Just got fatlogic from my MIL
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 6 19:39:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wiul9/just_got_fatlogic_from_my_mil/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] When someone posts an awful picture of you but you love it cuz your chest bone shows.
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 19:00:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wiph7/rantrave_when_someone_posts_an_awful_picture_of/
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http://imgur.com/Y1XwZ8Y

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[Other] My stupid thoughts
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 18:59:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wipec/my_stupid_thoughts/
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"Maybe he'll love me again if I'm skinny."
"Well now you've eaten (insert random shitty food) so let's just binge for the rest of the day."
"You aren't really a changed person, you're just a selfish bitch."
"You use depression as an excuse to be a bitch/eat."
"You don't deserve to be anything since you're such a fat ass."
"He'd never want you, you'll never be good enough for him."
"You should kill yourself, your life will never turn out how you want it anyways."
"You hate food but you still binge, what is wrong with you?"
"When you finally reach your goal weight your boobs will be even saggier than they are now."
"He loved grabbing your boobs and thighs, if he gets back with you then what will he think when he doesn't have much to grab anymore once you're at your goal weight?"
"He knows you're going downhill again, he knows you restrict."
"He thinks you're hideous too."
"You're not loveable, the anxiety and depression are disgusting and off putting."
"You'll never reach your goal weight, you never stop eating."
"You'll never be what you truly want to be."

Sorry for such an awful post. Needed to get it all off my chest. Hope everyone else is having a good day 💖

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What clothing only looks good on thin people?
/u/cry_baaby
Created: Sat Aug 6 17:28:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wicp5/what_clothing_only_looks_good_on_thin_people/
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For me, it's crop tops/halter tops and high waisted shorts. My school starts in a little under two weeks and I'm hoping I can reach my goal weight by then!!! Either that or I can't wear all the cute halter tops I bought ;((

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[Help] How to avoid depression/anxiety-triggered binges? Anxious about school and compulsively ate my way through the fridge. Literally felt sick the whole time but couldn't stop.
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 17:22:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wibxa/how_to_avoid_depressionanxietytriggered_binges/
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My stomach has been turning and I wanna purge but I can never get it all out. My anxiety was so well controlled this wasn't a problem for the whole sumer, but now I'm nervous again and I hate that it's back. :( :(

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[Goal] There's some wiggle room in my shorts!!!
/u/thelonelykitten_
Created: Sat Aug 6 17:07:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi9qo/theres_some_wiggle_room_in_my_shorts/
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http://imgur.com/He2U22B

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[Rant/Rave] Just got called fat at the store
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | -50 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 16:49:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi752/just_got_called_fat_at_the_store/
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It wasn't as mean as it sounds, she was just trying to tell me where to find cute plus size cloths but God I want to curl up and cry.

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[Rant/Rave] Found out what my body problem is!
/u/thin_is_in [5'8 | 115lbs | 17.3 | -35lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 16:44:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi6gb/found_out_what_my_body_problem_is/
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OK, not my body problem. One of my many, many body problems. But still, this has been a concern of mine for years, and I thought I was a freak.

I have 'violin hips'.

Google it. It's a revelation. I have a bone structure that other people have, and it's not just because I'm massively fat. I'm so happy!

I'm also really very drunk right now and just want to say I love all you girlies/guy-ies/non-gender-binary-ies so much! Love this place! :)

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Lost motivation and everyone around me is against me. So happy to find this subreddit.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 6 16:41:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi5y4/lost_motivation_and_everyone_around_me_is_against/
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[removed]

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[Intro] Intro!
/u/sensitive_butt [5'6 | 146.2 | 23.6 | 0]
Created: Sat Aug 6 16:38:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi5iz/intro/
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Hi all! I'm a long time lurker but I'm serious about losing weight. I'm 19 years old, and I've been using food (or lack thereof) as a coping mechanism for depression for several years - either by withholding food for the feeling of control, satisfaction of weight loss, and the cloudy peaceful hunger-brain; or by comforting myself with eating. Obviously I prefer the former strategy;) Thanks for giving me a place to find encouragement and accountability! Let's get tiny, ladies and gents<3

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[Other] my brunch this morning! honey chai // yogurt with granola and berries.
/u/okaysivan [5'3" | f | ∞ lbs.]
Created: Sat Aug 6 15:43:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whx6h/my_brunch_this_morning_honey_chai_yogurt_with/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/d8d5f63e5e6b470f823c77da0c872ab6?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=26d52020de712a8f0ffa15d822479e68

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I wanted to introduce myself
/u/twiggin [5'9" | 140 | 20.7 | 0 GW: 120 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 15:26:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whup3/i_wanted_to_introduce_myself/
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Hi all,

Currently 5'9", 140 pounds. I've put on 24 pounds since moving within the last two months and oh my has it been a struggle. I just wanted to introduce myself and let all y'all know what an inspiration you are :)

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Sorry for the snapchat filter but I just had to share my delicious brunch!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 6 15:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whtw5/sorry_for_the_snapchat_filter_but_i_just_had_to/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/ba3661fc24d745f1ac08b78a24e5b19c?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=df1238cdbd704e7d48dfcc17f75ca145

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[Help] I binged last night, and woke up 2 lbs down. Is this possible?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Sat Aug 6 15:07:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whrzr/i_binged_last_night_and_woke_up_2_lbs_down_is/
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I have spent last night post-binge in agony because I was binge free for so long, and I was doing SO well. I woke up feeling uncomfortably full but decided to weigh myself anyway and the scale says I've lost weight.

Is this even possible? Is it just going to show up later? I'm a mess of emotions right now and I don't know what to do.

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[Tip] Favorite frozen items?
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 14:44:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whoe5/favorite_frozen_items/
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Hi all, I read somewhere recently in addition to my general consumption of peas that peas can be 118kcal for one measly cup.

I personally love cauliflower, which is a stunning 27kcal per one cup (What a crazy difference) along with broccoli, 31kcal per one cup.

Are there any foods out there we should know about that have high calorie counts?

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[Help] Cheap, low claorie foods that don't go in the fridge?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | -50 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 14:12:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whjbv/cheap_low_claorie_foods_that_dont_go_in_the_fridge/
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Okay I'm freaking out. I won't have a fridge for days or months and the only thing I eat that doesn't go in the fridge is oatmeal.

My BF has to travel a lot for work so no idea when and what stores I'll have access to. I can't eat sugar free jello or yogurt (favorite lunches) or anything I usually eat for dinner (I cook, divide it up, and eat it later). I won't eat the stuff my BF eats when he can't have a fridge (so. much. peanut butter). We have a small budget for food. I mean I would just fast if I knew it would only be the two days I was originally told but I couldn't keep that up for a month...

My BF is making me feel like shit over this too. He keeps telling me I need to get over it and I'm making myself miserable. I don't know how to just get over it because I'm totally panicking because it affects my food. I'm afraid I can't restrict for an unknown amount of time and I already feel like shit because I've gained weight in the last few months.

Ideas please?

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[Help] Anxiety attack last night made me bloat 2 inches around my waist within about ten minutes... WTF?
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Sat Aug 6 13:43:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wheq2/anxiety_attack_last_night_made_me_bloat_2_inches/
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Maybe I just never noticed this symptom before because I was so fat for so long, but basically when I finally put my foot down and got tired of being the fattest I'd ever been in my life, my waist was around 36"... some of this was probably bloat from being chronically dehydrated and eating like shit. ("Recovery"... lmao.) Anyway, within about a month (since I started restricting again) I have dropped to just below 33", aiming for at least 26" eventually.

Last night I got an anxiety attack and literally felt myself balloon in my abdomen and face/throat. Partner has been noticing and complimenting me on the weight loss because it is making a huge difference in how I look, and he saw my neck when I pointed it out and could definitely tell I had grown a double chin instantly!!! Does anyone else bloat like crazy when they get anxiety? What do you do to prevent that symptom, if not the anxiety? It felt like my airway was closing off and I honestly believed I was going to die.

The one good thing of all of this is, even though I literally felt like a balloon, I was still an inch smaller than my HW of only a MONTH ago... I can't believe I was able to ignore that weight pressing on me all the time...

EDIT: okay, turns out at least some of the bloating that's sticking around today (about .5") is from my first period in OVER a year (I have a Mirena IUD for 2.5 years)... love it :')

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[Other] Kind of proud, kinda disappointed
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Sat Aug 6 13:11:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh9vf/kind_of_proud_kinda_disappointed/
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Currently at Perkins with a friend and I'm starving for carbs after a night of drinking. I ALMOST got something terrible for me, as lately I've been really good at keeping my overeating at bay and eating pretty healthy and working out and almost decided that I could give myself a cheat day.... and I went with one of their fit breakfasts instead. So I'm kind of proud, but kind of disappointed that I couldn't just let myself enjoy what I really wanted. :(

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[Rant/Rave] Adderall
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 13:06:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh923/adderall/
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I have ADHD, I am taking Adderall to treat it.

I am not taking it daily, rather... 2-3 times a week. It completely suppresses appetite. When I'm not hungry, it feels impossible to force myself to eat. Why would I put food in my body when I have no desire for it? So I can fast while I'm on it.

Problem is, when I get off the Addy, the next day I'll be starving and uncontrollably binge. Prior to being prescribed Adderall I was being consistent at around 800-1300 calories a day, and losing weight at a slow but maintainable pace.

This hell I'm experiencing right now is two weeks ago weighing in at my lowest weight ever, 111.2, and today, weighing in at 114 because of uncontrollable binging. I am pretty sure the solution is to try to eat more while I'm on Adderall so I eat less when I binge, or maybe to plan more carefully how to eat a shit ton of safe food the days I'm not on it.

Also, I feel like it's cheating. I'm not using willpower to control my weight anymore. I think my disordered eating largely centers around being able to have control over what I put into my body, and I love that. :/ But the Addy is a lifesaver aside from that, so I probably won't stop taking it anytime soon.

/rant

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[Other] Found this in r/freebies...I know a lot of us buy Quest products (this is free)
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 6 13:06:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh8zu/found_this_in_rfreebiesi_know_a_lot_of_us_buy/
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https://www.facebook.com/QuestNutrition/posts/1252323338141038

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[Help] Gaining muscle/not gaining weight
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 124 GW 119 |19.35 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:42:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh519/gaining_musclenot_gaining_weight/
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So I was going to post on r/ fitness or something but I'm pretty sure if they checked my previous posts they wouldn't be as keen to help me so hoping that you wonderful folks can advise.

I want to get to 109-119lbs but I don't want to be flabby. Looking in the mirror today and seeing the cellulite on my butt and my flabby back made me want to cry (shopping for new bras is hideous and resulted in upset and binge - I hate myself and had about 2500 calories so set my self back DAYS) I don't want to be skinny fat.

But I realised that gaining muscle will make me weigh more, which I can't handle. So like how should i do this? Get to my goal weight then try to build muscle but still eat 700 calories so I don't eat at maintenance thus gaining muscle but not weight? Would that work? Or should I start building muscle now as I realise it's a slow process and see what happens? I mean how likely is it that the scale will go up from sit ups, squats and light weights? I plan on doing small work outs at home but also using the machines and weights at the gym 3 times a week

Someone posted a pic last week showing a woman at 140lbs, 122lbs and then 135lbs but with muscle and she looked better than when she was a lower weight with no muscle, so that's the aesthetic I want, just at 119-109lbs rather than the higher weight.

Any help/advice or discussion on what's worked for you when it comes to cellulite and flabby skin.

Sorry I'm on mobile and can't flair

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[Help] How to deal with dizziness?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:41:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh4w0/how_to_deal_with_dizziness/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I don't like how every compliment I receive is so focused on my body
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:32:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh3ij/i_dont_like_how_every_compliment_i_receive_is_so/
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I need to vent, I hope I am not the only one who feels this way but maybe I am.

My boyfriend is aware that I have lost weight and he knows of my disordered eating. I suppose it's noticeable to him but I can't see it. Anyway for the past month whenever he compliments me it is something like

* You are so beautiful and thin!
* My dainty queen, the daintiest of them all
* I love how I can see your ribs, your stomach is so flat
* I love your legs, they are so small!

and so on. And it's nice to hear at first but now it is stressing me out. Every single compliment has something to do with how I look. He never used to compliment me this way, and I don't know if why he started is to help motivate me and make me feel proud of my achievements, or because he genuinely likes me smaller. I wasn't even large to begin with!

I am beginning to associate being loved and beautiful with being thin. If I am not thin or getting thinner, will he still love me? Will I still be his queen? I don't want to get below 100 pounds (at the moment..) because I have been there before and it's miserable for me. But god I am so afraid that if I don't, no one will find me attractive or want to be my friend anymore. I am more than my body and I know that, but do other people?

I'm scared.

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[Rant/Rave] Grossed out by people showing (excessive) enjoyment in food?
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:06:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgza0/grossed_out_by_people_showing_excessive_enjoyment/
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Recently, with it being summer and so many events involving food, I've noticed something...

I started taking Zoloft at the beginning of the summer and my appetite is nearly 100% gone. My 19.4BMI bf is actively reminding me to eat, versus how I use to do that to him lol. I think my lack of appetite has revealed a weird phobia/trigger thing with people eating.

At a family cook out, I was sitting with some cousins and suddenly I notice they're all.... moaning? Or just making weird noises of enjoyment.
Immediately lost my appetite.

I was sharing a table with people making sex noises over what would soon be plain old shit.

Gross.

Now, I enjoy the taste of things. I'll say 'yum!' or a simple ' that was good ' after eating, but this full on groaning with enjoyment?

Does anyone else feel really grossed out by how sexualized some people make eating?

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[Rant/Rave] I got called fat today.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:03:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgyrq/i_got_called_fat_today/
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Okay so this is somehow acceptable to say in my culture between family members at reunions or whatever. But Goddamn. That hit me like a fucking fire truck. Because it's simply not true? I haven't been this weight in a while. It's actually going GOOD? But now I've been staring at myself ALL day wondering why I'm pleased with what I see?? Why aren't others? The more this went through me the fatter I seemed to myself. Like I swear to God my clothes FEEL tighter and this morning I felt tiny. Hallo body dysmorphia. Fuck u cousin.

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[Help] Fasted yesterday, high kcal today but still light headed??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:59:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgyal/fasted_yesterday_high_kcal_today_but_still_light/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] I fit into my goal pants!
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:50:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgwp2/i_fit_into_my_goal_pants/
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Back in the beginning of the year I went Zara's for a big end of season sale and got these really cute work pants that were a steal. The catch was they were an xs. I almost fit in them at the time of purchase, but thought if I worked hard they'd eventually fit.

Then the school year happened, application for my doctorate happened, and I gained rather than lost. I was stuck in a plateau of around 121-123. Summer came and I had promo work for my wrestling group where I started to restrict and do yoga/body weight exercises and the lbs started shedding.

Today I'm down to 116 for the first time in a long time and gave them a go...they fit! They're a little tight but I don't have fat hanging over or anything. Just can't go karate kicking or attempting splits. I'm wearing them today at work with a crop top and I'm on cloud 9 =] Hope the rest of you are making strides and hitting your goals too!

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[Thinspo] great thinspo. my instagram feed offers some surprise thinspo pretty regularly lately :)
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 128 lbs | 22.40 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:45:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgw0l/great_thinspo_my_instagram_feed_offers_some/
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https://www.instagram.com/p/BIv2pYOBk0x/

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[Discussion] What does eating disordered mean to you?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:38:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wguwn/what_does_eating_disordered_mean_to_you/
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A super common theme; always interested in other experiences. I've never had a low enough weight to have external validation of being sick, and I've never sought a diagnosis or treatment, but I've purged for decades and go through phases where the business of living is variously hobbled or totally halted by crippling fear and obsession over weight and food (in my head, anyway). But then I go through phases where I can get along okay-ish and I'm pretty much just a woman vaguely dissatisfied with her body, trying to achieve a non-extreme weight goal (small but not emaciated - I've never wanted to be SUPER thin) via non-extreme intake and exercise (like, daily 1000cal/5k run/yoga) and I'm like...this is pretty much normal cutting behavior? "Healthy", even? My mindset is and will always be a bit harsh/inclined toward black and white thinking and mixing up complicated life + emotional stuff with eating behaviors...but ehhh. Doesn't sound especially problematic to me.

Not trying to unlock an achievement here - eventually I want to get to a place where I put no value, positive or negative, on eating behaviors and can just roll a bit better with whatever I'm doing at the moment without examining it so much. But for now I do still have some weird mental links I can't shake between being dysfunctional/disordered and being interesting...wannabe ED girl feels like the last leftover bit of my angry teenager angst and I want her to die. Once having achieved thinness, of course.

Just looking for perspectives and thoughts. What's the line for you? What made you say "I think I might have an eating disorder"?

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[Rant/Rave] My last resort is now my only resort.
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:13:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgqr7/my_last_resort_is_now_my_only_resort/
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I start EC stacking today. Wish me luck. I gained 3 lbs. Like, actual weight. I can't stop eating. Everything is fucked.

All I want to do is starve and all I can do is eat compulsively.

All this started because I decided to try and maintain. I've been binging ever since. So fuck being reasonable, it never worked before and there's no reason why I should have been stupid enough to think it would work again. My only options are to eat nothing or eat everything. And that is why I'm going to balloon up to obesity. Again. I'll beat my head against the wall until it breaks if that happens again. I can't be a fat fuck again. I can't let it happen. It's already starting. I'm disgusting.

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[Rant/Rave] Vacation ups and downs [rant/rave]
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 10:13:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wghcm/vacation_ups_and_downs_rantrave/
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Vacation is hard, we all know this. Rich food, thoughtless comments from relatives, bathing suits, and no routine can all add up to make these things rough.

I've spent the last week on a tropical island with relatives, half vacationing and half weathering a hurricane.

The ups:

1. When I arrived all the relatives exclaimed "you lost half of yourself!" "You're so small!" Rather validating. Of course then they asked how I did it and I had to lie, but it was nice to have an honest assessment of myself as smaller.

2. Constant sweat means I'm holding onto almost no water weight and my abs look as good as they can. It's like living in a sauna. 😎

3. The extreme midday heat makes an easy excuse to not eat lunch, and with so many people they don't really notice how much breakfast I eat.

4. Enjoying my sitting-down thigh gap all the time. :D
http://imgur.com/Jhuu50s

The downs:

1. Everything we are eating is carbs. Pasta, bread, pancakes, beans, rice, all carbs. I am eating way more than I'm comfortable with because of the rush/crash cycle.

2. I have to wear a bikini like, all the time. 👙

3. My uncle is a photographer with a passion for sneaky candids and I'm paranoid at all times that he's taking unflattering photos.

How are vacations going for you all? I'd love to hear your ups and downs!

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Aug 6 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgfq2/daily_food_diary_august_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Goal] Weigh In: August 5, 2016
/u/duckybird0407
Created: Sat Aug 6 09:19:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wg9n6/weigh_in_august_5_2016/
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122.2 lbs
Thigh: 20 in
Arm: 10 in
Waist: 25 in

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[Discussion] What's your magic number?
/u/YourChinaDoll [5'1" | SW: 169 | CW: 130.4 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 09:13:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wg8ss/whats_your_magic_number/
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Whenever I get back down to 132, I find that for some reason people are much nicer to me. Which is weird, because that's still pretty fat for my height. And yesterday I hit 132 again, and bam! My boss told me I looked pretty and I got leered at by a car passing by. Which kind of sucks but I find some sick sense of validation from it. Last time I was under 132, people used to actually smile at me in the gym. Do you find that people are nicer to you when you're under a certain number?

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[Goal] Hip bones are coming in! Weird to feel a tinge of body contentment.
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | HW 180 | CW 117 | LW 114.6 | 29 F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 08:36:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wg3gb/hip_bones_are_coming_in_weird_to_feel_a_tinge_of/
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http://i.imgur.com/08jplGE.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] Greece Day 1: Got called the "big daughter" (rant)
/u/commtra [5'7 | GW:110 | -11 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 07:37:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfwd9/greece_day_1_got_called_the_big_daughter_rant/
---
I don't have a laptop with me so I can't add flairs but arrived at the house I'm staying in with my mum, dad, brothers & sister. First thing the lovely house owner lady said to me was, "ohh big daughter" and then to my skinny sister she said, "you're very beautiful!"


Cool so guess who's not eating for 3 days now! Thanks lady.

On my good days I eat well and don't restrict as heavily as I usually do. Today was a good day until the lovely lady triggered all of my bad thoughts back.

She also shoved some turkish delight into me. I want to throw up but there's tons of people around me :~)

She might've also meant that I'm older and taller than my sister and I'm also taller than my mum but my brain sure doesn't see it that way.

---

[Help] Does anyone else's measurements go up during Shark Week?
/u/lithelife [5'4''| CM: 35-27-39| GM: 33-23-36 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 07:26:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfv44/does_anyone_elses_measurements_go_up_during_shark/
---
I just got back from two weeks' vacation where I was eating really well; not restricting tons, but definitely below maintenance.

Anyway, I took my measurements when I got home and everything was about a half-inch up. I don't know if I'm just bloated or what -- I always *feel* bigger on my period, but I usually don't measure myself at that time so I don't know if I actually *am* bigger.

Ugh ugh ugh I thought I was doing well :(

---

[Thinspo] Trying on some pants from high school. These used to be tight...
/u/Hamily [5'4.5" | 91 | 15.62 | -49 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 06:34:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfpni/trying_on_some_pants_from_high_school_these_used/
---
http://imgur.com/RmJv02P

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[Other] My breakfast every day for the past few weeks: one small pear (80) and one fourth cup low fat cottage cheese (90)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 6 06:06:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfmzw/my_breakfast_every_day_for_the_past_few_weeks_one/
---
http://imgur.com/a/5wsfD

---

[Goal] I've never felt so proud of my body. Only about halfway there, but feeling a sense of accomplishment today :) Thank you all for the constant motivation and encouragement.
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 05:40:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfkdu/ive_never_felt_so_proud_of_my_body_only_about/
---
http://imgur.com/a/8EimO

---

[Rant/Rave] First week of my new plan (basically, eating more) done and I havn't pooped for 5 days.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 6 03:40:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wf9aq/first_week_of_my_new_plan_basically_eating_more/
---
Okay, so Saturday and Sunday to go, but I have a feeling they'll be like most other Saturdays and Sundays.

TMI time.

Wednesday - Sunday *last* week, I ate at maintenance.. and had awful diarrhoea from Wednesday night onwards. Like, really truly bad. Every time I'd eat, it would set my guts off and I'd rush to the loo. I'd need to go every couple of hours anyway. There was literally no solid mass to what was coming out, except bits undigested food.

The last time I went though (still diarrhoea) was this Monday. Since then I have carried on eating more, though not at maintenance.. but I HAVE NOT POOPED ONCE. NOT ONCE. Okay, so I usually do not go during the week cus of all the fasting and it doesn't usually cause all that much hassle because I don't eat much I guess.. but I thought with eating more, I'd go more? At least still have the diarrhoea?! But no. The extra food I've consumed this week is all sitting on my stomach.. it's bloated and *hard*. Not terribly so I guess, but still so.

I don't want to take laxative meds unless I really have to.. because I know myself. Once I take them, I know I risk latching onto them, and risk a habit.

Any help or advice or explanations appreciated ofc but mostly I just wanted to rant about being a BALL OF GODDAMN POOP.

Smokes, the fat ball of poop.

---

[Meme/Humor] MRW I'm searching the kitchen for binge food at 4AM but I don't have any cos I ALREADY FUCKING ATE IT ALL
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 03:06:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wf6fl/mrw_im_searching_the_kitchen_for_binge_food_at/
---
http://i.imgur.com/fg5kjWF.jpg

---

Dear lovelies,
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Aug 6 03:02:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wf61z/dear_lovelies/
---
[removed]

---

[Other] This is like the first time I hate my ED
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Aug 6 02:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wf3e6/this_is_like_the_first_time_i_hate_my_ed/
---
I'm on a vacation right now. It's a beautiful country, gorgeous weather, bright blue sea and of course delicious food.

Yet I can't seem to want to go out. It's extremely hot and wth, I can't go out in any outfit I brought. I'm with others and I can't go to the beach after breakfast.. I look so bloated. I'm just upset, all I see is fat when I look in the mirror and I'm either eating at maintance or above every day and I know I already gained weight.

This is probably my last vacation in the upcoming four years and I just hate that I can't enjoy it.

---

[Tip] A really detailed Body Weight Planner tool. So useful!
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 23:40:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wemkr/a_really_detailed_body_weight_planner_tool_so/
---
https://www.supertracker.usda.gov/bwp/index.html

---

Can I be sad to you guys?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 5 23:25:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wekwk/can_i_be_sad_to_you_guys/
---
[deleted]

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[Intro] Intro and impostor feelings
/u/LiamNeesonsMegaCock [5'4'' | CW: 145 lbs | 25.38 | GW: 105 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 23:05:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4weiu2/intro_and_impostor_feelings/
---
Hey all

I have been lurking for several months and only posting for the past week, but I feel like I need to introduce myself.

I have not been diagnosed with an ED. I have never tried to seek psychological/psychiatric help. I've had...issues with eating and food for a couple years now. I'm really enormous for this community (143 lbs and 5'4"). And I've been this gigantic for over a year, losing and gaining the same ten lbs ad infinitum. I'm just barely into the overweight category by BMI standards.

I can't eat in front of anyone else without terrible anxiety. I have to feign a big breakfast or hide when I think my boss is bringing in sandwiches for the team. I have so many rituals around eating that need to be satisfied every day or I get so anxious and upset. I have a horrible, terrible relationship with carbs that revolves entirely around fear and shame.

I don't know if I have an ED. I feel like it won't matter if I get diagnosed because I know my brain shit isn't normal or healthy. But I don't want to stop because I feel like it's the only thing keeping me from diving into full on obesity.

I lurked on the healthy fitness forums for a while. I tried. I cardioed. I lifted. I did it the healthy way. I know the healthy way is better.

But...I can't relate to those people. I can't relate to people that don't obsess about everything that goes into their bodies. I feel like I've found so much RELIEF in this community. I can relate to you girls and guys so much more than I can anyone else. And I guess that why I'm here.

I dunno the point of this post. I've just never told this all to anyone before. Thanks for listening, and thanks for existing. I adore this community, and have never felt a more supportive online presence for my dysfunction anywhere else. Thanks for making me feel like a person again, /r/proed.

---

[Goal] success!
/u/Sighgal
Created: Fri Aug 5 23:00:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wei3c/success/
---
I've had nothing but alcohol to eat today.
It's so much easier to self destruct when you're alone.

---

[Other] Today's 268 cal lunch
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 22:18:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wedeq/todays_268_cal_lunch/
---
http://imgur.com/a/MejVZ

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[Other] A friend just texted me
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Fri Aug 5 21:19:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we64h/a_friend_just_texted_me/
---
a friend just texted me saying how proud they are of me for going though recovery.


Whoops.

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[Other] Tonight's Dinner with my bf (total of 247 cal, including the drink!)
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 5 21:00:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we3hu/tonights_dinner_with_my_bf_total_of_247_cal/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/sQlCs

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Tonight's dinner
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 5 20:59:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we3bq/tonights_dinner/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/sQlCs

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[Help] Weekend long food-filled social event H A L P
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 5 20:49:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we21h/weekend_long_foodfilled_social_event_h_a_l_p/
---
[deleted]

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[Intro] Friday Night Intro
/u/coffeelurk [F25| 5'4" | CW 121 | GW 100]
Created: Fri Aug 5 20:45:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we1dm/friday_night_intro/
---
Hi lovelies. Just wanted to introduce myself, as i've been lurking for the last 6 weeks when my 'ana' tendencies came back. I've gone from my HW of 140 to current weight of 125, which may seem high to a lot of you but oh man do I feel and look so much better already. My GW is 110, I think. We'll see if I want to go lower when I get there. I am doing Keto and eat 400-800 cals a day.

I've learned a lot of patience this time around. When I was 15 I could fast for days on end and lose a pound a day. These days I have to eat at least 400 cal a day or I feel like i'm going to die, and the weight comes off super slow. But I feel more patient this time around, I will have this body my whole life and I will take the time to built it into exactly what I want.

Currently i'm juggling trying to maintain my relationship with my AMAZING sweet man, juggling 3 jobs (don't ask why or how that happened), take care of my 1 year old pug, and get to my GW.

I hope everyone is is having a great Friday, and stay strong this weekend! <3

---

[Goal] I'm posting this for accountability. I won't binge tonight.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 20:41:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we0ws/im_posting_this_for_accountability_i_wont_binge/
---
I've already eaten 1600-1800 calories today. I really want to just keep eating. But I'm NOT going to. Even if I stay up all night out of hunger. I will throw my extra food out before I eat it.

Thank you all for reading.

---

[Goal] Still using this app, hit my first goal today.
/u/Sundoglord [64" | 118 | 20.25 | 29 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 19:31:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wdri4/still_using_this_app_hit_my_first_goal_today/
---
http://imgur.com/a/gwQTo

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[Help] Boyfriend is getting worried
/u/lowkeydeadinside
Created: Fri Aug 5 18:34:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wdjxp/boyfriend_is_getting_worried/
---
My boyfriend knows about my past with anorexia. I was underweight, my periods stopped, and I was totally unhealthy. I've been recovered since before we started dating but I've relapsed recently. He thinks I've just lost my appetite when I've actually been starving myself again. He's begun to get worried about me losing weight and becoming unhealthy and he's threatened to force feed me if I lose too much. I'm not sure how to throw him off my tracks. Especially since I have 25 pounds to lose, he's bound to notice.

---

[Discussion] New to r/proED...need some guidance
/u/Kidfromelpaso [65in | 140lbs | 23.57 | 5lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 18:10:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wdgp9/new_to_rproedneed_some_guidance/
---
So I recently came to the realization that my eating habits aren't exactly "normal" habit for most people. I obsess over cleanses twice a month and fast 3/4 days a week. My SO looked heartbroken when he realized exactly what I've been doing. (We work opposite hours so it's hard to notice, but we took a 4 day vacation and he seemed shocked when he realized I hardly ate) I frequently indulge in edibles which gives me some appetite. But I'm finding it harder and harder to want to eat anything but veggies and nuts/seeds and drink water and vodka. I've got a decent alcohol issue and that's the reason I've been maintaining my ridiculous weight (140lbs). SO said I might need some help but didn't push it further. I want to embrace what I have and lose about 25/30 lbs. Thinspo and caffeine and cigarettes are my usual go to when I don't or can't eat. Any advice on how to get to my GW without anyone noticing I've got some issues? I'm pretty embarrassed.

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[Rant/Rave] At Boyfriend's House and Quite Conflicted [long rant/rave]
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Fri Aug 5 17:47:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wddi3/at_boyfriends_house_and_quite_conflicted_long/
---
I'm visiting my boyfriend and his family (he went home for the summer, I stayed in my college town, school starts in ~a month) and I am quite conflicted about everything.

On the one hand, I've been using his scale (I normally only get to use the lil slidey one at my college gym because I haven't bought a scale yet and I am not going to be able to until after I pay for textbooks) so I can actually weigh myself in the morning before I've eaten and after I've [sometimes lol] pooped and I appear to be shedding all the water weight that was keeping me plateauing so I am hitting a new LW every morning and it's wonderful.

On the other hand, every meal is tortuously anxiety inducing and I have to deal with his sad puppy dog eyes when I don't eat anything at dinner [he knows about my ED] For example, today I had to go eat lunch with his parents and his rich-ass grandparents (they are lovely people but I cannot connect with them in any meaningful way. They spent the entire lunch talking about the 10 day Alaskan cruise they just went on and I'm over here like, I have enough money this week to pay my electric bill and buy my cheap safe food for groceries next week. (yay sweet potatoes!)) and there was sandwiches (!! fear food: bread), an "asian noodle salad" (!!!fear food: pasta) and afterwards, dessert (!!!! just fear: mint chocolate chip ice cream with lacey cookies) I ate as absolutely little as possible but I didn't want any of it and it was just so so anxiety inducing for me and now I can't eat dinner because of it and he's just gonna be like, you don't have to eat if you don't want to but I'm gonna *know* what he's thinking.

Jesus this got long. TL;DR: Making gains at losing but actually anxious as fuck. Thanks for reading

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[Intro] New to this board and I have a couple of questions.
/u/Metal_Havoc
Created: Fri Aug 5 17:43:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wdcvp/new_to_this_board_and_i_have_a_couple_of_questions/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Plank Challenge - day 5
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 17:01:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wd6p1/plank_challenge_day_5/
---
Hey! How many of you decided to follow along with /u/smokesandsietcokes plank challenge? (Originally posted [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vok75/a_lot_of_people_i_know_are_doing_this_30_day/) )

Today should be your first rest day if you've kept up with it. How's your first few days feel? Have you done planks before or is this your first time trying it?

I've been doing them with feet elevated for an additional challenge since I had experience with planks. I missed doing it yesterday (was a bad day) but am catching up today. I'm definitely feeling the 50s elevated planks!

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[Help] ED Advice with health care professionals
/u/amyrj28 [Height: 157cm | CW: 6st 7lbs | BMI: 16.7 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 16:57:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wd60i/ed_advice_with_health_care_professionals/
---
Hi. I have been diagnosed with AN a few months ago, and have a care coordinator and psychiatrist for that and help with depression, anxiety and self harm. I got involved with those services mainly for help with the depression and self harm as I was hospitalised last October for it, but have since had a relapse with an eating disorder (was diagnosed as EDNOS in 2008, but sort of recovered).

Anyway, my weight did stay quite steady for a while, so it wasn't really much of a concern, but in the past 2 months or so I've dropped around a stone or so, putting me at 6st 5lbs as of today, which gives me a bmi of 16.2.

Care coordinator (she's a community psych nurse), told me today my weight has dropped too much already and she isn't prepared to watch me get thinner and thinner every week anymore as it's gone on long enough and she is now concerned for my health and wellbeing physically, and emotionally, as my mood has dipped considerably, and my anxiety is really bad at the moment. Plus I am having physical effects such as loss of balance, dizzy, blacking out etc.

She was asking today if I wanted to be admitted to hospital because at the moment I'm very close to forcing her to take that route, but at the moment she's at the very least referring me to the high risk ED team and sending me for a full physical health check, and then based on that I have no idea.

I thought no one could do anything until my BMI was 15, but she said with my weight getting lower every week, and my use of laxatives involved they still can?

I'm not even sure what I'm asking here lol. I don't want to be hospitalised against my will, I don't want a referral to the ED team, but I can't maintain yet either. And she's hell bent on something happening soon.

I'm in the UK if that makes a difference.

Amy.

---

[Thinspo] Is anyone else a tiny bit in love with Keira?
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 124 GW 119 |19.35 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 16:50:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wd4ua/is_anyone_else_a_tiny_bit_in_love_with_keira/
---
https://imgur.com/a/McdV9

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[Rant/Rave] Bittersweet
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 16:01:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wcwtn/bittersweet/
---
So i am significantly thinner than i was 6 months ago which is great. But now none of my clothes fit, they are all kind of baggy on me, even though they are size small. Even with my belt on the last notch, there is still a lot of space between my pants and stomach. The problem is my boyfriend tells me weekly how awful i look in all my clothes because theyre too big on me. it sucks bc i can't exactly go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. Its like i lost weight bc i looked shitty, but now that i've lost weight i still look shitty. fuck me man

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How can i stay on track fasting??
/u/wavvvybaby
Created: Fri Aug 5 15:56:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wcvyp/how_can_i_stay_on_track_fasting/
---
[removed]

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[Intro] Rationality.
/u/ceru1eus [67" | CW 122 | SW 122 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 15:53:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wcvit/rationality/
---
I have been uncomfortable with my weight for years, ranging from 135lbs in high school to 100lbs in college due to some health issues (I'm now 25). That range is largely in part to, of course, that old friend ED. I've found that my 'comfort zone' is around 110lbs, which I haven't been consistently in over a year.

I decided this summer to try and gain some weight. I haven't had a period in over two years and wanted to see if I could restore it and resolve other health complications by maintaining around 120-125. I wanted to improve my relationship with food and myself in the meantime. I wanted to accept my body with a little more mass. Well, I made it, but I'm finding it much less bearable than I expected. It took so much self-deception and so many weird rationalizations to keep up binge after binge in order to get there. I've been trying to lose again for a few weeks with no success. I've learned through this process to get better at accepting when a binge happens and then just move on without tearing myself apart for it, but that's a double-edged sword. It's definitely better for my mental health. I used to freak out over being 400cal over. Now I'm more like "1500 over my tde? meh, I'll figure it out later." That adds up, of course.

I want to be healthy. I want to be happy with my body and the way I think about food. I think I know how to get there, but I know the ways I plan to get to my goals are not the healthiest physically or psychologically. Maybe once I get back to my comfort zone, I'll be able to rework my relationship with food, because it's definitely problematic. I'm a really rational, level-headed person with respect to almost all other parts of my life, but I guess everyone has a little crazy in them. For now, I just want to feel back in control of my life and my body. I've always fought this battle alone. I don't want to do that anymore. I started lurking on this subreddit a few weeks ago. It's an unusually accepting community, one that I'd like to be a part of rather than continue a cycle of perceived failure and self-deprecation. I likely won't have as much time as I'd like to devote to this sub (thanks academia), but I hope you guys won't mind me stopping by from time to time. You seem like lovely humans. <3

tl/dr: hey guys!

---

Antbody realize they save money with their ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 5 15:31:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wcrtx/antbody_realize_they_save_money_with_their_ed/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Another *ahem* bowel movement question
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 14:12:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wce1p/another_ahem_bowel_movement_question/
---
Sorry for the TMI guys.

Whenever I go to poop, it comes out in these little chunks, like rabbit poops.

As far as I know, that's not normal, but I can't figure out what the deal is.

Anyone got any insight?

---

[Rant/Rave] Reconciling logic and ED brain can be so frustrating. Aka, why i bitched out at the gym today
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 14:05:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wccts/reconciling_logic_and_ed_brain_can_be_so/
---
So i lift weights and i go as heavy as i can while restricting. My fling is here until monday and he's a personal trainer, so we've been spending upwards of 3hrs at the gym putting in work. Today we were hitting chest. I wanted a one rep max of 95 on my bench and i got it. Then we did volume and a bunch of other exercises. Point being that today was supposed to have been amazing.

But then there was another couple and idk what the guy looked like, honestly no idea. But the girl. Oh man, she had the best quads while still being so small. And then she squatted 135 with ease. She couldnt have been more than 127. And here's my fat ass at 143, struggling to put up a PR of 165. And she's over there pushing out 8 like it's nothing.

So logically, im trying to work through all this: 'you cant compare yourself with her' 'youre doing the best for you' 'she's probably been doing this longer' 'you dont know her story' ' do your day to the best of your ability', etc. And meanwhile im also trying to look like im not crumbling on the inside.

Anyway, i failed at that, and i got extremely moody and frustrated, and instead of being able to put that frustration into my lifts, i just got pissed, quietly rage quit (while my dude was trying to figure out wtf was up) and did cardio for the next 30 minutes.

Im so mad at myself. Why couldnt i use that to push myself? Why did her success tear me down? Why did i project all of that onto her? Im so frustrated trying to be both logical and disordered; it just doesnt work together.

---

[Discussion] Can we talk about the wonders of broth?
/u/newportshorty [5'9 | fat | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 14:05:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wccrg/can_we_talk_about_the_wonders_of_broth/
---
I love it. I can throw a ton of zucchini, carrots, whatever other yummy vegetable in a giant pot of water, toss in half a bouillon cube and well-ah! I get like half a gallon of water in, a super full tummy, and so few calories. It's amazing. Especially coming from me, someone who is a savory queen lol. I found my perfect sugar route (Halo Top, dear god yes) and now I have this. Anyone else love broth?

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[Discussion] Purging a chocolate donut - 0/10 no recommendations, here.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Aug 5 13:27:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wc5vx/purging_a_chocolate_donut_010_no_recommendations/
---
I see that people post donuts a lot as binge food. I'm really confused as to how lol

I ate a chocolate donut, felt bad about 20 minutes later. Chugged some water, went to my work bathroom, and just puked up frosting. Messiest thing ever. Never again.

Have any of you purged something that you were just like "ugh, no, not even worth it" - another for me is salsa.. lol

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[Discussion] Does anyone else joke about their ED with friends?
/u/ClownLord-PlebMaster [5'8 | 145.6 | 22.0 | 27 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 13:16:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wc3v3/does_anyone_else_joke_about_their_ed_with_friends/
---
I was hanging out with a friend today and they had cake at their house. He asked if i wanted a slice so i said "no thanks i had a tortilla chip today" amd we both laughed about it. he knows about my ED but he respects me enough to not intervene because he knows i can handle myself. Anyone else say silly shit like that?

---

[Rant/Rave] Almost caught purging on vacation.
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:133 lbs | BMI 19.6 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Fri Aug 5 13:15:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wc3pz/almost_caught_purging_on_vacation/
---
Hello everyone!

Sorry that I haven't posted much, or did any food diaries the last couple days. I actually have been on vacation in the city with my friends. Turns out, I came back with a story to tell.

While I was on vacation, I was very worried that I might have to eat "normally" around my friends in order to avoid raising suspicion. I figured 3 meals a day couldn't be /too/ bad... especially since I was walking alot too, I thought I would burn some extra calories. But I forgot about how anxious I feel when it comes to eating around others and eating out at a restaurant. Since we were on vacation, we ate out three times each day with snacks in between aswell. I really wanted to avoid purging, but I will admit that i did purge a couple times. It was just too much to handle. I thought no one noticed at the time (I always said I was just going to the bathroom, no one came with me ever).

It wasn't until the last meal, when another guy who was on vacation came into the washrooms and asked me what I was doing.. Apparently one of the girls on the trip (most of my friends are female) sent him into the washroom to check in on me and make sure I was okay. He mentioned how she (the girl who sent him in here) thought it was odd that I went to the washroom after every meal. I told him I was fine, and no one ever brought anything up after that. Although I technically wasn't caught purging, I totally thought that I blew my cover right then are there.

This was way too close of a call. It's August 5th...For those of you who don't know, I am moving 6-8 hours away come September. I will be alone with no one who knows about past history with ana.

I've made it this far being low-key about my ED...tricking friends... family... and therapists.

I cannot screw up now.

---

I got asked if I was ok by a guy at work today
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 12:26:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbum7/i_got_asked_if_i_was_ok_by_a_guy_at_work_today/
---
I work in the offices of a warehouse doing HR so I have a fair amount of interaction with our shop guys (carpenters, iron workers, electricians, etc). My field is filled with middle aged men, and being a mid-20s girl I've gotten used to the guys either treating me like a girl they want to bang or a daughter, sometimes both and it's really weird especially since I'm HR but whatever they get 3 strikes and no one's gotten there yet. So over the past few years there are a few of the guys that I've gotten closer with, guys that I talk to and they keep me updated on their lives and vice versa and it's always a nice talk. I've also gone up and down in weight over the past few years, only about 20lbs here or there but as guys who are always looking I assume they notice. One guy is truly very nice and I've gotten to know a good deal about his wife, they've had a son and I got him a gift that the little boy adores, and he's made mention of the fact that I'm a beautiful girl but never in the hitting on way just as a matter fact way. One day he came in and told me that according the radio that morning I had everything a guy looks for in a girl and listed off the criteria from the radio show and he was right; things like dark curly hair, tall, intelligent, and always smiling. It was an interesting conversation but nothing inappropriate. So today we're walking past each other and he just says "Every time I see you you get skinnier and skinnier." In my mind I was thinking AWESOME! Until he continued. He proceeded to ask me if I was ok, and then added that his wife was also losing weight and she was stressed out but maybe it's the time of year because everyone seems to be losing weight. I laughed it off and said yes it was because it was summer which encourages more physical activity and we laughed together and went on our way. I was really happy when he first brought it up but now part of me wonders if I'm looking sickly or something, or if people are talking about me behind my back thinking I'm losing it too fast or something. My goal look has never been to be super skinny, I see a lot of pro-ana thinspo and think it's too skinny, but I've ALWAYS wanted a flat stomach and am determined to lose enough body fat that I have one. But what if I can't do that without looking like a teenage girl? I don't have big boobs or anything but I still would like to look like a woman. My bf keeps saying I look great and that he'd definitely tell me if I was sick looking but this guy's comment has just stuck in my head all day.

---

[Discussion] Someone was taking pictures of me...
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:58:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbpay/someone_was_taking_pictures_of_me/
---
about 2 days ago I was binging at subway (I purged right after). While I was sitting in the corner eating my sandwich, I hear this table of people giggling and laughing. But I thought nothing of it.
Then all their chatter turned to whispers and I hear someone say under their breath "take a picture of her! Take a picture" I look up and their iPhones are aimed towards me and they were taking pictures of me eating. When I looked at them they put there phones down, and the guy that was in the group did one of those fake coughs and says "ham beast" and the girl next to him does a fake cough and says "fat ass". And they laughed and left.

Its just crazy to me how people can be so cruel.

---

[Goal] Got this notification today while updating my weight on MFP
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:49:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbnmx/got_this_notification_today_while_updating_my/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/3801ea530c094a3ea7bd110a7bdc9231?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=2981f9e8ea1467eff5c6a521fc093b21

---

[Intro] My first post
/u/lowkeydeadinside
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbnim/my_first_post/
---
(Could someone please comment how to flair a post on the app??)

Hi everyone! I just found this community and I like it a lot. I'm relapsing with my anorexia and I wanted to find a place I post about it! I'm 16, 5'6" 122 lbs and my GW is 97 lbs. My lowest weight is 102. I look forward to meeting people on here!

---

[Help] [Help] Calorie question?
/u/jippityjuniper [5'7" | 148 | 23.10 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:33:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbkpf/help_calorie_question/
---
Hi everyone, sorry for no flair, I'm on mobile. I eat a brand of rice from the Aldi food store called Specially Selected Brown Basmati Rice. I had originally thought the calories were 140 cal for 1/2 cup, but on myfitnesspal it's telling it's 140 cal for an entire cup?? Is that possible? That seems like so much rice for the calorie count, and if I've been wrong about one of my favorite safe foods for so long I can't help but feel slightly upset. I didn't want to make an entire post for one question but I could find any proper information online.

Edit: I should have added it's 1/2 cup cooked, not dry.

---

[Rant/Rave] I just want to be aloooooooone :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:30:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbk58/i_just_want_to_be_aloooooooone/
---
[deleted]

---

Lowest adult weight
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 124 GW 119 |19.35 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 10:32:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wb9co/lowest_adult_weight/
---
So I reached my lowest adult weight today. Last time I saw 128lbs was about 5 years ago, and I feel ... Deflated.

Last time I was this weight I was ecstatic. I had finally taken control of my weight for the first time, had lost roughly the same weight I have lost this time (27lbs) and I felt SKINNY and pretty and powerful.

This time... I was in a meeting at work today and I crossed my arms and was subtly grabbing the fat round my ribs there is still enough for me to grab 2 handfuls at the same time, and even more on my tummy which still sticks out- I have quite narrow hips which means I always have a tummy and I want it to FUCK OFF!

But after loosing all the weight a second time I'm wondering if part of my problem will be loose skin. Maybe I'll always be able to grab skin like that I can't tell how much is fat, defo fat on tummy but maybe ribs is more skin? Idk, have to wait and see I guess. I'm less than 10lbs away from my GW now but I already know I want to go lower - to 109lbs probably but I'm kinda in denial about this as I don't want to actually move the goal posts yet.

Rant/rave on mobile sorry no flair

---

[Discussion] Most weight (according to scale) you've gained after a binge?
/u/wanderingrugrat [5'0" | cw: 96.8 lbs | -40 lbs | f]
Created: Fri Aug 5 10:06:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wb4ll/most_weight_according_to_scale_youve_gained_after/
---
How long did it take to lose it again?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 5 10:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wb3tt/daily_food_diary_august_05_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm interested in a guy who is only 1 inch taller than me and is too close to my own weight for comfort.
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Fri Aug 5 09:59:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wb38x/im_interested_in_a_guy_who_is_only_1_inch_taller/
---
No way in hell we are having sex before I get to my UGW of 125 lbs. He's maybe 5'10" or so and is 155 lbs. I'm 5'9" and 145. 😰 I feel huge.

---

[Goal] I think something finally clicked for me.
/u/thinismygame [5'6" | 148 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 09:24:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wax3e/i_think_something_finally_clicked_for_me/
---
This morning, I woke up too late to work out, but still earlier than usual. Normally, missing a workout leads to a binge. Habitually, I ran through the breakfast menu at McDonald's in my head to pick out the food that would serve as my punishment. Instead of feeling my usual guilt, regret, and self-hatred, I felt nothing. Not nothing in that dark sense of apathy, but nothing was pushing me forward. Nothing made me **want** to binge.

Instead of crying on the scale, I skipped weighing myself (another punishment that only garners shame) to play with the dog. I danced around the living room. I made tea and packed Powerade Zero for lunch, deciding that I would fast as a replacement for my missed workout, not a punishment.

I feel free of the desperation to be in control because I actually am in control. I used to fear being fat, gaining so much weight that I'd bust out of my clothes like the Incredible Hulk (you won't like me when I'm ~~angry~~ fat!). How, I'm hopeful. I am excited to know that I'll be thin soon. I have a plan, and I know that absent this pressure formed by fear, I will achieve my goals.

They say fear is strong but I'm finding that hope is stronger.

---

[Rant/Rave] Going to Yoga for the first time in a month
/u/ClashTenniShoes [6'M | 212 lb| 28.8 BMI | -11 lb | UGW 190]
Created: Fri Aug 5 09:23:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wawxg/going_to_yoga_for_the_first_time_in_a_month/
---
So, I've felt too fat to go to Yoga for a month now. It's already feeling awkward cause I don't want to be "that guy" that goes to Yoga class, and then I Feel even worse when I'm feeling fat and then it's just a bad cycle because yoga helps debloat me.

Anyway, woke up this morning, was down 7 lbs since Sunday night and cleared my work schedule. I'm so excited.

---

[Other] TFW a lot of us would genuinely ask this question
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'3 | 103.1 | 18.50 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 09:05:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4watvd/tfw_a_lot_of_us_would_genuinely_ask_this_question/
---
https://np.reddit.com/r/shittyaskscience/comments/4w8gbj/if_water_contains_0_calories_then_why_do_i_weigh/

---

[Help] Freaking Out
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 5 08:58:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wasfn/freaking_out/
---
So I posted an awesome progress photo of my weight loss via fitbit the other day. I was down 25 lbs from where I started. Stepped on the scale yesterday, and it was still right where I left it the day before. Then stepped on the scale this morning, only for it to be up **10 fucking pounds**!!!!! I'm livid and freaking out. I've been fasting, I've been stacking, and I've been out walking (thanks Pokemon Go!). I'M NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!!!!!! Any suggestions on what to do here, or how to rationalize this in some way???

Side note: what caffeine pills do y'all take in your EC Stacks?

---

I'm going to a cabaret show tonight where there is a $25 food/beverage minimum. Keeping in mind that I don't drink and am a vegetarian, what would you get? (Menu on the bottom right of webpage)
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 08:53:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4warpz/im_going_to_a_cabaret_show_tonight_where_there_is/
---
https://54below.com/events/norbert-leo-butz/

---

[Rant/Rave] Lunch with coworkers
/u/melcatx
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:58:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa95t/lunch_with_coworkers/
---
Hi everyone<3

I need to vent a little.

So, I really like cooking and preparing healthy food and meals. I don't eat very much, so when I do eat, I like to take my time, prepare something delicious, and sit down BY MYSELF and eat it very slowly and savoring it. I absolutely love food when enjoyed in this controlled way. One of my biggest fears is mindless snacking.. consuming all those calories and not even getting to enjoy them.
This is one of the biggest reasons I like to eat alone. No distractions. Just focused controlled eating with a purpose.



I recently had my performance review at work. it was all positive, except for one thing. My boss pointed out that I do not socialize enough with my coworkers. She suggested I eat lunch with the group in the kitchen like everyone else does.


This Is like a nightmare for me. I don't want to eat lunch with everyone else. I know it sounds so silly but I really dont like to talk to people when I am eating. I hope someone here can relate. I'm having a hard time articulating what I am feeling.

---

[Other] Feelin pretty fantastic after last night's laxative dinner and this morning's 130 cal breakfast :)
/u/likeits2013 [5'8"| 130 lbs | 19.8 BMI | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:55:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa8tx/feelin_pretty_fantastic_after_last_nights/
---
http://imgur.com/LQzeFfC

---

Feelin pretty fantastic after laat5 night's laxative dinner and this morning's 130 cal breakfast :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:54:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa8lv/feelin_pretty_fantastic_after_laat5_nights/
---
http://imgur.com/6Ok2aPV

---

[Help] Acute, Severe Hunger
/u/bloodketosexmagic
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:27:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa4sa/acute_severe_hunger/
---
Hi everyone, it's day four of eating one 700 kcal meal a day, down 2.4 lbs down which is fantastic! However today the hunger has hit hard, as well as lightheadedness and heightened sensitivity, weakness and general anxiety.

My meal isn't until 6pm and it's 1.30pm now, on top of that I'm going weight training with my dad at 4pm and I'm worried about passing out.

I know this hunger and weakness is mental seeing as I had a huge meal 19 hours ago, but how do you guys deal with these episodes without giving in to food?

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! August 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa1hd/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_august_05/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for August 05, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Help] How do you keep busy on days you aren't doing anything?
/u/iPood_ [5'0" | 101 | 19.7 | -50 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 05:22:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9wy9/how_do_you_keep_busy_on_days_you_arent_doing/
---
I have the next few days off with nothing to do. I don't want to fuck up all the progress I've made recently but I *always* binge when I have free days. So far I have planned to take my dog to the beach, go for a run, do some pop Pilates, but I still have a lot of empty hours. My willpower is much better when I have planned out exactly what I'm going to do all day. The only issue is I can't really go out to malls or anything - I will binge and I also am trying to get over a shopping addiction too so that would be like an alcoholic hanging out at a bar for fun. Do you guys have any interest in hobbies or random shit you do that doesn't involve spending a lot of money and helps keep your mind off eating? I'm getting desperate bc I know if I can't find something to do tomorrow I will end up posted up in front of the fridge all day.

---

[Goal] I didn't weigh myself at the gym today :D
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 5 04:37:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9s2v/i_didnt_weigh_myself_at_the_gym_today_d/
---
I'm trying not to weigh myself until the end of August *at least*, as per my 'chill out and stop being crazy' plan. Not weighing myself worked before (I never once weighed myself through the bulk of my weight loss, but started when I started weight training this year), it might work again now.. I was so much more chill without weighing myself and found I could restrict so much more easily and make much better decisions when it came to food (i.e NO STRESS BINGING!).

Anyway.. I thought I was gonna give in today, but I didn't! That's pretty much all, lol!

*-happy dance-* :D

---

[Rant/Rave] Some guys yelled out of their car at me to lose weight
/u/yousimperlikeaduck
Created: Fri Aug 5 03:03:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9j40/some_guys_yelled_out_of_their_car_at_me_to_lose/
---
I was restricting for a while,but then something really crashed my world recently (my father cheated on my mom with a girl younger than me and wanted to divorce her to have a son with this young girl) which really triggered my binge eating disorder to come back...then I just ballooned up like crazy, and it looks really bad on my five feet frame. But I cannot believe that some people just don't even know what is going on in your life and are so cruel they just want to hurt you for looking a certain way. It is like...they assume I am lazy and eat all day...but I been underweight, I been hooked on diet pills and laxatives and water pills, I cried over not being able to eat and wanting to die after swallowing any little morsel of food and made myself puke it out, I have lost my hair and period and went through starvation hell and back...they dont know what I been through. I hate them. I bet they never went through that shit themselves, chewing and fucking spitting everything out into the trash so it won't get swallowed, needing to pour bleach on food so it won't get eaten, but still retrieving the food out of the trash if it wasn't bleach, but "just" the basic dirt and grime it already collected from the surrounding trash. OH i wanted to strangle them SO BADLY. I can lose the weight. But to undermine everything I been through in my ED journey just made me so mad, that they could judge me just like that and never considered all that SHIT AND PAIN I WENT THROUGH.

---

[Discussion] A poem I wrote, just wanted to share with people who could relate to it.
/u/throwingupstones
Created: Fri Aug 5 02:40:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9gvw/a_poem_i_wrote_just_wanted_to_share_with_people/
---
The hair will become lush
The nails will become durable
The dizziness will fade
The thighs will touch
The bones will become unknown
The numbers will be healthy
The girl will seem to be as she was
The normal girl
The healthy girl
The happy girl
The days pass
The girl is fine
The girl is better
The girl is changed
The girl has hope

The scars become old and fade

But

The society has not changed
The culture that pushed her into the box will again push

The girl will again try to be strong
The girl will again be overcome by the thoughts
The girl will again hear the happy light headed cries of hunger
The girl will again feel the comfort of simple emptiness

The hair will again abandon her head
The nails will again become fickle
The stars will again flash in her eyes upon standing
The thighs will again diminish into separate entities
The bones will again reveal themselves
The numbers will again go down, down, down
The girl will shrink and be wonderful
The disordered girl
The sick girl
The sneaky girl
The days pass
The girl isn't fine
The girl isn't better
The girl isn't changed
The girl has no hope

The showers will again sting


Sorry if formatting is off I'm on mobile!

---

[Thinspo] Some of my favorite thinspo pictures to use as mobile wallpapers, and a reminder that if you're fasting...
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 125 | GW 120 | BMI 20ish | -25 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 01:58:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9cqd/some_of_my_favorite_thinspo_pictures_to_use_as/
---
You can do it!!! For those of us that struggle with fasting it can be a pain in the ass trying to actually complete one. I've currently reached the 24-hour mark without giving in (after starting over with a slip up yesterday) and I'm proud even though I still feel guilty for *thinking* about food. I very nearly had a sandwich earlier but thank goodness for coffee.

[Here's some thinspo! These are some of my favorite pictures and I use them as wallpaper when I need it.](http://imgur.com/a/rdSog)

---

[Rant/Rave] Crazy how taking the long way home can add up
/u/Oyapunn [5'8" | CW: 139.2 | GW:135 | UGW:125 |-8.8]
Created: Fri Aug 5 01:26:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w99fr/crazy_how_taking_the_long_way_home_can_add_up/
---
http://i.imgur.com/qwEsTF5.jpg
When you already hit 5k steps by 2am :'D
Today will be a day of walking too, kinda hoping to reach 20k! (Already hit it once this week, twice in a week would be amazing!)

---

[Rant/Rave] Why is it that yesterday I tried to fast and ate 519 calories, but today I had planned to be a normal 700-900 cal day and ate 149 calories without trying to??? [Rant]
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Fri Aug 5 00:29:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9358/why_is_it_that_yesterday_i_tried_to_fast_and_ate/
---
Sorry, on mobile, not sure I'll be able to flair!

Yesterday I was feeling sick from eating mini doughnuts at a festival on Monday after cutting out almost all cooking oil (use spray olive oil when necessary and try to bake or steam food instead of pan frying)-- I'm sure having wine for dinner on Tuesday didn't help either. So I decided to fast for the day, except for tea and soup broth, to try and calm my stomach. Ended up eating crackers with cream cheese, fruit and popsicles. Today I was feeling much more normal, had an americano with sugar-free vanilla syrup while out shopping late in the morning, and spent all day painting with my new watercolours, completely forgetting about breakfast or lunch. Made spiralized zucchini with tomato sauce for dinner and had a boiled egg as an evening snack for protein. I don't really feel good, feeling pretty faint and my legs feel sore although that may just be fatigue since it's pretty late here, but it just kind of happened today. Wish I could've had this sort of effortless self control when I actually intended to...

---

MY EATING DISORDER STORY VIDEO
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Thu Aug 4 23:39:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w8x5w/my_eating_disorder_story_video/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxlwPZoy8nc

---

[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else scared af to get pregnant?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 21:43:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w8ije/is_anyone_else_scared_af_to_get_pregnant/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Ahahahahaha
/u/pcrnography [5'6" | -55 lbs | nb]
Created: Thu Aug 4 21:19:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w8fhv/ahahahahaha/
---
failed my fast, binged, and purged. I was doing fine and even told my dad I had a stomach ache and couldn't eat but still, I had to go out to dinner where I had fries (500cal) and diet coke and then we stopped for cookies (fucking Why??? we just ate oh my god) then I ate two of those (360cal a piece) then six reeses pieces things (264cal). Then of course I had to purge because even if I'm trying to stop I can't deal with just leaving it all to sit in my stomach.

Anyway, [this is me](http://www.ghettoredhot.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/cutting-grass-364x205.jpg) at myself right now. I hope everyone else's day is going better than mine!

---

[Discussion] Foods whose calorie counts totally shocked you?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 20:56:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w8c8m/foods_whose_calorie_counts_totally_shocked_you/
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[deleted]

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[Other] I wrote you guys something (tw, white people poetry)
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Thu Aug 4 20:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w84sc/i_wrote_you_guys_something_tw_white_people_poetry/
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Im slowly shrinking

But never enough to disappear

Empty stomached and empty headed

Except for the storm inside

I walk away from the damage

It always follows

I fill myself with smoke to quiet the hungry demons

For a while

A head rush for dinner

But I still feel impure

The shower is full of spiders

And ill never be clean again

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[Discussion] Can we have like a weekly fashion thread?
/u/geidi_primes [5'11.5 | 151-157 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 4 19:58:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w847n/can_we_have_like_a_weekly_fashion_thread/
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anyone else think that'd be a fun feature? or is this something that should just be thrown into the selfie weekly?

edit- seems like a separate thread may have enough interest! could be anything related to fashion, whether inspo albums, tips on where to buy, how to look thinner/less thin if you have to hide it, outfit of the day, etc

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[Discussion] DAE feel like their weight loss is less urgent the closer you get to your UGW?
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:53:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7lmn/dae_feel_like_their_weight_loss_is_less_urgent/
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When I was ~140-145 I was fasting for 4 days every other week and eating 900 on the other days and it was so imperative that I LOSE WEIGHT NOOOOOOOOOW but the more I've lost and the closer I am to my UGW the less extreme my urge to restrict harder. Don't get me wrong, restriction is still mandatory to my brain and I still get stupid anxious and guilty if I go over by more than ~6 calories but right now I'm allowing myself 900 a day and 1200 every Sunday and I'm okay with taking a couple months to get to my goal.

Anyone else? Just me?


Bueller?

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[Rant/Rave] "I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself."
/u/blasechicken [5'6" | too much | -5 | UGW 120lb | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:52:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7lkr/i_am_a_nice_shark_not_a_mindless_eating_machine/
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Quick intro, since I don't think I ever officially did one - I struggle with cycles of restricting and binging. I often restrict during the day, then I turn into a mindless binge monster at night. I am not underweight or even thin, so I frequently feel like I don't belong, but I really love this community.

Anyway, success! I avoided a binge tonight. Today was a success because I ate enough to satisfy me for breakfast and lunch, and because I remembered the above quote from Finding Nemo while eating dinner, and focused on how the food was satisfying me. This allowed me to stop when I was satisfied, rather than when I was nauseatingly overfull. I put the leftovers in the fridge rather than eating and eating until all the food was gone. Very happy!

Tell me your success stories! How do you avoid binges? <3

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[Rant/Rave] A horrifying, now crying, blob of fat
/u/Eldritchwhore369 [5'6" | 119 | 19 | -6 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:52:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7lhb/a_horrifying_now_crying_blob_of_fat/
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I've made comments in this subreddit but never actually made a post. Generally I'm too nervous (I got a lot of "you're not really sick you're just lying for attention type bullshit from people in my life a while back), but I really couldn't keep it in today because I'm miserable and disgusting and so fucking sad.

I had a big freakout that led to me eating under 300-500 calories since the first, and I was doing FINE today. I had my tea and my cigarettes and it was FINE. And then I started trying to plan an actual set of caloric goals to get me down to my UGW of 100lbs by Halloween. Three whole months. So after fiddling with a bunch of calculators (and keeping in mind the suggestion made by u/Glitter_Cunt to have weekly calorie limits), I figured out a tentative game plan to lose the proper amount of weight, and drop my calories slowly enough to maintain my health, metabolism, etc.

But it starts off with 6000 calories in a WEEK! I was petrified just looking at the numbers while that's distributed in a staggered way, with a near-fast day and a couple higher cal days, I can't even IMAGINE eating 1200 calories in a day anymore.

With the emotional stuff that happened with my boyfriend this morning, and in an absolute panic about food, I ate almost 900 calories of utter crap, and was too much of a bitch to even purge it afterward.

There's just too much in my head: trying to structure my diet and being sure I'll gain weight with 6000 calories a week (even though I'd slowly drop that to 4000 and then work on maintenance), trying to type up a resume, feeling shit from an inordinate amount of nicotine-- and then TODAY my 6'1.5", 135 pound boyfriend tells me *I* make him feel fat! That boy can kill a pizza with no shame and now I'm scared that my dysmorphia is rubbing off on him.

I wasn't perfect 3 months ago. Not at my goal weight yet, but slim and delicate and below 110. How the fuck did I let myself get like this, to where even the thought of trying to fix it in a slightly healthier way scares me.

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[Help] Dinner help D:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:36:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7ipy/dinner_help_d/
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[deleted]

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[Other] I feel fucking disgusting all the time
/u/imnotofuckingkay [47 in | 68 lbs | 21.5 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:17:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7fof/i_feel_fucking_disgusting_all_the_time/
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Warning: This post is pretty icky.

I wake up and I feel gross. I feel sweaty and fat, and hairy and like I smell bad. I eat - no more than 230 calories a meal - and I feel like a fat piece of shit. I try to not eat but after 5-6 hours I'm too hungry to do anything. So I eat again. And I look in the mirror and I have huge thighs and a horrible stomach with rolls and I hate myself. My hair is gross and my skin is dry and I can see all of my old acne scars. I can see my self harm marks. I keep hating myself and trying to restrict more and more but I can't. But 800 calories a day is making me hate myself for being such a fat fuck. I really do hate myself.

And I can't stop.

Sorry - I just needed to put that out in the universe.

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[Other] Tattoo Thread!
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:07:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7e28/tattoo_thread/
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So I've noticed that a lot of people hanging out here have AMAZING tattoos and I thought I would start a place to show them off, or tell us about them, if y'all want! I'm planning on getting one soon after I graduate, a teeny-tiny arrow for a whole bunch of different reasons. What about y'all? :)

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[Rant/Rave] Calorie miscount rage
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 16:41:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w79q7/calorie_miscount_rage/
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[deleted]

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[Other] Currently walking off a panera cookie
/u/ClownLord-PlebMaster [5'8 | 145.6 | 22.0 | 27 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 16:14:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w75au/currently_walking_off_a_panera_cookie/
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I found out after i ate it its almost 500 calories, Jesus fuck. So now im walking basically the whole town and it's 90 out. I feel like im gonna die. The things i do to be skinny,eugh

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[Discussion] EXERCISING - anyone else?
/u/nymph-y [5'7'' | CW: 138 | -50 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 16:11:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w74qt/exercising_anyone_else/
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Does anyone else struggle with vigorous cardio exercise (like running and stuff) because it makes you super hungry afterward? I want to exercise and burn more calories, but I find that the intense hunger I feel when I'm done almost makes it not worth it. It's so annoying.

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[Discussion] How does your water intake effect your weight?
/u/wanderingrugrat [5'0" | cw: 96.8 lbs | -40 lbs | f]
Created: Thu Aug 4 16:05:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w73sd/how_does_your_water_intake_effect_your_weight/
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Yo everybody, first post:) I love this community- everybody seems so supportive and friendly! It's comforting to know that there are a lot of people who share my problems with EDs.

So I was curious about how water effects your guys' weight and if you feel like drinking a lot of water fastens/slows your weight loss. Of course either way it's just water weight - but I do feel like it's important as the weight on the scale effects a lot of us whether it's a "true" weight or not.

So- does drinking a lot of water drop water weight for you, add it / make it more difficult to lose water weight, or make no difference? And while we are on the subject- how many oz of water do you guys usually have when restricting?

Alright sorry for all of the weird questions. Water weight and how it works confuses me, and I think I'm retaining water, so would love some insight! :)

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[Help] Cute clothes that hide looking underweight, but don't make you look bulky?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 15:46:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w706o/cute_clothes_that_hide_looking_underweight_but/
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I need some tips on how to achieve this, as I'm totally lacking any inspiration, that's pretty much it, I have pretty skinny legs and arms, a widish frame and a bigger stomach where I store my fat, so when looking from the front and back (in tight clothing) this makes me look like some skeleton with clothes even tho my bones don't really stick out, but my curves look angular if you know what I mean.

So yeah, I don't want to bulk up too much with big clothing as that + my stomach makes me look like a barrel on sticks and I already got enough too big oversized clothing, that it actually has started to depress me to wear too big stuff.

Hope my ramblings made sense and that someone can help me, thanks anyway tho. 😊

ALSO I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT BRANDS SELL NICE STUFF EITHER AS I DON'T FIT INTO THE CLOTHES MY FAVOURITE STORE IN TOWN SELLS. (Aka the only store in town selling nice clothes in my price range that isn't the mini H&M where everyone buys there clothes (like you can go into that store and walk past the racks and every second item you find there seems to be owned by at least one person you know).) So some nice online shopping suggestions are welcome. ><

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[Tip] Some times talking to someone helps me and this place is ok
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 15:41:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6z9o/some_times_talking_to_someone_helps_me_and_this/
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http://www.iPrevail.com/chat_landing/?rsc=up_rc_rd_lc_ip_ST_ST_ST

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[Rant/Rave] Fuck this whole day.
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 15:34:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6xzp/fuck_this_whole_day/
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I've been fasting all day after 2 days of overeating. I felt good all day, really light, hardly any cravings. Come home from work, weight myself, my weight hasn't changed at all. Usually it's at least a half pound down during a fast. On top of that, my grandmother (who I live with) is insisting we order a pizza for dinner. This whole day just feels like a waste. I'm surrounded by food, and I feel like I'm right on the verge of ruining all my progress. I can't handle this.

ps: sorry for posting so much lately, this has just been a rough week for me lol

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[Discussion] For those of you who have been pregnant before
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:56:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6r79/for_those_of_you_who_have_been_pregnant_before/
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This isn't a ProED post because I'm not engaging in ED behaviors while I'm pregnant. However, I'm losing my mind with body image issues. I am now at the point where I'm starting to gain weight and it looks like I'm just putting on a few pounds.

For those who have been pregnant, how did you handle this in-between stage? A part of me wants to tell everyone I'm pregnant and not fat, but I had a miscarriage last time, and it was really hard having to tell everyone about it. I told work and family and friends really early on last pregnancy, and my husband wants to keep this one under wraps until the second trimester.

I feel like people are looking at me thinking I've let myself go and must have lost all self-control. For once in my life, I *want* to be heavier so I look pregnant and not pudgy. Ugh, it's so embarrassing.

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[Rant/Rave] The fucking dog ate my food.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:53:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6qjw/the_fucking_dog_ate_my_food/
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On mobile, no flair, apologies.

So, the family I nanny for has this giant husky. I made a sandwich and when I had to step away from it for a second because one of the kids was running around with a knife (what the fuck), I made sure to put it in a place that I was fairly sure the dog couldn't reach.

I was wrong. 😑

Idk, it's annoying. But part of me is also glad because I mean, I didn't actually even want the sandwich. I was just eating to eat.

But holy fuck, this is why I own cats.

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[Other] I don't deserve to eat or to live.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:45:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6p8h/i_dont_deserve_to_eat_or_to_live/
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I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to sustain my life by eating. I am an abusive, vindictive sadist, so I don't deserve to live. I want to live and I want to be happy, but I don't deserve either. Who I am and what I've done is unforgivable. I hate myself, and everyone else would hate me, too, if they really knew me. I'm fucked up and broken FAR beyond repair. I am worth less than nothing.

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[Other] ED + being high lunch
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 106.6 | 19.41 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:45:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6p5f/ed_being_high_lunch/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/46b4aea4cd7443ff828efb80c6270b96?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=88f2fc7cdfd83f8486610a422f52418a

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[Rant/Rave] Whyy do my hips have to be so wide
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:22:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6kx1/whyy_do_my_hips_have_to_be_so_wide/
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[deleted]

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[Other] Weird experience at the MoMA...
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 108 lbs | 19.66 | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 12:50:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w64c8/weird_experience_at_the_moma/
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[on mobile so will flair for discussion later]

Today I visited the Museum of Modern Art and looking at all of the older works gave me the weirdest thoughts. All of the women depicted are always big and soft, with stomach rolls, round cheeks, and large thighs. I can't believe that those types of bodies used to be longed for and it makes me question whether what I'm doing is unneeded. Then I see myself in a mirror and my ED brain reminds me why I started restricting in the first place.
Anybody else have any thoughts on this?

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[Help] Anyone With Psiquiatric medication?
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 100 | 16.4| F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 12:38:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w621h/anyone_with_psiquiatric_medication/
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I recently got prescripted with clonazepam.
Side effects: I sleep almost all day. But I am on vacations and home alone now. I skip meals easily.
But I am slow and dizzy. Plus I need terapy and I think in some point my doctor will find out my ED.

Any advice or experience?

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[Help] Do Aritzia, Ann Taylor vanity size? Hit a zero and still 20ish lbs from UGW?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 12:34:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6176/do_aritzia_ann_taylor_vanity_size_hit_a_zero_and/
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Really weird shopping experience today. Left with a couple bottoms in a 0 (not a 00) and expected I would be around a 4 at best given my current weight? What is going on?

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[Rant/Rave] I was just diagnosed with BED a week after being diagnosed with AN. LOLLLLLL
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 12:07:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5w8a/i_was_just_diagnosed_with_bed_a_week_after_being/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Partly have the courage to show progress
/u/SmaharbaShe
Created: Thu Aug 4 11:22:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5nkq/partly_have_the_courage_to_show_progress/
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Hopefully the link works, not use to imgur. I'll probably end up deleting soon.

Not sure if I want to post my stats here at least, cause my bones are small and I don't think it'll be believable.

I think posting the image will hold me more accountable cause id like to give updates. Not that far into it. Changed mind to 5 pounds til goal weight.


http://imgur.com/rAohKoc

http://imgur.com/Wbx3YIh


Not sure how to make an album

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[Thinspo] Feeling actually okay looking today since my booze and subway binge.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 11:18:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5my1/feeling_actually_okay_looking_today_since_my/
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http://imgur.com/B7eoKXu

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[Intro] Belated intro & my experience maintaining BMI <18 lifelong.
/u/FredMist [5'9.5" | 110 lbs | 15.6 | -13 | f]
Created: Thu Aug 4 11:18:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5msj/belated_intro_my_experience_maintaining_bmi_18/
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Hi guys. Sorry, this is going to be long.


I have been participating in this sub for a year now (only when I feel I can contribute) and never wrote an intro so I might as well do it now. One of the reasons I never wrote an intro is because I don't have an ED and I know a lot of people here view that with disfavor. However I have always preferred the skinny aesthetic and maintained a BMI 15~17 for probably my entire life.


I first found this sub after looking into MFP forums and r/fit, r/loseit etc. I'd stopped working out for about 4 years and my eating habits had changed since dating a guy who prefers heaping plates of pasta and won't share personal pan pizzas because they're 'single serving's. For the first time in my life I felt my thighs softly brushing against each other as I walked and it freaked me out. I realized I was completely out of shape and needed to take things in hand before they got worse. In July 2015 I was 124lbs clothes @ 33yo, 177cm tall w/32-26-35.5 measurements and 19.5~20" thighs. I'd never owned a scale but I went and bought a body comp scale because BF% matters more to me than weight. Obviously with stats like this I didn't feel comfortable on the normal forums. I tried to talk about my narrow frame on MFP forums but was pretty much told I'm wrong. So here I am. I used to avoid any sites that talked about EDs because I'd been wrongly accused of having one by strangers and my own sister but in the end it's the only type of community whee I feel it's ok to tell people my real weight and measurements.



In regards to maintaining BMI<18 my entire life, /u/Glitter_Cunt had called my attention to a post by /u/Alexa1p regarding the personal choice of remaining underweight lifelong in a healthy way. I'd meant to respond earlier but didn't find time until now and since I think other people would be interested, I decided to just write a new thread about it.



Disclaimer, this is only my experience and I wouldn't expect everyone to agree with them. My experience is about a lifestyle and not about dieting. I really do believe I'm healthy although I'm clearly underweight by BMI standards. The first thing I should establish is that I try to treat my body as kindly as I can. This means the less shock to it the better. So no starvation, no unnecessary medication or pills. So yeah no birth control. I only drink wine or liquor rarely and I hate beer. Oh...and no recreational drugs stronger than pot maybe once a year. Yeah it makes me sound like a stick in the mud but the reality is that I just don't feel I need it. I've been asked before what the hell I'm on because I'm a bit weird and I just say 'air'.


The second thing I want to say is that I have a narrow frame. There are people I've seen who are narrower but I'm pretty narrow already. Having a small frame isn't about being able to circle your wrist. Bones only vary a little in terms of width. If they're too thin they'd snap too easily so that's a really misinformed way to measure your frame. The correct way is the circumference of your ribs, and the width between your hip bones. It's not about the sticks you build your frame with but about the frame you actually build.


I also have a long neck. For example a friend of mine is an inch shorter but our shoulders are the same height and I don't have sloping shoulders. This essentially means I have the body of someone an inch shorter than me so this clearly affects BMI. So in regards to my being healthy at a lower BMI, all indicators point to the fact that I should be ok. Besides which I'm apple shaped and gaining weight in the form of fat probably isn't going to do me any favors.



So I never worried much about food. I felt like I had a healthy relationship with food and I ate when I was hungry. I grew up eating three square plus a snack between lunch and dinner and sometimes dessert after dinner tho that wasn't always the case. Dessert and candy or junk food was always seen as a treat and not part of daily life.


Growing up with Chinese immigrant parents meant family style dinners which was the biggest meal of the day. We'd start with a cup (small bowl) of heavyish soup (200~250cal?). Very nutrient dense but also fairly filling. Then we'd get our bowl of rice which amounted to about .75 cup (165cal) for me and take what we needed or wanted from the communal plates of vegetables and meat dishes (150~200cal). This way we learned how much to take to be satisfied but not achingly full. Usually I only took about 2~3oz of meat and the rest was veggies. So really if we had a normal plate 1/4 would be rice, 1/4 meat and 1/2 veggies or 1/3 of each depending on how I was eating. I remember being so surprised at my first American meal at my cousins(chubby) when 1/2 the plate was meat.


My dinners usually amounted to 500~600cal. Breakfast was a packet of oatmeal or cereal with milk (200~300), lunch was Chinese bakery bread (200~300), snack (100~350). Without dessert my day was at most 1600 and with dessert it was 1800 for an active teenager. I was 5'7" by the time I was 13 and I was rail thin. I remember disliking how my pubic bone stuck out in front of my thighs when I stood straight. I started taking dance when I was 12 and continued for most of my life.


Right now, the last five times I weighed myself the scale has read 109~109.8. Measurements are 31-24-34 with 18" thighs. You can tell from my measurement changes that I'm obviously an apple and pack the fat onto my waist. I track my nutritional intake so that my protein levels are high and I meet my nutritional requirements according to MFP. I don't take supplements but I'm considering taking iron. I keep my intake between 1400~1600 although I've gone up to 1800 once a week or 2500 once in maybe four months. When this happens it really doesn't bother me. I'm having a good time with friends.


Recently looking back at photos right before I stopped working.out I can see I looked a lot leaner with more pronounced muscle tone. I think I actually weighed more than I do now so my goal now is to really push to condition my body. In the past year since I started working out again, I've eased into it by beginning with yoga and Pilates, then I started swimming and HIIT Barre. I'm looking into rock climbing now. My goal is to try to bulk up my unimpressive butt and get some ab definition. I have no goal weight but I will also try to lose another two pounds of fat.


For exercise I like to mix it up. Like I said I'm going to try to do some rock climbing but I also like yoga for maintaining flexibility. I also really like swimming, biking, hip hop and pile dancing. I couldn't do any of this if I were eating less and to be able to rock climb I probably have to eat a little more. So, as you guys can see..I have a pretty normal intake but I'm clearly underweight. I figure once I have an obvious six pack I'll post in r/fit and see if they're ok with my weight.


EDIT: I forgot to point out that my mom always preferred lean meat and I do too. I dislike fatty greasy foods. I'm not a fan of fried foods and I don't drink coffee. Basically sugar is my only vice and I also despise sugary drinks. I love baked goods and bread.

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[Intro] Intro Post!
/u/Oyapunn [5'8" | CW: 139.2 | GW:135 | UGW:125 |-8.8]
Created: Thu Aug 4 10:50:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5hkj/intro_post/
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http://i.imgur.com/qnpvk0N.jpg
Hi everyone, I've been lurking for the past month or so and finally decided to be a little active. I just want to put my background out here to act as motivation of sorts.
I've never had a healthy relationship with food. Growing up in nyc to a single mother with two brothers meant that money was always tight. We rarely had food in the house, and so when we did get food it was always a race to eat as much as you could as fast as you could, since you didn't know how long it would last. This has made it hard for me now to listen to my body when eating; I almost never "feel" full and am used to huge portions. I also have a weird relationship with snacks since I never had them around and I feel like once I start to eat something I can't stop until it's gone(who else grew up on "Eat everything on your plate! There are starving kids out there!"). So basically portion control issues I guess?
Anyway, I always have been a little chubby since the foods that I ate were very very rarely quality (tried a majority of fruits and veggies within the past year or so!) but I really reached my high point in high school. When I started working at 16 my diet became basically pizza and chips. Reached a high weight of about 165 or so. Funny thing is I didn't have a problem with wanting to eat or even body image.
After graduating from high school I went through a period of depression where I basically stopped eating and lost about 20lbs in two months. Around this time I started a high stress job (not hard work at all, the work enviornment was just incredibly toxic) and lost another 10lbs. That put me at my lowest ever at 135 or so. It's funny because I didn't even notice the weight loss, it was like one day I woke up and I was skinny!
I loved how it felt to be tight and skinny with a flat stomach and pronounced hip bones (the abs are just me being dumb ;P) but I still had a messed up relationship with food. As my mental health improved, my appetite increased and I was back to eating large portions of terrible food. Before I knew it, I gained 20lbs!
I never really dieted so I didn't know what I was doing, so I did the only thing I knew to loose weight: not eat.
Im in a better head space than I previously was so it proved harder than I thought it would be, and my relationship just got worse TBH. I found this subreddit a little over a month ago and really started to gain control over how I ate in a way that actually worked for me. That was when I was 148(finally bought a scale so I know exact weight now haha) and have lost 4lbssince then.
It may sound weird but this sub actually helped me veiw food in a way that is almost natural to me and although it is not "healthy", I am eating a lot more veggies and produce and absolutely nothing processed anymore. Right now I do IF with one meal at night and an ec stack to hold me out through the day. I want to hit 135 again, and from there I would like to do 5lb intervals until I'm at 125 (maybe 120? Not sure yet haha). I still find myself doing a lot of trial and error in regards to food but the community is so helpful and supportive and it's really the perfect place for me right now. :) I'm sure no one read through this monster of a wall of text but it feels great to put it out there! Also forgive me for any mistakes with formatting or anything; I literally made my account yesterday and have never used Reddit before this haha.
Anyway thanks for reading and it's great to be a part of the group now!

---

[Help] Help w. Booze
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 113 | 21.41 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 10:47:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5h3c/help_w_booze/
---
Hey! I'm in love with Black Fly's Vodka Cranberry drink. My only concern is that I have no idea what the calories for it are. MFP has an entry that claims it is 100 cal for 400 mL. This might be reasonable? The drink isn't super sweet but it is at 7% and 400 mL is pretty big. Here is a link to the product: http://www.blackflybooze.com/our-products/vodka-cranberry

The ingredients are listed as: Carbonated water, vodka cane sugar, wild blueberry, cranberry and elderberry juices from concentrate, flavour, citric acid, malic acid, potassium sorbate, potassium benzoate, sodium citrate.

What do you think? Your help is VERY appreciated.

~K

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[Rant/Rave] Purchasing my first food scale today
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Thu Aug 4 10:25:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5cwb/purchasing_my_first_food_scale_today/
---
I am so excited for this. I feel I won't be as scared about logging my calories now, and more confident. Putting my bed bath and beyond coupon to good use! Now my logs will be notably more accurate. yaaaaay

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 4 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w58g9/daily_food_diary_august_04_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] From "Fasting Girls", on Mother/Daughter relationships
/u/rachelcoiling [5'5" | 148 | 24.74 | -61 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:59:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w57xr/from_fasting_girls_on_motherdaughter_relationships/
---
https://i.redd.it/60axhsbj1edx.jpg

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[Discussion] What is the worst thing you've done for your ED?
/u/useh3rname [4'10| 85| 17.76| -20 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:50:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w565p/what_is_the_worst_thing_youve_done_for_your_ed/
---
It could be as harmless as throwing away food or blowing off your friends but what's the worst thing you've done just to avoid eating?

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[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend has taken control of the laxative..
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:19:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w50la/my_boyfriend_has_taken_control_of_the_laxative/
---
So, my boyfriend decided I am not taking laxative unless he "allows" it. This happened after he picked some up for me (a 24 count bottle) and they were gone the next day.. and of course, I was asking him to grab more.

He looked at me mortified. "You used them all? Already?" I didn't even know what to say. I wanted to tell him 24 lax in a day was bad, yeah, but nothing compared to a lot of people with ED who can take up to 50-100 a day.

So, he picked some up for me, on a two conditions:

- I can only take 8 at time

This started as "the recommended dose" on the bottle, and I literally laughed and was like "LOL nah, that's not gonna do anything" so we battled it out and compromised at 8.

- I have to ask him before I use them, so he can monitor how many times I'm taking 8 pills.

If I don't use the restroom today, I get to use lax, because he is "allowing" it.

The above sentence really bothers me lol I do NOT like people telling me what to do, especially when it comes to something to do with my own body. But at the same time, I know he's worried and just wants what's best for me, so it's hard to be mad at him. And when he says things like "I just want you to be healthy. I love you, I wanna be with you, and I wanna have babies with you one day. How are you gonna take 24 laxative everyday when you're pregnant?" it makes me really sad, and makes me feel guilty. He's really kind about all of it though. This is the only thing he's finally put his foot down about, and even while doing it, he's been really sensitive to my needs and supportive.

But god does it fucking suck because I wanted to lose more by the 9th (Cali vacay!)

And yes, I know lax are very very very bad. Don't take them if you aren't already dependent and can't go without! I've been taking them for 8 years though, and have issues otherwise.

---

[Help] I feel so full and bloated but I didn't eat anything???
/u/fxuk [5'3 | CW: 78 lbs | GW: 75 lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:12:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4z7x/i_feel_so_full_and_bloated_but_i_didnt_eat/
---
It has been like this for two days straight. I haven't eaten much but I feel so sick and like I had a six course meal and I feel bloated. What is wrong with me???

---

[Intro] Soo here goes my first post
/u/bonniestormcloud [5'2 |CW Whale | BMI Hippo | WL -14.8 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:08:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4ykn/soo_here_goes_my_first_post/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm 1.8 lbls away from my UGW but I'm terrified.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Aug 4 07:54:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4lv5/im_18_lbls_away_from_my_ugw_but_im_terrified/
---
After several days of waiting for some water weight to shed from a night of junk food and booze , I'm back to 106.8. But I'm so scared to maintain... Also I think that I am still holding onto some water as I feel bonier than last week I was at 106.5? If that makes sense...

I DONT want to let myself go under 105 , it sucks because double digits look so... Dainty. Ugh.

Idk if I can do this. Maintaining seems so mathematical and difficult.

Sorry for the rant I'm just super scared. Idk why.

:( Thursdays are usually my favourite day as I get to go grocery shopping with my bf and we always have loads of fun...

Argh.

---

[Rant/Rave] Seeing an ED Nutritionist/Therapist today. Terrified.
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 07:54:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4lt5/seeing_an_ed_nutritionisttherapist_today_terrified/
---
My boyfriend forced me to do this. I'm not ready. I'm having a ton on anxiety that I'm going to be her fattest patient. If she sees people all day that have a BMI of 16 or less, she's probably going to think I'm a whale in comparison and not even take me seriously.
I really don't want to go but they'll charge me anyway if I skip now. I'm thinking I should lie and say I have binge eating disorder and then never go back. I don't want her to think something along the lines of "oh you have anorexia? Well you're not very good at it, obviously."
I'm also scared that I'll discover that I don't have BDD at all and I'm exactly as big as I think I am.
And lastly, I don't want to get better yet. I'm not thin enough. Not even close. Everytime I recover I gain so much.

---

[Discussion] One day at a time
/u/YourChinaDoll [5'1" | SW: 169 | CW: 130.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 07:42:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4jyp/one_day_at_a_time/
---
Good morning, lovelies.
After an awful b/p session last night (McDonald's pancakes, how could you betray me like that?) I'm taking this one day at a time. I'm not going to worry about going out to eat tomorrow (although if anyone knows any low calorie restaurants feel free to make a suggestion!). I'm just going to focus on today. I'll have an energy drink for breakfast (10 cal), an energy drink for lunch (10 cal), and another one for dinner (another 10 cal). Before I go into work tonight I can have a piece of ginger candy (12 cal) and a glass of juice (5 cal). I'll occupy myself by organizing and reading. I can behave for one day. What does your day's plan look like?

---

[Goal] My thighs don't touch when I walk now..
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Thu Aug 4 07:38:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4jfb/my_thighs_dont_touch_when_i_walk_now/
---
...and I just can't get used to it. I feel like I'm crab walking everywhere. This is hilariously weird 😮

---

[Help] Any weight track apps?
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 06:04:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w46cs/any_weight_track_apps/
---
You that put them into cute charts. I have Libra but it's very boring.

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[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support August 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Aug 4 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w464t/weekly_emotional_support_august_04_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] Anyone here have to struggle with abusive parents growing up/struggle with them now?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 4 05:20:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w41l6/anyone_here_have_to_struggle_with_abusive_parents/
---
Mostly curious. Mainly wondering how common it is, in spaces like this.. but also, wanna talk about it? Need distractions from my own, feel less alone I guess. It's my mother for me. Gaslighting today, yay! It's so normal that it's just a 'thing' now, pretty much daily routine whenever I interact with her, but it still gets to me somewhat ofc. (My Dads a winner though, if not a bit overly strict with high expectations.. but he's kind and loving xD)

---

[Goal] Finally making enough progress to feel confident to post here!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Aug 4 05:11:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w40jr/finally_making_enough_progress_to_feel_confident/
---
http://imgur.com/a/PvuPJ

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[Discussion] Let's talk about frame size
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Thu Aug 4 05:03:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w3zsl/lets_talk_about_frame_size/
---
What does frame size mean to you? Is it about proportions, muscle mass, or something else? How does it affect your goals?

I think I have a pretty damn big frame - short, squat, and square, with enough muscle to look really thick. I'm barely underweight and from a distance I look really solid and bulky but up close my upper body especially has bones and tendons popping out all over and it looks so dumb and obvious. But I can circle my wrists with inches of overlap so wtf?

I feel like I can lose weight easily when I put my mind to it but I'll never ever look the way I want to - willowy and slender. I can be smaller but it's ugly and unnatural looking and it drives me crazy that the best I'll ever be able to do is this weird lean loaf look, more starving dachshund than elegant greyhound iykwim.

---

[Discussion] DAE wake up during the night because of food anxiety for the next day?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 03:04:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w3nmq/dae_wake_up_during_the_night_because_of_food/
---
It's 5AM, I've been awake since 3 because I'm nervous about eating today. I usually fast all day until dinner, and walk at least 2 miles and burn off some 160~ calories, so I don't feel so guilty about eating a higher calorie dinner (like 300 for dinner and then a pint of halo top).

But my mom has taken off a lot of days from work this week, meaning I have to have precious mother-daughter bonding time. Pheh.

So I can't do my usual fasting/exercising plan and that makes me ridiculously anxious. I can't sleep even though I've taken Zzzquil... :-( how do you guys handle this mess?

I'm scared the anxiety + lack of sleep + inability to plan will lead to a binge and I already fucked up enough over the weekend to not be able to afford more high calorie days... I just wish I was alone so I could just stick to my usual plan ;_;

---

[Discussion] Saw something wonderful getting out of the shower today: my very own collarbones!
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 02:49:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w3m21/saw_something_wonderful_getting_out_of_the_shower/
---
http://imgur.com/0DSKAmn

---

[Rant/Rave] I have to get in bikini today
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Aug 4 00:39:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w37ic/i_have_to_get_in_bikini_today/
---
And I'm honestly terrified. I don't want to, nobody wants to see the whale I've let myself become again.. Oh god 😞

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[Rant/Rave] Coworker started calling me "flaca" (skinny in Spanish). Brightened my day
/u/Saltycook [5'4"| 128# |22.4| -35# | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 4 00:06:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w33rj/coworker_started_calling_me_flaca_skinny_in/
---
I didn't think I was that skinny with such an average bmi, but I guess I look thinner lately. Hope you all are having a great day!

---

[Tip] Are you stuck in a binge cycle?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 23:57:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w32s9/are_you_stuck_in_a_binge_cycle/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I feel AMAZING.
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [156 cm | 52.5 kg | 22.45 | -6 kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 23:31:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2zqv/i_feel_amazing/
---
I decided to fast today because I've been feeling crappy lately. Normally I don't exercise on less than 1200 kcal because it makes me tired and dizzy, but today I went 20 kms on nothing but zero calorie energy drinks!

I feel so *light.*

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[Rant/Rave] I am happy :)
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 22:36:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2sx4/i_am_happy/
---
The world is so beautiful, with so many things to do and people to love and I'm just happy right now :)

I hope you guys are happy too. How is everyone?

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else look in a mirror and not recognize themselves?
/u/cuts-and-cats [5'2 | 115 GW: 100 | 21 | -25 lbs |F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 22:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2ovk/does_anyone_else_look_in_a_mirror_and_not/
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This has been happening to me in the last couple months. I will be in the bathroom washing my hands and I look up into the mirror and my face doesn't look like mine. I don't think that it's just from weightloss and slimming down, my face looks unrecognizable. It's terryfing. Does anyone else have any experience with this or am I insane?
Sorry on mobile can't flair!

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[Other] I bugged them about not having Halo Top stocked for weeks until I walk in today and see this... all $3.99!!
/u/lyxil [5' 0"| 21.18 | cw:103 | gw:95 | ugw:90 | f]
Created: Wed Aug 3 20:12:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2952/i_bugged_them_about_not_having_halo_top_stocked/
---
http://i.imgur.com/a6qayyh.jpg

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[Goal] I'm halfway there!!
/u/witchy2628
Created: Wed Aug 3 20:09:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w28np/im_halfway_there/
---
Two months ago I started at 190. Today I'm 159, finally in the 150's!! My goal weight is 120, what I was in highschool. I just wanted to share my excitement!!

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I literally can't eat without bingeing?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Wed Aug 3 20:03:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w27tv/rant_i_literally_cant_eat_without_bingeing/
---
Or at least that's what it feels like anyway.. Not always major binges but enough for me to now be scared to step on the scales. Doesn't help that on top of this I feel like I've lost my motivation to fast so the binges are pretty much constant. I don't know what to do , please someone help me if you can :(

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They've changed the menu, and I've already messed up today:(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 19:58:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2731/theyve_changed_the_menu_and_ive_already_messed_up/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] For those who are having a hard time at fasting, here's a sample guide I drafted!
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 19:46:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w256w/for_those_who_are_having_a_hard_time_at_fasting/
---
https://i.redd.it/vqm8kfwzs9dx.png

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[Help] What's the most filling meal I can have for under 300 calories?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Wed Aug 3 19:27:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w22jg/whats_the_most_filling_meal_i_can_have_for_under/
---
I had McDonald's breakfast this morning (convincing myself it would help with my hangover) which put me at almost 700 calories for the day, and I don't want to go over 1000. I need to have something for dinner that's under 300 but will fill me up enough to not lead to a binge. :(

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[Discussion] Went from obsessivley weighing up to 20 times a day, to being afraid to get on a scale. Thank you, ED brain.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Aug 3 19:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2295/went_from_obsessivley_weighing_up_to_20_times_a/
---
I think the title says it all.

But I'm wondering has anyone else experienced this?

I want to get a happy scale app to do the weight chart thingy, but too scared to weigh myself. Probably PTSD from my weight going back up to 112lbs for a day lmao

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[Rant/Rave] This is stupid but
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 18:40:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1voa/this_is_stupid_but/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] How does your job influence your ED/physique?
/u/sweetmoo
Created: Wed Aug 3 18:35:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1uzh/how_does_your_job_influence_your_edphysique/
---
(On mobile so will flair ASAP, sorry mods!)

I conserve about 1,000 calories worth of alcohol out of my 1,400-1,600 calorie intake. Since I started doing this (for emotional, physical, and alcoholic reasons), I have lost a lot of muscle mass.

I had peaked at 160 lb at 5'5" three years ago, lost the weight, and started bodybuilding. Exactly a year ago I stopped bodybuilding and started restricting for very emotional reasons. I love it! The restriction has brought me down to an average 127lbs with 125 being my goal weight.

This loss in weight has given me everything I wanted. A HUGE promotion, adoration from so many people (strangers and friends), some awkward jealousy, but mostly an unspoken degree of respect. Sucks, but I figured my whole life that skinny = respect anyways. Well, here it is.

Indeed, here it is. My job is very physical. I am lifting forty lbs+ of product regularly. When I was overweight and then working out - no problem. It was such a pleasure. Since I have restricted...it's become more difficult. No one has or ever would comment on this. I straight up say "I'm too weak to make this display right now, please do it" (which is within my title, love my coworkers.)

Just feeling shitty bc I have like a 40-55 day cycle and I tend to eat soo many more calories on top of intermittent binges (3,000 cal at most) when I near my period. And then I get strong again. And then I feel great. But I'm eating a lot. And how much am I truly burning? And why am I so satisfied when the period is over (delayed as it may be), yet agonizing so much when I know it's scrambling my hormonal signals?

Does anyone else experience this? I'm sorry to complain. I used to love being ripped, and I do enjoy my strength, but I want to be dainty..

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[Meme/Humor] When you go to binge on something and somebody else already ate it
/u/not_an_actual_egg [5'3" | 126lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 18:20:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1smr/when_you_go_to_binge_on_something_and_somebody/
---
https://imgur.com/a/5oXKf

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[Meme/Humor] My week so far.. And it's only Wednesday
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 112 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 17:33:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1kzp/my_week_so_far_and_its_only_wednesday/
---
http://imgur.com/OJsphlz

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[Rant/Rave] HOLY WTF?! Not today binge, not today...
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 17:13:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1hqv/holy_wtf_not_today_binge_not_today/
---
(Possible trigger warning)


I can't believe I swerved a binge like that! I was day dreaming about a Mcdonalds Hot and Spicy all. day. long.


I finally decided to get just the sandwich. I have been pretty good lately and I just won't eat for the rest of the day.


Well that quickly turned into, "well fuck it I'll just go all out and reset tomorrow. I just want it so bad". After work I'm on the way to McD's and I'm daydreaming of all the menu options. I then think about getting some sort of frapp or McFLurry and I was like, "Mmmmm that's overkill". Then suddenly my cravings all undid themselves!


Instead I headed to the grocery store and got baby spring mix, chicken broth, pickles, and the infamous halo top I've been hearing so much about.


HALO TOP WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL OF MY LIIIIFFFEEEE?! OoOo Watch me, watch me. Oo Watch me, watch me. Ooo watch me, watch me OO OO OO OOOOOO!

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[Rant/Rave] I hate being associated with food.
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 17:12:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1hnw/i_hate_being_associated_with_food/
---
My grandmother went grocery shopping for us today while I was at work, and my sister helped unpack the food. Apparently she said to my grandma, "oh, salamanderqueen is going to be happy, look at all this food!"

I know she didn't mean it maliciously, but damn that hurt. I hate always being the girl people expect to be eating all the time, who people expect to be excited at the prospect of tons of food. Even when I get skinny, I'm scared people will still see me as the fat girl who loves food :(

Tomorrow is a fast day.

---

Therapist just focuses on the ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 16:54:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1ek8/therapist_just_focuses_on_the_ed/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Is there any difference between the two?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 16:23:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w196u/is_there_any_difference_between_the_two/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Eating like a "normal" person. Ugh.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 16:02:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w15cr/eating_like_a_normal_person_ugh/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] So I think I figured out the album thing!!
/u/CollegeThrowaway1216
Created: Wed Aug 3 15:32:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0zs8/so_i_think_i_figured_out_the_album_thing/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/8nJdE

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So I think I figured out the album thing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 15:30:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0zku/so_i_think_i_figured_out_the_album_thing/
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http://i.imgur.com/AKe48ks.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] Caffeine is my whole life
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 15:12:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0w6p/caffeine_is_my_whole_life/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] PSMF
/u/iuile
Created: Wed Aug 3 15:11:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0vyi/psmf/
---
I do keto plus restriction, so I decided to check out psmf. I really don't see much of a difference between that sub and this one for some things. They all restrict and talk about ec stacking. Either they're all disordered or we're more normal than we thought ;)

---

[Help] Does this TDEE calculator seem accurate to you?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 3 14:09:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0jxx/does_this_tdee_calculator_seem_accurate_to_you/
---
http://www.health-calc.com/diet/energy-expenditure-advanced

---

[Thinspo] Stranger Things
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:48:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0fzu/stranger_things/
---
https://imgur.com/a/rZViI

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[Other] My year so far...
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:42:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0eum/my_year_so_far/
---
https://imgur.com/a/2WadE

---

[Intro] First post, maybe tmi
/u/FUCKuNSALTEDcROUTONS
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:37:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0dwo/first_post_maybe_tmi/
---
This is my first time posting here after a long time of lurking and reading for support. I finally decided to post today after being too shy because after weeks of eating clean and healthy I woke up with Nutella stuck under my acrylics ( hilarious but disgusting!) because during a munchie binge at a party last night I ate tortilla chips, those good fried ones, dipped in Nutella. I hit rock bottom and today is a new day

---

[Help] Death to Chuy's Mexican restaurant.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:31:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0coz/death_to_chuys_mexican_restaurant/
---
Going there tonight for my boyfriend's sister's birthday.

I live in Oklahoma, so his family is very pro-meat/eating until you can't breathe.

Can't find one goddamn thing on this menu under 300 calories, besides a dry salad that they will all make fun of me for.

Ugh. Sorry for the rant.

If you guys have ideas, lemme know please :<

---

First post, possibly tmi!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:27:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0bwa/first_post_possibly_tmi/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] Have gone three days without food, just want to share my plan for the month :)
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:22:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0azo/have_gone_three_days_without_food_just_want_to/
---
Fasting Plan: 1 hour of allowed foods, 23 hours of water or green tea

Exercise:

* Week 1: Walk 5 miles, Run 5 miles at 7am before work / 45 sec plank & side planks, 5 good push ups before bed
* Week 2: Walk 5 miles, Run 5 miles at 7am before work / 1 min plank & side planks, 10 good push ups before bed
* Week 3: Walk 7.5 miles, Run 7.5 miles at 7am before work / 1:15 min plank & side planks, 15 good push ups before bed
* Week 4: Walk 7.5 miles, Run 7.5 miles at 7am before work / 1:30 min plank & side planks, 20 good push ups before bed

Allowed: Bouillon cubes at 5 calories and zero calorie sports drinks (Propel and Powerade Zero)

Emergency Plan:

* (Pick one)EC stack, Diet Coke and sugar free gum or mint, pickles
* window shopping online especially on Sephora, Urban Outfitters, etc.
* clean my room
* make a list of things I want to do for myself when I reach my goal weight, like splurging on a manicure, get a nice healthy dinner in the city, think of all the things I want to do during the school year (join clubs, go surf more, maybe start dating lol)

Maintenance (every other week): Miralax, Farmhouse Culture Gut Shots, biotin (every day), vitamin C

I've lost about 7 lbs already (guessing it's water weight and little fat), but I'm planning to break the fast in about 14 days before I have to go to to this tech conference in San Francisco!

tbh the first two days were pretty shitty, but now everything looks gross to me. Literally three days change everything lol

---

[Discussion] Psychiatrist said I have BDD. Are any of you dealing with it?
/u/_saisonenenfer [175cm | not thin :( | M]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:22:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0auy/psychiatrist_said_i_have_bdd_are_any_of_you/
---
Not sure how I feel about it honestly

---

[Discussion] Anyone else watch Stranger Things?
/u/Shelbolovesnate [5'2" | 100 | 18.95 | 35 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 12:34:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w01os/anyone_else_watch_stranger_things/
---
I came across a thread where the majority of people were saying Nancy was too thin and looked anorexic/like she has an eating disorder. It's no surprise that I think she is superperfectgoals. :P

Also, this show is amazing.

---

[Help] I need to stay strong
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 12:11:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzwxq/i_need_to_stay_strong/
---
I'm taking my kid to visit my parents for 4 days. I usually end up overeating or binging there for a variety of reasons. I'm terrified I'm going to screw up everything I've done lately and come back full of self loathing. How do you deal with restricting when you're out of your comfort space? I'm really hoping I have time to run to the store today to get Diet Coke and tuna packs.

On mobile, can't flair

---

[Goal] Stepped on the scale this morning to find that I'm 12 lbs less than a week ago!!!
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 3 11:38:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzqkm/stepped_on_the_scale_this_morning_to_find_that_im/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/2e302c1f2430457eb1a691e56b9b5b15?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=407ee93905057f9e77d02e0bd2e7355c

---

[Rant/Rave] fun things that people say
/u/crapbeg
Created: Wed Aug 3 11:17:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzmgh/fun_things_that_people_say/
---
the other day, a guy from work was trying to pick me up because i was too short to see something, and he said something like 'woah, you're heavier than i expected' and it's been playing over and over in my head which is nice

oh another good one was when another coworker commented on how much cake i ate during a really bad binge day

anybody else got anecdotes like this?

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel this way?
/u/jeannieisdead
Created: Wed Aug 3 10:49:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzgzo/does_anyone_else_feel_this_way/
---
I didn't eat lunch or dinner yesterday. Had a boring lonely night so I partook in two late night cookies. Fortunately today I only had a handful of almonds and then got into an altercation with my boyfriend so I have lost my appetite for the day.

I'm grateful for self loathing and stress. It helps me maintain my goals. Am I alone in this?

---

[Discussion] I know that I will be drinking tonight. What do you do in this situation?
/u/Tay-tertot
Created: Wed Aug 3 10:39:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzf4y/i_know_that_i_will_be_drinking_tonight_what_do/
---
Do you exercise more beforehand? Do you fast? Do you just not count the alcohol?

For reference my drink is simply vodka + soda water. 100-160 cals depending on how they pour the drink.

I've been fasting for days already so I know I will be feeling it after a drink or two at most.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 3 10:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vz8d9/daily_food_diary_august_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Competitive with friends?
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Wed Aug 3 09:31:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vz2js/competitive_with_friends/
---
Has anyone else had that feeling where when you and a group of friends go out to eat and you eat the least amount, and you feel like you have won? Similarly, when you go to the gym and your friend decides not to join you on that day, do you feel superior? Idk if this is problem, and I definitely love my friends with all my heart, but especially with my closest friend who is also very into dieting and fitness, I feel like we're constantly competing without meaning to.

---

[Help] What low calorie foods should I get on a Target haul?
/u/Chaosncalculation [5'4" | bulimic whale | -7 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 09:24:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vz1ea/what_low_calorie_foods_should_i_get_on_a_target/
---
I'm going to Target today and I have no reservations about spending a lot of money to get low calorie (sub 250) frozen meals or snacks. I want to completely stock my pantry with low cal foods. Do you all have any recommendations?


Edit: thanks everyone for the suggestions. I bought lots of yogurt (80 cal, 12g protein) some tuna and salmon packets, outshine bars (25 cal and 6 carbs!!!!!), egg whites, 45 cal bread, PB2 (because I'm a peanut butter addict) and lots of lean cuisines that are 250 cal or under (the lowest one was 160)!

---

[Goal] 30 Days, 500cal/day (max) fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 08:51:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyvak/30_days_500calday_max_fast/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] Tiny victories, but so proud
/u/tinyme23 [5'3" | 146 | 25.9 | -25 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 08:45:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyu8j/tiny_victories_but_so_proud/
---
I've been kinda plateauing after my first 10 lbs--trying to make sure it wasn't just fasting (water) weight that dropped--and trying not to net more than 600 cals a day.

I had a date last night, and knew I would also be drinking (I really need to cut out alcohol next). Here are my tiny victories yesterday.

1. Woke up late for work and got written up, didn't eat to assuage my feelings

2. Boss unexpectedly invited me along to a work lunch thing, invited to pay for my lunch *and* insisted when I said I wasn't hungry. I still didn't get anything but water.

3. Was home for several hours before/after a new job interview and didn't eat to deal with nerves (I killed the interview. I got the job guys!!!)

4. Hung out with my best friend, didn't drink anything (usually we have wine), and didn't eat a bite when her bf came home & they dug into their dinner of takeout chicken wings. She's skinny as a pixie, but works out a lot. Her bf doesn't...

5. Didn't even finish my sushi rolls or 2nd drink on the date.

6. **DIDN'T GO HOME WITH HIM.** Guys this is huge, he invited me back and I really didn't want to go home with him, but usually my self-control is iffy bc low self-esteem and impulsiveness :/

7. Instead, on the drive home I put my calories in and realized it was 700. So I played 75 minutes of DDR and got my net cals back down to 500.

8. I couldn't sleep and was hungry, so I just watched eps of My 600 lb Life until I fell asleep. Guys, it's so hard to eat when you see these people with food addictions stuffing their faces, bemoaning their ridiculous and disgusting lives, and acting like children. I highly recommend it.

I was rewarded this morning by the scale finally moving. I think I'm going to fast again today, since I work from home :D

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so ashamed & I feel like a failure.
/u/milly_theale [5'0" | CW 110 | GW 97 | 26F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:58:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vylx7/im_so_ashamed_i_feel_like_a_failure/
---
So, this is a depressing post, but I just need to vent and I feel like this is the only place I can be 100% honest.

I'm out of control and I HATE it. I promised/pleaded/bargained with myself not to binge/purge in August. But, last night, my partner had a late meeting and I realized I had 3 glorious hours of freedom.

I'm so ashamed. Instead of going to the gym and sticking with my meal plan, I stopped at Trader Joe's on the way home and loaded my cart with binge foods -- graham crackers, cheesy popcorn, trail mix, lemon squares. Came home, said goodbye to my partner, then immediately smoked a bowl and proceeded to go HAM in the kitchen. Purge (never quite well enough), rinse, repeat.

*What the fuck is wrong with me?* I used to be so good -- following my meal plan and working out and LOSING. And now, here I am, still 10+ lbs away from my goal and I feel so defeated. My face is a puffy wreck, my legs are bloated and heavy, and my stomach has got a pooch from purging 3 out of the last 6 days. I weighed in at 112.4 lbs this morning :'(

After a bad purge, I always say, "This is the last time" or "I can't go on like this." And maybe that works for a few days/weeks/months, but eventually that little animal part of my brain wakes up again and I completely lose control.

When I'm losing weight and have my goal in sight, it's easier to stay focused. But here, at my heaviest weight in months, I just feel hopeless.

❤️ Thanks for listening ❤️

---

[Other] Requested a while ago, finally delivering! Bunny pictures!!
/u/CollegeThrowaway1216
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:53:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyl7z/requested_a_while_ago_finally_delivering_bunny/
---
http://imgur.com/LzuteVL

---

[Discussion] DAE feel like a fraud?
/u/Skinniminnie [5'3" | 157.0 lbs | 27.6 BMI | -12 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:37:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyil9/dae_feel_like_a_fraud/
---
Looking at everyone elses posts I worry that when you all see mine, you might not think I am disordered enough to be here. Because how could someone recover and then a few years later fall off at a lesser level?

This sounds ridiculous and I don't mean like you think I would willingly put my body through this but everyone seems to have real problems and sometimes I feel like mine are so selfish and weight-centered.

I understand this post is jumbled and might not make too much sense but I need to get this out.

I don't fit in with the normal eaters like friends and family because I have such a skewed way of thinking about cooking and healthy eating which to be truthful is probably not nutritional enough.

For example, I mentioned to my husband the other day that I was going to start eating healthy again and restrict certain foods from my diet to eat clean and he started telling me thay my clean eating is super unhealthy because I dont get enough nutrients or calories when in reality I eat maybe half of what I say I do.

On the other hand tho, there are communities like you guys that have mild to extreme cases and I'm terrified that one day I'll get a comment that I don't belong here because I'm not "sick" enough or someone will think that I'm just here for a quick weight loss solution (which I'm not).

This is the first group since 2009 that I've truly felt welcomed in. I stopped perusing these communities on the internet and feeling alone because end of 2009, I was told I was faking and could have disordered eating let alone a diagnosed eating disorder because I was too big and I didn't fast enough even though I restricted to below 500 calories daily and was at a 19 BMI.

Small rant and worrisome thoughts.

On the bright side, day two of my fast and I'm sick with a raw throat so food wont even be tempting today.

---

[Rant/Rave] i'm slowly but steadily gaining weight gahhh
/u/Triptukhos [5'0" | 103.6 lbs| 21.31| +5 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyhnv/im_slowly_but_steadily_gaining_weight_gahhh/
---
nearly 10 lbs so far!! every time i take an anti anxiety pill (seroquel) my appetite skyrockets for the rest of the day and the following day and i have no self control it's killing me

---

[Tip] Wanted to share my super filling-low cal Mexican, and Chinese food inspired dishes!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:17:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyffe/wanted_to_share_my_super_fillinglow_cal_mexican/
---
So, Mexican and Chinese (American Versions, of course) are my weakness. I crave these CONSTANTLY. So, here's what I did to combat the cravings.

First -

Mexican-ish dish for 160 cal:

- 2 cup cauliflower rice (50 cal)
- Something like 5 tblsp chunky salsa (50 cal)
- Generously estimating 3 tblsp guilt-free guac from Trader Joe's (60 cal)

If you have a higher calorie allotment, you could throw in some shredded cheese, low fat sour cream, and maybe some chicken or shrimp? (or for vegetarians, Chickenless Strips at Trader Joe's are 110 calories for 78g, and they're pretty dang good!)

Second -

Chinese food-ish dish: 130 cal

- 2 cup cauliflower rice (50 cal)
- 2 cup frozen stir fry veggie mix (70 cal)
- Generously estimating 1 tblsp low sodium soy sauce (10 cal)

At this point, I add to the base depending on how my day has gone, and how hungry I am. I mean, that's a lot of food, but hey.. a girl's gotta feel disgustingly full sometimes.

I've two different things to choose from. I've got some mini chicken lime wontons from Trader Joe's (50 cal for 4 wontons) they're decent sized, and help with my doughey cravings. If that makes sense haha And then I've got pre-made sushi from the store that's 30 cal a piece, but I think I'm gonna pop the avocado pieces out to save a bit of calories (not sure how many, but yeah) and have 3 pieces at a time to help curb the chewy-rice cravings.

I hope these aren't "duh" recipes lol I just know I'm super lazy and not a good cook, so these all are microwave friendly and quick! Plus super filling!

Quick tip: I cook the cauliflower rice in the microwave, slightly moist, in tub-o-ware with the lid barely cracked off. This gives it the most rice texture I've found so far.

---

[Other] Binging v.s. Fasting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:51:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vybia/binging_vs_fasting/
---
http://imgur.com/a/WtIeE

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[Help] Need help choosing a scale
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 106.6 | 19.41 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:44:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyakc/need_help_choosing_a_scale/
---
Hi all,

So I am traveling to the Caribbean for four months, and am starting to pack my suitcases.

I am wondering if anyone has any recommendations (Canada or online) for a light weight and simple scale (for me, not food).

I really want to bring one with me, as I like to weigh myself about 10 times a day. I just need it to be compact/light so I can put it in my checked luggage and not worry about going over the suitcase weight limit.

Thanks!

---

[Rant/Rave] I know I'm skinny, but I FEEL disgustingly huge
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:43:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyabc/i_know_im_skinny_but_i_feel_disgustingly_huge/
---
I know this is a hallmark ED symptom, but I just want to get this out of my system.

I get really bloated really easily. Like, I look like I'm a few months pregnant too often. I know I'm just bloated, but I feel fat. I look at all the thinspo here, and I think "I wish I looked like that." But I know objectively I already do (well, not the emaciated girls that are sometimes posted). I have crazy collarbones. I can see my ribs on my upper chest sometimes. But my fucking bloated gut makes me feel enormous. I feel like my belly is giant. I know it's not. But it feels giant to me. God. I'm getting cavities. I'm losing my hair. I have mild anemia. But it's still so fucking hard to want to eat. I had 250 calories for breakfast, and I'm freaking the fuck out. That's a NORMAL amount for a breakfast. But I feel like it's too much. I'm at a maintainable weight right now. But I want so badly to see my ribs on my chest ALL the time, to have a thigh gap (I have narrow hips so I still don't have one), to have model proportions, to not have a fucking gut. Maybe I'll just get lipo. Damnit. I hate this. I'm trying to recover, so I'm making/allowing myself to eat when all I want to do is be hungry.

---

[Other] today's poem-a-day...
/u/texas_native [5'6" | 118 | 19.05 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:35:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy99a/todays_poemaday/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/7f2faee8b99e46e7b2c83a46954e040f?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=9440080a9388dd3316a85a35d783c421

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[Tip] Idk if it'll help anyone else
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:20:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy74g/idk_if_itll_help_anyone_else/
---
But lately I've been that girl walking around with a gallon jug of water and compulsively reminding myself to drink as much if it as I can throughout the day.

---

[Help] Is there a site I can use as a fasting timer?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:05:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy54s/is_there_a_site_i_can_use_as_a_fasting_timer/
---
I know there are a few fasting app timers out there, but I was wondering if there was a website version somewhere. I don't care if its to count down to the end of my fast or just time it, but searching for a site like it is hard since "fast" is a pretty general word. Anyone have any suggestions?

---

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday August 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy4sl/way_to_go_wednesday_august_03_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for August 03, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Intro] New here, hit a low, err high point I just need inspiration
/u/ClashTenniShoes [6'M | 212 lb| 28.8 BMI | -11 lb | UGW 190]
Created: Wed Aug 3 05:35:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy1j1/new_here_hit_a_low_err_high_point_i_just_need/
---
6' M, and Sunday night I hit the highest weight I've been in a couple of years. It was so discouraging because I've been running consistently since April and been on a push-ups and squats program as well.

I started restricting again and it feels great. Dropped from 223 Sunday night down to 215 this morning.

It's really hard trying to balance health for me. I either binge binge binge which is unhealthy, or I just don't eat and engage in exercise bulimia which is also unhealthy.

I was fat as a kid, shredded as a teen, really fat in college, got down into the 140s in my mid to late 20's, fat in law school, and now I'm chubby.

How do you find the middle ground?

---

[Goal] Picking up a sketchbook from Hobby Lobby, so I had to check out the mirror section, just for a quick peak. Satisfied, but need more.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Aug 3 05:08:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vxylo/picking_up_a_sketchbook_from_hobby_lobby_so_i_had/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/c741bded1f7f460ea4d7ab06334900ab?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d7db3e7d825336785d8e1bc11c309a32

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[Rant/Rave] I've never felt so low.
/u/08070427 [5'5" | 127.5 | 21.3 | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 05:00:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vxxms/ive_never_felt_so_low/
---
I was doing so good. Then I had the worst binge of my life and undid any progress I made. What the fuck is wrong with me. I'm too fucking depressed to even work out even though I know it will make me feel better.


Fuck.

---

[Rant/Rave] So tired of purging.
/u/iwillbesmall [5'6" | 134lbs | F | GW: 99]
Created: Wed Aug 3 01:47:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vxdbo/so_tired_of_purging/
---
I'm so sick of purging. I basically throw up everything that isn't liquid. My throat hurts. I'm tired. My skin is dry. I wish I could restrict but I'm so fucking weak and just eat and throw it up. I want to never eat. But I do. It's like a habit. I hate it. I'm worried about my skin. And my teeth. My throat. I keep saying this to myself. I used to be able to fast for days at a time. I don't know when I became so damn weak. I barely lose any weight anymore. I'm ready for a change.

---

[Tip] Have a recipe that calls for brown sugar? Substitute a 0 cal sweetener + blackstrap molasses.
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 23:41:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwzpy/have_a_recipe_that_calls_for_brown_sugar/
---
For dinner tonight I made a dish that called for 1/4 cup brown sugar (nearly 140 calories). Instead, I used 6 packets of truvia (0 cal) and 1/4 Tbsp blackstrap molasses (13 cal). 125 calories saved for no difference in taste!

The recipe also called for 2.5 Tbsp of peanut butter (~240 calories) and I instead subbed in 2.5 Tbsp of PB2 (~56 cal) so almost another 200 calories saved there, too! (For the record, this was for the entire recipe, which I only had 1/4 of).

For brown sugar in marinades, you can also substitute in a diet soda like diet root beer for a 0 cal option. :)

---

[Discussion] Who fasts after a binge to "fix" it? Does it work? How long do you fast for?
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Tue Aug 2 23:22:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwxll/who_fasts_after_a_binge_to_fix_it_does_it_work/
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So, I had a binge today and ate around 2200 calories for the day or so, which is DISGUSTING for me. I was thinking of fasting for a day or two, but I was wondering if it really works or not? Who has experience with that?

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[Discussion] Never Binge Again : Thank you!!
/u/cannibale101 [5'5 | HW:150smtg | CW:120,8 | GW:118 | 28F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 22:53:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwu2v/never_binge_again_thank_you/
---
Hi all! I just finished reading Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingston, after i saw someone talk about it on the sub. Just wanted to say a huge thank you!! I feel so much more powerful and relieved from being reminded and showed that i am the master of myself, not the food and not any inner voice telling me i need anything else than myself to be happy.
Thank you!!

At some extent, it makes me think of two things : when i decided to go vegan and when i decided to cut off all contact with my abusive ex. For veganism, after doing my research and finding answers to my questions, i concluded that there was no other option but to adopt an entirely vegan lifestyle, and that was simply it : the cheese addiction and the change of habits appeared as minor compared to the much higher cause adn they turned out, in fact, pretty easy to overcome. For my ex, regardless of the reasons that led me to keep the relationship alive, it was toxic and i just had to stop feeding it. The rest -all the trauma, all the introspection, all the subconscious auto-destructive pulsions- will be processed and taken care of in time. Same goes for food addiction : it does not make sense to binge when i perfectly know it won't fill the emotional void AND it will make me feel even worse afterwards.

Maybe, after all, permanent lifestyle decisions don't have to be taken with lingering debates and discussions between one's conscience and pulsions. Now let's hope i can actually apply this new feeling of strenght to reality :p

Just wanted to share my experience and some thoughts. Thanks again!

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[Rant/Rave] Starting to realize a huge binge trigger...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 2 21:27:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwj0f/starting_to_realize_a_huge_binge_trigger/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] I feel so proud of myself...
/u/Skinniminnie [5'3" | 157.0 lbs | 27.6 BMI | -12 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 20:41:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwc8j/i_feel_so_proud_of_myself/
---
I've been doing really good today. Doing an all liquid fast (in liquids I've had about 350 calories total today) and I have been able to resist candies and donuts and calories galore in the form of food I typically cave into.

But ever since my husband left for work stuff, I've been so motivated to lose this weight and destroy the fat on my body.

I can do this. Tomorrow I am aiming for fewer calories than today. Closer to 200.

So I'm proud of myself. 45 lbs to my UGW but right now just aiming for 10 down by the end of the month at minimum. Shooting low just in case I end up binging at some point.

---

[Goal] I decided to binge but then changed my mind! :D
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 20:10:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vw7s2/i_decided_to_binge_but_then_changed_my_mind_d/
---
I was on my way to get a shit ton of pastries at a local coffee shop, but, on the way there, I had several thoughts that helped me change my mind:

* I was wearing a small dress that was tighter than usual. I didn't want it to get even tighter.
* There was a new girl in group therapy today with BED. I don't want my attempted recovery from anorexia to turn into that.
* I thought about how I ate semi-normally today. This originally is what triggered my decision to binge, but then I was thought to myself "well, stopping now instead of eating 1000+ calories is better for me, and I can do it." So I did!

I'm so happy. Yes, I ate ~300 calories of unplanned food today, but that's better than 1300+. This is the first time I've changed my mind about a binge. I just decided I wanted to be in control. Because I felt so out of control in that moment of deciding to binge. But I AM in control.

---

[Discussion] I've had exactly 420 calories today, plus a joint-- any other stoners on ProED?
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Tue Aug 2 20:00:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vw6e6/ive_had_exactly_420_calories_today_plus_a_joint/
---
I've been smoking weed for about 3 years, and started during a period of recovery, so being retriggered into restrictive eating + the munchies has been a particularly difficult adjustment... Does anyone else have experience with this? How does weed affect your intake?

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[Discussion] I didn't realize what a coping mechanism my ED was
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Tue Aug 2 19:25:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vw10v/i_didnt_realize_what_a_coping_mechanism_my_ed_was/
---
But then I'm faced with a situation where all I want is to collapse inside of it and feel safe, and I remember.

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[Help] Why do I keep fucking up?
/u/cigfun
Created: Tue Aug 2 18:48:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vvvb8/why_do_i_keep_fucking_up/
---
First time posting

Hi guys, recently I've been binging every single day and I can't stop. Last year I lost ~30lbs restricting and it's been hard for me to get over my bad habits. Recently my ED has picked up again and I've lost ~3 lbs since Friday/Saturday, but I just cannot stop binging at the end of the day (particularly today and yesterday)

Do you guys have any tips on how to see through my fasting and restricting into the night? It's just really weird to me that I'm just starting to restrict again but I'm having such major urges to binge. :/

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[Rant/Rave] I think my boyfriend cheated on me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 2 18:00:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vvnp8/i_think_my_boyfriend_cheated_on_me/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] does anyone else have stridekick?
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Tue Aug 2 17:59:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vvnne/does_anyone_else_have_stridekick/
---
I got it to do more challenges for my sister lol, but she's recently let her Fitbit battery die and won't charges!

I wanna add some of you guys as friends and we can make a special group. it connects to a lot of fitness tracking devices, not just Fitbit! my username is embesea :)

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[Help] What are your most filling low calorie foods?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 2 17:44:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vvl1t/what_are_your_most_filling_low_calorie_foods/
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I'm trying to dial back my Sunday binges and get them under control. I'd like to try and do this by filling up on low calorie, filling foods before reaching for the junk - not *stop* myself from having the junk (apart from that not likely to work, I kinda like giving myself freedom on Sundays..), but hopefully get myself full enough that I only want a little and don't feel 'deprived' only having a little cus I'm already full!

I know tips are banned, but considering asking this is me asking how to be *healthier*.. is okay, right? Stop me binging so much..

So what foods can I have on Sunday, before around the time I'm about to binge, that will fill me up and put me off? Right now I have 0% fat greek yogurt and broccoli on the list (not mixed together :P).. but last Sunday that didn't work on it's own, so I think I need to add some! I'm thinking some big, low calorie, healthy-ish meal.. even if I ate 1000kcals worthin that meal, it would knock more off than if I just ate junk! I think.. :P

Thank you for any ideas and inspiration.

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[Rant/Rave] I am made of sadness and self loathing. :D
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 16:10:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vv5j7/i_am_made_of_sadness_and_self_loathing_d/
---
Seriously, todays activities have pretty much been wake up too depressed to move. Lie to my boss about having a migraine so I can skip work. Fail at getting more sleep. Shower and consider drowning myself. Cry a lot. Make sad posts on facebook and tumblr. Make my fiance pissed off at me. Cut a bunch. Try not to binge. Binge anyway. Purge everything and scratch the fuck out of my throat. Cry some more. Consider trying to cancel all plans because I don't want to get out of bed again. Contemplate suicide for like the fourth time. Consider drinking all of the vodka I have. Consider asking my brother for some pot. Consider taking up smoking. Hate self more. More crying. More cutting. Endless downward spiral. try to purge again out of panic that I didn't get anything and fear of continuing to gain weight.

And it's only 3:00! So there's lots of time left for more self destructive behavior!

I know what triggered all of this. And it makes me feel like a shallow, self centered cunt. I hate everything. I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate being alive. And I can't actually fucking say anything to anyone. I have to put on a happy face and fake that it's all okay and I'm not ready to go off myself. I feel like maybe if I were different, like physically different, things would be a lot better and I wouldn't be freaking out so much but here I am. :D

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[Other] So excited to be 5 days into my fast and my boyfriend texts me this. He's the best/worst.
/u/noodlesmongoose
Created: Tue Aug 2 16:07:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vv52x/so_excited_to_be_5_days_into_my_fast_and_my/
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https://m.imgur.com/a/WhtU1

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[Thinspo] surprise vacation progress
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Tue Aug 2 15:24:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vuxij/surprise_vacation_progress/
---
http://imgur.com/a/cQUpV

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[Other] You kids got me all excited...
/u/littleone91011 [5'4" | 108 | 18.4 | F |]
Created: Tue Aug 2 14:38:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vuoxq/you_kids_got_me_all_excited/
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[Image](http://i.imgur.com/ISkEtyq.jpg)

...To finally try Halo Top!😍👏🏼🍧 This is the first time I've found it at the grocery store. Will let you know how it goes!

**Edit:** Game-changer. Everything I ever dreamed of and more 👍🏼

---

[Other] [fluff] La Croix Wall
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1" | CW: 154 | -13 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 14:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vumjy/fluff_la_croix_wall/
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https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/portraits-of-brooklynites-flocking-to-massive-la-croix-wall-in-new-whole-foods?utm_source=broadlyfbus

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[Goal] 2016 so far...(the blue star is when I'll be classified underweight, and is my goal for 12/31/2016)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 2 14:09:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vuji6/2016_so_farthe_blue_star_is_when_ill_be/
---
http://imgur.com/McOeP9R

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[Goal] Finally, I did it! 7 days without exceeding 1000 calories!!!
/u/nothanksnothungry [5'2 | CW 138lbs | 26 | GW 125lbs | UGW 108lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 13:44:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vueg0/finally_i_did_it_7_days_without_exceeding_1000/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/ca30a65331854ccf8d53495f4828b517?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=74be5abd2ac8e944ea39d2d406ee1823

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[Rant/Rave] I have a new boyfriend and he is so thinspo <3
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 2 13:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vu5y0/i_have_a_new_boyfriend_and_he_is_so_thinspo_3/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Happy going to the doctor
/u/setniessesed [5'11" | CW: 145.6 GW: 137? | 19.66 | -14lbs | 20/F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:47:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vu31o/happy_going_to_the_doctor/
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I went to my doctor this morning and when they weighed me they said I was 11 lbs down from when I went in June :D I knew I lost some but just hearing it said really made me feel accomplished. Now I have a follow up on the 23rd though and if I lose too much more in a short time I'm wondering if they'll talk to me about it or try to get me to stop.


I'm getting urges to binge much less intensely since I went through Never Binge Again and Brain Over Binge and restricting feels really nice now, so I'm curious if I'll start getting pretty good at it. I don't really want anyone to interfere but I don't want to stop losing either and want to lose as fast as possible.


Anyone have any experience with doctors interfering? I went there to get on meds for anxiety/depression so that may affect things somehow. I doubt I'll have any trouble really, but I'm just curious about others' experiences.

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[Help] DAE get extremely anxious during hunger pangs?
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:45:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vu2q9/dae_get_extremely_anxious_during_hunger_pangs/
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I've always had very painful hunger pangs. They last typically a half hour, and after that I feel completely fine. However, since my relapse earlier this year, I also become extremely anxious at this time. Talking sweaty, panicky, manic to some degree. It happened twice this weekend with my boyfriend when we were waiting to be seated for food which was pretty embarrassing to say the least.

Does anybody else get this way or know how to get a grip on it? It obviously doesn't last too long but it's pretty debilitating when it does. I typically try to plan food around times where I think it will happen, but everything doesn't always go perfectly (like an extra long wait at a restaurant) and I sometimes don't have a big enough kcal budget for an additional snack.

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[Help] Does anyone know where to find a certain weight loss chart?
/u/dec4y [5'3|cw:148|25.4|-16lbs|F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:35:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vu0k8/does_anyone_know_where_to_find_a_certain_weight/
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I remember months ago there was this website where you could enter your height, weight, TDEE, and total calories you would eat a day and the site would come up with a chart that would tell you how much you would weigh every day, and when you would reach your goal weight.
Anyone know where to find it?

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[Discussion] What are the trivial shitty things about having an ED ?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:31:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vtzxx/what_are_the_trivial_shitty_things_about_having/
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Not like the crippling self hate... That's been said and done.

Like I'm considering purchasing fackin disposable mesureing cups omg. I'm sick of doing dishes x3 daily. Fack.

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[Discussion] sabotaging a weigh in
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:03:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vtucb/sabotaging_a_weigh_in/
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I ate more than usual today and I'm currently trying to drink several litres of water out of anxiety. I know that I'll be weighing myself before bed and in the morning regardless, so if the scale goes up, I can blame the obscene amounts of water I'm drinking. If it goes down, even better! I don't like to do this too often but I do find myself doing it a lot more recently. Anyone else?

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[Help] Anxious to weigh myself in 10 days
/u/SmaharbaShe
Created: Tue Aug 2 11:01:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vti1o/anxious_to_weigh_myself_in_10_days/
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This will probably be TMI

I'm going for 2-300 calories a day, maybe less..thing is I'm constipated, and I'm worried when I step on the scale August 11th I will still be the same weight or more.

Using the scale everyday will cause me anxiety if I'm not shitting.

Is it possible I won't weigh any less because il be so backed up?

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 2 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vt6gu/daily_food_diary_august_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] That moment when you almost pass out and have to take a breather... Ya feel? 😖 [rant/rave]
/u/frailandbedazzled1 [5'11" | CW 142 | GW 125 | 19.17 | WL -33 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 09:52:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vt4n9/that_moment_when_you_almost_pass_out_and_have_to/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/33dcb5b01f9748fc859372010d4de5b1?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=6f8a86934667dba1b2adf38b7269b2c3

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[Help] Going back to school, how do I suppress the 'boredom' binges??
/u/MermaidHeart [5'6" | 123lbs | 21.1 | 16lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 2 09:30:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vt0hy/going_back_to_school_how_do_i_suppress_the/
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Hey all.

I'm heading back to school, and I was wondering if any of you have any tips for how to avoid eating when you're spending more (ie all) your time at home and in class??

These past few months, I've been working a steady, stressful job so it was easy for me to skip breakfast, lunch, and sometimes even dinner.

But now that I'll be back in school (and living in a city unfamiliar to me, at that) I worry that I'll gain back all the weight I lost (about 30lbs) and plus some!!!!

What can I do to control those crazy cravings and stuff? Are there any real appetite suppressants that I can take nearly daily? I already take Ephedrine on off- days and Adderall and sometimes Modafinil.

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[Rant/Rave] This week will be amazing
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 09:17:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vsy4r/this_week_will_be_amazing/
---
Holy shit you guys. One of the personal trainers at my gym is into me. We've been hooking up for the past three days. He's leaving my state soon though, so that'll be a bummer, but I loooooove it while he's here. I've clearly shown some of my neurosis about food (binging on the weekend before he saw me and feeling so uncomfortable naked) and so he's helped me. Like, i've wanted some of his food and asked if I could have some, and in this super sexy voice he just whispers 'but I want to see you naked later, and I want you to be into it'. God. He *knows* me and im so appreciative of it.

Since beginning to see him, ive not had a day above 650 and he says nothing even though we spend essentially the whole day together.

Guys, i am so freaking happy.

Edit: we went to the gym together and he keeps telling me how much he likes seeing my hip bones through my leggings and my ribs through my shirt. Guyyyyyyyys im in heaven

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[Tip] Found this low-cal yoghurt! (Canada) 35cal/100gram
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Tue Aug 2 08:46:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vssds/found_this_lowcal_yoghurt_canada_35cal100gram/
---
http://imgur.com/PSqZclC

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Found this low-cal yoghurt! (Canada) 35cal/100gram
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 2 08:45:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vss0o/found_this_lowcal_yoghurt_canada_35cal100gram/
---
http://imgur.com/4dcJ8yu

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[Rant/Rave] Antibiotic from hell is making me eat so much more. Has this happened to anyone?
/u/Phantomsgf [5'2" | 144lbs | GW:125 | -16 lbs |F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 08:13:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vsmfm/antibiotic_from_hell_is_making_me_eat_so_much/
---
So I was having an awesome couple of weeks of restricting and I was feeling great. But I guess my past weeks of depression and my restricting made my body go crazy , because I ended up with a super nasty ear infection.
I started taking one type of antibiotic but it wasn't working so the doctor told me to switch to a stronger one. and I mean STRONG . like it even states that birth control pills stop being effective while you are taking it.

Well, apparently it was too much for my gut because every time I take it, I start feeling hungry. Not hungry like "oh my stomach feels so good empty and I feel light and lovely" ... NO it's hungry like a zombie sprinting after food hungry. And since I'm still not recovered, I can't actually sprint to counter the food I'm taking lol .
I've never had this before to the point of being woken up by the hunger and desperately having to eat. Also, it just has to be carbs or protein, otherwise the hunger pangs just won't stop.

Has anyone ever had this happen before?? I'm staying under a 1200 calorie intake but it's still so hard. I skipped logging for 3 days because I just KNOW I went far above 1200 and I couldn't face the shame of it.
I know this will pass. As soon as I'm done taking it, I'll probably fast for 3 days or something. *sigh*
rant over.

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[Goal] After a long, lazy binge weekend...
/u/jeannieisdead
Created: Tue Aug 2 07:13:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vsd0v/after_a_long_lazy_binge_weekend/
---
I'm feeling worse than I ever have. I took a photo of myself last night to record the end of my gluttony. I have so much more energy when I'm not bogged down by processed foods! I'm planning on sticking to 750 a day to lose at least 2lbs per week. Back to the drawing board. I saw pictures of myself last year and looked so much better. Today's the new start. Coffee, water, and wuyi oolong tea for always!

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[Help] Going to Greece, food help needed :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Aug 2 06:55:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vsa9l/going_to_greece_food_help_needed/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] 3,000 cal binge yesterday.. yaaay lol
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Aug 2 06:40:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vs7vq/3000_cal_binge_yesterday_yaaay_lol/
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Why? Why why why why why?

Ugh.

Too afraid to even weigh myself.. especially after all these 800-1,000cal days. Last night probably threw me over into "gain" territory.

Anyway, diet coke and water fast today. I'm pretty annoyed with myself. Took a bunch of lax last night and they still haven't kicked in. I'm at work now though.. so.. anytime.. in the next eight hours.. with my coworkers in the bathroom with me.. lol *whattteeeeverrrrr*

How have your mornings been so far? Or.. just days in general? I guess there's time differences and what not.

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Aug 2 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vs2ia/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_02_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] Starting this morning off right!!!!!
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Tue Aug 2 05:20:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vrxfy/starting_this_morning_off_right/
---
[rant! sorry...mobile. 😇]

So after last week with the whole National Wing Day incident, I upped my calorie budget from 746/day to 1009/day, so instead of losing 2lbs a week, I am expected to lose 1 1/2lbs a week. Which is really okay, because I don't feel disappointed when I stop at 1000/day. And as I lose, I can restrict back to 750cals and not feel so bad. When I was going over 750 every other day, I felt like an absolute moron constantly. So this feels right.

Anyway, we didn't have any coffee at my house but I had my handy dandy green tea supplements which are 160mg caffeine per 2 pills. For breakfast: 1/4 avocado, an egg-white omelette with handful of sliced baby Bella mushrooms thrown in, and 2tsp sugar free Metamucil in water... 180cal morning!

Now I'm at work and I feel great. Have 1/2lb of diced watermelon in the fridge for lunch... I can do this!

I can do this.

❤️

---

[Discussion] MyFitnessPal Friends
/u/gregorrryyy
Created: Tue Aug 2 00:57:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vr7qc/myfitnesspal_friends/
---
Recently I've been having a hard time sticking to my daily calorie limit because I have been on vacation. I think it would really help if I had friends on MFP to motivate me to stick to my goals. If you want to/can add me! My username is: gregxfigueroa I hope that you add me and we can motivate each other to lose pounds.

---

[Discussion] How are your energy levels affected by restriction and fasting?
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 00:37:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vr5ie/how_are_your_energy_levels_affected_by/
---
**Do you find that when you fast, or eat a lower amount of calories (<700 cals) you fall asleep more easily at night?**

I already restrict lowly (around 500-600) but I don't notice a difference in my sleepiness, only my energy when I'm out/at school - compared to when I eat at maintenance. I'm beginning to fast and I currently suffer from mild insomnia so I'm thinking maybe I might sleep better :/

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[Rant/Rave] At my wit's end right now. Why does everyone tell me about how "unrealistic" my goals are? [rant/rave]
/u/sunkindonut149
Created: Mon Aug 1 22:03:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vqn15/at_my_wits_end_right_now_why_does_everyone_tell/
---
I'm not underweight yet everyone tells me I'm being "unrealistic" and going against my "natural body type".

This woman is much taller than me [and is roughly my current weight](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TjcV6BtQAeg/VKU_eZapKpI/AAAAAAAAYyg/mhI9fPlDm_k/s1600/beforeandafter.jpg). She started at approximately the same BMI I am right now.

My fiance refuses to even look at before and afters and he's been forcing me to eat.

Why is it so taboo to want to be thin if you're not young and haven't been that weight before?

I cried at band practice on Sunday and commiserated with my friend who is also fat.

I've been plateauing for 2 years and just want to be young and thin. But the people around me are being mean about it.

---

[Rant/Rave] I just went over my calorie limit
/u/superherothemesong
Created: Mon Aug 1 21:59:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vqmft/i_just_went_over_my_calorie_limit/
---
I screwed up, gave in, had a peanut butter sandwich. Justified it by telling myself I had a crappy day. I guarantee you tomorrow morning I'll have put on weight, and I just got to a new low today... I'd been wanting to lose at least three pounds by Wednesday (my short-term goal), and now I probably ruined it.

Today was absolute suck.

---

[Help] Weird question- pain in thighs/lower back
/u/charlene__
Created: Mon Aug 1 21:17:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vqgsl/weird_question_pain_in_thighslower_back/
---
Hello! I've been successfully restricting to under 200 calories a day for about a week. Everything is going fine, no headaches/dizziness/the normal stuff except I've developed a persistent dull, achey pain in my upper thighs and lower back. Has this ever happened to anyone? Any advice? I'm convinced its caused by the lack of calories, but I have no idea why that specific pain would be happening. Thank you in advance!

---

[Rant/Rave] The 24 hour cycle. [rant]
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 119 | 20.4 | -0 | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 20:10:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vq6v3/the_24_hour_cycle_rant/
---
from hour zero (6 AM) to hour 10-11 (4-5 PM) I generally do a good job of restricting. I follow a menu of yogurt, hummus, radishes, 90 cal almond thins, etc...

But by hour 11 and 12 (aka 5-6pm) I give up. Oreos, veggie sticks, olives, salsa + chips, ice cream, all kinds of nonrestrictive dinners (with my family, not much i can do there).

This isn't a how to site, you guys can't tell me how to change... I'm just SO frustrated with the scale and my body and UGH. I'm not even updating my flair bc it went back up and just... ugh. 113.6 every freaking day.

Thank you all for accepting the aimless rant of course.

---

[Discussion] Sleeping problems?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 20:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vq5tc/sleeping_problems/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] Supermarket food tips for a Dutch person?
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Mon Aug 1 19:29:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vq0i2/supermarket_food_tips_for_a_dutch_person/
---
Since we have different stores like Deen, Aldi, Lidl, Plus and A.H. a lot of the lowcal-food discoveries are irrelevant for us.
So are there any Dutch/Belgians with tips for me?
Thanks!

---

[Discussion] Premenstrual binges?
/u/thisismysong__
Created: Mon Aug 1 19:03:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpwa5/premenstrual_binges/
---
Hello!

A week or so before I get my period, I tend to have less control over myself when it comes to food and will binge on sweets all day. I know it's gross, but I'm wondering if anyone here is in the same boat?

Edit: sorry can't flair cause I'm on mobile.

---

[Rant/Rave] So frustrating that one binge day can be enough to undo 6 days of control.
/u/madamdepompadour
Created: Mon Aug 1 18:40:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpsj5/so_frustrating_that_one_binge_day_can_be_enough/
---
It is never worth it though it may not seem that way at the time of stuffing ones face.

---

[Help] Can't stop binging after getting sober
/u/tokkibun
Created: Mon Aug 1 18:10:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpnm8/cant_stop_binging_after_getting_sober/
---
For the past few months I've been dealing with a cocaine addiction. I decided a week ago to "take a break" and conveniently (for me) my dealer got robbed, so I don't have easy access to it now. Ever since I've stopped I've been binging like CRAZY. I've eaten more in the past week than I have in the past month, and It's stressing me out beyond belief. Has anyone else here ever dealt with coming off drugs with an ED??
I'm happy that I'm getting through this but I'm also really upset about the repercussions :-( The main reason that my addiction was/is so strong is because it made not eating sooo easy. I already really miss it but I want to get back to the point where I can restrict without using drugs..

---

[Rant/Rave] First post here, and it's not a happy one :(
/u/superherothemesong
Created: Mon Aug 1 18:01:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpm2l/first_post_here_and_its_not_a_happy_one/
---
Hi, I'm a lurker who finally decided to post something. Unfortunately it's because I've had a reeeeaaaally stressful day.

I woke up this morning to find a gigantic white spot on my very front left tooth. The enamel on that tooth had literally just flaked off in the night. My teeth have been deteriorating rapidly over the past few months, and even though I've been doing everything I can -- prescription toothpaste, mouthwash, floss -- they're just falling apart and I can't seem to stop it. I called my dentist a thousand times and he kept saying he couldn't see me today, he couldn't see me until THURSDAY (I think he suspects me and doesn't want to help me anymore, tbh), so I went to see another dentist instead. They filled the white spot with a tooth-colored filling but they used the wrong color!!! So now I still have one mis-matching tooth.

I am freaking out. I used to have really beautiful teeth and now they're just a mess and this is the last straw for me.

The only good(?) news is, I've been so stressed out all day that I haven't gone over 140 cal and it's almost 5pm here. Nothing better than a little emotional distress for an appetite suppressant.

---

[Discussion] Favorite drink at Starbucks?
/u/thelonelykitten_
Created: Mon Aug 1 17:38:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpia6/favorite_drink_at_starbucks/
---
I need something in the mornings to drink but coffee upsets my stomach. What's everyone's favorite low cal drink from Starbucks?

Will flair when I'm not on mobile.

---

[Discussion] I feel so bad
/u/Frauxeyl [5'11'' | 225 | 31.38 | 25 | PRE-MTF]
Created: Mon Aug 1 17:29:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpgx9/i_feel_so_bad/
---
I just eated a whole plate of fries and churros, what can I do to avoid that the next time.

I ate this much because I just went back from work and I was bored and alone.

---

[Help] Help!!
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 16:14:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vp4fa/help/
---
I have 17 hours left of my 36 hour fast (almost halfway done!), but my grandmother brought me some chinese food for lunch tomorrow, and it is calling. my. name. She also bought be a candy bar. This is a binge waiting to happen, so how do you guys fight serious cravings during fasts?

---

Progress!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 15:07:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vosvt/progress/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] I had my gallbladder removed 11 days ago.
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Mon Aug 1 15:06:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vosph/i_had_my_gallbladder_removed_11_days_ago/
---
Surgery was textbook, but since then I have barely had an appetite. Moreover, when I do have an appetite, I'm afraid of eating anything unhealthy because it might wreak havoc on my digestion (IOW, send me straight to the bathroom).

As a result, I'm the closest to my goal weight that I've ever been!

Only bad part is that I physically cannot be as active as I was, but this is only for a few more weeks. I miss the gym.

Anyone else have this experience?

---

[Help] Will drinking coffee help me get rid of water weight or will it worsen the situation?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 14:28:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4volv3/will_drinking_coffee_help_me_get_rid_of_water/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] A lot of people I know are doing this 30 day plank challenge for August - thought some of you might be interested, so here it is!
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 1 14:18:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vok75/a_lot_of_people_i_know_are_doing_this_30_day/
---
https://therunningbug.co.uk/cfs-file.ashx/__key/communityserver-blogs-components-weblogfiles/00-00-02-22-46/Plank_2D00_challenge-edit.jpg

---

Workouts for the ABC diet?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 13:58:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vogjy/workouts_for_the_abc_diet/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Had a super fat weekend
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 1 13:53:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vofn0/had_a_super_fat_weekend/
---
So this weekend I went home to visit my mom, with my boyfriend (who also visited his parents). I wound up eating WAYYY too much! I am currently not even pretending like I can handle weighing myself, so I'm on a liquid only fast until further notice. I'm having wine today, because I drove 6+ hours last night to come home, then woke up and drove the bf to work (after maybe 4 hours of sleep?) and I really want to sleep early tonight (passing out drunk countsa s sleep, right???).

Anyway, I'm not even hungry or craving food, so I'm off to a great start, I have 15 cal veggie bouillon cubes, and bought shirataki noodles today, and I bought the most delicious almond milk espresso (80 cal/serving!!!), so I should be set until I can get back on track. Thanks for letting me vent.

---

[Discussion] Anyone else self harm?
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 13:40:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vodar/anyone_else_self_harm/
---
Just did for the first time in a while to spite my mom for airing our furry laundry, and my dad for mocking me for having a 60 calorie lollipop. I might need stitches. It hurts really bad. Anyone else want to share their storiest? If you're about to self harm, just post here or message me and vent if you need to.

---

[Other] Reading "The Red Queen" by Christina Henry. This page speaks to me.
/u/rachelcoiling [5'5" | 148 | 24.74 | -61 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 13:22:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo9op/reading_the_red_queen_by_christina_henry_this/
---
https://i.redd.it/huncz0owmtcx.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] Why did I go zip lining?
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 12:46:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo2o1/why_did_i_go_zip_lining/
---
So my Step-dad wanted to go zip lining with my siblings and cousin. I thought it would be a lot of fun and a great source of exercise, but it just went horribly wrong.

So when we were putting our harnesses on we all got brown harnesses. I pulled mine on with the rest of my group and in front of everyone the guy said "that looks a little snug. I'll get you a black one." It wasn't snug. I have the same waist size as my brother. I'm so pissed. Then I talked to my brother and he was not sympathetic at all. Then he tightened it so tight and all I could feel is my fat falling over the straps. The entire time all I could think about is my fat. I honestly broke down and cried in the middle of the course. At least nobody saw me cry. It wasn't even all that good of a workout which made it even worse.

It was so hard and was awful. I usually like these types of things because I'm a thrill seeker. Guess I'm not eating dinner tonight.

---

[Thinspo] Ellie Rowsell <3
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 12:44:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo2fn/ellie_rowsell_3/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/c7ab1b2ba7c0432688b55ca6317c4b72?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=a34f9665f5cacae19777c0d1bb39100e

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[Other] X post from r/asianbeauty
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 12:40:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo1oj/x_post_from_rasianbeauty/
---
http://www.npr.org/2016/07/31/487926532/for-women-in-korean-pop-making-it-can-mean-a-makeover?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20160731

---

[Help] Feeling like I might break or something is physically wrong with me.
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 12:36:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo0ps/feeling_like_i_might_break_or_something_is/
---
Sorry this is so ranty, I just don't have anybody in my life to talk to about this so it's been bottled up.

I've been restricting to below 1000, the occasional max 1200 calories over the past two months. I'm very sure of my calories intake. I've also been doing lengthy daily cardio, and according to my fitbit charge hr my average daily calorie expenditure is 2500 kcal. I get all the water, protein, fiber and fats I need so I'm just low carb. All of this while I've been in school and working two jobs, my anxiety is at an all-time high, and my IBS has never been worse.

I've lost close to no weight this whole time. I can't take it anymore, I feel like laying next to the scale and crying when I weigh in. My self reassurances that there are so many things that go into your daily weight aren't working so well anymore. My measurements also have not changed, I really only check my waist (25") and it hasn't changed at all.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm thinking of introducing fasting but it's hard to schedule that since I'm working so much and I really love the exercising.

It's got me scared something is wrong with me. If I'm at such a big deficit how am I only maintaining? Is this how I have to live the rest of my life just to maintain this weight? I'm going in to see my doctor for multiple reasons including this one. I just don't get it.

The only thing that makes me happy is that according to my fitbit my average resting heart rate has dropped from 69 to 61 over the last month or so, so at least something is improving.

Has this ever happened to anyone? Is my body just over it?

---

[Rant/Rave] I almost gave myself away.
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:133 lbs | BMI 19.6 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Mon Aug 1 11:55:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vnt3f/i_almost_gave_myself_away/
---
Hello friends - Today I have a little mini story/rant for you.

So I was at a friend's place yesterday and we were playing a version of family feud. If you don't know what family feud is, it's a game show where you have to guess the most popular responses to survey questions. In the game, you usually have to answer as fast as you can in order to go first.


So we were all having a wonderful time. Then, it was my turn again. The thing with this game, is that it's primarily about responding fast, so it can reveal a lot of your subconscious thoughts. The question was "I love the feeling of being ___" . Without even thinking, I hit the button and said "hungry". I was NOT thinking of the social context I was in. As soon as I said it, I wished that I could take it back. I got a lot of weird stares. Fortunately for me, it was actually the 4th most common response. A couple people started laughing and said things like "who in their right mind enjoys being hungry? lolol". I laughed along with them and tried to play it off as a joke.


There was only one girl in the room who knew that I had an eating disorder. She knew that I went to inpatient not too long ago because of it too. Luckily for me, her mind seemed to be somewhere else because I don't think she picked up on the little exchange that just happened. Or maybe she did, but she just didn't say anything - who knows?


Anyways, that is my story of the day.


TLDR: I almost exposed myself and my eating disorder in a game of family feud, but I don't think anyone really picked up on it.

---

[Help] So anxious.. Eating under maintenance, but still afraid of weight gain?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Aug 1 11:51:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vnsb4/so_anxious_eating_under_maintenance_but_still/
---
So, I don't know what my issue has been.. shark week has passed by about a week, so not PMSing. But I am hungry for sweets 24/7, I just ate 400 cal of brownie, granola bars, and cookies.

Plus this morning was almost 300 in cereal and plums.

I just don't understand. My days have been averaging 800-1,000cal and I was easily restricting at 400 before this? I mean, of course the OCCASIONAL binge, but not an everyday occurrence like this.

I know logically I will not gain weight from this, I will still lose, but much slower. Again, I know this. But my brain is freaking out because I FEEL like I binged. I FEEL like I'm getting fat. My little tummy so pooched out from food right now :(

I hate posting these for reassurance, but I really need someone to tell me it's okay and I'm not crazy..

---

[Rant/Rave] I gained a pound
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 11:34:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vnp3m/i_gained_a_pound/
---
And I'm so embarrassed for myself, That I ever let myself get this big in the first place. I'd kill myself, I really would, but I don't want to live AND die fat.

---

[Help] Tips for sharing your ED with someone new?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 11:10:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vnkg2/tips_for_sharing_your_ed_with_someone_new/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Flat Chested Woes
/u/montagemontage [5'4" | CW: 🐮 | GW: 95 | -15 | f]
Created: Mon Aug 1 10:34:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vndmb/flat_chested_woes/
---
Is anyone else here really, really flat chested? Even when I was literally obese I was still an A cup - couldn't even do the "band size down, cup size up" trick because there'd be a giant gap in a B size bra. While I've been thankful for the ability to go bra-less and not to have to deal with back pain, my biggest problem is that unless my stomach is concave it will always stick out further than my chest so I always look heavier than I am. :X Anyone else?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 1 10:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vn7x4/daily_food_diary_august_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for August 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Intro] First post here!
/u/thelonelykitten_
Created: Mon Aug 1 09:47:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vn52k/first_post_here/
---
Hello everyone, I've been lurking here for a while but never posted because my boyfriend knows my Reddit account and I don't want to worry him. I had a really terrible weekend after a really good week of restricting(I think my highest day was ~800 or so. But this weekend was so awful I can feel myself wanting to binge again. If I could fast, I would but I already have blood pressure problems and faint if I don't eat anything.

Basically I just wanted to introduce myself!thanks for being such a great community!

---

[Rant/Rave] My meal-prep last week went so well, I decided to do an entire month!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 09:41:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vn3ws/my_mealprep_last_week_went_so_well_i_decided_to/
---
http://imgur.com/a/80zt4

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[Discussion] I'm starting shakeology
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:48:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmuj3/im_starting_shakeology/
---
my friends mom has a friend who sells it so we each got 2 boxes full. right now I'm drinking the chocolate one as is. not too great but it's only 130 calories! maybe I will start looking up some recipes for the flavors idk

wish me luck. I'm trying to hard to curb my cravings. I've been struggling :(

---

[Intro] Thank you & a (long) Intro :)
/u/milly_theale [5'0" | CW 110 | GW 97 | 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:45:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmu2j/thank_you_a_long_intro/
---
Hi everyone! I have been lurking on this sub for a while, but finally decided to join the conversation… I've always had a short/stocky (5'0") build and hovered around 110-115 lbs during college. I hit my high weight of 127 lbs in 2014, from a combination of having a full-time desk job, living with my partner, and being helpless against “the munchies.”

I was fat, felt gross, and was terrified of waking up one day and seeing 130 lbs. I started calorie counting (~1000-1200 cal/day) and exercising daily (running 3-5 miles/day and practicing yoga). I never had mia tendencies before, but starting purging after going overboard on a “treat day” binge. I remember being proud of how much I was able to get up my first time, and I loved the “weightless” feeling and sense of relief I got afterwards. Soon after I hit my low weight of 95 lbs, I fell off the exercise wagon and started purging regularly to compensate. But I couldn’t keep up with my binges, and within 4 months, I was back up to 120 lbs.

When I moved and started grad school, I used it as a chance to start over. I still wasn’t working out, but I wasn’t restricting or bingeing, either. Over 7 months, my weight stabilized and I ended up back at 115 lbs. But, triggered by finals stress and anxiety about summer plans, I started b/p-ing again over winter break and continued sporadically during the spring semester.

I found this sub a few months ago, when I was coming to terms with my relapse. There’s really no one I can talk to, not even my partner of 7 years. He knew that I was “having trouble” (as he puts it) last year, but I don’t know if he realizes that I’ve started again.

I’m not sure where I am headed right now – I’m working out regularly and eating low-cal, but not tracking my food in MFP (in my head is another story!). I’d like to get back to 100 lbs – that’s where I felt the most beautiful – but I also want to stop the b/p cycle. Either way, I’m thankful to have found this sub, because everyone is so supportive and wonderful! :)

---

Thought my legs look nice in this pic , wanted to share as I find my thighs a problem area.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:37:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmsqy/thought_my_legs_look_nice_in_this_pic_wanted_to/
---
http://imgur.com/PKZVRxx

---

[Help] Starting my first 36 hour fast today....
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:32:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmru9/starting_my_first_36_hour_fast_today/
---
I've done a 24 hour one before and I'm trying to work myself up to longer ones in increments. My starting weight is 169.6, what's a reasonable amount of weight to expect to drop, only consuming water?

---

[Tip] Interactive Waist to Height ratio
/u/_-TAWat-_ [5'3" | 31F | UGW 110.2#]
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmn3y/interactive_waist_to_height_ratio/
---
http://www.health-calc.com/body-composition/waist-to-height-ratio

---

[Discussion] Do any of you watch food reviews/cooking shows or mukbang videos to reduce appetite?
/u/Itsemurha [177cm | 71.9kg| 22.43| -47kg | GW: 60kg | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 07:54:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmlr4/do_any_of_you_watch_food_reviewscooking_shows_or/
---
I recently discovered on the weirder side of youtube people like amy slaton, simply sarah and recently this woman https://www.youtube.com/user/kinoyuu0204/videos who eats copious amounts of food which stops me from wanting to binge on food myself. I personally think she has an eating disorder herself though. There's no way she can eat that much every day and stay skinny... Anyways, Do any of you do the same? Who do you watch?

---

[Help] Big deficit restriction, yet gaining for days. Help?
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 07:50:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vml2f/big_deficit_restriction_yet_gaining_for_days_help/
---
This is my first time restricting while actually monitoring everything closely. I weigh everything and log every single bite.

I'm positive that I haven't gone over 600 calories in the last 5 days (usually more like 400-500), yet my morning weight is steadily increasing every day, even though I weigh myself at the same time.

How do you guys usually deal with this? Should I be dropping calories even more? The past two days I made sure my sodium levels were super low and this is still happening.

Thanks!

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! August 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Aug 1 06:03:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vm4sg/weekly_stats_update_august_01_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for August 01, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Intro] I can feel myself getting sick again, and it feels amazing
/u/sunrisesomeday [5'6" | 150lb | UGW:105lb | yo-yo queen]
Created: Mon Aug 1 04:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vlso3/i_can_feel_myself_getting_sick_again_and_it_feels/
---
I've been lurking here for a while, as someone who had "recovered" from an eating disorder. I'm 24 and live in the UK.

I had anorexia for 2ish years, hitting my low weight in May of 2014 (115 lbs, 5'6"). I moved in with my ex, he forced me to eat more, and when things went south I drowned my feelings in wine and junk food. (Sometimes I think I just like to drown my feelings, either by extreme amounts of food and alcohol or lack thereof).

It's a year after the break-up and I can feel myself getting sick again. And it feels amazing, it feels like coming home. Getting drunk doesn't even come close to the high of taking a steamy shower after a day of fasting. I can't help but smirk from the lightheadedness of going for a 10km walk having not consumed anything but coffee and cigarettes in the previous 24 hours.

Even though it'll be months, I can't wait for people to start worrying about me, fearing that I'm sick again. I can't wait to look sick again. I can't wait to see my ribcage on my chest without sucking it in, and not being able to fit into suits because I'm too skinny.

---

[Help] Worried about what to do next
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Mon Aug 1 03:56:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vlqep/worried_about_what_to_do_next/
---
I said I'd try and maintain at 55kg, and build muscle/lose fat without scale changes. I knew that wouldn't last forever but I wanted it to last for a year or so at least until I move out and I've had a medical treatment I need which is dependent on both my mental health and physical health being 'stable.' This is very important to me and would greatly improve my QOL and I don't want to be too underweight or seen as too disordered to handle it. The irony is that low body fat actually improves results 😑

I'm terrified. My TDEE is about 2100 and I can't fathom eating that much food. I can't exercise much less because of my job. I lost 5kg in July and I'm very happy with myself for doing so but I don't want to lose 5kg in August- 2.2kg to goal and I expect to go a little under but I do actually want to try and maintain.

I'm not happy with my body still. I've got a thigh gap just peeking through but my stomach is still soft and not flat, my arms aren't solid, and I don't have the leg definition that I would like. I need more muscle but I definitely need less body fat. I don't know what the right answer here is but I obviously can't keep losing >1kg/week while I make my mind up as I don't know how long that will take. I feel so stuck and I'd really appreciate any advice or thoughts :(

---

[Help] Beginning my First Fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 02:30:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vli4z/beginning_my_first_fast/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm supposed to be like this..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Aug 1 01:05:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vla7b/im_supposed_to_be_like_this/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] This has been happening a bunch since PokemonGo
/u/russianfrank
Created: Sun Jul 31 22:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkqkn/this_has_been_happening_a_bunch_since_pokemongo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/W7lfQ

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm gross
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 113.6lb | 18.06 | -50.4lb | NB]
Created: Sun Jul 31 22:03:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkpsx/im_gross/
---
I'm back down to 113.3

and ate a ton of food

I not because I was hungry, not because I needed it

but because k wanted something to throw up and I'm drunk as a skunk.

it's too much today. I want to give up.

---

[Intro] Intro
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 108 lbs | 19.66 | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 21:25:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkkx0/intro/
---
Hi! I'll flair this later but I'm currently on mobile and wanted to make this post as soon as possible. I've been semi-lurking for about a week but wanted to properly introduce myself. I dealt with anorexia from 14-16, briefly recovered for a year, then got triggered into ana again (but tbh I'm so happy that I'm back on track). My stats are 63 in, 113 lbs, BMI 20.57, and I hope to be 100 lbs by Oct. 2nd when I see Beyoncé in concert. I'm so excited to go off to college in August because I won't have anyone to question me about restricting :). Anyways, just wanted to say hello!

---

[Rant/Rave] pray for me. tomorrow is my birthday. there will be cake.
/u/turnonmyrighthand [4'9 | 86lb | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 20:13:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkb2y/pray_for_me_tomorrow_is_my_birthday_there_will_be/
---
its not that i have no self control. its that the thought of eating cake disgusts me. i never eat anything outside of my diet and i have no desire to. but my step mom insists on making me a cake and i know im going to have to eat a piece tomorrow at my bday dinner out of politeness. ill survive but i'll feel gross for the next two weeks bc of it. siiiigh. -_- of course i cant explain this to her without looking like i have issues.

---

[Discussion] Do you try to log every calorie of your binges or do you estimate?
/u/montagemontage [5'4" | CW: 🐮 | GW: 95 | -15 | f]
Created: Sun Jul 31 20:08:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkaca/do_you_try_to_log_every_calorie_of_your_binges_or/
---
When you use an app or a diary to track your daily intake, what do you do when you have a massive binge?

Personally, on one hand, I like to know the exact number of what I ate - having an incomplete data set really bothers me. On the other hand, having to log and add "2 orders fried rice," "1 salami sandwich," "8 eggs" under one meal/seeing a day's calories reach up to 10000(!) is as horrible as re-living the binge. For this reason, depending on the occasion I occasionally go through and painstakingly measure my empty ice cream containers but on other occasions just put an easy "2000" or gross estimation into MFP so I can move on.

---

[Other] Let's fill this thread with haikus that represent today's feelings
/u/MymlanOhlin
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:56:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vk00n/lets_fill_this_thread_with_haikus_that_represent/
---
Overflowing thighs

You jiggly motherfuckers

I cannot sit down

---

[Thinspo] 32 Kilos -- Ivonne Thein (2008)
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:38:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjxf3/32_kilos_ivonne_thein_2008/
---
http://imgur.com/a/e5Maw

---

[Help] I have a party in two weeks and I'm so fat - please help me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:28:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjw4r/i_have_a_party_in_two_weeks_and_im_so_fat_please/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Feeling helpless
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:19:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjute/feeling_helpless/
---
My ex is constantly changing his mind on how he feels about us and what he wants to do and I'm just a fucking wreck. I don't know whether I want to binge or restrict but I can't binge because then I'll just get even fatter and fuck up my progress. I want to binge though because it's my stupid idea of comfort. I hate feeling anything and I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I could kill myself but then I'll just be letting depression win. I'm sorry for being such a downer and I try to be positive but I'm only human and I can't be strong all the time. He doesn't even understand fully why I've been depressed, dealt with anorexia for the last few years, why I have such low self esteem, and why I've verbally lashed out. I want to fast but I don't want to seriously slow my metabolism. I just want to be beautiful, loved, and happy. Fuck I'm a mess. Everyone else describes me as "gorgeous, bubbly, smart, funny" but it's just makeup and acting. I'm completely fucking broken and I can't let anyone see it. I just want to die in my sleep. I really hope everyone else is having a day a million times better than mine. Sorry.

---

[Help] Effed up question about sweating.
/u/IWillBeAnACup
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:16:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjuel/effed_up_question_about_sweating/
---
Anyone else here sweat like a pig? Will a calorie deficit make me cold enough most of the time to stop sweating as the much?

I realize how messed up of a question this is.

---

[Discussion] So I found this website. Im sure all of you have seen it but.....damn
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:04:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjsjt/so_i_found_this_website_im_sure_all_of_you_have/
---
Link:https://voat.co/v/fatpeoplehate

Its this brutal website where people just completely shit on fat people and honestly it inspires me to loose more weight. I don't want to be talked about or get posted on this website, I would be devastated.

---

[Discussion] Is there anyone who does low carb/keto and binges?
/u/setniessesed [5'11" | CW: 145.6 GW: 137? | 19.66 | -14lbs | 20/F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 17:53:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjqsc/is_there_anyone_who_does_low_carbketo_and_binges/
---
And if so after your binge do you feel really fatigued and stuff from being kicked out of ketosis? I was doing it and was just starting to feel more energetic and less hungry and I ruined it with a binge -_- Maybe this can be a compelling reason to prevent me from bingeing again.

---

[Discussion] kik
/u/iwillbesmall [5'6" | 134lbs | F | GW: 99]
Created: Sun Jul 31 16:24:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjdm6/kik/
---
[removed]

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[Help] [tip] MFP problem - doesn't count exercise calories from pedometer app!
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 63kg (141lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 15:46:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vj7ix/tip_mfp_problem_doesnt_count_exercise_calories/
---
helpp! slightly off topic, but I can't figure out how to turn it back on. I use the pacer app that MFP recommends and I've tried resetting both apps.

---

[Other] Relaxing and pretty gifs collection; for hard times
/u/mandarinexd [5'3" | CW:99 | BMI:17.74 | - 11 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 14:54:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4viz2p/relaxing_and_pretty_gifs_collection_for_hard_times/
---
http://imgur.com/a/tgtsx

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[Discussion] To those who do low carb, what are your reasons?
/u/SmaharbaShe
Created: Sun Jul 31 14:27:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4viuk9/to_those_who_do_low_carb_what_are_your_reasons/
---
I notice quite a few posters here mention minimal carb diet. I've tried it in the past, 3 days Keto, , and couldn't wait out the Keto flu, when I tried to post on r / Keto about my symptoms I got bombarded by rude militant Ketoers.

Curious how it benefits you and reasoning for fear of carbs?

Today I woke up and ate a large no carb breakfast and planned to not eat anything else, 1pm hits and I had no energy, kind of depressed and strong cravings. So had bowl of oatmeal. I don't think no carb is for me currently.

---

[Help] Costa Questions
/u/amyrj28 [Height: 157cm | CW: 6st 7lbs | BMI: 16.7 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 14:17:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vit3p/costa_questions/
---
Hi, I usually lurk here, but I have a question I wanted to ask lol. I'm meeting up with a friend tomorrow and we're going to Costa for a coffee, does anyone know what the lowest calorie options I have are? I don't like black coffee, or espresso. I was thinking maybe something iced and flavoured?

I'm also in the UK if that makes any difference. I did look at the nutritional info on their site but I'm still confused as to what to get as I've never been to a Costa or anything before lol.

Thanks.

---

[Rant/Rave] Breakup Binge
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 14:11:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vis33/breakup_binge/
---
Hello everyone,

This will be kinda ranty, so I'm sorry. You don't need to read it, but maybe someone will relate?

I HATE eating in bed. I won't do it, I have very strict rules from my childhood on where it is okay to eat and where it isn't. I have a very hard time eating anywhere but sitting down at my kitchen table or counter, and cannot eat with the TV on (don't own one actually, so computer I guess). And this morning I ate an entire sleeve of crackers and a chocolate bar in bed (700 cal total). I can't believe this. But its made me feel better, I had terrible cramps, but still.

The reason why I'm feeling so crappy is because my SO broke up with me over text last night. He texted me that he was home early and I was excited (he's gone all week for work), and I told him I was going out for drinks and he said to be safe. I replied "I'm meeting my friend after he gets off work to grab a drink and then he'll either drive me home or I'll sleep on his sofa". The he flipped out. Said he never wanted to see me again. Said that it was a date because I was planning on "going home with him". Then he started getting jealous about me sleeping at female friends houses. He accused me of fucking all of these guys (which I haven't) and saying how I've been going on dates. He went from "I miss you" to "I never want to see you again" in 5 minutes because I'm apparently doing all this terrible stuff. I'm glad its over.

My friend drove me home and he did end up staying the night (on the sofa) because he was worried about my safety. He ended up getting me the crackers and chocolate this morning because my stomach hurt so much I couldn't stand.

But good riddance to him. Now I won't get sucked into his terrible diets, have to put up with his high ass all the time (no offence to those who smoke), or deal with his drama. Maybe once these damn period cramps subside it will give me motivation not to eat. So I can be thin for whatever unlucky man I'll inevitably find.

Sorry, end of rant. Hope everyone else's weekends are going way better than mine!

---

[Discussion] Are you still susceptible to hair loss if you don't get enough calories but you do get enough nutrients?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 31 13:55:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vipjt/are_you_still_susceptible_to_hair_loss_if_you/
---
I lurk on my main account so I made a throwaway to post here, so hi everyone!!

I really need to lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks... I'm home most of the day and I have an exercise bike so I am basically gluing my fat ass to that for most of the day so I'm hoping to be burning a lot. I'm eating just under 1,000 calories a day... ~55g protein, ~70g fat, and I try to keep carbs as low as possible. I just started taking a multivitamin, fish oil, and hair skin & nails vitamin.

I'm really worried about hair loss... I already lost a lot of my hair from hardcore restriction the 2 years before last, and my hair was pretty much the only thing I liked about myself. So, will hair loss still happen if I don't get enough calories but I get enough nutrients and vitamins?

---

[Other] Do any of you guys make Fashion inspo albums?
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 13:08:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vihup/do_any_of_you_guys_make_fashion_inspo_albums/
---
I don't make thinspo albums, but I LOVEEEE fall/winter so I make a ton of fashion inspo! Mine is on [google](https://goo.gl/photos/CmAEBfaUgSJWxV4Y7) if you guys want to see. I tried to put it on imgur but some of the images don't download right.

Share yours if you have one! :)

---

[Tip] [TIP] Tasty alternative for those of us who are avoiding soy, and aren't a fan of cashew milk
/u/TopCat1392 [5'3.5" | 111.4 | 19.88 | -26.6 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 12:33:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vibyd/tip_tasty_alternative_for_those_of_us_who_are/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/THv6U

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Unfortunately true:'( (x post r/fatlogic)
/u/whereismymindd_
Created: Sun Jul 31 12:07:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vi7rr/unfortunately_true_x_post_rfatlogic/
---
http://imgur.com/3QSRBGm.jpg

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[Help] Please help me. Am I even making progress? Imgur album in text
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 31 11:54:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vi5p4/please_help_me_am_i_even_making_progress_imgur/
---
[removed]

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[Help] Soooo hungry. Help.
/u/tinyme23 [5'3" | 146 | 25.9 | -25 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 11:48:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vi4ml/soooo_hungry_help/
---
All my tricks aren't working today. I've managed to drop 10 lbs this month--big whoop. I'm so huge it should have been more.

My stomach won't shut up. Browsing v/fph isn't working. Watching SuperSize vs SuperSkinny isn't working. I had a box of frozen artichoke hearts for lunch an hour ago and I'm still crazy hungry.

Gimme your tips, lovelies.

---

Am I even making progress? Older to newer left to right
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 31 11:44:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vi40k/am_i_even_making_progress_older_to_newer_left_to/
---
http://imgur.com/a/7ufbJ

---

[Discussion] Keep yourself busy for days! An interesting and in-depth reading about weight gain and weight loss, which focuses on today's obesity epidemic, insulin resistance, low-calorie diets, and how at the end of the day the best approach is: fasting.
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Sun Jul 31 10:45:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vhubu/keep_yourself_busy_for_days_an_interesting_and/
---
https://intensivedietarymanagement.com/how-do-we-gain-weight-calories-part-1/


This is the first post in a 3 year blog by a doctor who promotes fasting as a way of living. I read this in its entirety over my first five day fast. (Just click next post button at the bottom of each page repeatedly to follow it in order!) It truly was fascinating. Some posts focus on diabetes, which I merely skimmed over but for the most part it all was relative to me by some degree. He's also repetitive over the series but I think this just helped reinforce a lot of the ideas and information by the end of it. Hope you enjoy!

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 31 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vhnva/daily_food_diary_july_31_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 31, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] What's on your shopping list for this week/August goals?
/u/thinismygame [5'6" | 148 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 09:32:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vhjbd/whats_on_your_shopping_list_for_this_weekaugust/
---
Sunday is like the universal shopping day, right? At least for me :)

I also love shopping for the new month. Clean slate. My goals for August = get ready for my friends wedding. I've got 8 weeks exactly starting tomorrow!!

My shopping list:

sugar free jello (10 cals!)

Greek yogurt

Eggs

Shit ton of Powerade zero & diet cokes

Strawberries!!

P3 snack box things


Trying to also add more protein in so I feel fuller. So proed, what's on your shopping list this week?

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[Discussion] Just want opinions/support
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 09:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vhh9o/just_want_opinionssupport/
---
What do you think the ideal weight is for 5'4"? I'm thinking of dropping to 95 lbs but I'm just not sure of myself honestly. Also how quickly do you guys think I'd be able to get to that weight? I eat under 500 calories and under 15 carbs everyday. I exercise a little ( hour walk every night and dancing around the house haha). I find it really hard to even imagine myself as skinny but I refuse to stay this way, I'm tired of being depressed about my appearance. I'm counting calories in my head but I never count incorrectly. I can't download my fitness pal or anything like that either because my ex has access to my Apple ID and we're currently working things out between us and I don't want him to see that I'm going back downhill. The first time he saw how truly bad I was he'd cry everyday and I really don't want to mess it up again this time. I really look forward to hearing your opinions. Thank you guys, you're what's kept me on track.

---

[Rant/Rave] my stepmum threw my food out
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Sun Jul 31 08:27:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vha31/my_stepmum_threw_my_food_out/
---
I'd bought a packet of chocolate chips with my own money. I meal plan and went to use them today (and I only opened them yesterday) and they were gone. When I asked her where they'd been moved to, she went to the wheelie bin outside and pulled them out and said they were still good to eat.

If they were bad enough to throw out, why are they good enough to eat **after** they've been sat in a wheelie bin all morning? I feel sick.

---

[Discussion] [Trigger] Who else plans to b/p today?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 31 07:56:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vh5xk/trigger_who_else_plans_to_bp_today/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] [Trigger Warning] What are your favorite binge foods?
/u/iggystarlust
Created: Sun Jul 31 07:33:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vh33f/trigger_warning_what_are_your_favorite_binge_foods/
---
I have BED (Binge Eating Disorder) so I unfortunately have a lot of favorite binge foods. My go-to treats are:

• Oreos

• Peanut butter & Jelly

• Nutella

• Ice cream

• Cookies

• Brownies

• Cake

• Doughnuts

• Chips and Queso

• Fritos

• Flipz White Fudge Covered Pretzels

• Milkshakes

• Fried Chicken

• Tater tots

What foods do you binge on?

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[Rant/Rave] So terrified that I'm not losing fast enough.
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Sun Jul 31 07:25:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vh23t/so_terrified_that_im_not_losing_fast_enough/
---
I'm going back to school soon. Still so much bigger than what I want to be. I'm losing so slowly. Eating very little leaves me with no energy to work-out, working out a lot increases my appetite, I love drinking too much and need to drink to forget about things, and I just am not okay with harder drugs that have no calories. This is so terrifying. I need to be smaller in a month and I'm a huge pig.

---

[Rant/Rave] When they put cream in your coffee and you're too chicken to ask for a new one :|
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 06:46:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vgxq1/when_they_put_cream_in_your_coffee_and_youre_too/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vgxq1/when_they_put_cream_in_your_coffee_and_youre_too/

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[Rant/Rave] Philosophy About Recovery
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 04:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vgiav/philosophy_about_recovery/
---
I have the right to choose to not eat, because I've calculated it will make me happier. It makes me angry when people tell me that I'm too mentally ill to have the autonomy to make my own decisions. Yes, I have a mental illness, but that's not a good reason to act as though my anorexia is a separate entity from me. Maybe for some people, it helps to externalize their 'Ed'. But it doesn't make sense to me that I should be ashamed and unable to say, to people who are supposed to encourage an honest discourse, that I want to consider the possibility of lowering my body weight further.

I'm 5'6", 113lb. I don't think my body dysphoria would make me think I'm fat at 103. Should I not trust this? I'm concerned I mostly hear the narrative of people who have made the mistake of believing their ED won't severely hurt their life, and were wrong. But is it so crazy to suspect that it's possible for some people to maintain a low body weight without putting themselves in danger?

I'm completely convinced I won't go too far. Do you think that's naive?

---

[Tip] greatest appetite suppressant
/u/Sighgal
Created: Sun Jul 31 02:59:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vgcpd/greatest_appetite_suppressant/
---
Extreme emotional distress

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[Rant/Rave] I just need to vent - feel free to ignore
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 31 01:36:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vg5pz/i_just_need_to_vent_feel_free_to_ignore/
---
[deleted]

---

[Intro] Hellooooooo!
/u/cannibale101 [5'5 | HW:150smtg | CW:120,8 | GW:118 | 28F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 00:15:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfyr3/hellooooooo/
---
Hi! Since there's often questions/thoughts i want to share with this community, I think it's time i properly introduce myself to you all.
So hello! I live in Montreal (Qc, Canada) and i'm a 28 year-old french speaking, hoping-to-be sociology teacher. About 10-12 years ago i went full ED for the first time (ana then ana/mia). At the time I was still living with my personality-disordered mother, dating an extremely abusive guy, going to school full-time and also working full-time to pay rent because my mom was too busy suing everybody (:-/). Then the guy and i broke up, i moved out of the city, lost contact with my mother, tried to kill myself, recontacted and re-broke up with the abusive guy, and eventually managed to get my shit together : learned how to build healthy relationships and to accept/live with my own demons (they'll never leave completely and i learned to be ok with them, sort of).

So i kind of recovered for a few years, met my current (amazing) boyfriend, finished school, got hired by a great college in a great city : my life seemed to finally go somewhere. Then the semester ended a few months ago and they didn't have enough work for one more teacher in my field for next year ; i moved back to Mtl and i feel like i'm back to being nobody, broke and incapable of adulting properly. My old feelings of hate towards my own emotional needs came back in a rush. I started restricting and over-exercising again, going more and more heavily at it in an attempt to regain some sense of control over my life. Now my relapse is also starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend and i'm afraid i'll lose him, even though he's extremely understanding and supportive. I'm isolating myself from my friends, too.
I went from a teenage victim of constant abuse to a "healthy, self-aware, responsible and soon-to-be successful young adult" to a relapsed emotional mess + minimum wage worker overwhelmed by student loans. Last week, the emotional and physical restriction became too much for what i could take so i fell into a huge, uncontrollable binge phase that i still don't know how to stop nor manage. These days i'm questioning my own ability to actually lead an average, minimally stable life.

So yeah, i think that's about it as far as EDs are concerned :) Other than that i apologize a lot (maybe too much, like many people), i get very easily distracted, i'm a feminist, vegan militant and overall SJW who tends to take things pretty seriously so sometimes i need to be reminded to lighten up a little and that not everything has to be serious :p I love singing and playing music and i'm addicted to running even though we have terrible knees in my family. Pleased to meet you all and i hope my contribution to this sub will be helpful and positive!

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[Other] Weekly Calorie intake
/u/kaitquetal
Created: Sat Jul 30 22:46:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfpqw/weekly_calorie_intake/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/2328ce5fc6b64099a7c54be639648362?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=50869bc8c5c66737e73912407ba8807d

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[Other] My day of binge/purging today video
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Sat Jul 30 22:13:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfm1d/my_day_of_bingepurging_today_video/
---
https://youtu.be/XBfIHxdkgrA

---

[Thinspo] Just remember keep going
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 21:24:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfg24/just_remember_keep_going/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/dbaac72bb01d4b5a96fc67ac4e966aae?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=5e8957f3c1e34e731e240724528b3e62

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I'm afraid of gaining when I weight tmrw, but in sure a lot of u feel the same. Just keep going we will get through this
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 30 21:23:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vffz9/im_afraid_of_gaining_when_i_weight_tmrw_but_in/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/68c3036cab7b4c69ba0241b49c8c848a?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=f3e94213fee7da51f007a3bceb85f16a

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[Goal] Small victory
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 20:34:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfa0i/small_victory/
---
I'm down 14lbs since I started Vyvanse at the beginning of this month. I should be happier, but I still have so much left lose. And I over ate today.

Plus I'm still pretty upset about being suddenly dropped by my therapist. No warning, no last appointment for closure, no reply my text, nothing. It's really screwing with my head.

I also feel like an imposter here. I have binge eating disorder and I tend to binge and restrict. I have had foods issues since high school, but I had a few year period where i had it together. Everyone here is so thin and I'm fat and old.

On mobile, can't flair

---

[Discussion] Negative calorie foods?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 30 20:32:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vf9pd/negative_calorie_foods/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] What do you guys do to distract yourself from eating?
/u/ClownLord-PlebMaster [5'8 | 145.6 | 22.0 | 27 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 19:58:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vf5a0/what_do_you_guys_do_to_distract_yourself_from/
---
I had a terrible binge yesterday and ate a whole box of chips ahoy cookies and three sandwiches. I'd been going good for a month and i fucked it up because i was bored. Im still in school and don't have a job so since its summer im home alone in a house full of food all day and its the worst. Any ideas for keeping myself busy when im hungry?

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Fucked up my "no binge" streak
/u/mynameisninabanana
Created: Sat Jul 30 19:30:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vf1kh/rant_fucked_up_my_no_binge_streak/
---
13 days. 13 days without binging only to fuck it all up. I can't even remember what I ate. I stuffed so much stuff down my throat that I don't even remember what they were.

I was so close to a new low, too. Just 1.8 lbs away. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It's going to suck updating my journal. Ugly pages with big numbers. Ugh.

Fasting today. A new day. Pick myself up and move forward, that's how we do it, right?

Hope everyone is having a better day, and whoever isn't, we'll do better tomorrow. A new week. A new month. I'll be okay. I'll be fine. I'll get there. All of us will. <3

---

[Rant/Rave] Dumb rant, sorry; lets talk about cartoons!
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 160 | 24.3 | 14 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 18:48:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vevv4/dumb_rant_sorry_lets_talk_about_cartoons/
---
I posted a while ago about how Pearl from Steven Universe was my thinspo, and lately I've been b/P and putting on a lot of weight. I just got my boyfriend into SU and told him Pearl is my favorite and I want to cosplay her so badly at an upcoming con and how perfect/beautiful/etc she is and he just "Hmm, I dunno, you're much more of an amethyst I think"

Looks like it's fasting time again: I have two weeks before the convention and i couldn't POSSIBLY do pearl now, but at least if I eat under 300 calories every day until then maybe I won't be such a disgusting pig.

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[Rant/Rave] Is a quarter life crisis a thing? Sorry for negative rant!
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 18:38:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4veuig/is_a_quarter_life_crisis_a_thing_sorry_for/
---
I'm sorry I feel like I post so much negativity here but I'm not sure I trust anyone enough to actually vent. Here I am turning 20 on monday. I fasted for almost 4 days then binged and purged these last two. I'm not skinny, I'm not happy, and I have no real friends other than guys who want to sleep with me and my mom. I'm too flaky and unstable to keep friends. I always thought as I child that 20 means you're an adult, you travel and get together for coffee with friends and have your shit together. Instead I'm alone cleaning my puke off my shoes and crying at all the food I ate.

I don't care about the rest if I was actually skinny but I'm not happy about myself physically, socially, or mentally. I just want to hide in my apartment with my pets and never leave.

And best of all I get to stay the weekend with my mom meaning binging and no purging for 2 days.... kill me guys...

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[Help] Help! How do you stop feeling so cold on a deficit?
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 18:16:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4verld/help_how_do_you_stop_feeling_so_cold_on_a_deficit/
---
Honestly, the hardest thing for me when restricting is how cold I get eventually. Does anyone else get this? It gets to the point where I can't even sleep I get so cold. Are upping my calories my only option to avoid this?

Thanks!

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[Rant/Rave] [rant] RESTAURANT BREAKFAST
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Sat Jul 30 17:57:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4veowx/rant_restaurant_breakfast/
---
They fried the egg whites in bacon grease. The toast was soaked through to the bottom with butter. My coffee had whole cream in it.

Please, for the love of god, let me enjoy the little things. Like 200, not 900, calorie breakfast.

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[Help] Vegans - care to share some low calorie, high protein recipes with me. Pretty please?
/u/imnotofuckingkay [47 in | 68 lbs | 21.5 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 17:12:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4veikp/vegans_care_to_share_some_low_calorie_high/
---
Preferably with no tofu / fake meat as I can't really stand either of those things.

Thanks guys!

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[Rant/Rave] anyone else have trouble purging?
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 16:55:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4veg4m/anyone_else_have_trouble_purging/
---
i can never do it right. for some reason the finger down the throat method doesn't work for me, which makes no sense because i have the world's worst gag reflex.
the only thing that works is if i force myself to keep gagging until i throw up, which barely results in anything. i feel like i haven't even purged. like for example, i ate a pizza for dinner (weight watchers, 380 cals- way too much for dinner) and then tried to purge immediately afterwards. i threw up mostly water and probably not even 1/4 of the pizza.
i'm not asking for advice because i know that's not allowed here, but just wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing. it's incredibly frustrating. i can just feel my body absorbing all the calories.

---

[Discussion] parent problems
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Sat Jul 30 15:10:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ve0aw/parent_problems/
---
so... i had a nine mile long run with my team this morning. sooooo that put me in a big deficit for eating. had a good hearty pretty dense breakfast- ik its weird but i dont count calories its too much haha. then came home and went to the beach at the beach i ate a sandwich and some fruit. my dad gave me a powerade but it wasnt a zero and its full of sugar so i didnt drink it, then when i got home i dumped it in the sink and he somehow knew i did and confronted me about it. he says we now have a "huge problem" and if i lose weight by the end of the summer i wont be able to run- that would suck a lot cuz 1) love it and 2) i could win the state championship this year. im so scared if i lose weight but im also so scared to eat.

EDIT: forgot to mention- they know about my ED which ive had for about four years now. i have like 3 month weight checks at the doctors.

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[Rant/Rave] Stuck at the same weight for the past week and half, literally going to cry at work.
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 14:53:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdxsi/stuck_at_the_same_weight_for_the_past_week_and/
---
Mobile, will flair later. I just need to rant. I weigh myself everyday and I'm getting so desperate. I'm purging everyday for the last 4-5 days but it's so hard, only 1/4 of it comes out then I cry in bed until I fall asleep. I also take laxatives but Its not working. And this is bad because I have finals next week.


I need to get to my first goal in about a month or so and I know I can do it. I know that with 1000 calorie binges in addition to my exercise that I should at least lose 4lbs a week.

I wish I can just lock myself in my room and never go out. My binges that are at most 700-1000 calories are controlled by my happiness, if someone compliments my figure I feel like that's a cue that I deserve to eat. And it's been happening a lot lately, and I'm so tired of people saying that I look good or guys giving me more attention. Today I was jogging and this guy stopped out of his car just to ask me how my day was. WTF. Please leave me alone. And the other day some guy who would never give me attention invited me to his place and he made me pizza. I'm so angry at myself and people right now, I don't want the attention at all.

My supervisor is catching on that I don't eat at all, now I'm forcing myself to eat so she doesn't get concerned. My parents are concerned too because last time we skyped they saw that my ribs were poking out of my shirt. I just don't need anyone's concern right now because I'm not happy with how I look, I feel like I'm not even close enough.

I'm not good enough, and I literally hate myself. I want to progress farther but no matter how much I try I'm just stuck this way.

---

Dimensions other than bust-waist-hip
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 30 14:31:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdudn/dimensions_other_than_bustwaisthip/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Is there such a thing as B/P anorexia without the bingeing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 30 13:58:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdp70/is_there_such_a_thing_as_bp_anorexia_without_the/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Dealing head on with the emotional manipulation that led to my disordered eating
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 30 13:51:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdo3u/dealing_head_on_with_the_emotional_manipulation/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] If you have an Aldi near you..
/u/thorngren92
Created: Sat Jul 30 12:24:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdabl/if_you_have_an_aldi_near_you/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/9513cdc9369a4f50943aa7856ffd8d18?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=8edcd7a40477e88ccc51485c4d6672dc

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[Discussion] Does anyone else
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Sat Jul 30 12:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdaao/does_anyone_else/
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Enjoy seeking out strangers who might be anorexic?

Yesterday at work I was serving this huge family of French people and one girl out of the whole family was pretty tall, probably 14-17 and super skinny and lanky and was the only one who didn't order any food. She also kept habitually pinching at her skin on her neck and face and stuff.

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[Help] Hairloss prevention tips?
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Sat Jul 30 11:21:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vd00r/hairloss_prevention_tips/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vd00r/hairloss_prevention_tips/

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[Help] Body shape changes?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 11:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vcxot/body_shape_changes/
---
I hope it's still okay to post here, as I'm technically "recovered" I guess.

I still get the bingey urges and want to restrict and I miss my EC stack. But I'm keeping things under control, mostly for the sake of my boyfriend but also so my parents actually let me go back to university in September.

Anyway, let me know.

I was wondering, does anyone else find their body changes its shape every time you lose and gain?

I'm my starting weight again after some very fast significant weight loss (yay recovery! -_-) I find my body shape isn't the same as it was at this weight before.

My collarbones show, which is nice, but my figure is also straighter when it used to be more an hour glass, my face looks different, even my fingers do.

I can't figure out if maybe I really am getting better and I'm just not seeing the crippling dysmorphia anymore, or if my body has really changed shape?

Anyone have any insight?

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[Help] Coffee alternatives?
/u/allquiets [5'1 | 140 | 26.53 | -4 | 95 | F(?)/16]
Created: Sat Jul 30 10:20:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vcq52/coffee_alternatives/
---
Hey everyone! So I just realized that I pretty much need a cup of coffee before I work out to be able to make it through. The problem is that I need 90-120 calories worth of cream and sugar to drink the stuff, since I hate bitter things.


I would drink energy drinks, but I have a fear of them, lol. Any suggestions?

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 30 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vcnay/daily_food_diary_july_30_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 30, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] How do you guys move forward after a binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 30 09:04:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vceka/how_do_you_guys_move_forward_after_a_binge/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] Incorporating calorie burn in daily life
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 07:52:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vc55q/incorporating_calorie_burn_in_daily_life/
---
Hi all, I just wanted to mention that I have casually been doing calf raises and squats when I brush my teeth and during showers and when I'm waiting for the microwave to finish heating my food and waiting for the bus and any time I am standing and sedentary. Basically I incorporate these tiny calorie burns into my day- I know they are absolutely *insignificant* because calories are a bitch to burn (running 1 mile only burns less than half a Snickers bar, fuck THAT) but I always tell myself the muscle development from these little activities will result in greater calorie burn, as developed muscle cells use more energy than fat cells, SO!


I wanted to hear about your own incorporated calorie burn/muscle development habits or whatever habits you have to keep that fat at bay! Are you carrying extra books to develop arm muscles? Doing warrior stance while preparing breakfast?

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[Rant/Rave] Last night was just..... a disaster. Fuck National Wing Day.
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Sat Jul 30 07:36:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vc3b6/last_night_was_just_a_disaster_fuck_national_wing/
---
[rant]

well, I was doing really well yesterday. My LoseIt! app has my budget at 746cals/day so I can lose 2lbs a week. Lately I have been going over, reaching up to between 800-1000cals most days (especially this past week). Yesterday, by 6pm I only had 398cals for the day, permitting me 356 left.

7:30pm: Call my boyfriend to see what he wants to do for dinner. Before going to his house, I park in the grocery store lot so I can shop before I come over. He "doesn't know, doesn't care, blah blah blah, whatever you want babe, but just so you know, it's National Wing Day..."

Fuck. A flush of anxiety washes over my fucking fat cow brain. I go straight to his house instead of mindful grocery shopping, thinking, "Oh I can eat just a couple right?! No big deal???" TBH have been CRAAAAVING wings the last couple weeks.

Even went so far as to change my calorie budget from -2lbs a week to -1lb a week, which allows me 1200cals/day, JUST so I wouldn't feel bad after I logged post-wing nightmare...

8:30pm: We went to B-Dubs. they had 1/2 price wings going on (Hooters was doing AYCE wings for $15/person but I definitely cannot eat even $15 worth of wings, thankgod). I got 10 lemon pepper wings and ate 8, but then I ordered onion rings on the side and had 4. Of course my skinny as a pencil boyfriend only has 6 wings and 5 onion rings and a beer and I just felt so fat and gross... I wish my boyfriend had a bigger appetite than me...

10pm: I logged and ended up having 1300 cals, after dinner. CHRIST ON A CRACKER.

We head to a bar after, where he runs into middle school friends. This was my first time meeting these people, and I'm trying to be friendly, but all that is consuming my head are poisonous thoughts about being "FAT GROSS UGLY."

While they talked amongst themselves, I escaped to the bathroom and purged. Came back and my boyfriend was talking to his buddy and overheard him say, "She's so perfect but she thinks she's fat! Can you believe it?" And I come up, like, "Uhhhmmmmmmmm........what the hell man."

Then feel sad again, feel excluded, and go purge everything I can.

Then I had 2 vodka sodas. And wanted to cry.


Sorry for the lengthy rant here. today I am only having coffee and a banana until I get off work at 2pm then will go home and make my 175cal zoodles. Gonna do better today. Or at least try to.

Fuck.

---

[Help] Hold me accountable
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 07:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbzae/hold_me_accountable/
---
For the 3000+ calories I ate yesterday.

I thought if I started eating normally this shit wasn't supposed to happen. So FUCK eating normally. I am an animal.

I'd rather have dark circles under my eyes and low blood pressure than feel like my stomach is dying. I can literally feel extra fat hanging off my neck and chin. I know it's water retention, but I want to rip it off.

I was weirdly ok with eating all the terrible food yesterday. This morning I have intrusive thoughts, as images of cutting myself flash before my eyes. I'm not even emotionally worked up, which is normally the case when this happens. I'm just pathetic.

People have started commenting on my body. It wasn't ok when I was obese and it isn't ok now. I just want to be skinny without anyone's shit. I have rolls of fat on my stomach. People think because i have skinny wrists that I am skinny. NO. I should just say thanks and end the conversation, not explain that I'm not really skinny because then people will look at me like I am crazy. Because in 2016 a BMI of nearly 22 is considered "skinny" to people. Fuck that.

I wish I could just vomit. I feel food still in my stomach. It hurts. It's fat. It's my punishment and I deserve it 1000℅.

I got good news yesterday and had to ruin it by eating everything. Fucking asshole. I even ate things I'm mildly allergic to. That's how much of a self-defeating fuckup I can be. Who the fuck DOES that....

DISGUSTING

---

[Rant/Rave] Spiteful af.
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 63kg (141lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 06:39:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbwuc/spiteful_af/
---
My boyfriend and I are currently bickering.. at the same time, I want ice cream, but I don't want the satisfaction of him seeing me eat. No ice cream for me!

PS. He just asked me what I'm typing up on Reddit. I said I didn't want to say, and now he's trying to guess. Just said "well I guess if you don't want to tell me, you can't be open with me anymore." Fuck you.

---

[Discussion] Possible to lose 10 lbs in 3 weeks?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 04:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbmwk/possible_to_lose_10_lbs_in_3_weeks/
---
Have accepted I won't be able to meet my ultimate goal weight by the time semester starts but want to at least get to my next goal weight. Will it be possible to get to around 100 lbs by then? I'd be restricting to 250 cal or less a day.

Hopefully by October I'll be at my ugw. My dorm is right next to the gym so I can force myself to go swimming early in the morning, which will be nice...

---

[Other] x-post me_irl
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Sat Jul 30 04:52:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbmq6/xpost_me_irl/
---
http://i.imgur.com/hlwzAJl.jpg

---

[Help] Who are your favourite thin youtubers to watch?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 30 03:20:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbelx/who_are_your_favourite_thin_youtubers_to_watch/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Surprised with myself! [rave]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 30 02:00:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vb7ng/surprised_with_myself_rave/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] AFK for the weekend, just want to apologise for being annoying lately.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 30 00:03:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vawj5/afk_for_the_weekend_just_want_to_apologise_for/
---
Welp, I'm off to spend the weekend with my partner and eat and whatnot.

I'm sorry for being a mess, posting a lot of word vomit and mind shit, and generally being annoying.

You've all been amazing and a big support. I could've ended up a much bigger mess without you.

I hope y'all have a good weekend <3 See you Monday :)

---

[Rant/Rave] So excited for this weekend! (rant/rave)
/u/Superderg
Created: Fri Jul 29 23:56:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vavrl/so_excited_for_this_weekend_rantrave/
---
So with the long weekend coming up starting tomorrow in Canada in taking the entire weekend to hike. Im planning 30km over 3 days. It's going to be awesome, plus I'm heading out alone so just some really high protein snacks and lots of fruits to keep me going then an awesome high protein dinner each day. Going to look and feel so awesome!!! Plus I love that I can eat a good deal more on days like this.
Cabt flair on mobile

---

[Rant/Rave] I just ate an entire pizza.
/u/allquiets [5'1 | 140 | 26.53 | -4 | 95 | F(?)/16]
Created: Fri Jul 29 23:25:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vasix/i_just_ate_an_entire_pizza/
---
It was one of those Ristorante ones. 920 calories. I feel like I'm going to die. I already was bad about calories today, but I went to the gym, ran harder than I have all week, and was absolutely ravenous by the time I got home. I've eaten ~1800 calories? So I'm definitely going to gain. And I can't purge them. I tried. I can't even throw up right, I'm such a failure.


I was doing okay. Not great, but okay. I was down two more pounds. I was going to go out to dinner with my parents tomorrow. Not anymore, obviously. I'm going to drink so much coffee I shake and then I'm going to run at the gym until I throw up. I'm so disgusting. God.


E: Hey guys! I ended up falling asleep. I'm doing a lot better now. I'm just going to not worry too much and let myself intuitively this weekend, and then get back on track on Monday. Love you all so much!!!

---

[Other] What are some excuses I can use to buy 'healthy', 'diet' food?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 29 22:19:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vakvn/what_are_some_excuses_i_can_use_to_buy_healthy/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Restricting causing eyelashes to fall out?
/u/throwawayyayay14434 [5'6" | CW: 125 | 20.2 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 20:49:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4va8p9/restricting_causing_eyelashes_to_fall_out/
---
My eyelashes have been falling out faster than normal, which could be attributed to a number of causes (e.g. mascara or a birth control pill I've been on, although it's been ~2 years since I started the pill so I don't think it would suddenly cause this). However, I was wondering if restricting could cause eyelashes to fall out? And if so, how should I mitigate this? Take vitamins, etc.? Thanks!

---

[Help] How do you guys deal at Hibachi? :-(
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 20:44:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4va83d/how_do_you_guys_deal_at_hibachi/
---
I'm petrified. Monday, my family is going out to lunch at a hibachi place. That gives me two days to figure out what I'm going to have to force down my hole when we get there.

They use so much oil and butter and uGghhggHhhGg

I'm freaking out... if you guys go to a place like this what do you order? How do you count the calories? Do you just give in for a day and admit defeat and just eat your fill or is there some magic way I can figure out how to maintain some record of caloric intake?

The place doesn't have calorie counts online and literally every source I can find has vastly different calories...

---

[Other] scale says -17 lbs, i don't believe it. still looking and feeling exactly the same, like a fat pig. (before & after)
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 20:07:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4va2xq/scale_says_17_lbs_i_dont_believe_it_still_looking/
---
https://66.media.tumblr.com/a6b0a12e10fe6cc7b587e171af75f955/tumblr_ob3v6b75Eq1siz4h6o1_1280.png

---

[Help] i can't fucking do it
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 19:53:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4va0xn/i_cant_fucking_do_it/
---
today i had a horrible binge. i ate at least 700 calories today, maybe more. i'm so scared to weigh myself tomorrow, i know i will have gained weight. i feel so disgusting and obese and repulsive. also i was looking at clothes online and i'm still considered an xl. all of this for fucking nothing. i'm a worthless fat disgusting pig and i always will be. i hate myself.

---

Anyone here lose weight from Topamax?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 29 19:39:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9z1r/anyone_here_lose_weight_from_topamax/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] I can't behave when I'm around my boyfriend [rant]
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 19:36:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9yjm/i_cant_behave_when_im_around_my_boyfriend_rant/
---
He's got that young guy metabolism, plus he skates, bikes and plays baseball, so of course he can drink all the beer he wants plus pizza and burritos all day.

Before we started spending significant time together, I was so good about restricting/fasting and avoiding beer (my weakness). But he always shows up with a case of beer and wants to take me to get food. I just feel like when I say no he is disappointed and I feel so bad! So I think, "okay, everyone has a cheat day here and there..." then when we spend like 5 days together they all become cheat days! As soon as he leaves I'm back on track but I spend more days with him than not :(

I'm mostly just ranting but if you little ones wanna throw some advice my way, I'd happily take some. Love you guys ❤

---

[Intro] Introduction, I guess c:
/u/dec4y [5'3|cw:148|25.4|-16lbs|F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 19:19:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9wa0/introduction_i_guess_c/
---
Hey guys! I wanted to make an introductory post as I've been lurking here for a long time and finally decided to become an actual member of the community c:. I don't really know if these posts are common, but I felt like I should alert y'all of my presence somehow? Lol.
I relapsed recently pretty much full force, actually even more than ever before, so I figured why not make myself known and be a part of something, y'know?
Anyway, I look forward to actually getting to know you guys c:

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[Rant/Rave] It's been a while, and I think I'm over "recovery"
/u/incerta [5'4"| 105? | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 18:37:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9qez/its_been_a_while_and_i_think_im_over_recovery/
---
I haven't posted here in months since I was hospitalized in inpatient. It's just been too triggering. While I was there, and since then I've gained a LOT of weight. Like over 20 pounds. I've been trying to be okay with it, but something snapped today and I feel like complete fucking garbage. I mean, I always feel shitty about my body. The only "good" thing to come from gaining weight is that my breasts gained a measly cup size (barely).

Basically, I think I'm done with "recovery". I can't stand feeling and looking this huge, being able to squeeze all the fat. I want to feel think and lovely and unique again. I'm starting to hate myself again and I just don't think I can do it.

---

[Intro] Intro and average
/u/SmaharbaShe
Created: Fri Jul 29 18:20:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9o4h/intro_and_average/
---
Hi, I'm looking to lose 4-5 pounds and see how I feel, maybe keep going. I don't count calories but I just found out my tdee and the amount of calories I can consume each day to lose - 278 if sedentary and 464 if lightly active.
I look very average, my body doesn't look so thin, probably because I'm small boned.
Stats - 5'3 74lbs

I've been seeing 74lbs every time I step on scale, it's crap.

Anyway, I'd like to hear your opinion, is it possible to have a bmi of 13.1 and not look thin at all?
I don't have any friends to state their opinion on my body. Nobody makes comments, have no clue what to think. So I come here for opinions.

---

[Rant/Rave] I am having a Not-So-Good Day
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Fri Jul 29 17:46:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9je7/i_am_having_a_notsogood_day/
---
I am feeling very sad and lonely for no apparent reason and I have eaten 300 calories more than I was supposed to (it was 300 calories of pre-cooked jimmy dean turkey sausage, so not the *worst* thing ever, but still I'm now at 1200 for the day) and I just want to vent. I'm gonna get really fucking high and fast tomorrow and hopefully things will be better but for now I am not feeling so hot~

---

[Help] Kinda worried...
/u/Caulifloweryellow
Created: Fri Jul 29 16:12:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v957k/kinda_worried/
---
Hello, my first time posting here, been a lurker a while.
Anyways, I've been a bulimic for almost ten years now. And I'm really tired of it. I've been the same weight almost the whole time. 55 to 60 kg 174 cms.

Last couple of weeks I've kept binge and purge free, just trying to eat clean and stopped counting calories. Did some walking, nothing crazy. It has gone really well, feel better than ever, my face isn't as puffy, I feel great.

BUT, everything I eat comes out half digested, only had two half solid poops in two weeks. Is it just some kind of transitioning period? I've been losing weight again which is great but not my aim right now... I don't have any abdominal pain but I just seem to be unable to digest properly.

Does anyone have experience with that?

---

[Rant/Rave] I just can't stop eating
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Jul 29 15:50:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v91iw/i_just_cant_stop_eating/
---
It has gotten to the point that I have fantasies about being kidnapped, left alone in a Dungeon with only water for a few months and then get rescued and look all skinny and beautiful.

Oh dear, I probably should be locked up..

More to check if I'm actually insane oops

---

[Other] Binged 2 days in a row
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 15:41:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v904v/binged_2_days_in_a_row/
---
How do you guys get back into fasting? I fasted for a week successfully after a spontaneous bout of self control and willpower... but it only comes spontaneously...

I'm posting here to declare my shame and know how much my face will puff up after 2 days of eating more than 2000kcal. I come home from work and stuff my face with grilled cheese sandwiches and pb and j sandwiches (today I had 3 open faced sandwiches in addition to a ramen and an open faced grilled cheese sandwich) after garden work. I know I will gain so much weight because of shitty sleep and my slip up. I promise not to eat for 4 days and will survive on tea and coffee. Wish me luck, my piggy self will inevitably stuff my piehole with snacks and sandwiches after a work day.

---

[Discussion] Saw this article and it seemed really similar to things people with EDs exhibit. DAE experience these habits?
/u/Saltycook [5'4"| 128# |22.4| -35# | Female]
Created: Fri Jul 29 14:27:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v8nv3/saw_this_article_and_it_seemed_really_similar_to/
---
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2012/10/01/161766321/nail-biting-mental-disorder-or-just-a-bad-habit

---

[Rant/Rave] Bloody typical. The day after I decide to give myself a few days break from restricting, and accept some weight gain...
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 29 14:08:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v8kaj/bloody_typical_the_day_after_i_decide_to_give/
---
... all my water weight from the last 2 weeks is seemingly dumped and I look leaner than ever. Now I have to face putting on a couple of lbs.

I think I'm going to force myself to stick with it though. Free eating until Monday, TRY to be sensible (wont happen, Sunday is gonna be awful..) then - hopefully with brain fog all gone - devise a new more sustainable plan and get my head and shit together to begin on August 1st.

/u/Glitter_Cunt made me realise that I need this to be sustainable, and not rush it - especially with the weight lifting. I can't just fast all the time, binge, cry about not losing as fast as I wanted, half ass it anymore. If I insist on drastically cutting my fat (which I do) and weight lifting (which I also do!) I need to be more clever about it, and more compromising with this body (and mind) of mine.

Do I want a body like this for one weekend and then risk binging myself to oblivion, like I was starting to risk again? Or do I want to plan that will enable me to KEEP a body like this? Or.. one that's even better? Firmer?

As she said in all her wisdom.. marathon, not a sprint. *-deep breaths-*

So perhaps rather than put me off, I should take this as motivation. I know I need a reset for my psyche. I need to clear this brain fog, and really get a *good fucking* plan for the weeks to come.

I'll gain a couple of lbs by Monday. I can lose one or two in four weeks before my break away with my boyfriend, and wear my pretty dresses and singlets and look exactly like this, with a new more sustainable plan and a more relaxed mindset.

But damn this just got so much harder guys because I look FINNNEEE rn.

---

[Intro] [Intro] Never fully recovered and now I'm slipping back.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 29 13:43:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v8g01/intro_never_fully_recovered_and_now_im_slipping/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Weighed in, hadn't lost weight the entire month...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 13:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v88pc/weighed_in_hadnt_lost_weight_the_entire_month/
---
Checked my log and realized I had been binge eating 6/7 days a week (and not purging) every week this month. :/ Glad I didn't gain weight but feeling kind of stupid and frustrated with myself. What a waste of time.

---

[Help] So I need a new scale..any recommendations?
/u/Booknerd0611
Created: Fri Jul 29 12:28:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v824r/so_i_need_a_new_scaleany_recommendations/
---
Help

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[Rant/Rave] It's been a loooong month, without you my friends....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 29 12:18:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v80h7/its_been_a_loooong_month_without_you_my_friends/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Mrw i feel guilty about that 300cal donut i ate this morning.
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Fri Jul 29 12:09:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7yoc/mrw_i_feel_guilty_about_that_300cal_donut_i_ate/
---
http://imgur.com/AY9j825

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[Rant/Rave] I just at 900 calories worth of cookie dough....
/u/rad_dads [5'9" | 152 | 22.0 | F | GW: 125]
Created: Fri Jul 29 11:44:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7tzg/i_just_at_900_calories_worth_of_cookie_dough/
---
And I really really really want to purge it but Im not going to because purging is the worst and I really need to stop. I keep trying to remind myself that I'm still under my TDEE and its not the end of the world but it's so hard. Especially since I've been keeping my daily calories under 800 recently so this feels like so much :( This isn't even close to my worst binge ever but I've been doing so well restricting that I feel like a total failure. This morning I was in such a good mood and now it's all ruined.

Sorry for ranting, hope you all are having a fantastic day :)

---

[Intro] [Intro] Just had my second kid. My husband is my thinspo. :(
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 11:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7ql6/intro_just_had_my_second_kid_my_husband_is_my/
---
Hi!

I had a baby 8 weeks ago. Somehow I got up to 180lbs while pregnant. YIKES. No stretch marks or any visible damage, thankfully.

I am now 125lbs and trying to lose the last 10-15lbs to get back to 110-115range. I'm eating 600-800 calories a day at most and breastfeeding, so the weight loss has been going pretty well.

My husband is 5'10" and only weighs 130lbs, so I was very stressed out being heavier than him while pregnant and immediately after. Not sure if any of you can relate. He is a cyclist and always racing and training - so even though he's just 130lbs, he eats probably 4000+ calories a day, even more when he's racing or really training hard.

I am a heavy restricter and work out a lot. (Mostly walking, yoga, and weights at home.) For the most part, staying in the 600-800 calorie range is easy for me and I don't have any tendencies to binge. I don't drink because I make terrible food decisions, though.

My 30th birthday is only a few months away and we're going to Hawaii. I am already feeling paranoid about all the family photos we'll be taking in swimsuits, so I'm mulling over trying to get down to 105 or 100 so I have some wiggle room in case I mess up.

---

[Help] Experience with ADD/ADHD meds
/u/sisternature [5'2 |SW:119 |CW:114.5 |UGW:105 |F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 11:09:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7nd9/experience_with_addadhd_meds/
---
Hi! Ive been a lurker for a while and have commented on a few posts but I havent actually made one until now (i have no idea how to flair this on mobile). Im 19 years old and I 100% think I have ADD but my parents never wanted to test me for it like they did with my other siblings (my brother did end up having ADD and takes meds). My boyfriend really wants me to go get tested but for the past year I have been too scared because Im afraid that the doctor will notice my ED and any weird thoughts I have in my head. Im scared I will be turned away even though I have done so badly in school and freshman year of college due to not remembering things and not being able to pay attention. How did those of you who have ADD/ADHD find out you had it and was it a hard process with your ED? How do the everyday meds effect you? Also, I live in the US and always have.
Didnt mean to rant on about myself, thought some info about me would help.

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[Rant/Rave] What a great week!
/u/trapqueenB [5'4 | 134 lb | 23 | -30 lb | F/22]
Created: Fri Jul 29 10:25:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7f7k/what_a_great_week/
---


Things ended with this guy I was dating and I have been pretty bummed out. The only good that came out of it was that I was able to regularly exercise again after work instead of hanging out with him. So every day since Saturday I went running for about 3.5-5.5 miles! I also have been restricting, probably 300-500 calories. However, because of this I could only run 1 mile yesterday and had to walk the rest. So now I'm kind of stuck between not wanting to eat but wanting to exercise.... tips?
But anyways I weighed myself this morning and the scale said 133.9! I lost 4 lbs! In the past, when I get to around this weight I always, for some reason, end up messing it all up and going back up to 138-139. However, I am determined to not do that this time. Hopefully my next post will be omg I'm under 130 ( Which I haven't been since middle school). Wish me luck guys!

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[Discussion] Who here smokes/has quit smoking?
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 29 10:24:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7f4o/who_here_smokeshas_quit_smoking/
---
[discussion] sorry on mobile!

Just curious who here smokes cigarettes or has quit and how this has affected your weight gain/loss.

I want to quit, I've been smoking since I was 15. Am scared of the weight gain. Also just scared of life without nicotine. Anyways I would like to hear your experiences and opinions.

And yes I've been over to r/stopsmoking, before anyone suggests it 😛

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 29 10:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7b71/daily_food_diary_july_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] Can this ban me from MyFitnessPal?
/u/i-cannot-tell-you [5' 0"| 106 | 21.8 | -35 | f]
Created: Fri Jul 29 10:01:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7azo/can_this_ban_me_from_myfitnesspal/
---
I've got 5 years of data in that site I never want to lose. But recently I discovered if you go to Goals, you can put in a custom number for Calories. Usually I've gotten around their 1200 limit by Quick Adding a couple hundred per day, but changing my goal calories will more accurately reflect my macros.

I've heard of people getting banned from MFP in the past for logging consistently too few calories, so my question is, if I set my goal calories to 900, is there a chance that they'll ban me?

Thanks :)

---

[Tip] Good BMR/TDEE/BMI Calculator
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 09:58:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7adu/good_bmrtdeebmi_calculator/
---
http://www.sailrabbit.com/bmr/

---

[Thinspo] Friday Thinspo
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 09:48:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v78hj/friday_thinspo/
---
https://imgur.com/a/jgj6i

---

[Discussion] Those of you who had recovered (in any way big or small), and now are back into your ED. What triggered you?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 09:14:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7292/those_of_you_who_had_recovered_in_any_way_big_or/
---
I practically forgot I ever had an ED so much time had passed. Then one day at work, my boss was talking about a horse jockey he knew who said he had to stop racing because he developed such a bad ED that it almost killed him.



My ED came back full force that day.

EDs are weird AF.

---

[Help] UGH day 1 of 3 day fast
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 09:00:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6zn7/ugh_day_1_of_3_day_fast/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] This is why I shouldn't work from home.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 08:45:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6wws/this_is_why_i_shouldnt_work_from_home/
---
I decided to relax and work from home today. Yay! I had extra time so I decided to bake some brownies from scratch, and I promised myself I wouldn't eat any of them. I'd just bake them and leave the in the fridge for my girlfriend, I was leaving this afternoon to go out with a friend anyways.

Well while they were baking I licked the spoon. Which cause the spiral of chocolate cravings. So I grabbed four cookies and chewed and spit them while I was waiting. I didn't swallow a single bite, at least. Then the brownies finished.

While they were cooling I chugged water and said to myself, okay you can c&s just one (and they're little bite sized ones) then you're done for today. Stop messing up.

So I c&sed one. The I ate one. Then I panicked because I wasnt supposed to eat anything until I went out to dinner tonight. So I chugged a cup of water and calculated how many jumping jacks I'd have to do to burn off the one bitty brownie. It was 15 minutes worth of jumping jacks.

I set the timer, did four minutes, then ran to the bathroom and almost threw up. But even if I felt like I kinda of should've let myself just throw up the brownie, Im still really afraid of barfing. So instead I ate 1/2c of frozen yogurt. (70) to settle my stomach.


So lesson learned: If you let yourself lick the brownie batter covered spoon, you'll end up eating 130 Cal's net and almost barfing from jumbling up your water and chocolate logged stomach. Go me.

I should've just went into work today.

---

[Discussion] Purging for comfort, not necessarily to get food out. Is this really different than most people on here?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 29 08:19:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6sem/purging_for_comfort_not_necessarily_to_get_food/
---
I feel really weird about this. I've used laxative since I was 12-13ish to purge. But I would always purge by puking too. But, the puking wasn't necessarily to actually get food out. I mean, I probably never even got 1/3 of the food out, because I wasn't drinking enough water to do that while eating. But it just makes me feel really calm when I'm dry heaving, or even if I puke just a little. Sometimes I'll do it if I've just had a bad day, maybe I didn't even eat.

I have no idea why, or what the point is. Or why it makes me feel good when it doesn't make me feel less full, and I know I'm not really getting anything out.

Has anyone felt anything like this?

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so sad all the time
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 07:44:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6mqd/im_so_sad_all_the_time/
---
I have a lot of good things going on in my life at the moment, I am about to go back to uni, I just passed my driving test, I have a perfect SO who I live with. I have enough money to pay the bills.

But I just can't seem to drag myself from under this black cloud of sadness. I've lost 2 stone (28lbs) from my highest weight and surpassed 2 GWs. I am XS everywhere pretty much - which is ridiculous but there we are. But I still have 11 lbs to go, and I know that I probably won't be happy when I get there.

Getting dressed takes me almost an hour of changing outfits and crying. I have no energy even though I am still eating 700-800 calories per day. My tummy is still fat and sticks out, my thighs still touch.

When I think about all the things I should be doing; making sure to cleanse tone and moisturise daily, take off my nail varnish before it chips, do SOMETHING with my horrid thin, dry hair, putting on make up to try and hide how ugly I am, being social, doing uni work around actual work, being happy at work, making sure to walk more and eat less. It's just all too much i don't have the energy and I just want to go to bed and not get up for a week. As I can't actually do that I am sitting at work with chipped nails, in an outfit I hate with a crap hair do, hating myself and trying to avoid other people.

I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way, and it will pass eventually- what do you do to perk yourself up when you feel like an absolute failure?

Sorry for the long rant! thanks for reading.

---

[Help] A bit of a dilemma
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:48:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6ehz/a_bit_of_a_dilemma/
---
Okay so! My family is going to england today! yayayayayayayayay! I'm super excited, but the one thing I am concerned about is my scale. I weigh myself every day to make sure that I am on the right track and I only trust my scale, but we are going to be living in close quarters for 10 days. I don't want any of them to find out that I brought a freaking scale with me because it feels super strange... Should I bring my scale and hide it in my suitcase and just wake up before everyone else to weigh myself, or should I just leave it at home? Is this just a recipe for disaster?

I'm super concerned about showing disordered behaviour to my mom, because she knows about my bulemia and wants me to recover and deal with it, but I'm not ready.

---

[Discussion] Bulimics: Do you think you will ever be able to stop?
/u/Itsemurha [177cm | 71.9kg| 22.43| -47kg | GW: 60kg | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:45:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6e3f/bulimics_do_you_think_you_will_ever_be_able_to/
---
I'm starting to think this will never end.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so worried about my future
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:15:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6a34/im_so_worried_about_my_future/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Guy users, what's your ideal body? Do you want to stay thin, bulk up or have muscles?
/u/_saisonenenfer [175cm | not thin :( | M]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:13:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v69sn/guy_users_whats_your_ideal_body_do_you_want_to/
---
this is my ideal

http://i.imgur.com/srO09RK.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/zF2GPWr.jpg

---

I'm so scared about my future
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:11:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v69lq/im_so_scared_about_my_future/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Anyone just love dancing around their house?
/u/commtra [5'7 | GW:110 | -11 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:10:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v69dz/anyone_just_love_dancing_around_their_house/
---
I love putting on some random latest pop hits playlist from Spotify and dance around for hours. I'm agoraphobic & going outside for a run or to the gym to exercise drains me more mentally than physically.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! July 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v68j0/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_july_29_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for July 29, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Tip] A tip for summer <3
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 29 05:51:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v678g/a_tip_for_summer_3/
---
http://i.imgur.com/JJeZ5Y6.png

---

[Rant/Rave] I love fasting!!!
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 05:43:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v66b4/i_love_fasting/
---
http://imgur.com/a/cynV8

---

[Discussion] Not hungry during fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 29 02:37:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v5njw/not_hungry_during_fast/
---
Hey I'm approaching 72 hours for my current fast and I'm not hungry AT all. DAE get like this? And why is it? I've been drinking A LOT of water lately so I'm really hydrated right now and feel pretty great. Sadly though I have to end my fast tonight :/

---

[Help] Calories in Costa coffee? Online counts not helping!
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! |GW 140| UGW 112|-7lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 23:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v55tw/calories_in_costa_coffee_online_counts_not_helping/
---
I'm going out for a coffee with my sister later today but when I'm looking calories up online I'm getting wildly varying counts?! Does anyone know how many calories are in a medium skinny cappuccino from Costa?

---

[Meme/Humor] People: "You've lost so much weight! Do you even treat yourself to more?" Me: "Oh, I do."
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 23:14:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v50w4/people_youve_lost_so_much_weight_do_you_even/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/48ee19dab83c44b7adf4b2873397aa68?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=b7d6487d402e71badc2557cde43e9303

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[Help] Want to try a fast but it concerns me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 21:45:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4p6b/want_to_try_a_fast_but_it_concerns_me/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Low calorie foods that aren't artificial?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 21:30:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4n35/low_calorie_foods_that_arent_artificial/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] Buying food makes me feel fuller. Vegan proed food haul ya'll
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 21:21:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4ltb/buying_food_makes_me_feel_fuller_vegan_proed_food/
---
http://imgur.com/3W2o4Xz

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[Help] I feel really sick
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 21:01:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4ity/i_feel_really_sick/
---
It's ~85 degrees F here and I've only eaten 700 calories. I could let myself eat 200 more but I feel *so sick* because of the heat and because of a lack of food (funny how your body combats hunger by making you feel too sick to eat). What are your tips for surviving too hot weather? I can barely function on normal days and I'm literally shaking now

---

[Help] Cleanse *tmi*
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 20:24:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4dfa/cleanse_tmi/
---
I know cleanses are crap, but I'm doing one anyway. I just feel super gross and I am actually constipated. After I get home tomorrow I'm going to do the Miralax/Gatorade thing, but with half the Miralax.

Has anyone done this before? How long can I expect to be pooping?

On mobile can't flair

---

Low Calorie foods that are artificial?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:59:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v49mk/low_calorie_foods_that_are_artificial/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] Found an awesome food item at the store!
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:26:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v44f2/found_an_awesome_food_item_at_the_store/
---
It's single serve mashed potatoes in a cup! I get the Idahoan brand and the home style "buttery" flavor. It makes a pretty decent serving size, is pretty filling, is SUPER tasty, and is 165 calories for the whole cup! They are usually a dollar a cup and I have seen them everywhere.

---

[Rant/Rave] My binge wasn't as bad as I thought!
/u/Healthilyornot [5'2" | 137lbs | -56lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:21:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v43o9/my_binge_wasnt_as_bad_as_i_thought/
---
I binged horribly yesterday, so today I woke up and was determined not to eat....and around noon I messed up, eating 900 calories of sugary crap all at once. Frustrated, I resolved to stop myself and run it all off later. Well, I just got back from burning off all 900 calories, and I realized I'd accidentally logged 3 servings of something I only ate one of, and had only binged on 700 calories!
So my run cut into yesterday's (actually huge, like 4000+) binge, and I'm back on track with restricting!
It's the little victories, lol...

---

[Help] CANT STOP BINGING
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:09:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v41qm/cant_stop_binging/
---
[removed]

---

[Help] How do you stop your stomach from making noises?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v40uh/how_do_you_stop_your_stomach_from_making_noises/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Do you ever feel afraid of your disorder?
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 18:47:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3yia/do_you_ever_feel_afraid_of_your_disorder/
---
Sometimes, I feel afraid that I won't be able to stop restricting when I get to a dangerous level. I've always been able to stop in the past (usually b/c binges), but what if I can't stop this time? Do you guys ever feel afraid, even though you're not actually ready to recover?

---

[Rant/Rave] no i haven't lost weight
/u/crapbeg
Created: Thu Jul 28 17:22:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3lr3/no_i_havent_lost_weight/
---
i know this comes up on like a daily basis but seriously it really annoys me when people ask if i've lost weight????

no i haven't lost weight!!! the numbers on the scale are basically the same and i don't look any different (again, not dysmorphic, it's apparent from all the 'progress' pics)

my best friend's mum basically criticised her for not being as skinny as me the other night and i felt so horrible for her because she's pretty obsessive about exercise (but not her diet) and she clearly felt bad about it (as would i)

then she asked what size i was wearing and it was an XS (because i'm really short) and then she was like 'oh, i could fit into that' like it was a competition (she doesn't know how much i care about this shit, i always act like the one who eats a lot but happens to lose weight)

the fatlogic also kills me - because i still act like someone who loves food and eats all the time, she was like 'oh, i think you're losing your baby fat' (lol)

again just a lot of food stuff i needed to get out about the entire last month but oh my god it's so frustrating

---

[Discussion] Torani 0 cal Syrup = The Devil
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 28 17:15:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3kpk/torani_0_cal_syrup_the_devil/
---
Been drinking this in my coffee.. and I'm gaining weight. So, this "0cal" syrup, 15 cal individual packaged creamer, and coffee. Wtf.. and eating at a deficit. But at 111 pounds, very slightly going up, when I was at 108 last week? Like, uh, no motherfucker I don't think so. I'm about to chuck this out the window. Back to diet soda instead of coffee for me.

Can you guys think of anything that could be in the syrup that's either making me gain, or retain water?

EDIT: And I made a rave post about this demon syrup a week ago uuuugh

---

[Rant/Rave] So I am finally back on track. Day 3 of fasting wish me luck.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 17:01:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3iee/so_i_am_finally_back_on_track_day_3_of_fasting/
---
The first two days I went to the gym but now I'm just too loopy and sleepy lol.
I've been eating homemade 5 cal (or less?) popsicles and vitamins everyday. Tomorrow I will eat dinner with my mom to break the fast but since I've officially gone vegan (right after discovering halo top :'( ) my dinner options are a salad and sweet potato fries 😎 I'm 133 again (binged up to 149) but soon I will be in the 120s again and after that the world!!

---

[Other] My 310 calorie day
/u/prettyvac4nt [5' | 100lb | 20.5 | -23lb | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 16:52:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3h21/my_310_calorie_day/
---
I feel like I've had loads of food for 300 calories today, this is unusually low for me but I had a binge day yesterday so I need to make up for this.

Meal 1: 189 calories

* 100g chopped strawberries - 32 calories
* 1 cup cherries - 74 calories
* 1 banana - 75 calories

All dipped in Walden Farms chocolate dip, 8 calories in 4 tablespoons of dip.
I'm in the UK so Walden Farms have to provide accurate calorie counts, there's 13 calories in 100g if anyone is wondering so the whole tub is only 44 calories! It tastes amazing with strawberries, and it's so low calorie it's my new safe binge food. I actually like that combination better than real chocolate.

Meal 2: 123 calories

* 1 small chicken breast - 85 calories
* 2 cups of steamed broccoli - 28 calories
* 1/8 packet fajita seasoning - 10 calories

I chopped the chicken up and mixed it with the broccoli and seasoned it to add taste, I'm estimating the broccoli as I forgot to weigh it but it was a decent sized meal.

I've also had sugarfree squash (like 4 calories per glass) and chai tea/coffee with sweeteners and no milk, and I burned about 100 calories according to my Lifesum app from walking around town.

I'm hoping to repeat this for the next few days to compensate for the binge :)

---

[Rant/Rave] Impostor syndrome =/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 16:42:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3fg9/impostor_syndrome/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] Motivation from a messy apartment
/u/allocentriclock
Created: Thu Jul 28 16:41:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3f97/motivation_from_a_messy_apartment/
---
So I moved a few weeks ago and umm.. my stuff is slowly getting organized and put away, but I still have piles of things. I have too many things.

I have a pile of clothes that's mostly stuff I don't wear too much. Right on top of that pile is a pair shorts that I can't fit into anymore. That just so happens to look exactly like the pair I do wear. Without thinking, I've grabbed that same pair many times. Resulting in shaming myself. Forcing myself to remember when I did used to fit in them. When they were big on me in fact. It works.

I might be a bit of a masocist.

---

[Help] Eh. Had a mini-binge out of panic. Think I'm gonna give myself a break the rest of the week. Thoughts?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 28 16:16:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3bd0/eh_had_a_minibinge_out_of_panic_think_im_gonna/
---
I've already had around 600 mini-binge calories today despite it supposed to be a fast day. I had 1200kcal yesterday, despite planning for 750. 200 or so the day before, despite it being a fast. So this week is already bust - and I think the *only* way I'm going to stop myself panic binging tonight is if I just have a good, large, healthy dinner.. the 600kcal I've racked up already was from banana-oatmeal cookies I baked and *meant* to freeze. I paniced because of my failures lately, AND my digital scale ran out of battery literally just tonight (Nooo! My baby!!!) and I don't have a spare. Currently telling myself that the carb cals from the cookies are going towards replenishing my glycogen stores rather than fat after being low-carb and near fasting the last few days. Lol. I always tell myself that when I go carb-crazy..

I want to reach for them again SO SO BADLY, and am finding it easier to resist the thought by planning on making a big healthy dinner in a moment.

I'll put on a few lbs - maybe not the next couple of days, I wont go over TDEE then, but I'll binge this Sunday as I usually do even eating normally until then, "Sunday eats" is so engrained now.. but it's August 1st on Monday. New week, new month. Perfect time for a solid month long push to lose as much of that gain for my break away with my boyfriend on September 1st(we made up, btw xD We always do, we're pretty solid!). And this time, be a little bit more intelligent about it.

Who knows, maybe I'll even end up looking leaner. Last time I had a break (a whole week), I looked leaner than ever when the bloat and water went away. God knows why. I seriously can't explain that but it's what happened (does anyone know why this would have happened?). Maybe I'll get lucky like that this time, too.

And screw the 88lbs goal for now, I'm seriously not ready for it obviously.. new goal, stay under 95lbs until I am ready for more.

I know I don't need to post here for validation of my 'plan' - I know that isn't what this subs about at all. But I'm seeking it anyway. I'm asking if all of this is
'okay'. Is it okay to accept a few lbs weight gain over the next few days? Is it okay to give myself a break? What will happen to my body? I know that's all ridiculous... but I hope you understand why I ask. If nothing else, you guys know what an utter mess I've been..

Thanks <3

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm a horrible person
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 15:08:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2zz8/im_a_horrible_person/
---
I have an aquiantance who has an eating disorder, and she tends to be fairly open about it. Well, she blogged about how she wasn't actually diagnosed as anorexic by her doctor because she didn't meet the criteria, since apparently she is not afraid of gaining weight. She said, "Well, I won't gain weight if I don't eat, and I'm not going to eat more than I plan to, so why would I be afraid of gaining?"

Fast forward a few months, she had to be hospitalized because she was close to dying she was so thin, and... of course I think that's terrible, but I'm also incredibly jealous of her. I feel like I have no control over my eating. I'll restrict heavily for a week, and then compulsively binge it all back. I don't want to die, but if I had that kind of self-control... well, I might be dead, but at least I wouldn't be fat.

---

[Discussion] List of "diet alternatives" that actually taste normal?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 14:46:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2w4k/list_of_diet_alternatives_that_actually_taste/
---
E.g. Halo Top, Weight Watchers Cheese String, Vitamin Water Zero, Diet Coke, etc.

What diet versions of food have you tried that tasted good?

---

[Intro] Stressed out & restricting
/u/blvckmvgik
Created: Thu Jul 28 14:38:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2up3/stressed_out_restricting/
---
I've been lurking this sub for a while now and it's been so nice to read about everything that people think and go through and realize that I'm not alone in how I think about food and my body.

So this is my first post here and mostly I'm just stressed out right now and just need to get this out! I've been having to go to CD treatment so I have to be sober right now, but because of that my ED symptoms are out of control. I've been restricting to 500 calories or less a day, basically fasting completely aside from fluids. I've lost 5 pounds and I feel good about it but I'm starting to feel sick, last night I could barely sleep because my stomach was hurting. Today I felt like I needed to just eat a little something just to ease some of the pain (it's been about 4 days since I've had something solid) but the thought of food is so sickening to me, like I could barely chew & swallow. Does this happen to anyone else?? Just feeling sad about it.

---

[Goal] Depression and self-loathing subsided, now I can't lose weight
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Jul 28 13:21:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2h50/depression_and_selfloathing_subsided_now_i_cant/
---
I had a breakthrough last night in understanding what's been happening to me for the past months. My weight loss stalled, then slowly has crept up...15lbs up. Every day I try to meanspo myself back into restriction and EVERY GODDAMN DAY I BINGE.


Then last night I realized that I lost all of my weight while I was in a period of severe depression & self-loathing. I was able to punish myself and endure the pain because I thought I deserved it, and I hated myself.


I'm not in that head space any more. I don't think I deserve pain. I don't hate myself. I still think I look gross but maybe it's time to try a more compassionate approach.

---

[Rant/Rave] She snapped a picture of me.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:51:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2bs3/she_snapped_a_picture_of_me/
---
How emberessing


I've been eyeing these vegan Paleo cookies for awhile now so I decided to treat myself. But I get very scared of things idk the Cal contents on so I started picking out the chocolate chips . Two ladies I guess saw me started giggling amongst themselves and snapped a picture.

I'm so emberessed.


Also any guesstimating of the cals ? It was made with almond flour and maple syrup? Bahaha

---

[Intro] This is just your weekly "long time lurker, first time poster" post.
/u/montagemontage [5'4" | CW: 🐮 | GW: 95 | -15 | f]
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:46:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2avs/this_is_just_your_weekly_long_time_lurker_first/
---
Hello, there!

Before reddit, I primarily followed pro-ED communities on xanga and livejournal (anyone else remember those? anyone? bueller?). I've gained and lost up to 50 pounds (I'm starting a new "downswing" again) multiple times due to my constant cycle of binging and restricting. Last year I was finally formerly referred to a nutritionist and began ED treatment (for BED and atypical bulimia nervosa) after a nurse noticed the bruising and bloodshot eyes my b/p cycles were causing. I decided to join r/proED because I honestly have really missed having an online community of people who understand what it's like to have such an utterly fucked up relationship to food, exercise, and other daily activities most people can engage in/with without thinking. In about a month I start my final year of college. Despite the fact that I once dreamt of (could have, would have, should have) graduating with highest honors, publications under my belt, and a post-grad fellowship, I threw it all away recently as I destroyed my GPA, dropped/missed research deadlines, and stayed in bed up to 18 hours a day due to a major depressive episode that lasted 6 months. My life isn't just struggles, though - I'm actually a pretty easy-going and optimistic person when I'm not feeling particularly mentally ill. I like reading, music, social justice (particularly economic and racial justice), and dream of one day going into academia.

Nice to meet you all, and I'm excited to start contributing!

---

[Goal] I BEAT THE PLATEAU!
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:12:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v24ip/i_beat_the_plateau/
---
I've been at a plateau of 125-126 for the past two weeks and haven't been weighing myself at home because my scale is apparently way off. So right now I'm at a doctors appointment and they weighed me and I'm 123.2!!!! I'm so happy I could cry. I'm getting closer and closer to my first goal of 120 and then 115ish :)

---

[Help] My new psychiatrist suggested I try two drugs that suppress appetite and increase metabolism
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:08:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v23wg/my_new_psychiatrist_suggested_i_try_two_drugs/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Tumblr blogs to follow?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v22uz/tumblr_blogs_to_follow/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] What's everyone's motivation today?
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 11:49:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v20cd/whats_everyones_motivation_today/
---
Today I bought $200 worth of clothes off my favourite sites (dollskill and killstar) that will fit properly probably 15-25 pounds from now so now I absolutely have to get smaller. What's your motivation for today?

---

[Help] How much lax do you guys use
/u/setniessesed [5'11" | CW: 145.6 GW: 137? | 19.66 | -14lbs | 20/F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 11:27:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1w0n/how_much_lax_do_you_guys_use/
---
Hey people,


I haven't formally introduced myself but I've been frequenting here and it's a great sub. I binge and restrict, been trying my best to research and help myself to stop but I just caved again after about a week of a mix of normal/restricting eating. I've recently lost some weight and I know I can keep doing it so I'm not too frantic about the calorie thing (I know lax doesn't really help in that regard) but I just want to get all this shit I just threw in my stomach out as soon as possible and minimize the days-long bloat that usually comes after binges.


How much lax do you guys use after a binge to speed up the process? I just took 1 dose, I've taken it before but one dose didn't really have much effect on me and I was wondering if I did something wrong. I've only taken it this time and that time, so I haven't built a resistance or anything.


Honestly I would probably throw up if I wasn't terrified of vomiting; I haven't thrown up since I was in 3rd grade

---

[Rant/Rave] thanks mom again
/u/Myuuji [169 | 51.6 | 18.07 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 11:24:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1vfg/thanks_mom_again/
---
I asked my mom if she had any belts (My pants are too big) and she found a belt she used to wear my age. While handing it to me she just had to make the comment on how she used to fit the smallest hole, while I can't. This is the same mom who is overweight now and tells me I've become too skinny. However it was okay to make fun of me when I was a bit heavier? Told her i weighed 55kg, and she just laughed at me and said, yeah, maybe a while ago. The same person who grabbed my lovehandles and just feel like she can comment about my body all the time because she is overweight? Like whatever she says is nullified because she adds: "oh yeah, well you wanna switch bodies?" No. I don't. But you don't have the right to make fun of mine because you've become fat.

---

[Rant/Rave] "Recovery" is messed up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 10:57:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1qbb/recovery_is_messed_up/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 28 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1g0b/daily_food_diary_july_28_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] adrafinil?
/u/wildstylemeth0d
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:48:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1dfe/adrafinil/
---
Has anyone tried this for appetite suppresion before?

My coworkers all take this, I work in a Wall Street type office. I asked them what it's like, etc, and they said it's basically adderall. In fact, alot of them take it and then drink energy drinks all day long.

I'm super curious to hear your thoughts.

---

[Help] Nooooo
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:36:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1b7g/nooooo/
---
I just found out my therapist isn't with the practice she was anymore. No explanation, she hasn't answered texts and I haven't seen her in a month. I'm freaking out. Remind me binging will not help this.

EDIT
The office did offer to have me see someone else there or refer me or, but dammit I want to keep seeing my therapist. Or at least know what happened. I'm hoping she replies to my text by the end of the weekend. It's just so sudden it's weirding me or.

On mobile, can't flair.

---

[Discussion] I'm dumb and just realized I had Trader Joe's LOL What's your favorite products?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:34:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1av9/im_dumb_and_just_realized_i_had_trader_joes_lol/
---
I'm going this weekend cause I'll already be in Tulsa for a Jim Gaffigan Show! Woot!

So what are you guys' favorite low cal stuff from there? Perishable or not.

I personally prefer pescatarian products, but post whatever!

Try to include calorie counts if you can c:

---

[Meme/Humor] How I feel after a binge...
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:31:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1a9t/how_i_feel_after_a_binge/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/71b41d8f3fab414d9cecd989bdfec9e4?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=93b3822526aeeff237c26c9d4696e4b5

---

[Discussion] Do movies / tv shows trigger anyone else's ED?
/u/imnotofuckingkay [47 in | 68 lbs | 21.5 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:06:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v15sa/do_movies_tv_shows_trigger_anyone_elses_ed/
---
I've recently relapsed into my ED and I'm finding that I can't really watch any movies or tv shows because I get so fixated on how skinny and beautiful everyone is. I feel like I can't enjoy any entertainment anymore without focusing on weight.

If this does trigger you - how do you at least still enjoy what you're watching?

---

[Discussion] Tell Me I'm Fat (This American Life)
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:00:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v14va/tell_me_im_fat_this_american_life/
---
A few weeks ago I voiced the opinion to some friends that I thought the fat acceptance movement was a load of horse crap. I don’t think fat people should hate themselves, or be treated like second class citizens. Everyone deserves respect and they shouldn’t be dehumanized. However I also don’t think they should be celebrated for being morbidly obese. People don’t generally see someone hugely underweight, you know a slight cold will kill them in hospital underweight, and give them a high five and tell them ‘healthy at every size’. Telling someone morbidly obese that they should be happy with their weight would be just as bad as congratulating someone very underweight.

I was really kind of surprised that my friends looked so shocked. It was as if I had said something really offensive. Someone suggested I listen to the This American Life podcast ‘Tell me I’m Fat’ because it shows both sides of the story and would put it all in perspective for me.

So I listened to it, because I love This American Life and wanted to hear what they had to say. I was really surprised by how unmoved I was. They have a fat woman talking about accepting her body for how it is. Okay if she is happy good for her. But happy and healthy are different things, and to be honest she annoyed me. Then you have a formerly obese woman who used surgery, weight loss pills and diet to lose a lot of weight very quickly and refers to how differently she is treated now she is thin. She says people give her stuff for free in the deli when she runs out of money (erm where do I sign up??) and everyone is much nicer to her. Well maybe you smile more now? Maybe you are happier?
But everyone I have talked to about this podcast said they came away from it feeling so bad for fat people, and so much more understanding of the pressure and difficulty they face. I feel like I didn’t even listen to the same thing. Anyone else here listened to it? Am I missing something? Am I just a bitch?

Here’s the link:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/589/tell-me-im-fat

Edit: formatting

---

[Discussion] Would you rather. ED edition.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Jul 28 08:47:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v12he/would_you_rather_ed_edition/
---
A comment in another fun question got me thinking .



Would you rather...

Win the lottery let's say 3 million,

Or

Stay at your CW forever never losing nor gaining despite what you eat.

---

[Help] OMG! Surprise vacation from my boyfriend! So excited! But also nervous because I'm not skinny enough ;A;
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 28 08:04:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0uw4/omg_surprise_vacation_from_my_boyfriend_so/
---
Sooo, I live in Oklahoma, and my boyfriend just booked us flights to Cali last night for a week vacation! Omg! We'll be going to Disneyland and possibly Universal Studios! We'll be planning the rest of the trip tonight. He planned for us to be staying with his married friends, so we'll save on hotel cost.

But then it hit me... #1 I'm not cute enough yet to go to Disneyland and take pictures with him. I'm still big and gross.

And then #2 .. we're flying.. can I bring safe food? will his friends think I'm weird for having it?

So now I'm stressed.

Tell me guys.. How much weight can I lose by the 9th?

And can I smuggle lettuce, cherry tomatoes, dressing, almond milk, and cottage cheese on a plane?!?

---

[Help] Not sure if this is allowed here but how many calories do you think are in this salad?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 07:51:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0slh/not_sure_if_this_is_allowed_here_but_how_many/
---
http://imgur.com/a/I7DjZ

---

[Help] My therapist and I havent met for over a month. Now I don't know what to say
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 07:37:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0qbr/my_therapist_and_i_havent_met_for_over_a_month/
---
When she left for 2 weeks, I was supposedly beginning my 1400 a day plan. That worked for awhile. Then i started my month long intensive course and the stress + schedule brought me into a binge/restrict cycle. And now that it's all done, ive been heavily restricting (successfully) for the past 5 days. But now i have to see my therapist. And i dont want to admit that ive gone into restricting again. Id prefer to lie. But then idk what to talk about for an hour. We could talk about my now almost 4 years ago rape, but im really not all that shaken up about it recently and i think that would show. I dunno, have any of you successfully deceived therapists?

---

[Tip] Daily Intake calculator
/u/rachelcoiling [5'5" | 148 | 24.74 | -61 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 07:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0obn/daily_intake_calculator/
---
So, I spend like 50% of my life working on spreadsheets and statistics, and I figured I'd share the Excel chart I created to help calculate my daily caloric intake.

Go to "File --> Download As" to download your own copy, and enter your own personal stats in the **blue** fields in Column B. *Don't edit any of the other fields*, or the formulas won't work. Tab A is Imperial; Tab B is Metric. It'll ask you for your:

* B1. Current Weight
* B4. Height
* B5. Age in Years
* B9. Goal Weight
* B11. Goal Date

Cell E9 will automatically calculate how many calories you'd have to consume (based on your AMR and goals) per day to reach that goal in the amount of time you've allotted. I have a lot of fun playing with this, just because I like to adjust the numbers and see different possible outcomes. Hopefully you find it entertaining too!

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1iRpEnRlfwxPniFQzCNTxftXJ13PxHsDdn0Fv67wz_jc

---

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support July 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 28 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0cju/weekly_emotional_support_july_28_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] [rant] Low point, yay
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | FAT AF | Binging is shite | 21 / F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 04:20:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0098/rant_low_point_yay/
---
so first of all excuse any mistakes, i am on mobile and very shite at typing on a phone

so, in may i was as my low weight of 47 kg, bmi of 18ish

i looked good waa confident and determined tp reaxh 45 (aka ugw) by august

then i had a breakdown, and more binges than i can count, and gained 6kg (12 fuxking pounds)

i feel fat and ugly and shite and hate everything (my gran sayong i'm getting thinner and thinner only making me angry)

o try to faat and restrict but i am so fucking weak

my family thinks my ed is 'over' as i look normal and as they see me eat, and somehow that makes me angry too

also i started smoking again... because nikotine is appetite supressing

wow i am so shite

i basically changed so mich, just because of the ed

i dont drink becaise caloroes, i drink coffee blaxk because caloroes, i walk eveywhere insyead of taking tje bus becaise calories....

and i am fat and horrible even if i do this because i am weak and eat and food is horrible

anyway, i hope i can get a grip again, and here i have to thank this community again because you are all so amazing

being skinny is everything i have, as i am a boring, uninteresting and stupid person

sorry for the rant and cheers for listening xP

---

[Rant/Rave] I can't do this anymore.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 01:49:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzk7v/i_cant_do_this_anymore/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] What it's like to date a monster:
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Thu Jul 28 01:19:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzgvf/what_its_like_to_date_a_monster/
---
Well, a storm blew open my balcony door. I was on my way home from a long day at work when I see a text from my neighbor: "Isn't this your cat?" with a picture of my wet, scared, crying baby. The text had been sent two hours ago.

I speed home, racking my brain to figure out how my cat got out of my secured apartment on the third floor, how he got out of his "kitty suite", the wing of the house we shut him in when we go to work, and if he made it in the busy street I live on. Long story short, I yelled at my neighbor's for not letting him in, searched for him in stocking feet, screaming for two hours, threatened to kill my neighbors and their families, shoved my boyfriend, binged and purged 1,000 calories in fifteen minutes, called my boyfriend every cruel name in the book. I bathed my cat, whose back paws are sore, and who needs to go to the doctor. And now I'm just trying to figure out how I lost so much control.

Thanks for listening.

---

[Other] "Control - Halsey", a fantastic ed song.
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Thu Jul 28 00:59:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzei9/control_halsey_a_fantastic_ed_song/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8V5dAli-Q&ab_channel=HalseyVEVO

---

[Discussion] Is there a difference between fasting and restricting?
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Thu Jul 28 00:48:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzd9l/is_there_a_difference_between_fasting_and/
---
I suppose 0 calories versus say, 100-500 calories.

Is there any difference though in what your body does? Ive been reading up and I think that even low calorie (500 say) is actually worse for your body and weight loss goals than absolute fasting.

Also, is there a difference mentally? It is exponentially easier to fast than it is to stick to 500 calories personally.

---

[Other] anti-binge motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 28 00:35:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzbqk/antibinge_motivation/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUtKhNIOOpQ

---

[Other] Conversation with My Roommate
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Thu Jul 28 00:22:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uza7r/conversation_with_my_roommate/
---
I was playing a video game and my roommate just came in and said,"...nevermind you're not going to eat it anyways," and walked out. He's making orange chicken.

On the one hand, he doesn't try to make me eat his food anymore. On the other, damn I'm hella obvious. Oops. :/

---

[Thinspo] Getting ready to work out. Need to make more progress.
/u/duckybird0407
Created: Wed Jul 27 22:19:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uyux1/getting_ready_to_work_out_need_to_make_more/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/3f477c969ac14f389154d9b993c8b15e?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=6a9ba23dd64e163a89aea5716b033afb

---

[Other] Came back from exercising and felt kinda good about this one
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:34:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uyow3/came_back_from_exercising_and_felt_kinda_good/
---
http://imgur.com/Ayyek5H

---

[Rant/Rave] We love you Glitter_Cunt !!!!
/u/strongerthanyouknow [5'5" |145 |24.4 | -12 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:25:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uynnx/we_love_you_glitter_cunt/
---
https://imgflip.com/gif/182i56#iEWb8HX7hjH66Ydx.16

---

[Thinspo] She's perfect
/u/duckybird0407
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:17:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uymlc/shes_perfect/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/1e045d371c9a4b08b3a7c25aa8c57d56?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=13443b8983967d64d4650500cce89b3e

---

[Goal] My "thin" clothes are now my "fat" clothes!!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:11:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uylpw/my_thin_clothes_are_now_my_fat_clothes/
---
So all the dresses that I used to wear when I felt particularly thin (usually on fasting days) are now the dresses that I wear when I feel really bloated and fat! I realized that when I went to wear one and it just did not shape to me and *made* me look fat. Like holy shit! The stuff I used to feel thin in no longer fits!

---

[Rant/Rave] What am i even doing? [a drunken existential rant about relapse and its bullshit]
/u/problematticc [5'4 | no | 666 |-666 | satan]
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:01:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uykbn/what_am_i_even_doing_a_drunken_existential_rant/
---
for the past couple of weeks (months?) i have been frequenting fringe dieting forums and this subreddit more often than i have in the past couple of YEARs. I thought i was over this "phase" and that i'd be okay with my weight and body image when i got to my goal weight but i was wrong and i don't know how to stop, and i don't even WANT to

today i ate less than 800 calories and i'm proud of myself for that - even though i know i can do better

i haven't been this bad off since myspace was still that thing

i know this is a problem but i don't want to think about it or work on it until you can see it killing me physically and that makes me so happy

oh god what the fuck

---

[Thinspo] Tiny thigh
/u/duckybird0407
Created: Wed Jul 27 20:59:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uyk58/tiny_thigh/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/4bf6b33d8123409ca15671a1fa6c7ab3?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=b0b9459424a45f4d6e857df606daa00a

---

[Rant/Rave] Day 8: Dear food diary...why the fuck won't the scale move
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 20:15:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uydru/day_8_dear_food_diarywhy_the_fuck_wont_the_scale/
---
I am still the exact same weight, to the tenth of a pound, that I was three days ago. I've been eating within my limits and exercising like I should, and trying to drink plenty of water. Scale still won't budge. RAGE. Maybe now that shark week is finally over I might be able to finally shed this weight. This morning the scale had magazines on it? Would that affect the reading somehow?

---

Do I have an ulcer?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:53:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uyaht/do_i_have_an_ulcer/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] You wake up one morning to discover that for 24 hours calories don't count. No matter how much you consume you will not gain a SINGLE pound. Whats your day gonna look like?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy9sf/you_wake_up_one_morning_to_discover_that_for_24/
---
For me, First things first, I'm not going to work or too school. Im going to head straight for my favorite diner, Im gonna get a large chicken noodle soup with a cheese burger club with extra cheese, and extra pickles with fries. Then for Lunch I'm gonna go to my favorite sandwich place and get a 12inch italian double meat sub with a family sized bag of cool ranch doritos. Then for dinner I'm gonna have an extra large greek salad with extra feta cheese and grilled chicken with toasted bread. And for dessert a big ass cheese cake. <3

---

[Tip] Don't forget to be happy.
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:32:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy78k/dont_forget_to_be_happy/
---
Having an ED takes away all the good things in your life. When friends ask you to go somewhere you turn them down because you cant risk there being food, so people stop inviting you places.

Your family can't know that you have an ED so you hide and hope that they don't catch you b/p or wonder why you're not eating.

You can't tell anyone at school or at work because they won't understand or they will shun you.

These thoughts came to me recently when I finally after 3 months hit my GW and my first thought was NOT "Wow look how far I've come!!!" my thought was actually "Okay so my next goal weight should be another 5 pounds" I didn't take the time to congratulate myself.

My point is, find happiness in one thing. Even if its not binging for one day, or denying yourself that cookie you really wanted, or recovering or what ever it is. Don't forget to celebrate who you are.

---

[Help] Ephedrine?
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy67m/ephedrine/
---
for those of you who take ephedrine, i have a few questions before i start taking it myself.
first of all, has it actually helped you to lose weight? have you noticed a significant difference?
and also, are there any negative side effects that you've noticed?
thank you in advance for any answers!

---

[Rant/Rave] Sometimes you get lucky
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:20:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy5dp/sometimes_you_get_lucky/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] This is messing up my head. (more in comments)
/u/strongerthanyouknow [5'5" |145 |24.4 | -12 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:11:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy401/this_is_messing_up_my_head_more_in_comments/
---
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/news/a61925/kelsey-wells-scale-instagram-post/

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so angry :(
/u/fxuk [5'3 | CW: 78 lbs | GW: 75 lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:09:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy3ny/im_so_angry/
---
So today I knew I was going out to dinner with friends. I looked up the menu online and saw that they have soups, like minestrone, chicken noodle. etc. I was DEAD SET on getting a cup/bowl of minestrone soup. They didn't have calorie counts but I was planning on just logging on the highest number from a restaurant on MFP, so like 230. I was excited because I only had 100 other calories today, from Siggi's Yogurt. It was going to be a low cal day. Yay!! But No.

I get to the restaurant and I don't eat any soup on the menu except "Soup of the day". So when the waiter comes I ask what that soup is and she says "Oh, since it's so hot out we aren't serving soup in the summer..." So I was like "Oh ok!" Shoot. I look at the menu and try to find anything low cal...Its all pizza and pasta. I find a hummus plate with vegetables and order that.

So the food comes and the hummus plate is a lot smaller than I would think it would be. Mostly celery, carrots, and a super small portion of hummus, (almost too small tbh) like compared to a normal restaurant hummus plate. So I was happy I could eat it without being too scared. Unfortunetly, my friends both ordered a pasta dish and a pizza for us to "share" (I told them before I wasn't in the mood for pizza) but as I ate my hummus plate they kept bringing up how I wasn't eating the pizza. It was so ANNOYING. And then one of them poked my rip and told me to eat cake. I was getting pissed so I went to the bathroom. And when I came back they put two slices on my plate and FORCED me to eat it. I was getting really stressed out and they were laughing and making a big deal out of How pissed Inwas getting so I just downed the two slices. UGH I weighed myself when I got home and gained weight :( Even after I peed. I'm SO ANGRYYY

They almost forced me to eat dessert but after hearing that the restaurant didn't have many choices they decided against it. Thank god

---

[Discussion] Is "orthorexia" really a thing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:08:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy3jd/is_orthorexia_really_a_thing/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] starting a 30 day fast to finally get back in control
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 139.6lb | 20.59/20.89 | -13.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:02:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy2mu/starting_a_30_day_fast_to_finally_get_back_in/
---
http://i.imgur.com/XfWLIqlh.jpg

---

[Help] Running probs (a bit TMI)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy2kw/running_probs_a_bit_tmi/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Had someone try to use fat logic on me (rant/rave)
/u/Superderg
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:00:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy2bi/had_someone_try_to_use_fat_logic_on_me_rantrave/
---
Sorry can't flair on mobile.but I've been telling 2 of my good friends how much I hate my body and want to lose weight again. My male friends logic was that he finds me sexy so just be happy. Her logic (she's even heavier than I am) is that jiggly is popular and guys like a bigger girl. My guy friend thinks I should just be super confident and happy with my fat blob body when I could be stunning skinny. Like I naturally have an hourglass shape, even 45 lbs overweight. I would be so absolutely gorgeous skinny but they think I should stay fat. Like ugh, just let me be thin!!

---

[Intro] New here. Is this actually bad...? I don't know what to do.
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [156 cm | 52.5 kg | 22.45 | -6 kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 18:40:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxzba/new_here_is_this_actually_bad_i_dont_know_what_to/
---
I know it's kind of a loaded question, considering where this is, but this community seems a lot more self-aware than other places I've looked. (MFP, especially...)

First off: hi! I found this sub in the askreddit thread and have been lurking for a while. At first I was appalled because I didn't understand it, but the longer I lurked, the better this place seemed.

My doctor told me that she thought I had an ED after I mentioned I'd started a diet. I completely disregarded her opinion. It's bad, but all I could think was, "This woman is morbidly obese. She couldn't possibly know what a normal diet is." MFP forums said the same thing as her (and even banned me...), but I blew them off too because they were trotting out tired myths like "starvation mode," "your metabolism is a furnace," etc. etc.

Compared to you guys, I really don't feel like I restrict at all. But... I do exercise a lot. I wear a pedometer everywhere. I generally clock in 12-13,000 steps on my morning run and another 8,000 at work, then I fill in extra in the evening after it's cooled down. This amounts to a daily goal of at least 30,000 steps while eating 1200 calories. On good days I get 40,000-50,000 steps. I don't know exactly how much I burn (everyone says calorie calculators are inaccurate), but I've been losing about 1kg per week.

Can this actually hurt me in the long term? People keep telling me that I'm losing too much weight, that I don't eat enough, but I don't think I can trust them because they're all overweight. I just want to weigh 45kgs. That's not a bad weight. And 1200 calories is the minimum women are supposed to eat, so it can't be too bad if I'm getting at least that, right?

I keep telling myself this, but finding this sub made me realize: even if I knew it was unhealthy, even if literally everyone told me to stop, I don't think I would. And now I'm starting to wonder if my doctor was right.

---

[Rant/Rave] Feeling shitty
/u/yummmies [5'4" | 130 | -35 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 18:38:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxyys/feeling_shitty/
---
I wanted to water/no-cal drink fast from dinner Tuesday to lunch Thursday, but I just felt so shitty and shaky that I broke my fast with some cucumber and salt. Like I know that's less than 30 kcals, but man do I feel shitty about this. I can't even fast for a day. Last time I fasted, not only did I not manage to fully water fast again, but my blood sugar bottomed out over night and I binged on a breakfast that I didn't want to eat. I have a granola bar ready this time, but what's the point of fasting if I'm gonna go over my calorie limit the next day. Why is this so hard. Sorry guys, I'm just feeling down.

---

[Rant/Rave] Mindless pre-period eating
/u/sweetmoo
Created: Wed Jul 27 17:44:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxq3w/mindless_preperiod_eating/
---
Hi y'all. To preface, I have an abnormal period (every 40-45 days or so, no BC). I am at my lowest weight at 5'5, 125-128 lb give or take.

My pre-menstrual hunger the past two months has been out of this world!! I aim for 1400 or so cals a day (much of it alcohol, don't want to disclose how much), work a physically intensive job and live on a farm (work after work.) I am ok with eating about four hundred cals more than my standard 1400 because I know I burn a lot of energy. I have a higher intake: it's a reasonable existence. Sometimes I eat way less.

But the pre period binges...man!! I try to just satisfy them by eating a bit more (more veg, more fruit) or exercising/working more, but dang!

How do you all feel about your PMS hunger and cravings, if you feel them at all?

---

[Discussion] I'm not normally a morning person but...
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 17:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxm4c/im_not_normally_a_morning_person_but/
---
When I'm not restricting I the mornings. I hate alarms and waking up and basically starting my day.

But when I know I've restricted properly and there should be a loss on the scale I practically jump up and run to the bathroom each morning to check the second my alarm goes off. I then have a little victory dance and I'm all set to start my day (after checking ProED and putting my news stats into all my weight counter apps)

Anyone else love getting up to weigh themselves?

[discussion] on mobile can't flair sorry

---

[Discussion] Maybe a Target Food Diary for next day
/u/madamdepompadour
Created: Wed Jul 27 16:49:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxh20/maybe_a_target_food_diary_for_next_day/
---
In addition to the Daily food diary may be helpful.

My target tomorrow is max 500 cals so posting it here will help me (i hope) committ to it

---

[Discussion] Could this just be restriction, without an eating disorder?
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:54:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux7cr/could_this_just_be_restriction_without_an_eating/
---
I'm coming off 3-4 years of solid recovery and everything just feels so different I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't even a lapse/relapse. When my ED first started, it was actually more like exercise bulimia. I had such a hard time restricting because anything related to food was so emotion based. After a few years I moved into the full on restriction and that's what got me into enough trouble with my health that I was pushed into recovery and eventually decided I'd stick with it.

But this time around, it's so easy. Right now I'm at around 800-1000 calories a day while burning about 2300-2500 off. I also feel like I'm eating more intuitively? Like the other day I really wanted a grilled cheese, so I bought some light cheese/bread and worked that into my intake. Today I just want some chocolate covered almonds, so I made sure I had enough left over to fit those in. I haven't binged since I started restricting again. I had one planned b/p session but the whole time I knew I didn't even want to do it. This is so different from the narrative the last time around.

There's no anxiety or turmoil like there was last time. I feel like maybe I'm just dieting (albeit a bit more extremely than most would). After all, a lot of my ED behaviours (weighing/measuring religiously, counting calories and writing all my intake in a journal, burning a certain number of calories per workout, etc. etc.) are all things that the diet world celebrates.

But another part of me thinks this might just be the honeymoon phase, and all the shit that comes with the ED behaviours will show up soon enough. I set my goal to lose 0.2 pounds per day but I'm definitely eating at a bigger deficit than that and feel like shit if 0.2 is all I lose.

Meh, I don't know, this is just uncharted territory. Do you think you can restrict/engage in behaviours without the actual eating disorder?

---

[Discussion] Qs on C&S and thinspo
/u/thinkerbell219 [5'2"| 145 | 26.5 |-12 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:44:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux5sn/qs_on_cs_and_thinspo/
---
Hi,
Hope you all are well. Just wondering if this happens to anyone else.... I don't C&S that often but I noticed when I do, about five minutes after I'm done my asthma acts up and I'm wheezing a bit and sometimes I feel like my throat is tight. I rinse my mouth really well and usually drink about 24 Oz of water after.

Also, does anyone have any good thinspo for short girls? I am only 5'2" and I feel like all the thinspo I see the girls are much taller and it makes it kind of seem less realistic for some reason.

Thank you 🐱

---

[Other] I think I better go for a walk or eat something!
/u/oksneaky [63in | CW: 125.8| -13.2 | GW:UNDER 120 BY 9/15 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:38:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux4ps/i_think_i_better_go_for_a_walk_or_eat_something/
---
https://postimg.org/image/fobtky57b/

---

[Discussion] When you go to the grocery store just for Halo Top and PB2...
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:30:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux3al/when_you_go_to_the_grocery_store_just_for_halo/
---
https://i.redd.it/qgtkgiyflubx.jpg

---

[Discussion] Little survey I made for fun!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 94 | 15.2 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:27:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux2qo/little_survey_i_made_for_fun/
---
I was talking about astrological signs with someone and I got curious what everyone's here was! Personally I don't put much stock in signs and predictions or whatever, but I do think it'd be interesting to see if there's a majority of certain ones here or not.. Anyway! [Here] (https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/W96LGR2) is the link! I'll post results soon! And feel free to comment to chat about your sign and whether you believe in astrology at all and why! :)

---

[Rant/Rave] I had an argument with my boyfriend and so just now comfort ate a whole extra large cucumber. It wasn't even sliced.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 27 14:32:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwsjw/i_had_an_argument_with_my_boyfriend_and_so_just/
---
So there's that.

May as well have been Ben and Jerry's, how guilty I still feel over eating it.

Why do I have to have such a weird brain.

---

[Discussion] Do you work out when you restrict?
/u/Hideo_Kojima_
Created: Wed Jul 27 14:28:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwrw6/do_you_work_out_when_you_restrict/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwrw6/do_you_work_out_when_you_restrict/

---

[Thinspo] Thinspo songs?
/u/tbuicoe
Created: Wed Jul 27 14:22:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwqs9/thinspo_songs/
---
I thought it would be cool to share any thinspo songs that you guys listen to motivate yourselves or stave off binges!

My main songs would be:

"Scars to Your Beautiful" - Alessia Cara
**She has dreams to be an envy, so she's starving
You know, "covergirls eat nothing"
She says "beauty is pain and there's beauty in everything"
"What's a little bit of hunger?"
"I could go a little while longer", she fades away**


Skinny Love - Birdy (cover)
**Come on skinny love just last the year,
Pour a little salt we were never here,
My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my...
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer.
Tell my love to wreck it all,
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall...**

Mae - Gaslight Anthem
**Stay the same, don’t ever change
Cause I’d miss your ways
With your Bette Davis eyes
And your mama's party dress**

---

[Other] Does anyone feel like binging?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Jul 27 14:13:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwp0b/does_anyone_feel_like_binging/
---
http://i.imgur.com/aa0A9nw.jpg

---

[Discussion] Any other poly folks out there? I keep comparing myself to my bf's new girl and it's getting to me.
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 13:11:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwcjk/any_other_poly_folks_out_there_i_keep_comparing/
---
So my bf and I are polyamorous which means we see other people too. When we started dating I was right around the same size as I am now and I thought he liked that. I learned along the way that he really likes thick girls (aka thicker than me) and am reminded of that every so often like this past weekend when he looked my body and said I looked boney the way I was laying on top of him and had a look of disgust on his face. He tried to back track and tell me a few times after that that I look great/amazing but all I remember is the look on his face and how ugly I felt in that moment. A couple of months ago he was talking to a girl who he said was on the higher weight side of what he liked and then she sent him a picture where she looked a little heavier and he completely lost interest. Now he's started to see someone else, they've slept together, and he seems really into her. I saw a full body picture of her for the first time yesterday and I can't believe it, she's a mini-moon and she's bigger than the first girl that he stopped talking to. My first bf was very rural (country) and I knew he preferred bigger girls, I was 200lbs when we were dating so that was fine, so when I lost all the weight and asked what he think I never took his "you look so good" seriously figuring he was telling me what I wanted to hear. Now seeing what this girl looks like all I can think is that this is what my bf really wants a girl to look like and he thinks my body is hideous. But I also can't really talk to him about this because I'm really turned off by this girl he's chosen but how do you say that to someone? "Your new girl is really fat, is that really what you like?" Just look at [this](http://imgur.com/a/TBQ19) photo with me on the left (bottom picture I'm in the middle) and her on the right. I honestly don't understand it and it's starting to get to me making me want to restrict even more because as I look at her body it's scary enough to remind me I don't want to be anywhere near that size again, but also making me want to binge to spite him and maybe give him what he wants? I want to be someone that he can't take his eyes/hands off of and I'm just not.

---

[Discussion] New title added to PDF library on Google Drive: 'Elena Vanishing'
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 13:00:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwaii/new_title_added_to_pdf_library_on_google_drive/
---
Click [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNb2J4VzZYZ2g3Y2s) to read Elena Vanishing: A Memoir!

Here is some stuff I've posted on the sub before *(click* [*here*](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5080s5/i_know_weve_done_this_thread_before_but/d72klwe) *for book covers and summaries)*:

- **[Google Drive](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNZFRrSmUwdGhXUWc) - Novels**
* [Boys Get Anorexia Too](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNY3V5WGdPWjJoeFE) (Jenny Langley)
* [Brave Girl Eating](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNRkVPN2FhNldxMkE) (Harriet Brown)
* [Clean](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNMVg3NkhmYUotbGs) (Reed, Amy)
* [Eat - STOP - Eat](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNd3kxZXNsSXV4b3M) (Brad Pilon)
* [Fasting Girls](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNZGRhQWlxZVBKSEk) (Joan Jacobs Brumberg)
* [Fighting With Me](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNdGlUX0VUT1hHOG8) (Anonymous)
* [Hunger Point](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNSVdmTVZ4b1dxTXc) (Jillian Medoff)
* [Kid Rex](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNcmV2ZmF2ZkJudU0) (Laura Moisin)
* [Letting Ana Go](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNaE1UMXBlcFlwLWc) (Anonymous)
* [My Perfect Little Secret](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNaTA2MWV0U3RaQ2s) (Rebecca Coppage)
* [Purge - Rehab Diaries](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNQkE1Z1JnLVpiT1E) (Nicole Johns)
* [Second Star to the Right](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNZS1JZllaSXJ6RGs) (Deborah Hautzig)
* [Skinny](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNU21Uak91aW01b2s) (Ibi Kaslik)
* [Skinny](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNeENpendTVDZQM00) (Laura L. Smith)
* [Skinny Bitch](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNSGMtYXlqZW9JWk0) (Rory Freedman & Kim Barnouin)
* [Skinny Boy](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNeUwwWXR4R19HWEE) (Gary Grahl)
* [Thin](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By-hpW96C5yNaUx2bHl5dkhDam8/view) (Grace Bowman)
* [Thinspo](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNd1BKRkt4b29Pb2s) (Amy Ellis)
* [Unbearable Lightness - A Story of Loss and Gain](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNb0hVZ2hyalk5MEE) (Portia de Rossi)
* [Wasted](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNNWFFcTZtSHJWU2c) (Marya Hornbacher)
* [Wintergirls](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNclhRcy1EQkFIZEE) (Laurie Halse Anderson)
- **Imgur - Manga & Graphic Novels**
- [Blood Slurping Darkness](http://imgur.com/a/Hw0tj) (Junji Ito) [Manga] [Horror, Supernatural]
- [Fasting](http://imgur.com/a/F400R) (Kazuo Umezuhisashi) [Manga] [Illustrated Violence]
- [Helter Skelter](http://imgur.com/a/YkPRZ) (Kyoko Okazaki): Through extensive plastic surgery and vigorous maintenance, Ririko has become wildly successful as the absolute manifestation of beauty. Soon, however, her body and body begins to crumble as she plummets towards a frightening and inevitable end. [Manga] [Illustrated Nudity+Sex]
- [I Do Not Have An Eating Disorder](http://imgur.com/a/VPTfB) by Khale McHurst [Autobiographical Webcomic] [Self Harm, Suicidal Ideations] [Illustrated Nudity]
- [In The Clothes Named Fat](http://imgur.com/a/hxJNy) (Moyoko Anno) [Manga] [Illustrated Nudity+Sex]
- [Miracle Dieter Miyuki Vol 1](http://imgur.com/a/U2iaf) (Takaguchi Satosumi): Chubby Yukimi finds a magical dumbbell that transforms her into Miracle Dieter, who, alongside Shape-up Cat Amino and Calorie-check Mouse Kuen, must battle an evil chef who tempts young girls with calorie-rich treats and dubious weight loss products [Manga] [Silly]
- [Screaming Lessons 029: The Requirements of a Belle](http://imgur.com/a/cNRG1) (Ishikawa Emi) [Manga] [Horror]

*****

From /u/HellAbove:
> For kindle people: http://ebook.online-convert.com/convert-to-mobi :*

---

[Discussion] Conversation with a Co-Worker
/u/cwinch [6'1''|196 | 25.07 | 71lbs | M]
Created: Wed Jul 27 12:54:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uw9bz/conversation_with_a_coworker/
---
"What did you have for breakfast today?"-CW

"Adderall, coffee and lemon juice."-Me

blank stare...-CW

Just ED things.

---

[Rant/Rave] Will it ever be enough?
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:118 | BMI:20.66 | GW:108 | F -10lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 27 12:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uw8b1/will_it_ever_be_enough/
---
First off, I'm sorry because this is such a stupid rant, but I can't stop thinking about it.

I've been seeing this guy and we slept together for the first time last weekend and it was great. So he keeps saying things like, "you're so skinny, it's super hot." And I just.....I don't know. On the one hand it's great to hear that, but god is it making me question my self worth. Like if we had met when I was ten pounds heavier would he have not been into me? The funny thing is it's only making me push myself harder to restrict, because even though he thinks I'm thin enough all I can see are those parts that aren't where I want them to be. I don't know how much I've lost, I'm afraid to look at the scale just in case it isn't what I thought it'd be. All I know is that barely any of my clothes fit anymore and this guy keeps telling me how skinny I am, but guess what...it still isn't enough.

Again, sorry about this, I just needed to get it out of my head.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so excited and you guys are the first people I want to tell :D
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 27 12:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uw7nd/im_so_excited_and_you_guys_are_the_first_people_i/
---
[deleted]

---

[Intro] Longtime Lurker- Intro
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:133 lbs | BMI 19.6 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Wed Jul 27 12:16:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uw20a/longtime_lurker_intro/
---
Hello everyone,

I've been lurking this subreddit for a long time. Now, Im hoping to join this wonderful community!<3 Here is a little bit of backstory ,while still trying to maintain my anonymity :

- Shitty Go at Life (rather not go into details)

- Mental Health Worsened: Depression + Anorexia (Hence the username)

- Was recently hospitalized in inpatient for two weeks, at a LW of 104lbs (forced to go by therapist and parents - hated every second)

- Currently in "recovery" (lol)

I only have a couple sessions left before I am moving far away. When I move, I plan to break all ties to therapy and embrace the soothing voice of Ana once again. Until then, I can't restrict too much, but I am going to try my best...


I'm looking forward to meeting wonderful people here in this community <3.

---

[Help] The "not knowing how many cals you eat leads to a binge" thing. Plus another question..
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 11:42:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvved/the_not_knowing_how_many_cals_you_eat_leads_to_a/
---
I've read a lot here that when some people eat something and cant count the calories accurately it leads to a binge for them. I was curious about this because when I'm unsure of the calories, I usually over guesstimate and that ends up (more than likely) making my total for the day a lot lower than what I might have guessed. I guess this is more of a tip, but I just never understood the mind set on it if anyone cares to elaborate.


Second, I'm 8 lbs away from my goal. Last time I hit my GW I did the predictable thing and over celebrated by ballooning back to my CW, hah! This time when I hit my GW does anyone have tips on how to maintain? Like celebrate after I've maintained the weight for a week or something?

---

[Thinspo] New phone background this week!
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 11:31:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvtd0/new_phone_background_this_week/
---
http://imgur.com/MTPuGp9

---

[Goal] 47/100 of fast complete;dreaming about food *trigger food warning*
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 11:15:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvqcm/47100_of_fast_completedreaming_about_food_trigger/
---
I am almost 48 into my 100 fast and I'm starting to feel it affect me. I'm extremely hungry and nauseous and I feel very weak. I decided to extend my fast from 72 hours to 100. I should say I've never completed a fast, so I am looking forward to doing this. I also decided to hold up on starting my diet pills as I have no idea their side effects. Last night I dreamt of so many donuts, warm and glazed and in my dream, to my horror, I ate so many donuts. I also dreamed of pulled pork and hushpuppies (southern comfort food) which I can only assume I'm craving. My roommate ended up moving out and she left food behind for us to have. That includes a box of brown sugar pop-tarts, which are my favorite. It's definitely a struggle to not binge immediately. Also tomorrow my best friend is coming home from Ireland after being there for a year, so I'm also afraid I'll binge there. Ugh this is difficult, but at the same time, food literally disgusts me as well. I just want to complete this. Some motivation is that my roommate remarked I looked thinner so there's that! Wish me luck xoxo

---

[Other] I just discovered this sub.
/u/newportshorty [5'9 | fat | 19F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 11:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvo51/i_just_discovered_this_sub/
---
HOW THE HELL. I don't know where I've been, but I'm so happy I've found you guys. I think I've tried searching other terms, but never this. I've already learned of one amazing thing and that is Halo Top ice cream. Good god how did I not know about this!? It's insane. I feel like such a doof! I think I'm going to like it here.

Hope you all have a great day!

---

[Other] Updating flair at the ED clinic. Irony.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:48:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvl7p/updating_flair_at_the_ed_clinic_irony/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvl7p/updating_flair_at_the_ed_clinic_irony/

---

[Goal] Super happy right now!
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:38:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvjkk/super_happy_right_now/
---
As of this morning I am finally back into the 150s (I was 173 July 4th). Still hate my weight but it's going down so I'm happy about that. I ended up trying on my entire vintage clothing collection (over 60 different pieces and my favourites don't fit yet 😔) and I was so excited to find out that a pair of 1930s tap shorts are fitting me now! Two weeks ago they didn't even go up my fat thighs! Can't wait to fit into my super tiny pieces again! My vintage clothing and going through this subreddit give me so much motivation and hope. I hope everyone else is on track with their goals as well and can find a small source of happiness in their day!

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so upset (rant/rave)
/u/Dyingtobe
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:30:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvi1x/im_so_upset_rantrave/
---
I'm fat. Just the way it is. Last week my best friend (and exbf) made things official with this girl he's been seeing. So happy for them, adore both of them. But I'm fat and alone and all of a sudden Ana came back with a vengeance. I've been really restricting, exercising as much as I can, but it's been a week so obviously no crazy revelations. But imso sad about being too fat to be loved. Like I moved to this town a year ago, it's way smaller than my last city. Where I lived before i had no problem meeting guys even though I was disgusting. But there are way fewer guys here and I can't get a date to save my life. They all want petite pretty perfect girls. Its just so depressing to feel alone then to have my ed come back and feel alone since I can't really talk to anyone about how much I hate myself right now. I figured you guys would understand. Thanks!

---

[Rant/Rave] So July has kinda been a bust... Jumping into a fast to try and get back on track!
/u/08070427 [5'5" | 127.5 | 21.3 | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:14:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvf8x/so_july_has_kinda_been_a_bust_jumping_into_a_fast/
---
So, this month has kind of been a giant disappointment. Lots of drinking. Lots of food. And not much exercise. Sigh.

Throughout the month though, my weight has been surprising me. In both good and bad ways. After a two day fast last week (my longest since HS I think), I was at 127. I was really shooting for 125, but oh well. After all the crap I put in my body this month, I really couldn't complain too much. But I promised myself after the weekend I'd be back on track 125%. I wanted my hipbones back.

And here I am! 600-700cal on Monday and only low cal liquids yesterday (maybe 120cal in total). And, today I got back on the exercise train! Still going strong with the fast! I'm super tired and feel kinda high, but I know it will pass.

To wrap up up this rant/rave, I decided to kinda pull back on the amount of ab exercises I've been doing. This terrifies the shit out of me because working my abs is the one thing that can always make me feel better. And I'm terrified of my midsection getting squishier. But, I read somewhere that working your abs too much can actually keep your waist from getting thinner and your bones showing. Anyone have any experience in this department?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvczl/daily_food_diary_july_27_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Tip] New diet is going well
/u/likeits2013 [5'8"| 130 lbs | 19.8 BMI | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 09:53:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvba2/new_diet_is_going_well/
---
http://imgur.com/VD8s8oy

---

[Rant/Rave] Angry thoughts I need to get out [long/rant/all over the place/hot mess]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 27 09:28:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uv6o4/angry_thoughts_i_need_to_get_out_longrantall_over/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] SO HARD
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 08:36:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uuwvw/so_hard/
---
http://imgur.com/qF0dlmr

---

[Thinspo] I look through old pictures when I'm hungry
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 27 07:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uup5m/i_look_through_old_pictures_when_im_hungry/
---
http://imgur.com/a/WftAZ

---

[Help] Getting some pretty bad anxiety about an upcoming vacation. Need some help.
/u/gazdaman1 [6'0" 18y/old | 153lb | 20.8 | -30lb | M]
Created: Wed Jul 27 06:58:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uuh1p/getting_some_pretty_bad_anxiety_about_an_upcoming/
---
I'm going to be leaving for university in a few weeks, and because I'm moving across the country, my aunt and uncle want me and my mother to come visit for a few days. I've visited family before, but unlike other members of my extended family, food is a large part of their lives (Portuguese culture places quite a bit of influence on food/mealtimes). Every meal is a big deal, and my aunt likes to cook her favorite Portuguese dishes. Now, if your unfamiliar with Portuguese cuisine, every single meal is filled with meat, oil, cheese, and just generally fatty foods in general. Last time we visited them, I consumed anywhere around 3000-4000kcal of food every day, not including snacks (like the cookies they always happen to leave on the counter).

My anxiety surrounding my ED has gotten worse since the last time we visited, and I can't seem to stop thinking about the massive amounts of food I will probably end up consuming. I'm so close to my GW, and with orientation for uni coming up in a couple of weeks, I don't want to screw up the progress I've already made. I can't refuse to eat and like any loving family member, my aunt likes to push me to eat as much as I can.

I guess I'm asking for tips on how to navigate this situation; I don't have anyone else to talk to about my dilemma except this community. Most of you have experience dealing with problems similar to mine. Any advice/help/words of encouragement? Anyway, thanks for reading.

---

[Rant/Rave] Just had the worst B/P session of my life
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 06:21:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uubhr/just_had_the_worst_bp_session_of_my_life/
---
Hey y'all - on mobile so will flair later.

so I literally just had the worst session so far. I woke up on the bathroom floor, naked, toilet still unflushed and I don't even remember falling asleep.

I've causally purged in the past, but starting from this year it's become more frequent. Once I really started losing from restriction I became terrified of gaining it back but at the same time literally have no self control.

Currently I'm living apart from my parents for the first summer and that's definitely allowed for more ED habits to present itself. When my roommate was still here (she left 3 weeks ago) I was restricting (800 cals) and binging and purging (mostly just purging) about 2~3 times a week. Now it's escalated to where I'm b/ping up to 6 times a day. I have the whole house to myself, nobody will judge me when I pig out on cookie dough or pasta and I don't need to hide throwing up. I never thought I'd specifically buy things to binge and purge on but when I found myself in the grocery store I would buy pastries, chips, etc. for that sole purpose.

I used to be able to at least understand what triggered binges and try to deal with it in a healthy manner, but no idea. I feel like I'm binging for bingings sake and then purging to undo it, which sucks cause I have NO IDEA how to stop it.

My face is swollen af and right now it feels like I have the worst hangover. I felt like shit yesterday too after purging and missed my daily workout which really upset me. I don't know how it snowballed this far and I keep telling myself every binge will be the last one. Honestly, I think I haven't been trying to stop too hard because I'm still losing at an acceptable rate. Does anyone have any advice or tips on how to at least reduce the number of b/ps or make myself feel better?

---

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday July 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 27 06:02:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uu90o/way_to_go_wednesday_july_27_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for July 27, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Intro] intro
/u/lotuslotad [5'6 | 147.2lbs | 24.08 | -20.8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 04:18:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4utwzt/intro/
---
hi all, just a tiny intro from a long time lurker.
I couldn't make an account before as I couldn't bear to put my weight out there on my flair but I feel like I've made enough progress now to be able to hold myself accountable.
Just wanted to say thank you to you all for the content you put out on this thread, you guys are all so amazing <3

---

[Rant/Rave] Update from the grande german tour
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 03:31:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uts6x/update_from_the_grande_german_tour/
---
💖💋👌I FINALLY FOUND A SCALE PRAISE THE LORD!!! 😂🙌💖💖
It turns out I'm only 61.7kg (136lbs) so I didn't gain much at all I'm just ridiculously bloated, which sucks in its own way but better than actual weight gain you know??

Also I've ended up in North Germany so I'm far, far away from all that calorie-overloaded (but tasty) Bavarian food 💕👍

I just wanna say thank you all so much for everything- all the advice, the encouragement, even just posting stuff to keep my feed interesting!! Bless y'all I love you guys so so much!!💋💋💋

---

[Help] ..Okay, I still weigh 97lbs today, was 93 on Saturday. Water weight has never hung round this long for me. Could it still be?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 27 03:22:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4utra7/okay_i_still_weigh_97lbs_today_was_93_on_saturday/
---
93lbs Saturday morning. Ate fair food Saturday, but really didn't go that mad - overeating, but not a binge. Sunday morning, 97lbs - put it down to bloat/water from greasy fair food. Sunday ate a lot, went a bit mad and binged more than I wanted, but not THAT mad.. not 15k+ calories mad at least?! I wouldn't have said anywhere near..

Fasted Monday, 150kcal yesterday.. but still 97lbs today?! I look pudgy still but not round/bloated anymore..

I usually still have a LITTLE water weight hanging round today (Wednesday) after Sunday big eats but not.. not the whole thing?! After fasting/restricting Mon-Tues, a lot of it has gone. And I have had my weekly BM as usual..

I very much doubt I ate enough over the weekend to put on a legit 5lbs?! 1? Possibly.. 2? A stretch, but I'd accept that fuck up. But FIVE?!

Could this still be water weight?! I mean, oh god. Please tell me that's possible? I ate canned tomatoes yesterday.. could that make me retain water? Somehow? Salt?

I even left my workout early because it freaked me out so much :/ I tried to keep it together after weighing myself before my work out, but it ended up giving me a panic attack the more I thought about it.. didn't finish my routine. 2/3 sets (I'm doing a circuit), missed abs completely. I felt so shit I just had to leave. Which I feel guilty about but I'm more panicing about this +5lbs..

As you guys can probably tell from my previous posts, I'm pretty much a mess at the moment in general anyway... but I really, really can't have gained 5lbs over the weekend.. Shiiiit.

---

[Discussion] trying not to binge - so tell me what you're really proud of achieving this year, that you didn't think would happen!
/u/awfuljusttosee [5'5" | 62.2kg | 22.04 | -4.7kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 02:58:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4utoza/trying_not_to_binge_so_tell_me_what_youre_really/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4utoza/trying_not_to_binge_so_tell_me_what_youre_really/

---

[Rant/Rave] some things positive, some things not
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 02:19:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4utl3t/some_things_positive_some_things_not/
---
Hey guys! A few things have happened to me this week. One, I am now at the mercy of the constant onslaught of delicious middle eastern cuisine every time I leave the house (even in the house as my boyfriend's mother is Russian and is known as the cook in the family...) It seems like every night we are going out to restaurants and ordering way too much. I understand that he is excited to be home, but it's forced me to do some serious planning every morning so that I won't be exceeding my goal of 1,000- 1,200 every day. Also, his mom is always pushing food on me even when I say no and that I'm full, and I feel so rude telling her no every time she asks to make me something. However when we told my boyfriend's friend the story, he said "It is because you are too thin for her" that made me feel good, but I don't think she does it because I am thin (I'm not really...) I think it's a cultural thing. I've been checking this sub every morning to get some inspiration and motivation to keep my head in the game, and regardless of the temptations and minor slip ups, I've been able to keep at at most maintenance every day (no binges!) I'm a bit nervous because I haven't been able to actually weigh myself in a few weeks, but there is no biological way I could have gained weight since I've been meticulously tracking calories every day and it is always below maintenance. But dear god how I will react if I weigh myself and discover I was way off or something... I'm not going there. Have a lovely day for those of you on my side of the world, and a lovely night/ morning for those on the other side. This sub makes me feel calm and in control and I'm going to go brew a cup of coffee for breakfast. <3

---

[Help] Help me get over this hurdle?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 23:26:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ut1xn/help_me_get_over_this_hurdle/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] This has certainly been said before, but bless Halo Top ice cream.
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 22:49:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usxmy/this_has_certainly_been_said_before_but_bless/
---
OMG IT IS SO DELICIOUS. It tastes like... ice cream. Like regular ice cream. It's so good. I wanted something sweet at about 11:30 tonight, so I called my local grocery store to see if they had it and they did, so I went and bought every flavor they had! I tried the birthday cake flavor first tonight and I LOVE it.


If you haven't tried it yet, you totally should. I ate like 1/4 of the pint and I don't even feel bad, because that's like 70 calories.

---

[Discussion] Weight loss during pregnancy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 22:49:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usxln/weight_loss_during_pregnancy/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Fun things I learned today
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 21:43:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usp45/fun_things_i_learned_today/
---
Restriction plunges me into a moody depression, so I've been trying to look on the bright side of the ED life lately. Here is my "Fun Things" list today:

1. It's fun to find hot celebrities that are bigger than me. For example, I am slightly taller and slightly lighter than Shay Mitchell. Shay Mitchell is one of my idols/crushes. This pleases me. It doesn't change my goals, but it makes me feel like I'm in range of them.

2. Most VS models are photoshopped to look *larger* than they are. This means, I think, that I can set my BMI goals to a bit higher than theirs and still look as good as the magazine. Encouraging!

3. Vanity sizing be hanged, it's fun being a size small.

4. Longline bralettes are a godsend for dealing with saggy boobies post-weightloss. They just smooth everything out and make it look pretty again.

5. When I go into binge mode with post legday muscle soreness, I will eat whatever is nearby. Which is how I learned number 6:

6. I can chew an entire pack of sugar free gum at the same time.

What fun things have you all learned lately?

---

[Help] How do you guys stay positive??
/u/peanutbutteredbanana
Created: Tue Jul 26 21:04:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usjgy/how_do_you_guys_stay_positive/
---
I can't stop beating myself up over every single thing I eat and every calorie I consume. Even if I fast all day I still don't feel like I'm good enough. My mental health is plummeting super fast and I'm so lost right now. I weighed myself and I'm back up to 100 and I feel so gross. I can't stop crying and I feel like the number is only going to continue going up even though I'm eating 800 calories max. I just need help on how to stay somewhat happy and positive because I'm falling apart.
Edit- sorry no flair because I'm on mobile :/

---

[Discussion] [Discussion] This gross habit of mine
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Tue Jul 26 20:45:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usgl1/discussion_this_gross_habit_of_mine/
---
I just realized I could chew food if I crave it enough and then spit it out once I'm done tasting it. I raided my fridge and I've just c&s about half of what was in there 😧 Is this common amongst you guys too?

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[Other] Ugh
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Tue Jul 26 20:01:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usa8q/ugh/
---
I feel like such a shit Lord right now. I'm drinking 10 Cal beef broth and watching my 600 pound life on YouTube to stop myself from having anything more.

---

[Rant/Rave] I love new motivation :))))
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 19:44:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4us7wp/i_love_new_motivation/
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On mobile, will flair after work:)

Long story short, but before I went to college I was a sugar baby, at my HIGHEST weight -- I'm telling you like around the 200's. My old SD and I still talk and last night I snapchatted him my pierced nipples and my ribcage and he was begging for more lol.

He was super athletic, intelligent, and generous, and he was only 33. He ate very well and exercised a lot, and he was super tall at 6'7". Our relationship was amazing and it felt like we were dating. I remember the first time we met he took me to the beach and we got lunch at this cute lil cafe and I was eating my fruit with my fingers lol

I was always shy about my weight, but he really thought I was a very intelligent and kind person, and I was never in it for the money. I enjoyed him mentoring me before college and learning from him. Also he was hot as fuck and is a surgeon who literally makes $400k a year. I was literally blessed to have him at my weight.

Anyways we're planning to meet again this September to catch up for dinner! I might convince him to help me go clothes shopping, I know he loves lululemon (because he wears it too!) so I'm going to ask him if he can buy me a couple pairs of yoga tights lol. Regardless, I'm so excited because I really miss him.

But even better, now I have more motivation to drop more weight!

He could buy all my skinny clothes for me. Even if he doesn't, buying all the clothes for our luxury date is enough to satisfy me. And if plans don't work out, I'll still be skinny! Overall win-win-win situation :)

I think if I try hard enough I can get close to my goal weight by then :))))

And just a while I ago I was thinking about eating lol I love new motivation.

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[Thinspo] What I would give to look like Alexis Ren... For reference she's 5'9" with a 22" waist.
/u/tallskinnywannabe8
Created: Tue Jul 26 19:34:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4us6h6/what_i_would_give_to_look_like_alexis_ren_for/
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http://imgur.com/zMYz9Nl

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[Rant/Rave] Do you think it will ever be enough?
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 19:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4us37g/do_you_think_it_will_ever_be_enough/
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Hello everyone!

Sorry for posting on here so often, I'm slightly intoxicated tonight and this place has basically been my lifeline lately.

Do you all ever think that it will never be enough for you? I look at my body, even at my lowest weight, and I see disproportion and fat. My breasts are too small and my waist is too large. If I eat anything I get bloated and look like I'm pregnant. Honestly, I kind of envy larger women sometimes. Most of my friends are a lot larger than me, but their body proportions are so perfect and they have such confidence that they are gorgeous no matter what weight they are. Then there is me, who is 100 pounds and looks like a 12 year old boy, and the only solution I come up with is lose even more weight. I want my body to be proportionate, I want to feel confident and sexy in my body. I've had a lot of sexual partners probably because they give me some validation, that at least someone thinks that I'm beautiful. I just don't think it will ever be enough. I want the self esteem to accept myself as is, but as long as I can remember I've obsessed about being small, even when I was in grade school. I don't believe in fat shaming or reverse thinspo, if people are comfortable with their body I say more power to them. Just for me its been well over 10 years (I'm 23) and I still can't accept myself.

I know this is a lot of body dysmorphia speaking, but you all are pretty much the only ones I can talk to about this. Sorry about the rant, I'm just feeling especially terrible and wanting it all to end right now.

Thanks for being here.

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[Thinspo] My thinspo song<3 Keeps me going every time
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 84 lbs | 16.08 | -23 | f]
Created: Tue Jul 26 18:58:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4us0x6/my_thinspo_song3_keeps_me_going_every_time/
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https://youtu.be/rHBxJCq99jA

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[Other] I just feel better when I don't
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 84 lbs | 16.08 | -23 | f]
Created: Tue Jul 26 18:46:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urz2a/i_just_feel_better_when_i_dont/
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I'm happier, prettier, and mroe confident when I don't eat. All I've had all day is a few cups of black coffee with sweet n low and I feel GREAT. Alive, happy, productive (making hella progress with my novel) and free. I'm dancing, singing, writing, planning, and I feel energetic... bouncy even.

Eating makes me feel like shit.

Hunger is my drug.

Hell the the yeah.

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[Other] Halo-Top and the resulting effects (TMI)
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | CW: 162 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 18:35:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urxdo/halotop_and_the_resulting_effects_tmi/
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So I have been wanting to try halo-top for a really long time and finally drove past a grocery store that had it so I stopped and got some to have for dinner. I got the vanilla and it was definitely the best of the 'low cal' options i've ever tried! However.... 2 hours after I ate almost a whole pint, my stomach is emptying itself so aggressively that I don't even know if I should be happy or in mourning for my butt. Just a little story I figured I would share with y'all :)

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[Other] Sorry for another Pokémon Go thread... but I'm just so elated!
/u/skinny_pls [5'3" | 110 | 19.5 | -40 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 17:59:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urrtt/sorry_for_another_pokémon_go_thread_but_im_just/
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For backstory, I'm that lazy girl that took online PE classes in high school and once thought I was going to die because I missed the bus and had to walk ~3 miles home. To offset my lack of exercise, I'd waste money on adderall. I still kind of am that way; I've been allowing myself more and more calories and rationalizing looser control these past few months.

Well, through the magic of Google, I've figured out that I walk an average of AT LEAST 4.4 miles a day! This doesn't count the times I don't have the app open. And it influences me to make healthier choices. Like, I'll chug a bottle of water and hunt a nearby Pikachu in favor of hiking back to the car for greasy gas station food.

This isn't any holy-shit-wow-10000-steps-a-day achievement, but I feel so proud of myself and I don't know where else to share it! It may be a silly game with no real way to win *in-game*, but I've definitely won outside of the game :) I just wish the weather would cool down so I don't feel like fainting with such low blood sugar!

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[Rant/Rave] I'm not going to make rent.
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 113.6lb | 18.06 | -50.4lb | NB]
Created: Tue Jul 26 17:18:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urlbq/im_not_going_to_make_rent/
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You know why?

Food. Fucking food is why.

I only needed to make $200, it shouldn't have been that hard. I only made $100, but I understand why I fell short, and know what I need to do next month to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Then I bought food.

On the 19th, $40. Day before yesterday, $54. And now I have $14.

Some of it was binge food, but most of it was just stuff for my half-assed attempt at recovery. Eat at least one thing every day. Get 900ish cals. (999 being ideal, because it's the most intake I can have without completely freaking out over four digits and binging.)

I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself. I'm not going to say all my hard work went to waste because hell, I sell nudes, that's not hard work. I'm a lazy nonfunctional piece of shit.

I'm embarrassed because I'm going to have to ask someone for help and I hate that. I shouldn't have to ask for help. I should be better than this, I should be perfect, I should be organized and have my budgets in order and everything sorted into nice little lists with swirly pretty handwriting. But instead I'm just a fucking mess.

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[Discussion] I tell myself its the last time I'm going to b/p...every single time [video vlog]
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Tue Jul 26 17:15:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urkrm/i_tell_myself_its_the_last_time_im_going_to/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dpdu3tc724U

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[Discussion] What's your favourite thing to drink? (non-alcoholic)
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 16:57:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urhn2/whats_your_favourite_thing_to_drink_nonalcoholic/
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Completely disregarding my disordered eating, my favourite thing to drink ever is banana milk. I love it, it tastes like a banana milkshake and I LOVE banana milkshakes! I still treat myself to it every once in a while, but not as much as I used to. I always feel like I am over-indulging when I drink it which can lead to binges for me :/

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[Help] Recovering after a binge?
/u/watchingwheels80 [5'5" | 129| 21.5 | -46 | F ]
Created: Tue Jul 26 16:27:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urco2/recovering_after_a_binge/
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Yesterday I binged pretty hard. It started when I was gifted like 12 cookies for breakfast... and went to a get-together with waffles and, later, pizza. I hate not being able to feel my bones, and feeling so enormously fat. My lover has a BMI of 16 (he doesn't even have an ed), so I constantly feel like a whale next to him. I just want to feel thin again :(

This morning, I got up and went back to my normal restricting routine (raw food until dinner, then a small meal with loads of veggies so it looks like I am eating). I am guzzling water and coffee in hopes that my intestines will be flushed out sooner than later. Outside laxatives (really tempted but I am afraid of getting hooked and they always end up working at the least-convenient time), does anyone have any self-care or helpful tricks they use to feel less shitty for the next couple of days? thanks :/

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[Other] How I conceptualize my food issues atm
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | HW 180 | CW 117 | LW 114.6 | 29 F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 16:08:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ur9ga/how_i_conceptualize_my_food_issues_atm/
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Nerd alert. You can skip this post if you aren't into Star Wars. :)

Lately I've been kind of feeling like Rey during the scene where Kylo Ren tries to force her to give into what he wants, and she successfully resists with tremendous effort. Then she even goes further and demonstrates that not only will she not give in, but SHE has the superior power and control over Kylo Ren. She's stronger.

Is it weird that I conceptualize Kylo Ren as food/hunger? I mean, Adam Driver does look delicious, but... idk. I guess I just crave that kind of feeling of control right now, over food and whatever other powers I'm lacking. I don't always succeed. But when I'm thinking of giving in and eating, I picture her control as she struggles and successfully resists.

I accept this makes me a massive nerd. I am okay with this.

[(Here's the scene... especially starting around 1:20.)](http://youtu.be/QlT-sJLfCPU)

(Edited for redundancy)

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[Rant/Rave] Daily food diary here is so helpful...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 15:47:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ur5tb/daily_food_diary_here_is_so_helpful/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Day 1 of my 72 hour fast complete!
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 15:32:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ur3ao/day_1_of_my_72_hour_fast_complete/
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So far I am 27/72 done with this fast. I am allowing myself to drink diet coke, black coffee, unsweet tea, crystal light and I allowed to chew sugar-free gum. I have a bit of a headache which I only assume will get worse as I go on. I plan to take Tylenol at 7. Tomorrow is also a big day for me because I'm starting my new diet pills! Let's hope they help; I've heard they burn like hell. What's the longest you've fasted for?

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[Intro] Rambly introduction, inspired by "have you ever missed a weight deadline?"
/u/Healthilyornot [5'2" | 137lbs | -56lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:37:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqt90/rambly_introduction_inspired_by_have_you_ever/
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Hi everyone! I've been lurking for ages but decided to finally make an account (shoutout to/u/Glitter_Cunt for inspiring me to!). I was about to respond to /u/smokesanddietcokes who asked about missing a weight deadline, but then I realized I was summing up my whole year and I should just introduce myself ahaha.
I've always had problems with food & ate myself to Class II obese by the time I graduated college. Aside from some disordered eating at 14, I mostly didn't care or think about my weight, aside from being (then and now) totally, totally obsessed with food. I was steadily gaining ~10lbs a year until I discovered CICO and started running in the beginning of of last year and lost 63lbs mostly the healthy way, although I struggled increasingly with binging as my weight loss frustratingly slowed.


I was very "I'm dating myself" & really didn't have time for anyone else until October, when I met/started sleeping with this dude. I was close to my LW (130) then, maybe 2-4lbs over (from binging), and he was the first person I was interested in that thought I was HOT. There was nothing emotional to it at all; it was all physical, and he was in great shape. Oh yeah....and he was my professor at the time.


Being totally objectified like that for the first time in my life messed with my head a LOT, but it also excited me and motivated me to eat well and exercise and get even "hotter".


...but only when he was around, it turned out.

This January I went to stay with my aunt and so I realized that I wasn't gonna see him for nearly a month. "Great," I thought. "I'll exercise and barely eat and I'll come back skinnier than ever!"
In sum, I ate well and exercised for about two days, slipped up once or twice, then binged my fucking face off for the rest of the month and came back ~5lbs heavier. I was too embarrassed to reach out and see him so I just didn't, instead shame-binging on another 15lbs like an idiot, increasingly trying more and more disordered shit to turn things around (EC stacking, purging, fasting...) I mostly forgot about him and was just so in the habit of binging that I couldn't stop and I was terrified I would just binge back on all the weight I'd lost.


Fast forward to the beginning of this month, when he emailed me, saying he'd like to see me. I panicked, told him I was away until the beginning of August (not true), and made plans to fast/restrict and exercise until I wouldn't be embarrassed to see him. So now I'm on my second weight deadline and doing much better! The day he emailed was the 4th of July and I logged a post-binge weight of 152.3lbs (uuuuugh). This morning, I weighed in at 137! When I started, I thought I could get to 132ish by the end of the month, and I'm missing that deadline due to a few slip-ups, but I don't even care this time because I wasted SO MUCH time feeling bad about not being 100% perfect that I went totally backwards.


So yeah idk I feel pretty pathetic for caring this much about what a dude thinks but it's still the thought that gets me out for a run, keeps me from binging, and basically makes me achieve all the things I wanted to anyways... I do wish I could do it for myself again but I couldn't.

Anyways, you guys have been really motivational and I'm glad to finally be joining you =)

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[Rant/Rave] Have to share!! (rant/rave)
/u/Superderg
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:13:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqovz/have_to_share_rantrave/
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I'm new here and have been browsing the past week while motivating myself. I used to regularly fast and exercise and got to a weight I still wasn't happy with but then had a big break up, told myself my ed was stupid and gorged for months on pizza, ice cream, total junk. Now I'm 30lbs heavier and want to die. So back to my ed ways. But in 5 days of restriction all the boost I've had for months is gone and I can see a shadow of my collarbone peeking through!!! I'm so excited!! My collarbones used to be one of my favourite features (once I found them the first time). I started at 240lbs got to 165 and was up to 197. Now I'm down to 195 and pushing to hit 145 (in 5'8" with a broad build). I can't wait! Thanks for all the motivation!!

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[Rant/Rave] The loneliness is the worst.
/u/mandarinexd [5'3" | CW:99 | BMI:17.74 | - 11 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:11:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqok8/the_loneliness_is_the_worst/
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First of all, I'm so thankful I found this subreddit. Because day after day what strike me the most is how lonely you feel with your thoughts. That nobody can really understand what's happening in your mind, why I refuse going out with friends or family because I'm afraid I will be tempted to eat too much or the stares and intruisive asks if I don't eat. I'm tired of justifying myself by stupid and fake excuses as "oh I have a stomach ache" or "I'm gonna eat later" .

The vulnerability you feel when you tell close friends how you feel, because you know now after that you can't tell them lies when they will see you absently throwing half of the food of your plate in the bin. They will know why.

The worst is when they still ask "but don't worry you are not that skinny to be anorexic"... I'm like, internally , this is bad fuel for a wrong motivation, even if they meant good by telling that


They can't get the struggle and fears when I eat even 200 calories more than my usual intake . They can't understand how tired I feel by constently thinking about food, weight, meals plan .

The panic attack when you see just a mere pound adding on your scale, the anxiety coming when you are at a friend or boyfriend place and see your "binge food" in the fridge .

I don't know really how to cope, I am also tired of randompeople telling me I'm too skinny when I know what they consider "thin" isnt what I consider as goals.

The worst ? The guilt. The guilt of not being good enough for your own aim, but also the guilt of unconsciously putting your stress around you like a dark cloud.

I'm sorry for my rant, and english isn"t my first language so I probably made a lot of mistakes, but I just wanted to get this off my chest and thank you all for your open mind and kindness.

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[Discussion] Besides calories what else do you track about your food?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:08:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqnv4/besides_calories_what_else_do_you_track_about/
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My top three are Calories, Protein, and Sugar. Calories for obvious reasons, I try to keep my protein up to help curb hunger, and I try to have as little sugar as possible. What else do you track?

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[Other] Less than 24hrs till I can weigh myself...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:07:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqno5/less_than_24hrs_till_i_can_weigh_myself/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] Tonight was...not great. Today will be better.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 13:44:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqjca/tonight_wasnot_great_today_will_be_better/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] We WILL do it.
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 133 | 22.39 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 13:42:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqj29/we_will_do_it/
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Hit our exercise goal, eat at/under our planned calories or burn off extra calories, fast like a motherfucker, whatever. We'll do it today, and tomorrow, and every day after that. We are brave enough to set the highest standards for ourselves, and we are strong enough to carve, polish, perfect ourselves into who we were always meant to be. I can feel it.

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[Discussion] What do you count as breaking your fast?
/u/GingerrWithASoul [5'6 | 124 | 20.09 | -24 | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 26 13:36:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqhyp/what_do_you_count_as_breaking_your_fast/
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I'm at 35 hours of what I consider to be fasting. I've been drinking water and coffee and nothing else. My goal is to make it to 50 hours just to see if I can make it.


But I also tend to be slightly hypoglycaemic. So yesterday evening I chewed and spit a soft toffee candy to get a tiny bit of sugar before I had to drive to make sure I didn't get dizzy while operating a two tonne death machine (aka a motor vehicle).


Do you count that as breaking my fasting streak? Where do you personally draw the line? Do you give in occasionally to get through the rest of your fast?

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[Other] Cake in the office - Run and Hide!
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 13:20:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqewz/cake_in_the_office_run_and_hide/
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So today we had a birthday in the office and I was asked to go get the cake. I found a giant chocolate cake which looked so delicious and I knew everyone would have to eat a slice. I am trying to keep my restricting a secret at work, especially because my new boss is very over-weight and would not react well to my calorie counting.

So I take the cake back to the office, light the candles, carry it into the office of my unsuspecting colleague while singing Happy Birthday with everyone else I sort of make sure I am at the centre of things so everyone knows I am there. Then as soon as the cake cutting started I walked briskly away and hid in the toilet until I thought all the cake would have been handed out.

Nobody saw me leave as they were all so focused on the chocolate dream that was the cake. A couple of people asked where I went and did I get a slice, but I was able to brush it off saying I had an important call and I had to get back to my desk.

So I essentially run away from food now. But the important thing is that I didn't blow my calorie allowance for the day and I feel very happy about it.

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[Thinspo] some thinspo to keep me from snacking
/u/justputitdown [5'8" | 152.2 | 22.9 | 31.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:59:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqazp/some_thinspo_to_keep_me_from_snacking/
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http://imgur.com/a/40uoV

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[Discussion] Make me feel better - have you ever completely failed at a weight goal?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:49:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq8y0/make_me_feel_better_have_you_ever_completely/
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Supposed to be fasting, instead have eaten a bunch of lettuce and a huge bowl of chopped tomatoes (150kcal). Have a headache today and couldn't muster the willpower to fast. Sucks, cus I'm struggling enough already.

So yeah. Feel like shit. This will be the first goal I don't hit.. (the whole 88, or now 90, lbs by September thing - think I'll end up maintaining.. *at best*)

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[Help] Troubleshooting crushing down shoulder width for lower bodyfat percentages
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:47:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq8k8/troubleshooting_crushing_down_shoulder_width_for/
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[deleted]

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[Other] Me when I overate like Shrek but said "fuck it I can live for once" then see the result of the scale 3 days later
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:42:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq7jr/me_when_i_overate_like_shrek_but_said_fuck_it_i/
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https://i.redd.it/v4l4rof1mmbx.gif

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[Help] How to help body recover from laxative use?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:34:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq642/how_to_help_body_recover_from_laxative_use/
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I binged horribly last night, and I took laxatives during it. I woke up at 3am with pains and spent a good deal of time in the bathroom. Problem is I still get the pains and am running to the bathroom this morning.

It's almost noon, and I have a guy coming over tonight. I'm crazy into this guy, and it's only our 3rd date so I don't feel comfortable with him knowing about my bathroom stuff yet... Is there anything I should be doing or anything specific I can eat to help my body recover?

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[Other] I nearly burned my whole place down...
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:31:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq5hb/i_nearly_burned_my_whole_place_down/
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I woke up feeling really off. Had a terrible sleep, nightmares throughout. I kept wavering between wanting to b/p or not. I should have known I really didn't want to.

Anyways, the little destructive gremlin in my brain convinced me that it would be a good idea. So, I was doing the dirty deed, when I realized I'd completely forgot about a pot of popcorn and oil/butter I'd put on the stove. I ran over and sure enough the thing was smouldering.

I live in a tiny bachelor. As soon as I lifted the lid the whole place was full of smoke. I opened a window and put the pot in front of it and a fan in front of that to blow the smoke out. The smell was/is awful and my eyes are so dry.

So, I had a terrible b/p session that just reinforced why I never want to do that again, almost lit my place on fire in the process, and learned the hard way that smoke detectors in dumpy student slums definitely do not work.

The (sort of) good thing about it all is that I think the experience will be enough to put me off b/p for a good while. House fires are LITERALLY my biggest fear, and this whole thing has left me so terrified that I'm hoping the association will put me off this behaviour.

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[Goal] Feeling kind of flat stomached this morning? Maybe?
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 11:11:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upq42/feeling_kind_of_flat_stomached_this_morning_maybe/
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http://imgur.com/a/sFDI0

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[Thinspo] Reverse thinspo
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:55:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upn0a/reverse_thinspo/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Why do I make myself feel like shit, even when I eat below maintenance?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:54:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upmvk/why_do_i_make_myself_feel_like_shit_even_when_i/
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If I eat anything out of my "safe foods" I feel disgusting, fat, and bloated.

Yesterday I ate at 1,000cal for the day and felt like shit.

I binged this morning at breakfast and ate 5 cereal bars. Not good at all, but still only at 600ish calories for the day, and so full I can't imagine eating anything else.

I don't understand why I have to feel so guilty. Why can't I be okay with it? That's technically an 800 cal deficit? And yesterday was a 400 cal deficit.

I just don't get my brain, or why I've decided that 300-400 calories is safe, and anything else is bad.

It's not fair, because logically I know differently. I don't want to have to feel like this, but at the same time, I don't want to recover and get fat.

Today is just rough and I hate that I hate myself for something I logically know is okay.

It's like I'm two separate people.. does anyone ever feel this way?

---

[Other] Waking up with a full belly after last nights 3,000 calorie binge
/u/strongerthanyouknow [5'5" |145 |24.4 | -12 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:48:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upllb/waking_up_with_a_full_belly_after_last_nights/
---
http://imgur.com/a/tXkBW

---

[Help] Liquid fast ruined?
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:33:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upiu8/liquid_fast_ruined/
---
So I was going to do a liquid fast today and tomorrow because I wasn't going to be home around dinner time and could tell my family I had something to eat when I was out, but this morning my mom went through the effort of cutting up watermelon and putting it in a container for me to bring to work. I ate it because I thought "hey watermelon... it's mostly water. It's in the name even." Now I am sitting here with a belly full of melon and feeling like a failure because, as low cal this melon is (<100 for my serving), it isn't liquid.

I hate when I do fake justifications to myself for eating. I always feel horrible after.

I guess I want validation on wheather I'm being stupid or not. :/

---

[Rant/Rave] "I exercised off every calorie I ate and still didn't lose weight" pshhh...
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:29:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upi2q/i_exercised_off_every_calorie_i_ate_and_still/
---
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a61820/iskra-lawrence-strips-insecurities-videos/

---

[Rant/Rave] UK in just over 2 weeks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:04:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4updkd/uk_in_just_over_2_weeks/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upd6i/daily_food_diary_july_26_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Intro] I'm sorry I babble.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:59:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upcnu/im_sorry_i_babble/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Just need to get this off my chest.
/u/Ravanys [61" | 135.8 | 26.80 | 50 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:32:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up7ln/just_need_to_get_this_off_my_chest/
---
Hello all,

My first post but have been updating stickied stuff pretty regularly and lurk everyday.

I just need to vent I guess. Life it stressful right now. We moved this month and I started work at a new location in a city 4 times the size of our old one. I don't handle stress well at all. I get irritable and dissociative. Not good for me or my marriage. I had a crying fit last night with my husband brought on by probably a mix of PMS, my EC stacks (I take 2 a day), and general weariness from prolonged stress.

Husband wants me to see someone, maybe even medication. I don't want this. I am scared that any meds will mess up my sex drive or sleep cycle. Most of all I am scared I will want to stop restricting. I am scared to give this up. It makes me feel in control right now over *something* at least. I am scared the meds will make me *want* to eat.

I think I need to cut my stacks down as well. I am using Bronkaid a full one, with 24 oz of coffee twice a day, 5 days a week. I think they are making me more irritable and anxious. Going to finish out this box and try just not eating.

Thanks everyone.

---

[Discussion] Best types of gum?
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:28:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up6pn/best_types_of_gum/
---
Okay so, generally I chew a lot of gum to sorta keep hunger away and to keep my mouth busy.

I find though, that gum makes me really really bloated and I tend to chew a whole pack in literally a hour.

SO I'm wondering, does anyone else do this? And what are your favorite types of gum?

I like juicy fruit best. Especially the bubblegum version.

---

[Discussion] Anyone in the UK going to any conventions this year?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:23:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up5xd/anyone_in_the_uk_going_to_any_conventions_this/
---
Just wondering. It's quite usual for people to meet up at conventions :) I'm going to one in September and wouldn't mind meeting people! I know it's strange to ask here but.. well.. you're my kinda people more than most other groups I guess. Heh!

---

[Meme/Humor] Sums up how I'm feeling today
/u/daisiesordemons [60in | CW:126lbs | GW: 110lbs | -20 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:02:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up21b/sums_up_how_im_feeling_today/
---
http://imgur.com/WwTNRal

---

[Rant/Rave] Welp. My dad's taking me to this greasy spoon for lunch and there's no way I can get out of it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 26 08:57:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up11o/welp_my_dads_taking_me_to_this_greasy_spoon_for/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] I just found a really awesome weight loss calculator!!
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 08:44:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uoyvf/i_just_found_a_really_awesome_weight_loss/
---
http://www.precisionnutrition.com/weight-loss-calculator

I've been playing with this all morning! It's so awesome! You can calculate your changes in lifestyle and it has goal dates and everything! :'D

---

[Rant/Rave] I really hate the terms "thick" or "juicy" when describing girls.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 08:23:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uov01/i_really_hate_the_terms_thick_or_juicy_when/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uov01/i_really_hate_the_terms_thick_or_juicy_when/

---

[Discussion] Fasting for days then refeeding vs Restricting throughout the day
/u/madamdepompadour
Created: Tue Jul 26 07:33:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uomkz/fasting_for_days_then_refeeding_vs_restricting/
---
I see folks on here who look so fantastic and their MO has been to fast a couple of days during the week. However, seems like that will not work for me because when I end up refeeding, I usually go way overboard and end up undoing all the gains (haha!) from my fast.

I think for me, limiting my daily cals to max 700 a day is probably best and spreading my meals to set times so I have something to look forward to not too far off which I think helps my mental aspect of restricting.

Which WOE has worked best for you?

---

[Rant/Rave] anyone else being force fed by parents?
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Tue Jul 26 07:14:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uojp1/anyone_else_being_force_fed_by_parents/
---
i have no idea how many calories im eating my parents just feed me everything. the only thing i have control over is my exercise so i run a lot and walk but im just eating so so much. :(

---

[Tip] Android (maybe iphone?) app for meal ideas!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 06:41:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uoet4/android_maybe_iphone_app_for_meal_ideas/
---
It's called 'eat this much'. You can input your calories to whatever you want. Your macros to whatever you want, and it generates meal plans that fit that as closely as possible. Maybe you wouldnt follow it entirely, but ive gotten some good meal ideas off of it!

---

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 26 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo9eu/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_26_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] Does anyone here NOT have Dysmorphia?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 05:59:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo8yk/does_anyone_here_not_have_dysmorphia/
---
I'm suddenly getting all these childhood memories coming back. I would stare at myself in the mirror for extended periods of time. When I would fall asleep, I would sometimes feel my limbs grow to gargantuan proportions while other limbs shrunk to doll size. I'd have to look at my body to make sure everything was human sized, because my brain told me I was morphing.

So....yeah....pretty sure I have dysmorphia. I've always hated my body to an irrational degree. I see myself in the mirror but can't SEE myself. If that makes sense.

Just curious if anyone here does **not** have BDD.

---

[Rant/Rave] Lol @ me
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Tue Jul 26 05:45:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo7ca/lol_me/
---
So, I had planned today as a binge day (bad idea I know I know), and on binge days, I stay away from foods that I find difficult to get up, aka vegetables, watery fruits etc.

Last night though, I had a binge dream and woke up in horror, thinking that I'd really eaten all the stuff I dreamt about, only to realise that it was only a dream thank god. So as you can imagine, I wasn't really feeling the binge day today. All good right??

lol no. I started with vegetables bc no need to worry bc I'm not going to binge. I finish the vegetables. I fuckin go wild in the kitchen and eat everything I can get my hands on. Can't get everything up bc vegetables. Rinse and repeat until now, 10pm.

My tummy is flat (ish) again, but I know that I can't possibly have gotten everything. Literally not possible, and I have no idea how many calories I've eaten today. Fun fun fun.

I'll be out of the house for most of tomorrow though, which is good, and I'll be back at uni on Monday, which is excellent. All I need to do is claw my way until then and I'll be home dry, but God I feel like kicking myself.

/rant

---

[Discussion] Having a hard time dealing with my sedentary job -- anyone else sit allllll day?
/u/thinismygame [5'6" | 148 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 05:39:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo6lp/having_a_hard_time_dealing_with_my_sedentary_job/
---
I just started an office job. With the commute it's from 730-530. I sit all fucking day. I've never had such a sedentary job but I need it for my resume. I've been a server for years and I loved being on my feet and getting 20k steps. Now I'm lucky if I get 5k. When I feel like I'm failing on one end (in this case, exercise), it leads to a binge. I want to burn as many calories but I'm not moving. I'm feeling so discouraged..

---

[Rant/Rave] Purged last night for the first time in almost a year
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Tue Jul 26 05:35:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo64m/purged_last_night_for_the_first_time_in_almost_a/
---
Ranting on mobile but I can flair when I get home.

Yeah so like the title says, i purged last night for the first time in almost a year. I have the little red dots under my eyes this morning. My stomach is like a balloon.

I was under my budget yesterday (which is 750), I was at probably 650 cals for the day and was feeling really proud of myself. My boyfriend wanted to do an open-mic and I wanted to go too but I had to make it an early night because I work at 7 this morn.

Well after the open mic, which was really fun btw he did an awesome job, we went out for pizza and I had two slices and felt so fucking guilty and horrible and bloated so I did what any recovering bulimic does and tried to puke it up. Eyeballed maybe a slice that I managed to regurgitate and I still feel guilty as fuck. I am sad today.

Going to dinner for my dad's birthday tonight at this fancy restaurant so I'm gonna try to eat like 300cals max until then but wow I feel so horrible and sad. Could use some words of encouragement 😞

---

[Rant/Rave] I have another cavity - my second in 3 months
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 02:04:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4unjww/i_have_another_cavity_my_second_in_3_months/
---
I can't do this anymore. I can't destroy my body. I'm 24 and beautiful - I don't want to fuck that up. I'm upping my caloric intake, and I'm going to try to not restrict (or binge). I don't want to gain weight, of course, but I'm trying to accept that as most likely inevitable.

I'm going to try to get healthier. I don't want to destroy my body, especially when I was given such a great one. This cavity was a huge wake up call...

---

[Help] Advice for a cleanse (tmi)
/u/Saltycook [5'4"| 128# |22.4| -35# | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 26 01:43:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4unhld/advice_for_a_cleanse_tmi/
---
After this b/p cycle the past couple weeks I went from pooping twice a day to barely pooping once daily. I can only cleanse weds/thurs because I work in a kitchen and hopping off to the restroom often is too conspicuous so or has to be my days off. Thinking of eating only veggie/fruit smoothies the next couple days because using laxatives takes a lot of planning around when they take effect.

---

[Rant/Rave] Planning is so hard
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 01:37:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ungzz/planning_is_so_hard/
---
So I like to plan out my days of food, today started out like:

150 cals vegan yogurt, 100 cals of golden milk (almond milk w tumeric) because I'm sick, I planned to eat in the morning. (I don't usually eat my calories in the morning).

and for dinner I planned to have my veggie burger (200 cals) with a spinach and strawberry salad (30 ish cals). Which would leave me at less than 500 cals for the day.

But at lunch time my teacher brought in food for my class, so I had 100 cals of fruit then for lunch, and after school my mum went shopping and I didn't ask for anything.. and she came back with nachos and vegan cheese for dinner :( and she also brought me dried fruit and sorbet. (so *high* in cals)

And my brother ate my strawberries. (my favourite low cal/ safe food *sigh*)

Now I'm trying to figure out how I can get under 800 cals (600 is usually my limit) because of the crap my mum bought me. Like, I'm really grateful that she bought food for me but now my dinner plans went out the window, I'm not going to have any self control when it comes to the nachos.

I wish I lived by myself so I wasn't tempted/expected to eat food other people have given me.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I just want to drink my almond milk and eat my salad/healthy food, but I swear there is so much junk food surrounding me even though I'm a vegan. Haha :(

*edit: I had about 250 cals worth of nacho chips, but I threw out most of them/gave my dad some.. I still avoided so many calories (avocado, beans, etc) but I feel like crying.

---

[Other] I'm so sick of being so heavy. I'm trying to motivate myself to get back down to this picture; y'know, when I actually had collarbones
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 23:21:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4un155/im_so_sick_of_being_so_heavy_im_trying_to/
---
http://imgur.com/tjWe5H6

---

[Discussion] How do you guys reward yourselves for reaching your goals?
/u/m_inimal
Created: Mon Jul 25 23:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umyqd/how_do_you_guys_reward_yourselves_for_reaching/
---
One would think that the positive body changes and weight loss alone would be reward enough in itself...but my dysmorphia (? that sounds inappropriately clinical to me; I just think Im shapeless and look like a "smaller fat" instead of "thin" when I lose weight) often gets in the way of my satisfaction.

So instead, I've been trying to come up with ways to reward myself for being good that have nothing to do with food or exercise and are just purely fun and self indulgent, like clothes, massages, haircut, etc. For me, the problem is I not only have anxiety about my body, but about money too yipppeee!! I'll be shopping online, have something (always carefully considered, not even an impulse buy) in the cart, all my card info filled out, ready to hit "submit order", and then I'll back out because I'm too afraid of a) spending that much money on something I convince myself I don't need or b) getting the garment in the mail, trying it on only to find I look like a whale in it or that it doesn't fit :(

I also really want to get a new hairdo before school starts at the end of August, but I feel like since my body sucks any hairstyle will look dumb on me, so why even try? I'll probably just end up going more blonde...but even with that I'm anxious because people will think "Ohh she dyes her hair, she must think she's pretty, she must be vain, haha how stupid of her to be vain, she's just a whale anyway" ahhhhhh whyyy

Massages are very safe and nice as a reward, theyre just so expensive and I don't always have time to go get one.

But enough about my insanity, what do you guys do to pamper yourselves? :)

---

My stupid revelation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 22:20:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umtdo/my_stupid_revelation/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Conflicted about my "binge":
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:42:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umnyq/conflicted_about_my_binge/
---
Today, I went over by about 13 calories. I was down by over 100, and I ate an Arctic Zone in salted caramel. It tasted so rich and so sinful, and I ate so much of it, that I'm struggling with a fair amount of guilt.

My biggest worry is that I will give control over to the greedy little piggy inside of me, who is ceaselessly clamoring for sugars and starches and fats. I've been so good; I've lost 25 lbs.. I just have to save days like today for fifteen pounds from now.

Thanks for reading. I'll flair when I get on my computer.

---

[Help] I feel a binge coming on. Help??
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:34:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ummrp/i_feel_a_binge_coming_on_help/
---
Not like, right this minute, but it's like I'm standing on a beach looking out at the water and I can see a big wave coming. I'm not sure what to do to prevent it. I've been restricting pretty well lately, I haven't gone over my limit in about 4 straight weeks, and I can just tell that sometime in the next week or two all hell's gonna break loose.

I don't know what to do. Should I eat at maintenance for a week and see how that goes? Should I have a controlled mini binge while I can still control it? Should I just keep restricting and hope that I can stick to my guns? I am at a loss here.

Any advice would be appreciated.

---

[Tip] Take it one pound at a time (motivation)
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:30:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umm3n/take_it_one_pound_at_a_time_motivation/
---
I know how hard it is to be the size you are now and look at people on this sub, and look at Thinspo and feel defeated. Feeling like you're never going to get where you wanna be, I spent 3 months at the same weight and felt so terrible I would literally cry standing on the scale because I was so disappointed in myself.

You can do this, you've already come so far, whether you've lost 1 pound or 20. You're not the old you anymore. You are stronger you are better you are lighter, and you are thinner.

Be proud of how far you've come. Take it one pound at a time, sometimes looking at you're Ultimate Goal Weight can make you feel like you're not making progress but believe me you are making progress. Take short small GWs in 5 or 10 pound increments.

Any progress no matter how small is progress.

---

[Other] Halo top diet. Man eats nothing but Halo Top for 10 days.
/u/Apes-Maa [5' 10 | CW: 126.5 | BMI 18.3 | -26.5 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:18:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umke4/halo_top_diet_man_eats_nothing_but_halo_top_for/
---
http://www.gq.com/story/halo-top-ice-cream-review-diet

---

[Goal] I'm going to do it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:15:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umjvg/im_going_to_do_it/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Honestly, Going to bed hungry is one of the best feelings. Anyone else?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:08:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umiwa/honestly_going_to_bed_hungry_is_one_of_the_best/
---
Like, feeling intense hunger at night while laying in bed, really makes me feel so good especially when I feel like Ive eaten a lot. Even when I feel hunger during the day time, its still just not the same.

Maybe I'm weird?

---

[Tip] You guys know about My Diet Coach?
/u/Sundoglord [64" | 118 | 20.25 | 29 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:03:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umi8w/you_guys_know_about_my_diet_coach/
---
http://imgur.com/RmLVpcl

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[Rant/Rave] My best friend is the best and worst thing ever.
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 20:30:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umdfk/my_best_friend_is_the_best_and_worst_thing_ever/
---
My best friend is one the skinniest people I know, and he doesn't even try. He has the most beautiful collarbones on the planet and his arms and legs are so skinny. He has a really really high metabolism (I've seen him an entire large pizza in 2 minutes by himself). I love him and I hate him. I hate him because my relationship with food is so toxic and my BMI isn't where I want it to be. He literally eats whatever the fuck he wants and he is so beautifully skinny. His calculated BMI is 17.6 and I am not anywhere near that. My only goal is to be skinnier than him. My first goal is to weigh less than him. Then my second is to physically be smaller than him. My ultimate goal is to be 99 pounds which would put me with a BMI of 17.5. Ugh I can't wait to have beautiful collarbones and beautiful hips.

---

[Help] Weighing and cooking with frozen veggies
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 89 lbs | 19.21 | -51| F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 20:28:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umd0v/weighing_and_cooking_with_frozen_veggies/
---
Do I weigh frozen foods (not meats, I know to weigh that raw) such as veggies or rice before when the are frozen or after I cook them?
Thanks!

---

[Rant/Rave] I feel so hopeless. [Rant]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 20:01:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4um98t/i_feel_so_hopeless_rant/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] i love posting on this sub, but i feel more dejected than inspired while browsing
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 19:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4um8a7/i_love_posting_on_this_sub_but_i_feel_more/
---
all of you posting your pictures are so beautiful and skinny. you all look like models, and here i am, a fucking whale, sitting on my fat ass. i'll never look like any of you. i'm always the fattest girl in the room, and i'm probably the fattest girl here.
i want to look at your pictures and think "wow, i need to keep working so i can look like her" but all i can think is "i'll never be skinny and beautiful like her so what's the fucking point".
i just want to be skinny. that's all i've ever wanted. i want to be skinny so people will like me. i want to be skinny so i can get a boyfriend. i want to be skinny so people won't laugh at me when i walk by and judge me. i don't care what it takes. but i just know i'll never get there. i'll never be as skinny and perfect as the girls who post pictures on here or the person reading this.
edit: thank you all so much for your kind replies and comments. i'm glad to have found this community :-)

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else not register the scale going down?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 18:51:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulyeb/does_anyone_else_not_register_the_scale_going_down/
---
* I'll weigh myself in the morning, and promptly forget what it said. As long as it didn't go up, I don't have to panic. But I literally cannot remember what it said at all.

* I'll be disgusted by my inability to lose weight, the fact that my weight is the EXACT SAME as 2 months ago, then look at MFP and see that I lost 7 lbs in 5 weeks. (And then -2 lbs in 5 weeks the following month because my body is insane and doesn't give a shit about the laws of thermodynamics.)

Anyone else?

I miss losing 2 lbs a week so fucking much. I no longer have a sense of control.

---

[Rant/Rave] I overate, and I'm fucking pissed off
/u/Elope
Created: Mon Jul 25 18:41:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulwzz/i_overate_and_im_fucking_pissed_off/
---
Today was such bullshit. As usual with my days spent sitting at home, it just consisted of me counting down the minutes to my next meal. And me being the absolute fucking fool I am, decided to spend my calories too quickly. So I had to bump myself up to maintenance cuz I knew I'd fucking binge if I got into a battle of wills with the rest of the day.

So that was fine, I was annoyed at wasting a day but whatever. This is when it all breaks down. About 10 minutes before I was going to go to bed, I ate a fucking chocolate biscuit.

You know what happens next.

A bowl of cereal, another biscuit, several Pringles and two squares of chocolate later I am absolutely livid. The day was over! I was in the fucking home stretch and I blew it.

I'm just so fucking angry at everything. I want to burn down that fucking kitchen, with its stupid cupboard where all the chocolate is kept. I hate it so much.

I don't want to wake up tomorrow. I know my first thought will go to what happened and I'll just feel dreadful. I'm 18 on Wednesday. I was 13 when I started to diet, when I started this bullshit cycle of binging and restricting. Does it ever fucking end?

---

[Intro] Ribcage question
/u/Ruthless_instigator
Created: Mon Jul 25 18:00:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulqm1/ribcage_question/
---
Longtime lurker here, hi everybody! I was wondering if anybody else was having a hard time with the size of their rib cage. I feel like no matter how much weight I lose (and I need to lose a ton), I'm just going to stay huge above the waist.

Here's a picture of how big my ribcage is for reference, pleeeaaase excuse the fat and period bloating:
http://imgur.com/LCR1rcG

Hopefully soon I can quit being a little bitch and have the crazy self-control you all have to reach a tiny weight - but this community has already helped me so much! You all inspired me to do a 2 day fast last week and I am starting another tonight (going for 3 days now). Haven't fasted that successfully since the spring, before I let myself go again 😩

---

[Goal] Hitting rock bottom, when I thought I couldn't feel fatter then I already did....
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 17:27:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ull7q/hitting_rock_bottom_when_i_thought_i_couldnt_feel/
---
Sorry no flair, on my phone.

So here I am, on the last days of my honeymoon in London. I was really disappointed in not achieving the goal I set for myself, but I thought "it's my honeymoon! With the man I love, in going to enjoy myself and have fun! Fuck my ED brain!"

That was a nice thought wasn't it..?
It kind of worked, I said "fuck it" and ate and drank to my hearts content.
Then reality came crashing down on me....my hubby took some pics of me in front of a monument and when I saw the picture I started hyperventilating. I tried calming myself down, rationalize what I saw...

Then he bought me a couple of dresses as a surprise gift because we were going out to a fancy dinner.
The dresses are really nice!!!
I tried them on and had to lock my self in the bathroom for half an hour because I honestly looked like honey boo boos sister!

I honesty can't live like this anymore...who in their right mind would live like this if there is a choice?!

Fuck it! We have one last day in London, after this I don't care! ED living didn't make me "happy", but it sure didn't make me feel as shitty as being a tub of lard does!

I've tries rationalizing my recovery, but it seems that balance isn't something I can do. So then I rather be my ED self, then my honey boo boo self!

Sorry for the rant, but feeling very lonely right now, my husband doesn't understand, and I know you guys do!

I have a small plan for when getting home. First off I'm going to take pictures , that are going to be my before pics, and post them! (Scary as fuck!!) but it's time to own up to what I've become, and be accountable for my actions!
Before this year is over I WILL post another pic where I'm ATLEAST 20 lbs lighter, or I swear to god I don't know what I will do!

Thanks for anyone who took the time to read this...I needed you to see this, so I know what someone seas me for what I am, and what I can become!

---

[Discussion] Irrational ED Thoughts
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Mon Jul 25 17:07:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uli1n/irrational_ed_thoughts/
---
I think I get quite a few of these, and I'm wondering if you lovelies can relate. I find them both hilarious and exhausting. For me, it's:

* Wondering about if I'll 'absorb' extra calories if I wait another few minutes to get up to pee

* Biting my nails and then worrying if I've consumed a bunch of calories without realising (I've actually stopped biting my nails mostly due to this thought)

* Thinking that drinking and retaining a bunch of water is just as bad as a few lbs of fat gain

* Making completely irrational plans based off the number on the scale (I'm not actually gonna cycle 70 miles because I'm retaining water but I've told at least one person I am)

amongst many others....any to share? 😁

---

[Help] Low calorie flour?
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Mon Jul 25 17:02:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulha5/low_calorie_flour/
---
Somebody mentioned making recipes with a flour or fiber that has practically no calories! Anybody remember what that was? any other suggestions are welcome too.

Thanks lovelies <3

---

[Rant/Rave] Sensitivity to Gluten/Inflamed tonsils
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 17:02:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulh9g/sensitivity_to_gluteninflamed_tonsils/
---
So tomorrow I'm going to see a doctor about my inflamed tonsils and sore throat that has been going on for several months (probably due to me purging) and I'm hoping he says I have a gluten sensitivity. My mom has a sensitivity to it and having this diagnosis will give me an excuse to eat less and eat less fattening foods around my friends and family. Honestly gluten-free food is not good and all of my trigger foods have some kind of gluten in them. I really hope he doesn't make me get labs or anything. Wish me luck xoxo

---

[Help] When does the pouch go away?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 16:45:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ule9c/when_does_the_pouch_go_away/
---
I've been doing pretty well lately and there are so many things that I can find that I like about my body, but my biggest hatred is my stomach. As most big girls know loose skin is awful. I started my journey at over 200 lbs and the first time around lost about 60 in 5-6 months. However I was only restricting at this point and just walking. It's left me with a little belly pouch that no matter I do will NOT GO AWAY! I exercise now, do lots of core work, I'm steadily losing weight, but it just never disappears. How low do I have to go before it's gone? What bf% means no fat on the stomach? I've always loved flat stomachs, I think they're sexy as fuck and regularly look at /r/sexytummies for inspiration, it's literally my #1 goal. I just want to get there, I want to know what it's going to take because I'm willing to do anything.

---

[Help] What's going on??
/u/swarleyandme [5'11" | 200.6 | 27.08 | -89.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 16:30:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulbxw/whats_going_on/
---
So, when I joined this subreddit, my weight was hanging out at around 206lbs. In the... about two weeks(?) since, I've been restricting and started exercising again. My weight is currently hanging around 202lbs, but I'm hoping to see an even bigger drop when my period finally decides to end.

Here's the thing, though: at 206, my body fat percentage was at 30%; now it's at 31%??? What's going on? Is my period making things fucky or...? I'm really at a loss. As happy as I've been to see the numbers go down on the scale, now I'm terrified I'm somehow not losing any fat at all.

Please excuse the overall high numbers and percentages. >.<

---

[Rant/Rave] keeping busy
/u/crapbeg
Created: Mon Jul 25 16:13:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ul906/keeping_busy/
---
so it's been a month or so since i've posted here and i've gained back like 4 lbs (maybe some water weight but that's still not good)

i mean i'm happy in that i'm glad that i've not been stressing over food constantly, but i'm also so mad at myself because when i'm at work etc, i genuinely can't function without food??

i don't really know what this is i just needed to vent

---

My mum is an asshole
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 15:25:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ul0tr/my_mum_is_an_asshole/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Arbitrary priorities
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 15:02:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukwtw/arbitrary_priorities/
---
The other day I was considering how I measure my "success" in terms of weightless, and how some milestones arbitrarily make me more pleased than others. Here is how I rank them, in order of most important to least important:

1. Smaller measurements
2. Fitting into smaller sizes and specific articles of "skinny" clothing
3. I can see a difference in my physical appearance (mirror and/or pictures)
4. Scale measures a lower number
5. "Shrinking" my appetite -- being able to fast longer and more frequently, feeling full after having smaller portions than I used to, etc.
6. Other people comment on weight loss

What do you think? Are your priorities similar to mine, or do you rank your milestones differently? Are there other progress markers that you use other than the ones I have on my list?

---

[Help] Truth of 18% bf as a threshold?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 14:59:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukw7h/truth_of_18_bf_as_a_threshold/
---
[deleted]

---

[Thinspo] thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:56:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukkt8/thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/9uZRKbG.jpg

---

[Help] Ladies who are EC and supplement stacking, please help! Issues with nausea and EC stack/supps.
/u/enchanted_objects-2
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukkrr/ladies_who_are_ec_and_supplement_stacking_please/
---
Hi Ladies,
So about 2 months ago I started supplement stacking, Bronkaid/primatene, sometimes phentermine, and caffeine, adrafinil etc.

These last few days I wake up with headaches pretty consistently, and am having a lot more body pain, but the biggest issue is actually nausea.

I don't often get nauseous, but these last couple of days I feel like I am constantly about to toss my cookies, then if I finally do the nausea remains and I don't feel better.
The headaches seem to be *slightly* painkiller resistant.

Please advise if you can!

---

[Goal] My new plan! Going hardcore!
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:51:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukjvt/my_new_plan_going_hardcore/
---
After 3 days of binging and laxatives, I need to break the cycle for my mental health and my poor butthole's sake.

So I've made a new plan, which i am sharing simply to keep myself in line. If this breaks the rules I'll take it down, I just want to pump myself up!

I am allowing myself a maxiumum of 500 calories, and only at dinner because I live at home until next semester (one month whoop!) and have to eat with parents 99% of the time.

So 500 per day. BUT I can eat the following in this order prior to dinner, so long as I work it off at the park before 3PM:

1. A boullion cube (15), 2. A greek yogurt (80-130), and 3. A protein bar (150-210)

This means at most I can have 355 calories before 3PM. I have motivation to work it off because I take a multitude of fat burning pills, one of which requires a fasted state or it doesn't work.

I am also no longer allowed to eat after 7PM. I will drink a cup of tea after dinner with my show, and that will be it.

This is a complete mess lol I'm just pretty excited about finally feeling like I can stick to a plan. Hopefully I'll be losing at least 3 pounds a week and reach my goal weight before my birthday!

---

[Other] bright and bold words of encouragement
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:51:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukjui/bright_and_bold_words_of_encouragement/
---
http://imgur.com/a/eZGKD

---

[Discussion] Which other subreddits do you follow, besides the defaults? Especially thinspo/weight loss related?
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:36:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukh77/which_other_subreddits_do_you_follow_besides_the/
---
Hi all, just wondering which subreddits you follow, especially related to weight loss/restricting food, so I can get some more content on my frontpage on this account! So far I am subscribed to:

* 1200isplenty
* 1200isplentyketo
* fatlogic
* loseit
* proED :)
* progresspics
* xxfitness

Haven't checked out xxfitness in depth yet, but I have been looking at 1200isplenty, fatlogic and loseit a lot in the last few months before finding this sub! Let me know which other ones you think I should check out :)

Edit: Subreddits I subscribe to from this thread will go here--

* fitmeals
* eatcheapandhealthy
* fatpeoplestories
* makeupaddiction
* skincareaddiction
* truespo
* truethinspo
* 1200isjerky

---

[Discussion] what food have you not eaten in a long time because of your ed?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:35:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukh1l/what_food_have_you_not_eaten_in_a_long_time/
---
I miss homemade pb&js. peanut butter is a huge binge food and bread isn't safe so I usually don't have them in the house. I keep telling myself I'll have one when I'm near my gw, which in retrospect is stupid because I've wasted so many calories on all sorts of junk that I might as well have been eating the damn sandwiches. haven't had one in years and I can't bring myself to do it.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm not going to be 88lbs in September. I weighed 97lbs yesterday. Also, my boyfriend is amazing.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:27:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukfhr/im_not_going_to_be_88lbs_in_september_i_weighed/
---
Ok so first.. Like wtf bros?

Saturday morning I was 93lbs, right? I was meant to be restricting to 500kcal that Saturday because I was only seeing my partner for a few hours.. then he surprised me by taking me to a fair to make up for not getting to spend the weekend together (cus I love fairs) and buying me fair food. I was mentally unprepared and ended up overeating fair food, not a large quantity but quite a few calories because of fried things, but didn't stuff myself..

But then Sunday morning I was 97lbs.

WHYYY. I mean I knew it was physically impossible for all that to be fat, so I had to laugh about it really. I love fair food but havn't had food like that in a long long time so that might contribute to bloat/digestive issues. I don't feel too awful but.. god it is kind of awful. Lol. How can the body do that?! A legit 5lbs of.. what? Water, bloat and shit?

I'm scrapping my 88lbs by September goal. I'm making it 90lbs by September, 88lbs by Halloween (to look awesome for the fancy dress charity run I'm doing - I'm gonna be a zombie hunter!). Cus I am a greedy pig with no willpower at all mainly.. but it's nice to let go of that stress.

Aannnddd you know, I feel okay about it because.. when my boyfriend surprised me by taking me to the fair, and buying all my food for me, we.. ended up having a heart to heart about my eating. He knows. He just knows. We're not saying it straight out but he knows. He made sure I ate food he knows I like by buying me everything I wanted and urging me to get food he knows I'd want. And I ate it. And I couldn't help obviously feeling guilty.. and he was not surprised at me feeling guilty. And that's when we sat down and spoke.

He told me, I don't need to lose more weight. If I am hungry, eat. If I want to treat myself to junk food from time to time, I should do it without guilt. He said I'm thin, I don't need to worry about being fat. He said though, he wont ever tell me I'm too skinny even if I lost weight from here, but that I'm thin and have a great body, and that I can look really fit if I want to with my activity if I eat to fuel it. He pointed out a really fit looking woman who was wearing a crop top at the fair and she looked AMAZING and said to me 'Your body looks so close to that since you started the gym, but doing it involves eating well too'. I told him, I don't see that in the mirror. I see a really fat person. He told me I am very far from fat. He said he loves me, that I'm beautiful, have a perfect body.

He told me he will always love me, no matter my size. Then I ate some more, sat with him in the sun.

I wanted to be 88lbs by September 1st for my very first break away with him, our first proper little holiday together (we havnt been able to afford it before now). After our chat, it hit me that.. he doesn't need that from me.

Of course, he's not the only reason I want to be 88lbs. I want to be 88lbs for myself. One chat with him wont stop that, it's in my head. I need it. One chat with him wont fix my issues with eating. But.. it does mean.. I don't need to stress about reaching it for September 'for him'.

I feel a little better. I wont be changing my plan - I'm still sticking to the same fast/restrict plan that I am comfortable with - changing it freaks me out no matter what and that's just something I can only accept for now cus Im not ready to get out of it - and I am still going to be working on reigning in my binges. 88lbs is still my goal. I'm just not going to ruin my first holiday with my amazing partner by basing my feelings about it on what weight I am for it. Because being with my boyfriend is so, so much more than that.

Phew.

But fuck 5lbs gain in a day lolololol ew.

---

[Discussion] Whats the most you've lost in a week?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:14:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukd6p/whats_the_most_youve_lost_in_a_week/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend caught me using this sub
/u/Nand5643 [1.71 m | 67.9 kg | 23.4 | -17 kg | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:06:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukbqi/boyfriend_caught_me_using_this_sub/
---
Had to make a throwaway to even post this, but I feel so cornered! He and I were just chilling in bed browsing reddit when he noticed this sub on my account (he reddits so he looked directly at the name).

I don't know if any of you guys have been "caught in the act" like this, but I actually felt like a deer in headlights. He knows I've struggled with EDs in the past but I don't think he understands the disorder never just leaves... I've been trying to lose weight again lately, actually down nearly 40 lbs the "healthy way" but it's a constant struggle to force that kind of balance. I still every day fight my ED urges and I have no idea how to just explain that without setting off alarm bells and making him think I'm starving myself again. It's never that easy!

Sorry, just wanted to rant because no one else would really understand the kind of stress that gave me. I really hope he doesn't get extra vigilant about my eating now :(

---

[Goal] (NSFW) I'm so proud of myself. Finally close to 100Ibs again :)
/u/mandarinexd [5'3" | CW:99 | BMI:17.74 | - 11 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 12:54:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uk9f3/nsfw_im_so_proud_of_myself_finally_close_to/
---
https://i.redd.it/koo9thlejfbx.jpg

---

[Other] skip to 7:20
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 12:52:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uk92o/skip_to_720/
---
http://youtu.be/ew0JrQuJISY

---

[Discussion] I videotaped everything I ate yesterday...binge eating/bulimia
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Mon Jul 25 12:03:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ujzxw/i_videotaped_everything_i_ate_yesterdaybinge/
---
another video....
thanks for watching <3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmQox8iL5cQ

---

[Rant/Rave] My mom just asked me if I wanted to join a diet clinic.
/u/allquiets [5'1 | 140 | 26.53 | -4 | 95 | F(?)/16]
Created: Mon Jul 25 11:09:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ujoz3/my_mom_just_asked_me_if_i_wanted_to_join_a_diet/
---
I'm about to cry. I'm probably overreacting — she knows I'm 'on a diet' and it's just because there's a promotion going on that would make it free for me, but. It's less that a week after I told her that I had a lot of problems with disordered eating, and now I feel like shit. I was planning on eating a reasonable amount of food today, but fuck that, I've lost my appetite. At least I've been reminded about what a fat ass I really am.

---

[Help] Uncontrollable hunger when EC stack wears off?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Mon Jul 25 10:24:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ujg3t/uncontrollable_hunger_when_ec_stack_wears_off/
---
Does anyone else experience this? I try to only take it once a day because I have anxiety and the caffeine is already way too much for me, but I seem to be much better off if I don't take an EC stack because once it wears off I always binge.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 25 10:02:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ujc13/daily_food_diary_july_25_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Intro] Intro
/u/YourChinaDoll [5'1" | SW: 169 | CW: 130.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 09:40:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uj7um/intro/
---
Hi, lovelies!

I have been lurking here for a while, but I finally decided to make an account so I could be a part of this community. You all are so sweet and supportive, it just warms my heart that this sub exists. I'm a 21 year old student. I've had issues with food and my body for as long as I can remember, but I first purged when I was 13. The last couple years have been pretty rocky, but I think I'm finally starting to get my b/ping under control so I can attain the body I want. After all, my body is a direct result of my choices, right? Thanks for reading!

---

[Thinspo] Loving my collarbones today
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 09:38:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uj7i4/loving_my_collarbones_today/
---
http://imgur.com/a/e8au4

---

[Discussion] Good teas that don't effect birth control?
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway
Created: Mon Jul 25 09:22:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uj4mm/good_teas_that_dont_effect_birth_control/
---
Hi all,

I've been a long time stalker and long time struggler and recently because I've been spending more time with my lovely boyfriends family (who puts butter in freaking everything) I've been gaining back all the lovely weight I lost...

I want to drink my teas like dandelion tea but I don't know how it effects nexplanon birth control, do any of you? Or know of any that wouldn't? I'd really rather not get pregnant due to tea messing it up (could you imagine omg).

Thanks sorry I can't flair or anything I'm on mobile.

---

[Help] Covered in bruises
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:118 | BMI:20.66 | GW:108 | F -10lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 25 09:01:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uj0tx/covered_in_bruises/
---
I need help guys. My legs have so many bruises and I honestly can't remember how I even got them, I'm just bruising that easily. My mom freaked out on me this morning about it and is saying how what with the bruising and how much weight I've lost (not even that much tbh) that I need to go get a physical done.

Does anyone know if there's a supplement I can take to help not bruise so easily? I think if I get that under control and buy some better fitting clothes she'll get off my back. Please help!

---

[Discussion] It's crazy for me to think about how much meat I sued to eat, and what normal amounts are here in the US.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jul 25 08:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uizs2/its_crazy_for_me_to_think_about_how_much_meat_i/
---
Living in Oklahoma, and having a cattle farmer as a dad I used to be really gung-ho about meat.

Like, "everyone should eat meat at least once a day" kind of gung-ho.

But now that I'm learning more about nutrition, and the other ways you can get iron and protein into your diet, I'm appalled.

I've always hated big industry farming. My dad is a hippie. Smokes hella weed and all his animals are really well taken care of and roam free. But, I never realized that the amount of meat Americans eat is the #1 reason we farm that way. Weird to never notice the correlation. I'm assuming all the societal brain washing here about being "foodies".

I became pescatarian/vegetarian (I eat meat from fish and shrimp maybe once a month, at most) and now I don't understand how I scarfed down sausage, bacon, bbq'd meat, steak, ground hamburger every single say *shiver*

NOBODY NEEDS THAT MUCH MEAT. I think "no meat Mondays" are a good start. There's no reason we should be killing millions of animals daily, having to keep so many for butcher that they're huddled in inhumane facilities, and ruining our earth so we can have 3+ meals a day with meat.

Is it ED thinking, or do you guys think that people could eat meat once a week and be fine?

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[Help] Punishing myself for being a pig....
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 08:53:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uizdw/punishing_myself_for_being_a_pig/
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...by forcing myself to eat food the next day. It is compulsive. I feel controlled by something greater than me. This spiral is going to fucking g ruin me. How do I stop it?! I already took a Klonopin in case it was due to panic eating, but no benefit. Now I'm even more panicked. For breakfast, which I don't normally even EAT, I've so far had a bag of cheese popcorn (120) and 3 mini bags cashews (3x160).

I don't want my life to fall apart. This is all I have left to rely on right now and my body is fucking up everything. The devil lives inside my brain. Even when I evade him, he's close behind and we inevitably catch up to me. Every time. Every decade. Forever.

I don't want to eat, but I don't want to die.

I hate this brain and this fat body.

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[Help] Help!
/u/Onthedownlowplz [177cm | 60.4kg | 19.4BMI | 9.6kg | Male]
Created: Mon Jul 25 08:02:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uiqpd/help/
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[removed]

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[Help] Is this possible??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 06:27:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uic0w/is_this_possible/
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So yesterday morning I got on the scale and it said 112.8, then during the day I ate regularly (I'd estimate around 2000cals) but also exercised a lot. This morning however I was up at 115.4???? I have been getting enough water, but I haven't had a BM in 3 days. Could that be it?

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[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! July 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 25 06:03:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ui8m6/weekly_stats_update_july_25_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 25, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] What's your ED Chow?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Mon Jul 25 05:35:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ui51w/whats_your_ed_chow/
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I used to cook elaborate meals all the time and really identified as a food nerd/cook/baker, but have been trying to shift my mindset to caring less about how food tastes and regarding it as a necessary evil. It's taken a lot of joy and connection out of my life but right now that's less crazy-making than trying to keep up the ED foodie insanity. My goal eventually is to just kind of not care.

It helps me a lot to eat stuff that isn't too "exciting" - simple stuff that tastes okay but not great, with generic textures, super-simple to prepare. Of course low-calorie. Basically the human equivalent of Puppy Chow. Does this resonate with anyone? Do you have any go-to ideas, especially with more protein? My current foods right now:

- scrambled egg whites with one yolk
- vegetable soup/purées, usually broccoli and cauliflower nuked with chicken broth and sometimes a wedge of laughing cow white cheddar
- broth with wilted greens and an egg
- ground turkey or chicken cooked with frozen chopped spinach
- protein shakes/Solent/keto chow
- salad of course, making them plainer these days
- plain gloppy carb stuff (oatmeal, porridge, polenta, mashed potatoes), but this is a major fear area for me and I try to stay as low-carb as possible

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[Rant/Rave] Frustrating family members
/u/katiejay_ [5"9 | Godzilla | BMI 26 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 03:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uhnr1/frustrating_family_members/
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/rant/ ahead

Firstly let me say I am so grateful that both of my grandmothers are still here and I am sorry if yours have already passed, I love both of them very much but they're frustrating the hell out of me right now. I'm getting married in December and *every* single time I see either of them they remind me I need to lose weight to fit my dress and look nice for photos. Without fail.

Tonight it was my brother's birthday and I made a cake, it took fucking aaaages so I decided to have some to make the effort worth it. Then my family decided to get McDonalds because no one wanted to cook, so I ended up eating almost a whole large fries as well. Grandma 1 said "What, are you starving yourself? Eat some more" and thrust her untouched medium fries at me, and tried to make me eat them all, while grandma 2 sat on the couch glaring at my empty chip box and proclaiming that she'd had a salad already so didn't *need* McDonalds like the rest of us.

It's infuriating. One second they're telling me I'm too fat and the next they think cake AND fries isn't enough food, and the next second I'm being blatantly judged again. I'm so glad I don't live at home and almost all the birthdays for this year are over. Ugh. It's really no wonder my mother and I both had/have EDs as teenagers with these two micro managing our diets :|

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[Rant/Rave] I can't even starve myself right
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Jul 25 02:49:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uhmej/i_cant_even_starve_myself_right/
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[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] i love work
/u/turnonmyrighthand [4'9 | 86lb | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 02:19:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uhja5/i_love_work/
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if only because it keeps me from eating for large chunks of time. i wish i could work alot more but im not getting as many hrs as id like (and i have two jobs -_-)

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[Help] I gained 8 pounds in a month
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 01:34:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uheeu/i_gained_8_pounds_in_a_month/
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[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] I am both happy and very upset
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Jul 25 01:25:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uhdhe/i_am_both_happy_and_very_upset/
---
I told one of my co workers (she's a really close friend) over my issues involving food. She didn't start the "oh just eat" bullshit and I'm very happy about that. She's somewhat supportive of what I want to do and as long as I do it as safely as possible she'll keep it to herself.

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[Rant/Rave] Just purged for the first time in 10 years.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 00:51:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uh9r4/just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_10_years/
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I don't even remember if I even got anything to come up back then. I barely got anything to come up now. But I did... I just couldn't stand having the food in me. Maybe I'll get more next time. Maybe I just need to get the timing right. Or maybe I'm underestimating how much time it takes to actually purge. I don't fucking know. It felt good, though (mentally, not physically, lol). It felt validating. I feel like I earned some kind of "your ED is real" badge. And the fact that I can share it here makes me feel even better. But like, we all do this. We all want these badges. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just owning up to it I guess.

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[Tip] 20kcal vegan all-natural ranch dressing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 25 00:22:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uh6iz/20kcal_vegan_allnatural_ranch_dressing/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] Self-locking anti-binge box!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 23:50:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uh2t6/selflocking_antibinge_box/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] I leave for vacation on Sunday and I have to lose two pounds.
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 23:23:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugzk9/i_leave_for_vacation_on_sunday_and_i_have_to_lose/
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Two pounds in a week should be easy but, as I've been barely managing to lose half a pound every week for the past two months, I know I have to step up my game. I'm due for a woosh as my period was last week, so hopefully this is doable.

The plan:
* Cut my daily calories down to 500. That gives me a daily deficit of ~900. X7 days, that's aaaaalmost enough calories to make 2 lbs. I struggle to function under 800 calories per day, so that's going to be hard enough as it is.

* Drink tons of water, tea, and coffee.

* Only eat safe foods as much as possible: egg whites, fat free cottage cheese, fiber one cereal, carrot sticks, pickles, rice cakes, dry popped popcorn, halo top.

* multi vitamin daily, and iron supplement.

*Intermittent fasting on a 20/4 schedule. I'm allowed coffee, tea, coke zero, and broth in my fasting time.

I'm posting here to make this commitment real in my head. Gotta make it, guys!

EDIT: Discovered (once again) that I'm not quite the height I thought I was. Dear Husband was rounding down on his measurements to tell me I was 5'7". Apparently I'm just above 5'7.5" which, as you all know, makes HUGE difference in calculating goal weights.

Now, moving forward with a thrice-checked height of 67.5 inches, I can set my goal weight for 121 quite comfortably. Only two pounds less than it was before. And if I lose the two pounds I want to this week, I can go on vacation comfortably under a 19 BMI. Which is my DREAM.

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[Help] Just dug food out of the trash
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 22:42:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugufg/just_dug_food_out_of_the_trash/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Has anybody felt addicted to exercise?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 22:28:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugsro/has_anybody_felt_addicted_to_exercise/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] I did it!!!
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Sun Jul 24 21:23:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugke3/i_did_it/
---
Today I've just been in one of those moods where I want to fill a pool up with garlic fingers and drown myself in them. They are my one true weakness. I'd be the worst super hero.

I came so close to ordering them, doing that back and forth rationalizing, trying to decide. But I just kept thinking about tomorrow morning, and how what little comfort I'd get from them would be completely gone when I stepped on the scale.

So now I'm going to bed, feeling accomplished. I think if I still want them in a week I'll find a way to work them in, because learning to find a healthy balance doesn't sound bad. But for now, I'm just happy I was able to say no.

Nighty night!

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[Other] Day 5 of making the team: I hate clothes, and I gained weight
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 21:19:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugjzt/day_5_of_making_the_team_i_hate_clothes_and_i/
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My sister gave me a HUGE haul of hand-me-down, which are all incredible clothes that I would never otherwise be able to afford, but she's also tiny. There's a bunch of really incredible clothes that don't even come close to fitting my fat ass. Color me triggered.Also, I nearly a pound in a freaking day. I just started my period,so it's probably water weight, but it's making me want to rip my skin off.

In addition to this, I have plantar faciitis, which means my feet are always killing me and exercising and constantly going to dance class is really painful. Hopefully stretching helps.

I'm gonna spend my night cataloging my closet to try to figure out what I still need before I go off to college (again). It's actually a lot of fun, other than stuff not fitting me. Keeping "motivation clothes" is making me lose my freakin' mind.

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[Rant/Rave] i don't think i can do it
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 21:03:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ughur/i_dont_think_i_can_do_it/
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people are starting to catch on. if my parents found out that i was eating 450 calories a day (plus exercise, so less ultimately) they would freak the fuck out. i'm still so far away from my goal and i'm afraid that someone will find out and force me to binge and get even fucking fatter. today i told my dad that i want to lose at least 30 more pounds and he freaked out. i don't want to be forced to get fat. i don't want to go back to the hospital.
and i still feel like a faker. no one will take me seriously because i'm still so fucking fat. no one would believe that i have an eating disorder since i do actually eat (fasting gives me horrible headaches). i don't even like admitting it to myself. people on tumblr keep sending me messages trying to convince me that i have an eating disorder but i'm so fucking fat that of course i don't, it's not anorexia if i'm a fucking whale already.
i just want to be skinny. that's all i want. i want to be skinny.
sorry for the rant.

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fat people motivate me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:54:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uggmm/fat_people_motivate_me/
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[removed]

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[Help] Coffee, Gum, and Splenda
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 89 lbs | 19.21 | -51| F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:49:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugfz4/coffee_gum_and_splenda/
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Do you guys log the calories for coffee gum, splenda, and coffee? I've stopped using splenda and switched to a stevia extract and try my best to not drink no cal drinks with splenda but I love my gum an coffee. I work at a coffee shop and I get free coffee (which i love) but i've been sticking to tea because on our nutritional guide it says hot coffee, espresso, and cold brew have calories. The calorie count is very little (4-5 calories) but I feel like if I'm having 2 to 3 cups I should count it; same with gum. Even at places I don't work at, coffee is listed with a calorie count. I also chew soooo much gum and I make sure to chew it for 40 mins bc that roughly equals the calories to burn it, but if I'm chewing so much gum that has 5 calories each piece I feel like I should log it.

***edit: Also forgot to mention spices, cinnamon, pure vanilla extract, and other stuff for cooking (when it's in low cal amounts)

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[Rant/Rave] Sugarfree gum haul!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:46:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugfkq/sugarfree_gum_haul/
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https://imgur.com/gyHV2dE

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[Help] Diagnosing Dizziness?
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:39:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugeju/diagnosing_dizziness/
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I have felt light-headed when I stand up quickly over the past couple hours. I have been sipping on water pretty much all day. I ate 400-500~ calories yesterday, and 500-600 calories today, so it's not as though I'm hardcore fasting or anything.

I'm straddling the underweight/healthy BMI, so... what's going on? Is this something that could be caused by a vitamin deficiency or something?

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[Help] How to deal with EC stack / weight / exercise plateaus?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:37:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugefb/how_to_deal_with_ec_stack_weight_exercise_plateaus/
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I think I'm going to hit a plateau very soon because I lost 25lbs very rapidly.

Currently, I have one binge day, 2 fasts days, and 4 restriction days of 200 calories max. I get 3L of water a day, I replenish electrolytes very well. My EC stack seem like they're not working for me anymore and I feel like I should increase caffeine... but I've been very high-strung lately with the increase where I'm literally yelling at people out anxiety. I've been running better each and everyday but am seeing no difference...

I feel a bit hopeless and I feel like a fucking whale. Should I opt for a 30 day water fast? I think I can manage to do it if I throw out all my food today. I don't have any binge foods, just pickles, spinach, red wine vinegar, and goat cheese as of right now.

Any advice is appreciated rn, I'm so desperate to not feel this way anymore.

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[Tip] Tried out a new idea for a decadent, sweet, dessert-like snack... A baked banana! [105 calories]
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:15:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugbbw/tried_out_a_new_idea_for_a_decadent_sweet/
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Today when I went to have a banana in the evening, I had a great idea for how to turn it into warm, sweet, moist comfort food without adding a single calorie. I sliced it lengthwise, put it on a baking sheet, and baked it for about 5 minutes at 400° F. A medium banana comes in at around 105 calories, and if you want a little something extra for flavour you can sprinkle some cinnamon on top at 6cal/tsp. It basically tastes like a flour free, super moist banana bread fresh out of the oven! Definitely something to try if you have a craving for a warm dessert!

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[Intro] i'm back. new username.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:11:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugawz/im_back_new_username/
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[deleted]

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[Tip] For fellow Canadians
/u/starry_daydreamer [4'11" | 99 lbs | 21.2 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 18:52:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufzte/for_fellow_canadians/
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I just discovered that costco sells pb2, in case any of you are interested :)

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[Rant/Rave] There's coconut oil in my hair right now and it's satisfying my cravings
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 18:26:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufwbo/theres_coconut_oil_in_my_hair_right_now_and_its/
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GUYS. guys.. GUYS!

I bought coconut oil for the first time yesterday and today I decided to use it in my hair as a mask :D I dampened my hair first, and then since I have a ton of hair I kind of just slapped it in. Now about 1 hour and a half has passed and I. smell. so. good.

I can't stop swishing my hair back and forth. I feel like [this](http://i.imgur.com/EhvA8Gk.gif) right now.

Does anybody else sometimes smell things to satisfy a craving? Tell me all about it!

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[Intro] Intro of sorts
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 18:13:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufuj7/intro_of_sorts/
---
I've been here for a week or so, though I've been struggling with disordered eating for a few months now.


Over the past year, I've started experiencing IBS type symptoms. My parents are doctors, but I've never been officially diagnosed beyond my dad telling me, "It runs in the family." It started really mild, tummy upsets and heartburn, only to progress into a nightmare of symptoms. At least once a month I get afflicted by something my Aunt calls the "Master clear," (she's the only one in my family who has it as severe as me). It's basically gastroenteritis without the actual viral infection, vomiting and diarrhea for a day or two. I have no idea what food items trigger it, but it led to me becoming obsessed with food, everything I might eat was a threat. After that I lost a bit of weight, I was captivated by the number on the scale dropping. I started weighing myself every day, started restricting calories more - but with the calorie restriction I noticed my IBS symptoms fading away in conjunction with my weight. It's probably due to not eating much of anything, but the calorie restriction also helped ease my anxiety. The control helped me feel better, and IBS is supposedly super connected with stress levels, so somehow this "disordered eating" led me to feel better. Initially at least - now I'm tumbling head first into a suicidal-thought-ridden hell hole, the only thing making me feel better is not eating.

At least I'm not overweight anymore.

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[Rant/Rave] I'm the baker in the family..
/u/ctrl_alt_mermaid
Created: Sun Jul 24 17:58:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufs5n/im_the_baker_in_the_family/
---
Next weekend it's my brothers birthday and I've been assigned cake baking duties. I love baking but this one is going to kill me.. I'll be making a mirror glaze cake which is basically all sugar and the glaze has to be poured over a cake that has a chocolate mousse coating covering the outside of the cake. As if having to eat a slice of it on the day isn't already bad enough, It's a two day process to make this cake so I have to avoid dipping fingers for taste tests both days plus I need to do a practice run since I've never made a mirror glaze before and there's going to be a lot of people at this party so it has to be perfect.

I can handle not binging if I don't buy junk food but when things like this are right in front of me it's so hard.

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[Tip] PSA for Halo Top and Arctic Zone for y'all that can't find or afford them
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Sun Jul 24 17:36:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufp07/psa_for_halo_top_and_arctic_zone_for_yall_that/
---
I just brought home my very first pint of Halo Top in Birthday Cake and it is sooooo good. Too bad that it is $5 a pint and usually sold out. Here's a few tips for you guys.

Check around in different sections of your grocery store. Kroger carries Halo Top with the natural foods but puts Arctic Zone with the regular ice cream. Your store may carry it but hides it someplace weird.

Don't be afraid to ask the store manager or customer service to order Halo Top or Arctic Zone for you. Sometimes the person who orders for dairy will be different than the person who orders for natural/organic foods, you may get lucky with one rather than the other. It never hurts to ask!

If you still can't find it or the price point is too high here's a recipe!

[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/keto/comments/36pch5/on_a_mission_to_recreate_halo_top_ice_cream_in_an/) recipe was lovingly given to us by the official Halo Top!

[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/xxfitness/comments/40w686/insanely_delicious_homemade_halotop_ice_cream/) recipe was created by a redditor and looks a bit simpler to follow.

Both recipes can be made using the ice+salt+shake method but would benefit from an ice cream maker. I paid about $40 for one off Amazon and then was filled with regret after finding an almost brand-new ice-cream maker in goodwill. Novelty cooking gadgets like popcorn poppers, ice cream makers, and mandolins pop up pretty frequently in thrift shops. If you are patient and lucky there's no need to break the bank.

<3

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[Thinspo] An alternative source of thinspo: art history
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 133 | 22.39 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 17:25:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufngu/an_alternative_source_of_thinspo_art_history/
---
http://imgur.com/a/T1HZw

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[Rant/Rave] Kroger has a sale on powerade!
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 16:41:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufh3m/kroger_has_a_sale_on_powerade/
---
https://imgur.com/a/wbiwP

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[Tip] I HATE stevia, but found a solution!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Sun Jul 24 16:34:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufg09/i_hate_stevia_but_found_a_solution/
---
0 cal Torani Vanilla syrup. This shit is amazing, and doest taste 0 cal. It's actually kind of scary to use. Seems too good to be true haha

Just a tip for anyone who hates that chemical aftertaste of other artifical sweetners *yuck*

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[Rant/Rave] B/p'd for the first time :-/
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | HW 180 | CW 117 | LW 114.6 | 29 F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 16:25:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufeke/bpd_for_the_first_time/
---
Guess I just needed someone to talk to... well, not even that so much as just someone to listen. My SO is out of town for the weekend with his asshole loser high school friends who, long story short, trigger me with profound, immeasurable intensity when I even think about them more than superficially or momentarily.

Calorie counting has been my thing for years but it's gotten intense recently, on occasional days burning more than I consume, something that had never even come close to happening in the past. I started heavily restricting just a few weeks ago and am down over 10 lbs since then.

This past week I successfully restricted like crazy with the intention of giving myself the opportunity to binge on pizza and fries today, which I obtained and ate a portion of. And then rather than feel satisfied and happy like I expected, I felt guilty and sick and self-loathing and... well, wound up purging twice for the first time. Also (minor) cutting for the first time in a long time.

I think I'll be sticking to restricting from now on because the anxiety of not knowing how many calories I purged has been plaguing me all day. But I'm just tired, and frustrated, and lonely, and fat, and worthless, and just generally feel like death. I hate myself so much. I don't know why anyone here would even listen to me. You shouldn't.

This is probably meaningless word salad and I have the least severe problems of anyone here. But seriously, I just... I guess I just needed to get off my chest that food is starting to consume me, I can't deal with the increasing guilt, and I'm not okay. I'm really not okay.

ETA: additional ranting

---

[Help] How harmful do you guys think my new diet will be? Looking for damage control tips.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Sun Jul 24 16:24:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufegk/how_harmful_do_you_guys_think_my_new_diet_will_be/
---
I'm stocked up on tea, coffee, powerade zero, 20 cal hot cocoa, 5 cal boullion, lettuce, and tomatoes.

I'm not going to limit myself from any of this. I'll eat/drink as much as I want, but this is what I'll be consuming for however long I can handle it. Recently this is really all I've been craving so I'm hoping I can do this AT LEAST a month.

What do you think are the consequences of this? Of course what we do will always have consequences. But will I end up in the hospital? I'm just making sure I'm not doing something really horrible.

---

[Discussion] Glucomannan Pills?
/u/Miss_Embie [5'6" | 135 | 21.7 | -17| F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:55:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf9sv/glucomannan_pills/
---
So, I was wondering has anyone had Glucomannan 500mg pills from [amazon](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Glucomannan-500mg-Konjac-Fibre-Capsules/dp/B00OKE080O/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8) I usually use Slim sips to make me fuller but I run out of that stuff fast and it's not that cheap. So if anyone has used the pills, did they actually make you feel fuller?

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[Thinspo] [thinspo] getting back to my goal!
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:32:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf699/thinspo_getting_back_to_my_goal/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/9f1fbe88460a405594fc90c3914f1128?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=dd9aa92b579d219efbd8ef7701eefd08

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[Help] What to watch
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:31:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf5zz/what_to_watch/
---
I need shows to watch. I watched all of what I could find of Secret Eaters last night. I tried my 600lb Life, but that's just way too gross. I honestly almost puked and I'm a fatty.

Can't flair, on mobile

---

[Goal] Getting back on track. Again. For the last time?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:02:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf17m/getting_back_on_track_again_for_the_last_time/
---
It happened slowly, but moving in with my GF had me slipping up. Going out for ice cream once a week, eating bigger portions...hell, I even started eating about half of whatever I planned to chew and spit. And to top it off, a food heavy vacation weekend...I dont know exactly what I weigh right now, I've been bloated and constipated on and off for days, but the last low number I saw this week was 98. My ugw was 95, and then i got relaxed, and now I'm nearly hitting 100 again? No way, no thanks. I dont think so. I dont fucking think so.

New plan:

900cals/day MAX

GW1: 95.0

GW2: 93.0

GW3: 90.0

UGW: 87.0

Also avoiding C&Sing as much as possible. However, if c&s does happen, I am not allowed to swallow a single bite. Every oz gets spat back out.

Today I went to the grocery and loaded up on diet soda, seltzer water, tea, and veggies. I also got a huge bag of frozen veggie dumplings that are somehow only 27 cals a piece (black magic, I assume. Id share the brand with you but the entire bag almost is in korean i think)

I'm really trying to change my mindset this time. I dont want to just look thin, I want to think thin. I want to look at food and shrug. I dont want to obsess over it all day. I want to be the kind of girl who just forgets to eat because its not really my thing. I dont want to care about feeling full. If i can make all this a habit...maybe I wont have to start over anymore.

This is mostly to help motivate me. Saying my plan outloud (on here) makes it feel real. Like a reintroduction, I suppose. I'm back on the weightloss train with you guys, choo choo lets go!

---

[Help] Are there personal trainers that "specialize" in eating disorders?
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:01:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf16f/are_there_personal_trainers_that_specialize_in/
---
Hi everybody,

When I can afford it, I plan on investing in personal trainer meetings, and I'm curious if anything like this exists because I can't find it directly on the internet. Most of what I'm finding is tips for personal trainers on how to identify somebody with an eating disorder.

Right now I'm just restricting, heavy daily cardio with full intention of still losing weight. However, when I get to my goal weight I want to start eating at maintenance (D: scary) and muscle training. Do any of you know if there are personal trainers with experience on how to work with people recovering/recovered from an eating disorder?

They'd understand stuff like why it might be difficult to see weight gain even if it's muscle, why it might be harder to up calorie intake for the sake of muscle, and all the other wonderful things that come with an ED.

Thanks in advance!

---

[Rant/Rave] Just had a major freak out over food..
/u/peanutbutteredbanana
Created: Sun Jul 24 14:54:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf014/just_had_a_major_freak_out_over_food/
---
hi, obligatory intro of long time lurker and first time poster.

im on a strict 800 calorie a day diet and I religiously plan my food the day before. i try to net at exactly 800. i asked my mom to pick up these stupid vegan chicken replacements at the store and she said she did. I just tried to cook them but she got the wrong fucking brand that isn't even vegan. now my whole day is screwed up and I'm crying and I feel like I'm going to binge now :(

sorry, just needed to rant about how pathetic I am. also no flair bc on mobile.

---

[Rant/Rave] 185 cal dinner! Meal prep rocks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 13:52:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uepmy/185_cal_dinner_meal_prep_rocks/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/52e38297e7d949fc934fb5b3f8f9f4f8?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=67867bde2079142e8413a4c45312bc1e

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[Discussion] Weird reasons for fasting
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 13:47:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ueot3/weird_reasons_for_fasting/
---
Does anyone else fast for weird reasons? I decided to today bc my husband refuses to address his own mental health issues and I'm pissed at him. I can't control what he does, but dammit I can control what goes into my fat mouth.



On mobile, can't flair.

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[Other] (other) Thought you'd like what I keep on my fridge for motivation (translation in comments)
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | FAT AF | Binging is shite | 21 / F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 13:43:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ueo3f/other_thought_youd_like_what_i_keep_on_my_fridge/
---
http://i.imgur.com/uOqTpmC.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] My eating is everywhere at the moment.
/u/smallsmallersmallest [168cm | CW 52.5kg GW 47kg | 18.66 | -8.5kg | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 13:30:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uem2b/my_eating_is_everywhere_at_the_moment/
---
I know we get a lot of posts ranting about binges but ughhhh it's so frustrating. I cannot stop eating. Friday I binged massively, Saturday I did my first over 24 hour fast (33.5 hours!!), which I was really proud of, and then today I go and ruin it by binging again.. Seriously, it was so easy yesterday to not eat and then today I couldn't stop. I find that once I start eating it's harder to say no and every fortnightly Sunday I have to eat two meals a day (instead of the usual one) because I'm with family and eating midday makes me way more likely to binge in the evenings, which is why I try to only eat at teatime. But I'm not going to let this binge get any bigger tonight, and I'm going to do well tomorrow. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon and I don't want to be all bloated for it, I would feel disgusting and not be able to concentrate. I just hope today's bloat will be gone by the morning because my waist is a whole inch bigger than it usually is and I'll need to fit into my skirt.

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[Rant/Rave] just had the most hilarious argument with my bitch of a mother
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 12:49:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uefjl/just_had_the_most_hilarious_argument_with_my/
---
[removed]

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[Goal] Going to start this week better
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 11:47:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ue5dx/going_to_start_this_week_better/
---
This weekend has been the worst, drank/ate way too much Friday and Saturday morning. Last night I decided to not be social and go to bed early after only one drink and working out to Netflix. Got up at 4 this morning, took an EC stack and went to the gym for two hours because binge watching Netflix is way better when on the bikes. Afterwards I felt actually kinda good about myself despite my weight being up to 101 (it's been more in the high 90's lately).


Anyway, I hope this momentum keeps going and I can clean and maybe even feel sexy enough to Skype my SO. I hate my arms in these pics, but my stomach is finally getting back to normal.

https://imgur.com/Fkk0BqS

https://imgur.com/Fkk0BqS




Thanks everyone here for your wonderful support :)

---

hello again!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 11:14:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ue08h/hello_again/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] What do you get at Costco?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 11:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udxpd/what_do_you_get_at_costco/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] how do you guys take your coffee?
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Sun Jul 24 10:59:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udxm0/how_do_you_guys_take_your_coffee/
---
i love coffee, it keeps me energized without a ton of calories, but i hate the taste plain. i need milk and sugar but then i feel like i just drank sugar. how do you guys do coffee?

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[Rant/Rave] Another Germany trip update
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 10:10:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udq23/another_germany_trip_update/
---
*Good News:* I'm pooping again!!

*Bad News:* I'm on my period and I'm super bloated and I'm also gaining weight and I've lost almost all of my muscle mass!! And on top of that I don't have access to a scale for another week and a half!!! 💀🔫 ((kill me!!))

II'm being forced to eat 3 square meals a day and purging isn't an option bc I never get time alone anymore!! and school starts in 2 weeks so ive got 3 weeks tops to do damage control which isnt enough to get me back to where i was!! On top of that I'm suPER EMOTIONAL BC BPD AND I'M GETTING OVERWHELMED BC I'M EXPECTED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE 24/7 AND I'M REALLY ANTISOCIAL WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MY FP!!!

tl;dr I'M GETTING FAT AND CAN'T PREVENT IT FOR ANOTHER WEEK TIME IS RUNNING OUT FOR ME TO FIX IT AND IM ON THE EDGE OF A BREAKDOWN AAAAAA 😵💩🚫

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 24 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udosk/daily_food_diary_july_24_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] TDEE help…?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 09:58:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udoal/tdee_help/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] I had a very off putting breakfast...
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 09:51:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udn6v/i_had_a_very_off_putting_breakfast/
---
... and I can definitely say it was a good way to start the day! It was a salad with tuna around 220 calories but I usually use a different dressing and don't add pepper. I can definitely say the dressing isn't sitting well with me but now I really don't want to eat anything else today! Does anyone else eat disgusting food first thing in the morning so you won't want anything else?

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[Rant/Rave] Phantom fat
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 135lbs|21.3|-50lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Sun Jul 24 09:37:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udl9g/phantom_fat/
---
I weighed 170 lbs for about 18 months. At 5'7" that meant I was a size 12 (women's), large.

I recently got rid of most of my clothes and bought a new wardrobe. Everything I bought was size small. I don't know my pant size because the pair I bought had no tag or size. They are a little tight but I'm guessing they are a size 7 (misses).

But when I go to put on the clothes I think they are going to be too small and I'm so scared I'm going to get stuck or not be able to put them on. I tried them on in the store, but in my house I just feel like the clothes are going to be so small.

I have phantom fat around me. Anyone else who lost weight have this happen to them?

---

[Rant/Rave] Being social sucks.
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Sun Jul 24 08:22:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udajp/being_social_sucks/
---
We went out last night and I ended up adding an extra 370 calories to my day because of liquor that I hadn't planned because my friends refuse to accept that I don't drink anymore. I'm mad. At them for not respecting me and at myself for giving in.

When we were out I also ran into this guy who I'm in a sort of FWB situation and ended up sleeping over at his place. We definitely burned some calories with acrobatic hanky panky but then he made me breakfast and I couldn't get out of it. I'm gluten free so I can usually use that excuse but he remembered.

Ugh now I remember why restricting turns me into a hermit.

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[Tip] Cranberry popsicles
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Sun Jul 24 08:19:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uda73/cranberry_popsicles/
---
So I drank some diet cranberry juice today from ocean spray and they're only 5 cals per 240 mL! I figured I'd make them into small popsicles and they come at around 1-2 cals each :D I put around 70 mL per plastic. I'm going to use them for when I want something sweet while fasting :)

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[Rant/Rave] why did my mom have to make ice cream sandwiches?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 03:27:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ucidg/why_did_my_mom_have_to_make_ice_cream_sandwiches/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Sparkling water?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 24 02:28:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ucdhs/sparkling_water/
---
[deleted]

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[Meme/Humor] going to bed tonight....
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 23:59:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubzll/going_to_bed_tonight/
---
https://i.imgur.com/xrF5nyk.png

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[Help] Think one of my friends is a mia trigger for me - but I can't do anything about it...
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 23:25:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubw55/think_one_of_my_friends_is_a_mia_trigger_for_me/
---
So today I figured out two of my Mia triggers - stress from work and spending time with one of my friends, C.

The stress from work I'm beginning to deal with in healthy ways (meditating and deep breathing) but I have no idea how to deal with this one friend in my friend group.

A group of us started to go to the gym together recently (usually my 2nd time that day but they don't know that) and she constantly comments on her own body. She's a good 5-6 inches taller than me and is maybe 50-60 pounds heavier but she thinks she has a thigh gap (when she showed us she was standing with her feet apart and was adamant that that was a thigh gap) and says her ribs show (when she lies down). Another one of my friends was showing us a picture of her before and she laughed and said she didn't see the weight difference. We were drinking the other night and I was talking about CICO and she actually started screaming that I was wrong and healthy fat is worth less calories than unhealthy fat.

She also is very inconsiderate in my house, especially in my kitchen and this always makes me very anxious. She uses my bowls/plates/cups with out asking and I'm weird about people using my safe cups and bowls, then she'll leave them out and not even put them in the sink so I have to wash them before I need them. She'll make mean little comments about food in my fridge. She also invites people over to my house and offers them my drinks (Diet Coke and la croix) and never throws away her trash and it's incredibly frustrating.

We were all supposed to go out tonight but I just couldn't deal with her being in my house so I lied and told everyone I felt sick and needed to be alone and sleep and then b/ped a WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING PIZZA.

I don't know how to deal with her - I HATE confrontation and can't just stop talking to her but it's literally driving me to binge and purge multiple times and I can't keep doing this.

---

[Help] Diarrhea whenever I eat more? (TMI/gross description)
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 23 23:24:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubw1u/diarrhea_whenever_i_eat_more_tmigross_description/
---
Hey guys..

So my eating has been messed up for a long time and I've never experienced this - diarrhea when I eat a 'normal'/large amount?

I fast Monday, Tuesday, Thursdays. I restrict to below 750kcal Wednesdays and most Fridays, and keep it strictly high protein, low carb, low fat. Saturday and Sunday I eat and don't watch my carbs and fat so much.

So it happened last week and I thought I had gotten a stomach bug. I had my usual routine Monday-Friday, and then Saturday morning proceeded to eat kinda normally as my partner was over. By the Saturday afternoon I had terrible watery urgent diarrhoea and thought I had a stomach bug as mentioned, and so had crackers and soup the rest of the day.

It's happened again this weekend, exactly the same. I ate a bit more than usual on Friday but not much (1000kcal rather than 750, more carbs than usual) and had a little diarrhea by Saturday, but not much and didn't dwell on it. While I meant to restrict yesterday as my partner only visited for a few hours, my partner surprised me by taking me out to eat and then later buying me food to eat from the store, so it ended up being a more usual day of intake and not low carb, low fat.. and today I wake up with the exact same watery urgent diarrhea and painful stomach.

Any ideas if it's anything relating to my eating causing this, and why? I havn't changed the types of food I eat at all (even when I ate out with my boyfriend yesterday, it was the exact same meal I order whenever we go there at the weekends except we usually go on Sundays and not Saturdays). Nothing about my diet has changed, besides I am fasting and restricting a bit more Monday-Friday in attempt to reach my 88lbs by September thing.

Any insight appreciated :( Even if you don't know why, have you experienced this?

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[Rant/Rave] Went to the fair with my bf tonight :)
/u/Shelbolovesnate [5'2" | 100 | 18.95 | 35 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 23:03:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubtun/went_to_the_fair_with_my_bf_tonight/
---
Tonight I was bending over to put on my shoes, and he says "Jesus Christ I can see your ribs through your back, that's kind of scary." (Secretly pleased)

And then he said "You remind of that ballerina from that one movie." "Black Swan?!" "Yes!"

:D That is quite possibly the sweetest thing ever! I've never mentioned that movie to him so I was really surprised. I was feeling a bit upset about going to a place with so much fried food, but that made me feel so much better. :)

http://imgur.com/a/9Yq9U

Progress photos because I'm happy :)

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[Help] I just don't get it, please help me understand
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Sat Jul 23 21:52:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ublyr/i_just_dont_get_it_please_help_me_understand/
---
Every time I binge, it takes days of starving to go back to my previous weight. I just don't get it.

Like during my brother's birthday thing. I ate too much for like 3-4 days. But I doubt I ate 3,500 cals more than my TDEE everyday. And yet I gained around 5 pounds. I know, it's probably just food weight and water weight and shit but if it is, wouldn't starving myself for 94 hours help me lose more than 5 pounds since I didn't really eat that much over my TDEE?

I feel like there's something wrong with me. I'm going fucking crazy.

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[Help] This weird thing is happening to me....? I get to hungry...I vomit?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 21:47:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uble4/this_weird_thing_is_happening_to_me_i_get_to/
---
Idk whats going on? Lately I've been letting myself get so hungry I guess it causes nausea, and of course nothings coming up, but stomach bile and some power aid I drank earlier.

But my point is, anyone else going through this?

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another day in the life video: bulimia/binge eating
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Sat Jul 23 21:28:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubj26/another_day_in_the_life_video_bulimiabinge_eating/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PRqXK6uvu4

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[Rant/Rave] [rant??] my grandmother thinks she's having prophetic dreams about me being bulimic
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 23 21:18:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubhw5/rant_my_grandmother_thinks_shes_having_prophetic/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Self-control
/u/music_saves_me
Created: Sat Jul 23 20:50:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubeck/selfcontrol/
---
I'm actually proud of myself. Ive been able to avoid bad (like junk food, take out) food and I'm so close to reaching my ugw. At this point its not even a temptation. I wouldve never have thought myself capable of being successful in mind over matter. But I have and it's great.
Sorry all, had to share my excitement.

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[Rant/Rave] Day 4 of making the team: fuck
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 20:28:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubbk8/day_4_of_making_the_team_fuck/
---
I ate a goddamn 250 calorie muffin today. It was a "healthy" that was homemade with greek yogurt, but still. I guess I should skip dinner! Dance class was HARD today too, I got really dizzy during turns and I think the teacher thought I was gonna die, lol.

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[Discussion] What is your favorite safe food to binge on and why is it Halo Top?
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 19:38:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ub527/what_is_your_favorite_safe_food_to_binge_on_and/
---
Seriously. I don't know how I'm not tired of it yet, but I'm so in love with it.

I've been sticking to 600-700 calories the past few days while my husband is out of town, and basically I just make my way through two pints of ice cream a day. I feel like I'm going wild and being super indulgent, but it's only 480 calories out of my day!

What are other foods you guys find similarly awesome?

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[Discussion] Are any of the Kik groups still going?
/u/jesuistresconfus
Created: Sat Jul 23 19:23:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ub342/are_any_of_the_kik_groups_still_going/
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If so, could someone PM me the relevant username to add?

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[Rant/Rave] People love to judge us and they don't know what we go through.
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 19:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ub05c/people_love_to_judge_us_and_they_dont_know_what/
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It really astounds me how, people love to tell us "proEd" supporters that we're damaging other people and trying to promote ED life when we've said multiple times how terrible it is. I find it really double-standerd-ish that people can have drug blogs, blogs about shoplifting, and so one but some how were the ones that get the brunt of it. No one I have ever seen on this website or Tumblr has ever said having an ED was a good decision. Its a terrible lonely life, that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Many of the people judging us have never experience an ED, and don't know what life is like. Makes no sense.

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[Other] I caught my reflection in a window and loved my collarbones. Bonus tiny thigh gap! It's nice to like what I see sometimes.
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 17:55:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uarqw/i_caught_my_reflection_in_a_window_and_loved_my/
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https://i.redd.it/vk59xjbmr2bx.png

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[Rant/Rave] I am the only one at the gym.
/u/crushtheice [5'2" | CW 100 GW 95 | 18.95 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 17:54:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uarjr/i_am_the_only_one_at_the_gym/
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Unlike all of the normal people in my apartment complex who are enjoying their Saturday by the pool and having fun, I just finished an hour on the elliptical and am now cooling down for 30 minutes on the bike. Fuck brunch, fuck the 'eating for others' performance I had to do today, and fuck my brain for bringing my exercise purging back with a vengeance.

But hey, at least it's quiet in here :)

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[Goal] Oh my god! I didn't think I was capable of having a bridge!!!
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 16:16:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uadrg/oh_my_god_i_didnt_think_i_was_capable_of_having_a/
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https://imgur.com/GTuRjuK

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[Goal] exercise for the day: 13 miles!
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Sat Jul 23 16:11:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uacxa/exercise_for_the_day_13_miles/
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well i had my long run in the morning, went 8 miles at 7:10 pace. then in the afternoon went for a 6 mile hike. i feel so tired but so good- i ate more than i usually would though, but definitely have a net calorie count as pretty low!! :)

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[Discussion] Calculating weekly deficit?
/u/Brannibal-Lector
Created: Sat Jul 23 16:06:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uac9p/calculating_weekly_deficit/
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Hey all! Is there a site or program where I can input my calories for each day of the week along with my weight/tdee and it'll tell me my weekly deficit? I'm finally feeling back in control again (3 weeks purge free) and I'm trying to lay out a solid plan for myself.

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[Rant/Rave] "I need to not binge for a month" update: 9 days and I haven't binged!
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1" | CW: 154 | -13 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 15:17:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ua50t/i_need_to_not_binge_for_a_month_update_9_days_and/
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Ok so, this is ridiculously huge for me right now. A little background - in my early 20s I spent years in the 130 - 140 lb range. I was chubby but I didn't really have an ED then aside from the occasional binging which was rare enough that I didn't consider it a problem. At 25 I was around 160 and realized that people treated me a lot differently, and since I have social anxiety all I really want is for people to be nice to me, so I started fixating. I ended up losing 40 lbs through severe restriction and was almost hospitalized at my low weight (120) for severe depression. That was 2 years ago and probably 10 different psych medications, most of which made me feel like a bottomless pit of hunger. I gained back all the weight, plus 7 more lbs to my high weight of 167.

So to sum up, the past 2 years of my life have been spent binge-eating almost daily and gaining ~50 lbs. I felt really like it would never be under control. But something clicked. When my urges to binge at night come along, I don't let myself become obsessed anymore. I immediately remind myself of my goals which are right now very simple - to fit into most of my wardrobe again and not just the "oversize" stuff I bought when I was smaller that is snug now. Suddenly I'm realizing that nothing I might binge on WILL EVER taste as good as reaching my goal weight will feel.

I just really needed to get this out I think and I love this community so much <3

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[Rant/Rave] I miss being underweight so much
/u/EasyPineapples [5'4 // CW 130 // 22.3 // -4 lbs // F ]
Created: Sat Jul 23 15:17:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ua508/i_miss_being_underweight_so_much/
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My lowest weight was 97 pounds at 5'3, and I remember all the comments I used to get about how great I looked by my friends and them asking me what I ate to get there. Then I got hospitalized and went through a small stage of recovery, where I gained over thirty pounds, which is ridiculous and crazy. I logically know a lot of that was muscle because of the amount of exercise I do, but I do not care about being toned or muscular, I just want to be at a small size again. I miss being able to wrap my fingers around my thigh, I miss the ribs sticking out, I miss the small thighs, I miss the protruding collarbones, I even miss being cold all the time, the nausea and the ravenous hunger, hair falling out, even the fainting episodes because that told me that I was definitely losing weight, even unhealthily. I want my small body back and it's so hard because I've been so used to eating like a normal person for a short time and I'm afraid I can't go back to my old ways, even though I desperately desperately want it. I feel like such a failure.

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[Rant/Rave] [rant] got invited to eat at an old friend's place.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 23 15:13:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ua4d8/rant_got_invited_to_eat_at_an_old_friends_place/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Holiday help!
/u/Fibreoptic_Calico
Created: Sat Jul 23 13:36:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u9pfm/holiday_help/
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Hello! I'm relatively new here, I've chimed in in a couple of posts, but I'm in need to some support/advice.
I'm going away for a week with family (husband, small children, inlaws) and food is going to be a big problem. I am restricting 500-800 cals a day. I've been recovered for years, but am having a hard time at the moment. I got really big after having my children, so it's not like I'm a tiny waif. I only eat a low fat evening meal with my husband, to avoid suspicion, but being with his mum and dad and the kids is going to be a problem. We have clashed in the past and inlaws think I'm difficult so it's going to be tense anyway, I need this control. Please tell it's going to be ok!

Sorry for formatting, I'm on my mobile!

Edit- I can't spell apparently.

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[Rant/Rave] Bittersweet
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 12:32:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u9f8n/bittersweet/
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Good news: I am losing most of my weight off my problem areas (bum thighs hips stomach)!

Bad news: I have sized down out of all my jeans and only have one pair I can still sort of wear. It is reasonably fitted around my calves but the upper leg and waist are so baggy I look like I have a saggy mom butt in these. Embarrassing. Need to buy smaller sizes asap but too broke and not at my ugw away...

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[Help] I need a bit of reassurance right now.
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 10:11:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8thk/i_need_a_bit_of_reassurance_right_now/
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I'm staying one day at the ocean with my family. I told myself I wouldn't count calories beforehand, but I'm just going to listen to my body when I'm hungry. I had two pieces of banana bread for breakfast and I'm not having anything else for a while, but my family is having a potluck tonight. I'm also at a plateau between 121 and 123 right now, so I don't think I can afford to binge. Please remind me that even if I overeat, one day won't make me gain.

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[Goal] I'm at the goal weight I set at 15
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Sat Jul 23 10:05:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8skk/im_at_the_goal_weight_i_set_at_15/
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So, I've been supervised for most breakfasts and dinners the last few days, and today I hopped on the scale, expecting to be severely disappointed.

Nope. Today I weighed in at 110.

I'm blown away, not because I haven't been here before, but because this was the goal weight I set when I was fifteen and 155 pounds.

I might be on here a little less, because I want to try to maintain this for a while before I start losing again. My family is pretty concerned, and I feel like staying here for a couple months might be good for everyone's sanity.

I'm not small, not by any means. But this is tolerable for now.

(Pinky swear, I'll flair when I'm off mobile!)

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 23 10:02:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8s2i/daily_food_diary_july_23_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Discussion] bit of a tmi topic but...is anyone here sexually active (yet not at all comfortable with their bodies)? how do you do it?
/u/sunflowerfairy [4'11" | no goal weight; nothing will ever be good enough.]
Created: Sat Jul 23 10:00:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8ru0/bit_of_a_tmi_topic_butis_anyone_here_sexually/
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hi all. i'm a teenaged girl here that's currently seeing a few guys right now, all of whom are, well, interested in sex. while i'm also very interested in having sex as well, i despise my body and i'm uncomfortable at the thought of these guys having to see me naked. i want to have sex, i don't want to put it off, but i can't imagine being naked *at all*...having them see my ribs, stomach, thighs, etc. it's kind of a weird, confusing situation, i don't know if these guys are comfortable with my body, but i'm really not. should i just have clothed sex? go somewhere dark? just say "fuck it" and woman up?


thoughts? experiences? advice?

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[Help] Going to a pool party/BBQ with the "in laws" who already are worried. Ed worst nightmare? Halp.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Sat Jul 23 09:54:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8qww/going_to_a_pool_partybbq_with_the_in_laws_who/
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I say in-laws because my boyfriend's parents sounds like a mouthful, we've been dating for 6 years ! Where's my ring already!! Ha-ha

Okay onto the subject. As much as I like being told I'm skinny by peers and strangers I find it very uncomfortable when family mentions it. I have become fairly underweight and my bfs mom in particular has been mentioning it with a tsk tsk attitude. I love her ! Don't get me wrong but I feel very small (and not in a good way) when she mentions it.

My bf knows about me ED and is super super supportive of my needs , but I definitely don't want to offend his mother by not eating their BBQ food. (yes there that type of family)

Everyone in their family is super active and skinny so I'm not sure why it's such a large issue.

So any tips on how I can make it seem like I'm eating when I'm hardly at all? I usually just eat veggie burgers but they know I'm not veggitarian. So I definitely could not bring my own burgers. I think I'm going to pick up some sort of side that is hopefully healthy at grocery store for everyone (mostly me). Any tips on this? I find the prepackaged salads are usually pretty high Cal.

On top of that .... The booze. Uhhhh.

Lord help me.

Proed help me.

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[Thinspo] About 2 and a half months of progress
/u/thinsignificant [6'0|142lbs|18.51|-32lbs| F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 09:54:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8qup/about_2_and_a_half_months_of_progress/
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http://i.imgur.com/6UomFjq.jpg

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[Help] There's no way I'm going to gain weight eating 1000 calories a day, right?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Sat Jul 23 09:51:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8qd9/theres_no_way_im_going_to_gain_weight_eating_1000/
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I've been restricting heavily the past few weeks which always seems to lead to binges. I decided I'm at a point where I'm fine with losing the rest of my weight slowly, so I want to eat 1000 calories a day. But when I do that, it feels like I'm going to gain weight. I can't explain it, because even though I know that's well below my TDEE, it feels like I'm going to gain.

Anyone else struggle with this?

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[Discussion] What's your favourite kind of tea?
/u/Itsemurha [177cm | 71.9kg| 22.43| -47kg | GW: 60kg | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 08:57:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8itx/whats_your_favourite_kind_of_tea/
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I admit, I have developed a small addiction to all kinds of teas and just spent a bunch treating myself to some fancier loose leaf brands. I got [red strawberry tea](http://www.tleaft.co.nz/rooibos-infusions/wicked-red-strawberry-rooibos-tea.html), [red african fire](http://www.tleaft.co.nz/rooibos-infusions/red-african-fire-rooibos-infusion.html), [coconut rough tea](http://www.tleaft.co.nz/rooibos-infusions/coconut-rough-rooibos-infusion.html), [honeybush tea](http://www.tleaft.co.nz/rooibos-infusions/honey-original-herbal-infusion.html), plain red bush tea, peppermint tea and some red clover tea. I am a massive fan of the red african fire tea but wanted to try some new ones too from the brand. So excited to try some new flavours other than regular store bought stuff that I have been relying on lately! +_+

Anyways, I am sure there are other tea fans in this community. What are your faves? I'd love some recommendations! I know that peppermint tea is good for suppressing appetite.. are there any other ones that do the same? Do tell!

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[Other] Students with an ED, what are your goals for this coming semester/quarter?
/u/zero-fifty
Created: Sat Jul 23 08:56:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8ipw/students_with_an_ed_what_are_your_goals_for_this/
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I've been a lurker here for a while now and I saw a post about how everyone is getting ready for school.

My current goals are to get into yoga, get good grades this quarter, and reach my goal weight by Thanksgiving. I also want to drink more water and learn how to eat *well* and maintain a vegan lifestyle once I get to where I want to be. I plan on no dating, just casual flirting here and there because I just want to be cute and thin and smart and independent while in college. What are your goals?

Also I'm new to this sub and I feel like I have the confidence to finally post so hello :)

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[Help] I need HELP!!
/u/EatMyInsides
Created: Sat Jul 23 08:22:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8e3l/i_need_help/
---
[removed]

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[Goal] Finally Underweight wooo!!
/u/eldariya [6'3"/190CM | CW:148/67KG | GW: 130/58KG | 17.4 | -118/53KG | M]
Created: Sat Jul 23 07:32:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u87y7/finally_underweight_wooo/
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It's been a pretty hard journey in the past year or so after losing a whole bunch of weight and in the past few months i've been pushing through and I'm finally under 18.5 bmi and I'm only 26lbs away from my goal. I want to thank everyone here for everything also thank you for introducing me to pickles lol.

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[Rant/Rave] I've lost my appetite
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Sat Jul 23 07:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u84jf/ive_lost_my_appetite/
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Normally I'd be thrilled but I feel like death. I haven't hit my calorie minimums for a few days but I've been walking more than usual. If I was at home I think I would feel better but I don't have access to my usual foods which really isn't helping.

I plan to try and eat more today but I just can't seem to bring myself to buy or eat foods because nothing seems like the kinds of foods I want to eat! I have work tomorrow too and my intake needs to be higher for that but I'm scared I won't be able to do it and my legs are already sore as hell and it sucks! I'm only 3.4kg off my GW too and wanting to hit that before end of august is pressuring me to keep not even hit my minimum even though i can stop exercising, eat my maximum and still hit my goal early according to losertown.

What to do :(

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[Discussion] Birth control pills
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 04:00:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7nk0/birth_control_pills/
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So I'm thinking of going on BC for acne and menstrual pain, but I'm afraid of weight gain. I don't understand how it causes weight gain (metabolism, increased appetite?), but I'm wondering what your experiences are. I've heard good things and bad things. I've previously posted to the contraceptive sub about this but I'm wanting a pov from this sub too :)

edit: Thank you everyone for your responses, they were really helpful. I've mostly heard negative things about the pill (elsewhere) even though it sounds too good to be true (weakened period symptoms? improved acne?). And it was recommended by my doctor so I think I'm going to choose it over implanon.

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[Discussion] What's your motivation today?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Sat Jul 23 03:42:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7lzs/whats_your_motivation_today/
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Mine is that I've only purged twice in the last 24 hours (this is huge for me), I've discovered a new safe food that doesn't make me crazy (broccoli and cauliflower nuked in a giant mug with chicken broth and a wedge of Laughing Cow white cheddar - ghetto 5 minute 50 calorie broccoli cheddar soup!), and I'm thisclose to breaking an 8 minute mile split in a 5 mile run. Full of hope and determination today - what's yours?

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[Other] UK people - do you have lovely weather today too? :)
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 23 03:27:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7kko/uk_people_do_you_have_lovely_weather_today_too/
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It's gorgeous here, it's really upped my mood!

How about a nice walk today? I'm going to put on a pretty summer dress and walk around the park.

Treat yourself, love yourself, and enjoy :)

Just wanted to send some love (and to non-UK people too!) <3

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[Rant/Rave] i need to clear my head
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 23 02:37:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7g68/i_need_to_clear_my_head/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] The temptation and struggle is unreal
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 23 01:44:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7bdc/the_temptation_and_struggle_is_unreal/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Carbs vs Calories
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 00:42:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7540/carbs_vs_calories/
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First off, I just bought a scale to face my fear of knowing how much I weight and I found out I lost 5lbs from last week. Today I binged on spinach chips, two pieces of grass-fed jerky, a Kit Kat and Amy's Mexican Casserole and could of swore I had gain more weight, even water weight. But I'm on track of losing at least 5lbs every week until school starts :) I'm pushing myself to loose 1-2lbs a day next week. Lots of running, less eating, and good thinking :)

ANYWAYS back to my discussion.

This week I looked at my calorie intake and carb intake. I took in less than 5 carbs this week (except for today lol). I am on a keto diet, but it's very lenient. I'll eat 45 cal bread once a week for the grains, but grains are so high in carbs.

What contradicts a keto, fat-burning diet with an ED is that low calorie foods (especially those like veggie burgers or vegan alternatives) are high in carbs. And those that are low in carbs (like salami, jerky, etc) are super high in calories (100+).

This only leaves me with the option of spinach, which is low in carbs and low in calories, but I could imagine getting bored of it quickly. Or not eating of course.

**So is it calorie intake or carb intake that's more important to you?**

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[Rant/Rave] "you've been eating all day!"
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Fri Jul 22 22:46:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6ss9/youve_been_eating_all_day/
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I ate 650kcal. What the fuck did I do to make them (family) think that I've been "eating all day?" SIX HUNDRED FIFTY CALORIES IS TOO MUCH?! REALLY?! I'm 6'2" and it's pretty significant restriction for me, at least validate my hunger lmao.

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[Other] A study on the brains of people with a history of anoriexia
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 21:44:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6ll8/a_study_on_the_brains_of_people_with_a_history_of/
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http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2016-07/uoia-afi071916.php#.V5DKuZjFXCQ.reddit

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[Rant/Rave] Professor told me I "look" like I liked pizza. Sorry for the rant.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 21:41:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6las/professor_told_me_i_look_like_i_liked_pizza_sorry/
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[deleted]

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[Other] I thought this tweet from Jenny Holzer was pretty funny :)
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 21:26:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6jfx/i_thought_this_tweet_from_jenny_holzer_was_pretty/
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https://i.redd.it/qlv4jefbowax.png

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[Other] A poetic reminder
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 21:14:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6hx2/a_poetic_reminder/
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https://i.redd.it/u9kdga93mwax.png

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[Goal] Day 3 of getting ready for dance: Down nearly 3 pounds!
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 20:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u69k9/day_3_of_getting_ready_for_dance_down_nearly_3/
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Thanks everyone for helping me stay on track through the Great Pizza Incident of yesterday. I'm already down almost three pounds! Hopefully I can keep this up. So far restricting high (800-1000) and then keeping up with exercising and dancing has been working, so I don't think I'll cut more unless I start to plateau.

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[Help] I feel disgusting
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 20:09:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u690v/i_feel_disgusting/
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I am losing so slowly. I'm eating so close to my tdee. Every time I do, I feel like a failure. My tdee is 1650, and my goal os 1400. So my tdee isn't that much more. But I'm still not reaching my *goal*. I want to fast. But I'm afraid I'll binge. So many foods feel unsafe. I'm just an anxious mess right now.

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[Help] Eating help apps?
/u/OperatingOnScientist [5'3 | 137lbs | 24.94 | F | UGW 110lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 22 20:03:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u68bm/eating_help_apps/
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I'm trying to lose a good 20lbs but myfitnesspal gets angry with me if I eat less than 1000 kcal per day. Are there any apps that will help me stay motivated into not eating as much when MFP tells me that I need to eat more?

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[Goal] UGW reached?
/u/sassypinkdragon [174cm | 49.8 kg | 16.5 | 20 F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 19:21:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u62n2/ugw_reached/
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So today after a few weeks of high restricting and getting almost no where, I finally hit my UGW. http://imgur.com/a/RsVAd

And as for what next...what do you guys think of my plan? My goal was to get to 50 before my europe vacation next week, then eat fairly normally there, and return to my high restriction plan to slowly lose the weight I gain back down to 50. It's all looking up from here, I guess I just wanna see how my intuitive eating goes while in Europe. Fingers crossed! I really shouldn't go below 50 kg, my family is beginning to worry a lot and I feel sick so I'm ok with gaining a bit and then losing it slowly. After all, this is the weight I want to maintain for life.

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[Help] Fasting tomorrow- what to do with free time?
/u/not_an_actual_egg [5'3" | 126lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 19:01:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5zvl/fasting_tomorrow_what_to_do_with_free_time/
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Good god with all the food and carbs and bluch I've been eating I've ballooned with waterweight and probably actual weight :/ And I feel absolutely terrible, both physically and mentally. So I'm gonna be fasting tomorrow (at the least), and ideally for as long as I can stand after that, and probably longer haha. But my main problem with sticking to a fast is boredom. I usually go for walks or to a friends house, but all nearby friends are out of town and it's too hot to walk! I love crafts, and I was thinking about making something tomorrow, but I dont know what :( What do you guys do when you're bored on a fast?

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[Other] ED got my dinner all like..
/u/esiwirartnoC [5'3| 128 | 22.7| -25 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 18:31:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5vix/ed_got_my_dinner_all_like/
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http://imgur.com/x9gOMEV

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[Discussion] Who else hates dating
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 18:19:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5ts9/who_else_hates_dating/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Hallucinations?
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Fri Jul 22 17:48:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5pdy/hallucinations/
---
I feel like a total freak for even making this post right now lmao

Sooooo, uh. The past month or so, I've been restricting to anywhere between 400-800 calories, with the occasional slip up day where I eat over 1000. And I keep seeing things. I was just in the shower and I swear I saw someone standing behind me but when I turned around, there was no one there. Scared the absolute shit out of me. And the other night when I was trying to fall asleep, I swear I heard a voice. It wasn't really saying anything (not that I could understand, anyway) but my window was closed and I know it wasn't a neighbor.

There's just been a lot of stuff like that. Like, I'll see shadows and stuff that I know can't be there, but I still see them? I don't know how to describe it.

Someone please tell me they've experienced something similar so I know I'm not completely losing my mind.

edit: a couple words

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[Rant/Rave] Impatient
/u/at_select_stores_46 [5'2" | 132 lbs| 23 | -8 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 17:37:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5nn6/impatient/
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I'm so impatient! I just want to lose weight immediately. I've been doing a very low calorie diet for the past two weeks and my weight has been fluctuating :(

I'm so impressed with everyone's weight loss, your successes is inspiring but I feel like I'm too impatient to get the same success for myself.

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[Rant/Rave] Went out drinking and fit the first time I didn't get drunk food!
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 17:04:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5iqp/went_out_drinking_and_fit_the_first_time_i_didnt/
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Usually when I go out with friends we get shawarma but tonight we didn't. So, because I've associated drinking with eating, I was on my way into 7-11 when I stopped and evaluated if i was actually hungry or if I just wanted to eat for the sake of eating. Decided it was the latter, hopped back on my bike and went home. I probably should eat something to sop up the alcohol but it's either carrots or the open bag of chips and honestly neither one sounds good. So I'm just going to go to bed. :) Small steps!

Cheers to my hangover tomorrow!

---

Progress after a stumble
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 16:52:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5gys/progress_after_a_stumble/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] 43 Hours Into a Fast
/u/FasterFasting [5' 6" | 168 | BMI | M]
Created: Fri Jul 22 16:11:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5amh/43_hours_into_a_fast/
---
That's pretty much it. Just posting here to remind myself that there's really no reason to break it today. Or over the weekend for that matter, not like I have plans to get drinks or dinner with anyone. I'll probably still feel like a piece of shit Monday morning, but hopefully a smaller piece of shit at least.

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[Help] I spend all day with little kids. Help?
/u/slumberous [5'7" | CW 141 GW 125 | 22.01 | -- | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 15:57:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u585w/i_spend_all_day_with_little_kids_help/
---
Hey guys. I'm a lurker just now working up the courage to post. You all seem so wonderful so I'm really hoping you can give me some ideas!

I'm a nanny. 63 hours a week. And it is killing me. I'm going to grad school out of state in 3 weeks and have no free time during business hours to prep for this huge move. The kids are lovely and sweet half the time, but the other half they are screaming monsters. The stress is way too much for me. I wanted to lose some weight before I went, since I've ballooned up 10 pounds this past year, but I've been stress-bingeing. I've had BED and bulimic patterns my whole life but am desperately trying to restrict instead. 

So, question. How can I keep my appetite under control when I'm around toddlers literally all day? The last two days I restricted just fine, but today I broke and ate a lot of shitty sugary kid food (the only stuff readily available during the day to me). Vaping helps, but I can't do that around the kids or while they're napping because moms pop in and out of the house all the time. I'm barely sleeping and emotionally exhausted which makes it so hard not to binge. I can't chug water and caffeine all day because I only get a few chances to use the bathroom. 

Any ideas at all would be appreciated!! I haven't been this big since high school and I wanted to feel pretty and in control of my life when I started grad school. Instead I'm just bloated and pathetic and useless. 

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[Tip] Review: FiberOne Bran Cereal
/u/throwaway-soph [5'5" | 103.6 | 17.44 | Depends | Female]
Created: Fri Jul 22 15:17:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u51lm/review_fiberone_bran_cereal/
---
So, I have totally no control when it comes to cereal, and usually don't keep it in the house because I can eat a whole box in a day, easy. However, this week I bought a box of FiberOne Bran Cereal and let me tell you, it is seriously the perfect food.

PROS:

1. 120 cals per cup, and each cup is very dense. No sugar because the sweetener is artificial. Also comes in two sleeves not one so you can see how much you ate much better. Protects you from binging, and if you do binge, you still didn't eat too many calories and can see exactly how much you ate.

2. If you lose control and eat 3 cups at once, dry, like I did two days ago, you will not be hungry for the rest of the day, and will wake up the next morning and shit out literally everything in your body. Delicious, filling, and an effective laxative! It may need to also be combined with the liter of Coke Zero I drank with it to get the full effect, but further studies are needed.

3. If you eat about a cup of it and then take a long walk in the heat, you will find yourself so bloated that two hours later, when you need to go out to dinner with friends, you will have literally no appetite and will have to force yourself to eat, despite eating almost nothing earlier in the day.

CONS:

1. If you did not plan or expect to shit out everything in your body you will be a bit freaked out.

2. Bad snack choice if you need to go and be social soon after eating, due to bloating.

3. Super delicious so I still find myself eating a lot of it (but it does negate itself in the morning as previously described).

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I give this cereal 9/10. If you're going to eat a cereal, it might as well be a powerful laxative. Plus its delicious eaten like a regular person, in a bowl with unsweetened vanilla almond milk. Would buy again.


EDIT/UPDATE: Same effects today! I think eating it and then drinking carbonated soda helps increase the effects. I was so full all day.

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[Help] 3 week plateau on net 800 cals a day HELP :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 15:04:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4zb2/3_week_plateau_on_net_800_cals_a_day_help/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Stress of weight gain triggering binges. WTF am I supposed to do??
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Jul 22 15:00:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4yru/stress_of_weight_gain_triggering_binges_wtf_am_i/
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I was chugging along so well restricting between 700 and 1000 and lost 35 lbs. Then it felt like something snapped. I haven't been able to control my intake for the last two months and I'm bingeng almost everyday. Im up 15lbs, it's a nightmare. But everyday I try to get back on track I end up feeling anxious about fucking up and thinking about how fat I'm getting and my response is to just binge?! Wtf kind of a reaction is that?! I don't know what to do, everyday is a failure and I want to cry.

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[Discussion] [Discussion] What is your guyses idea of a stress-free "perfect" birthday?
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Fri Jul 22 14:36:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4unp/discussion_what_is_your_guyses_idea_of_a/
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My birthday is in about a week and I just know my family loves an excuse to go ham at the buffet. I don't even want to think about food on my birthday. I'd rather just go shopping for clothes (All my clothes is ugly and faded and I don't really care but I HAVE to keep up appearances)

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[Discussion] Do diet pills work?
/u/lovelybones98 [5'2 | 115 | 21 | 6lbs | F ]
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:52:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4mzv/do_diet_pills_work/
---
I've heard that they don't? Is this true? Or are there certain brands of diet pills that actually do work? What is your experience with diet pills?

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[Intro] [Intro] Just gave birth - trying to get back to my old weight! Any other moms here?
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:30:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4j76/intro_just_gave_birth_trying_to_get_back_to_my/
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[removed]

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ignorance x2
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:30:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4j5x/ignorance_x2/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/5e09efe14eea40ddbc27ad205f6d7068?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=1aa5b16135a637fd25b37b9bbf094002

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[Tip] Its hot out there today. Maybe take a break?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:29:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4j2c/its_hot_out_there_today_maybe_take_a_break/
---
I know we all love working out, and hot weather is prime time to burn extra calories but its 90+ degrees Fahrenheit where I am and all across the US right now, were in a heat wave!
So if you're gonna work out outside keep lots of water and stay close to home. Or if you're inside, try and stay under the air or keep cool. I can not count how many times, I've underestimated the heat and nearly passed out outside.

Also this heat wave is going to continue for a while so keep plenty of cool drinks in the fridge/freezer.

Stay safe everyone!

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[Help] A question from my ladies that "lost" their periods..
/u/Hi_ilikerocks
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:17:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4gva/a_question_from_my_ladies_that_lost_their_periods/
---
How long into your ED did it take for your period to disappear? I've had disordered eating for a while but only in this past month have I started to restrict my calories very heavily besides binge drinking almost every night. I've been PMSing for over a week, started to bleed a tiny bit finally but then it just up and left and I don't have my period anymore. I'm wondering if this is a symptom of early pregnancy (boyfriend and I have been trying to conceive for about two years now) or if I just fucked up my period by letting my eating habits get much worse very quickly. A little extra info in case it's relevant- my intake varies day to day but for food it's usually under 500-600 cals unless I have dinner at my moms, and normally for me a regular period is a week of cramping, then a week of bleeding afterwords with mild cramping. Any replies would be awesome! Thanks!

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[Help] Mid-cycle bleeding, anyone else??
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:01:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4dwx/midcycle_bleeding_anyone_else/
---
I've heard of people with ED's skipping periods alltogether but never mid-cycle bleeding.

This has happened about 2 times in the last 4 months and Im getting worried. Basically in the middle of my cycle I'll bleed lightly for a day or two, then be fine, then have my regular period.

Not on birth control, or any unussual stress.

what gives? Am I not ovulating and therefore bleeding due to low homormones? Is it just shitty nutrition?

Im not even underweight T.T

Please tell me Im not alone :S

---

[Discussion] Sleeping while fasting
/u/madamdepompadour
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:55:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4ct3/sleeping_while_fasting/
---
So I successfully completed my 24hr fast yesterday and would have continued to 36 but I could not sleep despite haven taken a sleeping pill!

How to combat this?

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[Help] Losing like .2-.6 lbs a day? Not actually looking any different at all?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:45:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4b1c/losing_like_26_lbs_a_day_not_actually_looking_any/
---
I'm losing weight like crazy. Obviously my diet is restricted. Im eating 800 or less calories per day, but it seems too good to be true.

I've lost 3 pounds in 6 days. That seems crazy to me... plus I'm on my period and haven't pooped in a week so???

I realize I'm tall so my BMR is a little higher than the average woman, but still what the fuck

I feel like I'm kidding myself and the scale if going to skyrocket one day because it's been wrong this whole time. I don't look thinner, even though I've lost 10 pounds this month (probably should have been more but binging is a real problem). My thighs are barely touching now, but they don't look smaller? Is this body dysmorphia?

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[Discussion] Anybody eat baby food? I'm thinking about ordering some but feel like an EXTRA weirdo.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:24:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u477h/anybody_eat_baby_food_im_thinking_about_ordering/
---
Please don't judge haha

Anybody eat baby food? I like that it's small portions and really simple ingredients (for the stuff I'm looking at)

If anyone does, what do you eat?

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[Rant/Rave] so I've developed a soy allergy...
/u/likeits2013 [5'8"| 130 lbs | 19.8 BMI | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:19:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u46a1/so_ive_developed_a_soy_allergy/
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... and I'm honestly stoked about it. Soy is in almost everything I currently eat (vegan), so restricting is going to be soooo much easier. If I ever get a craving for chips, cookies, boca burgers, literally anything with soy in it, I'll remember breaking out in painful hives and my throat being so sore I can't swallow water. Until I can afford to invest in soy-free replacement foods, it's just fruits and vegetables for me :)

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[Discussion] DAE Feel more comfortable having 'just in case' food around (eg energy bars in purse) even though you know you won't touch it?
/u/blondesalamander [159cm | CW 43kg | BMI 17.5 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:15:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u45j2/dae_feel_more_comfortable_having_just_in_case/
---
I guess this started as a result of almost passing out and scary low blood sugar moments, I feel genuinely stressed at the thought of not having something 'just in case', especially when restricting. It must look weird to anyone who sees, there's things like Clif Chews in pretty much all my purses, pretty sure some are out of date now anyway.

Anyone have a habit like this?

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[Thinspo] Petite jcktrend bikini model thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:10:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u44nj/petite_jcktrend_bikini_model_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/36wsW

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[Help] Poooooooooop, please!
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:57:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u42c1/poooooooooop_please/
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I know that someone complains about their non-compliant bowels every other day on here, but I can't help but complain about my backed up body. It's been four days and my abdomen is a gurgling war zone that gas barely escapes. The pressure and discomfort woke me up last night, it was so intense.



I use laxatives once a week as it is, because there is no way I can let my constipation go further than a week. My go-to's aren't as reliable as I'm down to 5-800 calories a day. Salt water just has been making me nauseated, and enemas only get so much moving. I would really like to do something to stimulate and strengthen my large intestine into being less sluggish long-term. I drink at the very least 64 oz water daily, and my diet is mainly plant-based with 1-3 servings of protein (diced chicken breast, avocado half, two eggs, tuna).



What do you all eat/drink/take to poop? I can't believe how miserable I feel right now. I have to work today, so you better believe I'm going to resort to an enema. But FFS I want to get better.

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[Goal] I'm only at 5k steps and you know what
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:46:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u408b/im_only_at_5k_steps_and_you_know_what/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] What a week
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:41:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3zfx/what_a_week/
---
Hey y'all, sorry for being MIA this past week, my sister came into town for the first time in months, do I wanted to spend the most of my time with her. However that meant going out to eat almost every meal, hating myself for the past couple days and hiding from this sub out of shame.

I also moved and forgot to bring over my scale to the new place and haven't weighed myself in over a week. -_- Not that I would actually be happy with what I would probably see...

I guess this all goes to show that, yes, I am still alive and, yes, I am probably back at square one. Brb after I cry for the rest of the day.

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[Discussion] Can I know if I'll ever be a size 0?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:35:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3y6r/can_i_know_if_ill_ever_be_a_size_0/
---
Or even a size 2. I'm around a size 6 right now. My stats are accurate. I'm a small at places like Walmart, where 6 is a small. But, at places that actually sell clothes as their main thing, I'm a medium. It just makes me feel not skinny *enough*. I guess that's a hallmark feeling of an ED... I just feel shitty that I'm anorexic and not a size 2 or whatever. And like, I don't know if I'll ever be that small. I have a large rib cage, so I can only shrink so much. I don't know. I won't feel skinny until I'm model proportions. Can I know if I'll ever be a certain size?

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[Tip] [Tip] Article from Thrive Market - "Too Much Dessert? Overdid it on Dairy? Here’s What to Eat to Feel Better ASAP"
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:34:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3y27/tip_article_from_thrive_market_too_much_dessert/
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https://thrivemarket.com/blog/too-much-dessert-overdid-it-on-dairy-heres-what-to-eat-to-feel-better-asap?uid=1006054&uaexptime=1760578869&uatoken=36bcf68c53614433f81797f63e5ffa8c01ae8f04b06f7a49e7a0db49568502d8&utm_content=notebook&utm_medium=promo&utm_campaign=2016_07_22_Notebook_Members&utm_source=sailthru

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[Help] My ideal body is such a moving target
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:30:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3x98/my_ideal_body_is_such_a_moving_target/
---
There was a time where I would've killed to look like [Jennifer Lawrence](http://imgur.com/SA0oU3d) but now I look at that picture, and I think she could lose a few.

Then she did and there was a time I would've killed to look like her [here](http://imgur.com/8btPs2a).

But I look at her arms and her lack of collarbone definition and it's not enough.

There was even a time after that when [Black Swan era Natalie Portman](http://imgur.com/ekBLRLk) was goals af.

But once again, it's not enough, now [Kimiperi](http://imgur.com/VWoQOgr) (shoutout to /u/Noroeste for the thinspo) is my goal. She's my height and thinner than I could ever be, but my God if I wouldn't kill to look like her.

How does anyone handle the moving target? Will anything ever be enough?

---

[Tip] Article from Thrive Market - "Too Much Dessert? Overdid it on Dairy? Here’s What to Eat to Feel Better ASAP"
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:29:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3x81/tip_article_from_thrive_market_too_much_dessert/
---
https://thrivemarket.com/blog/too-much-dessert-overdid-it-on-dairy-heres-what-to-eat-to-feel-better-asap?uid=1006054&uaexptime=1760578869&uatoken=36bcf68c53614433f81797f63e5ffa8c01ae8f04b06f7a49e7a0db49568502d8&utm_content=notebook&utm_medium=promo&utm_campaign=2016_07_22_Notebook_Members&utm_source=sailthru

---

[Discussion] How do you all feel about diet drinks?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:05:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3sxs/how_do_you_all_feel_about_diet_drinks/
---
I love my Diet Coke. Love it. It kills junk food cravings, the bubbles feel awesome on my tongue, it keeps my mouth occupied, and it's 0cal (my favourite phrase)

My boyfriend, however, thinks aspartame is the devil. He won't drink it, eat it, anything.

We don't even live together and he's already banned it from our future mutual house that we have no plans for anytime soon.

I'm curious what everyone here thinks of diet drinks, sweetened with stevia, aspartame, Splenda, whatever.

I kind of see what people mean about it not filling you up and your body is still hungry, but hey, we're all restricting here anyway, so
¯*\*_(ツ)_/¯

What do you guys think?

---

[Rant/Rave] Dear body, you have fat. Burn that and stop bitching.
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:03:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3sl2/dear_body_you_have_fat_burn_that_and_stop_bitching/
---
On mobile, so no flair right now.
That's really a feature Reddit should add to their app at some point.


Fucking seriously though. I am made almost completely of fat and my body thinks it's entitled to food and wants to try and punish me for not shoveling junk into it. Guess what, fatass, food is totally optional at this point. You had 80 calories of oatmeal this morning, and then is more than enough to get you through today. Way more than enough.

I'm extra pissed because I was trying to do another two hour run in the gym today and only got through 30 minutes before I started seeing spots and now I'm all gross and clammy. I felt so accomplished yesterday for being able to get to an hour and 40 minutes without feeling too bad. And I was able to fast literally all day yesterday and I only had like 200 calories the day before. Now I'm stuck feeling like a fucking failure walking on the treadmill. I'm going to make myself walk on here for at least three hours to make up for it. And because I'm such a massive failure I don't get to have anything tonight when I go out with my friend. We were gonna go grab dinner and drinks, but since my fatass can't keep up with my workout routine that is right out the fucking window.

Ugh. The self loathing is real right now.

---

[Help] Honestly, i just need to be told that it's going to be alright
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3shv/honestly_i_just_need_to_be_told_that_its_going_to/
---
So I'm in a career specific intense course. It's ending today, but for the past month, ive spent my Monday-Friday from 9am-5pm with the same group of 10 people. I dont eat during the time that they see me. Except one of them started bringing in snacks. And im awful around snacks. So then the jokes started up because i work out and look skinnier than i actually weigh. All the 'wow, you really eat', 'you can put away so much food!'.

And i hate it, and myself and them. And today is the party. I almost finished a family sized bag of chips. I didnt open them, someone else did, and they set them by me. Then the party planner came back and was mad that they had been opened early (not like we dont have 4lb of ice cream, 4 other bags of chips, pizza and chocolates). And i was really stressed cause i had eaten so much and there was some drama. So i quietly took off (during lunch break) And of course i went to the gas station and had 700 calories worth of shit food. Fuck me im just sitting in my car outside the building crying. Im so upset at myself. I weighed back in at 147 today, which is my terror weight. And im so exhausted. I went to bed at 3am last night cause i exercise purged for 5hrs/1100 calories. And i feel like such a fat failure. The official party hasnt even begun, i just want to go home :(

Tl;dr today is a shit day and i need to be thrown away along with it

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[Discussion] weird fixations you have on certain features?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:52:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3qc6/weird_fixations_you_have_on_certain_features/
---
for years now i've been obsessed with having a very sharp jawline, skinny fingers and very skinny/prominent ankle bones?? does anyone else have anything weird like this?

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling so scattered right now, don't have the willpower to end this plateau
/u/glipglopsfromthe3rdD [5'1" | 109 | 21.51 | female]
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:16:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3jvb/feeling_so_scattered_right_now_dont_have_the/
---
Where do I start? I haven't stuck to my 1200 goal all this week, I binged so bad yesterday that I wanted to purge it all up, I still have half the ice cream that I brought (and the crackers, and chips, and cookies, and oh my god I need to get rid of this food.)

I am constantly switching back and forth between my goals and what I'm wiling to do to reach them. Do I want to lose more weight? Well, sometimes I really want to accept myself and end this focus on my weight. I mean, 15 pounds ago I thought I'd like myself if I lost 10 pounds and it seems that I'm just as insecure as ever. Meanwhile, the 1200 goal I used to be so fucking good at sticking to is like, completely impossible these days.

Then there's my food goals. Okay, so I decide I'll let myself have my 1200, and I won't give in to the urge to fast.... but then I go over my goal and decide "fuck it, binge time." So I go waaaaay over, and the next day I decide "I'm going to fast." But soon enough, I change my mind, decide to allow myself 1200, go over the goal..... the cycle repeats itself.

I dislike excessive negative self-talk, but goddamn I hate myself so much. Last night I binged on Taco Bell before I finished my binge with crackers, ice cream, and those oreo thins (4 of them is 130 calories which is cool unless you eat like 400 of them like I did.) Worst part is the Taco Bell was moving so slowly I sat in line for like 45 minutes in my car, just thinking "You can turn around at any point and end this," but I didn't.....

If you skipped all that garbage I have a few questions: DAE constantly switch between wanting to accept yourself at your current weight and wanting to lose more? Also, DAE struggle with not eating at night? I can fast all day long but once it's dark it's like a switch has flipped... I googled "night eating syndrome" and I'm terribly worried that I show signs of it....

Ugh whatever sorry this is so.... scattered and stupid. But who the fuck else could I talk to about all this?

Also congrats glipglops, you were so fucking close to your mini-goal of 105 and you've landed yourself back at 109......

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[Rant/Rave] My friend is trying to save me with fat logic
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:11:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3j1k/my_friend_is_trying_to_save_me_with_fat_logic/
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I was complaining about peanut butter being so high calorie and she says, "its not calories that make you fat, its sodium and sugars and stuff" and I told her that youre not gonna lose weight on 3000 calories a day. And she said "you can if you do daily workouts and stuff" (imagine?) and "you dont need to worry about calories if you have a healthy diet." So i say, "youll lose weight on 200 calories of chocolate just like youll gain it on 3000 calories of carrots." To which she replies, "Carrots and chocolate both have nutritional value tho."

What? What does that even mean? Then she sent me a long "you have an ed blah blah blah" text. Like, thanks for the concern, but you dont even know what youre talking about.

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[Help] Living with normal people
/u/Echolaura [5'11"| 142.6| 19.25| -22| F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:08:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3if6/living_with_normal_people/
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Living with normal people is so hard. I just moved to a new city and am crashing with my brother for a bit and he's always been very thin. I was the fat one growing up and my dad always joked about him being an extra in a holocaust movie (super mean but dad can be pretty thoughtless.)

Being with him is a great motivation to keep losing since I HATED being thicker than him (and he's 6'3"!!) but now I'm seeing how he's always been thin. He doesn't have any compulsion to eat! When I got here, all he had for food was pizza and brownies and bags of candy. **Seriously.** He just has one piece of candy and goes along on his day while I'm sitting here deeply regretting binging on them last night AND still holding myself back from binging again!

I dream of the day when I'll be free of this addiction. When I can have bad foods in the house without constantly thinking about them. The willpower to have one oreo and move on.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I don't want to be the fatso roommate constantly holding myself back from stealing food :(

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:02:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3hc6/daily_food_diary_july_22_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Other] This is what disordered eating thoughts look like. (Second image goes first, sorry it uploaded all weird >.<)
/u/Hiyoheyyo
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:59:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u35v3/this_is_what_disordered_eating_thoughts_look_like/
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http://imgur.com/a/P3i6g

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[Thinspo] Fashion illustration is my favorite kind of thinspo.
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:56:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u35eu/fashion_illustration_is_my_favorite_kind_of/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/cf9f969e07b349c8b1923534986beb46?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d439755485647ccb25af724b4358ee0c

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[Help] Can someone please help ease my worry?
/u/BerenicesTeeth [5'10" | 125 | 17.49 | F | message me ur good kpop music]
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:55:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u35as/can_someone_please_help_ease_my_worry/
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This is undoubtedly super illogical, but I'm not in a good mindset at the moment...

I am up one pound from yesterday and I have no idea why. I had maybe 300cal; at 8:30pm, I ate out with my boyfriend, and I had broccoli, carrots, and shrimp cooked in a soy sauce base. The 300cal is surely an overestimation. I also made sure to stay hydrated throughout the day.

Naturally, I weighed myself this morning and absolutely freaked out, so I binged on some ice cream, as it is the easiest thing to purge. I also had a BM. I purged all of it-- I'm sure I did-- and my weight stayed the same. Why on *earth* am I up a pound? Could it be the sodium in the soy sauce base? I don't eat hardly any of the very thin sauce it comes in, so I just don't understand. Help?

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[Goal] hell week: I'm gonna make it
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:39:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u32ep/hell_week_im_gonna_make_it/
---
Okay, so. This Sunday-Saturday was supposed to be my hardcore fall-apart week. My family was going to go away on vacation and leave me home so I could keep working.

Unfortunately, plans have changed, and I'm not trusted to be alone for that period of time. It's go with them or get out, and I can't swing that financially right now. I'm back on monitored meals all the time, and I'm really hoping to just maintain this coming week. I'm expecting some food/water retention and bloating, so I'm going to take some proactive steps.

Being under a watchful eye this whole week might be good for me. I won't be able to b/p, or even purge, most likely. I can normalize my eating and hydration, and I know I'll be active (lots of walking, biking, and swimming!).

Goals for this week:
* 2L water every day
* eat my BMR or below
* no purging!
* bike, swim, or walk for at least an hour a day
* smoke less (over a pack a day omg this needs to stop)
* get a tan (because why not?)

I'm not going to see this as enforced strictures; I'm going to see it as an opportunity to somewhat normalize my food and eating, especially with regards to purging and my b/p habits, and hopefully regain some of my family's trust. I know that if I play along when I go, I'll hopefully have more freedom in the coming weeks.

Cheers to a new week, and (hopefully) to some marginally healthier weight loss!

---

[Tip] Pumpkin pie oatmeal
/u/icantstopmeloning [5'5" | ~100lbs | 17.1 | ~-40 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:13:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2y22/pumpkin_pie_oatmeal/
---
Just thought of this one last night so I made it this morning and it was SO TASTY and only like 135 calories.

Instant oatmeal (quaker oats - plain, 100cal)
1/3 pumpkin puree (30 cal)
Stevia (0 cal)
Cinnamon (sprinkle)
Nutmeg (sprinkle)

The pumpkin puree really beefs up your oatmeal, giving you a bigger quantity for few added calories. Seriously tastes so good - going to enjoy this one this autumn. Tasted like pumpkin pie - and the puree is surprisingly yummy on its own. You could add nuts or almonds for protein... Or pumpkin seeds :D

Also, making the oatmeal with unsweetened almond milk instead of water would probably make it even creamier, and even better! Something to definitely try!

Hope some of you try this out and enjoy it as much as I did. Delish!

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[Tip] Brownies for 45cal? I'm hoping these are real :3 And does anyone know if this site ships to the states?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 22 07:50:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2u96/brownies_for_45cal_im_hoping_these_are_real_3_and/
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http://www.thelowcarbgrocery.com/catalog/thinslim-ready-to-eat-squares-g-362.html?prod_id=5387

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[Rant/Rave] I think I'm going back to swimming on Monday
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Fri Jul 22 07:35:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2rz4/i_think_im_going_back_to_swimming_on_monday/
---
So, I've swum my whole entire life. Twice a week for the last 5 or so years. I was never top-level good, but I went ok. And then I got into yr 12 and it fucked me up tbh, and I would come home and cry at the thought of swimming bc I was so exhausted and I just couldn't make my head get excited about it and it was making me hate something that I had loved for years, so I quit. This was over a year ago now, and I have pretty much been sedentary since. I had/ have pretty much become everything I hate: Hideously unfit, and I don't feel like my body can do the things I want it to anymore. But even feeling like that, The thought of swimming again filled me with dread bc I connected it to that shitty part of my life still, even though it was over.

But for the past couple of months, I've been coming around to the idea of going back. Yeah, I know that I won't be able to swim nearly as well as I used to, but that will come with time and commitment again. I've been having dreams about being back in the pool, and I really freaking miss it. So this Monday I think I'm getting back into it! Yeah, I'll suck, and yeah, I may not be able to haul myself out of the pool at the end with these weak-ass arms and yeah, I'll probably be upset that I am going to be at a level of endurance that is more suited to a toddler, but better now than in another 6 months right??

Anyway, this was really long and winded, but I think this will be good for me? Ty for listening xx

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[Rant/Rave] How do you all make it through the day?
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 07:00:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2mqj/how_do_you_all_make_it_through_the_day/
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Hey everyone. This might be a bit of a ranty post, I'm sorry :(

I was just wondering how everyone makes it through the day while working/going to school/caring for kids/etc while restricting? It's 7:45 am here, I've been at work an hour and I need to stay til almost 6 tonight (my Fridays suck). Plus I have two hours of commute every day. I'm consistently exhausted and often fall asleep while driving to and from work, and when I get home I have no energy for anything so my place is a mess and my cats are mad at me because I'm a horrible cat mom. I want to not eat, I want to go to the gym and go for walks, but I feel like my ED is a second full time job. I don't have time for life anymore, I really want to quit my job so I can just take care of myself but I know that's not possible. Obviously I'm a bit distracted at work since I'm posting on here. Side rant, my boyfriend and I are having a difficult time because I've been so emotional lately (thanks hormones), so that may be part of why I'm feeling so down.


I really just want to cry and disappear. And suggestions for feeling overwhelmed with the intersection of life and worsening ED and depression? Anything to keep me from having a mental breakdown and quitting my job.

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[Rant/Rave] Unexpected fasts are best fasts :)
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Fri Jul 22 06:46:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2krl/unexpected_fasts_are_best_fasts/
---
I made myself one of my favorite high-cal day meals today for breakfast, which is a whole wheat thin pita (100cal), 5 oz light tuna (50cal), half cup corn (60cal), and two tbps mayo (180cal).

However, instead of light tuna, I put in salmon. It tasted horrible and smelled so bad that all of the excitement of eating my favorite meal completely disappeared. I wasn't hungry for the rest of the day and even the idea of food turned me off as soon as I thought about the nasty salmon smell. I just had water, some incredible oolong tea, and peach tea popsicles (for those that have never tried it, peach tea Mio flavored water makes some amazing 0-cal popsicles). My stomach is so empty :) I feel great. Thank you bad-smelling salmon!!!

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[Discussion] My mood 100% revolves around my weight.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 22 06:39:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2juk/my_mood_100_revolves_around_my_weight/
---
So, after my Sunday-Tuesday binge cycle, I ballooned from 108-112 pounds. During this time, it was sweat pants, messy bun, and no makeup for me. Even for my work.. and I'm in an office lol

Sooo, I weigh myself this morning after two fast days, and back to 108. Guess who does their hair and makeup, and dresses up?

It's just weird, because it's not like anyone else can tell the 3ish pound difference. I know that, logically.

But it just makes me feel like such shit when I'm not where I expect I need to be, that I can barely function.

Anybody else have similar feelings?

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[Goal] Accomplishment of the week
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 06:15:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2gmx/accomplishment_of_the_week/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! July 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 22 06:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2f4u/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_july_22_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for July 22, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Thinspo] K-Pop is best thinspo - 4Minute
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 05:07:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u28nh/kpop_is_best_thinspo_4minute/
---
http://imgur.com/a/2exIm

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[Rant/Rave] Okay, fuck. I relent, I'm going to have to get a control on my planned Sunday night binges. NOOOOO!
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 22 04:29:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u24th/okay_fuck_i_relent_im_going_to_have_to_get_a/
---
Sorry, huge rant :'(

It worked an absolute treat when my TDEE was higher, especially when I didn't go to the gym and so could fast/restrict more during the week. I felt I had found the greatest trick ever - and heck, it really did work and the weight dropped off, so I guess I had.. for back then.

But no more. My TDEE is too low, I can't restrict enough during the week to cover it anymore.

Had my official monthly weigh in at the gym today. My PT is very pleased, as I have put on 3lbs in the past month (now officially weighing 92.3lbs according to him), and according to the machine, 1.7lbs of that is muscle... so 1.3 is fat. Apparently while the machine might not give accurate body fat and muscle weight percentages, the *changes* you see over time when you use the same machine are accurate. So yeah.

He said that 1.7lbs of muscle in a month for a female is really good, although he reminded me I'm still quite unconditioned and started off weedy, so my muscle growth is still accelerated for now - he 'warned' me any muscle growth will gradually go down to 1lb per month at most from here on in. He said the 1.3lbs of fat is good for me too, as he reckons more fat will make me healthier and you can't build muscle without putting on a little fat anyway. He said my smaller waist measurement shows it's going on 'in the right places' too. He said my rate of weight gain is very good, moderate and not extreme, and I'm on the right track completely. Big pat on the back for me. Yep, he was happy.. **HE** was.

Of course, you can guess how **I** feel about that.. I'm happy about the muscle if I have to be, but absolutely not the fat. I don't care about 'right places' or 'healthier' or any of that crap, lets be honest. Honestly didn't think my binges were that huge. Now, I *could* put my higher weight down to the fact I ate a bunch of jello (bloats me right up) and lettuce with salt yesterday (water weight) and tell myself the numbers are a little skewed as a result.. that maybe I've put on less fat if I really want to try and feel better.. but the fact that it's been a month showing 3lbs gain, I obviously havn't LOST.

**So, here is the plan.**

Sunday night binges are no more... but I can't get rid of my routine completely. It is now a Sunday night cheat meal - i.e keep the cals lower. I will make the absolute most of it by making myself my favourite ever sandwich. I will have a nice, moderate portion of high quality chocolate, keep my chocolate brownie too. I will have a pack of low-cal popcorn or crisps. 1 more SMALL savoury like a veggie sausage roll if I need. Still high cal, but a lot better than what I was doing. I will bulk the whole thing out with my favourite veg - broccoli - like a WHOLE DAMN PLATE, maybe stir fry some mushrooms, and stuff my face with that before eating the nice things to fill me up. If I need too, finish off with some frozen Fage flavoured with low cal hot chocolate to really fill my tummy.

I am sorta confident with this plan. My binges were naturally getting smaller anyway.. they were just still too large obviously, and all very high cal foods. Sticking some low cal foods that I enjoy in there will help.

I will also go for a run Sunday afternoons after the gym, OR spend a couple of hours playing Pokemon GO (it's working now! I just need to get data!). I will watch my intake more earlier on on Sundays in general. I will restrict more during the week to create a bigger deficit.

I have a little over a month to lose just over 4lbs. Would be easy without the Sunday thing, but I can't totally get rid of it.. still, if I am more careful, I SHOULD be able to do it.

Wish me luck guys. I need to be 88lbs by September 1st.

... I can do this... right...?

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[Rant/Rave] What a mess, man...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 04:11:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u233j/what_a_mess_man/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] A good tea for curbing appetite
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 01:14:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u1lkq/a_good_tea_for_curbing_appetite/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] tfw out of calories for the day and have to only drink bouillon
/u/bacongains [🐋🐷]
Created: Fri Jul 22 01:07:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u1kv6/tfw_out_of_calories_for_the_day_and_have_to_only/
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http://imgur.com/a/9yo8m

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[Other] It hurts, it's too real XD
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 00:56:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u1jsb/it_hurts_its_too_real_xd/
---
https://m.imgur.com/a/K20O9

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[Rant/Rave] I feel disgusting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 22 00:03:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u1dxr/i_feel_disgusting/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Feeling heart palpitations but have a normal pulse?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 21 23:29:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u19y2/feeling_heart_palpitations_but_have_a_normal_pulse/
---
[deleted]

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Question for those those purge
/u/JustATabbyCat
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:52:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u15mz/question_for_those_those_purge/
---
[removed]

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[Goal] Not even 8am and I've already reached my daily goal :)
/u/commtra [5'7 | GW:110 | -11 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:51:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u15f8/not_even_8am_and_ive_already_reached_my_daily_goal/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/b3f828988e5d4de783ddb33c2ee4998e?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=924e302f8085279d9695c425039773c9

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[Rant/Rave] Is this what normal feels like? Also, soylent?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:44:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u14oa/is_this_what_normal_feels_like_also_soylent/
---
For the past week and a half I've had to flip my schedule completely on its head since I'm doing remote night observations at a telescope for my thesis, which meant having to be up 12 am to 8 am every day. Of course, I ate like shit for the first few days because any change, especially to sleep (of which I got like none), absolutely destroys any modicum of self-control I possess.

But lately, I haven't been as hungry. Yesterday I fasted for 24 hours (dinner to dinner) without even trying. And when I was, I ate dinner and that was it. No uncontrollable binge after.

Still, I brought a European version of soylent and I plan on having 600 calories from that until I run out (I have over a months worth). If I ever have a day over 600 it'll be from eating with friends. Once I get to my UGW, I'll start easing into maintaining.

I hate that I had to eat like a pig for this to happen, but it feels so much better to not be thinking about food 24/7 and having to constantly fight any urge to eat. I may not feel as physically light, but it's such a huge weight off my mind to not have these thoughts right now.

Please god let me finally be normal.

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[Rant/Rave] Kinda drunk and realized I have kind of a cute butt
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:12:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u10tz/kinda_drunk_and_realized_i_have_kind_of_a_cute/
---
Ok so flair later, mobile, I'm kinda drunk at a bar with my boyfriend and I had 1000 cals today and I just went to pee and looked in the mirror (I look skinnier than j thought tonight) and I turned around then realized my butt is kinda cute and I just wanted to share because it made me happy and yeah I've never liked my butt that much before and tomeodow I will probably look at this and be lik, "wow did I really post that" and yes I am posting this and yes I think maybe my butt is kind of cute. Thanks for reading my proED pals I FACKING LOVE U GUYS!!!!!! Happy thurs ❤️❤️❤️😇😇😇

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[Rant/Rave] I got to change my flair today. And I'm going to a music festival this weekend. Things are finally looking up.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:05:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u100v/i_got_to_change_my_flair_today_and_im_going_to_a/
---
I finally got to move my flair from 125 to 120. I'm back at my safe weight. And I'm super pumped. Aside from ED, I'm going to a music festival of AMAZING vibes, art, nature, dubstep, jam bands, camping, tripping, etc. etc.

ED upfront, I'm def gonna come home a couple pounds lighter. :):):) So much movement, dancing, low-appetite drugs, and high-nutrient/high-protein foods. And a ton of water. YESSSSS. If this scale read anything below 120 on Monday i'll be fucking thrilled.

Enjoy your weekends, good luck, and be nice to yourself, shit can turn around.

<3

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I'm new here...:) hey everyone! just discovered reddit then this sub, you all seem so nice. i'm an elite-ish distance runner, 5'9 and 125lbs. this is me in the picture. i'm so excited to join this community xxx
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Thu Jul 21 20:41:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0okk/im_new_here_hey_everyone_just_discovered_reddit/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/c7e73b4194514d9aba51f9ca5c7c34ba?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=29d29587f79624e96d8cd46fcc3ee91e

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[Help] EC Stack and smell???
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 21 20:32:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0n2r/ec_stack_and_smell/
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So my boyfriend is what you might call a super taster, or super smeller. He has a crazy sensitive nose (he went to culinary school, and is in the wine industry, so it's kind of a job requirement). I have been EC stacking with Bronkaid, and he says that I have a weird smell to me now, and that my breath is especially bad for about 72 hours after I've taken the Bronkaid. Does anyone else notice a strange/bad smell on their skin or breath when taking Bronkaid???

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i'm new here...:)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 21 20:30:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0mum/im_new_here/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Poop talk :-( TMI warning
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:44:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0g2f/poop_talk_tmi_warning/
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So how often do you guys poop?

This is a weird question, sorry lol

Ive always had issues pooping, even when I was a baby (so says my mother). And... well for the past few months, I have been using laxatives like once every week or two. It's gotten to the point the only time I poop is when I take the laxatives... which means a whole week without pooping usually (unless I double up one week and go for two rounds of lax). I have tried taking fiber, drinking water, everything to get my insides functioning.

I just feel really bloated and icky with all this shit inside me (literally) but I really want to have one natural bowel movement before I take laxatives again.

Is it normal to go a week without pooping when you're heavily restricting? Or is it just me? Have I already messed myself up with these laxatives? Blargh!

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[Discussion] Do you ever just look at your actions and take in how bad they are?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:17:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0c26/do_you_ever_just_look_at_your_actions_and_take_in/
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I just ate a box of 20 Timbits (that I bought to give to my little brothers) in bed while Googling the baking soda and water purge method.

I was about 5 Timbits from the end when I just went "What the fuck am I doing?"

I've never been a purge-er, maybe some exercise purging, but I feel better about that.

I then ate another Timbit, and went and got some baking soda. So clearly the moment of clarity wasn't really all that helpful.

I didn't end up doing it. I don't want to start purging.

But God, I've never really looked at the way I'm acting and truly realized how fucked I am.

I see that it's probably a good thing that I really think about what I'm doing, but it doesn't stop the awful, awful feeling about my appearance.

So I'm going to go run, run until I feel I've made a decent deficit.

That's a little better than purging.

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[Discussion] Booze Binges
/u/oksneaky [63in | CW: 125.8| -13.2 | GW:UNDER 120 BY 9/15 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:14:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0bn6/booze_binges/
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I know this is a common theme on here with us, but I absolutely love seeing that I have some extra calories at the end of the week to have a booze binge and not feel too horrible about it. And, I usually get drunk just a little easier cause I'm light on food!

Funny to me: Earlier I scanned my bottle of cheap wine to log how many ml I had poured into the glass and it went ahead and calculated the whole bottle calories into MFP. Back in the day (and probably tonight) I had to use full bottle measures because that's all I did was drink entire bottles each night, it made me laugh.

Everyone's fav drink? I'm a vodka water girl but damn do I love wine drunk! SO many cals but sometimes it's just the mood I'm in.

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[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Trying to fast
/u/TheMostUniqueUsrnm
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:14:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0bmu/rantrave_trying_to_fast/
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Trying to fast and my mum gets home and makes us beef stroganoff, damn do I love me some beef stroganoff. So, like the controless piggy I am, I ate that stupid beef stroganoff. Rawr, and tomorrow was supposed to be double double day too. So I'll be attempting the fast again tomorrow, I'll have to heavily restrict on saturday because now my mum isn't working on sunday, and I'll have to heavily restrict again on monday to pay back the calories I'll no doubt be eating. And she might possibly have the day off on tuesday which means another high calorie supper wich I doubt I'll be able to resist.

Edit: wording

TL;DR attempted a fast so that I could have a double double, failed b/c beef stroganoff, and now i have to wait at least five days before I can have it. Damn you stomach.

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[Tip] PRO TIP: Stop snacking, so says "My 600 pound life"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:06:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0ai5/pro_tip_stop_snacking_so_says_my_600_pound_life/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I am not going to binge
/u/rad_dads [5'9" | 152 | 22.0 | F | GW: 125]
Created: Thu Jul 21 18:06:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u01f5/i_am_not_going_to_binge/
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Mostly posing this just so I hold myself too it. Was doing ok today and then stopped at the grocery to get some melatonin and managed to walk out with red velvet Oreos and a box of pop tarts. Already had 3 Oreos and feel super shitty about it so I'm trying to prevent myself from eating more and thinking about the $7 I just wasted.

Just gotta make it home and sit down with some tea, some carrots, and some thinspo and I should be fine.

Anyways hope you guys are having a fantastic day!

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[Discussion] Let's talk working out!
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Thu Jul 21 18:05:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u01bl/lets_talk_working_out/
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So what are ya'll's workout routines and how are you liking it?

For me personally, I walk 15K steps a day, do 200 squats 5 days out of the week, and now I've added 100 sit ups as well. I like it; it's hard but I feel it's worth it for my mental health.

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[Rant/Rave] post lactation hunger, get the fuck outta here.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 17:16:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tztqq/post_lactation_hunger_get_the_fuck_outta_here/
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Guys I figured it out; the binging, the insatiable hunger, and the inability to stop. After doing some research it turns out that babyman's weaning has sent my blood sugar and hunger hormones into a tailspin.

On one hand, ok so I'm not a complete fuck up, but on the other hand the pressure I've put on myself to combat this is insane.

I'm fighting against evolutionary biology and this is so fucking hard.

I gotta do this, I have to do this, white knuckle will power must carry me on. I WILL NOT REGAIN THE WEIGHT.

on mobile, will flair when I can.

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[Thinspo] My thinspo: Allll the thigh gaps, some abs and before/afters
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 17:16:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tztmn/my_thinspo_allll_the_thigh_gaps_some_abs_and/
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http://imgur.com/a/N8XHr

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[Discussion] Feeling stressed at work
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 116.0 | 21.2 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 16:56:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzqgi/feeling_stressed_at_work/
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A girl at my work has an eating disorder and speaks to me about it a lot. I've had mine under control for a while, but hearing her talk about it is stressing me out. She doesn't know I have one I don't think. I don't want to talk to her about it but at the same time I do because its making me eat less (which I know is just my ED acting up and enjoying the fact that its taking control again). I'm not really looking for solutions - because the solution really would be telling her I didn't want to talk about it - I just wanted to share because it's stressing me out :/

Does anyone else get super triggered by people talking about their EDs? Or do you find it therapeutic to relate to someone?

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[Rant/Rave] Best irl thinspiration
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 16:38:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzno0/best_irl_thinspiration/
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So I was craving sugar, and I headed up to my work's bakery to buy a doughnut. There was this super thin guy in front of me who was trying to buy a coffee. The barista kept, for whatever reason, trying to convince him to buy a doughnut, telling him that he should eat more, that he needed the food, blahblahblah. I felt a bad for the guy, she was being so pushy about it (she was laughing/joking around, but still). So he finally told her that "food is for the weak", then turned around, looked at me, and said, "See? She agrees with me."

?????? What the fuck? My eyes widened and I had no idea what to say, but after that display of willpower I just got a coffee. Damn, random guy, thanks for the motivation.

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[Rant/Rave] Hit proper ham status. I feels strange feels (antifeels?)
/u/whiimsii
Created: Thu Jul 21 16:21:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzkya/hit_proper_ham_status_i_feels_strange_feels/
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Last week I officially reached my *highest*, most disgusting and vile weight ever. Even though it was definitely partly due to food weight and bloat thanks to ceaseless binging, it was still a number I would've never imagined could possibly show up on my scale because surely I would never ever let myself become so unbelievably fat.

Except it did. And I did. And surprisingly, I just felt... nothing? I certainly didn't feel bad, I think. It was almost satisfying. Like watching a particularly disgusting eating show or something. Like when you've picked so much at your skin that you've turned yourself into a swollen bleeding mess. Ah idk it's hard to explain.


I think I have some weird two way body dysmorphia that just makes me feel like I look the same at every weight. Not sure if anyone relates but I've been looking at myself in the mirror for the past 30kg or so and have been seeing the same bloody person. When I was at a healthy weight I felt just as fat as I feel as over weight. Now that I'm a ham planet, it's just... Whatever?


IDK maybe I'm disappointed I guess?? I've been hit with some pretty sweet motivation though. Not the fist-pump-fuck-yea-im-gonna-win-so-hard-at-this-shit-gimme-all-ur-motivational-quotez kind but a more apathy driven sort if that makes sense? The kind of motivation-like feeling which can only arise when you've entirely given up on putting effort into fixing your shit and just go with the flow while staring blankly into the distance. Like... I'm so anhedonic I can't even be bothered to be self-destructive right now because hurting myself doesn't feel good anymore when you don't feel anything. But since I'm not being self-destructive I'm making progress, by default. It's really difficult to explain this state of mind, if you've experienced it you know how I feel.

I've dropped 2kg since last week because I've been eating so light (can't be bothered to binge or even think about food, that shit's too much) and walking 20k steps everyday just from roaming around like an idiot (not without the obligatory blank stare into the distance ofc). Should be thrilled but feel nothing tbqh. Nice, eh?


TL;DR: I'm a fat and gross ball of nothing I guess

Edit- remove weird extra words

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[Rant/Rave] Being the fattest today and eating Olive Garden
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 21 15:33:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzd18/being_the_fattest_today_and_eating_olive_garden/
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Just ordered the most food I've thought about in forever (on mobile, will flair at home). I'm with the bf so idk if I'll be able to purge. But I've pretty much fasted and walked all day so I shouldn't feel too awful.

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[Discussion] What is the deal with purging?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 15:17:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzab0/what_is_the_deal_with_purging/
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Slightly misleading title.


Do you lose all the calories? Some? Not many? None at all?


Seems like every source online says something different and I want someone with experience points. I have definitely had bulimia in my life, but I use it more as a crutch rather than my main source of weight loss. After purging yesterday I was desperate to know how many calories I retained and wasn't able to get an answer.


I'm looking for an answer from someone who is mainly bulimic to confirm or deny weight loss from it, but as always, anyone is welcome to chime in.


Thanks :)

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[Discussion] Skinny Syrups (like Walden Farms)
/u/fxuk [5'3 | CW: 78 lbs | GW: 75 lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:54:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tz6b0/skinny_syrups_like_walden_farms/
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Hi, I just discovered Skinny Syrups on Instagram. They have things for coffee, tea, desserts etc. Zero calories (like walden farms I'm sure there's like 40 per bottle but still) zero sugar, gluten free and kosher. Has anyone heard of them/tried them? (:

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[Discussion] Trying a weird diet...
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:33:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tz2pj/trying_a_weird_diet/
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So, I'm really obsessive about calorie counting, and when I cook or prepare a meal, I freak out as ingredients add up and get really anxious. I have to count too many things and I become too stressed out, I just freak out. It usually leads to a binge because I think, "I don't know what ice eaten, I failed, let me just eat it all and start over tomorrow."

Well, I've been seeing a TON of nutrisystem commercials lately and thought it sounded great to have somebody do all the counting for me. I could breath and just have one number per meal. Only, it's too expensive. Like, super expensive. So, I had an idea! I'm going to make my OWN nutrisystem diet! I'm going to get lean cuisines, smart ones, and healthy choice meals, and then I will have only three meals a day.

I'm starting today and I'm going to do it for 4 weeks, or 28 days. I will see how much I lose in that time. I will weigh in on day one, and then on day 29, and I will see how successful it is! I'm excited because the food will be easy, yummy, and I will have minimal counting.

So, what do y'all think?

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[Tip] Protein! Eat it!
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:31:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tz273/protein_eat_it/
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[Click here](http://i.imgur.com/FeWimx9.jpg) for a cute infographic showing **vegan** protein sources (per 100g or per 1oz serving). The artist gave them little faces, it's adorable, but if that's not your thing I've also listed them below and also included (approximate) caloric info:

source | protein per 100g | calories per 100g | protein per 1oz | calories per 1oz
---|---:|----:|----:|----:
almonds | 21g | 578 | 6g | 164
cashews | 18g | 576 | 5g | 157
chia seeds | 16g | 490 | 4g | 139
chickpeas | 9g | 119 | 3g | 34
flax seeds | 18g | 534 | 5g | 151
hazelnut | 15g | 632 | 4g | 178
lentils | 9g | 353 | 3g | 100
lima beans | 8g | 130 | 2g | 32
macadamia nuts | 8g | 718 | 2g | 204
oats | 17g | 389 | 5g | 110
peanut butter | 23g | 588 | 6g | 167
peas | 5g | 81 | 1g | 23
pecans | 9g | 691 | 3g | 196
pistachios | 21g | 557 | 6g | 158
potato | 2g | 75 | 1g | 26
pumpkin seeds | 24g | 574 | 7g | 153
quinoa | 4g | 374 | 1g | 106
red beans | 9g | 127 | 3g | 96
soybeans | 17g | 147 | 5g | 23
spinach | 3g | 23 | 1g | 7
tahini | 22g | 592 | 6g | 169
tofu | 15g | 85 | 4g | 18
walnut | 15g | 654 | 4g | 185
whole wheat bread | 11g | 246 | 3g | 73

Please note that this isn't 100% accurate, since the caloric values come from a variety of online sources and there's some discrepancy between how many calories are in different types (seriously, who knew there were so many different kinds of lima beans??) but it should give you a general comparison between each of the sources listed here.

[This](http://i.imgur.com/4vSKWik.png?8) chart compares **meat/fish, dairy/eggs and plant-based** protein sources and respective caloric content, protein value and portion size.

The author also created [this amazing Google spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PnUZ3NnjUxXRGoLcdMsV6fztsmon4AMSzYcnOCwlG2M/edit#gid=0) if you'd like a closer look at the data behind the chart. [*Source*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/2fa487/foods_ranked_by_protein_per_calorie/).

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[Help] 4 week plateau - exercise?
/u/agentcherrycola
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:28:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tz1ra/4_week_plateau_exercise/
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I've been stuck at 145 for aaaaages and seeing as I'm at home all the time now I think I need to increase my calorie burn rather than decrease intake because it's almost impossible to get below 900 when I'm not doing my own food. I have access to some home weights and a lot of space for walking/running. Luckily I'm busy enough at the moment to be distracted from the plateau but in a few days the anxiety will definitely kick in so I'm looking to start losing before that happens. My current fitness level is awful, so please keep this in mind. Anything that burns a lot in a short time period but is suitable for shit-level fitness coming to mind for anyone?
FYI: I'm 5'10, SW 169, and (as you can see) CW 145. UGW 125.

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[Intro] Thank you for being here ~
/u/BlackFlagWhiteSails [5'5" | 113.6 | 18.9 | F/23]
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:17:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyzug/thank_you_for_being_here/
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Hey all! I'd been in recovery for awhile but a couple months ago the stresses of my job and moving out and finishing school all sorta snuck up on me and my depression came back and yeah I'm here. I'm trying to do better this time, looking at my macros, not restricting so heavily.

Anyways, much love for everyone on their journey and thanks for being so supportive and open

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[Tip] Really bad day :/ also please give your tips to successfully restrict!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:14:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyzg3/really_bad_day_also_please_give_your_tips_to/
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[removed]

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[Other] Can't binge anymore?!
/u/LetMeDisappear
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:03:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyxdi/cant_binge_anymore/
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Today i was in a seriously terrible mood. I had a massive argument with my family and was doing the usual crying, moping and sulking routine in my room. This is usually the prime moment for me to go on a binge but when i tried to eat a croissant...it didn't work!? Like i felt weirdly "empty" from consuming the bite i had taken from it. It didn't give me a sense of satisfaction. It didn't give me anything. I threw away the rest of the croissant. This is kinda amazing but also weird! By now i would've been half way through a tub of ice cream or something but instead i just...don't want to binge! I don't have the same intense urge anymore!?

Btw i'm using a throwaway account. This is my first post on here so hello everyone! :)

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[Thinspo] More collarbone thinspo! My own :)
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:47:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyulq/more_collarbone_thinspo_my_own/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/a4965fe19c674f2bb0e2b3ab93fda911?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=8867330f1e0de1667b293929c5fb601b

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[Thinspo] Mini Thinspo Album
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:40:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tytbq/mini_thinspo_album/
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https://imgur.com/a/EK9vE

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[Thinspo] Some Forever 21 Thinspo
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:35:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyskc/some_forever_21_thinspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/NTrHI

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[Thinspo] Thursday thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:33:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tys2a/thursday_thinspo/
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http://i.imgur.com/WUwuKhP.jpg

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[Help] Couldn't purge all my binging...i feel like shit. Will i gain?
/u/waveals
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:07:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tynf6/couldnt_purge_all_my_bingingi_feel_like_shit_will/
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Okay so rarely do i ever binge-purge, its mainly just purging. But today i really wanted ice cream so i went out and bought ben and jerrys and a stick of cookie dough. I then proceeded to eat about 1/2 pf the icecream and 1/2 of the roll. I was able to purge the ice cream but the cookie dough didnt come up and the baked cookies didnt either. I feel like such a failure and so bloated rn. Will i end up gaining it?? Im chugging water rn and going to eat some fruit that i wont purge.

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[Rant/Rave] Bra shopping left me traumatized
/u/italkiesomuch [5'7 | CW 145 | GW 115 | -40lbs| Whale Noises]
Created: Thu Jul 21 12:25:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyftq/bra_shopping_left_me_traumatized/
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Guys, I am so pissed.

I've lost weight according to my plan, and was super happy because it was starting to show. Pants getting a little looser, etc.

But then I had to go bra shopping and I decided to get measured because I honestly haven't done that in years - last time I did was at my heaviest about 45 lbs ago and I was a 38C (I hate that number holy shit).

Anyways, I got measured and I went UP a size - I'm a 34D now. D! What the fuck! I wanted these fat sacks on my chest to virtually disappear and now they're bigger in circumference? What kind of bullshit is that even?!

Even worse was that the lady measuring me tried to find my size and said "I don't even know if we carry sizes beyond 36C..." Awesome, so now not only do I have bigger looking fat sacks, but I also will have to shop online for them from here on out if I want the same awesome bras I've been getting my whole life.

I haven't been this upset about the letter D since high school.

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[Discussion] 3 Days before shark week I'm RAVENOUS. Anyone else?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 21 12:15:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tye1v/3_days_before_shark_week_im_ravenous_anyone_else/
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So, about 3 days before the blood moon is upon us, I eat EVERYTHING. And crave things so hard that I will cry if I try to fight myself not to eat it. I had secret Chinese buffet b/p sessions Sunday and Monday (I lied to my SO about where I was going because I was so ashamed - not like he would care?) Tuesday, shark week has begun, and I'm fine. Not hungry, not feeling crazy, actually fasting today with pizza about 20 feet away.

Does anyone else deal with these extremes during your PMS stage?

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[Help] What do you do to get energy?
/u/OccasionalJerk
Created: Thu Jul 21 12:11:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyd56/what_do_you_do_to_get_energy/
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Anytime volleyball season comes around, I feel so worn out and tired, like I'm about to pass out during practice. Or if I just need to workout, it feels like I'm just too tired. What do you do to get enough energy to get through the day?

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[Discussion] I don't like working out
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Jul 21 11:38:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ty79p/i_dont_like_working_out/
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So I was reading about work outs that don't feel like working out.


Sex.


Oh, that's a good idea. If I do the work I'll excercise a bit.


But I hate my body.


I'm fat.


Who would want sex with me?


Shit.

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[Help] Day 2 of getting fit for dance:Boss brings pizza to the office.
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 11:35:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ty6rs/day_2_of_getting_fit_for_danceboss_brings_pizza/
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Guys, what do I do here. I woke up this morning and I was so hungry so I'm already trying to stave off a binge, and then my boss goes and brings in pizza for lunch today. And if I eat once slice you know it's gonna trigger a binge for the rest of the day. I don't know what to do here.

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[Discussion] Just curious - does anything happen if you only take ephedrine (without caffeine)
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 11:13:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ty2w4/just_curious_does_anything_happen_if_you_only/
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Sorry, on mobile - will flair later.

I'm just curious if the EC stack is still effective without caffeine? Sometimes I get bad jitters from caffeine (I've always been like this even before stacking) and just want the appetite suppression benefits. Is it worth just taking a bronkaid or primatene? Thanks!

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[Goal] I got a fitbit! I love it already!! Anyone wanna be friends?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Jul 21 10:57:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txzy0/i_got_a_fitbit_i_love_it_already_anyone_wanna_be/
---
Could be motivating ! Idk. Idk what I'm doing.

Except my band is a lg. It's huuge. Anyone know where I can get bands cheap? I know eBay is an option but I don't wanna wait 2 months to get.

---

[Rant/Rave] Binging Like I've Never Binged Before
/u/Shernibop
Created: Thu Jul 21 10:51:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txytb/binging_like_ive_never_binged_before/
---
Normally I'm guilty of binge eating like once or twice a month. For the rest of the time, it's pretty easy for me to restrict under 800 or fast for a few days no problem. Recently, however, I haven't been able to stop eating. I won't feel full no matter how much I eat. Sometimes what I'm eating won't even taste good but it doesn't matter I will continue to eat and I am terrified. I've lost control and I don't know what to do.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 21 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txps1/daily_food_diary_july_21_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Had a dream last night...
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 09:37:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txkup/had_a_dream_last_night/
---
Had a dream that I weighed myself and I was at my goal weight for this week. Woke up really excited to log it before realizing it was just a dream and I'm still fat and 2 pounds away from my weight goal for this week....

---

[Other] Mila Kunis claims she achieved her Black Swan body by consuming 1,200 calories a day. Yahoo journalist calls it "terrifying" *eye roll*
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 112 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 09:20:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txhou/mila_kunis_claims_she_achieved_her_black_swan/
---
https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/mila-kunis-describes-her-black-183225488.html

---

[Goal] Collar bones :)
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 08:59:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txdps/collar_bones/
---
https://imgur.com/a/zHdwF

---

[Rant/Rave] Fuck why am I so hungry today
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 21 08:32:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tx8yx/fuck_why_am_i_so_hungry_today/
---
Fuck this shit, supposed to be fasting, already had some sugar free jelly(/jello).

Fuck fuck fuck I already went over the last two days. Fuck.

---

[Other] Body dysmorphia
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 08:13:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tx5rz/body_dysmorphia/
---
I didn't realize that this could go the other way. When I think of body dysmorphia, I think of looking in the mirror and seeing a whale. But sometimes I'll look in the mirror and I'll see a frail little girl who could snap like a twig. I'm not even underweight...

---

[Other] Does anyone have an enabler? This is enough to make me not eat for weeks. :x
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:40:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tx0e1/does_anyone_have_an_enabler_this_is_enough_to/
---
http://imgur.com/OXweOAD

---

[Rant/Rave] I took a laxative and I'm in so much pain
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:31:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twz18/i_took_a_laxative_and_im_in_so_much_pain/
---
Do not take correctol. It's a "gentle" laxative for women, and I took the recommended dose of two pills since I haven't gone in five days. I took it like ten hours ago and I've had extreme, severe cramping for the past few hours. It's so bad. I can't fall asleep and I'm crying. I still can't go, and I feel like puking more than anything. I read reviews online (a little too late) and 14/21 report severe cramping. TWO THIRDS. Like half of that number had to be hospitalized due to dehydration and another half compared the cramps to labor pains?! Every time the cramps come on I scream and they last at least a minute, and come in bouts of two-three. My moms already mad at me for waking her up from yelling like I'm faking it. It's so painful.

---

[Help] Update on Germany trip (serious tmi)
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:24:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twy09/update_on_germany_trip_serious_tmi/
---
Thank you guys so much for all your advice!! But now I need help with something more physical....

I can't poop like at all. Ive tried yoga, I'm walking over a mile a day, I've tried upping fiber intake, and definitely hydrated... it's been like this for 4 1/2 days and I'm refusing to take laxatives bc I'm trying to quit the habit cold turkey. (I b/p for two weeks straight, everyday.)

I feel nauseated, light headed, my heart feels light, and I have awful gas but I can't pass it. It's getting to the point where I can't enjoy anything I feel so gross.

My last bm was 4-5 days ago from laxatives. How long does it usually take for y'alls bowel/digestive tract to shape up? Is this normal? Do I stick it out or use lax again? Aughhh

---

Looking for a fasting buddy
/u/hunterxgreen
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:24:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twxzz/looking_for_a_fasting_buddy/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] Swollen boobs. Awesome.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:08:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twvlr/swollen_boobs_awesome/
---
So, I'm passed my due date for my period (only by like two days) so my PMS symptoms are INTENSE.

My boobs are huge. And technically, to anyone else, they're considered "nice boobs". I just hate them because they're huge and muffin topping in my bras and ugh. It makes me feel fat. I want a flat, or ALMOST flat chest.

Plus my boobs probably weigh like 10 pounds right now.

Fml I hate tits.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support July 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 21 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twmie/weekly_emotional_support_july_21_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm pretty sure that if I actually have BED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 21 05:06:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twg13/im_pretty_sure_that_if_i_actually_have_bed/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Stretch marks... advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 21 04:34:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twcsy/stretch_marks_advice/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] cant purge
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Thu Jul 21 02:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tw2q8/cant_purge/
---
[removed]

---

[Discussion] Let's laugh at ourselves 2.0 (trigger warning!)
/u/skinny_pls [5'3" | 110 | 19.5 | -40 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 02:01:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tvxqq/lets_laugh_at_ourselves_20_trigger_warning/
---
So a while back, a user here (u/Hereismyusername2) made a thread where we'd take a step back from the serious and try to find humor in our lifestyle. As she mentioned, it can be hurtful/triggering but that's not my intention! Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. So I'll start out with new OC:

http://i.imgur.com/QDCgSD0.png

And here are some ones I commented on the last thread:

[when you're at the buffet but you're bulimic](http://i.imgur.com/NNrNGIJ.jpg)

[when the toilet water splashes in your eye](http://imgur.com/Uh4zkYl)

Let's see some more spicy memes or good jokes!

---

[Discussion] Anyone ever try tablespoon of mustard to throw up?
/u/missuhree
Created: Thu Jul 21 00:49:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tvq6f/anyone_ever_try_tablespoon_of_mustard_to_throw_up/
---
I just did and I'm wondering if it'll work. My stomach felt painfully full.

---

[Rant/Rave] the dichotomy of binge eating disorder
/u/AwwwwwSewerBunniis [5'1.5" | CW:124.6 | 22.8 | GW: 105| UGW: 98| f | -5.4lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 22:15:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tv7h1/the_dichotomy_of_binge_eating_disorder/
---
I want nothing more than for my husband to go to bed so I can eat, yet I'm grateful that he's awake, because I won't eat while he's watching

yay, BED.

edit: and I'm watching "stranger things," with one of my idols (winona ryder) still looking awesome, and this new girl, Natalia dyer, making me want to die. fuck. I love my son, but why the fuck did I ever have a baby and ruin my body this way?

---

[Rant/Rave] One of my bone markers "disappeared" (aka is now covered with fat). Need support from people who won't think I'm crazy.
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 21:31:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tv1oa/one_of_my_bone_markers_disappeared_aka_is_now/
---
Four or five days ago I noticed that a bone right next to my kneecap became visible and I was obviously really happy. It's gone now and there's a layer of squish over it. I'm terrified. I've been restricting pretty seriously except for this weekend I went to a diner on Friday and on Sunday ate but not more than my TDEE. I don't weigh myself regularly and I'm so depressed that seeing the scale go up might honestly drive me to hurt myself.


Is this BDD talking? I mean I get having a distorted image but how can it distort me not feeling my bone?? Or water weight on my fucking knee somehow?


I'm probably just going to fast for a few days because I'm really upset. I feel like such a disgusting failure. In the meantime any support would be appreciated. I'm caught between feeling so ugly and depressed that I just want to disappear forever and also realizing that it's just a fucking bone and I need to relax.

---

Seeking a support buddy who is similar in height/weight or BMI!
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 20:29:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tusj0/seeking_a_support_buddy_who_is_similar_in/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Does anybody else overestimate calories?
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Wed Jul 20 20:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tup73/rant_does_anybody_else_overestimate_calories/
---
I had a realistically small binge and I feel so so so bad about it AND I logged it as almost double the calories of what it was on MFP. I feel like if I overestimate , that it punishes me into not ever doing it again ;-; I feel like such a failure.Thursday and Friday are fast days. I'm stocking up on liquids too, I think that is what caused the binge ... dehydration. Sorry guys. Rant over. 😢

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm afraid I have nothing left.
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 20 19:17:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tuhv9/im_afraid_i_have_nothing_left/
---
My anorexia reached its peak when I was 15.. 7 years go. That's when everyone found out and I was hospitalized for medical complications and then I entered treatment. For years before then it had been my safety blanket, my little secret, my comfort.

Then, after a few years of recovery and relapse, at 18 I finally committed to recovery for real. I had a good run, entered a unique and very intense kind of therapy and really did make a lot of progress. The underlying reasons why I developed an ED are not an issue anymore.

Lately, there has been so much change in my life I've felt the pull towards my ED just to feel some control. But the more I dive back in, engage in behaviours, (embarrassingly) look at thinspo, the more I realize I don't necessarily want to completely relapse. I don't think I want to look worryingly thin, I don't want to become too underweight.

I'm in this weird waste land between recovery and full blown relapse. If I don't have my ED, and I don't have recovery, then what do I have? Am I left with nothing? I don't get the same comfort from my behaviours that I used to. But I also get no comfort from recovery. So what now?

I feel very lost, and very alone. Can I learn to accept this limbo land and be comfortable in it? Is it really possible to find a balance between the behaviours and a normal, somewhat healthy life?

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm a littlelot drunk...
/u/AwwwwwSewerBunniis [5'1.5" | CW:124.6 | 22.8 | GW: 105| UGW: 98| f | -5.4lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 19:10:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tugsb/im_a_littlelot_drunk/
---
...and I just responded to a post that made me think of just how frustrating it is to be a stay at home mom with disordered eating habits. I did my ec stack today, and only ate the leftovers of my son's dinner, but I still feel like the fattest thing on the planet.

god, life was so much easier when I could not eat for three days without anybody noticing, and not having to cook at all, and therefore not being tempted to eat.

I hate being old and still feeling this way.

---

[Rant/Rave] Success!!!
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:55:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tuemg/success/
---
Successfully avoided food all day!!! Had a bunch of iced coffee, and a 1.5L bottle of wine, but ingested nothing solid today, and feeling heavenly!!!!!!

---

[Discussion] Disinterest in food all together. Anyone else?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:55:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tuelh/disinterest_in_food_all_together_anyone_else/
---
Having an ED is so complicated, you KNOW you need to eat to live and function but at the same time you know you can't eat because then you risk gaining.

My mind has me pretty much turned off to food at this point. Like can I eat yeah? But the thought of it makes me want to vomit actually. I can only handle eating small amounts of food at a time or I just get sick. It's crazy.

Anyone else feel like this sometimes?

---

[Help] Vicoprofen as an appetite suppressant?
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:51:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tudwk/vicoprofen_as_an_appetite_suppressant/
---
Hey guys!

So I had those two wisdom teeth removed yesterday (they were 1.5 grams lol).

They gave me 18 7.5/200 vicoprofen tablets. Yesterday I took 5 and they worked well for the pain but made me nauseous. I still managed to end the day at 577c because I shared half a tub of ice cream with my husband.

Today I took 3 more, more for fun than for pain. I only use natural drugs and was curious as to how these affect me.

Bottom line is I haven't been hungry all day. I keep falling asleep and I've been a little nauseous but I have no desire for food. I ate a little taco salad before I took them and a little ice cream after. I'm at 400c but I'm not hungry and I feel like I should be.

Is this what an ec stack feels like? Has anyone else had this experience?

---

[Goal] Hit my actual step goal for the first time in WEEEKKKSSS. Hopefully I loose a pound when I wake up tmrw
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:49:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tudm3/hit_my_actual_step_goal_for_the_first_time_in/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/fed9aa579b16435aa0ec7d02ffdc4743?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=55f024bfed3ee37bc0eed1487bc390e1

---

[Other] I went to a youth group today
/u/smallsmallersmallest [168cm | CW 52.5kg GW 47kg | 18.66 | -8.5kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:47:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tudcp/i_went_to_a_youth_group_today/
---
It was one that's run weekly by an eating disorder charity. This week's topic was 'journey to recovery', two of the girls there, who consider themselves recovered and almost recovered, talked about how they got to the point that they're at now. I enjoyed going to be honest, everyone there was so lovely, and it's nice to be in a room with a group of people my age who can sympathise with something that most people can't. However they're very much focused on recovery, of course, and I'm not ready for that.. I went because the three people who know about all of this encouraged me to, so I agreed to go to one and see how it goes and I think I actually will go next week too. I kinda feel like a phoney though, it seems that everyone there wants to be there so that they can recover and I'm just really not ready, so I feel like if I go there with my weight dropping week by week they're gonna wonder why I even bother going if I'm not 'trying' as it were. I don't know, I could be overthinking this. Either way, I would like to see the people I met today again, I really did like them and once I'd got over the nerves of being in a room full of strangers, it was an enjoyable evening, and to hear about the other side of eating disorders from people who have lived it gives me something to think about. Maybe being in that environment will convince me to try recovery. Though I highly doubt it, the thought of letting go of my eating disorder panics me, it's become like a safety blanket.

Sorry for the rambling, I'm not really sure what I hope to gain from posting this, I just need to talk about it I suppose.

Edit: for some reason I can't flair on mobile so I'll have to flair this post in the morning.

---

[Help] Treadmills and Calories Burned
/u/APairofScales [5'6" | CW:Too Much | BMI:Nope| Weight Lost:Too Little | Male]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:28:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tuadx/treadmills_and_calories_burned/
---
I'm sure we're all familiar with a feature you see on most gym treadmills these days, where you can punch in your weight and It'll give you an estimation of the calories you've burned during your workout. Its generally acknowledge these things overestimate, I'm just curious as to how much, especially on the LifeSystems machines.

Example: at the gym both this morning and evening I cranked up the incline to max and walked at 3MPH for 30 minutes each session. The machine said I burned about 350 calories in each of these sessions. I'm curious whether I managed anything even close to that.

---

[Intro] so thankful for you guys
/u/miniatureti [5'4 | CW 151 | GW 115| -6.5 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:26:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tua32/so_thankful_for_you_guys/
---
Hi! i just made a new account so i could officially post on here. I've lurked here for quite a while, and you guys are so supportive and sweet. I've never been diagnosed with anything but I've always had problems with food. recently i started restricting and fasting for days, and I've lost 6 pounds since Saturday!! I'm so excited. you guys are the best, I'm so happy to finally be brave enough to post here. even without posting i feel like i have a giant support group! :-)

---

[Rant/Rave] I know I already posted but I just needed to rant.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:24:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tu9tp/i_know_i_already_posted_but_i_just_needed_to_rant/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] 5 calories and probably the best diet drink I've ever had
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:09:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tu7ly/5_calories_and_probably_the_best_diet_drink_ive/
---
http://imgur.com/ppXAGZt

---

[Rant/Rave] Cold Sesame Noodles: A rant about why I can't stomach Chinese food.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 20 17:17:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttzhe/cold_sesame_noodles_a_rant_about_why_i_cant/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Binged then threw up. I don't know what's going on. I did not purge, I just got sick af
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 20 17:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tty3j/binged_then_threw_up_i_dont_know_whats_going_on_i/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] I need reassurance because I'm crazy
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Wed Jul 20 16:41:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tttjc/i_need_reassurance_because_im_crazy/
---
So if I eat at no more than 600 calories a day, there's no way I can gain weight right? Even if it's a dense food (ie bowl of cereal)? And any weight gain I do see is water retention right??

Ya'll I'm going mad

---

[Help] Sleeping when hungry
/u/setniessesed [5'11" | CW: 145.6 GW: 137? | 19.66 | -14lbs | 20/F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 15:43:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttjvn/sleeping_when_hungry/
---
When I'm in bed trying to sleep is one of the hardest times to avoid a binge after restricting, because I know that if I'm exhausted and can't sleep, eating will help me go to sleep pretty quickly. However obviously I need some other way to make myself go to sleep. Do you guys have any tips for falling asleep hungry? I already take melatonin, and can feel my body being more tired because of it but sometimes I just cannot fall asleep until like 4am or it starts to get light. I hate it. Any sleep tips greatly appreciated.

---

[Rant/Rave] A week of no hunger!
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Wed Jul 20 15:21:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttg28/a_week_of_no_hunger/
---
I just went through an entire week of not feeling hungry and it was great. My appetite is back now, which sucks, but I felt so light and happy this past week! Hope you're all having a good week too!

---

[Help] Will an EC stack show up on a drug test?
/u/thindreaming [5'8.5 | HW 170 | CW 153 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 15:14:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttezl/will_an_ec_stack_show_up_on_a_drug_test/
---
Hi everyone, I'm not really sure where else to ask this - this sub was the only place I could think of that I was comfortable.

For some shitty reasons, I have to start mandatory alcohol testing (UA). The woman at the place said it will also screen for drugs in addition to alcohol (5 panel). I was wondering if taking primatene will show up on this. I didn't list it as a medication I was taking because on my file it says I was in therapy for an ED so I was scared that listing primatene as a medication would set off some alarms if they know about EC stacking.

Also, does anyone have experience with this kind of testing? How long does it take for alcohol or drugs to leave your system? I'm gonna quit drinking regularly, but I was wondering if I'm still able to like, have a beer with dinner or something every now and then.

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this, I just really have no idea where else to ask without setting off any red flags.

---

[Thinspo] Let's talk about our goals & thinspo!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 94 | 15.2 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 14:52:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttb25/lets_talk_about_our_goals_thinspo/
---
Okay, so I was wondering what your ideal body would look like. My goal is what some would consider pretty extreme. A couple years ago my goals/thinspo were more at a 17 bmi, but as I've lost more, that's shifted much lower. Even regular thinspo I usually think "not enough". (Just to clarify, I'm NOT trying to say anyone's goals aren't enough! That's a totally personal thing!)

Anyway, I was wondering what kind of asthetic y'all are going for? Slender? Bony? Skeletal? Somewhere in between? Pics or your fav thinspo would be awesome too!

[Here's] (http://imgur.com/a/vhCZD) some that represents what I'm reaching for! (NSFW!)

---

[Other] when your ec stack makes you crave butter lettuce + strawberry baby food for lunch.
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 14:47:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tta9a/when_your_ec_stack_makes_you_crave_butter_lettuce/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/465ceed094e84a9f9cd8542856d3a0ed?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=607b5f842bd8d4b5f8883084ca401d37

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[Tip] First time fasting. Can anyone give me some tips?
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! |GW 140| UGW 112|-7lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 13:13:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tst9x/first_time_fasting_can_anyone_give_me_some_tips/
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[removed]

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[Other] Going to try my first 24hr fast tomorrow
/u/madamdepompadour
Created: Wed Jul 20 13:03:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tsrcn/going_to_try_my_first_24hr_fast_tomorrow/
---
See how it goes. Fingers crossed!

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[Rant/Rave] I am drunk. Thank you guys
/u/thirdocean
Created: Wed Jul 20 12:54:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tspng/i_am_drunk_thank_you_guys/
---
So as I said I'm drunk. This thread tho. You guys help me. I've lost like 5 pounds in 3 days. I throw up. Everything and walk about a mile a day. I'm so happy. I'm over 20bs. I've always been heavy but I'm almost under it. And that's my goal. So I throw up everything. I know it's bad but I crave feeling good. I'm really thankful for those who post low cal meals because I want to learn how to keep food down. I want to recover but I want to be skinny more. Idk I love you all

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[Rant/Rave] Diagnosed with anorexia, having mixed feelings
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 20 11:52:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tseh6/diagnosed_with_anorexia_having_mixed_feelings/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I want to walk my little one down to the park for her swim lesson
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 11:31:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tsaqa/i_want_to_walk_my_little_one_down_to_the_park_for/
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But it has to be 100 degrees. The poor child would swelter! I'm mad at the weather for being so nice but so hot and making me lose steps and exercise time lol. Gotta pace the house. Also, I think I might be on my own and I'm scared. I live with my grandparents so I'm not truly alone, but my actions have pushed my SO away so much that I don't deserve him. I wanted a family and to move in together but my habits and vices have destroyed everything. Just feeling sorry for mself. On the brightside I have been consuming a bit less booze (If he leaves, no guarantees that I won't fly right back onto that wagon) and I have been restricting quite well. I also got sick for no reason so yay poop? Lol I hope everything is ok. The only reason I'm not crying is cause once I start it ain't gonna stop. My heart shouldn't race like this 😖

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[Other] How('s/'d) your lunch go everyone? What did you have?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 11:12:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ts7gp/howsd_your_lunch_go_everyone_what_did_you_have/
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http://imgur.com/VQ22Hbb

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[Discussion] Just realised a weird thing I do - eating out of date food when I eat something I shouldn't. Anyone else?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 11:00:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ts550/just_realised_a_weird_thing_i_do_eating_out_of/
---
I didn't realise I did this, but it hit me today whilst I was picking out particularly manky veg from my bowl. I caved and went to get some extra broccoli and lettuce despite it not being in my plan for the day.. and automatically checked and reached for the out of date packs that I keep in the fridge.

I realised.. I always do this? I keep food well past it sell by date, until it's totally bad and only then do I chuck it. I buy fresh food for my daily diet plan always (I go to the store every day I plan to eat to do this, for my veg), but I always have a back up of out of date food and make myself eat that if I eat something 'extra' that I shouldn't be having.

Huh. Weird. Thinking about it, it kinda feels like a punishment or something. It's weird that I never acknowledged it or purposely did it though.. Thanks, fucked up brain.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 20 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4truo2/daily_food_diary_july_20_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Thinspo] misc alternative thinspo
/u/chuuta [5'4 | 114.2 | 19.85 | -14.9 | female]
Created: Wed Jul 20 09:54:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trt9x/misc_alternative_thinspo/
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https://imgur.com/a/e9j7Y

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[Discussion] Do you feel like people don't like you because of your weight?
/u/Iheartbrandicarlile
Created: Wed Jul 20 09:29:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trol9/do_you_feel_like_people_dont_like_you_because_of/
---
Hi, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post, but I've always felt like this and most people seem to think I'm insane when I tell them this.

So, I was a pudgy kid (due to medication) and being bullied and fat gave me a bad body image. This carried over into puberty, when I started losing weight. I still felt like I was too fat, and the reason it was hard for me to make friends/get a boyfriend was cause I was too fat and ugly (even though I had a low-normal bmi). Now I'm a bit older, back to the lower normal bmi (after years of weight fluctuation) and still feel like the reason people don't really like me is cause I'm too fat and ugly; I can only make friends online cause I'm pretty sure that people in real life can see just how ugly and fat I am, and that I am too unappealing to be their friend. It's really depressing but I can't find any other reasoning, because I'm very kind to people!

Again, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post, but I just wanted to know if anyone can relate. I don't know anyone with an ED so when I ask the people I do know they seem to think I'm crazy. Anyway, thanks.

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[Discussion] Fitbit . Is it worth it?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Wed Jul 20 09:11:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trlb1/fitbit_is_it_worth_it/
---
My primary form of exercise is walking, and i try to do a lot of it, atleast 10k steps. i have a bunch of pedometers that are on my phone , but i just feel very nervous about them over estimating. Also i will be maintaining very soon and thought one may help .

So im thinking about grabbing a fitbit flex, (cause it seems to be the cheapest and i like the simple look of it)

So... CMON PROED tell me how this thing changed your life !!! make me spend the 60$!

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[Other] Holy shit, Pokemon Go
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 08:34:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trev3/holy_shit_pokemon_go/
---
Sorry for yet another post raving about Pokemon Go but holy shit I just ran/walked 4 miles to hit a bunch of pokestops and a gym. I've always called myself a "runner" but it was usually just a super slow mile that justified my pigging out later or I'd run regularly for a few weeks and then give up. Even though my time wasn't impressive by any means (just under an hour if you take out my standing at the gym for a while), it felt so good to be moving and burning off my weekend. Now I'm drinking a bunch of water and just took an EC stack so hopefully I can fast until dinner. Anyone have tips on reducing soreness so I can go out again tomorrow without feeling like crap?

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[Intro] [Intro] So I've been lurking
/u/TheMostUniqueUsrnm
Created: Wed Jul 20 08:24:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trd74/intro_so_ive_been_lurking/
---
I will admit, it was the fabled "AskReddit" post that alerted me to the existence of this sub... I've been poking around because I was curious about a community of other people with eating disorders, and you guys are just the sweetest sub on reddit! The community here is so supportive and kind, and you understand each other so well. It makes me feel less alone in my ED (even if I have only been lurking with no formal introduction) and I really appreciate that :)

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[Rant/Rave] So frustrated
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 08:14:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trbka/so_frustrated/
---
I'm super frustrated today. I restricted really heavily most of yesterday, until my boyfriend got home from work (had some leftover broccoli in oyster sauce, but purged it), and then had a single Thai summer roll and some mango sticky rice, totaling 535 calories. I woke up today and had gained half a pound. I'm pissed. I walked so much this weekend, and ate decently, and I'm still up in weight. Grrrrrrrrrr!!!

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[Tip] [Tip] Varying ways of eating helped me with bingeing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:55:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr8ee/tip_varying_ways_of_eating_helped_me_with_bingeing/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Low calorie alcohol???
/u/danimarie95
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:47:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr77p/low_calorie_alcohol/
---
Hey, lurker here. I'm going away this weekend to do some surfing with some friends. It's a camping thing and they're all talking about taking loads of booze etc and I was wondering a) if you guys go out and drink and b) what do you drink? There are so many calories in alcohol... Normally I'd just stick to weed but I'm pretty prone to getting munchies haha and will just end up binging again. Also, quite nervous about being around in swim stuff, but that's a wholeeee different problem lol.

---

[Intro] Maybe i fit in here?
/u/Eye8yourcheese [5'2 | 112 | 21.2 | UGW 105 | 31yo F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:41:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr6bq/maybe_i_fit_in_here/
---
Hi ProED. I've lurked on my main account for months but didn't feel safe posting, I like to believe I don't have an ED. Reading a lot. I'm not sure if I fit here either. I'm no anorexic, I'm not underweight, just obsessed with food. I consider myself an addict who switched from drugs to food and purging.

I don't fast, starve, or restrict. I don't weigh myself a lot, take lax, or really care about my weight as long as it stays under 120. I don't exercise more than normal. I never count calories or use MFP. I don't do crash diets or fat diets. I don't take uppers or diuretics. I don't want to weigh 80lbs or look emaciated.

I do, however, obsess about food. I'm a stay at home mom of 4 kids and a crap load of animals, so pretty much my entire day is spent doing food related stuff. I cook, I garden, I can/preserve/freeze, I trade at farmer's markets, I milk the goats and gather the eggs from the chickens, I prepare meals, I bake, I shop, I go to food banks all over the county. I look up and write down recipes, collect food coupons, download shopping apps.

And of course I eat! 3-4 big binges a day, most of which I purge (maybe 75%? Ish?) and when I have the house to myself I'm always stuffing my face. I shoplift tons of food, even made an Instagram of my stolen food. I drink to excess. I barf till I bleed. I do cheap buffets and make myself entire pots of spaghetti or fried rice. I eat anything and everything. Even if I don't like a food, I'll probably still eat it. And once I start, I can't stop.

I've been to treatment twice, once I was diagnosed COE and bulimia. The other time atypical anorexia bp subtype (which is baloney IMO, I'm too fat and gluttonous to be ana).

So... does my fat ass fit in here with y'all beautiful skinny folks?

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[Meme/Humor] Tfw you're in the middle of b/p and you hear someone coming up the stairs (last meme I promise haha)
/u/emptymamii [5'5" | 101 | 16.8 | GW: 84 | 21F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:40:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr66q/tfw_youre_in_the_middle_of_bp_and_you_hear/
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http://imgur.com/AeJWKa6

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[Discussion] Catch me up on all the gossip!
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 63kg (141lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:34:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr596/catch_me_up_on_all_the_gossip/
---
(on mobile sorry)

apparently we've been getting hate? maybe it's just down to great moderation and not subbing the right (wrong) subreddits, but I haven't seen any. what's up?

also that reminds me. were we linked to in an AskReddit post? I heard something about that..

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[Goal] Officially 40 lbs lost since March and can see wrist bones again.
/u/MulattoKhaleesi
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:20:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr3bu/officially_40_lbs_lost_since_march_and_can_see/
---
http://imgur.com/ogscdTe

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[Thinspo] [thinspo] morning legs
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:19:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr34s/thinspo_morning_legs/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/77dcab614dff4795a330498d9899a610?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=45fc0a636fc15ceb5153e282ed5a439a

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[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday July 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 20 06:03:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqt2k/way_to_go_wednesday_july_20_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for July 20, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Goal] Halloween goals
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:59:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqslg/halloween_goals/
---
I've given up on not having the body composition of an arctic seal for the summer, but halloween is 103 days away. I've managed to binge myself back up to 140, and I want to be 114 for halloween to get my BMI under 20.

I want to continue to wear my less revealing clothes and then on Halloween wear some hot as shit outfit. So here we go. 103 days. 26 pounds. Lezdodis

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[Rant/Rave] All my friends are out clubbing tonight
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:48:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqrbl/all_my_friends_are_out_clubbing_tonight/
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And I'm sitting at home. I was invited, but I haven't replied to my facebook messages in weeks. I think I did want to go out, but I've binged for the past couple of days and couldn't justify the 800 odd calories from alcohol tonight. God knows I ended up over 1000 anyway. I flaked on a night out last week as well, because I was on a good run of restriction and didn't want to mess it up with alcohol.

It's so easy for me to isolate myself in the holidays. I stay in the house, sitting on the couch and eating and hating myself for it, but whenever I get a chance to leave the house, I don't. I am so tired of this, and I'm so tired of sabotaging myself.

/rant

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[Rant/Rave] I just wanted to say thank you
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:41:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqqhv/i_just_wanted_to_say_thank_you/
---
This subreddit has been getting a lot of criticism lately and it's honestly heartbreaking.

You guys are wonderful people. I have never been part of a subreddit this welcoming and kind. We all care about each other. And despite our disordered thoughts, we still care about each other's health and well-being.

This is such an amazing community. And I feel like we need people in our lives who understand us and what we're going through. It's really hard when people go in our "safe space" and call us fucked up for enabling each other when all we're trying to do is find and give support.

I might be a bit late to the whole thing but I just wanted to say thank you to each and everyone of you. You are all such beautiful people and I'm lucky to have found this subreddit.

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[Tip] Rice Krispies
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:15:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqnn5/rice_krispies/
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So I came to a realization during breakfast this morning. Rice Krispies have a HUGE portion size for just 130 calories (170 with milk), and they have an oddly large number of essential nutrients. I don't know about you guys, but my body is quite low on Iron so I've been trying to find iron rich food or supplements (that don't cause constipation,which is a side effect). Rice Krispies have 50% of your daily value for Iron and for Folic Acid. I don't know if you guys know what Folic Acid is, but it is recommended that all women of reproductive age (~14-50 years) get the recommended daily value. This is because it helps prevent birth defects (I work with pregnant moms sometimes), but also it helps with hair/skin/nails health. I've found most gummy vitamins DON'T have iron or folic acid in them, which is why I don't use gummies. I just thought I'd let you all know in case this information might be helpful :)

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[Other] Inpatient Update #2
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:04:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqmex/inpatient_update_2/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] So I usually weigh myself first thing in the morning but on a whim decided to weigh myself before bed...
/u/weedecrestrictrepeat [5'4" | 127.0 | 21.80 | -6.2 | 24/F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 01:22:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tq05n/so_i_usually_weigh_myself_first_thing_in_the/
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...and I weigh less than I did this morning! 4.4 lbs less, to be exact. I usually try to avoid weighing at night because 99% of the time I gain a few pounds of water weight and go to bed feeling like a failure.

But tonight was different. I went to my friend's house to watch the latest ep of The Bachelorette (obsessed) and ended up drinking wine and eating cheese with them. I was mad at myself for ruining all of the fasting progress I made today, and felt inclined to see what the scale had to say about it. I'm still really curious to see where I'm at in the morning but more than that I'm bewildered. Has anyone else experienced this?

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[Intro] I just counted, my dance team audition is in 70 days, and I can't deal with how I look in dance clothes.
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 23:10:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpl1j/i_just_counted_my_dance_team_audition_is_in_70/
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I've always had disordered eating patterns. I've been fine for the past couple of years, but I'm auditioning for my college dance team and taking a lot of dance classes and having to constantly look at my full body in the mirror...yikes. I guess I have 70 days to look my best.

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[Rant/Rave] if eating poorly wasn't the norm I doubt I would have an ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 19 23:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpjxi/if_eating_poorly_wasnt_the_norm_i_doubt_i_would/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] breakfast is basically just dessert
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Tue Jul 19 23:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpjmu/breakfast_is_basically_just_dessert/
---
Bagels. Muffins. Donuts. Cereals. Pastries. Cream coffees. Smoothies. "Coffee cake." Tarts. Waffles. Pancakes. Crepes.

But arbitrarily, if I ate three snickers bars for breakfast people would find it "unhealthy." You're just eating the same sugar and the same calories in another form, friends.

Even with an ED, I'm healthier than at *least* half of Americans. It's absolutely amazing.

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[Help] Tips on decreasing food/calorie intake
/u/throwawayed865 [5'9" | Fat | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 22:19:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpedm/tips_on_decreasing_foodcalorie_intake/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] [rant] Update from camping hell
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Tue Jul 19 22:15:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpdw4/rant_update_from_camping_hell/
---
I'm losing it out here. My mom is basically forcing food on me and I'm eating at ~1200 a day. Breakfast and dinner are mandatory and if I'm not shoveling food down my throat like the rest of my fat-ass family (sorry that was mean but I can't deal) she starts asking me, "what's wrong? Why aren't you eating? Eat more." I cannot wait to go back home to my apartment and restrict and fast and just be free from this awful experience. I can't even enjoy this camping trip because I'm so anxious about eating and this food.

I'm trying to figure out how to get out of breakfast tomorrow. I think I'm just going to "sleep in". Aaafghfjejwkekf.

/rant

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[Help] Is pineapple really only 50 cals per 100g??
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Tue Jul 19 22:06:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpcnj/is_pineapple_really_only_50_cals_per_100g/
---
It just seems too good to be true. My calorie goal today is 300 cals so I was planning on eating 600g of pineapple but I want to make sure first.

Please help! Thank you <3

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[Tip] Tips on decreasing calorie/food intake
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 19 22:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpc5b/tips_on_decreasing_caloriefood_intake/
---
[deleted]

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Sub Wide 5-Day fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 19 20:39:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tozty/sub_wide_5day_fast/
---
[removed]

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[Help] Where to get EC stacks in US
/u/thinkthinlythrowaway
Created: Tue Jul 19 19:30:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4top0c/where_to_get_ec_stacks_in_us/
---
Hi long time stalker first time poster
Everyone talks about EC stacks and when I google it comes with ECA but I've abused pain pills in past and I'm afraid I'll hurt liver so does anyone know where to just get EC stacks

Also I have nexplanon so does anyone know if it'll effect that?

Thanks for everything in advanced and sorry if I'm doing this all wrong.

---

[Intro] Just broke up with the most wonderful man ever and I'm too excited about an excuse not to eat to be upset over it.
/u/Fanashit [5'4" |130 | 22.75 | -55lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 19:16:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tomrt/just_broke_up_with_the_most_wonderful_man_ever/
---
Everyone loved us together. I still love us together. It hurts a lot, even though he's still going to be a part of my life, but I have to admit, I'm excited. It's totally normal for someone's appetite to go away after a breakup. I can get away with eating absolutely nothing for a while and just say I can't keep food down since the breakup. I said that to a friend today when she asked what I'm doing for dinner and she just nodded and said to drink some tea.

It's a bit motivating, too. He got me comfortable enough with my body to get naked with groups of people and now I'm more motivated to lose more weight to have something worth showing off. There's a planned group naked/sexual party next month at his house and I'm so excited for it.

I've been lurking for a while on my main and I already feel so at home here among people I know will understand!

I never eat before work, everyone knows I don't eat at work, and now I don't have to eat after work because I'm not going to his house and nobody will hear my stomach growl and try to give me food. I already feel so much more relaxed.

[Starting from here!](http://i.imgur.com/2Aqd2Ot.png)

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[Thinspo] I am so sick of the summer...have some cold weather thinspo
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 19:06:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tol9q/i_am_so_sick_of_the_summerhave_some_cold_weather/
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http://imgur.com/a/oQ4ns

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[Rant/Rave] Self sabotage
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 18:27:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4toffy/self_sabotage/
---
FUCK ME DUDE!


I've been binging like crazy lately I normally eat between 400 and 600 calories a day which NORMALLY is enough for me now I'm double- triple that. And yes I'm aware in my rational brain that double- triple 400 calories is relatively normal to low but tell that to my irrational fat shaming brain. I get through the day fine then BAM home from work and I don't stop eating. To top it off I haven't exercised in about 3 weeks. No running, no fitness blender no gym IN THREE FRIGGIN WEEKS. What's my deal you may ask? I'm lazy and just want to sleep after work. I lack motivation. I finally hit 105 and I'm back peddling and have become lazy. What is wrong with me!?!?!??! What gives I just want to be normal.

---

[Rant/Rave] Just having a bad couple of days...
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 16:51:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnzyi/just_having_a_bad_couple_of_days/
---
I have had extremely bad binging episodes for two weeks and will go back and forth of being like "ok you don't look that bad" to "wow, you are a fat cow"....

With my ED, depression, anxiety, drug use, other personal issues sometimes I wish I could just let my ED kill me so that I don't have to do this all anymore.

I don't know how to get out of this rut and I can't even go one day without annoying everyone I care about.

I don't even know what the point of this post is either. I guess just a "rant".

Thanks for being such a supportive community for me to go to when I need help. You guys are the best.

---

[Rant/Rave] Mom, please don't make promises for me...
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 16:36:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnxiu/mom_please_dont_make_promises_for_me/
---
I'm going to the ocean Saturday with my parents to visit some family. We're having dinner there, which is fine, I probably won't eat until dinner. BUT she told our family I'm making chocolate cake that I make for birthdays sometimes. Are you serious? And since it's a road trip they'll probably make me get fast food. I'm so fucking scared.

Edit: Okay, I just told her I don't want to have it because it's literally 500 calories/piece. She's annoyed but said that's fine, although now she wants smores. Why do we have to have dessert? Dessert is not a meal.

---

[Rant/Rave] I love love love Pokémon Go
/u/stelldichein
Created: Tue Jul 19 16:22:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnv4z/i_love_love_love_pokémon_go/
---
I know, there are already so many of these threads but I just had to share my excitement. The game was just recently released in my country and I've been playing non-stop. I like gaming but I have the problem that I can't focus on playing for a long time but it's so different with Pokémon Go. I'm walking around all day, with all my attention on the game (and of course some on walking around safely...) and I've already met so many nice people.

But yeah, I love that it makes me walk, not just a bit but the whole day! It's summer break right now and usually, I'd be just sitting around all lazy but now, I actually have something really fun **and** active to do. And it also makes me forget everything else, which is super nice.

---

[Discussion] DAE's mood get completely influenced by the scale?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 16:18:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnula/daes_mood_get_completely_influenced_by_the_scale/
---
Ugh this is so frustrating... i feel so bad. I become horribly irritable and depressed if the scale doesn't do what I want it to do.

Today, I woke up 1.1 lbs heavier than yesterday and I just went into a funk and cried for hours. A few hours and bottles of water later and I'm down 2.2 from this morning now I feel elated and happy again.

The emotion fluctuation is probably the most annoying thing to everyone else I know, and I feel guilty for it :(

Anyone else get this? Is there any way to make this not as severe?

---

[Intro] Hello
/u/notaverygoodplan [5'4" | CW 190lbs | 33.2 | F | GW 110lbs by 12/27]
Created: Tue Jul 19 15:48:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnpib/hello/
---
Hi everyone!
This is my introduction post, I am very glad to have found this subreddit. I frequent here quite a bit, and it's very helpful to me to know that I am not alone.
I don't really know if I have anorexia or bulimia because I've never been small enough to really think I have a problem.
The main reason I am here though is because while lurking I have realized that I have a lot of thoughts and actions similar to some of the people here. I have also noticed that my excessive eating habits are technically known as binge eating disorder.
Anyways, hello and welcome to me.

---

[Discussion] What's something you know without a doubt you're going to binge on later today?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 19 15:19:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnkiz/whats_something_you_know_without_a_doubt_youre/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Do you ever eat frozen meals like lean cuisine?
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Tue Jul 19 15:13:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnjgq/do_you_ever_eat_frozen_meals_like_lean_cuisine/
---
I'm a big "counter" but I don't like counting... Sometimes it feels easier to just have two frozen meals a day and not think about it. Do you ever eat those meals with the counts already done for you?

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[Help] help | stopping a purge
/u/texas_native [5'6" | 118 | 19.05 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 14:52:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnfn0/help_stopping_a_purge/
---
i need some advice if anyone has some...

because i'm used to restricting, i haven't had the urge to purge in a while. well, that ended yesterday; after staring into the toilet debating which way i wanted to feel. i really don't like purging, and i'm afraid this has once again opened the door of 'it's okay' -- not that what i do is any better, but this one is a slippery slope for me.

do any of you have tactics to help *stop* you from purging? any distraction methods? any mantras? hoping to not need them, but knowing i probably will.

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[Help] German Vacation ((HELP I'M FREAKING OUT))
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 14:39:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tndfo/german_vacation_help_im_freaking_out/
---
AAAAAAA!!! So here's the great news- it's my first trip outside the US and I'm having a great time with everything!! Its absolutely perfect except for one thing..... the food.

Holy mother of Martin Luther I think my brain is going to short circuit from all this food anxiety!! Everything is so greasy and it's like the 3 main food groups are meat, carbs, and liquid carbs (beer).

How the hell am I gonna survive these two weeks??!?! I don't know the nutrition info for anything, and I can't speak German so i have no idea what the menu says... plus I just binged all last week and I desperately need to fix my diet before my b/p-ing makes me even fatter!!

I'm going to be eating out almost every night, and I'll be surrounded by family so fasting isn't an option... how do I fix this?? I seriously don't know how I'm going to survive this trip...

(That being said if pork wasn't a fear food and if I didn't have serious ocd issues with grease I'd be living it up, the food looks so good... but the disorder...)

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[Thinspo] She's not stick-thin, but dammit I worship Kayla Hadlington. <3
/u/lithelife [5'4''| CM: 35-27-39| GM: 33-23-36 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 14:35:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tncne/shes_not_stickthin_but_dammit_i_worship_kayla/
---
http://imgur.com/a/PJeVf

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[Rant/Rave] The hottest day of summer in the UK...
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 14:32:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnc6y/the_hottest_day_of_summer_in_the_uk/
---
... Leads to BBQs, chocolate and wine. God damnit. Thank god this is a once a year weather event. I've eaten 1800 calories today at least. I'm so annoyed with myself.

---

[Other] When you are at 400 after dinner
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Jul 19 13:04:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmvaa/when_you_are_at_400_after_dinner/
---
And then you eat 4 (?!?!) peaches, an Apple and like half a pineapple.

Ffs.

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I need a little reminder sometimes, maybe some of you can benefit too~
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 19 13:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmv0j/i_need_a_little_reminder_sometimes_maybe_some_of/
---
http://imgur.com/FOXJqh8

---

[Discussion] What are your daily calorie targets?
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Tue Jul 19 12:55:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmthj/what_are_your_daily_calorie_targets/
---
Just curious. I like to compare myself to others for some reason. My magic number is 800. I don't know why. I can't take my brain off that number no matter what I do, I just can shake it...

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[Other] What are some other subs you guys follow?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 12:18:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmm1f/what_are_some_other_subs_you_guys_follow/
---
This account is exclusively for my ED, was wondering what else is out there. So far I have r/thinspiration, r/kpopfap, r/fasting... Maybe r/skincareaddiction? I dunno.

---

[Discussion] Good binging?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 12:05:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmjj0/good_binging/
---
Lately, I've been hungry enough to the point where I don't really care what I eat as long as I eat, so I've been using my binge moments to have salad, veggies, and pickles. Really feel like I'm on to something here. I feel like I'm reprogramming my brain to crave better, healthier(ish) food which could be a great turning point for my progress. Has anyone else had experience with this? Did it last?


Not gonna lie though, I was playing the sims last night and my sim was craving chocolate chip cookies. Y'all it took everything I had not to go to the store at midnight zonked out from Melatonin, and buy cookie dough. Still day dreaming about freshly baked cookies.

---

[Help] Therapist said he'd be "VERY concerned" if I went under 120 lbs.. I'm 5'4!!
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 11:28:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmc58/therapist_said_hed_be_very_concerned_if_i_went/
---
Hi everybody,

I just had an appointment with my therapist yesterday, and before I went in I was feeling really good but now I'm just confused/frustrated.

I've been really active and have had less anxiety over eating because of how active I've been, so I was feeling pretty proud of that. I also told him that I upped my goal weight from 108 lbs to 115. He said that while that was good, it was smaller than my original goal right (don't even remember what it was) and that I'm right where I should be and if I fall below 120 he'll be very concerned and see that as a big alarm bell.

I'm confused. I'm 5'4 so that is well within my weight range, plus not even the smallest I could be. I'm frustrated because I thought it was safely attainable and not too extreme, but after him saying that and my family starting to worry about me, I'm getting the feeling if I continue to lose like I want people will be on my booty about it.

Anybody have any experience with this? Should I just aim for 120 or go more slowly so people don't get too worried?

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[Rant/Rave] Depressed. Found out I'm not going to meet goal weight by September...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 10:56:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tm5z6/depressed_found_out_im_not_going_to_meet_goal/
---
The past two weeks were really hard on me and I abandoned everything for a while... I wasn't working or studying really, and binged nearly everyday (2000 - 3000 cal a day). I didn't gain too much weight thankfully but I am upset because now that I have my head on straight and sat down to look at the damage... all that wasted time means I won't meet my goal weight by September. Both losertown and loseit said I'd make it by early October. Getting back to campus in a body I felt good in was a major motivator for me, and now it's gone.

This is not helping things because when I'm depressed I get REALLY inactive and start emotionally eating, and this is just going to get me stuck in that nasty cycle all over again. If anyone has any words of encouragement I'd really appreciate it. I feel like I'm sinking :(

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[Rant/Rave] what the shit is this? emotional vomit, that's what.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 10:42:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tm37h/what_the_shit_is_this_emotional_vomit_thats_what/
---
I guess I can't be surprised that willful negligence of my diet and exercise has triggered my anxiety and compounded my insomnia.

how much do I weight? I don't fucking knnooowwww!!!!

Did I exercise this morning? no! because I was too fucking tired from the insomnia!

How much did I eat last night? Who fucking knows! I binged on donut holes as soon as I got home because apparently I'm an asshole!

What did I eat for breakfast this morning? My regular breakfast plus a gigantic donut the intern brought in. Why? Because I'm a dickhead!

I've lost my way and I don't know how to get back. I've all but given up on my goal of 110lbs by my birthday.

I use my ED to gloss over what is essentially a maelstrom of emotions. 17 years ago I realized no one truly gives a shit about how I feel, and as long as I play my part (quietly) then life can go on as usual.

People have accused me of lacking empathy. What they doesn't realize is that my perception of empathy is ice cold; no one extended it to me when I needed it the most, so I'll be fucked if someone wants me to play nanny nurse maid with their emotions.

Let me in they say! So I do, then its all ooohh, I can't handle this, you need a therapist, you're too depressed, why don't you cheer up?

You know what? Fuck you then. You don't get access to that part of me anymore. No one does. Don't give me shit about how I'm 'unemotional' and 'unempathetic' and then shove me off cause my shit is too hard to deal with.

You made me this way, this is what you wanted. I was too flawed earlier, to raw and weepy and dramatic. So now I'm not; I'm measured, in control, cold and distant. I don't react, I don't cry, I think before I speak and I present logical solutions rather than emotional pandering.

Now this is a problem? Well to bad, shit head. I've only made it this far by starving the chaos and driving it into submission with regimentation. You don't get to take any of this away from me because I won't give you an emotional hand job. You got problems? Tough shit sugar tits, we all do, **and no one cares**.

ETA: I felt it last night, since then I've been trying to ignore it but its true. My self injury impulse is back. Fuuuuuuuuuuck me. Just what I need to deal with on top of feeling like a bloated piece of shit. ಠ_ಠ Like seriously, I'm too old for this shit, but this urge always springs up when I feel out of control. This urge is the reason my right forearm is scar tissue, and why I didn't fall too far into an ED when I was a teen. So wat do? Skip lunch, channel the urge into overt hunger pains? Eat lunch and punch my thighs?

I feel like a snail desiccated by salt.

---

[Thinspo] Things Plus-Size Girls Can't Do - reverse thinspo
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Tue Jul 19 10:29:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tm0q7/things_plussize_girls_cant_do_reverse_thinspo/
---
https://youtu.be/nGfhRfkGjxE

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 19 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlvlc/daily_food_diary_july_19_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Goal] my very sweaty progress (?) photo
/u/Bae-side [5'5 | 125| 20.8| F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 09:39:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlr81/my_very_sweaty_progress_photo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/lFYub

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[Rant/Rave] DAE have a friend that they absolutely love, but also hate at times?
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:118 | BMI:20.66 | GW:108 | F -10lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 19 09:21:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlnw1/dae_have_a_friend_that_they_absolutely_love_but/
---
So my best friend in the world of 16 years- I love her to pieces, she's like my other half. But sometimes....idk it feels like she flaunts her best traits in the most annoying way.

I've never been the skinny friend which I guess wouldn't be so bad except I'm not the pretty one either. I'm not saying I'm ugly, but she's definitely gorgeous and preferred. So she's skinny, beautiful and has a perfect body and yet I hear her all the time complaining about her (non-existent) beer belly or complaining that her boobs are getting bigger, or that no matter how much she eats she can never gain any weight. Ugh, I get it, you're perfect.... and lately since I've been losing weight she told me how she's started running in the morning. Like...it sucks and I feel really petty but, it just seems like the moment I'm starting to feel myself improve there she is to remind me that'll she'll always be better.

I do love her, she's my sister and I would do anything for her but being around her lately has made me feel so shitty. Sorry for the rant, I just can't really talk to anyone else about this, ya know?

---

[Rant/Rave] Literally a life saver
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | CW: 162 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 09:16:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tln07/literally_a_life_saver/
---
[removed]

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[Help] Low cal alcoholic drinks?
/u/Hi_ilikerocks
Created: Tue Jul 19 09:04:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlknf/low_cal_alcoholic_drinks/
---
I have an alcohol problem but it's keeping me away from my GW. :'( Do any of you lovelies have suggestions for 50-60 cal alcoholic drinks I can find? Thank you! <3

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[Other] Been in the hospital since Friday
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 143.6 | 24.27 | -17.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 08:54:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tliwm/been_in_the_hospital_since_friday/
---
Hey all,
I've been in the hospital since Friday afternoon with a collapsed lung, so nothing related to my ED at all. I was having chest pains and shortness of breath so I was scared it was something to do with the EC stacks I take sometimes, but it ended up that my left lung was almost all the way collapsed. I've never mentioned my ED before to Drs and plan on keeping it that way. It's just so hard being in the hospital and eating three square a day, plus the narcotics I've been having are making me incredibly constipated. Haven't pooped since Friday morning and I feel like I'm making a huge baby. I miss my safe food and restricting. I miss being at home. I hate having two tubes in between my ribs to get everything out. Jut so sick of it all.

---

[Other] where is a good digital place to keep notes/ideas/diary entries?
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 08:06:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlagl/where_is_a_good_digital_place_to_keep/
---
I want to write some things down, like food diaries in a personal way, on my computer so that my family won't see it. I also don't end up checking physical notebooks often

I have tried tumblr, google docs, etc., do you have any reccs for places to keep notes?

---

[Discussion] Has anyone tried doTerra's Slim & Sassy line? They have appetite suppressing bars and instant drink mix, along with digestive promoting soft gels and shakes
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:39:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl5tr/has_anyone_tried_doterras_slim_sassy_line_they/
---
http://doterra.com/US/en/pl/weight-management

---

[Meme/Humor] Tfw you just ate a billion calories and all of a sudden a super skinny person walks near you
/u/emptymamii [5'5" | 101 | 16.8 | GW: 84 | 21F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:32:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl4tl/tfw_you_just_ate_a_billion_calories_and_all_of_a/
---
http://imgur.com/mJb7Bcg

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[Rant/Rave] I gained a pound and I am positively livid
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:29:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl4b5/i_gained_a_pound_and_i_am_positively_livid/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl4b5/i_gained_a_pound_and_i_am_positively_livid/

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[Rant/Rave] i binge less when i'm not actively restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:25:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl3qv/i_binge_less_when_im_not_actively_restricting/
---
recently i've been eating hardly anything on days where i'm not actively restricting / meticulously counting calories, yet on days where i restrict actively i almost always binge (yesterday i tried to eat a number of tiny meals and binged anyways, yet usually i can get by on liquids alone).

it's so confusing and i'm annoyed. ew.

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[Help] Teeth Whitening - Does anyone do this?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:03:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl062/teeth_whitening_does_anyone_do_this/
---
Between the occasional cigarette and all the diet soda, I'm worried about staining. I use a whitening toothpaste and mouthwash. But I'm worried these might not be sensitive enough since I also purge?

Idk, I don't want to damage my teeth by whitening, but don't want them super yellow.

Any suggestions? Or your current routine?

---

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 19 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkryb/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_19_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Discussion] Question about recovery: Is it true that you have to eat a ridiculous amount of calories if you go into recovery?! Anyone with experience?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 19 05:36:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkolp/question_about_recovery_is_it_true_that_you_have/
---
Something happened on Sunday that made me look more into recovery and read a little about fixing my eating habits. I've tried not to think about it but it's been playing on my mind and I finally feel like I had to ask..

I read that if you go to the doctor, and go and get help, they want you to eat like 3000 calories a day?! AND ban you from exercise?

Like, why?! Does anyone know more about this? I'm not ready for recovery anyway, but I looked at it, and now I feel pretty terrified at the thought of ever doing it.. apparently you're banned from exercise until you gain weight too?

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[Rant/Rave] Why don't people get that I don't want to celebrate things with food
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Jul 19 05:34:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkoda/why_dont_people_get_that_i_dont_want_to_celebrate/
---
No, I don't want fucking peaches because I got into college, or margaritas, or fresh French bread, or go out for dinner. Please stop, you are making me upset instead of happy.

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[Rant/Rave] Forming awesome habits. Really proud and I just felt like sharing with people who get it.
/u/Jaaasss [5'3 | 114 | 21.2 | GW 100| F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 04:58:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkjzx/forming_awesome_habits_really_proud_and_i_just/
---
I've been visiting my parents the past week, and have been giving into my cravings (how could I not when my mum makes amazing irresistible vegan food) - but instead of feeling guilty, hating myself and purging, i've been getting up, and working it all off. Ate some vegan pies, went and ran 7km. Had dinner with my bestie, did a 500 calorie workout afterwards. Ate some vegan cookies, jumped on the treadmill. I'm actually DOING it. Not just saying to myself "ill run off this pizza when i'm done".

Not only am I actually EXERCISING which is awesome itself, but i'm not feeling guilty, staying under my 500 calorie goals, still losing weight and getting to eat some rad stuff. I mean ideally i'd like to avoid eating the crap AT ALL but this is so much better than crying in bed.

It's all about forming habits y'all!! xx

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[Rant/Rave] Nervous About Lunch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 19 04:33:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkh4i/nervous_about_lunch/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] "So you're like one of those naturally skinny people?"
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 19 01:10:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tjv2b/so_youre_like_one_of_those_naturally_skinny_people/
---
Said last night. I was at running club talking to a buddy of my fathers. We were talking about activity and he was surprised to hear I go to the gym three times a week as well as running with them twice a week, because I 'don't need to lose weight' (he's a slightly chunkier guy, fantastic runner though and made brilliant progress already).

Don't get me wrong, this dude is actually very sweet. Very, very friendly guy who always has a smile and I enjoy saying Hi to him when I see him a lot. But this annoyed me, because

A) Erm.. you just heard that I run twice a week and go to the gym three times a week, yet now you're asking whether I'm 'one of those naturally skinny people'? Do you not make the connection already that NO, I actually put work in?

and

B) Just fucking no in general. Why do people even make this assumption? I used to weigh over 230lbs. Not weighing that any more took WORK. Sweat and many tears. And hunger. Of course, I can't pretend here on this sub that I 'did it properly/healthily' (although I did pretend to him that I did) but that doesn't stop it being effort. It would have been effort if I did it 'healthily' or not.

Nothing natural about this, and very rarely do people get to be skinny without putting at least some sort of effort in in this day and age - calories being so readily available and horribly delicious. I did get a fist bump when I told him what I used to weigh though and he was impressed. Again, friendly guy, even if his comment was misguided and made me rage inside.

I did accidentally let slip to him that I want to lose more weight though (Him: "*You go to the gym three times a week? But you certainly don't need to lose weight!*" Me, not thinking properly/in my own world, automatic response - "*Well I really do, I need to lose about 5lbs at least*"). I've been telling my father I'm not thinking of losing weight to stop him from worrying and get him off my back about it, and since this was my fathers buddy.. kind of worries he will mention it to Dad, especially since he looked kinda shocked. Eh, oops. I guess I can explain it away to my father somehow.

---

[Discussion] It's so exciting having a plan!
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 01:08:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tjurb/its_so_exciting_having_a_plan/
---
I have a plan now.

A plan where I cam be my goal weight by the end of my first month of university (round 2). And I can be a semi decent weight by frosh week!

I just get so excited when I have a plan.

Its not even crazy unhealthy either. 2 or 3 pounds a week, max, so my boyfriend can't say shit.

MyFitnessPal lets you set a similar plan.

Anyway.

I'm just so excited to be the best version of me that I'm not even thinking about the stress of trying to lose weight. I'm just excited to like my body.

I took a before picture and I wanted to vomit, but soon, in just 10 weeks, I won't want to vomit anymore, and I cannot wait.

---

[Other] You know you belong here when your phone looks like this...
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 01:00:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tjtug/you_know_you_belong_here_when_your_phone_looks/
---
http://imgur.com/yMya1Eh

---

[Help] I drink a lot and barely eat but am not losing weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 21:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tizz1/i_drink_a_lot_and_barely_eat_but_am_not_losing/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] I avoided binging today!
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 20:56:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tizbj/i_avoided_binging_today/
---
I've struggled with BED for years and have lately had more trouble with it because I've not been preoccupied with school or any activities. When I have free time, it gets extra bad, because I have no distractions. I'm better at restricting during school because it's such a huge distraction for me. Today, I even resisted the urge to get fries at McDonald's and settled for a diet cherry coke instead. So I'm pretty proud!

---

[Other] Goodnight everyone, I hope you wake up tmrw another pound down and closer to your goal weights.
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 20:53:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiyrz/goodnight_everyone_i_hope_you_wake_up_tmrw/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiyrz/goodnight_everyone_i_hope_you_wake_up_tmrw/

---

[Help] gaining even though eating consistently under bmr?
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 69 lb | 14.19 | -53 lb | FTM]
Created: Mon Jul 18 20:29:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiux4/gaining_even_though_eating_consistently_under_bmr/
---
hey guys, I'm sorry that I haven't been very active as of late. I've not had easy access to Internet for a while, and still don't, and this is on mobile again (as always) but I'm really starting to freak out.

I finally have ready access to a scale for now, so I've been weighing myself every morning - except 3 days ago I was 35.7 kg, the past two days I was 36 exactly, and this morning I'm 36.2 kg. To be fair, three days ago was when I met with my parents and now that I'm with them I'm forced to eat more, but I've definitely been eating at 1,000 cal/day a less and my BMR at my most strict calculations (very little activity/sedentary, 59.5 inches, female, 16, 35 kg - goal weight) should be 1,053 cal/day. And even so, with constantly rounding up I usually fall 100-200 short of a thousand a day.

If it helps, I haven't had a BM in a while, before I was typically eating from 0-500 cal a day and I've suddenly jumped from walking ~8,000-10,000 steps a day to mostly being sedentary, but by calories I should be maintaining...

Could water weight be accounting for this much? I'm sorry if this is formatted poorly, but I'm freaking out.

---

[Help] Calorie Tracker with Pedometer?
/u/witchy2628
Created: Mon Jul 18 20:00:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiq9h/calorie_tracker_with_pedometer/
---
So I track my calories on mfp and I also use a pedometer to see how many calories I burn while I'm at work (I have a fast paced job where I'm jogging around all day), if I eat 800 calories (worst case scenario) and my tracker says I burned like, 300, should I count it as 500 for my day or keep it at 800?? What do you guys do?

---

[Rant/Rave] i feel like such a fucking failure
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 19:59:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiq10/i_feel_like_such_a_fucking_failure/
---
last night i was shopping for dresses and i couldn't even fit into a size 3x. today i had a huge binge at lunch. i look like such a pig compared to all of you beauties who post on here. i'm never going to reach my goal. my body is so disgusting. i just wish i could cut all the fat parts off, but then that would be my entire body.

---

[Rant/Rave] I had my first binge in 2 weeks, but it's OK because it is the smallest binge I have had this year
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 19:49:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiodh/i_had_my_first_binge_in_2_weeks_but_its_ok/
---
I'm really proud of myself right now, I know it is silly.

Usually when I binge it is an all day feast from morning till the time I go to bed. My binges would be massive 6k calories +, and I never purged anything up. But not today.

Today I only binged at dinner time, and it was on *good* food. Not my university's nasty dining hall food, which I have to eat gallons of to feel satisfied. I ate copious amounts of my mother's homemade sushi. I drank half a bottle of blueberry wine brewed by a friend of my dad. And for dessert, I gorged myself on green tea ice cream and warm black sesame mian bao (Chinese steamed buns). I'm going to say I consumed around 2300 calories in three hours. And I know I should feel horrible because it is going to set me back a few days, but the crazy thing is..I don't feel bad at all. I feel happy.

I never thought I would say any of this, but here I am. I'm so proud of myself for getting here, because yes even though it is still a binge it is a small one. That's progress, you know? And they say progress leads to success so...I think I am ready for it now.

---

[Discussion] Xanax and binging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 19:21:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tik2m/xanax_and_binging/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] cn: purging, blood, calories ment (more in description)
/u/tartansheep [5'10 | 143lb|20.3 | -13lb| F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:42:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tidp7/cn_purging_blood_calories_ment_more_in_description/
---
went out drinking (four double vodka and diet cokes. maybe 800 - 1000 cals) after not eatng

got back ate 1 sausage rolll (100) nd purged. saw blood.

not seen blood for a while. long nails?

---

[Rant/Rave] I'll bet this sub knows what happened here (TW goldfish crackers)
/u/canikeepit [5'4" | 151 | BMI26 | -69 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:36:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ticvz/ill_bet_this_sub_knows_what_happened_here_tw/
---
http://imgur.com/kOWjstL

---

[Help] I've eaten 1400 cals a day for 2 weeks. Why do I still so badly want to binge?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:31:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tibwi/ive_eaten_1400_cals_a_day_for_2_weeks_why_do_i/
---
I'm binging right now. This is so frustrating. Idk why I still have such strong urges.

---

[Help] Bad friends and Binges
/u/thirdocean
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:29:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tibk1/bad_friends_and_binges/
---
I'm trying to eat less and stop binging. I'm over 200lbs because of a medication I was on. My friend always wants to go to restaurants. Like unhealthy all you can fast food shit. She knows I have an ED. But she still pushes me. She can't gain weight though. Like 120lbs type and eats everything. Then she talks about how pretty she is and how she could sleep with anyone and poses in ways to give herself a thigh gap and shit and like idk??? What do I do?

---

[Help] How do you convince yourself to eat? Also, tmi
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:26:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tib1i/how_do_you_convince_yourself_to_eat_also_tmi/
---
I've been fasting for two days and for the past couple hours I keep vomiting. I've been mixing light salt and normal salt into my tea, but I just keep puking it up. I know my body won't be able to take this much longer, but I'm having trouble motivating myself to eat. I committed myself to a five day fast, I don't want to stop - I'm afraid to eat again...

---

[Other] My delicious 175 calorie dinner :)
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:08:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ti86n/my_delicious_175_calorie_dinner/
---
[Zoodles!](https://imgur.com/a/w2oOR)

So, this past weekend was pretty "yikes"... I ate probably 1000cal Friday, Sat, and Sunday... and my budget is supposed to be 750. Whoops.

To make up for that, today I had a light breakfast (2 eggs and 1/4 avocado) with coffee, skipped lunch, and now having a really filling low-cal dinner!

Zoodles with Rao's arrabiatta and vidalia onion!

I used 2 medium zucchini's, about 12.5 oz, because I was hungry af, which was about 60 cals according to my LoseIt app! Spiralized (used OXO brand). Then 1/3 cup vidalia onion was 21 cals, and 2/3 cup Arrabiatta was roughly 93 cals!

Simmered sauce with chopped onion while I spiralized the zucchini, then dried lightly salted zucchini over paper towels

Let the sauce simmer and zucchini dry for about 15m.

Lightly sautéed the zucchini in a pan with just a light coating of a zero cal olive oil spray.

Put in a bowl and added the sauce (which should be thickened after simmering) and voilà!!!

Xoxox 😇

---

[Rant/Rave] I just put a hanger back because it had the "Large" label on it.
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ti6zr/i_just_put_a_hanger_back_because_it_had_the_large/
---
You know how clothing stores use those hangers that have the sizes written on the top? Clothing store hangers always work better than normal ones, so whenever I go shopping I ask if I can take some extra ones home with me. Most employees don't mind since they have stock piles in the back.

Anyways, when I was checking out the items I bought today I asked if she had any extra hangers behind the counter I could have. She gladly said yes and stuff three or four into my bag. When she grabbed them I noticed one of them said "L" on top (meaning a large size for un-americans, I'm not sure how that works in other countries!). I panicked. It was like if I had a "Large" labeled hanger in my closet then all of my clothes were larges and I couldn't handle that. I know it doesn't actually mean anything and that wearing a large size isn't too crazy because I know some people wear them just because they're tall, but I couldn't do it. I took the hanger out of the bag, put it on the counter, said thank you, and walked away.

It's like my ED brain is so bad I can barely socially function.

---

[Help] Does anyone's body dysmorphia prevent them from losing more weight?
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 17:48:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ti4qr/does_anyones_body_dysmorphia_prevent_them_from/
---
I am not sure if I am the only person in this subreddit who has seen pictures of extremely underweight people, and thought they look too thin.

I don't want to look emancipated. I want to be thin, but I don't want to lose my curves. I'm just worried that I'll hit my goal weight and decide I'm not happy with myself and aim lower, until I do look emancipated but I won't be able to tell because I'm so body dysmorphic. Maybe when I reach a certain weight, I'll become obsessed with parts of my body looking /too/ thin?

I hope so, but I'm not sure that's how eating disorders work.

---

[Discussion] Does anyone prefer big clothing?
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 17:37:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ti30t/does_anyone_prefer_big_clothing/
---
There have been a lot of posts lately about finding clothing in one's own size, and it got me thinking of my preferences. I hate having anything tight on my body, I fear people seeing my body. I'm probably a small of XS, but I usually buy medium so I'm swimming in my clothing. I once went as far as having an anxiety attack when my boyfriend tried to get me to go to a party wearing a tight dress (yay for social anxiety and distorted body image) and made him turn around so I could put on baggy jeans and a sweater. Does anyone else feel this way? My mom used to say loose clothing looked better on me and made me look tiny, maybe that has something to do with it.

I just feel kinda crazy.

---

[Help] Where do you buy your clothes? (Fuck vanity sizing)
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 16:57:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4thwet/where_do_you_buy_your_clothes_fuck_vanity_sizing/
---
Right now I'm wearing a skirt that is extra small from wet seal. But my goal weight is around ten pounds less than my current weight. I'm worried that my clothes will become loose, and I won't be able to find smaller sized clothing. I am trying to save money to put myself through college, so I don't have a lot of extra money to spend on high end clothing.

I hate vanity sizing. Extra small shirts are already too loose on me, and I'm not sure what stores I should visit. (Online suggestions are also welcome, although they would have to meet the criteria of not expensive). Please tell me where you beautiful people buy all of your clothes. <3

---

[Thinspo] La petite kimiperi
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 15:32:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4thipa/la_petite_kimiperi/
---
http://i.imgur.com/oYpTIUg.jpg

---

[Discussion] Good Hunger, Bad Hunger
/u/APairofScales [5'6" | CW:Too Much | BMI:Nope| Weight Lost:Too Little | Male]
Created: Mon Jul 18 15:19:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4thgh9/good_hunger_bad_hunger/
---
Anyone else ever feel a distinction? Sometimes you're hungry but it makes you feel strong, its pleasant, liberating, yet other times you feel weak and desperate, and all you can think about is eating. What causes the distinction, do you think? Is it just a question of mood? Can we 'unlearn' the feeling of weakness that comes with being hungry?

---

[Discussion] ED article from Buzzfeed showed up on my newsfeed
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:118 | BMI:20.66 | GW:108 | F -10lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 18 14:30:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4th86a/ed_article_from_buzzfeed_showed_up_on_my_newsfeed/
---
https://www.buzzfeed.com/maggyvaneijk/tree-of-life?bffbhealth&utm_term=.hnq15NrEZw#.pha8vEQG0M

---

[Rant/Rave] I used to want an "official" diagnosis.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Mon Jul 18 14:07:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4th48o/i_used_to_want_an_official_diagnosis/
---
I used to want to have proof of what's wrong with me, on paper, because.... well, I don't know. I guess to feel validated. Somehow, having solid proof of the fact that I'm fucked up seemed like a comforting thing. But I don't know if I want that anymore. Because what if I'm not satisfied? What if I think the diagnosis is wrong? What if they tell me there isn't actually anything wrong with me and it's all in my head? What the hell will I do then?

I don't want to have BED. I don't want to be bulimic. I don't even want to be anorexic. But I can't be normal either because that scares me too much. I don't know what the fuck I want.

I wish my way of thinking was normal. I wish I hadn't been raised in a family that pressures me to eat when I'm not hungry because my "body needs nutrients at all times!" I wish not eating was an acceptable thing.

This sucks.

---

[Help] Can those of you with EDNOS/OSFED tell me about how your ED manifests?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:40:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgzmj/can_those_of_you_with_ednososfed_tell_me_about/
---
My therapist says I have an ED, but we need to talk in more detail about it to figure out a specific diagnosis. We're doing that tomorrow. I think the most likely thing for me is OSFED, and I want to know your all's experiences with it so I can judge how likely my prediction is.

---

[Tip] Low-cal options
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:30:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgxwc/lowcal_options/
---
##Safe foods:

* Apples, 75-116 calories *(depending on the size)*
* Baby carrots, 30 calories in 8
* Baby food, 20-100 calories a container *(depending on what you get)*
* Bananas, 75-120 calories per banana *(depending on size; eat after a purge to restore potassium)*
* Blueberries, 85 per cup
* Blue corn tortilla chips, 90 in 10 chips *(always read labels - my brand of tortilla chips, Don Marcos, has 130 calories in 10 chips..& it’s organic and GMO-free. Don’t believe the hype..sometimes things parading as healthy really aren’t)*
* Broccoli, 50 per cup
* Bullion, 5 a cube
* Cabbage, 40 a cup
* Celery, 6 calories a stalk
* Chicken, 80 in a drumstick & 120 in a small breast
* Crackers, about 60 in 5
* Cucumber, 10 calories per medium-sized
* Egg whites, 15 per egg
* Fat-free or sugar-free yogurt, about 80 per container
* Green beans, 70 a can
* Kiwi, 50 in one medium-sized
* Lettuce, 5 calories in 1 cup shredded
* Nonfat turkey or chicken slices, 20 per slice
* Pickles, 5 in a whole pickle
* Popcorn *(microwaved or air popped as plain kernels without toppings)*, 36 calories a cup
* Quinoa, 85 calories in 1/3 cup *(quinoa is a healthier substitute for rice)*
* Red kidney beans, 85 in 2/3 cup
* Red raspberries, 65 a cup
* Rice cakes, 15 a cake
* Salsa, 60 calories per cup *(pair up with blue corn tortilla chips)*
* Spinach *(fresh in a bag)*, 7 calories per cup
* Squash, about 20-25 a cup
* Strawberries, 45 calories a cup
* Sugar-free Jello, 20 a box
* Tea, 0 calories
* Tomato, 30 calories in one large tomato
* Tomato juice or V8, 60 calories a cup
* Watermelon, 90 calories a cup
* Whole wheat bread, 35-100 per slice *(check brands)*
* Sweet potato, 55 calories in one small sized
* Vegetable soup, about 90 in one cup
* Veggie burger or tofu burger patty, 90 calories *(without bread or dressing)*
* Yam noodles - 0 calories *(and high in fiber, so eat up)*

##Meals under 100 calories

Bacon Eggs & Toast (95)

* 2 egg whites or ¼ cup Eggbeaters (34 calories)
* 1 slice extra lean turkey bacon (20)
* 1 slice light bread (45)

Cobb Salad (95)

* 3 cups salad greens (30)
* 2 slices extra lean turkey bacon (40)
* 1 slice turkey (25)
* Walden Farms dressing (0)

Egg Salad (91)

* 3 egg whites (51)
* 1.5 tbsp fat-free mayo (15)
* 1 tbsp sweet relish (15)
* Dash of mustard (0)
* Lettuce (10)

Baked Tofu Dinner (88)

* 2 oz Tofu, marinate with soy sauce & spices (47)
* 1 cup yellow squash (21)
* ½ cup green beans (2)

Omelette (86)

* 3 egg whites (51)
* 1 slice fat-free cheese (30)
* ¼ cup mushrooms (5)

Soup & Crackers (95)

* 1 cup low-cal soup or broth of choice (70 - *check label*)
* 5 saltine crackers (60)

Oatmeal (95)

* ½ cup cooked oatmeal (75)
* 1 tsp honey (20)

Taco Salad (80)

* 3 cups salad greens (30)
* ¼ cup black beans (40)
* 1 tsp salsa (10)
* Taco Bell red sauce (0)

Tuna Salad (100)

* 2 oz tuna packed in water (60)
* 1 ½ tbsp fat-free mayo (15)
* 1 tbsp relish (15)
* 1 cup lettuce

Boca Burger & Salad (100)

* Boca Burger (70)
* 3 cup salad greens (30)
* Walden Farms dressing (0)

Sandwich & Salad (90)

* 1 slice turkey (25)
* 1 slice light bread (45)
* Mustard (0)
* 2 cups salad greens (20)
* Walden Farms dressing (0)

Tofu Fajita (95)

* 3 oz tofu (70)
* 3/4 cup peppers & onions (25)

---

[Help] Good Belly Shots + EC Stack Fast Opinions?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:28:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgxhc/good_belly_shots_ec_stack_fast_opinions/
---
I picked up some Good Belly Straight Shots (30 cal) for my weak stomach. I heard good things about it and how it helps regulate your digestive system.

There's 12 day program with them: http://12day.goodbelly.com/ that would be perfect to do a fast.

I'm planning to do a fast with these shots as well as going back on my EC stack. I want to get better at taking my EC Stack, I felt like I was avoiding taking pills because I didn't want to get addicted, but I do realize how great I felt with taking the stack regularly.

So today I took one Straight Shot then 30 min later I went to on my run. I took one Primatene with a sugar free Red Bull. My stomach is all achey and weird (which is typical with the product) but I'm wondering if these is a good idea?

Any help would good! Thanks :)

---

[Rant/Rave] Frustrated after spending time with my big sis
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:21:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgw6g/frustrated_after_spending_time_with_my_big_sis/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] What's everyone's favorite body parts?
/u/littlestpiglet [5'2" | CW: 102.2 | 18.69/19.36 | UGW: 98 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:05:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgthu/whats_everyones_favorite_body_parts/
---
I think we all spend a lot of time focusing on the parts of our bodies that we don't like and want to change most, but I'm curious to know which of your body parts do you like most?

For me, I absolutely hate my stomach, but I think I've got nice shoulders, nice legs (well, from mid-thigh down), and I love how skinny my wrists are.

What about you guys?

---

[Discussion] Losertown
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 12:56:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgrtp/losertown/
---
Hey

I was just interested to hear how other people use the calorie counter on losertown. Because I normally have the calculations set to 'couch potato' you know as a worst case, but I actually walk a minimum of 10k per day as well as the occasional gym session, so I don't know if I could maybe set it to 1-3 times a week light exercise? has anyone else set it to this rate and found it to be accurate?

---

[Goal] Size 00!! Does anyone know if Garage does vanity sizing?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Mon Jul 18 12:43:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgpok/size_00_does_anyone_know_if_garage_does_vanity/
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http://imgur.com/FNIpPXK

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[Rant/Rave] Got a huge compliment from a teammate
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Mon Jul 18 12:12:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgk10/got_a_huge_compliment_from_a_teammate/
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So I can't share my joy with anyone else because I'd probably sound crazy to my friends, but yesterday one of the fellow wrestlers in my organization gave me a huge compliment.

We were shooting promo videos and I had to wear a tiny 60s fembot outfit rather than my normal costume cause of green screen (I normally wear green robo tights). I worked hard all week restricting, fasting, water cut, etc and it showed.

Later in the night, I was alone with one of the girls who is also pretty small compared to the others and who I've always admired since I joined this year. She asked if I worked out since I looked phenomenal and confessed that since I joined I'm her thinspo in that I made her realize she need to step up her game. Whatttttttt. I was on cloud 9. I lied and said I work out all the time when I good well know I've been restricting to much to exercise in this heat all week. Whatever she bought it. Top that off with breaking through 120 finally to 119.4 and yesterday was a really good day!

A little nervous to see how the videos turn out since I couldn't see what I was doing, but thank God it's over! I missed fruit and beans. Also think I need to repeat whatever I did this week to prep for weeks we have shows as well cause I lost 4 lbs (mostly water weight but shhhh).

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[Goal] It may not seem like much, but I love my stomach tody!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 11:39:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgdzh/it_may_not_seem_like_much_but_i_love_my_stomach/
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http://i.imgur.com/Ldzn7LY.jpg

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[Help] Been in recovery since last year, but I'm still not happy or okay with myself.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 10:45:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tg3x1/been_in_recovery_since_last_year_but_im_still_not/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I'm this to a 20 inch waist but i keep binging and fucking up
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 10:43:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tg3im/im_this_to_a_20_inch_waist_but_i_keep_binging_and/
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I didn't eat a thing yesterday. I felt so good. But literally every day of the week before, I binged. I was 94.5 pounds on Saturday (might've been water weight, I was 91 the morning after). I don't know how, but I actually lost half a pound from my last week's weigh in.

It's driving me mad. I've been at 20.5 inches at my waist for three weeks now. Three weeks! I just want that half an inch to fall off. I want to cut it off. Fuck.

I've been having some really bad thoughts lately. Thoughts about walking into traffic. And wandering around sketchy places at 3 in the morning with only my phone. About wanting to be 77 pounds.

I'm such a fuck.

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[Other] high-school athletes
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Mon Jul 18 10:38:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tg2lw/highschool_athletes/
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The cross country / track team is freaking out right now because our coach just asked everyone to use MFP to log their meals.

"I have to track *everything?*"

Yes. Welcome to my world, friends.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 18 10:03:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfw3g/daily_food_diary_july_18_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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Tfw you just binged on a billion calories and all of a sudden a super skinny person walks near you
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 09:33:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfqsm/tfw_you_just_binged_on_a_billion_calories_and_all/
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http://imgur.com/a8qQSxB

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[Intro] I'm 28 and feel too old to be here, but this place comforts me everyday when I read your posts
/u/thinkerbell219 [5'2"| 145 | 26.5 |-12 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 09:24:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfp3i/im_28_and_feel_too_old_to_be_here_but_this_place/
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Hi- I've been lurking on this subreddit for several months. You guys seem like the nicest, most encouraging group.

I always had a disordered relationship with food and as a young teen heavily restricted my intake. As I got older, I was more of a binge eater and used food as a source of emotional comfort. I was never super overweight but I really didn't like my body and tried every diet fad to no avail.

Last year, my life completely fell apart when I found out my husband was an addict. We just got married shortly before and it completely made me spiral. I've spent about the last year trying to help him through recovery (and several relapses) and put our marriage back together.

I'm ashamed to say that in the six months following the discovery of his addiction I gained about 20 lbs.

About 8 months ago I woke up and realized I needed to have control over something in my life and figured my own body was probably about the only thing I could control.

It started out by counting calories, but I've become very obsessed with my food intake and my calories burned. I've begun chewing and spitting as a way to prevent binges because I don't have the courage to purge.

I really want to like my body. I'm 5'2" and my current goal is 115. It's taking a long time and it's discouraging.

My therapist suggested I probably have some disordered eating or eating disorder but I just feel old, fat and depressed. What's the diagnosis on that? Ha.

We'll thanks for reading and I'm looking forward to participating here.

Cheers

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[Goal] NSV I fit into my pants
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 09:14:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfngo/nsv_i_fit_into_my_pants/
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Back in May when I was even more of a disgusting cow than I am now there was a day where I put on a pair of pants I was hoping were a little stretchy so that I would be able to wear them, but tightly. Apparently I was wrong because as soon as I bent over they tore a large hole around the ass. I cried, vowed to restrict as much as possible, and then cut up the pieces to use in my rat cage. Well those pants happened to be one of two that I had in different colors. This morning I put on the non-torn up pair and they fit! Now, they aren't perfect, and they were a pair that I wasn't exactly happy with before, but at least now I'm back to where I was before everything went down with my aunt and I ballooned up with no control. I've got control now, well for the most part, EC stacks have been awesome. Just putting those pants on this morning gave me confidence for the week that I'll be able to stay in control, and it feels pretty good. So far no calories for the day!

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[Thinspo] Thinspo from a few of my favorite artists
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 08:00:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfbiw/thinspo_from_a_few_of_my_favorite_artists/
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https://imgur.com/a/N8WQn

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[Rant/Rave] Starting my first ever fast today...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 07:13:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tf4rm/starting_my_first_ever_fast_today/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] 1200+cal in the Chili's Turtle Brownie skillet. LOL I took 5 bites, kill me now
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jul 18 06:56:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tf2cm/1200cal_in_the_chilis_turtle_brownie_skillet_lol/
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I did so fucking good yesterday until the above said title.

Saturday I had fasted, and I've been living off 300 cals or lower for about three weeks. I broke my fast Sunday morning with half an apple. By the time we got into town, I was pretty ravenous. We were passing pizza and sushi places driving to Chili's, and I was literally in tears I was so hungry. I had already pre-decided what to get, and it came in at about 100 cal. I ate that, chugged water, and I was full. I was satisfied, I was FINE. Then my boyfriend ordered that desert for himself, and told me I could have some. I was like "oh, this will be like 700cal, if I take two bites I'll be fine" Well, two turned into five, so I looked up the cals and omg I wish I hadn't. 1249cal. For one fucking tiny ass skillet of brownie, and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Lord have fucking mercy on my fat ass soul.

Sooo, then ensued a b/p session of Chinese food for dinner after clothes shopping because I felt like shit. I had two medium plates of food and sushi.

Lets just say don't throw up sushi. Ugh, so gross.

110.8 this morning, and Saturday I weighed 108.0

Yay...

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[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! July 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 18 06:03:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4teulx/weekly_stats_update_july_18_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 18, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Help] help?? made kale chips, they weigh nothing...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 05:44:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tes3u/help_made_kale_chips_they_weigh_nothing/
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made a large batch of kale crisps/chips from a huge bag of kale, after they came out of the oven the entire thing weighed less than 10g, yet there's still so much volume... according to google, 10g kale has 5 calories, so is there really only 5 calories in all this or will it still have the caloric/carb content of the original bag full bag since all it did was shrink/lose water?

idk if i'm coming across as stupid and paranoid but some1 help me out omg

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[Thinspo] I like the way these jeans are fitting :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 05:38:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tere5/i_like_the_way_these_jeans_are_fitting/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/59117ba8ace14078b47e244647af31e9?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=bc21061ee377c4d4298fbc0fd3a92506

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[Rant/Rave] Family and Weight Loss
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 04:35:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tejwx/family_and_weight_loss/
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[deleted]

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[Tip] Planning to fast today, so I made these 0 cal ice tea lollies to get me through the day!
/u/kuffe [185cm | CW: 69.9g | BMI: 20.3 | -26kg | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 03:00:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4te9xh/planning_to_fast_today_so_i_made_these_0_cal_ice/
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https://imgur.com/a/jLU15

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[Thinspo] Monday inspiration.
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: 2fat4me | GW: 121 | UGW: 108 | F22]
Created: Mon Jul 18 02:09:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4te4zm/monday_inspiration/
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http://m.imgur.com/YtbZ7sz

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[Goal] Progress pics? 😫💀
/u/123Purrr [5'8" | 123 | 18.5 | F/24]
Created: Mon Jul 18 00:54:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdwn1/progress_pics/
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http://imgur.com/ntwbX1a

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Collar bones, chest plate, and a thigh gap in progress?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 18 00:42:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdv7g/collar_bones_chest_plate_and_a_thigh_gap_in/
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http://imgur.com/d3mLJld

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[Rant/Rave] DAE have to eat in front of a significant other to keep them not worried?
/u/zaniathin [CW 163.8 | BMI 29.82 | GW1 140 | -5.2 lbs | 22/F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 23:06:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdj2e/dae_have_to_eat_in_front_of_a_significant_other/
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My fiance knows about my ED that I "recovered" from in university (was diagnosed when I was 13 with ED-NOS which I have seen is called something else now and became "recovered" around age 19) and he knows that even though its been a few years since then, he has to watch me which has been help in staying recovered for a long time.

But ever since I decided I didn't want to be "recovered" AKA "feel awful every second of the day about my body and lack of control over the one thing I know I can do right", I've been restricting secretly during the week and eating normal-ish meals during the weekend when we eat together.

I hate it. I absolutely despise it. I get away with dinners during the week because I claim I have extra food in my fridge or I'm not super hungry because my day has been so long but during the weekends we typically eat out a lot and he makes comments any time I don't eat a full meal.

I don't want him suspicious but I don't want to feel so awful and angry at myself all the time. I hate being where I am right now. I see whats on my body and I wonder how he even fell in love with me at all or how he's attracted to me. He's in good shape, is gorgeous, and kind hearted, and then there's me.

Basically a long rant to say I'm so ready for our short time of being separate (geographically) so that I can restrict without worrying about being watched or micromanaged about my food. But I will miss him!

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[Discussion] Typical day of binge eating/bulimia
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Sun Jul 17 22:58:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdhx7/typical_day_of_binge_eatingbulimia/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Zd5x3RcZmc

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[Discussion] I made it all day at just 500 calories!!
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 22:11:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdbi0/i_made_it_all_day_at_just_500_calories/
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[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Sooo happyyyy! (Goal! Happy surprise!)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 17 22:10:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdbcx/sooo_happyyyy_goal_happy_surprise/
---
[deleted]

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[Intro] I'm back :c
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 22:00:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tda12/im_back_c/
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I can't do this anymore. Gained 3 Ibs and I just binged. I just feel so unhappy with myself. Food never leaves my mind and it consumes my every thought. I know it sounds crazy but I wish I was broke or homeless or something so I couldnt access food. Its ruining my life and I cant talk to anyone in person about it which is so incredibly isolating. I want to be small forever, because if I am not small then I wont be pretty, and the only thing I have to offer are my looks. I am not interesting, smart, funny, talented, or anything. I am just moderately pretty on a good day when I try incredibly hard. My boyfriend hasn't realized how empty my mind is or how bland my personality is or even how awkward I am in bed because he thinks I am pretty. Somehow he has managed to look past everything wrong with me, but i know one day he will find another girl who has similar looks but actually has something in her head to offer. It just kills me inside. I need to look my best and be skinny or I might as well be dead.

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Sometimes I think I look 'thin' other times 20 lbs more to lose seems still too little
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 17 21:21:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4td4if/sometimes_i_think_i_look_thin_other_times_20_lbs/
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http://m.imgur.com/a/VkjfG

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[Intro] I've lost my control
/u/blondebynature [5'3" | CW 136 | GW 90 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 21:05:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4td2i8/ive_lost_my_control/
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Hi everyone!
I subscribed here ages ago but decided to come back and put a post here after what happened to me yesterday. I don't know who to turn to and you all seem so nice and supportive and I just feel the need to vent for a bit.

I guess I've always had a bit of an obsession with food (no diagnosis though). I have no control around food, I never have. Whenever there is anything (and I mean anything) available I will eat all of it in the shortest time possible. So I've always made sure I controlled what food was in the house and it was ok. About 2 and a half years ago I weighed 41kgs. I wasn't unhappy with how I looked but I was so unhealthy and I was sick all of the time. I then moved back to Australia and vowed to work on my health. I stopped smoking, stopped using drugs, started weights training and threw out my scale so I would stop being so obsessive about my weight. It was hard but I had moved in with my boyfriend, started an internship, started uni and had my family and friends back so I had enough to distract me.

Fast forward to yesterday: I went into hospital for surgery (just tooth removal nothing drastic) where they weighed me and the nurse said it out loud before I could stop her. 61.5kg!!!! I couldn't believe it. I went home and stared at myself in the mirror. I've lost my collar bones and my thigh gap and everything else I used to be so proud of. *Imagine swollen faced woman bawling in a ball on the bathroom floor* How did I let this happen? How could I not notice sooner? I feel like I've lost myself if that makes any sense. I want my control back but I'm scared I don't know how anymore.

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[Discussion] How do skinny people without EDs stay skinny?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 20:38:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcyjn/how_do_skinny_people_without_eds_stay_skinny/
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Especially in the US. Resisting all the junk food here takes so much willpower that I don't know if I could do it without my disordered thinking. Like, I feel like it takes at least *some* "disordered" thinking and behavior to maintain a BMI of below 20 (which isn't super skinny, but it's hard to maintain a weight that low, IMO). They would need to count calories, keep a food journal, and almost obsess over food since it takes obsession to combat the horrible food in the US. I'm sure the percentage of people with a naturally low appetite and preference for only healthy foods is very, very low. So the ~25% of people in the US who aren't overweight or obese HAVE to be trying to maintain a low weight. Or just in their twenties, in the high healthy range, slowly gaining weight from high school because that's how things usually go. But they'll end up fat eventually. Maybe it's exactly my disordered thinking that makes me think this, but I feel like it's inevitable to become fat in America unless you at least moderately obsess over food and your weight. Thoughts?

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[Thinspo] Here's some reverse thinspo for you all, coming from your resident fatass. Hopefully in a few months I can update with a before and after.
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 20:19:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcvp9/heres_some_reverse_thinspo_for_you_all_coming/
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https://66.media.tumblr.com/cf22097fe4415e4ceb2037634a67d4c8/tumblr_oahncnKJsn1siz4h6o1_1280.jpg

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[Discussion] What's the biggest binge you've ever had??
/u/thinwin [5'1.8 | CW: 112.2 | UGW: 100 | BMI: 20.7 | -5lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Jul 17 19:28:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcny9/whats_the_biggest_binge_youve_ever_had/
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I usually eat between 1,400- 2,000 calories on a binge day, and I was wondering if this was the norm for everyone else. I'm sorry if this is too personal, I'm just curious is all❤️

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[Discussion] ACV diet?
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 19:25:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcnkh/acv_diet/
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I've heard of apple cider vinegar being used for weight loss by seemingly healthy or overweight people but wanted to know how it worked for us proED people specifically- is it all a sham (anything claiming to "detox" your body earns my skepticism tbh) or has it helped with your fat metabolism/weight loss?

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[Other] 22 Cal Tofu Dumplings!
/u/not_an_actual_egg [5'3" | 126lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 18:11:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcch6/22_cal_tofu_dumplings/
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I made these today and I'm in love <3 Each dumpling is 22 calories. I like to eat 4 of them in a cup of reduced sodium chicken broth (10) and a splash of reduced sodium soy sauce (~2). A super simple dinner of just 100 cals :)

Ingredients:

* 6.8 oz drained firm tofu (157)

* 1.7 oz carrots, finely chopped (19)

* 3 oz cabbage, chopped (21)

* 25 g green onion, chopped (8)

* few sprigs of cilantro (0)

* Clove of garlic, minced (4)

* 57 g white mushrooms, finely chopped (9)

* 1 tbsp reduced sodium soy sauce (5)

* ~43 wonton wrappers (717) ((I used Friedas brand, which is 50 cals per 3 wrappers. Make sure to read the wrapper info, as different wrappers have different nutrition values))

* Salt and Pepper

Put the chopped cabbage in a bowl and sprinkle with salt. Mix and let set for 5 minutes, then squeeze out the water. Dice the drained tofu into 1/8 in. pieces. (Make sure your tofu is very very drained!) Toss the tofu into the cabbage and add the rest of the vegetables, as well as the soy sauce. Add salt and pepper, and mix thoroughly. If you find that your mix is very wet, squeeze out the extra liquid. I was lazy and let my mix set overnight in the fridge.

Assembly is really simple- just lay out a wonton, put about 1/2 tbsp of filling in the middle, wet the edges with water, and wrap however you want. A super simple way is to just fold them in half and pinch the edges to seal. I like to portion everything exactly, so I measured ~8 grams of filling per wrapper. This got me about 43 dumplings, but YMMV. I folded my wontons pretty much like [this](http://tarasmulticulturaltable.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/pancit-molo-1024x493.jpg) (not pic of recipe), but you can fold them however you want. To cook, just toss them in a pot of boiling water until they float to the top, and then for about a minute longer. You don't have to cook them bc there's raw meat, you're really just cooking them to soften the veggies and cook the wontons.

Since this recipe makes so much, I laid them (uncooked) out onto a baking tray and froze them for a couple hours, then tossed them into a ziplock bag. They freeze really well and the cooking process is the same, just a tad longer.

Feel free to comment if you have any questions, especially if something was unclear! I'm happy to help :)

<3

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[Rant/Rave] Dealing with the "you look too skinny" comments and small rant about how everyone is an expert on "healthy"
/u/PermaFriday [5'3|111|19.7|27lbs|F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 18:09:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcc2z/dealing_with_the_you_look_too_skinny_comments_and/
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I've said this a couple times on this sub in the past but when I started losing weight, I got so many compliments. Compliments I didn't get 30pounds ago... I started feeling great about myself and loved my thinner figure. The same people who compliment me on my weight would freak out if they knew how I reached it and then I'd "need help." I set my goal weight from 105-110 and today weighed at 111. At about 115 I started getting the "you need to eat" "you look too skinny" comments from some people. I just wanted to kind of post about how kind of... people just don't get it? And how I'm dealing with those comments without sacrificing my new size that I love.


I noticed thats since I dropped the weight so quickly a lot of my clothes fit very poorly. I mean gone down about 4 sizes, my shorts were falling off and my dresses looked like baggy sacks. So I went and bought properly fitting clothes and noticed right after I started wearing those, the "too skinny" "unhealthy" comments became fewer and farther in between. Then I started telling people I was gaining a pound here or there when I hadn't. "Good! I'm glad! You look much healthier!" Do I? Because I'm actually 1 pound down. My clothes just fit now...


So I'm just thinking how ridiculous it is that it seems people were claiming I looked "unhealthy" because my clothes were so baggy but once I got some that fit, I went back to being, "healthy." I got bras that fit (my boobs lost weight too, I'm actually sad about that) so now they have more lift that doesn't make my sternum look as boney. Nothing about my body has changed though and yet people are satisfied I'm "healthier."


I just really think people should stop using that word "healthy" so loosely like they're suddenly a nutritionist. Someone shoving fast food in their face calling me unhealthy pisses me off more than anything.


I've also been pointing out that my grandmother who's french is one of the tiniest women ever (naturally). She's like 5'0, about 90lbs wet and couldn't gain weight if she wanted. Then suddenly, "oh yeah, the French are such skinny people!"


People aren't experts. It's ridiculous.

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[Help] [Help] Quick question for my veg*n pals
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Sun Jul 17 17:48:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tc8p0/help_quick_question_for_my_vegn_pals/
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Is it bad form to use chicken broth in my veggie stew? I was at the store and couldn't find any vegetable broth. I admit I was feeling lazy so I just bought the chicken one and was done with it. I just finished making the soup and I'm feeling a bit guilty, but I don't want it to go to waste. What would you guys do?

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[Thinspo] I have a slightly better body image, I can see my muscle indents! (Just noticed how bad my tan has gotten 😂)
/u/thinwin [5'1.8 | CW: 112.2 | UGW: 100 | BMI: 20.7 | -5lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Jul 17 16:30:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tbwzf/i_have_a_slightly_better_body_image_i_can_see_my/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/f074f8fc941e4caebfbeb1b8a389d300?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e7f6fdd0c145b9981b96aa5fd2f8c82b

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[Help] New stretch marks, increased appetite, body dysmorphia problems, what's going on? :(
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 15:22:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tbn1j/new_stretch_marks_increased_appetite_body/
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I have new red stretch marks on my top abdomen, right under my heart. I smeared aloe vera gel right on top as soon as I saw it. Will exfoliate later tonight.

Stopped my EC Stack due to forgetting -- I never do well with pills -- so after I saw my stretch marks, I ate sandwich with Sara Lee's 45 Whole Wheat bread, Justin's maple almond butter packet and a quarter of banana, with two strips of veggie bacon at 365 calories ALL FOR BREAKFAST. Why is my appetite like this .___.

I'm also on my period so I don't know if that has to do with anything?

I also feel like I'm not seeing anything. I still feel huge and gross but I know I'm going to regret buying a scale. I know that'll just be permission for me to binge if I see any loss but as well as disappointment if I gain weight from drinking water. I also know that any cheating will obviously be evident on my body so I'm very careful with what I eat. I try not to have oil, sodium or anything that will make my body too acidic. It's just very scary because I don't feel any different from eating a normal diet.

I don't know what to do and I feel so hopeless. Any advise would be helpful!

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[Meme/Humor] Me looking at pics from two months ago
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Jul 17 14:56:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tbizd/me_looking_at_pics_from_two_months_ago/
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http://i.imgur.com/tNNbHGA.jpg

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[Discussion] How do y'all focus and get sh*t done while restricting?
/u/HiccupKitten [5'4" I 110.8 I 19.0 I -5 lbs I F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 13:30:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tb4xk/how_do_yall_focus_and_get_sht_done_while/
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Is it just straight discipline, or do you have little tricks you use?

I'm trying to manage grad school, a cafe job, finances, my passions of writing and art, all while dealing with the head fuzzies of restriction. For a while doing IF made me focus, and only after eating would I lose concentration.

Advice? Help? Motivating words on how y'all manage?

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[Rant/Rave] The cafe in the library is closed...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 17 12:29:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tav0d/the_cafe_in_the_library_is_closed/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Anyone here afraid that their SO will leave them when they reach their UGW? [rant]
/u/sunkindonut149
Created: Sun Jul 17 11:52:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tap3f/anyone_here_afraid_that_their_so_will_leave_them/
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My fiance, who I've been with for a number of years, is seriously getting into my face about weight loss because we met when I was 200 lbs.

He says you're not a model, you're too old to be a model and you're never going to be a model. This pushes me to work harder. I told him Tyra would like for women on her show to be 5'9" and 115 - and they're perfectly healthy.

Why can't people just be happy for the body types that their SOs prefer? Plenty of women under 5'4" are under 100 lbs. I don't understand why we "have" to be curvy if we're not "naturally thin". I don't want to hear real women have curves and you don't want to look like a little boy. I've worked so hard (insert the Linkin Park song "In The End").

I don't want him to forcefeed me more than 300 calories a day. I'm trying *not* to purge. I've gotten back into self harm because he made me eat more. I hate how people try to cockblock hardcore dieters and make me go for "fitspo" "curvy" "respect ur body". I hate how people tell me that Kate Moss is a drug addict and that it's not 1984.

I hate how people tell me I'm going to die because I want to be 80 or less, and because I'm over 30 I "can't" because I've "never". There is always another mountain to climb. There will be nothing in my way; I will endure until the end.

I've also gotten static from childhood friends who treated me as the fat, celibate security guard. in my early 20s.

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[Rant/Rave] I'm done taking orders from fucking potatoes
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Sun Jul 17 11:04:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tahe1/im_done_taking_orders_from_fucking_potatoes/
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Woke up down a pound from yesterday. I was empty from dancing all night last night and felt great. Started the day out with some frozen grapes and an extra lean turkey sausage (110 cals and 15g protein, helllooo)

Then, the quietness/boredom set in and I found myself getting dressed to head down the road to this little diner place that does these amazing garlic potatoes. That back-and-forth agonizing dialogue set in. I HATE that part. So I ran the scenario through my head:

I'll go to the shop, pick them up and probably something else shitty and greasy. I'll come home, eat them, probably end up turning it into a full blown binge. I'll go to the corner store and spend money I don't have on shit I don't need so I can flush it all down the drain in 15 minutes. I'll look in the mirror and hate myself and vow to do better tomorrow.

Then it hit me. This is the moment where I can break the cycle. I'm a fucking sentient being, a god damned potato has no power over me. I have a choice in this. Yes, this cycle might have gone on for many years, but I have the power to end it. So here I am, sipping ice water happily instead of drowning in regret.

Today is a good day.

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[Meme/Humor] After a bad binge...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 17 10:15:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta9r7/after_a_bad_binge/
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https://i.redd.it/zwk3say4ot9x.jpg

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 17 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta7r3/daily_food_diary_july_17_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Discussion] Binging At Breakfast
/u/APairofScales [5'6" | CW:Too Much | BMI:Nope| Weight Lost:Too Little | Male]
Created: Sun Jul 17 09:55:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta6ox/binging_at_breakfast/
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Anyone else here have a problem with binging at breakfast? I seem to have a fear of being hungry during the day, and I've often been eating at least two meals worth of food as soon as I get up. I'm also not a morning person, so my mind isn't fully awake to say 'NO'. I've had my caloric goal for the day ruined within a half our of getting out of bed. Anyone else experience this, or have suggestions on dealing with it?

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[Rant/Rave] I just purged
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Jul 17 09:23:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta203/i_just_purged/
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After so long being free. I binged first this morning, excercised a LOT like I normally do then I binged again an hour ago and purged.

I need to be in bikini in two weeks, I went from 68 to 54 to 62 kgs and I feel too fucking terrible to even think about it.

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[Rant/Rave] Every time I wake up with food in my stomach...
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 09:18:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta19z/every_time_i_wake_up_with_food_in_my_stomach/
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... I feel like a failure. I feel swollen everywhere. I feel pain in my stomach. I feel miserable.

A sane person would stop eating before bed. Not me. Because I'm not normal. I'm allergic to everything, I have sensory issues, I dont relate to anyone, and I'm not entirely sure I'm even the same species as others. I certainly don't seem fit to survive on the same planet.

Waking up with food in my stomach makes me feel alone. Because no one would possibly understand how much of a piece of weak, powerless shit it makes me. They would just tell me to get over it or talk to my (useless) therapist. I just want to be normal. Hating food isn't normal. I've hated it all my life. I love it so much that I despise it. And that makes me sound like a privileged whiny twat. I dont want to want food. I'm very close to buying Primatine. I need to shock my body put of this cycle and ban carbs again. They are the devil. They are my personal demon assigned to tempt me, put me in pain, and ultimately give me diabetes.

I hate this. I want my power back. I dont even know if I logged everything I ate last night. Sure, it was maintenance or less, but it was shit food. I can't do this. This is how I failed last time and gained 60 lbs in 9 mos. My food addiction. The only way to fix it is to quit eating. And I can't because I have a physically demanding work trip this week. Uggggh.

I woke up with Nobody Loves Me by the Sneaker Pimps in my head. My eyes hadn't even opened yet, and that's the greeting my brain gave me. Sometimes I feel like my subconscious is a separate entity that wants to punish me. How can I have control over something with "sub" in its very name?

Those size 4s I bought yesterday are of no consolation. They will be a snapshot of the smallest adult body will allow for and remind me that there is no way my body will ever go under 130 without kicking, screaming, spitting, and biting. It's a nasty bitch. My subconscious's name is Failure.

Time to go put coffee in a stomach that already feels filled with glass.

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[Discussion] Do you weigh more on your period?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 08:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9y23/do_you_weigh_more_on_your_period/
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Is it like having water weight or something? want to weigh myself but worried I'll end up panicking over nonsense numbers.

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[Other] [Possible Trigger Warning (?): Junk Food] When you get sick satisfaction from organizing your binge drawer and not eating anything
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 08:52:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9xgd/possible_trigger_warning_junk_food_when_you_get/
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http://imgur.com/7dcvvD8

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When you have a "binge drawer" [Trigger Warning(?): junk food]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 17 08:50:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9x5q/when_you_have_a_binge_drawer_trigger_warning_junk/
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http://imgur.com/OHjBJ1t

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[Thinspo] I love waking up to an empty tummy <3
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 07:58:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9q8t/i_love_waking_up_to_an_empty_tummy_3/
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https://imgur.com/a/6IRzm

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[Help] confusion: how much would you say this guy weighs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 17 06:54:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9ili/confusion_how_much_would_you_say_this_guy_weighs/
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so i know this guy isn't exactly ~thinspo~ as such but i would die to look like him ;-;

he's almost exactly the same height as me and tbh we have a similar body type (???) so he's kinda like, a more realistic 'thinspo' for me than the usual skin-and-bones tumblr guys that i have no idea how tall they are and would have to literally be at death's door to look like w/ my large completely gross frame (ignore me sorry i'm rambling)

http://imgur.com/a/C1NZR one site says he's 165 lbs, one says he's 175, but i def think he's a bit lower (he's 6'3). can anyone guesstimate how much he weighs? (fyi if you want to see more of his pics just google dan howell l m a o)

thankssssss

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[Rant/Rave] I gained back all the weight I lost when I did a 94 hour water fast :(
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Sun Jul 17 03:47:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t916a/i_gained_back_all_the_weight_i_lost_when_i_did_a/
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It was my brother's birthday a few days ago so I ate around 2000-3000 cals (probably overestimating) a day for like 3-4 days.

I feel so bad :( all my hard work...gone, just like that. On top of that, I accidentally told my brother's gf about my ED while I was drunk. Now I feel like eating in front of her is me being a huge liar.

I'm starting the ABC diet tomorrow (on a Monday) and I'm also gonna try and start working out everyday for at least a week or two. It's probably unrealistic but I need to have some plans for myself or else I'll go fucking mental. Sigh.

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[Other] A modeling agent stopped me to give me their business card at the grocery store today.
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Sat Jul 16 23:31:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t8dcf/a_modeling_agent_stopped_me_to_give_me_their/
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This is the second time this has happened this week 💕 The more I lose the more of this type of attention I get and I love the shit out of it, especially because it's not sexual lol.

Okay, now that I've sounded conceited enough, that's all I'll share haha.

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Today I got back into self harm because my BF said I don't have Candice Swanepoel type legs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 22:02:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t82vx/today_i_got_back_into_self_harm_because_my_bf/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Just excited with no one to talk to...
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 21:48:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t817y/just_excited_with_no_one_to_talk_to/
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I went shopping. This woman who appeared in my age demographic was also there. She was taller than me. Her upper arms were the size of my humerus (upper arm bone). So tiny. I have no idea what she looked like otherwise. Just that she had on a thin white knit sweater and the tiniest little skinny arms I've seen in months.

Why is this so exciting? Why do I love BONES so much? God. It was so hard not to stare at her arms. But I didn't. I just have this little snapshot in my head.

I fucking love IRL thinspo. Fuck.

I also bought size 4 fancypants. I'm going to ignore that I weigh the same as when I was 17, at which time I wore size ELEVEN, and pretend that that beautiful 4 really means 4. I love 4 apparently. My UGW was 104 for a long time. My "attainable" goal is 114. I've never given 4 much consideration, but I'm starting to notice a pattern here.....hmm.....

The chandelier in my 2nd floor hall hits my chest with light in such a way that it exaggerates the appearance of my chest bones. It's fucking ridiculous and I love it.

One of these days, hipbones....I will see you jut out like my sternum. In any light.

A LOT of shit has been happening. I don't know what I was doing. So much stress. But I am back. Back to counting. Back to shrinking. Fuck fat.

Edit: Flare is outdated. Been stuck at 129# for a while.

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How do I control myself?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 21:36:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7zmf/how_do_i_control_myself/
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[removed]

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[Intro] Hi!
/u/Throwingupwater
Created: Sat Jul 16 20:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7uko/hi/
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Hey guys. I frequent this subreddit but never really posted. Feeling like I need to find a new outlet so here goes.
I've been struggling for about 7-8 years. I use to be pretty big (close to 180 at my highest?), lost between 50-60 lbs, gained a bunch back. I just weighed myself out of frustration and I'm currently 155 =\ I'm not as terribly unhappy as I use to be, but I know I'm still struggling. I would say I am 0% happy with how I look right now, but I've reached a weird apathetic stage where I'm not really crying over it, but I would rather avoid myself at all costs. Anyway, I wanted to start posting, so here I am! Hopefully I will be more active ^_^

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So, I'm going on a fast starting tomorrow 7/17 through 7/23 anyone willing to join!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 20:51:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7two/so_im_going_on_a_fast_starting_tomorrow_717/
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[removed]

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[Discussion] No matter how much weight I loose I feel like I look the same. Anyone else?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 20:10:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7oms/no_matter_how_much_weight_i_loose_i_feel_like_i/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7oms/no_matter_how_much_weight_i_loose_i_feel_like_i/

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[Rant/Rave] I Feel Like I can't Find the Control I Once Had
/u/ivywinter
Created: Sat Jul 16 20:10:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7om0/i_feel_like_i_cant_find_the_control_i_once_had/
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Hi everyone, long time lurker but first time posting.

Back in my late teens early 20s, i was diagnosed with anorexia. At my lowest weight, i was 90lbs (I'm 5'2). That took about a year to reach and granted, i wasnt exactly a happy person then. I was always hungry and pretty bitchy. I don't exactly want that, but here i am, almost 30, and 116 pounds and i know, i KNOW a lot of you will tell me "thats not fat at all" but its more than i ever was. Even when i recovered i was 110-ish for YEARS. its only in the past 2 years or so ive been 116. And everytime i say im going to restrict, im going to invoke the willpower i once had to get to 110 and stay there, i just fuck up. I feel like i don't know how to tap into the self-control i once had. the older i get, the more i am concerned about metabolism, and the more i want to work away some of this fat i feel i have. But i don't know how to have the same control i used to. I think this is partial asking for advice, partial venting. I just am so frustrated. I also suffer from IBS, i have for about 3+ years now, and you would think that would make it easier to just not eat a lot of things but instead i do and then i feel sick 3-4 days a week because of my stomach. I feel like an idiot sometimes, that i cant lose weight and that i don't even limit my choices for my IBS.

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[Discussion] Im too fat to have a problem
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 19:59:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7n9o/im_too_fat_to_have_a_problem/
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Is what I keep hearing. Im too embarrassed to say how much I weigh up here but technically even though I've lost 50+ pounds Im still pretty big. But anyway, I keep getting told Im too big to have an eating disorder but Im kind of happy about that because people don't notice that after ever meal I run to the bathroom or, I just don't eat. I went 7 days without eating and no one noticed.

But my point is, theres still a stigma around how much someone should "weigh" to be sick and thats how a lot of people go under the radar and end up dying. Its terrible.

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Back to emotional binging - shit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 19:49:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7lw6/back_to_emotional_binging_shit/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] Small accomplishments
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 19:28:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7j1r/small_accomplishments/
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though i'm still nowhere near where i want to be, today i weighed in and realized that i had officially lost 10 pounds. i've been trying so hard and i feel good about it, but i still need to lose 50 more. i'm going to try fasting until someone notices what's up, but still, kind of proud of myself so far, even though physically i don't see any difference.
i'm too embarrassed to say my current weight (i'm a whale) but i'm 10 pounds closer to my goal!

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[Discussion] What are your favorite low cal frozen meals?
/u/ALonelySeaCucumber [5'6" | CW 152.8 GW 110 | 24.7 | -7.2 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 19:20:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7hun/what_are_your_favorite_low_cal_frozen_meals/
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I'm going on a grocery store run tomorrow and my goal is to eat 2 frozen meals that average less than or about 300 calories each. Does anyone have recommendations?

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[Goal] I'm not where I want to be, but I am so glad that I am not where I used to be :)
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 18:40:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7cjd/im_not_where_i_want_to_be_but_i_am_so_glad_that_i/
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http://i.imgur.com/9EFabTe.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] I officially have no friends and I voluntarily purged for the first time, in a public restroom.
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 18:39:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7cgt/i_officially_have_no_friends_and_i_voluntarily/
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Trying to make this short. Had best friends A and B, knew A in middle school when I was anorexic, gained weight in junior high and met B. B's fat and once said A looks anorexic and I told her you can't say that to someone since it's serious. I asked A why she didn't say anything when she knew I struggled with an ED before and she said she literally didn't know I did. I TOLD HER AND BEGGED HER NOT TO TELL MY MOM A YEAR BEFORE. We had a falling out because of that, and she doesn't remember? So I stopped hanging out with them, then in 9th grade we reconciled. I missed a lot of school that year and came back and told them it was because I was diagnosed with depression. A never really followed up, B didn't ask me about it but talked about mental illness among her family members. 10th grade, I attempted suicide and dropped out but didn't tell them why. I missed a lot of hanging out in 9th and 10th with them because of depression. 11th grade, this year, they went to a different school and A never texted me. She made new friends. B hung out with me sometimes.

This year I tell B I was diagnosed with BPD, and she says she knows a family member with it and that I can't have that, and tries to REDIAGNOSE ME. I'm a pushover so I just let her keep talking about her family once again. Anyway, today we go to the fair. Mind you I've made a huge effort to hang out with her (and A) this year. So we talk about rides before hand. My mom literally had to take out rent money to pay for my ticket. And she doesn't fucking want to go on rides after we've payed? I told her I was disappointed because 1. She was late today, 2. She cancelled on me the day of something else six months ago *and* this month, and 3. We were going to go to another fair in December and she cancelled on that the day of and ended up contacting my mom after she had already driven an hour there asking if she can go? FUCK YOU. So I call my mom in tears and then this bitch decides she does want to do rides. I told her our "friendship" was over and I don't want to go on any with her. Later she says we could go to a different, cheaper fair. I said "I don't want to go anywhere with you." (Finally not a fucking pushover).

So, purge time. I went into a bathroom with stalls there and worked up courage to purge (I had a root beer float, more than I wanted). I hurled even with the bathroom completely full. I came out as soon as I finished and flushed the toilet. I didn't give a fuck if anyone heard me anymore.

Then my mom picks us up and tries to be neutral and talk to us. We keep talking and B brings up 2 years ago when I didn't hang out with her and A (I didn't cancel, I just didn't hang out with them often). Then I bring up her cancelling 2 years ago and she says "You know what? I don't care anymore if you're going to bring up something that happened 2 years ago." What. The. Fuck. I told her that I let her know I had depression and there was a period of a few months when I dropped out where I was basically bedridden. Then, all of a sudden, she has depression which she has never told me about before? I was fed up and turned around and said "fuck you" to her in front of my mom (I'm 17). She got out of the car and her mom picked her up. We left her stuff on her porch per her request.

I blocked her "number" (email, her bitch of a mother doesn't give her a phone then expects me to let her use mine when she looks at all my messages and uses Facebook while we're hanging out and downloads shit on my phone without asking ugh). I blocked A's number too. A texted me "Hiya 😊" like 3 months ago and then just last week and I never replied because last time I did, I wrote a long message and didn't get a reply. So, fuck you too. I've never blocked them before in case they send me something, but you know what? They send me shit and I still don't want to talk to them, so, unsubscribe.

I was going to post on /r/suicidewatch, but I'm not suicidal. I'm just fucking done and ready for better. /rant

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[Help] Me_irl stepping on the scale the day after a binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 18:11:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t78nr/me_irl_stepping_on_the_scale_the_day_after_a_binge/
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http://imgur.com/p8w1aSe

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[Other] I have grown!
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Sat Jul 16 17:41:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t74kz/i_have_grown/
---
I'm so excited! One of my friends used to be my height exactly and I can now see the top of her head. A tape measure has confirmed I'm actually 2cm taller than I previously thought! This makes my BMI already under 20 and makes me slightly underweight at what I thought was my healthy weight goal.

I'm feeling so happy now but I wish I knew I was taller so I could have celebrated my BMI dropping under 20 :(

---

[Thinspo] Feeling kinda crappy so I thought I'd make another kpop thinspo album 🎶
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Sat Jul 16 16:49:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t6x5k/feeling_kinda_crappy_so_i_thought_id_make_another/
---
https://imgur.com/a/ggHJG

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[Other] Hah, and there I was worrying about binging this weekend and ruining my deficit this week..
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 16 16:31:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t6ufr/hah_and_there_i_was_worrying_about_binging_this/
---
And I came down with food poisoning or something this morning! I've only eaten one day so far this week too, besides crackers and soup today.. What are the odds??! Least it makes it easier to figure out the culprit, must have been some bad cottage cheese..

Feel like hell but strangely pleased! Lol! (*Can't flair, am on my tablet in bed!*)

---

[Discussion] Any college students out there? What are your goals and plans for the year?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 16:25:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t6tg5/any_college_students_out_there_what_are_your/
---
I currently live on campus due to work / summer school and I'm really looking forward for the next year since I won't be forced to eat with the unlimited dining hall plan. I ended a lot of toxic relationships and friendships last year, so I don't have many friends. I also am going through an investigation due to my assault that will most likely go into fall quarter so that will also give me an excuse to be alone to think and reflect.
On the bright side, I do plan on joining a new sorority this year so I'm very excited to rush and wear cute dresses :)

Here are my goals for Fall Quarter:

* Get a 4.0 this quarter. Meaning I'll most likely be stuck in the library and not eating and downing black coffee + Primatene instead.
* Wear cute and comfy clothes. I'm already 2-3 sizes down, if things work out til the end of the summer I should be at least down by 4-5. I want to wear lululemon tights and Northface / Patagonia quarter-zip sweaters and cute sneakers, but I will only reward myself with that at the end of the summer.
* Run on campus every morning before class.
* Build my bubble butt again.


I think I can hit 100 lbs before winter break so I'm very stoked on that! What's been working for me is a strict keto-style diet, just not much fat. 500 calorie binges every other week, 0 - 125 calories everyday.

I'm still stuck on a low-cal lunch I can take to class. I'm thinking kale salad with some tempeh noodles? Shirtaki noodles with a light tomato sauce? Spinach and watermelon salad with red wine vinegar? Something under 50 calories would be ideal!

I get really excited about school when I think about these goals. Do you guys have any?

---

[Rant/Rave] DAE ever feel like their way of thinking is more rational?
/u/dazeyheadmayzie [5'4" | 98.8 | 17.29 | -29 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 14:37:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t6cv8/dae_ever_feel_like_their_way_of_thinking_is_more/
---
Lately I have been noticing things that are considered "disordered" thinking by many people just seems like common sense to me. For example:

- I cannot wrap my head around why someone would choose a full calorie product when a diet option is just as readily available.

- Many people never track their calories or what nutrients they are consuming, yet they preach that under eating is so unhealthy. I feel like I get just as many necessary nutrients out of my carefully planned meals that the average person gets from just mindlessly eating whatever sounds appealing without keeping track.

- Some people honestly have no idea how many calories they have eaten in any given day. I'm not saying that everyone should count calories obsessively or anything, but it kinda blows my mind how many people don't even keep a rough estimate of what they're eating and thats considered normal.

- Everyone seems to lose their mind if you say anything about your goal weight dropping below 100lbs, however, I feel that most people have a very vague idea of what different weights look like and they just generally think that <100lbs is automatically "sick" looking. In reality those same people that preach "90lbs is so unhealthy, Omg, what could they be thinking" are the same ones that go on about how 'tiny' or how good you look as you lose that weight.
I don't know, i'm sorry this got so rambley but do you all have anything similar that is a commonly accepted as "normal" that just doesn't make sense to you?

---

[Discussion] I love the emptyness
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Sat Jul 16 11:54:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t5n4t/i_love_the_emptyness/
---
Waking up with a concave stomach. Hipbones sticking out. Jeans a little looser than yesterday. Ribs a little more defined. Drinking water and feeling it fall into the depth of your midsection and cooling you from the inside. The pure feeling of being empty, wasting nothing. It feels clean. And pure. And empty.

---

[Help] Really silly question: Does the food you eat contribute to your weight the second you eat it?
/u/rickyoulittlemeatbal [5'4" | 115 lbs | 20.13 | -9 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 11:18:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t5h9h/really_silly_question_does_the_food_you_eat/
---
First of all, hello! First post :) I wish it was a less ridiculous one lol...

In order to keep myself sane, I only weigh myself once a week on Saturday mornings before I've eaten anything.

However, this morning I forgot to weigh myself before eating and now I'm afraid the reading is inaccurate. It's different than it has been the last four weeks, despite me eating exactly the same and consistently losing the same amount per week.

I can't weigh myself tomorrow because today is my weekly no restrictions day so I will have definitely gained by then :/.

---

[Goal] First successful fast!
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Sat Jul 16 10:26:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t58lv/first_successful_fast/
---
I've never been one that believed she could fast. After I hit 25, it felt like if I didn't eat at least something during the day I'd pass out, be nauseous, or destroy everything around me due to hunger rage. Somehow, perhaps due to the stress from my promo vids/shoot tomorrow, I managed a 36 hour fast and still counting! That's while working a 13 hr day yesterday and another 9 today. I'll probably have to break it after work since I'm going to a birthday party tonight and want to eat some egg whites before I get there and see cake/bbq and want to gorge. Regardless this feels like a huge milestone bc now I know I'm capable of this in three future!

Unrelated yesterday at work I rung out a primatine for the first time to someone who was clearly using it as an ec stack. I wanted to tell her how I know with a wink, that I do it too, and her shoulder blades were goals... but that would've made her super uncomfortable. Nice to know I'm not the only person in the area that goes through this stuff though.

---

[Rant/Rave] Going on a trip with family
/u/Peachfae [5'5" | 116.8 | 19.6 | -18.2 | f]
Created: Sat Jul 16 10:06:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t55ln/going_on_a_trip_with_family/
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And honestly so panicked. My parents never plan rest stops so i'm pretty sure my chugging water habit is a no go. I snuck my scale in my personal backpack and will be weighing myself. Its a two day drive (15 hours first day, 8 hours next) and the first day was totally brutal (got away with 600 cal tho) but the second day i'm dreading because we will actually stop and eat some form of shitty fast food for sure. Also my family is basically unbearable and being around them makes me want to cry/binge and this trip is 16 days long. Please send me support :(

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 16 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t54yc/daily_food_diary_july_16_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 16, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Goal] Another milestone, under 120. But this time I feel no joy from it.
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 117 | 18.26 | -53 | F | GW 115 | UGW 108?]
Created: Sat Jul 16 09:55:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t53wr/another_milestone_under_120_but_this_time_i_feel/
---
http://imgur.com/bN8xwqT

---

[Discussion] Finally broke my plateau & dealing with people
/u/Axele61
Created: Sat Jul 16 09:43:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t5268/finally_broke_my_plateau_dealing_with_people/
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I've been stalled at 120 for a couple of weeks. FINALLY, I'm below. I wish this didn't mean so much to me. I honestly feel safe and happy now. But when people around me look at me, I see concern and worry. :( I feel guilty about that, but... This is what I need. Anyone else have this inner conflict between how much you want to be small, but how much you want to please the people you love?

---

[Other] This beer is a goddamn lifesaver
/u/russianfrank
Created: Sat Jul 16 09:31:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t508f/this_beer_is_a_goddamn_lifesaver/
---
http://imgur.com/a/y1xrf

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[Thinspo] I could really use this right now and I'm sure some of you need it as well
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 08:46:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4tqq/i_could_really_use_this_right_now_and_im_sure/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Qi9oCGr.jpg

---

[Other] So I went to the movies yesterday
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 08:28:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4r87/so_i_went_to_the_movies_yesterday/
---
http://imgur.com/4zJO3z7

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[Help] Tried calorie deficit calculating for a week and lost nothing. Need reassurance. :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 08:12:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4p1v/tried_calorie_deficit_calculating_for_a_week_and/
---
[removed]

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[Help] best workout plans?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 06:26:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4ck8/best_workout_plans/
---
can anyone link me to some good daily workout plans? preferably someting that burns a lot of calories but avoids gaining much/any muscle.

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[Other] Never Binge Again eBook
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 05:48:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t48ow/never_binge_again_ebook/
---
Keto Reddit has linked to a free ebook for Kindle on Amazon called "Never Binge Again" by Glenn Livingston. I can't access it, because Amazon hates my country, so I can't vouch for its helpfulness, but I thought I'd mention it. I know a lot of people here suffer from bingeing, and it might be helpful for someone.

---

[Rant/Rave] Went out alone yesterday
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Sat Jul 16 05:35:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t47g9/went_out_alone_yesterday/
---
I haven't been out alone in forever. So I don't know if this has always happened to me before and I was just out with people so I didn't notice but people are so much nicer to me now. And creepier...

Anyways, I was out yesterday and I did some errands and stuff and I just realized how people smile at me and greet me more. One guy even mumbled "good morning ma'am" when he was just walking by me. It was afternoon though haha

Then I was asking for help from a mall guard to find a taxi and he and another mall guard walked me to the OTHER side of the mall. This has never happened to me before and they usually just point me to the direction.

When I got back to school, I went to a convenience store to buy some water and there was a circle of police officers and they all started staring at me and I heard one of them call me pretty. And they started laughing. I don't know if I imagined them calling me pretty or what but I felt really uncomfortable. Especially since I'm only 17.

The creepy encounter I had last night was with this guy who wouldn't stop staring at me and saying "hello" while grinning. He would go out of his room where his friends are just to say hello and stare then he'd come back inside again. At one point, he peeked (I think he was planning on making a move) but he saw that my brother was sitting beside me so he quickly went back inside. I was tipsy and I'm pretty sure the guy was drunk so I did my best to stay out of his way.

I mean, should I be flattered? People always complimented me before. But it honestly made me uncomfortable. Now, they do it a lot more and people are a lot more forward towards me now and it makes me feel like I shouldn't bother going out again.

I feel like I'm going to sound annoying to some but I don't want to be stared at or be noticed. I want to be skinner so that I won't take up as much space. I want people to barely glance at me. Like I'm not even there. I don't want to be called beautiful or pretty. I appreciate people being nice to me a lot. But honestly, it does make me feel guilty. I just feel like I'm not worth enough to be kind to.

Idk, I'm really sorry for rambling. I just needed to get it out of my chest.


Edit: I might have made some grammatical errors. Sorry about that. Too tired and slow to bother honestly haha I haven't slept in a while

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[Rant/Rave] this is so annoying
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 05:16:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t45nr/this_is_so_annoying/
---
I can't check my weight until monday morning because I don't have access to a scale :/. This bugs me a lot because sometimes I base my intake on if I've lost/gained/stayed the same. Like if I lost quite a bit, I'll let myself have an 800 day as apposed to 0-500 if I don't gain or lose only a little.

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[Rant/Rave] Recovery...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 16 05:10:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4514/recovery/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Im terrified about my family trip I am going on next week. So I (subconsciously) have slowly prepped myself.
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Sat Jul 16 04:28:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4187/im_terrified_about_my_family_trip_i_am_going_on/
---
This week I ordered and bought a bunch of things to prepare me, so the things I will NOT forget to bring on my family trip down to California:

* Food scale
* another "travel size" food scale that shows micro grams
* ephedrine + caffeine pills
* Amazon purchase of different strength workout bands, so I don't have an excuse to strength train
* Brand new 135$ running shoes so I know I am able to run in the mornings
* ipod and headphones for running, exercising, and drowning out arguments
*Fitbit and charger
* silly putty to play with for all the anxiety they came me when being around them
* GUM
* neck pillow (because, ya know, plane rides)




Thats the TL;DR checklist. So if your still reading at 3 am pacific time: I am so terrified of this family vacation because its like the last FIVE day "thing" this summer that allows me to cheat and eat and feel like shit forever. You know how theres always "something" that makes you eat? Ive traveled and socialized so much this summer and its always about food. My family isn't exactly "obese" but they are the selfish, materialistic, "please myself now" kind of people. They say we are going to get up early every morning, walk to town, be active but they aren't those people. Its going to be about meals, bragging, and drama.


I can't let them fuck my goals over. I can't.

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I'm so full I feel like never eating again EVER
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Sat Jul 16 04:27:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t413n/rant_im_so_full_i_feel_like_never_eating_again/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Last month I was 155...
/u/paisleydaisie
Created: Sat Jul 16 01:56:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t3nui/last_month_i_was_155/
---
Now I'm 170. 171.2 to be specific. I've managed to gain 15 pounds in 21 days. My mood disorder has come back full force and ruined my life so much worse than ever before because things had actually been looking up for a bit before then. And now its all shit again and I feel stupid for having any hope my life would be different.

I've spent the last few weeks binge eating daily, probably polishing off 10k calories a day some days, and even today I fasted for 18 hours only to just feel the compulsion and give in and eat around 3000. I've basically stopped exercising too, I'm too tired and I hate myself too much.

I feel weak and sad and pathetic and suicidal. I can't keep starting over or picking up the pieces like this. When my brain isn't fucking me over I do fine. But the cycle just keeps going and my therapist doesn't know what to do and my psychiatrist doesnt know what to do and I'm just gaining and gaining weight. I cried when I saw my legs in the mirror after my shower today because there was finally a very visible awful difference to my appearance.

I know this is a massive incoherent mess, and I don't know what exactly I'm looking for by posting it, but I guess I just wanted to share more than anything. Thanks, if you read this.

---

[Rant/Rave] A challenge for me today: Going to a fair/fete. I have never NOT overeaten/binged at one.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 15 23:18:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t38ol/a_challenge_for_me_today_going_to_a_fairfete_i/
---
And usually, I let myself. For me, it's one of those rare, special events so I let myself say fuck it. I love fair food, and my small town doesn't get a whole lot of events like that.

Not today. I've had a KILLER week in terms of calories. I did very well, better than I have in ages. I have a restriction-free day tomorrow, as per usual, and with more of a vague plan in place to still keep tomorrows cals low as possible to make the most of how well I did this week (while still benefiting from the freedom of Sundays, which is good for me psychologically).

So this wont be an 'allowed' day. I don't need to overeat today. Sorry fair. I'm quite confident, but at the same time.. I'm not there yet. Maybe it will be really hard once I get there, maybe I'll give in.

Preparations:

* I'm planning to pack myself a salad and big ol' chunks of cucumber (my go-to right now, the crunch helps).

* I've made myself a bowl of sugar-free jello at home too, thank god for that stuff - the fair is VERY near my house (literally 30 second walk, just round the corner!) so I can always make an excuse, make a quick exit, and grab the jello if I get too tempted to stuff face, and go back. Sugar free jello really fills me up, and the one I have is 40kcal for a big bowl.

* I have all my food planned today even though I'm usually less prepped on Saturdays when my partners with me.

* I also didn't sleep well last night so maybe that'll be a bonus, I can come back and have a nap and forget food when I get tired.

* I am going to wear my tiniest, tightest outfit - can't let myself bloat in that!

The one allowance: There will be a big bake stall at the fair, so I will let myself carefully consider whats on offer, buy something, and save it to tomorrow night. This will make me feel like I am 'getting something', too.

Phew. This is gonna be a hard one. Damn, hope it works out. Wish me luck. Any and all advice appreciated.

---

[Help] I'm fat.
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 23:10:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t37t8/im_fat/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] So.... I didn't get a scholarship
/u/iWishiWasntUgly
Created: Fri Jul 15 21:53:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t2z44/so_i_didnt_get_a_scholarship/
---
I'm kind of.... maybe I shouldn't be "shocked", but surprised. I applied for many scholarships and expected to get at least one. I have an amazing GPA, always win awards for my class standing, I'm an under-represented minority, I frequent several clubs at university (for extra-curricular), I have health disabilities, and I am pursuing an aggressive study schedule.


All of that lead me to believe that at least one of these scholarships that claim to be aimed at people *exactly like me* would give me a little money. I don't need a lot, but just a little. I just got confirmation today that I have gotten none of them. This lead to me crying all day, and then bingeing. I'll be honest, I was actually recovering and had broken the cycle of negativity for a few weeks, too. I even stopped count calories, and was happy without worrying about my weight too much (only for like an hour or two a day, vs several hours). I was beginning to accept myself more, and was really honestly beginning to let myself be happy for once. But now I'm just disappointed, and I feel like I'm worthless all over again. I feel like I did something wrong, I'm not good enough, or sort of like.... I don't know, everyone else is clearly better than me.


I'm stressed out now because I won't have money for food in the upcoming semester. My family doesn't have the money, and I don't want to lean on them like that. I've never been in this situation before. That, combined with the disappointment is really killing me right now. I'm also starting to have weird thoughts, like.... I'm living with family over summer and so I don't have to pay for things. But I'm already thinking I should limit how much I eat/drink to $2 worth per day or something now. I suddenly feel like I am just a financial burden to everyone, and I guess I get this sense of "I should practice living off no money, because I won't have any to use later on"? In a sick way, I also feel good that I won't have money to buy food with, because it makes it impossible to get fat again.


I feel like until I leave for university, I will be following cycles of restricting and bingeing now, with all the stress and back-and-forth mindsets. I don't really see recovering as a possibility anymore, it's like I was in a daydream for a few weeks or something

---

[Intro] Feels good to talk, lots to say
/u/essiefitzmonster [5'3" | CW109 | GW100 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 21:39:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t2xe5/feels_good_to_talk_lots_to_say/
---
Sorry! Feel free to skip the wall. Last paragraph sums up where I'm at now. Everything else is history ;)

Hello all :)

Wow. Cannot believe I am finally doing this --deep breath--
So I have been lurking on reddit for 5 years and this thread for a few months but that Askreddit thread debacle gave me that push to make an account and finally say hello. So here I am!
First of all, there are so many wonderful people here and I already feel like I'm a part of this community and I hope our other lurkers feel the same way.


I have struggled with eating since the 5th grade. I would heavily restrict frequently and was underweight pretty much all of middle school and into high school. Junior year of high school I stopped growing and was still overly hormonal so I ate like the teenaged beast I was and actually became overweight. The reaction I got to being overweight was far more extreme and insensitive than when I was skinny and it hit me pretty hard.

After high school I "got healthy" and had a decent relationship with food and exercise. But I was still living with my family and constantly had people pushing me to eat "normal" even though so much of me wanted to resist it and restrict. It made me hate myself, like I was trapped.

When I moved to Chicago from the suburbs I was pretty much on my own. That gave me the power to eat what I wanted, which was pretty much nothing. My weight dwindled rapidly and I was once again tiny tiny. I went home to the suburbs and my parents were in shock, they had just seen me two months ago but I looked completely different. I will never forget the look on my dad's face. He was worried, yet understanding. I suddenly felt like I could trust him with this. It was weird how much his face communicated.

After yet another 3 day fast my body had enough. I forced myself to walk a block to a convenience store and pick something, anything, to eat. Just to convince myself I was OK. The mistake was going to a 7/11... There is NO low cal food there. I walked around that small space trying to find something I could eat but I was so stressed I just started sobbing. I could feel the panic attack coming so I called my dad. He told me to go back to my apartment and go to sleep. He would be there in an hour to take me to the grocery store.

He bought me $200 worth of groceries and was judgment free on anything I put in the cart. After checking out and driving me home, he gently expressed his concern but let me be. That man has done a ton of amazing shit for me in my life but that was hands down the best thing anyone has ever done for me.
My friends, family, even acquaintances would all make comments about my rapidly changing appearance but nobody handled it like he did and I will be forever grateful.

After a long string of binging and fasts I was at a pretty healthy weight for a while. Graduated college, got a job, moved to the suburbs, bought a house, got married yadda yadda…

But now that my husband has been deployed I am once again on my own and once again restricting. And I am happy. Not only does it keep me occupied from missing my husband but I’ve been losing pretty quickly from restricting. Nothing extreme as of yet, but it feels good to push myself.

---

[Meme/Humor] Why I don't socialize
/u/italkiesomuch [5'7 | CW 145 | GW 115 | -40lbs| Whale Noises]
Created: Fri Jul 15 19:42:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t2ioi/why_i_dont_socialize/
---
http://imgur.com/a/xyGAI

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[Discussion] How do you guys track your calories?
/u/MarquessOfCats [5'2 | Fat AF | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 17:56:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t24hh/how_do_you_guys_track_your_calories/
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Just kind of curious. Pen and paper? An app?

I started out just using pen and paper, then moved to MFP before finally moving to Lifesum. The database isn't huge, but it's such a pretty app.

What about you guys?

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[Rant/Rave] Meal plan woes
/u/ummyeahokay [5'5" | 124 | 20 | -23 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 17:34:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t218a/meal_plan_woes/
---
I've been in recovery for a while but I had to switch therapists a few weeks back when my old one left. In the three weeks before I saw my new one I relapsed pretty hard and I've been restricting really heavily and actually seeing a lot of progress in losing weight (8 lbs in a month!). My new therapist is understandably worried and wants me to do IOP, and she had me visit with a nutritionist today at the clinic for a meal plan. The nutritionist is being extraordinarily nice and isn't making me do snacks yet, but fuck me I feel so nauseous looking at what I have to eat. Before, I was actively seeking recovery but right now I only have one foot in the door, and that foot is tied down by obligation. I really really don't want to do this. I go home next month to see family and I want them to see a difference. I want to fit into my old clothes. I want to not have to think about food - god I hate grocery shopping so much. And now I have to prepare meals again. Gahhhhh

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[Rant/Rave] Shirataki noodles I love youuu
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Fri Jul 15 16:59:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1vrw/shirataki_noodles_i_love_youuu/
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My mother thinks they're regular old pasta and so she buys them for me now in multiples because they're my "favorite". Thanks for indirectly sponsoring my Ed 😊

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[Other] You people weren't kidding about halo top!!
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 16:34:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1rm2/you_people_werent_kidding_about_halo_top/
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So I was hankering for sweets when I remember the highly talked about halo top ice cream. I have had arctic freeze or whatever that frozen powder is called and it was so bad. I assumed any high protien low cal ice cream would be like this. I went to fry's and got 3 flavors, I didn't care if they tasted bad I needed sweets that wouldn't make me want to die. You guys, I cried! I ate half a container and slowly savored every yummy creamy bite and was still in my 500 cal limit. No more sad period chocolate binging :') I can cave zero calorie root beer floats. I smiled all night knowing I didn't have to feel too bad about binging on ice cream. You guys, this saved me,.

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Binged for the first time in weeks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 15 16:27:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1qeg/binged_for_the_first_time_in_weeks/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Does anyone have any good vegetarian meat recommendations?
/u/salt_container
Created: Fri Jul 15 16:02:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1m5a/does_anyone_have_any_good_vegetarian_meat/
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I went to the vegetarian frozen aisle the other day wanting to try some low-cal substitutes, but there's so many brands and kinds I didn't know where to start!

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[PSA] Regarding "that askreddit thread" and brigading
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 106.3 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 15:27:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1g6o/psa_regarding_that_askreddit_thread_and_brigading/
---
We understand that the recent askreddit thread has been upsetting to a lot of users who feel like it has misunderstood and mischaracterized what this subreddit is all about.

While we know that there might be a strong desire to comment on that thread to correct inaccuracies or provide an inside perspective on what we're really about, or at least upvote those who have already done so, we ask that you to refrain from doing so.

We do our best to provide a safe and welcoming space for those who need it and would hate for that to be jeopardized in anyway. Brigading threads in other subreddits is a violation of the rules here and something that the mods can't condone because we do not want to jeopardize the status of this community. If we see anyone doing that going forward, we will unfortunately be forced to issue warnings. (If you do refer to anything from another thread or subreddit, please use np.reddit.com to link, as stated in Rule 7.)

Instead, we invite users to share their feelings regarding the post here. We understand how alienating what was said can feel. We encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments and provide support to one another.

Additionally, we anticipate a potential increase in traffic due to that thread. Please continue to be vigilant in reporting any posts or comments that make you feel uncomfortable or violate our rules and message the mods with any concerns <3

All credit to /u/Glitter_Cunt for kindly writing this up!

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[Tip] The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 15 15:21:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1f7t/the_lifechanging_magic_of_tidying/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Ran nearly an hour in 90 degree weather!
/u/efflorescence-n [5'10 l F l 🌸💖✨]
Created: Fri Jul 15 13:50:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0zeo/ran_nearly_an_hour_in_90_degree_weather/
---
first time posting here so i apologize if this is not the right way? please let me know how to fix it (and i think i add a flair after i post this which i will do...)! and fair warning, this is a bit of a ramble because I don’t really share this stuff with anyone in my life hence the essay so thank you for reading this if you do - you're a very lovely soul!

so last night and the night before was a terrible binge armageddon and i decided i'm going to fast for the next few days and go for a run this morning to pick myself up by the bootstraps. well i got back from my run an hour ago and then my internet decided to crash as i was typing this (such is life) so here i am again trying to document my small-victory which I hope is alright? i woke up late and didn't feel like running but i know i needed to do it for myself so i ended up going around noon and it was scorching hot but i did it it! like i ran as much as i could (5 miles or so?) and only stopped because it was way too hot and i didn't feel like inflicting any more pain on myself but i'm really happy about it :”) although, running at noon through a tourist-attraction with ~500+ people staring at you/in your way as you wear a boyband t-shirt is not exactly exciting #relatable i still did it and i got to enjoy sweating balls to the walls for the first time in a while since I haven’t ran in weeks and i usually do only half hour runs!

i'm planning on fasting for the next few days to get myself back on track as well. i was able to fast this week for roughly 48 hours (monday night to weds. night) but then I just felt like eating when I got home (lol) and the worst part is, I wasn’t even hungry????? so I was like ‘oh man, I should probably eat a little bit’ and i just was craving the sensation of eating *facepalm* but i knew i shouldn't... and a little bit turned into the last supper basically:))) BUT I can do this, so I’m dedicating myself to fasting ‘till Tuesday maybe? Or at least Monday would be nice so this is kind of an accountability post so I can ensure I stick to my word since it’s on reddit now lol

also, i'm really thankful for this community; even though i've mostly been lurking and commenting and am fairly new, i really love how inclusive this community is and how supportive and kind you all are. i get really excited to come on here and read what's going on and genuinely want success and happiness for you all. when 'this' got really 'bad' a few years ago for me, i thought it was just me who had these thoughts and did these things, and that i was some outlier so I tried to keep quiet, but i know that i'm not bad and that there are other people out there and i'm looking forward to encouraging everyone to their goals (whatever those may be) and reaching mine. hope this was ok and thank you for reading I hope u have a beautiful day :~)

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[Rant/Rave] Unknowingly drank regular instead of diet Cola
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 15 13:46:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0yn8/unknowingly_drank_regular_instead_of_diet_cola/
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[deleted]

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[Other] When you get a massage
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Jul 15 13:44:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0yac/when_you_get_a_massage/
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And the guy complains that there isn't anything to move around and then asks why you are smiling so strangely.


Because I'm insane.

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[Discussion] Any of you guys use S Heath?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | -50 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 12:25:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0jys/any_of_you_guys_use_s_heath/
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It tracks steps, food, water, and sleep but you can also have it connected to other apps (there's quite a few) to track other things or track the same things differently.

I'm really liking it so far, any other thoughts/opinions?

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[Tip] DIY Pizza, <100 calories/piece
/u/silverturtle [5'2" | 114 | 21.6 | -16 | F/23]
Created: Fri Jul 15 11:36:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0ay4/diy_pizza_100_caloriespiece/
---
http://i.imgur.com/vh2MGzS.jpg

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[Discussion] So I guess I officially have an eating disorder.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 11:23:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t08ay/so_i_guess_i_officially_have_an_eating_disorder/
---
After 10 years of no official diagnosis and possibly not meeting the criteria for one, today my group therapist labeled my disordered eating as an actual eating disorder. For a split second it was validating, but then I just thought "Whoa. I am not ok. What I am doing is undeniably unhealthy." It was kind of a shock. The group therapist doesn't know about my eating issues in depth, so he could think it's worse than it is. But, the more I think about it, I don't know how my relationship with food and eating and weight could be anything but a full blown eating disorder. It's never been super severe, and I'm in the process of recovery, but I guess it's a disorder nonetheless.

When you all were diagnosed, how did you feel?

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[Rant/Rave] Worried about this weekend.
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 11:15:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t06wg/worried_about_this_weekend/
---
I'm currently sitting in the back of my parents' truck, en route to go camping. It's a six-seven hour drive and I don't know if I'll survive it.

The entire past week has been stressful with my mom last-minute planning this trip, even though she's known she had a four-day weekend for the past two months. Instead she waits until a week beforehand and then gets frustrated when she can't find a campground with RV availability (plus all the forest fires going on further narrows the availability). She finally found a place Wednesday night, and then scrambled to find accommodations for our cat. And then yesterday she came home deciding that she would just leave the cat alone for four days. With "enough food." This is a cat who inhales his food, gets regular wet food in addition to his dry, gets destructive when he's bored, and is the most personable, human-centered cat I've ever met. It took me posting to a subreddit asking for vet advice to change their mind, because they'd been advised by "decades-long cat owners" that he probably wouldn't even notice that we were gone. The cat that I wake up with curled on my chest or between my legs. Right.

And with all the stress my dad becomes entirely unbearable. For example, I got called a "selfish little twit" for not taking out the trash when he "asked" (I was in the middle of doing something else).

And then I read about Nice. I don't mean to diminish any of what happened there. My heart bleeds for all of the friends and families affected - either those injured or killed, but also those who lived through the trauma.

But my fucking dad. I'm like clenching my teeth just writing this. Turn the TV on after seeing the live thread, and at some point they emphasized "not confirmed terrorism." And off my dad goes with his islamophobia and racism. "Every time one of these attacks happen, *ohhhhhh* we can't assume terrorism! Don't go blaming the Muslims! It's definitely a religion of peace! But any time a cop kills a *black man*, then we don't need to hear the full story, about how he had a pistol on his lap and didn't have a concealed carry license."

I'm just. I don't even know what to do. If I say anything he goes off on me. And I majored in sociology so this stuff *really* bothers me (not that that's a requisite to have some basic fucking human decency right after an absolute tragedy but just for context).

With all the stress, when my mom and I went to Trader Joes for salads for me (love their salads) for the weekend, I made an offhand comment that their dried mangos were really yummy, and she threw that in and bought it. And I was internally panicking but didn't say anything. I should have. Ended up eating the entire 540-calorie package that she thought was a "healthy snack." And then of course this morning weighed in a full two pounds heavier - while I cognitively know that it's stress and water and food retention, it's still just another stressor added to the plate, on top of stressing about restricting this weekend in front of my parents, as I know they have no idea that I've only been eating dinner.

When I started typing this out, my mom had just read an article naming the Nice truck driver as Muhammad. And off my dad goes again. I can't take this. I can't take this.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 15 10:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4szth1/daily_food_diary_july_15_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 15, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Goal] Using my old self as motivation
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:57:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4szhhx/using_my_old_self_as_motivation/
---
It's funny that years ago, at my lowest, I hated how I looked. I thought I was disgusting. I used to play games with myself where I'd hold dumbbells and step on the scale to see what it would feel like to weight a lot more. The highest I got to was 140. At the time it was comforting knowing I'd never weight that much.

Today I weighed 139.2. I can't describe that feeling. The hatred I have for my body is unmatched. I'd give anything to even be half way there these days.

Maybe public shame will be enough to kick my ass into gear. So [here](http://imgur.com/a/yKoY0) are some photos of my lower weights, and what I look like now so you can feel better about yourselves today.

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[Discussion] Does anyone else have a parent or sibling with ED?
/u/weedecrestrictrepeat [5'4" | 127.0 | 21.80 | -6.2 | 24/F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:33:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4szde4/does_anyone_else_have_a_parent_or_sibling_with_ed/
---
I was diagnosed with anorexia my senior year of college and never told my parents. I have brothers who were ALWAYS skinny and never had to worry about what they eat, so my struggles and fears of being fat were kept to myself from as early as age six. I was jealous of them for their fast metabolisms, and my dad would joke that I took after him and had to be more careful. As I've gotten older and my weight has fluctuated more, my dad and I have really bonded over our shared food problems. Recently he confided he only consumes about 5-700 calories a day and if he goes over he tries not to eat the following day in order to make up for it. Is it weird I'm worried about him? Even though I literally do the exact same thing every single day? I feel like such a hypocrite but I can't help it. Almost all of the habits he told me about (weighing himself multiple times a day, having anxiety about eating out with friends or family) are problems I have too and it makes me so sad to think he's dealt with this alone for so long. I guess this is just a rant but I don't know, I'm so confused about how I feel lol anyone else relate?

***EDIT*** Thank you all so much for being so open and honest with your experiences. Not that I expected anything less but it's interesting to see all of the similarities in our stories. It really is so amazing that this community exists. I don't know what I'd do without you all here.

---

[Rant/Rave] "What are you like 100 lbs soaking wet"?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:33:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4szddq/what_are_you_like_100_lbs_soaking_wet/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Not a very good day
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:12:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sz9u4/not_a_very_good_day/
---
Yeah....things are not going well.
I'm at my parents for summer and I have gained 2kg (4lbs).
My solution for the problem? Bring on the wine! ugh...I'm not a very clever person.

But I was a bit extra sad today, because next week me and my husband are finally going on our honeymoon. I had used loosertown to calculate how much I would have lost if I could have focused.....I would have been down almost 5kg (11lbs not including the weight I gained!) on the day of our trip. I really feel as a huge failure who has no discipline. I just don't know what to do...

I have to hit it really hard when we get home. The gym, food, everything! I can't stand myself!

That bottle of wine looks really inviting right about now....

Hope you ladies have a better Friday! <3

---

[Rant/Rave] Sorry for the negative post guys - 3 donuts, then purged at work.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:12:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sz9qe/sorry_for_the_negative_post_guys_3_donuts_then/
---
MY supervisor brought (only) me donuts this morning. I was like, "awe, that's really nice.. but goddamn I don't want to eat these"

But then I felt I almost had to because my SUPERVISOR.. went out of their way to bring me donuts.

Awesome.

So.. pulled them apart and drank a whole bottle of water with them. 3 donuts down. Good job being normal, McKenzie.

NOPE LOL

Went to the public bathroom and purged for twenty minutes.

Then I sat by the toilet, staring off into space, thinking "what the fuck am I doing with my life?" but at the same time having no intention to stop what I'm doing (besides eating donuts)

It's just been a "bleh" day.. already.. at 9:11am my time.

---

[Discussion] In light of the AskReddit thread that's been going on, here's an article that hits home - "The Biggest Misconceptions About Eating Disorders (From Someone Who's Had One)"
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 07:55:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sz6zd/in_light_of_the_askreddit_thread_thats_been_going/
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http://greatist.com/live/eating-disorders-myths-to-stop-believing?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=opengraph&utm_campaign=eating-disorders-myths-to-stop-believing&sr_share=facebook

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[Help] A little worried about going back to college soon.
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Fri Jul 15 07:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syy7d/a_little_worried_about_going_back_to_college_soon/
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I flew back home for the summer, and it's been so easy to restrict because I'm able to cook for myself and don't have people eating pizza around me daily. I also am not going out much, so it's easier to eat very little since I'm not spending a lot of energy.

Last year, I gained 40 lbs my first year of college. I'm scared to death of the same happening again. Anyone experienced in dealing with college have any tips for me?

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! July 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 15 06:03:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syqvz/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_july_15_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for July 15, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Help] What should I do?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 15 05:44:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syoqc/what_should_i_do/
---
Hey all! I've got a bit of a predicament right now and I'm not sure how I should take it. I'm on a successful 0 calorie 36h fast, but today I'm being forced to eat lunch and dinner unexpectedly. I have no idea what it's going to be and won't necessarily be able to log the amount of calories. Now here are my options: I can eat breakfast, breaking my fast but allowing me to be less hungry for whatever it is I will be having for lunch and dinner. Or I could not eat breakfast and have lunch and dinner but take the chance that I'll be hungrier and eat more. What do you people think?

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[Other] 140 cal lunch: rice cakes with cottage cheese and rocket/arugula!
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Fri Jul 15 05:31:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syndz/140_cal_lunch_rice_cakes_with_cottage_cheese_and/
---
http://imgur.com/rjsENtm

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[Rant/Rave] Finding it difficult with my BFF
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 05:17:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sylzb/finding_it_difficult_with_my_bff/
---
In the past my BFF has been my inspiration, she lost a ton of weight when I hadn't seen her for a few months (we were both overweight BMI at the time) and I suddenly realized I could make the change too. She used to eat 600 cal/day everyday and then have free days at weekends. It worked for her and she got super slim. When we called each other on the phone we could spend an hour talking about what nice food we had discovered under 300 cals or how much we ate this week or whatever. It was wonderful, because let's face it. ED or not, talking about your diet to someone who is not on a diet is impossible.

But in the last 6 months my friend has gained a lot of weight. She is 'overweight' BMI again and she is really unhappy. She keeps telling me 'i wish I could be like you' and sighing like it's impossible. I find her motivating, because I don't want to go back to where she is, waking up each day hating myself. However I am getting so frustrated with her. She knows how hard you have to work to lose weight and all I get is negative energy and 'I can't do it' whinges. I am trying my hardest to be nice. She is so beautiful and it doesn't matter if she has a few extra pounds she is the most wonderful person I know. But I feel like if she tells me about the take away she just had and then whines that she wishes she were slim once more I am going to lose my rag. I would love a fucking take away. But this is more important right now. Hearing her talk about how unfair and hard it is makes me want to scream. We both know you have to make a daily choice about what we eat and how we feel. If she hates it so much she needs to change something. But I feel like she just wants the magic fairy to come and speed up her metabolism so she can carry on eating and not gain. It's not realistic. it's childish.

Now I have written this I realize that the thing that is making me crazy is that she is ME, me from 1 year ago, me from 2 years ago. I acted like a child, eating everything I could get my hands on and then being sad that I was fat. I don't hate her, I hate being reminded I was so stupid.

So sorry for the long vent, but at least I have worked out my issue!

---

I need (non-ED) support. Please
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 15 04:38:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syi4h/i_need_noned_support_please/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Strange question but.. Any shorter, low-end healthy BMI females ever lost 4-5lbs within 4 weeks?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 15 03:37:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syc4n/strange_question_but_any_shorter_lowend_healthy/
---
Eurrghh. Never thought I'd see myself asking a question like this but I'm panicing, I guess. So yeah. My 88lbs by September 1st goal.

The scale is sort of fluctuating between 91-94lbs for me at the moment. I think the upper end could be water weight/bloat as I do wildly vary my intake... but the lower end is me literally empty of EVERYTHING after fasting, peeing away all my water weight, NO bloat, etc.

Anyway. My TDEE is so low according to calculators (WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A HOBBIT. WHY), and I think they're accurate for me realistically too. Reaching my goal is gonna be SO TIGHT with my current restriction/overeating habits.

Of course, if I got rid of restriction-free/binge Sundays then I could reach it with how I eat during the rest of the week.. but I also know that getting rid of my Sundays will mean fucking myself up for the rest of the week and probably ending up eating MORE calories. I don't have the willpower, without the Sundays..

I guess I just want to arm myself with some info... or hope? Or just talk. Or ramble. Any females around the 5ft mark with lower TDEEs (around 90ish lbs type TDEEs) ever lost that much, in that amount of time? What was your diet/activity like?

Hoping to get a phone off a friend I can play Pokemon GO on soon, which will give me great motivation to do a lot of walking on my rest days. IF they give me the phone. IF.

*-flops on floor-* I need to be thin and pretty for my break away with my boyfriend it is so importantttt. It's our first break away together!

---

[Tip] For my fellow popcorn lovers. . .
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 15 01:34:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sy0jd/for_my_fellow_popcorn_lovers/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I binged and I hate myself so much right now.
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 00:30:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxtyv/i_binged_and_i_hate_myself_so_much_right_now/
---
I'm in a rage against myself and my heart has plummeted. I've eaten under 1000 calories the past 7 days, but today I ate 1960. I was 121 lbs earlier and am 123 now. Will it go away? If I eat 1000 calories tomorrow will I get back down? Help, I'm really hurting right now.

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling Very Off-Kilter This Week
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 00:24:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxt9o/feeling_very_offkilter_this_week/
---
Sort of a long rant. TL:DR = My mother flips on a dime from being proud of my weight loss (she doesn't know the source of it) to verbally rebuking me while in front of her siblings during our vacation. I now have no fewer than 4 people monitoring what I do or don't eat.

So, I'm on vacation with my mother. It's a yearly thing to see aging grandparents. I enjoy it. Except....the yearly monitoring of my food intake. I have never been diagnosed with an ED as I've never told my doctor or psychologist about my eating habits. I am a 30-year-old, married woman.

Rewind a few months: I tell my mother how much weight I've lost (nearly the true number) and why (I didn't feel good about myself, and didn't feel healthy) and how (watching portion sizes). She says she's proud of me, and that "I inspire her".

This week: Aunts trickle into town. Each time another one comes in (there are 3) Mom says something along the lines of "isn't Whisper thin? She's not eating as much these days." *Insert eye roll from mother here*. I needed new pants for work, and she went with me to a local outlet store. I fit into 2s US (which, realistically, are at least 4s) and she started making comments about it as well to the family. "Oh, Whisper won't eat that. She thinks she's fat now. I told her she wasn't but she just doesn't eat." In a very condescending and angry tone complete with that look that accompanies a finger-wag. Every Aunt has commented on my weight immediately on seeing me. I have most certainly not lost that much and am still in the "healthy" weight range. Smack in the middle of it, actually.

Let me be clear, I haven't restricted AT ALL since we've been here, no matter how much I want to. I eat lunch. I eat dinner, I eat dessert and make sure they see me eating snacks. 2 of the Aunts are nurses. I don't have time for that.

So now I'm very stressed at constantly being hounded about my food for the 30th year in a row, ashamed like I've done something to upset my mother (grew up in an alcoholic home and was "the fixer") and stressed about the amount of calories I've been putting into my body. Not to mention angry at myself for dealing with this as I'm a fucking adult. Just.....off this week. I wanted to share this to make sure I'm not going insane. It sure as hell feels like it.

Edit: Asked my mother in private if I'd offended her regarding my weight loss since she seems to call me out on it in front of everyone. She got offended and asked me who I thought she called me out in front of. -_- Then angrily told me she's not upset.

*when I say "angrily", it's realistically very minor. I pick up on small changes in tone or body language and everything sort of gets amplified for me.*

Sorry. Long rant, it's late, can't sleep and just fucking stressed.

---

[Discussion] Anyone else love stretching on an empty stomach?
/u/Banana_Enema
Created: Thu Jul 14 23:46:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxp8u/anyone_else_love_stretching_on_an_empty_stomach/
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When I can keep my head out of my ass long enough to actually go on a true fast one of my favorite things to do is to lay in bed and just stretch. Feeling the tightness of my empty stomach and sucking in without feeling bloated gives me the strength to continue fasting. Anyone else notice this?

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[Rant/Rave] Went to movies by myself, got a free COMBO: Drank a large Diet Dr. Pepper. Bag of popcorn sat next to me untouched.
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Thu Jul 14 23:10:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxl9y/went_to_movies_by_myself_got_a_free_combo_drank_a/
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Not ONE kernel. Like... How??? Today was a fasting day so I feel that has something to do with it - once I touch some food its like all down hill from there. But I had coffee today and then sipped on that Diet Dr. Pep like nobody's business. Had to pee so bad twice but was worth it.


Took the bag home, weighed the total contents, tupperwared it, probably will throw out tomorrow, and am now going to search how many calories are in 180 grams of movie theatre popcorn (unbuttered..).


Another tip I used during the movie: I played with silly putty. I have anxiety/OCD tendencies where I get restless so I play with it in class or on long car drives - this worked perfectly too to not help me think of the popcorn.

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I know we aren't supposed to give points
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 14 22:56:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxjoq/i_know_we_arent_supposed_to_give_points/
---
[removed]

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[Other] I'm sorry to ask, but will somebody please link me (PM or comment) to the AskReddit thread that everybody's talking about.
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Thu Jul 14 21:44:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxapy/im_sorry_to_ask_but_will_somebody_please_link_me/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Little funny story
/u/Phiohtrue [5'4.5 | 129.0 | 22.14 |- 18.2 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 21:34:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx9gn/little_funny_story/
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I was getting coffee with my supervisors and one of them offered me a bit of a pastry, of which I had already taken a chunk out of. I declined and he was like, "oh come on!"

me: "I'm on a diet right now"

him: "why?? that's really not necessary. do you want to disappear?"

me: (YES goddamnit) "it'll be my superpower, like invisibility" *changes subject*

Hit a little too close to home - I'll have to be careful around him in the future. He's definitely thinner than I am, the irony is strong.

---

[Other] Dinner :)
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 21:13:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx6sg/dinner/
---
http://imgur.com/Cv2v0TJ

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[Other] Found out watermelon is a laxative
/u/yugogrl2000 [64" | 158.9 | 27.27 | -5 | Demigirl]
Created: Thu Jul 14 21:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx52o/found_out_watermelon_is_a_laxative/
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I didn't realize that watermelon can have laxative properties until I basically ate nothing but watermelon for 3 or 4 days. Well, I am 3 pounds down. Can't complain.

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[Goal] Had a Skype conversation that put me in a good mood
/u/Saltycook [5'4"| 128# |22.4| -35# | Female]
Created: Thu Jul 14 20:41:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx2cp/had_a_skype_conversation_that_put_me_in_a_good/
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My friends and I live on opposite coasts and I haven't seen her in 2 years. Since I last saw her I've lost 22lbs and have kept it off! She commented how thin I looked on the monitor and I was positively blithe. Hoping by the time our vacation hits, I'll reach my goal weight (104). Just wanted to share this with you all :)

---

[Rant/Rave] The things I do for this
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 84 lbs | 16.08 | -23 | f]
Created: Thu Jul 14 20:34:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx1ft/the_things_i_do_for_this/
---
I just walked two miles to and from this store so I could get binge candy in HUNDRED DEGREE HEAT. I think I sweated off like two pounds, holy shit. My legs are jelly and I feel like I'm going to throw up but at least I've got my damn sour gummy bears.

*sigh*

The things I do for you, Mia

---

[Goal] bad news/good news/ idk
/u/bravbo
Created: Thu Jul 14 20:23:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx01h/bad_newsgood_news_idk/
---
I'm back from the psych ward (not ed related, I'm still fat) and got some news. My scale is about 10 lbs off making me almost overweight, and because I'm short af my bmr is 1400 so even the recomended minus 500 cal will put me on a 900 cal intake. The good news are: I seem to have a thyroid problem so I'm probably going to get some pills to help me for that so that's nice, plus starting prozac which decreases hunger and gives me nausea.

It's july 14th and my family does a huge shopping spree on early august so I have to lose as much as possible.

I'm getting some blood tests done tomorrow so I haven't eaten since 5 pm and will probably eat at around 9 am, so 16 hour fast.

The plan is to burn off everything I eat for 20 days, I'll update later I guess.
I'm bravbo, have had an ed for about 4 years and my lowest weight put me just on the healthy range so good luck myself.

---

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] As a guy I hate that I'm supposed to have muscles
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Thu Jul 14 18:44:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4swm3j/rant_as_a_guy_i_hate_that_im_supposed_to_have/
---
At my lowest weight I felt happy about my body but I hated it when I had to take off my shirt. Everyone assumed that since I was thin that I had to have a six pack and a v line. Noooope. At my LOWEST weight (5'9 and 123) I still had fat around my stomach. I'm extremely jealous of guys that do have that six pack and those muscles. Ugh. Its hard AF for me to put on muscle, but putting on fat is just too easy.

---

[Intro] I've been struggling
/u/zaniathin [CW 163.8 | BMI 29.82 | GW1 140 | -5.2 lbs | 22/F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 18:00:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4swf70/ive_been_struggling/
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Soooo this is my first post here, been lurking for a long time and I relate on so many levels with you all here.

I restrict and then catch myself and attempt to be a bit healthier because my fiance knows about my past eating disorder and I don't like to worry him but somehow though, I have found myself falling back into restricting with no urge to stop myself. I've become more neurotic about what I put into my body, how many calories I consume, becoming secretive with not eating or simply making an excuse as to not eat a meal.

I recognize all these signs as how I was in the beginning when it first started before it became an obsession. Its the start of the desire to control every single calorie and substance that goes into my body. That all being said I have no desire to stop it.

I think maybe it has to do with my stress level currently being higher than I've ever had it with work and my newly engaged relationship. I got injured and so I've put on a lot of weight and I know its a control issue.

Regardless of why, I want to be thin again. I want to be in complete control of my size and of my body and of the way I look and feel. I remember feeling happy and carefree back when I was at my lowest weight. There has to be correlation between that and how miserable and stressed I feel now.

I know a lot of this has been my rambling and trying to justify my falling back into restricting, but all in all it is really just me thanking this community for existing and being someplace I can tell you my triumphs and also my failures. Where I can speak about my weight loss and also my addiction and obsession with seeing those pounds fade away from my body. So thank you, and I'll be much more active from now on and actively support y'all rather than from a distance. :)

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[Other] Its always our own fault
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 17:49:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4swdf7/its_always_our_own_fault/
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So i was on Tumblr and I noticed that people love to call others fat, then when they develop an ED, its always their own fault. This guy was going on a rant on tumblr (since deleted it, and it was probably a troll, but a lot of people share his mentality) and it was something like "TO ALL FAT WOMEN" and he went on about how calling someone fat is their own fault because their fat and if they develop an ED its their fault for taking those "fat" comments seriously. Like? I know, I know, its probably a troll but it got reblogged by like 600 people who share that same mentality and I feel like a lot of people have that mentality and it makes me furious.

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[Tip] Dae get wicked drunk just so they can go out to eat and not viciously hate themselves until like an hour after they're done?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 14 17:44:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4swcru/dae_get_wicked_drunk_just_so_they_can_go_out_to/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] Best time to workout - Thought I'd share with you all :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 14 17:01:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sw5pr/best_time_to_workout_thought_id_share_with_you_all/
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http://www.caloriesecrets.net/when-is-the-best-time-to-workout-for-weight-loss/

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[Tip] Lookbook for Thinspo <3
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 14 16:07:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svwyp/lookbook_for_thinspo_3/
---
I get to look at fashion blogs/outfits and skinny pretty girls~!

10/10 recommend

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[Intro] An Intro
/u/littlestpiglet [5'2" | CW: 102.2 | 18.69/19.36 | UGW: 98 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 15:40:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svsd5/an_intro/
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[removed]

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[Intro] A (long) intro
/u/thetinyotter [5'2" | CW: 103.8 | 18.99/19.67 | GW: 98 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 15:14:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svnvq/a_long_intro/
---
[removed]

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[Help] I keep rolling calories over, saying, "Oh, I'll restrict tomorrow.." I've really fallen off.
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 14:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svikz/i_keep_rolling_calories_over_saying_oh_ill/
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I used to be able to restrict effortlessly. But lately I've been binging like CRAZY. It's so disheartening. :( I've gotten back on Topamax, a medication known to make you lose your appetite, so maybe that will help me stop binging so much...

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Since we are all probably diet coke addicts by now, have a happy song!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Jul 14 14:34:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svgpr/since_we_are_all_probably_diet_coke_addicts_by/
---
https://youtu.be/xa6mLZf5HVw

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[Other] All you newbs go flair yourselves!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 14:10:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svc76/all_you_newbs_go_flair_yourselves/
---
It's a totally selfish reason, I like to see where everyone's at ;)

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[Other] Those days when you feel so obvious at the grocery store
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 13:36:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sv6bg/those_days_when_you_feel_so_obvious_at_the/
---
http://i.imgur.com/WHmOjBD.jpg

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[Goal] Update: No longer obese!!!
/u/Blehergered [5'3 | 156.4 | Overweight | -25 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 13:29:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sv4vf/update_no_longer_obese/
---
Hey guys! I haven't been that active on here because so much craziness (good/bad) has been going on in my life. I'm in the hospital right now with pneumonia and they weighed me this morning at 158 lbs!!!! On the scale at home I've been teetering on 164 lbs so I am very excited to have lost more then I originally thought.

I have barely ate since being admitted (breathing difficulties and eating don't go hand in hand) so hopefully I can can get down to 155 soon <3

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[Help] How much can you gain in a week?
/u/downtownhomebound
Created: Thu Jul 14 13:23:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sv3p7/how_much_can_you_gain_in_a_week/
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Ok so I went to camp this week, which means a lot of planned meals and trips to the supermarket for snacks every other day. I must have clocked in at 3000 calories a day. I am so afraid that I'll have gained more than I've lost (since I started restricting again I've lost like 7+ kilos) and I am so scared that I'll have gained it back. I just ate half a pack of cookies and half of a giant bag of crisps and my stomach hurts so much... I just can't stop and I feel sick every night when I go to bed, I hate feeling full. I know I'm being delusional, but surely it's impossible to gain 7 kilos in a week?

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[Rant/Rave] I'm an alcoholic asshole!
/u/08070427 [5'5" | 127.5 | 21.3 | -8 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 13:18:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sv2p9/im_an_alcoholic_asshole/
---
Blackout wasted binges all week! Can't seem to get back on track. And I really hate myself. It feels like there is an actual brick in my stomach right now. I've never felt pain like this in my life. I wish I could just sleep all day, but I gotta do adult stuff!

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[Discussion] Issue I am having
/u/PotatoProtagonist
Created: Thu Jul 14 12:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4suxyd/issue_i_am_having/
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This sub talks about being totally open to all walks of ED but there exists this lack of open-mindedness in terms of healthy criticism. Just because this sub is a little hypocritical doesn't mean it's a bad place. I don't want to feel alone and ostracized just for explaining what I find to be truth. Multiple opinions can exist, can be valid at once. This sub can be encouraging in both good and bad ways, for ME, at least (and I assume then that this is true for SOME other people here...I'm not a unique person). I'm not being a bad person by voicing that. I would like to be able to talk about my feelings with this sub honestly...I don't mean to offend anybody, and my criticism (however mild) seems more constructive than albums of thinspiring pictures.

I know I'm quick to the defense and I've been a heavy lurker so long that I have illusions of being more involved with this sub than I seem to be...I'm sorry if this post seems out of line. Just putting my feelings out there in hopes that someone understands? Am I crazy?

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[Discussion] What exactly is "model-like / thinspo weight" for women 4'10" - 5'4"?
/u/sunkindonut149
Created: Thu Jul 14 12:31:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sutk3/what_exactly_is_modellike_thinspo_weight_for/
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This question bugs me a lot and I make a lot of guesses about this but I'm really not sure. There is very little real guidance for short women who are really going for a scaled down version of the runway model type physique.

There is far more guidance for people 5'4" - 5'7" in this matter - 105 is often touted as a benchmark for someone 5'6" and much mainstream guidance just extends it to "well, 105 is thin for anyone" which is silly.

This is because the shortest professional models, like Kate Moss and Devon Aoki, are around 5'5" and 105. There is a social taboo against having a goal weight under 90. Yet lot of people are 4'11" and under 80, and don't look emaciated. But they get a "pass" for being "naturally thin".

Women 5'4" and under are rarely included in this discussion. The most famous petite woman in American media is Kim Kardashian. There is a stereotype that everyone under 100 lbs is "small" - which may be the case for someone 5'5" but, someone 4'9" even without EDs might feel more comfortable getting under 90.

I see very few pics of people in Mybodygallery under 90 lbs which is a problem for people under 5'4".

Now, people tell me to look toward the women of Kpop and Jpop, but honestly they seem to be roughly the same BMI range as US actors rather than "super thin".

I've read a translation of an ideal weight/height chart from a Japanese magazine, I think it said that 100 lbs is good for someone 5'2" which is really the same as the US "mainstream" guidance.

Models in Asia and Latin America are the same height as models anywhere else. Korean and South American soap-opera actresses are roughly the same height / weight as many 1960s American actresses; before the secular increase in US height and weight over the past 50 years.

I am wondering - what is an agreed-upon actual runway / editorial type physique weight for women in this height range?

Here are my guesstimates. But I am not thin yet, so they are just random guesses. Does anyone here who has gotten to this level feel these ballpark ranges are appropriate? For myself, I'm 5'3" and I think I will look and feel good at 83 lbs.

5'2" - 5'4" - 88 lbs

4'11" - 5'1" - 83 lbs

4'8" - 4'10" - 78 lbs.

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[Goal] Pokemon Go giving me new goals- to weigh less than Pidgeotto!
/u/pcrnography [5'6" | -55 lbs | nb]
Created: Thu Jul 14 12:21:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4suriy/pokemon_go_giving_me_new_goals_to_weigh_less_than/
---
https://i.redd.it/su5ororpv89x.jpg

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[Help] Did I just miss my period? Is that even possible?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 12:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sunsp/did_i_just_miss_my_period_is_that_even_possible/
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I am a virgin, so definitely not pregnant. My period is a full 12 days late. I had two days of light spotting around when I should have gotten my period, and that's it. Is it even possible to lose a period at a BMI around 19? I'm 5'4" and have been hovering between 108 and 111 the last few weeks. Has anyone had any experience with this?

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[Intro] Can I be here?
/u/ksarasara09 [5'1 | 108lbs | 21.31 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:53:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sulwo/can_i_be_here/
---
I happened to find this sub this morning when looking through someone's post history, and I'm so relieved. I've googled "pro ana Reddit" and "eating disorder Reddit" but only ever found recovery subs. I thought maybe this topic was banned or something.

My disordered eating behavior started when I was 7. Ever since I was old enough to use social media I've used it to find other girls (and later, when I found out it affects boys too) that want to shrink themselves. MySpace, tumblr, MPA. It's always such a relief to find an online forum to share.

I'm 20 now, 5'1 and at last weigh in I was 108. I haven't weighed myself in months because I guess I was "healthy" for a while. Or maybe just too busy. But lately I've been so aware of how much space I take up and I've started restricting again and I'm back to my old habits. I'm glad to have found a subreddit of people that understand. I look forward to interacting with all of you :3

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[Help] How do I get my parents to be ok with me going raw vegan?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:53:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sulqo/how_do_i_get_my_parents_to_be_ok_with_me_going/
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I have been vegan for a while now and I'd like to go fully raw. Both to make it harder for myself to overeat and all. But I need to come up with something good. Any ideas?

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[Meme/Humor] What do you call a secretly gay anorexic?
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:40:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4suj2q/what_do_you_call_a_secretly_gay_anorexic/
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A skeleton in the closet!

This might not actually be funny to anyone else, but I definately laughed.

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[Tip] How do you all feel about feta cheese?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:06:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sucge/how_do_you_all_feel_about_feta_cheese/
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So I got an 8 oz block of feta last night, and it was *60 calories* per oz. Is it just me, or does this seem low for cheese to anyone else?? Idk. It's SO flavorful and filling, and it satisfies my cheese craving really well! So I'm gonna get it more often.

PS: for those of you who remember my goodbye post, I guess I'm back; I couldn't stay away, lol.

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[Help] tmi : feeling empty without purging or lax?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4subqd/tmi_feeling_empty_without_purging_or_lax/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] just took first ec stack!
/u/chaconnes [5'3" | :( | GW: 105lb | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 10:43:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4su86v/just_took_first_ec_stack/
---
damn, this stuff is potent. i took half a bronkaid (cvs by my house had it, bless) and half a caffeine pill and my heart is racing. it feels kind of like when i have anxiety, except that i'm not actually worried about anything, and i have not thought about food ONCE, which is a huge step forward for me! all-in-all, satisfied, but i think i should have started with a lower dose, as i'm not used to stims.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 14 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4su0gl/daily_food_diary_july_14_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 14, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Intro] Greetings from hell/an intro
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 14 10:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4su075/greetings_from_hellan_intro/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Battling Food Obsession
/u/WithyWillow [5'3" | 125.5 | 22.85 | -84.5 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 09:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4styws/battling_food_obsession/
---
(Sorry for the rant, sometimes I get tired of keeping things to myself.)

I'm always wanting to buy food. Browsing grocery stores is one of my biggest forms of entertainment. I'm always making excuses to buy this or that and imagining how I can incorporate them into my restrictive patterns. I keep hoping I can have a healthy relationship with these foods if I do 'x', 'y', or 'z'. If I can find the right behaviour, the right routine, I can both 'have' **and** 'be healthy'.

It never works out that way. I buy the food, store the food, try to eat the food, binge the food, then toss the food.

Then I go right back out and stock up my fridge and pantry again with more 'hopeful' foods.

I'd say 80% of my spending money goes to food and I'll be lucky if I don't end up chucking half of it. The financial drain is ridiculous.

What is with this urge to hoard food? Full fridge, full pantry, full freezer. It's safety and anxiety, comfort and stress, gratification and despair.

I have $250 worth of 'hopeful' food sitting in an online cart right now. Hoping I can have it. Hoping I won't binge on it. Hoping I can have a healthy relationship with these foods and that they'll be 'safe'. Hoping I won't obsess about their existence in my home.

Sometimes it feels like a part of me wants me to eat myself into oblivion. It won't be satisfied until I become a fat and bloated corpse incapable of anything. There is something inside me that wants me to become obese and rip from me everything I hold dear. My obsessive food patterns seem like the only defense I have to keep this malicious compulsion from ruining my life. It's exhausting to think that I'll be constantly battling my shithead abusive fat inner child for the rest of my life...

---

[Rant/Rave] Fuck mirrors. Fuck them to hell
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | 84 | lol | i | F (trans)]
Created: Thu Jul 14 09:43:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stwtz/fuck_mirrors_fuck_them_to_hell/
---
So I'm sitting in my friends room and I see myself sat down in front of the mirror. Jesus fucking christ. I look like a fat blob. I even set off out of the house thinking I look cute today, but seeing myself in this mirror lol no. My face doesn't even look nice. I look like a fucking dude and it makes me want to throw myself in front of a car. Why can't anything be right with my body? Fuck being the correct size, my body doesn't even have the correct genitals. I'm sick of having really horrible body horror ideation. I'm sick of being obese when I've tried so hard not to be and I'm sick of looking like a man. This might be more about gender dysphoria than about disordered eating or distorted body image but idk it all seems to be one mess at this point... why do I even have to have a body...

well at least eating and not cheating is going well. Just 1hr20 until I can eat all of my food for the day.

I'm sorry for the moan, but life is getting to me more than usual today <3

---

[Goal] Fasting for 12 hours today.
/u/Hi_ilikerocks
Created: Thu Jul 14 09:40:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stw5r/fasting_for_12_hours_today/
---
I've never fasted before and I'm always one to get excessive hunger pains so I'm starting out small with 12 hours. If I'm successful I'll do a longer fast in a couple days. Wish me luck guys! I need it. Haha. I don't have the best willpower.

---

[Goal] I need to not binge for a month...
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1" | CW: 154 | -13 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 09:13:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4str36/i_need_to_not_binge_for_a_month/
---
So a couple months ago I realized things were completely out of control. I was at a new high weight after reaching my lowest weight ever as an adult a couple years before. I'm going to a festival this summer and I just realized that it is happening 1 month from now. I thought I had more time but it totally snuck up on me! My dream/goal of being thin for it is definitely not going to happen because I've been binging all my restricting progress away on the weekends. I could conceivably reach the somewhat pathetic goal of fitting into most of my clothes again. I've been wearing 1 pair of leggings, 1 pair of black jeans, and some tops that I bought "oversize" when I was small that are not oversize right now. I can't buy clothes at this size, but I need to be comfortable while I'm there because this is a camping festival and I'm already anxious about the whole thing. I need to not feel like a stuffed sausage on top of everything else.

So yeah, idk if I'm asking for anything but I need to get this out somewhere and to people that aren't going to pretend like not binging is simple and easy. I think I'm gonna get bronkaid to help because the idea of being a sweaty stuffed sausage in humid midwest heat all weekend without being able to go home and make myself comfortable again is just... ugh :(

---

[Rant/Rave] First Binge – reflections and revelations
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 14 08:58:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sto73/first_binge_reflections_and_revelations/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Has anyone tried seeking help for body dysmorphic disorder?
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 112 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 08:36:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stkci/has_anyone_tried_seeking_help_for_body_dysmorphic/
---
*warning, long ranty post*

I feel like I need to hear from others who can relate.. my mental health has been so shitty lately. I feel like I've been so obsessed with the way I look/my weight/being perfect all my life, that I have failed to develop hobbies outside of makeup and dieting. I based my entire life off of vanity and obsessions. Fuck, I even went to college and majored in health education/nutrition and now have a job in healthcare. Not because I care about anyone else's health, but because I wanted to ensure that I knew as much as possible about food and weight loss. So here I am, with a job I hate and no hobbies to take my mind off of my fuckups.

I became obsessed with my weight at a very young age, but I've never believed that I had body dysmorphia before. My boyfriend would mention that he thought I may suffer from it, and I would say (and 100% believe) "my view of myself is not distorted, I'm just very very honest with myself about my flaws."

Then last week I stumbled upon the wikipedia page for body dysmorphic disorder. It described every thought, obsession, and habit I have. I spent the rest of the day sobbing because I realize now how fucked up I am. I realize now that it's not normal to need to wear makeup to run to the grocery store at 10pm. It's not normal to cancel plans with friends because I'm at home sobbing because I'm too anxious about how I look to go out and have fun. It's not fucking normal to wear jeans in 80 degree weather because I'm worried someone will notice how ugly my knees are or that I have cankles.

During my moment of clarity, I researched which psychiatrists in my insurance network specialized in BDD, and then I researched a little deeper to find one that I thought I could open up to. I finally found a doctor who looked promising, and I called her office to set up an appointment. I called at 4:31 pm. Her office closed at 4:30.

I told myself I would call first thing in the morning. I even told my boyfriend that I was going to get help, and he was sooo happy for me. But the next morning came and went and I never called. I still have her number, but now I'm nervous and I feel stupid and part of my brain is still telling me that there's nothing wrong with the way I see myself. After all, I'm just being honest.

Has anyone gone to therapy for body dysmorphic disorder? How did it go? Was it helpful? I want so badly to be normal and less anxious, but....ugh, my brain is stopping me. Also, I feel like if I seek help for BDD, my issues with food will surface, and I'm not ready to give up my eating disorder. I'm just not. Blah.

A sincere thank you to anyone who just took the time to read this post.

---

[Help] I should just fucking kill myself
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 08:00:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stdwd/i_should_just_fucking_kill_myself/
---
Because that's the only way I'll ever be skinny. I weighed myself today for the first time in a long time because I'm terrified of scales and I weigh 5 lbs more than I thought I did. Fuck me. I'm not even good at having an ED.

---

[PSA][Repost] This is not a diet/motivation sub.
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 106.3 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 07:53:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stcvf/psarepost_this_is_not_a_dietmotivation_sub/
---
As we grow and gain new members, this is something that needs to be periodically discussed. This is especially pertinent as we were linked in an askreddit thread and seem to have an influx of people who don't quite understand what eating disorders are.

Eating disorders are sadly misunderstood in our society. Media often portrays them as the young teenage girl that wants the perfect magazine cover body, so she skips lunch every day. But the reality is far more complex, oftentimes dark, and serious than that image allows.

Eating disorders ARE mental illnesses, plain and simple, and they can affect all ages and genders. If you haven't already, please take a moment to check out the [proED wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/faq) and familiarize yourself with the different types of eating disorders.

We understand that some of you here may not identify as having an ED in any of it's various forms, and that's okay. We invite you to read and gain some understanding of what it's like to exist with this type of mental illness. We welcome you to be supportive, and we expect you to respect our rules. What we do not welcome, however, is treating this sub as a dieting and weightloss sub. We are not a "get thin quick" route to your dream body. **If you read even a few of the posts here, you will see that eating disorders are often not about weight at all, but about control, self-worth, compulsion, or any other number of factors.**

Occasionally, posts are made here asking for tips to lose a couple pounds, while in the same breath explaining that we are such an inspiration. Without intending to do so, these types of posts are negating our lives and our illnesses. Out of respect, we do ask that you follow our rules: **We are NOT a diet sub. Asking for dieting tips or asking how to become disordered is not allowed, and will result in the removal of your posts and comments.**

There are many subs out there that can help non-disordered people make healthy choices and plans to meet their weight loss goals (and if our minds were healthy, we would be there too!). Please check the side bar for links to those subreddits. Remember, THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM!

Again, we welcome your presence among us, disordered or not. Your awareness helps to destigmatize our illness and that's a powerful thing! But please don't fall prey to the simplified and often glamorized media portrayal of eating disorders. This is not something anyone should strive for, not something anyone should want. It is painful, both physically and mentally. It is lonely and isolating. It makes you feel powerless. We can not help you achieve what you think is perfection, because for us, nothing will EVER be perfect.

TL;DR: This is not a diet/motivation sub. No one but your doctor can tell you if you have an eating disorder or not. If you do not experience disordered eating, and you are here to lose weight fast, this is not the sub for you.

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[Help] Ever since I lost weight, my butt has gotten flatter. Please help?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Thu Jul 14 07:33:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st9or/ever_since_i_lost_weight_my_butt_has_gotten/
---
Like at least before it looked a bit full but now it's just flat and weird looking.

I thought about going on xxfitness but I didn't want to mention my heavy restriction. :(

What workouts should I do to improve my butt? What kind of foods should I eat and when is the best time to eat them? Will I see results within a few weeks? I'm honestly willing to workout everyday just so that I could see improvement as soon as possible. My confidence is just so low :(

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[Goal] FINALLY! HIT MY GW! (not my UGW though)
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 07:14:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st6nz/finally_hit_my_gw_not_my_ugw_though/
---
After being at the same weight for nearly 4 months, I decided to do a juice cleanse and lost about 3 pounds in 2 days. Woke up and weighed and saw I hit my GW. I'm so thankful. Now I'm kind of scared I don't wanna screw it up by gaining. Anyone have any tips?

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[Discussion] DAE bug out about period weight gain?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 07:10:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st62w/dae_bug_out_about_period_weight_gain/
---
I should be getting my period within the next week and it's really starting to get to me. I've been able to keep the cravings at bay with EC stacking but I'm just holding onto so much water I'm almost afraid to look at the scale. Last Friday I was 144, then I went to a cabin with some friends over the weekend and binged a bit and when I came back I was over 147. I figured at least some of it had to be water weight and I had yet to go to #2 *(sorry TMI)* since the binge so I figured I'd wait it out. It's now Thursday and I weighed in at 146 this morning. I can't believe I gained 2 whole pounds last weekend which means it's got to be period weight. But I just want to see the scale go down. I want to feel as light as I did at the end of last week. DAE just wish they could skip the week before your period so that your ED doesn't go into overdrive?

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[Discussion] Do y'all trust the mirror or photos?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Thu Jul 14 06:46:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st2hk/do_yall_trust_the_mirror_or_photos/
---
So Over the past weeks I've dragged myself (mostly-ish) out of the binge cycle I was in and begun to lose weight again, but I am having such a hard time figuring out if my body is changing. I've been thinking that over the past couple of days that I can maybe kind of see a difference in the mirror, and my fingers are definitely looser than they used to be when I wrap them around my leg over that freckle on my thigh, but comparing photos I look literally identical. I can't for the life of me discern any difference, even though the scale says I've lost ~3 kg (but I think some of that was water weight tbh).

So what do you go off? Reflections, body checks or photos?

*p.s. I'm on mobile right now so I'll flair in the morning*

---

[Goal] I "photoshopped" myself (lmao)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 14 06:43:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st22b/i_photoshopped_myself_lmao/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support July 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 14 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ssw4m/weekly_emotional_support_july_14_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Intro] Just a quick hello.
/u/shinylunchboxxx
Created: Thu Jul 14 05:39:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sst64/just_a_quick_hello/
---
Hey, all. I've been lurking for a while, so I feel like I already know you all. Just want to say that I'm so glad there is a space I can be myself in with people who truly understand the place I'm in and the challenge every day brings.
For the first time, I truly believe it when someone says «I understand».

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[Rant/Rave] Pokemon GO was officially released in the UK today.. and I can't play it because my mobile phone broke and I can't afford a new one.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 14 05:16:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ssqr7/pokemon_go_was_officially_released_in_the_uk/
---
So there fucking goes that.

It was an old phone anyway and while it was compatible it probably would have ran slow.

But fuck my life.

I needed that. I needed that distraction. I needed that motivation to go out and not wallow in my fucking bed feeling isolated and alone. Just fucking something.

Shit.

---

[Other] ITT draw your body as it is now compared to your 'goal body'!
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 14 03:53:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sshgf/itt_draw_your_body_as_it_is_now_compared_to_your/
---
(Just a bit of fun/distraction!)

[This is mine, as a quick example :D](http://imgur.com/a/fydxW).

I've kept the little wiggly lines meaning to show my loose skin around my lower tummy on my 'goal body' because I wanted to *try* and make it somewhat realistic as a goal.. my boobs are a bit higher than they'll probably ever get though, haha. Also my 'now body' looks like a sad face and my 'goal body' looks like a happy face because I am ultra creative and artistic and symbolism and all that crap.

;) Anyway.. I'd be interested in seeing yours if you fancy doing one. I'm curious how people see themselves vs their goal (realistic or not, your choice!).. not for any reason, just pure curiosity and distraction!

Hopefully it goes without saying that it would be great if no one criticises anyone elses drawing/mspaint skills since that's not the point :) And ESPECIALLY NOT MINE OMG!! ;P

(*sorry if this post sounds/is worded funny, I'm a sufferer of the brain fogs today... sign of a successful restriction week so far tbh!*)

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[Intro] Hello!
/u/noworforever96 [5'2" | 125 | 22.86 | 0 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 02:45:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ss9zi/hello/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] I'm so excited
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Jul 14 02:44:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ss9xf/im_so_excited/
---
I can finally fast again! I had birthdays, family gatherings and all that terrible FOOD IS EVERYWHERE stuff, and now I can fast again, and become smaller. Because oh my, I can slowly start to see some light through my thighs and I'm gonna make the most of this!

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[Rant/Rave] I fuck everything up and I feel like I have no future
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Wed Jul 13 23:21:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srm6l/i_fuck_everything_up_and_i_feel_like_i_have_no/
---
The guy I love is in my country right now and I'm too fucking ashamed of my body that I can't even see him! That and my mom is super protective nowadays that I can't find a way to make plans.

He didn't come just for me, but he would've been willing to do anything to finally see me. Not a lot of people from the internet can have that opportunity. But I did and I fucked it up and I'm too scared to do anything about it.

I'm finally back in school but I feel like I won't be able to do shit because I'm restricting too much. I have ADD too so obviously that doesn't help either. I want to go back and see my psychiatrist to see if I can get medication for my ADD but I feel like my mom doesn't want to bother.

I want to move away so bad. I want to live and study in Europe and finally travel and see my sister whom I haven't seen for almost 5 years. I want to see the guy I'm in love with and be closer to him. I want to finally be independent. I want a new start.

But I don't have any skills. I suck at everything. I guess I'm good at talking to people but I'm not comfortable enough with myself to even look people in the eye when I talk to them. Who would want a damaged, stupid loser in their country? Let alone let someone like me work for them?

Even though I've lost around 20 pounds, I still look the same. My once perky boobs are now a bit saggy. Everything is softer. My thighs, my stomach, my arms. I have stretch marks everywhere too. I still look chubby. I'm one pound away from being underweight, I think. And that's still not enough.


Sorry for the rant.

---

[Rant/Rave] I am so very very anxious
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Wed Jul 13 22:57:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srj54/i_am_so_very_very_anxious/
---
I've posted about this before but goddamn dude. I have nobody else to talk to about this and I am freaking the fuck out.

I'm going camping with my family starting this Sunday and my mom called me today because she was going grocery shopping for the trip and she was like, "So, we're having hotdogs/bratwurst on the 17th, hamburgers on the 18th, and tri-tip on the 19th. What kind of sausages did you like again?" and I said I didn't know and I tried to tell her I don't really like hamburgers anymore and she just told me I had to eat what she's making and that she's not going to make entire separate meals for me. Which I'm not expecting her to do. If it wouldn't be weird I would cook myself 3 low-calorie high-volume meals and bring them with me and just eat those and avoid breakfast but that would be so so suspicious and just ugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I hate this.

---

[Other] Splurged on some low-cal/organic products after losing 20lbs since the first day of summer :) No binge foods were bought in the process.
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 22:33:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srg2n/splurged_on_some_lowcalorganic_products_after/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/37dea7b6addb403da6aef415d3241034?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=f50834d724aa7437a7a540b566b640ca

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[Other] It was a day:
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Wed Jul 13 22:30:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srfp3/it_was_a_day/
---
I'm at 700 calories for the day, which makes me feel like a failure, despite the 7 hours I spent ~~RUNNING MY ASS OFF FOR~~ catering a party of (12 that turned into) 28. Either way, a minor victory for me. Of those 28 people, three were men, and I was still **the smallest in the room, BITCHEZZZ!** There is nothing more empowering to me than serving cheese to girls who have 20+ pounds on me, sorry (I ain't sorry).


Edited because I format like ya grandma.

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[Help] I've been binging on safe foods every night this week in order to avoid a "real" binge. But is a binge still a binge?
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 22:08:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srcow/ive_been_binging_on_safe_foods_every_night_this/
---
Idk, my thoughts feel a bit warped at the moment so I'm coming here for perspective. I felt a binge coming on so hard tonight so I steamed a SHIT TON of brocolli, plain, and ate it in a binging fashion. I also gulped my water down as I ate it to fill myself up. It felt like a binge, the animalistic way I went about it, and i know it's super-nutrient rich, protein filled healthy food so I'm not UPSET about it. But now, of course, I have intense post-binge bloat and that stuffed, up to my esophagus feeling so I feel "guilty".

Like, ugh, this is progress from an all-out, carb/junk food binge right? Or should I just say fuck it and binge whatever the fuck bingey foods I want since i'm an animal?

Idk. And I do know. At the same time. ED ugh. Thanks.

---

[Rant/Rave] (Jonathon Groff Voice) Awesome! Wow!!
/u/itsalrightitsalright [5.8 | 153 | 22.79 | ~14 | f]
Created: Wed Jul 13 20:55:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sr26t/jonathon_groff_voice_awesome_wow/
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[Title Ref](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84zM9ziSF_k)

Righteo, well guys, it's istota panic time!!

So if anyone remembers (Like last time, not expecting anyone to. Just kinda talkin' to the void), I've got a JDI Installation on Saturday that's complete with a whole lotta shit that's going to make me go berserk. I'm not sure if any of you know about Job's Daughters, but if you do, you'll probably understand the hectic-ness that is my life right now as HQ Elect.

*BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!*

My friend has has asked me on a trip. There are swimsuits and shorts involved. Lemme repeat, sWIMSUITS AND SHORTS! And if that's not gonna top it off, there are roller coasters. Which are one of my top fears. But I can't exactly say no, I mean, I'd feel like shit. But again, this whole thing (and on top of the installation) has me thinking '*Oh shit, how much restricting will it take to have me lose a million and finally look acceptable instead of a* **big ass cellulite-riddled mess??**

I mean, this is too much for me. But guess who's gonna try and take it all anyways??

That's right, guys, my stupid ass!

I don't know. Maybe it'll be fine. Maybe I'll just go and play Pokemon Go until I fall off a cliff. That sounds nice enough.

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[Rant/Rave] I just want to look like a cute Manga girl.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 20:17:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqw5z/i_just_want_to_look_like_a_cute_manga_girl/
---
I don't know what's wrong with me. I restrict and lose 10-20 lbs then I ended up binging with my significant other (whom I am no longer with as of two days ago) or at my moms. I gain it all back in a matter of days get shocked and restart. I want to be small and delicate and lovely but I keep fucking it up half way there. Watching anime is oddly enough such thinspo to me. The characters are all lean and probably don't gain 20lbs in a few days

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[Intro] Drunk and made an account to say
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 13 19:15:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqm9v/drunk_and_made_an_account_to_say/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Ugh. (A rant.)
/u/swarleyandme [5'11" | 200.6 | 27.08 | -89.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:51:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqio3/ugh_a_rant/
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[removed]

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[Help] Thinking about getting a pedometer
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:34:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqfvk/thinking_about_getting_a_pedometer/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Getting back on track
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:30:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqfal/getting_back_on_track/
---
So I am in the process of getting back to normal after a 3 day binge (sat-mon). Last night I ate at a friend's house, but was sure to only eat a little of things (.5 cup of chicken, .25 tortilla, .5 cup rice mix, .25 cup cheese mix, etc) to try my best and stay within a reasonable calorie limit. I know yesterday I was under maintenance, although I don't know how much.

Today, I am trying to stay under 300 with a realistic goal of under 600. The second goal is because I've already had 211 calories today, and I need to leave room for food because sometimes if I don't eat close enough to bed time I can't sleep at all. Tomorrow is a 300 cal day, and then I should be flying out friday to visit my parents for a week. I'm currently trying to decide whether to pack my food scale or if I can convince my mom to buy one while I am out there. Luckily, my mom is always on some kind of diet (although she never seems to lose weight) so I doubt she'll think anything of my eating habits as long as I make sure to eat when she's around. Hell, she probably wouldn't even notice if I didn't eat. She is pretty easy to lie to about this kind of stuff.

Wish me luck!

---

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] i'm doing so bad oh my god
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:17:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqda2/rantrave_im_doing_so_bad_oh_my_god/
---
I've been binging non stop this week I feel absolutely vile and I really just want to die cos I've got no self control and food is my entire life in pretty much every aspect and I have nothing to show for it lkhdfhdh holy fujk I want to cut again but I need short sleeve s for work please everyone just prsy that I can survive tomorrow without a binge and start a new fast for at least 24hr I need to I need to oh hhhmyh God I'm a mess

---

Diet Questions from recovering? Binge purge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:00:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqaib/diet_questions_from_recovering_binge_purge/
---
[removed]

---

[Goal] Just wanted to share some progress! This is about a 7 pound difference (124-116 lbs)
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 112 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 17:48:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sq8na/just_wanted_to_share_some_progress_this_is_about/
---
http://imgur.com/I6hxh9M

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm pretty proud of myself for what just happened.
/u/feelslike5ever [5'5" | 141.3 lb. | 23.5 | -2 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 17:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sq2x9/im_pretty_proud_of_myself_for_what_just_happened/
---
So I was fully prepared for today to be a cheat day. I had only had coffee and tea all day (as usual) and my dinner was going to be a box of Velveeta shells and cheese so my caloric intake for today would have been ~1000.

So I cooked my food, sat down on the couch and turned on a show. I got about half way through the bowl, and I just didn't want any more. I just didn't want to keep eating. So, what was going to be a 1000 calorie day ended up being a ~550 calorie day.

It's not much, but it's a little unexpected victory for me. Thanks for reading!

---

[Help] Could you lovelies help me with my speech?
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 17:06:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sq1sk/could_you_lovelies_help_me_with_my_speech/
---
Hey guys,

I'm in a speech class and I was going to do my next speech on obesity but someone else is doing the same topic. Instead I decided to swing in the opposite direction and do mine on Anorexia.

This will be weird for me because it is a speech to persuade and I don't quite know how I will swing the speech. Does anyone have any advice or resources I can use?

Thank you

---

[Help] Battling fatigue/working out with fatigue?
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 13 16:01:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spr1w/battling_fatigueworking_out_with_fatigue/
---
Last Monday I found out I might have cancer and the first thing that popped into my head was whether or not this would aid or hinder weight loss. Fuck me that's morbid haha.

Anyways, whatever is causing all of my health issues at the moment is also making me exceptionally fatigued. I get very anxious and have a much lower mood if I can't workout regularly, but this fatigue is really making it hard to hit the gym.

Besides caffeine and other stimulants, are there things I can do to combat it? Also, I know it's possible to lose weight without exercise, but that little irrational goblin in my head is telling me it's impossible and he is much stronger than the rational parts of my brain. Anyone have anecdotes of losing actual fat without exercise/with minimal exercise?

---

[Rant/Rave] I feel so guilty :(
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 148.4 | 24.51 | -14.6 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 15:55:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spq4p/i_feel_so_guilty/
---
I know its not a big deal, but I can't help feeling really shitty. My mum came home and brought me a chicken wrap from whole foods before leaving with my brother. I looked for a long time and couldn't find any nutritional info about it online, probably because they just make them in their deli. I took out the chicken salad from the tortilla and thought about just eating that, but the second ingredient in the salad mixture was *mayo* and I just couldn't. I crumpled up the wrapper and but it in the kitchen trash and then dumped everything else in a separate trash bag and brought it outside. Garbage pickup is tomorrow. I hate wasting food, and my family isn't living pay check to pay check or anything but that wrap was still $8.00 because it was from Whole foods. Idk. I feel bad. :( Just wanted to vent I guess.

---

[Other] Coaches
/u/CG_goddess [5'2" | 117 lbs. | 21.4 | 0 :( | Female]
Created: Wed Jul 13 15:48:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spp0v/coaches/
---
Last night I was eating fries before practice and my color guard/ dance coach told me that after I saw this season's costumes I'd stop eating fats. At least I'm motivated to start working out again and to try to shrink my waist.

---

[Rant/Rave] Tales of Dysmorphia with notyourtoy
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:56:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spfz8/tales_of_dysmorphia_with_notyourtoy/
---
So I'm at Tillys. Because I'm a 26-year-old grown-ass woman, I feel a little out of place among the braces-wearing, stick-thin teenagers everywhere. But there's a huge sale rack, and I need a dress for a date this weekend.

I see all these tiny teens around the rack and immediately know I'm not going to find anything that fits. But a deal's a deal, and I have to shop it, just in case. Because I'm poor.

There's a perfect white, flowy beach dress on the rack. It's exactly what I've been looking for for months but, it's a small. For some reason, I grab it and go to try it on.

It fits. It fucking fits. Not only that, it's kind of too big. Really lose and flowy and everything I wanted. I cannot believe it. Of course, I'm just thinking "if this fits me, what the hell are those tiny girls buying." Because even with all this I still can't see myself as a small person.

I bought the dress. But I'm very confused right now. Vanity sizing has nothing to do with this confusion. This is seeing someone I consider "skinny" and then buying the same size she buys, and then STILL seeing her as way smaller than me. When does it end???

---

[Other] How I get to sleep
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:42:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spdgn/how_i_get_to_sleep/
---
This is gonna sound really sad, but I go to sleep with my hand on my hip bone, because so so long I didn't have them and now I do it's so reassuring. It's like falling asleep with a security blanket.

---

[Tip] Homemade spring rolls: messy looking, but delicious and only 185 calories for the plate!
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:39:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spcw2/homemade_spring_rolls_messy_looking_but_delicious/
---
http://imgur.com/7MM0PZI

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[Discussion] Wasted food
/u/smallsmallersmallest [168cm | CW 52.5kg GW 47kg | 18.66 | -8.5kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:20:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sp9cw/wasted_food/
---
Part of the reason I'm binging so often these past few weeks/days, apart from my complete lack of self control, is because I can't stand to see food go to waste. There is currently food in the house that I know no one else will eat because there's not enough to share amongst everyone or because it's simply forgotten about. So I eat it. I can't seem to stop myself. Come dinner time, I don't choose my portion sizes either, my mum does, and she's not a small lady so her idea of a normal portion size is a little (a lot) bigger than mine, but I know she'd worry if I told her to plate only the amount I want to eat. So I get my massive plate of food and I eat it all, even when I'm full, even when I'm not enjoying it anymore, because I hate wasting food. This happens way too often. Is there anyone else who struggles with this?

---

[Help] Please help, I just ate an entire poke bowl and since I don't know the calorie count I feel like this is going to turn into a binge.
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:20:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sp9b3/please_help_i_just_ate_an_entire_poke_bowl_and/
---
Anytime I don't know the calorie count of a meal, I end up binging because I feel like I've already ruined the day.

Does anyone have any tips to combat this? I know it didn't have more than 1000 calories, so realistically I have no reason to chalk this day up as a failure. I keep telling myself that. Just don't eat anything else today and everything will be fine. But it never works.

How is it possible for my brain to know that logically I'm still under my TDEE and at the same time feel like I've already ruined everything and am going to gain weight?

---

[Discussion] Anyone else get random 'hunger panics'?
/u/missuhree
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:00:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sp5gv/anyone_else_get_random_hunger_panics/
---
I don't know if there's a name for this. But when you're fasting, all of the sudden, you think about eating and you're thinking, oh that might be nice to eat. But the purpose of fasting is to not eat. But then your mind flips to a different food you could eat and how good that could be and now you've just got all these cravings and you want to binge but it all just feels like anxiety. Is this common? Like, I've been going through fasting periods for a lot of my life, so I think I've permanently shrunken my stomach, so when I'm fasting I'm very rarely hungry. My body probably is, but I don't feel hungry. So it's weird. All of a sudden, this enormous stress befalls me and I wanna try everything and eat everything even though I'm not hungry.

---

[Thinspo] I guess my last thinspo was too extreme, so here, have a less extreme Instagram find!
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 13:42:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sp22o/i_guess_my_last_thinspo_was_too_extreme_so_here/
---
http://i.imgur.com/NwkjP80.jpg

---

[Tip] Good posture
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 13:26:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4soyx3/good_posture/
---
We all want to look like dainty pretty ladies but remember to act like one too!


Remember to always have your shoulders pushed back and down (feels weird, looks good), and use your stomach muscles to keep your body straighter. Also, when walking, lead slightly with your hips (with your chest if you're a guy). Keep your chin parallel to the ground, and hit the ground with your heel first, and then roll onto your toe.


Good posture will burn (almost an insignificant amount of) calories, and will create allure. Stay sexy everyone!

---

[Help] Question about EC stack vs. Adderall?
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Wed Jul 13 13:20:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4soxpj/question_about_ec_stack_vs_adderall/
---
(Can flair later... On mobile sorry ❤️)

Okay, so first I should say that I am NOT prescribed Adderall and I do NOT have ADHD/ADD.

Last year, my ex had a friend who sold his Adderall. I remembered I used to buy some from friends in college and I liked the effect of being able to focus, having energy, and not eating.

So, for a couple weeks I was buying his 30mg Adderalls and I was taking probably one every day or every other day and I was barely eating, went from 110lbs to like 103. I want to be that small again (my GW is 100). I know it's dangerous to use Adderall without ADHD and I don't even have the connection and it's expensive. So I'm not interested at all in going down that road right now.

My question is, are EC stacks kind of the same feeling as Adderall? I could google it but I wanted to ask anyone who has experience and can compare the two for me. I've never used an EC stack but I've read some other users' posts about them and they sound like something I want to try. Since Adderall was so effective in losing weight for me, I am curious if they are similar appetite/energy-wise.

I work out like 3-4 times a week, mostly cardio (3-4 miles running 5.5mph) and squats.

---

[Intro] Hello!
/u/sarah_scarlett [61" | :( | D: | -9 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:50:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sos7x/hello/
---
Hey everyone :) I've been lurking here on my main account for a few weeks and finally decided to make a new account to use for this sub.

A little about myself: I'm 24, live in Maine US. I've had disordered eating habits since my early teens and reached my highest weight this spring after months of depression related binging. I'm so tired of hating myself, so I'm back on track since mid-June. I've lost 9 lbs from restricting and riding 2-3 horses a day for exercise.

I'm so happy to have found this subreddit, you all are so nice and supportive <3

edit: And if anybody wants to be friends on MFP my username is sarahteedot!

---

[Rant/Rave] Today was going so well :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:41:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4soqhp/today_was_going_so_well/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] are these side effects of senna laxatives??
/u/bloopitybloopblop [4'11" | 94 | 20.29 | | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:17:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4solv2/are_these_side_effects_of_senna_laxatives/
---
DAE regularly use senna laxatives? I can't tell if it's due to my frequent binging or my use of senna (or a combination) that's causing this, but I'm constantly bloated, have frequent chest pain, shakiness, shortness of breath, nausea, and fatigue :/ Are there any immediate ways of keeping my electrolytes in check, preferably without the use of pharmaceutical products because I haven't got much money atm. I want to stop using laxatives asap, but I fear I've developed a physical as well as psychological dependence on them, and I'm not sure how to go about rebooting my digestive system without worsening my BDD. TIA x

---

[Intro] Starting again for the third time
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:16:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4solpr/starting_again_for_the_third_time/
---
[removed]

---

[Intro] I've just been denying the inevitable.
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:12:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sokye/ive_just_been_denying_the_inevitable/
---
My body is covered in my failures and I need to make them go away. I am 50 pounds heavier than my lowest. Turns out losing weight is a lot easier at 14 than it is in your twenties.

I can't stand my body. It feels foreign to me. Every curve, every soft line, fills me with this overwhelming feeling of dread. I gave it a good, long try. But I don't think recovery is for me.

So I guess this is an introduction of sorts. Today is the last day I will ever weigh this much.

---

[Help] Low calorie foods that travel well
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:06:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sojss/low_calorie_foods_that_travel_well/
---
I have a couple of long journeys in the next few weeks and I'm thinking about the kind of foods to bring. The only thing I can think of is rice cakes and I'll be traveling with my friends and partner so I can't just eat 2 rice cakes and be done for the day. I have a few low cal cereal bars but they're not really high volume. Do you guys have any suggestions?

---

[Discussion] What usually leads to a binge for you?
/u/thinismygame [5'6" | 148 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 11:54:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sohib/what_usually_leads_to_a_binge_for_you/
---
I think one of the most important things to stop a binge is to identify situations that make me want to binge. I've been paying more attention to that, so I was wondering what you all have noticed! (Which may help me pick up on something for myself, too!)

One thing that always gets me is when I don't exercise. I feel like I wasted the day away and that I didn't burn enough calories anyway for a good deficit, so screw it. That leads to lots of couch sitting, food, and self-loathing.

---

[Rant/Rave] Lol my weight right now
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 11:40:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sof27/lol_my_weight_right_now/
---
Sunday: 110.6

Monday: 109.6.

Tuesday: 108.4.

Whaaaat the heck. My intake hasn't even been that great, I'm either eating +2,000 and purging or sub-900 (thank god for tea...) But I guess it's working? Not even two months ago I spiked up to 114.6 following a whole string of parties. I hadn't been that high in a long time. I'm glad I'm heading back down again, it makes my mistakes seem less threatening to my goals.

---

[Rant/Rave] Annoyed af -_-
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 11:39:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4soeqf/annoyed_af/
---
So people at work pointed out how I'm no longer getting the burgers and fries as my meal (I work in a restaurant and we get a free meal per shift) and I've been getting chicken breast and broccoli and eating half the chicken, when I used to down that burger and fries! It used to shock/impress my coworkers. Ew just thinking about that grosses me out.

Anyways, I ended up just telling my coworkers I'm eating healthier because I'm trying to lose weight and they were all like "you don't need to lose weight! You're already slim!" Blah blah blah but this one guy who is particularly creepy made a comment that pissed me off. I'm known for having a bubble butt and used to love it but now I feel ashamed and fat. People always comment on it and stuff so I know it's obvious too but I've come to hate these comments now. But my coworker had the nerve to say "lose all the weight you want, but don't lose that ass!" It was even in front of customers. it made me want to explode. I laughed it off but then I went to the bathroom and felt so anxious and cried a bit. Ugh.

Anyone else have issues like this with people telling them not to lose weight just because their body is already "slim" or seems to be their "type" therefore you shouldn't drop pounds?

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[Discussion] Calorie counts and ingredient lists are coming to big beer labels (finally!!)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 10:36:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4so2tb/calorie_counts_and_ingredient_lists_are_coming_to/
---
http://www.msn.com/en-us/foodanddrink/beverages/calorie-counts-and-ingredient-lists-are-coming-to-big-beer-labels/ar-BBugzsk?ocid=ansmsnfood11

---

[Rant/Rave] Road trip funk
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 10:23:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4so0ds/road_trip_funk/
---
Hey guys, I am really struggling right now... Not just with the ultimate stress that is finding suitable foods on a road trip, but also not getting sick of my loving, slightly clingy at times, boyfriend who loves to eat out and not at the healthiest places. So, back story, my boyfriend used to be quite over weight before we met. He lost a lot and will probably always be a bigger guy (he carries the weight well at 6'3") However, his eating habits conflict entirely with mine, and when I am basically trying to maintain during this trip, since it's almost impossible to lose on a road trip with a doting boyfriend hanging over your shoulder 24/7, He is constantly suggesting we go to steak houses and burger joints and the worst possible options in my mind to find low calorie food. Example, last night we arrived in California around 10 pm. We hadn't eaten anything really substantial all day and had walked a combined 7 miles (we went to a zoo, a park, 2 airports, around our hotel) so he wants to go to a burger place near the hotel. I agreed, since it was the only place still open, and I got a salad that the menu said had about 600 calories. In total for the day I probably clocked in a bit under my maintenance number (but boyfriend didn't help by ordering two sides and pushing his fries on me). Then while we were walking home, he was already making plans to go to a rib place the next day. I just can't escape it! Also, I feel terrible because he is driving me a little bit nutso. Like, I want to have a little down time here and there, read a book at a cafe, browse this sub by myself without him constantly there talking about politics and hugging/ kissing me. (That last part sounds weird, but he is Israeli and is very touchy/ lovey. It's awkward sometimes in public.) Anyway. Long rant about the last week and a half, still have about a week and a half to go before flying to Israel and I would love to hear any suggestions from you guys on how I should deal. Love you all and love this sub! Have a beautiful day :)

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 13 10:02:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4snwn3/daily_food_diary_july_13_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 13, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

My dabs spilled out of the chamber for my Pulsar APX. Is there any way to clean this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 13 09:46:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sntm1/my_dabs_spilled_out_of_the_chamber_for_my_pulsar/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/3c0c5c66055a4f4abd132071973dfb82?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=27495cd0e575ad92666004ee13448709

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[Discussion] Whats the reason behind appetite suppressant from diet soda?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Jul 13 09:31:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4snr1w/whats_the_reason_behind_appetite_suppressant_from/
---
Idek if there's an exact science, or if the taste just does it.

I think maybe sweetness + carbonation?

I just started drinking diet pepsi this week, and it's made restricting so freaking easy. I drink 16 ounces of water, 1 diet pepsi, 16 ounces of water, and back and forth like that. I've had 1 meal each day of raw broccoli and cherry tomatoes. It feels really sustainable and I'm a bit excited.

Anyone else have a "super power" for restricting?

---

[Discussion] anyone else here have a really prominent ribcage?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 13 09:27:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4snqae/anyone_else_here_have_a_really_prominent_ribcage/
---
even at my hw my ribcage still came out further than my stomach, when i reach my gw i am going to look skinny as fck and i am hyped. idk if this is a common thing or not tho

---

[Help] I gave in... does it count as a binge?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 08:33:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sngaw/i_gave_in_does_it_count_as_a_binge/
---
So I went on a lackluster first date last night (my bf and I are poly) and managed to avoid us going out for dinner, we just sat in the park and talked. But then I walked him to the subway and was on my way to my own station when I looked up some food places on my phone. I was relatively close to a very popular and delicious vegan spot so I thought I'd walk over and grab some avocado toast, not super low cal but delicious and filling for just one piece. Once I got there the line was around the corner so I peaced out of there pretty quickly. But then on my way to the train I hunted down a pizza place. I could have easily walked right past and been on my way home but I stopped in and got a white slice with black olives and a plain slice. I felt so disappointed in myself that I gave in. I always estimate a NY style pizza slice at 400 calories so that's 800 for just dinner! It only puts my daily total at 1,175 but I still feel it was too much. I've been using the 100 days no binge calendar that was uploaded last week (or the week prior?) and I'm wondering if I have to start over again? I already had to once because of this past weekend and I was hoping not to do that again but I ate so much in one sitting that part of me feels like I do. What do you guys think?

---

[Help] 112.4lbs to 109.8lbs overnight? Is any of this real weight loss?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Jul 13 08:16:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sndbq/1124lbs_to_1098lbs_overnight_is_any_of_this_real/
---
So, I've been steadily weight 113-112 pounds for about a week. Slowly inching down, but nothing super significant. The two days before yesterday, I had been eating at 300cal a day and purging with lax and still 12.4 on the dot every time I weigh. Of course everything came out with the lax, but for some reason last night, I decided to mix in stool softener pills as well (TMI? idk) and this morning after (a few) BMs I weighed 109.8lbs.

That's almost two pounds. I don't think there's anyway any of that is real weight. I WANT to lol but I'm assuming water and BM is the weight loss.

Confirm for me, please. My ED brain is feeling overwhelmed about this for whatever reason *sigh*

---

[Rant/Rave] Scale shananigans
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 07:09:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sn239/scale_shananigans/
---
[On mobile, will flare soon!]

So, I weigh myself every Wednesday and Sunday, and I step on my scale today to see it at 126.3. Great! About 5 minutes later I step on again to send a picture to the boyfriend and it reads as 127.0. UGH.

I started new meds a few days ago and they haven't started kicking in yet so I feel like I'm dying. I can see and feel the inner tube of fat around my waist and thighs. It's pissing me off and stressing me out.

Y'all, I really hope these meds start working and fast. I've got a few weeks until school starts back up again and don't want to be dealing with another med change...

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[Goal] I stopped mid-binge!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 13 06:37:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smxhh/i_stopped_midbinge/
---
[deleted]

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[Intro] Introduction~~
/u/EphemeralEm [5'2" | CW: 116.5 | GW: 101 | 21.3 | -1 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 06:28:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smw4a/introduction/
---
Hello! I've been looking at this subreddit for a while now, but this is the first time I've ever posted or commented :)

I should start by saying that I've never been formally diagnosed with an ED. When I admitted to my eating habits, I was encouraged to see a doctor about a diagnosis and a referral for inpatient care, but I declined. My eating habits are primarily focused on restriction through low cals, over-exercising, c/s, etc with occasional stretch of binging/severe overeating.

I am currently 5'2" and 116.5 lbs (as of a week or so ago) and I feel really uncomfortable at this weight. I went through a period of attempted recovery, where I tried to focus on fitness and what my body could do rather than how it looked. The longer I tried, the more uncomfortable I felt in my own skin, and I realized that I'm not in a place where I can work towards things like building muscle. I just want to feel light and empty again, and not pick myself apart in the mirror.

I would really like to get back to (or below!) my previous LW of 101 lbs. As such, I've been restricting again and it feels like a relief. I feel like things are slowly being brought back under my control. I'm also really glad to have found this subreddit; I didn't have a safe place to talk about how I feel and what I want to achieve before, and now that I do I feel so much better!

Thanks for reading! :)

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[Discussion] Who here has a Fitbit? Worth it?
/u/Jaaasss [5'3 | 114 | 21.2 | GW 100| F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 06:15:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smuae/who_here_has_a_fitbit_worth_it/
---
Tell me your experiences you wonderful people! Has it helped you? Is it even accurate? What do you mainly use it for?

They are quite pricy where i'm from, so just trying to weight up if it will actually be worth it! It would be nice to see how many calories I really do burn everyday.

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[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday July 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 13 06:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smshx/way_to_go_wednesday_july_13_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for July 13, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Thinspo] The scale has been going up and IDK why... Selfie today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 13 04:43:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smioc/the_scale_has_been_going_up_and_idk_why_selfie/
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http://i.imgur.com/x80hwl0.jpg

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[Help] Any kinds of workout that will burn calories without building muscle?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Wed Jul 13 04:32:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smhj4/any_kinds_of_workout_that_will_burn_calories/
---
Was about to do some squats but then I realised that they would probably build up muscle in my thighs, which is not at all what I want cos I'm far enough from having that coveted thigh gap as is. I'm thinking of starting to go to the gym just for the treadmills, but is there anything else that I could do at home as well?

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[Help] Best Android weight tracking app, like this Happy Scale I keep hearing about?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 13 03:58:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smdop/best_android_weight_tracking_app_like_this_happy/
---
I can't use Happy Scale because no iPhone, I have android.

I want to start seeing a graph of my weight and BMI mainly :x Which do you use?

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[Thinspo] A girl I used to follow on Tumblr
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 03:13:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sm8gv/a_girl_i_used_to_follow_on_tumblr/
---
http://i.imgur.com/mK10Xnc.jpg

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[Discussion] What's the weirdest/strangest thing your eating disorder has made you do?
/u/EasyPineapples [5'4 // CW 130 // 22.3 // -4 lbs // F ]
Created: Wed Jul 13 03:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sm7ae/whats_the_weirdeststrangest_thing_your_eating/
---
I think I've seen a post like this before and I'd like to see another one!

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[Discussion] How many pounds does a pair of jeans last you for?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -38 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 23:57:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4slmqy/how_many_pounds_does_a_pair_of_jeans_last_you_for/
---
I recently had to buy new pants and am in love with my AE high waisted jeggings. Normally I hate jeggings, but these are thick and don't stretch out or sag even after days of wear. Of course I cannot wait until they are loose, but at the same time hate the idea of wasting money.

I was curious how long you've managed to make a pair of pants last with weight loss. My pants from 15 pounds ago are horrendous looking now and I'm thinking that might be a fair assessment. It might be easier to keep these new ones up with the high waist, but only time will tell.

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[Thinspo] Digital painting thinspo - references?
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 23:27:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4slj5m/digital_painting_thinspo_references/
---
I've mentioned a few times here and there that i do amateur art on the side. I've been trying to branch into digital painting and portrait painting recently, but I'm so new at painting humans that I sometimes struggle without references. So I figured I'd come to you all for help! I'd love to see thinspo images that I could use as references for my digital painting in the future - especially ones at different angles, poses, etc.

For reference, here's something I'm currently working on:
[(Please ignore the nippleless boobs, she will have clothes soon)](http://i.imgur.com/G88Sn8P.png)

**edit**: wasn't sure whether to flair this as thinspo or as help?

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[Intro] parent expectations
/u/texas_native [5'6" | 118 | 19.05 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 22:25:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4slalx/parent_expectations/
---
I'm new here and I apologize - this is my first real post. I've been struggling with my mom lately, and just had a bad conversation with her. she first learned about my ED when I was 13 when she read my diary - 18 years ago. the severity of my ED has been off and on since then, but has never been a conversation outside of her telling me to stop throwing out my lunch at age 13...

flash forward to now - she recently told me that my tattoos are bad, that she doesn't know how I could "do that to your body." all the while it's stirring up feelings of shame and not-good-enough-ness. I wrote her trying to explain that it goes much deeper than that, that my body feels so foreign sometimes it's like I'm looking at an alien map I will never understand but have tried to be more forgiving of through years of therapy. to which she responds that we are of different generations, that she respects my "body art" etc. yet never acknowledges the fact that I feel so so blue, that I am reaching out not for help but for mere acknowledgement. despite not wanting a "fix" I feel so disappointed by her lack of understanding, by the ease she's able to gloss over the severity of how much i'm uncomfortable in my own body, by the one time I've ever slightly hinted at how deep this problem goes and how easily it's ignored.

anyone else out there with a similar situation? sorry again for the rant, just feeling real weird and sad about this. thank you all for being a community I can actually talk about this with <3

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[Rant/Rave] keep your dogs on a leash
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 12 22:08:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sl89p/keep_your_dogs_on_a_leash/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] XS clothes starting to be too big
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 89 lbs | 19.21 | -51| F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 22:03:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sl7op/xs_clothes_starting_to_be_too_big/
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I went to the mall and I fit into a size 0 at topshop and I also went to zara and XS on all the skirts were wayyy too big! I am a mix of emotions bc on one hand I'm pumped bc that means I'm losing but also I'm not even near how thin I wanna be so how will I find clothes when I reach my ugw?? Also zara is one of my favourite places to shop at and I wont be able to get bottoms from there anymore :'(

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[Rant/Rave] Not ED related but I need to vent. (Rant)
/u/Sighgal
Created: Tue Jul 12 21:50:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sl5vp/not_ed_related_but_i_need_to_vent_rant/
---
I have had probably one of the worst weeks of my life so far, and neither of you said a fucking word to me. I do something trivial like deactivate my Facebook and now your all on my dick? Suck one and leave me the fuck alone.

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[Other] I dreamt I was thin again
/u/OtterKat [5'5" | 115lbs | 19 | -5lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 21:38:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sl44v/i_dreamt_i_was_thin_again/
---
The other night I had a dream and it started out with me eating. However, I was eating without an ED over my shoulder. For a moment, I was free and just eating like a normal person. Then, I looked down at my legs and not only did I have a thigh gap, but I was able to wrap my hands around my thighs. I felt utterly free and peaceful, and today has been amazing. I remembered to take my EC stack and I didnt have the urge to binge at all. Even during family dinner I didnt finish my plate. I just kept remembering the feeling of being able to wrap my hands around my thigh, something I've never been able to do.

Im so motivated right now. But its not by self hate, but instead by joy and the thought of "I can do this"

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[Rant/Rave] I had something to say and it's a rant. A HUGE ONE that should probably just be in my diary if I had one
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:58:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sky72/i_had_something_to_say_and_its_a_rant_a_huge_one/
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I'm drunk. Nobody is around, little is in bed, lover is a state away, christ. I had something to say. I do. But regardless, I am so sick and tired of looking at myself. I've tried all angles, and none work, but what if was the fat girl? What if I was the perfect girl? What if I had assets (lol)? What if I looked different or striking even! I am so plain and my body is nothing so I decorate myself, my hair, my skin, my eyes everything i can in tattoos if i can afford it and beggar hair and fucking do piercings. I don't care for clothes, but I love these things. I love modifying my body and always have. But I am so frustrated that I am so broke I have no money to do more. I am feeling ao anxious. I need more and i am with nothing. Its nothing different than what our ancestors did. But I'd love to be bare. I have abnormally, fetishably small tits. I have bones the poke at THEIR convenience. I have a tummy left over from a beautiful little baby and not being a slave to sports anymore. I have an ass riddled with stretch marks that honestly make no sense because of my size and the ass I got rewarded with is fucking bullshit in comparison. I wish I could just leave and go get painted. Be the canvas I loved being. I hate being so broke. I'd love my body more if It were worth loving. Its so plain and fat and messed up in all the fucking wrong places. The least I can do to help my soul is change an decorate. Fuck my life and fuck my wallet and fuck my situation and fuck it. All of ot. I'll always be unhappy. And broke. And wanting. And needing. I never saw a future for myself, even when I was a kid dealing with this. I never had hobbies or ambitions or goals. Just stuck like this. I ain't suicidal or anything. Just fucking bored and angry. I guess that makes me less bored. But more angry. I just wait and wait and wait. Its not even when the shoe will drop. Its just fun gambling on which one.

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[Help] Bloated and Miserable
/u/not_an_actual_egg [5'3" | 126lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:56:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skxqz/bloated_and_miserable/
---
My stomach keeps making these ugly gurgling noises, and no matter how little I eat, the scale is stuck at 127.8. Also, a bit TMI, but I feel very stopped up :( I don't like it. I want to be empty inside but it's like I never remember that until I eat, but then its too late and it just feels like lead in the pit of my stomach. I'm not even hungry but I eat anyway. Thankfully I've been walking a lot (pokemon go shout out), but I don't know how to stop this ugly cycle of eating and regretting it. Or even remember that I can do things other than eat. Ugh. I feel like a mess

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[Rant/Rave] Vyvanse appointment
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:52:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skx90/vyvanse_appointment/
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I have an appointment Thursday to talk about being put on Vyvanse for binge eating. I'm so nervous I feel sick. My normal doctor is out on vacation so I have to see the male PA that I don't feel comfortable with. I'm freaking out, but I don't know what else do. I feel like this is my last hope.

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[Goal] Progress pics! F/5'6"/133lbs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:42:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skvp8/progress_pics_f56133lbs/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] Grocery shopping with ana b/p subtype
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:38:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skuxx/grocery_shopping_with_ana_bp_subtype/
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http://imgur.com/FKbnRgK

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progress pics! f/5'6"/133lbs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 12 19:58:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skopm/progress_pics_f56133lbs/
---
http://imgur.com/a/HncLo

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[Other] I never used to have dreams about food
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 18:08:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sk7uq/i_never_used_to_have_dreams_about_food/
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But lately I have been dreaming (or whatever you call it when you're an insomniac with a toddler) that I wake up and go downstairs and eat a whole box of cheezits. Its my old binge food. And then I move on to another snack. And in my dream I am rationalizing my binge and how I will handle the rest of the day. Then I wake up fucking scared that I slept ate, got drunk enough that I wouldn't remember eating, or in a medicated haze went and ate my pantry. I always check for evidence and I haven't been eating thank fuck, but it is absolutely terrifying!!! After the darling goes to sleep around 9, and my bf is out of town, I have my me time. I try to fall asleep by 12 but when you have so much on your mind it's usually almost time for her to wake up before my stupid brain shuts off. Who knows what goes on and I have a history of sleepwalking and other shenanigans lol. Idk I just thought I'd share my thoughts haha. Love you lovelies (:

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[Tip] Quick reminder: It's okay to feel how you feel. You are not bad. You are not worthless. You are not a lost cause. You are a human being. You have value.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 12 17:06:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjxuw/quick_reminder_its_okay_to_feel_how_you_feel_you/
---
How you plan to eat today or tomorrow or next week or whenever does not ever change that.

And ignore any mangy curs who refuse to understand, y'hear?

Stay safe, lovelies <3

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[Rant/Rave] Rant/Intro
/u/bitterorbetter [5'5| 145| 24.1 | -15 | F19]
Created: Tue Jul 12 17:00:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjwxt/rantintro/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Other communities like ours?
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 16:57:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjwe4/other_communities_like_ours/
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Not that I don't adore you guys, or that I'm not happy with the content here. I'm just curious about other online communities that anyone else might frequent. Especially after having one of my posts called out in that askreddit thread about what subreddits people unsubscribed from. :/ (Seriously, what the actual fuck. I know we're a very niche community, but for some random asshole to see that, come here, and then single out any of our posts or goals or habits is just uncalled for.)

I know of MPA, which I visit every now and then, and should probably be on a lot more often than I am. So where else do you guys get your fix and support from? :D

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[Tip] Pokemon GO
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 16:21:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjqln/pokemon_go/
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I hate exercise so much and never do it, but I have been walking ~4 miles a day because of this game! It's crazy. I actually *want* to get out of the house and do some walking.

#TeamMystic

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[Discussion] idk im worried about myself and my habits that I've had for ages and I just needed to get this off my chest to people that will understand
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | 84 | lol | i | F (trans)]
Created: Tue Jul 12 16:12:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjp08/idk_im_worried_about_myself_and_my_habits_that/
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So since I was kind of young I've always had weird eating habits... I would binge eat loads and then my dad would make me feel ashamed of the binge eating so I would do it in secret... when I got a bit older (16/17) I would add to this by evading breakfast and not eating at school so I was only having one meal a day, but oft times ending up binge eating on pasta or whatever at dinner, simultaneously undoing all of my progress and devastating my self esteem in the process.

After that I got to uni and got my habits under control for a long time using keto. I managed it for pretty much about a year. I didn't even sweat it the odd time that I fell off the wagon for a day, I just got back up on it. I was so proud of myself. I got to a not disgusting size.

The next year of uni started and I was terrible. I was under a lot of mental stress due to my course and the fact I was dealing with realising I was trans. I would do keto for a day or two, only to binge eat to deal with the depression for about a week, with odd days or two of fasting whenever I felt bad, then getting back on keto again and letting the cycle repeat. My self esteem was wrecked since I was basically eating my student loan, which made me feel worse and then I would eat more to try and deal with the increased depression and sadness which would make me put on weight and then I would see my male fat dist. and hate myself and then I would feel worse.

When I started my hormones things got somewhat better... I started doing keto for more sustained periods of time. But I'm really trash at it still and I do cheat and when I do my behaviours of fasting to try and offset it have remained. I've also started running, and now when I cheat I have a tendency to run myself ragged just to feel like I've purged the bad ive put into my body. Like it's 11pm and I'm planning to go on a run in a couple of more hours when there is absolutely no-one around so they can't see me. I've also taken to fasting for more extended periods of time to try and kickstart more weightloss.

I also obsessively calorie count, and get panicked of my carbs are over 20g on MFP. On another account I was actually told that my behaviour seemed problematic over at /r/keto. Of course I brushed it off and denied it. No one brings me up on it IRL because I'm very good at framing my habits as being cool and calculated and all very academic. I'm just that person who does weird diet shit to my friends. None of them know about my compulsive fasting or anything...

Honestly I feel like a fraud posting here... I don't think my problems are in anyway severe enough to be bothering people with my trash especially since I seem to be doing a good enough job keeping my behaviours from spiralling out of control. But another part of me thinks that I might just be in denial... being trans I have a lot of experience with being in denial, so against my better judgement I am forcing myself to post this here. Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to get this out and if you read to the end, thank-you <3

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anyone else at a point where they cant even enjoy "unhealthy/fatty" foods because of overwhelming guilt and regret?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:51:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjlgx/anyone_else_at_a_point_where_they_cant_even_enjoy/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] side-by-side
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:48:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjkz6/sidebyside/
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http://i.imgur.com/6E3j5gZ.jpg

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[Tip] Pokemon GO is a lifesaver.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:41:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjjr3/pokemon_go_is_a_lifesaver/
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I've fallen off the wagon recently, and gained back 15 pounds, but I just downloaded Pokemon GO and I walked 16 miles in 24 hours. I'm going to spend the next week lightly restricting (800 cals) while continuing to walk, and hopefully that will help me get back into losing weight again.

And anyone who hasn't gotten it, definitely try it out. It's such a good motivator, I walked over 15 miles without even realizing it!

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[Discussion] losing 100 lbs in 100 days possible?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:31:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjhzp/losing_100_lbs_in_100_days_possible/
---
i'm a 6 foot 4 male and i plan to stick to a very strict diet of 250-500 calories a day, mostly drinking diet soda to stay full. if i stick at this for 100 days, can i expect to lose anything between 70-100 lbs in 100 days? i'll try to walk for an hour at least 4 times a week, i have very little energy so an hour's walk would make me tired enough to sleep the rest of the day off, hence avoiding food altogether. i want to be skinny as possible for my 17th birthday in november...

edit: will be trying to stay in ketosis too

ps sorry for being so active 2nite, very anxious and posting kinda helps

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[Help] PHOTOSHOP TO GW???
/u/Metellyca
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sje7t/photoshop_to_gw/
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I was wondering if anyone was good at photoshop if I could like send them a picture of my body and they could photoshop it to look like thinspo?
I know that's super stupid but I thought I'd ask cause if I could get it done anywhere, it'd be Reddit

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[Help] TDEE question
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:01:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjcv8/tdee_question/
---
So i see /u/Glitter_Cunt post that TDEE spreadsheet every once in awhile and i decided to finally use it. To be fair, i only did it for a week bc there's always at least one day that i eat something that i don't know the exact calorie count of and i wanted it to be as accurate as possible. Anyway, i know its supposed to get more accurate the more days you input but after a week it said my TDEE is around 1700. I just found that really hard to believe. I was expecting more like 1400. Is that reasonable? Im 5'3.5" and as of today 107.6. I have a desk job so i really don't move around a whole lot. i didn't know if anyone had a reasonable guestimate as to if that sounds right and if not what my TDEE might actually be.

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[Rant/Rave] ignore me ugh (rant/nsfw)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 12 13:25:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4siuxf/ignore_me_ugh_rantnsfw/
---
for the first time in ages i'm eating a salad!!! a salad with fucking cheese and pasta and carbs. fucking kill me. obsession with calories has gotten to the point where i'll bite my nail and realize it has like 2 calories and it will throw me off and it'll increase my chances of binging like, 10x.

recently i've been SO fucking lonely but i feel like i can't even make friends to talk to anyone because i'm so fucking disgusting. i can't even hook up with some random person to make myself feel better because i am literally a fat fucking tragedy. i haven't dated anyone since september 2015 and i feel like i'm going to be single forever.

my entire life is on hold and i've got to lose this weight as fast as possible. i need to liquid fast until i'm 190 lbs and then drop down to 150 (i'll look somewhat normal then, still far af from the goal weight though). sigh. everything is such a fucking process.

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[Goal] [NSFW] 10 pounds and 3 months later (the new weight is first) from 145 to 135
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 12 13:05:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sir61/nsfw_10_pounds_and_3_months_later_the_new_weight/
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https://imgur.com/a/HP4dm

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[Discussion] Where is everybody from?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 12:15:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sihhx/where_is_everybody_from/
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You can share as much or as little as you like but I would love to have an idea of the diversity of this sub.


Denver, CO here.

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[Intro] Laxatives and EC stacks - an intro and some questions [trigger?]
/u/beauty_in_dirt [155 | 25.10 | 20lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 12:11:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sigpa/laxatives_and_ec_stacks_an_intro_and_some/
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Hi, I've been lurking for a while and thought I'd introduce myself. I read the rules but I'm still not sure if this type of post is allowed so I apologize in advance if this doesn't belong here. Just skip to the bold part for the questions. I will warn there's a lot of negative self-talk here that could be triggering for some people.

I'm 24F currently 5'6" and 160lbs. I'm very unhappy with my appearance and have been trying to lose weight, so far I've lost 15lbs since my highest weight, I reduced using conventional healthy methods of just eating smaller portions and eating less junk, but I've plateaued for over a year and started to resort to drastic measures to get the weight off.

The more I think about it, the more I realize I've never had a healthy relationship with food. When I was in my late teens up until I was about 19, I was a beautiful and slender and never over 115lbs. I ate very little and often ignored the feeling of hunger, but it was never for the purpose of losing weight or changing my appearance, I simply didn't think about food much. Actually I was born and raised by parents with high anxiety and my mom was a poor cook who would feed us meals I found incredibly unappetizing and feed me things she knew I despised. She also harped constantly about the cost of food and by the last year I lived with my parents, she'd stopped buying enough food to feed the family. Anyways I ate very little at meals and I realized later my appetite was suppressed pretty much constantly by my high anxiety.

Anyways around the time I was 20-22 I was working and no longer eating meals with the family, I started making my own food choices which weren't that great and gained until I was 130-135. It was around this point that I started feeling unsatisfied with my body. Genetically my body shape is ugly as hell, I have absolutely no boobs unless I'm fat and when I'm fat as I am now, all the weight goes to my stomach and waist, not to mention my chin. I could live with being fat maybe if the fat would go to my boobs, butt or waist and give me some semblance of an hourglass figure, but instead my stomach sticks out like I'm pregnant and I look like a stuffed sausage. If I have to have this ugly as fuck body shape I figure I should at least be thin.

Anyways after I moved out when I was 22, I got my anxiety under much better control, which came with the unfortunate side effect of getting my appetite back. That coupled with poor foos choices and having to go on medication (which I am off now thankfully) made me balloon up to 175 which I have thankfully lost 15lbs of.

The reason I say I've never had a healthy relationship with food is because I found when I started getting serious about calorie counting and trying to lose weight in a healthy manner, I ran into a problem with impulse control. I would see food and feel like I'd HAVE to eat it, and once I ate a little I couldn't stop, it'd become even harder to control myself and I'd go on a binge. It's almost like going into a trance. It's seriously starting to get out of control. My job entails working in client's houses and when they're not looking, I often stuff my face with their snacks or anything I can find. I could be fired over this if I got caught, but I can't seem to stop...

I feel like I'm wasting my youth by being fat and ugly. It breaks my heart looking at old photos of myself from even when I was 135, I was never super hot or anything but I looked so much better. I had no confidence because of my terrible acne and anxiety, now I have both of those under control and I'm fat. I feel like time is running out for me to be the beautiful person I want to be, who I feel like I could be inside.

**Onto the questions:**

1. I'm hearing a lot about EC stacks here, does anyone know where I could get an effective product/get ephedrine in Canada? I'm not sure if it's even legal here. Would caffeine pills by themselves give me some effectiveness? (Can't really drink coffee anymore due to a health issue)

2. I wanted to start laxatives but I read they can be quite dangerous, would it be okay to only use them 1-3x/week?

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[Rant/Rave] my replacement Fitbit just shipped!
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Tue Jul 12 12:03:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sif5d/my_replacement_fitbit_just_shipped/
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I just started a new job where I'm on my feet 7-12 hours a day 6 days a week & downloaded PokemonGo for after work (and for fun... obviously!). & with my Fitbit coming in 5 days, that's even more of an excuse to be on my feet. I hope I start losing faster soon. I've lost 4lbs these past 3 weeks which I'm proud of but I wanna get back to my lowest weight soon. I miss liking my body.

also sorry for no flair! on mobile

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[Other] back after hiatus; domestic disturbance is a trigger; babyman is killing me.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 11:26:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4si7s3/back_after_hiatus_domestic_disturbance_is_a/
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So, I'm back, after my vacation/family reunion and self imposed hiatus.

things of note:

* Like I expected, my super mad jelly cousin raised a stink about my weight loss. *~smugsmugsmug~*

* my mother's side of the family is Caribbean (I'm first gen american) so like most immigrant families, the preferred activities were drinking, fighting, and cooking. There was SO MUCH FOOD. On top of that, my aunt (who was hosting the party) is hella wealthy and a hoarder. I can't even begin to describe how much food there was (cooked and catered). Every morning it was a full Caribbean breakfast, then a mid morning meal + drinks + fighting, then lunch, the 2pm drinks + dinner prep + fighting, then dinner, then post dinner drinks + snacks, then 2am fried chicken + fighting + drinking + dancing for no god damn reason at all.

* I surprisingly only put on 3 lbs.

* however when I came back there was some bullshit with conjugal mustache that sent me into a week long binge.

* I've finally emerged from the binge haze, but I refuse to weigh myself for the next two weeks. I have no idea what I weigh, but today I felt like I looked thin, so...that motivated me to get back on here.

Things have been rough on the home front. Babyman has been going though ALL THE THINGS; teething, vaccine reaction, INTENSE separation anxiety, and developmental frustration (he's learning new skills, but gets frustrated because he hasn't perfected them). This in turn, has majorly stressed out conjugal mustache since he is the primary caretaker during the week. So his preferred method to de-stress is to drink and stay up on a manic gaming bender for 3 days straight. =\

So conjugal mustache and I have been fighting on and off for a week. UGH. However this morning at 4 am we had somewhat of a breakthrough, which, ho ho ho, coincided with my binge breakthrough.

So I think things are getting back to normal. I hope. I missed out on my exercise this morning because I was just too fucking tired after arguing at 4 am. Tomorrow I'm back at it, if babyman will allow it. Seriously, separation anxiety is THE WORST. He screams bloody murder if I so much as step into the bathroom to pee. Its gotten to the point were I just have to let him in there with me. I can't even shave my legs in the shower because the whole 5 minutes it takes me to shower results in babyman getting so angry/anxious he throws up on himself.

Anyway, if he refuses to be contained in his baby jail while I exercise I need to figure out something I can do while he toddles around. He's too squirmy to use as a weight, and hes too young to see/experience the fun in working out with mommy. Hm, I have a 15 minuter circuit I could do that might do the trick, its stationary enough that I can watch him, the only snag is that the mat activity is like an invitation to tumble all over me. Adorable in any other scenario, except when I'm trying to get my shit done for the day, lol.

Well that's that for an update. Time to have my watery soup lunch and hopefully remain in control for the rest of the day.

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[Discussion] C&S is really what's helping me transition back into restricing
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 10:40:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4shyk8/cs_is_really_whats_helping_me_transition_back/
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Fair warning, this is gross.

I know it's not a good habit, but tbh if I didn't chew and spit, I'd just binge instead. And that would make me want to purge. And I don't want to start doing that (even if I keep getting closer to doing it after every binge...anyways).

I have a horrible sweet tooth and used to just c&s desserts/muffins/pastries, which is easy cause they're all soft and sweet. Today I was really craving a hot, melty sub for lunch. Like so bad it was crazy. And I figured, wait, I can just c&s that too! Duh, it doesn't have to just be desserts! Except I picked a chicken parmesan sub and didn't think of how all the acidy tomato sauce would burn my mouth/throat. Rip.

But still, instead of giving in and saying "fuck it" and consuming 550 calories, I ate three bites and spit the rest out, drank a cup of water throughout, and now I'm full on 60 calories. I feel like this revelation is really gonna help me cut down on regular binges, as well as the dessert ones I used to have. Now if only I could have every meal in private so I could spit it all out. 😑

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[Goal] People have started asking me if I'm okay.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 12 10:34:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4shxd9/people_have_started_asking_me_if_im_okay/
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Only twice now, but it's started.

"You look a bit skinny in your new selfie. Is everything alright?" (FB message from someone who isn't even a close friend, but some random acquaintance)

"You're looking tiny... Are you okay?" (This one was JUST now, my mothers friend is visiting her)

Have no shame in admitting this was a sort of goal. I don't think I'm the only one here, right? Who *wants* to hear they look sick, as least sometimes (I imagine the novelty wears off if you're hearing it a lot and it gets annoying)

Not because I want people to think I'm sick though - I tell them I'm totally fine - it's just like, in my mind, if I look sick, I might be starting to look actually skinny. Rather than, "fake skinny, only skinny compared to fat people skinny".

I either want to look really muscled and toned and fit and healthy, or I want to look **skinny**. Since I've realised I can't achieve the former without freaking out about the more calorific diet needed, the latter will *absolutely* do.

Feeling motivated :)

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 12 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4shqvm/daily_food_diary_july_12_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 12, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Other] One hour into my first ever EC stack!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 09:16:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4shhya/one_hour_into_my_first_ever_ec_stack/
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I've always prided myself on my ability to restrict without a crutch. After the fourth of July weekend, where I was at my newly lowest weight, I just couldn't seem to get back on the horse. After getting on the scale yesterday and seeing that I had gained back about 5 lbs I knew something had to give.



I did my research, then headed to Walgreens and casually asked for the Bronkaid. Everyone is right, it's the most painless thing on the planet. After that, I went to Walmart and purchased bananas (potassium which was recommended) and L-Theanine (supposed to help with anxiety, which I get from caffeine sometimes).



This morning on my way to work, I had a banana and my L-Theanine pill. Once I got to work I took half a bronkaid tablet with a cup of coffee. Very low doses here but I really need to know how my body responds because I'm paranoid as fuck!



So far so good! I can definitely tell that it's working because I feel focused (a calm focused, not sure if that's from the L-Theanine), and most importantly NOT HUNGRY! Yipee! Typically I would be day dreaming about food right now, but nothing sounds particularly good.



QUESTION for all you EC vets out there. Whenever I type into google "EC stack", it comes up with "ECA stack" which includes taking asprin with the doses. Why doesn't this sub do that?



TLDR; I'm still alive.

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[Help] EC Stack Help (quantity/dosage)
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 118.8 lbs | 24.43 | -23 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 06:57:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgu9l/ec_stack_help_quantitydosage/
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Morning (or afternoon/evening depending on where you're all from)! I finally managed to get my hands on some caffeine pills (200 mg) and ephedrine (8mg) and was wondering what you guys would recommend as a dosage.

My first day I took half a caffeine pill and one ephedrine and I just haven't gotten the chance to take it again.

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[Discussion] Super relieved!! :D
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 12 06:22:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgph6/super_relieved_d/
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Yesterday was my planned cheat day and I ate A LOT. around 1375 calories total that day, and I thought I would definitely gain or not stay the same. But.... I ACTUALLY LOST WEIGHT!! :D I hit a new LW today of 115.4lbs and I'm so proud of myself. This just goes to show that bingeing isnt always that bad and you can still get away with it sometimes and it's good to have a planned day because you're more in control. I wish everyone good luck today! :D

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 12 06:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgmuf/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_12_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Discussion] Does anyone get to the point where they are so hungry they feel like puking?
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 05:04:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgfmi/does_anyone_get_to_the_point_where_they_are_so/
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It's 4am, I'm shaking and I had to wake my mom up because I got the strongest feeling that I was going to puke, and I couldn't make it downstairs. I lay down while she got a bucket and time made the immediate feeling go away, but I have lingering nausea. I find it kind of ironic that in order to combat starvation, your body makes you feel so sick that you can't think about eating, and you also throw up whatever's in your stomach.

My mom said it's because I didn't eat anything yesterday. I don't want to waste food, but I feel like pretending to eat in front of my parents so they don't suspect anything (and then throwing snacks away).

Anyway, how do you guys combat nausea?

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[Rant/Rave] Before/After Photos Making me feel worse
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 04:50:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgdzx/beforeafter_photos_making_me_feel_worse/
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So I have a 'before' photo from when I was 12 lbs bigger than I am now and I took another one to compare it with. I guess that's more 'before' and 'during' as I am nowhere near my goal. But I really expected comparing these pictures to make me feel better. I have dropped 21 lbs total and can fit into a lot of my old 'skinny' clothes, I am already an XS in Urban Outfitters (what the hell am I going to do when I am actually skinny??) So I have been feeling quite good about myself.

But I look at these photos side by side, same location, same underwear SAME FUCKING SHAPE. I can't see any difference in the way I look at all. Maybe a tiny bit smaller waist, but the hips are the same, still my legs touch all the way down and still my tummy sticks out.

Sigh. I am getting a tape measure today so I can track that way as well. I am not taking another photo until I have lost another 10lbs at least.

Has this happened to anyone else??

I would post the photos here for you guys to see, but I am too worried that someone I know IRL would see it (and of course I am ashamed about how big I am)

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[Help] 68 hours into my fast! Having trouble drinking enough water though?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Tue Jul 12 03:10:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sg3fp/68_hours_into_my_fast_having_trouble_drinking/
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Every time I drink water, I get even more nauseous. I have headaches as well. I aim to drink 2,800 ml of water a day. Is this too much since I'm fasting or is it a good thing?


Am I feeling shitty because of my electrolytes? Should I drink some broth? I don't really feel like eating so I want to go for as long as I can or until someone forces me to eat. I am going back to college this thursday though so I want to stay focused. What can I drink that will help with that but will keep me from breaking my fast?


Sorry if I sound a bit weird or out of it, I'm trying really hard to make sense haha

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[Intro] hi hi hi.
/u/kuffe [185cm | CW: 69.9g | BMI: 20.3 | -26kg | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 02:18:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sfyaf/hi_hi_hi/
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idk what to really put on introductions, but i'ma try at least. i hope this intro isn't too lame. ):

hi, i'm kuffe, i have been lurking for a while on my main account. i would have introduced myself on there, but too many people know that account, even my family is aware of it and i think i made this account so i could just have support without judgement.

i'm 21 and i have had an eating disorder on and off since i was 13. it's like i sometimes think i'm fine, then i have moments where i'm not and get pulled back into it. my parents were always anti-therapy so i never got help for it and i'm too scared to get into that alone now, plus i don't think i'm ready just yet.

i'm currently at my lowest weight. and i really wish that i could stop, but i'm addicted to the number on the scale so i just can't. i'm also addicted to other things i shouldn't be. it's been like this since i was barely a teenager.

that aside, i'm just your average face. i like gaming (pc), going on spotify adventures, fashion, going on long as hell walks, talking a lot, also sleep is pretty cool and also following cats in the hopes of petting them.

so ye i hope i can find some support here, because you guys and girls seem amazing at that.

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[Help] Advice on how to prep for a photoshoot sunday
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Mon Jul 11 23:19:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sfdzy/advice_on_how_to_prep_for_a_photoshoot_sunday/
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My wrestling league is doing a photoshoot in our costumes on Sunday and I'm scrambling trying to figure out the best way to look my best for it. Doesn't help that my newest character wears tights and a crop top. Also, I'm not one for getting my photo taken since I was overweight for my teens/early 20s and hid from a lens like the plague.

I don't have fat that hangs over my tights, but I'm still self conscious about my stomach. Hoping there's more group shots than solo since I'll look tiny in comparison (I'm one of the smallest in height and build). Considering trying what wrestlers/mma fighters do to cut before a weigh in. That means restrictive keto, overload on water early in the week to none day of and hitting up a sauna the few days before the shoot. Downside to that plan is there's a surprise party I'm going to the night before and we're taking a kickboxing class a couple of hours before the shoot. Don't want to faint in front of the team.

Does anyone have advice on ways to prep so I don't look like a spandex-clad whale posing in a ring? Also, posing advice would be greatly appreciated since there's probably more photographic evidence of big foot than me.

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[Help] I did my first full day fast today - but sipping on 50 calorie hot chocolate mix now. Am I still fasting?
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Mon Jul 11 23:08:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sfcin/i_did_my_first_full_day_fast_today_but_sipping_on/
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Some people are strict, and I've asked before if eating 15 calorie popsicles during the day still counted but I guess thats just extremely low calorie - which is understandable.

Just curious if I am wasting the "benefits of fasting" from this drink (that seriously is awesome by the way for 50 effing calories).

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[Rant/Rave] No one ever wants to take my picture
/u/Randomusername2233 [5'6" |148 | 22.6 | 21.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 22:30:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sf7oh/no_one_ever_wants_to_take_my_picture/
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I've only just understood this, and maybe it's ridiculous but it's something that's always bothered me. No one ever asks to take my picture. Family gathering, friends partying, even with my kid and boyfriend. They always ask if I'll take photos of them. No one ever asks to take my picture. All of my photos of my kids' birthdays, with my bf, whom I love dearly, always them but I'm only there if I take selfies. What's wrong with me? Am I ugly? Forgettable? Fat? Shameful? I hate myself.

Edit: wording. Also, Who Fucking cares.
Edit #2: First, holy drunken rant Batman. Sorry 'bout that :/ Second, I fucking love you all so much, thank you thank you thank you! Seeing these comments this morning made my whole day <3 This is the best sub EVER.

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[Discussion] Do you ever feel like you aren't sick "enough"?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 11 22:08:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sf4rd/do_you_ever_feel_like_you_arent_sick_enough/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] What does "safe food" mean for you?
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Mon Jul 11 21:40:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sf12j/what_does_safe_food_mean_for_you/
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For some of us it's foods that don't make you want to purge. For others it's food you don't meticulously count or food that you can safely binge. I'd love to hear your take on it, and maybe some of your favorite safe foods? The "rules" thread from the other day was awesome! Anything you have to say along those lines is welcome too.

Thanks lovelies <3

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[Intro] So, hi.
/u/swarleyandme [5'11" | 200.6 | 27.08 | -89.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 21:35:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sf0cd/so_hi/
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I'm not entirely sure where to begin and have never been particularly great at introductions, so I guess I'll just cut right to it.

I've struggled with mental illness my whole life and, for the first few decades at least, was a huge emotional eater. When I was 19-20 I weighed just upwards of 300lbs. For a time, my other mental illnesses quieted down and I was able to focus on my weight. Over the course of a year and a half, I managed to drop down to about 180lbs. That was about a year ago. Unfortunately my issues reared back up and between the trips to the hospital, various combinations of antidepressants, and general lack to do... anything, I'm where I'm at today, ~206lbs.

I hate it. I hate myself. Sure, I still wasn't perfectly happy at 180, but at least I had that accomplishment. By slipping so far, it's like it never happened or I did that work for nothing. I'm terrified of gaining any more weight and disgusted by what I have gained back already. I'm scared of posting here after looking at everyone's flairs and seeing that I'm so overweight.

Turned a bit ranty there at the end, sorry. Anyway, yeah, hello.

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[Discussion] Do any of you have friends with EDs? Does it make things easier?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Mon Jul 11 21:17:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sexy0/do_any_of_you_have_friends_with_eds_does_it_make/
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Sometimes I wish I had a friend with an ED so that I'd have someone who understands me, and so that we could go out and not have it revolve around food.

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Meh.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:42:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sestz/rant_meh/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Annoying shit a dietician/nutritionist has said to you?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:27:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seqdp/annoying_shit_a_dieticiannutritionist_has_said_to/
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Ok so I know I said I was leaving this sub, but I just wanted to post this and vent a bit (and hear your all's stories).

**TL;DR**: A dietician I saw was fat and said "people actually don't like you better when you're thin." HA. I wish that were true. What is some of the stupid shit dieticians have said to you?

-

Basically, when I was in the hospital, they had me see a dietician. First of all, **SHE WAS OVERWEIGHT**. WTF? Like, I know she can still know stuff about nutrition... But, if she's overweight, she's eating like shit probably. She needs to fucking practice what she preaches. Idk. Maybe I'm disordered and fucked up for thinking all of this and the following. You tell me.

Anyway, we got to talking, and she stressed that I'm underweight. My standard BMI is 18.4. That's BARELY underweight. I feel like concern should start happening below 18, but whatever. I told her I had started to get better and eat around 1400 calories a day. This way I could counteract a day of overeating one night or whatever. She didn't understand this. She just kept pushing 1600 calories a day on me. Like, even before my relapse I was gaining slowly. Because eating at maintenance every day and then overeating occasionally WILL CAUSE WEIGHT GAIN, OBVSIES. I feel like, objectively, 1400 calories is a really good amount. I do almost no exercise, so my TDEE is at right about 1650. That deficit will allow me to overeat occasionally. I ended up just telling her I would eat 1600 to get them to stop worrying. I know that's shitty, but I'm not going above 1400. No way in hell.

I think the most annoying thing she said to me was "I used to be thin. But then I gave that up eventually. I realized people don't like you better when you're thin, so it doesn't matter." **I** make my body how **I** want it to look **for me**. Also, PEOPLE **DO** LIKE YOU BETTER WHEN YOU'RE THIN. It's been shown in several studies (and just life, lol) that people treat people who fit beauty standards better. It's objectively true. Idk. Vent over.

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[Discussion] Burning calories by being cold at night?
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:25:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seq24/burning_calories_by_being_cold_at_night/
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Realistically, does this even put a dent in calorie use? I know it's ridiculous and lazy (I should consider exercise first, etc), but I wanted to ask this question because I want to be an efficient fat burning motherfucker.

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[Goal] Finally size 2 and more prominent collarbones
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:22:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sepqh/finally_size_2_and_more_prominent_collarbones/
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I'm kind of embarrassed to post this bc I look pretty big in this picture and most of you guys are probably a 00/0 but it's progress for me. You have to be a size 2 before you're a 0, so it's one step closer, right?

[Here is me looking chunky af but wearing a pair of size 2 shorts](http://imgur.com/8hwHLqY)

[Here is a selfie of me with my collarbones looking sharper than usual](http://imgur.com/90TZi46)


I'm happy to have met these goals but also ashamed that I let myself get so big that this is an accomplishment. There's some people that would be devastated if they woke up and were a US size 2 so it feels kind of pathetic that I'm happy about it? Ugh. Hopefully I can use this as a before picture in a few weeks or months!

---

[Help] EC Stacks + Trintellix?
/u/lithelife [5'4''| CM: 35-27-39| GM: 33-23-36 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:18:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seoya/ec_stacks_trintellix/
---
Has anyone ever taken ephedrine while on Trintellix? It's a fairly recently-created, atypical antidepressant, and there haven't been very many studies on it, let alone its interactions. Thanks! x

---

[Rant/Rave] PSA and Rant about the Keto subs
/u/_-TAWat-_ [5'3" | 31F | UGW 110.2#]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4semk2/psa_and_rant_about_the_keto_subs/
---
Beware: there's a B---H in the keto subs that stalks history and constantly calls people out for posting on /r/proED to discredit anything you say over there.

She hasn't done it to me, personally, but her calling someone out is how I actually found this awesome sub!

TBH, us ED'ers make the BEST candidates for tips on sticking to keto - we're so used to meticulously tracking!

---

[Goal] I don't completely hate my legs anymore!
/u/silverturtle [5'2" | 114 | 21.6 | -16 | F/23]
Created: Mon Jul 11 19:39:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seiut/i_dont_completely_hate_my_legs_anymore/
---
http://imgur.com/OC1LaYB

---

[Help] Do laxatives work well?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 18:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sebqk/do_laxatives_work_well/
---
Also what kind should I get? I think I'm going to go to the store, pull the trigger on EC stacks and also pick up some laxatives. I'm fucking done playing games with my bag of chips eating self rn.

edit: After glitter_cunt shared the perils of laxatives with me, I've decided to go the EC stack route. Will post a new status in the morning about how that goes

---

[Rant/Rave] So a 'western'-type grocery shop opened in our city...
/u/sadworldmap [5'1" | CW: 110lbs | BMI: 20.8 | GW: 98lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 11 18:51:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sebd6/so_a_westerntype_grocery_shop_opened_in_our_city/
---
Our city is small, ruralish and a bit backwards but I love it for its farmers markets, small mom-and-pop shops and quaint bodies of water (sea, rivers, ponds) but just a week ago a western-type grocery shop 'Seiyu' - similar to Walmart / Costco - opened a few blocks from where I work.

Because it's a new place, my good friend / co-worker wanted to see how the grocery looks like. She has a special membership card, too. I've googled the goods so I can be guarded and wary about buying the 'bad' stuff.

So we go in and THE PLACE IS HUGE. Literally a WAREHOUSE. It's the size of a nearby mall. But here it's all GROCERIES and FOOD and HOME/KITCHEN STUFF. A mall full of food. My friend was excited but I was sweating a bit when we went in to the food aisles. Huge chips, crisps, crackers, more chips, huge displays of chocolate boxes... I was floored and overwhelmed with too much FOOD. And in wholesale packaging too! Literally huge ketchups, big versions of the chips I used to buy in smaller packets, wholesale boxes of canned food. And all these chocolate, oh this will be one is my downfall.

Then I realized these goods were all WESTERN brands: from the UK, US, and some parts of EUROPE (cheeses). Immediately I think of how difficult it must all be for you. ALL THESE FOOD CHOICES. BAD ONES AT THAT. I'm a bit sure that these kinds of grocery warehouses are normal places for the US, but here not so much, but theres just so much in one place. I... I don't quite know how you all do it guys. I was so curious of how those European pretzel tastes, the bags of muffins, the types of US/Australian chocolates. I had to restrain, restrain, restrain. I wanted everything. In the end I grabbed a pack of expensive strawberries ('Driscols' - we don't have that here!)

TL;DR New grocery warehouse opened filled with nothing but the worst kind of food for me; thought how difficult it must all be for you.

---

[Help] Could anyone help me make my (hopefully) last weight loss goal?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 11 18:50:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seb92/could_anyone_help_me_make_my_hopefully_last/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Does anyone know who this is?
/u/ALonelySeaCucumber [5'6" | CW 152.8 GW 110 | 24.7 | -7.2 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 18:13:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4se58t/does_anyone_know_who_this_is/
---
http://imgur.com/lh6LWVd

---

[Other] Basically my food intake for the next week.
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 17:51:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4se1rn/basically_my_food_intake_for_the_next_week/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/23e2906340d2453ab8e96c6e3901da59?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=24c3b0116317ef73ba366b1a49caff2d

---

[Rant/Rave] Can't wait to be thin and effortlessly look amazing in clothes.
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 17:26:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdxvk/cant_wait_to_be_thin_and_effortlessly_look/
---
I don't have a boyfriend or even really want to be thin for my friends or for other people. I want to be thin so I can look at myself wearing clothes I thought look nice on the model/on the mannequin and think they still look amazing on me.

Whenever I see a picture of a thin girl making simple clothes look chic I save it in my thinspo folder. One day, that'll be me too.

P.s. if you have pics that you think would add to my thinspo, dm me...

---

[Rant/Rave] I finally met someone else with an ED (that I know of)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 11 17:00:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdtiq/i_finally_met_someone_else_with_an_ed_that_i_know/
---
There we were, having our first night out as friends and she just starts talking about how she's struggled with an ED for years but now has a healthy relationship with food. No prompt, not super related to the conversation, she just kind of threw it out there. And I didn't say anything. I only felt bad, because she was actually trying to get better and I'm not. At the same time her bringing it up made me conscious about my own ED, so I couldn't finish my stupid fucking appy. When I went home I was just sad that I felt like I couldn't say anything. As much as I wish I could talk to someone about how it feels, the last thing I wanted to do was trigger her.

We're hanging out again soon, and it seems to be a topic she easily brings up. I'm just afraid that after a few drinks I'll have an overshare moment where I let slip that I'm still restricting, and one of two things will happen; she'll either try to "help" me into recovery, or I'll be too much of a reminder of her ED and she won't want to be my friend anymore.



Just my fucking luck right? And I know that if you have an ED you tend to pick up on other people with ED's behavior, so I really hope she didn't notice anything.

---

[Help] Hit weight loss plateau :(
/u/scrambledmegs97 [5'6 | 101 | 16.3 | -20lb| f]
Created: Mon Jul 11 16:55:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdsr9/hit_weight_loss_plateau/
---
So, I haven't lost a single pound for about a week and a half and I"m starting to panic. I never eat more than 400 calories a day, and I have a full time job as a pastry chef that requires me to be standing/walking constantly. On top of that I usually go on a five mile walk everyday. I'm so exhausted, but I'm not losing any weight anymore. Could anyone help explain why? Is it water weight? I drink constantly to curb my appetite. I can't give up. Losing weight is what makes my day bearable.

---

[Goal] Finally starting to really notice progress!!
/u/tokkibun
Created: Mon Jul 11 16:35:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdpdd/finally_starting_to_really_notice_progress/
---
https://imgur.com/a/0lhZ3

Kind of nervous that someone that I know irl will see this, but whatever.

---

[Discussion] Restricting/Bingeing?
/u/witchy2628
Created: Mon Jul 11 15:27:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sddu4/restrictingbingeing/
---
Sorry no flair I only have a phone. I restrict to 500-800 calories a day but if I don't know the calories in something I eat, I immediately just think "well, fuck it" and binge for the rest of the day! Does anyone else get like this/have any tips on how to control it?? It's like it's all or nothing for me.

---

[Rant/Rave] Now I know why I cut off most of my friendships
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Jul 11 15:18:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdccr/now_i_know_why_i_cut_off_most_of_my_friendships/
---
Most of the time it involves food. I went to the zoo on Saturday; picknick. Got to a friend on Sunday; yay let's bake muffins. Work with a friend earlier today; aw yay we are making lasagna for dinner!! Look I even brought meatless meat so your vegan excuse doesn't work!!!

Fuck it's so hard. I wish I had ED friends living closer to me :(

---

[Help] My stomach is ridiculously bloated what could be causes of this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 11 15:07:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdaep/my_stomach_is_ridiculously_bloated_what_could_be/
---
That's it, restricting or not, my stomach sometimes gets insanely bloated and other days it's fairly normal looking. I wouldn't really have a problem with it (I know it's not fat) if it weren't for the fact that from the side my stomach can be twice as brought as my upper tighs. So yeah, I'm looking for ways to fix this. I know always sucking my stomach in helps, but it only does so much and when I forget to do it I look like I'm pregnant, not ideal either when you're 18 and look 15.

So yeah, any tips?

---

[Help] Turns out telling yourself you won't care about what you eat doesn't help anything lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 11 15:01:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sd9aw/turns_out_telling_yourself_you_wont_care_about/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] I've been emotionally abused my entire life by my parents and I'm getting kicked out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 11 14:09:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sczwu/ive_been_emotionally_abused_my_entire_life_by_my/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Favourite thing to watch/do when fighting the urge to binge?
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 148.4 | 24.51 | -14.6 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 14:08:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sczom/favourite_thing_to_watchdo_when_fighting_the_urge/
---
I'm not usually one for reverse-thinspo, partly because I always feel a bit guilty using someone else's body in that way. But lately I've been heavily restricting and exercising a fair amount, and I've been watching a lot of "reverse-thinspo" type stuff to get me through nights where I really want to binge. So far I've watched a lot of "plus-size" fashion videos, particularly bikini ones (I feel a little bad but also...meh) and my 600 lb life. Anything weight related usually has me interested. What are your favourite things to do or watch?

---

[Goal] So, I did it.
/u/Avadakaboom [5'8.5" | 135lbs | 19.94 | -95 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 13:57:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4scxk8/so_i_did_it/
---
I reached 135 yesterday. I still feel huge and disgusting. I know, objectively, you can see my ribs and my hip bones but it's still not enough. 130, maybe.

Fuck.

---

[Discussion] Too much water?
/u/ooo5936 [5'6" | 124.2lbs | GW: 115 | -8.6lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 13:26:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4scrqw/too_much_water/
---
I am wondering if it's possible to drink *too* much water. I pee like a racehorse, but I find that I sometimes I feel bloated because of how much water I drink. But then it distracts me from the food I'm not eating.

Does anyone else drink too much water?

---

[Rant/Rave] Celebrating 8 days without a binge
/u/MommyTemple [5'9 | 166 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 13:01:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4scmzk/celebrating_8_days_without_a_binge/
---
I wanted to write this update for a few days now...but I've been either busy all day or away from stable internet and my laptop. A lot of stuff happened and I'll try to write down all the relevant stuff:


I went through 7 days of good restriction; Sunday, however, was questionable. I did not binge - but together with SO we ate too much. I knew that my eating would get more liberal during the weekend and indeed, on Saturday I ate bit more than usual, but I kept it low. Sunday started out okay: I had a generous scoop of ice cream from a popular place somewhere before noon, but we were on the move then so I thought, okay, I will burn off at least some of it. Ate a small lunch, as planned. Then, dinner...we ate a lot of stuff, in small portions. We had sausages, sauerkraut, some exotic fruit, potato chips, homemade choco chip cookies, washed down with diet coke. Like I said, everything in small portions and we did not finish the chips and cookies. And not even 30 minutes later, food hit my gut and everything rebelled. Without going into much detail, I spent the rest of the evening in the toilet and went to bed in a very uncomfortable state.


I'm taking this as a sign to never ever go overboard with food again.


I am having a hard time emotionally and mentally, of course. In short, since food was my go to distraction from everything bad and life in general, without it now I have to face a ton of stuff. And I actually feel so bad because of it I am put off food. Can I say that's so ironic? Is that the right word? Anyway, restriction is not a problem, it's pretty easy right now. But the real challenge begins after two weeks, then after the first month, then after another two weeks...I still get binge thoughts and urges, but I've been able to fight them off successfully so far.


I'm happy for the progress so far. The weight is going down, but it's just the beginning. That's what I've been thinking about a lot this past week - how this is a process that takes so. much. time. After the water weight is gone, when the real fat burning begins, there's only so much pounds you can lose withing a week, for instance. That's when the real fight begins.



Thank you all for being here and reading, I will try to be more active, and I dedicate this post to everyone struggling with binge eating on this sub. There's always hope and there's always a way.

---

[Discussion] sup fellow hungry people
/u/THORFINN_THE_DANE
Created: Mon Jul 11 12:48:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sckj2/sup_fellow_hungry_people/
---
I've run out of money and can't afford food (gonna be homeless soon). I haven't eaten all day (it's the afternoon now) and I have barely any stomach pain, I feel good. I'm sort of mentally out of it and physically weak which I love. All I wanna do is sleep forever. I want to keep this going until I slip away peacefully or am hospitalized and get to have fun IVs.

I don't care much about being fat or thin though I'm slightly overweight. Would this count as an eating disorder?

I'm a guy, don't know how many guys are on this forum... sorry if this was rambly.

---

[Rant/Rave] Just another post about how wonderful you people are
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 12:23:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4scfg3/just_another_post_about_how_wonderful_you_people/
---
I have had an eating disorder since I was twelve years old. I found out it was an eating disorder when I was twenty-one years old. Finding out that my style of eating and exercise was disordered changed everything. Suddenly I felt like I was carrying a huge lie around with me everywhere. I feared that I was going to die. I felt guilty constantly for doing what I was doing. But I wasn't doing anything differently than I'd been doing for almost a decade.

At the same time, I suddenly felt like an imposter. Because my last truly low weight was when I was eighteen, every time since then had to be a lie. I was a person trying to have an eating disorder, which is the worst, because you shouldn't /try/ to have an eating disorder. That's fucked up.

And then I found you guys. Right at the midst of my worst relapse since college, I found you all and I felt normal again. I learned that I'm not an imposter if I'm not super skinny right now. I learned that my issues are valid, and truly hard, and I'm allowed to struggle with them. I learned that there were people just like me all over the place, and then those people showered me with love and kindness.

You people are incredible. I'm so grateful for you. Avoiding binges is getting easier thanks to you. Choosing occasionally to eat something I like is getting easier thanks to you. I'm also losing weight at a better rate thanks to you. I'm more cognizant of all the NSVs in my life thanks to you.

I can see a not-so-distant future of maintaining a low weight, of restricting lightly and easily, of only binging if I choose to on purpose, of true control. I have hope that I'll get there, and it's only thanks to you all.

Thank you, proed community. You gorgeous horde of lovely humans. You're saving my sanity and possibly my life.

(Tiny side note of joy: my BMI is under 19 for the first time since college and I'm SO HAPPY ABOUT IT.)

---

[Help] Nausea with EC stacks?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 12:23:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4scfdh/nausea_with_ec_stacks/
---
Anyone else experience it? Found a way to deal with it? I've been stacking for 5-6 months and I've yet to figure it out

---

[Thinspo] Wrist-bone thinspo goals
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 12:21:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4scez8/wristbone_thinspo_goals/
---
http://i.imgur.com/lUtYMAr.jpg

---

[Tip] [Recipe-lunch] Salad w/ Low-fat Cottage Cheese and rasberry vinaigrette
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 11:20:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sc2t6/recipelunch_salad_w_lowfat_cottage_cheese_and/
---
http://imgur.com/XrspWN3

---

[Tip] How to think about food.
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 10:52:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sbxbp/how_to_think_about_food/
---
IDK if this will help anyone, but it is something me and a friend had a conversation about a long time ago and I feel like it applies.


I used to think that when people quit smoking cigarettes and became those *holier than thou, cigarettes are so fucking disgusting* people were SOO annoying.


But I kind of get it. You enjoy smoking, its like drinking nectar with the gods. The only way to get yourself to quit is you have to go all the way the other way with it. Be literally repulsed by them. It's hard to maintain a blaise stance to smokes and stay away from them, you have to loathe them... Do you see where I'm going with this?

---

[Help] Need some help determining goals
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 10:30:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sbsyz/need_some_help_determining_goals/
---
I'm a very visual person (duh, I think we all are), so I used to think that my UGW was 110. Well I'm 5'4, and some peoples UGW on here is 110 but they are 5'8. I imagine a 110 5'8 person looks striking next to a 5'3 110. As I get closer to my goal I realize it's not quite the look I'm going for.


Do any of you guys have resources of different women (preferably my height), and what they weigh? What I'm looking for here is to look through some different weights to decide what I would ideally like to look like and create more realistic goals for myself.

Any tips, pics, or tools will be greatly appreciated.

---

[Other] Baby's First EC Stack
/u/lunaticsloverspoets
Created: Mon Jul 11 10:17:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sbqcp/babys_first_ec_stack/
---
You guys... I don't know what a cocaine high feels like. But I think it probably feels like this. Holy ballz.

Edit- PS sorry for no flair... I'm on mobile!

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 11 10:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sbnob/daily_food_diary_july_11_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 11, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Intro] I finally exercised (long intro/backstory/ pointless)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 11 09:21:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sbfu6/i_finally_exercised_long_introbackstory_pointless/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] And not eat.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 08:57:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sbb4y/and_not_eat/
---
http://imgur.com/UvRs64g

---

[Help] Blowies From Bulimics (TMI?)
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 08:47:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sb9d5/blowies_from_bulimics_tmi/
---
So I have a super big problem right now. I have just entered a new relationship and his dick is not the same shape as the one I'm used to. Which is fine in all aspects except for blowjobs, as his dick when fully hard curves somewhat down at the end *shocked face*! I have never experienced this before.

I love giving blow jobs for many reasons (one of which is I am fucking A at them), but everytime I try to go down all the way, it hits me right in the gag reflex. Honestly, I have tried it twice and I literally have puked (just bile) on his dick twice.

I can't talk to him about it because I don't want to reveal my ed, but I also don't want to lose one of my signature moves. Anyone have any advice?

---

[Thinspo] Since I don't see a lot of male thinspo I made an album of Kpop guys :) (40 pictures)
/u/usmatade [5'5 | 124 | 20.51 | -20 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 08:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sb4hd/since_i_dont_see_a_lot_of_male_thinspo_i_made_an/
---
http://imgur.com/a/b3dEC

---

[Tip] [Recipe-Breakfast] Toasted cheese and jelly crumpet
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 07:54:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sb0sg/recipebreakfast_toasted_cheese_and_jelly_crumpet/
---
http://imgur.com/FXjuEd4

---

[Rant/Rave] I got engaged O.O
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 07:45:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sazd8/i_got_engaged_oo/
---
Hey everyone, sorry I pretty much got everyone amped for a website I was building then vanished for a week.

I got engaged! I've known him since we were 19 and he has been there for me when I needed him the most. We have that kind of easy relationship that makes people gag. He was covered in pieces of trees from work, i was half naked drinking wine when he got down on one knee and said waiting for the perfect moment was stupid, since every moment was perfect with me. (cue: awwwww)

So for the past week I havent even logged in, I've been busy planning our cruise wedding and pinteresting a bunch of pretty crap.

Realized I am conflicted. On one hand I dont want to lose *too* much weight. My boobs are hardly there as it is. And since we decided to get married before my boob job....well....there is just no getting around that to get skinnier means to tailor this damn dress in at the chest.

But wedding dresses add like 10 pounds anyway, right?

I'm excited :)

I will probably still make a site but not a paid domain, and for the most part will probably post my recipes here for now and copy/paste them to the site.

I've entered that weird stage in my ED where I'm no longer obsessing over food, I just don't eat as much of it. Fasting has become a habit, and I find myself forcing myself to eat small meals. I don't give the scale much authority anymore, even though i still weigh myself, because I know the number is either going to stay the same or go down in the long run.

I've stopped actively trying to trigger my ED, and entered "I dont have an active ED Im just not hungry right now" territory. I've been too busy thinking about other things. So when my BF hands me two slices of pizza I eat it with no problem. But then I don't eat again for 18 hours and don't even mean to.

It's like I *care*, but I'm too *busy* to care the way I feel disordered people should. Or does that mean the ED is worse, if I feel it's less of a problem but still purge every so often or restrict all the time and lose weight?

Who knows, who cares, Im getting married!

(Also excited about our 5 day cruise and DREADING the 15 pounds I will probably gain eating all the fancy food and sugary alchohol drinks I can get my hands on. During a vacation where I NEED to fit in a bikini. DAMNIT)

Almost got sick yesterday telling my narssacistic, mentally abusive ex about it. He pretty much said a few passive agressive comments then ignored me, which was way better than I was expecting.

Told my daughter I was getting married, she got all excited, jumped up and down. "YOURE HAVING A BABY!!??"

"Wait, what? No."

She slumped her shoulders. "Awe man.."

---

[Rant/Rave] Pros/Cons of being a friendless loser
/u/DeadGirlWalkin [5'2" | 45kg | 18.15 | -5 kg | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 06:32:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4saoc8/proscons_of_being_a_friendless_loser/
---
(Some context: I transferred to a new high school and I'm socially awkward as fuck.)

PROS:

- You can skip lunch easily. No friends, which means you don't have to force yourself to eat in front of them. Makes losing weight so much easier.

- You'll be the brooding, mysterious, frail person who just hangs out in the library during break times. People will start to think you're the school ghost. (A ghost with an enviable bod)

- You get to work on your schoolwork, future award-winning novel, or that lit mixtape while you use your friendlessness and starvation as inspiration.

CONS:

- You're a friendless loser.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! July 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 11 06:03:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sakev/weekly_stats_update_july_11_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 11, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Thinspo] [Discussion] Favorite thinspo quotes?
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Mon Jul 11 00:45:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s9mjo/discussion_favorite_thinspo_quotes/
---
I'm posting a lot tonight, but I dunno, I'm bored. Sue me.

I like to use short thinspo quotes as mantras for my morning yoga to set an intention for my practice/day (and also when I'm feeling particularly bingey I'll go get a lil essential oil and have myself a meditation session on one of them to keep my wits about me) and I was wondering if any of you have any favorites you'd like to share? also I hope your nights are all going well and that you're reaching your goals as you'd hope to. :)

[can't tag, on mobile.]

---

[Help] Can't lose weight. Help
/u/thirdocean
Created: Mon Jul 11 00:21:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s9jx6/cant_lose_weight_help/
---
I have binge purge issues. I've tried everything. At one point I ran 10 miles a day and got to 173lbs but I'm over 200lbs now, barely. And I can't lose weight. I'm getting new stretch marks. I've done okay at not purging so now I just binge. I can't find help and I want to kill myself. I hate myself all the time and try not to eat. I've considered drugs like Coke to stop me from eating. I feel so fat I want to die. Please help me. Please.

---

[Rant/Rave] Hospital SUCKS!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 10 23:29:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s9dsk/hospital_sucks/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] DAE...
/u/vhenah [5'7 | 141.8 | 22.13 | -78.2 | MOO]
Created: Sun Jul 10 22:22:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s95lp/dae/
---
Does anyone else ever revert to 'normal' eating habits around other people and then immediately slam back into ED habits once you're alone again? Whenever I'm alone I restrict heavily - I love doing it and it makes me feel like I'm in control and proactive about my appearance. But this weekend I went to visit family and I managed to restrict for a day before my ED was like 'ok let's chill' and I got to remember what it was like to have 2 large meals and a snack in a day and not want to lay down and wait for the cold embrace of death. I never want to do this again anytime soon because feeling full is actually awful, but the sudden lapse in my own behavior made me pause. Does this happen to anyone else? Does it depend on anything like if you're with other people?

---

[Discussion] What is everyone's favorite gym?
/u/lexitaco [5'4" | CW:135lbs | UGW:100lbs | 23.17 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 22:19:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s958i/what_is_everyones_favorite_gym/
---
So I am planning on joining a gym, preferably one that has multiple locations around the USA as I currently live in Virginia but I'm moving to Los Angeles in a month. I'm trying to find one with the best benefits for the money and is open 24 hours. One with tanning would be nice too, so I've been thinking about Planet Fitness.
So for those of you that go to gyms, what is your favorite and why? And how is Planet Fitness?
Hopefully this makes sense I feel like I'm rambling, anyways thank you!

---

[Rant/Rave] Minor Celebration
/u/itsalrightitsalright [5.8 | 153 | 22.79 | ~14 | f]
Created: Sun Jul 10 21:04:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8v33/minor_celebration/
---
So, the week is here.

I'm not expecting anyone to remember, I barely do myself, but a few weeks or so ago I posted here about how I had a big ass event coming up. Well, it's on *Saturday*. I'm so unbelievably excited, and not just for the ceremonies and parties.

Not only am I home alone most all week, but the whole family is going to be busy out of our minds. That likely means my father won't be cooking (Great cook, and also an enforcer of family dinners. This means that it's *extremely* hard to avoid eating dinner here.) and we'll be in charge of our own foods instead. Meaning I can sit at the dinner table working on my lessons, and clink a spoon against my tea cup and claim I had a bowl of cereal.


tl;dr, I'm going to have a restrictive week filled with my school work, shopping for a party & ceremony, and end the week with a golden crown on my head. Wowzers.

---

[Discussion] Anyone here do sports/exercise??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 10 20:56:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8twn/anyone_here_do_sportsexercise/
---
[deleted]

---

Let's lose together !!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 10 20:41:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8rq7/lets_lose_together/
---
[removed]

---

Restricting, starting tomorrow !!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 10 20:28:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8pyk/restricting_starting_tomorrow/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] How my planned diets end up
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 20:11:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8njo/how_my_planned_diets_end_up/
---
http://imgur.com/59rwqhj

---

[Tip] I found this on the calorie count subreddit and thought I'd share in case it's useful to anyone else!
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Sun Jul 10 20:09:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8n5i/i_found_this_on_the_calorie_count_subreddit_and/
---
Here: https://www.reddit.com/r/caloriecount/comments/4p648v/this_is_driving_me_crazy_please_help_me_find_how/d4jptmd

This might be basic info to some of you guys here but to me it's super helpful because I really want to be able to work 85c (a delicous asian bakery near me) into my life but they don't have calorie counts for anything and this gives me a system for estimating that's more precise than, "it looks like it might be ~500 calories. Maybe."
I'll probably still estimate on the higher side (my plan is to multiply by carbs/protein and then by fat to get a range and kind of take somewhere near the fat side, because there's no way these pastries are 100% fat but I'd rather be safe than sorry.)


:) Much love to this subreddit, btw. It's so supportive and wonderful and I'm so glad I found it because you guys know the struggle.


EDIT: As an update, I did a little googling and found that the water content of bread products is generally between 30-40%, so I tried calculating a slice of wheat bread from my kitchen where I subtracted 30% of the weight before I multiplied it and I found that to be exceedingly accurate (the low end of the range was 1 calorie off from the package). :)
The water content of most foods is fairly google-able, so hopefully this will also help. :) It's a bit math-y, but it's better than nothing.

EDIT: additional note, the USDA Food Database has the water content of most food listed on there, so if you can find something similar to what you're trying to estimate you can totally use it to get a percentage. Example: per 100g of cinammon raisin bagel there are 32g of water, so if you found a mystery bagel somewhere you could subtract maybe 30% of its weight.

---

[Rant/Rave] I hate my body
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 19:43:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8jfa/i_hate_my_body/
---
Sorry if this is a little rant-y. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and he's wanting me to send him nude pictures tonight. I really, really want to please him but I am disgusted by my body right now. I have drank all weekend, abused laxatives and ate way too much because my parents came up and it's my friends 21st birthday. I've tried so hard to get a picture of myself where I feel sexy and not this distorted body of mine. I feel huge and squishy, though my ribs are showing and my chest bones are starting to. I should feel skinny, I've lost weight, I'm under 100 now. It's just been such a bad weekend and tomorrow my boyfriend will leave for 8 days out of cell reception so he really wants me to send a picture tonight... I just want to feel attractive in my body for once. And I really want some damn chocolate and to never wake up again. I have way more I want to rant about but I'll save that for another time. Thanks for listening, it's great having a community to safely talk in.

---

[Rant/Rave] If you told the average person that you had an eating disorder...
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 19:29:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8hc5/if_you_told_the_average_person_that_you_had_an/
---
The responses would typically range between sympathy (only if you're trying to recover), or insisting you get treatment ASAP because they don't believe you have the required autonomy* to make your own decisions.

*autonomy: “personal rule of the self that is free from both controlling interferences by others and from personal limitations that prevent meaningful choice.”

Having an eating disorder doesn't mean that you aren't capable of thinking rationally! It doesn't mean you deserve to be screamed at, or belittled, or ignored. I feel so frustrated at the responses of some people I've seen.

My boyfriend is amazingly understanding (Although I am afraid of scaring him off), of my disordered eating habits, I imagine having a relationship would be much more difficult if I was dating someone who didn't accept that I have the mental capacity to choose what's best for me.

---

[Help] Hello r/proED community! At what point did you realize, "I'm not in control anymore?"
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 19:01:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8dbm/hello_rproed_community_at_what_point_did_you/
---
Or have you, thus far, never felt this?

My name is Allison, I've posted several times on this forum, but haven't officially introduced myself. I have always felt vaguely concerned about my weight, and when I was 150lb, in tenth grade, I finally decided to do something about it. I lost twenty pounds over the summer. I knew I was overweight, and I wanted to be thin.

For about five years, my weight fluctuated between 130lb, and 120lb. Six months ago, I went through a very intense, personal experience. I came out of it weighing 118lb, and have dropped a bit lower since then.

I know I am body dysphoric. Check my stats, I'm on the border between underweight and normal and I still feel chubby. I realize my standard of beauty is abnormal, but not as extreme as some thinspo I've seen. My current goal weight is 105, I don't want to go further than 100.

I would love to hear from you, if you either:

1. Have had an eating disorder for a while, and do not feel as though your eating disorder is a net negative for you.

2. Have had a strict goal number that you decided once would be the lowest weight you would go, and then changed your mind after you met it.

Please, share your experiences with me. I'm new to this whole crazy disordered eating rollercoaster.

---

[Help] I don't think I have an ED, but something is wrong.
/u/throwaway203823 [6'2" | 190 | 24.4 | ? | Male]
Created: Sun Jul 10 18:46:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8b4q/i_dont_think_i_have_an_ed_but_something_is_wrong/
---
I've never had a problem eating- I was a bigger kid, but stretched and grew out to a normal weight during puberty.

I haven't eaten in 6 days, though. I can't bring food to my face without getting super nauseous. I tried to eat a piece of ham last night and I threw up. The kicker is that I'm super hungry and want to eat. Nothing seems appetizing and I'm starting to get worried that I won't enjoy eating anymore.

I've had a background involving severe depression - and if I'm being honest, I'm pretty down right now. BUT, I'm nowhere near as bad as I've been in the past. Again, this has never been a problem before. Is this common? Or has anyone gone through anything similar?

---

[Other] Ask for a doodle to keep me busy, and not eating.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Sun Jul 10 18:45:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8b0r/ask_for_a_doodle_to_keep_me_busy_and_not_eating/
---
I'm drawing but feeling a little uninspired. Finished a doodle, now I don't know what to draw.

suggestions? or requests?

is this allowed here? lol

[ladies love man buns](http://i.imgur.com/uljvzYd.png)

EDIT: You guys can crop and keep if you want. I dunnut cur lol

EDIT 2: Done for the night. My hand is cramping haha this was great btw. thanks everbody for giving me ideas! I'll finish some more tomorrow if I get the time.

---

[Intro] 190 lbs :s
/u/lixaokasan
Created: Sun Jul 10 18:45:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s8awt/190_lbs_s/
---
mia as been my "friend" for 15 years now, but i think that my metabolism is all mess up, the only ting that is kind of working right now is if i stop eating after 7 pm, so far i lost 1 pound in 3 days

---

[Rant/Rave] Yeah, it's official. My Sunday night binges are getting utterly pathetic.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sun Jul 10 17:53:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s83dc/yeah_its_official_my_sunday_night_binges_are/
---
My permitted Sunday night binges. My binge box. Bars of chocolate. Pasties and pies. Sandwiches. Wafers. Chocolate digestives. I'd hit 2-3000kcal at least.

Tonights 'binge' was probably about 1000kcal. I just didn't want any more. *I didn't even bother filling my binge box*.. I just brought what I wanted on a plate. I tried to make myself get more out of the cupboard but I knew I just didn't want it. And I ate it differently too. Before, I would scoff scoff scoff while absorbed in Netflix. Tonight I ate slowly, mindfully. I didn't scoff my choco-nut banana flapjack, I ate it with a fecking spoon bit by bit. Gotta say, *that* part is a first.

It's been slowly declining the last few weeks as I've mentioned on this subreddit a couple of times, but I didn't know it would get this low. I mean, 1000kcal is still a lot I know, but compared to what it was..

**I should be pleased that my appetite/desire to 'binge' on Sunday night has gone this way, right?** I'll lose weight faster! That's my aim! I NEED to be 88lbs by September 1st. Heck, if I can moderate my intake a little earlier on every restriction-free Sunday (which I was working on anyway), it might even end up being a calorie maintenance day rather than a huge calorie surplus day - coupled with my restriction during the week, I'd reach my goal fucking easy as pie (I weighed in at the gym this morning at 92.5lbs on the dot! Not gonna update my flair until I weigh in at 88lbs for a week straight though).

But there's something utterly sad about it. It's like.. Sunday night, I could be that fat girl I know I am inside, instead of pretending to be a thin girl like I try to do every other day.. and I refused to let myself feel guilty for it. It was freeing, you know? I needed that, psychologically. I'd get to eat all the junk food I'd crave during the week. I could love food. *It was utterly me time*. Netflix and my pretty purple box. I never ate until I was sick, I just enjoyed a bunch of food with my naturally raging appetite. I loved the fact I was still losing weight even though I did this every Sunday night too, it was intriguing.

Most of all, it was routine. I mean I have a fucking box that I call a 'binge box' for crying out loud. A designated goddamn box! That I.. I didn't even use tonight. Oh my god, poor box. What is it's purpose in life now?! Sitting there all sad in the cupboard!

Heh. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna force myself to eat more than I want every Sunday for the sake of it still being a multiple thousand cal binge. That's a bloody stupid idea. I'll eat what I want, until I am full and satisfied.. no more, no less. And yes, I AM of course finding some happiness in the thought I might reach my goal easier like this. But I am TERRIBLE with change in routine. Psychologically, this 'tradition' ebbing away is kinda hard on me.

Maybe it'll help if I stop thinking of it as 'Sunday night binge'. Maybe, if this keeps happening, I can call it 'Sunday night junk food meal'. Maybe just re-framing the whole thing will make it easier on me, slowly settle in to *new* routine and still be happy that it is still routine.

Maybe.. maybe I'm becoming not that fat girl inside any more. Maybe I am turning into an *actual thin girl* inside.. but no, I daren't believe that of myself. I'm not sure I could ever be that worthy. Imagine being an actual thin girl?

I don't know the point of this post really, except to share how messed up I am because I am sad at my binges getting lower in calories despite the fact that my desperate aim is weight *loss*. Also R.I.P binge box maybe - might do something silly like have a funeral for it if this keeps happening. Haha. Or re-pupose it somehow. Poor fucking box.

---

[Help] was forced to eat
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Sun Jul 10 17:12:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s7xd1/was_forced_to_eat/
---
Im traveling and have been so good about portion control, picking at food, being healthy etc. yesterday was at a dinner with a tasting menu and decided since i had not eaten in days i could have the dessert... woke up feeling so shitty and then at a dinner everyone was making fun of me for not eating enough and I had to eat a WHOLE pizza. I came home and immediatly pooped (sorry TMI) and took laxitives but oomg i feel so sick and hate myself and those cals were not worth it im in sooo much pain

---

[Help] I'm lactose intolerant and had too much dairy
/u/tentacruel_porn [173 | CW 50.2 | GW 45 | 16.58 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 16:39:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s7sow/im_lactose_intolerant_and_had_too_much_dairy/
---
Send help.
I didnt take a lactaid pill and I've been binging so much the last few days after a successful week of being binge-free because I've plateau for 15 days now.

I felt like a piece of shit earlier and ate a waffle while looking for Pokemon despite having lunch with me. Then I walked to Wholefoods and bought two cookies, a chocolate chip scone, and tres leches cake slice. I ate the cake and a cookie as well as a quarter of my scone.

I'm not looking forward to the pain, but I'm going to keep looking for pokemon because at least I'll get some sort of exercise in...

I'm so disappointed in myself that I can't break out of this phase. I have to have to have to control myself after this.

On the plus side I've been backed up as well so hopefully this will push it all out.

---

[Discussion] App for long/short term goals?
/u/whiimsii
Created: Sun Jul 10 16:27:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s7qr5/app_for_longshort_term_goals/
---
(I'm sorry for no flair but I'm on mobile).

I've seen the 100 day binge/purge free calendar spreadsheet thingies going around and I think they're awesome but I was wondering if there is an app I can use to do basically the same thing but on my phone?

The reason why is because I hate the idea of messing with printable stuff. First of all I'd be paranoid someone would see it (I live alone so it shouldn't be a concern really but my fears aren't logical), secondly I feel it would be so much easier for me to keep myself accountable if it were on my iphone because it goes with me everywhere. If I go on holiday or if I leave for a few days my phone is gonna be with me by default whereas with the printable thingie I'd have to remember to bring it with me (which may trigger a failure meltdown moment if I forget about it... Anyway you get me).

If you guys know of any apps that would help me achieve basically the same thing (essentially to set a long term goal that I have to check in for everyday... Ideally in calendar form as it really helps put things in perspective) please do share. Thanks! 😊

---

[Tip] Thank you, Pokemon Go! (Another one of those threads)
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 12:41:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s6qlb/thank_you_pokemon_go_another_one_of_those_threads/
---
No flair since I'm on mobile. I'll flair it when I get back home.

Seriously, I've walked like 10 miles in the past two days because of this game. I'm out right now even though it's 111f outside (I've got water with me), and my fiancé and I are going to go out again tonight after it gets dark and walk some more.

It's a really nice way to avoid binging and get some exercise. I've been in a really vicious b/p cycle for the last four days. Yesterday was awful, but after I did it once I decided to go leave and catch some Pokemon/boost up my gym and so I walked around for like an hour before my fiancé made me come home. By the time he fetched me from the outside I didn't want to binge anymore. This is how I'm going to avoid it and stick to fasting. Every time I want to shovel food in my face I have to go catch some Pokemon and hatch an egg or something.
I'm avoiding eating and getting exercise. It's more distracting than just going for a walk, which is terrible to just do in this heat. It's motivating my fiancé to go out too, which he never wants to do. I'm just so happy about it.

---

[Rant/Rave] I managed to truly fuck it up yday
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Sun Jul 10 10:41:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s671i/i_managed_to_truly_fuck_it_up_yday/
---
no flair because mobile.. Can flair later

Fuck. I was doing so well yesterday! I didn't eat anything (except coffee) till 4pm then I had a nectarine, 5 small strawberries and 11 pistachios.

Then my BF wanted to make fish tacos (flounder, not fried) ... Ok, I only had 2. not a big deal. Didn't feel too guilty. Then I had some froyo... Okay.... Still should be fine..... just a little....

then we decide to go to a bar and I have fuckin 4 shots of rum then another bar where I had 2 shots of rum. I am so mad at myself. Fuck! sorry for the rant

---

[Other] This pretty much sums up how I feel every day. No matter what I do, I'm never going to look the way I want to.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 10 10:26:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s64qh/this_pretty_much_sums_up_how_i_feel_every_day_no/
---
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/KUsOwoN

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 10 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s613r/daily_food_diary_july_10_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 10, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] Clothes shopping
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 119 | 20.4 | -0 | 20F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 09:26:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s5vu9/clothes_shopping/
---
P. sure I'll be going today. My flair isn't accurate, I totally screwed up the week before the 4th. I'm refocused now, but good god if things fit weirdly I'll most likely spend the day miserable.

I think I'll just pick items out a size higher than I usually am and then I won't have to put anything back...

Side note: does anyone remember those advertisements for powders that you would shake onto your meals before you ate them and it would magically make them zero cal?? I would kill for a real version of that right now!!!

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[Goal] I HAVE A LAYING TIGH GAP WHEN FLEXING MY LEGS 😱
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 10 08:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s5mas/i_have_a_laying_tigh_gap_when_flexing_my_legs/
---
http://imgur.com/j6FLOfS

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A costumer walked up to me today and asked if I had eaten
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Jul 10 07:26:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s5gu3/a_costumer_walked_up_to_me_today_and_asked_if_i/
---
I'm totally freaking out. I just smiled and said I was just tired (only 16h into my fast)

Do I look sick? Very tired? Why would she say that????

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[Rant/Rave] I hate myself more than ever
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 07:15:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s5fm1/i_hate_myself_more_than_ever/
---
This is going to be such a negative rant and I'm sorry about it!

My self esteem has always been low, but lately it has been the absolute *worst*. About since I lost my super beautiful hair to hair dye and had to cut it short I have been drowning in negative thoughts, weight - related has increased.. I want to be petite so badly, and I feel like ive lost my *crucial* feminity. I compare myself to everyone, even bigger people. Of course girls that are like 110 lbs are excruciating to look at, however I even tell myself that I would rather look like people *bigger than me* because I just don't want to be me.

I don't know if this is ED-related or bdd or social anxiety related but I can't stop picking myself apart :( I don't even want to leave the houses. I hate my skin, every body part that holds fat (my fingers, cheeks).. Sorry if this isn't relevant to the sub but I posting because I would adore validation and to hear if any of you are feeling the same. Like, the self hatred has never been so high.

Any one else also struggling :| ? I don't know how I'm going to survive any longer with these thoughts

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[Intro] Me!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 10 06:26:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s5abb/me/
---
Hey all! I've been posting here for the past week or so, so what a better time to introduce myself!

I'm an 18 year old male, and my name's Henry. I live alone with my dad and my brother. I have an S/O but he doesn't know about my ED, nobody does.

I've had my ED since I was 14 years old and I'm currently at my lowest weight ever (excluding being like a little kid) and still losing!! I try most days to stay under 500cals, but never like going over 800 except on planned cheat days (I have one tomorrow I'm pretty excited!!). My ultimate goal weight for now is 110, so I'm ALMOST THERE AHHH!!!! (6.8lbs left as of this morning!! I'm sure i can get it by August which makes me super excited). I'm happy to have all the help from everyone in this community! All of you are honestly the best!! :D

Some of my interests include:

* Big Brother
* Video Games
* Reddit (ofc)
* Working out
* Petting dogs

I'm excited to meet and get to know all of you here!! :D

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[Intro] Finally an intro!
/u/DeadGirlWalkin [5'2" | 45kg | 18.15 | -5 kg | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 05:44:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s56h4/finally_an_intro/
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(I've been lurking here for a few months, I was really surprised to learn that there are ED communities on the internet haha. I guess you guys could consider this an intro/goal post?)

Hi. I'm a 15 year old cis female, I've been bulimic for 2 years, but now I've stopped purging and moved on to restricting (yay). I've never been overweight, but I've never really been skinny. Hence, I've received lots of passive-aggressive comments and unsolicited advice about my appearance (y'all know what I'm talking about). As a result, I've got crippling insecurities and trust issues.

I really hate everything about myself. I used to cut, but I've since stopped. Now my ED is my way of punishing myself. I feel like the way I look is the only thing I can truly change about myself. And I feel like when I'm finally satisfied with the way I look, I can actually start to pull my shit together, you know? Maybe by changing the things I hate about myself I can be a productive member of society or something.

I've actually achieved my first goal weight a week ago! And according to the BMI calculators, I'm actually (barely) underweight now! Time to go lower, I guess.

Thanks for taking the time to read this! I hope you all have a lovely day!

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[Discussion] Summer Goals
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Sun Jul 10 05:27:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s54wc/summer_goals/
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I want to be 55kg by september. I set this goal in january and I'm currently 5.4kg away. Does anyone else have any summer goals they're working towards? It's a bit late now but we can revisit this in september and see if we've achieved them!

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[Thinspo] Powerful Slam Poem: Skinny Girls Bleed Flowers
/u/thishour [64 in | 113 lbs | | -12 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 04:33:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s4zz5/powerful_slam_poem_skinny_girls_bleed_flowers/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmDVEUsTMH8

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sigh
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 10 01:19:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s4it3/sigh/
---
[removed]

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[Help] DAE not feel full anymore?
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 148.4 | 24.51 | -14.6 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 10 00:08:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s4bnz/dae_not_feel_full_anymore/
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I'm constantly switching between periods of moderate-severe restriction, and periods where I do what I call "slow binging" every day. Basically I eat non-stop, in several 1-2 hour long periods in the day when no one is around, but I'm not stuffing my face quickly. I just eat and eat and then get another portion and then eat and eat and grab some pickles from the fridge, then cheese, then bread, ect. don't really have an off switch. A few weeks ago I was out celebrating a cousins birthday and we went for icecream. I ordered a medium, and to my horror, everyone who ordered after me ordered a small. I acted surprised and annoyed by how big my cone was, amd threw it away about 2/3 through, but honestly I could have eaten 3 of them without blinking.

I'm scared that I'll never be able to eat "intuitively", I'll just alternate between binging and restricting until I die either severely underweight or severely obese :(

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[Discussion] What are your morning routines?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Sun Jul 10 00:07:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s4bih/what_are_your_morning_routines/
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I have school starting next week and I haven't been back to college for like a year so I'm excited but also terrified.

My morning routine atm isn't that strict. But I figured I should have one figured out so that I won't be stressing before I even get to school.

So far my morning routine is

6:00 - wake up and stretch

6:05 - shower, brush teeth, wash face, etc.

7:00 - cup of coffee

7:15 - make lunch for school (if I ever stay long enough to eat lunch)

8:00 - do makeup and change into school clothes


The stairs at school are brutal as hell so I'll make it my goal to walk up and down the whole building at least 3 times a day.

What are your morning routines?

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[Tip] Found a way to avoid eating Whataburger!
/u/thinwin [5'1.8 | CW: 112.2 | UGW: 100 | BMI: 20.7 | -5lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Jul 9 23:58:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s4al5/found_a_way_to_avoid_eating_whataburger/
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So I recently got a job at Whataburger, and part of the training includes the manager making me a whataburger for myself to enjoy, but I'm going to be fasting for at least my first week at the job. Sooooo in order for my ED to not be so painfully obvious, I shall declare myself a vegetarian! Not only will that ward off friendly offers of from coworkers (sorry), but it'll force me to keep up the "vegetarian" act and never touch the greasy food!

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[Rant/Rave] Can't Stop Binging
/u/not_an_actual_egg [5'3" | 126lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 23:48:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s49fy/cant_stop_binging/
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I just feel so disgusted with myself. Most of my binges are on fruits, but calories are calories. I don't even know what I want. Do I want people to tell me its gonna be fine? I don't know. I just know I feel absolutely disgusting but too tired to do anything about it. Or not disciplined enough to do anything about. I just want to curl up into a ball and restrict until I'm as fragile as a feather and twice as light.

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[Discussion] Anyone in Melbourne want to meet up on Monday?
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5"| 100.4 | 18.64 | -32lb | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 23:11:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s455c/anyone_in_melbourne_want_to_meet_up_on_monday/
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Hi everyone! I have a day of chilling in Melbourne on Monday (currently sitting on the plane haha) before orientation for study abroad and I would love to meet any of y'all because I'm pretty scared for food options and I would love to pick your brains about the in and outs of the country (both ED related and non-ED related!). Feel free to PM me :)

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[Help] Road trip food suggestions?
/u/fluffsheep [5'7" | 140 | 21.85 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 22:30:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s4050/road_trip_food_suggestions/
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Title says it all! I'm going on a road trip which always means gross, incredibly fattening foods. Are there any road trip friendly foods?

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[Discussion] I don't know how I did it, but with stomach grumbling I watched literally hours of those Facebook recipe making gifs
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Sat Jul 9 22:05:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s3wyt/i_dont_know_how_i_did_it_but_with_stomach/
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It was so satisfying yet sad. I honestly have no idea how I did it, I'm getting better at not eating and feeling the hunger but definitely not experienced yet. Anyone else do similar?

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[Help] Exercise calories burned question.
/u/TopCat1392 [5'3.5" | 111.4 | 19.88 | -26.6 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 21:32:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s3sq4/exercise_calories_burned_question/
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There seems to be a huge discrepancy between calories burned when I logged in loseit and the actual machine

For example
1 hr. on treadmill at 3.5mph and 3.5 incline (~23%) according to the machine is 295cal.

I plugged it in to loseit as treadmill 3.5mph for 1 hour with low incline and it came up as 200. I'm not trying to lower my net, I'm just trying to get as accurate as possible...

I'm wondering if part of the difference has to do with treadmill plugging in age and weight while the app is generic or something?

Maybe I'm overthinking this entirely...

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4 day vacation... kind of freaking out...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 9 21:10:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s3pvk/4_day_vacation_kind_of_freaking_out/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Weird rules?
/u/poisonandvenom
Created: Sat Jul 9 21:09:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s3pon/weird_rules/
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What are your weirdest rules to keep yourself on target? Things you haven't seen posted elsewhere, or suggested?


Here are some of mine:

1. I never order food from someone thinner than I am. Air stewardess comes by with the trolley? I'm not having anything but tea unless I'm skinnier. Heading to a fast food place with friends? If the server is tiny, I'm sticking to a Pepsi max, thanks. Eating at a restaurant with a slim waitress? What a lovely day not to eat my salad.

2. I have to be the last one to start eating and first one to stop eating at the dinner table. If I see signs of someone finishing up, I just drop my cutlery. Once I stop, I don't allow myself start again. No seconds, and I can never clear my plate.


3. I have to feel hungry before I go to bed. If I don't, I've binged and today is a failure. Similarly, I have to feel genuine hollow hunger for 2hrs before I will allow myself any kind of a snack outside my food plan.

4. I can only eat what I burn. Get up in the morning and want scrambled eggs (100 calories)? That's one mile, young lady, get started. Want a cup of tea? Twenty calories, aka three minutes rowing. I get insanely precise with this at times, sometimes if I realise I've got it wrong I will walk up and down the stairs or do push ups until I'm in equilibrium again.

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[Discussion] Crossfit and restriction?
/u/poisonandvenom
Created: Sat Jul 9 20:51:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s3n89/crossfit_and_restriction/
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Are any of you guys and gals participating in crossfit?

I just realised a gym opened in my town last year and my kinda-one-sided, think-she's-ed-but-not-sure, way-thinner-and-prettier-than-me pseudo-rival has been attending regularly and now she looks skinny AND lean.

It kind of looks like something I'd be interested in, but at the moment I'm restricting to between 700 and 1000 calories a day, of which about 60% is protein... I just want to keep my fitness up a little bit and look toned when I reach my CGW. It's pretty expensive, per month it would cost me half what I'm earning at my PTJ...

Do any of you have experience with this? Am I being impractical even considering it? What do you do for exercise?

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[Rant/Rave] Feelin' Kinda Crazy
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 20:43:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s3m92/feelin_kinda_crazy/
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For the past week, I've been binging on chocolate. I have gotten my period for the first time in months (I have an IUD) which makes me a little upset, because I've heard that once your BMI drops low enough, you stop getting your period. Looks like I have a ways to go...

I've been feeling so fucking fat, disgusting, not wearing anything but overly baggy clothes.. I worked up the courage to weigh myself today, to assess the damage: 112.4.

I was too afraid to count calories while binging, but evidently I didn't eat as much as I felt like. On one hand, this has pretty much made my day. But... damn, I am kind of put off by how fat and gross I looked when I thought I had gained weight.

Disordered eating is one crazy motherfucker.

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[Rant/Rave] I'm so illogical in my eating habits.
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 20:39:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s3lk1/im_so_illogical_in_my_eating_habits/
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My goal weight for today was 168, and I weighed in at 170. So I react by eating 6 oatmeal raisin cookies. Tomorrow is going to be a fast day, without a doubt. I need to get back on track!

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[Help] My ED has turned me psycho and it's pushing my boyfriend away. Please help
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 19:44:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s3e48/my_ed_has_turned_me_psycho_and_its_pushing_my/
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He's the only one I feel safe talking to about my ED. My mom was ana and doesn't do much other than encourage my behavior and relive her disorder through me. I have friends but I think it hurts their feelings when I talk about my ED bc I guess they're bigger than me now and it sounds like I'm indirectly insulting them.
The whole issue with my mom also means that I can't afford therapy on my own and she won't help me because she's convinced it will make me fat.


But anyway, I do the most ridiculous, manipulative shit to him. I'll send him pictures of myself naked asking if I look fat. He usually says no and I accuse him of lying or I ask an even more obnoxious question like, "thinner than your ex though?". (PS his exes were really thin and beautiful. I use their fb pictures as thinspo) Sometimes he won't play along and answer which makes me freak out and say he thinks I'm ugly. I'm constantly asking him to validate me and getting upset and paranoid if he doesn't say the right thing.


My ED has made me really paranoid. It's been really bad lately and honestly I can't even look at my body in the mirror without crying. I'm so disgusted by myself that it seems impossible that anyone could ever be attracted to me. I feel embarrassed and ashamed every time he looks at me. I'm scared he'll cheat and find someone who's more beautiful, thinner, and less crazy. I've honestly considered breaking up with him until I reach my GW because I don't want him to have to look at my body anymore.


What can I do? I try to not talk about it with him but when the only thing you think about all day is weight loss and calories and exercise, it's hard not to. I really don't want to push him away. He's all I have tbh.

(PS I may post this on MPA because I'm so desperate, so if you see this there, yeah it's me).

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[Discussion] Was doing really well today, but people keep pushing food on me...
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 18:42:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s35x5/was_doing_really_well_today_but_people_keep/
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I'm at my grandmother's house, and she means well, but she always pushes food on me so hard. I'll say no thank you to something and she'll offer me something else, I'll say no again, and she'll go on to the next thing. She's totally just being a grandmother, and like I said, she definitely means well. It's just making it so much harder to hide my restricting.


Also, I was doing super well today, and then Twizzlers happened :(

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[Rant/Rave] Found out I lost more than I expected. Now I'm looking my body and my skin and feel gross.
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 18:25:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s33ns/found_out_i_lost_more_than_i_expected_now_im/
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I was just at friends house and saw that she had a scale... obviously was a little curious to how I've been doing. At first when I saw I, I was like oh shit. I'm ahead of my mini weight goals. But then I realized that losing weight too fast = loose skin.

I'm 19, both my 18 year old sister and 16 year old have lost significant weight through cross country. My mom does not any stretch marks after having 4 kids (I know it doesn't add up, don't ask), and she told me she also lost a lot of weight around my age and didn't have any problems and she told me to use organic papaya soap, something her mom told her to do. My dad is pretty toned, but was a bit more plump at an earlier age. But genetics is so arbitrary, I don't trust it.

My body type is pear shaped, but I don't have evident cellulite on my body. I think because I was a previous lifter that it kept my thighs from getting to that point?? I don't know. What am I really scared about is loose skin on my stomach. I want to get back into surfing again, and I cannot have loose skin on my stomach.

I just went to Whole Foods and bought a dry brush, brown sugar, and coconut oil to make a coffee scrub to exfoliate tonight. I also planning to get some skin butter tonight at work. I also found out that some weight training helps, and plenty of cardio.

I'm about to run 20 miles after work and lift my car if that means I won't have saggy skin. Ugh this sucks so much.

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[Rant/Rave] Why can't food companies make calories more clear?
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 148.4 | 24.51 | -14.6 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 18:19:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s32xu/why_cant_food_companies_make_calories_more_clear/
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I read an article about recent changes to food nutrition labels in the US, supposedly all labels are going to have a "X servings per container" label added. I wish changes like this could also be made in Canada. Right now I'm eating a tin of Ocean's Albacore Flaked White Tuna in water. It says on the tin that the "net weight" is 184g, and the "drained weight" is 133g. It also says that 1 serving is 50 calories, for 55g. I have no idea if it means 55g of drained or net weight (including the water). So either I'm eating 167 or 121 calories. Ughhh. Maybe this wouldn't be a big deal for people who eat normally, but it really matters to me. :( Any ideas?

EDIT: spelling

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Water Fasting (accountability, I apologize as I know some hate seeing these...)
/u/fxuk [5'3 | CW: 78 lbs | GW: 75 lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 9 18:08:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s31j4/water_fasting_accountability_i_apologize_as_i/
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[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] The Worst Side Effect of Binging (TMI)
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 16:46:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s2paz/the_worst_side_effect_of_binging_tmi/
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I hate day(s) after I binge, because I just poop *so much*. It really grosses me out, since when I'm restricting I.. don't really poop at all. It's just a reminder of how much food I shoveled inside my body. :I

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Are you on prescription meds? Check side/withdrawal effects...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 15:41:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s2f2z/are_you_on_prescription_meds_check_sidewithdrawal/
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Figured out why my energy levels have been nonexistent and I've been eating everything in sight the last week. Sigh. Take care of yourself, y'all.

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Binged last night, UFC 200 tonight - booze binge again.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 9 15:15:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s2aw8/binged_last_night_ufc_200_tonight_booze_binge/
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[deleted]

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How I get away with higher restriction...
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | CW: 103.2 | 18.42 | -38.7 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 14:45:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s26bl/how_i_get_away_with_higher_restriction/
---
http://imgur.com/cQT45VB

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Meat Logging Question
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 9 14:39:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s25bh/meat_logging_question/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] What is the most weight you've lost in the shortest amount of time?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 9 14:36:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s24wo/what_is_the_most_weight_youve_lost_in_the/
---
[deleted]

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Camping !
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 9 13:30:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s1u5i/camping/
---
http://imgur.com/TzMt69E

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How many lbs till I reach my body goal to my left??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 9 13:27:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s1tnm/how_many_lbs_till_i_reach_my_body_goal_to_my_left/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/0c6b8331185d437ebd4aae58f73978af?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=18c1af139878dd2d8ad7069c6df0bd6c

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[Rant/Rave] Going pokemon hunting with my husband!
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 13:06:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s1q9m/going_pokemon_hunting_with_my_husband/
---
https://imgur.com/qd6jXyP

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[Thinspo] Best thinspo on Instagram?
/u/thinwin [5'1.8 | CW: 112.2 | UGW: 100 | BMI: 20.7 | -5lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Jul 9 13:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s1plp/best_thinspo_on_instagram/
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Hi!! I've never properly introduced myself, I'm 19 years old, 5'2, 112 lbs, and have a bmi of 20.7! Anywho, I wanted to know if any one of y'all can hook a girl up with some cute thinspo! Thank you thank you❤️💛💚💙💜

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[Discussion] Weird insecurities
/u/thindreaming [5'8.5 | HW 170 | CW 153 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 12:54:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s1o9w/weird_insecurities/
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While I'm definitely insecure about my arms, stomach, and thighs, I'm also really insecure about the size of my calves. I'm naturally really muscular so even at my LW my legs still looked fairly "normal", but since I've gained since then I realize my calves have also gotten bigger? Like all the thinspo of dainty delicate legs makes me so jealous cause even if I get thinner, I still have these muscular calves and it makes my legs look shorter and stumpy almost. Has anyone noticed their calves getting smaller as they lose weight?

Anyone here have a-typical insecurity areas?

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[Rant/Rave] I hate rompers
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 9 12:29:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s1k5e/i_hate_rompers/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Help! I'm suddenly craving EVERYTHING!!!
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Jul 9 11:41:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s1cbr/help_im_suddenly_craving_everything/
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So far while I've been restricting (approximately 2-3 weeks), avoiding problem foods hasn't felt like an insurmountable task. But I woke up today craving everything. Cookies, cake, cheesecake... you name it, I wanna shove it in my shame hole. Oh my god how do I get over this?! Help!

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[Discussion] The craziest, most unsettling thought just occurred to me while browsing instagram.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 10:54:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s14av/the_craziest_most_unsettling_thought_just/
---
I feel like I'm living in a nightmare and I don't want to live anymore with this ED. I've confined myself to my bed today because I don't trust myself with not eating and I planned to not eat for 24 hours to make up for last nights binge. My whole body aches because I also purged last night. It was a hard, wretched purge but I didn't even get half of the binge up. I'm so tired of not living up to my potential because of this ED. I could be working out today, reading books, hanging with friends, enjoying the world. But instead, I've confined by 23 year old, pretty, intelligent self to my bed to starve. To be extra thin. I know why...the social benefits, the feeling of restrictive power, the feeling of superiority, the feeling of success, control.

But this isn't any of those. This is hell. I'm a monotone, sad, scared, ugly person right now.

I was browsing thinspo on instagram to encourage myself to not eat (because I just ate a banana and nearly broke down about it) and I came across wat_kykjy instagram and while looking through her pics i thought to myself....

cue crazy, most unsettling thought:

What if I gained a little weight eating healthy foods and re-gaining my sanity? What if gaining a BIT of weight by eating normally everyday meant I could get my personality and passion for life back?

And then I thought...no WAY, because then I'll be sad.

But what if I fill my feed with NORMAL weight because and stop putting this pressure on myself to be 115.

I feel like I can't decide. I'd love to die now, die young. An accident, not a suicide. I'll never kill myself, I'll NEVER do that to my family. But choosing between health/sanity and the ultimate thinness is tearing my brain apart.

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[Help] Is it ok to eat like this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 9 10:50:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s13rp/is_it_ok_to_eat_like_this/
---
Is it ok to eat only at dinner time? That's around the only time I'm forced to eat anything because that's the only time my Dad cooks for me. It's kinda hard to get out of it, but it also allows me to have 24 hour fasts almost everyday, and I've been doing this for the past couple of days. Will this still help me lose weight? Are there any good excuses that would work?

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 9 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s0vzm/daily_food_diary_july_09_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 09, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Have we tried a daily discussion thread?
/u/Echolaura [5'11"| 142.6| 19.25| -22| F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 09:10:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s0o9u/have_we_tried_a_daily_discussion_thread/
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Sorry if we've done this before and removed it, but one of my other favorite subs does a Daily Discussion Thread which I really like since I have a hard time justifying making a new thread just for my tiny question/random thought.

Would anyone else be interested in a daily thread for achievements, support, random questions?

Speaking of random questions, has anyone else gained weight even while doing a water fast for a day?? How is this possible, I was so sad when I weighed myself this morning.

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[Help] Should I be concerned about hunger pangs during long fasts and restrictions even when I'm not even hungry? Also tips on re-feeding?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 08:47:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s0kvy/should_i_be_concerned_about_hunger_pangs_during/
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I don't think I know what hungry is anymore. I eat when I feel like my chest is going to collapse and wanting to taste a particular flavor, which is rare (mostly just guacamole cravings lol). Thank god I can drink my favorite beverage, black cold brew, with little guilt.

This is my current plan: http://i.imgur.com/3kmnIJq.png
"-1000 cal" are my 10 mile walk/run days.

I'm planning to do a weekend fast because I'm working all weekend and have so much homework to do, so it'll keep me really occupied.

However, throughout the day of previous fasts, I feel and hear pangs, despite the fact I'm not even hungry. Maybe it is a physical thing, because I know mentally, I am not hungry, but I wanted to know if that should be a cue to eat or is it safe to not eat? And yesterday I ate a Quest Bar, and I could feel it going through my whole digestive system. It was the grossest thing I've ever felt. I am not even hungry, and it definitely was worst in the beginning of my ED, but they're still there.

I have a planned cheat meal on Wednesday. I'm thinking a poke bowl (ahi tuna with spicy mayo served sushi rice and various toppings like ginger, onions, seaweed, etc) from my [favorite poke place](http://www.yelp.com/biz/go-fish-poke-bar-san-jose) or something from [Veggie Grill](http://veggiegrill.com/docs/vg-web-menu.pdf) here in California. However I'm scared that I won't be able to finish these meals and those weird digestive noises are enough for me to be grossed out from eating.

Any reason behind weird hunger pangs and any advice on refeeding? Anything helps :)

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[Other] Thanks everyone, and bye bye~
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 08:28:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s0i8b/thanks_everyone_and_bye_bye/
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I haven't been *super* active on this sub, and I didn't even make an intro post (I don't like those), but I just wanted to say bye to you all; I'm leaving the subreddit. It's not because I have any ill-will toward it, though. I just got out of an inpatient program at a mental hospital (didn't gain much weight, thank Arceus), and I'm deciding to cut out things that could perpetuate my disordered habits (e.g. I'm throwing out all of my razors, too). I really enjoyed this sub, and I felt included and accepted here. Honestly, I probably will still restrict a little bit, but I'm going to try to limit it to a couple days a week. I lost 20 lbs in the past 2 or 3 months, and I gained mild anemia. I'm thankful nothing worse happened. I was primarily in the hospital for self harm and suicidality, so it's not like the treatment focused a lot on my disordered eating - if it had, maybe I'd want to eat normally. But whatever. I found out I'm closer to having bulimia than anything else, and so mostly I will be focusing on controling my binges - then I won't have to restrict because I won't have to make up for the binge. Hopefully it will go well. Wish me luck.

Anyway, thank you all for the support of this environment. I wish you all well, no matter how much or little you decide to eat. See ya~

---

[Discussion] Ladies - how does your menstrual cycle affect your weight?
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 08:09:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s0flm/ladies_how_does_your_menstrual_cycle_affect_your/
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Hey! Just wondering for those of you who've been tracking daily for a long time: when in your cycle do you start retaining weight? How much do you fluctuate? Also, do you find cravings are worse at different parts of your cycle?

I ask because I've been consistently losing every day for the past two weeks up until the past two days. Usually when I don't have a loss/have a slight gain I can pinpoint something - maybe I had a late snack, maybe I had a small binge, maybe I ate something really salty, but I don't have those excuses this time so I'm wondering if it's menstrual-related, as I'm 4-5 days from my period starting. It's difficult for me to compare it to my weigh-ins from last month since I had a couple of binges at that point in my cycle, and prior to that I hadn't been weighing every single day.

Thanks for your input!

---

[Discussion] the ~final burger~
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 9 08:04:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s0f0p/the_final_burger/
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since i start restricting heavily on monday, i'm making the most of the last days i can eat wtv i want. gonna use up the last mac and cheese box in the cupboard tomorrow and then i'l going to be restricting for 100 days .....

update: decided to start restricting a day earlier !

---

Weekend love
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 07:42:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s0c6b/weekend_love/
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I've got almost the whole weekend alone, I'm making the most, getting out of the house and walking around the city. I'm also not eating 💖

Hope you lovelies all have a fantastic weekend too xx

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[Discussion] Question for everyone who throws up using fingers... (not looking for tips dw)
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Sat Jul 9 07:34:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4s0b7i/question_for_everyone_who_throws_up_using_fingers/
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So, I am a hands-free purger, and as a consequence I'm pretty much silent (depending on the texture of the food lol), but I've always been curious about how people manage to purge w/ hands when they don't live alone. Don't people in your house hear? Do you have to wait until the house is empty? Maybe I just have a really not-soundproof house, but even with the shower running, you would still be able to hear retching from the other side of the house. What are the logistics of your purges? Enlighten me on how the other half lives please!!! (TMI welcome haha)

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[Rant/Rave] [rant] Why do I always do this?
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 9 00:17:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rz50u/rant_why_do_i_always_do_this/
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I was coming in nicely under 700 calories for the day, right on the lowest I can manage while still being somewhat functional. And of course I make cookies for my SO. And of course I eat two of them.

I go from <700 to >1000 in a matter of minutes and ruin a day of hard work just like that. On top of that, the cookies are making me feel so sick and miserable now because sugar always makes me feel sick and miserable.

Fuck me.

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[Other] Watch "Mates of State - Get Better" on YouTube
/u/AwwwwwSewerBunniis [5'1.5" | CW:124.6 | 22.8 | GW: 105| UGW: 98| f | -5.4lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 8 22:31:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rysh3/watch_mates_of_state_get_better_on_youtube/
---
https://youtu.be/kdoYK9jOltQ

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[Discussion] DAE experience PMS without the period?
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Fri Jul 8 22:28:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rys7p/dae_experience_pms_without_the_period/
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It would have been ~that time of the month~ if I still got my period. I get weird bloating/random hunger around this time, and usually gain anywhere between 1-4 lbs water weight. No *actual* period, though... Is this normal? Is it all in my head?

Maybe I'm losing it a little, and I just want to chalk the fluctuations up to something. It's always around this time, though. Go figure. Anyone else experience the same thing?

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[Discussion] Question: At 5 feet tall, what are some ideal weights?
/u/relapseandrecovery
Created: Fri Jul 8 21:43:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rym4r/question_at_5_feet_tall_what_are_some_ideal/
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Assume there are 5 categories that are:

The weight that is probably too far

The weight that is ideal

The weight that is skinny but like normal people skinny

The weight that is normal people size

The weight that is technically healthy BMI but seems "fat" to you


Mine would be:

Anything below 85, then 85-89, 90-94, 95-109, anything above 110

I'm just trying to get an idea of what I'm looking for. I'm not officially considering myself relapsing atm so my current aim is somewhere between normal people skinny and pro-ana skinny. I'm really just trying to get an idea of what other short people consider to be a goal.

---

[Thinspo] Sometimes I’ve been looking at so much thinspo I forget that I’m fat.
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Fri Jul 8 21:40:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rylrb/sometimes_ive_been_looking_at_so_much_thinspo_i/
---
Reality comes back eventually, though.

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[Thinspo] Sometimes I’ve been looking so much thinspo that I forget I’m fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 8 20:52:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ryff8/sometimes_ive_been_looking_so_much_thinspo_that_i/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] I know this is such a downer but, can we talk about suicidal ideation? I feel crazy right now.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 20:47:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ryes8/i_know_this_is_such_a_downer_but_can_we_talk/
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Does anyone else fantasize about being dead? Not necessarily SUICIDE all the time, but just not existing anymore? For instance, I had a great 2 days of restriction after a week of binging. Then tonight I binged so BAD. SO SO BAD. And I'm sitting here completely, utterly defeated. And to make a long story short, I just keep thinking, "ugh, I can't do this anymore. I cannot do this anymore. What in my day is worth this intense anxiety, dread, and hopelessness that descends on me after a horrible binge?" After a binge this bad, I just know the next two days will be hell. I'll be post-binge hungry, it'll be hard to "reset" restricting again, and I won't lose because this binge will make me maintain OR gain. And then once I get back on the restriction kick, i feel like at this point, a binge is inevitable. This is a cyclical hell. Will this be my whole life unless I seek professional help? (I never will, i don't trust doctors). I kid myself into thinking I'm "recovered"...but my version of recovery is just really successful restriction and really creative lies. I just am fed up. How do I do this to myself. I feel like my control is slipping. I'm slowly slowly gaining. Not even maintaining anymore. I can't let that happen.

Does anyone else feel extremely hopeless, cornered, sad, dreadful, etc. after a binge? I feel so trapped. I want out.

---

[Discussion] DAE get super hungry before/during/around their period?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 8 20:37:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rydfn/dae_get_super_hungry_beforeduringaround_their/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Anyone want to weekend fast with me?
/u/rad_dads [5'9" | 152 | 22.0 | F | GW: 125]
Created: Fri Jul 8 20:35:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ryd49/anyone_want_to_weekend_fast_with_me/
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Had a friend visit for fourth of July weekend which I allowed myself to eat whatever with the promise of being back on track on Tuesday.... but the days kind of blended together and here we are on Friday and I am a fat tub of lard. I have zero plans (because zero friends) this weekend so I'm probably going to make it a complete recovery with facials, hair treatments and a healthy dose of coloring. I feel esp gross because I b/p today which I try to avoid cause it makes me feel like shit.

I'll be fasting all day Sat and Sun and will probably break it Mon before work. I generally allow myself tea, coffee, and the occasional diet soda but you can do whatever you like. Would love to have people join me!

UPDATE: Going really well so far! Haven't even considered caving which is super good for me. Usually I end up with really bad cravings but I think my body knows I overdid it this past week. I've drank a ton of coffee today so hopeful I can sleep tonight. Hope everyone's fast is going well too!

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[Other] When you have beer for dinner
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 20:09:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ry9id/when_you_have_beer_for_dinner/
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I love you guys the most thanks friends for helping me be skinny mwa

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[Rant/Rave] I am obsessed with Brandy Melville & losing weight so I can buy the things that only work on really tiny women
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 8 18:40:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rxxaj/i_am_obsessed_with_brandy_melville_losing_weight/
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I'm still relatively new so I hope it's okay that I post about this or that it's not against any rules.

I feel manic about purchasing Brandy Melville clothes and I obsessively follow the Instagram and the models because they're soooo pretty and skinny and look so cute in the 90's style clothing and that's what I want. This is my favorite thinspo material. Fuck.

I have accumulated thus far (besides a bunch of irrelevant accessories):

3 sweaters, 2 long-sleeve tops, 4 skirts, 7 dresses, 2 halters, 9 short sleeve, and 5 tank tops
ALL HALF OF WHICH I HAVE PROBABLY ONLY WORN ONCE because I think I'm too fat but it was urgent I buy it for when I'm small enough because it was all so cute to resist. but I still want more... I am obviously crazy. The stupid fucking clothes make me feel adamant to be smaller because there's only one size and I want to BE that one size and be smaller and smaller and smaller. ughhhhh bye folks 👋🏼 thanks for listening lol

Edit: how do i flair on mobile

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[Goal] Words I Am Trying To Remember
/u/BrokenButNotDeadYet [5'6.5" | 207.6lbs | STG: 180| -15.0lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 18:34:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rxwcj/words_i_am_trying_to_remember/
---
I'm just upset, I'm not hungry.
My sadness is the hole I filled with food.
I can fill it with other things.
I am just upset.
I will only be more upset if I eat.

I have to remember this. I cannot give in. I have to focus on my numbers and not my sadness.

Thank you all so much for being here.

---

[Rant/Rave] I think I just miscarried
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 117 | 18.26 | -53 | F | GW 115 | UGW 108?]
Created: Fri Jul 8 18:21:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rxufl/i_think_i_just_miscarried/
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This isn't exactly ED (maybe?) but y'all are so supportive and such a community, honestly this is the safest place I feel like I have to talk about things. TMI ahead...but it's not really a pretty topic to begin with.

I feel weird.

I got my period 2 weeks early which is weird, but it happens sometimes so idk?

But then I just passed a really big and weirdly shaped blood clot. Unlike anything before.

So I googled some miscarriage images and it looks so much like them. Size, consistency, shape, tail shape thing, TAIL SHAPE THING, UGH WTF

OMG

I was pregnant? And I miscarried? Is that really what just happened? From alcohol abuse, dangerous restricting in response to binging, fucked up body, tampons, birth control (which I haven't been great about OBVIOUSLY), EC stacks, what?

I'm glad I'm not pregnant now but I was? what?

I feel weird.

---

I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE
/u/slay_z
Created: Fri Jul 8 18:18:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rxtxb/i_need_this_in_my_life/
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https://www.instagram.com/p/BHVlyG6AvWw/?taken-by=khadidon

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[Discussion] Go-to breakfasts
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 8 17:35:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rxn9c/goto_breakfasts/
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What are some of your guys' go to low-cal breakfasts? How do you make it?
I personally start off most days with green tea and a packet of oatmeal which is a total of 130 cals. Maybe I'll make what someone suggests for breakfast tomorrow if I decide not to fast!! I'm on a really good streak right now for weight loss so I'd love to try and shake things up so I don't get bored.

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[Tip] Snack/lunch combo that's one of my go-to's 2 Wild rice cakes 2 tbs Sabra pico salsa 2/3 tbs pumpkin seeds 1 cup of arugula (Finished with a drizzle of balsamic, not shown) For a grand total of 191 calories. And filling.
/u/LetsPlayLion [5'6 | CW 141|GW 0 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 16:35:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rxdkj/snacklunch_combo_thats_one_of_my_gotos_2_wild/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/d367e85b0d10439ca204dee512a953d2?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c1a3444f644974d00666f2b49b5602bd

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[Goal] This is such a huge achievement for me. I just needed to share with people who get it.
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 16:31:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rxcrf/this_is_such_a_huge_achievement_for_me_i_just/
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http://imgur.com/4PkLoX0

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[Discussion] Anyone here informed their university of their ED?
/u/WorstCunt [donkey brain]
Created: Fri Jul 8 16:10:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rx9ed/anyone_here_informed_their_university_of_their_ed/
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Just wondering if anyone has told their university or some of their teachers about their ED?

I am stuck in a bit of a hard place and considering (for my academic sake) telling my tutors about this shit.

I know they can't 'help' me, but it might lessen the stress on me.

(I've been in therapy twice and one of my biggest fears is the condescending 'we can help' speech. I really cannot hear that from people that have no clue)


EDIT: I have been living alone for 10 years. I don't stay in dorms, just need advice about telling my department about my disorder. I don't know if my school will 'get it' or... idk?

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[Rant/Rave] I love Trader Joe's Instant Miso Soup. Two filling cups of deliciousness and only 90 calories.
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 117 | 18.26 | -53 | F | GW 115 | UGW 108?]
Created: Fri Jul 8 16:10:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rx9cu/i_love_trader_joes_instant_miso_soup_two_filling/
---
http://i.imgur.com/2AHBI5m.jpg

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[Discussion] DAE have planned binge days?
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Fri Jul 8 15:52:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rx6br/dae_have_planned_binge_days/
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I'm a college student who doesn't have a fridge so I basically have lived off of beef jerky, cereal, and quest bars for the past two weeks. I have planned binge days (once every other week) and those really help motivate me.

Does anyone else do this? Please reassure me and tell me I'm not strange for this?

And oddly enough, these make me feel "not sick" in a way. Like they make me feel like I'm not actually sick and am pretending to have an eating disorder. Which makes me feel kinda bad. It's complex.

On another note, I have two planned binge days this week. One is with my grandma who loves to spoil me. I'm going because she's having surgery next Wednesday and I won't see her for a while. I guess I just need validation that despite these planned binges, I'm still anorexic? It's hard to explain this feeling of not feeling truly mentally ill.

Thanks for letting me ramble. I truly love you all even though I'm rarely on here.

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[Help] Hot, tired, uncomfortable. Sleeping and binging non-stop. Need help.
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 15:45:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rx54j/hot_tired_uncomfortable_sleeping_and_binging/
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Too tired to function. Too tired not to eat. Too weak to eat clean. Stomach hurts from binging. Too full to move. Too dizzy to function. Too tired to move. Too tired not to eat. Too full to feel hungry. Too confused not to eat. I am a mess. How do I break out of this nasty funk, please.

My room is a mess. I forgot to take my meds. I skipped class yesterday and today. I feel disgusting but am too dizzy to stand up for long... might pass out in the shower. I literally just ordered two pizzas and nursed on one of them for the whole day. It's not even good, Dominos dropped a salt shaker on it or something I swear to god. My stomach hurts so much. Urghnnnn

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[Rant/Rave] Tomorrow is going to be hard.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 8 15:36:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rx3gu/tomorrow_is_going_to_be_hard/
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Fasting tomorrow. I have to. I have never totally fasted on a Saturday.. my SO is usually here. And when he wasn't in the past, I'd at least have a little dinner at night to 'treat myself'. But my TDEE is lower now than in those times, and my SO isn't here, so I need NEED to take this opportunity to fast. I NEED to be 88lbs by September 1st. IT IS OF GREAT IMPORT.

But psychologically.. damn it's going to be hard. Since I 'never fast Saturdays'. Moreover, because I've had more fast days and heavier restriction this week as it is, my hunger is slowly climbing.. it's going to be hell tomorrow.

Sunday is free day, no counting, no restriction. I hope I can look forward to that. I know I will overeat, but I hope I don't binge any worse than usual and wipe out this extra deficit I've created. Might have to prepare some really low calorie foods for Sunday to reach for.. any ideas appreciated ofc :( Maybe mix up a big pot of Fage and sweetener..

Eurgh, gotta get through tomorrow first :'(

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[Discussion] Fasting and migraines
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 8 15:34:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rx33p/fasting_and_migraines/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] This is like the ultimate for me.. Hipbones forming a small bridge with panties/jeans
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Jul 8 15:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rwxng/this_is_like_the_ultimate_for_me_hipbones_forming/
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http://i.imgur.com/tlWF82q.jpg

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[Help] Someone please tell me that I'll be okay.
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Fri Jul 8 14:56:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rwwgl/someone_please_tell_me_that_ill_be_okay/
---
Last night I had my first binge in weeks. I probably tapped out at about 1600 calories.

So today, I went hard in the gym. Clocked 2 hours and 10 minutes on the elliptical, then I lifted heavy weights for an hour. I'm at ~1200 calories for the day-a portion of which belong to my post midnight binge.

Anyway, today's waking hours worth of calories have all been ultra nutritious, safe foods.

Ugh, I feel like I poisoned my body yesterday with the ice cream and the screwdriver and French fries. I know consciously that I didn't do enough damage to *gain* any adipose tissue, I only stalled my progress.

Ugh. I just want to relax, but I'm thinking of going for a run.

I've been doing penance all day. Someone please tell me I'm forgiven. :(

EDIT: thank you all for your kind words!!! I love you all so much! My heart is melting. Thank you thank you thank you!

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[Other] The Perfect Fast
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Fri Jul 8 14:44:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rwud8/the_perfect_fast/
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It would be so nice to book a hotel somewhere calm where I could go for walks alone and fast for a few days away from home. I'd take a bunch of books and my 3ds and just relax. No food, no distractions, just me and my thoughts. I wish I could afford to do this. It feels so perfect.

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[Help] What excuse do I give people that I don't want to openly admit to that I'm restricting/fasting ?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 8 14:42:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rwtyr/what_excuse_do_i_give_people_that_i_dont_want_to/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I'm so hungry.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Fri Jul 8 14:31:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rws0q/im_so_hungry/
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But my thighs are absolutely disgusting and my stomach is still too big and there's still fat hanging from my arms. So there's nothing I can do about it. I'll just have to deal.

I'll drink lots of water and maybe eat a granola bar when I get home. But I'm not gonna binge. I'm gonna be strong because I am done being the fat girl.

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[Intro] Let me introduce myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 8 13:11:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rwdhj/let_me_introduce_myself/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] 25/96 hr fast
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | how can I have fat wrists?! | -29lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 13:06:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rwchj/2596_hr_fast/
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Passed day one but had to use a piece of sugar free chewing gum to keep some pills down. Feels kinda cheaty. I feel I violated the chastity of my lips. Wondering if I should just allow chewing gum, black coffee, and green tea in with the ice water now.

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[Thinspo] Colorful thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 13:04:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rwc4j/colorful_thinspo/
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http://i.imgur.com/iqR497p.jpg

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[Other] I have been so mad about bloating and complaining a lot about it haha
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 12:17:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rw372/i_have_been_so_mad_about_bloating_and_complaining/
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But last night I had the most REALISTIC dream I had a baby 😱 I already have one and am not pregnant, but I feel like my bloat is a baby now haha. No thanks LEAVE ME BLOAT. Maybe it's an evil Game of Thrones fire god baby.

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[Intro] I'm finally admitting my eating disorder to the world
/u/cheeseontheritz
Created: Fri Jul 8 11:35:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rvva7/im_finally_admitting_my_eating_disorder_to_the/
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I'm new to this subreddit but I'm officially ready to just admit that I have an eating disorder. I've come to the realization that 2016 has been the worst year of my life because of this disorder, and not out of some weird Groundhog's Day anomaly where 2016 is just a bad year and on January 1, 2017 my life will return back to normal. I am an 18 years old male (about to turn 19 in a couple months) and I've dealt with this disorder in varying forms since 6th grade, so about since I was 12. When I was younger I was normal weight, but my parents are not the best dieters and we always had huge portions of potatoes and really hearty dinners. Overtime this made me gain a lot of weight and eventually I was in the 165 lb range as a fifth grader at 5'6'' (wow, that's so weird to say now). At around 6th grade I made the choice to start getting healthier, so I decided to actually exercise by walking daily. My diet remained much the same but now exercise (which was nonexistent) was now a part of my life. It was subtle but I ended up losing 15 lbs in about a year and I started to feel normal. But then came the unintentional restricting...
So around midway through 6th grade I started to realize how embarrassed I was feeling about myself. I was still overweight, I was the weird kid with acne and a slight lisp that could barely do presentations in front of the class (now I'm the exact opposite which is weird). I wore scarfs and weird clothes and people would always give me weird looks and I never really thought about it. But I started to feel embarrassed, and I think subconsciously that started my self-hatred that has spiraled into this eating disorder. Thinking of myself back in 6th grade makes me cringe and I absolutely hate that person. I hate myself too but I hate that person in a different sense. I hate myself now for all the stupidity I've incurred in my life; I hate that younger me for being so weird and embarrassing. Anyways, around this time I didn't have many friends but I did have some (way more than I do now) and I felt okay with my life. I felt like I was getting somewhere. But during lunch time I noticed this lacking interest in eating, and eventually I just stopped eating lunch at school altogether. I would take my lunch money and hide it, saying I spent it, then use it on buying other things I liked that weren't food. I would come home from school and do what I understand now to be a "binge" in where I would eat a lot at one time because I was hungry from skipping a meal. I would then not be very hungry when dinner came around and so my body was running off this one "binge" meal per day. The weight I lost was pretty substantial, and so I went from 150 to 135 in a year.
In high school I joined the marching band, and doing all that exercise alongside this one meal per day thing made me lose even more weight. My family got concerned and wondered if I was anorexic, which I didn't understand. I didn't want to be skinny, it wasn't the intention at all. But I feel like subconsciously it was, because I was trying to not be that fat 6th grader again. In all honesty, I did and still don't have any intention to lose weight, but I think in the back of my head on an unconscious level that might be where my thoughts are being motivated. I continued to lose weight but eventually I started to stagnate at around 125-120 lbs for most of my high school career. I never grew any taller since 5th grade, so my BMI was in the relatively 19 range, which is healthy but leaning on underweight. I didn't think anything of it. But then my life went absolutely bonkers.
Midway through sophomore year (which I regard as the best year of my life, I had so much fun and I am so proud of that person I was) I finally had to make the decision to leave my house. Prior to this, my brother (who is mentally ill) caused havoc every day and made things an emotional wreck. He threatened to kill me and cornered me and my parents did nothing about it. So when he did it again I stood up for myself and decided that this was enough. I needed to worry about my safety. So I forced my dad to take me to my grandma's house and that I would live there until I found somewhere else. Over 2 years later and we're still here. And ever since that point this eating disorder has spiraled out of control. That initial summer of me moving out was steady and I felt like this was a necessary change. I felt progress and relief. But in December 2014 I started to notice a change in my mind. Mental illness runs in my family (hence my brother) and depression/anxiety is a major component on my dad's side. But worst of all, bipolar is supremely prevalent on my mom's side. Knowing that most mental disorders arise in late adolescence, I knew it was going to be a waiting game to see where I stood in the game of luck. And I came out a mess.
It's 2016 now, and for all of 2015 I was on this slope downwards to the place I am now. I quit band because my bipolar disorder convinced me that I was better than these people and that I was stuck in a rut (hypomania is a weird thing). I worked at my job day in and day out after school and on the weekends and made no time for friends, and I began to lose them. Senior year was conclusively the worst year of my life, because I lost all but 4 of my friends (which I will refer to later, as they are dwindling too). I felt no control in my life because of my weird mood swings and fears from anxiety, which made me depressed, which made me want to punish myself. Not having control over my emotions made me so frustrated with myself that I sought out restricting as a form of punishment. I worked at a bakery and so in order to punish myself I cut out all forms of baked goods from my diet (this way I could never snag any home for myself). I worked at a coffee shop, so I cut out all forms of coffee or sweets. I then went on to cut out all forms of carbs (rice, corn, wheat, oatmeal) and started to lose a lot of weight. It feels weird now because looking back this feels so abruptly fast, like this year has flashed by in a bunch of quick decisions. I cut out all forms of unnatural sugars, most processed foods, and decided that I wouldn't eat out that much if ever. I got extremely frugal and when I started losing hours at my job, I just ended up not eating much if at all to save my money. I was on a weird slope, but it got weirder at Easter. On Easter, out of my attempt to be a healthy cook in control of my life (which I wasn't, I have no passions and no goals and no real purpose anymore) I tried to cure my own ham out of some leftover pork. I thought this was a good idea (and it would have been if I didn't add applesauce out of an attempt to not use brown sugar). I believe that the applesauce was far past its expiration date, but knowing how frugal and restrictive of both wasting food and wasting money I had become, I used it anyways. Needless to say, I was miserably sick from it and had to make myself throw it up. This was when the purging started. It felt good to throw up because it made my eyes water and it clinched my stomach and it eased my anxiety. I didn't feel nervous or anxious afterwards, I felt pretty normal. I would then go on to make myself gag almost every day until about now, where I still am. It's now a necessity to start my day or else I feel so anxious about potentially feeling anxious (it's an impossible cycle). If I gag, then it will make me feel better, and so my day will feel better. In one of my fits of hypomania I felt that I should quit my job and so now I've been unemployed all summer and wasting away. I graduated at the end of May as valecdictorian and I've received a full-ride scholarship from the college I liked, so much so that they're actually paying me after tuition about $1500 a year to go there that I can use on anything I want, as long as I maintain my grades. But I feel that this eating disorder is ruining me, and my grades got pretty shaky my senior year because of this disorder. I don't want to lose my scholarship because of this awful thing. In the midst of my summer depression so far, I've stayed at home in my room and have done a lot of crying. I haven't been able to hang with my friends as often because I feel so lost, and now they're moving on to other friends. Just yesterday I tried to make an effort to catch up and each one of my 4 remaining friends said they would rather hang with other people. I just don't know anymore. I feel my life dissolving around me. I don't feel passionate about anything (I wanted to be an author but this disorder is wasting my days away). I have no hobbies, no friends, no job, no purpose. I can't afford to go to a specialist because I have no job and the money I have saved up has to be kept away in case my grandma can't afford to pay for something. I feel so guilty for forcing my problems on my grandma when she should be enjoying her retirement but now she has to work a job alongside her social security to support me and my dad (who is on disability). I just can't deal with the guilt which makes me want to punish myself more out of frustration, which is why I gag myself every day in order to calm down. My throat bleeds all the time and I can't help it. I'm an 18 year old male at 105 lbs at 5'7'' and I feel like I'm on my last gears. No matter what I do I can't gain weight (even though I try to eat but I always get sick from overeating which then causes frustration then gagging and you know the story). Peanut butter is my go-to to help gain weight but I only seem to be losing. I feel like my body is going to give up one day and I'm just going to be found dead. I have no idea what to do and my family has worked so hard to help but they can't deal with the stress themselves and so we've grown distant. My dad is moving back in with my mom some day but I refuse to. My grandma is moving whenever I get my life together. I have no friends, no job, a dwindling amount of money that I only spend on the absolute necessities of food (I can live off a jar of peanut butter and some fruit for a couple days), and honestly just no drive. I don't know where to go now because of this disorder, and I don't know what steps I should take.
I want to take this chance and reach out to people on here like me. i want to talk to people and feel some sense of familiarity, like I'm not alone in this. I want to feel better. I want to be here on this earth, experiencing things and loving life. I just want to feel here again.

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[Discussion] Relapsing + trigger foods?
/u/perfectionistlemon [165 cm | 58.8 kg | 21.6 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 11:28:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rvtz2/relapsing_trigger_foods/
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Hey y'all. Dunno if you remember me. I decided to stop going on reddit for a bit during May-June for my examinations (which I did well on! but that's beside the point). Anyway, I managed to gain all the weight back... I'm scared to weigh myself, because I'm terrified if I see 60kg on the scale I will fall into a deep deep depressive spiral and gain even more weight, but realistically there's no way I'm not at least 58-59 kg as I type. So here I am, back again.

I noticed that some of my foods I need to STOP keeping in the house are probably the reasons why I regained weight - easy binge foods. My worst ones are Kinder Chocolate (so good but so fattening, 71 cal for 1 tiny piece I think!), Ruffles chips, little Babybel cheeses, tuna cans in brine, goat cheese, cream cheese (I notice I have a cheese problem...). How about you? If you give me some ideas I may be able to add to my list of what I'm forgetting right now - putting it on a no buy list so I can never have them again (or have them in tiny quantities - once a month, maaaax).

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[Discussion] Ordering delivery
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 11:16:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rvroa/ordering_delivery/
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Do any of y'all get super stressed out while ordering delivery?

There's nothing to eat in my house and since I have awakened my hunger last night, I feel the need to pig out. However, I can't ever decided what I want, there are too many choices and nothing that I actually want will get here in time for me to still want it. After clicking back and forth from different places, I finally gave up and am trying to nap instead.

Silver lining, no lunchtime binge for me, I suppose... Why can't I behave like a normal person?

Update: almost fainted in the shower so I ordered a Chinese combo plate with an egg roll. Ate the egg roll, waited 20 minutes until I started in on the shrimp lo mein. Only ate a few bites but I can feel the food sitting inside me and it is not enjoyable. Ugh. :(

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[Help] HELP! How many calories??
/u/downtownhomebound
Created: Fri Jul 8 10:24:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rvhrc/help_how_many_calories/
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I'm at a tapas restaurant right now. I just ate two small platters of food (the only things I could eat at the restaurant, thank god I'm vegan) and I am freaking out. I have no idea how many calories I ate and I need to know, I already had a lot before dinner and I cannot handle not knowing. I tried googling but I didn't really trust any of the results... Ok so it was three pieces of garlic bread (think three thin pieces cut from a long baguette) with some kind of garlic paste consisting of garlic and olive oil. About half a tablespoon of paste for every piece of bread. The other platter was sweet potato fries served in a bucket (8 cm tall, 7 cm in diameter). I think it might have had some sort of coating... Or it was double-fried. I have no idea how to find this information on my own and I'm freaking out... Sorry for asking this but I would be so grateful to any help!! (Can't flair, I'm on mobile)

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 8 10:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rvdl5/daily_food_diary_july_08_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 08, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Discussion] All this violence and chaos makes me sick to my stomachs
/u/ummyeahokay [5'5" | 124 | 20 | -23 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 07:49:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ruqvx/all_this_violence_and_chaos_makes_me_sick_to_my/
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As if I needed another reason to not eat. Today I thought, "why should I eat when Sterling and Castile and the police officers and those people in Baghdad won't ever get to enjoy food again? What's the point?" I have no relation to any of these people, but I just want all the killing to stop. I feel helpless and sad right now because I can't do ANYTHING. Ugh.

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[Tip] What 200 calories looks like, warning if you are restricting and some pics are tempting.
/u/jimmyolsenblues
Created: Fri Jul 8 06:16:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rudil/what_200_calories_looks_like_warning_if_you_are/
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http://i.imgur.com/iPB2gTr.jpg

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[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! July 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 8 06:03:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rubrh/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_july_08_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for July 08, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Discussion] Birth Control
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 05:57:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rub0u/birth_control/
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Hello ladies (or anyone using some forms of birth control),

I was wondering what forms of birth control people here use, what effects you've found, etc. I was on the pill for 7 years, the main effect it gave me was a regular period and boobs, haha. In a few weeks I'm getting the copper T IUD and I was wondering if anyone has any experiences with that? It's the IUD that has no hormones so it won't interact with medications or well, my hormones. I just want to hear different people's experiences, thanks! :)

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[Tip] I think this tip has been shared before but a reminder how great HOT COCOA packets are: perfect chocolate fix and lasts a bit and there are plenty of brands less than 100cals a packet. Still great even on summer nights!
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Fri Jul 8 03:08:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rtt3t/i_think_this_tip_has_been_shared_before_but_a/
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I will be trying out lots of different brands and comparing them - I will post my insights on calories vs taste and cost even.

The ones I got tonight was **Winco's No Sugar Added, 50 calories a packet. Mixed with 8oz water, it was quite good. Box of 8 was$1.68.** Next is going to be Winco's Fat Free, 25 calories a packet. Don't think it will be great so for the extra 25 cals but I will still check it out!

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[Other] MFP Friends
/u/ancrexic [5'3"-ish | 107lbs | 19.79 | -0lbs | M]
Created: Fri Jul 8 02:30:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rtp6n/mfp_friends/
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Hi. I just started tracking calories again and don't have any friends. I'm "tobeaskinnyboy". Feel free to add me.

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[Rant/Rave] Thigh progress. It's not much, but it's something. Still have a long way to go.
/u/russianfrank
Created: Fri Jul 8 02:04:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rtmkl/thigh_progress_its_not_much_but_its_something/
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http://imgur.com/sfruDnV

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[Rant/Rave] The aftermath of a binge: Trying not to beat myself up and be a bit rational.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 8 01:28:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rtism/the_aftermath_of_a_binge_trying_not_to_beat/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Who else is really excited about Pokemon Go?
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Fri Jul 8 01:04:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rtfyz/who_else_is_really_excited_about_pokemon_go/
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Like, really. I have so much trouble getting motivated to get up and so stuff, but right now I can't wait to go out tomorrow and walk everywhere. They even have a place that records how many km you walk and gives yoy a badge when you read 10km. I'm so excited!

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[Rant/Rave] Worst food dream experience ever o_O
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 8 00:57:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rtf95/worst_food_dream_experience_ever_o_o/
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So, it's my 'perfect condition' week this week.. which means no distractions or situations I need to eat when I don't really want to, so I've been following my 'perfect plan' - fasting Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, 750kcal Wednesday and Friday. Sunday remains free cal/permitted controlled binge day cus I need that psychologically...

Fasting is really hard for me these days. I used to be relatively awesome at it, 5 day (consecutive) fasts every week, Sunday night - Saturday morning and only eating then because my partner was around watching me. I think it was because I was obese/overweight back then and had lot more fat to burn.. and my body was cool doing that with so much extra.

These days though, I usually get through Monday but fail by about 300kcal late Tuesday evening, and eat something around 300-400kcal on Thursdays too even though those are my rest days - I'm always EXTRA hungry on Thursdays. I can't fast on my gym days at all.. and am usually hitting around 1000-1300kcal those days now :(

I've done okay this week. I did fail my fast Tuesday by 40kcal (10kcal pot of sugar free jelly, scraped the bottom of an old cottage cheese tub for a few g) and went over my limit by about 35kcal on Wednesday to make 785kcal for the day (had a whole BIG CUCUMBER extra), but otherwise have stuck to my perfect week plan so far. I even manage to resist all of Thursday and succeeded in a fast with YouTube creepy pasta readings, the Sims, and not leaving my bedroom.

Then last night. Shit, it was hard to sleep to begin with.. then I had MEGA FOOD DREAMS.

You know those dreams where you wake up and think it's real? Then you go back to sleep and then dreaming and KEEP WAKING UP and then repeat? Yeah.

So I first dreamed I had a whole 100g bar of nut chocolate. Woke up, paniced, had to convince myself it was just a dream. Go back to sleep. Dream I am making chocolate flapjacks.. and eating the whole tray. Wake up, panic more, have to convince myself I didn't eat either the chocolate from the previous dream or the flapjacks. Sleep again, dream about eating a mish mash of different junk foods. Wake up, repeat repeat repeat, just feel AWFUL and so guilty.

Eventually I woke up an hour late and got my usual oats. I SHOULD be at the gym right now but I'm a state - setting off in a few minutes though, after one more cigarette to calm myself and writing this.

It was relentless. Jesus. And so, so, so vivid :(

BLEH.

*Edit: Went to gym, feel better now, bought a bar of nut chocolate to make some nut chocolate flapjacks on Sunday because fuck the system (will be freezing most of them, I wont ACTUALLY binge on just flapjack xD )*

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[Help] The 5th was my dad's birthday, and my mom made brownies. Having trouble not bingeing on them.
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 8 00:14:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rta5j/the_5th_was_my_dads_birthday_and_my_mom_made/
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I *love* brownies. Growing up, I used to request them in lieu of birthday cakes when my birthday rolled around. And right now there's a pan with over 3/4 of a pan of brownies sitting on the counter, where it's been since Tuesday. The last two days I've been having so much trouble knowing they're sitting there. I weighed a piece and googled to estimate how many calories it would be... google told me 28g was 130 calories. *28g*. That's it. It was such a small piece, it wouldn't even be worth it. I even debated throwing them all out and just lying and saying "Sorry, I ate it all. *Whoops*."

It's easy enough for me to turn down things in the moment and be done with it, but this is wearing down my self-discipline and it's killing me, agh.

To help motivate me earlier, [I looked at graphs I set up to see how I'm progressing](http://imgur.com/a/l98JS).

Any advice for avoiding this/keeping my discipline in the next couple of days? I mentioned something to my dad about how the brownies were tempting me and he wasn't helpful at all, he just offered me a piece in the middle of me cooking dinner. :(

---

[Intro] a reintroduction:
/u/AwwwwwSewerBunniis [5'1.5" | CW:124.6 | 22.8 | GW: 105| UGW: 98| f | -5.4lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 8 00:09:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rt9ku/a_reintroduction/
---
the last time I was here, I was 13 lbs lighter. my husband lost his job (our only source of income), I started a new (unpaid, for now) job, and I lost my oldest friend in the meantime. I coped by eating all the things. my husband is working again, as am i, and I'm cool with losing friends whose standards I can never meet. but to get to the point: I'm old enough that I used to be able to buy ephedrine otc with no problems in college (r.i.p., ripped fuel). I've been reluctant to start it again, but I got desperate, so I bought some bronkaid today, and holy crap.

it's 2 am, and I am still up, doing useful stuff, not strung out, just... productive. I forgot this feeling, and i missed it.

so before I try to get some sleep: thank you, proED. and, I guess I'm back.

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[Discussion] Cute ideas for a calorie/meal tracking journal?
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 148.4 | 24.51 | -14.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 23:48:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rt72r/cute_ideas_for_a_caloriemeal_tracking_journal/
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I really need to start fresh, and I think that actually writing down my goals on *physical paper* might finally motivate me to get some fucking control. Anyways, I have a journal and some coloured pens and way too much free time, so now all I need are ideas! What do you use to motivate yourself and track your calories? Other organization or motivational food/fitness/weight loss ideas also appreciated!

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[Rant/Rave] I can't be white. But I'm going to be thin.
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Thu Jul 7 22:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rssrb/i_cant_be_white_but_im_going_to_be_thin/
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You've probably already seen what's been happening. It makes me sick for my race, our country, our police, everything.

But mostly it just makes me want to rip off my skin.

When Nupita won the Oscar she talked about praying to god every night to lighten her skin. I get that. 24 years old and every now and then when I look at my arms I shudder. disbelief. disgust. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. It's bad enough I don't like it, but that idea is reinforced by everything around me. I don't like living in fear for my physical safety; I don't like knowing that people can't help but instantly judge me as human garbage because of it.

All over skin bleaching starts at around $3,000. After I get my degree I'm doing it. I love laying in the sun, but I think i'd rather have lighter skin. SMH. Until I can afford that i'm restricting, restricting, restricting. I won't stop until I can see my spine. I'm setting my goal weight at 100 pounds. It'll put my bmi 10 pounds into underweight. With my body type at 5'5" that number is entirely unrealistic. But I wanna see that number on the scale. I wanna do the impossible. Because it's not. I just have to learn to not eat.

I'm in a new place where i'm turning to ED as a coping mechanism. I just wish it didn't take so long to matter. Smoking, cutting, all that stuff is instant. I'm going to learn the patience though.

I am not African American. I am black. And fuck does it suck. I can't even describe myself properly. I'm not from fucking Africa and goddamnit my skin is brown. So I get to pick between a BS PC term or a stigmatized self made one. I pick black because it better shows how shitty the whole situation is. Black is never, never, connotated with positive traits but it's the name my people chose. To show that there really is a stark line that separates us from white people and to embrace that and use it for empowerment. So i'll take the lesser of two evils.

And my MIL says, "yeah, white people get abused by the police too." I could wring her fucking neck. No white people, Hispanics, Asians, IDGAF whatever color you are YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! Ugh, even my mom started comparing it to gay rights. I don't mean to trivialize the struggles of any other disenfranchised groups. All i'm saying is IT'S NOT THE SAME.

If anybody here doesn't like what i'm saying **please** watch "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson" South Park season 11 episode 1. [Here's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j2Pb0YwVH8) a short clip from the episode.

This is a place to rant about my ED, not my skin, but I just can't deal with this right now. Thanks for being there for me.

---

[Thinspo] lowest weight..I will be back to this and less. even if it kills me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 7 21:13:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rslge/lowest_weighti_will_be_back_to_this_and_less_even/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/8e8f048f04464ef9a7fa95e437c10124?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=526a9e7ebf9002ef8a3cb2490308eb23

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[Help] Exercises to tone muscles?
/u/ooo5936 [5'6" | 124.2lbs | GW: 115 | -8.6lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 21:09:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rskq9/exercises_to_tone_muscles/
---
Hi all! Do any of you have any muscle toning exercises that you do?

The thing that I want the most is a flat butt. Any suggestions on exercises to tone legs and butt but not make it a "bubble butt"?

---

[Discussion] Is anyone else on here doing a Keto diet/lifestyle? Care to tell me your daily plan and your successes?
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Thu Jul 7 20:46:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rshc3/is_anyone_else_on_here_doing_a_keto_dietlifestyle/
---
I've been following Keto for a month now for non-weight loss related health problems and it's been great. I've been at it for a month now and am ready to focus on restriction and weight loss. I would love to hear others experience and make a support system.

---

[Thinspo] WHAT THE FUCK DID I STUMBLE UPON? My gawddamned, forsaken eyes. (reverse thinspo)
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Thu Jul 7 20:33:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rsf9k/what_the_fuck_did_i_stumble_upon_my_gawddamned/
---
**Warning: fetishizing, feederism, reverse thinspo**

TL;DR-- I watched a whiny food critic for hours, then stumbled upon [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TmHm87rCtI) and it isn't fair that I'm the only one who had to see it.


Today, I was reminded on here of one of my favorite reverse thinspo youtubers, Joey's World Tour. I am in the middle of a fast, and between enemas and sheet masks, Joey's nasal whine kept me company, and kept me away from the kitchen. The critical moment between water bottles was a breeze, even though the open bag of cherries on the counter beckoned. And now that he's THROWN UP A BANANA SANDWICH ON CAMERA, I think missing dinner will be equally easy.

I see this bloated thumbnail of a construction worker next to a fast food review and of course I get curious. Maybe this guy won't be quite so whiny, or shove so much food into his mouth, I wonder as I click the link...


AND IMMEDIATELY REALIZE THIS IS A SEX THING, as he gropes himself, gets horny about his own working class life, and gorges on fast food. And all the commenters are horny about this. And now I have no clue where to go from here. If my life is green, this was purple. It wasn't the worst thing I've seen, but still my mind has made no effort to rationalize it or move on from it. I am frozen. His bloated belly was my Medusa.

---

[Other] typical lunch break
/u/Sighgal
Created: Thu Jul 7 19:20:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rs3m8/typical_lunch_break/
---
Smoke half a pack of cigarettes and look at thinspo.
Lunch/dinner of champions.

---

[Thinspo] I like the way my arm looks when I flex
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Thu Jul 7 19:17:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rs339/i_like_the_way_my_arm_looks_when_i_flex/
---
http://imgur.com/ZpNoMho

---

[Thinspo] Made a few thinspo phone wallpapers! Thought I would share!
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 18:57:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rs02p/made_a_few_thinspo_phone_wallpapers_thought_i/
---
http://imgur.com/a/mYxdb

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[Goal] Finally updated my flair after months of thinking it would just come back
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 143.6 | 24.27 | -17.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 18:34:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrwdh/finally_updated_my_flair_after_months_of_thinking/
---
Finally not on mobile so I decided to update my flair from 156 to 143.6. My BMI was 26 and now it's down two points. I haven't been this low since I was 17 (23 now) when I had my second ED relapse. I can't wait to see how far I can go this time. I'm almost at the milestone of 20lbs lost so this is super motivating. Today is also my first unintended fast since I was working this morning pulling weeds for a lady and my SO was gone when I came home I can just EC stack all day and not have to hide not wasting dinner in front of him. I haven't fasted for an entire day since I was 17, how pathetic is that I can't even just not eat a single thing for one day. I want to do it more often as a discipline thing, like some normie not-ED people do.
I don't post too often but I'm so happy I have it around to help me out. Thanks for reading.

---

[Help] I'm about to run out of boneless skinless chicken breasts
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Thu Jul 7 18:15:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrte1/im_about_to_run_out_of_boneless_skinless_chicken/
---
Tomorrow I will take the last boneless skinless chicken breast I have out of the freezer. That will feed me both Friday and Saturday. After that I'm screwed.

Boneless skinless chicken breasts are like my #1 safe food. 90% of my meals are centered around about 4oz of baked chicken, which gives me about 26g protein. The rest of my food is filled in based on how many calories I have left after eating the chicken. Having this chicken is basically what keeps my life in order.

So as I said, tomorrow I will run out. And due to bills and broken vacuum cleaners and other sorts of chaos I will not be able to buy more for at least a week. There is less than $10 to spend on groceries next week. That's it. And at first I thought it wouldn't be that bad. I have egg whites, i have cottage cheese, I have greek yogurt.

Nope. My life is chaos. None of my planned meals make sense. And my protein is dropping by at least 5-10g per day. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. And its so stressful!

The one minor saving grace I have is that I have 2 cans of canned chicken, 120 cal for 24g of protein. But the only thing I can think of is chicken salad. And the only mayonnaise I have is 90cal per tbsp. Which is ok once in a while. But I have a can of tuna too, and chicken/tuna salad with fatty mayonnaise 3 times in one week just won't work. I need room in my 300 calories to fit in veggies and healthy food.

So if anyone knows what to do with canned tuna, celery, cottage cheese, greek yogurt, egg whites, and hot sauce please let me know! I will love you forever. I promise.

---

[Help] EC Stacks Discussion for Dummies
/u/bljjlb [5'8" | 154 | 23.16 | -11.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 17:49:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrozq/ec_stacks_discussion_for_dummies/
---
I know this is probably 100% easily Google-able but maybe some of you can give me insight, your personal experiences, etc.

I also apologize if this is posted somewhere, but I did some brief digging in the sidebar and didn't come up with anything. I also see topics about them all the time, so maybe a mega-thread would help those new, or people like me who are clueless.

So what ARE they? How do they help you?
Do you have a "brand"? Where do you personally buy them?
Any good or bad experiences? How do they make you feel?

Any insight, or a link to another post that answers this for me would be awesome! If so, I can always delete this post. :P

Stay awesome, stay hungry.

Side rant while I'm posting: the scale I have been using at my house is off by about 4 pounds, as confirmed by numerous other scales. AWESOME. AWESOME AS ALWAYS.

---

[Rant/Rave] Binge-a-pooloza!!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 17:39:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrnkx/bingeapooloza/
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4th of July weekend really fucked me up guys. If I don't get it together by tomorrow I'm going to have to start purging again.

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[Tip] [Tip] Low calorie filling porridge recipe!!
/u/NekoSpice [Height 5'8.5 | CW 115.8 | BMI 17.3]
Created: Thu Jul 7 17:29:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrltm/tip_low_calorie_filling_porridge_recipe/
---
some background: I have a LOT of issues with selective eating. I only have 1 safe food at the moment and it is Halo Top Mint ice cream (240 cal/pint btw, totally recommend it!!). Finding new safe foods is a terrifying and arduous task for me. But today I discovered the magic of porridge XD
For a long time wheat based or grain based things were major fear foods for me but this stuff is fairly low calorie but extreemely filling!! and also delicious :D

Here is the recipe:
Blueberry Muffin Porridge
first you need
Cream of Wheat package (100 calories)
add in 2/3 cup of unsweetened cashew milk (25 calories)
I heated mine in the microwave on medium for 90 seconds, it is very hot so be careful! On top I added a bit of stevia and then 1/4 cup of frozen blueberries which was 18 calories.
Ta-da!! Blueberry porridge :) it was really great and I am so pleased to have a safe food again that isn't ice cream!! :)
Here is a picture of the finished porridge~
https://twitter.com/neko_spice/status/751194327729057792

best wishes! Let me know if you guys try it out =D

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[Discussion] I don't think that's quite accurate...
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Thu Jul 7 17:10:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrims/i_dont_think_thats_quite_accurate/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/3d2c62d129eb422890d151000e880df8?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=78dbe0d021bb3cba31c384085e57c1ee

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[Thinspo] reverse thinspo?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 7 16:58:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrgbz/reverse_thinspo/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/00e245d53c97402d8800d9d6e4b570f2?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=6711d6cd766518881c5c8b2bd9a73c0d

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[Other] Nacho cheese challenge!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 7 16:55:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrftp/nacho_cheese_challenge/
---
https://imgur.com/a/OWOTZ

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[Tip] [TIP] Costco makes protein bars with simular macros to quest bars at a significantly lowered cost
/u/TopCat1392 [5'3.5" | 111.4 | 19.88 | -26.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 16:29:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrbhy/tip_costco_makes_protein_bars_with_simular_macros/
---
http://costco.com/Kirkland-Signature%E2%84%A2-Protein-Bar-Chocolate-Brownie-%2526-Chocolate-Chip-Cookie-Dough-2--Pack-20-Count.product.100296106.html

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[Goal] What a difference ten pounds can make...
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 111 | 18.5 | -9.7 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 16:26:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rrb3y/what_a_difference_ten_pounds_can_make/
---
http://imgur.com/a/soGpX

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[Rant/Rave] Unable to calorie count a meal = total over reaction
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 16:12:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rr8tl/unable_to_calorie_count_a_meal_total_over_reaction/
---
I have to go for Mexican with a bunch of people I haven't seen in ages (so might notice weight loss?), and one friend who is already suspicious of my eating habits. Although it's a chain they don't publish calories anywhere online. So I have of course planned in advance to have the salad, without dressing. But I hate that I can't properly track my calories for the day. I'll be at work before meal and I have an active job where I would literally pass out if I didn't eat something. But all I want to do is fast so I don't feel guilty for eating unknown quantities later. The salad has avocado too, which I love and not only will I not be able to resist it would look really odd if I did.

This one tiny thing looms over me like a big black cloud and I can hardly focus on anything else. It's so fucked up. There are people getting shot in America and its the anniversary of 7/7 in UK and here I am worrying about a fucking salad. But I can't stop.

Just needed to vent. Sorry, mobile can't flair

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[Other] Not an ED song, but one of my favourite artists has a beautiful song that echoes my ED
/u/thin_is_in [5'8 | 115lbs | 17.3 | -35lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 15:27:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rr0z2/not_an_ed_song_but_one_of_my_favourite_artists/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjJqwmPuVTE

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[Discussion] The bounce between happy with positive goals and self-destruction drives me insane.
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 14:47:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rqtzl/the_bounce_between_happy_with_positive_goals_and/
---
It's just so annoying because sometimes I'll think, oh when my arms are X inches around that's when I'll get that tattoo! Oh I can't wait till I'm that beautiful think of all the lovely clothes and how everyone will love me and think 'wow I wish I was her'. And it's all very happy and light and oh yay look at me losing weight life is wonderful la-de-da-de-da.

But then it's like, don't fucking eat you deserve nothing you are a filthy failure with nothing to show for anything how dare you even consider nurishment. Sit down, exercise, look at your fat in the mirror, you shouldn't even exist you disgust me. Starve until it hurts because that's all you're worth.

It drives me mad sometimes. Not being in one state or another, just the bouncing between the two and not really knowing when I'll switch. Like, I woke up hating myself, did some yoga and felt okay and was like oh maybe I'll buy new yoga pants, then I weighed myself and cried, but then it was okay and I had some coffee and an orange, and then I was like oh maybe I'll have cereal and that triggered horrible thoughts of how disgusting I am. Can anyone relate? It all feels so stupid. I wish I could just hate myself fully and stop eating as punishment or just do the happy lighthearted effortless restriction and the world is bright. Bleh.

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[Discussion] Long term EC stackers: share here!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 7 14:35:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rqrvh/long_term_ec_stackers_share_here/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Oh my god you guys. Just measured my freakishly thick waist for the first time in a while. My goal has been sub-25 inches for a long time. I could cry.. (Forgive my stretch marks!)
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 7 14:02:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rqlso/oh_my_god_you_guys_just_measured_my_freakishly/
---
http://imgur.com/a/YiPWm

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[Discussion] Feeling fatter the more I lose?
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 13:59:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rql8y/feeling_fatter_the_more_i_lose/
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Does anyone else relate? I dropped like 12 pounds but i feel like I look bigger than before. I wonder if it's just body dysmorphia telling me that I'm more disgusting now, or if now my body actually looks more un-proportional and its fucking with me really hard.

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[Rant/Rave] First binge in a long time
/u/Erenem [5'4 | 88 | 15.10 | -32lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 13:56:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rqkru/first_binge_in_a_long_time/
---
(Sorry for the lack of flair, I'm on mobile)

I've posted before here that I no longer struggle with b/ping, but that seems to have changed again today. I was in therapy earlier, and my therapist couldn't decide going off my appearance if I was just slightly underweight or significantly so, but she also made a comment about "very severe anorexics" implying that I wasn't quite that bad and at my lowest I was one of those severe anorexics, and something in me just snapped. This was at 11AM, and it wasn't until 5PM when my mum left the house that the binge started. I ate about 1000 over the next couple hours, which I guess isn't exactly a big binge, but there was just nothing fun to eat in the house, plus I have GI issues. But it still felt very binge-like. My old ones were 3000-5000 so I have had "real" binges and I definitely think this would have been one if there was more food in the house. That on top of my daily 1200, too, so I'm about 500 over my TDEE for today. That's about a day of restriction down the drain.

But it's weird: you'd think the whole day I'd have been trying to steer myself away from binging, knowing it was going to happen, but even though I know I'll wake up at 3AM feeling horrendous amounts of guilt, even though I feel guilty and disgusting now, I don't honestly think I (not my ED) personally care?

I tried to purge but couldn't. Guess I've lost my knack for it. But a big part of me is just rolling with the punches of my ED now. I'd be frightened if this became a regular thing and caused me to gain or maintain my weight for too long, but right now I'm just like, whatever? Like I've just accepted all the behaviours and the emotional rollercoaster of my ED and no matter what it makes me think or do, outside of that I'm totally nonchalant. I find this frankly more depressing than when I used to cry about eating 50 calories more than I wanted to. Now it feels like I've just accepted my fate is this.

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[Discussion] Does anyone else HATE waterparks??
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 13:52:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rqk0q/does_anyone_else_hate_waterparks/
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Or public pools of any kind??? I hate this so much I feel so exposed and fat! And everyone is wearing sunglasses so I feel like theyre all looking at me and judging me??? And I just feel so disgusting and embarrassed!! Oh my godddd kill me please!!!

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[Discussion] How do you know it's working?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Thu Jul 7 13:28:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rqfiq/how_do_you_know_its_working/
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Obvs the best sign of all is getting thinner and all the non-scale victories that come with that (thigh gap, bone markers, etc.). But for short term motivation, I know my behaviors are having some kind of impact when -

* I feel slightly drunk/manic and a little nauseated all day
* my lips and fingertips are always tingling (I think this is electrolytes more than anything but still)
* pooping slows down to a couple times a week or fewer (disgusting but yup)
* I start peeing like its my job as my body dumps unneeded glycogen storage water
* cardio gives me dark-edged vision and my lifts/bodyweight strength reps plummet
* my stomach is empty enough for any meal or water to show.

So demented. Any favorite signs you have?

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[Other] I know I'm no artist by any means but I doodles how I feel I look vs how I want to look.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 13:12:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rqcmi/i_know_im_no_artist_by_any_means_but_i_doodles/
---
http://imgur.com/xeiug4K

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[Discussion] You know you're ED
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 12:35:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rq5ph/you_know_youre_ed/
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When you're going to get two teeth pulled and your first thought is "wow! I wonder how much they weigh!".

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[Other] An interesting read about fat loss for my fellow Exercise Bulimics/Orthorexics and EDers out there. :)
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Thu Jul 7 12:16:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rq20b/an_interesting_read_about_fat_loss_for_my_fellow/
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http://www.marksdailyapple.com/why-exercise-actually-does-matter-for-weight-loss/#more-61244

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[Tip] PSA: $5 off next order of $20 or more at GarLicit.com, SippingBroth.com, AuntieGretchens.com expires 8/31/16 (coupon I got with my recent order of Millie's!)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 12:15:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rq1sw/psa_5_off_next_order_of_20_or_more_at_garlicitcom/
---
http://imgur.com/a/3ETs1

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[Discussion] la croix
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Thu Jul 7 11:58:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rpyf5/la_croix/
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Look...maybe I'm just not acclimated to the taste but every flavor tastes like bitter carbonation. Why is there so much hype over it??

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[Intro] I've been a lurker, too...
/u/Voodoo_dol1
Created: Thu Jul 7 11:41:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rpv0k/ive_been_a_lurker_too/
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I decided to make a new account and come out of the shadows (though admittedly, the shadows are my favorite place to be).
I am Voodoo Doll (and people really call me that. It's from hotel transylvania) and I am 27! I am married to a beautiful, loving man, and we have two cats (Clove and Little Bat).

I grew up with a mom who had a mom that constantly talked about her weight, so my mom did the same. My biological father liked to make fun of me for being fat, starring when I was about 9. My mom started going me diet pills when I was 12-13, which I attribute to her being very young and not really realizing that even though I was tall and looked older than 13, I wasn't.

I was my highest weight between 16-17, getting up to 170 lbs, then I had my first break up and between February and April (and my 18th birthday), I dropped down to about 135 lbs. I wound up dating the same guy for 2 more years and went back to 151 lbs. When we broke up for the second and final time, I knew it was coming and I couldn't control it so I started exercising a lot. Then I stopped eating. I dropped to around 135 again, probably lower, but I didn't have a scale.

I had hovered between 132 (my lowest Wright I ever actually saw on a scale) and 140 until my husband and I hit a rough patch last year and I started drinking heavily. I ballooned up to 156-158 lbs in a matter of months, and upon stepping on the scale and seeing that coupled with no longer fitting into any of my pretty clothes, I felt extremely out of control. This was the day before my 27th birthday.

I kind of realized that on my entire birthday weekend trip, I hadn't been able to get up and go out without having a drink in a to go cup. I feel so bad for my poor husband, he cannot say no to me and I realize now I probably put him in a terrible spot constantly watching me refuse to do anything without a drink first and gaining weight like crazy.

So I stopped drinking. Not entirely, I will have a drink here and there, and I've had one night out with a few more but I only drink every few weeks instead of every night. I also discovered the utter MAGIC of the EC stack. Holy cow. (I have a friend who has gone from about 150lbs to...man she has to be mid-high 200s now, she won't say, who I tried to tell about the EC stack, because she's pretty upset about her weight. She probably won't listen. She's one of my main motivations in losing weight. She's been married for less than a year, and got married like 6 months after meeting him. She gained THAT much weight in such a short time. That terrifies me.)

So I'm at 129.8 pounds as of this morning. I try to not eat more than 700 calories a day, but have been able to stay under for a while. I still do my EC stack, taking a week off every few months.

I also wanted to mention that I take Bacopa pills (I got some for free and decided to try them out), and with these things, I will never have to take a laxative again. I have been eating food and "keeping it" for less than 20-30 minutes while taking this stuff. Yesterday, I was passing pure water. TMI, I know, but just I'm case anyone is looking for something other than a laxative, research bacopa!

I also have been taking pantothenic acid and along with the bacopa bathroom ordeals, and the EC stack, NY desire to eat is completely nil. I feel full all the time, albeit a little dehydrated.

OK sorry, it felt good to get it all out and write down my story and my methods right now.

---

[Intro] Let me introduce myself!
/u/CollegeThrowaway1216
Created: Thu Jul 7 10:52:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rplnt/let_me_introduce_myself/
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Hey guys! I've been lurking here for almost a year on my other account and I decided it's about time to get to know all of you! I'm currently 159lbs at 5'4" and I want to get to 115 eventually. You guys seem so supportive and I really want to be a part of this community. I've struggled with binging and purging but I have troubles restricting and I want to start doing that instead. Sometimes I feel really weird about even having disordered eating because no one in my personal life would ever guess it because I actually did power lifting for so long. Which of course brings up another conflict of whether I want to lose all my muscle and look more feminine and dainty, or if I want to continue to grow and have that muscle be defined. I flip flop on that daily so bear with me :/. And because of my history with weightlifting and such i don't look as big as i am (to other people) and i know all those little tricks to cut weight fast but it's unsustainable. Also I'm a casual weed smoker and my munchies definitely get the best of me. Well I know this was rambley and probably the worst intro ever but hi!!

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trying to get to 95 pounds. advice?
/u/suckmyassssss
Created: Thu Jul 7 10:46:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rpkdl/trying_to_get_to_95_pounds_advice/
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[removed]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 7 10:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rpbs3/daily_food_diary_july_07_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 07, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Tip] Free Kindle Book - Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingston. I haven't read it yet, but it has some good reviews. Might be UK only.
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 134 lbs | 22.1 | -22 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 09:12:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rp21f/free_kindle_book_never_binge_again_by_glenn/
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https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B014V1Q6SI/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o00_?ie=UTF8&psc=1

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[Rant/Rave] In America, We Romanticize Overeating
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Thu Jul 7 08:42:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rowbo/in_america_we_romanticize_overeating/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/4820884d884646ef9cbe170c2c5df568?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=4818ec05ada5aa87edddcdf40bb90017

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[Goal] Breaking my 0 cal fast into a beverage only fast after 40h!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Jul 7 08:38:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rovob/breaking_my_0_cal_fast_into_a_beverage_only_fast/
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http://i.imgur.com/SPwHhwK.jpg

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[Intro] Hi all!
/u/Kitten612
Created: Thu Jul 7 07:49:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ron84/hi_all/
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Hi everyone. Been reading here a while and am finally posting. This has got to be the most supportive and welcoming group I have ever found!
I have struggled with weight here and there through out my life. I met ana when I was 14 and have maintained being the skinny girl most of my life (I am 36 now). After a serious battle with mental illness and alcohol addiction last year I was down to 95 lbs (I am 5'5"). Then I got into treatment. I was given anxiety and depression meds, and one of the side effects being an increase in appetite, which due to my weight my dr did purposely. Well it definitely worked! In addition I quit smoking about 4 months ago too. I got up to 152 a few months ago, which is the most I have ever weighed, and I am miserable with it!
On the good side of things, aside from my weight, I am finally happy and I am really grateful for that. I will be a year sober in October and it has changed my life drastically.However I refuse to be the fat girl. It is not ok and I can't live like this. I started restricting although I have had some road bumps to it but I am ready and need to get back to where I belong by any means.
So that's where I am at now. Today I start an EC stack and I am determined! My current goal is 110 (I am at 143 now) and I can't get there soon enough!
So I know this got long but I mostly wanted to post to share my bronkaid buying experience and tips as I know that can be an issue for some. I live in Florida and got mine at a Walgreens (60 tabs for $14). They had it right at the pharmacy and I had to go up and ask for it. I was nervous and feeling super janky though lol! I had read somewhere that taking a Benadryl at night helps your receptors stay clear for it to work longer (don't know how true that is but whatever) so I grabbed a box of Benadryl to buy with it and the pharmacy cashier didn't even look twice at me. Just scanned my ID, made me sign that I wasn't gonna make meth lol, and I was on my way. Ended up being way easier than expected!
So I am excited to get back on track and so glad I found this sub!

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[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support July 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jul 7 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ro6xv/weekly_emotional_support_july_07_2016/
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We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Goal] Hit My First Goal! 15 lbs down in 17 days!
/u/BrokenButNotDeadYet [5'6.5" | 207.6lbs | STG: 180| -15.0lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 05:33:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ro2zs/hit_my_first_goal_15_lbs_down_in_17_days/
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Friends? I did it. I hit my first goal! Of course I have a long, long way to go, but I just hit 207.6 lbs, which is officially 15 pounds off this disgusting body. This journey started on June 20th, and I am taking this milestone as a pretty big deal (for ME, of course, I know I'm still morbidly obese.) I couldn't have done any of this without y'all, so THANK YOU!

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[Thinspo] Reverse Thinspo. Watching his videos makes me never want to eat...
/u/cow_in_training [5'10" | CW: 228.2 GW: 120 | 32 | -7.4 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 7 05:28:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ro2df/reverse_thinspo_watching_his_videos_makes_me/
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9uqoIkY8Nd7J9Gnk98W1w

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[Rant/Rave] I'm 2 inches shorter than I thought I was
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Thu Jul 7 02:40:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rnjet/im_2_inches_shorter_than_i_thought_i_was/
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I've always thought I was 5'6". But I just found out I'm 5'4" and this changes everything. My BMI, my TDEE, my new goal weight, the date I'll reach my goal weight and other things. I don't know how to feel, honestly. I just feel like I have to work a lot harder now. :/


I hate myself

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[Other] Well said, Roald Dahl.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 7 01:54:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rneq8/well_said_roald_dahl/
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http://i.imgur.com/RMm6Za3.jpg

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[Other] after a vicious lax cycle
/u/Sighgal
Created: Thu Jul 7 01:26:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rnbvm/after_a_vicious_lax_cycle/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/b8c0d9e26a3c42118d03b82bcc7ab850?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=0ea9c77d6e555287f77c1be3f762510f

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[Help] Maybe bloody stools? Gross TMI warning
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 7 01:21:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rnbcm/maybe_bloody_stools_gross_tmi_warning/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Alone is good... right?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jul 7 01:06:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rn9rt/alone_is_good_right/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] helphelphelp
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 23:51:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rn18d/helphelphelp/
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i can't stop bingeing... all i've done for the past 4 days is wake up, binge until i feel too sick to move, fall asleep and repeat........ i was supposed to be restricting this month....... i fucked everything up. i'm literally losing control of my life

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[Discussion] Anyone else hate jeans?
/u/08070427 [5'5" | 127.5 | 21.3 | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 23:41:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rn01k/anyone_else_hate_jeans/
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The title sums it up pretty well.

I can manage to feel pretty good about myself in most clothes... depending on the day. But jeans? Literally never. Unless they're super high waisted. And then? Maybe.


I just got home from spending a whole day at work in regular waisted jeans. I felt /okaaay/. Not great. But, okay. As soon as I lifted my shirt to check my waist (yay EDs!), I just felt like a fucking beast. A monster. I looked like everything was just flowing over. Bulging. Squishing. The whole nine.


I got home and changed into sweats. Drank a bit, picked at some food (the first all day), and watched TV. I justed checked my waist again and I felt like I looked alright. Bloated. Definitely some room for improvement, but nowhere near as bad as a few hours earlier when I hadn't eaten anything but veggies and hadn't drank beer.


So yeah. Anyone else hate jeans? Or have certain clothes that they never feel good in?

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[Other] This is not really elated but I have a confession
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 23:28:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rmyc0/this_is_not_really_elated_but_i_have_a_confession/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Legs at the gym 5"3 and 103 lbs. some days I'm satisfied with my weight and others I want to die.
/u/greciamarzz
Created: Wed Jul 6 22:57:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rmu9e/legs_at_the_gym_53_and_103_lbs_some_days_im/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/b28bb0ac137546ee929be13b4a87bb0a?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=80bd346ae333b6bd7985431c49df2199

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[Goal] Tomorrow I face my greatest challenge so far
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Wed Jul 6 22:29:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rmqdw/tomorrow_i_face_my_greatest_challenge_so_far/
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I will attempt to go to Costco and not eat ANY samples! Wish me luck!

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[Other] sigh
/u/Sighgal
Created: Wed Jul 6 21:36:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rmilr/sigh/
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When you love your SO but it would be so much easier to restrict if you were alone.

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[Intro] tipping points
/u/poplollies [5'3 | 174 | 31.0 | 0 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 21:12:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rmf2g/tipping_points/
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hey y'all. i never thought i'd be posting here, but i've been struggling with disordered eating for 8 years, give or take.

tonight, my dad was basically insulting me about a dress i was wearing. i admit, it probably showed a little too much cleavage (because my boobs got bigger as i gained weight, lmao). he told this to my mom, and my mom told me this. basically... "your clothes don't fit, and i know you got fat. you don't want to be fat and ugly, right? but your disease (PCOS) is affecting you."

now, i don't blame my PCOS for anything. i have it, but it's not why i'm fat. i'm fat because i eat too much. but basically my mom saying i'm fat and ugly really hurts. and it's time to make a change.

so here's to day 1 and not being 'fat and ugly' and having my parents shut their stupid trap about my weight once and for all (they talk about it a lot behind my back). nice to meet y'all.

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[Help] Afraid of messing up my metabolism if I try to eat normally.
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Jul 6 21:10:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rmerk/afraid_of_messing_up_my_metabolism_if_i_try_to/
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I've just been thinking about what I'm going to do to maintain my new body after I reach my UGW, and the truth is, I have no idea. If I eat the TDEE for my goal weight (1200ish), will I be able to maintain? They say 95% of people who lose weight gain it all back within a year, and it was certainly the case with me last year. I started at 125, got down to 107, and crept back up to 120 over the course of the year. Though that was due to "recovery" AKA negligence. I'm safe as long as I don't go over, right? Or will all the restriction mess up my muscle mass and my metabolic rate so badly that I gain weight even eating at my TDEE?

And then there's the idea of doing weight training or resistance training to build up muscle to make sure I can keep burning fat over time, but that requires a ton of protein, and, apparently, gaining weight. And to be honest, I don't have the energy to count my macros NOW, let alone this coming school semester.

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling good
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 6 20:41:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rma6q/feeling_good/
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Haven't weighed myself today, but prevented myself from drinking a third bottle of wine (fairly normal for me). Did eat a small personal pizza, but purged. Have been fasting from midnight-9pm lately, and enjoying every second. And today, I had even better luck than usual:

My friend gave me a $40 gift card to Ulta for my birthday about a month ago. Today I decided to use it to buy the Naked 3 palette, with which I'm obsessed. I get to the checkout, only to find that I also have $8 worth of points, so I opt to use them, and there was a free gift of Deluxe Perversion mascara with any Urban Decay purchase of $35 or more. The cashier must have been new, so she rang it up without putting in the points first, which meant she had to void the transaction. The GM came over to do that, and put the ENTIRE transaction onto a merchandise credit, so I wound up getting the palette, the mascara, and the free samples of primer and foundation included in the palette packaging for -$8 and change. THEY PAID ME TO GET THE PALETTE OF MY DREAMS!!!!!

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[Discussion] Restricting and I can't sleep at night
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Wed Jul 6 20:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rm40i/restricting_and_i_cant_sleep_at_night/
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Anyone else experience this? Usually I just am not sleepy for whatever reason. I stay up until morning time, and then I eat my only meal for the day (which is breakfast). What is weird is that after eating, I get INCREDIBLY sleepy. I then sleep for like 4 hours and wake up at noon.

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[Rant/Rave] Cant stop eating...
/u/deadtime3am [5'2 | 99 | 18.7 | A]
Created: Wed Jul 6 19:28:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rly9o/cant_stop_eating/
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I feel like such a terrible failure, I cant stop shoveling food in my mouth. Such a fat fucking pig...

Why cant I just stick to restricting like usual? Why has this last week been so much harder... I keep pretending it's cause I'm working, and burning more calories so it's okay to be eating more... But I just can't get rid of the guilty feeling. I want to stop purging, and stick to restricting, but it's so hard for some reason.

I don't know what to do, I want advise but not really, just kind of wanted to rant I guess.

I need to get more primatine next time I'm at the store.

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[Intro] [INTRO] Hello!!
/u/teensytinydoll
Created: Wed Jul 6 19:25:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlxwo/intro_hello/
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Hi! I'm new here. I have been involved with eating disorder related communities off and on for the last decade or so but I have had quite a long hiatus. I joined to lurk and didn't expect to participate but have recently felt the urge to do so. I have had a lot of change in my life in the last year and have found it hard to connect with people IRL as well as the internet. I am lonely though. I want to feel understood. I think I can find that here. I have been mildly successful in recovery for a couple of years. My thoughts gradually began slipping months ago and it is quickly becoming harder to fight the urge to go back to old habits. I look forward with connecting to some of you. I hope you are all having a good day. <3

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[Thinspo] Thinspo because I am eating my fingers with anxiety over impending dinner.
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -15lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 18:30:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlp4w/thinspo_because_i_am_eating_my_fingers_with/
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http://imgur.com/a/A0psw

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[Discussion] We’ve long blamed carbs for making us fat. What if that's wrong?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 18:10:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlm6i/weve_long_blamed_carbs_for_making_us_fat_what_if/
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http://www.vox.com/2016/7/6/12105660/do-low-carb-diets-work

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[Rant/Rave] Highkey Screams
/u/itsalrightitsalright [5.8 | 153 | 22.79 | ~14 | f]
Created: Wed Jul 6 18:04:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rll5f/highkey_screams/
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In my life and the way I see it, is that you get a certain number of special days. There are special occasions, formals, prom, weddings. Etc. There are vacations. There are minitrips.

Well, I have a special day coming up. And it's summer, one with my busy parents not even around to pay attention to me. So, perfect time to fast like my life depended on it (Which it kinda feels like it does), right? And I try. I try, but my mom is like "Pudding! Peach Cobbler? Cupcakes!! Oooh.. I'm gonna make lemon raspberry cake for you sister's birthday!"

So fasting is really fucking hard. Binging, now that's easy. In my mouth goes everything. And over the weekend, my scale jumped up from 152 to *160*. I don't know if that's water weight or what, but I weighed in today and I'm at 157. Hell, that's what this is. Hell.

And the worst part about it, is that in ten days I am going to have cameras trained on me. I am going to have a crown on my head, I'm going to be the highest station possible for my local part of the organization I'm in. I'll be damn near the center of attention, and I'll only be able to think about how gross I look in the lighting with my piggy face and double chin. How the gold in my crown makes my cheeks look so... *squishy*. I'll be wearing a long white dress, and the purple cape will only make it worse. It'll make me seem so large... Did you know I'm the biggest girl in my group? I'm the biggest one to go upline and hold this station? I'm 99% sure it's true.

And then, to top it all off, I get to see Hamilton. *Hamilton*, the musical I've loved and loved for what feels like eons. I'm not gonna buy a large shirt for that. I wanna be small.

But wait! There's more! I'm going to Disney a week later. I'm so grateful, but I can't wear jeans all day in Florida. And I can't wear shorts, I'm a walking bag of cottage cheese. My legs are so... lumpy that it's offensive to others.

I'm just so annoyed at myself and decisions. I'm pissed. I just wanna be skinny. I wanna be worth all of the money my parents are putting into my ugly, jiggly, lumpy life.

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[Help] Double issue for me. ANY Whiskey lovers here??? I need help.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:58:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlk6f/double_issue_for_me_any_whiskey_lovers_here_i/
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I am constantly bloated, even if I poop and I don't get periods. I just took a pregnancy test to double check and I'm good there, so I want to cut out the coke zero that I usually use as a mixer. Does ANYONE know of something 0 calorie that is non carbonated? I feel like this is what's making me look pregnant and full of shit all the time. Help me please. I love whiskey too much ): so I can't cut that out.

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[Help] new to sub, wanted some tips
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:57:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rljxk/new_to_sub_wanted_some_tips/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] Today I will begin a 10-Week Restriction on both food and sex. Wish me luck.
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:45:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rli39/today_i_will_begin_a_10week_restriction_on_both/
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**Backstory:**
In the last couple of weeks since early June, I reduced my calorie intake from a regular 2,000-3,000 calorie intake with heavy lifting and cardio to practically 500 calories with moderate exercise. Then when I started working 60 hours a week, both at an office job and a retail job, it dwindled to 125 calories or less.

My body has enough for the 19 years of damage. I started becoming sexually active at 14, dated many guys who used me and cheated on me, along with parents who were scared that for their kids to starve, and that food is a blessing. I was always taught to never ever throw away good food so I always ate when I could. I wasn’t as active as my siblings, but just ate like them. I gained significant weight, which I then lost through the “healthy” way within a couple of months before I started college.

I started falling for a guy at my university. He was really smart. I thought we could date, but he told me that he wasn’t looking for anything and that his education was first. I respected that, but I wanted to be with him because he was a really good best friend and he motivated me to do well in school. But, his relationship with food was really unhealthy. When we hung out, it was trying new food places. It was fun at first, but then it became costly and I started gaining weight again. We also had sex on average, 5-10 times a week, after classes, at his house, in my dorm, etc. I didn’t want him to get bored of me, and I felt like I was helping him relax from school. After a couple of months, he stopped talking to me out of the blue.

I spent days crying, not eating, feeling useless. My friend encouraged me to join Tinder, and I was so anti-Tinder at the time, but I went for it. It ended up working very nicely, because I got to choose who I talked to. I met a lot of guys who were programmers, software engineers, etc that offered me advice on what I should do in college so that I can work for the big time companies. I also had a lot of safe, healthy, and consented sex. I never felt shitty and I enjoyed the independence I had from “hooking up”. I had all the same amount of fun, without the obligation of a relationship, so I could still do homework and study and do my own thing with my friends.

This June, I was sexually assaulted on campus from a guy who wanted to date me desperately. I liked not being in a relationship, casual dating was more fun for me, but he convinced me that he would treat me with respect, work out with me, and also tutor me for my math classes next quarter. But he started getting weirdly too into me, and I started to get anxiety, and slowly stopped going out in public, and I wouldn’t go into the dining halls so I starved myself. When he lied about all that and he assaulted me, I started feeling the uselessness again. I did a lot of self-blame. I was scared to go outside. I wasn’t me anymore.

I gradually stopped eating. I felt ashamed of my body. I was slowly destroying it with all the abuse I was doing to it. I don’t care about being pretty anymore, I just want to have something in my control. I don’t care if I loose my bubble butt, or my boobs. Sex and food has gotten me into a lot of trouble and I need to learn to control both.

—————————

So today, I formally propose a 10-week restriction from both food and sex, both negative factors in my life, and this will be a method of accountability.

I know 10 weeks isn’t going to fix everything, but it is a start. I want to challenge myself in the next 10 weeks to find happiness in learning and living and experiencing the life I have right now.

Current plan is to have 2-3 zero calorie days a week. All other days will be 100 calories or less. I get one paycheck every other Wednesday and another every other Friday. I will treat myself out to one healthy, nutrient dense meal every time I get a paycheck. In addition, I will be cycling an EC stack, only using it when I can literally feel myself starving.

For exercise, I plan on walking or running a cumulative 10 miles a day. I’ll be using Fitbit to record this.

I’m also going broke due to rent and extra summer classes ($1100 a month, yay for living a cute beach town in Northern California!) so if I spend less on food, I will save more on a cute wardrobe for next school year.

At the end of the 10 weeks I will use all the money I saved to buy new clothes in San Francisco. I’ve been always the person to buy from the sales racks, but if I really stick with my plan, I will deserve this. All the Lululemon, Brandy Melville, North Face, and Patagonia I want.

I’m really glad I found this sub. I feel like everyone on here is supportive. I’ll do a before and after pic post at the end of it for accountability too.

I’m nervous, but I’m excited because I know I can do this.

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how do I surpress my sugar cravings?
/u/AvalonBloom
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:43:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlhmo/how_do_i_surpress_my_sugar_cravings/
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Also how do I curb my food cravings? Often I'm not hungry, I just really want food? Any tips?

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Today I will being a 10-Week Restriction on both food and sex. Wish me luck.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:35:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlgh4/today_i_will_being_a_10week_restriction_on_both/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Is this weird?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:20:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rldzk/is_this_weird/
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Something that helps me not binge is looking at good foods (browsing FB, r/food). I think it's something about me not having the ingredients to make the food, tricking my brain into thinking I can't eat??? Another thing I do is prepare food for other people and not have any. Is this odd?

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[Intro] hello!
/u/Sighgal
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:20:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rldvq/hello/
---
So I never did a real intro! I'm 5'1 and 180lbs. I've struggled my whole life with food and my weight. I have recently been in a binge cycle. I've gained so much...it hurts. I dunno, it's nice being around those who understand..
I'm not good at these, but hello.

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[Discussion] Bralette question
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:10:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlc93/bralette_question/
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Fellow bralette wearers, where do y'all buy your bralettes? When I reach my next goal weight, I want to get another one. I've gotten a couple from aerie and Francesca's, but I'm stuck on where to go next.....

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[Goal] day 2
/u/Sighgal
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:04:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlbdf/day_2/
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Day 2 of my EC stack. Wish me luck!

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[Intro] Intro/Question
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 17:00:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlase/introquestion/
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Hi everyone, I've been lurking/sort of posting here for a few weeks, but this is my formal introduction. I'm 5'9", and I currently weigh 172 pounds. I just finished my freshman year of college, and instead of the 'freshman 15' I gained 20 pounds, putting my weight at 180 pounds. I wasn't exactly skinny to begin with, so the extra weight really showed. During high school, I struggled a little bit with restricting, but mainly binging. I always dealt with my issues with food. I've always been so self conscious about my weight, but I've never had the willpower to change anything. After finding this group, I finally feel like I'm ready to make a change!

Now for the question: my ultimate goal weight is 140 pounds. Will losing 40 pounds cause any issues with loose skin? Nearly all of my weight is carried in my thighs, if that changes anything.

Thank you guys!

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Today I will being a 10 week restriction from both food and sex. Wish me luck.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 16:57:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rlabm/today_i_will_being_a_10_week_restriction_from/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] someone slap me across the face
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Wed Jul 6 16:00:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rl0rz/someone_slap_me_across_the_face/
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I'm binging *Every*. *Other*. *Day.* I hate wasting potential opportunities, I hate purging, I hate making progress one day and ruining it the next.

I'm going to fast tomorrow and then set a slightly higher calorie goal to get back on track. After that, this is done. I'm tired of being exhausted without getting any thinner.

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[Other] Not quite thinspo, but definitely sums up my ED. Give it a listen!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 15:55:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rkzv3/not_quite_thinspo_but_definitely_sums_up_my_ed/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCBgQpWWxvg

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[Other] Completely random, and probably TMI, but...
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 6 15:43:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rkxzb/completely_random_and_probably_tmi_but/
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Does anyone else get wicked horny when fasting/restricting? I find that my libido skyrockets when I'm not eating...anyone else, or am I just a freak? Lol.

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[Other] Pressure
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 15:43:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rkxyp/pressure/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Not one, but THREE broken treadmills at my apartment's fitness center.
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Wed Jul 6 15:39:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rkxc8/not_one_but_three_broken_treadmills_at_my/
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Dear Mgmt at my apartment,

Um, WTF!? Don't you realize I have an ED to tend to? How am I supposed to get my Netflix binge in when ALL the treadmills won't go?

Yeah. Fine, I'll use the elliptical. But it's NOT THE SAME! It's wobbly, and unnatural, and good for my joints, so I don't like it.

I know, the new treadmills were supposed to be here yesterday, you've told me twice. But it is today now, and therefore I will be quite cross with you until I can get in my proper 8 hour, uphill, 3.5 mph, spooky movie marathon binge in.

Yours truly,

depressionbunny

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[Discussion] You know you have an ED when...
/u/thin_is_in [5'8 | 115lbs | 17.3 | -35lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 15:26:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rkv1i/you_know_you_have_an_ed_when/
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You're googling the calorie count for ExLax. Too stereotypical! Yours?

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Stress eating when struggling with anxiety??
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 15:20:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rku53/stress_eating_when_struggling_with_anxiety/
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I've been intensely on edge this week because of all these major presentations and stressors during my summer classes. I've found it almost impossible for me to go a day without binging this week. I know anxiety boosts your metabolism because even if I'm sitting at my desk like 'oh very attentive university student' my legs are shaking like CRAZY under the desk and I can barely keep my hands still because of sheer nerves... but I can't imagine that being enough to offset the calories I've been taking in lately? Especially since it's all really terrible food I've using to calm down so I don't fuck up my next presentation/exam/whatever...? Not sure I can ask for advice on this (unless you have similar anxiety issues) but yeah I mostly just wanted to vent and cry over my laptop for a bit.

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Camping tips?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Wed Jul 6 15:08:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rks23/camping_tips/
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Going coming for two nights, I'll be bringing my fiber one cereal and sandwiches that are roughly 150 a go.

I'll also be drinking but I'll be attempting to use vodka and mio (0)cals so as to stay very hydrated in an attempt to not gain water.

Any other fun things to do for excersising, good low recepie? :) Have you ever been camping? How'd it go?

Sorry no flair, on mobile.

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[Help] Do you guys do anything differently when you know you are going to be drinking (alcohol)?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 14:42:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rkngr/do_you_guys_do_anything_differently_when_you_know/
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I drink most weekends and sometimes on weekdays. It's not a problem, if that's worth mentioning. Problem is, it's really easy to out do it, especially when you're restricting.


Every once in awhile I'll drink to the point that I puke, and that always makes me feel better (purging, getting alcohol out of your system, getting rid of calories.. Whatever you want to call it, I don't mind it). However, sometimes it's nice not to be the one who gets super drunk really fast and wake up with a massive brain cell deficit hangover.


I try to eat a little something something before I drink, but it never feels like I've eaten enough or healthy enough to combat everything I just said. Do you guys say fuck it and continue to not eat? Have something very particular to eat? A great fuck ton of water? I need tips ya'll.

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[Discussion] Best ED films/shows?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 12:38:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rk131/best_ed_filmsshows/
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Looking for something motivating to watch. I like the shows "Make it or break it" and "supersize vs super skinny" and the movie "Perfect Body" but hoping for some new ones. All the movies I find are pretty old.

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[Help] HAE found it harder to restrict as you've lost weight/become underweight?
/u/emptymamii [5'5" | 101 | 16.8 | GW: 84 | 21F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 12:25:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rjyu2/hae_found_it_harder_to_restrict_as_youve_lost/
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I used to be able to restrict to less than 400 cals/day with exercise for 1.5 weeks at a time very easily when I weighed ~125lbs two months ago. Now I'm ~101lbs and can barely restrict for 2 days in a row before binging and starting the binge/purge/restrict cycle again. I totally feel like a failure and like my life is outta control every day since restricting has become SO hard when it used to be SO easy for me. Has restricting become more difficult for any of y'all as you've lost weight + any ideas how to make it easier again other than upping calories?

I'm not quite sure why this is happening (or if it's all in my head?) since nothing else in my diet or lifestyle has changed anddddd I'm still 15lbs away from UGW ha ha ha... ): only cause I can think of is that I've gone from normal weight/BMI at 125 (20.8) to underweight currently (16.8) but I'm not sure if that would affect my restricting capabilities.

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[Discussion] Arctic zone verses halo top?
/u/Briismars46 [5"6 | CW:123 | 19.85 |GW:109 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 12:22:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rjya6/arctic_zone_verses_halo_top/
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I live in a really remote area with very limited food options typically. I've heard good things about Halo top ice cream and was going to ship myself some but it's so expensive to do that for a pint of ice cream. Then yesterday the store started stocking Arctic zone pints. 35 cal per serving, ~150 cal per whole pint. I got one (the chocolate peanut butter one) and it's okay. So it's less calories than Halo top but I didn't know if someone had tried both of those and had a preference for one of them?

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[Rant/Rave] My ED in a nutshell
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 11:58:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rjts8/my_ed_in_a_nutshell/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Mother. Fucking. Bras.
/u/lua_89 [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -4 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 11:13:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rjk8y/mother_fucking_bras/
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Can I just vent for a second?

4 pounds. I'm down 4 measly pounds and my go-to bras don't fit. I'm on the autism spectrum and have sensory processing disorder so everything has to fit flawlessly or it ends up driving me batshit. I'm tempted to just go without but my boobs are small as it is and they kind of disappear altogether without one.

Fuuuuuck bras.

---

[Rant/Rave] Lol, sometimes I just laugh
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Jul 6 11:12:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rjk18/lol_sometimes_i_just_laugh/
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When I look at myself and see the mess I've become.

I'm sitting outside on a bench, 19h into my fast to avoid having to eat dinner. I'm freezing but don't want to put my jacket on because it'll burn more cals.

I just feel crazy. I probably am. Lol.

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[Rant/Rave] Binging. Hormones. Oh, period, where art thou?
/u/08070427 [5'5" | 127.5 | 21.3 | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 10:23:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rjate/binging_hormones_oh_period_where_art_thou/
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So, like most people this weekend was a total bust for me. Three different cook outs. Lots and lots of beer and literally no exercise.


The week prior to the holiday I was due for my period and was feeling all sorts of hormonal and emotional. I ate way more than I usually do during the week and didn't exercise at all. I also didn't weigh myself. (I usually gain right before shark week, so why torture myself?)


WELL, here I am a week later. No period. And, after weighing myself... I've maintained...? I'm so very confused. I'm definitely not thin enough to be losing my period. And I already took a test and I'm not pregnant. So...what gives? I mean I'm not gunna complain about maintaining...but I'm super confused.


Has anyone else experienced something similar?

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 6 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rj6tb/daily_food_diary_july_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Thinspo] Game of Thrones Thinspo
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 09:18:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4riyxg/game_of_thrones_thinspo/
---
https://imgur.com/a/pdw11

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[Rant/Rave] eating TDEE one day/week?
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Wed Jul 6 09:06:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4riwvb/eating_tdee_one_dayweek/
---
Okay, so. Recently it has come to my attention that I am a Hot Mess.

I was home alone for about four days, and my weekly nutrition appointment this week was a shitshow. I knew it would be, and I hate water loading, but I did it anyway, because I figured it would counteract some of the inevitable weight drop.

Not so!! I weighed myself on my own scale at home beforehand. 113, rounded it up a little to 114. Nice. Ok. Didn't expect that much of a drop. On nutritionist's scale, after a ton of fluids and breakfast? 117-118 (she wouldn't specify, dammit), which is down from 123.4 like last week.

I am now Worried. Yep, capital-w Worried. This happens every damn time, where I go into this thinking I can control it, and I so, so can't. I think it's being alone that does it. I try to do the right thing foodwise, I heck it up, and then I heck it up more and drink to feel better.

I tried my best to eat at my TDEE yesterday, which is around 1800 for me based on most calculators I've used. It sucks, because I don't usually count calories religiously; I just eat the foods I feel safe eating and whatever I have to at home to keep other people happy.

Will eating my TDEE one day a week slow this at all? I have another weekend where I'll be home alone, and then an entire week starting the 23rd of July. Should I just make Tuesday my TDEE day?

Argh. I'm so frustrated. I also need to be up 2.5 by next week (ideally), or at least maintain (let's hope). I'm really not into the whole 'higher level of care' thing, and I'm fairly certain I couldn't afford it right now anyway.

I'm sorry. Every time I mean to make a nice post it turns into a rant.

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[Discussion] Weighing yourself before and after everything
/u/Wkndmope
Created: Wed Jul 6 08:50:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4riu7q/weighing_yourself_before_and_after_everything/
---
Today I woke up and weighed myself. 127.8 lbs. Wonderful. I'm back at the weight where I was wondering how I let myself get this fat in the first place. Happy, but absolutely not happy about it.

Add two packets of instant coffee to room temperature 700mL bottle of water. Drink half of it.

Take a long needed poop.

Immediately afterwards weigh myself again. 128.8 lbs. Day ruined.

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[Help] 6 week binge. My clothes don't fit anymore.
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 45.4 kg (101 lbs) | binged 23 May - 7 July]
Created: Wed Jul 6 08:50:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4riu73/6_week_binge_my_clothes_dont_fit_anymore/
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Heck, even my underwear doesn't fit anymore. I'm sitting here, crying my eyes out because I've just binged today. Having broken my promise to myself that today was going to be a binge free day and I'd go back to restricting.

It's been six weeks of "diet starts tomorrow". I haven't gone to the gym in six weeks. I'm fatter now than I've ever been in my life. I'm so lost and scared and I am literally at my heaviest now.

What's scariest is that it's all fat. After bingeing for so long, there's no way all this weight gain is water. My arms are huge, I have a muffin top, and my thighs are rubbing against each other.

I'm so broken and I don't know what to do.

---

[Discussion] If you were going to tell someone you trust about your ED for the first time, how would you say it?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 08:42:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rison/if_you_were_going_to_tell_someone_you_trust_about/
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Whether it's a new SO or a close friend or a family member. If you were going to partially or fully confess, how would you start? What would you say?

I'm just curious, I wonder about this a lot in case I ever get to this point with one of my close friends...I probably never will, but I mentally rehearse conversations a lot.

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[Help] Best at-home time killers when fasting?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 6 08:39:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ris40/best_athome_time_killers_when_fasting/
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Recently, I've found that I'm watching the clock a LOT when I'm trying to fast when I'm particularly hungry, and time seems to go to slooowww.

Anyone have any good time killers to make time seem to go by quicker? Preferably at home.. my little town doesn't have a lot to do, but loads of takeaways and bakeries etc so it's best if I stay in my room, lol.

(*Not a fast day for me today, I am gonna eat, but I wanna eat after 7pm only.. and I'm so hungry after the gym. 3.5 hours eurgghhh*)

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[Discussion] Deceptively calorie dense foods?
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 08:04:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rim7j/deceptively_calorie_dense_foods/
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I brought a small prepackaged salad from central market (it even says small or some variation of that in the name) for lunch at the office today. I scanned the barcode for easier logging on MFP and it came up as 600 calories. 600!!!! For one meal!!!!!!!!!! I'm really bummed and stressed about having miscounted calories in the past because I would absolutely never have estimated that at 600 on my own.

Has anyone else come across issues like this? Does anyone avoid non-obvious foods?

Sorry no flair, on mobile :(

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[Meme/Humor] me🍗irl
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 08:02:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rilwu/meirl/
---
https://imgur.com/xRy8scS

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[Discussion] Just realized something about "spreading out you calories"
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 07:38:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rii3x/just_realized_something_about_spreading_out_you/
---
I've just kind of realized something that I think many of you here already know, but it is quite a new way of thinking for me :)

Eating is a single "event" for me. I sit down eat my food and then go on with my day. But this also makes overeating much easier. I sit down to a meal, I eat it all (to the point were I feel very full) and then a couple of hours later I feel hungry again, so I eat again.

This idea of constantly eating SMALL amounts of food throughout the day has always been very foreign to me, but I truly realized the other day, that if I keep eating my regular sized dinner, but not in one sitting, I will have eaten less that day.
Spreading out your calories simply put...
When I have heard this expression before I always though "well that is what I do, because I don't get my total intake in one meal".

Really it never occurred to me before (I feel slightly stupid).
Because eating throughout the day, just a bite here and a bite there would greatly reduce the feeling of hunger! So overeating would become less of a risk.

As I said, I know many of you already know this, but if there is anyone else who have "misunderstood" this like me, I hope this helps! :)

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[Help] I gained for NO reason. Do I have to go back to secreley restricting?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Wed Jul 6 07:28:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rignd/i_gained_for_no_reason_do_i_have_to_go_back_to/
---
So I used to do like anywhere from 50-15

0 a day for a good long while. Recently I upped it to arnd 500~ with walking and a run every once and awhile.

So I'm at 260 cals and my friend comes over with some booze. I probably had maximum 4 rum and diet drinks... there is NO way I went over my tdee. ... I gained 2 lbls over night. I don't understand. This was my lowest weight. I just wanna sob and cry. I was so excited to see a new lw as I've been stuck at 111 -113for a month . But for the first time I didn't mess it up and I gained for no reason.

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[Rant/Rave] I am so overwhelmed, and it puts me in a shitty cycle.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Jul 6 07:04:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rid15/i_am_so_overwhelmed_and_it_puts_me_in_a_shitty/
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I will restrict heavily at 300-500 cal for the day.
I'll do this for 1-2 weeks, but become super overwhelmed. This is mostly because I get very obsessive and count calories, and recount calories, and just freak the fuck out in general (I think this would happen even if I gave myself a higher allotment)

So then I say fuck it, I'm gonna try to be normal.
Just a normal person, eating a normal amount of food.

Then I realize I'm NOT a normal person, and NOT capable of eating normal amounts of food, and BINGE BINGE BINGE.

So it's either mentally exhausted and physically uncomfortable from restricting.

Or mentally exhausted and physically uncomfortable from bingeing.

It's really a shit situation, lose-lose, you know?

The only good thing about restricting is that I'll at least look more decent.. it's just fucking mental torture, man.

Idk, rant/vent I guess. Anyone else do this? I feel like a failure no matter what, and I'm wondering if I'm alone in it.

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[Help] Drunkorexia is Real and He Barfed on My Car and Killed my Family
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 06:22:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ri7q6/drunkorexia_is_real_and_he_barfed_on_my_car_and/
---
Ok so maybe the killing part is a lie, but I'm a sucker for clickbait. What can I say?

I ate 3 granola bars yesterday and then proceeded to shotgun a beer and drink many shots of cheap whiskey with my friends. I even had some weed. Dude I was so cross-faded and I might have had alcohol poisoning??? I made myself barf for Good 2 Hours to feel better (who says bulimia doesn't come in handy sometimes?)

But I need help/advice::
This morning my chest feels tight, my heart is beating hard, and I keep getting hot flashes and chills. I'm p sure it's bc I'm dehydrated and my electrolytes are imbalanced but sipping gatorade and water hasn't done much....

I'm trying to nibble on some pretzels and stuff but I feel like I'm dying. Does anyone have experience with this?? Purging, restricting, binge-drinking, and the aftermath?

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[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday July 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jul 6 06:02:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ri5cg/way_to_go_wednesday_july_06_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for July 06, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Meme/Humor] A little encouragement for us Americans after the 4th
/u/TopCat1392 [5'3.5" | 111.4 | 19.88 | -26.6 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 05:37:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ri2e8/a_little_encouragement_for_us_americans_after_the/
---
http://imgur.com/NbZMVnj

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[Intro] Starting my first Fast today
/u/Deliria_Hysteria [5'6" | 136 | 21.71 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 04:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rhw55/starting_my_first_fast_today/
---
After lurking here for several weeks I decided to make an account and write something. I don't really know why because it will probably just bore you to death anyway... I just wanted to get out of the "closet" and you seem all so nice and understanding and somehow I find comfort in just reading you guys...

I've never been officially diagnosed, mostly because I avoid doctors like the plague. And even if I went, he probably wouldn't mention a thing because I'm a fat cow who doesn't really look like I have an eating disorder. Maybe I don't even have one, I mean, I seriously don't look like it! And the scale surely says I don't...

Anyway I was restricting again to 700 cal currently, very successful for 4 fucking weeks in a row (so proud) but then all hell broke lose and I binged for effing 1300 cals yesterday... I was devastated... cried in the bathroom for about half an hour while standing on the scale. My SO luckily didn't notice! He's always very ... attentive about my food choices (I have a history...)

But to start a fresh mid-week, I'm going on a fast today. I stocked up on broth and tea and can't wait to hit the gym when I come home :) How long have you ever fasted? I'm planing to not eat until friday, hopefully. I'm not sure what excuse I use for my SO yet... any ideas?

Really sorry if I bored anyone with my wall of text! Just wanted to say hi there~

---

[Rant/Rave] Horrified, but also Optimistic
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 111 | 18.5 | -9.7 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 02:02:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rhgf2/horrified_but_also_optimistic/
---
I.. have been binge-restricting /heavily/ over the past week. I've started to take Adderall, meaning I have no appetite one day, and the next I will feel this.. tsunami of hunger I never have experienced quite this intense. I have heard that the appetite suppressing urges of Adderall will fade, something I'm looking forward to, since I think I can restrict successfully without drugs, and craving food so intensely winds up making me binge, which ends with me hating myself.

The days I've been 'binging', I've been eating Costco muffins. The nutritional information wasn't something I saw on the package, and I just assumed they were 300 calories (I'd count them as 400 to be safe).

Just now, I realized I ought to really Google it.... Ladies and Gentlemen, THE MUFFINS ARE 690 CALORIES.

LIKE, 700 CALORIES.

The worst part is, I was just slightly under maintenance when I factored in the muffins being 400 into my binge. :( At least I am now informed. Ugh, has anyone else made any similar mistakes?

I think part of it is willful ignorance. Like, if I don't know the calories in something, it doesn't count? #bingelogic?

---

[Help] Could this help?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Jul 6 01:56:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rhftg/could_this_help/
---
I read somewhere that nicotine improves metabolism.. Would it help to chew nicotine chewing gum to speed it up?

---

[Rant/Rave] Reflections on my ED-- post mental breakdown
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jul 6 01:30:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rhd5b/reflections_on_my_ed_post_mental_breakdown/
---
Eating disorders are torture.






You know you're fucked when you can't remember the dates or months that significant events occurred on, but you remember what weight you were. You know you're fucked when you can't sleep anymore out of hunger. You know you're fucked when you can't stop exercising even if it feels like your body is crying for food. You know you're fucked when every time you try to get better and you hear someone give sound advice about recovery, you immediately think you are too fat to recover. You know you're fucked when every action can trigger you. You know you're lost when it's already too late for you.






I genuinely feel like I am too fat to exist. I don't want to live a life where I take up so much space and move with resistance. I want to be air. I want to everywhere. I want to walk with the wind and fall with leaves and feathers. I just want everything that's not me. I will not stand for weight anymore. I. Refuse. To. Live. Like. This. I refuse to live like this unaccomplished piece of shit. I cannot live a fat existence any longer.







Today, I had a mental breakdown in the middle of Winn Dixie and just embarassed myself. I walked to the bathroom nervously and and just started to cry and groan and absolutely shatter. I haven't shattered like this since my ex best friend who had an eating disorder manipulated me, hurt me, and left me. I just wanted someone to hit me. I wanted someone, after a long time, to just hand me a blade and just let me hurt myself so I wouldn't have to feel the mental agony that being a failure at recovery has put me through. 133 pounds will never be enough. This will never be enough for me, will it?







The fucked up thing is that I know I'm a lost cause. I have had depressive issues and my self esteem since I with 12. I don't think I can get better. ProED is the only place where I feel safe. I've isolated myself from my irl friends because of my ED. I'm just here. I'm just here living a god damn useless existence. ProED is my home. Sufferring is inside of me.






I give up on fighting my ED.





Your thoughts on your ED?

---

[Discussion] Anyone else excited about Pokemon Go?
/u/ProSin46 [5'1 | CW: 113 | 23 | -1 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 6 01:22:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rhccz/anyone_else_excited_about_pokemon_go/
---
I'm pretty pumped for it. It won't be a big deal to my family members when I want to spend the day running around outside now !!!!!

---

[Rant/Rave] I had the weirdest experience in a dressing room today.
/u/alonelyturd [5'0 | 97.4 lbs ]
Created: Tue Jul 5 22:39:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rgtip/i_had_the_weirdest_experience_in_a_dressing_room/
---
This is going to be a very unedited post.

But today, on a whim, I went shopping. Just at TJ Maxx. I hate shopping. I almost never buy anything. I often cry in my car about how not okay I am with my body.

So today I went into the dressing room with five things, fully expecting none of them to fit, and for them to accent everything I hate about myself, and for me to leave feeling like shit. But I really needed more work-appropriate pants, and I kinda had this abstract idea of having a cute blouse to wear out at evenings because all my clothes are really frumpy and modest.

And this dressing room had the weirdest, most unflattering lighting? And I was SO into it. My skin looked ten times more transparent than it usually does, and I could see all of the veins in my chest and arms and especially armpit area. And all of my white acne scars riddling my chest and back, which usually don't stand out much on my pale skin, were SO visible. My stretch marks, too. And it was so COOL looking. I felt so... not beautiful, but worth looking at? I loved my body, the same way I love millipedes and sphynx cats and other things I'm supposed to find weird and repulsive.

I could see so clearly how bowlegged I am. My knees turn so far inward, and my calves are so flipping curvy. And it was cool? And it makes sense that I can't run without crippling knee pain, because my knees are clearly not structurally sound. And I could see that my thighs aren't fat, but distributed weird because my legs are weirdly shaped.

All of the things that I normally hate about myself were so secondary to these other super-cool flaws I had never fixated on before. My tummy was a little bit poochy but no big deal, it looked flat in my shirt. My boobs did not look huge and disgusting and saggy. They looked like average sized, slightly perky boobs with a really big bump I could squeeze pus out of under one nipple and a couple dark hairs around the areola, too. My legs looked skinny enough, but exactly how not-straight my calves were was way more interesting than any jiggly bits. My acne and all the clogged pores in my face were nothing compared to the suddenly visible moonscape that was my chest.

And of the four things I tried on, two fit. That NEVER happens to me. I found the perfect pair of jeans, that was maybe a tad tight at the waist but high enough they didn't muffin top. They weren't even long on me. And I found a cute blouse that also wasn't too long (never happens), that looked fine without a bra (never happens!) and that totally showed off my excitingly veiny and scarred and freckled chest/shoulders/armpits. It wasn't some miraculous shirt, it's a shitty polyester thing that'll break down afte three washes. But I tried it on and it just.... wasn't a big deal.

I don't know if I can do justice to how weird the whole experience was for me, or if I made it sound melodramatic instead. I just couldn't shake that I had one tiny glimpse of what liking your own body actually feels like, and I don't want to put on clothes tomorrow and look in a mirror and be back to my regular fixation and self loathing.

All of the things I normally hate about myself seemed so secondary and minor to the flaws that seemed so obvious and glaring in that shitty lighting, but the new flaws seemed so... not worth obsessing over, the way my fat normally is. It made me so aware of how little control I have over my body image, because terrible dressing room lighting usually gives me five more things to hate about myself on top of the usually gross fat parts.

---

[Discussion] Anyone really bad about "I'll start again tomorrow"?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | -50 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 22:12:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rgq3h/anyone_really_bad_about_ill_start_again_tomorrow/
---
And you just keep bingeing and it makes you feel worse but 'I'll start tomorrow' or 'Monday. I'll be good come Monday.' ugh if I could start now I'd feel so much better.

---

Been holding an unhealthy "grudge" of sorts against my [21f] boyfriend [22m] of 8 months, how to fix it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 5 21:07:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rghik/been_holding_an_unhealthy_grudge_of_sorts_against/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] Helpful podcast to pick you up on bad days
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 20:36:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rgd54/helpful_podcast_to_pick_you_up_on_bad_days/
---
I've been listening to [this podcast](http://www.juliedillonrd.com/blog/) for a few weeks now and I find it really relaxing and uplifting on days where I didn't count calories perfectly or binged a little and feel like a failure. You can search it on iTunes, it's called the Love, Food podcast.


The premise of it is people write letters to food about their troubled relationship with it, a dietitian gives her feedback, and then food "writes back" (why it's called Love, Food). It's definitely very body positive and I'm not ready to take all of her advice yet. But it's just nice to hear someone be so supportive and accepting. Tbh it's kind of like what I wanted my mom to say to me during dark times but she never did because she struggled with anorexia herself.


Anyway, listen to the episodes whose titles appeal most to you and I hope it makes you feel a little less alone and more accepted too!

EDIT: Just realized it sounds like my mom is dead. She is not, she's alive and mostly recovered after finding God (eye roll).

---

[Goal] Post carb-binge hangovers
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 20:31:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rgcja/post_carbbinge_hangovers/
---
Today, all day, my reality was:

* lethargic
* slow
* bloated
* depressed
* anxious
* hopeless
* fat
* sick
* sluggish
* ugly
* headache
* acid reflux
* heartburn
* achey
* sore
* heavy
* wide
* irritable
* on edge
* EXHAUSTED
* dragging my limbs through cement
* disgusted/disgusting
* post-carb starving
* worthless
* crazy

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever is any carby-food worth an entire day of the above. Why, why, why.

Veggies, water, water, water, water, fruit, veggies, veggies, veggies, protein, water is my reality from today (Tuesday) until Monday. Monday I will re-evaluate my life. Until Monday I will fix this. If I say "from now until forever" with an aimless goal, my feeble fucking little mind will cave and binge.

Fuck me. I will be 115 pounds. I will.

---

[Rant/Rave] Will I ever feel worthy of love? Do you guys?
/u/Phiohtrue [5'4.5 | 129.0 | 22.14 |- 18.2 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 20:19:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rgata/will_i_ever_feel_worthy_of_love_do_you_guys/
---
I've been dating this guy for less than two months, and I'd hate to sound mushy but I could see myself with him forever. We're in sync on so many fundamental levels.

Recently he'd asked me if I had any "craziness", and I accidentally hinted at ALL this ED shit (which half the time I feel like I don't even do right, especially when I binge). But I kind of put it as "oh sometimes I just don't want to eat and get unhappy when things disturb that..." left out the part that sometimes when I do eat (especially when drunk) I will eat until I hate myself and then double that amount since the damage is already done, so fuck it and cry the next morning, and that whenever we go out I try to preview the menu to scour the lowest calorie option, and all I see are calorie counts, because the 80 kcal yogurt is okay, but the 100 kcal one is poison, and I hate making dinner plans because that's when I NEED to go running... I digress. His reaction was, "oh, if that's the worst of it then it's really not that bad!" which I'm glad he's not worried and not scrutinizing, but then a tiny (heh) part of me wanted to shout, "hey I *think* I have a legitimate problem!!! Please recognize that..."

Perhaps this is the best option, because then he knows not to push food onto me. He keeps saying I'm perfect and he said the three little words, "I love you," for the first time, but I feel so unworthy. I feel like I have SO much to work on, especially the tangible many many many pounds of the physical manifestation of my FAILURES. fucking adipose tissue that I can FEEL rippling when we have sex, not to mention the rest of my flaws. I almost don't believe that he loves me. How could he when I don't love myself? How could he love someone so obviously disgusting?

On the plus side, he's now part of my motivation. I want to prove that I can match him, that I am worthy of him, even if it's an impossible task.

---

[Rant/Rave] So proud of myself
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 5 19:20:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rg21a/so_proud_of_myself/
---
Fasted the whole day (literally ingested 50 calories, and that was just broth for lunch and a snack, and a handful of cherry tomatoes). And I'm waiting for my bf to get out of work, but he asked me to pick up his dinner from this pizza place near his work. I was sooooo tempted to get myself a slice, but I stayed strong and just got a salad with dressing on the side some doesn't get suspicious of me skipping dinner.

---

[Other] Thank you guys for giving me the strength to not binge!
/u/acronym_acronym [5' 11" | 130 lbs | 18.1 | -15 lbs | Male]
Created: Tue Jul 5 19:11:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rg0gi/thank_you_guys_for_giving_me_the_strength_to_not/
---
I've had a problem with binging the last two weeks and I made myself promise to fast for ATLEAST 24 hours- I did it without difficulty! I really just wanted to say thank you for being able to relate and help, best of luck to you all!

---

[Tip] My way of keeping myself on track :)
/u/ProSin46 [5'1 | CW: 113 | 23 | -1 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 18:33:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rfu5n/my_way_of_keeping_myself_on_track/
---
http://imgur.com/wctYOW0

---

How much can I lose in 30 days?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 5 18:07:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rfq2t/how_much_can_i_lose_in_30_days/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] EC stackers?
/u/witchy2628
Created: Tue Jul 5 18:03:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rfpbr/ec_stackers/
---
I've been restricting to 700 easily using adderral but I've seen some people here talking about ec stacking? What is that? I've never heard of it.

---

[Thinspo] That Gap 😍
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 17:31:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rfk14/that_gap/
---
http://imgur.com/j5PYCXl

---

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm not skinny enough for sex work
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 113.6lb | 18.06 | -50.4lb | NB]
Created: Tue Jul 5 17:24:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rfiz1/i_feel_like_im_not_skinny_enough_for_sex_work/
---
I know it's dumb, but lately even though I've been really putting myself out there I haven't gotten any new clients or sold nudes. No potential sugar daddies. No money made at all.

I was successful at a higher weight, because my boobs were bigger. but now proportion wise I LOOK fatter. I have a bit of a tummy and smaller boobs. my boob to gut ratio is not where it should be.

and now I'm fucked because I need around $150 to pay rent and only 20 days to figure it out and that's if I don't spend any of my money on anything. especially food, fuck, I bought some veggies yesterday and I'm pissed at myself for the waste.

where are all of the creepy pervs in my area??? why aren't they paying me for pictures of my symmetrical fat sacks I am so stressed pls kill me

---

[Goal] yesssss!!
/u/Sighgal
Created: Tue Jul 5 17:05:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rffye/yesssss/
---
Doing an EC stack and I'm not even hungry at all. Where has this been my whole life?!

---

[Tip] Walden Farms Tip
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Tue Jul 5 17:03:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rffnx/walden_farms_tip/
---
For anyone who uses walden farms products and wants to be a bit more exact, the letter from the company cited in this website states an entire bottle of product contains about 35 calories.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=111304271

I'm excited cause now I can have a more accurate calorie count for the day. Yay!

---

[Intro] Intro & short rant
/u/cow_in_training [5'10" | CW: 228.2 GW: 120 | 32 | -7.4 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 17:02:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rffgk/intro_short_rant/
---
I already did an intro on another account, but it was too similar to a name I go by and I'd rather no one know this alt. So here it is: I gained a shit ton of weight in college, trying to lose. First week is going reaaaaally well (lost 3.8 lbs) buuut I'm sure my stomach has shrunken because I can't really eat much without feeling insanely full. Today I ate 1/2 of a sandwich at 11 am and two cookies at ~3 pm (my friend wanted to bake and I didn't want to seem weird by eating none or only one) and now it's dinner time and I know my parents are expecting me to eat. Ugh. They are so into "not obsessing over food" that they obsess over food. They're all overweight or obese so w/e. IDEK What I'm saying. Have a nice day everyone.

---

[Rant/Rave] I bought ephedrine today
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 17:02:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rffcd/i_bought_ephedrine_today/
---
I'm really excited to start the EC stack :D It was kinda expensive ngl ($25 for 50 tablets of 8mg ephedrine and 110 tablets of 200mg caffeine) but most things are in Canada. I'm taking 24mg ephedrine with 200mg caffeine three times a day, so it should last me 5 days before I have to go buy more ephedrine.

I'm so hyyyypeee!!!! What are your guys' experiences with the EC stack?

---

[Other] I did it! My second fast is a huge success so far!
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 5 16:37:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rfbfd/i_did_it_my_second_fast_is_a_huge_success_so_far/
---
I've been fasting again today- from midnight to midnight this time, and I haven't binged at all. I don't want to binge, I'm not tempted by food this time at all. The things that I did differently this time was kept my 26-oz mug of tea with me at all times. I put a little benefiber in it or some superfood powder to help me feel fuller longer. At one point I did want an ice cream bar and I was saying to myself, "It's only 100 calories. It won't matter." but I stopped myself by pretending to myself that I had stomach issues (easy to do since I was already nauseated anyway, as I tend to be when I fast) and couldn't eat solid food. So I had my tea... 52 ounces of tea! And I'm working on my third cup! It's a bit after 5:30 PM and I've only got til midnight to go. I'll update in the comments as to whether and how I break my fast at midnight.

I'm sure I'm undoing yesterday's 1800-calorie binge! Thank you lot for always being so supportive and having such excellent advice!

---

[Rant/Rave] Hospital and "recovery".
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 5 15:44:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rf2py/hospital_and_recovery/
---
[deleted]

---

[Thinspo] Some Thinspo for After This Binge Weekend
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 15:31:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rf0oq/some_thinspo_for_after_this_binge_weekend/
---
http://imgur.com/a/W4r3b

---

[Discussion] Wanna do some recepie shares? I'm going grocery shopping and getting a bit tired of the same old thing.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Tue Jul 5 15:16:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rexzn/wanna_do_some_recepie_shares_im_going_grocery/
---
I think my favorite recepie ( as of right now) is egg white French toast.

X2 peices of weight watchers bread (50 ea)

1/4 cup egg whites (usually don't need nearly this much (34))

Splash of cashew milk (5)

Pinch of Cinnamon, and I use Walden's farm pancake syrup & strawberry syrup ! (0)

---

[Goal] Got over my fear and bought bronkaid!
/u/cuts-and-cats [5'2 | 115 GW: 100 | 21 | -25 lbs |F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 14:46:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4resza/got_over_my_fear_and_bought_bronkaid/
---
I've been super nervous about buying bronkaid because I didn't know if they'd ask why I needed it or not, but I just went in and said "hi I need to pick up some bronkaid please" and they gave it to me! I know this is super minor and dumb but I was so anxious about it and now I can't wait to start my ec stacking!

---

[Rant/Rave] Nutrition labels not matching up?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Tue Jul 5 14:41:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4res01/nutrition_labels_not_matching_up/
---
has anyone ever experienced this?

So i have two different brads of frozen broccoli, flourettes are pretty damn equal in size. Yet one package is 35 cals per 1 cup, the other 35cals per 1 and 1/2 cup ... what???

Also... Canadian fiber-one is 90 cals per 1/2 cup 60% fiber, where as the american versions / their website says 60 cals 1/2 cup 50% fiber. WHY. makes me so upset. I waste so many calories getting 100% fiber each day,

ALSO... FURTHERMORE... my poppy seeds say 0 cals per 1 tbsp... google says 15 . i realize they can put 0 if its under 5 but... CMON.

makes me not want to eat these items.

---

[Other] Didn't Binge - thank you ProED
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 13:42:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4reho7/didnt_binge_thank_you_proed/
---
You know those days where you are just hungry no matter what? Walking round the supermarket at lunch I just felt like buying and eating everything in sight. But I settled for a <300 cal sushi instead.

For dinner I had veggie burger (390) and I'm just sat in front of the telly picturing the pizza in the freezer and the chocolates I brought for my friend and I felt right on the edge.

Normally I try to look at thinspo to remind myself what I'm aiming for. Today as well as doing that I also re-read my older posts where I hate myself for eating and the posts you lovely people have written post-binge. It really drove home how much misery I'm letting myself in for if I binge. How many days I would set myself back. How I'll probably fight with my SO because I hate myself.

So I stopped thinking about the food in the fridge. I mentally closed a door on that option for the evening. And I think the danger has passed (for today)

I can't tell you how much I value this sub. You are all such lovely people and it means the world to me to know other people understand what I'm thinking and feeling. 💖💖

---

[Rant/Rave] Update on the cheating boyfriend, and happy news!
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 5 12:49:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4re85f/update_on_the_cheating_boyfriend_and_happy_news/
---
So on Friday I posted about how I found out my bf has cheated on me multiple times over the course of our six year relationship, including during the almost two years we've lived together. We talked extensively Friday night when he got home from work, and with lots of tears on both sides, decided to attempt couples counseling and see if there is realistically any chance that we can deal with and move on from this. I told him there were no guarantees that I could stay with him, but that I'm not willing to give up the years of love, time, and my life that I've given to this relationship without at least trying to see if it can be saved. I'll give an update on that later, after we've had time to see if anything can be done.

Onto the happy news: Since I was PISSED and upset this weekend, I drank about five bottles of wine on Friday and Saturday. When I got on the scale Saturday morning, I was surprised that I had only gained a pound. When I got on the scale this morning, I found out that I had **LOST 4 POUNDS**!!!!! I also started my first EC Stack (ever)/fast (in a while) this morning, so I'm super excited. Had some broth a bit ago and had a diet coke this morning, but otherwise, nothing. So excited, even though I'm having a touch of shakiness. (Any recommendations on what to do about that/if that's normal?)

TL;DR: Trying to work things out with my cheater bf, lost 4 pounds over the weekend, started my first EC Stack ever and first fast in a while today!

---

[Other] When will my reflection show who I am inside?
/u/Hello_Mellow_Yellow [5'3"|100|18.2|F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 12:06:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4re0i7/when_will_my_reflection_show_who_i_am_inside/
---
I'm sure most of us, and probably most people, can relate to this song.

Movie version: https://youtu.be/1_BtlAw4trg

Christina Aguilera version: https://youtu.be/wXHWyuNDu2w

Christina looks and sounds amaaazing in this video, but I find the version from the movie to be more powerful/emotional.

---

[Rant/Rave] I hate Zara. I fucking hate it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 5 11:04:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rdpaa/i_hate_zara_i_fucking_hate_it/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] Mini binge?
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Tue Jul 5 10:55:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rdnok/mini_binge/
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So after an entirely ED unrelated melt down that included at least an hour of crying on the phone to my mom, I gave in last night and got some fast food. Wendy's was still open at midnight so I had a homestyle chicken sandwich (500), a large fries (530), and a small frosty (350) for a total of 1380 calories.

That is over 1000 more than I planned to eat and I felt sick while finishing the sandwich. But its far better than it could have been. Rather than wallowing in shame, I am going to try and take pride in the fact that it was still about 600 calories under maintenance for me, and while it may delay my loss a little, I definitely won't gain from this slip up.

Plus, I'm going to Ikea today so tons of walking, and in the middle of deep cleaning my house. And while I have no idea how many calories vacuuming and mopping and scrubbing and laundry use, I know its worth something and hopefully will help me burn those extra calories from yesterday!

Also, thanks to you guys for always being supportive. You have made such a difference in my life, and I don't know what I'd do without you.

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[Rant/Rave] Rant/story about yesterday because I have no one to really talk to about this stuff.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 5 10:43:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rdlim/rantstory_about_yesterday_because_i_have_no_one/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Gained like 10 lbs on study abroad, help!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jul 5 10:31:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rdjcx/gained_like_10_lbs_on_study_abroad_help/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 5 10:02:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rde7k/daily_food_diary_july_05_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Help] Ever worry about ODing?
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 10:00:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rdduz/ever_worry_about_oding/
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Hey everyone. I don't post here much but I wanted to just rant a bit about the EC stack thing. I go through phases of using mine, and this last week I was doing great with restrictions, just having a coffee, either a fruit or vegetable and then way too much alcohol in the evening (my downfall currently). So I've started doing my EC stack every few days again and the other day my heart started beating so fast and I couldn't stop shaking. It was the first time I realized "Hey, no one knows I'm taking these and there might be a real chance of my heart stopping". And for some reason this didn't scare me. Sometimes I see my ED as an endgame so I can slowly die and no one will know. I ruined my progress this weekend with drinking and cheese and crackers, but I hope to get back on track soon. Sorry this is all over the place, I'm in my office and shaking and not wanting to deal with life.

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[Other] Boys and Ana (a bit TIM)
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 09:47:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rdbhj/boys_and_ana_a_bit_tim/
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Last night I spent some time talking to this boy. I was assaulted last school quarter which led to my ED, and I told him about it. I told him that I felt sick and alone but I told him that my ED helps feel like I can control something in my life, that if I thin myself out, that I can have something for myself to be actually proud of. At this point I don't care about being pretty, I just want someone to be proud of me for not my physical self, but my intellect and my hobbies and my interests.

It just made me sad that he kept telling me to eat something."You need calories and fat right now" he said. He tried giving me a hot dog, all I see was calories, the bun was probably around 110 and the hot dog at least 80. I told him I would just throw it up because my stomach is going to reject it, which has happened a couple of times when I binge. He told me how unhealthy my lifestyle is, with eating as little as possible and then expending my energy as much as I can. My organs are going to die he said, and that whatever my assaulter did was something that I need to grow from. All successes are made out of growing out of failure.

I don't understand how restricting and excessive exercise are looked at two steps back. The last long term I had was with this guy who ate 24/7 and only used me for sex. He only wanted to hang out with me if it was for food, if we were going to try the new ramen place or whatever and have sex at his place immediately. And my assaulter brought me to a place to eat, and I kept saying no, I told him that I was not hungry. He then said, "no, you haven't eaten all day, you're going to hurt yourself". I stopped eating even before he took me out because his behavior prior to this incident had gone too far, and he did not know that his behavior is the reason why I had stopped eating.

It just makes me sad, like fuck. Right now I'm taking my Primatene with a 16oz Americano at this cute little coffee shop, I just want to cry. I cried last night about how much guys keep telling me that I need to eat, but turn around and say "but she doesn't have a flat stomach" or "her thighs too big" or whatever. Like fuck, this is my body.

And it's not even about thinning out for a boy, it's thinning out for myself. I don't care what a boy thinks about me, and if I were to be with anyone, he would need to accept my ED. I've always had a body good for sex but if I thin out they may just forget about sex. I don't want to look sexy, I just want to look strong and independent and for me, that's if I'm thin.

I have still so much ahead of me, but this just a little bump on the road. Now I realize boys and food do not mix well for me and that's that.

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[Rant/Rave] My body is fucking disgusting.
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Tue Jul 5 09:01:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rd30u/my_body_is_fucking_disgusting/
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I'm not even talking about the fat. I mean, yes, the fat is horrible. But I'm disgusted by the hair on my legs, sweat on my nose, the zit forming on my chin. I had a surprise period and nearly threw up with revulsion. My tendons and muscles freak me out. Everything reminds me that I'm a sweating breathing krebs-cycling sack of meat and I'm just...ugh. I'm not suicidal, just grossed out. Other people's bodies are fine, I just hate mine. Lol, is there such a thing as airspo? Nonespo?

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[Rant/Rave] "You're so skinny!"
/u/pixelstar [5'1.5 | CW: 95 - GW: 93 | 18.37 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 09:01:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rd30g/youre_so_skinny/
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Coming from a fat person, I kinda feel like it doesn't count. And it just makes me fucking uncomfortable.

It doesn't help that it was a dude friend who was rubbing my arms when he said it. Creepy. (Was saying goodbye after leaving a house party.)

He followed this with "You need to eat!" I said "I do eat." "Well, you need to drink more!" It's well known among my friends that I love craft beer. So I just laughed and said that was a recipe for disaster.

Oh and he said this in front of EVERYONE at the party. I wanted crawl into a hole.

Considering wearing a hoodie next time I know he's around, despite the 90F weather....

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[Rant/Rave] I didn't restrict this weekend and gained 3.7 lbs, I feel like a failure
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 08:35:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rcylq/i_didnt_restrict_this_weekend_and_gained_37_lbs_i/
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Started off Friday night where we were supposed to be going out to the Beer Garden with friends but on our walk over it started pouring, so they decided we would go into the diner instead. I got a grilled cheese with tomato and french fries. I felt guilty as soon as I finished the grilled cheese. I told myself I wouldn't go ham this weekend, that I would keep myself in check, but in reality I knew it was going to happen. As soon as I got to my parents house on Saturday and people started coming in I had a cheese sandwich with 1 slice Italian white bread and 5 pieces of deli American cheese. I stood there and actually said out loud I shouldn't be eating this but I couldn't stop myself. From there I just kept mindlessly eating all day. Which is what my entire family was doing, but I knew I was doing it and instead of telling myself to stop I just let myself keep going. I snacked on spanakopita and chips and pasta salad and eggplant parm. But of course that's not all, I had to go back for dessert, peanut butter ice cream with fruit salad and plenty of cookies along with an oreo brownie. I felt so stuffed but of course just wanted more, and I'm sure there are things not on that list that I'm forgetting. The next morning I thought I was going to do ok, we had breakfast and I made everyone pancakes and didn't even touch them. I had half an everything bagel with a little butter and about 5 pieces of watermelon. But then I got home and we went out to another BBQ where I thought there wouldn't be any food for a vegetarian and I'd be safe from temptation. Wrong again. I had oriental pasta salad, and unbelievably greasy veggie couscous, multiple servings of each. I also was supposed to be sipping on just seltzer all night but got frisky and added some pomegranate juice to it, and not the fake low cal stuff either it was the real deal. Yesterday I woke up and thought to myself alright, I can do this. Except then we actually went to the Beer Garden and when my bf asked if I wanted a veggie burger I said yes because everyone else was eating. He then brought me back a burger and a side of fries. Pizza is my biggest weakness, french fries are my second. I ate almost the entire thing before I just put it on the other side of him and said get this away from me. Then we went out to dinner and I split an order of avocado fries, had a small veggie taco, one potato flauta, and a churro with nutella dipping sauce. I felt so ridiculously stuffed and bloated. I got on the scale this morning and almost cried when I saw 149.2, Friday morning I was 145.5. I know a lot of it is water weight but combine the weight gain with the fact that my bf and I had a fight when we got home last night and he chose to sleep on the couch instead of come to bed and I just feel worthless. I've decided that when event weekends come up I'm going to start taking the EC stack anyway even though I wasn't going to do weekends. This weekend I'll be going on a lake weekend with some friends and even though most of what they make is meat, I'm thinking it's better to be safe than sorry and feel this way again. I'm back on track this week and won't be cheating at all. I'm going for under 300 calories for the day, and am pretty confident I'll be able to get away with eating nothing for dinner or at least just some cucumber or something really low cal without my bf noticing because he'll be playing his games all night guaranteed.

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[Rant/Rave] ALMOST made it through the weekend but then upset and crying and wine and pizza :(
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 117 | 18.26 | -53 | F | GW 115 | UGW 108?]
Created: Tue Jul 5 08:31:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rcxys/almost_made_it_through_the_weekend_but_then_upset/
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Counting Monday as weekend because had the day off.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I ate at a deficit or maintenance. Sunday I even didn't drink any alcohol!

Monday, I wasn't supposed to drink alcohol but decided I wanted just a couple glasses. July 4th celebrations didn't have anything super tempting so I ate a reasonable amount and wasn't over drinking.

Then my SIL, who just got pregnant, says she wants to name her baby the #1 name that I've had in mind for my baby for over a decade.

I'm so upset. I don't let her know that though. But I really am. TBH I'm kinda judgy about her and her husband too. Neither graduated high school, they do drugs, she doesn't work, they don't make enough money to live on their own so they live with her mom, so they really shouldn't have any kid right now...but they already have one and they're having another and now my name is going to be the name of a stupid kid in that situation. I know this makes me bitchy but oh well. I won't be able to look at that kid and not think about how that was supposed to be our name.

Fiance guessed right away what name because I talk about this name ALL the time and how it's perfect and why I love it. Fiance joked saying to just name our kid that name still, and they can have the fat one and we can have the skinny one. But it's just sullied now :(

So I drank more. 1.5 bottles of wine total more. And once we got home and I cried, I stress ordered pizza at 11pm. Why didn't I just go to bed? At least it wasn't a whole pizza though? Split it with my fiance...

sigh...

I was 122.5 yesterday morning, new low weight, and was hoping to be around the same but I'm back to 124.8. At least I'm under 125 though. For a month or longer I've been jumping up to 129 after the weekend, working all week to get back under 125. So it's still better than it's been.

I think I don't want to eat until Saturday. Have a big party that day and it's when I pick up the wedding dress (which is a whole other stressor). But I don't know if I can make it. I'm so weak these days.

I think I might just fast today, and then stay under 500 for the next 3 days.

Also just did a calorie calculator thing. Apparently I have to eat at 662 calories a day to lose 9 lbs in a month, or 1144 to lose 9 lbs in 2 months.

I remember back when I could eat 1200 and lose 8 lbs safely in a month. Now I have to eat LESS than that and wait twice as long. Sigh (edit: this is why I went nuts in high school around this weight). Maybe I should start exercising...

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[Other] Time for my favorite game-- DYSMORPHIA!!!! YAY!! (nsfw)
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 08:11:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rcurg/time_for_my_favorite_game_dysmorphia_yay_nsfw/
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http://imgur.com/qyETlKn

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[Rant/Rave] Anti-depressants, loss of appetite, mixed feelings
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | how can I have fat wrists?! | -29lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 07:50:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rcret/antidepressants_loss_of_appetite_mixed_feelings/
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I am back on an anti-depressant and a mood stabilizer which both have an uncommon side effect or nausea and loss of appetite, as well as thirst. So I'm drinking more water, black coffee, and teas while not being hungry often and when I am, I am fairly nauseous and don't feel like eating. I'm happy that it is like entering a cheat code for eating disorders, which is nice in the early stages of anorexia. That said, it is a bit concerning considering I had a few good weeks where I was just properly dieting and exercising instead of crazy mode. I was winning against the negative thoughts, sorta. But now I'm gonna have to try to over come the side effects and I'm a bit worried about losing control to ED again. Still, I love these side effects. I'm just conflicted and need to vent.

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[Rant/Rave] Need a little support on my birthday.
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Tue Jul 5 06:24:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rceux/need_a_little_support_on_my_birthday/
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Hey, I'm 19 today. I've been getting messages from old friends, mostly from high school, and they've been tagging me in old pictures. I look like a cow. I hate pictures, because I know I'm so fat and no matter how much I try to suck everything in, you can see the fat hanging from my arms and face and legs.

This is supposed to be a happy day for me, but all I can see are those pictures of me looking like a fat pig next to all of my beautiful, skinny friends. I am so sad and don't even have the motivation to keep fasting. What is it even all for, I don't seem to be making any progress and it's killing me.

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jul 5 06:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rcc4y/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_05_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Other] 7 pounds gone in 10 days!
/u/bingingpig
Created: Tue Jul 5 06:01:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rcc1s/7_pounds_gone_in_10_days/
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So proud of myself! Just had to share it with you guys! :) have mainly been restricting and having my main meal for my lunchbreak.

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Thank you for the printables /u/babygloom!
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 05:26:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rc7na/thank_you_for_the_printables_ubabygloom/
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http://imgur.com/av5agf2

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[Help] Help (TMI Warning)
/u/TopCat1392 [5'3.5" | 111.4 | 19.88 | -26.6 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 05:14:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rc6bm/help_tmi_warning/
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So my weight had been declining pretty constantly. Slower than I'd like but constantly


6/29 118.2 500cal

6/30 117.7 460cal

7/01 116.8 588ca
l
7/02 116.2 725cal (A little higher on the weekened)

7/03 117.6 843cal (slight gain. Tried not to panic)

7/04 118.1


Absolutely paniced yesterday. Decided I hasn't pooped and was holding ~2# of matter and drank 4 cups of senna tea. Worst decision ever, incredibly painful 0/10. On top of that, hours of liquid poos and the scale didn't move. So I had aboit 1000cal Binge and ended the day at 1609cal.


Of course this morning I'm all the way at 118.4
Ugh


Now I'm wondering if I should fast until dinner or have my 184cal lunch? Stressed about the weight but don't want to do any further harm to my digestive system thoughts?

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[Rant/Rave] I choose running
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 5 03:26:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rbvmh/i_choose_running/
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EDIT: Just come back from my run and it was AMAZING! Everything that could go wrong, went wrong and I STILL got my second best time yet (7k in less than 33 minutes). Torrential downpour, blister on my toe that opened earlier that day (now I have a bloody sock lol), knees hurting while walking downstairs. Didn't matter. Nothing in the 'verse can stop me!

Fasting may make me feel powerful, but running makes me feel *alive.*

---

I was washing my face yesterday and realized how much I miss running, and more importantly, how much I miss running being easy. So I made a healthy, filling breakfast for the morning now I'm sitting in my office full so I have to run today or I ate for nothing.

But this is the right choice right? Choosing to eat and run instead of fasting? Objectively it sounds like the right choice, so why do I feel like such a failure, like I'm letting myself down...

But hey, maybe if I choose healthy for long enough, these thoughts will go away and I'll be normal. That or I'll eat myself back up to 70 kg. I feel like I'm gambling with my life at this point.

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[Intro] I'm giving up on being healthy
/u/turntcrunkforwhat [5'4 | 120 lbs | 21 | nb femme]
Created: Tue Jul 5 00:35:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rbe4f/im_giving_up_on_being_healthy/
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(I just found this community and I thought I'd make an intro post)

I have a serious addiction to self harm. Now that I'm no longer cutting my problems with food are getting worse. I've always been a bit too preoccupied with my weight, but the last few months the urge to starve has been overwhelming. I've been trying to eat as much as I can but it's just impossible some days. I've lost 15 pounds since March.

I have so many other mental health issues and I show no signs of improving. At least losing weight is something I can make progress in. So I've decided to stop fighting this. I'll just accept having an eating disorder and see what happens.

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[Discussion] is there any actual negative health effect to c&s
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Tue Jul 5 00:06:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rbapz/is_there_any_actual_negative_health_effect_to_cs/
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besides it being gross? and obvs u get a few of the cals...

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[Intro] It's time for me to come out of the shadows
/u/prolifictickers [5' 2" | 135.8 lbs | 25.73 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 23:56:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rb9pt/its_time_for_me_to_come_out_of_the_shadows/
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After lurking here for a few months, I finally decided to say hello. This is a new account because I don't want my activity here linked with my other account.

I've been binge eating ever since childhood, and I hate it. I was able to restrict my intake with ease when I was in high school, but I would restrict because I wanted to avoid eating in front of people, so I would only be able to actually restrict successfully while I was actually at school. Now that I am not in school anymore, don't have a job, and don't have to eat in public 99% of the time, I have such a difficult time restricting, but I stuff my face until I feel physically sick regardless of whether or not I restrict successfully anyway. If I don't binge, I either overeat or under-eat with no happy medium. Resisting the urge to binge is very hard for me to do, but it is great when I do manage to do that.

I really like this community and I hope I didn't say anything that was out of place here. I hope you guys are doing well. I just ate a bunch of chips, mozzarella cheese sticks, and tootsie rolls approximately an hour ago. Thankfully I don't feel physically sick because I got tired of chewing thanks to the tootsie rolls, but I am bloated and uncomfortably full. I feel guilty, disappointed, and upset, but tomorrow's another day.

\* edit: accidentally a word

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[Rant/Rave] Sigh
/u/Sighgal
Created: Mon Jul 4 23:49:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rb8um/sigh/
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I was doing so well all day, and then night hit and my husband wanted food. How do you deal with night cravings? I feel like a failure..

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[Rant/Rave] Being a vegetarian on July 4th is AMAZING
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 23:36:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rb78d/being_a_vegetarian_on_july_4th_is_amazing/
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We party-hopped tonight and there was nothing at either party that I could eat except the veggie platter. And both veggie platters came with low-fat dip.

So I indulged on two beers and still came in under 700 calories for the day while looking to everyone else like I never stopped eating, same as the rest of them.

Best. Holiday. Ever.

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[Help] This might be getting obsessive, but...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 22:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rb18j/this_might_be_getting_obsessive_but/
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Should I aim for 2 lbs less than my goal weight since our weights fluctuate throughout the day? I think it's up to +2 lbs or something... If I want to be 89 lbs, that's 89 at the most so should I technically aim for 87?

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[Help] I'm struggling with controlling my eating and I'm not sure what to do.
/u/tinylunacat [5'4 | fat | 19| Female]
Created: Mon Jul 4 22:41:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rb0qj/im_struggling_with_controlling_my_eating_and_im/
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My goal is to stick to coffee and water throughout the day from today until the 28th, the day before my tattoo, then keep on maintaining. But I suck at it. I have no self control. I love wine too much but it has so many calories. I don't know how to make a meal plan to stick to to lose weight in this next month. I walk 5k a day and eat ok so I guess I'm maintaining but I need to lose. Can anyone give me some pointers? Sorry if this is a basic post with obvious answers but I'm feeling very hopeless and lost now.

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[Rant/Rave] Well fuck.
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Jul 4 22:33:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4razpz/well_fuck/
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I was with my family ALL DAY today and they watched me eat, all day, encouraging me to eat more and more and more...

I'm fasting tomorrow. And hell, maybe the next day too. I can't remember the last time I ate this much. The whole day, literally the whole day, was a binge.


Breakfast

* Yasso bar- 100

* 5 peanuts- 30

* Caramel chocolate shortbread (1 piece) 357

Lunch- Sandwich

* 4 inches of white bread- 100

* Slice of roast beef- 70

* Deli American cheese- 79

* Lettuce- 2

* Tomato- 8

* Half of a single-serving bag of cheetos- 150

Dinner and dessert

* 7 plain crackers 80

* 3 tablespoons of onion dip 90

* About 10 mini nacho chips- 60

* a tablespoon of cheese dip- 22

* Half a hamburger with lettuce and tomato- 143

* Small slice of strawberry shortcake- about 200 (guessing)

* 9 mini Hershey chocolates- 378

Grand Total- 1839

JFC. Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

Good thing I fasted for 24 hours yesterday and the day before... (8 Pm Saturday to 8 Pm Sunday)

But I can't blame my parents, or the holiday. If I really wanted I could have flat-out refused. I could have politely said no, and when that didn't work I could have said NO FUCKING WAY. But I didn't. I timidly asked them if they were sure I wasn't too fat to eat... and then when they lied to me like they always do I stuffed my face.

Maybe if I fast tomorrow too I won't gain so much

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[Tip] Kill your cravings: competitive eating is disgusting!
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 21:36:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4rasg4/kill_your_cravings_competitive_eating_is/
---
https://youtu.be/HtXnxILtQEM

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[Rant/Rave] I've become so petty, but it's the most motivated I've felt in months.
/u/lotr4000 [5'2"| CW 139 |BMI 25|-76|F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 20:41:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ral3b/ive_become_so_petty_but_its_the_most_motivated/
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I just saw brand spankin' new full-body photographs of two of the thinnest members of my (adult) in-laws.
One was of my brother in-law and his wife, with their young daughter. ( Focusing on the wife. )
The other was of a sister in-law, and her older toddler.

They're both "normal" sized now - for the South. ( A good 15-20 pounds overweight each. )

My brain went into auto-judge mode and I immediately thought, "It's been long enough since they've had their children, what are they doing?! It doesn't take *that* long to lose the weight afterwards." ( Yeah, evil part of my brain - using extreme methods that most people would never employ! Cut them some slack! )

My inner-self now has them labeled as "Legs" and "Arms", because those are the parts of their bodies that signal to the outside world that they're eating a tad bit more than they should be. And to top it all off, they've been the "hot" ones in the family for years! Young and thin, always bikini ready!

And then: "Wait a second....... I'm on the cusp. I'm already almost in the green for my height.... I CAN BE THE THINNEST ONE OF MY IN-LAWS!!"

And then I felt this surge of motivation and happiness, like I could accomplish something that they are slowly letting slip away!
I can come from behind like in a marathon and simply - overtake them!
I can actually do this!!

Ten pounds from now, I'll *look* thinner than both. ( Even though they're taller, I carry my weight well, luckily - nice even distribution. )

Twenty pounds from now, I'll be leagues ahead, and on par with my 14 year old niece! ( Only love for her, no competition - just a happy observation. )

Thirty pounds from now, at my UGW of 110 (109 to be sure), I will have lapped them all and will morph even further into the slap-happiest camera-wielding monster you've ever seen~!
Never again will I squirm when someone else takes my photo, because I will *know* - for *sure* - that no matter what the image on the other side of that lens, I will always be *winning*.

( It's so petty, what's wrong with me?! But it's unbelievably motivational - I'm so excited! )

---

How long until my period comes back?
/u/ctrl_alt_mermaid
Created: Mon Jul 4 19:44:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4radi7/how_long_until_my_period_comes_back/
---
I haven't had it for about 6 months now.. I've been restricting for most of that time to around 700 calories per day plus high intensity exercise and running on top of that. I'm bordering just above the line of underweight for my age and height and not exactly sure what my BMI is. So I wasn't too shocked that I haven't been getting it. But I just had a holiday in the US for a month and binge ate pretty much the whole time. Basically Las Vegas buffets and cocktail bottle service nearly every night. I'm too scared to weigh myself but I look like I've gained probably 3kgs, I guess it could be worse.. Anyway, I expected to get my period back since I've been eating so much but it's just not coming.. Any idea how long it takes of to come back? Sorry if it's TMI.

---

[Help] Any tips for the bad breath issue caused by fasting?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Mon Jul 4 18:37:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ra4q3/any_tips_for_the_bad_breath_issue_caused_by/
---
Fasting is causing me to have terrible breath and since the problem isn't in the mouth and rather in the stomach, brushing teeth and chewing gum doesn't resolve the issue.

Does anyone have any tips for what I can do? Would chicken broth fix it? Any type of herb or vegetable good for this?

---

[Other] Saw a picture of myself from March on Facebook today
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Mon Jul 4 18:16:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ra1u6/saw_a_picture_of_myself_from_march_on_facebook/
---
I officially never want to eat again. Here is a picture from my most recent low weight (in the 160s I think) and me in March (at my high weight of around 230).

http://imgur.com/opyDwrt

I can't believe I ever let myself get that heavy. I'm currently down nearly 15lbs since April, and this is all the motivation I need to keep from binging today. In fact, I might not eat at all.

Dear god, I'm disgusting. No wonder my bf dumped me last year.

---

[Other] Aaaah, back to restricting after a long weekend! ♡
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jul 4 17:57:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r9zav/aaaah_back_to_restricting_after_a_long_weekend/
---
Sooo, ate at maintenance all weekend. Today I've had an apple, coffe, and dinner of zuuchini and snap peas. Yum. Hope everyone is having a great night! https://imgur.com/UBoEXO4

---

Intro/accountability
/u/_pizzagirl [5'5 | 131.5lbs | 22.14 | -23.1 | f]
Created: Mon Jul 4 17:44:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r9xhn/introaccountability/
---
Hey all,
No flair because mobile. I've been lurking for a little while now and something happened today that just really made me want to become a part of the community and be held accountable.

In regards to my username, 1. Obviously I love pizza. But 2. I used to work at a pizza shop when I made this account.

I'm 21/f 5.5 148lbs. This is my highest weight I have ever been. I hate it. Between marriage/career changes/cross country moves/depression it has slowly piled on. I feel absolutely horrible.

I got admitted to inpatient when I was 14 for anx/depression among other things. I've struggled with them my whole life and with that come and go my ed. I've mostly been b/ping recently but I just need help sticking to restricting. My ugw is 120

Idk what else to say but hi and thanks

---

[Intro] Realized I sort of just jumped in without a real intro, so here we go!
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 4 16:34:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r9n7b/realized_i_sort_of_just_jumped_in_without_a_real/
---
Hi all! I'm operadiva31 a 26-year-old opera singer, with 5 years of recovery from my 8+ year battle with bulimia. I still struggle with occasional relapses, and have been trying to lose the weight I gained after rehab/since moving in with my boyfriend in a healthy way.

I've had a rough few months with that, given a broken ankle, some major life setbacks, and most recently finding out that my bf cheating on me (posted about that the other day).

Update on that: we've decided to attempt counseling, but I've told him that there were no guarantees that I would choose to stay with him-long term. So I guess we're in a trial period/holding pattern.

I also struggle with drinking, and I find that frequently I have days that my calories are predominantly from alcohol. I'm not exactly feeling like I want to give that up, so I sort of refuse to classify myself as an alcoholic.

Anyway, I guess that's the basics of me. I have found so much love and positivity in this sub, and I so appreciate the atmosphere here. Thank you for having this safe space, and I hope to find a happy home here.

---

[Rant/Rave] sad rant
/u/nodamncatnodamncradl [5'10 | 140LB | 19.58 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 16:09:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r9joq/sad_rant/
---
I guess i've been denied an account to the sgossip message board because I seem like I have an ED even when I stated I didn't ?!?!?!?!?!?!!?1


This is making me supersad and generally grumpy.

---

[Tip] Looking for Round the House Excersize Ideas
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 15:34:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r9ei1/looking_for_round_the_house_excersize_ideas/
---
One I have come up with is doing 5 squats every time I want to go upstairs.

Any other ideas?

---

[Help] Munchies are killing me -- anyone know of any strains that don't cause munchies?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Mon Jul 4 14:51:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r97w7/munchies_are_killing_me_anyone_know_of_any/
---
I remember Bethany Frankel was talking about how she's working on a [munchie-less strain](http://www.thecannabist.co/2015/01/15/skinnygirl-pot-bethenny-frankel-marijuana/27499/) but there's no news about that lately.

I have found several lists of strains that claim to not have munchies and have tried a few but noticed no difference. Has anyone personally tried any and noticed either no increase in appetite or a ideally a decrease?

---

[Help] moderation
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 113.6lb | 18.06 | -50.4lb | NB]
Created: Mon Jul 4 14:38:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r95nw/moderation/
---
Anyone else have a problem with this? I either eat under 400 calories a day or binge and eat 1400-2000. like if I'm not restricting I just go into crazy eat everything mode. I hate feeling out of control like that. for some reason I can't find a happy medium.

---

[Other] Currently sitting here with family, surrounded by food.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Mon Jul 4 14:13:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r91fk/currently_sitting_here_with_family_surrounded_by/
---
Lord give me strength.

Happy Fourth to all my fellow Americans on this lovely sub ❤️🎉

---

[Other] Yesterday I overate but Idk how guilty I should feel about it
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Mon Jul 4 13:32:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r8ugs/yesterday_i_overate_but_idk_how_guilty_i_should/
---
I only ate dinner because I went on a date with this hot guy (!!!) and we went to this vegan bistro place. I ordered the "lightest" thing they had which was an Asian noodle salad. It had oily tofu and sesame dressing. He also wanted dessert and he ordered us green tea coconut ice cream! I couldn't NOT eat the food because the place was really swank and it would be rude of me. I enjoyed going out with him and I seriously like this guy so I'm not panicking as much.

Im the happiest I've ever been and I just want my Ed thoughts to go away.

I'm restricting today to cover the food I ate yesterday.

What would you guys do In my place?

---

[Intro] Celebrating one day without a binge
/u/MommyTemple [5'9 | 166 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 13:25:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r8t9g/celebrating_one_day_without_a_binge/
---
Throwaway, long time lurker. I feel silly writing here, let alone posting. I'll try to keep it short.


I am a terrible, hardcore binge eater. One day binge-free is huge for me. I am very fat, and that fat makes me look disgusting. I want to lose as much as possible, but the "healthy" ways to do it are just no longer working for me - I get triggered by food all the time, even healthy choices. Only restricting very low and to a very small variety of "safe" foods keeps me at bay.


I have to do this, this is the perfect moment to start, actually, it's long overdue, this weightloss. Bottom line is, I have exactly 7 months to lose the fat because I want to spend my 24th birthday finally being skinny and beautiful. This is my dream, this is my goal, that's what I have to remember at all times. 7 months seems like a lot of time, but I know myself too well. I will fuck up, it will get ugly. But I will get there.


I have to treat myself like the addict I am. And if AA's get to celebrate how many days they've been sober, I should do the same with binge-free days. I feel like this place is the only corner of the universe that can understand me, welcome me and listen without prejudice. Thank you for existing.

I've never been diagnosed with ED, but depression and anxiety - very much so. It does mess up my life, I spend my days being immersed in it and constantly living on the edge of fear, and eating for a long time was a way to cope; so much that I've never been skinny, not once. Food always won. But not anymore, I refuse to be enslaved like this.


The worst part is that I don't even really believe what I'm writing here. I'm very much so trying to convince myself even more than I'm trying to get you on my side. But I believe this sub gives all of us a pass to vent, rant, cry, be happy - to just feel, and you don't have to panic about being judged for your honesty. I want to take advantage of this pass.

tl;dr only way out of BED is heavy restriction, I love this place, please accept me.

---

[Rant/Rave] Vent
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1" | CW: 154 | -13 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 13:21:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r8sls/vent/
---
Why am I unable to turn down food from my boyfriend? I had every intention of not eating today until before bed (I take a few different pills at night so I have to eat something) and he just keeps asking me if I'm hungry. No. So he starts looking up which places are even open today. I don't want anything. He's going to whole foods and don't I want a cheeseburger? No.

Cut to me sitting here while he's out getting me not 1, but 2 cheeseburgers! I binged 3 days in a row at the end of last week. Yesterday I ate <500 and was planning on doing the same today, but instead now I'm going to eat 2 cheeseburgers and then have to eat again tonight to take my pills. I'm so annoyed. I need to have heavily restrictive days to offset my binging days which I'm having a hard time controlling right now, and it's so hard to do with other people around enforcing the normalcy of constantly eating. I wish I could restrict around other people but i always fall into whatever pattern they have going on. I wish I was stronger.

---

[Intro] Home from college - how do you deal? (also sort of an intro)
/u/siyea [161cm | too fat (๑◕︵◕๑) | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 12:41:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r8lke/home_from_college_how_do_you_deal_also_sort_of_an/
---
Hello everyone! This is my first time posting on this subreddit, but I've been lurking for a few months now. (Also this is a new account because some people know my username.)

I just finished my first year at college, and unlike most people, I actually lost weight! I could restrict without worrying because my roommates were rarely around, and I was so anxious about everything that food seemed unappetizing to me, which made things a lot easier.

Unfortunately, this second semester was harsh on me and I ended up binging. A lot. Like for two months. As you can imagine, this was reaaaaally harsh on my body and I gained so much that I'm afraid to step on a scale.

So I thought I could get back in track when I got home, but nope, everyone notices right away if I haven't been eating much all day. So they're all like "oh, just eat some more pasta!" or "why don't you eat breakfast? that's bad for you!". I've gotten unused to hiding my eating habits from my family, so I'm probably not being very subtle. Has anybody here ever been in this situation and do you have any tips?

---

[Rant/Rave] Oh dear
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Jul 4 12:39:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r8l9t/oh_dear/
---
I just tore up my goal jeans. They were starting to fit and I was trying to squeeze my fat ass in.

They were so perfect and and.. This + period angry me is about to cry.

---

[Goal] Doing super well today
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 12:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r8kzt/doing_super_well_today/
---
I'm going on a fast to compensate for overeating yesterday. I rode the transit system to a far corner of my city just for kicks this morning (took about 3 hours) and am now drinking tea before work to warm myself up. Unfortunately it's independence day here in the states, so avoiding dinner may be difficult. At least I will fast for as long as I can. Just thought I'd pass on the good vibes!

---

[Rant/Rave] 1-3 pound increase really messes up my mind
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 106.6 | 19.41 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 12:09:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r8g57/13_pound_increase_really_messes_up_my_mind/
---
So the last three days were a disgusting mess of binging while high. Wendys, check. Dairy queen, check. Pasta, check.

Looking back on it, it was "fun" during the time (haven't had a fast food hamburger in forever) but it was a disgusting mess of 3000+ calories a day for 3 days.

Unsurprinsingly, the scale has increased a by a few pounds. Whenever this happens, it REALLY messes with my head. It's literally only 2.8 pounds heavier than what I was last week, but that's just really difficult for me to process/deal with.

Does this happen to you? How do you deal :( I am going to drink as much water as humanly possible and eat as little as I can the next few days but... agh. :(

---

[Help] Burping and bad breath, I might as well be an ogre
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 4 11:14:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r86sd/burping_and_bad_breath_i_might_as_well_be_an_ogre/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] Does anyone use whisper? Made a group for us over there :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 4 11:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r84jf/does_anyone_use_whisper_made_a_group_for_us_over/
---
http://wis.pr/f/zyxson6

---

[Thinspo] Skins (UK, not US)
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 10:31:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r7zg2/skins_uk_not_us/
---
Everyone talks about Cassie from Skins but I'm in love with Effy. Cassie is too vapid and airy but Effy just oozes sex and confidence. I'm so happy that vol 3 focuses and this group rather than the original one.

---

[Help] Increased intake and the scale went up...
/u/slytherlin [5'5" | CW: 130 | GW:110 | NB]
Created: Mon Jul 4 10:15:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r7wnj/increased_intake_and_the_scale_went_up/
---
Can someone reassure me that I'm not piling fat back on? ;__; I'd been restricting to around 500 - 600 calories a day for basically all of June, but it was making my health shit so I've increased to 1000 calories a day.

Now logically I know that I can't have gained on 1000 a day (my TDEE is somewhere from 1600 - 1800), but when I'd been restricting to 600, my weight went under 130 (yay!). Since I've upped my intake about a week ago, my weight's ballooned up to 134 and I feel super bloated? Is this going to go away or do I have to restrict down again? I don't get it. :/

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 4 10:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r7unk/daily_food_diary_july_04_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Other] I feel really smug about this, but I shouldn't
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 4 09:59:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r7u1t/i_feel_really_smug_about_this_but_i_shouldnt/
---
I just moved into a new apartment after coming back from abroad, so I went to Target to pick up a couple of essentials. In my case, that was a bathroom scale, a kitchen scale, 6 packs of gum (it was on sale for $0.60 a box), a case of La Croix, a multivitamin with added caffeine (One a Day: Energy) and Primatene. I had to buy this all at the pharmacy counter because the way Primatene works.


It was all so obvious. Like there was no way the pharmacist didn't know what was up. I was smiling, talking politely, trying not to seem suspicious. It went all so smoothly! No one jumped out from behind the counter denying me my purchase or accusing me of an eating disorder. I guess I made the situation way more ridiculous in my mind, it's my legal right to buy all these things. As long as I don't exceed the legal limit of ephedrine purchases, what could anyone do to me besides give me a funny look?

---

Beginning a three week fast
/u/whenigettomoab [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 EWWWW | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 09:28:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r7oqp/beginning_a_three_week_fast/
---
Starting today, Monday July 4th, I will not eat solid foods for three weeks. After the first week I will allow caloric drinks including protein shakes. I'm doing this for a few reasons, the first of which is obviously to lose weight. The second is to gain some perspective. The third is to try and reset my relationship with food somewhat.

I lost more than 20 pounds from February to April and then basically binged it almost all away by having my binge/restrict cycle swing more towards bingeing. Since May I have been totally incapable of eating between 200 and 3000 calories, so every day is either nothing or everything. The result has been putting on 15 or so of those pounds back and I am just beyond ashamed. I want my body back and I want to keep making progress towards my goals like I was.

Next, I feel like I could use some serious perspective. I grew up white upper middle class and I've honestly never felt real need or even serious want in my life. Meanwhile there are people being persecuted for simply who they are all over the world, and I can't even begin to empathize. I'm really interested in Irish history and it occurred to me that the Troubles are one of the more relatable modern political struggles for me, and in that conflict ten hunger strikers died protesting their treatment. So it is perfect, I will go without food and use the opportunity to study something interesting to me and hopefully gain a little humility and understanding of what it's like to go through persecution and to really suffer.

Finally, as I said, I have been in this horrible binge/restrict cycle. I'm sure my insulin is all messed up and other food related hormones, and emotionally I need to get out of the pattern. I did a lot of research on the effects of fasting on appetite and it definitely seems to regulate it. Additionally with three weeks, I think I can find other ways of coping with stress that will make me more able to get through those situations without bingeing in the future.

Alright, sorry about the wall of text guys! Just wanted to get it all documented with someone other than me. I plan on journaling throughout and maybe writing something longer at the end. Let me know if you want me to share any of that! Wish me luck!

---

[Help] Can someone help me guess her BMI? Her body = GOALS. I'll never be as tall as her but I have her proportions and I need new thinspo material, so...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 07:43:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r79go/can_someone_help_me_guess_her_bmi_her_body_goals/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHgUNmYYAYM

---

[Rant/Rave] First binge in forever
/u/thin_is_in [5'8 | 115lbs | 17.3 | -35lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 4 07:32:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r77zh/first_binge_in_forever/
---
I've been restricting really well for a while and have managed to stay pretty much binge-free. Up until now.

And it was not pleasurable. It was a fridge-left-open, fast-as-possible, everything-in-the-house kind of binge. I put a hunk of butter of bread and just folded it half and stuffed it in my mouth, I didn't even spread it. It was just foul, and now I feel foul too.

I'm absolutely terrified that this is it now, that I'm back in a binging phase. I can't lose this, it's all I have right now. Any advice/harsh words/hugs?

---

[Help] How to avoid eating when invited?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jul 4 06:44:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r71x4/how_to_avoid_eating_when_invited/
---
On Tuesday I'm being invited to a barbecue and would like to avoid eating as much as possible. Does any one have any useful tips on how to do so?

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! July 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jul 4 06:03:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r6x7a/weekly_stats_update_july_04_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for July 04, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] Sleep deprivation makes me so bingey
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Mon Jul 4 05:49:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r6vrr/sleep_deprivation_makes_me_so_bingey/
---
It is currently 7:45am and I have not yet slept for the night. I woke up at 1pm yesterday, and honestly don't know when I'm going to get to sleep. But right now, that is not the foremost thing on my mind.


Right now I can't stop thinking about food. It is the 4th of July and I can't help thinking that maybe it would be ok if I didn't keep to my 300 calories I had planned for the day. That I could go to burger king and get the mac and cheetos I've been thinking about and a chili cheese dog. That I could eat one of the lean pockets from my fridge. That I could get Wendy's fries and maybe some nuggets or a hamburger. I keep thinking of all these things I could be eating. And I mean ALL the things I could be eating.

I hadn't planned on eating until at least 7pm tonight. I had planned on eating 3.72 oz of baked chicken breast, 115g of sweet potato, 100g of celery, 50g of boiled beets, and about 4 cherries. I had planned on eating 294 calories worth of food with 29g of protein total. This was my plan. I made it last night.

And yet here I am, wondering when burger king stops selling breakfast and starts selling mac and cheetos. Wondering if it would really be ok. Like, if I'd lost weight since yesterday, would it be ok? If I didn't eat at all tomorrow, would it be ok?

If I could just sleep, I know it would be ok. I could make it through the cravings. I could sleep until 7pm, when it would be safe to make my planned dinner, and I would know for sure that I would be thinner tomorrow.

If only I could sleep.

---

[Other] I made a thing a while back and just now found it. This goes for all of you, guys too!
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Jul 4 04:59:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r6qe9/i_made_a_thing_a_while_back_and_just_now_found_it/
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http://imgur.com/TFsFo3s

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[Rant/Rave] Conditions are perfect. I can't mess this up. I need help.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 4 04:08:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r6l4r/conditions_are_perfect_i_cant_mess_this_up_i_need/
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Conditions are perfect this week.

* My father is away on holiday all week - that means no random invites to run I can't turn down, which means no having to find a quick carb snack so I have energy and he's not suspicious of how tired I am.

* My partner cannot make it for the whole weekend this weekend, only Sunday. That means I don't have to eat Saturday as I usually do. I get an extra fast day...

Bonus:

* I have money issues and have to save money anyway, so it's best I buy as little food as possible.

This hardly ever happens these days. **I really need to make the most of it**. If I fuck this up, I am going to be an utter state. I need, need, NEED to make the most of this.

My weeks calories should look like this:

Mon: Fast

Tues: Fast

Wednesday: 650kcal (Gym day)

Thurs: Fast

Fri: 650kcal (Gym day)

Sat: Fast

*Sun: ~Free day~ (Seeing partner, but I'd have kept this anyway as it's beneficial to me).*

*It's my perfect week... the one I strive for... and now it's possible...*

I'm freaking out that I'll mess this up. It's SUCH a rare opportunity. Every calorie counts now my TDEE is lower. An extra fast day is precious. Uninterrupted fasting and restricting is rare, and precious. Fuck. I need to NOT mess up.

I can do it. I came close last week with my fast days in the week perfect, but then there was a bit more nibbling on gym days.. and obviously having to eat Saturday with my partner around.

But I'm such a fucking failure in general.. which means I probably will mess up.. and I'm so hungry all the time now that I am lifting at the gym. Shit. After Wednesday I become ravenous.

I need more of a plan.

I need to get *dead fucking serious* this week.

I need to be 88lbs by September 1st and it's a fucking tight goal as it is. This is precious. Shiiittt.

(rant thread, but **ANY AND ALL ADVICE GREATLY APPRECIATED. ANYTHING. SERIOUSLY, ANYTHING, NO MATTER HOW SILLY OR SMALL IT SEEMS**)

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Places to eat out
/u/princessxpixie [5"4.5 | 104lbs | 17.5 | -29lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Jul 4 02:15:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r6940/places_to_eat_out/
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Just wondering if anybody new of a place in England that sells low cal food. Going to dinner with my boyfriend and he said ita completely my choice but most places dont even have the calorie content. Anybody in England know of anywhere that has low cal meals ?

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[Rant/Rave] Shit goddamn it, I fucking binged!!!!!
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Jul 4 01:51:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r66iy/shit_goddamn_it_i_fucking_binged/
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I hate myself so much right now, needless to say. I was trying to save up my calories for fourth of july dinner, or maybe have a banana an hour before dinner so I wouldn't be tempted to binge during... but my mom wanted my husband to make his special caramel chocolate squares... which are 300 calories for an inch piece. And my husband asked me if I wanted to lick the melted chocolate off the bowl, and goddamn it I couldn't resist. I said yes.

I ate approximately (I'm totally guessing) 5 tablespoons of chocolate chips, melted. (350 calories) I then ate a tablespoon of peanut butter (95) and 2 prunes (50).

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck me and my goddamn fucking fat lard-ass fucking fatty mcfatso body!!!! 500 FUCKING CALORIES AND IT'S NOT EVEN SUNRISE YET!!!

I was trying so hard to fast yesterday to save up for the fourth and I ruined it. Even if I only eat at maintenance, (1400) that only leaves me 1100 calories... and that sounds like a whole lot and it is... but I wanted plenty of wiggle room to...well... binge. They have so much food. dips and crackers and grilled stuff and desserts and I wanted, for just one day, to be able to eat a burger, a hot dog, some dip and crackers, and a dessert (or two... goddamn me) like all the rest of my family does on this stupid holiday.

God damn it...

I am a terrible, terrible, awful fucking waste of space. Why should I even want to eat that disgusting amount, ever?

And the worst part is, I'm probably going to anyway. I'll write it down somewhere during the pig-out party and count the calories the next morning like a monk recounting his sins.

Does crying burn calories?

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[Discussion] ASMR and eating sounds
/u/mandagin [5'6" | 148 | 24 | -2 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 23:57:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r5tzn/asmr_and_eating_sounds/
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I know mukkbangs are pretty popular among us but do you any of you like ASMR? Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, or basically soft sounds that give you a tingly feeling. There are some where people do eating sounds, and even though I dislike mukkbangs I found people eating quietly (and neatly) to be really relaxing and it doesn't really make me want food. They tend to actually help my cravings and relaxation aspect has helped me in stressful times.

I like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nA0wD0YpcmQ&list=PLAdXhR1o2X6RW3rQXxXR247kgMZjEP88t&index=3) one the best (no eating sounds, just a craft but its in Japanese sorry)

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how to install PTC Wildfire Pro Engineer 5.0 on windows 7 8.1 and window...
/u/saishtech
Created: Sun Jul 3 23:35:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r5rbq/how_to_install_ptc_wildfire_pro_engineer_50_on/
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https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=w43tBpapBK8&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DHuWNHc6NDEI%26feature%3Dshare

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[Discussion] I did an EC stack for the first time and felt nothing??
/u/abby___normal [5'5" | 110 | 18.3 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 21:59:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r5fn0/i_did_an_ec_stack_for_the_first_time_and_felt/
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I bought Primatene and was nervous about how it would affect me so I cut the tab in half (so only 6.25mg). I took it yesterday and minus a little bit of heart pounding within an hour of taking it, I felt nothing. I drank Coke Zero and tea with it for caffeine.

Didn't suppress my appetite at all. I felt RIDICULOUSLY cold and tired.

I figured maybe I just needed to settle into it. So I did the same thing today. Same result.

I'm going to try a whole tab (12.5mg) and more caffeine tomorrow, but has anyone else had an experience like this? I'm just really surprised and confused.

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling very depressed and full of fail today
/u/BrokenButNotDeadYet [5'6.5" | 207.6lbs | STG: 180| -15.0lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 21:49:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r5ed6/feeling_very_depressed_and_full_of_fail_today/
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Apologies in advance for being a whiny brat.

I feel like I'm just always going to be huge. I'm so old (39) and on so many psych meds that made me so fat - I used to be 92 pounds in my early 20s but I replaced ana with drinking for over a decade and now the damage is done and I am so disgusting. I'm too depressed to do any other exercise but a 45 minute walk around the grocery store every day (it's air conditioned there, and I can fill my head with negative self-talk about how disgusting I am by just looking at the food) and I just want to be losing more than I am faster.

Before I was permanently disabled by my mental illnesses, I was a a social worker and have all this training, so much so that my therapist has said I know far more about ED than she does so she's not even going to try to talk me out of my restricting, which is great because I can be honest with her and she doesn't try to stop me, yay! But I just feel like I'll always be this huge.

I'm sorry for the long whine.

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[Help] Could restricting be giving me this nausea and sickness?
/u/Jaaasss [5'3 | 114 | 21.2 | GW 100| F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 19:32:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r4vui/could_restricting_be_giving_me_this_nausea_and/
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Recently, i've been restricting and exercising heavily, and now the past 4 days i've felt absolutely REVOLTED at the idea of most food (just thinking about pasta makes me queasy). I keep throwing up everything, involuntarily, and have only kept down 2 sandwiches in the past 4 days.

Could restricting be doing this? Seriously wtf? Is my stomach now "fuq you food" and can't handle it? Or is this totally non related? If anyone has any like experiences pls share!! Sorry if this is a stupid question I just hate the constant nausea!I don't know what to do.
Thank you honey bees xxx

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first time fast?
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Sun Jul 3 18:51:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r4qa0/first_time_fast/
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I'm underage, so I can't get an EC Stack, but I'm still (delusionally) determined to try fasting.

**The Questions**

a) If I limit myself to 24-32 hours, will I need any specific refeeding processes?

b) Any tips on making it through the day, resisting temptation, etc?

c) Does caffeine help on its own, without Bronkaid/Primatine?

d) Wish me luck? :)

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[Discussion] Seriously screw these people, I hate this attitude
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 18:44:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r4pey/seriously_screw_these_people_i_hate_this_attitude/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/79fe68298875459aa3684ebab5eeed2e?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=4c21ee67cc48cf59e0a3f3385cd09bee

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[Goal] 7 weeks of restricting and people are noticing!
/u/cuts-and-cats [5'2 | 115 GW: 100 | 21 | -25 lbs |F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 18:21:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r4m65/7_weeks_of_restricting_and_people_are_noticing/
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I've been heavily restricting for seven weeks now, sticking to 300 calories per day. I've lost almost 20 pounds, just bought size 2 jeans today that fit me perfect, and every one I see mentions my weight loss. I love it and feel like I'm in heaven and can't wait to lose my last 15 pounds!

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[Help] So i did a hilariously horrible photoshop of my body..
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 17:35:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r4fpy/so_i_did_a_hilariously_horrible_photoshop_of_my/
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and would like to know what weight you guys think i should be to get there!

http://imgur.com/a/ejIVn

I am 5'5.5" and am currently around 125 pounds. My stomach is still pretty big and mushy at the moment and my lovehandles really take away from the waistline i could have. Since i have a bubble butt, i know my thighs are gonna be extra hard to lose, but im more concerned on my waist and hip shape. Please leave comments below and let me know what weight my shitty photoshop is most likely at! Im worried my goal weight of 115 is way off.

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[Discussion] I know this is not much, but sometimes just 4 pounds make a difference
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 3 17:07:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r4bos/i_know_this_is_not_much_but_sometimes_just_4/
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http://imgur.com/1Qqhrk2

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[Rant/Rave] Restricted to less than 300 cal for a month and a half (so far)...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 17:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r4bjv/restricted_to_less_than_300_cal_for_a_month_and_a/
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But don't have a scale! So frustrating! Anxious to see my progress and if I'll hit my goal by the end of August but have no idea what my weight is now. Not even sure if that 113 was accurate since I used a really inaccurate, cheap scale.

I can't even look in the mirror and tell if I lost weight. This is kind of miserable.

Edit: that was 300 cal or less per day for a month and a half, not 300 calories over 45 days hahahaha

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[Other] I'm freaking out
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Sun Jul 3 16:40:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r47qb/im_freaking_out/
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I was making myself a sweet potato and my mom noticed I didn't use any oil. She said that was verrrry suspicious and asked me why I was avoiding oil. She then took it upon herself to DRENCH my potato in olive oil :( I tried to get rid of it by washing the potato in vegetable broth. Do you guys think it still has calories left over from the oil?

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[Rant/Rave] Mega Binge
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 12:52:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r3914/mega_binge/
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I've only been back in the UK for a week and I had lost all my holiday weight. Fit in my old skinnier clothes, was feeling great about myself.

But then my SO wanted to treat me, to do something special for me. Of course that involved food.
Indian curry, naan, rice, popadoms from followed by all the chocolate in the world.

FML. Why couldn't I think of a way to say no to food? I'm such a fucking failure. My tummy is so bloated and huge. I feel sick. I hate myself. Trying to resist the urge to self harm.

I'm dreading waking up tomorrow and getting on the scale.

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[Thinspo] Intro & mini-thinspo album from better days [NSFW]
/u/lua_89 [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -4 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 11:58:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r311k/intro_minithinspo_album_from_better_days_nsfw/
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I've been lurking forever but I finally have the guts to do this.

I'm 5'5". At my recent lowest, I weighed 100 pounds. Somehow I'm 130-135 right now, depending on which scale I trust.

I kind of went and got my heart broken this weekend. It hurts like a bitch tbh but I'm also almost glad in kind of a sick way? I just know it's what I needed to fix this shit. I'm done with disgusting myself. I'm fasting today, and maybe tomorrow if I can get through work. I know how to do this.

I'm posting this to keep myself accountable, and honestly I've never really talked to anyone about this before. So um, hi.

[NSFW: This is me at 105 & 110](http://imgur.com/a/I94tD)

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[Discussion] Fellow Americans - how go the holidays? What are your plans, eating or otherwise?
/u/Dr0pDex [172cm | 45.3kg | 15.04]
Created: Sun Jul 3 11:56:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r30p9/fellow_americans_how_go_the_holidays_what_are/
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I'm pissed...shit, I've been maintaining until now but I doubt I will after this fucking shitshow of an afternoon.

God bless America, I guess.

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[Tip] So I made some printables
/u/babygloom [5'6'' | 90 | 14.73 | -29 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 11:19:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r2v9y/so_i_made_some_printables/
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...they're here: http://imgur.com/a/DWXAs, if anyone's interested!

It's basically a 'don't break the chain' thingy and it works like this:

* circle/highlight the days on which you achieved the goal with a green pen (or use your favourite colour!)

* circle/highlight the bad days with red

* if you don't plan on tracking some days (for example eating more on Saturdays/only working out from Monday to Friday, etc.), fill them in with a black pen

Oh and I still have the .psd file, so if you need any specific ones that aren't in the imgur album yet just PM me! :)

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[Rant/Rave] 'When he sees it he won't be able to resist'
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 55kg | 18.43 | -33kg | NB/M]
Created: Sun Jul 3 10:48:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r2qzl/when_he_sees_it_he_wont_be_able_to_resist/
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My family are fucking disgusting. We ate out today for a special occasion and when I turned down dessert after having an 850 cal main (budget for today was 800) my stepmum started making loads of snide comments about how I didn't want dessert.

'It doesn't matter that you're full. We're all full. We're being gluttons.'

'It's just one sundae.'

'We'll get an extra spoon for you. When you see it you won't be able to resist.'

I didn't have a drop of that sundae. I'm off to cycle 25 miles now. I'm going to be 58kg at the end of the month and I'm going to hit 20k steps for the next three days. I don't want to be part of this family.

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[Discussion] DAE log food they haven't actually eaten?
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11½ | 138.2 | 18.93 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 10:46:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r2qrl/dae_log_food_they_havent_actually_eaten/
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I do this all the time, but not really on purpose. I prelog all my food every morning, but if there is something I didn't eat by evening I should remove it, but I simply can't. There's really no rational reasoning behind this, which is why I wonder if anybody else does it.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jul 3 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r2k74/daily_food_diary_july_03_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for July 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Discussion] What are some of your favorite quotes?
/u/ItsJustJeffrey
Created: Sun Jul 3 09:47:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r2i22/what_are_some_of_your_favorite_quotes/
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I like:

"Empty is pure, starving is the cure".

"Skip dinner, wake up thinner".

"Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels".

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[Rant/Rave] what is my life, haha
/u/sylphlike [5'4 | hmm. | hurr. | -9.6 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 09:04:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r2c4t/what_is_my_life_haha/
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I woke up this morning to play on the swings. I either go really early or really late because I can't stand little children running behind me on the swings. (Note: When I was seven, another little kid did that to me, and I kicked his front teeth out while I was swinging. Accidentally, but now it freaks me out.) Anyway, I was about to get on the swings, when this older dude comes by and he asks if I'd like to play football. (Soccer, for you Americans who refuse to accept that title.) *Sure*, sez I. *Why not?* sez I.

We start playing and then he's like, we should warm up first. (Because I suck and he assumed it was because I wasn't warmed up.) Anyway, long story short, he makes me do laps and all these body-weight exercises, then basically starts coaching me in the ancient and mystical art of football.

Then suddenly, he stops and asks me, while I'm sweating (*semi-profusely*, I admit), if I eat a lot. I say no really quickly. Then he asks, what about junk food. I say sure, because I assume he'll keep asking. Then he's like, *well, that's how you get fat. You gotta jog.*

And I'm like, yay, the universe speaks to me and says EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN SAYING TO MYSELF FOREVER

Thank you, stranger, for reminding me I could stand to lose a few pounds. And also for making yourself my personal trainer.

~~It's not like I was tired because I haven't had breakfast, haven't exercised vigorously in a while, or because I'm restricting heavily. Of course not, you old fucker.~~ Can't wait for tomorrow morning.

-_-"

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[Discussion] Ways to make apples more interesting?
/u/oddchirping
Created: Sun Jul 3 08:59:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r2bgr/ways_to_make_apples_more_interesting/
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Apples are one of those perishable but lasting foods that are year round, though I absolutely hate how bland they are. I was thinking of putting cinnamon on them but was unsure if this would even enhance the taste. Does anyone out there have a good idea how to flavor up or make apples less boring to eat?

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[Rant/Rave] I have to starve for 25 days. Wut.
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Jul 3 08:31:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r27xp/i_have_to_starve_for_25_days_wut/
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So, I want to lose 10 pounds, which would put me at 100.8

3500 kcals= 1 lb.

35,000 kcals = 10 lbs

My tdee= ~1400

35,000/1400= 25

25 days. of fasting. Not restricting. FASTING.

How...?
What...?
Wouldn't that kill me? Literally cause me to be dead? My math must be wrong... please?

Dammit.

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[Rant/Rave] My waist is getting smaller (finally seeing my ribs!) but my legs are still the same.
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 07:20:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r1zcs/my_waist_is_getting_smaller_finally_seeing_my/
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UGH. I run every morning at the beach. Maybe not run the entire thing, I slow a bit down after every other mile. It ends up being HIIT.

I don't eat many carbs, unless if it's given to me by friends/coworkers/etc. Still working on saying no or making excuses about no wanting to eat.

Anyways my legs have gone through no change. My inner thighs are fat, but my hamstrings and outer thighs are pretty hard. I used to do a lot of elliptical (20 incline, 20 resistance), hamstring abductors (PR at 370lbs), linear leg press (PR 540lbs), lunges, squats, and other weighted lower body exercises. I also have calves the size of tree stumps and the worst part is that I'm relatively short and it makes me look like I have cankles when I wear shorts.

I know my exercises are probably the reason why my legs aren't changing but I look so fucking distorted that I hate looking in the mirror and I have to wear baggy plaid shirts to hide my little waist.

:'(

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[Thinspo] Encouraging everyone here to subscribe yo r/truespo
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 07:01:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r1x8u/encouraging_everyone_here_to_subscribe_yo_rtruespo/
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Was recently made a proED redditor sick of r/thinspo with all their porny fitspo

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[Rant/Rave] i miss starving myself.
/u/dollveinz
Created: Sun Jul 3 04:10:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r1hh8/i_miss_starving_myself/
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SO much. it gave me a sense of identity, and something to look forward to. without it i'm just a black hole of a girl.it's not even physical at all, starving is so fucking spiritual for me. i don't wanna be pretty, i let my hair soak up grease and wear thrift store dresses,i don't care at all,, and still i can't escape it. Magazines didn't invent eating disorders, they grew inside us. it's growing from inside me. and i don't want to recover anymore because i want to be able to feel celestial & not care that all my friends hate me and that i am not talented. i just miss that feeling because it's all i ever had.

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[Help] Worst feeling from binging and purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 3 03:09:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r1cjc/worst_feeling_from_binging_and_purging/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Clara Rockmore was gorgeously tiny and svelte
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Sun Jul 3 00:33:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r0z8j/clara_rockmore_was_gorgeously_tiny_and_svelte/
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https://i.redd.it/7v4e2x3fvy6x.png

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Clara Rockmore was gorgeously tiny and svelte
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 3 00:32:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r0z5n/clara_rockmore_was_gorgeously_tiny_and_svelte/
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http://www.node-rdv.ch/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Clara-Rockmore-portrait-by-Toppo.png

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[Rant/Rave] types of beautiful
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jul 3 00:20:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r0y2t/types_of_beautiful/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Eating at work?
/u/qwertylooping [5' 3" | LW 107 | CW: dory speaks my language]
Created: Sat Jul 2 23:39:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r0u52/eating_at_work/
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So I just got hired for a standard 9-5 desk job this summer & school year!! Go me!! But I'm nervous about eating at work. I've never had a regular eating schedule - I just ate when I couldn't stand the hunger anymore. And lately I've been in a place where I'm either fasting or bingeing, with no happy medium. I'm thinking of going keto and getting into intermittent fasting to help with the hunger & brainfog, and eat only at home so my housemates don't get suspicious (one of them knows). Does anyone else do this? How does one adult successfully with an ED????

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling like a failure.
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 22:29:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r0mny/feeling_like_a_failure/
---
I've been doing pretty okay with my fast this week. I finally got my fiancé to stop pestering me so much and let me do my thing. I broke it on Thursday because his mom came back from a trip and wanted to go to dinner, so I had 500 calories worth of chicken and French fries. But even with that epic fuck up, my total calories since Monday have only been at like 1200-1300.

It doesn't feel like enough though. I just went to the gym and was only able to run on the elliptical for 20 minutes before I started feeling dizzy and gave up. I'm so fucking disappointed in myself for it. I can usually do an hour at least. I know I'm running on s pretty steep calorie deficit but I've got more than enough body fat to burn. I should have just pushed through it and kept going for at least 45 minutes.

Super close to just giving up and just binging. Or at the very least eating. Which is annoying because I was so good today and didn't eat anything. :c fuck me. I'm never going to be anything but a fucking whale.

---

[Rant/Rave] So my roommates cleaned out the fridge....
/u/intlspacetrash [5'5" | 111 lbs | 18.69 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 22:04:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r0jsp/so_my_roommates_cleaned_out_the_fridge/
---
Which is nice because the fridge was a bit of a disaster, but upon closer inspection I find they've thrown out my loaf of bread (like 5 slices left) and the head of lettuce I bought literally 2 days ago and had only eaten the outer 3 leaves. Thankfully it looks like those are the only two things missing, but I was going to make a sandwich with the tuna I had left from last night so I was really upset that the bread and lettuce were gone. I legitimately sat down and started tearing up over a head of lettuce. I feel so stupid, but I'm pretty broke so I'd been counting on that lettuce to last me a while and I hate when I have to deviate from my food plans. They've thrown out my onions before too even though it was clearly still good and I'd only gotten to use like 1/8th of it.
I guess I shouldn't complain too much because now I have to walk to the grocery store and back tomorrow instead of staying in bed all day 😔

---

[Rant/Rave] I had a really good day today
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 21:36:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r0gf2/i_had_a_really_good_day_today/
---
I know this is kinda late in the night, but my friends are all MIA and I wanted to tell *someone* about my day.

Yesterday was crap, as everyone and their dog wanted McDonald's on Canada Day so I was literally worked to the bone for eight, almost nine hours. I managed to fast through lunch, but broke down after work and ate half a cup of yogurt covered raisins (huge weakness) and a couple cups of Cheerios. Weak, I know.

But today! Today was amazing. I only worked four and a half hours, so I didn't get a break (which means I skipped lunch without it seeming suspicious). And I found out that McDonald's iced coffee with sugar free vanilla syrup (no cream, of course) is zero calories! So I had a ton of that after work - thank you, dollar drink days! And I walked for like three hours because I had so much extra energy. Also, I found out I get paid extra for working on Canada Day :D

I didn't eat anything the entire day. I dunno why but I felt really powerful, knowing that I hadn't eaten today. I work longer hours tomorrow, but I'm hoping I can keep this up. The coffee should help tons, I'm really glad I found out about that.

Edit: Aaand, I felt super thin. My thighs didn't look disgusting and I actually managed to take [this](http://imgur.com/1cfKjWD) picture :)

---

[Help] [Help] How much more should I lose?
/u/charlottevp [5'3''|118|-40 lbs|F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 21:17:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r0e71/help_how_much_more_should_i_lose/
---
Please be honest guys, I'm 5'3 and I'm down to 119. My mom told me to "please not lose any more weight" but I still feel freaking huge. My goal weight is 115, but I don't think I'll look or feel any lighter if I reach it. How much do you guys think I should weigh for my height?

---

[Rant/Rave] Coworkers.
/u/Ravanys [61" | 135.8 | 26.80 | 50 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 20:37:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4r09ex/coworkers/
---
Hey everyone,

First time posting, from mobile.

Just want to start off with I hope everyone is having an OK night.

I just want to vent about work. Not only has it been so stressful my IBS has flared up full force, but my coworkers make it impossible for me to not think about food.

They are all overweight, obese really. They eat constantly. I think they may also be intentionally trying to get me to eat. They will offer food and even when I denied them, keep pushing, or wait a few minuets and offer something else. I have lost 45 pounds in front of them so maybe a jealousy thing?

They know I am having issues with my digestive track and I use that as my main excuse, but that just makes it feel more malicious to me. Like I have a painful physical reaction to eating that fucking cookie and you know it, why are you doing this?

If I get upset my manager gets offended like I hurt her feelings. She is a huge child in most ways so this isn't surprising.

My last day at this location is Saturday and it can't get here soon enough.

Thanks for listening. Love you all.

---

[Goal] Clothes Shopping
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 69 lb | 14.19 | -53 lb | FTM]
Created: Sat Jul 2 19:06:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qzxyz/clothes_shopping/
---
(On mobile again, sorry!)

Sorry that I haven't been contributing for the past weeks, life has been... Interesting.

Anyway, I'm going abroad for a bit over a month, so in preparation my mother has been taking me clothes shopping, which is somehow making me feel... Good. Proud, even:

*Uniqlo pants are too big for me. As in, the smallest sizes they have in the entire store are still too large for me. It actually kind of sucks because I like Uniqlo, but hey, this means I'm losing! Besides, there's always shirts/sweaters.

*In almost all stores, I'm XS/size 00. The exceptions are children's clothing.

*In Hollister, I'm the smallest pants size they have - 000!

*Some XS clothes are actually a little big on me!

*I had to go to a children's store to get pants... It was a bit embarrassing, seeing as I was at least four years older than all the other patrons, but not only do I fit in children's clothes, I'm not the largest size (10-12 for shorts, largest size available being 14)!

So. Things have been going fairly well, surprisingly!

---

[Help] Roommate Help
/u/ElephantChild
Created: Sat Jul 2 18:07:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qzqev/roommate_help/
---
Hello! My roommate has an ED and I'm not sure how to support her in the way she needs to be supported. I thought the best way to find out is to ask other people that suffer from an ED. I'm sorry if I'm crossing boundaries in this community but I just don't know what to do.

Currently I've been home in my room for about 5 hours (she doesn't know I'm home) and I've heard her go to the kitchen and back to the bathroom multiple times to purge. These purges are accompanied by crying and words like "why are you so fucking weak, you are the fucking worst"

Any advice is accepted. Once again I'm sorry if I've crossed any boundaries.

---

[Rant/Rave] A toddler said I had a baby in my belly [rant]
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 17:41:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qzmw1/a_toddler_said_i_had_a_baby_in_my_belly_rant/
---
Fuck me for wearing a bikini right? As good an excuse as any to not eat all next week.

---

[Help] TMI: after binging...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 16:19:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qzbl3/tmi_after_binging/
---
I got really bad diareah (spelling is hard)? I didn't take ANY laxatives and was planning on just sitting with it (nearly 2000 cal of food but I was too tired to get up, nevermind purging)... but then I woke up after an hour and just ran to the bathroom and everything came out. Really thin, and I could see seeds from the strawberries I'd had for breakfast floating around.

This was my first binge in almost a month (when I was restricting to less than 300 a day). Did my body actually process the food or did it just clear it all out? Has anyone else experiences this? Again, I didnt use laxatives. Is my digestive system in shock?

---

[Help] I SUCCESSFULLY MADE SPAGHETTI SQUASH! wat do
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 15:58:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qz8k3/i_successfully_made_spaghetti_squash_wat_do/
---
https://imgur.com/MfZU2jH

---

[Rant/Rave] So fat, can't leave the house.
/u/KillingKylie [5'5| Piggy|-25|F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 15:52:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qz7ra/so_fat_cant_leave_the_house/
---
I am so fat! I cannot stand the thought of leaving the house. I have eaten maintenance all week and skipped the gym due to insanely long work days.... I just want to cut the fat off of my body even if it means I die.

I am not worthy of love, friendship or attention until I am no longer fat. Until I am no linger fat I am not a human and I do not matter!

/rant over.

---

[Other] Ate my dinner today at a bus stop across from this...
/u/Erenem [5'4 | 88 | 15.10 | -32lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 14:39:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qyx9c/ate_my_dinner_today_at_a_bus_stop_across_from_this/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/8e516bd2cc0d4e1c97d08a5ddc9e92a1?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=647d03b70a0c9ed7facc4f8725c54198

---

[Other] My ed logic:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 2 14:24:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qyuzx/my_ed_logic/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] I went to the farmers market today
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Sat Jul 2 14:20:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qyucm/i_went_to_the_farmers_market_today/
---
And I was so excited. I have been feeling so good since I cut out all the crap and filled my 300-600 calories a day with lovely nutritious veggies.

So I'm doing my once through of the market to see what all is there and figure out which booths to go back and buy things from, and I'm hit by this smell.

*Fresh Doughnuts*

It was amazing. It was everything I could ever want in life. Delicious fried starchy carbs. They were calling my name.

But I am strong. I am a strong independent woman. And I walked out of that market with beets (complete with beet greens), radishes, cherries (my special treat), and the most beautiful cucumber I have ever seen. And I couldn't be more happy! All I'm missing is celery, mushrooms, and apple cider vinegar and I'm done with my shopping for all of next week! So proud of myself for not giving in.

---

[Discussion] Fear/Safe Foods
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Sat Jul 2 13:12:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qykfj/fearsafe_foods/
---
What are you guys'? My main fear foods are definitely pasta and rice (why rice? not sure.) , and my biggest safe foods right now are sweet potatoes, plain chicken, and instant grits or oatmeal. They don't exactly make sense but there they are.

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[Discussion] Sugar and fake sugar leads face / stomach bloat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 2 13:04:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qyj9b/sugar_and_fake_sugar_leads_face_stomach_bloat/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] Binge prevention strategy - thought you guys might find this helpful! :)
/u/babygloom [5'6'' | 90 | 14.73 | -29 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 12:48:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qygqz/binge_prevention_strategy_thought_you_guys_might/
---
http://www.choosehelp.com/topics/addiction-treatment/learn-the-four-ds-2013-a-simple-relapse-prevention-strategy

---

[Discussion] at what bmi did you start to look skinny?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 2 12:45:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qygcu/at_what_bmi_did_you_start_to_look_skinny/
---
at what weight did you guys start off looking noticeably thinner? this constant waiting for something to change keeps putting me off...

---

[Tip] Safe cocktails?
/u/vhenah [5'7 | 141.8 | 22.13 | -78.2 | MOO]
Created: Sat Jul 2 12:11:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qyb77/safe_cocktails/
---
I'm heading off to the beach and my gaggle of fronds are going to a bar. I want to drink but at the same time I don't want to cry over the thought of stepping on the scale tomorrow etc etc. Does anyone have any suggestions? I don't drink much so I know virtually nothing lmao.


**on mobile, will flair later tonight sorry sorry

---

[Help] HELP, STARTED BINGING
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 11:54:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qy8ri/help_started_binging/
---
Since I got up this morning I have been inhaling the food out of my fridge and I can't stop. What do I do. I am trying so hard to convince myself NOT to walk to the corner store to buy x number of chocolate bars and eating them alone in my bed. I am already WAY over my intake goal for the day and feel crap. Want to cry

---

starting monday : half abc diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 2 10:55:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qxzyu/starting_monday_half_abc_diet/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] DAE keep track of their progress in calories to burn instead of pounds to lose?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 10:49:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qxz45/dae_keep_track_of_their_progress_in_calories_to/
---
I just calculated this because I was curious, and it made each calorie seem so much more important. My current goal is to lose the two pounds I gained last week - so that would be 7000 calories. My tdee is 1600, so I'd subtract that each morning and then add calories as I ate. I feel like it makes me pay so much more attention to every single piece of food I eat. Like, I could eat this can of tuna, but I'd be 200 calories farther away from my goal.

I just thought I'd put this out there to see what your all's thoughts are. And so that it might help you all, too.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jul 2 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qxs32/daily_food_diary_july_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] Kind of irritated at where my body burns fat while losing weight.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 2 09:40:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qxoum/kind_of_irritated_at_where_my_body_burns_fat/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] Vegan Recipes-- because sharing is caring.
/u/sylphlike [5'4 | hmm. | hurr. | -9.6 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 07:47:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qxa2e/vegan_recipes_because_sharing_is_caring/
---
I made a funny [:

I don't know about the rest of you, but I love reading recipes, vegan or not. [These recipes](http://simpleveganblog.com/recipes/) are all vegan. I'm sharing for those of you who've been looking for vegan friendly stuff and are too lazy to use the google machine. (Been there before. I can relate.) It lists the sodium content among other things for a couple of these, which I personally enjoy, ~~although to be honest I find the sodium content for most of those recipes completely abhorrent~~.

I actually kind of collect recipes and stuff, even if I don't try all of them. I like to use my imagination. I'm sure they would taste wonderful. So, you know, have fun with this. Feel free to share more links for recipes down below. And watch that sodium intake!

**P.S.** For those of you who enjoy fried rice recipes, you want to cook it the day before and let it sit in the fridge. Don't fry your rice the same day you boiled it, for best results.

**P.P.S.** [Bonus recipe!](http://86lemons.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/ChickpeaRatatouille.pdf) Not from the same blog, but it's for ratatouille, which is a really great dish. And for anyone who cares, it's vegan *and* gluten free. Oo la la~

---

[Rant/Rave] There goes my fasting plan. :(
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Sat Jul 2 05:10:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qwuf4/there_goes_my_fasting_plan/
---
I was thinking I was gonna go for a 4 day fast starting on Monday, but here I am at 4 am getting antibiotics for a UTI. So I guess that's out the window. Maybe next week? :(

---

[Discussion] "If everything goes wrong, at least I have this" - anyone else feel this way?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 2 04:50:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qwsm5/if_everything_goes_wrong_at_least_i_have_this/
---
Long story short, something happened yesterday that could fuck my life up totally - well, financially at least. Completely. As in, I'd be left with zero income, zero savings, very few possessions, and very very little chance of getting myself on my feet again any time soon after (don't make me explain, it's really long winded and confusing and oh god too much :P).

I have no idea how it will turn out. It could be okay. If someone decides to act like a complete dick, then I'll have nothing.

I've faced this situation a couple of times before - *years* ago now though, so before my ED was really a thing. At most, it was a baby ED. Not really part of my life. I'd restrict a little and then binge a little but generally, it wasn't a thing. It wasn't even something I acknowledged - more a case of 'I feel fat today, I'll only eat dinner' or 'I don't care today, I'll eat a load of donuts yay!'. Fucked up eating I guess, rather than an ED (I was also obese).

Those times I faced this situation, faced ruin, back then.. god, I paniced. I would be in a constant state of anxiety about it. Probably rightly, who wants to be left with nothing?! Like, that's really bad?! Especially when it would be zero to do with my actions/not my fault in any way.. It would destroy me until the situation was resolved, both times I was lucky. It would be the only thing on my mind and I would panic and cry and just be **so scared** for my future.

But I'm facing it now and.. lol, I don't care. Literally the only thing about it I seem to care about is 'Fuck, how am I gonna afford cigarettes and diet coke if things go tits up?' - and that's not a joke to do with my username - my username is what it is because I genuinely live on that stuff :P That is really the ONLY thing I am worried about. My diet coke and cigarettes. Everything else? All I can think in regards to anything else is.. 'Well, I can still keep trying to be skinny, so I don't care. I can still restrict, fast - heck, would be easier, I wont even have money to binge - so I don't care. I will always have this.'

Anyone else? It's so.. comforting, almost. To always have something that no one can take away, that's mine. Something to always fall back on.

It's like my ED is my personal safety net.

(P.S If things fuck up, donations of diet coke and cigs would be happily accepted! :P)

---

[Other] When you cheat on your diet
/u/pcrnography [5'6" | -55 lbs | nb]
Created: Sat Jul 2 01:13:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qwa20/when_you_cheat_on_your_diet/
---
https://www.instagram.com/p/BHVlyG6AvWw/

---

[Help] Are there any other subs with the same attitude as this one/where we're accepted?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 2 01:02:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qw8y6/are_there_any_other_subs_with_the_same_attitude/
---
Just wondering, I want to fill up my subscription list on this account :3

---

[Rant/Rave] Midnight munchies!
/u/wireddachrn
Created: Sat Jul 2 00:43:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qw741/midnight_munchies/
---
It's 2:30am and I'm on my lunch break chugging bottles of water. I've been very good these past few days at restricting my calories. I've even lost 2lbs. Second night at work and I'm getting some major late night munchies. We have a huge stash of Fritos and Rice Krispie Treats for the patients. The temptation is horrible.

I just keep imagining walking out of here at 8am knowing that I didn't eat any junk. I'll be so happy. Just needed to solidify my thought by writing them out.

---

[Rant/Rave] Just a little pick me up <3
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jul 2 00:34:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qw63c/just_a_little_pick_me_up_3/
---
http://i.imgur.com/BdPPH.gif

---

[Rant/Rave] not comfortable in cute clothes
/u/turnonmyrighthand [4'9 | 86lb | F]
Created: Sat Jul 2 00:23:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qw4y4/not_comfortable_in_cute_clothes/
---
i have cute skirts and shorts and leggings, they all fit me just fine, but i dont want to wear them because i dont feel like i want to showcase my body as it is in something cute, you know? id rather put on a baggy shirt and jeans to hide in and not draw attention. ugh.

i know the way i dress isnt as flattering but i dont care

---

[Discussion] Food to bring for inpatient treatment?
/u/anacondaaorta
Created: Fri Jul 1 23:45:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qw0r9/food_to_bring_for_inpatient_treatment/
---
I'm going to a general adolescent psych ward, and there's a really small amount of people (less than 10). We're allowed to make our own food (although I'm not 100% sure how it works out). My bmi is 19 right now so I'm trying to maintain. I'm going in for other issues, and I don't know if I should tell them about my ED since I'm scared they'll monitor my calories.

I'm bringing oats and maybe bananas (but I'm not sure about fresh fruit) and canned soups that are less than 300 cal. What are some things that are easy to make but not suspicious (I mostly eat only vegetables but I think that would seem odd).

Also any other tips for inpatient would be appreciated :) (sorry I'm on mobile and I can't flair)

---

[Other] Does fasting make you retain water?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 23:33:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qvzd5/does_fasting_make_you_retain_water/
---
Fasted for 2 days and my cousin just asked me why my face looks so swollen... I feel great now, thanks fam.

---

[Discussion] Do you guys think green tea is alright on a water fast?
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 23:28:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qvywc/do_you_guys_think_green_tea_is_alright_on_a_water/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qvywc/do_you_guys_think_green_tea_is_alright_on_a_water/

---

[Tip] I think I've finally found something that works for my late night binges!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 1 22:37:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qvt2m/i_think_ive_finally_found_something_that_works/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] How do you do it on vacation?
/u/SecretEDaccountOMG
Created: Fri Jul 1 21:30:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qvku2/how_do_you_do_it_on_vacation/
---
I'm strict as hell when I'm home, never go over calorie allotment, but then as soon as I head out of town for any reason all my willpower goes out the window and it's anything goes. I have trips coming up this summer and I don't want to undo my months of hard work. How do you guys stick to your plan when you're not in your typical routine?

Also this is my first post. So hi.

---

[Intro] **Intro** Time To Stop Lurking And Get Busy
/u/BrokenButNotDeadYet [5'6.5" | 207.6lbs | STG: 180| -15.0lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 21:15:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qvj14/intro_time_to_stop_lurking_and_get_busy/
---
Hi everyone! Great to be here. I'm a lifelong ED woman, and as I turned 39 yesterday in the middle of a fantastic losing streak (12 pounds down in 10 days) and of course blew everything with the leftovers I had been so careful to leave after a seafood and rice dinner with my parents. I had tons left over, and instead of throwing it away, I tossed it into my fridge. Aaaaaaaaand ate it at 7 am. So I've been in a panic attack all day. Of course food calls to food, and I STILL ate 546 cals over the course of the day. I feel like a complete failure. So interestingly enough, my very awesome and loving boyfriend (who is 1000% clueless about ED but loves reddit) suggested I get on here to look for support. He has no idea I found this board, but I am so glad I did.

A little about me, I've been in the mental health system for 9 years. Alcohol addiction, bipolar 1, borderline, lifelong ED. I've been in 12 psych hospitalizations and 3 rehabs. I replaced my ED with booze for a long time, and got huge. That combined with the meds I'm on ballooned my weight, topping out last month at 223 lbs. I hate looking at that number. That was the first time in 9 years that I knew my weight, and I started restricting the next day. I was doing pretty well until my damn parents took me to a restaurant last night. Then everything fell apart. And of course tomorrow is the 4th and I have to go to a friend's kids' birthday party (ARGH) where I'll know no one and there will be tons of food. I am legit freaking out about that.

Anyway, hi! I'm so glad to be here, and I am so scared I did something wrong in posting this and y'all will hate me for it. I hope I did it right. Better day tomorrow, it has to be, right?

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Starting my 24 hour fast. Is it a bad idea to work out?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 1 19:41:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qv6t9/starting_my_24_hour_fast_is_it_a_bad_idea_to_work/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I was being ridiculously good.
/u/allocentriclock
Created: Fri Jul 1 19:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qv1m6/i_was_being_ridiculously_good/
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It was almost a week. A whole week of no purging. Those goddamn pizza rolls have been on my mind all week.

I was so hungry when I got home from work. Sped walked home from work. At a deficit. Told myself I could eat a hard boiled egg. That would placiate me right? I've been so in control of myself.

An egg, 12 pizza rolls (semi-cold because I'm an animal who couldnt wait) and a cheese stick, in the toilet. And also partly inside me. I'm so glad we barely have any food that I could binge more on without it looking suspicious.

I wish I never started this. Tomorrow is another day. I have to fight this. My life is getting so much better in other aspects of my life. Just got a new, great place with my boyfriend who I love to death. Just have to stop this. It's so tiring.

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[Rant/Rave] NSV - The "goal" dress
/u/oksneaky [63in | CW: 125.8| -13.2 | GW:UNDER 120 BY 9/15 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 19:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qv16j/nsv_the_goal_dress/
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I was shopping earlier today and found this adorable Jessica Simpson dress that was in a size 3. I just knew it wouldn't fit me right now, but since my goal is in reach and I will stop at nothing to get there I decided to buy it. I got home, saw it in the bag and tried it on to see how far I had to go... AND IT FIT! The scale is totally a downer to me lately because I feel so much progress but it just barely budges. But the dress fit! Zipped and clipped and all. I could wear it right now, but I want to wait until it doesn't quite squeeze as much on my back and sits more loosely. BUT IT FIT!!!! I have a bikini hanging in my kitchen (yes I hang clothes in my kitchen to remind me haha) for a party I'm going to in a few weeks that I have been scared to look at until I see the scale show what I want, but now I feel like I might go ahead and give it a shot next week.

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[Help] Binging like crazy
/u/plantbasedgoddess
Created: Fri Jul 1 18:26:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4quwkz/binging_like_crazy/
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I've been on vacation for 3 weeks but have also been binging every single day the whole time. I can definitely see a gut forming and I'm terrified about stepping on a scale. Once I get home (next Tuesday) I will go back to eating less than 1000cals

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[Rant/Rave] Well alrighty then.
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 1 17:27:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qunvg/well_alrighty_then/
---
Just confirmed that my boyfriend **OF SIX FUCKING YEARS** has basically cheated on me for the majority of our relationship...I always had my suspicions, but when I confronted him the last two times, he hadn't let it move out of just talking online to multiple other women (all of whom were hideous fatties, like I gagged looking at them, and couldn't understand the attraction. I'm at my biggest ever - which I partly blame him for since he has enabled my shitty eating - and I'm still skinny compared to these women). But today I looked through his texts on his iPad, which he stupidly unlocked in front of me last night, so I know his (new) password, because I've suspected him of talking to other women behind my back since he's always super shady about his phone. And I saw confirmation that he had met up with and had sex with at least one other woman recently. In fact, he tried to figure out how to plan to meet up with her while I had a HUGE opera performance, and my mother was staying with us for the weekend. He didn't end up being able to finagle that one, but he certainly had at least four "dates" with her, and she confirmed it. She said she broke it off when she put two and two together that he was being shady as hell and probably had a gf (oh hey, he did, but not anymore)...about four months ago. Which would have been shortly after I broke my ankle. He told her his "roommate had borrowed his car" (which, btw is my car, which I have generously allowed him to use to get to and from work) and that his "roommate was being super lazy and staying home all day. Which would have been when I was completely non-weight-bearing for two months and basically bedridden because I couldn't fucking walk. I also found proof that he has accounts on at least five dating sites, and regularly posts and responds to ads on Craigslists's personal encounters. So I packed him two bags. When he gets home, I will make him give me back my keys, hand him his bags, and kick his sorry ass to the curb. I'm fucking done. And this will be the best motivation ever to get back on track to my UGW. Bonus: I no longer need to deal with his constant negativity, criticism of everything I do, and slightly racist rants. #winningthisbreakup

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[Thinspo] I wish I'd read this earlier today
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Fri Jul 1 16:52:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qui9u/i_wish_id_read_this_earlier_today/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/c0380cb884d04af58f19efafce26ee26?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=69d94962189e06659abeea2b25c4795b

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[Help] [Help] Male currently only eating a meal a day, wondering about running.
/u/JonahCip
Created: Fri Jul 1 16:30:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4queta/help_male_currently_only_eating_a_meal_a_day/
---
Hey all, I'm Jonah.
I've not had particularly even eating habits the past three years, my most consistent period of eating very little was about a year and a half ago, when I was only eating a piece of fruit or a small chicken sandwich a day. ( I don't wanna say unhealthy eating habits, because I feel like that kind of language might not be appropriate here? First post, so I apologize for anything I say outside of the proper vernacular here).
I've gone back to similar eating habits in the past few weeks, usually only having one meal a day, at about eleven AM (consisting of a bowl of o's with some chopped fruit on top). I'm comfortable with this habit, I take vitamins, drink lots of water, and chew ice. At times I'll have some fruit or crackers or a similar snack during the day when I cant focus. I also smoke about a pack a month and use an ecig, which helps with appetite.
The problem that's coming up, is that as an 18 year old living under my parents roof, I kinda have to do what they say in order to have a comfortable life, and right now my dad is having me run.
My ask for help here is, how should I change what I eat, if at all in order to be able to run? Should I include more protein in my diet? I'm really not looking to eat any more, I just don't want to disappoint my father by being too malnourished to keep up. I already can do about 2 miles in 20 minutes in case that helps. I'm 5'10, weighing about 140 pounds. I currently suffer from PTSD, which is being treated by therapy and medication if that factors into anything as well.
Thank you for reading, and for any possible advice you could give.

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[Rant/Rave] Oh my god kill me
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Fri Jul 1 16:10:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qubtd/oh_my_god_kill_me/
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One of the kids I'm watching just put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and I swear to god I'm going insane. I ate 500 calories for breakfast (which is huge for me first thing in the morning) so that I could fast all day but then I ate 150 for lunch because, well, I'm weak.

So now I'm sitting here about to flip shit over a bag of popcorn.

IT SMELLS SO GOOD UGH

UPDATE: IM FREE!!! And I didn't have a single piece of popcorn. Hell to the yeah

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[Help] My maintaining idea... will this work? any input would be cool!
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Fri Jul 1 15:56:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qu9mu/my_maintaining_idea_will_this_work_any_input/
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so im nearing my UGW, 105. Atleast i think it will be. Ive been inspired by certain people here that maintain, but it seems kinda complicated... heres my idea. Now tell me if im crazy.

so im at 105, right? eating about 800-1k a day. I will obviously slowly lose still so... i wake up. Scale says 103 OKAY today i can have a whole bag of chips! / sushi/ whatever .perfect. Id gain back up to 105... back to eating 800-1000 . week later ( or whatever) rinse and repeat?

Am i ridiculous?

Is this sustainable?

halp me.

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[Rant/Rave] ALMOST made it through my office's food day..
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 1 15:26:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qu4lz/almost_made_it_through_my_offices_food_day/
---
Had two big salads (spring mix, tomato, cucumber, no dressing) and I felt really satisfied.

But nope, 20 minutes left of my work day and BINGE BINGE BINGE

Teriyaki noodles, a roll, A FUCKING DONUT, 2 chips (lol might as well of ate the whole bag) and a piece of angel food cake with strawberries and whip cream.

Like what the fuck. I have done soooo good. That's probably more than I've eaten in a week in one fucking sitting.

I'm not ONE HUNDRED PERCENT sure I ate over maintenance.. but I feel like I did. And I'm going to the lake over the weekend because of the US holiday. YAY TO BLOATING

Just super disappointing.. but before this, I took 13 laxatives, so at least I have that to look forward to.. lol

---

[Goal] I did another 24h fast!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Jul 1 14:30:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qtv4t/i_did_another_24h_fast/
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Yay, thanks to my hairdresser who took 5h!!!! to dye my hair, fuck it all up, have it falling out.

Oh, but I didn't binge! I'm crying in bed now tho, I'm proud of that. I'm so weird.

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[Help] Recovering from recovery : tips?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 1 14:18:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qtt0x/recovering_from_recovery_tips/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I just found out my wedding ceremony is probably ruined and I didn't cope well
/u/CosmetologistToBe [5' 7" | 116 lbs | 18.17 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 12:48:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qtcpa/i_just_found_out_my_wedding_ceremony_is_probably/
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I paid 150 to get my dress done two weeks before our ceremony in a rush order. She just told me today that I was in a line and that I'd probably receive it late.

I'm devastated. I ate a ton of chips and chocolate covered caramel and I feel fat and disgusting. Even if I get my dress how am I supposed to fit?

I'm probably going to end up purging here at work and then run for a few hours tonight.

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[Goal] I had a scale dream.
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 11:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qt1tk/i_had_a_scale_dream/
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You ever have one of those? You're standing in front of a scale, angsting over what the number will be? Well, my number was 84.915 (very specific, I know).

So I think I'll be aiming for that. I binged for three days this week, so I'm going to fast today til Sunday. My ugw keeps changing and I'm not sure if I should be worried, but tbh, I'm not stressing it. I'm sure I'll still look fat at 85lbs.

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[Rant/Rave] My body takes revenge the day after a binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 1 11:11:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qsu8b/my_body_takes_revenge_the_day_after_a_binge/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Jealous of ed sister?
/u/poisonandvenom
Created: Fri Jul 1 10:50:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qsqhw/jealous_of_ed_sister/
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I'm a horrible human being.

I've been caught in this horrible, destructive cycle of restrict, binge, restrict, binge for sooo long and I'm 100% certain my parents know I'm a wreck when it comes to self esteem and body image. I injured myself and lost all of my friends in a single day in February, and gained about a stone in weight over the past few months. or so. Now I'm struggling to lose it, never mind get back to aiming for my goal weight.

I'm on vacation with my family and I binged at dinner today. I'd say 2000, 3000 calories of meat and junk food and fries. Not proud of it. In fact, I'm sitting in my room now hating myself because they're serving dessert and I'm struggling to stop myself going out there.

And I'm also horrifically, awfully of my younger sister. I think she has an ed too. I've thought this for a while - she eats *very* little and is "sick" with the flu a lot so she throws up a good bit, and she's like a stick figure. And today, she ate about 200c total the entire day and then made an excuse to go for a walk - while I'm sitting here, stuffing my face and unable to exercise.

I'm so jealous, I even pulled my mother aside to mention my concern. I feel like if I keep feeling this, I might even try to sabotage her or something. This disorder makes me a completely awful, hateful monster - hence my loss in friends - and I don't know what to do. I'm so jealous of everyone, there's a girl in my glass who is 5 inches taller than me and about fifty pounds lighter and I find it hard to even chat to her anymore without being mean. I don't want this to affect my family now.

Advice??

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[Tip] #1 Fasting Tip
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 10:45:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qspfw/1_fasting_tip/
---
Spend all day in bed with a boy (or girl)

AWWWW YEAH

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[Goal] I got my body fat measured today.
/u/kyunga [5'5.5 | 99.4 | 16.42 | femme]
Created: Fri Jul 1 10:42:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qsowc/i_got_my_body_fat_measured_today/
---
https://imgur.com/mirGXfB

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[Discussion] [serious] How to handle your ED without being disrespectful or picky with other people?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 10:38:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qso87/serious_how_to_handle_your_ed_without_being/
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I feel like it's my business and I don't need to offer an explanation to other people to why I'm not eating. But since I'm already here, it's because I went through a scary situation with a boy who started harassing me and pursuing me when I was not ready for a relationship. When he got what he wanted out of me (not necessarily a relationship), I started feeling anxious and I stopped eating because I was ashamed of my body after that point.

For me, I rather not interact with or buy food rather than take the food and then throw it away or waste it. Purging is no fun to me, I rather restrict.
If I was alone, I could go with black coffee and lettuce or kale all day.

In the last couple of days I've been eating way too much than usual because of work parties and hanging out and then eating out friends.

Current situations:

* Yesterday I helped a girlfriend move her stuff into her new place, and she offered to take me to a bakery to get some macaroons. I declined, but she insisted. I told her that she should choose what she wanted and that I ate beforehand, but she thought I was just being picky with the desserts.

* I was hanging out with a friend and she was hungry, we went for mexican food. I don't mind mexican food but the portions were so big and only ate 20% of it, I was conflicted with throwing it away or taking it home with me. I knew I would just binge on it if I took it home, but I don't feel comfortable throwing away food, that's just how I was raised up.

* My supervisor is this sweet little lady. She always offers me breakfast from a local cafe and the other day she gave me this Russian pancake thing. I was planning my fast that day but she really thought I would enjoy it and was hoping I would really like it. I know she's just being nice but I really did not want eat it (not because it didn't look good, but I was fasting)

* One time I went on a date with this guy and he insisted we get dinner. When we got to the restaurant, I knew getting a small salad would just make me look like I didn't like any of the food. I asked him if we could get everything to go, and just eat his place, and that I didn't want anything. He kept asking and asking what I wanted, and I said nothing, I'd rather watch him eat (as a joke). I could tell he was annoyed after all my effort to be bubbly and nice.

Also, when I do recover, I want to start dating again with someone who love me for me and will let me have my ED. I'm so jealous of those girls who have supportive boyfriends. I just feel like I don't like food as much as I used to. The way I see it is that if someone doesn't like romantic movies, why would you waste all your time and energy to go to the theater, pay for the ticket, and be miserable. I see food as an energy source and I can only see it as that now.

Maybe this is rant, idk. But I don't want to appear bitchy. It's just that everyone I know centers everything around food. And for dates, usually people go out for food. Coffee dates are a bit too intimate for me while restaurant dates are way to awkward for me because of how public everything is.

I currently go to college in a beautiful part of California, and I would rather do some of outdoor activity, go for a walk, go surfing, do something that doesn't involve food. I feel like people think that's too intimate when I think it's the perfect way to get to know someone.

Ugh, I'm a mess. I just need help without being mean to anyone. Any advice is appreciated.

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[Goal] I forgot how powerful it feels to cook a full, gorgeous meal for someone else
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 10:28:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qsmgi/i_forgot_how_powerful_it_feels_to_cook_a_full/
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And not eat a single bite of it. My black coffee and funny stories distracted. And here I sit clean :):):) I feel on top of the world.

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[Other] Inspiration from the weirdest place!
/u/mybfdoesntknowthis [5'3 | 140 | 25.49 | -16 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 10:20:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qsl1n/inspiration_from_the_weirdest_place/
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So my mom's boyfriend has been hanging around us for nearly six years, but I just noticed the other day how much he actually doesn't really eat, and how small he is. I mean he's like 6 feet tall so he's huge, but he's so skinny because most of his meals are just veggies. No bacon, no oils, nothing. Plain veggies.

Yesterday, I was talking to my mom and she told me he bought himself a bag of chips for his birthday, and he's looking forward to eating *one* chip every day until they either go stale or he runs out. He's absolutely my inspo now, he has such amazing self control! I've already begged my mom to let me eat like him for a week since she kind of forces me to eat every now and then.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 1 10:02:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qshnr/daily_food_diary_july_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for July 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] Any other Americans annoyed you're going to be expected to eat on July 4th?
/u/FasterFasting [5' 6" | 168 | BMI | M]
Created: Fri Jul 1 09:36:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qscsx/any_other_americans_annoyed_youre_going_to_be/
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I'm almost 84 hours into a fast and I really want to stretch it to 7 full days because the longest I'd made it before is 5. Don't think I should have a problem making it to Monday but I'll be visiting family then that I won't see again for another 6 months - a year so I'll need to be social and probably end up breaking my fast at 6.5 days. Anybody else already slightly annoyed at the holiday?

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[Rant/Rave] I'm not even happy about this SV
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Fri Jul 1 08:17:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qryds/im_not_even_happy_about_this_sv/
---
I weighed in at 149.8 which is freaking awesome. I haven't been below 150 since before Christmas. I should be happy...

I've been stress restricting like hell. This number isn't about my willpower or control, it's another sign of my life falling apart before me. I got caught shoplifting (makeup, gummy vitamins,workout clothes, all shit because I couldn't stand my weight any longer) and because of my state anything over $200 is a felony.

A FUCKING FELONY! Right before I go back to school too. I've never been in trouble before, so it's probable that this will get dropped to a misdemeanor and essentially everything will be fine.

And this is really the tinie tinyiet detail that is entirely inconsequential, but you guys will understand how upsetting this was. One of the cops estimated my weight at 170! I was only 155 at the time. 170! 170! 170! Then my boyfriend saw the paperwork and yelled at me for weighing a full 30 pounds more than him.

Fuck.

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[Rant/Rave] I am not doing very well at recovery.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 07:44:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qrsrj/i_am_not_doing_very_well_at_recovery/
---
I have been doing alright at eating 1200-1500 calories every day. But last weekend I binged 4 days in a row because my boyfriend encouraged it so much, and then I binged yesterday, and I set myself back 5 fucking weeks if I'm losing weight healthily. Fuck that. I'm heavily restricting two days every week now. And I'm heavily restricting the next three days to offset this quickly because 1. I know I can do just 3 days, and 2. I can't stand how one binge day erases a whole week of progress. I will eat more for recovery, but I will NEVER gain weight for recovery. And so I guess I'm going to stay in this limbo between full disorder and full recovery. Because fuck.

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[Discussion] Had my first dream of eating!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 1 07:37:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qrrqk/had_my_first_dream_of_eating/
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EDIT: "First" that I remember, at least.

So, I was dreaming of eating peach cobbler (or at least putting it in my mouth) and then I half way woke up, thinking it was real, and spit on my mattress trying to get it out of my mouth.. ew. I just put my pillow over it and went back to bed... lmao

I think this subconsciously came from a post I read on here yesterday of someone learning how to C/S with peach cobbler.

Does anyone else have eating dreams and feel guilty even after they wake up? Or maybe freak out while they're only half-awake? Or maybe the opposite? Maybe you like food dreams, because it's bingeing without actually eating? lol

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[Other] r/proED Chatzy!
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 06:58:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qrlk3/rproed_chatzy/
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Hey y'all! I created a Chatzy room for us to chat in real time! I think it's super useful if people are fasting and need someone to talk to to pass time or if you're just super bored. We can all chat about anything and everything, ED related or not :) PM me if you want the link and I'll send it over to ya!

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[Other] (almost) visible bones...i'm actually kind of happy with my progress right now!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jul 1 06:31:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qrhmd/almost_visible_bonesim_actually_kind_of_happy/
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http://i.imgur.com/CRH36pK.jpg

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[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! July 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jul 1 06:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qrdir/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_july_01_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for July 01, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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Costco horror (humor/story)
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Fri Jul 1 05:59:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qrd22/costco_horror_humorstory/
---
I shop at Costco for my family for the great deals (kind of addicted to bargain hunting) and I usually go at night so I've never been there when they have free samples all around, until yesterday. My bf and I went together and he has some knowledge of my ED, but only so far as to know that eating certain foods makes me feel guilty and horrible due to childhood issues with learned bad food habits and body image stuff, and that I forget to eat at times. He's supportive and though he encourages me to eat he agrees with a lot of my preferences. Like we try to eat keto most of the time. That's relevant.. so

Anyway.

We were walking around and suddenly I realize there are stands everywhere with mini cups of delicious snacks and I'm slightly horrified because I want to try some of them but at the same time I'm kind of excited because they are truly just a bite or two in the cup so I know there will be a low risk of truly binging. We pass a bratwurst lady and he knows I'm weak to brats and suggests I have a taste. I know he knows I haven't eaten all day so I try it without protest and it's super tasty of course. Then I tried something that was trying to be berry pie (was awful and I spit it back into the cup before tossing it) and we continued walking as I joked about how that could not have been a serious attempt at pie. Finally we pass a lady handing out "cheese crisps" and he says you have to try these, it's cheese. And so I take a cup and GOOD LORD THEY ARE DELICIOUS. I tell him, "omg put this in your mouth, it's like when you put cheddar cheese on a plate and microwave it till its hard and bubbly and then peel it off and eat it! ....not that I...do that...anymore...." suddenly realizing the gross thing I've confessed to doing with horror. And he just starts busting up laughing and says yeah of course us grown ups don't do stuff like that *anymore* and smiles at me. I start laughing out of relief and say, "we are *not* buying these they are too delicious and binge worthy" and he just agreed with me and laughed some more. I felt so safe and accepted at that moment. He's awesome.

Just wanted to share my little moment of weirdness & normalcy with you guys. Sometimes opening up a little to the right person can be a wonderful thing. Hope you're all finding reasons to smile when you can ♡♡ love you all.

---

[Help] How to get flat stomach?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 1 05:46:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qrbch/how_to_get_flat_stomach/
---
Even when I was thin I had a belly pooch. I am worried after my body fat percentage drops Ill still have fat on my stomach... how can I get rid of it? Non surgical please

---

[Thinspo] She's been my thinspiration forever now - Sav Montano
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 165.2 | 25.9 | -23.2]
Created: Fri Jul 1 04:43:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qr3uo/shes_been_my_thinspiration_forever_now_sav_montano/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3tst5__GS0

---

[Discussion] What does your shopping list look like?
/u/russianfrank
Created: Fri Jul 1 03:00:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qqt27/what_does_your_shopping_list_look_like/
---
When you do end up going shopping, what do you buy? I want to start separateing my food from my SO's, but I'm not really sure what things I should get? What do your meals look like?

I live in Australia, so I won't be able to find everything, but I'll try. I'm just sick and tired of eating junk, but I need a push in the right direction 💜

---

[Discussion] the more weight i loose- the more fat goes to my stomach
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Fri Jul 1 02:40:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qqqy7/the_more_weight_i_loose_the_more_fat_goes_to_my/
---
idk what it is but like im losing weight but my stomach is getting bigger... has anyone else experienced this?

---

[Discussion] I'm Back!
/u/skinnylove73 [5'10 | 126 | 17.63 | -14 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 23:33:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qq584/im_back/
---
Hello Lovelies!

I have been on a bit of a hiatus and haven't really been following my routine as strictly as I would've like to. I am very happy that I have maintained without much work but I am ready to start losing again and happy to be conversing with you lovely people again!

---

[Discussion] So what does "recovery" really mean?
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 23:04:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qq1km/so_what_does_recovery_really_mean/
---
When I say I want to recover, I mean that I would like to stop losing at a skinny, but hopefully semi-healthy, weight and maintain. Essentially, what /u/Glitter_Cunt has done is what I consider "recovery." If I'm not actively starving, binging, or purging, it's recovery.

Yet, when non-ED people say recovery they usually mean to gain weight! Like that stupid Maudsley's plain poor /u/palmtree808 is on. It's all about indiscriminately gaining weight to hit a certain number which is magically "recovery."

That's not what I want. I want to recover, yeah, I want to be a low, gorgeous weight and stay there with a simple plan for maintenance that is low-stress and won't cause damage to my body.

Why can't that be what recovery means to the whole world? Skinny, but not dying. Is that too much to ask for?

---

[Help] Haven't even really started my relapse and bf is already suspicious
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Thu Jun 30 22:21:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qpvyu/havent_even_really_started_my_relapse_and_bf_is/
---
Any suggestions for making my bf get the hell off my back? I recently started b/p again, pretty much daily (used to be at least three times a day, if not more, so this isn't even really anything), but mostly just purging regularly after meals because I start feeling really sick if I'm even remotely full, so I purge and then feel way better. But my bf (we live together, and have for the past few years...and he's known me/been with me for 6.5 years, so he knows all about my history with bulimia and my recovery and such) keeps thinking it's suspicious that I've been feeling sick so often lately, or throwing up (I just tell him it's the new vitamins I started, but that excuse doesn't really hold up past week two). Any ideas on how to keep him off my back/from getting suspicious, or on masking any purging noises in a not suspect way? All advice appreciated. Thank you so much!

---

[Rant/Rave] Currently at McDonald's
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: 2fat4me | GW: 121 | UGW: 108 | F22]
Created: Thu Jun 30 22:12:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qpusq/currently_at_mcdonalds/
---
And I'm not tempted to eat at all! My boyfriend and I ordered so much food... and I barely took a few bites other than two cones (300 cal) after eating *maybe* barely 300 calories today. But the thing is, I didn't want to eat the cones or any food today, it's like I had to force myself to eat at all (only ate because it's been like 90 degrees and I don't want to feel too faint when I'm outside).

I'm so happy, because I used to be like this all the time, and now I'm finally back! I know now that I'm mentally back in the zone and I can efforessly restrict again and only eat what I absolutely need!

---

Anyone want to look like they have an ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 21:59:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qpsur/anyone_want_to_look_like_they_have_an_ed/
---
[deleted]

---

How I feel when I'm trying to control a binge
/u/jellybellly
Created: Thu Jun 30 21:14:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qpmj2/how_i_feel_when_im_trying_to_control_a_binge/
---
https://youtu.be/MhaahQqQtMc

---

[Rant/Rave] Binged on Indian food. Oops.
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 20:14:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qpdle/binged_on_indian_food_oops/
---
So I'm leaving tomorrow for Chicago to pick up my boyfriend from the airport. We will be in the U.S. a total of two more weeks before leaving for Israel and I know my parents are feeling depressed that I am going. I don't know when I will be able to spend time with them again and tonight my mom suggested we go out for Indian food (Which is my FAVORITE). I decided that I would let it slide tonight and enjoy my time together with my parents since soon I won't be able to spend time with them like this. Well... we started with veggie samosas, which were bomb. Then I decided to get the paneer tikka masala and tried to go light on the rice and nann. Then my mom suggests we get kheer for dessert because it's really great at this place. I just let it go and I think I probably consumed close to 1,000 calories on just this meal! Thank god I had the insight to restrict properly in the morning, so right now I'm still sitting under maintenance. I will probably try to get some treadmill time in tonight to burn off a few more calories before bed. But you know, maybe it was worth it for tonight. I had fun hanging with my parents and it was so delicious. I'm not going to get too worked up over it. Tomorrow is a new day :)

---

[Rant/Rave] The troubles a haircut brings
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Thu Jun 30 19:16:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qp4yp/the_troubles_a_haircut_brings/
---
I'm prepping to go platinum in a month and got all the dead ends cut to prep. My hair straightened hit my elbows. It is now flippy and at my shoulders and I want to cry. I feel like if I were a waif I'd pull off any cut. Now I feel aged and sad because it's going to be 2 years til I get my left gth back at least. Where is my hair?! If my collar bones were popping out maybe I wouldn't care. Starting after this dinner I have to meet my friend for I am fasting under 500 minus social outings to get to an acceptable 15 lbs under this. I don't want to look over 30. I liked getting carded for cigarettes dggrfcfjhfdfhhu!

---

[Help] My brain is telling me to binge and start fresh tomorrow on July 1st. Talk me out of it!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 17:50:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qoryl/my_brain_is_telling_me_to_binge_and_start_fresh/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] If any of you keep ice cream in the house...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 17:41:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qoqku/if_any_of_you_keep_ice_cream_in_the_house/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Mood swings
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 17:36:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qopq6/mood_swings/
---
I feel like an emotional wreck, I know part of it is girl time but jeez I snap at the stupidest things. I'm thinking it's the cutting of carbs, sugars and restricting to one meal a day and a 600 calorie max a day.


Anyone know how to help me just breathe it out, relax and take life a bit less serious?

I don't want to be and feel angry all the time 😣

---

[Other] trying my first fast!
/u/chaconnes [5'3" | :( | GW: 105lb | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 17:15:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qomcf/trying_my_first_fast/
---
so, i'm staying with three other people in a house for this summer during my internship, and for this fourth of july weekend, they're going to be out of the house saturday - tuesday (we get mon/tues off) visiting another city. i'm not going because that's the city i attend university in, which means i get the entire house to myself! since i don't have to attend work, i can stay in the house all day, which is the perfect set-up to try a multi-day fast (while marathoning the most recent season of game of thrones wootwoot). just wanted to see if you guys had any advice / wanted to join me! we can set up a chat group somewhere :) cheers!

---

[Rant/Rave] Story of my life:
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 16:48:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qoi01/story_of_my_life/
---
BRB gotta go to the bathroom *removes all clothes, steps on scale 45826 times, and stares into the mirror like satan, and cries, minimally.

---

[Discussion] What is your own 'twist' on your ED?
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 16:34:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qofeh/what_is_your_own_twist_on_your_ed/
---
Like something that isn't in the symptom list?

---

[Other] Does anyone else imagine AutoModerator as a real person?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 15:52:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qo8dr/does_anyone_else_imagine_automoderator_as_a_real/
---
Or is it just me? I see someone [coolly androgynous](http://imgur.com/ox8J1T1), maybe 5'7, 100 lbs exactly and not an ounce more.

---

[Discussion] Even if I reach my UGW, I'll hate my body.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jun 30 15:34:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qo58a/even_if_i_reach_my_ugw_ill_hate_my_body/
---
This is embarrassing, and my biggest insecurity, but I grow coarse, random hairs under my belly button (so like a happy trail on guys?) I'm not super hairy or anything. This is the only abnormal hairgrowth I have, and I have had since puberty.

I tweeze them, which causes ingrowns and rashes/inflammed skin. Growing them out and bleaching isn't an option because of how thick they are..

Even though I somewhat like the look of my tummy right now, I can never wear a bikini because of these damn hairs...

Does anyone have insecurities that losing weight won't help fix?

EDIT: oh yeah, and my acne.. that kind of sucks too. But at least coverable with makeup for the most part

---

[Help] Lost period??
/u/thindreaming [5'8.5 | HW 170 | CW 153 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 15:07:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qo0jv/lost_period/
---
Like the title says... I've lost my period for almost the third month now. I've been on birth control for about 6 years and I took a pregnancy test at home after the first month of no period and it was negative.

I've lost my period a couple times in the past - once for 9 months when I got down to 115 and once for about 3 months when I was 135 (so both times after some weight loss). I've lost about 5lbs in the last couple weeks but I didn't think that was really significant enough.

The only thing I can think of is I've been using an EC stack the last couple months, although lately I have just been taking 1 pill in the morning with coffee and that's it. I'll regularly take breaks on the weekends and I try to wait about a month in between buying new boxes.

I was just wondering if anyone has had some experience like this?

---

[Help] Will I have to suck in for the rest of my life?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 14:24:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qnswu/will_i_have_to_suck_in_for_the_rest_of_my_life/
---
I'm a small breasted chick and the slightest amount of food makes me look pregnant! It fucking sucks. I feel sad and discouraged that all of you guys look fabulous and I just have to suck in if I'm in that horrid situation of having to wear a bikini 😭 and bikinis always make My tits look even smaller. My little bloat makes more sense when I'm fully naked, but in most places that's probably illegal and my boyfriend would not like that lmao. Fuck stomachs am I right???? Also I have one child, so maybe that causes permanent bloat even at 109 lbs

---

[Tip] Lunch! Zucchini is the best food. (135 calories)
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 14:05:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qnpan/lunch_zucchini_is_the_best_food_135_calories/
---
http://imgur.com/2xk4NXy

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[Discussion] What's the weirdest thing you've ever binged on?
/u/rachelcoiling [5'5" | 148 | 24.74 | -61 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 13:27:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qni7d/whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_ever_binged_on/
---
I try to keep my pantry and fridge completely clear of binge food, so if I ever do end up in a binge, it's the most random things, like:

1. an entire box of croutons
2. a package of shredded cheese mixed with salsa
3. cold canned peas mixed with bread crumbs and soy sauce

Does this happen to you?

---

[Other] DIY Fake Food Kits- Youtube videos [distracting]
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 12:36:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qn8ml/diy_fake_food_kits_youtube_videos_distracting/
---
There is this brand based in japan called Sample n' Cooking that makes these DIY fake food kits. You can basically make realistic food dishes.

I love watching the videos because its food, but its fake, Can't really crave plastic now can we?

Only downfall is the brand is only sold in Japan :( I haven't found any makers who ship worldwide, and the kits on ebay are for like $35 while it retails for $17-19. Ugh. (So if anyone in japan wants to hook a lady up let me know lol)

Links:

[DIY Ramen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfk9QdTi0T8)

[DIY Parfait](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sm38AT6wxo)

[Dandan noodles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWRyEpQVb8E)

[Spaghetti](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydJc6N0xxbw)

[Shaved ice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsX3IjYrcF4)

[Fried Rice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Erj3wTVj5dE)

[Soba](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DhbyI7Jc-M)

[Curry rice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYDMnrgKMjU)

[The Full playlist of kits](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCzh6q-3DV7lCeboCrq-rqwf2AnqiyK2g)

Enjoy! But dont eat!

---

[Tip] My fasting philosophy when things get tough
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 12:15:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qn4pk/my_fasting_philosophy_when_things_get_tough/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/2c7525ae0a65400194a89a1879aeb9b9?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=14a343b30a7531b380e94f26b5f21f99

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[Help] Weed, Caffeine + Ephedrine?
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 89 lbs | 19.21 | -51| F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 12:13:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qn491/weed_caffeine_ephedrine/
---
I'm thinking starting EC stacks but I'm afraid it might react badly when I smoke weed. I don't want my heart to freak out or anything so I was wondering if anyone here has had/has any experience or advice on mixing these. Thanks!

---

[Rant/Rave] Who the Fuck does She think she is?! [Rant]
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 12:12:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qn40y/who_the_fuck_does_she_think_she_is_rant/
---
Sorry for the no flair, on my phone.

So there is this girl I was best friends with when we were kids. We spend all Summer's together and we were inseparable. She was a bit chubby then, in no way fat, but a bit of a chubby kid. I was a twig, and I know she was a bit jealous about that, but we were kids and I really never reflected on it, she was my best friends! Over the years we lost contact (didn't live in the same city), but like two years ago I found her in FB! Yay! I got one of my favorite of all times back, awesome! We chatted a bit online then she took her profile down from FB :(

I found her again yesterday (yay I thought) friend requested her and....she blocks me?!?! Without any words or anything!
Yeah she's gotten thinner and have always had a pretty face, but now she's better then me???? Our time together means nothing??? :( :( :(

I Got motivated as hell when she blocked me! She's to pretty for me now? She's to thin to be friends with me on FB? FUCK YOU! You felt "fat" before? I will make you feel so inferior! I'll be that thin, gorgeous bitch the you want me to be! Then you can screw your self!

Sorry for the aggressive post, it's really not like me....this just made me sad beyond words....I'm gonna go drink some wine and cry now....sorry

---

My fasting philosophy when things get tough
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 12:05:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qn2uu/my_fasting_philosophy_when_things_get_tough/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/1bf6524305344fa697492909c4a8983c?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c35a8857e6f34438e1896f9ac50bf569

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[Goal] I think I finally did it guys :)
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jun 30 12:02:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qn28r/i_think_i_finally_did_it_guys/
---
I think I'm finally at a place where I can successfully restrict and not give into temptation.

I watched my boyfriend eat Taco Bell with no issues. Said no to chocolate when I was starving/about to pass out. And now I am able to look at food porn of pizza and all this other bullshit and feel nothing. Not even a "that looks good" from my brain.

I really wonder what clicked. Or, whats going so wrong in my head that I can finally do this?

Lol, either way. Pretty excited right now.

Anyone else have this moment? Where hunger cues are starting to diminish?

---

[Help] Multivitamin Recommendations?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 11:53:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qn0jv/multivitamin_recommendations/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] Juice, refresher, tea, broth, coffee = 125 calories of a mad filling breakfast
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 11:44:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmyri/juice_refresher_tea_broth_coffee_125_calories_of/
---
http://imgur.com/IlpNIN2

---

[Discussion] ProEd, Im making a wesbite and need your help! Lend me your recipes, favorite brands, and answer a few questions please!
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 11:39:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmxol/proed_im_making_a_wesbite_and_need_your_help_lend/
---
First off, thank you for taking the time. I got a lot of great feedback on my post about building a website and have a good idea of what I want included. I'm going to start building the site, it will probably take a few weeks. I'd like to have some things set up going into it.

So...

1. Please post your favorite recipes or store-bought food brands (calorie counts are nice, if you have them!)

2. Post your best 'tip' It can be about anything, food, mental health, etc.

3. Please list the different regions of the world you'd like to have featured for 'food finds'. Not everyone is located in the US and Europe, but I'm pretty clueless about ethnic foods that are also healthy. If you are from somewhere other than the US I could really use input on what you eat, what food you buy, what resturants you enjoy, etc.

4. I plan on creating some printable sheets for things like grocery lists, body measurements, etc. If you'd like to see a chart for something specific let me know

5. Anything else you want to add

-If you would like credit for your input please send me a PM

---

[Help] How to get bloodwork/labs without going through PCP?
/u/Vegan_mermaid [5'2 | 93.0 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 11:32:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmwko/how_to_get_bloodworklabs_without_going_through_pcp/
---
Not ready to recover yet, but I want to get bloodwork/labs. My primary care doctor sucks and never has any appointments open.

Does anyone know if I can go to, say, a walk-in clinic and ask them to order labs/etc to make sure I'm not in critically bad shape? I do have health insurance but where I live your labs have to be ordered by a doctor or nurse practitioner or physician assistant. I'm (waaaaaaaaay) over 18 so it's not like parents finding out is a concern.

I'll probably cross-post this a few places.

---

[Help] They wouldn't sell me Bronkaid!
/u/bonedust_pale [5'|GW 95|-50.5|F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 11:22:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmv4k/they_wouldnt_sell_me_bronkaid/
---
I'm running out, almost at the end of my current supply. I bought it twice before at the same store, but when I went the last time they said they could not sell it to me due to a "system error"...but I was still able to pay for my other meds.

I right away stayed to freaked out in my head. They're onto me. This is illegal. They know. I'll never be able to buy it again. What do I do.

So I'm afraid to go again and try. Has this happened to anyone else? What do I do? Ty.
P.S. mobile sorry.

---

Boyfriend gifts me with food/beer :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 11:01:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmr3m/boyfriend_gifts_me_with_foodbeer/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Afraid of Camping Trip with Fam
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Thu Jun 30 10:55:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmpxz/afraid_of_camping_trip_with_fam/
---
In 2 weeks I'm going on a camping trip with my family who I haven't seen in a while and who don't know about my ED at all. I'm actually dreading it and am terrified because they're all food people that just eat so much and so casually. My two options are either: eat like them and with them, which is scary and I'll probably actually freak out, or eat a "normal" amount for me (I plan to eat about 900 a day, usually don't end up with quite that much) and have them be worried and on my case the whole time.

I almost just don't want to go. Ugh.

---

[Goal] Still miserable, but baby thigh gap peeking through
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 151 | 23.6 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 10:43:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmno3/still_miserable_but_baby_thigh_gap_peeking_through/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/4f234bd929f54431b1303bbe9b6b9a18?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=411db805a78a0c03fa2beab1b13f1898

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[Intro] [Intro] Not entirely new, but looking for acceptance
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 10:33:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmlrx/intro_not_entirely_new_but_looking_for_acceptance/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] rant : today is the last day i will ever binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 10:30:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmlaz/rant_today_is_the_last_day_i_will_ever_binge/
---
i've used up every last binge food in the house. as of tomorrow (july 1st) i'm going to be heavily restricting to 500 or under a day for 100 days to see how much weight i can lose. i'm done being a fatass.

i've set up everything i need to, i'll be shopping tomorrow for safe foods, i have a huge list of distractions lined up and after the first 10 days i'll start taking long walks to burn as much as possible. wish me luck guys

---

[Tip] Sometimes people in try and make us feel better. This video explains how to use empathy correctly
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Thu Jun 30 10:19:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmiz9/sometimes_people_in_try_and_make_us_feel_better/
---
https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 30 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmfsn/daily_food_diary_june_30_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 30, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] Pesky warehouse work!
/u/KillingKylie [5'5| Piggy|-25|F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 09:55:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmeiq/pesky_warehouse_work/
---
I normally am very good at fasting, but I started a second job at a warehouse unloading trucks and such this week... And now fasting is near impossible without getting faint.

I track my hydration daily and drink Powerade Zero if I become dizzy after sweating a lot, so I doubt this is a hydration issue. I am going to modify my fast "rules" by putting some 2% milk (ugh, I hate it.) in my coffee to see if that helps. Any other suggestions would be appreciated, although I should warn almond milk and but butters are now a no go for me. (Pesky allergies.)

---

[Help] Alternating primatine and bronkaid?
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 09:43:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qmcay/alternating_primatine_and_bronkaid/
---
No flair on mobile, sorry!!

I've been using primatine off and on for a couple months, and yesterday was the first time I got bronkaid. I still have some primatene left, but I took a bronkaid today to see if it was different, and I feel like it's working so well. I know it's probably because I've built up a tolerance to primatene (even though I'm careful not to take it too frequently and never exceed 2 a day, most days just 1). Is it dangerous to alternate between the two? Like if I took one for a couple days one week and the other the next?

---

[Goal] Major morning success
/u/prehsm [5'2 | CW: 130 | 23.8 | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 09:18:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qm7k0/major_morning_success/
---
I can touch my thumbs to all my other fingers when I wrap my hands around my wrists. BOTH wrists. I can't remember the last time I could do that.

What's something small that recently made your whole entire day/week/month?

---

[Discussion] What are some of your NSVs you're looking forward to?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 09:04:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qm4x7/what_are_some_of_your_nsvs_youre_looking_forward/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Is anyone else's appetite out of control the day after an EC stack?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Thu Jun 30 08:59:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qm3va/is_anyone_elses_appetite_out_of_control_the_day/
---
It seems like on the day after an EC stack, I will definitely binge. Like it's this extreme form of hunger that I've never felt before. If I fast one day WITHOUT taking the stack, the day after I feel even less hungry than the first, but if I fasted WITH the stack the day after I'm insatiable.

Is it just me?

---

[Discussion] What is YOUR most important meal of the day?
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 08:45:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qm1ci/what_is_your_most_important_meal_of_the_day/
---
My favorite is brunch but the most necessary meal is probably dinner! I can skip breakfast and sometimes lunch without too much trouble, but if I don't get something in my stomach once it hits 6pm I'm going to keel over! :)

So what about you guys? What is your most important/favorite meal of the day?

---

[Rant/Rave] I guess I've officially gone crazy
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Jun 30 07:53:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qlrsq/i_guess_ive_officially_gone_crazy/
---
I stopped taking the supplements because I like the bruises on my legs, I love looking pale and getting comments if I feel ok because I look so pale. And I miss those comments now that I've regained some of the weight.

---

[Rant/Rave] Feeling full distracts and frustrates me so much that it's affecting my relationships.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 07:25:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qln5f/feeling_full_distracts_and_frustrates_me_so_much/
---
I am so frustrated.

Anytime I eat more than I plan to lately, or even just feel particularly full, I freeze up. I get annoyed, and tense, and unsociable.

I mean I've also disliked those things obviously, but for some reason now it physically affects me too. If I binge at a friend's place, I'll suddenly act bitchy and just want to leave. If I eat a second helping of dinner with my gf, I get frustrated and end up sounding rude about unrelated things for the rest of the night. And I hate it, I hate hate hate it.

I don't want to become some jerk to my friends and loved ones. I don't want it to turn people against me. But I don't want to tell them either. I can't expect them to excuse me seemingly randomly being cold or mean sometimes if I don't say anything about it.

I can apologize afterwards as much as I want but eventually it'll get old. I wish I had better control of myself. When I don't, it makes me binge like a fucking cow, and it makes me a shitty person too. Goddamnit.

---

[Tip] Anyone else use elastic bands on their wrists to stop the urges to binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 30 06:09:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qlb2a/anyone_else_use_elastic_bands_on_their_wrists_to/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support June 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 30 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qla5v/weekly_emotional_support_june_30_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] When eating while drinking, is it the calories that affect how drunk you get, or the volume of food?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 05:07:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ql39q/when_eating_while_drinking_is_it_the_calories/
---
I've been fasting since Monday night but a friend of mine is turning in her Master thesis and we're going out for beers after. I'm considering eating a protein bar before hand just so I have something in my stomach so I don't get too drunk. But if it's only the volume of food that slows down the alcohol, I would rather eat a can of tuna fish and a bunch of spinach for less calories. Or maybe I'll just stick with beer. That fills me up too fast to get me overly drunk...

So, fellow drunks of proed, what is your experience with eating before drinking?

---

[Goal] Some motivation for today!
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 30 01:01:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qkd8f/some_motivation_for_today/
---
I just woke up, feeling a bit hungry since I fasted yesterday. But before I went to make myself breakfast, I stepped on the scale (Yay I finally own one again! :3),to see that I'm 1kg down from yesterday! I know it's just water weight, blablabla, but I am not having breakfast! I'd rather spend my time playing video games, thank you very much ;)
Good luck today to everyone! Love you all!

---

[Rant/Rave] Nothing sucks quite like gifts of food!
/u/pcrnography [5'6" | -55 lbs | nb]
Created: Thu Jun 30 00:43:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qkb56/nothing_sucks_quite_like_gifts_of_food/
---
I can't decide what's worse though, someone buying me food or making me food. Spending their time or money or both on me because there's no way I'm getting anything but guilt out of it. I won't eat it, I'll feel shitty for throwing it out. I do eat it, I feel shitty for being fat.

My sister stopped by McDonald's after work and got me a chocolate milkshake. I didn't even ask for one but she smiled and gave it to me and I feel so bad that I basically just threw it away but it's 700 calories and I would've ended the day at 1300 instead of 600 :( she thought of me and spent money on me and I had to throw it out instead of enjoying it like a normal human being. Ugh :(

---

[Goal] Small victory!
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Thu Jun 30 00:41:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qkayr/small_victory/
---
I've been in a down place lately and have had trouble keeping myself from binging just..week after week. Last night I promised myself, no more, I'm not going to let summer go by without feeling good in a swim suit and I successfully fasted all day! :) granted some of it was time asleep but it's still a big step away from the awful cycle we sometimes get into. Hoping tomorrow goes as well.

I was up to 10 lbs above my gw and now the scale reads 1.6 lbs lower! :D maybe it's water weight or whatever but it feels great to see the numbers going in the right direction.

Here's hoping I can get down 4 to 6 more lbs in the next 2 weeks. I'm supposed to see a boy who's visiting from out of town who always fawns over my slimness and I want to be the same or less than I was last time we hung out. Wish me luck!

---

[Rant/Rave] rant : i don't want to be attractive
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 22:59:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qjz68/rant_i_dont_want_to_be_attractive/
---
does anyone else feel as i do? i don't want to be pretty, or hot, or attractive, or cute or anything like that. i want to look sick, pale, fragile and alien. it's so annoying, but i never want to change lest i actually end up losing the will to starve

---

[Discussion] DAE get heart burn when they fast?
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Wed Jun 29 22:33:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qjvx3/dae_get_heart_burn_when_they_fast/
---
I haven't eaten yet today, and I can feel the acid all the way to the back of my throat.

Also, how many calories are in tums?

---

[Discussion] How was your first EC stack?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 22:17:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qjtu6/how_was_your_first_ec_stack/
---
I took a sugar free Redbull (80mg of caffeine) + one Primatene to test it out.

I went to Trader Joe's to get food for the week and fuck... was I bugging out. I felt like people were staring at me the whole time. I felt so awake. I then bought my lettuce and sesame dressing and felt so energetic. I actually walked around downtown for no reason at all. I wish I was in running clothes, I could honestly went running at that point.

I can't tell if it's the Redbull or the Primatene or both, but it was very eye-opening... I have a very strong tolerance to caffeine but I have never mixed the two before.

How was everyone else's experience with it? Also, I see girls take an EC stack as meals.... do you think you could build a tolerance that fast with it?

FYI Primatene is only like $5 for 24 tablets at Target. Could of sworn they were much more expensive.

---

How do you feel about the origin of this sub?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 21:43:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qjp9k/how_do_you_feel_about_the_origin_of_this_sub/
---
[removed]

---

[Goal] Thigh gap!
/u/delirero
Created: Wed Jun 29 20:54:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qjhyg/thigh_gap/
---
http://imgur.com/xxLCyAa

---

[Help] I'm having a horrible day. No one else but you who'll listen.
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 20:21:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qjcw7/im_having_a_horrible_day_no_one_else_but_you/
---
So I'm going to fail high school. I'm crying my fucking eyes out and I can't stop it but my whole family is treating me like I'm having a tantrum like a child who dropped their ice cream or something. They've never loved me. I've always been just a big shit on the face of their otherwise perfect life. They don't even talk to me if they're not criticizing me. My life is ending, it's not worth living anymore. Without a high school diploma there's no path forwards. It's not a bad future, it's literally nothing. Not one person in my life cares about me. Everyone would be a million times happier and their lives would be easier without me. All I have is you guys. I don't know what I'm gonna do. Maybe drive to alaska and starve to death in an old bus like that one guy in the 90's.

---

[Tip] Been binging lately - still losing weight!
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Wed Jun 29 20:08:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qjb06/been_binging_lately_still_losing_weight/
---
I've started binging for breakfast. I allow myself to eat whatever in the morning up until I'm full. Usually fruits and liquids but It varies. I feel soooo full I just don't feel like eating the rest of the day. At dinner time I can avoid family because I go to the gym and so I can skip food. So there you go... you can "binge" once a day and still lose weight! ^^

---

[Rant/Rave] Ate below my TDEE, but still feel guilty.
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Wed Jun 29 19:04:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qj1ax/ate_below_my_tdee_but_still_feel_guilty/
---
And I've already taken my sleepy time pills, so there's no exercise-bulimiaing my way out of it this time. >:(

Dammit, and I've been so good lately, too. I've eaten well below my TDEE (sub 800kcals eaten) for the better part of this past week, AND I've been wearing a hole through the treadmill (burning ~1000kcals a day in exercise).

Then today. Ugh! I ate double my macro allowance for protein, 3 chocolate truffles, and way too many taste-tests of the baked-goods I made for my guests this holiday weekend.

Even though I went for a 2 hour hike today and did calisthenics and ate below my TDEE, I did not carpe diem to my ED's standards; thus, I am bitching it all out to you nice people.

EDs are so stoopid, but damn it if nothing else has made me more motivated than this.

(FWIW, my ED is probably best described as orthorexia, and I dabble in exercise-bulimia).

I love you all so much. Thank you so much for reading my lengthy and vain diatribe.

NO WHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD can I vent this out without the inevitable "what are you talking about??", "but u look so gud already!", etc ad nauseum.

pills are kicking in a bit now. night night, dear ones.
xoxoxo

---

[Goal] VICTORY SCREECH!!!
/u/ilovepugs_ [5'6 1/2" | 149.2 | 23.7 | -4.8 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 18:58:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qj0gm/victory_screech/
---
So recently I've been binge eating and purging too much for my taste. Instead of aiming for a 1000-750 calorie deficit, I brought that down to 500 so I don't binge.

So instead of looking in the mirror and telling myself how much I hate myself, I look for the qualities in me that I like:
I like my body shape, I'm a size 6 which isn't too bad, I can run and do exercise, etc. So, it's getting better...it's hard but I do it.

Today at my job, we had a potluck. And for weeks I was freaking out about it. But today I woke up, had breakfast, and then are reasonable amounts at the potluck. Afterwards, I swear I really wanted to purge right then and there. I went to the bathroom to check to see if I ballooned up to an elephant and if I was as big a as I thought I was, but I wasn't!!! So I didn't purge and I kept the food down :-)

This is a huge deal to me and I'm happy I didn't purge even though I wanted to. That's all. Just wanted to share the victory!

---

[Other] Just gotta tell yall
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 18:48:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qiz2w/just_gotta_tell_yall/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] my classmates & calorie challanges
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 18:04:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qirq8/my_classmates_calorie_challanges/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Its 7:30pm and I haven't eaten yet
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Wed Jun 29 17:41:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qio6u/its_730pm_and_i_havent_eaten_yet/
---
Do I even bother trying to get all the food I had planned to eat in before the end of the day?

Its only 600 calories worth of food, but still a fairly large volume including a cup of greek yogurt, 3 eggs (2 whites + 1 whole), 4oz of chicken, and 150g of cabbage. I feel like I would have to be eating constantly for the next few hours in order to finish it all before I go to bed, and honestly the idea makes me a little nauseous. But I also know I need the protein to stave off muscle loss and the other adverse effects of a very low calorie diet.

I just don't even know if I want to bother at this point....

---

[Help] B/P unsuccessful, Need tips for 100 cal days and how to keep my energy up.
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 89 lbs | 19.21 | -51| F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 17:37:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qinmc/bp_unsuccessful_need_tips_for_100_cal_days_and/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] other people cooking food
/u/sylphlike [5'4 | hmm. | hurr. | -9.6 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 17:20:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qikun/other_people_cooking_food/
---
I don't want to sound like an angry psychotic but I am both of those so... oh well. I hate smelling other people's food while it's cooking. SPECIFICALLY during the cooking stage. I don't care about the scent when it's done, I don't care about the possible stench of the raw materials-- hell, I don't even care if it's eau de vomi. (That's vomit, for all you folk out there.) Well, actually, scratch the last one. I don't want to smell anyone else's puke.

My egg donor (a being that some people would rudely refer to as my mother) is currently frying fish, which is basically at the top of my no-no list. We had an incident a few years ago when she burned turkey bacon and I ended up getting violently ill and throwing up. I usually only get nauseous and woozy, though. I've been like this since I was a child. Made family barbecues a real pain in the ass for a lot of people. Today, she has managed to ruin any chances of my having a good day by spreading the stench of burning flesh throughout the house. I mean, it is just permeating everything. I'm sure my cat is in heaven right now, though. (So there's a little bit of my positive side.)

Is anybody else like this? Do the scents created from other people cooking food make you feel anything? Positive or negative, I'm honestly just curious. (And also trying very hard not to throw up right now.)

---

[Rant/Rave] Wedding dress fitting
/u/ooo5936 [5'6" | 124.2lbs | GW: 115 | -8.6lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 17:06:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qiimk/wedding_dress_fitting/
---
My wedding is this August and my dress finally came in!

Good news: It fits perfectly!
Bad news: They told me not to gain or lose any weight.

I'm still hoping to lose 10 pounds before the wedding. I won't feel beautiful if I'm the same weight that I am now. I'm going to look better if I lose all the weight that I don't want.

---

[Help] (Help) Work Food
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | FAT AF | Binging is shite | 21 / F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 16:55:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qigyn/help_work_food/
---
So I am going back to my summer job next week, and my coworkers usually ask me why I dont eat lunch, so running out of excuses ever so often, i usually start having luch and hating myself for it

so as this is year six of me working there, i want a change, and now ask,

do you have any reccomendations for lunches that i can prepare the day before, that look quite high volume, or big enough for a lunch, but are around or under 200cal?

---

[Help] can you guys just say nice things or something
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Wed Jun 29 16:46:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qife2/can_you_guys_just_say_nice_things_or_something/
---
I'm giving myself the "tomorrow / new day" speech but mostly I want to fling myself down the stairs. Consider this the online equivalent of someone extending their arms & crying.

---

[Intro] I gave into pressure and "recovered," gained back everything I'd lost. Starting over, saying hello.
/u/trampledherbage [5'3" | CW: 99 | 18.02 | GW: 93 LW: -16 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 16:35:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qidio/i_gave_into_pressure_and_recovered_gained_back/
---
I want to start by saying I completely respect and want to empower anyone who is trying to recover and gain weight. This is completely about me, and not about shaming anyone who finds their way out of this world.

I'm not happy. I'm back to nearly my starting weight (115; can't figure out how update flair on mobile), and I feel completely atrocious.

I need to get back on track, because the self loathing is too much.

Does anyone have any advice for getting back in? I am going on a liquid fast beginning today to try to jump start my way into July, but I feel like my mentality is all wrong. I've allowed myself to eat too much, too carelessly these last few months. I started purging in October of last year and still haven't really found a way to stop entirely, although my efficacy and commitment went way down.

My friends pushed me into recovery in January/February, but I don't think I handled it very well. It's been a steady climb in weight ever since, and a steady plunge into depression, again. I love my friends, but need to get a grip on this for myself. I am more depressed, anxious, and suicidal than I've been in months. I was happier when I was in control of my body.

So, hello again. I'm going to try to participate in this community more, so I hope to see you around. You're all so wonderful and so supportive--literally the only group I feel safe telling this to. Thank you to everyone who makes this place what it is. <3

---

[Rant/Rave] Spoiler alert: "Recovery" is bullshit.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 16:14:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qia0x/spoiler_alert_recovery_is_bullshit/
---
[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Transformation thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 15:30:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qi22w/transformation_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/RfkJbsu.png

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[Other] this goddamn year
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Wed Jun 29 15:07:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhxqj/this_goddamn_year/
---
http://i.imgur.com/mWFOBqL.jpg

---

[Other] Finally 40 hours back into a fast
/u/FasterFasting [5' 6" | 168 | BMI | M]
Created: Wed Jun 29 14:46:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhtqh/finally_40_hours_back_into_a_fast/
---
Posted here a couple weeks when I was 60 hours into a fast and made it up to 100 hours. Got down to 165 lbs which was the lowest I'd seen in at least three years. Promptly ate like shit for a couple days, then went on a family trip and ate nothing but fried food for a week.

Feels so nice to be almost empty again and back down to 168. Think I'm going to try to make it 7 days of fasting or under 160 whichever comes first. Will be reading all your posts for support until then!

---

[Thinspo] 5'8 (172.7cm) 115lbs (52kg) - male thinspo (ErikTheElectric pre-recovery)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 14:20:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhox5/58_1727cm_115lbs_52kg_male_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/4Uxo8mV.jpg

---

[Other] Can i just share my new love for TOASTIES?! [135 cal sandwiches]
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Wed Jun 29 14:20:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhovk/can_i_just_share_my_new_love_for_toasties_135_cal/
---
http://imgur.com/a/a5OUJ

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[Other] Do you like Korean muk-bangs? Similar, but different: 30,000 Calorie Cheat Day by ErikTheElectric (weight lifter/cyclist/recovering anorexic)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 14:10:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhn39/do_you_like_korean_mukbangs_similar_but_different/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5tYhDv-gLE

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[Thinspo] 5'10 (177.8cm) 103lbs (46.7kg) - male thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 14:06:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhm8v/510_1778cm_103lbs_467kg_male_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/CMuDo

---

[Thinspo] 7s 5lbs = 103lbs = 46.7kg male thinspo (from pre-recovery)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 14:03:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhln1/7s_5lbs_103lbs_467kg_male_thinspo_from_prerecovery/
---
http://imgur.com/a/CMuDo

---

[Thinspo] 5'11 (180cm) 132lbs (60kg) - male thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 13:57:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhkdk/511_180cm_132lbs_60kg_male_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/CzZgcj8.png

---

[Discussion] Ladies (and men), do you think you're attractive?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 13:32:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhfgi/ladies_and_men_do_you_think_youre_attractive/
---
Personally I think I'm pretty attractive.


I have (a lot) of moments when I am self conscious and second guess if I am "objectively pretty", but men seem to respond to me so yeah. However, most of my ED stems from the societal norm to maximize on looks.


Do yall think you are attractive? Objectively and personally?

---

[Other] I just c/s for the first time.
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 13:05:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qhad1/i_just_cs_for_the_first_time/
---
And it was amazing. All the delight of huge bites of peach cobbler, none of the guilt.

I only took three bites, but I think it stopped a binge.

---

[Rant/Rave] Happy!
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Jun 29 12:57:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qh8yn/happy/
---
Yesterday I got my [hair done](http://imgur.com/gallery/ouONc) and it is exactly how I wanted it to look. I've gotten almost 150 likes on it on Facebook since posting a photo 12 hours ago. I also lost a pound, despite So this morning, feeling good about myself, I decided to wear a super cute romper for the first time since a year ago. I wasn't sure it would fit, but it zipped right up and actually feels more comfortable than it did before, despite knowing that I physically weigh more. Then I got home from my class, and my boyfriend told me I look skinnier today!!! It was like the ultimate yay I needed today!

---

[Discussion] Childless females - how has your ED impacted your desire to have children? Do you want kids?
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 12:56:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qh8q0/childless_females_how_has_your_ed_impacted_your/
---
I don't want kids, period. This is seen as "taboo" for a female, which I get. I've warned my boyfriend early on, and I am persistent and consistent in reminding him, that I will not have kids.

I've self-reflected on the reasons I don't want kids and I'm pretty sure all the reasons boil down to ED. I was curious if any of you have noticed the same pattern. My reasons for not wanting kids (please, I know I view the world in a negative light. I like to think I'm being rational and realistic though)....

-I feel that the pain of life outweighs the pleasure. Life is a struggle. It feels like a sick game. Ups are good, but they inevitably lead to downs. Black and white make grey. Sure, my kid MIGHT experience a different reality but..is it worth the risk? Not in my opinion.

-My family has a history of genetic mental illness (depression, anxiety, and addiction). My ED seems like nothing but a manifestation of an anxiety disorder. What would my child's manifestation of anxiety be? Also an ED because they see their mom eating abnormally? Maybe an addiction to a substance?

-Kids are expensive. I can barely afford myself. Or manage my emotions. Sure, maybe a kid would distract me from myself and I'd find a "new love for life". But, maybe not. Besides, if I have a kid to distract myself from myself, how selfish is that? They still have to live their long, potentially miserable life.

-The education system seems whack, the future of the earth and terrorism seem whack. Just, why would I? I know that other parts of history had their downfalls too (nazi germany, great depression, etc.) but .....exactly. So why would I burden a kid with this world against their will?

-My body and my ED. Could I maintain a healthy pregnancy? Yeah, but it would mentally wreck me. Do I want a fucked up body after? No. Selfish? Yeah I GUESS. But this is just a small percentage in the face of all the reasons above^^^

-Relationships...seem so impermanent. Why bring a kid into a structure that seems inevitable to suffer?

-Life with an ED just makes life seem...dark and long. I say simply "I don't want kids" and people assume I just dont like children. But nah, the reasons are lengthy.

I truly think I will be satisfied with a few dogs, a lot of plants, my art, and traveling. I have a job where I help children with mental illnesses and I plan to go higher with my degree. So essentially, I feel like my womanhood is going toward children who were born to bad circumstances. Why have my own? How do you feel?

---

[Goal] I am under my calories for today
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 12:42:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qh646/i_am_under_my_calories_for_today/
---
So like a dog, I am rewarding myself with starbucks while I make a dinner I WONT be eating for the fam. I gotta stay strong. Love yall!

---

[Rant/Rave] I am very tired about fighting people over my fucking eating habits.
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 12:23:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qh26m/i_am_very_tired_about_fighting_people_over_my/
---
I love my fiance, but I am very, very, very tired of fighting with him about how much I eat. Or what I eat. Or what apparently counts as food.

I started a fast/super severe restriction on Monday (Partially because I ate like crap following my surgery, and I know it's going to show up on my weigh in for my follow up next week), and I feel like I've done really good so far. I've stayed under 200 calories on both Monday and Tuesday and fought off a really strong urge to binge yesterday. I plan to go until at least Friday like this, which I don't think is a big deal. If I start feeling too faint or icky I can always stop before I hurt myself, but I have a fucking desk job and then I go home and lay in bed because he never wants to go to the gym with me and I'm too chickenshit to go alone.

But I told him last night that I was fasting/restricting, because he keeps questioning me if I've eaten or not, and apparently that's just un-fucking-acceptable. To the point where it caused a whole big fight and he keeps saying that I'm hurting myself, I'm hurting him, and I'm basically an idiot. I told him what I had eaten during the day yesterday, and apparently food doesn't count as food if I don't eat it in an entire fucking meal. I don't want to eat a god damn meal, I want to nibble on stuff if I feel famished and then the rest of the time I can drink water. And this isn't the first time it's happened like this. Any time I bring up restricting my calorie intake it's always a fight about how I don't eat enough. It's like he has some sort of feeding fetish and wants me to keep gaining weight. I mean I gained 20 fucking lbs since we started dating, and I'm done being this fat. DONE.

I'm not going to eat until I am ready. It's my fucking body, I will put food into it when I feel like it and not a fucking minute sooner. I don't care. He can yell at me, he can shame me in front of our friends, he can fucking walk out on me if he wants. I am not giving in anymore.

---

[Discussion] What are your favourite subreddits? I'll make a chart with the results of this poll!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 12:14:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qh0f5/what_are_your_favourite_subreddits_ill_make_a/
---
http://goo.gl/forms/15It52tw7UHGF6Q62

---

[Discussion] What is one thing you can't substitute with the "diet" equivalent?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Wed Jun 29 12:14:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qh0db/what_is_one_thing_you_cant_substitute_with_the/
---
For example. I will always eat regular ketchup, the sugar free or whatever just isn't the same.

---

[Other] I clearly love it here
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 11:47:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qgvds/i_clearly_love_it_here/
---
http://imgur.com/WzGUkKk

---

[Discussion] Odd Food habits
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 55kg | 18.43 | -33kg | NB/M]
Created: Wed Jun 29 11:40:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qgtvp/odd_food_habits/
---
What are your weird food habits?

I always eat everything I've prepared even when I'm full because I hate the idea of not knowing exactly how many calories I'm consuming.

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like such an asshole for not liking their bodies?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 11:31:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qgs4x/does_anyone_else_feel_like_such_an_asshole_for/
---
I'm sorry I'm posting so much guys, I just feel like I need you all right now, and talking about this stuff makes me feel sane.

Anyway.

I have like a curvy kind of figure, smaller waist, bigger boobs and hips, and people compliment me when I feel down about myself.

They say stuff like I wish I had your big boobs or your ass or you should be happy everyone wants to look like you or be an hourglass.

But I HATE IT.

I want to be tiny and lithe and straight figured. I want to not have to wear a bra and still look elegant and not like a swinging ape.

I want to be 5 foot nothing and 90 pounds.

And my boyfriend has these tiny, girl friends that I wish I looked like and he always says guys don't like that, I'm not attracted to that.

But I want to be that.

I feel like such a lumbering ape around them. I'm closer to the size of all the guys I'm friends with than the girls.

They hug me and they're so small and skinny and I'm so tall and fat and huge, I just want to die.

I just feel like such an asshole for not liking myself, and wanting to be what I can't, when other people want (or at least they say they do) my body type.

Please someone tell me I'm not alone

---

[Discussion] What's everyone's weakness foods?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 11:20:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qgpui/whats_everyones_weakness_foods/
---
For me, its baked brie on bread with strawberry jam, or those ice cream bars that are vanilla ice cream on a stick, covered in almonds and chocolate.

On my last binge I ate a box of 8 from Walmart. They weren't even the good Haagen Daaz brand ones, no, they were Walmart Great Value.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 29 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qgasf/daily_food_diary_june_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Anyone else FEEL smaller than what they actually are?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 09:19:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qg2c5/anyone_else_feel_smaller_than_what_they_actually/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Increased intake and paranoid...
/u/slytherlin [5'5" | CW: 130 | GW:110 | NB]
Created: Wed Jun 29 09:10:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qg0jh/increased_intake_and_paranoid/
---
So for basically all of June I'd been eating strictly up to 600 calories a day, and I dropped 10 pounds. \o/ It was suffering but it was worth it, lmao.

Now I'm slowing my loss down (eating from 900 - 1000 a day) because I'm pretty sure my low intake was exacerbating some health problems (my breathing was shit, my heart raced all the time, constantly low energy, etc.), but I'm still definitely trying to lose weight.

But like... I feel constantly paranoid now that I'm accidentally gorging myself. Like I literally can't stop thinking about the food I'm making is ~secretly~ full of tons of calories. How do normal people just like... keep eating? >__>

Don't get me wrong, I actually love food. But I feel like that's part of the problem. Even though I logically know my TDEE is at the very least 1600, so I *must* be losing weight, my thoughts are dominated by the paranoia that I'm eating too much. 1000 calories just seems like so damn much... D:

---

[Help] Is it normal for food to pass through you in less than 24 hours? (probably TMI)
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 08:55:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qfxor/is_it_normal_for_food_to_pass_through_you_in_less/
---
So I fasted for 48 hours (Sun & Mon) then ate on Tuesday. More than I wanted but less than maintenance for 1 day (let alone 3). I'm fasting again today and I've already gone to the bathroom 3 freaking times! This can only be what I ate yesterday but this is ridiculous. I've lost a freaking kilo already and I suspect it's all this food weight.

I don't use laxatives (except when I actually do need them, like if I haven't gone in more than 3 days). Has restricting/fasting fucked up my digestive system? Anybody else have this problem?

Even more TMI, but they haven't been particularly solid. Not quite diarrhea, more like a 5 or 6 on the [Bristol stool chart](http://wellnessoflifedavis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Bristol_stool_chart.jpg). I've had less coffee than normal and I've been keeping my water intake up just in case

---

[Help] is my hair thinning out already?
/u/throwawaighe
Created: Wed Jun 29 08:11:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qfpfw/is_my_hair_thinning_out_already/
---
I've been restricting for a few weeks now, and I already see my hair is starting to thin out- a LOT. I don't know if it's just me. I care very much about my hair, and although I realized it was bound to happen sometime, I didn't realize it would take so little for it to change. First question; am I just imagining this? Second question; if not, can I do anything to halt the progress? My hair has been very thick for as long as I've been alive.

I'm sorry for the lack of good pictures, but [here's me a few days before I started to restrict](http://i.imgur.com/edRiWeS.jpg), and [here's my](http://i.imgur.com/1t9UC80.png) [hair now](http://i.imgur.com/VRHRYdm.png). (there's two links in there, by the way.) It feels much more dry for the past few days. It's freaking me out, sorry if this seems like I'm overreacting at all!

---

[Help] DAE make themselves gag? (TW/TMI)
/u/Erenem [5'4 | 88 | 15.10 | -32lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 08:07:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qfoqg/dae_make_themselves_gag_twtmi/
---
Key word is gag as opposed to actually being sick/purging.

I used to binge-purge quite a bit, but my main behaviour has always been restriction, and as of this year I haven't binged or purged at all. However, I do feel nauseous easily, and sometimes if I feel like that, or I feel like I've eaten more than I'm comfortable with, I'll repeat the purging motions for a minute or so, just until the first tiny bits of vomit start to come up, and then I'll spit and stop. I don't do it to purge the calories, obviously, I don't get rid of anything, and I do it very rarely, but I've always found that it provides some minor mental and physical relief, and I was wondering if anyone else did the same? I feel like it clears my head and eases my anxieties a bit. And that seems weird to me since I'm not actually getting rid of anything.

Am I the only person who does this? Please say I'm not.

---

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I keep self-sabotaging and it's really upsetting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 08:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qfndq/rant_i_keep_selfsabotaging_and_its_really/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday June 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 29 06:02:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qf4p0/way_to_go_wednesday_june_29_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for June 29, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Help] loose skin fears
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 05:35:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qf1af/loose_skin_fears/
---
question for anyone here that's gone from a higher weight (in my case, higher end of normal weight) to underweight, what's the situation with loose skin like? it's the only thing that makes me hesitate just going ahead and losing all the weight as fast as i can

---

[Help] Does being cold actually burn any more calories?
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 05:12:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qeymn/does_being_cold_actually_burn_any_more_calories/
---
I've heard/read conflicting things. Is there any calorie burning benefit to being cold?

Or should I just shut the window and put a jumper on?

---

[Thinspo] can anyone estimate this guy's bmi? (tw : bones)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 29 05:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qexge/can_anyone_estimate_this_guys_bmi_tw_bones/
---
http://male-ano-thin.tumblr.com/post/89255170428

---

[Help] I can't do it. I can't do the weight lifting thing properly. I am not ready for the changes. Goddamnit. Advice, thoughts?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jun 29 05:00:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qex8v/i_cant_do_it_i_cant_do_the_weight_lifting_thing/
---
Sigh.

I've really tried the last two months, to change my goal mindset from 'skinny' to 'be fit and strong!', or at least combine the two.

At first it was great. I love lifting at the gym, and I could eat more with good reason, right?! I tried to tell myself hey.. just eat a little more, perfect nutrition for the gym - it's still in control - build some muscle, you might rid yourself of body fat. Strong like ox! All good! Lean, fit, get rid of the body fat.

But the last two or three weeks I've been wavering, and I think I have to conclude that I am just not ready for it. I want to be 88lbs more than I want to be musclier. That means losing around 7lbs. I can't really do both, as much as I tried to fool myself.

My PT wants to see me gain weight from lifting at the gym - because of course he does. That's the goddamn point, trying to make me bulkier and stronger. I DO want that, I see that in my future, but I just.. can't right now. I am not ready. I want to be 88lbs. I want to lose 7lbs and be 88lbs.

Plus side, he's getting my money, he can't MAKE me gain weight. Maybe he'd get frustrated at me but if I act oblivious about how shitty my diet is and claim I'm trying.. fuck. I don't want to mess with the dude when he's being so cool with me, but how can I tell him I want to lose half a stone rather than gain any muscle? When that's what we're there to DO? When he's already told me in *no uncertain terms* to not fucking lose anymore weight? I just have to hope he simply thinks I'm fucking stupid when he sees I'm losing weight rather than gaining because of shitty diet, and has sympathy for me being fucking stupid for a while..

Sigh, so.. current plan: Carry on my lifting at the gym. I do love it. Eat on gym days still, but less so my deficit is higher, yet still get adequate protein. Fast on rest days, speed up the lb loss. Slowly (but fast as possible) lose those 7lbs to reach 88lbs, and cross my fingers I maintain muscle mass from working out and getting protein. Hope a bigger-than-usual percentage of that 7lbs loss is body fat because of this. Re-evaluate and see if I am more ready when I hit 88lbs? Maybe slow bulking from there will feel more comfortable, knowing I have less fat on my body and could 'afford' to gain a little fat from having to eat a surplus...?

Fuck really I have no clue. I truly did try. I really did.

Any advice or thoughts or suggestions or anecdotes greatly appreciated.

---

[Thinspo] Black velvet skirt
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Wed Jun 29 00:46:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qe6n3/black_velvet_skirt/
---
http://i.imgur.com/WLHCQki.jpg

---

[Discussion] Weight loss and breast size
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 28 23:42:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qdzni/weight_loss_and_breast_size/
---
(No flair, on mobile.)



For the longest time I've had medium sized breasts. I was sized as a D+ cup for the longest time and filled it out too. But finally after losing almost 40 lbs (agh, I have to update my flair) my boobs are small enough to where I can finally go braless! They're at a B+/C- ranve right now but they aren't very full. I love a more androgynous look on me so I am seriously loving wearing bralettes and no bra at all. Eating disorders suck ass and they drive you insane but this is actually something I like! Anyone else get me?

---

[Discussion] Need grocery ideas!
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 23:05:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qdv93/need_grocery_ideas/
---
Hey everyone! I'm going to be going grocery shopping soon for the first time since I've been seriously restricting. I was wondering if you guys could please post some items you get with the estimated amount of calories each item is! Also it may be helpful to note I tend to learn more towards savory rather than sweet when I snack.

Some items I already buy are pickles, boca burgers, tons of lettuce, eggs to hard boil, and light tuna fish. Let me know :)

---

[Help] MID BINGE HELP
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Tue Jun 28 22:46:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qdsqw/mid_binge_help/
---
urgh so decided i was getting myself fro yo cuz i (unintentionally) vommed all am and then i walked there and it was closed so i came home and ate 1/4 halo top and cereal and milk and i feel fat and gross which makes me want to eat more ew tell me two stop i just had 2 fucking servings of special k

---

[Help] Please someone talk me down I am freaking out
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 22:35:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qdr45/please_someone_talk_me_down_i_am_freaking_out/
---
I got the birth control shot and I talked about it with my doctor and she said theres some weight gain associated, and I was like whatever she said that about the pill and it didn't happen then, but I stupidly didn't look into it and now I am and I'm panicking.

So many people talk about gaining 50 or 70 pounds, and not being able to lose it no matter what.

I know I'm already emotional cause HORMONES.

But I am freaking out so hard, my heart is beating so fast and I'm crying and I can't talk to my boyfriend because he'll just get all concerned that I'm freaking this hard, and because I didn't do my research he'll be all condescending about it.

I am just freaking out about everything, I am dreading work, and my annoyances with my work suddenly make me want to quit. I can't get to a level any less than teary, and I can feel myself gaining weight.

I can feel it.

Please, someone talk me down

---

[Intro] Hello - Just thank you, is all!
/u/piecesofthesun [5'4" | 130 | 22.31 | -0 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 22:24:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qdpqd/hello_just_thank_you_is_all/
---
Hello! First of all, I'm not sure if I was able to assign the correct flair to this, so please correct me if I'm wrong!

I've been lurking on this subreddit for some time now, and I just wanted to say thank you so much to all of you. Every single time I see a new post, I remember that I'm not alone in this. I've struggled with disordered eating for over a decade now, and realizing that other people struggle in similar ways has been incredibly comforting. A new job, a recovery program, and an overbearing "support" system have caused me to reach my highest weight ever (almost a 40lb gain). It has been incredibly stressful for me to deal with, and reading all of your threads has been so helpful. Just to know that other people struggle in the same way has been incredibly reassuring - I'm not alone in these feelings, and I'm supported by all of you, even when I'm not involved in the conversation!

Anyways, I just wanted to introduce myself, and say thank you to all of you! This community is wonderful, and I am so happy to have finally had the courage to introduce myself. You're all amazing <3

---

[Discussion] Anyone here also vegan?
/u/LetsPlayLion [5'6 | CW 141|GW 0 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 20:45:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qdc1c/anyone_here_also_vegan/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qdc1c/anyone_here_also_vegan/

---

[Rant/Rave] Lost motivation, don't know how to get back
/u/pandamadnesssss
Created: Tue Jun 28 20:37:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qdat4/lost_motivation_dont_know_how_to_get_back/
---
Over the winter I lost about 15 pounds in around 2 months. I know this is that impressive compared to some people here but it as a big deal for me. I'm now stuck at 145 and have been since April. I sometimes go down to 140 but I'm not committed to my restricting like I was then and I can't get my motivation back. I'll eat 500 calories all day and then see a pizza and binge at night. I have no self control and it's driving me insane. I cannot say no to food I'm so pathetic.

---

[Thinspo] [rant] male thinspo
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Tue Jun 28 20:35:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qdaeg/rant_male_thinspo/
---
Whenever I *do* find a blog/sub, it's full of muscle. I'm looking for skinny-- low weight. Bones. Ribs. The good stuff.

I understand that, culturally, skinny isn't the same ultimate goal for men that it is for women and that's okay...I just want to find my people when I go looking. I don't want to be 190lbs of muscle, I want to be 120lbs of light and air.

---

[Help] Having Trouble Getting Back On Track
/u/CG_goddess [5'2" | 117 lbs. | 21.4 | 0 :( | Female]
Created: Tue Jun 28 20:19:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qd7ys/having_trouble_getting_back_on_track/
---
I've been gaining weight for a while and I want to go back to losing again, but I've lost all self control and self motivation when it comes to dieting

---

[Discussion] At what weight did you finally look "skinny"?
/u/dbishop22
Created: Tue Jun 28 20:08:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qd6c3/at_what_weight_did_you_finally_look_skinny/
---
I'm 5'1.5" and 127 pounds but I still feel like a lumbering eat beast and I certainly don't look skinny. What weight did you guys have to get to to be really lean and tight looking?

---

[Rant/Rave] Well fuck [Rant]
/u/TopCat1392 [5'3.5" | 111.4 | 19.88 | -26.6 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 18:20:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qcpbl/well_fuck_rant/
---
Today has just been god awful. Scale was running low on battery, put in new ones, up tso pounds. Go to the gym, but I go a little easy since I have a total hip replacement (usually an hour on rolling hills @ 3.5 mph) almost done and some random asshole tells me I should run 😂. I fucking can't. I would if I could. Cry for 15 minutes and then suck it up. Come home, break my favorite baking dish. It was nothing special, just red and ceramic, and my favorite. Doing body measurements and get curious so I check my height, nope and inch shorter than I thought. Even had the bf triple check.

Start to melt down and bf says im being neurotic. Hes a wonderfully supportive man, take that with a grain of salt. I just cant help it though. In under a month we're going to his family reunion and all his teenaged cousins teased me relentlessly for being "average weight" (fat to them, whaling to me). I dont want to do thay again this year and its a week long trip. Like fuck, is it Monday again? 😭

---

[Help] Help! 145lbs
/u/LetsPlayLion [5'6 | CW 141|GW 0 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 17:35:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qchxe/help_145lbs/
---
I recently switched to a vegan diet as part of a recovery process to eat better for myself and the planet and it has helped me feel better about food choices and my general idea of food but I've GAINED almost 15 lbs and I need to cleanse before starting a fast. So I ask...what are your favorite cleanses before fasting? Any pre fast rituals or general strategy to starting a cleanse? Looking for any info. :-)

---

[Thinspo] Black and White Thinspo
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 17:10:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qcdo8/black_and_white_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/RTk6n

---

[Help] How to fake weight gain?
/u/Vegan_mermaid [5'2 | 93.0 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 16:48:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qc9xj/how_to_fake_weight_gain/
---
I've been experiencing a relapse (AN-R) for about 6 months and while I've started therapy and am trying to acclimate to the idea of recovery, I'm just not ready to increase my calories yet. I thought I was maintaining or had at least slowed my weight loss but some water just came off and I've very obviously lost more weight this week, which I'm happy about, BUUUTTTT....

My husband and MIL are super worried and think I'm too thin. (I disagree. My bmi is 17.0) I want them to stop worrying (and hassling me, honestly) so I'm wondering if there's any way I can give the appearance of weight gain without actually eating more, cause I just really can't stomach more food at this point. (I'll get there. Baby steps.)

Anyone have any tips? We are going on a beach vacay next week. (they've both seen me in a bikini at least weekly for the past two months.)

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else really like eating?
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 16:29:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qc6qd/does_anyone_else_really_like_eating/
---
I love food. I love food so much we had a family catch phrase "notyourtoy loves her food." I enjoy preparing it and smelling it and eating it.

So the battle isn't with hunger, I'm just so sad when I can't eat. I want to eat because I enjoy eating, I don't want to eat because I enjoy being skinny. It's my lifelong catch-22.

Anyone else feel this way? I hear a lot about being afraid of food or disgusted by food or hating food, but does anyone else have this tension of truly loving food and eating but having to choose not to because you hate your body more?

---

[Tip] Do something that makes you feel pretty!
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 16:06:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qc2ss/do_something_that_makes_you_feel_pretty/
---
It's so hard for me to feel like I can even be seen some days.

I spend all day in sweatpants and a big sweater, just hiding, not going out, not looking in mirrors, nothing.

But there's one thing where I can actually feel a little better about me, and it's doing my nails.

I buy these kits of like 300 fake nails and some nail glue at Shopper Drug Mart, and I keep my nails looking long and well done and it makes me feel pretty, like one of the InstaModels that I wish I was.

That's my thing.

Get your hair done, paint your nails, get a facial, do something to make yourself feel pretty.

I know how hard it is, I know that everything that echoes around in your head about you in negative and mean.

When I look at my hands, with my nails done, they look slimmer and prettier, and I feel a little better.

I feel one step closer to the real, not fat, me.

I want you all to feel a little better, so find something that makes you feel pretty and do it, you deserve it.

---

[Rant/Rave] Annoyed with the Thinspo sub...
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Jun 28 15:58:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qc1kz/annoyed_with_the_thinspo_sub/
---
Half of that shit is just porn of average weight girls. There are other subs for that so I don't understand why it's flooded with "fitspo". I have to scroll through pages to find a girl with fucking ribs showing let alone anything else.

---

[Other] "Recovery" is a bitch.
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 15:46:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qbzjd/recovery_is_a_bitch/
---
http://imgur.com/tktAopc

---

[Rant/Rave] godDAMNIT
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Tue Jun 28 15:14:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qbu2o/goddamnit/
---
I'm trying to stay positive. Daily b/p has become two days of restriction between binges. But jesus *christ* I'm exhausted. I'm so endlessly tired. I hate this endless war against myself.

---

[Rant/Rave] When lunch is monochromatic, delicious, and under 200 calories
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 15:10:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qbtfd/when_lunch_is_monochromatic_delicious_and_under/
---
http://imgur.com/sLkARcN

---

[Rant/Rave] Me July 2015 vs May 2016
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 28 13:40:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qbcq3/me_july_2015_vs_may_2016/
---
https://m.imgur.com/a/mVWSa

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[Rant/Rave] bored, bingey, and dizzy; literally the worst.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 13:18:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qb8fh/bored_bingey_and_dizzy_literally_the_worst/
---
Work is slow, I'm caught up on all my shows, can't talk to conjugal mustache because he is busy with babyman/his own work, can't online shop because I'm broke, drank all my water; I'm so bored I just want to eat for the temporary relief of doing something.

But I can't because I've already had lunch and a snack, and my dinner is portioned out (thank god for leftovers) to meet my cal limit for the day.

Normally I'd go for a walk, but my Meniere's disease is flaring up so I'm susceptible to [drop attacks](http://cdn.playbuzz.com/cdn/2b7e19b8-da25-4873-a052-5792a9df089f/65b37c79-528a-48cc-8498-61cf091ab8e5.gif), nausea with movement, and staggering around like a drunkard. They only way I feel better is if I remain still.

Which sucks, because I greatly enjoy walking to the train after work (of course for the calories), but these past 2 days I've been hit with more and more vertigo/nausea/hearing loss which is sign that I'm in for a drop attack. Gah, the last thing I need is to fall over on Michigan ave and then have to explain that no, I'm fine, I'm ok, its just an ear thing, please don't call an ambulance.

blllaaahhhhh.

I half wrote this to get it off my chest, and also to distract me from granola bars. Seeing as how I have not much else to say, I guess I'll...drink more tea?

---

[Discussion] Sincerely not hungry
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 13:13:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qb7hj/sincerely_not_hungry/
---
I know a lot of people struggle with food on this sub (as far as staying away from it), so a part of me was hesitant to post this because I don't want anyone to feel bad about it.


However, I'm at the point in my ED where I am just never hungry and rarely crave anything. The last time I had an ED was senior year of high school and this "loss of appetite" feeling was very similar. And it's kind of worrying.


Maybe it's just what happens after you cross over a particular hump that your body accepts and starts operating normally as if I was fasting or something? I would love to hear from anyone who can empathize.

---

[Help] Lanugo vs normal body hair?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jun 28 12:17:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qawx1/lanugo_vs_normal_body_hair/
---
Okay, so I've noticed recently that the hair on my arms is thicker than I thought. Now I'm wondering whether it's just thicker than I realised and/or I'm just blowing it up now due to paranoia, or whether it's the dreaded lanugo.

Anyone able to explain how to tell the difference? I am Jon Snow and know nothing.

---

[Discussion] Lowish BMI and high body fat?
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 12:02:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qatli/lowish_bmi_and_high_body_fat/
---
Sorry on mobile and cannot flair. So I never thought of myself as skinny fat (or even skinny for that matter) and I always thought I had muscles but yesterday I had a bone density scan (hurray for paid medical testing) and was shocked at the results. My BMI was in the low normal range, but my body fat was 30%!! I've been told I look more like 25% and a few months ago before I lost weight I was 28%. I lost over 10lbs but don't understand how I lost muscle and gained fat. I run everyday and weight train every other day. Am I not eating enough protein/calories to support muscle gain and fat loss?

---

[Discussion] What is your favorite broth?
/u/PinkFluffyKiller [5'6 | 158 | 25.5 | -22 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 11:32:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qansw/what_is_your_favorite_broth/
---
I have recently started drinking chicken broth to keep me full throughout the day, I cant believe I had never thought of that before joining this group (thanks!). I have used real boxed broth and made my own which is the best taste but time consuming. Typically bouillon cube are the easiest but some of them have higher sodium than I would like and they just dont taste very good. What is your favorite brand?

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[Discussion] Children's Vitamins?
/u/dazeyheadmayzie [5'4" | 98.8 | 17.29 | -29 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 11:28:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qamxj/childrens_vitamins/
---
Hey guys,
I know vitamins and supplements area topic of frequent discussion, so please forgive me if this has been asked recently but do any of you take children's vitamins? If so how do they work for you? I was specifically looking into the Flintstone's complete gummy vitamin. They have fewer calories than the brand I've been taking and they're more cost effective, however I'm a little nervous they won't be strong enough. Advice/suggestions welcome! <3

---

[Discussion] What health problems have resulted from your ED?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Tue Jun 28 11:12:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qajsf/what_health_problems_have_resulted_from_your_ed/
---
I've never been skinny enough to have serious complications related to weight status, but it does turn out that my general feeling-like-shit-all-the-time-lately is gastroparesis (nerve damage resulting in delayed stomach emptying). Lovely. Super scared and mad at myself about giving myself a potentially chronic health problem, and a weird one too—like, I'm not even thin, why do I have bizarre complications? Like I'm not even ED-ing right.

I'm also weirdly ashamed of letting my ED "show" in this way, I've always been proud of looking together—well-adjusted and healthy and strong—and I don't know what it means if I have an outward sign that I'm sick.

And finally this is horrible logic but I really didn't feel this bad/notice heavy symptoms until I started trying to eat more normally. Turns out that hey I can't even if I want to. Soooo lol forget recovery. Fml.

Can anyone commiserate/make me feel like less of a freak?

---

[Thinspo] I am in LOVE with Pia Mia's thighs and waist
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 118.8 lbs | 24.43 | -23 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 11:08:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qaix3/i_am_in_love_with_pia_mias_thighs_and_waist/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0it_zMP-EM

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[Discussion] 'of course I haven't lost weight, this dress still fits fine'
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 10:04:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qa6hk/of_course_i_havent_lost_weight_this_dress_still/
---
I brought a dress in a super small size for a party and as it got nearer and it didn't fit I was forced to buy the next size up :( I am a fatty. But I kept the smaller one and as I lost weight I got rid of the larger one. When my SO/parents/friends commented that I was losing a lot of weight and looking worried (as if you needed to worry I am a whale) I was able to say 'look i still fit into the dress from Sam's party and that was months ago, I am clearly not losing weight' and it totally worked. I have done it more than once now with skirts etc. It's even better if you can say 'as if look at how tight this skirt is on me compared to last month'
Can't do it too much, but works every now and again.

Anyone else have any tips for not worrying your family/friends?

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 28 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4qa649/daily_food_diary_june_28_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] Any chicken flavored non-chicken broth/bouillon?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Jun 28 09:09:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q9wcq/any_chicken_flavored_nonchicken_brothbouillon/
---
I recently stopped eating poultry and red meat. The idea of it personally just disgusts me because of how meat is processed/manufactured and how animals live (my father has a farm, so I know what treating animals well and humanely looks like, I'm just still not into it)

But anyyyway, I got veggie broth to use in place of my chicken broth.

It tastes like ass.

I love veggies, eat so many raw, but something about this makes my stomach turn. And I got a name brand one so I don't think it's a brand-to-brand taste difference or whatever.

Is there a such thing as chicken flavored.. non chicken broth? lol
What about Ramen packs? Do they really have chicken in them?

---

[Goal] My diet for the next week issss -
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Jun 28 08:47:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q9sdn/my_diet_for_the_next_week_issss/
---
FiberOne cereal, almond milk, apple sauce, and Miralax.

If my stomach doesn't look amazing after all that by the 4th, then I'll just give up lol

---

[Help] help : mpa blocked by stupid wifi filter & they block vpns
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 28 08:46:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q9s4z/help_mpa_blocked_by_stupid_wifi_filter_they_block/
---
trying to make a new account on mpa but my new broadband blocks mpa under ' suicide & self harm ' and i can't access it without a vpn. however, mpa blocks vpns from even loading the site... anyone know what i can do?

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[Discussion] What would your ideal 'proED' website include and have? [Survey for help designing blog]
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 07:25:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q9el7/what_would_your_ideal_proed_website_include_and/
---
Here lately I've been spending a lot of time looking at food porn and getting nothing worthwhile accomplished during work.

I'm considering starting a 'pro-ana' 'proed' site. You know, the typical 'recipe here, thinspo here, one more recipe than never updated again' type blog, but hopefully maintained and updated on the reg.

I would appreciate your feedback on what you like / dont like about the current websites and blogs you go to.

- What things do you enjoy seeing, search for, or reading?

-what kinds of things annoy you, make you roll your eyes, or do not have any value for you?

- Any other ideas, suggestions? Anyone want to be involved? Let me know.

I want the main focus to be 'safe' recipes or food finds. Ways to eat out, at events, etc. Printable grocery lists. Meal Plans.

Will also have a few sections for things like thinspo, workouts(?), maybe a page that links to online games for distraction purposes, books/movies list, that kind of thing.

thanks ahead of time if you can take the time :)

---

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A June 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 28 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q922e/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_june_28_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] Low calorie, nutritious, quick and easy meal ideas for when you need to eat but don't have the energy to cook or prep!
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jun 28 05:55:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q916t/low_calorie_nutritious_quick_and_easy_meal_ideas/
---
Can we have a thread like this? (*I know tips and how-tos are against the rules, but this is a how-to how to stay healthier and bring ourselves to eat well with low energy so I figured it didn't count! :P*)

Do you have any go-to meals for when you really need to eat something nutritious but don't have the energy to go cook your veggies/any sort of meal prep? Please tell me about it :D And perhaps also the benefits you've found of it - i.e, does it give you energy to work? Does it give you energy to go to the gym? Does it help you sleep? Is it particularly filling, or perhaps even comforting?

I only have a few under my belt - pretty much all involving fage, quark, PPB, raw veg or microwaved veg - and would love some more ideas for combinations.

(*Mostly asking this because I'd like to have 2 eggs tonight with my microwave veg but I have zero energy and probably wont manage to cook them.. lol.. so looking for possible alternatives*)

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[Rant/Rave] Be careful of nyquil!
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 05:15:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q8w9h/be_careful_of_nyquil/
---
I'm fasting today because I binged way to hard last night (1900 cal! Aghh!). I was going to take some nyquil this morning because I couldn't sleep but I checked the calories online first to make sure that it wasn't enough to break my fast.

You guys.. it's 186 calories a serving! Holy shit. I use nyquil almost every night. This is so fucked up.

---

[Other] Great Slam Poem! Its a must watch!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 28 05:10:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q8vqt/great_slam_poem_its_a_must_watch/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmDVEUsTMH8

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Three weeks to lose as much weight as possible.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 28 04:59:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q8uh5/three_weeks_to_lose_as_much_weight_as_possible/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] UGW?
/u/tbuicoe
Created: Tue Jun 28 04:39:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q8sa7/ugw/
---
How do you guys settle on UGW? Every time I figure one out ("I'll be happy once I'm X, I'll stop restricting once I'm Y") I always meet someone that size and think they're far and adjust. Way back when this started I decided on 54kg, which has changed down to 48kg over the last two years.... I haven't even reached that first goal yet due to binging and yet I keep adjusting downward. How do you guys do it?

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[Tip] Power Breakfast! (3 egg whites, half a bellpeper, one tomato, about 100 cal! and bloody filling!)
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | FAT AF | Binging is shite | 21 / F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 03:37:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q8lhj/power_breakfast_3_egg_whites_half_a_bellpeper_one/
---
http://i.imgur.com/scamg0q.jpg

---

[Thinspo] Yolandi is my thinspo <3
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 112.8lbs | 16.9 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 02:21:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q8dsf/yolandi_is_my_thinspo_3/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8nrF5aXPlQ

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[Rant/Rave] I don't want the pizza anymore [rant].
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 63kg (141lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Tue Jun 28 00:09:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q7yra/i_dont_want_the_pizza_anymore_rant/
---
"I've noticed you're eating more. Or hate eating less. I'm glad."

"I'm just glad that you are actually eating and being safe."

I'm not. I don't want to eat, I don't want to recover. I don't want you to worry, of course, but I want to be worrying-ly skinny. I want to cry. I feel like that means I don't have this ED, that I made it all up and I'm really a fat wannabe.

Those are direct quotes. I.. I know he means well but- I don't understand why him saying that is _insanely_ distressing. I'm sorry that I'm rambling. Why am I upset about this?

---

[Rant/Rave] Rant (How do I stay sane while on a road trip with SO?)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 27 23:16:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q7sck/rant_how_do_i_stay_sane_while_on_a_road_trip_with/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Study of a (over) year-long fast!
/u/slytherlin [5'5" | CW: 130 | GW:110 | NB]
Created: Mon Jun 27 20:34:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q760e/study_of_a_over_yearlong_fast/
---
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2495396/

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[Discussion] keytones in urine- what does this actually mean?
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Mon Jun 27 20:16:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q7376/keytones_in_urine_what_does_this_actually_mean/
---
so apparently i have that. my pbf is still 19.5 which is still normal so i cant be too starving. but my doctor said it means im starving and need to eat more... which motivates me to eat less(usually its the opposite). like i walked around a whole foods for an hour after and couldnt find anything wtf is wrong with me haha

---

[Help] Question
/u/prettyemogirl14
Created: Mon Jun 27 20:14:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q72uo/question/
---
Does it count as fasting still If your thinking of chewing and spit? I want this doughnut but I don't know if I should, please answer

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[Rant/Rave] ??? rant thing
/u/knittycat822
Created: Mon Jun 27 19:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q6tsh/rant_thing/
---
apparently my boyfriend checks up on my other Reddit account every now and then and knows I'm not ~actually~ trying to recover like he wants me to

and he's upset with me and I'm having a panic attack and I just. really want to die I want to kill myself and I don't even care if I die fat any more lmao

I'm so done with this, counting everything I eat and freaking out over numbers and lately trying to shove 900 calories into myself to make him happy I'm just so done with all of it I give up

I have a bottle of sleeping pills but they aren't a lethal dose at my current weight. I need to be three pounds lighter for them to kill me, how funny is that, a kick in the ass from the universe to lose more

I'm dissociating hard rn mods can delete this is they want I don't even care I just needed to post somewhere I don't know what to do

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[Help] How to stop emotional binge eating.
/u/Someone_Who_Isnt_You
Created: Mon Jun 27 19:07:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q6sl5/how_to_stop_emotional_binge_eating/
---
A few days ago, I planned on totally revamping my diet and fitness. I bought healthy food, got a gym membership, and bought some gym outfits. Everything was going fine until I had a HUGE fight with my mom, a very heated and we almost actually fought with each other. Now, I feel like I can't stop eating. I keep shoveling food down my throat like a pig and I feel like I'm on autopilot.

I really want to stop, but I don't know how. It's like I feel like I have to sabotage myself before I make changes in my life, it's really messed up. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

---

[Discussion] THIN - Lauren Greenfield
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 18:18:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q6kui/thin_lauren_greenfield/
---
So I discovered Lauren Greenfield when I was at college. Her book "Girl Culture" is awesome. Then I found her documentary Thin on YouTube. I've watched it a few times over the last few years. I was just wondering if anyone else had seen it? I love her work although I wonder if the subjects being filmed were damaged by the process. Also for folks that have been in a place like that, did it capture anything you experienced?

My thoughts on the people in Thin
- I feel so bad for Brittany, having her mother encourage her into an ED like that breaks my heart. Especially when she picks at the food she is eating with her daughter in the clinic and talks about what she can't have. And when Brit says 'I have a double chin again and I just want it off' all her mom can say is 'at least you don't have a mole like this' I mean that's so harsh. Tell your daughter you fucking love her and she doesn't have a double chin!
- I think Alisa wanted her body to be a whole different shape, which wasn't possible and that made things worse for her ED

Also I would find it so difficult to be in there being weighed by overweight/obese nurses. Like I would feel 0 respect for them. How can you listen to anything they say when they can't look after their own body? (I know that's harsh I just always think about it when I see them)

Sorry I can't flair discussion, I'm on my mobile.

---

[Rant/Rave] My store just had the best sale ever!
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Mon Jun 27 18:14:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q6k81/my_store_just_had_the_best_sale_ever/
---
The sale they are running this week is buy two boxes of crystal light, get three free. Limit of one offer per day. These things are basically the only way to get me to drink water, and at $3 a box, they take up a fair bit of my budget.

I now have 5 boxes waiting for me, and I'm probably gonna go back tomorrow and get 4 more. This is amazing! I'm so excited!

---

[Tip] Awesome spinich dinner for 200 cal. Info in comments.
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 17:27:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q6cvq/awesome_spinich_dinner_for_200_cal_info_in/
---
http://imgur.com/a/m23se

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] away from home with family for a few days...
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Mon Jun 27 17:09:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q69xt/rantrave_away_from_home_with_family_for_a_few_days/
---
...and most likely no chance to restrict or lose anything. Just had Chinese food with them all and probably binged on it, pretty sure my sister was judging me and thinking about how much of a gross fat bastard I am, we are probably gonna be getting fast food again tomorrow and we're going for a meal on Wednesday so I can pretty much guarantee I'm gonna gain at least a couple of pounds this week. Can't even weigh myself either cos there's no scales here. I just need it to be next week so I can start fasting properly and finally lose weight again:(

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[Intro] [Intro] I'm not me when I'm fat, but I'll always be the fat me. How about you?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 27 16:59:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q68ba/intro_im_not_me_when_im_fat_but_ill_always_be_the/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] thigh gap
/u/prettyemogirl14
Created: Mon Jun 27 16:48:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q66fu/thigh_gap/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/96ef7efd44f749d1b24ed24a027277b2?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c2d3f7ca38a6e4e77462743baebbf77d

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[Rant/Rave] Fuck my life.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Mon Jun 27 16:45:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q65y2/fuck_my_life/
---
Today I discovered that the family I nanny for own a scale. Me being me, I weighed myself for the first time in about 2 years.

I'm 20 pounds heavier than I thought I was. Instead of bordering on being a healthy weight, I'm overweight. I wish I could say this only motivates me more. But I have a lot of shit going on in my life right now and this just pushed me over the edge.

I'm so so sick of constantly being a disappointment to not only myself, but everyone around me.

I really just want to die. There's no point in me being alive.

---

[Rant/Rave] Alright so I'm up 4lbs and even though it's the end of the day that I weighed myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 27 16:41:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q655j/alright_so_im_up_4lbs_and_even_though_its_the_end/
---
[deleted]

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Annoyed
/u/prettyemogirl14
Created: Mon Jun 27 16:36:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q64cw/annoyed/
---
[removed]

---

[Intro] Why I am here.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 27 16:09:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q5zyg/why_i_am_here/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Summer food blues
/u/bookofbluesysaturday [5'7 | 149 | 23.3 | -23 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 15:36:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q5ubj/summer_food_blues/
---
My weight has plateaued since my fiance came home from grad school for the summer :(

I'm so glad he's here, but at the same time, I always overeat when I'm with him. It's like hunger straight up affects me differently when he is present. During the semester when I was by myself, I could eat 600-800 calories a day while running two miles three times a week and feel alright. Now that he's back, when I feel hungry it freaks me out and I feel like we have to get food right that moment, resulting in me eating like 1500 calories a day. We go out to eat together way too much and eat things that I don't have calorie counts for, or we get chinese food and I binge on fried rice. It's awful and I hate it.

I'm ushering in a new policy: On days that we hang out, I'm only going to eat when I'm with him. If I can get away with it, I'll pretend like I already ate as an excuse to eat less in front of him. I'm instituting a 500 calorie limit on days that I don't see him, and a 1200 calorie limit on days when I do.

He knows I have weird food issues, but he doesn't know that I'm restricting. I hate having to hide it from him, but I know he would be super worried if he knew. I lost weight by eating healthy a few years ago, and he got all freaked out when I told him I was on a 1300 calorie a day diet back then. It's hard for him to understand because his BMR is sooo much higher than mine.

Can anyone relate?

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[Rant/Rave] lov u ppl
/u/crapbeg
Created: Mon Jun 27 14:54:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q5mo9/lov_u_ppl/
---
im drunk and i have eaten m too much today (790 kcal's vs the 470 i am meant to be having/ day ) BUT i love u ppl

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[Tip] Starbucks' strawberry lemonade refresher and a cup of chicken broth make a lovely lunch. (50 calories)
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 14:54:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q5mk2/starbucks_strawberry_lemonade_refresher_and_a_cup/
---
http://imgur.com/7arDABd

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[Help] Anxious eating is killing me and I can't stop! Help!
/u/Phantomsgf [5'2" | 144lbs | GW:125 | -16 lbs |F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 14:12:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q5f2d/anxious_eating_is_killing_me_and_i_cant_stop_help/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] A disgusting body-function rant with a happy ending?
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 152# | 26% | -38# | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 13:53:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q5bkp/a_disgusting_bodyfunction_rant_with_a_happy_ending/
---
I binged this week. I ate carbohydrates (gag). Wendy's, Chinese buffet, ice cream, hotdog, McDonald's, I fucking spread cake frosting on cookies.

Onto gastrointestinal misery: I didn't poop for 5 days. I'm not an everyday pooper to begin with, but 5 days of binge and no BM is awful. Last night I took 1/2 dose of light laxative, and 1/2 dose of stool softener, and awoke hopeful this morning. No luck. So I tried some coffee, no luck. I smoked a cigarette (which I prefer not to do, but it usually makes me poop). NO. LUCK. So I did the nuclear option: meal replacement bar sweetened with Maltitol syrup. Maltitol syrup typically gives me terrible gas and bloating and painful diarrhea, but at this point I just wanted 5 days of binged food out of my body.

Welp, it did the trick. All of it. Turns out that stool softener, laxative, coffee, cigarette, and Maltitol is the combination that empties my entire body in one big miserable rush. 10 minutes on the pot and then a bubble bath to feel clean again. I'm empty. (I know we all love feeling empty😀)

And best of all, I lost 5 pounds. FIVE. When it usually takes days to get 1 pound off, it was totally worth the lava storm of poop to drop 5 pounds in one trip to the bathroom.

I don't know why I continue to binge because it is never worth it, but this experience has definitely put me off carbohydrates for a few weeks at least .

---

[Discussion] I feel like this is weird - not sure if anyone has ever done this
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jun 27 13:48:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q5al1/i_feel_like_this_is_weird_not_sure_if_anyone_has/
---
I sometimes will make cuts in my mouth, either with teeth or fingernails. Mostly the roof of my mouth. This keeps me from eating crunchy things like potato chips, or pizza crust.

But I also really like that when I eat something spicy it hurts. Like, this is what you get for eating. Plus it will make me want to put it down quicker. I will eat purely out of hunger and nothing more since it's painful.

Anyone else, or am I a mega weirdo? lol

---

[Discussion] Losing weight and "jiggly" fat?
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Mon Jun 27 13:34:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q57yg/losing_weight_and_jiggly_fat/
---
Those of you who have successfully lost weight, did you go through a phase where your fat just seemed "jigglier" or less firm than normal? I ask because this tends to happen to me, like I'm deflating. Eventually, everything tightens back up a bit. I'm just curious if anyone else has experienced this?

xoxo

---

[Other] Win: 90 min on the stationary bike and counting. Loss: Missing a meeting at work today because I needed to stay at home at work off the weekend binge.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 12:31:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q4vlx/win_90_min_on_the_stationary_bike_and_counting/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q4vlx/win_90_min_on_the_stationary_bike_and_counting/

---

[Other] My veins are way prominent now i've lost weight, i'm not sure if I like it or am grossed out...
/u/justwanttolikemyself [5'1" | 85lbs | -61lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 12:07:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q4r6u/my_veins_are_way_prominent_now_ive_lost_weight_im/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Xb3Gwrq.jpg

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[Tip] PSA for the summer season
/u/bljjlb [5'8" | 154 | 23.16 | -11.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 11:42:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q4mdv/psa_for_the_summer_season/
---
Hello everyone!

I hope you all have been able to enjoy some sunshine this summer!!

Unfortunately, being so...fair skinned (aka pastey white)...sometimes the sun hurts me. I got pretty bad sun burn/mild sun poisoning while out on the lake the other weekend.

Besides the incredible, incredible pain, I noticed that I had gained a whopping 4 pounds and some change. *internal screaming*

BUT!

Totally didn't realize it was just because of how swollen I was! Not to mention for the next week where the swelling actually *showed*, leaving me with puffy, sausage-like cankles. Which was actually pretty good thinspo, considering it was quite a sight to see my legs so huge and gross lol.

Just thought I'd share! Plus maybe save someone a minor freak out if it happens to you in the future. <3

---

[Help] Please someone help me out, it would me so much if i could have some insight on whats going on with my body right now!!
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Mon Jun 27 11:19:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q4hzj/please_someone_help_me_out_it_would_me_so_much_if/
---
okay. I am very nearing my UGW (105) i was 111.4 Saturday, usually i have around 200-300 cals a day. This weekend i splurged quite a bit, last night i had roughly 800? 900? but i was "bingeing" on all my safe foods. low calories things. im 115.6 today. 4 lbls in 2 days??? i know , its impossible its water weight i get it. But THAT much? I have BDD so im not sure.. do i look 115 lbls again? does it show? Im on the verge of a break down right now.

My main worry. Im assuming my mainting cals will be upwards of 1000.... HOW then? how do you guys maintain an underweight BMI. I dont get it and im scared shitless to attempt to try and maintain when i get there, because obviously i gain so easily. Im so sorry if this seems scattered. But im the most stressed out ive ever been.

I know that "starvation mode" doesnt exist really, so someone , anyone, any insight here?

Also ... i rely on laxatives to have a BM. They just do NOT happen for me if i dont. Ive tried all the fibre pills, chews ect... it just doesn't seem to work. Is this my ultimate problem? I usually take my laxitives 2 sometimes 3 times a week.

I used to just hate the OUTSIDE of my body. Now im beginning to hate the inner workings of my body. Please tells me im not crazy, that my body isnt different. any help would be so. so appreciated.

Thanks :(

---

[Discussion] Food dreams
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 11:06:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q4fav/food_dreams/
---
I've been doing really well restricting and I've been steadily losing. I haven't binged yet but I've been having the craziest binge dreams.

I keep waking up in a panic totally convinced that I ate an entire pie the night before. Last night I had the most vivid dream where I made this crazy brownie caramel cheesecake thing and ate all of it!

It's actually working out ok, I wake up with insane guilt but I didn't actually binge and then it makes it even easier not to binge.

Anyone else have dreams like this?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 27 10:03:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q434d/daily_food_diary_june_27_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Thinspo] My iPhone background after eating a churro I knew I shouldn't have at the fair last night
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 09:55:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q41pc/my_iphone_background_after_eating_a_churro_i_knew/
---
http://imgur.com/9VkSFcT

---

[Thinspo] i would do fucking anything to be as thin as i was in 2014.
/u/rosewater40oz
Created: Mon Jun 27 09:52:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q411g/i_would_do_fucking_anything_to_be_as_thin_as_i/
---
https://i.redd.it/ne7hd1wmtu5x.jpg

---

[Tip] PSI Caffeine Overdose is real. If you're a tiny human considering EC stacking, tread carefully.
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 09:44:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q3zni/psi_caffeine_overdose_is_real_if_youre_a_tiny/
---
I have been sick for two days straight. It's bad. I'll live, but tbh I probably would have been better off not stacking and just restricting and exercising minimally as I usually do. I've been bedridden b/c of symptoms, am stressed and behind on everything else I have to do, and have been fighting urges to binge and stress eat as a result.

seriously this is the worst I've ever felt in my life ~~and FYI I have had Malaria before so this really is no joke~~

edit: PSA*

---

[Other] Yoga was cancelled this morning =(
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 09:10:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q3t1o/yoga_was_cancelled_this_morning/
---
I have two hours until work now and nothing to do... might as well browse r/proED I guess! I thought I would just be doing yoga barefoot so I only brought my work shoes. Had I brought running shoes I would have gone to the gym. Oh well.

---

[Rant/Rave] Raise your hand if you hate not being to excape food
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Mon Jun 27 08:35:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q3mk2/raise_your_hand_if_you_hate_not_being_to_excape/
---
My boyfriend wanted to go on a picnic. Sure, sounds fun, except he doesn't give a fuck about calories, cooks 3 things, and now I have to make something too. I cant do the "only eating a teeny bit" cause he knows about my ed and my mental health issues have already put us in a shitty place. I dont want to eat at all today cause tomorrow my family is coming over for my graduation and I want to look perfect in my pictures and not look super gross compared to my skinny cousins. Ugh my life.

---

[Tip] Craving Mexican food? Taco Bell? Or whatever?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jun 27 08:21:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q3k6a/craving_mexican_food_taco_bell_or_whatever/
---
Black beans, rinsed and warmed in the microwave. Throw some salsa on them. If you want, maybe some shredded cheese.

Wallah.

---

[Other] Before and current progression! Down almost 9 pounds.
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 08:13:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q3iva/before_and_current_progression_down_almost_9/
---
http://imgur.com/a/1cCXy

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[Rant/Rave] sweet potatoes
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Mon Jun 27 08:07:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q3hu9/sweet_potatoes/
---
Pros: medium calorie, so heavy and bland that I don't want to eat anything else afterward.

Cons: every bite is agony.

---

[Goal] OMG I'M TWO INCHES TALLER!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jun 27 07:27:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q3bcj/omg_im_two_inches_taller/
---
Two inches taller than I thought, so my BMI is two points lower than it was! woot woot!

---

[Discussion] Is eating healthy really as expensive as everyone says it is?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jun 27 07:22:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q3al5/is_eating_healthy_really_as_expensive_as_everyone/
---
I eat pretty much produce only. So I buy fresh fruits and veggies, and just eat a lot of raw stuff.

I don't cook.. at all lol only if I have to.

But, I eat such small portions compared to "normal" people. I'm wondering if for a normal diet, if eating healthy and raw is as expensive as most people say?

---

[Help] Nausea when restricting
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Mon Jun 27 06:58:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q36vs/nausea_when_restricting/
---
Sporadically throughout a fast I'll get these waves of nausea / dizziness-- does anyone know what I can do to minimize these?

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! June 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 27 06:03:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q2z65/weekly_stats_update_june_27_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for June 27, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Other] Back from Vacation - Happy
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 05:37:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q2w5s/back_from_vacation_happy/
---
Hi lovelies

I am back from America and although I did gain weight (I lacked self control and ate a TON of food) it was nowhere near what I expected. Realistically I thought I could gain 6+lbs as I guessed my intake to be 3000+ calories per day if not more but I almost died when I weighed myself today and had only gained 3lbs. I think some of that might even be waterweight/retention. I can't tell you how guilty and worried I was feeling and how happy I am now. I know its daft to be happy because of a gain and it will take me 2 weeks to get back to where I was, and I am still far from my GW but it could have been so much worse! I guess all the walking helped.

Anyway I just wanted to share because you were all really helpful and supportive with my panic before/during the trip.

Now I can go back to restricting and hitting the gym : D

---

[Thinspo] That ED recovery tattoo is ironic, but at least I am starting to feel pretty again.
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 02:47:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q2e6h/that_ed_recovery_tattoo_is_ironic_but_at_least_i/
---
https://imgur.com/a/cbhs7

---

[Help] long family vacation — HELP!
/u/bloopitybloopblop [4'11" | 94 | 20.29 | | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 02:17:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q2b4b/long_family_vacation_help/
---
First time poster here! Later this year, my family is going on a month-long vacation overseas, and staying with extended family and friends. Pretty much all gatherings/outings will revolve around food and obviously I'm panicking A LOT.
Also I have no idea how I'm going to keep my frequent laxative use on the DL, since I won't have my usual luxuries of solitude and time.
Any advice as to how to deal with the distress and claustrophobia of a situation like this?
I have no idea how i'm going to manage restriction without anyone catching on/making comments.
Thanks in advance!!

---

[Help] What's the most weight you can lose in a month?
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 01:29:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q25y5/whats_the_most_weight_you_can_lose_in_a_month/
---
I am currently at 127 and would like to lose about 10-15 pounds in a month. I've been keeping under around 800 calories a day and have tried fasting some days (though I've been mostly unsuccessful) and have lost about 6 pounds in three weeks. I do not work out but would like to try running and some ab workouts to tone up. What's the most y'all have lost in a month and how did you do it?

Ps: can't flair right now, I'm on my phone

---

[Help] Trying to lean with EC stacks and restriction, is it possible?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Mon Jun 27 00:42:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q20or/trying_to_lean_with_ec_stacks_and_restriction_is/
---
Every morning I go out for a run. I hate running but it's the only way I'll actually force myself to exercise.

I have my hands on some Primatene and plan to take coffee has my caffeine.

I've heard things about not doing cardio while on EC stacks, but also that EC stacks kinda help curb with hunger. This helps out with my restriction of only 125 calories a day. If I do sprints, a couple of hours later I just want some protein or carbs. I let myself have some the other day, but felt so shitty afterwards. I felt so bloated and gross.

I hate my legs and I really want to lean them out, as well as my whole body. Would it be possible to lean out with EC stacks and restriction?

---

[Rant/Rave] The Maudsley Method is tearing my world apart...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 26 23:36:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q1t1a/the_maudsley_method_is_tearing_my_world_apart/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] fitting into my prom dress!
/u/bumblers [5'8"| 125.3 | -20 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 23:06:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q1p3i/fitting_into_my_prom_dress/
---
So, this year I'm graduating, and obviously that means going to prom.

I was NOT excited for it, to say the least. Flash photography to capture every part of me... no thanks. Plus I couldn't find a dress.

Over spring break though, I did find a dress! It was perfect, but I juuuuuust barely fit into it. It was a size 2.

I've been freaking out, thinking I gained weight and that it wouldn't fit, because I've been binging at parties and stuff, but guess what!

IT FITS! WITH ROOM!

Guys, I am so happy. I have a long way to go, but I couldn't have made it to a 2 without you all! <3

---

Your displayed stats
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 26 22:39:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q1liz/your_displayed_stats/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Feeling dizzy and light headed
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 22:29:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q1k3o/feeling_dizzy_and_light_headed/
---
I think I might be hypoglycemic, or have low blood pressure or something, because when I restrict (really at all) I get very light headed and dizzy. Yesterday I bought some power-aid zero and it helped a bit, but today I ate more than most days of restricting but I felt like I was in a haze all day long (even after drinking the power-aid). I know it's not dehydration because I drink tea pretty much all day as well as a few big glasses of water now and then. Is this something that you guys deal with as well? It's sad trying to talk to my parents and have to concentrate on sounding fine and happy while I really feel like I'm teetering on the verge of sanity. I am so bad at lying and when my mom asks me if I'm feeling alright, I always use the excuse of drinking too much coffee and feeling a bit light headed from the caffeine. Really, I just was wondering if you guys have any tips for dealing with light headedness. Any low cal snacks or beverages that get you out of the haze but allow you to continue restricting. Thanks in advance!

---

[Discussion] On the Verge of a Relapse...Need Advice (long post, sorry)
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Sun Jun 26 20:54:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q16bq/on_the_verge_of_a_relapseneed_advice_long_post/
---
Hi this is my very first post. A bit of history:

* Developed Bulimia in 2002, at age 12
* Was on and off with binge/purge, restricting cycles for the next 8 years
* Relapsed hardcore in 2011, after having over two years of pure hell in my life (everything from parents getting divorced, to being raped, to leaving school and having a total breakdown), and being in a seriously emotionally abusive relationship with a man ten years older than me
* Went into ED rehab a week before my 21st birthday, where they got me away from him, and where I truly did get healthy
* I was prescribed Lithium a month after getting out of rehab (woohoo for also being diagnosed with bipolar!), which led to me gaining 30 pounds
* Have struggled to get back to my goal weight, this time in a healthy way, with some success on the 21 Day Fix (sabotaged by living with my boyfriend, who eats like crap, doesn't workout, gets bored with or belittles my workouts, and enables me to do the same)

So now I'm at the heaviest I've ever been, and I'm recovering from having broken my ankle in three places this January. I was doing great with the 21 Day Fix (7 pounds in a week!), until I had surgery two and a half weeks ago (two weeks after starting the program) to remove three of the 14 screws that were in my leg. As a result, I haven't been able to work out, and even before that, I've had to do a lot of modification in my workouts (which used to be a struggle, but I could actually do all the moves). So I've been able to maintain the 7 pound weight loss by some miracle, over the last month since having to stop working out. But lately, especially this past week, I've been struggling really hard with bingeing and purging. I've started feeling super full any time I eat anything, no matter how little the amount. So purging feels like the only way to get rid of that feeling (or I could eat better, but *damn* that's expensive). Further, I realized that I've missed purging; the way it feels, the way I feel after, that rush I get from having a secret, and the adrenaline kick I get from it. However, as my username would suggest, I'm an opera singer. I'm worried about the potential damage to my voice if I relapse (really that's my only major concern here), though the last big relapse I had I had some of the biggest vocal improvements I've ever had. I'm just worried that that was a fluke, and won't happen this time around, as I'm trying to get ready to apply to grad schools and whatnot. I guess I really just want to know what other people think. And if anyone has any tips on how to hide this from my boyfriend (we live together), or help keep him from getting suspicious. thank you so much for reading and for bearing with me.

---

[Other] Green tea pills?
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 20:39:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q13yh/green_tea_pills/
---
Anyone have any experiences they can share with me after using green tea pills? I want to try them out to control urges to binge and have heard good things about them. Green tea itself doesn't seem to do the trick for me unfortunately.

If anyone have other suggestions for pills/supplements I could take, that would be much appreciated :)

---

[Discussion] Thinspo music?
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 20:18:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q10lp/thinspo_music/
---
What kind of songs/artists do you guys listen to for thinspo? Or songs that are related to EDs in general?

I found [this](https://soundcloud.com/megumiband/milkweed) while browsing some of the older posts on here, and I really like it. Do you guys know of similar songs or artists?

---

[Tip] Epic Meal Time
/u/starry_daydreamer [4'11" | 99 lbs | 21.2 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 20:11:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q0zmf/epic_meal_time/
---
I don't know if this has been mentioned before but Epic Meal Time is so good for not bingeing it just makes everything look so disgusting it's wonderful.

---

[Help] Question for us alchies
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 20:03:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q0yfo/question_for_us_alchies/
---
Edit: on mobile, please excuse lack of flair

I know a ton of us will starve all day and drink all night (guilty). I love my vodka but dammit sometimes I just crave a beer.

I have been steadily dropping lbs (or 1/5 lbs) but I love the taste of beer and every time I have one or two I either just maintain or even gain the next day or two regardless of zero solid intake. Any suggestions for curbing that beer craving or a low cal beer that satisfies the urge?

---

[Other] Sunday motivation
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 17:50:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q0fa8/sunday_motivation/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Kml8Tqo.jpg

---

[Help] Is "survival mode" real? Does restricting really screw up your metabolism? Scared about what to do after hitting goal weight...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 16:18:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4q014q/is_survival_mode_real_does_restricting_really/
---
I'm scared maintaining my ugw going to be an enormous hassle if what everyone says is true about cutting calories slowing down your metabolism... I don't want to be at huge risk of gaining all the weight back faster than I lost it. I can control myself and avoid excessive binging, I'd just be going back to eating like I did (i.e. at least three meals a day, not avoiding bread like it was the plague, etc.) Will I be OK?

---

[Tip] When breakfast and lunch are one meal, I can get a little decadent and have two slices of bread. (340 calories)
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 15:12:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pzqtw/when_breakfast_and_lunch_are_one_meal_i_can_get_a/
---
http://imgur.com/c4wy9zV

---

[Other] 0 calorie frozen lemonade!!!!
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 14:36:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pzl50/0_calorie_frozen_lemonade/
---
I just wanted to share this with you guys for those hot summer days :)


Ingredients:

1. 3 cups ice
2. 2/3 cup cold water
3. 4 packets artificial sweetener of choice (or more, if you prefer it sweeter)
4. 1/2 cup lemon juice

Blend until smooth. Serves 2.

It tends to get a little slushy at the top, so you can actually scoop it up and eat it like ice cream! ~~And of course, it's 0 calories!~~

**Edit:** It's 28 calories, not 0 :( Sorry guys, I used myfitnesspal to check the caloric content of a bottled lemon juice and it said 0 calories. I guess I was too overzealous.

---

[Help] Fasting in the heat? Advice appreciated, please.
/u/tbuicoe
Created: Sun Jun 26 14:32:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pzkk2/fasting_in_the_heat_advice_appreciated_please/
---
Any and all advice you kind ladies and gentlemen can offer would be much appreciated!

I'm currently on holiday in Spain with my family. Unfortunately, for the past 2 months I have been suffering from an ankle injury that left me unable to do much exercise, and I trapped myself into an awful binge/restrict cycle that has left me about two stone heavier than I wanted to be for this trip (64kg rather than 54 - insane).

To make matters worse, everyone here in Spain is so lovely and slender and toned. I feel awful even wearing shorts, I'm so fat and lumpy and pale, and I haven't been able to go swimming for fear of being seen like this. Today, two of the most beautiful and ethereal girls I have ever seen moved into the caravan next to us. I can't help but look over there and feel worse about myself when I see them, and I know I won't survive the week if I don't do something drastic.

I really want to fast tomorrow, to reclaim that empty feeling that is so controlled, so poignant. But I'm really afraid of passing out in this heat. I'm used to Irish/British weather, but here it's 30-35 degrees Celsius every day. I already agreed to run a 5k with my brother every morning (I'm afraid he'll know I've relapsed if I pull out now) and we haven't hired a car, so we will be cycling everywhere (10-20k at a time, typically hilly) and walking lots in the middle of the day. I cannot overstate how poorly I cope with the heat!

Please can anyone offer any help or advice for this task? Also, how to hide the fact I am fasting from my family? I get up really early for my run, so I can definitely tell them that I ate breakfast before they woke up, but they'll expect me to eat lunch out with them, and because I'm gluten intolerant, they always make a separate dinner for me, which they will notice if I do not eat...!

Please, can anyone offer any advice?

---

[Help] antibiotics?
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Sun Jun 26 14:07:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pzgbl/antibiotics/
---
I am on antibiotics that need to be taken with food. Ive been doing egg whites and veggies in the am and quest bar at night. I tried a few peices of cereal with both yesterday to see if carbs would help but ah getting the worst stomach aches still... any suggestion?

---

[Thinspo] Collarbones
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: 2fat4me | GW: 121 | UGW: 108 | F22]
Created: Sun Jun 26 11:36:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pyrvh/collarbones/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/qD19X

---

[Other] Bittersweet donation rejection
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 11:27:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pyqjn/bittersweet_donation_rejection/
---
So the past few donations, Ive had to trick their scales.

I ate late last night, drank two huge bottles of water this morning, out every hair clip I had under my ponytail, put coins in my shoes and bra, heavy pendants in my pockets, and weighed with my hoodie on. They showed my weight as 151. Top level weight.

I was 143 this morning. I won the game! Im a pro, past experience.

Then the took my temp. 95.6 degrees. Uhhh, what?

They asked if Id had water recently. Yes, I always do. Had me wait 15 minutes. I swished saliva, breathed heavily, anything to get warmth on my tongue while I googled what could cause this. (Diabetes, stress, weight loss, hypothyroidism, organ failure, drug abuse.)

Temp again. 96 degrees. They call the Dr in, tells me to wear a jacket next time and come again tomorrow.

I leave somewhat overjoyed. Thing about plasma donation is they check your vitals. All mine have been fine. Now Im having problems, meaning maybe I'm feeling the effects of losing weight, meaning at least I can get one thing right, even if its self destruction.

So now I have to artificially gain 8 pounds and drive while I wear a sweater with the heat on when I go to donate.

Thing is I don't feel unwell, I really don't understand why I'm showing a low temp when I don't feel abnormally cold.

Maybe if it wasn't 60 degrees in there all the time >:(

But most of their donors are obese.

I'm probably the smallest person Ive seen there, and Im not even that skinny.

Tricking the scales has become a very fun challenge to be that continues to get more complicated.

---

[Discussion] Question for fellow FtM/FtNB people
/u/slytherlin [5'5" | CW: 130 | GW:110 | NB]
Created: Sun Jun 26 10:48:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pykeq/question_for_fellow_ftmftnb_people/
---
Do y'all check female or male when calculating your TDEE? .__.;; I'm about five months on T and generally pass as male. But like, at what point does my TDEE go up? I've been just checking female because I'm paranoid but yeah idk.

---

[Rant/Rave] Okay so I kind of am in love
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Jun 26 10:47:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pykak/okay_so_i_kind_of_am_in_love/
---
I sometimes need something really crunchy, salty and nacho like in my life.

Today I mixed some tomato ketchup with tabasco, pepper and garlic poeder. I used it as a dip for a head of lettuce. It worked so well and it was super filling!

---

[Help] I can't stop binging.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 26 10:47:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pyk7s/i_cant_stop_binging/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] Dealing with hunger pains
/u/etizbabe
Created: Sun Jun 26 10:41:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pyjgu/dealing_with_hunger_pains/
---
Take an antacid like Gaviscon or whatever's available where you live. It's very effective.

I hope this type of post is allowed if not I'll delete it.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jun 26 10:02:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pyd75/daily_food_diary_june_26_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Other] Update and plans
/u/Myuuji [169 | 51.6 | 18.07 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 26 07:31:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pxrcw/update_and_plans/
---
So, I posted a week ago how I went to the doctors and had to get penicillin for E.coli for a week, and today is the last day. After dinner I will have taken the last pill and then I'm going to live at my grandmas house for a week while she is traveling. Which means I can fast for the whole week! I'm so excited and I just feel SO bloated and fat right now, I don't even want to weigh myself to see what I gained. So excited to fast for the 5 days my grandma isn't home, and living alone for those days. Posting so I can make it official, so I am more likely to not break the fast.

---

[Goal] I haven't been here for a while
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 113.6lb | 18.06 | -50.4lb | NB]
Created: Sun Jun 26 07:04:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pxo2s/i_havent_been_here_for_a_while/
---
But I'm finally underweight! Updated my flair. I'm so happy.

Upped my intake to convince my boyfriend that I'm giving recovery a try. He wants me to eat 1000 a day but thats terrifying so we compromised on 900. Luckily that should still be enough to lose on. He also doesn't realize exercise bulimia is a thing and thinks exercising is always healthy, even in excess, so my plan is to work my ass off until I reach my goal.

I want to be perfect. Not only my body, but everything about me. I want to have my life together, organized in my little pocket journal in nice lists, everything planned out and categorized and flawless. It's already getting there. Everything's going just the way I want it to and I feel great.

How have my lovelies been? I missed all of you! <3

---

[Discussion] [Discussion] has purging affected your health badly in any way?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Sun Jun 26 05:53:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pxg53/discussion_has_purging_affected_your_health_badly/
---
I want to start purging but the one thing holding me back is that I'm mad scared of fucking up my teeth. Is there any way I could prevent significant damage / is there anything else I should be wary about if I start?

---

[Rant/Rave] [Rant/rave] how do you do it? How do you have the self control?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Sun Jun 26 05:40:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pxeur/rantrave_how_do_you_do_it_how_do_you_have_the/
---
[removed]

---

[Help] Getting forced into "Recovery" by my parents [Male]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 26 00:26:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pwk56/getting_forced_into_recovery_by_my_parents_male/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] A no good, very bad week:
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Sun Jun 26 00:06:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pwhwv/a_no_good_very_bad_week/
---
I will add flair when I get home, as I have to clue how to on my phone. Thanks for your ear, this week, the honeymoon period of my self-remodeling finally, officially ended and I am writing this post for all the pretty people who are only motivated when the going is good (such as myself).


This week started well. I was at a new low, had spent some time with the maybe-future-in-laws and knocked their socks off. It was a long day anyway, as my BF's family is A LOT and I let myself get too emotionally involved in their ups and downs. I hold it together, until Monday. Monday, I've eaten maybe 300 cals and it's solstice and the boyfriend is at work, so I say to myself, fuck it, let's get a drink and celebrate our own awesomeness.


I make mistake one by not taking into account my own mental state before I leave the house. I'm a cornucopia of challenges and eccentricities, and if my therapist knew about me writing this, she'd be... Well, probably still disappointed about some ED stuff, but hopefully proud that I explained myself positively. Speaking of ED, I am working through an emotional dysregularity, which means I am having a bratty period, essentially. I'm off birth control for the first time in over a year, and I am impulsive, cranky, and experiencing anxiety in ways that border on paranoia. My headspace is a nightmare-scape. Before I traipse out into the big bad hipster-village, do I meditate, give myself affirmations, or even take a few centering breaths? No. I just put on a bustier and a pair of bib shorts and smoke a bowl.


I eat very little, drink very much (thanks social anxiety lv 11), and end up bashing my knee badly, long story short. I have no insurance, so this swollen monstrosity is getting RICEd and thoughts and prayers. And I still have to work on it. I'm a server, so this. Sucks. It's been five days and it is still crazy swollen, which is either permanent damage or 100% normal, depending on which website I choose to believe. Now my anxiety has something to claw onto, and I'm having night terrors and panic attacks.


Plus my anxiety has led to me eating shit I don't even like. It's like, carbs distract me from the fact that my leg is probably fucked up beyond repair. I am my worst version of myself... Someone please tell me my knee's okay, that I can start starving again, that pain is okay, that healing will happen.

Thanks for listening.

---

[Rant/Rave] Reconnecting with people
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 25 21:25:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pvxqf/reconnecting_with_people/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] I need to be where I was a year ago
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Sat Jun 25 20:23:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pvp4b/i_need_to_be_where_i_was_a_year_ago/
---
http://imgur.com/a/cazr4

---

[Help] Is Bronkaid discontinued?
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2.5" | 101.6lbs | 18.87 | -25.6 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 19:28:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pvhby/is_bronkaid_discontinued/
---
My friend went to get Bronkaid, and the pharmacist told her that it was discontinued. Does anybody know the deal with that? I kind of want to start EC stack..

Edit: sorry for not flairing, I'll flair when I get to a computer

Edit: it is not discontinued where I live

---

Photo weight: 101 lbs Current weight: 112.5 lbs Is it possible to lose 11ish lbs by July 4th?? There's a major party that day and I wanna look cute and not all heavy.. I plan on fasting, but I'm not sure how many days I should do this to reach my goal.. Any advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 25 17:44:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pv20p/photo_weight_101_lbs_current_weight_1125_lbs_is/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/f33a2fe8145641ab8518e986ca0e1fac?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=64d3cf345ff889bafe3a69736c670bb3

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[Tip] Cilantro-lime egg white omelette + a small peach = 140 calories of perfect breakfast
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 13:04:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ptvir/cilantrolime_egg_white_omelette_a_small_peach_140/
---
http://imgur.com/jSSdlv3

---

[Rant/Rave] "Oh, I reached a new low weight, better eat a whole bunch and f it up"
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 106.6 | 19.41 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 12:51:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pttjq/oh_i_reached_a_new_low_weight_better_eat_a_whole/
---
Self rant

SERIOUSLY why do I do this to myself??!!!!

Every.single.time.


A month ago: I get to 115, woot time to celebrate and balloon up to 117 ish.

On Monday: I get to 110... YAY let's eat all day and sky-rocket back to the 115 area.

Now I am back to 111-112 UGH I just want to be able to get to a new low weight and not immediately fuck it up.

rant over.

---

[Other] So... I finally feel cute and thin enough to talk to my work crush
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 25 12:07:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ptmmy/so_i_finally_feel_cute_and_thin_enough_to_talk_to/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] I want to jump back on the wagon, but it feels like i'm in pieces.
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Sat Jun 25 11:46:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ptjc3/i_want_to_jump_back_on_the_wagon_but_it_feels/
---
Lovelies,

Anything you can share that is inspirational and reassuring is truly appreciated.

Do you have any tips for breaking the mindset of binging?

Thank you <3

---

[Help] I'm in pieces and want to get back on the wagon.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 25 11:44:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ptj3n/im_in_pieces_and_want_to_get_back_on_the_wagon/
---
[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Thinspo of me from my senior year. 5'6 ~115
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 10:45:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pt9tw/thinspo_of_me_from_my_senior_year_56_115/
---
http://imgur.com/a/fl5DQ

---

[Rant/Rave] My brothers won't stop teasing me
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 10:22:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pt636/my_brothers_wont_stop_teasing_me/
---
I'm now home from college for a little while, and I haven't even been back for a full 24 hours and my two teenaged brothers won't stop teasing me about my weight, my hair cut, my hair color, etc.

I keep brushing most of the comments off, because I know they only do it to get a rise out of me, but some of them just really hurt. "Queen, what happened when you left for college, you're so fat now." "Queen, your new bangs look bad you should've asked for a refund!" "Queen, I didn't know I was related to a ginger!" (Colored my hair red)

Shut. The. Fuck. Up. I swear to god, I love my family, but all this happens and they wonder why I never come home.

The straw that broke the camel's back was this morning when my mother set out some homemade cheese for breakfast (I live on a farm). I had 1 tiny slice & voiced how nice it was to be home and back in nature where I know where my food is coming from. My littlest brother took a look at the cheese and then looked at me, smirked and said, "Well, make sure to leave some for the rest of us!"

Ouch, okay, jackass. There goes my appetite for the rest of the day.

TL;DR - Family time is hard and my brothers aren't being kind.

---

[Other] I made a conscious decision to eat whatever the fuck I wanted for two days.
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 10:04:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pt3au/i_made_a_conscious_decision_to_eat_whatever_the/
---
And of course, my calorie count ran very high. *Very* high. I'm gonna say ~5000 calories for the first day, and I'm not even sure about the second. Safe to say that I probably have gained at least five pounds (but I only check once a week, due to my anxiety).

But you know what? I'm feeling more motivated than ever. I don't want to thoughtlessly cram food into my mouth like I did for the past two days. I actually have to host a dinner party tonight and I'm making some food right now. I have no desire to even taste any of it.

My biggest obstacle is my mother, who's going to insist I eat or taste what we make today. But I'm going to plan out my entire day and I won't go over my calorie budget. I'm actually really excited. I know I won't be happy with what weight shows up on my scale on Monday morning, I've accepted that (and I'm going to update my flair accordingly).

And I'm ready to try to reach my goal weight without becoming overcome by the need to binge.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jun 25 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pt2zm/daily_food_diary_june_25_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] "Boyfriend" and Family Making me Feel Worse + Storytime
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 09:30:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4psy79/boyfriend_and_family_making_me_feel_worse/
---
To start: I was naturally very thin almost all of my life. As a child, I remember having classmates ring their hands around my arms and pick me up like I was some kind of circus sideshow because I was so thin. All throughout high school, I was between 90 and 95 lbs naturally. I didn't diet, and actually had a really horrible stamina from never working out and living off of chocolate and crap. TLDR: I was unhealthy, but it didn't show like you think it would.

I am also really short and have a serious baby face. I was *very* used to people thinking I was in elementary school even in my late teens -- I had a boy in 10th grade tell me I could pass for 10 year old if I really wanted to (which was probs an exaggeration but yeah, you get what I'm working with). Strangers always referred to me as a little girl, my mom would take me to get blood tested for anemia or diabetes regularly since she'd given up on trying to force me to eat well, and I had to work twice as hard to have people listen to me at work because most would assume I was half my age. I'm not saying any of this was a good thing or a bad thing, but by this point it was all I'd known: I'd accepted being tiny as part of my life and a part of who I was.

Fast forward to two years ago. I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety and prescribed medicine that made me gain 40 lbs in a year. It was so sudden, but I didn't really notice at first because I'd never been one to notice my weight... but then I started to notice changes in the people around me. My parents stopped complaining about how thin I was I figured it was just because they were finally growing up. When I was meeting up with friends, one of them (who was really thin) said something about how the wind would blow her away, but that everyone else (including me) would be fine. Boys stopped flirting with me. One day at work, I was at the register and a man told his son to say thank you to the nice lady. Lady. LADY.

When I was standing at the bus stop after work one summer, I turned and looked at the windows and saw this blob of a person in my reflection. My house doesn't have any full-length body mirrors, so it was the first time I saw how much my body changed... and I was unrecognizable to myself! After that I got a scale, started trying to work it off, but had no real idea how to given I didn't have healthy habits to begin with. Then my ED developed, and the pounds have been dropping off, but I'm starting to feel really conflicted.

I'm not at home, but when I was all my family members (including my bratty little brothers who would never lie just to protect me, ever) would insist I was "not fat at all". I'm living with extended relatives right now, and was told the weight I'm at now is "perfect" and that I am "skinny"... but I don't believe them, even if I have lost 20 lbs. I occasionally look at my thigh gap and feel accomplished, but I still carry a lot of excess weight around my stomach and hips. Plus, these relatives gossip about me starving behind my back, so I'm positive they're just saying those things to get me to "actually eat something".

Then, embarrassingly, the thing that's had the most impact on me: I've been calling my long time crush/on-again off-again long distance boyfriend of sorts, and when I opened up to him about how I'd gained weight but was working it off so I could get back to my high school weight, he'd said I was too thin then. He and I separated after graduation so he didn't see me balloon out. This kind of hurt to hear, especially because we met in high school and that's when I felt most myself (and my most attractive). This was also hard to hear because I'm not into bonespo and am positive I wasn't skeletal when I was at 90 lbs. When I look at thinspo pictures of models with my ideal body type and try to match their BMI, it always comes down to I need to be at 90 lbs.

I'm still privately struggling with ed and restricting what I eat, but I keep going back and forth with myself about whether my UGW is going to be flattering or not. I catch myself thinking *what if my jeans don't shrink enough in the dryer and they stay ridiculously baggy on me? What if I am too bony and people stare for all the wrong reasons?* I hate my body now and am scared I'll still hate myself at my UGW. I just wanted to look like myself but now everything's a mess.

Worst thing: back when I was thin, I would hear about girls with eating disorders and feel so confused and sad for them like, "that's so unhealthy, how could they be so emotionally invested in something as superficial as their weight, society is so toxic for girls, etc."... but now I'm one of them. And I'm scared I will be forever.

---

[Help] 10 days to loose 5-6lbs. How realistic is this?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Sat Jun 25 07:33:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4psiuk/10_days_to_loose_56lbs_how_realistic_is_this/
---
Have any of you manged this? I want to look really smokin' on July 4th. I got a new bikini and haven't worn one for years. I think I'd look a lot cuter at 110lbs than the current 115.

---

[Thinspo] In preparation for my first 3-day fast, I'm sharing some of my favorite thinspo/fitspo.
/u/hellosex [5'3 | 131 lb | 23 | - 20 lb | F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 07:02:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4psf0p/in_preparation_for_my_first_3day_fast_im_sharing/
---
I work out a lot, so although I love the aesthetics of a beautiful skinny body, I know that I'm aiming for a more toned body with little body fat.

My absolute favorite thinspo is [Miley Cyrus](http://imgur.com/a/Xfueu). Seriously her body is ridiculous. Sadly I'm 5'3 so I'm never going to look like that.

I don't like [Ariana Grande](http://imgur.com/a/KdMFi) but I'm envious of how petite she is. That's more achievable for me since she's 5'1, I believe. She must be around 95 lbs.

And finally, this probably floats less people's boats, but [Emily Moran's](http://www.theveganrevolution.net/system/files/EMBDT.jpg) body is just amazing. Her abs are shredded and even though she's muscular, her arms don't look that big. I don't lift heavy, so I won't look like that. But her BF% must be so low.

Anyways, feel free to share thinspo or experiences fasting for 3 days for the first time! So far I've had my morning coffee and "evacuated", and I'm off to 2 hours of ballet, so this is a great start. Not the least bit hungry. Cheers to a great weekend, everyone!!

---

[Discussion] Would anyone be interested if I made an ED-centered podcast?
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 05:55:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ps7nd/would_anyone_be_interested_if_i_made_an/
---
I've been thinking about this for a while. The podcast would not be pro or anti. I'd want to talk about the daily struggles (feeling like you've grown a third eye while EC stacking, for example), have segment on a particular "safe food" in each episode, feature funny/entertaining/sad stories of how it's affected my life (and the lives of others once I collect those), and whatever else makes sense. After listening to the "Fat" This American Life and the other podcast posted a few months ago, I felt hungry for more connection like that and not to feel so isolated in this.

I'd love tips or advice if you have it!

---

[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend has a fetish for "chubby girls" [Rant/Rave]
/u/Martian_Queen [5'4 | 123 | 23 |0| F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 05:28:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ps4yx/boyfriend_has_a_fetish_for_chubby_girls_rantrave/
---
This is my first post after being a lurker for a while, I binge eat way too much whenever I get upset and I need to stop that. Then my boyfriend told me he has a fat fetish and finds my chubby tummy sexy. Before he constantly reminded me about how sexy my legs are and I never thought about it like that. I got upset but he doesn't know, he reworded to to chubby after I send him a huge rant. Then not even a week after that to make this shit worse he has a feeding fetish, so he gets off to the thought of me having a breakdown and binge eating. I am so confused, like I want him to find me attractive which he does right now but at the same time its like no you can't find me attractive I'm fat and chubby and ugly. And you cant fetishes my binge eating. Oh and to make matters worse he is way taller then me, doesn't eat, has smaller measurements then me and is only a few kilos heavier than me.

---

[Rant/Rave] I need some guidance :(
/u/mooonwitch [5'5''| too fat | F/22]
Created: Sat Jun 25 03:52:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4prw5b/i_need_some_guidance/
---
Sorry for no flair, I'm on mobile and will be for a while.

I've had it with myself. I recently started working as a barista for the worlds favorite siren coffee shop and while I do like it, it's created a binge monster in me.

First of all, it's like constant triggering with all the delicious drinks that I haven't tried. Luckily I don't care for the food, but whenever I go home I eat easily 2000+ calories in an hour or two. The first week I didn't go to the gym at all and this week I stared to a little. I've been trying to at least fast one or two days a week to kickstart some weight loss but I always fail.

Yesterday I ended up working 9 hours and we were so understaffed that I was feeling pretty exhausted by the end of the day having only eaten 390 calories. So I decided to allow myself to eat whatever the fuck I wanted to when I got home. I actually think it kinda helped because today I'm so disgusted with myself, I don't feel the desire to eat anything. But I have a grad party which means a other day of no self control :(

I'm so sorry for the rant but if anyone who has worked a demanding job in food service has any advice I would really appreciate it! I'm so worried this will be my life now even though I know I'm be one with control.

---

[Tip] Motivation Idea: Plan a day for shopping/eating/treating yourself out/etc when you reach your GW!
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 01:00:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4prgq8/motivation_idea_plan_a_day_for/
---
So today I got away with eating 0 calories for the first time! It was so hard, I was a bit cranky. Worst part is that I work with people all day and I did get a little passive aggressive but it wasn't shown to badly. I may try again tomorrow, maybe splurge on 1/4 of a Boca Veggie burger with some kale and 1/5 of an avocado (literally about 40 cals for that slice, but I miss it so much)

Anyways, throughout the day I was so tempted to eat. At work they had a vegetable / salad bar but I refused. All I saw were calories on the table. Mostly ranch dips, cheese, carrots, cabbage, etc it wasn't worth eating. But I went back to my desk during my break, very tempted to go back, and I decided to go on Urban Outfitters to look at all the bralettes I wanted.

Then an idea! Through my fast, I told myself I would treat myself to better cosmetics, nicer clothes, and a very good meal.

I live close by San Francisco and they have all these cute little shops and nice dining places. I thought about what outfit I would wear to go shopping, how I would treat myself to an expensive meal. I would allocated all the money I used on food on this one day and I could just walk around the city and just have a treat-yourself day. I am so excited and still can't decide where I am going to eat or what I'm going to eat! Also excited because there's a shop I've been wanting to go to but I've been too intimidate by all the size 0-2 workers there, I'll finally have confidence to go in. I would love to just walk around the city and people question how a girl like me is just so independent and doesn't need someone else around to have fun. Uggghh, I already can't wait.

**TLDR:** If you need to get your mind off food or you need motivation, plan a day out for yourself and treat yourself to what you usually don't after you reach your GW. Think of the place you want to go, what you might do there, and maybe plan out a date for yourself with wearing cute clothes and eating a nice restaurant. You'll deserve it :)

---

My old motivation photo, me at my happy weight
/u/PinkFluffyKiller [5'6 | 158 | 25.5 | -22 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 25 00:33:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4prdwr/my_old_motivation_photo_me_at_my_happy_weight/
---
http://i.imgur.com/AUGpWbG.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] Unexpected motivation at Target
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 24 23:34:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pr7lj/unexpected_motivation_at_target/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 24 22:22:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pqz9s/i_dont_know_why_i_didnt_think_of_this_sooner/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] This is one of the most recognisable stock anorexia photos, how am I just realising it was made in paint?
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 59kg (130lbs) | 19.9 | -0kg | F | 20yo]
Created: Fri Jun 24 20:47:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pqn5t/this_is_one_of_the_most_recognisable_stock/
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http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Dd5nL7CSCBk/UTsZibajGfI/AAAAAAAAABs/mhEwgdncTuk/s1600/d.jpg

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[Help] Exercise?
/u/ooo5936 [5'6" | 124.2lbs | GW: 115 | -8.6lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 20:32:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pql4d/exercise/
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I'm wondering how many people do exercise? I find that when I exercise I'm more tired and don't have the energy to do "normal" things. Does anybody have this problem and what do you do?

If you do regular exercise what do you do?

---

[Thinspo] Since kpop is where I get most of my thinspiration, here's a kpop thinspo album~ (feat. Hyuna, Nana, Jessica, etc.)
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Fri Jun 24 18:54:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pq7rq/since_kpop_is_where_i_get_most_of_my/
---
http://imgur.com/a/zpRQY

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[Help] Gastritis from purging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 24 18:40:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pq5s6/gastritis_from_purging/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I binged and dissapointed my myself but especially my mom.
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:110/UGW:85 | BMI:22.6 | Weight Lost: -6| Gender:F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 16:21:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ppki8/i_binged_and_dissapointed_my_myself_but/
---
I hate it. my doctor told me to start eating cleaner. ya know what I do? fucking eat all the icecream my mom made and a chocolate bar. I want to be able to eat without binging, not have cravings every five damn seconds, but I seem to hate myself. my mom knows I want to lose weight, as she's heard my constant lamenting. now she knows why. I just want her to believe in me now. She's even said it to my face,

"You complain about gaining weight, but you eat all the ice cream? There's so much sugar. It's no use."

Those words just fucking kill me. I want to lose weight...I've gained 10 fucking pounds already. She's right and I want to make things right.

---

[Help] Troubles
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 16:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pphg4/troubles/
---
I'm having troubles trying to find low cal wraps I know one is called XTREME and it's available at some Walmarts but not anywhere near me. I was wondering if anyone knew either how to make them at home or where to buy them online not in bulk. I feel like filling them with tomato and spinach and shrimp would be more filling than just eating them alone.

---

[Rant/Rave] Frustrations with vanity sizing
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Fri Jun 24 15:44:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ppece/frustrations_with_vanity_sizing/
---
Today I went out to target to find a cute dress for my bf's show tonight. Every dress that I though was cute was too big on me, even in xs. Well that blows so I walk across the street to Marshall's. Only cute dress I found was a free people size 2 and it's still kind of loose on me. I got because free people dresses are my bread and butter, but if I keep striving for my goals I'll probably have to take it in.

Now normally I'd be ecstatic, but I know it's just a big ol' lie on that label. I'm 5'2.5" and granted my scale isn't the most accurate but I'm around 118lbs. That's not size 2/xs territory as much as I'd like to be. When I reach my goal weight will I even be able to shop anywhere that isn't higher end? Screw you people that shifted this scale to accommodate Americans' ever expanding waistlines. Plus sized girls used to complain about how they can't shop anywhere except specialty stores. Now it's like everything's shifted and a tiny girl is shit out of luck.

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[Goal] I just went shopping and got size 0 pants
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 24 15:33:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ppcma/i_just_went_shopping_and_got_size_0_pants/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Had a body comp analysis today
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 15:15:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pp9j8/had_a_body_comp_analysis_today/
---
They told me i should gain 15lbs. Go Home, analyst, you're drunk.

All i saw was that i have a total of 23lbs of body fat, and I'm 19.7% bodyfat, with a bmi of 19.

If you're curious to see my stats [click here](https://imgur.com/htt8Gqt)

I think knowing my BMR is good though, which would explain why i was still losing a lot when i was averaging 1100 a day which gave me an almost 200 cal deficit (not counting exercise deficit as well... )

Anyways.

Body stuff.

---

[Rant/Rave] Anyone else deal with not being able to go down in bra size (TMI)?
/u/xshinystickerx [Height 5'0" | CW 107 | BMI 20 | Weight Lost 15lbs | UGW 95]
Created: Fri Jun 24 13:33:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4porff/anyone_else_deal_with_not_being_able_to_go_down/
---
I have ridiculous and unnaturally large breasts for my height. I have to go to really high end stores or order bras online to get ones that fit me. Once I graduate college I will be able to get a breast reduction. I can't afford one while i'm paying for classes, so I have to wait. I know that when I go down to a normal size my weight will drop, but until that point i'm just working out like crazy. I'm frustrated though because when I lose weight I can see my ribcage better but my breasts don't ever go away. Even at my lowest weight they were still huge.
I know most people would be thrilled to have this problem but I have crazy back problems because of it and they make me look so fat and heavy in pictures...they just don't match the rest of my body damn it!
UGH. Thanks for reading. There's not much I can do about it until next winter when i'm done with school.

---

[Thinspo] Collar bones
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 12:43:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4poi2s/collar_bones/
---
http://imgur.com/UAiqYRv

---

[Rant/Rave] thank you serendipity
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 11:54:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4po8bw/thank_you_serendipity/
---
Mid way this week conjugal mustache told me we're taking a family trip to his mother's lake house over the weekend. Rational tinymum was excited! I'd been wanting to visit the lake house for a while, and how fun would it be for babyman to splash about in a lake for the first time (plus I've been itching to put on a bikini and show off my progress).

However ED tinymum went into panic mode, since ED tinymum just got over the sundae bar fiasco and was seriously not anticipating anymore socializing until the end of the month. ED tinymum was dreading the visit because socializing = food, and ED tinymum REEAAALLLYYY wanted to continue restricting over the weekend.

Well, as luck would have it, MIL missed our final text saying we were attending, (plus conjugal mustache got into a fight with her yesterday over some bullshit) so she made other plans for the weekend.

hurray!? Not so fast. As a compromise, conjugal mustache said we'll go to the zoo instead. ~record scratch~

ok... I could probably continue restricting since zoo food is terrible and expensive, but there's going to be a reckoning in terms of "I don't feel like making dinner, lets hit up caloriebomb restaurant afterwards." Sadly, we cannot bring a picnic lunch to the zoo, they REALLY want you to eat their over priced crap food.

But, I think I'm over thinking it and just looking for (preparing for?) worst case scenarios.

In any case lake house is out, so I avoided forced mutual bingeing (aka eating with the in laws), zoo is in, which gives me wiggle room to maintain restriction. All in all, B+ weekend expected.

Lets hope I emerge on Monday either at or below current weight of 112ish lbs, cause next week is crunch time before I leave for my family reunion. ~fingers crossed~

---

[Other] So I found this today......
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 11:44:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4po6kk/so_i_found_this_today/
---
http://i.imgur.com/R4E9BBD.jpg

---

[Thinspo] sarah marie kardax thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 11:34:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4po4ff/sarah_marie_kardax_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/mzPFVaM.jpg

---

[Thinspo] Before and after thinspo dump!
/u/That_One_Thing11
Created: Fri Jun 24 11:12:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4po0ad/before_and_after_thinspo_dump/
---
There was a really great before-and-after album and it inspired me to share some of what I have saved on my phone.

[Enjoy!](https://imgur.com/a/ispO1)

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm forced to choose between my eating habits or having my own child
/u/CosmetologistToBe [5' 7" | 116 lbs | 18.17 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 11:05:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pnyz0/im_forced_to_choose_between_my_eating_habits_or/
---
I'm so upset. My husband and I are having a ceremony in a month and a half and we were going to start trying for our own child that night. I'm a step mom of two and while o love them, I want the bond one has with a child that is a part of them. I obviously was going to be a lot more mindful of my eating habits and actually eat when I got pregnant but now he's threatening me that if I don't start eating three times a day every day then he won't have a baby with me. I would do anything for my child, but doing something when I don't have one to protect and care for makes me feel like it's impossible. I want to cry. I can't overcome my urges without the motivation and love to do so but now I'm forced to figure it out. And it's all on my own. He's not offering me any support.

I feel like a failure of a mom and I'm not even trying to get pregnant yet. :(

---

[Goal] Trying something new again.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Fri Jun 24 10:37:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pntiy/trying_something_new_again/
---
I used to try fasting a lot and would make it to 3 or 4 days and then binge. I have decided to try restricting and eating one meal or a couple snacks a day. I will also try and burn these off at the gym when i can start going again. Maybe this effort will be better than just not eating. I hope that by restricting and maybe fasting a day or two a week I might be better off than just not eating then binging. I am trying to live like I want my future self to be life. I imagine future and smaller me just having small nibbles here and there and eating smaller portions. I feel like restricting is just practice and it may keep me in a better mood. I am shooting for 500 to 800 calories a day and trying to burn off as much as I can just walking until next week when I can go to the gym three or four days of the week.

Wish me luck.

---

[Thinspo] Sorry for the low quality, but does anyone else spend time in the morning to just feel all the bones? I will achieve my goals. I will, I must.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 24 10:37:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pntdy/sorry_for_the_low_quality_but_does_anyone_else/
---
https://imgur.com/a/LTSBz

---

[Thinspo] American Apparel Thinspo Mega Album <3
/u/m_inimal
Created: Fri Jun 24 10:23:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pnqq6/american_apparel_thinspo_mega_album_3/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ng8to

---

[Rant/Rave] 3.5oz of chocolate. (Mega rant)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 24 10:23:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pnqna/35oz_of_chocolate_mega_rant/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 24 10:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pnml8/daily_food_diary_june_24_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Thinspo] Flawless! Thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 09:45:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pnjak/flawless_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/7nJFGYX.png

---

[Thinspo] Tumblr transformation thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 09:41:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pnio1/tumblr_transformation_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/5NyQf

---

[Goal] I want to belly dance again
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 08:43:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pn80d/i_want_to_belly_dance_again/
---
I love belly dancing, I've been doing it all my life. I was never trained to do it but it's how I naturally move. Shakira in Hips Don't Lie? Yea, I can do that. But without a flat stomach I think belly dancing just looks gross. I see those bigger women in the classes/clubs trying to pull off the traditional jeweled skirt and it makes me want to puke. I want a flat stomach so that I can wear crop tops and high waist pants, I want a flat stomach so that I can wear a bikini, I want a flat stomach so that I don't have to wear spanx every time I wear a dress, and I want a flat stomach so that I can belly dance for fun and not hidden away in my shower because I don't even want to watch myself do it in the mirror.

---

[Other] I thought this was a very different movie from far away...
/u/vhenah [5'7 | 141.8 | 22.13 | -78.2 | MOO]
Created: Fri Jun 24 07:34:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pmw2i/i_thought_this_was_a_very_different_movie_from/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/fa5e7cea7c9f4ba38b0044a9a3e5d556?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=606b1ddc1336f7f2b1c9cb2e4097227e

---

Ec Stacks Vs modalert ?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 24 07:02:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pmqxn/ec_stacks_vs_modalert/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] I don't know who else to talk to.
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 06:18:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pmkr1/i_dont_know_who_else_to_talk_to/
---
I've been considering breaking up with my boyfriend for a while, but I have been scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's right to leave.

I'm also scarred that if I leave him I will gain a lot of weight because a lot of my motivation is being more attractive for him. We have been planning out lives together.

Please help. I don't know what to do.

*Edit: I don't know how to spell scared apparently.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! June 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 24 06:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pmird/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_june_24_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for June 24, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Help] Dishes you can bring to a party/ family event that are low-cal but will be enjoyed by others as well?
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 05:17:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pmd2g/dishes_you_can_bring_to_a_party_family_event_that/
---
July 4th coming up. For many in America, and especially my family, it means foreworks, lots of drinking, and lots of food.

Everyone does a pot luck for my familys events so i'm expected to bring a side dish of some sort. I plan on bringing my own veggie dog or burger, but I'd like to bring something else I feel safe eating that other people won't think is weird.

Aside from the obvious veggie tray, what kind of side dishes, snacks, or deserts do you prepare for people when you need to feed several people but don't want to look like that odd person who just set out carrots and mustard?

---

[Rant/Rave] Right. That's it. I'm NOT updating my flair again until it's said 88lbs for TWO WEEKS.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jun 24 02:47:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4plwd2/right_thats_it_im_not_updating_my_flair_again/
---
Arrghh. I really wish I hadn't gotten back into weighing myself. I gave in a couple of weeks ago after years of resisting the lure of the scale... this is so frustrating.

The main reason I stopped weighing myself is because seeing the number would cause random binges - THANKFULLY I havn't even come close to feeling like that again now, and I don't think I will either.. I'm comfortable with the thought of 'water weight', 'bloat', and 'fluctuations' enough to resist getting TOO upset and binging.

But that doesn't mean I'm not frustrated- I JUST want to know what I currently weigh?! How can I tell when you're jiggling around so much? How do I know my low weights are accurate or if the machine is taking a shit that day?!

Two days ago, that scale weighed me at 39.9kg (87.9lbs)
Today, it weighs me at 42.3kg (93.3lbs)

?????!!! I did have something really salty yesterday but I doubt it should have caused this much. So what is my real weight?!?! Argh FFS SCALE.

Well. I have decided. My real weight is 94lbs, based on today - with a little extra to be on the safe side. And I will NOT update my flair unless it shows me 40kg/88lbs for TWO STRAIGHT WEEKS. Not even 41kgs, or 40.5. No. 40kg/88lbs on the dot or UNDER for TWO WEEKS.. and then I will accept it.

God damnit :P

---

[Goal] First 62 hour fast completed. After thoughts.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 24 01:34:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4plolg/first_62_hour_fast_completed_after_thoughts/
---
Edit: so a 6k tempo run in the hot weather with not much in the tank is a perfect recipe for feeling like utter shit (even including a pre-run banana). But post-run peanuts never tasted so good.

---

I'm currently breaking my fast with my glorious breakfast of rye toast topped with a quarter of an avocado and a poached egg, with lemon pepper, sea salt, sesame seeds, and paprika, along with a small handful of raspberries.

The fast went surprisingly well. I would keep going except that I have to run today then I'm going out drinking with friends. But I don't plan on tonight being a binge fest. I'm sticking with my small but filling breakfast and no lunch after my run so I can safely eat dinner with friends.

This wasn't a pure 0 calorie water fast. I allowed things like hazelnut milk in my coffee, coconut water, a skim latte, and a ginger shot to settle my jittery stomach. But my biggest calorie day was 200, the other's were < 100.

I lost 2.7 kg/5.94 lbs from weighing in Tuesday morning (after my last meal Monday night) to Friday morning. I know a significant part of this is food/poop weight, along with some water weight (though I stayed hydrated the entire time). But it's encouraging being so close to my goal now. I might even be able to reach it by Monday!

Coffee and cigarettes are what made this go so smoothly, which may or may not help any of you. And since I'm only allowing myself to smoke on my non running days, I think I'm going to continue these fasts from now on on my off days. Then just eat at or near maintenance on days where I run. idk how long I'll do this but for now my goal is to have both my BMIs be under 19. Maybe I'll go lower? And the minute my pace drops below 5:00 min/km I'll stop smoking.

I actually found this to be easier mentally than restricting. It's easier to just say no to all food than to hm and hah over every choice. And I wasn't constantly thinking about when my next meal would be. Combined with the fact that it wasn't really that much more demanding physically, and I think I'm in love with intermittent fasting.

But if anyone has any questions or wants advice I'd be happy to help!

---

[Tip] Putting $10 per lb lost in a jar/savings to use towards new clothes/etc. for my UGW!
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: 2fat4me | GW: 121 | UGW: 108 | F22]
Created: Fri Jun 24 01:14:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4plm71/putting_10_per_lb_lost_in_a_jarsavings_to_use/
---
So recently, I came across this comment from /u/boochix that I found incredibly motivating)!

>I look at swimwear, all the amazing ones I will wear. I am going to book a holiday when I reach my goal weight, save up £10 a lb and boom! Portugal here I come!

I decided to get a jar and put in money for each lb lost :) Currently kinda on the poor side, but it's better than nothing! I might upgrade to an extra bank account on the side as I save up! I think I'm gonna buy some more clothing, indulge in my skincare obsession, get some amazing clip in extensions, travel a little, and ultimately maybe save for surgery. Plus, after reading the post by /u/Greenteapls that's currently on the front page, I'm going to strive to only pay like $40 per month on groceries to save further! So all in all, so much motivation going on rn!

Thx, /u/boochix + /u/Greenteapls <33

---

[Rant/Rave] Had a binge week, mom told me I've gained weight.
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Thu Jun 23 23:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pl6uf/had_a_binge_week_mom_told_me_ive_gained_weight/
---
So I had a binge week. It started around Father's day. Probably because I'm PMSing. I've gained around 4-5 pounds since then. I know, logically, I couldn't have gained that much in a week. But it bothers me a lot.

Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some food. She said, "hey, you look like you're gaining weight. You're starting to eat again." She didn't say it in a good way. In a way that shows she's happy that I'm not starving myself anymore. She said it in a way that suggested disappointment. I just said I'll have some water.

A few hours later, I asked her for some food again. She mocked me and said, "I thought you were just having some water?" then laughs. I get mad and say that I won't be eating then. I get up to purge and she says "what kind of pasta do you want to eat?" I got angry and yelled "nothing" and then she called me sensitive.

I'll show her. I want her to regret saying those things to me. She always brings me down. I want her to hate herself for it. I want her to see me, all skin and bones, and regret she ever called me fat. Regret ever judging me.

Just a week ago, I didn't eat for three days because I was sick and nauseous. That night, she warned me about having anorexia and bulimia (she didn't know the difference). So why is she doing this if she's so worried?

Maybe I'm just overreacting and emotional. Who knows.

---

sorry for my Fat body
/u/prettyemogirl14
Created: Thu Jun 23 22:57:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pl4m0/sorry_for_my_fat_body/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/6a7526b454744dd39355c23ac6ca3b72?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=92dbdde9ec5be934b6c4d66434f02c97

---

[Help] Anyone else breaking out?
/u/trapqueenB [5'4 | 134 lb | 23 | -30 lb | F/22]
Created: Thu Jun 23 22:00:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pkvz5/anyone_else_breaking_out/
---
I've been restricting this past year. This is also the first year I've been getting really bad cystic acne on my cheeks. Has anyone else also had this experience?? How did you fix it?

---

[Goal] Taking it week by week: the plan
/u/m_inimal
Created: Thu Jun 23 21:21:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pkprt/taking_it_week_by_week_the_plan/
---
Full disclosure: Im making this post mostly just to write down what this next week is going to look like, and to get it firmly in my head so that I'll actually do it :)

I have a week off regular work, but I'll be house-sitting during that time, giving me a lot of free time away from my nosy family to make safe foods, do yoga and go on here of course! Time won't be as much of an issue as it usually is, so I'll have no excuse to not exercise and record everything in my journal as well.

This week (starting tomorrow, Friday, and ending one week from then, experimentally) not a single calorie will pass my lips after 2 pm. Every calorie that goes into my body before that threshold will be recorded in my food diary.
I'm also going to tentatively figure out an average calorie count for my last full week of stats, and try to hit below that every day this week, in little ways. More veggies, more water, more tea. Less oil, less meat.
I'm also going to begin incorporating more light exercise into my daily routine, using the luxury of time off from work to figure out how to get it into my schedule. I've found that while losing weight, I simply cannot do heavy-duty exercise like hard running and lifting. But I can do 8 min abs and buns, yoga, and take walks to my heart's content.

Finally, I'm going to do the big scary thing that I haven't done since I got serious about losing all this weight: I'm going to see how much I actually weigh, right now, so that I can project how long it will take (knowing my average calorie intake) until I can start maintaining. Guys I am terrified of doing this, I'm terrified about the number, but I know that I have to find out or else I'll be endlessly stuck in this weight loss purgatory. I think either way, whether it's higher than I expect, or lower than I expect, it will motivate me. If it's higher, I'll buckle down extra hard, and if it's lower, I'll gleefully continue in the right direction.

WE CAN DO THIS!!!

---

[Thinspo] 110... still could be better 😱
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Thu Jun 23 21:20:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pkpms/110_still_could_be_better/
---
http://imgur.com/iltqCbh

---

[Other] 110... still could be better, but happy-ish
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 23 21:09:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pko1s/110_still_could_be_better_but_happyish/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/sQijH http://i.imgur.com/gvnYEO6.jpg

---

[Help] This is strange, but can somebody try to guess what's here? I really want to know
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 23 20:02:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pkdm8/this_is_strange_but_can_somebody_try_to_guess/
---
http://imgur.com/laoXkci

---

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Gap
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Thu Jun 23 20:00:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pkdee/thinspo_gap/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/985160370b394698bb2e7d7bccc19d01?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=6f1a4c6f46562ac62773f81ae9fd3798

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[Other] Hit a new low :(
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 113 |19.4 | -32 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 19:42:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pkalo/hit_a_new_low/
---
If there was any delusion that I was trying to convince myself I was just dieting and not dealing with an ED..well it's gone now.
Today I didn't eat anything until dinner, which is usual for me and not that hard, but today I was just SO hungry. I made stir fry veggies and tofu and was hoping my sister would eat most of it. When she didn't I ended up eating a lot more than I wanted because I was craving food so badly.
It probably wasn't that bad maybe 300 calories from the tofu mostly. But I couldn't help but think that they could be gone if I just purged, and I broke my no - purging restriction.
So here's the ridiculous and disgustingly low part: the tofu came up whole and I swear I was a centimeter away from eating it again. I accidentally caught it in my hand and the urge to eat was so strong that I went to bite and realized what I was doing...and was just horrified. Do I really have such little control?? Man ED is weird.

Sorry for Sharing something so...personal lol. It was just so weird and I can't get over that I almost did that, and obviously I can't just tell anyone haha.

---

[Thinspo] Back when i was pretty
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 23 19:31:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pk8xa/back_when_i_was_pretty/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/b441c0bb113f4bc6bb1f95753b34b4e0?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=aa2b90928755cfd82be4b8dcfe91a7f0

---

[Thinspo] another name for this type of thinspo?
/u/awfuljusttosee [5'5" | 62.4kg | 22.11 | -4.5kg | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 17:57:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pjuht/another_name_for_this_type_of_thinspo/
---
i'm looking for thinspo of bigger people, to sort of motivate me to not eat/binge.

back in the day, it used to be called 'fatspo' but looking through the tags on tumblr, that's now a body positive/fat acceptance tag. and 'anti-thinspo' is all people who are against thinspo.

anyone have any idea what to search for to find these kind of pictures? or where a plethora of them are? thanks!

---

[Thinspo] All the money I used to spend on food I now spend on clothes
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 17:34:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pjqso/all_the_money_i_used_to_spend_on_food_i_now_spend/
---
All the money I was spending on groceries, alcohol, eating out, popcorn at the movies...well it definitely adds up. I got a killer wardrobe now, rag&bone jeans, designer boots, stunning leather jacket, nice bags, I can afford nice things! And if that's not enough motivation for you to not eat them cookies , I don't know what is!

(Ok well maybeeee there's better ways to use your money but shhhh shopping is my therapy)

But point is...I spend 40 dollars on groceries a month! Get skinny, save money.

---

[Tip] Vegetables are your best friend now
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 17:17:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pjo8b/vegetables_are_your_best_friend_now/
---
http://imgur.com/jpx6Mnf

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[Goal] Success!
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 17:06:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pjmfr/success/
---
Small success story for you guys.

I'm a terrible binger and today my niece's boyfriend brought me a giant red velvet cake roll and a box of twinkies for my husband. Not even something I like but something I could pick at all night until I ate all 6 servings of 350 calories each.

I got so close to doing it, but instead I dropped the food off at my mil's and now I'm rewarding myself with some watermelon instead :)

If I can do it you can do it.

---

[Other] Something 'funny' happened at the Tommy Hilfiger store today...
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 16:49:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pjjq3/something_funny_happened_at_the_tommy_hilfiger/
---
So I went shopping with my mom and sister today, I didn't bother to browse much because they don't have anything that fits me (yay?) I was wearing black skinnies, heeled ankle boots (almost 90% of the time I wear this combo because my legs look thinner...lol), and a fitted long sleeve shirt.

Here I am, leaning against a table, pissed my mom was taking so long in the fitting room and some obtuse lady behind me starts stroking my sleeve. She jumps when I move away. And my sister who saw everything tells me 'ha ha she thought you were a mannequin.' I laughed too and rolled my eyes but secretly, I never felt happier.

I spent the rest of the outlet shopping trip not looking at clothes but comparing my body to the mannequins and being pleased if my arm was thinner.

tl;dr: I'm comparing myself to mannequins now...sigh.

---

[Other] Did not binge last night
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Thu Jun 23 16:42:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pjig5/did_not_binge_last_night/
---
I was thinking long and hard about Burger King veggie burgers; like an all day conversation about the addictiveness of fast food and how hard it is to stop eating once you start along with the futile reasons my brain could come up with about why I "deserved" to eat it. Eventually I got off work and set out cleaning my house. I had smoked some weed and got that urge. You know the one. You block out all other thoughts grab your keys and march out the door with cash in hand to pay someone to make you fat. I had the keys. I was almost to the door; when I remembered: Shirataki Noodles in the fridge.


My brain still argued that it didn't make a difference if I ate those or went and got fast food (45 calories vs 500 calories?? C'mon brain, are you even trying?) I worried I might still go out and eat fast food even after eating the noodles. But with only 45 calories on the line and the hope of not spending money and acquiring fat I went for the noodles. I didn't end up getting fast food.



GROSS FACT:
The noodles didn't get digested at all. Had to examine to make sure there were not in fact worms in the toilet. Never felt more amazed at something so disgusting.

---

[Rant/Rave] Shopping at an Asian supermarket sucks.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 23 14:11:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pisgw/shopping_at_an_asian_supermarket_sucks/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Holy fart I just had a bad binge
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 14:07:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4piruj/holy_fart_i_just_had_a_bad_binge/
---
I've been doing keto for almost a month and it's been helping me have more healthy thoughts about food and eating. But a minute ago I threw it away by eating two pieces of cake, a donut, and two cookies.

Fart fart fart. Also tonight I'm having dinner with my boyfriend and his friends from New York, one of which is a French model. I literally wish I was making this up.

To be honest, I'm a little freaked out by what I just ate, but I'm excited to get back on the keto wagon. I recommend it to anyone who doesn't want to obsessively think about food all the time. I eat to satiety and I've maintain 112 the whole time.

I just really hope I don't compare myself too much to the French girl and clam up/become socially awkward. I'm pretty insecure in situations like that

---

[Rant/Rave] Rant: My boyfriends mom basically called me fat
/u/pandamadnesssss
Created: Thu Jun 23 13:55:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pipij/rant_my_boyfriends_mom_basically_called_me_fat/
---
We were all having dinner(me, my boyfriend, his mom his dad, and his brother and his girlfriend). I have this really weird thing where I feel insanely insecure and competitive with his brothers girlfriend because I want his family to like me more and think I'm better prettier smarter etc. after dinner yesterday we all went for a walk and his brothers girlfriend, let's call her Jen, went to get a sweater because she was cold. My boyfriends mom then said "I'm not surprised you're always cold, you have no fat on you at all you're so slim" and then I was talking to my boyfriend about how I should go get a sweater too and before he could even reply, his mom goes "you'll be fine, you're not like Jen."

It was like being stabbed but hey, now I'm determined to show her who the better skinnier and prettier girlfriend is :) thanks for the motivation!!

---

[Discussion] Anyone else with a stick thin, but NOT ED friend??
/u/RedPanda247 [5'4 | CW 59.6 kg 131.4 lbs | 22.4 :( | -8kg | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 13:50:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pioko/anyone_else_with_a_stick_thin_but_not_ed_friend/
---
I have a really good friend, started like study buddies, but now were hanging a lot. Anyways, she is so goddamn thin.
Like, her frame is tiny, and she is also short (like 156 cm) so its reasonable. Weighting 46 kg now :////

It makes me feel sooo sad all the time, like knowing how hard im trying and I am still huge, and she can eat and be happy and cheerful, and waive the fact that she is so thin in front of my face (like, OMG im eating so much and still losing weigh, or talking about how there is nothing left of her, and the next second asking if she should lose some more for her upcoming wedding. I CAN SEE HOW FAKE YOUR QUESTION WAS WHY DO YOU EVEN ASK IT)

Anyways, this is turning into a rant.

Wanted to ask your opinions and how you deal with such situations

---

[Other] I'm gonna have weight loss surgery. (UPDATE)
/u/Kattjavel [5'7| HW: 211 | LW: 116 | CW: in progress | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 13:23:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pijg0/im_gonna_have_weight_loss_surgery_update/
---
Hey everyone again!
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nahoh/im_gonna_have_weight_loss_surgery/
I posted a while ago that I was getting gastric sleeve surgery. I'm 4 days post op now and want to tell you how it's going for me.

I was told to drop some weight before my surgery so I started 800 cal diet prior to the surgery. I went from 211 lbs to 206 lbs in a week. Now I can only eat max 300 calories a day so I dropped weight so fast since the surgery. I weighed 201 lbs this morning, which shocked me a lot since I never lost weight this fast before.

My stomach is so swollen and I have some small incisions on my tummy which I believe they'll disappear in couple of months. If they don't i'll just cover them with some tattoo. I'll be also giving myself blood thinning shots for 10 days to prevent blood clots.

I feel full so fast and easily, so I have to take it easy when I drink something. For example a 100 ml liquid takes 20 mins for me to consume. For the next 10 days I have to consume only liquids, then pureed foods for 3 weeks and then proper solid food.

So far it feels nice not to feel hunger that much but I also noticed that my appetite for food is the same in my brain. I wish I could eat it but then I remember it wouldn't be possible for me to fit that much food in my small stomach. I think I'll have to train myself a lot in the future. My boyfriend ate mc donalds in front of me, I just wanted to eat it so much but I wasn't even hungry. I hope this feeling disappears. I have a friend who also got this surgery, she is 4 months post op and she told me when she has to eat from Mc donalds, she buys 4 nuggets and can barely finish 3 of them. It's so nice to hear that, hehe :) Although I don't have plants to eat shitty foods, but hey sometimes it's good to curb your cravings with 3 nuggets.

Now I feel fine except a bloated and swollen stomach. I don't have pain or anything like that, which is great.

Stay safe, feel free to ask any questions!

---

[Thinspo] My new swimsuit, bought it a tad smaller for motivation !
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Jun 23 13:15:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pihxy/my_new_swimsuit_bought_it_a_tad_smaller_for/
---
http://i.imgur.com/1j8ZI3O.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] my asshole boss the binge stopper
/u/sunnymcsunbuns
Created: Thu Jun 23 13:04:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pifto/rantrave_my_asshole_boss_the_binge_stopper/
---
I'm on the abc diet, day 18. Usually on days with these kinds of limits, I'll eat some veg and a bag of popcorn, but today has been hell (I do sysadmin work. Everything has been crashing.)

I was getting ready to binge on a second bag of popcorn (putting me over!! Eugh!) but then my boss walked by and said "BAG NUMBER TWO IN ONE HOUR???!??"

I promptly threw it out. Thanks asshole!

---

[Help] EC Stack Plans - Does this look right?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 12:30:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pi9ks/ec_stack_plans_does_this_look_right/
---
I know this gets posted about a lot but I finally got my Primatene and Caffeine pills and am ready to start once I find my pill splitter (caffeine pills are 200mg and I know you're supposed to start with 100mg) so I wanted to run my plans past the experts here to see if anything needs to be changed before I start. Also, has anyone had success using EC stacks during the week but not on weekends?

Friday 6/24 *If I cannot find my pill splitter tonight I will be holding off and starting on Monday*

* 8am ~ 1 Primatene + 100mg Caffeine

Saturday 6/25 ~ Nothing

Sunday 6/26 ~ Nothing

Monday 6/27

* 8 am ~ 1 Primatene + 100mg Caffeine

Tuesday 6/28 - Wednesday 6/29

* 8am ~ 1 Primatene + 100mg Caffeine

* 12pm ~ 1 Primatene + 100mg Caffeine

* 4pm ~ 1 Primatene + 100mg Caffeine

Thursday 6/30 - Friday 7/1

* 8am ~ 2 Primatene + 200mg Caffeine

* 12pm ~ 1 Primatene + 100mg Caffeine

* 4pm ~ 1 Primatene + 100mg Caffeine

Saturday 7/2 ~ Nothing

Sunday 7/3 ~ Nothing

Monday 7/4 ~ Nothing *Will probably be at a BBQ as a vegetarian so it shouldn't be too hard to restrict*

Tuesday 7/5 - Friday 7/8

* 8am ~ 2 Primatene + 200mg Caffeine

* 12pm ~ 2 Primatene + 200mg Caffeine

* 4pm ~ 1 Primatene + 100 mg Caffeine

Saturday 7/9 ~ Nothing

Sunday 7/10 ~ Nothing

Monday 7/11 - TBD ~ **Start normal dosage**

* 8am ~ 2 Primatene + 200mg Caffeine


Does this look like a safe way to start? Am I screwing myself over by wanting to not take them on weekends? Is there anything I'm missing?

---

[Help] GAINED after fasting?? whatduFak
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Jun 23 12:29:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pi9b7/gained_after_fasting_whatdufak/
---
why ever , how ?!! so many questions running through my head, ive been feeling soso bloated these days, thought a nice fast may help NOPE. .4 gain? i drank plenty of water.... I took some diruex today for first time ever, pretty desperate. Anyone had this happen before? I have a pool party saturday and cant stand this bloat belly baby :'(

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling proud of my progress! Still have a long ways to go, but my tummy feels tight :D
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 12:18:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pi6z0/feeling_proud_of_my_progress_still_have_a_long/
---
http://imgur.com/a/W711H

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[Rant/Rave] Found out my partners started copying me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 23 12:10:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pi5io/found_out_my_partners_started_copying_me/
---
[removed]

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[Tip] [Tip] Cure constipation almost without fail: some home remedies for constipation.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 11:24:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4phwii/tip_cure_constipation_almost_without_fail_some/
---
http://i.imgur.com/cPFql97.png

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[Help] low blood pressure: how to stand up without fainting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 23 11:05:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4phsne/low_blood_pressure_how_to_stand_up_without/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 23 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4phge4/daily_food_diary_june_23_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Goal] Hit my goal weight!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 09:06:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ph6e7/hit_my_goal_weight/
---
5 more lbs and that will be my next GW, possibly even my UGW!


Speaking of which, how do you guys determine your UGW? BMI of less than 20?


Can't say how stoked I am, I wanted to hug myself through the mirror today. I feel so empowered and sexy! But also fucking empty. This is a very strange rollercoaster I'm on.

---

[Help] What's your fastest weight loss record? Any tips?
/u/abond4 [5'7.5 | 132.6 | 20.3 | -47.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 07:28:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pgq8q/whats_your_fastest_weight_loss_record_any_tips/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support June 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 23 06:02:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pgdgl/weekly_emotional_support_june_23_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Help] EC Stacks for beginners
/u/knwitk222
Created: Thu Jun 23 05:43:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pgaza/ec_stacks_for_beginners/
---
I was wondering is Bronkaid an all in one ( ephedrine and caffeine) or do I need to take a caffeine pill with Bronkaid?

---

[Intro] Freshman 500 and Intro
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 23 05:38:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pgaen/freshman_500_and_intro/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Where to go from here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 23 04:36:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pg374/where_to_go_from_here/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Keeping intake low, not losing weight?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 04:14:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pg0q5/keeping_intake_low_not_losing_weight/
---
I went from losing 6 lbs in a week to staying at 115 lbs for almost 2 weeks... I have been restricting to less than 300 but had two cheat days a week where I went up to 1000 or less. Why am I not losing weight?

I was exercising before and haven't had the time to do it now but didn't think it would make a difference? Help!

Possibly TMI also: can't remember the last time I pooped. Could this be a problem even if I have almost no intake each day?

---

[Discussion] How much of the weight lost during a fast is real?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 03:58:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pfywv/how_much_of_the_weight_lost_during_a_fast_is_real/
---
So I'm 40 hours into a 60 hour fast and I've already lost 1.9 kg (4.18 lbs). I can't have possible burnt 14,830 calories since Monday night (4.18*3500 + 210 from yesterday) so what gives? I've been keeping myself hydrated (my pee is always clear or pale yellow, tmi), but do you still retain water if you're hydrated?

Bonus: only 1.2 kg/2.64 lbs until I reach my goal weight (56.8 so both my BMIs are below 19).

---

[Help] how to get out of a binge cycle?!
/u/tartansheep [5'10.5 | 146lb|20.3 | -10lb| F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 02:47:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pfrpv/how_to_get_out_of_a_binge_cycle/
---
hello everyone

last month I lost about 10lb in two weeks and then came home from uni and ate normally for a few days and then started binging.

For some reason, if I fail to weigh myself multiple times a day (which normally I do), I end up binging. Perhaps because of the lack of accountability. Anyway, I need !!! to get down to 120lb before September. That's 35lb in 70 days - about half a pound a day - or ten weeks. On average, with decent restriction to under 800 calories a day, I should lose roughly a pound a day for about ten days, and then 3lb a week or so.

No more fucking excuses, oh my god. oh my god. My lowest weight is 108lb but I was 5'8 then. This time I want to get under 100lb. Wish me luck! My parents are nosy but I think they'd support me trying to lose weight. They think I'm fat, and they always tell me I'm fat. I am fat. Oh my god :(

---

[Intro] intro post!
/u/chaconnes [5'3" | :( | GW: 105lb | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 01:20:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pfiiw/intro_post/
---
hi! i've been a long-time lurker in this sub - thanks so much for all the discussion and inspiration you guys have provided :)

up until i started college last fall, i'd never been overweight in my life. i was on the heavier side of the "normal" spectrum, but near the end of junior year, my mom made a couple disparaging comments about my weight. i went on a super restrictive diet, which set off a restrict/binge cycle. i was still basically maintaining until i entered college, when the stress + lack of parental oversight sent my weight shooting up, and now, after my freshman year, im squarely at the lower fringes of the obsese range.

honestly, i'm completely fucking mortified. i've always considered myself a pretty disciplined person - outside of my weight struggles, i'm doing okay. i'm currently interning at a really big tech company in the bay and there's amazing food everywhere and i just want to enjoy my summer + the new city... but i've finally decided that my health is more important than that. there's always ways that i can enjoy myself that doesn't involve eating.

my goal is to hit my pre-college weight by the end of the internship! for now, im just going to not eat unless it's a social meal where it would look weird when im not eating. for the other meals i can easily get some tea to drink, and go find some alcove to relax in so my cubemates don't know i'm skipping a meal. and im going to buy myself some adidas superstars when i hit this first milestone!!

anyway, im so excited to finally post here :) really looking forward to working toward this goal and seeing more information and inspiration from all of you!! xoxo, vi

---

[Help] How to stop drunk b/p??
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 23 00:45:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pfego/how_to_stop_drunk_bp/
---
Ughhh. I planned my whole day and including alcohol I would have had negative calories but once we got home from drinking, of course my housemate decides she wants us all to snack. She made a 1/2 serving of pancake with syrup so I tried to stay healthy and only have 3 cups popcorn and 1tbsp each of salsa and Greek yogurt with 120 calories of chips for a total of 250 but of course I ended up overeating on chips, 2 cheese sticks, and 100 calorie bread. I know it wasn't too bad of a binge but I immediately purged but it was so dry and even with flushing I felt like I didn't get everything out. How do I stop drunk binging and then purging??

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[Help] Tips on keeping it intake low / restricting?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 23:42:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pf747/tips_on_keeping_it_intake_low_restricting/
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[removed]

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Trying to start
/u/L_demirovic
Created: Wed Jun 22 23:34:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pf627/trying_to_start/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] this went from 'help, chest pain' to a full-on rant
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Wed Jun 22 22:35:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4peyx2/this_went_from_help_chest_pain_to_a_fullon_rant/
---
I've dug myself pretty deep into this hole.
I've struggled with an eating disorder for about nine years or so; I was first hospitalized at 15 and then at least once a year previously. I've never been able to maintain recovery/weight restoration for longer than eight months or so.

I started slipping up again come late winter; I was drinking a lot, although maintaining my set point/healthy weight (approx. 132-135, depending). Started again this time with cutting out carbs the days I drank, because alcohol is a carb, right? Yeah, it's *totally* a carb, this counts as a starch group; it's *fine*. Drank daily for the next three months and continued on with life, because everything was just peachy.

My outpatient treatment team took issue with it. I fought them on it, and started engaging in restricting/purging more actively, just because I could. It was more of a 'screw you, this is nothing; it's been so much worse'.
Fast forward to now: not even below 18 yet for this go round, and I've already lost my period. I'm starting to grow languo. Hypoglycemia happens so much more quickly after purging. I'm starting to doubt my heart's ability to handle ephedrine now, because I abused it so much in the past. Is my body just done giving a shit, because it knows what's coming?

My nutritionist wants me in an IOP/PHP, but the only one in my area is reluctant to take me for the nth time. She settled for insisting on blood labs, a DEXA scan to check on the osteopenia, and an EKG.

I'm so scared. I know they'll probably run some kind of drug test too, just in case, and I know I'm in for it (I'm gonna fail that like five different ways, oh man; let's not even get into me and the drugs).
What pisses me off the most? Good god, it's *not even that bad* compared to the last two years.

**TL;DR: info/personal experiences regarding chest pain/purging/EC stacks and/or blood labs specific to EDs would be great**

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[Other] This is gonna be one of Those posts.......
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Wed Jun 22 22:23:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pexgz/this_is_gonna_be_one_of_those_posts/
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....where a drunk Ruby shares her love with all of you!

I so thoroughly love everyone on this sub so much. You are all wonderful individuals and I have no idea where I would be without you guys. You've made me feel so accepted in a world that sees me as a freak. And I couldn't be more grateful.

Thank you all. 💕

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i felt fat today followed by a feeling of accomplishment
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 22 21:45:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4peslp/i_felt_fat_today_followed_by_a_feeling_of/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] My husband just asked me about this...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 22 21:16:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4peodq/my_husband_just_asked_me_about_this/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] So Stoked for The Future
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Wed Jun 22 21:00:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pem1w/so_stoked_for_the_future/
---
So, I have officially reached my first goal weight (and will be rewarding myself with a new makeup palette when I get paid. :) ) and out of curiosity I went on Weigh What When, and if I stick to my current restriction (900/day with one big-ass cheat day a month) I should reach my UGW by October/November. But that's not why I'm excited.

I also looked into maintenance for when I get there, and the most logical plan for me that I can figure out is eating 1400 cals/day with one cheat day of 2500 per week. (I'd actually still be losing, technically, but like a pound over the course of like 6 months.) These numbers seem absurd to me and I am so excited to have all those extra calories to spend on baking and ice cream and maybe going out to dinner once in a while.

I am on a pilgrimage, and maintenance at UGW is the promiseland. Godspeed. :D


this is also my introductory post, i guess, because my one about shrimp the other day was rather short. Hi. :)

---

[Rant/Rave] Why did I binge? No idea.
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Wed Jun 22 18:31:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdz71/why_did_i_binge_no_idea/
---
Why why *why*. THERE WAS NO POINT, NO CAUSE, NO EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN.

God**damnit**.

---

[Rant/Rave] Thanks for the unintentional motivation mom...
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 17:40:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdqw6/thanks_for_the_unintentional_motivation_mom/
---
So earlier today my mom was running around the house all neurotic talking about how messy it was and how much crap we have and she started making piles of clothes from her closet to donate. I was playing piano downstairs but she called down and asked me to try on some of the things she was giving away. most of it was a bit big on me which was encouraging because I've always thought my mom has a nice figure. But there was this one retro belt from the 70's that was just so tiny! I could wear it around my waist with a dress or a long shirt, but there was no way that thing was fitting around my wide hips. My mom knocks on the door to ask how it fits and I tell her that it would be cute with a dress or something but probably wouldn't fit around my hips, and she brags "That used to fit me! I guess I am almost 60..." Come on mom... You know I had an eating disorder in the past (she doesn't know I'm slipping back into it now) Why would you say something like that to me to make me feel like I should be able to fit this belt around my hips since you used to be able to. I guess I should thank her for the encouragement, it is a cute belt after all. Maybe this can be my goal belt.

---

[Rant/Rave] Trying to resist temptation right now
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 17:34:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdpu7/trying_to_resist_temptation_right_now/
---
I've been eating at 575 calories for the past four days (actually, I clocked in a bit lower today at 567). I really want to make it a whole week at 575.

But I've got a granola bar staring at me in the face right now. My parents bought chips when they went grocery shopping. I know there's ice cream in the fridge. I know if I eat this granola bar, I'll say "screw it" and eat every thing else in the fucking house like a fat pig loose in a supermarket.

I don't even know why I feel the urge to binge. Eating doesn't bring me any sort of joy. It's so compulsive and irrational, it pisses me off. I wish I could talk to someone about this. But my friends would be pissed and worried that I'm relapsing. And I haven't even talked to the guy I'm seeing about my restriction.

It's helping to type this up, though. And I found a different sort of motivation by going on losertown.com and seeing how much I'd weigh in a couple weeks if I continued eating at 575 every day. Also! My work gives me the best reverse thinspo! I'm a cashier at McDonald's, so you can probably tell where I'm going with this. There was this lady in today who had a kid. Obese as fuck, she was. And the baby wasn't far off, either :c Anyway, for dinner she fed the kid an entire thing of medium fries!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A CHILD???? I wanted to smack her, I swear.

But, holy fuck, almost everyone who comes into McDonald's is either overweight or obese. In a day, maybe four or five of the people that come in aren't fat as fuck. This is out of literally hundreds of customers. My god, it's insane. Also LOL, it amuses me to see fat people get no salt fries (and it's usually a large, too) or diet coke, as if that cancels out the double big mac or quarter pounder.

Okay, I'm feeling a bit better. Don't feel that big of an urge to binge now. I'll keep sipping on water and maybe chew some gum. Hopefully the urge goes away altogether.

---

[Tip] 8oz Diet Cran-Grape (Ocean Spray) + 24oz water = 5cal of delicious hydration.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 17:25:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdod3/8oz_diet_crangrape_ocean_spray_24oz_water_5cal_of/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Zchcnll.jpg

---

[Intro] Nice to officially (virtually) meet you all!
/u/thinismygame [5'6" | 148 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 17:13:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdmgt/nice_to_officially_virtually_meet_you_all/
---
Hi, I've been lurking here for a couple of months and decided to make a separate account specifically for this sub (like lots of you do).

A little about my ED/history: I was officially diagnosed with bulimia nervosa last November. My LW was 125 and after a couple of months of trying to recover and 'eat normally' I've ballooned up to 148. Too bad with ED brain, eating normally just = lots of binges. Lame. So lame. Not only do I feel emotionally crappy, but physically I'm exhausted and feel TERRIBLE from eating so much. If I'm going to feel terrible from eating, I'd rather it be from not eating enough. Hahaha.

Anyway, I'm really glad this sub exists to talk to/use as motivation so I can get back on track. My good ol' days in the past consisted of getting about 17k steps daily, lifting 3 days a week and eating total 600 kcals. I am so ready to get my shit together again.

So, that's me! Thanks in advance for all of your support <3

---

[Intro] Intro and about to binge :(
/u/myedsup [5'6.5"| CW: 144 | GW: 114 | 22.9 | -12lbs| F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 16:48:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdiap/intro_and_about_to_binge/
---
Hello, I have been lurking on this sub for a while and have finally gotten up the courage to post. You all have built a wonderful community and I am glad I found it.

Like many of you have experienced, I am in the middle of a horrible restricting and binging cycle. I did really good for almost a week (which is way longer than I usually can manage) and have been binging the last two days. I can't help the thinking that I fucked up so I might as well keep going and even though I know that it's not logical to keep binging more, I just ordered a huge, cheese pizza and soda to mix with rum.

I'm not sure exactly what I am hoping to achieve by posting but I know you all understand the cycle. And I don't know, I guess I am hoping by posting I can stop myself.

I am so pissed at myself. My husband is coming in less than two weeks and I am just as big as I was when I last saw him. Fuck :(

Thanks for reading.

---

[Discussion] Do you ever want to recover for a split second?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 22 16:44:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdhq0/do_you_ever_want_to_recover_for_a_split_second/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] The rules say we can't ask for fasting buddies, but I want someone who understands more about it than someone over at r/fasting. What to do?
/u/AllHailTheGremlins [5'7" | 144 lbs | 22.48 | F 21yo]
Created: Wed Jun 22 16:42:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdhde/the_rules_say_we_cant_ask_for_fasting_buddies_but/
---
I've been here on and off for awhile and I came on today to see if there was someone who wanted to fast with me, but upon reviewing the rules this isn't allowed. Is there another sub I can go to in order to find a fasting buddy? I feel like /r/fasting sometimes doesn't understand enough about what we go through since a lot of them fast for different reasons and part of what I was looking for in a fasting buddy was being about to talk about EDs and my/their experiences.

---

[Rant/Rave] Yasss maintaining
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Wed Jun 22 16:31:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdfku/yasss_maintaining/
---
So, in just about a week I go on vacation on a cruise that my boyfriend's family is paying for me. Thank the heavens, bless the stars. Ha But I've never been on anything like this, like a vacation and I've been trying REALLY HARD to cut back my intake of food and working out and some times failing and just trying really hard though to get my shit together and I don't think it's just a lucky day, but my hard work has been paying off and I'm 110 pounds. I've been fluctuating for awhile now, but for the first time I can actually SEE the difference in my body. I look skinnier. Holy shit guys. I LOOK SKINNY. like I LOOK 110. I'm so proud of myself. I was shopping today with my bf's mom and trying on clothes and for once looking at myself in the mirror and I'm satisfied. This is the best I've looked since high school. The slimmest I've been! And with muscle definition! HOLY FUCK GUYS. Like I'm literally just so excited though.

Sorry if this comes off obnoxious, but I'm just so proud of my progress.

Pros and cons though...

Cons... now that I see my cheeks looking more hallow and my bones sticking out under my skin... I want to see more. Sigh.

I wish all of you the most love though.

Unfortunate motivation. I guess the obsessing doesn't stop though, huh?

---

[Help] Is there software that has virtual calipers to measure data from pictures?
/u/throwaway912837198 [5'8" | 117 | 17.8 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 16:24:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pdegv/is_there_software_that_has_virtual_calipers_to/
---
I was chatting with this girl I met online. We were talking about Ana and how she was a nutrition major who used software at a clinic that helps her track her weight loss.

We talked a bit, she wanted to help me, and then asked me to send her nudes pics for a metabolic analysis with the software. It seemed kinda sketchy so I chickened out. Was this legit?

edit: thanks everybody! I stopped talking to this person.

---

[Other] So even though I've been doing shit with my diet lately, I'm feeling pretty hawt!
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 15:57:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pd9so/so_even_though_ive_been_doing_shit_with_my_diet/
---
I got new hair! I went blonde! And it's got green and purple and bright yellow from the vivids collection in it. In one more session I'll be able to go platinum instead of ashy honey or whatever. The yellow and purple hair dye make it seem darker (: but yall I am feeling so sexy! I'm having a drink even though I'm at 1096 calories. Probably a few cause yall know me lol. But still! I will do so much better tmrw. Especially with my newfound hair confidence! Haha I love yall. Check out the 'do (: https://imgur.com/a/1Bila

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so pissed off right now
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Jun 22 15:32:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pd5kn/im_so_pissed_off_right_now/
---
So I had to eat dinner with friends. And I ordered something healthy and nice and was looking forward to eat. I also ordered a diet coke.

When they delivered all diet cokes were swapped with cokes. Eh, what? The other people were OK with it and foolish me drank it instead of just water.

Sigh, 130 cals. That were two small apples, 2 1/2 oreo, 5 cucumbers.

Ugh.

---

[Thinspo] Ohmygosh.
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: 2fat4me | GW: 121 | UGW: 108 | F22]
Created: Wed Jun 22 15:26:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pd4gn/ohmygosh/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/d6qNx

---

[Goal] Starting a 14-day water fast!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 22 14:26:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pcu21/starting_a_14day_water_fast/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] The most motivational anti-binge video I've found. :D
/u/slytherlin [5'5" | CW: 130 | GW:110 | NB]
Created: Wed Jun 22 14:09:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pcr03/the_most_motivational_antibinge_video_ive_found_d/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZXI_DEkv9M

---

[Thinspo] Real life thinspo is so much more effective for me
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Wed Jun 22 13:46:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pcmqa/real_life_thinspo_is_so_much_more_effective_for_me/
---
I'm on the train when this beautiful, dainty girl steps on and sits across from me. She had long dark wavy hair with porcelain skin. Everything about her was effortlessly feminine from her modest cardigan and dress to her posture. She had such a tiny frame, tiny arms, lovely collar bones, naturally high cheekbones... seeing her made any hunger pains go away. I made up a story for her since she was clutching a ticket in her hands while staring into the distance. I thought she'd get off at the theatre district to see a ballet while reflecting on what could have been if she had only been born with better feet. I want someone to one day look at me like a delicate porcelain doll and feel the same way I did when I saw her.

---

Reminder: but it's easier if you don't
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 22 11:39:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pbxzi/reminder_but_its_easier_if_you_dont/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/4a20d7a780fb400c98770006bd4234b4?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=01d375386957f74a5f3842e9cbf6e59d

---

[Goal] Oh you know, just in bed browsing Reddit when I peek at my legs and couldn't be happier c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 22 11:33:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pbwtd/oh_you_know_just_in_bed_browsing_reddit_when_i/
---
https://imgur.com/a/ao5PD

---

[Intro] So glad to have found you.
/u/lithelife [5'4''| CM: 35-27-39| GM: 33-23-36 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 11:28:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pbvrk/so_glad_to_have_found_you/
---
Hi--

I just wanted to let you guys know how unbelievably grateful I am to have found you. I was diagnosed with depression some three years ago and the antidepressant my psych put me on (Wellbutrin) was awesome in terms of mood improvement and weight loss. For the first time ever, I felt like I didn't HAVE to focus so much energy on what I ate -- like it was a thing I did for comfort, rather than necessity. I ate upwards of 2000 calories a day of really healthy, vegan food (because that's what agreed with me most) and was still losing weight. (Looking back now: I don't know how I was ever comfortable eating that much. The thought disgusts me.) For a little while, it was great. But then it turned out the med made me all brain-foggy and I started failing out of my uni, and I had to stop taking it.

So I did. And now I'm on something else. And it's not nearly as good for my mood, and I think my metabolism has gone back to pre-Wellbutrin days, and I gained some weight. So I'm back to tracking, properly, and I'm losing weight again, and feeling in control again, and honestly, reading everyone's posts here is just so helpful and you're all so lovely and ... well, I'm not doing a great job of expressing myself, but it's just really nice to find a community of people who understand. I still have a long way to go but ... thanks, guys, for being there. You're all wonderful.

---

[Rant/Rave] When ED strips you of flexibility, sanity, normalcy.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 10:41:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pbmb0/when_ed_strips_you_of_flexibility_sanity_normalcy/
---
I feel good. I'm in control. I'm staying within my limits, and I'm exercising everyday. This was the plan for the next two weeks. control. calm. determined.

And then I got an email from my work bestie; apparently our building is throwing a summer party, with music, raffles, caricatures, and a build your own ice cream sundae station. *mmmmmhm.*

She wants us to go together and get a caricature portrait done with the unspoken assumption of ice cream sundaes included.

Honestly if it was just me, I'd avoid the party, stay in my office, stick to my diet and remain in control.

But this is my friend, wanting to do a normal, friendly, social activity together.

And I'm so torn up over it; whatever compromises there are, won't work. Go together and get the portrait done, but avoid the sundae station with a litany of lame ass excuses? Cause that's not weird and suspicious as fuck. Don't go, stay in my office, and let my friend down? That's kinda shitty, and very selfish ED behavior. Go, get the portrait done, have a sundae and feel regret for the next 24 hours? The most honest and realistic outcome.

Sure I could *try* to account for the cals in a sundae, but that's such wasted effort and needless anxiety. There's no way I can accurately count the cals in an ice cream sundae station without a food scale and obsessively searching through MFP on my phone. Another weird ass red flag behavior.

Another option is go, have sundae, but skip lunch. I'm kind of leaning towards this? However the party is after lunch so by the time we head to the party I'll hungry and highly susceptible to a sundae station binge.

fuck fuck fuck. For all the control ED gives me, I HATE that it makes me so rigid and panicked over really stupid shit. How fucking dumb is it that I'm weighing out all these scenarios regarding a god damn sundae station.

ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A LIGHT HEARTED PARTY WITH TREATS FOR FUCKS SAKE.

And I'm sitting here not doing my work, just scheming, concocting, debating, excusing, and more or less wasting my god damn time on what will ultimately be a negligible issue (<-rare moment of sanity).

All because a fucking ED has taken over all rationality because I'm a stupid fuck who refuses to use 'healthy coping skills' for life shit.

Now I'm just angry; angry that my plan has been thrown off track, angry that I care and have such a plan, angry that I'm so worked up over normal shit, angry that I can't let this be a freebie because I used that freebie last week on god damn birthday cupcakes, angry because I realize I'm going to go, I'm going to have a sundae, and I'm going lose my sense of control until I start losing again-fuck fuck fuck.

---

[Discussion] Feeling ashamed of weight loss
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 55kg | 18.43 | -33kg | NB/M]
Created: Wed Jun 22 10:14:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pbh3p/feeling_ashamed_of_weight_loss/
---
I'm guessing that this isn't an uncommon feeling but I just wanted to see what everyone else had to say.

Do you ever feel ashamed of how much you've lost because it feels bad to acknowledge that you were once such a high weight? I guess it's relative depending on your highest weight but I definitely feel shitty that I ever got there in the first place. I don't really feel proud of losing 25kg because I shouldn't have had 25kg to lose, and even now I'm still pudgy and uncomfortable.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 22 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pbems/daily_food_diary_june_22_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Any excessive planners out here?
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 09:47:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pbbru/any_excessive_planners_out_here/
---
Just wondering if anyone out there excessively plans out their day, not just meals. I bullet journal when I have the energy, but I've been engaging in an uphill battle with my anxiety/depression, so I haven't touched it in a few weeks. Right now, I use a system that contains Google cal, to-do lists, and reminders on my phone. When school starts back up I'm thinking of switching back to the Passion Planner, because I like planning hourly.

*Edited for spelling and details

---

[Help] Tips for longer fasts?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 09:36:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pb9n8/tips_for_longer_fasts/
---
So now that it's summer and I don't have to worry about focusing at school I decided to do my longest fast yet. 48 hours at least, but hopefully I can push it to 60 (dinner on Monday to breakfast on Friday). My longest so far has been 36 and that went well but I wanted to hear any tips from people who have done a similar length. What were your biggest hurdles? When did they appear?

This won't be a pure 0 calorie fast, I'm allowing things like milk in my coffee and coconut water for electrolytes (plus the occasional cigarette to stave off cravings :/). I'm also not doing any real exercise besides walking and yoga.

So if you feel like sharing your experiences, I would love to hear them!

---

[Goal] I reached my goal... And then some
/u/downtownhomebound
Created: Wed Jun 22 09:21:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pb6pr/i_reached_my_goal_and_then_some/
---
I got the happy scale app about a week ago, and I set my goal loss per week to 3 kilos. According to the app, I'll be my goal weight in less than 3 months. The thing about setting my goal per week to 3 kilos is I actually have to lose that amount too, not just write it down. I was at about 2,3 lost in a week on the 6th day of the week, so I had absolutely no idea if I could actually reach 3 kilos lost in a week, I was kind of terrified! I'd have to recalculate, this would add at least another two weeks to my schedule, those kinds of thoughts just ran through my head... And then I stood on the scale. I have lost 3,9 kilos in a week. 1,6 lost in two days. I am so happy right now!!!!

(Can't flair I don't have a computer I'm sorry)

---

[Help] Plateau from Hell
/u/edthrow5789 [5'0 | 131.5lbs | 27.04 | -13.5lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 09:16:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pb5tz/plateau_from_hell/
---
Hey guys, I'm posting from a throwaway because I have friends/family that know my regular account and I don't want them to see me posting here. Essentially my problem is that I've been at a stupid plateau for a week when it doesn't make sense. My TDEE 1537 and I've been eating within 800-1000 calories a day but I'm not losing weight. I've tried drinking more water and eating more fiber to flush myself out in case it was bloat but nothing has changed. I just bought some Smooth Move tea as well as Weightless tea, hopefully that should help but I was wondering if a fast could also help break a plateau?

---

[Discussion] Someone posted about a podcast
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 08:46:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pb0e0/someone_posted_about_a_podcast/
---
Does anyone have good body podcasts? I guess kinda ed related, but I want to hear people talking about food and how they think about their body even if they are like "I love everything about my body". I don't know if this sounds weird.

This is a good example of what I am kinda thinking about: http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast//episode-697-nikki-glaser

---

[Help] Is the Aria scale inaccurate?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 08:40:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pazep/is_the_aria_scale_inaccurate/
---
It showed me weighing less than the other one I have at home. I'm up by 3 lbs and already fucked up my calories for the day. I don't see how this is possible.

---

[Rant/Rave] a personal breakdown of the pros and cons of binging and purging
/u/sunflowerfairy [4'11" | no goal weight; nothing will ever be good enough.]
Created: Wed Jun 22 08:05:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pat15/a_personal_breakdown_of_the_pros_and_cons_of/
---
b/ping. a great thing for people who still want to eat without having to put on weight. b/ping helps with startlingly rapid weight loss (which i can affirm, although i can't get too specific about numbers bc i haven't weighed myself in ages) and purging alleviates a lot of the guilt that springs up from daring to put food in your body. purging is actually quite calming for me, however weird that might be.


so purging is also kind of therapeutic. at least, for me, it sort of gives me a way of dealing with emotions in a way i normally can't. and i feel that it also kinda provides a way to "harm" yourself in a way that also feels good (if that makes any sense...)


it's great bc you can still have all your favourite foods. and guess what? b/ping is easier to hide than restricting! (or so you'd think...)


so you have your rapid weight loss, sense of relief and validation for your identity as an "unwell" person. **yay!** that wraps it up for the pros. now moving on the more important aspect - the cons.


firstly, binging/purging is damned expensive. i honestly hate myself for all the money i waste on food, money that could've been saved, kept for other things. money that could've spent on necessities or clothes or jewelry or makeup or whatever. i'm not sure i could ever calculate how much money (and food) that i've wasted that just ends up going down the drain, and it kills me to have to think about that.


and all the other almost immeasurable health risks and general disadvantages. cracked lips, mouth sores, sore throat, chipmunk cheeks, bruised knuckles, fucked up metabolism, aching muscles from looming over the toilet, severe dehydration, dizziness, rotting teeth from all the stomach acid, too weak for exercise, exhaustion, the copious amount of secrecy that needs to be maintained, having to lie all the time...


...and **still** not losing the amount of weight that you'd hoped to. and having to feel like you're going down this path because of your "failed anorexia," because you weren't strong enough for a "real" eating disorder, and that you're just taking the easy road. having to deal with all the anxiety and depression that comes from bulimia, and keeping it to yourself because you feel like it'll never be "good enough."


and so you have that all, a countless number of cons for such a small amount of pros. why not just quit the whole thing then?


because no matter how big of a problem you know it is and no matter all the cons that are even present through personal experience, it's difficult to stop. it's hard to break free from such a chaotic (but addictive) cycle that lets you justify your lack of self-control and give you the illusion that you have any in the first place. it's something that feels like a gateway from avoiding painful feelings but kind of ends up entailing an even more significant sense of worthlessness and lower self-esteem...and yet, it becomes even more addictive.


**...sorry for the unnecessary rant.** i've been *very* down in the dumps recently and this was super cathartic to write out, and /r/proED feels like a judgement-free sanctuary. (i've basically been in a spot where i've started to hate myself over a lot of things, and how it all, in the end, seems like i'm just justifying all my harmful behavior with "but i can't help it...")


i hope any of you ladies out there going through the same thing know that you're not alone. :/ please stay safe, stay happy.

---

[Goal] This is what my legs looked like 15 pounds ago :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 22 07:34:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4panxa/this_is_what_my_legs_looked_like_15_pounds_ago/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/5b10a084fcb846fbab9025a970b0e5f2?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=f7f1a757bc453b8b147f2e7935c517d9

---

[Help] I'm dealing with some health issues, and my doctor is changing my diet.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Jun 22 07:09:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pajwp/im_dealing_with_some_health_issues_and_my_doctor/
---
Not necessarily changing in a bad way, she just mostly wants me to be eating AT LEAST 30g of fiber a day.

She also put me on Zoloft, which I'm already feeling the affects on my appetite.

How do I eat 30g of fiber under 500cal a day? 500cal is my max that I ever want to eat at, but I have a feeling this isn't possible, even with supplements...

Anyone have some advice?

---

[Rant/Rave] 39.9 kg
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jun 22 07:02:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4paiyr/399_kg/
---
My personal trainer made me step on the fancy-pants gym scale again today.

I didn't want to. I knew my weight from last week. It made me feel terrible. I had stepped on that machine before at the gym - even posted about it here. But he had a new routine for me, and says it about time we track my progress officially with him recording it now that I'm not a newbie any more. He wants to get numbers for my muscle weight/lean body mass, he said. Easing me into the world of lifting is over, it's time to crack down on progress, he said.

I agreed. I mean, I agreed for my doctor, so I had to agree for my trainer. I trust him more than my doctor anyway, if I'm honest.. but I really didn't want to.

I didn't look as it weighed me, and then when my trainer pressed the button and it scanned me. I couldn't. But he wrote down all my stats.. and he made me look at the sheet afterwards.

*Weight: 39.9kg*.

My head *swam*. 39.9 kg. 87.9 lbs. 6.3 stone. BMI, also recorded, 17.1.

My goal. That's my weight goal. What the fuck?

Over the past two weeks, my weight has been bouncing around between 92lbs and 97lbs. I decided it must be 95lbs. Even at the doctors visit, it was 93lbs.

The machine did a full body scan of everything. I have my report card here.

It says my bodyfat is 11.4%... but I know it's not that accurate on that type of machine. I mentioned this to my trainer. He said to me, no, it's likely a few percentage points off - a few percentage points too low, specifically - but looking at me he doesn't think it's much off. "You're naturally quite lean anyway, your bodyfat was never the problem. The only problem is you're a bit weedy, which is what we're aiming to fix" he said about me.. (haha, *naturally* lean, yes...)

I asked him the big question "Could the weight be inaccurate too then?"

He says no. That's just a normal scale that weighs you before any scanning starts, and is kept accurate. Can't afford to have an inaccurate scale in the reception room at a gym even if he can't do anything about the bf% scanning part being dodgy, apparently - *I guess not*. "As I said, you are naturally small" he says. He then said, taking into account that my bodyfat% is probably a few points higher than the machine reports (15%, in his opinion), all my stats add up.

*I vaguely remember him saying "It's going to take a lot to build you up, isn't it?"*, but I wasn't listening to him at that point, I admit.

I was trying to think, as I still am now.. did I have water weight and bloat the other times I've weighed myself? Honest answer is, actually yes. Yes, the previous times I've weighed myself I have been constipated, bloated, and felt I had water weight. Today is the first time I've woken up and gone to the gym *not* feeling totally puffed out with the aftermath of my usual Sunday binge (I did binge last Sunday, but not as much, and my bloat went down much quicker than usual).

But.. THAT much bloat? THAT much water weight? Can poop really add up to that much? **Do I dare believe it?** I mean heck, I only lowered my goal weight from 90lbs to 88lbs *last week*, in response to the doctor weighing me in at 93lbs...

What the fuck do I weigh?

*What the hell is going on with me?*

So now I am sitting here chain smoking because I feel so lost and confused.

I don't think I'll believe it yet. He's checking me again in a month. I'll believe what it says then.

---

[Discussion] Has anyone ever tried 5HTP?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 06:51:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pahc5/has_anyone_ever_tried_5htp/
---
My bf suggested it because he's been using it to help with his depression and he says it helps with mood and appetite too. Has anyone tried it?

---

[Help] How do you overcome a plateau?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 22 06:49:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4pagxk/how_do_you_overcome_a_plateau/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday June 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 22 06:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4paa8k/way_to_go_wednesday_june_22_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for June 22, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Tip] My new favourite lunch for only 160 kcal.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 22 03:57:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p9wc2/my_new_favourite_lunch_for_only_160_kcal/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/19dee9f2c9b9443897eb3201c906f2dd?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=f9bf01979685244c517a58d9a2c28e57

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[Rant/Rave] I weighed myself. 2 different scales. One said 117.8 the other said 121.2 FML
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 03:55:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p9w4w/i_weighed_myself_2_different_scales_one_said_1178/
---
I was down to 115.6
Just 10 days ago.

Fuck fuck fuck. I feel gross. I cant sleep. My pants feel tight. I feel thick and heavy and full. :(

All i ate today was 2 string cheeses and a piece of chocolate.

And im laying in bed and my stomach is yelling at me.

And all i can think about is how many hours i might be able to sleep until i can have another cup of black coldbrew coffee. I just want to keep losing. Why the fuck did i let myself binge all week????


I am so mad. I hate this.

---

[Rant/Rave] Fuck this fat society. Fuck lazy, weak-willed people. Fuck those crabs in this bucket. Fuck everyone. Fuck them.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jun 22 01:01:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p9dy7/fuck_this_fat_society_fuck_lazy_weakwilled_people/
---
Seriously, fuck them. What the fuck is wrong with them, how can they live like that.

Happy to be fat. Thinking it's okay to be chubby. No, thinking it's *slim* to be chubby. Wobbling around, fat everywhere, stuffing their faces with sandwiches.

And I'm the one who is in the wrong? Bitches, I'm fat. Okay, at least chubby. I can see it. I can measure it. I am trying to fix it BECAUSE I'M NOT A LAZY ASSHOLE.

I struggle with weak willpower too, I'm no different to them in that way.. thing is? I fucking admit that, and I fucking keep trying to work on it, rather than try to excuse it away by pretending my excess fat is at all okay. Cus it's fucking not. Being fat isn't okay just because I, or they, have shitty willpower.

I might not be doing amazingly right now but I am DETERMINED to fucking GET THERE and admit my goddamn faults and gluttony in the process, and *fix. my. shit*.

**Fuck all those crabs in this stinking bucket**. I'm having a hard enough time achieving what I need to achieve without them trying to pull me down.

Fuck. I'M. FAT.

---

[Help] hydroxycut!?!
/u/windowswave
Created: Wed Jun 22 01:00:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p9dry/hydroxycut/
---
Any reviews, tips, or anything for hydroxycut. I'm trying so hard to lose twenty pounds nothing is working im so desperate

---

[Goal] GOAL
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Wed Jun 22 00:40:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p9bk3/goal/
---
hit a goal! under GW at 106 i thought i would be happy at 108 but not even happy at 106 but had a stressful week where i didnt eat much or sleep and wow damn so motivated to keep it up. prob avg 400 cals a day + mad excercise
bmi not updated till i lose these last 6

---

[Help] Anxious beach day tomorrow..tips to reduce bloating?
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 22 00:34:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p9ax2/anxious_beach_day_tomorrowtips_to_reduce_bloating/
---
Tomorrow im going to the beach. I get really bloated in my hips/gut and was wondering what i could do to reduce it! I didnt consume too many calories today, and drank two cups of green tea. If any of you have tips, please let me know :)

---

[Rant/Rave] [Rant/rave] haven't weighed this much in a long time , fml
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Wed Jun 22 00:22:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p99fw/rantrave_havent_weighed_this_much_in_a_long_time/
---
(Sorry if the flair doesn't work properly, im on mobile again.)
Recently I've been eating waaaay too much and was too scared to check my weight until this morning and I'm back up to 120lbs :( I feel absolutely vile. Fortunately today is my last day of class before summer break - my summer plans revolve around being so constantly busy that I have minimal time to eat, and I'm gonna try to get a couple of fast days into my routine too. Plus i think the over eating was mostly cos of stress/procrastination. Not sure how much weight it'd be possible to lose over the next two months but my plan is to be down to double digits by the time I turn eighteen so if I lose a pound a week starting from July I'd nearly be there, just a couple off ... For now I'm eating an apple to get some fibre to help me shift some of this weight (I know at least part of it is water weight / food from last night) and then I'm gonna fast for as long as possible. Here's to hoping I can do this :')

---

[Rant/Rave] I really don't want to binge, but I'm pretty sure I'll end up there tonight
/u/08070427 [5'5" | 127.5 | 21.3 | -8 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 23:09:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p90t0/i_really_dont_want_to_binge_but_im_pretty_sure/
---
First post. I feel like I should have had more of an introduction, but I guess there's time for that later.


I never fast. I never do cardio. I hate both. I usually lift heavy and eat as little as possible (always under 1000cal) during the week. But the last two weeks I started including a bit of cardio. I felt so great. I've been losing at an acceptable rate , and still drinking on the weekends.


But last weekend, I feel like it fucked me all up. I was down to my lowest in almost four years. I feel like the light cardio helped get me there. To be fair, I've lost a lot of muscle since my last LW. But still, I had a woosh, and I felt great. I always account for alcohol, but I never drink beer. This weekend, I drank beer and ate whatever.

I gained three pounds. I know most of it was water weight, but I was so close to my first goal (125 lbs) I felt like I needed to fast in the first time in my almost decade of having an ED.

I made it almost 48 hours. Then prepared a plate of fresh veggies for me and my boyfriend. Then drank a bottle of red wine. Then ate half of the veggies.

Booze is my weakness. I love drinking. I love it more than I love anything. BUT! Now I sit here, KNOWING I have to get up early if I want to go to the gym tomorrow, KNOWING, I'm probably going to drink another bottle of wine. KNOWING I'm going to eat a full roasted chicken breast and then more. KNOWING I'm going to fucking feel shitty about myself and everything as opposed to when I don't drink and don't eat and exercise hard.


I'm such a sucker for immediate satisfaction.

I guess that's why I'm an alcoholic with EDNOS and OCD?


/rant

I'm gunna go do things that make me hate myself tomorrow.

---

[Help] I don't want to lose something good because of my bulimia...
/u/AlessaTyler [168 cm | 149 | 24.50 | 97lbs]
Created: Tue Jun 21 22:09:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p8svq/i_dont_want_to_lose_something_good_because_of_my/
---
So, I've recently returned from college and my heavy restriction/purging has caused me to lose a lot of weight and everyone back home is noticing. In a good way. I've even begun a casual sexual relationship with an old friend that I've always kind of had a really close best friend type relationship. We're kind of living that really awful Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis movie, minus the lovey dovey crap at the end. We agreed that it wouldn't get to that point. Friends first. Sex second.

He keeps bugging me about my weight-loss, asking for stats or how I did it. I can easily brush those questions off by using my usual excuses, broke student, excessive partying, walking everywhere etc...

The one thing that gets me is that he asks why I refuse to go down on him, he doesn't mind if I don't because it's not a necessity. But the other day I accidentally let slip that I "can't" instead of "won't" or "don't want to" or "don't like it". (I say that I can't because I'm scared, I'm scared to even put food in my mouth, let alone something else. And I'm so used to putting my fingers down there to induce purging, like it just seems weird.) That caught his attention, and now he's asking more and more questions.

I want to tell him, just bust out with "I can't because I have bulimia."

But I don't want him to be disgusted with me. I couldn't handle my best friend's expression if he thought I was a "disgusting puker"... I also don't want him to not want to sleep with me because of it. I feel like if that fell apart now, our friendship would crumble as well.
I just don't know what to do.
EDIT: I realize that it may seem as though he's pushing for something that I've refused, but that isn't the case. We tell each other everything and always have, and he can tell when I'm hiding something. Which is why he asks a lot because he wants to make sure there isn't something that happened while I was away at school or something along those lines.

---

[Rant/Rave] Flair update shame
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 21 21:35:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p8oa3/flair_update_shame/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] Remember to drunk water if you up your fiber!
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Tue Jun 21 21:26:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p8n5f/remember_to_drunk_water_if_you_up_your_fiber/
---
Bought fiber gimmies and was extremely surprised by the sudden weight gain and "non regularity". You need to take in much more water or it can actually cause water retention and constipation! Hopefully this falls off by tomorrow. :l

---

[Goal] My attempt at binge prevention.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 21:14:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p8lcq/my_attempt_at_binge_prevention/
---
http://i.imgur.com/0Eiz1CB.jpg

---

[Intro] Random motivation for myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 21 21:03:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p8jru/random_motivation_for_myself/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Unsure if I agree with it all, but this podcast helped me unpack the ways I think about fat and my own body
/u/pretentiousintrovert [5'6 | 159# | FML | -12#]
Created: Tue Jun 21 18:25:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p7wq9/unsure_if_i_agree_with_it_all_but_this_podcast/
---
http://m.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/589/tell-me-im-fat

---

[Tip] [Tip] Read or watch revolting media, instantly lose your appetite!
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 17:17:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p7lsv/tip_read_or_watch_revolting_media_instantly_lose/
---
Just watched a horrible video in /r/WTF of someone squeezing pus out of an infected spider bite.

Hooooly shit.

---

[Help] Does anyone else get extremely stressed out when plans change suddenly?
/u/lostin_spring [5'11" | CW:149.5 GW:135 | 21.0 | -30 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 17:14:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p7l6y/does_anyone_else_get_extremely_stressed_out_when/
---
I've noticed this getting worse for me lately and I get extremely upset when plans change suddenly (especially in regards to meals).

Do you guys have any good ways of handling it?

---

[Discussion] It's okay to make mistakes
/u/m_inimal
Created: Tue Jun 21 17:03:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p7j5h/its_okay_to_make_mistakes/
---
...as long as you deal with them properly.

I've done this restricting on-and-off thing for a few years, where I'll be really good and disciplined for about a week at a time, and then one bad choice will cause me to completely fall off the bandwagon. It can be something as stupid as eating just one unplanned non-safe snack, and my whole day will fall to shit, followed by my whole restricting falling to shit, thereby erasing my progress.

Guys yesterday I was nannying and felt munchy between breakfast and lunch, and I broke my rules twofold: I ate between meals, and I ate a non-safe food (Goldfish). Lunch was healthy and ok, but when I got home I felt so bad about having messed up earlier that I ate some ice cream and a sandwich, breaking two rules again!! (non safe foods, and I never eat dinner anymore) I was like FUUUUCKKK NOOOO I've been doing so good!!! Why did I do this :((

But you know what? Instead of going nuts, instead of losing all my progress, I decided to do the right thing. I went on a 25 minute run (helped that I was listening to this awesome [reverse-thinspo episode](http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/589/tell-me-im-fat) of my favorite podcast) and then did 40 minutes of power yoga. And today, I ate my normal breakfast, but then only some watermelon for lunch, and back to the good ol' no-dinner policy.

Multiple good things came from this:

* I learned that one mistake doesn't mean all your progress has to be ruined. Just. Fix. It.

* Messing up HURTS, literally. I had some horrible digestive issues today and felt bloated as hell, probably because my gut isn't used to the trash of bread and ice cream anymore. That pain alone would discourage future fuck-ups.

* I ended up not eating the lunch I packed for today, and just left it at my babysitting family's house, so guess who doesn't have to pack lunch for tomorrow suckaaaa!!! :)

I hope you guys can be victorious this week too!!!
Edit: I can't format

---

[Rant/Rave] I have to leave the house wearing shorts :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 21 16:28:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p7d5r/i_have_to_leave_the_house_wearing_shorts/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Results of the survey (more than 300 results!)
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 16:05:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p797c/results_of_the_survey_more_than_300_results/
---
Hey guys! Well i have the results. I pretended to upload them in a week but i recieved more than 300 answers and my survey only recieved up to 100 answers ( i know, it sucks). So here are the results in graphics:
http://imgur.com/a/8Ics3

And here are the results of the questions that had the choice of writing your own answer:

How did your eating disorder begin:
-------------------------------------------
Boyfriend issues


Self esteem problems/felt insecure/didnt like my body


Anxiety


Control issues


Depression


Media


Bullying


Tried to lose weight in an unhealthy way


Peer pressure


Pregnancy


Sports


Diet


Abuse


Stress


Traumatic event

Which factor do you think plays the biggest part of developing an eating disorder:
-------------------------------------------

Perfectionism


Emotional trauma


Sports coaches


Stress


Personality


Life


Peers


Lack of control in life


Tendency towards mental illness


People I see in my day to day existence.


The media, commercials, movies etc.



Eating disorders you suffer from:
-------------------------------------------

Restrictive but not low bmi.


Very restrictive about what I eat and feel guilty when I eat "normal".


Endos


Emetophobia


Restrictive eating disorder


Anorexia morphed into bulimia.



Your BMI is..
-------------------------------------------

I havent calculated it because i dont want to know


I'm too afraid to look


No idea - I am in recovery and do not monitor my weight

---

[Discussion] Sometimes I look in the mirror and think I am really close to goals, other times it's the complete opposite.
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 15:21:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p716o/sometimes_i_look_in_the_mirror_and_think_i_am/
---
This has got to be psychological because it really doesn't make sense. Sometimes I'll look in my mirror naked and be like wow! This is progress! Then other times I feel like I look the worst I ever have in my life! Is this happening to you guys too? I feel like I'm a pretty normal person and for my mind to play tricks on me like that is really just crazy.

---

[Help] my ED is taking ahold of my again and my body dysmorphia is fucking with my head i literally cant tell if im skinny or not. this is hell.
/u/rosewater40oz
Created: Tue Jun 21 15:06:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p6yh0/my_ed_is_taking_ahold_of_my_again_and_my_body/
---
http://imgur.com/a/fD1gR

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[Discussion] I'm so disgusted by my body that I can't face taking a shower
/u/thebondoftrust
Created: Tue Jun 21 15:04:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p6y5y/im_so_disgusted_by_my_body_that_i_cant_face/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p6y5y/im_so_disgusted_by_my_body_that_i_cant_face/

---

[Rant/Rave] Feel fatter than ever.
/u/KillingKylie [5'5| Piggy|-25|F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 11:46:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p5wmp/feel_fatter_than_ever/
---
Ugh!!! I feel like I am getting fatter; I know it is not true. My hipbones are starting to poke out, ribs are showing more, collarbones, shoulder blades yadda yadda ya.

Why can everyone else see it and I can't? The smaller I get the bigger I look!! I can't weigh myself, every time I do I stop eating until I end up in the hospital extremely dehydrated or unable to keep liquids down. Fuckity fuck fuck!!

---

[Rant/Rave] Well that was a setback
/u/ED_Throwaway_ [5f7 | Manatee | -4 | GW 132 | GQ]
Created: Tue Jun 21 11:43:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p5w1b/well_that_was_a_setback/
---
Spouse has been without Adderall for the better part of a week (Adult ADHD diagnosis). Last night was horrible - I came home to tacos, stuffed potato skins, buffalo wings, a shared favorite ice cream (half gallon - not even a pint), and a bunch of other assorted crap. Thankfully, there was only one day of "OMG I AM STARVING AND MUST EAT ALL THE THINGS!!!" before the Adderall was refilled (we had a gap due to stupid insurance/pharmacy changes and they kept blaming each other for not being able to fill the RX).

There went my plan to grill chicken & steam broccoli, some frozen fruit as a treat. I haven't even tried to figure out the calorie count of last night's horror binge. I spent hours just obsessing over it, with tears in private. I am so gross today because of it - I feel bloated, miserable, my head hurts, my joints ache (we usually don't do grains of any sort, so these binges are awful on multiple levels), and my head is foggy.

On top of this, my boss wants to get together this afternoon to go over my annual performance review & discuss my future plans. UGH. I'm a mess right now. I don't really know what else to say, I just needed to get all of this out there.

I feel horrible.

I feel guilty.

I am physically miserable.

I am so horrified by myself & how easily I was swayed to the crapstravaganza last night.

I feel weak. I hate that more than anything. So, I'm just going through the motions of the day, when I need to actually be paying attention, seriously on top of things. Timing always has to suck, right?

---

[Discussion] Waist size.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jun 21 11:40:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p5vhj/waist_size/
---
I have an urge to talk about waist sizes!

Do you have a target waist size?

Where exactly do you measure?

How tight do you hold the measuring tape?

How many lbs have you noticed translate to inch loss, for you?

Any other thoughts on waist size? :3

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[Rant/Rave] Can I be any more disgusting
/u/RedPanda247 [5'4 | CW 59.6 kg 131.4 lbs | 22.4 :( | -8kg | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 11:23:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p5s28/can_i_be_any_more_disgusting/
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I am so done with myself, I sometimes wonder if there is some hidden part of myself that is trying to sabotage every wish I have :((

Backstory: since October i miraculously managed to lose 8 kg (5 in the last month and half) (stress, restricting, almost no working out though), so I was celebrating my new weight by new clothes, however the euphoria is over and im back to ~~feel~~ LOOK like a whale

Hate the ppl that look at like "OMG you lost so much weight"
Cant you see I didnt, i still look horrible and I still have a huge belly and thighs and face

Im going back to my home country in 3 weeks and gonna see so many friends that I didnt see in ages, and wanted to prove so many others wrong, But clothes still look bad, and I cant even bear to look at myself in a swimming suit. And i wanted to lose additional 5kg till then, to look at least a bit decent. And its doable. If only to restrict properly

BUT...here I am, with all my goals, sitting and eating already half a jar of peanut butter.
Well done, you stupid cow

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 21 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p5c82/daily_food_diary_june_21_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Thinspo] Real life thinspiration.
/u/karlie511
Created: Tue Jun 21 09:49:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p59t9/real_life_thinspiration/
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I was standing in line at the grocery store today when these two super tiny girls came up behind me. They looked exactly how I want to look and they both seemed to be my height. I've never felt more inspired looking at them.

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[Help] I need support..
/u/MermaidHeart [5'6" | 123lbs | 21.1 | 16lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Jun 21 09:25:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p55bt/i_need_support/
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I've dropped the ball in every sense... I am completely lost with my goals.

I had this amazing time where I was losing weight, stopped focusing on food, and feeling SO MUCH BETTER.

Now I hate everything again. I've been EATING. Again, my whole life is revolving around EATING. When will my next fix be? What will I eat when I get home? What will I make the bf when he gets home? FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FUCKING FOOD. I just stopped losing altogether and I'm so so focused on food, I cannot take it. My stomach is kinda growing again, and while the scale stayed the time, I feel like I'm getting chunkier.

Please help, I need encouragement :(

---

[Discussion] Helpful workouts?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 21 09:15:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p53gl/helpful_workouts/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling full
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 08:57:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p50c1/feeling_full/
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I feel full. Uncomfortably so. In fact I cannot focus on anything else...

Why do I feel like this? Beacuse I went for a run and my boyfriend insisted on making me something for breakfast, but I normally don't eat breakfast and I haven't for several weeks. I let him cook me an egg and one piece of dry toast. Apparently because of that I feel full... Good lord. Never again.

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[Rant/Rave] I miscalculated my calorie counts and now my lunch is double what I thought it was
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 08:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p500d/i_miscalculated_my_calorie_counts_and_now_my/
---
Ever have one of those days where everything just seems to go wrong? Last night I had friends over for board games which was a lot of fun. I planned to make a simple risotto for dinner and estimated calories for snacks in my daily log. Here comes the problem, my 1 cup of risotto is twice as high as I thought it was because I had looked at the amounts for the rice cooked instead of dry -_- but not only that, my bf went to go grab snacks and came back with dill pickle potato chips which I decided to taste and loved which quickly turned into a few small handfuls. But then I realized that I had never looked at the packaging and when I did I saw that they're 150 calories for 9 chips... 9! I seriously fucked up. Yesterday I was so happy because I was finally under 150 lbs (149.9 but still), wake up this morning and I'm back at 150.6. But I had also packed 1 cup of risotto for lunch today with my usual 80 calorie yogurt for breakfast and didn't actually figure out my mistake until about 10 minutes ago. That means I'm going to be an extra 159 calories over what I thought I was before dinner. I could probably get away with not eating all of it but risotto is such a heavy thing that I didn't bring anything to go along with it like cucumbers or something low cal as a side. I eat lunch with people and I think they'd probably notice if I only ate half a cup because we frequently talk about food as a number of us like to cook. I know that an extra 159 calories isn't the end of the world, I just feel very disappointed in myself about yesterday and this seems like a big let down after seeing my weight go up this morning. I'm thinking of making vegetarian wontons for dinner, I even found wrappers that are only 130 calories for 8 wrappers in hopes that I'd be able to have all 8 but now I'm thinking I'll have less than that and we'll see what happens. Hope it's a better today tomorrow! Thanks for letting me rant :) this sub is really the best and the support from everyone here is truly wonderful, I don't know what I'd do without it

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[Rant/Rave] I wish I lived alone
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 08:41:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p4xj3/i_wish_i_lived_alone/
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I'm sure most everyone has family issues up the wazoo, so this isn't anything groundbreaking.

But I just can't handle it. Between my mom's snide comments that I want to starve myself, and my dad's short temper whenever I express any individuality or desires. God forbid either of them realize I'm an adult.

I ate breakfast today. I usually don't, it makes me feel queasy as I'm on my feet and running around a lot for work (I work at McDonald's part time). But I had a day off and I caved in to my mom's nagging. It wasn't much, just my regular granola bar (170cal). As soon as my dad got home, though, I regretted it.

He's so quick to blame things on me, or to shout at others when he's angry. Of course I heard him complaining to my mom about me. I haven't talked to him in a couple days, and according to him, it's on me. Not on the fact that he yelled at me a couple days ago and made me cry.

Sometimes I feel like I restrict to punish him.

"I'm almost underweight and it's because of you."

But of course he wouldn't care. And I don't want to attribute all of my weight loss to him. I worked hard to get to where I am.

---

[Rant/Rave] So went summer shopping....
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 08:28:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p4vcd/so_went_summer_shopping/
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So I went shopping some clothes for the summer with my husband. I needed new jeans because my fat thighs had rubbed so much against each other that my old jeans had worn out in the *non thigh gap* area. Really anxiety inducing, and my sweet man tries to help me find a pair....but you know....I'm looking at a pair that are pretty and try to find my size when he asks me "What size are you? shouldn't it be size X?" which actually is about two sizes bigger then I wear, so naturally his comment makes me feel like a total whale.
After that I had to look at some swim wear.....And I've seen so many pictures of beautiful, thin women in miss matched bikinis, you know where the top and bottom don't match. And I think it looks so cool!
But I could just see myself in a miss matched bikini, and what people would think: "Not only is she fat, she is apparently blind as well since she can't match for shit!" Kind of made myself laugh a bit....So no bikini....

But yeah, now my SO's comment is stuck in my head and I'm sitting here in my new jeans, really needing to pack for our trip, But I simply don't have the energy to go through all my clothes and feeling even worse.

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[Discussion] Has anyone else used their car as a sauna?
/u/Blehergered [5'3 | 156.4 | Overweight | -25 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 08:21:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p4u5c/has_anyone_else_used_their_car_as_a_sauna/
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I started my period yesterday and was retaining water like crazy! It's been super hot where I live, so I decided I would weigh myself, sit in my car for 20 minutes, and then see if I lost any weight.

Guys, I was 168.8 lbs before I went out there and ended up weighing 164.6 lbs after! I lost 4.2 lbs! I know it is just water weight, but I felt so much better. Has anyone else tried this?

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[Help] I need a body check on a photo I just got of myself from last weekend.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 21 07:36:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p4mkc/i_need_a_body_check_on_a_photo_i_just_got_of/
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[removed]

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[Discussion] Has anyone noticed cold water makes the hunger pangs worse?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 07:01:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p4gym/has_anyone_noticed_cold_water_makes_the_hunger/
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I love drinking cold water over warm, but if I'm having pretty severe hunger pangs at the time it makes them insanely painful and makes me nauseated. Does this happen to anyone else?

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[Rant/Rave] I have a houseguest
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 06:54:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p4fx9/i_have_a_houseguest/
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And feel pretty terrible about myself right now.

My guest is a friend I know from online. She's stayed with me before so I know her well enough to know how she's going to be. Plus we've roomed together for a couple of cons. Anyway, she's about 50 or so (I'd guess) more pounds than I am. And it's super inspiring.

Ugh. I feel terrible but watching her eat, makes me eat even less (which is great, but the reasoning behind it makes me feel awful. I'm the worst friend ever). Plus. I don't love eating in front of people so the chances of me binging over the next week are super low. Plus feeling like I know I have more power over food than her makes me feel good about myself. But terrible at the same time.

I don't know. This is a super ramble.

I both want her to stay forever, because I might never overeat again, but I also want her to leave, because I feel bad about myself as a human being. Sigh.

Enjoy your Tuesday, loves.

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[Tip] 50 Foods under 100 calories, choose Wisely, Not safe if you are extremely restricting warning.
/u/jimmyolsenblues
Created: Tue Jun 21 06:40:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p4don/50_foods_under_100_calories_choose_wisely_not/
---
http://i.imgur.com/bb10wSt.jpg

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[Discussion] What do you think is a long time to not eat?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Tue Jun 21 06:18:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p4ac6/what_do_you_think_is_a_long_time_to_not_eat/
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I can never tell how long is normal between meals and how long is a long time to not have eaten. I used to think that 2 was super late to not have eaten all day, but now I'm at uni I don't eat until I get home, but even then I don't think it's all that long to go without food. What do y'all consider a long time?

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A June 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 21 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p4830/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_june_21_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Discussion] [discussion] Super inspiring people who just happen to be gorgeously thin?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 21 05:56:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p47cf/discussion_super_inspiring_people_who_just_happen/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Birth control making you fat - thoughts/experiences?
/u/katiejay_ [5"9 | Godzilla | BMI 26 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 21 04:47:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p3zig/birth_control_making_you_fat_thoughtsexperiences/
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Sorry for being awol, I've been sick all week, and as a result eating shit food. Sad story for another time.

Anyway I have been on an oral contraceptive for about 3-4 years now and it seems to be okay but I get breakthrough bleeding sometimes and it's really annoying, and it's a pain remembering to take the pill every day, especially in the weekend. I was thinking about talking to my doctor about other types like the implant or injection but I have just heard so many horror stories about girls getting them and gaining like 30+lbs almost instantly. Too scary to fathom. I went to school with a girl who's sister went from a size 4 to a size 14 as a result of the implant.

Better to run like hell, or do more research? I would actually have a mental breakdown and quit my job if I gained another 30lbs. I know everyone's bodies react differently but what are you guys using/would you recommend anything?

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[Rant/Rave] In case anyone needed a self esteem boost
/u/qwertylooping [5' 3" | LW 107 | CW: dory speaks my language]
Created: Tue Jun 21 02:11:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p3jtf/in_case_anyone_needed_a_self_esteem_boost/
---
Good news: you aren't me! I did you guys a favor and tested the limit of human metabolism the last three days by gaining 10 lbs in actual fat. No, not water + food weight. REAL WEIGHT. FAT WEIGHT. Yes, I calculated the calories and it all adds up. So if you ever wondered if it's possible that the human body stops absorbing calories due to sheer overload of food - nope, it doesn't. You're welcome, science! In case anyone wants to see my shame (nsfw): http://imgur.com/Ky5o2BF

Edit: sorry can't flair, on mobile. and yes I'm wearing underwear but it's nude and does its job very well apparently

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[Rant/Rave] Mom accidently breaking my 3 day binge spree.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 23:55:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p35d7/mom_accidently_breaking_my_3_day_binge_spree/
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I had gone downhill and just binged on junk food for three whole days. I don't want to step on the scale out of fear and am starting an EC stack tomorrow. I go to my mom's to visit on day 3/3 of binge telling her that I had "faturday" with my bf (basically an excuse to binge eat). My mom thinks I'm some super health nut, which to most extents I am. So I am eating candy WHICH SHE TOLD ME SHE LEAVES OUT WHEN SHE KNOWS I'M COMING OVER and I am going to fucking town on it. She says (obviously joking)" you know your cheat day is over. Be careful you could get fat " I just responded by saying she shouldn't say that and sneaking food the duration of my visit.

She thinks I am recovered from my disordered eating so she doesn't really think about the things she says... I just am sad I know I must have gone up like 15 lbs in food weight alone the last 3 days. My stomach is descended and my mom said I would get fat. Even if it's a joke it means obviously I'm big enough she knows she doesn't have to worry about me not eating. I don't want her to worry, but I want to be thin enough she knows not to say that shit.

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[Discussion] Haha... I'm back, bitches.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 20 23:39:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p33hs/haha_im_back_bitches/
---
Over and over I leave and come back...

"Recovery"... "relapse"... where do the labels start and where do they end? Do they even mean anything anymore?

I'm living my life, and some days I just don't eat. And most nights, I simply skip dinner.

I'm liquid fasting/body purging tomorrow. Armed and ready with coconut water, kombucha, unsweetened soy milk & LOTS AND LOTS of water!

Wish me luck, pin-thin friends.

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[Other] Free Pie DENIED.
/u/xshinystickerx [Height 5'0" | CW 107 | BMI 20 | Weight Lost 15lbs | UGW 95]
Created: Mon Jun 20 23:29:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p32c6/free_pie_denied/
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My work periodically offers free pie and its called "Pie Night". I've been dreading this for weeks and it finally came tonight. Instead of going crazy and having multiple pieces of pie I instead took 2 pieces of fruit off of one of the top of the pies and only had that. I am so excited and proud! This weekend was a nightmare for me and even though I binged yesterday, today is a new day. This week I will conquer !

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[Rant/Rave] I got what I wished for
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 22:17:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p2tcm/i_got_what_i_wished_for/
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[rant/rave] On mobile can't flair sorry

So as mentioned in other posts I'm in NYC and I've been binging. To be totally honest it's like 50% because it's been hard to get out of eating with all my friends and family and 50% because I just fail at keeping myself accountable without having a scale and the ability to accurately calorie count.

Today I had a buffet breakfast and a Chinese buffet lunch with 2 cookies and several handfuls of chips for dinner plus 3 alcoholic drinks (I basically never drink anymore as I don't see the point in wasting calories)

I was feeling really ashamed and disappointed in myself wishing I could just CONTROL myself. Well I guess I got what wanted as I've been SO poorly tonight. I've pooped like 5 times my tummy is in agony. I don't know if it's simply binging for 4 days or if it's specifically the booze or Chinese or mild food poisoning. But not knowing is good. Because I can't feel this way again. The people I am with know I'm poorly. I'm gonna be super strict with myself for the rest of the holiday as nothing is worth this agony. All I want is soup and water. Wish me luck, as right now I have to dash to the toilet again :/

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[Tip] Just want to share something that's been helping me with night binges - Oranges!
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1" | CW: 154 | -13 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 21:44:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p2oqe/just_want_to_share_something_thats_been_helping/
---
So my main issue is that I binge at night. I think it came from doing IF for 2 years and allowing myself (in a healthy way, whatever that means) to binge eat every day since I was only eating in a 4 hour window. I am also on drugs for sleep that make me extremely hungry after I take them so late night binges are a real issue for me. It's an awful feeling to feel good from fasting all day just to ruin it at midnight.

Anyway, Oranges. I also have anxiety which this helps. I get a big orange, and obsessively peel it. Get all the peel off first, then start picking at all the little "veins" all over the outside. Once there's nothing left to pick off I break it up into each individual segment and then peel all the veins off those. Then I get to eat it all and it's somewhat filling but I also just spent a long time peeling veins off fruit instead of eating a binge food. And I usually feel a lot less obsessed with binging afterward because I think it's a lot of anxiety for me and peeling oranges is a simple task that alleviates anxiety (peeling garlic is also very calming.)


Anyway, I hope this helps someone else! This is the second night in a row I ate about 70 cal worth of orange instead of a binge.

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[Rant/Rave] I dont want to recover. I dont want to be healthy. Stop it.
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 21:07:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p2jge/i_dont_want_to_recover_i_dont_want_to_be_healthy/
---
Stop posting all this pro-recovery shit. Stop telling me how to feel about being thin. Stop telling me im too thin. Stop telling me shit about how bad this is us for me and stop worrying about me and you! Yeah, you. stop being hypocritical youre here for the same goddamn reason i am. I dont care. I dont care. I just want to be thinner.

---

[Rant/Rave] It's extremely hard to be productive when you want to unzip your own skin and step out of it.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 21:01:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p2ijo/its_extremely_hard_to_be_productive_when_you_want/
---
I'm crawling in my skin right now. How are you supposed to focus on tasks when all you FEEL is your body pulsating all around you? I binged Saturday night and Sunday night. Now it is Monday night and I restricted well today. However, I sucked at my job. I was exhausted and felt like I was wading through cement. I sucked at my new job too, I wasn't completely present. Then I drove to kickboxing and just sat in my car in the parking lot so fucking anxious. I didn't want to interact with anyone. I was simultaneously exhausted from post-carb binge crashing (from night before) and disgusted with my body (made the unfortunate decision to weigh myself this morning and the water weight damage fucked with my head). I drove away disgusted. I drove straight to the gym but couldn't bring myself to go in there either because "you're already fat, it isn't worth" my head is screaming at me. So I drove away from the gym. The whole drive home I was conflicted between binging because "I'm already fat and failed" and restricting because "if you aren't gonna go to the gym, you can at least do damage control by restricting". I'm hungry because I restricted today and ESPECIALLY hungry because of post-carb hunger. binge, restrict, binge restrict. Normal eating wasn't even at option in my head because I can't be trusted with food. One bite turns into a fucking binge because I'm a fucking weak disordered animal. YOU TELL ME WORLD, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON TRIVIAL TASKS LIKE....READING A BOOK FOR LEISURE, BEING FRIENDLY AND PRESENT WITH FAMILY MEMBERS, HANGING OUT AND CATCHING A DRINK WITH FRIENDS, BEING AN ENJOYABLE AND POSITIVE AND CUTE GIRLFRIEND, ENJOYING SOME LIGHT EXERCISE AT THE GYM, ENJOYING A SHOW ON NETFLIX, GETTING AHEAD WITH WORK..WHEN MY BRAIN IS TRAPPED IN A CEASELESS BATTLEFIELD OF CONTRADICTING FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS WHILE AT THE SAME TIME PHYSICALLY FEELING HORRIBLE. The thought of ceasing to exist soothes me (I won't kill myself, this isn't a cry for help, I'm just using strong language to get my heavy heavy feelings across via words).

I feel so cornered. And so so so alone. What am I to do? Call up my friends, my boyfriend and say "LOL overate this weekend and feel like shit lolol too tired to go to gym lololol I'll just eat light today" WORDS CANNOT GIVE THE FEELINGS OF AN EATING DISORDER JUSTICE.

Thank you for listening.

EDIT: I just dug a cherry pie container out of the trash and binged it (I don't even FUCKING LIKE CHERRY PIE) and then tried to purge it but nothing came up. Just gagged and gagged and gagged and cried and cried. How do I cope with the trauma of this ON TOP OF what I just posted. Tomorrow has to be a new day. it has to be...PLEASE can someone tell me it can be a new day and a new start. Please. Please. Please. Fuck, please.

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[Other] Starting over and letting go
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Mon Jun 20 18:33:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p1wwq/starting_over_and_letting_go/
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It's a new day. Yesterday was bad; which I posted about already. I did gain. Not as much as I thought I would have, but it was still very disappointing to see. I'm starting over though. Just keep going and eventually I'll get to my goal weight. I won't update my stats until I've lost more. Exercised a bit today with walking on the treadmill. I'll practice with my pole tonight. I got gummy vitamins and gummy fiber. Next week will be better.

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant/Rave] Dress Shopping
/u/OtterKat [5'5" | 115lbs | 19 | -5lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 18:08:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p1t3g/rantrave_dress_shopping/
---
I'm going to a wedding on Saturday and Im dress shopping right now. I've been putting it off, because I gained 10lbs (my flair is not updated). So I'm grabbung all these cute dresses, but all of them are S ir XS, which I know I wont fit. Finally I grab a medium, go to the dressing room and its too small. Which means I'm a freaking large. So now Im kicking myself as I peel off the dress thats hugging me in all the wrong places and fighting tears as I pass up all the smalls, mediums and pull a large.

I do feel a little better when my MIL, who is a freaking doll of a person struggles to put on a small though. The sizes of the store are *tiny* and I can hardly see a person of a healthy BMI fitting into majority of their clothes. But I guess I have something to look forward to when I hit my UGW?

But yeah, feeling really shitty about my body now. Ive lost any muscle tone I had and its just fat everywhere now.

---

[Discussion] Anyone else obsessed with their jawline?
/u/xshinystickerx [Height 5'0" | CW 107 | BMI 20 | Weight Lost 15lbs | UGW 95]
Created: Mon Jun 20 17:39:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p1opr/anyone_else_obsessed_with_their_jawline/
---
My jawline is the first thing to shrink when I lose weight. I touch my jaw anytime I feel like I'm gaining or losing weight. I swear I can feel the difference in my face if I eat something sweet or if I have too many calories that day.

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[Rant/Rave] I was doing so well :(
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 16:52:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p1hdi/i_was_doing_so_well/
---
I cant seem to get back on track this week. I started working out more because the weight loss made my butt saggy. Now i cant stop binging. Its crazy. Fuck fuck fuck. What is happening? The bronkaid and adderall arent doing shit. Im constantly hungry. Maybe im pmsing. Who knows. Fuck. I was doing so fucking well. I purged last night. I just ate 400 calories of enchiladas and i had 2 bagels with cream cheese today and english toffee and string cheese. This is insanity. Wtf is wrong with me..?

---

[Discussion] Eating disorder survey (link inside)
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 16:29:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p1dgi/eating_disorder_survey_link_inside/
---
Hey lovelies!
I made an eating disorder survey to know more about the stadistics of this subreddit (something im curious about) and would really appreciate if you guys fill it up. I will make sure to post the results in approximately a week. Thank you in advance!



Survey: https://es.surveymonkey.com/r/LZW3N6V

---

[Rant/Rave] Stretch marks.
/u/Stevie_M [5'4| 115.0 | 20.13| -45 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 16:25:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p1cr3/stretch_marks/
---
Some asshole made fun of my stretch marks and I feel like shit. So no matter how much weight I lose it won't matter because my body is already ruined. I'll never be perfect. I'm disgusting.

---

[Rant/Rave] "hey, what do you weigh now?"
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Mon Jun 20 15:55:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p17u5/hey_what_do_you_weigh_now/
---
Mind :\^) your :\^) own :\^) goddamn :\^) business :\^)

---

[Discussion] My doctor is putting me on Zoloft.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jun 20 15:53:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p17kk/my_doctor_is_putting_me_on_zoloft/
---
I'm afraid it may make me less OCD and anxiety ridden over food. Could be good, mood wise. Gaining weight because I'm in a healthier mindset? Uh, no. Not interested.

Anyone on antidepressants/anti anxiety medication?

---

[Goal] Reached my UGW but still don't feel thin.
/u/justwanttolikemyself [5'1" | 85lbs | -61lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 15:29:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p13uc/reached_my_ugw_but_still_dont_feel_thin/
---
http://i.imgur.com/GmYZ29U.png

---

Reached my UGW but still don't feel thin.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 20 15:27:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p13n9/reached_my_ugw_but_still_dont_feel_thin/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] I failed.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 20 14:25:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p0so3/i_failed/
---
I failed at recovery. I failed at getting better. I still calorie restrict like crazy and purge. There is no way I can get better. As much as I want to tell people that I am getting better, I am not. I am not okay. I will not be okay. There is no way for me to get out of this hole that I am in. Just because I am a failure at recovery does not mean I am a failure at being bad. I give up on resisting my every urge to just starve or purge. If I can't get better, I will get worse. There's no point in trying to stop what's already done. I. Give. Up.


I relapsed completely. I am back.

---

[Discussion] Strange Trigger:
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Mon Jun 20 14:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p0oi8/strange_trigger/
---
Let's be honest, when I actually give in to the part of me that wants to restrict, anything I listen to gets slanted with the ED. With that in mind, I find Hamilton to be incredibly motivating.


First of all, in Satisfied, Angelica describes Hamilton as "intelligent eyes and a hunger-panged frame". Unfffff if that isn't exactly what I want to be described as. And when Alexander says all he has is a high tolerance for pain and his brilliant brain. That is exactly who I am.


I have been on the progressive protest train, planning on standing up at the DNC in Philly. Non-Stop, where they describe Alexander as not satisfied, where he writes 59 essays like he is running out of time, makes me want to hole up in my office and jump into a political abyss, head first. No food, no love, just the nasty, hurtful struggle and the knowledge that I can.


I don't know what I'm even saying. I'm losing weight and I love Hamilton, I guess.

---

Website that give you an estimated weight-loss including cheat meals?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 20 13:28:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p0iey/website_that_give_you_an_estimated_weightloss/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] What can I realistically achieve in 90 days?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 13:15:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p0fye/what_can_i_realistically_achieve_in_90_days/
---
Sooo my boyfriend and I are now apparently going on vacation in September. And if I have to go looking like I do now, no one will know the difference between me and the whales on our boat tour. I'm going to be doing some serious restricting between now and then, but I still feel like it won't be enough....I'm 5'5 and 163lbs right now. I had restricted my way down down to 140 and now... Absolutely disgusting. I was doing SO WELL and I totally fell off the wagon :(

So I need some encouragement! What kind of success have you lovelies had in a 90 day period? Is there any hope for my poor fat soul? :(

---

[Discussion] Do people find slim boys attractive? More so than normal or "a bit over" guys?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 20 12:54:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p0c3s/do_people_find_slim_boys_attractive_more_so_than/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Craving pasta
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 12:35:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4p08k2/craving_pasta/
---
After falling a pound beneath my first goal weight on Thursday, I spent the weekend camping and drinking. Checking my weight today I was a few pounds over my GW, which I'm used to my weight fluctuating a lot but that's besides the point.


I think I'm going through some sort of reward phase since I hit my GW, I feel like I can eat a little lax now which is not a good way to think. From what I've noticed around here, it's a great way to balloon up and fast.


I need help, tell me why pasta is gross and stuff.

---

[Rant/Rave] Back from my trip and 4lbs heavier..
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jun 20 11:20:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ozuma/back_from_my_trip_and_4lbs_heavier/
---
I went to Indiana for 4 days to meet the rest of mt SO's family. So many meals. So fucking much icecream youhavenoidea.

Sooo, after 7 laxative and only veggie broth and some broccoli today, I'm weighing in at 114.0lbs

Before I left for the four day trip I was 110.8lbs uuuugh

So, I'll probably be even heavier tomorrow when I'm not freshly empty.

.... fantastic.

---

[Other] god bless the female competitiveness in my family...
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 10:09:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ozhic/god_bless_the_female_competitiveness_in_my_family/
---
..its such a fertile ground for ED motivation.

So my mom visited this weekend for babyman's first birthday, and while she was here we were discussing my aunt's 50th b-day bash/family reunion party. Apparently its a white party (ugh, tacky) so we were online shopping for a white dress for me. She pointed out a few bodycon options, but I remarked that they're bit too sexy for the occasion, plus they might stir up a bunch of drama and shit talking from the other cousins.

me: ~looking at a dress my mom pointed out~ could you imagine what cousin C would say if I showed up to the party in that outfit?

mom: ah, you have a point, but you certainly have the body for it!

me: lol true, but I'm not in the mood for any drama

mom: alright, lets look at something else. By the way, I think cousin C is jealous of you.

me: oh?

mom: well, you have your life together, and cousin C is fat, broke, has two terrible kids, and can't keep a man. Shes always making snide comments about you, and calls you 'princess tinymum'.

me: hmph, can't say I'm surprised. The last time I saw her she asked me if I've 'lost enough weight yet' in a real snotty tone.

mom: I don't care for it, but you need to be nice to her.

me: ok? I'm always nice to her.

I actually like cousin C, we grew up together and she's like a big sister to me. I have no malice towards her, but knowing that she's envious of me stirs up some nasty ED shit.

I've been frank in admitted that my ED is partly fueled by inspiring envy in others. So knowing that my overweight cousin feels bad cause I'm thin and have my shit together is so damn potent, its awful.

Like I truly feel like a terrible person, but I'm also thrilled, energized, and motivated to get my *shit tight* before June 30th (when I leave for the b-day/reunion party).

Ugh, I'm disgusted with myself. As a mature, empathetic adult I realize this behavior is disgusting. However as an ED person that's part of a dysfunctional family I couldn't be more pleased.

btw; I love my mom, she likes to play innocent and virtuous, but she's such a blatant shit stirrer. ;D

So with babyman's party out of the way, no more social engagements until the end of the month, and fresh groceries with no snacks in the house, IMMA DO THHISSSS. restriction every day. exercise everyday. no weekend binges. 110% effort. I'm gonna show up to that party, #flawless.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 20 10:03:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ozg9o/daily_food_diary_june_20_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Other] I told my boyfriend.
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 08:20:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oyy87/i_told_my_boyfriend/
---
We started the day with a fight, which we never do, but it was a bad morning. It got better. We went to a family members house, swam in the gorgeous pool.

I ate a boca burger on lettuce, a small spoonful of pasta salad, drank 5 beers. And thats all I had the entire day. Being drunk helped me not care if I was going to gain weight. I was having fun.

They have a 15 year old daughter going through a lot of 15 year old stress and emotions and her dad believes that 'the pussification of america' is real and wont let her see professional help, which she could benefit from. So after trying to gently coax him to the idea and getting nowhere, I go outside and she and i float in the pool a while.

we talked about eating disorders, and shes showing signs of being at risk, she feels fat and shes not, etc. I ended up spilling my guts about how long it's been and how stupid it is and how it only gets worse, and essentially being a top level hypocrite.

I must have opened the flood gates because when we got home later, I just unloaded everything. It started as a statement that I hate eating, and then was an hour long mess of confessing and explaining and describing and more crying while he just hugged me and listened.

He said he doesn't know to help me. Hes worried. he wants me to see his Dr and start some kind of anxiety med which im worried will make me gain weight and telling him im still healthy, I eat healthy, its just the way I feel when I eat thats messed up, and how no insurance would cover me until Im sickly small and sometimes I feel like I dont even have a problem.

He said "well thats good...unless you mean it as a way to deny its a problem."

well bingo.

So I woke up feeling awful, looking awful.

Im so scared he will stop telling me how sexy I am, thinking he is encouraging me. Im upset that I said anything, as now he will be watching what I eat. I feel like now, instead of seeing his thin, healthy girlfriend he will start to see all the parts of me that are smaller, and only see that.

I told him Im supposed to be the perfect girlfriend, not a mess. And that I was sorry, because I thought I was ok, and he's got enough going on, to have to deal with this too.

I could kick myself. WTF.

---

[Help] What are your steps to avoid a binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 20 07:11:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oynbz/what_are_your_steps_to_avoid_a_binge/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] For those of you with a BMI under 20, do you see yourself as fat?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 07:04:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oym9j/for_those_of_you_with_a_bmi_under_20_do_you_see/
---
If so, why? How is your body perception in general?

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! June 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 20 06:03:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oyehy/weekly_stats_update_june_20_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for June 20, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Intro] i can't stop obsessing about food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 20 04:41:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oy4n8/i_cant_stop_obsessing_about_food/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Yays and nays (kinda TMI)
/u/Myuuji [169 | 51.6 | 18.07 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 04:39:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oy4gz/yays_and_nays_kinda_tmi/
---
After 3 days in another city with friends I gained a lot, we ate McDonald's and hot chocolate with marshmallows and I didn't even feel bad because of good company. It took me a few days to get back to the point I started in my weight, and today I was even lower. Just one more kilo and I would officially be underweight. But hey, apparently that's too good to happen to me, so I had to go to the doctor with my mom, because of pain in my side and issues peeing. So yay, I have E.coli. I can't restrict for a week because of my penicillin, so I can't wait to be cured and get back on my mission. So yay, and not yay.

---

[Rant/Rave] Upcoming 2 week fast, zevias, coffee and sparkling water only [rant/rave]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 20 01:53:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oxn0y/upcoming_2_week_fast_zevias_coffee_and_sparkling/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] What do you think are the cutest types of outfits for skinny/slim people? (Pictures appreciated!)
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Mon Jun 20 01:46:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oxm9v/what_do_you_think_are_the_cutest_types_of_outfits/
---
I have a goal to look fantastic in September for an event. Obviously this involves weight loss.. but I recently realised I need (an) outfit/s too!

I'd like to get my outfit/s in advance to hang in my room as a reminder of what I'm shooting for :3 But I'm actually drawing a blank at what I should wear to look ultra cute! *It is so important I look realllyy cute...*.

So, I thought you guys might have ideas!

It's a 4 day event with different things going on like markets, quizzes, and parties too - so I'll need a few outfits really. Comfy for walking around, semi-smart, cute, sexy, sorta formal.. so I'm looking for ANY inspiration at all, so anything you guys think looks awesome of any style that you want to share. My own style is a mix. I currently like to mash up 'cute/girly' and 'alternative' for casual/comfy and usually only really wear casual/comfy besides my workout clothes, but honestly anything goes.. I want to see what YOU like!

Hopefully I'll be at least nearly skinny by September, and I'll be honest.. if I am, I'll want to show it off after all that work lol. So something flattering, eyecatching or that can only be 'pulled off by skinny people' preferred :P I want to 'wow' the people I'm going with and anyone I see there.. Or try.

Thanks :3

---

[Rant/Rave] I am taller than I thought!
/u/fattymcfatface1 [1.8m/5'11" | 74.1/164lb | 22.9 | 12.9kg/28.7lb | 30f]
Created: Mon Jun 20 01:15:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oxj0p/i_am_taller_than_i_thought/
---
I just got professionally measured at a health day at work. I am 1.8m instead of 1.78... So now I need to recalculate my BMI! yay!
Just needed to share with someone. 💗

---

[Tip] EC Stacks and buying Ephedrine: don't be scurred
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Mon Jun 20 00:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oxaol/ec_stacks_and_buying_ephedrine_dont_be_scurred/
---
So I felt so sketch the first time I bought Bronkaid. I was like surely this old lady knows what I'm about, she will scold me or call the cops, I will run my fat ass down aisle 12 and out the employee exit and skip town, dye my hair and change my name to something like Karen.

But no. I walk up with shaky hands and she be all like "how can I help you?" And I mumble something along the lines of "do you have any bronkaid please?" And she grabs the blue and white box, scanned my ID, told me to sign some shit saying I am not making illicit drugs or whatever (who reads those anyways), and passes it to me after I swipe my card.

I walked out with shoulders hunched and head down. I was positive someone was going to run out of the store and stop me - "GOTCHA FAT BITCH!" Nope, never happened. I hopped in the truck and mosied my way home without incident.

Basically this - if you have been wanting to try an EC stack and the fear of buying the stuff has held you back don't let it. I did for months and now that I am back at it I am so glad I bit the socially awkward bullet and got it over with.

Also I sometimes get Zyrtec D instead if my allergies are ick. For me it has the same effect (many decongestants do this for me). So if Bronkaid feels too scary just go for allergy meds with a decongestant so you can pull the "oh I just got a new cat" or "i am allergic to the new neighbors stinky food" card.

TLDR: Do not let fear keep you from buying Bronkaid (or doing anything else ever).

Edit: i changed tenses in my blah anecdote a bajillion times but I am too lazy to fix it. Pretend all is perfect.

---

[Discussion] Adderall Experience/Advice?
/u/AlternateVision
Created: Sun Jun 19 22:46:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ox1ai/adderall_experienceadvice/
---
I haven't been diagnosed yet, but realized semi-recently that other people don't struggle with being too distracted to focus all of the time. My dad, and his brother have been diagnosed with ADHD (it's also a very genetic condition), so I'm surprised it has taken me this long to realize my experience of the world is different from others.

I'm assuming there is a possibility that after being diagnosed by a doctor (hopefully sooner rather than later, I don't currently have healthcare), I will be put on Adderall.

On one hand, I'm a little nervous. I've taken the drug recreationally before, and it was a very intense experience, and I've heard horror stories of people who wind up addicted.

But I feel so non-functional most of the time, like I'm not living up to my full potential, that I actually feel a lot of hope about it. And I'm also fully aware of its appetite-suppressing effects, which I am thrilled about (a little nervous I'll abuse it for ED related reasons rather than eagerness focus).

I don't plan on using Adderall impulsively. I don't even know what the risk is, if I take it as my doctor recommends, are the side effects still worse than my life now? I don't know.

Thanks for listening, /proED.

---

[Rant/Rave] I ate with my family for Father's Day and didn't binge. Yay!
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 19 22:02:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4owve5/i_ate_with_my_family_for_fathers_day_and_didnt/
---
We went out to eat. There was unlimited bread and salad. I only ate one piece of bread and one bowl of salad. I looked up the calorie content of the restaurant's food ahead of time and planned what I was going to get. I stuck to that plan. I did have ~150 extea calories of other people's food and mints (those damn delicious mints...), but I stuck to my caloric goal today in the end! I feel awesome.

---

[Rant/Rave] Angry rant
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Sun Jun 19 21:27:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4owqgz/angry_rant/
---
I fucked up I ate so fucking much at my parents. I must have purged 3 times while I was there each time saying I wouldn't eat again. Ugh. Just got home and purged some more about to step on the scale. I just know I'm a fat fuck. Probably 110 or 111. I hate myself so much. I'm going to take coke and pole dance all night to hopefully get rid of some of this FAT I slathered on myself

---

[Help] I want to try fasting. Help?
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Sun Jun 19 21:27:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4owqey/i_want_to_try_fasting_help/
---
So I ate way too much this weekend. Saturday was about 1000 cals and today was at least 1200 of just pure junk. Bacon, pizza, beer, cake. I hate my lack of self control.

I feel absolutely disgusting so I want to try fasting. But I've never actually done it and I know next to nothing about it. My only concern is that it's summer and I tend to faint due to the heat if I haven't eaten anything. It wouldn't be an issue except for the fact that I'm a nanny to two really active boys that like to do things like go to the park and ride bikes and such. I definitely don't want anything happening to me while I'm with them. No reason for them to be affected by my fucked up self.

So, is there any way to get around the fainting thing? What's the best or most effective way to fast?

edit: a word

---

[Other] The Face Of My Bulimia
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 19 20:37:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4owij0/the_face_of_my_bulimia/
---
I apologise for how long this is going to be. I have been taking photos after my purges to remind myself that binging and purging is not worth it to me, and restricting is my one true way to love life. However today, after a really epically terrible binge, I felt like I wanted to post this. This is obviously a "grass is greener" post. I've been obese from binge eating, I've been 5 lbs away from my goal weight from restricting alone, and now I've shot up twenty lbs back into the "average" range from transitioning from atypical anorexia (because I wasn't underweight) to bulimia. At least, that's how my doctor has chronicled my journey. I guess I just needed to get this out there. If you can't purge... believe me, you're better off sticking to restricting.

----------------------------------------------------------
[This is the face of my bulimia.](http://imgur.com/a/weVk7)

I used to never be able to purge. I had no gag reflex (great for oral sex, not great for binges) and so usually I'd have to just restrict or fast heavier than usual for a few days to get myself back on track. I lost over 60lbs in my journey doing this. But I thought, if I could just purge I would feel better immediately. I *like* restricting, it's not like I'll abuse it. It'll just be for those few occasions I fall off the wagon a little too hard -- when I'm bloated and it's painful from a binge that shouldn't have been and my body couldn't handle.

Then one day, miraculously, I don't know what changed -- it worked. I think I was still trying with my tooth brush back then, although now I just use my fingers. After eating is the only time I can make myself throw up now; I still have no gag reflex at any other time. I don't feel better.

I prefer restricting, I feel amazing when I'm empty and on a great streak. The feelings that come with the tummy rumbles, the light headedness, the feeling of power and optimism - that's my fucking shit. I would binge occasionally, maybe once every two weeks, and then I'd get back on track. Not anymore.

Something inside you knows what you can do. Something inside you screams at you to just eat it, just do it -- you can just throw it up. It doesn't say what will happen if you don't drink enough water while you're binging, and can't get everything back up. If for some reason your body just refuses to play along that day. That you'll have snot running down your nose and mascara all over your eyes and regurgitated pizza sauce littering the corners of your mouth.

And you won't feel better.

Sure, you'll feel a bit less full. You won't feel like you're bursting at the seams anymore, but you'll be stressing about if you got it all. You'll be left in the dark about how many calories are actually left sitting inside of you, and all you have left to show for it is a distended abdomen, puffy cheeks, and the taste of bile in the back of your throat.

This is the face of my bulimia. She is not beautiful, and I do not like her.

---

[Discussion] Hyperactivity when eating very little.
/u/poppytad
Created: Sun Jun 19 20:17:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4owfs7/hyperactivity_when_eating_very_little/
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I'm curious as to whether what I've experienced is a common thing. I find the first few days of very restricted eating exhausting, but after a week or so I wake up very early and am very lively and bouncy at work. after a while of living like this I hit a wall and the exhaustion comes back. Is this common/normal? is there a way to prolong the hyperactive stage?

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[Rant/Rave] I worked up the courage to tell my bf how bad(good?) my restricting has gotten in the past few weeks and his reaction makes me confident I can continue without him noticing
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 19 19:40:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4owao0/i_worked_up_the_courage_to_tell_my_bf_how_badgood/
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*Obligatory sorry for the long rant note, but it does feel great to have a space to be able to let this out so thanks lovelies*

Last night we went out to the movies and then he said he was hungry and wanted to stop by the store to grab something. I hadn't eaten that day (18 calories total at this point for coffee and gum) and I was getting really anxious being in the store in general. I ended up with a frozen personal pesto pizza that totaled 440 calories and a jar of pickles for another time. We got home, he immediately served himself the cereal he had gotten and started playing games on his computer. I got changed and sat on the couch not really doing much. Eventually he turned to me and asked what was wrong and I told him I needed him to do something for me. He got concerned and asked what and I told him I needed him to make the pizza because as much as I didn't want to eat it I knew I should (and it helped me lose a full pound from yesterday morning to today!). I also told him that I had been under 600 calories the day before. He was great and sat with me the rest of the night while I ate the pizza chewing as much as I could while also drinking a glass of water, he even ate most of the last piece for me because I said I didn't want it. Then today we go to do some cleaning and he's telling me everything I did wrong about how I had left the dishes to be cleaned and they should be left in different places and the way I do dishes must be wrong because it's different than him. I apologized and started cleaning the living room to get out of that room. It was then I decided I was going to tell him how much I was restricting the whole week instead of just the last two days and what that had to do with the state of the kitchen in hopes that he wouldn't be upset with me about it anymore. But I couldn't gather up the courage to do it then so we went out with my parents for Father's Day and I sat him down once we got home. Basically, the week before last I had stocked up on frozen stuff and told him I needed a break from the kitchen as I'm the primary (only) cook, then this week I did what I needed to do when it came to dinners but didn't want to go back into the kitchen afterwards so things that needed to get done didn't. He thanked me for telling him and asked if there was anything he could do, I told him I didn't think so, but then he immediately got up and started doing other things. Usually this shouldn't be an issue but he has a habit of doing this and it's been bugging me and I felt like this time was the right kind of situation where I could tell him that I would really appreciate an extra 5 minutes of sitting together because otherwise it feels like he's just saying "ok, what's next" and disregarding how difficult this actually is. I also said that when he gets up immediately it makes it more difficult if there's anything I think of that I hadn't had the chance to say it because then I feel like I'm interrupting him. I told him that I had to work myself up all day just to be able to tell him that and that it's really hard to do. He basically said he didn't understand why I'd need or want to just sit there for an extra 5 minutes when he has stuff he needed to get back to and that he didn't want to just make a big deal of things. The thing is, this conversation was a REALLY BIG DEAL, I have never had that conversation with anyone. Hell I'd even lie to my therapist while in recovery, no ones has ever known how low calorie-wise I go, but this conversation meant so little to him that he could just get up and go right to his computer and start talking to his friends. I'm convinced that he had no idea that any of this was going on for almost the last month, that he doesn't pay attention, and that he won't notice when I continue to do this because it's actually working. I've lost 8 pounds in 19 days! I know that isn't great, and I definitely still have more to lose, but it's better than gaining weight which is what I was doing before. He'll never know that my vulnerability and honesty with him is what's making it that much easier to keep going. I don't feel supported at all, and I'm going to take advantage of it.

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[Discussion] "Recovering anorexics need more calories to gain weight, because their body burns through more trying to repair the damage starving has done" - Wait, what? Really?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sun Jun 19 17:49:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ovvdl/recovering_anorexics_need_more_calories_to_gain/
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I was discussing eating disorders with someone today. They said the above.

Is that true? Anyone know more about this? I did a google search but to be honest, would trust yous guys thoughts on this more..

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[Tip] Bought ice pop molds on a whim last night and I froze water as popsicles. 0 calories, and it's cold so it burns more calories!
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: 2fat4me | GW: 121 | UGW: 108 | F22]
Created: Sun Jun 19 16:47:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ovmh4/bought_ice_pop_molds_on_a_whim_last_night_and_i/
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http://imgur.com/DSqfh8Q

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[Rant/Rave] Got forced to eat
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 69 lb | 14.19 | -53 lb | FTM]
Created: Sun Jun 19 16:07:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ovglq/got_forced_to_eat/
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(Obligatory apology for no flair, on mobile.)

So, I got forced to eat.

I mean, I refused to eat again and again and again, with my mom making other mothers come up to me and try to guilt me to eat until finally one of them opened the package, shoved it into my hands, and told my friends to make sure I ate it. Nearly started breaking down and passed it off as laughter.

I wanted to throw it out, but my mother (and all the other mothers) were sitting a fucking yard away from me and would have seen, and I didn't want to go through yet another shitstorm if my mom saw me throw out food. So I had to eat a choco pie, which I couldn't even enjoy because *I wasn't hungry and didn't want to eat.*

"Oh, the other mothers are getting worried!!!1!1!!" They wouldn't be getting so worried if you weren't making them force me to eat and constantly talking about how I don't eat, holy fuck. "They're worried you might faint" my ass - they don't know what I eat when I'm not in front of them, and all of you just watched me bang on drums for an hour and a half without a problem. From their point of view, I am perfectly fine.

Just - food aside, can I have some damn privacy and bodily autonomy? I can't remember a time when my life seemed to actually belong to my damn self.

Sorry, got off topic. I'm just pissed.

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[Discussion] can't sing anymore after i stopped purging-- anyone else?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 19 13:46:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ouua1/cant_sing_anymore_after_i_stopped_purging_anyone/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] How do you track/record your weight?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 19 12:21:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ougg2/how_do_you_trackrecord_your_weight/
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I'll explain what I mean more. Once a week I use an enema, and I usually record my weigh on those days. But, if I weigh lower some other time during the week, I record that. And basically now I only record when my lowest weight gets lower.

How do you all do it? Which weight do you think of as your actual weight? Do you average your weight throughout the week? Take the highest? The lowest, like I do? I'm just curious what other people do, and I'm wondering what the most accurate method is.

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[Discussion] Anyone else's ED fueled by gender dysphoria?
/u/slytherlin [5'5" | CW: 130 | GW:110 | NB]
Created: Sun Jun 19 12:01:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oudax/anyone_elses_ed_fueled_by_gender_dysphoria/
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I'm pretty certain the main reason I've developed an ED is my desire to be more androgynous. Underweight afab people always have smaller breasts, barely-there hips... It doesn't help that as I've been losing weight I've been passing SO much better! I'm a somewhat high "normal" bmi right now, but my ideal is to be on the upper end of an underweight bmi.

I can't afford top surgery any time fuckin soon (fuck transphobic insurance policies classifying srs as "aesthetic" surgery) but I can sure as hell afford to eat less food, lmao. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[Discussion] Any Ana/Ed Vloggers on YT? Or Ana "What I Eat in a Day" Videos on YT?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 19 10:38:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ou0mu/any_anaed_vloggers_on_yt_or_ana_what_i_eat_in_a/
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Was thinking about watching a few for meal ideas but from the thumbnails I was getting "way over my cal restrictions" vibes from them. :/ Made me wonder if there were any videos that were of less than 500 cal (in total ideally)? I know mainstream sorts discourage ed but I'm hopeful...

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[Help] Sick and family force fed me
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 19 10:05:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4otvpd/sick_and_family_force_fed_me/
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I was really sick last night (dizzy, near fainting-spell, fever, vomited like 4 or 5 times and had crazy diarrhea) so my family was taking care of me and my aunt made a milkshakes with milk and ice cream and possibly protein powder in them (idk). she forced me to sip on them before going to bed.

I kept telling her I seriously sick and my stomach wasn't up for it (which was 100% true, the smell was just sweet and it made me feel like puking) but she still forced me to sip on it. i'm mad about it. i don't know how much i had or what was in it. i'm still too ill to work out. how do i feel better about this?

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jun 19 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4otv9i/daily_food_diary_june_19_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Discussion] Drinking.
/u/Light__Bright [5'2 | 140 | Gained 40 lbs in 2 years. I know.| F]
Created: Sun Jun 19 09:58:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4otum7/drinking/
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I posted an intro here recently but deleted it from feeling embarrassed. I was teeny-tiny (LW was 92!) and then the year I graduated college I packed on weight after doing a recovery program and starting to go out with friends instead of isolating myself. I think the biggest factor though is the alcohol. I started making more friends post-recovery and I would go to parties or out to eat/for drinks with them.

I lost 10 lbs but gained it back plus a couple more. My diet is very healthy; I'm "pesco-vegan" (vegan except for seafood occasionally.) I also go for long walks or jogs almost every day. But I drink a lot of wine in the evenings, which is basically pure sugar.
Has anyone else had to cut out alcohol? Or maybe just cut down drastically? I really want to lose 30 lbs as quickly as possible and I really don't think my diet is what's holding me back.

Edit: Wanted to add that I don't think my diet is holding me back NOW, I just recently started the vegan thing. When the weight gain started 2 years ago I was a vegetarian who ate way too much dairy and sugar! So yes, my diet was to blame for the initial weight gain as well as the alcohol.

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[Help] Does anyone else feel like they have a huge ribcage?
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 113 |19.4 | -32 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 19 08:16:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4otgu5/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_have_a_huge/
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Hahaha the title says it all I guess! After losing so much weight I can already see every rib, and they stick out often. I'm a little frustrated because no matter how much weight I lose I don't think it'll help shrink how wide they are. I thought this might just me having to get used to having a flat stomach, but the more I compare myself to others, the more I think my ribcage is unnaturally big. (think Bettie Page - wide)
Anyone know how to help this? Should I just keep lowering my goal weight. I want to be tiny :(

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[Help] Eating after fasting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 19 08:08:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4otfru/eating_after_fasting/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] My bf is sabotaging me
/u/princessxpixie [5"4.5 | 104lbs | 17.5 | -29lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Jun 19 07:44:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4otcqg/my_bf_is_sabotaging_me/
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OK SO HE HAS BOUGHT 4 HUGE ASS BARS OF CHOCOLATE IN MY FAVOURITE FLAVOUR.

He has left them on my bedroom side for four days now and i keep asking him to eat or move them and hes like no im waiting till im hungry or for you to have them.

He wants me to stop dieting and just an hour ago admitted the soul reason he has bought them is to wait for me to eat them and i ate One line of one of the bars today 175cal !!!!

He said if i throw them away he'll be really mad but i know hes not going to eat them and this really isnt fair.

I love chocolate so much and its so hard to resist even when its a 5 min walk to the shop nevermind right next to my face.

What should i do shall i just throw them out and tell him to stop crying if he gets mad ?

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[Rant/Rave] I'm sorry world
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Jun 19 02:49:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oskhs/im_sorry_world/
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I had to do it. I destroyed my card and I threw all the food away. The jar of peanutbutter my parents left for me, the crisps, the bread.

I'd eat it if I took the time to bring it to the homeless. I feel terrible. But I feel free.

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[Discussion] Cravings and low cal soutions: sweet vs savory
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 22:17:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4orvkx/cravings_and_low_cal_soutions_sweet_vs_savory/
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So I swing back and forth between craving sweet things and craving something savory and/or salty and everything in between. Anyone else have their "go-tos" for each category?

Here are mine. I tried to include the calorie counts for what I could remember but I am too lazy to look up what I can't C: if you want to know anything about any of the items listed just ask!

SWEET - chia puddings (i make matcha with coconut milk/"rocky road"/chai spice/blueberry/whatever I feel like) for ~100-200 cal depending, homemade aqua fresca (favorite is honeydew kiwi! but there are so many options), homemade fruit and coconut water popsicles (~25-50 cal a pop), any number of teas with a TINY bit of honey, 1/3 to 1/2 packet of instant oatmeal made with coconut or almond milk, frozen fruit of any kind, fresh fruit, diet hot cocoa, warm "vanilla milk" (low cal non dairy milk with a splash of vanilla extract and tiny bit of no cal sweetener - helps me sleep when I struggle sometimes)

SALTY/SAVORY - 1 Tbsp light cream cheese and 1/2 cup alfalfa sprouts with a little salt and pepper (~35 cal), cottage cheese (~120 for quite a bit. I get breakstone 4% because it is incredibly filling), a few slices of deli roast turkey with a tiny bit of cheese and a ton of jalapenos on top (heat for a bit and it is like high protein nachos substitue), salads duh, beef broth with sweated onions (i call this my "lazyass french onion soup") for ~15-25 cal, light sour cream and spicy green salsa with carrots, pickles, pickled jalapenos, pepperoncinnis

SWEET/SALTYISH WHATEVER (COOKIE DOUGH/PBJ CRAVING SUBS) - slice of watermelon with salt (may sound weird but my grandpa has always done it and i started doing it around 7 years ago and it is my all time favorite fix), slice of light bread spread with low cal vegan mayo and four thin slices of cucumber topped with fresh ground salt and pepper (~60 cal), cucumbers sprinkled with salt, apple slices with salted peanut powder

I know there are a bajillion more but I am too tired to think ha. Really I just want to know what you all do!

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Do I belong here? Tell me what you think about my figure.
/u/RedBull7 [5'7" | CW: 135 lbs | BMI: 21.45 | 5 lbs | M]
Created: Sat Jun 18 19:22:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ora57/do_i_belong_here_tell_me_what_you_think_about_my/
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http://imgur.com/a/Bxj6k

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[Discussion] Skinny Gossip forums
/u/yasyaynowl [1.77 | 55 kg ? (maybe less, idk)]
Created: Sat Jun 18 17:51:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oqy9v/skinny_gossip_forums/
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Hey! So, I found this forum while browsing the internet and I thought it was perfect. When I tried to sign up, I discovered that I can't and I think that the process to apply is strange. Do you have any info? Is it really ok and secretive? And how can I know if I am accepted or not and how much time?

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[Rant/Rave] I don't think my parents could afford to take me to treatment if I needed it.
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Jun 18 17:45:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oqxhc/i_dont_think_my_parents_could_afford_to_take_me/
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We have a world-renowned eating disorder clinic in my city that does a program of a month or so inpatient, a few months living on a "campus" being watched 24-7, and an outpatient/partial hospitalization program.

And you guys, I'm going to tell you a secret that you might hate me for. Please forgive me if this offends or confuses you.

Someday, when I am thin, I want to go there.

I'll tell them I'm not going if they say they want me to go. I'll pretend to fight them. And of course I'll be genuinely stressed out beyond what I can even comprehend right now about having to put some weight back on. But the truth is, being hospitalized for being too thin is the only way I'm ever gonna know if I'm thin enough yet. The only way I'm gonna know just how thin I can be without dying. I'll get out, and I'll probably stay just a few pounds above the absolute point of death. And then I'll be thin enough. For the rest of my life. Problem solved.

And I did my research, and this hospital costs $30,000 a MONTH. My parents are fairly well off, but my father does not make 30,000 a month. And he's trying to retire this year. They can't afford to take me. I don't know how to ask insurance how they'd cover something I don't even have yet. I certainly can't just walk up to the doctor and ask them.

How am I ever going to know when I'm thin enough? Where will I find the proof that I've done enough now and can give my mind a rest? I'm so sad right now, and maybe you won't understand. Maybe you're angry that I'd *want* to go to treatment for any reason. If so, I'm very sorry to have offended you. I just have to put this out there.

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[Help] Does wearing tight clothes help you restrict at all?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Sat Jun 18 17:28:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oqv2i/does_wearing_tight_clothes_help_you_restrict_at/
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No flair cos im on mobile, soz.
Anyway today I put an extra hole in my belt so I could buckle it as tight as possible (although it still doesn't feel tight enough so I might add another later) and I found it significantly easier to avoid eating for most of the day. Im thinking of buying some high waisted jeans so I can tie it even tighter (my current pair of jeans only lets me have my belt up to the lower part of my stomach, not where I think would be best to have it) and I'm wondering if this has worked for anyone else? Or anything similar really. Im ftm so I'm also considering buying a binder that will be tight around my whole torso, unlike my current ones which just cover down to my ribs and emphasise my nasty stomach:( so yea if anyone has any tips or experience with this I would love to hear if it's helped you at all!

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Do I belong here ? Tell me what you think.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 18 17:06:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oqrzn/do_i_belong_here_tell_me_what_you_think/
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http://imgur.com/a/Bxj6k

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[Thinspo] My current favourite Instagram thinspo (if you know any good accounts, please comment them!) :)
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: 2fat4me | GW: 121 | UGW: 108 | F22]
Created: Sat Jun 18 16:03:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oqj15/my_current_favourite_instagram_thinspo_if_you/
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http://m.imgur.com/a/fiEMy

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[Rant/Rave] What are these, shorts for ants?
/u/prehsm [5'2 | CW: 130 | 23.8 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 15:47:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oqgz5/what_are_these_shorts_for_ants/
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So I ordered some clothes online without reading reviews or anything. I like to live on the edge, apparently. Unfolded the shorts they sent and my heart **sank**. I swear they looked like children's shorts. *There is NO WAY my fat ass is going to fit in those,* I thought. *Oh well, guess I'll at least try them on.*

You guys, they fit. They fit!! No squish, no pudge overflow, not even a little bit of cut off circulation. This is the coolest thing that's happened to me in a really long time.

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[Rant/Rave] Fuck fuck fuck fuck
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Jun 18 14:31:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oq67a/fuck_fuck_fuck_fuck/
---
And a few more of those.

I just binged, while I was home alone. Had all the fasting thing I could want around me and I binged.

Fuck.

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[Discussion] I feel like my brain is doing this on purpose.
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 14:01:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oq1ty/i_feel_like_my_brain_is_doing_this_on_purpose/
---
Let me explain.

Today, I am okay with my thighs, my arms don't make me upset and even my stomach is okay to me.

But no, that's not good enough for my brain, something just HAS to upset me about my body.

And today, it is my neck.

I've literally never cared about my neck before, but suddenly my neck is too short and I'm self conscious.

Like as soon as one thing is okay, my brain just feels the need to find something else to be upset about.

Like shit.

I know no ones looking at my neck, but goddamn am I self conscious about it today.

I'm walking around with my neck stretched up like some kind of giraffe wannabe.

Screw you, brain.

How do you guys deal with this? I feel like its always something, nothing's ever going to be good enough.

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[Discussion] I'm interested in hearing about your guys' mental changes/shifts.
/u/m_inimal
Created: Sat Jun 18 13:07:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4optv8/im_interested_in_hearing_about_your_guys_mental/
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For me personally, restricting has weirdly calmed me down a lot. I know it's a strange and "unhealthy" habit, but keeping my little diary and learning to enjoy feeling lightheaded has been the one little area of my life where I can be self-indulgently neurotic, and therefore allows me chill out about other things, like relationships, money, and school. I have a sense of calm when I know this one thing (my body) that usually really worries me, is under control. And that allows me to keep up with other stresses in my life more effectively.

I find myself WANTING to do "responsible" things, like check my email and clean up my house, instead of just miserably vegging out for hours on end. And when I do decide to veg out, it's an active decision, and I don't have to feel guilty about it. In the past when I've tried to relax, there's this nagging anxiety and guilt like "I should be doing something productive right now", usually because I was choosing relaxation over things that needed to get done. But now, most of my "things that need to get done" ARE actually getting done, because I'm more motivated, because they don't seem as overwhelming, because my biggest concern (my body) is under control. So I can actually relax when it's time to relax. Like right now, it's 2 pm on a Saturday, I have nothing to do, so I'm just watching some Horace and Pete (great show highly recommend) and having a cup of coffee. It's all good.

Please tell me about what you guys are going through. I love to hear other people's perspective. If it's too weird/you're uncomfortable commenting, just PM me.

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Ever try the Skinny Girl Diet?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 11:51:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4opie9/ever_try_the_skinny_girl_diet/
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https://theproanalifestyleforever.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/20bdb-sgd.jpg?w=870

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[Other] TFW (tmi?)
/u/vhenah [5'7 | 141.8 | 22.13 | -78.2 | MOO]
Created: Sat Jun 18 11:19:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4opdh6/tfw_tmi/
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That feeling when the laxative you took last night after a binge hasn't 'kicked in' and you go out anyway:

[regret incoming](http://i.imgur.com/Al8t5TN.jpg)

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[Help] What do you do when it hurts to sit down?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 10:41:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4op7xw/what_do_you_do_when_it_hurts_to_sit_down/
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I've always had kind of a bony butt, I remember getting made fun of by my babysitter when I was younger and I was even more overweight then than I am now so it isn't just a weight thing. But as I'm getting smaller I notice that it's becoming more of a problem. I was at a comedy club last night and sitting on the chair for 2 hours straight made my butt hurt pretty bad. It's not that I'm not used to sitting, I use a ball chair at my desk at work and I go to the theater for fun because I don't drink, but those seats are always cushioned. It doesn't help that I have Plantar Fasciitis and we went to a bar afterwards where I was then standing for a few hours. But as we were sitting there watching this guy be really funny (Brent Morin - watch his Netflix special if you haven't yet because he's really good) I felt bad because I kept having to shift around to get comfortable. I've been trying to do exercises to build up my butt (Strong Curves) but that doesn't seem to be helping this issue. Any thoughts?

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jun 18 10:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4op260/daily_food_diary_june_18_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Other] [Update] I did it! I got a job!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 10:01:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4op22f/update_i_did_it_i_got_a_job/
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Hey everyone!

Quick little update post to let you lovelies know I officially got my first job at a well-known office supply store! I'm going to work at a smaller location downtown, less than a mile from my school with good access to transit. Pay is $9.75/hour, which is minimum wage in my city, but for a 17 year old that's not bad! That's all well and good, but honestly I'm most excited for weight loss! The last bus downtown in the morning is at 9:15 but my shift doesn't start until 11, so I might take an earlier bus and go to the gym on my way to work in addition to skipping lunch. Ahh, so excited!

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[Rant/Rave] A combination of vacation and binging and not tracking my calories
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 05:39:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oo6hv/a_combination_of_vacation_and_binging_and_not/
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I'm at 112.6lbs. I am freaking out. That's 4.6 lbs. I don't know what I'm going to do except not eat anything. Today is a funeral. There will be drinks and food, but I must fuck off. I am feeling pretty devestated at the scale alone. I'm glad vacation is over. Its time to get my shit together, but I am right back where I started! How in the hell does this happen in the summer, when I have to wear a bikini. Screw you summer. Anyway, love yall, thanks for letting me rant (:

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[Discussion] Losing weight, losing money
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 05:19:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oo4nf/losing_weight_losing_money/
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I donate plasma. Or sell it, however you wanna say it. They compensate you based on weight. 150 and up, they pay 25/35 for that week.

When I started a month and a half ago their scale said 162. That wasnt accurate, I was 158 but had water loaded.

Yesterday I don't think I drank enough water. Their scale said 148.

The nurse had to pull in the head nurse, and older, thin white woman who looked liked she lives in the sun.

She seemed utterly annoyed and bored about it at first.

"You've lost some weight."

"Yeah, been running more and clean eating. Lots of veggies and brown rice and chicken, very boring."

She nods and she writes on my chart, not even looking at me.

"Yeah...just trying to get bikini ready by winter."

She busted out laughing then looked at some of my tattoos and then wished me a nice day.

They collected less plasma. I will only get 15/25 a week now.

So last night I cook dinner for my boyfriend and eat my separate vegetarian marsala and we do a shot of vodka and come up with ideas to artificially boost my weight before my donations. ( he has been out of his mind with lust. Confirmed, he loves me skinny)

It was really bizarre...its like being in recovery again, lying about my diet, trying to trick their scales.

I weighed in at 143 this morning. So by next week Im going to have to drink ten pounds of water.

I just think it's odd that if you are healthier than the prediabetics that normally donate, you get less. I understand why, but still.

:/

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[Goal] I did my first groceries
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Jun 18 04:34:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oo0sr/i_did_my_first_groceries/
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Tea, diet soda, broth and sented candles.

What else should I get? 16/240h of my fast completed.

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[Help] what are dome tips for avoiding binges?
/u/AvalonBloom
Created: Sat Jun 18 03:48:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4onwys/what_are_dome_tips_for_avoiding_binges/
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Edit: thanks for the great tips!

*sorry no flair* I'm on mobile :'(

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[Rant/Rave] worried for my friend
/u/Erenem [5'4 | 88 | 15.10 | -32lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 03:03:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ont90/worried_for_my_friend/
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One of my best (online) friends told me yesterday that she's worried she's developing an eating disorder. it's still too early to tell for sure, I guess, but it does sound worrying, and I'm scared she might be in that stage of not wanting to turn back. We've known each other for about 5 years now, and she's one of two people that knows much about my AN, but now I worry anything I ever said to her about any of it might have been triggering. I've told her that I'm always here for her and tried not to lecture or beg her, but I've still sent her warnings and tried to show her it's not all it's cracked up to be, just in case at any point I romanticised it a little or made out like it wasn't 'that bad'.

I'm so scared for her, and more than anything I feel like I do have to try my hardest to get her to seek help early. I'd do anything to go back in time and slap myself around the face and go get help when I first realised I was developing an ED, because I've lost so much of my life to it now and so much of myself that recovery no longer seems worth it to me. I don't want her to end up like that.

She said she'll email her old psych if it doesn't get any better and I guess that's good, but I hope she keeps to her word about that or at least talks to me if she needs someone. But I've spent so long wishing I could turn back time, and I can't. At least I can still try to stop her from making the same mistakes.

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[Rant/Rave] I want a huge cookie
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Sat Jun 18 02:08:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4onopj/i_want_a_huge_cookie/
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God I can't sleep I'm thinking about it. One of those huge oversized cookies you can get at the gas station. Tomorrow I might get one and eat it slowly throughout the day. I had to take melatonin before I got up to search for the perfect cookie. I have all day tomorrow to find it I need to sleep now though.

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[Help] Have I broken a fast?
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 18 01:57:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4onnrf/have_i_broken_a_fast/
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I had to try a bit of my daughter's baby food to see if it was the right consistency and temperature, would you class this as breaking a fast? It was about half a teaspoon of baby porridge.

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[Rant/Rave] Guys I really do not want to live anymorre
/u/yousimperlikeaduck
Created: Sat Jun 18 00:59:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4onij0/guys_i_really_do_not_want_to_live_anymorre/
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I just cannot bear living and continuing life as a fat fuck. I am never going to be skinny, because I am a greedy bitch, and when I wake up in the morning, I selfishly feed myself and let myself go nuts in all the delights food has to offer, and I am such an entitled dummy that when it is time to workout, I do not want to workout, and I hate it so much sometimes I purposely obstruct any possibility of working out such as eating dinner right before it is time to workout, and I am not able to go at a later time.I am a dumb fat pig and I go to sleep at night crying because I cannot do something as simple as not stuff food in my mouth. I cannot even restrain myself from something inanimate and something I have to seek out myself. I am a dumb pig cunt and I am so ashamed of my existence. Because I am fat, I am not worthy to live, and even more unworthy considering that I am doing this to myself. I just wanted to rant because I just hate myself. Even worse is that even if I do lose all the weight, I would still have to get plastic surgery to even be worthy of existing. I just hate the body and face I am born into , i hate evrtything aboit me

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[Other] Neon Demon
/u/childshair [5'7 | 110 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 23:54:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4onc0r/neon_demon/
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I keep seeing ads for Neon Demon and I want to see it so bad. It looks like really good thinspo even though I have no idea what the film is about :0

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[Help] Alternative to an EC stack?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 23:38:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4onagp/alternative_to_an_ec_stack/
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[deleted]

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This crystal ball weighs more than some of you guys
/u/digitalbodyofwater [5'5" | 120 | 20 | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 21:44:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4omy84/this_crystal_ball_weighs_more_than_some_of_you/
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https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/63/Quartz_crystal.jpg

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[Thinspo] [Discussion] Am I the only one who looks at clothes for thinspiration?
/u/downtownhomebound
Created: Fri Jun 17 20:59:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4omssb/discussion_am_i_the_only_one_who_looks_at_clothes/
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Whenever I'm in a binge-y mood I go on clothes sites (H&M, American apparel, river island, you name it) and browse through for hours, looking at all those beautiful clothes that I can't wear now because they would squeeze those ugly places too tight, filling up my (e)cart and then just deleting it, knowing that one day I might be able to press buy. Is this just me?

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[Thinspo] Since I guess it's Thinspo day, Alessandra Torresani is totally one of mine.
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 18:35:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4omacn/since_i_guess_its_thinspo_day_alessandra/
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http://imgur.com/a/Ws8BA

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[Thinspo] Thinspo of the Day - Alexa Chung
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 17:56:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4om4y2/thinspo_of_the_day_alexa_chung/
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http://imgur.com/aqx4zAF

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[Other] Getting drunk
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 17:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4om4vy/getting_drunk/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Back Thinspo :)
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: 2fat4me | GW: 121 | UGW: 108 | F22]
Created: Fri Jun 17 17:18:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4olzep/back_thinspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/Zcsqq

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[Other] Funny moment...
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 16:27:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4olrnc/funny_moment/
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Today I felt (and looked) like fucking Shamu so I decided to finally pull the plug on EC stacking after reading about it obsessively for weeks. So I stopped at CVS, went to the pharmacy counter for Bronkaid, and felt like a criminal. I know I wasn't doing anything wrong i.e. illegal but I felt massively guilty. Anyway, I got my Bronkaid and then went to the register at the front of the store to buy the caffeine (I didn't want to buy the caffeine at the same time last the Bronk). Then, as I was leaving the store, THERE WAS A FUCKING COP CAR WITH ITS LIGHTS ON and like three others just sitting there. I nearly shit myself. They obviously didn't give a flying fuck about what I was doing but it was so anxiety inducing esp. when I was already anxious about buy the ephedrine!



Anyway, starting EC stacks tomorrow so hopefully I will no longer look like I belong in a tank at SeaWorld

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[Rant/Rave] An unexpected confidence boost
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 15:49:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ollk7/an_unexpected_confidence_boost/
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This is just me being slightly giddy and having no one I can tell.... Nothing important at all.

So, you know how if you lie down, your bikini bridge is waaay more prominent due to gravity? I was recently in a swanky elevator with a brass(?) ceiling buffed to a mirror shine. I looked up because it was pretty and caught my reflection. Since I was staring straight up, gravity resulted in me having sunken in cheeks. It looked AWESOME.

I really needed inspiration. This will help. That could be me in a couple months, *without* the aid of gravity. Unnnfff

:subdued squeals:

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[Help] Binge mode activated... need help...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 15:41:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4olk8g/binge_mode_activated_need_help/
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I... just fucked up. Really bad...

I was under my lowest weight this morning. I woke up, my stomach was flat and growling and I felt good. Went to have my daily coffee energy drink, but was theown off by my dad making coffee. No big deal right shouldn't throw me off too much, plus lower calories. Well tur s out it is a fucking big deal because the 200 calories in the energy drink sustains me until lunch time. So I decided hey, i bought some low cal cereal and almond milk I'll just take a serving and still be less than the energy drink.

Fucked up. I done fucked up and I knew it the minute I spooned a bit of the cereal in my mouth. The cereal was then followed by three more huge bowls of cereal, a slice of cake, peanut butter, popcorn, doritos, and candies.

I though I was better than this. My stomach is hard as a rock and I still have to eat dinner with the boyfriend... I'm so bloated and sad. How can I recover from this mistake? What's the fastest way? Thank you all for being here...

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[Discussion] Marijuana and metabolism
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Fri Jun 17 15:19:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4olgm5/marijuana_and_metabolism/
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Has anyone else noticed that the weight fell off more easily when they were smoking? I haven't been eating nearly as much and the weight loss seems to happen more easily after I took up smoking again. I had been missing it a lot and was tired of my constant irritability. It seemed to do away with that and also help me steadily lose more weight.

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[Rant/Rave] food issues stemming from family?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 15:03:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ole1t/food_issues_stemming_from_family/
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[deleted]

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[Other] Nikki at her HW and LW (not tagged as Thinspo, because she's in recovery / pro-recovery)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 15:00:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oldfq/nikki_at_her_hw_and_lw_not_tagged_as_thinspo/
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http://i.imgur.com/J6Tm30c.jpg

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[Thinspo] Thinspo of the Day - Taylor Swift
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 14:59:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oldde/thinspo_of_the_day_taylor_swift/
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http://imgur.com/HJfPM76

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[Other] SHRIMP!!
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Fri Jun 17 14:33:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ol8u9/shrimp/
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Shrimp! So much protein! So little calories! I just ate 10 (10!!!) of them for 200 calories. And it was delicious.

The only downside is how expensive they are. But man, shrimp's a food I can get behind.

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[Rant/Rave] you know you're stressed out when
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 14:31:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ol8k8/you_know_youre_stressed_out_when/
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[deleted]

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EC Stack // can anyone explain it to me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 13:29:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4okxuk/ec_stack_can_anyone_explain_it_to_me/
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[deleted]

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This is so motivating! I'm only 45 mins into my fast but still; I like this better than counting down
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Jun 17 12:48:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4okqq4/this_is_so_motivating_im_only_45_mins_into_my/
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http://i.imgur.com/WVzrnBp.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] Kinda discouraged after shopping...
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 155 | 21.68 | -27 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 12:09:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4okjim/kinda_discouraged_after_shopping/
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TL;DR Big rant about shopping and weight and discouragement. Feel free to ignore haha.

So I'm going to a concert and needed to get something to wear, so I had to get some clothes. I've pretty much avoided getting pants especially, because shirts are XS/S/M/L etc so you don't change as much... Anyway I was an 8 for quite a few years before I gained like 40 pounds and of course got some new stuff, but I'm still not really sure what pant size I got to. Like 30, but in US probably a 12 or 14. Ugh.

Anyway, just the past couple days I've been noticing a difference in my body in a positive ways and I was encouraged. So I went shopping. Some shorts that fit were 10s. TENS. I was hoping I was an 8 by now, as I'm the same weight I was when I wore 8s... I bought two size 6 shorts to motivate me that I could barely fit into haha.

I'm going to try my old pants on to see if they still fit me. Maybe it's just a differences among brands thing. But part of me is motivated to go harder, and part of me is discouraged and just wants to say fuck it, I'll always be disgusting.

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[Rant/Rave] hey fam, DOMS related water retention got me down.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 11:57:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4okhbt/hey_fam_doms_related_water_retention_got_me_down/
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I'm sore, my abs are poppin', and my arms/legs are cut. And yet despite a deficit, the scale refuses to move past 112lbs. I know I'm not gaining any sort of weight (muscle or fat), but I'm so discouraged by this plateau. I *know* its my muscles retaining water, but I still desperately want to be 110lbs. I've considered getting a diuretic, but I'm so sketchy on taking anything because of the whole breast feeding issue. Don't want to fuck with hydration (which affects supply), and I refuse to take anything that might be passed through breast milk.

I could stop training I guess, but I know that's an invitation for anxiety/PPD since I'm relying on the exercise endorphins to keep that shit at bay.

harumph. what do I have to do to reach 110lbs?!?! I'm logging all my exercise and food intake like crazy (even using that reverse TDEE worksheet), I've kept bingeing under control, I watch my sodium and fiber intake, and I drink only water/almost black coffee/sugar free tea.

Besides fasting and no exercise, I can't think of what else I could do to reach 110lbs.

Does weight loss really become this slow once you reach lower and lower weight? am I just impatient and I'll get there eventually?

I'm so close, so fucking close. Last week I held steady at 113, this weak I'm holding steady at 112, however its been like this for a month? two months?

I know I look good, and I know 2/3 lbs has a negligible affect on my figure. Its just a mental milestone at this point.

Once I had past 115lbs, I thought 105lbs would be within my reach. pfffft. PPFFFTTT. I had no idea how much harder this would become.

Should I just make peace with 112 lbs/113 lbs? I feel like that's failure, that's giving up when I'm so close.

Frankly, I'm demoralized by a completely normal physiological function (DOMS water retention). What would you guys do? Keeping pushing forward?

I fantasize about stepping on the scale and seeing 110 lbs. I imagine the sense of victory and accomplishment I'd feel. But oh, I know the call of 105 lbs would suddenly start screaming at me. Just like 110 lbs did when I hit 115 lbs.

I may ask questions in an abstract sense, but I *know* I'm going to keep at it. The lure of 110 lbs and eventually 105 lbs, is too strong to let a bit of frustration stop me.

Question for the ladies who lift weights, how do you reconcile the DOMS water retention and the scale stagnating? Besides fasting, stopping exercise, taking a diuretic or drinking more water, what can I do to move past this?

ETA-totally non-sequitur ED thought: I really wish there was a restaurant where nothing on the menu was more than 300 calories.

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[Help] Feeling scared..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 10:34:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ok2lf/feeling_scared/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Anyone have any success with drinking alcohol and restricting?
/u/Someone_Who_Isnt_You
Created: Fri Jun 17 10:09:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ojyb1/anyone_have_any_success_with_drinking_alcohol_and/
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I'm wondering if any of you have had any success with restricting and drinking alcohol at the same time. I really want to avoid eating but drink throughout the day BUT not gain any weight and in fact lose weight. Is that even possible? Please say yes lol...

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 17 10:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ojx1q/daily_food_diary_june_17_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Goal] I binged last night but I'm excited for my plan of restriction today.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 09:52:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ojv8x/i_binged_last_night_but_im_excited_for_my_plan_of/
---
So last night after a ton of exercise I came home and drank 2 beers (148 cals each) and ate 2 hotpockets smothered in blue cheese -_- along with a few cheezits, a piece of bread, and a couple slices of turkey lunch meat dipped in blue cheese. Wtf. BUT, today I ate a banana, coffee, and my vitamins to make "moves" if you know what i'm saying. Now I'm heading to the gym to use all those excess calories for a killer workout. I plan to do an hour of intense cardio and then all my lifting routines. Then I'm coming home and popping a vyvanse (60mg) that I bought for an upcoming music festival. I have a back-up so I'm just gonna take one today and use the other for the festival. This vyvanse will a) KILL my appetite making absolute restriction a lot easier today and b) I'm going to do an OVERHAUL on my room and car. Clean, organized, minimalized. I can't wait to get started. Last night's binge will be meaningless after this gym session + day of cleaning/restriction. I want to head into this weekend clean and powerful and make the most of it. Next weekend is my boyfriend's college grad party (AKA meeting his WHOLE FAMILY and ALL his friends from high school). I will look perfect, etheral, breath-taking, delicate, and skinnyfit. I simply will.

Thanks for listening and enjoy your days <3

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[Other] nice ad reddit, just, really fitting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 09:19:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ojpip/nice_ad_reddit_just_really_fitting/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] I will not let this number break me again.
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 155 | 21.68 | -27 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 08:59:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ojm8e/i_will_not_let_this_number_break_me_again/
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Almost a year ago, I got to 156. Just afterwards my boyfriend's mom died. We were very close, and I still am with the rest of his family so it was a very difficult time and I ended up completely going back to straight binging every few days and gaining a crazy amount of weight.

Today I woke up and weighed and I'm 156.5. I will not let up or relax this time. I will not make excuses because I'm still far too fat. But it is really satisfying to know that I will weigh less than I have in YEARS soon.

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[Thinspo] Before/after album
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 08:46:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ojk5w/beforeafter_album/
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https://imgur.com/a/y1sJ6

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[Discussion] DAE wish it was socially acceptable to carry around a travel food scale and not have people think you're a drug dealer?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 08:38:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ojisg/dae_wish_it_was_socially_acceptable_to_carry/
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I'm not as strong as some of you ladies and gents and can't make myself fast fully for days in a row so I end eating small amounts each day. But sometimes when I'm forced to go out, my friends and family eat out a lot, I wish I could just whip out a small scale and log everything correctly and then eat. I'm terrible at estimating anything having to do with size by eye, you tell me a room is 10x14 and I have no idea what to picture. I always write down more calories than my estimation but I'd love it if I could get accurate counts. Even for menu places that have calorie counts, I bet they aren't the same size portions every time which would cause fluctuations. It's just so discouraging when I can't know for certain and throw off the rest of my day/weekend/week.

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[Intro] Rambling intro
/u/dazeyheadmayzie [5'4" | 98.8 | 17.29 | -29 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 08:10:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ojecf/rambling_intro/
---
Hello,
I've been lurking here for a while, and a few months ago I created an account so that I could participate more in discussions here. I'm awfully forgetful and have already lost the password, so I was never able to do an introduction or post much of anything. I created this new account under almost the the same username, but this time I linked it to an email so that this doesn't happen again.
Anyway, hi I'm Daisy!(but obviously I'm also dazey) I'm 21, recently graduated from college and moved out of my parents house. I'm really happy that this place exists, and I just sorta wanted to do a quick intro/ explain my airheadedness. After reading the thread about everyone's 'ideal persona' I felt inspired to draw a picture of mine so I've also included that here. Sorry for the huge ramble and the hodge podge of a post that this has become. I'll get better at this, I promise! I hope everyone has a really lovely day!

http://imgur.com/cWij6qZ

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[Help] What do doctors classify as anorexic bmi?
/u/princessxpixie [5"4.5 | 104lbs | 17.5 | -29lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Jun 17 07:00:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oj3s1/what_do_doctors_classify_as_anorexic_bmi/
---
Just wondering what the bmi would be. I want to go to the drs to see a nutrionist because my hangriness is at another level rn and my bf cant deal. I just want to find out what vitamins im missing that is causing me to be so irritable so i cant start including them into my diet. My bf said hes going to force me to stop losing weight if i carry on being so moody. What bmi would alarm them or class as an anorexic bmi. Ngl this is also for me to know how much i need to lose to look super skinny and beautiful. thanks for any one that replies x

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[Goal] I'm going to be okay this summer
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 06:31:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oizua/im_going_to_be_okay_this_summer/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Thigh Gap (+!) but fatty inner thigh...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 06:20:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oiy9u/thigh_gap_but_fatty_inner_thigh/
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I'm coming really far along and can see a definite change in my legs... there's a thigh gap that goes all the way down (the only place my legs touch are my knees)!

There's one thing though, the tops of my legs look like drumsticks? They are these two pooches of fat at the very tops of my inner thighs. How do I get rid of those? Can I get rid of them?

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[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! June 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 17 06:03:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oiw0o/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_june_17_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for June 17, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Rant/Rave] rationality? a foreign concept
/u/qwertylooping [5' 3" | LW 107 | CW: dory speaks my language]
Created: Fri Jun 17 03:23:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oif9y/rationality_a_foreign_concept/
---
SO. I posted a few times about my recent binge cycle causing me to gain weight and trying to break out of it (which I did by fasting for 7 days - whoo!) BUT! Today I was finally able to weigh myself at home, which I haven't done since the cycle started months ago - and I'm down more than 7 lbs. This scale has been consistent the entire time I've used it, and all my friends at home have said I've gotten thinner.

So...either my body dysmorphia is really just that bad since I thought I'd gained 10 lbs using my school's gym scale (and thought I saw the fat gain) OR this scale is wrong. Either scenario sucks, but I guess the former sucks less.

ANYWAY, after shopping with friends and realizing I can fit into an A&F size XS now, I binged again.,The idiot part of my brain to believes that I'm much more efficient at purging than I thought, and can still lose weight eating over 4000 kcal a day. Because that's a healthy mindset, isn't it?? CURSE YOU, IRRATIONALITY.

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ED and cellulite
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 17 01:01:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oi1uc/ed_and_cellulite/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] We meet again Potato chips
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 17 00:39:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ohzfn/we_meet_again_potato_chips/
---
I have been feeling so great about myself the last few weeks, I came back to the U.S. mid May and have committed myself to 2 months of healthy, restrictive eating (nothing too intense, but definitely well below my maintenance requirements) Before leaving in July to move over seas with my boyfriend. So far it's been a huge success, I've lost 7 lbs and I'm hoping to lose 3-4 more before boyfriend shows up in 2.5 weeks. Well, it was going awesome. I've had a few minor slip ups, mostly when I've had any alcohol. tonight was a classic case. Karaoke with my dad, I left room in my daily allotment for 2 beers which I happily indulged in, and then we got home and I settled in for a glorious Bob's Burgers Netflix session. That was when the slight tipsiness from the beers and my hunger from restricting all week got to me and I binged on a bag of potato chips from Trader Joes. I ate about 1/2 the bag (140 calories a serving/ 7 servings per bag) and now I'm laying here trying to decide if I want to despise myself for this or simply enjoy the salty full feeling filling my tummy. A bit of both I guess. But, long story short, I just wanted you all to know that I feel a calm about this situation, more so than I normally would, since I've been reading the posts on this subreddit. I've read so much encouragement on here about picking ourselves up and moving forward regardless of our mistakes, and I think I will gladly take that advice. Tomorrow I can get back at it, with a slightly fuller stomach. I'll deal with the sodium bloats and discomfort for one day and in a day or two it will be like it never happened. Thanks for helping me feel a tiny ounce of order in a temporary loss of control. You are all beautiful :)

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[Help] Those of you who also have ADHD
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 22:51:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ohmu9/those_of_you_who_also_have_adhd/
---
First of all I hope that it's okay that I post this here. I posted it in r/ADHD as well but posting in new subs scares me and you lovelies are always so attentive and helpful. I just feel more comfortable posting here.

So I have had heaps of issues growing up and been diagnosed with a few different things but just recently ADD which seems to be the most reasonable explanation for my issues.
My psychiatrist prescribed me 18mg of Concerta to start for two weeks with an increase after our next visit. I have noticed an incredible improvement already with just my general life. My focus, motivation and drive are all so much better. BUT!! 12 hours after I took my morning dose (or right before) I have this horrible wave of anxiety rush over me and just doesn't go away. When I'm "on the drug" I make all these plans and commitments and I'm so proud of myself and feel so accomplished but as soon as It wears off I'm in a complete panic and want to run far away from all my responsibilities and this overwhelming inability to relax.

Has anyone else experienced this? If so, is there a way to control this or prevent it? I'm freaking outttt. I've always had anxiety, but it's never been this bad. It just comes on so sudden and feel like I've smacked into a brick wall.


*edit: grammar

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[Rant/Rave] the fury
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 16 22:38:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ohl7a/the_fury/
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[deleted]

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[Help] I had a bad day in talk therapy. I'm 99% sure my therapist is lying to me. (Long, any advice?)
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Jun 16 22:34:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ohko8/i_had_a_bad_day_in_talk_therapy_im_99_sure_my/
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This has been a really bad few days as far as weight and eating issues. Husband has decided to get the both of us gung-ho onboard a diet consisting of mostly protein shakes and kale, thinking that if we know what we're eating is healthy, I will not concern myself with weight or calories. In all actuality, what this has done is given me leeway to buy tons of <20 calorie herbal, fiber, and protein supplements to slip into my tea to stave off hunger pains while I eat somewhere between 200 and 500 calories indefinitely. I don't mind hunger pains at all. They're easy to deal with unless I'm trying to sleep. What I do mind is that all the dizzy spells, which I tend to get anyway, have been magnified about 100 fold this week. My vision goes wonky every time I stand up. I nearly fainted on the treadmill twice yesterday. I don't know how that even happened. It's ridiculous, since thus far I've only restricted for four days. Monday I had 200 calories, Tuesday I stopped counting (because I was supposed to be doing an experiment for my psychologist wherein I don't weigh myself or count calories and see if I balloon up like the bloody Michelin man) and ended up eating around 1700ish calories, and Wednesday I had 470. Today my total was 561. I'm not even mad at myself, because I've never seen the weight come off this fast.

Yesterday I laid in bed and wept profusely at the thought of being 118 pounds forever.

Today I weighed 115 which is better but nowhere near there yet. I still have 20 pounds to lose.

***TL;DR PART 1: MY HUSBAND IS ON THE PALEO DIET AND I'M GOING FOR 95 OR BUST***

So I make the mistake of going to therapy today. I'm furious. It went so badly. So fucking badly I can't even think straight. worse than even I had anticipated, which seldom happens.

In brief, she first said that my current weight of 115 pounds was way too skinny for me and that 120 would be much better. 118 if I really couldn't handle gaining weight. In the very next breath she said my goal weight of 95 pounds was not thin enough to qualify as anorexic, despite being medically underweight. She would not tell me, of course, what the number actually as, being as I'm preoccupied with numbers, but this means that I will have to lower my goal weight even further and frankly, I'm not even sure if I can get to 95 lbs.

I am almost certain that at 5 feet two inches tall and 23 years old, dropping weight to 95 pounds before September would get me into an anorexia diagnosis. Am I wrong? Is there anyone here with a diagnosis- past or present- of AN who can tell me what the magic number actually is?

Also, just as an aside...

HOW IN THE WIDE WORLD OF FUCK CAN THIS WOMAN TELL ME I AM SIMULTANEOUSLY TOO SKINNY AND YET MY THINNEST FANTASY- MY ASPIRATION- IS NOT SLIM ENOUGH?!?!

THEN, when I told her that I didn't know if I could just begin eating 1500 calories a day, she said that "some therapists" dismiss their patients for refusing to take advice, though she then added that she wouldn't. I don't care whether or not she would; the fact that she even worded it in such a manner is CLEARLY a manipulative tactic to get me to stuff myself fat for her-- using my fear of abandonment against me. Woman, you are not my husband or my friends. Don't act like you can wield that kind of power over my actions. You can't. If I have to shop for a new therapist, one who doesn't believe 120 fucking pounds is "attractive and healthy" I damn well will.

After that all she said was, "I can't stop you if you choose to go down that path." of course you can't, but isn't my husband paying you to fucking try???

Not once did she say that whatever semblance of an eating disorder I posses is as valid as anorexia. Maybe it's actually not and she didn't say it because she didn't want to lie to me; that's fine. It's wishful thinking on my part to hope that she'd say that. But she didn't say anything else remotely encouraging either. Only that she couldn't stop me.

Fine, don't stop me. First I'm going to figure out how much of what you said is bullshit. Then I'm going to restrict until I'm thin enough. I will make it. Because I have to make it.

***TL;DR PART 2: I TOLD MY THERAPIST ABOUT MY FASTING AND SHE TOLD ME 116 IS TOO THIN AND YET 95 IS NOT ANOREXIC, AND THAT THERE'S NOTHING MORE SHE CAN DO FOR ME***

Seriously, how much of what she said to me is something you've heard an ed specialist (which she is not) say to you? Can anyone offer any corrections?

*Also, as a note to everyone here, I am sorry if my desire to be labelled as anorexic is breaking the rules. I'm not trying to be a poseur, I swear. I have an eating disorder. My therapist said so two weeks ago. I've had on-and-off cycles of unhealthy restriction for over a year now. My eating problems started lat year when I wanted to have a flat stomach, then I wanted to weigh 105 lbs, then I wanted to weigh 95, then I wanted to weigh 95 AND be considered anorexic. I innately feel like I HAVE to be diagnosed with AN or my eating disordered misery is all for nothing and I'm also a worthless person who doesn't deserve real help.*

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[Other] I saw this on tumblr- what an amazing change!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 16 22:09:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ohhcp/i_saw_this_on_tumblr_what_an_amazing_change/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/f87daa25df2040d7b64ff2c1f1634bc5?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=108caa3772cb4c7c57d4d052c678db51

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[Discussion] Today I got amazing news and terrible news.
/u/StarPerry [5' 5.5" | 153 | 23.07 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 22:07:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ohh51/today_i_got_amazing_news_and_terrible_news/
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Hey guys!

It's been a while since I have been here, and no surprise, I got fat. 20 fucking pounds. Can you believe it?

Anyhow, let's start off with the good. Today, I got my drivers license! I am so pumped, I can go out to the gym and fitness classes WHENEVER I want.

Now on to the bad news. After some chatting, I discovered my boyfriend prefers petite girls and browses things like petitegw or busty petite. This is after him repeatedly telling me he likes my body. I understand why he would lie to me, but it hurts so bad knowing what he really wants and not being that, like, at all. At 5' 5.5" and 152, I am a real sack of lard.

I know that every time he calls me pretty or beautiful he is lying. But with my license and the best motivation ever, I think I will be as tiny as he wants soon enough.

I hope so! Now I am going to go make a food/exercise diary. Wish me luck!

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[Rant/Rave] I didn't binge!!
/u/slytherlin [5'5" | CW: 130 | GW:110 | NB]
Created: Thu Jun 16 21:22:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ohawd/i_didnt_binge/
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I've lurked here for a while but haven't posted because I'm still so heavy compared to some of y'all, but I had a awesome personal victory today I wanted to share to encourage myself/others!

I have quest bars in my pantry to prevent me from getting anything less healthy, but those fuckers are still like 190 calories. :| I've been restricting to around 600 a day, and I'd hit 505 for today's total but ohhh lord, I could feel the pull of that cookies n cream bar. And I KNEW that I had a few others in there, and it would be so easy to stuff my face with quest bar after quest bar.... I suddenly NEEDED peanut butter.

Before I could let myself give in and go over my limit, I sat the hell down, grabbed a fork, and ate some damn kimchi straight out of the tub. Craving killer.

Instead of binging almost 200 calories, I only had about 30. :)

Sometimes I'm almost frightened by how powerful and impulsive cravings are. It's literally like you're possessed by someone with no regard to their body/wellbeing, you know? (I hope some of you guys do cause otherwise that sounds crazy, hehe.) Cravings can be so fucking overwhelming. But I didn't give in to the cravings. I didn't succumb to the possession.

...that makes it sound cooler than it was, but I felt proud of myself and wanted to share. With my current calorie plan, I should be around 130 by July and nearing 120 by August. :D

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[Other] Weighed less than I thought I would
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Thu Jun 16 21:19:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ohajm/weighed_less_than_i_thought_i_would/
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I was eating candy all day; not over 500 calories but still, sugar typically turns to fat. I was anxious about posting a picture and updating my stats in the coming posts. I stepped on my scale expecting to see 110, but instead it was 108.4! I might get to 107 tomorrow which would mean I'm finally underweight again. I feel so happy I wanted to share.

Now I just need to keep it up so I can have a good progress pic.

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[Help] How long until water weight from binge will dieeeeeee!!
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 21:12:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oh9ji/how_long_until_water_weight_from_binge_will/
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So three days ago I binged (between 2000-2500cal) oops. Went to my mom's which has always been triggering to me. TMI- Ate dairy which blocked me up plus got my 2nd period for the month (thanks birth control). So needless to say the next day I went from 124 to 128. The next day I ate under 300 cal and weighed 130. Finally today I had a BM still 130, ate 500 cal today. I know it's all poop and water but I need to weigh 124 again... how long could this take to pass.

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[Help] Anybody tried an EC stack on meds? Any tips about meds are appreciated!
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Thu Jun 16 20:35:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oh475/anybody_tried_an_ec_stack_on_meds_any_tips_about/
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Howdy lovelies!

What's your experience with EC stacks?

Straight restricting isn't working well for me. Hopefully an EC stack will provide the boost I need to get off my ass and exercise. However, i'm worried about an EC stack messing with my psych meds.

I'm currently taking generics of lamictal, celexa, and vistaril for bipolar II, depression, and anxiety attacks (in corresponding order).

They are pooping out on me and i'll be talking with my GP about changing things up. I have no clue what he'd want to do about the bipolar (and now BPD, sigh) but i'd like to give vyvanse and wellbutrin another try for depression, anxiety, and energy.

The meds are also tearing up my stomach, even worse when I empty out during a fast. Even worse drinking black coffee. No bathroom problems, just like... a foamy stomach? I constantly feel overfull and queasy. Sorry if that's tmi!

Any experience you have related to this stuff is super appreciated. Thanks a bunch!

Lots of love for those that struggle with additional mental disorders xoxoxoxox <3

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[Rant/Rave] 2000 calories a day to 800, and I'm not hungry!
/u/hpsterscum [5'3 | 132.4 | 23.5 | -8 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 20:34:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oh45t/2000_calories_a_day_to_800_and_im_not_hungry/
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I've been trying to lose weight *forever* but I can't seem to stop bingeing. Lately I've been stuck at around 135 lbs. I would do really well for a week and then that would just awaken the binge monster and I'd undo the progress the week after.

Well finally, I have decided to draw the line. I'm doing [this](https://www.bulletproofexec.com/rapid-fat-loss-protocol). No, it's not healthy, but I'm desperate to lose weight. Being chubby is keeping me from living the life I want and I am determined to get thin!

Anyways, I just wanted to vent a bit. The program is going terrifically so far. I have zero hunger, and I feel great, although I do miss eating food. Just gotta stay strong for 3 more days and then I can have a nice, reasonable refeed day!

(By the way, I admire everyone here who has enough self-control to eat <1200 calories. I can't do that eating normal food but eating just fat keeps me satiated!)

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[Rant/Rave] SUMMERSTOCK RANT
/u/presidentkennady [5'3'' | too fucking gross | too damn high | f]
Created: Thu Jun 16 19:36:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ogvsy/summerstock_rant/
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So I'm interning at a summerstock outdoor theatre. It's awesome, it's hard work so I get lots of exercise and sweat a lot etc etc. how-fuckin'-ever, they provide breakfast, lunch, and dinner for us. It's ALL CARBS. Southern comfort carbs, carbs, carbs all day every day. And they get so OFFENDED when you skip a meal. Like - I paid YOU the amount of money it would cost to feed me this summer and for my room. I bought the food. I should have the right to refuse it. They sit salad material out but the plate is so covered with whatever slop then there's only a smidge of room. I'm trying to recover here. I want ALL the damn veggies.

And, guys, gosh. There's this girl here and she visibly suffers from an ED too. She has the extra hair, but thin and frizzy hair, all bones, plays around with her food and never really eats it, and she has like three pints of Halo Top in the fridge. Like girl, I see you. I feel you and I'm sorry. I wish I could tell her I can relate but I definitely do not want to make her upset. So fellow cast member, if you can read my mind as I type this during this show, I understand and I'm sorry.

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[Thinspo] 17 years old 288lbs/19 years old 159lbs. Everything hurts and I feel like I'm dying.
/u/coffee109
Created: Thu Jun 16 19:18:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ogt9a/17_years_old_288lbs19_years_old_159lbs_everything/
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http://imgur.com/Nrz9MjN

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[Other] Pros and Cons of Purging Spaghetti
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 18:48:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ogosl/pros_and_cons_of_purging_spaghetti/
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PROS

* tastes like an Italian restaurant
* smells pleasant
* comes up fairly easily

CONS

* youre purging spaghetti

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[Other] So I found these....
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 18:33:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ogmkq/so_i_found_these/
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http://i.imgur.com/bjYvzm0.jpg

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[Discussion] What are some positive connotations/assumptions that go along with being thin?
/u/m_inimal
Created: Thu Jun 16 17:40:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oge3l/what_are_some_positive_connotationsassumptions/
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I restrict in order to look a certain way, but getting down to my UGW is not only for aesthetic effect. I also want people to make assumptions of me that I wouldn't make of myself now, in my current, gross body.
Here's a few to get started:
- More intellectual
- Has more interesting things to say
- Tasteful
- Doesn't have a loud, brash personality

What do you guys think??

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[Help] Shoulder-To-Boob-Fat???????
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW "healthy" | GW 120 - UGW 113;18 | +28]
Created: Thu Jun 16 16:36:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4og3qh/shouldertoboobfat/
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Alright, so I am wearing a sports bra (character cartoon outfit of choice) and I just noticed...
and am horrified...
that I have this wack deposit of fat between my boobs and my armpit/shoulder? Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew you can GRAB it :'( if someone grabbed it and said FAAAAAT I think I would cry and die.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS ON ANYONE, but frantic googling says it exists. My BMI is a low 19 - wtf do I have this fat THERE when my boob size is like a casual 34B?
- main point: what the hell can I do to tone a place that seems to be all chest muscle?
HELP ME WITH MY BOOBPIT FAT :(

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[Help] Tips for when you fall off the wagon??
/u/stop-meowing
Created: Thu Jun 16 16:05:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ofyjj/tips_for_when_you_fall_off_the_wagon/
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I've basically been on a month long binge. Barely tracking what I eat. Eating like a pig. How do I get my drive back?? I've been looking at thinspo and it just isn't working the same as before. Today is the first day I've been strict with myself and it feels soooo good to have it back, but I don't want to lose it again. Also, I'm on mobile so no flair

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[Rant/Rave] I binged and I feel terrible
/u/GiveMeASmosh [5''2' | 101.2lb | 18.5 | -13lb | f]
Created: Thu Jun 16 15:50:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ofvus/i_binged_and_i_feel_terrible/
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I feel so disgusting, I was doing bad all week but this has to be the worst day so far. I did really really bad and had mcdonalds because my friend convinced me and it just spun my day horribly so now I'm sitting on my couch feeling terrible because my stomach isn't used to so much high fat food or something... I don't know I feel sick but maybe it's because I feel disgusting. I'm going to fast all weekend.

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[Goal] Okay so here's my plan
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Jun 16 15:31:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ofsoj/okay_so_heres_my_plan/
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My parents leave Saturday morning.

I'll bag all the food in the house in a bag, take it outside and leave it next to a homeless person's sleeping place.

I'll then go grocery shopping; diet soda, all kinds and flavours, tea, broth. I'll buy this with any cash I have and pay the rest by card.

I'll go home and destory my card. Order a new one and let that arrive in five days, so I can't buy anything.

That's it. That's the best I can do. If I still screw it up I'm just not strong enough. 8 day fast.

C'mon me. Loose all the fucking weight you put on. Thighs apart, ribs show, collarbones out.

Any other helpful ideas?

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[Other] :\
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Thu Jun 16 15:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ofqpk/_/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/9c4d6906429b4677845028ed12877b99?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=6d15a2feccda88a3783b1ab488cfa69c

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[Other] A song by Daughter that reminds me of my ED
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 15:08:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ofoh0/a_song_by_daughter_that_reminds_me_of_my_ed/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnkzvAXWV-0

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Soylent meal replacement helped me re-feed myself while trying to recover from restricting and purging without overwhelming anxiety.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 16 14:33:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ofi83/soylent_meal_replacement_helped_me_refeed_myself/
---
https://www.soylent.com/product/powder/

---

[Help] Mixing EC Stack and Wellbutrin?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 14:19:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4offg3/mixing_ec_stack_and_wellbutrin/
---
I have been taking a low dosage EC stack for a while but my doctor prescribed Wellbutrin for me today. She said a side effect is speeding up my heart rate. She doesn't know I am taking EC. Is it safe to still take EC while on Wellbutrin?

---

[Rant/Rave] I really have to tell you all how much you ROCK!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 14:14:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ofehm/i_really_have_to_tell_you_all_how_much_you_rock/
---
I want you to know that I go through this sub every day and I upvote each and every single one of your posts. The sense of community here is overwhelming! When you're sad, I empathize with you, and when you're happy, I celebrate with you!


You guys have kept me focused and on track, and when I slip up I don't punish myself too harshly anymore. This is truly a safe space and we all have one common goal that we fight so hard for every day.


This post is long overdue but it felt so cliché to say something, but I just had to finally get it out there. If you're a lurker afraid of being rejected, just know that that will never be the case.


Seriously, you guys rock.

---

[Tip] Primatene/Bronkaid generic at Walgreens
/u/30sumfinproA
Created: Thu Jun 16 14:08:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ofddg/primatenebronkaid_generic_at_walgreens/
---
Hi all, just a heads up that Walgreens has generic Primatene for about $4 or $5 less than brand name.

And to clarify why I put Bronkaid in the title, Primatene is Ephedrine HCL, Bronkaid is ephedrine sulfate. They work the same, though. I heard the sulfate is for absorption properties or something.

Posting from mobile, please excuse any errors or mistakes.

---

[Other] that moment when you think you're on the right track and then wear a bikini for the first time...
/u/sunflowerfairy [4'11" | no goal weight; nothing will ever be good enough.]
Created: Thu Jun 16 12:39:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oewnx/that_moment_when_you_think_youre_on_the_right/
---
...and realize how disgusting your body really is (i wrapped my arms around my body the entire time i walked, lovely.)


i'm having a harder time putting the fork down and have had to keep food down as well (thanks to family insistence) and it's showing...i think i need to lower my goal weight by a kilo or two. oh well

---

[Rant/Rave] Why am I so lopsided?
/u/mild-rose [5'11 | 144 |20.14 | not enough | f]
Created: Thu Jun 16 12:17:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oesgg/why_am_i_so_lopsided/
---
Okay so
I've always been pretty thin, not like actually thin, but on the low side of average.
But the thing is, my upper body is pretty small? Like pre-relapse I could touch every single finger to my thumb around my wrist, and my waist pre-relapse was 24 inches around.
But then there's my lower body, squeezing itself into size ten jeans and jiggling like there's no tomorrow.
Why am I so lopsided? It's fucking awful and I hate it.
On the plus side, only 5 more pounds until I'm out of the 140's

---

[Thinspo] The line from shoulder to collar bone.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 12:00:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oep55/the_line_from_shoulder_to_collar_bone/
---
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/1f/27/9b/1f279b9405c1b17a1098feb677d32b1a.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] Separating the physical from the psychological
/u/alwaysfindabetterway [5'9 | 150 | 22.1 | 0 | Male]
Created: Thu Jun 16 10:54:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oece6/separating_the_physical_from_the_psychological/
---
[removed]

---

[Help] I've just impulsively cut up my debit card and credit card because b/p-ing is expensive.
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Thu Jun 16 10:22:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oe6gb/ive_just_impulsively_cut_up_my_debit_card_and/
---
I really don't know which part of that statement is the most crazy. I literally cannot have easy access to my money because I will spend it all on food that I end up making myself vomit up anyway.

Sigh. When will I finally win the fight between my goals and my impulses? :(

---

[Discussion] Recommendations for a diet or low cal soda?
/u/KillingKylie [5'5| Piggy|-25|F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 10:21:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oe64h/recommendations_for_a_diet_or_low_cal_soda/
---
Hello everyone!

I am embarking upon a 3 day fast tomorrow and am getting bored of my usual drinks. With that's said I am wondering if anyone can recommend a good diet or low cal soda? I am sick of sparkling water, allergic to Dr.Pepper and don't like diet Coke or Pepsi. (This is why my picky ass is having difficulties.)

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 16 10:02:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oe2h4/daily_food_diary_june_16_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 16, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Goal] Someone noticed some weight loss last night!
/u/IWant2BASkeleton [5'7 | 151.0 | 23.7 | -16.8 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 08:43:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4odnqt/someone_noticed_some_weight_loss_last_night/
---
Sorry, no flair bc I'm on mobile.

So I've lost about 7.5 lbs from my highest weight after stalling out at my highest and bouncing around within 4-5 lbs of it for months. So not too much but still a bit (will update my flair when I get to -10), but this is the first time it's kinda stayed off and I've continued a downward trend of losing.

So I'm a bartender and we have to wear either leggings or spandex shorts at night and last night it was over 80 degrees so I wore spandex shorts and my tanktop. Well let me tell you, I was uncomfortable as always until a girl I've only known a few weeks comes in and starts absolutely GUSHING about how skinny I've been looking and how she can tell I've lost weight especially in my legs, waist and face (!!!!!!!!!) And she asks me for help on how to lose some. So, even though I made like no money, last night was still worth working in my book just for that. Plus since I was working I wasn't out drinking and consuming calories and spending money so that's good

---

[Help] How long does it take food and water weight to go away?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 08:43:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4odnq3/how_long_does_it_take_food_and_water_weight_to_go/
---
The scale says I've gained 2 lbs since last Friday even though I'm 98% sure I ate at or under my tdee every day since then. Maybe all my water and food weight was out of my system by then, but it's so frustrating to not see any progress after a week of good eating. What do?

---

[Help] gaining weight despite exercising more?
/u/Claviature [5'0" | 93 lb | 18.2 | -21 lb | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 08:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4odki3/gaining_weight_despite_exercising_more/
---
lately i've been working out a lot more because i have more time. however, instead of losing weight as expected, i'm actually gaining. furthermore, according to my calories in/out, i am creating a deficit. so what's going on? the only thing i can think of is that i've been drinking a lot more water lately, so i could be holding in water weight despite sweating and peeing more.

---

[Help] I have a lot of loose skin on my stomach... how can I fix it?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 07:37:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4odcfk/i_have_a_lot_of_loose_skin_on_my_stomach_how_can/
---
It's pretty gross... what can I do to get rid of this blight on my body? :( what are the best exercises? How long will it take? I want to take cute laying down pics but all that nasty dangling skin is wrinkling up.

I think its skin at least. It feels more like a deflated baloon the a squishy fat pocket... if that makes sense(?)

I want it gone T_T

---

[Rant/Rave] Introduction/Rant
/u/Blehergered [5'3 | 156.4 | Overweight | -25 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 16 07:24:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4odaf8/introductionrant/
---
I started restricting in high school and stopped for a while once I graduated. Now, 4 years later, I'm fucking obese. I have no idea why I let myself get so bad but here I am.

I feel like I will never learn how to eat healthy. If I'm not bingeing then I'm restricting. It's like a endless cycle I will never be able to escape.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support June 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 16 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ocynk/weekly_emotional_support_june_16_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Other] A lady was just making a salad on the news...
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 120 | 19.7 | -22]
Created: Thu Jun 16 05:23:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4octzt/a_lady_was_just_making_a_salad_on_the_news/
---
...for National Fresh Veggies Day and it looked great until at the end she added two handfuls of sunflower seeds (~400 cal) and like 1/4 cup of oily dressing (~170 cal). It may have just looked like so much because of ED brain but I swear I gasped alone in the breakroom. Do any of you ever do this watching cooking shows?

---

[Help] My parents will be gone next week
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Jun 16 01:37:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oc6su/my_parents_will_be_gone_next_week/
---
So I was thinking about removing ALL the food in the house that I'd want to eat and just buy like 20 bottles of zero cal soda and all kinds of tea.

But what am I gonna do with the food? I can't donate it cause it isn't canned and my area doesn't have any homeless people. I'm also lonely af and no friends to feed.

---

[Rant/Rave] Yep. My Dad 'just happens' to be in the area at the time of my doctors appointment, and will be there to make sure I go.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jun 16 01:10:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oc41o/yep_my_dad_just_happens_to_be_in_the_area_at_the/
---
I KNEW it.

Carry on from [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nggx1/so_my_dad_practically_frog_marched_me_round_to/). tl;dr, Dad saw how much I weighed on the scale at my gym, forced me to make a doctors appointment (*I don't even think that weigh in was accurate.. I think it knocked 7lbs off for some reason.. but whatever..*)

As I said in the comments, I suspected he might turn up to make sure I go to the appointment which is why I wasn't considering cancelling, but really put that down to paranoia because my Dad usually isn't the invasive type. But it *was* the reason I didn't cancel..

Aaannnddd just now I get a text from my step-mother telling me.. no, warning me I think.. that my Dad will be at the doctors. I rang him, and he said he 'may as well' because he's apparently dropping my stepmother off to do some shopping, so why not wait with me to keep me company? Yeah. Right. How CONVENIENT.

I love my father (again, as I said in those comments) but this is too invasive. Of course I told him in no uncertain terms that he is NOT coming into the appointment with me even if he waits with me, I wanted to talk to my GP privately - so I can still say whatever the hell I want. It's not a huge thing. I'm 27 and none of them can force me to say/do anything I don't want. But.. yeah, this is too invasive, and I'm mad at him for that.

Taking bets on him trying to take me for some greasy, calorific lunch too. Eurgh.

---

[Discussion] Is it weird that watching porn makes me motivated? (TMI & NSFW)
/u/StonedIdaho
Created: Wed Jun 15 23:23:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4obs5b/is_it_weird_that_watching_porn_makes_me_motivated/
---
So in the last 3 weeks I've stalled because I've been binging so much. Every day, in fact. I can't gain back control. But the last 3 days, if I watch porn with skinny women (I.e. "Perfect" "Skinny" "Thin" genres), I see how the girls are treated so much better than the fat actresses (like the guys actually eat them out first, they don't ALWAYS have to blow him first, etc) and it motivates the crap out of me. Like, this could be a breakthrough, any thoughts? I'll take nice or mean comments, and ANY advice to get remotivated again. Thanks(:

---

[Help] Sleeping pills?
/u/behindthearmory
Created: Wed Jun 15 22:55:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oboy6/sleeping_pills/
---
I've been doing great with my fasting (200-300 cals a day) and despite going on 3-4 miles everyday and exhausting myself in every way physically, I can't fall asleep at night.

Should I abstain from sleeping pills since my heart rate has been lower than usual? Does anyone take them when fasting at that amount of calories without any issues? Any advice is welcome, thanks lovelies!

---

[Thinspo] Svelte
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 22:41:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4obndh/svelte/
---
http://imgur.com/a/LrFxs

---

[Thinspo] List of thinspo books?
/u/damn_it_linda
Created: Wed Jun 15 22:37:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4obmuf/list_of_thinspo_books/
---
Anyone have any particular thinspo books that keep them "motivated" to restrict? I must have read 'Wasted' by Marya Hornbacher at least 100 times, I wanted to see if there were some others that may be useful as well.

---

[Rant/Rave] Coworker called me fat
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 142 | 24.4 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 22:23:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4obl0i/coworker_called_me_fat/
---
Not sure what I'm looking for out of posting this, I just wanted to get it off my chest and you guys came to mind.

I was at work doing stuff in the back, and as a coworker passed by me he pinched my upper arm and just said "fat". It was in a teasing tone, and we do often tease each other little things and bicker about silly stuff. But I don't get how he could think that was funny? He must have been able to tell that I didn't think it was funny because he immediately asked if I was angry. I said I wasn't because I was in kind of shock and, but also partly because I wasn't angry I was just sad. It was a downer to be reminded that other people notice it too.

It also bummed me out because my arms currently aren't one of the parts of my body that I'm focused on. I used to really hate my arms and hate tank tops and all that. Recently I've started rock climbing and built a little bit of muscle there. I know there probably isn't any noticeable difference, but I wasn't worrying too much about my arms.

So the rest of the day I was feeling massively self conscious. Sitting on chairs I felt like my hips were spilling over the sides of the chairs and I felt disgusting.

I resolved not to eat for the rest of the day. I skipped the free meal I get at work, but ate a cliff bar later in the day. Right now I should be having dinner but I'm in my room trying to distract myself so I won't eat. I saw a post about thinspo movies so I may watch one of those. I'm going to try again tomorrow for a 0 calorie day.

Is it fucked up that I want him to notice that I'm eating less and feel bad for what he said? I suppose it'll be great thins whenever I want to eat at work.

---

[Other] One of my favorite songs that reminds me of my ED (Lyrics in comments)
/u/selfofsteam [5'4 | 120 lbs | 20.6 | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 22:00:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4obhxy/one_of_my_favorite_songs_that_reminds_me_of_my_ed/
---
http://youtu.be/XPgGjUSEWss

---

[Discussion] Anyone feel like they don't look any different no matter how much weight they've lost?
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 137 lbs | -14 | GW 115 | 22.11 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 20:04:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ob18y/anyone_feel_like_they_dont_look_any_different_no/
---
So I started at 151 around the beginning of March and am now at a steady 137, going down slower since 140, but steadily enough that I'm not too worried about gaining it back. Everyone says how my arms, waist, legs look thinner. My clothes are even falling off my hips nowadays.

This is all nice but when I look at myself I don't feel any different, when my tights rip around my thighs I freak out that I somehow got fatter since the last time I wore them 15 lbs ago, I swear my clothes are tighter and tighter even though I'm pretty steadily losing. I feel like I'm going to suffocate.


I was like this even at 128 too, and I dunno sometimes I don't know if I'll ever even notice if I'm thin enough. Does anyone else's body dysmorphia fuck them up like this?

---

[Rant/Rave] My wedding dress was supposed to get here in August. It's here now.
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 117 | 18.26 | -53 | F | GW 115 | UGW 108?]
Created: Wed Jun 15 19:39:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oaxh1/my_wedding_dress_was_supposed_to_get_here_in/
---
I was not prepared for this. I still have 10 lbs at least to lose. I thought I had plenty of time, was even thinking of maybe relaxing a bit so I get out of the heavy restrict and binge cycle that has driven me nuts and made progress so slow. I could be slow but saner maybe?

Seriously I hate alcohol I would be so much further without this problem.

But anyway, August, I DEFINITELY can be at my goal weight by then, it's really far away, easy. I'll be there before then.

But no, it's here two months early. I know I don't have to do alterations right away. I can still wait until August, or earlier once I get to my goal weight.

But man, only reason I tried on dresses so soon and ordered was because they said it would take like 5-8 months. It took two...I could have ordered when I was smaller so there would be less alterations needed... I've already lost 10 lbs since then...

And I was finally a little calm this week. I don't know why, but all my voices were *mostly* quiet or I could ignore them and I haven't weighed myself since Monday (lol two days.. And I EC stack+laxative+fasted not including booze Sunday -- progress is progress! But maybe it was just fear).

And now I want to fast until Monday (booze excluded because I have a problem). If I didn't have responsibilities I think I would just drink and not eat and pass out until I was skinny.

Just. I'm tired.

---

[Discussion] Discussion
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 15 19:23:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oav1l/discussion/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] For when you feel like binging: a list of thinspo films and documentaries
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 19:18:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oauck/for_when_you_feel_like_binging_a_list_of_thinspo/
---
- Thin (2006 Documentary)

- Starving in Suburbia

- The Truth About Size Zero (Documentary)

- Black Swan

- Hunger Point

- Girl Model (Documentary)

- Supersized vs Superskinny (TV Series)

- Skins (TV Series)

Add your favs below!

---

[Help] UGW by August?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 15 19:05:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oas7v/ugw_by_august/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] I just served my boyfriend a dinner that is more than my daily allowed calories because I didn't want to binge eat it all
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 18:48:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oapjy/i_just_served_my_boyfriend_a_dinner_that_is_more/
---
I was thinking about skipping dinner tonight because my bf wasn't in a good mood and he doesn't pay as much attention when he's like that, but then he asked about dinner and since I'm the main cook I of course offered to make something. All day I had been thinking about peanut sesame noodles so I found an easy recipe online and got to work (Ronzoni 150 Pasta for the win btw). I put the whole thing together and then put the recipe into MFP and realized that just 1/4 of the pot was 465 calories, but it was *really* tasty. So I took 1/4 of the bowl and gave him the rest... that's 1395 calories. I only eat a max of 1200 calories per day and he's been mentioning not being happy with his weight either but I still gave it to him. Does anyone else do this? It feels like I'm saving myself but in reality I know I'm sabotaging him because he has no idea and wouldn't even suspect it being that high. He has no motivation to count calories or go to the gym with me but complains about being fat and not fitting into his old clothes. Part of me wishes he would pay more attention so that I'd have a weight loss buddy but the other part of me worries that if he pays more attention he'll realize how little I'm actually eating.

---

New to Reddit. Suggestions for other pro Ana/bonespo subs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 15 17:57:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oahmm/new_to_reddit_suggestions_for_other_pro/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] Doesn't take much
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 17:35:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oae9o/doesnt_take_much/
---
Seriously after losing 52 lbs and being at normal bmi it doesn't take much for me to get tipsy now. 2 vodka and diet cranberries and I feel very nice. I already know that with 500 calories consumed I'm gonna need lots of water but I like being tipsy. It's very freeing In an absolutely unfreeing world of ED. Tomorrow should be fun lol.

---

[Other] Sometimes bugs are friends!
/u/CosmetologistToBe [5' 7" | 116 lbs | 18.17 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 17:22:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oac9r/sometimes_bugs_are_friends/
---
It's that time of the month (yayyyyy bloating and cravings) and my husband buys me chocolate every time. I can't help but eat it because it's impossible during this time due to my intense cravings.

Today I went to work with my wrapping of insta fat to thighs and when I opened it up this HUGE nasty bug crawled out! Oh my god I can't describe the disgust I went through. The whole thing went in the trash.

Thanks dude for getting rid of that insta fat to thighs for me!

---

[Rant/Rave] I made a whole freakin cake and had half a slice
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 119 | 20.4 | -0 | 20F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 16:49:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4oa6yw/i_made_a_whole_freakin_cake_and_had_half_a_slice/
---
why did i waste so much food?? what is wrong with me?? please someone tell me you do this too

---

[Intro] I don't know why I'm posting here, but support is welcome and appreciated. So I guess this is my intro into a sub I've been lurking on for a few weeks.
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 125 | GW 120 | BMI 20ish | -25 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 15:41:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o9ur6/i_dont_know_why_im_posting_here_but_support_is/
---
This is one of the few places that I feel like I actually fit in. I don't have a diagnosed eating disorder but due to several hardships and emotional traumas in the past couldn't years I've been taking it out of my body, both physically and mentally. Self harm has been a prevalent problem for over a decade, though through my teen years it has worsened to the point of having too many scars to count, some faded to white, some to pink and others to bright purple. I have hundreds, some visible and some faded. But the past several months my eating habits (the bad ones) have began to spiral out of control, ultimately l outweighing my desire to self harm, as in cut burn, etcetera. Every day I obsess about food. But the only reliefs are coming here and reading your stories, or abusing the Xanax I'm prescribed once a month and getting ahold of my moms adavan. I feel so lost and desperate for this spiral to end. The good news is, though, that I'm going for a mental health assessment in a week to possibly get into a program that may benefit my unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Again, sorry for the rant. But as someone that is still dying to lose weight and is seeking any and all kinds of support, you guys and gals rock. I wish all the best you to and hope that we can all find the courage and self-acceptance to--someday-- learn to love ourselves. Thanks for listening to my rant. Also, obligatory first post here and I am extremely high so spelling errors must be everywhere. Thank you, all of you for your support and tips/suggestions/stories. Much love to you all <3

---

[Help] Stopped eating and am okay with it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 15 15:00:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o9n1s/stopped_eating_and_am_okay_with_it/
---
[removed]

---

[Other] when your life spirals out of control
/u/Myuuji [169 | 51.6 | 18.07 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 14:33:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o9hxp/when_your_life_spirals_out_of_control/
---
and youre eating chocolate while reading this subreddit, and you want to stop but its too late now, so you keep telling yourself tomorrow is a new day but I am not looking forward to the scale tomorrow.

---

[Help] How can I increase my stamina in a limited amount of time?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 15 14:15:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o9ecc/how_can_i_increase_my_stamina_in_a_limited_amount/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] My husband is awesome!
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 12:48:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o8xkh/my_husband_is_awesome/
---
He has decided he wants to lose weight and join the gym! (He doesn't necessarily need to, but he is a junk-food-aholic) He is so regimented and has really awesome will power so with him off the junk food and being healthy will make my life so much easier!

I have someone to help me lose weight and hopefully in more of a healthy way!!

Yay!!

---

[Intro] I have a weird hobby.
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 12:36:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o8v21/i_have_a_weird_hobby/
---
Hey everyone, I'm kinda new here. (Used to frequent on another account. Quit, and now I'm relapsing, I suppose.) I'm 'match', if you wanna call me anything.

Anyway, my weird hobby is this: I like looking up height and weight stats of female celebrities and comparing mine with theirs.

For example, Emilia Clarke (Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones) is around 5'2" and 115lbs. BMI: 21.96.

Megan Fox - 5'4" / 107lbs - BMI: 18.60

Kendall Jenner - 5'10" / 130lbs - BMI: 18.13

Stuff like that. I'd probably do models too, if I wanted to hate myself a bit more than usual lol. It's actually a different method of thinspo, but it's more fun for me than staring at pictures.

PS - no flair yet, because I'm on mobile. Will flair as soon as I get to a computer.

---

[Rant/Rave] Trying to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to gain weight over the next four days.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Jun 15 12:28:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o8ton/trying_to_come_to_terms_with_the_fact_that_im/
---
Been binging the last week thanks to PMS.

Now going to my SO's sister's house for a four day weekend. No scale + no safe food + stress of meeting his family = a lot of eating

I was 110 last week, now I'm 116.

By the end of this week, I expect to be about another 6 pounds heavy.

FML

---

[Discussion] How much do you guys normally exercise?
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 155 | 21.68 | -27 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 11:54:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o8mzs/how_much_do_you_guys_normally_exercise/
---
Just curious on how much and what type of exercise you guys do everyday, especially compared to your calorie intake.

---

[Other] Getting weighed at the doctors
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Wed Jun 15 11:43:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o8ko2/getting_weighed_at_the_doctors/
---
When I first started going to the doctor I was wearing a heavy winter coat and also was around 120lbs. I lost weight the next time I came in and he said if I lost weight again he would take me off my adderall. So last time I went I wore my 10lb weights and drank a ton of water. I was around 117 I think but ended up weighing 130 on their scale. Now I have to keep up weighing 130. I think I'm going to buy a 20lb strap on weight but man I get nervous that they're going to see it!

---

[Tip] finally a weightloss calculator that accounts for binge days.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 11:36:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o8jb6/finally_a_weightloss_calculator_that_accounts_for/
---
That's what always infuriated me about other weight loss calculators/graphs, they assumed 100% consistent cal intake for X amount of days. Well now this calculator lets you account for binges, as well as compare the amount of binge days and cals per binge.

[Weigh What When](http://weighwhatwhen.com/)

---

[Goal] My husband has no idea I'm going to be anorexic soon
/u/AdloraOfSolitude [5'2 | 109 | 19.9 | -11 lbs UGW: 96 lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Jun 15 11:16:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o8fgr/my_husband_has_no_idea_im_going_to_be_anorexic/
---
I've had ednos for a year now. I hate it. I. want. Anorexia. I want to be the same me I am now, but underweight. I want those hollow cheekbones. I want that thigh gap. I want the collarbones that you can sip wine from. I want to count my ribs. I want it all. And goddamn it I'm going to have it.

My husband is himself on a health kick and therefore all of my ed-related purchases are going unnoticed or even encouraged. I bought several packets of 20-calorie nutrition supplements and fiber powder to put in my tea to stave off hunger pains. I asked him what happens if I start to feel sick from "our" new diet, and since he has no idea I'm going to plan to have 200-500 a day when I'm not fasting, he said, "You might feel sick for a while but you'll get over it." I said, "But what if I can't do it?" and he replied. "Of course you can!" He said, "I'm so proud of you for wanting to get healthy and not be so worried about calories. You're not fat. And if you eat healthy you'll never have to worry about it." Damn right I won't.

I'll never eat again.

Edit: For everyone downvoting me, I have in fact been diagnosed with "an eating disorder" by a therapist. She never told me which one it was so I'm assuming osfed/ednos since I only purge with laxitives, don't binge, and am not underweight (yet). I presume some might think me a poseur or a "wannarexic" for wanting to have a diagnosis of AN, but I'm as real as I know how to be.

---

[Goal] !!
/u/bougainvilleas [5'5.5" | 101 | 16.6 | -11 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 11:14:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o8f2b/_/
---
http://imgur.com/xGEOPcQ

---

[Other] well...shit.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 11:02:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o8cql/wellshit/
---
~me, trying on a beloved maxi dress I haven't worn since before I was pregnant~

husband: are you trying to restyle a maternity dress?

me: ...no?

husband: oh, cause that dress is way too baggy for you.

ಠ_ಠ

Damnit, I really liked that dress too, but he's right. Its all baggy in the waist and chest, and its cut in such a way that I can't cinch it in with a thin belt.

But don't get me wrong, I am THRILLED that size small clothing is unattractively baggy now (even if that means restocking my entire wardrobe and dealing with vanity sizing).

---

[Thinspo] I love before + after side-by-sides!
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 10:11:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o831c/i_love_before_after_sidebysides/
---
http://i.imgur.com/h3uS7RO.jpg

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 15 10:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o81dl/daily_food_diary_june_15_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 15, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] He squashed my freakin bingo wings.
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 143.6 | 24.27 | -17.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 07:47:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o7dvj/he_squashed_my_freakin_bingo_wings/
---
On mobile, sorry no flair as usual.
Last night my SO and I were being intimate and his hand pushed on the bed hard and with it came a little bit of my arm fat. He smashed my freaking arm fat while doing the do. Ugh. I know which day at the gym I won't be skipping as much!

---

[Help] Need some help or a friend?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 15 06:28:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o7201/need_some_help_or_a_friend/
---
[removed]

---

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday June 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 15 06:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o6yl8/way_to_go_wednesday_june_15_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for June 15, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] What other social media sites do you use for ED support/discussion?
/u/Jaaasss [5'3 | 114 | 21.2 | GW 100| F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 05:46:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o6wjy/what_other_social_media_sites_do_you_use_for_ed/
---
This subreddit has been seriously SO amazing and kept me sane, so i'm wondering about what else everyone uses? I'm on my phone a lot during commute and always end up on here, but I'd like to browse other content too! Thank you xxx

---

Twitter ??
/u/sademogirl
Created: Wed Jun 15 04:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o6l2m/twitter/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] my fucking shoulders.
/u/dollveinz
Created: Wed Jun 15 03:44:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o6j5t/my_fucking_shoulders/
---
(this is just a vent post.im sorry.)i have man shoulders. all i ever ever ever wanted to be was pretty and small and a GIRL and no matter how thin i make myself i'll always be ugly&bulky because of shoulders i'm so sad. i didn't even realise until a few weeks ago when i remembered my dad commenting on my "lovely broad shoulders" when i was little and he was right!!! i'd rather die than go on being this ugly. it makes me want to die & i can't look in the mirror without crying+screaming. there's not even a surgery for it. nothing. i don't know how i can even try to go on

---

[Tip] Great site where you can put in your calorie plan with cheat days, both recurring or single (lol binges), to see how it affects your weight loss. Nice bit of sanity and peace of mind.
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 03:43:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o6j2a/great_site_where_you_can_put_in_your_calorie_plan/
---
http://weighwhatwhen.com/dashboard/about

---

[Discussion] How does your sexual/gender orientation influence your ED?
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 142 | 24.4 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 02:24:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o6bcm/how_does_your_sexualgender_orientation_influence/
---
I was just wondering if any of you were also part of the LGBT+ community, and if you thought that you sexual/gender identity played into your eating disorder at all?

For me I've been noticing that when there's stress regarding my sexuality (I'm a lesbian and my mother knows but doesn't accept it. She claims to not be homophobic, but always acts disgusted whenever anything LGBT is brought up) my disordered behaviour tends to flare up. It does tend to flare up in times of stress, but particularly with this kind of thing.

I also tend to present femininely but lately I've been playing around with gender expression dressing in a more masculine way. I've found myself very uncomfortable presenting in this way, mainly because I feel like my body doesn't fit how I'd like it to in those kinds of clothes. It's not a huge deal as I do really enjoy skirts/dresses and what not, but it's just been something I've been thinking about.

I'd love to hear about any of your experiences with any of this kind of thing :)

---

[Thinspo] Lily Collins - That waist! Those arms! [xpost from /r/gentlemanboners]
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 15 02:11:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o6a7q/lily_collins_that_waist_those_arms_xpost_from/
---
http://i.imgur.com/fwJK8FL.jpg

---

[Help] What do you do when you're so hungry you feel like vomiting?
/u/giveyokoachance [5'5 | 120 | 20.2 | -15 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 21:23:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o5cl6/what_do_you_do_when_youre_so_hungry_you_feel_like/
---
I just googled this and it turns out this happens because your blood sugar is low and there's excess acid in your stomach. Anyway, it always pisses me off so much because I'll be doing so well with my restricting and then BOOM I feel like absolute shit and have to run around the kitchen dry heaving and trying to find anything I can eat instantly. Does anyone have any tips on how to avoid this without eating (for when I'm trying to fast), or any emergency snacks I can eat without killing my calorie goal?

P.S. Sorry I can't flair this, I'm on mobile 😝

---

[Rant/Rave] 1400 calories a day
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 20:14:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o52mq/1400_calories_a_day/
---
So, since I am half attempting to nip this relapse in the bud, I, with the encouragement from my therapist and boyfriend, have eaten ~1400 calories a day for the past few days. It's so fucking easy compared to 800. I almost can't believe it. But I guess it's a healthy amount of calories, so of course it's a lot easier. I still count calories and weigh myself a lot and do intermittent fasting and *try* to eat less, but I let myself eat more if I want, and 1400 seems like a really good amount. I'll lose weight slowly since my tdee is ~1600, but it's fucking easy to maintain. I guess I'm kind of recovering then? Idek. I still like I'm in the restricting mindset. I'm just eating more. It's weird.

---

[Discussion] What is you ideal persona for when you reach your goal weight?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 20:06:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o51bm/what_is_you_ideal_persona_for_when_you_reach_your/
---
I don't know if thats the right term, but the recent binge prevention technique about imagining your dream body has me wondering what you all want other people to see you as when you reach your UGW.

For example, I want to be a boho/grunge looking chick. I want to look like the kind of person who enjoys rainy days. The kind of person who sketches in a journal and writes poetry. The girl that eats only an 80 cal yogurt and feels full for hours. The one who can drink a cup of coffee and then not eat for the rest of the day simply because she doesn't want to. She's lithe and graceful and beautiful, yet she looks tired and mysterious.

This is a complete jumbled mess of ideas and probably sounds stupid and cliché as hell, but this is kind of how I want to be in some way... What about you all?

---

[Discussion] I don't know if anyone else here is a buzzfeed fan but they uploaded this yesterday and I thought it was beautiful.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Tue Jun 14 18:19:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o4l5m/i_dont_know_if_anyone_else_here_is_a_buzzfeed_fan/
---
https://youtu.be/UcN9AJIE2Po

---

[Rant/Rave] I didn't buy binge food.
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 17:56:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o4hpw/i_didnt_buy_binge_food/
---
I got off work early today and had an hour to kill before I was meeting a guy for coffee. I have been fasting since yesterday evening, I figured I could just get a little something... Though I'm pretty broke right now and I knew that thing was going to be French fries. I knew it. I started walking and while I was approaching the mall food court I was screaming at myself "ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS KEEP WALKING. IT'S SO EASY. JUST WALK." and for once I actually LISTENED TO MYSELF and I didn't do it. I've been sitting on a bench outside the mall perusing this sub for an hour. I am feeling pretty dern proud at the moment. French fries have been downstairs and I completely ignored them this whole time.

---

[Goal] [NSV] I'm freezing
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 102.9 lb | 19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 17:04:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o498a/nsv_im_freezing/
---
So basically, it's been a while. I went to Italy for a month, carbed it up, regretti'd all the spaghetti (and wine oh god) and gained god knows how much weight. Last time I weighed myself was for luggage purposes and it was midday, clothes on, right before my period, and basically my weight was so high I cried for 2 hours and purged an apple.


I probably overreacted a little, but I got back to the states and wasted no time starting restricting with keto (totally recommend btw, it's so easy to have a low intake when you virtually remove carbs). It's been a week and even though I'm still too scared to weigh myself again (maybe ever again), it's 90 degrees outside and 72 inside and I am absolutely freezing. Goddamn I forgot how satisfying this is. Cheers

---

[Rant/Rave] So ashamed
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 13:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o31p9/so_ashamed/
---
So all my positive attitude went out the window this evening. I was just so fucking hungry. I ate roughly 1200 calories in 20 minutes, bringing my total for the day to almost 1800. I blame the weekend eating, I was having residual cravings. But then I decided it would be okay if I could purge. I went to the bathroom and spent over 10 minutes with my fingers down my throat and I couldn't make myself be sick. It has been months since I've purged and I guess I can't do it as easily as I used to. I was just sobbing for ages. I'm a fucking mess.

A friend told me I looked skinny today - what a fucking joke.

That's IT I can't let this spiral. I'm not going to let this take over. I've decided the only way to do it is not to try and punish myself too harshly. Maybe eat 1200 calories tomorrow then drop to 1000 then 800 rather than trying to go immediately back to 800??

I don't know. All I know is that I'm a fucking joke. My friends are all buying houses and having babies and I'm just crying because I can't purge.

I should have checked this sub before eating as I know it would have helped me. Stupid.

Sorry for venting I just needed to get it out

---

[Tip] [Food Find] Tasy Bite microwaveable pouches. Indian/ Thai meals from 200-300 calories
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 12:53:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o2zw8/food_find_tasy_bite_microwaveable_pouches_indian/
---
[TasyBite](http://tastybite.com/product_type/indian-entrees/)

I'm on the tall-ish side, so I try to keep my daily goal around 0900-1000 calories. Any less and I am a hopeless binger, any more and I don't lose weight. So I often have a 300 calorie meal at some point, ussually dinner when I have to keep up appearances.

I'm hooked on Tasty Bite pouches and so glad I found a store that constantly stocks them (Publix).

I stay away from the asian ones, one of the Thai ones isn't too bad but most of those are 400 calories or more.

but the Indian ones (curry, marsala, etc) are normally somewhere between 200-350 calories. Most of them are also gluten-free and vegetarian/vegan. They suggest serving over rice but I never do, I just nuke it and pour it in a bowl and chow down. Its pretty filling and delicious so it makes me feel like Im indulging.

I suppose if your calorie budget is less than mine, you could always split the pouches as they are two servings, and have a small entree for about 100-150 and maybe a small side salad or veggies. -looks like a full meal, only about 200 calories total depending on how you do your salads.

I like the idea of using these for dinners, since it looks like a calorie dense food but is still rather healthy, so it will look like Im eating like a normal person :p

---

[Thinspo] Lily Collins - That waist! Those arms! [xpost from /r/gentlemanboners]
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 12:50:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o2zbz/lily_collins_that_waist_those_arms_xpost_from/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/gentlemanboners/comments/4o0p8p/lily_collins/

---

[Other] A different kind of breakfast
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 11:59:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o2pqz/a_different_kind_of_breakfast/
---
http://imgur.com/7zmcw1b

---

[Tip] [X-post from this sub] Essentially my "tip" from my therapist (when an obsessive thought comes up, imagine a fantasy for 20 seconds)
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 11:37:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o2lps/xpost_from_this_sub_essentially_my_tip_from_my/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o21w5/this_is_going_to_sound_very_clich%C3%A9d_but/

---

[Thinspo] I'm not a reverse thinspo type, but. Oh gosh
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Jun 14 11:00:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o2eh3/im_not_a_reverse_thinspo_type_but_oh_gosh/
---
https://youtu.be/lanAkRH2cjw

---

[Thinspo] Some Kpop thinspiration. These girls got me into Kpop and are seriously the cutest people I've ever seen.
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 10:31:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o292s/some_kpop_thinspiration_these_girls_got_me_into/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxZvLRPF2j0

---

[Discussion] A calorie is a calorie?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 14 10:19:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o26uu/a_calorie_is_a_calorie/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 14 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o23r2/daily_food_diary_june_14_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 14, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Best low calorie meals that don't look it?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 09:55:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o22kv/best_low_calorie_meals_that_dont_look_it/
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I don't live alone so most nights skipping dinner would be a big red flag as my SO knows about my disordered eating past and thinks I'm still recovered rather than it still being a part of my life. I've checked out different low cal subreddits and then thought I'd ask the experts. What's your best low calorie meal that looks "normal" or high calorie to those who don't know calorie counts? Or in other words, best low calorie/high volume meal?

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[Intro] 66 hours into a fast, woot!
/u/FasterFasting [5' 6" | 168 | BMI | M]
Created: Tue Jun 14 09:52:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o21xb/66_hours_into_a_fast_woot/
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Haven't posted here before although I've been a lurker for months. Not too interesting of a backstory, just a regular guy in his 20's who has been 30-40 lbs overweight since high school. Which isn't a great look when you're only 5'7" to begin with.

I don't have an eating disorder per se but I'll usually do a zero calorie fast 6-7 days out of the month (only a couple days consecutively) and then binge the few days before and after. With the result that I've maintained the same weight forever, but I almost never eat a regular (for my size) 1800-2000 calories a day.

I actually found this place through /r/fasting a while back, and they're great, but I definitely feel more at home here than any of the other weight loss subs.

Anyway, I'm about 66 hours into a strict fast (well excepting black coffee and unfiltered cigarettes) and I guess I'm mostly posting here for some accountability to myself. Honestly, there is no reason I can't extend this to 7 days or longer. Or at the very least that when I give in it will be to vegetables and real food instead of the double cheeseburger I normally choose.

Right?

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[Other] This is going to sound very clichéd, but...
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 09:52:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o21w5/this_is_going_to_sound_very_clichéd_but/
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Lately when I'm having thoughts about chewing and spitting, eating junk food, going over my goal, or anything shitty like that, I picture a skinny version of me. She's in cute heels, perfect dark skinny jeans, and a flowy top showing off all the beautiful bones in her chest (clavicles, shoulder knobs, sternum, ribs...everything accentuated and visible) and her hair has finally grown out and stopped looking so scrappy. She has tiny legs you can wrap your hands around, she doesn't make huge stomping noises when she walks--and most importantly. Nothing on her jiggles.

If I even think about binging, I imagine ugw me, looking at me and shaking her head, muttering 'tsk tsk'. Every time I binge, I'm basically looking ugw me up and down, and saying "no thanks". I'm picking shitty, greasy, carby food over her. And I don't want that food, I want her, I want to BE her.

I realize that yeah, this is super cliche sounding. I feel like a cheesey stereotypical high schooler right now out of some YAF book, and I'm not proud. But it's kind of a guilty pleasure I guess; it helps keep me directly motivated on my goals. Even if it does sound cliche as fuck.

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[Goal] Goal: I went down two BMI points (?), and it's all thanks to everyone on this sub.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 14 09:40:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o1zt6/goal_i_went_down_two_bmi_points_and_its_all/
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When I first started lurking around this place, I started to loose weight. I was at 155 pounds at my highest. Unhealthy. Overweight. Then, once I started to post, it spurred my weight loss and here I am - two BMI points down from my highest.

24.0. My first BMI goal.

All because of YOU.

I love every single last fucking one of you, and I hope all of you reach your goals and live a long, happy life.

Now to get to an underweight BMI ;)

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[Rant/Rave] All in my head
/u/mommytummy
Created: Tue Jun 14 09:15:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o1v7p/all_in_my_head/
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So I had been freaking out for a while. For whatever reason I thought I must have gained a ton of weight. I thought I could see it in the mirror, in my mind it made no sense that my clothes still fit and some times I even thought they felt uncomfortable. Also because of this fear of weight gain I had not weighed myself for over a week.

This morning I thought I had to put an end to it. It was time to step on that scale, put a number on the damage done and get to work. I step on the scale without my glasses, the number locks, bending out to check I see... a lower number! How is this even possible? I am so sure that some weight gain had happened, I still see it.

At least now I have a slightly more positive motivation to keep on keepin' on. 10 more lbs by August if my doctor doesn’t give me too much of a hard time. Brains are such a mystery....

Have a good day everyone, even if yesterday wasn't good, you can make today a better day for yourself!!

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[Other] I might have a job soon!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 08:49:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o1qrf/i_might_have_a_job_soon/
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Hey everyone! I got accepted on the spot for a part time job at a well known American department store during my interview on Sunday (which is hilarious because I have two interviews scheduled for today). I told them I was still waiting on some other offers but I'm still excited about the possibility of working there. So, worst case scenario I work at the department store, best case scenario I work at the office supply store (which has been my dream summer job since I started back to school shopping, I just love office supplies, they're so great).

Anyway, enough backstory, point is I'm going to have a job this summer and I have a few questions about joining the workforce. What is it like working in retail (either with an ED or just in general)? What things (food, small equipment, supplements) should I buy? Do you have any other tips and tricks? I am 17 years old, still live with my parents, don't have much room for anything bulky or too suspicious.

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[Discussion] Does anyone know of any zero cal coffee energy drinks?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 07:21:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o1cul/does_anyone_know_of_any_zero_cal_coffee_energy/
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I like to replace meals with energy drinks sometimes. For lunch, my usually replacement is the zero carb zero calorie rockstar energy drink, but I really REALLY want to find a good zero calorie coffee drink for breakfasts...

Does anyone know of any or am I doomed to dream?

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[Tip] Its NOT all in my head. I wasnt accounting for an ASTRONIMICAL increase in calorie intake!
/u/spacecadetjulliette
Created: Tue Jun 14 06:47:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o181r/its_not_all_in_my_head_i_wasnt_accounting_for_an/
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Ive been living in europe the past month, and as a proud american, I would like to say american milk sucks.
So at home, I drink maybe a cup of coconut almond milk a day (60 cals) >europe> now consuming almost a liter of whole milk a day, because the milk here is really delicious, and thats 640 calories. And milk is a pure lipid so all ive done is swell my fat cells. So now I understand WHY it proves its NOT all in my head! Now I just have to avoid milk and im golden!!!
It should have been more obvious lol. Just proud.

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[Other] I see a lot of these posts over on r/food...so: A traditional anorexic breakfast
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 06:47:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o17zt/i_see_a_lot_of_these_posts_over_on_rfoodso_a/
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http://imgur.com/RAQDPoM

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[Discussion] thoughts on fat acceptance?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Tue Jun 14 06:04:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o12i7/thoughts_on_fat_acceptance/
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I always browse subreddits like r/fatlogic and recently, stuff has come up about banning 'body shaming' adverts in the UK. Do you guys think it's a good or a bad idea?

Personally, I know that at least part of the reason that I struggle with food is because of what I've seen in the media, and as much as I hate the phrase, I completely believe that 'body shaming' is an issue. Thoughts?

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A June 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 14 06:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o1278/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_june_14_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Thinspo] came on my spotify this morning // musical motivation
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 119 | 20.4 | -0 | 20F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 05:18:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o0x6x/came_on_my_spotify_this_morning_musical_motivation/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhK8Ehv6aPI

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[Tip] Tiny exercises to do throughout the day
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 14 04:07:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o0pv5/tiny_exercises_to_do_throughout_the_day/
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I've been getting more and more into fitness and while I would love to spend more time at the gym, the life of a student isn't really conducive to that. So I've been adding little exercises throughout my day to help get me out of my chair and to burn extra calories. Bonus: it's a good distraction while restricting.

* 10 shoulder raises, 10 triceps extensions, 10 bicep curls with 3 kg weights for every hour of Netflix (I need to be better about doing these :/)

* 10 push-ups (shooting for 100 a day), 10 tricep dips (thanks /u/smokesanddietcokes) every hour

* 250 steps every hour (fitbit goal)

* 30 second plank every half hour (I'll probably start increasing this one soon)

I would love to hear any other exercises you guys do. I'm mostly looking to work my muscles since I have the cardio covered with running.

Edit: shout out to /r/bodyweightfitness if you need ideas/inspiration

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[Rant/Rave] Anyone else hate drinking water on an empty stomach?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 14 02:15:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o0fgi/anyone_else_hate_drinking_water_on_an_empty/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] cute tiny skirt!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 14 01:12:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4o09dq/cute_tiny_skirt/
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A year ago i got a super duper cute skirt from the thrift store, a size small. At the time, I was a size large at the time. Even when it was unzipped, I couldn't get it up passed my knees.
Fast forward 6 months, I was able to wiggle it up mid thigh, un zipped.
Yesterday.. I was able to put it on, and just barely able to zip it up. Hella muffin top, and I didnt trust the zipper but I GOT THAT SUCKER ON! i wore nothing but this cute skirt around the house. I danced with my cat and wiggled my butt.

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[Other] I want to sleep with my therapist (girl talk, not that important)
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 23:04:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nzv1h/i_want_to_sleep_with_my_therapist_girl_talk_not/
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I have never ever had any sort of "sexual" fantasy before, I consider myself very nonsexual actually, but damn. This man is probably late 30s & a dad, but he's super hot: tan, great hair, tall, ugh, literally perfect. Sometimes I can just picture it happening and it's great.

I know it will never happen, he thinks I'm fucked up and I AM his patient, but a girl can dream...

Thanks y'all for reading if you did. I've been lurking around and commenting on a few things, but this is my first ever post. It's nice to have a place to talk. Cheers xx

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[Rant/Rave] "You look like you grew into yourself!"
/u/ilovepugs_ [5'6 1/2" | 149.2 | 23.7 | -4.8 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 22:30:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nzquy/you_look_like_you_grew_into_yourself/
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So because I have no sense of self control, I have gained close to 15-20 lbs in the last year. I recently went on the other side of the country, and all my friends are telling me I look like I "grew" into myself and I look more womanly.
I HATE how I look :'(
My cheeks are so chubby now.
My legs look like cottage cheese.
I look greasy and disgusting.
I tried to go back to light restricting and I can't even do that right!!

People are telling me they'd kill for my body, but I DON'T see it. I just can't understand what they want. I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging about whatever the fuck, but I sincerely can not see what's so great or beautiful about me.
I looked like an overstuffed sausage.
My friend took a picture of me the other day and sent it to me and...wow. I look huge :-(

I'm so sorry about this, but like I'm crying about how huge I've gotten. I also feel pretty lonely and I'm gonna be on my own for at least another month and half. I feel like I've hit rock bottom.
And I can't flair this cause I'm on mobile, sorry :'(

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I had a life changing realization today for overcoming my severe depression because of my ED, by starting a catering business.
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 143.6 | 24.27 | -17.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 21:52:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nzltc/i_had_a_life_changing_realization_today_for/
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Sorry for no flair, on mobile.
I'm a chef. I work for a fine dining restaurant and have been a baker, prep cook, line cook, dishwasher, and have recently started catering for small events my SO puts on. I realized this is what I can do and be able to run it professionally from my kitchen at home. It's gonna be a lot of work but I have this as a 6 month goal.
Today I've rearranged my entire kitchen and deep cleaned it, also painted a spot in my condo. I normally have no energy at all because of my deep depression I'm in. EC stack because I'm restricting as much as possible without bingeing. I want to work from home so I stop being around other people who are noticing my weight loss and always trying to make me eat something. I'm the high end of normal for my BMI right now, like wtf is wrong with them! I can avoid having anyone notice I don't eat because I'm constantly around food it seems normal I would have eaten too, right?
I'm the happiest ever right now, thanks to my ED. Thanks for reading my rant.

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[Other] I'm Starving
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 13 21:22:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nzhnm/im_starving/
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[deleted]

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[Help] I'm getting nervous
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 13 20:35:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nzafh/im_getting_nervous/
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[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] It's 1 am
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Jun 13 17:07:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nyela/its_1_am/
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I'm crying in bed after doing 100 squats, still only seeing fat thighs.

Need. To. Do. More.

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[Rant/Rave] Thank you, person who took my trash bag [Rave]
/u/whiimsii
Created: Mon Jun 13 16:31:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ny8tx/thank_you_person_who_took_my_trash_bag_rave/
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So yesterday I had a moment of weakness and bought a ton of binge food among which were an apple pie and a strawberry cheesecake.

I ate some of the other foods I bought but only took a bite of the apple pie and cheesecake before I decided to quickly bin them and take the trash outside to get them out of reach.

This evening when I arrived back home from work, the trash bag was still where I'd left it yesterday. Upon noticing this fact, my fasted brain (hadn't eaten all day) was very quick to remember about the delicious sweeties I'd trashed the day before.

I was good, went inside and had my planned dinner which left me very physically satisfied except... thoughts of that god damned cheesecake were still mentally tormenting me. I don't even like cheesecake that much but I just couldn't get that stupid cheesecake out of my fucking mind all night. It was pretty much torture, I haven't craved something so badly in a long time.

I had never gone out and dug stuff out of the trash before. But I resigned to the fact that I was going to do it tonight. The pull of the almighty cheesecake was simply too strong for me to resist. I resigned to the fact that Yes I have hit rock bottom and Yes I am a weak and pitiful addict, Yes I'm gonna tear this trash bag open with my bare claws and eat its contents right now!! Lol.

The decision had been made (obviously in very logical, level-headed fashion). As I emerged from my flat, I defeatedly glanced towards the collective pile of trash bags produced by our house, expecting to see it there, the enemy, my discarded trash bag staring back at me, with a melted disgusting cheesecake at its bottom. BUT INSTEAD, WHAT DO MY SWEET, SWEET EYES SEE??... All the fucking trash bags are there EXCEPT mine!
Yes ladies and gents... That trash bag had been there just a few hours ago but now it was... GONE?

I could not believe my damned eyes. Why was it only my trash that was gone? Was my hungry brain hallucinating when I came back this evening, had the bag really never been there? So many questions and so many emotions washed over me. Lol. I'll admit my initial reaction was disappointment. The build up to this moment had been so intense, there was so much anticipation, I was actually *looking forward* to eating this disgusting cheesecake that I'd trashed more than 24 hours ago, that I actually felt disappointment at the fact it was now gone.

Of course, I came back to my senses quickly thereafter and did a happy dance for the fact my perfect day was not ruined by a stupid dessert. I am now pleasantly empty and ready to go to bed and oh so happy.

Whatever the magical circumstances that made my trash bag disappear in that 5 hour interval were, I'll take it as a sign. The Universe or Jesus or the gods want me to get myself together. Thank you, gods and Universe and Jesus. Thank you even more, homeless person who probably stole my trash. You truly saved my day. And I hope you very thoroughly enjoyed that cheesecake.

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[Rant/Rave] relaxing standards, realizing limitations, and hating it all.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 16:08:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ny4zd/relaxing_standards_realizing_limitations_and/
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My original goal was to be 110lbs by babyman's first birthday (6/18). Well with the way I've been bingeing, I'll be happy to just stay under 115lbs. =/

So new goal was 110lbs by July 1st, however, that's two weeks away, and that's A LOT of restriction. I simply can't do it; I need energy for work/mommying/wifeing and babyman's birthday is going to involve cupcakes and a picnic lunch. I sure as hell can't restrict around both grandmas and invited guests.

So new goal, 110lbs by my birthday in August. According to losertown its doable, IF I eat a set amount of calories EVERYDAY.

but god damnit! life gets in the way! Like babyman's birthday and my aunt's 50th birthday/family reunion.

Like I have no problem sticking to my cal limit during the week (and if I put in the effort, on the weekends as well). Life is regimented, and I can control what I'm eating 80% to 90% of the time. But fuck its so hard to stick to a set cal limit when you're expected to celebrate, feast, and gorge with others in a social setting. Sure, sure, I can restrict before and after said events to make up for feasting, but that's such a tricky proposition that can send me spiraling into a binge if I'm not extremely careful. I know myself (been at this for 15+ years), and honestly after a celebratory feast I have to get back to my normal cal limit. I can't compensate and eat sub 1200 cals, I just don't work that way.

Which brings me back to my annoyance; to reach my goal of 110 lbs by mid august, I must eat X amount of cals every fucking day.

I know I'm over thinking this, but...its like a thorn in my side. Knowing what I have to do to reach my goal, yet being hamstrung by life and mental/physical limitations.

Fuck you ED, for making me so concerned with this shit.

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[Goal] I met someone amazing...
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Jun 13 14:59:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nxsxq/i_met_someone_amazing/
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I've been MIA for a while, struggling with a horrible binge cycle after a string of failed dating attempts that left me feeling worthless. But I've met someone amazing. He makes me feel safe. And I want to be what he deserves. Restricting is so much easier when I think about him seeing me naked. We were playing around, seeing how far we could suck in our stomachs and when I did it, he said "wow" in a way that I knew meant "wow you look good like that." I know he didn't mean to say it with that inflection and it'd probably horrify him to know that it triggered me restricting, but it's what I needed to hear.

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[Other] I don't know what to do anymore
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Jun 13 14:20:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nxlrk/i_dont_know_what_to_do_anymore/
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I can't seem to motivate myself anymore to work out, to restrict. I've gained back 12 fucking pounds from my lowest weight 1,5 month ago. I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate my body. The walls my ED build for me don't seem to be there anymore and I'm lonely and scared.

I feel so ugly, I feel so fucking fat. I don't know how to do it anymore.

I just want to have my ED back, cuddle it and keep it close forever. It's my safe haven and it's letting me down too.

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[Other] 4 Days fast
/u/running_pear
Created: Mon Jun 13 14:14:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nxkrt/4_days_fast/
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I feel like crap.

In February I finally managed to reach my ultimate goal weight (43 kg) and I was happy with how I looked for the first time in my life!

But then shit happened (my uncle was seriously ill, my granny died and my sister had a dangerous surgery) and I just binged day after day after day...I binged so much that now I'm back where I started and I look awful

But starting tomorrow I'll be alone for 4 whole days! I want to fast for the whole time so I'm writing here to make myself accountable (?)
Sorry English is not my first language - basically I'll be less tempted to give up if I tell my intentions to someone and there's no one I can talk to about this fast...

So! I'm really excited! It's not my first fast but feel free to share tour best tips and suggestions!

And thank you for reading <3

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[Help] Traveling with EC stack?
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 139.6lb | 20.59/20.89 | -13.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 13:17:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nxa4r/traveling_with_ec_stack/
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I'm going to china soon and was wondering what the protocol was on medication. Do you guys know if I can bring bronkaid and caffeine pills with me or if they'll be confiscated? I tried looking up but it was unclear to me :(

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[Other] Wish me luck
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 124.4lbs | 19.42 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 11:53:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nwuaz/wish_me_luck/
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I have an active, intense, all-day summer job. I fly out tomorrow, I come back mid september. I always, always lose weight (been doing it for many years). Last year was eh, but this year I have ephedrine. I have enough for the BF and I both to take a couple pills per day and still have a few left over, so I think the stocks are sufficient. It's hard to eat well (grocery stores never closer than a half hour walk, tiny fridge, only a barbeque for cooking on) but I have a better plan than I've ever had. I am bringing my running shoes. I have confidence that this year is the year. I am 25. I weigh 125 lbs, ish. My goal is 111. I'll see you only sporadically until September (no internet out there) but I'll miss y'all and let you know how it went when I come back.

Be strong, be well, be the person you want to be. <3

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[Rant/Rave] Hilarious text from my apartment complex
/u/merewautt
Created: Mon Jun 13 11:15:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nwnog/hilarious_text_from_my_apartment_complex/
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http://i.imgur.com/uhFCIjJ.png


Because I totally want to eat s'mores in front of everyone in a bikini hahahahahahahaha.

My roommates actually wanted to go to this.. I was just like how... ? Reminds me how fucked up I am, can't even eat in public or go to a pool party like a normal person. I rock.

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[Goal] Completed my first over 24 hour fast!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 13 10:44:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nwi0b/completed_my_first_over_24_hour_fast/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Stomach issues (maybe tmi?)
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 10:10:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nwc5o/stomach_issues_maybe_tmi/
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Basically 2 things

1) I woke up both super nauseated and hungry. Like, if I don't eat I'm gonna just pass out, but everything makes me squeamish. What should eat?

2) I've been lowkey restricting everyday (yay) but now whenever I eat something, doesn't matter what, I get gas. Why is that???

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 13 10:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nwayl/daily_food_diary_june_13_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for June 13, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Help] I need to pick up a good (cheap) multivitamin, any other vitamin recommendations are welcome as well!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 09:48:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nw8k1/i_need_to_pick_up_a_good_cheap_multivitamin_any/
---
My experience with multivitamins in the past is that when I take them without food it makes me nauseous. However I'm restricting pretty hard core these days and I definitely need to get nutrients in. Does anyone have any recommendations?

---

[Other] Why I am happy I ate too much
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 09:23:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nw46y/why_i_am_happy_i_ate_too_much/
---
So this weekend was a hard one for me, I had several social/eating out plans. I managed to counteract a large lunch on Saturday with skipping dinner and going to the gym. But Sunday there was no way around having two big meals and some alcohol. I only had chance to check the dinner venue website to count calories after I had eaten my meal. 850+ for my meal. I almost died of shock. It's more than I have eaten in weeks, since I started restricting again back in April in fact.

But instead of beating myself up I was able to be calm and look at the bright side. I am about to go to NYC and I have been worried about the lack of exercise I will be able to do/the amount of food I might end up eating. But now I have over eaten (i think I had about 2,000 calories total) I have realised just how much I don't enjoy being full anymore. My tummy hurt, I felt sick. It just wasn't worth it. I now feel much better prepared to 'just say no' in America.

Secondly, before I found this sub and I was restricting on my own I would have a binge day (again about 2000 calories) and then if I didn't purge I would see an extra 2-3 lbs on the scale the next day. I didn't understand what was going on and the weight gain made me spiral into days of bad eating. Since finding you amazing people I have got SO much better at understanding how my body works. I know that its water retention or too much salt or something that causes the extra weight and I can't physically gain that much weight from one 2000 calorie day. Which means I don't give up, I drink plenty of water and hop back on the wagon. Also /u/glittercunt has inspired me to take more notice of protein intake and I am working at making sure when I do eat, it's all good, healthy food.

So basically, you guys stop me falling into a pit of self hate and I love ya.

---

[Goal] I have reached my first goal of 125 ;) lowest in 2 years.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 09:19:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nw3h8/i_have_reached_my_first_goal_of_125_lowest_in_2/
---
http://imgur.com/25b9Dhz

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[Goal] Completed my first fast!
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 155 | 21.68 | -27 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 09:17:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nw33t/completed_my_first_fast/
---
I've never even attempted a 24 four hour fast before. But due to recent circumstances I decided yesterday I would. And somehow, incredibly, I did! If count from the last time I ate dinner to when I had to have a yogurt this morning, it was actually 37 hours. I ended up having to eat today because I increased my dosage of a medicine last night and woke up to my system clearing out and I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time if I didn't, and I didn't want my boyfriend questioning me. But still, that's pretty good for a first attempt I think. I'm proud.

---

[Rant/Rave] I was just dumped.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 13 07:43:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nvo8h/i_was_just_dumped/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! June 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 13 06:03:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nvamu/weekly_stats_update_june_13_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for June 13, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] Does anybody here want to whatsapp?
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 13 05:28:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nv6rq/does_anybody_here_want_to_whatsapp/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Bloated and happy. I went to a food market. Do binges ever make you happy afterwards rather than guilty?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Mon Jun 13 03:09:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nutkt/bloated_and_happy_i_went_to_a_food_market_do/
---
For my Sunday binge yesterday, I had the opportunity to go to a huge food market. I spent around £15 on small italian pasties - that's a lot of pastries, because they were cheap.

Hazelnut cream, chocolate cream, icing sugar, pistachio cream, nutella.. filo pastry bursting to the brim with god knows what. Cookie things with almonds. Jesus. *Jesus*.

And the pastries weren't the only thing I ate. I spent around £50 on on food in total, but the other things were more expensive... The pastries made up the bulk of the food.

And I'm telling you, this is the first time I havn't felt guilty after my Sunday binge, because it was really fucking worth it. Usually I enjoy having the food on Sundays, but afterwards I feel so awful.. not today.

I am so bloated. My stomach is so distended. Usually this would make me feel like shit, instead all I can do is look at it and think about what the fucking amazing day I had yesterday surrounded by food. My stomach is tender, it hurts, I'm surprised I'm not dead - or at least feeling more ill. Instead I feel calm, and laughing at the fact that I'm going to go through hell pushing through sugar cravings and crashing. I feel confident that I will manage it though - maybe not manage a fast, but I feel confident that I wont spiral. There are none of the pastries left anyway....

I had so many good noms.

---

[Thinspo] Goals. (x-post from r/UNBGBBIIVCHIDCTIICBG
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Mon Jun 13 01:52:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nun16/goals_xpost_from_runbgbbiivchidctiicbg/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/UNBGBBIIVCHIDCTIICBG/comments/4nqbd5/the_way_her_hair_unrolls/

---

[Help] I've been eating like shit for weeks and I'm hopeless
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 12 23:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nu82h/ive_been_eating_like_shit_for_weeks_and_im/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Mixing EC stacks and Ritalin?
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 22:31:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nu1yb/mixing_ec_stacks_and_ritalin/
---
just wondering if any of you mix the two? technically I'm on concerta but I think it's the same thing? I've been doing the EC stack for a few weeks on and off now but just started on the concerta 3 days ago. thanks lovelies

*edit: since I started the concerta I haven't done an EC stack and I know that concerta is supposed to suppress appetite too but for my so far I haven't noticed that it does.

---

[Help] I only feel pleasure when I eat, see I've lost weight, or am with my boyfriend.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 18:30:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nt51a/i_only_feel_pleasure_when_i_eat_see_ive_lost/
---
Yes, I do have depression. I've had it for a long time. But it hasn't reached a point like this in a while. I'm in therapy, too. I just don't know what to do. Does anyone else here feel little to no pleasure?

I of course don't eat a lot. But I basically just go from meal to meal, not doing much productive in between. And, since I restrict to a relatively high amount, I lose weight slowly and inconsistently. My boyfriend lives an hour away, and I don't want to rely on him for my happiness anyway. I don't know. Does anyone here feel similarly?

---

[Help] Tips for getting a flat stomach without laxatives?
/u/anacondaaorta
Created: Sun Jun 12 18:20:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nt3kc/tips_for_getting_a_flat_stomach_without_laxatives/
---
I've been having a lot of pain when taking laxatives recently, and now without them I feel so bloated. I'm especially bloated since I've been binging all weekend, but what can I do to get a flat stomach again? I've heard about going on a juice/ smoothie cleanse, does that actually work?

---

[Discussion] Advice for epsom salts cleanse
/u/FatUnderThreat [5'6" | 129.8lbs | 20.53 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 17:48:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nsyrd/advice_for_epsom_salts_cleanse/
---
Hi friends! Thinking of going on an epsom  salts cleanse for 24 hours after work tomorrow and I'm off Tuesday  (so I'm "safe" and ready for the "side effects"!!)

Has anyone any advice?  Is 24 hours enough? How many cups of warm epsom salt should i be aiming to drink during this period? Should I fast completely,  or given the potentially large amount of fluid loss should i maybe eat a light meal?

I'd be so happy to hear your experiences or tips :)

---

[Other] "I've been waiting for you to say that."
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 17:45:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nsybc/ive_been_waiting_for_you_to_say_that/
---
Today the scale said 146. I was angry. I was 145 yesterday, but I ate that damn protein bar at 11 while playing the Sims.

I went to donate plasma today. I bought peanuts before hand to snack on so I wouldn't pass out. I passed out out the last night I donated.

I drank 3 cups of water before. Their scaled showed 153. She said , "some weight gain, thats good."

I was 158 a week ago.

My BF and I went to his dad's to swim. The kids had fun. I drank too much and are very little and purged it all.

At home, my BF says he is going to the store. Asks if I need anything.

I says, "water.". I rub my hands over my much thinner thighs. "I need to take care of.......my body."

He says, "I'VE been waiting to hear you say that...I hope you mean it."

I confessed my eating issues to his step mom, who has a degree in psychology. She didn't push the issues, just listened.

He's watched me eat very weird, pass out while cutting his hair, shed 10 pounds in one month.

I think they know.

Yet I have no intention of stopping.

130.

I'll see you there.

---

[Discussion] I feel like a kid on Christmas morning!
/u/rustyrustshackleford [5'5" | CW: 95 | LW: 85 | GW: 80 | -40 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 16:54:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nsqtb/i_feel_like_a_kid_on_christmas_morning/
---
I finally got my hands on some Primatene! First day and I already feel noticeably less hungry, and I've only taken one tablet. I'm worried about it losing its efficacy though, do you guys who take it regularly do it on a cycle? I was thinking 1 week with 1 pill/day, 1 week 2/day, 1 week 3/day, then repeat. Or should I take a week off completely?

---

[Discussion] What you tell yourself to stick with your fasts?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:110/UGW:85 | BMI:22.6 | Weight Lost: -6| Gender:F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 13:27:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nrtgi/what_you_tell_yourself_to_stick_with_your_fasts/
---
So, I don't get my brain. Maybe it's the birth control (or hormonal pills as my parents keep correcting me), maybe it's my poor will power, or maybe I just need things to keep me on track (diet sodas, the ability to like tea, more water). ^maybe ^^it's ^^^maybelline

Like what the title says, "What do you guys tell yourself to stick with your fasts?"

I was able to keep a liquid fast for 3 days because of these two brothers I knew (but of course I fucked it all up). I would see myself in the mirror and that really stopped me, but now I just kinda don't care. It's like I don't wanna gain even more weight, but then I go fucking bananas with what food I do have in the fridge. I'm fucking sick of it, but I can't break the cycle.

---

[Rant/Rave] Breaking my 28 hour fast with a salad:)
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 12:56:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nrohf/breaking_my_28_hour_fast_with_a_salad/
---
My boyfriend and I are about to break up I believe. He bought all of this lettuce that I can't waste so I am breaking my fast with a 35 cal salad. I can't stomach it. I am 126 and one pound away from my first goal and 15 away from my ultimate. I feel the pain in my belly and growling but after three bites I just can't eat it. I feel fat even drinking 0 cal drinks...

Overall I am okay and somewhat happy to not have an appetite. I will just eat it throughout the day.

---

[Discussion] I feel like my eating disorder is the only thing that makes me interesting as a person.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 12 11:34:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nrahc/i_feel_like_my_eating_disorder_is_the_only_thing/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jun 12 10:02:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nqut2/daily_food_diary_june_12_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 12, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] There was a mass shooting at a gay club in my city and I don't weigh enough to donate my O- blood
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 09:50:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nqswc/there_was_a_mass_shooting_at_a_gay_club_in_my/
---
I'm currently 109 and not updating my flair unless I maintain it for at least a month. But yeah. The donation center I've been to says you need to be at least 115.

I feel this really profound guilt. Like I could have helped people who lost blood due to the attack if I wasn't so selfish and thinking about constantly losing weight. And my blood is always in high demand. I'm also really upset about the shooting and can't think of any other way I'd be able to help. I'm in Orlando. I just need to vent.

---

Pic update. Don't have a scale so don't know my weight. Guessing 114.
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 09:01:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nqkya/pic_update_dont_have_a_scale_so_dont_know_my/
---
https://imgur.com/a/QxhBZ

---

[Discussion] Those sighs.[Discussion]
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 08:41:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nqhyn/those_sighsdiscussion/
---
You know what I'm talking about. Those "I haven't eaten all day and it's so perfect but I really feel like I can't stop myself but please god stop me " in your head, all of that going on inside you. But on the outside, you sit quietly, staring at the wall. Just sighing.

---

[Help] Heart will not stop pounding.
/u/KillingKylie [5'5| Piggy|-25|F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 08:11:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nqdnp/heart_will_not_stop_pounding/
---
I am wondering if this happens to anyone else; my heart will not stop pounding and my heart rate has been considerably higher than normal.

I only exercise for 2 hours a day 5 days a week and restrict to around 800. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

---

[Rant/Rave] the paradox of having eating problems
/u/crapbeg
Created: Sun Jun 12 07:32:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nq8nb/the_paradox_of_having_eating_problems/
---
Whenever I'm hungry, I'm too busy feeling hungry to concentrate. Whenever I'm full, I'm too busy feeling fat and bloated to concentrate.

?????

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[Discussion] Eating a "normal diet"
/u/Erenem [5'4 | 88 | 15.10 | -32lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 07:30:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nq8fk/eating_a_normal_diet/
---
I feel so lost at the minute. I'm not recovering, and I relapsed just a bit less than a year ago. At first I refused to eat meals and skipped any I didn't "have to" eat, but now I kind of eat 3 square meals a and 1 or 2 small snacks. 1200-1300. Never over 1300. I was diagnosed last year, and looking back I would say that my diagnosis was probably valid then - AN restrictive - but now? Not so much. I'm underweight, but I feel like a fraud because normal people eat this sort of amount. I feel like it's not worryig enough, and I don't think I'd ever be able to go back to eating 500 or less a day. I don't even think I want to because this is "working" and everything. I just feel like I can't really be that disordered if I eat this much.

Anyone else feel like this?

---

[Rant/Rave] That devistating feeling when you realize you'll never be small.
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 06:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nq0ae/that_devistating_feeling_when_you_realize_youll/
---
I mean I've always known but its dawning on me now how upsetting it really is. I just want to be tiny. I see pictures of women with cute dainty wrists and waists, but I'm so large framed that I'll never have that.

I dont mean the large framed/big boned overweight people talk about when they dont want to admit they're gluttonous slobs. I mean I'm 6'0" and my wrist is so large that I can just barely wrap my fingers all the way around to touch. My shoulders are so broad if I wear girl graphic tees the look sleeveless. My knees are huge and the bones hit, so I'll never have a true thigh gap, just the key hole gap I have now. My hips are so wide I'll never have a decent ass and I will never able to wear cute shirts that are flattering. My pelvic bone is so large, if I lay down it sticks out and I look like I have a dick bulge. My ribs are wide, so I barely have a waist. I'm like a walking box. So disproportionate. So huge. I'm really upset by this. I just want to wear cute flattering clothing, but I cant because my body is so hideous. I just hide behind huge baggy sweatshirt and jeans that are two sizes too big.

People always mistake me for a man. Ive been called sir so many times... I just want to be a cute small woman, not some gargantuan amazonian. Ugh...

---

[Rant/Rave] "You have some thickness to you, but it's a good thickness."
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" l 131.8 | 26.01 l -17.1 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 05:11:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4npu1n/you_have_some_thickness_to_you_but_its_a_good/
---
The boy I slept with last night actually said this to me this morning. Is there actually such a thing as "good thickness," because to me thick just means fat...Was he just trying to make me feel better? I just don't understand what this means at all. Thanks for reading. I'm not sure what I'm looking to get out of this post, but I had to tell someone and you lovelies are the only ones who I think could understand what I'm feeling right now.

---

[Rant/Rave] (TMI lol sorry) pissing and purging
/u/allocentriclock
Created: Sun Jun 12 04:27:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4npqd4/tmi_lol_sorry_pissing_and_purging/
---
Is anybody else so unfortunate?

Even when I pee beforehand.

Am I getting old? (I'm only 25!)

I really need to stop this. I'm ruining myself and I'm still fat ugh

---

[Rant/Rave] My flight might be cancelled and I'm struggling to not stress eat
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11½ | 138.2 | 18.93 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 12 03:56:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4npnqn/my_flight_might_be_cancelled_and_im_struggling_to/
---
We're supposed to go on a vacation tomorrow, but there is a strike going on at the airport so we don't know if we'll be able to fly tomorrow and I hate it I wanna stress eat so badly it's only noon but I've taken two EC stacks because fuck I refuse to give in to emotional eating!

---

[Thinspo] This thinspires me! x-post from r/videos
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Sun Jun 12 01:06:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4np9u8/this_thinspires_me_xpost_from_rvideos/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/4nlqyv/cr%C3%A8me_caramel_by_canada_nsfw/

---

vyvanse
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Sun Jun 12 00:39:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4np779/vyvanse/
---
was just perscribed- what have been your expereinces?

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[Rant/Rave] I don't know what I'm doing - Rant
/u/hellacruella
Created: Sat Jun 11 22:44:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4novr0/i_dont_know_what_im_doing_rant/
---
I know this is probably not the place for this, but I'm not sure what to do. You may have seen me posting on my other account, VelveteenPeach but I don't want this to show up there tbh.
To make a long story short I've struggled with my weight a long time. After I had my son at 17, I gained about 30 lbs. I got married shortly after and consistently have kept gaining weight. All the while, my husband has made fun of me and put me down a LOT for my weight. Yesterday I found out I have PCOS, so I'm at least looking at better ways to manage my weight now, but I'm still having issues processing it.
The biggest shit is, I found out tonight my husband has been cheating on me. (This is not the first time I've caught him but this time it hurts more, because I've had to deal with this so much) Like, I know the person he is cheating with and considered them a friend. I don't know what to do at this point. I know the logical action, but I do love him. He's the father of my son and my first love. I just can't stop being shocked and hurt to the point I just want to melt away. I keep blaming myself for getting so fat. I feel like shit.

I'm sorry, I just had to get it out. Feel free to ignore this mess of a post.

---

[Rant/Rave] So fucking motivated - fat shaming wins
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 11 21:54:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4noq5d/so_fucking_motivated_fat_shaming_wins/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Artificial thigh gap (still happy)
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 106.6 | 19.41 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 20:09:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nodr0/artificial_thigh_gap_still_happy/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/95b6f0372a6747358dcd107b84055140?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=80786e411e01766a3ff3ad50d99b1cce

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[Rant/Rave] House to myself = 5 day fast!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 11 19:30:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4no90n/house_to_myself_5_day_fast/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Not sure if this is the place, but blender recommendations?
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 19:18:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4no7l6/not_sure_if_this_is_the_place_but_blender/
---
I need a cheap ish blender and/or processor for my bananas and fruit junk. When I do eat I want to be able to make safe yummy replicas of my favorite smoothies!!

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[Help] Broken scale or magic body?
/u/Myuuji [169 | 51.6 | 18.07 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 17:37:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nnucg/broken_scale_or_magic_body/
---
So, this morning I weighed 53.7, then I went to the hair salon, had a 230~ calorie lunch, and after the 7 hours at the hair salon me and my mum went to a friend of mines apparent ment, there I ate a McFlurry Diam. Then when I got home I ate even more, some licorice. My weight was 53.6 after all of that. Then now, I ate a huge plate of food, like huge, of rice, curry and chicken guilt free. But then I felt so full I couldn't even move so even though I planned on not purging, because my mom was in the house and I was in a good mood, I did. Scale said 53.4. That has never happend to me before, so, do I need to get new batteries or something?

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[Other] I made a decision and I don't know how I feel about it.
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 16:58:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nnp2n/i_made_a_decision_and_i_dont_know_how_i_feel/
---
Lately my whole life has been: run, run, run. Eat just enough so I can run and not pass not. However, as much as the running seems to be keeping some of my mental issues at bay, I don't think I really enjoy it anymore. I'm much happier when I'm fasting. Which, is basically impossible when I'm running.

So I think I'm going to quit the running. I'll go back to yoga (which was also good for my mental health) and still walk an hour or so a day. I won't burn any where near as many calories, but I won't be eating nearly as many either.

I've stocked up on my Valerian Root, St John's Wort and Passion Flower herbs (which I'm convinced help with my anxiety and ADD- whether they actually do or not I don't care, because I feel better when I take them. Self fulfilling prophecy or not) and am planning to use them in place of my running- just a lot more than I usually do and hope the combo or that and the yoga makes things even out.

So basically, I'm just posting to say, I'm gonna fast a lot more now. Except now. Now husband and I are going out to dinner. But there will be wine, so that's always good.

Enjoy your Saturday dolls!

---

[Help] Quick TMI question...
/u/CosmetologistToBe [5' 7" | 116 lbs | 18.17 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 16:09:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nni4i/quick_tmi_question/
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This is so embarrassing.

I binge. Recently, like a light switch, I have become completely dry during romp time in the bedroom. I was wondering if you girls have had the same problem and if my binging is related.

Thanks! <3

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[Discussion] Moviessss
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Jun 11 14:14:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nn0tj/moviessss/
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I just watched black swan and am so triggered right now.

What are your favo thinspo movies?

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[Rant/Rave] Frustrations
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 96 | 16.1 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 13:08:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nmqwn/frustrations/
---
Ugh so my dad is being the stupidest, most insensitive clueless person ever right now.

As you know, I'm trying to recover because 3 weeks ago I honestly thought I was going to die. Met with a doctor and it turns out I only had a month left. So that was scary.

I've been seeing a therapist and setting goals. I'm back up to 96lbs, which I have mixed feelings about. I'm terrified of gaining weight. I don't want to. But I know if I don't try and don't comply with the therapist I'll be locked up in an institution where they'll force me to pack on 3lbs a week. I know they're being gentle with me. So I'm continuing to give it a go so I don't get locked up. That's the last thing I want.

Anyway, the therapist has been giving me weekly goals. This week my goal is to eat a hamburger. Because I told him all I've been wanting is a hamburger. He said, 'Do it. Give in to the craving. Eat that hamburger and enjoy it!' So I'll be heading to In-N-Out (California privilege!!!!) for a hamburger in a bit.

I told my parents about my goal for the week. They were supportive but my dad is an idiot. He said, 'So are you gonna go to Five Guys?' After I SAID I was planning on going to In-N-Out. A 300 calorie burger (mustard instead of the special sauce) I can handle. An 800 calorie burger from Five Guys I can't. So I snapped at him because seriously WHY DID YOU IGNORE WHAT I JUST SAID??!?!?!!!?? Fast- forward to this morning. I had just finished my breakfast, cream of wheat and a piece of toast, and was washing the dishes I used when my dad came in the kitchen and said, 'I'm grilling burgers for lunch, do you want one?' I snapped at him, saying 'What did I say last night? I'm gonna get a burger in a few hours. I just finished breakfast. I'm not even hungry right now. Why would I want 2 burgers???' His response? 'Just thought I'd ask.' I said, 'I want to get better, not fat and you're making me angry right now.' Then I locked myself in my bedroom because I need to be alone right now. I'm so fucking pissed how he can be so insensitive/ clueless.

Recovery is not about getting fat. It's about getting a healthy perspective on food, repairing damaged relationships, and not dying. And I don't see how eating 2 goddamn hamburgers is going to achieve that. Ugh I just want to restrict right now and not even buy the goddamn In-N-Out burger. I feel sick.

---

Having to log the first binge I've had in awhile
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 11 12:59:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nmphe/having_to_log_the_first_binge_ive_had_in_awhile/
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[deleted]

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[Other] I feel like my boyfriend is starting to lose interest in me
/u/onionfae
Created: Sat Jun 11 12:40:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nmmmy/i_feel_like_my_boyfriend_is_starting_to_lose/
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He almost can't handle my moods (I cry a lot), he gets frustrated that I process things slow (it was somewhat cute before and now it's just stupid) and I know my body doesn't impress him as much as he says, hopefully the fear of losing him will keep me fasting and motivate me to work out. Last time I lost a good amount of weight was from being depressed after breaking up for a month (I lost about a pound a day) and I'm hoping I can lose at least half that

---

[Goal] I want this back ~circa 2013/age 17
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 119 | 20.4 | -0 | 20F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 12:05:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nmh4w/i_want_this_back_circa_2013age_17/
---
http://imgur.com/dIoqe0P

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[Discussion] Appetite suppressants
/u/jesuiselvis
Created: Sat Jun 11 11:35:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nmclt/appetite_suppressants/
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So I have been doing an ECY (ephedrine, caffeine, and yohimbine) stack 2x a day, but I feel like they aren't working anymore :/ Are there any other good appetite suppressants or anything?

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[Discussion] Has anyone tried a keto diet?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 11 11:06:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nm85g/has_anyone_tried_a_keto_diet/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jun 11 10:02:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nlyix/daily_food_diary_june_11_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 11, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Alright lovelies, I would absolutely appreciate hearing how you keep yourself feeling and looking as amazing as you are!
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 09:48:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nlwo7/alright_lovelies_i_would_absolutely_appreciate/
---
I would love to hear how you keep yourselves looking healthy and beautiful. What products do you use for your hair and skin? What suppliments do you take and why?

Please tell me all your secrets! :D

---

Alright lovelies, I would absolutely love to hear how you keep yourself feeling and looking
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 11 09:47:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nlwg6/alright_lovelies_i_would_absolutely_love_to_hear/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] How do you deal with the exhaustion?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 09:33:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nlua7/how_do_you_deal_with_the_exhaustion/
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My boyfriend and I had a little meltdown this weekend after I basically was too tried to do anything, and he became upset that we did very little of what he wanted to. This made me realize that my exhaustion is a problem. I can barely do anything without caffeine (and I don't even drink it every day). All I want to do is sleep. I'm tired even after I sleep.

I have a psychiatrist appointment in about a week and a half. I DON'T want to tell him about my relapse into restricting, because he'd just tell me to eat more, and plus I was pretty tired before my relapse. I want some caffeine pills or something. Idk. Is there another option?

---

[Rant/Rave] Why do I bother with any sort of relationship.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 08:55:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nlozq/why_do_i_bother_with_any_sort_of_relationship/
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I've cried over a smoothie in front of my bf before, and while I admit I am not specific, I told him I had problems with food and used to throw it up. His response was "you should have not eaten it then". He proceeds to be mad at me for eating what he gave me and me reacting poorly.

Needless to say I don't want to talk to him about it anymore.

Yesterday I did well. I had one coconut water (120 cal) and one apple (116) I planned on a vegan burger for dinner with some avocado (186) so I kept it under 500.
But my boyfriend wanted Salad for dinner and stupid me for allowing him to alter my meal plan. We split everything so I have no idea how to count numbers on it and I hate it. In total for two of us

One bag of beanitos chips.

One avocado

?? Fresh salsa

2/3 a cucumber

Half a head of Romain

Caesar vinaigrette

??feta cheese

Sunflower seeds

a bell pepper

Tomato
I must have had at least 1000 calories pushing me to 1236. Way the fuck over 500 God and he's coming over again. He doesn't understand why I get so grumpy but I don't want to eat. He gets mad when I am sad about eating. Egsudhejdifiekillme

Sorry my posts are always like this. I don't really have anyone to talk to. I have one male friend who's gf hates me, my mom, and my bf lol. Thanks for helping me through my crazy.

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[Goal] Met my goal, but fucked up my calculations. Happiness gone :(
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 08:33:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nllzy/met_my_goal_but_fucked_up_my_calculations/
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I weighed in at 145 this morning. The last time I weighed this much was when I was 20 and just found out I was pregnant.

Did a happy dance!

Then found out the height conversion Ive been using was off by a few cm, so my bmi is not in the lower 20s, its 21.4

Damnit.

So :) :(

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[Rant/Rave] Collarbones
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Sat Jun 11 07:23:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nld9o/collarbones/
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Gosh darn it I just want my collarbones to stick out!!!! Ugggh. I'm 115 now. I want to be 105. I know they'll show then because my twin sister is that weight. Sighhhh. Always comparing myself. But I can't help it. She looks beautiful and thin in every picture she takes. I look goofy and fat. 😭😭

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[Help] I know that this has been discussed
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Sat Jun 11 06:38:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nl8gl/i_know_that_this_has_been_discussed/
---
And I'm probably breaking rules, but I can't find anything looking through all these posts, I think I've finally got the nerve to go and buy bronkaid or ephedrine, but I wanted to ask you guys which one should I ask for? Which one do you think is available? I'm in Florida in the U.S. Could I go to Walgreens or should I go to CVS? And I should definitely buy caffeine with it? And what again are the doses I should be taking?

Please help! And I'm sorry for asking this repetitive question ya'll. Thank you! !!

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[Other] Random love
/u/14C-sucrose [5'4" | 124 | 21.28 | -52 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 11 05:29:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nl21y/random_love/
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Hey guys, I just wanted to say that I love each and every one of you. You guys keep me motivated, make me laugh, you've shown me that empathy still exists in the world, and keep me focused. I hope everyone here has a good day, I'm sending you all my strength today. :)

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[Help] Do you guys ever get manic?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 11 00:55:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nkh86/do_you_guys_ever_get_manic/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] You know those days?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 11 00:42:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nkg15/you_know_those_days/
---
[deleted]

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[Thinspo] I just wanted to share my OOTD with you lovelies c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 11 00:13:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nkddx/i_just_wanted_to_share_my_ootd_with_you_lovelies_c/
---
http://i.imgur.com/VRwVnZr.png

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Working out while restricting?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Fri Jun 10 19:49:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4njjqu/working_out_while_restricting/
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I've noticed how weak I am when I try to work out. I tried doing squats earlier and my knees felt weak and I couldn't do more than 3-4 at a time and I was stumbling every time I stood back up.

Can anyone give me advice/tips, please? I don't really workout much and I want to start getting active again because my body has been looking soft and feeling weak. What workouts do you do?

I'm thinking of eating around 800-1000 cals on days when I do decide to work out just so that I can have some energy. Should I focus on protein and carbs on days I work out too? Should I eat the majority of my calories before or after my workout?

Sorry, I'm on mobile. Can't flair :(

Edit: thank you so much for your suggestions! I'll keep these in mind when I finally have the chance to workout :)

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[Rant/Rave] I am horrible
/u/itsgettingexhausting [5'4"| CW103.6| 17.78| -6.8lbs| Female]
Created: Fri Jun 10 19:35:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4njhvk/i_am_horrible/
---
I have read through the rules; I hope this post comes out correctly. I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes.


It started with the weight gain. I was bad enough to ruin what I worked for to make myself fat. I should consider that I deserve this, but that's not how it works; is it? To be fat is worse than to be punished.

You are punished because you have done wrong. The punishment is a release; it makes you feel like you atoned for your sins. But to be fat is to be sin. You cannot atone for the state you are in. I'm repulsive to my own nature.

I had lost some weight. A few pounds. I was less than I had been in months. I was one day away from 109. I had walked for over an hour. I was going to fast today; then the end of my shift rolled around. I'm here while everyone has gone home. I ate 2 huge pieces of pizza. Such a gross word even "pizza" and a disgusting phrase "pieces of pizza". The way your mouth forms the word - it contorts your whole face into one of fat. If I can't even stand saying the word how did I shove the object in my body?

I purged. I felt like I should leave it in me, as punishment. But the point of punishment is not to create more sin. I wish the purging hurt worse so I could release the guilt.

---

[Goal] 26-hour fast about to be broken
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 19:26:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4njgq1/26hour_fast_about_to_be_broken/
---
My husband is making me eat dinner. I'm still proud of myself though.

---

[Rant/Rave] Had to go to a family meal out. It was hell.
/u/Skinny-Girl-Dreaming [5'3 | 112lbs | BMI 20.39 | -5 | F | GW 101lbs]
Created: Fri Jun 10 18:47:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4njc0r/had_to_go_to_a_family_meal_out_it_was_hell/
---
Just come home for the month or so between my tenancies in my uni city, first day back and my sisters boyfriend invites me, her and our mum out for a meal with his mum and stepdad.

I've had ED on and off to varying degrees for a good 10years now, and I couldn't let myself do anything so soon that would make them suspect me.

Id already had to have lunch with my mum and sister which must have been about 400 cal??? toast, about 80cal of goats cheese some cherry tomatoes and some tuna mayonaise that my sis made.

But then it was restaurant time, I ordered just a main on salmon on a bed of salad with courgette ribbons, pine and mixed nuts and canelloni beans. But they all ordered starters which were pushed on me, guessing at least 200cal for the starters I nibbled, felt like I had to accept to save face especially in front of her boyfriends family... I didn't want there to be a scene. Then sis and boyfriend had vouchers on their phone for four free chocolate tarts with ice cream and they literally put one down in front of me and asked me to eat it. I'm known for loving desserts, which makes it hard to refuse without causing suspicion, and before that everyone was joking how id order everything on the dessert menu for myself and that made me feel like crap.

I got away with just eating the ice-cream and honeycomb and maybe 4 spoonfuls of the chocolate tart. Going to estimate 450 cal but I don't really know.

I'm guessing the whole main was probably no more than 500cal because it was pretty healthy.

But then there was wine which might be as much as another 450.

So there we go, easily a 2000cal day... My BMR is only 1250... and I only went on a short walk today. Feeling like utter crap, I purged as soon as I was alone and able too, and a fair bit came up, but not enough. Bet most of the fat and shit was already in my body.

I'm torn between wanting to weigh myself now (or tomorrow) and assess the damage, or waiting - fasting tomorrow (if they let me) and weighing in the day after.

I do tend to estimate calories a bit high, so hopefully, it was only like 1800 cals.

Hate my belly. Hate my thighs. feel gross.

EDIT: I caved and weighed myself and it nly said I was 114.75 so I'm freaking out less now. still plan on having a 200cal or less day tomorrow though. x

---

[Help] Step mom making my life hell, how do I deal with this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 10 18:36:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4njase/step_mom_making_my_life_hell_how_do_i_deal_with/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] [thinspo] bf abroad for a month = restrict for a month!
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Fri Jun 10 18:16:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nj87l/thinspo_bf_abroad_for_a_month_restrict_for_a_month/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/055e17da4c9741168108bfce0ad7d135?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=9946af036da421844438ea623eb0aab2

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[Thinspo] [thinspo] boyfriend abroad for a month = restrict for a month!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 10 18:09:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nj7cy/thinspo_boyfriend_abroad_for_a_month_restrict_for/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/b8a03df3c7774809997c73a2c47d108f?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=58cf12fd814135868d97cc8e04514910

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[Rant/Rave] I didn't want to make him mad so he prevented a high cal food, yay I guess?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 16:30:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nitj2/i_didnt_want_to_make_him_mad_so_he_prevented_a/
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Cause apparently I can't have taquitos from qt. Because they will make me shit at this concert? Idk this hasn't ever happened before, I think he just is mad since he's kicking cigarettes and I NEVER listen to him. I just wanted one. Saved up cals and everything. Guess I'm gettin shit faced at this concert on an empty stomach. Game of shits. Fucking hell. I hope I mosh to death. And shit on everyone. DESPITE TAQUITOS FROM QT!!!! Lmao. Dumbest fucking argument yet. I still really want a fucking taquito ): atleast I will only be taking in alcohol cals. Have a great night lovies. Hold your fingers that o don't have to break a face. Mentally.

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[Other] I am home alone for the next 10 days.
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 55kg | 18.43 | -33kg | NB/M]
Created: Fri Jun 10 16:20:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4niryg/i_am_home_alone_for_the_next_10_days/
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Fitbit's MFP adjustment today is at -1890.

I weigh 0.9kg less right now than first thing this morning.

Calorie intake today was half the average for the past week.

I am so excited to keep this up.

---

[Tip] Instagram account posts foods with calorie counts (per container) replacing the brand names. [x-post fatlogic]
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 15:33:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nikti/instagram_account_posts_foods_with_calorie_counts/
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https://www.instagram.com/caloriebrands/

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[Help] dealing with muscular legs
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 14:55:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4niekj/dealing_with_muscular_legs/
---
Hey guys, I haven't done a formal introduction yet, mostly browsing the sub regularly and relating to a lot of what I see. I am a mostly recovered bulimic currently who of course slips up from time to time. And have been trying to lose a few pounds over the past month through restriction alone. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone on here has problems with naturally muscular legs. My legs have always been large but not flabby, just dense and muscular. They are not super toned but I fear that if I work on toning them I will just be adding on more muscle and making myself look even more masculine. I am not great at running and don't enjoy it, but I guess I'm just wondering if any of you deal with similar insecurities. I'll post a picture soon along with an introduction, just thought I would test the waters first. Thanks in advance for any advice :)

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[Tip] If you eat a lot at night, try starting your food diary later in the day.
/u/ycuI [5'2 | 104 | 19.89 | -31 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 14:36:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nibmq/if_you_eat_a_lot_at_night_try_starting_your_food/
---
Instead of "resetting" the amount of calories I ate back to 0 on 12 A.M., I reset it at 5 P.M. I'm not good at explaining things so I have a [picture](http://i.imgur.com/vKNab67.png). For example, if it's June 10th, then on the food journal for that day I only record things I've eaten after five p.m. The next day, on the 11th, I record my breakfast and lunch on the food journal for the 10th. This way if you ever have to go out to eat for dinner, you won't go over your calorie limit. You can just eat less for breakfast and lunch tomorrow. I saw this on an old loseit thread and have been doing it for a while, it makes going out to eat much less stressful for me. I hope this makes sense, I suck at explaining lol

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[Help] weight training after a binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 10 14:00:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ni5j0/weight_training_after_a_binge/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I just came here to be a jealous brat ):
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 13:42:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ni2ie/i_just_came_here_to_be_a_jealous_brat/
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My sister is losing weight! So much weight! I'm still thinner (for now, fuck you booze and binges), but goddamn I am pissed. Its so bad. I wish she was still heavier :/ she's the one with the pretty face who looks great at every weight. Being skinny is MY thing. Even if I'm not very good at it. At all. Lol

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[Tip] Brownies for 37 cal. Yup, that's right. 37 CALORIES
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jun 10 13:05:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nhw0e/brownies_for_37_cal_yup_thats_right_37_calories/
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http://bromabakery.com/2013/04/37-calorie-brownies-and-no-im-not.html

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[Discussion] Definitely a TMI question, but..
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 160 | 23.20 | -38 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 11:32:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nhflk/definitely_a_tmi_question_but/
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How often do you poop? I used to go every day, but the last few months it's like every other day, or sometimes it'll be 3-4 days before I go again. I feel stuffed, like a goddamned piñata.

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[Help] Going to Indiana to meet my SO's extended family and Sister. Super worried.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jun 10 11:05:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nhaqm/going_to_indiana_to_meet_my_sos_extended_family/
---
Sorry for the double post this morning, I'm feeling anxious guys.. lol

First off, struggling to clear my skin, and trying to make it look decent before 6/15 since that's when we leave to Indiana. $150 later, hopefully this routine will work. So, y'know that's stressful enough.

FYI, my SO knows about my ED, and we talk about it openly. He is the most amazing person, and I am so lucky to have him.

I've of course met his parents, and one of his sister's. His other family, and older sister + 4 nieces lives in Indiana (we're in Oklahoma) so we'll be driving there next Wednesday. We will be a house guest for 4 days and eating breakfast/dinner/etc with them. Saturday may be the only exception, as me and my SO are taking the day to go to PROBABLY Cincinnati. Maybe Louisville, we don't know lol I could probably fast that day.

I have recently become mostly vegetarian, but I eat fish or shellfish/crustaceans about twice a week. They live in a rural area, and I'm afraid the food is not going to be very nutritious or even veggie friendly.

I don't want to bring my own food. I feel like I will look like a snob. I don't want to refuse to eat things they make. I will look like a snob. I don't want to waste their food. I will look like a *wasteful* snob.

I feel like there is literally nothing I can do but try to eat the smallest normal people portions I can. I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I will be gaining weight, and probably not able to weigh myself if they don't have a scale.

Just typing this out, I feel a tightness in my chest and like I can barely breathe.

If you guys have any suggestions, I'd really appreciate it.
If you don't, I understand, because from what I can tell, it's a lose-lose no matter what...

---

[Discussion] Restricting has helped me stop chewing and picking at my skin/nails.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jun 10 10:19:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nh2kx/restricting_has_helped_me_stop_chewing_and/
---
Ever since I started logging calories and food I've eaten in a day in a journal, it's like I don't have any room for more obsessive behaviors lol

I probably spend 2 hours of my 8 hour work day looking up calories and portion sizes to find out what I can eat for the day.

Then I log it as planned food.

Then at the end of the day, I do an "actual consumed" log. So, if I strayed off my path, I have to see it, and add those extra calories to my weekly allotted amount.

Since I've been doing all this calculating, and obsessive logging, my skin has healed around my nails, and some of my nails are even peeking passed my finger tips.

Anyone else experience something like this?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 10 10:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ngzng/daily_food_diary_june_10_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 10, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] How can a few words hurt me so so badly?
/u/kelly_kapoor001
Created: Fri Jun 10 09:30:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ngu5l/how_can_a_few_words_hurt_me_so_so_badly/
---
Hi lovelies,

I have been a long time lurker here and love seeing all the support and non-judgement!

Yesterday I hung out with my ex and now I'm feeling horrible and I need to just get it all out there.

Some backstory: I dated this boy, we will call him Max, for almost a year. We were both very very into fitness and healthy eating and spent a lot of time in the gym together. Max competes in body building competitions. Before this I was very very restrictive with food but going to the gym helped me focus on my body image in more positive way. However, Max broke up with me in January. I have no hard feelings towards him because he said he just didn't love me anymore, and I can't fault someone for that, but I still care about him so much. After the breakup the gym was painful. It used to be our thing. I stopped caring about what I ate. I hated myself and my body so much. I spent time in the hospital and started new meds. I gained 5 pounds and lost muscle.

Fast forward to yesterday. He had been talking to me the past week, saying he missed me and wants to grab dinner together. Okay sounds good. Things start getting a little intense when I first get there. Everything is going fine but he looks at me without clothes and says "you're not as fit as you used to be.... That's disappointing." ......

World. Crushed.


I am feeling so terrible about myself now. I hate every second of being trapped in this body. I want to be fit and tan and cute. Instead I'm a fat pig and so out of shape.

I want to use this as motivation. I want to say fuck it and get back up and push harder. But right now all I can do is cry and lay in bed. I want to take sleeping pills just so I don't have to be awake anymore.

Has anyone said something to you that completely destroyed your self image? How did you deal with it? What do you do when people comment on your body?

Any advice is so appreciated. You're all fantastic human beings.


TL;DR - ex boyfriend says I don't look as good as I used to. Struggling to get it together now.

---

[Help] Fitbit advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 10 09:29:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ngtyn/fitbit_advice/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Favorite snacks?
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5"| 100.4 | 18.64 | -32lb | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 09:11:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ngqpx/favorite_snacks/
---
Hello lovelies!

I'm wondering what y'all's favorite relatively healthy but low-cal snacks are. I try to keep it between 50-150 calories and attempt to get either some protein or fiber in everything I eat. I am a pescetarian, but feel free to share ones with meat too! Here are mine:



1/8c PB2 (45cal) and 10 frozen grapes (20cal)- TOTAL: 65cal w/ 5g protein

1/2c 0% plain Greek yogurt (60-70cal, depending on the brand) with added stevia and cinnamon mixed with 1/2c blueberries (35cal)- TOTAL: ~100cal w/ 11g protein and 2g fiber

2 egg whites/ 1/4c liquid egg whites (34cal) scrambled with 1/2c chopped bell pepper (15cal)-TOTAL: 50cal w/ 9g protein and 2.5g fiber

1/2c Fiber One original cereal (I usually drink tea with it because I don't like milk in cereal) TOTAL: 60cal w/ 2g protein and 14g fiber

1/2c Unsweetened almond milk (though I put stevia and cinnamon in this as well) (30cal) and 1.5tbs chia seeds (90cal) TOTAL: 120 cal w/ 5g protein and 8g fiber

3 Persian cucumbers (~30cal) and rice vinegar/soy sauce (20cal)- TOTAL: ~50cal w/ 2g fiber (though it does have a lot of sodium, so beware if that's something you're trying to minimize!)

1/2 square veggie bouillon (15 cal), 1/2c chopped carrots (25cal), 1/2c celery (7cal) TOTAL: ~50cal w/ 3g fiber (also high sodium, but I'm a sucker for soup!)



These are all I can think of for now, but I'll likely edit with more later. I'd love to hear your favorites :)

---

[Goal] Reasons why today is my favorite in a while:
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Fri Jun 10 08:56:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ngo70/reasons_why_today_is_my_favorite_in_a_while/
---
I have had a rough go at it lately. I started a new job (STRESS!), and I'm devoting a lot of time to my boyfriend who is struggling with heaps of depression (which has been especially hard, as I struggled with depression from the age of 12), and I've still been trying to follow my inner compass and do what I feel is best, from restricting to domesticity to socialization. Today, I'm seeing a lot of my struggle come to fruition!

1. Two years ago, I gained an unsightly and un-budgeable 22 lbs. We moved states, changed jobs, and made some other adjustments, and my own mental/physical state took the back burner as I struggled on that work grind. I am finally taking the time to shove that off, and after 2 years of losing and gaining the same 10lbs, I have finally seen the other side of 145 again! I seriously want to decorate the house and have a dance party with my cat, but I have no time for that, because--


2. I got invited to an enormous pool party with the people I work with for tonight! I'm not where I want to be weight-wise, but I am excited to wear a cute bathing suit and get a little tipsy by the pool with my boyfriend and--


3. MY NEW FRIEND! Who also has struggled with ED, who I bitch about people with, who has taken time to talk to my boyfriend too (he sometimes gets too down on himself and needs some coaxing to socialize). She's gorgeous and cool. Yesterday, I walked around a corner to see her sharing her dinner with my guy, and I think she worried I'd be jealous, but I just want him to have friends, and I'm excited to have another person we can both hang out with. I also love her because--

4. She told me I looked skinny yesterday! I hadn't seen her in about 5 days, and she said I looked thinner, but in a really approving way. I was so happy!!

5. I took 10 days off of alcohol, and it made me feel great!!! I hadn't taken a day off in o ver a year, so I was worried it would be hard. It was really easy, and now I think I can cut out even more calories in the form of alcohol without feeling deprived.


6. The bf is taking me to a really nice French restaurant for brunch, and while I'm not going to go crazy, I'm excited to enjoy fine food without stressing about it.


SOOO that's it! I'm off to change my flair, then get ready for a pool party like I'm Brenda Walsh or something! :D


EDIT: So I went, had some drinks, talked to people. It was really nice, or as nice as a 250 person pool party ever is. The ID guy almost didn't let me in because he said there was no way I was 26, so that felt nice. After not drinking and then drinking, I'm confident that I should drink less overall. I love you all, thanks for the support! Xoxoxoxo

---

[Thinspo] A quote
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 08:20:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ngi2k/a_quote/
---
"It is necessary to handle yourself better when you have to cut down on food so you will not get too much hunger-thinking. **Hunger is good discipline and you learn from it. And as long as they do not understand it you are ahead of them.** Oh sure, I thought, I'm so far ahead of them now that I can't afford to eat regularly. It would not be bad if they caught up a little." - Hemingway

---

[Rant/Rave] So, my Dad practically frog marched me round to the doctors to make an appointment (rant/just getting this off my chest).
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jun 10 08:12:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nggx1/so_my_dad_practically_frog_marched_me_round_to/
---
I took my Dad to the gym today. He agrees to come with me once every few weeks lol.. I like it though, it's fun showing him the ropes.

I was planning to get my body fat percentage done on the new machine today, but decided against it when the lovely /u/Glitter_Cunt pointed out that type of machine [could be REALLY inaccurate when it came to body fat percentage](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nb58o/today_is_thursday_thursday_is_normally_a_fast_day/d42hr3z).

Still, I couldn't help eye it up today. Just looking at it. My Dad caught me, and told me I should get on it. I told him no - first, I didn't want to know my weight (he knows that I don't like knowing, but I pass it off to him as 'I don't like knowing because it doesnt matter :D'), and second, I had heard it wasn't accurate for much else... but he badgered and badgered until I got on.

Welp. I didn't get as far as the body scan part anyway. Once my weight flashed up, my Dad made me get off, and on, and off, and on again to recheck it. Then he shuffled the machine and made me recheck again. Every result was between 90lbs and 91lbs.

( *Note: Last time I weighed myself on that machine, my weight was 96lbs-97lbs each check... and that was only a few days ago now? I know I had water weight that day and was bloated, but it didn't seem like much at all.. max a couple of lbs. Then again, that day my waist was bloated up to near 28 inches and today it's back down to 26.5.. Either way I don't trust that I am 91lbs at the moment and so wont be updating my flair until I can be sure..*)

ANYWAY, despite that note there, I was practically shitting my damn keks with joy over seeing that number come up on the scale. Secretly, of course.

But my father was HORRIFIED.

The doctors office is very close to the gym. He told me that we were going right now to make an appointment. I argue and tell him, it's not that low. He says, it is low, but he's more worried about how he's watched me getting skinnier and skinnier even after I was 'obviously thin enough'. I act like it's not a big deal, tell him it's just because I'm active now blah blah, but he walks with me and watches me make an appointment then and there at the Doctors reception.

I'm not worried. I'm 27 years old. I wont let him come in the office with me. I'll just say some BS and tell him I want to talk to the Doctor about other stuff too that might be connected to weight loss... 'girl stuff'. He wont want to come in then lol. Then I can do what I want.. go to the Doctor and say I just want a general check up, or talk about my anxiety, or anything I like. Then, I can lie to my father somehow..

I don't want to lie to my father. I love him VERY much. VERY VERY much, I swear. But I am not ready for this yet.. heck I don't think I ever will be. But I feel kind of okay about the lying plan, because I have already come up with ANOTHER plan to eat more and build muscle on my own anyway.. so I should put on healthy muscle weight (while hopefully losing fat) which will show on the scales.. so my father, if he checks my weight again, will see an increase and not worry.. or something.

Bleh. What a day.. (really do hope todays weight was accurate though, but yeah.. don't dare believe it right now, so I'll stick with my previous weight)

---

[Discussion] Nope nacks.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 06:43:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ng3s7/nope_nacks/
---
So. I had to have. Mom never makes this and it's my favourite. But I started my fast today. I CAN'T have it. But it takes every cell in my body not to... so I got a plate, dished up the entire fucking pot and went to the table. Just this one more meal. & then it hit me. I've been saying this exact thing for a thousand days. I've been planning to fast for a thousand days and everytime there's just this **one** more meal that I **have** to have. I threw everything the fuck out. No way. I will be beautiful. It's not like my face rocks. I *have* to have a hot body.

---

[Other] MFP has been really on point with its ads lately
/u/adenawesome [5'6'' | 92 | 14.83 | -30 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 06:25:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ng1cx/mfp_has_been_really_on_point_with_its_ads_lately/
---
http://i.imgur.com/aJHzjNu.jpg

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! June 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 10 06:03:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nfynr/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_june_10_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for June 10, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] Why does Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee have calories?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 10 05:59:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nfy9a/why_does_dunkin_donuts_iced_coffee_have_calories/
---
I had to go in to Dunkin Donuts this morning for a coworker and to make myself feel better and try to prevent a full on binge I got an Iced Coffee and a Banana (for lunch) figuring that the coffee was no calories because coffee on it's own is 0 calories. I got it black and add my own no calorie sweetener but then I go to add it in to MFP and it's 15 calories, I check their website and it's there too. Why is black iced coffee 15 calories? Are they hiding something else in it?

Also I specified full on binge because I already had a mini one, I ate an old fashion munchkin, a powdered sugar munchkin, and chewed and spat a chocolate glazed and regular glazed :/ Not looking forward to today as I'm already at 140 calories for the day where yesterday at this point I was at 80. I was planning on having a yogurt and the banana for lunch which would put me at 350 before I even left work but I'm pretty sure I can't get away with not eating dinner tonight so I may not be able to restrict as much as I want to. I'm disappointed in myself already because I was out to dinner with mom last night and ordered a salad, she convinced me to order the large size and take half of it home, and of course big piggy me ate the whole damn thing right there. Then went home and had another 250 calories. I'm just not looking forward to the weekend...

---

[Intro] Introduction / Co-worker blues
/u/introvertedoctopuss [Too Tall | CW: 155.8 GW: 135-140 | BMI: 21 | -22lbs | TW]
Created: Fri Jun 10 03:01:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nfggp/introduction_coworker_blues/
---
Hi,

I have been lurking on here for awhile but this is my first post (made a new account so that noone I know would see this).

I have slowly realized over the past few months that my relationship with food is not what "normal" people consider Okay. I am a transgender person (mtf) so I have been struggling with issues of body image and control for quite awhile.

Recently I have lost 20 or so pounds, putting me at my lowest weight since high-school (over 10 years ago). While I have been super excited by this and I feel like my ability to focus and restrict are in a great place, people are beginning to notice in a bad way. Specifically some of my coworkers have taken to offering me trigger foods as they feel I am not eating enough. On top of that my job has me surrounded by food all day and I get very anxious about telling people no and starting a debate on this or any subject. I also don't want to make myself an outcast by always saying no to offers of food or tastings.

Any advice on the work front would be great and sorry for the long post, I guess I was holding a lot in :/

---

[Rant/Rave] You look creepily skinny
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 10 01:17:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nf76s/you_look_creepily_skinny/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] What's your favorite thing to wear to look skinnier?
/u/mild-rose [5'11 | 144 |20.14 | not enough | f]
Created: Thu Jun 9 23:57:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nez87/whats_your_favorite_thing_to_wear_to_look_skinnier/
---
Mine is slip dresses, shift dresses, t-shirt dresses, basically anything where the biggest point is my shoulders with no fitting.

I'm hating shorts though, because my thighs are gigantic.

---

[Help] Ow, this could suck.
/u/01101011_00111000
Created: Thu Jun 9 22:31:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nepqw/ow_this_could_suck/
---
Hi, long time lurker, first time poster. Throwaway.


I'm 5'4" and 115 lbs. I don't think I've ever had a healthy relationship with food. I go through phases of restricting, and I keep pretty active. Then sometimes the munchies get the best of me, and I lose control and eat myself stupid.


Lately I've been concerned about my heart. Sometimes I get chest pains, and when I see my heart beating through my chest, it seems like it's going fast. I recently noticed there's a heart rate monitor function on the Samsung Health app, and my resting heart rate has been around 115-120. Just a few minutes ago it recorded at 117 resting bpm.

Life has been stressful lately, and I've been in a constant state of worry over everything. I also get panicky really easily. Maybe it's just that? I live with my SO, and that means I can't really fast for a day or two like I used to be able to do.


I'm not looking for the internet to play doctor with me. I just need to type out some feelings.

---

[Rant/Rave] The number one thing I hate about my ED...
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 22:26:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nep4o/the_number_one_thing_i_hate_about_my_ed/
---
I mean aside from the constant, powerful self hatred and agonizing depression...

I hate that I look at people I used to otherwise see as healthy (friends, especially) as incredibly disgusting. The first thing I do when I see a photo of someone, no matter who, no matter how many times I've seen the photo, is look directly at their weight/skin/fat. My thoughts are usually "ew how could they let themselves get like that" or rarely but sometimes "wow look at her bones, she is absolutely divine"

I'm such a horrid bitch and it's all because of my eating disorder. Okay I mean, I know it's not entirely but I can't control these thoughts. To be honest I'm not even sure if I want to yet. It's twisted, but it's motivating to see these people I used to consider "fit" as something I'd never want to become.

I know this has been talked about in this sub before but I just had to rant about it. I was just looking at an old co-worker thinking "fucking ew" it's awful awful awful.

Anyone else feeling like this a lot lately? I was in a bank lineup today and good lord...

---

[Rant/Rave] That feeling when you made some low carb, sugar free ice cream and tell yourself it is okay to eat it, but then go on instagram and see all those skinny girls in their cute outfits.
/u/yousimperlikeaduck
Created: Thu Jun 9 22:15:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nenqx/that_feeling_when_you_made_some_low_carb_sugar/
---
Sigh. They always make it look so effortlessly too and pose with all these yummy food. I wonder how much they eat of the food they post. So stressed about exams and issues and just want to gorge out all my unhappiness on icecream, but I guess it is better to feel sad than fat and sad.

---

[Tip] Vitamins have calories :(
/u/onionfae
Created: Thu Jun 9 21:56:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nelgs/vitamins_have_calories/
---
How could I have ignored this before, my gummy vitamins are 33 calories per serving and I take 3 packs a day.. I need to start thinking of them as snacks

---

[Tip] Could we have another health tips/minimize damage thread?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -38 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 21:54:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nela9/could_we_have_another_health_tipsminimize_damage/
---
Things like:

* Don't brush after you purge

* Have some electrolytes when fasting or after purging or using laxatives

* Take an iron supplement because you're probably deficient

* If you're fasting and get lightheaded while you're out and about, try glucose tablets. They're for diabetics to get their blood sugar back up and I find they help a great deal.

Things along those lines. I think it's fair to say we all want to reach our goal without *totally* wrecking our insides. We have a beauty thread, so I think this one is a nice balance.

---

[Goal] Hanging in there..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 9 21:49:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nekna/hanging_in_there/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Acid pain when restricting, but unsure what to eat
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 21:32:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4neigq/acid_pain_when_restricting_but_unsure_what_to_eat/
---
I have some gastric issues, and lately I've noticed when I'm restricting (at around 300-400cals) I will get horrible acid pain. No amount of tums (especially when 10 calories for 2 tablets) will help. I know eating food always helps, but what are good high volume foods that will make me feel full/stop the acid production that isn't too high in calories?

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I am so angry at myself. I feel like I've lost control of everything
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 9 20:53:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nedcp/rant_i_am_so_angry_at_myself_i_feel_like_ive_lost/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Stomach bloating and I feel so defeated
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 9 20:08:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ne794/stomach_bloating_and_i_feel_so_defeated/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] How much did your perception of thinness changed?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 9 20:07:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ne74e/how_much_did_your_perception_of_thinness_changed/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I can't believe I've done this to myself
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:110/UGW:85 | BMI:22.6 | Weight Lost: -6| Gender:F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 19:28:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ne1oa/i_cant_believe_ive_done_this_to_myself/
---
I've fucking gained over the past 6 months. I was supposed to be 95 by february and I fucked it alllllll up. I'm up to 110 pounds. I hate it. I have a trip to Taiwan next month and I can't even get down to the 90's unless I eat _nothing_ for three weeks. If I eat nothing for three weeks, while still being a potato I'd be around 100 and with some exercise maybe even 97. There's no way in hell I'd be able to get away with fasting for three weeks, and I'm so weak I'd be unable to fast that long anyway lol.

Fuck, I was doing so well in February. I got to my lowest since last year of 100. FUCKING 100. So close to breaking the barrier and then I ate the chocolate my dad bidded on (and he hardly ate any of it!)

If I didn't have to go on this trip, I could've gotten down to 90 lbs by the start of school. There's gonna be so much delicious authentic Taiwanese/Chinese style food, but I believe portion sizes are smaller in Asia. There's lots of walking too, so if I can manage to eat slower and be just as active maybe I'll get there? Ugh, all those skinny asian guys and girls are gonna be such thinspo for me...

I swear, I'm going to fast tomorrow. I was so close to managing it on tuesday and then I ate like shit at my friend's house. I think I'll be staying home tomorrow. Hello, "Papers, Please", "Let's Drown Out...", Treadmill, and Blogilates; you shall be my best friends.

sorry for the rant. I just need to do this.

---

[Goal] I'm currently 13 days away from a tattoo appointment
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 19:08:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ndytk/im_currently_13_days_away_from_a_tattoo/
---
that I switched placement on. From my hip to my thigh which I somehow thought would be better. Fuck. I'm way too fat to let some guy get all up close and personal with my thigh :(

Here's to losing as much weight as possible before then.

---

[Discussion] Am I the only one whose ED saved them?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jun 9 18:18:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ndrso/am_i_the_only_one_whose_ed_saved_them/
---
I'm just about to pop off to bed (up for gym in the morning! <3) but this popped into my head, and I'm wondering if it's the same for any of you guys.

My eating was always disordered, but it only really 'took hold' in my mid 20s. It was always going in that direction, but it was slow to finally totally snap and consume me (cue huge weight loss, blah blah).

Anyway. Before it 'took hold', I was suicidal. I wanted to die, every day, for *years*... but then, when it happened, I stopped wanting to die every day. I wasn't suicidal anymore. I had an aim. A goal. A way to make things better - Not eating.

I still feel suicidal sometimes, when I feel really hopeless and like I can't achieve my goals. But it's not every day, far from it.. because a lot of the time, even when I feel hopeless, it more pushes me to 'do better' and 'make things better' (through not eating..) than it makes me want to kill myself.

Is this weird? Anyone else?

Okay. Goodnight! Stay safe, lovelies <3

---

[Help] adderall and unstable weigh ins
/u/behindthearmory
Created: Thu Jun 9 18:14:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ndr77/adderall_and_unstable_weigh_ins/
---
i've been taking adderall to help with my weight loss and so far it's going great, i usually eat less than 400-700 calories a day and it's been two weeks and i haven't binged. i'm down about 12lbs.

i take breaks from the adderall on weekends and this past weekend i weighed in at about 8lbs heavier. i still ate 400 cals a day those two days, so i find it unlikely that the 8lbs is actual weight gain. i understand my metabolism without adderall won't be as good, but it shouldn't be 8lbs in two days bad after only two weeks of taking it.

does anyone know the reason behind it/how to avoid it? i look like i am losing weight so part of me wants to just disregard the scale but it's been bothering me. any input is helpful, thanks!

---

[Goal] Too excited about this to wait for the selfie thread!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jun 9 17:35:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ndlc8/too_excited_about_this_to_wait_for_the_selfie/
---
So, just yesterday I posted a thread about how I was "losing weight but feeling fatter" and I felt like I hadn't changed at all with the 15lbs I've lost. My boyfriend also told me he couldn't tell any difference, since we're together everyday, so that kinda sucked.

I was complaining to my friend about how I don't look any different, so she sent me "before" pictures I sent her 5 months ago. I compared them to pictures I've taken recently and was so ecstatic that I had to share!

Body frontal (5months, 2months, 6/07): http://m.imgur.com/eLhViPE

Body sideview (5months, 6/07): http://m.imgur.com/PimDIeD

Face comparison (5months, 6/03): http://imgur.com/A4F9gmI

I still hate my tummy that pokes out, so not loving my arms or cellulite on my legs. But I can see that my hard work is doing something. I can see changes being made. I hope anyone who is down and feels like they are not making any progress is inspired by this, because I was so down before seeing these pictures. I'm hoping I can look at these and stay on track.

OH and I have not worked out but maybe a handful of times (5 maybe lmao) I'm sure that will change soon, but I've been down, as I said, and lazy as fuck.

Fuck off, body dysmorphia!

"You have no power here!!!"

---

[Rant/Rave] I don't like going to the doctors
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 9 17:12:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ndhty/i_dont_like_going_to_the_doctors/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Massive Migraines/Irritability while restricting
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Thu Jun 9 17:06:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ndgwh/massive_migrainesirritability_while_restricting/
---
I feel like such a bitch today. Its my moms birthday and somehow I've managed to restrict and avoid binging on cake. Not eating made me so angry though and I actually screamed at my mom for such a stupid reason and now I'm feeling so shitty and depressed like wtf is wrong with me. I was so happy that I haven't ate then angry and now I'm sad. I also have a bitching headache. Fuuuuck.

---

[Help] MyFitnessPal help!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 9 15:36:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nd2qk/myfitnesspal_help/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Help me, I'm bloated and I have to wear a crop top tomorrow.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 9 14:32:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ncrx4/help_me_im_bloated_and_i_have_to_wear_a_crop_top/
---
http://imgur.com/kHvVwTf

---

I'm bruised but hopefully you'll still enjoy (F)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 9 14:15:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ncp0u/im_bruised_but_hopefully_youll_still_enjoy_f/
---
http://imgur.com/a/k6EXU

---

[Rant/Rave] Another rant about everything being about food...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 13:46:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ncjzi/another_rant_about_everything_being_about_food/
---
Why is every god damn thing about food all the time?

I know we all seem to ask this question frequently, but seriously it's so annoying...

I'm on vacation with my family and all they want to do is eat all the damn time. Everytime we do something it's all about what we will eat before, what we will eat after, if we need to bring snacks. It's driving me crazy, I've already eaten breakfast, lunch, and 2 snacks today! Less than 2 hours later than the last time we ate they're talking about dinner! I'm having trouble counting calories because we are eating at local restaurants with no calorie counts on the menus or online, so I'm just guessing everything. I feel like I'm about to vomit. Not knowing what we are going to eat or when or how much or being able to plan is stressing me out to the max.

I just know I'm going to gain weight while I'm here. I can feel the pounds piling on as is. I miss my scale and my coffee and my tea and my laxatives and my time alone to just not think about eating.

I think, THINK that I'm still under my count for the day because I try to only eat 1/4-1/2 of what's on my plate. But I'm always full, there's no empty high when I'm with people. I just don't get why vacation and everything else for that matter is more about food than anything else...

---

[Rant/Rave] Pizza hut.....
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 13:45:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ncjum/pizza_hut/
---
So started making friends at cosmetology school and one took me out to lunch and we split garlic knots. I ate five and that off sets my whole day. Im staying under 500 cal a day and that alone is my daily intake. My boyfriends coming over tonight and i know i have to eat dinner or he'll worry. Maybe one day of 1000 cal won't hurt, but i need to break my lowest recent weight of 127.

---

[Goal] Just weighed in at 105 :) these shorts were tight the last time I put them on!
/u/onionfae
Created: Thu Jun 9 13:38:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ncist/just_weighed_in_at_105_these_shorts_were_tight/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/cc4e057ecb8c4238a47e09aa1437b26d?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e2156cb1567bab1b1d1a038f249701e5

---

[Rant/Rave] Haven't binged in a week!
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Thu Jun 9 13:37:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ncij9/havent_binged_in_a_week/
---
Obligatory no flair, on mobile disclaimer.

But I'm super proud of myself. I haven't gone this long without a binge in yeeeears. According to lose it, if I keep up eating under 700 cals, I'll reach 120 pounds before the end of June? Idk how accurate that is but I'll be happy if I reach it before the end of summer. Though I guess sooner rather than later would be better.

Hope everyone's having a good day~ 💕

---

[Rant/Rave] existential dread, I want to binge, waahhh.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 13:31:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nchhs/existential_dread_i_want_to_binge_waahhh/
---
I'm so down today, and I'm not really sure why.

Irregular, fluctuating hormones as my body tries to resume a menstrual cycle? The shitty, broken sleep I had last night? The nightmare I had about my husband? The lackluster sex we had before bed? The crushing monotony of my job? My ear disorder flaring up which increases my chance of deafness in the future? The persistent background stress of paying off medical bills?

Whatever *it* is, I feel like its a culmination of the little stressors that's breaking me, and all I want to do is EAT ALL THE FOOD. I'll hate doing it, but its like...at least that binge will offer..something different than this constant drudgery. A temporary high I guess, since I can't toke and alcohol just makes me feel sick now.

I've felt this...*thing* building for weeks, but managed to distract myself with consistent restriction and stepping up my work out game. But today I feel like I'm at a breaking point, and I want permission to binge, even though I KNOW I'll regret it.

Reminding myself to stay strong doesn't mean anything anymore. Nothing means anything anymore.

Maybe I can channel this apathy into steering me away from binge. I don't know. do I care? I probably care. but not really? why am I doing any of this?

I need a good sulk 'n fast, but being a 31 y.o. married mom with toddler doesn't allow for much sulking OR fasting.

[me IRL](http://imgur.com/AD84Z6V)

---

[Goal] I'm technically underweight!!!!!
/u/123Purrr [5'8" | 123 | 18.5 | F/24]
Created: Thu Jun 9 13:15:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ncem7/im_technically_underweight/
---
Omg I'm so syced about this. It's been a fun week but Sunday I got super high and binged with my boyfriend. I was super hard on myself for going back on my progress but kept going forward. You can't control the past but the future is yours if you want it.

I weighed in at 121.1 *after I had two cups of water and a slice of watermelon*. At 5'8" this weight puts my bmi at 18.4. Please correct me if I'm wrong with the math but still omg. My bmi is finally back to the "underweight" category and I'm on cloud nine.

---

[Other] "ED-sufferer who went from 56lb to 210lb" - This article is like all my nightmares combined.
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Thu Jun 9 12:03:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nc249/edsufferer_who_went_from_56lb_to_210lb_this/
---
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3632939/Anorexic-woman-went-56lb-210lb-just-YEAR-writes-book-finally-battled-eating-disorders.html

---

[Thinspo] Weird Thinspo.?. Mostly just random thoughts I'm sorry.
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 160 | 24.3 | 14 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 11:32:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nbwmj/weird_thinspo_mostly_just_random_thoughts_im_sorry/
---
I started watching Steven Universe (a popular kids show) and took an immediate liking to Pearl. She's lovely and beautiful and above all skinny. She's a gem, a sort of alien warrior, and none of them need to eat, but they usually do, but in the episode I just watched she says that she hates eating, that the digestive process disgusts her and I just really relate to it I guess. Her creator even says that she loves cooking for other people, that she loves the *process* of food, but not eating it.

I just love her so much, I want to be like that. I want her level of self control.

---

[Help] Plan B? Lost my period? Help :c
/u/leeloo_12 [5'11 | 130 | 17.55 |-15| F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 11:20:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nbuip/plan_b_lost_my_period_help_c/
---
Hey everyone,

I hope this isn't TMI, but my boyfriend and I had sex and he pulled out like well before time so there was zero chance he came in me but I still got nervous and freaked out because of "precum" or anything (usually we use condoms but I haven't been on BC for a very long time - definitely will be using condoms every time!) and I took Plan B. I'm TERRIFIED of taking medication or anything that interferes with me hormonally (thus the lack of hormonal birth control :S) as I went on Paxil for a while and it really fucked me up and I gained a lot of weight and I'm finally at a weight I'm happy-ish at, so does anyone know if this sudden influx of hormones will have any effect on weight gain or anything?

Also, I took it an hour after we "had sex" (i'm neurotic) so apparently there's a very high chance it'll work, but I've also recently sort of stopped having my period (my last period came, but there was literally barely anything and it was three weeks early - I lost a large amount of weight in about three weeks?) and so I'm terrified because it hasn't come yet and it was due on the fifth, but this could just be because I've stopped menstruating as this has happened on and off throughout my life.

Does anyone have any similar experiences? I don't really have anyone to go to with this and I need it off my chest and some comfort.

Thanks so much lovelies

---

[Rant/Rave] 190cal in at noon :/
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jun 9 11:16:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nbtpd/190cal_in_at_noon/
---
And my alloted amount today is 200cal.

I binged almost 2000cal on monday, and Saturday and Sunday were horrible. I decided to act like they never happened and go from this Monday to this coming Sunday for calorie allotment.

Normally, I try to restrict 400 cal a day. Now I'm having to half that , plus 2 fast days to make up for how shitty I was Monday. 1 fast day down from Tuesday, and another planned for tomorrow or Saturday.

I want this so bad :(

Tell me I can make it until I sleep tonight.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 9 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nbh2f/daily_food_diary_june_09_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 09, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] Sizing frustrations and plateaus
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 09:13:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nb8n8/sizing_frustrations_and_plateaus/
---
I know I'm doing all the right things right now. Sure, maybe a bit more aggressively than most would consider healthy, but I only have to keep up my current routine and it'll pay off. But I'm so dissatisfied right now.

First, I've been stuck at a weight plateau since Sunday, when I caved and binged on 1000 kcal of cookies and other snacks. So dumb. Starting Sunday, my weights were 169.6, 170.6, 169.8, and today 170.0. It's making me mental.

I *know* objectively that I'm probably retaining water weight from my exercising: I'm not lifting super heavy yet, but I am doing barbell squats, deadlifts, bench, etc, and my thighs are pretty sore. On top of that, I've run every day this week. But even knowing that, I'm so frustrated that I can't seem to conclusively break into the 160s weight-wise. I haven't been in the 160s for at least four years, perhaps as many as six, and it's this arbitrary milestone I've placed, but I can't seem to reach it fast enough. I *know* I should have patience, but that doesn't help me actually have it.

In addition to that, I went shopping yesterday for more (and more attractive) exercise clothes and that's also frustrated me. According to almost all of the measurement charts for multiple different stores that I've seen, I should be fitting into an 8 or 10, which is a medium (ha vanity sizing). But I haven't, because of my fucking thunderthighs. I'd always said/thought that my thighs were large comparatively, and now I have objective proof: I noticed on a Victoria's Secret size chart that although I'm between an 8 and a 10 for my waist and hips, my thighs are between a 12 and 14. Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.

I wish spot reduction was a thing.

---

[Rant/Rave] Today is Thursday. Thursday is normally a fast day. Starting this week, I am trying to eat on Thursdays. It is not going well.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jun 9 08:53:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nb58o/today_is_thursday_thursday_is_normally_a_fast_day/
---
I thought I was okay with it, but I am a mess.

I lift at the gym 3x a week. Building muscle is important to me. I recently realised that having a low bodyfat percentage is more important to me than a low weight. I still want to be really lean and slender and light (and I can manage it even with muscle, since I'm just 5ft) but I want to make muscle with low bodyfat a priority over low weight.

All the science points to this only being possible with enough protein every day, coupled with training. Even if you eat a deficit, you need enough protein every day to build - or at least maintain - muscle mass while allowing your body to burn fat. So, while I was eating at maintenance and getting enough protein in on gym days, fasting on my rest days was not going to cut it for muscle growth now that my newb gains are dwindling.

I decided to start off easy, not overwhelm myself. I decided to try and get rid of one of my fasting days per week (meaning I have 2, rather than 3) at first, and see how I handle it. I will still attempt to fast Monday and Tuesday for now, but on Thursdays, I have to eat at least enough protein (deficit doesn't matter.. but getting enough protein for me means around 600kcal. I am having protein and 0% fat cottage cheese. Would be less if I ONLY had protein shakes, but that's too expensive for me..)

I was comfortable with the idea. Infact, excited! Whoo! I can eat on Thursdays! And two of my favourite things (protein shakes are AMAZING when you microwave them into mug brownies, you only need baking powder)!Great right?

Wrong.

I'm a mess. I want to eat because I'm hungry, as I am every Thursday, but I also desperately wish I wasn't doing this. I wish I could ignore and deny the hunger with no 'excuses' to eat. Every mouthful of cottage cheese makes me feel like I'm getting fatter, and fatter, and fatter.

I don't feel like this when I eat on gym days, and eating today is for the exact same goal that made me okay with eating on gym days.. yet, it's so much harder. Perhaps because it's been a fast day for such a long time. And I havn't actually lifted anything or been to the gym..

I feel like I'm fooling myself and this wont work to help build muscles, but rather just make me monstrously fat.

I am an incredible mess right now. This is really fucking hard.

---

[Help] You've already had 80 calories for the day and you're going to this restaurant for dinner with family. As a vegetarian, what do you order? (Dishes under 600 calories are marked with U but no specifics other than that)
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 08:51:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nb4v4/youve_already_had_80_calories_for_the_day_and/
---
http://www.yardhouse.com/menu-listing/eat

---

[Other] Breakfast lunch and dinner today
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 08:02:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nax9t/breakfast_lunch_and_dinner_today/
---
http://imgur.com/euHtrxj

---

[Discussion] What do you prefer, a "liquid" fast or a no-calorie fast?
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 106.6 | 19.41 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 07:47:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nav0y/what_do_you_prefer_a_liquid_fast_or_a_nocalorie/
---
Just wondering what people's preferences are. When you are doing a fast, do you prefer to stick to liquids (so include juice or other drinks) or do you only do a no-calorie fast (diet pops, lots of water)?

:)

---

[Help] Headaches?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | -50 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 06:07:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nahrm/headaches/
---
I get headaches that go away when I eat. Doesn't seem to matter what I eat. They're driving me nuts, any ideas?

It's not water, I deffinetly drink enough (1 gallon/day usually)

---

[Other] I'm gonna have weight loss surgery.
/u/Kattjavel [5'7| HW: 211 | LW: 116 | CW: in progress | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 9 06:06:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nahoh/im_gonna_have_weight_loss_surgery/
---
Hello everybody!
I'm 28 and for the past 7 years I have developed restrict binge type eating disorder. Now I can't even feel full with normal portions. From bmi 18 I balooned up to 33. I feel like shit. My sex life is shit too because my boyfriend won't find me attractive anymore. I just can't take this anymore, so tired of wasting my 20's being fat. So I decided to undergo gastric sleeve surgery. The BMI requirement and limit starts from 40 where I live but since I pay for the surgery myself I got approved by the surgeon. The bmi limit for the private payers starts from 30.

I wish I knew about this information before. I always thought that I needed to be morbidly obese to get one. I did my research and in 11 days I'll go under the knife.

Thanks for reading, stay safe!

---

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support June 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 9 06:02:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4nah75/weekly_emotional_support_june_09_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Other] Transforming the Addiction to Disordered Eating into Adaptive Behaviour
/u/angelinamirabtio
Created: Thu Jun 9 05:37:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4naedg/transforming_the_addiction_to_disordered_eating/
---
https://writingthroughtrauma.org/2016/06/09/transforming-the-addiction-to-disordered-eating-into-adaptive-behaviour/

---

[Intro] An intro of sorts (This is long)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 9 01:19:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n9qkr/an_intro_of_sorts_this_is_long/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] What are your feelings on pho? (Vietnamese noodle soup)
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 21:05:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n8yyw/what_are_your_feelings_on_pho_vietnamese_noodle/
---
I have only had an apple all day, so when my friend asked me if I wanted to go out to eat I couldn't resist. I looked up the calories in pho, and it turns out that there is only about 350-500 cals per bowl! I ordered a small bowl and practically licked it clean but am now feeling crazy guilty. Want to hear your opinion on whether to avoid it or not for future references.

---

[Rant/Rave] It's Been Months
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 8 21:02:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n8yii/its_been_months/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] On the subject of sagging skin....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 8 20:03:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n8pod/on_the_subject_of_sagging_skin/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Mum go away with your "fresh strawberries from the garden"
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 19:38:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n8ltr/mum_go_away_with_your_fresh_strawberries_from_the/
---
and when I decline: "have you ate anything today?" 0_0 this is only my second 24 hour fast. DID I SERIOUSLY EAT THAT MUCH BEFORE THAT ITS SO NOTICEABLE NOW WHEN I DONT? ugh sos

---

[Rant/Rave] Unreliable Scale, Fasting, and Stress
/u/mivhi
Created: Wed Jun 8 19:26:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n8jvw/unreliable_scale_fasting_and_stress/
---
I want to talk about a few things.. I'm mostly venting and on mobile so please forgive any formatting errors.

Well, I am on day 2 of a 10 day fast and it's going okay. Hunger isn't an issue for me, but I've been incredibly irritable and charged with negative energy I'm unsure how to dispel. I keep telling myself food won't fix this and I'm probably right.

I'm stressed out and stuck at home which I can't stand.. Feeling this way stresses me out even more because that means my body is holding onto fat, right??? I have no way of knowing, anyhow, since my scale seems to give four different consistent weights for me depending on which cardinal direction it is facing???!?!!! I really don't know why that could possibly be happening, but I'm doing okay just kind of accepting a range of 109-112 even though I REALLY wish I knew what kind of progress I'm making. Don't really want to measure myself just yet; trying just to wait it out since my fast has barely started anyway. My tentative goal is 103 and I guess I'll get a bit more concerned about weighing myself once my body feels/looks better to me.

Yesterday I did about 3 "21 Day Fix" workout videos (250ish calories each) and have been sore all day today. I wanted really badly to do some yoga, but it just hurts too much so I've been napping instead. I went swimming today for a while and that knocked me out in a manageable way. I might do some yoga tonight and hopefully it helps with the stress.

Not sure if anyone is in a similar boat or has any words for me; I'd appreciate whatever.

---

[Other] Weird drunk experience...
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 19:25:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n8jre/weird_drunk_experience/
---
So I have a story for you guys that happened on Friday!

I typically can only lose weight by restricting, it's very hard for me to be able to actually vomit due to different issues. It pretty much takes a LOT for me to actually be able to vomit...

So Friday night I was at my friend's house with my boyfriend and I drank a ton of strawberry vodka (it's always the flavored vodkas that get me...) and I ended up binging and eating a ton of pizza. Literally directly after eating I blacked out and the next thing I knew I was throwing up like crazy in the toilet. Everything I ate was gone. I was extremely confused because of the blacking out, I literally didn't even know how I got to the toilet.

My boyfriend told me that right before I threw up I was having a huge anxiety attack and sobbing....(I'm assuming because I binged? But I literally don't remember)

But, hey, at least I didn't have to really feel too bad about the binge anymore....

I just felt like sharing that experience with you guys because it was pretty confusing for me!

I turn 21 in less than two weeks so I'm assuming many more drunk nights to come...

---

[Rant/Rave] Too much God damn fiber. TMI
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 19:16:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n8ier/too_much_god_damn_fiber_tmi/
---
Well I done goofed. I couldn't take a healthy bm so I started taking three fiber pills a day (recommended dosage on the bottle) and bam, my shit game was strong. Now though I think I have overdone it. 100-500 cal a day the past week, no poo, started period, and no weight loss. Fuuuuuuuuuckkk guys. I am dizzy and bloated and hungry but still the same weight. Gave in and took a laxative today so fingers crossed I magically lose five lbs or I might just cry.

---

[Rant/Rave] This has nothing to do with ED. But I'm depressed and every other subreddit is full of a**holes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 8 19:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n8g4j/this_has_nothing_to_do_with_ed_but_im_depressed/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] [Goal] Finally under 115!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 8 18:38:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n8cef/goal_finally_under_115/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Clean Purge W/out Toothbrush
/u/ricetears [5'3'' | CW:126(-4) GW:115 UGW:110 LW:119| F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 17:31:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n81zy/clean_purge_wout_toothbrush/
---
Just felt really proud of myself for being able to purge without a toothbrush :) It sounds so screwed up as I type this but hey, whatever it takes. Off come those pounds and pounds... and pounds! Bye-bye rolls of fat on my arm! Y'alls advice has really helped me, thanks for all the continued support and open discussion.

---

[Help] Having some odd digestive patterns and farts these last few weeks. (possible TMI) Advice?
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 16:19:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n7pv7/having_some_odd_digestive_patterns_and_farts/
---
Hello everybody,


The last month or so I've been experiencing odd bowel movements, I go multiple times a day and they're like pellets. I've also been experiencing really sulfur like gas which is the main annoyance. They are putrid and the smell lingers. D;


My days range between 800-1000 calories, and here's a very common day of food lately so maybe you guys might see something.


Breakfast: (305 calories total)

-Two tbsp peanut butter (190)

-1 tbsp sugar free jam with fiber (10)

-half cup fiber cereal (60)

-almond milk (30)

-1 tbsp sugar free creamer (15)


Lunch: (241 calories)

-200 grams carrots (41)

-200 grams celery (32)

-2 tbsp yogurt ranch (60)

-2 tbsp hummus (60)

-1 oz lentil chips (50)


Dinner: (160 calories)

-200 grams cauliflower (50)

-100 grams brussel sprouts (60)

-half tbsp oil or butter (50)

(usually this or another tbsp peanut butter)


Snacks: (160 calories)

-dark chocolate (80)

-4 tbsp half & half (80)


Total: 866 calories, 28g protein, 98g carbs, 40g fiber, 52g fat

I Should probably work on my protein. :/


I also probably have one 17 oz zero calorie fizzy drink a day and 5 splenda packets for tea and coffee.


Any of this stick out to any of you? I hate these smelly farts so much.

Edit: forgot water! I drink about 90-100 oz a day

---

[Other] You know you're messed up when healthy and fit people look fat to you
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 15:29:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n7h80/you_know_youre_messed_up_when_healthy_and_fit/
---
Doing a blogilates video, I love her but don't envy Cassey's body. Jillian Michaels could lose a few. Ditto for every other person in every exercise video I watch. I go to the gym and the personal trainers are fat. It's like there's 2 body types to me: Fat and not fat. Healthy and muscular are fat lol. I used to admire these kinds of bodies now I only like bones. I went from fun 'fitspo' land to 'thinspo' and now I'm venturing into dark and treacherous 'bonespo' land. My ED has rotted my brain :(

Edit: Also I want to say some of the personal trainers at my gym actually are fat! Like overweight bmi. Why would I want fitness and diet advice from someone overweight? Don't understand why they are hired...

---

[Help] [Help] Binged, and now I feel like complete shit
/u/consensualturtlesex [5'3 | 121lbs | -5lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 15:22:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n7fup/help_binged_and_now_i_feel_like_complete_shit/
---
So basically as the title says, I lost all control today. Cake, biscuits, sugary tea, ice cream. Calories, calories, calories, upon fucking calories.
I just feel so discouraged, I've worked so hard to lose a few pounds and I've gone and fucked it all up. What do you do in the days after you binge to make yourself feel less like a disgusting pig? I need advice

---

Tips for not being hungry? Not many safe foods at my boyfriends house :(
/u/onionfae
Created: Wed Jun 8 15:12:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n7e1w/tips_for_not_being_hungry_not_many_safe_foods_at/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] The best motivation...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 8 15:04:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n7cnf/the_best_motivation/
---
Is when the guy you like walks you to the bus stop in the pouring rain while sharing an umbrella even though it's the opposite direction of where he's going.

And he flirts.

That's *great*.

I'm EXTREMELY motivated right now. The next time I see him is probably going to be next year after summer break. I'm going to be thin. I'm going to be good enough.

I've decided to shave off 100 calories off my budget, and I skipped lunch today. I'm probably going to skip dinner as well if I can get out of the house.

I'm going to do it, guys.

---

[Other] models eating thread
/u/flowerpotcoffeepot
Created: Wed Jun 8 14:29:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n76fn/models_eating_thread/
---
http://m.imgur.com/e1lnt23

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[Other] models eating thread
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 8 14:19:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n74gd/models_eating_thread/
---
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7l70hqNST1ra1lfvo1_500.gif

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طريقة تغيير خريطة gta sa الي gta v الجزء الثاني #2
/u/asaarr
Created: Wed Jun 8 14:18:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n748f/طريقة_تغيير_خريطة_gta_sa_الي_gta_v_الجزء_الثاني_2/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_IznVbGWGw&feature=share

---

[Discussion] How to show off your progress on FB
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 8 13:30:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n6v8u/how_to_show_off_your_progress_on_fb/
---
Without seeming tacky as fuck. I was planning on jokingly breaking an egg on my abs but nah..

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[Other] Dentist Today
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Wed Jun 8 12:42:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n6m6h/dentist_today/
---
I'm nervous that there might be some damage I haven't noticed. It would be an absolute *disaster* if he sees enamel erosion or whatever, both because a) I like my teeth and b) because my parents would lose their fucking minds.

UPDATE: He didn't notice. I've got a cavity (god*damnit*) but nothing in the way of enamel...still, I'm buying Sensodyne on the way home

---

[Other] If you are what you eat
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 12:20:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n6i0m/if_you_are_what_you_eat/
---
http://i.imgur.com/1fq1KlP.jpg

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 8 10:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n5ret/daily_food_diary_june_08_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 08, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] Help? I need to get a list together to prevent my binges!
/u/wishfulthinkings [5'4" | 133.2 | 23.31 | -40.8]
Created: Wed Jun 8 09:58:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n5qo2/help_i_need_to_get_a_list_together_to_prevent_my/
---
I want to know you methods for preventing binges. I hate my lack of control when I get home. At work I do great. But the minute I get home, I lose and just start to eat everything. So I figured I could ask you peeps what you do to try and stave off a binge episode.

- Drink water

- Take a shower

- Take a walk

- Etc... (I'm gonna start added your suggestions)

- Paint nails

- Face mask

- Take a bath ( I unfortunately don't have a bath)

- Apply make up

- Try on clothes

- Drink tea (green, black, mint, etc...)

- Watch thinspo movies/tv series

- Puzzles (sodoku, rubiks cube, etc...)

- Games (video games, shuffling cards, etc...)

- Drawing/Writing

- Hobbies (Knitting, sewing, etc...)

---

[Discussion] i will never be happy because of my height.
/u/augustfrst [5'6" | 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 09:40:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n5n8n/i_will_never_be_happy_because_of_my_height/
---
i hate my body (who here doesn't?), but can anyone else relate to the misery of also being "average" in height? i'll never be a long, lean model. i'll never be a tiny, petite waif. i'll always be a stupid rectangle, blending into the background like the boring pathetic human i know i am.


even at my lowest weight (103), i still never looked like **they** do. you know, the dreamy girls in all those thinspo albums.


bleh. thanks for letting me vent. any commiserating would be much appreciated.

---

[Rant/Rave] Nearly Fainted...
/u/vhenah [5'7 | 141.8 | 22.13 | -78.2 | MOO]
Created: Wed Jun 8 08:42:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n5cxn/nearly_fainted/
---
I don't restrict to the point where I'm at risk of fainting in my daily life I guess. When I'm at work or at home I feel completely fine - the same as before I started restricting. But I guess I made the mistake of not eating enough before I went out to a concert last night because halfway through I got so hazy and then everything went white. It was so sudden - but the second I drank some water I felt completely fine. (To be honest I probably made the rookie mistake of not drinking enough water that day, I hadn't had any in hours by that point).

So, after the moment passed I was fine - but the thing is I was with my sister and her friend. They were worried to say the least, but now I'm so incredibly anxious because my sister is suspicious now, I'm sure. I've alluded to eating at a calorie deficit (another rookie mistake on my part l m a o) so she's bound to connect the dots sooner or later. I know in the back of my mind that she wouldn't do it to spite me and she's not 'jealous' of my weightloss or anything and what I'm doing IS unhealthy, but I don't want to stop. I really don't care that I nearly fainted because it meant I would be able to look at the scale the next day and feel successful. It's completely fucked but I'm more afraid of stopping or being stopped than I am of anything else right now.

**tldr;** Nearly fainted in front of other people. They're probably suspicious and it's giving me anxiety. I plan on eating/drinking more today, I know my body needs *something*.

---

[Help] It's been a while since I posted/ camping trip advice
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 143.6 | 24.27 | -17.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 07:58:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n55aj/its_been_a_while_since_i_posted_camping_trip/
---
Hey peeps. I haven't been able to keep up with the sub as much as I'd have liked, but I'm definitely back! Been having a hard time with my depression and other neuroses, so I haven't been able to concentrate as much on my ED lol! The scale has barely moved to 152, so about 10 lbs lost total based on my first scale. People keep telling me how great I look, have I lost weight, blah blah blah, but I still don't believe them. I'm 152 at 5'4.5"!!! Eww...
Anyway I'm going on a camping trip at the end of the month I have motivation to lose weight for and look good in pics for my anniversary with SO. We'll go on a 2.5 day road trip and I'll be buying and making us the food for the weekend. What are some good things to make/bring other than fruit that would be good low cal options, but without starving him? Any suggestions welcome... :)

---

[Discussion] I weigh less but I feel fatter.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Jun 8 07:45:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n5361/i_weigh_less_but_i_feel_fatter/
---
So, I weighed in at 113lbs this morning. I had been consistently weighing anywhere from 115-118lbs.

I noticed last night that the one fat wrinkle that drove me back into restricting (sounds dumb, but I'm for real) is back.

When I lay on my side, and pull one knee up, the fat on my hip creases to touch my waist/ribs. It's very uncomfortable for me, for whatever reason, and I really hated it before, and even more now.

It was gone, but now it's back. Now I'm questioning my scale's accuracy. I don't understand how it can disappear, and then reappear! Especially if I'm supposedly weighing less.

I hate freaking out this much about one roll of fat, but goddamnit it sucks.

If anyone has any suggestions as to why this roll would appear again after loosing weight, they would be appreciated.

---

[Discussion] What are your body checking methods?
/u/pretentiousintrovert [5'6 | 159# | FML | -12#]
Created: Wed Jun 8 07:34:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n51b2/what_are_your_body_checking_methods/
---
Like measuring arm circumference by making a circle with the fingers on your opposite hand? I invented a method for tracking my thigh size but realized it's really inconsistent

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[Discussion] Vegans of proED, what does your grocery list look like?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Wed Jun 8 07:33:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n5164/vegans_of_proed_what_does_your_grocery_list_look/
---
I'm gonna give veganism another shot (it made me feel great, stopped because of very low cal restricting and fear of protein deficiency because I was eating like 3-6 grams of protein a day)

So far I have:

Soy milk (I prefer almond but I can't find them in any stores near me for some reason)

Salsa

Tortillas

Vegetables

Fruit

Oatmeal

I'm gonna try and avoid pasta/rice/bread this time. I will probably only eat brown rice (but only small quantities).

Do you also have any tips for me? Thank you!! <3

Edit: hey guys, thank you so much for your suggestions! I'll definitely try some of these out :)

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[Discussion] Is anyone on here Ortha/Body Fat Ana / Healthy Ana
/u/Skinny-Girl-Dreaming [5'3 | 112lbs | BMI 20.39 | -5 | F | GW 101lbs]
Created: Wed Jun 8 06:57:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n4vky/is_anyone_on_here_orthabody_fat_ana_healthy_ana/
---
Because I think thats where I fit in.
My actual weight and BMI don't concern me as much as my BF% - which considering how flabby I look right now I'm not even bothering to work out.

Plus Its usually not as much about how little I eat, although I do restrict to between 500-1200 on alternating days. (i've just started my skinny journey again though) but what I eat, I try to get lots of nutrients and vitamins by eating good quality food when I do eat. 5 plus fruit and veg a day ect.

Although I skipped breakfast today, I had a 250 calorie lunch of a home made soy milk, banana and blueberry smoothie.

Thinking I will have a dinner of boiled spinach, tomatoes, garden peas and sliced bell peppers, cooked in spices and thickened with a bit of mayo. Not sure what the calorie count on that would be yet but if anyone wants to know I will work it out. x

---

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday June 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 8 06:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n4nvo/way_to_go_wednesday_june_08_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for June 08, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

How to get back on track? :c
/u/kolleeflowerr_ [162| 52 | 20.24 | 5 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 05:50:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n4m94/how_to_get_back_on_track_c/
---
I was fine eating under 200-300 calories a few weeks ago but then I visited my relatives and they convinced me that weight doesn't matter- I'm still 49% convinced, though.
I know it's as simple to just not eat but that isn't what goes through my mind when I have 4 slices of toast on my plate and downing my third.
Recently, I end up eating 1000-2000 calories and end up feeling like pure sh*t afterwards. I tell myself I can get in control tomorrow, I keep writing down reasons why I'll stop overeating, and keep making rules for myself.
I don't get hungry (I only eat when I'm bored, and I'm bored every hour of the day) my parents don't mind if I miss dinner for two weeks straight. So the only problems, I guess, is just that I'm procrastinating + bored.
Any words are appreciated.

---

[Help] Going Stateside - Food advice?
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 05:22:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n4ino/going_stateside_food_advice/
---
So I am going on holiday next week to America. Super excited about the holiday, but worried about the lack of exercise I will get to do on the travel days (15 hours travel each way) and I won't be able to weigh myself either. It's also a bit scary as I don't have 'safe' menu choices for US restaurants and I won't be familiar with some of the supermarket food brands.

Can anyone recommend their favorite meals out/food brands/any low cal options? I would really appreciate anything you can suggest. I will be with family/friends so I can't be too obvious about restricting. And I am vegetarian.

Thanks x

---

[Help] Im down 20lbs since December but now i have loose skin
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 8 00:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n3pln/im_down_20lbs_since_december_but_now_i_have_loose/
---
I've pretty much managed to stop my binge /purge cycles and I'm not even actively restricting... like im not counting calories. I know im not eating anywhere near as many calories as i used to, but i honestly have no idea what im averaging... but im down to 115.7... great. Only. Loose skin. Wtf. How do i get rid of this shit???? I wanted to like my body :( i look fine in clothes but the minute they come off i look like a deflated balloon. :(


How long till it goes away? Fuuuuuuck.

---

[Goal] Didn't even think about my cal goal
/u/onionfae
Created: Tue Jun 7 22:01:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n36om/didnt_even_think_about_my_cal_goal/
---
but I'm way under 200 and ready to stop eating for the day, Persian cucumbers are the best

---

[Other] Sex while hungry.
/u/bodydystopia [5'6" | 27.3 | 29.3 | FtM]
Created: Tue Jun 7 21:57:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n369d/sex_while_hungry/
---
I had sex while hungry, a caloric deficit of 1,100 hungry.

It was amazing. I could forget about my hunger and just act on another primal urge. Plus, the thought that I am burning calories (like 10-30, but still) and that I am getting skinnier made me so... Can I say the h-word for rowdy on here?

Haha anyway, I'm loopy as f right now and just wanted to share. I'm so light headed. Orgasms were great, it was like being high.

I never want to eat again.

---

[Thinspo] My First THINSPO Album!
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 21:35:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n3385/my_first_thinspo_album/
---
Currently all my favourite thinspo photos. Can you tell I have a leg obsession? Hahaha, hope you lovelies enjoy!

http://m.imgur.com/a/Rgyqd

---

[Rant/Rave] I feel weak but with no excuse.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 7 21:35:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n3383/i_feel_weak_but_with_no_excuse/
---
[deleted]

---

[Thinspo] My first thinspo album!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 7 21:27:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n321z/my_first_thinspo_album/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Is this real life?!?!
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Tue Jun 7 21:19:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n30ul/is_this_real_life/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Va5vbBG.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] Stressed/excited about cooking for others and having others grocery shop for me.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -38 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 20:25:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n2suy/stressedexcited_about_cooking_for_others_and/
---
I'm going to be an au pair in September for at least a year. I love the family I chose and think it will be great.

A few nights per week, I'm to prepare dinner. I'm fine with this because I can cook and love to make food. It'll be for a family of 5 and that means I get to make a lot.

I'm concerned because I know my ED brain will get in the way sometimes. I'm worried I'll make too much or too little or something. I'm super picky and what if they expect me to eat with them? I can't fake a big lunch every single day. I'll have to come up with some excuse.

The mother also wants me to give her a list each week of what I want at the store. Ha, no way. Can you imagine the list?

* 18 packs of sugar-free gum

* Plain oatmeal

* Stare at the pastry section for 20 minutes

* Walk up and down each aisle at least 3 times

* Fill your cart, stress out, and leave without buying anything

I'm going to have to ask her if I can just have that money added to my pay and shop myself. I'm not sure how to reason it to her. Maybe that I just enjoy shopping or I'm picky or whatever.

It seems so silly that food is the thing that's stressing me out. I'm moving across the globe with a strange family and it's the fucking dinner I'm worrying about.

---

[Intro] General Intro and Questions, Advice Request
/u/ricetears [5'3'' | CW:126(-4) GW:115 UGW:110 LW:119| F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 19:38:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n2ljg/general_intro_and_questions_advice_request/
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Hi all,

I just discovered this sub last month, ghosted for a bit, and have finally come here to ask for advice. So far I've managed to dodge all suspicion of bulimia because I only purge when my parents aren't at home or before I shower with the water running. Fortunately I've managed to restrict how often I purge so things haven't gotten totally out of control yet, and I'm kind of nervous about leaving any digital trail so I'm using my alternate account just to be safe. Some questions:

1. How do I minimize damage to my body long-run? I only know you're not supposed to brush your teeth after you purge and to gargle with water.

2. Any good binge foods you'd recommend? I have little control over the food selection, but my family frequents Costco and I could ask my parents for any food I want.

3. Sometimes the order of food in my stomach changes? I ate a broccoli salad for lunch and then binged on cookies about two hours later, but when I threw up the cookies came first, then the salad, then cookies again.

4. How do you know when to stop throwing up? Sometimes I get dry heaves even though I know I still have food in my stomach.

5. How do you throw up more quickly? Throwing up for me takes a lot of effort; I usually throw up mouthfuls and the occasional stream but would like to be able to throw up more quickly in one or two heaves. So far looking up and drinking salt water or other assorted concoctions has not worked; pinching at the waist has.

6. I'm going to go to a summer program at a college in a few days' time with dorm food; how do I throw up in a college bathroom without alerting other people? I use my toothbrush and poke around a bit to throw up, and it'd be pretty suspicious if I brought my toothbrush to the bathroom after every meal.

Thanks guys.

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[Intro] College advice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 7 19:28:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n2jx2/college_advice/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Tea, tea, and more tea
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 17:53:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n24z1/tea_tea_and_more_tea/
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I know so many of us are obsessed with tea. What are your favorite teas to drink cold? So many that I like to drink hot on snowy or rainy days taste awful cold haha

It currently feels like I am living behind Satan's sweaty ball sack so I have been obsessively cold brewing teas. I always have a pitcher of green tea and a pitcher of black tea in my fridge. I use "fill your own" tea bags for loose leaf (cant remember the brand, too tired to move).

My current go-tos are:

- tiesta tea slenderizer fruity pebbles

- taylors earl grey leaf

- green tea with jasmine flowers (i got them both from a local loose leaf shop - the young couple is really cute and they are always traveling Asia to find their favorite sources)

- black peach tea (from my grandma, from some shop near her)

- twinings lady grey

- stash green and black chai

- matcha (cant remember and too lazy to look at the brand i get of that too haha amazon ftw) in single-dose batches in a refillable water bottle

I drive my husband nuts taking up the fridge space (he hates tea) but I drink so much tea throughout the day I rarely think about eating. Plus my skin has been glowing lately C: bonusss

Edit: formatting

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[Help] What would be the effects of eating all my calories in one meal when my daily intake is 800?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 17:28:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n20ui/what_would_be_the_effects_of_eating_all_my/
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I've been doing this for the past few days - basically 800 calories of filling stuff is enough to make me feel sick and full for hours. I eat it for dinner. This has made restricting a lot easier, especially when I drink coffee in the morning. Will there be any ill effects from eating this many calories at once over a long period of time? Like, I'm specifically worried my stomach will expand over time.

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[Other] I was having a bad day today, and so like the pathetic loser I am, decided to talk to Siri on my iPhone...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 7 15:33:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n1hbq/i_was_having_a_bad_day_today_and_so_like_the/
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[deleted]

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[Other] "Wow, you've lost weight! How did you do it?"
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Jun 7 15:16:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n1e87/wow_youve_lost_weight_how_did_you_do_it/
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"Oh, you know, just cutting back on fast food and since work is keeping me busy I can only eat three times a day."

~says me with shaking hands because I'm fasting~

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[Thinspo] Who do you follow on instagram for thinspo?
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 15:08:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n1cm2/who_do_you_follow_on_instagram_for_thinspo/
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I mean instagram models, not healthy food accounts, etc.

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[Rant/Rave] recovery & relapse
/u/lilaclia [5'4" | 114.8 | 19.7 | -8 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 14:46:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n18ja/recovery_relapse/
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I was doing really well in recovery and eating raw till 4. I started trusting foods again and I only gained 3 pounds even though for a while it felt like 15.

Now I'm back home and I'm relapsing. I'm not even mad about it; it's kind of comforting, actually. The biggest reason I'm not in recovery anymore is because my environment is constantly triggering me.

My mom told me she started using a standing desk for work and she thinks it's helping her "not get fat".

My SO started intermittent fasting so I listen to his stomach growl for half the day.

My mom said to me about someone trying to eat clean to lose weight: "You can eat too many calories even from clean calories."

One night my mom asked me, "What should we have for dinner? I wasn't even planning on eating dinner tonight."

That last one echoed in my head for at least 2 days. I started taking diet pills again and restricting. I just needed to vent and get it out there.

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[Discussion] For those of you that exercise frequently, how do you fit in time for it?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Tue Jun 7 14:39:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n175f/for_those_of_you_that_exercise_frequently_how_do/
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I suppose the obvious answer is that you just make time because it's important, but after work and taking care of the stuff I have to after work (errands, cleaning, dinner) I find it really hard to get any exercise in. Any tips?

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[Discussion] I'm in the market for bouillon. What are your favorites?
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Tue Jun 7 14:20:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n13on/im_in_the_market_for_bouillon_what_are_your/
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Go!

Update: Thank you all for your help!! I marched my happy ass down to Whole Foods and bought a ton of broth, bouillon cubes, stock, and also some little gelatin packets- which make a richer "soup" and contribute an additional 7g protein with only 30 cals each. I'm set for while! :D

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[Other] Thank you for the tiny reminders and strength through the day.
/u/Rave-light
Created: Tue Jun 7 14:20:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n13mg/thank_you_for_the_tiny_reminders_and_strength/
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Every time a thread pops up on my front. It's like tiny hugs from you guys and remind me to focus.

I just threw up a unnecessary cookie. It felt great.

Stay lovely. xx

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[Goal] Time to get back in the game
/u/Skinny-Girl-Dreaming [5'3 | 112lbs | BMI 20.39 | -5 | F | GW 101lbs]
Created: Tue Jun 7 13:55:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n0yui/time_to_get_back_in_the_game/
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i have gotten very gross recently, I saw my stomach this morning (I carry weight on my lower belly quite a lot)... and I literally looked like a pregnant lady, It was foul, I have no shape, no definition, just too much fat in too many places.

I feel like an absolute fuck-face for not shedding the weight in time for summer and cropped tops, because I want to feel good about myself but guess that wont happen now. I hate me a lot right now. I just want to look cute in a bikini dammit. :(

I hate that I have no self-control any more, it makes me so mad at myself, I drink too much sugary tea and eat to many fats and not enough proteins.

I would really love some support, do you guys think I can shed the 11 lbs I need to quickly enough or have i basically just ruined my summer? so much anxiety right now I am considering completely fasting but that isn't a good idea, because starvation mode and that. :'(

I've been switching in and out of ana and mia for most of my life, HW was 128lbs, CW is 119, and LW was 92. I just hate my so called 'healthy' body, I carry fat in the ugliest most hideous places, my lower belly is the worst thing about me.

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[Help] Can't stop eating, please help :(
/u/Pannkakspizzamedfisk [5'8.5" | 133lbs/60kg| 20 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 13:13:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n0r0d/cant_stop_eating_please_help/
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Do any of you have any tips for what to do when you get a period where you don't care about what you eat at all. Or more like a feeling of "who cares? I look this way and a [food] won't change my looks too much." I feel guilty afterwards, but not guilty enough to stop me. My calorie intake has been at least 100-1000 kcals over my daily goal the last week(s).

Do you have a special saying or advice that helps you from eating too much or eating unhealthy? I've tried a few things, but nothing helped me majorly. Thank you for reading

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[Rant/Rave] I think I am unintentionally teaching my friend disordered eating.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Jun 7 12:02:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n0d8o/i_think_i_am_unintentionally_teaching_my_friend/
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I met my friend at work, we have cubicles right next to each other, and we hang out outside of work.

Ever since I was open to her about my ED and how much I've lost (LW: 98ish) she's been fasting and counting calories.

It's somewhat nice to have someone to talk to about it, and not be worried about being judged. I don't tell her about anything too risky, like my lax abuse or starving for days and what not.

But.. I kinda feel selfish cause I'm glad to have a real life person to talk to. But I really don't want her to end up being unhealthy because of me..

Ugh, I suck.

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[Discussion] Does anyone use Lose It! Premium? Is it worth the money to upgrade or should I stick with the (free) Basic account?
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 10:59:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n0199/does_anyone_use_lose_it_premium_is_it_worth_the/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4n0199/does_anyone_use_lose_it_premium_is_it_worth_the/

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[Rant/Rave] My therapist told me a method to combat obsessive ED thoughts. I'm using it to combat hunger.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 10:06:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mzrp2/my_therapist_told_me_a_method_to_combat_obsessive/
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I feel so fucked up for this. I'm not going to post the method in this post because I honestly don't want to make anyone sicker. (Obviously it's not some miracle method, but I can't bring myself to allow anyone to get sicker if I can prevent it.) But like... he told me the method so I could better combat my thoughts related to my weight and my disordered eating; instead I'm using it to combat my thoughts of *wanting to eat*.

This honestly excites me, though. It excites me to have this method that makes restricting so much easier. And it excites me to do this fucked up thing. It makes me feel sicker, and that is validating. It validates the pain I feel.

I just wanted to talk about this... This mixture of excitement and guilt is something I feel like this sub could understand.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 7 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mzqzu/daily_food_diary_june_07_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for June 07, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] When you're in another country and the only way your mom can show she loves you is threw food -_-
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 08:57:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mzfqw/when_youre_in_another_country_and_the_only_way/
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http://imgur.com/F7uV6ju

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[Rant/Rave] Vacation-Motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jun 7 08:00:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mz5xj/vacationmotivation/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] People are noticing!
/u/brokenCosmos [5'7" | fat as hell | - 20 | GW: 99 | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 07:22:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mz03n/people_are_noticing/
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Okay, some background first: I switched schools a month ago or so, and I had to come back to return my books the other day. I started trying to lose weight again right after I left. Since then, I've lost about 12 pounds.

So, I go to return my French textbook and my teacher says I look 'so great!'. That feels nice, but it could refer to anything, not my weight loss. After I leave my friends tell me how people kept talking about how I'm looking so much thinner! One girl told my friend how I was 'so skinny now', despite me still being super fat. It really was a huge confidence boost and inspired me to keep going! I can't believe so many people noticed when I lost so little weight. Compliments are great thinspo.

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[Help] Support and advice welcome, two issues and I would be very grateful for your thoughts everyone. Some TMI.
/u/enchanted_objects-1 [5'4" | 144.6 | 24.8 | 58lb since 2012. am yoyo. | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 06:46:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4myuqg/support_and_advice_welcome_two_issues_and_i_would/
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Heya,
I'm sorry to put up a full post, but I very much need some advice. One is practical and a little urgent and gross, the other emotional.

Problem One:

I went high protein, and it was going so well for me I overdid it. Now I can't go, and I am so bloated.

-I've been hitting 2 litres of water a day for the last 4 days.

-I've added yoghurt and soluble fibre, as well as eaten a couple of plates of veggies, which just made my tummy hurt.

I've hit day 4 and I still can't go. Any advice? I'm sorry for the TMI but I'm starting to get really anxious about it. The last time I tried active laxitives, I had tearing and I'm reluctant to go there immediately.

How do you regulate generally, and how long do you usually go between BM's? I used to go every day, but that's back when I was a lot bigger. when things are ok, now it's every 3 days, but I have no idea of the "normal" benchmark.

Two:
So, my SO has been phenomenally supportive- he helps me track my cals, has gone above and beyond to help me with things if I'm not feeling well, and has been helping me manage my supplement/mild stimulant dosages.

Except... I'm a bit irrational. Despite multiple years of trying to clean up my eating habits and body, I had years and years of binge habits, and used to be almost 200lbs. Despite all the work I have done, my hunger signals haven't adjusted at all, and between being hangry and the stims I am... not totally emotionally balanced.

My SO has started deliberately not responding to things that he thinks might upset me, by either subject changing or avoidance. I talked to him about it after it came to a head on the weekend- we were meant to play a game, and I was in for something he plays often but I never have. Usually, he guides me through these things, but this time, he hung back and let our friend show me, even though I was becoming increasingly frustrated as I couldn't figure it all out (it's very complex).

I managed to keep my cool, and just begged off after an hour and a half, and went to go play the tutorial.
I asked him (calmly) about it later, and he admitted that when I get upset I can be really hard to deal with, and that he's intentionally been avoiding upsetting me. And that it sucked of him to avoid helping when I was obviously calm and trying, but he just didn't want to deal with it.

So, I've been trying very hard to remain calm, and listen, and not trigger finger react over the last couple of days.

I've picked out that I have trouble holding my calm if my food routine is interrupted, I have a bad sleep, or the scale goes up unexpectedly. It's particularly difficult when three bad things happen in a row.

But how do you manage to emotionally regulate better? I used to be very easy to live with, and this is killing me a little bit. I can't bear him being unable to talk to me properly because I'm losing my regulation and he's anxious.

I'd love to hear your thoughts, and I can clarify anything relevant for you.

Thanks so much!

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A June 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jun 7 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4myovg/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_june_07_2016/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Other] Two small wins in one day :)
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 04:31:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mye1o/two_small_wins_in_one_day/
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So it's not big but it really made my day!

First off: Lost 1kg and kept it off for a week! I know it's a really small amount and that I have MANY more to loose, but since I have been at a stand still for a good 6 months this really just motivated the hell out me! I CAN loose, there is still hope! :D

Secondly: I went to buy snus (I don't know how to explain it but its almost as chewing tobacco?) Anyway, the age requirement for tobacco products here is 18 years old. And the cashier was this young (20-ish) cute girl, and she asked for ID! I'm 32!!
So at the moment I feel young and fresh, and starting (slowly) to get thinner! Really motivated me!

Hope all you lovelies have good day too! :D <3

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[Rant/Rave] just got my new license in the mail (petty little rant)
/u/turnonmyrighthand [4'9 | 86lb | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 04:11:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mybxg/just_got_my_new_license_in_the_mail_petty_little/
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I hate seeing "100lb" printed out on the damn thing. it looks so big. im not even in triple digits and havent been for a while (i fluctuate from 90-95 which i realize is pretty much 100 haha) but listing my weight as 95 sounded like a stupid idea since its so specific? idk. so i rounded it to 100. I cant wait to be at 80. its my big goal. sigh... that number looks so pretty to me

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[Rant/Rave] Losing my rational understanding of food completely
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | how can I have fat wrists?! | -29lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 02:39:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4my3hj/losing_my_rational_understanding_of_food/
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Tomorrow, I'll get up, eat the half banana I have sitting in the fridge, relax a bit, go for a two hour bike ride, clean up, maybe have a brevé at a coffee shop while reading/writing/flirting, then I will come back to my apartment and maybe drink another 100-200 kcal, feel guilty for it, draw/write, and contemplate consuming some low cal iron or protein. I'm so far into my ED again that that list of food sounds like more than enough to fuel a person for the day I plan. I have just enough rationality left to notice my loss of rationality. It's gotten to the point where I've been arguing with people that drinking a brevé counts as eating because I'm consuming about 300 kcal of steamed half and half. I am worried but calm as I lose all ability to experience hunger again.

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[Help] Fitbit Calorie Deficit - does it work for you?
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 02:01:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mxzyj/fitbit_calorie_deficit_does_it_work_for_you/
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Hey perfectionists

So I use Fitbit as my main diet app (but also track weight on Happy Scale and My Net Diary) so I log all my food on fitbit and I have it set to a 1000 calorie deficit. I try to stay under 1000 calories a day and never exceed the amount of calories my fitbit tells me I can have. In fact each day for the last 3 weeks I have been under the recommended calories, bringing my deficit up to 1500 - 2000 calories a day.

Yesterday for example I went to the gym and burnt 500 calories, and worked. I walked a bunch (18,000 steps) and fitbit told me I could eat 1800 calories and still meet my 1000 calorie deficit. I only ate 1050 calories.

So I don't know why I am maintaining at 138. Saturday I gained 1lb in waterweight and flushed it out. But other than that I have maintained. I weigh and check calories for everything so I don't think I am missing anything I am eating/drinking. And I am avoiding carbs and salt.

Has anyone else had this problem? should I just ignore fitbit calorie intake recommendations? I try to high calorie restrict to avoid going into a fast/binge/purge cycle but I am so sick of maintaining my fat ass maybe lowering my calories some more is the only way. Would be great to find out how someone else has dealt with this

Thanks x

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[Help] How to make her stop asking what I ate?
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | FAT AF | Binging is shite | 21 / F]
Created: Tue Jun 7 01:30:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mxwou/how_to_make_her_stop_asking_what_i_ate/
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So, my parents know about my ED, as I had two (one of them quite massive) breakdowns because of it

So now, my mother always asks me what I have eaten that day, which itself it rather annoying, but she always stares at me angrily as if I didn't eat just to annoy her

Or when I say I don't want to eat something, she has the same angry stare and says something like 'but you will eat the potato to your fish!' or some shite like that

Also when I said I don't drink anymore, she did the same and asked 'Why?????!!'

I told her that trying to make me eat will only make it worse, that it is not the solution for my problems, but rather making the problem worse, but apparently she ignores that

But hey, she also thinks that me binging is something good, so it would weigh out the restricting

She also wants to talk about the reasons for my ED constantly, and want to rationalise my thoughts, as if she was a psychologist, when in fact she has no clue about eating disorders and has no idea how to handle it

I have to really fight with her, to make her stop asking about it, I mean I know she only wants to help me, but how do I make her stop, make her understand that she only makes it worse, and not better? I am looking for a therapist atm anyway, so it is so unnecessary for her to try and help me

I even had to tell her that just because I know that I have an ED, and know why I have an ED, I won't just start eating normally again, that is not how it works, if it was that easy I would not have an ED in the first place, it is not a disicion

Just that I had to tell her that should be enough to see that she has no clue what she is talking about when she tries to 'help' me

blimey I'm sorry how this turned into a rant

tl;dr: how do I make my mother stop asking me about what I ate that day, and make her stop trying to talk about my ED or 'help' me??? It is rather stressful

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[Help] Tips for plateaus?
/u/kaleidoshock
Created: Mon Jun 6 20:40:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mwvjn/tips_for_plateaus/
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I'm at a plateau right now (I think) and I've been like this for about a week. I'm constantly panicking because I feel like I'm not losing as fast as I should. Any ideas on how to kick my body back into fat burning mode? I'm lost.

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[Discussion] Like an animal fights its enemy to kill it....
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 19:57:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mwoq2/like_an_animal_fights_its_enemy_to_kill_it/
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I fight my appetite to kill it.

This metaphor occurred to me in the car on the way to the gym during one of my deluded-restriction fueled self-talk episodes. In my head I was saying "fight it, fight it, fight it, fuck you fuck you fuck you" to my nagging appetite. I was reminding myself "if you fight the binge tonight, your appetite will be gone tomorrow...it will die."

And thus, fight your appetite to death. Be the victor. I never thought of it like this before, that you can fight to the death. Just have to fight hard enough because the appetite is a strong fucking enemy who takes a while to kill. But it does die.

Maybe I'm crazy right now, idk, my friend made home-made sangria and I'm two cups in. In other news, Trainwreck with Amy Schumer is fucking hilarious <3

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[Help] Going Vegan With An Ed?
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 18:34:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mwabq/going_vegan_with_an_ed/
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So I've been a pescatarian for several years now, I one day just decided to cut out all land animals, completely cold turkey and never looked back. I've now finally decided I want to become completely vegan... something I've been thinking about for a long time now!

I just want to know how those of you who are vegan in this sub manage? Have you found it cut down your amount of binges because you had less options? Has it been hard? Do you follow any vegan vloggers or are you inspired by anyone on social media? Any info is welcome!

Thank you lovelies

*edit : grammar

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[Help] My boyfriend tries to make me eat a lot more since we have moved in together.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 6 18:31:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mw9y2/my_boyfriend_tries_to_make_me_eat_a_lot_more/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] HUNDRED FIVE ONE FUCKING ZERO FIVE
/u/kalefackcal [174 cm/ 5'8 | 47.6 KG/105 pounds | 15.7]
Created: Mon Jun 6 18:09:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mw64r/hundred_five_one_fucking_zero_five/
---
I don't know why, but with fasting and exercise (and, ok, some dehydration, I have to be honest, BUT I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW), now I am 105 POUNDS.

19 days ago, I was 5'8 and 118 pounds. NOW, I'M 105. 105. I FEEL FUCKING HAPPY.

---

[Help] Nausea
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 15:38:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mvfxl/nausea/
---
I've made a post like this before, but it was quite some time ago and I'm hoping for fresh perspective.

I get nauseated really easily when I'm in a heavy restricting cycle. I get motion sick at the best of times and need to transit to and from work every day, I have chronically low blood pressure and get light headed and faint, but the nausea is the fucking worst. It's tolerable on weekends when I don't have to do anything, but when I have to be at work and am expected to not be running to the bathroom to dry heave constantly it's a bit of a problem. I left work at lunch today because it was really unbearable, and I don't want my body punishing me for making progress.

Does anyone else get nauseated like this? What do you do to stop it?

---

[Rant/Rave] Ya'll, I am so confused aka faulty scales
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Mon Jun 6 15:35:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mvfjj/yall_i_am_so_confused_aka_faulty_scales/
---
So for the past weekend, I ate under 700 calories a day yet I saw no weight change. I'm confused because usually I'm able to drop a pound a day. But somehow, I went up half a pound.

I weighed myself this morning (117 lbs). Then I went to the doctors and weighed myself (117) but the doctor said their scale was off by 5 pounds, meaning she said I was 112 lbs. I was thinking that was bull. So I asked to use their BMI scale thing which told me I was 115 pounds.

Ya'll, I'm so confused. I have no idea what weight I actually and and it's driving me mad. I feel so bloated and fat that I don't actually think I'm 115 lbs. I can't tell if I just feel that way because I chewed gum today and my stomach is upset though.

I just wanted to rant to people who would understand, lol.

---

[Tip] Sorry if this is a stupid post...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 6 15:23:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mvddi/sorry_if_this_is_a_stupid_post/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Vent but not vent
/u/wishfulthinkings [5'4" | 133.2 | 23.31 | -40.8]
Created: Mon Jun 6 15:17:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mvc87/vent_but_not_vent/
---
I recently got a new job (supposedly the job of my dreams). I love everything about my job and what I do. It's the perfect mix of restaurant industry/art/office job. There are a million perks.


 


**The vent part:**

I am training under someone who has the ability to make me feel worthless every time I mess up. Every time I go to her with questions I always feel so stupid but every time I try to take the initiative to figure it out, she yells and me for not going to her. Currently she is pregnant so obviously her hormones are make her irritable as fuck and everybody is walking around on eggshells around her. Thing is, she is really good at her job and I truly want to learn as much as I can from her but this is so hard. I am so close to tears everyday. My boss tells me she is typically like this and to not take it personally because they all put with it because she is soooo badass at collecting payment from customers who aren't paying. My boss also says that I should expect at least a year to get fully trained and to lower my personal expectations. It's just so hard with my trainer...sigh...


 


**The not vent part:**

I've lost almost 10 pounds getting this job. Every time I royally fuck up, I get too upset to eat and I stop thinking about bingeing and just think about how to make myself feel worse for being so incompetent.

---

Fasting
/u/qwertylooping [5' 3" | LW 107 | CW: dory speaks my language]
Created: Mon Jun 6 14:58:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mv8rl/fasting/
---
[removed]

---

[Discussion] Looking for movie inspiration
/u/24moredays [5'1 | 120lbs | 22.7 | -64lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 14:46:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mv6iq/looking_for_movie_inspiration/
---
Someone mentioned Black Swan and I've never seen it so I'm going to go home today and watch it while my SO is at work and use that as motivation. What are some other good movies that motivate restriction?

---

[Help] Bruises EVERYWHERE
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Jun 6 14:41:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mv5id/bruises_everywhere/
---
I got my iron levels tested and they were normal but my legs and arms look like I've gotten run over by a truck twenty times.

Does anyone else expierence this? What to do?

---

[Tip] My favorite low calorie lunch!
/u/xshinystickerx [Height 5'0" | CW 107 | BMI 20 | Weight Lost 15lbs | UGW 95]
Created: Mon Jun 6 14:32:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mv3vj/my_favorite_low_calorie_lunch/
---
For anyone who loves fish, this is a must try. I buy frozen tilapia, take 2 filets and do cracked pepper and salt, with lemon juice. Put that in a pan with light olive oil and cook it for like 8 minutes. It is super simple and filling and it is only 60 Calories every 4 oz. With the two tilapias it roughly comes out to 6 oz.

---

[Rant/Rave] My loose skin means I'll never look skinny.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Mon Jun 6 14:06:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4muyx4/my_loose_skin_means_ill_never_look_skinny/
---
Even clothed, the mass of the loose skin is just enough to appear as a bulging tummy, and obscures my upper thigh gap too. I know I have one, as it is visible under the skin, but in the most important place.. it's filled with wrinkled, hanging skin that looks like flab.

I wish I knew how skinny I was underneath it, now. How I *really* look, without it.

Can't afford surgery either. Even if I could, I'd probably be too afraid to get it. I hate the thought of pain and risk.

No matter how well I do, how thin I get, I will never look like that. Doesn't stop me though.

I am so jealous (but not in a nasty way <3) of all your beautiful tight-skinned selfies.

**Edit:** Guys, *don't* give me advice on what to do about loose skin please. I've read it all, of course. Yes, I work out. Yes, I'm a lifter and strength train. Yes, I do compound lifts, I work my abs. Yes, I do cardio too. I have too much loose skin for anything to make much difference (see my stats and weight loss) and people throwing advice at me as if I can fix it with 'just a little effort' when I have this sheer amount - and put loads of effort in anyway - honestly just makes it worse. I didn't ask for advice. I've looked everything up already. I'm doing everything already. I will still have loose skin.

---

[Discussion] When is your largest meal of the day eaten?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jun 6 14:04:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4muyiz/when_is_your_largest_meal_of_the_day_eaten/
---
I feel like if I eat my largest meal at lunch, it is easier for me to stay on track. If I try to eat a large dinner instead, and snacks/fasting through the day, I WILL EAT EVERYTHING IN FUCKING SIGHT.

What works best for you? and what is your go to, "most filling/least calorie" meal?

---

[Intro] Do I belong here?
/u/bodydystopia [5'6" | 27.3 | 29.3 | FtM]
Created: Mon Jun 6 12:40:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4muihb/do_i_belong_here/
---
I know it's a stupid question, and I'm not trying to glorify but please hear me out.

I'm very scared. I've lost 24lbs and with every pound lost I feel myself glowing with control. It's a feeling that emanates from deep within myself. It's a morbid sense of self-satisfaction to see how long I can go without eating, to see how many pounds I can lose in a day or in a week.

Even though I am by no means skinny, as I am in the upper ranges of healthy by bmi standards finally, I want to go further. I feel like I can eventually fit into children's clothes if I have enough discipline, as it has gotten me this far. All I have to do is not eat and force my body to move.

I feel like I have a healthy degree of confidence but everything is very weight-centered now. I feel like if I can control my inches and number on the scale then I can control my life- that I am going in the right direction. Everything is clearer when I go 12-24 hours without eating, but of course I get dizzy after any longer than that.

I love not eating because I'm deathly afraid of going out of control. I know that when I put food up to my lips I might not be able to stop, so I'd rather just not do it. I don't want to be fat again. Things are so much better now that I've lost weight and it can only get better for me, right? I just desperately do not want to end up on fat people hate or anything like that. I think I would honestly kill myself via starvation.

Please don't judge me. You guys are the first people I've ever told this to and I don't want to let anyone else know, which is also why I made this account. I'm 25 and live alone so it's really easy to do this, but also really easy to binge. I feel like I've finally found a community here where I can be myself, as terrible as that is.

Thank you guys.
-bodydystopia

---

[Rant/Rave] My gf is skinnier than me :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 6 12:37:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4muhvn/my_gf_is_skinnier_than_me/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] Finally some abs peeking out at the beach, not flexing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 6 12:33:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4muh6s/finally_some_abs_peeking_out_at_the_beach_not/
---
http://imgur.com/u03f0Ie

---

[Thinspo] Why is no one talking about this.. ?!
/u/princessxpixie [5"4.5 | 104lbs | 17.5 | -29lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Jun 6 12:22:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4muf6k/why_is_no_one_talking_about_this/
---
Ariana grande is like my major thinspo i dont know if she is for anyone else. Shes just so petite and skinny and shes just released 2 knew song videos and i'm just watching them over and over and i watch them every time i want to eat. Shes so beautiful 😍

---

[Goal] 5'4... Just weighed in at 107.8
/u/onionfae
Created: Mon Jun 6 11:31:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mu5h0/54_just_weighed_in_at_1078/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/de4f072c364d486da005c83acc64bfa7?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=dbcd8cdd01d90fafd6da8f190c362644

---

[Discussion] What vitamins/supplements do you take? Anything you recommend taking or avoiding?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Mon Jun 6 10:52:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtxw6/what_vitaminssupplements_do_you_take_anything_you/
---
I never used to be someone who cared about taking vitamins or supplements. If you had asked me a year ago, I would have told you they were basically snakeoil and a waste of money. For some reason though, I've been really getting interested in them lately. Money's always tight for me, so I can only buy cheap ones or ones on massive clearance, but I'm starting to build up quite a collection.

At the moment, I take these every day:

* Standard multivitamin

* Iron

* Magnesium

* Niacin

* Chromium

* Alfalfa

* Raspberry Ketones

I have no idea what the alfalfa, chromium, or niacin should actually be doing for me. I looked them up, but there seem to be mixed reviews on efficacy.

The raspberry ketones were on megaclearance so I figured I'd try them. It's probably just psychosomatic, but I swear they really work for me. Totally reduce my appetite and give me energy.

Anything you've taken that you've found helped either in weight loss, energy, or just overall good health?

---

[Tip] PSA: Take your iron supplements!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 6 10:51:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtxoq/psa_take_your_iron_supplements/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Where is a good place to get thinspo posters ?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 10:14:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtqf6/where_is_a_good_place_to_get_thinspo_posters/
---
I want thinspo posters in my room but i also dont want a whole bunch of skinny naked girls on my wall and its really obvious when people walk into my room.

what kind of posters do you put on your walls?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 6 10:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtoe5/daily_food_diary_june_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Tip] Feeling like your hunger pangs are unbareable? Channel that. Embrace it. Imagine that pain is literally making you skinnier.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 09:52:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtmiq/feeling_like_your_hunger_pangs_are_unbareable/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtmiq/feeling_like_your_hunger_pangs_are_unbareable/

---

[Discussion] Gendered Language
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 55kg | 18.43 | -33kg | NB/M]
Created: Mon Jun 6 09:32:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtilp/gendered_language/
---
I don't want to sound mean in this post and it's certainly not targeting anyone in particular, because it's something that happens a lot in this sub :(

Can we stop with the 'hey ladies!' type language when it's unnecessary? If you're talking about something central to women then it makes sense, (like I wouldn't have anything to say about women's clothes or catcalling or the like) but a lot of the time it's just not really applicable? I'm not the only person in this sub who isn't a woman and I feel a little bit like I'm intruding when I see people address posts like that. EDs obviously aren't just limited to women and I feel like the sub should reflect that.

---

[Discussion] Losertown accuracy.
/u/KillingKylie [5'5| Piggy|-25|F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 09:05:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtdm6/losertown_accuracy/
---
I was toying around with numbers on Losertown for shits and giggles, and was wondering everyone's opinion on how accurate their calculations likely are? Personally, think they are fairly spot on until you reach the lower ends of the BMI scale.

---

[Help] Wish me luck
/u/starry_daydreamer [4'11" | 99 lbs | 21.2 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 08:59:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtcgk/wish_me_luck/
---
On mobile so no flair :(

So I'm about to write an essay for my English class but my teacher brought two giant bags of chips, a box of cookies, and an ice cream cake. I'm so anxious about potentially bingeing.

---

[Other] on vacation but feeling positive (ish) about eating out for almost every meal!
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 119 | 20.4 | -0 | 20F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 08:57:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtc20/on_vacation_but_feeling_positive_ish_about_eating/
---
http://imgur.com/98R1pdE

---

[Discussion] How do you wana feel in the summer? Fit or jealous?
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 08:55:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mtbpo/how_do_you_wana_feel_in_the_summer_fit_or_jealous/
---
Northeners have summer now, but it's cold here in the south. Time to get fit as fuck ladies.

---

[Discussion] I hate how much I flipflop
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Mon Jun 6 08:41:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mt906/i_hate_how_much_i_flipflop/
---
does anyone else sometimes give up & just try to like your body how it is?
I do it like once a week. then I'm like "ugh you're so stupid!!!" and go back to restricting.

the thing is when I try to love my body I really try and I really do. I wish it was as easy as people make it seem

---

[Intro] An introduction + asking for support
/u/SowoneulMalhaebwaa
Created: Mon Jun 6 08:37:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mt8ci/an_introduction_asking_for_support/
---
Hi!

I've been lurking here for a little while now and I've just started to comment. To put it simply, I'm fat. I'm also a "recovered" bulimic. I still purge sporadically but it's not with the frequency it was years ago.

I am out of control. My eating habits, my weight and lack of willpower are disgusting. I hate what I've become and that I let myself lose control of the one thing that matters.

I'm asking for support. I want to be thin again more than anything else in the world. I don't care what I have to do to get there.

---

[Help] It's been exactly one week since I binged.
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 08:37:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mt8bi/its_been_exactly_one_week_since_i_binged/
---
That's a really long time for me. My weight is coming off nicely, but I'm horrified I'm about to ruin it. I can feel a binge coming right now which sucks ass... How can I make sure I don't do this to myself? I'm one and a half pounds away from my lowest weight... I'm so anxious...

---

[Rant/Rave] Told my friend about my disordered eating..
/u/Myuuji [169 | 51.6 | 18.07 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 08:24:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mt5xm/told_my_friend_about_my_disordered_eating/
---
First he asked me if I was fat, like I eat too much. Then I said no, I don't eat. He just said, oh, cool. I don't really live the healthiest lifestyle either, I mean I haven't eaten since breakfast (it was like 9pm when we talked) He then asked me why, I said well I wan't to be skinny. Then he kept talking about how he saw himself as fat, even though he really wasn't. I had no idea what to do. I mean here I thought I was going to talk to someone about my purging and how little I eat, but apparently he just made it all about him self. I learned my lesson.

For some reason I am even more motivated to get thin until I meet him next time.

---

Anyone wanna join my back to school/beginning of summer fast?
/u/thunderbirdandspice [5'10" | 136 | 19.5 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 08:07:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mt2x6/anyone_wanna_join_my_back_to_schoolbeginning_of/
---
[removed]

---

[Thinspo] hey it's been a while, but here's my fave male thinspo these last few months!
/u/mariamegale
Created: Mon Jun 6 07:43:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4msz2x/hey_its_been_a_while_but_heres_my_fave_male/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Y2sFK

---

[Other] Positive Monday post!
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 07:19:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4msvgh/positive_monday_post/
---
http://i.imgur.com/FaAKgW2.jpg

---

[Other] Just some motivation, backed by science: 'Healthy bodies' best for men, but for women, thin is beautiful
/u/avakadava [5'6.5 | 154 (GW 125) | 24.5 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 07:13:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4msumc/just_some_motivation_backed_by_science_healthy/
---
http://medicalxpress.com/news/2016-06-healthy-bodies-men-women-thin.html

---

[Other] I just bought the black swan dvd
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Jun 6 07:10:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4msu5z/i_just_bought_the_black_swan_dvd/
---
And I'm going to binge watch it and then hang posters of her as thinspo. God, her arms are such goals!

---

[Rant/Rave] Grocery Shopping makes me neurotic + My list/meals for the week
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 06:33:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4msoyh/grocery_shopping_makes_me_neurotic_my_listmeals/
---
I'm normally a socially smooth person. I feel awkward often, but I've learned to just be upbeat around others to balance myself out. I'm able to carry on a normal conversation, in fact most of the time I'm even rather funny.

Yesterday I walked around the grocery store for an hour and a half, stopping to read labels and cross things off my list and add up totals.

As I am checking out, the cashier is making witty banter at me about something related to theft? Customers? Swagger? His friend is security? I'm not sure, I heard the words but the entered my ears, scrambled themselves, and then my brain only absorbed half.

I think he was flirting with me. I tried to smile, make eye contact, but I felt anxious, focused, had to look away. At some point he even said, 'That went way over your head, didn't it?"

We talked about local crime, which is rough, and I realized to him I probably looked like your niave, clueless middle class white woman buying her reduced fats and calorie frees missing all the cool kid references.

No, my ED just had a party in the grocery store for almost two hours and I'm a little out of it right now.

Nothing like stocking up on safe foods to turn my mania into a frightening, empty kind of alertness.

This is my list / food plan, for those curious:


***B-fast foods:

-No sugar added Almond milk (for coffee) =30 cals a cup

-walnut raisin oatmeal= 140 cals a packet

-Light English Muffin (100) + butter spray + 2 tsb SF jelly(15) + two slices RF cheese (60) toasted (tastes like a crumpet)= 175 cals

***Lunches:

-3 cups lettuce(15) +1/2 cucumber(25) + 1/2 cup RF cottage Cheese OR tuna packet(90) + Waldens Farms 0 cal balsmic = 130

-Brown Rice bowl= 240

-Various steamed veggies= 120-150

***Dinner:

-Steamed veggies/ brown rice

-Veggie Burger (120) + mustard(0) + low sugar ketchup(10) + Thin baby swiss (40) + 2 lettuce leaf + tomato slice(5)= 175

Chicken leg (baked)- 130

***Snacks:

-Wasabi seaweed chips- 1 pack= 50

- 25 baby carrots=90

-1 cup oil popped popcorn =(55)

-3 celery stalks (20) + thin baby swiss(40) = 60

-Apple=60

-orange=70

-2 rice cakes (50) + 2 slices thin baby swiss(80) + tomato slices (25)= 155

***Misc:

-Crystal Light=5-10

-Mrs. Dash spice (love this stuff)

-Low-sugar Hot chocolate= 60

-Lots and lots of hot tea

-Sparkling lime rasberry soda (to drink in my wine glass to trick my brain. Not drinking is the hardest thing for me to do)



They didn't have any Amy's Vegan soups or laughing Cow wedges (wtf), or thatd be on the list instead of thin baby swiss and brown rice.


So I basically just mix and match the #s until they are somewhere between 900-1200. It's actually rather difficult, I feel like I brought half my fridge to work and still only at 870 for the day.

I keep a few things consistent but every shopping trip I try to switch it up a little. Too much variety = binges but if I change my diet just a little every two weeks I do much better about staying on plan but not feeling bored.

TL:DR- I love shopping for safe foods, hate talking to people while I'm doing it, plus obsessed meal plan

---

[Goal] Summer starting-- an accountability photo so I won't pig out!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 6 06:25:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4msnug/summer_starting_an_accountability_photo_so_i_wont/
---
http://imgur.com/LGuIl2j

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! June 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jun 6 06:03:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mskwz/weekly_stats_update_june_06_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for June 06, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Goal] -50lbs!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 6 03:40:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ms5qu/50lbs/
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http://i.imgur.com/JliHw6n.jpg

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[Thinspo] Feeling pretty darn good.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 6 03:30:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ms4pc/feeling_pretty_darn_good/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Reasons to stop binging: this will go away
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jun 6 03:27:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ms4en/reasons_to_stop_binging_this_will_go_away/
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http://imgur.com/a/EjQhH

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[Thinspo] Binged this weekend, for motivation I thought I share my personal motivation / thinspo album:)
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | FAT AF | Binging is shite | 21 / F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 02:14:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mrxds/binged_this_weekend_for_motivation_i_thought_i/
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http://imgur.com/a/iFEin

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[Rant/Rave] Passport Photos :(
/u/lifetc
Created: Mon Jun 6 02:09:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mrwwm/passport_photos/
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Starting a grad program in the USA this September. Passport is about to expire, so I need to replace it. Except, I've been trying to get a photo for about a month now and every single day I've hated the way I look so much I can't handle it. I think I don't have a choice but to get it done today (because deadlines for new passports take ages), and I feel like I want to cry. I can't stand looking at myself, I haven't had a photo taken of me for years, and I'm going to have to look at myself the way I look now for however many years until I can renew it. I hate this.

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[Rant/Rave] My parents are forgetting that I have to eat
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 130 | 21 | -35 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 01:47:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mrunj/my_parents_are_forgetting_that_i_have_to_eat/
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My sister has to lose weight and she's very active with it. My parents keep buying special products to eat for her, lunches, dinner, even breakfast. They don't even notice that I don't have any lunch or breakfast, they don't buy any for me. If I ask for something special to eat, they forget it. But she has everything she needs.

I know I shouldn't whine about it, it makes losing weight easier. My mom always says I have a fear of being forgotten by them and they always try their best and do more for me than for my brother or sister because of that. But that's not true and it does hurt. I'm not going to talk about it with them because I'm afraid they suddenly start buying my breakfast and lunch and I have to throw it away.

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[Discussion] Started dropping weight fast and I'm finding that I love the reactions to it.
/u/PermaFriday [5'3|111|19.7|27lbs|F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 01:18:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mrruv/started_dropping_weight_fast_and_im_finding_that/
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I started to watch my weight very critically for the same reasons as most girls in this position would. I saw older pictures of myself in great shape and compared it to the thicker thighs and chubbier hips I'd gained now. I went through clothes and things weren't fitting anymore. I was comparing myself to the hoards of models on instagram and the tiny girls modeling the cute clothes I knew I'd look better in if I lost some weight.

So I started watching what I ate meticulously. Replacing meals with shakes, holding firm in denying junk food or eating out. I never counted calories but I really just cut out a bulk of what I was usually consuming. I realize now how little I'm actually eating. The weight has started coming off quickly within the past month and I have to finally admit that I love every second of it...

Maybe it wouldn't be so addicting if everyone wasn't commenting on my weight. I love hearing everyone tell me how "skinny" I look, how "tiny" or "small." Everyone seems to notice and it's amazing. Couple that with being able to fit back into dresses that were too tight in all the wrong places before, that medium shorts don't leave indentions in my skin but rather fit very loosely and I'm incredibly happy. The results have begun to outweigh the hunger.

People don't realize I'm dropping weight from skipping meals. If they did they would be furious. It's just that now, I'm riding the high of small clothes and compliments on my "tiny" frame. I know this can't last forever and if this continues the "you look so skinny!" will turn to "you look too skinny," and there's even a small part of me looking forward to that. It's just... I've never had this reaction before and it is addicting on it's own. This is my own little confession in a private place to admit that I love listening to people talk about my weight now that I've gone back down to what to me, is an ideal weight.

Maybe that's so much of ED in general... Loving the positive attention for the original weight loss.

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[Discussion] Humor flair?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 00:48:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mroqf/humor_flair/
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I feel like a lot of posts under the current "Other" tag are (dark) humor posts. Maybe we should add a humor tag?

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[Goal] FINALLY UNDER 140!
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11½ | 138.2 | 18.93 | F]
Created: Mon Jun 6 00:23:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mrm5o/finally_under_140/
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Hallelujah, the bells are ringing. And I also measured myself; my waist is 26"! Only 10lbs/1 inch away from my UGW. I wonder if 10lbs is enough though to lose 1 inch? May have to lower my UGW depending on that.

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[Intro] Introduction!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 5 23:51:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mriqv/introduction/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Did you learn your eating habits?
/u/Bubbline
Created: Sun Jun 5 23:00:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mrcpt/did_you_learn_your_eating_habits/
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Apologies if that's not a clear title, also no flair since I'm on mobile.

I realized today that I learned my binging and restricting habits from all people...my father. He's an alcoholic, bipolar, abusive schizophrenic, just for reference.

I only ever saw him eating two different ways. Because he's bipolar, the swinging back and forth did not just manifest in mood changes, but also dietary changes.

When he ate healthily, it was a bowl of oatmeal, a can of tuna, a banana, always something under 400cal. For the entire day. He would make comments about my weight and make me promise to not get fat like my mother. He hid the salt from me for years, no butter or Halloween candy either.

Then there were binges. I recall spending hours in the kitchen making cheese stuffed bacon bison burgers with jalapeños and buns and fries from scratch. Late night milkshake runs to Sonic. Las Vegas buffets.

I'm ranting. It's late. But I realize this now and it hurts. I am struggling very hard right now to ignore a jar of Nutella calling my name. I want to cry. I'll go to sleep now.

To incite conversation and not make this a pity party, from my original title, did you learn your bad eating habits? From your parents? Friends?

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[Discussion] how?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 22:58:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mrcgq/how/
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how are people my same height and weigh less than me?

What did I do wrong?

I remember last year i was freaking out because i was 124/125 lbs and now look at me.

:(

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[Discussion] How often/much do you exercise?
/u/russianfrank
Created: Sun Jun 5 22:17:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mr76x/how_oftenmuch_do_you_exercise/
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Hey guys, I took your advice and finally got up and started running. I'm not a very active person, which, I think, is the reason I'm not really getting anywhere. :c

So I'm curious, how often and how much do you exercise? Maybe it'll give me more motivation to start moving :D

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[Discussion] has anyone ever relapsed in their ED to upset an ex?
/u/ednosthrowaway123
Created: Sun Jun 5 22:00:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mr4yn/has_anyone_ever_relapsed_in_their_ed_to_upset_an/
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my long term BF broke up with me after the most serious months of our relationship (planning to get married and our life together), he's known about my ED recovery and i was mostly fine and recovered when with him.

since breaking up i feel so guilty about everything that i've stopped eating again as a way of punishing myself. i am down about ~10lbs in the first week and don't plan on stopping.

part of me feels the need to be sickly thin again in hopes he'd feel guilty about the way he ended our relationship, am i being delusional in thinking he would?

does anyone have experience with an ex reacting to their ED relapse?

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[Discussion] Does anyone notice random strangers being nicer to you as you lose weight
/u/avakadava [5'6.5 | 154 (GW 125) | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 20:40:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mqtri/does_anyone_notice_random_strangers_being_nicer/
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Just like everywhere I see people more receptive, more smiley. I get a lot more strangers asking for directions to the train station for example and smiling a lot more when I'm paying for things at the store...

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[Thinspo] Thought my legs looked really small today which made me feel really good about myself and happy :)
/u/lovelypetite [5'2 | 104 | 19 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 20:25:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mqrec/thought_my_legs_looked_really_small_today_which/
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http://imgur.com/TbFkaM1

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[Rant/Rave] How my night is going
/u/IvoryFlyaway [6' | 218.5 | 28.5 | -18.5 | M]
Created: Sun Jun 5 20:18:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mqqar/how_my_night_is_going/
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https://media.giphy.com/media/l2JeizwGpf8jqGupa/giphy.gif

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[Rant/Rave] I poured the coffee down the sink
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 5 19:48:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mqlv7/i_poured_the_coffee_down_the_sink/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Another thinspo album
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 19:47:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mqlpz/another_thinspo_album/
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https://imgur.com/a/nrtFr

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[Rant/Rave] Body dysmorphia is a bitch.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 18:37:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mqb69/body_dysmorphia_is_a_bitch/
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Again, the scale hasn't shifted much. But I see a serious motherfucking GUT right now when I look in the mirror. A gut and protruding thighs.

I barely ate all day because I'm making up for eating too many carbs yesterday (not a binge, but just ate too much in a social setting). I drank a ton of water to extinguish the water weight.

Now i'm heading to the gym feeling exhausted and hungry and irritable. The last thing I needed was to stand in front of the mirror while changing from work clothes to gym clothes. It is the most defeating thing to see a fat fuck in the mirror after restricting all day and trying to get to the gym. I physically see this, I squeeze my eyes shut and try to use logic and then open them back up and scan my body and no....i still see it. A gut and wild thighs.

It's crazy because just YESTERDAY my boyfriend snapchatted me and put it on his story and when I viewed it later that night, I was like "holy fuck I look skinny fit :):):)" and I was so happy because I never see videos like that of myself walking around. Now I see a chubby, stocky sloppy girl. I just want to curl up and cry and not FEEL my body spilling everywhere.

Fuck.

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[Rant/Rave] Another day, another binge- and I purged
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 5 18:17:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mq8ck/another_day_another_binge_and_i_purged/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Thinspo works so much better post-binge.
/u/smallsmallersmallest [168cm | CW 52.5kg GW 47kg | 18.66 | -8.5kg | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 17:47:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mq3ty/thinspo_works_so_much_better_postbinge/
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When I'm craving food I can look at thinspo or browse through this sub and it only sometimes works to prevent a binge, but as soon as I've eaten, these things become 10x more inspiring and the regret feels so much worse. It feels so defeating that post-binge is the time when I feel most inspired to be smaller. After I've already ruined it.

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[Tip] Eating Disorders are an Addiction that have Nothing and Everything to do with Food and the Body
/u/angelinamirabtio
Created: Sun Jun 5 16:47:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mpva7/eating_disorders_are_an_addiction_that_have/
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https://writingthroughtrauma.org/2016/06/05/eating-disorders-are-an-addiction-that-have-nothing-and-everything-to-do-with-food-and-the-body/

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[Rant/Rave] For SHORT women who've gone from obese to avg wt...
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 15:57:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mpnhf/for_short_women_whove_gone_from_obese_to_avg_wt/
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How do you mentally grapple with the fact that your TDEE is so much lower now? Im freaking out because it will be impossible to sustain noticeable weight loss from now on. Im going to feel like a failure because I cant see any notable scale movement, and then eat too fucking much. It's what happened last time. I ruined EVERYTHING. Went from 133 to 194 in 9 months. DISGUSTING. I just want to stop eating forever. I FUCKING HATE BEING SHORT. 1000kcal deficit isn't even an option anymore!

I hit 133, and keep feeling the urge to binge. I cant get under 130# for fucks sake, I'm still fat as fuck. This morning i was 136.6. I cant even get back to the weight i was 10 fucking days ago, let alone LOSE weight anymore. Ill have to literally starve myself if I ever want to be attractive to myself. But then I'll literally die, and that's not attractive.

Fuck food. Fuck being short. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.


Fuck.

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[Discussion] How do you know it's dysmorphia and not due to mood?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 15:45:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mplf4/how_do_you_know_its_dysmorphia_and_not_due_to_mood/
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I look better to myself when i am in a good mood, look like dogvomit when in a bad mood. In a neutral mood, I'm usually mostly dissatisfied or fairly disgusted.

How does this differ from actual body dysmorphia? How does mood correlate for those of you that *do* have BDD?

I just feel so fucking fat. I dont know what I look like. I've never fully felt like my reflection (face or otherwise) was my own, since childhood. But I think that's more a function of my ASD? On the other hand, I dont have face blindness or anything (quite the opposite, in fact!!), so maybe that's *not* why my brain struggles with grocking my own reflection? Hard to tell.

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[Other] Beginning A Fast VS. Half Way Through
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 15:34:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mpjtj/beginning_a_fast_vs_half_way_through/
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http://imgur.com/a/6KJ2z

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[Help] Best undereye concealers? Foundation?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 15:04:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mpeur/best_undereye_concealers_foundation/
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Until I get some blood tests to determine what im lacking, I need a way to get rid of the bad undereye circles I'm developing. Every concealer I've tried SUCKS. (And they were sampled back when i had a 'healthy' amount of purple undereye.)

I'm slightly less pale than albino. Typical light Irish coloring. I more or less live in the US and none of the foundation here has pink undertones!! So i cant find anything. No good concealer, no foundation that doesnt make me look jaundiced. Fed up. I don't even LIKE wearing makeup....

Sorry if this is off-topic, let me know if it should be moved or deleted. Figured maybe other people could use some of the same pointers as me.....

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[Rant/Rave] Road Trips
/u/Lasttimelord1207
Created: Sun Jun 5 14:55:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mpdgq/road_trips/
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So I'm in the middle of moving from California to Minnesota and all we've done is stop and eat total crap. Like fast food every few hours. Considering I wanna lose weight before I start transitioning this summer, this ain't helping. How can I get out of this?

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[Discussion] Question for those of you with body dysmorphia.
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 13:53:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mp31x/question_for_those_of_you_with_body_dysmorphia/
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When you take a photo of yourself, or say look at your legs through the lens of your phone camera, do you see what others see or is your perception still flawed? I'm just wondering if it's just when you look in a mirror or pretty much through all sources of vision.

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[Discussion] hope this isn't too invasive of a question: how much have you managed to lose in one month's time?
/u/drink_your_tea [168cm | CW 58 kg | HW 67.1 | SW ~63 | GW 49? | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 13:32:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4moznn/hope_this_isnt_too_invasive_of_a_question_how/
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I have two big "life events" coming up - one in 1 month, and one a month after that. I'm so unhappy with myself and my body and my fat and I'm desperately seeking **tangible** inspiration. I'm worried that if I choose a goal that I *need*, but not one that I can feasibly *get to*, I'll be upset enough at the end of a month to start a cycle of binging to fill the hole my depression will cause... and we all know how well those binge cycles go

it's gonna be tough no matter what because I have family coming and the part of my job that mostly let me be alone is ending, meaning I'm going to have to start eating around people again, and I'm worried about comments/pressures... it'll be that much harder to fast and that much more tempting to start purging again. :(

anyway, if you feel comfortable sharing, I'd love to know what you've achieved, and if you managed it with/without a ton of exercise. <3

stay strong lovelies!

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[Rant/Rave] like are you freaking kidding me
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 119 | 20.4 | -0 | 20F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 13:30:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mozbf/like_are_you_freaking_kidding_me/
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I leave college for summer break, finally away from the hordes of skinny artistic girls, and I find myself on vacation (yay!) with my dad + stepmother. My dad was definitely pretty overweight a few years ago, but the past few months he's given up alcohol + become a vegetarian, and now his bmi is around 23 (calculated it for him lol).

The bad part? I still drink! I still eat meat! AND his thigh is somehow the same size as mine????

I don't understand if I'm distorting my own perception of my thighs, or what, but how can he be 170 lbs with the same size leg as a 110 lb 20 yr old???

I am in competition with my own father, AND my sister found my scale. If anyone (female or otherwise) has ever had this kind of competition, please share!! xxx

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[Rant/Rave] Forced Weighings
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Sun Jun 5 10:55:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mo8xy/forced_weighings/
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I'm a very calm person...but whenever I get dragged to the scale and then berated for whatever number flickers on that tiny blue screen, my blood pounds so hard I can barely breathe.

Let's see who fucking wins. I'm going to make it as low as I want and nothing is going to impede that progress.

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[Intro] Introduction :)
/u/JameelaD [5'2 | 139 lbs | 26.34 | GW: 115 lbs | ]
Created: Sun Jun 5 10:31:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mo57n/introduction/
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Hi Ladies,

I have been lurking for a while now and I love the community. I am in my 30's and I have been battling an ED (Anorexia - restricting) since High School.

I recently stopped taking Adderall for two weeks -- due to issues with the generic brand I received from Target -- and now two weeks without it -- I have gained 18lbs. I feel and look terrible.

I CAN NOT believe I have allowed myself to get to the 140's - I haven't seen this weight since I tried to recover over 5 years ago.

I go to my therapist tomorrow for my Addy script so I know I will be back on track after tomorrow.

I haven't wanted to go outside and I have had some massive binges lately. I feel so bad and ashamed of myself and body.

I have no one to talk to because my ED is pretty private - and only my out of state family knows my history -- and they think I am recovered since I keep my weight around 120lbs-125lbs.

But, I just wanted to say hello and thanks for this Reddit and community :)

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[Rant/Rave] Nothing like unintentially hurtful comments to re-motivate you (warning: long ass rant about dumb boys)
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 10:24:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mo40d/nothing_like_unintentially_hurtful_comments_to/
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I've been really good at controlling myself lately but last night I went out with friends (and while I had a good day before hand, it could have been better). Ate more than I want to with them but I was okay with it since it wasn't bad food (thai beef curry w/ cashews and coconut milk yaaas).

But then we parted ways and I just wanted a falafel pita so fucking bad. Which is no excuse, cravings don't put the food in your mouth. I did, and I immediately regretted it. So I planned on going home, having some skyr and frozen grapes while watching Gossip Girl (still not sure if I like this show) before going to bed. Ended up eating more than that, of course, though (mostly) healthy food before finally going to bed late.

As luck would have it, my FWB (not ice cream guy) called me a few hours later, happily drunk after winning their soccer tournament, and wanting to come over.

So here I am, managing to enjoy myself with him despite my full stomach, when he pauses, says 1-2-3 then lifts me up and throws me farther down the bed. For one glorious second I was elated that I was light enough for him to just casually pick up and toss around until he said "you're just too damn big" before resuming.

Big? BIG!?

I asked if he meant I was too tall, which he replied that I could interpret it any way I wanted. Like, what the fuck dude!? Wrong fucking answer! I think he kind of noticed that I was hung up on his comment because after he was spending time just grabbing my waist and running his hands along my stomach, though it was more tender than pinching/accusatory. I have a torso tattoo of a deer skull and he was spending a long time just admiring it and running his fingers along where it's still raised (then he put his ear to it and asked it tell him its secrets, which made me laugh and brought me out of my funk).

But while all that helped, I can't get that comment out of my head. It's not like he's small either (he's currently cutting and while he has lost weight he still has a bit of a belly, which doesn't bother me at all), plus he's been with me from my heaviest (70.1) to my lightest (56.7) and has never seemed to care. So I just keep telling myself he didn't mean it that way. He didn't mean it that way. He didn't mean it that way.

But at the same time the only thing I'm going to eat today is coffee and a handful of frozen grapes (and maybe some skyr). Thankfully I'm not hungry, but if I am I have that comment to keep me going.

--

tl;dr boys are dumb

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[Discussion] Perfect weight for short girls?
/u/onionfae
Created: Sun Jun 5 10:07:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mo1af/perfect_weight_for_short_girls/
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I'm 5'4 and 107 pounds my goals are 104 and then 102 nd then I'll make a final goal after I reach those but I'm thinking 95 is my UGW

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jun 5 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mo0e2/daily_food_diary_june_05_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for June 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Discussion] Eating lunch at work?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 5 09:47:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mny03/eating_lunch_at_work/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Not feeling sick on anti depressants?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 5 09:28:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mnuvd/not_feeling_sick_on_anti_depressants/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Calories per day
/u/princessxpixie [5"4.5 | 104lbs | 17.5 | -29lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Jun 5 07:15:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mnc3x/calories_per_day/
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Hey, I just wanted to know like how many average calories you guys eat per day/week if you know and your bmi. Due to binges I'm averaging around 800/900 per day and have bmi of 17.7.

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[Help] [help] Really confusing SO stuff
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 07:09:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mnb9x/help_really_confusing_so_stuff/
---
So my SO has known about my bulimia for a long time and has been incredibly supportive in helping me not binge, stick to an exercise schedule, and lose the binge weight while still showing me loads of love at every size. Literally, he has been perfect.

I told him I wanted back into the 120s because that's a comfortable weight for me and he supported it. But, as soon as I delightedly told him I was 129 his whole perspective has changed. He thinks I should "stop" now, that now that I have hit this goal my obsession should end and he is worried about me as it's clear I obsess as much as ever.

I am trying to explain to him that I need to see the 120s at any time I weigh myself. If I'm 129 than most weigh ins will show 130s thanks to water weight and natural fluctuations. I told him my goal was always 123 and that is still a healthy weight. (Technically, haha)

He's so worried about moving goalposts and he's skeptical. I know I need to stop mentioning anything about food, workouts, and my weight, but does anyone have any other ideas that will ease his mind, keep peace in my relationship, and let me keep losing?

---

[Rant/Rave] Weighed myself with a proper scale for the first time in years today, and the first time at all in months. Feel really weird.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sun Jun 5 04:47:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mmvqn/weighed_myself_with_a_proper_scale_for_the_first/
---
I don't weigh myself anyway. I chucked out my scale at home months ago because I kept binging as a result of the number. I couldn't handle the fluctuations, either. Last time I weighed myself, I weighed 180lbs.

My gym has a brand new scale. One of those really, really fancy ones. It came earlier this week and I've managed to avoid it, but couldn't resist today. I tried. I knew it wouldn't end well. I gave in.

I thought I weighed at the very LEAST 105lbs. More likely, around 115. This was just my estimate, estimating the best I could looking at my calorie logs and what my deficit should be, and going on what my old trainer hinted at (she weighed me, I asked not to be told set number, but she dropped hints at what I was hovering round..)

Apparently, I actually weigh 97lbs. So.. yay, I suppose? That's much lower than 115 or 105. That's a really good thing.. Buuuut now I'm upset it's not lower. It's not enough. I just found out I weigh quite a bit less than I thought, and I'm still not happy. How fucked up.

Still, I got to update my flair with actual accurate info now

I'm going to try and keep off it though because I just feel really weird, knowing what I weigh. I'll use this information to recalculate my TDEE etc.

Thanks for listening. Sorry this is a ramble. My mind is all over the place.

---

[Goal] im going to tell my psychiatrist tomorrow...
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Sun Jun 5 02:42:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mmkxn/im_going_to_tell_my_psychiatrist_tomorrow/
---
i am going to tell my psychiatrist tomorrow about my troubles with binge eating/restricting- i made a phone appt so that i wont have to tell him to his face
heres to praying theres a miracle drug

---

[Intro] Introduction ... better late than never?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 5 02:18:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mmiya/introduction_better_late_than_never/
---
[deleted]

---

[Intro] Intro, better late than never!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jun 5 01:48:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mmgkm/intro_better_late_than_never/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Fuck you water weight
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jun 5 01:13:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mmdvm/fuck_you_water_weight/
---
(Rant) sorry I'm on mobile so can't flair right now

I'm an idiot, and I bring it on myself. Yesterday I went out for dinner with friends but they had calories online and I picked the lowest food (521 kcal) but it was a "skinny pizza" so salt and carbs. Yesterday I has 1,700 calorie deficit because I walked so much and only ate dinner. But I knew I was dehydrated as I was going to bed.

So here we are the next day and despite restricting and burning loads of calories I've gained a pound. I get that it's not fat. But that doesn't make it hurt less. Stupid fucking water weight. I feel like I want to cry. I'm such a fucking idiot and a failure to let this happen.

Well I'm off to the gym now. Intend to burn 750 calories and then not eat above 500.

---

[Intro] Intro and goals
/u/mild-rose [5'11 | 144 |20.14 | not enough | f]
Created: Sat Jun 4 22:24:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mlx1z/intro_and_goals/
---
Hi! Okay so I'm 18, 5'11" and currently 147 pounds (ew I know). My goal weights are 130, 128, and 125.
My ultimate goal is a BMI of 16.1
I'd say that mostly I'm more of an orthorexic, though I do restrict heavily. I've also been bingeing so much since I started birth control and it's so awful, I feel like a pig.

---

[Discussion] Is it possible to get under BMI 15.5 while starting after age 30? [Discussion]
/u/sunkindonut149
Created: Sat Jun 4 22:15:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mlvyy/is_it_possible_to_get_under_bmi_155_while/
---
One thing I've noticed is that the really skinny folks (BMI 10.5 - 15.5 or thereabouts) tend to be in their teens and 20s, or have had a history of being thin in the past and gained later.

Is there anyone here or anyone who knows if it's possible to get *truly* thin when you're starting out after age 30? Not BMI 17 or 18. Inquiring minds would like to know.

---

[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 22:00:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mluak/thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/JTtHe

---

[Help] Guys please help :( I binged on cake, wings, random filthy junk crap for 3 days and I need help getting my binge weight off.
/u/yousimperlikeaduck
Created: Sat Jun 4 21:47:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mlsq7/guys_please_help_i_binged_on_cake_wings_random/
---
Does anyone have any tips on getting this binge weight off? I think i consumed over 10k cals each day on the 3 day period

---

[Discussion] Mental triggers?
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Sat Jun 4 17:59:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mkyl0/mental_triggers/
---
Is this a thing or am I making it up? (Or perhaps it has a different name).

Last night husband and I spent the night in Atlantic City. Usually when we do this, it's a night of immense excess. Tons of food and booze.

Well last night we had a show and our trip was much shorter than usual and we ate and drank, basically like normal people. Woo-hoo!

However, today I'm struggling trying to hold off on binging. I've not even wanted to binge for, like, a week. Not even, like, 'man that would taste good right now'. Nothing.

However, I'm wondering if today is caused by the fact that my brain knows we went to AC and that means binge! But I didn't. So is it possible that a skipped binge is a possible trigger to binge? Even though I'm at home now?

Does anyone else binge situationally? Or based on passed events? Or out of habit, even?

Usually a binge just kind of all of a sudden, mindlessly takes over. But this one has just kinda been lurking in the background. It's weird and I can't even really explain it properly. Sigh.

On a positive note: I have kept PB in my house for 5 days now and haven't binged on it. Small victories.

---

[Discussion] What's your motivation to be thin??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 16:39:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mkmow/whats_your_motivation_to_be_thin/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Dealing w/ body dysmorphia?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 16:30:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mklbb/dealing_w_body_dysmorphia/
---
Reddit, I'm actually scared.

I never thought that I'd ever be in this bad a state. Yesterday, I binged for the first time in almost two weeks of restricting, but I'm restricting again from today onwards. I won't let one binge stop me. But anyways, I've been feeling terrible since then. Today, I was about to go outside, but when I looked in the full length mirror, I was horrified.

IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING EYES,

my neck started to get shorter and wider and along with my limbs. I was gaining weight by looking at myself in the mirror. I broke out into a cold sweat.

I know it was just my mind playing with me, but damn reddit, I'm SCARED. I'm legitimately terrified and my hands are shaking while I'm typing this.

Please, anyone, please give me advice on how to cope with this.

---

[Discussion] Well damn
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 4 16:14:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mkivt/well_damn/
---
I'm in the program and we just had our end of the year celebrations and they were giving out awards like " best style " and "class clown"

Guess what I got?

Biggest eater 😐☹️.

Not to mention that these awards were voted on by my peers, and I'm known as the girl who eats a lot 😓

---

[Other] I've always had difficulty making myself purge...so about to drink charcoal with water...googling calories in charcoal or coal do not really show anything
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 117 | 18.26 | -53 | F | GW 115 | UGW 108?]
Created: Sat Jun 4 15:23:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mkb84/ive_always_had_difficulty_making_myself_purgeso/
---
guess this isn't a normal thing to google...

---

[Help] Losing Weight as a Transsexual.
/u/VenezuelanTS906090 [6'3/190CM | 214 | 25.36 | -18lbs | MTF]
Created: Sat Jun 4 14:41:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mk4sz/losing_weight_as_a_transsexual/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] Okay so this day sucked
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Jun 4 13:24:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mjspd/okay_so_this_day_sucked/
---
I suddenly had to work late and everyone ordered pizza and couldn't decline or get something else.

But from Monday to Friday I will 24h fast every day.

So only "dinner" - salad lol when I have to with my parents. I can do that.

---

[Goal] The first time clothes shopping hasn't made me want to cry
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 12:47:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mjn34/the_first_time_clothes_shopping_hasnt_made_me/
---
http://imgur.com/9cD4YT9

---

[Help] getting rid of water weight fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 12:08:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mjgnn/getting_rid_of_water_weight_fast/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Be big fat Me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 11:52:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mje3g/be_big_fat_me/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] supplements?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 11:26:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mj9ue/supplements/
---
I know this is a repeat topic but the answers change I guess? what are you taking for supplements? is it got suppression appetite? energy, rounding out nutrition when restricting, good for working out?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jun 4 10:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4miwov/daily_food_diary_june_04_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm addicted to Binging and I want to die
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 09:59:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4miwb4/im_addicted_to_binging_and_i_want_to_die/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Acid Reflux
/u/OtterKat [5'5" | 115lbs | 19 | -5lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 4 07:29:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mib40/acid_reflux/
---
Im on mobile so Im not so sure if I have my flair on, nor can I remember if I made an intro post yet. However, I just wanted to ask if anyone else has begun to struggle with acid reflux more with more restriction. I have to cut out onions, one of my favorite foods, because of it and it makes me very sad. DAE have this problem?

---

[Rant/Rave] Misunderstanding
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Sat Jun 4 06:17:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mi2oh/misunderstanding/
---
My body image can make me into a cunt. Ive unintentionally been being a cunt to my boyfriend. Because I've been heavily restricting and hating the way I look. He doesn't know I still restrict. So I told him I've been depressed. He thinks im in love with my male friend so thats why I've been being a cunt. Im not in love with my male friend, im in love with the idea of being skinny. This week I stress ate away all my progress. Back to 120. Fuck.

---

[Tip] Now that it's getting hot out
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 4 04:36:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mhsm4/now_that_its_getting_hot_out/
---
Frozen grapes are a really good low cal way of cooling down while getting your sugar fix (each grape is ~2 kcal). They're awesome plain but they're also good thrown in to some skyr/yogurt (I add a little bit of honey but that's up to you). It's better than frozen yogurt imo.

---

[Meme/Humor] When your SO catches you mod-binge
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 4 03:32:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mhmne/when_your_so_catches_you_modbinge/
---
https://imgur.com/a/pWiRt

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When your SO catches you mid-binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 03:17:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mhl8y/when_your_so_catches_you_midbinge/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/9782a6cc66b443d19792b120472585d6?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=198afb60751ac6603db87c7bdcf3182c

---

[Rant/Rave] EVERYTHING IS RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE DUST!!
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Sat Jun 4 02:26:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mhguq/everything_is_rainbows_and_sunshine_dust/
---
Went on a date yesterday that involved ice cream AND wine AND I STILL LOST WEIGHT THIS MORNING!?

HALLE-FREAKING-LUJAH!!

---

[Help] i just want to stop thinking about food
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Sat Jun 4 01:50:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mhdof/i_just_want_to_stop_thinking_about_food/
---
constantly. all i want to do is eat. if im restricting i google food all day and think about what my next meal is gonna be. and then think about everything i want to eat. even worse is when i eat it all. help i just want to stop binging

---

[Tip] Tabouli
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jun 4 01:08:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mha05/tabouli/
---
Hey guys, I found a new food that I'm really fond of! It's vegan and relatively low calorie.

Tabouli:

* Parsley

* Tomatoes

* Red onion

* Cracked wheat (optional for gluten int.)

* Lemon juice

My super market sells it for $6 AUD, and is 200 calories for a decently sized tub, 330 grams, including olive oil. It would be cheaper to make it at home, and you could take out the oil for lower calories. It's super delicious and very filling, tomatoes are one of my favourite salad foods because they are so dense. And the lemon juice is a great way to make it taste lovely w/o any fatty dressing.

---

[Rant/Rave] FatFatFat body image mental crash
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | how can I have fat wrists?! | -29lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jun 4 00:43:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mh7po/fatfatfat_body_image_mental_crash/
---
Ugh I've just like tell into a hole. I had a binge, went to McDonald's and ordered a meal.So bad, so fat. I can't stand this. I have to fast. I have to even if my loved ones say I shouldn't and try to make me eat. This is what full relapse looks like, I guess. The celibacy of my lips is sacred. Water and chewing gum only to get my pills down.

---

[Discussion] Since its summer and this is the time when everyone begins to feel even more self conscious...
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Sat Jun 4 00:17:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mh4za/since_its_summer_and_this_is_the_time_when/
---
What's an average and realistic amount that somebody can lose in 2 months? I calculated my tdee and what I'm sticking to is 500 cals a day. In 2 months I can theoretically lose 23 pounds! :/ What's everyones elses summertime goals?

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[Help] Recovery?
/u/Jitterly [163.5 cm | 48kg | 17.96 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 21:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mgofn/recovery/
---
Sorry for no flair and typos, mobile.
I have a meeting with my pediatrition Monday and Im so fucking scared. Ive never got help or talked to anyone about this before until I met my current and he kinda gave me the push I need to reach out but I'm so afraid. Im 103.8 lb and 64.5in tall, so Im not severely underweight or anything, but I am underweight. Im just so scared, I dont know what to expect and Im afraid of getting in trouble and having to gain weight... Does anyone have any advice they can give me? I dont know how to calm myself down but Im so afraid.

---

[Tip] OceanSpray Cranberry Juice
/u/cry_baaby
Created: Fri Jun 3 21:34:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mgluy/oceanspray_cranberry_juice/
---
Has anyone tried this ?? I get the diet kind, which is 5 calories a serving, and loooovve the taste

---

[Rant/Rave] Hey guys, could use any support/advice on how to get back on track having to sit inside all day but living on a small Caribbean island. Also, introduction!
/u/curiositythrilledkat [5'9" | 137 | 19.87 | -13 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 21:28:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mgl0b/hey_guys_could_use_any_supportadvice_on_how_to/
---
Hey, I've posted on here a couple times before moving down to the Caribbean, but never really introduced myself. I was hospitalized when I was 14 for 4 months for anorexia which led me to an interest in health care. I love nursing and it's the one thing that on my worst days really makes me feel good for something because when I'm working with patients I don't matter.

Anyway, I quit my job as a nurse and moved to the Caribbean to do my dive master and then scuba instructor course. Doing my dive master I felt great, lost some weight, gained muscle, got tan, and barely worried about my eating. Losing weight was the most effortless it had been in years and instead of hiding in nursing I truly began to enjoy myself. Now I'm doing my instructor course on a different island, though, inside all day doing academic work with very little option for healthy foods. I've fallen off the wagon and been basically bingeing. I've gained most of what I lost since moving here.

My tan is the only thing keeping me from feeling very very hopeless living in bikini-country right now. For the past few days I'e been telling myself, "Ok today we can do it." And then I don't. I'm so frustrated! But I really don't have the time to make healthy food with all the crazy course work for the next couple weeks, and I just end up grabbing easy things.

Sorry for the ramble/rant, just really disappointed in myself since I was feeling so good about myself and just let myself get lazy in a stupid routine I can't get out of!

---

[Thinspo] Thinspo... old photos of myself?
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 21:19:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mgjzm/thinspo_old_photos_of_myself/
---
Not to sound like im boasting... because I don't look anything like this anymore... at all, but I was looking through old old old facebook photos and saved because I WAS SO MUCH SKINNIER. I seriously wonder how I let myself get to the weight I am right now when it all seemed to easy to maintain the weight I was in these photos.

I thought Id post this for thinspo for myself and for anyone else who might want to look at it.
http://imgur.com/a/zrL1Z

edit: I can't stop looking at these photos thinking "how the fuck could you let this happen" ugh.

---

[Meme/Humor] Relatable af.
/u/presidentkennady [5'3'' | too fucking gross | too damn high | f]
Created: Fri Jun 3 20:12:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mgbfc/relatable_af/
---
https://imgur.com/a/7qmYl

---

[Intro] An introduction/reindroduction (?)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 3 20:04:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mgadu/an_introductionreindroduction/
---
[deleted]

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[Thinspo] [thinspo] tummy after a week of restriction!
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Fri Jun 3 19:43:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mg7ma/thinspo_tummy_after_a_week_of_restriction/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/1bb0ad20341548a89e362fb1d8ea41e4?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=df61c35d0764e6c62d16afdff21de652

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[Rant/Rave] Anxiety is a beautiful thing
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 19:08:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mg2xe/anxiety_is_a_beautiful_thing/
---
... for weight loss. Har har har. I ate 300 calories (of saltines) yesterday with no issue, then ate a normal human amount of party food (donuts/popcorn/cookies) and threw up. I say threw up and not purged because it wasn't exactly a deliberate action on my part. Food is just not happening lately.

---

[Other] Unfinished drawing inspired by my ED.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jun 3 17:57:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mfswy/unfinished_drawing_inspired_by_my_ed/
---
http://imgur.com/M4J7tHM

---

[Discussion] Is it possible to have a non disordered mindset?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 3 17:51:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mfs5b/is_it_possible_to_have_a_non_disordered_mindset/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] An important piece I just read on why skipping meals in college is not optimal, just to get those few extra minutes of studying down!
/u/omegalith123
Created: Fri Jun 3 17:33:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mfpo4/an_important_piece_i_just_read_on_why_skipping/
---
http://spoonuniversity.com/lifestyle/what-happens-when-you-dont-eat-for-an-entire-day

---

[Rant/Rave] I had a bite for lunch
/u/onionfae
Created: Fri Jun 3 16:57:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mfkdk/i_had_a_bite_for_lunch/
---
I cried and felt bad but it was a piece of salmon sashimi and a little seaweed salad so at least it was healthy but I still had to force myself to eat it and I put way too much on my plate so I feel worse, I feel compelled to finish it but my stomach hurts so I'm putting it in the fridge for dinner. I always put too much on my plate I need to practice putting not enough instead.

---

[Goal] Miscellaneous goals/raves
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 69 lb | 14.19 | -53 lb | FTM]
Created: Fri Jun 3 16:17:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mfe4l/miscellaneous_goalsraves/
---
(Sorry, on mobile as always - will flair once on PC!)

I've hit a bunch of goals in the past week or so! Apologies for posting them all at once like this, I haven't been able to access this sub due to personal privacy reasons.

* Got to weigh myself on Sunday and I'm finally at a two-digit weight! When I first weighed myself I was 90, but when I shifted my weight it jumped up to 95 and I didn't have time to reweigh myself properly, so putting myself at 95 just in case.

* Did a successful 24 hour fast Monday-Tuesday and a 36-hour fast from Tuesday-Thursday!

* At the end of the fast, my family went out for dinner due to a celebration, which I was dreading. However, they did have low-calorie food, and I managed to eat a dinner of about 340 calories without a.) giving in to the higher calorie options or b.) making my parents mad or suspicious!

Unfortunately I have to allow myself to eat more than usual for today and tomorrow to ensure that I have enough energy for a major flute exam, but after that I'll be able to go back to restricting as much as possible. I'm trying my best to do successive 24-hour fasts (unfortunately can't do longer than that, since I can't avoid dinner with parents), and after the next few weeks I'll have enough time to exercise more regularly!

---

[Rant/Rave] Now that my boobs are finally smaller, I decided to reward myself with a cute lacey bralette...
/u/alonelyturd [5'0 | 97.4 lbs ]
Created: Fri Jun 3 16:07:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mfcki/now_that_my_boobs_are_finally_smaller_i_decided/
---
and I'm sitting here wearing it, worrying that it's far too dainty for me and just makes me look gross and oversized and flabby in comparison. I feel like I don't deserve cute little things.

Anyone else ever feel the same?

---

[Help] Fitbit Troubles
/u/lymfp [5'3" | brb crying | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 15:39:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mf7uv/fitbit_troubles/
---
I received a Charge HR Fitbit last Christmas, and everything was fine until around two weeks ago when I woke up one morning and saw that the outer rubber (shell?) had started coming up off of the device. I didn't really know what to do, but now, another week later, the opposite side has started to come up too. I don't know if it's from wearing it too tight, or what, but I feel like this is too soon for it to begin to fall apart.

[pic 1](http://i.imgur.com/UbzvxJy.jpg) [pic 2](http://i.imgur.com/bOKfIPC.jpg)

My real troubles lie in contacting customer support. I've heard that this company frequently replaces damaged fitbits, so I was hoping maybe they'd do the same for me! But when I email them...will they look at any of my stats? Will they take note of (or comment on) my calorie intake/burn? Or worse, (maybe this is me being paranoid, but) will they contact my parents? AAaaaaagggH

---

[Help] I've been hovering around the same size/weight for months. Up a little, down a little, up again, down again. How did you break through this?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jun 3 14:44:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mey7l/ive_been_hovering_around_the_same_sizeweight_for/
---
It's doing my nut in. How do I break through this cycle? It's obviously the fact I restrict, then eat too much, etc..

How did you break that cycle? Psychologically, physical changes.. any advice really appreciated.

---

[Goal] [goal] 119 lbs
/u/dogfucker_420 [5'6" | 117 | 18.9 | -43# | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 14:36:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mewtu/goal_119_lbs/
---
I've been eating max 500 cals the last few days and already I've gone from a bloated 124 to my lowest adult weight, 119. I haven't weighed so little in five years. life is good. thanks for letting me celebrate :)

---

[Discussion] Scale suggestions?
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Fri Jun 3 13:55:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mepdd/scale_suggestions/
---
Well, I probably won't be able to afford to buy one for awhile, but I really think I need a scale. I think actually looking at that number every day will really motivate me to stop fucking up.

So, what's the best (preferably cheap) scale out there?

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so disgusting
/u/onionfae
Created: Fri Jun 3 13:25:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mekdd/im_so_disgusting/
---
I feel a big depression wave coming so hopefully (well for me at least) I can lost like 10+ pounds. I'm at 109 and ideally would like to be between 97-102 and I'm 5'4. People still call me skinny or too thin or even sick and like a drug addict so I need to work on staying healthy and drink lots of water and take vitamins it's just so hard when you don't care about yourself (funny since I'm losing the weight for me and nobody else, but it'll make me happy). I just can't look in a mirror for and see how I'm 6 pounds more than I was in March I wanna die. I'm not active on Reddit but maybe I'll post before and afters when I reach my goal..

---

[Other] My Final(?) B/P
/u/justwanttolikemyself [5'1" | 85lbs | -61lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 13:08:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mehb9/my_final_bp/
---
So today I decided to have my final binge, well I hope so at least... I decided to go out with a bang, I went into 3 different pound shops and bought pretty much every type of chocolate, sweets, biscuits imaginable. Then ordered pizza, pasta and chips from a fancy itallian place. Picked up a ham & cheese pannini and a big-ass hotdog from a cafe and then bought a shit ton of cakes, donuts and pastries. Waiting for the bus to go home I decided that I didn't give a fuck and devoured a whole pizza in front of so many people. Then moved onto the chips and the pasta on the bus.. I really just did not care, and i'll tell you.. it was amazing. But, I am done. I want to find a better and more sustainable way to feel good, bingeing gives me short term happiness of course, but long term it is ruining my life/health/relationships/grades/everything.. I want this to have been my last binge ever, so wish me luck guys, this is gonna be tough.

---

[Goal] 20lbs in 83 days?
/u/alliealleyat
Created: Fri Jun 3 12:43:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4med1w/20lbs_in_83_days/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] I haven't binged in two days.
/u/IWant2BASkeleton [5'7 | 151.0 | 23.7 | -16.8 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 10:29:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mdp9d/i_havent_binged_in_two_days/
---
Not only that, I haven't NEEDED or even WANTED to. I know two days is nothing. But it's so big for me, I haven't gone two days without a binge in so long, guys. Since the last time I was rapidly losing weight and actually approaching, conquering and setting new goals.

I never really fully realized I was binging out of boredom. Like severe, I can't concentrate on anything for long enough to enjoy it boredom. I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me vyvanse for (apparently super severe) ADHD. Aside from the appetite suppressant side effect of the vyvanse, I'm not bored. I'm focused, I have a schedule I can keep to and that includes eating. So when I said that I'd have a light lunch of grilled chicken before work and then just a veggie pita with steamed veg on the side for dinner during my shift, that's what I did. And I didn't want anything else. Not even my nighttime banana that I told myself I could treat myself to if I stuck to my good food all day. I am SO ecstatic right now.

I feel so free after just two days, I could never binge again to keep this joyous feeling. I know that's unrealistic and I'll probably have a binge day sooner or later, especially with all my plans with friends and family this summer where I'd seriously give myself away if I didn't eat "normally." But guys. Two days. Two days and this is how I feel. I mean I've lost like 2lbs, but I'm sure it's water weight, especially after just ending my period. But it's not even about that right now. It's about the control. I CONTROLLED MYSELF. I FEEL IN CONTROL OF SOMETHING AGAIN.

God that feels good.

I hope all you lovelies are having wonderful days and meeting all your goals for the day. I love you all. Thanks for being the wonderful, beautiful, encouraging and supportive community that you are. I cannot describe how amazing it is to be able to talk to someone about these things, but I don't think I have to because I'm sure you all feel the same way.

<3 xoxo

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 3 10:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mdkb7/daily_food_diary_june_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Thinspo] Thinspo of me at my lowest weight, I blurred out my face.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 3 09:55:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mdiz0/thinspo_of_me_at_my_lowest_weight_i_blurred_out/
---
http://i.imgur.com/KpthY2C.jpg

---

[Other] sneer.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 09:46:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mdhe0/sneer/
---
I've been doing so well this week. I said I wouldn't weight myself until next Tuesday, but I caved and weighed myself yesterday. 113 lbs, acceptable and on par with my assumption. So I know I'm on the right track (down from 117 lbs on Sunday, yikes).

However, I stayed home from work yesterday to do some adulting and my husband badgered me into grocery shopping. Oy.

Inevitably, I "binged" and ate around 2300 cals. While laying in bed last night, I realized something; my "binges" are consistently between 2000-2300 cals, I'm essentially eating until I'm satisfied.

What does that mean then? Am I working out so much my TDEE is in that range? I always have this nagging thought in the back of my head that I'm not working out *enough* to justify the activity multiplier used in most TDEE calculators. I work out 6/7 days a week, 15-30 minutes (average 20 min.), and I set my intensity to 'breathless' and 'unable to hold a conversation'. Supposedly this is considered very active, but I feel like such a slacker cause I'm not working out for say, an hour and including a 5 mile run.

Not to mention, I'm *still* breastfeeding, and I have no idea what impact that has on my TDEE as well. Supposedly, from one calculator that accounts for BF, my TDEE is 2715 (ppppffffffftttttt, there is no way in **HELL** I'm eating anywhere near that.)

Regardless, eating below 2000 is such a god damn chore. I feel like biologically there is a reason for that, but my ED is unreasonable and tells me that I'm simply looking for excuses to eat like a fat ass.

So I sneer at myself, listen to my ED, and restrict to 1400 cals which mentally still feels like a lot but I *know* I have to keep it above 1200. I'm successful at least 5 out of 7 days a week, that's...gotta count for something right?

---

[Help] Munchies
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 113 | 21.41 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 09:43:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mdgro/munchies/
---
Hey! Do many of you smoke weed? If so, how do you deal with potential munchies? I try to drink a lot of water and diet coke. If the urge to eat gets strong I'll snack on carrot and celery sticks. What do you snack on? Are you able to restrict while high? I'd love to hear!

~K

---

[Rant/Rave] People keep encouraging me to talk to them, and then making me regret it.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 09:22:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mdd3n/people_keep_encouraging_me_to_talk_to_them_and/
---
I need to vent again. Sorry for the Wall of text. I'm on my phone in the bathroom at work trying not to cry like a huge loser right now.

I have three friends. My girlfriend, my female friend from college, and my male friend from way back in high school. I'm close with all of them and they all encourage me to talk with them anytime I need anything. I appreciate that.

None of them know how to respond when my ED is making me feel like human garbage. My friend from high school, I don't think he even understands eating disorders. I only opened up and told him about how I had an ED once, and he sounded kind of confused and just said "oh, I'm sorry that happened to you?" I think he thinks I just went on a rough diet in college once or something. Never brought it up again, learned my lesson.

My girlfriend, I love her so much. But she has a host of issues (and bad luck) that she deals with all the time. I'm her emotional rock. She says I can still come to her for help of course, but what am I supposed to do? Interrupt her crying on my shoulder and say "shhhh shhh, it's my turn now. I almost started crying over free blackberries at work today" yeah. I don't think so.
A few days ago I was asleep on the couch. And she picked me up to carry me to bed. I half woke up and mumbled "babe, I can walk. I'm too heavy. You don't have to carry me" and she put me down on the bed and very seriously said "hey. Dont say that. You know you aren't like that. You look beautiful. Please don't say things like that" it just made me feel guilty as fuck, and i didn't want to say anything about me being heavy or fat or chubby to her ever again. So I feel like even if I could I wouldn't want to bring it up because she'd be sick of it.

My female friend, she tries. I've mentioned before how she's not...great, support, but she does try to be better so I haven't given up on coming to her for help. But I think on done on that one too. I don't think she fully comprehends it either. I had a mild panic attack for the entirety of me going out to buy soup for lunch yesterday. I could barely handle it and then wanted to purge once I had gotten back to work and ate the 290 cal soup. I tried to tell her about it and she replied "Awh, I'm sorry dude. Are you ok now?" Like I don't know, is it just me? I feel like I'd say that to someone who texted me that they stubbed their toe really bad. Not to someone who was trying not to have a meltdown at work over food. Every response from her starts with that stupid "Awh," which feels so condescending to me. I feel like I'm just being humored, not taking seriously. Is it just.me? I mean it probably is.

They don't get what hell it feels like sometimes being so stressed over food. And I'm glad none of them fully understands it, in a way. But I feel really alone because when they can't understand it, They don't get how bad it feels. I'm starting to consider I might just need some regular therapy or something. That'll be something to look forward to once I have health insurance straightened out for myself. Maybe someday.


/Vent 😶

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[Other] I'm back, and I'm fat again.
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 114 | BMI 17 | -11 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 09:13:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mdbob/im_back_and_im_fat_again/
---
I don't know if any of you remember me, but I used to be pretty active. Since then I managed to gain everything back. I'm back at my starting weight of 56 kilograms. I feel so bad because I can't even do this right. I think about food and calories every day, I wake up each day thinking I will stop binge eating, but ultimately i always give in and gorge. I'm sorry for this negative post, but hopefully I'll get back on track. Also if anyone has any tips to stop bingeing once and for all, please share i'd really appreciate that x

---

[Tip] PSA for coffee lovers.
/u/KillingKylie [5'5| Piggy|-25|F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 08:59:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4md95s/psa_for_coffee_lovers/
---
The Target brand light roast hazelnut coffee is amazing and only like $5. <3

---

[Help] Have not lost a single pound in three weeks.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 3 08:08:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4md0v6/have_not_lost_a_single_pound_in_three_weeks/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Pre prepped food.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 07:54:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mcyl4/pre_prepped_food/
---
I went on a produce shopping haul. I cut everything up and made about 10 different soups... now the trouble is wanting to eat them. Yesterday I ate watermelon and felt ill, then while prepping the veggies I ate a few handfuls (didn't measure how much I ate like an idiot) of assorted veggies and wanted to purge. I don't want to waste my soup, but I want to waste away.....

---

[Tip] Vitamin Water Zero
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 113 | 21.41 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 07:53:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mcyj1/vitamin_water_zero/
---
I was wondering if anyone else uses vitamin water zero. My local grocery store had them on sale so I picked up a bunch. They are delicious and keep me full for hours! The additional vitamins are a plus. They use erythritol to sweeten the drink. Erythritol is a natural sweetener that is safe to consume in large quantities/daily. It is a carb though, so if you're watching carb intake, one bottle usually has 3 - 4 grams. Would recommend.

---

[Discussion] Any of you guys have a personal trainer?
/u/lifetc
Created: Fri Jun 3 07:27:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mcurf/any_of_you_guys_have_a_personal_trainer/
---
Curious if any of you guys have a trainer of some kind?

I first trained with someone when I was 15. It was the first time I really 'got' that weight was something you could control, that would respond to exercise (which sounds weird, but my parents always were in denial about it being possible to lose weight - probably easier if you can just write it off as genetics rather than something worth putting hard work into).

Now that I'm an adult (and 7+ years into this ED bullshit), it feels weird. I got a session today as a kind of one-off to get me back into basic weight training, but it's strange how it feels.

Sometimes having a trainer is like having a physical manifestation of the voice in my head. It's like an actual person standing there telling you to work harder, not to give bullshit excuses, and generally also (because trainers, obv, are mostly in good shape) as a physical example of what I want to look like. And how working out makes you feel fatter and grosser and just like shit (endorphins aside).

It just struck me that a session with a personal trainer is like the completely, total opposite of, say, being in a treatment centre. In treatment, you're second-guessing yourself constantly and beating yourself up for not being better at recovery, and having to stop all these thoughts about body-image etc etc etc. With a trainer, all that stuff is sort of validated - at least, it's sort of assumed that it's OK to want to look better, because that's why you're there. Although, obviously you can't really tell a trainer how important this stuff is to you.

Thinking about all this outloud, and obviously there is no problem most first-world than those which involve a personal trainer. But, yeah.

---

[Rant/Rave] I was so close to having a good day
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 06:29:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mcmrt/i_was_so_close_to_having_a_good_day/
---
In a house full of friends vacationing together I managed to smoothly skip breakfast without anyone noticing.

I had a single egg with a little cheese for lunch.

Then, 3pm, I started picking at the leftover donuts in the kitchen. By dinner I had eaten TWO 300 CALORIE DONUTS.

Ruined the day. All that careful avoidance of food, all that successful self control and subtle restriction right down the drain. A great 600-calorie day doubled to disgusting with some mindless snacking.

Not so today. Today I will follow the same path and not fall. Wish me luck, darlings.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! June 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jun 3 06:03:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mcjel/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_june_03_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for June 03, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] Yay for being female
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 05:07:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mcddf/yay_for_being_female/
---
Sarcasm of course. It's so frustrating to be a short female, I feel like every time a lose I end up gaining. This time it's 4 pounds and I know it's from bloat from my period but come on. I hate the hormones and everything that goes with it. So today I start my coffee fast nothing but coffee and water for the day. Tomorrow starts my staycation so I'll be cutting to 300 calories a day for the entire staycation. Gotta stay on track and hit my goal by the July 4th weekend and doing 800 calories a day max just isn't cutting it.

---

[Rant/Rave] Irrational? Rational? I don't even know anymore
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 3 03:43:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mc568/irrational_rational_i_dont_even_know_anymore/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Lost period at healthy weight/bmi/bf%....?
/u/qwertylooping [5' 3" | LW 107 | CW: dory speaks my language]
Created: Fri Jun 3 03:18:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mc2km/lost_period_at_healthy_weightbmibf/
---
So I'm wondering if anyone's lost their period despite being at a healthy weight & having a normal bmi and body fat percentage? My period's about 20 days late at this point, and I've had a pretty consistent cycle the past couple of years. I've only ever skipped one period and that was over a year ago, before I was sexually active.

I've already taken a pregnancy test which turned out negative (thank the lord) but scheduled a gyno appointment just in case.

I'm pretty active and hit the gym almost daily, and achieved a pretty low body fat percentage a month or two ago before entering a vicious b/p cycle which caused me to gain 5-7 lbs. So that should kickstart the menses up again, no?? I know that body fat is what regulates hormone production and that's why many female athletes lose their periods, and I'm sure that I'm missing out on lots of nutrients & messing with my electrolyte balance by purging so often....I'm wondering if this loss is possibly due to higher stress on my body, or the body fat percentage or a combination of the both? Has anyone else experienced this?

---

[Other] Breakfast. Bonus: coffee in a T cup
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 03:08:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mc1n5/breakfast_bonus_coffee_in_a_t_cup/
---
http://imgur.com/etlM4Vl

---

[Help] Keeping energy up on liquid fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 3 01:30:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mbsd3/keeping_energy_up_on_liquid_fast/
---
I don't like the artificial sweeteners and colors in Gatorade but that stuff has always kept me from shaking and dry heaving. I get the shakes, bad, after 8 hours or so fasting. Is there anything else that has the same electrolytes or *whatever* Gatorade provides? What exactly is it in Gatorade that makes it so popular as an energy drink??

---

[Help] My BPM has drastically dropped
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11½ | 138.2 | 18.93 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 01:06:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mbpux/my_bpm_has_drastically_dropped/
---
At least according to my fitbit charge HR. A few weeks ago I was hovering between 60-64BPM, now it's around 53-54? Has anyone else experienced something similar, or know why its happened?

---

[Rant/Rave] I want to fast, damnit.
/u/littleredhoodrat [5'4 | 108 | 18.9 | -34 | F]
Created: Fri Jun 3 00:50:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mbo4d/i_want_to_fast_damnit/
---
I hate my medication because I need to take it twice a day *with food* otherwise it's nausea/vomiting city. I need the meds on a permanent basis, and I miss fasting so much

---

[Discussion] *sighs* I just keep gravitating back
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jun 3 00:41:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mbn0z/sighs_i_just_keep_gravitating_back/
---
maybe I really belong here.

I keep bouncing from "recovery" (that is in big fat parentheses) to "living the lifestyle".

I'm not telling anyone to "choose recovery" but I've seen the beauty in a healthy calorie-balanced diet... but the Ana way... is just as beautiful if not more.

It's midnight in 20 minutes. I'm going for a liquids fast, drinking senna tea... hopefully I'll be, um, getting rid of some things. Gross, I know, but every .5 lb counts on that damn scale.

Sometimes I want to smash that scale.

---

[Help] Will people notice if I have a BMI of 17?
/u/Merida18 [5'7 |121| 18.99 | ~29 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 23:51:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mbhmg/will_people_notice_if_i_have_a_bmi_of_17/
---
I'm new to this sub, and it's really been helping me not binge recently.

I started about 2 years ago and I was over 150 lbs. I'm not sure exactly how much I weighed because that was after a month of of slight restriction. I lost almost 20 pounds in 2 months through heavy restriction. I went on vacation and gained about 5 lbs and lost it again. 130 was my goal weight then since I had a hard time maintaining (my eating habits before were to eat until I was stuffed).

During the winter I gained 10 pounds and was up to 140, then I lost up to 120 in the summer. Again I gained 15 pounds during the winter and was 135, now I'm finally 121 and my goal was 115.

I've realized that my thighs and butt are still huge, since I'm very pear-shaped. I want to get down to 110 and my bmi would be about 17. I have really bad depression and anxiety and I'm scared that people will notice (Drs, therapists, my parents etc.) I just want to be able to go out since last summer I couldn't even take my clothes off at the beach last year since my thighs were also so big. Also my butt is 37-38 inches which is huge and sometimes creepy guys will say something or look at it (or even smack it) and that never happens when I'm wearing baggy clothes that cover it, and I would just feel so much more comfortable without it. I feel like 10 pounds isn't a huge difference (like from 130-120) but if I'm underweight I'm scared that it'll be more visible.

TL;DR Will other people think that I look unhealthy/underweight at a BMI of 17?

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[Intro] 48 Days to lose as much weight as possible
/u/savetheexplosion [5'2 | fat | Female]
Created: Thu Jun 2 23:33:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mbfkg/48_days_to_lose_as_much_weight_as_possible/
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I have 48 days to lose as much weight as possible.. my friend and I are going on a trip and I'm disgusting. I'm an embarrassment to be around and it's embarrassing knowing what people think when they see me. I want to fit in (poor choice of words), I don't want to be the big friend with her anymore.

I struggle with binge eating but don't usually purge. I am going to be working long hours at work so my tentative plan is to pack fruits/veggies and not much else. When I have to eat I will make it almost all fruits and veggies in hopes of cutting out a lot of calories. Not too sure why I'm posting this here. It's my first post but I guess I'm just trying to dive in to this community. I lurk here a lot and there's a lot of great people here. Do you guys have any other ideas? Typically if I restrict too much it leads to binging. So I more or less yo-yo my weight and eating. I'm hoping allowing myself to eat, say, a bag of broccoli won't effect me too much. Hope this is allowed here. It's more just me rambling but maybe this will help me.

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[Help] Double digits by the end of June
/u/bougainvilleas [5'5.5" | 101 | 16.6 | -11 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 20:43:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mau6a/double_digits_by_the_end_of_june/
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I was at my lowest weight of 100.8 lbs (bmi 16.5) a few weeks ago, and finally on track to get to my goal of 95. Then I somehow managed to forget that food has consequences and spent days and days badly overeating -- I'm now back at 104.5, my highest weight since January, and I can physically feel the extra fat on my legs, hips, stomach when I sit or walk or do anything. It's nauseating. And it makes me feel like the horrible struggle of the last 5 months didn't even matter.

Had a blissful 24-hour fast yesterday to today and was finally ready to fix all this -- but just binged on 1400 calories and canceled it all out, or probably worse.

I'm thoroughly disgusted with myself. I really really want to be 99 or lower by the end of the month -- and I just need someone right now to tell me that's possible, please? How do other people seem to have so much more control? I feel so sad that I essentially haven't made any progress in a whole half-year.

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[Rant/Rave] "You're going to have a heart attack before you're 30 years old"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 20:35:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mat8v/youre_going_to_have_a_heart_attack_before_youre/
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[deleted]

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[Other] These are my go-to summer shorts - they fake a thigh gap and hold in my love handles
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 19:14:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4mahj1/these_are_my_goto_summer_shorts_they_fake_a_thigh/
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http://www.garageclothing.com/ca/midnight-tint-cuffed-short/p/100014221

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[Other] Is anyone else really scared they'll die this way?
/u/Astroyeti
Created: Thu Jun 2 18:13:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ma80a/is_anyone_else_really_scared_theyll_die_this_way/
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To be quite honest, I'm not ready to get better. I don't feel sick enough or thin enough or as though I've even been sick long enough, and I can't stand the idea of being at a BMI of 20 (the BMI my therapist has decided for me, as opposed to the 19 my doctor chose) especially when my thighs are so huge and slap together at a BMI of 17. But at the same time, I'm not ready to die and I genuinely don't wish to die, and even though I don't restrict to very little, I still fear I'll be another case of the anorexic that died when they shouldn't have, and especially one that dies at a higher BMI. And I don't know what to do either. Does anyone else frel that way?

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[Help] Gained 2 (actual) pounds over Memorial Day weekend...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 17:33:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ma1tz/gained_2_actual_pounds_over_memorial_day_weekend/
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[deleted]

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[Intro] I feel so blessed finding this subreddit
/u/mooonwitch [5'5''| too fat | F/22]
Created: Thu Jun 2 17:22:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ma0af/i_feel_so_blessed_finding_this_subreddit/
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Hey guys, just wanted to post an intro since I've been lurking for a while.

I used to restrict pretty hard in high school. I was a dancer and its pretty impossible to come out of that lifestyle without body image issues. I was always obsessed with food as a kid and once I started taking ballet seriously I dropped about 20 pounds in a short amount of time. I got applauded for it by my teachers and directors. I had to quit eventually because I started to turn into Natalie Portman's character in the Black Swan.

I kinda stopped restricting after I quit and binged a lot leading into college due to boredom and other things. During college I started lifting weights to increase my metabolism and it worked for awhile. Eventually I felt distracted enough by friends and school that I stopped worrying so much. But about a couple of months before graduation I started restricting again but it backfired with all the parties and senior week. I can't stop thinking about how gross I've become and I was really mad at myself. I'm also super unemployed and depressed right now which just makes me feel more worthless. I just need to lose weight before I can feel functional at this point.

So yeah, sorry for ranting and thanks for reading. You all seem so lovely and its comforting to have such an amazing community of people who are compassionate and understanding :)

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Weed can make you skinny??!!¿?
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 17:03:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m9x8b/weed_can_make_you_skinny/
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https://www.facebook.com/218530274960132/videos/899641220182364/

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[Intro] Hi.
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 113 | 21.41 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 15:54:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m9mnf/hi/
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Hi.

This is a throw away since my boyfriend knows my normal account.

I'll go by the name K.

The height of my eating disorder was 3 years ago. I went from 140 to 110 in a few months. It felt nice to go from being so fat to a decent size.

During this time, my mom found out I was throwing up after most meals and I fainted while at work. I was forced to gain back my original weight or deal with constant fights with my parents. I ended up going back up to 130.

That didn't get rid of my disordered eating.

I've moved out about a year ago and since have dropped back to 118. My goal is to get to 100.

Fun fact: I'm hypoglycemic.

I'm excited to meet everyone and I hope we can all be of some support to each other.

~K

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[Rant/Rave] Worthless
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 15:51:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m9m7a/worthless/
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[deleted]

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[Other] I'm struggling.
/u/bingingpig
Created: Thu Jun 2 14:37:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m99bq/im_struggling/
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I hate how my anxiety and depression makes me binge eat. I hate how I do well for a couple of days/weeks and then get a panic attack that drains me of all of my energy and how my meds make me hungrier. I hate how I always end up eating, mindlessly eating rubbish. I don't even remember opening the cabinets. I find myself by the table stuffing myself with sweets and not being able to stop. Not having realised what I have done until it's too late. The harm is already done. It's inside of me.

And I cant purge. Don't get me wrong. I want to. So much. But it's like I have to punish myself with just letting it sit there so I can let the ache in my belly give me regrets. Make it a reminder of the reason for why I have gotten so fucking big. I weight myself in the morning to feed the remorse. And then I restrict the day after. It goes well, and then, sometimes the same day, maybe few days later; back to the beginning of a vicious cycle. Back to anxiety. Back to depression. Back to binging.


Years ago, before I even developed anxiety and depression of this magnitude, restricting was no problem. I could go on for weeks by only eating an apple at lunch and a tiny-bit of dinner, since that's always a family-time, so I had to sit there. If I was home alone I wouldn't eat. I didn't have to. I was busy at school and such, so it was very easy to just tell people that I didn't have the time to eat. And also got away with telling them that I already ate.

And now I'm feeling like I loosing control. I'm binging. Emotional-eat, to try to forget about being depressed and afraid. I won't get busy with stuff because of depression. I won't meet people because of anxiety. Instead I sit at home, and binge. It's disgusting.

I hate to look at myself in the mirror. I've gotten huge. I can feel the rolls on my belly when I sit down. I used to feel my bones when I sat down. I can't even find them now. I used to feel my ribs pushing through my skin when I laid down, I can feel them with my hands if I push. I had so gorgeous cheek-bones, I used to be pretty in my face, not anymore. My arms are the biggest flaps I've ever seen. I've never been this big. I want to be small again. With a tiny waist. I used to be so powerful and now I am so weak.

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[Rant/Rave] Coping with irrational feels post-binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 14:34:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m98yi/coping_with_irrational_feels_postbinge/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Actually proud of myself...
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 13:48:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m90it/actually_proud_of_myself/
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So last night, when I was just sitting down, I was light headed, absurdly thirsty even after drinking a bunch of water, my vision was weird, and I felt like I couldn't move my arms. I assume it was either low blood sugar or just my normal iron deficiency. I pushed through it and fasted (except for a zero calorie/sugar/carb energy drink) until a little while ago. Instead of binging on high sugar and high fat food like I wanted to, I had an egg white omelette with spinach and a teaspoon of skim mozzarella . After I finished that I was still hungry and cake was calling my name. INSTEAD, I had another cup of raw spinach with an infinitesimal amount of balsamic vinegar. Now I'm sipping a cup of lavender tea. Even though I'm disappointed that I broke my fast just short of 24 hours, I'm proud of myself for breaking it with low calorie, nutritionally dense foods.


Edit: Now I just have to stop myself from purging it all away...

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[Rant/Rave] Really want to share my excitement but no-one in my life to talk to.
/u/Jiggleepoof
Created: Thu Jun 2 12:43:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m8ocy/really_want_to_share_my_excitement_but_noone_in/
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I lost 70 lbs in the last 11 months, still have 14 more to get to my goal but I'm still happy where I'm at and I wanted to share/ talk about it.

I was a size XL/16 last June and today I'm in size 2 jeans (from kohls- Lauren Conrad--which I'm positive is vanity sizing but it's still exciting to be a size 2) and a small top.

I've never worn size 2, thought it was unattainable. Anyone in my life I could potentially share this with would assume I was bragging, bring up ED talk, or get upset with me for sharing; so I decided to do it here.

Thank you for listening. Have a beautiful day!

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[Discussion] Primatene vs Bronkaid which is better?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 131.9lb | 19.13 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 12:40:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m8nvn/primatene_vs_bronkaid_which_is_better/
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I've been thinking about EC stacking and I noticed that some people use bronkaid while others use primatene. What's the difference? Which one is better?

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I work in a drug store
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 12:40:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m8nr2/i_work_in_a_drug_store/
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[deleted]

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[Help] I'm so torn...
/u/wishfulthinkings [5'4" | 133.2 | 23.31 | -40.8]
Created: Thu Jun 2 12:23:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m8kp6/im_so_torn/
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I don't know how to feel right now.

 

I have the body type of a pear. I am really small on top (size small shirts, a-b cup bras, etc...). You can see my ribs on the top of my chest and sides, neck bones are very prominent.

 

My waist is nice. It's slim. Has a bit of the stomach pouch but I don't really mind that so much.

 

I have an enormous bottom. My ass is like...whoa! I finally started fitting in size 8 jeans. I wear x-large bikini bottoms. Large underwear. You get the picture.

 

Anyways, I am torn because everybody in my life tells me how much they envy my shape and body. I look slim and petite with curves. Yay? I don't know how to feel about it. I so desperately want to be tiny and fragile, but at the same time I do hear these people. I do recognize that my ass could be an asset. Everyone keeps saying not to lose anymore weight or my shape won't be as awesome...

 

I want to lose more weight though. So badly. I want to be so tiny and fragile and small. I want to feel like I could disappear when those that I love hug me.

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Feeling like a knob
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 12:12:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m8in9/feeling_like_a_knob/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Attempted to recover; I failed.
/u/DerangedButFun [5'6" | CW 181/ GW 130 | 29.2 | -24 | f]
Created: Thu Jun 2 11:46:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m8dzy/attempted_to_recover_i_failed/
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Dealing with a relapse right now. It feels like at this point I will never escape this cycle of self-abuse, and at this point I'm not sure if I even want to try recovering again.

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[Discussion] OMG hallelujah finally picked up my Bronkaid after my last pack got stolen
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jun 2 11:25:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m8a5g/omg_hallelujah_finally_picked_up_my_bronkaid/
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So, over the long weekend, I went to a music festival and camped with some "friends". My Primatene was stolen during this time, and as a result, I ate at JUST BARELY maintenance (so close to going over)

Then, on Tuesday night after grocery shopping and restricting pretty nicely all day, BOOM. Binge.

- 2 freezer burritos
- 2 uncrustable PB&Js
- a huge bowl of cereal

(and I feel like there was something else I can't remember)

But anyway, doesn't seem like much, but I was to the point of not being able to move/breathe and in pain.

Any today I picked up bronkaid to substitute my primatene (I was almost building a tolerance) and so far I really like it.

I bet if I took two, I'd be cleaning my whole house.

EDIT: OH YEAH. And I gained three pounds (real pounds, not just food weight) so I'll be updating my flair from 115 back to 118. Whoo hoo.

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Oh my
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 11:01:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m85xp/oh_my/
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[deleted]

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Oh
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 11:00:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m85qk/oh/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I need to lose at least 3 pounds in a week. I need to get skinny. I need it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 10:53:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m84by/i_need_to_lose_at_least_3_pounds_in_a_week_i_need/
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[deleted]

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[Help] I wish I could restrict without losing weight.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 10:52:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m846f/i_wish_i_could_restrict_without_losing_weight/
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I feel so lost and sad right now. I guess I'm just looking for some support, kind words, advice?

My family is concerned about me and while I'm not underweight, I'm at the point where losing more weight would require me to buy new clothes / people at work are noticing / I'm noticeably average-to-thin looking...and I want to stop. I tried to eat maintenance yesterday, but it was just so much food.

I wish there was a way that I could restrict my intake without losing any more weight. I wish I could maintain my without eating more than feels "safe".

I'm so conflicted. This is the first time that I've realized how bad my ED has gotten. I always thought I was in control, that I was just losing a bit of weight...but I don't think I have any control anymore. I feel like I can't stop and I'm so scared.

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[Goal] My newest jeans 😱
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 10:03:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m7vgh/my_newest_jeans/
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http://imgur.com/zSOAvqS

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 2 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m7va7/daily_food_diary_june_02_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for June 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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Anyone here successfully got to underweight (under BMI 15.5) and maintained after age 30?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 09:54:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m7tvg/anyone_here_successfully_got_to_underweight_under/
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[deleted]

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[Help] An acquaintance found out, how do I deal?
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 102.9 lb | 19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 09:54:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m7ttv/an_acquaintance_found_out_how_do_i_deal/
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Hey all, so on my study abroad in Italy we have this year-end yearbook type thing where we write tips/tricks/anecdotes for people in the future. I wrote "I don't regretti throwing up all that spaghetti - a bulimic girl" when nobody was looking, but then a few minutes later this guy comes up to me like "if you need someone to talk to I'm here, people care about you" etc.... I acted aloof but I mean if he knows should I just joke about it like "your comment earlier made me gag" or should I tell him to fuck off or should I just drop it and ignore him for the last few days or what?

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[Discussion] Anyone else here at a normal BMI but with a high BF%/actually quite chubby?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Thu Jun 2 08:41:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m7gyw/anyone_else_here_at_a_normal_bmi_but_with_a_high/
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I was going to post a photo the other day about how I've been losing weight weirdly from my stomach until I realised how my stomach has insane amounts of fat on it, especially compared to some of the people on here. I'm at a 21.1 BMI at the moment which is meant to be 'normal' but I have so much fat on me, and not in a dysmorphic way - I am 100% 'chubby' in anyone's eyes. Anyone who can identify with this???

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[Help] I need to look skinny in 2 weeks. Help.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jun 2 08:30:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m7f56/i_need_to_look_skinny_in_2_weeks_help/
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[removed]

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[Other] Nothing makes me feel more like a fat shit than pretty, thin girls
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 08:00:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m7a1f/nothing_makes_me_feel_more_like_a_fat_shit_than/
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I'm starting university in September (third times the charm, fingers crossed) and these goddamn introduction posts in my school's Facebook group are KILLING me.

My boyfriend even knew they were going to upset me, cause I'm petty and insecure.


But GODDAMN these thin pretty girls who look perfect in all their pictures in bikinis with long hair and perfect faces, Ugh.

And I am so petty, cause internally I hate these girls, I resent them for being what I wish I was and that's just wrong.

Plus, with my boyfriend I've dug myself into this hole of "its cool to say other girls are hot" to me.
So he'll comment on how hot these perfect girls are.

It's not like he doesn't say nice things about me, but when someones so obviously beter than me it still hurts.

I can't go back on it cause he'll get mad, cause apparently I'm "always" changing my mind. but I used to be cool with it and now it just feeds into my self hatred and ugh ugh ugh.

It just makes me hate myself.

Why do I have to be such a fat shit?

Why can't I be like them?

I suck.

I don't even know what the point of this was, but you guys get me and I needed to vent.

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[Help] no energy to exercise. feel like a fat failure
/u/tartansheep [5'10.5 | 146lb|20.3 | -10lb| F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 06:16:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m6uub/no_energy_to_exercise_feel_like_a_fat_failure/
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hi there

recently relapsed (my lowest weight was just under 109lb but I Was 5'9 then). Last time I was ill I was running 10 miles a day, every day. Now I just.. lie in bed all day and barely burn anything. I don't even leave the house often!

Help me :( I need to lose this weight but if I don't work out then what's the point in being alive?! So many people with an ED exercise obsessively and I just. sit here and watch myself get fatter and fatter ad fatter

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[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support June 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jun 2 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m6t0i/weekly_emotional_support_june_02_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Other] [Other]Nothing motivates like new clothes that don't fit.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 03:42:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m6egv/othernothing_motivates_like_new_clothes_that_dont/
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Bought four tops today, not one covers my stomach. Better get abs.

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[Help] Is this normal?
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 130 | 21 | -35 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 03:26:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m6cz0/is_this_normal/
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It looks like I'm becoming someone I'm not. My whole body is changing in a weird way. I used to have somewhat of a hourglass shaped body. Now suddenly my upper body looks ok, while all my fat stays in my hips, ass and thighs. That didn't happen to me before. I suddenly have acne, which I never had when I was a teenager. My hair used to be super healthy and straight, but now it's fuzzy and curly.

I know it's not because of my ED. It's something that happened in the last 5 years and I had my ED before that. It's just like everything is changing and I feel very insecure. I know this shouldn't be posted here, but I trust the people here and I really didn't knew where else to go with it.

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[Help] Erm.. quick question: Do any of you pee a lot after binging/a period of higher intake?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jun 2 02:44:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m694a/erm_quick_question_do_any_of_you_pee_a_lot_after/
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My intake was much higher for about 6 days. I am back to my usual routine for 2 days now.. although not fasting or going too hard on the restriction, mind.. and am peeing like a race horse. I KEEP PEEING. I havn't upped my fluid intake.

I'm *wondering* whether it's my body getting rid of the water weight I gained during the period of higher intake/binging? Does that happen, water weight going away through pee? I kinda just assumed your body would use the stored water for bodily needs, but with all the peeing.. not sure now?

In all my time restricting, even with binging, I've never experienced this - but previous to last week, my binging was only restricted to one day and I've never had more than one or two days of higher intake before then (and never has my intake been quite SO high..). So I'm wondering if the fact my intake was higher for a good week or so, and now I'm back to restricting/'eating normally' (for me) means I had more water weight and I'm now shedding all of it, and this is how my body is doing it? With pee. Lots of pee. So much pee guys.

tl;dr Why am I peeing so much lol :(

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[Intro] I want my old body back.
/u/selfofsteam [5'4 | 120 lbs | 20.6 | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 02:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m65b7/i_want_my_old_body_back/
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Hello! Been mostly lurking but I'm a bit new here.

It's been almost 3 years since my lowest weight (5'4" ~95lbs) and I miss it so. damn. much.

Since then, I gained 40 pounds, lost 30, gained 10 back. So I'm halfway there. I guess I'm putting these old pictures up to keep myself accountable. I'm tired of hating my body.

http://imgur.com/a/BuCrs
(I don't have pictures at my lw - these are 5-10 lbs heavier.)

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[Rant/Rave] "You're getting too skinny, it's ugly"
/u/Kaibutsu-chi [Height: 5'3 | CW: 107lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 01:10:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m603c/youre_getting_too_skinny_its_ugly/
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My sister recently commented on how my face is getting too skinny but the rest of me is fine.
"I hated how my face looked when I was at your weight, it looked so ugly on me. Same thing is happening with you. Your body is fine but your face is too skinny, it's ugly" She told me.
I'm torn by this. It hurts to know that what I'm doing to myself to look bearable is just making me uglier but I can't help but feel happy that someone is finally noticing a difference.


There's no point in this post, I just wanted to let it out to someone who wont think I'm crazy

---

[Rant/Rave] So apparently I'm a faker.
/u/thatsApunk [5'9" | 129.2| 18.74 | -40.5 | F]
Created: Thu Jun 2 00:43:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m5x4c/so_apparently_im_a_faker/
---
So I've never really posted or introduced myself before but I'm so upset and I really don't know where to go. I finally admitted to my boyfriend that I think I might have BED and he called me a liar. He said people who say that are hiding behind their lack of willpower and making up diseases. I'm so upset I don't know what to do. I finally felt like I could tell him something thats going on with my head, that might be a real issue and he completely blew me off and made me feel like shit. I honestly feel like I can't tell him anything and it hurts me so much...like anytime I even start to mention anything he just makes me feel like I'm a phony. Its breaking me down, and honestly its making it worse...I just want to cry so bad right now. I just binged, I feel like shit, but I was ready to open up to him and it all came crashing down and I'm just so broken...

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else do this?
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 23:20:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m5nhs/does_anyone_else_do_this/
---
Okay so first things first I can't flair I'm sorry I'm on mobile :(
But do you guys ever guess how many calories is in each bite? Like my friend let me have a lick of her ice cream cone and I regretted it right after because all I could think was 'that was probably like 50 calories'

---

Losing 10 lbs, starting tomorrow ?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 1 22:48:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m5jhm/losing_10_lbs_starting_tomorrow/
---
[removed]

---

[Intro] I hate myself
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Wed Jun 1 22:24:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m5g5d/i_hate_myself/
---
I'm going to call this my second relapse. I don't want to tell you guys how much I used to weight because I've become such a pig since then. I'm seriously fucking regretting everything right now. I gained 30 pounds. Please tell me I'm not alone...

---

[Rant/Rave] EVERY time I feel like I have a shred of confidence...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 1 21:57:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m5c9b/every_time_i_feel_like_i_have_a_shred_of/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Fell down, almost fainted
/u/inezz [5'8'' | 145 | 21.81 | -21 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 20:39:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m50y3/fell_down_almost_fainted/
---
Pretty new here, but I am scared.
I have been restricting to 500 calories or less for a while now, I have fasted a few times but didn't make it longer than a day. I made it 37 hours and had a packet of grits (100 calories) around lunch today to break it. Just about an hour ago after 9pm, I stood up and felt like somebody knocked me the heck out. I didn't realize I fell for about 5-10 seconds. It was very scary and I had a horrible feeling like I was going to pass out. Is this fasting related even though I broke it? How can I avoid this? It was terrifying. I crawled to the fridge (dramatic, I know) and ate some chocolate pudding (blood sugar?) and just now am feeling better.

---

[Discussion] MFP Friends?
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 20:17:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m4xkp/mfp_friends/
---
Hey! So I am only recently able to make my own meals, so I've finally been able to truly log my food rather than poorly guesstimating everything. I'd love to get meal ideas from all of you! However I saw a post from someone recently on /r/1200isplenty or /r/1200isplentyketo about someone noticing another person who regularly are under 1000 calories, and I don't want to invite any of that scrutiny.

So yeah, anyone want to be MFP friends?

---

[Rant/Rave] FUCK!!!
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 63kg (141lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 19:46:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m4sx2/fuck/
---
I have to go to the doctors in T-minus 20min. The same doctor that, not a week ago, told me that I didn't have an eating disorder, and that me my mother and my THERAPIST were being silly.

i'm scared. i'm at my highest weight in like three weeks because that damn therapist wanted me to maintain and I fucked up. he's just going to think i'm a silly fat cow. I HATE being invalidated like that! goddammit I am not afraid to admit it, _i have an eating disorder!_ ~~or at least disordered eating but still~~

I can't even switch doctors. as my mum said, it's him or the emergency room. all because I got dizzy (#400kcal ftw) and fell over :(

i'm scared, Reddit.

---

[Rant/Rave] Just a couple of things.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 19:17:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m4oho/just_a_couple_of_things/
---
I think maybe I just hate having a body. We are entitled hating and loving bits, but there's just something wrong with all of mine, in my eyes. I hate that my belly pokes out if I eat just the littlest bit. Its cute on cats. And dogs. Not on me ); I ate shitty, but a lot less than what I logged. I went bikini shopping. Those alleged "skinny" mirrors are useless. My tummy still pokes out. I know I've been a pig, but I'm trying again. And goddammit. I'm 108 in the morning but that's just dehydration from a night of drinking. I haven't seen that 111 in a long time, but since I've let myself go too much...uh. these bathing suits don't do justice to me at all. Not to mention since I'm flat chested, guess where all my fat goes? Not my ass unfortunately. Right in the middle.
I'm a goddamn banana in a bathing suit with a flabby version of Arnold Schwarzenegger's thighs. I've been horribly lazy about the gym. And of course I can lose a ton of weight in the winter when nobody sees me, but some how always balloon up when everyone can. Goddamn holidays and bbqs and alcoholism. Its making me cross eyed. Also fat. I am avoiding pigging out. As I've been a pig enough. I HATE BIKINIS AND SHOWING SKIN. How come all yall are so damn gorgeous? Not that it's a bad thing. I'm just terrified that when I go to the beach I'll look like a pregnant stick with Arnold thighs and all these beautiful busty, beachy chicks will steal my thunder (thighs). Also confidence, I need some of that. I wish I could buy it somewhere. I'm just a broke punk mom with a helpful family and bad bad bad self esteem. I will regret this rant later probably. Haha I love you guys. Stay gorgeous, loves <3

---

[Rant/Rave] THREE DAYS
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Wed Jun 1 19:14:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m4o0g/three_days/
---
Binging like the fucking Romans, like Chris Christie, like the type of people I see at Kroger that give me anxiety.

It's disgusting. I eat trash because I am trash.

[groaning]

---

[Intro] How my ED improved my life
/u/sweetmoo
Created: Wed Jun 1 18:29:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m4hdi/how_my_ed_improved_my_life/
---
Hi friends. This forum has helped me so much. I thought I would share my experience with my ED - restriction-based - in a safe place. No one knows really that I have an ED, but BF has his suspicions.

To summarize: I turned my life around in 2014 and lost 30lbs at 5'5", 160 shocking pounds through a lifestyle change. People were noticing. I started bodybuilding and reconfigured and ended up around 150lbs last July looking really fit, not drinking, and hyper-IIFYM.

That month (July 2015), I had a life changing experience (one of many, not necessarily healthy or positive) that has led me to a current state of a muscular 128lbs.

In the almost year since I started restricting heavily, occasionally purging, and completely obsessing over food/weight/clothing size (went from a U.S. 12 to 2), my life has changed absolutely.

People notice. People OBSESS over my weight loss, more than when I was fit as hell! I haven't been to the gym since last July. I have a labor intensive job, farm, and walk. I tell them those activities are the key to my success along with "watching what I eat." If they only knew the obsession!

Now more than ever, I have endless male and female attention. I have received a serious promotion. I have earned several raises. I am more confident. I don't wear all black anymore - I wear color, dresses, and whatever the hell else I want.

My family adores me and is more proud of me than ever without explicitly stating why. My best friend bought my (sadly) overweight cousin some bracelets. Cousin immediately admitted they don't fit and handed them to me. They barely fit. I never wear bracelets. I do now...

I piss my BF off with my pickiness. I had an emergency appendectomy in January which has fucked up my digestion but in reality allows me to stick to my safe foods - chicken, lettuce, veg, yogurt, and booze.

I'm not proclaiming to be the healthiest person I know, but no one would ever guess. My ED keeps me safe, happy (also tortured), confident, progressive, self-critical, and in control.

I am no longer bemoaning jeans that don't fit. I don't have boobs that I want to hide. I have a jawline. I have constant "don't lose it all!" comments. I am getting weaker. I am losing hair. I am stressed about food 100% of the time.

But I am better than I was before. I will be 120. I will be delicate and complement my farmer boyfriend most perfectly in the physical sense. I will inspire others to lose weight.

Thanks guys.

---

[Help] Please help...I really need to know if I'll have trouble at the dentist. Have any of you had a bad experience at the dentist.
/u/sadgal13
Created: Wed Jun 1 17:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m45ny/please_helpi_really_need_to_know_if_ill_have/
---
I've been purging since the beginning of this year now. I used to purge 2-3 times a day, but now I only do when I binge (maybe about 3-4 times a week). I noticed that one of my teeth look like this

http://www.dutamasdental.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/first-molars.png

and in the front of my mouth at the bottom, the tips are now translucent, which I know is from acid erosion, just like this

https://edc2.healthtap.com/ht-staging/user_answer/avatars/987443/large/04-Retracted-Open.jpeg?1386647119

so will they know its from purging? I don't know if I can just say that I drink a lot of diet soda and flavored water (which I actually do, maybe 2-3 times a day usually) or maybe they'll say its from acid reflux (which my mom has and thinks I may have, and I might just have it) but honestly I'm scared to go to the dentist. I'm scared they're gonna drop right to the conclusion that I purge.

How about you guys? What's your experience with dentists and your teeth? Have they ever known?

---

[Thinspo] Thinspo albumm
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 17:05:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m44hl/thinspo_albumm/
---
https://imgur.com/a/3HcNm

---

[Rant/Rave] Just got my wisdom teeth out ...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 1 17:03:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m4469/just_got_my_wisdom_teeth_out/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] wow i feel like utter shit
/u/crapbeg
Created: Wed Jun 1 16:46:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m41h7/wow_i_feel_like_utter_shit/
---
it sounds so stupid but my mini binge was triggered by realising that i wasn't invited to a party that half my friends were invited to (even though they're ditching so we can all spend the night together which is nice)

i also just about managed to finish the essay i was writing (i was going to write two essays but that's not happening now, is it)

i skipped dinner too so i know i needed that binge but right now i just feel so utterly disgusted with myself that i could cry.

---

[Rant/Rave] Con weekend = Easy restricting for four days!
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 16:21:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m3xed/con_weekend_easy_restricting_for_four_days/
---
I'm going to a really big convention this weekend. Actually I'm volunteering at it. And aside from seeing all of the awesome nerd stuff and costumes and just everything that is so exciting, I'm ecstatic that I'm going to be able to restrict like crazy all weekend!
I'm going to be either working or running around for the next four days, so I won't really have time to eat and all in all I probably won't even think about food too much anyway. Plus it's expensive and most con food is gross. If I wanted something decent I would have to walk to an outside resturant (still expensive. But if I splurge at least I'll have had to walk a mile there and a mile back to eat). I do have some meal vouchers, but I'll probably use them on bottled water, and if I make it through the con without using them I'll just give them to someone or "lose" them before my fiance can suggest we go pig out with them.
All I'm bringing are bullion cubes, miso soup packets, bottled water, maybe some grapes, and maybe one or two other super low calorie things to eat in the mornings before I leave the hotel room and at night after I get back.
On top of that I'll be walking anywhere between six and 12 miles every day between my volunteer shift duties, which have me on my feet for at least 4 hours a day, and walking around the con, which is HUGE and I tend to traverse across multiple times a day.

I'm so excited. <3 Conventions are the best!

---

[Discussion] What size clothes do you wear and/or does anyone else care more about clothes sizes than weight?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Wed Jun 1 15:14:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m3lnd/what_size_clothes_do_you_wear_andor_does_anyone/
---
I don't have a scale or any way to weigh myself so I'm obsessed with clothing sizes. At my biggest I was a US22/24 and now I'm a US10/12. I'm so fucking close to getting into an 8 and it's killing me that I've been bingeing like crazy the last couple of weeks. I used to think a size 10 was my ultimate goal size, but seeing how fat I still am, now I'm shooting for a size 6. I honestly doubt I'll get there and even if I do it won't be enough, but it gives me something to focus on for now.

Anyway, I get a weird gratification from knowing what sizes people wear. I know about vanity sizing and how differently the same size can hang on different bodies, but it's all I've got to go on until I can get a scale. My waist is 31.5" (cannot wait to get under 30") and my hips are 41" (no hope of these bitches budging any time soon).

---

[Rant/Rave] i hate that my friend is thinner than me
/u/tartansheep [5'10.5 | 146lb|20.3 | -10lb| F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 13:56:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m36w8/i_hate_that_my_friend_is_thinner_than_me/
---
a friend of mine is anorexic (BMI around 14)

whenever I see pics of her on fb and stuff I literally can't cope with it because she's so different to me. And everyone noticed when she lost weight. But in year nine when I was 14 and my BMI dropped to 16 nobody noticed and nobody cared. I'm so fucking jealous of her for being a more successful anorexic than me! I'm so jealous.

Plus, she can purge. I've never been able to purge really. I'm not going to eat tomorrow, I've had ~400 calories today and burned ~200 or so, but it won't be enough. I want everyone to notice this time. I'm deliberately driving myself back into a relapse and I don't even care reallly.

Also she is prettier than me, richer, more talented, and cleverer. She's got a better home life and she's always been cool and popular. She's at a cooler uni with cooler friends, and my friends kicked me out of the house, and in short I just don't know what to do any more. I'm a fat fucking failure covered in self harm scars and lard.

I want to lose at least 12 or 15lb in two weeks - if I lose 15lb then I will be 133 by then, and then it's just another 5lb until I'm underweight again.

Nxt year, from September I'll be in a house with complete strangers, and it'll be dissertation year. I think I can properly starve myself then, but I have to be careful over the summer, in case my parents notice. They never noticed before. But this time I'm going to shock them.

Off to buy cigarettes.

---

[Rant/Rave] This is a new low, and not in a good way (teeth question too)
/u/missmadime [5'6" | CW: oh god | GW: 120| -24lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 13:32:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m32i1/this_is_a_new_low_and_not_in_a_good_way_teeth/
---
Threw up at work today for the first time. I had hit my 500 calories for the day already. Broccoli for breakfast, then nice lunch with the BF. I don't know the exact calories, so I rounded to 4-something. I had like 3 tortillas, and some rice among other things...it was probably even more than 400, god..

Anyways, decided to fast from noon today to noon tomorrow (night job), then a coworker insisted I eat with him. Saying no is sooo rude here so I ate some of his damned paneer butter masala and rice and

just

no

I couldn't live with myself.

So I tried to get it out. I didn't even get it all, but what I did get out made me feel like an awful human being. This is only the...fourth? time I've purged and I know it's just all downhill from here. (But I felt so relived to have SOME of it out, that at least THAT part wasn't putting its calories in me....)

How many times do you have to purge before your teeth suffer? I've been washing my mouth out with baking soda + water every time (except this time) and waiting at least an hour to brush, but I'm still worried. I'm making an appointment later this week for a wisdom tooth removal and I guess he'll check on my teeth then, but....I don't know. I'm new to this part. Any words of wisdom or anecdotes on anything?

---

[Other] Does anyone else worry when they feel full?
/u/Myuuji [169 | 51.6 | 18.07 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 13:22:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m30mh/does_anyone_else_worry_when_they_feel_full/
---
Like I know I ate 12 calories, but I feel full, so did I eat too much, am I sure that was only 12 calories? Maybe its not just how many calories/how healthy it is but also how much I eat. I just worry a lot when I feel full.

---

[Goal] Setting myself up for success:
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Wed Jun 1 13:20:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m3094/setting_myself_up_for_success/
---
I have a work-intense next few days, and I have prepared enough safe foods to keep me away from the bodega or the bar/gastropubs. Three packs of rinsed and pre-cooked shirataki noodles. Dehydrated strawberries. Roasted cabbage. Slow cooked green beans. Low cal stir fry. I'm really hoping I can get through the week without going out. I haven't been eating too terribly much, but my reliance on alcohol is troublesome. Hoping that Friday sees a lower number on the scale? 😬

---

[Tip] I was messing around with my blender and I've created something beautiful.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 1 13:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m2wv4/i_was_messing_around_with_my_blender_and_ive/
---
Okay /r/proed, I was just fucking around with some fruits

^that ^^sounded ^^^weird

And I came up with a cherry-watermelon slush. All fresh fruit. 60 calories.

Here it is:
- 1 cup diced seedless cold watermelon (46 kcal)
- 1/2 cups ice cubes (0 kcal)
- A squeeze of lime (2 kcal)
- 3 sweet cherries (12 kcal)

Throw that shit in a blender and voila - I was able to skip lunch on this. Watermelons are already super filling, and this was awesome and super refreshing.

(It's also really pretty :p)

---

[Thinspo] It's finally summer! Just learned how to put together an Imgur album, so I decided to make my first one dedicated to Summer thinspo :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 1 12:51:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m2usl/its_finally_summer_just_learned_how_to_put/
---
http://imgur.com/a/OGNt3

---

[Intro] At what point do I have an ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 1 12:18:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m2ogt/at_what_point_do_i_have_an_ed/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] What I don't have to think about
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 12:12:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m2n9a/what_i_dont_have_to_think_about/
---
It has been a while. Months, since I posted. In truth, I got scared and busy and tried to eat like a normal person for once.

Which means I mostly have been eating like a hot mess, purging often, drinking more. Weight does not go up, or down, and I havent cared.


In the past two days I've been browsing food porn and pro-ana shopping lists and not eating enough. It never fails to fascinate me how quickly I can go from 'fine' to 'must restrict' to 'fine' again.

But in the past two days, I've thought about food and calories and cuter clothes.

What I have not had to think about:

My ex and his inability to make the hard chioces for his kids. Him constantly making me out to be a bad mother.

Wondering if I am, in fact, a bad mother

About my own, shitty mother. or better yet, all 4 of my shitty parents who don't talk to me

My friends all being distant and brushing me off, even though I rarely ask for help. me asking when we can hang out and them telling me "Gosh, Im so busy, i wish people would stop pressuring me so much." Point taken. Friend count down to like, 3.

my boyfriend sleeping all the time because of his new anxiety medication. How peaceful it is to be alone while he snores next to me. How difficult it has been to talk to him without coming off the wrong way. How I love him more than anything, but I feel like Im losing him.

How I get jealous when anyone talks to him, which I've never been that way until recently when my self esteem took a nose dive. How much I hate women who get jealous over nothing.

How the rest of my boyfriends family has imploded since his sister died. I think his brother is using again, we havent seen our nephew since he was born 9 months ago because baby mamma is a cunt, how his mom keeps dragging his dad under the bus for a marraige she left by choice, how his dad lost not only his daughter, but his 2 sons as well.

how its up to me to make dr apts and run errands

how I have to donate plasma just to let myself buy new glasses

how if something goes wrong, its my fualt, because I shouldve prevented it. Terror attacks in Europe? Definitely should have stopped that, *somehow*.

Am I a bad mom? I tell them 'no' so often...

Am I a bad girlfriend? He said I havent been coming onto him as much (youre always sleeping!) or on the phone too much, I jump when i hear him come home....what mood is he in today?

How I am going to die one day, and so will my boyfriend, and my children, and how if I dont die first, I dont know how I'm supposed to do anything. What if my daughter dies and Im a rampaging mess of despair the way his mom is? Her crying over her daughters dead body huants me at night.


In other words......if I focus on food, and hunger, and goals, I don't have to focus on losing my mind.

---

[Other] [OTHER] Someone left a message for her past self about how to deal with her ED.
/u/arifjaffer
Created: Wed Jun 1 11:56:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m2k9y/other_someone_left_a_message_for_her_past_self/
---
DISCLAIMER: I work on this show. Isabel is someone that I've known for years, and in February, she was performing a poem at an open mic night, opening up about her eating disorder. I did not know she had an ED, never even suspected it.

She left a message for her past self, telling her that she does have an eating disorder even though she doesn't look the part. She tells her past self that self love, and the love of others would help her persevere (and knitting).

[You can listen to the message here](http://onenewmessage.com/podcast/104). To skip the banter, the message starts at 2:49.

---

[Rant/Rave] Restricting is going to be extremely easy this summer. Thank god.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Wed Jun 1 11:31:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m2fin/restricting_is_going_to_be_extremely_easy_this/
---
I just got this nanny job for a family with kids that go to the school my mom works at. I'm watching these kids for 10 hours every day.

I have a weird thing about eating in other people's houses. I can't do it. Even if I'm given permission, I just feel too weird.

So, as long as I don't go and binge after every shift, I'm hoping I'll finally start seeing results. Fingers crossed.

---

You push yourself back an entire week. [Guilty of this - this pic helped me]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 1 11:17:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m2ct2/you_push_yourself_back_an_entire_week_guilty_of/
---
http://www.myproana.com/uploads/gallery/album_13102/gallery_90033_13102_35799.jpg

---

[Help] Sanity check, please.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 1 11:02:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m2a4c/sanity_check_please/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] I'm really fucking sad.
/u/bljjlb [5'8" | 154 | 23.16 | -11.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 10:53:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m28el/im_really_fucking_sad/
---
My boyfriend and I are not on good terms right now. It's my fault. It's his fault. It's a mess. I've never been so devastated before.

I can't eat. I feel more sick than hungry. It's been three days now.
I'm typically not much of a faster.

I've never experienced something like this before, but to be honest, I'm so happy I don't have to worry about eating on top of everything that is going on.

I guess I just needed to tell someone.

Is anyone else like this?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! June 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 1 10:03:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m1z9t/daily_food_diary_june_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for June 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] hips, butt and thighs have gone up in inches.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 09:36:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m1ue1/hips_butt_and_thighs_have_gone_up_in_inches/
---
Specifically, my hips/butt have gone up by 1 inch, (33 to 34) and my thighs have gone up a half inch (18 to 18.5). Waist, bust, arms, and neck have stayed them same.

So here's my conundrum; I've been consistently working out for a while now, however in the past month or so I've been paying extra attention to my lower body. When I reached my low adult weight of 111 lbs, that's when I had taken my measurements of 33 in. hips/butt and 18 in. thighs.

Since then I've binged (average 2000-2500 cals) several times, but I've also been doing dedicated leg days with lunges, squats, deadlifts etc.

So rational me says I've gained muscle? But ED me says I'm a big fat fatty fat fat and the inches are a result of my bingeing.

I'm...not sure what to think.

On one hand I know muscle building is very hard for women, especially if you aren't tailoring your diet and work outs. But on the other hand, mathematically a handful of days where I eat 2000-2500 (and under eat every other day) does not translate to fatty deposits on my butt, hips, and thighs. All things considered, I'm simply not eating enough to gain a pound of fat, but I also don't think I'm eating enough to gain noticeable muscle mass.

arg! wat do!?!

What would you guys assume; muscle or fat?

---

[Goal] lost 3lb in 4 days. still not satisfied
/u/tartansheep [5'10.5 | 146lb|20.3 | -10lb| F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 09:11:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m1pms/lost_3lb_in_4_days_still_not_satisfied/
---
I know it's all water weight and I hate it and I hate being this fat ! I can't do this any more. Time to really step up the game - already eaten 300 calories like a fat fuck up but I'm not going to eat anything else for as long as I can.

I hope I can lose at least 12lb by June 14th. Two weeks to lose 12lb. I think I can do it

---

[Goal] I'd like to fast today.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 08:59:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m1nlw/id_like_to_fast_today/
---
Does anyone ever wake up and have days like that? Yesterday wasn't horrible. I didn't binge. I probably ate up to my TDEE but I did a lot of physical activity so I don't feel disappointed. But I just woke up craving a fast. I got into a huge fight with my BF last night and I'm feeling stressed about my new job that I haven't started yet. I just need one thing to go right. Control, uninhibited and up to me. I wanna get ahead in calories (ahead meaning under weekly TDEE). I just don't know how long I'll last. I have work today, I'm riding my bike in 90 degree weather there. I'm guzzling water in preparation (sporadically, not at all once, don't worry I have this water thing down to a science). I know this fast is going to be a challenge but.....idc today. If I eat, I'm not gonna freak out and consider it a failure meaning I probably won't binge. I just wanna see how long I can go without eating, simply.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day <3 Thanks for listening.

---

[Other] I've been trying to keep up with my fitbit 250 steps atleast every hour
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 08:49:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m1lnr/ive_been_trying_to_keep_up_with_my_fitbit_250/
---
And my dad is making me go outside now because the tile in the kitchen is all messed up from pacing. Shit lmao

---

[Rant/Rave] I had a doctor's appointment yesterday..
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 112 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 08:10:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m1ew8/i_had_a_doctors_appointment_yesterday/
---
And it turns out that I am an INCH shorter than I thought I was. I asked the nurse to measure twice and then I had my boyfriend measure me three more times once I got home.

Yup. I am 5'3" instead of 5'4", which reaaaaally shouldn't be a big deal, but I am freaking out about my BMR/TDEE and BMI. And I somehow *feel fatter* knowing that my BMI is higher than I thought. And on top of that, my weight hasn't changed in like a week. I guess that's better than gaining, but still. Plateaus suck.

Ugh. Pointless rant. Flair changed. Wah.

---

[Tip] PSA: Tare/Zero your scales!
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Wed Jun 1 06:56:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m13fl/psa_tarezero_your_scales/
---
You probably all do this already tbh but it only occurred to me this morning!

I've been using my electronic scales regularly (like twice a day regularly) for 6+ months and never thought to check that they still read correctly.

I weighed a 2kg weight on them and it said 1.9 kilos :(

So I guess I actually am fatter than I thought. Or as fat as a look. Whatever.

I have now re-zeroed them - they weigh all my weights correctly and I am a fat pig.

Sad times.

---

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday June 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jun 1 06:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m0wc7/way_to_go_wednesday_june_01_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for June 01, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Tip] I always forget about fruit tea
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jun 1 05:45:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m0u7k/i_always_forget_about_fruit_tea/
---
I just picked up a pack of tea from Woolworths for $2, it's so soothing and sweet. It's apple and ginger (fellow Aussies, Woolies has so many teas it's hard to choose). I'm listening to classical music and I feel kind of classy.

And I realised that if I focus myself on "classy" things, I can focus more on being perfect, lol. Does that make sense? If I do pure things then I will form pure habits. It makes me think of my aunt who only keeps tea and fruit in the house. Drinking diet coke makes me feel like trash tbh.

This tea I'm having with lemon is so perfect and warm, how did I forgot about it? My tea drinking habit kind of wanes and waxes.. and there's something so much nicer about it than just plain ole water.

Sorry for the rant, but I totally recommend picking up some fruit tea like ginger, strawberry, blueberry, fennel, etc. It's so soothing :)

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm on my second day of fasting aaaandd I got my period.
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Wed Jun 1 03:29:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m0er1/im_on_my_second_day_of_fasting_aaaandd_i_got_my/
---
I don't know if I'm happy that I FINALLY got my period and I can keep a little bit of sanity knowing that I can blame the weight fluctuations and cravings and excessive eating on that. But I'm happy to say the cravings are minimal! I don't feel like eating at all.

I'm on hour 41. 127 hours left. I feel like I can do this. And I really hope I can.

I had a binge cycle for like 2 WEEKS and it can kiss my fucking ass because I am done with the stress. And I don't want to start purging again to "fix" my mistakes.

If any of you are fasting right now as well/planning to, I wish you luck! And I know you can totally do it. :)

Edit: had to break my fast on hour 45 because my brother forced me to go out and eat. I probably consumed around 1,500 to 2,000 cals. Will try again tomorrow!

---

[Rant/Rave] Well this was the disappointment of the month
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Jun 1 02:45:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4m0agm/well_this_was_the_disappointment_of_the_month/
---
I fasted for over 24h (first time ever doing so) and... And.. I saw my hipbones poking through and could count some ribs again. Stepped on the scale and.. Nothing? NOTHING

Fuck

---

[Tip] Seaweed chips for under 10 calories!
/u/tryingtocutback
Created: Tue May 31 22:56:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lzl6c/seaweed_chips_for_under_10_calories/
---
I can't stand to throw away stale nori paper (sushi wraps). All you do is give them a quick spritz with oil, lightly salt, and bake a 350 just long enough for them to wrinkle a bit. Just let them crisp up, no need to really bake it. Break your sheets into bite sized pieces. It turns out this recipe works even better with sheets that have lost their crunch.

Here's the best part :)
Nori is 4 calories for ten sheets, I round up to ten on account of second or two of oil. My chip craving was filled after about 5 sheets.

---

[Goal] Finally
/u/qwertylooping [5' 3" | LW 107 | CW: dory speaks my language]
Created: Tue May 31 22:16:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lzg9j/finally/
---
So I finally broke the insane binge cycle, though it took much longer than I expected. I'm back to restricting now (800 or less), plus the good old exercise routine to burn off the 7 lbs of real weight I put on in one month of near-daily bingeing and purging. Haven't binged in over a week and while I still occasionally purge, at least it's not damage-control that forces my hand (down my throat? Lol).

Upon reflection, it was caused by looking at weight loss from too negative a perspective. Because I COULDN'T eat this or COULDN'T eat that, if I broke the rule, I'd just catastrophize the small mistake and go way overboard, inhaling thousands of calories more just because I ate 100kcal above maintenance (ty for that train of rationality, EDdy!) I'd also stopped exercising around the same time the cycle started, and I think the lack of endorphins really impacted me.

So what helped me get over it? I'm a college student and hadn't been home in over 2 months, so I visited for a weekend. The complete change in environment, I think, was a great and necessary mental refresh. Food was out of my mind, FINALLY. Being surrounded by family made it near impossible to b/p as much as I was becoming used to too. I also donated blood, and they reported my resting heart rate and blood pressure being the same as that of an athlete - why was I wasting that on cookies and ice cream???!!???? Finally, I ran out of binge food money LOL...it really took hitting that point to finally stop.

But I'm glad to say that I'm back to the old me!! A couple eyebags, wrinkles, and jiggles extra, but those WILL be gone within the month. I value myself too much to let this beat me :).

I'd like to thank everyone for helping me & giving so much encouragement - you are all incredibly sweet and supportive, and I don't know if I would've gotten out of it without you guys !!!!

---

[Rant/Rave] When you haven't eaten in hours
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Tue May 31 22:06:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lzeyo/when_you_havent_eaten_in_hours/
---
Tonight, I tried to purge for the first time.

I've only thrown up once from over eating before. And I only just learned how to make myself throw up with two fingers down my throat last week when I needed to throw up because I was too hung over.

I've thought about it before. When I had that sick, overly full feeling. When I ate maybe 200 calories more than I wanted to on a 600 calorie day.

I've had that thought.

And here I am. I haven't been on here in ages. I've been too ashamed. I've been eating. I've been eating without thinking. And before you say "good for you. Eating without anxiety over the food. Eating without counting every calorie and knowing exactly how bad you've been", its not that great. I eat. I eat and think about every lb I'm gaining. I but the act of eating doesn't cause me stress. The feeling full doesn't create stress. But every morning, I know I wake up fat and I hate myself.

Tonight, I tried to purge. I ate a small bowl of onion dip with potato chips. That was hours ago. I didn't count the calories. I don't know how much everything weighed. I don't even remember if I ate anything else today. I stopped before I was full.


Hours went by. I felt a little accomplished. I'd finished a paper draft. Its probably too late to do any good. But I did it. I called my mom. And the floor fell out from under me.

And there I am. Crying, but not hard enough. Trapped between feeling that everything might turn out alright, that it wasn't all my fault, and that the world is falling apart and there's nothing I can do.

Trapped. Feeling like I want to take the pen I am writing in my journal with, and stab it into my leg. Stab and just keep stabbing. I put down the pen. I want to go to the kitchen and grab a knife. And stab. That would be bad. I don't.

I want to cut, but I don't have the energy to deal with the aftercare. Not of a place no one would see. Those bleed more. Those places don't close nicely and stay closed.

And then I just want to throw up.

I know I haven't eaten in hours. That onion dip is long gone. But I want it out. I want it all out. So I go to the bathroom. And I try.

I can still feel the acid a bit at the back of my throat. It wasn't much. I can feel where my nails scratched a bit, and I can feel the slight ache of my upper abdominal muscles from trying to purge when there was nothing there.

And all it makes me want to do is try again. Now that I know I can....

---

[Discussion] When do you think your eating disorder began?
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Tue May 31 21:48:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lzcdb/when_do_you_think_your_eating_disorder_began/
---
Did someone say something to you to jump-start it? Did something happen to you that made it unfold? What was it that lured the monster out?

---

[Rant/Rave] This is a safe sub for me. I'm a drunk and I'm back and writing in between intervals of stripping and checking angles and putting all my clothes back on (invisible boa intact) and sucking down whiskeys.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 31 21:04:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lz5vp/this_is_a_safe_sub_for_me_im_a_drunk_and_im_back/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else restrict/fast to drink?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 31 20:18:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lyyub/does_anyone_else_restrictfast_to_drink/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] I have a hard time exercising because I don't eat enough. Is this normal?
/u/bigwhiskeyandthegroo
Created: Tue May 31 19:35:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lys0b/i_have_a_hard_time_exercising_because_i_dont_eat/
---
I eat the same meal every night for dinner: a salad with extra hot peppers/hot sauce, a bag of chips or popcorn and a cup of tea. I don't eat breakfast or lunch, just black coffee all day. I go for walks in the morning before work, but whenever I try to run or jog I get really dizzy and lightheaded and just go back to walking. Is this something that I just need to push through?

---

[Intro] I'm back. (I think)
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 111 | 19.66 | +10pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Tue May 31 19:21:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lypxb/im_back_i_think/
---
I'm back after about two months recovering. I gained 11 pounds /:

My ultimate goal weight is 70. I'm currently 111pounds I was 95.
I have no hope and starving and thinspo gave me something to do all day.

---

[Other] Anyone who has babies and toddlers
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 17:57:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lycrq/anyone_who_has_babies_and_toddlers/
---
Don't yall wish you ate as little as they did and didn't care? They haven't really developed a "pleasure center" for food yet so they can look at some delicious fries or nuggets or cupcakes and take like 2 bites. I'm so jealous of my kid haha. I would've destroyed your cupcake + 2 cookies if I let myself!

---

[Rant/Rave] Broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years because he tried to get in the way of my restricting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 31 17:52:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lybwu/broke_up_with_my_boyfriend_of_5_years_because_he/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] So I'm taking nutrition 101 online, one of the assignments includes keeping a food log
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 31 17:45:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lyarb/so_im_taking_nutrition_101_online_one_of_the/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] When your aren't even that underweight, but this is what bruises look like for days
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 17:29:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ly7x6/when_your_arent_even_that_underweight_but_this_is/
---
https://imgur.com/a/uvMLO I guess this isnt even a goal? Be anemic again, be a drunk anemic. Also fear constipation so DO NOT TAKE SUPPLEMENTS. Also, it shows my progress in a really fucked up way I suppose. I refuse to be any higher than 110. And if yall can do it and be taller, then I sure as hell can too. Bye bingesaurous. Hello looking like I brawl 24/7. Even if I kinda do. I love you guys. Haven't ranted in a while. Thank you.

---

[Discussion] Has anyone else ever tried out a new "diet food" and it turned out to be really disgusting?
/u/wearingmyfatpants [5'0" |119|23.2|41lbs|F]
Created: Tue May 31 16:27:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxxia/has_anyone_else_ever_tried_out_a_new_diet_food/
---
It's unforgivably hot where I live right now (I'm also a heat wimp.)

So even though I'm not much of an ice cream kinda girl I thought I'd buy myself some low cal and cool off a bit.

Got some greek yogurt ice cream, Blueberry flavor, and was excited to try it.

Hooolllllyyyyy shit....this stuff tastes like someone had horrible heartburn, ate a bunch of Blueberry yogurt, and then vomited it all into a carton and froze the lot of it.

I hate it. I hate it so much. I can't eat this shit, no one in my house likes it, I'm throwing it away.

Has anyone else ever bought the low calorie/diet stuff and been super disappointed? What was it?

---

[Discussion] People have reached their GW or UGW, have you started eating at maintenance once you reached that certain weight? What happened when you did?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Tue May 31 16:01:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxt2r/people_have_reached_their_gw_or_ugw_have_you/
---
I'm just curious since I hear so many people say they gain at maintenance.


Edit: People who have* sorry for mistake

---

[Discussion] What part of your body do you love the most?
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 15:53:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxrm3/what_part_of_your_body_do_you_love_the_most/
---
For me it's my collarbones, I can't stand to wear high neck shirts or sweaters anymore. I feel fat and ugly if they're not on display. It's honestly the only part of me I like.

---

[Help] How to avoid bingeing when I smoke weed?
/u/consensualturtlesex [5'2 | 126lbs | 22.58 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 15:19:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxlqc/how_to_avoid_bingeing_when_i_smoke_weed/
---
Does anyone here smoke weed even though they have an ED? I'm (finally) finished school tomorrow, and I plan to smoke alot over summer buuuuuuut.. munchies. Do any of you have any tips to avoid eating a ton when I smoke?

---

[Rant/Rave] I miss my disordered eating
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Tue May 31 14:59:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxi0s/i_miss_my_disordered_eating/
---
I lost 82lbs, went from obese, to close to underweight... Now im eating 3000 kcals a day, because i have to in order to gain the muscle 8 want and be stronger than all my friends i'm jealous, i know i need the food in order to look good and achieve what i want.... That empty feeling was always so comforting, i miss it. Soon, soon i'll go back...

---

[Other] Silly me! I forgot to publicly announce the newest member of our mod team~ Also, congrats on reaching 5,000 members!
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue May 31 14:54:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxh0f/silly_me_i_forgot_to_publicly_announce_the_newest/
---
As you may or may not recognize, our community has really grown in the past year or so and **we have just recently surpassed our 5,000th subscriber!**

Please accept my gratitude for everyone who contributes in making /r/proED a considerate and supportive space. The mod team here is really fortunate that we never find ourselves over-tasked in managing the spam/shit/hate-posts. That says a lot about the community itself and all of your wonderful contributions to the sub.

It's really gratifying to bring on a new mod not because we necessarily need additional help in moderating the sub, but because we see her as a very positive presence here. So, please join me in welcoming the lovely /u/Glitter_Cunt to the /r/proED mod team.

Thanks again to *all* of our exemplar members. You guys rock <3

---

[Other] Sending everyone positive vibes going into June (:
/u/emptymamii [5'5" | 107 | 17.9 | GW 93 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 14:49:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxg7k/sending_everyone_positive_vibes_going_into_june/
---
For everyone who had a shitty May diet-wise like I did (heavy restricting and exercising then binging ugggguh), tomorrow is a new month andddd we're gonna kick ass in June.

I binged on literally so much today but for once in my life I'm semi-okay with it? But only cause starting today at midnight no more binging unless it's on apple slices or one Quest bar for me and I'm gonna force myself to follow my regular ~300cal diet + 1.5 hour exercise routine. Goal is to weigh 100lbs by the end of June and I have some crazyyy motivation for some reason so this month is gonna be different. Haha, sorry just writing this partly for accountability buuuut anyways no matter how shitty your May was just a reminder that a new month/fresh start is tomorrow!

---

[Goal] Second 10 lb goal reached
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 31 14:41:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxen0/second_10_lb_goal_reached/
---
Excited to see this drop still happen after a holiday weekend binge! Helps to be the one swimming against the current in a semi-flooded river I guess. A little upset at eating a banana instead of fasting but I could barely bike and almost was in a bike accident, so I'll just bike some more. Starting on that third 10 lbs goal.

---

[Tip] Made a comparison table for protein powders if you're interested!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 31 14:25:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxbqb/made_a_comparison_table_for_protein_powders_if/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Binged for a whole week. Shit. Advice, words, anything please? Have you been through the same?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 | 27/F | SW: >230lbs - CW: 95lbs - GW: 90lbs OR 95lbs+muscle]
Created: Tue May 31 14:23:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lxbao/binged_for_a_whole_week_shit_advice_words/
---
Welp.

I posted a week or so ago about how I was freaking out because I had been invited out to dinner twice, and had a fair to attend where i knew my willpower would suck (fair food is my weekness). All within the same 7 days period.

I came up with a plan to eat what I want when eating out and at the fair, and eat at maintenance the other days 'going easy on myself'. I couldn't face fasting on the other days for some reason, knowing that I'd be blowing any real deficit when going out. So I decided to accept weight gain and take a 'diet break'.

All well and good right? I've been restricting heavily for fuck knows how long (losing over 110lbs in the process), maybe a break would do me good, right? I was feeling tired and exhausted anyway.. and I was going to the gym weight training 3x a week and WANTED to build muscle. So all good, right? I was totally due a break from it all, and a bunch of food would give my muscle building a boost anyway!

Wrong. Fucking, wrong.

I ate what I wanted on the days I ate out and at the fair, which added up to an incredible amount of calories as it was. And the other days? Lol at me thinking I could stick to maintenance once 'allowing' myself to eat. My maintenance is around 1300, yet I easily ate 2000 calories on days I wasn't eating out. All the while telling myself 'DIET BREAK LOL! BUILDING MUSCLE LOL!'.

Now the week is over and the 'allowed to eat' mindset has gone away.. I suppose I'm lucky that the binge isn't carrying on now I know it's 'over'.. and I am fucking APPALLED at myself.

FUCKING APPALLED.

Over 6-7 days, I easily ate a surplus of 12,000 calories.. I'm sure. I just fucking *ate*. Only thing I can say for myself is that most of those calories on the 'not going out/not fair' days were made of pretty healthy foods, with only a handful of junk - so perhaps not a legit binge on those days, as I didn't uncontrollably eat and only ate when hungry, but I did eat like a loon. Because I am always fucking overly hungry, no matter what.

So I've probably gained near on 4lbs of pure fat, more in water weight of course. I don't know, I'm not gonna weigh myself. I did just measure my waist though.. 29 fucking inches. 29 FUCKING INCHES, up from 25. It only took me 6-7 days to add 4 whole goddamn inches to my waist line..?!?! What kind of disgusting monster am I?!

My waist goal is 23 inches right now.. 25 I was comfortable with. Now it's 29 inches.

jesus holy fuck what did I do to myself. I don't want to binge anymore, but I've failed at fasting today already by eating a whole plate of veg.. and planning to eat more tonight. And cottage cheese. But I really need to be fasting. I have no idea how else I'm gonna make up the proper deficit in any reasonable amount of time. But for some reason, I'm not in the fasting mindset.. plus I know I'm gonna be binging on Sunday AGAIN as per usual because I can never stop myself on Sundays no matter how hard I try - usually it's okay, it's a controlled binge, and usually doesn't wipe out a weeks deficit. But shit, I have a lot of making up to do now, and I feel awful.

Holy motherfucking BALLS, guys. Anything you can say to me right now? Experiences? Advice?

---

[Intro] [Intro] After 4 years, back at it I guess
/u/convincemeimhere [5'2"| 110 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 14:12:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lx99e/intro_after_4_years_back_at_it_i_guess/
---
I've been lurking here for a couple weeks now and have finally decided to make my first post. I've enjoyed this community a lot and have found all of you to be wonderful and supportive.

So a quick background on me - I started restricting when I was in my teens and continued for most of my twenties. About 4 years ago I got out of a really bad longterm relationship and started dating my best friend who's an amazing and supportive person. I also changed careers at the time and started working in the craft beer and food industry. As a result I started drinking way more and being around fantastic food all the time. Combined with being super happy in my relationship and life in general I honestly haven't really thought much about restricting for these past four years.

But about 2 years ago I got to my all time heaviest weight and certainly wasn't happy. I started drinking less and being more conscious of my diet and dropped 10 lbs over the last couple years.

Then, at the beginning of this year I was hospitalized (non ed related) and due to surgery I underwent a dramatic weight loss. Just within a week I dropped down to 95 lbs. To be completely honest, I was ecstatic. I looked incredible and felt on top of the world. Not only had I made it out of a near-death experience but I'd never looked better.

Sadly, mostly because of the care of family and friends, I've gained all of the weight back. I'm sick of it and how I look and miss the way I felt when I weighed less just a few months ago.

I started restricting again about a week ago after I got back from vacation and was back to my clothes being tight again. I've completely cut out alcohol except for tastings (which I have to do for work). I'm currently trying to stay under 1000 kcal per day, focusing mostly on high-protein, plant-based foods.

The only thing I'm having hesitations about is my SO. He works in the same industry and we live together and we are with each other constantly. He's always making food for me and we are used to drinking a lot together. He's totally supportive of me cutting back on alcohol and so far I've passed off the restricting on the fact that my weight gain causes pain around where I'm still healing from surgery.

Sorry for the long post. I'm exited to be working towards a goal to make myself happier and have found this subreddit to be extremely helpful. Thanks guys :)

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[Help] [Help] Need help not bingeing when I smoke weed?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 31 13:51:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lx5cy/help_need_help_not_bingeing_when_i_smoke_weed/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Does anyone else suffer from anxiety?
/u/tinybites [5'6" | 166 | 26.79 | -19 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 11:15:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lwbo6/does_anyone_else_suffer_from_anxiety/
---
Not ED related but I don't really have anyone else to talk to.

I always feel like people hate me, or that I'm bothering them. I never had many friends through high school. I had my girl friend and guy friend but that was pretty much it. When she got a boyfriend I never heard from her much and I feel like it's because I'm just a constant bother and annoyance.

I'm not a bad person, I don't know why people don't want to be around me. I think I'm pretty nice just a little quiet sometimes. If I didn't have a boyfriend I don't think I would have anyone in my life at all. It kinda sucks knowing if I didn't have him, no one would notice if I was around or not.

Please tell me I'm not alone, what can I do to help?

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[Tip] 50 Snacks under 50 Kcal :) (Stolen from womenshealth)
/u/smollish [5'5" | 144 | 24 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 10:32:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lw3mo/50_snacks_under_50_kcal_stolen_from_womenshealth/
---
Satisfy your sweet tooth

1. 1⁄2 medium apple, baked, topped with 1 Tbsp lowfat yogurt sprinkled with cinnamon (45 calories)

2. 1⁄2 small banana, frozen (45 calories)

3. 4 oz unsweetened applesauce sprinkled with cinnamon (49 calories)

4. 1 miniature box of raisins (45 calories)

5. 2 sugar-free ice pops (30 calories)

6. 1 sugar-free fudge ice pop (35 calories)

7. 12 cherries (48 calories)

8. 1 individual serving sugar-free gelatin with 3 Tbsp light whipped topping (40 calories)

9. 1⁄2 cup strawberries with 21⁄2 Tbsp nonfat yogurt (47 calories)

10. 14 seedless red grapes, frozen (48 calories)

Indulge a salt craving

11. 11⁄2 cups salted air-popped popcorn (46 calories)

12. 1⁄4 cup shelled edamame with sea salt (37 calories)

13. 8 oz miso soup (36 calories)

14. 1 pretzel rod (37 calories)

15. 1⁄4 small bag of Glenny's lightly salted soy crisps (35 calories)

16. 1 medium sliced cucumber mixed with 1⁄4 cup sliced onion, 1⁄2 cup chopped celery, 4 Tbsp vinegar and salt to taste (45 calories)

17. 6 oz eight-vegetable juice (39 calories)

18. 1 kosher dill pickle (10 calories)

Crunch and munch

19. 1⁄2 cup jicama with 4 oz salsa (49.5 calories)

20. 11⁄2 cups sugar snap peas (40 calories)

21. Small celery stalk smeared with 1⁄2 Tbsp natural peanut butter (49 calories)

22. 1⁄2 small apple with 1 tsp soy butter (46 calories)

23. 1 brown rice cake with 1 Tbsp sugar-free jam (44 calories)

Smooth and creamy

24. 1 Laughing Cow Light Garlic & Herb wedge spread on cucumber slices (35 calories)

25. 1 tsp almond butter (34 calories)

26. 1⁄2 cup fat-free Greek yogurt with 1 tsp sugar-free strawberry jam (43 calories)

27. 1 oz avocado (about 1⁄8 of an avocado) squirted with lime (45 calories)

28. 8 grape tomatoes dipped in 1 Tbsp light cream cheese (46 calories)

Cheesy whizzes

29. 6 pieces of endive filled with 1⁄2 oz reduced-fat feta cheese (49 calories)

30. 1 slice fat-free American cheese (30 calories)

31. 1 large tomato, sliced, topped with 1 Tbsp Parmesan, broiled (44 calories)

32. 1 oz fat-free cottage cheese on 1 slice caraway Finn Crisp Crispbread (38 calories)

33. 1 oz fat-free mozzarella dipped in 1 tsp marinara sauce (46 calories)

Power up on protein

34. Turkey rollups: 2 slices white meat turkey rolled in 2 lettuce leaves (46 calories)

35. 1 oz smoked salmon (about 1 slice) on 2 Wheat Thins crackers (Multi-Grain) (48 calories)

36. 1 tofu dog with 1 Tbsp sauerkraut (48 calories)

37. 1⁄2 cup plain fat-free yogurt sprinkled with 1 tsp sunflower seeds (49.6 calories)

38. 1.3 oz water-packed tuna with 1 tsp Dijon mustard (48 calories)

39. 2 large hard-cooked egg whites with 1 cup sliced cucumber (48 calories)

40. 1 slice Wasa Fibre Crispbread with 2 tsp hummus (45 calories)

41. 1 medium water-packed sardine with slice of red onion (35 calories)

Solid standbys

42. 1⁄2 cup melon with 2 Tbsp 1% cottage cheese (47 calories)

43. 1⁄2 small grapefruit (32 calories)

44. 1⁄3 cup blueberries with 1 Tbsp light sour cream (47 calories)

45. 1⁄2 cup carrots with 1 Tbsp light ranch dressing (45 calories)

Thirst quenchers

46. 1⁄2 cup nonfat milk with 1 Tbsp Walden Farms calorie-free chocolate syrup (40 calories)

47. 1 packet of sugar-free hot chocolate made with 1⁄4 cup skim milk and 3⁄4 cup hot water (47 calories)

48. 3⁄4 cup almond milk (45 calories)

49. 3⁄4 cup seltzer with 1⁄4 cup cranberry juice and a lime wedge (33 calories)

50. Homemade iced green tea (with artificial sweetener if desired) (0 calories)

---

[Help] EC stack makes me tired?
/u/Randomusername2233 [5'6" | 158.6 | 25.7 | 11.4 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 10:11:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lvzrf/ec_stack_makes_me_tired/
---
Hello lovelies! First off, obligatory first post disclosure, using a throw away account. I've been fasting/restricting for about six months now, mostly because I've got some ridiculous food sensitivities and it helps with my IBS, but then I started losing weight and I love how in control I feel when I fast and restrict properly. I've been lurking picking up tips in this sub and am super impressed with how supportive and kind everybody is!

Anyhow, my issue is that I've recently started using an EC stack, but if I take the full dose it makes me SO SLEEPY. I can feel my heart rate go up and my appetite is definitely suppressed but I get very lethargic and lose all motivation to do anything even slightly physical. Has anyone else experienced this? What does it mean?

Edit/Update: In case any one was wondering, I haven't figured out why it makes me tired, but I have found that 1xPrimatine + 200mg caffeine 3 times a day works great for me! In case anyone was wondering :)

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[Help] Sightly OT: Anyone get depression from benzos?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Tue May 31 10:08:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lvz78/sightly_ot_anyone_get_depression_from_benzos/
---
I have found that my benzos help me stop binging. I normally take them very rarely...0-3x per week. This is because more than 1 or 2 in a week makes me depressed (possibly because the only energy I possess is nervous energy). But now that I ate like a fucking sickening pig all of the 3 day weekend, I didn't take them sat, took 2 sun, and 3 Monday. Not only does my stomach feel like I ate shards of glass, not only is my body swollen with bloat, but I feel so fucking emotionally empty. WHY does a normal does of Ativan or Xanax make me so depressed? There is literally nothing else in the world that helps with my food anxiety like benzos (except maybe oxy's, but I'm not exactly stupid enough to seek them out for that purpose)

I even started smoking again. I'm a wreck. I weigh one lb less than I did May 1. I'm so disgusted. I literally weigh 7 lbs more today than I did last week. I want to smoke every cigarette ever made and never eat again, just die of hypoxia like the idiot I am.

I'm already freaking out because I can feel the fat hanging off my face. If I take a benzo, who knows if I'll even have the will to get out of bed in the morning!! Nothing is ever reliable. Fuck this.

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[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else feel like they're losing their mind?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | Fat | Super Fat | F]
Created: Tue May 31 10:07:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lvyyv/does_anyone_else_feel_like_theyre_losing_their/
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I swear that I'm losing it.

One day a dress will be my saviour, it's my favourite piece of clothing in the world and I need a thousand more exactly like it because its the only thing I look half decent in.

But then the next day I'll be the ugliest fattest pig in that same dress. My arms are like giant flabby wings, my fat belly sticks out too far, and my legs are like tree trunks stumping around everywhere.

Sometimes it changes in minutes.

I feel like the hardest work out I get is me getting dressed in the morning.

I'm running around my room, furious at myself for eating that piece of toast cause everything is hideous and I look huge in it, I'm saying things to myself that I wouldn't say to my worst enemy, and I'm sweating so profusely that I look like I've been working out.

I'm hot, and sweaty, my hearts pounding away, I'm so angry and full of hate for myself and things change by the minute.

I look skinny.

I look fat.

I look skinny.

I look fat.

I'll try on the same outfit 3 times and feel three different ways.

I swear I'm losing my mind.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 31 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lvy00/daily_food_diary_may_31_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 31, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Question: any food/supplement that increases metabolic rate?
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Tue May 31 09:55:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lvwua/question_any_foodsupplement_that_increases/
---
I have been reading about goji and green tea having metabolism boosting effects and I'm wondering if that's really true.. does anyone here know of any foods or supplements that can boost metabolic rate? I've also heard spicy foods can do this, as well as cold water/ice. Just wondered what you all thought.

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[Discussion] Does your ED make you a bitch?
/u/iPood_ [5'0" | 101 | 19.7 | -50 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 09:50:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lvvvs/does_your_ed_make_you_a_bitch/
---
I feel like my issues with food/appearance make me kind of bitchy sometimes. For example, there is nothing more disgusting to me than a fat woman, I just think it's an absolute disgrace. Whenever I'm out and see one, I'll comment on them to whoever I'm with. My sister/friends all think it's funny but tbh I am really brutal sometimes. Any other time I would never say anything bad about someone but when it comes to obesity it's like I have no filter and can't control myself. Do you find your ED makes you have a harsher view of others or is it mostly just internal?

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[Other] This weekend I was normal and I paid the price, now its time to get back on the crazy train.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 31 09:17:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lvpn6/this_weekend_i_was_normal_and_i_paid_the_price/
---
So I ate a lot this weekend, and I have no idea what I weigh. But its ok, because I was with friends, doing social stuff, being a normal human being.

I drank beer, twice! Had a burger, AND a piece of sausage. And Chinese food! And tacos! And TWO servings of pasta salad!

But today, today is *mine,* as is the rest of the week. Fasting/restriction during the work day, pick at the dinners my husband makes, avoid grocery shopping until Saturday so we have no snacks in the house.

I have a small sodium bloat belly from all that BBQ food/Chinese food. I purposefully wore a bodycon dress today so I could remind myself of the consequences of eating like a normal human being.

I'm ramping up my work outs this week, and I won't weigh myself until I feel like I've sufficiently purged this excess (food, weight, water) from me. However this morning I did something to my left quad while I was in the middle of a lunge. It hurts now? And not just regular soreness. I don't know wtf I did, but I need to figure out a work around because I'm not letting this quad injury fuck my shit up.

I've got 2 weeks and 4 days until my next social engagement (babyman's first birthday). I don't know what my wight will be then, I just know I need to restrict until I feel clean.

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[Tip] Indoor bike trainer!
/u/Richgirlhair [5'5" | 127 | 21 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 07:16:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lv5h5/indoor_bike_trainer/
---
I highly recommend everyone get an indoor bike trainer: it's a stand you put your bike on so you can bike inside. My roommate and I share one and it was like 80$ on Amazon. We wanted to get an elliptical, but a nice one is like $500 and huge. The stand doesn't take up much more room than the bike itself.
No more having to bike outside when I want to exercise at night, no more having to deal with sunburn during the day, no having to go to the gym (I may go to planet fitness but I still feel like im being judged #socialanxiety) plus it's really easy to take your bike off to use outside when you do need to venture out into the real world.

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[Tip] PSA, spaghetti squash is only 40 calories a cup!
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 31 06:46:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lv160/psa_spaghetti_squash_is_only_40_calories_a_cup/
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and if you're ever baked it, you'll know a cup goes a long way! this is excellent news. And for you lovelies who haven't had spaghetti squash yet, it is something you should definitely try! I just came across this recipe for broccoli spaghetti squash lasagna, very low calorie dinner 😈

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[Goal] 20 hours into my fast!
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Tue May 31 06:39:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lv06u/20_hours_into_my_fast/
---
148 hours left.

Cravings are strong but I'm sipping on coke zero, hoping it'll pass. Wish me luck!

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[Discussion] Anybody else really cold when they don't eat?
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 06:38:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lv02v/anybody_else_really_cold_when_they_dont_eat/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lv02v/anybody_else_really_cold_when_they_dont_eat/

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[Discussion] Anybody else really cold when they don't eat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 31 06:36:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4luzqz/anybody_else_really_cold_when_they_dont_eat/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] That's it I can't pretend anymore
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | 149.9 | 21.74 | F]
Created: Tue May 31 06:04:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4luvn5/thats_it_i_cant_pretend_anymore/
---
Hi all. *Obligatory first time posting, long time lurker statement* I can't post on my usual account because my boyfriend and cousin know that one so I made this one today after my breaking point this morning.

So this past October my Aunt was diagnosed with cancer and my entire diet went to shit. I pretended it was ok because I was dealing with things and I already knew that I ate emotionally so why try to change it while also dealing with what was happening. Well, 29 days ago she died, and I still haven't changed. Last week I weighed myself and could not believe that my scale was showing me 158, I cried. Before all of this I used to hover around 143-145. So I tried to do better last week, sticking with 1400 calories a day (I should have started with 1200) and then the fights with my boyfriend happened. This weekend was crap. I ate pizza twice Friday night, Chinese food and chips and hummus and ice cream on Saturday, Egg pastries with hollandaise sauce and french toast casserole and potatoes and cherries and Indian food on Sunday, and then finished it off with 2 plates of pasta and couscous at a BBQ with a plate of cookies then coming home and ordering pizza at 9:30 last night. This morning I weighed myself at 159.7 lbs... Here's the thing. Most of my life I hovered around 185 lbs. Then 5 years ago I went from being a heavy bulimic to a normal sized anorexic. I told people about the bulimic part so they were all proud I stopped throwing up they didn't notice that I stopped eating all together. I was lying to my therapist and everyone was so happy I was getting help they didn't question it. In October of 2012 I got down to 138 lbs and it was amazing, I was able to get into my bat mitzvah dress from when I was 13 that was the last time I was that small. It's been a dream to get back to that ever since. I have to admit though, at that point I was getting ready to be in my sister's wedding and was throwing some stuff up if I couldn't get away with not eating my whole plate of high calorie food at a restaurant with family. I want to get back to that so badly, I really want to be 125 lbs. There's just something about that number that I really like, it sounds good, it looks good, it's my favorite weight for me... I've just never been there. So today is where I draw the line. I will do whatever it takes to get there. To start here's my meal plan for the day. Breakfast: Chobani Simply 100 Strawberry Banana (100 cal) and Coffee with Sweet and Low (0 cal) Lunch: Plain Yobaby Yogurt (80 cal) and a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough QuestBar (190 cal) Dinner: Beet Salad with Goat Cheese, Walnuts, and Arugula saved from the pizza order last night (est 358 cal) Total: 728 calories. Eventually I will get down to 500 calories per day. I also have a gym membership so I plan to be going there much more often. I've started running in the past few months and light weight lifting which I'm hoping will help me lose weight without giving me too much of an issue in terms of building muscle and making the scale not match the mirror type thing. Anyway, thanks for reading all of this if you've gotten down this far. It's been really nice coming and reading everything that you guys post here and it feels really good to finally post something. If you've got any advice I'd love to hear it! Thanks again :)

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A May 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 31 06:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4luvcg/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_may_31_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] Getting sick is so great
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 31 05:54:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4luud3/getting_sick_is_so_great/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I don't want the free cupcake >:(
/u/Rurm
Created: Tue May 31 01:55:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lu4vp/i_dont_want_the_free_cupcake/
---
I hate when these cafes give you a free little biscuit or shortbread whenever you get a coffee or tea. Today I go to this cute cafe for a green tea and they gave me this tiny little cupcake with my tea. It's so cute, with a rosette of soft pink frosting, but now I'll have to throw it away, I'm sorry little cupcake.


I would give it to the seagulls, but I don't know if the sugar would hurt them :(

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[Intro] I'm back after a month or two
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 31 00:32:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ltvuh/im_back_after_a_month_or_two/
---
Hey, I'm so glad to be back in this sub after I deleted my account (due to privacy). When I remade my account, I made a few posts but forgot my password :/

I feel awful because I tried to recover from my thoughts, I was becoming so absolutely obsessive but that just made me gain weight.

I can't wait to participate again in the food diaries and posts.

I'm 16 hours into my beverage fast (that I slept through most of), and keeping warm with hot drinks because it's super cold here.

There are a lot of active users I miss talking to on here that I'm happy to see again.

Thanks for this subreddit btw <3

---

[Discussion] Does thinspo not help, does it do the oppisite?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| trying to lose-25 lbs| F]
Created: Mon May 30 23:26:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lto2y/does_thinspo_not_help_does_it_do_the_oppisite/
---
Thinspo, for me does not really help.

Instead it does the opposite and makes me feel worse, because i can never look the way i want to.

Sometimes it even pushes me to binge because it makes me feel worse about myself.

anyone else?

---

[Intro] a re-introduction, i guess.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | F]
Created: Mon May 30 20:01:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lsvsz/a_reintroduction_i_guess/
---
Hi there. I was sort of active on my main reddit account for a little while but for personal reasons, I felt it would be better to make a new account. Because if anyone I knew in real life found my main account, I'd be screwed.

So uh, hi again. I've been having a rough time lately, what with binging a lot and purging for the first time ever a few days ago. I feel horrible about myself. I'm really lucky to have found this sub though. It's nice to meet you all again, hahaha.

---

[Discussion] Steps To Avoid Binging:
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| trying to lose-25 lbs| F]
Created: Mon May 30 19:28:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lsqwn/steps_to_avoid_binging/
---
- originally found on tumblr-


Complete the first step then return to the post. Keep going through the stages until you no longer wish to binge.

1. Drink 1 litre of water. Do it. Right now.

2. Get out a piece of paper and a pen. Write down 10 reasons why you want to lose weight.

3. Write at least 100 words on how you usually feel after binging.

4. Go to your favourite online clothes shop, Look at the models. Add some clothes into your basket. Imagine what you’d look like wearing those clothes if you kept up with your diet.

5. Now go to the bathroom (or somewhere you have privacy) and look at your body. Mentally take note of the top three areas you need to lose weight. Those areas will only get worse if you binge.

6. Write a letter to your future self. Set the send date to when you would like to achieve your next goal. You’ll feel embarassed and ashamed if you haven’t reached your goal by that day so don’t binge!

7. Make yourself a green tea or a coffee. Drink it.

8. Drink another litre of water. And take another bottle of water or glass of water up to your room.

9. You are now banned from the kitchen until tomorrow.

10. Organise your surroundings. Wash your makeup brushes, do some laundry, make your bed, hoover your bedroom, and throw away any scrap paper or old clothes.

11. Go and have a pamper session. Have a bath or shower. Put on a face mask, paint your nails, wash your hair, use a lip scrub, shave, and exfoliate.

DON’T skip a single stage. Keep on going through each step until you have completed everything on this list.
Stay strong and RESIST!

---

[Tip] For those who still like their booze...
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Mon May 30 19:13:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lsooe/for_those_who_still_like_their_booze/
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Vodka+sparkling water (0cal)+frozen pineapple(1/4 cup = 25cal)

New favorite drink. Also ive been horrible about posting in the daily intake lately but will try to do better. And update my flair ha

---

[Rant/Rave] Time for a fast!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 30 18:41:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lsju2/time_for_a_fast/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Kinda off topic but
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Mon May 30 18:09:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lsf27/kinda_off_topic_but/
---
I had a total fucking meltdown in the car on the way to my mom's house this afternoon. Thank the gods, husband was driving.

I've been trying really hard to keep it together lately, but I just couldn't anymore and totally lost it. I was crying and sobbing so hard I was basically screaming. That horrible ugly cry that no matter what you do you just end up crying harder. And louder. My poor husband. He's amazing and I feel awful that he's in love with this crazy, broken person.

I'd been toying with the idea of getting into therapy (I went when I was younger, pretty much only to get dx with panic disorder and social anxiety, but as I was only going to appease my mom, I just stopped going) and I think it's kind of inevitable that I start going. However, we are between insurances right now, so the earliest I could start going in August.

Ugh. And my eating is awful. I'm either binging or fasting. There is, quite literally, nothing in-between those two extremes. And I feel horrible and gross and bloated and like a giant fucking whale.

This last month has just been a giant clusterfuck of awfulness.

Thank you guys, though. Seriously. I wouldn't have kept it together for as long as I did without you guys.

---

[Help] Tips for circa 600kcal restricting while keeping up energy for exams?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Mon May 30 17:55:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lsd0a/tips_for_circa_600kcal_restricting_while_keeping/
---
I'm going to try my best to stick to 600kcals during exams, but how on earth do I get through them without compromising my grades?? Any tips for what to eat to maximise energy + performance while also staying relatively low cal??

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[Discussion] Potentially Transitioning to Veganism?
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 30 17:46:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lsbmo/potentially_transitioning_to_veganism/
---
So, I'm currently a full vegetarian and eat keto about 70% (working on getting to 100%) of the time. I was actually considering reintroducing fish into my diet because I think fish is great for getting lots of nutrients and feeling full for a long time and is pretty low cal, but then I read [this](http://www.eatplantsdrinkbeer.com/readup/2016/5/28/dear-vegans-cant-you-take-a-joke) which is all stuff I already knew, but just because I had been considering switching the opposite way it made me feel especially bad. [This](http://ideas.ted.com/should-you-stop-eating-fish-2/) TED article is what made me stop eating fish (the last meat I gave up) in the first place, if anyone was curious.

I've got a few concerns here. Vegetarian keto is already pretty intense. Not to mention I already don't eat cow milk or cheese because I can't eat casein, but I do eat goat cheese, eggs, and if nothing else is available I'll put a splash of cream in my coffee (instead of my usual almond or soy.)

One of the easiest things for me to do is to eat a hard boiled egg or two and not eat again for hours because they're so good at keeping you full. I'm worried about needing to exchange something like that with more food, but even if it's low cal or "healthier," if I'm eating multiple of something I find it incredibly hard to stop and that's what triggers a lot of binges for me (because eating multiple is okay = eat ALL OF IT ALL AT ONCE.) Anyways.

TL;DR I'm sorry this is so long -- how have some of you that have gone vegan found dealing with small, preferably single-serving foods that keep you full for longer?

Edit: Oh my God, I'm sorry if this is incredibly incoherent. I'm feeling pretty ill.

---

[Discussion] What exercises do you do to make your thighs thinner?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 30 17:45:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lsbf6/what_exercises_do_you_do_to_make_your_thighs/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] I'm going to start calorie counting again.
/u/Elope
Created: Mon May 30 17:32:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ls9h5/im_going_to_start_calorie_counting_again/
---
I'm kind of scared, to be honest. Calorie counting was always an all or nothing thing for me. If I went a hundred or so calories over my limit, it was "fuck it you're a failure, time to binge". I'm starting at a relatively high number (1600) to take things slow. I just don't want to become trapped in the cycle of binging and restricting again. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

---

[Discussion] Can we make a thread where
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon May 30 17:05:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ls56q/can_we_make_a_thread_where/
---
Everybody just posts a full bodu pic clothed, no face with stats included. Idk about you guys but I'd love to see people my height with different weights and all. Just checking in with you to see if anyone else would like this.

~ ideas happen at 1 am ~

---

[Rant/Rave] I HATE YOU BULK DEALS
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon May 30 17:00:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ls4i4/i_hate_you_bulk_deals/
---
So I binged today, got binge food on my way to work to eat while cycling there, I'd normally only buy one chocolate bar but because they were buy 2 get 1 free I ate 3.

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[Intro] time to lose all this weight
/u/tartansheep [5'10 | 146lb|20.4 | -8lb| F]
Created: Mon May 30 16:31:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ls003/time_to_lose_all_this_weight/
---
hey

recovered from an ED where my BMI was at its lowest 15 or so. BMI now 21.23 and I've gained like 50lb since my lowest weight! I've also grown three inches, but like.

I can't do this I can't do this. Today I ate three pieces of pizza and some chicken (around 900 calories) and it's freaking me out. I only burned off about 200 as well.

I wanna fast tomorrow but idk if I can, I'm taking mdma tomorrow night and never taken it on an empty stomach.

I'm literally forcing myself to relapse. It's the only thing I can think of. :(

---

[Rant/Rave] So I needed something for migrain today
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon May 30 16:21:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lryh4/so_i_needed_something_for_migrain_today/
---
And I asked someone from the store to find the right one. She then asked me if I was a "normal" weight. And since I'm like 8 lb away from underweight I am now freaking out if she thought I was overweight and needed a higher dosage.

---

[Help] Where to buy miracle noodles?
/u/Myuuji [169 | 53.4 | 18.70 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 16:09:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lrwni/where_to_buy_miracle_noodles/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lrwni/where_to_buy_miracle_noodles/

---

[Help] Buying caffeine pills in the Netherlands without vitamins added to them
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 95 lbs | 16.80 | -60 lbs]
Created: Mon May 30 16:09:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lrwke/buying_caffeine_pills_in_the_netherlands_without/
---
Is this possible and if yes, where?

---

[Intro] Starting Fresh
/u/smollish [5'5" | 144 | 24 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 16:01:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lrvbc/starting_fresh/
---
Hi there.

I stumbled upon this sub earlier today, and honestly... it's the best thing that could've happened to me.

Lil background: I used to be overweight at a BMI of 26. I gained some inches and lost a LOT of weight, and now I'm at a BMI of 24.4. I still have a long way to go, though. I often binge and restrict, but, since last Monday, I put myself at 600-800 kcal a day and I haven't binged yet. The weight in my flair is the weight that I found myself at today.

Here's to hoping that everyone on this lovely, lovely subreddit can keep me on track.

---

[Help] I take 8mg of ephedrine with a caffeine pill, can I still work out on that low dose?
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 30 14:54:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lrkmj/i_take_8mg_of_ephedrine_with_a_caffeine_pill_can/
---
I want to be able to run and use my gym membership but the EC stack is working so well at suppressing my hunger that I don't want to give it up. Do you think it's safe to add fitness into my routine while taking the dose that I am?

---

[Help] I drink too much lemon and lime juice. How can I cut down?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 124.7 | 18.1/18.4 | -22 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 13:33:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lr6z6/i_drink_too_much_lemon_and_lime_juice_how_can_i/
---
Recently I've been craving sour foods and drinks A LOT. Like, I would eat lemons and limes all fucking day if they didn't hurt my teeth. I switched to lemon and lime juice, and, even though I usually dilute it with water, it's starting to really irritate my mouth and throat. I know it's weird, but I crave it SO badly. And like, it helps me restrict, too. Making lemon or limeade sweetened with Stevia is my go-to drink, but I can tell it's eroding my insides... What should I do? (I know this sounds ridiculous, but I promise I am 100% serious.)

---

[Discussion] anyone else have binges that happen across multiple days?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Mon May 30 13:29:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lr67y/anyone_else_have_binges_that_happen_across/
---
Okay maybe "binge" isnt the correct term in this context because a binge technically happens in a short period of time. But what I mean is does anyone else have those long stretches of time where they just keep impulsively eating and its really hard to stop...

Ive been in one of those lately - got my first job on Saturday, decided to say "fuck it" to all my hard work for some reason and celebrate with a bag of cookies that I really like, and Ive just been a mess since then. Ate a fuckload of chinese food yesterday, the leftovers of it and a whole pizza today, not to mention the constant snacking...... Im really disappointed in myself, but I think I've finally reached a limit for today. Going out tomorrow and Wednesday, then got class on Thursday and Friday and work on Saturday, so I'm gonna fast as long as possible. Just gonna survive off of diet coke and water for the most part, I think.

I just want to know if anyone else deals with this or something similar? Its really frustrating cos I usually try so hard but these past few days have probably ruined everything but Im too scared to check and I dont think Ill be ready to check for the next few days :( Only positive thing thats come out of this is that its emphasised the whole idea of not treating food as a reward for things to me. Next time I'll just buy myself some nice socks hahaha

---

[Discussion] Got myself into a stressful situation with a family member... could use some reassurance/advice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 30 12:05:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lqrpj/got_myself_into_a_stressful_situation_with_a/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Anyone in treatment for their ED?
/u/thin_is_in [5'8 | 128lbs | 19.5 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 30 11:43:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lqo3g/anyone_in_treatment_for_their_ed/
---
I'm in active treatment (weekly therapy) for EDNOS, and every week I sit in the waiting room looking at /r/proED and thinspo. I don't know what I'm hoping to achieve, but I still go.

Anyone else here in treatment/post-treatment? Do you feel like you achieved anything from your treatment?

---

[Help] [HELP]Grocery list?
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 11:39:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lqna9/helpgrocery_list/
---
My mom finaly agreed to buy me food I can actualy eat. I don't want to starve all of the time but anything above 400 calories is the enemy and I wont fucking eat it. So.. can any of you help me? What does a healthy, skinny girl have on her monthly grocery list?

---

[Help] Help asap please
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Mon May 30 11:25:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lqkr4/help_asap_please/
---
I have a Dr appointment this afternoon for antidepressants, are there any good ones out there that don't make you binge endlessly or sleep all the time?

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[Discussion] Tips to not binge
/u/14C-sucrose [5'4" | 124 | 21.28 | -52 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 11:12:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lqil9/tips_to_not_binge/
---
Hey all, I'm new to this sub. Nice to meet you! :)

Yesterday I ate really bad, so I'm trying to fast and burn a lot of calories today. One of my favorite ways to make sure I can't eat is to paint my nails. That way I don't fuck up my nails in the process of trying to make food.

What are your guys' little tips that help you to avoid eating?

---

[Discussion] DAE get crazy heartbeat after a bad binge [Discussion]
/u/whiimsii
Created: Mon May 30 10:48:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lqefm/dae_get_crazy_heartbeat_after_a_bad_binge/
---
Does anyone else experience increased pulse after a binge.

I noticed that my heart rate really speeds up when I lie in bed in that numbed out, catatonic post-binge state.

I just wonder if it's because my heart is struggling to send blood to my poor, distended stomach that's working so hard to digest all the crap I put in it. Or maybe it's related to blood sugar going nuts?

I think there could be some legit sciencey explanation for this. That, or I'm just plain broken and a freak and am going to suffer a spontaneous heart attack sometime soon.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 30 10:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lq6rc/daily_food_diary_may_30_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 30, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Other] For the past week I've been high cal restricting. It's giving me anxiety.
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 30 06:42:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lpcp5/for_the_past_week_ive_been_high_cal_restricting/
---
I essentially eat as little as possible from the time I wake up until dinner. I try to run, but I'm a lazy slug and I can't find the motivation or energy to work out.

After dinner I usually go on a pretty long walk through the woods in a park nearby for about an hour. Probably burns about 300 calories I hope.

I just feel like this whole high calorie thing isn't fast enough. I'm getting jittery just thinking about it. 1200 calories a day, burn off until you're at under 1000.

The only good thing is at least my weight is stable. I'm not going up 5 pounds or down 5 pounds a week because I restrict and then binge at night...

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[Rant/Rave] I really dislike when people push food on you.
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 120 | -25 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 06:04:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lp7xi/i_really_dislike_when_people_push_food_on_you/
---
My mother asks me if I've eaten breakfast, school lunch, something after school, something during work, and dinner after work. Refusing food always ends up with her telling me "I need to eat" and then me having to explain that if I'm not hungry, then I'm not eating. Sometimes she'll push carby quesadillas on me or something without me asking and it's like no wonder I grew up being overweight.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! May 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 30 06:03:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lp7r9/weekly_stats_update_may_30_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for May 30, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] I can't be happy like this
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | 95.7 | 17.43 | -22 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 05:57:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lp77f/i_cant_be_happy_like_this/
---
I don't even know how many weeks things have been off the rails, and I haven't weighed myself in at least a month (even if when I did I couldn't get an accurate reading bc of water retention). I have no idea how many calories I've been eating. I've been tracking, but on the premise that I get up my binges. My fave is constantly puffy from salt and my glands are always swollen and I'm tired of going to bed feeling like a marshmallow and I want my flat stomach back of a morning. I am so tired of this cycle and I am so tired of not being where I want to be.

Granted, I've been tired of this for the past weeks (months??), but things have to change some time right? Fingers crossed for tomorrow, eh.

---

Research participants needed for ED study
/u/FoodBodyResearch
Created: Mon May 30 05:52:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lp6mc/research_participants_needed_for_ed_study/
---
[removed]

---

[Goal] A few victories!
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 123 | 19.8 | -42 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 03:13:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4loqko/a_few_victories/
---
Hi there! The last few months I've been losing the same 5 pounds and gaining it back again. I felt terrible. But today is a good day!

First of all, I'm beating my fasting record. I'm going for 6,5 days and I'm on day 6. I'm finally below my lowest weight in a few years and it feels really good. The downside (TMI)? I haven't pooped in more than a week.

Also, I've hit 125 lbs! That means my BMI is almost under 20. I can't wait for that to happen. I feel like I finally have myself under control again.

Do you have any small victories?

---

[Rant/Rave] i hate my body
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 02:58:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lop7z/i_hate_my_body/
---
old news, but seriously every single time i look in the mirror while i'm changing clothes or catch a glimpse of myself after a shower or whatever i literally say out loud to myself "jesus you're fat" and it's not even body dysmorphia its just fucking TRUE. i am enormous and i keep making excuses to eat (this weekend it's been "memorial day!" "friends are around!" fucking bullshit). i feel like i'll never have enough control over my fucking life to even get a handle on one thing that is ENTIRELY within my control, that is, what i put in my fucking mouth [end rant]

---

[Discussion] What's on your shopping list?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 30 01:12:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4loexw/whats_on_your_shopping_list/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Looking back on old photos of myself, wondering how I ever slipped up this bad
/u/katiejay_ [5"9 | Godzilla | BMI 26 | F]
Created: Mon May 30 00:43:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4loc45/looking_back_on_old_photos_of_myself_wondering/
---
http://imgur.com/a/HXSBa

I 'recovered' when I was never underweight. I gained instead of maintaining. At my lowest weight of 64kg my immune system was starting to take a toll and I kept getting sick, I was pumped full of antibiotics and meds and gradually over the following 2 years gained back ALL the weight I had worked so hard to lose. None of my clothes fit and I am fucking miserable. There is no excuse, I did this to myself.

I know it's going to take a long time to gradually lose weight and keep it off, but I am NOT going through this again. Please keep me accountable. Sorry for the rambling.

---

[Goal] I don't know what's gotten into me but it stops now.
/u/whenigettomoab [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 EWWWW | F]
Created: Sun May 29 22:22:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lnwjf/i_dont_know_whats_gotten_into_me_but_it_stops_now/
---
Hi everyone. The last month or so has been really, really off for me. I've been able to eat either less than 500 calories (a total of like six days in all of May) or upwards of 5000 (all the rest) and no middle ground. That ratio is so far off from what it had been before, and it's really alarming to me. I can't understand why I've behaved like this, but the huge wakeup call was when I purged for the first time since I was about 14 (I'm 21 now).

This has to end. I can't do this anymore. Today was the last binge day for the summer. I wrote up a workout calendar and put it on my bulletin board right by the door, and I'm going to do what it says every day. I'm going to stick to a reasonable number of calories every day (like maybe less than 1000 on the days I eat). I'm going to fast twice a week.

I will get control of myself, and not feel like such a fat cow loser who can't manage her own behavior. I just really need to get back to where I was when I was restricting so well and I was so happy.

I'm mostly posting this for a sense of accountability, and in case any of you are in a similar boat and want to commiserate. I hope all of you lovelies are doing better this weekend than I am. I'll be posting in the daily food diary every day, and holding myself to it. In one month I will be under control and I'll hate myself less.

---

[Rant/Rave] Beer
/u/frelling_nemo
Created: Sun May 29 21:20:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lnokj/beer/
---
So, I decided to let loose a little today and had three beers. Daily calories are at 748, but I still feel like a bloated sack of ass for letting go of myself like that. I've been running up and down my house stairs all evening, and my boyfriend is looking at me like I'm nuts. I am really not looking forward to the scale tomorrow.

---

[Rant/Rave] Impulsivity is the WORST. It is disorder.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 29 21:17:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lno66/impulsivity_is_the_worst_it_is_disorder/
---
What the fuck. I had a great day restricting. And then I went to the gym and almost gave up half-way through but stuck with it, which made me feel really powerful in the end. And then I came home with a plan in mind so that I wouldn't binge. I ate the fish and I ate a few pieces of watermelon. Exactly my plan. 11pm. Day complete, great job! I mindfully and actively did all this with images in my head of skinny fit thinspo. I self-talked the entire time saying, "good, good. very healthy. great protein, low cal. you're fine, just fine. You're content. Not hungry, you're good." I then ate my multivitamins. I then prepared my 4 oz diet cranberry juice/28oz water bottle to take to bed. I then REACHED FOR THE BREAD I ACTIVELY AVOIDED AND PROMISED MYSELF I WOULDN'T EAT ALL DAY, SLICED A PIECE DOWN, MICROWAVED IT, BUTTERED IN PROFUSELY, ATE IT. And then came to again.

I swear to god ED is a demon that lives inside of me. It takes control, IMPULSIVELY grabs for food, prepares it, eats it, and then leaves me. When it enters, it blocks out any other thoughts I've accumulated all day.

It deletes mantras. It silences logic. It stifles willpower.

And then it leaves and I'm back. Alone and regretful.

---

[Rant/Rave] Just want to complain about family for a bit...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 29 20:37:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lnisj/just_want_to_complain_about_family_for_a_bit/
---
First, my grandma. She saw me for the first time today. I'm down five pounds since she last saw me. She's convinced im too skinny. Said i look like a bean pole. Tried offering me ice cream, cookies, and a banana. I refused.

I hate when people push food on me. Im super stubborn and it just makes me want to eat even less.

Next is my mom. She drives me insane. She is convinced that because Ive dialed back on my eating im going to go into starvation mode and never lose weight and fuck up my metabolism and gain all the weight i lose back again as soon as I start "eating normally again".

Starvation mode is a fucking myth leave me alone woman.

Finally, my dad... why are dads so insensitive. He called me broad infront of the waiter at a restaurant. Who calls their own dayghter large and broad??? Ugh...

Sorry it's just so annoying when people make such a show anout this shit. Just leave me alone.

/rant over

---

[Tip] 15 minutes hula hooping = 100 calories burned
/u/brokenCosmos [5'7" | fat as hell | - 20 | GW: 99 | F]
Created: Sun May 29 19:37:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lnap9/15_minutes_hula_hooping_100_calories_burned/
---
Hula hooping burns about 7 calories per minute, and it has been super helpful to help me lose. I hula hoop for 15 minutes every hour from 9AM-6PM on the weekends and during the summer which is 150 minutes or 1,000 calories. If you don't own a hula hoop, aerobic dancing is about the same.

Kickboxing is harder, as most people don't own punching bags, but 20 minutes is around 280 calories burned, and it's definitely my go to exercise.

If any of you guys have hula hoops, I'd highly recommend doing it while you watch a movie or something. It's also not very difficult, so you can do it even while fasting or restricting heavily.

Hope this helps!

---

[Discussion] Has anyone cut out alcohol and noticed a huge difference?
/u/gogetterray
Created: Sun May 29 17:26:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lmt5f/has_anyone_cut_out_alcohol_and_noticed_a_huge/
---
I was at a good place with my weight around christmas. I ended up with someone and we drink on a regular basis. Its never in excess and I try to keep it to no or low cal choices. Lately we've been doing corona lights and out of no where my thunder cottage cheese thighs are back and so are my jiggle arms. I like drinking socially but not at the expense of my thigh gap dream. Has anyone else cut out the drinking and really noticed a change?

---

Weight loss partners?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 29 17:14:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lmrpb/weight_loss_partners/
---
[removed]

---

[Discussion] I think all of us have related to this at least once
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 29 14:28:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lm334/i_think_all_of_us_have_related_to_this_at_least/
---
http://m.imgur.com/etQTEGk

---

[Help] Laxative rebound effects? Miralax?
/u/yozhik0607 [5'7" | Female]
Created: Sun May 29 13:14:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4llrrm/laxative_rebound_effects_miralax/
---
I'm going on a trip next Saturday and I wanted to do a total clean out in the next couple days so that my digestive system is better for it (I have IBS). Had a colonoscopy a month ago and was thinking about doing the otc version of colonoscopy prep (Miralax in Gatorade). I've used senna tea 4 or 5 times and the last time I used them, 2 weeks ago I had what I felt was rebound constipation after. I would much rather avoid this while I'm traveling and I can't figure out if there is a risk of rebound constipation from Miralax. My understanding is it is osmotic - pulls in water - not physical like induces peristalsis, so I'm wondering if it is less likely to have that rebound effect (I didn't feel like I had one after the colonoscopy prep which was also osmotic but I had never ever taken a chemical laxative before). Any thoughts/experiences? I would love to have the clean out effect but definitely want to avoid followup constipation if at all possible.

---

[Rant/Rave] fast update
/u/sarahPenguin [5'6"| 185lbs | MtF]
Created: Sun May 29 12:39:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4llmku/fast_update/
---
An update to the fast I posted about [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lez90/got_the_house_to_myself_so_that_means_i_can_fast/)

I was able to fast for around 36 hours after I posted (44 if you count from my last meal) ended up having to break it because the heat was getting to me. Ended up binge eating about 1500 calories and now I hate myself. Attempted to purge but only got a tiny amount out. I can't fast right. I can't purge right. I can't even not binge right. Why am I such a fat failure. I am the worst person ever. All I want is to be small enough that I don't exist is that really too much to ask.

---

[Discussion] TFW...
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Sun May 29 12:34:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lllqu/tfw/
---
-you're bulimic but you have strep throat so you will cry if you purge

-you have body dysmorphia and you can't accurately guess what size you are when shopping

-you can't spend money on bras because your weight fluctuates so much

-your head hurts during a fast but you dont want to take advil on an empty stomach

-someone surprises you with food and you look like a dick for saying no

-you have a tiny panic attack when you think about pasta

-you can't lift 30lbs because all youve eaten for 3 days is cellery and a cracker with peanut butter

-vanity sizing gives you false confindence

-people unknowingly joke about you having an ed and laugh while you die inside

---

[Other] The regret
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun May 29 11:26:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4llbat/the_regret/
---
http://i.imgur.com/5KxlWmy.jpg

---

[Goal] Accidental 24-hour fast!
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 95 lb | 19.54 | -32 lb | FTM]
Created: Sun May 29 10:26:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ll22i/accidental_24hour_fast/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/711349f9256c4063b06ba28b23930769?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=9230cde29fd2e525fa1d14f8e292f408

---

[Help] Food to buy?
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 95 lb | 19.54 | -32 lb | FTM]
Created: Sun May 29 10:14:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ll07e/food_to_buy/
---
Hey everyone - sorry, I'll flair once I'm back on my computer again.

So, my dad and I had an argument after I tried to refuse some food in which he got mad at me for not eating enough. Later, he conceded by saying that I could give him a list of food to get so that I could eat that and watch calories/weight.

My only problem is that I want to restrict to way way below what he (or anyone without an ED, lmao) would consider acceptable, but I guess I can deal with that later.

I asked him and he said both meal and snack-type food, so I dunno how this'll work in terms of eating with family/them cooking vs me cooking/etc., but again I guess I'll find out...

So, if any of you could suggest things I'd be very grateful! Here's what I've got so far:

* Fiber One cereal/bars

* Tuna

* Strawberries

* Cantaloupe

* Raspberries

* Sweet potato

* Clementines

* Celery

* Baby carrots

* Bell peppers

* Cucumber

* Almond milk

* Green tea

* Unsweetened cashew milk

* Pure pumpkin (can)

* Apple sauce

* 0% fat Greek yogurt

* Whole Grain bread

Thank you so much!

Edit: realized I should probably point out that I'm a minor and thus living with my parents.
Edit 2: Formatting, I apologize!

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun May 29 10:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lkyfs/daily_food_diary_may_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] When you think you're getting close and then you wear a bikini....
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 29 08:10:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lkjxz/when_you_think_youre_getting_close_and_then_you/
---
And you hate yourself the second you take off your wrap because you're still so gross.

Guess I'm lowering my GW now....

---

[Tip] $5.99 at Target right now: flavored coffee!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 29 08:02:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lkj1y/599_at_target_right_now_flavored_coffee/
---
http://www.target.com/p/archer-farms-dark-chocolate-truffle-light-roast-ground-coffee-12-oz/-/A-14831416

---

[Tip] To my fellow Danes: these are only 53 kcal a cup!
/u/Melusedek [173 | 58.9 | 19.45 | F]
Created: Sun May 29 07:59:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lkimn/to_my_fellow_danes_these_are_only_53_kcal_a_cup/
---
http://imgur.com/4Z6graN

---

[Goal] Old clothes fitting again!
/u/lilashtraay
Created: Sun May 29 07:53:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lki08/old_clothes_fitting_again/
---
I had a period of time this winter after a break up where I was nonstop binging. This guy ended up going around telling people I was "too thin" and that it was "disgusting." I thought hearing that would reinforce my behavior, but it ended up making me feel terrible and made me feel like I should gain some weight. I went from being 190lbs initially to 110-115 lbs, and then back up to 135 lbs. I felt so terrible about myself and all of my really cute clothes, that I spent tons of money on, didn't fit properly. I felt like I wasted so much money since the clothing wasn't cheap. Anyway, I tried on my XS clothes a couple days ago and they fit! I couldn't believe it. I tried to ignore how terrible my arms and legs looked in them because I was just so ecstatic that they fit. They differently weren't as loose fitting as they were on me before, but, hey, it's progress! :-)

---

[Other] Not Safe for Someone on restricting, but I had to steal this picture from funny to say AMATEURS! F***ING AMATEURS!
/u/jimmyolsenblues
Created: Sun May 29 06:40:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lkadp/not_safe_for_someone_on_restricting_but_i_had_to/
---
https://i.redd.it/8gpusqdquzzw.jpg

---

[Help] Do you keep journals/diaries? Any advice?
/u/_saisonenenfer [175cm | not thin :( | M]
Created: Sun May 29 06:39:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lka8w/do_you_keep_journalsdiaries_any_advice/
---
I do. I like to write it down on paper because I feel more free to write how I want, make changes/notes and so on. but I wonder if there's a better way. I'd like to keep a food journal and keep measurements but also write down my thoughts and feelings. do you know if there's like a "format/way" you have that you think is good? I hope this makes sense

---

[Discussion] Eat more call of protein and fat to cause ketosis? Or still restrict? What will cause weight loss quicker or just fat, no muscles
/u/ContinueRepeat [5ft8| 70.54kg| BMI 23. 4 |1.5kg | F]
Created: Sun May 29 05:48:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lk5k3/eat_more_call_of_protein_and_fat_to_cause_ketosis/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] "I'm angry, underweight, and sketching out." - Frank Turner
/u/Lupish_Ah [6'1 | 135 |-15 | Male]
Created: Sun May 29 01:41:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ljm5d/im_angry_underweight_and_sketching_out_frank/
---
I'm super drunk rn, but I gotta say, I really love this sub. It's so supportive of something nobody else is, and I think that so beautiful.
I've been really nervous lately because my mom has started to catch on, as I've just recently been entering the underweight section for boys who are 6 feet tall. I've had less privacy, less liberty to be hungry, and less alchohol, but I can cope for now.
How about you guys?

BTW, you should check out the guy in the title he makes good music. I really like his song recovery

---

[Goal] If I'm invisible to my SO
/u/mommytummy
Created: Sun May 29 01:37:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ljlum/if_im_invisible_to_my_so/
---
Then maybe that's just more motivation to get even closer to invisibility. After a great beginning to the year, I'll choose to chase my next GW. Let's go 120 and 19.4 BMI. Then 115 and 18.4. Not sure on UGW. Would like to keep it "healthy" if possible, between 110 and 115 but it's one of those we'll see when we get there kind of things.

Time-line is 115lbs by my birthday in August. That will probably allow for some awesome Halloween costumes! I can do it faster but I want to do it and stick it or carry on. Man, loneliness sucks even more when you're not actually, physically alone.

---

[Other] IRL Ana friend (healthy relationship)
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 29 00:59:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ljiuy/irl_ana_friend_healthy_relationship/
---
I just got in contact with someone I had been barely exchanging texts with. I was given her contact information by friends who knew my issues. She is 66 and struggled with anorexia for 32 years. I don't feel ready for treatment again, not now, but she has volunteered to work like my own personal ED crises phone line. She has done this and is doing this with several other people in their 20s. It feels like a relief to have someone able to just talk me through a panic attack because people want pizza tonight. I wanted to post this since my SO thinks it's nice but still just can't relate to what I'm going through. It is amazing to have someone to relate to and now be pushy one way or the other. She wants to help keep people healthy but she was never helped by someone telling her how to eat and when et cetera. It's just comforting. That's all I want to say.

---

[Discussion] Inspiring tv shows/movies?
/u/nymph-y
Created: Sun May 29 00:16:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ljf3o/inspiring_tv_showsmovies/
---
What would you pick as the program that gives you the ultimate inspiration?

---

[Help] I'm new to restricting and so badly want to lose weight. Would love some comments on what I can expect.
/u/many_contradictions
Created: Sat May 28 23:30:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ljals/im_new_to_restricting_and_so_badly_want_to_lose/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] Purged for the first time.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 28 23:23:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lj9wo/purged_for_the_first_time/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] Poetry
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 111 | 19.66 | +10pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat May 28 21:15:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4livlg/poetry/
---
https://youtu.be/JLrSWMkpTM4

---

[Other] Slam Poetry
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 111 | 19.66 | +10pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat May 28 20:21:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lip0b/slam_poetry/
---
https://youtu.be/16Tb_bZZDv0

---

[Discussion] DAE successfully fast and eat a low calorie meal and still want to purge?
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 28 20:03:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4limp2/dae_successfully_fast_and_eat_a_low_calorie_meal/
---
I has a successful 24 hour fast and ate a low calorie meal to break it, under 100 calories. But as I was sitting here thinking how it feels to have all this food pooling in my stomach I thought to purge. I usually only purge after a binge, and even so I don't purge after EVERY binge. I really don't purge that often so why the sudden urge now after everything I put in my body was clean? I guess I just like the feeling of being light and empty...

---

[Rant/Rave] First time rant, I'm so upset
/u/glipglopsfromthe3rdD [5'1" | 109 | 21.51 | female]
Created: Sat May 28 19:49:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lil12/first_time_rant_im_so_upset/
---
I live with my parents. My younger brother has his grad party tomorrow. My parents are very stressed out, they care a LOT about appearance and presentation. All day long we've been cleaning the house, making sure the yard looks nice, and finishing the photo collages for my brother. I helped out, because I told them I would and because they expect it of me.

But this evening.... you see, my mom procrastinated on a lot of the things we needed to do. And I said I'd help her more than I have, but honestly this isn't my job, this isn't my party, this isn't my house. I already do the majority of the cleaning around here and I work more hours per week than she does! I was up at 8 am this morning and I was helping them. I just spent two hours literally scrubbing the bathroom with a toothbrush. And they're just screaming, at me, at each other, berating me for my "pissy mood" all day, treating me horribly. And while I was cleaning the bathroom, I realized that for my own graduation, they screamed at me the night before because I didn't have my photo collages done. And three years later, here they are, screaming at me about my brothers.

I will never be good enough. I will always be lazy, entitled, pathetic, and bitchy. I'm the emotionally damaged middle child and they will never ever feel differently about me.

When my eating disorder started, it was after they didn't show up for the spelling bee that I won. I stuffed myself with so much food that night, and I puked it all up.

I stopped purging eventually. I started restricting. I've been in a cycle of weight gain and loss since I was a freshman in high school. They will never notice. I thought the reasons for my ED had changed. My disease now is more about control and the pursuit of perfection. But sometimes I'm still that depressed little girl who just won the spelling bee and had to call her parents and tell them because they were at marriage counseling, instead of sitting in the audience.

---

[Help] Amazing song about self harm/ED Amazing artist. Talked to me at great length about her self harm and ED at concert. Just a song I listen to all the fu**ing time to help me think about things
/u/ElectroFlannelGore
Created: Sat May 28 19:22:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lihr9/amazing_song_about_self_harmed_amazing_artist/
---
https://youtu.be/U_o7QfcOSWA

---

[Rant/Rave] A happy moment
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 28 16:25:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lhume/a_happy_moment/
---
I guess i should preface this with a little history. Ever since i was 13 everyone i have ever been close with, with the exception of my mom, has hurt me or i have lost in some way. countless people. my whole family, the many boyfriends i've had (i lost my father and i guess i use boyfriends as a hopeless attempt at male affection) have cheated on me or treated me poorly. All of my friends have left me. I have no one. No one asks to hang out, no one calls to check on me, its like i dont exist. This is where the disorder comes in. A hopeless attempt at "maybe if i looked better and was thinner people would like me more" "i can't control anything else in my life, i can't control my happiness, but at least i can control this and this can make me happy." i've never been underweight, now i am a pound or 2 from being underweight and people are actually talking to me for once. Before, no one ever noticed me, no one ever talked to me. I sulked around work, just doing my job and going home, its like i didn't exist. Lately so many people have been talking to me, it makes me so happy. Its always about my weight but i don't care, people are actually acknowledging me. I went home last weekend and my mom said "you are so thin, you need to eat more", lots of people at work tell me i've lost weight. its wonderful. People talk about doing something just for the attention. Maybe i am doing this just for the attention, but fuck it, maybe i need the attention, maybe i deserve the attention, I'm sick of sitting at home by myself day in and day out and no one ever caring. people care now. I knew someday this would be worth it.

---

[Discussion] I always have these little conversations with myself while binging
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat May 28 14:24:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lhe2p/i_always_have_these_little_conversations_with/
---
Always like
"Food won't stop the pain, you would be so strong to stop it."

"But I can't!"

"Yes you can, it will only make you feel worse."

"I need more."

"Go for a walk instead."

"I should but I need more!!"


And this goes on as long as I binge. Does anyone else does this?

---

[Rant/Rave] Rude, shameful but motivational experience at a convenience store
/u/tinylunacat [5'4 | 110lb | 19| Female]
Created: Sat May 28 14:14:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lhcuj/rude_shameful_but_motivational_experience_at_a/
---
I've just had a disappointing night out. I was supposed to meet someone at a bar but they never showed. On the way home I stopped at a convenience store which happened to sell a low calorie packet of crisps I love. As I was walking to the check out, some guy behind me said "oh chips, that's healthy!" Sarcastically probably. I bought them and then threw them out right away. I was so mad, he was so rude and I thought I was making a healthy choice but he didn't. So fuck him. I realised I'd rather go hungry than have someone think I'm pigging out after s night out.

---

[Rant/Rave] Welp, I binged 1000 cals this morning. For once, I'm not wallowing. I'm fixing it.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Sat May 28 14:04:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lhbdk/welp_i_binged_1000_cals_this_morning_for_once_im/
---
3 miles down, 7 to go. That's roughly a net. I'm on my treadmill and watching Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition.

I feel like I'm doing shit. Woo!

---

[Rant/Rave] I blinked and then BAM 20lbs
/u/getswoll
Created: Sat May 28 13:52:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lh9or/i_blinked_and_then_bam_20lbs/
---
I went from gross fat to horrifyingly fat in just 2 months! I weighed myself this morning and was 160lbs!!!! I honestly almost cried.

---

[Discussion] Sometimes I feel like my disorder isn't real...
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 120 | -25 | F]
Created: Sat May 28 12:18:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lgvxk/sometimes_i_feel_like_my_disorder_isnt_real/
---
I mean, I don't know for sure if I have an eating disorder. I've never seen a psychiatrist or anything for it. But I feel like I do because I relate to so many other people here on this sub. My perception of my own body changes like a roller coaster, and it controls my mood for the day. I fear the scale. Food and calories are ALWAYS on my mind. I'm obsessed with restricting to low amounts like 600, and I will exercise my ass off if I slip up and go over. Eating a huge amount of food gives me that feeling that I've done something VERY wrong, and it makes me wanna cry and purge.

Sometimes I get "bulimia" phases where I will binge and binge even when I feel full. I'll sometimes take a jar of peanut butter and eat it like Winnie the Pooh eats honey out of his jar. Sometimes I'll eat it too fast and I get that painful feeling in my upper chest but I'll still keep going... And I will attempt to purge everything I've eaten out, but I'm constantly surrounded by people so I don't always get that opportunity.

Then I have periods of normalcy. I will eat a healthy 1200-1500 calories of food and not think twice about it. I don't feel obsessed or anything. I just feel the way I did before I started having an unhealthy relationship with food. And this is why I feel like I don't belong here... Does anyone else ever feel this way?

---

Kik Support Group
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 28 11:23:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lgo9e/kik_support_group/
---
[removed]

---

[Other] It's a vicious cycle.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Sat May 28 10:12:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lgear/its_a_vicious_cycle/
---
http://i.imgur.com/GUbKiyW.jpg

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat May 28 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lgcua/daily_food_diary_may_28_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Tip] I'm one of the "naturally skinny girls" group
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 28 09:45:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lgal9/im_one_of_the_naturally_skinny_girls_group/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Does anybody else LOVES pro ed jokes? *trigger warning* Let's laugh at ourselves
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 28 08:56:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lg40o/does_anybody_else_loves_pro_ed_jokes_trigger/
---
But first, i know that anorexia or bulimia jokes can be hurtful or triggering but it can be good to laugh at yourself sometimes.. I don't tend to offend anyone (:


For example:


-Anorexia is not a piece of cake.


-Why do bulimics love KFC?
Because it comes with a bucket.


-Bulimia can be an analogy to life. No matter how hard you try to ignore your problems, they'll come up sooner or later.


-Why do bulimics get drunk? Because they know it'll come up later.



-Why do anorexics eat other anorexics? Because they're low fat.


-What's the difference between anorexia and bulimia? The cost.


-Why did the anorexics have to go back to elementary school? Because they couldn't finish their ABCs...


-Life is a piece of cake for bulimics.

Source: Myproana.

---

[Help] Restricting makes me too dizzy/weak/exhausted to function. Advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 28 07:55:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lfwb2/restricting_makes_me_too_dizzyweakexhausted_to/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Goodbye 50s, hello 60s...
/u/FatUnderThreat [5'6" | 129.8lbs | 20.53 | F]
Created: Sat May 28 06:57:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lfpjc/goodbye_50s_hello_60s/
---
So I weighed myself this morning after maybe a week of not weighing myself - I have officially left the (*somewhat*) safe zone of being in the 50's and now weigh 60.2 KG. I have been dreading this. I am heartbroken.

I know its my own fault. The past few weeks I've stopped recording what I ate (versus when I would religiously record everything in a page-a-day diary). I haven't planned my meals in over two weeks. I hate myself for this. I have just been so tired lately that I don't have the time or energy to plan. I thought I had taken on a somewhat "*healthy*" attitude to food by **NOT** obsessively planning, and just eating frequent, balanced meals as recommended by my dietitian, who had assured me I **WOULD'NT** gain weight by doing this.... but lo and behold, here I sit, at my highest weight in about three years.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I had typed out what I was originally going to post here, then just before I was about to post, I updated my flair - and had to start my post over. The original text was decidedly more positive, but now... I don't know. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. Everything is against me... I'm on meds to deliberately make me retain salt/water, I have osteopenia and joint stiffness so any sort of exercise is a huge challenge, and just... aghh!

Sorry for being such a Negative Nicola guys, I just had to vent. Thanks for listening... even if you didn't ;) x

---

[Help] Relatives are making it hard to refuse food, help!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 28 06:19:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lflg3/relatives_are_making_it_hard_to_refuse_food_help/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Got the house to myself so that means I can fast.
/u/sarahPenguin [5'6"| 185lbs | MtF]
Created: Sat May 28 01:58:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lez90/got_the_house_to_myself_so_that_means_i_can_fast/
---
There is going to only be one other person home for the next two weeks and he is hardly ever here so I am planning to do several 2 day fasts but to go longer if I can. Mostly posting to keep myself accountable but others are free to join me. From the time I post this I'll be having nothing but water, tea and diet soda for the next two days.

---

[Tip] PSA: Check your floors!
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 28 00:42:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lesx1/psa_check_your_floors/
---
I was weighing myself this morning in my en suite, noticed my weight has been eratic over the last few weeks...

Well I moved my scale around the room for a more accurate reading and every single space was different, with a **15lb** range on the readings...

Panic ensued. Moved the scale to my main bathroom, weighed my self in different places around the floor and got a consistent reading... 3lbs heavier than I had previously thought.

I feel like a pig.

---

[Discussion] Question about motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 27 21:06:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4le6hj/question_about_motivation/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] [Staying Strong On] Saturday
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 27 20:57:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4le56h/staying_strong_on_saturday/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] My new scale arrived today <3
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri May 27 20:30:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4le1so/my_new_scale_arrived_today_3/
---
I got [this one](http://www.amazon.com/NewlineNY-Smallest-Travel-Bathroom-Protection/dp/B00HQS527K/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1464401964&sr=8-3&keywords=newline+ny+scale) from Amazon. I really like it, it's itty bitty and comes with a neoprene case for storage and transport! My only quarrel is that it uses button cell batteries, which are more expensive to replace. Worth it for the size, though. Perfect to hide in my closet...

---

[Discussion] When beginning a 24hr fast...
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 27 19:35:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ldv0r/when_beginning_a_24hr_fast/
---
what time do you lovelies usually start?

---

[Other] So I went to the beach today.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 27 18:26:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ldm15/so_i_went_to_the_beach_today/
---
My body perception on the beach today is a whole other post. For now, one question: does sunburn burn (lol @ unintentional pun) calories because your skin is working in overdrive to heal? Because maybe then I'll burn off the 2 beers and 6 fried oreos I ate today lololol............ :'D

---

[Help] I love my mom but I don't want to visit her. I fucked up again.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Fri May 27 18:17:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ldkwc/i_love_my_mom_but_i_dont_want_to_visit_her_i/
---
Every time i visit my moms house i binge eat to no end. i don't know why but i cannot control it. I wait until nobody is watching and i sneak food like when i was a chubby little girl. I have gained 10lbs in the past two weeks from visiting her and spending the night. I have a god damn photo shoot tomorrow and i am going to look like a bloated cow. I wasn't even skinny to begin with. I don't know what to do...

---

[Help] Has anyone here lost >100 lbs/45kg? When does the skin stop looking so hideous?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Fri May 27 16:41:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ld7wx/has_anyone_here_lost_100_lbs45kg_when_does_the/
---
I've lost about 90 lbs total....gained 60 of it back and now it's gone again so I'm back at -90. I look even worse than I did last year at this weight because I've been losing 10-11 lbs a month for 6 months.... Last time the loss was slower. My body was still an abomination, but not as bad as now... My pannis sags and wrinkles. I have so much flab on my arms that they literally look obese if I raise them. I am afraid of what I will look like in even a month or 2..... The least I've ever weighed as an adult was 128 and I'm at 133 now....

It's so hard to celebrate being this close when my body looks like a lumpy, mushy sack of crap.

How long did it take for your skin to look more normal? How old were you when you lost the weight?

Thanks...

---

[Thinspo] Reverse thinspo. Don't bother reading it, the reactions in the pictures say enough.
/u/paradisedeparted [5'3" | 108.2 | 19.70 | -20.8 | F]
Created: Fri May 27 16:07:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ld3bv/reverse_thinspo_dont_bother_reading_it_the/
---
https://m.mic.com/articles/104030/here-s-what-it-feels-like-to-be-fat-in-public-in-america?utm_source=teenvogue&utm_med#.PJKQsJKVq

---

[Rant/Rave] I don't want to break my fast
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Fri May 27 14:27:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lcnii/i_dont_want_to_break_my_fast/
---
But I really want the Reese's Pieces that I know are in the cabinet.

I'm on hour 42 of what I hope will be a 60 hour fast. I'm not even hungry, but I really want that fucking candy. Today was stressful and I just wanna sit on my couch and eat the entire 15 oz bag. Ugh.

On a side note, it's been awhile since I've done a longish fast. I can't decide how I feel. I don't feel bad. Or hungry. But I don't really feel good either. I just feel...kinda normal, I guess?

---

[Discussion] Ramadan anyone?
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 128.0 lbs | 26.5 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 27 12:33:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lc52r/ramadan_anyone/
---
Hey guys!

I was just wondering if anyone else is Muslim and practicing Ramadan.

For anyone who doesn't know, Ramadan is when Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset. I personally love it cause it's such a great way of bettering your self-control.

I know I'm going to love this one because I'm pretty sure I can get away with not breaking my fast at least 3 days a week (still eating at sunrise since we do that as a family) and it becomes 10x more socially acceptable to not eat during the day.

---

[Help] Low calorie fruits and berries?
/u/downtownhomebound
Created: Fri May 27 11:43:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lbwm0/low_calorie_fruits_and_berries/
---
Hello. I've been a pretty avid lurker on this sub, but this is my first actual post! One of the big problems I have is eating small portions. My family has always been a family that makes a lot of food on the table during meals, which means that I now do that, too; And it is so hard trying to keep from eating large portions when the food is right there! So, I was just wondering if any of you knew of any low calorie fruits or berries. I know that 100 calories of strawberries is quite a big portion, so I think this will really help me out. When I was restricting (more than I am now) I remember how when I binged it was just because the food was there, and if there is a low calorie option that I can binge on instead I might not have 1000+ calorie binges like I used to (UGH). Sorry for the text being so long and kind of oversharing, but thanks for the help!

---

[Thinspo] Some of my current thinspo favorites
/u/tinybites [5'6" | 166 | 26.79 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri May 27 11:03:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lbpgl/some_of_my_current_thinspo_favorites/
---
http://imgur.com/a/DIMyp

---

[Help] How to break the binging cycle?
/u/Ikosnyg55 [5'9" | 137.2lbs | 19.87 | 25.8lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 27 10:43:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lbm3a/how_to_break_the_binging_cycle/
---
I have been nonstop binging for the past week and I feel absolutely disgusting. I can't seem to get out of it. Right now all I want is to eat a shit ton of ice cream and burgers and fries.... :( what should I do??

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[Rant/Rave] The Vacationers
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | 21.2 | -30lb | M]
Created: Fri May 27 10:17:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lbhlo/the_vacationers/
---
My family went to stay at this place right across the road from a (private) art school, and there are so many skinny, high cheekboned rich kids that I don't even want to look at food.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri May 27 10:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lbexc/daily_food_diary_may_27_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] EC stack questions?
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 27 09:30:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lb9gb/ec_stack_questions/
---
So I bought Ephedrine 8mg and the caffeine pills...
A few questions:

• Is Tylenol 1s okay to take with them? (currently enduring some major back pain)
• Can I still take all my vitamins? (fish oil, vitamin D, vitamin B, multivitamin etc.)
• Does anyone know if an antipsychotic (seroquel) is okay to mix together?

one thing I did find out is that it's okay to mix with green tea pills... a lot of caffeine though I'd think.

---

[Help] Question about "tea-tox" night laxatives...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 27 09:10:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lb642/question_about_teatox_night_laxatives/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] My new scale is pretty thinspirational
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 27 09:03:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lb4x2/my_new_scale_is_pretty_thinspirational/
---
http://imgur.com/NUmwGy5

---

[Rant/Rave] Upset because I binged...so I eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 27 08:38:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lb0jm/upset_because_i_bingedso_i_eat/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] My new favorite hobby when I feel a binge coming!
/u/tinybites [5'6" | 166 | 26.79 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri May 27 08:10:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4law8w/my_new_favorite_hobby_when_i_feel_a_binge_coming/
---
I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I've become obsessed with pinning cute outfits on pinterest to motivate me. I've helped me for about a month now from binging. I just imagine how amazing these outfits would look on a thin frame and it makes me so determined to lose weight it's crazy.

[here are some outfits that I really love](http://imgur.com/a/QEsr0)

---

[Goal] My knees don't touch :)
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 113| 21.41| F]
Created: Fri May 27 08:03:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lav62/my_knees_dont_touch/
---
My boyfriend was the one that pointed it out to me. My thighs are still huge but at least I got that going for me :)

I tried to get a picture but it was too hard on my phone.

---

[Thinspo] Male model thinspo
/u/_saisonenenfer [175cm | not thin :( | M]
Created: Fri May 27 08:01:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lauvu/male_model_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/fh0OzgB.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] Here we go again...
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 118.4 | 20.72 | -41lbs. | F]
Created: Fri May 27 07:20:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4laou6/here_we_go_again/
---
Hey everyone! I haven't been on in a while. Things have been going well as far as ED is concerned. I was content with my weight fluctuating between 119-124 lbs. I even got off the EC stack. But lately, I've been feeling fatter, even though my weight isn't changing. Then, a friend of mine who makes clothes asked me to model them for her website. It was such a compliment, but it also kind of triggered me into restricting again. I've taken the EC stack the last couple of days and would really like to get below 115 lbs. It's so weird how my stupid ED brain works. Anyway, just wanted to let you guys know I'm here. Thanks for the support.

---

[Other] I binged for three days and LOST weight???
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 27 06:52:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4lal4b/i_binged_for_three_days_and_lost_weight/
---
https://media2.giphy.com/media/nZHwqbyJCuIiA/giphy.gif

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! May 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri May 27 06:03:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4laew9/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_may_27_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for May 27, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] Progress Lost
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'6 | CW 135 GW 113 |21.88 | -21lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 27 05:09:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4la99n/progress_lost/
---
I have been lurking for a while but decided to take the plunge and set up an account. So I guess this is an intro and a rant/rave.

I have had an OSFED for several years and I felt like it was taking over my life. But I just got back from travelling with my SO for 4 months and it was brilliant. I wasn't able to weigh myself for 4 months. I was really active, and I hated most of the food available, plus there was limited choice. So it felt like for the first time ever I could stop worrying as much about what I was eating and focus on having a good time.

I came home having lost weight and feeling like I had a 'normal' attitude to food for the first time in years. But since then I have slipped back into old habits. I have weighed myself daily (multiple times a day), gone back to calorie counting and restricting. Have managed to avoid b/p so far.

My head is fucked because I am losing weight which is what I want because I am huge at the moment, but I feel really low because for a short time I was free of all this worry and self hate.

---

[Help] Going to be alone for a month, how to make the most out of it?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Fri May 27 03:57:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4la2co/going_to_be_alone_for_a_month_how_to_make_the/
---
I am **not** looking for get thin quick tip! I spend a lot of time here even when I'm not in the mood to post or comment, I know there is no trick just hard work. And by alone, I mean no BF, I still live with tons of people. I *might* have my own fridge by then! Trying to get the cash for it, getting close :D

My ideas so far:

* Pre-make dinners (oatmeal and yogurt for breakfast/lunch) and label them with calories and thinspo quotes (IF I have my own fridge)

* Make sure I have 0 money so I can't binge (Extra money, BF and I have food stamps right now plan to pre-buy some non perishables to help out our first few months off it)

* Need food? Walk to the store.

* Fast (With a timer set! My new fav thing) as much as I can.

* Walk every day.

* EC stack every day (I need it for asthma anyway... So the E part is necessary any day I walk a lot)

Ideas/Tips I would like:

* Quick and/or quiet exercises I can do in my **TINY** room. It's my desk, a mat on the floor as a bed, and shelves, low ceiling.

* App suggestions (I use a water tracker, and a calorie tracker)

* How to not like die of loneliness

* Your fav thinspo quotes and/or ideas on where to find quotes

* Good phone backgrounds since I won't have anyone looking at my phone

/End

PS sorry for posting twice tonight, I missed you guys <3

---

[Rant/Rave] Been bingeing like f-ing crazy for a month, only gained 3 lb and I don't think they're all real pounds!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 27 02:19:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l9tqr/been_bingeing_like_fing_crazy_for_a_month_only/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Starting the ABC and will be taking measurements. What should I measure?
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Fri May 27 00:53:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l9ll5/starting_the_abc_and_will_be_taking_measurements/
---
Around bellybutton (waist), hips, what else?

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[Other] This is CRAZY
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri May 27 00:51:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l9leh/this_is_crazy/
---
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhis/earlyrelease/earlyrelease201605_06.pdf

---

[Discussion] Songs you've been listening to feel good?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:110/UGW:85 | BMI:22.6 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Fri May 27 00:47:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l9l00/songs_youve_been_listening_to_feel_good/
---
I've been nonstop playing Anamanaguchi's "Prom Night," "Meow," and "Endless Fantasy," since I saw them open up a Hatsune Miku concert.

Just been in the mood for some new songs to keep me motivated and cheery.

---

[Other] [Other] just completed my first 24 hour fast!
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Fri May 27 00:25:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l9iud/other_just_completed_my_first_24_hour_fast/
---
Sorry that the flair isn't working properly, im posting this from mobile.
Anyway I posted a day or two ago about struggling to stay on track with fasting but as of this morning I haven't eaten anything since Wednesday afternoon! Honestly It feels pretty fucked up to brag about that but it's an achievement in some sense. Survived on black tea, diet coke and water all day and I was barely even hungry :) today I'm gonna aim for 500-600 cals at most - I'd fast again but I'm wary about going into starvation mode or something and slowing down my metabolism. Currently sipping on some warm lemon tea to help me be ready for the day, here's to hoping I can keep this up !!!!!

---

[Discussion] Let's talk about ciggs.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 26 22:59:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l99lw/lets_talk_about_ciggs/
---
Ugh, I'm a feign for health. I'm a lunatic about my vitamins and water intake. Hair health, skin health. Muscles, exercise. "Skinny fit" is what I strive for. Alertness and energy with minimal calories and maximum nutrients is the name of my game.

But then I smoke a cigg to and from the gym.

I only buy packs for "events". Such as a dubstep show or memorial day weekend, but then I smoke the excess the rest of the week. When it's gone, I might not buy another pack for 2,3,4 weeks or months. It's just like...........................ew.

I hate the way I smell, I hate the way it tastes, I hate the way I feel, I get severe anxiety over the skin around my mouth wrinkling or ya know...lung cancer. But I still light up.

So annoying idk.

Anyone hypocritical with health v ciggs? I smoked weed daily for 3 years up until 3 weeks ago due to a new job (feels great to be sober admittedly). I drink ONCE in a while (and get the same health anxieties but not as severe). Ciggs just seem so awful to me.

---

[Other] Where you gonna be when the laxatives kick in?
/u/whyhelloothere [163cm| 48kg| 18.4| -16 kg| F]
Created: Thu May 26 21:36:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l8zr8/where_you_gonna_be_when_the_laxatives_kick_in/
---
Unfortunately for me its not the toilet. Must.contain.my.shit.

Sorry for the shitpost, haha.

---

[Other] I told my SO everything...
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 96 | 16.1 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 21:28:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l8yr0/i_told_my_so_everything/
---
(Obligatory wall-of-text apology.)

... And he was so understanding and supportive. He already knew a bit about eating disorders and knew I was sick with one. He also said he's been really concerned and that I've been looking absolutely dead lately. I didn't believe him until last weekend... We went out to a show with friends, and had some photos taken of us. I looked grey in the photos. We're an interracial couple, he's fullblood Choctaw Native American- his skin is a beautiful reddish brown. I'm half white half Mexican, my skin is more of a yellowish peach, usually. So I'm always washed out in comparison to him. But compared to his white friends... I was grey. And my eyes were flat. There wasn't any brightness to them in the photos.

He said if I wanted to kill myself there were faster ways. And he hated seeing me so sick and weak. At the show I had to go to my car for about an hour and nap (it was an all day event, lasting from noon to midnight- I went to my car around 5pm for a nap because I was so tired.) I told him I didn't want to die, that I wanted to be there for him. He told me that he wanted me to be his bad ass Wasteland girlfriend (we love the Mad Max saga, driving on dirt roads, and go hiking and camping often.) He said: 'Even if you don't want to get better for yourself, do it for me. I'm hurting from this too. I don't like seeing you too tired to move because you haven't eaten.' I told him that I'm not ready to gain weight but I'll stop losing because I've been feeling sicker and sicker lately. I had to quit my job- no energy to do it. I was exhausted just walking from the parking lot to the store (it was in a mall.) I checked both our pulses because his felt so fast compared to mine... His pulse was 72 beats per minute. Completely normal. Mine is 44 beats per minute. I do exercise a lot but that's still too slow to be dismissed. He told me to get help ASAP. I cried like a big baby through the whole conversation and he just held me tight and kissed me.

So today I told my mom. She said she was waiting for me to either 'fess up and ask for help or collapse and have to be admitted. She gave me the business card of a therapist she works with (she does physical therapy at a rehab facility and the therapist she works with is a drug abuse and eating disorders therapist.) I called him and will hopefully be seeing him soon. When my dad got home from work my mom told him, and they talked for a bit. I'm so scared. I don't want to gain weight. But I know I can't continue what I'm doing. I honestly feel like I'm about to die. And it doesn't help that the voice of Anorexia keeps telling me to 'Just lose 5 more lbs. You'll be perfect if you weighed 5lbs less.' But that voice started 3 years and 40lbs ago and I'm still not perfect.

I don't feel like I have a problem. I feel like such a fake. But I can tell my body is shutting down and it's painfully obvious to everyone. So as scared as I am to admit I need help and realize I have a problem, I know I need to do it. Not just for myself but for my SO. I hate knowing I'm hurting him.

I'm gonna try to get better on my own without being admitted to a lard clinic and force- fattened. I've always been independent and like doing things on my own terms. Wish me luck, guys.

Stay safe and stay strong, and don't let anyone bring you down or force you into recovery before you're ready.

---

[Discussion] does anyone else order things they don't like at restaurants to avoid eating?
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 21:12:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l8woi/does_anyone_else_order_things_they_dont_like_at/
---
i always do this because i have zero self control when eating out with family/friends, and sometimes there's those meals you just can't get out of. anyways, it helps me not eat much cause what i got is so gross. am i the only one who does this? does anyone else have tricks like this that help you get by?

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[Discussion] Inpatient/residential treatment - what do you wish you had taken with you - x-posted several places
/u/udon0tnome [5'2 | 130lbs | 24.63 | -32lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 26 20:38:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l8trr/inpatientresidential_treatment_what_do_you_wish/
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For anyone who has done inpatient or residential treatment, what is one thing that you were allowed to have, but you didn't take and you wish you had, and/or one thing you took that you are really glad you had.

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[Thinspo] [thinspo] pre-pool tummy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 19:19:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l8jkw/thinspo_prepool_tummy/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/37521853403141bcb6b552d4b0c9126f?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c9e9a8a380e85ba42cb429319203e668

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[Help] bulimia probs (can anyone help me stop this?)
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.30 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 26 19:04:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l8hox/bulimia_probs_can_anyone_help_me_stop_this/
---
I purged so hard my stomach feels like it's cramping. I'm drinking some warm peppermint tea which is helping a little bit, but not very much. Does anyone know how to ease the pain a little?

Also, can anyone give me some advice on how to resist b/p around my period? Whenever I feel it coming up I start b/p-ing like nuts and can't stop myself. Every single time I break the cycle, my period starts up again and I fall back into it.

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[Other] curiosity about self image?
/u/reticentism
Created: Thu May 26 18:41:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l8eec/curiosity_about_self_image/
---
So it goes without saying that if you're on this subreddit you don't have the best self esteem, but does anyone wonder just how far from the objective truth your self image is?
I currently am at a BMI of 20 but like there are days I think I look skinny and days I feel like I look disgusting, and I sometimes wonder if either of those is closer to the truth than the other? I wonder about how strangers see me-do they even notice me? Am I just that average-looking that no one sees me as thick or thin?
The same goes for everything about me though. Am I prettier than I think I am? Is my voice not as deep as I hear it, are my manners okay? When I say something I feel was really awkward or rude, did anyone really notice it? I feel like there's this giant uncertainty that comes with having these mental illnesses, and that just gives me even more anxiety.

---

[Discussion] How many of you are happy with your ED?
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 115 | 19.1 | -5.7 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 17:46:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l86y3/how_many_of_you_are_happy_with_your_ed/
---
Many of the people I know in real life who I have gently probed to get their opinion of eating disorders claim that pro-ana sites, and overly thin models, are all bad because they make 'recovery' seem bad, and EDs seem like they're glamorized.

It's hard for me to say that I dislike my eating disorder. If I weigh above a certain amount, I hate my fat-self, and get extreme anxiety all of the time. It does not seem unreasonable to me, to say, "You know, I would rather be underweight and happy with my body, than to gain weight because someone else thinks they know what is best for me."

Yes, there are health risks. But that's *my* choice to make, and I'm tired of people telling me that I'm a horrible person for not wanting to 'recover'.

---

[Discussion] Halo top
/u/namasteriteherr [4'11" | 111lbs | 23.81| -50| F]
Created: Thu May 26 17:26:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l8421/halo_top/
---
is it worth driving 15 miles out of my way to another grocery store for? I've heard a lot about it and was thinking about getting it but my closest wegmans is about 15 miles away.

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[Rant/Rave] Therapy Issues
/u/IvoryFlyaway [6' | 218.5 | 28.5 | -18.5 | M]
Created: Thu May 26 17:11:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l81yk/therapy_issues/
---
So I've been seeing a therapist for about 15 months for all my other issues, then I started my relapse a couple of weeks ago. She prescribed this workbook on body positivity and honestly, it just made things worse. At the beginning, it had me go through every stage of my life and write down the things that contributed to my body image issues. That brought up a lot of things that I had repressed. Then the next section instructed me to run my hands all over my body and be very mindful of every square inch of it. Needless to say, I have been hella restricting since and have not touched the book. She brings it up every time I see her and I'm just like "yepp, I'm totally working on it". Anyone else have experience with this? I don't know how to keep lying to my therapist.

Edit: For clarification, I am not seeking recovery for my ED. The problem is the fact that I do not want her help with this aspect of my life

---

[Help] Finals
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 16:40:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7xco/finals/
---
Hey /r/proed, long time no see.

I have finals coming up (ugh) and my restricting is going SUPER well. I'm honestly just scared that the stress is going to make me binge and place me right back on square one.

Any tips?

Matches x

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I'm a fucking mess right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 16:31:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7w0u/im_a_fucking_mess_right_now/
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[deleted]

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[Help] So I met someone, but I feel too fat and ugly to date.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 16:28:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7vjn/so_i_met_someone_but_i_feel_too_fat_and_ugly_to/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Fasted for 48 hours, I don't feel hungry at all and want to keep going. How long have you fasted for? How quickly did you see results?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 16:13:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7t41/fasted_for_48_hours_i_dont_feel_hungry_at_all_and/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Who was your thinspo when your ED first started? (Photos)
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Thu May 26 14:45:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7eu9/who_was_your_thinspo_when_your_ed_first_started/
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When I was between 12-13 is when mine started picking up, and really got bad at 14. I'm 26 now. Do you guys remember the movie She's All That? I was obsessed with the lead (Rachael Leigh Cook) and downloaded photos of her. I wanted to be dainty and lovely and as beautiful as her.

I just recently did a Google Image search of her and found the exact images that were my thinspo from so many years ago. I love looking at them, as weird as that may seem. I still want to look just like this. These are them: http://imgur.com/a/UAS99

Who was your thinspo when you were younger and, are they still your thinspo? Photos encouraged!

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[Rant/Rave] why does alcohol have to have calories
/u/crapbeg
Created: Thu May 26 14:32:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7clc/why_does_alcohol_have_to_have_calories/
---
vodka looks like water. vodka tastes worse than water. so why does it unnecessarily have so many calories??

I don't want to let my weird ass eating habits ruin my social life completely so I'm not going to stop drinking just yet. But my life would be so much better if alcohol had no calories.

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[Discussion] Ugh pain meds.
/u/36bulletking63
Created: Thu May 26 14:26:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7bn0/ugh_pain_meds/
---
So after my surgery i got prescribed hydrocodone for the pain and taking those without eating has made me throw up multiple times

When the pain hits me i want to take medicine. It hasnt ended up well yet for me id almost rather deal with the pain

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[Thinspo] Reverse thinspo during binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 14:25:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7bdi/reverse_thinspo_during_binge/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] fuck this weight, and fuck this plateau purgatory
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 26 14:23:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7b3z/fuck_this_weight_and_fuck_this_plateau_purgatory/
---
I'm getting real fucking sick of this 112lbs/113lbs holding pattern. On one hand, hurrah I'm not gaining, on the other hand, WTF do I have to do to reach 110lbs?!?!?!

Its not like I'm even going to look that much different at 110lbs, I just want to reach that weight for the satisfaction that I did it, and so I have a 5lbs buffer from my danger zone.

Maybe I'm just impatient. But its like, the longer this takes, the more I fuck up and binge because I panic and lose hope.

Guh, according to losertown, it should take me 6 weeks to reach 110lbs. UUUGGGHH 6 weeks to lose 2-3 miserably pounds.

Could I do it faster by cutting my calories to 800? Yeah, but I need this shit to be sustainable; I know that on 800 or less a day I *will* binge my fucking face off the first chance I get (MIL drops by with dinner, babyman's first birthday party, July 4th weekend, husband makes my favorite dinner, work friend takes me out for lunch, etc).

I also need that minimum 1200 cal for boob milk.

Maybe I'll try sticking to 1200. If I start today, I *could* reach 110lbs in two weeks. but fuck me if 1200 isn't hard to do, especially when I come home to a dinner my husband already made. It would essentially require me to fast during the day which I've done before (intermittent fasting), but I was younger, hopped up on stimulants, and my job was less mentally demanding.

What am I even doing this for? I'm thin, right? but there is always that voice that says, *'yeah, but you could be thinner.'* And so I listen, because fuck common sense, right? just keep going until....???? who knows.

---

[Help] I just binged for a week.
/u/brokenCosmos [5'7" | fat as hell | - 20 | GW: 99 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 14:18:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l7a1m/i_just_binged_for_a_week/
---
I started my binge on Friday with 1,600 cals, then about 8,000 cals total over the weekend, and I've had 2,000 calories a day Monday through today.

TL;DR: I'm a pig.

Can someone give me tips to stop binging and/or comment some meanspo? Thanks.

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[Help] Appetite suppressants I can actually buy as someone under 18...?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 14:04:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l77kc/appetite_suppressants_i_can_actually_buy_as/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Surprise Keyhole!
/u/space0ddity [5'1 | 128.7 | 25.40 | -17.3 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 13:59:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l76mg/surprise_keyhole/
---
I guess my anxiety meds are working because I've been feeling brave enough to participate in social media again recently.

In about a month my family taking a trip the the beach for my daughter & I've been using the Blogilates app to tighten up since having my second daughter 2 months ago. Well last night while trying on my swimsuit I was facing the mirror in the bathroom & my unmade bed was behind me when I noticed a little gap of white peeking through just under my crotch! I wouldn't have noticed if my bed was made with my mostly black comforter!

So hooray to messy beds and the beginning of a thigh gap! Plus my husband has been going crazy over my body & me getting myself back in shape. He just works all day most days & doesn't see what it really takes. Lucky for me.

Good vibes ya'll.
On mobile will flare from laptop soon

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[Help] Can't lose a pound lately. HELP!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 13:54:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l75sa/cant_lose_a_pound_lately_help/
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[removed]

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"My boyfriend wants to go on a diet"
/u/Infinite_cats
Created: Thu May 26 13:13:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l6yji/my_boyfriend_wants_to_go_on_a_diet/
---
[removed]

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[28/M/5'6/90lbs] Trying to gain, been shoving food into my facehole, completely unsure how my body looks; am I skinny?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 13:05:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l6wzo/28m5690lbs_trying_to_gain_been_shoving_food_into/
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http://i1161.photobucket.com/albums/q514/biorobotics/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_20160524_221137_zps5cvlfvsb.jpg

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[Discussion] Can we talk about people that don't have food issues hanging out here?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Thu May 26 12:54:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l6uzg/can_we_talk_about_people_that_dont_have_food/
---
There was a comment in another thread where someone was mentioning that they don't have an ED but like reading the posts here because of our views on food. I won't link or quote the comment because A) I don't want to risk upsetting anyone and B) I'm not looking to shit on the person who made it. But it bothered me and honestly the more I think about it, the more it bothers me.

Fetishing the stereotypical anorexic body is one thing (and a whole other issue), but I guess it didn't occur to me that there are also people who find something....honorable? brave? inspiring?...about the ED mindset. Anyone else feel like that's fucked up on a dozen levels?

I really mostly just want to see what other people think. I don't know that there's much to be done about it and I like the inclusivity here that doesn't require anyone to feel like they have to prove they have an ED. But if you legitimately have a healthy relationship with food, and like to participate in this sub as some form of entertainment or inspiration, I'm giving you serious side-eye.

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[Rant/Rave] "You look modelesque" a friend says to me and I promptly start to binge eat. Gain 5lbs in a week.
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 11:03:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l6bs7/you_look_modelesque_a_friend_says_to_me_and_i/
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Since lost it all, but made me wonder...

Does anyone else self-sabotage after a particularly nice compliment?
Is it just my messed-up personality?

I hate people commenting on my body positively or otherwise. Makes me sick and their comments stick in my head playing on repeat for months. It's like I have a catalogue of compliments/insults about my body in my head I'm flipping through daily. From my sister's "you're a stick" and "you look like a ghost" comments to "Woah you're skinnier than me now" from my skinniest friend...I got voices in my head! Mental illness indeed.

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NonononoononoNO
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 10:56:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l6af9/nonononoononono/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] NonononoononoNO
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu May 26 10:56:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l6af8/nonononoononono/
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Why do you leave chips for me when you leave the house?! God damn it, can't you see that I'm fat enough already?!

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[Other] How I feel having sex in any position (Xpost r/reallifedoodles)
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 112.8lbs | 16.9 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 26 10:44:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l68iq/how_i_feel_having_sex_in_any_position_xpost/
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https://gfycat.com/AgedSoggyDodobird

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu May 26 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l60ws/daily_food_diary_may_26_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] What is ordered eating even anyway?
/u/Skinnybabyshh [5'4" | 95 (GW 110) | 16.63 | -100 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 09:57:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l5zxq/what_is_ordered_eating_even_anyway/
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I honestly cant think of an example of a day where someone's eating is *ordered*... I mean, how would that be? What is normal eating behaviour? Do you know someone with perfect eating habits?

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[Discussion] Fast as i can !
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Thu May 26 09:37:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l5wgp/fast_as_i_can/
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Yo doing 15 days of intermittent fasting - two weeks because im insecure about my body before my boyfriend comes back. Friday fast, wednesday water fast. Every other day is 23 hours in which i allot time for nourishment. That time is 7 or 2pm if i cant handle it (then i consume soluable sugars and vitamins etc)
So, any advice for long duration more-extreme fasting? In the days leading up to June 10th what should i do to revitalize ? I am practiced in week duration fasts and this is too xtreme to post on fasting subs..

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[Help] Coming out of a fast/restriction to maintain LW? WARNING: Gigantic rant preceeding actual question.
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 112.8lbs | 16.9 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 26 09:30:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l5v05/coming_out_of_a_fastrestriction_to_maintain_lw/
---
This week I have averaged 650kcal a day, with one fast day. This wasn't even intentional, but I've had the shittiest week and a half ever which includes breaking up with my live in boyfriend, failing uni for the second time (I know I am such a fucking idiot), old FWB popping up after no contact for 2 years to tell me he used to be in love with me and wants to be with me, having no job for the second month running, not being able to make rent and having to put down a deposit on my next place OH AND dealing with my mother's monthly intense emotional break down about her divorce and how I have always taken her for granted and always loved my father more than her and wasn't there for her when she was suicidal and y problems aint shit compared to hers **AND BREATHE**.

Oh, ^and ^I've ^run ^out ^of ^my ^anti-depressants ^^but ^^can't ^^face ^^the ^^^outside ^^^world ^^^to ^^^go ^^^get ^^^^more

**Anyway** I wasn't intending this to be a rant :,)

My point is, I hit *110.4lbs* this morning which is my lowest adult weight ever by 2lbs *happy dance*

According to my BMR and TDEE I should be able to still eat 1000 calories and still lose....yeah that surely aint right.
I'm guessing I need to slowly increase calorie intake?

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[Rant/Rave] Unexpected trigger, a reverse thinspo trainwreck I can't look away from:
/u/musemusings [5'9" | 139.6 | 20.24 | -18.6]
Created: Thu May 26 09:11:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l5rnm/unexpected_trigger_a_reverse_thinspo_trainwreck_i/
---
I recently started working with this Tumblrina at a new restaurant. She isn't huge, but she's big enough to be my reverse. She tries really hard to be personable and cool, but she's just so disgusting.


First of all, (prepare yourselves) she eats off of every table's plates. Untouched fries? Into the gob. Hash brown with a bite taken out of it? Why not? Even foods like casseroles aren't off limits. It's literally the most disgusting thing, and she thinks it's hilarious that it grosses people out. The thing is, it's really fucking with me. I'm morbidly fascinated, yet disturbed by her eating patterns. Every day before work, she orders food, and our portions aren't tiny, so she can't possibly be hungry.


Further, she obviously is trying to look nice every day, and she tries to be personable, but all I see when I look at her is a garbage disposal. She displays negative amounts of will power (3 smoke breaks in 1 hour? Blech), and seems to lack any pride in herself.


The other day, a coworker made me a double espresso and she asked for a sip. I straight told her that I couldn't afford the medicine if she got me sick with hep C. She completely flipped her shit on me, but I don't care. I'd rather be a bitch than a prole.


The thing is, I can't stop thinking about her. Every time she eats garbage, it plays in my head over and over. It's really helping me keep control of what I'm eating, but it's also really fucking with my head in ways I can't explain.


Anyways, that's what's going on with me. I hope you all are doing fabulous. Xoxoxo

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[Rant/Rave] ugh I've been so bad lately
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Thu May 26 08:47:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l5nax/ugh_ive_been_so_bad_lately/
---
I failed 3/5 classes and am contemplating dropping out of college. I tried to do low carb to lose all this weight I've gained in the last 3 years, ended up restricting and as a dog walker I'm on my feet all day (literally from 8am-9pm) so that was no good. but now I'm just fed up. I keep binge eating and I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of being a fat cow.

I really want to try a liquid fast but it's so hard with all the access I have to fast food. (I pass like 12 different locations daily) my Fitbit has been helping me keep activity up, and i have been doing 7-min workouts but I just need to get my intake under control.

my friend recc'd this app "eat breathe thrive" that helps you learn if you're hungry or emotionally hungry and it's worked for the past day. I really hope it helps me. I'm so sick of this. I want to lose the 50lbs I've gained. ugh I hate myself

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[Intro] Introduction and weird motivation
/u/supremelyunamused [5'7" | 125 | 19.51 | -75 lb | F]
Created: Thu May 26 08:05:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l5gad/introduction_and_weird_motivation/
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Hello everyone! I've been lurking on here for a while and recent events have prompted me to full on jump back into this sub. I have lost a lot of weight over the last two years (over the 70 pound mark now woohoo!) and now literally every time I see my parents/grandparents they say something jokingly about how I'm anorexic or bulimic. A while ago I was offended like, guys, that's really terrible OF COURSE I don't have a disorder but then I.....developed a disorder.

My dad even made this comment like 'haha eat this and then go throw up in ur car why don't you' and I LITERALLY did that no less than 2 weeks ago at his house. Apparently my grandma is 'really concerned' but grandma...this isn't even my final form. I've been bingeing since last Thursday but I think I'm back on the restricting train now b/c of that because if I'm going to be getting shit for an ED I'm at least going to be underweight lol

---

[Discussion] My ED and how intensely active I am in the Gender Equality movement really conflict with each other.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 07:50:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l5dwt/my_ed_and_how_intensely_active_i_am_in_the_gender/
---
To start out, anybody who knows me would call me a "feminist"
Nothing wrong with the term, I just prefer "in favor of gender equality"

Anyway. I'm so so so passionate about how society has molded women into believing that they live and breathe to serve men. Whether this be through looking (what society perceives as) attractive, fitting into gender roles, or even how many people/if any people they have sex with, because a man may not be interested in them if not.

Now, saying that, I am somebody who, for the most part, fits into female gender roles. I like to wear makeup, shave, be feminine, and I don't mind at all when my boyfriend takes a more dominant role in our relationship, because I know he respects me as his equal. And of course, this is 100% okay and my right. I'm just as truly "feminist" as the next girl who shaves her head, grows out her arm pit hair,, and prefers to hold a door open herself.

I am just VERY passionate about fighting for anyone's right to be different than the box that I live in.

So how this has to do with my ED:

I HATE that I preach body positive/self loving/fuck society if they don't think you're beautiful. But here I am. Deathly afraid to be fat and unwanted, even if I never want ANYONE else to feel that way. I always preach "STRIVE FOR HEALTHY" not skinny, curvy, fat, whatever. Just be the healthiest YOU, and that is beautiful. But here I am, living on a bowl of cereal a day. How can I feel so strongly about other people loving themselves, and not have any of that love left for myself?

It sucks. I have so many girls tell me that I'm an inspiration to them, that they've stood up for themselves more, that they don't "slut shame" or judge other women.. all because of me.

And I'm a sham.

Sorry for the rant guys. This has just been such an internal struggle for me lately.

Do any of you somewhat feel the same?

---

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support May 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu May 26 06:02:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l4yby/weekly_emotional_support_may_26_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Help] 5kg in a month?
/u/Crucifyyourmind
Created: Thu May 26 04:28:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l4o2y/5kg_in_a_month/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Holy Mother of Pearl!!!!
/u/namasteriteherr [4'11" | 111lbs | 23.81| -50| F]
Created: Thu May 26 04:22:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l4nk7/holy_mother_of_pearl/
---
I had a bad day (binged all morning) at the beginning of yesterday I responded to a post here and got motivated I worked out for about two hours burned 1500 calories and got really REALLY SWEATY. Went home and went to bed figuring I would just accept defeat that I would be bloated and gross today. NOPE in fact I got on the scale today and saw I lost weight in fact I've just hit 50 lbs lost!!!! Now let's hope I continue and don't fall back like I always do. HERES TO TODAY PEOPLE MAKE IT A GOOD ONE!!!

---

[Other] I think I've been spending too much time here
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Thu May 26 04:12:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l4ml9/i_think_ive_been_spending_too_much_time_here/
---
I was browsing reddit on my main account and saw that someone in r/loseit wanted to do a no food fast in June. And it had, like, 85 upvotes! I was stunned.

I clicked to see how all these people thought they could not eat for a whole month, only to discover it read 'fast food' not 'no food'. Ha!

Happy Thursday loves!

---

[Tip] An appetite suppressant that actually works on me! Oh joy!
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Thu May 26 01:37:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l48b2/an_appetite_suppressant_that_actually_works_on_me/
---
So I have tried almost everything to keep my appetite under control. But a friend of mine let me in on what has worked for her. I started taking Garcinia. I take two a day, each with a cup of coffee. Oh thank God! No appetite. It has made restricting so much easier for me. I thought I would share.

---

It's one of those days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 26 01:15:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l461y/its_one_of_those_days/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] What are your favorite things to drink?
/u/Myuuji [169 | 53.4 | 18.70 | F]
Created: Thu May 26 00:47:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l4368/what_are_your_favorite_things_to_drink/
---
I love green tea, and drink it everyday but I'm getting a little bored with it. What else could I be drinking?

---

[Rant/Rave] Unplanned food
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 95 lb | 19.54 | -32 lb | FTM]
Created: Wed May 25 23:35:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l3vkc/unplanned_food/
---
I'm sorry that so many of my contributions to this sub are rants lmao, but this week of ridiculous food is killing me. I had a birthday thing on Sunday, but then we had a special dinner Tuesday and yesterday because apparently birthdays are meant to be celebrated *three days in a row*, and my mother won't stop buying food even when we have much more than necessary in the house, and I haven't had time to exercise at all, and my s/o made me lunch that I tried really hard to refuse and they wouldn't let me, and my mother keeps forcing me to eat more than I want, and even with me giving away as much of the food in the house as possible there's just *too much of it* because everyone seems to want to give me chocolate and pastries and shit because happy fucking birthday, and I had to beg my parents to let me *not* go to a church barbeque, and...

If I don't make this a "fuck it" week I think I'll pass out from self-hatred, but I don't want to make this a "fuck it" week - dammit, I had a plan for this month and if it were up to me and only me I would have stuck to it, but everyone keeps. Forcing. Food. On. Me. And no matter how much I refuse or give away, there's too fucking much.

I apologize for the gratuitous cursing, I'm just very, very frustrated. On Sunday morning I woke up and I was finally starting to be able to see my ribs without sucking in, and now I think I'll be lucky if my stomach ever looks not-bloated in my life again. I'm almost glad that I don't have a scale now, I don't think I'd be able to deal with another number to all this.

---

[Help] SOS Bronkaid and Primatene NOT available in Canada?
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 25 22:49:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l3qcx/sos_bronkaid_and_primatene_not_available_in_canada/
---
So I'm currently standing in a Canadian "drug store" and the pharmacist informed me that you can't get Bronkaid or Primatene in Canada anymore. I asked for an alternative but he said there isn't any... what do you Canadians use for EC stacks?

---

SOS Bronkaid and Primatene now available in Canada?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 25 22:09:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l3ll1/sos_bronkaid_and_primatene_now_available_in_canada/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] My new goal, and a TMI NSV
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 25 20:26:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l37cw/my_new_goal_and_a_tmi_nsv/
---
First, the goal. TMI part to follow. ;)

I've talked before about how my husband has been across the country working his new job, while I stay behind and wait for him to close on our new house. As this is the first house we will own, my husband and I have talked about him carrying me across the threshold, adorable romance style.

I hope that when he picks me up to carry me across the threshold that I don't feel like a strain to him. I'm determined to lose a few more pounds before that happens so that the moment feels just romantic and I don't panic about being too heavy. The last time I visited he begged me not to lose more weight. He said that I'm his ideal type right now and that if I got any skinnier he would be unattracted to me. But I mean, a few more pounds can't hurt that much, right? The number is really important to me, and I can't start maintenance at 129 because then the scale will show 130s most days and that fucking blows.

Tell me I'm not crazy to try to lose 6 more lbs in the 3 weeks before I see him again?

Now the TMI NSV!

It's about sex.

We had sex standing up. He held me, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt small and light and not difficult for him to hold at all. It was amazing. That is all.

---

[Discussion] Hey everyone my surgery weant good!
/u/36bulletking63
Created: Wed May 25 20:12:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l35g8/hey_everyone_my_surgery_weant_good/
---
Earlier this week i was worried about anesthesia a lot. I want to say thank you to people who gave me advice because it helped me more than you know :)

Ive maintained my weight since friday and am ready to start losing again!!!!

---

[Rant/Rave] Thanks for the thinspo!
/u/JoMamaIsABadAss
Created: Wed May 25 18:55:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l2u6m/thanks_for_the_thinspo/
---
[removed]

---

[Help] I've become such a Debby downer since my relapse
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 25 18:10:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l2nwj/ive_become_such_a_debby_downer_since_my_relapse/
---
[deleted]

---

You can tell when Seattle had a 45 min power outage because of the dip in cals burned around noon!
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed May 25 16:56:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l2cvb/you_can_tell_when_seattle_had_a_45_min_power/
---
https://imgur.com/a/10WPO

---

[Discussion] Do you guys set fasting timers?
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Wed May 25 15:31:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l1zni/do_you_guys_set_fasting_timers/
---
So after binging (again) I decided I was going to fast until Saturday afternoon when I have a brunch.

I haven't been able to do long fasts lately as I need the food to run, but since I twinged my knee and am started to train for a half marathon next week, I decided to take the rest of the week off of running to rest.

So I set a timer to tell me when I can eat again. Currently it says 2 days, 19 hours, 31 minutes and 14 seconds.

Watching that time tick down feels pretty awesome. It's like a real concrete goal. I wish I'd done this sooner.

Actually I think it'd be pretty awesome to do it in reverse. Set a timer to count up from the last time I've eaten. So I could see how long I can go.

Just curious if anyone else does this.

---

[Thinspo] Recreating one of my favorite pictures
/u/Melusedek [173 | 58.9 | 19.45 | F]
Created: Wed May 25 14:56:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l1tw9/recreating_one_of_my_favorite_pictures/
---
http://imgur.com/a/qG4ht

---

[Help] What are EC stacks? Can someone please explain?
/u/yousimperlikeaduck
Created: Wed May 25 14:41:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l1rb4/what_are_ec_stacks_can_someone_please_explain/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l1rb4/what_are_ec_stacks_can_someone_please_explain/

---

[Rant/Rave] I FUCKING BINGED AGAIN I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF MYSELF
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed May 25 13:53:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l1j5q/i_fucking_binged_again_im_so_fucking_sick_of/
---
OK. I am ranting, seriously ranting. I've gained 8 pounds. I need to lose them and 20 more to get to my goal. WHY CAN'T I STOP STUFFING MY FAT FUCKING FACE???? Why do I get half way through the day and then eat a bunch of fucking candy?


I tell myself "that's OK just don't eat for the rest of the day and you'll still hit your calorie goal" and then 20 minutes later I eat two goddamn bagels back-to-back. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!? I feel like such a fat stupid disgusting weak loser.


I can see the fat piling on my stomach, I can feel it on my thighs and I want to launch myself into outer space and orbit the sun like the fucking ham planet that I am. All the days I spent cold and in a fog this winter, all the trouble I got in at work will be worth NOTHING if I don't stop gaining.


But I CANT FUCKING KEEP FOOD OUT OF MY BIG. FAT. MOUTH. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel hopeless.


I'm sorry y'all, I'm just beyond frustration.

---

[Rant/Rave] I HAVE TO STOP BINGING
/u/pineapplesandham [5'3 | 96 lbs | 17.6 | -10 lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 25 13:53:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l1j2g/i_have_to_stop_binging/
---
My mom's friend baked these pastries and holy fuck, they were so good! But now I'm regretting it - I had 2 and a half of them and they total to about 500-600 extra calories. This is on top of my usual 1200, and I don't know how I'm supposed to burn those calories off. I can't make myself purge; I've tried but I hate puking so much and I just can't do it.

Fuck fuck fuck. I don't want to gain the weight back. :(

---

[Goal] I'm starting a 7-14 day powdered food experiment tomorrow. Would anyone be interested in reading about my experience when I'm done?
/u/whiimsii
Created: Wed May 25 13:52:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l1ivz/im_starting_a_714_day_powdered_food_experiment/
---
I posted a few days ago that I was interested in eating the same thing everyday for a while.

Since that post, I impulse bought 14000 calories worth of Huel, which is supposed to last a normal person (on a 2000 cal diet) 1 week, but will probably last me more like 2 weeks... We'll see. I plan to eat this stuff exclusively by the way.

Btw, if you don't know what Huel is, it's a UK version of Soylent - a nutritionally complete powder which you can make into a shake and have instead of "real" food 🙂

Anyway I'm very excited to start eating (or drinking?) the stuff and once I've finished this batch I'd be more than happy to answer any questions about it. If anyone's interested at all, that is. I'd love to document my experience with it since I've never tried this type of thing before 😊.
I'll do my best to stick with it and *really* hope it helps because I'm feeling very desperate and out of it right now.

(If anyone cares to know why I'm so eager to feed exclusively on something that is essentially tasteless nutritional gloop... I'm in binge avoidance mode, which has been going rather crap I'd say. I'm experiencing a phase where I can only fast or binge with nothing in between, and am honestly feeling extremely overwhelmed by food at this moment. I'm hoping that by challenging myself to eat this nutritious, bland tasting shake stuff for a while, I will be able to keep my mind off food and break this crappy-ass binge cycle I'm stuck in).

---

[Other] A little encouragement for anyone whose day has not gone the way they would have liked <3
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed May 25 13:19:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l1d3a/a_little_encouragement_for_anyone_whose_day_has/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Eag4ACq.jpg

---

[Help] How do you cope when you get weakness and lack of energy/concentration?
/u/BadlyDrawnMoustache
Created: Wed May 25 12:33:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l14vj/how_do_you_cope_when_you_get_weakness_and_lack_of/
---
I used to be able to eat around 600 calories a day, and while I'd be tired and occasionally have the head rush/dizzy blackout feeling, I'd still be able to concentrate enough to do work to a good standard and even do some exercise.

Now, though, restricting makes it almost impossible for me to function normally even if it's just a day of trying to consume only around 600 calories. I can't concentrate on anything, and even trying to walk up stairs or something is too much for my body. And I'm not even underweight so there is plenty of excess flesh for my body to use for energy!

I don't feel hungry in my stomach, like I could go without eating psychologically if it wasn't for the fact that I can't function, I don't have cravings it's more that I eat extra in the same way I might take a pain killer if I had a bad headache. I know if I eat more and wait around 20 minutes I'll start to come back to life, but I seem to only feel okay physically if I eat 1500 calories or more, and I don't want to, I want to go back to how it was before! I'm not sure what changed!

So I was wondering if anyone has any tips on how to overcome this terrible lack of energy feeling, perhaps it is the kinds of foods I am eating (although I avoid sugary things to keep my blood sugar as level as possible etc) or the times at which I eat. Is there anyone else who had this issue and found a way to overcome it? Thank you!

---

[Discussion] Can we talk about like quotes?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 25 11:55:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l0xz6/can_we_talk_about_like_quotes/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] Mamma Chia is amazing
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Wed May 25 11:54:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l0xr5/mamma_chia_is_amazing/
---
I picked up some Mamma Chia Chia Squeeze packets when I was at Target today because they were on clearance and it's hard to find vegan snacks that are actually sweet.

OH MY GOD they are amazing. 70 calories for a little pack might seem like a much but I've been working on it for 30 minutes and it's still not done. I think the little chia seeds help as I'm sucking a few in at a time and chewing them. I'm definitely going to pick up more later! I'd rather have this than a rice cake and some peanut butter tbh

---

[Thinspo] Humpday Thinspo!
/u/somanybigbutts [|5'6 | 104.5|16.19|F|]
Created: Wed May 25 11:34:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l0u64/humpday_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/DUlr2

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[Other] I just gotta tell you all...
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Wed May 25 11:23:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l0s4j/i_just_gotta_tell_you_all/
---
I haven't been here long, I haven't posted or commented that much, but OMG this is the greatest subreddit ever! All you guys are so kind, understanding and supportive!
(I think) I am in the slightly older percentile of this sub, I have been around a lot of different pro ana/mia (what ever) sites when they started popping up, and for the first time ever, I feel at home. These are my people!!!

I just wanted to say, that I really appreciate every one of you, and even though we struggle at times, we share the burden.
And in the good times we share that too!

Thank you all wonderful people of proED for making me feel safe and accepted. I only hope I can live up to the high standards on here, and also be able to give back!
That is all....:P
<3 <3 <3

---

[Help] Help please, I've gained a lot of weight and I need to get control of myself
/u/bigfattyfat
Created: Wed May 25 11:06:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l0p37/help_please_ive_gained_a_lot_of_weight_and_i_need/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed May 25 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l0d2a/daily_food_diary_may_25_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Goal] A tiny new thing I love about being thinner...
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Wed May 25 09:52:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l0bbv/a_tiny_new_thing_i_love_about_being_thinner/
---
This isn't something I realized I wanted until I had it. So, goal/NSV i guess?

I moved in with my girlfriend recently, and lately (every few days for the last two weeks) she'll stay up late in the living room working on her laptop, while I watch TV from the couch behind her until I fall asleep. And lately, instead of waking me up and telling me to go to bed, she'll just pick me up and carry me instead. (Keep in mind I'm 5'3" and she's 6'2", and slightly stronger than me).


It makes me feel so light and tiny, she doesn't sound like she's struggling to pick me up or hold me for too long or anything like that. I can just stay curled up and small and not feel like a (big fat) burden.


Just another reason to stay skinny (aka not binge).

---

[Other] when your SO unintentionally encourages your ED....
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 25 09:25:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l06hm/when_your_so_unintentionally_encourages_your_ed/
---
So last night after a romp in bed, my husband said this: "God, you're so sexy now. Don't get me wrong I always thought you were sexy, but now you're skinny and its so much hotter."

me: "oh! well, you know, I'm just working out hard."

husband: "I can tell, you've got the thigh gap of an 18 year old porn star."

[MFW](http://data.whicdn.com/images/65530832/large.gif)

Not sure if compliment or creepy as fuck, but hella encouraging! lol

---

[Other] Simply protein chips, has anyone tried them? They are on amazon's lightning deals today
/u/mommytummy
Created: Wed May 25 09:13:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l04fg/simply_protein_chips_has_anyone_tried_them_they/
---
http://imgur.com/xKMjSmc

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[Goal] I have been a bingeasaurous.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed May 25 08:49:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4l008p/i_have_been_a_bingeasaurous/
---
I managed to eat semi ok (didn't restrict enough 😠) but all last weekend and Monday were a drunken bingey disaster. And my grandma is going to start having play dates with her friend for their great grandkids (my kid) so she stocked the house FULL of COOKIES, CHIPS, & FUCK ALL ELSE. I have been resisting. And ive only have exactly 300 calories so far today. So a small victory to getting back on track and out of this binge cycle.

---

[Discussion] Is there a way to make ribs appear smaller?
/u/iPood_ [5'0" | 101 | 19.7 | -50 | F]
Created: Wed May 25 08:13:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kztx7/is_there_a_way_to_make_ribs_appear_smaller/
---
My ribcage is *massive* and I hate it. It make my boobs look weird and I think it makes me look bonier yet also bigger and wider than I actually am at the same time. It seems like a slim, elegant torso isn't gonna happen for me because of my ribs which sucks because I also have short legs too so I look horrible and wide. Is there a way to either make the ribs not flare out so much (corsets???) or at least make them look smaller?

---

[Discussion] My thinspo has changed so much since the beginning of my relapse
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Wed May 25 07:35:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kznt3/my_thinspo_has_changed_so_much_since_the/
---
I noticed that when I started restricting again, I was looking at healthy, fit girls. They were super tan and in Nike outfits. And that's what I wanted. Is to look healthy and fit, and just workout and be in shape.

Now that I'm almost 6 months in again, I'm looking at girls with chest bones and ribs showing, with pale, transparent skin.

I find it interesting how my brain has greatly changed what it finds aesthetically pleasing. And how it keeps changing to more and more extreme low weights.

Like, I had an UGW of 110lbs. Then 105lbs. Then I said, whatever puts me at "under weight" BMI. Which is 92lbs. I'm pretty worried that I won't be happy then either, because even in the 15lbs I've lost, I can see 0 difference and neither can my SO.

Has anyone else noticed that they gradually strive for smaller and smaller? And didn't just start out wanting that?

It's just weird to be able to acknowledge it as it's happening and not want to change it.

---

[Rant/Rave] For the first time ever I'm too small for all the one piece bathing suits, posting this here so I can convince myself it's not too bad when random people can see me like this :x
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 95 lbs | 16.80 | -60 lbs]
Created: Wed May 25 06:55:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kzhoo/for_the_first_time_ever_im_too_small_for_all_the/
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http://imgur.com/SMDqIj5

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[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday May 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed May 25 06:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kzagn/way_to_go_wednesday_may_25_2016/
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This is the weekly achievement thread for May 25, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Discussion] How can you have body issues when you look like that?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| trying to lose-25 lbs| F]
Created: Wed May 25 05:38:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kz7de/how_can_you_have_body_issues_when_you_look_like/
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How could you hate your body when we're the same height and you weigh less than me?

How can you hate your body when you have s 25' inch waist and 110 pounds.

How can you hate your body when you have a thigh gap.

How can you hate your body when you look like that and dont even work out.

If you can hate your body when you look like everything i aspire to be then you would shoot yourself in the face if you looked like me

Edit: This post is not to dismiss the fact that people have body issues.

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[Discussion] "You still retain 50% of your caloric intake when you purge": MYTH
/u/AlternateVision
Created: Tue May 24 23:59:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ky8tv/you_still_retain_50_of_your_caloric_intake_when/
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http://www.scienceofeds.org/2016/05/13/on-the-efficacy-of-self-induced-vomiting/

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[Rant/Rave] Spiraling out of control.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Tue May 24 23:33:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ky5ul/spiraling_out_of_control/
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I feel like a burden to my family and friends. I want to ask for help but I can't. I feel like a burden to this subreddit--like I've turned totally Negative Nancy in the past few days.

I'm scared. Yesterday I ate 5000 calories. No, that's not an exaggeration. Yes, I logged everything. I purged, injured, then ate more. I did that today after binging again today, too (the worst I've injured in quite a while).

I've hit my bottom.

I don't want to be seen in public. I feel like everyone knows when I've lost control.

I don't want to ask for help. I do want to ask for help. I don't want to stop eating COMPLETELY. No, I do want to stop eating completely. I want to be at my goal. I want to gain control of my life, but feel like in doing so, I'll be out of it.

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[Discussion] My Body Gallery - Photos of women by height, weight and body type
/u/katiejay_ [5"9 | Godzilla | BMI 26 | F]
Created: Tue May 24 23:14:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ky3ml/my_body_gallery_photos_of_women_by_height_weight/
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Edit - Apparently I am too egocentric to see the 'male' tab. At the top of the page you can choose between sexes, it's not just for women :)

http://www.mybodygallery.com/

You can see what other people with your body type and height look like at various weights. Interesting to see how different people carry fat and what I could look similar to at my GW :)

P.S The "what real women look like" isn't meant to be a dig at slim people, it's just photos of the public that have been submitted, that phrase irks me too

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[Goal] Quitting my second job. I'll have so much time to obsess over my ED now.
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 120 | 19.7 | -22]
Created: Tue May 24 22:40:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kxzj2/quitting_my_second_job_ill_have_so_much_time_to/
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This Friday night is my last night at my second job (I can't work two 12-hour overnight shifts and two 12-hour day shifts. It's making me crazy.) and I'm looking forward to only working two days a week from now on. I'll have more time to control my intake and exercise. Of course, I'll pick up extra shifts here and there but I'm most excited about all the time I'll have to devote to getting to 50kg.

I was reading something about celebrities and diet and how it's pretty easy for them because they have so much time and money to devote to being thin. Now, I'm not wealthy (ha. I wish.) so I don't have the benefit of personal trainers or expensive supplements and gym memberships, but I do have time and willpower. I'm going to be restricting to about 500 calories a day, running and walking as often as possible (remember Rivka from Starving Secrets?), and doing the ballet beautiful exercise routine along with yoga to tone and create a graceful body. I'm doubtful as to whether I'll ever achieve anything resembling a ballerina's body, but that doesn't mean I won't try. Wish me luck.

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[Help] I am desperate
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 24 21:56:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kxu2b/i_am_desperate/
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[deleted]

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[Intro] The more I hated myself, the thinner I got. My name is Tiffianie, hi.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 24 21:49:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kxt2a/the_more_i_hated_myself_the_thinner_i_got_my_name/
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http://m.imgur.com/DHxAvUU,tcXnAbP

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Parents / my whining
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 24 21:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kxmsv/rant_parents_my_whining/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Here we go again
/u/awkwardgaywriter
Created: Tue May 24 20:27:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kxhr9/here_we_go_again/
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Just bought a scale of of Amazon. I have gained a few pounds over the past few months, a few being about fifteen. Of course I'm unsure because I threw my last scale out and told myself I was going to start caring less about my weight. I have thrown out so many scales because of thoughts/efforts like this. Anyone else?

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[Thinspo] Working on the gap! Ankles are touching :)
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Tue May 24 20:15:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kxg23/working_on_the_gap_ankles_are_touching/
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http://i.imgur.com/kqo78yD.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] my current motivation... is very small...
/u/my_body_my_rules [5'5 | 134 | 52.31 | 95ish lbs| female]
Created: Tue May 24 19:05:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kx5ig/my_current_motivation_is_very_small/
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i mean tiny... itty bitty... PANTIES! I am overjoyed by my collection of size medium panties. THEY ARE SO TINY compared to the panties i use to wear. how can panties this tiny not look good on someone's floor? hahahahaa!!! **tiny tiny panties!**

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[Help] I really need motivation from you guys
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 24 18:30:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kx07y/i_really_need_motivation_from_you_guys/
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[removed]

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[Other] A snip from an email correspondence I've been having with someone who is questioning some mental health issues. (Binges and Depression)
/u/Twosi [5'4" | F]
Created: Tue May 24 17:47:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kwtld/a_snip_from_an_email_correspondence_ive_been/
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I've been speaking to someone about some of the things effecting them. Depression and their relationship with food which is spiraling out of control are at the heart of the email chain. I thought you guys and gals might like to see my take on how things like that effect me so I've snipped parts of it. For the weirdness about mana burn parties and such, it's a reference to Final Fantasy XI... because I'm a nerd.

> For me, when I cycle into a depressed episode... my world feels like it's switched from colour to black and white. I know that's extreme and sounds silly, but... nothing matters at all when I'm depressed. It's all meaningless. I'll have lists of things that need to get done. I'll have people I need to speak to. I'll have a life that still needs to be lead... but it feels like there's really no point. I'm trapped in a glass tank at the bottom of the ocean. I can look up and SEE the light waaaaaaaaaaaaaay up above me, but it doesn't actually make it all the way to where I am. And I'm stuck. I can't break out and swim up, and the thought of what would happen if I tried is paralyzing. What if I'm trapped like this forever? What if I try to swim up and just drown instead? At that point, I simply do the motions of what a normal person should act like.

> For me, I know from it taking place over the years, the WORST thing I can personally do is shut myself away. Doing that means that I don't even have the chance to find a way out. Doing that means that the support from others I so desperately need is going to be limited... not by others, but by myself. Sure, having people see me drop into a ball and sob at the drop of a hat is embarrassing, but people know me, they care for me, they want to be there for me, and by shutting myself up in my room, I know that I'm denying myself a resource I need. Voices that aren't being controlled by the imbalance in my own head.

> Does that mean that the voice that is my depression is happy about this? Far from. Like you, it wants me to lock the door behind me. It wants to crawl into bed, into video games, into food... it wants me to believe that I'm alone. It tells me I should be happy that I've shut others out because now they can't bother me and make it worse, they can't fail me. Problem is... THEY aren't making me worse, -I- am. They aren't failing me in any way. That "blame" is always on ME, no one else. So despite wanting to disappear from the world during this time, that's exactly when I need to go and be with others. And because of how serious my (and from what we'd been seeing, your) actions are when I'm depressed... it's clear to me as well as others, that I need some help. For me, that's medication. With it, I can live a (semi) normal life. Without it, well... see my above statement.

> Anyway, during the time when I ballooned up last time, for me, then there was no thought of purging whatsoever but food was the main source of self-medication for me and my anxiety and depression. Stressed out? Take a giant plate of nachos, some ice cream and maybe make a cake and eat it all... call me in the morning. (Honestly, if I had to say which is worse? My anxiety. You've never seen me have a full blown panic attack, but trust me when I say it is terrifying not just for me, but for everyone around me). So again, it's easy to see the concept of disorders being best friends and feeding off of each other. It's a mana burn party and we're here to merit the crap out of you!~

> Now... for me, I've tried to explain my binges, but let me try again and be a bit more in depth if I can. I tend to have two types of binges. The first actually seems worse than the other, but looks can be deceiving. These are the quick but huge binges. These are between 15 minutes and maybe an hour and a half. It's a frenzy of eating and the counts of what I'm able to remember afterwards are just completely unreal. I would say that there's a method to how they play out. It starts with the nagging feeling that I need to eat right this second or the world as I know it will end. I need control and since normal people can control their food, my brain says that's where I will find control too. So it'll be something small and sensible. A yoghurt. A sugar free pudding. If I have veggies in the house, maybe it'll start with some celery and hummus. Ah... but there is where I'm caught. So let me explain the routes that spin out from those sensible and small choices.

> So lets say I've picked a yoghurt. For me, that's a typical breakfast food if it's sweet, if it's plain, then it's something that reminds me of dinners. Let's say I chose the sweet. If it was too sweet (and it's always too sweet when I'm heading to a binge), my brain will slowly start the spiral like this: "That was really good... a bit sweet though. I really wish I had something to cut the sweetness. I want something salty!" So from there, I convince myself that a single crisp or a couple of mini peanut butter crackers is fine. I'M in control, I tell myself. I'll just have one or maybe two and I'll log it! This won't turn into a binge. I AM IN CONTROL! So now, I've found a second food that I "need" to eat. I've set up rules about it to maintain my feeling that I'm in control of it. I'll go to the cupboard (that I probably tricked the boy into opening for me under the guise that I want to make HIM something for dinner) and I'll look for the secondary item. Lets say this time, I picked the crisps. Remember, my rule was, I just will have one so that it cuts the sweetness of the yoghurt that I can still FEEL (but can't even taste anymore) in my mouth. In the locked cupboard, we have two types of chips. Little packs meant for the boy's after school snacks, and then we have pringles like tubes that we get from Al because they're made at a gluten free, peanut free, everything else free etc etc factory and he's the distributor for them. Anything left over that didn't go to getting places to stock them comes straight to my house... we've talked about why that's a blessing and a curse. You'd actually think the worst choice I could make here would be to take one of the boy's little packs... but you're wrong. So we're going to take the path that goes to the faux pringles. It doesn't really matter if the can was opened before or not. It doesn't matter if it was full to the top or halfway eaten. There I am, taking out my ONE crisp... but look... as is always the case, broken pieces drop into my hand as well. It's not even enough to add up to TWO crisps, it's fine! So I put all of it in my mouth. And with that ONE act... the switch is flipped completely. The tube is still in my other hand and instead of putting the lid back on, I dump out a couple more because that was lovely and I'm still willing to do the math gymnastics in my head to justify it. I can eat exactly seven of these and it'll be fine. But then I lose count, the tube is now empty and worse my mouth is TOO salty, I need something less salty... but not too sweet. Crackers! But dammit, I'm over my calories for the entire day. The voice starts in whispering "you f*cked everything up today, it's too f*cking late, just eat everything!" So I grab the damn crackers and I have a handful. Then I put them back, but they're next to the cereal, specifically the cereal that's meant for the boy (my cereal is the rice chex because it's a safe choice when someone else weighs it out for me in the mornings), but oh~ don't be such an unhealthy pig Twosi! Sure, you can have some of the boy's cereal, buuuuuuuuuuuut mix it with your own! So I do. Then I use his milk, 1% rather than my own cashew milk. I don't use a small bowl, I use a glass bowl that's meant for microwaving a family size portion of veggies in at dinner. It's filled to the top. I eat that, and now milk is left. I can't just pour out the milk, that's wasteful. A battle takes place in my head. My logical voice gets smaller and smaller. POUR IT OUT it tries to yell. STOP, PLEASE FUCKING STOP RIGHT NOW! PLEASE...please... but by this point, the roar of the ED voice is far too loud, too demanding, too in control. I've lost the battle, I NEVER had control... So back to the cupboard. Maybe I'll grab more cereal, maybe I'll grab a box of mini cookies instead and pour it like it's cereal into the bowl, it won't matter either way, I won't remember eating it until days later. It's gone in less than five minutes and still... the ED wants more. It might reach for more crackers but the last ones didn't taste enough like peanut butter, so I take out the peanut butter as well and I methodically put some on each cracker... somehow I'm now standing with an empty cracker box in my hands. I need more still. Too salty, too wet, too dry, too sweet, too chewy, too crunchy, too small, too cold, too hot... there's always SOMETHING that drives my hands to grab the next thing. But with this type of binge, as horrific as it sounds... it WILL smash into a wall and it will stop. And then reality will set in for me. I'm ashamed. I'm totally broken. I do the things I do that will fix it... it never REALLY fixes anything at all. My stomach actually makes me look pregnant I've eaten so much. I feel like I've just woken up. I can't recall everything I've just eaten, but the longer I sit, the more small flashes of "something else I ate" will pop into my head. "Oh right... I had that too." As messed up as it all is, for that brief amount of time... I had no thoughts. And if you had no thoughts, you can't be depressed. You can't be anxious. All you knew for that 15 minutes to an hour was silence, fullness, comfort... peace for once.

> Again... THAT sounds like it would be the worst of the two... but it's not. The worst is the prolonged binge. And that, that can last from a few hours to a week or longer. I count myself lucky if it lasts "only" two days. It's not the frenzy of food, but it's far more secretive and never ending... Nothing fills the hole in for long enough. I check to see if anyone hears me, sees me, I grab a bag of crisps, a single pudding, a toaster strudel. I realise my mistake because now I have something frozen that needs to be cooked. Why the hell did I do that? I can't risk trying to put it back now. WHAT DO I DO?! I get more and more worked up trying to decide how to handle this. Do I throw it in the microwave and pray they don't hear? Should only take 15 seconds. Do I unplug the toaster oven and sprint with it into my room? Hope they don't come out and see it missing on the counter? Should I just use the toaster oven but set it for a super long time so that when they hear the ding, there hasn't been anything in there for a long time and it doesn't smell like cooked food, I can just say "Oh, I was using it as a timer, thanks for telling me it went off n_n/" The panic is thick and suffocating. I throw the chips behind my screen so in case anyone comes in, they won't see the pile of food I've gathered. The toaster strudel is in my desk drawer. I practically dump the pudding into my mouth, I swallow before I even had a chance to taste. If they find me, if they see me like this, dear god please don't let them see me like this... One food down. Now to figure out what to do about the pastry. Gods, so stupid of me to grab something like this... I didn't even really want this. I need to cook it, I need to get rid of it. I'll risk the microwave. I walk by their rooms and make up some bullshit about why I'm walking by. We'll talk for a couple minutes and all I can think about is the pastry hidden in the kitchen waiting for me and how I need to get it back to my room, need to get rid of it quickly. I'm in luck, they're playing games and have headphones on. They'll never hear the microwave, just be quick about it. Distract them! Ask if they want me to get them a drink "since I'm right here anyway". Now... microwave. Stop it when it hits 1 second left so it doesn't beep. Run to the room, eat it quickly, terrified glances at the door. Oh look, I didn't even remember to chew, I pretty much swallowed it whole. I can't recall if it was good or not, I was too busy staring at the doorway. Between the pudding and the pastry, it's been about 15 minutes of time. But that's the thing of it. When it isn't in a sudden rush of food, it's easy to get up, eat, sit down, think about something else. Reach into my mini freezer, eat a couple things in there, get back up, go to the kitchen grab something else while no one is looking or listening. The reason why it keeps going is because I'm constantly keeping my anxiety topped off. I'm so f*cking scared and when I'm scared the only way to ignore being scared is to eat, but I'm scared because I'm eating. So I keep risking it, for hours, for days, etc.

> The worst part of the second example is... not only will I keep eating until I physically can't stand up any more and my days become a blur of crawling back and forth to the wc to throw up, but... when I consider the sheer amount that I've eaten, the cost in terms of ACTUAL MONEY is... appalling. Figuring out how to afford to replace it all since it was NEVER for me to begin with... a whole new set of fears takes root. I feel pathetic. I'm such a god damn waste. That's actually why we started going to the buffet to take care of the binge. It costs less money and it forces it to be quick, structured, methodical. It forces me in public, so I have to be aware enough to not eat in a manner that I would in a normal binge at home. I can't pick up noodles from the pan without a fork. I can't stuff fries in my mouth in a handful. I also have a time limit. 90 minutes to do my worst.... but... interestingly... I eat MUCH less at the buffet binges than I do if I had gone to fast food or if I had stayed home.

> The point is though, that I know all too well what it's like to have food take over EVERYTHING. I know what it's like to believe somewhere deep inside that it's going to fix everything that hurts. Everything I can't control in my life, food will make that better. I know what it's like to go from 119 in high school to 200 first year of college to 110 second year of college to 180 last year of college. I know what it's like to not even notice what I've done until it's done... in either direction. It feels like one day I just wake up and go "HOLY CRAP, I'M A WHALE!" or "What the hell, why do I have bruises all over my body... o_O omg, I'm all bony! I'm bruising myself!" And more than all this, I know what it's like to have that moment where nothing in the world exists all because you've turned to food and for a second, you feel okay again, you feel "normal".

> I understand what it's like to have rituals that revolve around food. Buying it in large quantities all at once or standing in tears in the produce section for over an hour because they've stopped carrying something that I think is safe. Cutting food into a thousand tiny little pieces or taking gigantic mouthfuls and barely chewing at all to the point (many times) that I'll choke! I know what it's like to get to the point where your stomach growls for 60 seconds straight but you don't notice it because it's been growling for days now... maybe tomorrow you'll be lucky and it won't growl at all because it will give up and give in to the fact that I can't make myself eat anything at all... I know what it's like to eat so much that my stomach can't digest anything and it will sit in my stomach for days, FERMENTING, causing so much pain that I can't get out of bed. I know what it's like to eat things in order, to not have food touch that wasn't touching when I made it. I know what it's like to be fully aware of how bad something is for me one minute and then crave it like my life depends on having it the next... even with things I hate (like peanut butter). I know what it's like to tell myself that I can handle it all... that I'm fine... and know damn well that I can't and I'm not.

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[Tip] Just some things I’ve been eating a lot of lately
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Tue May 24 17:11:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kwnzu/just_some_things_ive_been_eating_a_lot_of_lately/
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https://imgur.com/a/Kbm6J

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[Discussion] anyone else struggle with fasting?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Tue May 24 17:05:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kwn0f/anyone_else_struggle_with_fasting/
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I was doing pretty well today up until I made the mistake of thinking I couldn't focus on my homework cos I hadnt eaten much today (I didnt want to eat but I have so much stuff to get done before end of term that I need to be able to focus hahaha). Ended up binging and now I feel awful and just want to cry.

This happens pretty much every time I try to fast. It goes well until the evening then I end up binging one way or another, even if I try not to. Its making it really hard to actually lose weight - my lowest was at 113.5lbs, but I've gone up again from the constant binging after attempted fasts.

Just looking to know if I'm not alone in this - I'm new to this subreddit (and new to dealing with an ED, tbh, as its only come on over the past month or so) and it feels like everyone else is so much better at actually fasting properly! So I kind of feel like a failure. :(

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[Intro] Salutations, everyone.
/u/WintryEmery [5'4" | 88lbs | UGW 80lbs | Female]
Created: Tue May 24 16:15:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kwevl/salutations_everyone/
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My name is Emery. I'm a 24-year-old (soon to be 25) demi-heterosexual female who lives on the East Coast of the United States. Just because it matters to me, I'll also share that I'm an ethical vegan. I'm not entirely sure how long I have had an eating disorder, because it wasn't picked up on until I was an inpatient (for suicidal thoughts) and that was when I was 16, but I had already been doing all the red flags they saw for years. At the time I was diagnosed with EDNOS, because I would purge. After looking over the new criteria for each eating disorder though (I almost don't want to admit this, but...) I fit the criteria for Anorexia Nervosa.

Let's see. I also have PTSD, depression, anxiety, and ADD. My meds are pretty stable right now, but I'm hoping to get into therapy soon to learn some coping skills. (I won't be bringing up my ED.)

If you have any questions or just wish to talk with me, please feel welcome to do so!

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[Tip] PSA: Creeper McCreeperson aka /u/tayke5
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue May 24 15:58:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kwbwy/psa_creeper_mccreeperson_aka_utayke5/
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This user has been banned from /r/proED for about 4 months, yet continues to message community members about personal information, both related and unrelated to /r/proED post+comment history. Some of these messages are benign, while others are less so.

Our mods have contacted Reddit Admin about this user's behavior, and their sole advice was to have community members block him. No other suggestions were given.

Remember that anyone can view the contents of this subreddit even if they are banned. Even if we ban people, they can still message you until you have blocked them.

**To block a user click 'block user' below a message from a user you wish to block.**

The caveat of this blocking feature is that the offending user actually has to interact with you directly first, in order to be available to block. The block is silent, meaning the blocked redditor will not receive any notification that they have been blocked.

If tayke5 contacts you, please consider blocking them as a cautionary measure against further unwanted PMs.

As always, please take care of yourselves and value your privacy online. We will continue to do everything we can to keep this sub a safe community for its members, but we're limited by the internal processes and policies Reddit offers.

Please feel free to comment below or [PM the mods](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED) if you have any questions or concerns.
*****

**[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kwbwy/psa_creeper_mccreeperson_aka_utayke5/d488zmc):**
> Please be advised this user has now deleted their account. It is altogether likely they will make a new one and continue their behaviour. The above advice should still be applied to anyone that makes you uncomfortable, asks for information or pictures you don't wish to provide, or sends inappropriate messages to you at any time.

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[Help] How to act/eat during a music festival/a weekend of binge drinking with friends?
/u/Zowitz [171cm | 53 kg | 18.1 | F]
Created: Tue May 24 14:44:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kvye9/how_to_acteat_during_a_music_festivala_weekend_of/
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Going to a music festival this weekend and while the calories in booze is enough to make me anxious i'm torn between eating (adding even more calories) and not eating at all, meaning I will be super sensitive to the alcohol. I always get waaay too drunk when I eat badly during a day of partying, basically risking ruining my weekend altogether.

My friends will probably want to go to McDonalds and eat and the possibility of having to be there and make the choice of eating and feeling bad or not eating and seem like freak is another thing I don't want to deal with. I will probably hang with my friends pretty nonstop so they will notice if I don't eat, and I'm afraid running around all day will make me dizzy or even faint.

I'm currently restricting super-low (200-300 calories) and going from that to eating "normally" in a short period of time always fucks my stomach up which means i'd have to "adapt" to it over a few days (meaning "ruining" valuable days), I'm scared I will get too drunk and "forget" this and lose control & eat anyways.

This all feels hard to deal with and right now all I want is to stay in my room alone so I can control what I eat and so on but I can't do that. Idk I just want some of your thoughts and advice right now :(

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[Rant/Rave] Fasting
/u/DrunkenRidgeley [5'10 | 197 | 28 | -13 | Male]
Created: Tue May 24 14:44:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kvycl/fasting/
---
Sorry on mobile.

So im wanting to attempt my frst 24 hour fast because ive been eating way too much lately
Its so hard to avoid going out to eat when you're dating someone and i just dont want to gain any more weight
Looking for thoughts I guess.., sorry I just usually lurk so posting is a bit stressful

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[Rant/Rave] This has never happened to me
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Tue May 24 14:30:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kvvub/this_has_never_happened_to_me/
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So i havent really lost weight since i gained 10lbs in january after reaching a new low. Been around 120 for a while. But i barely ate this weekend. Didnt eat at all yesterday or today until I got to work and realized I probably wouldnt last the shift if i didnt eat. I made some spinnach curry and got two bites in and... stopped being hungry. I threw it out. I have no tempation. Scale read 118.0 last night, wish me luck friends.

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[Tip] For Your Holiday Weekend, at Walmart
/u/lowgravities
Created: Tue May 24 13:28:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kvk7e/for_your_holiday_weekend_at_walmart/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/68055f85aca1458499cb0030600785cc?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=da02aecd8925d5c524dc29201d928ff7

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[Goal] [goal] tiny, tiny gap even with my feet together!!
/u/dogfucker_420 [5'6" | 125 | 20.26 | -35# | F]
Created: Tue May 24 13:22:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kvj5l/goal_tiny_tiny_gap_even_with_my_feet_together/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/5d359bd8d61741eca36a7e36d159b36a?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=881e9ec63aac863ffb8704c0f41829ce

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[Help] Any suggestions on a (very) inexpensive, yet accurate scale (US)?
/u/Hello_Mellow_Yellow [5'2.5"|99|18.4|F]
Created: Tue May 24 13:18:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kvi9v/any_suggestions_on_a_very_inexpensive_yet/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kvi9v/any_suggestions_on_a_very_inexpensive_yet/

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[Other] Choosing my ED over my pregnancy.
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Tue May 24 12:15:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kv6nn/choosing_my_ed_over_my_pregnancy/
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I can't talk about this anywhere else. If I should save it for the weekly emotional support thread please let me know.

I just found out that I am pregnant. I had an abortion in 2009 that fueled a relapse. Then I miscarried in 2013 due to my ED. Obviously my ED isn't the only factor affecting my decision; my husband and I have only been married a year and a half, we are saving for a house, we are not ready emotionally/mentally/financially for a baby and I fear we would not be able to provide the life we would want our baby to have. Yes, we could make it work somehow but it is not our best option. I am getting an abortion.

It kills me to make this impossible choice again. But in my sick, twisted mind my first thought when we considered terminating was "I would finally have a chance to not eat and my SO would understand. It would fuel my self-loathing to the point where I could tell myself I really do not deserve to eat." I feel so selfish. I want my baby but know it isn't right at this point in time. I am somehow happy that I can finally restrict the way I have wanted without pressure. I don't want to choose this lifestyle over a child but I want to be frail again and I do not want to eat. I want to feel like myself again before having a baby. Someday.

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[Other] Thank god for IRL reverse thinspo
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11½ | 138.2 | 18.93 | F]
Created: Tue May 24 12:15:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kv6mk/thank_god_for_irl_reverse_thinspo/
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Honestly, no matter where I go there's always overweight people present. And I live near two big colleges so I see a lot of overweight girls my age, which just works even better.

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[Tip] Do it for yourself and no one else, email from a friend, clearly showing , you have to do it for yourself
/u/jimmyolsenblues
Created: Tue May 24 11:26:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kuxbz/do_it_for_yourself_and_no_one_else_email_from_a/
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http://i.imgur.com/3Y6kTeN.jpg

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[Help] Mom intervention
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 100 | 16.4| F]
Created: Tue May 24 11:15:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kuv5o/mom_intervention/
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So, my mom and all my family noticed I have lost weight. So she filled my fridge and freezer with food, fancy and tasty vegan food. I don't wanna eat it, but I feel sad to waste the food my mom bought me with love. She knows I am sad cos I got stolen all my make up, so she tried to cheer me up. I would have prefer a make up haul tho.

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[Rant/Rave] Blueberry Donut
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Tue May 24 10:51:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kuqsh/blueberry_donut/
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Sorry for the oncoming rant but after a weekend with my boyfriend of eating at least maintenance (and drinking a fair amount of wine at an event at a winery) I'm trying to get back on track. I drank a zero calorie and zero sugar Monster (the only thing that gives me energy anymore) and ran 2.5 miles on the treadmill before my mom got home. I was trying to hit 3 miles but she gets annoyed when I use her treadmill because she thinks its going to break and then she'd actually be forced to "exercise" outside.


Not only did she come home and interrupt my running, she brought me back a blueberry donut from Dunkin Donuts. I'm sitting in my room trying to avoid eating it because it would negate any benefit of my running. Why can't she just leave me alone and let me be skinny? I hate that I'm so worked up about what was just a nice gesture on her part.

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[Other] I told my friend last night
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 24 10:45:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kuppa/i_told_my_friend_last_night/
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It went so well. We were discussing the topic of insecurity in general, so it naturally that lead to sharing about our own. I was in the middle of talking about how being in a relationship makes me feel insecure very easily, and how I compare myself to everyone my boyfriend has dated very very intensely. My boyfriend is nothing but supportive and tells me I'm beautiful every single day, so it's unjustified. I was to believe him when he says I'm the prettiest girl in the world to him. But I can't shake the underlying dread.


So then I spilled. Everything. I don't know why. I cried, they brought me tissues and asked if I wanted celery or anything (I laughed pretty hard at this, in the way you do while something really funny happens in the middle of crying).

I don't think you should tell someone if you're not ready, but it was so therapeutic to for me. I feel that cliche weight lifted off of me. Not really weight though, total binge day today.

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[Tip] Training myself not to binge on fear foods
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue May 24 10:35:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kunsr/training_myself_not_to_binge_on_fear_foods/
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So here's something I'm trying right now. Nuts are a fear food & binge trigger for me. But when I can manage to eat them in the right quantities they are satisfying enough to keep me from ordering takeout or other junk food.


I bought a can of Virginia peanuts and immediately weighed and portioned them into 100 calorie baggies, then put the bags back in the tin. I ate three of the baggies yesterday, but at least I know how many calories that cost me. I can now work on reducing the number of bags I feel compelled to eat, and try to move nuts out of my fear food category.

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[Other] Target has a coupon for $2 off Bronkaid!
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -10.9lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 24 10:29:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kumnp/target_has_a_coupon_for_2_off_bronkaid/
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http://coupons.target.com/coupons/health-Coupons-104/

It expires at the end of the month, but I thought anyone taking EC stacks might like to know.

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[Rant/Rave] when your ED infects other areas of your life...
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 24 10:22:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kul9k/when_your_ed_infects_other_areas_of_your_life/
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Guys, I'm afraid my ED is leaking into my 'motherhood' sphere. Babyman is coming up on his 1 year birthday and my ED brain is making me paranoid about his size and his diet.

When he was born and in his babyhood, everyone marveled at how chubby he was. All he had was breast milk but he was such a fat little baby. Every Dr. visit he'd be in 90+ percentile for height, weight, and head size.

Back then, this was a good thing. He was strong, he was growing, he was thriving.

His last Dr. visit his weight dropped to the 75% percentile, but the Dr. assured me its because he's moving a lot more and burning all sorts of calories.

Since then, he's begun walking and moved on to solid foods (still breast feeding). Technically he's burning more calories now, but he's still a chunky babyman. I guess I'm just paranoid that the solid food he's eating is unhealthy, and contributing to a future of childhood obesity?

This past weekend he played with a baby girl who was one month older than him, yet she was so much smaller than him. Everyone was like, 'oh, he's such a big healthy boy!' and I put on the face that I'm a proud mama, but that ED shit voice in head is whispering *'maybe he's not supposed to be so large, maybe you're dooming him to a lifetime of obesity.'*

Ugh what a mess. its a miasma of childhood obesity paranoia, my own weight issues, and new mom ignorance, fear, plus insecurity.

disclaimer: I'm not going to do anything that would put him in danger like restrict his diet or whatever, its just my feelings and shit.

I've watched too many documentaries about the horrors of the Standard American Diet, and I've read too many mommy blogs where the women go on about how their [indigo children](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indigo_children) only eat organic fruit leathers, kale chips, almond milk chia pudding, and activated cashews mixed with bee pollen and sprouted brown rice protein.

Needless to say, occasionally feeding my son arrowroot cookies (SUGAR), Gerber cereal puffs(EVIL SUGAR), and dehydrated yogurt bits(EVIL EVIL SUGAR) feels like I'm dooming him to childhood, and inevitable lifetime obesity.

UUGGGHH why can't I just be normal about this, and leave the ED nonsense to myself?

Oy, his 12 month check up can't come soon enough.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 24 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kuhmj/daily_food_diary_may_24_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Help] Prying family
/u/inezz [5'8'' | 145 | 21.81 | -21 lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 24 09:57:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kugtt/prying_family/
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My family is quickly catching on to what's happening. I am trying to avoid the confrontation. We have tons of family gatherings centered around food "taco Tuesday" and a Memorial Day bbq on Friday is what I am currently facing . I need some excuses/reasons for smaller portions. I usually fast most of the time or very restricted intake unless it's some sort of social eating situation to keep people off my back. What are some things you do in these situations ? Thankfully last week I blamed my wisdom teeth and then my daughter was sick so we couldn't attend the next one. I need some help!

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[Rant/Rave] [Update] Started IOP
/u/_theninthcircle
Created: Tue May 24 08:26:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ku0vq/update_started_iop/
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Started IOP at Renfrew last night. I am 5'4 and 145 lbs, and the meal plan they gave me is **2500 calories**. That's their maintenance plan. Fuck, I gain on anything over 1500. I accept that my outlook on a healthy diet is skewed, but this seems insane, particularly since I haven't eaten more than 1000/day in *months*. Am I crazy?

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[Help] MFP claims this is 600 calories-- can anyone explain?
/u/lowgravities
Created: Tue May 24 07:55:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ktvt0/mfp_claims_this_is_600_calories_can_anyone_explain/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/09797a839df848808f9194043fa24d25?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=e49a85f801485dee3c1058120a5e3b61

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[Discussion] So many people (especially girls) here with ADHD + an ED!
/u/crapbeg
Created: Tue May 24 06:44:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ktkzi/so_many_people_especially_girls_here_with_adhd_an/
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I'm so surprised because I was told that ADHD in females is less common (or less commonly diagnosed). Why do you think there are so many people with ADHD and an ED? How does your ADHD interact with your ED? What medication are you on? How does ADHD affect your eating habits? For me, I think that I'm starting to notice the suppressant effects of Ritalin (I tried to avoid taking it regularly, but exams are calling). I tend to graze/snack a ridiculous amount (my ex said I never stopped eating as joke and I cried at that lol) but I think that's because I get bored/enjoy experiencing new stuff in terms of food (which could explain my obsession with cooking). How about you guys?

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A May 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 24 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ktev0/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_may_24_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Tip] Water/coffee fast today. Any one else employ little tricks like "DNE"?
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 24 05:57:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kte6u/watercoffee_fast_today_any_one_else_employ_little/
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I want to create a huge calorie deficit today. My (shoddily calculated) TDEE is 1991 calories. Plus I am going to go to kickboxing tonight and the gym afterwards per usual.

This should put a dent in the lack of progress I made yesterday. This weekend is memorial day weekend and I'm seeing an old roommate that I haven't seen in a while. She is a huge judger of body, noticer of weight, and point-outer of overweight people. I was +45 pounds when I met her and now I weigh less than her and I want her to notice me and be surprised and...jealous. Is that fucked up? yeah, but its ED talking right? That makes me feel better at least. CHEERS TO TODAY! Drinking my first coffee now :)

Oh, and writing on my hand "DNE" in pen right on top very small which means "do not eat". I'm a barista so I see my hands all day.

Edit: I love this fast today. Im also using the "fastingtimer" app so I can visually see how many hours, minutes, and seconds it has been since I've eaten. I feel so powerful. As I mentioned, I'm a barista. Is it also fucked up that every time I make a drink and hand it out or hand out food, I feel powerful giving the person so many grams of sugar and so many calories while I remain clean? There are so many tired looking overweight people who order insanely calorific drinks with pastries for BREAKFAST and while it makes me sad, it makes me feel empowered in a twisted way. I would never admit these awful thoughts anywhere else. I know they are wrong. Anyway, I'm also going to edit this post tonight and give an honest account of how today's fast went. I plan to succeed but will be held accountable for the truth. My motivation and will power seems so fickle that accountability in a true anchor. Thanks!!!

Edit: about to go to sleep. I ate today, but only nutritionally dense foods and very sparsely. I worked on my feet all day, went to kickboxing, AND went hard at the gym. Although my ED brain is SCREAMING "failure" at me for eating at all, I logically know I created a huge deficit with mild eating, healthy eating, and a ton of physical activity. Tomorrow I am riding my bike (30 mins to and from) work AND walking across a huge bridge in my city on top of my normal physical activities (kickboxing +gym). Today was...a success :):) And hopefully tomorrow is even better.

Press on!!! Thanks for all your kind words <3

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[Discussion] Favorite Calorie Tracker?
/u/lowgravities
Created: Tue May 24 05:20:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kt9sh/favorite_calorie_tracker/
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It feels like each one fixes a problem and creates a new one whenever I switch.

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[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else have shitty parents that fuel your ED?
/u/pewpewlamew
Created: Tue May 24 04:59:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kt7k2/does_anyone_else_have_shitty_parents_that_fuel/
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So my dad starts off the day by repeatedly calling me a fat pig and oinking at me when he sees me sitting in the den watching TV. I proceed to ignore him until he leaves, and then I wind up binging and purging on leftovers in the fridge. This is along the lines of how it usually goes.

Now I feel like shit and I think I purged too hard and burst some blood vessels on my face. Don't know how much longer I can put up with their shit. Just wanted to vent/ask for some support from people that would understand.

edit: well my mom just joined in too, so that's great.

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[Help] Question for those familiar with the ECA stack...
/u/selfofsteam [5'4 | 120 lbs | 20.6 | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 24 04:37:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kt5c5/question_for_those_familiar_with_the_eca_stack/
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I'm interested in starting an ECA stack (yay!!!)
I've heard that ephedrine+caffeine is similar in structure to amphetamines. Right now I take adderall XR (20mg) and adderall IR (10mg). I don't take them every day, but I take them often.
Would my tolerance to amphetamines affect how the ECA stack works? Would it make the diminishing returns with the adderall worse? Help!!!

*edit - thank you for the responses! to clarify - I wasn't planning on taking amphetamines and the ECA stack at the same time.

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[Other] Holding myself accountable: Fasting
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 24 02:35:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kst91/holding_myself_accountable_fasting/
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I'm just posting so I have it written down somewhere.

I will fast. I will fast for multiple days. I will meditate while I fast. Nothing will cross my lips except water. I will fast for bones. I will fast.

Edit: I hate all this detox/rapid weight loss fasting fad stuff. Just upsets me to see people doing it because it's cool.

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[Help] Anyone quit purging? How long until I start to lose again?
/u/stillinhell [5'4" | 118lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 24 00:05:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ksf50/anyone_quit_purging_how_long_until_i_start_to/
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Hey all. Throwaway account here - I usually lurk on my main account but I really need to make this post.

So I quit purging a little over a month ago (after frequently purging for like a year). I gained a little bit, maybe 8ish lbs, immediately. But I've been stuck here not gaining or losing and it's seriously been like a month. Consistently eating under/around 1000 cals with a little bit of exercise here and there. My TDEE is typically 1800. Started using Bronkaid with 200mg caffeine a week ago but still eating around 1000.

Is my body fighting to keep every last drop of water or what?! Anyone here manage to start losing after quitting purging or b/p?

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[Other] I'VE NEVER SEEN 600LBS LIFE UNTIL TONIGHT
/u/MulattoKhaleesi
Created: Mon May 23 23:26:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ksaz5/ive_never_seen_600lbs_life_until_tonight/
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HOLY FUCK. i've never felt so sick an appalled by such behavior. I only found it because of this sub, and Christ, I can see why you all watch it. Not only to stop eating but the fear and sadness is unbelievable! I'm honestly gobsmacked right now.


Edit: Spelling

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[Help] What do you guys think of kale chips?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 23 21:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4krsi5/what_do_you_guys_think_of_kale_chips/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] New awesome boyfriend, more anxiety and urges to purge.
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 120 | -25 | F]
Created: Mon May 23 20:56:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4krrof/new_awesome_boyfriend_more_anxiety_and_urges_to/
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I just started to date a new guy about two weeks ago. He's honestly really awesome, and makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. We share so many sentiments, can talk for hours, and I always have fun being with him, even if we're just sitting around doing nothing.

I keep getting so afraid though that he's really just using me for his own satisfaction. That's what my ex did to me; he only treated me well for a month before deciding to become abusive, emotionally and physically. I keep getting scared he'll turn on me and start being a dick to me after we pass the one month mark. I'm scared to get more intimate with him as well because I'm scared it'll drive him away. He's been so understanding though when I just plain out tell him "I'm just not ready to go there yet..." Ugh... I don't deserve him.

This all triggers so much anxiety in me. Then that anxiety makes me want to purge so bad. I only ate 450 calories today and I was proud but now I've started feeling scared again and now I want to purge so so bad. Ugh, I don't know what to do.

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Why do I want to purge when I'm sad?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 23 20:43:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4krpsl/why_do_i_want_to_purge_when_im_sad/
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[deleted]

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[Other] Husband out of town, only calories in are coming from wine.
/u/MulattoKhaleesi
Created: Mon May 23 20:08:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4krkq3/husband_out_of_town_only_calories_in_are_coming/
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My husband lost his grandfather friday and I have been so sad for him and our family. I really hope right now everyone can find peace. My husband didn't want me to miss work so I couldn't go, which sucks because I want to be there for him so badly. The only light to this is the fact that I can spend the next three days fasting. I have already succeeded in a 24 hour fast and I'm breaking it with 5 oz of wine. Maybe thats all i need to keep going. I will probably wake up and continue to fast tomorrow as well until I can go home and have my glass of wine. Anyone else on tonoght dealing with stuff (or drinking wine?) I'd love to hear from all you lovelies.

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[Help] Anyone else with CFS or Fibro? Does Yoga help?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Mon May 23 19:35:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4krfra/anyone_else_with_cfs_or_fibro_does_yoga_help/
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I NEED some sort of physical activity. Everything hurts though. Anyone else in the chronic pain camp able to do yoga? Any details you can give are very much appreciated.

Edit: Arthritis is also a definite problem.

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[Rant/Rave] To those of you who see a mental health professional, do you feel like they view you differently because of your eating disorder?
/u/Astroyeti [5'4.75" | 99.2 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Mon May 23 19:28:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4krepf/to_those_of_you_who_see_a_mental_health/
---
I may or may not be projecting how I feel and how the uneducated public often feels about eating disorders on the various professionals who've been there, but I feel like as soon as the subject of an eating disorder comes up or is made clear, I'm viewed differently. Does that make sense? I feel the same happens with my depression due to my age, and I have similar happen with other issues but those aren't that much a big deal to me.

I could bring up my social anxiety and it's very understandable, no hostility, nothing that sounds like a low blow. But if I bring up my depression, it's due to my upcoming transition to adulthood and *time doesn't wait for me* (to paraphrase a psychiatrist I didn't like very much) and if I bring up me starving myself, I get asked if I understand what I'm doing to my body. It isn't necessarily the question that bothers me but the tone they speak to me with when they ask it. Isn't there an understanding that regardless of what disorder you have, reality isn't going to be as clear and straightforward as it should be?

I don't know, maybe I'll looking too far into it, but does anyone else sort of feel that way?

As an aside, it's troubling because the same happens with the general public to a much greater degree. It turns into some kind of pissing contest where PTSD and schizophrenia are the only disorders worth sympathy or are the only disorders viewed as "real" and "legitimate" or people become more hostile with depression and eating disorders, suggesting they can get over if it they see countries like Africa or visit a homeless shelter or that maybe they're all ungrateful. Something ridiculous.

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[Help] Major binging
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Mon May 23 19:10:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4krc1b/major_binging/
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I've been (shamefully) binging every day, multiple times a day for about three weeks straight. I am disgusted with myself. I haven't been able to keep anything down. But the odd thing is, I'm losing weight/maintaining? I literally eat until I can barely move and then purge. How am I at my lowest maintained weight while eating so much food? I want to be able to maintain, but I dont want to have to throw up everything I eat. Does anyone have any advice to help me out of this cycle?

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[Help] Help estimating calorie content
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon May 23 18:01:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kr1ii/help_estimating_calorie_content/
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I had about 1 cup of

- "sweet-n-sour" chickpeas with
- stir-fry veg. Including red bell pepper/broccoli/onion
- steamed brown rice

All mixed together, probably about 50/50 rice to not-rice. I have no clue what anything was cooked in or what's in the sauce so my mental caloric estimate just keeps going up and up and up.

---

[Help] Anyone know some good inspiring things to watch on YouTube?
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 95 lbs | 16.80 | -60 lbs]
Created: Mon May 23 16:25:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kql9q/anyone_know_some_good_inspiring_things_to_watch/
---
Want to get back to restricting after trying to maintain for about 2 weeks, but I already so got into the habit of eating fruit all day and I need to stop.

Sooo, any recommendations besides supersize vs superskinny? 👼

---

Any tips for overcoming plateaus?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 23 15:58:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kqgqb/any_tips_for_overcoming_plateaus/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] Veganism for a week (please give any advice at the end)
/u/Will-Run-For-Food [5'3.5" | 138.2 | 24 | -70lb | F]
Created: Mon May 23 14:46:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kq40i/veganism_for_a_week_please_give_any_advice_at_the/
---
Hey guys! For the last week I've been vegan. At first I wanted to try being a raw vegan but I found that most foods they eat for breakfast/lunch are smoothies and I don't have a blender. I also found that they simply eat more food that I can't afford, (Lots of plants, which this week I can't afford because I have to buy 'normal' food for soon-to-be hubby. The goal of this vegan week was to lose weight... and that obviously didn't happen.

So, how'd I do? Well, technically I end this challenge tomorrow, but I'm so close and am so confident that I decided to write this post today. I did awesome, I didn't slip up once and I have every meal planned until tomorrow night (Wednesday) because my parents invited us over for a roast... (great..)

How much weight did I lose?

nothing. I lost nothing. I started at 138.8lb and I actually gained weight for a little bit and today I weigh 138.8lb and I don't see that going down tomorrow (sigh).

I ate 400-800 calories (CARBS, UGH) usually, I tried to track the calories but with no internet at my house I can't track accurately. I'm getting really depressed about this, I can't even lose weight anymore. I need to exercise more but we're going in to winter so I can't run in the mornings anymore but I have exercise routines I could do and on the weekend when my hubbys home we could go hiking or a go through a forest walk track. (I live in New Zealand, there's heaps of forest walks, hikes ect to do) if it's not raining.. If not, he's going to have to put up with my exercising in the living room (we have a tiny 3 room house).

So, I think from tomorrow until next Wednesday I'll still make an effort to eat vegan, but it's not a necessity anymore. I'm going to cut my carbs to 30, so my macros will be something like 30c/30f/40p. I'll also vouch to exercise everyday for at least 30 minutes of cardio and a run if it's not raining/too wet (slippery roads). Guys, if you have ANY advice for me to help me lose weight. I NEED to lose as much weight as possible in 4 weeks because my best friend is coming to stay with us for a couple days. I try fasting, but it doesn't do much. My stats are correct, so if anyone can help me :( (my goal weigh at the moment is 111lb, that would mean I'd have lost 100lb!!!!) please, please, please help me. Any advice, tips, tricks, diets, anything!

---

[Tip] PSA: If you order a venti at starbucks, you will get a TRENTA instead.
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Mon May 23 14:42:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kq3aj/psa_if_you_order_a_venti_at_starbucks_you_will/
---
I don't know if it's just my local store and I don't know how long this promotion will last, but my sister just came back from starbucks and told me she ordered a venti and got a free 'upgrade' to trenta.

If you happen to want a venti from starbucks, make sure you specifically tell them not to give you a trenta instead.

---

[Rant/Rave] hyped myself up to run today (first day of water fast).
/u/sternums [5'2 | :( | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon May 23 14:32:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kq1e5/hyped_myself_up_to_run_today_first_day_of_water/
---
just to figure out my apartment's gym is closed off due to construction!!! which who knows how long it will take? I just finished a week long binge and I neeeed to run or something, ugh. I can't drive so I can't go anywhere else. It's frustrating.

---

[Help] Reached my GW then overate :( thinking of fasting
/u/prettyvac4nt [5' | 105lb | 21.6 | -18lb | F]
Created: Mon May 23 14:08:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kpx53/reached_my_gw_then_overate_thinking_of_fasting/
---
So last week I reached my first GW - 105lb. I haven't seen that number since last year!
Then my ex tried to upset me, but it made me more determined to be stay on track.

Then yesterday my boyfriend wanted to take me on a date night, I asked for tapas (good way to pick and not eat too much) and suggested a place I know with a really big menu.
He wanted to take me somewhere new (I hate food surprises) and the menu was really tiny (I hate lack of choice). But I managed to have a small meal and nothing too unhealthy.

Then it all went downhill because we ended up having lots of cocktails then he made me an English breakfast this morning before I went home.
And now I've been at home all day by myself I've been feeling progressively worse about the calorie overload of last night and this morning. Just totally shit, guilty, fat, gross :/

I've got a big event on Sunday night - it's really important to me to feel confident and look good, or at the very least to try and be as un-bloated as possible (I get such bad bloating sometimes that I actually look pregnant).

I'm thinking of trying to liquid fast until then, I could have black coffee, chai tea, low calorie mug soups, etc.

Also I have an exam on Friday morning so I need to be in alright condition for that so I don't make any silly mistakes. If fasting is too hard I could have some 500 calorie days which I've been doing recently.

Guess I just needed to tell someone about how I'm feeling, any advice welcomed :)

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else LOVE fasting?
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 137 lbs | -14 | GW 115 | 22.11 | F]
Created: Mon May 23 13:00:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kpkl5/does_anyone_else_love_fasting/
---
So most of my ED has been b/ping and when I get "help" to stop purging, then it's just binging lmao. Restricting is rewarding, but such a struggle for someone like me who likes to binge, and so easy to binge once you get off track even a little.


But man, fasting is a completely different story. The first few hours are tough of course and it can be hard to resist family/friends eating around you, but man staying on track makes me feel invincible tbh. It's basically the opposite of binging too, so I feel so victorious, basically proving to myself that my appetite has no power over me. Plus I get so much more done when I'm not focused on food! I just wonder if I'm alone in this, haha.

---

[Discussion] Do you have any goals for this week? Big or little?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Mon May 23 12:14:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kpbm2/do_you_have_any_goals_for_this_week_big_or_little/
---
I wat to hear all about them. C: seeing everyone's reasons to stay determined is really motivating!

---

[Other] Date ideas that don't revolve around food or alcohol...
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9" | CW fat | UGW 125 LBS | -14 lbs | female]
Created: Mon May 23 11:58:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kp8pt/date_ideas_that_dont_revolve_around_food_or/
---
Is anyone else annoyed that dinner and/or drinks is the default date activity? I'm trying to think of dates that allow you to socialize without using food as a conduit for connection but still focus on conversation as the important part of the date, if that makes sense.

So far, my go-to first date ideas are coffee/tea or a chill hookah bar.
Any more ideas?

---

[Discussion] I was ok. & then not..
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Mon May 23 11:45:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kp6as/i_was_ok_then_not/
---
I was doing really well. It's been nearly 2 weeks of eating small, healthy meals in the morning and a solid exercise plan. I wasn't bingeing i wasn't making myself throw up. I wasn't weak I was finw. Like really really fine. Not the ^fine I always say I am but I'm actually dying inside. But then I wasnt. I ate so so so sooooo fucking much today. I cant even tell you its unspeakable... it had to come out. It came out. Huge chunks of muffin and pasta.. cheap pop running down my nose. I wish bulimia was as pretty as it looks in the pictures..

---

[Goal] Me and my wonderful SO plan to move in together in the next year or two
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon May 23 11:38:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kp4ul/me_and_my_wonderful_so_plan_to_move_in_together/
---
And I can't believe how excited I am to be even more broke. No enormous amounts tempting snacks like at my lovely grandma's house, no super caloric home cooked meals that make me look like a dick to refuse, and my diets will be a LOT easier to stick too. I binged today and yesterday :/ so I'm looking to the bright side of things haha.

---

[Discussion] Mineral oil?
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Mon May 23 11:34:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kp45p/mineral_oil/
---
Hey guys, so for those who use laxatives, have any of you used mineral oil before? If so what was the result? Thanks and I hope you guys feel okay today <3
Edit: sorry I can't flair I'm on mobile

---

[Other] 30 lbs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 23 11:18:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kp1ad/30_lbs/
---
http://imgur.com/zbOQSYu

---

[Goal] I feel like I am ready to maintain
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon May 23 10:32:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kot3e/i_feel_like_i_am_ready_to_maintain/
---
I'm miles away from what I would love to look like but for now, idk how, I feel ok with what I see. Probably because times are a bit easier and I don't need the restriction to feel in control. I just, I don't know HOW. It was so black and white for ages, I would eat nothing or I would eat everything.

Anyone got some tips?

---

Oh my god
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 23 10:30:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kosov/oh_my_god/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/e4650014c8934942bb7d06bd575d75fc?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c54effb97eb098883b90709dfbc24c49

---

[Intro] Started to purge, figured it was about time to stop lurking (Intro)
/u/missmadime [5'6" | oh god | -20lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 23 10:21:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kor3n/started_to_purge_figured_it_was_about_time_to/
---
(Official intro time! I've posted here once before and lurked countless times, but I wanted to introduce myself formally to y'all because it's time for me to have a support system, it's time for me to make friends I can truly be honest with, and it's time for me to not feel so alone and so in my head....)

On to the fun stuff,

I guess I've never had an eating disorder. I mean, not a formally diagnosed one. My therapy sessions have never touched on my weird relationship with food, a doctor has never told me I weigh too much or too little. I still don't know if I'm in the right place. If I'm not, don't hesitate to tell me to GTFO. I won't be mad.
But I used to binge. A lot. It all started in middle school when my dad lost his job and due to my parents' lack of financial skills, we became incredibly poor and I'd sustain myself on bullshit food, and I didn't care. I was happy to eat entire $1 pizzas (little devils..still refuse to touch them now. Too little self control.) I was happy to binge on entire bags of Doritos and Funions and Frito Pie every Friday at my friend's house. I was happy to reward myself for a job well done with super fatty greasy disgusting hamburgers. I loved it.
But at the same time I didn't. I would scream at myself and cry and hate myself and tell myself to die die die. So fat. Disgusting. Look at yourself. You don't deserve this cookie. Don't you want to be beautiful? I did. I do. (Not eating that cookie is coming so so much easier now..but I'll get to that.)

My Mom has always been the perfect picture of how an eating disorder can be wonderful. She's 5'4 and never weighs more than 105. She would skip meals, instead choosing to drink coffee and smoke a cig and oh god the attention she would receive, even from my male friends. I was always so jealous. She looks good in anything. She would always judge-not-judge me and I would say I don't care, I want that cake anyways, but all the while I would want to cut the fat right out of me the whole time. Because I totally did care. She's so thin and pretty. At almost 50 she STILL gets stared at in the mall.

I guess I'm getting off topic a bit. Back to me. Things have gotten different this past year. I've found a reason to not binge, and now restricting has become so easy and so enjoyable. Challenging myself to fast just a little more, "you can do it girl, look how strong you are," it's even more addicting than the most wonderful Mexican food.

My reason, India. I moved to India because of a crazy TV-show-type-reason and the food here is totally different. Everything is more difficult to get, and processed food are practically unheard of. Frozen pizzas? They don't even exist. OVENS don't really exist here. (No baking for me!) If you want that taco, you better be prepared to make everything, even the tortilla, from scratch. Being lazy sometimes has its perks. I'd fast for nearly 24 hours just because I didn't feel like cooking.

And then there's this boy. Yes, I met a boy, and god is he beautiful. He goes to the gym every day and those shoulders...
Anyways, for whatever reason he likes me back. Even though I'm a disgusting piece of lard. But in this country, being thin is almost mandatory, and people don't have the verbal filter they do in America. Some of the things he says hurts, some of the things other people say hurts. (But I'll get skinny enough in time so that they don't hurt. Not anymore.)
But yes, my boyfriend. He's such a huge source of motivation, both the good and bad types. It's pushing me to go even farther with this and I love it (and hate it..it's a weird mix). This past month I've averaged about 2000 calories a week. A WEEK. (Aren't y'all proud of me? I am.) I'm finally doing what my head wants, what I've never had the willpower to do before.

Last summer, just by living here, I lost about 15 pounds in 3 months. That's more than I could ever say in America.
But then I broke my foot in a car wreck and went back to America for a month and binged like my life depended on it, and I gained it all back. (die die die)
Boyfriend, in his wonderful lack of food and psychology knowledge, has completely encouraged my recent restricting surge since I've been back and the positive feedback is enough to power me for days. Fuck food. His encouragement is all the nutrition I need (and my daily vitamins of course..)

I've lost 20lbs in the past month.

Doing this had made me feel better about myself than I have in YEARS. I'm finally taking control of myself, my body, and my life, and I love love love it. Maybe I can finally be thin and pretty....My crazy mafia boss controls my work life, my crazy father controls my home life, crazy Indian society controls everything else...this one, this one is mine.

Ok I'm rambling. I don't know if any of this was even coherent or who would even read this. I'm sorry.
I just wanted to say Hi.

---

[Rant/Rave] Vanity sizing
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Mon May 23 10:20:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4koqtb/vanity_sizing/
---
Can I just say how fed up I am with vanity sizing? I went to Target yesterday and found a few dresses on clearance that I thought were cute. I tried on a size S - too big. So then I tried on an XS thinking it would fit perfectly and I was so excited about it because it was a cute dress that was like 40% off. Guess what? It was too big. Seriously? I'm not even underweight - there is no reason an XS should be too big on me. Does Target just not expect small people to shop at their store?

On another note, where do you guys shop? IIRC H&M runs a bit small so I think I'm going to shop there this week or next. I'm happy I've lost weight but all my clothes look baggy and ridiculous on me. What stores DON'T use vanity sizing/are true to size?

/endrant

---

[Other] blessing in a (shit storm) disguise.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 23 10:06:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4koo73/blessing_in_a_shit_storm_disguise/
---
TMI: poop talk.

So this weekend I visited my mother with babyman, as I promised her we'd attending a 'farewell' BBQ for a woman with a terminal illness (side note: the lady died before the BBQ, but she insisted that her family still host the party so...yeah, it was kind of weird).

The Friday night before we left, I came down with terrible stomach cramps, diarrhea, bloating, and gas pains. I had no idea why, considering all I had for dinner was a Salami and Swiss cheese sandwich. Needless to say Saturday morning I still felt the same but I promised we'd attend the BBQ.

So I go to the BBQ, still feeling like crap but I eat cause it would be hella awkward if I just sat around not eating while everyone else dug in. I'm not going to go over what I had; it was 1 plate of food plus cake, if I had to guess, cals probably came out to 1200 ( most of them attributed to the cake).

So party is over, we go back to my mom's place, and by now I'm in SO much pain and I'm so bloated. I keep going to the bathroom hoping for uh... an 'evacuation', only to have nothing pass besides teaser turds (heh).

Sunday morning my mom wants to go to IHOP. oy. I agree because the last time I was at an IHOP was...15 years ago? I got some food, it was pretty good, probably high cal, but by this point I didn't care anymore, I just wanted to poop.

We finish up, do some shopping, head back to her house and I'm dying. I lay on the ground because the gas pains were making it hard to breathe/stand, and my mom asked me if I was pregnant again. I look down and I'm so bloated it looks like I'm 6 months pregnant.

I spent the rest of the day in a gas pain stupor, then drove babyman and I home, farting the entire way (poor babyman). Unfortunately every time I'd fart I'd feel like 10 seconds of relief, only to have that replaced by more gas and bloating. Jesus Christ it was terrible.

Got home and the first thing my husband said was "why are you so pale? you don't look so good". Then he gave me a Wendy's spicy chicken wrap, I ate it, and rationalized that I have nothing to lose at this point. Soon after we debated if I should go to the hospital, decided against it, tried some home remedies, nothing worked, so I locked myself in the bedroom, opened a window, and prayed that I'd just fart my way to sleep.

And then at 1 am, it happened. And it kept happening on the hour, every hour, until it was time to get up. Unfortunately I was way too tired to work out, however when I weighed myself I was down to 111 lbs. This is the first time...(ever?) that I've started the week at a lower weight than the previous week. The "event" at 1 am literally cleaned me out of seemingly everything from the previous few days.

I know I'm probably hella dehydrated, but it felt good to see 111 lbs despite eating a bunch of shit and feeling like shit for 3 days.

As of now I still feel a bit iffy, and like there could be another event later (hurray?). I contemplated fasting today, and I probably should have, but I'm worried about my milk supply being fucked up from dehydration/malabsorption of nutrients.

In any case, my ED is pleased to see 111 lbs on the scale, despite having to go through a literal shit storm to get there. How messed up is that? ahh oh well.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 23 10:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4konn6/daily_food_diary_may_23_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] Vent: Just ate a WHOLE bag of mini toblerones
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 23 09:23:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kogaq/vent_just_ate_a_whole_bag_of_mini_toblerones/
---
[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Finally making progress on my legs
/u/Hello_Mellow_Yellow [5'2.5"|99|18.4|F]
Created: Mon May 23 09:14:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4koerh/finally_making_progress_on_my_legs/
---
http://imgur.com/a/C27r2

---

[Help] Question about laxatives.
/u/hellosex
Created: Mon May 23 06:41:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4knqic/question_about_laxatives/
---
What is the safest laxative? Is docusate sodium considered a laxative?

I know laxatives are considered a last resort. I don't intend to take one to lose weight. I just seriously have trouble "going" when I'm restricting. How many days do you go without "going" before taking a laxative? It's just frustrating and uncomfortable :(

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! May 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 23 06:03:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4knlpp/weekly_stats_update_may_23_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for May 23, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Help] A week of food ahead of me. I need calming..
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 | 27/F | SW: >230lbs - CW: 95lbs - GW: 90lbs OR 95lbs+muscle]
Created: Mon May 23 05:44:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4knjhw/a_week_of_food_ahead_of_me_i_need_calming/
---
Wednesday, meal with parents. They are not cooking healthy (least it overlaps training day).

Friday, training day, have to eat.

Saturday, meal with parents.. taking me out, to a very very fancy place.. with zero low cal options.

Sunday, training day, have to eat.

Following Monday, attending a fair with my boyfriend, where I wont be able to resist at all.. not that it would be a good idea, boyfriend will know somethings up if I don't eat fair food. I always do. Usually though I get to restrict/fast before it to allow for it though.

I can't get out of these events. I desperately just want to feel better.. ideally I would fast today, tomorrow, and Thursday but I have been CRAP at fasting recently. Just crap. And even if I did fast those days, I still wont end up in a deficit for a while...

Wondering whether to bite the bullet and just fucking eat the whole week and not count any calories, but I know I'll feel horrible horrible horrible come next Tuesday if I do.

I don't know what to do.

---

[Discussion] What do you do after a binge?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Mon May 23 05:42:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4knj9x/what_do_you_do_after_a_binge/
---
Usually I fast after binging but lately, that's been triggering another binge and usually purging after.

---

[Tip] Update[Tip]
/u/Skinnybabyshh [5'4" | 95 (GW 110) | 16.63 | -100 | F]
Created: Mon May 23 04:27:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4knbdu/updatetip/
---
Another weekend on epsom salt and green tea.
I weighed myself friday afternoon, and last ate friday morning. Saterday and yeterday it was just green tea and epsom salt. No food. And only ran 1km each day. Was a liiiittle low on motivation. Weighed myself this morning, and I'm down another 7lbs since friday. I had some crushed carrots and cooked spinach, and some milk coffee.

---

[Discussion] Period Weight??
/u/sailorstar1919 [5'6 | CW 140 | GW 125 | -17lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 23 04:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kn8wx/period_weight/
---
Hi everyone

So I have been on the contraceptive implant for almost 9 years, and the injection before that and I have been lucky enough not to have a period the whole time (it's seriously amazing) But the last couple of months I have been having periods and PMS (not cool) the worst thing is the scale seems to jump up 1-2lbs in the lead up no matter what I do. The last time I had a period I didn't watch my weight at all, so I just wondered is this normal? and can anyone recommend a way to avoid the gain? How do other people cope? When I see the gain I just want to cry (that might also be the PMS)

---

[Discussion] [Discussion] Period Weight??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 23 03:38:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kn6lf/discussion_period_weight/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] The frustration continues....
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Mon May 23 03:10:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kn3tg/the_frustration_continues/
---
I don't know why I have this uncontrollable urge to sabotage my progress. I was really good last week, I mean I was under my goal everyday and lost about 2kg (4lbs)! Some water weight granted, but it was still more then I lost in a week for a long time!
I was so happy, felt that things were really starting to get going.
The the weekend.....BAM! Husband comes home with cheese and wine, I down it all! BAM! Brunch on Sunday and I eat sooooo much! And BAM! Monday morning all progress lost!

I really have no idea what is wrong with my head for me to do this.
I am restricting, but far from starving. All the eating really had nothing to do with hunger!

Week goal: Loose the 2 kg AGAIN and keep it off (at least a week), so I can change my flair! That is one of the things that motivates me, I want to be able to change my flair, and show that I'm not completely useless.

Hope everyone else had a better weekend! <3

---

[Help] How to properly EC stack?
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 23 00:53:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kmqgb/how_to_properly_ec_stack/
---
I've gone through tons of old posts but for such a long time I never stopped to read any that might have been about EC stacks, mainly because I didn't know what they were.

Now I've began to look into it and am wondering what advice you all can give to successfully and as SAFELY as possible begin an EC Stack.

Any and all information you know is welcome, I'm just trying to learn as much as I can.

thank you lovelies xx

---

How to probably EC stack?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 23 00:40:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kmp2n/how_to_probably_ec_stack/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Tried Zero konjac fettucine (5 calorie pasta) today
/u/katiejay_ [5"9 | Godzilla | BMI 26 | F]
Created: Mon May 23 00:37:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kmoov/tried_zero_konjac_fettucine_5_calorie_pasta_today/
---
...and now it's in the bin. I gagged on the first bite, after FRYING it and adding a seasoning I like. Nothing can get me past the texture. Waste of money! Has anyone found a way to cook it that doesn't make me want to never eat anything new again in my life?

---

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] started to turn to food when i'm fustrated
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 | -12.4 | 20 y/o F]
Created: Sun May 22 23:56:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kmk2b/rant_started_to_turn_to_food_when_im_fustrated/
---
i never did this before. usually, when I am stressed or angry or annoyed, i just would not eat anything.

but since not eating is the norm now, apparently it is now rhe other way round

so after hitting a new low weight last week, i binged and fasted binged and fasted, everytime something upset me.

i have atm problems in my relationship (thinking about breaking up), massive stress in uni (so many exams and I'm thinking that I am too stupid for my major) and all that binging made me gain around a kg again, so that adds to it too

also i sleep really badly, and not nearly enough, because i cant get my body and my brain to just calm down.

i dont want to turn to food when stressed, i dont even enjoy it

it seems more like punishment, because i'll binge until I feel really sick

anyone else does this out of a sudden? or has tips for a few more un-self-destructive coping mechanisms? i used to selfharm (trying not to do it since some time, but failing every few months) so maybe that just replaces that xP

(sorry for the spelling, i'm on mobile and pretty useless when it comes to typing on a touch screen)

---

[Other] Changes to nutrition facts label, this is awesome
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Sun May 22 23:56:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kmk25/changes_to_nutrition_facts_label_this_is_awesome/
---
http://www.fda.gov/Food/GuidanceRegulation/GuidanceDocumentsRegulatoryInformation/LabelingNutrition/ucm385663.htm

---

[Help] Opinions about this food.
/u/throwthisinthetrahs
Created: Sun May 22 22:46:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kmbsk/opinions_about_this_food/
---
Using throwaway because my friends know my main account and I only lurk on this subreddit.

There is this food in denmark called Koldskål, I tried to google translate it but it didn't really work. It has 61 kcal in it/100g, it tastes like dessert and it makes you feel full. I thought I would share this, and maybe hear some feedback on what you guys think. [this is what it looks like](https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fd1kga0hijum0zx.cloudfront.net%2F380x380%2F701028.jpg&f=1)

---

[Thinspo] Bikini tummy in progress
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Sun May 22 20:55:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4klx1p/bikini_tummy_in_progress/
---
http://i.imgur.com/8cVQMgL.jpg

---

[Other] Research study on ED's looking for participants
/u/FoodBodyResearch
Created: Sun May 22 19:56:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4klot6/research_study_on_eds_looking_for_participants/
---
Hi, I am a doctoral student running an online study investigating the effects that negative childhood experiences have on eating behaviors. The study is confidential and anonymous and takes about an hour to complete. You will be asked various questions about your childhood, eating behaviors, and coping mechanisms. You are free to stop at any time if you feel triggered in any way by the questions. At the end of the study, you can enter to win one of several $100 gift cards, but you must complete the study in order to be entered.

To participate in the study click on the following link:

https://tinyurl.com/BodyExperiences

If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to the researcher, Alexandra Grundleger, LCSW at foodbodyresearch@gmail.com.

Thank you for your time.

---

[Rant/Rave] Happy Birthday to me
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 95 lb | 19.54 | -32 lb | FTM]
Created: Sun May 22 19:20:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kljvu/happy_birthday_to_me/
---
Well, today has been full of both ups and downs, so I'm fairly thankful that this flair covers both. Also, the past two months (and *especially* the past week) have been utterly hellish for other reasons, so I apologize in advance if I get off topic.

So, the following:

**Rants:**

* As the title indicates, today was my birthday (or its celebration, at least). A celebration means food, a ridiculous amount of it. Even though I had today marked as a "cheat day" and had been conserving my calories for it, a.) there was much more food than I thought and b.) I wasn't able to restrict as much as I wanted to for the past week.

* My mother got on my case about how all my friends have supposedly gained weight... While I haven't noticed myself, regardless of whether they gained, lost, or maintained, the fact remains that they have all both started off and remain thinner than I am. In fact, I got to compare myself quite conveniently when I was sitting next to two of them in the car to drop them off and they both had much thinner thighs than me.

* A few of the gifts I got involve food... Chocolate, jelly beans, and ice cream come to mind.

* In general, there is so much food in this house... The above mentioned gifts, half a pie of pizza, palmiers, kimbap, chips, a huge bag of pistachios, cornbread, leftover cake, and that doesn't even begin to touch what we already had in the house - still a gargantuan amount.

* In two days we're celebrating *again*, this time with family. At an Italian place, joy.

**Raves:**

* I put on my binder this morning and it was much, much too large for me - it barely bound the way it used to, and even though my stomach is far from being concave or even flat there was so much room between it and my torso when it's supposed to be skintight. This is kind of annoying in that binders are expensive, but knowing that I should go a size down makes me feel better (and means that I probably pass better now even without a binder!)

* Towards the end of the party, my friend (who is much thinner, and probably lighter, than me) lifted me up while giving me a hug and said "Woah, you're so light!" Don't know if this means that I look heavy - probably does, but right now I'll take what I can get.

* I underestimated the amount of food twenty-something sleep deprived teenagers can eat, and while we still have a lot of leftovers I expected it to be a lot, lot worse. Thank fuck.

* My parents love chocolate and haven't been in great moods lately, so I'll give as much of the chocolatey gifts to them. To be quite honest, with how our lives have been lately and how - excuse my French - shitty of a child I have been, they deserve it much more than I ever have or will.

* A friend's gift to me included matcha! ~~bless their soul~~

* Another friend's gift to me was a t-shirt, in extra small, that is still quite large on me. This is likely an adult's extra small, plus I'm short, plus vanity sizing, but again I'll take what I can get.

* The Italian restaurant we were planning on going to got switched to essentially a fancy pizza place - still not the best, but better. Even eating two slices and a dessert - although hopefully I'll be able to get away with less - would be lower calorie than anything the other restaurant had.

* I can miss an altar server's party because of an orientation for a summer program, meaning less food! ~~blessed be the Lord indeed~~

* I only recently realized that yes, flute can be considered exercise, I'm an idiot. And statewide exams are coming up, which means more practice. I would usually hate this, but damn if this isn't the most convenient thing.

* I had to miss drumming practice today because of the celebration, but there's no way I can miss any more practices due to an extremely important performance coming up next month. Practices fall on the same days as a church group barbeque and outdoor mass (which is always followed by a barbeque). There's a good chance that I can miss *both* of them.

* I feel bad right now, but somehow more than that I feel determined to lose more and work harder. It may wear off, I don't know, but for now at least it's good.

This got quite long, I apologize... This is what's going on in my life right now, I guess!

---

[Help] My goal is to drop about 10-15 pounds this summer, is this possible...?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 22 18:48:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4klffh/my_goal_is_to_drop_about_1015_pounds_this_summer/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] I'm fat because I drink too much
/u/somanybigbutts [|5'6 | 104.5|16.19|F|]
Created: Sun May 22 18:33:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kldes/im_fat_because_i_drink_too_much/
---
My dad is a full on alcoholic and my mum has alcoholic tendencies without being completely dependent. Because of that I'm at least 75% more likely to develop alcoholism. I've known that I have binge drinking problems in the past, but I can't stop. Pretty much any time I have the opportunity to drink, I will, and I'll definitely take booze over food if I have to choose. I really don't eat too much, it's the drinking where I get most of my calories which makes me gain all this weight. I'm also heavily dependent on marijuana, and while both aren't really effecting my day to day life yet, I'm afraid that I'm on a fast train to fuckupsville. I don't know what to do, I just feel like a failure. Does anyone else here deal with substance abuse issues?

---

[Help] Guys I need your encouragement right now
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 156.5 | 21.89 | -26.5 | F]
Created: Sun May 22 16:39:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kkwmp/guys_i_need_your_encouragement_right_now/
---
So I'm currently not on all my meds (but will be soon, thank god) and therefore my emotions fluctuate all the time. So when something bad happens, or I get upset, I want to comfort myself with my old favorite foods. Meaning incredibly unhealthy, calorie-laden crap. It doesn't even work anymore. Now I just feel like shit after I eat whatever it is, but that doesn't stop me from trying to chase the comfort I used to get from them. It's a losing situation all around clearly.

Logically I know that as soon as I stop eating, I'll feel just as bad if not worse. But I still want those things, and if I continue feeling awful for a period of time, it's like my willpower wears down further and further until I cave and eat. Obviously once I get back on my medicine this won't be as bad, but until then (like now), how do I completely convince myself that getting a nice burrito won't actually help me?

---

[Rant/Rave] Why do people have to be so two faced
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Sun May 22 16:25:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kkud9/why_do_people_have_to_be_so_two_faced/
---
So this is stupid I'm getting told now just to eat what the hell I eat on a 120 a month and I really don't give a hell I'm sick of always waiting for something to be made and getting bitched out for what I do eat and did I mention almost half of my food stamps got taken and I didn't even want nobody to even use my food stamps this month but they come crying that the kids are hungry and boom there goes over 30 dollars get your shit straight and find a way to feed the 6 kids you have and not rely on me to help out end of bullshit rant. Edit:I'm Bananas and fuck life

---

[Rant/Rave] Starting IOP tomorrow and I've gained 8 lbs this week from binging. 😑🔫
/u/_theninthcircle
Created: Sun May 22 16:24:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kku6r/starting_iop_tomorrow_and_ive_gained_8_lbs_this/
---
Had my intake on Monday, after hitting a new LW. Binged every night since. I'm going to get laughed out of the program when I show up tomorrow looking like a fat hack. My pants that were falling off last week are snug. I'm taking water pills by the handful to try and minimize the damage but I can't stop stuffing my face. URGH.

Sorry mods, on mobile.

Edit: I CAN'T EVEN SPELL BINGEING RIGHT 😶

---

[Help] EC Stack not working...
/u/married_to_a_reddito
Created: Sun May 22 14:44:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kken4/ec_stack_not_working/
---
So I take one bronkaid and one caffeine pill and I'm still starving like I didn't take anything. What gives? Any advice to make this more effective? I can't drink coffee or tea, and frankly with the caffeine pill I wouldn't want more caffeine anyhow. What could I be doing wrong? I'm trying the ABC diet so I need this stack. If I can't stick to the diet I at least want to do 500 calories a day.

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Emotionally earring out of self hate for my body while looking at other picture of pretty girls I could never look like in this life or the next one
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 22 14:20:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kkaiy/emotionally_earring_out_of_self_hate_for_my_body/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Today I went to the beach
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | 119.05 | 19.83 | -22 | F]
Created: Sun May 22 14:20:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kkahr/today_i_went_to_the_beach/
---
It was horrible.

Led me to a post beach binge due to my crippled esteem. Fucking seeing everyone's bodies and comparing myself killed me. Why the fuck is everyone so skinny???

---

[Discussion] Exam stress
/u/woollyshirt [5'7 | 63.2kg | 21.80 | -24.8kg | M/NB]
Created: Sun May 22 13:15:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kjzzm/exam_stress/
---
It's not just me suffering, right? My binge urges are seriously bad from all this stress whereas normally I'm ok :(

Anyone else struggling?

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[Other] My boyfriend and I just broke up... motivating and also depressing...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 22 12:43:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kjusk/my_boyfriend_and_i_just_broke_up_motivating_and/
---
I don't know how on topic this is... I just have no one to talk to and need to vent I think...

My boyfriend and I have been having some issues recently. I decided to break it off today, because of a lot of things...

The good news in the sheer guilt and sadness is a great appetite suppressant... no more having to go out on dinner dates... no more worrying him with my troubles... no more panic when my fat is touched or when taking my clothes off...

But I feel so isolated and sad now... he knew me better than anyone and he's gone. I'm alone.

---

[Help] Quick bronkaid question!
/u/mybfdoesntknowthis [5'3 | 140 | 25.49 | -16 lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 22 12:16:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kjq8u/quick_bronkaid_question/
---
Hi lovlies!

I was thinking of heading to my local cvs to pick up some bronkaid but I was wondering if I may have a reaction to it if I react very badly to Mucinex. I know I'm reacting to the Guaifenesin in it, and I know that bronkaid contains about 400 mg of it. I've always been really sensitive to it, to the point where I couldn't even take the kid's mucinex without spending all night at the toilet both pooping and vomiting simultaneously (super gross, TMI, sorry!!!).

Does anyone else take bronkaid but still react to mucinex?

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[Help] Has anyone eaten the same thing everyday for a long time? [Help]
/u/whiimsii
Created: Sun May 22 11:58:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kjnge/has_anyone_eaten_the_same_thing_everyday_for_a/
---
If yes, could you please share about your experience? Did it help you feel more stable at all? Are there any negative health consequences to eating the same meals everyday for a long time?

I don't know why I'm just now considering this but I'm an impulsive cookie and I don't do well with choices (that's how most of my binges happen actually). The least opportunity I have to act on impulse, the better.

It just now dawned on me how much simpler my life could potentially become if I just had the same thing everyday. No choices, no pacing around the supermarket thinking "maybe"s and "what if"s. Just routine. Always buy the same thing, cook the same meals, log the same amounts in your tracker... Brilliant!

I'm definitely someone who thrives on little routines and rituals and I'm thinking I could certainly come up with a more or less nutritionally adequate meal plan and follow it for... ages, really. I've had many phases where I loved a food so much that I'd just have it everyday for weeks without a problem. And I just realised that actually on work days I already have pretty much the same thing for breakfast (coffee) and lunch (a particular type of salad from a particular food chain). I don't mind food monotony at all.

Anyway do let me know if this is something you currently do or have done in the past. If yes, I'm super curious what your daily intake was and how you found it.
Is it doable and not totally unhealthy? Because I'd totally do it and I'm already kinda making up the meal plan in my head tbh, haha 😄

---

[Rant/Rave] Cake day rant again, sorry.
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 22 11:41:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kjkna/cake_day_rant_again_sorry/
---
Today's the day. I'm scared. That's all. You are the only people who would understand why. I've planned it out pretty carefully but I don't think I should calorie count or I may lose my mind. Here's hoping I can relax on the numbers for just one day.

My mom has me totally figured out now. I don't know how she reads me so well. We went clothes shopping and I had to get a new size (was 8-10, now 5-6, which are a little baggy). At my HW I was a 18 and XL shirt. She asked me if I could gain some weight. I'm about 29 lbs from my goal. This is going to be hard.

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[Rant/Rave] Just wanting to voice some of my frustrations and hopes re: fasting vs. restricting
/u/mivhi [5'1" | CW 108 | GW 103 | F]
Created: Sun May 22 11:00:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kje17/just_wanting_to_voice_some_of_my_frustrations_and/
---
It's been a literal roller coaster ride, at least from what I can tell looking at my weight loss graphs ... and I'm still very far from where I want to be. I've been adjusting my eating and exercise habits wildly, trying to cement only what works for my body and mind, but it's difficult to come up with a plan for the long-term. Maybe that's what I'm trying to figure out as I write this post.

I enjoy fasting because eating any amount of any type of food always seems to make me feel sluggish ... unless i'm active before and after eating? Honestly, it might depend on my mood, but it seems like I never experience anything positive once food is in my body. I don't feel energized or satisfied, only as if I fucked up. Fasting works for me if I can manage to eat only small portions of food to break the fast, but that is rare. Last night I had an entire apple and way too much crunchy peanut butter to break a 26hr fast... after eating one apple slice, i felt satisfied and could have happily stopped, but my plate was full and i had just taken the time to prepare it.... so i finished the apple and the peanut butter (I would have felt fine trashing it if I lived alone / wasn't poor). which triggered a mild binge. i had hummus and chia seed/quinoa pita chips. I'm estimating it was all about 870 cals which is not anywhere near as bad as some of the binges I've had lately (plus, i was smoking and watching a movie..felt i should enjoy myself at least WHILE eating), but it just seems totally unnecessary to eat at all when I only feel bad after.

It's been about nine hours since I ate and my stomach feels acidic and gross. I can barely exercise which is why I let myself eat in the first place -- hoping I would have energy this morning. I want to fast for longer so that my stomach completely empties out and i can introduce only safe foods to it..but i'm scared of binging again which is probably what has screwed up my digestive system in the first place? I'm also thinking that fasting/binging has made my body look awful, even though I resorted to fasting in the first place when I felt like exercise was making me too bulky.

Soo fasting for me has been leading to binges which I cannot tolerate anymore. The worst part is that they have happened in the middle of the night.. Last night I ate at 2am after a 26hr fast and plan to fast at least 24hrs today. I'm getting better about controlling binges because smaller amounts of food are making me feel sick due to all my recently adopted nasty habits like eating mostly only around bedtime and my penchant for drugs..

I want to find a sweet spot where i move further from fasting and back to restricting which has always worked best for me (lowest weight was achieved this way) but i'm currently so scared of gaining muscle and don't have a car to go walk anywhere nice. Currently living a sedentary lifestyle which really gets me depressed (or perpetuates my pre-existing depression?).. I guess I have to just take it day by day.

What works best for you? Fasting or restricting? Should I not worry about muscle growth/bulkiness until i've shed most of my fat?

For now, I think my plan is to 1) stop doing drugs 2) exercise at least a bit every day, the more the better 3) not eat any time between 8pm - 5am 4) make sure that i restrict if I do decide to break fasts 5) keep fasting intermittently until I feel better / lose about 10lbs

I don't know, it just seems weird that what drew me to fasting in the first place was Letting Go (ultimate goal is to not think about food at all; just forget it exists and eat only when good food options present themselves to me) but now I'm obsessed with holding on to fasting itself even though it's proving way less effective than restricting was for me. I hit my lowest weight eating around 1,000cals a day which seems so scary now. I just need to feel like I own my body again and enjoy exercise. Guess I've been depressed.

Sorry this was so long. I'm also hoping to engage in this community because silent obsession with eating/not eating is almost as distressing as being stuck in a cycle of binging/fasting

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun May 22 10:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kj510/daily_food_diary_may_22_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Intro] [Intro] Hi everyone!
/u/usmatade [5'5 | 127 | 20.09 | -17 | F]
Created: Sun May 22 09:46:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kj2s9/intro_hi_everyone/
---
Hi! I've been commenting a lot lately and figured I should write a short (lmao who am I kidding, this is going to be a 6-paragraph rant) introduction.
I lurked for ~7 months before writing anything here, then I wrote 1 comment, aaand went back to lurking. Let's hope that doesn't happen again!

Ok so basics about me: my flair isn't accurate BUT I'm always on mobile so I can't edit it (grrr). I'm not particularly short or tall imo but my friends have always called me tiny which makes me want to be thin as well (tiny but fat kinda makes me feel like a pilates ball 😡). I'm blonde and pale af, which is strange because both my parents, actually ALL my adult relatives have dark brown hair!

I live in Sweden so sadly no Halo Top for me. On the other hand the hot swedish girl stereotype is very motivating! This also means that my english is... Interesting at times so please bear with me, I swear I'm trying! I'm 16 years old and in the swedish version of high school. I'm doing the IBDP (currently in Pre-DP though). Next year I'm taking physics HL, psych HL, swe lit HL, eng lang&lit SL, math SL and chem SL in case anyone else is in the IB and curious (we can cry together).

My mom recently went from morbidly obese to just standard obese and thinks that she is the greatest nutritionist ever. This means that she comments on everything I eat and you can expect A LOT of rants about her from me 😂.

My eating and body image has always been odd. I remember being 4 years old and REFUSING to jump in front of my grandmother because my 'stomach was too big', and I wasn't overweight at all as a child. That came later, when I was 7 and discovered stress eating. Then at 10 I started restrict/binge cycling, and at 13 I suddenly got severe stress-induced emetophobia and refused to eat anything I had not personally prepared which meant huge weight loss which spiralled in to a full-blown eating disorder. But a lot of my old food habits have followed me into adulthood (ok teenagehood), such as hiding food in my room, hoarding water and having emergency boxes of food hidden everywhere. Google tells me that those things are signs of abuse but I don't think my parents are abusive at all so I'll consider them an extension of my ED.

I'm a pretty cheerful person and I love talking to other people so anyone who ever wants to chat is very welcome to send me a PM!

Let's make the best of it and have a good time together!

---

[Discussion] Feeling discouraged.
/u/tamarijuana
Created: Sun May 22 09:21:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kiyza/feeling_discouraged/
---
Guys, do any of you get discouraged when you binge or can't stop eating for a few weeks/months? Do any of you feel like your expectations of yourself are so high and instead of being motivated you become scared and try to hide from judgement by not going out as much/calling in suck to work? I just feel so alone in this right now, I want to get back on track so badly but I feel like I'm too far gone.

---

[Goal] This will be a fantastic week.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -38 | F]
Created: Sun May 22 08:48:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kiu1l/this_will_be_a_fantastic_week/
---
You know, why? Because I said so.

* I got paid and was able to get a box of Primatene again. It's just not the same missing the 'E' part of the EC stack.

* I have a warm cup of tea and tea makes everything better.

* I bought a few new items of clothing for Paris and I bought 3 XS tops and a S jacket. Even with vanity sizing, I feel good. They fit and will look even better in 15 pounds.

* With memorial day sales, I'll be able to buy a couple pairs of pants in a smaller size. My current pair of pants was bought 15 pounds ago, so it's time.

* This past week reminded me of how I felt when I slipped into old habits and how much worse it made me feel. The cracks let in the light.

I'm getting ready to go to a political rally and I'm in a good mood. I know moods don't last so I'm cherishing it while I'm in it.

I hope everyone has a fantastic Sunday and a lovely week.

---

[Intro] I might qualify as a "fringe eater"
/u/HollySquared
Created: Sun May 22 06:52:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kifm7/i_might_qualify_as_a_fringe_eater/
---
Thanks to this sub for introducing me to that term!

I don't (think that I) have an eating disorder, but I do have some special-snowflake issues when it comes to food that people in other weight-loss groups don't seem to be very open-minded about. My BMI (20.94 currently) is normal for my height, but my body fat percentage is ridiculously high (38%?!). So I just need to eat more protein and lift heavy, right? Nope, I can't do either of those things because I have lupus -- thanks to my meds, I get dizzy when I try to lift more than light weights, and I can't go overboard with the protein either.

Last fall I managed to get down to 110 pounds (BMI 17.83) by exercising daily (mostly cardio, with some light weights and bodyweight stuff mixed in) and eating 1500 calories of whatever I wanted. My body fat percentage was better, but still straddling the acceptable/unhealthy line. Over the past 6 months I stress-ate all of the weight back, partly because I was upset that even being underweight didn't fix my body fat issue. But now I'm thinking that maybe I just didn't lose enough weight. I'm half-Asian with a tiny frame, so maybe I should actually weigh 93 pounds or something. So I'm back to counting my calories and taking my measurements regularly, because the idea of visceral fat surrounding my organs scares the hell out of me.

My eating habits are more strict now too, because I recently realized that dairy REALLY upsets my stomach, so no more of that. My meds are also wreaking havoc on my blood sugar, so I'm only allowed 25 grams of sugar daily. Even with limited options, I like all of the food that I eat, but I often get grilled by other people about why I'm "starving" myself. I feel like I'm the normal one in that scenario, with American society/culture promoting eating disorders of the BED/COE variety.

Anyway... is it cool if I hang with you guys? I've been lurking here for a few weeks, and you all seem friendly and supportive. And unlike the other weight-related subs, you won't shit bricks if my goal BMI is under 18.5.

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[Help] What in the ever living fuck is going wrong here
/u/l-ostcaus-e [5ft 6| Fattest of the Fats | F | GW 1: - 15lbs | UGW: 99lbs]
Created: Sun May 22 04:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ki0gu/what_in_the_ever_living_fuck_is_going_wrong_here/
---
I am at the end of my fucking tether.

For months - no, YEARS - I've been plataued around 145lbs. I lose weight, it bounces back up to 144-145lbs in a matter of days. I can eat *anything* and *everything* for days straight and within a few days I'll be at 145lbs again. I have tried fucking *everything*. I restrict. I fast. I exercise. I don't eat 'bad' foods. I only ate low carb foods for a fortnight. I log all my foods. I drink water like it's going out of fashion. I've stopped drinking alcohol. MY WEIGHT DOES NOT CHANGE.

Example 1: A few weeks ago, I did a 48 hour fast. At the end of it, I'd dropped to 140lbs. Water weight, I'm guessing. I did not binge the day after the fast, I ate ~900calories for the next few days. BAM back up to 145lbs.

Example 2: Last week I weighed 144lbs dead. This week I have been to the gym 6 times, burning at the least 550 calories and at the most 1000 calories. I think the sum total of calories I've burnt this week in the gym was something like 3650 calories or something. So that should be a pound of weight lost in itself, right? On top of that I've been eating at a deficit. Not a major one but around 1000 calories - 1500 calories depending on the workout I've done. So again, there should be a net loss of calories there somewhere, right? So if we're combining the two numbers there should be a net defecit of at least 7000 calories. That's 2 pounds isn't it?

I weigh 145.4lbs this morning. I'VE GAINED A FUCKING POUND AND A HALF.

WHAT THE FUCK ELSE CAN I DO.

I am *so fucking sick* of this weight. I hate it. I hate it so much. I can't stand it :( It's not even muscle mass, as you can see my body legitimately hasn't changed at all since I started going to the gym a few months ago. Short of starving myself and never ever eating again, and working out for at least 2 hours a day every day I don't know what to do. :*(

ETA - Couple of things I forgot to put in. My lowest weight was 132lbs, which I maintained for about a week before it steadily crept back up to 145lbs and then stopped and plateau'd again. The longest 'lowest' weight I've maintained was 138lbs, which I maintained for about 4 months over last summer when I was running 4 - 6 miles every single day without fail, sometimes twice a day, and was eating about 1000 calories total. I've also just been diagnosed with mild PCOS which is terrifying the fuck out of me and spurring me on into 'NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT' ground.

---

[Help] Guys, I'm kind of freaking out
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 142 | 24.4 | -24 | F]
Created: Sun May 22 02:49:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4khtcd/guys_im_kind_of_freaking_out/
---
I just came across a post from r/fatlogic (linked below), talking about how fitness trackers aren't accurate and overestimate calories. For me, getting a fitbit has been really helpful in keeping my sanity. As long as I can know exactly how many calories I've burnt, and I can log my food to make sure that I stay within the range of deficit that I want, I don't go TOO off the rails. But right now knowing that the trackers are inaccurate is making me really anxious. I feel like since I can't calculate the numbers exactly, I should eat nothing/almost nothing just to be sure that I'm not overeating. Is there anything that will track calories burnt exactly?!?


https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/4kfs9g/fitness_trackers_overestimate_calorie_burn_at_a/

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[Help] If I don't shut up, he's going to figure it out. Help w/ live-in SO?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 21 23:12:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kh9od/if_i_dont_shut_up_hes_going_to_figure_it_out_help/
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I am having a hard time not talking out my food and exercise decisions, celebrating every pound, and showing off any change in my body. I've never lived with anyone while restricting. I need to SHUT MY DAMN MOUTH or I'm going to end up with a husband/babysitter. My weight itself isn't going to be a tell for a while (I'm huge) but I am starting to lose at a faster clip. But my big mouth and the change might be an issue.

Any tips on how to deal with a live-in SO? I am home by myself (work-at-home) until dinner time, so I have no issue restricting for breakfast and lunch, hiding ECA, and sneaking in an extra workout, but dinner and weekends are hard.

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[Rant/Rave] this is going to be long and pointless so feel free to skip
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 21 22:50:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kh7ho/this_is_going_to_be_long_and_pointless_so_feel/
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I'm allowing myself to be a little vulnerable which I absolutely hate with a passion. I'm always the strong one that nothing bothers until I get home and drink and cry myself to sleep but no one can know that. I've been thinking about this a lot and as dumb as it seems I feel like the only friends I truly have are this sub. Every "true" friend I've had has used me and has never actually truly cared about me which has just really thrown me for a loop. But here people are really supportive and helpful. I unsubscribed for like a week bc I thought "no one gives a fuck about me why does it matter" bc that's what I think about everyone, but that only lasted a week and I tried to get over my bias. I just feel very alone and useless and honestly don't see what's so damn great about living that everyone tries to convince me of, but at least here I feel at least a little welcomed. So I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you.

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[Help] Question about when to eat.
/u/threwingdisaway
Created: Sat May 21 21:36:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kgyvc/question_about_when_to_eat/
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So, studies show that eating early in the morning helps you lose more weight, but it makes me look fat when I do and makes me more hungry, so what should I do?

Using throwaway because friends know my main reddit account.

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[Goal] So apparently I'm a nine-year-old.
/u/princecalorie [BMI: 20.23 | Vegetarian | M]
Created: Sat May 21 20:33:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kgr4e/so_apparently_im_a_nineyearold/
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I bought a waistcoat in the size for a nine-year-old a few days back, because I needed a black waistcoat and that was the largest in the childrens' section, and the adult section only went down to a 36" chest. It had no measurements marked, but I thought I'd chance it. I doubted it'd fit, but thought I could lose weight before the function I needed it for.

It buttons up perfectly. A little short, but I can belt my trousers up a little higher to hide that. I'm so happy.

---

[Rant/Rave] Good news and bad news
/u/starry_daydreamer [4'11" | 99 lbs | 21.2 | F]
Created: Sat May 21 19:46:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kgl20/good_news_and_bad_news/
---
Hey, so I'm on mobile so I apologize for the lack of flair.

In hindsight, I should probably have done an intro first...

So today I finally found my scale after like a month of it being missing (we're in the process of moving and my parents packed it away). It's really nice to be able to see my weight again, but I gained FIVE WHOLE POUNDS in that month and almost had a meltdown after seeing such a high number :(

Also, being at home means that I can't even restrict properly, which means I'll get even fatter than I already am. I can't wait to go to university in September.

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[Help] How do I tell my therapist?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat May 21 19:39:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kgk21/how_do_i_tell_my_therapist/
---
Hi everyone.

I've gotten to the point where I trust my therapist enough to tell her about more than just my school stress. I want to bring up my eating issues, but I'm not sure how to do it right.

I do mild restriction and purging without all-out binging, mostly. Restriction I have no problem with and definitely want to continue, but I need to put an end to my excess eating and purging before I gain too much weight. I want to make it clear to my therapist that I do not want to stop restricting until it becomes too dangerous (like I get to a sub-16 bmi or start to faint), but I do want to stop purging. How can I address this tactfully?

Additionally, what have been your experiences with telling people about your issues? I am afraid my therapist is going to want to put me in inpatient or something, but I am obviously not bad enough to deserve that.

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[Help] How to avoid period binges?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Sat May 21 19:31:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kgj1e/how_to_avoid_period_binges/
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how the hell do you do this?? any tips for stopping yourself eating tonnes of food while your hormones are going crazy??

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[Rant/Rave] I can't stop binging today.
/u/mybfdoesntknowthis [5'3 | 140 | 25.49 | -16 lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 21 18:44:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kgcn4/i_cant_stop_binging_today/
---
Sorry, on mobile can't flair. I feel so out of control. Breakfast tacos, chips and sodas, whataburger, frozen yogurt and I'm still hungry. I don't know what to do but I feel so awful and gross. I'm trying not to purge but god I'm so gross and fat.

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[Other] when people notice youve lost weight
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 21 18:15:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kg8pb/when_people_notice_youve_lost_weight/
---
Usually that should be a good thing right? It should make me happy. But honestly anytime anyone says anything I just get a pang of fear. I think it's bc I work in a hospital so to them, since they know I was already a normal weight, losing weight means a problem. I guess I'm afraid of them finding out. And I work in a psych hospital so that makes it even scarier bc I don't want them to actually do anything about it. Doctors and nurses both have commented on it but instead of just a passing comment, since they're health professionals, it's always "are you ok? Are you eating?" It's not in a mean or judgmental way, always a concerned way. I just always freeze and don't know what to say. Obviously I'm not gonna be like "for sure! I've lost 25lbs!" I always pass it off as stress but idk. It just happened and wanted to share bc I can't tell anyone else.

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[Rant/Rave] Today, I got really possessive of my fried peach pie...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 21 17:21:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kg182/today_i_got_really_possessive_of_my_fried_peach/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Hiding Exhaustion
/u/IvoryFlyaway [6' | 218.5 | 28.5 | -18.5 | M]
Created: Sat May 21 16:28:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kft9m/hiding_exhaustion/
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First time posting here. My partner is well aware of my ED relapse and has been really monitoring me. I have been able to hide it well enough, but I my sexual endurance has plummeted and I get light headed very easily and need to take frequent breaks. This has started getting them to ask more questions. Does anyone have any tips on how to get quick energy?

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[Other] So inappropriate!
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 21 14:49:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kfeil/so_inappropriate/
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http://imgur.com/29WA4gG

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[Rant/Rave] Well, it's been awhile.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 21 14:36:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kfchx/well_its_been_awhile/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] [Discussion] Does anyone else have an obsession with absurdly spicy food?
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -10.9lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 21 14:26:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kfatd/discussion_does_anyone_else_have_an_obsession/
---
I loooooove spicy foods. I find them a lot more satisfying to eat when I'm restricting than much of anything else. They make bland, tiny meals much better to eat. And because I overload on hot sauces I wind up naturally drinking three or four times as much water as I usually do during meals.
Hot sauces are almost always labeled as zero calories too. I know that that typically means that there's less than 5 calories per serving, but I mean I can have like four or five servings of some on my food and still be super low. Sometimes if food cravings won't go away I'll just have a tablespoon or two of hot sauce by itself or on cucumbers and it makes the desire to binge out go away.
I love spicy stuff. Thank god for hot sauce.

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[Other] Welp. I just gained a new "be thin" motivation in the form of a sexy green eyed Ukrainian man that frequents a bar I went to last night (pointless sexy man story)
/u/Polegoalz [5'9" | 134 | 19.43 | 53 | F]
Created: Sat May 21 14:02:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kf75v/welp_i_just_gained_a_new_be_thin_motivation_in/
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So I got a babysitter last night, and went out to a cigar bar in my area. I don't smoke cigars, but it was the only place I could think of where I could go alone, not be around a bunch of loud music, or get harassed. I was having a great time talking to the bartender...when I heard a strange accent. I live in Texas, so that's literally the only accent I've heard while living here.


I turned and ASDFGGJKjklahfi omg . He was not your "stereotypical" weird looking Russian dude. no. he was a god. He was tall, had great blonde hair, a little stubble, green eyes...and dat accent. like, I know it sounds gross to share, but I was getting a little turned on. he started touching my leg and laughing lightly when I'd tell a joke, looking me in the eye for a long time...




I was seriously like http://m.imgur.com/8VBc4S4 the whole time. but he gave me his business card at the end of the night. We met at dominoes afterwards and I ate half a slice of pizza just to spend time with him, lol. I kissed him afterwards, and he's a bad kisser, but whatever. I still cant believe it. he's been texting me at work all day.


He sent me a text earlier that said "I'm glad I can finally meet girl in Texas who is not obese. It's rare to find a girl here that is thin". Hes not kidding. my particular area is one of the fattest cities per capita in the US. It made me so happy that someone objectively saw me as thin, that I haven't eaten all day. I'm 16 lbs away from my goal weight, but man. that shit made my day!

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[Intro] I hope this is the right place for me...
/u/raindrop_rose
Created: Sat May 21 12:47:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kevm9/i_hope_this_is_the_right_place_for_me/
---
H there. I've kind of flirted with lurking here (which is to say, I'll come on every couple of weeks, look at a few posts, then get mad at myself and run off), but I'm fed up with doing that, as it's not doing me any good. So, uh, here I am. I'm using a throwaway, because there's already so much personal shit on my main that I don't want to throw my body issues on top of all that for the world to see. Here's my attempt to introduce myself, and hopefully, this will be somewhere I can find a place for myself and maybe talk to a few folks who understand where I'm coming from.

I'm Rose, I'm 25, and I'm pretty sure I have a serious case of BED or something very like it. For literally as long as I can remember, I've had a really unhealthy relationship with food. Maybe obsession is a better word for it. I can't think of any time in my life when I've been at what would be considered a healthy weight. I went from a chubby kid to a fat teen to an obese adult. I am repulsed to the absolute maximum degree by my body, but I don't know how to make my issues go away. I want to be thin and beautiful. I've "dieted" a lot of times in the last, and it'll work for a while. I can't count how many times I've tried, sometimes losing as much as 30 lbs, but I always lose control in the end and just dive into food again.

I'm married to a great guy and he's always been super supportive. He thinks I'm pretty even though I'm fat. Every time I try to lose weight he's so supportive, tells me what a good job I'm doing... but it doesn't matter. Maybe it would work better if he thought I was gross, too. Maybe that would motivate me enough. It doesn't help that there's literally nothing to do outside the house in my area. I feel awful being inside all day, but there's nowhere to go except restaurants so we eat out constantly and I feel like I have to eat then even if I'm trying really hard not to and I know I'm making excuses even as I type this but I literally don't know what to do.

I want to fast. I want to just forget about eating, not care about it, to only have the bare minimum and not ever want more. I want to be skinny and beautiful and for once in my life look on the mirror and see someone attractive.

I did get prescribed adderall recently (I do honestly have ADD, but I won't lie that part of the reason I pursued a diagnosis was because I thought it might help suppress my appetite). It does make me feel hungry less, but that doesn't help as much as I'd hoped, because honestly, my problem isn't hunger, it's that I eat all the fucking time, whether I'm hungry or not. I just automatically snack all day long, half the time without thinking about it, hardly even noticing.

I know most of the people on this sub are on the opposite end of the ED spectrum, so I don't know how much I really belong here, or can relate, but I really hope that I can at least find companionship in spending time with people who won't judge me for having a fucked up relationship with food or try to constantly tell me it doesn't matter what my body is like. And I really hope this doesn't come across as treating EDs like a diet, because that's not my intention or viewpoint at all, but maybe I can learn a little bit about how to eat less from those of you who already do so.

I'm sorry if this is rambly and disjointed, I'm just not really sure what I should or shouldn't be sharing here.

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[Discussion] Does anyone use MiO or any other water enhancers?
/u/Queen-of-me
Created: Sat May 21 11:42:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kelbe/does_anyone_use_mio_or_any_other_water_enhancers/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kelbe/does_anyone_use_mio_or_any_other_water_enhancers/

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Forgot to post a funny for Friday, so Happy Saturday!
/u/MulattoKhaleesi
Created: Sat May 21 10:38:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4keb6r/forgot_to_post_a_funny_for_friday_so_happy/
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http://imgur.com/XZRPJZz

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[Other] Buzzfeed Quiz: Can You Pick the Starbucks Frappuccino With the Most Calories?
/u/LiteralMangina [5'7" | 100lbs | 15.61 | -25 | F]
Created: Sat May 21 10:21:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ke8jh/buzzfeed_quiz_can_you_pick_the_starbucks/
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https://www.buzzfeed.com/farrahpenn/can-you-pick-the-starbucks-frappuccino-with-the-most-calorie?utm_term=.uoEX8d46p#.gbBbMnoDG

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[Thinspo] Right from the front page
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 21 10:12:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ke6zk/right_from_the_front_page/
---
http://i.imgur.com/vwmMYz9.jpg

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat May 21 10:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ke5hj/daily_food_diary_may_21_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] Cinnamon. Apple. Spice. Tea.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat May 21 09:48:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ke3g9/cinnamon_apple_spice_tea/
---
Oh. My. God. I had a box sitting around from the last time I visited the Celestial Seasonings factory and it's amazing.

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[Goal] Finally hit 139!
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 137 lbs | -14 | GW 115 | 22.11 | F]
Created: Sat May 21 09:27:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ke0hj/finally_hit_139/
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So I was 128 last summer and looked incredible, and then shot up to 151(!!!!!) because of my worst depressive episode ever in the winter. I've been plateuing in the 140's for the past few weeks, losing steadily but not fast ENOUGH. So I thought I'd be 140 forever.


There's more space between my thighs and my ribs an hipbones are super pronounced like I love feeling them every time I take a step or lie down. It sucks because in the mirror I don't LOOK different, you know? And I'm always so sure I'm gaining weight because I binge a lot, so today I weighed myself as a "punishment" to snap myself back on track, but I'm at 139!!! I'm happy but also sooo confused and frustrated.


And of course I celebrate by binging on a burrito and a sandwich. FML

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[Other] Eating Candy [x-post from r/funnyandsad]
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 128.0 lbs | 26.5 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 21 09:13:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kdyec/eating_candy_xpost_from_rfunnyandsad/
---
http://imgur.com/TwWDuGs

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[Tip] Red Velvet Tea~
/u/Phiohtrue [5'4.5 | 129.0 | 22.14 |- 18.2 | F]
Created: Sat May 21 09:03:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kdx24/red_velvet_tea/
---
I've seen some of you raving about Celestial Seasonings' tea (esp sugar cookie), but it just didn't do it for me for some reason. Maybe I was expecting too much based on reviews, so I'll try not to sell this one too strongly, but I stumbled upon [this](http://www.amazon.com/Brew-Tea-Organic-Velvet-Count/dp/B00F33CH0A) red velvet tea by Brew La La a few days ago, and it's basically perfect. It's rich because it's rooibos (warning, it's rooibos! some people don't love it as much as I do, as it's a bit of an acquired taste) and it has nice cherry and vanilla fragrances floating on top. Very good by itself, good with some sweetener too. It's my new obsession, so I thought I'd share <3

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[Rant/Rave] And there we have it, folks...self- sabotage
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Sat May 21 05:27:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kd6v5/and_there_we_have_it_folksself_sabotage/
---
Worked out yesterday, had my waist trainer on the whole time. Felt pretty good about myself, I've been feeling really bloated the last couple days due to a lot of terrible eating when I'm with my boyfriend. But the day before yesterday, I ate only healthy and small portions, yesterday started off healthy with a salad in the morning, but by the time my workout was done and it being the end of the day, I was starving. So I impulsively ordered pizza. While waiting for the pizza I took my waist trainer off and really admired my body, but started freaking out because the pizza was on its way, with breadsticks. Why did I order a large cheese and breadsticks, when I'm all by myself? Idk. And so I kept telling myself I'd have control and only eat a little.... I ate five pieces and two breadsticks. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking fuck. That's more than half of the large pizza. I'm so disappointed. Sigggghhh.

I really hate binging and I can't ever seem to truly have control.

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[Rant/Rave] I must be a masochist [semi rant]
/u/whiimsii
Created: Sat May 21 05:20:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kd66o/i_must_be_a_masochist_semi_rant/
---
Why do I keep weighing myself when I KNOW I'm on my period, bloated and retaining water like no other and I also KNOW I just binged on crap for like three days straight?
Am I really expecting that number to go down or what? Why do I do things I *know* for a fact will hurt me?
I really don't understand sometimes.

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Can't stop eating
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 21 04:55:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kd3s1/cant_stop_eating/
---
[deleted]

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[Intro] Hi:)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 21 04:32:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kd1sy/hi/
---
[deleted]

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C'mon ladies.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 21 04:19:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kd0ly/cmon_ladies/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Does anyone else live vicariously through their friends eating habits?
/u/usmatade [5'5 | 127 | 20.09 | -17 | F]
Created: Sat May 21 03:45:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kcxog/does_anyone_else_live_vicariously_through_their/
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I feel like when I started restricting I just kind of gave all my unhealthy eating habits to my friends. I keep sending them recipes that I would never EVER make because of the sheer amount of butter, telling them to go for the high-cal options at restaurants and baking cookies for them. It's not all in my head either, my best friend has gained almost exactly as much weight as I has lost! (my flair isn't accurate anymore but I'm on mobile :( )

Does anyone else do this or am I just weird?

(sorry mods, idk how to flair on mobile. I think this is a rant?)

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[Help] Why is my hair falling out if I eat a lot?
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Sat May 21 00:50:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kcief/why_is_my_hair_falling_out_if_i_eat_a_lot/
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For almost a year now, i have not lost any real weight. So im not just saying i eat a lot while actually starving. I've lost more than half of my hair, and I can almost see balding. So that's fun.

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[Rant/Rave] I had some sugar and my head feels like it will explode.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -38 | F]
Created: Fri May 20 23:59:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kcdet/i_had_some_sugar_and_my_head_feels_like_it_will/
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I was doing well today and then my mother makes 'You're getting so skinny comments'. My main goal is to keep her suspicions away from my ED and I had about 600 calories worth of caramel sweets and bread. I'm so stupid.

My head feels like it is going to burst. Sugar gives me the worst headache. Bread makes me bloated. Combine that with period bloat already and I'm miserable. I'm sitting here and trying to drink a liter of water to help.

It's just not worth it. I'd rather have her be suspicious and put up with the comments for a few more months rather than sabotage my progress. I'm so close to the 120s and I shot myself in the foot again.

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[Rant/Rave] [Advice/Rant] Going to be on my own for two months and I'm freaking out
/u/ilovepugs_ [5'6 1/2" | 149.2 | 23.7 | -4.8 | F]
Created: Fri May 20 22:48:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kc62r/advicerant_going_to_be_on_my_own_for_two_months/
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Title says all! Going away for a two month internship. I did the same one last year. I was 135 lbs and still losing! But I guess I freaked cause I ended up b/p and I packed on the pounds pretty quickly. I'm so scared. I'm sorry I sound complainy of just moody, but the fear is so real. I'm at 155 right now (pretty gross, I know. It keeps me up at night). I have a meal plan all set up and ready to go and if all goes well I'll lose 20 lbs+. Would anyone mind looking at it too? I'm just so scared. I don't want to start purging. I just want to get my control back and feel awesome :(

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[Discussion] After binge recovery?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 20 22:11:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kc223/after_binge_recovery/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] Thigh gap progress!!!!
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Fri May 20 21:50:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kbzsm/thigh_gap_progress/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/7630021cfc5a4c5cbe2664e1e51ce00d?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d8610d2193e740e35c7144b515410c09

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[Discussion] I know I'm not alone in fasting vs binging
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Fri May 20 21:29:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kbx6p/i_know_im_not_alone_in_fasting_vs_binging/
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But I've spent basically the last month binging. I'm up about ten pounds. Ugh. However, I spend today fasting (or well, I fasted about 22 hours, but then had to have dinner with my husband's coworkers, but I kept up under control. Albeit, only because I'd been fasting all day, but I digress).

Why is it, I can either fast or binge, but nothing in-between? Grrrrrr.

I always feel a zillion times better when I fast. Why don't I just do it so much more often?

I read Eat Stop Eat today. I'm totally on board now with fasting Mondays and Thursdays. I only fasted today because I ate a bunch of cookies for dinner last night. Small victories. Sigh.

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[Help] I just sort of succeeded in making myself throw up for the first time and I feel like a sack of shit
/u/morningbirds [5'6" | 129 lb | 20.91 | F]
Created: Fri May 20 21:05:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kbu5c/i_just_sort_of_succeeded_in_making_myself_throw/
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I've never done this before. I mean, I've tried in the past, but my emetophobia always served as a sort of psychological block. But today, I ate way the fuck too much again to keep up appearances, and I figured, hey, why not give it a shot?

I didn't even get much out. It would barely be worth mentioning, honestly, except for the fact that I've never been able to get even this far before. And the scariest part is how *easy* it was. It wasn't painful or really even unpleasant at all. I only stopped because I suppose I still have some sane part of me left that was shouting at me to **fucking stop** because I don't want to get into this habit.

And yet, I already feel drawn to going back finishing the job, because I'm a self-destructive shithead, and at least then I'd get rid of some more calories. I am not going to, though, because I know if I let myself, I may not be able to stop in the future. Unfortunately, that means I'm stuck with all the fuck tons of calories I ate today. Fuck.

I'm sorry.

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[Discussion] Super Slim Me (TV show about crash dieting)
/u/prettyvac4nt [5' | 105lb | 21.6 | -18lb | F]
Created: Fri May 20 19:55:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kblj0/super_slim_me_tv_show_about_crash_dieting/
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I've just found a British tv documentary called Super Slim Me, it's about a journalist who goes on a 500 calorie per day diet to get to Size 0. At the start she's the equivalent of an American size 8, I've just started watching it - it's only 1 hour long and I want people to discuss it with ^_^ Looking forward to seeing what happens.
Who's seen it?

(I'm watching on dailymotion if anyone wants the link btw).

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[Other] Really cool book about the history of anorexia and extreme self-denial... people have been doing what we are doing for thousands of years.
/u/aielleia
Created: Fri May 20 19:30:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kbi7v/really_cool_book_about_the_history_of_anorexia/
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https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/414167.Fasting_Girls

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[Discussion] Appetite gets smaller after restricting?
/u/prettyvac4nt [5' | 105lb | 21.6 | -18lb | F]
Created: Fri May 20 19:27:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kbhv7/appetite_gets_smaller_after_restricting/
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This might be a stupidly obvious thing, but does restricting lead to a smaller appetite?

What I'm doing is restricting for 4-5 days at a time with ephedrine (only having coffees and 1 small meal a day) then I have 2 days where I don't take ephedrine and allow myself to eat freely (within reason).

On the 'normal eating' days I feel like my hunger is reduced, my appetite is still there but I don't get ravenously hungry. And then when I eat, I get full very fast and seem to eat about half the portion I would have done previously.

It sounds like a good thing, but any deviation from the expected freaks me out and I don't know whether it's just psychological and I've convinced myself that I used to eat more, or that I'm expecting to be fuller faster therefore I am (like a self-fulfilling prophecy).

I don't believe that a normal stomach can shrink through under-eating? Anyone else get this?

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[Discussion] Does anyone else here live with other ED sufferers?
/u/selfofsteam [5'4 | 120 lbs | 20.6 | -20 lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 20 17:30:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kb1qb/does_anyone_else_here_live_with_other_ed_sufferers/
---
I have two roommates who definitely struggle with food/body image - one undiagnosed/recovered anorexic (my sister), the other a diagnosed anorexic/now bulimic.

Idk, for me it made things really difficult when I got diagnosed - somehow they found out and got super nosy (took away my scale, monitored my eating, sneaking into my room, trying to gather information from my BF, constantly asking "you hanging in there?" and the like, acting competitive about weight loss).

Thankfully I'm moving in a couple months, but it's still super annoying. Does anyone else have to deal with this? How do you cope? :(

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[Discussion] What's your morning routine?
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 163 | 23.64 | -35 | F]
Created: Fri May 20 17:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kb0yw/whats_your_morning_routine/
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How do you make sure you start your day off right?

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[Discussion] What's your thinspo soundtrack?
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 163 | 23.64 | -35 | F]
Created: Fri May 20 17:22:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kb0f0/whats_your_thinspo_soundtrack/
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Do you have any songs that just put you in the right mood?
Or keep you from bingeing?

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[Other] Today, I shared a moment with the girl at the makeup counter
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | -30 | F]
Created: Fri May 20 17:12:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kayzu/today_i_shared_a_moment_with_the_girl_at_the/
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I have a shopping addiction that goes along with my ED. When I'm trying to distract myself from thinking about eating but I still need to do something that helps me feel in control of my appearance, I fixate on clothes and makeup. Lately it's gotten really bad, to the point that I've been wandering the aisle of every makeup store in the county in a half-awake zombie daze.

Usually my interactions with the sales associates (who now recognize me) are minimal and awkward, but today I got to talking to one of them. I felt immediately comfortable with her because she seemed as spacey and out of it as I was, so we started talking about how obsessed we both were with makeup, and then she was like "I could think about makeup every second of every day. It's either that or food, so I figure this is better" and I was like "I KNOW, RIGHT?" and burst out laughing. Love those little moments of recognition.

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I have no idea how to upvote.....
/u/wearingmyfatpants [5'0" |119|23.2|41lbs|F]
Created: Fri May 20 16:18:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kaqkv/i_have_no_idea_how_to_upvote/
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So this is probably dumb and obvious, but how the f do I upvote on this sub?!?!

I only see the voting arrows if someone directly replies to a comment of mine and I want to upvote others too and this is just frustrating af...

Help me, I'm kinda an idiot :(

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[Tip] A humorous tip for combatting hunger
/u/acertaingestault
Created: Fri May 20 15:33:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kaj8u/a_humorous_tip_for_combatting_hunger/
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https://imgur.com/a/V85JA#nHzuyvu

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[Discussion] Anyone know of any affordable online shops for clothing which ship to the US?
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 120 | 19.7 | -22]
Created: Fri May 20 14:44:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4kab3e/anyone_know_of_any_affordable_online_shops_for/
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It's time to buy summer clothes and I tend to panic in the clothing aisles and dressing rooms of physical stores.

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[Tip] This is awesome
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri May 20 14:04:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ka3zv/this_is_awesome/
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Just add a cinnamon stick to hot water and you get such lovely warm, cozy tea. It's sweet and delicious and I feel ready for bed.

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[Help] I have a thigh gap, but I don't have a "calf gap"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 20 13:36:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k9zck/i_have_a_thigh_gap_but_i_dont_have_a_calf_gap/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] I don't like complaining about this...
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 123 | 19.8 | -42 | F]
Created: Fri May 20 12:53:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k9rs5/i_dont_like_complaining_about_this/
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But I'm going to anyway. Last Monday, I went out to dinner because of my boyfriends birthday with his family. Couldn't skip a thing like that. Tomorrow (Saturday) I'm going out to dinner with my family, since it's my mom and dads wedding day. Can't skip that, right? BUT MONDAY I have a funeral and we're going out to dinner again.

My family and I usually don't go out to dinner a lot. Maybe once every two months or even less. This is really a lot for me. And on top of that, a funeral. My mothers nephew died and even tho I didn't really knew him that well, I'm always a wreck on funerals. I can't stand to see people cry. It's gonna be an emotional rollercoaster, yay.

I really can't skip this funeral. I actually skipped the last three or four in the last year (yeah, so many deaths in my family...) and I haven't seen that side of the family since my grandfather died a few years ago. If anyone has some helpful tips to stay at least a little bit stable I would be very thankful.

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[Discussion] What kind of clothes do you wear?
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 20 12:39:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k9pds/what_kind_of_clothes_do_you_wear/
---
So I posted on r/femalefashionadvice saying that I don't know how to dress because I hate my body. (And basically everyone assumed I was fat and offered tips on eating healthy which is like...wow thanks now I feel worse)

Anyway, what do you guys wear? If anyone gets body hate and dysmorphia it's this sub so what clothes do you actually wear? And especially when it's hot..like 90-105F outside hot. Because I'm dying but I'd rather die than show my legs.

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[Rant/Rave] You can sort of see my ribs now when I'm not sucking in!
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 20 12:10:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k9k38/you_can_sort_of_see_my_ribs_now_when_im_not/
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Granted, I'm still over 30 lbs away from my GW, and I know some of you wonderful people have much slighter frames than I (bless all you dedicated little ones), but little things like this keep my spirits up.

http://i.imgur.com/lgMkYFe.jpg

Hopefully I'll get to a point where you can see individual ribs 😊

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[Goal] Finally back into my size 0 jeans.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 20 12:02:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k9ijo/finally_back_into_my_size_0_jeans/
---
http://i.imgur.com/NNZ6BKk.jpg?1

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[Help] majorly stressed out - first date tomorrow - halp!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 20 12:01:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k9idi/majorly_stressed_out_first_date_tomorrow_halp/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Ways to feel better about eating above your goal?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Fri May 20 11:54:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k9h2r/ways_to_feel_better_about_eating_above_your_goal/
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I didn't eat much yesterday (a bowl of shiritake noodles and some tea), had stress nightmares about food all night and woke up several times with a horrible taste my mouth feeling like I was about to throw up, so I've decided that I really need to chill out a bit about all this food stuff before I fuck up my exams completely. I'm probably going to hit around 1000kcals today which in theory is fine, but how do I stop feeling this guilty about it? And any suggestions as to why I felt like throwing up this morning?

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[Discussion] Does anyone use tv to help motivate?
/u/36bulletking63
Created: Fri May 20 10:03:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k8x9k/does_anyone_use_tv_to_help_motivate/
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I know its going to sound silly but watching these enormous people binge on the show my 600lb life makes me feel like starving even more.

I know some people use cooking shows and ive tryed that too i love some bobby flay.

What do you guys watch? If anything.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri May 20 10:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k8x1x/daily_food_diary_may_20_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Help] Has anyone restricted while on mood stabilizers?
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 20 10:01:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k8wst/has_anyone_restricted_while_on_mood_stabilizers/
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I have a mental health appointment today. Don't plan on discussing my ED, but they may want to put me on anti-psychotics/mood stabilizers (not anti-depressants) due to recent episodes of psychosis brought on by mania. I have had unmedicated Bipolar pretty much my whole life. They tried anti-depressants when I was a teenager but they just made me spin off into la-la land and do some really crazy things.

So... Anyone have experience with this? Any drugs I should avoid? I have a feeling they will try Lithium first. Possibly sleeping pills because I've been getting 3-4 hrs a night.

Any help is super welcome, I don't want to OD because my ED wont let me be honest with my doctors.

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[Discussion] Binge nightmare
/u/KillingKylie [5'5 | Piggy |-5| F]
Created: Fri May 20 08:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k8gub/binge_nightmare/
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This is so ridiculous! It was my boyfriend and I's 5 year anniversary yesterday and I ended up eating only 150 below maintenance which is high for me.

I had a nightmare that I was eating and logging everything I ate into lose it, but just kept eating and eating and eating until I was to 2,000 calories.

I woke up shaking and screaming, I feel so pathetic. Has this happened to anyone else?

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[Rant/Rave] I might just cut my card in half
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri May 20 06:55:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k83r4/i_might_just_cut_my_card_in_half/
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I have been binging like crazy all day and I'm spending so much on it too. I hate myself so much. I'm making myself fat again and it sucks.

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[Discussion] mantras
/u/fessie_rae
Created: Fri May 20 06:30:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k807h/mantras/
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What are the things you tell yourself to stay motivated? I have terrible binge days and beat myself up every time. What do you think/say/do to prevent binging or what do you think/say/do after a binge?

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[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! May 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri May 20 06:03:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k7wjg/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_may_20_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for May 20, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Tip] Has anyone else in the UK tried this protein bar? I think it's the best I've seen so far: 177kcal, 10g protein and no added sugar.
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 138 lbs | 22.9 | -18 lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 20 05:12:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k7qz0/has_anyone_else_in_the_uk_tried_this_protein_bar/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/28cca7fa03f747558a78e28c04978fbe?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=10f77988be82d8472e4cde6dee99d787

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How people get started and what different words mean.
/u/deliverabsent
Created: Fri May 20 02:54:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k7d6r/how_people_get_started_and_what_different_words/
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[removed]

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[Discussion] What are your magical, life-changing foods?
/u/oceansateterry
Created: Fri May 20 02:53:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k7d2b/what_are_your_magical_lifechanging_foods/
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Foods(or drinks) that changed your life. Tea works great for me and I've heard about halo top ice cream.

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[Discussion] Your experience with...
/u/Skinnybabyshh [5'4" | 95 (GW 110) | 16.63 | -100 | F]
Created: Fri May 20 00:49:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k710a/your_experience_with/
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Last weekend, friday to monday, i consumed only epsom salt and green tea and lost 10lbs just that weekend. Tuesday I ate an entire plate of mac and cheese and had coke and tge next day I only gained 1.5lbs back. Doing it this weekend again for sure. Im very careful with epsom salt, only very very tiny amounts.


* so what is your experience with similar substances?

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[Help] All I have is my disordered eating
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 124.7 | 18.1/18.4 | -22 | F]
Created: Thu May 19 23:50:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k6uoi/all_i_have_is_my_disordered_eating/
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Or I guess all I'm going to have. I am a broken person. I am damaged and emotionally disfigured. I haven't even known my boyfriend for 2 months, and he's already becoming frustrated and overwhelmed. This relationship is doomed. We're both young and inexperienced. Why did I think this would last? This just enforces the idea that I'm unfixable. Because that's how I feel. How will I ever get better? Why should I even want to get better? Nothing matters. I never thought I'd be that dramatic girl basing her life's worth off her relationship, but nothing makes me as happy as he makes me, and I won't have any motivation to recover if we break up. I'll just let this relapse take over my life. Why not? Why the fuck not...

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[Discussion] What is the lowest you've eaten for an unbroken amount of time?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -38 | F]
Created: Thu May 19 23:41:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k6tp9/what_is_the_lowest_youve_eaten_for_an_unbroken/
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Like no more than 300 calories for over a month. Or under 800 for 3 months straight. I'm just curious to know what others do on a long-term basis or if you remember how much you lost during that time.

I have 104 days to go and I've been playing with the Losertown calculator a bit much. It goes into negative weight now too, ha. If I eat 300 calories a day without moving, I'll weigh -39.94 pounds in 2 years. Good to know.

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[Rant/Rave] Apparently I'm a kid now thx vanity sizing
/u/stealgravity [5'5.5 | 128lbs (BMI 21) | -14.2lbs]
Created: Thu May 19 22:30:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k6l3s/apparently_im_a_kid_now_thx_vanity_sizing/
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Yeah about how it sounds. I spent like fifteen minutes at Walmart looking for the women's section rather than the "plus size" section only to realize that their idea of a small is a (very generous in their sizing) 4/6 and I was in the women's section already.

So I saw dresses in the kids section thinking "no, surely not, not with this ass, no way". But there you have it found a dress that fit largely thanks to a flare from the waist cut into the dress. I'm a kid's large and I have 39 inch hips. Wtf. They had all this cute shit in XXL but they couldn't throw me a size 2 at least? Nevermind the fact that at Walmart my ass can fit into a size 2 dress because that just shouldn't be happening.

Also ew I shopped for shorts. Ew. The back of my legs are a warzone and I'm covered in bruises. Fucking cellulite godammit. It's not like ultra dimply but there's definitely just grossness happening.

Anyway, I know a lot of y'all are definitely smaller than me. Is this just a Walmart thing or do you guys all shop at baby gap or something. Teach me your ways please! I used to be fine with swimming in all my clothes but I'm starting to feel like looser clothes make me look bigger than i am :(

Also if anyone knows of a a clothing line for people who are actually curvy pls advise everything I find that says "curvy" is too big. My waist is lonely and most dresses pull straight from my hips to my shoulders making my waist look thick as Hell so I can't even accentuate the part of me I'm OK with.

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[Discussion] Looking for MFP/Fitbit Buddies
/u/Strongpursuits [5'4"/SW: 150/Lw:96.6/Cw: 112.0/Gw: Gonegirl/]
Created: Thu May 19 21:45:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k6fen/looking_for_mfpfitbit_buddies/
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Hey! I'm looking for MFP and/or Fitbit buddies. I have both! I don't want to post my username (i want to keep that private incase anybody ever searches the profile) so message me your usernames/comment below. :) I'm looking for buddies/community/support/etc.!

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[Rant/Rave] (First Post) Minor life crisis with a happy resolution
/u/missmadime [5'6" | oh god | -20lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 19 20:29:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k64lo/first_post_minor_life_crisis_with_a_happy/
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(Ok, I've lurked here for awhile but this is my first real post. If y'all want me to do a proper intro, let me know :) I just don't know anybody else who will understand why I'm so happy right now. Also I'm on my phone, so formatting may be weird)

So a tiny bit of background: I'm from the great state of Texas, but have been living in India for the past year. Certain foods are very hard to get here and because of that, when I do find find those foods (Tex-mex mostly) I'll allow myself to have some as a treat, though I always do try to stay under 1000 calories on those days.

Now, a few days ago I found both a bag of normal tortilla chips (I found one place in the city that sells them) AND an avocado. I have not had an avocado in a year and even though it was $5 for that single piece of fruit, I said "fuck it it's guac time"

I waited the three days for my small treasure to ripen, and finally finally I made some glorious guacamole. It wasn't very much because my green buddy was small to begin with and his dumb pit turned out to be gigantic, but whatever. I don't need that much guac anyways, too tempting to binge.

So I sat down yesterday morning after my workout (burned 347 calories, figured that would offset this celebration) and ate half the bowl. Beautiful, wonderful, oh happy day. After I was done I went to log it all in MFP and when I looked up the chips I saw 100g = 465 calories.

What.

But that was the standard measurement for those.
Was that a serving?
INDIA. WHY DONT YOU SAY WHAT SERVING SIZES ARE ON YOUR BAGS??
DID I JUST EAT 500 CALORIES BEFORE 9AM?????????

Cue the meltdown. I swore I wouldn't eat for the rest of the day, and I didn't, but oh God it was hard. I usually spread my 4-500 calories out throughout the day. Fuck. Why did I do that. Dammit girl. Fuck.


Anyways, after a successful 24 hour fast and twice the amount of daily exercise I usually do, I decided to finish the rest of the guac this morning with as few chips as I could manage. Munching away, I read the back of the bag and then saw in teenie tiny print all the way on the ripped bottom the weight of the whole bag...160g.

So...I actually didn't eat 100g of this shit? I ate maybe like.... 30g of that?
IM NOT A FAILURE.
OOOMG.
YES.
YES YES.
I actually ended up eating about 300 less calories yesterday than I thought I did.


So I just now went online and ordered a food scale. This is never happening again. May 27th (delivery date) can not come soon enough.

So, has anyone else had a similar "oh nononononoyes" eating moment?


TL;DR: Ate 500-something calories of guacamole and chips, my soul died, later realised I measured wrong and it was more like half that. VICTORY IS MINE.

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[Discussion] Hey just a question to anyone who has had to have Anesthesia.
/u/36bulletking63
Created: Thu May 19 19:49:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k5ycn/hey_just_a_question_to_anyone_who_has_had_to_have/
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Im getting my four wisdom teeth out next wednesday and it is scaring me to death.

From what i have read, Anorexia and anesthesia do not mix well at all. Apparently comas and death are possible....

My question is has anyone had to be put to sleep with anethesia while being anorexic? And how did go?

Edit: Thank you everyone so much for your replies!!! Im going to up my calories starting sunday in prep for my surgery wednesday.

In regards to eating after to heal. Idk ill try but it could go either way

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ED or Disordered eating?
/u/Adaeza
Created: Thu May 19 17:44:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k5gaq/ed_or_disordered_eating/
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Hi all, new to Reddit and esp this sub. I'm posting here because I don't want sympathy, advice on 'recovering' etc..I like the weight loss and method I have and plan to continue even tho it has to be affecting my long term health lol, just curious how you all see it.

Two years ago I was going back to work after being on maternity leave for 12 months. I was bored and isolated from my friends most of the time (I'm young and the only one of my friends to have children) and spent most days eating and binge watching different shows.

I was upset with how I looked and had gained enough weight it physically affected how I moved and what not. I was never really big but it bothered me a lot. I started restricting what I ate while I was at work because it was easy for me to get so involved I could omit eating until the end of the day. At my job I burn about 1300 Cal in the 8.5 hours. I started losing weight quickly and people started complimenting me on my looks. I was so elated i vowed to get thinner and thinner until I felt good about myself again. I started restricting even more and would go 3 days easily running on 0 Cal energy drinks and cigarettes alone.

I drink a 0 Cal monster through out the day and don't eat at all until dinner, if I have that. However I don't count calories, don't really weight myself often ( twice a month ish). I never binge or purge. I don't have rituals concerning food, just anxiety. I see controlling my food as the only thing in life I have firm control over and don't eat at all when I'm feeling emotional, stressed or anxious and I can feel good about at least having the will power to starve myself and be good at it even if everything around me is going to shit. Something I do however is "bank" calories..meaning if I'm going out drinking with my friends I won't eat at least the 2 days before so i can 'allow' for the massive amount of calories in alcohol/dinner. When I do eat its very small portions of anything. Whether it's healthy or pizza or even fried chicken I'll eat it, I just won't eat much.

I'm 25, f, 5'7, 116 lbs. Do I have an eating disorder or just disordered eating?

TIA

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[Rant/Rave] Can't seem to stay on track!!!
/u/thinspo2016 [5'5 | 95 | 15.8 | 35 | Male]
Created: Thu May 19 17:21:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k5cky/cant_seem_to_stay_on_track/
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Ugh I just feel so blegh. It's been a rough past month or so, I've been plateauing in terms of body weight, not scale weight and it really sucks. I've reached my gw and i'm at my goal body but like I just cant seem to stay on track. I have good weeks and then it seems it'll go away and I cant resist eating and I'll lose the mental progress of getting in the right mindset. These past two weeks have been pretty rough as well, and it's getting to me. I'm still incredibly skinny, but I've gained a bit of a stomach and it honestly hurts to see two little folds rather than just one, and I can actively *feel* my stomach on me as I sit down now and it sucks. It's all I can think about during the day and I'm so self conscious. I know it takes work, and it took work to get me to where I am but I just feel pretty lame and I binged today as well. My salvation is that it's a long weekend, so that means 4 straight days of eating **properly* and hopefully that can get me back on track and I can stay on track for good this time, and to burn off that little stomach.

Also, super sorry if this sounded braggy or anything but I just needed to vent :( someone please give me some words of advice or something i feel crappy

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[Other] An absurdly long write-up on BMI and what adjusting it actually does.
/u/alonelyturd [5'0 | 97.4 lbs ]
Created: Thu May 19 16:41:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k568z/an_absurdly_long_writeup_on_bmi_and_what/
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So the background to this post is that I casually mentioned the idea of adjusting the bmi formula to one of my math friends, and he explained to me that naw, the old formula already handles that, and he explained to me how. This is my take on his explanation. I did my best to make is as accessible as possible for the people who aren’t comfortable with math!

So let’s pretend we’re trying to invent an index that tells us how fat someone is based on their height and weight. Well height isn't the same as volume, but if we knew a person’s volume and weight then we could calculate their density (mass/volume). Density is probably useful to the idea of 'fatness', but what is the volume of a human? The shape that’s closest to humanoid is an elliptic cylinder, but we’re going to use a regular cylinder because the math basically works out the same way.

So what I’m going to try to do here is assign each person an expected volume based on their height, then calculate their density based on that. If the result says that they’re super dense, it means they have a lot of mass squeezed into their expected cylindrical space, aka they’re fat. And if the result says their matter is really sparsely distributed in their cylindrical space, well it’s because they’re not actually taking up the whole cylinder.

Okay, so we’ve got two formulas to start out with: density = mass/volume (d=m/v), and the volume of a cylinder = pi\*radius^2 /height (d=p\*r^2 /h).
Which gives us the density of a cylinder as d = m/(p\*r^2 /h).
Now to make things simpler, instead of using p for pi I’m going to replace it with one big C that represents all of our constant terms. (since everyone’s density is going to be multiplied/divided by the same constants, they don’t’ affect our results. We just care about the numbers that are changing based on each person’s stats). So now we’re at d = C\*m/(r^2 /h). (C = 1/pi, but I’m just gunna let it keep absorbing the constant terms from here on out.)

So far so good, but what the heck do we do with the radius? Well, a person’s expected healthy radius has to be related to their height somehow, right?

The simplest answer would be to say that everyone’s expected radius should be a fixed percentage of their height. That would mean that a healthy short adult has the exact same proportions as a healthy average adult has the exact same proportions as a healthy tall adult. So let’s pretend everyone’s expected healthy radius is exactly x percent of their height, r = x\*h. Then their expected volume becomes v = pi\*(x\*h)^2 \*h, or more simply, v = pi\*x^2\*h^3 . If we use this volume formula with our density formula, and let the percentage x be absorbed by our constant C, we end up with d = C\*m/(h^3).

And okay, that looks pretty good, except what if we didn’t believe that short people are always perfectly scale replicas of tall people? Well, then we’d need to say that a person’s radius grows at some non-linear function of their height, say r = c\*h^n where c and n are some unknown constants. Any value of n that’s less than one would mean we expect shorter people to have wider relative frames, and taller people to have narrower relative frames. But before we worry too much about what n is, we can plug r = c\*h^n into our density formula:
d = C\*m/[(c\*h^n )^2 \*h], simplifying to d = C\*m/h^(2n+1).

If we drop the constant and plug in n = .5, we get d = m/h^2, the bmi formula, and if we use n = .75, we get m/h^2.5, the ‘adjusted’ bmi formula linked to in the sidebar. So one is saying a person's radius should grow like a square root function, the other says it should grow at a rate somewhere in between a square root function and a linear function.

So what’s the point of any of this? Basically, people saying that the traditional bmi calculation is wrong because it treats humans as two-dimensional… are wrong. But the rate at which a person’s ‘radius’ should grow proportional to their height is also a little up in the air, and I don’t have the raw data or the medical background to offer an opinion on it.

Anyways... this is how I choose to spend my time, guys.

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[Rant/Rave] Shut up, this is not a game - Is anorexia cool?!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 19 16:04:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k502n/shut_up_this_is_not_a_game_is_anorexia_cool/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Healthy Binge Foods and Recipes.
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 19 15:52:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k4y3u/healthy_binge_foods_and_recipes/
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I'm gonna probably buy about a half pound of spinach and eat it tonigh :/ I was just wondering if anyone wants to share some delicious healthy food that is binge worthy. Kinda as motivation to stay healthy when a binge is on coming.


A good one for me is a half cup of cottage cheese, a tbsp of sunflower nuts, and peeled and cut mandarin orange. Dense food, lots of protein, wonderful citrus fruit benefits. Serve it in a bowl lined with spinach to get more nutrients. Even can get unhealthy people to eat this one usually and it's about 200 kcal.

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[Help] Dear Dutchies/Europeans
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu May 19 15:44:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k4wom/dear_dutchieseuropeans/
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As we probably all know, EC stacks and bronkaid aren't legal here. (Cries)
Has anyone found something alike that is? I kind of need all the help I can get right now :(

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[Goal] I've got a date!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu May 19 14:42:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k4lfz/ive_got_a_date/
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Next Thursday, motivation!! Time to work hard hard hard to get in shape for him :)

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[Intro] Super nervous about this.
/u/ameliacee [5'7" | 134.2 | 21.0 | F]
Created: Thu May 19 14:24:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k4hyw/super_nervous_about_this/
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So I have been on reddit for years now. I only lurk and look every once in a while for laughs. But I did a search one day and found this sub and I can't stop reading. Like a lot of you, I've had an ED since my early teens. Probably around 12-14 it started to get bad. I am bulimic, but do go through periods of restriction and exercise excessively. I purge even after eating small meals, and my binges don't often exceed more than 1,000 kcal.

I hate it and I hate that losing weight makes me feels good.

You guys have unknowingly helped me keep my eating in control. For instance, a while back someone mentioned halo top ice cream. Something I had no idea existed. I went to the store and found a surrogate called Arctic Zero and was able to feed my bloodlust for ice cream without the guilt and need to purge. Then exercised it off with ease.

I often make food then immediately throw it in the trash. Or just throw them directly out and say I was cleaning the fridge. Today I saw french fries in the freezer and began to cook the entire bag before killing the urge to binge and threw it out.

My boyfriend is sweet, has a healthy relationship with food, and has no clue about any of this. He knows I've had issues in the past but I'm terrified to tell him. I was just with him this morning, he had me eat an egg sandwich that he got on the way home from doing errands. Food in this way is a kind gesture from him. And I love him and don't want to hurt his feelings by not accepting/I told him I was hungry so he would think it's weird. I came home to try to do my 4/5+ mile run and got stopped dead by horrific period cramps. Please pain meds work faster.

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[Rant/Rave] Skinny Fat
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 19 13:13:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k45bt/skinny_fat/
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So yesterday me and my boyfriend were talking about BMI vs Body fat%, which I honestly don't know a whole lot about except that I want both to be like.....0. anywho, for the rest of day/night all I did was obsessively research BMI and body fat%. Basically the conclusion that I came to is that no matter how much weight I lose and how low my BMI is, i'm still gonna be fat. The page I was reading said something along the lines of "you can have a low weight but still have a large body fat % if you aren't working out your muscles" and that its called skinny fat. I had heard the phrase before but I guess I didn't know what it really meant. I was devastated, I felt so shitty and like all of this work and shit i'm putting myself through is pointless. I'm always going to be fat. I just wanted to go to bed and cry. I don't know how to workout, i have such awful social anxiety and paranoia that everyone is watching me i can't see myself going to a gym. I already knew that no matter what i did i would probably never be happy with my body but now any realistic or achievable goals i had are never going to happen either. I just feel very lost and don't really know what to do with myself right now.

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[Help] Help?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 19 12:04:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k3sve/help/
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[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Why do people insist on saying "I want to be anorexic", even though what they really mean is "I want to restrict successfully"?
/u/kalefackcal [174 cm/ 5'8 | 47.6 KG/105 pounds | 15.7]
Created: Thu May 19 11:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k3lcy/why_do_people_insist_on_saying_i_want_to_be/
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That's it. Bitchy mood today.

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[Thinspo] Definitely in the small boobs club.
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | 104.5 | 18.65 | -37.5 | Female]
Created: Thu May 19 10:36:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k3cdz/definitely_in_the_small_boobs_club/
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http://imgur.com/GMTwJtO

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Today my friend told me "accept yourself, you'll never be as thin as Eugenia Cooney because of your age and height".
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 19 10:04:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k36gr/today_my_friend_told_me_accept_yourself_youll/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu May 19 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k3603/daily_food_diary_may_19_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Goal] Didn't surrender to my plateau, finally on the other side
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 19 09:58:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k3594/didnt_surrender_to_my_plateau_finally_on_the/
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http://i.imgur.com/1E6SaQc.jpg

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[Discussion] The more weight I lose, the fatter I feel.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Thu May 19 09:52:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k346q/the_more_weight_i_lose_the_fatter_i_feel/
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In September 2014 I hit my lowest adult weight of 111. Today, I reached that again, yay! But I don't feel any thinner. In fact, I feel fatter. I have a long way to go until I'm at my goal weight/the weight I was at when I was diagnosed with anorexia as a teenager, and I'm scared that I'm going to continue to get thinner and thinner (according to the scale) but in the mirror I'll look fatter and fatter.

Is it just the body dysmorphia fucking with my head? Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you overcome it?

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[Other] Everyone Talks About Their Dream Adjectives, I Found One I Never Want.
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 19 09:07:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k2w3j/everyone_talks_about_their_dream_adjectives_i/
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http://m.imgur.com/GV3E50m

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[Other] first time posting a progress selfie...ever.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 19 09:04:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k2vmt/first_time_posting_a_progress_selfieever/
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Sorry for the creepy purple head blob, I'm hella paranoid about being doxed. 112 lbs this morning, noticed some visible lower ab definition and a wider thigh gap, felt kinda good about it. Please excuse the potato quality photo, and smudgy ass mirror.

[uggghh posting this makes me so nervous](http://imgur.com/a/X0Q60)

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[Help] Your recommendations for amphetamine-type medications for an ADD diagnosis?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 173.8 | 28.05 | -46.2 | F]
Created: Thu May 19 09:01:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k2v2h/your_recommendations_for_amphetaminetype/
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I'm seeing my psychiatrist today and I want to talk to him about the difficulty I've been having with concentrating and focusing on tasks. It's legitimate concern of mine and it's affecting my life to the point that I feel it needs to be addressed. I'm hoping my doctor will recommend a prescription to help me with it and I know that medications used for ADD are also used off-label for weight loss. So I'm wondering- those of you who have taken medications like Ritalin/Adderall/Provigil/Vyvnase, what is your opinion of the medication you took/are taking? Any unpleasant side effects?

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[Tip] Magic Modafinil for appetite suppression
/u/FatUnderThreat [5'6" | 129.8lbs | 20.53 | F]
Created: Thu May 19 07:49:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k2jbm/magic_modafinil_for_appetite_suppression/
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Hi! I lurk a lot on this sub, and I am so jealous of you guys from the States, between your Halo Top and your low cal Trader Joe foods I’m always reading about... sigh!! I’m Irish, so chances are I might get to taste some form of low calorie ice cream in about 30 years!

Anyway, I also see a lot of posts about EC stacks, and the anxiety a lot of people have in asking for stuff like Bronkaid. Just my personal input about appetite suppressants; a friend gave me some Modafinil before that he got online. It was AMAZING. It’s main selling point is its a ‘nootropic’ so your super focused and energised, but I found it to be an absolutely brilliant appetite suppressant. I think about food every second of the day – what will my next meal be, how many calories were in that, etc – and when I was on modafinil, I didn’t think about it – let alone eat it – the entire day. I actually felt like a normal person.

I ordered some tablets myself and whoever I wanted to do a 24 hour fast I would take some. Fast forward to about 6 months later and I had managed to convince my doctor to write me a prescription – now I get them from an actual legit chemist ;)

Anyway just thought I’d mention it as a great alternative to having to ask for stuff OTC. The site I ordered from was Modafinilcat, but I am in no way advocating buying medication online... please be careful, do your research. I DID have to get it sent to a P.O. box company, but it was worth it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, maybe you can convince your doctor to prescribe it to you to “improve concentration and energy levels” like I did mine.... (I’m not add, I am just constantly exhausted and she knows this)

TL;DR – Modafinil = my favourite appetite suppressant. Ever!

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[Other] Road trip—UGH and also maybe YAY?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Thu May 19 07:35:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k2h9p/road_tripugh_and_also_maybe_yay/
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About to hit the road in a few hours to drive across the country with BF and the cat. Ordinarily I would be stressing over being unable to exercise and having someone with me for three meals a day...except that after a couple of good months I've been b/ping like its my job for the last few weeks, and hopefully this trip will force me to stop. Yeah, all my eating will be watched (which is awful), but then again *all* my eating will be watched (so at least I can't binge). It's crazy but just ONE day breaks the cycle for me...but getting through one day is so fuckin hard without an outside influence. Hopefully I can get back to high restricting while traveling (and explain that it makes sense cos we're sitting down all day), and that'll set me up for another round of serious cutting once we arrive.

Wish me luck - and if you have any tips to stay sane on a road trip I'm all ears!

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[Goal] Time to update my flair and set a new GW!
/u/prettyvac4nt [5' | 105lb | 21.6 | -18lb | F]
Created: Thu May 19 06:47:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k2a8c/time_to_update_my_flair_and_set_a_new_gw/
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http://i.imgur.com/ueqEIUL.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] Getting angry cause I'm not exercising
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Thu May 19 06:35:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k28h6/getting_angry_cause_im_not_exercising/
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I've been overloaded with social and work commitments recently.

It's stupid. I can't enjoy music society things I normally like.

Because when I am at them I am sitting there thinking "I could be on the elliptical machine right now".

"I could be burn calories instead I am just sitting here being fat".

It's ridiculous.

This is taking up more and more and more of my mind every day now.

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[Discussion] Anyone else love feeding people?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 | 27/F | SW: >230lbs - CW: 95lbs - GW: 90lbs OR 95lbs+muscle]
Created: Thu May 19 06:17:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k25sw/anyone_else_love_feeding_people/
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I love making really fancy meals, and baking really fancy things, making handmade chocolates etc for other people. I get excited when there is a birthday or something, so I have an excuse to bake a birthday treat. I'm really happy when I ask someone if I can cook a nice meal for them and they say yes (I never do it without reason or permission because I would HATE that).

I know it's because I really, really want to eat the things I can make.. but never do, and never make the things for myself. So I want at least someone else to enjoy them. I'm obsessed with food and recipes and how to make things nice..

So, just wondering - anyone else?

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[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support May 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu May 19 06:02:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k23wb/weekly_emotional_support_may_19_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Goal] my boyfriend cheated and i spurred progress in me.
/u/thishour [64 in | 113 lbs | | -12 | F]
Created: Thu May 19 05:28:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k2010/my_boyfriend_cheated_and_i_spurred_progress_in_me/
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http://i.imgur.com/QQCRmdO.jpg

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[Goal] To add to the flair talk of late
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Thu May 19 04:45:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k1vqt/to_add_to_the_flair_talk_of_late/
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I'm vowing to update my flair every Friday. Good. Bad. Same. Whatever.

I'm finally finding my way out of weeks of binging (and finding an extra 10 pounds on the scale) and I've been hardcore avoiding updating my weight.

But as I stared at the damage on the scale this morning, I realized I'm that weight whether or not my flair claims it. And it's gross and it's ugly but it's honest.

So I'll be updating tomorrow. No matter what the scale says. And every Friday thereafter.

Enjoy your Thursday, dolls.

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[Help] Can I buy Bronkaid every 12 days without them thinking I make meth?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 19 04:05:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k1rpy/can_i_buy_bronkaid_every_12_days_without_them/
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The packs are only 24 pills, so I'm kind of worried. I am obviously too fat for them to think I'm on meth or anything. Har har har.

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[Rant/Rave] I absolutely hate the term "healthy"
/u/littleredhoodrat [5'4 | 108 | 18.9 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu May 19 00:41:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k17p3/i_absolutely_hate_the_term_healthy/
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I don't know why but when I hear it, it feels equivalent to "fat." I was drunk the other night and ended up having a discussion with a stranger about my ED issues and he said I looked like a *healthy weight* and now I feel like crying for days.

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[Discussion] DAE dream about food then feel shitty about it when they wake up?
/u/36bulletking63
Created: Wed May 18 23:35:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k10e7/dae_dream_about_food_then_feel_shitty_about_it/
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Only to realize it was just a dream and your actually alright.

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[Help] Those with BED, how did you go about being diagnosed and what methods does your counselor use to help?
/u/TooDeadToCare [5'5" | I don't wanna talk about it | +100 | F]
Created: Wed May 18 22:42:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k0uax/those_with_bed_how_did_you_go_about_being/
---
I'm getting bad. Seriously. Food to cope is ridiculously hard for me to stop.

I'm afraid to talk to my doc and have her pretty much tell me to eat less and exercise more. Duh, I know that's how to lose weight. I'm not dumb, I just have no control and intense emotions I can't handle. I don't need another professional, though, to make me feel like a failure cause I'm a fat fuck without any control. Or judge me for being a sack of lard.

Ps: no flair cause I'm on my cell

---

[Rant/Rave] Something my ex said which upset me
/u/prettyvac4nt [5' | 105lb | 21.6 | -18lb | F]
Created: Wed May 18 21:43:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k0n7p/something_my_ex_said_which_upset_me/
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this is kind of an off topic/silly thing but I don't have anyone else to tell.

My ex boyfriend said that I've become a different person and that I'm embarrassing and clingy.
I know he was just trying to hurt me but I'm already paranoid about having bad social skills and not being able to socialise/make friends easily, so his comment just broke my (already fragile) self esteem.

Even though this was an insult over my personality, I think I'm taking it out on my physical self-image. Like the only thing which can make me feel better is losing weight.

I've barely eaten since he said it, and I don't care that I'm letting an ex affect me like this. Any motivation is good motivation if it leads to more weight loss. I've thrown my 500-800 a day target out the window, my new goal is as close to 0 as possible.
I have to see him again in a few weeks so I need to do this to make myself feel confident in my own body and to also prove to myself that I am a strong person.

Once upon a time I would have been dealt with the anger/hurt by binge eating but it never made me feel better, only 10x worse. So I'm proud of myself for not even considering it this time.

My current boyfriend can't know about this, if he sees that I'm letting it affect me then he'll be hurt that my ex still has the power to hurt me and he'll be freaked out if he knows how little I've been eating recently.

The phase "revenge bod" comes to mind lol, I am 100% doing this for myself and I've been restricting for a while now, but it'll definitely give me satisfaction to know when he tried to hurt me he actually has ended up helping me.

It's a bit fucked up but I'm so glad I can tell people honestly about my real feelings X

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[Rant/Rave] If today was any indication, this summer is going to be hell.
/u/morningbirds [5'6" | 129 lb | 20.91 | F]
Created: Wed May 18 20:54:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k0g97/if_today_was_any_indication_this_summer_is_going/
---
I'm home for the summer, which means I can't restrict the way I need to. My mom pays too much attention to what I eat. I can't get away with fasting or having a single sub-300 calorie meal per day the way that I can when I'm away at college (my boyfriend is thankfully very understanding, so even though he sometimes catches on to what I'm doing and tries to convince me to eat more, he doesn't pressure me, because he gets that it really just makes me more anxious). I haven't gone more than about a week and a half without fasting in months. Going over 1000 calories puts me in a panic. But now I have to do exactly that, every. Single. Day. I'm going to lose so much progress and there's no way around it.

Today was a damn nightmare; we went out to brunch AND we ordered pizza for dinner. I couldn't find nutrition information for the brunch place, so it's hard to even estimate how many calories I had today, which is terrifying by itself. I'm guessing it was around 2000 total though, which is WAY above maintenance for me. I'm freaking the fuck out because I can't make up for it with a fast the way I normally would; hell, I can't even reliably restrict. I might have to eat like this every day. I'm so scared. Right now, I'm so bloated I look pregnant. By the end of the summer, I'll probably look like this even without bloating, because I can't let my mom know about my relapse. She absolutely *cannot* find out.

I don't know what to do. I need to lose so much more, at least 20-25 pounds, but the way things are going, the opposite is bound to happen.

---

[Goal] Exercise and lbs/wk
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 18 20:47:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k0f6v/exercise_and_lbswk/
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I over ate again today. Had a bit of a binge with some chocolate and peanut butter. Still I kept it under 1500 kcal and purged some of that. I worked my butt off biking today though, go uphill route! So exercise and BMR has me about 3500 kcal, and dang if I didn't think I was gonna pass out. So deficit goal met for the day.

The other wonderful thing was looking at my tracking diary and realizing I have broken the 1 lbs/wk "healthy" weight loss. Two pounds and looking like three pounds. Even with binge days of 1200-1600 kcal, I've been punishing myself with exercise so much that my weekly deficits have been turning kinda drastic.

Seems too good to be true. Almost anxiety inducing that I'll let progress go to my head.

---

[Other] Getting close...
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 111 | 20.21 | -31 | F |]
Created: Wed May 18 20:07:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k0989/getting_close/
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Can see the light in the top. Now to get rid of these fat thighs....

http://imgur.com/a/wJRUk

---

[Help] They discontinued my "eating ritual" food....
/u/azureice1984 [5'5.5 | 102 | FAT | lost 65ish lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 18 19:52:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k0702/they_discontinued_my_eating_ritual_food/
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Im at a loss.

I found out earlier this week.

I have a lot of safe foods but there's so many rules to how i can eat them and terror i might overeat and sometimes it's too over whelming and i just cant figure out it.... The rules change A LOT, and a lot of the rules are contingent on the current&last few days' intake, so it just gets really really complicated.

But i had 1 specific combination of safe foods with very specific methods for preparing it and eating it which didnt change. They NEVER changed. I knew where everything neededto be and what i needed to do when, while eating it. And so i could fall back on this, if i ever couldnt-fucking-deal with figuring out food.

I can no longer obtain it. It's gone. Forever.

I have such mixed emotions. Unease. Fear. Loss. Hope (that ill eat less without it, of course). Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety... lots of rapid thoughts about what might happen now and most of them seem like really bad scenarios.

I really wish i had another ritualed food to fall back on, bc i am very uneasy about this. But i dont feel i CHOSE that food to be ritualed, it just happened thru circumstances which cant be repeated. :/

Someone tell me that it will be ok. I just need to hear some beautiful lies right now

---

[Thinspo] ProED novels?
/u/wishfulthinkings [5'4" | 133.2 | 23.31 | -40.8]
Created: Wed May 18 19:27:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k03k9/proed_novels/
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Anybody have any favorite novels about ED, but in a pro sense? I like reading different stories but I'm tired of the "found God and recovered" trope.



Some of my favorites:

- Starved by Michael Somers

- The Disappearing Girl by Heather Wood

- French Fries by Athena Doshi

---

[Rant/Rave] Ate at maintenance today and feel terrible.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 | 27/F | SW: >230lbs - CW: 95lbs - GW: 90lbs OR 95lbs+muscle]
Created: Wed May 18 19:25:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k038y/ate_at_maintenance_today_and_feel_terrible/
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Usually forgive myself if I eat as much as maintenance on Wednesdays (even though I prefer below 750) because it's a lifting day, but I really desperately need to save up calories and lose weight for the weekend after next. I'll be going to a fair with my partner which I want to look cute for, and I wont be able to get out of/even resist eating/binging on so much fair food. And my father is insisting on taking me out to eat that weekend on another day too.. I wont be able to get out of that.

Why do I have to be so hungry after the gym. Why do I have to be so hungry in general. Why do I have to be hungry at all. Hungry to the point of tears that I just get up and have something to eat.

I'll never ever be skinny. I'm putting weight on all the time now. Whatever waist I had is disappearing, and I was so close to having a nice one. I am a failure. I'm getting fat again.

---

[Goal] Under 2,000 today
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Wed May 18 19:19:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4k02ar/under_2000_today/
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For a binge, that's not so bad. Pitiful, still, but hey, it's something.

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[Goal] Finally under 100!
/u/deadtime3am [5'2 | 99 | 18.7 | A]
Created: Wed May 18 18:48:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jzxy3/finally_under_100/
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I can't begin to describe how awesome and happy this makes me. Just need to get to 90 now

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[Help] Is the "new" BMI calculator actually more correct?
/u/suikerliefde [5'1 | 109.4 | 21.5 | -180lbs | ♀]
Created: Wed May 18 18:15:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jzt7c/is_the_new_bmi_calculator_actually_more_correct/
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i know it gives short people a higher number and tall people a lower number, and as a short person i'm DREADING using the "new" BMI.

(i know its not new but people keep saying i should use it and then i saw this sub's sidebar, idk)

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[Rant/Rave] Two victories today.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 18 17:07:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jzivq/two_victories_today/
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A) thank you /u/MermaidHeart for inspiring me to move my flair UP. Yes, I've been dreading this and yes, it is a moment of defeat. But I feel like every time I look at my "115" flair I sigh with anxiety and dread. I want my flair to reflect honesty and struggle, even if only for myself. I've struggled my way back up to ~120-123 and now I'm going to victoriously struggle my way back down to 115. And I'm going to allow myself the victory of changing my flair to a lower number as that happens. Thank you. Oddly enough, moving my flair up to reflect my current wait is a symbolism of letting go of the feeling of "failure" and accepting the weight I am & that I'm starting new again.

b) I bought a bike yesterday and picked it up today. I already rode it for 2 hours around my city today and it was AMAZING. I felt like a little kid again, navigating the sidewalk, letting the wind run over my entire body. I couldn't check my phone (I just broke up with my bf so checking my phone constantly is a current struggle), couldn't listen to music, could only ride and flow. Whenever I stopped to take a sip of water, I'd notice my sweat-soaked shirt. I was working out like crazy but it didn't even feel like it. I rode my new bike to my job and back to estimate the time so I can start doing this everyday. It is 30 minuets there, 30 minutes back. A guaranteed hour of riding every day + kickboxing + the gym. I ate a decent amount of food today (still under TDEE) and I would feel horrible about it except all of this physical activity is making me feel...healthy about it. I've been wanting a bike forever and I know it's a huge expense but I just dove in and did it and I'm SO happy. I will save gas, car mileage, and get exercise all while doing something that makes me feel alive.

Thanks for listening, I love sharing my victories with you all <3

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[Rant/Rave] Sickness fast weightloss
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 100 | 16.4| F]
Created: Wed May 18 16:57:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jzhcf/sickness_fast_weightloss/
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So I was eating around 1000 cals last few weeks with little to no results. I have no idea what did I ate the weekend or monday morning that got me stomach sick. Since the last time I weight my self I have lost 5kg / 10pounds. I am so happy, I wish this keeps going like this. This hurts but is worth it. I just want 3 kg more gone.

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Causes, Symptoms, Signs & Treatment Help for Eating Disorders
/u/Jachreet
Created: Wed May 18 16:43:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jzeye/causes_symptoms_signs_treatment_help_for_eating/
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http://paincure.info/2016/05/13/causes-symptoms-signs-treatment-help-for-eating-disorders/

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[Intro] Bingefest (an intro of sorts) - long and angsty
/u/whiimsii
Created: Wed May 18 16:38:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jze4b/bingefest_an_intro_of_sorts_long_and_angsty/
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[ long time lurker, first time poster, sorry for no flair, always on mobile ]

This is my first ever post on this sub. It feels like most of the people on here don't struggle with the things I do but I feel absolutely vile right now and have to let it out somehow so here it goes (will probably be long as hell).

I won't go into the history of it all but I have undiagnosed BED or some type of EDNOS, I'm not sure what it is but at this point the name of the diagnosis doesn't matter because it's ruining my life anyway.
Although ED's been wreaking havoc on my mind and my physical wellbeing, I am very happy to say that weight-wise, in spite of all the junk I've been force feeding myself these past few years, I'm not quite morbidly obese yet! I'm thankful to myself that I've somehow been able to keep myself at "only" a slightly overweight BMI on the outside while slowly and surely crumbling on the inside, with every binge I put myself through. When people look at me they're probably still more inclined to think "tee hee well she looks like she's a real 'foodie' " rather than "she seems like a whole cheesecake, 4 doughnuts and 3 bags of crisps in one sitting type of girl". In times like these, I cannot help but feel grateful for my strong orthorexic tendencies. Thank fucking god for the yin to my yang. Thank god that when I'm not binging on 5000 calories per meal I have a clean eating obsession.
At my worst I go through periods where I binge almost every day. And we're talking about the real shit here, people. Total lack of control. Incontrollable compulsion to consume everything in sight. Easily 4000-5000 cals consumed in one sitting, on an average session. Stomach splitting, food coma, shivering on the floor wishing that it all please ends now and that I don't have to wake up tomorrow and see my ugly fucking bloated self and face the world. The whole excruciating package. And yet, I end up doing it all again so soon after.
You name every embarrassing food related thing that comes to mind and I've probably done it. Binge in front of people? Check. Eat from trash? Check. Buy food for special occasion, eat it all. Buy food for special person, eat it all. Binge in the bathroom at work. Steal food, eat it, replace it later? Yup. Steal food, eat it, replace it, eat it again, replace it again. Steal food, eat it, forget to replace it? Ugh I can't even... The list just goes on.
My binging isn't even about food anymore. I sometimes doubt it ever was. I have no safe food. Nothing is "safe". If 1. I can easily shove it in my mouth 2. it doesn't taste like a week old decomposing rodent, we're good to go! 👍 I've binged on the stupidest, most unpalatable crap you could possibly fucking imagine! Fucking solidified coconut oil from the jar. Plain linseed. Raw, unseasoned vegetables? Sign me up! Porridge oats straight from the fucking bag? No problem at all! That horrid gloopy Ambrosia stuff that comes in a tin (UK people will know what I'm talking about)? Fuck yea I'm all about that shit! I even had it today!
Like many on this sub, I dream of reaching a point where I ~magically~ become happy with my body. A moment where I've reached that wonderful weight where it all just feels right and I can be normal. I fantasise about a life where I don't think about food 24/7. Where I'm not so contradictory, extreme and black and white. I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. I eat whatever I feel like that day. That shit is effortless to me. I don't find myself frantically power walking up and down supermarket isles 5 minutes before closing time, throwing random food items in my basket. Hell, I don't even *think* about eating, if anything it's kind of a nuisance to me, I have other things to do! That's who I deeply desire to be but I'm afraid I never will. I'm afraid I've broken myself past the point of repair.
But if I'm gonna be broken anyway, might as well be broken and skinny right? I have never, ever ever ever in my life been small or felt petite or beautiful or hell, even adequate. I was a "normal" size for most of my existence yet for some reason I always looked bigger than others, even at a normal weight. I have a giant, bulky, disgustingly muscular frame with the worst proportions ever. I have always always always felt ugly and fat and unlovable.
Something recently clicked and I got it in my head that I'm going to be thin if it kills me. That I can't spend the rest of my life never knowing how it feels to be small. Except... Nope. I was doing so beautifully restricting these past weeks and I just had to royally fuck it up yesterday with one of the worst binges of my life, complete with panicky pre-binge snacking ("if I eat these things maybe I can forget about those other things that I'm REALLY craving"), panicked run to the supermarket, inhaling enormous quantities of food in one go and ofc, the obligatory feelings of self-loathing and physical distress during the whole process. Man, how I did NOT want to drag my ass to work in the morning, let me tell you that.
And logically, I was basically obligated to follow it up with another binge today (in spite of being so physically ill from yesterday's binge that I was shaking and almost vomited many times throughout the day). Because we can't just binge once and move on with our lives now, can we? So, so, so freaking bad.

I want to never have a physical need or desire for food again. I want it to disappear from my life forever. Someone as gluttonous, deranged and self-destructive as me is an utter waste of life and should just be exterminated immediately. I'm a sad excuse for a human being.

I'll leave it at that. It's been very cathartic writing all of this down. Thanks so much for reading this giant wall of text, if you have.
I'm aware not everyone can relate to my specific struggles but I know I'll get no judgement on this sub as you are the loveliest people ever... Even as just a lurker I feel connected to some of you whom I see here often (I mean this in the least creepy way).
I truly wish you all the best and I'll see you around 🙂

[TMI] In the meanwhile, I'm debating whether I should do a coffee fast tomorrow or stuff myself with tons of fibre to get all this (literal) shit out of my body as soon as possible...

---

[Discussion] Waist to hip ratio/Body shape?
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 18 16:30:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jzcwp/waist_to_hip_ratiobody_shape/
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Does anyone measure this? I did today and popped it in an online calculator. My ratio is 0.76 and I'm a rectangle. I don't know how I feel about this. I really want to be an hourglass, but also don't want huge hips. I hope some weight comes off my waist. :(

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[Discussion] Have you connected irl with strangers?
/u/_saisonenenfer [175cm | not thin :( | M]
Created: Wed May 18 15:26:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jz1t9/have_you_connected_irl_with_strangers/
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About ed. Like, unexpectedly with maybe a gal/guy in school or thru work or friends friends. Is that appropriate? What do you say? I wonder if ppl have noticed it at me but never approached me with something we could bond with. Hope this made sense. Appreciate if you could share your experiences or give advice.

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[Rant/Rave] Roommate got back from a 3 week vacation. Noticed my weight loss. /Happy dance
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Wed May 18 13:38:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jyi5k/roommate_got_back_from_a_3_week_vacation_noticed/
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I was honestly curious if it was noticeable to anyone who hasn't seen me on the reg. I've officially lost 11lbs in 3-4 weeks.

I told him I had lost 10, and he was like, "I thought so, but I didn't want to say anything".

Bro. When. . . Why. . . . Why you no want to say such good news out loud?!

So excite.

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[Other] Changing that flair....
/u/MermaidHeart [5'6" | 124lbs | 21.1 | 16lbs | Female]
Created: Wed May 18 13:14:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jydns/changing_that_flair/
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I'm on here a lot, and I'm always looking at everyone's flair trying to figure out where everyone is/what everyone is doing.

The best feeling in the world is when I need to comment or post, and I get to change my flair to a lower weight.
Every time I step on my scale, I think of that flair under my name. I picture myself typing out a lower number than the one that was there before. My number has been decreasing for the past few months (since March). Today I entered my new weight for the past couple of days - 124lbs. In March, at 146, I couldn't imagine what that would be like. Shit just looks GOOD. I bought new pants for my small(er) ass, and all my shirts are baggy and loose but in a sexy way. Underneath all these layers, you won't find a fat bulge, or a tubby gut.

Good luck to you all <3

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[Intro] ...And I'm back.
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | Fat | Super Fat | F]
Created: Wed May 18 12:16:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jy2sy/and_im_back/
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Looks like locking someone away and force feeding them hospital food three times a day to "treat" an eating disorder doesn't work.

Who woulda thunk it?


¯ \_(ツ)_/¯

I only said goodbye like 3 weeks ago, just after getting out of the hospital, so this is pathetic.

But, I put on almost 15 pounds in inpatient and the siren call of EC + restricting got to me again.

I feel so much more in control again, I feel better.

What really set me off was that I can barely see my collarbones anymore. I feel sick whenever I look at them.

I missed you guys (and being skinny)

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[Tip] How to make vegetables and chicken tasty!
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 173.8 | 28.05 | -46.2 | F]
Created: Wed May 18 11:23:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jxsz7/how_to_make_vegetables_and_chicken_tasty/
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When I think about eating chicken and vegetables all I can think about dry bland chicken breast and bitter broccoli. BUT I found a solution: seasoning packets and dip mixes. You know, those little packets in the grocery store for tacos/chili/fajitas/meatloaf/brown gravy/onion dip/whatever. I made chicken with chili seasoning last night and roasted broccoli seasoned with McCormick "toasted onion and garlic potato" seasoning and it was fucking BOMB. As in I can't wait to eat it again tonight. The McCormick seasoning is 25 calories for a tablespoon and I probably used about that much but it was for an entire bag of frozen broccoli florets. The chili seasoning I used for the chicken is 25 calories for 1 1/3 tablespoons but I probably used ~2 tsp. Just put your veggies in a Ziploc with a bit of water and the seasoning then shake it up and dump it on a greased cookie sheet and throw it in your oven. I put the raw chicken in a Ziploc with the seasoning and squished it around until it was covered in the seasoning then plopped it in my skillet on low and put the lid on to keep the moisture in. Best dinner I've had in a looooooong time. And it was ~225 calories.

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[Help] Hot yoga?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 18 10:50:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jxmre/hot_yoga/
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I'm thinking about buying a membership to a hot yoga and spinning place that I found a good coupon for. I've lost 20 pounds and am now restricting again and hoping to lose at least 30 more, hopefully by the end of the year. I can get 5 months of unlimited yoga classes this way. I also run everyday. I've done hot yoga before and like it a lot, but I haven't done it while restricting. I'm eating between 800-900 calories and trying to hit at least 500 calories of exercise each day. I guess I worry that I might faint or something.

Anyone have experience with this? Should I do it?

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[Other] Goddamn Monster Bees
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed May 18 10:27:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jxigv/goddamn_monster_bees/
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So I am terrified of flying insects, especially the buzzing stinging variety that are the size of my hand. I was doing my daily pacing for fitbit (my new goal is 15000 a day!) and I actually burned some calories. I was in the middle of my next round when I heard it. A GIANT BEE IS IN MY HOUSE. And now I can't leave this room for fear of attack bees. So now I can add bees to the list of things making me a fat ass.

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new here
/u/fessie_rae
Created: Wed May 18 10:11:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jxfq2/new_here/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed May 18 10:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jxdze/daily_food_diary_may_18_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for May 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] Fat calves - do they ever go away?
/u/rachelcoiling
Created: Wed May 18 08:55:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jx1px/fat_calves_do_they_ever_go_away/
---
Ever since losing weight, everything has shrunk. My thighs, my waist, my arms, everything except my stupid huge beastly calves. I have a 25-inch waist and nearly 16-inch calves. Even getting down to 118 (I'm 5'5") my calves are still stupidly massive, and I feel like it's a permanent hallmark that "she used to be a fat girl." It's so embarrassing - do these ever go away, or was the damage already done years ago?

---

[Other] Soko- I think I'm pregnant. Song about ED :)
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Wed May 18 07:39:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jwp6g/soko_i_think_im_pregnant_song_about_ed/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs5W6Wxc-o0

---

[Rant/Rave] [rant] Breakup/makeup
/u/Richgirlhair [5'5" | 127 | 21 | F]
Created: Wed May 18 07:31:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jwnya/rant_breakupmakeup/
---
So my boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago and my ED has been like a creeper rebound hunter, telling me it's ok as long as I just don't eat and go to the gym every day.
The minute it happened(the breakup), I immediately felt nauseated and couldn't eat. I've been on 0-500 calories per sat for the past two weeks. I feel fuckin fine! Everything is great! I'm losing my mind!
I thought I was done with this shit and now all I can think about is that secretly kind of happy feeling I am feeling because I'm losing weight. I mean it's unhealthy, but it is distracting me from the misery and loneliness of watching your ex move on to a new girl before breaking up with you.
Lol end rant idk any more
To;dr: my body made up with my eating disorder. New account because I'm too paranoid to post on my regular acct.
edit: the new girl is the same height as me but like 90lbs and with no boobs. I'm super jealous and I cannot get over it.

---

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday May 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed May 18 06:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jwb7e/way_to_go_wednesday_may_18_2016/
---

This is the weekly achievement thread for May 18, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] Back on track
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | 119.05 | 19.83 | -22 | F]
Created: Wed May 18 05:57:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jwagz/back_on_track/
---
So I've recently moved to a different country and have lost all my mojo. I'm talking over 2000kcals per day for about a month. I've been becoming more and more aware of the weight I've been putting on... about 4kgs in less than a month. Shock horror.

This week was my worst and I have been bloated since Monday due to my gluten intolerance + lack of self control. I tried to solve it by having a few prunes, but a few prunes turned into 250g of prunes and I doubled in size again. I couldn't really move yesterday because of all the cramps and the bloating. I looked 6 months pregnant.

Today I finally had enough of my shitty behaviour. I've fasted the whole day and am absolutely buzzing with caffeine and nicotine. I feel in control and proud af. The only problem is the amount of cheese in the fridge which happens to be my favourite cheese... so I'm gonna have to face that monster later.

This community has really encouraged me to clean up my act though. Seeing all your guys' progress pics and success stories gave me motivation to clean my act up finally. So thanks to all of you ❤ hopefully I'll finish the rest of this week successfully and finally have my control back. YAY!!!!!

Also, any tips for my cheese problem? Thinking of maybe just gorging on lettuce while I mournfully stare at the cheese...

Update: the prunes have just kicked in. This was a bad life decision hahaha

---

[Help] I need protein dense safe foods
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 18 05:46:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jw978/i_need_protein_dense_safe_foods/
---
I noticed that my safe foods list has very little protein, yogurt or cottage cheese if I am up to eating them that day. Is there any proteins others eat? I was thinking maybe hard boil some eggs or skim milk. I don't know. I do need proteins though.


Edit: I just wanna thank everyone for the great advice. I'm definitely healthier than I was last time. Lab work came back well enough that the doctor just said, "eat a banana," which is different than concern and suppliments and dietician...

---

[Rant/Rave] So this is the damage I've done over the past three weeks
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed May 18 03:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jvwtf/so_this_is_the_damage_ive_done_over_the_past/
---
2,5 kg of actual weight gained. But I'm ready, I said no to pizza last night, I said no to the candy this morning and yes to diet coke. I'm gonna get rid of it, I don't want my thighs to touch. Fuck this, I'm gonna get skinny and beautiful.

---

[Rant/Rave] Can't sleep. Sort of a rant ...
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 18 03:02:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jvrj8/cant_sleep_sort_of_a_rant/
---
I feel as if the answers are hidden under my skin. If I go long enough, fight through, they will begin to protrude like small bones. I will read them with my fingertips and know the truth. But the flesh in the way makes me feel blind. Oh god I want it gone now.

Have I ever hated my body so much? All I hear is good job, wow almost 70 pounds lost, or even that I'm thin enough. And fuck fuck fuck I'm over a 23 BMI so shut the FUCK up. Average. But it doesn't look average on me. It looks obese. I don't know if it's just my bone structure or my height but my body DOESN'T look normal. My belly and tits sag, there are big lumps above my flabby/flat ass that should be hips but look all wrong. My thighs are HUGE. My arms wobble.

God please let me gain some control. I'm afraid if I'm not freed from this disgusting mass soon I may try to cut it off.

And he called me tiny.
Tiny.
Tiny.
Oh god I want to be tiny. I want it so bad. I want to be as frail as a plant. Can I just be a plant? Sunlight and water, maybe a few minerals on occasion? Carbon dioxide in my lungs that I'd turn to oxygen? Maybe then I'd have a reason to exist here.

---

[Discussion] What are your exercise habits if you exercise at all?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 18 02:55:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jvqr0/what_are_your_exercise_habits_if_you_exercise_at/
---
I cant wait until the reddit app I use allows me to flair posts from my phone... sorry

There's this girl in progress pics right now with abs that are essentially perfection... I have been running, doing weights, and then walking/hiking 3 times a week, but I'm thinking about upping that just because the girl said she worked out 4-5 times a week and I feel like shes beating me...

I'm such a bitch =(

---

Reaching the gap goal doesn't feel like enough
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 18 01:09:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jvgyf/reaching_the_gap_goal_doesnt_feel_like_enough/
---
http://i.imgur.com/1QezBC8.jpg

---

[Discussion] Do you ever enjoy eating?
/u/acertaingestault
Created: Wed May 18 00:12:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jvb4k/do_you_ever_enjoy_eating/
---
Like besides the stress around how much you eat, do you ever eat something and be like oh my god that was really delicious or do you ever eat really slowly and savor what the food tastes like? Seems like with ana there's too much stress, with binging it's like I ate in a dream and it lasts for such a short amount of time I don't even get to enjoy it and with purging obvi that is not done for flavor.

I'm just wondering what makes you happy to eat and maybe why if you feel like saying.

---

[Rant/Rave] Just holding myself accountable
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 17 23:40:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jv7go/just_holding_myself_accountable/
---
I had 600-700 kcal today but I didn't exercise and I'm feeling really crap about it. Tomorrow, I know that I want a mocha from a place that will me about 400 kcal and I don't know if I'm gonna eat something else. So I hope to get 90-180 min. of biking in. I just need to have a record of this somewhere so I will do it.


The way this has been going I can feel myself fully drop out of recovery habits. I just want to bike away from myself and food is starting to just revolt me. I'm going back to eating words and reading rather than having a meal. I know it's starting to control me again but it feels so good, so comfy.

---

[Rant/Rave] I hate this life
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 17 23:16:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jv4jx/i_hate_this_life/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Questions about running
/u/katiejay_ [5"9 | Godzilla | BMI 26 | F]
Created: Tue May 17 23:14:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jv49x/questions_about_running/
---
I'm thinking about running at night, but I know you burn more fat in the morning (because you keep burning a bit afterwards) but I am just NOT a morning person. I can't get up at 6 to go for a run as I go to sleep at around 1am on average, I need more sleep than that or I'll be a complete bitch. Also if I run at night, I won't be self conscious because no one will see me.

I hate it. Besides feeling like a sack of potatoes and having my thighs rub together, I'm really not fit and I am out of breath almost immediately. How long until I don't feel like this anymore?

How long do you run for? What specific benefits have you seen running give you vs just restricting? I know some people say running has helped their thigh gap develop faster, besides the obvious toning/skin tightening benefits while losing

Side questions - what's your favourite music or podcast to listen to?

I really want to make this work, I can't afford a gym membership and I don't have a lot of spare time, but I think I can fit in a run at night if I force myself to :)

**Update - Just did the first day of C25K and wow am I unfit! I am proud I managed to finish it, but I seriously feel like shit, even after a shower. My sinuses feel weird like I have a cold. I pray this gets easier haha**

---

[Discussion] Where do you guys buy bathing suits?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 17 21:46:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4juthw/where_do_you_guys_buy_bathing_suits/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] My Story, need some support...
/u/Smaylin [5'4.5" | 117lbs | 20.08 | -11lbs | GW: 98lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 17 21:34:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4juruf/my_story_need_some_support/
---
First of all i'll start with my stats. Im 5'4, female, age 22 and 125 pounds. You should know that this is around the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life. Now, i don't want to be insensitive, I know there is some of you who would kill to be that weight but this is extremely hard for me.

So i've always been veeerrry small growing up. I constantly received comments like "you should eat something" "you're a twig" "have you ate anything today?" I took it for granted, as this was just the way my body was naturally and I never did anything to keep my weight down.

In February 2015 I met my ex, he was foreign and extremely wealthy to the point that money was no object. We ate out nearly three times a day and didn't do much exercise in comparison to the calories we were eating. Because I had never had an issue with what I ate before I didn't think anything of this. Very quickly and I put on a large amount of weight. I don't know what changed in my body that food suddenly stayed on my body. I went from 104 to around 125/130. We broke up in August and my weight suddenly became noticed and very real to me. I was a mess. Because of my shame and the hurt of the breakup I was able to lose around 10 pounds but couldn't shake it all.

In September I met my current S/O and quickly became way to attached. I suffer from a mental illness called Borderline Personality Dirsoder /r/BPD and cannot regulate my emotions and become very emotionally dependent on people. This hasn't been too much of an issue up until now. Now that it's summer we have both moved back to our parents place until the next semester at Uni starts in August I've began to gain weight again. Our parents homes are 2 hours away by car. He is working and taking a course online as well as training for his upcoming soccer season. I am sitting at home doing nothing. I feel lost without his constant attention. My dependence on him and attachment to him has now transferred over to food.

I am completely and entirely absorbed with food and my weight. It consumes me. I have pages and pages of writing in my journal about "safe foods" and the calories in such foods. I have a list of foods I vouch to never eat again. The only problem is I cant stop eating. Every time I miss my S/O or im bored or I have anxiety or feel empty, I eat. I keep telling myself "tomorrow ill stop, tomorrow Ill restrict my calories, tomorrow ill only consume 500 calories" but I'm too depressed to refrain from eating.

I can't see my psychiatrist for another two and a half weeks. I know I need to change my medication (im currently taking 150mg of seroquel a day) because it also increases appetite.

I just need some encouraging words and advise.
I just ate half a pizza and I hate myself.

---

[Rant/Rave] Ever feel like a middle ground between restricting and binging is impossible?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 17 20:03:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4juf68/ever_feel_like_a_middle_ground_between/
---
I really started to like my body. This hadn't happened in so long. I saw pictures and I liked them so much and decided to maintain for a while, at least until I hate myself again.

So I decided to eat today. So I binged. Of course. I jumped from my usual 800 calories to 1800 calores, a 1000 calorie binge of bread and combos (stupid cheesy bastards) and chocolate almonds and peanut butter and I actually hate myself. I am huge and bloated. I've been drinking water and working out in my living room for the past two and half hours.

It's impossible. If I'm not restricting, I'll binge. Fuck.

---

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Too fat to fit into my new shoes
/u/TooDeadToCare [5'5" | I don't wanna talk about it | +100 | F]
Created: Tue May 17 19:48:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jucyh/rant_too_fat_to_fit_into_my_new_shoes/
---
I bought some new sandals (Choco's) to wear to get into walking and hiking again. I love doing those activities, but have been really depressed lately. It's caused me to completely drop any physical activity I was doing.


Bad news is that A) I had to order wide, and B) My feet are overflowing on the sides.

I got so excited over getting them to inspire me to be more active. Now I'm just upset at myself. HOW could I have gotten that bad where my feet are too fat for wide sized shoes? Have I really lost that much control? Looks like it.


Do I return them? And maybe get some other shoe? Or tough it out and hope to lose weight so that they will fit?

---

[Thinspo] Another girl I saw
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Tue May 17 19:41:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jubyj/another_girl_i_saw/
---
This girl at school. Is TINY. If she wasnt about 4 foot 8 she could be a model. Her eyes are huge and stand out on her round face. Ive seen her in the halls and shes always wearing this one pair of jeans, and her legs are thinner than my arms. She looks so delicate. The other day she wore leggings. I didn't want to stare and make her uncomfortable, but I couldn't help but glance over every once in a while. She looks like a tired fairy. I don't know her story or why she is so small, but I do know I think she is flawless.

---

[Discussion] Some days, I save all my calories for half a bottle of wine at night.
/u/Polegoalz [5'9" | 134 | 19.43 | 53 | F]
Created: Tue May 17 19:06:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ju6d3/some_days_i_save_all_my_calories_for_half_a/
---
I drink so infrequently (3-4x a month) that this is enough to get me tipsy. I realize it has like 300 calories, but sometimes ...I just need to forget. I'm lucky enough that I don't feel the need to turn it into a habit. is anyone else having a drink tonight? I just don't wanna be completely alone right now tbh :l

---

[Goal] A guy easily picked me up today and treated me like I was weightless. Goal reached!
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 17 17:30:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jts04/a_guy_easily_picked_me_up_today_and_treated_me/
---
At first I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack, but he was so sweet and he didn't seem to be straining. He made me feel so light... I can't even express how good it felt. I want more of that. It was a first date but I think there will be many more... He called me cute and tiny... Ahhh I'm just freaking out. I was really bummed out at the start of the day because the scale didn't move, but my fast is going well and this guy made me feel fantastic for a bit... so yeah.

---

[Discussion] King of upset I stop purging
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| trying to lose-25 lbs| F]
Created: Tue May 17 16:28:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jtikf/king_of_upset_i_stop_purging/
---
Actually I'm really upset.

I haven't purged in a couple weeks but i still binge and have the urge to do so.

Why can't I just look how I want to?

---

[Rant/Rave] 139.9
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Tue May 17 16:21:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jthf4/1399/
---
I broke 140s!

9.9 lbs to goal #3.
~~160~~,~~150~~, ~~140~~,130, 127, 123, UGW 118

I spent 6 weeks at 144lbs. 1 week of restricting and I'm down to 139.9. Yey for water weight that falls off! Now I'm off work for 3 days and need to find the self control to maintain IF and 850cal/day.

I want to be in the 138.x's on Saturday.

I will be in the recommended weight range for my height soon (135 to 138) and then I'll be on my way to my next goal.

I want to see my beautiful sternum again. I want my thighs to breeze past each other, never touching. I want my hips to curve elegantly along my hip bones, I'm so tired of them being buried under fat. I want to have a bridge where my fat tummy bulges.

I want to look in the mirror and see the thin person I haven't seen for 6 years because I ate her. For the first time in 6 years, I think it's possible.

---

[Help] how much can you do in 6 weeks?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Tue May 17 15:43:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jtb4y/how_much_can_you_do_in_6_weeks/
---
really sorry for posting so much in here today but my head won't stop buzzing. i'm going away in 6 and a half weeks time. I'm 5'0 and currently weight 114/115 lbs ish??? How much have you guys lost in 6 weeks? I just want to cry when I think about having to wear a bikini because I'm going to look like an actual beached whale, and wearing a swimsuit won't help cover up all the fat on my lower stomach. Any tips/advice?

---

[Help] How much weight do y'all lose on average per day when restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 17 15:09:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jt5i8/how_much_weight_do_yall_lose_on_average_per_day/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] so mad at my past self
/u/crapbeg
Created: Tue May 17 14:56:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jt36y/so_mad_at_my_past_self/
---
I've been tracking on mfp for a really long time now, and I thought that like half a year ago, I'd been restricting heavily. After reading over my old food logs (most of them inaccurate and underestimating my calories), I feel SO mad at myself. I'd stick to 800 ish during weekdays, but my weekend binges were literally insane - 2000+ calories on Fridays, Saturdays AND Sundays. I'm feeling so angry at not having had the self control to limit my weekend binges.

(At least now I know the reason that I 'just wasn't losing weight,' right?)

---

[Discussion] How do you deal with getting lightheaded?
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 119 | F]
Created: Tue May 17 12:05:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4js99w/how_do_you_deal_with_getting_lightheaded/
---
I get lightheaded quite often when I'm restricting. I usually take it as a sign that I need to eat something. However, it happens quite often when I'm out of the house and/or food is not an option at the moment. How do you all cure or prevent lightheadedness?

---

[Rant/Rave] Just a rant about a plateau and injury. Feel free to disregard.
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 17 11:22:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4js17a/just_a_rant_about_a_plateau_and_injury_feel_free/
---
May 13 - 130.8
May 14 - 130.4
May 15 - 130.2
May 16 - 130
May 17 - 130

How does this even happen when I eat 500-800 cals a day? Senna tea hasn't been helping much. Bought some Fibre + Prebiotic tablets so hopefully they help.

And to top this off, I was diagnosed with a rib connectivity issue. So now I can't even EXERCISE like a normal person, which obviously for me will mean more restriction.

Screw it. Fine. If these are the cards I'm dealt, I'll play. Water/tea/coffee only today. Game on, you stupid useless fat body. Get ready to be annihilated.

---

[Help] 6 Hour Tattoo Session: What do I eat?
/u/wishfulthinkings [5'4" | 133.2 | 23.31 | -40.8]
Created: Tue May 17 10:39:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jrt54/6_hour_tattoo_session_what_do_i_eat/
---
Help!! I need to keep my energy up for this tattoo session. What do I eat to keep my energy up and not blow my day for calories. I have already accepted that I have to eat more than I want today.

Things I have already got for the session:

* Odwalla Superfood

* Nuts

* Water

Any suggestions will be extremely helpful.

**Update:** Well I did great and ate only 800~ calories and made it through the session wonderfully. Maintained adrenaline and energy. But then my friend picked me up and I ended up binging on alcohol and nachos @ the bar. Another 800 calories...sigh...I suck...

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 17 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jrmhd/daily_food_diary_may_17_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] I'M STRESSING TF OUT
/u/princessxpixie [5"4.5 | 104lbs | 17.5 | -29lbs | Female]
Created: Tue May 17 09:52:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jrkrr/im_stressing_tf_out/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] i just signed up for online therapy...
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Tue May 17 09:42:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jriw7/i_just_signed_up_for_online_therapy/
---
i'm really nervous about it but i hope it helps. it's the same price as my previous therapist (about $20 a week) so that's good.

i think the breaking point for me was last night my gf said she was going to sleep after acting weird and then... went to sleep. meanwhile, i was up all night until i took melatonin (which causes me nightmares) thinking what i did wrong and why she left. this morning i got angry she didn't wake up early and say have a good day even though i never told her i had to be up early. i feel so irrational and unloveable that every little thing she does is like a slight against me and because i got fat. i'm really scared that i fucked up everything so i'm taking this step. i haven't told anyone yet, just you guys lol.

---

[Intro] Out of recovery
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 17 09:38:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jri4y/out_of_recovery/
---
This is me about 5 years ago. http://imgur.com/HA0ZlI3 I weigh about 115-120ish. I'm 5'6". This was a few months after hitting a low point and starting therapy, so I wasn't using a scale at the time. This is basically the only photo I have because I deleted almost everything that showed my body.

I was doing okay and hovered around 135 for a long time, but then I got half my thyroid removed. I was sick and depressed and my body wasn't working right, so it was the perfect storm. Now I'm huge. I got up to 180. I've been trying to do 1200 calories, and I lost 20 pounds.

But it isn't working and now I'm restricting again. This sucks and I am really upset that I lost total control of my body. Now I have a kid and a husband, so I am totally freaking out about seeming normal to them.

UGH.

Anyway, hi from a lurker.

---

[Help] This is a plateau if I've ever seen one
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 109 | 18.7 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue May 17 09:23:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jrfdc/this_is_a_plateau_if_ive_ever_seen_one/
---
On mobile no flair sorrysorry
I've been eating under ( by like 600 or more) or at maintenance for a week. WHY WONT THESCALE BUDGE?? I've been at 111-110 forEVER someone tell me what helps pls pls pls!

Note: not tips and tricks seeking, more looking for how to get over this :(

---

[Rant/Rave] Making myself feel better today after binging Mickey D's last night (fml)...
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: fat af | BMI: fat | GW: 115lb/52kg | F22]
Created: Tue May 17 09:06:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jrchz/making_myself_feel_better_today_after_binging/
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On mobile so no flair, but I'll add it when I get home.

So I binged at McDonald's last night (I know). My boyfriend ordered so much food, but I already ate. But instead of just getting to go and eating a little each day for a few days, I ate a shit ton. Fuck my life. I weighed myself for the first time in ages today (currently in between official places to live and don't have a scale) and oh my god. I weigh the most I ever have. I haven't pooped yet (sorry, TMI!) but still. I'm horrified. The weird thing is, other people don't notice how much I gained at all. But I can tell :-(

Anyway, I've been using Noom Coach and it's helping me be accountable and I decided today that maybe instead of pressuring the hell out of myself everyday, I should go with calories per week, so I calculated how much I can eat the next six days. I think I may have read something about it on here before when I was lurking, but I'm not 100%. But yeah, it makes me feel a little better, because I can still fix this, right? And instead of even eating the full calories per day, I can definitely fast a day or two! So I really hope things will be okay. The last plus point is that it *could* have been worse, like much much worse binging, but I'm still disgusted with myself. I'm glad I can vent on here and feel a little better though :)

I realize I should do a proper intro, but I really needed to vent first!

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[Goal] If you are stuck in that endless, horrible loop of "tomorrow is a new start", I'm here to tell you new beginnings are COMPLETELY achievable.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 17 08:03:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jr1yk/if_you_are_stuck_in_that_endless_horrible_loop_of/
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The past few weeks have been...so up and down. Up and down = horrible. I've been restricting all day and then bingeing it all back in ~15 minutes every night. I mean every. single. night. I did the "tomorrow is a new start" game EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. It mentally wrecked me. Physically wrecked me. I even purged a couple times. And self-harmed. Purging and self-harming have been out of my life for about 2 years. I've been in a really dark headspace and have felt hopeless and suicidal and stuck and victimized by this ED. This has resulted in about an overall 2 pound weight gain (but idk, because the scale fluctuates between 120.6-123.9). Regardless, I NEED to see <120.0 to feel in control again and I need to see 115.0. I need to set goals, I can't do this willy-nilly half-recovery, half-restriction bullshit anymore. It's another way to say restrict-binge-restrict-binge.

I told myself on Sunday that Monday would be a new start. I did really well yesterday. Now it Tuesday and (TMI) the laxatives I took last night were just induced by my morning coffee. I feel fresh and clean and NEW and flat. Intense carb cravings are gone since I restricted yesterday. My stomach didn't feel hollow with hunger pangs this morning for ONCE. It just felt hollow and tiny, flat and numb :) Today will be even easier. When I eat, it will be healthy. When I'm not eating, I will be losing fat. Point blank. I will work out. I will attend kickboxing then drive straight to the gym. I will stick with my established sleep schedule. I will start doing a potato or an apple pre-workout and a protein/greek yogurt smoothie post work-out because that worked for the longest time. It staved off binges, it gave me lean muscle and made me lose fat quickly. I will take my vitamins and my iron supplement and my fish oil. I will worship water. Small goals, accountability, POSITIVITY, self-improvement are the name of the game this time. I refuse to crumble.

I'm back.

I'm calm.

I'm EXCITED! I feel like other parts of my life are on track now. I scheduled a haircut for this week. I am on my way to the bookstore as we speak to continue online training for my new, amazing job position. I feel motivated to be productive. I feel centered. This morning, I bought musical festival tickets for July 22-24. Therefore, July 21st is my goal for 115.0. That knowledge alone is so relieving. That means I have about 2 months (8 WEEKS) to lose FIVE MEASILY POUNDS :) That is child's play. It'll be fun because I can eat healthily, I don't have to eat >500 cal a day and emotionally destroy myself. And I can play around with weight-lifting/skinny fit goals again since it is only 5 pounds in 8 weeks.

I feel so alive.

Thank you for listening, thank you for being there for me over the past 2 months. Idk what I would do without this sub. Truly.

<3

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[Rant/Rave] Skinny in all the wrong places and all the wrong ways.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 | 27/F | SW: >230lbs - CW: 95lbs - GW: 90lbs OR 95lbs+muscle]
Created: Tue May 17 07:25:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jqvmx/skinny_in_all_the_wrong_places_and_all_the_wrong/
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My family calls me too skinny. That's because I am only skinny in places they see.

I have a thigh gap, but not one of those nice triangular ones that appears right at the top. No, a knock-kneed one that runs down the whole length between my thighs, daylight pouring through - whilst the very tops of them remain flabby and close and full of cellulite.

I have skinny narrow hips. I'd love curvier hips. I'd love even more if I had curvier hips and a skinny, narrow waist.. rather than these skinny narrow hips, and a horrifically, extremely flabby rolly waist that I always cover with t-shirts two sizes too big. How can I blame them for not seeing, I suppose, when I purposely hide it.

They see my skinny arms and my flat chest. They don't see my oozing fat rolls under my armpits, or my back fat.

They see that my butt is flat, but they don't see how the fat on it is actually hanging down. Not to mention the ridge of the fat along the top, distorting it's shape disgustingly. And I know from experience, that doesn't go away with weight *gain*.. I need *loss*. More loss.

They like to mention that I look gaunt and tired, my eyes are sunken, but for some reason ignore my great big wobbling jowls. How can they ignore them like that?

They say I have 'nothing on me', but I very much do.

They say I am skinny, but I am not.

They just don't see what I see.

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A May 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 17 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jqjdn/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_may_17_2016/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Rant/Rave] So I woke up today thinking I actually looked okay...
/u/tobenothingatall [5'2 | 110 | 20.84 | -15 | f]
Created: Tue May 17 05:59:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jqiyx/so_i_woke_up_today_thinking_i_actually_looked_okay/
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Ugghh. Uuuuggghhhhhh.

I'm actually crying right now. I apologize in advance for the super whiny post.

So, I woke up this morning feeling halfway decent about my body and decided it would be a good day to take some progress pictures. Of course, I didn't take any at my high weight because I was to ashamed to even look at my body, let alone stand in front of a mirror for an extended period of time to photograph it. I did take some last year when I started to feel like my weight gain was getting out of control. I thought that would motivate me to stop getting fatter.

Obviously, that little accountability check did not work. I honestly believed that I was at least back to that point again. That I was at least that small again. But holy fucking shit. Not even close.

I know that I have a long way to go before I come close to reaching any goals, but I honestly didn't realize that I still look so disgusting. I can't imagine how anybody could even stand to look at me 12 pounds heavier. Like, what the actual fuck? Ew.

It doesn't make any sense to me. How can anybody look at me even now and tell me that I'm small? Is that a joke? Do people laugh behind my back after they say it? Because that has to be a fucking joke.

My legs make me want to vomit. I have fat bulging out the side of my bra. I took a picture of the back of me and had to delete it immediately because I literally look like a lumpy sack of potatoes from behind.

I am so overwhelmed. I don't want to leave my house today. I don't want anybody to see me until I'm actually small.

So here I am, laying on my bathroom floor crying my eyes out while I type this stupid post.

I'm sharing because I hope that I'll be better about holding myself accountable and being realistic about the way I look if other people are watching.

https://imgur.com/a/54kjE

Thanks for reading.

(Also, I apologize if I made any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm really to upset right now to edit.)

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[Rant/Rave] Krispy Kreme mistake
/u/fattymcfatface1
Created: Tue May 17 05:28:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jqf56/krispy_kreme_mistake/
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I made an account just to make this post.

I just ate a Krispy Kreme cheesecake donut. We just got the franchise recently in South Africa (where I live) and a coworker bought a box full as a treat for the rest of us. I tried to say no to the donut. But that just attracted attention, made everyone look at me like "why don't you want to eat this?". The guy who bought the donuts was clearly offended and really pushed me into feeling that I have to eat it. And then I did.

I feel horrible now. I wish I could purge but there is not a lot of privacy here at the office. Now I am freaking out, feeling how that shit is making me fat as we speak.

But I am not eating anything for the rest of the day!
And fasting tomorrow!
How can one donut screw up my head like this!?

I hope your day is going a bit better than mine! :)

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[Rant/Rave] hurt feelings over a stupid mistake :(
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 65kg (143lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Tue May 17 03:52:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jq50v/hurt_feelings_over_a_stupid_mistake/
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Okay, so I'm a vain bitch who needs validation. I asked my boyfriend if the [BMI Visualiser](http://www.bmivisualizer.com/)'s version of my height/weight looked like me. He agreed.. then I realised. That wasn't for my height/weight. That was for my height/plus 10kg! (22lbs).

Confidence. Ruined.

When I pointed this out, I showed him the correct one versus the one he saw. He said there was "practically no difference". 10 KILOS IS A DAMN BIG DIFFERENCE!

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[Rant/Rave] Epiphany
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Tue May 17 01:56:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jpu0z/epiphany/
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I just realized that if I want something I have to get it myself, and not to relay on anyone else to help me.
I know this sounds kind of stupid (specially at my age I should know better), but it hit med really hard yesterday.


I love my husband sooo much, and I don't doubt that he love me too, but....I always kind of had it in my head that I shouldn't restrict for him, try to be "normal" for him, out of love. (it is basically since I met him that I stopped restricting and ballooned to the ball I am now.

But why? Seriously! Why should I feel like absolute shit for something I not even sure he notices? He has noticed the gain (hard to miss!) And like....I know he looks at porn for example, I don't really mind it, I am of the mindset that its normal and not a "threat" to our relationship (I do it too). But I also know many of these women are gorgeous, and I feel so ugly in comparison....

I would love to have the confidence to never ever feel out shined, not just by models, but friends, sisters people on the street, I want to FIT IN with the good looking crowd.
And my realization came down to basically, I am the only one that can build up my confidence. My husband can at best help, but it is really up to me, and I have to make that happen no matter what it takes if I want to feel good about myself again.

And I think this is not only ED related. My problem is not only my weight, even though that is a HUGE part of it (pun intended). But also since I gained and started to feel ugly, I don't take care of myself the way I used to...I need to put on make up, and buy new clothes. AND of course loose all this lard I'm carrying around.

Sorry for the rant and thanks for reading ;)
I just had the epiphany and felt like I needed to get it out there!

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[Help] Any advice for not eating while driving/ breaking reward-based habits?
/u/donut_self_destruct [5'6.0" | 165.1| 26. 76 | -54. 7 | F]
Created: Mon May 16 22:52:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jp9zy/any_advice_for_not_eating_while_driving_breaking/
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So it's a common problem for people trying to lose weight to break bad food habits. I've done a pretty good job with most of mine, but I have this really unfortunate habit of feeling like I need to stop at a convenience store before I drive anywhere. I'm more often than not just picking up sugar free energy drinks anymore, but when I get into binge cycles it's really bad - meals that could feed 2 people while driving, an entire box of donuts... I don't think I could binge nearly as much as if I could stop this habit. I don't binge at home where people can witness it.

Now, I'm positive this started (like 8 years ago) because I have always had 35+ minute commutes. It's boring, food/drink is a reward that alleviates the boredom. At home, I go for a walk or play with my animals. In the car, I've got nothing. Any ideas for a distraction so I can stop this expensive (calorically and monetarily) habit? Unfortunately tea/coffee from home doesn't do the trick since I'm a caffeine addict and those are defaults, not rewards.

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[Goal] My guy friend just said my goal weight was "tiny"
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Mon May 16 22:21:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jp60d/my_guy_friend_just_said_my_goal_weight_was_tiny/
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And I am more motivated than ever! I want to fit that word "tiny" that he used. I can't wait for him to think I'm tiny! Its awesome!

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Fasting tomorrow! Would anyone like to join me?
/u/thin-kitty [5'6 | 134 | 22.6 | -101 | F]
Created: Mon May 16 21:50:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jp226/fasting_tomorrow_would_anyone_like_to_join_me/
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[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] I don't want to lie about my eating habits, but I also don't want to recover just yet.
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Mon May 16 21:27:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4joz0w/i_dont_want_to_lie_about_my_eating_habits_but_i/
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This is the only thing in my life right now that I feel a bit "happy" about. I feel happy when I see the numbers go down, when someone calls me skinny, when I can see my collar bones and count my ribs and rub my shoulder knobs.

But I'm also happy talking to this absolutely wonderful guy who cares so much about me. And I know it's hurting him. And knowing that it's hurting him, hurts me.

I know I shouldn't lie. I shouldn't fake meals and pretend I already ate. Or tell someone I'm totally okay and that they have nothing to worry about. I'm not dizzy all the time or having trouble breathing. My hair isn't extra dry and the meal I ate yesterday was SO good.

Food is the enemy. I don't even enjoy food much. But it haunts me every single hour of every day. I keep thinking about foods I want to eat. Fatty, greasy, unethical foods I'll regret eating. Foods that will make me fat.

I binged yesterday after a 72 hour fast. I was so close to sleeping. But I was having trouble breathing and he got scared and he threatened to call an ambulance if I didn't eat. I didn't want to eat. I was strong. But I fucked up and ate like the gluttonous pig that I was. And he called me, telling me I'm slowly killing myself and he doesn't want me to die and he doesn't want to lose me and I don't need to starve to lose weight, you're fine. You're not fat. I don't care what you weigh, I don't care.

But I do care. I care that my thighs touch and that my stomach isn't flat. That my arms aren't toned and I don't look tall and perfect and graceful.

I feel strong, powerful. Knowing I can control myself. Fasting makes me think I can do anything. I feel empty and pure. Why would I want to fuck that up by eating?

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[Goal] The more I shrink the more I grow
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 16 20:47:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jotl9/the_more_i_shrink_the_more_i_grow/
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http://m.imgur.com/PC5z3Hk

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[Rant/Rave] Re-realization rant
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Mon May 16 20:45:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jota6/rerealization_rant/
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On mobile, sorry! I've seen this mentioned here before, but it's sooo annoying that basically everything is centered around food. Like, socially. Hey wanna meet up? Lunch. It's your birthday? Let's go out to dinner! It's spring time, lets have a barbeque. It's so overwhelming. Ugh. I just want to be able to binge and purge in peace and non-judgement.

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[Thinspo] For the short girls with crooked legs [Thinspo][NSFW]
/u/alonelyturd [5'0 | 97.4 lbs ]
Created: Mon May 16 19:41:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jojm6/for_the_short_girls_with_crooked_legs_thinsponsfw/
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http://imgur.com/a/XKXWm

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[Discussion] Can someone explain this sub to me, please?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 16 19:14:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jofdk/can_someone_explain_this_sub_to_me_please/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] Detox tea + laxative for dinner tonight
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 16 18:27:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jo8de/detox_tea_laxative_for_dinner_tonight/
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YUM :'D

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[Other] MFW I am excited about getting married on Friday... then I remember that all eyes will be on me as I walk down the isle.
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 16 18:23:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jo7rw/mfw_i_am_excited_about_getting_married_on_friday/
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http://imgur.com/B63tdrv

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[Rant/Rave] "She would be the perfect girl if only she were a few inches taller"
/u/tobenothingatall [5'2 | 110 | 20.84 | -15 | f]
Created: Mon May 16 17:59:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jo3rm/she_would_be_the_perfect_girl_if_only_she_were_a/
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Back when I was in high school, during one of my thinner years, one of the boys I'd had a crush on said this about me. It's always stuck with me and right now in particular it's screaming in my head. Especially since I'm trying to find some short-legged thinspo, and I'm realizing that no matter much weight I lose I'll always be stuck with my short chubby legs and I'll probably never have a thigh gap.

If only I were a few inches taller, maybe then I could be perfect.

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[Help] Difficulty breathing/shortness of breath?
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 95 lb | 19.54 | -32 lb | FTM]
Created: Mon May 16 16:11:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jnmut/difficulty_breathingshortness_of_breath/
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Has anyone else here restricting calories experienced having difficulty breathing as a side effect of it? I ate a little kimchi and it temporarily made it better, but I don't know whether it was from the act of eating itself or from the strong smell/taste of the kimchi.

I'm kind of concerned because I have a flute concert and statewide exam coming up very soon, and it's not as if I have an excellent lung capacity to begin with...

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[Intro] All the introductions today have inspired me to finally start posting. So, hi, everyone!
/u/morningbirds [5'6" | 129 lb | 20.91 | F]
Created: Mon May 16 16:10:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jnmqs/all_the_introductions_today_have_inspired_me_to/
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**This ended up way too long, so here's an abstract: I've struggled with body image for forever, I developed an eating disorder late in high school, and it's just been an absolute fucking monster since then. I haven't been able to break my binge/restrict cycle for years. As an adult, I have been just about every weight but skinny. I'm determined to change that, but my life is hell because of this. Standard stuff.**

I suppose I should start with some background. I'm 21 years old, I'm a rising senior in college (5th year, because I didn't know what I was doing for a long ass time), and I've spent pretty much my whole life feeling like I needed to lose weight. As a kid, I was actually pretty skinny, and frequently got comments and compliments about my size, so it was easy to dismiss my own dissatisfaction. But then, puberty hit. Suddenly, I had these wide, exaggerated hips (though I remained tragically flat-chested for a while, making me look very unbalanced and awkward). The commentary on my body changed. "Curvy" replaced "skinny" as the primary descriptor. I became acutely aware of not only how my body looked and felt, but how it was perceived by others. Furthermore, I started birth control at 14, thanks to horrible period cramps that frequently caused me to miss school. The hormones... they fucked me up, though I didn't realize it until I switched to an IUD about a year ago. I became severely depressed, and was prescribed an SSRI to manage my symptoms. It worked, but I wasn't myself anymore. Sure, I was no longer suicidal, but the profound, unrelenting, debilitating sadness was replaced by a fog that enveloped my entire psyche. My emotions were dulled, my personality became withdrawn, and I pretty much just stopped caring. I had no real goals anymore beyond getting good grades; nothing really held my interest. Nothing was worth the effort. I slogged through each day barely aware that time was passing at all.

But none of that was as bad as the hunger. Since starting the antidepressant, my appetite never let up. I could eat to fullness and beyond, but satiety never came. Unsurprisingly, I gained a lot of weight over a very short period of time. By the time I was 16, I had crossed the threshold to overweight. When I made that realization, I hated myself more than I ever had before that moment. I willed myself to stop eating, stop stuffing my fat fucking face, stop being so greedy and so disgusting. I couldn't.

Then, when I was 17 and in my senior year of high school, something clicked. I downloaded a calorie counting app and set my goals so that I would lose 2 pounds/week--the maximum rate it would allow. I logged all my calories meticulously, started running, and promised myself that this time--*this time*--I wouldn't fuck it up. And I succeeded. I reached my initial goal weight by the time I graduated. This made many people in my life very unhappy, despite the fact that it was right in the middle of a healthy BMI: 130 pounds at 5'6", down from approximately 165. My parents claimed that they were worried, that I was becoming obsessive, and insisted that I talk about it with a therapist and see a nutritionist. I wanted to lose more weight, but knowing I would be leaving for college soon, I resolved to comply for the time being. I was told I had EDNOS, and that the only thing preventing an anorexia diagnosis was the fact that my weight was still healthy. I still think they were exaggerating, but whatever.

But now I had a new problem. Now that I had stopped my diet, there was nothing protecting me from getting fat again. I remember my first real binge. I was at a graduation party. I ate until my stomach hurt, and then I ate more. By the end of the night, I couldn't even fill my lungs completely, due to the sheer volume of food I had managed to stuff into my body. I had been on a high for months thanks to my success with managing my calories, and this was my comedown.

After that horrible episode, I began my struggle with binge eating. I started college with an unlimited meal plan, which was probably the worst thing that could have happened. I also stopped running. Naturally, I gained almost all the weight back by the end of my first semester. Upon making this discovery, I decided to throw caution to the wind and embrace the eating disorder everyone else was already convinced I had. Thus began my own personal binge/restrict cycle, along with upward-trending weight fluctuations which ultimately put me at an all-time high of 192 pounds by the end of 2014.

Getting so close to 200 pounds should have been the catalyst for my renewed vigor for restriction. And then, in the first week of 2015, I lost my dad. I won't go into that because it's still really damn painful to talk about. Besides, I honestly can't say much about the following months, because I don't remember much. Like, I was existing, but I wasn't really perceiving or experiencing anything. It was my worst semester by miles, and my GPA took a hard hit. However, when I started to come out of the worst of the grief, I realized I had lost about 15 pounds. I decided on a whim to look into different forms of birth control, stopped the pill, and got my IUD. I was also able to finally come off my antidepressants, which is what made me realize that the birth control was actually what had made me depressed in the first place. It was at this point, last summer, where I felt it click again. I threw myself headfirst into school and restriction, and got down to 140 by Christmas. I was still in a binge/restrict cycle, but I was able to keep the binges down to about once a week, and I also took up fasting to compensate better.

My boyfriend, at this point, was worried. We live together, so I knew I wouldn't be able to hide what I was doing from him forever (plus, I really don't like being dishonest with him, and he has been extraordinarily supportive and understanding). This has made the last several months difficult, though. I knew I would have to slow down my weight loss a good bit, but just like last time, this kind of threw a wrench in the whole process. My binges have gotten more frequent and more severe. I have been stuck in the 130s since January. The last time I checked was about a week and a half ago: 132. And then, during finals, I just... I fucking binged like crazy. For a whole fucking week. I haven't weighed myself since then, because I haven't had anywhere near enough time to make up for it (my last binge was on Friday). And since I can't stand to see the number go up, I don't want to weigh myself again until I *know* it will be lower. Thank God I find fasting so addictive (I have yet to find something more empowering or more invigorating), or else I don't know how I would do this anymore.

...Yep. That's me. I'm hoping posting here helps me feel less alone and less like a freak. I don't have anyone in real life who really understands. My boyfriend tries, but he doesn't get it (which is good, obviously, because he has a normal, healthy relationship with food), and besides, I don't feel right putting this all on him. I need support, without being pushed to recover. I can't. I've tried so many times, and I can't do it. So, here I am.

EDIT: Thanks for all the supportive responses!! I'm so glad I found this community. You are all amazing.

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[Goal] Super motivation! Tell me yours!
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Mon May 16 15:21:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jne7r/super_motivation_tell_me_yours/
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I'm working to hit the 130lbs and weighed in at 140.2 this morning after a month and a half of over eating and seeing 144 to 145 day after day after day...

Not any more! This week in particular I have super motivation to loose weight. My husband and I are having a family barbecue for graduation and birthdays and summer starting. Well, due to the nature of the celebration he asked if I was comfortable with his ex-wife/mother of his 4 kids coming. Obviously yeah, the kids love their mother no matter what kind of psycho bitch she is to us adults.

She's also significantly shorter, older, and heavier than I am. So bam. I'm going to loose 2+ lbs this week and be solid in the 130's by this party. No problem.

Why? Because she's a bitch who should be self-conscious around me. Yeah, I'm a bad person. So is she.

**What absolutely horrible motivation is pushing you to be better?**

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[Discussion] Bulimics - How many calories do you keep down on top of binging and purging?
/u/DietSodaAddict [5'6"|103|16.9|LW:94|Male]
Created: Mon May 16 15:08:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jnbsr/bulimics_how_many_calories_do_you_keep_down_on/
---
The question is fairly straight forward: how many calories do you not purge?
I have been eating about 400 on top of my binge purge sessions and losing. Hopefully, I will be able to increase it so I am not so bereft of energy, but this is where I am now.

How much do you eat on top of b/p currently?

---

[Tip] EC Stacks are amazing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 16 14:23:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jn3vh/ec_stacks_are_amazing/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Calorie counter that doesn't tell you how many calories you have left?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 16 13:41:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jmw4n/calorie_counter_that_doesnt_tell_you_how_many/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] A list of my "safe" restaurant and fast food options
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 119 | F]
Created: Mon May 16 13:23:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jmsrx/a_list_of_my_safe_restaurant_and_fast_food_options/
---
We all know that being asked to meet family/friends/a date for lunch or dinner is inevitable. As much as we may try to avoid it, there comes a time when we find ourselves staring at a menu.

I have been studying and saving my "safe" low calorie restaurant options since probably the eight grade (which was 10-11 years ago) and I can practically look at any menu and tell you how many calories are in a certain dish. If I don't know the number off the top of my head, I can usually guess. I try to order things that don't seem "diet-y," but if I do and anyone makes a comment, I say something like, "that's what sounds good to me right now" or "I had a snack about an hour ago so I'm not that hungry." It's none of their business anyway.

Here is my basic list of options:

**McDonalds**
Hamburger - 250 calories
4 piece chicken mcnugget - 190 calories
Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait - 150 calories
Hashbrowns - 150 calories
Small iced coffee with sugar free vanilla syrup - 80 calories
Small nonfat iced vanilla latte - 140 calories

**Panera**
Strawberry Poppyseed Salad with Chicken (half) - 170 calories
Vegetarian Black Bean Soup (cup) - 90 calories
Chicken Noodle Soup (cup) - 110 calories
Garden Vegetable Soup with Pesto (cup) - 80 calories

**Olive Garden**
Minestrone soup - 110 calories
...yep, that's the only thing I can order there.

**Aladdin's Eatery**
V-Nine soup - 63 calories
Lentil soup - 122 calories
Taza Chicken salad - 363 calories (higher in calories, but soo good)
Aladdin's salad with cheese - 146 calories
"Natural Energy" raw juice - 146 calories

**Starbucks**
Nonfat iced vanilla latte - 120 calories
Skinny iced latte - 70 calories
Skinny Vanilla latte - 100 calories
Nonfat Cappuccino - 60 calories
Chewy Chocolate cookie - 170 calories
Classic Oatmeal - 160 calories
Seasonal Fruit Blend - 90 calories

**Chick Fil A**
Grilled Nuggets (order of 8) - 140 calories
Fruit cup (large) - 80 calories
Chicken soup (medium) - 140 calories
Side salad (before dressing) - 80 calories

**Wendys**
Jr. Hamburger - 240 calories
Grilled Chicken Wrap - 280 calories
Chili (small) - 170 calories

**Dairy Queen**
Mini Banana Split Blizzard - 280 calories
Small Strawberry Sundae - 230 calories
Kids Vanilla Cone - 170 calories
Small Pina Colada Smoothie - 160 calories
Small Orange Smoothie - 140 calories
Grilled Chicken Wrap - 260 calories
Grilled Chicken Garden Greens salad - 160 calories

**Taco Bell**
Cheese Roll-Up - 180 calories
Cinnamon Twists - 170 calories
Fresco Soft Taco with Shredded Chicken - 140 calories
Shredded Chicken Mini Quesadilla - 180 calories

That's all that's coming to mind right now, but I will add to it if I remember anymore. Please feel free to share your favorite restaurant/fast food options, especially if I've left anything out!

---

[Other] Just an update after my horse show weekend.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Mon May 16 13:10:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jmqk5/just_an_update_after_my_horse_show_weekend/
---
So as some of you know I had a horse show this weekend. I also went out with friends on Wednesday and ate and drank. So Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday I ate...quite a bit. Not over my TDEE, but still, way more than I'm used to. I also got my period on Saturday so as of today I'm up 4 pounds :( I'm assuming most of this is water weight and I'm taking my period into consideration as well.

The show went really well. My horse was a good boy and we got some good ribbons. I had about 700 calories yesterday, which is 200 more than I my max. Today I'm fasting and I'll probably fast tomorrow as well. Hopefully that'll help flush some of the weight I gained since Wednesday. Basically I'm planning a 60 hour water and coffee fast. I've missed this sub! I know I've only been away for a few days but you guys are really special to me. Anyways, I'll be back here a lot since the semester has ended and I have 0 plans for the summer :P

My plan for the summer is as follows: Fast every Monday, 300 limit on inactive days and 500 limit on active days (which is 5 days a week). I'm really hoping to get down to my goal weight of 85 by the time school starts in August :3

I honestly feel really miserable and disgusted with myself. On Thursday or Friday I had posted how I didn't feel guilty after eating with some barn friends, because I know I need to fuel myself to ride. But now I feel awful. I almost regret doing the show. Gah.

Hope you all had a lovely weekend <3

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else just kinda...switch their starvation on because of life events?
/u/Polegoalz [5'9" | 134 | 19.43 | 53 | F]
Created: Mon May 16 12:47:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jmmcv/does_anyone_else_just_kindaswitch_their/
---
I mean obviously yes, I just want to hear your reasonings.


Mine is dumb as fuck. I have a crush on my (married) maxillofacial surgeon, right? Hes just so sweet and gentle. He's not even that attractive tbh...he's just a really kind person and has started calling me from his private cell phone to ask how I'm doing after procedures (like getting my braces on, my spacers, my wisdom extraction, ect). I know he's just being professional and friendly, I'll never act on it EVER because ethic codes and marriage on his end...but ever since I've started seeing him at his office, I've been way more disciplined than I have been recently.



Also, my custody battle over my kiddo. I want my ex to see me happier and thinner than I've been since the birth of our son when I go to court. obviously my weight isn't an important factor, I have a lawyer, he has an abusive domestic violence criminal record (with me, not my son thankfully), so things are in our favor. I just want him to see me doing "better".



I'm vindictive with my weight loss. in times of stress, I want to eat. when I'm feeling okay, or empowered, I don't want to eat. it's very strange and seems to be backwards from most. :l

---

[Discussion] What would you think of a thread where other people could guess your weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 16 12:40:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jml0l/what_would_you_think_of_a_thread_where_other/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Where does everyone shop?
/u/Ohfuckme09 [5' 3" | 120 | 21.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Mon May 16 12:19:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jmhab/where_does_everyone_shop/
---
I'm hardcore in need of a new wardrobe thanks to nearly everything I own being too big now. I wear mostly dresses and border between extra small and small in some stores and just noticed I'm able to fit into some XXL's in kids sizes as well.

I REALLY don't have the money to spend on a new wardrobe right now so frugal/cheap options would be wonderful!

---

[Rant/Rave] Feeling okay with a binge
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 16 12:06:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jmf7a/feeling_okay_with_a_binge/
---
After restricting and exercising, I fasted for some lab work. It wasn't a lot of blood, like 4 or 5 viles but I felt a little sick from it. Saw a doctor who told me all my levels are perfectly fine, yay balanced nutrients. My SO bought me a big burger, fries, and a coke, so I totally binged. I'm kinda okay though; I'll probably exercise a lot later. It felt nice to get some food into me after all the low/no/negative kcal and having some blood taken out. Actually really nice. Oh and the doctor's scale said I had lost a few more pounds than my scale. I trust the doctor's scale over my really shitty hiden scale.

---

[Rant/Rave] My doctor prescribed me caffeine...
/u/MymlanOhlin
Created: Mon May 16 11:59:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jmdwe/my_doctor_prescribed_me_caffeine/
---
Now if only ephedrine was legal here... :(

---

[Discussion] What are your long term, non-weight/number related goals?
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 124.4lbs | 19.42 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Mon May 16 11:31:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jm94h/what_are_your_long_term_nonweightnumber_related/
---
The short term thread got me to thinking. What are some of our long-term goals? People here have all sorts of wonderful hobbies, but it could also be "to not break the snow's crust when I walk on top" or "to feel giddy and not guilty when I am lifted up by my partner" or "to be lifted by my partner." Nothing is stupid! It could be ED-related or not, but I'm hoping we'll get away from the GW/calorie/measurement conversation for this thread.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so fucking annoyed-redux
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 16 10:45:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jm1iy/im_so_fucking_annoyedredux/
---
Today was the day I was going to crush it. Today was the day I was going to get back on track, eat clean, eat restrictive, and re-balance this endless binge I've been on.

hmph. Not even noon and I'm off to a bad start. I had to attend a mandatory meeting for some shit I don't care about. Realizing this was a bullshit meeting, HR placated the office by offering donuts.

I ate two. fucking. donuts. And just like that, I blew through my lunch and snack allotment for the day.

The only cals I have left are for dinner, which is *hooourrrsss* away.

I'll still stay within my cal limit (by god, I will do it), but I'm so fucking annoyed that I couldn't resist the donuts, and now I'm fucked until 7pm. I'm going to be so hungry by 2pm-3pm, and I'm surrounded by binge-able food. I can only chew so much sugar free gum and I can only drink so much water before the illusion of satiating my hunger falls apart. Additionally, by the time dinner rolls around I'll be so hungry that I'll be in prime position for a dinner binge.

FUCK.ME.

The only thing keeping 'it' together is 1.) my resolve and 2.) going to forever21 on my lunch break and using my $20 off coupon on a bunch of extra small clothing.

This morning I put on my extra small work out leggings and I had a small muffin top. OH HELL NO, this will not stand.

I need to get this shit right. I have to go to a stupid fucking BBQ on Saturday for some lady I don't know, because apparently shes dying and I promised my mom we'd go so dying-lady could see my son before she kicks it. I feel like such a cunt but really, I have no idea who this lady is, or why she wants to see my son. Like, I think I met her once before(??,) but apparently shes become a good friend of my mom in the 13 years since I've moved away from home.

So, ok, gotta keep my promise and go to a god damn BBQ with uncontrollable/unaccounted calories. UGH. Just another set back making the pressure for my 6/18 deadline all the more crushing.

Maybe I should push back my goal to perhaps my birthday (8/17)? that would give me wiggle room for my aunt's July 4th/50th birthday bash binge-fest-o-rama.

fuuuuuccckk. Why do we have to celebrate, socialize, lure, and placate with food?

---

[Other] When you're depressed AF and crumbling on the inside but you try to look normal work
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon May 16 10:17:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jlwrk/when_youre_depressed_af_and_crumbling_on_the/
---
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/03/11/article-2291620-189071B4000005DC-520_306x390.jpg

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 16 10:03:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jlubs/daily_food_diary_may_16_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 16, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] The Mental Process During a Purge
/u/InItTLoseIt [5' 7" | 172.9 lbs | 26.99 | 47.9 lbs | Femme nb]
Created: Mon May 16 09:58:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jlth6/the_mental_process_during_a_purge/
---
Last night I binged, and immediately after I had a panic attack and had this visceral need to undo what I did to myself. I'd never purged before, so it was kind of a traumatic experience. This is basically what was going through my head during the hour and a half after I went to the bathroom. Major trigger warning for those of you who are trying to not purge.

------

I need to get this food out of me

Why did I let myself eat so much

It wasn't even good

I wasn't even hungry, I was depressed and anxious for no reason

My stomach hurts and it hurts to just exist

Why can't I throw up

I thought baking soda and water was supposed to make this easier but it just makes my stomach hurt more

I deserve this pain for not staying in control

My fingers are too short to make me gag

What does google have to offer on inducing vomiting

Okay I have a spare toothbrush

Why isn't this working

Why am I such a fuck up I cant even throw up right

It's been an hour and I still can't vomit but I feel horrible from the stress and the brush bristles scratched my throat

I'm shaking

I can't get any food out but I keep gagging and spitting

I'm going to bed

I feel awful and sick

It sort of worked

But I still can't throw up

I'm just spitting into the toilet and retching

Remember this next time you want to binge

Remember this pain

My stomach is grumbling now

My mouth has that warm spit I always get before I puke

Throwing up food is a way different experience than throwing up alcohol

Thank god I took off my glasses

I need to wash my face

Don't brush your teeth yet

At least this whole experience will put me off of delivery for a while

I'm still shaking

I'm so tired

I can't stop crying

Why did I want this

Why did I do this to myself

I need to lie down

I'm so tired and cold

I don't want to do this again

I want to do this again

I can't eat tomorrow

---

[Rant/Rave] I have a date...and I don't want to mess it up
/u/silverturtle [5'2" | 114 | 21.6 | -16 | F]
Created: Mon May 16 09:04:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jlkds/i_have_a_dateand_i_dont_want_to_mess_it_up/
---
So obviously due to how fucked up my eating is, especially around other people and at restaurants, I usually limit activities that take me out of the house with other people. BUT, I have a date this week, the first date I've had in years (I'm definitely rather skittish when it comes to guys and commitment which makes me avoid dating altogether) and I'm really nervous because just from texting this guy, I really like him and he's tall (6'4") and attractive and sweet and everything I could want. Now I feel like I have to decrease my intake even more so that when we finally meet, he thinks I really am as attractive as I am in my pictures and I hate feeling this way. I just want everything to be perfect :(

---

[Intro] Hello!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 16 08:55:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jliwr/hello/
---
[deleted]

---

[Intro] Finally, my introduction!
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 119 | F]
Created: Mon May 16 08:51:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jlidg/finally_my_introduction/
---
I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE

Hi everyone! Oh my god, my heart is beating so fast right now haha. I am so so excited to finally have built up the courage to make an alternative account and introduce myself. After many months of lurking, I just want to say that I am rooting for *so* many of you!

A little bit about me: I have suffered from disordered eating for as long as I can remember. I distinctly remember being around the age of 11 or 12, and hearing someone on TV say something along the lines of, "some girls begin dieting as young as 10" and my immediate thought was, "I started *way* before I was 10." Which is ridiculous, especially seeing as I was a perfectly normal weight.

I restricted (successfully and unsuccessfully) for years, and I seemed pretty happy with myself around 110 pounds, where my weight stayed from age 18 to maybe 21? Then, for reasons I'm not completely ready to discuss, I stopped restricting and started binging. The highest weight I ever recorded myself at was 135 (age 22), but I suspect I could have been even heavier for a short time. Over the past year I've been really working on losing weight, but it wasn't until about six months ago that I started restricting again and really losing weight. I am SO happy to be back.

I will be 24 soon, and I am determined to get back to my high school/college weight or lower this year. I've been doing decently well, but I had a horrible binge weekend and realized that I need support. My diet isn't something I discuss with any of my friends, and I try not to discuss it with my boyfriend (who is insanely supportive and wonderful) as to not worry him. So, I find myself here.

For better or for worse, I am so excited to become part of this community.

Thanks for listening! Please feel free to comment/message/talk to me. My job is boring and I'm really looking forward to meeting everyone :)

---

[Discussion] DAE have a really hard time staying awake after a binge?
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Mon May 16 08:18:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jlcye/dae_have_a_really_hard_time_staying_awake_after_a/
---
This happens to me almost every time. I'll eat and eat and eat until I am physically in pain and feel sick, and then I simply can't stay awake. No matter how I try I end up falling asleep and napping for 2-4 hours. On bad days, I'll wake up and eat more then fall back asleep. Does this happen to anyone else?

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[Rant/Rave] Chocolate covered coffee beans are the love of my life.
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 16 07:42:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jl7gq/chocolate_covered_coffee_beans_are_the_love_of_my/
---
They are soooooooo filling. Holy crap guys no joke. I eat like a handful and they fill me up.

1/4 cup has 140 calories if I remember correctly. I'll check as soon as I can.

But 140 calories to satisfy a sweet craving/incoming binge is worth it.

EDIT: the box i have says 1/2 cup (50 g) is 260!

---

[Help] I need to get back on my feet.
/u/Dohlea [5'5" | 130lb | 110lb | Back at it again]
Created: Mon May 16 06:19:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jkvv3/i_need_to_get_back_on_my_feet/
---
So the fact of the matter is I need to find my motivation to work out again every day. I do Kayla Istness BBG guide and in the past , it has worked FANTASTIC. I work as a host though and thats 5am to 3pm everyday.. + fasting for 4 days straight, I feel like I wouldn't have the energy.
I've given myself permission to say while at the gym "take your time, Just complete." It might take me longer, its just the fact I did it.
What do you guys do? Any suggestions? HALP!

Also!! down 2 LB from yesterday!!! wasn't expecting that! nice surprise for this morning!

---

[Rant/Rave] Incoherent train or thoughts
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 95 lbs | 16.80 | -60 lbs]
Created: Mon May 16 06:04:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jku1s/incoherent_train_or_thoughts/
---
Currently laying in bed, so tired with no energy, my legs are numb and hurt weirdly, I'm freezing, can't concentrate, my skin and hair are so dry they feel like plastic, hands and legs are purple, cold too, etc etc, just so weak, my period hasn't shown up in over 60 days, neither any natural bm since February, it feels like my body is shutting down, I even ate normally the past days, just couldn't take any vitamins and minerals, I probably should keep eating normally til I'm better, but that disgusts me if I get up I'd semi faint tho too, I wanna stay here til I can't get up at all anymore, beh, fuck life, fuck eating, not even that skinny

Edit: Oh and I bruise like a mofo, think I'm developing some extra hair growth and will have to go and donate blood -> faint -> eat snacks, the only fucking thing my body does seem to have energy for tho is making my feet grow, not only are my clothes too big so I need a new wardrobe, no I fucking need to restart a solid shoe collection for every occasion and I like me some expensive shoes.

Yuk

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! May 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 16 06:03:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jktvn/weekly_stats_update_may_16_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for May 16, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] Do any of you allow yourself cheat days?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Mon May 16 05:32:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jkq99/do_any_of_you_allow_yourself_cheat_days/
---
I don't, but I'm thinking about it. I just feel like I won't be able to stick to 300 cals on non-fast days and fasting for 72 hours every three days if I don't satisfy my cravings. But I'm so scared of fucking up all my progress.

Sorry for having no flair, on mobile :(

---

[Intro] *drumroll* introduction time!
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 65kg (143lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Mon May 16 05:21:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jkp1d/drumroll_introduction_time/
---
Hey there, ladies 'n gents! I'm SatanAMA, and it's nice to actually be talking on this sub. This is my non-lurker account, cus it's actually anonymous lol. As such, I don't want to reveal too much information about me, but here goes.. The reason I'm here is because I started losing weight 18 months ago, and now I can't stop.

I started my ED habits, not to give myself an ED but certainly *knowing* that's what I was doing. I just didn't realise the severity until it was too late. I lost a lot of weight, but it's at a big expense. I'm obsessed with calorie counting, ignoring all nutrition just so I won't get fat. I've literally said "I'd rather get cancer [from Diet Coke], than get fat". I restrict every damn day, or I eat chocolate until I puke. I've worried my boyfriend and my parents with my poor eating habits.

I hope I don't sound like I treat EDs like a diet. I think I tried to, and I realise now how terrible that was. I only wish I never had. Anyway. Hi. It's good to talk :3

---

[Discussion] detox tea
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 16 02:44:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jk9ii/detox_tea/
---
anyone here use it? how often is too often to be using it?

---

[Discussion] What are your short-term (SV or NSV) goals?
/u/mailmesnails [160cm | 50.6kg | 19.8 | -2.4kg | F]
Created: Mon May 16 01:59:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jk5gv/what_are_your_shortterm_sv_or_nsv_goals/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jk5gv/what_are_your_shortterm_sv_or_nsv_goals/

---

[Help] What do you do to reduce bloating from a binge quickly? And how long does your bloat last?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 | 27/F | SW: >230lbs - CW: 95lbs - GW: 90lbs OR 95lbs+muscle]
Created: Mon May 16 01:37:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jk3ld/what_do_you_do_to_reduce_bloating_from_a_binge/
---
Binged yesterday. I am EXTRA super bloated today from it... I don't even know why, I didn't have as much volume of food as I usually do. Must have been to do with what I actually ate. On the plus side, at least it's actually lessening the usual post-binge panic because with it being so extreme, I know for sure it's bloat rather than all fat gain. I ate a LOT of calories (4000-5000 at least) but not enough to gain all this mass in fat. I look pregnant! A good few months pregnant too!

But it's still fucking gross, and it's still here this morning after sleeping. I've never known how to speed up the process of getting rid of bloat, and my bloating seems to hang around for days.. does anyone elses hang around for days after a binge?

Any ideas guys? :( For clarification - I'm sure I have water weight too, but I usually handle that with cranberry juice and asparagus. It's the firm-type bloating (gas? poop? food baby?) that I'm wondering about!

(Not looking for suggestions of how to stop binging or cutting out foods from my binge to *prevent* bloating, if you don't mind, rather ideas to reduce bloating quicker after the event. I either have a 'planned' binge on whatever I like once a week on Sunday with no foods excluded for any reason, or it would uncontrollably happen every day on anything and everything.. this is the lesser of two evils ahaha.)

---

[Discussion] What are your favorite applications and/or tools?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 15 23:01:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jjp7z/what_are_your_favorite_applications_andor_tools/
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[deleted]

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[Help] I injured my rib. Now I'm panicking about going to Dr.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 15 21:39:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jjgiv/i_injured_my_rib_now_im_panicking_about_going_to/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Just purged for the first time... Hopefully the last
/u/bubblenib
Created: Sun May 15 21:37:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jjgbb/just_purged_for_the_first_time_hopefully_the_last/
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Told myself I was going to fast today, made myself some tea and told myself that if I just waited until 7 I could eat having done a 24 hour fast. Made it to 3pm and ate ravioli and spaghettios. I don't even like those so I wasn't very satisfied. So that was 900 calories by 4pm. Thought I was going to go run so it wouldn't be that bad; then a storm rolled in. Then finally my dad wanted me to try this stuff from a Mexican restaurant for dinner (carne asada fries). Got home, looked it up, 2000 CALORIES. In one day total I'd still flip but one meal?!? No way. Couldn't handle knowing that was in my stomach so I purged. The relief is nice but I don't want to do this often. Back on the wagon tomorrow I guess.

Sorry I've never posted; I'm a major lurker here.... You guys are super supportive though, I love reading all your guys' posts <3

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[Rant/Rave] My best friend keeps giving me shit about my eating and I don't know how to respond
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun May 15 21:37:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jjgai/my_best_friend_keeps_giving_me_shit_about_my/
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It's not because she cares about me, it's because of her own issues with eating. Which is like, fine. I know how much it hurt her that her parents didn't take her eating disorder seriously, so most of the time I try to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's trying to give me the treatment that she wanted from them. And ok, I guess it's legit if she feels compelled to leave the room when I weigh my food because it's triggering for her (I didn't know it would be triggering? Lots of people who don't have EDs weigh their food?).

But does she need to be such a fucking bitch about it? She acts like she's legitimately angry at me. She mentions my eating stuff all the time in an accusatory "you're such an idiot" kind of a way, and to give you an idea of her tone, she once told me I looked like a cancer patient. I should mention that I've *never brought up my eating issues with her*, and when she brings it up I deny, deny, deny. I've avoided our shared apartment for literally over a year now because every time I see her, she insults me. Yet she gets all hurt and rejected when I turn down her invitations and doesn't understand why. I have to explicitly tell her to be nice to me. And now I want to move back into the apartment but I know she's going to be at my throat if she sees me weighing my food all the time, and I can't eat without doing that. I don't even know how to talk to her anymore. Should I tell her to stop? Make a joke out of it? Ugh.

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[Rant/Rave] So mad, so very mad.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 15 21:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jjc32/so_mad_so_very_mad/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Oh My Venus: Anymore shows not directly ed related but weight related?
/u/Pipoen [5'9"| 139.3 | 20.6 | =^u^=]
Created: Sun May 15 20:19:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jj6ro/oh_my_venus_anymore_shows_not_directly_ed_related/
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I am watching a K-Drama called [Oh My Venus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oh_My_Venus) of a Lawyer who isn't living up to her former glory as the most beautiful girl worshiped for her looks and thin waist. She was once ulzzang and has gained a lot of weight since.

So she is embarking on a sweet quest to reach beauty to match her brain!

ED documentaries or shows are waaaaaay to intense for me. Shows from the UK like Supersize vs superskinny or secret eaters have their place in my heart, but I want more light-hearted things like this. The way people are treating the main character is less harsh but more realistic in my experience.

Does anyone else know of any other shows like this?

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[Help] My parents' scale says I weigh nine more pounds than mine. I'm freaking out.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 124 | 18/18.3 | -22 | F]
Created: Sun May 15 19:42:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jj21j/my_parents_scale_says_i_weigh_nine_more_pounds/
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I need to get a new scale. I can't trust mine. It says I weigh 3 lbs less than my doctor's scale, and now this madness with my parents'. I just wanted to rant about this because I am freaking out and I don't know how much I weigh and I'm paranoid that it's a lot more than I thought. Which scale should I trust???

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[Rant/Rave] Shin Splints pt. 2
/u/lowgravities
Created: Sun May 15 19:37:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jj1gh/shin_splints_pt_2/
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Two weeks in and they're just as bad as ever; I've had to do a lot of physical work for my job this month and that's not helping.

I. Want. To. Run. Again.

[screaming]

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[Goal] Took advantage of some good lighting to take selfies I'm somewhat proud of
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun May 15 19:25:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jizvy/took_advantage_of_some_good_lighting_to_take/
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https://imgur.com/a/2Zqke

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[Help] i kinda want to die
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sun May 15 18:26:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jis2z/i_kinda_want_to_die/
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im very drunk. i dont want to kill myself. i dont have the self control to even kill myself slowly by restricting. im too much of a fatass. but sometimes, when i drive, i imagine letting the car go at 78 mph into the steep ditch. how the metal would crunch. how i would crumple. and it all seems so easy.

then i think of my boyfriend, over there in germany. 4000 miles away. The poor boy is so sweet. he didnt ask for this. i wasnt so fucking messed up a year ago. but he's been 'lucky' enough to experience this with me. i want to be normal for him. but at the same time, i want to be skinny for him, i want to not exist for him, so he can go live with some normal chick an dhave a happy family.

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[Intro] I should of done my intro first!
/u/Dohlea [5'5" | 130lb | 110lb | Back at it again]
Created: Sun May 15 18:16:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jiqq2/i_should_of_done_my_intro_first/
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Hey babes, I posted on here before with some questions but I really should of introduced myself first. I realized I had an ED earlier this year.. I went into treatment .. realized I wasn't ready, copped an excuse for myself and got out. I had an ED for a while, Purge type. Purge type as in laxatives and Stimulants. Smallest Ive gotten was 110lb. I'm back at it again after a break up.. Im now on toparimate and adderall its been .. what, 4 days and I'm down 7lb. my goal is 110lb.
So far I've fasted 2 days.. I think I can't remember. But if i have an urge.. I just need to post here or distract myself.. Im doing good at this.. and I just would not like to screw it up. Plus if any of you have questions, feel free to reach out.
thank you all!

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[Help] Help me get out of bed and start running
/u/russianfrank
Created: Sun May 15 18:00:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jion2/help_me_get_out_of_bed_and_start_running/
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I am an extremely lazy person, all I ever do is sit home and play video games while smoking weed. I've been telling myself for weeks that 'today is when I get off my ass and go for a run' but it never happens. It's winter and it's cold and raining, but I have a bunch of fat on my thighs and stomach that I would love to lose by starting to run.

Where do I even start? How does someone who hasn't ran in years start again? How do I not lose my motivation every day? HOW DO YOU DO IT?

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[Help] Side effects with ECA stack
/u/princessxpixie [5"4.5 | 104lbs | 17.5 | -29lbs | Female]
Created: Sun May 15 16:00:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ji7lg/side_effects_with_eca_stack/
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So last week i started taking ECA stack. My boyfriend bought the ephedrine caffeine and aspirin all seperately and I was taking 12mg ephedrine hci, 100mg caffeine and an aspirin once or twice a day. After like the first two days my stomach got super bloated due to water retention im guessing but i actually looked 5 months pregnant and my stomach felt really heavy. Then it started being excrutiatingly painful to wee and when i had sex with my bf had the worst stomach cramps i actually cried for about 10 minutes unable to move. I've stopped taking them now and I feel fine again but cant see anybody else having the same problem or having any of the side effects ive had so wanted to know if anyone has experienced these or any others and if theres a way to take them without all these awful side effects.

Sorry for the long post.

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[Discussion] Has anyone tried the ABC diet? How was it?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 15 15:58:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ji7fm/has_anyone_tried_the_abc_diet_how_was_it/
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Title is pretty self explanatory. I want to try it... I know it's not really different than regular restriction, but having a structure like that sems kinda nice.

Anyways... if anyone here has completed it how was it? How much weight did you lose? How did you feel after?

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[Goal] finding my abs
/u/thingspeople
Created: Sun May 15 15:49:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ji5zp/finding_my_abs/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/e26d1f8969214d169b8e0a69dff2e8e0?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=787745090f8a57a9a0a0b657f68c9bf6

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[Rant/Rave] I hate my brain so much rn
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 | -12.4 | 20 y/o F]
Created: Sun May 15 13:43:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jhmgv/i_hate_my_brain_so_much_rn/
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Today was so shite, so 100% shite!

I restricted and fasted quite heavily last week, after a huge binge last sunday, and it went really well! I hit my first goal weight of 48kg (scale said 47.9 kg) on saturday, and I was really excieted!

This morning though I felt almost sick, really tired, headache, weak, just raising a glass was too much effort. Scale said 47.4 kg, even if I had dinner+dessert+wine the night before for around 1500 cal, so I was still quite excited about that

Anyhow, I ate an apple to not collapse and went home (stayed at my SOs place) and whilst in the tube.. I made the most stupid decision I could think of. I thought, well, I did so well this week, I finally broke my plateau, I was one week binge free, why not just.. throw everything over board and eat what the hell we want today, eh?

So yea, fuck you brain! I ate so much, and then we had dinner, and I ate so much, I was in physical pain. I went to bed, trying to get a grip and slightly fell asleep, but when I woke up, I felt so sick and I threw up, I literally threw up because I ate too much food

I never purge, but I had the urge to just go on after that, as it was not nearly everything. But I didn't I had decided not to eat after dinner and make a 24 h fast, until I have a family gathering tomorrow, which would've had been my 'binge' this week. But no, I ruined it

So, I feel horrible, and of course, I did not stop eating, and I feel sick and almost hope I throw up again, just to get rid of that feeling in my stomach

I was doing so well, asnd now this shite.. also I cant fast on tuesday as I am going to another city with uni friends, and can only slightly restricts so they wont notice

But I will fast on wednesday and half of thursday, and then hopefully restrict again, and have for once morethan 7 binge free days!

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[Goal] Nothing but air when I walk/run.
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -38 | F]
Created: Sun May 15 13:32:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jhklm/nothing_but_air_when_i_walkrun/
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I never had a thigh gap. Ever. I still don't, but I'm so damn close. I have that keyhole gap when it's just a bit of my inner thigh that needs to be gone.

But of course people don't walk/run with their feet together. I was running yesterday and noticed my thighs weren't touching. I tried to walk while bending over a bit to watch this in action and I know I looked absolutely bizarre. But I was amazed. I had always wondered what it felt like to have a gap when you walk....and it feels like nothing. I suppose that's why I didn't noticed.

Just wanted to share my excitement. I still have 15+ pounds to lose and I think a thigh gap is a real thing for me now. It's so interesting to see these changes. I know my body doesn't look the same as it did 40 pounds ago, but most days my ED thoughts tell me I'm no different. But I saw a change and that makes me so happy.

I hope everyone has a wonderful end/start to the week.

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[Discussion] What are your fear foods?
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 15 12:51:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jhe62/what_are_your_fear_foods/
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I know pizza is a really common food to fear. I was just wondering what other foods are the complete opposite of your safe foods, things that you are really afraid will lead to a binge or just has way too many kcals, what gives you anxiety being around.

I'm saying this because my SO made oatmeal monster cookies that taste pretty heavily of peanut butter. Peanut Butter in general kinda gives me anxiety. I love it and it is soo many kcal. Pasta is another one. I know I eat way over a serving of pasta when given the chance. Probably weird to see me have a minor panic attack before stuffing my moo cow face with fetticini alfredo.

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[Goal] NSV: can't catch popcorn between my thighs anymore
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 15 11:56:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jh5sn/nsv_cant_catch_popcorn_between_my_thighs_anymore/
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I was eating popcorn. I dropped a piece and automatically clapped my thighs together to catch it on my legs. My knees went "thunk" and the popcorn plummeted right between my still-separated thighs to the floor.

I have never been so happy to throw away a piece of popcorn.

Never cared about thigh gaps before but now that I'm starting to have one I am so fucking proud of this shit!

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[Goal] [Update] I made a little cozy for my new mug :D
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun May 15 11:14:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jgzrz/update_i_made_a_little_cozy_for_my_new_mug_d/
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https://imgur.com/sjyUrYf

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun May 15 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jgouh/daily_food_diary_may_15_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for May 15, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Help] I have the opportunity to fast for 8 days.
/u/dsprngact [4'10 | 119 | 26.6|-34| female]
Created: Sun May 15 09:09:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jggp9/i_have_the_opportunity_to_fast_for_8_days/
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The longest I've done it recently is 4. I'm really hoping I can make it the whole time...especially since I work in a restaurant. Im going to allow myself liquids like coke zero and black coffee....but only if I drink a liter of water first. After day 5 if I feel terrible I might do a vega shake (120 cals) but we'll see. I start tomorrow and I'll update around later! Wish me luck!

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[Rant/Rave] I went clothes shopping the other day.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 15 08:25:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jgakq/i_went_clothes_shopping_the_other_day/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Thoughts while travelling
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun May 15 08:19:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jg9pi/thoughts_while_travelling/
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I am currently at the airport. Spending a good hour or two in the terminal waiting for my flight to board.

I got in super early, brought a quest bar and planned on getting tea once I was in. The whole wait in line at Starbucks, I was staring down the pastries. Trying to rationalize picking something huge and throwing half away, or getting a small biscotti and not eating the quest bar. Eventually, my turn to order, I panic since i hadn't finished picking and just ordered tea. Thank. God.

The whole time I was sitting in the food court, sipping my 0 calorie tea and nibbling on my high protein 220 cal quest bar, I was more and more glad I didn't get any pastries. It's 9am and I've seen three different people eating double decker burgers with tater tots. Little kids eating sugary muffins bigger than their heads. Coke with breakfast. Mochas with tonnes of whipped cream and syrup on top. It sufficiently disgusted me.

I can only imagine how much worse I'd feel eating a nutrition less, doughy pastry while watching all this instead. Now, let's hope my seat neighbor on the flight eats grossly enough to keepme from eating any complimentary snacks.

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[Discussion] What do you eat at Indian restaurants?
/u/Jitterly [163.5 cm | 48kg | 17.96 | F]
Created: Sun May 15 07:21:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jg2e6/what_do_you_eat_at_indian_restaurants/
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I am going with my s/o and his family. I absolutely adore Indian food, and I kind of want to treat myself, but more than that, I dont want to hinder my progress. What could I eat there, eat a reasonable amount of, and stay under 1000 calories for the day? If I bumped that up to 1200 calories what are my options? Im not eating anything else today.
I always try researching this shit but i never find anything useful...

Thanks guys! Sorry for bad grammar and no flair, Im on mobile and I suck at typing on my new phone.

Edit: Im a vegetarian btw, so no meat dishes for me

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[Rant/Rave] Told my mom I've had an ED for 12 years. Her thoughtfulness (or lack thereof)
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Sun May 15 07:16:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jg1ue/told_my_mom_ive_had_an_ed_for_12_years_her/
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My mom doesn't react to shit. Ever. Same thing happened here. We had plans to go to my aunt/uncle's later yesterday and they always have so much garbage to eat and I always binge. For the most part, I shared not because it was a cry for help, but I wanted someone to think I was really struggling (although I am) so someone could hold me accountable and not let me gorge myself. I did tell her it would lead me to restrict for days.

Well, she said my aunt asked that she bring a dessert. Then she asked if I would prefer she bring a dessert that I would not be interested in. I suggested she bring key lime pie, and she said oh that actually sounds good, I'll do that. Well I got to my aunt's house before she did, and I was doing so well. Then she showed up with the key lime pie but also a box of cookies. That I proceeded to binge on the cookies. Was so pissed. After the 6th, she asked me if she wanted me to hide them. And then she didn't until like the 8th. What the actual fuck?

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[Rant/Rave] Why do I look so big compaired to other people my height?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 15 06:52:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jfyrj/why_do_i_look_so_big_compaired_to_other_people_my/
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I'm on mobile almost all times I used reddit, and I just learned I can view the sidebar of a subreddit!

So I was browsing progress pics, went to their sidebar and noticed they organize by height! So I started looking through other 6 foot tall women... and discovered i weight less than all of them... By about 20-50 pounds. And yet I still look fatter than 70% of the women on there?

Am I just unlucky? Like wtf... I'm so angry and sad... fuck this body ugh

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[Goal] Okay, today I'm gonna do it
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun May 15 05:55:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jfsnz/okay_today_im_gonna_do_it/
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I'm gonna fast on just water. I've never done this before and I'm sort of excited.

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[Rant/Rave] For once my emotional angst is actually killing my appetite...Silver Linings!
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 112.8lbs | 16.9 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 15 05:20:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jfp7b/for_once_my_emotional_angst_is_actually_killing/
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Thank you, old flame, for randomly crashing back into my life and making me question everything about my current relationship. I feel sick to my stomach and have eaten 1 chicken salad wrap (~400kcal??) in the last 72 hours. I can't sleep, I feel nauseated all the time and I'm smoking more than my great aunt Mary.

At least there's not a doubt in my mind that when I weigh myself I'll have lost.

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[Other] Went to MPA and saw this ad
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11½ | 138.2 | 18.93 | F]
Created: Sun May 15 02:44:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jfbtc/went_to_mpa_and_saw_this_ad/
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http://imgur.com/u7b3Ge5

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[Help] Why are the last 10 pounds always the hardest?
/u/abond4 [5'7.5 | 132.6 | 20.3 | -47.4 | F]
Created: Sun May 15 02:40:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jfbjk/why_are_the_last_10_pounds_always_the_hardest/
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I've actually got about 15 pounds left to go but the point still stands. I've made SO much progress as you can see from my flair but I can't stay motivated! I've only lost 11 pounds since the beginning of February, and to put it in perspective I lost 16 pounds in 6 weeks before that. My weight loss has tapered off so much because I go back and forth between eating "normally" and starvation. So I'll go for days just maintaining and then have a "starvation spurt" and lose a pound or two here and there. Now I just want to say fuck it; my BMI is acceptable so who cares?

How do I stay on the path? Thinspo isn't helpful to me; in fact it only makes me want to quit more because I feel like I'll never be like those girls (I still have big boobs back from when I was fat; my body is ridiculously lopsided now that I've lost weight).

So what else can I do to motivate myself? Any tips?

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[Rant/Rave] Got Safe Foods!
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 15 01:56:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jf7uw/got_safe_foods/
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I finally got a whole grocery list of safe foods, for at least a few weeks worth of eating. It has actually made my stress go down quite a bit. I know that I'll be eating instead of fasting but my SO won't really let me fast and agreed to let me get the list of crazy, obvious you have an eating disorder foods. My binge food in the whole thing is yogurt, of which I cannot even come close to eating a whole serving. Between that and actually getting some exercise in, I feel pretty okay about not getting to fast, I mean more okay than normal.

Kinda funny though how you can probably tell I have an eating disorder just by looking at my basket at the store. 0 kcal flavored water, veggies, puffed grain snacks... Nothing near 100 kcal per serving except yogurt, which again, the way I eat it is only a bit over 100 kcal.

Yay safe foods!

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[Discussion] EC stack users, do you crave sugar?
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Sun May 15 01:02:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jf38i/ec_stack_users_do_you_crave_sugar/
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The primatene and caffeine I am taking definitely helps stop hunger and energizes me but it has almost been a hindrance when I finally do eat because all I want is sugar.. And then I end up eating a shit ton of calories and craving more sugar. And then a cycle begins.

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[Discussion] Do you do anything "weird" unrelated to the consumption/burn of calories?
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 14 22:12:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jem7u/do_you_do_anything_weird_unrelated_to_the/
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I realized I have a very structured showers, and if the scale hasn't budged much that morning I have a set of things that I do. Scrub like mad, very careful shave, comb out my hair, consider cutting it but convince myself not to (usually), freeze myself with cold water for as long as I can stand it. It feels silly because I know the amount is negligible but I can't stop. Does anyone else have odd habits like this?


I usually drink senna tea too if the scale doesn't move despite a deficit. But I hate it, I feel stupid drinking it, but I do it anyway.

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[Other] A comment from a customer at work
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 111 | 20.21 | -31 | F |]
Created: Sat May 14 21:36:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jei7f/a_comment_from_a_customer_at_work/
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I have worked at a bank for the last 4 years as a teller. A lot of the customers are "regulars," and have gotten to know me relatively well.

The last 2 years, I was at different branch location for school. I am now back at the original branch.

One of the regular customers commented on the weight I've lost (about 30 pounds in that 2 years -- even though it's mainly been the last 6 months) and said "you look too skinny. You shouldn't go back to how you were before, but shouldn't be where you are now" or some variation of that.

But he did say "you look too skinny," which I thought was interesting (and kind of funny) since I still want to lose another 20 pounds to hit my UGW.

Although he surely didn't mean it as such, I still took it as a compliment. Nothing wrong with being too skinny :)

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[Discussion] new plan, embarrassing story
/u/DrowsyDoll [5'11 | Big | Fat | Whale | F]
Created: Sat May 14 21:30:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jehhe/new_plan_embarrassing_story/
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i have been purging at my worst lately... utterly no self control... to the point iv got a sore on the roof of my mouth and and my teeth hurt... they never have before... iv been rinsing with baking soda water, but that only goes so far if ur bingeing like a mad person... hell i took liquid magnusium citrate (which was awesome btw compared to laxative pills)... but even after that, when i was *basically* in the clear... and only took it cuz i was a fat pig that binged and wanted it out ASAP.... i still chose to binge too close to finishing up the laxative... and lets just say TMI ahead here.... but you kno how it takes force and bearing down to purge, even if youre a pro.... i may or may not have been leaning over my toilet and purged/shat myself... so with that disgusting ugly truth (and funny now that its over)... iv realized this is not my time to be b/ping... iv been successful in the past, but not now... so here comes restricton... 300-500 calories a day, and i have that gap in there cuz ill b taking bits of adderall to jump start my way over the hunger pains and doubt ill b very tempted, prolly have to force a bit of veggies... (i get 20s frm a friend and cut em into 4th or half)... anyone else ever use vyvanse or adderall? it makes me much more goal orientated and focused... im not trying to tweak out and lose my mind, but ill b using enough to get by along with a multivitamin and some extra vit c...

*sigh* just typing that out made my anxiety lessen... a plan. a PLAN! and i will stick to it!

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[Rant/Rave] Need to vent, don't know who else to go to...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 14 21:28:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jeh5z/need_to_vent_dont_know_who_else_to_go_to/
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I am over 10 days late for my period. This is insanely and ridiculously unusual for me. I'm always between 26 and 30 days. But here I am. Sitting at day 42 almost 43.

There's a chance I could be pregnant. I've had sex a couple times since last cycle (used protection). So I took a home pregnancy test a couple days ago... came back a solid negative. I'm still freaking the fuck out though. I'm childfree. I don't want kids... I know quite a few of you here are parents, but I can't see myself as a mother. I don't want to be a mother. I have no maternal instinct. Meaning if my periods gone because I'm pregnant I have to have an abortion.

I'm so scared... I'm going into this alone. My boyfriend isn't childfree. So he almost is verging on wanting to keep it if I am pregnant even though we've discussed that aborion is the right solution in the past. I'm 19. I'm in college. I'm fucked up. I don't need to have a kid who could potential have the same fucked up brain I do. My parents would disown me. They'd be even more pissed if I gave up or aborted the kid.

I'm praying to a god I don't believe in that my ED has finally just wrecked my body and I've lost my period...

So here's to hoping for amenhorrea and not a baby.

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[Other] Tomorrow is a new day
/u/qwertylooping [5'3.5" | 120?? | 21.42 | GW 115 | f]
Created: Sat May 14 21:26:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jegzz/tomorrow_is_a_new_day/
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I just binged
I will not purge
I will not purge
I will not purge
I am stronger than that
and tomorrow is a new day

EDIT: I didn't purge!

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[Intro] Introduction!
/u/ThinPanda [5' | 78 | 15.23 | F]
Created: Sat May 14 20:55:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jed8j/introduction/
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Hi, everyone! I've been a lurker for a while and *finally* decided to join you lovely people. Having an ED is a horribly lonely experience, and of course I can't tell anyone about it. That's why I'm here! :)

I've had eating issues since I was 13/14, when I grew hips and felt like a hippo. Usually, I would just restrict when I was upset. Feeling totally empty inside feels amazing and it's the only coping mechanism I had (and still do). This was very sporadic, and those habits never really stayed for more than a day or two. It hit me the first time for real when I was getting ready to move away to college. I ate 100 calories a day several days a week, it being the only thing that comforted me. I was diagnosed with AN and was in denial about it for a long time. There's still a piece of me that thinks I'm just always "on a diet." I understand that there's probably have an ED, but I'm nowhere near ready to let go of these habits.

I have to admit I'm a perfectionist. A super extreme perfectionist. Restricting is the only thing that satisfies my need to be flawless. I'm obsessed with finding diets and making eating schedules. (By the way, if anyone wants a meal plan/calorie schedule, I'm your girl. I have a bazillion.) I love telling myself "no, you can't have that" when body wants food. It's extremely fulfilling and breaks you at the same time.

That being said, I'm *so* glad I found this sub and can talk to people who are in the same boat as me!

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[Help] Unsuspicious reasons to get a scale?
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 95 lb | 19.54 | -32 lb | FTM]
Created: Sat May 14 18:59:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jdz6q/unsuspicious_reasons_to_get_a_scale/
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My house doesn't have a scale, and I think the only place at my school that has one is the wrestling team (which I'm not part of) and the nurse's office (which I definitely can't go to just to weigh myself). I'm starting to get really stressed out at being unable to track myself - sure, I can look at my body, but that doesn't do much really. It's gotten to the point that I snuck around a friend's back at her house looking in her bathrooms to see if she had any scales. (She didn't.)

However, my birthday is coming up in a bit more than a week, and I figured that maybe I could ask for a scale, until I realized how suspicious and weird that sounds. My mom's already concerned about me losing weight (I can't hide how much I eat around her, and all her friends have been commenting on how I lost weight - thankfully they're attributing it to school stress), and she'd probably flat out refuse a scale if not just start looking for doctors.

Sorry, went on a bit of a tangent there. Does anyone have a good reason to get a scale? Stuff like "I want to be healthy" won't work with her...

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[Rant/Rave] My #1 recovery fear - gaining ONLY in my stomach
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Sat May 14 18:46:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jdxgx/my_1_recovery_fear_gaining_only_in_my_stomach/
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I'm not actually in recovery, I've just been binging for more than one day in a row and I'm horribly bloated and gaining fat around my waist.

I've managed to break out of the cycle but I realized why I'm so terrified of recovering. It's not because I'll have to gain weight, it's because I know I'll look weird and deformed. I gain 90% of the fat in my stomach, some in my legs and *nothing* on my chest and arms. I'll look like a freak. My body is an abomination. I know the fat evens out after a while but who knows how long that would take.

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How many calories do you eat per day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 14 16:53:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jdjd0/how_many_calories_do_you_eat_per_day/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Feeling like absolute shit emotionally and physically. Should I eat at maintenance for a day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 14 16:51:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jdj1t/feeling_like_absolute_shit_emotionally_and/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I was doing SO well today
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 137 lbs | -14 | GW 115 | 22.11 | F]
Created: Sat May 14 15:43:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jd9vw/i_was_doing_so_well_today/
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I ate spinach and canadian bacon and egg whites for like 200cals, then walked a few miles so I had 550 calories to spare. If I made it to the end of the day, I would've felt amazing. Then Mom had to order a pizza, and it was MY idea technically. I ate a whole pizza. It was small and it has spinach on it but still. Our house only has one bathroom so I can't purge and I ran out of laxatives. I feel like screaming and crying, but I can't even do that because outwardly I'm so...numb. It's all my fault and I don't know what to do.


So I guess ITT post your favorite puppy gifs/videos because that's all that's making me feel better right now. Puppies love you no matter how fat you are.


[Here's](https://www.instagram.com/p/BE8gkkLxxlO) mine.

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[Rant/Rave] What a terrible day
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat May 14 13:55:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jcv9q/what_a_terrible_day/
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Yesterday my mom told me I should keep loosing weight, friend I was planning to spend my evening with cancelled on me, my sort of boyfriend didn't want to cycle trough some fucking rain to see me either which I know is just some lame excuse. And now I'm laying in bed on my back and I swear I can feel the fat everywhere. Oh my gosh, I'm so disgusting. I don't want to do this anymore.

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[Discussion] DAE eat halo top like a fucking animal?
/u/Jitterly [163.5 cm | 48kg | 17.96 | F]
Created: Sat May 14 13:47:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jcu8m/dae_eat_halo_top_like_a_fucking_animal/
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Ive lived off cantaloupe, grapes, rice, and green beans for the past several months. I had halo top a few times before and thought it was ok but these past few weeks ive been absolutely addicted. I eat it for dinner now like all the damn time. I average around 800 cals a day, and its significantly increasing my protein intake, yet i cant help but feel as though im destroying my body by eating ice cream for dinner all the time.

Sorry for grammar and no flair, mobile.

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[Discussion] Why did I even prepare this food?
/u/AbandonEarth [5'9" | I'm disgusting | M]
Created: Sat May 14 12:51:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jcmas/why_did_i_even_prepare_this_food/
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I don't know if I can actually bring myself to eat it.


I feel like I'm in a catch-22 where I'll feel guilty if I eat it because I was doing so well with liquid fasting the past 2.5 days (I sadly broke it this morning with 6 prunes a lax mixed in a tiny bit of coffee because I haven't pooped since I started, sorry for TMI lol) or feel guilty if I don't eat it because I am wasteful. Why did I even put myself into this dilemma...


Anyway do you guys do any of this? Prepare a meal with the intention of eating and then back out once it's made?

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[Discussion] What are your Saturday night plans?
/u/wannabeamermaid [5'3 | 94.7 | 17.2| -34 | F]
Created: Sat May 14 11:22:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jc9gw/what_are_your_saturday_night_plans/
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Tonight I'm stuck at home revising for exams, so I need you guys to tell me the fun things you're doing so I can live vicariously through you. I've been feeling super binge-y lately so I went out and bought a four pack of Tesco's non-alcoholic sugar free ginger beer, a head of lettuce which I will douse in hot sauce (God bless Frank's Red Hot), and carrots. I wanted to get some jelly too, but I couldn't find any that was low-kcal and vegan :(

That's my night, what is everyone else up to??

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[Discussion] Frequent Fainters
/u/niecy_lindsay
Created: Sat May 14 10:45:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jc456/frequent_fainters/
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Hi guys. (No flair, mobile)

I'm doing a 40 day fast for my religious devotion and I'm about halfway done. But I seem to be passing out a lot more than what I consider normal, and during times that I'm not necessarily feeling bad. For instance my most recent one was when I was in the shower with my boyfriend, very embarrassing 😣 thankfully he's a wrestler and grabbed me while I was going down and sat me on the rug. He was super sweet about it all, But still? It was a 15 min shower. The water wasn't hot. I was fine.

Anyone have any fainting stories? What triggers you to faint? How do you feel before and after? How do you cope? Have you ever gotten caught?

Thanks, friends. Just want to feel less alone.

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[Rant/Rave] I've Been Referred to An ED Clinic
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 14 10:40:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jc3j7/ive_been_referred_to_an_ed_clinic/
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Summary of my past couple months / posts: I've gained 15lbs in less than 3 months. Real weight. Binging and purging does not work like restricting does and I'm paying for it. Went to my doctor to ask for an appetite suppressant for binging, she ended up referring me to an ED clinic instead. (2 days ago.)

Every Friday my work stops working early and drinks and hangs out together (craft beer on tap in the work kitchen = 60% of why I gained so much weight.) I was hanging out and playing games and got the call from the clinic. I got very emotional and pulled my friend into a conference room because I just needed to get it out. Apparently she struggled with an ED in the past and was put into treatment (before I met her) and she was very supportive. She said she thought something was wrong because of how quickly I was losing the weight and she regretted not asking me if I was okay sooner. I was crying and kept saying "I just wanted appetite suppressants" over and over and she said "that's not what's best for you, that's what's best for your disorder" and that hit really hard until I realised that what's best for my disorder is what's best for me.

I've struggled with BED pretty much my whole life before I started restricting properly, and now it's crept its way back into my world and I'm devastated. I didn't tell my doctor about my restricting, just the b/p. I'm going to go to the ED clinic and try to get my binge eating under control and then up my restricting on the side, so hopefully it'll end up being beneficial.

Anyways. Long rant, I'm sorry. Just needed to get out all of my feels.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat May 14 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jbyay/daily_food_diary_may_14_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for May 14, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Other] Very subtle wallpapers - motivational quotes
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 14 09:34:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jbuih/very_subtle_wallpapers_motivational_quotes/
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https://quotefancy.com/

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[Intro] After nearly a year of lurking and a major low followed by a minor victory, I've finally worked up the courage to introduce myself to you all. Here's my story.
/u/tobenothingatall [5'2 | 110 | 20.84 | -15 | f]
Created: Sat May 14 07:30:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jbes7/after_nearly_a_year_of_lurking_and_a_major_low/
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(Apologies in advance, this is a long post - I'm really bad at summarizing things)

So, as my title says, I've been lurking here for almost a year. You guys don't know me, but you've all provided me with so much support and inspiration through some really tough times, and I am so grateful. After the week I've just had, I finally I felt like it was finally time to make an intro post. Who knows if I'll actually go through with this though - I've created no less than 10 alt accounts and typed out a paragraph just like this one only to get anxious and delete it all.

I'm 24 years old. I've hated my body and struggled with food for as long as I can remember. Up until I was 14, it was because I was too small. I wasn't growing the way that I wanted to. When I was very young, I always ate very slow, and very little (everyone used to say I ate like a bird). I was *a lot* smaller than pretty much any of my peers, and at the time, I hated it. I remember dreading school shopping every year, and laying on the floor in the dressing room sobbing because I still had to shop in the little girl's section.

**I would give just about anything to be "too small" again.**

Near the end of my eighth grade year, I got my first period and with that, gained a more feminine body which came with some weight gain. At first, I loved it. I fit into my first pair of 00 pants. I finally hit triple digits on the scale. I had boobs! I was ecstatic. The excitement didn't last very long.

I kept gaining weight, and hit what for a long time was my peak weight of 117 pounds right around the beginning of my freshman year of high school, and I started to realize that I wasn't the tiniest girl at school anymore. I had no idea how devastating this would be for me. I became incredibly insecure, and the only thing I could think of was to try to purge when I ate. I could never actually do it, so nothing happened. Nonetheless, that year I fell in love for the first time and for a while, my weight didn't matter so much, and I was okay with the fact that I wore a size medium sometimes.

After the breakup the following year, I started spending a lot of time with my best friend. I don't remember how it happened, but we both expressed a lot of discontent with our own bodies, and together we made a pact to fix that. I could never quite accomplish restricting enough to reach my goals, but I did get myself to about 110 pounds and I was almost content there for a while.

When I turned 16, I started to find that eating was painful, and I often (involuntarily) threw up any time I ate. It came in waves. Like, I'd be totally normal for a couple of months, and then go weeks without being able to keep much more than liquids down. So, of course, my weight fluctuated a lot. While I loved the way I looked at my lower weights, I hated the pain I was in all the time, and that I couldn't maintain myself at those lower weights. Any time the problem would subside and I could eat again, I'd binge like no other. Plus, I was missing a lot of school because I really couldn't function well when I hadn't eaten for weeks, and my perfect grades were beginning to suffer. I decided to ask my parents if I could see a specialist.

After a few appointments and exploratory procedures, I found out that I had ulcers in my esophagus and stomach, and was diagnosed with "ideopathic gastroparesis" or delayed gastric emptying. There wasn't much they could do for me except recommend I smaller, more frequent meals and a special diet. I was bummed that there wasn't a way to cure my problem, but happy I at least knew what was going on.

It turned out to be not too difficult once I started changing the way I was eating, and I became very grateful for my condition because I could use it as an excuse not to eat. I even found that I could convince myself that hunger pains were gastroparesis pains and keep myself from eating. I hovered around 105 pounds with very little difficulty.

Then, life took a crazy turn. I was sexually abused by an immediate family member right before the beginning of my senior year of high school and I ended up being hospitalized for mental health issues for a month. After I came out of there, I started smoking massive amounts of pot and paid no attention to eating, or caring for myself in any other way, really.

That was, until I fell in love for the second time, but rather than with a boy it was with Adderall. Not only did it give me the motivation I needed to complete school work and take care of my appearance, but it allowed me to do so without eating. For a few months, I had a pretty steady supply and my weight dropped to the 90's for the first time since middle school. I finally had a sense of control. When I lost my connection for Adderall, my weight jumped back up, but not too high.

I struggled for years but remained at about 105 pounds pretty consistently.

Fast forward to last summer, I got myself down to 90-something pounds by restricting my calories. I'm not normally a super confident girl (working on it), but damn, I looked good. The best I ever had. My thighs didn't touch anymore and that made me so happy. Later last year, a long term relationship I'd been in started taking a negative turn and around the same time I started taking birth control for excessive period cramps. Between the hormones and the emotional eating, I gained weight like crazy. Fast.

At Thanksgiving, I'd been 100 pounds. By the end of January, I noticed that my clothes weren't fitting anymore. I decided to step on a scale and I freaked out when I saw that it was higher than my previous peak weight by exactly 10 pounds. In just over 2 months, I'd gained 27 pounds. I felt like a whale. I was so ashamed of my body and I felt like everybody was constantly staring at my biggest parts.

I needed to change something, so I started restricting as much as I could.

My boyfriend of multiple years and I officially broke up early February, and I started getting into a cycle of binging and restricting. I got myself down to 123 pounds, but my clothes still didn't fit right and I couldn't stop myself from binging every few days.

About a month later, I met a guy that I liked who was active and also experimenting with a low-carb, high-fat diet. I started being more active and tried the diet myself. It was decently successful in the month I followed the diet. I only lost 8 pounds, but I was also building muscle tone. Unfortunately for me, keto caused some weird problems for me like having a period every week. Which was miserable, so I stopped it and decided to try restricting instead.

I got excited about bringing carbs back into my life and my weight shot back up to almost 120. I stopped weighing myself because if I hid my body from myself and didn't see the number, I could pretend it wasn't real. Then, the other night, I lost it. I ended up crying myself to sleep because I take up too much space. I'm sick of feeling my thighs rub against each other when I'm walking. I'm sick of feeling the waist bands of some of my favorite dresses digging into me all day. I'm sick of having to squeeze into all of my pants. I miss people commenting on how tiny I am.

Yesterday, I completed my first successful 24-hour fast with the help of an EC stack. This morning, I planned on breaking the fast until I stepped on the scale for the first time in weeks and saw that I'm down to 113.2 pounds! That's the lowest weight I've been in 2016, and I feel like I can do this now. I don't have a goal weight per se, but I do know what I want my body to look like. After I'm done fasting, I'm planning to stick to 800 calories a day and try to fast 2 days every week. I'm lucky to have my condition and that I'm single, so it shouldn't be too difficult to explain my eating habits away like I always have in periods of restriction. I'm hoping that by the end of summer I can have a body I'm not so ashamed of.

I just want to thank everyone here for unknowingly being there for me and getting me through some really trying times this past year. I love all of you. You're so wonderful and lovely. I hope each of you are eventually able to obtain the same contentment and inner-peace that I'm looking for.

Also, to anyone who's actually made it this far, thanks for reading my ridiculously long story. It feels really good to actually be able to get all of this off of my chest, since you can't tell people IRL these sorts of things without running into problems.

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[Discussion] Is it acceptable to drink coffee??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 14 07:20:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jbdny/is_it_acceptable_to_drink_coffee/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Woke up this morning the heaviest I've been in about seven years
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Sat May 14 06:07:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jb5uk/woke_up_this_morning_the_heaviest_ive_been_in/
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I know at least a few pounds of that is only water, but I haven't weighed this much in a very very long time.

And while I'm totally not okay with it, it somehow seemed to flip a switch in my brain. I'm not freaked out (okay I totally am, but not manic or anything) or anxious or crazy.

I made a plan. I feel good about it.

I did learn that I need my scale. One week of only weighing myself 2x a week definitely contributed to this. I need to be accountable to myself. So I'm going back to weighing daily. Or six times a day. Whatever. So what if I'm addicted standing on a flat surface. There are way bigger problems I could have.

It's odd, but I feel strangely zen about this right now. Granted I'm sure by the end of the weekend I'll be freaking out, but right now, I feel optimistic about the future.

Happy Saturday loves!

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[Discussion] ITT we blame our disordered eating on someone else.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 | 27/F | SW: >230lbs - CW: 95lbs - GW: 90lbs OR 95lbs+muscle]
Created: Sat May 14 04:42:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jay6e/itt_we_blame_our_disordered_eating_on_someone_else/
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We all know it comes down to us. No one else starves us, no one else forces us to purge, no one else makes us binge. It's all us.

But let's face it, I'm sure a great many of us have at least one person or situation - or maybe multiple people and situations - in our heads, that we think '*If it weren't for them/that, I wouldn't want to starve/purge/binge now*'.

And, despite it all being down to us at the end of the day, maybe those thoughts hold at least a little truth to them.

Let's indulge ourselves. I'm interested to see who/what you blame.

So, who is it for you? And why? Is it one person, multiple people? One situation, multiple situations, and why? Anything and everything, no matter how silly you think it would sound. No matter how serious. Let it out.

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[Help] What kind of supplements do you guys take?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Sat May 14 04:16:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jaw3c/what_kind_of_supplements_do_you_guys_take/
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I need help on what supplements I should get. I'm currently fasting but after that fast, I'm only gonna eat around 300 cals. I will try and eat as much nutrients as I can through food but with 300 cals, it probably won't be enough.

Would really appreciate some help. :) thank you!

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[Intro] Hey everyone! New person here.
/u/Shuv7 [5'6'' | 130 | 21 | 0 | Female]
Created: Sat May 14 04:05:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jav4u/hey_everyone_new_person_here/
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Hey all.

This is my first time here. Honestly just looking for some support, as I'm having a bit of an anxiety attack.

I used to restrict my calories quite intensely back in early highschool, mostly due to insecurity and depression and all those other things that make you hate the way you look. I left middle school weighing about 126, and entered high school weighing about 108-110 (with pretty much 0 muscle mass). I feel like this was a bit overboard (for me personally) as I developed frequent heart palpitations and was experiencing a lot of negative health effects from it, including losing my period (which didn't come back until I medically induced it 2 years later).

During the end of highschool and into college, I didn't count calories so intensely. I still didn't eat much though. I put on some weight and plateaued around 120, which felt alright for me. I feel like 118 is my sweet spot as far as being comfortable in my own skin.

Today though, I'm up to 130. It happened very suddenly, within the last couple months. I have definitely been eating more, as school has been keeping me constantly stressed, which always drives me to eat. I also recently moved in with my boyfriend, who prepares regular meals that usually aren't super healthy.

I know I could be in a lot worse shape, but my pants barely button, my shorts from last summer don't button at all, and I honestly just feel like a size 2 sausage in a size 1 case. I don't feel like myself.

I'm glad I've found a community where I can share these feelings without judgement. I look forward to sharing my progress here as I move forward.

Here is a picture of me around 120 if anyone cares to see

http://i.imgur.com/ZOfqDiI.jpg

Here I am at my current state:

http://imgur.com/IbIWgdR

And I know I look ribby, but my ribcage is massive so it shows at pretty much any weight.

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[Rant/Rave] My friend's comment made me a little happy
/u/Polski_lesbian [5'3 | 120 | 21.8 | F]
Created: Sat May 14 01:50:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jaka4/my_friends_comment_made_me_a_little_happy/
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(This is my first post here, tell me if I've done anything wrong please!)
I was out shopping with one of my good friends, just chatting and looking at clothes. For context, my friend is a little overweight. I saw a pretty dress and I said I liked it, to which she said "Yeah, but it would look good on maybe someone like [a very thin friend]. Oh, and you, I keep forgetting you're skinny under all those clothes!"

I'm by no means "skinny", and it made me sad that she doesn't feel that confident with her body - but it also sort of improved my self esteem.

---

[Rant/Rave] Intro/Rant - About to lose it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 14 01:30:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jaijq/introrant_about_to_lose_it/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] Does anyone want to fast with me?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Sat May 14 00:39:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4jae49/does_anyone_want_to_fast_with_me/
---
[removed]

---

[Other] I just bent over my toilet and silently, quickly purged....
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 13 22:22:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ja137/i_just_bent_over_my_toilet_and_silently_quickly/
---
I forgot how good this relief feels. Shit. I feel in control again. But purging is an exact measure of being logically out of control. FUUUUCK. It seems that when I tried to "recover", I simply fell deeper into this ED.

Sipping tea and taking an antacid then getting back into bed and curling up as tiny as I can curl.

---

[Rant/Rave] I think my friend is starting to notice
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Fri May 13 22:13:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ja00p/i_think_my_friend_is_starting_to_notice/
---
I'm helping her move, so I spent all day with her. She saw my chocolate protein shake for lunch, and I thought I would be free to go eat the amazing dinner I had planned at home. But instead somehow I get taken to go get Wendy's with her and her boyfriend. Fast food. Awesome. Clearly there will be nothing I can eat there. But surprise! Yay! They've just added a fancy new salad that is 40g of protein for 450 calories, or 20g of protein for 240 calories! By eating the smaller portion I'm still on track for calories, although low of protein.

Well, the veg part was shit, so I ate all the chicken and cheese and beans on top. But while I'm in the middle of playing with the rest she stops and says "I don't know if you're not eating because you're not hungry or..."

I cut her off with an explanation that the lettuce was shit so I was eating all the nutritional and calorie dense parts, but I still wonder right now what she was about it say. Does she know?

I am spending most of tomorrow with her too, and am supposed to go out to dinner with her and her parents and a bunch of other people. I don't want to eat over 600 calories, but I need to make sure she doesn't know what's happening.... Arg.

---

[Other] I wasted $44 on a 24ct box of Bronkaid on Ebay...
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 20:56:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j9qw0/i_wasted_44_on_a_24ct_box_of_bronkaid_on_ebay/
---
When it was easy to ask for at the local Walgreens for $16.64 for a 60 ct box! Sooooo relieved I don't have to order it online and pay so much for so little! I was having such bad anxiety because I haven't taken an EC stack in a few days and have been doing around 1100cals per day instead of 300-500 cals on the stack. I feel like it's just so hard for me to restrict without it, I feel like such a wannarexic compared to you strong people who can do water fasts for multiple days! I'm hoping to build up to that since I feel I'm still early on in my relapse.

---

[Discussion] Purging without binging?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 19:33:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j9gkv/purging_without_binging/
---
Does anyone else do this? Every night for the last four days I've eaten a totally normal amount for dinner, maybe 400 or 500 planned calories, and gone and thrown it right back up. I guess it's just another one of EDNOS's endless facets.

---

[Tip] Found these for 75c a pop, + I really like them! 180 calories for the whole box, and all that's needed is a bit of salt to taste. Plus, it's organic!
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: fat af | BMI: fat | GW: 115lb/52kg | F22]
Created: Fri May 13 16:49:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j8uf4/found_these_for_75c_a_pop_i_really_like_them_180/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Yrgpr

---

[Help] Post binge liquid fast?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Fri May 13 16:33:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j8s1h/post_binge_liquid_fast/
---
Any tips for a post binge liquid fast? Been binging away over the last couple of days and the self hatred is at an all time high. Is there any advice anyone could offer?

---

[Rant/Rave] Somebody has been eating my food
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 15:03:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j8e8v/somebody_has_been_eating_my_food/
---
Semi ED related rant.

BF and I have like no money for food so I'm pretty projective of my food, and the ED makes me even more protective of my food, especially lower cal things.

We live with a ton of his family because we can't aford rent and someone just admitted to taking our eggs. Like we can't usually aford meat (money and calorie wise) that's out major source of protine! And she's just been casually sneaking eggs from our cartons. If we ate anything of hers she'd flip shit. I just want to curl up and cry.


Thanks for makeing me feel so much better Lovlies. <3

---

[Help] Ephedrine consequences?
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 115 | 19.1 | -5.7 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 14:36:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j89u3/ephedrine_consequences/
---
I ordered this online, got it in the mail a few days ago. I love it, takes away my desire to eat, and with it eliminates so. Much. Stress.

I have been taking 30-60 mg a day. I know it's bad for your heart if you take it for a long time, or too much. Has anyone experienced other negative effects from long term use?

---

[Other] delightful Thai restaurant surprise
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 13 14:29:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j88r9/delightful_thai_restaurant_surprise/
---
so my work friend kept bugging me about going out to eat for lunch. It used to be a thing we'd do, before I started taking my restriction seriously.

I was stressing about our lunch date all week; where would we go, what would I order, how much money would I spend, would I purge it later? etc. etc.

Since it was my choice I decided on a local Thai place; maybe I'd get a brothy soup and some Vietnamese spring rolls.

We got there and I decided to go with the spring rolls and nam sod salad. I had no idea what nam sod was, but the description sounded 'healthy'-diced up steamed chicken breast, cilantro, white onion, red onion, ginger, on top of a bed of lettuce, swimming in lime juice with a sprinkling of peanuts on top.

HOLY. SHIT. it was soooooo good, and it only came out to 300 cals- all from the chicken and peanuts. not only was it good, but it was super filling, like, I can't even eat dinner tonight, I'm so full.

Not only that, but my spring rolls only came out to 90 cals, from the crab meat and the rice paper wrappers.

I was completely dreading this lunch; I thought I'd for sure blow my cals for the day which would just encourage a binge later. Instead I choose super healthy and low cal options which left me so full I can't even eat dinner. If all goes well, I might have a sub 1000 cal day for once!

overly exuberant tip; if you ever find yourself in a Thai restaurant, go for the nam sod salad! Its literally just steamed chicken on top of vegetables with no oils/fats added. The dress is just lime juice and ginger! Soooo good, omg, and if you're really looking to cut cals you can ask to omit the peanuts.

---

[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else feel like this trend of sharing "cooking" videos is the worst thing that's ever happened to them?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 13 13:57:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j83fq/does_anyone_else_feel_like_this_trend_of_sharing/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] I bought a goal dress today
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri May 13 13:30:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j7yzi/i_bought_a_goal_dress_today/
---
A size 0, it's so cute and I was trying it on. It fits but it would look better with more off of me. My mom walked upstaires and commented on it.

She then said I should loose some weight.

Aw yes, thanks mom.

---

[Help] Help me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 13 13:03:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j7us9/help_me/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Tops are too big, where can I sell?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 13 13:01:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j7ue5/tops_are_too_big_where_can_i_sell/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] I'm super into Astrology, and would love to do your birth charts to see if we have similar personality traits that could relate to our EDs :)
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 12:48:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j7s8q/im_super_into_astrology_and_would_love_to_do_your/
---
EDIT: Sooo, I got way more of these than I thought anyone would be interested in! So cool! I'm gonna stop taking requests for these for now though. I've got a lot, and I literally write a novel and have to look up all your signs/planets in a book haha so they take a little while. And I don't want anyone to request and get left out! So, if you've already posted/PM'd me, you're on my list, and I will get you a reading by the end of the weekend! Thank you lovelies for letting me do these for you! :)

**** I've posted a lot today, sorry guys! haha slow day at work, basically.

But I was thinking the other night that it would be fun to do some of your birth charts, and see if there are any recurring signs, and if it could maybe be linked to personalities that have EDs!

If you don't know exactly what a birth chart is, it's a little bit to explain on here.

But basically, where you were born geographically, the time, and mm/dd/year determine your zodiac sign. And you have many signs, for each planet in the solar system, which represents a different part of your personality.

For instance, my main sign (Sun Sign) that everyone knows about themselves, is Aquarius.

BUT my sign in Venus (the planet that represents sexuality) is Pisces., and etc etc for each planet and what they represent.

So, if you feel comfortable, comment/message me your birth date, time, and where you were born!

Or if you're already into astrology and have done your birth chart, comment something you think is in your chart that contributes to your ED.

---

[Intro] Intro + Afraid of cake day
/u/IwasIamIwillbe [5'3 | 127lbs | 23.1 | -71lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 13 12:39:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j7qv1/intro_afraid_of_cake_day/
---
Hey, longtime lurker here... I've struggled with food since I was 8. I lived with my grandparents who overfed me while shaming me for being fat, so I started a habit of stuffing my mouth with food and running to spit it in the toilet. In my pre-teens the binges began, and by 14 I had started purging as well. Around the same time I began restricting, but always swung back and forth between the 2, never restricting enough to lose a significant amount of weight.

I "recovered" by smoking weed. I was literally always stoned. Before I realized what I was doing, I had become 198 lbs. It was a bit of a struggle, and a lot of ups and downs, but I'm back to 130 and excited at the possibility of hitting my GW. Even though I don't know what it is yet. Maybe 115? 105? 95? I hope I'll know it when I get there.


I turn 26 this month and I'm dreading it! I've moved back home after living away for 7 years, and am staying with my parents. What a nightmare. I love them, but already my mom thinks I'm too skinny. I guess that's the curse of obese parents. She thinks it's really important for me to eat cake on my birthday, even though I don't like cake. And when I tried to weasel out of it she just brought up a bunch of other alternatives. And she's inviting people over.

This feels like a ridiculous situation for an adult to be in. I should mention that I only moved back because I was fleeing an abusive relationship.

Hope I can be helpful to you all. I'm glad this subreddit exists. It can be really hard not being able to talk to anyone.

---

[Help] LoseIt App and Losertown not accurate?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 12:20:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j7nj0/loseit_app_and_losertown_not_accurate/
---
So, on my lose it app, I put in my GW as 98 pounds and that I wanted to lose it fast. It stated I needed to eat about 800 a day, and I would be that weight by 7/23 (already sounded way too good to be true)

Then I check Losertown.com (again, because it was too good to be true) and it said I'd be 110lbs eating 800cal by 7/23.

Sooo, who do I trust? Losertown or LoseIt? Or anyway I'm reading LoseIt app wrong??

Thanks guys!

---

[Discussion] Uh, why didn't you guys tell me fiber one bars only have 90cal?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 11:50:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j7iip/uh_why_didnt_you_guys_tell_me_fiber_one_bars_only/
---
I feel so betrayed.. lol

Really though. I've been eating granola bars with 160cal, and I thought fiber one was about the same. Just looked on their website, and they are 90cal!

I just can't stop thinking about the amount of times and all the 70cals I've wasted on my current yogurt ones.

Mehhhh.

I'm at 250cal for the day. What about everyone else? How are your days going cal/and non-cal wise? :D

---

[Rant/Rave] I have to eat with my family tomorrow and I'm fucking dreading it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 13 11:13:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j7c3i/i_have_to_eat_with_my_family_tomorrow_and_im/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] Trading cigarettes for meals?
/u/Melusedek [173 | 58.9 | 19.45 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 11:09:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j7bk1/trading_cigarettes_for_meals/
---
So I'm not advocating picking up smoking, but I've been having guy issues and I knew if I went home I was going to eat my feelings so I decided to take a long walk to clear my head and figure out some shit.

Backstory: I don't smoke habitually (maybe one or two nights a month when going out) but I had this friend that whenever we would talk about relationship problems we would do it over cigarettes.

So, as kind of a trigger, I was really wanting to talk like that again so I bought a pack as I was walking. And shit, I was hungry before, but not anymore. I didn't even smoke the whole pack ('only' 6 over the course of an hour and a half:/) but I'm back home and the only thing I want in my mouth is water. Complete 180 from how hungry I was feeling earlier.

I did some [research](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cigarette_smoking_for_weight_loss) and apparently nicotine is an appetite suppressant. Plus, it gives you something else to do with your mouth instead of eat (and it makes food taste awful). You even get the same affect from nicotine gum if you don't feel like destroying your lungs while destroying the rest of your body :P

Edit: and I posted earlier that I would stop being active here since I wasn't sure if I actually had an ED. I'm still not sure but right now restricting is like the best thing in my life so idk I might not have a a full blown ED but there's definitely something not normal going on up there.

---

[Help] Scale not moving?!
/u/teenieluna [5'2 | x | x | F :(]
Created: Fri May 13 10:28:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j74m9/scale_not_moving/
---
I look smaller, my clothes are bigger, but my scale will. not. budge. I tried testing it with weights and its working fine. I tried adding a weight to my weight, and it worked fine. I've been stuck at the same weight for 3+ weeks! Sometimes it will fluctuate down a lb, but then it goes right back. It will not go lower!!

I've been netting < 800... I eat what I burn off. I mostly do cardio/calisthenics. I didn't think gaining muscle would happen at a rate that would make me maintain whilst restricting. When I still see the same higher # on the scale, I want to scream. I want to lower my bfp, but I also want to be lighter... And to hit my goal weights x_x

I know if I don't want to gain muscle, I need to stop working out. But I'm afraid that just restricting is going to make me skinny fat... I don't want to be jiggly.. Which is why I'm working out. I keep feeling so torn between what to do to achieve *both* goals.

---

[Other] Vacation Victories
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 13 10:17:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j72tq/vacation_victories/
---
I decided this would be a binge weekend. I'm visiting my husband for the first time in a month. He's started a new job in a new state but I can't move here until after a wedding I'm in at the end of the month.

So we haven't seen each other in ages and I knew that trying to restrict this weekend would put a damper on our time together. So I got all ready, mentally, to eat like a normal person.

Then someone (I'm sorry I don't remember who!) posted something about determining which kind of ED you have. Curious, I clicked the link, read, and learned that I am Bulimic. I didn't think you could be bulimic if you didn't actually vomit, but apparently the definition includes purging by exercise and diuretics, which I do.

For some reason this gave me a lot of peace. There's a yoga studio near my husbands hotel and I'm going to take back to back classes today to sweat out everything. I am pushing for hiking tomorrow over board games. Monday I can hit up the yoga studio again while he's at work.

Even though I can't restrict, I can purge via exercise and it feels like being allowed to call my exercise "purging" puts me back in control again.

It really is just a mental game sometimes. And having a classification more specific than "some kind of eating problem" is kind of freeing. I'm bulimic, like hundreds of brilliant people all over the world are bulimic. Does anyone understand what I'm rambling at? That sort of freedom of classification and words?

---

Feeling like you are about to binge? Here's my post binge stomach.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 13 10:17:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j72td/feeling_like_you_are_about_to_binge_heres_my_post/
---
http://i.imgur.com/AQu3TVM.jpg

---

[Intro] Someone please talk to me right now.
/u/musemusings [5'9" | 139.6 | 20.24 | -18.6]
Created: Fri May 13 10:05:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j70ow/someone_please_talk_to_me_right_now/
---
Quick intro: My mom, grandmother, great grandmother all had eds. I grew up in a household that binge ate, then starved. I was a dancer. I've wanted to lose 10 pounds for as long as I can remember. My mother starved herself nearly to death when I was 5, and the attention she got was something I always envied. Starved myself through high school. Am struggling with binging and purging/laxatives/starving at the moment and kicking around the idea of talking to my doctor.

So I live with my boyfriend of two years. We celebrated our two year anniversary this week... We both just transitioned into new jobs, and I've been struggling with depression as a result. I've been losing control more, and the amount I ate last night knocked the wind out of me. I usually am able to detach myself from my psychosis enough to talk normally, but last night was out of character. I sat on the edge of the bed, unable to catch my breath, trying to remember what a normal meal is like. He just stared at me. The tiniest, most pitiful, "Help me," left my mouth. He started going on about how we'll get back to eating healthily soon. I went out to sleep on the couch. He didn't follow me.

Today, he tried to just sit next to me, but I sent him away. He doesn't understand that what he's doing just makes me feel like, why can't I get this under control? Like I need to try harder, when I really think I need help. Not only are the thought processes impossible to control when I binge, but the failure I'm feeling is starting to pervade every aspect of my life.

I think I'm going to leave him. He doesn't understand why I am so upset today, I am very clear about my feelings, but he is too busy playing on his phone to notice that his girlfriend yo you between the SAME FUCKING TEN POUNDS every month or so, and if I stay here, where no one tries to come to where I am and help me, I really think I'm going to end up doing something drastic.

I really feel lost right now. Someone please just help me talk through this.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri May 13 10:02:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j707n/daily_food_diary_may_13_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 13, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] Never been so happy to have a stomach bug!
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 13 09:43:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j6wxr/never_been_so_happy_to_have_a_stomach_bug/
---
My wedding is a week today, I am feeling fat as fuck, so God has blessed me with a stomach bug, no appetite at all and fluid coming out of both ends.

It sounds super gross, but I am getting so anxious about the wedding I keep binging... now I can't!

---

[Discussion] Best jobs to keep up with habits?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 13 09:42:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j6wt0/best_jobs_to_keep_up_with_habits/
---
What's the ideal job for some with an ED?
I was thinking retail because you get discount clothes in some places. But then I also though a restaurant because you get to watch people eat and not eat anything. But then what if that leads to a binge?

I have to get a job over the summer and I want something that will allow me to easily skip meals and not be too hard because I'd hate to faint on the job... Any ideas?

---

[Other] I have a lot of these when I am feeling down...
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 13 09:33:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j6v9q/i_have_a_lot_of_these_when_i_am_feeling_down/
---
http://imgur.com/JVYV5NY

---

[Rant/Rave] Well I'm all the way off the metaphorical wagon ):
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 08:54:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j6om0/well_im_all_the_way_off_the_metaphorical_wagon/
---
I gained 3 actual pounds over the course of the month. I haven't been restricting my drinking and have been night binging ): it's been a shit show after so much success. Of course I get fat at the time of year when everyone is gonna see me! And of course my sister has lost weight ): ugh. So I'm back. I have a little over a month before I go to the beach. I'm sick of this cellulite and fat hanging over my head. My abs are gone and I have a block of pudge ):

---

[Goal] I got a new mug for tea at school :D
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 08:33:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j6l73/i_got_a_new_mug_for_tea_at_school_d/
---
https://imgur.com/kHPBFcg

---

[Rant/Rave] Best News I've Heard All Week...
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 07:07:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j685n/best_news_ive_heard_all_week/
---
Let me start by saying this is a pretty shitty thing to say BUT....

My husband and I are buying our first house in 4 days. We will have a gap of 2 weeks until the moving day to allow me to finish teaching. He suggested one of us stay at the apartment and one stay at the house during the interim to protect our belongings as we slowly move valuables and breakables before the movers get there. (We don't live in a great area of a large city, currently. The house is in a much safer area.)

All I can think is "I don't have to pretend for a little while."

Edited because spelling.

---

[Other] Funnies for Friday ~ Hope everyones weekend is awesome.
/u/MulattoKhaleesi
Created: Fri May 13 06:17:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j61ju/funnies_for_friday_hope_everyones_weekend_is/
---
http://imgur.com/7vU6M9g

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! May 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri May 13 06:03:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j5zre/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_may_13_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for May 13, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

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[Rant/Rave] I'm a clumsy idiot
/u/Ire_of_suburbia
Created: Fri May 13 05:47:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j5xvu/im_a_clumsy_idiot/
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This morning I accidentally hit a bottle of soap and it fell right on my bathroom scale. Now it won't turn on and I'm about to have a fucking panic attack. I mean I did weigh myself this morning so I'm fine for today but how the hell am I supposed to function until I get a new one? I feel like I'm already getting fatter ffs.
Why am I such a fucking idiot? Why didn't the soap get on something else? Why did the scale break? Why can't I cope with not knowing my weight for a couple days? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYKILLMENOW

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[Help] How to handle coworkers making comments?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 13 05:44:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j5xju/how_to_handle_coworkers_making_comments/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] This week has been a fucking shit show
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Fri May 13 04:08:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j5np2/this_week_has_been_a_fucking_shit_show/
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So I'm running way more than I ever used to. I've upped it from about 4-4.5 miles a day to just over 6 a day. And I was finding that I was eating fine during the day, but after my run (I finish somewhere between 5 and 5:30 usually) I was eating EVERYTHING. It wasn't even that I was really hungry. I was just binging on everything. Horribly.

So I thought, okay I definitely need to be eating more. If I give myself more calories a day, it'll keep me from all this binging.

On a side note, I'm lazy AF. So the easiest way for me not to binge is just not to have the food in the house. The chances are very low that I'll leave the house to get binge food. But for some stupid ass reason, this week while shopping I decided I was going to buy stuff I could binge on, but eat it like a normal person. You know, like, a serving size a day? Yeah. Surprisingly, that totally didn't work.

So I upped my calories, I ate an extra 200 during the day before my run. Still binged. It's terrible. I don't really want to, but I'm pretty sure my brain has already decided to eat whatever binge food I have left in the house today. At least it'll be gone and I won't be stupid enough to bring it into the house next week.

With all the running, I'm probably only eating a couple hundred calories over my TDEE (not that that isn't fucking horrible but it could be worse) so if I just fucking stop, it'll only be a bad week.

I really need to re-evaluate my diet. Even when I'm eating 'well' (whatever that means) it's been all over the place lately. I can't decide if I'm keto or not anymore. I can't figure out what foods I even feel okay about eating. I'm just a giant mess.

Ugh. I just feel so gross right now. The worst part was this morning. I woke up on my stomach and I couldn't feel my hipbones pressing into the mattress.

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[Goal] Instead of fasting today, I binged.
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Fri May 13 02:43:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j5fh8/instead_of_fasting_today_i_binged/
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Or "binged". I only ate less than 1,200 calories. But that's the most I've eaten in weeks. I purged some of it but I couldn't even stick around and finish. I'm so disappointed in myself.

I might try and fast for five days. I won't punish myself if I don't finish it. But I should at least try my hardest. I really hope I'll be able to do this.

Started fast at 4 pm, Friday.

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[Help] Are there any calorie counting apps that won't judge me for not eating??
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Fri May 13 02:01:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j5bjl/are_there_any_calorie_counting_apps_that_wont/
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Myfitnesspal is awesome, really. But won't give me any stats if I don't eat atleast a 1200 a day. How the fuck does anyone eat that much?? Then I have to lie so it says 1200 but then it says I'll weigh 2lb's less in 5 weeks. And then I have major panic attacks. Not having it. I'm on android if that matters.

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[Intro] 3,000 mile road trip & a ferry [intro]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 13 01:09:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j56jf/3000_mile_road_trip_a_ferry_intro/
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[deleted]

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[Intro] sort of an intro
/u/sannaba
Created: Fri May 13 00:44:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j53yl/sort_of_an_intro/
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hi,

i used to be more active (relatively) on this forum. back then i lost 70 pounds over 5 months. i've gained 10 back and i feel like a beached wale when lying supine like now. im going to fast tomorrow to jump start the weight loss

i miss y'all so much. it always surprises me how honest, kind, and warm this community is, and I'm glad to be a part of it again

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[Rant/Rave] Getting back into it
/u/Infinite_cats
Created: Fri May 13 00:22:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j51r8/getting_back_into_it/
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I'm finally in charge of my meals and I'm eating like a pig. I just have to get back on track before I start gaining again....

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[Goal] Hit my first goal
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Thu May 12 22:52:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j4rus/hit_my_first_goal/
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so two weeks ago i cut out all carbs even oatmeal and rice cakes (previous safe foods) nuts and nut butter. in 10 days i lost 5 lbs, 1&1/2 inches and gained muscle (measured by my nutritionist)! im so fucking proud! you can see my abs like i was okay wearing a bathing suit in public WHAAATTT. Ive been only semi counting calories (cuz i know how much everything is lol hard to not look at an egg white and think oh 35 cals....) still have like 10 lbs to go but usually successes causes me to cheat then binge but im still going strong protein only... im on vacation for a week and going to try so hard to not go off my "diet" ah wish me luck

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[Help] End of semester binge-a-thon (How can I get this under control??)
/u/PaperDoctor [5'4"| 119 | 20.5| -20 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 22:43:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j4qsz/end_of_semester_bingeathon_how_can_i_get_this/
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Howdy all, I am in need of advice!
I finally got back into a good mindset for weight loss and I've been successfully restricting and losing steadily (~750kcal/day) for a while now.. I LOVE the feeling I get from restricting, but for some reason all of my self control totally goes out the window when I go back to my mom's house (I live 2 hrs away for uni). I can eat low cal when I control the foods I'm surrounded by, but when I go home its like a dam bursts in my mind and I end up going on insane binges... My mom has no idea I have problems around food and keeps a lot of super high cal junk in the house for my all-star track running sister, who eats like crazy!
Do any of you have advice for self control when you are surrounded by trigger foods? I love my mom but I avoided going home this semester because I was scared of really painful binges:/
But now that my classes are over, I have no excuses to not visit. Also I miss my family:(
(Sorry, can't flair on mobile)
Thanks xx

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[Help] Questioning recovering, having mixed feelings
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 124 | 18/18.3 | -22 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 22:15:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j4nk5/questioning_recovering_having_mixed_feelings/
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I relapsed a month and a half ago. It hasn't been *that* bad, but I wanted it to get worse. Originally, I had no plans to recover anytime soon. I did want to eventually, but only after hospitalization was necessary. (My reasoning for wanting to be hospitalized is that I feel like my pain is only valid if I'm in danger and/or hurting myself, so I feel the strong *need* to hurt myself in order to feel like the pain I feel is valid. So ending up in the hospital because I starved myself so much would be SO validating.)

Now I'm questioning that plan because of my new boyfriend. He is amazing. I love him. He loves me. He knows about my eating issues and more (not necessarily the full severity of some of the issues, though), and still accepts and supports and loves me. I don't want to hurt him by ending up in the hospital. Because I know it would devastate him to experience me being in such a damaged state since he cares about me so much. And this relationship gives me something to live for. I know it might sound cliche. But it's the truth. I don't know what to do. I've planned to start eating 1200 calories a day as a first step. Tomorrow will be my first day of that.

The thing is that I feel like, if I choose to recover now, I feel like this whole relapse will be invalid... Like it won't be a "real" relapse, because it never actually got bad. And I've never needed to be hospitalized for disordered eating before, so I feel like my issues with eating won't be valid unless I go to the hospital for them at some point. My relationship with my boyfriend makes me want to try to overcome this in a different way, but I don't if I should... I'm conflicted. I need help. I don't know what to do.

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[Intro] An introduction + about me
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -38 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 21:54:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j4kxs/an_introduction_about_me/
---
I've had body issues since childhood, but was always a normal weight. Then had bulimia for a few years and then tried to recover (aka eat everything). Now I'm back via restriction and had since dropped almost 40 pounds.

Bulimia was a wild ride. I know all eating disorders are terrible for you, but shit, I felt dead. No energy, no brain function, working out for hours, laxative abuse, waste of money, body/skin looked terrible. Every molar has been filled from the cavities. I then moved in with roommates and shared a bathroom with 4 other girls. I stopped my habits cold turkey and tried to steer towards health. There is a lot between then and now, but the now is better. Restricting is hard on the body and mind, but I try to minimize damage. I eat well, take my vitamins/supplements, get sleep, etc. I feel so much better restricting and I can't believe I went through years of b/p-ing. Not that you get to *chose* which one you want, but I felt bulimia was honestly going to kill me. I didn't even know I had the stomach flu for a week because I abused laxatives so bad and messed up my insides. It took a family member getting it for me to realize. So that's that. I'm not treating my body 100%, but I'm better. It's like wearing a seatbelt when speeding on the freeway. You'll still get fucked up if you crash, just less fucked up.

Exactly 16 weeks from today, I will be moving to Paris. I will not be the fat American there. I lived there twice as a student and even at ~145 felt like an absolute blimp compared to the women around me. I refuse to dwell on the past and only look forward.

16 weeks. Even if I lost weight like a *normal* person at the *healthy* loss of 1 pound per week, I'd hit 116 pounds when my plane lands. My goal weight has been 115 for a long time, so that makes me perfectly happy. With the lovely losertown chart, 800 cals per day with 1-3 days of light exercise has been hitting 118 at the end of June. However, we all know the excitement losertown can cause. I might want to lose more once I get to Paris again, but I'll reevaluate when the time comes. Not getting too ahead of myself.

I eat very clean now. No sugar, dairy, wheat, anything processed with 5+ ingredients. I did it for better skin and just stuck with it. I eat no more than 800 calories per day, water fast 1 day per week, and have no solid foods 2 days per week. I do the no-solids because my digestive system isn't the best after years of bulimia, so I try to give it a bit of a break. Today was one of those days and I had: Superfood greens powder with almond milk, protein shake, tomato soup, and oatmeal (I count oatmeal as a non-solid since it's easily digestible).

I've been here before and deleted my account when I gave up internet for a few months, but I'm back. I'm just super grateful for the community here and wish you all the best!

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[Rant/Rave] What the hell is wrong with me....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 12 21:23:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j4gwd/what_the_hell_is_wrong_with_me/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] HIFW I finally start exercising again 😂
/u/holloday [5'7" | 117 | 18.4 | -13 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 20:21:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j487p/hifw_i_finally_start_exercising_again/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/a68d98170fe44568aeb9cbaddb65a4ba?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=5c72fad08752dcbf78d7b0b75a2db200

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[Rant/Rave] I ate way over my calories today and I surprisingly feel pretty okay about it.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Thu May 12 19:52:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j440n/i_ate_way_over_my_calories_today_and_i/
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As some of you may know from my previous posts, I have a horse show this weekend. Today all the horses went to the show grounds and we practiced and set up and stuff. All I had prior to arriving was a Fiber One bar. I wasn't planning on eating anything else besides a veggie burger when I got home, but people from my barn decided to get lunch. I could have said I wasn't hungry and skipped out, but I'm trying to make friends at my barn (I'm newish there) so I tagged along. I had a chicken wrap and a smoothie.

Looking back at it, I could have done without the smoothie and I could have had the chicken wrap made as a bowl, omitting the tortilla. What's done is done and there's nothing I can do about it. My calories are at 1511 for today which is still under my TDEE. I'm trying to remind myself that I was *super* physically active today with all the riding I did (ended up riding 1 extra horse!) and all the walking I did around the show grounds.

I have a feeling that the rest of the weekend will be like this - going out to eat with barn friends. And that's okay. In the past when I'd relapse, I would still eat socially, at horse shows, etc., and restrict on normal days. I think I need to get back to that point even though I'm not ready to fully recover. Last night after drinking and eating a little bit with friends, I felt super guilty. But today I didn't feel guilty. I guess because I know I need to be properly fueled to ride and compete. I'm glad I'm not letting my eating disorder win. I'm glad I'm not picking my eating disorder over my horse <3

I had planned to eat a breakfast sandwich @ 320 calories an hour before competing each day, but I think I'm going to swap that for a 140 calorie Fiber One bar since it's likely that we'll all be going out to eat every day.

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[Rant/Rave] Ridiculously happy update to my post from yesterday
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 19:03:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j3ws9/ridiculously_happy_update_to_my_post_from/
---
Yesterday I posted about being terrified to go to this woman's house for fear of binging on the cookies she *always* has. So like usual, I fasted all day (EC stack, bless up, so I never really feel hungry), just to prepare worst case scenario (also i needed to fast anyway). I get there and there are NO COOKIES. She put out the popcorn that I brought last time that's 39 calories per cup! The bowl held about 4 cups, and between us, we didn't eat half, so I'm logging about 60 calories for that, putting my day at ~200 (creamer for the rest of it). UGH i'm so happy. Today was just the absolute best.

I kind of feel like it was a cop out, like I don't know if I *would* have said no to the cookies, had they been out. BUT something something don't look a gift horse in the mouth, eh?

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[Help] Gained 10 lbs in a few days, feeling like shit
/u/DulcolaxWeight
Created: Thu May 12 18:33:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j3sif/gained_10_lbs_in_a_few_days_feeling_like_shit/
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I'm 5'3 and normally 107 lbs. I ran out of my appetite suppressants this past Sunday and apparently they are back ordered online and I can't get them until the 22nd (2 weeks >.<) which sucks ass. Since Sunday I've packed on TEN FUCKING POUNDS so I'm now 117 and I'm panicking because I'm almost 120 and literally four days ago I was 107. The fuck is this shit?! So anyways I picked up some Dulcolax laxatives because I've heard they really flush you out. Is this true? I'm in serious need of advice. Does Dulcolax really work to shit out water weight? I know the 10 lbs I gained is mostly water, so I really want to get it all off before Saturday. Please help.

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[Rant/Rave] Nope nope nope nope, crawling back to restriction.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 12 18:23:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j3qvj/nope_nope_nope_nope_crawling_back_to_restriction/
---
Today at work I could feel my jiggle as I walked. I feel my jeans squeezing my gut. I could feel my arms brushing up against my sides. I could feel my fat face protrude when I smiled or laughed so I promptly stopped. I could just FEEL myself all day. I could feel my dimensions and I felt like everyone at work was thinking either, "she looks healthy,", "she put on weight", "she's bloated" etc. No one indicated this, but I could just feel it.

So I come home and get out of my tight fucking pants and stood in front of the mirror and holy shit....I had to look away and my eyes welded up with tears and my face felt all hot. I look DISGUSTING and SLOPPY. So I came to the kitchen and just started eating. Now I feel tired and defeated. I was supposed to fast today? FUCK "not restricting"...this TORTUROUS MINUTE-TO-MINUTE physical awareness + the way I look in a mirror is NOT worth this struggle.

I want to feel clean, tiny, dainty, sexy, feminine, powerful, confident. I want that back. I want to BE that way too. I want to say no. I don't want to give it every time.

I just want it all back. I'm going to a show tonight and wearing a giant tshirt so I can dance freely and be happy. I'll drink beer and enjoy it becasue fuck it, I'm already a sloppy fuck this week. Then I'm re-setting. I have to re-set.

I was 115 at my lowest (ugh, I know my flair is lying right now...ugh I cannot bring myself to change it). Right now the scale says 123 (it's 8:20pm). This morning it said 121. Ugh, I need to be under 120. Preferably 115. PREFERABLY 110. I'm 5'4. 123 and 5'4 is NOT "chubby, thick, or chunky" but I SEE this is the mirror, I see cellulite and pouring over sloppy fat. I hate the distortion.

UGH I'M JUST SO UNSETTLED.

I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A NEGATIVE PRESENCE ON HERE WITH MY LAST FEW POSTS. I'm so sorry. I don't want to bring everyone down, I just don't want to be alone with all this.

Thank you.

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[Discussion] Magnesium citrate
/u/DrowsyDoll [5'11 | Big | Fat | Whale | F]
Created: Thu May 12 16:18:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j37ff/magnesium_citrate/
---
so i probally shuld have asked this before i chugged the bottle, but not thinking before acting is kinda my thing lol... what have your experiences been? iv used laxatives before, but i recently read about this and they say it gives you a really empty feeling, which i really need right now... i took a whole bottle of cherry, the equate brand frm walmart... then chugged water... im home. and staying home till this shit storm passes (pun intended. lol)... but how long does it take to take an effect?

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[Other] Exams done on Saturday!
/u/definitelynotbirw [5'2" | 121 | 21.92 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 16:05:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j35ct/exams_done_on_saturday/
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I've been in a bad state these past two weeks with exams going on. When I get stressed I eat more than usual, still within maintenance, by the grace of god. I'm coming down from that really stressful feel, so my appetite is already decreasing and I'm really excited that I'll be able to restrict more heavily. I won't have to worry about needing to concentrate or study effectively for the next few weeks. I can just restrict and fast and float along in the fuzzy headed stupor I love so much. I'm starting a five day fast after my exam on Saturday and I'm so happy.

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[Goal] 5 day fast complete!
/u/Pipoen [5'9"| 139.3 | 20.6 | =^u^=]
Created: Thu May 12 15:17:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j2xf8/5_day_fast_complete/
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I finished my fast. Thank you all for your awesome words of wisdom!

I lost 7 lbs, but expect to gain a little back. I'll be going back to 500-700 a day until mid July and reassess then. Glad to be back on the grind!

See you guys in the food logs. I can beat 29 days binge free!

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[Tip] Corseting?
/u/clurrance [5'6" | 114 | 18.5 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 13:58:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j2jh6/corseting/
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I had to buy a nice corset for a performance in a few weeks. I'm not into the super super tiny waist thing so I've never been interested in having one, but it's very motivating! I've been breaking it in a few hours each day. I don't want to eat while I'm wearing it, it gives me amazing posture, and the slow cinching down of the waist is exciting!
Only thing is I definitely don't have boobs anymore (from D cup to A cup) so that's only downside for it.
Has anyone else done corseting?

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[Goal] Weak collarbone game, but I'm feeling happy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 12 13:54:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j2isr/weak_collarbone_game_but_im_feeling_happy/
---
http://imgur.com/RKXgDDl

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[Help] Last Minute Help - Should I Ask My Dr About Appetite Suppressants?
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 12 13:09:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j2b55/last_minute_help_should_i_ask_my_dr_about/
---
I have a doctor's appointment in an hour - lately my binging and purging has been out of control and I feel like I'm spiralling. However, I'm not overweight. My doctor is really nice and understanding, so I feel like she'll want to help me, but I'm worried that asking about it and telling her my problems will open up a can of worms I just really don't want if she isn't willing to prescribe me anything. Has anyone else not overweight had success getting appetite suppressants from their doctor?

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[Tip] Filling, yummy dish for 35cal!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 13:06:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j2an6/filling_yummy_dish_for_35cal/
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Snow peas (in pod, about 20) and soy sauce. Microwave, and wallah! So yummy and filling!

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[Rant/Rave] I'm not open about my ED behaviors. The guy I'm dating made me feel comfortable enough to share. You know what happened when I told him?
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Thu May 12 12:32:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j24lg/im_not_open_about_my_ed_behaviors_the_guy_im/
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Not only was he super kind and understanding, but Jesus Christmas, would you believe it? He also binges and restricts (his words, not mine). We are so similar, it's ridiculous.

We had been talking about food recently and he said he wanted to ask me specific questions out of curiosity, but refrained because he was worried about getting the questions asked back at him and say something telling.

I don't think this is going to be an issue where we enable one another, but it was so nice to share and get empathy in return. We're both so damaged and yet we appreciate one another more because of our faults. This guy is perfect.

---

[Other] Panty/Bra Pics - maybe I will stop gaining weight if I embarrass myself with these.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 11:45:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j1w57/pantybra_pics_maybe_i_will_stop_gaining_weight_if/
---
https://imgur.com/a/Aaz87

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[Rant/Rave] I'm still going to be disgusting once I'm thin
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 10:54:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j1mzm/im_still_going_to_be_disgusting_once_im_thin/
---
Even after I'm skinny I'm still going to have self harm scars. I'm still going to have stretch marks (I used to be so proud that I didn't have them. I was never overweight, why the fuck did stretch marks appear overnight?) I'm still going to be ugly and worthless. Cocoa butter might help with the scars and stretch marks but it won't put a dent in the ugly and worthless.

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[Tip] Intense cardio after EC stack - never again!
/u/udon0tnome [5'2 | 130lbs | 24.63 | -32lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 12 10:48:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j1lxg/intense_cardio_after_ec_stack_never_again/
---
I usually do my EC stack after I run in the morning... But today my schedule was wonky and I ran after I took my kiddos to school instead of before. But I didn't change the timing of my EC stack. And... Let's just say that the first 2.5 miles were great (and fast!) and then it all went to hell. My heart rate shot up to 220 (typically I stay around 160-170 while running) and I felt like I was going to pass out. I actually laid down for a few minutes to try to get everything back to normal. I was able to jog home (at a MUCH slower pace) and my HR stayed under 190. But that was scary as fuck and I won't be doing it again!

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[Discussion] How can your SO help you with your disorder without stalling your progress?
/u/bearsandcrows
Created: Thu May 12 10:37:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j1k2z/how_can_your_so_help_you_with_your_disorder/
---
SO always knew I have body image issues. I don't think he knew the extent until last night when he rubbed my arms and commented on their scalyness, and I flew off the handle at him for always commenting on my body. I believe him when he says he doesn't mean any harm by it, and in fact is worried that I might be stressed out because I get eczema and headaches and stomach aches when I'm super stressed. He said one look at my face and he realized he didn't have to say anything and that I was already plenty aware of it. That's when I broke down and told him that even if he doesn't mean anything by it, I often feel like the way someone feels going to school with a big zit on their face, and trying very hard to just be normal and ignore it, even though you're like hyper aware of it. And then somebody straight up pokes it or comments on it and it pretty much makes you want to hide forever. And I said the only difference is that it's my whole body. And I just broke down and cried and generally felt like a fucked up person with a broken brain (which I feel like pretty often).

My biggest desire is for someone to touch me and hug me and rub my arms, and to be able to interpret all those touches as loving and totally without critique. But I'm not ready to let go of my Fitbit, stop weighing myself, or stop counting calories. I'm thinking of turning my scale from lbs to kg just so I can be slightly more removed from the number (even if it's only temporary). My SO asked how he could help me and I said I had to think about it. I am thinking of telling him my goal weights (the lowest GW is my mom's current weight (115), so I know it's not an unhealthy weight), and asking him to not let me go below it. Or to reassess when I reach 120, then 118, to see if I want to go lower.

Are there any other things that your SO does/can do to help you keep your sanity while not just making you eat more?

---

[Other] My progress isn't going so well
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu May 12 10:33:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j1jbe/my_progress_isnt_going_so_well/
---
I just had my local snackbar guy tell me I could pay the rest next time because he sees me there often. Ouch.

---

[Discussion] I just want to thank my proffession for always inspiring my habits.
/u/MulattoKhaleesi
Created: Thu May 12 10:25:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j1i0r/i_just_want_to_thank_my_proffession_for_always/
---
I'm a first time poster (and on mobile so sorry about not having flair) but today I am just feeling overwhelming love for my job because it is so inspiring.




I am professional ballroom teacher/dancer. It's my dream job. Not only am I allowed to work out numerous times a day, not have to eat, but all of the teachers are beautiful, boys and girls. I don't have to eat if I don't want to, infact even at home it helps me remember two big things:



1. No one wants a fat teacher.


2. As dancers we need to be light and flexible.




I am a restricter. I don't binge or purge (havent in 6 years) but these two things alone help me with my decisions when it comes to food when i'm home alone. Its such a blessing.






And I also get satisfation by putting my students through rigerous practice so not only are they getting better, they're loosing weight too! Its like a win/win. They are happy and doing something new, improving their craft, and seeing them so happy is such a joy for me.




Anyone else have a motivating job, or are appreciative of something job related that inspires your habits?

---

[Discussion] People will like me more if I'm skinnier, right?
/u/wishfulthinkings [5'4" | 133.2 | 23.31 | -40.8]
Created: Thu May 12 10:20:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j1h33/people_will_like_me_more_if_im_skinnier_right/
---
I'm not interesting. People generally don't gravitate towards me. I'm never the center of attention. I'm also never part of the group because I'm partially deaf and I can't follow what's going on. I don't get cultural references because I've been HoH (hard of hearing) my whole life. I feel so lonely but I can't stand people sometimes because I don't get them. I'm stuck in the mind set that I'll be more likeable if I'm skinnier. I failed at another group thing at work yesterday. So today I become smaller. Maybe one day I'll disappear since that seems the purpose of my life.

And before you ask, I don't know ASL. My mother refused that education to me growing up, hoping I'd adapt to the hearing world. I'm learning but it seems so hopeless and far away.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu May 12 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j1dup/daily_food_diary_may_12_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 12, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] This little chart is starting to get to me
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Thu May 12 09:12:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j14y1/this_little_chart_is_starting_to_get_to_me/
---
This is the chart that spark people shows when I go to track my weight. It shows my current weight, how much I have lost, and that infuriation orange line.

http://imgur.com/dAYTLij

That orange line is how my weight should be progressing. The line is what they say should be happening if I was eating their 1200-1500 calorie diet.

Here I am eating 600 calories per day, and that line is still beating me. How is it beating me? Its so frustrating, and I feel like I am starting to go crazy.

---

[Intro] intro
/u/thingspeople
Created: Thu May 12 08:56:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j126g/intro/
---
Hello

I'm O

I've been lurking for about a month
I've lost about ten pounds from light restriction, exercise, and walking long distances.

I am a dancer

My desires for my body image swing between skinny fit and what we might call bonespo

I am 5'5" and currently 123 lbs
My goal is 111
I LOVE that number

I am posting this on my way to workout and fasting for the whole day because I miss that empty, vibrating, powerful feeling

I love you all. I really enjoyed the mangas that Noroeste posted a while back

How do I update my flair?

---

[Discussion] When to buy new clothing?
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 111 | 20.21 | -31 | F |]
Created: Thu May 12 07:59:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j0srm/when_to_buy_new_clothing/
---
I have dropped a decent amount of weight very quickly, and none of my clothes fit properly anymore (especially pants, they are just way too big and baggy).

I was at the mall, looking at cute clothes, but couldn't bring myself to buy anything thinking it was just going to happen again, and be another waste of money.

What do you do? Wear the baggy clothes for a while, and buy clothes once you're closer to your GW/UGW? I don't see myself maintaining any time soon, so hopefully the weight and size keeps dropping.

Thanks for the advice, sorry for rambling

---

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support May 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu May 12 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j0byv/weekly_emotional_support_may_12_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Goal] Finally met my first goal!
/u/perfectionistlemon [165 cm | 53.9 kg | 19.8 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 05:18:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j06nt/finally_met_my_first_goal/
---
Weighed myself this morning... not only am I under 55 kg but I am 53.9! Granted, most of what I lost is probably water weight, but I am so so so happy... :) my BMI is now under 20 too. 50 kg is next, here I come!

---

[Discussion] What are your favorite low cal foods?
/u/Is-this-life-0_0 [5'5 | 92 | 15.3 | 23|]
Created: Thu May 12 04:58:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4j04ij/what_are_your_favorite_low_cal_foods/
---
Hey guys,

I am planning on going grocery shopping soon to build a small low cal food stash in my bed room. I want to have a large stash of low cal / zero cal drinks and foods.

That is my goal. I am looking for ideas that do not require refrigeration or won't expire quickly.

For example stuff like : powders, nuts, candies, meats etc.

Do you guys have any favorites? I don't really have any preferences. Just don't know what to look for lol.

---

[Rant/Rave] I feel so frustrated and utterly worthless.....
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Thu May 12 04:01:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4izymu/i_feel_so_frustrated_and_utterly_worthless/
---
I get so angry with myself...I've been at a complete stand still for MONTHS, I loose 1-2kg and then gain it all back in the same week. I constantly fuck up, and then punish myself with food, so I feel even more disgusting....yay! logic!

Why is it so damned hard??? What about not stuffing my face is difficult? And I really can't figure out any other reason for my over eating then lack of disciplin...weak

I tried to be "normal" and restrict to 1200kcal which is under my TDEE, but nothing happened for a week or two I got frustrated and gorged (again my logic is flawless).

I need to restrict more, simply to lose faster so I don't get so damn frustrated and give up. My goal is 800 kcal a day, absolute max 1000. That should according to losertown.org's calculator put me at my first target (70kg) on the last of June....


I just feel defeated at to moment....like I'm doomed to roam this earth the fat pig that I am...


I hope you guys are having a better day then me! And sorry for the random rant

---

[Rant/Rave] The dangers of trying to be economic
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11½ | 138.2 | 18.93 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 02:14:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4izogx/the_dangers_of_trying_to_be_economic/
---
I just did some massive grocery shopping (we're a family of 3) and I also bought 3 boxes of protein bars.. Having all that food around the house is scary :( but I do save plenty of money by buying it in big bundles.

Just a small rant, and a prayer that I will behave.

---

[Discussion] Hear me out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 12 01:26:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4izjxl/hear_me_out/
---
[deleted]

---

[Tip] Keep something in your house you know the exact weight of
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Thu May 12 00:46:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4izfnu/keep_something_in_your_house_you_know_the_exact/
---
2 lb bag of rice, a weight, etc

Use it if you think your scale is wrong to double check it. It'll save your sanity.

---

[Other] I'm posting this to hold myself accountable if I ever screw up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 12 00:42:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4izfan/im_posting_this_to_hold_myself_accountable_if_i/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] I bought some food that I really want to eat, but I just can't do it.
/u/ctrl_alt_mermaid
Created: Thu May 12 00:37:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4izeqz/i_bought_some_food_that_i_really_want_to_eat_but/
---
I bought a box of Carmen's single serve gourmet porridge sachets. It's the berry and coconut flavour and I'm dying to taste it because it looks so good but each packet is 150 calories plus I'm supposed to add 2/3 cup milk but I just can't bring myself to eating any because I don't want to eat that many calories in one hit. This box (which I have opened so I could smell them) has been sitting in my cupboard for 2 freaking weeks now. I walk past every now and then and consider eating a pack but I can't. Fuck. I actually want it but I just can't do it. This is so frustrating.

---

[Other] It's All Relative
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 12 00:20:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4izcz5/its_all_relative/
---
My ex, in reference to not being very attracted to be physically when we first met:

"Well you were a lot less healthy back then!"

I got to where I am by fasting five days a week and binging and purging.

Healthy is relative, I guess.

---

[Rant/Rave] Oh man I feel so gross.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Wed May 11 22:52:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iz38z/oh_man_i_feel_so_gross/
---
So I went out with my two best friends tonight. I had 3 cocktails, 1.5 slices of pizza and some fries. This is all in addition to the 524 calories of safe food I already had. I'd estimate today's grand total to be 1500, which is less than my TDEE but 3x more than I'm used to eating. Really, it wasn't large quantities, but I had been restricting for 23 days straight so you can only imagine the shock my body is in right now. Holy hell. Someone please remind me that the next time I have something social planned, I increase my calories slightly for a few days beforehand so my body doesn't fucking freak out. I can still feel my hip bones but my ribs don't look nearly as bony as they usually do. I know this will go away within a day but I'm kinda sad that I won't be going to sleep tonight feeling bony.

Anyways, there is one silver lining. I've been extremely "clogged up" for ~5 days now. If eating and drinking tonight doesn't help me, then I honestly don't know what will. I was going to allow myself to eat up to 800 calories tomorrow, Friday and Saturday because of my horse show but I think I'm going to stick to 500 a day like usual to make up for the disgusting calories I ate and drank tonight. I feel horribly guilty. Sigh. Have a good night guys <3

---

[Rant/Rave] SO says, "Let's go through a drive through."
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 11 22:45:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iz2ct/so_says_lets_go_through_a_drive_through/
---
Why didn't I put up more of a fight?! Oh god and she stayed around and I couldn't purge and I'm freaking out. I have to fast and exercise tomorrow. I luckily have lab work coming up for a health issue and she doesn't know I don't need to fast for it.

---

[Rant/Rave] I hate striving for 'recovered'/'normalized' eating habits but still have the disordered mental obsessions....
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 11 22:43:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iz26j/i_hate_striving_for_recoverednormalized_eating/
---
It's like...if I'm eating and maintaining/mildly gaining and still having the disordered thoughts....why don't I just **not** eat and still have the disordered thoughts since then I won't be/feel disgusting AND have disordered thoughts.



But then every time I follow this "simple" series of revelations and logic and I decide to start restricting again for "control" ...I fucking lose my mind.

My mind is just fucking lost either way :'D

But idk, I'm living week to week right now. I'm trying OVERALL to not completely give into the urge to restrict because I CAN'T DO the binge/restrict/binge/restrict rinse repeat...it makes my entire life go up in flames. But today, and this week, I'm feeling weak. I'm giving in.

I think I'm gonna do a coffee/water fast tomorrow...for no other reason than to just prove to myself that I still can.

Oh, ED logic. So convoluted, so back and forth, so confusing. And yet I sigh a big happy sigh of relief thinking of this planned fast tomorrow and how relaxing it'll be for food to not even be an option. No panic, no bloating, no counting, no choices, no chances. But...hunger pangs? Temptations? If I fail at this fast, I feel like I'm gonna lose my shit since the fast is about proving to myself that I can still fast.

Idk,whoa,idek. I feel like I'm two brains right now.

Thanks for reading.

sidenote: also, my scale hasn't changed, but I feel like I can't FEEL my bones as much when my hands glide over them throughout the day and it sends me into a disgusted panic. Like, I haven't gained any weight while doing this "fix your eating by eating healthy" thing but since I'm not starving, my perception of my size has mentally changed. Dude, it's such a fucking entrapment, this disorder.

---

[Discussion] How do you remind yourself not to binge?
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Wed May 11 20:54:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iynv0/how_do_you_remind_yourself_not_to_binge/
---
Seriously, I can go days without eating and be absolutely fine and then someone forces me to eat out of concern and I'll have no choice but then I'll start eating and I won't stop I'll just eat everything in sight. I absolutely hate it because I know I'm binging and I know I'm going to feel awful and I know I'm going to hate myself after but I don't stop because I can't. My hands feel like they are literally autonomous and I can't do anything to control them. I have done things to stop myself from starting. I've put up a "I have gone __ days without binging" sign in my room where I can very clearly see and remind myself, and next to it I've put up a "Rewards" list for the number of days I've gone without binging. I've weighed myself everyday to remind myself of the horrible huge numbers on the scale. I'm trying everything I can but goddamn when I start I can't stop.

I don't know if it's a common problem among people like us. I was thinking of buying something like a bracelet or whatever to remind myself, but I don't know how well that would work. Does anyone go through something like this and have any tips? Restricting is never a problem but stopping my binge is so mission. It's like there is no in between :c

---

[Intro] [RE]Introduction.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 11 20:33:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iykti/reintroduction/
---
[deleted]

---

Thankful for tofu noodles
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 11 20:23:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iyjiw/thankful_for_tofu_noodles/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Do I have an eating disorder? Categorization and information.
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | 104.5 | 18.65 | -37.5 | Female]
Created: Wed May 11 20:05:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iyguj/do_i_have_an_eating_disorder_categorization_and/
---
Hi there. My name is Ell@e or NostalgicSong and I have been a member of r/proed on and off since October/November 2015.

I never considered myself to completely have an eating disorder...until more recently. I keep thinking I am just extreme in my diet because I want to get model thin. I keep thinking once I reach my goal I will learn how to maintain on a healthy amount of food and eat regularly again.

...I still don't know what will happen after battling with restriction and binging for months and months. I am still trying to reach that UGW that seems just barely out of my grasp. I just allow myself to plateau and plateau, saying "this time I can do it!" over and over while repeating the same pattern again and again.

...I don't see how I will overcome this but I will continue to try because I must weigh less than 99 lbs. and I mustn't get fat from binging and I must learn how to maintain eventually. Right?

I don't want to hurt myself. I am not clinically depressed. I have always thought I had body dysmorphia, but I never thought I had an actual ED. Right? Right?

Wrong.

I had to know for sure if I classified with an ED. EDNOS and OSFED seemed too general. Finally, I researched more into the categories and found my problem defined...

Atypical anorexia subtype B/P.

There was an category for my experiences. I thought I couldn't be defined anorexic because I binged on high calories. I thought I couldn't be defined as bulimic because I didn't B/P very often or felt the compulsion to do it every time. But there is a category that defines my current experience with food.

Yes, I currently do have an ED. But I don't want to admit I have a problem. I do though.

I identify too closely to many symptoms of several EDs. No, I don't see it ending any time soon. But I do hope there is an end to this. Because I don't want to die and I don't want to hurt myself. I want to be skinny AND healthy. Some day.


If you want to read more about the OSFED and Atypical categories, here is the link.


http://www.eatingdisorders.org.au/eating-disorders/what-is-an-eating-disorder/classifying-eating-disorders/dsm-5


Disclaimer: I do not have a PHD and my self-diagnosis could be wrong, furthermore, not all EDs have a specific category because everyone is slightly different.

---

[Help] HELP. I thought I was sneaker than I am..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 11 18:15:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iy07q/help_i_thought_i_was_sneaker_than_i_am/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] I'm so scared for tomorrow, it's ridiculous
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed May 11 18:12:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ixzse/im_so_scared_for_tomorrow_its_ridiculous/
---
I teach English as a second language in a one on one situation. It's very much casual, and it's through a company. The families of the corporation get 90 hours over the year for lessons. The woman i'm meeting is pretty set on her English skills, and a lot of the time now, we read together or watch a show, or just chat, since I'm a perk to them, and essentially free.

But she always has really high calorie snacks out, and I eat them all. Because she offers them like 5 times. I'll say no the first 4 times and then break on the fifth, or the sixth. They don't go away, they sit on the table the whole night. I've said "oh, im on a diet right now" (im not skinny enough for people to tell me not to lose more weight), and she'll joke about it, and nothing happens. Because when normal people are on a diet, they can tell themselves no. But those fucking cookies whisper to me until I break. And then I can't just have one, of course not. :( I love chatting with her, seeing her kids and having a good time in general, but I broke down in tears with my SO tonight just *thinking* about having to go tomorrow, because i'm terrified of eating :/

---

[Goal] [GOAL] Been doing really well recently and I'm proud of myself :)
/u/prettyvac4nt [5' | 105lb | 21.6 | -18lb | F]
Created: Wed May 11 16:14:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ixgxn/goal_been_doing_really_well_recently_and_im_proud/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/54a5b513113e4655bbc67065f6a8e216?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=4903d0338f41ccd6728f370a51f3ca26

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[Discussion] What causes you to slip up?
/u/originalRedBull [5'5 | 108| 18.18| GW 88 | F]
Created: Wed May 11 15:29:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ix97t/what_causes_you_to_slip_up/
---
So I know this could be potentially triggering, but I've been thinking on this lately because ever since Feb/March I've been really really screwing up. Like I'll be fine for a week or maybe a few days, then binge horribly, and completely ruin everything I've worked on. I'm trying to pinpoint the things that could/have set me off so that I can make a point to avoid them and/or find distractions.

*Weighing myself when I'm PMSing (that bloat tho)

*Weighing myself right after using laxatives (again- that bloat)

*Weighing myself right after a binge (obviously)

*Smoking without taking the EC stack or after I've been fasting

*Rewarding myself with a meal (you AREN'T a DOG, damn it)

*Giving up after I feel like I've "messed up" the day with too many calories

*Getting discouraged after a single bad weight (I can fluctuate 1-2lbs/day)

*Being around people too much (stress + constant food= slip ups)

*The 1-2 hours after working out --> worse hunger pangs

Idk, what do you guys think? How do you keep yourselves from messing up?

---

[Other] Shoutout to everyone else here who is depressed...
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 109.8 | 18.49 | F]
Created: Wed May 11 14:40:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ix0m5/shoutout_to_everyone_else_here_who_is_depressed/
---
I don't really know what to write or have the energy to write it... but if you're here staring at your screen and not really reading, wanting to curl up in a ball and cry or sleep for days, well... I am too.

So hey. Hope your day gets better. Wish I could give you a hug. I need one too.

---

[Goal] this is the first time this has happened!
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Wed May 11 14:19:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iwwrm/this_is_the_first_time_this_has_happened/
---
http://i.imgur.com/OlSPWwr.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] FML I hate finals
/u/rustyrustshackleford [5'5" | CW: 95 | LW: 85 | GW: 80 | -40 | F]
Created: Wed May 11 12:24:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iwbs9/fml_i_hate_finals/
---
I was really trying to stop bingeing and purging this month, but I have been so stressed out by finals and final projects that I have binged and purged almost every day. I used to lose weight from b/p, but I think because my opportunities to purge are more limited by living in a dorm, I am not able to rinse as thoroughly which results in me gaining weight. I finally bought a new scale after mine broke, and when I weighed this morning I was 100 exactly. I want to die, I haven't been this heavy since I got out of treatment, except it's not due to someone else forcing food down my throat, it's me being a fatass!

So I am stopping b/p once and for all--for real this time. And I am only consuming liquids between now and when I go home on Saturday. I'll net 500/day because I doubt I can get away with a real fast since I need to think for my exams. I feel really dumb for posting about what a whale I am, but I am so upset by this and no one IRL would be able to understand. So thank you guys for listening, and have a good day :)

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[Discussion] Zero calorie food?
/u/SystemFailure101
Created: Wed May 11 11:20:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iw06j/zero_calorie_food/
---
Hey all. I'm a long time lurker, first time poster (using alien blue app so I can't flair). I'm on a 200 calorie diet, 30 of which are multivitamins. What do you all think of zero calorie foods? Are they real? I'd love to hear what works for you!

---

[Help] Low-calorie, high-fiber food suggestions?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Wed May 11 10:52:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ivv2n/lowcalorie_highfiber_food_suggestions/
---
I've got fiber powder to help round out my intake, but am looking to incorporate more of it in the foods I eat. Any sub-200 calorie snacks/meals that have a high fiber content?

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[Rant/Rave] Slip ups
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 11 10:33:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ivror/slip_ups/
---
I've been pretty good for a few weeks, I don't know how long honestly, but these last two days I've had slip ups, 1200-1500 kcal days. It's been freaking me out and no one IRL says anything other than "So? You shouldn't eat so little anyways." Which doesn't help but makes me feel bad for the whole ED thing. I've also been avoiding exercise because I'm a lazy sow. Ugh, I just needed to rant. Gonna go make some waist size ribbons for my wrist, remind me to restrict and exercise.

---

[Other] Let your fat just blow away in the wind.
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 11 10:05:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ivmrx/let_your_fat_just_blow_away_in_the_wind/
---
Just thought I'd share a line from an article about where fat goes and the high percentage of it that turns into CO2.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed May 11 10:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ivm7y/daily_food_diary_may_11_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 11, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] Getting away with fasting...
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Wed May 11 09:49:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ivjuj/getting_away_with_fasting/
---
*cant flair bc on mobile, sorry!*

Does anyone have any tips/advice on getting away with fasting/really restricting when everyone around you is checking to make sure you're eating???

I really want to do a 48-hour fast but I know my family/boyfriend are gonna be keeping a close eye on me like usual. Any suggestions?

Also I've never really gotten to do a full 48-hour fast before...how exactly do I go about it? Will tea be okay and is there ways to go about it without me passing out or anything from weakness?

Thank you loves.

---

[Help] BMR? Why am I only now calculating this?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Wed May 11 09:01:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ivb9e/bmr_why_am_i_only_now_calculating_this/
---
So, per the Julian Michaels website, the formula goes like this:

655 + (4.3 x weight in pounds) + (4.7 x height in inches) - (4.7 x age in years)

Mine came out to naturally burning around 1,300cal a day.

This seems very off to me.

That'd be like, a negative of 1,000 cal a day if I'm restricting correctly.

Age - 20
Weight - 118lbs
Height - 61inches

Tell me if I did math wrong. Wouldn't surprise me because I'm horrid at it haha

---

[Tip] Tip: High Waisted Jeans
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed May 11 08:48:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iv92v/tip_high_waisted_jeans/
---
Hello lovelies! I haven't posted in a while, so I decided to post a tip.

High waisted pants.

First of all, they are relatively stiff and have very little give, making it possible to eat - but you won't eat *too* much. If you eat too much, your stomach expands making it uncomfortable. Plus, the fact that it's pressing down on your stomach makes you less hungry.

- Matches x

P.S., I'm wearing [these](https://www.ae.com/women-aeo-super-hi-rise-jegging-darkness-falls/web/s-prod/3435_9559_413?cm=sUS-cUSD&catId=cat7720327) right now :)

---

[Discussion] Shoelace tied tight around the belly?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Wed May 11 08:05:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iv20a/shoelace_tied_tight_around_the_belly/
---
I tried this last night: sucked in my stomach to the fullest, tied a shoelace tightly around my waist (belly area) and then exhaled. It was so fkin uncomfortable because I had just eaten and I was thinking... i could just not eat until it's comfortable to wear this.

My stomach does go very flat when I don't eat for over 12 hours, so I was waiting for that, but then I was afraid of the possibility of screwing something up in there. Like, the food I ate not digesting properly, or not being able to (tmi) do poo stuff if I wear it the whole day.

What do you think? Would it be dangerous? I just really see this working, but am afraid it'll mess my stomach (I have very good metabolism and I don't want to ruin that for me).

---

[Other] People are noticing my weight loss and it's sort of funny
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed May 11 07:41:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iuy76/people_are_noticing_my_weight_loss_and_its_sort/
---
Sorry, on mobile can't flair.
When I was at work last night, so many people asked me if I lost a lot of weight. Head chef asked me 15? 20? And I usually shrug and say I don't pay too much attention. It's nice that hey notice (and I can't lol) but at the same time, I have a lot more to go before my first big GW. My scale says I've lost about 10lbs since early March, but who even knows anymore since I had to switch. I wonder what they'll do when I'm not 152 lbs at 5'4.4", but rather 130 and then 120 and then ????

---

[Discussion] Anyone got a Jawbone? I want friends :) (PS they are £50 off on UK Amazon)
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Wed May 11 07:27:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iuw2p/anyone_got_a_jawbone_i_want_friends_ps_they_are/
---
I figure it won't hurt to see other people on the app thing!

If you're on it, let me know and I can pm you my email address to add!

I only got it today, so I'm very much a beginner and haven't 100% worked out how it works.

---

[Help] Getting past the shakes and the nausea
/u/bitten-and-bleeding [5"7 | CW 128.5 | GW 110]
Created: Wed May 11 07:04:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iussf/getting_past_the_shakes_and_the_nausea/
---
How do you get past this? I feel queasy, have the shakes, cold sweat, my body is just telling me I NEED to eat. I don't know what to do, I'm 12 hrs into a fast and I don't want to give in and binge.

Please help, I've been up all night trying to stay sane.

---

[Goal] Went shopping and have safe food again. Thank god!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Wed May 11 06:35:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iuotg/went_shopping_and_have_safe_food_again_thank_god/
---
Picked up a little thing of snow peas, thing of cantaloupe. Got some baby pickles, and applesauce. Got lots of sparkling water (thank the heavens) and some really yummy cold brew coffee made with almond milk, and it is quite good!

I felt so out of control the last almost week because I was out of my food, and out of my own money, and I'm not going to ask my boyfriend to buy specific groceries for me before grocery day when there is plenty in the house. That's a little too spoiled.. lol

But yay to being back on track!

---

[Discussion] Other people overestimating the importance of food. Anyone else experienced this?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 | 27/F | SW: >230lbs - CW: 95lbs - GW: 90lbs OR 95lbs+muscle]
Created: Wed May 11 05:22:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iufw5/other_people_overestimating_the_importance_of/
---
This is sort of a carry on from my [previous post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ir4oh/i_feel_too_weak_to_function_i_havnt_eaten_since/), but slightly different.

People overestimating the importance of food, the function of food, and how well food makes you function - and overestimating how 'badly' no food makes you function.

---

Just a an example from my own life:

Go back a few months - My father is worried about my intake, as while he doesn't see my diet, he's seen my rapid weight loss and thinks I look ill. I tell him I'm eating fine (*lie*) and he has no reason to worry. He doesn't believe me. He offers to get me a gym membership, which I really wanted, on the promise that I eat more. I tell him sure (*lie*.. hate how I'm fine lying to people I love most, but this is me now), but he has no reason to worry anyway. He gets me the gym membership AND a personal trainer. He comes with me to my first session with my trainer to make sure I'm okay. I do everything the trainer asks and perform well at all the tasks.

At the end of the session, my father talks to her about my eating (*sigh*). My personal trainer reassures him that if I weren't eating properly, I would have probably have passed out by now, and would have needed 'a very good breakfast to perform that well at all'. **However**, that day at the gym, I actually hadn't eaten a thing for three days, and had been restricting to 300 cals a day for two days before *that*, and fasted for two days before that (thank god for logs!). Yet my personal trainer was very sure that if I hadn't eaten well - going as far as to say even just a 'small breakfast' would have meant I had trouble - then I wouldn't have been able to perform the tasks that well. Which I did. Or even fainted. Which I didn't come close to doing.

My father has been to the gym with me a few times since. He is now very sure I am eating fine, because I am performing better and better and getting stronger and stronger all the time.. I am still fasting 3x a week most weeks, restricting the rest of the time, besides one day a week which is a planned binge.

Moreover, people are complimenting my muscle growth - another reason for them to be sure I am 'eating well' or even 'eating a lot'. It's so easy to lie to people now and tell them, I am eating SUCH a lot, look at my muscles! Nope, still fasting, still restricting, bar one day a week. My muscles have grown exceptionally despite constant, steep deficit (I am making sure what I do eat is high protein, though). Could I have had more gains if I ate more? Could I be performing better at weights if I ate more, and be stronger by now? Oh I'm sure.. but that's neither here nor there. I am still seeing exceptional gains in both hypertrophy and strength that are impressing people (at least non-experts) after a relatively short amount of time, even from what's considered overall 'severe restriction', even from starting from a low weight and low body fat %

Eating a lot has had no part in this. Food has had very little importance (even if I accept I may have had better progress if I ate more, I have still had more than enough progress for other people to think it's impossible that I am restricting).

---

Do you have any other experiences/stories where people around you have completely overestimated the importance of food? Regarding a certain task, or situation? When really, you know the truth, even if you can't say it?

The obsession with eating food, their mistake in thinking food is THAT important, is what makes people very easy for us to lie to.

---

[Discussion] Having no one to talk to about my ED without making them worry sucks.
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Wed May 11 04:19:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iu9a0/having_no_one_to_talk_to_about_my_ed_without/
---
I feel so alone in this sometimes. I just want to talk about it and be excited about fasting for two days or eating below 300 cals or whatever and not have someone worry about me.

If you guys need someone to talk to, feel free to PM :) I have kik, WhatsApp, telegram, etc if you don't feel like talking on Reddit PM.

Sorry no flair, on mobile.

---

[Other] Usually I just lurk, but I found finally these at a store tonight, and I'm really excited to try them!
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: fat af | BMI: fat | GW: 115lb/52kg | F22]
Created: Wed May 11 03:37:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iu59g/usually_i_just_lurk_but_i_found_finally_these_at/
---
http://imgur.com/opSoFnq

---

[Help] Day 1: Baby steps!
/u/qwertylooping [5'3.5" | 120?? | 21.42 | GW 115 | f]
Created: Wed May 11 03:14:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iu34j/day_1_baby_steps/
---
Sorry about the lack of flair, I only Reddit on mobile.

So yesterday I posted asking for advice transitioning back to restriction after developing a bingeing habit and I'd just like to update/stay accountable. (If anyone gets annoyed of these, please let me know & I'll stop!)

I planned on fasting till tomorrow but binged after coming home from a loooooong day (registration at 7am + midterms + coding till midnight do not a happy girl make), consisting of:
- 3 protein bars (270kcal each // 810 total)
- 4 thin mints (160 kcal // 970 total)
- 2 Korean fish sausages (100kcal // 1070 total)
- 1 can of chicken breast (250 kcal // 1320 total)
- 1 slice cheese (75 kcal // 1395 total)

I did purge, but I'm still proud of myself for staying at maintenance pre-purge. Considering the absolute craziness that went on last week (I hit an all-time high binge calorie count) this week is already starting out to be a huge improvement :')

Hoping to continue this trend. Tomorrow I'll try staying 700-1000 to ease myself back into restriction.

---

[Discussion] What do you guys think about having an 'achievements' thread?
/u/WorstCunt [donkey brain]
Created: Wed May 11 03:05:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iu2ag/what_do_you_guys_think_about_having_an/
---
I don't mean specifically ED related achievements (feel that covered by selfie/progress/food thread already) but more like something we are happy about that we've done/accomplished/happened for us.


It's really easy to be negative about everything and always shit on ourselves, so I wondered if other people were interested in having a thread where we can talk about things we are happy about. Especially since mine tend to me pretty minor and seem like nothing to shout about to other people.

---

[Rant/Rave] I have osteoporosis
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Tue May 10 23:29:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4itgzm/i_have_osteoporosis/
---
Well, I have osteoporosis. It's kind of sick that I view that as some kind of trophy. It's like validation that I have an actual problem since all my labs turn out fine.

I never even knew when I was the osteopenia stage...this was my first Dexa scan. It's is sick/crazy that I feel relieved...that I'm doing something right. It's about time--16 years of this at various weights, and I've always been mostly healthy with no alarming electrolyte imbalance, heart issues or anemia. But hey, cheers for having osteoporosis I guess.


My physician talked to me about fall prevention and fractures. I joked about the Life Alert button and being in a "Help, I've fallen and can't get up" commercial. Ha.

---

[Help] Need help lying to a doctor about food logs
/u/wearingmyfatpants [5'0" |119|23.2|41lbs|F]
Created: Tue May 10 22:47:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4itc88/need_help_lying_to_a_doctor_about_food_logs/
---
So, I have never let on to any doctors that I have an ED. And none have suspected. But I have a team of great doctors that treat me for tons of other problems.

One is my gastroenterologist. He is treating me for abdominal pains, and has told me it sounds like I have something called Functional Gut Syndrome. Basically my intestines cramp when foods are being digested. Very painful, and debilitating while it's happening.

So my problem is that Dr wants me to keep a food and symptoms log. Which is a huge problem....if I did it honestly it would be instantly obvious that my diet is messed up....especially if I can manage to fast during the 2 weeks I'm supposed to log. And how do normal people even eat?!?!?! All I know how to do is binge or starve!!!!!

If I just LIE how much will that influence the accuracy of my treatment?!?!?!

I don't know what to do...help please :(

---

[Help] Need motivation to get out of a binge cycle
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 21:26:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4it1vq/need_motivation_to_get_out_of_a_binge_cycle/
---
If I want to lose 2lbs/week I need to stay under 700 cals a day... I've been eating so much lately and I feel so out of control and like I can't do it anymore!!! The last few months have been horrible in general and that is translating into my weight... Ugh please fix me

Will flair when off mobile

---

[Rant/Rave] Haven't lost any weight in 3 months (rant, help?)
/u/Will-Run-For-Food [5'3.5" | 138.2 | 24 | -70lb | F]
Created: Tue May 10 21:23:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4it1k7/havent_lost_any_weight_in_3_months_rant_help/
---
Hey, so I haven't actually been as active on here than I would really like to but I guess I don't live with internet.

So, yeah. I weigh 140.6 this morning after weeks (weeks!) of not counting calories, weighing food and buying fast food (ugh). I was down to 134 on the 9th of February and then had a huge birthday month (including my own) through-out March and just never got back on track... Guys, it's killing me. Nobody understands, I've told my best friend how frustrated I am and how angry I'm getting at myself and she'll reply with a sad face emoji or something. I've told my boyfriend and he laughs at me and tells me I barely eat anything anyway. I just keep eating and eating all day and it's driving me insane. I wanted to fast today but I got home at lunch time with my boyfriend and he made me eat 500cal of snack food. If I put the food down he would ask why I'm not eating it, that I'm wasting food if I don't eat it, ect. I have a limit of 500cal a day, I set that this morning and damn me to hell if I break a promise on the first day.

I hope to be 125lb by the 29th June and 115lb by August 3rd. My goal weight (for now) is 111lb, which means I'd have lost 100lb. Guys, what can I do? Help me. Please! I want to exercise but I've been sick for the last 2 weeks and still feel like I've got a head cold. I'm going grocery shopping tonight so I'm going to stock up on safe food and spend the rest of my money on something productive or useful.

I've promised myself I will fast 2-3 times a week and eat no more than 500cal the rest of the week (aiming for 300 or less on some days). I should add exercise in, what should I do? I've been really sick lately and I have Fibromyalgia (chronic pain and fatigue syndrome) so even running isn't an option. Anyone know of any good workout videos? I love JessicaSmithTV. Anyway, I'm rambling now. God help me if this weight doesn't move soon I will cut off a limb to make the scales number move.

---

[Help] To my SO
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 96 | 16.1 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 19:59:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ispko/to_my_so/
---
I know I need to tell my SO about my ED soon. I can't keep this secret from him much longer and he deserves to know. We tell each other everything and I feel horrible keeping this from him. I wish this was easier. Why is it easier to tell strangers online about your problems than telling the people closest to you?

I know I'm gonna have to dumb this down a lot but this is all the things I wish I could say:

I need to tell you something- I have an eating disorder. And I also need to apologize. Apologize for all the times I've snapped at you from being in a bad mood on days when I'm EC stacking/ heavily restricting. Apologize for my horrible brain fog and apathy. Apologize for destroying myself and killing myself slowly as you watch me slowly deteriorate. I know it saddens you to hear me call myself a greedy fat bitch and I hate scaring you when I fall over/ faint on bad days. I know you get scared when I bend/ stretch and you can see all my bones. And I know it terrifies you when you feel my heart quietly beating a pathetic 44 beats per minute. I'm sorry I can't shake the voice in my head that tells me I'll never be good enough or thin enough, and that perfection is just 5lbs away. But just like the mythical pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, I will never be able to find perfection 5lbs from now. Or even 15lbs from now. I'll still be too fat. It'll never be good enough. And it's not as simple as 'just eat.' The sane part of me knows I need to eat more but the disordered part of me sees what I eat and says, 'Are you crazy? You eat enough for ten people you disgusting pig!!!'

I know that this disorder is killing me slowly, and what's the worst about it is that I know it's also killing you. You love me and want to make sure I'm safe/okay/happy. I love you and want to be there for you, always. I wish this was easier. I wish I never developed an eating disorder in the first place. I wish I could just be normal and enjoy life and food but I can't. I'm just as scared as you are because I know my ED is out of control. I wish you could help me but I don't know how. I'm sorry.

---

[Discussion] Appetite suppressants
/u/SoPleaseStopExplain
Created: Tue May 10 18:38:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4isdoa/appetite_suppressants/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Travel sucks. Rant rant rant.
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 10 18:24:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4isbpb/travel_sucks_rant_rant_rant/
---
Well, ive clocked in at 116.8 for a week now... and the SO has returned and we are moving toward being in a good place again, which means no more stress related appetite loss... but still ive been good. Havent purged lately... havent really binged lately. Havent been actively restricting either, just kind of existing..

Only, today is a travel day. I woke up late and didnt have time to pack safe snacks. I had tomato juice on my first flight... ok... good enough... then ate my whole bag of chocolates. Wtf. I usually only eat like, one or 2 pieces a day. Theyre little dark chocolate balls like the size of a peanut m&m... but i ate the whole bag. And the stupid crackers. And then i didnt have time to grab a salad between flights and the only shop near my gate with no line was ChickfilA. Fucking hell... i ordered a sandwich and waffle fries and now i feel sick.

Fuck.

And when i land my mom is gonna tell me i am too skinny. And my fat sistet will say i look anorexic. I dont look anorexic. I dont look fat. Im just in between. And just because im not FAT doesnt mean i want to eat shit food with them. Or that what i ate today was okay. Fuck. This week is going to suck. I hate going to my home town. Fuck this.

:(

:(

And i forgot my bronchaid. Fuck.

---

[Discussion] Laxatives
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 10 18:07:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4is9bo/laxatives/
---
[deleted]

---

Just Another Day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 10 17:56:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4is7lq/just_another_day/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] I hate the grocery store
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Tue May 10 17:21:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4is26o/i_hate_the_grocery_store/
---
I am currently sitting in my car outside the grocery store, trying to calm down. I went in for a short very specific list of things:

- 0% greek yogurt

- 97% fat free hot dogs

- egg whites

- canned chicken

I spent over an hour in the store, wandering around. Picking things up that I wanted to eat. Nope can't eat that. Putting it back and moving on.

And then I got to the frozen food isle. And all I have wanted for weeks was chicken nuggets. But every single product is too high in fat with not enough protein and way too many calories. Even the fucking kids meals have 450 calories. I can't even eat a meal with the amount of calories intended for a small child!

So here I am, with all the things on my list as well as two individual serving chicken rice-a-roni cups (190 cal), a chicken nuggets and mac and cheese dinner (300 cal), a crispy chicken and mashed potatoes dinner (350 cal), and a lean cuisine spring rolls packet (190 cal per serving, 2 servings). I feel like I am tempting a binge by having these here. They are all salty and high in fat and delicious.

My hope is that since no single item is over 400 cal, if I eat these in addition to my normal 600 cal it won't be the end of the world, and it will keep me from running across the street to Wendy's and buying a bacon cheese burger meal.... Fingers crossed. But god do I feel anxious. I shouldn't feel like I'm about to cry over my groceries.

I just wish that, for once, I could go into the store and leave with just the things I planned to buy.....

---

[Goal] Still fat as a pig but am proud of the 8lb loss. Nowhere near my goal weight but feeling motivated. So happy my ribs are already starting to show.
/u/Frinada [5'4 | 141.8 | 24.3 | -6.2lbs | Woman]
Created: Tue May 10 17:18:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4is1m9/still_fat_as_a_pig_but_am_proud_of_the_8lb_loss/
---
https://imgur.com/a/Gv7k3

---

[Goal] So happy for these!
/u/fullyalivee [5'10"| 145lbs | 20.2 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 16:59:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iryqc/so_happy_for_these/
---
http://imgur.com/ycMzO4Y

---

Lost 8lbs in 2 weeks. I feel I've accomplished a lot but still feel disgusted by myself. I'll take this down later, blegh.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 10 16:57:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iryfa/lost_8lbs_in_2_weeks_i_feel_ive_accomplished_a/
---
https://imgur.com/jTbFzNk

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[Help] Slight tangent about MFP (Help if you were on my friend's list!)
/u/Twosi [5'4" | F]
Created: Tue May 10 16:23:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4irsx2/slight_tangent_about_mfp_help_if_you_were_on_my/
---
So, a few weeks back, MFP deactivated my account because they weren't terribly fond of my ED and thought my account was too dangerous to keep about... what with my sugar free jello cups and all. The account with username Twosi doesn't actually exist any longer. I have no way to log into it. That's fine and dandy (I just made a new one with a different user name which I add extra calories to), and you'd think that would be the end of it~ however!

I'm still getting push notifications on my phone and it's driving me mad! Worse than that, though I can't confirm (again, I can't log in) my aria that is shared between FOUR different people is still linked (linking my new fitbit blaze which is linked with the aria was actually the reason I was "banned" because it popped up my fitbit goals and weights.) Now for those of you that have an aria that you share with others, you know that the damn thing can be idiotic at best. Sometimes it'll recognize you as a guest, sometimes it'll say that you're a 6' tall male instead. Yes, there's a way to tell it that it's wrong but... I don't typically use it at all (the fact that I can step on it four different times and get four wildly different weight and bf readings makes that a no go), I have my own very lovely, much more accurate, and infuriatingly much cheaper scale in my bathroom, as well as my Wii U scale (surprisingly accurate) in my room.

The reason I know that they're still linked? You lovelies lol! You guys keep liking "my weight loss" which isn't my weight loss at all, but several people using it throughout the week! That would be fine except, it keeps TELLING MY PHONE that you're all so supportive (I love you guys!)

I've emailed their support but haven't heard anything back. I'm not terribly keen on factory resetting my phone, but the dings and notifications and so on are just a bit much. Until it's sorted, is there *any possible way* that I can ask those of you that have me, Twosi, on their MFP, that you delete me as a friend? I know it won't stop it completely, but until I hear back from them on how to deal with it, it's the best I can come up with.

Also, if you guys have any idea on how to get the aria unlinked to an account I can't get into, that would be awesome. The weird thing is that fitbit doesn't even have permissions to continue sending things to MFP. It's curious.

---

[Rant/Rave] Im so upset
/u/Jitterly [163.5 cm | 48kg | 17.96 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 16:14:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4irrcx/im_so_upset/
---
Sorry for no flair and typos, mobile.

I ended up 4 points shy of the grade I needed on my calc final for an A, and now Im devastated. I know it seems small, but I used to easily be a straight A student and now here I am struggling and getting Bs. Everyone in my life is so talented and amazing but I just feel like I have nothing going for me anymore. Im sitting here on the verge of tears because I think Im going to get a B in all of my classes this semester, and I feel like such a disappoitment to my parents, especially my dad. He's so good at math and Im so much like him, so I was hoping Id be like him, I really wanted to be. But I dont understand the material and I had to bullshit my way through most of the course work... I just dont have the confidence or stability to handle minor setbacks anymore. The smallest shit puts me over edge and Im so prone to crying and freak outs, I must be such a pain to deal with.
Im supposed to go to one of my favorite restaurants with my wonderful s/o tonight. Hilariously enough, I had been actually thinking of treating myself earlier since Im at my lowest weight thus far, but now I cant stop thinking, "Do you really think you deserve that?" so Im just going to skip lunch and get the veggies and hummus appetizer for dinner.
I think a lot of my eating issues stem from feeling like I have no redeeming qualities. Not eating makes me feel better in a way. Like the least a loser like myself could do is not take up space I dont deserve, I guess. Its like a form of self punishment.

Hope the semester went well for any other students out there. I know school stress on top of body image issues and disordered eating is really hell.

---

[Discussion] I'm staring a 24 hours fast, who is with me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 10 16:12:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4irr2w/im_staring_a_24_hours_fast_who_is_with_me/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 10 16:04:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4irptz/an_imperfect_body_reflects_an_imperfect_person/
---
This is the fucking issue with anorexia: Its difficult to define the limits and things rarely go as planned. This forty four kilos weight a ton in consciousness. Leg cramps and brain soak. Perfect place for a perfect woman body? And yet im not near of being happy..
I have started fasting each time more often and with fasting arrived emotional impairment and poor social functioning but what i REALLY need is to start playing with my limitations: I need to challenge once again.

---

[Rant/Rave] Next week marks 10 years since my first purge and that terrifies me.
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 10 15:52:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4irnr5/next_week_marks_10_years_since_my_first_purge_and/
---
Ten fucking years.

I can no longer purge after dental issues and xrays showing my jaw bone had started disintergrating. Yet I still binge, I still weigh in every morning, I still memorise everything I eat and I'm still not at my goal.

Bulimia is horrible. My weight goes up and down all the time. Now I can't purge it is just going up. I gained 6lbs in the last 2 weeks.

I also get married next week. Everyone is going to be looking at me. I am a nervous wreck. I am fat and ugly and nothing is gonna change.

Am I going to pass these habits to my daughter? Afterall... I learnt them from my Mum.

Oh fuck. Ten fucking years.

---

[Goal] Might finish my first 48 hour fast today!!
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Tue May 10 15:26:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4irjbm/might_finish_my_first_48_hour_fast_today/
---
I'm so happy, it's weird. I never imagined myself being happy for not eating for almost two days. Then again, I was a chubby kid who loved eating.

I haven't reached this far, ever. It wasn't that bad and since the whole oreo debacle, it pushed me to push myself this far. So at least the oreo thing made me do something good (in a proED sense, at least).

I'm on hour 37 right now, I'm kinda hungry but I don't feel like eating.

I might update throughout the day and tell you guys how I'm feeling and stuff like that. :)

Wish me luck!

Edit: 8:17 am, my stomach is starting to cramp. I don't know if this is because I'm fasting but it doesn't bother me much. I am getting hungry though. Hopefully I can hold off until 4 pm.

Edit 2: 1:20 pm, I'm so close!! I'm getting really hungry and I can honestly say I can't wait to eat. I just hope it doesn't turn into a binge. We'll see if I still feel like eating at 4 pm :)

Edit 3: 3:54 pm, I did it! I ended the fast a few minutes early but that's alright :)

---

[Rant/Rave] every time.
/u/ameliacee [5'7" | 134.2 | 21.0 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 14:16:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ir6zs/every_time/
---
I apologize I have a lot to let out right now.

I go to the grocery store, carefully agonize about the different options to place in my basket as I pre-plan every calorie for the next two weeks. I load up my basket with healthy options, fruit and veggies, and some dressings&spices etc. I never lose control in the grocery store unless I'm doing some bullshit like getting food to cook for others/my boyfriend.

I get home to find my family had ordered out a metric FUCK TON of greasy Chinese food.

me: "why did you order so much?"

them: "oh, we thought you wanted some! and we'll have leftovers lololol"

Because you need three days worth of food?

sigh.

I absolutely despise having leftover fast food in the fridge. I'm bulimic so it is perfect binge food. This afternoon I cracked after having my planned carrots and spring mix.

It's just sitting there. No one was home. the chicken, the rice, it was all so good but I just hate myself now. And it's not like they aren't aware of my ED. Somehow a while back I managed to negotiate them keeping two of my worst trigger foods out of the house, potato chips and ice cream. I need to move out. But where would I go, my boyfriend has the same eating mentality, which actually is just eating like a normal person and not feeling guilty.

I don't understand leftovers. Fucking stop it. Just make what you need and eat it. I'll be over here with my unsweetened tea.

---

[Rant/Rave] "I feel too weak to function, I havn't eaten since lunch!". Bull and Shit. Rant.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 | 27/F | SW: >230lbs - CW: 95lbs - GW: 90lbs OR 95lbs+muscle]
Created: Tue May 10 14:04:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ir4oh/i_feel_too_weak_to_function_i_havnt_eaten_since/
---
Everyone I know pretty much pulls this crap. If they havn't eaten for, like, four hours.. suddenly they're dizzy and dying and about to pass out and absolutely CANNOT DO A THING until they eat. It's fucking gross, it's lazy, it's gluttonous.

My mother is the worst. I live with her (mostly at her request because she doesn't want to be alone, but it works for me financially too which I need right now, so whatever). She is lazy as hell. I'll be tidying a kitchen of dirty pots and pans and plates and cutlery, that SHE solely messed up and left stinking of the sideboards or in the sink. I'd ask her to help. She'll claim she absolutely can't help with the chores because she 'hasn't eaten since lunch'... but I'm cleaning that goddamn fucking kitchen having not eaten in THREE DAYS perfectly fine, for instance.

Not just that situation. This happens multiple times a week with her, in varying sorts of situations, where someone has a responsibility/needs to get off their ass but claims they can't because they havn't eaten for fucking hour or something and are about to faint because of it or something.

I can't say that though can I? That I'm still managing, despite having not eaten, or not eaten more than a couple of hundred cals a day for days. It makes me seethe... quietly. People can't do their chores/perform their responsibilities without having 'eaten since lunch'.. I manage perfectly fine on a fast, when restricting. I get my shit done, because I have to get my shit done. I do my chores. I perform my responsibilities. I clean the litter tray. I go out to buy the toilet roll. I wash the bathroom. Even if I havn't eaten since way, way 'before lunch'.

I get so pissed off when people claim they cannot do anything because they havn't eaten for a couple of hours, but I can't say fuck all to it, and they act as if that level of laziness is normal and understandable. It's not.

---

[Rant/Rave] Its watching me.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 13:42:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ir0q1/its_watching_me/
---
It started out a ED. But now I'm getting crazy. Food is the thing I avoid most in the world. BmBut somehow it's all I notice. Driving through a city, I dont see the people, the shops, no. I notice the KFC. And I get so so scared. Like the drivers gonna pull up there and all of the staff are going to stuff chicken down my throat. Im just so threatend by food.

Visiting grandma, I don't notice her new nice painting. No. It's that plate of cookies. Its watching me. They fucking know I want them. They see right through me. I get sweaty, I get jumpy. I cant be around those cookies. They scare me.

---

[Other] the amount of food people eat is surreal.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 10 13:19:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iqwfc/the_amount_of_food_people_eat_is_surreal/
---
So I was at the Walgreens near my work picking up a few items; fizzy water, baby snacks (safe food), sugar free gum, low fat chicken salad, etc. I should note that the Walgreens is like a superstore; 1/3 is a pharmacy, 1/3 is a food court, and 1/3 is a grocery.

While I was in the grocery isle agonizing over different brands of low fat chicken salad, I started to observe the people in the food court; they were just eating. So I wandered over there and started looking at the food items; sushi bar-average cal was 650+, sandwich counter-cals ranging from 450-900, soup bar-average cal 550+, salad counter-cals ranging from 420-750, juice/smoothie bar-average cal 330+.

People were just grabbing items, ordering items, paying for them and eating. No one was looking at the packaging for the cal count. No one was standing there indecisive, mentally calculating a gazillion items and betting against future guilt.

I started to feel tempted by some of the lower cal options, but I already had my pre-planned lunch of 1/2 an avocado with the low fat chicken salad waiting for me. Ultimately, my lunch would be lower cal the all the food items available, but I still wanted *something.*

I felt all the feelz while standing in the food court-envy, pride, desire, guilt, hunger, anger, etc.

I didn't get anything, I walked away from the food court reminding myself that I have a $20 off coupon for forever21 and I'm planning on buying a bunch of extra small crop tops and tiny shorts.

Its so weird how people just...eat. Ordering calorie bombs for lunch, yet not freaking out about it? I see what my coworkers eat in the office-left over Chinese food, big sub sandwiches, sushi platters, etc. All that food for lunch just...amazes me. To me, lunch is no bigger than 400 cals (and that's pushing it, I like to keep it around 300-350). Even when I wasn't so far into my ED I thought that was normal.

But it seems like 750-1000 cals is more of the lunch norm. *Jesus.* I can barely comprehend it, and yet I can; an 8" tuna sub from Jimmy Johns is 720 cals, not including a side and a drink. And people eat like this, everyday! With no thought given!

And here I am, fretting over an extra 20 cal splash of almond milk in my tea. * epic eye roll*

All things considered, I rather do things my way (micromanaged, calculating) and have a hot bod than the standard American way (thoughtless, gluttonous) and end up with type 2 'beetus.

---

[Discussion] So, I'm working to make an appointment for mental health, in regards to my ED.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 12:39:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iqp87/so_im_working_to_make_an_appointment_for_mental/
---
The bad thing is, I don't even want to get better. I just want them to prescribe me something for my BED so I can restrict better.

Think I can get away with that? lol

---

[Other] Got a Skype message at work from someone on my floor. Said "BTW, I saw your huge body".
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Tue May 10 12:25:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iqmn8/got_a_skype_message_at_work_from_someone_on_my/
---
So, on Skype, before the message pops up, it will read:

John Doe sent you a message. Accept?

And the little blurb of his first message read: BTW, I saw your huge body

I was like, DEAR GOD DO I EVEN WANT TO ACCEPT.

I accepted. And it read:

"BTW, I saw your huge body bag. It's bigger than you are, lol"

I started using the gym on campus at work before my shift. I was so relieved. And a little flattered. Especially after feeling like garb with all those mirrors in the lady's locker room. Cannot. Escape. Self.

---

[Other] I made a happy-sounding song about mental illness and my ED.
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 10 12:14:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iqkt2/i_made_a_happysounding_song_about_mental_illness/
---
https://soundcloud.com/megumiband/milkweed

---

[Help] Does anyone else get this weird feel?
/u/soymilktea
Created: Tue May 10 12:06:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iqj9e/does_anyone_else_get_this_weird_feel/
---
I don't know what's happening, but it's happened several times today. It's like my brain is falling? Like I suddenly feel sluggish, experience vertigo and vision goes wobbly. Then it's followed by a dull pain in my head. I always thought it was like my blood sugar dropping suddenly or something, but it just happens at random times now, not just after eating.


I've been keeping to around 500 kcal this week, but that's not much different than normal so I don't know why it's happening so frequently this week.

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else do this horrible wasteful BS where they'll bleach/pour cleaning fluid on food once it's in the trash?
/u/Polegoalz [5'9" | 134 | 19.43 | 53 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 10:22:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iq0b2/does_anyone_else_do_this_horrible_wasteful_bs/
---
I am not condoning this by any means. I feel like scum of the earth for it. Even though I've never had a binge over 1000 calories....I still do this shit.


I LOVE tortilla chips. I bought a big bag, ate like 4....then dumped them in the garbage and put some dish soap on them. why :( I try to buy smaller portions, but I do the same thing with those, too. anyone else?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 10 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ipwro/daily_food_diary_may_10_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 10, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

This is crazy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 10 09:37:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ipsfp/this_is_crazy/
---
https://youtu.be/uJESSnW79j8

---

[Discussion] So I just started Vyvance today...
/u/rsilber96 [5'2 | 131.2 | 24.86 | 4 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 09:36:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ips7b/so_i_just_started_vyvance_today/
---
And I love it! I skipped breakfast and I don't have the urge to binge or eat anything. My stomach is growling but I don't feel hungry. Does that make sense? Like when I think about eating it just seems like annoying like I don't have motivation to eat. I also noticed I haven't been chewing on my lips like I usually do. I feel very alert, like I'm very focused and I forget to blink and then when I finally blink it burns because I've had my eyes open for so long. I feel so hopeful like maybe I can finally stop binging
for good and lose weight again...

---

[Other] Just realized my sweetener and fiber powder add up to almost 100 calories every day :(
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Tue May 10 08:43:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ipj3y/just_realized_my_sweetener_and_fiber_powder_add/
---
My "zero-calorie" sweetener and fiber powder had been things I refused to track. I knew there were some calories in both, but I didn't want to feel obligated to restrict either of them. I started tracking them this week and am now realizing it's almost 100 extra calories between them. I'm still not going to restrict them, but am kind of shocked at how quickly they add up.

---

[Help] The scale won't budge and I'm losing my mind.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Tue May 10 07:59:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ipbr3/the_scale_wont_budge_and_im_losing_my_mind/
---
TMI but I STILL have not had a BM since I think Friday? Saturday? I coffee fasted on Sunday to see if that would force a BM and no amount of coffee and cigarettes helped with a BM! Yesterday the scale was down 0.2 pounds which I was so happy to see, but today it's up 0.6 pounds which I know is food and water weight (especially since I haven't had a damn BM).

I'm lactose intolerant and I had half a cup of Halo Top last night and that didn't help at all. I'm seriously thinking of living off cream cheese and the rest of my Halo Top today since I *am* lactose intolerant - that might work in my favor.

I am so fed up! I could scream! Or cry. Or die. Okay not die but ugh.

Any ideas as to what I can do about this? It's so frustrating and truthfully my stomach/belly area is in quite a bit of pain and discomfort. I'm thinking of either coffee fasting again today, living off ice cream and cream cheese today or biting the bullet and buying some laxatives.

---

[Tip] I found a youtube channel that totally gets rid of my food cravings. It's a "doctor" dissecting food.
/u/tinybites [5'6" | 166 | 26.79 | -19 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 07:12:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ip4ui/i_found_a_youtube_channel_that_totally_gets_rid/
---
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSq3vaVwHc8h2MCYkNa1SPQ?spfreload=5

---

[Rant/Rave] I ate so much fucking food over the past four days, and binged in front of my boyfriend.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 06:56:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ip2gw/i_ate_so_much_fucking_food_over_the_past_four/
---
My boyfriend says I'm delusional and have no idea what "a lot of food is"

I'm sure I probably did only eat at maintenance for the last three days. Sure. But that's still three days I didn't lose any weight.

But last night, I was so bummed, and my stomach had already started getting accustomed to eating. Then my boyfriend ordered take out, and put on some cute chick flick movie (it could have been a great date-night, but I'm disgusting)

I ate a whole takeout box of fried rice. That alone is SO MUCH and I should have stopped. Then I ate an undetermined amount of honey chicken, 3 crab rangoons, an egg roll..

Fuck my life. Fuck how out of control I feel, and how fat I am.

And I feel so bad for my boyfriend, because he's perfect. He's supportive, super attractive and fit, and so sweet. Literally nothing wrong with him. And here I am. Shoveling shit into my face and he's watching, probably in horror and disgust. I could barely swallow the food because I was eating so fast and so much. I even choked a few times.

Like, wtf.

I seriously hate myself so much.

EDIT: Oh yeah. And I haven't had a BM in like a week, so that's making me look extra pregnant/cow-ish. I also broke out over the weekend FROM ALL THE FUCKING SHIT I ATE.

TL;DR (I'm a fat piece of shit and I binge ate chinese take out in front of my boyfriend. )

---

[Rant/Rave] God fucking damn it
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Tue May 10 06:19:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ioxet/god_fucking_damn_it/
---
I cant do it. I cant do anything right anymore. I didnt need that bagel. Or that pizza. Or that piece of cake. Or that other piece of cake. What the fuck is wrong with me. How am I ever gonna get where I want to be if I keep doing this. I tried to lose the 10lbs I gained. And I somehow gained 3. I know that its always "its okay to mess up, tomorrows a new day" but if I fuck up like 5/7 days it adds up and thats why im still fucking fat. Fuck.

---

[Other] Insomnia & fasting for the past 2 days. Been feeling fat af lately, but I love the way this corset looks, makes me feel a bit better.
/u/meahmareah [170cm | 62kg (GW 50) | 21.39 | -4 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 06:18:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iox8u/insomnia_fasting_for_the_past_2_days_been_feeling/
---
http://imgur.com/a/1B3JS

---

I heard some of you like tanlines (F)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 10 06:13:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iowmc/i_heard_some_of_you_like_tanlines_f/
---
http://i.imgur.com/isH27fJ.jpg

---

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A May 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 10 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iov5o/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_may_10_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] Finally after 2 weeks I got my activity tracker band but now, it's not compatible with my phone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 10 03:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ioh7z/finally_after_2_weeks_i_got_my_activity_tracker/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] Been a rollercoaster... starting 24 hr water fast
/u/bitten-and-bleeding [5"7 | CW 128.5 | GW 110]
Created: Tue May 10 02:20:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4io9c6/been_a_rollercoaster_starting_24_hr_water_fast/
---
It's 1:15 AM on Tuesday, May 10th. I'm not letting myself eat 12:00 AM, Thursday, May 12th. With luck, I'll sleep after that and extend my fast.

24 solid hours. I took some laxatives. I want to clean my body out.

I hit 122 last month and I was able to fit into these cute black shorts that I bought as motivation. Now I can't even button them. I'm so fucking disgusting.

Wish me luck, gossamer threads.

---

[Other] Just found this dress. I wish I was as skinny as my photos make me look
/u/russianfrank
Created: Tue May 10 01:55:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4io72u/just_found_this_dress_i_wish_i_was_as_skinny_as/
---
http://imgur.com/a/qC7Jb

---

[Help] Has anyone successfully returned to pure restriction after developing bulimia?
/u/qwertylooping [5'3.5" | 120?? | 21.42 | GW 115 | f]
Created: Tue May 10 01:16:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4io3jg/has_anyone_successfully_returned_to_pure/
---
Sorry can't flair, on mobile

But I'm dying to know. I started purging around December without bingeing, and while that was great (in the proED sense, at least), I started thinking...."why not eat whatever I want if I'm going to be doing this anyway?"

So from spring break (early March) to now I've gained 7 lbs, all due to bingeing despite purging as much as I can. Up to fucking 125lbs from 118.

I WAS ONE LB AWAY FROM MY GW. ONE. ONE FUCKING POUND. AND I HAD TO GO AND DESTROY MY BODY BECAUSE IM A FUCKING WEAK WORM. I HAD VISIBLE ABS, MAN. NOW ITS ALL VISIBLE FLAB.

I just need to start restricting again but can't seem to stop bingeing ???? Does anyone have any experience with this because I'm desperate to stop but it's a fucking never ending cycle.

---

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I did it again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 10 00:56:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4io1iu/rant_i_did_it_again/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] K-Pop Thinspo Album (Girls)
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 137 lbs | -14 | GW 115 | 22.11 | F]
Created: Tue May 10 00:50:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4io0y3/kpop_thinspo_album_girls/
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http://imgur.com/a/6NOOT

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[Rant/Rave] Hiding a Scale
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 10 00:16:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4inxgn/hiding_a_scale/
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I found an old scale of mine while visiting my mother's this weekend. I know I have several in my old room sitting in boxes untouched since college. I was visiting alone so it wasn't hard to just put it in my car, but now I'm back at my place with my SO. She knows about my ED past and current relapse and doesn't want me to have access to a scale, which I understand. I couldn't stop myself sneaking in the contraband. I feel safer even just knowing it's here. I also have less anxiety and more motivation when I do get to look at my weight. I am disappointed seeing how little I've lost without the scale around. Probably around healthy levels but that's not how ED works. I know that this is a sign that I am full on in relapse and can't really reason myself into believing I don't have a problem anymore. I can get away with it momentarily with the whole, I'm too fat to have a real problem. But hiding parts of it, knowing it will hurt a loved one, I know I am truly back here again. On the plus side, if it's like last time, good bye at least another 60 lbs.

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[Discussion] Body Dysmorphia Frustrations
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 137 lbs | -14 | GW 115 | 22.11 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 23:37:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4int2d/body_dysmorphia_frustrations/
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I've had body dysmorphia from a young age, and it was manageable since I got older, but it's coming back something fierce since my depressive episode this winter.


Recently, I lost 9 pounds last month thanks to a lost of restricting, fasting, and walking a lot every day. I've been binging these past 4 days as to not worry my family and I FEEL so fat and bloated, but when I stepped on the scale today, I had lost another pound. I guess it's good that I didn't gain weight and am still on track, but if I wake up and "feel" fat, my reflection seems to agree with my head rather than what the numbers say. Then when my friends are like "You're so tiny!", I look tiny. It's SO frustrating and makes me wonder that if I do reach my goal weight, will I look any different to myself?


Just wondering if you guys have had any dysmorphia struggles lately and then we can all rant about it together, haha!

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[Rant/Rave] I wish I was taller... I look like a shrub.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 9 21:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ingzp/i_wish_i_was_taller_i_look_like_a_shrub/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] When I look at food all I see is calories.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 9 21:02:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ina2b/when_i_look_at_food_all_i_see_is_calories/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Do you ever plan binges?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 124 | 18/18.3 | -22 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 20:34:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4in617/do_you_ever_plan_binges/
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I had my first true binge last Friday: I ate an entire large pizza in one sitting. 2000 calories. I felt terrible after. I felt so ashamed. But now, looking back... god damn it was delicious. It was so fucking good. And I only gained half a pound from it. I'm thinking maybe, every 5 lbs lost, I'll let myself eat another whole pizza in one night. Does anyone else do this? I mean, I don't know if I'll do it. But I'm thinking about it.

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[Other] Trying laxatives
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 20:29:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4in5c7/trying_laxatives/
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I just took a senna tablet because they were randomly in my house and I can't find a store near me that sells the tea. I ate so much this fucking weekend and I want to feel empty again...

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[Other] My tiny thigh gap, used to be bigger but I'm a pig and it's shrunk. Bonus pic of my weird face and smol collar bones. I've felt so gross lately so maybe sharing a pic will motivate me a bit.
/u/tinylunacat [5'4 | 110lb | 19| Female]
Created: Mon May 9 20:23:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4in4ca/my_tiny_thigh_gap_used_to_be_bigger_but_im_a_pig/
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http://imgur.com/a/wawMV

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[Other] I just purged for the first time in 8 years.
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Mon May 9 18:48:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4imq4f/i_just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_8_years/
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I ate a dinner I didn't feel good about.
The title says it all.
I'm not sure how to feel about this...

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[Rant/Rave] I've been stuck for too long
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:110/UGW:85 | BMI:22.6 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Mon May 9 18:45:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4impjm/ive_been_stuck_for_too_long/
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so for the past 2 months I've been doing shit. there were 3 days of wonderfulness. and then woooooosh goes progress. I keep coming home from school, turning on "Let's Drown Out" or some sort of YT video and standing in the kitchen. Just grazing and thennnn binging. I shouldn't do this.

I have a cello audition coming up that I need to practice.

_but I keep doing this._

I have a weight goal I need to make,

_but I keep doing this._

I DON'T EVEN FEEL HUNGRY!

_but I keep doing this_


I could've been at my goal months ago, but alas I have the weakest will :P Also, I've been majorly inconsistent with posting thinspo doodles to my tumblr...and when I was doing the best with restricting I was frequenting here and drawing. Now I seem to have lost enjoyment in everything. Even drawing gets me frustrated because I can't see progress. It's like I need instant gratification, but that's what fucks me up in the first place. I want help controlling the binging, but if I try to explain this to anyone that might lead to trouble.

sorry for the rant. I've just been really down lately, because of all the time I could've spent happy and thin, I've been frumpy and moody.

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[Goal] Successful 24-hour fast
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 95 lb | 19.54 | -32 lb | FTM]
Created: Mon May 9 17:20:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4imcpm/successful_24hour_fast/
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It's nice to be posting something that isn't a rant for once! Pretty much self-explanatory - I just finished my first 24 hour fast. It was the first time that I've (intentionally) fasted like that, so I'm pretty glad that I got it!
I don't intend to start fasting regularly until June, but I'm relieved to know that I can actually pull it off.

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[Rant/Rave] Manipulative/controlling stepdad is making it easier to not eat at all (mini rant)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 9 16:15:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4im2cq/manipulativecontrolling_stepdad_is_making_it/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I feel so gross
/u/Evie_maria [5'5 | 119 lbs | F ]
Created: Mon May 9 15:16:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ilsaf/i_feel_so_gross/
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I've completely fucked up the last 2 weeks, I stopped counting calories and just ate whatever I want, and now I can't even look at myself in the mirror. It's getting hotter now so I've been trying to find summer clothes to wear but I hate the way everything looks at me (especially shorts ugh) restricting is getting so hard to do because I've got exams coming up and I'm just constantly tired.. I just want to like what I see in the mirror

Just wanted to rant, sorry..

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[Discussion] What are your daily calorie goals?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 14:28:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iljkp/what_are_your_daily_calorie_goals/
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Please indicate whether you are talking about your net calorie goals, gross calorie goals, or calorie deficit goals.

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[Other] This week is going to be good.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Mon May 9 14:27:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iljgv/this_week_is_going_to_be_good/
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So after mostly hating last week's keto trial, I'm back to eating carbs. So far I've had a veggie burger and that alone has made me feel much better. I will also be upping my dosage of Prozac so hopefully my mood improves even further (I'm already feeling happier!). I went food shopping yesterday and bought some good safe foods. I have my macros set on MFP to 40p/30c/30f. I've pre-logged all my food for the week and my macros are pretty spot on! I'm trying to not stress too much about the carb and fat macro, and mainly work to meet my protein goal. I have a horse show this weekend and I bought stuff to make breakfast sandwiches to eat prior to showing with balanced amount of carbs, fat and protein. Each sandwich came out to like, 320 calories which isn't bad at all. I probably won't eat anything on horse show days besides that breakfast sandwich. Maybe a Fiber One bar if I'm feeling too drained. I'm really excited for my show and I'm so relieved to be off keto. Hopefully my weight loss will be linear this week, especially considering how physically active I will be.

I hope you all have a lovely week!

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[Help] How to fast/fasting tips?
/u/Chaosncalculation [5'4" | bulimic whale | -7 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 14:15:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ilh9g/how_to_fastfasting_tips/
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[removed]

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[Other] [Question] Does anyone have any phone wallpapers?
/u/Rave-light
Created: Mon May 9 14:10:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ilgd9/question_does_anyone_have_any_phone_wallpapers/
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I was thinking of making some non-cliche ones. I always eat the most when I'm at work. I thought having something to look at on my phone may help me get a cup of tea instead of a candy bar.

The ones I found on google are lacklustre.

-Mods if this doesn't belong here, please feel free to remove. xx

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[Discussion] Fasting: Experiences?
/u/Pipoen [5'9"| 139.3 | 20.6 | =^u^=]
Created: Mon May 9 14:05:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ilfgk/fasting_experiences/
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After binging this weekend for the first time in a month (and not updating food logs which kills me) I am fasting. Currently 24 hours in!

I see this question a lot, but mostly in it bring psychologically beneficial after a binge. 'I want to be feel empty again so I fast etc.' But has it mitigated the effects of said binge in your experience ?

If I think of calories per week, then yes of course. But if I consider the 'weight' I gain back after the fast, it seems like I could just eat 200 cals a day and get the same effect.

Fasting until Friday!

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[Goal] Actually proud of myself
/u/somanybigbutts [|5'6 | 104.5|16.19|F|]
Created: Mon May 9 13:19:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4il7ay/actually_proud_of_myself/
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So yesterday was my birthday, and since I couldn't refuse the special breakfast my SO made (which was really healthy at least) I managed to go the rest of the day with no binging. None!

I thought for sure I'd fuck up on my birthday like I do on most special occasions, but nope! All I could think about was how upset I'd feel after eating and no amount of momentary pleasure was worth waking up afraid of the scale the next morning.

I weighed myself for the first time in a week, and I'm finally down again! I was plateaued at 107 for too long and I'm now 102.8. Even if this is water weight I'm still so motivated.

Happy fucking birthday to me!

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[Discussion] (/r/WTF) 19 year old girl with bulimia found dead in her bathroom after her stomach was ripped open by 5.6 litres of food. NSFL.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon May 9 12:05:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iktq7/rwtf_19_year_old_girl_with_bulimia_found_dead_in/
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https://np.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/4ijk5b/19_year_old_girl_with_bulimia_found_dead_in_her/

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[Other] So mother's day happened...
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 9 11:56:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iks0q/so_mothers_day_happened/
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and as expected, it was a calorie bomb ~~day~~weekend. I could be upset (and in a way I am) but I should focus on what the holiday is about; honoring my mom and MIL, and having my new family (husband and baby) honor me as a mom.

So I got to spend time with people I like, and I received thoughtful gifts from these people, as well as gave my mom and MIL gifts they liked. Babyman showed off his new walking skills, and I ate with nary a thought towards restriction, BP, ED etc. Yeah when I weighed myself this morning I was super pissed/disappointed, but I knew to expect the worst. And honestly its wasn't so bad, I'd even wager most of the gain can be attributed to water weight.

ED took a backseat this past weekend, **and that's ok**. That gave me the mental energy to focus on family that I'm lucky to have. So many people in this world lost their mothers, don't speak to their mothers, or have horrible relationships with their MILs. So many women mourn mother's day because they lost their babies too soon, or miscarried, etc.

I should be thankful, and I am.

Now that a glutton holiday is behind me, BACK ON THE RESTRICTION WAGON. I've been renewed with happyfamily energy (plus my mom got me size small work out clothes as part of my mother's day gift, and they are slight baggy on me!) to reach my goal of 110lbs by June 18th.

As they say in the (saner) weight loss subs; its a marathon, not a sprint.

btw, sorry is this is a smarmy, saccharine post. I ate A LOT this weekend, but I know if I allow myself to dwell and feel shitty about it I'll spiral downwards and I can't do that anymore; babyman and husband need me. So I force myself to look at the positive side of things, it helps keep the downward spiral at bay and it helps me maintain my focus and drive towards 110 lbs (and eventually 105 lbs).

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[Help] How do I admit person information behind my name? Like weight, hight and stuff?
/u/ContinueRepeat [5ft8| 70.54kg| BMI 23. 4 |1.5kg | F]
Created: Mon May 9 11:30:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ikndl/how_do_i_admit_person_information_behind_my_name/
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Thank you. Like I saw it multiple times :) I'm on mobile and browser atm

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[Help] Small waist at a high-ish weight?
/u/Jitterly [163.5 cm | 48kg | 17.96 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 11:20:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ikloo/small_waist_at_a_highish_weight/
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Im kind of at the underweight/normal weight borderline, but my waist is between 21.5 and 22in. Now Im not complainining, but my waist looks the exact same to me as it did when my bmi was 20 and my waist was 26in. My hips and legs (33in hips, thighs are 19in) seem so huge in comparison. I feel so grossly tiny in the top but still so chubby in my legs. I just wish I could get my lower half to look nice and lean, but instead I have this freakish waist. I know objectively I must look terribly disproportionate, but at least my upper body measurements let me know I must be small there.Im just so frustrated with my lower body.
Sorry for so much ranting on here today :/

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[Discussion] Seeking participants with eating issues for new online research study
/u/FoodBodyResearch
Created: Mon May 9 11:14:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ikklw/seeking_participants_with_eating_issues_for_new/
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Hi, I am a doctoral student conducting an online study on eating issues. In order to participate you must be over the age of 18 and experience eating struggles. The goal of this study is to determine underlying issues that contribute to irregular eating habits, which will ultimately inform more effective mental health care for individuals with eating disorders. Participants will be asked to complete a series of questionnaires that lasts about an hour.

The study is completely anonymous and information is kept confidential. After participating, you can enter a raffle to win one of several $100 Amazon gift cards.

If you are interested in participating in this exciting and important new research, please click here:

https://tinyurl.com/BodyExperiences

You can also contact the primary investigator, Alexandra Grundleger, LCSW at foodbodyresearch@gmail.com if you have any questions.

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[Help] Any other fitness-focused disordered eaters?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 11:06:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ikj1u/any_other_fitnessfocused_disordered_eaters/
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I know we all have different goals and different fitness levels (and they're all perfect), but is there anyone out there who is serious/semi-serious about weightlifting? Im doing stronglifts 5x5 and trying to have enough energy for it. Basically i eat between 50-500 calories on off days and then 1600 on monday, wednesday, friday. For those with similar fitness goals, what have you found works for you? Does my plan seem like an ok idea?

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[Rant/Rave] Hey moms...
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 173.8 | 28.05 | -46.2 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 10:58:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ikhmj/hey_moms/
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Raise your hand if you allowed yourself to indulge yesterday because "fuck it, I work hard every single fucking day and I deserve to eat whatever I want for one damn day" and you're now regretting it.




*raises hand*




And the food wasn't even life-changing good. Not worth it at all. I worked my ass off last week and then fucked it all up yesterday. And for what?

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[Goal] I went down a size!
/u/3drinkkaraokestar [175cm | SW: 57kg CW:52.2kg GW: 48kg | F]
Created: Mon May 9 10:28:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ikcjq/i_went_down_a_size/
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I've been in the small-medium range for clothes for the past few years. My friend and I decided we wanted to start working out together (we've both failed at working out alone several times, figured the buddy system might help).

So I went shopping for workout clothes yesterday since I got rid of my last set ages ago because they were too big. Snagged a couple pairs of small capri leggings off the rack- plus a medium and an extra small to cover my bases- and headed to the fitting room. Pulled the smalls on and- lo and behold- way too big in the waist. I could hardly believe my eyes.

Slowly, not believing what was happening, I pulled off the smalls and eased into the extra smalls... and they were a perfect fit.

It really made my day- my week, even. I know sizes fluctuate from brand to brand, but that's why I say I was in the small-medium range- and I think I can safely say I'm now in the extra small-small range. And that just makes me really happy and I wanted to share (:

New to the community/first post, please let me know if I violated any rules.

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[Other] Seeking participants with eating issues for new online research study
/u/FoodBodyResearch
Created: Mon May 9 10:15:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ikaaj/seeking_participants_with_eating_issues_for_new/
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[removed]

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[Discussion] I worry im not close to an eating disorder
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 9 10:08:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ik90b/i_worry_im_not_close_to_an_eating_disorder/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 9 10:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ik82o/daily_food_diary_may_09_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 09, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] I thought guys would treat me better if I was thinner
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon May 9 09:39:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ik3z7/i_thought_guys_would_treat_me_better_if_i_was/
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I was wrong, now I just attract more assholes. At least when I was bingeing my face off I had some source of comfort. But I can't return to that. What good would it do me to be alone AND fat again? I'm up 7 lbs already...I can't go back to BED but restricting has become so hard. I used to find so much comfort in denying myself, feeling the pain of hunger and cold. Maybe I'm just not thin enough yet.

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[Discussion] Why do I feel so overwhelmed when I count calories/eat anything?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 08:33:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ijsw8/why_do_i_feel_so_overwhelmed_when_i_count/
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I don't want to end up skinny fat. Nor do I want to lose muscle mass. I know I should be counting macros, especially protein, and making sure everything I eat it as nutritionally beneficial as possible. But I get so overwhelmed when I'm planning meals, and counting calories. I rather just take some gummy vitamins, and not eat at all. It sucks, because I know how bad this is. Does anyone else feel this way? Just really overwhelmed/almost anxiety attack-ish when they count calories or think about food?

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[Rant/Rave] I'm out of IP!
/u/Banshee__Queen [5'3" (I grew yay!)|48kg| 18.97 |+too much ('recovery weight) |F]
Created: Mon May 9 07:48:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ijm7l/im_out_of_ip/
---
Per title. I ended up gaining a lot, but thankfully my BMI is still rather low. I have to go to sessions once I go back to England but otherwise I'm on free reign which is nice. I know that I'm supposed to finish the whole recovery thing but really I don't know. I've gained so much, I can't stand my body. So I guess for as long as I have my sessions which should last until September I'll keep this weight. Then lose back to BMI 17. I liked my body then. I was happy. It's a mental struggle to even eat so much to maintain this current weight. But yeah, for now I'm allowed to go home. I have to buy new clothes since my old ones don't fit, so I guess that's something to look forward to.

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[Rant/Rave] I just wanted a fucking oreo
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Mon May 9 06:29:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ijbrp/i_just_wanted_a_fucking_oreo/
---
All day, I couldn't stop thinking about eating the cake my mom was given for mother's day. I doubt it's vegan so I did my absolute best not to eat a single bite.

A while ago, I finally decided to allow myself to eat a couple of oreos because why not, I deserve it for eating vegan the whole weekend (I'm new, so it really tested my willpower) and I also didn't eat much that weekend because I was in someone else's home and no one else is vegan and all I had to eat was this one small block of tofu, rice and 2 pears. I was there for 3 days.

I was tempted by fish, meat, ice cream, bread, chocolate, cake, etc. And I managed to control myself. And I figured since I've been so good, it'll be okay if I ate an oreo or two or three or whatever the fuck I want.

Then my friend says "uhhh, don't if you'll regret it later" and this kind if just made me feel like shit. Like I'm finally allowing myself to eat something I really want and then suddenly I feel like total crap. And the thing is, he's right. I probably will regret it later. But ffs I just wanted this one fucking thing. And he had to take that away from me.

I'm literally crying over oreos, even that's funny to me.

I guess I'll just fast tomorrow to feel better. Sigh

Edit: I know that oreos are vegan. I was avoiding eating oreos because it's unhealthy and high cal :)

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[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! May 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 9 06:03:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ij8qk/weekly_stats_update_may_09_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for May 09, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Goal] Love handles are decreasing exponensially
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 03:09:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iis9d/love_handles_are_decreasing_exponensially/
---
http://i.imgur.com/zYu8Noy.jpg

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[Other] I'm back... but I don't feel like I belong
/u/Melusedek [173 | 58.9 | 19.45 | F]
Created: Mon May 9 01:49:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iilrc/im_back_but_i_dont_feel_like_i_belong/
---
So I completed my first half marathon on Saturday (1:59:27 fuck yeah), and I'm getting my tattoo this afternoon so my carte blanche to eat what ever I want will expire this evening.

On one hand, I'm looking forward to go back to restricting. I've been avoiding the scale because I know seeing how much I've gained would have stressed me out. For the rest of the week I'm planning on only eating breakfast then drinking coffee or lemon water for the rest of the day. After I'll slowly up my calories, but low carb this time because apparently carbs are the fucking devil and I can't control myself around them (and since I'm no longer training, I have no excuse to eat them).

But on the other hand, it wasn't that hard to just eat and not step on the scale. No harder than switching to restricting. It almost felt... normal. And that has made me think that maybe I don't really belong here. I feel better when I restrict, but eating doesn't cause me the kind of anxiety I see other people describe (though that post-binge self-loathing is all too familiar).

So what I'm saying is that I think I'm going to take a step back and go back to lurking. I love this community, and how supportive everyone is so I don't want to leave but it feels disrespectful to continue to comment or post when I don't actually have an eating disorder.

So ttfn lovelies, you're all so beautiful and strong. Seeing all these posts has given me a new respect for anyone struggling with an eating disorder. If any of you need to talk (even to ask for tips on running long distances while heavily restricting lol) feel free to shoot me a PM.

---

[Discussion] How to resist the urge to purge?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| trying to lose-25 lbs| F]
Created: Mon May 9 00:37:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iif2o/how_to_resist_the_urge_to_purge/
---
I haven't purge in a while but the urge never leaves.

Recently I have been purging more often and I cant help it, I just feel so bad that i cant restrict like i want to so I purge. The last time before my recent purge was around December.

I cant help it! I feel like since I cant restrict, my next best option is to eat just to throw up!

---

[Help] Is this even possible?!!!!?
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Mon May 9 00:18:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iid7v/is_this_even_possible/
---
So, I was down to 127 when I visited my mom for mothers day. My mom is a big trigger for me to binge so I rationalized that I had to eat as to not arouse suspicions, big mistake. I ate so much I couldn't move and then ate more. I somehow in two days gained 13lbs.... my scale says 140.... I was 127. I want to like amputate my leg to get it to go down. I don't want to leave my house but I have to go to the gym. How did this happen,so much work and I ate it all back with food I don't even like in one day. I want to die right now.

---

[Rant/Rave] Happy effing mothers day, moms.
/u/Avadakaboom [5'8.5" | 148lbs | 22.5 | -81 | F]
Created: Sun May 8 21:39:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ihva8/happy_effing_mothers_day_moms/
---
Anyone else living in hell with little terrorists that you're terrified of fucking up for life?

Yeah, me too. And mothers day sucked ass. Seems like more of a create expectations holiday then dash them against the wall.

Evan Williams and I have been bonding. He's super sweet, especially since my current beau didn't even say anything at all to me, since Friday. I know he's a divorced dad of three, paying child support with a super busy life - but not responding to my messages and the whole "even if I'm quiet doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you" bullshit. Damn. I don't know what's super busy life and what's I'm not interested anymore. He's told me not to read between the lines etc etc but holy fuck. Maybe we just have communication issues/different communication needs? I'm almost 30, a soon to be divorced mom of 3, why do I feel like I'm in high school again navigating awkward relationships?


I feel so worthless. Yay alcohol!

---

[Rant/Rave] Saw my friend today. Told me I was "so skinny" last year.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Sun May 8 20:55:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ihpib/saw_my_friend_today_told_me_i_was_so_skinny_last/
---
Um, I didn't even feel skinny enough then. At my lowest I was 117. And now I feel like absolute shit. I was like, "you say that like I look so much bigger now". And after I binged yesterday (can't even trust myself around peanut butter now? My options just keep getting smaller and smaller.) Honestly, that fucking hurt. Time to do a multi-day water fast. /sobs

---

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I'm ready to binge my brains out/My life is falling to shambles/This disorder has destroyed my life for 7 years.
/u/Strongpursuits [5'4"/SW: 150/Lw:96.6/Cw: 112.0/Gw: Gonegirl/]
Created: Sun May 8 20:49:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ihops/rant_im_ready_to_binge_my_brains_outmy_life_is/
---
I'm going nuts. I was 106 for a week, and after 2/3 days of staying home sick taking codeine, a week of drinking (i stopped for a while but my house indulges a lot and i decided to drink to help my constipation) and 2/3 days of over-eating by about a 1000 calories, i shot up to 112 lbs.

I want to fucking kill myself. I hate how my pants don't fit and how my life is falling to shambles and my boyfriend and i of 4 years broke up and my medication is making me horribly depressed & i hate that im on meds in the first place and i hate that i have no friends and that i traveled 2 hours away from my entire life for a job that makes me feel happy yet horribly incompetent.

I'm ready to just give everything up and go back to living off a liquid diet. The last time i did that i lost weight SO fast and became emaciated - i don't care as now my parents go AGES without seeing me, my college campus cant kick me off and its only my job that i have to worry about. And since i have ADD i can blame the meds (oh and i have the psychiatrist to worry about but my therapist i see over the phone and my pdoc doesn't know about my ed so it'll be a while for him to catch on since i can blame my meds if anything happens and i'll see if i can start seeing this new doc every other month).

I'm ready to binge my brains out for a third day in a row as i feel like i'm ruining my friends relationship, like i'm failing at my job, at being an adult, and i just want to fucking die with this weight i've gained. I want to get back to a nice neat 99. If i dont get back to 106 by next weekend i'm going to become self destructive I don't care.

---

[Rant/Rave] Unplanned meals
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 95 lb | 19.54 | -32 lb | FTM]
Created: Sun May 8 20:44:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iho2f/unplanned_meals/
---
There's not really much to say - my family and friends keep suddenly announcing restaurant outings and making me take more food or order things with higher calories than what I was planning well after even I want to take any more (which is saying something since I have the worst self control and gorge myself like a damn fool lmao). And this is typical, so usually I can deal with it, but it's been the past *three days in a row*, which I just can't take. I actually made a laid-out plan for this month and the next and I'd been able to follow it so far and was so happy... Additionally, May and June are full of events where I'm going to be expected to eat a ridiculous amount of food, and I'm just finding all this out now, so I have to keep adjusting my daily caloric intakes to account for those days.

Can't exercise because of the sudden swamp of schoolwork either, so I skipped dinner today and I'm going to try to do a 24 hour fast, then half my typical calorie count for the next three days to try and make up for this mess of a weekend.

---

[Rant/Rave] What the f*ck is wrong with me.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun May 8 20:25:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ihlat/what_the_fck_is_wrong_with_me/
---
I binged and purged on Chinese takeout and then ate 3 chocolate chip cookies, in addition to the 5 I had earlier today. Not to mention that mother's day morning bun. God dammit I'm filled with loathing. I want to sew my mouth shut and never eat again.

---

Seeking a Pro Ana/Mia Buddy 💜
/u/to-whatever-end
Created: Sun May 8 18:52:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ih8tb/seeking_a_pro_anamia_buddy/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Apparently, I can't handle the movie theater anymore.
/u/Twosi [5'4" | F]
Created: Sun May 8 18:44:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ih7lw/apparently_i_cant_handle_the_movie_theater_anymore/
---
I haven't been in the best of spirits this past week, so I put off seeing Civil War and figured I could just catch it this weekend. Ended up picking a showing today in the early afternoon even though I still wasn't totally feeling it.

*Huge mistake*

I live in Vegas, and very few of our movie places are outside of a casino. Another thing that our casinos have in abundance are food places- buffets, fast food, sit downs, etc. It's all in the hopes that you, as a guest of the casino, won't feel the need to actually leave and will instead spend all your time and money there. It is what it is I suppose.

Walking through the casino, I started to panic. The smell of all the foods was just overpowering, but I'm fairly positive, it was just in my head. I tried covering my nose and speed walking to get away from it. In all honestly, I wanted to run home and hide under my desk. Made it to the ticket kiosk machine, printed out the tickets and continued holding my nose/mouth breathing (attractive!) and speed walking to the right screen. Blissfully empty and freshly cleaned, I could breathe normally again and just **relax**. That, however was short lived because of course it's Mother's Day and it's THE movie to go and see right now so it began filling up with people and their foods.

The smell of popcorn and nachos made me want to gag by itself but then came the crunching, the lip smacks, the rustling. I sank down as low as I could in my seat, covered my ears with my hands annnnd... started bawling. I tried to do so quietly. I honestly can't say if anyone noticed. I felt so weak and pathetic. I could barely focus the entire time and even now, I've been home for over an hour and my heart is racing, I'm agitated, and worst of all? I can barely even recall most of the film.

I wish I could just... not care? I don't even need to be "normal" per se... I just wish I could have enjoyed my time out. Ignored everything around me. Not gotten irrationally angry when the couple in front of me finished and refilled their extra large bag of popcorn twice before the previews were even over. Not hugged my purse to my body as if it was a shield. I wish I didn't still taste the grease and feel like it's coating me from just smelling it all.

I think I need a nap and to remind myself in the future that this is and was a horrible idea.

---

[Intro] Intro
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Sun May 8 18:32:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ih5wp/intro/
---
Hi all, I figured it's about time I introduce myself as I've been lurking on and off for a few months now. I apologize for the wall of text.



I'm 19 and have had an unhealthy relationship with food and body image from my early teenage years. My mom used to pack me lunch everyday and I'd just sit there staring at what she gave me and eventually throw it out. Now I feel so guilty for wasting so much food. In middle school and high school I would try to go without eating all day until dinner and would be so proud when I managed. I'd stare at all of the super thin girls in my classes wearing skimpy outfits and feel like a cow. Through all this I never really got too thin because, despite being terrified of getting fat, I loved food.



However, the past year has changed that. Around this time last year I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation, depression, self harm, and anxiety. Because of that I had to leave college and continue treatment at home. During the summer I took a job as a horseback riding instructor at a sleep away camp just to get the hell out of my house and their dining hall was so loud and crowded it would give me panic attacks. I either couldn't eat or I'd immediately vomit after eating. So I lost a bit of weight through not being able to regularly eat and working in a highly physical job (we had 12 horses and my co-instructor was useless). But when I tried to return to school in the fall my depression got worse again and I would just sleep all day. While I wouldn't eat during the day because I was too fucking lazy and too scared to leave my room, I would binge on personal pizzas and subs for dinner. So I gained a little weight. Most of my clothes still fit but they were tighter and I had to buy new suits because the size 2s (but tailored to fit around a 0 because 0 suits are hard to find) didn't fit. I think I'm still within 10 pounds of my high school weight but I don't know because I'm terrified of scales.



Apparently not going to class for most of a semester and sleeping all day does not bode well for your grades (who would have guessed). I was asked to take spring semester off before returning. Because of the total lack of support I received from my college (they made every step of seeking treatment for depression and anxiety difficult and their counselors frequently violated HIPAA), I decided to resign and take the semester off.



I'm home and working in a shitty job and caring for my mother who just had open heart surgery. I couldn't get into a real school for the fall because even though I had a 3.9 GPA my freshman year, a semester of failing grades makes you highly unattractive to colleges. So I'm taking classes at a community college and it's hell because I know I don't belong there. I've been a high academic achiever my entire life and now I'm stuck in classes with teen moms with GEDs (I'm sorry if I offended anyone). All of my anxiety is now directed towards food. I like that while I may not be able to control much about my shitty life, I can control everything that goes into my body. For the past month I've been restricting to an average of 500 calories a day, except on weekends when I'm with my boyfriend because he's the only thing that even briefly takes away my anxiety and insecurities. Plus he got really worried a few weekends ago when I almost passed out while I was doing my hair. I, on the other hand, was so proud I had the discipline to restrict enough to get to that point.



I love how it feels to see a number under 500 on MyFitnessPal. I love the dizziness I get whenever I stand up. I love feeling how slow my heartbeat is for once, instead of racing with anxiety. I love that my jeans now gap at the waist instead of dig into my hips. So my goals are to continue to lose, conquer my crushing fear of scales so I can more accurately track my weight, and finally get out of triple digit weights. I hate looking at my fat thighs and seeing new stretch marks and my self harm scars. And reading this post I hate how I sound. I hate how vapid I am but I cannot bring myself to eat "normally" again. At this point I don't even know what normal is.

---

[Rant/Rave] Screaming. [binge]
/u/lowgravities
Created: Sun May 8 18:25:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ih4xe/screaming_binge/
---
I had seven straight days at my goal and no b/p for the first time in mONTHS. Today I binged because of a social event and the week's hard won progress feels like nothing. I specifically fasted yesterday (and passed out this morning from low blood sugar) to try to avoid this scenario, but, my body is still stronger.

Tell me I can win. Tell me I can do better this time. Because it's all so exhausting and I'm tired, tired of the same fractions of pounds and eighth inches and sleepless hungry nights.

---

[Discussion] What's the earliest memory you have of your ED manifesting itself?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 8 17:32:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igxqv/discussion_whats_the_earliest_memory_you_have_of/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Fasting Success! So far...
/u/mynoothrowaway
Created: Sun May 8 17:11:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iguyy/fasting_success_so_far/
---
Guys I'm super excited. One of the fantastic things about my husband leaving me is that now I live alone and only eat when I want to. So I took up water fasting, adding one day every weekend. My last meal was a bit of chicken for Thurs supper, and I've stuck to that! My plan is to not eat until Mon supper, and that will just be a little broth maybe with some onions.

(Sorry if this comes across as braggy I'm just super excited and have no one else to share this with. I figured you guys would understand.)

---

[Help] Exercise Support
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 8 17:07:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igudj/exercise_support/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Getting a lot of hate.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Sun May 8 17:00:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igtfj/getting_a_lot_of_hate/
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You guys I love reddit! But ive been getting sooooo much hate for subscribing to proED... Somehow my opinion means less now?? Anybody else had this??

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[Rant/Rave] Buzzfeed's Excuses for Staying Large
/u/Frinada [5'4 | 141.8 | 24.3 | -6.2lbs | Woman]
Created: Sun May 8 16:46:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igrfu/buzzfeeds_excuses_for_staying_large/
---
https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolynkylstra/fixed-that-fitspo-for-ya?utm_term=.yaq5Vb1W0a

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[Help] Why did I make a dinner date?
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Sun May 8 16:38:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igqd1/why_did_i_make_a_dinner_date/
---
Like an idiot, I agreed to a dinner date with this guy. Despite my food problems, I am secretly a foodie so he invited me to this place with an amazing menu! But I've been doing so well with not binging (and also am super broke), so I have no idea what to eat.

I seriously want to get one of the things listed under their "small plate" options, like the tuna poke, but feel like that would be a huge red flag. First date and "hello, I have an ED, how are you?"

I'm already super stressed because I feel too fat for anything cute to wear.

Please help! Here's the menu:
http://savasrestaurant.com/dinner-menu/

---

[Discussion] Buzzfeed's Excuses for Staying Large.
/u/Frinada [5'4 | 141.8 | 24.3 | -6.2lbs | Woman]
Created: Sun May 8 16:26:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igoks/buzzfeeds_excuses_for_staying_large/
---
https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolynkylstra

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[Rant/Rave] You beautiful, perfect, wonderful humans. I love you.
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 8 16:13:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igmsn/you_beautiful_perfect_wonderful_humans_i_love_you/
---
If you remember, my mom is an asshole. She handed me my ED, gift wrapped with a bow on top, when I was 12 years old and continued to feed it every year until I cut her off two years ago.

Today is Mother's Day, and once again my older sister is stroking my mothers ego and feeding my Dad's ability to believe that every bad thing my mother ever did (she abused us in essentially every way, not just my ED) is a lie I made up because I'm evil.

I feel abandoned and alone. No one in my family has ever had my back and they continue to offer me up as the gutted pig on the altar to keeping my mom appeased.

But I have you guys. And you guys are my beautiful, wonderful people. My people who take control and inspire me to take control. And tonight I am following up a day of lovely restriction with heavy drinking and tomorrow I'm fasting until after yoga. And next week I'm going to dip under 130 lbs.

Because my body belongs to me. And I can do what I want with it for me, and not for her. And no one can hurt me but me. And you guys are the ones who remind me of that every day. I know I could be more active on this sub than I am, but I love you all and appreciate you and read every word you post.

Hugs to each of you guys and girls. Thank you for helping me get my power back.

---

[Discussion] Plan on eating less than 100 cals for 3 days a week, how damaging can this be?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Sun May 8 15:55:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igkd7/plan_on_eating_less_than_100_cals_for_3_days_a/
---
My plan goes like this:

Monday - 100

Tuesday - 500

Wednesday - 1,000

Thursday - 100

Friday - 500

Saturday - 100

Sunday - 500


The only daily thing I consume is coffee and that comes around 50 cals per cup because of the soy milk.

I'm doing this for faster weight loss and discipline. I hate that I think about food a lot. I'm also very sedentary.

Is this in anyway damaging? I don't want to slow down my metabolism (which is why I'll be eating 1000 on Wednesdays bc some weird part of me thinks it'll trick my metabolism or some shit idk tbh)

Please help, I don't want to do long term damage. Or at least do the least damage possible.

---

[Rant/Rave] I told my sister
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 | -12.4 | 20 y/o F]
Created: Sun May 8 15:42:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igiio/i_told_my_sister/
---
So... today was kinda shite, and I obviously don't have to say that it ended in a massive horrible binge xP

Today was mothers day, and we had the family over while my dad made rips, and I've fasted the past two days, so I could justify eating them today..

Well, yea, I felt quite dizzy, so I ate some grapes, instantly feeling shite after that, and my bf, who was over for dinner aswell, was acting like super moody, and did not answer when I asked him what was wrong, he just looked at me, like he always does when he is depressed, instead of talking to me, because he thinks it is better that way (men... gah)

Anyway, so because I was stressed because of the bf, and stressed because of the grapes, and stressed because mothers day dinner with dessert and everything, I was really at the brick in that moment... so whilst fighting down tears, I kinda... I told my sister...

She saw I was upset, and asked what was wrong, and I told her about the bf, and that I was just stressed anyway and did not have the energy to deal with him, and when she asked why I was stressed, I pulled her to the side and told her..

I just could not hold it back, I had to talk about it with someone, and I told her about how much I had lost, how shite I feel when I eat, how I fast and binge and fast again, how I struggle with that since I was 16...

She immediately said that I should get help and treatment, and that she would call therapists for me, and... when I said that I didn't want help, that I was not ready, she was freaked..

We had to stop there, because my mother came into the kitchen, but I saw my sister go upstairs, and followed a few minutes later, finding her crying on the stairs because of me..

She said 'why didn't I notice it earlier' and stuff like that, and I felt so shite, because she has a BIG problem with depression etc, and me just adding to that was such a horrible feeling...

We went into her old room (she does not live with my family anymore), and talked a bit more, and I told her a bit more, how I didn't want treatment, how I saw food as the enemy, how it was not because I decided it to be that way, or how it was not about just looking good or something, but how my brain screams at me all those thoughts etc..

Again we were interruped by my mum, telling us that we should come down again and talk with my grandparents, and we didn't get a chance to talk again...

But at dinner she constantly looked at me while eating (something I REALLY hate) and when I declined the chips (fries for our americans here) she was like 'you should eat some they are really good!', something she would not have said if I hadn't told her... literally twenty minutes after I told her that I had my brain freak out if I ate..

I made her swear not to tell anyone, especially not my parents, as they would just force me to eat, making me feel even shittier, but.. Idk if she keeps that.. I mean I trust her more than anyone else in the world, but I think that she probably will tell her bf... and that makes me really anxious...

So yes, that triggered a massive binge, and I ate probably 2.000 cal, next to the 1.500 that were dinner today, and I feel so shite and so horrible and so gross and I'm starting, as of midnight a 60h fast, living off coffee, tea, diet coke and broth fml

---

[Intro] First post and wanted to thank you all
/u/skinnygonefat [5'5" | 130 | 21.6 | F]
Created: Sun May 8 15:26:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igg1d/first_post_and_wanted_to_thank_you_all/
---
Hi everyone!

I'm new here, and I'm so glad I found this sub because I didn't know who else I could talk to about my problems with food without being judged.

I think I have always had an ED, I was a fat kid because my parents never taught me how to manage my emotions so I tried to find comfort in eating lots of food. Then I would hate myself for how fat I had gotten and restrict a lot, but then months later something bad would happen and I would binge to feel better, etc etc and the cycle never ends.

This time however I want to end the cycle, I have noticed that when I restrict I also have more control in other areas of my life so I want to make restricting my new lifestyle. I have hinted this to my boyfriend but he is completely against it, he wants me to eat normal meals and workout a lot to compensate for it, but I know I can't be trusted with food and I would end up bingeing again. Both my parents are fat and always overeat, so I know they wouldn't approve of this lifestyle either.

Just wanted to say that it was so refreshing to find you guys, to know that there were other people like me!! I'll update when I start losing the first lbs :)

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[Rant/Rave] My ultimate goal weight is not a number.
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Sun May 8 15:06:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igd4z/my_ultimate_goal_weight_is_not_a_number/
---
It's to be able to wear light, delicate, feminine clothing with a nice dykey hairdo. And not feel like an ape in a dress.

I want to wear slacks with a crisp button-down oxford tucked into it and a belt. I want the front of my body to be entirely flat (except for whatever's left on my chest by that point lol)

I want to be able to wear a (2nd hand) fitted biker jacket and not feel like a fraud or look like just another fat biker chick. (2nd hand because no extra animals died to make it.)

I want to be able to dress myself as I want. And have people see how I'm dressed rather than the sad rotund appearance of a lumpy meatsack shoved into the clothes.

I want my body to me MINE, god damnit. God. Fucking Damnit. I've lived in someone else's body my whole fucking life. I don't know what it's like to see yourself in a mirror and consistently feel like it's you staring back. I'm trapped in this body, these layers of repugnant decadence spend their time holding down potential. My first impression is that of a stranger. People don't see me. This fatsuit is all they see. It's always been ON me. It's never BEEN me. I've always been trapped, suffocated, crushed, and mocked by it. The tiniest components of biscuits, butter, oreos, and ice cream transformed into a sea of silent mercenaries that had no purpose other than to destroy my body. Helpless as the inevitable happened and the hideous grew to the abominable. It's funny how food and insanity are so closely linked.

It did destroy my body. I have so many stretch marks, I can't even count them. My boobs sit too low on my chest. My lower stomach is a flap of deflated tissue. My arms look like a 60 year old woman's.

But that's okay. Because it's a veneer. It's just skin. A poor, unfortunate victim in the war I've waged against the fat that sits below. It's fucking disgusting. But it's there as a reminder of how much more disgusting it could be.

My ultimate goal is to finally look remotely on the outside how I feel on the inside. I'll never recognize myself in the mirror completely, but my motivation is all these goals at the end. The closer I get to them, the more I feel like a fucking *human being*. I get to be part of the fucking human race. And no matter how dreadfully stupid humans can be, I'd rather be part of that race than that of orb-shaped nobodies who drift back and forth behind the wall that separates those whom the world takes seriously and those it dismisses at first glance.

I rejoice with every new rib bone I see poke out. Those are mine. My body finally starting to become visible again. Me. Becoming visible.

My goal is to get to meet myself for the first time.

---

[Discussion] This is so weird. Not sure if its a normal or ed related way of thinking.
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Sun May 8 15:03:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4igcml/this_is_so_weird_not_sure_if_its_a_normal_or_ed/
---
So I have been restricting and avoiding the scale, doing well the past few days; no hunger or self loathing. Just working on making progress.

My stomach just rumbled and I thought "its okay, youre just hungry." No real desire to eat, no racing to the kitchen, no crazy fear because I was scared I would lose control. I just acknowledged that my body was like "hey hey heyyyyy i want something" and I thought, "its okay, you will get it in half an hour."

It was simple. I just acknowledged the hunger and it was like "oh yah no bruh, its cool. Ill wait." I experienced it but didn't let its presence send me into a dive. I remember having a feeling like this when i first started restricting years ago (when i was really successful at losing weight and keeping it off - before learning to b/p). Is this ED thinking or "normal"? I feel like I shouldn't be so thrown off by a desire not to eat haha guess I finally broke the b/p cycle

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[Rant/Rave] I don't think I can enjoy food anymore, at all
/u/woollyshirt [5'7 | 63.2kg | 21.80 | -24.8kg | M/NB]
Created: Sun May 8 13:53:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ig1xm/i_dont_think_i_can_enjoy_food_anymore_at_all/
---
For a few weeks now, I've been trying to eat 1200kcal/day. It's horrible. I spent two hours yesterday walking to different supermarkets just to pick out lunch, because nothing is tasty now? I thought eating 1200 would be better to get me through the last few weeks of college but my weight loss is so slow that it's distracting me way more than eating 600/day did. I hoped eating at 1200 would maybe 'fix' me and I wouldn't feel the need to eat so little, but it's just reaffirmed that that's all I'm comfortable with, and it feels horrible. I don't want to be like this! My goal was 55kg by september and i'm still determined to reach it, but I'm worried summer will be super hard if I don't continue to make progress now. I feel really stuck, and need some kind of advice but I don't know what kind.

tl;dr I tried to be normal and just reinforced how disordered I am.

---

[Help] What do you do to "get down from sugar"?
/u/stelldichein
Created: Sun May 8 13:19:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ifwvq/what_do_you_do_to_get_down_from_sugar/
---
My situation: whenever I eat something really sugary but small (like chocolate or candy) my mind can't think straight anymore. I always go back to get more to "calm myself down", even if I don't even want to eat more of that thing (mostly because I'm nauseous) and it only makes things worse. I also can't get myself to eat something healthy like fruits or veggies whenever I'm in this situation, because nothing tastes right anymore. I feel really anxious whenever it happens and it also feels a bit different than a binge, I don't feel like eating faster and stuffing big quantities in my mouth, it's just that I can't get my mind away from the sugar.

So... does anybody else have that sometimes? What do you do to successfully get your mind off of it and calm yourself down? It's freaking frustrating.

---

[Rant/Rave] Mother's Day Breakfast/Brunch/Lunch/Supper
/u/Flufferbutternutter [5'2" | 103 | 19.52 | -37 | F]
Created: Sun May 8 12:29:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ifp6b/mothers_day_breakfastbrunchlunchsupper/
---
Fuck holidays with families who think food is love.

300 calories (small bagel+tbsp of PB) breakfast with my mom.

700 calories for brunch (smallest thing on the menu, fed half of it to my kid, ate half of the lowest calorie dessert, still got wierd looks) with my son and his dad and my mother.

And my dad is coming home tonight from away so God only knows how much I'll have to eat for supper.

Fuck this. Fuck holidays and their food requirements. Fuck the leftover lemon loaf sitting on the counter, taunting me.

---

[Tip] I've only ever used calories to justify eating something
/u/lifetc
Created: Sun May 8 11:49:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ifj12/ive_only_ever_used_calories_to_justify_eating/
---
I've been trying to quit merciless tracking of everything I eat. I noticed that whenever I tracked something, I would get really anxious when I realised I was under. Instead I'm upping my exercise (so I don't freak out about having exercised way more than I ate), and forcing myself to be super careful about everything so there's no possible way I can go over. Which is the good thing about dysfunctional living: by this point I know literally everything out there that could throw me off track. I'm like the Hulk: my secret is I'm always afraid of eating something.

---

[Goal] Holy shit you guys
/u/stealgravity [5'5.5 | 128lbs (BMI 21) | -14.2lbs]
Created: Sun May 8 11:26:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iffdf/holy_shit_you_guys/
---
I was looking at this line under my boob, terrified I'd developed excess skin underneath or something, but then my friend pointed it out... It was a fucking rib I'd never seen before. Then I turned to the side and saw every single bone in my back, clear as day. I've even got shoulder knobs coming in. I'm nowhere near my goal, just hit 130lbs at 5'5.5" but my upper torso is getting so damn small already I'm *almost* happy with it.

---

What happens with your metabolism /weight when u suddenly go from kind a normal /healthy food 1000 kcal a day till 200 for 20 days?
/u/ContinueRepeat [5ft8| 70.54kg| BMI 23. 4 |1.5kg | F]
Created: Sun May 8 11:21:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ifelf/what_happens_with_your_metabolism_weight_when_u/
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Will I lose more(because deficit is bigger) or is my metabolism getting slower and saving up all calories?
And what if u stop eating for a whole week? Experience? Wanna loose fat, no muscle or water.

---

[Discussion] How to know youve lost it
/u/Jitterly [163.5 cm | 48kg | 17.96 | F]
Created: Sun May 8 11:15:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ifdpc/how_to_know_youve_lost_it/
---
Sorry for no flair, mobile.

Anyway, yesterday I treated myself to a small cajun fry from Five Guys. Aside from the the cantaloupe and grapes I had for breakfast, it was the only thing I ate that day. Im used to big servings of low calorie foods, so later on that night I got really hungry, but I avoided food! :) Except I ended up having a dream where I binged. I ate a shit ton of greasy foods then had to log it all into myfitnesspal. It was terrible, upsetting, and 3000 calories on top of the 800 I had that day. I was so upset.
So I guess I've really lost it, because this is one of many binge related nightmares Ive had. Can any of you relate to these literal food nightmares?

---

[Thinspo] Themed Thinspo #1 - Nike
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 8 11:09:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ifcst/themed_thinspo_1_nike/
---
http://imgur.com/a/qSBlC

---

[Rant/Rave] If it ain't broke don't fix it.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Sun May 8 11:03:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ifbwj/if_it_aint_broke_dont_fix_it/
---
So I tried keto this week and it was nice at first, but now I can't stand it. I haven't had enough fibre in my diet, meaning very few BM's, *meaning* major weight fluctuations. Seriously, I can't stand this. I was doing much better when I was still eating carbs (and I mean, super carby carbs like bagels) while restricting and my weight loss was linear, despite a few plateaus. But plateaus are better than my weight skyrocketing up 1.2 pounds overnight!

Anyways, I'm just going to go back to eating carbs, doing what I was doing at the start of my relapse. Also, the lack of carbs is really fucking with my horse riding. Horse riding is difficult enough while restricting but I feel like, as an athlete, I need carbs to perform well. Plus, I'll be able to restrict lower now that I won't be focusing so heavily on fats. I'm also going to stop counting macros, which will be hard, because it's so easy to check macros on MFP and I know I'll stress about it if they aren't close to being right. Anyways, just needed to get that out there. I love you all so much.

---

[Other] Motivation
/u/unleash_the_obeast
Created: Sun May 8 10:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4if981/motivation/
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Meeting someone who could very well be my end all be all. I have 13 days to slim up as much as possible. I'm definitely on the heavier side, but as long as I'm not Too fat in his eyes everything should be OK. I'm so nervous, though. Luckily tomorrow is the last day of my finals! So I can focus extra hard at the gym and on my diet.

---

[Tip] For anyone stuck in a binge cycle
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun May 8 10:06:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4if3mg/for_anyone_stuck_in_a_binge_cycle/
---
I was in there for 3,5 weeks and I decided to up my intake to 800-1000 and it has worked so well. I've lost the waterweight and even though I've gained 3 kgs over those few weeks at least I'm in control. When I feel steady I will drop back to 600 max a day again.

Just wanted to tell everybody because I feel happier now and ready to get that summer body!

---

[Rant/Rave] Coffee fasting today, unfortunately.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Sun May 8 10:04:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4if39f/coffee_fasting_today_unfortunately/
---
I really don't like coffee fasting anymore because coffee is so acidic and lately I've become really sensitive to acids. I ended up having 605 calories instead of 415 because I had some tequila. But this morning my weight was 1.2 pounds higher than yesterday! I'm trying not to take this too seriously since I've basically had no BM's in the last 2 days. But I'm going to coffee fast anyways to see if that helps at all.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun May 8 10:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4if2zv/daily_food_diary_may_08_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 08, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Goal] I'm so proud of myself!!
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Sun May 8 09:34:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iez46/im_so_proud_of_myself/
---
this is my first post here & I'm sorry for no flair I'm on mobile!

3 years ago I was broken up with on my bday and a bunch of other shit that triggered me to just binge and binge without abandon. I gained over 70lbs in those 3 years and FINALLY for the first time since then I've LOST WEIGHT. I've been trying so long to break my binge cycle without being lost to restricting and I admit sometimes it's so hard to not let myself restrict but I'm working on it. I've only lost 3lbs but I'm so so psyched. shout out to Fitbit for making working out WAY EASIER too!!

ugh I just have no one else to share this with. I made my gf now promise she wouldn't indulge my weight talk because I don't want to make our relationship toxic in that way or make her worry

---

[Discussion] Anyone else getting married?
/u/katiejay_ [5"9 | Godzilla | BMI 26 | F]
Created: Sun May 8 00:01:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4idipr/anyone_else_getting_married/
---
I have my dress. It's too small. I sent them my old measurements from about a year ago so I could lose a little bit of weight, didn't realize just how much weight I had gained with a change of job that means I'm sitting 9hrs a day instead of standing/walking around constantly. My dress is now about 2 sizes too small, with 6 months to go. My goal is not weight related, it's just to fit into this damn dress at this point!


I'm most worried about looking shit in my wedding photos forever. What are you most stressed about?


*Sorry - I just posted this off my actual account before I realised my mistake and made a private account so I can talk freely*

---

Any other brides to be here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 7 23:46:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4idhbd/any_other_brides_to_be_here/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Weeeelp. Binged!
/u/Pipoen [5'9"| 139.3 | 20.6 | =^u^=]
Created: Sat May 7 23:10:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iddtx/weeeelp_binged/
---
I had my first binge in nearly a month last night after updating food logs and after I should have just been sleeping.

Ate at maintenance, but still too Bingy for me. I fasted today by some miracle, but I have to eat for Mother's day tomorrow.

Time to reset my 'cheat free' goal! 29 days was good, but I can beat it!

What should I expect over the last few days? How do I recover?

---

[Rant/Rave] Ah, I have to get this off my chest. I can't be alone with it anymore.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.6 | LOST 38lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 7 22:30:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4id9kl/ah_i_have_to_get_this_off_my_chest_i_cant_be/
---
I wish my family was dysfunctional. I mean, my family is mildly dysfunctional. There is definite drug addiction, other eating disorders, brinks of divorce, dementia, depression, abuse. But...my family loves and supports me. They think I'm smart, pretty, worth something.

I want to die.

They'd never know. They'll never know.

I'm wine drunk. I'm sorry.

I'm so alone. With this. You know what I mean. The obsession. I could say a million more words regarding the obsession but...you know what I mean already.

I'm tired, I'm done. I'm not allowed to be done though.

I would jump off a bridge. It's the least messy, the most anonymous. I'd call 911 and tell them they'd find a body right before I'd jump. I'd tell them the exact location so that trained personal could find me and not a pedestrian. I don't want to ruin anyone else's sanity or life. Every other method is too messy, not guaranteed, or someone would find me and they'd be destroyed. I don't want that. I just want to vanish.

That is, if I could. If it wouldn't destroy my family. I fantasize about it constantly.

I'd get drunk and high, put my ipod in on an ethereal song, put my headphones on full blast, and just fall away. If I got inebriated enough, it'd be like a dream, and I wouldn't have to wake up.

In the middle of the night, with minimal cars and no people around to see.

I'd clean my room to perfection, clean out my belongings so my loved ones wouldn't have to, and leave a beautiful, consoling letter in plain sight.

I won't do this, I simply cannot. I have younger family members (ages 5, 8, and 12) that NEED me. I'd also never do this to my parents. Or my best friend. I'm all she has, she's all I have. I'll suffer this existence for THEM. If I can't do it for me, I will do it for them. No option.

But the ideation is so present, so real, so calming, and so persistent.

Its just that....every other form of depression can "lift" as you age. But ED....it'll never lift. Its me. Its in the fabric of my being, its my personality. I am ED. By choosing to stay alive, I'm choosing to forever be obsessed. Idk. People could argue that logic but...I just don't buy it.

Just venting.

Thanks. I love you guys. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for me.

---

[Tip] TX EC stackers
/u/space0ddity [5'1 | 128.7 | 25.40 | -17.3 | F]
Created: Sat May 7 19:36:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4icpxi/tx_ec_stackers/
---
$2 off Bronkaid @ HEB. Coupon in mobile app.

I'm breastfeeding & can't take advantage of this now but thought I could share. On the plus side I'm literally leaking calories all day!

---

[Rant/Rave] Ate so much my stomach is like a basketball
/u/whenigettomoab [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 EWWWW | F]
Created: Sat May 7 17:33:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ica40/ate_so_much_my_stomach_is_like_a_basketball/
---
Hi everyone. I'm in a really bad place right now and I need some support and maybe advice if anyone has it. Also, mobile, so no flair, I'm sorry! I guess it's a rant though.

I've binged so badly the last three days or so. I've eaten well over 10,000 calories in those three days, probably at least 12,000. I have no idea why. I mean seriously I cannot point to any excess stress or anything like that. I feel so physically miserable. My stomach is protruding even though it is normally essentially flat, and it is hard as fuck. It is one of the least comfortable things I've ever experienced. I want that feeling to go away but it's stuck there reminding me about all of the progress I've ruined. I haven't purged since I was 15 though and I'm not about to start again, although I am mighty tempted. Not that it would help because so much of it was like two days ago.

I'm committing to one protein shake a day and that's it for next week but I have no idea what to do right now. I'm supposed to go for a run but it feels like there is a basketball strapped to my stomach. My self loathing is at an all time high and I just don't even want to exist anymore let alone go to my friend's birthday party tonight or to brunch for Mother's Day tomorrow. I don't get it and I just hate it so much.

So, any advice?

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[Goal] I have 45 days
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Sat May 7 16:56:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ic571/i_have_45_days/
---
I just made an appointment to get a tattoo. It's in 45 days. I'm planning to get it on my hip. Which means I have actual, real incentive to lose, say, 15 pounds.

There is no way, I'd ever be able to pull my pants down for a tattoo guy right now. I feel like I'd totally feel great about it if I were 15 pounds less. I'd be able to tolerate it if I were 10 pounds less. Anything less than that, I'll probably cancel.

15 pounds in 45 days. Here we go.

---

[Help] My SO fat shames me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 7 16:09:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ibz2w/my_so_fat_shames_me/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] at what bmi did you guys start seeing changes in your face?
/u/letmebedefamed [6'2 | 144.8 | 17.39 | M]
Created: Sat May 7 16:02:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iby6g/at_what_bmi_did_you_guys_start_seeing_changes_in/
---
i'm just so tired of this. i've always had a fat fucking face, round, chubby cheeks, just a disgusting shape. from what i've seen and read on mpa the common answer is generally around 16-17 but it just seems so hopeless for me and i'm not sure if i'm just wasting my time chasing something that i won't ever be able to have. i have very prominent collarbones and ribs but my face just feels like it'll always be gross, it just feels like it'll be stuck that way no matter how much more i lose.


also, i'm new here so hi friends.

---

[Discussion] Should I count alcohol calories??!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 7 15:45:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ibvs8/should_i_count_alcohol_calories/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Stopped purging but haven't stopped binging
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 128.0 lbs | 26.5 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Sat May 7 15:41:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ibv7z/stopped_purging_but_havent_stopped_binging/
---
The past couple of months have been hell for me. I got to my lowest weight of 115 somewhere in March (the weight I started high school). I was so happy and so proud of myself.

I don't know where I went wrong but I'm hitting 131 now. And I can't stop eating now. I don't even purge anymore, I just keep eating. There's always some sort of food in my hand and I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I managed to do a 24 hour fast a week ago (unintentionally) but I haven't been able to do one since. Even my workouts aren't nearly as effective and I'm no where near as fatigued by the end of them.

I'm so sorry for this mess. I just needed somewhere to rant. I'm hoping this is cathartic enough that I can restart. I just look so fat in photos, and in real life.

---

[Goal] 23" waist!
/u/princecalorie [BMI: 20.23 | Vegetarian | M]
Created: Sat May 7 14:46:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ibnmj/23_waist/
---
Well... *almost*.

23.8" inch waist.

I'm still very, very happy! How did I get to that at 5'3", 50.4kg? I don't know, but I did.

---

[Discussion] RE: updating my flair
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sat May 7 12:45:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ib6kt/re_updating_my_flair/
---
I've got two updates to my flair and neither of them make me happy. But you know what? I surprisingly feel ok. It turns out I'm an inch *shorter* than I thought. I'm also back up by about 8 pounds from the last time I was posting a lot. I got stressed with finals about 3 weeks before it all started, and just turned to binge eating. I ate my way up from 135 to 143. Then my mom took me on a cycling tour. I thought it would be a great way to get in the extra exercise and work the weight off. But the level of exercise was physically draining, and I was surrounded by other people for every meal. And they all hounded one another about food. "you need to eat to bike like this", etc. I know those are all excuses. But to me they're also reasons; I'm not trying to escape accountability.

So I got back home, and I was 145: I wanted to die. That was also the time that that article came out, about how metabolisms get shot and set points are real and all that fatlogic. Thank god sanity came right after, but I had a rough couple days and worked my way up to 147.9, thinking "oh, what's the point". But fuck it. I'm so fucking done. I've been on my shit for the past 5 days, and I weighed in this morning at 142.6

I'm not happy with that number, but I'm comfortable. My LW is 133. I'm fighting desperately to get back there. I fasted (70 calories in coffee creamer) on wednesday and thursday, worked out and did well with food on Friday, and today is restricting to less than 500 (I have fruit that I don't want to go bad, and I'm ok with 500). Tomorrow is mother's day, and it's a tradition that we go to this brunch that's essentially just a really fancy buffet. I won't eat the rest of the day, and I'll make sure I absolutely load the crap out of my plate with only veggies. Then, if there are still people eating, I'll get an egg white omelet. and the day should be less than 800/900.

Sorry, the end kind of trailed off there. But yeah. I'm back, and I'm going to fucking do this. It's actually really exciting. I have all summer; my body won't know what hit it.

---

[Help] How to avoid a binge before it happens?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Sat May 7 12:17:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ib2fj/how_to_avoid_a_binge_before_it_happens/
---
My parents are so sweet and they brought home some french loaf for me to eat. Thing is, I love bread, and I know I'll eat it all. How on earth do I avoid binging on it while they're not at home?

edit: i ate some in front of them bc i kind of had to but i think it was a reasonable amount? i've stayed away from the kitchen so far and it's going a lot better than i thought it would. ate a ton of greek yoghurt and berries for dinner so i'm still relatively full, am going to go make a cup of tea now. wish me luck

edit: i'm in bed, no bread binging for me today (thank god, let's just wait til tomorrow rolls around)

---

[Other] Heartbreak: the ultimate appetite killer
/u/LittlestBear [5'7 | CW: 155lbs | GW: 115lbs |F]
Created: Sat May 7 12:00:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ib01e/heartbreak_the_ultimate_appetite_killer/
---
Recently was told by a long time friend and FWB that he never had any feelings for me (despite having told me he loved me, wanted me to move in with him, really intimate stuff), was just playing a game to keep using me for sex, and only wanted to 'coexist' in the future. We had been hooking up for almost 3 years, I was completely in love with him (which he knew) and really felt like I was making him happy and appreciated. Turns out I was just some holes he liked to play with and he only valued me for my sexual skill and availability.

I'm obviously devastated, but the silver lining is that my appetite is completely gone. Before all this, I was doing well and losing slowly by restricting to between 300-800 calories/day, but now I'm not really eating anything. Food looks like....office supplies or something, not like anything I should eat. The first two days afterward, I ate nothing but whiskey, but my body's had enough of that and I can't even drink alcohol without getting sick.

Ten pounds down, got to update my flair, my clothes fit better, and I'm more motivated to keep restricting to get to my goal weight! I guess fuckboys do have their uses.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat May 7 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iaios/daily_food_diary_may_07_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 07, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] I don't have to eat this weekend!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 7 09:49:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iagv2/i_dont_have_to_eat_this_weekend/
---
[deleted]

---

[Goal] Holy shit, YES!!!!!!!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 100 | 16.2 | F]
Created: Sat May 7 09:44:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iag7y/holy_shit_yes/
---
http://i.imgur.com/vBFCMQk.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] This is grueling.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Sat May 7 09:21:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4iad3n/this_is_grueling/
---
So on Monday I was 112.6 and I was stuck at that weight for three days. Then somehow, despite restricting, my weight skyrocketed to 113.8 on Thursday. Then yesterday it went back down to 112.6. And today it's 112.2. What the fuuuuuck. I am *so* close to my lowest adult weight of 111 but so far. I feel like it's a sign from the universe to stop restricting and get my shit together. But I can't stop. Like the idea of being "normal" with my eating is so foreign to me. It's been 20 days since I've eaten any non-safe foods. I can't even imagine eating normal quantities of food, or even upping my intake to like, 800 calories a day. I think I'm going to do a protein shake fast tomorrow worth ~300 calories to see if that helps at all. I really wanted to be 111 point something by Monday. Gah.

---

[Help] Is going Keto worth it?
/u/Chaosncalculation [5'4" | bulimic whale | -7 | F]
Created: Sat May 7 08:44:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ia84t/is_going_keto_worth_it/
---
Does it help you lose more weight than just restricting alone?

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[Discussion] Hey hows it going?
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Sat May 7 08:11:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ia46e/hey_hows_it_going/
---
I havent really reached any goals in a while. But I havent gained in a while either. I work today but I feel like I'll be able to restrict easily. Im in a good mood. How about you, are you having a good day?

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[Other] If this isn't motivational I don't know what the hell is :)
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sat May 7 06:30:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i9t9s/if_this_isnt_motivational_i_dont_know_what_the/
---
http://i.imgur.com/TyQ4avV.png

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[Help] I might have an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy
/u/imurchen [5'2 | 20.5 | F]
Created: Sat May 7 05:20:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i9n0m/i_might_have_an_unhealthy_obsession_with_eating/
---
So a while ago, I decided to take care of myself and eat healthier + exercise ( I do BBG by Kayla Itsines, but am not happy about my progress). I was already eating pretty healthy, but to see results I decided to track my macros and count my calories. I'm now at a point where if there is something a bit "unhealthy" (like chocolate for instance) in a healthy recipe, I feel bad and feel like I'm going to lose my progress. I get angry towards my family for not eating healthy enoug. I tend to overexercise when I feel like I haven't eaten healthy enough. I just want to cry whenever I think of what I eat because I think that's it's not healthy enough. All of my friends and family think I'm skinny enough and that I restrict myself too much. Is it a sign of orthorexia? If yes, what can I do without alarming my mom? Thanks

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[Rant/Rave] So it's a warm day in my country
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat May 7 04:11:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i9haf/so_its_a_warm_day_in_my_country/
---
Time for shorts, cute dresses and all. I tried on everything in my closet and now I'm crying in bed. How is it possible that I've lost 22 pounds and still look this terrible in every, fucking, thing. What will another 20 do when I still look like complete garbage. Fuck.

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[Help] How do you stop yourself from relapsing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 7 03:43:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i9f4m/how_do_you_stop_yourself_from_relapsing/
---
[deleted]

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Chronic pain.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat May 7 03:36:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i9elm/chronic_pain/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] I feel like I'm at a point of no return, but that's not a bad thing.
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 22:52:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i8r62/i_feel_like_im_at_a_point_of_no_return_but_thats/
---
Today, I realized I'm in this all the way. I've had periods of doubt of whether I could fully relapse into heavy restricting, but after a few weeks of consistently using the EC stacks to limit my appetite, I can't see myself going back to eating normally again anytime soon. I had a Arby's sandwich with some potato cakes and an iced tea and normally I'd be over the moon about it, but I was just so grossed out over the 700cals or so that I ate and didn't even enjoy that much, that I just don't see myself eating that much again. I'm glad I got that out of my system though, since it helped anti-diet me for fast food for a long time. I have only been eating about 700-1000cals per day, so it was weird to eat my daily intake in a single meal. I'm going to San Diego in a week or so and I'm not even looking forward to bingeing on Mexican food or anything, just sticking with it while I'm on vacation. Running is easier with practice and with about 8lbs less of mass. Sometimes I had doubts on whether I could stick with this or not, but now I'm sure. Wheee!

---

[Goal] I just put my scale in the trunk of my car.
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Fri May 6 21:37:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i8j7x/i_just_put_my_scale_in_the_trunk_of_my_car/
---
I'm glad I didn't buy a new one this week as I had been planning to do. I have to break the habit of getting on my scale six friggin' times a day.

Once when I get up. Again when I get home from work. Again before my run. Again after my run. Again after dinner. Again before I go to bed. Am I insane?

The fluctuations are driving me crazy. And for the last 9 (?!?!?!?) weeks I've only been fluctuating within the same 2 pounds (minus the one time I had the HUGE binge and went up 5 fucking pounds for 5 fucking days).

I can weigh Monday mornings and Fridays mornings and that's it. Period.

Can't deny that my body is smaller (measurements are all smaller, I'm fitting into much smaller sizes and my runs are much easier) but this scale thing is giving me a complex. Plus I still feel like I look exactly the same. Ugh.

Send good vibes that I won't fish it out of my trunk first thing tomorrow morning!

---

Is there a subreddit to share your own losing weight pics? Anonymous of course
/u/ContinueRepeat [5ft8| 70.54kg| BMI 23. 4 |1.5kg | F]
Created: Fri May 6 21:30:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i8ig7/is_there_a_subreddit_to_share_your_own_losing/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i8ig7/is_there_a_subreddit_to_share_your_own_losing/

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[Discussion] Just wanted to say....
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Fri May 6 20:58:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i8enw/just_wanted_to_say/
---
You all are so amazing and sweet. I'm so glad I found this subreddit. I've needed something like this throughout my entire disorder and I'm so grateful to have such an understanding place to turn to when I need it. Please message me or comment and let's be friends!!!! :)

Stay strong you beautiful souls!!!! <3

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[Help] What do you do when you're not mentally satisfied with what you're eating?
/u/Astroyeti [5'4.75" | 99.2 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 18:38:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i7xnw/what_do_you_do_when_youre_not_mentally_satisfied/
---
I don't know how to word this, but much of the time, I can go without eating for hours on end just by forgetting. Many occasions I've gone so long that I nearly passed out or I stopped feeling hungry altogether. For some reason though, for the past week, I've found it hard to stop eating and I'm trying to keep myself accountable, but it's so hard to when I've eaten so past my limit, and if I count the calories I ate extra, I'm limiting myself so much the next day and the cycle repeats. I've had it happen before but couldn't stop it then, either. The thing is that I'll eat a large meal and won't feel physically hungry, and food won't be on my mind, yet I end up munching on crackers or candies. It's bothering me because my weight has gone up by three pounds because of this and I was hoping to have lost another pound by now..

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[Discussion] What are things you should say to someone with an ED?
/u/clurrance [5'6" | 114 | 18.5 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 18:15:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i7usk/what_are_things_you_should_say_to_someone_with_an/
---
There are lists all over the place about things not to say to someone who has an eating disorder. But I bet we have things we'd like to add to the list.
What do people say (on accident, on purpose) that they really shouldn't say?
#1 in my book is "You look healthy."
Edit: Oops the title. things you should NOT say to a person with an ED. Although, if there is something that you should say, let me know haha.

---

[Rant/Rave] BP'd again...like an asshole.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 6 15:23:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i772n/bpd_againlike_an_asshole/
---
I fucking hate BPing. Not because its gross and detrimental, but because it throws off my calories for the day. Short of sticking my hand in the bowl and examining the contents, I really have no idea what came up and whats being digested.

Tallied, the binge comes to about 1680. I know the sandwich is gone (420) as are the pretzels and hummus (250), but beyond that I'm clueless. I inhaled about 5 protein bars; some came out, some stayed, but I don't know how many! Same goes for the trail mix. AAARRRGGG.

I wish I could BP something easy, like ice cream, but my binges are always centered on something a.) within reach and b.) and what I'm craving. Unfortunately I never crave ice cream, I'm more a savory gal (nuts, meats, cheeses, etc).

If I could skip dinner, I'll be ok. Tonight its left overs, so I'm fairly confident I can skip out ("oh, I split a big lunch with the receptionist") but I will get hungry later, the question is, can I avoid snacking on rice cakes and almonds?

Fuck this period shit, man, I know that binge was a response to it.

---

[Rant/Rave] Possible anorexic at the store made me take out everything from my basket.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Fri May 6 14:35:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6zbn/possible_anorexic_at_the_store_made_me_take_out/
---
Every weekend ever since October I come to the capital of my country to attend architecture lessons (for the upcoming exam that'll get me in Uni hopefully wish me luck!)

Naturally, my parents give me money to spend. Every Friday evening, upon arrival, I go to this supermarket to buy things for the weekend. Seeing as I'm doing such good progress at architecture and it's so tiring, I let myself have cheat weekends (binge weekends basically).

Here I am, with my basket, deciding between a bag of 10 croissants (half chocolate half plain) and a bag of 4 plain croissants. I take the 4 plain ones, because I'm trying to lose weight, duh. Then there I am, deciding between expensive muffins and cheap muffins. Expensive ones, because more expensive means more healthy and I'm trying to lose weight, duh. Later on you'll notice me deciding between waffles and fucking- you get the idea.

At the cereals aisle, I see *her*. It's hard for her to pass unnoticed, she's a storm. She's taking determined strides about the place, grabbing at bags of tasteless flakes, throwing them back as if she's indecisive, but the look in her eyes tells me she knows very well what she's doing. Such stoic, set eyes! She looks like something out of /r/proed, with long, stick legs in black-transparent stockings and something over-sized on top (I was afraid to stare for too long so I can't tell for sure).

Her basket, I *needed* to see her basket. I kept pretending to look around and managed to actually take a good few peeks like the creep I am. Yogurt, flakes, sesame&honey bars, fruits, other various types of flakes (or seeds, as I said I only peeked a handful of times). And then- instant coffee packets. No, not a handful of packets, an entire *box* of instant coffee packets.

Well shit.

And then I instantly took each item from my basket and placed it back. As she stormed about the place, she at one point gave me a look. She must've noticed, and I must've blushed, but I looked away (still afraid to look at her she was so perfect).

At one point I was pretty much peeking from around a shelf, watching her from afar as she looked at the diet/sportive/bio section.

In the end, I bought: two peanut&honey bars, a box of dietetic cookies, a box of almond milk, 4 green apples, bbq crunchy nuts, and two instant coffee packets.

Approx 2000 calories for this weekend. As opposed to what used to be... let's, uh, not go there. Seriously.

.... I know this sounds like a silly novel or something. I'm a writer so it must be from that, but really, I didn't exaggerate anything. She was a literal walking proed. It... was the wake-up call I was waiting for.

Here's a pic of my proud purchase, minus the almond milk which is in the fridge. And then a pic of my legs being all architectural. Hopefully it'll one day be that before pic. You're my witness.

http://imgur.com/a/NwG4M

---

[Thinspo] The big change of Instagram accounts with your progress and thinspo
/u/ContinueRepeat [5ft8| 70.54kg| BMI 23. 4 |1.5kg | F]
Created: Fri May 6 14:27:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6y37/the_big_change_of_instagram_accounts_with_your/
---
Is that allowed? Otherwise please block this post. Or kick me off here.

---

[Rant/Rave] I've binged badly.
/u/Miss_Embie [5ft6 | 139 | 22.4 | -14 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 14:26:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6xwx/ive_binged_badly/
---
So today my chinchilla, Gizmo had to go for his dental operation this morning I think it was roughly his 5th one of the year before they decided to remove all this teeth, but he didn't wake up from the operation, so he sadly died.. part from my SO, Gizmo was the only other *man-nimal* I needed in my life. Now I can't stop eating and I'm not even hungry. I don't think it's actually sunk in yet that my lil man is not coming home alive "he's being cremated and should be back with me in 2 weeks" I'm hoping tomorrow I can truly starve my self for a few days or longer. I'm to scared to even add all the food to mfp.. urgh losing pets sucks.

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[Goal] Laxative cleanse this night
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri May 6 14:14:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6vyt/laxative_cleanse_this_night/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Has anyone taken Vyvanse?
/u/rsilber96 [5'2 | 131.2 | 24.86 | 4 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 13:39:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6qfs/has_anyone_taken_vyvanse/
---
I'm thinking about talking to my doctor about this because I have binge eating disorder and I can't stand to gain another pound. Has anyone taken this and did it help? Did you lose or gain weight from it?

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[Help] I have tons of produce at home and I don't want them to go to waste!
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Fri May 6 13:11:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6lvs/i_have_tons_of_produce_at_home_and_i_dont_want/
---
I'm leaving home and coming back around Monday and I'm paranoid about my food going to waste. I have a ton of fruits (grapes, pineapples, oranges, apples, mangoes, etc) and vegetables (onions, mushrooms, bell peppers, celery, leek, cabbage, etc). My mom bought them two days ago and they're in the fridge right now. Should I use them up or is it okay if I wait till Monday? Do you have any recipes for me that's low cal?

I'm so annoyed with myself for asking her to buy that much food when I know I won't be eating much. :(

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[Discussion] Does anyone elses knees drive them freaking crazy at night?
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Fri May 6 13:08:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6leq/does_anyone_elses_knees_drive_them_freaking_crazy/
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This is my lowest weight but by far am not skinny, but my my knees have gotten boney at the sides, and at night when i lay on my side it hurts to keep my legs together, and i guess its a good thing as in my knees used to have a little bit more cushion to it and now it doesnt, but it drives me nuts!!

Does any one else have any weird issues like this?

---

[Discussion] ANTM Cycle 3 - Amy
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri May 6 12:52:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6irk/antm_cycle_3_amy/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwX_awMfgfQ

---

[Other] To my SO:
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 100 | 16.2 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 12:50:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6ijr/to_my_so/
---
How do you not know?

You can see the xylophone of my ribs down my back, the knob of each vertebrae. My sternum stands out like a spider on my chest. My elbows have become awkward bulges from the sticks of my arms. The dress you loved on my won't stay up on my shoulders anymore. My tiniest pants sag, not a single pair of shorts will hold on my hips. I have to keep a heating pad on the couch and wear sweats even when the heat is on. I get bruises from sitting in a hard chair for too long.

You don't wonder why I disappear for twenty minutes after every meal that isn't spinach. You don't ask why I've cut the long runs I used to love down to short jogs. When I get up too fast or walk too much, when I've nearly passed out from the rush of dizziness, you don’t question why. You don't think it's odd that recently a single glass of wine makes me tipsy. Not once have you noticed me dropping food from my plate into my napkin at a restaurant. Or asked why I never want to go to my favorite bakery anymore. You don't think twice if I say I'm not hungry. Once the toilet didn't flush right and you found vomit, but immediately accepted my flimsy excuse. You haven't gotten curious and looked up the new prescription bottle by our bed and realized I'm taking anti-depressants.

Since I discovered such an easy way to purge, I've dropped weight more quickly than I ever dreamed. I'm beyond underweight. But you haven't noticed at all.

Maybe it's my fault for the secrets I keep. You don't know the doctor told me I need a therapist. You don't know how low my BMI is, probably don't even know what BMI means. You've never worried about weight in your life. When I wake up crying, you hold me and ask what's wrong. How am I supposed to explain I had a nightmare that I ate cake and couldn’t purge or was sobbing because I had visions of fat glopping off my stomach?

I know you love me, you show me how much in a million ways. So how do you not realize that something is very wrong?

I'm dying to hear you say you're worried about me.

---

[Discussion] What did your ED do to your boobs?
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 12:42:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6h7j/what_did_your_ed_do_to_your_boobs/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i6h7j/what_did_your_ed_do_to_your_boobs/

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[Thinspo] I found new snapchat thinspo!
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 105 | 19.2 | -21 lb | f]
Created: Fri May 6 11:01:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i60dc/i_found_new_snapchat_thinspo/
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I don't know if you guys know about the dollskill clothing brand, but their models are teeny tiny. I recently added them on snapchat and they follow the models around during photos hoots and they look even smaller than on the website, it kills me. If y'all wanna check it out, their snapchat name is dollskill.

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[Help] I feel like I'm disappointing everyone who loves me.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 124 | 18/18.3 | -22 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 10:43:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i5xk4/i_feel_like_im_disappointing_everyone_who_loves_me/
---
I relapsed in March, **nine** years after my initial episode of disordered eating. I'm starting to feel really guilty about it and like I'm hurting the people that love me, especially my boyfriend... I feel like I'm deceiving him by not telling him how bad things really are for me. And like, I feel guilty for letting him become attached to me without knowing how high maintenance I am because of all my mental problems, emotional instability, fragility. This is a new relationship, so he doesn't know about everything yet. And like... Idk. He cried when I told him I still self harm. Because he was so worried about me. I don't want to hurt him, and I especially don't want him to leave in response to me basically wanting to end up in the hospital because I'm slowly killing myself by restricting. He didn't sign up for this. And I don't want him to feel like he is somehow responsible... but I can't stop. I moved out, I'm away from my dysfunctional and abusive family, I'm doing what I love in school, but I'm doing so much **worse** than I was last year. I feel like I'm letting everyone down... and that just makes me even more depressed.

---

[Discussion] Followup to /u/tub_o_lard's recent post: [Amy Schumer vs Ashley Olsen] at the Met Ball 2016
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri May 6 10:16:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i5t7o/followup_to_utub_o_lards_recent_post_amy_schumer/
---
http://i.imgur.com/EkHGVBc.jpg

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[Other] I haven't had a period in so long, I forgot it causes bloating, lol.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 6 10:05:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i5rcs/i_havent_had_a_period_in_so_long_i_forgot_it/
---
so I haven't had my period since August 2014. Not because I was under weight but because of pregnancy, breastfeeding, and going on Depo Provera in March of this year. I was frustrated this week because despite being on point in terms of exercise, restriction, and no binges, my weight loss has been unbearably slow. Well yesterday I noticed the tiniest bit of spotting, and this morning I seemed bloated despite an empty stomach.

aha! its probably my period (or a sad attempt at one-the first few pp periods can be kinda pathetic). I haven't had one in so long, I forgot what the prelude was like. Oh man this explains a lot-last week's unreasonable irritation at life, where and why the binges came from, the cold sore, the bloating, and the large pimple on my chin.

On one hand, its nice that I have an explanation for all this crap, on the other hand I reeeeaaally enjoyed not having a period. I was hoping the depo would kick in and shut that shit down for the next few years (like it did the last time I was on depo). Although if its just 1-3 days of light spotting I can deal with that, but now I'm officially fertile, bah.

10.5 months PP, 9 months of pregnancy, 19.5 months total of being period free. It was a nice run while it lasted.

Who knows, maybe I'll hit 105lbs and it will dry up again, god I can only hope.

---

[Rant/Rave] It's getting more difficult. (Just venting, I guess.)
/u/illbecountingclouds
Created: Fri May 6 10:04:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i5r5d/its_getting_more_difficult_just_venting_i_guess/
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The first 3 or 4 months of restricting were a breeze. Stuck to my cal limits, lost 20lbs.

Then, in February, I started hanging out with my now-girlfriend, and I eat a lot more with her than anyone else.

I'm still unhappy with my appearance, 30lbs down from starting in November, and I've been at a plateau, I think largely because I'm with her, the person who I most often break my rules around, 5/7 days of the week on average, sometimes less, sometimes more. I'm just frustrated at how my self control goes down around her, and I've been flip flopping around the same five pounds for two months now. It's infuriating.

If you've got any advice, feel free to say it, but I mostly just needed to vent at people who'd understand and sympathise--not understand, but try to help me recover. So thanks for listening. Er-- reading.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri May 6 10:02:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i5qw3/daily_food_diary_may_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] This is way way TMI but I just had to ask. Sorry.
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 09:58:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i5q93/this_is_way_way_tmi_but_i_just_had_to_ask_sorry/
---
I considered making another alt for this because its so weird but fuck it I don't care.

So I've noticed something...strange...that has been happening lately. This only happens when I am doing keto and taking primatene, so it has to be either of those or the combination of both. I know primatene kind of heightens my smell a bit, but not really by much. So basically while I'm restricting and doing the keto and EC stack I've noticed that um, basically my vagina smells sweet. The taste is neutral (I've asked my partner) but the smell is definitely sweeter. I can smell it just from sitting on the toilet, but (and sorry for this weird part also) also sometimes when I'm just sitting I'll put a hand between my legs (not as like a sexual thing, its just comfy and keeps my hand warm...) and if I smell it afterwards it smells sweet.

Please tell me I'm not going crazy. Obviously I don't mind this but I've googled so much and can't seem to find this correlation.

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[Goal] I did it! (no victory, just overcoming myself)
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 | -12.4 | 20 y/o F]
Created: Fri May 6 09:55:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i5pt5/i_did_it_no_victory_just_overcoming_myself/
---
(sorry for no flair and mistakes, I'm on mobile now)

i finally found enough courage to go in one of those 'skinny shops', you know, the ones where the largest size is a euro 38

maybe some of you know it, it is called Brandy Melville, and I've been walking past it for years I think, never confident enough to go in.

especially today, when it is quite warm and a window day, the high street is full of beautiful, attractive skinny people, and sitting across two of them in the tube just made me feel horrible and wanting to cry xP

but... today I thought, is the day, I'll finally go in! and i took a bloody deep breath and went in (i must have looked quite mental doing so)

there were so many skinny girls, all of them pretty or cool and I just... idk felt a bit old for one, as a majority of them were teens, and only a few in their 20ies like me, but also... really good...

i saw myself in the mirror, thinking 'i'm not as fat as i feel rn' and I even *bought* something! (a high waisted skirt, as my old ones are to big)

but yea, sorry for this i just had to share, and it is basically really stupid because going into a shop and buying a plain skirt is nothing that amazing, but to me atm it kinda is xP

---

[Rant/Rave] I've gained so much weight I'm so stupid
/u/depressionistaaa [5'8 | 144.8| 21.78 | not enough | F]
Created: Fri May 6 09:39:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i5n49/ive_gained_so_much_weight_im_so_stupid/
---
Spent literally the last week eating and drinking like a "normal" person (an obese "normal" person, more like). I ate literally everything. I don't know why or how it happened. I just checked my measurements and I'm back to where I was 2 months ago. All my hard work. I feel awful and I want to die. I'm so so so stupid, why did I think I could get away with this. Any mention of food now makes me want to bite someones' head off. I don't know why I'm posting this I just feel so shit.

Now its going to be summer soon and I'm fatter than I was in spring.

---

[Rant/Rave] The tiniest most petty rant
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 08:59:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i5g7b/the_tiniest_most_petty_rant/
---
But yo it drives me insane that intermittent fasting is such a THING now and apparently it's soooo effortlessly easy for non-ED people to just drink water and coffee for 23+ hours. Of course it's different when you eat more in between but I mean it's still skipping meals, sometimes a day or two's worth, to lose weight. And here I am white-knuckling to keep it to a few hundred calories spread across meticulously planned and cooked tiny nutritious meals. It makes me feel like I'M the normal one.

---

[Goal] To be at my next goal weight by 05/27, I have to eat 200 cal a day.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 08:09:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i58gn/to_be_at_my_next_goal_weight_by_0527_i_have_to/
---
So, by 05/27 (I'm going to a weekend long music festival!) I want to weight 110lbs. In the "losertown" calculator, I put in that I'm a sedentary couch potato because I can't promise myself I will make time for the gym, as stressed as I have been. So, with no exercise, I have to eat 200 cal max a day to lose 8 pounds in 3 weeks. Anyone want to help me with some recipes/meal plans to keep me on track? I can cook, but not very creative, or good at putting things together without set recipes haha I really wanna make this happen and feel the most like I'm not dying as possible lol

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm asking my bf to leave the apartment for a week so I can restrict properly.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 07:35:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i53ju/im_asking_my_bf_to_leave_the_apartment_for_a_week/
---
How horrible is that? I feel like a terrible person. That's a new low, to ask my boyfriend, who I love and want to be with, to leave me alone just so I don't have to eat food... why am I so self-destructing?

---

[Discussion] DAE use senna/ballerina tea?
/u/Chaosncalculation [5'4" | bulimic whale | -7 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 06:23:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i4ubh/dae_use_sennaballerina_tea/
---
I know I hear about it in books (such as Letting Ana Go) but I've never known anyone other than me to use it. I drink a glass after a binge or before I need to look less gross and bloated. It hurts and it's nasty but it works. Anyone else have experience with it?

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! May 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri May 6 06:03:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i4rw5/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_may_06_2016/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for May 06, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] Daily No Binge Support Thread: May 6, 2016
/u/rustyrustshackleford [5'5" | CW: 95 | LW: 85 | GW: 80 | -40 | F]
Created: Fri May 6 05:16:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i4n1u/daily_no_binge_support_thread_may_6_2016/
---
Hope everyone is doing well :) I spent all day b/p yesterday due to having a final for the most difficult class in existence. But now it's done, so it's time to get back on track. How are you all?

---

[Rant/Rave] Drunk After restricting
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Fri May 6 01:35:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i447m/drunk_after_restricting/
---
This is the first time I have gotten drunk again in relapse and oh my god it's amazing. I suddenly remember the awesomeness that I felt from fasting then drinking hard liquor. Gosh darn, I want to do this again. It's probably drunk me talking but if I fast until Friday, or Saturday night, I know I can get shit faced fast and hard. Or I know I will be drinking on Mother's day so maybe I will fast until then. There is no high quite as high as the feeling of fasting and drinking. Oh yeah, and I will be grabbing a scale when I visit my mother's. I have some old hidden ones there. So...wooooooooooooooo! I can weigh myself again.

---

[Discussion] How big are your binges?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 5 23:51:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i3v06/how_big_are_your_binges/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] Handheld Spectrometer: lets you scan food, and then tells you everything from its calories up to fat&carb percentage! (starts at 3:17 if it does not work with the link)
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 | -12.4 | 20 y/o F]
Created: Thu May 5 22:51:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i3p4c/handheld_spectrometer_lets_you_scan_food_and_then/
---
https://youtu.be/xnVORTealWA?t=3m17s

---

[Rant/Rave] Lunch with a friend.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Thu May 5 21:34:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i3g71/lunch_with_a_friend/
---
So my best friend (who also has/had/is recovered from anorexia) and I have tentative plans to meet up for lunch and shopping tomorrow since I have an appointment at the Apple Store. I am kind of freaking out. Firstly, she is really thin so she's kinda triggering-ish in a way. Secondly, since she is so thin and beautiful, the idea of eating in front of her is terrifying to me. I picked an entree at a restaurant we might go to. If I ate half the entree, it would be 540 calories. Not bad! But I'm still scared. Scared of eating at a restaurant, scared of eating an unsafe food, even if it's the only thing I'll eat all day and be 540 calories, and scared of eating in front of my friend.

I feel like I'm out of excuses with her and, having had an ED, I feel like she can see right through my excuses. She and I got our nails done together yesterday and later that day I was texting her regarding me freaking out about having to nourish myself if I horse show. She replied saying it's obvious I had lost a lot of weight in the last 2 weeks alone. So I don't know.

Part of me feels like being honest with her and saying "You know I'm really struggling and the idea of eating at a restaurant and it's really troubling me, do you think we could skip the lunch part and maybe just do drinks and shopping instead of a meal?" BUT I'm afraid that might trigger *her*.

Really, I'm just ranting. But any advice is welcome. Love you guys <3

---

[Discussion] Is anyone interested in making a kik group?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 5 21:34:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i3g6g/is_anyone_interested_in_making_a_kik_group/
---
[removed]

---

[Intro] It's so small that you almost need a microscope to see it, but here's my first tiny window of a thigh gap.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 5 21:30:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i3fq5/its_so_small_that_you_almost_need_a_microscope_to/
---
http://imgur.com/AEiy8RI

---

[Rant/Rave] Bit of TMI with my bp.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu May 5 21:08:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i3d4x/bit_of_tmi_with_my_bp/
---
Ugh I ate under 200cal today. I decided to eat pea soup (100 cal) tofu with soy sauce (100 cal), and kale (30 cal). I decided to smother it with cayenne in order to associate eating with that pain.

TMI: of course, then I felt guilty and purged. Ever puke up cayenne soup? It was wretched.

---

[Rant/Rave] Ugh screw you, peanut butter.
/u/PaperDoctor [5'4"| 119 | 20.5| -20 | F]
Created: Thu May 5 20:29:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i384y/ugh_screw_you_peanut_butter/
---
This probably goes without saying, but I just binged on a metric ass-ton of PB. I thought since I was doing SO WELL on keto, keeping under 800 kcal per day, I could handle having some peanut butter in my apartment. Yeah, no. I just finished up all my art finals and had a "small cheat day" which turned into a massive binge day thanks to my poor decision making😓... Hopefully a coffee fast tomorrow will make up for my stupid mistake!

Edit: [RANT] Not sure how to flair on mobile.

---

My stomach hurts from eating so much and I'm losing my mind.
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 5 19:44:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i328k/my_stomach_hurts_from_eating_so_much_and_im/
---
Long story short, I just baked a cake. I haven't weighed myself in a week and I feel like garbage. I want to be erased. I've been crying the bathroom at work and any moment I finally get to be alone. I feel like my life is falling apart. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and he hasn't said "I love you" yet. My stomach is so full of food right now it hurts. I don't remember ever eating this much. I'm losing control. I baked a cake.

---

[Discussion] Exception Foods/Calories
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 5 19:39:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i31jc/exception_foodscalories/
---
I have read a lot of people on here list alcohol as an exception to calories. 500 kcal of alcohol is fine if I feel fine, right? I was wondering if there were any other exception foods? I was raised around apple trees and garden vegetables so luckily enough most of my exception foods are produce. I will and have eaten entire plants to death and stuffed my face with fruits until I'm sick but don't care and don't count the calories. The one that surprises me is Redbull. Even if it's a very low cal day or nearing my uncomfortable level, I almost always will squeeze one in if it's around me and not feel guilty. There are some coffee drinks that are exceptions too: café saigon, café brevé, cupcake mocha (vanilla icing shot), raspberry hazlenut mocha, and key lime pie white mocha. Anyways just wondering if anyone else has weird exception calories that they don't really count or feel guilty about.

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[Tip] Having long, voluminous hair hides your fat.
/u/teenieluna [5'2 | x | x | F :(]
Created: Thu May 5 19:31:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i30j6/having_long_voluminous_hair_hides_your_fat/
---
Me: "Omg my arms look huge!"
/covers them with hair.
"Better."

Lol. Does anyone else keep their hair long for this reason?

---

[Help] 500 calorie diet, I have questions
/u/Dohlea [5'5" | 130lb | 110lb | Back at it again]
Created: Thu May 5 18:07:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i2p4a/500_calorie_diet_i_have_questions/
---
basic math I can't do, help me out.
I'm 140 lb right now, and I consume 500 calories a day max, how much will I loose per week & month?

---

[Goal] First run in months! Actually sticking to my goals ha
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Thu May 5 17:56:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i2nlg/first_run_in_months_actually_sticking_to_my_goals/
---
On mobile, will flair

So I have been flip flopping lately, doing well and then being like screw it I'm far too gone. Then a couple of days back something clicked. I stumbled across some old pictures. I looked good. Maybe at my lowest weight I looked kindof scary (i get really bony, which i love but thats when people get super intrusive and i hate that) but right before that I think I looked pretty dang good (never would have seen it that way at the time but meh). So I set some new simple daily goals over the past few days.

Make a meal plan and stick to it. So far, no binges.

Exercise 30 min/run 3 miles a day, every day but Sunday.

Only consume alcohol on date night or special occasions (no,Tuesday is not a special occasion. Or Wednesday or Thursday).

Weigh myself on select days a week. Don't let a plateau or only a fraction of a pound loss send me into a b/p cycle.

Today I stuck to it. Did not want to go for a run but I did it. Ate only the things I had planned at the times I had planned. No booze, no letting my discouraging current weight lead to spiraling.

It is a small win but a bunch of small wins will add up to the ultimate big one. Feeling optimistic and like I have my b/p under control and can focus on moving forward. Wooh! C:

---

[Rant/Rave] I know I just posted but I feel so powerful
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 5 16:55:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i2f9g/i_know_i_just_posted_but_i_feel_so_powerful/
---
Breakfast was half a bullion cube. Lunch: hot lemon water with ginger. Dinner? the other half of that bullion cube. And for dessert I'll treat myself to a 25-calorie mug of hot chocolate.

In addition, I walked/ran 5 miles today, did a 20-minute bodyweight workout, and spent 40 minutes doing yoga.

This feels amazing. This is a callback to college when I could live two days on a single slim jim while walking 3 miles to school and swimming an hour of laps every day. It's like my first post-graduate job when I could get through the entire day on a quarter cup of Cracklin' Oat Bran and follow it with 2 miles on the elliptical.

I scrolled back through some old pictures and was appalled at how fat I was. I cannot believe I let it get that bad just because I was happy and having regular sex and didn't feel the need to try. Disgusting. I am never, ever, letting this go. ED will be my friend. Both my shoulder angel and my shoulder devil, keeping me in huge amounts of exercise and small amounts of food, for the rest of my life.

---

[Tip] Cinco de Mayo treat for you all!
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Thu May 5 15:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i2280/cinco_de_mayo_treat_for_you_all/
---
As a cinco de mayo treat, here is a recipe for tortilla soup that is absolutely amazing.

I did the math, and the broth alone is only 82 calories per serving. And it is amazing all by itself, so you don't even really need any of the toppings! The best part is that you can easily share it with other because they can add as much cheese and shit on top as they want without messing with your low cal meal!

http://patismexicantable.com/2014/01/tortilla-soup/?replytocom=109950

---

[Discussion] Found this one on r/fatlogic - aw look how sweet this is
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu May 5 15:17:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i20wx/found_this_one_on_rfatlogic_aw_look_how_sweet/
---
http://i.imgur.com/8RRqnmk.jpg

---

[Help] Anyone gone Vegan and stuck to it successfully?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Thu May 5 14:37:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i1uft/anyone_gone_vegan_and_stuck_to_it_successfully/
---
I really want to go vegan. I disagree with factory farming, I think it's disgusting. I also have acne that I think could really benefit from clean eating. On top of that, I'm assuming it's better for weight loss? I'm just scared to try with BED, and a boyfriend that has snacks EVERYWHERE, and doesn't eat even one vegetable. Seems like it will be really hard. Any suggestions, or success stories?

---

[Tip] Halo top is my best friend
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Thu May 5 13:29:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i1j6v/halo_top_is_my_best_friend/
---
Now I can have chocolate ice cream for breakfast, stay under 600 calories for the day, and feel totally good about myself!

I also love the fact that I can eat a whole pint and not feel disgusting afterwards. No sick bloated feeling, just satisfied.

Totally worth $6.

---

[Discussion] Do you guys watch shows like supersize vs superskinny, secret eaters, my 600lb life, etc to keep yourself from eating?
/u/lightfeathers
Created: Thu May 5 13:03:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i1ete/do_you_guys_watch_shows_like_supersize_vs/
---
I also watch mukbangs with fat people (like Trisha Paytas and LaurenMaeRose). They just look so uncomfortable and the way they see food is disgusting to me. I remember watching Trisha's mukbang where she's eating KFC and I was just so weirded out by how she moans while eating and her fat logic. She was saying things like "gotta have some vegetables" while putting a ton of buttered (I think) corn on her mashed potatoes and I was just so baffled.

I feel like an asshole for saying these things, honestly.

I'm gonna try and eat only 500 cals today, hopefully even less. I don't think I can handle more after seeing a ton of greasy foods.

---

[Goal] Fasting!
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 5 12:56:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i1dln/fasting/
---
Hello my lovelies!

I'm now in hour 17 of what I plan to make a 36-hour fast and I am so happy right now! I learned this week that allowing myself broth all but eliminates the awful nausea I usually get from fasting, so I'm giving it a real go. I feel light and empty. Last night at yoga someone told me I was "looking so skinny" and if that wasn't the kick I needed to lose faster and work harder!

I may push this fast to 40 hours, but I can't really go much longer than that because I have a sushi dinner for a bachelorette tomorrow and I really don't think breaking a fast with sushi would go well...

Wish me luck, darlings! Anyone else fasting?

---

[Other] Binge free May!!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu May 5 11:51:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i12n6/binge_free_may/
---
5 May; 2 binges in..

:|

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[Other] You know you have an ED when your exciting grocery store haul looks like this. :)
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | 104.5 | 18.65 | -37.5 | Female]
Created: Thu May 5 11:28:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i0yle/you_know_you_have_an_ed_when_your_exciting/
---
http://imgur.com/wkmO5UZ

---

[Other] stuff and things: progress is slow but losing, mom is coming to visit and she might have a subconscious ED, who knows.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | ~112 lbs | 19.8 | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Thu May 5 11:11:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i0vjk/stuff_and_things_progress_is_slow_but_losing_mom/
---
uggghh I hate when expected weight loss is so slow. I've been in control this week, no binges, exercising everyday, feeling good about stuff. And I've been losing... soooo fucking slowly though.

I read that comment about water weight in the gut; it makes sense but I still need to parse it and figure out what it means to my lifestyle and how I can manipulate it in my favor.

I was looking at my weight loss graph; its on a downward trend but every week there are waves where it peaks on Monday, hits a low point Friday, and then peaks again the following Monday.

If I can figure out a way to manipulate the water-gut phenomenon, then I might be able to avoid the Monday peaks and just have a uniform downward slope.

In other news; my mother is coming to visit for the weekend/mother's day. On one hand, yay I love my mom! On the other hand, I reaaalllyy don't want to deal with any comments regarding my thinness. She's never been critical of my weight, if anything she encourages thinness (5'2" 110lbs, fat phobic shitlord). But all my life shes also made sure to say "thinness is good, but you don't want to be too skinny".

Ok, sure, but now my shoulders are bony and my thighs have significantly shrunk. When I weighed more (15-20 pounds ago) everyone (including myself) thought I was bottom heavy and marveled about where I got 'dat ass', since my mom has more of a boyish figure. But its weird, after I had kiddo I feel like my body resembles my mother's a lot more now. Its like a switch flipped during pregnancy, and suddenly I'm my mother's body doppleganger.

Which is ok, I think my mom looks good for 65 years old. Shes petite all over, has great skin, boundless energy, and gets mistaken for being 10 years younger than she is.

Anyhoo, all of this to say, I don't want her fussing over my body. *IF* she says anything, I'll a.) blame breast feeding b.) blame babyman always being on the go and c.) try to convince her of the whole "pregnancy changes your body shape" idea (myth?) and that I just resemble her a lot more now.

Another point of contention regarding her visit: can't work out, and FOOD. We already have a big breakfast planned for Sunday which I'm ok with and I'm looking forward to. However this is a special trip for my mom so she'll want to splurge on a fancy/fatty dinner on Saturday because she eats like a peckish bird during the week.

Sometimes I wonder if she has a subconscious ED, or perhaps childhood poverty and starvation imprinted on her appetite. She's never been one to eat a lot, but shes also never expressed body dissatisfaction or anxiety over calories. She just...doesn't care about food and only eats to live. She doesn't like cookies, cakes, junky food, creamy things, or the Standard American Diet. She'll go out to eat once or twice a year and get a big ass platter, but she'll pick at it and eat the leftovers for the next few days.

Since my dad passed away there's usually NO food in the house; she says that because she doesn't have to look after anyone anymore, why keep all that food in the house when shes happy eating a bit of fish, vegetables, fruit, yogurt and water. hmph. Can't argue with that. However because she eats so little on her own, she'll want something big, fatty, and calorific for dinner since its a special occasion for her.

ok, I can oblige her that I guess. But damn if it doesn't annoy the ED asshole in my head. So far my only reprieve is to go on a long ass walk with her and babyman on Saturday. The weather is supposed to be nice and she said she'd bring her walking shoes. lol oh, we're going to make those walking shoes *werk.*

anyhoo that's that. slow loss is slow, but losing! Body is starting to resemble my mom's a bit more, which is unexpected. Mom is coming to visit, yay! but she'll want to order all the food because its a special trip for her, boo. Chances are she won't eat all the food, and accidentally leave leftovers in our fridge. Hm, I'll have to push them onto my husband for EDs sake.

---

[Help] Advice for social situations!
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Thu May 5 10:33:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i0p3x/advice_for_social_situations/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Well guys, I did it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu May 5 10:33:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i0oz3/well_guys_i_did_it/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu May 5 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i0js5/daily_food_diary_may_05_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] So hungry I'm eating my cheek...
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Thu May 5 09:55:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i0ipm/so_hungry_im_eating_my_cheek/
---
I kept nibbling on my right cheek with my molars until I heard and felt them catch on flesh. Licking the spot I feel a funny taste. Then I moved on to nibbling with my canines the inner corner of my mouth, same cheek.

I feel as though it's now all shredded... Afraid to even check the damage. But from previous experience it should heal in a few days.

It's kind of tasty actually.

---

[Discussion] DAE do this?
/u/Jitterly [163.5 cm | 48kg | 17.96 | F]
Created: Thu May 5 09:20:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i0cyt/dae_do_this/
---
I used to be very health oriented, eating high volumes of low calorie foods to make restricting easier. I tried to fit a balanced diet into my calorie allowance, but lately I've been wanting junk food so much. I've been planning days where the only think I eat will be junk food. Tonight, I'm planning on having two brownies and a pint of low calorie ice cream, which puts me at just under 1000 calories for a day (along with the cantaloupe I'm planning for lunch). I've been eating more foods that aren't safe lately, but still staying in my calorie goals. I also plan on going to five guys soon and ordering the small order of spicy fries and letting that be my only meal of the day (which puts me at 900, I believe).
I don't want this to become a habit because I want to do as little damage as possible, but I don't really binge and my cravings have been insane lately and I'm not sure what else to do. I'm also getting smaller which means I'm more confident eating unhealthy things in public. I get some sort of sick satisfaction from it I guess, but I will not go over my calorie goal because I don't want to gain, I'm trying begrudgingly to maintain, I guess.

Are any of you ever like this? Also sorry for no flair! Mobile :(

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[Thinspo] Small album of assorted male [Thinspo]
/u/princecalorie [BMI: 20.23 | Vegetarian | M]
Created: Thu May 5 08:45:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i07aj/small_album_of_assorted_male_thinspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/1GUDX

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[Rant/Rave] I feel sick to my stomach.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Thu May 5 08:43:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i0726/i_feel_sick_to_my_stomach/
---
And, I mean this mentally, not physically.

I hate this eating disorder so much. I woke up this morning completely emotionally labile. All I think about is food. My day revolves around when I'll be eating, when I won't be eating, *what* I'll be eating. I planned to eat some eggs with 2 strip of bacon for breakfast (264 calories). I plan out my food a week in advance, so I knew this was coming. I had a similar breakfast yesterday? Two days ago? I don't remember. I sat down to eat it, picked at it, got up and threw it away. Maybe it was the fat that was bothering me?

So I went to the freezer, grabbed some fruit I had portioned out, thawed it, took a shower and came back to the fruit. I pierced a piece with my fork and couldn't do it. Maybe it was the carbs/sugar? I don't know, but I threw the fruit away, too. THEN I decided to make an egg white omelet with no bacon, no butter, no oil. Just straight up protein. And yes, I threw that out as well.

Nothing is safe to eat. There's nothing I want to eat. I know I need to fuel myself, particularly as an athlete, and additionally with final exams coming up. But I can't do it. I can't even get myself to compete in a horse show because it means I need to fuel myself. I hate this. My eating disorder is winning. I'm starting to pick my eating disorder over the love of my life (my horse). Eating disorders are about control, but I never thought I'd allow it to control my horse riding. I thought I had control over what my eating disorder controls...I guess I don't. I just want to lay in bed and cry all day. In theory, I have a really lovely life, but I'm wasting it on this eating disorder.

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[Intro] [Intro] I woke up this morning to find that something was missing.
/u/princecalorie [BMI: 20.23 | Vegetarian | M]
Created: Thu May 5 08:19:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4i03fa/intro_i_woke_up_this_morning_to_find_that/
---
Namely, my collarbones.

Backstory:

>Diagnosed anorexia nervosa restrictive subtype in 2009, residential inpatient stay 2011-12, discharge weight 43.4kg. Second residential stay, a few months in 2013. Pronounced "recovered" 2014 whilst hiding bulimia-type habits. Low weight somewhere in the 26-30kg range (the nurses started weighing me backwards once I hit 28kg, but I know that I was still losing because I wasn't eating the food and I was pulling out the feed line whenever they turned their backs), high weight 59.4kg during "bulimic" period. Height 159-160cm.

I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror. Usual body checks. Hands around thighs, hand around wrist. Had to loosen my belt - first bad sign. Looked up.

*No collarbones.*

I'd been avoiding ED sites for the longest time, but it looks like I'm right back to square one. I'd had a ridiculous gut for the longest time, but I blamed it on the beer and soldiered on. As long as my hands fit around my thigh and my collarbones showed, I was fine, right? Nope.

Looks like a relapse's on the cards. I'll be hanging around, giving what advice I can, losing as much weight as I can without being shipped off back to that horrific residential. I never want to step - well, be wheeled - across that threshold again.

Which means that my goal weight, however high it may be, is stuck at 43-44kg. Fuck the healthcare system.

---

[Discussion] Does anyone have experience taking pregabalin?
/u/memmh [158cm | 106lbs]
Created: Thu May 5 06:49:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hzqsg/does_anyone_have_experience_taking_pregabalin/
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I've just been prescribed it for anxiety (75mg twice a day) but I'm shit scared to see increased appetite / weight gain as a symptom. I was on mirtazapine and stopped taking it because I just could not stop eating at all (gained over 6lbs which I have now lost). I don't want to raise suspicions with my doctor by saying that I'm scared of weight gain but I really don't want to take anything that's going to just make me go back into a horrible pattern of binging. At the same time, my anxiety is completely out of control and I can barely leave my room.

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[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support May 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu May 5 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hzkva/weekly_emotional_support_may_05_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Discussion] Daily No Binge Support Thread: May 05, 2016
/u/rustyrustshackleford [5'5" | CW: 95 | LW: 85 | GW: 80 | -40 | F]
Created: Thu May 5 04:22:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hzasm/daily_no_binge_support_thread_may_05_2016/
---
Hope you are all doing well! Post any urges or triggers you are having here for support!

It's 5AM and I'm up studying for s final. About to go run 8 mi then study some more, ugh can't wait till finals are done....

---

[Rant/Rave] This week is so not going well.
/u/Shelbolovesnate [5'2" | 102.4 | 19.40 | 32.6 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 22:02:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hybk2/this_week_is_so_not_going_well/
---
Today my boyfriend surprise visited for lunch which was sweet, except he brought pizza and breadsticks. I was hungry so I gave in and ate some, and I have a purging problem, but I feel bad making him wait around forever while I finish so I wasn't as thorough as usual. I was feeling horrible about it, and then we went to the Chinese buffet for dinner!!

He went home and I began the detestable process of purging again. So, I was already upset, and then I got a text from a guy that said he wants to "fuck my brains out ;)" which due to past trauma reaaallly set me off. And of course when I get upset I want to eat, which I did.

Eat, purge a little, eat, purge, rinse and repeat. 2/3 of the way through a strawberry danish I stopped to cry for a minute about how much I hate this and I wish I could stop and how much I hate my life, and, I somehow got myself to put down the fork and go grab my journal instead. I still very much wish I was dead, and a pen and paper won't undo what I've done tonight, but I suppose it's something.

---

[Rant/Rave] "You look healthy"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 4 21:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hy43u/you_look_healthy/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] tell me about your relationship with cereal, fear food or favourite?
/u/wittywaif [5'6" | whale | -50| f]
Created: Wed May 4 21:02:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hy3yn/tell_me_about_your_relationship_with_cereal_fear/
---
i have mixed feelings on cereal and wanted to hear your thoughts. i find that sugary kids cereals (froot loops, cinnamon toast crunch, count chocula) make me more prone to binging and have a lot of guilt attached to them. i also find that if i don't binge on them, i get tired of the flavour quickly and deal with the never ending "is this worth the calories if i don't even like it?" vs. "BINGE ALL THE SUGAR" dilemma which usually ends in shame.

buuut, i've been eating more bland cereals for dinner and really enjoying them. i quite like weetabix, bran anything and plain oatmeal since they are filling but not too heavy. i find they require 0 kitchen effort and can be mixed with higher calorie things (peanut butter, fruit) when i'm up for it, or eaten plain if need be.

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[Discussion] DAE look at people you're attracted to as inspiration/motivation?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 4 20:42:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hy1ck/dae_look_at_people_youre_attracted_to_as/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Are there any vegans here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 4 20:03:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hxw2i/are_there_any_vegans_here/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] I keep getting woken up by heart palpitations
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Wed May 4 19:53:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hxulu/i_keep_getting_woken_up_by_heart_palpitations/
---
This is so weird. It's obviously because of my purging because it only happens on the days I purge, and I usually purge at night because that's when I overreat.

This happened twice yesterday. I was dozing when and I felt my heart skip a beat and suddenly I was awake. I fell asleep a minute later but it's still unpleasant. Kind of like when you're about to fall asleep and your leg twitches, but with my heart.

That or when I can't stop focusing on my heartbeat because it's irregular. Anyone had this happen?

---

Do you really lose more weight eating max 500 calories a day for a long period instead eating round 800/1000. Which us always still the half of wath I need.
/u/ContinueRepeat [5ft8| 70.54kg| BMI 23. 4 |1.5kg | F]
Created: Wed May 4 19:39:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hxsp1/do_you_really_lose_more_weight_eating_max_500/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] [Discussion] I'm glad obese people exist
/u/beautyandbeast5
Created: Wed May 4 19:35:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hxs1y/discussion_im_glad_obese_people_exist/
---
I know it's terrible but I'm glad people are getting fatter. It makes me feel better about being skinny and beautiful... I have less competition.

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Glad people are obese
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 4 19:19:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hxpww/glad_people_are_obese/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] 33% BodyFat
/u/donut_self_destruct [5'6.0" | 165.1| 26. 76 | -54. 7 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 19:01:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hxnbr/33_bodyfat/
---
Hey all. I used to post here under a different username, don't really feel like doing another intro. Suffice it to say I'm a fat fuck who thought I might try to recover.

A couple weeks ago I used bodyfat calipers to see how fat I was - so many people tell me I don't look overweight, I thought I'd see if my muscle mass really was that high and I have body dysmorphia, or if they all are too nice and/or deluded about how fat is fat. The calipers told my 25%. I weigh 166 at 5'6", and I admire body fat percentages around 18%. My calculations told me that I only had like...15 pounds to lose if that was the case.

It really upset me. I was going to have to choose in only 15 pounds whether I valued a lower number on the scale or my fitness more? Only 15 pounds to contend with my flabby arms and thunder thighs?

Then I got a bodpod. 33%. Much more reasonable. On one hand, omg 1/3 of me is faaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttt. On the other hand, that gives me more than 30 pounds before I have to start deciding between lower numbers or strength - which is a hell of a lot better.

33% fat. Fuckity fuck. I had been running a massive deficit for a while - 1650 cal/day. I was so tired, guys. I lost 2 minutes on my mile time. With how much fat I have and that 22 cal/lb of fat, I shouldn't be running more than a 1200 deficit, but I don't know if I can do it. Trying to convince myself it's okay to lose slow, to not damage my muscles and organs. It's hard, I'm sure you all know.

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[Help] I'm freaking out!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Wed May 4 18:29:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hxivl/im_freaking_out/
---
Okay I feel like a loser for posting twice within like, an hour, but something came up and I am genuinely freaking out...

I don't know if any of you remember, but my horse show in April got canceled due to the weather. It's been rescheduled for next weekend and I assumed my barn wasn't going to attend because there were other shows coming up and our main trainer is going out of the country this weekend for like 10 days.

Well, I just got a group barn email and we **will** be doing the show next weekend. On one hand, I'm happy because I haven't shown my horse since November and I love showing. On the other hand, it means I need to fuel myself properly to compete :( and mentally I just can't do that. I can't. I can't I can't I can't.

Sorry I'm being a negative Nancy here. I just can't believe a) I'm so stressed about *this*. *This* being something I absolutely love aka my #1 passion. And b) I can't believe my eating disorder has gotten *so bad* that I'm considering not doing what I love most, simply because of food.

Fuck eating disorders, honestly. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I see my therapist tomorrow and I'll talk to her about it, but until then, I'm going to be a big fat ball of stress.

I hate this.

---

[Discussion] When to stop eating before bed?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 18:11:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hxgc5/when_to_stop_eating_before_bed/
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[This post](https://np.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/4hq7e8/gut_water_i_had_a_little_revelation_about/?ref=search_posts) got me thinking about water weight. Turns out food that's still digesting holds a *ton* of water. I'm wondering what time you guys stop eating in the evening to combat this when it's time for morning weigh-ins.

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[Rant/Rave] TW: Self Harm
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 4 17:14:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hx7s2/tw_self_harm/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I saw my psychiatrist today.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Wed May 4 17:08:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hx6vb/i_saw_my_psychiatrist_today/
---
Before I start, let me just thank all of you who put up with my drunk posting/commenting last night. I can't even comprehend half of what I wrote. Something about Drake and Rihanna at one point? I love you guys!

Anyways, I saw her about a month ago for a short 20 minute session to get a refill on my beta blocker. During that session, I told her I was fine, that everything was fine, blah blah blah and I was on my way. But I started seeing my ED therapist again and she suggested I see my psychiatrist in addition. So I emailed my psychiatrist, told her I was not honest with her during our last session and am going through an ED relapse.

My session was good. I feel like she really understands me. She put me back on Prozac to help with the depression aspect of the relapse. If I don't "get better" ED-wise in the next month (our next session is June 1), then she is going to have me get blood work and an EKG done. She said she *really* wanted to write the order today, but she realized it would be too overwhelming for me. I'm **so** happy she understands *that* much and isn't being pushy. She realizes it takes a lot for someone to admit they have a problem and doesn't want to overcorrect too much because it might make things worse.

I also decided I'm going to *try* to start restricting to 500 calories a day with some fasting days here and there. Part of me is recovery minded and a huge part of me is still very much eating disordered. 500 calories is the max I can eat without feeling like shit. While it's still relatively low, it'll probably help me with the idea of reaching a caloric goal or whatever if I ever decide to fully recover. So even if I want to eat 300, I'm still going to aim for 500. Maybe I'll even have more energy to exercise!

I hope you all have had a wonderful day!

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[Discussion] ELI5: Water Weight
/u/Nonsense_Addict [5'4" | 132.5lbs | 22.7 | -2.5lbs | Female]
Created: Wed May 4 16:14:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hwxyb/eli5_water_weight/
---
How does water weight work? I don't really know how to ask this properly. . . Like, what does it DO? Is it lost easily?

Please tell me all you know about water weight (effect, cause, how to avoid, etc.)

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[Help] I feel like I'm going to binge
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Wed May 4 16:03:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hww7o/i_feel_like_im_going_to_binge/
---
I've been doing IF since the 1st, not eating before 5pm. Today was my day off and I ended up getting food at 12.

I got chicken and vegetables and ate mostly just the vegetables but it was still too early and too filling for 400cal. I then went and ate a pickle about an hour later, like 20 calories, but I feel super stuffed...and I am going to binge. I have a box of little Debbie cosmic brownie that taste like coco paste and Oatmeal cream cakes that are actually not that bad. Each one is 210 cal a peice.

I want to eat them.

I feel so sick and stuffed on good vegetables, but this bloated feeling makes me want to eat junk. Why is that?

I need someone to help me get passed this. I want to lay down and nap past it but I have shit to do today. My stomach hurts and I feel chunks in my throat - why does that trigger me to eat more, it makes no sence?

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[Rant/Rave] Even if everything else goes wrong, I still have my ED for comfort.
/u/pumpkinpieface [5'6 | 103.2 | 16.7 | -9.2 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 15:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hwq2f/even_if_everything_else_goes_wrong_i_still_have/
---
Today was just mentally exhausting. One of those days where everyone seems to hate you and make you feel worthless and invisible. Well fuck them all.

I'm still standing because I've got my little comforting bubble of my ED to keep me sane. Days like these, I just sink into a numbing cycle of thoughts of food, calories, goal weights, deficits, intake...on and on. Take that away from me, I would be absolutely defenseless. I'd be destroyed by the onslaught of negative emotions that hurt me so much more deeply than they should. I can't just shake it off, I need this armor of lightheaded starvation to take me away from everything.

Yeah, bad coping mechanisms.

---

[Goal] Self-care, treating myself tomorrow and avoiding binging.
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | 104.5 | 18.65 | -37.5 | Female]
Created: Wed May 4 15:07:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hwn5k/selfcare_treating_myself_tomorrow_and_avoiding/
---
So, I tend to binge when I am bored or tired. I will be on Day 5 of no binges tomorrow and I feel like I will be going strong. I noticed that I can avoid binging if I keep myself busy, and/or away from food. I just got paid today so tomorrow on my day off I made plans to keep myself strong! I am excited to treat myself and stay busy. I already pre-planned my meals up until Friday. I am determined to end binging and just increase calories by planning and as needed. I have had one smaller binge in the last two weeks so I am feeling really good. Anyways...

My list for my day off:

Hot yoga
Mani + Pedi + Trim haircut
Gym
Grocery shopping
Cleaning house
Meal prepping

+Going out with husband for dinner to a safe food place!! Super excited about my plans for tomorrow! :)

---

[Rant/Rave] was fasting today until my mum found out about my habit of disposing dinner. so she forced me to eat 500-700kcal worth of food in front of her...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed May 4 14:54:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hwkvl/was_fasting_today_until_my_mum_found_out_about_my/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] I'm obsessed with watching this girl eat.
/u/Nonsense_Addict [5'4" | 132.5lbs | 22.7 | -2.5lbs | Female]
Created: Wed May 4 14:04:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hwcjw/im_obsessed_with_watching_this_girl_eat/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2MeZOYwORM

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[Discussion] [Discussion] Any one else want to talk about vitamins & supplements? I'm on kick and feeling chatty. :)
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Wed May 4 13:11:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hw3hm/discussion_any_one_else_want_to_talk_about/
---
I've let myself go during the school year. But today is my last day, so I've decided this summer will be my renaissance. :) My time to refocus on what makes gives me positive energy.

My ED manifests itself in way that makes me terrified of premature aging. I want to restrict as much as possible, but I'm also so nervous about compromising my already brittle hair and paper-thin skin. After a ton of research, I've found a combination of supplements that complement each other for maximum benefit, and theoretically should allow for luminous hair, skin, and nails. :)

My morning ritual (Which these days is usually my breakfast and lunch):

* Unflavored Whey Protein Concentrate Powder, mixed w/ water

* L-Lysine

* Virgin Coconut Oil

* Omega-3 Krill Oil

* Probiotic

* Vitamin C

* Vitamin B12

* Niacin

* Biotin

* Vitamin D

* Vitamin K2

* Iron

* Zinc Picolinate

* Iodine

With my next paycheck, I'll be adding Folate (folic acid), and a powdered greens supplement (containing wheat grass, spirulina algae, chorella, etc) for some extra beautifying benefits.

That's me! What about you???? :)

---

[Tip] One way to not feel like shit post binge
/u/crapbeg
Created: Wed May 4 13:03:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hw25j/one_way_to_not_feel_like_shit_post_binge/
---
This is a bit of a weird tip, and it might not work for everyone, but after I've binged, I like looking at food porn (like the Tasty videos) because it reminds me that sometimes, food is nice to eat, and it's okay to eat it and I shouldn't feel awful.

Also makes me feel better because if my binge hasn't been too bad, I think 'at least I don't make food like this all the time.'

---

[Rant/Rave] Pear shaped mess.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Wed May 4 12:44:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hvytw/pear_shaped_mess/
---
I want to eat pears not look like them. My top half is skinny but I weigh 130, I am not skinny. All of my fat goes to my ass and thighs and I hate it because " guys like fat asses". Having thick legs and a boney upper body is NOT ATTRACTIVE. I loath people saying I'm thin because I am not, half of me is.

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[Rant/Rave] fuck periods
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 124.4lbs | 19.42 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Wed May 4 12:17:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hvu05/fuck_periods/
---
I ate four fucking buttered slices of bread last night, while my boyfriend gave me the side eye (not because he thinks I'm a glutton, just because I almost never overeat like that in front of him.) I can't stop feeling ravenous. ugh. but I still choose every motion that brings the food to my lips, I still choose to swallow.

a girl at work brought me a pastry the other day. I was sitting there talking with my boss and a couple coworkers as I ate it and i just *got up and spit out the mouthful in my mouth*. like wat. nobody even said anything.

thank you Noroeste so so so much for getting me a new scale! It's beautiful and honest and honesty is the best kind of trait to have in a friend.

I think my 'ugw' might just be to lose my period, because honestly if i end up having this genetic disorder and having to give up the dream of having kids anyway.... like what the fuck does it matter.

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Insomnia, Behaviours, Mood Swings
/u/lifetc
Created: Wed May 4 11:57:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hvqg9/rant_insomnia_behaviours_mood_swings/
---
Just spent three weeks in the USA visiting friends. It was kind of a surreal experience - being away from a scale, and a gym, and from places I'm used to bingeing, and a kitchen that makes me feel obliged to eat perfectly, basically severed my contact with my behaviours in this incredibly relaxing way. I was aware every day I was there of how relaxed I felt, and how happy I was, or more specifically how undepressed and unanxious I felt.

I don't know if it's the sleep deprivation or what, but I've been so depressed since coming back. It's been overwhelming how emotionally wrecked I've been feeling. I'm suddenly back to thinking about bingeing, and about fasting, and about obsessive exercise, and about how much I hate myself. It's not great to live this way, but to feel it all come back so suddenly feels really, really, really bad. I knew I had to be careful about coming back, so I tried asking my Dad to leave some healthy frozen meals in my apartment, which he did and which was great, but him talking about how low-calorie they were tipped me almost immediately over the edge.

I woke up unable to go back to the sleep, went to the gym and some bitch made some snarky fucking comment at me as I was going in. Being at a gym for an opening-time felt a bit like being among alcoholics waiting for a liquor store to open, in a really unsettling this way. I could tell this girl is almost certainly disordered, with how she was trying to give the impression that the Gym was hers, like this was her territory. She wasn't even in great shape tbh. Plus, the real universal symbol of the ED is surely that kind of snarky need to put other people down and hurt them? Even if we don't do it verbally, don't we all privately subject other people's bodies to everything we subject our own to?

So I don't know, working out while an emotional wreck wasn't a great idea, especially with my history, came back, slept for five hours, got woken up by neighbours talking right outside my window. Left, tried to buy something which turned out to be defective, just got fucked over for trying to return it. It was one of those moments where you read everything as so much more vicious than it is because you're on the edge, you know?

I just can't believe I got to spend three whole weeks seeing people, and eating out (!) and feeling normal and unworried and unstressed from all of this. And even feeling at the end of most days like it had been such a great day. Feeling upset or depressed felt almost alien to think about. And I've been back 48 hours and it's all I've felt since. I'm so happy to be moving to the USA in September, but I'm just coming down from the sort of relief of being away from ED stuff.

I don't know if anyone else has ever found themselves feeling that way? Like suddenly everything was OK, and you got to be normal before crashing back down? Would be interested to hear what caused it, how it went, what was nice about feeling that way.

Peace

---

[Help] I want a gym membership but I'm worried about seeming obvious?!
/u/OrchidandthePearl [5'7 | 106 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 11:45:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hvo85/i_want_a_gym_membership_but_im_worried_about/
---
I've been going back on forth on the idea of purchasing a gym membership. It would be nice to have regular access to a treadmill and an elliptical, and to do some light weight training. However, I've read horror story after horror story on MPA about users being approached by gym staff (either for being underweight, or just "you know we have equipment other than treadmills, right?!").

Does anyone here go to the gym? We're talking like a 24/hr Fitness type of environment. I can't stop worrying about it.

---

[Help] Eating isn't the problem, it's drinking when I'm out with my friends, any advice?
/u/Amieisrad
Created: Wed May 4 11:34:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hvm5p/eating_isnt_the_problem_its_drinking_when_im_out/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hvm5p/eating_isnt_the_problem_its_drinking_when_im_out/

---

[Other] TMI: I love tofu but tofu does not love me.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 11:33:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hvlzd/tmi_i_love_tofu_but_tofu_does_not_love_me/
---
And now I'm sitting here feeling grateful for this bm and the weight I am losing lol take that binges! Also I'm only at 320 calories today. Going to hit that gym asap.

---

[Goal] So my parents are gone for a few days
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed May 4 11:21:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hvjty/so_my_parents_are_gone_for_a_few_days/
---
And I've decided to go on a cucumber diet. (Yes, lol)
I can eat all the cucumbers I want and that's it. I'm never able to fast so this might work. They are crazy low cal and hydrating too! I'll let you guys know how it went down lol

---

[Other] Not sure whether to eat or not.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 11:12:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hvi77/not_sure_whether_to_eat_or_not/
---
The answer seems obvious at first: duh, don't eat. Be pretty and dainty like you've always wanted to be.

But god damn, it's so tempting to just go and get food. My English teacher likes to leave the windows open and it's so cold in here. Drinking water makes me less hungry, but it also makes me even more cold. Rock and a hard place, eh? I wish I had some green tea to keep me cozy.

All of the food around school is either unhealthy or overpriced. I have exactly $2.34 on my person right now. I could get a muffin for $1.25 (but that's 690 calories) or a croissant for $1 (250), but once I eat one thing my brain thinks "hmm, I ate one thing and it wasn't so bad, maybe I can eat all of the things!" That never works out well.

---

[Intro] Overdue Introduction
/u/belleflower [5'0" ♡ 108lbs ♡ F]
Created: Wed May 4 10:26:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hv9q6/overdue_introduction/
---
I've lurked here for a few months, and a few years back I was active on MPA, but just today I decided that I really should say hi to all of you! I was afraid to join for some reason, but you all seem so genuinely lovely and supportive, and right now I really need people like that in my life.

So... I suppose that's all for now! I'm so happy to finally be a part of a community again!

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed May 4 10:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hv5b4/daily_food_diary_may_04_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] Keto Woes ):
/u/emptymamii [5'5" | 107 | 17.9 | GW 93 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 08:55:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hutub/keto_woes/
---
Ugggggh, so I tried to start a keto diet today and it worked out terribly. I'm T1 Diabetic and as soon as I was about an hour into my morning workout my blood sugar went low to the point where I had to stop. I checked and it was 23 (that's like borderline about to pass out for people who aren't familiar).

Usualllllly, this would be simple problem that glucose tablets or apple juice could fix pretty quick, but KETO. So I had to eat like 6 tablets (30g carbs), which is almost twice the carbs I'm allowed for my keto diet each day. For some reason my body doesn't like keto at all (well more like my Diabetes doesn't), so guess it's back to the usual 500-700 cal diet for me tomorrow.

Side note: is anyone else on this sub T1 Diabetic? Always nice to know other people are dealing with this BS, too ):

---

[Rant/Rave] I've lost around 13lbs in a month and a half.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 08:12:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4humy6/ive_lost_around_13lbs_in_a_month_and_a_half/
---
But I don't see it. At all. Anywhere. I'm not any happier. I read 115.4 on the scale this morning, but I just tell myself my scale is fucked up because I don't look skinnier at all. I took measurements, but they didn't help my panicky feeling. I'm assuming this is classic body dysmorphia, but at the same time, I'm like, "what is 13 pounds? I bet I practically look the same"

It just sucks when the number seems like a decent amount to lose, but you can't see any of the benefits from it..

---

[Discussion] Anybody else super possessive about their food?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed May 4 07:36:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4huhnr/anybody_else_super_possessive_about_their_food/
---
I hate having guy friends over, they eat so fucking much. I offered my friend some of the food I cooked for lunches this week to be polite and he ate TWO DAYS worth! And the worst part is he said he wasn't even hungry >:-(

---

[Discussion] Daily No Binge Support Thread: May 04, 2016
/u/rustyrustshackleford [5'5" | CW: 95 | LW: 85 | GW: 80 | -40 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 07:30:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hugoq/daily_no_binge_support_thread_may_04_2016/
---
May the Fourth be with you! Sorry for not posting one yesterday, I've been super busy with finals. I hope everyone's day is good and binge-free!

---

[Other] I resisted free pastries AND ice cream!
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11½ | 138.2 | 18.93 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 07:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hueol/i_resisted_free_pastries_and_ice_cream/
---
My mom took me out to lunch today, and of course the place had free salad, bread and... Pastries?! Like chocolate spongecake with frosting, gawd. I was so tempted to take some since it was free (my mom was paying for it)

Then later after lunch she asked me if I wanted some soft ice cream, but I declined. Resisting free food is the hardest thing in the world for me, so this was a massive victory!

---

[Tip] I lost close to seven pounds in less than a week, because of my meds.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 07:00:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hucl2/i_lost_close_to_seven_pounds_in_less_than_a_week/
---
Pay attention to what medication you're taking. My doctor prescribed me new headache meds and told me to get off birth control for a while to see if anything changes and within a week of being off birth control I dropped almost seven pounds.

Mind you, this is with one day at 400 cal, and the other five or so eating at or above maintenance (it's been an ugly binge week for me) so it's not as if I was cutting back really hard or anything.

Granted, this is probably 90% water weight, I looked into my specific birth control dosage and yeah turns out you retain a bit of water while on it. Either way it has both mentally and physically made a difference in me. I'm noticeably slimmer this time without the birth control than I was at this weight while on it. Plus it's a great mental boost to keep me going, since I had fallen into uncontrollable secret eating (dairy queen for dinner four nights a week...)

Just wanted to offer this personal experience for you guys, I felt obligated to share with you since this community has been so supportive of me in the past.

~~

---

[Goal] I hit my ugw. I don't know if I should stop restricting right away?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Wed May 4 06:38:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hu9qu/i_hit_my_ugw_i_dont_know_if_i_should_stop/
---
So turns out my plateau problems were actually scale problems. Moved to my new place, bought a new scale, different brand, and the weight actually *changes* on it, it's crazy. /s

So I thought I was having a hard time losing weight, and was still at around 98. turns out I'm at 95.0 this morning (and that's before a BM so it might actually be lower?) Which was my ugw.

So...now what? I know logically, maintaining should follow next. Right? But I'm afraid if I maintain, and then have the occasional binge days with friends like I always fail to avoid, then I'll just gain. And I don't want to deal with that.

Maybe I should aim for my BMR, and leave extra room for going over on weekends? I mean I like how I look I think, if I lost another pound or two from going under my tdee I wouldn't complain. At the same time I don't want to have the stereotypical slippery slope problem of "when does it end", you know?

Anyone else gotten to this point before? Id love to hear what you did or how you handled it.

Also thanks you guys for all the support. It's the only reason why I even successfully got to this point.

---

[Help] scale floor surface question
/u/needsthoserockets [5'55 | 111.2 lbs | 18.47 | 21F]
Created: Wed May 4 06:31:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hu8sz/scale_floor_surface_question/
---
Hey guys. On what type of surface do you guys weigh yourselves? I moved back into my parents house and my bedroom (cork floor boards) and my bathroom (square tiles) are giving consistently different readings. I would've thought that tile would be better, but that's actually the lower of the two numbers and I don't believe it. Advice?

---

[Discussion] Other Coping Mechanisms (long, feelers, tough subject)
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Wed May 4 06:13:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hu6lg/other_coping_mechanisms_long_feelers_tough_subject/
---
I think most, if not all, of us here understand that there are deep issues, emotions, etc that go with ED's. I've seen alcohol mentioned a lot as well as some self harm. If any one would like to just throw out some of their other unhealthy coping mechanisms, they can. I just want to say it somewhere to someone so I can get this off my chest. Almost no one knows about my messed up other life.


I know that ED is a coping method for a lot of things, part of that is the joy of an empty, rumbling (read applauding) stomach, and feeling my bones to calm me down. Besides that I spent quite a bit of time trying to sink myself into video games, city builders and RPG's can waste so much time. Occasionally I will bury myself in a philosophy book. But those are the not so bad. I used to drink myself to a black out/near black out all the time. Now that I am with someone, I don't drink nearly as much, but I still drink to get drunk almost once a week and more if I'm just having a down day. Day drunk right here. As I have been putting down the bottle more, I've been picking up the bong more. If I can't get drunk then certainly I will get high. I've even sought out some harder drugs. There is no real substitution for alcohol though. Not eating plus drinking equals really gone really fast. If I am successful in staying down in weight, it's also a fairly cheap escape since I can get most of my drinks for free at bars. That brings me to my next coping mechanism. I used to use sex just for a quick self esteem boost. If others wanted my body, then my body was at least good enough for some to want it. At the bar, on dates, drunk, sober, men, women, I just slept with people to sleep with people. I can't deny that part of it is because sex feels good but mostly it was for feeling like my body had passed some sort of test. I've been in a monogamous relationship for a little over a year now and losing my coping mechanisms of alcohol and meaningless sex has been a real struggle for me. I mostly drink alone (which totally isn't a problem, right?) because the temptation at the bars. It took me so long to remove myself from tinder, OKC, etc. My life of fasting, drinking, and sex has fallen apart and it sends me into panic mode. I've never recovered from all three at once and so I'm full on relapsing into ED.

---

[Discussion] How important is body fat percentage?
/u/perfectionistlemon [165 cm | 53.9 kg | 19.8 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 04:40:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4htwpq/how_important_is_body_fat_percentage/
---
Hey guys, so I just calculated my body fat percentage (19%). This, according to some charts I looked at, puts me on the borderline between athletic/fit... which is so hilarious considering I can barely run a mile without wheezing. Anyhow, when it comes to calculating maintenance calories, is it important? If I put it into my formula I get around 2000 for maintenance but I sure am not going to eat that much, and even if that really was my maintenance I should be losing a pound a week then with the amount I eat, which is clearly not happening. Any advice/tips? Thank you! <3 hitting the gym tomorrow to find out my next weight...

---

[Thinspo] Reverse Thinspo: Amy Schumer at the Met Ball 2016
/u/tub_o_lard [5'8" | Huge Fat Beached Whale | F]
Created: Wed May 4 04:16:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4htugy/reverse_thinspo_amy_schumer_at_the_met_ball_2016/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2fXyikDr-Y
She just looks so uncomfortable. The dress is a sausage casing. She is so out of place on the red carpet.

---

[Rant/Rave] Even though I'm lying a lot, my doctor won't let me be.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Wed May 4 02:36:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4htlum/even_though_im_lying_a_lot_my_doctor_wont_let_me/
---
I met my whole treatment team yesterday. I claimed that I'm eating at least 4 healthy meals and snacks per day and binge and purge only few times a week(none of which is true), but still my doctor insisted I should go inpatient. I was like really, what the hell you expect me to do?

But we agreed that I continue attending this day treatment/partial hospitalization thing for another month and a half. I'm so fed up with this, and I said so, but the doctor said it's lesser of two evils right now. I agreed because I want them to think I'm trying to get better.

They are making this really difficult. I'm quite pissed. I just want to be left in peace and keep on losing weight but I don't know how to manage that right now. I'm thinking of buying ankle weights so they would think I'm gaining weight...

---

[Rant/Rave] I've been pretty happy with my calorie intake lately. Just need to focus on logging more on the weekends :/
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 23:08:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ht1nu/ive_been_pretty_happy_with_my_calorie_intake/
---
https://imgur.com/a/RKsTB

---

[Rant/Rave] I drink because
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Tue May 3 22:44:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hsywk/i_drink_because/
---
I can't get to sleep without it lately. And the number of calories I'm ingesting just in alcohol doesn't really help with tomorrow's anxiety.

Also, I'm out of mixer so bye bye gin. Hello $5 bottle of white wine that I bought for cooking....

Good thing I hid the cooking sake or I might have remembered that first.

---

[Discussion] Hey yall I'm having a bad day when it comes to self control ):
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 22:10:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hsusc/hey_yall_im_having_a_bad_day_when_it_comes_to/
---
But! I'm drunk(orendos?) I don't know. I'm drinking such a high calorie drink. I skipped the birthday cake (not for me, my lovely aunt) and ice cream, and bulldozed my way into cocktails that are riddled with calories. My go to drink is williams and zero. BUT it's a special occasion I guess. And I'm lonely. And rumchata is expensive....sooooooooooo....down the hatch? I mean hell. They gave me free gigantic food. Like steak and mexican beans (my uncle is from Mexico and those carrots and peppers are amazing) and the most devilish skrimp ever. I ate them. Because 1.its rude here to say no. 2.wasnt too big a portion of just beans and salad until my aunt lopped the most gigantic cow onto my plate. Also I FINALLY GOT BACK TO THE GYM. I was complaining for a month about being a pussy and no I ate nothing more than I could've besides this over calorie-d day. I did not make up for much with exercise. I ain't even going to go there. However my step dog was an angel for me when I took her out, and I was really happy to have her on the scary dark parts of my route. She's always a dick to her dad on walks lol. I'm feeling haughty yall!!! But yeah. Today's not been horrible. I FUCKeD up Drinking wise, but I shall remain in control. Fuck food. And fuck yummy drinks. Also celebrations. My ed dooms me to shit feels! Balls. Yall. Balls. Also I'm so happy even though I'm sad. I'm playing bioshock again for the millionth time and I'm getting the great chains wrapped around my leg as my next tat. Also send me music yall love if you've read this far. I'd love to listen. Stay as gorgeous as always. Love yall!!!

---

[Rant/Rave] Fuck it, I'm drinking.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Tue May 3 22:05:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hsu4y/fuck_it_im_drinking/
---
I haven't had any alcohol in 17 days. I fucking miss it so much. I'm doing keto and I discovered that tequila has 0 carbs. Sparkling Ice Water is just water + Sucralose (maybe? water with stuff ok, it's 0 cal), essentially, so combine the two and it's a *relatively* low cal cocktail. It's fucking delicious. Unfortunately, that means I've had over 250 calories extra today, bringing my grand total to 557. So basically an entire bottle of Sparkling Ice Water + 3.5-4 shots of tequila (lmao I used my Blender Bottle to measure). But the extra calories are coming from alcohol, so I don't feel as bad. Does anyone else feel less guilty about extra alcohol calories vs extra food calories? Sorry for my f-bomb dropping. I just really love alcohol, ok.

<3

---

[Discussion] Today I'm not hungry and I'm terrified
/u/DrDiagnonsense [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Tue May 3 22:04:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hstz5/today_im_not_hungry_and_im_terrified/
---
I should be under my calorie limit. I should feel empty and hungry. Like I mean, I ate a little. I ate more than usual; some sliced eggplant for breakfast and sushi for lunch and I just feel horrid.

I can't cope with *not* feeling empty. I feel like I've messed up, like the whole day is ruined. I feel like I must have way over-eaten. My calorie counter tells me otherwise but what if the numbers are wrong?

Does anyone else get this?

---

[Discussion] Bought some black mineral water for restoring electrolytes today. Has anyone else tried it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 3 20:38:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hsi8b/bought_some_black_mineral_water_for_restoring/
---
http://tracenatural.com/

---

[Discussion] Losing period at higher weights?
/u/adocovo [5'10" | 143.5 | 20.6 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 20:10:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hse16/losing_period_at_higher_weights/
---
So, my period is about six or seven days late this month. Normally I'm very regular, and have about three to three and a half weeks between each period. I track it using the Clue app, and it has now been 35 days since my last period. Now, rationally, I would assume that I am pregnant, except that I am a virgin. I know that once you get to lower bmi's it is likely that you lose your period, but I am nowhere near any sort of weight like that. During the month of April, I lost about 13 pounds, and I am wondering if semi-rapid weight loss like that has made anyone else lose their period before?

---

[Rant/Rave] Day 3 of Keto and I still can't shake the false notion of "fat makes you fat".
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Tue May 3 18:38:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hrye5/day_3_of_keto_and_i_still_cant_shake_the_false/
---
Logically I know that fat doesn't make you fat. I know that, in reality, excess calories is what makes you fat. Don't get me wrong, I love keto. I feel fuller despite eating more calorie dense foods and I don't feel bloated after eating. My stomach still looks concave even if I've had a 250 calorie fatty meal!

But then my ED brain/body dysmorphia makes me look in the mirror after my keto meal and all I see is...fat. Fat everywhere. Fat thighs, fat lower belly, fat arms. I don't know how to shake this feeling. I don't know what to do. Yet I don't want to go back to carbs, because bloating/water weight/etc. But eating fat makes me feel fat.

---

[Discussion] Phone wallpaper thinspo recommendations?
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 16:53:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hr5kk/phone_wallpaper_thinspo_recommendations/
---
Hullo everyone :)

Who's got thinspo as their phone wallpaper?

I want to revamp mine and am looking for inspiration!

---

[Discussion] What's your favorite chicken broth? And do you add anything to it?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 113]
Created: Tue May 3 16:49:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hr4md/whats_your_favorite_chicken_broth_and_do_you_add/
---
My favorite is "better than bouillion chicken base". I tried every kind I could find and that one was way superior in taste.

As I had a cup today, I realized I could add several types of veggies to add bulk without many calories -- like celery, carrots, maybe mushrooms, etc. Anyone have any good additions?

I can't stand the texture of shirataki noodles unfortunately or that would probably be a great addition.

---

[Thinspo] Reverse Thinspo: Ordering Two Desserts and Five Entrees even when they "aren't hungry"
/u/tub_o_lard [5'8" | Huge Fat Beached Whale | F]
Created: Tue May 3 16:17:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hqvwq/reverse_thinspo_ordering_two_desserts_and_five/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=resc8Fd_NQU

---

[Rant/Rave] I threw it all out
/u/definitelynotbirw [5'2" | 121 | 21.92 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 15:09:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hqdc3/i_threw_it_all_out/
---
I got rid of the nutella, the raw cashews, almonds, brazil nuts, and peanuts, the pasta, the granola, and the chocolate. Dumped it all in the garbage and covered it in soap. I feel so powerful but so delicate at the same time. Fuck moderation, fuck maintenance, I can do whatever the hell I want with my body.


Listening to Crystal Castles really gets me pumped.

---

[Discussion] Comfort Calorie Levels
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 3 15:02:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hqbo2/comfort_calorie_levels/
---
So quick story, then the point. Today I have had 500 Cal. already and I know my SO will expect me to eat at least a slice of pizza tonight. Having thought about that I just got sick to my stomach and threw up. It's not uncommon that I will get disgusted by stuffing my face and just throw up without causing it, usually a photo finish to get to the toilet or parking lot outside restaurants.

Anyways, if I eat under 400 Cal I'm proud of myself, under 700 Cal I'm happy, under 1000 I'm kinda okay, anything over that and I'm freaking out. Does anyone else have tiered systems of Calories? The different tiers kinda determine how much I fast and exercise. Just curious.

---

[Thinspo] Chubby McDonald Fish Filet and Caramel Sundae Reverse Thinspo Mukbang
/u/tub_o_lard [5'8" | Huge Fat Beached Whale | F]
Created: Tue May 3 14:50:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hq7vw/chubby_mcdonald_fish_filet_and_caramel_sundae/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Be0Q91q4xBo

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[Rant/Rave] FUCK B.E.D. SIDEWAYS.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Tue May 3 14:35:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hq3j4/fuck_bed_sideways/
---
Jesus Christ how did I let so many weeks fly by saying the same shit all over again? "Last cheat weekend, last cheat week, last cheat weekend"- are you shitting me? And then you wonder how you went from nearly 119 to 138 in almost a year! ALMOST A YEAR how do 10 months just fly bly?!?

Way to go. Do you realize you've spent 10 months constantly, and I mean *constantly* thinking of food and calories and goodies? Stuffing your face and fasting and- are you out of your mind?

Why not have your boyfriend in mind constantly instead of food? Maybe because you broke up with him like the insecure little bitch you are! That's how it all started in the first place! You starved yourself an entire summer down to 119 from 126 to show him what he's missing (even though *you* broke it off you stupid!!!!), and then bulimia and then BED and then 138.

Good, sodding, job. He probably didn't even notice shit.

.... this ends here. screw food.

---

[Tip] Holy shit Bahama bucks
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 3 14:32:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hq2gr/holy_shit_bahama_bucks/
---
Idk if y'all have a Bahama bucks wherever you are but its a shaved ice place that I used to love. Anyway me and my boyfriend were planning on going today and I was dreading it bc I knew it would have so many calories. So just now I reluctantly went to go check the nutrition info and they have zero calorie sno cones! I am so excited. Now I can have delicious Bahama bucks with no worries. That made my day so I wanted to share with y'all in case you like sno cones and have a Bahama bucks close :)

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[Discussion] For those of you that have reached your UGW, are you happier?
/u/Thehappynest
Created: Tue May 3 14:09:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hpvjd/for_those_of_you_that_have_reached_your_ugw_are/
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I'm feeling down in the dumps lately. I have lost 35 lbs so far and though I feel more confident with myself, I'm afraid that even if I lose these last 25 lbs, I will still be ugly and depressed.

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[Rant/Rave] Raise your hand if you're exercising off a binge!
/u/clurrance [5'6" | 114 | 18.5 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 14:02:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hptg8/raise_your_hand_if_youre_exercising_off_a_binge/
---
I hate running so it's the perfect punishment...I realized I could probably have the body I want and eat if I just exercised like this regularly...
That moment when you realize your ED is totally illogical..

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[Discussion] Does anyone else just have days
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue May 3 13:22:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hphph/does_anyone_else_just_have_days/
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Where you are like "oh I don't have an ED! I can eat like a normal person!" Then have like maintance cals and freak out the next morning over waterweight and be like; "hah, nvm me, back to restricting"

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[Tip] Low cal/high protein ICE CREAM. YOU'RE WELCOME.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 173.8 | 28.05 | -46.2 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 13:08:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hpdkk/low_calhigh_protein_ice_cream_youre_welcome/
---
http://www.halotop.com/

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[Rant/Rave] Denial...
/u/Phiohtrue [5'4.5 | 129.0 | 22.14 |- 18.2 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 12:50:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hp8ij/denial/
---
I've just come back from a semester abroad, so I haven't weighed myself since January. I haven't seen myself in a full-length mirror since January. I don't know what I look like anymore. I avoided the scale a few days ago that we were using to weigh our luggage because I don't want to know, and subsequently had an overweight bag because I couldn't bring myself to face the truth. I feel so fat. I know I've gotten fatter on this trip, and it kills me. Going to hit the ground running once I get home, and only after a week of restricting and exercising will I weigh myself and see the damage. fuck.

---

[Discussion] Do Negative-Calorie Foods Exist?
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 138 lbs | 22.9 | -18 lbs | F]
Created: Tue May 3 12:37:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hp4ez/do_negativecalorie_foods_exist/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWgljf6CaJU

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[Rant/Rave] Flying out of state to meet someone from online, IRL. Feeling like a disfunctional, destructive, phony.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 119.2 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Tue May 3 10:51:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hoa76/flying_out_of_state_to_meet_someone_from_online/
---

Edit: Removing the details. Leaving the TLDR.


But you know, all of this aside, I feel like a pretty normal person. And this normal person just happens to have some bullshit to deal with from time to time.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 3 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hny5x/daily_food_diary_may_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] That's it. I'm done weighing myself every day.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Tue May 3 08:05:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hneez/thats_it_im_done_weighing_myself_every_day/
---
I'm somehow up 0.2 pounds since yesterday despite having 400 calories and 0 carbs. I bought a second scale and it's reading me almost 3 pounds higher than my other scale. It's all just such a mind fuck. Also, TMI ALERT I am constipated so that's preventing me from knowing my true weight. I'm going to drink coffee to see if it'll give me a BM but even one cup of coffee always makes the scale read me at last 0.6 pounds higher. I can't trust the scales anymore.

I guess I'll try to weigh myself once a week and see how that goes. I wish I had never broken my good scale. Fuck.

---

[Discussion] Looking at Fitbits - who has an Alta?
/u/Avadakaboom [5'8.5" | 148lbs | 22.5 | -81 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 07:28:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hn8ma/looking_at_fitbits_who_has_an_alta/
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I know I've seen a few posts talking about it a couple of weeks ago and I spent a good amount of time yesterday researching. What do you think now? Have any problems with display response? It really doesn't track stairs?

to buy or not to buy? This is my mother day to myself, I don't want to get anything shitty.

---

[Help] Intro and spreading around your calories
/u/ChubbyBunny8 [5'2" | 141 | 26.72 | -9 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 07:22:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hn7oa/intro_and_spreading_around_your_calories/
---
Hi everyone, I'm new to this board and I've been lurking for a couple of weeks. My short intro: I've never been diagnosed with an ED although I've struggled with disordered eating for about 15-16 years. I lost about 50 lbs back in high school, lost a bit more in college, and kept that off until about 2 years ago. Then i gained a little, then too much, and tried to accept my body for what it was and whatnot. That didn't work out, and realizing how puffy and fat i've gotten in combination with some difficult life stuff has brought me back to my food obsessions.

Anyway, my question is, when you are restricting, do you find it more effective to eat all of your calories for the day in one setting, or spread them around? If I'm restricting and not fasting, I usually eat just lunch at work, probably 500 cals. What are your experiences?

---

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A May 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue May 3 06:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hmwnx/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_may_03_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] So I think I did something bad...and disgusting...and probably totally addicting. (Warning: long and gross)
/u/wearingmyfatpants [5'0" |119|23.2|41lbs|F]
Created: Tue May 3 05:53:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hmvks/so_i_think_i_did_something_badand_disgustingand/
---
So I've had a pretty bad day today.

Wanted to fast, but because of family stuff couldn't...got mistreated at the grocery store, went full binge mode. Thought it was fine, but then it was dinner time and *actually had to sit with the family and eat dinner* which is something we never do??? So I had a *second* dinner, and am mentally crushed because this just doubled the calories...

I move on...things are fine, NOPE...got yelled at about *other* family stuff by different family members and binged again...calorie total is somewhere around 5,000 for today.

Everyone goes to sleep. Kid wakes up crying and I have to take care of that. Day has been shit. Absolute shit. I've binged Aaaalllllll Daaaay and I can't get it together.

ED brain says you know what, you fat fuck? You don't *deserve* to be skinny!!!!! *eat more!*

So I do that.

And I panick.

Because holy hell...6,000 calories is my breaking point.

I have to get it out. I can't let this absorb. I've gained *ten pounds today* and at least 2 of those are *real.*

I've never been able to make myself throw up....I just...can't. My gag reflex doesn't work and I just spit and *nothing* has ever worked before...

Until this memory popped into my head and years ago I had been having bad heartburn problems, and the Wise Olde Internet told me to try dissolving a tablespoon of baking soda in a cup of water, and drinking it! I, in my infinite wisdom, dissolved a tablespoon in a shot glass and just shot it back to get it over with. Promptly got sick, vomited everything. Never did it again because even though vomiting =/= heartburn.....it didn't seem *better* than heartburn.

But now!!!!

So I did it...but I did about *two* tablespoons of baking soda, to be extra sure!!!

It worked....soo sooo much vomit....

But it didn't hurt like vomiting usually hurts? That cringey mouth feeling from the acid didn't happen....there was no stomach pain, and in fact it barely tasted like anything...I know it wasn't as acidic because the baking soda is a base and neutralized the stomach acids....but damn, that was.....pleasant :(

I don't even have bad breath...


I really need to get a handle on my mood binging...I think I've given myself permission to food binge when I "emotionally binge" and I really need to get out of this rut. I WAS all the way down to 113 a month ago and now I'm back to 126....and only a *few* of those can possibly be food weight. If I keep binging I will keep purging...and it is just so unhealthy, and not nearly as effective as just not binging in the first place.

Binging. Will. Stop.

---

[Help] Shin. Splints.
/u/lowgravities
Created: Tue May 3 04:38:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hmnm1/shin_splints/
---
I've got shin splints, hooray, and now I can't run for a few days at the very least. Have any of you had them-- what recovery time can I expect? Any tips for not limping all the goddamn time?

---

[Tip] Why I do it.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Tue May 3 03:20:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hmgpg/why_i_do_it/
---
Some thoughts that keep me going:


Guys will be able to pick you up without struggling.


You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight holding you back.


People will remember you as "the beautiful thin one".


If someone has to describe you, they'll say "oh she weighs like 90, 100 lbs".


Being able to starve is an example of excellent willpower.


You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.


If you eat , eat with respect , not like a fat PIG


Only thin people are graceful.



Do you want people to say "for gods sake get off me you're crushing me!!!" or "you are so light" ???



I want to walk in the snow and leave no footprints.

Saying "no thanks" to food is begging for thin

Fat people are so huge, yet nobody sees them


Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.


Is food more important that happiness in life? I think not!


Eating is conforming to everyone else's expectations.


Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food.


Food is mean and sneaky.


Thin people look good in ANY kind of clothes.


Big people sweat more and they smell bad.



You'll be the envy of all the other girls.


You won't get sweaty on hot days.

---

[Rant/Rave] Scared to go back
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue May 3 01:54:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hm942/scared_to_go_back/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] My midsection and back hurt like hell
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue May 3 01:21:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hm65l/my_midsection_and_back_hurt_like_hell/
---
Does anyone else experience this? It has been going on for a few days now and it doesn't look bruised, it just feels like it. I feel it slightly when I move around but when I press on it it hurts really bad.

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[Help] My boyfriend getting in my way.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Tue May 3 01:18:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hm5vl/my_boyfriend_getting_in_my_way/
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I love him, but he finds when I overeat a turn on. At first I felt obligated to binge around him but now we hang out more and more I eat when he's around. I want him to not worry and I've explained to him I feel guilty when I eat that much but we came up in different cultures. Even if I say I don't want to eat he will order a pizza and buy cake and I end up eating half of everything. I feel disgusting and I don't understand why he likes it. He says if I feel so bad about it we can work out together... help me please guys. I can't tell him I have disordered eating.

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[Thinspo] Male thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 2 23:46:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hlwn4/male_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/hviI9mH.jpg

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[Discussion] Am I the only one...
/u/AlternateVision
Created: Mon May 2 23:32:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hlv31/am_i_the_only_one/
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Who doesn't idolize other underweight people's bodies?

I think I have body dysmorphia, because my BMI is almost underweight, yet all I can see it fat.

But on other people, I feel I have a clearer picture of what is healthy. Maybe it's because I'm bisexual? I do generally like smaller frames, even BMIS that are slightly underweight, but I don't idolize an /extremely/ thin physique.

---

[Help] Back on the (lap)band wagon.
/u/somanybigbutts [|5'6 | 104.5|16.19|F|]
Created: Mon May 2 23:28:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hlunr/back_on_the_lapband_wagon/
---
Sup you gorgeous bitches/butches!

I just wanted to say I missed you all, I have been avoiding this sub out of guilt since I gained 10 pounds and ultimately started hating myself.

Yes after finally getting down to my lowest weight since high school (98 pounds) I completely screwed the pooch and ate myself to death while I had to live at my mums for a few months. I have no idea how it was possible to gain that much in that time, but my dumb-fuck self managed it. Thanks bread.


I have no idea what happened, I used to be so good but for some reason my self control has gone to shit. Can someone please help me? Even if you could just send me a good daily meal plan that you follow, that would be great. I need someone to keep my fat ass in check, and in return I'll also help where I can!

I just want to get down to the double digits again, I'm back up to 107 and terrified I'll keep ballooning. Christ I hate myself right now.

---

[Discussion] Is anyone else obsessed with showering?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Mon May 2 20:34:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hl8ix/is_anyone_else_obsessed_with_showering/
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I take 2 showers a day. I especially need one after I ride, but even if I didn't exercise in a given day, I'll still take that second shower. It makes me feel clean, pure and fresh - physically *and* mentally. Before/after I shower is also the only time I'm naked, so post-shower is a good opportunity to give myself a full body check where I examine which areas are getting smaller and which areas need the most loss.

On a side note, has anyone experienced that their leg hair grows back *really* fucking quickly when they're restricting/fasting? Seriously, I'll shave my legs then within 36 hours there's enough hair to need to shave again.

---

[Rant/Rave] Had so much anxiety buying food today because of the attendant's attitude I gave it back
/u/wearingmyfatpants [5'0" |119|23.2|41lbs|F]
Created: Mon May 2 19:18:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hkwxp/had_so_much_anxiety_buying_food_today_because_of/
---
So, today I was at my local safeway, kid and husband in tow. We stopped at the deli, because we had a hectic day and husband didn't want to cook.

I didn't really want to because calories at the deli are rediculous...oh well. He gets a sushi pack, asks me what I want so I get one too. Then he wants fried chicken too...and potato wedges :( I accept the impending binge and we get the chicken. Lady bahia the counter apologizes but it'll be a few minutes, so sorry.

It's cool, lady, I'm just an emotional wreck about it.


In the meantime the Sushi Lady from the sushi counter is....hovering around me? Just acting very weird in general...*watching me* all creepy-like and it is really making me so damn uncomfortable...like, yes lady, I *know* I'm fat af for getting sushi *and* fried food...but wtf?! What business is that of *yours?* WHY the hell did she have to come around the counter and *stare* at my cart? And fucking *watch* her damn sushi trays like they were gonna sprout legs and run off?!?!

Whatever...I go do the rest of our grocery shopping...get back to counter for fried potato calorie wedges ugh. Sushi Lady does the same thing...acting strange in general. She *follows me to the register area.* and stands there awkwardly as I load my stuff onto the belt.

We keep making horrible eye contact.

I literally cannot take this shit.

I load everything onto the belt except the deli food because I pay cash for that and the other food goes on my card.

I am upset. Sushi Lady is really freaking me out. I can't handle this attention on what I'm eating *by a complete stranger no less!!!* Sushi Lady is just staring me down.

I tell the cashier I have sushi I no longer want. I can't do this, I can't eat it anymore...and I no longer want this crazy lady to have my business. He shrugs, takes it from me and hands it straight to Sushi Lady...who snatches it and leaves happily back to her counter. I pay for my food, then my deli stuff seperately, and go on my way.

I'm still kind of in shock...like, watching the hell just happened?!?!?? Did Sushi Lady mess with that sushi??? *WHY WAS SHE WATCHING ME LIKE THAT????!!!!!*

I'm not even close to underweight...I don't *"look"* anorexic...or like I have an ED at all...I'm a completely a normal weight...


And to top it off this Sushi Lady's weird attention to my plan on buying sushi sent me down an emotional binge highway and I scarfed *three* fried chicken tenders and like 2 hand fulls of potatoes *with* ranch sauce and now I feel sick, and I just ate like 3 days of calories. My insides *hurt*....I've cried a bit.


Aaaand now I have anxiety about buying food.

I need a hug *sobs*

---

A Question of Mine
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 2 17:58:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hkl0n/a_question_of_mine/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] DAE watch pimple popping to lose appetite?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1 | CW:115(-15) GW:92 | BMI 22.69 | F]
Created: Mon May 2 17:38:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hkhwx/dae_watch_pimple_popping_to_lose_appetite/
---
I'm either very disgusting or a genius, because a cyst video kept me from eating the cream cheese bagel I was craving.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so anxious over that dang NYT article
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 2 17:08:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hkd51/im_so_anxious_over_that_dang_nyt_article/
---
[deleted]

---

luv u guys
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 2 16:53:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hkamn/luv_u_guys/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I might delete this account
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Mon May 2 16:21:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hk5gq/i_might_delete_this_account/
---
This is going to sound rude, but I feel like I'm too damn old to have an eating disorder. I'll be 24 this year and I feel like I should and NEED to be focusing on my life more. Especially since food has corrupted my thoughts. I couldn't eat any more than two bites while my friend and I were eating and he told me to just eat that's it's not high school anymore. I took what he said and obsessed about it for days. Like I do with everything. Besides I'm super tiny compared to my friends and every other 20 somethings I know. I'm just going to try to maintain, and try not to gain. No more purging and definitely no more starving, as I'm doing now. But one step at a time I guess? Yesterday I went to the gym and didn't even eat at all that day. What am I doing? It's not for attention? Is being thin the most important thing to me? It shouldn't be. Questions I've been asking myself. And I've been too afraid of the answers. I'm trying my best to change, not just my ED but my depression and anxiety. I don't want to live like this anymore, and I never chose to. I want to know what I'd be like if I never began this endless cycle. Would I have been happier? I wouldn't look at food as if it was the enemy. This has always been terrible, and I don't want to die from it anymore. I guess I wanted to when I was 16, but what the hell did I know. I want to feel beautiful, I want to buy clothes and not give a fuck if it's an x-small or a size 0. Because why should that matter to me? I want to travel, I want to go to more music shows. I want to live without this crap. I went to see Chvrches last month and it was amazing. I've been listening to every song over and over and thinking about my life. This isn't the way I want to live. I need to leave this lifestyle and I don't care if it takes me a couple of years or even if I have to attend therapy. However it happens, I want to be free.

That's just me, though. I'll miss this sub and you guys. I have a main I use way more so you'll probably come across me one day. And honestly, I hope you guys will get passed this. ED'S are not cool and they suck and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise.

---

[Goal] I love keto!
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 120 | -25 | F]
Created: Mon May 2 15:26:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hjwa7/i_love_keto/
---
Who knew eating so much fattening stuff would do wonders for my progress? My meals are now more calorie dense than usual, but I NEVER get hungry anyway, and I never get tempted to binge on garbage like I used to. I actually eat less calories overall than when I ate tons of carbs despite being generous with the heavy cream and coconut oil.

I'm just super happy with this change. I feel more in control and now I should be consistently losing about 2 lbs a week with my intake :) yay!

---

[Discussion] Skinny Girl wines
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Mon May 2 14:21:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hjkw4/skinny_girl_wines/
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Have any of you tried these?

Since I am restricting and now doing keto, their 100 cal per 5 oz and only 5g of carbs is really appealing to me. I've tried Skinny Girl's ready-to-serve margaritas and it freaking tasted like Pine Sol so I'm a bit skeptical of their wines.

---

[Help] Just did my first EC stack, but I have questions.
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 113]
Created: Mon May 2 11:06:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4himqq/just_did_my_first_ec_stack_but_i_have_questions/
---
I woke up this morning after a day of binging yesterday. I had half a Bronkaid (12.5mg) with a cup of coffee. I'm slowly going to move up to the full 25mg but I am trying to do this more safely.

I'm not feeling hungry, but I don't know if that's from the bronkaid or how sick I made myself yesterday from stuffing myself.

Here are my questions.

1. How quickly does the appetite suppression begin after taking the stack?

2. I picked up some fish oil because I read it's good to take while you're doing the EC stack. Do I take it at the same time as the bronkaid? Or just take it daily with my other vitamins?

3. How long do the effects last?

4. Does anyone take a lower dosage successfully?

5. I'm also on Wellbutrin, can I take that at the same time or should I space it out?

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[Other] Lol seriously what do you say?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 2 10:30:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4higer/lol_seriously_what_do_you_say/
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[deleted]

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[Other] starting a ~diet today!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon May 2 10:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hiaj6/starting_a_diet_today/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 2 10:03:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hi9l4/daily_food_diary_may_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

Homemade pedialyte (electrolyte replacement)
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Mon May 2 09:01:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hhu7w/homemade_pedialyte_electrolyte_replacement/
---
http://pin.it/MLMIdtt

---

[Rant/Rave] ED actually helped me quit smoking O.o
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 | -12.4 | 20 y/o F]
Created: Mon May 2 08:53:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hhs6h/ed_actually_helped_me_quit_smoking_oo/
---
Idk if anyone else has this, but I always got suuuper dizzy if I smoked without eating something!

So a few years back, I smoked less and less, because I felt horrible if I did it on an empty stomach, but on the otherside didn't want to eat just so I could smoke

Finally (also after having spent a long time in the UK, where you can't smoke anywhere without being looked at a bit funny, or pay fines) I stopped smoking all together!

I know a lot of people use smoking as a thing to stop eating, or to eat less, as it supresses the appetite (maybe another reason why it used to be easier for me not to eat for days, than it is today)

But how do you deal with dizzyness/do you get dizzy at all from it?

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[Discussion] Intermittent fasting?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.4 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 2 08:51:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hhrjk/intermittent_fasting/
---
Since Thursday I've been intermittent fasting on a 20/4 or 22/2 schedule depending on the day and what I have going on. My restriction is not too much lower, maybe 700 instead of 8 or 900, but I dropped two pounds already! I swear by those last 4 hours of the fast I can FEEL my body burning the fat away.

I go to yoga late in the afternoon or early evening and then break my fast a few hours after, so I think the hot power flow kicks my body in to high-burning gear right there at the end.

Anyone else do this? What were your experiences?

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[Rant/Rave] I want to do yoga but...
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9" | CW fat | UGW 125 LBS | -14 lbs | female]
Created: Mon May 2 08:33:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hhmrl/i_want_to_do_yoga_but/
---
... Zoloft makes my hands and feet SO SWEATY! UGH! I went to a class yesterday and had to leave halfway through because I was slipping and sliding everywhere. 😐

I was so excited about doing yoga since it's supposed to be good for mental health :( I guess I'll have to do cardio for my mood instead.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! May 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon May 2 06:03:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hgno7/weekly_stats_update_may_02_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for May 02, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] Two little birds sat on my shoulder...
/u/l-ostcaus-e [5ft 6| Fattest of the Fats | F | GW 1: - 15lbs | UGW: 99lbs]
Created: Mon May 2 05:47:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hgkcw/two_little_birds_sat_on_my_shoulder/
---
One tells me that even though I fasted for 40 hours my binge last night was disgusting (which it was, at nearly 3000 calories, completely negating all the hard fucking work I put in fasting) so I need to go to the gym and workout til I throw up because I didn't purge last night and that I need to just drink water and black coffee today.

The other little bird is telling me that I slipped up, that was fine and I can get back on it today, maybe eat something a little small but healthy and good for working out with, go to the gym and workout hard again and fast tomorrow and Wednesday instead.

Neither of them are very nice birds. I just want a hug tbh. I'm all alone in my flat and I have so much work to do but all I can think about is whether I should eat and what I should do at the gym (cardio for max cal burn but it's boring and I'd prefer to be throwing weights around). Above it all is the overriding desire to just go "Fuck it" and get back into bed with more binge food.

None of this is getting my work done :( Help?

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[Other] this is a weird thing that i never expected to happen.
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Mon May 2 05:25:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hgg1n/this_is_a_weird_thing_that_i_never_expected_to/
---
so a week ago Sunday i ended up dropping acid for my first time and out of the random while i was tripping balls i ended up deciding to take a shower and while i was in there i ended up looking at my body in a completely different way like i'm not that horrid and that it could always be worse but overall the view i have for my body has changed in a positive way although i still wish i could just have a flat stomach and abs because you know nothings good enough til you reach perfection but in the mean time til i reach perfection i'm able to deal with my bad looking self until changes occur someway somehow.

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[Rant/Rave] I ate so much today and now I want to die.
/u/DrDiagnonsense [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Mon May 2 05:02:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hgbhb/i_ate_so_much_today_and_now_i_want_to_die/
---
Sorry, will add flair when I'm on a computer.

Basically I'm just stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I can't skip breakfast because I take medication and it makes me sick on an empty stomach. So I had like a moderate bowl of leftovers for breakfast.

Then I made a vegan gluten free chicken noodle soup for my bf with the idea that I could get away with eating the broth and celery, but I ate way more than I meant to. And then my bf made a huge bowl of fries and I ate some and now I feel so disgusting.

I always over-estimate the calorie content of my food to make sure I don't go over, but I think I'm still pushing my luck

It's 9pm here and I'm off to the gym and then probably going to cry myself to sleep.

Sorry for the long post, just needed to rant. I feel awful.

---

[Discussion] No Binge Support Thread: May 2
/u/rustyrustshackleford [5'5" | CW: 95 | LW: 85 | GW: 80 | -40 | F]
Created: Mon May 2 04:53:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hg9w6/no_binge_support_thread_may_2/
---
Hey guys, hope all of you are having a good day so far! This is a place to come for support regarding binging, whether you are excited about not doing it or need someone to talk you out of it. Feel free to reply to update your comment as the day progresses. Stay strong and good luck!

---

[Discussion] Distorted Reality
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon May 2 00:32:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4heyz3/distorted_reality/
---
I recently learned that I have a distorted idea about how much other people eat. I just think that if I eat out of site of others I'm stuffing my face. Binges are subjective I guess. I am just surprised how far my ED goes in changing my perception of the world. I only knew that I can't see myself in the mirror correctly, just there are so many other things: Calories consumed, Calories burned, healthy exercise, other people's Calories, other people's bodies, et cetera. The part that really confuses me though is that I am kinda okay with this. It makes me depressed because I am so hard on myself but I know it makes me work harder for that thin body.

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[Rant/Rave] im a CA endo ana that doesn't belong in /r/cripplingalcoholics.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 1 23:25:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hem4w/im_a_ca_endo_ana_that_doesnt_belong_in/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Found some dried chilis...
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Sun May 1 22:11:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4he7i7/found_some_dried_chilis/
---
When unpacking on friday. Now I can make tortilla soup. I calculated it, and it should be less than 80 cal per cup!

So for the next few days I will have this or miso soup for all my meals and make up for all the horrible binging I did this weekend. I might throw some chicken in for protein if I start feeling really bad, but the goal is to stick with the soups only for at least three days and then re-weigh after a week (when I restrict sometimes I don't have a regular bm so I need a few days for it to even out).

I'm excited to see how this turns out! Yay!

---

[Rant/Rave] every weekend
/u/Acquaesapone
Created: Sun May 1 22:00:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4he552/every_weekend/
---
Every weekend I drink and eat so much until it hurts that I balloon to 113 pounds. Then I restrict all week at get down to 106. But then I sabotage it all again. This has been happening the past month, I usually don't do this I'm usually good at at least staying at 107 or below. Help :(

P.s. For everyone going through finals week. Good luck <3

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[Help] Binging all day, decided to start raw vegan tomorrow for a month. Anyone have experience with this?
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 1 20:46:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hdp7y/binging_all_day_decided_to_start_raw_vegan/
---
I'm most effective in restricting/control when I give my self very hard and specific guidelines for eating. I think going raw vegan will help with that.

Has anyone tried this or something similar? I've done everything from keto to vegan, but I'm desperately trying to find something 100% vegan that works after watching Earthlings. I'm vegan for ethical reasons, and the downside of that is there's just so much I can binge on. Oreos, sweet and spicy chili Doritos, vegan Ben and Jerry's... The grocery store is a mind field.

I am tired of being "allowed" to eat so many things. I just need to feel safe with food.

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[Other] How many if you lovelies are Kimya Dawson fans???
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun May 1 20:34:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hdmj8/how_many_if_you_lovelies_are_kimya_dawson_fans/
---
She is so amazing in everyway. Even if im not sober or anything close at this point, her views on self esteem and drugs and life and having kids and circumstances that suck are so relatable. If you haven't heard her things, listen to Tire Swing, I Like Giants, The Beer, & Walk Like Thunder(they are my fav songs). She is one of the few artists that I feel like gets that life is bullshit and crazy and funny and shitty but you have to run with it, ED, addiction, unplanned life events, pregnancy, drug abuse, all of it(...i could go on). I'm feeling emotional. I'm slipping from myself and feeling alien. I'm about to lose a relative. And I ate something bad. And I've drank my way through stress. But this lady is the strength I wish I had. My daughter is having issues sleeping and I hate to hear her cry, but she's just inconsolable. It's a hard feeling to feel. All of it is. We all feel like shit sometimes, and I find comfort in not being the only one, as horrible as it sounds. I don't mean it in a malicious way. I mean that it's just nice not to be alone. Even if this is the internet. I'm up 3lbs. My mental health is deteriorating, but I'm not acting out. I'm quietly dying. It's so odd to feel in control of being so out of control. I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could strip down and run as fast as my legs willl take me. Not to be indecent, just maybe that way I could fly. I'm so sad you guys. And I'm nervous. And worried. And paranoid. I hope I will be fine. I just hope I gain control again. I'd like that one day. Love you all. Thank you for letting me rant and muse and all things else. <3

---

[Help] How do I start losing weight? Newbie with a
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 1 20:25:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hdkh4/how_do_i_start_losing_weight_newbie_with_a/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I just had my first real binge :c
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Sun May 1 19:43:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hdazx/i_just_had_my_first_real_binge_c/
---
I actually binged for the first time ever. Not just "oh I ate more than normal" I actually went over my maintence (1450) but about 665 calories. I am so unbelievably sick now. It was sorta low calorie food so the volume I ate was huge. I am trying so hard not to cry but all this fucking stress is killing me. I can't purge, thats not a habit I want to start and I don't want to make myself sicker before my finals tomorrow. I am failing chemistry and I just want a fucking C in that class so I don't wreck my gpa and ruin my chances at med school and basically ruin my whole life. I can't do this. I just can't. I hate myself so much and the food I ate wasn't even good at all. Just whatever I got my hands on. I am not going to eat at all tomorrow. I can't wait for school to end. I hate being an adult and going to college. I just want to sit in bed and be a child for the rest of my life. I can't cut, my boyfriend will see it right away. I'm basically stuck. He will still love me if I am fat, but I know he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore and that would kill me inside. I want to rant more but I need to study again :c no more distractions

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[Rant/Rave] when the nutritionist tells you you are "normal" and "dont need to loose weight
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Sun May 1 19:17:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hd56h/when_the_nutritionist_tells_you_you_are_normal/
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so i went to a nutritionist and obvs all my stats are on normal, but there are still way lower "Normals" that i can be. she let me do no carbs at all 90 g protein every day for a week and im so curious for my new results. oatmeal has always been my one safe food though and she told me to cut it out and now im stressed AF but also I have lost 4 lbs in 3 days which is unheard of for me. fml for living the oatmeal lie for so long

---

[Discussion] Are you guys obsessed with the Fat Acceptance movement at all?
/u/dnicky [5'7 | 129 | 20.13 | ftm]
Created: Sun May 1 18:54:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hd045/are_you_guys_obsessed_with_the_fat_acceptance/
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I spend lots and lots of time reading tumblrs like This Is Thin Privilege and Ok 2 Be Fat. I'm currently reading a book called "Fat Shame: Stigma and the Fat Body in American Culture" (it's fantastic, btw). I also find myself agreeing almost entirely with what these people are saying.

But at the same time, I think the main reason I love it is because it works like reverse thinspo. I get a sort of dirty pleasure in reading about people who are so large that they have to participate in a social movement just to accept it. I guess I kind of revel in my "thin privilege." And of course, any weight-based discourse is like crack to me. I just love to read/learn about it. And while I find lots of pro-ana sites to be pretty depressing (it is a mental disorder after all, and is often accompanied by depression/anxiety), the positivity of the fat acceptance movement makes it kind of a happy/safe space to indulge in my own obsession with being thin.

Anyway. It's something that's been on my mind for a while - just wanted to bring it up here.

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[Discussion] Vacations...
/u/leeloo_12 [5'11 | 130 | 17.55 |-15| F]
Created: Sun May 1 18:51:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hczba/vacations/
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I'm leaving for a three week vacation to Europe soon and I'm TERRIFIED, which is really sad because this is something I've always wanted to do and it'll be amazing. I'm just so afraid of gaining weight and eating out and not having access to my comfort foods, and I'm travelling with someone who knows I have issues with eating. Just needed to vent, I'm so nervous and I can't express that to anyone I know because I can't just "let go" and relax on vacation.

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[Rant/Rave] Meal calorie counts
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 95 lb | 19.54 | -32 lb | FTM]
Created: Sun May 1 17:44:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hckhk/meal_calorie_counts/
---
Sorry, will flair once I'm on my computer and not on mobile.

For dinner, my father made spaghetti and meatballs, which is already way too high in calories for my liking, so I had been reserving the majority of my daily calories for it. However, it turns out that he had thrown in olive oil with the noodles so that they wouldn't stick... Which would be at least an extra 200 cal, if not more, on top of everything if he used the amount I think he did.

Luckily, my mother's feeling sick so she made for herself kimchi and rice - still high with the rice, but much safer with the kimchi than what my father made.

This is such a small thing, but it's extremely frustrating to have to eat the same things that the people around you eat when they don't care about calories. This isn't limited to just family, really, and I'm sure that this has all been said before.

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[Rant/Rave] I'm fatter than I realized...
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:110/UGW:85 | BMI:22.6 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Sun May 1 17:41:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hcjq2/im_fatter_than_i_realized/
---
So, I gained water weight, and who the hell knows what. I don't have a full body mirror, so I can never tell how my whole body looks.

Turns out, it ain't skinny.

I went shopping with my mom and shiiiiet. I went from real happy about clothes to just...downright depressing. Nothing fit and nothing looked right. I looked too pudgy or too top heavy (damn apple shape. I just want some hips!)

I told my mom how I'm gaining weight, and for the first time she didn't disagree. She kinda looked at me with pity. The fact that i can't fit into small kinda threw her off in the changing room. Maybe now she gets it.

So fucking frustrated at myself :/ and I can only blame myself. So far, less than 1000 cals, but UGHHHHH

If I hadn't fucked eveything up in March, I could've been at my GW and even UGW

I'll probably be getting a full body mirror, which will be really helpful with assessing how I look. My eyes aren't lying to me, because i very much fit my pants :/

i can't update my flair rn, but i shot from 103.4 thursday to 107 this morning. A lot is probably water weight, but I've eaten a lot of shit yesterday and friday...

Today was an okay day. I feel sick of making excuses for myself. Tired of sitting around, dreaming of being skinny. I will be skinny again.

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[Discussion] Those of you who have relapsed - what triggered it?
/u/DeepDownNorth
Created: Sun May 1 17:28:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hcgze/those_of_you_who_have_relapsed_what_triggered_it/
---
For me it's a combination of my antidepressants completely robbing me of an appetite, a very unexpected and out of the blue break up with a guy I really liked, and moving back home with my mom who is obese - the more I see her eat/gain weight, the more I'm compelled to restrict.

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[Discussion] Manual treadmills?
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Sun May 1 12:07:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4haeri/manual_treadmills/
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So, my husband and I are in the process of closing on our first house (yay!) and Id really like to have a treadmill so I can start walking/running with my Virtual Active app. We don't have a lot of space so I'd need a treadmill that can be stored under a bed or in a closet. I like the idea of a manual treadmill (not to mention the price) but was wondering if anyone actually used one and enjoyed it? I'm also going to be picking up my moms expensive Pilates machine when we raid her house for furniture and I'm soooo fucking excited to be able to work out in my own room without anyone seeing me.

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[Rant/Rave] Frustrated :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 1 11:59:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4hacyt/frustrated/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Happy 1st day of May!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 109 | -25 | 22 F]
Created: Sun May 1 11:07:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ha1xr/happy_1st_day_of_may/
---
**Is there anything you plan on changing this month? What are your goals this month?**

For me, I would *really* like to be down 14 pounds by the end of May/weigh in at 100 pounds. I weighed in at 114 this morning (YAS only 3 pounds away from my lowest adult weight). I'm also going to try a week of keto to see if that helps with water weight and things like that. If I like it, then I might just stick with it. I don't have any social obligations this month aside from a date with this guy on Thursday, so hopefully nothing else ruins my progress like the 2 social weekends I had in April did.

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[Help] What is happening to me? Nausea, dizziness, and hotflashes?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 1 10:37:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h9w1a/what_is_happening_to_me_nausea_dizziness_and/
---
Hi everyone... sorry for no tag on mobile...

For the past three days I have been hit with extreme nausea, followed by feeling extremely hot and light headed, and then my vision starts to go dark... and I have to lay down with my upper body propped up or I can feel bile rising into my throat... It's probably not low blood sugar. I ate a lot yesterday and it's still happening today. I EC stack and use laxatives pretty regularly so maybe I'm dehydrated? Has anyone experienced this before?

I'm worried I'm pregnant... or that my heart is failing.

But when I gave sex I always use a condom and make sure to check for breaks in the condoms.... and Im not underweight... so idk...


update: just incase anyone else experiences something like this I had a few sips of some soup and drank about half a liter of water. I am feeling better now... i still feel dizzy, but the nausea has subsided, which to me is the worst part... thanks to everyone for the advice

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! May 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun May 1 10:02:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h9p9f/daily_food_diary_may_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for May 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Thinspo] Short supermodel & instagram thinspo album
/u/EARLBEIGE [5'9" | 133 | 19.64 | -22 | F]
Created: Sun May 1 09:47:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h9mbd/short_supermodel_instagram_thinspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/98yaN

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[Rant/Rave] Friend's scale says I'm SIX pounds heavier than mine does FML
/u/idonthatemyselfyay
Created: Sun May 1 09:33:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h9jvo/friends_scale_says_im_six_pounds_heavier_than/
---
I know different scales are different, but SIX pounds. That's a BMI point.

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[Goal] I will log everything that enters my mouth in May
/u/EARLBEIGE [5'9" | 133 | 19.64 | -22 | F]
Created: Sun May 1 08:47:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h9bvz/i_will_log_everything_that_enters_my_mouth_in_may/
---
...and not just mentally like I always do. I'll do it in fitbit so there's evidence of my fatassery.

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[Goal] The dentist said my teeth look great.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | CW 110.2, UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun May 1 08:26:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h98ip/the_dentist_said_my_teeth_look_great/
---
I haven't been purging everyday, it's been more like 15-20 times this year. Not too often, but I am terrified of damaging my teeth. That's why I brush religiously. Morning means a quick floss and brush, evening is a more focused floss, long brush, and fluoride rinse. No brushing right after purging, just a water or baking soda rinse.

For the first time in my life, the hygienist didn't scold me for not brushing or flossing enough! I'm just so relieved that even with the purging I haven't screwed myself up yet. Purging is bad in the long run and I should really stop, but at least I'm good for now.

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[Goal] I weigh less than 120 pounds
/u/holloday [5'7" | 117 | 18.4 | -13 | F]
Created: Sun May 1 07:55:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h93xf/i_weigh_less_than_120_pounds/
---
And it feels so fucking good. What milestones have you hit recently?

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[Goal] I Will Not Binge and Purge in May
/u/rustyrustshackleford [5'5" | CW: 95 | LW: 85 | GW: 80 | -40 | F]
Created: Sun May 1 07:15:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h8z0f/i_will_not_binge_and_purge_in_may/
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I've been bingeing and purging so much recently, basically every day. I had gotten to my precious lowest weight 2 years ago by bingeing purging non stop, but I really can't do that anymore. I don't have the time or energy between work and school, and I've spent literally all of my money on binge food. This month I am taking control of my life again, and I'm signing a pledge right here to not binge and purge in May. Anyone with me? I can make daily check-in threads for support and accountability if it helps.

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[Rant/Rave] All I want to do is purge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun May 1 04:53:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h8lw2/all_i_want_to_do_is_purge/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Afraid of recovery
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Japanese boats are hunting me | -23lbs | F]
Created: Sun May 1 02:08:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h89t3/afraid_of_recovery/
---
My SO has been talking about getting me to at least see a counselor. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but I really don't think I can handle that right now. I have been through everything short of an extended inpatient stay, so I know what I would be going through. I just don't think I would go along with it. I'm afraid it would just get me to try harder to hide it or push harder to go way over board. I have been lurking and posting here because it is about as much as I can take right now, not pushy one way or the other. I don't know what to do. Does this fear make any sense?

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[Help] Trying to deduce what kills some anorexics so quickly..
/u/FlimFlamFlu [5'4.75" | 99.2 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Sun May 1 00:45:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h83ll/trying_to_deduce_what_kills_some_anorexics_so/
---
Throwaway so this isn't connected to my main account. Feel free to skip the first paragraph. It's not too important but adds background information. The TL;DR of it is that I'm trying to figure out how not to kill myself.

So January of 2015, I reached my lowest BMI of about 15+/-.5. I maintained that weight for maybe 2-3 months and the entire time my vitals were being measured, they stayed relatively stable and normal. The labs I'd gotten back over those months, including when I was hospitalized, seemed to have been normal with the main side effect being found was that my bones weren't as dense as they should be. I didn't feel tired (aside from never getting enough sleep, but that's a separate issue), rarely had chest pain, rarely felt out of breath, none of it. That aside, I'm currently at a BMI of 16.4 - 16.9 depending on what height you use (I've gotten both 5'4.5" and 5'4.75", but my it's usually rounded up to 5'5") and I want to get back down to BMI 15, but I've also realized that I might end up wanting to lose 2-3 more pounds just to say I got that much sicker and that getting better or possibly being hospitalized won't be worthless. When I was hospitalized, I was just a few more pounds than I am now and I felt like the fattest one there, especially knowing many of the girls had been on the unit for weeks and weeks, meaning they had far more weight to be gaining.

But there's one small problem with trying to get to that low of a BMI (2-3 more pounds would put me in the 14s): **death**. Of course my thinking about my body was never clear, at least in terms of self evaluation, but I did know it was definitely possible for me to die this way. I wasn't going to deny it. So I made sure I tried to meet all of my daily requirements for vitamins and minerals as well as protein and that's likely what kept my labs and vitals pretty okay, aside for orthostatic hypotension. I also lived on coffee and energy drinks, regardless of the calories.

So now, realizing I'll probably try to go lower, I'm trying to figure out how not to kill myself [EDIT: I realize the first paragraph basically gives what I did to not kill myself at BMI 15 but I'm scared it's not enough, thus the reason for making this post]. I've been reading through a variety of articles on anorexics who have died or who have fallen into comas or had organ failure/heart attacks and survived. I did find some commonality between a lot of them, and it goes a lot like this:

* When they died, their BMI was around 9-11 and/or they were found to be sustaining themselves on diets of mostly vegetables or some other extremely low calorie alternative (I've heard 3 corn flakes and a piece of chocolate). If they died at a higher BMI (like 14-15), their diet was likely still just as bad.
* When they died, they'd taken a large amount of laxatives or had been found after throwing up and rupturing their stomach.
* They'd had the illness for a long time (5+ years?).
* They'd exercise or overexert themselves somewhat often.

And I'm not trying to say that they each died of those singular things. Of course it doesn't take a whole lot to kill someone when their BMI is that low, but those are just some things I saw in common. I realize now that no one of those things were things I ever did. I had a handful of times where I'd purge but I never did it long term (it was more a last resort when I got caught), and I only had 1-2 times where I went on ridiculous exercise binges. Still, it scares me I'm going to die this way, but I don't want to get better, at least not now.

The whole point of me creating this post however was to ask if maybe anyone knew if there was a way I could acutely prevent my death besides going into a hospital. I hope this doesn't come off as a how-to thread. I really hope it doesn't. I just don't want to kill myself. I honestly don't want to die but that's obviously not enough when you're starving yourself and choose not to get better..

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[Rant/Rave] That one question
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 23:57:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h7zmu/that_one_question/
---
Do you want to eat? No. Do you want to eat = do you want to binge your guts out or do you want to not. Seems like a simple question, but it's actually the worst fucking question ever. I'd rather the world knew how awful I am. I'd rather the world knew what underlying bullshit that makes me hate myself exist. Stop ever asking that. Stop please. I hate the south. I hate hate hate food. Wanna die. Also wanna cry. Also already fucked up. What's a matter with no? Wanna drown myself in the last friend I have in earth. Idk if it's alcohol content isn't even high enough.

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[Other] When you get the worst nausea/cramps after eating what you previously considered a safe food
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 102.9 lb | 19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 21:07:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h7idr/when_you_get_the_worst_nauseacramps_after_eating/
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https://youtu.be/K_avDphgzDM

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[Help] I'm going out to dinner with friends tonight and I don't know what to do
/u/DrDiagnonsense [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Apr 30 20:14:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h7c6b/im_going_out_to_dinner_with_friends_tonight_and_i/
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I can't just order a garden salad or something because it will appear suspicious. Does anyone have any suggestions on low-calorie foods to eat out?

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[Other] Soooooo I'm out
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | Fat | Super Fat | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 19:59:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h7a98/soooooo_im_out/
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I'm out of IP now.

I HATED it there, but it was helpful.

It was so boring and confined I looked forward to meals, and I hated being in there so much I learned I have to get my shit under control just to never go back.

Only took 2 overdoses and an ED. Go figure.

I wish you all the best, and I want you to know what a wonderful supportive community is here.

I feel that I need to say goodbye both to stay away and to make sure everyone here knows how important a supportive, understanding community is.

I love you all internet strangers.

---

[Tip] Red wine kills hunger pangs
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 19:24:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h75xp/red_wine_kills_hunger_pangs/
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I've been in a snacking mood all day and at this point (~6:20 pm) I've chowed almost 600 calories 😭

Feeling depressed about it and feeling like giving up for the day, I poured a glass of Merlot. Before I even realized it, an hour had gone by and I hadn't noticed any hunger at all! It might be temporary, or a fluke, but I figured I owed it to you lovelies to report it!

A little buzz is nice too 😉 hope you're all doing well.

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[Rant/Rave] Not sure how much I weight I lost this month, but I lost a bunch of inches on my legs!
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 19:10:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h743a/not_sure_how_much_i_weight_i_lost_this_month_but/
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A non-mobile post! Omg! So this month I switched scales because m old one was really unreliable, so I don't really know how much weight I lost. I don't feel like I have, but it's a good thing I took some measurements last month! Last month around my thigh, it was 32.5 in and now it's 22 in! My calf lost 2 inches, my waist only 1 inch, and basically no change in my boobs or arms. I've been running more, so I'll keep that up. I'm probably gaining a little bit of muscle too, which is fine so I'm not skinny-fat in the end and it helps burn more calories throughout the day anyway. It's better than nothing, and I'm hopeful for this upcoming month now I have a reliable scale, Fitbit is so helpful, food scale, and a tiny bit of sun outside. I can do this. You can too.

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[Other] So I'm drunk..again
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 144 | 24.7 | -52| F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 18:19:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h6xkj/so_im_drunkagain/
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And that's not new, but I restricted pretty hard core today so I feel okay about it.

What I don't feel okay about is how I respond to other people's posts. I feel terrible. I want, desperately, to reply to all of you. But most of the time, I have no idea what to say :(

I don't have a diagnosed ED. (Although if I was self diagnosing, I'd claim over-exercising and drunkorexia; with periods of restricting and orthorexia). My BMI and weight are both in the normal range. So I feel like my perspective isn't as valid as other people's.

But I just want you all to know that I read all of your posts. And I want to respond and say something helpful, but I don't know what that is. What the hell do I know? Nothing.

And I also want to thank you. Many many days, reading this sub is the only thing that keeps me from completely losing my mind.

Thank the fucking gods, I found you guys.

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[Help] Please Understand, I'm here for recovery..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 30 17:29:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h6r0u/please_understand_im_here_for_recovery/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Well folks, I broke my scale.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 16:52:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h6lzm/well_folks_i_broke_my_scale/
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I had been only consuming liquids today. I had 2 cups of coffee and a protein shake. I don't know why I weighed myself. I didn't expect the number to be lower than this morning because I know I have lots of liquids in my system. I weighed in at 1 pound higher than this morning, which I expected.

After that I just lost it. I stomped on my scale really hard because I was so angry. Angry that I'm a slave to this stupid device. I hopped back on and it stopped working. I put new batteries in it and it gave me fucked up readings (e.g. 56 pounds at one point then 23 pounds at another point). I was fed up. So I threw it on the ground. Hard. I went to the garage and threw it around some more until it totally shattered.

I feel relieved but at the same time I'm *fucking terrified*. Now I can't weigh myself. I have another scale but it's horribly inaccurate. I can't afford to buy another scale until Monday and it kills me to not be able to weigh myself tomorrow *and* it kills me that a new scale I might buy may also be horribly inaccurate. I loved my scale. But I hated it, too, so I killed it.

On that note, any scale recommendations? The most accurate in your opinion?

I'm going to cry now. I hate this disease, this disorder. I wish I could be normal. I feel like dying.

**Edit:** Mods? I guess delete this post if it somehow breaks the rules?

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[Help] No access to my elliptical trainer!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 30 16:50:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h6lu1/no_access_to_my_elliptical_trainer/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Reached a milestone! Alllll the progress apps just gave me a big pat on the back.
/u/Pipoen [5'9"| 139.3 | 20.6 | =^u^=]
Created: Sat Apr 30 16:07:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h6fum/reached_a_milestone_alllll_the_progress_apps_just/
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So, after nearly perfect (well, to me) restricting for the last 17 days, I reached a new lowesest adult weight of 139.3, which is significant loss from where I was a few weeks ago. Being one for charts and tackers, here are allllll the updates from this morning.

[Picture of me](http://imgur.com/t5FPpgo)

[Weight progress since April 19 at 149.6](http://imgur.com/zRlt4Jz)

[MFP's friendly words](http://imgur.com/uIr0wK9)

[Fitbit stroking my ego](http://imgur.com/na7Cbyu)

[And aktibmi ticking down to underweight BMI](http://imgur.com/uisTIds)

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[Rant/Rave] the most epic of eye rolls
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 15:37:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h6btc/the_most_epic_of_eye_rolls/
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I've over eaten by 1000 calories today, and it's not even 6 p.m. yet. I'm not surprised, I'm not even disappointed, just annoyed.

I know full well that Saturday's are my bingey unstructured days. I really should just start planning for them so I can avoid being pissed off about something I know I happens week after week.

I'm still losing, and I'm on top of my shit during the week. To be honest I'm just wasting energy being so negative about this.

So I'll get up ( brush my teeth), dust myself off (drink fizzy water for the rest of the night), and get back on the horse tomorrow.

In other news, I've decided that I can't do a mother's day dinner splurge, because that entails leftovers and I can't deal with leftovers. So I've decided that I'll order in a fatty fat carby carb breakfast of a gyro omlette with pecan french toast, which will put me in a bloated food coma for the rest of the day. Spend the day digesting, drinking fizzy water, and playing with babyman.

I got this. We all got this. :) ♡

Eta: sorry no flair, posting from mobile.

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[Discussion] Binged three days this week
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.2 kg (95 lbs) | last binged 30th March]
Created: Sat Apr 30 15:10:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h67wc/binged_three_days_this_week/
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And so sick of being obsessed with food already. My tummy's still bloated and I turned down sex with my bf last night because I didn't want him to see me naked.

I haven't felt this low in a while and it kills me. Who else here is an emotional binger? What are your triggers?

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[Discussion] Sexual Gratification from Binge Eating
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 14:58:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h66c7/sexual_gratification_from_binge_eating/
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This is something I never see discussed--perhaps because it is uncommon, or maybe more likely an awkward subject--so I thought I would make a post for the sake of discussion.

I was watching the WebMD video someone posted about the guy with BED and I started to think about all of the things that went into my food addiction at its worst. (And that is what it is--an addiction.) The only aspect of it that I haven't seen discussed here is the more specific effects the associated dopamine rush has on us physically and individually. One of the things that compelled me to shovel spoonful after spoonful of ice cream and all manner of empty bullshit into my fat face...eating to the point where your body (not your mind!) forces you to vomit out of self preservation... was not only the euphoria and easing of anxiety that was experienced during these binges, but also the sexual component. All of these feel-good hormones can cause physical effects like sexual arousal. And it seems such a strange thing to me. I wonder how I ever managed to stop when it made me feel so good in the process. Despite the fact that it made me feel so worthless afterward. My reward system is awry. Few things give me pleasure. Anything that does, my brain latches onto and wants more of. Never enough.

Does anyone else here experience a sexual response to binging? If so, how do you think it impacts the severity of your episodes? Would they be as addictive if that additional component of the euphoric pleasure was gone?

/stoned thoughts from someone that once had a BMI of 39.8

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[Help] Lower calorie restricting is slowing down my weight loss - is there logic to this or am I being crazy?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 14:41:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h63xj/lower_calorie_restricting_is_slowing_down_my/
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So for the past week I haven't gone above 500 calories. My average I'd say is around 350. I'm losing at a really really slow rate. Since Sunday I'm down 1.6 pounds. About a month ago I was eating 400-650 calories and I was losing 3+ pounds per week.

I'm weighing things that need to be weighed and logging every single calorie. I don't understand. Has anyone experienced this? Is it because I weigh (slightly) less now, the weight loss is slowing down? I'm not eating high sodium either, besides the cup of soup I had on Monday (which I realized was a huge mistake and I'm no longer consuming soup).

I only lost 0.2 pounds since yesterday (usually it's 0.4-0.6 per day) so I'm only consuming liquids today (still counting the calories, 300 calories worth of liquids today and that's it). Hopefully I see a great loss on the scale tomorrow.

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[Rant/Rave] My sister has bulimia
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Apr 30 14:07:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h5z2n/my_sister_has_bulimia/
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I used to be anorexic and relapsed in January. She's just so triggering. We are the exact same hight but her BMI is around 13 and mine still around 19. Her thigh Gab and everything. It just makes it really hard, she got there with eating all this food and I'm here crying over an apple.

How can I go with her around me? It doesn't help me with loosing more, it only frustrates me.

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[Rant/Rave] I'm dying inside.
/u/sewnp [168cm | GW:90lbs | NB]
Created: Sat Apr 30 13:16:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h5rsp/im_dying_inside/
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I'm hoping in writing this out it'll snap me back into reality and get me back on track to getting the body/weight I want.

I vow, now, to fast until Wednesday. A three day fast to jump start something longer and more concrete. I hate myself a lot for eating so much lately and not holding myself accountable, so I'm going to be strong for me. I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to keep it up, but I want to try at least. I want to try to later be able to step on my scale and not hate everything after reading the number.

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[Help] Really struggling and I don't know what to do.
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 11:46:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h5emk/really_struggling_and_i_dont_know_what_to_do/
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This year has been so strange. The last few months i thought I was doing "great" - restricting successfully more and more, losing lots of weight (for me), reducing binge/purge episodes, working out a lot. I knew I was getting weirder and weirder but I finally felt "in control" for maybe the first time in my life.

Except I think it's maybe gone too far? Not my weight loss obviously but mentally/behaviorally, at this point I literally cannot eat anything other than a few safe liquids (protein shakes, almond milk, broth...that's it) without panicking and purging. I haven't kept down any solid food in weeks. Its wreaking havoc on my life obviously but I'm also a huge raw-nerve bundle of anxiety all the time, and I think I'm starting to see some messed up effects from not really getting any nutrition.

I don't know wtf to do. I've posted tentatively before about wanting to maybe explore recovery, of some kind, or something? I don't know if I'm really ready for that or how you go about even starting but I do need to figure out ASAP how to 1) not have 99% of my time be lost to food anxiety/obsession and 2) eat actual food sometimes, even if it's just a little bit, without feeling complete panic. Can anyone help?

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[Help] Birthday Dinner at a Restaurant
/u/clearlyHayes
Created: Sat Apr 30 11:11:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h59gq/birthday_dinner_at_a_restaurant/
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My dad's birthday dinner is at outback steakhouse, and I couldn't find the calories for their food on their website. I've lost 10 pounds this week and I do not want to binge at the restaurant. Does anyone know a good, low-calorie meal to eat there? Or any ways to get out of eating altogether? I'm allergic to gluten and dairy, so my parents won't think it's weird if I eat a salad or something.

Thanks so much!

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[Intro] finally able to really work at it
/u/taw111113 [5'4" | CW 178 | GW 130 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 10:20:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h524b/finally_able_to_really_work_at_it/
---
[removed]

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[Help] I'm at a new emotional low and need some direction
/u/lessismoreofme [5'3 | 145lbs | 26.58 | -45lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 10:07:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h507m/im_at_a_new_emotional_low_and_need_some_direction/
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I feel so shitty. I'm having another period (I'm not supposed to get those with my BC method and now 2 in 2 months), and worked 25 hours in 2 days. Ever since my move I've been trying to get a handle on my eating but between that and new meds I'm back up to 150 for the first time in nearly a year. Self loathing is at a new high- what do I do? How do I pick up and start again? Please, give me direction...

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[Thinspo] Dainty
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 113.8lbs | 17.05 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 10:02:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h4zh0/dainty/
---
http://imgur.com/sUrwoNx

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Apr 30 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h4zge/daily_food_diary_april_30_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 30, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Let's talk about vitamins!
/u/glipglopsfromthe3rdD [5'1" | 110 | 21.71 | female]
Created: Sat Apr 30 09:38:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h4w5r/lets_talk_about_vitamins/
---
I'm ready to order some vitamins online and I'm curious about what everyone here likes. If you could, let me know:

What vitamins/supplements you take

Do you restrict/fast often (I'm interested in a vitamin that will supplement a diet that's around 1200 calories a day.)

Does it make you nauseous? If so (or if not) is there a specific way you take them? (With certain foods or whatever)

Thanks everyone.

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[Other] Haha! This is what I imagine recovery being like.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 30 09:09:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h4sbh/haha_this_is_what_i_imagine_recovery_being_like/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4oG-rEwjKY

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[Help] Lose It or MyFitnessPal?
/u/perfectionistlemon [165 cm | 53.9 kg | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 08:28:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h4n1n/lose_it_or_myfitnesspal/
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Which one's better and why? I've downloaded both and like using MyFitnessPal, but hate feeling obliged to eat at least 1000 calories. I'm fine with 600 if I don't exercise... jeez. Lose It seems like it has less food so it isn't as accurate as MFP. What do you guys think?

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[Goal] So happy!
/u/princessxpixie [5"4.5 | 104lbs | 17.5 | -29lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Apr 30 07:27:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h4foz/so_happy/
---
Just wanted to share my happiness (brag hehe) with you all! So for like two years I havn't checked my height because I just assumed I was the same but my SO did it for me today at the gym and turns out im 5ft 4.5 (164cm) rather than 5ft 3 which makes my bmi 17.5 now. Ahhh I feel like im way skinnier just from finding this out lol :D

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[Help] Prom's tonight. Here we go.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 07:25:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h4fid/proms_tonight_here_we_go/
---
Do you have any last-minute advice to reduce bloating/water weight/poop weight as quickly as possible during the next 12 hours? I don't want to take a laxative and then have to bolt to a bathroom right in the middle of slow dancing with my sweetheart.

Unfortunately, I couldn't get out of dinner last night like I planned, and I won't be able to get out of dinner tonight, so my fast today will have to be only 24 hours instead of 36. Ah well, better than nothing.

Also, just because it's prom related and I really want to share, here's the story of shopping for a dress:

So we find the perfect dress. I pick up a size 4, my size 20lbs ago, and it's too big. We go to the desk and ask if they have any smaller sizes. I try on the 2, too big, I try on the 0, it fits just right! Guys *my prom dress is a size 0!* Maybe it's only vanity sizing, but either way, I'm proud I've made it this far, and I can't wait until I hit 105.

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[Help] Talk me out of eating
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 05:48:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h460v/talk_me_out_of_eating/
---
My life has gone to total shit and in the last two days I've been good about not eating outside of dinner. I want to keep not eating because at least if my life is fucked I can have the body I want. I guess I just need some inspiration or something to know that just because everything is the worst I don't need to turn to food

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[Discussion] Yesterday I had all 4 wisdom teeth out
/u/vigil_morgenstein [5'4" | CW 122lbs | UGW 96lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 04:19:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h3yq3/yesterday_i_had_all_4_wisdom_teeth_out/
---
Today it hurts like hell, but I haven't eaten in 28hrs so far and won't be able to eat for a while yet. Now I'm over the initial hunger and my body has realised it can handle life without stuffing my face, this is the start of me getting back on track!

Hello medically imposed fast!

Anyone else had their wisdom teeth out? Any recovery tips?

(sorry for no flair - on a mobile! That needs to be added next time they update Alien Blue!)

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[Rant/Rave] Binge and exercise
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | The Cow of Cthulhu | -17lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 00:43:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h3i4m/binge_and_exercise/
---
My SO made me eat a meal today and it was so hard not to do. I didn't want to be disappointing/upsetting. Then once I opened up for a sandwich I had some of the ice cream she offered me. Later we ate chinese and I had some calorie heavy drinks. There were some doughnut holes at the house and I ate a few of those. Finally I had a pop and a taco from taco bell. God, once I open my gullet it just doesn't shut. Now that it's night, I'm out of her sight, and I can't sleep, I'm exercising. 100 bicycle kicks and 50 tricep extensions so far. I'll see how much more I get. Penance is so much more painful than fasting. I wish I didn't do this to myself but it drives me insane consuming too many calories and not working it off.

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[Help] Issues sleeping ugh, tomorrow I have a wedding that I am going to.... I'm scared...
/u/Pantorah [5'6" | 125 | 21 | -50 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 30 00:36:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h3hn5/issues_sleeping_ugh_tomorrow_i_have_a_wedding/
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I've relapsed once again... (I'm actually very happy with this) tomorrow I am following along to go attend a wedding, it will be mostly held in a restaurant, food all around and it's a wedding. I'm not trying to put out a bad output towards any cultures at all it isn't my intention.. the wedding I am attending revolves around an asian family, they will judge, often speak of me, ask when they see me if oh.. Is she dieting? She doesn't eat meat is she a vegetarian? Blah blah blah, the restaurant I am going to is very asian, processed foods all around.. I really don't know what to do td;lr asian judgemental over viewing family, stuck being eyeballed upon my intake, the food is oily/processed. I strictly eat non processed/pure veggies/straight up fruit.. clean/simple I feel horrified idk what to do. Please!

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[Help] Intermittent Fasting: 16/8 vs 5:2
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 101 lb | 20.77 | -20 lb | FTM]
Created: Fri Apr 29 23:55:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h3e2o/intermittent_fasting_168_vs_52/
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I'm still very, very new to losing weight beyond just restricting calories, so. Does anyone know how drastic weight loss should be when fasting 16 hours and a 8 hour eating window vs 5 days of normal eating and two 24 hour fasts if calorie intake is kept consistent? Thank you so much for any advice.

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[Other] I'm gonna be sad tomorrow
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 22:49:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h37pm/im_gonna_be_sad_tomorrow/
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I've eaten 5300 calories tonight. And only burned 550. I'm pretty drunk right now, so I don't really care. But I'm totally gonna be sad tomorrow.

I spend two and a half hours on my treadmill earlier. I'm gonna have to do the same tomorrow.

I've totally got that over exercising thing to (try to cuz you know, you really can't) make up for eating all the food. I don't even know if my legs are gonna work tomorrow. I did almost ten miles on there today.

Sorry if this makes no sense. It feels sensible. I don't even know any more.

Happy Friday?

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[Discussion] Anyone else get cranky and unfocused while restricting?
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 124 | 22 | -21 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 22:23:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h356v/anyone_else_get_cranky_and_unfocused_while/
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I've become bitchy these past couple days, and I'm known for being over-the-top nice. Also, I can't seem to stop spacing out while driving which is, um, not good.

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[Thinspo] One of my favorite artists and thinspirinas: Fiona Apple
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 22:17:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h34iq/one_of_my_favorite_artists_and_thinspirinas_fiona/
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http://imgur.com/a/FjBdm

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[Rant/Rave] One of the best feelings
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Fri Apr 29 21:46:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h317e/one_of_the_best_feelings/
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I just put on this pair of sweatpants I haven't worn in a few months...and the band is way to loose ☺️ I love these little bits of evidence of weight loss. It's like 6 inches too big around my waist now. I'm so happy now.

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[Intro] I miss my ED
/u/cakeandcoffees
Created: Fri Apr 29 21:44:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h311h/i_miss_my_ed/
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My eating disorder almost killed me. There have been nights where I thought I'd die in my sleep because my heart and body were so weak. I was admitted into hospital, and although it was the hardest thing I've been through, it saved my life. I'm so grateful to be alive, yet, there are times when I miss my ED so much and even crave for it.
Like when I eat a 'normal meal', it still shocks me that I'm actually willingly feeding myself. Or when I look at my body in the mirror and I see my breasts and hips, I crave to see myself at my sickest. I feel like a stranger in my body sometimes.
I know that I'm so much healthier and happier now, I actually have a life and I'm focusing in my education, things which my eating disorder never let me have. I feel so guilty for missing it.

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[Other] I'm in a binge cycle again after only a couple days of doing great
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 29 19:29:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h2kdd/im_in_a_binge_cycle_again_after_only_a_couple/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Chelsea Jade - Low Brow (musical thinspo)
/u/pepto_bitchmol [5'4 | 122.5 | 21.44 | -55 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 18:29:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h2cl6/chelsea_jade_low_brow_musical_thinspo/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GcbLsSj6cI

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[Rant/Rave] 25 days cheat free... and I fucked it up.
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Fri Apr 29 18:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h28zl/25_days_cheat_free_and_i_fucked_it_up/
---
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I feel so bad I just want to die. I also want to eat even MORE. I'm not even hungry. Where does that urge come from? Self destruction I guess I'm about to take a shit ton of diphenhydramine hcl to get fucked up and sleep. (I mean actual sleep; I'm not trying to commit suicide on sleep medicine lol).

Fuck, I should have taken it before going out to eat. I should have said "yes, I already ate" when my friends called and asked. WHY AM I SO FUCKING STUPID?!

Fuck me.

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[Other] Low Calorie High Drunkiness
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Fri Apr 29 17:40:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h25zq/low_calorie_high_drunkiness/
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I feel the need to drink. And drink alot, but I don't want to consume 800 calories in alcohol tonight.

What's the best booze for your buck? Get me drunk with the least amount of calories (and the lowest cost if at all possible).

Thanks!

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[Rant/Rave] Conclusion to my work's Food Day
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW:118.2 (-10) GW:95 | BMI 22.3 | Female]
Created: Fri Apr 29 17:28:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h24df/conclusion_to_my_works_food_day/
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Made a post earlier about Food Day at my work. I literally went into a food frenzy. I have BED so yeah, I ate for hours. My coworkers were actually concerned by the time I was clocking out. "Oh wow, you really ate a lot. Are you okay?" Actual quote. I don't think they will push food on me ever again. That was the first binge in over 2 weeks. I feel really dissapointed. Weekend fast it is...

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Fat bitch
/u/Hungry_cow [Help]
Created: Fri Apr 29 16:45:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h1y57/fat_bitch/
---
Feeling my face and being able to grab fat. Feeling my stomach and feeling handfuls of fat. Feeling my legs and feeling shitloads of excess fat.
That's from the food I've stuffed into my mouth. Like a hungry animal. Like a hungry cow starving for any food. I'm the same as any fat cow. Any animal. I'm basically a disgusting piece of meat. Fattening up for slaughter.

---

This is it
/u/Hungry_cow [Help]
Created: Fri Apr 29 16:35:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h1wnf/this_is_it/
---
Ok, so basically this is it. I'm so destroyed and triggered to self harm rn. For so long I've been trying to be healthy, trying to not post and keep myself in control. I've been putting on weight like nobody's business. Until just now, when I realised. You know, fuck you. And your condition to make me eat. No-one needs to make me eat. That is the only way i will solve this problem. If I just have nothing to do with it. I'm so uncentred and lost rn, and I'm so sorry if I make no sense, but if you can help me then please do. Otherwise I'll have to destruct this body I say I live in.

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[Discussion] Parents with EDs
/u/woollyshirt [5'7 | 67.2kg | 23.18 | -20.8kg | M/NB]
Created: Fri Apr 29 16:09:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h1slf/parents_with_eds/
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I'm NC with my mother, and hadn't seen her in two years. This week, I was on the bus and saw her walking home, and luckily she didn't see me. She was tiny. She's in her 40s but she looked so old and frail. I really don't know how I feel about this all because I so desperately want to be better and skinnier than her, but she looked very unhealthy- bad skin, posture, looked weak like she could fall over at any moment. Is that going to happen to me? Can I be strong and small instead of looking like I'm 80 aged 18?

I'd be interested to know if anyone else has a parent with an ED and if it affected your upbringing.

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[Other] Day three of vegan + paleo!
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 15:07:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h1j01/day_three_of_vegan_paleo/
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Hi guys, I just wanted to update you guys on how my vegan + paleo diet was going; I'm not entirely paleo because I've been having some peanuts and almonds, but no grains or processed foods!

Pretty much, I've been eating limited amounts of fruit and vegetables (has anyone had cauliflower rice before?? Its amazing with rosemary in it!!)

I've lost about four pounds according to my scale already, I don't know how accurate this is but I feel great!

How has other peoples experiences been with eating paleo or vegan?

Also if you submitted a color or number to me I'm so sorry I opened reddit and my inbox was FLOODED. I will get to as many as I can as fast as I can!!

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[Intro] Hello ((sorry - this got REALLY long))
/u/ED_Throwaway_ [5f7 | Manatee | -4 | GW 132 | GQ]
Created: Fri Apr 29 14:56:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h1ham/hello_sorry_this_got_really_long/
---
I meant to just lurk on this account while I was at work, but I am so inspired to join in all the time. So, hi?

I'm Alex. Probably older than most of you, at least physically. I'm 42. (I promise, it isn't as scary as it sounds - I'm still much the same as I was at 22, just with more responsibilities.) I'm a lifelong ED'er, as in - I remember being in grade school, and wondering if I could get away wit eating celery, carrots, and water, so long as I took vitamins - would anyone notice? Fun fact - when you're under 10, people tend to take notice of stuff like that.
That was my first round of being busted. Diagnosis: Early Onset Anorexia. It was interesting, looking back - watching doctors scratch their heads, trying to figure out why such a well cared-for child would do these things. After a few months of therapy, I figured out what they wanted me to say, and was free again. "Recovered", as you will.

I kept myself on heavy restriction all through jr. high and high school - generally I'd fast or just eat an apple during the day, wash it down with a diet Coke, and then eat a small (but big enough to show that I'd eaten something!) portion of whatever was for dinner. My Junior year of HS, the most amazing thing happened - I was diagnosed with hyperthyroid disorder. Suddenly I had a perfect excuse to not eat so much, to lose large amounts of weight in fits and starts. Perfection. I was able to maintain a low of about 112lbs for several years - I even started eating a bit more again, mostly to placate family & roommates. This behavior carried through my 20s & 30s, with no one ever really mentioning anything, and a decent amount of control on my part. If asked, I ate earlier, or I had a big lunch. Everyone knows what to say by then.

In my mid 30s, I started noticing the scale creeping up on me, a little at a time. People would laugh when I was distressed by it - natural part of aging, don't give it a second thought!
Yeah, right. Over the next several months, I was fluctuating between binging & purging, severe caloric restriction, and extremely long exercise sessions. One day I realized - I couldn't swallow easily. Even water took careful consideration so I didn't choke.

Back to the Doctor.
After a few tests, it was discovered that not only had my thyroid switched from hyper to hypo (likely back and forth tons of times over the course of my life) - but I'd developed Graves Disease. The worst news, my thyroid had grown so swollen and enlarged that it was pressing dangerously on my esophagus & airways. Complete removal of the organ was recommended. I still consider listening to that advice the worst mistake I ever made. Ever since then, I cannot stop eating. I binge to the point of pain regularly, and the lack/incorrect dosage of medications makes me (generally) too sore to exercise and be as active as I would like. I'm sure we saw this one a mile away - I'm now diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety, and binge eating disorder.

Eight years later, I am still trying to balance, and get everything back under control. Since my surgery, my weight has skyrocketed to levels where I, at one point, was sure I would kill myself. I'm not pudgy. I am fat. I am obese. I am depressed, every single day about it. The worst part (in this instance) - I have a wonderful, loving, attentive spouse, who I had promised that if they ceased their cutting habit - I would stop with the disordered eating. The deal ends if one or the other of us falls off the wagon, so to speak.

I am here in secret now. Only during work. Only during the week. I do not want them to return to their destructive behaviors - any more than they want it for me. Mine, in some ways, is just easier to hide. At work, I fast. I've gone back to my former behaviors: Coffee, water, unsweetened tea, a piece of fruit, or a handful of nuts during the day, and then a bit of whatever dinner when I get home at night. I make myself breakfast & lunches to bring in - they are generally thrown away. The last time I ate half a sandwich, I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for so long, my co-workers came searching for me.

I don't want to stop. I don't plan to stop. I've begun logging things again. I've begun walking at lunch instead of eating. I've started "beginner exercise" routines again, once I get home. Just to get stronger, and into better shape, I say. I don't want my spouse to hurt themself - but I don't want to be as I am anymore. I can't be like this anymore.
I hate it. I love it. I realize I am back, full force. I don't ever want to stop.
Hi everyone.

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[Help] How to deal with headaches from fasting?
/u/hellafat [5'1 | nope | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 14:44:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h1fdw/how_to_deal_with_headaches_from_fasting/
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Does anyone else get killer headaches from fasting? Paired with hunger pangs, it makes fasting pretty unbearable for me. I stay hydrated and take it easy when I do get headaches. I try not to take Tylenol/Advil/whatever unless I absolutely have to. Most of the time I end up eating something small to make the pain go away, which kinda defeats the point of fasting.


I don't want to take Tylenol every time I get a headache, so is there anything else I can do?

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[Other] I have 32 days..
/u/Rumplefatskin [5'6.5" | Corpulent | -20.4| F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 13:38:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h14l9/i_have_32_days/
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[on mobile, can't flair]

My boyfriend and I are moving in 32 days. It will also be the first time my boyfriends parents will have seen me in months. Plus I'm starting a new job.
I need to start holding myself accountable because I'm sick of being like this.

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[Discussion] DAE engage in body-focused repetitive behavior e.g. skin picking / hair pulling?
/u/memmh [158cm | 110lbs]
Created: Fri Apr 29 13:37:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h14gx/dae_engage_in_bodyfocused_repetitive_behavior_eg/
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I have trichotillomania and dermotillomania. Sometimes I feel just so uncomfortable in myself, like any time I see an imperfection on my skin I just have to get it out (even if that means digging it out with my nails and leaving a huge scab). My ED is sort of the same; I feel like the compulsion to remove the fat from my body is similar to how I feel when pulling out my hair / skin picking. I wondered if anyone else experiences the same?

EDIT: Woah, it has been so reassuring to read all these comments and finally hear from people who just... get it. I hope one day we can all find peace with our bodies.

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[Other] "It's not going to solve your problem"
/u/thishour [64 in | 115 lbs | | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 13:29:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h1326/its_not_going_to_solve_your_problem/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPgHu2Lup94

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[Discussion] Foods you didn't realize were low calorie
/u/Rebound_Chick
Created: Fri Apr 29 13:12:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h109r/foods_you_didnt_realize_were_low_calorie/
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I love pickles but I have been avoiding them for a long time because they always feel like an indulgence, but I found out today that they're actually really low in calories! Still high in sodium but they're now safer for me.

What foods have you guys learned are actually shockingly low calorie?

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[Thinspo] Reverse Thinspo KFC Mukbang
/u/tub_o_lard [5'8" | Huge Fat Beached Whale | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 12:52:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0wr2/reverse_thinspo_kfc_mukbang/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r1ueKs9KVc

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[Discussion] Anyone else terrified about meds causing weight gain or stalling weight loss?
/u/hellafat [5'1 | nope | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 12:35:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0tsn/anyone_else_terrified_about_meds_causing_weight/
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Hi :) This is my first post! Can't wait to get to know you all! Sorry if something like this has been posted before.


I refuse to take birth control after gaining weight while taking it in my early teens. It probably wasn't the medications' fault that I gained weight but it still worries me.

Same goes for antidepressants. I started citalopram two months ago after refusing to for the longest time (I took prozac in my early teens as well but lost weight after coming off of it. Probably also just a coincidence). I'm still scared that taking citalopram now may sabotage my efforts to lose weight by making me either have more appetite or slowing my metabolism. I don't know.


Does anyone else have worries like this?

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[Discussion] Comorbid addiction issues?
/u/stealgravity [5'5.5 | 128lbs (BMI 21) | -14.2lbs]
Created: Fri Apr 29 12:27:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0s8c/comorbid_addiction_issues/
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I can't imagine I'm the only one. I guess I'd be happy to hear anybody's experiences (if it's not off topic for this sub)

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[Help] I need advice I'm losing my mind!
/u/brileybreid
Created: Fri Apr 29 12:08:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0ot5/i_need_advice_im_losing_my_mind/
---
My ED has brought me down to the point were I cant eat anything or I b/p. I buy healthy food (mainly vegetables) but I don't eat it it just sits there until I starve and I go and buy sweets... anything sweet does it even fruit. So then I binge on it.. and then I purge it. I've spent so much money doing this... eating it all purging it all or throwing the rest away so I dont keep eating. Idk what to do anymore. I really feel like I have tried EVERYTHING... I want to just fast and Im good at it but I also want to workout.. and I cant do both. Idk what to do really. Thanks for reading.

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[Rant/Rave] Sparkling flavored water
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 116 | 19.7 | 4.7 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 11:57:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0mug/sparkling_flavored_water/
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Can I just rant about how amazing carbonated, flavored water is? It tastes amazing, has no calories, is /water/, and the bubbles takes the edge off of hunger like nothing else.

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[Goal] OKAY SO I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR TODAY AND I SAW THIS SUPER TINY DOT BUT IT's THE CLOSEST THING TO A THIGH GAP I'vE HAD IN YEARS
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 29 11:42:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0k3q/okay_so_i_looked_in_the_mirror_today_and_i_saw/
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http://imgur.com/dyUt2JV

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[Rant/Rave] I'm all squishy again
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 11:35:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0ivx/im_all_squishy_again/
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I feel very sad that I am skinny fat again. I haven't been working out other than my regular walks and pacing and my stomach is just getting worse with every binge cycle. The scale hasn't moved but I'm sure it's just muscle replaced by fat. Bleh. BRB gonna go drown myself in evan williams cause I look better with my liquor goggles on (:

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[Other] Myfitnesspal Group!
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 11:14:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0f34/myfitnesspal_group/
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Hey guys!

I just created a new MFP group - PM me if you want to join :)

Basically, it's going to be a group where we support eachother/exchange tips - no names, personal information, addresses, nothing. (I don't like sharing personal information :p).

I really hope that some of y'all would want to join, because I really could use some extra motivation :)

Also, I was planning on posting a picture of myself later today just for verification. (I finally have a super tiny keyhole gap and some baby collarbones!!)

Hope to see your PMs!

Matches x

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[Rant/Rave] Food Day at Work. Already cried twice.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW:118.2 (-10) GW:95 | BMI 22.3 | Female]
Created: Fri Apr 29 11:07:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0du1/food_day_at_work_already_cried_twice/
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And then my coworkers are making plates of food for me and sitting them on my desk. I got really overwhelmed from them basically trying to force feed me, so I abruptly went to the bathroom and cried. I came back and they were joking that they had made me feel so bad about being full, I went to the bathroom to puke up my food. They have no idea about my ED so I know it wasn't malicious but damn. I wish I could just tell them without being judged so I wouldn't have to go through this.

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[Goal] Finally back to 95
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 11:00:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0cna/finally_back_to_95/
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Or actually 94,5 but anyway. A few weeks ago when I had a scare with low potassium levels I started eating more and at the same time I was binging and purging several times a day(funny how that worked out...) and I gained back to 99-100, I even saw 101,1 once. I was too embarrassed to update my flair, though.

But now I'm back to binging and purging "just" once per day and even managed to get some days without it and eating about 300-500 cals I don't purge and my weight is back to 95. I'm so relieved, I felt so fat and like a failure when I realised I had gained several pounds.

And I'm working on getting the binging and purging under control, too. I've made some rules for it, because really, I have rules for everything else in my life, why not for that? I just can't go crazy in the grocery store and waste most of my weekly allowance on rubbish and binge and purge 3 times in a row, not anymore. Now I binge on the same stuff every time, and I'm not allowed to use more than 5 euros at once. And it's actually working - I really don't feel like doing it several times a day because and some days it feels more like a burden than anything else.

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[Discussion] DAE...
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 10:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0bie/dae/
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1. Look at themselves in the mirror and feel like their head is too small for their fat body?
2. Hate tying their hair up because they feel like their face is fat?
3. Feel their collarbones and track progress with pictures?
4. Pick up something, nibble it, then put it down?
5. Keep a calendar that keeps track of their successful restricting?
6. Pinch their fat whenever they're hungry?
7. Constantly compare their bodies to people around them?

One day, I want to be so thin that I never have to worry about any of these things.

---

[Goal] Hit a long-time goal, thanks to you guys!
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 10:46:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h0a9v/hit_a_longtime_goal_thanks_to_you_guys/
---
I've been really frustrated with my stalling progress lately so I decided to try fasting. Fasting always feels shitty to me, but I'm desperate, you know how it is.

I'd like to throw a shoutout to /u/star-of-morning to talking me through my plateau the other day, and to everyone who commented on my fasting freakout yesterday, you guys are stellar.

I finally dipped under 133 lbs today which gives me a BMI under 20 for the first time in probably 6 or 7 years. This has been a goal of mine for so long. BMI in the teens feels so slim and lovely and perfect and I'm so happy! Just one goal left: to reach 123 lbs. Then I'll reassess. I've promised myself I'll maintain there and I hope I'll be happy.

To celebrate I bought beef, chicken, AND vegetable bullion (splurging, I know) and I'm fasting today as long as I can.

---

[Help] Vitamins and fasting?
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7 | 133.5 | 20.5| gw115| f]
Created: Fri Apr 29 10:25:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h06lz/vitamins_and_fasting/
---
Every time I take my vitamins without eating I either vomit, or get extremely sick to my belly. If I eat enough to take them it won't really be a fast and I'll be tempted to eat all a day. Help me :(

---

[Help] I don't understand my body!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 10:13:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h04jq/i_dont_understand_my_body/
---
So I weighed in at 115.2 today (yay, I'm losing ~0.4 pounds per day). When I was a teenager and I weighed this weight (even 5 pounds lighter tbh) I don't recall looking as thin as I do now. Obviously I'm by no means *thin* but I'm thinner (does that make sense even??). I don't think I felt this "thin" until I was 105ish as a teen. The only difference between now and then is that now I'm an athlete (riding horses and all that shit) so is it possible I have more muscle/less fat now compared to when I was a teenager? I was totally sedentary as a teenager besides PE twice a week. Or is my mind/body dysmorphia just playing tricks on me? I've gotten much bonier since losing the last 2-4 pounds and I seriously don't recall being this bony when I weighed the same as a kid.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 29 10:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h02qm/daily_food_diary_april_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Goal] YAAAASSSS!!!
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 10:00:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4h029z/yaaaassss/
---
111lbs this morning. In honest truth, a smidge under 111, but I round up to 111 for margin of error.

I can't fucking believe it! Despite B/P yesterday, and a perfectly (under)portioned dinner, I still managed to reach 111 lbs. I hopped on and off the scale like, 12 times just to make sure.

Man, all that angst over plateauing at 113/112.5, and here is the 'woosh' I'd been waiting for.

oh man, so excited! but also, all the pressure! With 110 within my reach, and 105 on the near horizon, I really can't fall off the wagon now.

Misc tidbits:

* my newish high waist jeans are starting to get baggy
* all my measurements are going down from since that last I measured, around 115lbs/116lbs; 32in. bust (-1 inch), 28in. under bust (-1 inch), 25in. waist (-1 inch), 29in. low waist (-1 inch), 33in. hips (-1.5 inch), 18in. thighs (-1.5 inch)
* I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new food scale, and it turns out I truly was underestimating my food intake. The suggested serving size for my dinner was way larger than what I expected
* my mental image of myself is still playing catch up. I'm so used to fitting into 'small' or size 4 clothing, now that stuff is baggy/ill fitting but I'm having a difficult time wrapping my mind around 'extra small' or size 0/2 clothing. I order a lot of clothes online, but now I'm hesitating because I think, "I probably *should* get this in a extra small, but what if its too tight?". oh man, what fucking tragedy ;) /s

---

[Goal] I finally did it!!!!
/u/alluring_nymphet [5'7" | 137lbs | 21.46 |-35lbs | female]
Created: Fri Apr 29 08:39:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gzodu/i_finally_did_it/
---
http://m.imgur.com/gFcvqfn

---

[Other] Finding humor in it all?
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 120.4 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 08:14:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gzkdg/finding_humor_in_it_all/
---
My friend and I both have disordered thinking about food. Often times we reach out in the mornings with "FFHGFL?" Which basically means, "you fasting today? I'm fasting today."

Direct translation. FFHGFL: Food-free Health Goth For Life

And it's nice to know someone out there struggles too. He's like my IRL proED bud.

---

[Other] My best friend baked me muffins
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Apr 29 07:52:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gzgrm/my_best_friend_baked_me_muffins/
---
Vegan, delicious chocolate muffins. I'm sorry I threw them out. Really appreciate the candy you bought me too.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! April 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 29 06:03:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gz1vs/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_april_29/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for April 29, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] Im such a bitch
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Fri Apr 29 05:27:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gyxy9/im_such_a_bitch/
---
Ive always been jealous of how my best friend looked. Shes always managed to have thin toned arms and a big butt and thin thighs, and she never worked out, it was just her body type combined with not eating too much. I felt gross next to her. I found out the other day that she has gained 10lbs since last time she weighed herself, and at first I felt a sick satisfaction that I finally weighed less than her. Then I felt like a bitch for thinking that way. And now I feel bad again cause at the same height and 10lbs difference, she still looks thinner than me and even better than she did before. I deserve this.

---

[Discussion] DAE lose sleep with ED
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | The Cow of Cthulhu | -17lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 04:15:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gyqy5/dae_lose_sleep_with_ed/
---
No flair atm, post from mobile.

I totally forgot this happens but the longer I restrict, fast and overexercise, the less time I can sleep at once. I got 4-5 hrs tonight but I remember before recovery had started I would only be able to sleep 90 mins - 3 hrs. Like sleeping was a movie. So I'm pretty sure I'll get worse with relapse.

I had been told this is pretty common, but I was just wondering.

---

[Help] I think I should buy a new scale
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 03:47:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gyofb/i_think_i_should_buy_a_new_scale/
---
I think it's time Mindy and I break up. (Yes, my scale is named after my middle school bully who I never got over. Yes. I realize middle school was 23 years ago). I've had her for since I first moved out of my parents house, like, 12 years ago.

Mostly I want to break up because she's done nothing but tell me I weight too much for last two months, but also because I'm sure scales are much more accurate now. Even a non fancy new one would probably be more accurate than one that is 12 years old, no?

So is there a scale you guys recommend? Mine only goes to the half pound, but I'd love one that went the tenth. Also I'd like it to be not super expensive (although I don't really know what a good scale costs). Maybe around $40?

Thanks loves!

Edit: Ummmm those ages are all off by about two years. Apparently I decided do to math as if I were 33 instead of my actual age of 35. It would be funny if I didn't often forget how old I actually am. Ugh. Being old sucks.

---

[Help] Lost and failing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 29 03:29:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gyn01/lost_and_failing/
---
[deleted]

---

[Intro] Hi there, friends :)
/u/perfectionistlemon [165 cm | 53.9 kg | 19.8 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 03:07:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gyl6h/hi_there_friends/
---
Hello! I figured I should introduce myself. I'm perfectionistlemon (you can call me lemon for short). I've been struggling with what I think is an ED for a while now and even though I'm not underweight I figured I'd be accepted. I go through binge and starvation patterns, although I've never purged on purpose and because of other health issues I don't think I'll ever start. But I do restrict quite heavily when I feel motivated enough to.

Other than that, I'm looking forward to achieving my first goal weight (55 kg / 121 lbs) soon... We'll see how it goes.

---

[Discussion] Over-size vs. tight fit
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 |-12.4 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 29 01:38:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gydsd/oversize_vs_tight_fit/
---
I was wondering who of you prefered over-sized clothes, and who tight fitting clothes and why!

I myself like tight tousers/tights with shorts, but over-sized tops, jumpers etc, because I like my legs, but am veeerrryy selfconsious about my stomach area :/ also I kinda like the look of it, a bit like a hipster witch (as I only wear black xP)

What do you wear and why? Just because you like it, or because you feel more comfortable in it? What would you never ever wear?

---

[Rant/Rave] Girlfriend brings in all of my favorite foods
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 28 22:27:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gxv0w/girlfriend_brings_in_all_of_my_favorite_foods/
---
[deleted]

---

[proed] Today I got a new scale that is digital instead of regular. And I realized I'll never have a real eating disorder.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 28 22:01:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gxrwk/proed_today_i_got_a_new_scale_that_is_digital/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Hey everyone, I'm back
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 21:09:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gxlef/hey_everyone_im_back/
---
Hi everyone, I'm ready to come back.

I attempted that night, but failed and spent the next two days in bed. My mother was angry with me for vomiting and being so lazy. I did not tell her what actually happened.
I'm back and I missed you guys so much. You are all so supportive and kind. I'm very thankful for this website and for all of you lovely, kind people.

---

[Rant/Rave] Just a good food day
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | The Cow of Cthulhu | -17lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 20:56:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gxjli/just_a_good_food_day/
---
I just need to be happy somewhere where people would understand. I ate just under 400 kcal today which is my happy mark. On top of that I jumped rope 500x which probably was a little Cal. spent. I'm planning on doing some crunches and Russian twists before I go to bed. It's been the best day in awhile. I'll need to remember this tomorrow because my SO will be home and trying to make me eat. Maybe I'll get away with something good tomorrow, especially since she doesn't mind me exercising at all!

---

[Rant/Rave] why cant i be skinny
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 20:41:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gxhe0/why_cant_i_be_skinny/
---
but no I'm just out here looking





... Average.....

---

[Rant/Rave] This sucks
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 108.5lbs | 19.37(new) | -23.5lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 20:37:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gxgxu/this_sucks/
---
So I've never been overweight but have always felt fat so I've always covered up pretty well even in the summer and absolutely dread having to wear a bathing suit. Anyway, there's an outdoor festival thing on Saturday and since overall I've lost 20lbs I thought man this would be a great time to maybe wear a crop top and for once not be ashamed of my body bc maybe I'll actually kind of look good. Wrong. I tried on the outfit and took a picture and looking at it all I can see is my huge poofy stomach and my gigantic thighs squeezing against my shorts. I'm so disappointed. I really thought I would start to look ok once I broke 110, I guess I was wrong :(

---

[Other] I need help getting back on track
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 20:35:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gxgli/i_need_help_getting_back_on_track/
---
Ok just a warning, this post is a mess and I just want to talk to someone. so I had done pretty good with my restriction last month, but this month was awful. There was a death in the family and when I went to the funeral home and I was just awkward feeling and uncomfortable around everyone and they had a plate of cookies and I ate a ton of them. The next day we had another family gathering and there were more fucking cookies. Now I feel like I am eating like crazy. I have been either at my calorie limit or slighty over like 5 or 6 times and its killing me. I know I shouldnt panic too much because my average calorie intake for the month was about 1060 but still. Nothing satisfies my cravings either. Im angry because I can eat 50 Ibs of lettuce and be sick with fullness but I still feel like I need to eat more. I tried up my protein and fat intake but I am still not satisfied. All my eating emotional at this point. I can ignore my real hunger just fine, its eating from stress and boredom and lack of satisfaction thats killing me. Also this is tmi, but i havent had a "flat stomach day" for awhile and I think I not "empty" if you get what I mean.... ugh this sucks. I feel so fat. The scale says I am 110 and I used to be 102 and I dont know how I could have gained that much or if its just water/waste weight. All I think about is food and college classes and I hate it. I just want to ignore food forever and get through finals and stop feeling bloated. Ok I dont know what else to say. Thank you for listening. I wish I had someone in person to talk to that wouldnt try to fix me or freak out :/ i feel so isolated

---

[Discussion] How do you stop eating because you are bored or feel bad for yourself?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 20:12:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gxdcf/how_do_you_stop_eating_because_you_are_bored_or/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gxdcf/how_do_you_stop_eating_because_you_are_bored_or/

---

[Rant/Rave] Apparently that dress would look "ehh" on me.
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 124 | 22 | -21 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 19:26:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gx73q/apparently_that_dress_would_look_ehh_on_me/
---
I was at work today and this bitch comes in and says "oh what wonderful dresses you have here!" I agree with her, and then she points to one and says "I like that! But on you? Ehh." while putting her fingers close together as if to say it'd be too small on me.

Fuck you, I can fit into a XS dress. Maybe your legs are thinner than mine but at least I don't have those love handles you have. But.. a fast sounds good right about now. Haha, right when I was starting to think I look great. Life is good. /s

---

[Rant/Rave] Family Eating My Food
/u/lowgravities
Created: Thu Apr 28 19:23:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gx6mw/family_eating_my_food/
---
Low calorie food can be expensive, especially (prepare for the whining) when I am 16 and only work a handful of minimum wage hours. YOU ALREADY DRINK FULL CALORIE SODA WHAT DO YOU NEED PB2 AND HALO-TOP FOR?!

---

[Discussion] Foods to eat (or stop eating) if you want to lose weight?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 18:38:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gx0d2/foods_to_eat_or_stop_eating_if_you_want_to_lose/
---
[removed]

---

[Intro] There really is a subreddit for everyone.
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Thu Apr 28 18:26:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gwyq1/there_really_is_a_subreddit_for_everyone/
---
Hi, I'm depressionbunny. :)

When I stumbled upon you guys, it wasn't so much a "Omg this is what I've been looking for!!!"; rather, "I'm finally home... These are my people."

Every post on here has me saying outloud, "yes, me too!" And I love it, even the not so great stuff, because where else can you talk openly about this sort of thing? Where else can you find support like this? With whom can you actually talk chop without being met with blank stares or worse the inevitable cliche responses intended to make you change.

I don't want to change. I just want to look like the version of me I envision in my head.

I've never been able to express the one thing that's been on my mind everyday since puberty- something that is a huge part of my human experience. Not until I found you all.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm really happy to meet you. :)

Now, I'm off to go read my homework on the treadmill. xox

---

[Other] Goodbye for now.
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 146.2 | 26.61 | -49.8 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 17:08:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gwnrn/goodbye_for_now/
---
Well, I had hit a plateau for a while and then started gaining despite being well under maintenance calories per day. I had a hunch and took a test. I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been wanting children for a while but figured with my medical issues (PCOS) that it would be a while. So I'm a bit in shock. But, I don't want to risk any harm, so I'll have to change my eating habits a bit.

I just wanted to thank you all for all the support you've given since I've joined this community. I wish you all the best. I'll probably be back in a year or so. Until then, take care lovelies.

---

[Other] Russian model's food blogs
/u/starving_slut
Created: Thu Apr 28 16:47:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gwkga/russian_models_food_blogs/
---
Hi girls,

Just wanted to share some links I found. :)

olsenandfood.blogspot.com
https://www.instagram.com/olsenandfood/

Her accounts are all in Russian, but Google translate gives you the gist of everything. Apparently she's a model, and her stats are right in her Insta bio. Love her tips on the infamous chocolate mono and general eating habits.

---

[Goal] Finally have a thigh gap
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Thu Apr 28 15:52:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gwbuw/finally_have_a_thigh_gap/
---
I finally have a thigh gap...Yay! I've been working towards this for 5 months.

[Almost good enough](http://imgur.com/a/9GloS)

---

[Rant/Rave] soooo, I B/P'd at work....
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 15:16:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gw5tf/soooo_i_bpd_at_work/
---
gross. And it was my safe food too, which is ironic. Arg, I guess I can't expect to be a half pound down tomorrow. If I don't eat dinner, I'd still have a large enough deficit to see the -.05 lbs, but after all this talk about food scales and wanting to eat 'enough', I'll be expected to eat dinner. fuck.shit.piss. At least it will be perfectly portioned dinner?

On the plus side, I have **NO** desire to snack when I get home. *whee.* -_-

What I hate most about B/P, is that the calories that remain are unknown, which throws off my tally for the day.

I guess the best I can hope for is maintenance weight tomorrow. FUCK. I was really hoping to see 111 lbs by Saturday or Sunday.

Although if I commit to that 24 hour lemon water fast on Saturday, 111 lbs by Sunday could still be a thing. Hmph, I'd need to figure out my energy situation though, as its all baby, all day inside on account of shit weather. I can't afford to be snappy, sluggish, or out of it, nor can I take any supplements or drink too much coffee.

Ugh, now my throat hurts and I have a massive headache. B/P; never fucking worth it.

moms who fast, how do you stay happy and engaged with kiddo?

---

[Tip] New favorite microwaveable dinners
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.6 | 19.68 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 14:20:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gvwid/new_favorite_microwaveable_dinners/
---
So as a student I'm quite busy and most of my binges are triggered when I have to shit food for the sake of time.

I just found my new favorite dinner and it's super easy/brainless.

* frozen veggies of your choice

* couple spoonfuls of salsa + hot sauce

* 2 eggs

* salt & pepper

Throw frozen veggies + salsa & hot sauce in microwave safe container, put a lid on it (with the corner cracked). Microwave for a minute, or enough for it to be watery. Crack your eggs on top, salt and pepper that shit, put the lid on and microwave until eggs are at your desired level of doneness (I like mine with a yolk runny - so < 5 minutes).

It looks like something straight out of /r/shittyfoodporn but it's delicious, it doesn't take a lot of brain work or dishes, it's healthy, and (most importantly) it's low cal.

Also, to all my danish friends, Nupo has these microwaveable meals that are a-ma-zing. 250 g and only about 100 kcalories (the asian noodle was 117 kcal). They also have a tikka masala (129) and a spaghetti bolognese (67!) which I haven't tried yet. They're made with konjac noodles (like the sponge lol) which is why they're so low.

---

[Thinspo] Collarbones selfie in the library, because finals suck.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 14:00:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gvt34/collarbones_selfie_in_the_library_because_finals/
---
http://imgur.com/4MgJwqw

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[Rant/Rave] almost binged, but stomach pain stopped it (rant maybe, cant flair as i'm on mobile)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 28 13:58:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gvsku/almost_binged_but_stomach_pain_stopped_it_rant/
---
[deleted]

---

Tumblrs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 28 13:37:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gvp16/tumblrs/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] First fast in a long while
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 13:24:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gvmz4/first_fast_in_a_long_while/
---
I haven't eaten since midnight and it's now 3:30pm. 15.5 hours and I'm just starting to be a little bit hungry right now.

What I feel more than hungry is tired, dizzy, unfocused, unproductive. I hate that feeling. I don't do well when I'm unproductive because I have a drive to constantly be proving that I deserve to exist. So if I'm not getting anything done, what's the point of fasting? I can lose weight slower and also get things done in my day, right?

But no. Now I can't stop because I pledged a 24-hour fast and I have to follow through on my commitments. If I don't, I'm worthless.

Damned if I eat, damned if I fast. I don't know my way out of this mental obstacle course right now.

EDIT: I actually feel tipsy right now, is that normal? I can't walk in a straight line and I keep dropping things. Vision is blurry, all of that.
I've been drinking hot water with lemon juice, water, and I had some iced coffee this morning but it made me feel sick. I took my vitamins as usual too. Like, do you guys feel super drunk when you fast? I used to do this all the time in college/high school, my body never acted like this.

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[Rant/Rave] Fucked up week and nervous for the weekend....!
/u/Lailora [171 cm (5´7'') | 75kg (165lbs) | 25.5| 0kg | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 12:31:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gvdlp/fucked_up_week_and_nervous_for_the_weekend/
---
[removed]

---

[Rant/Rave] Not very good at hiding this
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 101 lb | 20.77 | -20 lb | FTM]
Created: Thu Apr 28 12:30:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gvdfy/not_very_good_at_hiding_this/
---
So my parents control almost everything I eat, so it's pretty much impossible for me to try and reduce what I eat without them noticing. I've been passing it off as 'dieting'/wanting to get fit, which has worked so far only because they don't know about the extent of it outside the food that they control.

Yesterday, we returned from a family trip, which I was pretty damn grateful for because maybe I could get my daily calories back to a decent number and get some of the things I needed to do done. However, due to other stresses, I ended up kind of emotionally and mentally wrecked for a few hours. Which meant that when I asked my mother what was for dinner so I could plan my intake for the rest of the day, I wasn't hiding how I was feeling so well, so she picked the lock to my room and saw me crying (something I haven't done for years), and got increasingly pissed through all those things + me trying to get her out of my room, and then tried to get me to eat.

I was feeling so bad that I ended up just dumping the food in the garbage - which made me feel awful, because I've been taught since I was a kid not to waste food (which sort of makes this whole thing ironic, lmao). When my mother came in, she got mad and threw the plates at the wall.

I really feel like shit because she didn't deserve how I acted towards her, and because I wasted food even though I wasn't going to eat it in the first place, and I don't even know why I felt so bad. Plus, my mother has never acted out her anger physically, so knowing that I'm responsible for pushing her to that... Everything's a mess, man.

Sorry if this is all nonsensical, I really needed to get it out.

---

[Goal] Finally under 150 lbs!
/u/jippityjuniper [5'7" | 148 | 23.10 | -20 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 12:29:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gvd97/finally_under_150_lbs/
---
I'd had an awful two weeks consisting of nothing but binging, but restricted/fasted enough days to stay around 150 consistently, but the scale not getting lower than that was really, really bothering me.

This week I managed to get all of that under control and weighed in at 148 lbs this morning. I haven't been in the 140's since my freshman year of college! I'm still a long way away from my UGW but I'm going to hold onto this little bit of happiness and keep pushing myself to do well; makes me feel like I might not be a total fuck-up, after all.

---

[Rant/Rave] I got caught
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Thu Apr 28 11:46:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gv5m8/i_got_caught/
---
My mother found out I've relapsed and she's really pissed :( She was rude and judgmental and also completely overreacted (Like she thinks [this](http://imgur.com/a/XJMXd) is what *dangerously* underweight looks like...hahahaha I wish) and that **11 pounds** above hospital weight is *almost* hospital weight. Like seriously. 11 pounds on a 5'2 person is *not* almost, that's like 2 BMI points. Ugh. And she was rude about how "wasteful" it is and shit...sigh...I hate being yelled at

---

[Discussion] DAE feel their bones in public?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 10:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4guni5/dae_feel_their_bones_in_public/
---
Like.. I dont mean to. It's subconscious, but I'll reach and and touch my collar bones or my ribs.

Or I'll press my arms onto my hipbones. Like they aren't going anywhere, calm down me.

I feel like people have noticed and they probably think I'm a freak lol

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Apr 28 10:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gung9/daily_food_diary_april_28_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Does anyone kind of feel bad when people make overarching comments about their ED?
/u/Astroyeti [5'4.75" | 99.2 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 09:56:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gumdl/does_anyone_kind_of_feel_bad_when_people_make/
---
You know like they all only starve themselves because they want to be thin, therefore they're stupid or their life is worthless.

I guess it's true that most people aren't going to have [that](http://imgur.com/zGnr1cZ) kind of mindset, but with how often I hear it, I almost wonder if I really am worthless and stupid for doing all of this. Even if they knew why I am the way I am they'd probably discount it completely and still call me some foolish, privileged, teenage girl and that makes me beyond angry. Funnily enough, this makes me more angry than having someone think my beliefs and opinions are ridiculous or that I'm ugly.

EDIT: I totally realize I shouldn't let this bother me and that just about any random Joe can say things like this but it still makes me die a little when I see comments like them.

I'm also kind of wondering if anyone else feels heavily bothered by people blaming them for being in this position. Like *it's your fault you have this disorder. You were the one who decided to go on a diet and* (I've had someone use this against me in a completely irrelevant discussion) *give in to society's desires.* So on and so forth.

---

[Other] lemon water fast inspired by a kids show
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 09:52:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gulqb/lemon_water_fast_inspired_by_a_kids_show/
---
So my lil man likes a show called [Sarah and Duck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LE48DxLEXK0). Not sure if any other moms here have seen it, but its about a 7 year old girl and her pet duck going on whimsical, British-y adventures.

After power watching a few episodes one weekend, I noticed Sarah only drinks lemon water. She doesn't eat anything (despite attempting and failing to make a souffle, and an episode where she ate a sandwich to make a frog stop bothering her), in fact the only food ingested is bread, by Duck.

She wakes up and looks forward to her lemon water. Duck goes on migration, so she feels lonely and has a cup of warm lemon water. At the park she sees a lemon cafe, but they close before she can order anything so she goes home and opens her own lemon cafe serving only lemon water.

Any time there is a 'problem' on the shows, when its resolved her and Duck celebrate by having a warm cup of lemon water.

Is it weird that I've been inspired by a kid's show to do a 24 hour fast with lemon water now? lolol.

---

[Discussion] How often do you weigh yourself?
/u/etizbabe [5'6" | 126 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 09:21:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gugiv/how_often_do_you_weigh_yourself/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gugiv/how_often_do_you_weigh_yourself/

---

[Other] currently fasting, anyone want to join in?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 28 06:56:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gtuc9/currently_fasting_anyone_want_to_join_in/
---
[removed]

---

(kik or skype) fasting or general ed-related buddy/buddies?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 28 06:44:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gtst8/kik_or_skype_fasting_or_general_edrelated/
---
[removed]

---

[Other] Just for fun again - send me your goal weight or favorite number and I'll show you what color it is :)
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 28 06:29:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gtqw9/just_for_fun_again_send_me_your_goal_weight_or/
---
Someone on the other thread asked if it works the other way around (people have been sending me colors and I've been telling them the number) -- yes it does! If you'd like to know what color your goal weight/current weight/favorite color is, post it here and I'll show you :)

This is really fun guys! I hope youre enjoying my interpretations haha

---

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support April 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Apr 28 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gtnqo/weekly_emotional_support_april_28_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] I wanted to feel bad,I binged to feel nauseous on purpose
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Apr 28 05:09:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gths4/i_wanted_to_feel_badi_binged_to_feel_nauseous_on/
---
Little did I know the nausea wouldn't hit until the next morning when I'm wedged between two people on a plane. Wtf is wrong with me...

---

[Rant/Rave] Back up to 60 kg today
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Apr 28 01:25:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gsxp4/back_up_to_60_kg_today/
---
I promised myself I would never ever see that six there again. I have to be better with my diet.

---

[Discussion] Am I the only one who likes drinking water?
/u/AlternateVision
Created: Thu Apr 28 00:07:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gspli/am_i_the_only_one_who_likes_drinking_water/
---
So I'm relatively new to this community. I've probably read less than twenty posts to this subreddit, and in a few of them I have noticed people talking about how they hate drinking water because they dislike the water weight it gives them.

I /love/ drinking water. I realize that whatever weight I gain from water isn't fat, and that knowledge is sufficient to embrace the idea of consuming a lot of fluids.

Water also helps me feel fuller, and temporarily silence hunger. Am I the odd one, or do other people share this thought process?

---

[Rant/Rave] anxiety/fasting tomorrow
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 22:09:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gsclc/anxietyfasting_tomorrow/
---
i ate a really normal/healthy/whatever amount of food today (MFP logs me at 1139 for the day) but i am still freaking out and i feel so huge and like i ruined today (even though i didn't have a fast planned and have been plateaued for what feels like FOREVER). i KNOW this is irrational but i can't help it. i got a new kind of birth control (the arm implant) on monday and i think that is contributing because i feel like it's going to make me gain weight, and i dont need any more of that. ugh. i feel so crazy and like i can't control my weight at all!!!! help!!!!!

that said, i am going to help myself by fasting from now until dinner tomorrow. my roommate and i are making dinner and it will probably involve a lot of wine, so the only way i can make that feel okay is if dinner and wine is all of my calories for the day. tomorrow is coffee, tea, and boullion for me!! i guess i'm mostly just posting this to be accountable, but feel free to join me in tomorrow's adventure! and it wouldn't hurt to know i'm not the only one who feels crazy like this :)

---

[Help] On a binge streak. Help me break it.
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.2 kg (95 lbs) | last binged 30th March]
Created: Wed Apr 27 21:41:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gs8zk/on_a_binge_streak_help_me_break_it/
---
Binged on Sunday (3000 calories total) and Wednesday night (another 3000 calories). It's Thursday where I am and I'm currently bingeing at work.

To my peeps who are currently feeling strong, mind lending a hand? Smack me, roast me, hug me : shake some sense into me!

---

[Other] My bf sees me comments t here all the time...
/u/IWant2BASkeleton [5'7" | 155.4lbs | 24.3 | -5.6lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 21:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gs3yn/my_bf_sees_me_comments_t_here_all_the_time/
---
But he never sees the sub title so he thinks I'm talking to fitness models, keep it up y'all are gorgeous. I love you all!

---

[Other] Just for fun - send me your favorite colors :)
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 20:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4grvda/just_for_fun_send_me_your_favorite_colors/
---
Hey everyone! So I've previously mentioned my synesthesia here and how it influences how I set goal weights; if you're interested in know what number your favorite color is it might be a fun way to set your next goal weight or if you're just interested in knowing how my weird mind interprets your favorite color into a number that might be fun too!

So send me a pic of your favorite color if you'd like to know!

---

[Other] ED has influenced my future pet choice and I love it :D
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 19:20:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4grpcp/ed_has_influenced_my_future_pet_choice_and_i_love/
---
I really really really love greyhounds (the dog). I walk them once in a while at the local shelter. I can't wait until I have the money, space, and time to adopt my own (or a couple). My mom always says that the downsides of owning a greyhound are: they are extremely fragile, boney creatures who break legs often; they are gentle giants and fearful of a lot of things; they are always cold because of lack of body fat. Is it weird that I love all these things about them? I feel like I UNDERSTAND them and they'll vibe with me. I just picture me and my two future greyhounds curled up all cozy in bed with our sweaters on under the blankets, all boney & cold & together :D

Greyhound lovelies FTW<3

---

[Help] binged, and i hate myself
/u/euripidest [5"1 | 79 | 14.9 | -38 | f]
Created: Wed Apr 27 16:59:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gr4ev/binged_and_i_hate_myself/
---
and i suppose that's all there is to it?

fasting tomorrow but that won't quite nuke the damage. oh well. onwards and upwards?

i've realised that i can't keep rocket fuelling off the weight, even though i want to, because everyone is getting upset. so i thought if i upped my calories a bit it would help. but i can't seem to do that without awful b/p sessions. maybe if i keep an eye on everything like i do with restriction it will be better?

sometimes i feel like i'm faking the whole thing because look at this fat pig eating nachos, right

---

[Discussion] I wish I had this problem.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 16:30:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gqzwg/i_wish_i_had_this_problem/
---
I was just thinking, "man how great would it be if i physically could not eat. Like, it was impossible. God I wish."

That reminded me of a scene from the movie Under The Skin, where Scarlett Johansson is some sort of non-human trying to figure out what she is. (its kind of a scifi thriller? hard to explain but a very good, tense movie)

Anyways theres a scene (linked below) where she goes to a restaurant to order food, because she's never eaten before. She's trying to do what other humans do. And she can't do it. She orders a slice of cake, cuts a perfect section, takes a bite...and immediately gags it back up. She physically cant eat. (its hinted later that she probably doesnt even have an esophagus or organs or other....human bits) The rest of the movie isnt related to eating at all (though theres a scene with her fully nude, if you like her as thinspo i guess?) but I just had this idea stuck in my head now.

And god I wish that was me. I wish i couldnt even physically swallow food. That would make life way easier.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO3_ITGxuQs

---

[Rant/Rave] I feel so worthless
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 27 16:23:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gqyxl/i_feel_so_worthless/
---
[deleted]

---

[Other] fuck it.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 16:11:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gqx0p/fuck_it/
---
I bought a food scale. I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out the cup equivalent of 3 ounces of cooked ground beef. Every forum I visited, there was some smug asshole saying 'huur duur just get a food scale!'

So you know what? I got one. fuck everything. I decided if my husband says something, I'll just say that I've been dangerously under estimating my food (heh heh) and that I need the food scale to make sure I'm eating *enough* food to sustain breastfeeding.

That should get him off my back, as long as it benefits baby, right. ;)

I've always been an easy liar, but damn if ED doesn't it turn it up to 11.

---

[Help] How do you deal with emotional eating?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 27 15:18:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gqohd/how_do_you_deal_with_emotional_eating/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] A nice recovery week before the expected exam relapse
/u/riproprip [5'2" | CW 115 | GW 95 | 21.79 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 14:05:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gqbt5/a_nice_recovery_week_before_the_expected_exam/
---
I had a nice run. Eating healthy for a whole week and a half 1300-1400 kcal a day, low carbs high fat and protein. Lots of fiber and vitamins, lots of beautiful colors, but I did it again. I made a lovely dinner, then just threw it out. Then embarked on a pleasant binge of half a bag of tortilla chips, 3 tablespoons of peanut butter and two handfuls of roasted and salted nuts. I don't want to look up the calorie count for that.


I'm just going to let the rest of my healthy stuff rot. If I have nothing left but oats and chia seeds, that's for the better. I can live off that until the end of May.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm finally managing to have some self control around food...
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 142 lbs | 23.5 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 13:50:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gq991/im_finally_managing_to_have_some_self_control/
---
...it's just a shame I need drugs to do it.

EC stacks are great at keeping me under my calorie allowance for the day, but I feel like I'm cheating. Like I can't possibly have disordered eating if I need to take drugs to restrict properly. I must be faking it. I'm just weak and stupid so I can't control myself around food like a normal person.

I know that the feelings of anxiety and guilt around eating and my weight are real, and definitely getting worse, but it feels self-inflicted. I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone, but it's the best way I can think of describing it.

Anyway, my mother is coming to visit me this weekend. I need to try and act normal for a few days. Anyone here remember how to do that?

---

[Rant/Rave] So frustrated at how me donating blood turned out
/u/ixxybitsy [5'3 | 146.8 lbs | 26.72 | -36 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 13:18:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gq3vs/so_frustrated_at_how_me_donating_blood_turned_out/
---
I don't think donating blood helps with my weight loss goals at all. :( Yesterday there was a blood drive at our school and I thought, why not. But afterwards they made me eat and drink 260 cal's worth of food and I still wasn't okay. I had to ask a friend to pick me up and had to shovel in a lot of food to deflect suspicion. And even then I felt so weird. Now it's the morning after and I still get these super inconvenient times when I don't want to eat any more calories but whiteness starts creeping into my line of vision and I'm scared that if I don't eat I'll probably get fked. Ughhhhhhhh :(

---

[Rant/Rave] Binged just now.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7 | 133.5 | 20.5| gw115| f]
Created: Wed Apr 27 12:57:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gq08g/binged_just_now/
---
On pickles :D no calories just water retention so I'm pretty happy and crazy full.

---

[Help] Vitamins Making Me Sick? [Warning: Gross]
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 12:04:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gpr2w/vitamins_making_me_sick_warning_gross/
---
So I've been dog sitting at my friend's apartment all week, and it's been great / terrible. The past two days have been okay but before that it was crazy b/p cycle because I'm home alone all the time, and I've even been working from home because the dogs are really needy. So before I got here I got a One a Day multivitamin and some Biotin because I am fairly vitamin deficient - and now every time I eat something I throw it up unintentionally. Like I'll have a small salad, and I'll either immediately have to go to the bathroom and throw it up, or leave the bowl beside me because I know for the next half hour, I'm going to be casually puking it up in small increments. I don't know if this is the vitamins I'm taking, or if it's me? I've never had this before. I'm not entirely sad about it mind you because it's made my life easier haha, but it's pretty inconvenient and then when I am out of the house it's pretty embarrassing to try and ignore the nausea.

---

[Rant/Rave] I can't get my head out of restrict-mode
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 124 | 22 | -21 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 12:02:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gpqt8/i_cant_get_my_head_out_of_restrictmode/
---
I've eaten near maintenance for two days to try to convince myself that I don't need to restrict so low. I feel like garbage already though. I feel so fat and hideous and my mind is telling me that the only way to be decent again is to restrct to 600 cals again.

Ugh, I don't want this and I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll try eating 1000 or something because at least that's still kind of "forbidden."

---

[Discussion] I don't know what to do.
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Wed Apr 27 11:55:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gppk6/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
---
My boyfriend found my fitness pal on my phone. We had a very rough talk. He wants a couple weeks to think things over. He says he wants be to weigh at least 115. I don't know if I can do that. The prospect of gaining back anything that I've lost, even if it's a small amount is nerve wracking. I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food. I never have. This is so hard wired into me that the thought of not tracking or logging just puts me in this state of anxiety. Like I'm losing a part of myself. Part of me wants to lose as much as I possibly can before we meet again and give recovery a shot. Part of me wants to pretend I'm recovering so I can have my cake and eat it too. And a very small part of me wants to do this the right way. Why am I not allowed to make myself happy. Why is that so wrong. Why do other girls get to diet and exercise their way to a dream body and not me.

---

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Uliana Lopatkina (Ballet)
/u/geidi_primes [5'11.5 | 152 | M]
Created: Wed Apr 27 11:54:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gppf7/thinspo_uliana_lopatkina_ballet/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T2UeKKac-s

---

[Goal] I will fit into a size zero damn it!
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7 | 133.5 | 20.5| gw115| f]
Created: Wed Apr 27 11:48:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gpo99/i_will_fit_into_a_size_zero_damn_it/
---
https://imgur.com/a/ysFGJ

---

[Rant/Rave] Incoherent ranting
/u/Flufferbutternutter [5'2" | 103 | 19.52 | -37 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 10:52:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gpe5n/incoherent_ranting/
---
My partner just asked how much I weighed after a conversation about how he thinks I'm developing an eating disorder. Today's wieght is 105. He then blurts out "oh, I would've guessed 115" followed up by "sorry, but your hips are meant to have babies. I don't think you'll look any different even if you lose more wieght".

Oh, and earlier today I went to grab myself a second rice cake and he told me no and got in a huge fight with me because he didn't want me to bitch about it later when it was literally PART OF MY DAILY PLANNED INTAKE. Jesus.

I want to go dig a hole and cry in it now and not eat for a week, but I have to eat because I'm nursing a baby. I literally look ten pounds heavier than I am and I will never be skinny and I want to cry so badly right now but I have to stay calm and get my teething baby to sleep. Ugh.

This all started because we were budgeting and I said I need $20 to go to the thrift store and find myself pants because all of my old ones are literally falling off of me. I actually was happy about that. And then with two fucking sentences I'm in a horrible mood. How did my life end up revolving around wieght and food like this?

---

[Other] I felt so horrible and fat after this week, this pic a uni mate took of me today kind of helped me, seeing that I am not as fat as I feel :)
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 |-12.4 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 10:49:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gpdq9/i_felt_so_horrible_and_fat_after_this_week_this/
---
http://imgur.com/lwKHvwV

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[Other] 111
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Wed Apr 27 10:49:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gpdpp/111/
---
I don't know how I'm freaking 111 pounds but I'm the happiest ever. I've been trying so hard to restrict and not binge, but that's been hard. And some how this morning I'm 111. I haven't weighed that much since high school.

Sorry, I just had to shaw with someone.

My boyfriend told me this morning I look like a fitness model.

(•_•)
<). .)>
/ \

---

[Other] cardio ain't bad; wish I had a food scale; reality clashes with safe foods
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 10:44:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gpcwq/cardio_aint_bad_wish_i_had_a_food_scale_reality/
---
I normally hate running, as it reminds me of running the mile in elementary school and it usually aggravates an old ice skating injury. But today I ran a mile and it was...ok? No cramps, no hip pain, it was almost like it was...fun?

I was quite proud of myself that I didn't stop or slow down once, and I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment when it was over.

I'm normally a body weight fitness kinda gal (Pilates, yoga, calisthenics), but I think I could get into more cardio if it goes as well as it did today.

In other news, down a half pound (won't change flair until I have a consistent drop), still on top of my game. Today's menu is planned (1350), the only trouble I foresee is serving my own dinner. If my husband serves it, god knows what the portion sizes will be. But if I can convince him to let me serve my own plate then I'm in the clear.

I wish I could get a food scale, but I don't want my husband to be concerned with my 'weight conscious behaviors'. I feel like a food scale is a step too far into the suspicion zone. I have to carefully tread the line between "I'm just a silly lady always on a diet!" and "very obvious display of ED behavior". The thinner I get, the harder it is to maintain that line.

Earlier today I was given the option of subbing out my safe lunch for an equal cal lunch from Panda Express. I chose not to because...well, I just don't trust *it*. I went over the numbers again and again; the Panda Express entree is the same cals as my safe lunch but..ugh its hard to describe, it just feels *wrong*.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this weird boundary I have, in the end I justified my decision by claiming I didn't want to the spend the money.

Has anyone else dealt with that? denying a certain food or dish, despite being equal or lesser cals, because its not considered safe?

If I ever have to go to therapy for this, I have a feeling my safe/unsafe boundary will be tough to crack.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Apr 27 10:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gp5l5/daily_food_diary_april_27_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] Hungry while working?
/u/StarryRainbows [5'3" | 102 | 20(?) l 5lbs l F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 08:40:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gornh/hungry_while_working/
---
[removed]

---

[Thinspo] All I want... [Thinspo]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 07:57:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4goksi/all_i_want_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/aAj3t

---

[Rant/Rave] Ugh!
/u/The_littlest_naylor
Created: Wed Apr 27 07:19:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gof9a/ugh/
---
Sorry... on mobile... not able to flair at the moment, but I can tell you it is a rant. A crying, whiny baby, kick myself rant.

I am so disappointed in myself. I made it through the day with calories to spare. Yeah! Right? Then I go and binge on stupid potato chips. Mindlessly shoving them into my fat face.

Ugh! I know it wasn't enough to completely derail progress but it will surely slow it down. It is already slow enough! I know tomorrow is another day but that isn't offering me much comfort at the moment.

Sorry...rant over. I'll be in the corner sobbing.

---

[Help] So I'm getting a tattoo... [help]
/u/IWant2BASkeleton [5'7" | 155.4lbs | 24.3 | -5.6lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 06:43:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4goaah/so_im_getting_a_tattoo_help/
---
No flair on mobile sorry!

So I'm sure all/most of you know the NEDA symbol. Well I'm getting it tattooed behind my eat (this should say ear but its funny how that happened) tomorrow. I'm not sure if that makes me a fraud though because I have no intention of recovering. But I also don't WANT to be sick. It's like, most of me knows that I should be keeping at a healthy weight and eating healthy foods in the right quantity, ect. But there's this other part of me that's in love with this demon and would never let her go.

The way my ed mostly manifests is this voice in my head constantly screaming whenever I'm eating. It's like every bite is WW3 in my head. Sometimes I win, sometimes she does. Sometimes I think I win until I can't hold it down any longer. I feel like this tattoo might be a step in the right (ish) direction. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll never not restrict to some degree. It just gives me power and control. But I can't take the constant fight in my head, I can't take the yelling.

So maybe if I have recovery behind my ear whispering back it'll be a little quieter in there. Who knows, maybe I'll even start to balance out. Doubtful, but possible I guess.

---

[Help] Ways to get more energy next to coffee and eating more food?
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Wed Apr 27 06:40:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4go9wz/ways_to_get_more_energy_next_to_coffee_and_eating/
---
It's been shit lately, slept 13 hours, still tired, showering made me out of breath so I had to do it while sitting and I had trouble opening a drawer, not even eating that little tho and caffeine makes me feel floaty and sick. So what can I try, different foods or supplements or something? Cause I can't really live like this.

Thanks in advance btw. \^^

---

[Other] Is anyone else here an artist/poet? Let's share our ED related creations!
/u/TeaCupGirl [5'8" | CW 125.6lbs | 19.1 | -14.4lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 06:12:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4go67r/is_anyone_else_here_an_artistpoet_lets_share_our/
---
I thought it would be nice if we could all share some of our creations! It can be hard to get cc or just show some of our work to other people when it becomes ED focused. I'll post some of mine down in the comments as well.

Can't wait to see your cool thingies

---

[Rant/Rave] I used to reminisce about the weight I used to be. Now I realize I never looked how I wanted to.
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 05:05:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gnyuk/i_used_to_reminisce_about_the_weight_i_used_to_be/
---
Like my flair says, I'm about 5'8", and I have been since I was about 15. When I was in high school, I weighed about 125 lbs, and now (almost 24) I weigh 20-25 lbs more, depending on the day. It came on very slowly in the past few years since I got ptsd and has been consistently in this range for a little less than a year.

Anyway, I constantly think to myself, *if only I could go back to the weight I was at in high school. Just 20 lbs less and I'd be happy.*

I went on my old Myspace to look at old pictures of myself for motivation and my heart sank. I was never *that* thin. I remember myself as a skinny mini, but looking at those pictures, I realize I was just a little more fit than average. Then all my memories came flooding back and I realized I felt the same as I do now. I don't even look very different. I've never been happy with my body, and I've never been self controlling enough to get where I want to be.

I hope this can be some sort of wake up call for me, so I can finally hit 110. Wish me luck, ladies.

---

[Other] See that tiny dot of light there? I see that tiny dot of light there! So tiny!
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Wed Apr 27 01:48:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gngz5/see_that_tiny_dot_of_light_there_i_see_that_tiny/
---
http://i.imgur.com/TZt4aUQ.png?1

---

[Help] How do you guys deal with actually having to get stuff done?
/u/depressionistaaa [5'8 | 144.8| 21.78 | not enough | F]
Created: Wed Apr 27 00:42:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gnapp/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_actually_having_to_get/
---
My lowest weight was 104 around 4 years ago and at the time I wasn't in school so I was able to devote a lot of time to restricting, exercising, and napping because I was tired all the time (lol).

I've been trying to claw my way back to my lowest weight for so long (its actually embarrassing) but when I'm writing papers for literally 15 hours a day (just got back from the library), I just have to eat 1200-1650 calories when ideally I would want sub 800. If I restrict to 800, I'm so tired all the time and my brain goes so fuzzy and my work is garbage. I'm mainlining coffee and the occasional amphetamine/ECA stack but I can't seem to both properly restrict and do school at the same time. Its causing so much stress because I can't control my eating the way I'd like. When I was in school and around 112 on around 1000/day, my grades were pretty atrocious and I cant have that again.

What do you guys do about that mental fuzziness/lack of concentration? P.s I'm sorry if this is too much into "asking for advice" but I need help on how to make the best of a bad situation; I'm not asking for any advice on how to restrict, just how to feel better when I am inevitably restricting.

---

[Tip] 34 calories breakfast instead of 160 calories breakfast? Yes please?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Tue Apr 26 23:51:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gn5o1/34_calories_breakfast_instead_of_160_calories/
---
Two hard boiled eggs: nearly 160. Two hard boiled eggs with no yolk: 34 calories.

Equally filling, in my opinion. And yes maybe the yolk is all of our favorite, but I mean... look at those numbers.

---

[Rant/Rave] I got dumped [rant]
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 23:44:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gn4w7/i_got_dumped_rant/
---
A few weeks ago. Doesnt matter. Lost a ton of weight at first... then the binges started. First i couldnt eat anything, now i cant stop eating. I literally just had froyo delivered with the intention of purging it. Wtf. I hate my brain and my heart and my body.


When he came to get his stuff, the first thing he said was "youve lost a lot of weight"

No shit. You broke my fucking heart, you shitbag. I couldnt eat or sleep.

Ugh. Back to MFP and Broncaid tomorrow. Gotta stop the B&P.

---

[Rant/Rave] Struggles
/u/chubbibunniii [5'8 | 169 | BMI ? | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 23:41:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gn4n6/struggles/
---
-finally gets into the 160s after having the stomach flu-

-maintains it for a couple of days-

...-period creeps up on me and I binge like crazy-

sigh :) I love this. *And* I already know that this weekend is going to be filled with drunken binges because my friends and I are going on a trip together. Ugh, someone throw some encouraging words my way, please? Thinking of fasting tomorrow..

---

[Help] Keto
/u/yemeyenkiz [5"6' | 125 lbs | BM I 20.83 | +25lbs |Female]
Created: Tue Apr 26 22:31:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gmwmj/keto/
---
Hi guys my boyfriend wants to try keto and I'm hoping it will help with my insatiable sugar cravings. However I'm not overweight (technically still a fat lard) so will it cause me to plateau or gain? I'm currently 110 and 5"6.Ill be eating on the lower side of the 'normal' range (1200-1500). I'm petrified I'll gain. If it's okay any tips to keep cals down while on keto? Any personal experiences ?

---

[Goal] Wow. Today was the closest I've come to liquid fasting...
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Tue Apr 26 22:07:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gmtnk/wow_today_was_the_closest_ive_come_to_liquid/
---
I had 40 oz of coffee with soymilk and two bites of samples when I was at the grocery store. I'm done eating for the day. I've always been in a cycle of b/p or at least eating small amounts or high volume because I felt like I "had" to eat. But today was different. I haven't done this in maybe 5 or so years.


I'm feeling a little sad, but mostly good...I do not want to go to treatment. I had a hard past two weeks and gained like, 4 lbs. But I'm going to get back on track. I have two weeks to lose as much weight as I can before I go into treatment. I don't want to do it. But it's too late...and I know I can't live like this forever, so I'll give it a try. But until then, I have to prove to myself that I can do something beyond what others can. I want to feel that sense of control...the power to override primal instinct.


I want to see if I can heavily restrict until Monday. I am so desperate to see 90 on the scale by May 11th.

---

[Goal] Home alone success!
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 22:04:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gmtb2/home_alone_success/
---
(Mobile, no flair)



I was home alone today and I didn't binge! For the longest time I was in a violent binge-restrict cycle which went CRAZY if I was left home alone. But you know what? I could control myself in the absence of others. I am so proud that I could. I am just getting back on track with my incredibly restrictive diet (ahem Jaime Lannister diet because he's my GoT babe) and it is working SO well for me. Finally it seems like I can get this fat OFF of me! Overall, I am in a raving good mood.

---

[Rant/Rave] I just had a very near miss w/ a binge. Both proud of myself and angry with myself.
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Tue Apr 26 20:45:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gmhvs/i_just_had_a_very_near_miss_w_a_binge_both_proud/
---
Title basically is the tl;dr. I had a celebration today and went out to lunch. I spent most of the calories I budgeted for the day there. Big mistake. I should have only eaten half. I would have been fine eating half. But I was worried about making the people I was celebrating with suspicious of my eating. I have lost like 65 lbs in the past year already. IDK. I'm glad they don't suspect anything, and it's impossible to know if they would have suspected anything had I only had half. Most people don't pay NEAR as much attention to other people as they do themselves. Still. I'm safe.

Anyway. The afternoon was fine, it was the evening where I started to have a problem. Hungry. Very hungry. I only wanted to have 100 calories more for the day so I decided to have some fiber one cereal. That usually does the trick. But no. Still so hungry. Decided to have another portion of fiber one cereal. That put me over my goal by 20 calories, but I was so so hungry. If I have to eat something, fiber cereal is usually a good choice. I was weak. I should have reminded myself that when I get that hungry there's no point to eating anyway because it's not like another 60 calories will fix it. But no, I didn't do that either.

I just kept eating. A slice of turkey breast. Another slice of turkey breast. Another slice of turkey breast. Six oz. 180 calories. Fuck me.

Still hungry. Not starving. If I hadn't already been eating I don't think I would have started eating, but now that I started eating I felt like I couldn't stop. I knew that I could but I was weak and I didn't.

Had a piece of chocolate. 45 calories.
Had another piece of chocolate. 45 calories.

One thing I think I do right, even when I'm making not great decisions, is I log. I knew where I was. 1172 calories.

Finally, finally I hit the brakes. I didn't want to ruin my 22 day cheat-free streak on the leaderboard. I stopped myself before I hit that number. I came so, so close. I lost control. I swerved. I'm glad I regained control before I could go over my hard limit.

I feel shitty that I swerved at all. But I'm proud of myself for stopping myself at a number that still leads to weight loss. I'm glad that me losing control is still a deficit for the day. I'm angry at myself for losing focus.

I don't know, I'm feeling all the feelings.

---

[Rant/Rave] Oh god. Why did I eat that?!
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Tue Apr 26 19:55:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gmade/oh_god_why_did_i_eat_that/
---
Second day staying over at a friend's house, and without my add meds to help with boredom and appetite, I found myself just eating. I had arby's drive through for two different meals. And that is on top of the chinese food and beer from last night. I just lost 5lbs and I know its all gonna keep coming back!

My plan is to try and fast thursday and friday, going into saturday if I can. I would start tomorrow, but I think after the binging I'll need at least one day of restricting (aiming for 600 cal) to get back into it.

I just feel miserable....

---

[Help] Free time
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Tue Apr 26 19:23:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gm5c0/free_time/
---
What do y'all do in your free time to avoid eating? I'm a college student and I'm about to start summer break which means being home for two months. How do you stay motivated and not just become lazy?

---

[Rant/Rave] Just got restricted on MFP
/u/FredMist [5'9.5" | 112 lbs | 15.9 | -11 | f]
Created: Tue Apr 26 19:17:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gm4fw/just_got_restricted_on_mfp/
---
Because they think I have an ED. I read through their terms of use and apparently they can just kick you off if they decide to. Nevermind that I've been eating at 1200~1450 consistently except for the one day I was too sick to way so only ate 950 and the days I eat up to 2200 because I'm out with friends.



I use MFP to ensure that I get enough nutrients. I'm not starving myself. I even make myself eat more at dinner when I'm full so that I can get enough nutrients. Just because my BMI is low doesn't mean I'm sick. They even gave me a link to go to in case I have an eating disorder. I'm so irritated.


Yah I know I'm on an ED subreddit but not once have I ever encouraged people into an ED and I often describe my 1400 calorie intake.


I have to find another way to track nutrients...or just lie about my weight on MFP

---

[Discussion] Does anyone look at fat thinspo?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 19:04:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gm2fc/does_anyone_look_at_fat_thinspo/
---
Like do you look at pictures of fat people (or people you think at fat) to motivate you to no gain so much weight or to maintain your weight?

---

[Thinspo] I'm 23 years old and watching gossip girl for the second time through but....
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 18:53:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gm0m1/im_23_years_old_and_watching_gossip_girl_for_the/
---
JENNY HUMPHREY IS THE BEST THINSPO TO BINGE-WATCH. SO IS BLAIRE WALDORF. And Blaire also has a low-key eating disorder throughout the series that is mentioned here and there (she also exhibits a lot of symptoms of ED such as perfectionism). Also, the show is on netflix :)

I love Taylor Momsen. Here is her subreddit incase anyone uses subs as thinspo: /r/taylormomsen. Her real-life look is a world's difference from her Gossip Girl look but I love both. I also saw her live with her band <33333. She is such a lovely.

---

[Other] I want to eat my feelings, but I also don't.
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 18:48:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4glzsj/i_want_to_eat_my_feelings_but_i_also_dont/
---
On mobile, sorry can't flair.
Last night during a regular grope, I felt what might be a sticky lump on my right boob. Friendly reminder to check your boobies sometimes, just to check! I have an appointment on Friday to see what it is, so I'm just living in Anxietyland until I find out. It could be nothing, it could be the worst. I want to eat all of the pudding in the world, but I also feel like running a marathon and never eating again. I'll probably find a common ground somewhere closer to the latter! Send good vibes!

---

[Help] help! I binged again
/u/qovserver [5'5 | 128 | 21.2 | 12lbs | female]
Created: Tue Apr 26 18:28:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4glwdt/help_i_binged_again/
---
I've been binging this whole week and I feel so shity about myself at this point. Anything I can do?

---

[Help] I feel like purging. Help!
/u/Lucky_Finn [5'0"| 145 | 27.5 l F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 17:54:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4glqy1/i_feel_like_purging_help/
---
I wanna preface this by saying I've never purged before. I've always had disordered eating, particularly, a lot of calorie restriction. I've been doing okay, more or less, but the past few days I feel like I've eaten anything and everything I could get my hands on. I'm the fattest I've ever been in a while and I just feel sick to my stomach. Not a sick from any food but a sick of who I am and all I can think about is that the bathroom in 5 feet away, I'm home alone, and maybe if I throw up, it'll make me feel better.

I really don't want to give in because I know it's a very slippery slope, one my own mom fell down. Please help me. Give me some strength, some advice to resist it.

---

[Goal] Decided to fast till finals are over
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'3.5| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 17:47:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4glpxk/decided_to_fast_till_finals_are_over/
---
After a horrible weekend home binging (and no purging) I gained 5 pounds (mostly water and food weight but it still scared me). I've only had coffee and diet coke since Monday and I plan to go on a liquid fast (under 600 calories) until my finals end next Saturday so I can reward myself when these exams are finallly over.

---

[Other] The best part of waking up...
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 16:58:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4glidd/the_best_part_of_waking_up/
---
http://i.imgur.com/ILsyGYq.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] This doesn't really belong here
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 16:23:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4glcqm/this_doesnt_really_belong_here/
---
Other than the fact that I'm at 600 cals for the day! I thought it would be a nice day, but I'm kinda grumpy. Plus my bf got a phone call and when I asked who it was, he wouldn't tell me. Like wtf? I trust him and he's awesome, but why can't you answer a simple question. Motherfuck. I made his lunch for tmrw, helped prep dinner for the family, and now I'm holes up in my room trying not to panic or take my anger out on them. My little one was like "what about mommy" ): I feel bad but man I don't wanna blow up. Fuck feelings dude. I can atleast be a skinny bitch I suppose!

---

[Rant/Rave] I thought y'all might appreciate my new found hip bones :D
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 108.5lbs | 19.37(new) | -23.5lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 15:55:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gl80y/i_thought_yall_might_appreciate_my_new_found_hip/
---
http://imgur.com/YIUwf9s

---

[Intro] I talked a doctor into giving me Duromine
/u/ctrl_alt_mermaid
Created: Tue Apr 26 15:44:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gl6a3/i_talked_a_doctor_into_giving_me_duromine/
---
I'm still at the point where I tell myself that I don't have an ED and that I could stop restricting at any time but I spend probably 2 hours a day staring at the food in my fridge trying to work out what i can eat that won't push me over 500 cals for the day. 99% of the time I end up walking away empty handed. I have all the ED traits, I was sick a few weeks back and spent 2 hours trying to work out how many calories were in the couch lollies I was having but when I couldn't find out I stopped having them because not knowing was worst then the pain in my throat.

So last week I talked a doctor into prescribing me Duromine. I'm from Austraila and I don't know what it's called in other countries but it's basically drug store speed which is supposed to be given only to overweight people. I'm not overweight. The appetite suppressant is so strong that I can easily fast the entire day, it's actually hard to eat and makes me feel ill at the thought of food the first few
hours after having it. It makes me want to get up and run a million miles, even without food when I usually feel weak from restricting so much. I always make sure I have eaten something small though so I don't fall over or faint in my gym. I love this stuff and I just had to tell someone.


I went to the doc, with soaking wet hair, filled my pockets with coins, wore two pairs of thick jeans and a baggy top and sat in the waiting room drinking a litre of water before I went in to make my plea. She weighed me and I came in at about 66kgs with all that and she went on rant about how I'm in the normal healthy weight range and I was sure she wasn't going to give it to me and that I would be off looking for another doc to try this on. I pulled out the tears and some made up story about how I used to swim and was really fit but I hurt my knee and had to stop so now I put on weight and am too embarrassed to get into a swimsuit in front of my swim team. Still she looked hesitant so I pulled out more tears and said I was eating because I was depressed because my BF broke up with me. I think I took that a bit far because she recommended I see a psych for depression and asked if I was thinking about suicide but she prescribed me Duromine and she even gave me a 3 month script for it. I couldn't believe it. I'm so happy I got it, I've been going from doctor to doctor for months and I finally got it. I'm so happy I just had to tell someone!


I guess this is my intro post too. Like everyone else I lurked here for months. In bed before I go to sleep and when I wake up I read every single post in this sub from the day and occasionally commented under my normal account but I made this one so I can comment more. I'm so excited and I feel like a part of a great community. I love you all! x

---

[Help] Getting it over with
/u/acronym_acronym [5' 11" | 130.4 lbs | 18.1 | -10 lbs | Male]
Created: Tue Apr 26 14:47:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gkwcg/getting_it_over_with/
---
I'm tired of this, I can't take this self-criticism that comes out every time I eat. It's not even about eating over my tdee; anything I eat makes me feel like a failure and like I was weak. I want to get better, not have food distract me every second of every day. I already have dysmorphia, but I've known it for a while. I haven't told anyone. I just need a way to stop this constant unhappiness and anger that comes from this self-denial I can't stop from happening. I don't know what to do.

---

[Rant/Rave] I just ate fucking everything
/u/stealgravity [5'5.5 | 128lbs (BMI 21) | -14.2lbs]
Created: Tue Apr 26 14:39:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gkuzx/i_just_ate_fucking_everything/
---
Gah. I got pretty good news lately and I've been celebrating like a proper hedonist but I feel fucking gross as Hell. I have no history of purging (no gag reflex) but my God I wanted to, I just felt sick being that full. My SO had insisted we go out for some kind of celebratory foods thing. I ate half of two fucking desserts plus a whole meal and two cocktails. Honestly I'd been heavily restricting all week hoping not to do too much damage but I had family come by and try to cook for me and although I stayed within my limit that day I still don't know if I nailed the deficit I needed even with the extra low days.

Tl;Dr eating like a normal person, worried I'm not gonna hit my goal. PS. Drunkface.

Also I'm wasted day drunk right now on cream based alcohol. Jeeeeesuuus.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm scared
/u/AlternateVision
Created: Tue Apr 26 14:14:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gkqo5/im_scared/
---
Let me begin by saying, I do not have an eating disorder. I am not anorexic, or bulimic, I can usually eat without needing to restrict.

I do.. eat *disorderd-ly* sometimes. I feel guilt when I eat, and overwhelming panic.. a sense of impending doom.

*You just at 400 calories in one sitting... do you know how much damage those calories are going to do to your figure?*

And because of this, I sometimes overeat. I think about eating, and not eating, so frequently, I am unable to stop focusing on food.

Which makes me feel even worse. When I have a depressive episode, it is easier to not eat because I become deeper entrenched in the idea I am worthless, and the only way to purify myself is via starvation.

I look back on my eating-related patterns over my life. I have always had a toxic relationship with food, but I think it's getting worse. I went from 130 to 115 in a couple months.. I'm back at 121 right now, and am torn between being paralyzed with fear of gaining it back, and the faint whisper that I should try to nip this thing in the bud.

But I need to be thin.

---

[Rant/Rave] Maybe it's time for me to give up
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Apr 26 14:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gkoe7/maybe_its_time_for_me_to_give_up/
---
I really can't seem to do this any longer. Every day has been bad for the past three weeks. I either ate too much, had a fight with a friend, binged/purged. I feel lonely and lost. I can't gain the weight back and I'm gaining it triple back the way I'm handling life right now. I really wish I could afford treatment. I'm so done with this. I was this gorgeous skinny thing with 99 lb (at 5"8) a few years ago and now.. Ugh.

I'm done fighting with my mind. Apperantly I'm just not as strong as I used to be.

---

[Goal] So far I have stuck to my plan
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 13:40:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gkkok/so_far_i_have_stuck_to_my_plan/
---
My boyfriend invited me to eat with him at mcdonalds. We are broke right now and I have a bunch of lean cusines I got with my ebt, so I made one of those and hid it in my purse and he is a dollar menu Champ and got his big meal for like $3. I didn't indulge in anything and nobody noticed me eating a microwave lunch lmao. I just wanted to share this mini success and semi hilarious scenario. Love yall!

---

[Tip] Harm Reduction thingies + add yours
/u/littlehungrycat
Created: Tue Apr 26 13:16:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gkg79/harm_reduction_thingies_add_yours/
---
Binging / Purging:


*Do not* brush your teeth right after you purge, due to effects of the stomach acid on your tooth enamel. You can swish around some tums or baking soda dissolved in water to help neutralize the acidity, but should still wait before brushing teeth.


Try to use fluoride toothpaste to slow tooth decay and tooth sensitivity. Floss every day. Go to the dentist! (They probably don’t actually hate you.) (They’ve probably seen worse.)


Stay hydrated before and after purging but don’t overdo it, as this can worsen the electrolyte imbalances caused by purging.


Purging causes [electrolyte]( http://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/bulimia/electrolytes-and-bulimia-why-is-this-a-big-deal) imbalances. Low potassium or *hypokalemia*, can cause major heart problems (e.g. arrhythmias, cardiomyopathy). Other symptoms can include weak/cramping leg or arm muscles, sometimes almost to the point that they feel paralyzed, tingling, nausea and vomiting, palpitations (irregular heartbeat), peeing a lot and feeling thirsty most of the time, and fainting. Some foods high in potassium: cooked beet greens, cooked parsnip, potatoes and sweet potatoes, dried apricots, tuna, prunes, artichoke, bananas, beets, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cantaloupe, salmon, clams, lentils, winter squash, blackberries, yogurt


Low magnesium, or hypomagnesaemia is especially likely if you frequently take laxatives or diuretics. Deficiency can cause muscle cramps and weakness, palpitations, tremors, jerking movements, hypertension, tachycardia, tetany, and epileptic fits. Alcohol causes your kidneys to excrete more magnesium, so drinking a lot puts you at extra risk. Some foods high in magnesium include: spinach, chard, yogurt, pumpkin seeds, almonds, black beans, avocado, tuna, chickpeas, lentils, brown rice, quinoa, dark chocolate, salmon, cashews, goat cheese, artichokes, figs, dried apricots


Purging can cause both low sodium (hyponatremia) levels (as you puke up the salty food) and high sodium (hypernatremia) levels (as puking dehydrates you). So stay hydrated and maybe try to drink something salty, like chicken broth. Hypochloremia (low levels of chloride ions in the blood) is often the result of hyponatremia and is associated with hypoventilation and chronic respiratory acidosis.


Purging can also mess with your calcium levels. To compensate for that, try to keep down some food high in calcium, such as: cheese, yogurt, milk, sardines, shrimp, spinach, kale, collard greens, broccoli rabe, some fortified cereals (check the label), fortified soy milk, fortified orange juice, soybeans, bok choy, figs


If you cough up bright red blood, it could be an esophageal tear. Sometimes these are minor but if this continues to bleed, go to the hospital. Chewing food that has the potential to cause tears (e.g. crunch stuff like toast) very thoroughly before purging, eating such foods with softer, easier-to-purge foods like ice cream, and keeping your nails short if you use your hands to help you purge can all help decrease risk of tearing. If you think you have an esophageal tear and decide not to go to the doctor, try to refrain from purging for at least a few days to give it a chance to heal. Darkish or dark brown blood, especially chunky or the texture of coffee grounds, indicates that the bleeding is happening lower in your GI tract. Go to the hospital ASAP.


If purging has been fucking up your digestion even when you try to keep the food down, taking soluble fiber can help your GI tract continue to function more normally.


Apparently chewing sugarless gum helps stimulate saliva, promoting teeth health. Chewing gum for an hour after a meal can [help reduce acid reflux]( http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1046/j.1365-2036.2001.00902.x/full). Going for a walk after eating can also help, to a lesser extent, reduce acid reflux in those who experience it.


Laxatives and diuretics: will not make you lose weight lastingly and will not keep you from absorbing the calories from a binge. They remove the water (and, yes, shit) weight from your body temporarily and can thus cause dehydration. So if you take them, try to drink water and get enough electrolytes (coconut water or sports energy drinks are an easy way to do both at the same time).


Chew-and-spit: doing this causes your body to essentially go into Get Ready For Food Mode – that is, it causes the pancreas to produce insulin, the liver to produce more gastric acid for digestion, and the stomach to secrete two hungry-inducing hormones, ghrelin and obestatin, which make their way to your brain. Here, they make you hungrier and cause tons of dopamine to be released onto the Nucleus Accumbens (aka the brain’s pleasure center) when you smell, taste, or even see food, making whatever binge food you’re staring at from across the kitchen seem like it will be the most rewarding thing ever to eat. Ghrelin also decreases feelings of fullness in the stomach. People with AN were found to “[have enhanced ghrelin and obestatin responses]( https://neurorexia.wordpress.com/tag/chew-and-spit/) after chew and spit, and this may be a strong factor in promoting hunger and loss of control over eating, ultimately leading to more chew and spit sessions and/or binging behavior.”


If you don’t purge after a binge, putting a hot water bottle near your stomach and sipping hot tea can help with stomach pain, as can sitting upright. Not restricting more than you normally would the next day (despite the urge to ‘make up for’ binging) can help you avoid or get out of the binge / heavily-restrict / binge / heavily-restrict cycle.

_____________

Restriction-related:


If multivitamins give you stomach pain / cramps, gummy vitamins can be easier (and are sold for adults, not just kids).

Calcium may help slow osteoporosis (decreased bone density and quality, associated with loss of regular menses). Also, calcium is depleted through purging. Take a calcium supplement with Vitamin D (as said vitamin is essential to the absorption of calcium. You can also get vitamin D from mackerel, salmon, tuna, and fortified milk / orange juice / soymilk / cereal.). Also take it with food. Your body best absorbs calcium in 500-600mg (or less) doses, so if you take more than that, try to divide it up throughout the day.


Your body more readily absorbs fat-soluble vitamins (Vitamins A, D, E, and K) when they are consumed with foods containing fats and oils. The amount of water-soluble vitamins (Vitamins C, B12, B9, B3, B6) in fruits and vegetables decreases the longer you store them, so fresh produce will have higher vitamin levels. To help maintain high vitamin content, you can eat vegetables raw, steam them, or cook them for the shortest time you can with minimal water.


Regular aerobic and resistance exercise helps reduce muscle loss (as opposed to fat loss) while at a caloric deficit, as does having a diet higher in protein. Eating something light half an hour or less before exercising, and making sure to stay hydrated, can help reduce risk of fainting.


Easy bruising and fatigue are often signs of iron deficiency but can also be cause by Vitamin K deficiency (especially if you have recently been on a course of antibiotics), or Vitamin C deficiency (aka scurvy, not just for pirates). If you take an iron supplement, take it with vitamin C (in pill or food form) to aid absorption.


Getting too few or too many hours of sleep per night is associated with weight [gain]( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ingrid-prueher/too-much-or-too-little-sleep-can-lead-to-weight-gain-and-disease_b_8112778.html) and can increase cravings for carbohydrate-rich foods, raise your cortisol (stress hormone) levels, and decrease glucose and insulin sensitivity, increasing risk of diabetes.


To help maintain healthy skin, hair, and nails, try to get enough of vitamin A, B, C, and E, zinc, iron, and possibly biotin (though some researchers are still arguing over this one).

__________

If you’re having suicidal thoughts and want to try a helpline, here is the [National Suicide Prevention Lifeline]( http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/).


More specific to eating disorders is NEDA’s confidential [Information & Referral Helpline and Click-to-Chat]( http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/information-referral-helpline).


__________
Anyway, if anyone has anything to add or correct, please do and I will edit the post to include it. And yeah, thanks for helping me feel not so alone n stuff. I wanted to give something back, so I hope this is helpful.

---

[Rant/Rave] ugh, I just want to eeeaaattt
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 13:09:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gkf2u/ugh_i_just_want_to_eeeaaattt/
---
Despite eating my portioned lunch and not actually feeling hungry, I just want to eat something. Sugar free gum isn't cutting it anymore, nor is sucking down all this water and tea.

I'm trying to refocus on the fact that my new extra-small work out clothes came in, dinner is going to be larger than I'd like (840 cal, yikes!), if I stick to my plan I'll probably be down another half pound tomorrow, and I have a stack of fitness magazines on my desk I could flip through.

tick...tock...

its like every minute is a fucking battle.

maybe I could C/S some chips? Ew, its so gross, and I still ingest some calories, but its taken the edge off this restless desire before.

I wish I could boycott dinner and go stuff fried rice into my facehole ASAP. But I know, *I KNOW*, I'd feel worse physically/financially/emotionally and that the cal count would be worse than the dinner my husband is making.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

And to top things off, I forgot to take 250 steps in the last hour so I wont get a 'perfect day' on my little fitbit graph and this bothers me waaayyy too much. -_-

UPDATE: the feeling has subsided. I unfortunately C/S some fritos, but I was efficient as possible with the spitting part. (grumbles, still ingested *some* cals). I redirected my energy towards doing the work I'm paid to do (haaaahaha this is what happens when the boss is gone for 2 days), but overall I feel ok, balanced, no longer desperate and bored.

---

[Discussion] About rule 6 of this subreddit...
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Tue Apr 26 12:36:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gk97y/about_rule_6_of_this_subreddit/
---
"Members may not ask other members to comment on whether they are fat or skinny. There are other subs for that kind of feedback."

Yes, there are. Like /r/amifat. And maybe /r/AmISkinny, with a total of two posts.

But let's talk about 'amifat'. Most people there happen to be easily twice my size (or more), and yet the comments are all 'oh you could maybe use a little bit of workout and you're good to go' or 'no you're not fat you're just a little bit of a chubby coon haha'.

... If I were to post there for an opinion, I'm sure it'd get downvoted to hell, as they would think I'm trying to show off how I'm tiny.

Which I'm not, compared to people on /r/proED.

Do you see my problem? Not trying to be rude, I love this subreddit, but that rule is driving me nuts. I'm in serious need of a legit opinion, and /r/amifat would piss on me.

---

[Other] Thanks and goodbye
/u/sorry_ari
Created: Tue Apr 26 12:17:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gk5te/thanks_and_goodbye/
---
I never formally introduced myself, but I do want to formally say goodbye. I was a lurker here, and then an infrequent poster because while I don't have an ED, I connected with a lot of what was written here. I have mixed feelings about whether this is a place of support or codependency. Sometimes it felt like one, sometimes it felt like the other. But I stuck around because people here understood, and I could say here what I couldn't say elsewhere. I could be upset about something that felt "stupid" and I didn't have to worry about people being scared for me, making sad faces at me, or worse, telling me I looked "fine."

I feel OK right now, good even. I have upped my intake to healthy levels of eating and nutrition, but I'm still under my TDEE almost daily. I no longer feel anxious and upset and trapped in a body I don't recognize. I'm not at my GW by any means, but I am on my way there. I am recognizing stalls, water retention, and slow progress for what they are, and though it all, I can see a light at the end. Even if I fixate on parts of me the way that I always have, even if the dysmorphia persists, the truth is that I'm not a perfectionist. I'm content with a job well done. Mentally speaking, I feel a lot freer than I have in years, even when I was at my LW, even when I was at my fittest.

I want to thank this sub for being a dedicated and supportive community, even if at times maybe codependent, and for being there to help me manage my crazy and remind me that I'm not alone. And if I can't wish the above for you, I can wish that much.

Cheers!

---

[Tip] Twinings do salted caramel and cherry bakewell flavoured tea! Hopefully they'll help kill my dessert cravings.
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 142 lbs | 23.5 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 12:06:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gk3s2/twinings_do_salted_caramel_and_cherry_bakewell/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/e76b9f8e4f1b4fe09b72cccb7098509b?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c66c2590afa49a6a6cbdb6d93b8919e0

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[Help] I literally can't stop eating and I don't know what to do (extremely incoherent rant)
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 12:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gk342/i_literally_cant_stop_eating_and_i_dont_know_what/
---
For the past 3 days now, I can not stop eating. It's healthy food, like steamed veggies and raw nuts and beans, but because of CICO I'm wayyyy over my TDEE. I just want so so much of it.

Last night before I went to bed I had a mini panic attack which ended up with me shoving walnuts and pepitas in my mouth as fast as possible. I'm so fucked. I usually don't have nuts in the house. Other than that, I'm binging on my safe food which is scary. Broccoli, cauliflour, edamame, it's all entering my body at alarming volumes. I ate 500 calories of steamed veggies TWICE yesterday along with a vegan protein bar, tempeh, tofu, rice noodles, and the lord knows what else. I've clocked in at 2000 cals the past three days which is 600 over my TDEE. I am going to gain weight if nothing changes. I just want to cry. Oh, did I mention I'm stacking every morning and it's still happening? Nothing. Is. Working.

I have a beach trip this weekend and I wanted to feel okay in a bathing suit. At this rate I don't even know if I have the will to go.

I don't know what's making me so hungry. Usually it doesn't feel impossible at all to fast but I literally feel out of control. I don't know if it's because I might be getting my period or what but holy shit I'm dying. I need to know how to not feel this uncontrollably hungry. I'm eating more than my body needs.

It's crazy a week ago I fasted on Monday, had a protein bar Tuesday, and a salad on Wednesday. What happened? Has anyone been through this? What the heck am I supposed to do!?

---

[Discussion] How do you know if you have body dysmorphia?
/u/mrsalwayswright
Created: Tue Apr 26 11:42:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gjznd/how_do_you_know_if_you_have_body_dysmorphia/
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I honestly can't tell. I feel like I would be ok with my weight if I had a pretty face but whenever I look in the mirror I feel like I look like shrek.

I feel like I will never be pretty enough and everyone is always looking at me like I am a hides beast...

Can anyone relate?

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[Discussion] how to decide on a goal weight?
/u/my_body_my_rules [5'5 | 139 | 52.31 | 90ish lbs| female]
Created: Tue Apr 26 11:13:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gjuf3/how_to_decide_on_a_goal_weight/
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simple question, not so simple answer.. how do you decide on a goal weight?

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How to keep someone proED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 26 10:27:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gjm6r/how_to_keep_someone_proed/
---
[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Food is expensive.
/u/DrowsyDoll [5'11 | Big | Fat | Whale | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 10:21:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gjl4j/food_is_expensive/
---
Does anyone else limit their intake of "good" food... what i mean is, i wuld love to eat chinese every time i b/p, but i cant afford that... so i tell myself i can *treat* myself if i stick to b/p only things like ramen and kraft mac n cheese for a few days, then i can have whatever im craving as a reward for my next b/p... i think its my way of not over stressing my throat too, cuz no matter how good i am at it, it still tears me up.... im writing this right now cuz im craving chinese (obviously) and have been good for 2 days now, just one more and i can have what i want.. i wish food wasnt such a reward. why cant something else feel as good. because it defiently doesnt feel good after... just pure shame and anxiety

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Looking for skinny girls
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 26 10:16:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gjk5c/looking_for_skinny_girls/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Apr 26 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gjhmb/daily_food_diary_april_26_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] hopefully back in restriction saddle; advice on how to enjoy a splurge meal?
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 09:42:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gje78/hopefully_back_in_restriction_saddle_advice_on/
---
Yesterday was good; I stayed at 1400 cal, walked a ton (5+ miles), it was beautiful out, and I avoided bingeing on chips at work. Down half a pound today, if I can keep this momentum going then perhaps I can break out of this 113lbs plateau by the end of the week.

I noticed restriction works best when I have my entire days menu planned out. If only everyday was regimented like this.

However last night while laying in bed I wondered, will I ever be able to eat greasy Chinese food/Hibachi Japanese food again? Greasy Chinese food/Hibachi Japanese food are like my most favorite splurge meals ever, but I only have them once, maybe twice a year. But now that I'm fully submerged in my ED, will I ever allow myself to splurge without copious amounts of guilt and regret?

Mother's day is coming up, as well as my birthday; two days where I'll be treated to a splurge dinner by my husband. Last year we chose Indian and Mediterranean, this year I actually really want greasy Chinese food and Hibachi Japanese food. And no, I have absolutely no interest in subbing in "healthy" options, the whole point of a splurge meal is to go all out; no restrictions, no calorie counting.

In the past I could do it, however back then I had a more normal relationship with food but I was also about 10-15 pounds heavier.

I know its 2 meals for an entire year. A mere blip on a long downward trend of weight loss. I never splurge on thanksgiving or x-mas as I don't like the traditional fare, so it really is only 2 days of mentally checking out compared to 363 days of calorie monitoring and restriction.

And yet, I'm already worried/over thinking it.

Any advice on how to turn off that...calculator in my head and just enjoy my two splurge meals for the year?

---

[Help] [Update] New week, new goals
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 08:53:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gj5rd/update_new_week_new_goals/
---
I don't know if anyone remembers or cares, but last Monday I committed to eating at a net calorie gain of 0 and increasing my exercise levels.

Every day since then I have completed a 1-hour hot vinyasa yoga class (which I understand burns 400-500 calories but I log as 300 to be safe), and a 5-7 mile walk/run. My net calories for the week were averaging at 93 per day, which, while not 0, was actually much better than expected myself to do. So yay me.

Then, yesterday my period started and I was suddenly RAVENOUS. It was like all the extra exercise showed up and demanded to be compensated in food at the same moment every sugar craving on the planet clamored in my brain. I ate like a fucking animal. Which means I consumed 1400 calories which is exactly my BMR and really didn't fuck anything up at all. I should still be losing, right?

I HAVEN'T LOST A FUCKING OUNCE.

Every fucking day I've weighed in at exactly 133.0 and I'm about to murder a small furry animal. What the fuck is wrong with this picture?

I'm trying to tell myself that I'll woosh down after my gd period is over, but I'm still pretty upset. Does anyone have any advice?

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[Rant/Rave] No soup for you!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 08:41:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gj3x0/no_soup_for_you/
---
And by *you* I mean *me*.

I had 1 cup of soup for dinner on Sunday and 1 cup last night. Yesterday morning I was down .8 pounds but this morning I'm UP .4 pounds! I drank a ton of water last night (64 oz to be exact) and took a diuretic and peed like a dozen times before I went to bed to balance the sodium from the soup but it failed. Gahhh I feel like shit. I had a feeling this would happen which is why I put off having soup for so long, but I'm not grocery shopping until all my safe foods are gone and soup ~~is~~ was one of my safe foods. I'm never having soup again...despite how delicious and low cal it is.

Overused Seinfeld quotes aside, I'm really upset about my weight being up today! I know it's water weight because there's literally no way I gained almost half a pound by eating 390 calories yesterday. But still. I was so motivated after seeing the scale read 116.6 yesterday and I really want to hit 115 by Monday! I think I might fast one or two days this week to make it happen. 500 calories seems too high for me to eat, but if I can hit that calorie goal, I might try to workout a little bit today as well. It was rainy and windy yesterday so I couldn't go on a run but today seems pretty okay. Oh, and I'm riding today so that'll help.

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[Intro] Newbie here!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 26 08:04:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4giy3b/newbie_here/
---
Well. New account, I used to be /u/Thinnocent up until /u/Klairvoyant banned me for thinking I was a troll after submitting proof photos. The irony.


Anyways, hey all! I want to try and keep this short and sweet but I've been struggling with disordered eating and cycling between restriction, overexercise and periods of normal eating since I was 12, so about 8 years and still counting. I'm not diagnosed with anything right now but once I'm covered with health insurance I might try and seek one out just in case I decide to give recovery a try :)


I just wanted to post and make a reintroduction since I'm going to start being more active on this sub <3

---

[Help] Tips on getting shit moving (literally)? Warning: all TMI
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.6 | 19.68 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 07:10:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4giq2q/tips_on_getting_shit_moving_literally_warning_all/
---
I've been upping my calorie intake lately in preparation for my half marathon (in less than 2 weeks!) and I think my bowels are confused about the increase in food because I haven't gone in nearly a week (last proper BM was last Wednesday night).

I drink plenty of water (running sees to that, plus my pee is a healthy color). I've used all my normal tricks (coffee, chia seeds, long walks, carrots & cucumbers, better grains), it hasn't helped. I bought laxatives, and still nothing after 2 doses of two pills each. I'm going to take another dose tonight and if that doesn't work a I'm going to get some Movicol (recommended by the pharmacy where I got the laxatives).

But seriously! I look fucking pregnant. I'm skinny everywhere else but I have this hard, distended stomach. I feel so uncomfortably full all the time (no pain, thankfully), and I feel like such a whale. I'm fucking terrified to step on the scale but not knowing is killing me.

So how do you give yourself a food baby abortion?

---

[Discussion] What's the most triggering thing someone has said to you?
/u/TeaCupGirl [5'8" | CW 125.6lbs | 19.1 | -14.4lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 06:10:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gii9c/whats_the_most_triggering_thing_someone_has_said/
---
Curious to hear what people have said that triggered you intentionally or unintentionally! For me it would have to be when I told my dip shit ex-manager that I couldn't keep working in the grocery department because my muscles had atrophied and I couldn't lift the boxes. He says to me "you keep saying that, you're not even that small. What are you, 105 pounds?" I was 115 and had a bmi of 17.5, shittiest day ever. Now I'm even bigger and I think of it all the time.


What about you guys? Who's the asshole in YOUR life?

---

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A April 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Apr 26 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gihad/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_april_26_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Thinspo] I'm not one for reverse thinspo but damn, do you still want that cookie?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Apr 26 03:25:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gi1cc/im_not_one_for_reverse_thinspo_but_damn_do_you/
---
http://youtu.be/0W2yMpjSr48

---

[Help] Had an anxiety freak out tonight and need help :( (self harm trigger)
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 02:45:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ghy1p/had_an_anxiety_freak_out_tonight_and_need_help/
---
Hey loves, this doesn't really have to do with my ED but this is where I'm most comfortable going to when I need help because you all are just super understanding and helpful.
So tonight I got in a bad fight with my boyfriend (about like my issues with sex due to past abuse and my ED) and ended up beating up my legs REALLY hard like to the point where I can barely walk. I know there's gonna be huge bruises and I've never done it so much and so hard before so I don't really have excuses for when people see them and was wondering if anyone can offer any type of advice for what to tell people? I don't want anyone to think my boyfriend is abusive or anything, but I don't want anyone to know it was self harm either...I'm a nanny and I know it's gonna be really hard to work tomorrow because I'm going to be in a ton of pain and I don't know what to tell the mom I nanny for either.

If anyone can offer any type of advice for what to say about why I'm walking weird or why there's giant bruises on my legs, I'd really appreciate it.

I just feel like such a fuck up tonight. Impulsive acting as usual.

:(

---

[Other] I'm teetering on the edge of recovery.
/u/Vaxn [Don't | worry | about | it | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 01:39:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ghslh/im_teetering_on_the_edge_of_recovery/
---
Except nothing would feel more refreshing than diving straight back into my ED.

I'm not supposed to be here, this is a new account. Someone I care very much about asks me not to come here and says it's bad for me, but I like it here.

When I'm at my worst there is nothing and no one that is more important than my ED behaviors/thoughts/habits. This disorder is lonely and insidious. I was sort of okay for a while, but I can hear the thoughts still lurking in the back of my mind, slowly creeping and crawling their way to the front. They're so deceptive too. They twist people's words around and make me interpret them as insults, they distorts images - anything to justify my old behaviors. Very tricky.

I know this, and yet I miss it. I feel my best at what objectively is my worst. Everything is quiet, empty, calm. I feel in control, I feel accomplished. I'm capable of liking myself in these moments.

I don't want to listen to the arguing in my head anymore. One side rationalizing eating and other side justifying starving. I’m tired.

I don’t know what to do.
I like it here, where people understand.

---

[Rant/Rave] The bathroom door started squeaking...
/u/DrowsyDoll [5'11 | Big | Fat | Whale | F]
Created: Tue Apr 26 01:20:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ghqv4/the_bathroom_door_started_squeaking/
---
i just binged a gross amount of fries and had to purge... but the creaking sound made my boyfriend wake up a bit cuz its close to our room and i cant risk him being kinda awake... its not worth the fight... so now im sitting in the living room waiting to hear his breathing get deeper so i know hes sound asleep before i can go in there... i can feel my stomach digesting... i guess ill have to put WD40 on it tomorrow when hes at work, cuz god forbid someone knows when i go in there... im so tired of this...

---

[Thinspo] Favorite Thinspiration quote?
/u/AlternateVision
Created: Mon Apr 25 20:52:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ggwew/favorite_thinspiration_quote/
---
Hey all! I am a long-term lurker, who also happens to be interested in web development. For one of my projects, I'm putting together a list of thinspiration quotes, and making a quote generator.

Any cool online features you would be interested in, please let me know and I'll consider implementing them. I don't have images (yet), but I'm not sure if I could find a way to incorporate pictures tastefully.. still thinking on that.

---

[Discussion] What's your cut off time for food?
/u/Frinada [5'4 | 141.8 | 24.3 | -6.2lbs | Woman]
Created: Mon Apr 25 20:49:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ggvzt/whats_your_cut_off_time_for_food/
---
Just curious if anyone stops eating at a certain time and if that works well with restrictions.

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[Discussion] Tracking water: Do you count zero calorie sports drinks?
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 146.2 | 26.61 | -49.8 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 20:41:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ggupw/tracking_water_do_you_count_zero_calorie_sports/
---
I have a fitbit and I try to track my water intake. I was wondering something though since I drink a lot of the zero calorie sports drinks (Powerade Zero). Would anyone count that as water intake or no? If I drink a lot of those, I find myself drinking less actual water. Just a random thing that popped into mind earlier today.

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[Rant/Rave] I don't even care if no one reads this shit honestly. I just need to document this somewhere publicly for myself.
/u/ProEdThrowaway
Created: Mon Apr 25 20:30:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ggt3y/i_dont_even_care_if_no_one_reads_this_shit/
---
I used to be 242 pounds.

I'm a 5'9 guy and I would gorge myself on thousands of calories multiple times a day when I was at the point that I would consider rock bottom.

Over the past year and a half I got down to 163 pounds as of January 1st 2016 and as of April 10th or so of 2016 I was 148.6 pounds.

As I reach closer and closer to my increasingly mouth watering goal of 120 pounds, I am starting to feel as though I am losing control again.

I'm now sitting at 156 pounds. Who knows how much is only water weight at this point.

I am currently on day 5 of a binge streak and I am writing this post with an aching stomach from my last gluttonous binge.

Binges have slowly reentered my life over the past few months and hindered my progress.

No more.

No fucking more.

No more "tomorrow is a new day, eat what you want today and then start again tomorrow". Tomorrow is always a day away and tomorrow is only what I make of it today god dammit.

So no I'm not starting to take action tomorrow. I'm starting right the fuck now.

See you at 120 pounds, you perfect people.

---

[Other] I'm going paleo!
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 20:07:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ggpsf/im_going_paleo/
---
I'm vegan, and now I'm going paleo as well! I'm actually feeling so good about having words to describe what I can eat.

How has going paleo been for other people?

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[Intro] Just introducing myself.
/u/WintryBones [5'4" | CW: 91lbs. | GW: 84lbs. | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 19:14:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ggi06/just_introducing_myself/
---
Hello, I hope you are all doing well.

I am Wintry. I am a 24-year-old female who was diagnosed with EDNOS at age 16, but my restricting/purging habits started when I was around 11. I feel desperate to just reach my goal weight and get away with maintaining that, but I also fear one of my doctors taking notice and trying to force me into a recovery program. I've been an inpatient in a psych ward (that's where I got my EDNOS diagnosis), but I cannot go back to a place like that. I also cannot afford it financially or for a treatment program to throw me off track with my college schoolwork.

I'm just hoping to speak with like-minded people who won't treat me like a freak, won't berate my desire to be skinny, and who understand where I am coming from.

Thank you for reading!
Feel welcome to ask me questions.
Wintry

---

[Goal] Alright! I am getting back on track
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 19:08:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ggh3c/alright_i_am_getting_back_on_track/
---
I have a meal plan set up for tommorrow that is less than 800 kcal. I am also forcing my fat lazy ass to go to the fucking gym for atleast 15 to 30 mins before work. This weekend and this weight will and best get the fuck off me. No more high cal drinks. No more fatty family meals. Just a lean cusine and gummies. If that. Maybe a slice of 40 cal bread. I got vegan burgers that are 90 kcal. It's gonna be a good week. If i have to break my fast I have only safe foods left. My grandma is "dieting" so hopefully she will stop bringing crap home and I'm not going to get into it anyway because I will be in control. Stay gorgeous loves! Here's to a good week.

---

[Intro] New to this subreddit, not to this life though
/u/Canttakecriticism
Created: Mon Apr 25 17:08:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gfzid/new_to_this_subreddit_not_to_this_life_though/
---
Hi r/proED
I am using an alternate account from my normal account as some people know it.

I guess this is where I'd introduce myself? My name is V, I currently weigh about ~150lbs and I'm 5'5". Im 23 years old and have had eating issues since I was 13. I weigh the same I did when I was 13 and developed my ED, so I'm feeling pretty shitty now. My low weight was about 2-3 years ago. I was ~95 lbs. I felt happiest then. My clothes fit, I could curl up in the desks at school, make myself tiny. Now I feel like some big whale.

At 13 I started purging. I would binge eat ridiculous amounts though and purge hours later so I gained tons of weight. I'm in the same situation now. I'll binge and binge and binge with the intent to purge but I usually just fall asleep or don't do it (I don't know why I don't).

At around 16 I started restricting more and dropped to 110 within half a year. My family was concerned, but I ended up around 120 by my 17th and they were happy with that. 17 was an age where I got really into working out. I used to eat A LOT but then spend 3+ hours at the gym a day so I was in good shape.

That kept going until 19, I was about 125 pounds and felt too big so I started restricting a lot and dropped down to below 110. I felt really good, and kept restricting. It took a long time but I got down to 95 after a lot if sleepless nights and hunger pains.

At 21 I had a terrible breakup and turned to food for comfort. Spring 2014 I was about 115 pounds. Spring 2016 I'm 150ish. I can't stand the way I binge anymore, but I can't stop. Im so tired of being fat. I hate my body. I'm going to Vegas in August and if I'm not at least 120 lbs by then I'll lose it.


This was really ranty. I'm sorry ):


I used to be part of the tumblr Ana/Mia side but it's been a while and I frequent Reddit so I figured I'd come here. I have an insta account I use to follow thinspo accounts though.

---

[Help] What to eat!?
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Mon Apr 25 15:24:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gfj2t/what_to_eat/
---
I've eaten about 250 calories today so far, and my friends want to take me out to chinese food for dinner. Unfortunately, I know the place we are going is super greasy and fatty and I have no idea what to even choose.

Here is a link to the menu: http://www.menupix.com/menudirectory/menu.php?id=1016637

They are also going here for food, so that's an option too: http://www.flintcrepe.com/crepes

I want to go and have fun, and my friends know I'm on a "diet" so they are totally just letting to what ever with food, but I don't want to just not eat as I know it will make them feel really bad and I really want to celebrate my friend's promotion with them!

Please help! I have like an hour to figure this out!

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[Rant/Rave] When it's 1:00pm and you have no calories left for the day
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 13:59:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gf4an/when_its_100pm_and_you_have_no_calories_left_for/
---
http://imgur.com/uiqnF4h

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[Help] .6 g of protein per lb of CURRENT body weight or GOAL body weight?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 13:21:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gexm6/6_g_of_protein_per_lb_of_current_body_weight_or/
---
I want to try focusing on meeting my daily protein goal but I don't know if I should be shooting for the RDI for my current weight or my goal weight? I read that for obese people (which my BMI indicates I am) I should go by the RDI for my *goal* body weight. Which do you use- current or goal weight?

---

[Other] Anyone else like snapchatting their food?
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 13:03:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4geufs/anyone_else_like_snapchatting_their_food/
---
I don't do this with very obviously lowcal/ed foods to friends who I don't want to know about my extreme restriction. But I do intermittent fasting and usually make one meal in the afternoon with about 200-550 calories for my daily intake, and I absolutely love spending time to make it look and taste delicious while still being as low cal as possible. I'll very occasionally instagram some particularly nice looking meals, but I don't wanna be one of *those* people, yanno? Just thought I would see if anyone wants to add me on snapchat that kinda does the same thing? I would just post my snap name but its too personally identifiable, but if you comment I can PM mine!

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[Rant/Rave] I binged in public
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Apr 25 13:00:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4getuz/i_binged_in_public/
---
Oh I'm so ashamed. I was at a bday party (you know, the one where I ate the present from) and it was at this all you can eat restaurant. And I had so many healthy options but what did I eat? Bread (they fucking fry the bread there), Rice with veggies and even some chips. I ate so much and there were so many people watching probably.

Ugh.

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[Help] Vegetable cravings
/u/Indigobeet [162cm | 62kg | 24.3 | 0 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 12:25:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4geo0p/vegetable_cravings/
---
Has anyone had this happen to them? I've had two bags of veg, steamed and salted today and I want more. I know this isn't a proper complaint but I find it so odd that I'm craving broccoli instead of the sweets in my pantry. I've been averaging 500-600 cal a day (low for me, I've always had more or binged) and taking a vitamin supplement daily.

Any thoughts?

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[Rant/Rave] Ugh i had to eat normally because of family
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 12:19:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gemwb/ugh_i_had_to_eat_normally_because_of_family/
---
And I'm up 2 lbs already. This weekend was horrible binge wise. It started off great. But I'm up to 110 and I have to eat dinner tonight too. I can't purge because my dad will hear it and it's been longer than 30 mins ); I'm so sad. Maybe today can be a holiday and I'll eat like a bird tonight and pace a lot an then I'm restricting so hard tommorrow. I know they mean well but goddammit I hate food.

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[Rant/Rave] Does anyone here desperately want an eating disorder? [rant]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 25 11:28:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gee4v/does_anyone_here_desperately_want_an_eating/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] Sweet'n'Sour
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 |-12.4 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 11:02:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ge9m8/sweetnsour/
---
If you have, like me, a major weakness for those sour/sweet candy stuff, I just found the best thing if you crave those!

Water with fresh lemon juice and artificial sweetener. It just tastes like sweet/sour candy, and comes in with only a few calories!

This revelation made my day :)

If you have any other of those 'hacks,' please share, I'd really love to hear them! I already know about the [Teekanne cake teas](http://www.amazon.de/Teekanne-Fr%C3%BCchtetee-Sweeteas-4er-Set/dp/B01DVXOVCK/ref=sr_1_3?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1460887715&sr=1-3&keywords=blaubeer+muffin+tee) (they are awesome by the way!)

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 25 10:03:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gdz4p/daily_food_diary_april_25_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] My perspective is going
/u/ariadne2b [5ft6 | 103 lb | 16.9|-17lbs | female]
Created: Mon Apr 25 09:58:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gdyd2/my_perspective_is_going/
---
I ate two sticks of celery and half a carrot today so far and it feels as though I overate. This happens every time I start to successfully lose weight; my intake drops and drops and then even the smallest amount during the day feels like too much.

I know rationally this is not an excessive amount of food and that I'd be better off long term on a less restrictive diet but I literally can't get myself to eat anymore now.

I need to maintain at this point, not keep restricting, but I can't stop; I have to eat less than the day before and each time I go to eat, my brain talks myself out of it. Anyone else have this?

---

[Discussion] I just realized how tired of this I am...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 09:44:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gdw2u/i_just_realized_how_tired_of_this_i_am/
---
I'm ready for it to stop... I miss enjoying life. I miss not hating myself all the damn time. I just want to be able to enjoy what little time I have here. But I don't even know how to stop caring... it's been a part of me for so long now. Who even am I without all of the fucked up shit that's in my head? How do I even start?

I'm just so tired of suffering...

---

[Rant/Rave] Swimsuit season -- oh god no.
/u/christmoose [5'6" | 121.2 lbs | 19.56 | -34lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 09:23:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gdsfb/swimsuit_season_oh_god_no/
---
I've been trying to work on that recovery thing for a while. Have a really positive relationship with someone and I've been able to talk with him about it and its been okay.

Except he wants me to meet his parents. At a pool party. Suddenly the idea of having to put on a swimsuit is sending me into a full fledged panic. How in the fuck am I supposed to meet his family at a pool party? I haven't bought a swimsuit since I was at my LW and I'm panicking a little. I cried in the swimsuit section of the store yesterday because I couldn't bring myself to put one onto my fat fucking body.

Swimsuits are so much pressure. They let everyone know IMMEDIATELY how confident in you are in your body and balancing the line between not being confident and not wanting to show my SOs family just how uncomfortable I am with myself is really stressing me out.

---

[Goal] My new motivation + first EC stack ever :)
/u/melcatx
Created: Mon Apr 25 09:17:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gdrlt/my_new_motivation_first_ec_stack_ever/
---
Hello everyone,
I always lurk here on my main account but finally decided to make a post on my alt account! I just wanted to share something exciting in my life that is giving me new motivation to lose again.

I always do better when I have a specific goal in mind. For example, I went on vacation to Florida for Christmas, and the months before winter break I was very in control of my diet and workouts and got very close to my UGW. Thinking of myself in a bikini gave me anxiety and that specific goal helped me stay on track. After vacation, i gained a few lb and haven't been watching myself as much, because I didn't have the extreme motivation. I also have been working long hours and not as much time to work out :(

Well, my boyfriend and I have just recently picked out my engagement ring! I am ridiculously excited, and the thought of proposal/engagement pictures has given me all the motivation I need to start losing again. I am very self conscious of my arms and thinking of them in pictures kind of freaks me out, so Ive been back on the diet train and I couldn't be happier about it :) I'd love to hear other people's personal motivations and stories !! <3 You all motivate me.

I also took my first ever EC stack today. I took 25 mg Bronkaid (the walgreens store brand equivalent) and about 200mg of caffeine. Loving it so far :) xoxoxoxo!

---

[Intro] Hello! Here's a Promise to Myself (And to You Guys!)
/u/CrybabyGeese
Created: Mon Apr 25 08:01:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gdfhd/hello_heres_a_promise_to_myself_and_to_you_guys/
---
I'm so foggy from insomnia so I'll try and make my rant concise but purposeful. Not too long ago I had pretty severe anorexia that landed me in hospital a few times over the course of about four years. Since then I 'recovered', keeping stable for a few years but recently I've gone in the opposite direction and I'm just absolutely appalled with how I look. I don't recognise myself anymore and I'm ashamed. But instead of wasting time feeling sorry for myself I'm going to redirect that energy into reclaiming control over my body and my life. Fuck 'recovery'. I know it's not going to magically make me a happy, fulfilled person but it's better to be unhappy and skinny than unhappy and fat (which I am now). There's three months until I start university and by that time ~~I want to be~~ will be at a *SW* and from there I will work to my *UGW*. So here's my promise, in three months I'll post progress photos. If that's not motivation I don't know what is!

---

[Tip] For all my ED stoners
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Apr 25 07:49:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gddw4/for_all_my_ed_stoners/
---
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18nv2ar7iiewfjpg/ku-xlarge.jpg

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[Help] SO got rid of scale
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 07:32:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gdbi4/so_got_rid_of_scale/
---
I'm starting to freak out not knowing my weight. I'm afraid I'm putting it all back on and then gaining more. I'm starting to count my meals and limit my servings even more now. I'm getting stressed without a scale but I don't want to disappoint my SO by buying another and hiding it. I need some kind of distraction, but I don't think anything can get the scale off my mind. I've always just kept one hidden out of sight of those trying to keep me recovered and it made me feel safe just knowing it was there, in case I wanted to use it. This is the first time I would feel truly bad for buying and hiding a scale behind someone's back.

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[Help] Found the perfect apartment and was then told I am too skinny and a possible trigger for roommate's ED
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 06:48:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gd5hn/found_the_perfect_apartment_and_was_then_told_i/
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Feeling super weird about this right now. I found the perfect apartment the other weekend and really had my fingers crossed that it would work out. I love the neighborhood, the house, what would have been my room, and the girls who live there seem great. A few days after I saw the place I got an email saying they had chosen someone else. I was bummed, but whatever, it happens. Then last night I got an email explaining that they hadn't actually found someone else, that they really liked me, thought I would be a good fit, but one of the girls is recovering from an ED and my body/weight would be a possible trigger. She obviously felt really guilty telling me this and was super apologetic. But she didn't want me to see the ad relisted and not understand why.

Now I'm just trying to figure out how I feel about it. On one hand I completely get it, and it would probably have been unhealthy for the two of us to live together. I would hate to be the cause of someone else's distress or relapse. But it also makes me feel incredibly frustrated and uncomfortable. I have such a bad relationship with my body right now that I just don't want anyone to notice it, comment on it, I just want it to go away. The smallest comments can really get under my skin (like I should take cookies home from work because I could stand to eat them, or I don't need to be counting calories, ect). So being so directly confronted with my body is really unsettling. I don't feel thin at all. I don't want people to see me as thin, I don't want them to notice my body at all. It's just been hard to hear so directly that my body is the reason I can't have this. It also makes me question my own self perception. Am I really that thin? Should I be worried that I'm thin enough that my body could be triggering? Why can't I see it?

I'm not sure I've explained myself very well, I'm not even sure I completely understand why I feel the way I do. But I don't have anyone I can talk about this openly with and I just wanted to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading.

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[Help] Two week plateau - Need help!
/u/felinecetology [5'9 | 135.2 | 19.6 | 16lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 06:47:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gd5b6/two_week_plateau_need_help/
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Hi everyone, longtime listener, first time caller. I'm 5' 9", female, early 20s.

I've been losing weight steadily since my all-time high in November of 151, about a pound a week with stalls and jumps in that time (mostly just reducing intake, some light exercise, occasional fasting).

Two weeks ago I got down to 131 (my GW for the moment is 125 before June), but I also had a cold that caused me to cough a lot. I didn't restrict very much, fast or exercise during the cold, but I guess I lost weight due to the constant, day and night coughing.

Well, my weight has gone up since then. For the past two weeks, it's pretty much plateaued at 135.2 in the mornings and 134.0 at night. For a while I was having no problem maintaining a deficit, because I wasn't working out a ton, so it's wasn't too complicated to calculate calories to eat at a deficit.

Now I'm running much more. The past two weeks have been ~25 miles/wk, and I'm ultimately working up to ~40 mi/wk before I begin marathon training in July at which point I'll have to reevaluate anything. I can't fast like I could before amping up my running because I'll be too low energy to make gains. FWIW, I don't eat most meat, but I do eat fish, and I try to avoid dairy. I take in fewer carbs than most runners, but I have an incorrigible sweet tooth.

Any suggestions as to how I can break this plateau? I would be so, so grateful! And thank you for reading this tome :)

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[Intro] Introduction
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 101 lb | 20.77 | -20 lb | FTM]
Created: Mon Apr 25 06:33:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gd3hn/introduction/
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Hello! I've been lurking for a few days, and I apologize in advance if I have done anything wrong - I'm still not entirely sure of Reddit etiquette. I dunno how much I'll be contributing, but hopefully I'll be able to add something helpful now and then lmao.

For my story: I don't know if I qualify as having an ED exactly, but I did use to hover around 130 ish pounds (Around the middle to upper ranges of a ""healthy"" weight for someone of my age and height, apparently) until I started really trying to restrict my calories and work out more and dropped to about 110. My main issue is trying to keep it up despite heavy schoolwork meaning no time or energy to really work out and trying to keep limiting what I eat, as I'm a minor and pretty much everything I eat and how much of it is controlled by my parents. Also, trying not to binge like mad.

I'm 5'0" (or 152 cm), 15 years old, probably at 110 lbs? (I don't have regular access to a scale, unfortunately) and a trans guy. Yeah, I know, sometimes people think it's a phase if it's someone that young, but I've identified as it for years now. It's also kind of a part of why I want to lose weight, since less of it = less curves = passing more as a guy. My ultimate goal is to eventually reach 80 lbs, but as of now I'm just trying to drop to double digits.

Hopefully I hit everything that I had to here!

*Edit: Formatting and weight info, sorry!

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[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! April 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 25 06:03:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gczo5/weekly_stats_update_april_25_2016/
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This is the weekly status thread for April 25, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Help] hair falling out
/u/peruvian-bitch [157cm | 48.8kg | -24.2kg]
Created: Mon Apr 25 06:00:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gczbf/hair_falling_out/
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My hair has recently started coming out a lot, so i was wondering what i could do to help with that? I'm pretty sure it's bc of my ed. Are there vitamins or oils I can take/use to help my hair? And it's unlikely, but if I starting eating ~1000 cal, would that help? I'm eating around <400 a day

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[Help] Feel like I am at the verge of developing an ED (long post sorry)
/u/Baliren
Created: Mon Apr 25 03:30:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gck19/feel_like_i_am_at_the_verge_of_developing_an_ed/
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I just don't know where I am anymore. I NEED to get skinner, to get to 43 kilos (~95lbs). I was so happy at that weight two years ago. I was skinnier that all my friends, but not un healthy looking, just beautiful. People were jealous I was naturally skinny. I was so happy, I didnt focus on weight at all. I could eat anything, but balance myself. I never thought about calories. I could eat a jar of nutella and not eat in the evening, without even thinking about it. I worked well in school, I was smart and had awesome grades. I was so happy that year. My only problem was that I didnt have a bf, at the time it seemed so imprtant lol


And idk what happened. One of my friends told me she developed anorexia earlier that year, and i started thinking about all these fucked up things, about thigh gaps and calories, and fasting and stuff like that... And then I started thinking about maintaining my weight, and started counting calories, and my brain went crazy and I ate and I ate and I slowly went up to 50 kg (110 lbs), not so much I know, but since then I am obsessed by food and eating, I tried every diet but I have no discipline, my brain is fucked for life, always thinking about calories and food all the time, and now as soon as I eat something I seem to gain weight because my brain is always looking for FOOD. I have shit grades, I wont get into the college I want, I feel so empty. I lost good friends, and fell in love with my best friend so I ruined our friendship. Ihave no discpline, for work or for food. I cant control anything. i keep getting close to my goal, then gain weight. I mostly lose weight by eating very little but in the end I always put everything back on because I still think too much about food, I keep eating and fasting and eating and fasting, trying diets when I know the only way to lose weight and to get back to control my life would be to stop caring so fucking much about food, like I used to. I dont know how to do that. like I am alone today, so i dont need to eat with my parents or something. But I want to eat so much. I know if I dont eat I am going to binge later, and if I eat maybe Ill binge right now. Like I can make myself some super healthy low calorie dish, ill still eat all of the chocolate. And if I eat normally, like I would have two years ago, i am never going to lose weight. I dont what to do, I dont know how to stop caring before I get a full blown ED. please help please

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[Intro] Im new.
/u/DrowsyDoll [5'11 | Big | Fat | Whale | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 03:08:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gci0j/im_new/
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[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] Im scared iv binged so much without purging that i wont get back to where i was...
/u/DrowsyDoll [5'11 | Big | Fat | Whale | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 02:56:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gch1n/im_scared_iv_binged_so_much_without_purging_that/
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i just went to the store today and bought only my go to purge foods... i have water measured out and easily available and i forgot how much better i feel when im in control. just one purge session after eating two packets of ramen noodles and i feel like i can breathe... finally... im back on track. i can do this.

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[Help] Bronkaid wearing off, binging at night
/u/ProEDAlt [5'6 | 137lbs | 22.1 | 8 lbs | Grill]
Created: Mon Apr 25 00:22:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gc2zt/bronkaid_wearing_off_binging_at_night/
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I've binged twice this week. Ephedrine + caffeine has been helping a lot...but I can't take it at night cuz then I won't sleep. So around 8PM-midnight I'm RAVENOUS with massive cravings and eat everything in site.
What do I do????

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling out of control???
/u/fantomlvr [5' 6" | 185.6 | 30.08 | -24.8 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 25 00:21:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gc2xp/feeling_out_of_control/
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I just went to the grocery store to get food for the week and had a scary moment.

Normally, when I'm in a restrictive phase, I feel in control (as opposed to my binging, where I feel completely at the mercy of food). When I was at the store, I was only getting safe foods, then a can of pasta sauce caught my eye. I picked it up and my vision started to blur and the shelves were too tall and I felt really constricted. Picking up that pasta sauce threw me into a full blown anxiety attack. I have never felt like that when I'm restricting.

After that, I put all my safe foods back on the shelves. It took me almost 3 hours to do my shopping because after putting everything back, I calmed down and then went back and got everything I'd originally gone for. (To recap, I got my groceries, panicked and put them all back, then collected them again).

A little nervous about what this means for future trips to the store, hopefully this was a one-time thing.

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[Intro] Male lurker here, thought I'd stop bye 'n say hi! c:
/u/fluffhair
Created: Sun Apr 24 22:58:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gbui7/male_lurker_here_thought_id_stop_bye_n_say_hi_c/
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Food addictions suck, man.
Hiya ^w^ I've been a lurker here for over a week now, thought I'd make a small introduction post. I don't know how frequently I'll post but I'll try to chill and chat with you all.
This is one of the few weight loss subreddits that I think really has a similar mindset as me in a lot of ways. I identify with like every post here.
Quick history of my weight: I used to be 282 pounds, then lost down to 220 in like three months. Have no idea how I managed that but omfg do I wish I remembered.
I now am around 235-ish and have hovered around here for a year. Only gained back cause of a horrible year last year and I binged a lot. Luckily I'm alright at "maintaining" and haven't let myself go any further up, but when it comes to losing I am just trash at it.

I am stuck in that terrible cycle of binge, restrict, binge, restrict, binge, restrict, try new eating styles, give up after a day.
It's so hard to get out of. When I do get onto a good kick I only last four days before the temptation sets in. Sometimes I wish I lived alone, my family can be very enabling, constantly bringing sweets and pizza and stuff home.
I don't blame them, I know at the end of the day what goes into my mouth is my choice, but damn it sucks. They all want to lose weight but keep doing that :c I wish we could just buy some healthy shit and leave it at that, no sweets or pizza or burgers.

I'm a 6'0", 18 year old male and I'd honestly think I'd love to be 148 lbs. I've been restricting calories lately but definitely not enough, gonna try harder tomorrow. I also am seeing friends this summer in about a month and a half and I'd love to lose a few pounds before then so wish me luck on that haha.

So yeah, don't wanna stick around and vent to y'all to long in this introduction x3.
I hope I can contribute a little something meaningful to the conversation around here at least a bit c:

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[Help] Low heart rate
/u/Jitterly [163.5 cm | 48kg | 17.96 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 22:26:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gbqrc/low_heart_rate/
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My heart rate has been in the low fifties lately. Aside from walking everywhere I go I'm very out of shape, and I'm not terribly small either (164 cm and 48.5 kg). I don't know if this is normal or if I should be concerned? I don't pass out, but i am very frequently dizzy.
Have any of you experienced something similalar?

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[Rant/Rave] I'm scared
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 24 20:52:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gbey8/im_scared/
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[deleted]

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[Other] Haven't purged in 9 days
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 20:35:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gbcqo/havent_purged_in_9_days/
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I did my IVF frozen embryo transfer on Tuesday, and I haven't purged since lunch the Friday before that. It's hard, but only a couple meals have been *really* rough.

I've also tried to add in more calories (a bag of popcorn and frozen chocolate banana each night), but that doesn't make up for how many calories I'm not getting from not drinking. I stopped drinking the Saturday before my transfer, and I'm used to getting 5000+ calories from alcohol a week to maintain. Since I'm not purging lunch, I'll take that down to maybe only needing 3500 calories more a week in calories to maintain.

BUT, if I'm pregnant (I find out if it worked on Friday), I'm also supposed to add in 300 extra calories a day. I don't know how I'm going to make up all the alcohol calories AND add more in. I know I have to do it for the baby, and I will, but I'm scared.

I have a dietitian appointment tomorrow, so hopefully that will help. She's only been out of college for 6 years, but I don't want to pre-judge before talking to her.

I also have had to go from 6-8 cups of coffee plus 3-4 diet sodas a day to only ONE 12-oz cup of caffeinated coffee. I still drink the same amount in decaf coffee and soda, but ugh, it's HARD!

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[Discussion] Is it just me or are more people coming out as anorexic within these past few years?
/u/Astroyeti [5'4.75" | 99.2 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 18:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gaya5/is_it_just_me_or_are_more_people_coming_out_as/
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I would have said eating disorders, but it doesn't seem to be eating disorders as a whole, just anorexia. I'm not sure if it's an actual trend or if it's internal bias at this point. [Hopefully this is the right place?](http://i.imgur.com/LbDUJDk.jpg)

EDIT: I don't necessarily mean it as a yes or no question, though I do wonder why it seems that way suddenly. I don't know..

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[Goal] Finally back to being underweight! (Plus a question)
/u/elbowrodeo [5'10" | 132 | 18.47 | -7 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 18:20:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gau93/finally_back_to_being_underweight_plus_a_question/
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Just like the title says, I'm finally back to being at an underweight BMI! I've been around or under 132 for the past couple days, so I've finally decided to let myself believe that it's true. It's been about two months since I've fallen back into restricting, and I've lost about 7-8 lbs since then. I know it's slow progress because I've hit a lot of roadblocks and I stick to higher cal restricting, but I'm hoping that now I'll be more motivated.

I'm so thankful for all you guys, you've kept me sane when I've felt the shittiest about myself. I do have a question though, what is the difference between the "new" BMI calculator and the one that seems to be more commonly used? Because I'm only underweight according to the new BMI, which is a bummer. But oh well, I'll get there with both soon I hope. Next goal is 125!

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[Discussion] What's your favorite low-cal options for chinese food?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 17:15:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4gakst/whats_your_favorite_lowcal_options_for_chinese/
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I have a dinner date tomorrow over chinese food (why does my entire social life revolve around food? ._.) and there isnt a real nutrition menu at the place. So what do you guys usually get? i've heard miso soup is very low cal, but i also want some ideas for something not too suspicious just in case. Thanks <3

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[Help] I want to be thinner, but I also want to be less fucked up. What does that even mean?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 15:29:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ga4cx/i_want_to_be_thinner_but_i_also_want_to_be_less/
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I don't know, you guys. I'm fucking sick of being sick, and being such a headcase all the time, sobbing with fear at the mere thought of going out to dinner and working out till I'm a zombie and never seeing anyone and hating myself all the time. I just want to be *normal*, or at least feel a little more normal, or at least more in control?

But I also still want to be thinner, like 10 more pounds. I guess I want to lose weight like a normal person and try to shed the ED part? How do people even lose weight without massive amounts of obsessive, diseased self-loathing to muster up the willpower? How can I even begin to separate out this thing that has been part of my life for 20 years? I don't even know what I'm asking, I guess, and maybe this is the wrong place - but it's like I want to totally separate the physical and behavioral/mental health pieces of this. Or at least get back to a place where I'm losing weight but not SO lost in ED-land. Happier.

Anyone know what I'm talking about/have ideas on how to begin wrapping my head around this?

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[Rant/Rave] A "My boyfriend doesn't get it" rant ....
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 15:28:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ga46y/a_my_boyfriend_doesnt_get_it_rant/
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So like I almost got to my goal weight of 95 (I was at 98) and then my boyfriend got super worried about me so I decided that it was okay to gain a bit of weight back so that he doesn't have to be stressed out over me. Kinda like a fake recovery lol. So like my parents just went to Hawaii for ten days and stocked up the house with like $200 worth of food for me and I know if I don't eat it, I'm gonna get in trouble for wasting and stuff so my boyfriend has been over every day and like making sure I'm eating and stuff which I was okay with at first but today and yesterday I binged so much and like I'm trying to explain to him how I feel like I've gained ten pounds since last week and I can't check because my mom locked my scale in her room so I'm just super anxious and can't stop thinking about all I've eaten....but he just doesn't understand like how I feel like I could've gained ten pounds in a week but I swear I keep looking at the mirror and I know I look fatter and I feel so heavy inside too, like constantly bloated. All he says is like "even you did get up to 110 pounds that's not bad" and stuff and like he has no idea how much that doesn't help, you know? Like yeah it may be the healthy weight for me but I don't want to be the healthy weight for me, that's the whole point. The highest I would want to go at all would be 105, anything past that is definitely not okay with me. I don't know how to talk to him about how I'm feeling without annoying him or worrying him. I also don't know how to deal with not being able to check my weight or how to deal with having to eat all this stuff at my house (literally all my favorite foods are stocked up which my parents did on purpose because they know I'll have binge episodes)....uggghhh. Sorry for the rant, I just really don't know how to handle this anymore.

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[Goal] I'm a accidentally a vegetarian sometimes
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 15:07:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ga0vi/im_a_accidentally_a_vegetarian_sometimes/
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I mean I live off mostly non meat things (I hate to be a carboholic alcoholic), but I occasionally indulge in meat if im out (once a week if that) or if I'm at a family thing. It's wierd because I know people have important reasons and stuff, but I'm considering becoming a vegetarian because it sets even closer parameters around what safe foods I have. however I know I'm an addict to carbs. I hate this about myself. I can kick bacon and pork and chicken (usually the meat I eat is red or from the ocean), but god forbid I put down the one breadstick I'm allowed :/ i would love to find a way to make myself hate bread. I already have safe bread foods and ones I know will = binge. Like I get subway salads instead of subs. I know the bread is the best part, just like the crust of a damned pizza ): Also I live without dairy, except rumchata and the occasional salad from subway. I don't buy the salads, my boss, dad, does haha. When I first experienced my fall into disordered eating, I would not even touch a salad with cheese. I've gotten lenient with cheese and that has to stop. Thanks for letting me ramble, as I always do. Yalls the bomb!

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[Rant/Rave] I hate grocery shopping.
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Sun Apr 24 14:36:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g9vyd/i_hate_grocery_shopping/
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Went to the store today. Took me over 90 minutes to buy 6 things. Ugh!

Silver lining (my favorite kind!) I got a mile of walking in at the store, lol. I takes what I can gets!

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[Rant/Rave] Purging has ruined my life
/u/scullayylmao
Created: Sun Apr 24 14:22:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g9tui/purging_has_ruined_my_life/
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I know this is "proEd" but I just need to vent

I was diagnosed with anorexia but was not one of those emaciated looking anorexics. I was just thin I guess.

I used to be so disgusted and afraid of throw up. I wondered how any sane person could willingly make themselves throw up.

But then I got blackout drunk. I ended up puking everywhere. When I was sober, I realized "hey, throwing up isn't as awful as I thought. Maybe I can lose weight like this!" And so began the purging.

I don't even binge often. I have a strict diet I follow. A pack of oats, a tablespoon of Pb, some fruit and jam as a breakfast and dinner. I usually have fruit salad for lunch. ANYTHING other than those meals I make myself throw up. I have BDD so it doesn't help much.

I just wished I'd never discovered purging so I could still be skinny.

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[Rant/Rave] Hello friends.
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 13:09:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g9i9q/hello_friends/
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It has been a long time, but I'm officially coming back because holy fuck I done fucked up.

I talked in my last two posts about new job / adjustments with boyfriend etc. Things are bonkers.

Got stuck in a crazy binge / purge cycle. Job offered plenty of catered food and my boss felt the need to buy us breakfast and bring in baked goods frequently. I finally asked her to stop bringing things for me.

*I've gained close to 15 lbs in three months.*

I was weighing in at 109 pretty consistently, and I'm up to 122lbs again. I avoided weighing myself for a long time because I knew I'd fucked up, and finally took the plunge. I told myself I would never let myself go back up to 120 and here I am. So I spent a day crying and being horrendously unproductive, and yesterday I fasted 90% of the day, but was seeing someone for dinner so I had half a portion. This morning I had eggs and spinach for breakfast, back to fasting. Fasting all week. I will break this binge cycle and I will not let it break me - I can't go down this road again. I can't.

Update on the boyfriend, we see each other occasionally as friends, I'm still apartment hunting (it's been two months) and I've been crashing at various friends places and my mom's house. It sucks, but it's overall better. I started actually seeing a new guy and he makes me feel incredible -- part of the reason I've been binging is because he loves to have me over and have us cook dinner together so I can show him some vegetarian recipes I have. He also used to be overweight and goes to the gym a lot now and looks so, so good - it's pretty inspiring haha. But he also eats quite a bit because a.) super tall man b.) goes to gym and actually works shit off.

I've been exercising more and trying to get my shit together. I'm coming back to this community - I never meant to leave! - but it's going to be hard. I had a private desk at my old job, and now I'm in a shared office. And I don't have a home of my own to go back to so I don't really have a lot of private time to just peruse posts and comment and stuff. But I need you guys, I miss you guys, I love you guys. I hope you've all been well.

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[Other] I love ypu allm That is all
/u/IWant2BASkeleton [5'7" | 155.4lbs | 24.3 | -5.6lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 12:51:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g9f85/i_love_ypu_allm_that_is_all/
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All my calories are coming from alohol today......... I just have to say this is the only ola r I feel accepted and I'm so happy to have y'all un my life. Tha k you for being interested in my life and thank you for caring about me


I love you all!!!!!!!!!

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[Rant/Rave] "You look thin today"
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Sun Apr 24 12:50:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g9f09/you_look_thin_today/
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Not "you **are** thin ~~today~~"

That moment when complements aren't good enough...

:(

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[Help] Please help me get back on track
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Apr 24 11:55:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g95t7/please_help_me_get_back_on_track/
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[removed]

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[Help] Any advice for cutting carbs while vegan?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 24 11:51:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g95br/any_advice_for_cutting_carbs_while_vegan/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] why is everyone i know thinspo
/u/crapbeg
Created: Sun Apr 24 10:50:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g8w3s/why_is_everyone_i_know_thinspo/
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it's so depressing. i am fatter than a vast majority of the people i know, and it kills me. It's not like it's me being dysmorphic - so many girls I know are genuinely so tiny. anyone else deal with this?

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[Goal] I weight less than I thought I did!!!!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 10:50:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g8w11/i_weight_less_than_i_thought_i_did/
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So as some of you may know based on my previous posts and comments, my mom and her boyfriend visited me 2 weekends ago (April 7-10) then the following weekend (April 15-17) I went out of town with them. I definitely gained weight between April 7 and 10 so I fasted and restricted until my trip with them on the 15th. I weighed myself the day I departed for my trip and I was around 120 or 121, meaning 1-2 pounds heavier than I was before they visited. I didn't weigh myself after my trip because I knew I'd cry at the number (I figured it would be around 125 with water weight and possible real weight gain) and have just been fasting and restricting since Monday.

I wasn't going to weigh myself until Friday since I'm on my period, but this morning I bit the bullet and stepped on the scale. I thought I'd be 120 at the *least* but the scale read 117.4! Holy crap! I'm so happy! And this is considering I'm still slightly on my period! That means I'm ~6 pounds away from my lowest adult weight. Now I really wish I had weighed myself after my trip to see the progress and how much I actually lost in 6 days. Oh well. I'm just so happy! I still have a *loooooong* way to go until I reach my lowest weight ever (which was between 87 and 92 when I was 14 years old) but this is so motivating.

Knowing this, I'm going to set myself a very conservative goal of reaching 115 by Monday May 2nd, however I reckon I'll be in the 114's. This also means, if my calculations are correct, I'll be under 100 pounds by the time of this wedding I've been invited to. Wow.

On the downside, I hate how much my mom's visit and going out of town stalled my weight loss. I was 119 on April 6 and I'm 117.4 on April 24. I could be like 110 by now had that visit and trip not happened.

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[Rant/Rave] I just learned something today.
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 10:13:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g8qpj/i_just_learned_something_today/
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I was talking to my friend over the phone, and there's this one *very mean* girl who's always hated/made fun of me. At the place where this happened, everyone's health stuff is on file. So, my weight was in there (I was around 155 at the time). I found out that she took my fucking file and read it aloud to everyone and made fun of my weight. When my friend told me over the phone, I acted like I was laughing, but then I cried for a straight 20 minutes after I hung up.

I'm going to be so fucking skinny and fucking gorgeous that I'm going to make that bitch *sorry*.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Apr 24 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g8p1n/daily_food_diary_april_24_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for April 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] I hate this but I love it
/u/acronym_acronym [5' 11" | 130.4 lbs | 18.1 | -10 lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Apr 24 09:48:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g8n3v/i_hate_this_but_i_love_it/
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I want to eat. I actually really like to eat, and I've never been fat or anything. Every time I eat, I just get this guilt that I can only make go away by fasting for days. I know I shouldn't care or think about calories but I just can't stop thinking about them. If I eat, I feel fat and stop eating for at the least 3 days. If I don't eat, I have to mentally fight myself. I don't know what to do, I'm getting tired of fighting half of myself every single day. I want to stop, and I hate being the way I am, but I also feel like if I stop I'm weak and need to get a fucking grip. Has anyone found a way to just not be stressed every single day? Hope everyone's doing alright.

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[Discussion] Let's talk about gum
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 09:36:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g8ldf/lets_talk_about_gum/
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Ah yes, the craving-busting mouth-exercising wonder that is sugar free gum. What's your favorite brand and flavor? Where do you buy it, and for how much? Know any cheap places to get gum online? Share them here! Want to try that weird flavor but not enough to buy a pack? Have you tried that weird flavor and want to let everyone know how awesome/disgusting/wonderful/awful it was? This is the thread for you! Share all your gum related musings, and let's get this party started!

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[Discussion] Certain foods that trigger your binge/purge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 24 09:21:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g8jc7/certain_foods_that_trigger_your_bingepurge/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Well guys, I'm off food for a while.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 120.4 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 08:06:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g89fm/well_guys_im_off_food_for_a_while/
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I decided to do a 24 hour fast yesterday, but went out last night (stand up!) and only had water. I didn't really think about it but on my way home I stopped for fast food. They asked me to pull forward because my food wasn't ready and as I was waiting there, I said, what the fuck are you doing? Nearly pulled away. But didn't and ate everything. This morning I woke up and felt like death. Dat acid reflux.

Yeah so, TLDR; I'm off food for a while. Multiday water fast, here I come again.

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[Goal] I'm in my 120s again! Haven't been this thin since 2009.
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 129.0 | 20.13 | -41 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 07:44:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g86q4/im_in_my_120s_again_havent_been_this_thin_since/
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http://i.imgur.com/RERtxaA.jpg

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[Help] How do I get rid of this bloated feeling?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 24 04:41:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g7ppq/how_do_i_get_rid_of_this_bloated_feeling/
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[deleted]

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[Other] So I've been keeping a food journal
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Sun Apr 24 04:18:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g7nz8/so_ive_been_keeping_a_food_journal/
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And I just made a real life connection to my eating habits! I'm so proud of myself! Granted, I have no idea how knowing this information helps me in any way, but I figured it out all on my own!

So I was writing about how I was moving around my food on MFP because I like to save most of my calories for the end of the day, but I was hungry now and I was whining about how if I use them now, I won't have them for later if I want them.

Then I realized, I've been doing that with pretty much everything I've ever owned my entire life. I've always tried to 'save' stuff for the perfect time to use it. I buy new clothes, but no situation seems 'good enough' to wear them too. Then they don't fit any more and they never get worn. If I get some cool temp tattoos, I can never pick the perfect time to use them, so they sit in a draw and wither. When I was a kid and the teacher gave me a sticker, all the other kids put it right on their books or paper or shirt. I put mine inside my folder until it got scratched up or ruined and needed to be thrown away. Never using it because nothing was worthy of it.

Holy shit. I just realized how many things over the course of my life I've ended up wasting because I didn't want to use them for fear of 'wasting' them on something that wasn't perfect.

I think my indecisiveness probably has a lot to do with this. I'm always afraid of giving up what I know I have for something that *might* be a thing. This is why I don't gamble. Lol.

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[Thinspo] Motivation - "competitive eating" reverse thinspo
/u/bitten-and-bleeding [5"7 | CW 133 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Apr 24 02:39:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g7g88/motivation_competitive_eating_reverse_thinspo/
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Look up competitive eating on Youtube and you will find many, many videos of people eating massive, I mean MASSIVE amounts of food.

It might not be the same for you, but for me? Honestly it doesn't make me crave anything, no matter how delicious the food is, it just makes me feel grateful that I have an empty stomach while they are shoving tens of thousands of calories down their throats.

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[Intro] Introduction/Rant/Fasting
/u/AbandonEarth [5'9" | 116.4 :'( | 17.2 | -6 | M]
Created: Sun Apr 24 00:08:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g73lx/introductionrantfasting/
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Hello everyone!

A little about myself: I'm 18, no official diagnosis, a student, and like many here, introverted and have lurked for a while. I felt apprehensive positing because a.) the fear someone irl might discover my posts, and b.) a lot of times I feel as if I don't have a legitimate ED. For the former, it's a pretty stupid reason, but the fact males seem to be much less afflicted with EDs makes me doubt whether I actually have one. Sometimes I even binge as to "prove" I can eat normally (ironically the moments I feel least in control), and end up feeling horrible. As for when all this started, I can't really say, but when I was 14 I was hospitalized for a GI bleed and placed on an NPO diet; throughout my life I never was happy with how my body looked, but I remember after being released from the hospital I was oddly happy with how much weight I lost. Even so, my relationship with food afterwards remained normal. So in short, I can't exactly pinpoint the moment that caused me to actively track my weight, count calories, restrict, etc.

On a much sadder note (rant incoming). I feel stuck in this perpetual cycle of restricting throughout the week and ruining my progress by binging Friday night and throughout the weekend, I don't have a gw, fat, and have this constant anxious, sad hopeless feeling. I have these occasional nightmarish dreams of being obese (that actually sounds somewhat funny now that I type it out). I worry if I continue down this track then I'll eventually be found out and cause unnecessary grief for my everyone I know, but I don't want to stop either. Worst of all, about 3 times I was upset started binging, stopped, freaked out and purged. I've avoided purging so far since I heard only ~50% of the calories are lost and because of stories of losing teeth and esophageal damage, but it seems I can't even have my ED right. :'(

Anyways, hopefully you found something interesting in this rambling, meandering, wall-of-text introduction or learned something about me. I'll be doing a 24 hour (hopefully longer) liquid fast today so I hope I won't screw it up by chewing gum or eating a safe food. The best of luck to anyone else fasting rn! Everyone in this community is so nice and loving (easily one of the most supportive and welcoming subreddits).

I look forward to a future where we're all skinny!

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KIK?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 23 22:57:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g6x3l/kik/
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[removed]

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[Discussion] Anyone else hookah while fasting?
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 113 lbs | 19.78 | -42 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 21:15:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g6mdj/anyone_else_hookah_while_fasting/
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This is awesome. I get the lightheadedness that I love from fasting, but I can control it, so I'm not afraid I'll fall over in front of people. Also gives me something to do other than eating and let's me taste something other than water.

Trying to hit 48 hours tonight :)

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[Rant/Rave] The reason I drink so much and from home?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 20:34:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g6hqg/the_reason_i_drink_so_much_and_from_home/
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A. Expensive b. No friends. C. I'm at fucking bar with my amazing bf and I'm publix enemy #1. so I suck. And I hate myself and I'm socially shitty and I hate myself. I love you guys. Sorry. Secret bar rant. Idk if i can spell anymore. B stay gorgeous babies!

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[Rant/Rave] Strangers have commented on my weight for the first time... two days in a row
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 102.9 lb | 19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 20:11:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g6eyj/strangers_have_commented_on_my_weight_for_the/
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I'm not even at my LW anymore (working on it ofc). The other night I was eating at a Chinese restaurant and I ate The Whole Thing because I was purging it afterwards and the waitress came up to me, wide-eyed, and said "You eat so much! How did you do that? You're so small, but you eat like a big man???" and I just had to giggle along? And then last night I was with my roommate at Gamestop and I was complaining about it being cold, and this middle-aged man scoffed and said to my roommate "it's because she doesn't have any meat on her bones, that's why she's cold!" and I'm just honestly so confused because I'm a whole 3 fucking pounds up from my LW, not to mention I'm at a normal BMI and I still got those comments? It's like, the bar is so low nowadays and that's exciting but I'm worried about for when I get even skinnier what people will say.

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[Help] Getting back on track
/u/skinnyminilove [5'0" | 108 | 21.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 20:00:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g6doy/getting_back_on_track/
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Hi everyone. I was doing fantastic for a few months up until I quit taking my xanax prescription 2 weeks ago. I got off track and started eating again. It was a downward spiral because I've been eating 2 meals and snacking. I usually have less than 500 calories a day. Can anyone recommend am appetite suppressant? I need it to get me back to my usual habits. I don't have money right now, so anything I can find at home or do that's free would be amazing. Thank you!!!

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[Help] Help me be strong, guys
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 23 19:44:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g6bq2/help_me_be_strong_guys/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] Huge reverse thinspo album (very nsfw)
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Sat Apr 23 19:37:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g6axp/huge_reverse_thinspo_album_very_nsfw/
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http://imgur.com/a/dsT0J#0

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[Help] My husband keeps me from doing what I want
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 23 19:19:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g68pv/my_husband_keeps_me_from_doing_what_i_want/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Of course I binged
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 18:21:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g6172/of_course_i_binged/
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Of course I fucking binged. I was doing so well despite an unstructured Saturday, my only hiccup was maxing out my cals too early in the day. No problem I said, I'll just finish my fizzy water and then brush my teeth.

Then I got into a stupid argument with my husband. As a gesture of good will, I offered to make him a sandwich. Despite smoothing things over with the sandwich, I was still pretty buttmad so I binged on an extra 1500 cal while making the sandwich.

FUUUUCK ME. That brings my total for the day to 2900 cal. Now my stomach hurts and the food I binged on wasn't even worth it.

Ugh, figures, this morning I clocked in at 112.5 lbs as well. I'm seriously starting to wonder if I'm subconsciously sabotaging myself.

Tomorrow has to go better. So far the plan it's to spend as much time outside with babyman, AWAY from food.

God damnit, I'm so disappointed with myself. I need to control my emotions better, bingeing while angry doesn't hurt anyone but me. Passive aggressively stuffing my face with food because my husband hurt my ego has to be the dumbest shit ever. Wtf is wrong with me?

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[Help] not losing, just maintaining + gaining?
/u/pennon [5'2.5 | 110 | 19.8 | hellspawn]
Created: Sat Apr 23 18:14:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g607s/not_losing_just_maintaining_gaining/
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yeah basic ass question but i have litterally been stuck between 113-110 for three MONTHS. and i know for sure that ive been eating 100-600 every day! its just really fucking annoying and makes me feel like im useless and cant do anything

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[Rant/Rave] I just binged.
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 17:41:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g5vto/i_just_binged/
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I've really been binging for two weeks, but today, for "dinner," I had four pieces of toast with vegan butter and 4-5 cups of tater tots and a cup and a half of applesauce.

This is it, guys. I'm drawing the line. This isn't happening again. I'm going back to zero carbs, <200 calories a day; any more than that and I MUST work out, and even then it can't go over 400.

That's it. I am disgustingly fat and I know it and I keep eating and that doesn't fix the fucking problem!

But this will, and being more involved in this community will. So send me good vibes and thoughts the next few days because its a busy week that now includes getting my weight loss back on track.

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[Thinspo] This could actually be the most motivating thing I've ever read - I have it saved on my phone, and I look at it every time I feel like bingeing.
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 17:39:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g5vih/this_could_actually_be_the_most_motivating_thing/
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http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jqpB-dShi7c/UN_knrOpmfI/AAAAAAAAAC4/eE9SMIHH4Do/s1600/tumblr_lpl6op58Xv1r0m8r4o1_500.jpg

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[Goal] The Scale Moved!
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Sat Apr 23 16:54:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g5pae/the_scale_moved/
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After a week of stressing, almost 2 fast days, and trying to be really careful about what I eat, I am down about 3.4lbs from last week (and on my period now, no less)! I still have a long way to go, but even this little bit of success makes me feel like my goal may not just be a sad and unobtainable dream.

Thanks everyone for all the support!

Edit: weighed myself again this morning and am up to a 4.2lb loss! Currently trying to decide whether to turn today into a fast day or not.

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[Discussion] Am I the only only who feels like a thigh gap is last on the list?
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 16:40:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g5ngh/am_i_the_only_only_who_feels_like_a_thigh_gap_is/
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I mean, I think they are lovely and I certainly wouldn't complain if I had one (gimme one!), but I love love love collarbones more. And super frail arms. And the tiniest waist imaginable.

Everyone loves a thigh gap (and I do too) but I feel likes it's lower on my list of concerns. I'd much rather have other stuff first (not that I get to pick. Grrrr). But am I alone? DAE love other stuff before a thigh gap?

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[Help] intermittent fasting
/u/my_body_my_rules [5'5 | 139 | 52.31 | 90ish lbs| female]
Created: Sat Apr 23 16:40:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g5ndk/intermittent_fasting/
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Antone have tips or advice on intermittent fasting? i am still new to restricting what i eat, and when i eat.. i lost most of my weight by walking everywhere and hiking. now to get down to my goal i have to cut back on daily calories. So far i have been good at avoiding binges, usually. for the last week i have been not eating for 12-20 hours at a time, followed by a small meal or a couple snacks (rinse and repeat). i have been sleeping a lot and playing video games. i hope i start seeing results soon. is there a better light-fasting pattern i should do instead?

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[Rant/Rave] Poured soap on my cheesecake
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" l 132.1 | 26.07 l -16.9 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 16:06:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g5il2/poured_soap_on_my_cheesecake/
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RIP cheesecake. I was having a horrible day calorie-wise (if some of you saw my earlier rant I was totally down) and I was way over my calorie limit for the day but decided to eat dinner because I'm already fat, so why not. I calculated my dinner calories and they put me wayyyy over into weight gain territory but I was just going to do it anyway. Then when I started cooking I cut out some ingredients and it felt so satisfying to delete them from MFP and watch the calorie count go down. And then finally, in a moment of strength, I took a bite of cheesecake, said goodbye, and doused it in soap before I threw it away. What was going to be a horrible binge turned into just eating at maintenance today. I won't lose anything but at least I won't gain, and I got a lot of satisfaction out of throwing everything away instead of eating it and throwing it up.

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[Rant/Rave] I don't know what I look like...
/u/Flufferbutternutter [5'2" | 103 | 19.52 | -37 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 15:08:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g5an1/i_dont_know_what_i_look_like/
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A friend of mine called me a "twig" recently. She's a bit heavy (in a gorgeous way, I would kill to look like her), but I have always assumed we were around the same size. Anyway, we were chatting about how hard clothes shopping is and she casually dropped that she is 12 sizes larger than me. 12! Even at my largest she was 8 sizes bigger than me! Holy shit. People have been commenting on my wieght loss the last couple months, which I don't see but I thought not seeing it was probably just part of the recent disorder thinking/eating. Apparently, nope, I've never known. I'm so shaken by this. I have always been okay with being fat, my eating problems are about control not looks. But now I'm doubting everything about my mind. How can I have been so wrong about what I looked like for so long?

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[Rant/Rave] Skinny shamed and not even skinny?
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 15:08:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g5aik/skinny_shamed_and_not_even_skinny/
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Was at work this week when a co-worker laid into me about my weight in front of my only other work friends. We were talking about something completely different when she looks straight at me and says "and YOU need to stop losing weight. You're so skinny." -insert angry face here-

Here's the kicker: I'm completely 100% in the healthy, normal weight range for my height. In fact, instead of being overweight like when she and I first met, this is the first time she's seen me at my "normal" weight. I'm at the weight I used to maintain for years before I ballooned up the last 2.

I was mortified. All I could do was stutter that I was at a healthy weight and I hadn't lost much at all.

In my line of work, I get 15 minutes for lunch. Obviously fewer if I have to walk to the bathroom and back, and I've always chosen to fast during work and eat at home. It's much more convenient for me that way. She knows this, I've explained it, and I was eating soup that day.

Still pissed.

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[Other] I finally leave IP in two weeks
/u/Banshee__Queen [5'3" (I grew yay!)|48kg| 18.97 |+too much ('recovery weight) |F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 15:07:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g5ah4/i_finally_leave_ip_in_two_weeks/
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Slightly long list. TL:DR at bottom

Per the title. I've been here for about two months now, since then they've managed to put me from BMI ~13-14 to 19. I don't want to believe that's even possible. Either way, the condition of me leaving is that I reach BMI 20. I'm not exactly there yet, but I had a meeting with my doctors and medical staff and all the rest and we agreed that I am in a stable position to be able to care for myself again. So my discharge date is the 9th May, two and a half months after admittance.

Honestly though, I've spent a lot of today thinking. Right now I'm at a healthy BMI. I should be able to keep this. But there's something nagging me, that I shouldn't be like this. I look in the mirror and spend time looking at all the excess weight on my body, how I hate it so much. Basically, I don't think I've recovered. I don't think I ever have or ever will. What I do have is what I want to be. I think I liked myself better at BMI 16/17. I still ate three large sized meals a day, worked out everyday, had energy, had the majority of my life in check. I want to get back to that, I want my old body, not this sack of excess fat.

I didn't tell my doctors about it, since I know they'd make me stay for longer, meaning more weight gain. But, I think, the reason I ended up being so low was my mental issues. They haven't gone away, but I've been able to control myself much better. Or at least I'm very good at lying to myself to the point that I believe I'm genuine. So I don't think I'll put myself at medical risk again. I hope so anyway.

Right now though, now that I know when I can leave, I really want to leave. To have my life back, or what's left of it anyway. My university spent thousands of pounds to help me recover and in the end I didn't. But I'm fine with that. I can never recover physically, but at least I've recovered mentally? Is that even a thing? I have no idea. But yeah.

TL: DR I get to leave IP soon, didn't recover, but I'm okay with it, so expect me to be here ~~shit~~ posting more soon.

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[Rant/Rave] Broke my 48 hour fast 10 hours early >:(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 23 14:33:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g55lx/broke_my_48_hour_fast_10_hours_early/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] What do you guys do all day?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 14:24:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g54a1/what_do_you_guys_do_all_day/
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I've found myself in a predicament where I have...nothing to do. I'm in school Monday-Thursday and I get home from campus at around 4:30pm. I don't have homework or studying to do every night so 3 out of 4 school nights leave me with at least 5 hours of nothingness. Mostly I just browse Reddit with the TV on as background noise and shower at some point. On the weekends it's even worse. I have maybe 2 hours max of homework for the *whole* weekend and I ride my horse. I ride earlier in the day meaning I'm back home no later than 1pm. That leaves me with at least 9 hours of nothing to do.

Lately I've been fasting a lot and restricting to under 300 calories a day, so it doesn't leave me with much energy to workout, especially if I've ridden earlier in the day. I have TV shows I'm behind on but my depression has gotten the worst of me and I have no interest in those shows anymore. Seeing friends is out of the question because I refuse to be around unsafe foods. I kind of wish my house was messy right now because it's a big house and it would take all day to clean, but it's really organized and spotless.

To top it off, the semester ends in a few weeks so I'll have periods of days where I'm doing absolutely nothing. There's this movie theatre nearby that sells tickets to all movies for $5 on Tuesdays. I've been thinking about adding that once a week but even smelling popcorn is so terrifying. I feel like I'm inhaling calories (so stupid, I know). Any ideas for me? I'm totally out of ideas.

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I'm sick from the food I ate
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 23 13:52:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g4zia/im_sick_from_the_food_i_ate/
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[deleted]

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[Other] If I wasn't poor I wouldn't have an ED, I'd just be really good at finances.
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 13:16:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g4u2n/if_i_wasnt_poor_i_wouldnt_have_an_ed_id_just_be/
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Ironically my ED & other mental issues have kept me from doing any sort of education for the last couple of years, but I used to be and still kind of am a huge nerd. I really like math. Growing up poor I became pretty fascinated with finances, spending the least money possible is exciting to me. The problem is that having no money means no money to budget or anything like that, so I can't have much fun with it. But every day I get 1300 (±100) calories to budget. I get to calculate how many I need to "save" to get to my GW, I get to look at everything I could eat and do the math with its calories and macros. Then again bodies are stupid and I can't account for the 2lbs of random water weight I just put on, but as long as I know I got all the calories correct I can be assured that it's just water weight. It's so comforting.

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[Discussion] my body perception is ridiculous
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 12:38:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g4oma/my_body_perception_is_ridiculous/
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So last night I binged on a ton of food, and this morning I felt like crap and thought I looked disgusting. Then I took a shower and decided to weigh myself to assess the damage. Somehow, I lost weight despite the fact that my hair was wet and I hadn't pooped yet (TMI), so the food weight was still there. Then I looked in the mirror and suddenly felt great about myself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is my perception of self is so heavily affected by the number I see on the scale, and my body image doesn't depend on how I actually look, but how much I weigh. It's honestly kind of laughable when I think about it. How does everyone else feel about this?

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[Rant/Rave] My scale HAS to be wrong.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW:118.2 (-10) GW:95 | BMI 22.3 | Female]
Created: Sat Apr 23 12:28:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g4n0q/my_scale_has_to_be_wrong/
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118lbs has been my plateau weight for months. Could NOT get under no matter how much I tried. I'm on my period and have been feeling really bloated and just over all shitty. Yesterday, I had half a bagel. Awesome, right? And then my friends invited me to dinner and I fucking went crazy and got this horrible disgusting burger with pulled pork and bacon, and fries, and yeah.. just, too much greasy food. But now I weighed myself (no bowel movement, and no purging though I wish I would have) and I weight 115.4lbs. Like, way too good to be true. I'm not going to even update my flair in fear of jinxing it.

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[Rant/Rave] I feel like I felt better when I was restricting
/u/riproprip [5'2" | CW 115 | GW 95 | 21.79 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 12:16:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g4l88/i_feel_like_i_felt_better_when_i_was_restricting/
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I relapsed at the end of February and hardcore restricted for a bit, dropping from 130 to 115 by, well, now. It was pretty slow progress, I was keeping to around 600 a day. My bf found my reddit acount (birw) in April, and was very upset, but understanding. I've been trying to change in order to make him worry less, but it's hard. I feel unhappy and fat and disgusting. I eat 1200 calories a day now of really healthy food, still a little under my TDEE. I keep getting hit by these overwhelming waves of self hate though, I'll eat a snack because it's within my calorie limit and it's late enough in the evening that I won't get hungry later, and I still end up regretting it. I'll eat a lunch of 400 calories and feel like I wanna cry. It's only been a week since I've been eating at 1200 and I don't think I can do it anymore.


I made a really nice dinner of cottage cheese pancakes with a side salad and some greek yogurt. I took a couple bites and just, I couldn't. Like without consciously thinking to do it, I brought the plate over to the garbage and dumped it all in. I want to restrict again. It's the only way I can deal with my stress, especially with exams coming up...

Here's a picture of the dinner I made, I thought it looked pretty

https://imgur.com/1NieC9G

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[Discussion] Ugh. Getting back on track sucks
/u/mynoothrowaway
Created: Sat Apr 23 11:47:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g4gyd/ugh_getting_back_on_track_sucks/
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Well following an embarrassing binge, I'm fasting this weekend. The one upside to my husband leaving me is I live alone now, and puppies don't judge. A friend invited me to hiking and dinner tomorrow, but I figure a dressing free salad won't be too bad.

One thing I'm really worried about, I get SUPER SUPER cranky when I'm hungry. Like I have the world's shortest fuse. Does anyone else have this problem? How do you solve it?

Love you guys xoxo

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[Other] My fitbit came!
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 11:32:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g4eq8/my_fitbit_came/
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My replacement fitbit is here I'm so happy! I have managed not to binge so far also! I even have a little calories for booze. Whoop! Also i invested in halo top and yall are the best because it's my favorite now(:

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[Discussion] Diet pop
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 23 10:50:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g48ha/diet_pop/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Help!! How much weight can I lose in 9 days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 23 10:39:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g46xz/help_how_much_weight_can_i_lose_in_9_days/
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[removed]

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[Rant/Rave] When you have a huge BM
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 10:31:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g45rj/when_you_have_a_huge_bm/
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I feel so good. I ate dinner with a friend last night at a burger place, consuming way more than my daily calories in a single meal. Luckily I don't feel crazy guilty. Since I (probably) didn't go over my TDEE, I only felt moderately disgusted. When I stepped on the scale after the subsequent gigantic bowel movement though, oh man. The thrill is real, even if I didn't lose real weight.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Apr 23 10:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g41eb/daily_food_diary_april_23_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for April 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] My wife has been in the bathroom straightening her hair for the last half hour
/u/thegray_son
Created: Sat Apr 23 09:54:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g408z/my_wife_has_been_in_the_bathroom_straightening/
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and if she doesn't stop soon so I can purge this enormous breakfast that my fat ass had to eat every bite of then I might scream and kill myself (◕‿◕✿)

that is all

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[Discussion] Weird question...do your bones freak you out?
/u/pepto_bitchmol [5'4 | 122.5 | 21.44 | -55 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 09:35:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g3xjw/weird_questiondo_your_bones_freak_you_out/
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I'm at the stage where I can regularly see my chest bones, hip bones, ribs, etc. I love them, I love what seeing them stands for...but just something about being able to see the outline of my bones freaks me the hell out at the same time. It's like a constant reminder that there's a skeleton inside me, which is both an uncomfortable image and a reminder of my own mortality.

I've never been this thin in my entire life, so it probably just takes some getting used to. Just wondering if I'm some huge neurotic weirdo or if anyone else has the same experience?

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[Thinspo] I created a Thinspo folder last night and I thought I'd share some here. Have a wonderful weekend!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 09:28:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g3wi9/i_created_a_thinspo_folder_last_night_and_i/
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http://imgur.com/a/KqDSX

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[Help] The stupid scale won't move!
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 124 | 22 | -21 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 09:15:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g3uqx/the_stupid_scale_wont_move/
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I've been stuck at 126-128 pounds for the past two weeks. I was at 124 pounds before that, but then it went up and I just assumed it was water weight. It won't go away though and I'm getting so stressed out. I want to make progress again. It's just not possible that I've been eating 400-1000 kcals everyday and I'm not losing anything. I'm such a meticulous tracker too. What can I do? :(

Also (TMI), my period's been so weird this month. I don't know what's going on. It barely even lasted three days and it was super, super light and it was all black blood. I didn't even need a pad tbh. Anyone else experience this?

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[Goal] Fasting to get myself back in the right mindset
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 129.0 | 20.13 | -41 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 07:20:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g3fus/fasting_to_get_myself_back_in_the_right_mindset/
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I've been eating maintenance for weeks now. I'm so upset with myself. How much I could have lost by now. :( I'm so close to my goal, why am I sabotaging myself now?

It all went downhill once I had visitors in town, and I haven't had a weekend to myself for like a month, and work lunches, etc, etc. Just completely threw me off.

I had a few nice restricting days, but those were to counterbalance the overeating days with going out with other people.

I need to get back in the right mindset. It felt so nice when I was actually restricting regularly. I felt so much better about myself. Even though I haven't gained any weight, I still feel so much fatter these days and I need to LOSE damnit.

EC stack. Water, tea, and plant nanny app. Tumblr thinspo. Ready to get moving downward again.

My goal is to fast at least 48 hours, not starting since when I last ate but starting today, so no eating until Monday, possibly longer if I can.

Going to post here before going to bed to keep myself accountable.

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[Goal] This is it
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Sat Apr 23 06:50:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g3cl9/this_is_it/
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Today is the day I start a fast. I haven't done one for years, I always fail. But I binged last night and I feel disgusting. I'm so tired of doing that to myself. Please wish me the best of luck today. I'm hoping posting this will help motivate me because I'm serious about it.

I also just got a new swim suit that I'd like to feel good in and I paid good money for it.

I hope everyone has a great day and is rewarded with success.

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[Rant/Rave] What's the point?
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" l 132.1 | 26.07 l -16.9 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 05:35:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g34yn/whats_the_point/
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Hi, lovelies.

I'm at the lowest that I've steadily been in my adult life and I've never felt worse. Lately I feel like my goal weight is so unattainable that I'm not worth the effort. I don't think I'll ever have the body that I truly want. I have hideous cellulite on my legs and I feel it is getting worse. I think I lost weight everywhere except my arms because they look bigger than ever and disproportionate. I've even had to start contouring my face again because I can barely look in the mirror otherwise. I'm no happier than I was at my highest ever weight of 169 pounds, even though I've come so far from that. I don't really know what I wanted out of this post, I just feel like I had to tell someone. Thanks for reading.

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[Help] Lying to your parents about your weight loss / avoiding food when you're on a visit
/u/proed_throwaway [5'7'' | :( | -20lbs | f]
Created: Sat Apr 23 05:14:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g32zl/lying_to_your_parents_about_your_weight_loss/
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Long time lurker, first time poster, the usual.


Anyway, I'm gonna visit my parents for about a week in a little over a month and it's terrifying me, it's been over 6 months since my last visit and although I'm still not particularly skinny, my weight loss is noticeable. This wouldn't be a problem IF my family and relatives were normal, sensible people who don't glamorize fatness but unfortunately that's not the case. Where I'm from the "ideal woman" is a little chubby because it's a sign that she's a good cook and a baker who doesn't spend her time worrying about her appearance (because skinny=conceited and a woman's place is in the kitchen, you feel me? /s). So unless I want to spend my entire time there listening to my mum lecture me about how I've ruined myself, I need to explain my weight loss in a way that doesn't include "because I got tired of being a fatty". What kind of excuses could I come up? I thought I'd say that I fell sick with a stomach flu or something but I don't know if I can explain a 20 lb loss with that without them sending me to hospital, and I also want to lose at least another 20 lbs so I'd have to come up with another lie the next time I visit them. I also thought about saying that I've been crazy busy and haven't had time to eat but that would probably just make them feed me extra greasy foods the entire time I'm there.


Then there's the issue of eating while I'm there. I've lost my weight mainly through intermittent fasting (eating only on 4 or five days a week and limiting my meals in a 4 or 6 hours time span) because I am simply incapable of eating small portions, I gotta either eat nothing at all or all the foods in the fridge, and in my parents' house the people's entire lives revolve around food (go figure), and every single meal is finished with a dessert. I wish I was kidding, but we have cake even for breakfast. The reason why I never could lose weight when I was younger was that they'd pretty much forcefully shove food down my throat if I refused to eat some of their greasy cookings. I'm seriously terrified because I've been doing so well lately, and every single time I've managed to lose some weight I've gained it all back and some extra when I've visited my parents, even if just for a couple of days.


Thanks for reading, I apologize for all the typos and errors, and all advice and tips (minus burging) are welcome!

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[Rant/Rave] i hate my brain (rant)
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 |-12.4 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 23 01:39:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g2lov/i_hate_my_brain_rant/
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.. for those last few days

(sorry, on moblie so i'll flair later)

i spent the last two days binging, and today i feel horrible and my stomach is rumbling all the time (i ate a lot of chocolate yesternight, we got for uni for working at an event and i am lactose intolerant...)

also i had butter and bread craving and biscuits..

basically i ate everything i should not eat and now i feel so shite, but i can't afford long fasts and workout since i have so much going on at uni atm... arg

this whole month was just a fucking train wreck, and i plan to make a fresh start in may, as my ec stacks (or the closest thing i can get in my country)arrived yesterday..

i just feel so horrible it is like i can either fast or binge, nothing in between

i want to spent the next week, slowly getting a normal diet, before restricting again in may, to get away from the cravings and the binge mode my brain is in

so dispite my 3 am massive 2000cal binge, i will eat 'normal' today and that makes me very anxiois, but it is the only way i see to break the circle...

sorry for this long fucking thing, i just needed to let that out

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[Discussion] Thinspo but with text?
/u/_saisonenenfer
Created: Sat Apr 23 00:54:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g2hl9/thinspo_but_with_text/
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Hey y'all! I love this sub and everyone is super nice and cool here. The thinspo is motivating too. I was just wondering if there's like thinspo but with text? Does that make sense?

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[Rant/Rave] Just a check in, I guess. I have no one else to turn to about these things.
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 23:11:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g27j2/just_a_check_in_i_guess_i_have_no_one_else_to/
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Sorry on mobile all the time, can't flair until later. Just another rant.
Things are just going okay for me. I fast most of the day and then eat everything in the afternoon. So much easier with the EC stack which I need to take more often but it's hard to hide the bronkaid and NoDoz, especially since I used to abuse caffeine pills. Working on being able to take 2 doses per day.
I see a therapist twice a week now for my depression, which has gotten really bad, especially since I've had so much time off. At least it helps me get up off the couch to be productive and burn calories. Since I got my Fitbit scale, I realize my weight was super wrong and I'm more than I thought I was, which was a super buzz kill. My BF is like 32% which is disgusting and I just can't get my shit together.
Tonight I went on my first run around the block and a bit more, and it was 10 minutes of hugging and puffing. I used to run 5ks every day, this is so embarrassing. Definitely motivation to keep working on it. Feeling okay overall, even if this month didn't go as planned.

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[Intro] binges getting worse
/u/jamikl [5'9" | 164.6 | 24.38 | -3 | M]
Created: Fri Apr 22 21:54:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g1zmc/binges_getting_worse/
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Hi, I'm new to this subreddit, but I'm finding I identify with the fear/self-loathing I see in a lot of the posts about binging.

I'm pretty into strength/powerlifting and that got me thinking about nutrition, and when I looked at my body I realized I was 15-20% bodyfat at least. First off it's gross, and it's also suboptimal for building strength/muscle. So I started fasting 24h twice a week hoping to get my bf down to 10%, keeping protein high enough on the feeding days to maintain nitrogen balance.

But somewhere along the line I started having carb binges, starting one day after a fast. Now the binges are getting pretty frequent, seem to be associated with trying to feel comfort and/or punishment when I hate myself (history of depression, suicide attempts, etc), and they're getting bigger. I just ate almost 3000 calories of sugary shit beyond my calories for the day. My lifts are improving, but I'm freaked out that I'm just getting fatter even though the whole point was to lose fat, and I seem to be way more uncomfortable with hunger, like fasting makes me super stressed and upset.

I should mention that I'm a few months off booze and I had been drinking heavily every day before that (and actually tending to lose weight, drinking instead of eating, riding the nausea, etc) and I'm wondering if I'm trying to use food as an emotion management tool instead.

Also I'm on mirtazapine, the worst antidepressant for weight gain.

I don't know what I'm looking for here, but I really don't want to get any fatter.

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[Other] Some great reverse thinspo, especially since she models revealing outfits pretty frequently
/u/NaturalBlonde91 [5'6|CW:143|GW:125|UGW:120|BMI:23.05 |-33 |Female]
Created: Fri Apr 22 21:43:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g1yd5/some_great_reverse_thinspo_especially_since_she/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFs7uqU0Ltg

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[Help] Freaking out
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Fri Apr 22 20:11:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g1nii/freaking_out/
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Ya'll I'm freaking out. I had waaaaaay too much food today. I didn't even count calories but I had a bowl of apple jacks, two sugar cookies, a brownie, a chocolate cupcake, a bunch of double stuffed Oreos, a handful of m&ms, low cal soup from panera, fiber one fruit snacks (70 cal), a fiber one brownie (90 cal) and a bag of 100 cal pretzels.

I feel like shit. The only upside is I made myself walk 35K steps today and I took to laxatives. Ya'll please tell me if you think I'm screwed or not. I'm so upset

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[Rant/Rave] WHY is my body SO EXPENSIVE??
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 19:49:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g1kqm/why_is_my_body_so_expensive/
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(expensive in terms of time and calories)

I've been in semi-recovery/maintenance/damage control mode for a little while. My sedentary TDEE is 1400, so I've been eating that or a combination of 1000/1200/1600 in a way that evens out to 1400. I gave up on eating back exercise cals since it's such a fucking hassle.

Outisde the context of a binge, when you're eating like this regularly, it fucking SUCKS. it's SO. MUCH. FOOD. and the 3rd day in a row you've gone through a whole tub of full fat cottage cheese, it's not fun or even really guilt inducing anymore. It's just a hassle. Especially since I've broken my peanut butter addiction, the sheer volume of my food has gone way up. Like 700 calories of peanut butter is physically not a lot of food. 700 cals of 'normal' food is huge in comparison.

My stomach hurts from being full every night and I'm ravenous in the mornings because my stomach is stretching. When I was restricting, I was hungry but it wasn't distracting and it was even pleasantly motivating! Now it's another hassle.

All this food is expensive. There was a time (before I started buying my own food) where 1400 would last me 2 or 3 days. I buy the cheapest of my safe foods, but it's still pretty damn expensive! I have other bills to pay!

Not to mention alllllllll this fucking food takes forever to prepare when you have to sneak around your family like a secret agent to even weigh it out. I don't even really cook, just steam or roast veggies and it still takes forever.

Fear of osteoporosis and hair loss are the only reasons I'm even trying this. I can take most of the other symptoms of restricting. but 1400 cals of food every. fucking. day. just sucks time, money, and energy out of me!

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[Rant/Rave] Mom just got back from a two week trip abroad and...
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.2 kg (95 lbs) | last binged 30th March]
Created: Fri Apr 22 19:20:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g1h6j/mom_just_got_back_from_a_two_week_trip_abroad_and/
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She takes one look at me and says

"Wow you really have gained weight! Your face is so much rounder now!"


she said it with the most surprised expression on her face. And then she squints...

"Wait...is your face swollen? Have you been using something?"

I have no idea what to make of it.

Either she's only just realised how much weight I've gained over the last year, or I was looking particularly puffy faced, or....

As my super Chinese mom would say...AIYAH!

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Actually! Why loves Trailer Park Boys like I do???
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 18:34:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g1bgg/actually_why_loves_trailer_park_boys_like_i_do/
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https://imgur.com/1qJfEeK I'm an ex mustard tiger!!! FACK

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[Rant/Rave] despite eating an obscene amount of calories for the past few days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 22 18:33:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g1bei/despite_eating_an_obscene_amount_of_calories_for/
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[deleted]

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[Other] I look hot
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 18:20:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g19s6/i_look_hot/
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WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE OFF. That's my last post para el noche. I love you guys. Stay gorgeous. Thanks for being the best sub ever <3

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[Other] Dinners Tonight
/u/acronym_acronym [5' 11" | 130.4 lbs | 18.1 | -10 lbs | Male]
Created: Fri Apr 22 17:03:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g0zl8/dinners_tonight/
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To everyone who's Jewish and is being forced to go to dinner tonight, I feel you guys. Stay strong, stay focused. One night of food is never going to be as good as thinness. Hope everyone's doing well.

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling Pretty Okay [Rant? Yeah, I'd Say So.]
/u/whatnostopew
Created: Fri Apr 22 14:52:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g0g64/feeling_pretty_okay_rant_yeah_id_say_so/
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I'm actually really proud of myself today. And that's a first.

I've been in a *huge* rut of binging, and it doesn't help that my lovely family likes to buy a bunch of cookies and junk food while making pies and cakes every other weekend. It'd be where I'd come home, walk past the container of Lemon Oreos (Which I don't even like, I don't get it.) and then turn right around and grab, like, four. Then I'd do it again. Maybe get a PB and J next time. Oohh... what about some sugary tea? How about I pick at the pie now?

And it'd keep going like that until I stopped, took a moment to think, and realized all the crap I just did. Oof, that is never ever fun. But see, today was different. I went on a school field trip to place that served Chik-Fil-A, Starbucks and Taco Bell. My top three fast food chains, gross as it is. I was armed with ten dollars, and all I got was an Argos Tea (50 cal), Diet Pepsi (0 cal), and a pre-made Iced Starbucks coffee from the fridge in the gas station-y area (110 cal). When I got home, I beat my binge by having only 17 pretzels (Roughly 68 calories, and that's rounding up) with two teaspoons of PB (190 cal). This means my total was 418 calories, compared to the likely millions I usually have. Seriously, I'm amazed at myself. My Dad's in the kitchen now, which means I can't go and start eating. We're about to leave to a funeral, which means dinner is probably up to us when we get home.

If I can get my life like this (So on track), I'll probably cry of happiness. My biggest motivator is that I'm doing a pageant in around 3 years, and if you think I'm not going to grace that stage with a fluffy dress and a thigh gap, you are *wrong.* I'm so oddly happy right now. It feels like I'm finally getting my things under control. Even most of my grades are A-B ranged.

Fasting is great. Life is great. Things are going pretty okay.

---

[Rant/Rave] Fuck nuts and seeds
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5| 109 | 20.24 | -23lb | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 14:50:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g0fta/fuck_nuts_and_seeds/
---
Basically the title. I was doing so well eating moderate to large (0.5-2 cups, depending on the produce) portions of things like spinach, broccoli, sliced peaches, and blueberries. So I like using my half cup measuring for especially the fruits (which I eat at home; veggies I eat in my school's dining center). And then my work had trail mix. I knew my fat intake needed to be a bit higher because I was close to nothing and hormone synthesis is something that needs to happen sometimes.

And oh my god.

Almonds. Pumpkin seeds. Sunflower seeds. Peanuts. Dried fruit, too. My god how amazing these fucking foods are

Like an idiot, I decided to get whole bags of pumpkin and sunflower seeds but just having a fourth of a cup is SO MANY CALORIES (170 or 200). But I can't stop :(, it is just so good. I was able to pawn off most of the stuff in the house to my friends but there is still a half cup left of each of them.

Anything in trail mix is no longer a safe food. It is the only way.

Sorry, on mobile, can't flair :/

---

[Rant/Rave] I just ate my weight in whipped cream and chocolate chips
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 14:22:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g0bfd/i_just_ate_my_weight_in_whipped_cream_and/
---
After it took me all week to drop the five pounds I gained after last Sunday's binge. What the hell is wrong with me?

I'd guess it was about 700 calories. That's after I ate 700 calories the second I walked in the door from work. I've only been home an hour and have eaten 1400 calories.

Right now I'm sitting at 1555 for the day but I have a couple of single serve tubs of PB in the closet.

I'm gonna try to stick to beverages for the rest of the night. At least if I start drinking booze it'll dehydrate me and the scale won't look as bad in the morning :(

Edit: Fuck this shit. I'm getting on the treadmill. No booze until I burn at least 300 calories. And no wine either. Just vodka.

Edit 2: I'm ~330 calories down. Feel a zillion times better. Granted now I want sushi, but what else is new :)

---

[Rant/Rave] My thigh gab is gone :(
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Apr 22 13:53:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g06wd/my_thigh_gab_is_gone/
---
I have gained 7 pounds back after hitting my lowest weight and well, my thigh gab is officially gone now and I'm back over BMI 19. Why, why, why?!


Nobody likes a fat pig.

---

[Goal] Fasting for 48 hours! I'm excited!
/u/MissMagus
Created: Fri Apr 22 13:35:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4g03z9/fasting_for_48_hours_im_excited/
---
I have been drinking like a freaking fish lately. I can do a bomb ass job restricting alllll day....only to have it ruined by my want to get hammered. My roommates and I all love the show Archer, and new episodes come out on thursdays, so on those days we always get a shit mess of beer and drink like someone paid us to. Even when i tried to turn down the beer last week, my roomie looked at me like I had offended him and went "ARCHER NIGHT" and threw me one anyway. It's honestly like a tradition at this point.

Last night I had a shot of 151 along with 4 bud lights. And of course the drunchies set in and I had some combos (so yummy but SO high in calories) from my SO and a single hot wing. It could have been worse....but....the day before my SO was sweet and took me on a date that included dinner and drinks to celebrate the fact that I finally landed a job I had been going for. I did great at dinner, hella low cal.....then, of course, drank entirely too much at the bar.

So I just feel fat, and overloaded. I think a 2 day fast is exactly what I need to clear my head and get rid of this urge to drink even more. No booze on this fast. Not a drop. Just coke zero, tea, coffee, and maybe some broth before my orientation tomorrow so I'm not cranky.

Plus after this week, I've decided no more beer. I'm gonna go buy myself a nice bottle of vodka and drink that while everyone else guzzles shitty gas station bud light.

Haha, sorry. Just writing this out to motivate myself! You guys are all so awesome ♡

---

[Rant/Rave] Weird sense of calm
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 10:14:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fz5jx/weird_sense_of_calm/
---
I've felt much calmer after I made the decision to not go to inpatient, and keep on being EDed. No more battling with myself over eating a youghurt at breakfast, no more forcing myself to eat a piece of bread at lunch. Now I know what I have to do, and it's so easy and clear.

But I'm a bit amused/confused how easy this is. No-one has even questioned my decision, my parents even said that it was a good decision and they're glad that I didn't go inpatient. I'm meeting my doctor on 3rd next month, but others in my treatment team also agreed with my decision. Apparently I look and sound so much more energetic and healthier than two weeks ago. And they really seem to believe that I have magically started to eat 1500 cals per day and binge and purge only two or three times a week... I wouldn't have thought that would be even believable.

If this is as easy as it seems right now, this lying and stuff, I really can be as crazy as I like. It feels kind of great but kind of scary at the same time.

---

[Discussion] Everyone's frame size?
/u/FredMist [5'9.5" | 112 lbs | 15.9 | -11 | f]
Created: Fri Apr 22 10:04:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fz3v2/everyones_frame_size/
---
Someone else asked about whether frame size affects your weight so that prompted me to ask for comparisons because I do think your frame size affects the weight that people look best at.



Frame size is more about your shoulder width, hip bone width and rib cage circumference because it takes more skin, fat and muscle to stretch over wider hip bones, shoulders and ribs.


So to estimate if you're small or large framed we need to look at height, shoulder width (you should measure the length across your shoulders at the base of your neck between the knobs at end of your scapulas where your arms attach. This means the measurement should be taken from behind but if you're careful you can do this on your own. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/02/Scapula_-_posterior_view2.png ),
rib cage (around ribs just under boobs otherwise known as underbust), length between the tops of hip bones at the widest point.



EDIT: There's no chart for these measurements. I'm just gathering info to see what the average is across heights. You can get a ratio of hip width to height, rib width to height and shoulder width to height.


I think the one problem is that people aren't sure where to measure but I edited the measurement description/info to try to clarify.


The shoulder measurement is difficult to do on your own. My mom is a trained dress maker so it was easy to ask her to help with my measurement.


Average shoulder measurements are 13.5 for someone of average height so if your shoulder measurement is more than an inch off from this and you're average height, chances are that you're not measuring correctly. My 5'2 friend has 12.5" shoulders but hers are super narrow for her height.



I'm not sure what average rib size or hip width is but if we get enough measurements we can get an idea of average ratios.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 22 10:02:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fz3ms/daily_food_diary_april_22_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] I just ate the birthday present
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Apr 22 09:43:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fz0gs/i_just_ate_the_birthday_present/
---
I got for my friend. Jesus, I feel so bad about it.

---

[Other] feh. no progress, but I gotta stay positive.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 09:38:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fyzrp/feh_no_progress_but_i_gotta_stay_positive/
---
Feh. This week has been neutral. Didn't gain, didn't lose, pretty much ate at maintenance since Monday (and hella binged Saturday and Sunday).

I really wanted to keep progressing, but I feel like I'm in a slump. But it's ok, I've been losing weight since last July so I know these slumps happen before a 'woosh' of weight loss and a re-commitment to restriction.

I've been documenting my weight loss on various apps and charts, and the trend line is a downward slope.

I know the facts, I'm just petulant cause its not going fast enough.

waahhh.

In other news, I picked up so psyllium husk capsules, but I still haven't figured out the dosage. The bottles says "5 capsules, 1 to 3 times a day", and the further on states "2-6 capsules, 3 times a day".

I...huh...what? 5 capsules 3 times a day (15) sounds ridiculous, as does 6 capsules 3 times a day (18). And why the variance between lowest dosage of 5 capsules to the highest dosage of 18 capsules?!?!?!

Just give me a god damn dosage amount that's reasonable!

Regardless, I did 4 capsules yesterday, and today I'm doing 6. *shrugs* Besides farting a lot, I don't exactly feel regular yet. I guess it takes time for the body to acclimate, so until then, trial and error I suppose.

Now that the weekend is here, I wonder if I can surprise myself and avoid bingeing/grazing/maintenance eating and just stick to my 1300 cals. I'll have to make myself busy, but I don't know what to do. Saturday will have crap weather but Sunday I can at least go on a walk/to the park with babyman.

Saturday will be my danger zone, stuck inside, away from my safe foods, surrounded by snacky shit with an unstructured day. That's like the perfect storm for day-grazing that turns into night bingeing. I think I'll make a concerted effort to have structured meals like I do during the week.

I can do this right? I can do this. Self, you can get through a weekend without grazing/bingeing. Self, I believe in you.

---

[Rant/Rave] When everything happens at once
/u/nvrgonnaleavethisBED [5'10"|158.4|22.2| -19.4lb |F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 09:38:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fyzr7/when_everything_happens_at_once/
---
This is gonna end up being a massive block of text but I want to get my thoughts out :/.

I've managed to gain back the 10 pounds I lost in March in the past 2 weeks. 10 POUNDS, and this isn't water weight, I've accounted for that. This is the sickening actual fat from days upon days of binges that has made it so I am painfully aware of how my thighs touch even when my legs are shoulder width apart and how heavy and disgusting my body feels when I get dressed.

I had been doing so well before that! My intake had averaged out to around 1100 a day and I had been losing steadily. And then my boyfriend came to visit. Who is bulking. And even though he eats 3 meals a day is still complaining that he's losing his mass since he isn't eating enough. He looks great and I'm happy he's here but its derailed my entire system and brought binge foods into the house, and since he knows about all of the disordered eating and is supportive I'm not even ashamed enough to be able to stop myself from doing it in front of him. I'm sickening to watch and I make him feel helpless since he can't help me.

In addition to that I got diagnosed as bipolar II. Which fucking sucks. I get that mental illness doesn't define you, but it sort of fucking does. And the lamictal I'm taking to even out the mood swings, which isn't even at a high enough dose to work 5 weeks later, has made me lose all self control and made me more depressed, and made me tired enough that working out just isn't going to happen.

And to top it off, I'm interviewing at Lululemon next week. And they are definitely not going to hire a fucking chubby girl to sell their stuff.

I really really hate myself at this point. I hate that I'm sick in the head, I hate that I'm fat, I hate that I hate myself and I wish I was just alone so I could try to salvage my weight which is the one thing that makes me feel any control.

---

[Help] Tips for not binging on a night out?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Fri Apr 22 09:35:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fyz5l/tips_for_not_binging_on_a_night_out/
---
Going out drinking today. Apart from drinking straight spirits, any tips on how to keep the calories down?

Edit: I ate a slice of pizza (so much for keto lolz) and someone bought me a jaegerbomb but apart from that, managed to limit myself to 4 ish shots

---

[Help] DAE think they only look good at an underweight BMI? (also how much does my tiny frame skew my BMI?)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 22 08:53:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fysgv/dae_think_they_only_look_good_at_an_underweight/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] When all you cant stop eating/thinking about eating!!
/u/princessxpixie [5"4.5 | 104lbs | 17.5 | -29lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Apr 22 07:55:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fyjlm/when_all_you_cant_stop_eatingthinking_about_eating/
---
Buy a 2L bottle of pepsi max. I know it sounds simple but really works. Caffeine gives you energy and stops appetite and you can constantly drink it for hours so cures boredum eating. It helps me so much when all i want to do is eat everything so wanted to share.

---

[Rant/Rave] Fuck this.
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 07:45:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fyi75/fuck_this/
---
I don't even know if this matters but... Fuck this. Ugh...

I had been fasting from Sunday night at midnight and I planned to go until Saturday morning. And then my friend decided to buy me food last night.

What gives her the fucking right? It's my fucking body.

Fuck this. I ended up eating it too. And it was fucking chinese food. Probably 2000+ calories of disgusting, greasy oily fried chicken and noodles.

She sat there with me for the 3+ hours it took for me to eat it because I *couldn't* eat it any faster because it *hurt me*. I only went without food for 90 hours. So why does it hurt? I'm still in pain today. I feel bloated and nauseated. Ugh... I want to rot away. But now I have to sit here and deal with the consequences of being too much of a pansy to stand up to my friend and tell her no.

I hate this. I hate it. I hate it. Fuck this.

---

[Help] How much would you eat if you were me?
/u/rustyrustshackleford [5'5" | CW: LARDASS | GW: 80 | 15.8 | -40 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 06:56:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fybfu/how_much_would_you_eat_if_you_were_me/
---
Hey guys! So I've been eating a lot lately, and feeling really guilty about it, and I'm thinking of lowering my intake, but I wanted to see what you all would do if you were me. I'm 5'5" and around 95 right now (can't remember if my flair is accurate and I'm on mobile rn). I run 45-50 mi/week in training for a half marathon, including 14 mi long runs. I also have a really active job that requires me to walk all over campus for several hours a day. I currently am aiming for 1000 net per day, which has me losing about 1 lb a week. How much would you eat if you were me?

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[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! April 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 22 06:03:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fy4tq/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_april_22/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for April 22, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] No more eating after 8 pm
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.6 | 19.68 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 22 02:12:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fxjsv/no_more_eating_after_8_pm/
---
Day-time-Melusedek was doing so well today but apparently late-night-Melusedek is an asshole and can't be trusted. It's like all my good judgement goes out the window and I become a mindless eating machine when the sun sets so I'm instating a new rule where I'm not allowed to eat anything after 8 pm. Later I might relax this to include safe healthy foods (cottage cheese, cucumbers, and carrots), but for now it's like if I give myself an inch I'll take a mile.

And fuck what a mile. So much shit food last night. The only thing stopping me from completely hating myself is the fact that I'm running 17k today. This better translate into an awesome run or it will all have been for nothing.

---

[Rant/Rave] FUCK food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 22 00:27:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fx9gz/fuck_food/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] is it true that EDs cause/worsen depression? if so to what extent?
/u/qovserver [5'5 | 128 | 21.2 | 12lbs | female]
Created: Fri Apr 22 00:16:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fx8ef/is_it_true_that_eds_causeworsen_depression_if_so/
---
I have heard of people who got depression from EDs, but I am unaware of their situations.

---

[Discussion] What motivated me
/u/Qhqhqhqh17171717
Created: Thu Apr 21 23:09:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fx1i0/what_motivated_me/
---
Can I also say that what motivated me though my 24 hour fast was seeing a friend of mine in a tight work out shirt? I could see that she has been dieting properly and working out accordingly. It killed me inside. I was no longer the skinny one. People, just imagine not being the skinniest one in the group. Talk about thinspo...

---

[Help] Question about purging
/u/elbowrodeo [5'10" | 132 | 18.47 | -7 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 21:01:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fwmgf/question_about_purging/
---
This is going to be kinda gross, sorry!

So I very rarely purge, probably only once every couple months when I've had to have a huge meal with my family or something. But tonight I was feeling super shitty because I feel awful about a test I had today so I made some of those biscuits from a can with full intention to eat three and then purge them because I was already at 700 cals for the day. But then after I ate them when I went to purge, I couldn't get them to come up! I had drank tons of water before and was getting up some of my dinner that I had like 2 hours ago, but no fucking biscuits! I was trying for like ten minutes and drinking more water in between and still only puking up water, stomach acid, and little bits of my dinner. Now I'm so pissed because I never would have eaten those biscuits if I had known I couldn't just throw them up afterwards, I don't even like them that much and never binge like this.

So anyways, have any of you guys ever experienced anything like this? I feel like they must just be sitting in my stomach like a rock. I've never had ANY problems purging before and I just feel so gross and pissed that I threw up that much for nothing. Do you guys have any advice? Do you think I would have more luck if I tried again in a couple minutes?

---

[Help] What are your experiences with fasting?
/u/chubbibunniii [5'8 | 169 | BMI ? | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 20:22:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fwh27/what_are_your_experiences_with_fasting/
---
Edit: hope I flaired this correctly. D:

I'm terrible at replying on here, yikes. My depression has been kind of worse lately. Ugh.

But anyway, I wanted to ask you all how do you feel when you fast? Mentally, emotionally, and even physically (because I feel like we all just think weak and dizzy and hungry, but maybe there are other physical feelings you've had?).

I'm asking because I randomly decided to fast after starting my first EC stack this week. I had a really really bad binge early Tuesday morning around 4AM (and didn't eat for the rest of the day because of it) and then went right out and bought EC stack materials. I tried it out yesterday and was amazed at how it helped calm down my appetite. Didn't really feel a burst of energy, but then again I only did it once and caffeine rarely has the energy boost affect on me.

I didn't really feel all that hungry so I just didn't eat for the rest of Wednesday and now it's Thursday evening and I still haven't eaten. So I guess I'm fasting? I'm hoping to make it to at least 4:30PM tomorrow. I've never gotten this far and it's wild.

I'm rambling, but I wanted to kind of also list what I've been feeling and see if anyone else has experienced it? I don't know a lot about restricting/fasting and how it affects the body (besides weight loss) so I'm kind of lost here.

I've been feeling.. More air headed? That sounds so bad lol. But I feel like I'm hazy when it comes to conversations and decisions. I also feel more anxious. Since I've gotten this far in the fast, I feel like crying and breaking down and reaching out for help. But that doesn't make sense to me because I shouldn't need help--I don't know. I of course feel dizzy and hungry and a little weak. I've also been shaking constantly. Maybe that could be the EC stack with all the caffeine??? This is just so weird.

Last (TMI) question and then I'll shut up lol. Does anyone poop on a fast at all??? I know that I'm not eating so it makes sense to not poop regularly. But it's making me nervous. Is there anything in there? If so, then when will it come out? Do I have to eat for it to come out? Ugh!!

---

[Help] New to reddit, sorry
/u/littlebirdapple
Created: Thu Apr 21 20:16:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fwg6l/new_to_reddit_sorry/
---
Hi, I'm so sorry to ask but I couldn't find this in the wiki! How do I make the little bar that has your height/weight etc in it?

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[Help] Help with nausea and not eating? Birth control related.
/u/LetHerEatCake [5'1"|109.5|21.61|-15.5|F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 20:11:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fwfhe/help_with_nausea_and_not_eating_birth_control/
---
I started taking birth control pills again and now I'm suffering from the most common side effect- nausea.

I had been taking the pill before bed (hours after my last meal and hours before my next), and it made me so sick this morning that I threw up and had to leave work. So I tried taking it with my last meal today, but hours later I'm feeling sick again. I'm guessing the amount of food I'm consuming isn't enough to thwart the nausea.

The only thing that seems to provide temporary relief is to eat before I get too sick. I don't want to do this for obvious reasons. I'm still in a deficit today, but not nearly as low as I'd like. I can't tolerate going over every day just to not feel sick.

Does anyone have advice on calming medication related upset stomachs?

---

[Other] Really scared that my mom found out about my purging.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 19:57:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fwdhp/really_scared_that_my_mom_found_out_about_my/
---
She brought home chick-fil-a tonight, which I ate, and didn't binge on, really I ate a perfectly normal amount of food. But that's just it, anything normal feels huge, so I purged. I've really tried not to make this a habit but it keeps creeping up on me.

When I heard my mom on her way up the stairs, I decided I was done enough and flushed. The one thing I forgot was to spray some febreze to cover up the smell. Once I had retreated back to my room and my mom entered the bathroom, I heard spritzing. Uh oh. That means she smelled it, which means she knows I'm puking, which means she'll either talk to my therapist (not ED related) about it or confront me.

I guess I'm scared of other people knowing I have a problem. All I want is to just be normal, to think normal body thoughts, not to binge, not to purge, to have an entirely normal life. But the high I get from restricting and seeing my weight go down, there's nothing quite like it.

Edit: not quite sure what to flair this, it's more of a vent than a rant or a rave, but not quite a discussion. Eh, I'll go with "other".

---

[Rant/Rave] [Binge, Rant] Again? AGAIN?!
/u/lowgravities
Created: Thu Apr 21 18:54:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fw4m6/binge_rant_again_again/
---
I had three really good days, and then today. I'm trying to set a weekly goal, "six days out of seven isn't terrible for getting back on track if you make the weekend count," but...fuck.

I can't believe that four days ago at about this time, I was sitting here miserable telling myself that it wouldn't happen again, and it did.

And it's just as bad.

---

[Rant/Rave] I can't drink coffee anymore.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 18:28:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fw0gr/i_cant_drink_coffee_anymore/
---
I have consumed copious amounts of coffee in the last 24 hours. I'm 32 hours into my 48 hour coffee fast and I am **d o n e** with coffee. I'll spare you the details, but let me just say that going #2 with barely anything in your system (the last thing I had was a 100 calorie granola bar at around 9am yesterday) is HORRIBLE. I didn't know this was possible. I mean, I've coffee fasted several times before but this time I've probably doubled my normal consumption and the outcome is **brutal**. I need to stop. It's almost 5:30pm meaning 4-5 hours until I go to bed. I've been debating whether or not to end my fast *now* with a few crackers and give myself a pat on the back (out of pity), or just push through until tomorrow morning at around 9am which is when I originally planned to break my fast. I still haven't decided. But no more coffee. No more coffee fasts for a looooong time. At least not ones longer than 24 hours. I usually drink 1 cup of coffee in the morning to wake up but I'm doubting that tomorrow I can/should even drink that one cup.

---

[Rant/Rave] Just finished binging and...
/u/LeicesterSquare [1.83 m | 60 kg | 17.92 | M]
Created: Thu Apr 21 18:19:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fvz64/just_finished_binging_and/
---
for some reason I'm not feeling disgusted with myself, guess my body actually needed that extra boost. Well it's had it now, and we're going back to the old routine starting this moment.

---

[Help] When you post your daily calorie count here or on the leaderboards, do you post total consumed or net?
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Thu Apr 21 16:55:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fvm8n/when_you_post_your_daily_calorie_count_here_or_on/
---
I've been posting my total calories consumed, but that doesn't reflect my exercise calories. I'm feeling pretty terrible about continually posting numbers above 1k, but that's not showing the 7 miles I'm jogging a day. I'm feeling like a fat failure.

Maybe I'll just stop running so much and eating so much...

---

[Help] What do you (not) eat when you are sick?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 16:06:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fvels/what_do_you_not_eat_when_you_are_sick/
---
I've come down with a raging flu/cold thing. Ordinarily I'd enjoy feeling too shitty to eat but I have got to get better ASAP, and I know it'll be faster if I eat closer to maintenance. The problem is I'm in a really low spot with eating atm and basically anything other than a couple of safe foods is giving me serious stress. Any suggestions for calorie- and nutrient-dense foods that aren't too binge-trigger-y?

I wish I could just be tube fed and go to sleep so I don't have to think about it :(

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm scared
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 16:03:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fve42/im_scared/
---
I never thought I would be. I always kept telling myself that my ED behavior is just because I needed a solution to certain problems, for people to notice that I'm not doing fine at all and maybe even a slow suicide. Not because I have body images, not because I'm scared to be fat or because I need control.

I guess I was wrong. I'm on day 4 from a 5 day fast. I almost completed it. And every day I'm scared I will gain weight. I almost reached my lowest weight I've been in a few years and I feel fatter than ever. My stomach looks huge. I feel irrational and I want to laugh at myself. I'm emptier than I've ever been, why do I feel this fat?

Sorry for the rant, I didn't knew who else to turn to.

---

[Rant/Rave] I can't even walk I hate this.
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 16:01:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fvdt5/i_cant_even_walk_i_hate_this/
---
I physically cannot let my thighs touch. I always have my hand or a blanket or a pillow or a sweater or something anything in between my legs so they don't touch. I can't take it. I want to take a knife to them and physically cut pieces off of them. I can't even fucking walk because when I walk they touch. And it's so much there. They are so very much there. And I can't deal with the sensation. And then I cry because I want to move around but I can't because they'll touch but if I moved more I'd burn more and then they wouldn't touch anymore but I can't bring myself to just get up. Even yoga, fuck mountain pose. I cannot stand with my legs together! I'm going crazy and I hate it because it really means I cannot do things with my life. Want to go into town, need to cycle or drive. I can run oh sure I can run but I can't walk?! What kind of fucking logic is that!! Stupid, stupid, stupid. Excuse me while I go continue sitting on the couch with a pillow between my legs.

---

[Thinspo] Summer Inspired Thinspo
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 15:57:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fvd98/summer_inspired_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ASnif

---

[Discussion] Keto is my favourite thing right now.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 21 15:02:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fv448/keto_is_my_favourite_thing_right_now/
---
I know I'm still a heifer, BUT I'm feeling better after a three-day fat fast broke my plateau.

---

[Tip] Colgate's tips for teeth care and purging. This is awesome.
/u/dsprngact [4'10 | 119 | 26.6|-34| female]
Created: Thu Apr 21 13:59:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4futkw/colgates_tips_for_teeth_care_and_purging_this_is/
---
http://www.colgate.com/en/us/oc/oral-health/conditions/anorexia-bulimia/article/bulimia

---

[Rant/Rave] So this second time around I'm mostly fat
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 13:37:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fupft/so_this_second_time_around_im_mostly_fat/
---
I weigh anywhere between 105 to 109, with the occasional scary nudge towards 110 ( I weigh myself all day, everyday). This second time around I gained so much fat! I didn't use to have such a pooch the first time I rapidly lost weight. But going from 136 (pregnancy) to 92 in 2 months, I guess I didn't notice. I know that sounds impossible but I literally starved(stress had alot to do with it). Ate like 3 peanuts a day and fainted a lot. But I gained weight back to 111-115lbs when I got my shit together and got my parenting together and met someone amazing, now that I've lost some of that I just see a huge pooch. Sorry I'm ranting. I just feel disappointed and unhappy. I miss my 90s. I'm so close. I blame booze. :/ thanks for letting me rant my usual crap. Yall are awesome!

---

[Thinspo] This artist makes dolls that deal with difficult subjects. Nearly all of them are thinspo.
/u/lotr4000 [5'2"| CW 153 |BMI 28|-62|F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 12:50:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fuhbp/this_artist_makes_dolls_that_deal_with_difficult/
---
http://www.enchanteddoll.com/galleries1/#all

---

[Help] I hate work
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Apr 21 12:04:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fu957/i_hate_work/
---
I love my job, it's active and I work with nice people. BUT there's a "make your own candy bag" station in the store and we are allowed to eat from it. It's so hard to resist because I can't chew gum in the store or anything like that.

Please help me with ideas on how to resist it.

---

[Discussion] 4:30 pm will be the end of my 24 hour fast!
/u/Qhqhqhqh17171717
Created: Thu Apr 21 11:41:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fu4yf/430_pm_will_be_the_end_of_my_24_hour_fast/
---
Sorry everybody. Long time lurker here. Posting on my phone. I just wanted to say that I'm finishing up a 24 hour fast. To keep motivated I wanted to post here. So I want to know what's the longest fast you've successfully completed? And what do you do once the time is up? Thanks everyone!

---

[Help] anyone have experience with psyllium husk?
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 11:00:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ftx6o/anyone_have_experience_with_psyllium_husk/
---
I'm not constipated, but since I've been restricting I'm irregular. I remember years ago a health-nut coworker swore by psyllium husk. I'm interested in trying it to see if I can get things moving, but I also don't want to inadvertently give myself explosive diarrhea.

Anyone have any opinions or experience with it? or perhaps something else to get sluggish bowels moving?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Apr 21 10:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ftn6i/daily_food_diary_april_21_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] Did your loose skin tighten up? How long did it take?
/u/sorry_ari
Created: Thu Apr 21 10:01:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ftn2e/did_your_loose_skin_tighten_up_how_long_did_it/
---
I've lost about 12 lbs, 7-10 more to go to be in a weight range that I want (I want to fluctuate between 117-120). I've definitely lost some fat on my arms but I notice I have some loose skin. It's not horrible, but I do wish it'd tighten up. Does that ever happen? In the last few months, I can already see skin on my belly changing. For reference, I am in my mid-20s and I moisturize like a fiend because I live in a dry climate.

---

[Help] EC Stacks?
/u/LadyGreyish [5'7 | 121lbs | 19.5 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 09:13:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ftevl/ec_stacks/
---
Hi guys,

Going through a rough period atm and I really can't control my hunger :(. I've been reading a lot on this sub about EC Stacks, but I don't quite know where or what to get exactly. I'm not even sure if I can get any in my country xD... Can someone give me some tips? What should I be looking for / where can I find it?

---

[Tip] Too Tired to Workout when Restricting. Anyone Else?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW:118.2 (-10) GW:95 | BMI 22.3 | Female]
Created: Thu Apr 21 09:06:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ftdlb/too_tired_to_workout_when_restricting_anyone_else/
---
I used to love working out. I went to the gym everyday for about 2 hours to do cardio and weight training. I think I may have restricted too much the last week because I am SO tired. I'm taking four Primatene tablets a day just to make it through my desk job 10 hour work day. Any suggestions? Has anyone else felt like this so I can maybe justify something else than just being a lazy slob?

---

[Other] Article from The Onion inadvertently captures how I feel when I go to a restaurant and binge
/u/Journeytothin [5'6 | 129.9 | 21.0 | f]
Created: Thu Apr 21 08:32:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ft7xm/article_from_the_onion_inadvertently_captures_how/
---
http://www.theonion.com/article/man-ashamed-himself-after-cashier-reads-food-order-52779

---

[Rant/Rave] Buy sweets to portion out throughout the week? Impossible.
/u/gastastic [5'1 | 120.4 | 22.7 | 26F]
Created: Thu Apr 21 08:16:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ft5dz/buy_sweets_to_portion_out_throughout_the_week/
---
I ate an entire bag of candy this week, and ate it all the day I bought it. I should have known better, but sometimes I think I'll have the self control to not self-sabotage. TLDR; I can't.

It's just easier to not eat than eat a little.

---

[Discussion] Do you think we will ever be happy?
/u/MermaidHeart [5'6" | 127lbs | 21.1 | 16lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Apr 21 07:41:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ft06w/do_you_think_we_will_ever_be_happy/
---
I was wondering about this today. If I lose all the weight I want, and I look the best I could look, will it ever be enough? Will I ever like my body?

If you girls/guys on here lose the weight you want, do you think you'll stop at the perfect weight you wanted initially, or would you keep going?

I guess I realized today.. Such is the real nature of ED. Or maybe body dysmorphia.

---

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support April 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Apr 21 06:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fsmuy/weekly_emotional_support_april_21_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Help] Coffee fast?
/u/SquirrelLurk
Created: Thu Apr 21 05:45:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fskuv/coffee_fast/
---
(Im on mobile so Im sorry if it doesn't have a correct flair)

Hi, I'm a lurker mostly but today I'm trying to have a fast-ish day where I'm allowing myself coffee and some ice water, possibly ice-coffee. The day have been going good so far, but I'm a bit scared of breaking the fast at work (waitress) as there will be food right under my nose the entire day..

Have anybody had a similar situation that can chime in with restriction tips when working with food all day?

---

[Help] Can't stop thinking about purging
/u/ariadne2b [5ft6 | 103 lb | 16.9|-17lbs | female]
Created: Thu Apr 21 00:43:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4frs5r/cant_stop_thinking_about_purging/
---
It's been 4/5 years since I last made myself sick. I never binged/purged; more that I would throw up after meals, but I started running a few years back, really got into it and found that the exercise helped me to stop.

But recently I've been restricting more than usual and for some reason every time I eat I think about making myself sick - even if it's just raw carrots or something. I don't know why I started to feel like this again but I'm really worried I'm not going to be able to stop myself from doing it soon.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm miserable so I want to binge
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 23:11:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4friv8/im_miserable_so_i_want_to_binge/
---
But that would make me feel worse, so why does it feel like the only thing that will make me feel better?

---

[Discussion] Food journals
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 19:34:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fqq3e/food_journals/
---
Do you guys keep them? I obviously log my food in MFP, but I was thinking a food journal might be helpful. More for my thoughts on food, than what I'm actually eating, but I don't know if it would end up making me more upset at the end of the day.

I'm trying to pinpoint triggers for when I eat shitty vs when I eat well. Also I think having to write (and also see all the previous weeks info at a glance) might make the numbers on the scale a little more tangible.

I've been really struggling since I hurt my knee on Saturday and haven't been able to run. I knew I loved to run, but I don't think I really knew how much until I couldn't do it. I totally took it for granted
:(

---

[Discussion] Thin Actresses
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 20 17:57:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fqc8f/thin_actresses/
---
[deleted]

---

Binged again so I made lax tea and am waiting for it to cool down
/u/moonraven6661 [5'5|288.2 lbs|BMI 48|F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 16:40:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fq07d/binged_again_so_i_made_lax_tea_and_am_waiting_for/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fq07d/binged_again_so_i_made_lax_tea_and_am_waiting_for/

---

[Tip] A little unusual tip for distraction
/u/MymlanOhlin
Created: Wed Apr 20 16:12:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fpvep/a_little_unusual_tip_for_distraction/
---
The nail polish trick is always floating around, and while I really like it, it can actually get stressful (all of a sudden you actually HAVE to do something but cannot because of the wet nail polish and you don't want to look like a fool with only one hand painted), so for those of you who want an alternative, here's one

I started reading out loud on streaming websites a few years ago to calm myself down. It forces me to focus, and I actually process the material better. Showing one's face is not needed which takes some stress out of streaming, and it takes longer to read out loud than silently. Sometimes I would get viewers and sometimes not - that was obviously not the important part.

I did this for my anxiety and I've decided to start doing it again because it just felt so calming. It might not be for everyone, but I swear it is less scary than it seems.

---

[Rant/Rave] Fuck it, I'm fasting.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 15:49:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fprkz/fuck_it_im_fasting/
---
So I woke up this morning feeling nice and slim. I haven't weighed myself since Thursday because I went out of town over the weekend and didn't restrict, so I've been spending this week fasting and restricting to get rid of the water weight. I *was* planning on weighing myself on Friday but then I got my period :| So now I'm not planning on weighing myself until a few days after my period ends.

I feel fucking huge. In addition to that, I'm a raging **bitch**. I want to snap at anyone who texts me *anything* because I just want to be left alone. This guy on campus today asked me if I was registered to vote. I said yes, then he asked me to complete a survey. I threw my hands in the air and very rudely said "I have to go to class!". I feel bad about that. My road rage is through the roof. My *red* car is a very accurate representation of my day today. I'm guessing lack of food isn't helping with my mood and irritability but...

I was going to eat something worth 200 calories today for dinner but it's just too stressful trying to figure out what to eat. So I've decided I'm not going to eat. And I'm not going to eat tomorrow either. I'll break my fast at 48 hours before my horseback riding lesson on Friday morning with a granola bar.

---

[Discussion] I don't understand: Freelee the Banana Girl (and Freelee vs the rest of YouTube)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 15:03:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fpjns/i_dont_understand_freelee_the_banana_girl_and/
---
I vaguely remember when news of Freelee started circulating the Internet, but I never really bought into her, her channel, her following, etc. I just never paid attention one way or another. Today I was adding her eBook "Go Fruit Yourself" to my PDF library and she's piqued my curiosity.

Most recently she is in the midst of some shenanigans versus Blogilates in the Court of YouTube. Now, this is my impression of her: She is seemingly always clashing against one person or another; Tess Munster, Kayla Itsine, Perez Hilton, blah blah blah. And [she may or may not be a liar](https://np.reddit.com/r/xxfitness/comments/4724e5/can_someone_please_explain_to_me_how_freelee_the/) depending on who you ask.

I don't know. Am I missing anything significant here? Am I doing myself a disservice by not trying a Banana island or Raw til 4 or the other regimes she endorses?

edit to change link to NP

---

[Other] It feels so good to update my Driver's License!
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | 104.7 | 18.69 | -37.3 | Female]
Created: Wed Apr 20 14:59:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fpixm/it_feels_so_good_to_update_my_drivers_license/
---
http://imgur.com/Ll7WyPq

---

[Discussion] emotions after therapy
/u/lilaclia [5'4" | 113.2 | 19.4 | -9.8 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 14:51:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fphmq/emotions_after_therapy/
---
Monday I had my first therapy appointment and it brought up a ton of emotional stuff I've been trying really hard to keep down and just try to go forward with my life.

It's triggered a relapse (after 1 week of recovery) and mainly depression. My therapist made me realize that it's normal to respond this way to my life situation and how people have been treating me. Essentially, I'm being erased and forgotten. It's really hard to handle that I'm actually not overreacting and making it up in my head. It's real.

Today I took 1/4 of a Wellbutrin pill just so I could get some relief from all these difficult emotions. It's really suppressing my appetite and right now I just don't care about eating or taking care of myself. I wish that I did. Because I really do want to be happy enough to want to take care of myself and, when it comes down to it, live.

My next appointment is next Tuesday and I think I'm going to tell her that I have problems with eating and possibly an ED. I mean, jeez, I have so many things that I need to tell her about.

---

[Rant/Rave] Agreed to have lunch with a co-worker on Friday.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 14:44:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fpgdx/agreed_to_have_lunch_with_a_coworker_on_friday/
---
Why do I have so much anxiety over someone witnessing me eat? I am so anxious about him seeing me put food in my mouth that I can feel my heart thumping *hard* in my chest right now. What if I decline eating altogether and he gets suspicious or thinks I'm weird? What if he feels awkward being the only one eating and he thinks I'm judging him or something? What if our whole lunch date ends up awkward because of my food anxiety and he stops talking to me? I don't want to cancel because I really like hanging out with him and never see him outside of work. Eating is something *everyone* does and it's normal but it's so personal to me and having to do it around other people just gives me *so much* anxiety.

---

[Rant/Rave] Been having a rough patch and could use some words of advice and motivation :(
/u/thinspo2016 [5'5 | 95 | 15.8 | 35 | Male]
Created: Wed Apr 20 13:36:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fp488/been_having_a_rough_patch_and_could_use_some/
---
I've been having a rocky sort of month in terms of weight loss + gain and its starting to get to me. I was sick for a while (unrelated to ED) and the antibiotics I was taking made me bloat and gain weight, and I definitely feel that I've gained some stomach but overall I've maintained my skinnyness. It just sucks because it's not like just straight binging for weeks, it's more like I have little spots of doing well then I lose control and binge on something for no reason. Idk why i've lost the mindset and motivation that got me down to my GW but I could use some advice or tips or anything

---

[Other] Me every time I hit a new GW :(
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 108.5lbs | 19.37(new) | -23.5lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 13:32:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fp3er/me_every_time_i_hit_a_new_gw/
---
http://imgur.com/GzMH2zv

---

[Other] Me every time I hit a new GW :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 20 13:14:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fp086/me_every_time_i_hit_a_new_gw/
---
http://imgur.com/QdvK8YX

---

[Rant/Rave] "I didn't eat anything today.."
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 |-12.4 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 13:13:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fozzw/i_didnt_eat_anything_today/
---
".. I only had like ceral for breakfast and a yoghurt for lunch!"

DAE get really angry/annoyed when people say this?

I hate when people do that, and it happened today again at uni

One of my friend group ate a sandwich, and was like "I didn't eat anything today! Just a bit of veg and a toast in the morning!"

a bit of veg and a toast are not nothing

Nothing is nothing!

This makes me so irrationally angry! My sister does it too all the time, (she is currently losing weight, since she gained a lot because of medication), always excusing it like that when she eats (in the lines of "oh I can have a bowl of your cereal, I didn't eat anything today! Besides breakfast and a yoghurt before lunch!"

I could punch her for that (and once more because she just ate a huge bowl of one of my safe food, which would be 3 portions for me)

---

[Discussion] How's everyone handling the holiday today?
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.9 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 12:49:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fovpr/hows_everyone_handling_the_holiday_today/
---
So it's 420, a restricting nightmare.

If you're toking, how are you holding up resisting those munchies?

I'm currently "bingeing" but on healthy food. Cottage cheese, pickles, carrots, little bit of healthy tuna salad, soup in a cup (90 cal for 175 ml, just add boiling water - best thing ever!!), and LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER!!

Also enjoying the sunset which is better than any food could be :)

Cheers, ents

---

[Goal] I stopped in the middle of my beginning binge for the first time in my life.
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 12:40:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fou6j/i_stopped_in_the_middle_of_my_beginning_binge_for/
---
I've been trying this thing where on days when I do my lifting program, I eat around 1600 (so: mon, wed, fri). On the other days, i go for 0-800. The problem is that I tend to go crazy on my 1600 days (ive gotten them down from 4000 cal binges to 3000...). Yes, I know hunger sparks binges, but i binge even when consistently eating 1400 calories. so i concluded to just fast when I'm not working out.

ANYWAY

I was making a microwave cake that would have been about 400 calories, but further than that, it would have sparked me to eat ALL THE THINGS. i know this because ive done it before. Halfway through eating this cake, I stopped and I threw it away. It's been 3 hours since then. I don't regret it, and I'm happy that that 400 was really only 200 (im counting it as 260). Further than that, I'm still on track to only eat 1600, which would be the first time since i started this plan (2 weeks ago). I'm very excited for today.

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[Discussion] I hate that I'm so fat that losing a lot of weight doesn't even look that different on me.
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 12:13:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fopbm/i_hate_that_im_so_fat_that_losing_a_lot_of_weight/
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So as of January 20, I have lost about 47 pounds. I stalled for a few weeks but am now losing around 4 pounds a week which I am happy at. The thing is, when I look in the mirror I feel absolutely no different. My bra doesnt fit anymore, and some jeans are too big, but visually I see nothing. The only thing I can maybe see is when I take selfies my jawline is more visible. This is so discouraging. Like where the fuck is all the fat coming from?? I only take measurements once a month, and from january to april I'm down between 1 and 3 inches in most places but damn you would think that would be at least a little noticeable. I guess I just hope that I will hit a point where I will start looking different much faster. Right now I'm at 36% of my goal. I guess what I'm asking is does this happen to anyone? Like you lose a lot of weight but you don't look different, then bam all of a sudden you do? Also, I have been running some and can tell I have gotten some leg muscle, but I've stopped doing that as much when I lowered my daily calorie intake to 400 because I don't have the energy.

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[Tip] irresponsible ED tip; read at your own risk.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 11:20:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fofkb/irresponsible_ed_tip_read_at_your_own_risk/
---
Apparently donating blood or blood platelets burns about 650 cals. Donating platelets takes more time, but you can do it weekly whereas donating regular blood is quicker, but can only be done every 8 weeks.

The American Red Cross does not advice donating blood as a weight loss tool. But ya know...do what you will with the info.

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[Rant/Rave] So I have this gym membership
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 10:48:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fo9w8/so_i_have_this_gym_membership/
---
And I was so motivated, but going makes me feel guilty for not being home for my kid and grandma. I'd rather take my kid out for a nice long walk in the stroller, but I also like I how quickly I seem to get fit when I have access to all those machines...plus I love abusing the stair climber after a binge. Its also costing me money. I gotta get my ass motivated cause I can see the globs of fat hanging on so tightly! And I hate paying for shit I don't use.

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[Other] So I made a decision - I'm not going inpatient
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 10:37:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fo7wq/so_i_made_a_decision_im_not_going_inpatient/
---
Last week my doctor heavily recommended inpatient for me, and today and went to visit the inpatient ward to see what kind of place it is.

I've been thinking a lot about it, and today I finally made my decision. I won't go. I'm not ready for it. And what's more, I really don't want to be watched over constantly, for several months, away from home.

It was kind of tempting though - I really haven't gotten binging and purging under control yet, and it might be kind of nice, having someone else do everything like cooking and cleaning etc.

If I'm being honest, I'm going to lie and cheat a lot from now on in my treatment. I'm going to keep eating a bit more, about 800-1000 cals per day in hopes that will help me get binging and purging under control and keep my weightloss slow/nonexistent. But I will assure my treatment team that I'm not binging that often and I'm eating healthy dinners etc so that they will stop pushing inpatient for me. And when I get out of the day treatment I will start losing again. Then I will have weekly appointments where I will be weighed so I can be ready for those and drink a lot of water and eat more to gain food and water weight etc.

So I basically decided to keep embracing my disorder. I know it's not a good idea health-wise and to be honest, life quality wise, but that's what I want right now. It's quite sad but true.

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[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Nana Osaki and Mika Nakashima as Nana Osaki
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 10:35:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fo7k0/thinspo_nana_osaki_and_mika_nakashima_as_nana/
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http://imgur.com/a/U7WTH

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[Discussion] Does anyone else binge as a form of self-harm? As opposed to binging because you crave the food or like the feeling of eating?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Wed Apr 20 10:18:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fo4gg/does_anyone_else_binge_as_a_form_of_selfharm_as/
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It seems like a lot of people binge because they are craving either a particular food (or their body's craving a nutrient) or they like the feeling of eating large quantities. More and more, I find myself eating just to hurt myself and/or derail my progress. There have been times I've been in a grocery store or my kitchen and having an internal battle over genuinely not being hungry, but consciously wanting to hurt myself by eating something awful for me. It's not even always food that I think tastes good. Or it could be something so sweet that it makes my teeth hurt. But I find myself cramming it in anyway.

Any advice on how to deal with this?

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[Rant/Rave] plateau annoyance and the addiction of loss.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 10:04:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fo206/plateau_annoyance_and_the_addiction_of_loss/
---
ugh. I'm finding it difficult to break the 113/112.5 plateau. On one hand, at least I'm below 115, but on the other hand, WHY AM I NOT MOVING FORWARD.

Its not about reaching the goal weight, its the rush of *losing* the weight. Seeing the weight tick down, feeling like I'm accomplishing *something*. I'm a daughter, wife, mother, corporate drone; yet so many women are these things as well. What will set me apart? The efficient speed of postpartum weight loss and being a 'tinymum'. Its an identity, something distinctly mine that's not shared by my husband, child, parents, friends, coworkers, etc. *"who are you?"*-I'm that bitch who looks like she never had a kid.

Logically I know I'm on a downward trend, water retention is a real thing, and weight loss (of the minuscule, obsessive kind) isn't bound by strict mathematics.

Despite knowing the reality of what I'm doing and my accomplishments, it still *bothers* me that I've plateaued.

There is no reason for this pressure; my deadline for 110lbs is June 18th. I'm so far ahead of schedule that I'm not worried about meeting my goal. But fuck if the rush from losing weight isn't addictive. So addictive, that I'll berate myself for the totally innocuous phenomenon of water retention.

I really don't want to restrict further, and while I know a fast would speed things along, I need food energy for mental and physical engagement. God, I'd have nooo problems fasting if I had a weekend by myself; I could just lay around, read, and drink water/tea.

But, I have to eat. So I guess I'll tighten things up again. I already drink 64+ ounces of water a day, so I guess I'll have to go strictly no sodium for a while. hmph. A keen idea, except for the fact that my husband is making us fancy steaks and (salt) stuffed (salt) mushrooms for our anniversary dinner tonight (11 years, woohoo!).


pppfffttttt. I'll figure something out, all is not lost! chin up I say, chin up!

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Apr 20 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fo1kl/daily_food_diary_april_20_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Other] Math and Facts
/u/sorry_ari
Created: Wed Apr 20 09:55:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fo08h/math_and_facts/
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Listing math and facts to keep you sane. Please feel free to join in with your own. As much as I hate authority, sometimes empiricism really does help keep me from feeling anxious.

* My deficit over the last 5 days is 3000cal (conservative estimate).
* If I fast all day today until 420/Passover dinner, I can easily keep my intake between 1200-1400cal.
* If I keep my intake between 1000-1200cal Thursday (depending how much I go over my goal tonight), I will have a deficit of over 3500cal.
* 3500cal = 1 lb
* My period is due any freaking day now.
* If I don't see a 1 lb of loss on Friday it's because of my period and because I've got an epic poop in the literal pipeline, so I just have to keep swimming.


Unrolling that brisket and trimming the fat off it this morning was the biggest source of inspiration/motivation ever. When it's out of the oven, it'll just be food, but when it's a raw hunk of meat, it really trips me out. If you ever host a party, I recommend looking at/holding/ cutting up a chunk of cow chest at the approximate weight of your loss. It will throw you.

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[Goal] Stopped a binge!
/u/Thepuginpink
Created: Wed Apr 20 09:06:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fnrmp/stopped_a_binge/
---
So I had 15 dollars in tip money and I was going to fast today but I woke up and thought fuck it I'll eat whatever. So I went to the gas station where I usually buy binge food and instead of buying binge food I bought cigarettes and a Diet Coke and since cigarettes are ungodly expensive here, I had no money left. I did eat a clif bar and and some popcorn. So I'll have 400 calories for today. So I'm a little proud of myself for not fucking up for once.

---

[Rant/Rave] Why am I not losing any weight!?
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Wed Apr 20 08:43:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fnnl4/why_am_i_not_losing_any_weight/
---
Its starting to really stress me out. I've been restricting to 800 or less calories for nearly a week now (with a bmr of 1800 or so, adjusted to 2100 or so for activity) and I've only had one real binge in all that time. So why isn't my weight going down. i have been the exact same weight each time I step on the scale, but I am running a deficit of at least 1000 cal per day. That should be a pound lost every 3 days, and in reality, I should be losing a pound every 2 days or so. Why isn't it working? Why am I still so fat!

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[Tip] Something I need to remind myself of today: I would not eat flour, sugar, baking soda, oil, or shortening by themselves. Mixing them together into a cake does not make them better.
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Wed Apr 20 08:00:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fng9c/something_i_need_to_remind_myself_of_today_i/
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Someone brought in cupcakes to work. They're the shitty, store bought, overly sweet kind that I don't even like anyway. But dammit I have to pass them every time I go to the kitchen. Trying to remember how gross the separate ingredients would be by themselves so I don't give in.

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling awful. I could use some support.
/u/Nonsense_Addict [5'4" | 132.5lbs | 22.7 | -2.5lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Apr 20 06:13:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fn0mt/feeling_awful_i_could_use_some_support/
---
My SO made some macaroni and cheese for himself and the kids with some chicken strips on the side. He, knowing that I'm vegan, saw me staring at the food and asked "it isn't REAL cheese in here, is it?" as he grabbed the box to check the ingredients. I immediately said that it was. But I was so very interested. I then leaned in like a creep and whispered "but I don't care". He laughed and made a small bowl for me. He could tell I was very hungry, and said I was welcome to have some chicken strips as well. I thought, fuck it. If I purge, no harm done.


I scarfed down the 300+ cal meal, taking sips of water between bites to prepare for my purge. After I purged as much as I could, he and the boys left for a bike ride. There is was, alone with all this tempting food, after already having eaten this tasty, fattening, salty meal (also forgot to mention he served me waffles in the morning, which I also immediately purged).


I wanted it all. I started making excuses: "I've been walking a lot lately" "my net cals are at 0" . . . Stupid.


I started at the Oreos, then rice, more rice, more Oreos. . . I just couldn't stop. Even though I was no longer hungry, I found myself eating for pleasure.


Now, usually in a situation like this, I would simply purge away the guilt. Unfortunately, I had taken my Quetiapine before my binge, and I didn't want to puke up my pills. Why not take more? Because my doctor is only allowing me two days worth at a time to prevent another overdose.


I had to sit there with all that food in my gut. I could feel it. I can STILL feel it! And this was over 12 hours ago.


I plan on fasting today. Simply tea and water. I'm a little worried about my energy, though. I would like to fast as long as possible, but my band has a gig coming up in a few days. I'm just freaking out about every little thing. It's so foolish of me.


I need support. I need encouragement, advice. . . Anything. I'm sorry for rambling on, but I don't really have anyone to talk to.


**TL;DR** SO offered me high-cal food. Turned into a massive binge. Didn't purge because I wanted to keep meds in my system. Plan on fasting for at least 24 hours. Feeling upset, guilty, anxious, fat, discouraged. Looking for support, motivation, and general kindness.

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[Discussion] So what you're saying is I can make my veges taste like anything I want it to?
/u/whyhelloothere [163cm| 49kg| 18.7| -15 kg| F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 05:50:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fmxvh/so_what_youre_saying_is_i_can_make_my_veges_taste/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdLya56NZ_w

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[Discussion] Are there things you dont discuss about your ED, even with other EDed people?
/u/azureice1984 [5'5.5 | 102 | FAT | lost 65ish lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 05:28:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fmvgl/are_there_things_you_dont_discuss_about_your_ed/
---
A simple "yes" or "no" obviously will suffice.

I am pretty much an open book, but there are a few behaviors i never bring up or discuss bc i think theyre relatively uncommon and so i might give people the idea.

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[Rant/Rave] the lesser of 2 evils..
/u/my_body_my_rules [5'5 | 139 | 52.31 | 90ish lbs| female]
Created: Wed Apr 20 05:23:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fmuzg/the_lesser_of_2_evils/
---
Sorta, the lesser of two evils. I was about to binge on icecream... but i argued with myself and instead i binged on fresh blueberries. I ate about 3 cups.

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[Goal] And so begins fasting day 3...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 05:14:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fmu1b/and_so_begins_fasting_day_3/
---
I have officially gone 55 hours without food. Breaking my previous record of about 48.

I want to go 120 hours. The weightloss that has been happening is astonishing. I am excited to say I have just broke through my previous low weight. I'm not even prepared to say how much because I still feel like a fat cow, but I'm pleased for the most part. I might actually make my first goal weight by the end of the semester.

But I don't know how I'll start eating again at the end of this, honestly. I'm scared... I know that when my body gets food into it all of the shit (literally?) or whatever will build up again and I'll gain some weight back. Not fat, just weight. But thats a terrifying thought. I don't want that. I am enjoying this empty feeling.

Lol what even is this post about? I don't know. I'm just tired and have a slight headache but that's okay because I still feel good.

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[Tip] Craving candy? (And you're a fan of licorice?)
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 95 | 15.9 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 20 00:07:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4flzom/craving_candy_and_youre_a_fan_of_licorice/
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So I always have cravings. I'm always craving insanely extravagant, rich, over- the- top foods that I would never eat if given the opportunity (or couldn't eat because lactose intolerance.)

For the past several weeks I've had a burning craving for all gummy candies- gummy bears, sour gummy worms, jellybeans, sour belts, jujubes, [those gummy berries things](https://munchpak.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/940x587/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/h/a/haribo-berries.jpg), and, of course, black licorice. I fucking LOVE black licorice. I've loved it ever since I was a kid. Partially a sentimental thing- my dad and grandpa both love black licorice and I would get it as a treat if I was good. My mom loves gummy bears and gummy worms, too.

Anyway, I was seriously fighting the urge to buy a fuckload gummy candy and binge on it until I hated myself when I realized something- I don't have to. I remembered when I was at the store getting toothpaste several months ago I saw an [Anise- flavored toothpaste](http://www.swansonvitamins.com/natures-gate-creme-de-anise-toothpaste-6-oz-paste). Anise tastes like black licorice. So I found the toothpaste and bought a tube.

Oh. My. God. It's like I'm brushing my teeth with Good&Plenty. It's fucking AMAZING!!!!! So twice a day I feel like I'm indulging in decadent licorice candy when really all I'm doing is brushing my teeth. It's really helped my candy cravings, and best of all, it's zero calories so there's no guilt involved.

So if you're struggling with the urge to binge on gummy candy and like the taste of licorice, I highly recommend this. It's helped me so much.

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[Rant/Rave] NSV? Passover Brisket
/u/sorry_ari
Created: Tue Apr 19 23:16:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4flu24/nsv_passover_brisket/
---
I have upped my intake recently because my weight has evened out to a point where I don't feel trapped anymore. But I feel like I can't post in other weight-loss subs because my brain is still disordered, and I'm also paranoid they'd look at my post history and boot me.

My Jewish housemate and I are hosting a Passover seder, and for dinner I picked up my first ever brisket. I don't buy a lot of red meat, mostly because it's expensive (this was $45 ughh), but we are feeding 10 tomorrow. I've never made a brisket before but I love cooking and it doesn't seem too tough. It's gonna slow roast it in the oven at a low temp while I'm at work. The thing is, I picked up the brisket from the butcher, and it came all wrapped up, 5.5 lbs. I was TRIPPIN. I kept holding it in my arms, and putting it up to my stomach while in the checkout line. It was the size of a newborn. A mixture of fat and muscle. I couldn't get over how big it was. I couldn't stop thinking about how I've lost two brisket's worth of weight over the last few seasons. The progress feels so slow and frustrating sometimes, but I just put faith in CICO, and it's not until moments like these that I come face to face with some sort of surreal payoff. I'm interested in shedding one to two more briskets. I know I can do it!

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[Discussion] Anyone have an SO who also has an ED? How do you deal?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 19 20:19:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fl5o3/anyone_have_an_so_who_also_has_an_ed_how_do_you/
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[deleted]

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[Help] playing mind games with myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 19 20:19:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fl5lg/playing_mind_games_with_myself/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] Most disgusting thing I've ever done
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 20:05:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fl3eu/most_disgusting_thing_ive_ever_done/
---
I left a bit of soy milk in the bowl that I had cereal from like two days ago by my bed and I had forgotten about it until just now. I've been smelling the spoiled milk to keep from feeling hungry/wanting to eat. I don't recommend it as I'm actually thoroughly disgusted but I suppose you could smell the inside of a trash can to put you off food if that works for you.

Don't intentionally spoil milk to do this, that's just a waste. I mean, unless you were going to binge drink the whole gallon then I suppose this would be more productive?

Also, this is a sign that I need to clean my room ha

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[Help] How to get rid of bloating before prom?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 20:01:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fl2sx/how_to_get_rid_of_bloating_before_prom/
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Hey everyone!

Prom is about a week and a half away, and I am super bloated because of a binge last weekend and my period this week, *sigh*. Any ideas on how to reduce bloating before a big event? I'm planning on a 36 hour water fast.

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[Help] Stupid, freaked out question (in comments)
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | 95.7 | 17.43 | -22 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 18:25:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fkoeq/stupid_freaked_out_question_in_comments/
---
http://imgur.com/(null)

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[Thinspo] My favourite thinspo right now: Rachel, from the youtube channel Rachel&Jun!
/u/NaturalBlonde91 [5'6|CW:143|GW:125|UGW:120|BMI:23.05 |-33 |Female]
Created: Tue Apr 19 15:18:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fju3d/my_favourite_thinspo_right_now_rachel_from_the/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cD276AabQ1w

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[Rant/Rave] I don't know how much I weigh anymore
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 113| 21.41| F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 14:48:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fjowy/i_dont_know_how_much_i_weigh_anymore/
---
This morning I went to go weigh myself. It had been a while. As context, I live in a converted garage with my boyfriend so the floor is all concrete and broken linoleum tiles. We covered everything in rugs. It's hard to find a space that's level enough to set my scale down.

Today, instead of my usual spot by the closet I just pulled up a rug and found a spot. The scale said 118. WHAT?! How did I gain 5 freakin' pounds??

So I found another spot: 112? Um.. What? Another spot: 114. My spot by the closet: 116.

Oh no.

You have no idea the terror I feel right now. I have no idea how much I weigh. I was loving the fact, telling everyone the FACT, that I had lost 18 pounds (I told everyone else 10). But now, who knows what I lost.

I haven't eaten anything besides an apple and a Kind bar because now I feel more than ever that I need to restrict restrict restrict. If my scale is gonna lie to me, I might as well stop using it and judge my weight based on inches and bones.

Sorry for the rant (and lack of flair) but I just needed to scream a little. This is so frustrating. I feel like any hard work I did wasn't real. I feel like I should just give up and get fat and look as big as I feel.

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[Discussion] Saw this on /r/fitness yesterday, thought I'd share
/u/vigil_morgenstein [5'4" | CW 122lbs | UGW 96lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 14:28:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fjlaj/saw_this_on_rfitness_yesterday_thought_id_share/
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https://np.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/4fc8ta/i_wrote_a_guide_to_help_you_manage_your_eating/

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[Rant/Rave] Revenge is a dish best served cold, dressing on the side
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 126.8lbs | 19.79 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 14:20:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fjjtz/revenge_is_a_dish_best_served_cold_dressing_on/
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So a few months ago now, my landlord came to fix a broken pipe, frozen and thawed through no fault of ours. He blamed us, though, as he blames all the problems with his shitty 100-year-old building on us. So he's a jerk to us, and has a cavalier attitude towards our stuff. Uses a half a roll of paper towel, leaves my scale on the dryer, where my shitty roommate naturally doesn't notice it and ruins the mechanism inside through gyration, leaving me without a scale.

I'm so poor I do restriction out of necessity. I absolutely cannot afford a $10 scale, even.

So, you wanna cause me stress like that, landlord? You wanna ask me if I'm smoking crack because I smoke weed and I'm skinny? You wanna speak french to me when there are no roommates around to translate and then laugh about what you said afterwards? You wanna keep being a really shitty person, who particularly impacted my eating disorder? Fine.

Maybe you should stop getting your mail sent to our house. This large envelope with a university name embossed on it that was couriered right to our door sure does look like something you want to deal with in a timely matter. Maybe you should have, I don't know, had it sent to your own fucking house! Or your sons's place *literally upstairs* where he lives for free and throws garbage down onto our garden and tries to hurt our cat.

But now it's going to get "lost" for a while. Because we're such fucking slobs, right landlord? Maybe you shouldn't trust people that you hold so much casual disdain for, who knows what could happen...

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[Discussion] DAE secretly love being sick?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Tue Apr 19 13:44:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fjdi3/dae_secretly_love_being_sick/
---
ok yeah, it sucks. but i have a sinus infection from hell and i can't taste or smell anything! so i barely want to eat at all bc i can't taste anything or crave anything. the bad thing is that i can barely breathe unless i bathe myself in vapo-rub, but this is fine

---

[Rant/Rave] So I decided to slightly up my intake
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Apr 19 13:31:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fjbb7/so_i_decided_to_slightly_up_my_intake/
---
You know, to avoid binges. I can say I failed after eating 8 slices of bread and four apples. Lol :(

Any other advices? I just got down to my LW after two weeks of binging and here I am, bread today and candy yesterday. Such a pig.

---

[Thinspo] some thinspo and some comics. here you go :)
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Tue Apr 19 13:08:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fj794/some_thinspo_and_some_comics_here_you_go/
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http://imgur.com/a/GZjkW

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[Other] a lil comic that's really cute and too relateable
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 19 13:07:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fj6z5/a_lil_comic_thats_really_cute_and_too_relateable/
---
http://i.imgur.com/OkONOSy.jpg

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[Help] can anyone tell me how to get a killer booty without massive muscle thighs?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Tue Apr 19 12:08:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fiwgk/can_anyone_tell_me_how_to_get_a_killer_booty/
---
i want a toned butt but i am TERRIFIED that if i do squats it'll give me those massive muscle thighs i see on instagram all the time. they gross me out. are there exercises that tone the butt and not the legs?

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[progress pic] I usually lurk, but I just had to make an account and post because today my BMI dropped below 16 for the first time! :D
/u/naarianna [5'10 | 114 | 15.95 | -12 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 12:03:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fivkw/progress_pic_i_usually_lurk_but_i_just_had_to/
---
http://i.imgur.com/f5540C2.jpg

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[Discussion] i love you guys.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Tue Apr 19 12:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fivf1/i_love_you_guys/
---
i'm on my period so excuse me for being all mushy. you're all so sweet and caring and i just wanna give you all big hugs. this is such a wonderful non judging community. :') i hope you have a good day today and you pet a really cute dog soon!!

---

[Rant/Rave] Preparing for a 2.5 day fast
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 |-12.4 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 11:30:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fiprt/preparing_for_a_25_day_fast/
---
So, I had some horrible past few days

Last week I managed to restrict quite good, and did a lot of workout, but then on saturday it all went shite.

So, my bf is moving in a new flat, and we spent the whole day cleaning it up (as it had been renovated) and I didn't eat anything as we had quite a big dinner the night before (800 cal, and also the only thing I ate on friday)

Now, after 8 hours of cleaning we were finished, and went to his mums restaurant. My bf is korean, so it was a korean/japanese restaurant and korean food is one of my great, great weaknesses (thus the 800cal korean dinner the night before)

It was.. way too much, and my mother had also made cake and left a piece for me at home, and idk, because i was already way over my goal I just..

Let's just say I binged that night so hard that I was in physical pain, and wanted to die

So of course, sunday I ate about 300 cal, and monday, which is usually my fasting day, I spent cleaning up my family's pantry over 4 hours, and felt really dizzy, so I had a dinner and a bit of fruit around 300 cal

Somehow tuesday is always hard for me restricting wise, probably because I have uni in the afternoon, and usually have breakfast because of the fast the day before..

Well, my lecture was canceled, and why ever, it triggered a massive binge today, and even though I tried to work a bit of it off it didn't really do anything, and I feel very shite and horrible, as my last binge is not even that far back

So, I plan to start my fast tonight, and end it on friday around midday, as that is after my yoga class and before an event at the obervatory where I study, where I have to work until midnight

I usually get really dizzy if I fast longer than 30 hours, so if anyone has any tips on how to feel better, how to motivate one self and how to keep from fainting, I'd love to hear it!

---

[Discussion] anyone else have some tiny clothes they try on every week as motivation?
/u/my_body_my_rules [5'5 | 139 | 52.31 | 90ish lbs| female]
Created: Tue Apr 19 11:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fio35/anyone_else_have_some_tiny_clothes_they_try_on/
---
i have a tiny little french corset that i scored at the thrift store. when i got it, i could fit it on my thigh.. now i can *almost* button it. Its very motivating for me.

---

[Goal] 582 calories and a ton of energy this week! Here's how I'm doing it
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 141 lbs | -10 | GW 115 | 22.76 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 10:54:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fijjp/582_calories_and_a_ton_of_energy_this_week_heres/
---
Alright so all this week I've been sticking to this meal plan and it's been giving me so much more energy. It's pretty egg-heavy and keto focused, just in case you're allergic or don't like eggs. I'm just gonna share what I've been putting into MFP:


Goal: 600 calories


Logged: 582


**Breakfast:**

*2 hard boiled eggs (whole)(140 cal)

*2 hard boiled egg (just the whites, I cut mine in half and popped out the yolks)(34 cal)


*Bolthouse Farms Blended Coffe Protein Plus Shake (1 serving which is half the container, though this is pretty carb heavy so I'll probably find a substitute soon) (190 cal)


*2 Flinstones gummy vitamins, and a potassium tablet


Notes: I already feel way more energetic than I did just restricting purely by calories. I'm a bit shaky probably from low electrolytes so I'll probably end up substituting the protein shake with low/no cal gatorade and more eggs or bacon.

**Lunch:**


*Emerald 100 cal pack Sriracha Cashews (100 calories and delicious!!)


*2 hard boiled egg whites (34 cal)


*Lipton Green Tea (Brewed)(0cal)


Notes: I spaced this out to one egg and cashews at 11AM and one egg and green tea at noon. Again, I don't feel hungry and I feel great


**Dinner**


*2 hard boiled egg whites (34 cal)

*2 slices Jones Dairy Farm Hickory Smoked Canadian Bacon

Total: 582 calories


By the end of the day, I feel satisfied and not too hungry. In total this gives you 60g protein, 22g fat, and 38g carbs (this will be fixed when I take out the shake in the morning). But yeah! That's my progress so far. And according to [this calculator](http://ratfactor.com/fat-loss-calculator), I'll be meeting my goal of losing 20 lbs in two months! Please take vitamins if you do this because low potassium is a real danger and drink lots of water! Stay safe, my friends. :)

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[Thinspo] Is there anything more motivating than looking at pictures of yourself at your highest weight?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 10:07:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fib46/is_there_anything_more_motivating_than_looking_at/
---
Not in my case. Holy shit, I was LARGE. I can't believe how big I was. I never want to let myself get anywhere NEAR that point ever, EVER again. I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I looked like that. So incredibly ashamed. And when I'm at my GW, I'll look back of pictures of myself at my current point and think the same thing.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Apr 19 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fia70/daily_food_diary_april_19_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] DAE overestimate their calorie intake?
/u/Nonsense_Addict [5'4" | 132.5lbs | 22.7 | -2.5lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Apr 19 09:40:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fi6dr/dae_overestimate_their_calorie_intake/
---
I often find myself writing down 10-50 more calories than what's written on the nutrition facts just to "be safe". Please tell me I'm not the only one.

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[Rant/Rave] weekend = crap; new week = hope!
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 09:16:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fi233/weekend_crap_new_week_hope/
---
So this past weekend was a complete bust, food wise. On the plus side I was 112-ish for the party and lots of people commented/complimented me. I got the evil eye from a few girls and a handful of dudes tried chatting me up. mmmmm vanity was pleased.

On the downside, as soon as I got to the party its like my brain shut off and I just *BIIINNGGEEEDDDD*. I can't even recount how much or what I ate, all I know is that I got super high off some weed brownies and ate until I was sick. The following day (sunday) I was still really baked so I continued bingeing. My husband convinced me to take Monday off from work so we could run errands, clean the house, and spend the day outside with babyman. I finally felt like I was back to normal so I managed to stop the bingeing and only eat around 1600 cals. Still more than I'd like but mentally I felt like I was in control again.

TMI; this morning I pooped forever. It was kind of amazing, lol. On Sunday I weighed myself, knowing that it'd be higher because of the drunk/stoned munchies binge. This morning after I poo'd I literally lost 3.5 lbs and I felt a million times better. Not quite back to 112.5 lbs, (I clocked in at 113lbs), but mentally I'm ok with it as it seems the 2-day bingefest didn't do any damage.

Sure the binge set me back, but as long as I don't hit 115lbs then I consider myself to still be on a downward trajectory. Its a new week, I'm surrounded by safe foods, and when we went grocery shopping I made sure to not buy any snack foods for myself.

I got this. 110lbs is within my reach.

oh and side tidbit; yesterday I was standing around in leggings and a sports bra watching babyman do his thing. My husband looked me up and down and said "damn, you're so tiny now, how much do you weigh? like 106lbs?". HA! I told him 115lbs (the weight I will tell people whenever they ask), but I was super stoked that he pegged me as less than what I currently weigh. :-D

---

[Discussion] Anyone else feeling hungrier if they count calories?
/u/UnderCoverPUA
Created: Tue Apr 19 08:46:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fhwrc/anyone_else_feeling_hungrier_if_they_count/
---
First post here. Basically the title.

Recently I realised that counting calories is making me eat unhealthy, in a way that, if I count calories I know it doesn't matter which foods I eat because I have counted the calories. Also, counting calories makes me think about calories all day which makes me hungrier and makes me binge (recovered from anorexia but I think it transitioned in Binging and restricting).

Today I have tried not counting calories and it's 5 P.M. and I still haven't eaten anything. Only 50 calories in my coffee from milk.

So, anyone here with a similar experience?

---

[Help] Involuntary vomiting while fasting? Help!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 08:41:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fhvzc/involuntary_vomiting_while_fasting_help/
---
So I'm approx 42 hours into my fast. I was planning on breaking my fast around the 48 hour mark. It's a coffee fast, so yesterday I had like 5-6 cups of coffee. I woke up not too long ago and made myself a cup of coffee and went outside to have a cigarette with it.

As soon as I lit up my cigarette and took a drag, I started feeling nauseated. My saliva got really thin (teary, watery, in excess) and I felt horribly uncomfortable. I thought I was going to throw up. So I put the cigarette out, went inside and headed to the sink. I spit out all the saliva in my mouth and gagged twice as though I was going to vomit. I didn't think I would vomit because I don't have any food in my system, but I gagged a third time and out came the 2 sips of coffee I've had. I gagged a few times after that but nothing came out.

Has anyone experienced this before? Any tips (for the present or future) or suggestions? I'd ideally not like to break my fast for at least another 6 hours. I feel pretty okay right now. I haven't tried another cigarette but I'm drinking my coffee and feel fine. Since I feel okay, I should just continue fasting for the next few hours, right?

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[Help] Very specific question, going out on a limb
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 08:41:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fhvxv/very_specific_question_going_out_on_a_limb/
---
Is anyone here from Germany? I'm looking to see if some form of ephedrine is sold over the counter there. Is there any website to figure this out? I'm looking to move over for good in January.

---

[progress pic] I usually just lurk, but I had to make an account and post because today my BMI dropped below 16 for the first time! :D
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 19 08:29:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fhu02/progress_pic_i_usually_just_lurk_but_i_had_to/
---
http://i.imgur.com/f5540C2.jpg

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[Help] [Advice] Getting back on track?
/u/KissMyDupa
Created: Tue Apr 19 08:04:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fhpqs/advice_getting_back_on_track/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A April 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Apr 19 06:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fh8j5/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_april_19_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Other] Not now, Reddit...
/u/kongjinho [5'3" | 147.9 | 26.2 | -9 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 05:26:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fh4gi/not_now_reddit/
---
http://i.imgur.com/B39EdVR.png

---

[Help] My muscles feel tired
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Tue Apr 19 04:48:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fh0il/my_muscles_feel_tired/
---
Like everything is just hard to do as if I'm carrying weights and the air turned to water. :/ Anyone know how I could fix this?

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[Goal] Jumping in again with a laxative/water fast
/u/bitten-and-bleeding [5"7 | CW 133 | GW 110]
Created: Tue Apr 19 04:03:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fgw3x/jumping_in_again_with_a_laxativewater_fast/
---
Just 24 hrs. I might come off the water fast with juice, then liquids, then go from there. My goal is to clean out my digestive system, completely. I'm taking a shit ton of laxative and drinking water like crazy.

To curb my IT'S-MORNING-MUST-EAT impulses, I'm "treating" myself to 140 cal kombucha tomorrow morning. I love kombucha, and it's good for you (ha, as if starving yourself is).

Please wish me luck, loves. I'm 12 lbs down and hoping, praying, that I can reach 120 soon...


<3 <3 <3

---

[Goal] I usually lurk, but today I had to post because after a miserable week of stomach flu, I finally reached my GW!!
/u/naariannaan [5'10" | 114 | 15.95 | -12 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 02:33:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fgntw/i_usually_lurk_but_today_i_had_to_post_because/
---
http://i.imgur.com/83maPTV.jpg

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[Discussion] Zero Clear
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 19 01:52:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fgk06/zero_clear/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Avoiding the temptation and writing about it instead.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Apr 19 01:26:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fghhj/avoiding_the_temptation_and_writing_about_it/
---
Here is a public journal entry to help anyone else who may be struggling as I am currently with wanting to binge and eat a "no-no" food.

She said she was going to make mac and cheese from scratch this week but i had no idea when. I dreaded the day knowing I wouldn't be able to allow myself any. After a long day of fasting and feeling proud I came home from class to find it. Just as I feared sitting on the counter. fresh from the over. home made mac and cheese. I thought back to the last time i binged on it. It didn't taste as good when i did eat it so why would it taste any different this time. My mom isn't that good of a cook. I just read an article about how to stop binges and one way was to be aware and to write about it until the feeling disapears. So here I am. I put the mac and cheese left overs in the fridge to deal with tomorrow. Maybe I will lie and say I ate some when I actually want to just throw away the leftovers so the temptation isn't in the house. Maybe I will let them remain and let them be eaten by everyone else even though then I feel suspicion will arise if i don't have any. I feel like my hands are tied. I just want to keep fasting. I don't deserve to eat. I have eaten so poorly lately especially on the weekends i have been plateaued at this new high for weeks now. I just want to get down to where I was. I wish i could lose 20lbs over night or in a week but it will take the rest of the quarter probably to get even close to undoing all the damage I have caused and to make any progress.

I saw a beautiful girl at the bus stop who convinced me I could be stronger. She was tall and slender. I don't normally find a lot of inspiration but i do admire delicate frames in women wishing I could be more like that and less manly looking. She wore a dress and a cropped coat and glasses. She smiled at me. I walked passed her and compared her elegant legs to my stubby many legs. Her bare below her dress. Mine stubby and hidden by jeans. I wish I could be her. I wish I could be pretty or attractive.

I thought about what I would or could be like all day. I fantasized about going home and eating something even though I would knew i wouldn't. Maybe i could try to fast and restrict and eat maintenance on weekends or stick to 1200 that might work to shed some pounds or move the scale. I feel like my life is on pause and I am slowly dying. Every day I live to be repulsed by myself is a day I am not enjoying being I am not thin or good enough. I want to be good enough so I can go back to having a life. I don't have hobbies or friends anymore because I cut them out to avoid food. I lost my passions. I don't have a job. I just have too much time now. Time to think about food and days to either starve or binge. It all seems so black and white.

I will sleep on the accomplishment that today I didn't eat and it has been over 48 hours. I will continue tomorrow and avoid food like the poison I perceive it to be. fasting is enlightenment. Food is poison I tell myself. I repeat it like a fucked up mantra. I feel fucked up. I just wish I didn't feel this way.

thanks to anyone who took the time to read or respond to this.
-P

---

[Rant/Rave] It takes a lot to offend me, bit here's a rant ladies. I don't usually post but thanks for reading :)
/u/cactuar44
Created: Tue Apr 19 01:24:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fgh8o/it_takes_a_lot_to_offend_me_bit_heres_a_rant/
---
So my stats were about 4'11 and 92lbs. It was pretty low. It didn't bother me but I decided to start lifting weights because I wated a hot ass, and more muscel. I was very strict with myself and I started to gain weight... which was so hard for me to take in. Not having a proven way to make sure it's not fat makes me panic. However, over time my weight creeped up.

So another issue I have is I am a dialysis patient and I do not pee at all. Literally. So on tonight I came in to dialysis for fluid removal, I weighed myself at 105lbs. I havn't seen it that high in a while. I feel awful.

Aaaaaaand then I overhear a housekeeper telling another housepkeeper about how I've gained a lot of weight. I wasnt sure I heard that at first... so I turned away. When I had to walk by again, I heard, "yeah, she's gained weight!" I told them they shouldn't be saying things like that to me behind my back. One of them said it was a compliment, as apparently I was way too skinny before!.

I got my bed ready for dialysis and felt like I was going to cry. I skipped the gym today because I felt really ill. With the excess water on me right now I just feel like a huge fat whale. I'm so incredibbly self concious, and very disapointed i myself.

Thank you reading. I apologise for formatting and spelling and possibly not making anysense. Dialysis can make you weat and tired and the drugs they gave me might not make this post make sense?

TL:DR purple monkey dish washer unproffesional hospital employees said I was gaining weigt waaaahhhhhh and my fee feea got hurt like a wee bahbee and I have to eat a whole lot less now

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[Rant/Rave] insomnia destroys my progress.
/u/chubbibunniii [5'8 | 169 | BMI ? | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 19 00:58:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fgepk/insomnia_destroys_my_progress/
---
Edit: I think I fixed my flair? Idk. Lmao.

Does anyone else experience anything like this?

I'll swear that I'm doing well. Staying within my calorie limit, exercising, or just fasting successfully. I'll then get tired towards the end of the day - yawning, groggy, the whole thing.

Then I get in bed and that all goes away. I still WANT to sleep and still feel kinda worn out, I just. Can't. And then I end up thinking myself into a ball of anxiety and binging on the most random things. Lmao. What is that?

The other day I had a PERFECT day. No food whatsoever. Just water. Went to bed, couldn't sleep. Ended up staying up until like 7AM with my depression going wild (sleep depravation makes me feel like absolute garbage) and then drove out to Steak 'n Shake and bought two full meals and ate them in an empty parking lot.

I've used melatonin, that doesn't work anymore. I regularly use diphenhydramine (allergy pills/sleep aids)... I become tolerant to that quickly and it also makes me groggy as shit/basically dead the next day. One time I took just one and fell asleep at 3AM... And woke up at 7PM the next day, late for work. yikes.

Ughhhh. It's almost 3AM where I am right now. I've had a good day. Only around 400 cal. Now I'm starving and I want to ignore it and sleep. I also wanted to get some decent sleep because I was planning on starting my first EC stack tomorrow and idk, I guess I just wanted to feel "refreshed" when I do it.

But... I'm getting to that anxious/panicky point where my brain starts saying "just get in the car. Steak 'n Shake is always open. You want fries. You want a burger. You want fifteen other things, too."

I swear to god that binge voice is nearly impossible for me to beat. :( sorry for the huge rant, y'all. Had to get this off my chest somehow. I swear if I could just sleep I'd be at my GW so much fucking faster.

---

[Rant/Rave] Too sore after workout to go to the kitchen...
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Tue Apr 19 00:31:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fgc1w/too_sore_after_workout_to_go_to_the_kitchen/
---
Haven't eaten in 22 hours (since yesterday lunch). Today I did my morning workout, took a shower, slumped on my chair here. When trying to stand up for some coffee/ smoothie/ maybe a full meal it hurt to strain my calves and butt and I can't even stand up properly.

Awesome.

Here's the workout for anyone wondering:

100 crunches

90 jumping jacks

80 lunges

70 squats

60 seconds running in place

50 second plank

40 jumping jacks

30 squats

20 high knee

10 push ups

---

[Discussion] Recovery shouldn't be a total waste, right?
/u/123Purrr
Created: Tue Apr 19 00:14:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fgac3/recovery_shouldnt_be_a_total_waste_right/
---
Two years ago I was swimming towards the deep end and got dragged out. At 5'8" and 119 pounds I was finally starting to feel comfortable in my body and was so close to getting to my gw... My life became a terrible mess from other things and my current SO made it his mission to rescue me...

Things got tough and I'm standing on the edge of this fucking pool **again**. I'm at 138 and giving up recovery. Atleast 4 days a week I'm surrounded by mirrors, men judging me, and alcoholic calories to help me make extra money. I'm so close to the water I really want to fall in. Part of me is ready to canon ball while the other is fighting... I can't ignore this thirst but I can't allow it to consume me again. Should I restrict the calorie counting or restrict the gym days... Do I find that special friend for cheaper coke or find a prescription happy doctor so I don't have to rely on getting drunk... To eat once a day with my SO or not eat any meals at all and just snack on nuts and veggies...

The man I'm with I plan to stay with. I can't allow this swim to replace him the way it's replaced other lovers. I'm terrified. I've been jumping in and out of this pool for as long as I can remember. I really don't know what to do... The only thing I'm sure about is tomorrow. When he wakes me up to say goodbye I'll have 5 hours before I'm needed at the club. That's plenty of time to hit the gym.

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[Thinspo] [TW] Erm..... so does anyone have thinspo that involves dating?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 18 23:54:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fg8bf/tw_erm_so_does_anyone_have_thinspo_that_involves/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] Just ate about 800 kcal in sweets
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Mon Apr 18 22:47:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fg0rv/just_ate_about_800_kcal_in_sweets/
---
Luckily, I know that I ate only about 160 cal in beef, and couldn't possibly have eaten more than... 60 cal in sauce and 50 cal in veggies. Plus about 393 cal in unplanned but greatly appreciated beer.

So even with about 800 kcal in hostess snack cakes, I'm still only at about 1500 kcal for the say, which should be about 600 kcal under my bmr.

Also, wow. Once I did the math, those snacks were way less easy to justify. If I hadn't been at a friend's house and had to drive home, I probably would only have had the beer (although I would have drank about 1.75 times as much if it). But at least that is the last if the binge food in my house. I think as long as I don't but any more beer, wine, or sweet crap, I should be able to get through the rest if the week without another slip up....

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[Other] I've been feeling pretty low lately. Found an old poem I had written early in my ED. It resonated with me today.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 20:14:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fffaz/ive_been_feeling_pretty_low_lately_found_an_old/
---
It starts like it always does:

tilt your head like this, frown with your mouth and skin

realize: You haven’t really seen yourself in awhile.



It starts like it always does:

remove each layer carefully,

observe yourself as you’re covered

by less and less and

you can really see who you are


It starts like it always does:

Inhale deeply, exhale.

watch as the bones glide smoothly under

paper-thin skin.

Stretch yourself: this way and that,

make note of the best view,

and the worst.

Be gentle; Be cruel:

count each rib carefully,

now dig into your flesh with rough nails

hate yourself. love yourself

notice that this ritual is all you have

and it makes you too happy.

It ends the same as always:

drowned first with emotion, then

carefully put yourself back into place.

smile pretty. Say you like yourself.

lie.

---

[Rant/Rave] Feel like a complete animal, how do I get myself out of this hole?!
/u/d0ntseeme [5'7" | fat | fat | +who knows how much | Female]
Created: Mon Apr 18 20:04:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ffdnz/feel_like_a_complete_animal_how_do_i_get_myself/
---
Long time lurker, first time poster (on a new account, friends follow my main).

I feel so disgusting. My binge eating has totally got out of control and it's not only affecting me, but it's affecting my relationship and my wallet (lol). I've actually sat and eaten four take outs in a row. FOUR. TAKE OUTS. That's probably over 3000kcal per take out and that's being generous and not even counting the chocolate and other shit I've been piling into my mouth.

Three weeks of restriction and working out religiously let to a loss of 10lbs and I felt so good but now I just go piss it all away and I'm now 6lbs HEAVIER than what I was when I started all this crap. How is that even possible. Looking at pictures of myself this time last year I was so skinny and so perfect compared to now (even though I felt like a fatass and still had so much to go) and now I just hate myself and my body.

Do I just cut down dramatically? Like 500kcal a day + a work out? Just to kick start back on track? I'm going to try fasting for a couple of days a week and see how that gets me. Live off rabbit food and liquids. But I just can't help but feel I'm always one damn click away from shovelling junk into my body. I really don't want to get into the binge/purge cycle but, I don't know where my head is at right now.

I'm really sorry to just unload on all of you lovely people like this and my issues are nowhere near as complicated as any one else's, it's purely down to my own shitty self control and greed.

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[Rant/Rave] Swoony swimmy standups
/u/stealgravity [5'5.5 | 128lbs (BMI 21) | -14.2lbs]
Created: Mon Apr 18 19:56:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ffc9u/swoony_swimmy_standups/
---
I had to sit on a seriously gross grocery store floor today while I caught my bearings. Every time I stood up this afternoon I was just ready to fall right back over, got crazy hot (probably because I was wearing a sweater). I'm guessing it could be some kind of iron deficiency but I ate like two protein bars right before I left.

I dunno. Anybody with a case of the swimmy stand ups have any luck with iron. I've got some and it's 150% daily value which sounds like too much and I'm mostly worried I'll never poop again and when I do it'll be a black rock of sadness. Now I'll probably phone up a pharmacist about it I was just wondering if anybody had any luck getting rid of their swooning or whatever. This is not the kind of delicate I was shooting for.

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[Other] (Other) My progress picture. 150 pounds to 113. Only 8 pounds to my goal weight!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 18 19:34:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ff8u9/other_my_progress_picture_150_pounds_to_113_only/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/0c277ec018be4a56af0e3a81a7c14fa9?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=7299d4c7795b6507d0420d50547e0b63

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[Help] Binged - 800 calories for lunch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 18 19:19:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ff6fp/binged_800_calories_for_lunch/
---
[deleted]

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[Thinspo] HELLO 99.7
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 19:07:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ff4lm/hello_997/
---
http://i.imgur.com/QUGdprt.jpg

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[Discussion] I fucking did it eat my shit
/u/ReclaimingFeminity [5'6" | CW 179/GW 120 | 29.08 | -26 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 19:02:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ff3tu/i_fucking_did_it_eat_my_shit/
---
To give a little bit of background: I am pretty sure I have EDNOS, and I tend to yo-yo between heavy duty restricting and binge eating. I do have myself on a diet that gives me enough calories for my body (1200 a day) but I also limit my sugars to a very low level (~24g a day).

I was at a child's birthday party a little bit ago, which means huge sugar fest, right?
Not for me! I was able to resist temptation and refuse the cake.
I feel so proud for being able to beat the binge.

---

[Help] What's the most calorie-intensive exercise?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 18:44:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ff0vt/whats_the_most_calorieintensive_exercise/
---
I am a time-deprived student with a 4.0 GPA to maintain and 5 IB classes to excel in. I know a lot of us here at /r/proED are high achievers, and we may feel like the time we spend exercising isn't worth it for the number of calories burned if we could use that time to study. What exercise burns the most calories per minute?

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[Discussion] Anxiety about wasting food?
/u/LetHerEatCake [5'1"|109.5|21.61|-15.5|F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 17:19:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4feo2s/anxiety_about_wasting_food/
---
I buy healthy food, most of which is perishable and expensive, and then I feel anxiety about letting it go to waste. I doesn't just bother me because of the money I'd be throwing away, but also because when I was a teenager, I bought separate food from my family that was "safe" for me to eat, and I'd get really upset if someone else took any of it. It made me feel like I had to hoard my food.

Because I'm afraid to waste "safe" food, I feel like it makes me eat more than I want to. I just got back from the store and I have a few meals planned now, but I know there's no way I'll be able to finish them before they go bad.

Does anyone else have this issue and have a way around it?

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[Rant/Rave] I need to break my food addiction
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 62.2kg | 22.8 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 16:58:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fekwc/i_need_to_break_my_food_addiction/
---
It's not just about weight any more. I can't trust how I think I look. Can't weigh myself accurately. Every time I get hungry my brain goes 'you look fine, you don't want to spend your whole life obsessed with weight loss anyway, just try and stay under your calorie target today lol' and I end up binging and purging all evening, as always.

Last night I binged and I wasn't even that hungry. I really tried not to. Time goes so slowly without eating or working, and it seems pointless. But I always, always, always regret it afterwards. I am a food addict. I need to quit. I quit smoking (was hard), I quit stimulants (way harder), I quit sugar (for a while). I can quit binging, right? I don't want to spend yet another evening browsing the kitchen, wondering how I can combine flour and soy sauce into something semi-palatable. I don't want to see my stomach protrude like I'm pregnant, even after purging. I don't want to feel like binging is inevitable. I don't want to feel like I'll never stop.

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[Discussion] Favorite Foods?
/u/lowgravities
Created: Mon Apr 18 16:01:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4febin/favorite_foods/
---
I don't necessarily mean taste wise, but what do you eat all the time because it fits your calories / safe foods / etc?

[Mine would be plain oatmeal, egg whites, and greek yoghurt]

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[Thinspo] Ignore my horrible outfit/Progress photo?
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 15:35:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fe78h/ignore_my_horrible_outfitprogress_photo/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/93dc961f421b427a873a480b72b0cbb2?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=10577194374f50b9d695071e3fcc4f9e

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[Discussion] Just saw this on r/fitness - interesting read on how to stop over eating
/u/vigil_morgenstein [5'4" | CW 122lbs | UGW 96lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 15:23:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fe59b/just_saw_this_on_rfitness_interesting_read_on_how/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/4fc8ta/i_wrote_a_guide_to_help_you_manage_your_eating/

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[Rant/Rave] I'm already technically 24 hours into my fast.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 15:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fe3u7/im_already_technically_24_hours_into_my_fast/
---
The last time I ate was yesterday on my trip at around 4pm east coast time, which is 1pm west coast time (where I live). It's just past 2pm right now. I'm thinking I'll break my fast tomorrow at around 1pm to make it a full 48 hour fast. This has been easy. I'm excited to keep fasting because I haven't fasted for more than 36 hours in years.

Usually, fasting after eating normally for a few days is really difficult for me. But today has been different. I decided to wear my "skinny shorts" since it's getting too hot to keep wearing skinny jeans. I expected them to be tight around my hips but they're actually really lose and hang off my hips! It's an amazing feeling. Usually they don't give me a loose, hanging off my hips feeling until I'm like 5 pounds lighter than I currently am. And considering I ate so much this weekend, it's even more of a surprise as to how nicely they fit.

I'm not terribly hungry today. My mood has been pretty good as well. My last class of the day starts soon and I can't wait to get home to just drink coffee and relax. I'm also excited to try on more of my "skinny clothes" when I get home. This is such great motivation.

I hope you're all having a lovely day xo

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[Rant/Rave] Hi, my name is failure
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Apr 18 14:14:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fdt6i/hi_my_name_is_failure/
---
I had a plan for a day with actually quite a lot of food for 400 cals. I ate that, then decided it was time for candy and ate like 50 pieces of that. Then ate a nice big slice of bread with guacamole. Thanks, this is not the way to get perfect.

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[Help] How do you make your coffee?
/u/mirandaxo [5'6" | CW 55 kgs | GW 40kgs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 14:05:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fdri1/how_do_you_make_your_coffee/
---
I find black coffee really hard to drink, but I love the after-effects (feeling awake, keeping regular). What sort of coffee do you use and how do you make it more palatable?

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[Rant/Rave] So there is a party coming up next month...
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 13:54:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fdpjt/so_there_is_a_party_coming_up_next_month/
---
I will see a load of old friends have't seen for months (or even years). It is a chance to catch up, and meet new people.

And I want to be the thinnest I have ever been.

Not just "looks great in that dress" thin. But "holy shit is she OK" thin.

And I don't know why.

I've achieved nothing else in my life. My friends all have well paid jobs in London and here I am in a shitty Northen city still studying for my PhD I'll likely never finish. I'm in insane debt. I'm medicated up to my eyeballs. I have no social life.

I guess all I can be is thinner and thinner and one day gone.

---

[Discussion] Ready for anti-recovery
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Mon Apr 18 13:29:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fdkwr/ready_for_antirecovery/
---
Hey all, it's been a while.

As I posted about previously, over a month ago I managed to get myself hospitalized for severe dehydration after not eating for three days. This prompted me being "heavily encouraged" (I'm 29 and can't be forced, but my mom made me do it for all intents and purpose) pursue recovery again. I did - and hated it like the first time. I did grudgingly eat "well" for nearly a month. I had a kitchen fire while frying some crap on a binge (cheese sticks I think) and got some really bad burns on my legs in the process three weeks ago. The doctor at the hospital told me I had to have a high-calorie, high-protein diet to help heal the burns so I very, very grudgingly did it. Put on a bunch of weight. I kept it up until a week ago, when at a follow-up they said to come back in a week's time for what should be the final time (I had been previously going in 2-3 times a week for checks). Then I just... didn't eat. Ignored my grumbling stomach, then it finally stopped. I've barely slept either. My mom came to town this weekend and fed me "real" food but I got indigestion.

Most importantly, I've kicked the alcohol habit. I was on oxycodone for several weeks and couldn't drink because of it. The first night off it, I got hammered. It wasn't fun like before and I felt awful the next day. I'm not even inclined to do it again. That's huge for me though. Even though I drink things like vodka and diet soda, my tolerance is so high I was getting a bunch of calories from the alcohol alone. Goodbye alcohol.

Anyway, I've been in a weird place since last week. I've managed to avoid eating much even with my mom in town for the weekend. I seem to have started a cycle of eat a huge meal (1500+ cals) and then not eat for 2-3 days. I think I'm okay with this. Sorry for the strange rant. It just feels like where I belong to be back. If I am. I hope I am.

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[Rant/Rave] seriously the longest plateau ever oh my god
/u/crapbeg
Created: Mon Apr 18 12:37:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fdbgl/seriously_the_longest_plateau_ever_oh_my_god/
---
119 lbs. Literally every fucking time I step on the scale it's at 119 lbs. For the past 2 weeks. I really don't think I can weight that much considering I was at 115 lbs 2 weeks ago, and then suddenly the scale decided that it hated me and wanted to make my life miserable. I'm on my second day of keto, have been very careful to count accurately over the last few weeks so I'm hoping that it'll be ok soon.

(p.s. how long after starting keto did it take for people to see the scale go down?)

edit: the scale might be fucking up - i'm not sure - but at one point this morning, i was at 116 which is encouraging (then it went back up to 118, then 119 so idk what's going on there)

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Just got my first scale
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 18 12:12:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fd6z2/just_got_my_first_scale/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Is there any food you wont eat because of your ED?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 11:52:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fd3fh/is_there_any_food_you_wont_eat_because_of_your_ed/
---
what is it and why?

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[Tip] Since it's brought up from time to time, I saw this article and thought I'd share: Top 5 Strains to Curb Appetite
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 118.0 | 20.65 | 107 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 11:30:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fczkx/since_its_brought_up_from_time_to_time_i_saw_this/
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http://www.ladybud.com/2015/05/12/lady-health-top-5-strains-to-curb-appetite/

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[Rant/Rave] Bad weekend and stressing about the wedding dress size I ordered now...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 18 10:50:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fcsdj/bad_weekend_and_stressing_about_the_wedding_dress/
---
[deleted]

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[Thinspo] My thinspo is to BE thinspo.
/u/Nonsense_Addict [5'4" | 132.5lbs | 22.7 | -2.5lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Apr 18 10:33:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fcpez/my_thinspo_is_to_be_thinspo/
---
While looking at pictures of skinny girls, I like to imagine what it's like to be them. I imagine the feeling of knowing that girls all around the world are looking at *their* pictures, hoping to someday look like them.

Self-centered as it may be, I want to be *that* girl. Not just in regards to appearance. I want the feeling of being an inspiration to others. I want to look up "#goals" and see *my* photo.

---

[Intro] New here, some background
/u/Zaraldri [5'6" | 225 | 37.88 | -15 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 10:18:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fcmrc/new_here_some_background/
---
So the primary issue that I've had over the last several years has been binge eating and overeating in general. I was in an abusive marriage and he didn't like "fat girls" (anyone over 120 lbs) so I would eat almost constantly, partially as a way to get him to stop touching me, and partially as a way to delay going home. Now that I'm out of that relationship and married again, I'm trying to break the addiciton/binging. My current husband was overweight when we met, and he dropped a lot of weight through exercise and strict control over his diet. He wants me to lose weight so that I can be healthy and because he knows that I'm not happy with how I look. So I tried to diet, and every time, I start to binge again after a few weeks and completly give up because I feel like I have lost all of my progress. This time around I gave up on the healthy diet and just went to straight slim fast shakes and I am able to stay on those for much longer, and when I do slip up and binge again, it doesn't set me back so far. My husband has remarked on my weight loss progress, as well as some of my friends, so I know what I'm doing is working. I don't want to "recover" and start eating "correctly" until I'm down to my goal weight, but I do want to try to stop the binge eating. Anyway, not looking for advice in this post, as I asked the question in a different one, but I did want to introduce myself.

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[Other] He told me to keep going if it wasn't enough
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 18 10:13:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fclvh/he_told_me_to_keep_going_if_it_wasnt_enough/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] Reached the lowest weight I've ever been in my adulthood.
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 10:05:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fcke5/reached_the_lowest_weight_ive_ever_been_in_my/
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As in, I'm now lighter than I was in middle school (114lbs). 114 pounds is the earliest weight I remember looking at the scale and seeing, and this morning I was 112.

I don't know how to feel. I'm just excited to get to 105, and maybe even 100.

It certainly felt like an outer body experience, however. Anyone experience anything similar? Not satisfaction, or dissatisfaction. Just a separation from myself that's hard to describe.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 18 10:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fck1f/daily_food_diary_april_18_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Tip] six steps to stop a food binge :)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 09:53:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fcid9/six_steps_to_stop_a_food_binge/
---
http://youcaneathealthytoo.com/how-to-stop-binge/

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[Rant/Rave] Dreading my birthday in 2 weeks
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 102.9 lb | 19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 09:52:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fci7c/dreading_my_birthday_in_2_weeks/
---
Why why why why why do birthdays always revolve around food? I've already made breakfast plans (Waffle House. One waffle = 410 (reportedly... who can trust reported calorie counts though). If I half it I might be okay) because I have an all-day event, but thankfully I think I'll be able to skip lunch (pizza... no ty).... I'm just super worried about people baking for me because that seems to be the custom (especially since I love to bake for my friends on their birthdays, I'm sure many will try to return the favor). I wish I could just be normal for one day. Anyone have any tips for handling birthdays? I'm currently at a toss-up between trying my best to restrict, chewing and spitting or B/P'ing any food presents I get, or just fasting a few days before and after.

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[Rant/Rave] I have zero self control
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 18 09:46:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fch1j/i_have_zero_self_control/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] New week, new goals
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 09:38:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fcfic/new_week_new_goals/
---
I'm finally feeling pretty good this week and have total freedom with my time so I've made myself a few rules.

1: walk 5 miles a day. I can't run, knees won't allow it, so excessive walking will do.

2: take a hot yoga class every day. I got a two-week pass to a studio so between that and the deal at my current studio I can practice daily for a while!

3: don't eat more than I burn. I'm always iffy on eating back exercise calories so this week I'm going to set my restriction to however much MFP says I burned. The more I work out, the more I am allowed to eat.

4: add back in squats. Since I've been out of the gym my butt has deflated like last month's birthday balloon and it is hella pathetic. Again with the knee trouble, but in sets of ten throughout the day it can't be hard to hit 50-100 squats per diem.

I have 11 more pounds to lose and this shit is coming off pronto. Wish me luck, lovelies.

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[Rant/Rave] Purged an Oreo
/u/Nonsense_Addict [5'4" | 132.5lbs | 22.7 | -2.5lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Apr 18 09:35:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fcf0i/purged_an_oreo/
---
For some reason, I like to eat or drink something to wash out my morning ass mouth before the first smoke of the day. I didn't want to wait for tea, or take the time to cut up vegetables, so I grabbed an Oreo.

I inhaled it like a fat man, then proceeded to have my morning cigarette. During the entire length of my smoke, I couldn't stop thinking about those 55 calories. That could have been a full lunch of shirataki noodles and vegetables! But instead, it was one lousy cookie.

After my smoke, I immediately went to purge. I've never purged after something so minimal, but I'm glad I did. It shows that I'm becoming stronger.

And, to be honest, it was nice tasting it as it came back up. It's like I had the flavour experience of two Oreos with the calories of none. Ha!

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[Rant/Rave] Totally binged. And I wasn't even hungry
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Mon Apr 18 09:33:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fcenf/totally_binged_and_i_wasnt_even_hungry/
---
Yesterday was supposed to be my cheat day. And it was going so well, but in the opposite way. I hadn't eaten anything all day. Just water. And then everything started going to shit. My depression, my selfharming. Its all fucked. So I ended up at the store for bandaged. Well, they sell groceries too. Why not?

Last night I ate:

1 lb of potato salad

Fried chicken - 2 drums, 2 breasts, one wing, and the skin off another breast and wing

1 two pack of ding dongs

1 two pack of twinkies

And probably about 2/3 of a bottle of wine

I feel so fat and bloated today. I wasn't even hungry yesterday. I could have easily have just gone to bed and not ate anything. Maybe just the wine. But no. My brain kept saying "the food will make you feel better. We promise. Just keep eating and you'll feel better".

I didn't even enjoy the ding dongs and the twinkies as I was already so full I had to force myself to eat them. The twinkies didn't even taste good.

What's wrong with me?

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[Discussion] I either binge or hyper control what I eat
/u/Zaraldri [5'6" | 225 | 37.88 | -15 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 08:38:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fc4vp/i_either_binge_or_hyper_control_what_i_eat/
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So I tend to go through cycles where I binge eat, fast food, ice cream, milkshakes, etc, for about a week, and then I go into hyper control mode for a week or so, where I feel like the only way I can control what I eat is by only drinking meal replacement shakes (like maybe 600 calories a day); if I give myself any wiggle room on what I can eat, I end up binging all over again. Anyone have any advice on how to extend my periods of hyper control and reducing the binge eating?

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[Thinspo] It's Monday - don't cheat this week, and keep your goals in mind :)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 07:51:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fbx4g/its_monday_dont_cheat_this_week_and_keep_your/
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http://imgur.com/1kULd0F

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[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! April 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 18 06:03:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fbi90/weekly_stats_update_april_18_2016/
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This is the weekly status thread for April 18, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Rant/Rave] This weekend was a binge fest.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 04:23:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fb78q/this_weekend_was_a_binge_fest/
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And my fitbit was lost or stolen. So now I'm fat, trackerless, & out 150 bucks. I hope it turns up but it's freaking me out that I'm going to turn into a huge ball of fat overnight :/ i kinda already have. This just sucks! Sorry my rant is over for now haha. Maybe.

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[Rant/Rave] Just got back from the doctor
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Apr 18 04:23:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fb76b/just_got_back_from_the_doctor/
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Because I wanted to get blood tests done on anemia and all that jazz.

As soon as I come in "do you want to lose more weight?"

Sigh, can you just listen to me for one second pls lady thank you. I didn't come here for my weight thank you very much.

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Just got back from
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 18 04:21:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fb713/just_got_back_from/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] Restaurant chef/prep cook/pastry/baker here! Ask me questions!
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 02:07:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fauix/restaurant_chefprep_cookpastrybaker_here_ask_me/
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Two posts at a time without mobile! Watch out world!
Person who cooks food for a living would like you to ask questions about how to do stuff, how food science works, or need recipe suggestions or tweaks to make healthier. Being a Restricter Type EDNOS person makes things very interesting once in a while for some weird behavior. :)

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[Rant/Rave] Chef here, just came from from a double shift. I seem to have eaten so little and get have so much anxiety
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 18 01:47:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4faslb/chef_here_just_came_from_from_a_double_shift_i/
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Sorry I'm always on mobile! No flair:(
So I'm a chef at a fine dining restaurant, and have been a baker and prep cook before too. I know how to make bomb ass food, and really great pastries (scones, chocolate espresso shortbread cookies rolled in crushed hazelnuts, chocolate mousse sort of shit).
Today I worked on my feet, breaking in new shoes, from 7:45am to 11:45pm, with a 30 min break between switching from the pizza to grill stations. I like to lay down on the chairs on the private dining room since it wasn't occupied. I ate two tacos, three bites of chicken, one bite of someone's special pasta and one bite of pizza, one fry, one piece of bread pudding. Most people have two or three *meals* here, and I used to eat like that too with many snacks. I can't even imagine that now.
There were two rushes, lunch and dinner, and eat time for my ass kicked, moving non stop and all I can think of is it not being active enough and that I wouldn't work off the food I ate. My Fitbit told me I did 16k steps at work, which is so much compared to my off days. I want to start working more so I can avoid being at home and eating and being inactive here! Workaholic alert!

Tldr; worked a double and ate very little, still so much anxiety over what I did eat. Super stoned thoughts on work and ED thoughts.

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[Rant/Rave] finally under 140lbs!!
/u/my_body_my_rules [5'5 | 139 | 52.31 | 90ish lbs| female]
Created: Mon Apr 18 01:14:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fap8x/finally_under_140lbs/
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Cutting back and junk food, bread, soda, and other crap.. and going to the gym is really paying off. I am finally under 140lbs! I'm now 139.8 LOL. Yay progress!!

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[Help] What are the signs of your period stopping?
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Mon Apr 18 00:59:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fanoo/what_are_the_signs_of_your_period_stopping/
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Just wondering, you know, for a friend. :P

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[Help] How honest can I be with my therapist?
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 132 lbs | 23.2 | -108 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 23:55:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fah4i/how_honest_can_i_be_with_my_therapist/
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I'm going to therapy for my eating disorder for the first time soon. I was bulimic for three years two years ago, but I never sought treatment.

I've relapsed since the new year, but it's not bulimia this time it's restricting and serious anxiety over food. I just don't even want to eat because it's too stressful. I want to be honest because I want to figure out why I'm doing this, but I don't know what they can do to me. My impression since I've been here is that they'll only commit you if you're seriously underweight? I'm obviously not but I worry if there is anything else. I'm not really ready to stop.

Thanks in advance, I'm so happy there's this support community here, helps beyond words. :)

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[Discussion] If you chew and spit, do you still absorb calories?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 22:38:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fa8i5/if_you_chew_and_spit_do_you_still_absorb_calories/
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https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fa8i5/if_you_chew_and_spit_do_you_still_absorb_calories/

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[Rant/Rave] I want to go home but I'm scared to go home
/u/ThroeAwaymeron [5'2" | 121.6 | 23.04 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 21:46:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fa221/i_want_to_go_home_but_im_scared_to_go_home/
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Rant ahoy. I'm whiny today. I'm in grad school far from home and lately all that makes me happy is that at least my weight is going down. I enjoy my studies and the job I'm preparing for is still one I really want, but it's the end of the semester and I'm about as burned out as you get. But that's normal stuff. Less normal, I'm also nearly completely socially isolated outside of classes; I literally do not have any friends or acquaintances so mood crashes are kind of an extra bummer, no support, blah blah blah.

So yeah finally losing weight again is such a nice relief from feeling like I can't get anything else right. Nonetheless I'm ready to go home, but it's going to be a lot harder not to eat at home. I feel conflicted about it. I feel like an asshole for *dreading* my awesome sister who I miss so much baking delicious treats. Dreading my parents making dinner even though I also miss that so, so much right now. Dreading just having food, snacks around. Having a kitchen (I'm in a dorm now). Things that I should be grateful for.

I don't know what the point of this is, just moody I guess.

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[Tip] Truvia Simple Syrup
/u/Pumpkabooo [5'5" | 106.5 | 17.72 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 21:36:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4fa0s1/truvia_simple_syrup/
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My sweet cravings have been at an all time high lately and it's taking everything in me not to binge on calorie-loaded desserts. So today I whipped up a quick little batch of simple syrup (literally sugar water) using 0 cal sweetener instead of regular sugar -- 1/2 cup hot water, 3 & 1/2 Tbsp Truvia. I stirred it up and had a spoonful and oof! Talk about sweet! I think that's going to be my sweet-clencher in the future, just take a spoonful of that simple syrup. 0 calories and sweeter than candy. I thought I'd mention it in case it could help someone else facing the same sugary cravings. :)

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[Discussion] Does anyone else do this despite knowing they might be "forced" into treatment once they reach their UGW?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 21:28:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f9zsg/does_anyone_else_do_this_despite_knowing_they/
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My UGW is 85. My lowest weight was 90-92 and that's the weight range I reached when my anorexia first developed when I was 14/when it was at its worst. I've had 3 really bad relapses since then. I guess right now would technically be my 4th but it hasn't gotten "bad" yet besides all the emotional stuff I'm dealing with.

My mom has always gotten on my ass with my ED stuff. After I was first diagnosed with anorexia, for the most part, she would control my entire life if I got (too thin). Her cutoff for "too thin" was 105-110 pounds. But there were times where I'd get to 98 without intervention because I was a sneaky ass lil bitch. When I was a kid, she would pull me out of activities I enjoyed, forbade me from seeing my friends, etc if I refused to eat/gain weight. As an adult, my mom controls my finances so whenever I do something she doesn't like, she pulls the "if you don't x then I won't put money in your account."

It's much easier to get back into my ED habits now, compared to any point in my life, because a) I live alone and don't have anyone to monitor me b) I don't have an SO who makes sure I don't engage in ED habits and c) I typically don't see my mom for 2-3 months which is a lot of time to lose as much weight as I want to.

Right now, my UGW of 85 is totally reachable because the odds are in my favor *[cue Mockingjay whistle]*. However, I know at some point, my mom will see me, whether I'm 85 or 105 and force me into treatment. Even if she doesn't see me, I have friends who care about me too much and will contact my mom if they think I'm going off the deep end. Sigh. How much of a bitch am I to be complaining about caring friends?

She's also a doctor and though we don't live in the same city, she used to work in the city I live in. So within an hour, if she found out I've relapsed, she could call up a doctor friend and have me hooked up to an NG tube within an hour. I mean I'm an adult now so no one can force me into hospitalization but there's always that financial threat she hangs over me.

I don't know. Is anyone else in a situation where they know at some point, you're going to have to stop?

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[Rant/Rave] chew & spit "binge"....Why? Why did I do that?
/u/MissMagus
Created: Sun Apr 17 21:18:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f9yfn/chew_spit_bingewhy_why_did_i_do_that/
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I literally just spent 45 minutes chewing and spitting like a pound of food. I've been restricting pretty hardcore lately (between 150-600....and tbh most of that goes to booze so....not much food aside from low cal veggies and broth) and busting my ass at the gym...so i get why i was craving food...but damn. it was like a beast kinda just took over me.

I had a bit of a sweet tooth, so i went to get a tiny taste of the cookies and cream ice cream my SO has in the freezer....and while i was savoring the taste...it like hit me...i dont have to swallow this shit. I took a glass and spit it out. and I did that to like over a cup of ice cream. I even went as far to swishing my fucking mouth with water after each bite to keep me from swallowing any.

I felt totally out of control. I didnt stop at the fucking ice cream. I took like 30 tortilla chips and a tub of sour cream and did the same thing. I easily wasted like a fourth of the container of sour cream. THEN i did it with some of my roommates potato chips. THEN I did it to some of my other roommates left over pizza. AND THEN CHEESE, AND PRETZELS, AND RANCH DRESSING, AND FINALLY...I made a big ass burrito thing out of left overs from when I made tacos for my SO, and chowed down....spitting every single grain of rice back out. I finished my awkward little "binge" with more of the stupid ice cream that started the whole thing.

I had to empty the freaking glass twice.

I don't EVER want to do that again.

I feel gross. and ashamed. and weird.

Like really weird.

I dont know.

Just bitching I guess.

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[Discussion] Has anyone else experienced unintentional purging? (Sorry it's long)
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 146.2 | 26.61 | -49.8 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 20:54:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f9vab/has_anyone_else_experienced_unintentional_purging/
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Sorry if this is long and a bit hard to understand, I'm feeling awful and a bit out of it as I write this.

So, this has happened to me several times over the last two weeks. I end up eating something (say roast beef like today), I still drink a lot of water before during an after the meal, and don't do anything strenuous. Then roughly 4 hours later, I start getting a pain in my abdomen. It's slightly comparable to a gas bubble being trapped below my ribs. No matter what I do, the pain gets worse. I overheat, start sweating, then start feeling faint, all while the pain gets worse. Eventually, I decide to try to go chug a ton of water and then purge. If I do this, after a while, the pain goes away.

My question is, does this happen to anyone else? What can I do to avoid this? It's not as if I'm eating a lot when it happens either. These meals are usually 400 cal max (dinners with in laws). Years ago, I had a problem where I would throw up randomly for no reason, but it was just a feeling that "oh you need to throw up", I would do so, and be fine after. This is so much worse feeling and actually scares me a bit. I had gone so long without purging and I don't want to get back into that habit. So thanks in advance to anyone who can offer advice or a slight insight into this.

TL;DR Often when I eat, even small amounts, I get an excruciating pain that won't go away unless I purge and I have no idea what is going on.

EDIT: I've spoken with my mother (ex-medical assistant and my go to person with medical questions) and she brought up the possibility of this being from a hiatal hernia. Both she and my father have this problem. I'm going to start on some antacid type things to see if it helps. Otherwise, it'll be mostly liquids only. Just wanted to update in case anyone else is having the same problem.

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[Rant/Rave] Fuck you dessert squares
/u/bellatrixcat
Created: Sun Apr 17 20:30:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f9s27/fuck_you_dessert_squares/
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Each of these tiny squares not even the size of my palm are around 130 CALORIES EACH LIKE WHAT. The torture is real :( they're waiting for me to eat them :( just a rant post ugh

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[Discussion] Has anyone experienced heart failure because of their ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 17 18:58:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f9fgy/has_anyone_experienced_heart_failure_because_of/
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[deleted]

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[Thinspo] I like how my legs look today.
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | 104.7 | 18.69 | -37.3 | Female]
Created: Sun Apr 17 18:58:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f9fe6/fixed_link_i_like_how_my_legs_look_today/
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I am losing weight steadily again by restricting and I am starting to notice some small and big changes already. By trying on clothes I am motivating myself to KEEP GOING and not binge. Here are the pictures!

http://imgur.com/rnegYzP
http://imgur.com/1bDuJfM

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[Rant/Rave] I resent the people who care about me
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Sun Apr 17 18:49:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f9e5i/i_resent_the_people_who_care_about_me/
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If it wasn't for then I could just get out of this hell that I call my life

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[Thinspo] I like how my legs look today.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 17 18:06:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f98bp/i_like_how_my_legs_look_today/
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http://imgur.com/(null)

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[Rant/Rave] Just a rant about binging/purging and weight fluctuations...ugh
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 17 17:52:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f9672/just_a_rant_about_bingingpurging_and_weight/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Double standards and skinny shaming
/u/skinnyhotlinebling [1.75 | 57 kg | 18.3 | - 19 kg | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 16:22:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f8sxl/double_standards_and_skinny_shaming/
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I really feel like ranting. This is so unfair. I was just trying to pass some time and I went to a reddit sub, a sub where you have to be very careful with your wording in order to not hurt other people feelings. I guess that only applies to the plus size, because you can totally say (and get upvoted) that only people who are starving don't have a belly pooch ("All I see is that you, like every living human not experiencing literal starvation, have a lower stomach." - this was the comment). Is this normal? How can this be accepted? This is completely shaming skinny individuals.

God, I don't know why, but this really irks me.

Post: https://np.reddit.com/r/femalefashionadvice/comments/4dvjao/how_to_disguisestop_a_fupa_occurring_when_i_wear/

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[Rant/Rave] What happened after I ate a fuck ton of carbs this weekend after eating almost none for 4 months
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 17 15:38:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f8m3b/what_happened_after_i_ate_a_fuck_ton_of_carbs/
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http://imgur.com/a/ceeM9

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[Discussion] Fave sugar-free treats NOT made with sugar alcohols?
/u/athenta [5'5" | 128.5 | 21.6 | -41.5 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 14:51:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f8erl/fave_sugarfree_treats_not_made_with_sugar_alcohols/
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I keep trying to find sugar-free candies made with splenda or something, but everything has sugar alcohols. IBS + sugar alcohols = bloating for days so bad my sweatpants don't even fit.

I know sometimes Werther's has used splenda, so things along those lines.

I'm sure there are those of you here who are sensitive to sugar alcohols as well and would like a sweet treat that doesn't cause severe pain.

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[Discussion] Supersize v Superskinny
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 14:23:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f8ag5/supersize_v_superskinny/
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There's full episodes on Youtube and I watch it frequently sometimes I'll re-watch episodes etc because seeing the super thin people eat so much and being sick is a kind of a binge-stopper.

But most of these super thin people eat 1500 calories a day and I'm over here eating 700 and still flabby as fuck?! Do you think they're inflating the calories that the skinny people eat or that's just their TDEE? It's just so much. This woman was 5'4" and she weighed 95 pounds but was eating 1800 calories a day. Idk this is just strange to me.

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[Goal] I'm so ridiculously happy!
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 13:41:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f84cy/im_so_ridiculously_happy/
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I lost 9 pounds in 3 weeks.

It may not seem like much to you all but I'm so damn happy I can't even contain myself.

I lost one and a half inches off my waist, a half an inch off my upper arms, and half an inch off my thighs.

UGH I'M SO HAPPY I HAVENT FELT THIS HAPPY IN SO LONG

I'm still not satisfied with my body by any means but just to make this much progress is amazing to me! I'm so close to a thigh gap!

I'm so motivated to keep going, so I treated myself to some brussel sprouts, cherry limeade sparkling ICE, and sugar free jolly ranchers (this may not sound like a treat to some people but i love them so much lol)

I'm just so happy ugh! Thank you all for motivating me and keeping me sane! =')

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[Rant/Rave] I've been really depressed and I finally told my mom about it.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 13:18:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f80p5/ive_been_really_depressed_and_i_finally_told_my/
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Note: I didn't tell her about anything ED related. That would be a whole different issue.

So I've been on a trip with my mom and her boyfriend this weekend. I've been really depressed for the past few months (which is what probably triggered my ED relapse) and it's been hard holding it all in. My flight was earlier this morning, and as I was saying bye to my mom, I just started crying and saying how lonely and sad I am, how I feel like I have nothing to look forward to in life.

She suggested I move back to Chicago (our hometown/where she lives) so I'm around her/family. She said she'll visit me (I live in Vegas) every month until I move so I'm not lonely.

I honestly don't have it in me to apply to a different college, find an apartment, find a new barn for my horse, find a shipper for my horse, etc. Literally all I want to do is lay in bed all day and cry and sleep and pet my cats. That's it.

I like when my mom visits me but the ED part *hates* it because when she's here, I eat. And my progress stalls. And the number on the scale doesn't go down. And my clothes feel tighter. And I feel fucking disgusting. That's honestly the biggest thing that's bothering me right now. That if she visits, I won't lose weight. And it's so fucking stupid that I would rather be thin and miserable than happy with my mother's love (and bomb ass food).

I don't really have a reason for posting this here. I just need to vent and I'm absolutely miserable. I'm at the airport waiting to get on my flight back to Vegas, and when I get back to Vegas, I'll just be lonely and miserable and starved. I hate this. I really just can't wait to get back home so I can cry myself to sleep.

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[Help] Any motivation to work out?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Sun Apr 17 11:32:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f7jn7/any_motivation_to_work_out/
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I still have half an essay left to write, the sun's about to set and I meant to work out for an hour today. Anyone got anything they use to motivate them?

edit: in case anyone cares, i managed to run more than an hour on the treadmill while watching 'the good dinosaur' thanks to your advice

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[Rant/Rave] When is it body dysmorphia, when is it just normal low self esteem
/u/butcustardcreams [5'9" | 67.8 kgs | 22.1 | -5.2 kgs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 10:42:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f7bms/when_is_it_body_dysmorphia_when_is_it_just_normal/
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Hey guys,
Just wondering what you guys experienced in terms of the non-food side of your eds, like the body image part

I do know I am fat regardless, but I'm thinking it's like extra negative than maybe it should be? Like I think I see myself accurately (I know I'm unnatractive due to my weight) but maybe it's getting out of hand

For example, there's two mirrors in my room and I look thinner in one than I do the other and it really stresses me out because if these two show different things, then I cant really trust any mirror and I might be fatter than even the fat mirror makes me look, and I can't trust the scale anymore because I think that makes me lighter than I am and I don't trust myself to take measurements properly in case I suck in too much.

Also this Friday I couldn't get in to a club because they kept saying for me and a friend to wait until we gave up and left. I know it's silly but I feel like they didn't let me in because I was too fat and maybe they don't want fat girls? Because i wasn't that drunk so I'm not sure why they kept making us wait (I have been much much MUCH drunker and gotten info clubs when I wasn't as fat)

My bmi is in the upper part of the healthy range which is still gross definitely but I feel like I see fatter people walking around the city but for some reason idk I feel like it's okay for other people to be fat and they still look okay but I feel like I scare everyone around me because of how fat I am. I was on public transport today and the seats on either side of me and even one or two along were empty even though the other side of the aisle was full and there were people standing and I can't help but feel like it's because I must have like reverse body dysmorphia and can't see how humoungous I am :( its not like I smelled or looked like a hobo or anything so why do people avoid me.

Tldr I'm a pathetic whiny little shit and I'm so sorry :'( I think I've fallen off the deep end

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[Intro] Hello, everyone!
/u/Nonsense_Addict [5'4" | 132.5lbs | 22.7 | -2.5lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Apr 17 10:15:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f77i0/hello_everyone/
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I've been reading through this subreddit for quite a while, and have decided it's time for me to come out from the shadows and introduce myself.

Before I do so, I'd like to start off by saying how pleased I am to have found /r/ProED. I've never seen such a positive, supportive community on Reddit. This is exactly what I need in my life. Eating disorders are, unfortunately, very difficult to openly discuss. You all have a great attitude, and I can almost feel the virtual hugs when I scroll through. So, thank you all for being so kind to each other. I would love to be a part of this virtual hug fest. ❤

A bit about me:
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 135 lbs
BMI: 23.2
Goal Weight: 120 lbs
Ultimate Goal Weight: 100 lbs

Though I am a tad shy about my weight since I had my son, I know that this is a place where I can be honest without judgement.

I have been dealing with ana/mia for about 10 years. And in all honesty, I am not looking to recover any time soon. I feel healthy and strong.

I'm not sure what else to say about myself, but I'm glad I made the first step to make an introduction. I'd like to thank Jelly for so politely helping me gain the courage to post.

If anyone has any questions and would like to learn more about me, please feel free to ask! Also feel free to tell me a bit about yourself.

I love you all already! ❤

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Apr 17 10:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f75jg/daily_food_diary_april_17_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for April 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Help] calorie intake problems
/u/-teaqueen- [5'3" | 115 | 20.37 | -20 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 09:46:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f7337/calorie_intake_problems/
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I've been being really unhealthy and only eating 150-300 calories a day. After I almost passed out downtown I decided I need to start eating 600 a day. But I made a whole meal plan and it only evens out to 370 calories a day, and that's 3 meals a day. I don't know how to eat more than what I've planned but I know I need to, even if its just an extra 100 calories or something. What can I add in? Protein shakes? Any ideas?

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[Discussion] I feel weird that I ate nearly at maintenance for two days and didn't gain any weight
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Sun Apr 17 09:41:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f72gk/i_feel_weird_that_i_ate_nearly_at_maintenance_for/
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Generally speaking I will move mountains to avoid eating 1k calories or more a day, but it wasn't reasonable this weekend. (I won't make excuses for myself. Every single bite I take is a choice, and I acknowledge that.) I could have avoided it, but I couldn't have avoided it while maintaining the facade of eating in a healthy/normal way.
It sucks, but I'm focusing on the long game. If eating too many calories for two days ensures my next several weeks of peace, I'll do it.
I do feel like I should be punished for my indiscretions though. I'm EXACTLY the same weight as I was two days ago, before eating four days' worth of food.

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I feel weird that I ate nearly at maintenance for two days and didn't gain any weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 17 09:40:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f727l/i_feel_weird_that_i_ate_nearly_at_maintenance_for/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] A lot of people seem to think I'm an XS in clothes!
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 124 | 22 | -21 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 08:47:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f6uqr/a_lot_of_people_seem_to_think_im_an_xs_in_clothes/
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Although most of my clothes are still size small, it makes me happy to hear that people really think I'm THAT skinny.

For some reason though, feeling happy about my progress always leads to a binge :( Binges scare the hell out of me. I don't get how it is possible to be thinking "I don't want this gross jelly donut" and somehow eat 3 of them anyway. Body's survival instincts, maybe? I've only had a net at most of 600 calories this week. Thank god for fasting and exercising though. I'm going to coffee/water fast today and then eat maybe only 300 calories the next day to make up for this.

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[Help] This week
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Sun Apr 17 07:57:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f6o4u/this_week/
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So this week my dad is coming to town and wants to take me out twice. I'm super anxious for it. Help me decide: Should I fast the whole day until dinner or just act as normal?

The main reason I'm worried is whenever I eat more than normal, my body bloats badly. For example, I had a cupcake Friday night and my scale says I'm still two pounds heavier.

Please help me!!

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[Discussion] Is jolt vanity sized like crazy or am I really a 00?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 07:28:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f6kst/is_jolt_vanity_sized_like_crazy_or_am_i_really_a/
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After a few months of wearing my size 5 ponte pants with a belt (haha, I know, right?), I knew it was time to upgrade. I tried on a 3. Nope, too big. Wait, what? Size 1, too big. Size 0, the same. Size 00, fit perfectly. Hold the phone. I haven't lost any weight in ages, I can't imagine I'd be a size 00. I thought that was a number reserved for truly skinny people, people even more perfect than the illusive size 0. Frankly my weight is downright normal. It doesn't make sense.

Does anyone know the extent of vanity sizing in different brands? There has to be some explanation for why the 00 fit. They also had from a 000 to a 13 or so on the rack, for reference.

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[Thinspo] Morning, compadres. Let's start with some full frame photos :)
/u/avaflies
Created: Sun Apr 17 07:11:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f6ixo/morning_compadres_lets_start_with_some_full_frame/
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http://imgur.com/a/tDoxW

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[Discussion] Last week was filled with binges
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Apr 17 06:51:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f6gua/last_week_was_filled_with_binges/
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And it was so weird to have my body function again. I wasn't cold all the time, I didn't get shakey legs after a few minutes of standing, I was less tired..

Too bad I'd rather be skinny

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[Discussion] What's you're body type?
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Sun Apr 17 06:18:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f6djy/whats_youre_body_type/
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I just did a quiz where you put in your chest/waist/hip measurements to see what your body type is. I'm apparently banana shaped. Besides the irony that my shape is named after a food, I'm a little disheartened. My measurements are 35-27-35. Basically my waist isn't more than 9 inches smaller than my chest or hips. I'm just a rectangle. I don't know if I'll ever get to a 25 inch waist. Anyone else unhappy with their body type?

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[Thinspo] [Album] [NSFW] Restriction reason #473 - to look dainty in lingerie
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 17 02:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f5t27/album_nsfw_restriction_reason_473_to_look_dainty/
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http://imgur.com/a/Rf1dQ

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[Help] Feeling like the distance is impossible
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 17 01:44:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f5qof/feeling_like_the_distance_is_impossible/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] 84lbs was my goal
/u/euripidest [5"1 | 79 | 14.9 | -38 | f]
Created: Sun Apr 17 01:14:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f5ogl/84lbs_was_my_goal/
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but, this morning woke up, and i'm nearly there. and although i am starting to feel like my body is ok, it's not what i want it to be.

80lbs, then? i like even numbers. i really don't like the number 7.

i thought i'd feel happier by now

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[Help] Can someone make me feel better?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Sat Apr 16 21:52:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f54t4/can_someone_make_me_feel_better/
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My SO told me he'll be most attracted to me when im 115 lbs.

I'm 143 lbs. I've lost 13 lbs so far but 115 seems so,, so far away. He always grabs my love handles and tummy and calls it 'cute' then this?? Ugh..... I've been crying a lot. And next week he'll expect for us to have sex again because that's when my birth control sets in. I feel like fasting for 3 months

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[Rant/Rave] My Birthday party's tomorrow and I'm terrified of a binge. Also small victory
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 21:31:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f52go/my_birthday_partys_tomorrow_and_im_terrified_of_a/
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So for my sweet sixteen party I get to spend the entire time stressing over my calories! Yaaaay /s

The plan is everyone comes to my house, we leave to eat at a place called MOD's pizza, head to the theater to watch zootopia, and come back to my place for cheesecake. And the pizza place is like make your own/chipotle choose style...

Goddamnit. Why did I have to make my party about food? I should've said let's go ice skating and then have lunch _where i can't binge on pizza_

Yesterday i already went over my calorie limit of 250 (hello halo top) and then ate like 2100 cals of junk. And from tuesday until yesterday i was always under 300. I don't wanna mess up my progress because i ate nothing today and I'm back down to 101 lbs (45.8 kg)

I really wanna make it to 97 pounds (43.9 kg) by the orchestra banquet (29th this month). Going on orchestra spring trip and hanging out with these 14-16 y/o guys with six packs has really killed my appetite. And seeing their bodies makes me want to be able to look great in my own.

I wanna be able to wear a dress or something lovely to banquet and not feel fat as fuck (but with disordered thoughts that'll never happen lol).

What are some of you guy's goals this month or by the end?

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[Rant/Rave] So my plan went as well as could be expected
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 20:19:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f4u1h/so_my_plan_went_as_well_as_could_be_expected/
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I planned to work off as many calories from last night as I could. I burned off ~988. I did my usual 4.5 mile run. Then my usual 40 minute walk. I also added an additional 3 hours of walking. All was going according to plan.

However, it's now 10:15pm. My calories for today are fine, but I am both super buzzed and nursing a totally swollen left knee. It was only a matter of time until I screwed something up with all that exercise. I'm sitting with my knee wrapped and ice sitting on top of it in hopes that I can still run tomorrow.

That's how fucked up I am. I can hardly walk from from room to room, but am still planning to run 4.5 miles tomorrow.

At least husband is being super sweet and offering to get me anything I want. From booze to cheese to ice cream to pretzels.

I totally took him up on the wine.

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FASTING [4/17/2016]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 16 20:14:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f4tho/fasting_4172016/
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[deleted]

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[Help] My main source of calories are alcohol.....it's getting out of hand
/u/amidala12
Created: Sat Apr 16 19:51:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f4qpa/my_main_source_of_calories_are_alcoholits_getting/
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Been tracking my calories for years, stopped for a few months and started again. I have no problem consistently staying under 700 a day but every night I drink well over 1000 in booze.....I'm for sure struggling and can't go a single night without drinking.....trying to stick to vodka sodas but the hangovers are destroying me.....any advice is welcome

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[Rant/Rave] Feeling Awful
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 19:44:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f4pvs/feeling_awful/
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Long story short, I feel like I'm letting my friend down because I can't go to her wedding. I sent her $300 (the price of a flight to and from her wedding which I would have spent to attend) as a gift, and she texted me and said she wouldn't accept it.

I feel like a really shitty friend. It was really important for me to be at her wedding, and I feel terrible about not being able to come.

I've also gained so much weight, I was supposed to perform tonight but I couldn't because I felt too fat to be up there in front of everyone.

Tomorrow, I will eat less than 300 calories. And I will go to the gym. No excuses. Please actually make sure I do this because I keep saying it and then I don't do it.

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[Help] Any one ever get prescribed anything
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Sat Apr 16 19:06:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f4lg8/any_one_ever_get_prescribed_anything/
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For their BED? I read somewhere that you can get prescribed Vyvanse or something like that. And that is kind of like adderall, so I hear. I had taken adderall recreationally and it definitely helped me lose weight with how much it suppressed my appetite. I struggle so much with binge eating. And I'm just curious about possible ways to stop it. I know about EC stacks, but I am kind of scared to take it! 😳 I don't know. I'm dumb.

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[Rant/Rave] I think I just blew it
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Sat Apr 16 18:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f4k4f/i_think_i_just_blew_it/
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Ok so I have a bad habit of talking to myself and as I was walking to the living room after purging I said to myself "Got all those bad calories out," and when I looked up MY BROTHER WAS RIGHT THERE ON THE COUCH not 6 feet away from me.

I think he heard me say that and he knows about my ED from the past and ohhh God I'm so scared.

If my family knows it's over. Oh. Shit.

*internally screaming*

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[Other] Is it terrible that I wish this was accepted?
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Sat Apr 16 18:45:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f4iz5/is_it_terrible_that_i_wish_this_was_accepted/
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Is it awful that I wish I could excuse myself to go purge as simply as if for any other reason, and that I didn't have to try to hide he sounds or the other evidence, because no one would judge me or try to stop me?

Is it bad that I wish I didn't have to make excuses for not eating? That I could just simply say "No thanks, I'm not eating today," and no one would do anything about it?

Is it terrible that I wish I could spend as long as I need to in the bathroom after meals, and if anyone asks why I could just say "Purging is hard sometimes," with a shrug.

Is it wrong that I wish when people inquire about my weight loss, I wouldn't have to lie?

Is it bad that I wish I couldn't be hospitalized for this? That no one would be able to make me gain weight and hold me in a center against my will, that they viewed it as my personal business and certainly none of theirs?

I wish I didn't have to hide it and I wish people wouldn't think poorly of me for it. Or try to stop me.

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[Rant/Rave] I can't do this anymore.
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 18:29:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f4h66/i_cant_do_this_anymore/
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I am so sick of this. I can’t fucking stand myself anymore. I’ve been stuck in this binging cycle for almost two years now. And I’m honestly done. I can’t keep doing this. Nothing helps. I can’t afford treatment. I don’t have insurance. I am so fucking sick of this. I ate two entire danish cakes today and then I continued to stuff my face with even more food even while I was throwing up. I am disgusted with myself. I can’t keep this up anymore. My only option now is to kill myself. I’m sorry guys. I can’t do this anymore.

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[Help] On the verge of a panic attack at my bf's place. Please help.
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 132 lbs | 23.2 | -108 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 17:11:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f472q/on_the_verge_of_a_panic_attack_at_my_bfs_place/
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Hi everybody,

We're hanging out watching TV right now and I'm trying to calm myself. I haven't had anything other than coffee today because he said he wanted to get sushi and I'm feeling really faint, but now he's also getting some fish and chips and expected me to share it with him. The combination of my being faint and the fear foods is too much right now.

I'm trying to calm myself down, I feel ridiculous, he doesn't know I've relapsed and I don't want him to know. :( ghfcbny I don't want him to see how weak I am right now. :<

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[Rant/Rave] So my boyfriend almost left me at home
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 16 16:41:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f434a/so_my_boyfriend_almost_left_me_at_home/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Goals! :)
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Sat Apr 16 16:41:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f4325/goals/
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Hey guys I just wanted to tell someone who cares that I reached 108 today! My scale is about .8 off according to my doctors office scale and when I saw it read 107.2 today when I woke up I got so excited! This is my lowest ever weight and I'm so psyched. I thought I'd want to stay at 109 when I got there but now I want to get to 105 and eventually 100. I think I will stop when I get under 100. Twiggy had a bmi of 15 and I want that too. Almost there! :))) stay free lovelies

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[Discussion] DAE get really stressed out over the composition of their calories
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Sat Apr 16 15:56:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f3wsz/dae_get_really_stressed_out_over_the_composition/
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Like, for my planned "cheat" day tomorrow (still less than 1200 kcal) my nutrient breakdown is like 25% fat and its stressing me out. I know that to fix it I could add more grains and lean proteins, but I'm already at about 900 calories and I just feel like eating more will ruin all the progress I've been making. And I'm not even sure if such a low cal cheat day will even work with the whole science behind a cheat day and metabolism (which I know sounds like fatlogic but I've been doing some reading on it and there may be a little bit to support it). So is it even worth it? I really don't want to do an all out binge and ruin all the progress I've been making, but I know the cravings are mounting and the whole thing just has me really stressed out....

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[Goal] Going to start my first fast soon.
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 146 | 25.5 | -16 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 14:42:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f3mqo/going_to_start_my_first_fast_soon/
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Posting this for accountability.
I've tried fasting in the past but I've never been able to make a whole day on 0 calories. The most I've ever been able is to restrict to about 100 or 200 kcal a day.

The past few weeks I've been focusing on exams. I haven't been paying attention to calories at all and eating out mostly because I don't have time to cook. As a result I've ballooned. I feel absolutely disgusting whenever I look down at my body, or in a mirror. I hate sitting on the bus because I feel like I just spill over the seats and am disgusting.

A problem is that I'm going home for the summer, and I'm not nearly as in control of my own food. I'll figure that out once I get there, but the point is that from the end of my exams (tuesday night) I have 3 days until I fly back home (not until friday night). I'm planning on doing a liquids only fast (I'm thinking I'll do vitamin water / tea / coffee with splenda and no milk / diet coke) for those 3 days to help me get back into the mindset. Hopefully I'll be able to last the whole 3 days but I feel like if I start to slip I just have to look in a mirror and that'll disgust me enough to get back on track.

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[Rant/Rave] How do you bounce back from a major setback week?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Sat Apr 16 14:37:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f3lyx/how_do_you_bounce_back_from_a_major_setback_week/
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It is so easy to self sabotage after doing so well. I have gained about 4 lbs this week, and I'm fairly certain it is real weight. That's ridiculous. It takes me weeks to get rid of it, and here it is back again.


It just makes me not care as much about restriction because I feel like I'm fat anyway, why care about anything...might as well be a slob and binge.


I need to break this cycle. Once I gain weight, it's like I can't stop. What do you do when you hit a rough patch?

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[Help] [HELP] I ate an egg with my EC Stack, will it still work? I'm really paranoid.
/u/ProEDAlt [5'6 | 137lbs | 22.1 | 8 lbs | Grill]
Created: Sat Apr 16 13:30:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f3c07/help_i_ate_an_egg_with_my_ec_stack_will_it_still/
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Everyone says not to eat with it, but I really really needed to. I was gonna pass out. But I'm gonna hate myself so much more if the ephedrine doesnt work now.
Will extra caffeine help??

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[Rant/Rave] Pointless ramble: I think my agoraphobia just helped me
/u/tusmoerkestraaler [5'3" | 105 | 18.6 | -48 | M]
Created: Sat Apr 16 13:13:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f39fr/pointless_ramble_i_think_my_agoraphobia_just/
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So, I'm severely agoraphobic - I leave the house once a week to see my therapist, and occasionally I'll go to a local shop with my mum. They're the only two places that are "safe", as long as they are almost entirely empty.

Today I went with my mum to the shop with the intention of buying a shitload of binge-food - I've been slipping backing into a binge-purge cycle again.

It was hell. We passed at least three people on the way there, and there were at least four or five people waiting around outside the shop. Already a bad start; they were all staring at me, I could hear their comments, I knew exactly what they were thinking about me. Fat, ugly, laughable, fat, weird expression, clothes don't fit, uncut hair, fat, dirty, fat...

We went into the shop and...it got worse. The aisle we were looking in was full of cereal/cookies/cakes (etc) and there were three+ young (college or uni-aged) people at the end, laughing and talking really loudly. Obviously as soon as they saw me I could *feel* them staring at me, and their laughter all became directed at me. "Look, fatty's buying junk food!" I started crying - quietly, almost silently - but that still drew even more attention, everyone was staring at me, laughing at me... so rather than buying the food and drowning my sorrows in ~~a box~~ several boxes of poptarts, I told my mum I wanted to go home. We left, without any binge food.

I'm so humiliated and if I have my way I'm not ever going back to that shop. I've also never been *less* hungry in my life. Eating just makes me fatter, and when I'm fatter it just gives everyone another reason to hate me and laugh at me. I feel as though I never want to eat anything again... but realistically I'm now going to break my longest-water-fast record. Preferably several times.

Sorry for the ramble. I have nobody IRL to talk to. I feel shitty, I still keep randomly bursting into tears, I'm so angry at myself for dragging my mum out for no reason, and I now only have one outside safe-place - but at least I didn't binge.

*Note - I genuinely find it difficult to tell if people "actually" say things to me when I get panicky and agoraphobic-y, and since I'm a little calmer now I can tell there's probably a chance nobody **actually** said anything. It felt as though they did and it had an impact as if they did, but I just thought I'd point that out ~~so you don't hate me for overreacting, attention-seeking, being a drama queen, or whatever~~*

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[Discussion] Cereal Questions
/u/lowgravities
Created: Sat Apr 16 12:39:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f34ao/cereal_questions/
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Any breakfast cereal recommendations? (based on a balance of fiber/protein and calories)

I know rice chex and similar kinds have like, 100c per cup but they're basically made out of air and bread. I'm willing to accept a few more calories if it means the food actually has some nutrition.

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[Intro] Hello friends :)
/u/noodles_77 [5'2 | 120 | GW: 100 |F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 12:33:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f33cp/hello_friends/
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hi!

I'm somewhat of a lurker here, but have commented a few times but I just need to vent a little.

**Backstory:** Never had eating problems in my teens/highschool. I was an athlete and could basically eat 3000 calories a day and maintain my weight at 100-105ish pounds. Once I got to college I stopped playing my sport and that's when all hell broke loose. I gained 5 lbs after my freshman year and freaked out and began restricting. End of my sophomore year that restricting led to me developing full on BED where I literally gained 20 pounds in the span of a few months. Ever since then I've binged/restricted and continued to hover around a disgusting 120-130 pounds which looks just absolutely horrible on my small frame.

 

I feel like I haven't been living my life these last 3 years- I don't even know who I am anymore. I feel so fat that it prevents me from going to class/out in public sometimes because I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking how disgusting I am. I see obese people and I feel like that's what I look like and that's exactly how people see me even though deep down I know it's not true.

 

Thanks to this sub, I discovered EC stacks which have seriously been helping me to control my binges so much better. I graduate in a month and hope to be under 115 lbs by then. I just need to remain focused and not let moments of weakness ruin my plan.

 

Oh! One question- do EC stacks make anyone's skin kinda burn? I feel like I have a sunburn all over my body sometime when I take it, but it's not a major problem, just sort of interesting!

 

Sry this is so long but I just want to say how thankful I am for this supportive community and to know there's so many others out there dealing with the same thing I am!

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[Intro] I'm back after 6 weeks and here's some updates.
/u/athenta [5'5" | 128.5 | 21.6 | -41.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 12:13:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f30az/im_back_after_6_weeks_and_heres_some_updates/
---
My old username was lindzeyy.

I hit a big goal of getting in the 120s at the beginning of March. As much as I wanted to keep losing, my family was getting suspicious and I decided to test my hand at maintenance. Worked just fine, but I hate the scale not budging. So here I am.

In 6 weeks a lot has happened. I was rejected from my dream job thanks to a mistake I made many years ago that always seems to haunt me. It means I can't get TS security clearance and closed off a whole world to me. I'm absolutely devastated. I just keep getting bad news and I'm wishing it will stop. I'm lost again and feel hopeless.

Control over my body is the only thing I have and I have another 15+ pounds to go. In better news, a Planet Fitness opened up a block away from me. It's $10 per month compared to $40 for 24 Hour Fitness and I'm happy.

Not much else. Just glad to have this place to vent and have support.

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[Help] Distractions?
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 12:00:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2yie/distractions/
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I'm currently fasting, and I feel so bored I'm afraid I'm going to binge.

How do you distract yourself? Anything I do seems so boring.

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[Intro] Finally out of the woodwork, so hi!
/u/Indigobeet [162cm | 62kg | 24.3 | 0 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 11:36:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2v0b/finally_out_of_the_woodwork_so_hi/
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Hey, I finally mustered up the strength to post. Sorry it's a bit ranty and thanks for reading.

I've been a chubby kid all my life until the middle of highschool I decided I was finally going to lose weight. So I did and it was wonderful, until one day I broke and had my first binge ever.

Ever since then, 5 years now, I've been restricting and then binging, losing and gaining the same 10-15kg in a matter of months. I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of feeling unattractive and fat and feeling that everywhere I go people look at me with disgust cause I am so goddamn fat. Every fibre of my being preoccupied with how horribly I currently look, I hate it.

So I'm in this for good now. I only feel in control of my life and everything else around me when I'm restricting and food is planned out in advance along with everything else I'm doing. Sadly no one understands my need for rigid planning, but I'm sure you will.

I feel like I found a community where I belong. I may call this home.
So hey there!

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Apr 16 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2gqy/daily_food_diary_april_16_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 16, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Help] Any long distance runners here?
/u/kongjinho [5'3" | 147.9 | 26.2 | -9 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 09:50:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2ezj/any_long_distance_runners_here/
---
Hi hello!

I run regularly and having an eating disorder combined with this is tricky. I obviously want to perform and lose weight at the same time, which is basically impossible. But I feel better and I get points for trying.

Anyway I have a long run (18K) coming up tomorrow. And today when I was running, I had a 500 calorie breakfast before and gave that time to digest. But on my run I still felt dizzy, foggy and really tired, and it wasn't particularly a hard or long run. So I'm thinking that it's the effects of restriction. I don't restrict heavily compared to people here (I eat 1000 calories a day) but it's definitely enough to heavily affect athletic performance.

Tomorrow I obviously don't want to faint in the middle of the woods. I'm going to eat a big breakfast before but I don't think that's enough judging by the run today. So I was thinking of eating a little bit under maintenance the day before? So for me around 1500 calories. My disordered mind is having trouble with this.

My question is, how do you guys do? Do you eat more the day before + a big breakfast or do you somehow make it through anyway? I'm already bringing glucose with me but I'm afraid it won't be enough if I'm restricting the day before my run anyways. The old me would probably laugh at this haha....anyway thank you for reading this!

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[Tip] 125 cal dinner and delicious!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Apr 16 09:49:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2ew1/125_cal_dinner_and_delicious/
---
http://i.imgur.com/E8Tybrx.jpg

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[Tip] The beauty of setting an intake cutoff
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 16 09:45:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2ec0/the_beauty_of_setting_an_intake_cutoff/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] On mobile and can't figure out how to post a pic on selfie thread. Making progress, but the tummy pooch never leaves! :(
/u/thunderbirdandspice [5'10" | 136 | 19.5 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 09:33:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2ch2/on_mobile_and_cant_figure_out_how_to_post_a_pic/
---
http://imgur.com/JVSs9Eu

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[Rant/Rave] My best friend just fatlogic'd the shit out of my eating disorder.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 09:20:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2apy/my_best_friend_just_fatlogicd_the_shit_out_of_my/
---
So my one best friend knows about my recent ED relapse. She and I were talking on the phone last night because I was having some issues with my ex girlfriend. My friend started saying "you know I'm sure the break up is part of the reason why you're having this relapse."

Now, this friend of mine is pretty significantly overweight. She's 1-2 inches taller than me and probably 25-30 pounds heavier than me. She went on to say something like this:

"I really hate that you have this eating disorder. Especially nutrition wise, you know, your body goes into starvation mode and as soon as you start eating ANYTHING, whether it's fruits or vegetables even, you'll gain back ALL the weight REALLY rapidly and it's just horrible for you. Trust me, when I was working, I didn't have time to eat all day then I'd come home and eat dinner and I just started rapidly gaining weight and getting heavier. You need to eat every 2 hours, something that's around 250 calories, if you want to be healthy." 250 calories every 2 hours? If I'm awake for 16 hours a day, that's 2000 calories which is 200 calories above my TDEE = weight gain!

:O <---- that was my face when she was saying all of that.

I wanted to tell her "you know, starvation mode is a myth." But she's the type of person who it's really hard to persuade her even with facts. But omg she is so clueless! Even if I restrict for several days, then one day I have 1500 calories (which is under my TDEE), yes, I'll "gain" weight in the morning, but the number on the scale is water + poo weight.

We both ride horses together and she said "Don't let the pressure of the riding world get to you. You're not fat. You look perfect and [insert our trainer's name here] thinks you're the perfect size for a rider, nothing is wrong with your body."

!!!!!

My ED has very little to do with looking good for riding! Sure, I want to look hot as fuck in tight breeches and sometimes I (irrationally) think to myself "oh well if I was lighter I'd be easier on my horse's back" when in reality my horse has no problem carrying me around.

Anyways, it just pissed me off so much that she brought up "starvation mode" and blamed my relapse on riding. My ED is 70% about control, compulsion and obsession. Not about how I look on my horse.

/endrant

---

Pictures
/u/Thepuginpink
Created: Sat Apr 16 09:16:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2a7a/pictures/
---
Does anyone else think that they look okay or decent when they look in the mirror and then see pictures of yourself or try to take a picture of yourself and it's completely different. It's like which one do I really look like.

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[Tip] I looove cereal
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 09:05:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f28mr/i_looove_cereal/
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A small bowl of cereal along with a tall glass of water or tea makes me feel full but in a happy cozy way, not a "I really ate too much" way.
Here are the calorie counts for some of my favorites:


Cereal | Calories per cup
---|---
Corn flakes | 100
Rice krispies | 104
Corn chex | 120
Rice chex | 100
Crispix | 110

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[Discussion] Binge calories
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 08:47:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2643/binge_calories/
---
Okay so I'm pretty EDNOS or whatever they call it now with binge/purge/restrict cycles but I've been working really hard on trying to even out my calorie intake. Like I would be okay eating 1k calories a day if that meant I didn't purge or binge anymore.

Anyway. If I'm bingeing at 2-3 am do I count it as the day before or the day of? I've been counting it as the day befores calories because I didn't sleep in between the two days but it has more of an effect on the day of because I'm bloated and lethargic and etc after. Just wanted to get your opinion on this!

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[Rant/Rave] ruined my whole intake yesterday
/u/-teaqueen- [5'3" | 115 | 20.37 | -20 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 08:23:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f2303/ruined_my_whole_intake_yesterday/
---
I almost passed out walking downtown so I justified eating 2 pieces of pizza and a cookie. I could have made do with just one piece but apparently not. Weirdly, nearly passing out feels almost like a goal, even though I felt terrible last night. I felt like my legs were going out from under me every step I took. I just don't know what I'm doing. I don't think I'm in control of this anymore. I know I have to increase my daily calorie intake from 300 to at least 500 but I don't want to. I deleted my calorie counting app last night then I redownloaded it this morning. I told my mom what was going on too like an idiot because I felt a spur of the moment need to change. What is going on with me these past 24 hours???

---

[Goal] I need to spend half my day on my treadmill
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Sat Apr 16 06:33:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f1plp/i_need_to_spend_half_my_day_on_my_treadmill/
---
To make up for last night.

There were so many calories involved, I couldn't even guess at them. I didn't binge, per se (well not until I got home at least), but I ate a fuck ton.

Husband and I went into Brooklyn (which always makes me happy in and of itself, damn I love Brooklyn) to see Jen Kirkman. Before we left, I had 2.5 glasses of wine and a couple oz of vodka. I also ate several oz of cheese. At the show I had a glass of wine. On the way back in the car I ate a protein bar. Stopped at Applebees (which I hate) on the way home. Ate a burger (minus the bun and fries). Stopped at 7-11, got Butterfinger PB cups; ate all 4. Got home, finished bottle of wine. Ate 3 pieces of SF candy, several handfuls of PB chips, 2 single servings of PB.

I then passed out on the couch and woke up four hours later surrounded by empty food wrappers.

My plan is to do my usual run at 11. I'm done around 12:15 (that's a 4.5 mile run and, like, a 40 minute walk tacked onto the end). Take a break, get some water, have a protein bar. At 1pm get back on and walk for another 2 hours until hockey starts at 3pm. Then walk the 15 minutes of intermission, so that'll get me another 30 minutes.

I know it won't come near burning off all those calories from yesterday, but a) I'll feel better b)I'll feel like I'm doing something and c) It can't hurt.

On a slight side note: as someone who doesn't have an actual diagnosed ED, do you guys think this exercising is sort of kin to bulimia? Is over exercising a common thing? I mean, it seems like it should be under the bulimia umbrella, right? Sort of like how you can't purge up everything? I certainly can't burn off everything I eat, but I can't help but try.

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[Discussion] Kaila The Anorexic
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 23:50:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f0pmo/kaila_the_anorexic/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2l_O8x3qeg

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I've gained a kilo and I feel awful please help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 15 23:06:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f0l3o/rant_ive_gained_a_kilo_and_i_feel_awful_please/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] I need to ask something?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 15 23:06:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f0l13/i_need_to_ask_something/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Gym disappointment
/u/heartbrokenandok
Created: Fri Apr 15 22:14:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4f0fg1/gym_disappointment/
---
I went to the gym today, third day of serious restricting, with the plan to walk 3 miles on a hill map for approximately 430 kcal burned in an hour. Its what I did last saturday, and while it is still tough for me (since I'm so fat and out of shape) I felt like it was a goal I could accomplish but would still challenge me enough to count as a good workout.

Well, I had to stop after 45 minutes and only 330 calories. This included 1 minute breaks every 15 minutes or so. I felt light headed and nauseous. I knew that going from 1200 to 600-800 kcal per day would mean I had less energy, but I am so disappointed in myself for not being able to push through. I read all these stories of you amazing people eating 800 kcal and then running 5 miles, and I can't even manage to walk 3....

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[Help] I'm kinda scared? Possible black outs??
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 19:07:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ezsje/im_kinda_scared_possible_black_outs/
---
First of all, sorry I post so frequently I am an extremely lonely person...

Secondly, I don't actually know if these are blackouts... it feels like when your blood pressure drops only kinda worse.

ANYWHO... so TWICE today I have had issues with standing. The first time, I was in Walmart, squating down trying to pick the best laundry detergent and when I got back up my eyes went really dark (tunnel vision??) and I had to lean on my cart or I would have fallen...

Then later I was sitting, weighing out portions of popcorn and labeling the baggies I put them in so I'd know the calories and when I got up to put them away, I actually ended up falling over. Then my arms started tingling really weirdly...?

I'm kind of scared. I have experienced something similar in the past (low blood pressure woo), but never this bad...

What should I do? Is it a sodium problem? Or potassium maybe? I slacked off on my drinking today so maybe it's dehydration?

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[Discussion] Eating Back Exercise Calories?
/u/lowgravities
Created: Fri Apr 15 18:44:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ezpko/eating_back_exercise_calories/
---
What are everyone's thoughts? I've been eating most of them back (and losing weight) but I feel like I want to stop? My only fear is that I'll start binging, which happened the last time I tried something like this.

Tips for stopping? SHOULD I stop?

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[Discussion] Would you guys be interested in thinspo albums once or twice a week?
/u/avaflies
Created: Fri Apr 15 18:44:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ezpir/would_you_guys_be_interested_in_thinspo_albums/
---
I wanted to ask because I know people already do this, but I've worked up quite the collection and it would be fun to share it. Whatcha think?

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[Tip] Great product for anyone who uses laxatives regularly!
/u/ImElectroGirl [5'6"| 49kg | BMI:18 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 18:31:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eznvi/great_product_for_anyone_who_uses_laxatives/
---
I live in a shared house so my purging has always been a little embarrassing, however I recently discovered [this product called poopourri](http://www.poopourri.com/collections/all-products) and I cannot recommend it enough! It forms a layer on the water and traps any smells in the bowl. I've been using it for a few weeks now and I can't recommend it enough for anyone in a similar situation.

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[Rant/Rave] Most weight (4 lbs/1.8 kg) I've gained in such a short time...and it has to be real
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Fri Apr 15 18:20:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ezmaq/most_weight_4_lbs18_kg_ive_gained_in_such_a_short/
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I am about 4 lbs my Monday morning weight and I'm feeling so panicked. This was after laxative use Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I think it is real weight gain. It feels insane. I was under 95 for 7 days straight. Monday, I was 93.8 and this morning, post laxs, I was 97.8. Since Monday, the morning number has slowly been creeping up about half a pound


I want so badly to believe I didn't eat that much...but my b/p sessions are large and I used laxs so it cant just be extra food/water weight.


Has anyone else gained this much "real" weight in 4 days?

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[Rant/Rave] [Rant] My boyfriend let slip that I could do a fat cosplay
/u/Raspberry_Pancake
Created: Fri Apr 15 18:04:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ezk59/rant_my_boyfriend_let_slip_that_i_could_do_a_fat/
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Now, in his defense it was a misunderstanding and not what he truly meant. I feel bad for fixating on it so much but God, it triggered me so hard when he said those words. He has apologised profusely and given me many reassuring words.


I've already been feeling a bit unatrractive lately and due to my inactivity this easter break, I've gained 2kg. My Bmi is on the high end of normal. Borderline overweight. I FEEL SO SHIT.


Guess who's gonna go on a restrictive diet for 2 weeks, folks? It's my birthday in 2 weeks and I refuse to eat anything substantial until then.

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[Goal] I DID IT
/u/-teaqueen- [5'3" | 115 | 20.37 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 17:25:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ezei0/i_did_it/
---
Hit the 115 pound mark today! That means I've lost 20 pounds since December! I am so happy! I told my mom and she told me not to lose anymore but fuck that, my sister is so much skinnier than me, I at least have to catch up to her!

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[Rant/Rave] Gotta ride fast
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 16:18:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ez4ol/gotta_ride_fast/
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I was doing so great yesterday with everything: 150 kcal, 20 mi biking @ 12 mph avg. Then I thought I would be okay dinning out with my SO. And I was. I felt fine. Then last night something non-ED related set off my depression and I ended up crying myself to sleep, again. I couldn't even get myself up and out of the room until noon. The nearly year long work of recovery habits kicked in and I started making food because it was time that normal people eat. I put the left overs in the micro wave and started eating. I caught myself about half way through then I kept eating and finished the meal. I had some jello and juice. I just went overboard and had some cereal too. I can't stand it. I wanted to purge but fought the urge because I hate how it feels. I'm so fat. I gained back two pounds that I worked off last week. I can't stand myself anymore. I've gotta just fast and bike and exercise. That's all I can do. Only calories are gonna come from alcohol.

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[Help] Suffocating after purge?
/u/MiaEdAlt
Created: Fri Apr 15 15:01:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eysxc/suffocating_after_purge/
---
Has anyone else ever felt like they can't breathe because their throat is on fire so badly after purging?

I think it must be stomach acid burning my throat, but a few times I thought I was going to hyperventilate to death. It was super scary.

(Sorry for no flair. On mobile.)

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[Rant/Rave] My hips.
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Fri Apr 15 14:46:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eyqmj/my_hips/
---
I have a 23 inch waist and I weigh 89 pounds. My goal is a 22 inch waist and 80-84 pounds. I am so close. So so close. I am so excited to be almost there...

But my hips.

Oh god, my hips and thighs.

My hips are disgusting. They measure 34 inches on my 5'1-ish frame. It's diporportionate. It's unbalanced (I have like no boobs to counter it).

My thighs measure 18 inches. Dispicable.

I hate them so much but they aren't shrinking. All of the rest of me is but my hips are stuck. I don't understand.

I hate hate hate them and I need them gone. Why are they so big? Ugh. Im disgusting.

I'm worried they won't go away and I'll have a tiny, delicate body ruined by my hips and thighs.

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[Help] [help] Brain fog with EC stack??
/u/ProEDAlt [5'6 | 137lbs | 22.1 | 8 lbs | Grill]
Created: Fri Apr 15 14:19:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eym0c/help_brain_fog_with_ec_stack/
---
What gives? I thought it was supposed to help with focus, but I feel like a zombie. Can't really think straight. I took 25mg bronkaid with 150mg caffeine yesterday, and 50mg with 200mg caffeine (25mg at 8 w/ coffee and 25mg at noon with no caffeine) today.
Appetite is low which is great, but I'd like to be able to be productive....

For reference, I used to abuse the absolute fuck out of adderall (80mg+ a day) but I haven't touched it in over a year so maybe that has something to do with it?

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[Rant/Rave] Struggle between knowing i need to take care of myself and not wanting to.
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 108.5lbs | 19.37(new) | -23.5lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 14:07:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eyk1g/struggle_between_knowing_i_need_to_take_care_of/
---
I havent really posted before because i assume no one would ever be interested in what i have to say....but i have really been struggling lately. I have been doing so great, hit a new GW and am really close to my UGW (the one for this week anyway...), haven't been binging and haven't gone over any of my calorie limits. Lately though i have started feeling really weak and my Dr put me on this new medication that gives me awful insomnia, so not sleeping paired with not eating is really just making me feel really bad. Just feel really depressed and emotional, which is pretty normal for me anway, but i'm usually able to just suck it up and deal with it and lately i havent been able to deal with it. I came to work today and just couldn't function, vision blurry, can't focus or even keep my head up. So i was like ok, i know my body needs food but i didn't even feel hungry and definitely didn't want to eat. But i thought it might make me feel better so i went ahead and went and ate like...600 calories which makes me sick just thinking about it. I try to tell myself that its ok because i won't gain any weight, i just might not lose any, but thats not good enough. if i'm not losing i feel like a failure and all my hard work means nothing. I don't know where i was going with this. I just don't know what to do with my life right now and felt like i needed to write this somewhere.

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[Thinspo] Thinspo Friday no. 5 ;) (you skinny devils, you)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 13:34:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eyel2/thinspo_friday_no_5_you_skinny_devils_you/
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http://imgur.com/a/BsxE4

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[Discussion] would anyone be interested in a proed fitbit group?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 15 13:03:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ey97g/would_anyone_be_interested_in_a_proed_fitbit_group/
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[deleted]

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[Discussion] I know this has been done before, but i need serious motivation. PM me your emails to add me on fitbit, or MFP.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Fri Apr 15 12:51:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ey73o/i_know_this_has_been_done_before_but_i_need/
---
i'm Vulcanist on myfitnesspal. you could also add me on fitbit like this: https://www.fitbit.com/user/3ZHR9B

i'm 5'2, 145, and my ugw is 95. it's so motivating to see that step chart on the fitbit website. you can challenge me any time or whatever. love you guys! :))

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[Other] This is from over a week ago, but it still makes me smile! Understanding SO is super sweet :)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 12:33:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ey3zh/this_is_from_over_a_week_ago_but_it_still_makes/
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http://i.imgur.com/0B131WE.jpg

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[Discussion] Is it possible for Body Dysmorphia to work in 'reverse'?
/u/vhenah [5'7 | 172.2 | 26.88 | -47.8 | MOO]
Created: Fri Apr 15 12:16:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ey11f/is_it_possible_for_body_dysmorphia_to_work_in/
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Most days I feel like I look like a whale but today I look so thin? I don't feel particularly small obviously but I just looked in the mirror and I refuse to believe that's me.

(also no clue if this flair is relevant l m a o)

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[Discussion] Two titles added to PDF library on Google Drive: 'Skinny' and 'Thinspo'
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 12:14:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ey0ls/two_titles_added_to_pdf_library_on_google_drive/
---
I decided to put some new book PDFs together while I'm waiting on [some more ED graphic novels](http://imgur.com/qXrZSSB) to arrive :) [Click here to read!](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B3Q11myA6WH7fmdwdk5BYUtIZnRnVFc4eGtuRkNSak5EYmVMcGVEek12RUJXTWw4NldGRzA)

###[Skinny](http://imgur.com/34U1PnL) (2007)

by Ibi Kaslik

> *Do you ever get hungry? Too hungry to eat?*

> Holly's older sister, Giselle, is self-destructing. Haunted by her love-deprived relationship with her late father, this once strong role model and medical student, is gripped by anorexia. Holly, a track star, struggles to keep her own life in balance while coping with the mental and physical deterioration of her beloved sister. Together, they can feel themselves slipping and are holding on for dear life.

> This honest look at the special bond between sisters is told from the perspective of both girls, as they alternate narrating each chapter. Gritty and often wryly funny, Skinny explores family relationships, love, pain, and the hunger for acceptance that drives all of us.

*****

###[Thinspo](http://imgur.com/jsOcIHI) (2012)

by Amy Ellis

> Jenni is an average teenage girl about to graduate from high school who keeps a blog about her struggles to get a boyfriend and arguments with her best friend, Carly. But Jenni's blog is a bit different. She's a pro-ana/pro-mia blogger documenting her struggles with her eating disorder, keeping track of her weight, calorie intake and what her parents made her eat. When her best friend Carly discovers her blog, things start to blow up, only getting worse as Jenni meets Dani, who also suffers from an eating disorder. Jenni's story is tragic and sarcastic rolled into blog format and told through her posts and text messages.

*****
[The current collection:](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B3Q11myA6WH7fmdwdk5BYUtIZnRnVFc4eGtuRkNSak5EYmVMcGVEek12RUJXTWw4NldGRzA)

* Boys Get Anorexia Too (Langley, Jenny)
* Brave Girl Eating - A Family's Struggle with Anorexia (Brown, Harriet)
* Clean (Reed, Ann)
* Eat - STOP - Eat (Pilon, Brad)
* Fasting Girls (Brumberg, Joan Jacobs)
* Fighting With Me (Anonymous)
* Hunger Point (Medoff, Jillian)
* Kid Rex: The Inspiring True Account of a Life Salvaged (Moisin, Laura)
* Letting Ana Go (Anonymous)
* My Perfect Little Secret (Coppage, Rebecca)
* Purge - Rehab Diaries (Johns, Nicole)
* Skinny (Kaslik, Ibi)
* Skinny (Smith, Laura L.)
* Skinny Bitch (Freedman, Rory & Kim Barnouin)
* Skinny Boy - A Young Man's Battle & Triumph Over Anorexia (Grahl, Gary)
* Thinspo (Ellis, Amy)
* Unbearable Lightness - A Story of Loss and Gain (de Rossi, Portia)
* Wasted (Hornbacher, Marya)
* Wintergirls (Anderson, Laurie Halse)

Please leave me a comment if you'd like me to try and obtain a particular title that is not currently on the list!

*****

From /u/HellAbove:
> For kindle people: http://ebook.online-convert.com/convert-to-mobi
:*

---

[Rant/Rave] Reached beginning of my somewhat-acceptable range and proceeded to have the biggest binge ever.
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 11:30:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4exstx/reached_beginning_of_my_somewhatacceptable_range/
---
Yesterday I ate more than I can ever remember eating in one day. I was eating literally all day. I could have stretched those calories out probably 5 days (and been right at my daily goal). For fuck's sake I ate an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting when I wasn't even hungry.

So now I'm going to do something I've never accomplished before. I've done plenty of IF in the sense that I'd skip meals/food until dinner to save my calories for a seemingly normal meal with my family. But I've never gone even a whole day without eating. Soooo water fast starts now.

---

[Discussion] I'm a bad person...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 10:46:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4exl6q/im_a_bad_person/
---
I am a bad person. I get very, very irritated when people talk about dieting. It makes me irrationally angry. Why though? Because I'm jealous? Because I don't want them to look better than me? Maybe... or maybe I just fear they'll fall into the same trap I did.

I don't know... does anyone else feel this way? Or am I just scum?

---

[Rant/Rave] Grocery Shop Win
/u/Overexplanation4you [5'7 | 140(?) | 21(?)| -30 | GW 115lbs| Female]
Created: Fri Apr 15 10:33:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4exiy6/grocery_shop_win/
---
Went to the store today and you won't believe what I found.

Blueberry Muffin Tea. No, not blueberry tea, blueberry MUFFIN tea.

I was doubtful and curious so I bought it. IT FUCKING SMELLS AND TASTES JUST LIKE BLUEBERRY MUFFINS!

Needless to say my sugar cravings are no longer an issue

---

[Rant/Rave] I fucked up
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 10:30:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4exik4/i_fucked_up/
---
I keep restricting/fasting and binging. I'm still on the same weight because of this. I work out the first days, and binge the other days and on Mondays I just start over. This really has to change. Today, I had a huge binge. I even started hoarding binge food in my room yesterday. I buy food, eat whatever I can and dump the rest in my stash. Wtf is going on with me?

Ugh, I just really need a reset. I feel terrible about myself right now. I want to be tiny again. I really need to be held responsible for my actions. I wish I had someone with me who could tell me not to eat. Or at least not all that shit.

Any tips at all for Monday?

---

[Help] Help make an iced green tea latte sound disgusting!
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 124 | 22 | -21 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 10:09:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4exexs/help_make_an_iced_green_tea_latte_sound_disgusting/
---
For lunch, I usually opt for a sugar free caramel americano, but cravings happen...

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 15 10:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4exdtt/daily_food_diary_april_15_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 15, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] the ever shifting and elusive UGW.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 09:44:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4exat1/the_ever_shifting_and_elusive_ugw/
---
112.5 lbs. Finally out of the '20s', BMI wise. This morning my boss said my size and outfit made me look like a 12 year old (daisy floral skater dress, jean jacket, leggings, ballet flats, braided pig tails), and that if he saw me at the train station he'd think I was a lost kid separated from her mother.

As a 31 year old mother, I was delighted to hear that.

Despite a moderate dinner binge (i.e. I ate 1.5 servings of grains instead of just 1 serving) on top of my work-party cookie pig out, I still managed to drop 1/2 lbs on both of my scales. I don't understand it, but ok.

On the bus ride to work I had an epiphany; why not shoot for 105lbs? Why settle for 110lbs, when I can go for gold and tread the line between underweight and healthy? My only concern is breast milk supply, I'd hate for a 5-7lbs loss to dry up my tits. I really want to continue BFing past the 1 year mark, as BF makes everything easier, (baby crying? pop a boob in his mouth. Baby won't settle for a nap? boob mouth. Baby fell over and hurt himself? insert boob into mouth, etc.) PLUS its a crazy calorie burn (20 cals per ounce produced).

I guess I'll have to double up on the galactagogues (what a fun word!) and witch titty teas.

Its so funny, 6 months ago I was happy to settle on 120lbs, then I pushed that to 115lbs, then 110lbs, and now 105lbs. Each level I had a convincing argument for why I shouldn't try to go lower.

For real you guys, this time, I REALLY shouldn't go below 105lbs. I just need to keep reminding myself that boob milk is at stake. However once babyman is fully weaned, uuffff, all bets are off.

---

[Discussion] Are there foods where you're comfortable ignoring the calories?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Fri Apr 15 09:34:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ex91z/are_there_foods_where_youre_comfortable_ignoring/
---
I know that the "zero calorie" sweetener I use *technically* has some calories in it. I'm sure my vitamins do too (they're pills, not chewables). I assume a tea bag has some scant amount. But I draw the line at obsessing over how much they add up to in a day. I count raw baby spinach as 30 calories, regardless of how much or how little I eat. I log the calories in sugar free jello, but allow myself as much as I want (it's never more than 2 or 3 of them anyway).

---

[Discussion] Anyone binge as punishment?
/u/Journeytothin [5'6 | 129.9 | 21.0 | f]
Created: Fri Apr 15 09:25:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ex7oi/anyone_binge_as_punishment/
---
Yesterday was awful but I resisted binging. This morning I didn't wake up in time to run so I binged, and my stomach hurt like HELL. It seriously fucking hurt, but I kept going because I was like okay, this is what I deserve. And so that's been me for the entire day, binging to make my stomach hurt because I'm so mad that I'm weak. I guess one positive (??) is that I am (TMI) going to the restroom if you know what I mean, after 7 days of not having any bowel movements....Ughhhh.

Tomorrow I'm starting the 28 Day PIIT from blogilates challenge, and I'll finish the day before my graduation. Combining that with my usual 500kcal limit and running 3x/wk I hope I can escape more binges and lose 10-15 :/

/rant. Thanks for listening & being such a great support group. <3

---

[Rant/Rave] Today: 130 calories of delicious banana oat cookie
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 09:18:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ex6gq/today_130_calories_of_delicious_banana_oat_cookie/
---
http://imgur.com/9wTb867

---

[Help] SUPER low-cal comfort food?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 09:16:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ex652/super_lowcal_comfort_food/
---
We're in for a big snowstorm this weekend (probably. Or rain, or blazing sunshine, or all three...yay, spring in Colorado). I'll be snowed in with my BF all weekend, which used to be really fun when I cared more about looking normal—we would always spend snow days vegging out and cooking something cozy and comfort food-y.

This time I have the vegging part covered (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 2, woo!) but the food is stressing me out majorly. I must be doing worse than I thought, because even the thought of an entire of batch of chili/enchiladas/lasagna/any of the stuff I used to make being in the house at all, much less cooking it or eating it, is filling me with throat-closing panic.

IDK what to do. I think I could talk with my BF about this if I had to, but practically speaking we have to eat SOMETHING that's not my safe protein shakes or broth (or at least he does), and less practically I don't want to give up the tradition and feels that go with the whole nesting/abundance/nurturing thing. All I can think of is stews, maybe, where I can really water down my portion? Those flourless PB2 cookies that are 400 cals for the whole batch?

Any other ideas for super-low-cal comfort food and desserts that can be made in batches?

(This whole crisis is really upsetting me. Cooking and sharing great food used to be a huge passion/hobby of mine...and usually when the ED got bad I was still able to do it even if I ate less of it or purged later. Now I can't even pretend and it makes me fucking sad to lose this huge source of pleasure and pride and connection with the people around me. Gone, gone, gone.)

---

[Rant/Rave] Binged after reaching my very first goal weight.
/u/milky_silky [5'5 1/2 | 115 | 19.2]
Created: Fri Apr 15 07:46:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ews3b/binged_after_reaching_my_very_first_goal_weight/
---
I'm talking complete loss of control, eating this, eating that, I just felt so disgusted with myself. I kept flushing, throwing up, eating more, throwing up. And this was at 7 in the morning - I couldn't handle it anymore. Obviously I feel ashamed, I feel like utter crap. I cried before falling asleep at noon and I'm too scared for the scale tomorrow. I don't know how to motivate myself to go forward, when my bulimic mind thinks "You're obese. You binged, you ruined everything already, just binge again and you'll get over it." I'm going to the gym this evening, I need to burn *at least something* off. I'm not having anything for the rest of the day, but damn. I am just so disappointed with myself. I always disappoint myself.

---

[Other] Relatable.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 15 07:45:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ewrwb/relatable/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/d93ec0c3bedf4cbb98572a6de3045ae1?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d2e0af63e9edfe46da72743b77aba3aa

---

[Goal] Just want to share my small success story!
/u/MermaidHeart [5'6" | 127lbs | 21.1 | 16lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Apr 15 07:34:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ewqeh/just_want_to_share_my_small_success_story/
---
I have avoided the scale for a couple weeks, which is unlike me.
Last weigh-in, I was about 131lbs. I was happy as it took about 2 months for me to lose almost 17 lbs to get there.

Today, I stepped on the scale, and it had me at 126. My jaw dropped. 126!! I haven't weighed this much since I was 20!!!
I tried on this GORGEOUS size 2 dress that hasn't fit me in so long... And the waist had extra space even!!! OMG I can even sit down without my tummy rolling in on itself. I can walk around my flat naked in front of my boyfriend, and I'll see him sneaking a peek!

I hate weekends for the sole reason that I'm not at work and keeping my mind off of food, but hey.. We do battle with it.

Ladies, and Gents, we can do this!

---

[Goal] I woke up like this 💁 ✨
/u/pumpkin-poodle [5'3" | 84.8 | 15.44 (new BMI) | -66.2 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 07:09:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ewmt5/i_woke_up_like_this/
---
http://i.imgur.com/n8zqgDw.jpg

---

[Help] I don't want to take my meds ever again
/u/ixxybitsy [5'3 | 146.8 lbs | 26.72 | -36 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 06:33:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ewhuf/i_dont_want_to_take_my_meds_ever_again/
---
So I was diagnosed with a mental illness a year ago and was made to take Lithium by my doctor. I gained fucktons of weight and felt like shit sometimes, but I still kept on taking it because I trusted my doc and I was hopeful that after some time I could stop.


I went a bit worse on December, and a mixture of laziness and distrust for Lithium made me stop taking it. I felt at that point it it had already done all that it could and it was just sort of making things worse; those times I just felt like I was always on a short fuse, thirsty, fat, etc. So I went to my doctor to possibly talk about getting off of Lithium. However he is no longer available for consultation (he's still a resident and is exploring other parts of the hospital); I get shuffled off to a doctor who really looks like he doesn't care.


I tell him part of what's going on and he doesn't prompt me to say more. He just hands me a prescription for more Lithium and tells me to come back soon. I got his number and said I'd text him so we could decide on when I was going. A few days pass and I text him, no response. I try texting him again I think, and I haven't received any response from him at all. At this point I slowly slip into not taking Lithium anymore. Things go great, I start losing weight and start school again. These months mark some of the more successful and fulfilling times of my life.


Then one day, out of the blue, my parents just push for me to take Lithium again. They nag me to buy it and now they want me to start taking it again. I'm scared because I've been doing great so far and I don't want this dumb psychoactive drug to interfere with my current successes in life. I really think I don't need this but I know my parents won't believe me if I tell them because they'll think it's just the crazy in me talking. And I don't feel like I can talk to the new doc about this either, seeing how little he seems to give a shit about me just as long as I keep buying meds.


Bottom line is, I just really really REALLY do not want to take Lithium. It will make me fat again, it will give me these dumb side effects again, meanwhile it isn't even doing anything constructive with me because I feel like the doctor doesn't even give a shit. What do I do? I just feel so hopeless and not understood. :(

---

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! April 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 15 06:03:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ewdw3/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_april_15/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for April 15, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Rant/Rave] TFW you realize halo top is only 240-280 cals
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 05:19:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ew8yu/tfw_you_realize_halo_top_is_only_240280_cals/
---
And you immediately binge that whole damn pint. Wished mom got the chocolate flavor (240) instead of strawberry (280) now xD

I was going for under 250, but now I'm at 280...ooooops. Looks like I'm chugging nothing but water and diet soda today!

---

[Rant/Rave] Scale Vs Inches
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 05:07:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ew7rm/scale_vs_inches/
---
So I've been running like an insane person lately. My calories have been fine (for me anyway) almost always under 1100 usually between 900 and 1050 (I'm more of an eat to run and then try to burn off as many calories as I can during said run- I usually end up netting between 600 and 800 calories a day) girl than a hard core restricter.

Anyway, my weight has been basically the same for, like, 7 fucking weeks. I pulled out the tape measurer this morning to check my inches as a last resort after I kicked my scale. I haven't checked them in about two months. I've lost 15 inches in the last two months. I feel like I look exactly the same though (hence the no weight loss in 7 weeks).

Ugh. Why does my scale hate me so much? I know I'd lose more if I knocked my calories back to 800 or so, but I need the running to fix all the other issues in my life.

All of my clothes are much too big, my rings don't stay on and my runs are much easier on my knees so I know, logically, I'm not the same size, but visually and mentally, I look exactly the fucking same.

I did so well this week. I was sure I finally lost SOMETHING. I've planned victory wine. I'm still gonna drink it. Only now it's been converted to drink away your failure wine.

---

[Rant/Rave] The world makes sense again
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Apr 15 04:14:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ew2mq/the_world_makes_sense_again/
---
Hello first period in three months. I didn't miss you but god I'm glad you are here and I can blame you for the emotional rollercoaster I've been on the past week. (And hopefully I can blame some of te weight on you too, pls be waterweight, please)

---

[Rant/Rave] All the progress I made over the last
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Apr 15 01:31:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4evnl4/all_the_progress_i_made_over_the_last/
---
- month is gone and gained back on my fat, fat, fat body. I'm just going to try and keep myself busy now, burning as much as I can. I just feel heartbroken, 3,5 kg.

---

[Rant/Rave] I have so much hate for myself
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 126.8lbs | 19.79 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Fri Apr 15 00:50:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4evjhd/i_have_so_much_hate_for_myself/
---
I found a picture of myself in summer 2014, with a gap between my legs all the way up. I am so, so much fatter than that now. I could cry.

I was rejected from university. You think I'd learn...to not apply or not get upset when they reject me, I don't know.

trying to think of those things whenever I think about being hungry. I want to marry hunger and guilt totally in my mind. I deserve the bad things that happen to me because I am lesser, flawed, or tainted, and if I have discipline then I know I'm that inch less worthless, and I'll know if I have discipline because I'll finally be thin.

---

[Other] I did great. Kind of.
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Fri Apr 15 00:45:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eviy0/i_did_great_kind_of/
---
So, unpacking all day had me so focused I didn't eat a thing. My sister's boyfriend came home at one point though, with a very small half box of Wendy's fries. I munched on those. He asked me if I needed any food and I said no. And I'm sure I burned off those few fries with how much work I put in going up and down the stairs in my new townhouse. Constantly. All day. But I went out tonight and got drunk, watching my boyfriend's band play. But on my way home in my Uber cab I made him stop at the 7/11 and I binged.

And I hate throwing up.... but it seems easier to do when I'm drunk. I never, ever purge, because I hate it. But I do binge and I did tonight and I purged... I know I didn't get it all out, but I do feel much better.

Any one else find it super easy to purge when you have been drinking?

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm going to die hungry
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Thu Apr 14 23:37:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4evc1e/im_going_to_die_hungry/
---
I'm just having a bad day. Stupid period. Too much is never enough when I'm on the rag. I've already had 1025 calories today and I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate going over 1k.

And I'm Still. Fucking. Hungry.

This is such bullshit, I'm going to be fat forever.

/rant

---

[Rant/Rave] Shite food dilemma feat. the BF
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 |-12.4 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 22:59:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ev7uj/shite_food_dilemma_feat_the_bf/
---
My bf is like this typical guy, who likes burgers and food, and sometiems goes to the gym to get better, but then stops because he doesn't have enough time etc.

He is like.. at the brick to beeing overweight, and a bit chubby overall, which is not a problem, he is as pretty, sweet and nice as he is..

It is just.. he likes to eat out at the weekend, and likes to choose rather fat food, that will make me feel horrible for 2 days and idk

Even if I tell him, I want to eat something not fat and a bit more healthy (because I have GERD, always a good excuse as I tend to get heartburn from anything too fat, too sweet, too salty or if it has white flour in it) we end up eating the same unhealthy stuff..

So I eat even less under the week and fast from sunday night until tuesday morning and do not eat on friday until we meet (even though I have a 90 min yoga class and feel quite dizzy after that) which is shite because that way most of my ED behaviour started a few years back...

So idk if I should tell him why I really don't want to eat shitty food (though I am afraid that he would not really get it and make me eat, or check if I eat and I really can't deal with that) but idk as the only person who knows that I have a somewhat unhealthy relationship with eating is my sister (aka the person I trust most in this world) and even she does not even remotely know about the extend.

Anyways, I am a bit afraid for the weekend (the only good thing is that we clean up his new flat before we paint it and he moves in as there is a lot of movement involved and somehow cleaning up always calms me down) and don't know what to do.. I don't know if I can just go with it this time, as last week it ended in me falling into a binge and secretly eat when my bf was not there, and I felt so shit and emaressed with myself that it made me sad this whole week..

Anyone have similar expiriences, tips, or anything?

---

[Discussion] Lets Discuss our favorite appetite reducing activity : smoking !.
/u/CrossedKing [6'2" | 160 | 20.5 | 0 | M |GW:130 ]
Created: Thu Apr 14 22:37:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ev5c4/lets_discuss_our_favorite_appetite_reducing/
---
Many of us probably smoke cigarettes to curb our hunger and I was curious to see the habits of this community,talk about your favorite cigarette,cigarettes smoked per day,habits... etc

Myself I smoke camel filters and smoke around half a pack a day.My favorite time to smoke is in the morning when I wake up with a cup of coffee so I can get trough the day.I find it very relaxing !

---

[Rant/Rave] Playing Arcade Games for Cardio
/u/ixxybitsy [5'3 | 146.8 lbs | 26.72 | -36 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 21:51:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4euzqg/playing_arcade_games_for_cardio/
---
I don't even know how to classify this, it's more a stream of thought thing than anything else. Yesterday in the mall I overate by a cup of flavored rice(200 cals + whatever flavoring thing they used?). I freaked the fk out and walked around so I could think about it more, then I passed by the arcade and saw my favorite arcade game, Pump It Up. It's like DDR but the step panels are all diagonal; you do a lot of jumping and step mashing and tons of footwork. It also tells you how many calories you've burnt per song but idk how reliable that is. So I just hopped on that and started playing! Each song says it burns ~15 cals approximately, and I did about 20 so that's hopefully at least 200 calories' worth? Hopefully.

While I was jumping in the game I could feel my belly fat flopping around and it was so embarrassing but motivating at the same time. I should probably play more regularly! Right now I can take on lvl 6-7 songs but levels go up to 18 I think and the harder the song, the more calories you'll burn. Kinda worried all the jumping will make my thighs too muscular but any exercise is better than none at all. I just couldn't tell this to anybody IRL they wouldn't understand as much, I think. So yeah that's it for stream of thought I'm probably going to ramble more once I've tried to play that game 3x/week and see if there are any results.

---

[Goal] I don't even lie anymore.
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 21:50:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4euznm/i_dont_even_lie_anymore/
---
I am ok saying "I can't eat anything I can't read the calories to because it makes me uncomfortable."

I am ok saying "I use ephedrine to stop feeling hungry."

I am ok saying "I am going to keep losing weight until I am satisfied, and I could really not care less if you have an opinion."

It started as jokes. I would reply sarcastically to the "YOU'RE TOO SKINNY!" comments. Now I can just say yeah... And I'm gonna get a lot skinnier.

What's the worst they can do? Uproot my whole life and send me to a center and know that I will always resent them for it? Lecture and harass me? Try to bullshit away their jealousy?

Fucking come for me, then. I defeated my own body, I'll fucking destroy yours.

---

[Rant/Rave] 3,590 calories in one day. My self-harm method of choice, apparently.
/u/NaturalBlonde91 [5'6|CW:143|GW:125|UGW:120|BMI:23.05 |-33 |Female]
Created: Thu Apr 14 21:36:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4euxx3/3590_calories_in_one_day_my_selfharm_method_of/
---
I hate myself so fucking much right now. That's half a pound of fat I just added to my body. A reasonable breakfast, two coffees... and then 7 slices of pizza, chocolate, and a full 245g bag of all dressed chips. I would be impressed, if I wasn't so thoroughly disgusted with myself. I feel sick. I feel ashamed. I feel so huge and bloated. Why do I do this shit to myself? Why can't I have a normal, healthy relationship with food? This hurts so much. :( And I don't feel like I can tell anyone else in my life about it, it's just so pathetic.

---

[Discussion] Does drinking green tea make anyone else hungry?
/u/aggressivedoughnut
Created: Thu Apr 14 20:58:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eusnq/does_drinking_green_tea_make_anyone_else_hungry/
---
I feel like it makes my stomach rumble and I eventually get hungry, but everywhere I read online it says it suppresses appetite. I know to do what works for me, but I'm just wondering if anyone else has the same experience.

---

[Rant/Rave] Tainted Thoughts from Sugary Slop
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 20:38:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eupv5/tainted_thoughts_from_sugary_slop/
---
Do any of you ever feel like a failure just because you've been *thinking* about eating something particularly bad? There were a bunch of baked goods at my work today. I had a 12 hour shift (during which time I didn't plan on eating anything), and I spent most of the shift:

* mentally weighing the pros and cons of eating a cookie
* wondering which kind of cookie would taste best (double chocolate)
* wondering which kind of cookie would have the least calories (definitely not double chocolate)
* wondering where I could savour my cookie in peace and ritualistically nibble it like a rabid squirrel (lunchroom? bathroom? crouch outside behind the dumpster?)
* wondering how I could get the cookie there without anyone seeing me because I'm too fucking fat to be seen eating a cookie (your bra. put it in your bra. plenty of empty space in your bra, you flat-chested buffoon)
* telling myself that I don't deserve the cookie (or anything nice, really)
* telling myself that eating the cookie is a bad idea
* thinking about how fucking good the cookie would taste

... You get the idea. Hooray for me, I guess. I didn't end up eating it. But I still berated myself all day and am still on board the Self-Loathing Express Train because I feel like my *thoughts* were tainted by that cookie. I spent so much mental energy thinking about it that I might as well have just fucking eaten it since I hate myself now anyway. When I think about my food intake for the day, I add that cookie to the list even though I never actually ate it. I guess I feel like I can't pretend that I have self-control if I spent 12 hours obsessing over cookie. Plus, I know that I would have eaten it if there hadn't been any people around, I was just too ashamed to eat in front of anyone.


Just a small update because I haven't been too active on the sub lately since I have finals right now: I've been maintaining my LW for a while, but I can't seem to stick to the restriction it takes to get lower. I'm so far from liking my body but somehow I can't eat less anymore. I don't know. Thanks for reading.

---

[Discussion] My Every Waking Moment Is About Food
/u/lowgravities
Created: Thu Apr 14 20:32:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4euozi/my_every_waking_moment_is_about_food/
---
From the minute I stumble into the kitchen and have coffee to dull my appetite to the end of the day, 90% of my thoughts are either about avoiding food or rationalizing what I do get to eat.

I just want to think about something other than food for once.

[sorry for the lack of flare I'm not sure if I can add it on mobile]

---

[Rant/Rave] I was under 110 and I fucked it up.
/u/F0xQueen
Created: Thu Apr 14 19:47:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4euigh/i_was_under_110_and_i_fucked_it_up/
---
I was doing so great. I was down to 108.2 (my lowest in a year), and then I fucking ate this stupid stuffed hamburger and ballooned up to 112.6. Then I got back down to 110.3, and now I just ate a bunch of food. I want to cry. I feel so fat and disgusting.

---

[Discussion] Anyone else motivated by a romantic interest?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 14 18:53:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4euamx/anyone_else_motivated_by_a_romantic_interest/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Disappointment
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Thu Apr 14 18:23:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eu6ed/disappointment/
---
Geez y'all. I guess I just need to vent for a bit. Sorry this is my second post of the day. I guess I just need someone to relate to me and make me feel more valid?

I've been doing so good lately. I've been staying under 600 calories a day and been losing a pound a day, which is really awesome but I still feel so upset. My goal is to have 500 calories a day but I allow myself no more then 600. Yet I'm still so disappointed with myself. I feel so heavy and upset, even if I know I'm under the limit.

I tend to eat heavier foods to try to trick my stomach into thinking I'm full, which works, but it scares me. I can't eat anything without feeling like I failed myself.

---

[Rant/Rave] I feel stupid
/u/-teaqueen- [5'3" | 115 | 20.37 | -20 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 18:16:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eu5dq/i_feel_stupid/
---
I was supposed to only eat a meal less than 200 calories for dinner so I picked a can of spagettios after reading that they're only 170 calories.

Then after I ate it I read the can again and there are 2 servings per can. so that's 340 calories and I'm really pissed off and upset at myself, even though I've only eaten 35 calories today besides the spagettios. I'm so mad.

---

[Discussion] Tattooed people- do you eat before getting anything done?
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 179 | 28.0 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 18:13:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eu4yx/tattooed_people_do_you_eat_before_getting/
---
I've been feeling kind of lethargic and awful lately, so I was planning on fasting tomorrow, but I just remembered I'm getting tattooed tomorrow night and don't want to feel too faint. It'll be pretty short, under two hours, but I feel like I should probably eat something. You guys who get tattooed/pierced often, what do you usually eat before and how much?

EDIT: Sorry no flare- mobile

---

[Help] Dinner ideas?
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Thu Apr 14 17:38:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4etzvd/dinner_ideas/
---
What do y'all usually eat for dinner? I find myself so likely to binge around dinner time and it's so hard to control myself.

For example, I just ate a bowl of oats, a bowl of cereal and some halo top. UGH. Thank god I kept it at 340 calories.

---

[Tip] Have you ever tried boiling a cinnamon stick in water?
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 124 | 22 | -21 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 16:17:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4etneg/have_you_ever_tried_boiling_a_cinnamon_stick_in/
---
Seriously, try it. You get a really great smelling kitchen and you get some yummy cinnamon tea out of it that's better than the tea bags.

It always helps stop my urge to binge, and whenever I'm craving a sugary chai latte I just add some frothy skim milk to it and sweetener and it doesn't add up to more than 20 cals a cup. I don't know if it's new to anyone, but I just wanted to share what helps me stay on track <3

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm a fat disgusting pig!
/u/Lailora [171 cm (5´7'') | 75kg (165lbs) | 25.5| 0kg | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 15:53:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4etjm4/im_a_fat_disgusting_pig/
---
[removed]

---

[Other] Work for a health supplements company and our distributor adores me so he brings vegan/gf/low cal gifts
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 118.0 | 20.65 | 107 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 15:46:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eti7z/work_for_a_health_supplements_company_and_our/
---
http://i.imgur.com/oEXRBWe.jpg

---

[Goal] My beautiful day so far
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 14 15:16:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4etd24/my_beautiful_day_so_far/
---
http://imgur.com/UvofW7f

---

[Help] Has anyone here lost a LOT of weight (like, 70lbs+) and reached your goal weight? How's your maintenance going?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer
Created: Thu Apr 14 13:54:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4esz1l/has_anyone_here_lost_a_lot_of_weight_like_70lbs/
---
I've lost like 60lbs over the last year, but still want to lose at least another 30. In a weird way, I'm glad I still have more to lose because I'm terrified of eventually getting to a point of having to maintain. I don't have any concept of how that even works. I don't mind obsessing over everything that goes into my mouth, but I guess I just wonder if it ever gets easier. Do the cycles of bingeing and restricting just go on forever? I've *always* been fat and honestly think this just must be how every thin person gets by. Like it's the big secret that nobody tells the fatties: There is no such thing as being effortlessly trim; if you want to be thin, you have walk a constant tightrope.

---

[Rant/Rave] oy, my resolve is being tested.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 13:45:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4esxhc/oy_my_resolve_is_being_tested/
---
As usual, it was the monthly mass birthday celebration in the office. Typical fare is mini cupcakes and a store bought cake, however I can avoid those because I don't really like them. But this month they switched it up; a chocolate chip cookie pie plus a variety pack of cookies (dark chocolate fudge, peanut butter, oatmeal raisin [favorite], white macadamia nut, etc).

oommggg.

So I had two oatmeal raisin cookies, but that's fine because they fit within my cal allotment. However whats really testing my resolve is the left over cookie pie and remaining oatmeal raisin cookies.

uugghh soon I have to go into the kitchen to make my afternoon tea, and those cookies will be taunting me. I'm considering chewing and spitting them if I end up snagging a few?

To be honest I really should avoid C&S, having done it in the past, its more of a psychological reliever rather than an effective means of avoiding calories.

arg. arg. arg. Its time for my tea, here's to hoping someone else ate all the cookie left overs. -_-

eta: Got a slice a cookie pie, but I C&S'd it. better than eating it I suppose but still, FML, I wish I could account for the calories I incidentally ingested. blllaahhh.

---

[Other] Binge logic
/u/pumpkin-poodle [5'3" | 84.8 | 15.44 (new BMI) | -66.2 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 13:01:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4esplt/binge_logic/
---
https://i.sli.mg/zbidLd.gif

---

[Goal] Finally lower than I've been in 5 years.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 12:41:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4esm3j/finally_lower_than_ive_been_in_5_years/
---
Dropped 8.5 lbs in the last 2 weeks because I was disgusted with myself and how lazy I let myself get. Before I kicked my ass into gear 2 weeks ago, I was feeling more stressed and more depressed than I am now. I feel proud and accomplished and in control. I love that feeling. I don't want to let it slip away- it can dissipate so quickly with just one choice. It's not worth it.

---

[Help] Buting bronkaid in the US
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW:118.2 (-10) GW:95 | BMI 22.3 | Female]
Created: Thu Apr 14 12:34:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4esku9/buting_bronkaid_in_the_us/
---
Anyone have any tips? I'm 20, but in Oklahoma so not sure if I'll be able to buy it from a Walgreens or CVS

---

[Discussion] Just completed a 102hr (mostly) water fast and thought I'd share some thoughts! {and new LW!}
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 14 12:24:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4esj72/just_completed_a_102hr_mostly_water_fast_and/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] so frustrated i want to cry - preventing a binge, help
/u/euripidest [5"1 | 79 | 14.9 | -38 | f]
Created: Thu Apr 14 12:16:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eshsp/so_frustrated_i_want_to_cry_preventing_a_binge/
---
i've been doing so perfectly, no horrid binges and purges constantly all day every day, since last thursday, and yes i lost some weight but this morning i was up a pound and i'm up another pound tonight, despite only eating 700 max calories and being a very active student who walks to burn off 200 calories minimum per day

i'm literally at my wits end, all i have energy to do is sleep and lie about, my studies are so hard and i have no capacity for anything more than a couple of hours work at a time, and not even anything to show for it

i don't even know why this is upsetting me so much because i don't even want to lose much more weight, i don't know what my GW is but maybe 80lbs, so there's no rush, i just feel FATTER even though i know it's not possible and it makes me want to shovel my face with everything in the kitchen and vomit because screw it i'm fat anyway

:'(

---

[Other] I want to feel weightless, that should be enough
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Apr 14 11:53:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4esdoa/i_want_to_feel_weightless_that_should_be_enough/
---
http://youtu.be/qsP_Yz4KILg

---

[Tip] Games and challenges with yourself.
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Apr 14 10:38:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4es03s/games_and_challenges_with_yourself/
---
Does anyone else have a little challenge where they'll say to themselves something like,

"If I eat anything more today I will suddenly balloon to 300lbs"

Or pretending the next time you snack will kill you and seeing if your life is worth more than a snack pack of popcorn?

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Apr 14 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ertlo/daily_food_diary_april_14_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 14, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Discussion] that ED moment when...
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 09:13:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4erl9l/that_ed_moment_when/
---
...the elastic belt on your dress is too big for you waist. On one hand I look kinda sloppy, on the other hand, *niiiiiiiccce*.

Anyone have any similar positive ED moments/milestones? Like watches that used to fit are now too big for your wrists? Leggings that used to be skin tight are now baggy? People passing out fattysnacks instinctively avoid you because they know you'll say no?

lets reflect on the GOOD stuff!

personal note: 113lbs today! this was the weight I was called scrawny, and if I can avoid binges, I might even be 112lbs in time for the party/bbq! hurray!

---

[Other] Why I love shadows..
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Thu Apr 14 09:08:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4erkgk/why_i_love_shadows/
---
http://imgur.com/SAyc6RH

---

[Rant/Rave] Stress: The best diet on the market.
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 08:52:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4erhid/stress_the_best_diet_on_the_market/
---
Since I found out we might be losing our house on Friday I've lost 3 pounds. Food holds no appeal to me. My anxiety is in overdrive, and I feel like the only control I have in my life right now is my diet. I guess that's a silver lining... I don't see this situation getting better any time soon, so maybe I'll just waste away into nothingness.

---

[Discussion] How are everyone's April goals going?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 08:48:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ergro/how_are_everyones_april_goals_going/
---
Guys, tomorrow we are halfway through April. How are you all doing hitting your goals?

I hoped to see the 120s by May, but I'm not sure I'm going to make it. I haven't lost more than a pound a week in a long time and I've only got two more weeks. Going to try to cut calories even more and see if I can make it.

I haven't binged all month, and I think if I can not binge, I can also cut more calories. Right? Theoretically?

On another note, I'm finally catching up on two seasons of The Mindy Project I hadn't seen and my goodness this show is such thinspo. I love Mindy Lahiri in so many ways, but the woman eats everything she sees and inspires me to do better.

---

[Goal] My sister canceled our lunch date
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 08:24:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ercy4/my_sister_canceled_our_lunch_date/
---
NO FOOD YAY. Haha I tore up some cheezits so I'm gonna fast as much as possible now that I'm not going out. And i drank all of the really caloric booze last night so all I'll have is whiskey. Double win.

---

[Rant/Rave] I just purged successfully for the first time...
/u/RomanReyGod [Height 5'4"| CW 148.8| BMI (New) 26.04 :( | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 08:22:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4erckn/i_just_purged_successfully_for_the_first_time/
---
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I was having a good few weeks, then today, someone brought in oreos and I just couldn't stop myself. I probably ate like 8 of them, and I just lost it I guess. It just felt like so much food and... I really don't know. I'm just in a weird state of mind now, so I'm not sure what I want from this post.Thanks for reading.

---

[Rant/Rave] Yup, thanks internet stranger, you're right, I've NEVER had an eating disorder and my meticulous calorie counts must somehow be WAY off. That explains why I've lost 40+ pounds in 2-3 months. [fixed link]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 14 08:10:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eramy/yup_thanks_internet_stranger_youre_right_ive/
---
https://np.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/4eq2gx/thermodynamics_go_to_hell_again/d22had0?context=3

---

[Discussion] How do I get out of dinner?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 07:54:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4er83b/how_do_i_get_out_of_dinner/
---
I am meant to make dinner with a friend tonight for the Democratic debate that's going to be on TV... I just don't want to break my fast yet. I'm on 36 hours now. I'm not ready to give it up... I just feel bad changing plans on her like that...

How can I tell her "oh yeah I'm not eating so you have to find your own dinner"?

I would feel angry if someone hust went on changing plans like this... UGhGGhh

---

[Rant/Rave] Yup, thanks internet stranger, you're right, I've NEVER had an eating disorder and my meticulous calorie counts must somehow be WAY off. That explains why I've lost 40+ pounds in 2-3 months.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 14 07:53:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4er7y1/yup_thanks_internet_stranger_youre_right_ive/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/4eq2gx/thermodynamics_go_to_hell_again/d22had0?context=3

---

[Other] DAE like to eat their meals out of teacups?
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 129.0 | 20.13 | -41 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 07:48:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4er77i/dae_like_to_eat_their_meals_out_of_teacups/
---
It makes me feel dainty because it's a tiny container, but also makes the meal look more filling and bigger than it really is since it fills up more of the container.

I also like to eat with teaspoons for a similar reason.

---

[Help] Caffeine addiction?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 07:36:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4er5fl/caffeine_addiction/
---
I wake up naturally at 6 am every morning without fail, so I don't need caffeine for extra energy. I'm just looking for something to make skipping breakfast a little easier, but I'm worried about becoming dependent on caffeine. I don't want to be like my English teacher, he is absolutely not functional without his 32 ounce thermos full of coffee.

People who drink coffee or tea, or take caffeine supplements, what is your experience? Have you had to increase your dosage in order to keep feeling the effects, to the point where you have to use it every day to feel normal? If you skip a day, do you feel terrible?

---

[Other] MRW I say how happy I am to have collar bones and my therapist responds "you didn't have them before?", when I clearly meant *visible* collar bones
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 07:22:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4er3ad/mrw_i_say_how_happy_i_am_to_have_collar_bones_and/
---
http://i.imgur.com/j8eMIiN.gifv

---

[Goal] Feeling strong, armed with a day's worth of food and some anti-binge nail polish!
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 07:19:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4er2vh/feeling_strong_armed_with_a_days_worth_of_food/
---
http://imgur.com/qnUdBeX

---

[Help] When do I get my thigh gap?
/u/holloday [5'7" | 123 | 19.2 | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 07:05:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4er0we/when_do_i_get_my_thigh_gap/
---
I'm 3 pounds away from being officially "underweight" and I still don't have a thigh gap. Seems unfair 😭

---

[Other] I don't know what to do.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 07:02:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4er0fu/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
---
Yesterday I saw my doctor. As I guessed, she recommended inpatient treatment very strongly, we talked about half an hour about that. I told her that I really wouldn't like to go, but agreed to go visit and see the ward next Wednesday, and make my decision after that. If I were to go, it would start two-three weeks from now and I would be there for 1-3 months.

The way I see it, I got two options:

Stay home and really make an effort to get better, but with my own rules. I could start eating at maintenance or surplus and work out more. I work out about 5 hours per week now, I could up it to 7. I might gain some muscle so I wouldn't look fat even if I gained weight. I could eat just more protein and veggies and maybe full-grain carbohydrates.

The problems with this plan: I have been eating a bit more since last Saturday, and have already gained 4 pounds and I'm not sure I can deal with that(even if it's most probably just water and food weight). I really would like to lose more weight. And I'm not sure if I can stop binging and purging on my own.

Plan two: I could agree to go inpatient, and try to lose as much weight as I possibly could before that - that way I could perhaps see 92 or even 90. There I simply couldn't binge and purge, and I'm unbelievably tired with this cycle and I'm not sure I can stop it on my own. I could really try to get better while inpatient.

Problems with this plan: I'm a very private person, and there wouldn't be that much privacy there. I would have to eat "normal" food, and that would mean a lot of carbohydrates and other stuff I really rather wouldn't eat. I'm also guessing that I couldn't exercise there as much as I would like to, so I would just gain fat, not muscle.

I just don't know what to do.

---

[Rant/Rave] Why, why, why?!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Apr 14 06:18:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4equvh/why_why_why/
---
It's going on for 9 days now; my binging I mean. I got my period too so yay, even more emotions to deal with. I didn't even try to purge after binging today, it feels pointless. From 121 (my second goalweight, underweight BMI!) to, yes, really 127.

Dear me, I hate you. I thought you were better than this.

---

[Help] Exercising while fasting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 14 06:10:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eqtue/exercising_while_fasting/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support April 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Apr 14 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eqswc/weekly_emotional_support_april_14_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Help] Reached my goal (early!) and I'm fucking terrified
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.9 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 03:20:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eqcl2/reached_my_goal_early_and_im_fucking_terrified/
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tl;dr how do I become okay with maintaining without turning it into an all out binge-fest?

---

A little bit ago I made this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e548n/this_weekend_was_a_bust_per_usual_but_im_so/) saying that I planned on being below 58 kg by Friday.

Well I beat my goal by a day! But it's bittersweet because this is the third time I've reached this weight, and for the last 2 times I ended up bingeing for a week (or more) because I was "maintaining." Each time I clawed my way back and while I love the feeling of restricting, I can't handle the self-loathing that comes before it.

It's like my brain doesn't know how to be happy without restricting. When I restrict, I feel so confident and in control. I feel more connected to my body and like I'm experiencing the world in HD. Plus, sex is a-ma-zing.

I don't know how to be okay with not seeing the numbers on the scale go down every morning, but I (for the most part) love how my body looks at this weight.

I hate this all-or-nothing mentality. For now I'm going to continue my original plan, that way I have more wiggle room for celebrating on Friday. But to those that have reached their goal weight and were satisfied with it, how did you mentally become okay with maintaining?

---

[Intro] Hi, just joined, second post :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 14 03:06:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eqbcm/hi_just_joined_second_post/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Why is it so hard to maintain once I plateau?
/u/p7entifull [63"| 100|17.7 | -17| F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 02:57:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eqak1/why_is_it_so_hard_to_maintain_once_i_plateau/
---
Agh!! I was doing so so wonderfully! But then I got stuck at 100 flat for weeks. And so I drank too much and had way too much fun and now it's catching up with me.

One hundred and seven pounds.

I feel so heavy and tired and overwhelmingly nasty.

Gross. Whelp. Tomorrow is a new day. Black coffee and bronkaid and la croix for me!!

---

[Discussion] I browse the supermarket like a clothes shop
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 02:18:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eq75m/i_browse_the_supermarket_like_a_clothes_shop/
---
Does anyone else do this?

In topshop or whatever, you'll wander about, pick things up, have a look/feel, put them down etc. Spend a half hour in there.

I do this in the local grocery too. Popping out for a pint for a pint of milk isn't a thing. I'm there for ages, browsing the aisles, looking at things, comparing them.

Thankfully, normally I'm not buying them.....

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[Rant/Rave] Decrease in motivation and endurance
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 95 | 15.9 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 00:38:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4epycr/decrease_in_motivation_and_endurance/
---
So it seems that as my weight is dropping I'm feeling less motivated and more apathetic about everything. I also get tired much more easily. That I understand, if I eat less I have less fuel to run on, so I burn out faster. Which I'm fine with because I'm still losing weight and feel better when restricting anyway.

Work has been really rough lately. I'm currently searching for a new job because the situation has gone to shit... And it's not in my head- a lot of managers have quit, management is running itself into the ground. And we're getting a new GM (the current one is okay but the new one is horrible... No respect for his employees and works us like dogs with no appreciation.) I feel I've overstayed my welcome at that job and need to get out ASAP. But I'm struggling to see the point of even getting a new job. Why not just quit and do nothing? Lock myself away where I'm not around food constantly, not being judged constantly, and not have to bother with anything. And best of all not having to worry about taking lunch breaks. I know I can't do that, though... Something about working changes you. You know once you get in the door you can't stop. Any gaps in employment are viewed negatively. And I need the money. I know that doing that would be fucking stupid but...

Everything's felt so fuzzy lately. Like life has just gotten colder, grayer, and more pointless. Like yeah I've got lots of important things to worry about. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much and 2 pet rabbits to take care of. And I need to pull my own weight in the world. But I have no energy or motivation to do so. I'd rather just curl up in a blanket and forget anything I haven't already forgotten because of how spacey my brain is. I've just stopped caring about things... I've stopped caring about my appearance- why bother, I just look like shit no matter what. I've stopped caring about my hobbies- I love baking treats but why bother when I'm not going to eat them and what I can't give to friends or family will just rot and be wasted anyway. I've even stopped caring about people and socializing. It's just another drain, another area where I have to put up a false front and pretend to be okay.

What I'm wondering is... Is this lack of motivation a normal part of restriction and having an eating disorder or is this depression (or a mix of the two?) I've struggled with depression on and off since I was 12 and have no idea if this is a consequence of the abuse I'm putting my body through or if my depression has worsened. I feel lost and dead and want input from some of you guys... Which I'm sure are going through the same/ similar things.

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[Rant/Rave] Just a few thoughts before I go to bed.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Apr 14 00:06:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4epv9b/just_a_few_thoughts_before_i_go_to_bed/
---
* Fasting after eating a lot/normally for several days is really fucking hard! My mom and her boyfriend visited from Thursday-Sunday and I ate when they ate. Smaller quantities than what they ate, but still, WAY more than I typically eat. I fasted on Monday to try and flush it all out in a way and let me tell you, fasting is so much easier when you've been restricting for 2-3 days beforehand. Monday was a rough day.

* My tall boots (riding boots) have gotten really loose on me! I mean, they're supposed to be skin tight. When they properly fit, I can barely fit my finger in between the boot and my leg. But now I can stick my hand all the way to the bottom of my knuckles down my boots. I think I might need new boots o.O???

* I'm going to Washington DC Friday-Sunday with my mom and her boyfriend. UGH. It'll just undo all the progress I've made this week, making up for all the food I ate over the weekend! On the bright side, my flight gets in Friday afternoon, so I'll only really have to eat dinner. I'll be there all day Saturday, however, I have my own hotel room so I really will only have to eat dinner with them unless they make plans including me during the day. Maybe I'll just tell them I still have homework to do. On Sunday my flight is in the morning so I could probably fast all day if I really wanted to...

* My ankles have gotten really bony and it's kind of uncomfortable when I sleep on my side :|

* I've said it before and I'll say it again - school sucks the life out of me. Who knew using your brain took so much energy out of you (sarcasm). Seriously, school makes me so ravenous. I just drink coffee when I get hungry but it's miserable. Sigh. 4 weeks until finals! 4 weeks until I can just wake up, drink coffee, ride my horse then stay home all day drinking more coffee!

And with that, good night friends!

---

[Goal] Positive positive positive
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Wed Apr 13 23:56:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4epu8r/positive_positive_positive/
---
A lot has been going on. A lot of changes... and I'm hoping perhaps to make it a "fresh" start, even though I've said this to myself before. I just moved into a new, and very spacious, beautiful apartment with a really positive vibe, with my sister and her boyfriend. I'm laying here thinking to myself that tomorrow will be a good day and only good things are to come from here on out. I'm hoping this new place will help motivate me towards my goals. There is even a really nice kitchen and perhaps I can cook myself my own food! My emotions have been all over the place and probably a great big contribution to my binging, but I'm hoping to try and stay positive and really kick start myself into committing to my goals this time... I really fucking want to be better....



Thank you for letting me share.

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[Rant/Rave] Just need to cry
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 23:19:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4epq58/just_need_to_cry/
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I'm currently calm but about to just break out in tears. I have no patience to lose this weight. I'm so fat. I only did half the exercise I planned on doing and had 850 Cal instead of less than 700, which is my comfort level. I feel so sick. I can't stand looking at myself or thinking about myself. I can't sleep. All I'll be thinking of is my fat fat whale like body. I feel so bad being next to my SO while sleeping. They shouldn't have to be next to my body at all. I just needed to type this out into the internet before I go and cry again.

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[Other] [TW] Reverse Thinspo - Listen to her wheeze
/u/mirandaxo [5'6" | CW 55 kgs | GW 40kgs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 22:20:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4epjcq/tw_reverse_thinspo_listen_to_her_wheeze/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA-KBomm6MQ

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[Other] Not sure how to feel....
/u/scarletbegonia_ [5'5 | 117.8 | 19.83 | -15 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 22:07:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ephpi/not_sure_how_to_feel/
---
So I had a weird kind-of binge today. Some of my friends went out, but I decided to stay in even though I didn't really have any homework or studying to do. Instead, I took the opportunity to do some laundry, read a book, take a long, hot shower, and smoke the rest of my weed. I then proceeded to go to my kitchen back and forth several times throughout the night for little snacks. I assume it was around ~500 cals worth, which would put me at 1400 for the day (which is maintenance for me). But it was weird, because despite the amount of calories, it didn't really feel like a binge. I enjoyed everything and didn't ever feel out of control or guilty. I've also consistently weighed in between 111-109 for the past 3 days, which means I'm hovering around finally being technically underweight. I guess I'm starting to feel a little bit happy with where I'm at. It's been such a long time since I've felt happy with who I am, I almost don't even recognize this feeling anymore. I'm sure it won't last, but it's nice to have it for however long it's here I guess.

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[Discussion] binging on foods you don't normally eat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 13 21:45:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4epeps/binging_on_foods_you_dont_normally_eat/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Got my wisdom teeth removed today, and rather than being scared of the pain I'm just excited that I have an excuse not to eat much...
/u/operaoxide [5'8" | 187.9 | 28.6 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 21:26:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4epc0q/got_my_wisdom_teeth_removed_today_and_rather_than/
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All I've eaten today was an 80 calorie applesauce pouch and a 50 calorie sugar free pudding cup and lots and lots of water. I'm kind of excited that I get to use this excuse for nearly a week. Anyone else feel like this after a medical procedure?

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[Help] Accountability
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 21:07:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ep9cy/accountability/
---
I really need a community to engage with. I can't focus on anything, I'm so discouraged from sticking to my goals because I feel like I've fallen so far behind and yet at the same time I have all of the terrible disordered thoughts making me feel awful for not staying with my goals. I just need to get them away by actually losing weight.

Tomorrow, I will have no more than 200 calories and I will go to the gym. Please, please, please hold me accountable for this. I need to do this to feel better.

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[Rant/Rave] I guess this is real? Was kind of hoping I would snap out of it. [Totally useless ramble]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 13 20:34:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ep48f/i_guess_this_is_real_was_kind_of_hoping_i_would/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Help...kitchen paranoia
/u/Angrycinderella
Created: Wed Apr 13 20:32:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ep41s/helpkitchen_paranoia/
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I have this terrible anxiety/paranoia trying to eat in the kitchen or wherever and being walked in on. Does this happen to anyone else? It happens constantly with family, I've experienced it with roommates, my SO...

I just get so upset. I really prefer to eat alone. I feel like the way I eat is weird. But I hate that it gets to me, and I wish I could stop it. I hate waiting until someone goes to the bathroom or until everyone goes to bed to eat, and then I scramble to put whatever I have away or shove it in my mouth when I hear them coming. Whenever I get caught I become almost furious. Maybe I'm just hungry and upset...


Has anyone felt this as well and have any advice on how to overcome it?

Edit: Sorry I don't have any flair, on mobile.

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[Other] In an unconventional way
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 20:04:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eozm9/in_an_unconventional_way/
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I self harm. I beat my self on my legs without realizing it. I get bruises easy. So I kinda look like a battered lady but shit my hips yall. I fell down barring out the other day so that's nasty looking but I look at all the beating I've given myself lately and its really kinda fucked. When I get upset or worried or i mess up i beat my right thigh. It's wierd. And i look so gross. Just needed to share that. I'm sorry yall. My legs are purple but I'm white as a sheet.

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[Help] i always get this "anxious" feeling when preparing food
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 124.5 | 21.65 | F | 27y]
Created: Wed Apr 13 17:39:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eodr8/i_always_get_this_anxious_feeling_when_preparing/
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a few years ago when i was at my lw, i started to binge heavily. and ever since, whenever i am hungry and making food i get into this anxious frenzy as i am cooking. it's hard to explain but my heart starts racing, and i want to eat more than i have planned, i just cannot stand the hunger feelings. it's super hard for me not to open the fridge and plow thru it. it's basically the same emotions i had when i was bingeing but all i'm making is a cucumber salad with cheese so wtf is my mind doing? i also scarf down the food and barely chew so...i act as if i was bingeing but instead of eating 20 twix i eat a ton of "normal" stuff insanely fast.

i noticed that when i am doing low carb after a while i don't get these issues and i even can enjoy being hungry so maybe it's insulin related? what do i know.

so i try to not cook when i am hungry because i find it so hard to control portions when i am in that state. but...sometimes i can't avoid it. it's driving me insane. am i insane? i was doing fine a few weeks ago but now i have insane issues restricting and i don't know what changed. well except for the carbs.

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[Rant/Rave] I can't do this anymore
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 17:35:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eod4e/i_cant_do_this_anymore/
---
Honestly the only reason I binge is to feel the dopamine release that you get when you eat. I binge all day everyday until it hurts and then I purge until I'm sobbing on the bathroom floor and then I go and binge again. I binge at work, I binge at home.

I get home from work and I binge and then I sleep all day. I don't have enough energy to leave my house or even my bed most days but I drag myself up for work just because I need money. That's the only thing I can convince myself to leave my house for.

I loathe myself so much. I'll fast for a week and faint almost daily and then I'll binge for a month and gain all of the weight back. Honestly self-harming might be better and more stable for me than this, bruising myself and cutting my legs. I can't eat a normal amount of calories ever. It's either 4000 or 100.

Why can't I be a normal person and not hate myself and have so much anxiety around food? I almost had a panic attack at Wegmans the other day trying to decide if I should buy apples or not and there were too many people there. Taking my meds make it easier to fast but it also lowers my blood pressure and it numbs everything but I sleep for 20 hours a day and cry all the time.

I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired. So tired. I just don't want to exist anymore. Life is so hard. I'm losing this game. I'm going to bed.

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[Discussion] DAE sweat when they binge?
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 17:07:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eo8ug/dae_sweat_when_they_binge/
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I binged on an entire bag of Multigrain chips last night. Before I started I was chilly, but like halfway through I was so warm I seriously started sweating. Is this a thing?

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[Intro] Hello again!
/u/morphingmeg [5'4" | 147 | 25.73 | -83 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 15:21:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ens6d/hello_again/
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Hello everyone!

 


I'm not sure how many of you remember me, but I was fairly active about 7 months ago, after my brother died I wound up just maintaining while I processed everything, but I've been back to my old routine for about a month now and creeping on the boards a lot, so I figured I'd reintroduce myself before I just start commenting again. I'm not sure how to flair on mobile but will flair this as soon as I get to my laptop!


 


Thanks for reading!

 


Meg

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[Discussion] Everyone, what's something that sounds good, that you're craving now or regret having eaten recently? Everyone else, describe that thing in the most revolting way possible.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 15:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4enou2/everyone_whats_something_that_sounds_good_that/
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e.g. Gravy!

> Congealed liquid, flour-thickened fat. Looks like someone already ate it, shat it out and then stirred in extra bits of lard.

I was going to ask someone do Caesar dressing for me but I think [Urban Dictionary](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tossing+a+caesar+salad) was pretty successful.

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[Goal] 5 day fast starting on the 18th
/u/scaredalternate
Created: Wed Apr 13 14:54:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ennkw/5_day_fast_starting_on_the_18th/
---
I've never posted here, this is also an alternate account because my main is known by people I know.

I've been struggling a lot with weight, I was put on medication over a year ago for depression, and it made me gain 120 pounds in 9 months, as well as caused a few health concerns. I was so skinny 2 years ago, and now I'm so fat. I was 5'6'' and ranging around 110-120 pounds.

I do a 24 hour fast 5 times a week or more, no binging, and I purge only with laxatives because of a fear of vomit. I eat 1 meal a day, usually low in calories, I probably average 400-500 calories or less a day. The scale at the doctors says I am still my original weight, while my scale at home which used to be considered reliable says I've lost 20 pounds in the last year. This is a disappointing amount considering how much work I've put into losing weight, especially if the doctors scale is right.

The worrying part is I am still showing side effects and the doctors are noticing, my blood work shows I am deficient in a few things, and they want me to go back next week to get a new test because I must have not eaten or drank anything that day (I did not but I lied) and they want me to make sure I eat and drink a lot before the appointment.

I can't fast on weekends unless I stay home, usually I go to my families though, and if I don't eat I will be questioned due to my past history. After this weekend I want to fast every week day. I've gone longer before but that was a while ago, normally I do 2-3 days. I think I can do it though, I will use the excuse that I have no money to go out for lunch or dinner so nobody at school questions me, other than that I will be alone at home where I can distract myself and right now my fridge is empty of food (on purpose) so I won't even think of eating.

I really don't know what I meant by this post, I just wanted to say it somewhere so maybe I will have more reason to do it, I wanted to validate myself, and all of you to know how fat I am and how shit I am at losing weight. I don't know.

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[Discussion] What are the perfect measurements?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 14:09:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4enfia/what_are_the_perfect_measurements/
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In your opinion, what are the ideal measurements? Any body part (wrist, chest, hip, waist, thigh, etc) and any unit of measurement (inches, cm, hand measurements, etc).

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[Help] Things that take a LONG TIME to eat
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 14:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ene4w/things_that_take_a_long_time_to_eat/
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What do you guys like to eat that takes a really long time to chew and finish, especially low-carb ideas? I used to eat shaped pastas one at a time, and sometimes snack on corn on the cob by twisting one kernel off at a time. And I love gummy candy, toffee, basically anything that takes a long time to chew. But I need more chewy ideas that aren't carbs! Jerky definitely works but argh the salt.

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[Rant/Rave] So you know how we hide these things about ourselves as much as we can?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 13:59:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4endox/so_you_know_how_we_hide_these_things_about/
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I come here and rant and rave a lot haha. I'm a restrictive occasional b/p-er. I hide my binges, but those binges include super caloric drinks like rumchata white russians. I just made a second while my bf isn't here and the little one is napping. It's not that I'm drunk, but I thought his car pulled in the driveway and I jumped because I felt like he'd be disappointed about my lunch. He has no idea that this is lunch lol. But I seriously almost rushed to hide my glass and was like wtf. Wtf rainbow. He's your brutally honest lover. CHILL. so I'm on glass 2 and stopping there till little ones actual bedtime. My cals are at 900, I assume both rumchata russians equal out to 600kcal. So yeah. That's my little rave.

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[Other] Lol an image to hopefully make you giggle. Any don't trust the b fans?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 13 13:39:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ena3x/lol_an_image_to_hopefully_make_you_giggle_any/
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http://i.imgur.com/vW3uqcl.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] My Fitbit arrived! My scale was completely wrong!
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 13:35:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4en9eq/my_fitbit_arrived_my_scale_was_completely_wrong/
---
I bought a Fitbit Alta watch and the Aria scale. I've been wanting to know if my scale was accurate or not for a while, and I don't want to use the body fat things at the gym all the time. I love all of the data it gives me and j feel this will really help me speed things along! Unfortunately my old scale was off, turns out I'm still only 158.2 instead of 154 like I thought I was, which is disappointing. Does that mean my starting weight of 162 was more like 167 or was that all a lie too? Having 32.3% BF is totally vexing for me and I'm determined to bring that way down. Like that's so nasty, about 51 lbs of nasty fat surrounding me. I know I need some for my brain and to protect my organs but I just want it all gone! Brb going to be obsessing over this for a while... :/ at least there's a starting point that's accurate now.

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[Rant/Rave] guys...why did I do that...
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 13:21:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4en6xc/guyswhy_did_i_do_that/
---
Why did I eat that fucking Bavarian creme donut? Granted, that makes my lunch time cals lower than what it would have been had I eaten my planned lunch (440 versus 370), but I'm still annoyed. My planned lunch would have at least kept me satisfied until dinner, but now my body is going to burn through all that sugar and I'm going to be hangry by 5:30 pm.

I kept walking by the donut, practically eye fucking it. Then my co-worked moved it from outside of his office to the break room and I just...grabbed it before I could stop myself.

Don't get me wrong, it was hella good, but all I can think about is how hungry I'm going to be later, and how that's a perfect set up for a dinner-binge.

*sigh* If I can trick myself, maybe I can coast though the hangry phase and avoid the dinner binge by focusing on completing a low cal day. Instead of 1200-1300 cals, my day will only be 1000 cals.

fuck. FUCK. Its not the donut or the calories, its the deviation from my plan.

Positive thinking, I need to turn this lemon in to zero cal lemon water! ;-)

---

[Thinspo] Thinspo on SNAPCHAT? Who do you follow?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 13 13:05:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4en45q/thinspo_on_snapchat_who_do_you_follow/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Laxatives in public places... ugh gross...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 13:00:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4en3bk/laxatives_in_public_places_ugh_gross/
---
My laxative decided to wait 12 hours to kick in instead of the usual 6-8... ugh. I thought it wouldn't kick in at all this morning (possibly built a tolerance or something idk what I was thinking), so I decided to go out and be a person.

I can't believe it. Now I'm sitting in a public bathroom with a terrible case of mud-butt. This suuuccks. I'm embarrassed to hell...

Someone tell me an embarrassing story so I don't feel so bad please? :(

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[Discussion] what are things someone could say that, if you didn't have your ED, wouldn't bother you?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Apr 13 12:26:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4emxg0/what_are_things_someone_could_say_that_if_you/
---
my husband just told me my boobs are a great size and they'd look bad on a skinny woman. i also remember a kid making fun of my belly behind my back in 9th grade. like i can't remember what i did a week ago but i remember that

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[Other] I just failed an exam
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 121.2 lbs | 24.93 | -20.8 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 12:21:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4emwg0/i_just_failed_an_exam/
---
I just failed an exam. I usually call my parents after each exam but I don't even know how to right now.

I also are breakfast this morning, even though I binged last night. I tried to excuse it because I had an anxiety attack about the exam + the fact that it's hitting me that I actually might have an eating disorder. It was pretty big too.

It's so funny because even though I started developing one, my marks have gone up and my social life has gotten better (but that's making it worse since my friends want to go eat together).

I'm babbling but the point is that I feel like I don't deserve to eat again. At least not until after my next exam on Saturday. And I have to do well on that.

Who would have thought failure could be so motivating?

---

[Help] A friend said I had an eating disorder and you know, I think he might be right, and I don't care.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 13 12:04:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4emta3/a_friend_said_i_had_an_eating_disorder_and_you/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Since joining this sub...have your ED behaviors changed?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Wed Apr 13 11:17:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eml41/since_joining_this_subhave_your_ed_behaviors/
---
I'm just curious because even though I've been b/p, restricting for 16 some years, I randomly have small time windows where I can lose a lot of weight and be thin. The majority of the time, I hoover around 110-115 while being bulimic and being miserable.


I was thinking back to my lower weights (sub 110 lbs), and I seemed to be more involved in ED communities online at those times. It helps remind me of my goals, wanting to meet them, and that accountability factor. I also like competition...before reddit, it was mostly Livejournal. But when I'm not active on a thread/sub, I tend to fall into long grazing and b/p patterns that don't help me with anything in life.


Before I joined this subreddit in August 2015, I bounced around 108-115 for YEARS and was miserable because I was stuck in a b/p cycle. Now...I'm still miserable, but at least I'm making "progress". It was almost instant. Posting stats and reading posts on here somehow helped me tame by habits of b/p until 2 am in the morning. I was constantly bloated, tired and soft.


I'm not saying I'm better or worse. Just different. This sub didn't make my ED worse, it just supports me in a way that aligns with being more "functional" and "less miserable" with an ED.

---

[Discussion] DAE honestly not know what they look like?
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'3.5| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 11:10:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4emjvh/dae_honestly_not_know_what_they_look_like/
---
(NB: I don't have an eating disorder, just a messed up relationship with food and body image)

I've always compared myself and been compared to other people and growing up in a (mostly) Asian family, I was always the biggest (HW: 140). When I started going to college I would notice tiny girls but for the most part I would say I am in the skinnier 50%. I don't know if this is just my school or the general population in the South. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I will like what I see but other times I can't believe how thick my thighs and hips are and it makes me want to cry. This would be hours apart and I know my body can't change that quickly, but maybe my mirror is warped and I saw a skinnier version of myself? Does anyone else feel this way? I'm not sure which is real and if I should be happy with how I am or keep improving

---

[Thinspo] Inga Volkosh ✨
/u/pumpkin-poodle [5'3" | 84.8 | 15.44 (new BMI) | -66.2 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 11:09:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4emjqm/inga_volkosh/
---
https://sli.mg/a/Zs1aqp

---

[PSA] Reminder: This is not a diet/motivation sub.
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | too fat | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 11:07:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4emjgq/psa_reminder_this_is_not_a_dietmotivation_sub/
---
As we grow and gain new members, this is something that needs to be periodically said.

Eating disorders are sadly misunderstood in our society. Media often portrays it as the young teenage girl that wants the perfect magazine cover body, so she skips lunch every day. But the reality is far more complex, oftentimes dark, and serious than that image allows.

Eating disorders ARE mental illnesses, plain and simple. If you haven't already, please take a moment to check out the [proED wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/faq) and familiarize yourself with the different types of eating disorders.

We understand that some of you here may not identify as having an ED in any of it's various forms, and we believe that's okay. We invite you to read and gain some understanding of what it's like to exist with this type of mental illness. We welcome you to be supportive. What we do not welcome, however, is treating this sub as a dieting and weightloss sub. We are not a "get thin quick" route to your dream body. If you read even a few of the posts here, you will see that eating disorders are often not about weight at all, but about control, self-worth, compulsion, or any other number of factors.

Occasionally, posts are made here asking for tips to lose a couple pounds, while in the same breath explaining that we are such an inspiration, that you don't have an ED, that you'd love to have our will power, our "tricks"... Without intending to do so, these types of posts are negating our lives and our illnesses. Out of respect, we do ask that you follow our rules: **We are NOT a diet sub. Asking for dieting tips or asking how to become disordered is not allowed, and will result in the removal of your posts and comments.** There are many subs out there that can help non-disordered people make healthy choices and plans to meet their weight loss goals. Please check the side bar for links to those subreddits. Remember, THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM!

Again, we welcome your presence among us, disordered or not. Your awareness helps to destigmatize our illness and that's a powerful thing! Please don't fall prey to that teenage girl skipping lunch mind set though. This is not something anyone should strive for, not something anyone should want. It is painful, both physically and mentally. It is lonely and isolating. It makes you feel powerless. We can not help you achieve what you think is perfection, because for us, nothing will EVER be perfect.

TL;DR: This is not a diet/motivation sub. No one but your doctor can tell you if you have an eating disorder or not. If you do not experience disordered eating, and you are here to lose weight fast, this is not the sub for you.

---

[Intro] Intro
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | 106 | 18.40 |-12.4 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 10:40:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4emew2/intro/
---
So, yes after long hesitation, and making comments with my regular account and then deleting them out of fear anyone looks at my profile, I made one just for this sub!

I'm a 20 y/o STEM field student, and I've been struggling with ED behaviour for about 5 years now..

I never liked eating, I was in a fashion school, I was always afraid & terrified to gain weight (also because of my thyroid problems), but I think what really triggered this whole thing was a manipulative and abusive relationship with a guy, who always ate junk food, and candy and stuff like that, so I started to fast during the week, so I would not gain during the weekend.. idk..

The same time it started to get a bit out of hand, a close friend of mine developed anorexia, and another one was at the brick of it too (as I said, fashion school, it was pretty common) and I kind of went along..

Anyways, tl;dr, I am here, and I have already seen how supportive and nice this community is, so I am looking forward to talking with you all :)

edit: btw I also have mfp, same name as here! if anyone want to see my misery xP

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[Help] How do you NOT binge after a fast day???
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed Apr 13 10:04:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4em8w7/how_do_you_not_binge_after_a_fast_day/
---
I love fasting, I love the way it makes me feel and sometimes I just don't want to eat. But I almost always end up binging the next day, so it just doesn't feel worth it. How do you keep yourself to a low cal day the next day?

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Apr 13 10:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4em8i3/daily_food_diary_april_13_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 13, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] ugh i'm such a fatty fat fatty
/u/moonraven6661 [5'5|288.2 lbs|BMI 48|F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 09:49:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4em6a0/ugh_im_such_a_fatty_fat_fatty/
---
i binged on 1000+ calories' worth of tater tot casserole. needless to say, i'm not eating the rest of the day. only tea and water for me.

---

[Rant/Rave] Victorious.
/u/Avadakaboom [5'8.5" | 148lbs | 22.5 | -81 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 09:43:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4em5cv/victorious/
---
I just baked 5 dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies and I only c&s one.

h2o, coffee, squat, squat, lunge, repeat.

---

[Goal] chest bones are where its at.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 09:37:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4em4dw/chest_bones_are_where_its_at/
---
I'm going to jump on the 'I love my (body part)' train.

113.5 this morning. Took a good look at myself in the mirror before I hopped in the shower and I'm REALLY digging my chest bones. Another body part I'm excited to see emerge are my [shoulder knobs.](http://imgur.com/6NhIFqQ) <--- not mine, just a visual representation.

When I straighten up my posture and engage my core, my torso bones (rib cage, clavicle, sternum) and musculature (abs, obliques, serratus anterior) are fairly visible. when I stretch up, they are very visible.

All in all I'm pleased with my progress. I'm finally started to feel like I'm a member of the 'petite club'.

---

[Rant/Rave] "missed" opportunities
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 110 | 18.8 | -7 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 09:31:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4em3al/missed_opportunities/
---
So I woke up about a half hour ago, as my boyfriend is getting ready for a shift he's covering. Some of my friends are going to the Ben & Jerry's Factory, 2 hours away, and I sleepily, tearily BEGGED him to go with me. They were leaving right then! I NEEDED ice cream, and ended up just crying on him before he left. It was a dramatic five minutes.

Now of course, I'm okay with it. I have a little oj, a bowl, a lot of painting supplies, AND I don't have to sit in the car for two hours. I thought I desperately wanted the ice cream, but I don't!

Missing this little trip has saved me easily 1000 empty calories! :) Which is good since I've been at 109.8 for almost a week now, despite fasting out mornings and most afternoons. :(

Do you guys feel this way about events too?

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[Rant/Rave] NSV I love my ribs!
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 09:07:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4elzbv/nsv_i_love_my_ribs/
---
I was just practicing my posture in the mirror - a totally normal thing I do to make sure I can hold my body in its skinniest position at all times - and realized that in most yoga positions my ribs are TOTALLY visible. Like, full rack of ribs below my bra all lined up in a gorgeous row.

I have been looking forward to this so much. The scale hasn't really moved in a while which is frustrating but this rib thing actually made me squeal and jump up and down and clap my hands today. Haha.

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[Tip] Sitting at a desk for 8 hours was driving me crazy so bought this
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 08:29:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eltbu/sitting_at_a_desk_for_8_hours_was_driving_me/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/476cf549a8e842b7ba12a20105297f1b?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=eaaace701229677a34716a8a42437161

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[Thinspo] My new favorite thinspo/crush: Syd tha Kid and her beautiful arms
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 13 07:59:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4elok1/my_new_favorite_thinspocrush_syd_tha_kid_and_her/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/DQ0HZ

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[Rant/Rave] Being short is the worst
/u/crapbeg
Created: Wed Apr 13 07:39:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4elliy/being_short_is_the_worst/
---
I hate being so short. My TDEE is like 1400 kcal and even when restricting, that means that I'm losing weight at around the same rate as someone could on a healthy, normal diet. I'll never achieve that graceful look that so many tall people have, and all the clothes I wear just makes me look lumpy. Being short is actually awful.

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[Goal] I'm gonna switch to 1200 a day
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Apr 13 07:35:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4elkvj/im_gonna_switch_to_1200_a_day/
---
As a 5"8 female, maybe it helps me a bit to get things on track, feel less hungry and cold and you know, be able to have a more normal life. I haven't been able to hang out with friends because jt's always food. I'd still lose, just not the 2 Lb a week.

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[Tip] Using mustard to slow eating
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.9 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 05:51:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4el6u8/using_mustard_to_slow_eating/
---
I love cucumbers. I can wolf down a whole one in like 10 seconds. My problem is that they're so light and refreshing it's hard to make them last. So lately I've been dipping them in dijon mustard. The burning sensation slows me down and makes me aware of every bite I take (plus, it's freaking delicious).

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[Discussion] ~TMI~ make me feel less gross please
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | 95.7 | 17.43 | -22 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 05:20:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4el3an/tmi_make_me_feel_less_gross_please/
---
Ok, so the past couple of days (weeks) have been shit blah blah blah, a lot of throwing up and a lot of concern about the wellbeing of the toilet drain. Which brings us to tonight, throwing up a lot of volume-heavy food. I just about finish up (didn't get everything tho fml), when I realise that the toilet bowl is pretty damn full, and I don't think that it will flush without fucking up the drain. So what do I do??? I briefly consider using the mouth-rinsing cup to transfer some contents to the sink, but then decide that is too far, even for me. So I take the plastic flowers out of the glass vase on the window ledge, and use that instead. After flushing, I proceed to scoop the contents of the sink back into the toilet using my hands, rinse the vase and replace the flowers. FUCK YEAH EATING DISORDERS.


Please tell me about all of the fucking filthy things you've done and make me feel like less of an animal. (Alternately, tell me not to be such a fat cow tomorrow. Both are fine.)

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[Intro] hi there?
/u/chubbibunniii [5'8 | 169 | BMI ? | -16 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 04:19:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ekxiq/hi_there/
---
Hi everyone. :) I've been lurking for a few months and finally decided to create a proED-only account and start posting. I figured that somehow it'd be helpful if I could actually engage with people who knew where I was coming from rather than just lurking around in the shadows.

I'm 21 and I live in Orlando. I've always been extremely uncomfortable in my skin but in high school, I ran across a thinspo tumblr and I guess it triggered something in me. I began restricting heavily and exercising daily and I shed about 30 pounds in a couple of months. My lowest weight was 148 and even though that may not sound extremely small, I felt tiny and "happy."

After some traumatizing events (thyroid cancer, surgery and having to leave school), I began binge eating. I didn't realize that I had a problem until this year (4+ years later..). My therapist helped me realize that I do indeed have an eating disorder (I'm still in denial even though she's a professional. Weird, right?) and just because I wasn't dizzy all the time and counting calories doesn't mean something isn't up.

So, after speaking with her, I was reeling over it for a couple of days. I began to really analyze my eating habits (and I was binging like CRAZY and often, too!). Then one day, I was asked to be a model for this makeup artist who wanted more traffic on her instagram or something. While we were taking photos (which I was already unhappy about because I hate when others take photos of me), she mentioned that tattoo chokers (I was wearing one) make people's faces look chubbier. As if my choker was making my face look chubby in the photos. Just a casual way of saying "Hey, you should take that off 'cause it's making your face look fat." I didn't react outright and played it cool but after that, I basically went back to restricting.

That was maybe a month or two ago and so far, I've lost around 10 pounds in all.. I've gained some back because of a weekend of binging. I honestly don't know what's going on right now. I've been restricting, fasting, binging... It's just been a mess.

I'm kind of currently in the mindset of "I'm not "sick enough" to have an ED and I don't look like I have one so nothing is wrong." However, between planned binges and fasts, having severe depression and anxiety.. I just feel like a huge messy blob. And I'm hoping maybe reaching out will help a little?

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[Tip] Omg. Monster has energydrink that has 2 calories per 100 ml
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 13 02:35:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eko7i/omg_monster_has_energydrink_that_has_2_calories/
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[deleted]

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Omg. Monster has energy drink that has 2 callories per 100 ml
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 13 02:34:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eko4x/omg_monster_has_energy_drink_that_has_2_callories/
---
[deleted]

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[Intro] Long time lurker, first time posting.
/u/my_body_my_rules [5'5 | 139 | 52.31 | 90ish lbs| female]
Created: Wed Apr 13 00:22:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ekcgc/long_time_lurker_first_time_posting/
---
[removed]

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[Help] Beating Binging after exercise
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 13 00:12:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ekbbt/beating_binging_after_exercise/
---
My bike ride today saw me biking into 20 mph headwinds for 3-4 miles and with diminished headwinds but uphill for another 3-4 miles. Eventually, with the strong wind and the gradual climb I had actually take a break and just let myself fall over.

When I got back to my apartment, I immediately hit the fridge, not just for some water and a little gatorade but also to grab beef sticks. Then, when my SO got home she talked me into eating Taco Bell with ease, I wanted food, calories and protein so bad, almost anything would work.

What are good ways to fight and beat post workout binges or some good foods to curb that binge?

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[Rant/Rave] The best part about being thinner is how much easier it is to get drunk
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 12 23:48:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ek8ya/the_best_part_about_being_thinner_is_how_much/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] Mini NSV
/u/Knitwithpearl [5'7" | 216.4 | 39.9 | 7.0 | Female]
Created: Tue Apr 12 23:33:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ek7ef/mini_nsv/
---
[removed]

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[Help] Need exercise suggestions while my leg is broken!
/u/helikesthemskinny
Created: Tue Apr 12 23:27:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ek6n8/need_exercise_suggestions_while_my_leg_is_broken/
---
Hi everyone. I've been lurking here for a long time and just now made an account to post here. This feels really good already. Thank you all for being such a lovely, smart, welcoming group.

So, I broke my knee exactly two weeks ago (it is quite a serious injury), and I am so scared it's going to be the end of the amazing streak I've been on. I want to keep losing weight and I'm going to be upset if I lose muscle (I work HARD in the gym to try and achieve the tight look I so desire). What can I do to burn calories and keep using my muscles?!

Because it's my *knee,* I can't do much of anything upper body. Can't bend my leg so I can't bench press. Can't sit on a bench to do curls because my leg, again, is always 100% straight so sitting is super awkward. Can't stand to do stuff obviously. It's my right leg so I can't even drive!

Someone said I could set up a chair in front of a punching bag but I don't think I can do exercises that would risk twisting my torso, as that would carry onto my pelvis and jostle my leg... It's so painful. Should I just do dumbbell shoulder presses and stuff? Arm circles? Is there a good "fat burner" or metabolism booster I should try during this time?

I will consider literally anything. Please help as I'm kind of panicking right now due to the loss of control. I have been doing so well, on the cusp of 100lbs, but now I'm going to have to restrict so much to make up for my lack of movement. My whole life is EC stack right now. I had 300cals today. Idk if I can keep it up though. I'm scared. The unknown is hard. I just want to be able to lift heavy and run and not worry about my TDEE being like 1000 base right now. :(

I'm sorry this became a bit of a rant. I don't know where else to turn. Thank you all for any suggestions or advice. I don't want to move backwards from this point. I have come so far...

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[Intro] Finally writing this down, hi!
/u/preclusion [5'4.5 |153 | 26.2 | -62lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 23:03:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ek40d/finally_writing_this_down_hi/
---
This turned into a really long ranty post, so I just figured I'd say hi at the top. I hope you're all having great days!!!

I started trying to lose weight in January of 2015, when I weighed myself for the first time in probably years after a tough first quarter of college, and I was 215 lbs!!!!!!! It's been a fairly easy, albeit slow journey through just CICO and I'm now 155 lbs at 5'4.5" (the .5 matters to me to make my measurements more accurate lol). But recently, I've been slowing down and getting more lax with tracking, so I'm kind of stalled and frustrated that I'm not able to make myself do things faster or better. Even though I obsessively check my BMI and TDEE at every possible weight almost every day, I still only manage maybe 2-3 deficit days per week because I've been """""rewarding myself"""""" with shitty food.

I guess I was putting off writing an intro post even though I've been lurking for like 4 months, because this is basically me admitting that I think obsessively and not constructively about my weight and calories and food, and I didn't want to admit to myself that my behavior is actually unacceptable. But weight loss and my current weight and what I did today is literally always on my mind; I can't go a day without thinking about it or criticizing my eating habits or body, and obviously I love to talk about how much I've lost.

It's just especially frustrating lately, because I've been seeing so much progress in having to size all my clothes down and actually liking my body in certain outfits, but for some reason I'm falling behind and I'm stuck literally 8 lbs above a normal BMI. Ugh. I was so good about eating a normal amount of calories for so long, and now I'm fasting several days a week because things aren't happening fast enough.

Anyway, hi.

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[Rant/Rave] Stickied post on self care makes me realize I can't do self care like regular people
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 22:17:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ejygo/stickied_post_on_self_care_makes_me_realize_i/
---
Self care and beauty tips, a great thing to have once a week. Unfortunately it reminds me that I can't do self care like most people. For the longest time I've never used any cosmetics, vitamins, eat correctly, exercise even though I truly enjoy it, wear clothes that fit (or go shopping for one pair of pants more than once per year), I won't wear shoes I know are better for me, I don't do my prescribed chiropractic exercises, I don't floss regularly even though I know I have gum problems sometimes, I cut my hair once every 2 years even if it looks like shit, and finally I bite my nails till they bleed. I truly can't care for myself for whatever reason. At least I'm starting with making myself less overweight and I'm trying to drink more water. Slowly working on building a routine to be a functional human being and accept myself as a person. I finally updated my flair again, so things are going downward in a good way. I bought a Fitbit to satisfy my need for numbers! Restricting is going well! Yay! Pardon my stream of consciousness ramblings.

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[Discussion] Is there a similar sub for males? Or can I filter for males only?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 12 21:04:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ejp37/is_there_a_similar_sub_for_males_or_can_i_filter/
---
[deleted]

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[Other] Is anyone awake and wants to talk?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 20:49:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ejmth/is_anyone_awake_and_wants_to_talk/
---
I'm drunk on a Tuesday night (at least I think it's Tuesday??) and my life is a mess. My kik is selfmadesoul.

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[Tip] I just found these things? Low cal dessert maybe?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 20:40:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ejll3/i_just_found_these_things_low_cal_dessert_maybe/
---
http://imgur.com/OIwKqnk

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[Discussion] DAE find caring for other living beings helpful
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | 168.8 | 24.48 | -6.2 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 20:28:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ejjto/dae_find_caring_for_other_living_beings_helpful/
---
I love plants and animals. I grow a small collection of plants in my apartment and on my balcony. I currently only have two cats but just started a dog walking/pet sitting job that will get me off my slow, depressed ass and out of the house.

I find that when im taking care of animals or caring for my plants my hunger dies. I am unsure if its because of the distraction or if its due to the "feeding" of other beings.

My weight has remained mostly the same for the past few months with my constant b/p behavior. Now that i have found help in the form of taking care of my plants and enjoy my new occupation, i no longer feel the drive to binge. I eat when i feel dizzy but otherwise dont obsess over food in the way i had before. Has anyone else had a similar experience regarding gardening/pets/caring for loved ones?

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[Discussion] 20,000 steps and counting
/u/holloday [5'7" | 123 | 19.2 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 20:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ejird/20000_steps_and_counting/
---
I way over ate today, and I will keep doing steps until I out run these calories. Anyone else use a Fitbit to keep track of their steps?

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[Rant/Rave] The anxiety you get when
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Tue Apr 12 19:31:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ejbr5/the_anxiety_you_get_when/
---
Your 105 pound twin sister (who has had a baby and is skinnier than me) brings home a giant bag of Reese's with all the excitement in the world because it's our favorite candy and she got a discount on it and you just can't help yourself around food and you fail every fucking time and you're so fucking sad and stressed that you can't enjoy it with her the way you want to and every bite tastes like guilt and she's so happy and bubbly with excitement, trying to share it with me as I stare past her at the calorie count. And I'm just over here after having a few, crying in my room writing this out because I've gained such a terrible anxiety over food and it's like my favorite thing in the world and I hate it at the same time and I feel so fat and I try to love myself and I can't completely commit to that, because I want to it to be as easy as it is for her to just eat whatever. I'm 114 and she's 105 and I worry so much about what I eat, but I binge so much too and work out when I can and I'm thin by standard, but not the thin that she is or the thin that I want to be. And I'm just so fucking sad and no one knows. And she's my best friend and she would never understand...

I am just breaking down right now.
I'm sorry for all this nonsense.
I just needed to vent somewhere, to anyone and this would be the place to do it.

---

[Rant/Rave] My stepdaughter is 5'1" and 84 lbs. I'm a fatass giant.
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Tue Apr 12 18:16:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ej103/my_stepdaughter_is_51_and_84_lbs_im_a_fatass_giant/
---
This is why I'll never feel thin enough. To be her BMI I would have to weigh 101 lbs at 5'7". I would have to loose 40 more lbs on top of the 44 lbs I've lost, 24 lbs I've lost this year. I thought I was doing well, but I have so far to go to be back to beautiful.

I hate BED.

I hate being the fat person in my house. I hate the burger I ate for lunch because now I can't eat again till Thursday to stay on track. My husband wants to take a vacation next moth that will ensure bikini time in a city full of perfect young bodies. I don't have enough time to loose enough fat off my thighs, arms, and gut.

Not when I'm next to a 5'1" 84 lb 16 year old girl.

---

[Rant/Rave] Going to a bonfire :/ plenty of food and beer available.
/u/MissMagus
Created: Tue Apr 12 18:09:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ej00d/going_to_a_bonfire_plenty_of_food_and_beer/
---
My friend is having a bonfire. I promised I'd go.

My boyfriend and roomie invited me out to a bar a few hours ago. I had two beers. No food today though...

I'm scared. I don't want to eat. I know I'll drink....I'm a recovering alcoholic who hadn't told anyone I had a legit issue....it's how I got fat again.

I'm scared. I'm crying now....my boyfriend says I'm being ridiculous. I just want to lose this weight. Today is so hard. I just wanna cry in bed all day and I don't know what to do.....I promised my friend....I'd feel like a right cock for canceling. If I just drink....and remain under my calorie goal....I'll still act a fool....it hits me so hard cause I haven't eaten and I don't fucking know when to stop. Goddammit I just wanna stay home. I feel helpless and alone. Fuck this man.

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[Other] Yall so I put my calories in for today
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 18:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eiz22/yall_so_i_put_my_calories_in_for_today/
---
And yeah I found these chocolate carmel pretzels sooooo thanks beer. Now I have consumed the 3 worst best things to happen to someone's life. Haha. Mini binge. Restrict tommorrow. Pace alot. Yall know the cycle. Sipping some evan and coke zero. Doing sit ups and pacing and reading this sub. How it do my lovelies?

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[Other] Helter Skelter: Through extensive plastic surgery and vigorous maintenance, Ririko has become wildly successful as the absolute manifestation of beauty. Soon, however, her body and body begins to crumble as she plummets towards a frightening and inevitable end. [Manga] [Illustrated Nudity+Sex]
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 18:01:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eiyps/helter_skelter_through_extensive_plastic_surgery/
---
http://imgur.com/a/YkPRZ

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[Rant/Rave] Am I actually about to throw all this food away?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 17:38:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eiv91/am_i_actually_about_to_throw_all_this_food_away/
---
I'm so done.

I've bagged up all the food in my dorm... and I'm about to throw it away... i feel so bad... theres so much... and all this money.... but i cant have it in my dorm anymore...

What if i just buy more stuff... Im so torn... I'm crying...

---

[Rant/Rave] technically underweight
/u/needsthoserockets [5'55 | 111.2 lbs | 18.47 | 21F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 17:36:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eiuzf/technically_underweight/
---
I just realized that I am technically underweight on both new and old BMI scales today. My LW that I've ever recorded was only 0.2 lbs lighter than this. I'm only 2.2 pounds away from my goal.
I don't know exactly how I feel, other than obsessive. I feel slightly excited, for sure. But I also feel disappointed because I can grab parts of my body and estimate that my GW isn't low enough. I thought it would be, because its definitely underweight. I don't want to adjust it because since it's so close to being a healthy weight, I can pretend like it's good and healthy and deflect any concerns. I guess we'll have to see... I've been recording my calorie intake for about nine months. Adjusting to a higher intake sounds too hard and stresses me out.
I shouldn't be here posting this, or obsessing at all, since I should be working on the final push of the semester. So close to finished ... then I have 10 days before I move home and start internship to kill those last 2.2 pounds.
I don't even need replies, I just wanted to express something and I don't have anyone to tell: it's not fair to worry friends who also have exams to study for.
Sigh. Thank you.

---

[Rant/Rave] My scale sucks.
/u/adocovo [5'10" | 143.5 | 20.6 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 17:09:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eiqxd/my_scale_sucks/
---
I got back to school from spring break about two weeks ago and so I'm stuck with a shitty old analogue scale that changes what weight it says you are based on where you stand on the scale. -.- like, come on. Every day it says I weigh at least ~.5-1 pounds less than the day before, which isn't possible because I'm eating around 900 calories a day right now and my TDEE is at max like 1800. I thought this would stop after a while, or that maybe it was a second wind of water weight, but it keeps happening...and I just know that when I get back home and back to my super precise scale I'm going to be so disappointed with what it says :(. Any ideas as to what I can do?

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[Rant/Rave] I hate that I keep self sabotaging. (rant)
/u/sarahPenguin [5'6"| 191lbs | MtF]
Created: Tue Apr 12 17:08:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eiqtd/i_hate_that_i_keep_self_sabotaging_rant/
---
After a couple of weeks of depression and dissociation fueled binging I ended up putting on 12 lbs. That put me over 200lbs yet again, for the 3rd or 4th time. Even when I'm not hungry my brain is all like let's shovel a fuck ton of food down our throat. Good job brain way to be useful. Took over a week to get back under 200 >_< going to be stuck a blob forever.

Also while I'm ranting fuck you tesco I want my buttermint tea back.

---

[Tip] 188 cal dinner
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 17:06:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eiql7/188_cal_dinner/
---
https://i.reddituploads.com/b9608867bb204ea1b3cb68ba1326d666?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=951f18ee3c70405db13c3f515a06d418

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[Rant/Rave] I think I literally outran a binge.
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 16:09:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eihgw/i_think_i_literally_outran_a_binge/
---
I had a shitty run today. I usually do 4.5 miles. I could only force myself to do 3.2 miles. And they were truly terrible miles. The miles where you check your watch every ten seconds to see if it's time to quit yet.

So I was mad at myself for being too weak to finish (and even the run I did was at a terrible pace) and planned to eat a fuck ton of PB. Took it out of the cabinet and held it in my hands for a second. Then decided, "No. Fuck it. I'm not gonna do this to myself."

I put the PB back and went and ran another 2 miles. At my normal pace. Did a 20 minute walk after and am currently relaxing with some seltzer and cinnamon tea.

Holy hell.

---

[Intro] uhm... hello?
/u/moonraven6661 [5'5|288.2 lbs|BMI 48|F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 16:06:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eigyl/uhm_hello/
---
i'm rose, i'm 18, from florida, with a bmi of *gulps* 48. i'd like to say i can even go one day without binging, but unfortunately, i have zero self control. when i purge i feel better, but not much. the recent death of a friend has left me resorting to restricting and b/p'ing to cope.

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[Help] My friend bought me a sushi roll...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 15:22:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eia2l/my_friend_bought_me_a_sushi_roll/
---
I don't know what to do with it. It's been sitting in front of me for almost an hour now... I'm trying to justify eating it but I cant. Last night was bad. I wanted to fast today. I don't want to give up. I don't want to be rude either...

What do?

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[Rant/Rave] A rant on making dinner.
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 14:57:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ei5tx/a_rant_on_making_dinner/
---
(No flair) So I was making my 100 kcal dinner today and my dad asked me why I haven't played with the dog in an accusatory way and I just said "because I have 60 pieces of art due in two days and my teacher didn't give us a heads up" and then he said "that's why I didn't want to get a dog. You spend the time you should be playing with him in the kitchen cooking. Why do you have to cook your food?" And of COURSE I fucking look after the dog.



I. JUST. WANT. CONTROL. If anyone touches my food I immediately freak out. Like no. Stop. I can't have other people make my food. Too much fat. Too much variation for calories. Everything anyone makes for me makes me fat. This is the same man that told me constantly while growing up that I was too fat. That I ate so much. That I was too big to love. WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE WANT FROM ME? Do you want me to be skinny or fat? I just want to be loved. I just want to be skinny and loved. Honestly I have lost my DAMN MIND right now.



I am just done. So done. I literally want to die. Every bite of food tastes like guilt to me.



Anybody relate to this?

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[Rant/Rave] TMI: Have been constipated for a couple weeks but I just found epsom salt in my house!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 12 14:48:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ei4dn/tmi_have_been_constipated_for_a_couple_weeks_but/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I love my spine.
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 127.4 | 20.65 | -23.2 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 14:35:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ei207/i_love_my_spine/
---
I realized last night that when I hunch over a little my spine in my upper back is now extremely pronounced. I can see the individual vertebrae and it makes me feel like a little Stegosaurus because that's what it looks like to me. Now I just want to be able to see the rest of it.

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[Other] I wish I had more rib definition.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 14:25:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ei0f0/i_wish_i_had_more_rib_definition/
---
Sometimes I see it in the right light. I'm getting squishy from lack of control. https://imgur.com/pEMYrHM

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[Rant/Rave] telling myself to relax, need to relax (also strong language ahead)
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 14:14:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ehyfe/telling_myself_to_relax_need_to_relax_also_strong/
---
I just need to think clearly. I didn't log any calories today. ANY. And I thought earlier "what a good girl, me. This is how normal people behave" and gave myself a pat on the back but we had PAPA JOHNS for lunch/dinner and shit I ate a literal half a pizza. A half. And so of course now I'm running numbers from the whole day and stressing the FUCK OUT because shit that's like at least 2000 calories in ONE SITTING. That's like two and a half days of food what the fuck.

I had breakfast today what the fuck was I thinking having PIZZA for lunch christ.

They mixed my diet pepsi up with a regular one and "haha it's okay I'll just drink this" it's not okay though because it's another like 300 FUCKING calories in A DRINK.

I've been having horrible stabbing pain in my head and stressing out makes it worse and if I'm freaking out still by tomorrow my doctor will notice and IM A BLABBER MOUTH I CANT KEEP SECRETS.

I will not eat anymore today. I will not eat tomorrow. I have absolutely lost progress today and I have to get it back. I have to.

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[Other] Zekkyou Gakkyuu (Screaming Lessons) 029: The Requirements of a Belle [Manga] [Horror]
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 13:55:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ehv80/zekkyou_gakkyuu_screaming_lessons_029_the/
---
http://imgur.com/a/cNRG1

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[Goal] I think it worked
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Apr 12 13:29:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ehql3/i_think_it_worked/
---
Posted earlier that I knew I was gonna binge, that I was going to but couldn't purge. Right now I'm laying down, I'm so sick from the food, so full and bloated.

I don't think I can even touch food for the next week or so.

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[Other] New job -- someone just said "I never see you actually eat"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 12 13:26:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ehq4h/new_job_someone_just_said_i_never_see_you/
---
I have been at a new job for a few weeks now (long story). I have been making 'soup' for lunch (bouillion cube, carrots, cucumber) and I work out before I eat.

I know she means well but she goes "oh - did you go out for lunch?" and i said "Oh i went to the gym" and she said "oh. what about food?" i said "oh! I have soup" and pointed to the bowl and she goes "Oh, yeah, cause i never actually see you *eat* anything"

[heh.............](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3GJlpBVPW84/UWzkpt_-_fI/AAAAAAAAIDo/KuMsyfyfQ4s/s1600/tumblr_mks7lftLPb1s6zpepo1_400.gif)

awkward.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm a hypocrite and an asshole.
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 12:45:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ehiwz/im_a_hypocrite_and_an_asshole/
---
People ask me for diet/nutrition/fitness advice all the time. Friends, family, acquaintances. I love being asked and will happily sit down and patiently help them make a plan, walk them through the basics of MFP, go to the gym with them, be a support as they try to make the change.

And the thing is, I think I'm pretty good at it. I'm super well-read—maybe obsessively so—on nutrition and metabolism. I've thought a lot about the behavioral/emotional aspects of weight loss and body image and am sensitive to helping people build sustainable, enjoyable, healthy habits that work for them. I'm ultra body-positive and encouraging. I detest fatlogic and try to gently bust it when I see it. You *can* lose weight, and easily, it's just math and science. You don't have to give up your whole life or go to the gym for hours every day. Don't beat yourself up about one bad choice—make the next one better! No foods are off limits, just eat less! Don't panic about scale fluctuations! You can do this, I'll help you!

Needless to say, I can't apply any of this to myself and it's baffling to me. I'm riddled with ED-logic (which lets face it is really just fatlogic) in the worst way. Exercise is penance, better do it all the time just to be sure. Safe foods and never foods. Restrict and binge, purge and binge, binge, binge, restrict, restrict, rinse, repeat. Loving your body, fueling and nurturing, feeling good? Lollllllll.

The worst part is it's not like I do any better with my insanity than I would on a more normal plan. This time around I've lost, oh, 15-ish pounds since December. That's like a pound a week. Exactly the rate recommended for healthy weight loss, but it took me thousands of wasted dollars in purged food, overuse injury, isolating myself from my friends and family and work, and in general completely fucking myself over to get there. FML!

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[Discussion] All my favorite 'meals' dissolve in hot water
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 12:41:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ehiby/all_my_favorite_meals_dissolve_in_hot_water/
---
http://i.imgur.com/5GLJc67.jpg

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[Rant/Rave] I'm hopeless.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 12:11:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ehd5m/im_hopeless/
---
No-ones probably surprised that I didn't manage to not binge and purge.

But I tried, I really tried. I went to do my grocery shopping today and tried to buy healthy, more calorie-dense food as my plan was to maintain. So I bought full-grain bread. Yoghurt. Bananas(for potassium).

And then I got back home. And thought: "Well, I have bread. And yoghurt. And bananas. I could binge on those". And then I thought that if I'm going to binge it's all the same if I go and buy some binge food. So I did. And I ended up having so much food that I binged and purged twice.

Really, I'm hopeless. Not even the fact that my heart is showing symptoms because of binging and purging is enough to stop me.

And now I'm worried that when I see my doctor tomorrow I'm so tired and desperate that I'll agree to go to inpatient treatment. I know she's going to recommend that.Or actually try to pressure me into going. I really,really don't want to, it was awful the last time I was inpatient, but I'm so bad at saying no in general and if I feel really tired with this I just don't know...Because a real break from binging and purging IS what I want, desperately, but I want to do it at my own home.

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[Discussion] Irritated at trolls - I wish this was a private sub
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 12 11:47:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eh8x4/irritated_at_trolls_i_wish_this_was_a_private_sub/
---
Has that ever been talked about?

Just seeing what other reddit users are commenting. Has there ever been talk of making this private??

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[Other] Interview with Nikki Glazer on Maron's WTF podcast. They talk some about their mutual ED history. Start at [00:10:30]
/u/canikeepit [5'4" | 161 | 28.2 | 58 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 11:00:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eh0sx/interview_with_nikki_glazer_on_marons_wtf_podcast/
---
http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast//episode-697-nikki-glaser

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[Other] Autobiographical webcomic: I Do Not Have An Eating Disorder by Khale McHurst [Self Harm, Suicidal Ideations] [Illustrated Nudity]
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 10:59:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eh0kw/autobiographical_webcomic_i_do_not_have_an_eating/
---
http://imgur.com/a/VPTfB

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[Rant/Rave] I don't know how much I weigh and it's tearing me apart
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 179 | 28.0 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 10:51:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4egz7x/i_dont_know_how_much_i_weigh_and_its_tearing_me/
---
I've been trying to weigh myself less frequently recently because the obsession with how much I weigh was starting to control my whole life, and I need to at least survive finals. So today I weighed myself for the first time in close to two weeks, and my scales don't match at all. I recently bought my first digital scale from Amazon and it was really highly recommended by one of my friends, but I'm pretty sure it's not completely accurate. I've been maintaining a pretty decently sized calorie deficit (eating 400-800 calories per day) and I did binge a little bit on Sunday but there's no way I could have possibly gained three pounds in two weeks with one binge. This scale hasn't shown a lower number once since I got it. My analog scale is showing that I lost 6 pounds but it has a huge history of being wrong. One of the reasons I finally bought the digital scale to begin with is last year I went to Urgent Care and their scale showed me as 25 POUNDS above what my analog scale said.

I don't know what to believe anymore and it's driving me insane.

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[Rant/Rave] I'm gonna binge
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Apr 12 10:30:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4egvpm/im_gonna_binge/
---
I'm just not allowed to purge. Gonna teach myself no to

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Apr 12 10:02:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4egr02/daily_food_diary_april_12_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 12, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Other] New fitbit Alta is my new binge defense tool, plus ED ramblings about an upcoming party.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 09:57:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4egq4d/new_fitbit_alta_is_my_new_binge_defense_tool_plus/
---
My fitbit Alta came in yesterday, and so far I think this is the best tool I have to curb bingeing. I like having this quasi biofeedback gizmo attached to me, constantly feeding my desire for data and numbers, real time logging my slip ups and accomplishments.

A physical manifestation of my ED, passed off as a fashionable health/fitness tracker.

There were so many temptations yesterday; I browsed the candy/junk aisle at Walgreens when I went to buy my fizzy water, however I did NOT indulged. I kept thinking about how I had my fitness tracker on my wrist and how all the little graphs and pie charts in the app would change to reflect over indulgence. Same thing when I got home; thankfully my husband was full from lunch so dinner was up to me. I made a 500 cal buffalo chicken wrap and then didn't snack for the rest of the night. Again I kept thinking about the tracker, as well as all the data that would change in the app.

All things considered, I feel like health/fitness trackers are the best *and* worst thing for people with ED tendencies.

Down to 114lbs today, still...unimpressed. However I am very jazzed about my fitbit Alta, which is taking the edge off my general life-ennui.

I need to start looking forward to Saturday. Its my friend's big birthday bash, and a lot of people in attendance haven't seen me since before my pregnancy (roughly 2 years ago). What to wear, what to wear, I'm thinking my new size 26 high waist skinny jeans, a crop top, and a jean jacket? I need something to show off my figure that will also prevent me from eating/bingeing on the bbq food.

All the girls in attendance are 'aged' party girls; not the nightclub set, more like the hipster brewery/pub crawl set. A lot of craft beer, a lot of late night pizza and burgers, etc. We're in our 30's now, and they like to blame their expanding figures on age and metabolism. Hmph.

I'm ashamed of this thought, but I want them to talk when they see me. I want them to gawk and whisper, I want them to wonder how I did it despite having a 10 month old baby.

Maybe I'll hit 113lbs by Saturday? THAT would be something. If my fitbit enthusiasm holds true for the rest of the week, then I don't foresee any problem hitting 113lbs by Saturday. Sure it will most likely be water weight lost, but the brain doesn't register that, the brain only sees a new LW (the same LW as when I was called scrawny by a coworker).

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm sick of it all.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 09:54:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4egpqv/im_sick_of_it_all/
---
I'm sick of school. There are 4 weeks until finals and I just can't anymore. I just want to wake up every morning, go ride my horse, come home and starve myself until I feel pretty enough. I don't want to have to use my brain anymore. Schools sucks the life out of me and it makes me hungry and cranky. Why can't I just stay home all day, drink coffee and watch my shows?

I'm sick of doing my hair. I'm sick of wearing makeup. What's the point? None of that will make me pretty unless I'm skinny.

I'm sick of my mom and her boyfriend. They came here on Thursday and left on Sunday and I ate so damn much. I fasted yesterday and I still feel fat and disgusting. The worst part is I'll be going to Washington DC with them Friday-Sunday, only to ruin this week's progress ALL OVER AGAIN and suffer next week. On the bright side, my flight is in the morning on Sunday so I'll only have to eat on Friday and Saturday. And Friday my flight arrives in the evening, meaning I can get away with just dinner. Also I have my own hotel room, so I can lie about if I ate that day and just eat if we are eating together.

My mom left all this delicious home cooked food for me and I just tossed it all in the freezer because I'm not going to eat it. I feel so bad. She spent hours cooking for me all for it to just go in the freezer and stay there...forever.

I'm sick of this fucking eating disorder. I hate it. I wouldn't wish an ED upon my worst enemy.

I'm sick of not allowing myself to see my friends, because friends = food. I miss my friends so much! I'm sick of people at my barn thinking I'm a stuck up bitch because I'm not "friendly". I am friendly! I'm just tired and starved so obviously I'm not going to be the most chipper of people. I was invited to a barn dinner at Olive Garden. I declined the invitation and now people are apparently saying "Oh, star-of-morning thinks she's too good to have dinner with us." No. I'm just too eating disordered to go to a damn restaurant.

I'm sick of my life and my eating disorder. I wish I could just be normal. I wish I didn't feel like crying when I see food. I wish I could ask for help, but I don't want help. I can't even vent to my friends or family because there's nothing they can do since I'm doing this to myself.

/endrant

---

[Discussion] Triggered by an overweight friend?
/u/DroppedMyOreo [5'4 | 127 | 21.8 | -12 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 09:01:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eggwy/triggered_by_an_overweight_friend/
---
So I have this friend who is one of the only people off the internet who knows about my problems with food. She doesnt have an ED or anything, but she makes comments frequently about how much weight she's losing, how she never eats, and how people are saying she looks skeletal.
Never the mind that it's really not THAT much weight, she's not skeletal, and she eats 2-3 meals a day anyway.
When she says this is drives this like subconscious need to purge and starve, and I'm trying to move to restricting only, and not purging or using laxatives and it's seriously fucking with me, anyone else have this issue?

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm a fat lazy failure
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 12 08:34:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4egco7/im_a_fat_lazy_failure/
---
I fail at recovery
I fail at relapsing

My weight is still up
I'm not strong enough to fast or cut out even more
I have a doctors appt Thursday and I'm embarrassed truthfully my weight is up 7lbs since my last visit. SEVEN. She will think 'why did we need this cow for blind weights?!?!?' I want to cancel it. I'm afraid my therapist will be mad.

I'm a failure
I want to disappear
I wish I stayed home from work

How can I be so unmotivated to eat or not to eat? To hang in this horrid balance of sort of eating not losing weight not recovering not full on restricting or fasting?

Fuck my life today.

I hated myself when I weighed 217lbs. I hated myself at 108lbs (my lowest. I'm not as strong as you all)
I don't want anymore therapy. No more Doctor. I just wanna be alone. I hate myself either way. I could just hate myself alone.
Why can't I just be alone and hate myself **alone** in the dark and die (no i'm not suicidal)

---

[Other] when my family comes over and asks for tea or soda
/u/pumpkin-poodle [5'3" | 84.8 | 15.44 (new BMI) | -66.2 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 08:18:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ega9c/when_my_family_comes_over_and_asks_for_tea_or_soda/
---
http://i.imgur.com/VNupxzR.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] Weirdest trigger for me
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 08:06:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eg89v/weirdest_trigger_for_me/
---
Last night I saw Iron Maiden for the second time. I am a huge metalhead and have been looking forward to this since the presale tickets went live in October. I don't work on Mondays so j didn't have to request time off for a whole day of getting ready, waiting at the show, all that.
The show was awesome and all I ever wanted after waiting 3 years to see them again. I'm just sad that I no longer have shows to look forward to, even though I know my favorite bands are bound to be back in the fall after they've all done their European tours.
I just can't bear the thought that now one of the things I do is have an amount of shows I can go to at a certain weight. I just hit 155 a week or so ago and have hit my limit. What happens to my next shows if I can't somehow lose weight? What if I don't lose weight by the time my next much anticipated show comes around? Anxiety is going crazy right now. Dumbest thing ever to be triggered by, but it's what I do I guess.
Sorry on mobile, can't flair.

---

[Other] Relief when food spoils
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 12 07:58:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eg73y/relief_when_food_spoils/
---
I bought this bag of potatoes a few weeks ago and I haven't really been eating them. I would always pick one up and consider eating it, but then weigh it and find out how many calories. I could cook it, then eat one half and then the other half the next day, but the fear of me just eating it all in one sitting kept me from ever making any. I was looking through my produce today and they had all gone soft and a bit moldy so I had to throw them out.


All I felt afterwards was an overwhelming sense of relief, like, "That's one less thing I'll have to eat." Now all I have in the house is rice, corn tortillas, greek yogurt, mozzarella cheese, and some curry sauce (70 kcal per 110g). Which are all safe foods for me, so I don't have to worry about eating too much now, except for that damn candy I still have lying around - but I can now ease my worries with that. Even if I were to eat that entire chocolate orange and what is left of the Toblerone I'd just meet my maintenance calories for the day. So I don't have to worry about that damn candy anymore!


I also finished one of my big projects, so today is just a really good day.

---

[Rant/Rave] I binged so hard yesterday. (vent)
/u/Fit4me123
Created: Tue Apr 12 07:49:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eg5ud/i_binged_so_hard_yesterday_vent/
---
I was doing really well all day. All I wanted was to stay under 1,000 Cal. Nothing to most of you guys. I started getting cramps and craving around dinner. Instead of fighting them and going to sleep I let them win. I went to outback and got takeout. A 12oz steak, a baked potato with everything on it, a side of mixed veggies and a blooming onion. I ate almost all of the steak, over half the potato, all the veggies and HALF the blooming onion. I can't believe I ate half a fucking blooming onion. I felt so sick afterwards but I didn't purge so there's that. I'm just so frustrated with myself. I'm going to fast for a few days starting today. I got some peppermint gun and some 0cal sweetener for coffee. I'm just so sick of this cycle. I'm so overweight and losing should be so easy but I just can't fucking control myself. It's so gross.

---

[Rant/Rave] Anybody else have that food that they think about but don't actually crave?
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.9 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 07:35:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eg3vj/anybody_else_have_that_food_that_they_think_about/
---
There's this cheap frozen pizza that's good in the way only cheap, frozen pizza can be (and like 850 calories), and my brain just can't forget it. Every once and awhile my brain just blips to it real quick. It's not like a craving with the *oh god i need this in me right now* panicky feeling, it's just like a little reminder that "hey, this exists." I'm not even tempted to buy it when I'm at the store, I'll be at my desk, then all of a sudden "btw pizza" and it's done. It's so weird, and kind of annoying but I guess I can deal with it since it's not taking any willpower to ignore.

Anybody else's brain do this?

---

[Goal] Add me on MFP
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Tue Apr 12 07:12:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eg0qq/add_me_on_mfp/
---
So I got all damn depressed from February to like yesterday. Yeah I think im done with the old BP cycle, which I bottled and told no one about. Just smoked a good morning bowl so I don't think I'll be heading the the gym, but after my exams are over on Thursday I'm going Machine Mode in preparation for an outdoors course that takes place in Quebec for two weeks. There's a pool. There's hot outdoorsy people. This is new motivation.
My fitness pal: heyhiohhello although I can't update anything until I get my laptop back ! I usually burn ~500 anyway, but when I got back to the gym... >: ) feel free to add me

---

[Help] Coffee cream and sugar replacement
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 06:59:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4efyy4/coffee_cream_and_sugar_replacement/
---
I absolutely love coffee but I don't prefer it black. Usually I add vanilla sweet cream that I mix up. I would like to find a lower calorie substitute. My SO is lactose intolerant and would also appreciate if I found a dairy substitute. Does anyone have any good ideas to add to coffee?

---

[Thinspo] The [thinspo] that helps me the most are the girls with the flat stomachs :)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 06:41:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4efwei/the_thinspo_that_helps_me_the_most_are_the_girls/
---
http://imgur.com/a/7KC7J

---

[Thinspo] Thinspo [Quotes]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 06:38:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4efvze/thinspo_quotes/
---
http://imgur.com/a/jiCzO

---

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A April 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Apr 12 06:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4efrbw/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_april_12_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Other] Back from the doctor
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Apr 12 05:53:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4efq6d/back_from_the_doctor/
---
I've been signed off work for a month due to stress and subsequent insomnia from my ED.

After that month is up I have two weeks holiday booked off so I'm fairly relaxed I get six weeks without the extra stress of business accounts.

Doc's referred me to an ED unit at a psychiatrists' and given me two weeks of prozac. He said it's because it helps with ED's.

So I desperately looked it up to see if it caused weight gain but it said it was commonly used for bulimia (which I don't have) and common side effects are insomnia, anorexia and lack of appetite.

Soooo... Everything I went to him to fix is going to be happening to me now as a side effect of his fix?

Anyway. Still worried about what's ahead for me. I hate not having control of my future.

---

[Intro] Intro: Hello everyone!
/u/Lailora [171 cm (5´7'') | 75kg (165lbs) | 25.5| 0kg | F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 05:53:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4efq69/intro_hello_everyone/
---
Hello everyone!
I've been lurking around here for while and thought I would join in more actively, so here is my intro post :D

I used to be a really skinny kid, then when I hit puberty that changed and I got to the same weight I am now. I started loosing and everything was going great (always pushing how much I could lose)....The about 8 years ago I met my (now) husband, and gained all that flabby weight right back! The last 1-1½ years I have been really hating myself, then last week I saw some pictures of myself (pre-pig) and had an panic attack.
I can't live like this!!!! I hate myself and have had no wish of doing anything, I can't enjoy anything because feeling utterly disgusted by myself takes up all my energy!

I want to get back to being the skinny, perfect little thing I was when I met my husband. I want to enjoy him being able to lift me up again, to feel small compared to him (we are roughly the same size at the moment).

So I decided it is time to get back what I once had! But 8 years feels like an awfully long time, and I have gotten some vices along the way, more specifically - wine. I know this really is the first hurdle I have to get over. I drink maybe 2 bottles of wine a week.
I'm no candy, cake, chocolate or snacks person, I'm a wine person!

I also need to get a grip on my portions! I mean I didn't gain all this weight back on wine alone...I have such a hard time stopping myself from eating much when I eat, and it's hard to not eat since my husband eats, so instead of avoiding food, like I did before, I need to seriously reduce my portions.
I don't eat anything most days until dinner at night, while at work I can avoid food, and I've never eaten breakfast so my SO is used to that one.

I'm also scared to go to the gym at my current state....
I have implemented some home exercises that I used to do, but until I have reduced at least 5kg (about 10lbs) just thinking about the gym gives me anxiety.

So this is basically the first week of me coming back....I've lost roughly 2-3 lbs in that week. It's frustrating....I just really can't live like this anymore!

Well...that my story!
So I hope to talk to you all soon! :D

---

[Discussion] "You're like a rake" You're too skinny!"
/u/whyhelloothere [163cm| 49kg| 18.7| -15 kg| F]
Created: Tue Apr 12 04:08:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4effu9/youre_like_a_rake_youre_too_skinny/
---
But then in the same breath says how amazing I look and how so many more clothes styles look good on me and also says " You won't gain weight again will you?".

Has anyone got this? it's really confusing to hear, especially from my own mother. I'm starting to try and hide my weightloss because everyone can see it now and makes jokes about me starving myself.... little do they know thats exactly what i've done. It's been very weird for me.

---

[Discussion] DAE who restricts purposefully choose very calorie-dense foods when your body NEEDS the calories but you don't want the scale to go up?
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Tue Apr 12 02:59:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ef9xf/dae_who_restricts_purposefully_choose_very/
---
Wondering if this is just me or if others do this too. Sometimes if I've been restricting a lot or exercising a lot I will start to be able to tell that my body NEEDS food. I'm not talking about feeling hungry, but feeling faint, dizzy, seeing spots, too tired to get out of bed, etc etc.

Sometimes when I'm like this but I'm not actually feeling hungry or wanting to eat, I will reach for something small and calorie-dense so as not to expand my stomach or give my brain any ideas that we will be eating any meaningful amounts of food in the near-future. So in times like that, I'll often go for chocolate or cheese.

Today is a great example. I was at 517 calories today but I was feeling dizzy and kept almost losing my balance and lights were looking funny. I think it's maybe because of the 6 miles I walked today or just because I haven't had a "bad" day (over 1k calories) in a really long time.

I didn't feel like eating more than a few bites of food, so I had two pieces of chocolate and the sugar perked me right up.

Anyone else do something similar?

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm such a mess
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Apr 12 02:52:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ef9b3/im_such_a_mess/
---
Till a week ago everything was going so well. Was losing weight, I smiled sometimes. This is the second time this week that I selfharm, it had been over a year. I've been binging and purging, I feel like it's time to leave.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm getting good again
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Mon Apr 11 23:00:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eenth/im_getting_good_again/
---
I just purged up a binge of Lays, peanuts, strawberry apple sauce, fruit snacks and crackers, plus a square of cake in less than 6 minutes with my family right in the other room.

I got it all up silently and fast and now I'm empty again plus I got to enjoy my late night snack.

I used to be this good before my hospitalization and now I'm relearning my skills.

It makes me so happy. I am strong and successful and I'll be beautiful again soon.

I am good at what I do, and I love it.

---

[Rant/Rave] SO agreed to a compromised meal plan!
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 22:48:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eemkp/so_agreed_to_a_compromised_meal_plan/
---
My SO has been feeling bad about the food she buys, mostly pizza, hot pockets, and other bachelor food, and how we haven't really been buying the foods that I used eat. So now, we drew up a second grocery list for me--YAY VEGGIES! We also agreed that we will each make our own food and then eat together, which will be fun in an apartment kitchen. Actually that won't be so bad since she uses the microwave and I never do. Saturdays, I will cook for the both of us with a compromise meal. Also, also, also! She is letting me openly have occasional fasting days but only on the condition that I don't say bad things about myself. This only came about because she caught me in hysterics after a large meal with her extended family but surprisingly upbeat about myself on a day she didn't see me eat anything (I had coffee with some cream to get my anti-depressants down.)

So that's my rant. I am kinda confused on how to feel. I'm still in a bit of a tizzy over relapsing. I'm definitely leaning towards letting it just take it's course again. It makes me feel better about myself. Kinda sad. I still don't feel really great when I am smaller but better than when I'm a land whale. Her family fat shames a lot and I think her sister might have a bit of an ED so maybe my SO gave in because she is used to seeing it.

---

[Other] I felt inspired today, so I tried writing a poem. (Be prepared for a really terrible poem.)
/u/RomanReyGod [Height 5'4"| CW 148.8| BMI (New) 26.04 :( | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 21:02:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ee9ki/i_felt_inspired_today_so_i_tried_writing_a_poem/
---
Alright, so earlier I felt like just throwing my thoughts on paper, this is what happened:

Water tastes so pure and clean,

Have you ever tried it?

Water is my only need,

Food can go and bite it.

----------------

They understand not what I do,

Fasting, restricting and the occasional binge.

They think a diet plan will make it go,

away, like a door with a broken hinge.

-----------------

When I say I can't eat,

They force me to try.

Their rants are a feat,

That like to make me cry.

--------------------

But friends I have in other places,

Who do not alter the way I am.

They accept me in my purest form,

and man, do they make me glad!

So, yeah. I hope you guys get some sort of satisfaction out of it, haha. This is really just me getting my feelings out, and honestly, it helps quite a lot. <3

---

[Thinspo] I had too much fun making these.
/u/pumpkin-poodle [5'3" | 84.8 | 15.44 (new BMI) | -66.2 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 20:24:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ee45j/i_had_too_much_fun_making_these/
---
http://imgur.com/a/g1n1C

---

[Rant/Rave] I don't know what to do
/u/_theninthcircle
Created: Mon Apr 11 20:13:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ee2kj/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
---
I don't want to see my dietician anymore because I don't think what I'm doing is wrong or disordered. I've only lost 15 lbs between January and March, a totally healthy rate of weight loss. But my therapist and dietitian are overreacting because I spent 5 months in treatment three years ago. They're treating me differently because of that. It's bullshit. I'm technically overweight, my vitals are fine, they're both freaking out for no reason. My copay for the dietician is expensive, and she's trying to feed me some bullshit about set points and that my body wants me to be at this weight. I am 5'4 and 148 lbs. My dietician weighs 110 lbs soaking wet. Both my dietician and therapist are threatening to terminate with me. I'm sorry if I'm rambling, I drank a bottle of wine and I don't know what to do. Would I recommend my current diet to anyone else? No. But what I'm doing is nowhere near as bad as they're making it out to be. I've been working with them for three years and I have been very close with them until recently but everything is falling apart. I feel so lost.

---

[Help] Over it.
/u/anathrowaway00
Created: Mon Apr 11 19:43:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4edy79/over_it/
---
I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, but I need some advice. I spent the last year or so of my life recovering from anorexia and I'm over it. I HATE how I look. I'm done, I don't care what anyone has to say, I'm over it. I just want to be skinny again. Not as skinny as I was before, but like 90lbs is fine with me. Anyway, now my problem is that I can't figure out how I even did it in the first place. How did I have the energy to exercise that much and eat that little? I can't even manage one day of restricting. Please I'll take any advice someone can give me, I just want my old body back - my old life back. Everyone in my life is delusional because I was way happier and my life was so much better even when I was sickly thin. Please help me get that back, I want that feeling of restriction; of control. Thanks.

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel this weird sense of superiority when you grocery shop on an empty stomach?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 18:47:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4edq78/does_anyone_else_feel_this_weird_sense_of/
---
I'm coffee fasting today and I did my weekly food shopping a few hours ago. I purchased only my safe foods, and I felt...better than everyone else in a weird way. Like, I walked past that section of the supermarket with fresh fried chicken and the bakery where I could smell chocolate chip cookies. I (literally) held my head high and walked past it confidently even though I was fucking ravenous. And then to see everyone putting chips and cookies and pasta and soda and bacon in their carts, pushing my cart along with water, baby carrots, coffee, protein bars and sliced chicken.

Am I a fucking sicko or do any of you feel this way, too? It's partially a sick game I play against myself - how starved can I be while resisting the tempting foods right in front of me.

---

[Intro] Intro Post - today was a scary day
/u/NeverThinEnough [5'4.5" | 98.8 | 16.7 | -29.2 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 18:31:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ednye/intro_post_today_was_a_scary_day/
---
Hello, everyone! I think this can probably serve as an intro post for me since I've been a lurker since December 2015. This is obviously a throwaway since my main account is linked to my social media presence/business, I guess you could say.

I've always been "that skinny girl" - I was ~100 lbs all through high school and college. My mom is a sports nutritionist and I was brought up to have extremely healthy eating habits - I basically had the eating habits of her patients (people really trying to lose weight - like what a personal trainer would make you eat and log for them) branded into my mind and my palette. I am extremely grateful for the way I was brought up.

Then comes graduation from college. I got an office job in a pretty big office. I've always had a sweet tooth, and I've always just spent it on a handful of dark chocolate morsels, or a cup of hot fruit-based tea. Once again, my palette for all things healthy had always shone through. Until this damn office. Full of middle-aged women who LOVE to bake and who are damn good at it. Full of people who get cakes from the manager on their birthdays. There was almost an 80% chance (totally accurate statistics lol) everyday of me getting a mass email stating there was cake and cookies and brownies galore in the kitchen. I worked with a bunch of girls my own age. I remember we'd always stop what we were doing - all have shit-eating grins on our faces as we looked at each other, and we'd run to the kitchen to stuff our little selves. After a few years of this we all gained some weight. I went from 100 to 128 (which looks plain awful on my tiny frame). Didn't really realize it until the office hired the tiniest cutest girl to work with us. My coworkers and I all went into a crazy fitness binge because of this for about a year. I got down to 118 but that's as far as working out would get me.

I soon quit this job for a higher-paying job down the road. My god the stress level of working for a small business (<10 people) is a MILLION times the stress of working in a large corporate environment. Not only that, my boss is abusive. She throws things at me, makes fun of my projects (for example, saying her five year old nephew could do a better job than me), makes me work insanely long unpaid hours, and gets very mad at me if I leave my desk to go to the bathroom at any point in the day. Needless to say, she also gets very mad at me if I try to have a lunch or a snack at my desk. I've been screamed at for eating oatmeal because I was using my hands for the spoon and not for the keyboard. Long gone are the days of me getting a lunch break. Unfortunately, I am still stuck at this job and probably will be for a very long time.

I've been at this job for two years, now. I really haven't had a lunch on a regular basis in those two years. Sometimes I can sneak some raw almonds in if she's in a meeting. Combined with this and my TOTAL loss of control for happiness in my own life - I'm pretty sure I've developed an ED. My ED makes me feel alive. It is the one and only thing I do in my life that I get to see true, positive results. My job is bringing me nothing positive except for money. And it's SO damn easy to do considering I actually get in trouble with my boss if I try to eat. I've successfully dropped down to 98.8lbs at a BMI of 16.7. I weigh myself completely naked everytime I am in the bathroom. I obsess over filling myself with water, tea, and broth. Lately, my average daily caloric intake has been anywhere between 150-450. And I can finally wear all my high school clothes I have been hanging on to! I feel simply *amazing*.

Today was bad, though. Today I was working at my computer, and suddenly saw a million little black dancing spots all over my screen. I brushed it off, and kept working. My vision does get weird, sometimes after looking at a monitor too long. about half an hour later I start to get tunnel vision, my ears start ringing, and I break into a cold sweat. I ran to the bathroom (bad idea) and tried to throw up but I nearly passed out in there. I decided to ball up on the ground under my desk and lay there for a while. I eventually found a ride home because there's no way I could've driven home like that. I stuffed my face with baked chicken, rice with soy sauce, and gatorades upon gatorades. I think I've consumed about 1200 calories today and I feel DISGUSTING. It's all "healthy" calories (not that that even matters to me) but I was crying as I ate all this food. But I made myself do it. I got so scared today. Today is my one day that I get to eat this much. I am going back to my normal 150-450 schedule tomorrow. I also ordered some multi-vitamins today to hopefully supplement what I am missing out on.

I am scared, guys. Do you think the vitamins will help? I am *kind of* happy at my CW but I am utterly petrified of eating enough per day to maintain. The feeling of chewing and swallowing food makes me depressed and makes me feel like the last thing I have control over in my life is disintegrating. I can't let go of this, I am not ready. But I think my body is totally disagreeing with me and I am not sure where to go next.

Thanks for reading all of this. I am excited to finally contribute to this community that I have loved from afar all this time!

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"You're A Growing Boy"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 11 18:29:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ednn3/youre_a_growing_boy/
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[deleted]

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[Help] Most motivation I've had in a while, need tips to channel it.
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 17:58:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4edj7h/most_motivation_ive_had_in_a_while_need_tips_to/
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My boyfriend's friend and his girlfriend invited us out for a weekend at the beach in about a month.


They're cool people, but that guy's girlfriend is really pretty. And has really big boobs (I'm hardly and A...)


I just know I'm going going to in a bathing suit next to someone prettier and bustier than me in their bathing suit all weekend. And that sucks. (I think my boyfriend is too attractive for me, so really pretty people are triggering. I feel like he's just going to realize he could get someone like that and leave me one day.)

Right now I have a weird bathing suit romper thing because, SURPRISE, I hate my body, but I was thinking. What if just lose and lose and lose for a month? Could I wear a cute bathing suit? Could I have a thigh gap? I might not be busty, but I could be delicate.

Do you think this is possible? I don't know the best way to get there. For right now I'm just trying to stay under 700 cals a day, but I feel like I could do more. I really would like to get to 100.

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[Rant/Rave] (Rant) I'm so embarrassed.
/u/wispypixie [5'0 | too scared to look | NB]
Created: Mon Apr 11 17:49:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4edhr6/rant_im_so_embarrassed/
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My SO just told his family that I'm on a diet... They were discussing grocery shopping and he brought it up and I'm mortified. I told him recently I'm wanting to 'eat better' because I'm tired of hating myself (as a way to keep him from worrying when I restrict). He even said a calorie amount but I didn't hear what it was as I'm in a different room.

His sister was in the room when he said it and I've competed with her in the past over our weight (we have a strange relationship).. I'm just so fucking mortified. I want to die. :(

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[Other] can relate.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Apr 11 17:21:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eddos/can_relate/
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http://imgur.com/rZoveE5

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[Rant/Rave] "Your tummy is so cuddly I love to squish it!"
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Apr 11 17:20:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eddfj/your_tummy_is_so_cuddly_i_love_to_squish_it/
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aka "you have flab everywhere, way to go, chubster". thanks, SO. he also said he told his coworkers i was "thicker than a bowl of oatmeal" (supposed to be a joke i guess) and he regularly grabs my thighs and squishes my tummy and love handles. like can you just not? i cant wait until im 95 lbs and there's nothing left to squish anymore and he tells me how tiny i am instead of "thick". is that a compliment to some people? i wanna hide in my bed.

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[Goal] Phew. Today yall.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 17:06:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4edbei/phew_today_yall/
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So I pretty much fasted all day. Paced as much as possible. I added my popcorn binge from last night to today and didn't eat anything except a spoonful of brown rice and two pieces of cut up chicken. Also a shocktop lemon shandy I was craving that's only like ~130 cals. Might or might not hit the bottle later on. We will see. But I'm not craving food. It's been a long time since I could say that. Just gotta tell myself it's not important and it's not good. Also pooped which is tmi but it's nice to run on a clear system haha. I stayed hydrated till I broke my fast at about 5:30 pm. I will take today as a success in that aspect. Had a row with the family and with my loved one, but we will perservere. He's got baggage, I've got baggage, fuckin little Susie down the road's got herself some baggage. But we will make it. I love him so much more everyday. The ed is bad for everyone but I'm on medication and I'm gonna learn how to control "I'm fat" ×3 every thirty seconds I'm with someone. It's like a form of tourettes almost, and I mean no offense if anyone has it or otherwise. It's just a constant in my life. I'm feeling hopeful, we gotta come back from our mental breaks stronger. I won't let my brain beat me. But I'm still gonna be skinny and beautiful. Shhhh (:

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[Rant/Rave] Damn Toblerone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 11 16:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ed835/damn_toblerone/
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My roommate gave me all this candy last week and I've been managing to eat it in "reasonable" amounts. I just can't get the thought of that Toblerone out of my mind. It's a giant one, I've been breaking off one triangle every day or two. It's still there and I feel like I think about it too often. I don't know why I haven't thrown it out already, it's like a form of self torture where I force myself to only have a piece despite it constantly being in the back of my mind.

The same thing happens when there is peanut butter in the house, or cheddar cheese and crackers. I wish I could survive solely off greek yogurt sometimes, it's delicious but I don't ever need to binge on it.

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[Rant/Rave] I have failed... kind of.
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Mon Apr 11 16:39:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ed74n/i_have_failed_kind_of/
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I don't expect anyone to reply to this or care, I am just venting I guess. I'm not trying to beat myself up about it too much, but I was trying to fast today. I did pretty well... but I had a few bites of a salad and 1 fry. So I failed on that aspect, but I guess it's not that many calories... and I know I'm going to go home and eat. But I am proud for how good I have been with restricting today... I guess.

Why must I love food so much?
Why is it so hard?
I don't feel very well from not eating though, so I have to when I get home... well I guess I don't have to... sigh.

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[Rant/Rave] Commiserate with me
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | 22.7 | -12 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 16:17:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ed3vh/commiserate_with_me/
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So I got forced into inpatient. They're taking my phone and my EC stack and I got put on a psychiatric hold, so I legally have to be here.


And is that's not bad enough, I'm the fattest one here.


Fuck

My.

Life.

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[Rant/Rave] Why would he do that?
/u/Thepuginpink
Created: Mon Apr 11 16:05:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ed1w8/why_would_he_do_that/
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Uggh, I'm just so mad right now. I hate the way I look so bad that I never take pictures of myself. Never never never. My family is down to see me for my birthday and my brother takes a picture of me and posts it to his Instagram. And holy shit I look awful, my fave is so fat I look like a bulldog. Now everyone that I've been avoiding since I moved a year ago knows what I look like and it depresses me so bad. He knows I hate pictures and it makes me so angry. I honestly don't know what to do. I just hate how fat my face is and I hate pictures. Sorry I just needed to rant.

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[Goal] small NSV
/u/intlspacetrash [5'5" | 116.5 lbs | 19.61 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 16:02:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ed1ec/small_nsv/
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I've been feeling really gross most of the weekend because I've been eating too much (those pesky munchies 😅) Not being able to weigh or measure myself this weekend hasn't helped those feelings any so I was pretty stoked to see that American Apparel [commented on a photo](http://imgur.com/a/AsF2V) I'd submitted to a giveaway they're having. It doesn't do much about eating like crap this weekend, but I'm still pretty excited about it.

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[Tip] Ho-oly crap PB2. Bringe prevention maybe?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 15:14:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ecton/hooly_crap_pb2_bringe_prevention_maybe/
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I am very prone to eating large quantities of food. Maybe not exactly "binging" by some standards, but more food than I intended to eat counts as a binge in my book.

This weekend was a bust for me. And large amounts of food makes me want to eat large amounts of food again and again as the days go on in what I consider a binge cycle. My original plan was to fast today. I wanted to cleanse myself, but that didn't really work out. I felt the urge to binge (I only took one round of EC stacking this morning and it usually wears off in about 6 hours in my experience so... yes).

Welp, I lost control and ate some rice cakes and light swiss cheese, then a few granola bars, and then my brain decided PB2 would be the perfect binge food.

We all have probably heard of the magic PB2 by now: very much like peanut butter which is a huge trigger food for me.

Welp. I made some PB2 peanut butter (was somewhere around 5-ish tablespooms of the stuff dry) and oh my god... it's like a fucking brick in my gut. It has completely stopped any urge I have to keep going. My binge stopped at 860-ish calories. As opposed to my usual 2000-ish calorie binge.

I would recommend to anyone... if I had started with the PB2 I probably would have stopped binging at almost 200 calories instead of nearly 900.

Time to go cry a little over another lost day... but I thought I'd share with you guys because I have never experienced something that potent before.

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[Rant/Rave] Binge and Grumbling Tummy
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 15:09:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ecsuy/binge_and_grumbling_tummy/
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Earlier today I had a mini binge because there was almost half a cinnimon roll on the counter, I was craving protein and there were beefsticks in the fridge, then finally I had a jello cup to get the fowl taste out of my mouth. I was just gonna have some cereal and coffee but ended up stuffing my pie hole. After all that I started shaking and had to lay down. Made me physically and mentally sick.

It's hours later in the day, thankfully and now my tummy is rumbling and growling. I feel a little bit better knowing that I am currently hungry but strong enough to deny that shallow physical need.

Kinda stressing because I don't know if I'll be lazy and pass up exercise. Also, going to a friend's house tonight and she always pushes food because she knows about the ED.

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[Goal] Progress photo today, meh
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 14:18:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eckb7/progress_photo_today_meh/
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https://i.reddituploads.com/71a82ed54139445f9df898f33c2437cc?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=0ee06997a00d048a092f650276589946

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[Other] I think a lot of you would enjoy this video
/u/anordinarypenguin [5'2''|111.8|20.45|-24|F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 13:29:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ecbqa/i_think_a_lot_of_you_would_enjoy_this_video/
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https://www.facebook.com/AboveAverageProductions/videos/1167955923228667/

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[Discussion] My hubby and I are in a race.
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Mon Apr 11 12:58:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ec66c/my_hubby_and_i_are_in_a_race/
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I thought that it would be so hard to talk to my hubby about this issue I have. I thought that it would break his heart, bring shame to me, and it would be "one of those things". But no, I had the talk with him. He is OK with it; in fact, he will help me. This came as such a surprise. He has embraced that his is what I want, and I don't know how to feel about it...

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[Rant/Rave] Sick and tired of fighting with SO
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 11 12:06:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ebxcx/sick_and_tired_of_fighting_with_so/
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After about three years of fighting recovery, here I am again.

I have taken such comfort in being on this sub even for the short amount time I have been here!!! I AM SO TIRED OF FIGHTING WITH MY SO ABOUT MY ED.

I am at wits end. I don't know what to do anymore besides blatantly lie. Not lying is something I value about our relationship. Being truthful, and hell, even sometimes transparent. Sometimes I truly want recovery (I want a life, my life, back, but waiver on this tiresome fight) and want him to talk me down. Or his support.

But fuck. I can't have this fight anymore.

Do you guys lie to your SO? is that what I have to do? Fully give up and 'eat my meal plan' or lie? Are those really my options?

"Did you eat lunch?"
"Yes"

UGH UGH UGH. I'm not a low weight. My health has zero concerns right now. He said "It's your mental health that concerns me. I know if I go away for 12 days I won't come home to you having starved to death but this is important to me"

I know it is. I wish I wanted this all the time so I could stop hurting him. I feel terrible. I've begged him to leave me before (we have been together, gosh, 12 years?) and told him I couldn't put him through this. But ugh.

Sometimes I wish he would just leave me alone. He's mad at me for wanting to exercise today and not bringing a full lunch.

Sigh. I don't know what to do. He insisted i text my therapist. I did. I told her I honestly didn't want her to interrupt my plan for the day and what I had committed to myself. So what was I supposed to do???? I asked her that. I guess we'll see what she says.

I DON'T. I don't want anyone getting in the way all the fucking time. Why can't everyone just leave me alone.

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[Help] Health anxiety over potassium
/u/stealgravity [5'5.5 | 128lbs (BMI 21) | -14.2lbs]
Created: Mon Apr 11 11:50:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ebuht/health_anxiety_over_potassium/
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My fucking brain won't let me sleep. I try to keep my intake around 1k-1200 without going over (with IF though I'm not always getting that high), but MFP keeps telling me my potassium intake is low. I'm only eating high potassium foods but I'm still only coming up to around 1200mg per day and it's freaking me out.

Not to mention most foods for whatever reason don't list potassium. I'd try supplementation but I keep thinking I could over do it and get sick that way. So now at night I'm having panic attacks thinking I'll end up with low potassium and like die, or I'll end up eating more and wrecking my progress.

I've only been restricting for like a month anyway and I'm not underweight so I feel like logically I shouldn't even be worrying but that's not how anxiety works I guess. I've been thinking about getting black strap molasses, as it's got a ton of potassium iron and magnesium (I think) for fewer calories than honey and is still low GI.

On the plus side I fought off a PMS binge craving, I wanted toffee ice cream but I bought these Werther's instead and limited myself to just a few of them. I hit my first goal weight just in time to pack on period water weight.

I had a weird moment of clarity. When I was getting ready to go out the other night I hated everything I saw in the mirror, spent hours just trying to tweak things so I felt OK enough to go out. But when I came back and was getting ready to go to bed I looked at myself, wearing tight clothes for the first time in years and didn't recognize my own body. Like I looked at myself and realized I was actually smaller. Didn't last though, and I dunno what exactly I'm looking for, I just don't wanna feel like I need to cover up all the time.

Sorry bout the rant y'all. TLDR, scared I'm dying from low potassium but I'm probs not. Wish I knew what I actually NEEDED to survive but didn't find anything. (Wasn't sure what to flair this as)

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[Goal] reached UGW-1, whoop de freaking doo.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 11:00:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ebm00/reached_ugw1_whoop_de_freaking_doo/
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Well despite a crap weekend, I hit my UGW 1 of 115lbs. And yet....I don't care? I've wanted to be this weight for YEARS. I've been pining for this weight since...2008? 2009?

Here I am...and yet it feels so hollow. I guess this is what happens when you let ED take the mental reigns; nothing is good enough, no goal weight will satisfy you. I wonder, will I feel this ennui once I reach 110lbs? the ultimate-ultimate goal weight?

I hope not, because I really shouldn't go below 110lbs, not if I want to keep family/friends off my back.

feh.

sidenote-I keep typing 'UGW' as 'UGH', coincidence?

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[Help] When you restrict...
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Mon Apr 11 10:11:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ebdvh/when_you_restrict/
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I apologize if this has been asked before, but what do you eat and what is your calorie intake?

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 11 10:03:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ebcdg/daily_food_diary_april_11_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for April 11, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] Rant / Stream of Consciousness... feel free to ignore
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | too fat | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 09:49:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eb9yp/rant_stream_of_consciousness_feel_free_to_ignore/
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I'm not even sure what to say... I thought I was doing better but I'm not. I feel trapped inside this disgusting body, and I just want to kill/cut off the parts of me I hate and become someone else. And what's worse is I feel trapped inside my mind. Why can't I just be in control? I am out of control, but I'm still "me." So the greedy, fat, worthless, selfish part of me is in control right now, and I can't take it anymore.

I just want to live my life... I want to live a normal fucking life. I want to take care of my apartment and clean and cook healthy foods and do my nails and do everything I keep putting off because "I just can't right now." I want to go for walks and listen to music and read the books that have been piling up that "I'll get to eventually." I don't care how much money I make or how many friends I have, I just want to be content with a simple, normal life.

I'm so ANGRY at myself. WHY can't I just DO IT. I think okay, you're going to do better, Jelly, you're going to do things right and take care of yourself and eat right and lose the weight and love your life. I'll make plans and lists and rules. I'll wash my face and brush my teeth and take my vitamins. I'll tell myself that maybe I'm not such a horrible person, and maybe I do deserve a better life, and all I need to do is try a little harder. And then I JUST DON'T FUCKING DO ANY OF IT. Apparently binging on everything I can get my hands on and lying in bed staring blankly and pushing away my SO is how I want my life to be. That must be what I really want, since I can't get my lazy fucking ass up and do anything else right.

I'm pathetic and full of excuses. And really fucking dramatic too, re-reading this entire rant. I don't know what I want either. Clearly not help, since no one can make me do anything. I wish they could. "The only one stopping me is me," I repeat over and over again. I don't want to die, but it would be nice to be in a freaking coma for a while. I just don't know what I'm doing. I'm so lost. I am such a failure at life.

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[Help] I'm going to my college dining hall soon to meet with friends. I've been having an awful day and all I want to do is cry, hug my boyfriend, and binge. Please help me.
/u/AllHailTheGremlins [5'7" | 144 lbs | 22.48 | F 21yo]
Created: Mon Apr 11 09:46:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eb9i7/im_going_to_my_college_dining_hall_soon_to_meet/
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I don't want to live like this.

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[Rant/Rave] I wish I was anorexic. How fucked up is that?
/u/AllHailTheGremlins [5'7" | 144 lbs | 22.48 | F 21yo]
Created: Mon Apr 11 08:50:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eb0k3/i_wish_i_was_anorexic_how_fucked_up_is_that/
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Instead of being anorexic, I get to have a binge eating disorder. Fuck me, right? I go through the same hell of self loathing feeling physically ill, etc. But I don't even get to look good. Instead I'm a fat fuck (flair isn't accurate, I gained 10 lbs) who gains and loses and gains and loses 20 pounds over and over again.

I'm obsessed with food. I love it and hate it simultaneously. I'm constantly trying to avoid it or compulsively seeking out my next binge. I love you guys, I do. But so many people here ares super skinny and have this amazing control over what you eat and I'm so angry and hateful towards myself for not being able to have that.

I know it's a curse for a lot of you guys too. I know anorexia isn't easy. But god damn if I'm not incredibly jealous. If I go through hell too, I at least want to look good. But instead I have to wear sweatpants and sweatshirts to hide my arms and my thighs. I can't wear pretty dresses anymore, not since I've been gaining again. I can't have sex with the lights on without hiding under the comforter. I hate having sex under the comforter. It's hot and uncomfortable, but I have to pretend it's what I prefer otherwise my boyfriend would probably protest.

Yesterday I binged twice to the point where after each time I was laying in bed in a large amount of physical pain both times. Even after the first time I couldn't stop myself and did it again. I CAN'T FUCKING STOP IT. I wanted to throw it all up, but fuck me I can't even be bulimic. I've fucking tried to purge. I've sat in front of the toilet crying and shoving a toothbrush down my throat. All the way down, moving it around, but I physically couldn't throw up. My body would let me. I was so close a few times, but it's hard. I've only been able to throw up once in my adult life and it was when I had a stomach bug so bad that I had to go to the hospital.

I see all you guys posting about your restricting and reaching goal weights and I'm so fucking angry, but NOT at you. At myself. I hate myself. I just want to be skinny. I feel so out of place here but I don't know where to go.

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[Goal] I have control
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Mon Apr 11 08:32:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eaxmq/i_have_control/
---
These past few weeks have been rough. I weighed 114.0 at the doctor's office. I don't have a scale, so I can't weigh myself, but I've been binging and binging since then. It's Monday, a new day, a new week... I hope by posting this it helps me stay on track. I'm going to fast today... the hardest part is I work in a restaurant and am around food all day.

I have control.
I have control.
I keep telling myself I can do this.
I'm not going to let myself fail.
Please Self, YOU ARE STRONG.

And hopefully I will find myself at the gym later too....

---

[Rant/Rave] I CAN'T STOP EATING
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Mon Apr 11 08:12:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eaule/i_cant_stop_eating/
---
Help! FML

And I even bought more food cause it's healthy, someone should stop me. :(

---

[Goal] I did it
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Apr 11 06:58:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eakry/i_did_it/
---
I actually did it guys. I went downstaires ready to eat it ALL and then I opened the fridge, looked. Said "no" and closed it. I did it, I'm so proud. I didn't binge, I've been fasting all day so far and will have broth for dinner. Yes, I did it.

---

[Rant/Rave] I lost my appetite.
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 06:53:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eak5m/i_lost_my_appetite/
---
Usually my brain is in b/p mode. Yesterday, I felt as though I was about to binge again. I went for the unfinished lemon Noosa and had a few bites. I was disgusted. I immediately spit out what I could and trashed the rest. I have had no desire to eat anything since then. I'll take it as a blessing. I don't feel controlled by food. For now, anyways.

---

[Rant/Rave] Feeling like a failure
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Apr 11 06:27:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eah3x/feeling_like_a_failure/
---
I've been off work due to stress, imsomnia and feeling weak. I've been restricting very closely, even on bad days no more than 1000 calories.

And I've still gained 1 3/4 lbs! How! I even accidentally purged by adding half a bottle of habenero sauce to my noodle soup (I like spicy food) so I must have lost waste and water weight.

How is this happening! It can't be bloat, I've not long finished my period. Everything sucks.

---

[Discussion] Does a low weight count if you're dehydrated?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 06:07:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eaetz/does_a_low_weight_count_if_youre_dehydrated/
---
Cause I feel like I'm just gonna gain 9 lbs suddenly haha

---

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! April 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 11 06:03:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4eaecz/weekly_stats_update_april_11_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for April 11, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Intro] Long Time Lurker
/u/HauntedLittleBitch [5'6 | 146lbs | 24 | -5lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 04:01:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ea2uj/long_time_lurker/
---
Hi, long time lurker, first time poster- hence the new account. I guess you shouldn't link friends to your main Reddit account... But I just wanted to introduce myself.

Anyway, basically-

I'm 20, living in the UK, that's about it. I was diagnosed with Non-Purging Bulimia back when I was 15. I lived in cycles of 2 day fasts then binging over and over again, took up exercise but still shifted between 145 and 151 over and over and over and over. I'm so sick of this! I'm going to try my hardest to get down to the weight I've been trying to be for so long. I just want to go a week without eating so much food I hate myself, without having to exercise for hours just to get rid of it.

I hope everyone else is okay today; even if it's a cloudy day, I hope each and every one of you is doing even just a little bit okay today. I know this is hard but I hope you're all okay.

---

[Rant/Rave] AHAHAHAHA my boyfriend is oblivious as FUCK
/u/queencactus [5'8/173cm | 143lbs/65kg | 21 | -59lbs/27kg) | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 02:57:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e9x8a/ahahahaha_my_boyfriend_is_oblivious_as_fuck/
---
I love him to pieces.. especially when he's being oblivious as hell. my mum and grandmother are catching on to my small portions, and he said, word for word, "you can't be anorexic, I see you eat!".

bless his heart.

---

[Rant/Rave] Laxatives..
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 02:39:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e9vnb/laxatives/
---
Ugh... I hate them. They don't even help lose any real weight, but any time I start to feel too big I take them now. I don't even know why...

I have insomnia. I finally fell asleep. Less than two hours later I'm awakened by ungodly cramps in my stomach. Worse cramps than I've ever had taking lax before (because I didnt drink enough water yesterday like an idiot).

Dehydration from all the fucking food I consumed over the weekend plus the laxatives... i feel like i have a fucking hangover from hell... this is terrible... but I know I won't stop. Why....

---

[Rant/Rave] I need to fast today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 11 02:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e9skz/i_need_to_fast_today/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] im so hammered lol
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 11 00:50:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e9mg1/im_so_hammered_lol/
---
[deleted]

---

[Help] Blood during purge?
/u/ixxybitsy [5'3 | 146.8 lbs | 26.72 | -36 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 00:34:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e9kzj/blood_during_purge/
---
So a while back I had this huge dumb binge and I went hard and tried to hack up everything I've eaten. After a little while I noticed this bright red string of blood where I was sicking and stopped. My throat doesn't feel terrible or anything but I'm scared something bad might happen anyway. Have you guys experienced blood in vomit before? How long do you think I'm supposed to take a break before I can start purging again? Thank you!

---

[Rant/Rave] First goal weight and getting compliments
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 146.2 | 26.61 | -49.8 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 11 00:10:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e9ira/first_goal_weight_and_getting_compliments/
---
I'm so excited. I finally hit my first goal weight. It's not much (only down to 150lbs) but it's the smallest I've been in 2 years. I didn't think it was noticeable yet, but when at my in-laws earlier tonight, they both commented saying that I was looking great. I had previously told them I was on a slight diet, cutting out snacks and greasy foods, as a way of getting out of eating desserts that are always offered after meals and why I counted calories. I had even gotten my father in law into keeping track of his foods. (He's a bit overweight and it's actually been helping him lose some.) I almost wanted to cry when they said that I was looking good because my father-in-law has never been one to offer compliments. It just strengthened my resolve to keep losing. As long as I keep losing at relatively the same rate, I can be at my 4th goal weight by the time I go back to my hometown for a visit during the 4th of July (I do 10lb goals to keep me motivated) and hopefully at my current ugw by my wedding anniversary in August. I'm just so excited so I had to share my excitement with someone. Hope everyone is having a lovely morning/day.

---

[Rant/Rave] Tough weekend
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 110 | 16.54 | -35 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 23:21:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e9e3v/tough_weekend/
---
I'm unintentionally doing a sort of reverse 5:2. It's so much easier for me to not eat at work because I'm busy all day and then I exercise and then it's bedtime. I ate more than I intended this weekend, although still at a deficit I think. I haven't weighed myself since Friday since I know it would just be upsetting and I can see my ugly round tummy. But in the shower just now, I looked down, and my top three ribs were there, just hanging out, reassuring me. Things are going to be ok. Here's to a good week, everyone <3.

---

[Rant/Rave] Miserable quasi-purge
/u/jesustunafish [5'5" | 120 | 20.2 | -10 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 22:54:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e9bcn/miserable_quasipurge/
---
Ugh. I've been restricting very steadily during the week, working out 6 days a week, and feeling great lately. And I've been giving myself one day a week of no restrictions or exercise at all -- on Sundays. And usually I'm fine, but today I ate what I though would constitute a pretty normal amount of food that I assumed would be ok. And then I threw up twice, not from intentionally purging, but just because my stomach rejected the food from being so full. It wasn't even enough that came up to constitute a complete purge so now I feel both full and terrible. And I can't finish it because my roommate is right next to the bathroom and witnessed everything and is already suspicious of me. And I'm terrible at purging anyway and hate getting bloodshot cry-eyes from it. It's like my ability to tell how I feel is delayed by hours and I am incapable of reading my body's signals. Or my body and my mind are never wanting the same thing at the same time. :(

---

[Discussion] Low weight?
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 22:42:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e9a3j/low_weight/
---
Hello lovelies <3

So I'm about 5'5"-5'6" and my weight ranges from about 98-105 depending on if I binged, what drugs I've done recently, if I'm on my period, etc.

I was wondering what my goal low weight should be considering my height? And if comfortable, please share your height and goal low weight for reference. :)

---

[Discussion] That Ana feel
/u/bitten-and-bleeding [5"7 | CW 133 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Apr 10 22:33:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e994g/that_ana_feel/
---
when you find yourself googling, "how many calories in a tic-tac" or "how many fat calories in 1 almond"

anyone care to add? :P

---

[Goal] I will live with my consequences
/u/pepto_bitchmol [5'4 | 122.5 | 21.44 | -55 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 22:31:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e98wf/i_will_live_with_my_consequences/
---
I will not purge.

I will let this melted bag of chocolate chips absorb into my body, infecting my blood stream with toxic amounts of sugar. I will allow my insulin to spike, triggering a face full of painful, red pimples tomorrow morning. I will allow the calories to mutate into a squishy layer of fat, masking my delicate bones. I will allow my stomach to ache, overfull with sickening sweetness. I will wake up tomorrow morning, sluggish and sick and regretful.

I **will** **not** take the easy way out. I will bask in this feeling of physical and mental revulsion, and then I will never do this to myself again.

---

[Goal] Monady-Friday water fast... here we go...
/u/bitten-and-bleeding [5"7 | CW 133 | GW 110]
Created: Sun Apr 10 22:12:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e96sr/monadyfriday_water_fast_here_we_go/
---
I'm taking laxatives tonight to get my body ready to be empty all week... not sure how much to take but I'll probably take a higher "dose"?

Anyway, I'll be doing yoga and breathing exercises at home every day, going to yoga classes in the evenings... and drinking plenty of water and tea. I may indulge in some kombucha as a treat and to keep my gut healthy. I believe a bottle of my fave brand is 60 calories.

Anyone else making a pledge for this week?

edit: aw man, I made a typo in the title!

---

[Rant/Rave] One of my relatives asked if I was on a diet.
/u/fishysandwich [5'3 | 124 | 22 | -21 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 21:32:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e928v/one_of_my_relatives_asked_if_i_was_on_a_diet/
---
When summer comes, my family is going to go to my aunt and uncle's 25th anniversary. My mom was talking about how she was losing a couple pounds to look good in her dress. I'm not sure if she mentioned me losing weight or something as well - I didn't pay much attention. But then my relative asked me, "are you on a diet?"

Like, dammit, do I still look like I have pounds to lose? My ribs show, and whenever I refuse a sweet because "oh I'll get fat" I get told I'm not fat at all. It still REALLY bothers me though. I want to be skinny enough that the idea of me on a diet is worrying to people.

---

[Discussion] Problems thinking of Relapse as Recovery
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 21:28:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e91oe/problems_thinking_of_relapse_as_recovery/
---
I wonder if I'm alone on this. My behavior has been getting a bit bad, cried after super last night. My girlfriend has obviously taken notice and we talked about it a bit. Everytime we talked about "relapse" and "recovery" my brain kept viewing it as relapsing into being a fat blob and recovering my old life style. I know she views those the opposite. Hope this makes sense.

---

One of my relatives asked me if I was on a diet.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 10 21:22:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e90xg/one_of_my_relatives_asked_me_if_i_was_on_a_diet/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] Discovering that I love just eating straight up peanut butter is the worst
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 20:35:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e8uuh/discovering_that_i_love_just_eating_straight_up/
---
I don't even need bread anymore! Just a spoon! It's so calorie dense, why couldn't I have an obsession with celery or some shit, not peanut butter. Ugh. If I eat this jar tonight though then I won't have any for tomorrow and I could move on. I hate that logic so much. I should just throw it away and cover it with soap but it's so good. Every time I get close to my goal weight my body just won't stop being hungry! Rough night guys, rough night.

---

[Thinspo] Please help me find a certain thinspo picture!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 10 19:51:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e8p66/please_help_me_find_a_certain_thinspo_picture/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] I was drunk the other night and confessed to my girlfriend about some of this. Mixed emotions.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 19:05:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e8j34/i_was_drunk_the_other_night_and_confessed_to_my/
---
So, as always, I make bad decisions while drunk. I had a day out with my friend, ate about 1800 calories and walked off about 300. I was only over my tdee by about 100. And still I was panicky and trying to hold myself together, wanting to cry because I was hungry and scared of eating more. I texted my girlfriend about wanting to cry and throw up, explained all of it. She knows enough about my ED to know how to avoid feeding into it. I told her about how I'd lost weight and I was restricting again, and the ED part of me wanted her to ask "how much" and for her to react when I said how much. I wouldve loved that, in a sick way. Instead she just asked me if i was at a healthy weight still. I said technically no. It made me feel awful, and embarrassed, to admit to falling into the same bad habits again.

In the morning, sober, I reread everything and cried, again. Boy I'm a fun person /s. I felt simultaneously lucky as hell to have a girlfriend so understanding and loving, and like human garbage for putting the same bulshit on her time and time again. But here's the thing: i dont want to make a rash decision and throw myself headfirst back into recovery (for the millionth time) because I know thatll lead to me binging nonstop, freaking out, restricting super hard again.

So I'm making a compromise; somethings gotta give. I cant be fully restricting, toying with purging, calling myself a fat pig and looking at reversethinspo whenever Im hungry. I know thats mentally killing me. But, (sounding hypocritical here) im not going to let myself gain a fuckton of weight and become a whale in the name of recovery. I'm still going to hit my ugw. Itll just take more time. Ill still restrict (without freaking out like hell if I go over 800calories) and Ill let myself go a little loose on the weekend when Im with friends, so i can still enjoy myself. Im only 1.8lbs away from my ugw and no one has said that I look sick or unhealthy, so I dont think theyll notice or care when Im at 95lbs. Itll keep me happy, and then Ill maintain and keep them happy.


Im not really sure why Im posting this, youre just the only people who understand. No one else I know will get or know what to say to any of my ED ramblings and I'd feel really alone without this subreddit. I've never even hit a weight this low before I found this place, I know its because of you guys. I love you all. This isnt a goodbye, I honestly dont know what I'd do with my time if I didnt check here 20 times a day. I just need to spell out my future plan somewhere to get it straight. And you guys get me. Thanks. <3

---

[Other] Haha Fuck.
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 18:38:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e8fjc/haha_fuck/
---
http://25.media.tumblr.com/f3fc758a752a2a6f0b7d6170e113d6a0/tumblr_movvc86oJn1s6x4aoo1_500.png

---

[Goal] Personal Diet from 4/10 to 5/10
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 18:31:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e8el6/personal_diet_from_410_to_510/
---
[GOAL] (no mobile flair sorry)


Hey guys, I'm making this post to keep myself accountable. I find that when I post my food plans on here, I usually follow through with them. So, here's my plan:




- Eat a maximum of 400 kcal a day.



- All food consumed must be HCLF vegan.



- The volume of food must be under 2 cups.



- 23/1 IF, meaning I will only eat between 4:30-5:30 pm.



- 6/1 weekly plan. One day a week I will eat food as I please, but all food for that day must total under 1200 kcal.



- Only ONE meal per day. No binging, no purging.


- Unlimited tea, black coffee, and water ofc.



- 1 multivitamin every other day. Take B-12 as needed.




Well, really hoping this works. I'll be posting updates on this thread.



NOTE: This is not me sharing tips or anything. This is me documenting my progress in a diary-style.

---

[Rant/Rave] I'm so excited now
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 17:37:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e87a2/im_so_excited_now/
---
Four weeks. I have four weeks to lose 11 pounds. I am finally alone at college with no obligation to go home (i never thought id be so happy for finals).

This weekend was fucked because I have people in my life. But I'll be all alone to do as I will. And oh I will.

Four fucking weeks!!! Fuck yes!!!

Edit: if anyone has any advice on how to make 11 pounds happen please advise. I'm planning on restricting 500 or less per day and EC stacking. Is this going to even be good enough?

---

[Help] how do I stay healthy while eating only 500 calories a day?
/u/useh3rname [4'10| 85| 17.76| -20 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 17:33:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e86tz/how_do_i_stay_healthy_while_eating_only_500/
---
I know it might be a bit impossible but what measures could I take so that I'm not loosing clumps of hair or that I'm not fainting all the time.

---

[Rant/Rave] One of those days
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | 154 | -12 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 17:27:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e85zf/one_of_those_days/
---
Today is one of those days (actually it's been almost an entire weekend) where my friends/roommates have been pressuring me to go out to eat a lot... I don't mind once a week or so because I can plan but we got bagels for brunch and then dinner at a sandwich place that has very limited options... and now they want to go get ice cream in a couple hours! I would pull the 'I don't have money' card, but they know that I do since I worked a lot last week. I wish I could just go with it and not freak out but my anxiety is through the roof and I've already eaten probably 1500 calories today I can't even imagine eating any more :(

Does anyone else have any idea of what to say/do that's not weird but gets me out of this cycle???

---

[Discussion] I don't think I can do this Keto for long, the dense foods stress me out. Is anyone else following this diet?
/u/Highlyunattractive
Created: Sun Apr 10 16:47:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e8082/i_dont_think_i_can_do_this_keto_for_long_the/
---
I'm only on the second day, this morning I had Keto flu and basic low energy. I don't want to wait it out for my energy level to pick up.
I decided to pick up this diet because I don't have periods, my body is probably very toxic without shedding my uterus.

Is anyone else liking the diet despite the foods being so dense? How do you get past this.

I would post on Keto sub forum but I think the females here would have a better understanding.

I don't feel excited about weighing myself next weekend. Did anyone here have success while starting off at an already low weight?

Really curious

---

[Discussion] Is there something like too much water?
/u/skinnyhotlinebling [1.75 | 57 kg | 18.3 | - 19 kg | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 16:35:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7yi3/is_there_something_like_too_much_water/
---
I've been drinking a lot of water, to the point of feeling really bad (it seems that I have rocks in my stomach), but it really makes me feel full and I've been losing weight since I started. Is it really bad for me? I thought that drinking water, regardless of the quantity, was always good, but a friend told me that it can be really dangerous, but wasn't able to explain me why.

---

[Help] I don't know if I'm going too far
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 10 16:30:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7xs3/i_dont_know_if_im_going_too_far/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Any tips to get rid of that 'full' feeling?
/u/not_meeeee
Created: Sun Apr 10 15:56:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7t2q/any_tips_to_get_rid_of_that_full_feeling/
---
I'm starting to hate feeling full *finally*. Full now just feels like regret. I just ate a big sandwich and now the feeling is here. It's one of those times where I don't think it's going to go away quickly. Any tips to help wash it down faster and get rid of this?

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[Rant/Rave] I hate doctors appointments
/u/pumpkin-poodle [5'3" | 84.8 | 15.44 (new BMI) | -66.2 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 15:43:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7r73/i_hate_doctors_appointments/
---
I have a phone visit with my thyroid doctor tomorrow. AGGGGHHHH.

At least I won't have to weigh in... My current doctor is really cool and doesn't know about my disordered habits, but I've been dreading doctors visits ever since I saw a different doctor awhile back who gave me a huge lecture about body image and how I "should" weigh. (Methinks he was a chubby chaser. 😒 )

Besides, I haven't had my period since I went off birth control and had my withdrawal bleed over three months ago. I've been really unhorny and dry too. So I'll have to mention that too. Great. But at least I'm not having a period, right??? 🙆 I was originally prescribed it for endo and got sick of the pharm tech girls giving me shit for it.

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else love being home alone?
/u/finding_zen [5'3 | 135 | 24.58 | -7 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 15:43:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7r6h/does_anyone_else_love_being_home_alone/
---
...I mean don't get me wrong, I love being around my fiance & SIL, but alone time means fasting/heavy restricting time. When they're here I get pressured in to eating a lot more often than I want to, mostly because of the SO fussing over me (which is admittedly very sweet, but can get frustrating). Plus, when they're here I try to stay off of this subreddit because I'm extra paranoid.

The best part is that when I'm alone, I get to smoke weed without having to share, enjoy a quiet nap, and go on a massive cleaning spree. All three of these things can keep me distracted from binging for hours! Then, once the whole place is clean, I can break out the adult coloring books and some tea and feel accomplished... or maybe I'll finally beat FFX. These days are my favorite days, perhaps because I'm the most boring person ever.

Does anyone else have little rituals like this when they're alone? How are you guys spending your day?

---

[Other] When your friends comment on how much weight you've lost and you're not even at your GW.
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.9 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 15:22:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7nxn/when_your_friends_comment_on_how_much_weight/
---
http://i.imgur.com/vgxqpV8.jpg

---

[Other] Goodbye.
/u/fiddlyduck [5'0 | 95 | 19.54 | -30.5 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 14:33:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7gfr/goodbye/
---
I haven't been here for long.

Maybe a week or so? But I've struggled with my weight for years now. I joined (really joined, not casually like I had tried a couple times before) MyFitnessPal 180 days ago and dropped nearly thirty pounds in three months. After that three month mark, I tried to maintain. 100 pounds at my height was optimal. But I didn't stay there for long. I became obsessed with losing. When my scale displayed the same number for over a week, I became distressed even though I knew there was nothing wrong with the numbers. 93 was my lowest weight, but my diminishing breasts shot my self confidence to hell. I went back up to 95. Even then I wasn't happy. Nothing I did made a difference.

Slowly, I became depressed. I didn't realize it for a long while, despite being a psych student. My sleeping patterns, which were already fucked up for years before this, became even more erratic. I slept for two or three hours in the afternoon and couldn't sleep at all during the night. If I slept in the night, I wouldn't wake up until midday, or later that afternoon. Sometimes, I wouldn't sleep for days at a time. My favorite activities were no longer appealing. Playing games somehow became a chore. I dreaded putting on makeup. I procrastinated watching my favorite TV shows. Reading wasn't even in the question. I avoided working out: I'd have to eat more during the days I worked out, and that was something I didn't want to do, no matter what. Sometimes, I didn't even want to see my friends.

"I'd rather die than be fat." This thought resounded in my head for hours at a time. I began to eat less than 600 calories a day.

And I began contemplating suicide. (Of course, I was too much of a coward to do anything about it.) What was the point of it all? I felt hollow inside, like someone had scooped out my innards and replaced it with a vacuum. I'm not sure what brought all of this on. Could've been stress from school, could've been the extended weight loss. I mentioned it to no one. Part of me felt as though I was making it all up. Looking for attention, even though I wasn't telling anyone about what I was feeling. To doubt your own emotions, and the intentions behind those emotions is debilitating. I felt so lost, and I had no idea what to do. I took comfort here. So many like-minded, *nice* people. I wasn't alone.

But it still came crashing down around me.

I had an argument with one of my closest friends about my weight and my diet. Out of frustration, he told me to "Keep nurturing your problem, then." We didn't talk for three days afterwards. When I messaged him again today, he didn't even want to talk to me. Someone told me that ED was a lonely disorder (/u/star-of-morning). They weren't wrong. I guess this is where I am now. The thought of losing someone so close to me is heartbreaking. And from his perspective, it must be the same. I'm not sure why I experienced that depressive episode (and I'm not sure if I'm completely over it), but I know why I'm taking control of my life now. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to lose my friends. I don't want to [disappear](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45hg4i/if_you_lose_much_more_weight_youll_disappear/).

Thank you for reading this.

Edit: Mods, if it's not too much trouble, please ban me from this subreddit?

---

[Rant/Rave] I found my old food diary.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 14:28:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7fr2/i_found_my_old_food_diary/
---
I had this food diary around the time I reached my lowest adult weight (111) in September 2014. My eating back then seemed so effortless, and so non-ED, but I was able to get to that low weight. My therapist made me keep this food diary so she could keep track of my eating since I was losing so rapidly.

On average, I would have coffee and a cigarette in the morning, a sandwich thin with a few ounces of sliced chicken and some bagel crisps for lunch (350 calories maybe?), and for "dinner", I would have a protein bar or hummus + pita or apples + peanut butter (about 200-300 calories). And I lost a shit ton of weight with *so many* carbs!

I've been searching for this food diary for weeks to get an idea of what I was eating to get my weight that low again and I'm really surprised I ate as much as I did and lost the weight. It was probably 600-800 calories a day.

Monday-Thursday this coming week are the only days I can *really* restrict, as Friday-Sunday I'm going to Washington DC with my mom. I think I might give my food diary "menu" a chance for 4 days and see how that works out. Actually I'm going to coffee fast tomorrow to get rid of whatever water weight (and probably actual weight) I gained this weekend from my mom being here and cooking. I am so angry with her. I watched her cook and not only did she use vegetable oil, but she would add coconut oil, too! And bacon grease! Gah.

---

[Other] [funny] I'm such an idiot
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Sun Apr 10 14:15:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7dvy/funny_im_such_an_idiot/
---
I went to the bathroom today... you know, the kind that doesn't happen every day... I went to clean up, and there was blood.

I was like, OMG. OMG. OMFG. I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding *internally*. I'm probably dying right this second. OMG. OMG. OMG.

After about thirty seconds of panicking, I go to finish cleaning up...

and realize that I've started my period.

I'm fine. Everything's fine. I've never been so happy to get my period before!

LOL I feel foolish today though!

---

[Rant/Rave] I've been binging the past few days. I am upset right now and I feel like going to the kitchen and destroying my body with more binging.
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 13:17:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e7522/ive_been_binging_the_past_few_days_i_am_upset/
---
I feel my stomach bloating from all the food. It's all the stress that's been building up inside. End of semester is nearing. I didn't get accepted into a programme I interviewed for. My hallucinations are coming back. I can't stop thinking about dying among the sea of thoughts of school and projects and assignments and finals. I'm not gonna be thinner if I keep eating like a goddamn cow. I have to get back to restricting. Heavier restriction this time. To cleanse my gross veins and arteries from all the food I've shoved into them.

I have a psychiatrist appointment on Tuesday where I'll have a weigh-in. I want to be 140 lbs then. I probably won't be, but I'm sure as hell going to fucking try. I feel my collarbones and wrist bones disappearing. I wish people would stop buying me food and force me to eat in front of them. My grandma bought me a fucking rice wrap thing from KFC. It was a good 4 inches in diameter and about 7 inches long. She sat next to me to watch me eat it. I wanted to spit out everything I chewed but I swallowed every single calorie of the stupid wrap in front of her. I know she means well but I've told her over and over that I don't eat rice.

I hate rice. I hate food. I don't like it. I don't like eating. So I don't know why the hell I can't stop eating like a pig. I have to stop. Holy fuck I'm so angry and sad. I'm sorry this is a stupid and pointless post. I have no one to talk to. I never do. No one wants to listen to me.

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. Goddamnit. I hate myself more than anyone else will ever love me. Maybe when I get very skinny and thin and small, people will start to love me and care about me. And then I can say, where the fuck were you when I was fat and gross?

I really hope everyone's having better days than I am. This subreddit is the only place I can turn to where even if people don't notice or give a damn about me, they won't give me shit for anything either.

---

[Intro] (Intro) Hello everyone :)
/u/eventual_princess
Created: Sun Apr 10 12:13:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e6uw8/intro_hello_everyone/
---
Hi! Long time lurker, I made a new account so I could finally start posting. I am restricting my way towards my UGW and the support here and on tumblr has been so helpful :) I also created a peach account! Thanks everyone :)

---

My mom brought me my favorite eggplant spread but it'll go bad in two days....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 10 11:48:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e6r35/my_mom_brought_me_my_favorite_eggplant_spread_but/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] Maybe this would work
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 10 11:31:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e6oek/maybe_this_would_work/
---
http://youtu.be/o-Zuhm_2NmQ

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Apr 10 10:02:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e6b6z/daily_food_diary_april_10_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 10, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Thinspo] Anyone else watching girls and find Allison Williams' new body good thinspo?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 10 09:58:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e6amn/anyone_else_watching_girls_and_find_allison/
---
Especially last episode (episode 6)

Her arms are so dainty.

I wish I were her.

---

[Other] I don't look my age
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 09:38:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e67us/i_dont_look_my_age/
---
I guess it's because of how I dress and I never use make up except eyeliner/mascara. But I'm 21 and get asked when I'm going to graduate high school. Everyone thinks my younger sister is my older sister. My sisters more of a girly do her eyebrows and socialize and bigger than me (not fat fat though). When I'm at bars in atl i see all these gorgeous blondes that wear perfume and dress up and I'm fucking wearing a wife beater anf leggings and something like a jacket to hide my tummy. I feel like insanely jealous but at the same time I'm like a lot smaller than all these ladies. That gives me satisfaction, even if I'm a binging lard tub. It's wierd. I just feel so so unqualified to be a grown woman haha.

---

[Other] MFW someone offers me food. [Any Supernatural fans here?]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 08:53:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e61z6/mfw_someone_offers_me_food_any_supernatural_fans/
---
http://a0.cdn.whatstrending.com/post_items/images/000/022/161/large_gif/Screaming_internally.gif

---

[Other] The mix of this song with this cartoon is pretty perfect, thought you guys would enjoy
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 118.0 | 20.65 | 107 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 08:51:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e61ry/the_mix_of_this_song_with_this_cartoon_is_pretty/
---
https://youtu.be/v-osU5MRCXM

---

[Discussion] Weird things you've done in public because of your ED?
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 08:42:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e60lf/weird_things_youve_done_in_public_because_of_your/
---
So yesterday I saw a sign at a dunkin donuts that 6 donuts were $4.50, obviously my brain jumps to binge mode. I went inside, ordered 3 glazed donuts and 3 chocolate glazed, the lady gave them to me after I paid, and then I instantly just threw them out. Like she handed me the box of donuts and I threw them away right in front of her, not even 2 seconds later. It was this crazy impulse that I had to get rid of the donuts before I got into my car or I would eat them all! I'm glad I threw them away but I probably should have waited a little bit or used an outdoor garbage can.

She probably thinks I'm insane but whatever.

---

[Goal] It's a definite now. I've tried everything. I am now a size 4 (US size 0) :D
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Apr 10 08:40:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e60dv/its_a_definite_now_ive_tried_everything_i_am_now/
---
Just bought some fairly expensive brand of jeans cheap on eBay in a size 6. All my other size 6 clothes were baggy and I thought it's because they were clothes from supermarkets and Primark but nope.

Got some decent brand jeans and the size 6 is hanging off my hips for their life. I am officially a size 4!

Still look and feel fat as fuck and finding affordable clothes is going to be trickier but fuck yeah milestone.

---

[Thinspo] I drew something because I was feeling bad about a big night drinking.
/u/Pilkers1 [165 | 141 | 23.49 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 05:50:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e5j7a/i_drew_something_because_i_was_feeling_bad_about/
---
https://imgur.com/gallery/McWAJ

---

[Help] Please give me something to do
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 10 05:21:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e5gvy/please_give_me_something_to_do/
---
[deleted]

---

[Rant/Rave] A whole week binge free!
/u/Flufferbutternutter [5'2" | 103 | 19.52 | -37 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 04:27:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e5cz0/a_whole_week_binge_free/
---
I know both the amount of time and the number will look pathetic to most of you, but I have no willpower.
I've made it a week at an average of 798 calories a day!!! My target was 800. Super excited because usually I go under (and can't breastfeed my toddler or be an active mom) or I binge and go way over. It was mostly healthy stuff too.
I'm going to visit my family for three days. How do I keep this up without them getting suspicious?

(Can't update my wieght yet because I have no scale)

---

[Goal] 5 day fast - who wants to join me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 10 03:28:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e58rt/5_day_fast_who_wants_to_join_me/
---
[deleted]

---

[Discussion] Isn't it fucking sad
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Apr 10 02:37:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e556e/isnt_it_fucking_sad/
---
That the only way I'd have the balls to kill myself is by just starving to death.

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[Rant/Rave] This weekend was a bust (per usual), but I'm so excited for this week!
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.9 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 02:23:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e548n/this_weekend_was_a_bust_per_usual_but_im_so/
---
Edit: OKAY THIS WEEKEND WASN'T A COMPLETE FAILURE BECAUSE I JUST RAN A SUB-30 MIN 6K (and sub-25 min 5k)!!! Eating all those treats has a silver lining!

----------------------

I went into this weekend with the best intentions, as I always do, but once again I failed, as I always do. But I have hope. This week is exam week and I'm SO FREAKING EXCITED!

How can this be, you may ask? Isn't exam week equivalent to the ninth circle of hell?

It is, but that's not the part I'm excited about.

Every morning I'll get up, have my breakfast, pack my (delicious, healthy) lunch, then isolate myself in the library or my office with unlimited coffee and no snacking options until well into the evening. That way, when I finally do get home, I'll only have enough energy to watch maybe an hour of netflix before falling asleep exhausted (and I WILL be getting a full night's sleep every night). Only small dinners (or nothing at all), and no time to snack/binge.

I WILL crush my final this Friday and I WILL be sub-58 when I do it. Then I will have earned by post-exam celebratory alcohol and shawarma.

---

[Discussion] Is anyone else my particular brand of ~nasty af~
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 10 02:01:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e52n0/is_anyone_else_my_particular_brand_of_nasty_af/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Mouth sores/ulcers?
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 113 lbs | 19.78 | -42 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 01:19:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e4zor/mouth_soresulcers/
---
I have a lot (4+) of little sores developing along my gums and inner cheeks. I don't purge, just restrict. Anyone else experienced this?

I work with children, so there's a small possibility I caught something from them, but I've never had this many sores before. Each day it gets worse and I'm worried it won't stop :/

---

[Discussion] Does anybody find that when they're isolated their ED is much worse?
/u/Strongpursuits [5'4"/SW: 150/Lw:96.6/Cw: 112.0/Gw: Gonegirl/]
Created: Sun Apr 10 00:58:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e4y4d/does_anybody_find_that_when_theyre_isolated_their/
---
I just broke up with my boyfriend/fiancé of nearly 5 years and I'm petrified - yet also excited - of going back to the neurotic, emaciated restriction. For me, being an extrovert, the torture of perceived isolation is enough to set me
On that downward spiral. Now, as an adult with a demanding job is so much harder to remain social.

Sorry for the rant - I'm just all over the place and over ate and am freaking out. I want to die and disappear yet feel numb all at once. I feel like I'll go back to being a walking ghost - only having affect when necessary and expected.

Kill me now. I'm all alone.

---

[Discussion] Why do models eat cotton bools dipped in juice?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Sun Apr 10 00:24:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e4vhi/why_do_models_eat_cotton_bools_dipped_in_juice/
---
I know its for them to stay skinny, but how did it start?

Does it even work?

---

[Tip] HealthyOut - an app that helps you decide where to eat based on your diet
/u/wispypixie [5'0 | too scared to look | NB]
Created: Sat Apr 9 21:41:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e4fpl/healthyout_an_app_that_helps_you_decide_where_to/
---
https://appsto.re/us/URRWH.i

---

[Tip] something I keep in mind. Might help you ladies/gents!:)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 9 20:53:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e4adu/something_i_keep_in_mind_might_help_you/
---
https://40.media.tumblr.com/9ec61bc77858993771b10179889c961a/tumblr_nrjzevU9tX1uvsw03o1_500.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] Shopping for jeans!
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Sat Apr 9 19:22:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3z88/shopping_for_jeans/
---
This might be triggering for some people, I'll be mentioning my pant sizes.

So, I went shopping today to cheer myself up. I haven't bought jeans in years....I wasn't even sure what sizes I'd fit into. I walked into Macy's and their size 0's fit me so perfectly. Although, I picked the same size that was on the mannequin but when I put it on I still looked big. Of course, it's me. I'd look fat in anything. Either way, I wasn't going to pay 65 bucks for some jeans, I'm not made of money! So, I went to Aeropostale, but their size 0's fit me tight, not too tight, but tight enough to be uncomfortable. Their size 2's fit like the size 0's at Macy's. I also bought a size 2 pair of shorts. I have mixed feelings.

---

[Help] I ate dinner and can't enjoy my evening now. HELP
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 18:49:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3v56/i_ate_dinner_and_cant_enjoy_my_evening_now_help/
---
I went out with friends for both brunch and dinner today. This is my last hangout with these people before moving across the country so I was strict on restriction all week in preparation to let loose and have a good time today.

At brunch I was amazing, ate less than half of my food and chose low-cal things. Came in at about 300 which is good for eating out.

Dinner I ate four pieces of the complimentary bread and oil, ordered Alfredo and ate ALL of it. I'm fucking killing myself. I planned for this. I wanted to enjoy this, and I can't. I'm stressed. I feel huge. Lowest weight since college and I feel bigger than I felt at 30 lbs heavier.

Help me still have fun tonight? This night is so important.

---

[Intro] A really, really late intro.
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Sat Apr 9 18:49:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3v4v/a_really_really_late_intro/
---
So I've been pretty active here lately, but I never really introduced myself. I just showed myself in and started participating.

So; me. I was a fat kid in an extremely extremely abusive household. I was beaten badly occasionally, but for the most part I was either completely ignored or used as a dumping ground for my parents negative emotions. I didn't realize until I was an adult that the things I would get screamed at for were either not my fault at all or totally normal, natural, childish fuck-ups that parents should guide you through and teach you how to deal with. Nobody taught me shit -- it was trial by fire. It was like being tested on material I was never taught for my entire life, and there were no rewards. No A's. Just emotional and physical abuse when I didn't pass. Not to make excuses for them, because I fucking hate them, but my parents came from households that were MUCH worse than mine.
Nobody took care of me. I fed myself whatever I could reach from the time I could walk and talk. I would eat cereal or sandwiches when I was really little, or more often just cold shit from the ice box. Once I got to age 4 or 5 I started using the microwave and the stove around age 7. I knew if you didn't cook meat enough it would make you sick and I was very afraid of that, so I cooked things like pasta and cakes. ALL sugary, carby, stuff.
I did my own laundry starting at age 8 because kids made fun of me for being dirty and smelling. Nobody made me do ANYTHING. Even to this day I have to make a big effort to brush my teeth every day because it is not a natural habit. I remember going to school wearing the same outfit 3 days in a row in K, wearing overalls that smelled like cat piss in grade 5 (I couldn't smell it bc our whole house smelled) and my 1st grade teacher telling me I needed to wash my hair when I hadn't done it in four days.

As a teenager, I discovered sports. I was getting POSITIVE attention. I appeared to be very smart out of sheer necessity. I could not rely on ANYONE. People constantly told me "I had an old soul." It helped that I read CONSTANTLY as a form of escapism. I never hoped for a Hogwarts letter because even at age 10 I knew there was nothing magical, nothing special out there for me. Life was just shit and the world was cruel. I still cried on my 11th birthday because I knew there was no escape for me. I remember at age EIGHT telling myself, "only 10 more years until you turn 18." At age EIGHT. How FUCKED is that?

In high school I became an athlete on accident. I had so much anger and at the first opportunity to get it out I did so. I was getting positive attention from adults, and not only that, every hour I was training was an hour I didn't have to be at home. Even though I was fat, I was smart and I listened and I tried my damn hardest. Coaches fucking love that. If you have a fat kid who tries and listens, you can make them an athlete. If you have a fit kid who won't try and won't listen... good luck. It wasn't long before the weight started coming off from exercise alone.

I started messing around with restricting to lose weight. I knew my sport would be easier and I would get better if I didn't have so much extra weight.

My primary goal was, and has always been, *long term* results. I have never (thank god, knock on wood) had any problems with things like laxatives, purging, not being able to eat enough, etc. I wanted to stay strong for my sport. I'm very scientifically minded, and I am quite sure that part of the reason for this is that my parents were fucking gas-lighters. I like proof, I like evidence, I like winning in the long run. This has helped me stay pretty healthy and not get in "too deep." I am very goal-oriented and my goals do not include health problems.

In my last year of high school my parents died. The ONLY thing my parents had was money. That was the only thing I could count on them for.

The lawyers are STILL fighting over that money. I haven't seen a red cent. I have been told for years that there would be money coming my way, but I'm not counting on it. If it happens, it happens.

I was a teenager on and my own. Worse, I was old enough that I was an "adult", even though I was not at all prepared to adult. I told myself that no matter WHAT, I had to graduate college (with good grades. That part wasn't spoken, because I never CONSIDERED the alternative.) I told myself that NOTHING else mattered, ALL that mattered was graduating college.

I did graduate college with honors, but it took me the better part of a decade. I gained 60 lbs while doing it. I had a drug addiction for a while too. I couldn't hold down a job (still can't) and was suicidal. But I fucking did it you guys. I fucking graduated college. NOBODY can take that from me. No matter WHAT. I will never be homeless. I have an EDUCATION.

Once I had climbed that mountain, I turned back to myself. My guy and I have been together FOREVER, since a few mos after my parents died. He proposed to me over a year ago (we are the slowest ever, I know people who have met, married, had kids, and divorced in the time we've been "dating". Heh. IDC. He's the one for me, and we'll do it when it's convenient, which is not right now.)

I had been sitting on my ass for a couple years after I graduated college. My life had been so fucking hard up until that point and I just needed a goddamned break. I have said before, and I still believe, that birth-18 was me surviving and 18-now is me learning how to person. There's still so many things that I don't know or that are really hard for me because they weren't modeled for me as a child. But I am getting better. I see huge improvements every year. I'm proud of how far I've come, but I'm ashamed that I must work so hard to still be "behind" where I "should" be.

So after I did not shit for a couple years, I turned to myself. I've lost over 60 lbs and I'm now a "healthy" weight, but I still want to lose another 35 or so. I'm not worried about it because I know I will do it, but I wish I was just done with it. At the same time, I remember how fucking fat and disgusting I felt to weigh over 200 lbs and how I felt like I would NEVER be able to undo what I had done to myself. But I took it one day at a time and I did it. And that's what I'll do to get to my goal, too.

Maybe I'm just wearing rose colored glasses, but I fully believe that when it comes to maintaining that I won't have a problem eating normally. To me, feelings are information I can choose to react to or not. I can understand that my body is hungry or that my body doesn't want to eat, but that is simply information. I am hungry all the time, but eating will not move me closer to my goals, so I choose not to do it. Similarly, there have been times where eating has been the "logical" choice even though I didn't want to do it (ie, seeing spots.) But I did it anyway. That's just who I am most of the time... 90% of the time... The other 10% of the time I can be an emotional wreck, over-sensitive, overly critical, but fortunately that very rarely takes its form in food related behaviors. Of course I've binged occasionally, but it's not something I really struggle with. My issues manifest more as, like, temper tantrums and failing at leaving the house or holding down a job. My emotional fragility will be my next mountain once I reach my goal weight.

So that's who I am. Thank you for reading.

---

[Other] I'm just going to pretend these past 4 weeks of fucking up was just a long unavoidable celebration.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 18:47:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3uzt/im_just_going_to_pretend_these_past_4_weeks_of/
---
Tommorrow is a new day. All the binges will be erased. All of that was one huge party I had to attend. One huge wedding. Something. I'm in control. I know i am. I have been before.

---

[Help] I'm slipping and I can't climb back up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 9 17:46:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3n1o/im_slipping_and_i_cant_climb_back_up/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend is a loud snacker and it's killing me
/u/aielleia
Created: Sat Apr 9 17:38:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3m2n/my_boyfriend_is_a_loud_snacker_and_its_killing_me/
---
First off, hey guys, I found this sub pretty recently and I am so relieved & happy to have found a place like this -- I was sure it had to exist!

Now, the problem -- my boyfriend, who I live with, is a snacker. He likes crunchy, loud snacks. We both work from home, usually in the same room, and I can hear him alllllllll day crunching away at his delicious looking crap/junk food. I want to kill him. It's making squashing my cravings almost unbearable, and it makes me act irritably with him, which upsets him because he doesn't know why. I can't say anything about it because he doesn't know I'm not eating.

Help... how do I stop thinking about it.


(ps -- ahh! almost posted this from my main account, which he follows. Brain fart)

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Boyfriend is a loud snacker and it's killing me!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 9 17:26:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3khd/boyfriend_is_a_loud_snacker_and_its_killing_me/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] GUYS!! I DID IT! MY FIRST EC STACK! I AM SO EXCITED I COULD SING.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 9 17:13:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3ish/guys_i_did_it_my_first_ec_stack_i_am_so_excited_i/
---
[I DID IT!](http://imgur.com/05CQdkb)

Can someone give me some advice on dosage/frequency please? It's about 4pm here.

I've done very well today after I lost it, again, last night, like a fat failure. I'm determined. I have to go out to dinner (stupid friend is visiting my husband) but didn't overeat at all on lunch, skipped breakfast. Tomorrow I will be alone most of the day, and will just have to eat dinner with them! Then back to Monday, I love the freedom of being at work.

So. WHERE AND WHEN DO I START???

PS --> thank you everyone for making this a safe welcoming place where I feel surrounded and loved even though I'm a new stranger. Thanks in advance!

---

[Discussion] What do you put on your greens?
/u/Highlyunattractive
Created: Sat Apr 9 17:07:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3hyq/what_do_you_put_on_your_greens/
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Looking for 0 to low calorie dressings, I usually stick to lemon and apple cider vinegar but that's getting boring. As of recently I'm doing keto diet so preferably suggestions without sugar.

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[Tip] Coconut water diluted with water might be perfect
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Sat Apr 9 16:41:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3ej0/coconut_water_diluted_with_water_might_be_perfect/
---
Just poured a phat vat of it in a nalgene water bottle as the 100 cal. is pretty close to a meal ! And it's good yeayeah.
Also I dig diluted cranberry juice.. but concentrated juice is actually rather really gross lol

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[Thinspo] Does anyone know who this is???
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Sat Apr 9 16:20:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e3bo7/does_anyone_know_who_this_is/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/7Rk8c

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[Help] Biking Outdoors
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 14:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e2ziq/biking_outdoors/
---
Today, I decided to not bike, again. It's still been so cold here. Today it's in the 40's F with 25 mph winds, gusts up to 35. My route is 20 miles long, 10 miles have no wind protection and move against/crosswind, half a mile is down hill coasting and the rest is at a constant slight incline. I've only had 400 Cal today so far so I can easily work that off indoors.

Anyways, this all has me wondering, does anyone have a somewhat accurate way of calculating calories burned while biking? Every time I look, I just find seemingly a bunch of random numbers thrown out with no real explanation.

---

[Thinspo] Crop top
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Sat Apr 9 14:53:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e2zau/crop_top/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Nrn8m84.jpg

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[Discussion] Tattooed lovelies...
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 13:56:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e2qxi/tattooed_lovelies/
---
I badly want a tattoo now that I'm married. (I promised my family I wouldn't get any until after I was married. They don't approve of them and it's what kept peace in my fam.) For those of you who have tattoos, have you noticed any distortion with weight loss/gain?

I'd like to get it on my arm near my wrist but eventually I'd like a full sleeve. Unfortunately, I carry weight on my upper arms and plan to start a family soon so I know there will be weight gain in my future. Im also VERY anxious about showing my arms since they are so fucking fat imo. I'm hoping by putting something beautiful on them I will love them and want to show them off. Hopefully that's not too weird.

Edit: thank you to everyone who's commented so far. You've all brought up some awesome points to consider. I appreciate all the help!

---

[Goal] NSV: I can regularly do 3-5 day fasts again!
/u/tusmoerkestraaler [5'3" | 105 | 18.6 | -48 | M]
Created: Sat Apr 9 13:05:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e2jiq/nsv_i_can_regularly_do_35_day_fasts_again/
---
Since the start of this year, I've been able to stick to most of the 3-5 day fasts I've set myself (mostly liquid but I had three water fasts too). I haven't been able to do more than *one* fast over five days, as I usually give up due to either sudden binge urges, or getting paranoid from the symptoms I usually get from fasting (or getting paranoid that I'm "sleep eating", or similar). Strangely, I struggle with 24- or 48-hour fasts too, but I think it's because a part of me doesn't feel they're worth it. :/

Anyway, because I'm getting back into the habit of fasting regularly, I've been "practicing" an eating plan a little that I think I'm going to try and stick to for a while. It's a sort of Intermittent Fasting, where I (fast (liquid or water) for 90 hours (or 3 days, 18 hours) and then eat for 6 hours. I've done the maths, and even if I replicated my biggest binge *ever* in those six hours I'd still lose weight overall. Plus, this amount of time fasting is pretty much my optimal, where I feel the best physically and mentally. This also means that every few days I can flaunt having a meal in front of my mother, to keep her happy, and not even feel too guilty.

I'm hoping that having an allotted time to eat will help control my binging a bit - a few years ago I would restrict for long amounts of time without binging, partially because I had routines for eating. Hopefully I can get that back.

So, all in all I'm pretty happy because I've learned how to fast again, and I'm hoping to start a relatively consistent eating plan. :) -- Has anyone else tried a sort of IF? How did you like it, if you did?

---

[Discussion] Miracle berries?
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 12:15:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e2c0a/miracle_berries/
---
I ordered miracle berries last night from Amazon. You put the tablet in your mouth and they supposedly make sour things taste sweet. I saw it last night on Outrageous Act of Science, and it seems to really work. Now if I get a sweet tooth, I can take one of these tablets and drink some 0-calorie lemon juice. Anybody else try this?

http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/ab3f/

---

[Discussion] Starting RT4
/u/lilaclia [5'4" | 113.2 | 19.4 | -9.8 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 10:23:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e1vi3/starting_rt4/
---
I'm starting raw till 4 with not quite as many calories, at least at first. This is my attempt at some form of recovery.

I've done it before for 6 months, gone fully raw for 3 months, done banana islands, yada yada. It's all been good experiences and kept me at a really slim natural weight. Smaller than the size I am now, in fact. But I didn't get there by starving. I got there by eating more food (carbs even) than I could imagine. I felt so amazing.

I just really feel like something needs to change but I don't want to gain any weight...


Here's my plan:

Breakfast - 6 banana smoothie + 8 oz of OJ = 760 cals

Lunch - 6 banana smoothie + 8 oz of OJ = 760 cals

Dinner - 500 cals of starches or complex carbs (potatoes, corn pasta, or rice), veggies, and leafy greens.

Total Goal: 2000 cals


Starches and complex carbs are chosen for dinner because excess of these types of carbs are broken down as glycogen and stored in the muscles and body cells as opposed to simple carbs that are broken down into triglycerides and stored in adipose tissue.

Nervous about eating so much, but here goes nothing. My husband is excited for me and taking me grocery shopping when he gets back from the library :)

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[Other] The truth behind calorie labels - [5.49]
/u/mirandaxo [5'6" | CW 55 kgs | GW 40kgs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 10:18:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e1uqn/the_truth_behind_calorie_labels_549/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE2lna5Wxuo

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Apr 9 10:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e1s7k/daily_food_diary_april_09_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 09, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Help] Please help me pick my dinner!!
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 113.8lbs | 17.05 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 09:41:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e1pea/please_help_me_pick_my_dinner/
---
I am going to Giraffe, a 'world' food chain for a friend's birthday tonight and I have searched high and low but they don't have their calories listed anywhere! Please please please can you guys help me work out the lowest cal option?

Here is the menu: http://www.giraffe.net/locations/oxford/main-menu

I'm thinking the Miso & Lime Grilled Salmon or Marrakech Market Salad? Any thoughts??

I really appreciate anyone taking the time to look at the menu and help me out!

---

[Goal] goal
/u/wispypixie [5'0 | too scared to look | NB]
Created: Sat Apr 9 08:13:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e1dwd/goal/
---
This isn't exactly a specific goal because I have such a long way to go but.. Anyway.. When I get down to 170~ (my weight before I gained all the weight I have now) and get rid this stupid double chin I've acquired (the thing I hate most about myself) I've decided I'm going to cut my hair off!! I'm going to get a pixie cut. I've wanted short hair for a long time because I feel like it would help with my gender expression (androgynous/genderless) but I have always thought my face is too fat for it. Others who are not thin and have pixie cuts don't look bad to me, it's just ME that I think would look awful with it because of my double chin. I'm just ready for the fat on my face to go away and I will reward myself when that happens!! ☺️

---

[Discussion] I guess I am unofficially back to my ED...or I never managed to leave it completely.
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | 104.7 | 18.69 | -37.3 | Female]
Created: Sat Apr 9 06:52:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e14za/i_guess_i_am_unofficially_back_to_my_edor_i_never/
---
So, some of you already know that I am Ellae, and I tried to make a grand exit out of /r/proED and work my way into focusing on eating more calories and most importantly m, healthy calories. Well, I couldn't maintain eating healthy 24/7 and started to binge junk food on the weekends.

More recently, like within the last month, I decided I was tired of never losing weight or maintaining consistently and I decided I wanted to try to reach one of my UGW of 99 lbs. again. I decided to cut out ALL junk food once more and see if I could at least make progress this time before the summer.

I have lost 4-5 lbs again. I found a diet meal plan that maximizes nutrition but I can keep calories around 700-800 a day. The last two days I didn't even want to eat so I ended up at 400-500.

I exercise a lot still but I will have to eat more to have the energy to continue to exercise...I just don't want to eat much right now...

I am obsessing over calories as usual (I couldn't ever break that habit, even on binge days.) but I feel even stronger into my ED than ever right now.

Anyways...I'm back? I may or may not post in the Daily Food Diary again; I got obsessed with it before but now I am comfortable logging privately again. Not sure on that one.

Nice to be in the community as always.

---

[Rant/Rave] Getting Back on Track
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 121.2 lbs | 24.93 | -20.8 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 06:48:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e14l6/getting_back_on_track/
---
I finally updated my flair.

A whopping 121.2 pounds.

I made some new friends in university, and they're all thin but they eat at maintenance so they kept commenting on what I ate. My obese roommate herd me vomit too and kept making jokes about how I'm bulimic (I actually just wasn't feeling well). Exams have started and I lost my focus on weightloss (last set I stress avoided eating and lost weight but now this group of friends insists we go to the dining hall).

I'm heading home tonight so that starting tomorrow, when my mother leaves the country, I'll be getting back on the weightloss track.

This week of eating normally has made me slightly more comfortable with food so I'm extending my goal. I have until August 15th to hit 98 lbs (700 cals a day!). And I'm determined to do this. Though since summer usually means parties, I'll still try to get in at least one 24 hour fast a week so that it's even easier to control calorie consumption.

I don't know what this post is. I just needed somewhere to talk about this! Feel free to add me on MFP: fatimamfpmfp or on kik: hipchesterwinchester

---

[Other] After the visit to the ER yesterday....
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 04:39:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e0tra/after_the_visit_to_the_er_yesterday/
---
I've been really thinking about what I want.

Yesterday my potassium levels were so low I had to go to the ER and get it intravenously, I spent about 8 hours there but they let me go home for the night. But there are some changes in my EKG, and that's quite scary. Binging and purging is once again affecting my heart.

My doctor was quite worried. She suggested I'd really consider inpatient treatment as I'm starting to have so much physical symptoms. I'm meeting her on Wednesday and we'll think about what we will do now.

I'm definitely not ready to go to inpatient treatment, but I understand something has to change. I can't keep binging and purging daily, several times a day.

I'm thinking about maintaining. I almost like the way I look right now - I would like to be skinnier of course, but I think I could settle for this. If I started to eat about 1000 kcals(or more) daily, maybe I wouldn't b/p so much. It feels scary, but I think it has to be done. If I keep doing this, they can put me in inpatient treatment against my will. Not yet, though, I should lose more weight for that to happen, but it's a possibility. But if I stay at this weight and start binging and purging less, I can keep on eating my safe foods and exercising as much as I like. And maybe I could finally grow some muscle - my butt is really flat and I'd like to see it getting some shape. And maybe I'd feel better too - I'm really tired and weak all the time, I don't have that much energy to do anything really.

Thank you all for your support yesterday, you were the only people I could tell about this.

---

[Help] How do I make myself happy about gaining weight?
/u/YouMayRememberMe [5'5 | 104 lbs | 16.74 | 18F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 02:59:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e0mfk/how_do_i_make_myself_happy_about_gaining_weight/
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Hey all, I'm usually pretty inactive because I don't really Reddit that much. I've been underweight my whole life, and within the past few years almost dangerously so. After some serious effort, I've finally started to gain a little weight. I don't scale myself anymore, because every time I see it go up it damages my progress. I think I've put on enough weight to almost reach a BMI 18, maybe a 17.5.

I know this is the healthiest I've ever been but I feel seriously uncomfortable in my body right now. I'm still thinner than almost all of my friends but I feel massive. I *want* to be healthy, I think, so how do I convince myself it's okay?

---

[Intro] Intro
/u/onlyActing [5'10" | Whale Songs | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 02:35:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e0krk/intro/
---
Sorry if I don't have flair; I'm on my cell phone. I've been lurking here a bit and this looks like the place I'd like to be at.

I'm in a struggle with myself right now because I am facing a relapse. About five years ago, I had a little problem with my weight that went full out ED in a couple of months. For a little background: my girlfriend was big, I was big, she was abusive, she cheated on me, she dumped me, I came out as trans, my family dumped me.

I started eating less and less as more things went awry. It started with skipping meals in favor of reading a book, "I eat words and thoughts," I joked when my friends started noticing. Eventually I only ate when others were present and eating. Then I learned to push my food around and not eat. People started dropping me so I didn't have to eat around anyone. I still had to eat something so I didn't pass out at work so I ritually ate the same small thing everyday before and at work. I lost 60-70 lbs in less then a year. I picked up drinking and became as one therapist put it an "anorexoholic". I justified everything of course, "I'm too big to have an eating disorder, etc." I started pushing myself in exercise and gained the wonderful blissful stand up, pass out experience.

Eventually I was put into a security wing at a hospital for a "suicide attempt" (bad day+trans+midwest). I was treated soo wonderfully. Unfortunately, having a therapist meant the hospital could find out my diagnoses: gender identity disorder, bipolar II, ednos. I had to eat as one of the stipulations of getting out, as well as have a strategy for eating well, and seeing a therapist. It started my "recovery". Mostly I did well. Took about 8 months to get me about 4 months of normality.

Recently, my life has fallen apart again. Lost my job, lost my friends, lost my apartment... Gained a girlfriend, but then relocated to an area that I don't know anybody and don't enjoy. This has me at this fork in the road: give in to obesity or give into ED.

My girlfriend met me just as I was starting recovery so she knows my past and catches me quickly if I show any signs of relapse and she doesn't tolerate any of it. After some long explaining, lying, and convincing, I have finally been allowed to wear the bright red ribbon of my ideal waist size on my wrist. Other than that she has gotten rid of the scale, and the hidden scales she found, she asks about my meals I ate, sits down and eats at least one meal with me, and other such stuff that is really good for sticking with recovery, but I just feel it calling me again.

Anyways, I hope I feel welcomed to post in the future about all these goings on.

---

[Rant/Rave] Overate, almost gave up. Frustrated.
/u/Backtothedailygrind [5'6.0' | 163.6 | 26.51 | -56.2 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 9 00:40:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e0c84/overate_almost_gave_up_frustrated/
---
I have an extremely lofty goal of getting to 154 this month - I started April at 168 so I need a daily deficit of 1633. Today I was weak (physically and mentally apparently) so I had a clif builder's bar and coconut water for lunch. I thought with an extra walk my day would still be salvageable, but it was not. I ended up with only a 1330 deficit. I got so frustrated I almost went back to the kitchen for another meal or large snack and just cut my goal back to the less intense 160.

On one hand, I'm happy i resisted the urge to give up on my goal. On the other... I'm only a week into April. Do I even stand a chance of following through if I almost gave up this early?

Ugh, and now I owe 300 calories, and I can't get away with less than 800 calories Sunday, probably not less than 1100 Saturday so I'll probably owe even more by the end of the weekend. I owed 850 after last weekend and JUST made up for it yesterday, and I'm already in the negatives.

This was pretty aimless, just needed to share with someone/anyone who might understand.

Also I had 4 pretzels and 2 squares of chocolate. If I had resisted I'd only owe 200. Neither was even kind of worth it. At least the clif bar and coconut water helped me feel less beat from my 10 miles total of running this week.

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[Rant/Rave] After 5 days of less than 500 calories, I ate so much...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 22:52:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4e02kq/after_5_days_of_less_than_500_calories_i_ate_so/
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I feel like a fat fucker. Like a big round tick. Fuck this fucking feeling.

I probably had three fucking thousand calories and fucking just... ugh I want to throw up and curl in a ball and rot. I hate this. I hate being full. I hate feeling like my stomach is expanding and I'm just going to explode and I hate it. I can feel the fat and calories and carbs all working its way into my cells and making me fatter. I want it to fucking go away. I want to feel empty again...

---

[Discussion] Comorbidity with mental illness
/u/fiddlyduck [5'0 | 95 | 19.54 | -30.5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 22:00:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dzxdc/comorbidity_with_mental_illness/
---
How many of you have anxiety, or depression, or another mental illness? How do you cope?

Lately I've been in a sort of a rut, where I don't feel good about myself, about my weight (even if I lose weight, I know that I'm not heading down a good path), about school, about my friends. It's gotten to the point where I intentionally shut people out.

Nothing feels satisfying to me anymore. The same things that used to make me happy are now barely a blip on my radar. And I know I should talk to someone about it. Open up. But I just feel like I'll be a burden. Even worse is how I feel like my emotions aren't even real, that I'm just looking for attention.

I'm a psych student. I know the symptoms of depression when I see them. It's hard for me to accept that I'm suffering from it though, because there could be so many different explanations. (Seasonal affective disorder is pretty common, especially since I haven't been getting much sun lately.)

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I don't really feel comfortable anywhere else.

Edit: I got more responses than I thought I would. Thanks for all the wonderful discussion, guys. I can't reply to anyone as I'm studying for exams, but I have read everyone's responses :)

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[Rant/Rave] One of my ex girlfriends, who also has an eating disorder, asked me to be her friends with benefits.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 21:55:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dzwvt/one_of_my_ex_girlfriends_who_also_has_an_eating/
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We met in eating disorder recovery group a few years ago.

I use the term "ex girlfriend" loosely. We were never official but we dated for 3 or so weeks and she broke my heart. We never had sex but we did *stuff* (she had been sexually assaulted in the past so it was hard for her to go "all the way"). Things were going great but suddenly she decided she wasn't ready to date me. Those 3 weeks we dated were the best 3 weeks of my life.

Right now I'm at the weight I was at when we dated. She was (and obviously still is) attracted to me, but part of me feels like I need to be skinnier before I can sleep with her. Which is stupid because I know she likes my body how it is. In fact my body is better now since I'm more muscular, athletic and fit. But I still feel disgusting and unworthy of sex.

Anyways, this whole thing is so surreal. I know getting into a friends with benefits type relationship will be a bad idea, considering she broke my heart and we both have eating disorders. But as far as we're both concerned, we are both recovered. When we dated we had no problems going to lunches and dinners together and we were comfortable eating with each other. Sometimes she would comment on how little I ate, but I'm like half a foot shorter than her and I never intentionally under-ate around her.

I just wanted to get that out there. It's so damn weird. We broke up over a year and a half ago and I never imagined she'd ever want something like this. She always prided herself on being interested in serious relationships only and was super against casual dating, hook ups and stuff like that. I mean I guess it's different since we know each other and we would be spending time together as friends as well, but still...

---

[Discussion] Weird ED behavior: baby food
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 21:46:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dzvyw/weird_ed_behavior_baby_food/
---
Ever since I was a teenager I've been drawn to baby food as a safe ED food. Probably something to do with the tiny portion sizes (3.5 oz -5 oz),the range of 30-80 cals a serving, and the purity of the ingredient mix.

Now that I have babyman I find it SO HARD to not eat all his purees and snacks. If I could, I'd probably subsist on baby food (even the savory purees), but that's weird to other adults and frankly expensive.

They taste so good though! Especially of the off the wall combinations like guava, black bean, sweet potato, and oats. Or blueberries, geek yogurt, chia seeds, and spinach.

Plus the baby snacks are like low cal, more nutritious versions of 'real' snacks. Veggie Cheese puffs (30 cal for 16), choke-free cheerios (25 cal for 1/4 cup), and dehydrated yogurt bits (kind of like astronauts ice cream, 30 cal for 1/4 cup).
I sometimes buy extra of this stuff just so I can snack on it at work.

Does anyone else eat baby food/snacks? Or an I just some weirdo?

---

[Other] PSA: Please use caution when posting pictures
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 118.0 | 20.65 | 107 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 19:33:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dzg2g/psa_please_use_caution_when_posting_pictures/
---
It's an unfortunate reality that not everyone that comes to this sub has the purist of intentions. There are some people out there who do fetishise our disorders, and because of that, I'd like to urge you all to be cautious when posting pictures of yourself.

I'd like to take a moment to quote from our weekly selfie thread:

> Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.

We strive to keep these boards a safe place, but sadly, there is only so much that we, as mods, can do. So please be safe, report it right away if anyone makes you feel unsafe and harrassed, and, as always, continue being lovely.

---

[Help] Why does my friend (who used to be anorexic) think I'm anorexic?
/u/we-made-this
Created: Fri Apr 8 19:08:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dzcw7/why_does_my_friend_who_used_to_be_anorexic_think/
---
I lost about 10 pounds in the last two years. I started jogging a little and went from being slightly overweight to being an average weight.

My friend, who had an eating disorder for a couple years, keeps telling me she's concerned I'm not eating enough and that I'm too skinny, etc, etc. She hints that I have an eating disorder.

The thing is, I don't. My weight is straight-up average (according to statistics and everyone else I know) for my height, which I'm quite happy with. I eat three square meals a day, plus snacks. But she won't believe me when I tell her that.

Her constant "concern" makes me uncomfortable, like I need to defend myself against something I didn't do, and she never believes I'm telling her the truth. I know she's trying to be a caring friend, but it really doesn't make sense here, and I suspect this has more to do with her past than me.

What's going on? Is there any way I can get her to stop? She's pretty relentless about it.

---

[Discussion] Are you using the app Peach?
/u/OrchidandthePearl [5'7 | 106 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 18:58:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dzbmz/are_you_using_the_app_peach/
---
Is anyone from here using the app Peach? It's very cute, sort of like twitter, fb, et cetera. There's a pretty big MPA community there that is very loving and supportive! I wanted to know if users from here were connected as well! I'm @orchidandpearl

---

[Intro] Intro, Hello all!
/u/WalrusWasteland [5'3 | 150 | 26.6 | -70 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 18:46:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dza6n/intro_hello_all/
---
Hey there everyone! I've actually been following this sub for a year now! I saw some chat a month ago about league of legends, and I've been wanting more friends there that my boyfriend won't get jealous about me talking to. I'd also love to be able to play with another lady friend, I thought that would be fun. Anyhow. About me..

I'm 21, recently divorced, and living in Oregon. I'm also half black, major anxiety sufferer, and I have no idea how my body type translates with my weight.. Things got shitty for me because my ex husband ate constantly and I was miserable, so I ate along with him.. I gained so much weight during our 4 year relationship, around the beginning of July last year I'd hit about 221 lbs and I hated the way I looked- it felt horrible, feeling my skin rub together because fat rolls was disgusting. Getting so sweaty was disgusting and I felt like a nasty blob of grossness.

I've always had disordered eating habits since puberty, I have a fraternal twin sister, who's always been taller and thinner than me, getting compared to her weight constantly growing up was awful... It was a constant nagging, why couldn't I do the things she could do..?

Nowadays I mainly struggle with binging, I purged for the first time in highschool, and I've been restricting for years.. I can't remember the last time I ate and didn't worry about it. Presently I restrict to 800 cal/day, I don't really exercise, and it's gotten to the point where my purging just relieves anxiety if I start to worry about exceeding my calorie goals. It's a few times a week kinda thing.


Currently I'm dating a guy who's the same age as me with a 17.6 BMI, he eats next to nothing because he doesn't enjoy food, and he's been motivating the crap out of me every day. Its so much easier to eat less when the person you spend all of your time with doesn't hardly ever eat. So here I am now, having looked to you ladies for the past year or so, 70 lbs down, and I'm hoping to get to 130 lbs, then to 109, and if all of my dreams come true I'd like to be about 100 lbs.

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[Rant/Rave] A letter I wrote to my future self for the next time I want to binge
/u/itakethebus
Created: Fri Apr 8 18:24:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dz7jy/a_letter_i_wrote_to_my_future_self_for_the_next/
---
*This is my first post on /r/proED. Just had an awful binge when I had planned on fasting today. My arms are shaking and I feel dizzy (probably from all the sugar) but I managed to write this a few minutes ago. I'm going to save this letter on my desktop and read it every time I have the urge to binge. Thought I would share it with you guys.*

 

To read before a binge:

 

The excuses always boil down to:

- I need this food
- Nothing else can satisfy me
- The food I’m imagining will taste so good
- One binge won’t be a big deal
- I can fast tomorrow
- I can’t think about anything else but food

 

How I feel right now after a binge:

- I’m not satisfied, at all
- The food did not taste as good as I imagined it to be
- I’m going to be so disappointed in the scale tomorrow
- I’m so dehydrated and bloated
- It was not worth it
- It was not worth it
- It was not worth it
- It was not worth it
- It was not worth it
- It was not worth it

 

You’ve been doing this for the past 6+ years. Stop. Please.

 

Love,

Me

---

[Help] Drinking on an empty stomach?
/u/Pumpkabooo [5'5" | 106.5 | 17.72 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 18:05:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dz4xm/drinking_on_an_empty_stomach/
---
I'm going to a wine tasting party tomorrow so I know I'll be drinking a ton of calories. But I want to go to the party and I like wine, so I'm trying to cut back my calories elsewhere. I've done a nice job restricting today, and I'd like to consume little to no calories tomorrow except what I have at this tasting. But is that doable? I don't want to get super hammered because I have to drive home after and I don't want to get sick either. Is there anything I should eat beforehand that is low cal that would help with "soaking up" all that booze? Is it okay to just go for it on an empty stomach or do you have any suggestions?
Thanks!!

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How to curve cravings?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 17:13:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dyxs1/how_to_curve_cravings/
---
I really want potato chips (sour cream and onion). How do I curve craving for junk food ?

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[Help] Why does MFP want me to eat a lot of sugar?
/u/wispypixie [5'0 | too scared to look | NB]
Created: Fri Apr 8 16:56:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dyvhp/why_does_mfp_want_me_to_eat_a_lot_of_sugar/
---
Sorry if this has been asked before, but MFP is recommending 67g of sugar per day???? I want to stay at 25g please!! This is so weird?

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[Help] I was doing so good
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 16:54:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dyv5o/i_was_doing_so_good/
---
And then I binged 2600 plus. 4 slices of pizza 2 white Russians breakfast and lunch. Fuck my life. I could only purge maybe one slice. I'm sad. I wish I had ipecac. I already have a hemorrhage in my right eye. I have to get rid of more somehow. I purged more and then drank castor oil. I feel like puking just because of the taste. Maybe I should. Fuck my head hurts.

---

[Intro] (Intro) Hi. I've been lurking for a week now. I cant keep this in anymore. Thanks for being a safe place.
/u/MissMagus
Created: Fri Apr 8 16:24:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dyqw6/intro_hi_ive_been_lurking_for_a_week_now_i_cant/
---
I found this sub while looking up ED under the basic reddit search bar. I was surprised to see this sub existed. Im about to explode with all this pent up emotion....so, im gonna just let it all go.

I've always been insecure. I've always hated the way I looked. I used to play around with restricting in my teens, but I never really went all out till a few years ago though. I was 22 and at my highest weight (170) and I felt like garbage. I contribute most of that weight to booze and pasta....I was a poor alcoholic stoner who spent most of the little cash I had on weed and booze....whatever money I had leftover usually went to budget food like ramen noodles. Its obvious why i was overweight.

I decided I NEEDED to change. I cut the booze, cut the carbs, and slowly started losing weight by living off of tuna, romaine lettuce, and super low cal salads that I'd put together at work. Eventually....I just stopped eating. I'd go 2 or more days with nothing more than 0 cal energy drinks and water. I did this a lot. When I did eat, it would be about 100-200 cals worth of food at work just to keep myself from passing out on the make line. I worked at a pizza place....watching my fat coworkers inhale pizza was my motivation. Greasy, carbed up, nasty, fatty pizza. Watching them gobble a whole large 'za during break while i sipped on my energy drink gave me such a sense of accomplishment.

I got down to about 114 lbs in what felt like record time. My former size 11 self, was in a SIZE 2. I felt unbelievable. I was cute, i wore form fitting sweaters, and tiny shorts...I had a thigh gap...my face was slim and i looked HAPPY when i saw my reflection.

HOWEVER. With my new found confidence, I began going out a lot more. I was turning into a full fledged party girl. I picked up drinking again, which only led to terrible food decisions cause I was usually shitfaced on campus with a bunch of rave kids. We always went for steak n shake or something like that after a long night of partying. I did that shit a couple nights a week. Ballooned up to about 125-ish.

Fast-forward to now. Im 150. I hate myself. I drank myself up to the weight I'm at. I dropped the booze habit last week. I started restricting again.....but, catch is.....my younger sister is struggling with ED right now. I went to all her family days while she was in her inpatient program. I feel like such a twat falling into my old habits while i look her in the eyes and tell her to be strong and resist what her ED is telling her to do.

I mean, im doing it anyway. I haven't had more than 500 cals in the past 72 hours...but I still feel like a fuckwad. She deserves better than me....but I deserve better than what I see in the goddamn mirror.

I guess I just needed to get this out.

thanks for reading if you did.

Also hi, ill probably be posting here more often.

---

[Tip] Extremely filling 0 calorie meal
/u/sigh_dealingwithit
Created: Fri Apr 8 15:22:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dyhkh/extremely_filling_0_calorie_meal/
---
I'm currently fasting, but this meal is one of my faves when I'm eating. 0 cals, but you can add some veggies (mushrooms, spinach, kale, cauliflower, broccoli, onions, etc.) and keep it under 100 cals.

Miracle noodles (0 calorie Shirataki noodles): http://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Noodle-Shirataki-Angel-Pasta/dp/B0055CRH1S

Walden Farms Sesame Ginger dressing (0 cals): http://www.amazon.com/Walden-Farms-Dressing-Sesame-Ginger/dp/B003QSFZ5I

Chili garlic sauce (like Sriracha, but 0 cals): http://www.amazon.com/Huy-Fong-Vietnamese-Chili-Garlic/dp/B0006SKCVI

Extra salt/pepper/soy sauce to taste

Throw it all in a bowl, microwave for 5 minutes, and you have a giant bowl of 0 calorie goodness for days when you just wanna be full. I love fasting, but when I feel like eating this hits the spot. You can eat 3 bags of Shirataki noodles if you want. They'll make you so full that you literally can't eat anything else. When you weigh yourself the next day, you'll be heavier from all the water, but you'll shit it out and weigh less.

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[Other] Miracle Dieter Miyuki Vol 1: Chubby Yukimi finds a magical dumbbell that transforms her into Miracle Dieter, who, alongside Shape-up Cat Amino and Calorie-check Mouse Kuen, must battle an evil chef who tempts young girls with calorie-rich treats and dubious weight loss products [Manga] [Silly]
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 15:10:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dyfmh/miracle_dieter_miyuki_vol_1_chubby_yukimi_finds_a/
---
http://imgur.com/a/U2iaf

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[Discussion] I just weighed myself...
/u/scullayylmao
Created: Fri Apr 8 14:04:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dy5ac/i_just_weighed_myself/
---
I just weighed myself after finding the scale my mom hid from me.

It said 130lbs. Last summer I was 119. I don't know how to feel about this number. I knew I'd gain weight in my recovery but I feel so fat.

I'm hoping that it says 130 because I ate a shit ton of fruit and drank a lot of water today. I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning so here's hoping that it's somewhere in the 120s.

---

[Rant/Rave] I hate stalled progress...
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 13:08:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dxwca/i_hate_stalled_progress/
---
..and I hate binges; for all the normal reasons, but particularly because it sets back a week of weight loss.

* Mon: low weight
* Tues: BINGE
* Wed: BINGE
* Thur: restrict/recover
* Fri: back at Monday's weight

If I had just kept it together, Friday could have been a new low weight!! FUUUUUUCK.

Overall I know my weight is going down, and the rate of loss *will* slow down, but I've placed somewhat arbitrary time limits and goals in my path so I'm just...ugh, frustrated and I feel like I'm in the 11th hour.

My back is against the wall, I NEED to get below 115 by the 16th. And from there, I need to get to 110lbs by 6/18. But if I keep fucking up like this, then I'm just making everything *that much harder!*

wah wah wah, please excuse the whining.

---

[Tip] College/university students: Think you've seen every food, obesity, and ED documentary ever made? Think again!
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 12:52:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dxttt/collegeuniversity_students_think_youve_seen_every/
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My English professor gave an essay assignment on a documentary about agriculture last week, and she gave us a link through college's online library so that we could pull quotes and such from the film while we worked on it at home.

The website it's hosted on is called Kanopy, a paid streaming service with tons of documentaries for schools to use. I had no idea my school used it until now, and through the link my professor gave me I can watch any other documentary for free whenever I want so long as I'm a student.

Your school might not use the same exact site, but if you ask your librarian about online film resources to use as a research source, they might be able to give you a link to whatever similar service your school uses.

I've found a ton of documentaries that I didn't even know exist about obesity, EDs, food, weight loss, etc., so it's definitely worth looking into if you like that kind of documentaries :)

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[Discussion] Do you have more success skipping lunch or skipping dinner?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Apr 8 12:48:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dxt7g/do_you_have_more_success_skipping_lunch_or/
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Personally I do a lot better when I stop eating after lunch. Fasting all day and then starting to eat at home is a big binge trigger. There's just so much food at my disposal when I'm home & I'm in my "safe space" to stuff my face. The weeks where I skip dinner are the ones where I lose the most.

How about you?

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[Discussion] Add me on mfp!
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Fri Apr 8 12:37:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dxrcc/add_me_on_mfp/
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I just picked it back up again, my old app just wasn't cutting it. Brittneylopez041

Edit: also I feel bad. I'm almost at Mt calorie goal for the day. Nothing but water tea and black coffee for the rest of the day. About to go for a reallllyyyy long ass walk
:(

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[Rant/Rave] sriracha love/hate
/u/brileybreid
Created: Fri Apr 8 11:51:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dxjn4/sriracha_lovehate/
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purging sriracha is the worst... i didn't even think about it.. also I ate like 1500 already an it is only 1pm.. what now? i have a headache and tons of work but this is getting in the way so much <3

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[Other] In The Clothes Named Fat (Shibou to Iu Na no Fuku o Kite 1) [Manga] [Illustrated Nudity+Sex]
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 11:43:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dxid6/in_the_clothes_named_fat_shibou_to_iu_na_no_fuku/
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http://imgur.com/a/hxJNy

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[Other] Blood Slurping Darkness by Junji Ito (Yami no Koe 1) [Manga] [Horror, Supernatural]
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 11:25:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dxfjc/blood_slurping_darkness_by_junji_ito_yami_no_koe/
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http://imgur.com/a/Hw0tj

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[Other] Fasting by Kazuo Umezuhisashi [Manga] [Illustrated Violence]
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 11:07:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dxcgb/fasting_by_kazuo_umezuhisashi_manga_illustrated/
---
http://imgur.com/a/F400R

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[Help] For those of you who like weed - how do you control binges?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 8 10:47:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dx91m/for_those_of_you_who_like_weed_how_do_you_control/
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I LOVE to smoke, or take pot pills (preferred)

I usually end up binging on TEA ironically enough. Still cold enough here at night where I'll have maybe 5 cups of tea (using sweetener and a splash of coconut/almond milk or fat free 1/2 and 1/2) to satisfy my sweet tooth but sometimes I cannot control myself.

When I do binge I typically end up purging, but not always, and sometimes I just can't get myself to.

I know ideally I'd like to just stop using marijuana...but does anyone have any tips for avoiding the munchies?

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[Rant/Rave] I ate a bunch this week to prove to myself that I don't have a problem
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2.5" | 101.6lbs | 18.87 | -25.6 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 10:28:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dx5wo/i_ate_a_bunch_this_week_to_prove_to_myself_that_i/
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It was a very bad idea. I haven't counted my calories in almost a whole week, and I'm having a mini freak out. I'm so scared to weigh myself. I was almost below 100 pounds, I've ruined it. I had a sausage biscuit this morning and a hash brown. Then I also had a granola bar. This whole week has been a mess. I've also been bad at taking my bipolar meds too this week so I'm feeling super unhinged. I want to work out, but I'm too upset to get out of bed. I'm going to have to fast for a few days to undo all the damage. I just wanted to feel normal :(

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[Other] I pace so much now
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 10:15:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dx3w0/i_pace_so_much_now/
---
I have fitbit and I've been trying to like destroy my steps goal. I've been moving and walking so much at work (I work at my dads), I think I might be starting to wear a little path in the carpet haha. Pacing is helping me not eat, even though part of my route is through the kitchen. My parents usually never have any snack food worth eating. And unless my dad bbqs or makes something fancy, I'm pretty much left with old ass bananas or an amys bowl that I'm avoiding due to an accidental half of an egg and cheese croissant this morning (pulled the bacon off) that I'm overestimating lands at 500 calories. So fasting the rest of the day and drinking all the waters. (: just had to share.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 8 10:03:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dx1qo/daily_food_diary_april_08_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 08, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

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[Rant/Rave] I ate so much I'm going to die.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 09:16:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dwu86/i_ate_so_much_im_going_to_die/
---
Okay so I'm not going to *die* but I kinda feel like that blueberry girl from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory.

So my mom and her boyfriend took me out to dinner yesterday. I honestly feel like I ate an entire month's worth of calories in 1 meal. On the bright side, I don't feel as fat as I thought I would feel. My collar bones are still prominent and even though I'm still bloated and look kinda pregnant, I can feel/see my ribs and hip bones. The 2 glasses of wine I drank last night might have dehydrated me a bit? I haven't had alcohol in almost 4 weeks.

But I'm so disgusted with myself and bloated from last night that I feel like I'll never be able to eat again. How does one eat that much food? I'm terrified of weighing myself today. I also have not been able to use the toilet in like 2 days so that definitely won't help what the scale says. I don't have any laxatives and my stomach is in knots :/ even coffee isn't helping.

Blah I really wish my mom wasn't going to cook this weekend. I think I'm just going to have to (try to) fast all day again and wait for ~~death~~ dinner.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend.

Edit: I have diuretics but I feel like that would be pointless? I didn't drink much yesterday besides the 2 glasses of wine, but alcohol dehydrates you already, right? But I did eat a lot of high sodium foods so hmm maybe it would be worth a shot.

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[Help] So confused and upset. Telling SO? I don't think I've ever needed your advice and words more.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 09:11:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dwtfi/so_confused_and_upset_telling_so_i_dont_think_ive/
---
Long story short, ED is my biggest secret. No one knows about it. Why? Because it's always going to be a part of me and people tend to have this idea that "eating disorders can be cured". I also don't ever want anyone watching me eat, thinking about what I'm eating, questioning me, keeping an eye on me, judging me, etc. ED is so deeply ingrained in me that it is a part of me, it isn't a separate illness that I want to fix. I don't want to fix it. I take vitamins, I hydrate, I work out, I watch my macros, I'm OBSESSED with staying healthy yet thin. I'm okay. However, the past 2-3 days I've hit a rough patch. I'm restricting really well, but it's resulting in a huge mindfuck. I'm exhausted, irritable, and I've lost my appetite. I started to get nervous that I was restricting TOO well (SO ANNOYING BECAUSE ALL I WANT IS TO BE BINGE FREE BUT WHEN I FINALLY LOSE MY APPETITE FROM RESTRICTING, I GET NERVOUS I'M DOING IRREPARABLE DAMAGE TO MYSELF AND EAT AGAIN). So I ordered chicken quesadillas at a restaurant last night with my best friend. I could only eat one before I was nauseatingly full. Then I started to have a break down (keep in mind i'm also sick with a bad cold). One side of me was like "great! you need calories to heal from this bad cold, you need calories to gain mental clarity, your brain needs good fats and proteins, this is healthy, this is acceptable, this isn't a binge, blah blah blah). The other side of me was like WTF YOU RUINED ALL THAT RESTRICTION AND ON WHAT?? A CHICKEN QUESADILLA YOU STUPID, WEAK FUCK. So I spiraled into this panic and all of a sudden got fucking fed up with the whole thing. I spiraled quickly into sobbing (when I got home) over the fact that I don't think I can do this forever, I'm so disordered, I'm so confused, I'm the worst blah blah blah. So my BF called me because he could tell i was having a hard time. He asked what is going on, talk to me (because I have a history of "shutting down" and not sharing any emotions...ugh emotions are messy though! I have such a hard time confiding in people or showing weakness). So I just kept repeating to him that I'm so sick with this cold, haven't eaten a lot recently because of lack of appetite due to cold, so tired, etc. He bought all of it but suddenly was like, "fckk, I don't mean to push the point, but please tell me what is actually going on. You know everything about me and you think you're bothering me by telling me the negative parts of your life, but those are the parts i want to be included in so I can be there for you." That caught me off guard completely. I've NEVER CONSIDERED TELLING HIM, it's never even been an option. But all of a sudden I broke and wanted nothing more than to tell SOMEONE, just so i can be honest about when things are really tough. I said to him "it's a conversation we should have another day, when I'm not so emotional and out of control of the situation". So ugh, now he knows there's a "thing". and he said "you need to tell me tomorrow, I need to know". And I said, "I never told anyone, it's not that simple, I'm really scared" and he said, "you know what you're right, tell me when you're ready, this is yours to tell on your own time but I'm ready to hear it whenever."


WTF GUYS UGH. The cons of telling him: what if he doesn't "get it". what if he freaks out and tries to "fix me". What if he doesn't believe me?! what if he thinks i'm being dramatic in self-diagnosing because I was never clinically diagnosed? WHAT IF HE WATCHES ME EAT NOW? What if he keeps tabs on when i eat sweets aorund him and thinks "is she dying inside right now, did she lose contorl and that's why she is eating junk food?" i can't handle those sorts of judgements!

Pro: he's a huge part of my life and idk....SHOULD he be included in this since it impacts my day-to-day life so much? I'm not "sick" because i make sure that i never dip to a below weight BMI (I can't do that to my family, too many people have already suffered from ED-related illnesses). I keep my BMI in check, but I'm NOT going to give up ana, I'm simply not. He can't hospitalize me or anything because i'm not sick. And I don't think he would, he's always been an extremely understanding, calm, positive soul.

I don't know!!!! Advice? Stories? Options? Jesus, I don't know. I regret ever breaking down and fucking saying "it's a conversatoin for another day" because now he's aware there's a "thing" at all. I was just so vulnerable. Wow, I've never even hinted it to anyone. Idk, does this mean I'm "ready" to tell someone? i don't know. fuck

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[Rant/Rave] Having difficulty walking to work, having done this for almost a year
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 8 07:21:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dwck7/having_difficulty_walking_to_work_having_done/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I binged, I hate myself
/u/kongjinho [5'3" | 147.9 | 26.2 | -9 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 07:20:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dwcbw/i_binged_i_hate_myself/
---
Ugh I knew it would happen. I just really love to ruin everything for myself. Haven't gone this much over my calorie limit in ages and today I binged after a good week. I just had a horrible day, cried in school, spaced out on the train home...so when I got home, I just ate up my feelings.

The sad thing is that I don't even feel that bad physically. I was dizzy, deprived and craving everything before the binge. After the binge my head has cleared up, probably because I actually have energy.

But honestly, mentally I just feel like I want to die. I won't get anywhere close to my goal if I keep on doing stunts like this. **2800** calories...I could've stopped at my TDEE. I was aware the whole binged. Everything I ate, I logged. I could've stopped. Why didn't I?

This ED has really made my life different. I told myself not to binge because my birthday is on Sunday and I wanted to eat like a normal person and treat myself. I already told my mom that I didn't want any cake (we make it together every year and it's delicious and tastes like homemade love). I cancelled all my plans with my friends. I told my family that I wanted to skip the fancy restaurant and just eat sushi because it's easier to count. But still I binged. Now I just wanna shut myself in on Sunday and fast. I've never missed my dad and my brother so much like now. I just feel so *alone*.

I feel so gross and mad. I freak out when I can't weigh myself everyday and I don't weigh myself after binges. Now I probably can't weigh myself until Tuesday. I've had such a shitty day and I just hate everything and myself. Things were going so well. I really must like sabotaging myself. Thanks ProED for letting me rant.

Edit: added stuff

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[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! April 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 8 06:03:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dw29t/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_april_08/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for April 08, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Tip] Low calorie food alert! 25 per glass!
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Fri Apr 8 03:06:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dvlyq/low_calorie_food_alert_25_per_glass/
---
Guys..idk why there hasn't been a post about this yet but I think you all should know that unsweetened cashew milk is only 25 cals a serving (8 oz glass) and it's so super creamy I always cut it with water so it's even less that way. I use it as creamer, add it to sauces, and just drink it as a drink. It's seriously the best. And if you want a sweet treat, add some cocoa powder (hard to mix but if you shake it in a bottle or glass jar it is easier) and some monk fruit extract or stevia it makes the most delish low cal chocolate milk ever! Bonus points if you cut it with water because you are cutting those few calories even more. Enjoy lovelies!

I'm going to experiment with freezing it and making milkshakes. Will report back with results!

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[Other] Oh crap.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 02:31:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dvj1f/oh_crap/
---
My doctor just called me, my potassium levels are "dangerously low" and there were some changes in my EKG. I need to go to the ER and probably spend rest of today there, getting potassium intravenously. This most likely because I've been binging and purging so much. She suggested I'd consider inpatient like NOW, but I really don't want that.

But purging really is dangerous, remember that, folks.

Edit : They are so worried about my heart that they might keep me here overnight. I really hope I get home tonight. The doctor here has repeated many times that if I get home I just can't throw up or I risk getting some serious heart problems. I should be more scared, I think, now I'm just irritated that I have to be here with nothing to do.

---

[Tip] For flavor cravings...
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 01:03:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dvbr8/for_flavor_cravings/
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Drink them instead!

I wanted a gingersnap (actually lbr I wanted to eat a 2 lb sack of gingersnaps). Instead, I made a hot gingersnap-flavored drink with ground ginger, cloves, sweetener, a drop of molasses, hot water, and a little almond milk. It was warm and sweet and spicy and comforting. Negligible calories, full stomach, CRAVING BUSTED.

I do this a lot with savory stuff, too, using broth as a base. Oregano/tomato paste/garlic salt/tiny bit of Parm = pizza broth. Curry powder and coconut milk = Indian broth. Lemongrass/ginger/garlic = Thai broth. Etc. Sometimes I add an egg or a handful of greens (just stuff some in the mug and let them wilt) to make it a meal.

Sounds strange but I love all kinds of hot drinks, they take a while to consume and really suppress appetite. And having a bunch of flavors-with-no-calories ideas really helps keep me entertained while keeping my real food sure simple and safe.

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[Help] Bronkaid in Aus?
/u/A_Sly_Fox [172cm | 65kg | 21 | 15kg | F]
Created: Fri Apr 8 00:10:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dv6ol/bronkaid_in_aus/
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Hi all!
Just a quick question - are any of you in Australia? And if so, where do you purchase your bronkaid from?

Thank you in advance for any help you can offer :)

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Started purging, but I would rather not bother.
/u/luminouslylurid
Created: Thu Apr 7 23:18:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dv1ic/started_purging_but_i_would_rather_not_bother/
---
[removed]

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[Intro] New here? Have an embarrassing long road ahead
/u/Knitwithpearl [5'7" | 216.4 | 39.9 | 7.0 | Female]
Created: Thu Apr 7 23:18:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dv1i9/new_here_have_an_embarrassing_long_road_ahead/
---
Hi there. On mobile, sorry for weird formatting.

I'm trying to get myself back into the motivation of eating under 1,000cal/day lately. Back in 2013 I went from 230lb down to 169 eating 500cal/day. Unfortunately I got burned out and stopped restricting (it took a year to come back, though)

I have an abnormally large skeleton, the lowest I think I could actually get would be about 150lbs. As an example, at 170lbs, my ribs were showing. For reference, I'm 5'7", weigh (I think? Weighing tomorrow) 230lbs again. So, I'm aiming for 150 as my goal (although given everyone's stats here I'm a bit embarrassed about how high that is).

In preparation I've been lowering my daily calorie count a bit more every day, 1600 yesterday, 1300 today. Going to try for 800 tomorrow?

I guess I'm looking for some motivation tips and encouragement. It's a bit difficult for me to get away with VLCDs because I live at home (I'm 25. Moved home because I'm getting a divorce) and my mom is pretty attentive.

I'm also really afraid of failure and inability to be disciplined :( ack.

Edit:

For reference, here's what I looked like in those weights:

(Black and red dress - 170) http://i.imgur.com/lvKuZbah.jpg

(Blue dress - 180) http://i.imgur.com/vXX2uMMh.jpg

(Jeans & hoodie - 190) http://i.imgur.com/ZvAWhKvh.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] Freaking the hell out/ my general failures.
/u/whyhelloothere [163cm| 49kg| 18.7| -15 kg| F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 22:49:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4duyhv/freaking_the_hell_out_my_general_failures/
---
I've never submitted a post on here before but i need to rant so here it goes ( excuse spelling and grammar, I'm currently losing my shit).

So yesterday I don't know what happened but i binged on a ton of shit, lollies, icecream, bagels, cheese, basically you name it I probably ate it. I really didn't want to purge but I did it anyway and you think I would've stopped eating after that, but no I didn't I went right back and shoved my fat gob with even more food.

Fast forward to now, I decided to fast and take some phentermine, I took double the recommended dosage, went to uni and found out I failed one assignment and did shit on another one. I can't fucking do anything right and all I want to do right now is take a ton of pills and alcohol and just fucking end this shit. I can't even fast right, I just ate a fruit hoping itd help my sick stomach which it didn't. . Basically I'm a fuck up and i don't know what to do, Im still a fatass and my scales can't even agree which means im pretty I weigh more than what the scales with the lowest number says.

I just want to be perfect but I can't even do the simplest things right, I deserve to starve and I deserve these hunger pains.

Sorry for this incoherent rant.

---

[Help] How to stop after school binges ??
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 21:47:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4durcd/how_to_stop_after_school_binges/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4durcd/how_to_stop_after_school_binges/

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[Goal] I'm too small for the airbag sensor to notice me
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Thu Apr 7 21:33:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dupk7/im_too_small_for_the_airbag_sensor_to_notice_me/
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I got in my brother's car today, because we had to go get my dog my from the vet and I needed to keep her calm so he could drive and when I got into the passenger seat (which has this sensor so that the airbag won't work if there's not enough weight on the seat) and I'm too light to set it off now! There's this part on the dash that says "passenger airbag" and the word "off" lights up in orange when it doesn't detect a passenger. And I guess the sensor only picks up more than 90 pounds (: now I'm small enough at 90 that it doesn't notice. Since I was forced to gain a whole bunch of weight it it stopped lighting up and it makes me so happy that it does now.

It's a bit concerning in the odd event of a crash...

But it's really nice to know.

Yay 90. Time for 83 though.

Onward!

---

[Help] Absolutely horrified of water weight?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 21:29:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4duozp/absolutely_horrified_of_water_weight/
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I don't know what else to call this. So yes. It is as stated.

I am absolutely scared that I will gain water weight back. I have lost 8 pounds since last Tuesday. Most of which was water weight as I have not eaten much sodium and also have been laxing... bad I know.

But anyways. How can I just... like prevent water weight coming back... somehow? I try to drink enough water every day, but I'm scared eating food (any amount of food. I haven't finished a plate in 4 days) and drinking water will lead to a gain.

I'm so so so scared... expecially because i have to go home this weekend please give me some kind of advice?

---

[Rant/Rave] Losing my appetite.
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Thu Apr 7 21:20:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dunw8/losing_my_appetite/
---
Once in a while my depression comes back. I don't have the reason why, I just feel waves of it sometimes. Every now and then, in different points in my life I fall deeper and deeper into my own negative thoughts. I've never learned how to move passed it, even after therapy. In high school I lost a ton of weight, favorite pants of mine fit me too loose even with a belt, and every one of my friends noticed a huge change.

Why am I mentioning any of this? Because I'm starting to get sadder and sadder. Food looks just so unappetizing, no cravings, couldn't even enjoy some ice cream a couple days ago. I don't get hungry, unless I start shaking. But I won't allow myself to finish anything. Not even the smallest meal I can grab. I slept so much today, couldn't bring myself to get up. At least I can look forward to any weight loss, I should step on my scale and see.

Also, I won't get into why or how my depression came back. I don't know if I pretend I'm fine, and once in a while it's harder to hide it. I can explain everything I'm feeling, but who would care, I don't want advice because the problem is in myself, it doesn't have to do with anyone else. I can go on, honestly, but it won't do much but remind me of how pathetic I am.

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[Help] Do yall think fitbit is lying to me? I had another binge day
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 20:39:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4duil4/do_yall_think_fitbit_is_lying_to_me_i_had_another/
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I figure you have to taper down from your addictions. Also I overestimated as much as possible. https://imgur.com/FISO4ck

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[Rant/Rave] So can I wear a garbage bag to the ball or what
/u/depressionistaaa [5'8 | 144.8| 21.78 | not enough | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 20:32:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4duhpc/so_can_i_wear_a_garbage_bag_to_the_ball_or_what/
---
I'm supposed to go to this super shwanky (shwanky? Is that how you spell that) graduation ball and I have literally nothing to wear that doesn't make me look like a fucking meatball. I have at least 7 dresses that are 4 sizes too small from my LW that I refuse to get rid of and just sit there in the closet judging me and then I have two appropriate dresses which both don't do much to hide the fact that I'm the size of a house. Just spent an hour using my laptop camera to body check over and over and over. Everyone is going to look beautiful and I am going to look like a potted plant. Goddamn this.

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[Goal] 2 weeks to lose 10 lbs
/u/childshair [5'7 | 107.2 lbs | 16.73 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 20:32:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4duhm1/2_weeks_to_lose_10_lbs/
---
My boy-thing-date-person-idk is on an 18 day trip to Japan and I want to lose as much weight as possible before he gets back.

My GW is 100lbs and I have around 8lbs to lose.


I'm just praying to every god out there for the self control to do so. My goal is for him to come back and comment on how thin I've become. :( help

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[Other] When your overweight friend asks for help with their diet because nothing is working...
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Thu Apr 7 20:10:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4duerc/when_your_overweight_friend_asks_for_help_with/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-Ruc1dMsm0&feature=youtu.be

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[Rant/Rave] Frustrated at a change of plans.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 19:57:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ducxh/frustrated_at_a_change_of_plans/
---
A friend spontaneously asked me if I wanted to go get ice cream, it sounded like a nice treat but I had already eaten dinner with family. So I went and purged.
My friend decided while we were out that she was feeling a little sick so we just hung out in a park instead. On one hand I'm glad I didn't have those extra calories, and even saved a few through purging, but I'm also frustrated that it was all for nothing. I'm really trying to put an end to purging, so I wish it had been for a good cause, at least.

---

[Intro] Intro: Been lurking for a few weeks.
/u/lotr4000 [5'2"| CW 153 |BMI 28|-62|F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 19:10:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4du6mh/intro_been_lurking_for_a_few_weeks/
---
Hey there everyone.
I've had a weird love/hate relationship with food for so long.
As a teen, I often water fasted, over exercised (DDR geek here), and just punished my body because I didn't know anything about macros, how to track calories, etc. ( That lasted one Summer only. My lowest weight was 130. )
I eventually gave up and went in the extreme opposite direction, and became very overweight for years. (215) I also exhibited all of the behavior that I read about in the FPS subreddit. That sub along with keto helped me to change the way that I think about food, and brought me back down to a more manageable weight.

Unfortunately, I can't stop thinking about time and aging ( I'm 28. ), and how I would love to be thin and just *enjoy it* for once in my life.

I want to buy cute outfits, feel good about having my picture taken whenever and wherever, be that skinny girl that can down a burger, fries, and a shake, and have my family wonder where it all goes.
It doesn't have to last forever, but I just want to experience freedom the way that I think some people somewhere must be when they can go out to eat with friends and buy a dress all in one day. I mean, they exist right?
Or do all of those people obsess over food too?

I suppose I don't know, but I want to find out what I'm really capable of.
I'm currently 157, with a goal range of 110-120.
I'd be very happy bouncing around in that weight range for the rest of my life.

My life currently revolves around my weight loss. I think about it so much and I don't know how to stop, or even if I should stop if I'm really going to reach my goals.

A lot of my Facebook friends will try to steer my self-talk away from the negative, but seeing myself in a negative light is what brought me this far. Yes, it's lessening and becoming more positive as I hit my goals, but sometimes I just want to HATE myself and be totally okay with that. Sometimes I use it to push into the next hour, the next day, the next week.
I don't know, maybe I just want to be able to *stew* in my own self hatred for a little while without anyone telling me to go easy on myself. Going "easy on myself" is what led me to binge eat to begin with. It was an awful cycle of fast food and self loathing.
I know that's not what they mean when they say those things, but it's very hard to be kind to myself when I'm still so far from my goals.

Every once in a while I'll assume "the binge position" in front of the fridge, and "snack" my way through tiny portions of everything that turns into an extra 800 calories for the day.

Keto has helped me lessen this tremendously, but it still happens once every few weeks or so.

In the meantime, I'm tracking tracking tracking, weighing everything out, eating repetitive meals and living for the scale every morning.

I've just added a lot of people from this sub onto MfP, I suppose for motivation and support. ( Same as my user name. )

It's just - this place is so comforting and welcoming, and every time I open this sub on my phone it feels like coming home.
I've needed to talk about this for so long, and it just feels good to have people who I know will understand.

Thank you so much for just - being here. For being real.
In the olden days of the internet it was so hard to find places like this. So thank you so much for simply existing. <3

---

[Help] I might have body dismorphia
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 7 18:02:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dtx3b/i_might_have_body_dismorphia/
---
[deleted]

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[Tip] I just discovered chocolate PB2
/u/silverturtle [5'2" | 113 | 20.7 | -17 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 17:49:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dtv5n/i_just_discovered_chocolate_pb2/
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And omg, it's the greatest thing I've ever eaten. All the taste of chocolate and peanut butter, none (or at the very least, very little) of the guilt. If you've never had it before I HIGHLY suggest you try it out because it's a caloric game changer

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[Help] What do/would you guys say when someone asks how you get so thin?
/u/giveyokoachance [5'4 | 120 | 20.6 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 17:36:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dttbf/what_dowould_you_guys_say_when_someone_asks_how/
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Earlier I came into work without my uniform shirt on and I had on a tight longsleeve, and my supervisor asked, "How do you get so skinny?". And then I just kind of diverted it but my manager was like, "Is it just natural?" and I was like, "Umm...yeah, mostly." It just caught me off guard because I haven't been asked that before. Like obviously I don't want to come out like, "lol yeah I starve myself!!" so I was just wondering what you say when someone asks. Thank you♡

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[Discussion] Anybody else jealous of children?....
/u/Strongpursuits [5'4"/SW: 150/Lw:96.6/Cw: 112.0/Gw: Gonegirl/]
Created: Thu Apr 7 17:14:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dtq3k/anybody_else_jealous_of_children/
---
I don't know if this resonates with anybody else, but i often look at very small children - like 5 to 10 year olds - and find myself overly jealous of their tiny little arms and legs. Even though i know it's physically impossible to have their bony physique, such a large part of me has the desire to strive for it.

Anybody else find themselves jealous of unrealistic expectations like that? I don't do it with models or anybody else - just very small people like kids? It's odd.

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[Help] Fasting nausea?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 7 16:35:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dtk07/fasting_nausea/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] ITT: Broke, fat, unemployed singles party!
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 16:33:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dtjnz/itt_broke_fat_unemployed_singles_party/
---
Woohooo! Come for the binge eating, stay for the overwhelming shame!

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[Goal] Selfies to prevent binging
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Apr 7 16:13:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dtggl/selfies_to_prevent_binging/
---
I got a tip on here (sorry, forgot who I need to credit!) that taking selfies when you want to binge will help stop yourself. So since I'm fast approaching the first magic number of 18.5, I took some photos of newly emerging bones and I am so happy. I'm sorry, I am so proud of myself and I feel bad for being so happy about it but I'm not binging and instead sharing. Face included for the first time because, fuck it, I'm happy.


http://imgur.com/a/LmmIW

---

[Rant/Rave] I can't stop eating. I don't 'binge' but I'm hungry all the time. I'm truly fat. I'm miserable.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 7 15:46:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dtcbk/i_cant_stop_eating_i_dont_binge_but_im_hungry_all/
---
I'm afraid to add up what I've eaten even though I had planned to track everything today (had to go to a work lunch)
I want so badly to be able to be as fully motivated as you all
I feel hungry so often
My SO pushes me to eat and once I stop restricting I just feel famished and want to eat everything

I know realistically my intake for the day is not very high. I am not thin like anyone here. I want to be.

I want to stop for bronkaid but my anxiety to stop at the pharmacy is so high. I restricted for so long, lost so much weight for my body.

Why can't I do it again? I spend all day on here, going through comments, thinspo, posts. I feel like such a failure. I usually take laxatives to self-punish and hurt my stomach so i'm not hungry.

I want to punish myself for being so hungry and eating.

---

[Rant/Rave] noooooooo (binge regret)
/u/_venusonfire [5'3" | 121 | 22.03 | -4 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 15:36:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dtano/noooooooo_binge_regret/
---
I just spent the last 3 days doing nothing but eating. total binge. gained 2 lbs. I'm disgusting.

super frustrating too cuz I had finally broke 120.

---

[Discussion] What can't you keep in the house?
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 15:33:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dta9l/what_cant_you_keep_in_the_house/
---
After this week, I've learned (more than once) that I can't keep jars of PB (single serve cups are okay), whipped cream that comes in the can or blocks of cheese in my house. They are items just waiting to be binged on.

Things that I ALWAYS have on hand: coffee, diet A&W root beer, La Croix Grapefruit, cans of tuna fish and shrimp.

What about you guys?

---

[Discussion] What is your weirdest go-to low calorie food combo?
/u/yourfavoritevegan
Created: Thu Apr 7 15:33:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dta5f/what_is_your_weirdest_goto_low_calorie_food_combo/
---
For example, I love kale with mustard/soy sauce as a dressing. I know that has crazy sodium levels, but it's a treat haha.

---

[Discussion] Does anyone else hate their muscle?
/u/fart_joke [4'11" | 124 lbs | 25 | -41 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 14:51:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dt37y/does_anyone_else_hate_their_muscle/
---
I LOVE the boney look, and I know many of you do, too. But I hate that muscle is holding me back from getting lower on the scale/looking thinner. At the same time, more muscle = more fat burning, so I'm conflicted about it.

Even though I'm at an overweight BMI, my doctor pinched the fat on my legs a few days ago and said I was fine, I don't need to lose more because it's mostly just muscle there. I want to get to sub-fucking 100 and this is bullshit!! But at the same time, I don't want to look flabby..

I keep jumping back and forth from "Fuck yeah! fitness! Weight lifting!" to "I'm a fat slob for eating 800 calories today."

Anyone else dealing with something similar to this?

---

[Goal] I Just Talked Myself Out Of a Binge.
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 13:42:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dsrpi/i_just_talked_myself_out_of_a_binge/
---
There was a fridge.

There was ice cream, mac n cheese, all of that high calorie shit.

I knew what I was about to do. I had the mac n cheese in my hands, ready to start microwaving.

But then, I remembered.

How did I feel the last time I binged?

I moaned and groaned in my head,

cried,

Felt miserable for fucking up my diet.

I was *not* going to put myself through that again.

I put down the mac n cheese,

brewed a cup of green tea,

then sat down and started typing.

Thank you /r/proed for giving me the willpower I needed to resist a binge <3 without you guys, I would be shoveling mac n cheese and ice cream into my face right about now. Love you <3

---

[Other] went to the doctors today, for the first time, feeling weak and would like some love from people who *get* it
/u/euripidest [5"1 | 79 | 14.9 | -38 | f]
Created: Thu Apr 7 13:36:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dsqsk/went_to_the_doctors_today_for_the_first_time/
---
i've posted here before, for months now, under a different username which is lost on my computer now and i cant remember it. sorry

took a break anyway as my dad visited and went a bit nuts when he saw me. hadn't seen him since christmas

so yes i went to the doctors today and have been urgently referred to a mental health centre/unit. and put on medication. and i need to go back next week. part of me really wants to fast until i go back just so i can be a lot smaller, or something.

i don't know i went because i felt like i was going to die yesterday. racing heart and couldn't move. but i feel better today. i'm so tired, though, and all i've really done is slept. not good. i am in my final year at university and need to push forward with work.

don't know what i want, i just wanted to speak to someone. its hard i feel very isolated and alone.

should i tell the person i'm seeing what's going on? i never know. i don't want to ruin things but it feels like i'd be betraying or lying if i said nothing at this point. oh well

---

[Discussion] UK considering whether to add labels to junk food which would indicate how much exercise you would need to do to burn the calories off
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Thu Apr 7 12:49:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dsik9/uk_considering_whether_to_add_labels_to_junk_food/
---
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/food-labels-exercise-1.3523084

---

[Thinspo] I like this kind of day.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 12:22:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dse1q/i_like_this_kind_of_day/
---
Where I live, it's overcast, raining, sometimes pouring, quite chilly and windy today. I like these kinds of days. I make my make-up more dramatic and darker to suit the cozy, dark weather. And I restrict. It's a lot easier to go against the grain of nature (restrict) and remain pure (eat minimal & nutritionally dense foods only) when nature seems to be on your side, cuddling you in it's forces. Not sure why, it just does. Perhaps it's a feeling I can't convey with words but maybe you guys can vibe with what I'm saying anyway.

Just a thought!

<3

---

[Other] Happy Fasting Day! 30 cal triple iced Americano + Primatene
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 11:45:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ds7h5/happy_fasting_day_30_cal_triple_iced_americano/
---
http://i.imgur.com/tXMGRSE.jpg

---

[Help] 2 weeks alone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 7 11:29:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ds4gi/2_weeks_alone/
---
Turns out I will be for at least 10 days in a few weeks. I want to make sure I have no food available in my house (I really enjoy smoking and want to make sure there's **no** temptations/possibility of snacking/binging) while I'm alone and really take advantage of this time.

I want to stock up on laxatives. Maybe try my first fast??

I feel like this is a chance to get back to where I was after I was sick.

Any tips or advice???

---

[Rant/Rave] new day, new commitment.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 11:26:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ds3zy/new_day_new_commitment/
---
2 days of bingeing is enough. I'm done. I will keep my calories below 1300. I will resist the 3pm snacking. I will only eat the appropriate portion of dinner to meet my 1300 goal. I will drink tea/water/distract myself when I feel the urge to snack. I will not obsess about all the food around me.

I will break this fucking plateau, and I will be at or below 115lbs by next Saturday so I can be the skinniest woman at the birthday party we're attending.

Fuck you hunger, you ain't got shit on my vanity.

---

[Other] Not ED related, but this song really inspires me. I thought I'd share. "Open Road" by Roo Panes
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 11:16:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ds27g/not_ed_related_but_this_song_really_inspires_me_i/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km8QcmCNs-4

---

[Discussion] OH HELL NO. Grossed the appetite right out of me. (creepy-crawlies)
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Thu Apr 7 10:51:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4drxr4/oh_hell_no_grossed_the_appetite_right_out_of_me/
---
I'm kind of laughing at myself right now because I've never been happy to find a bug in my house.

My place is a disaster and I get overwhelmed easily, so I decided that every time I move from one room to another, I will straighten up/put away/wipe down/whatever 5 things. (I decided this two days ago; it's working *really* well!) Well I went to the kitchen to get some Halo Top, but I did my 5 items first.

I've been seeing some wood beetles around my kitchen, but COULD NOT figure out where the fuck they were coming from. My place is messy and my clothes are all dirty, but I don't leave food out or not wipe down the counters or anything. It's messy but generally it's not DIRTY. I checked all the food cabinets and all the cabinets around the foot cabinets, as well as where we store pots/pans/plates etc. I couldn't figure it out.

Today I fucking figured it out. There's one cabinet that we rarely use. It had all our dog's medicines and training pads and stuff. My dog died last year :(. We also keep catnip in there.

IT WAS THE FUCKING CATNIP.

I open it and there were like 20 fucking beetles, and I mean that literally. Stuck together, fucking. Pro-creating.

OH HELL NO.

I rained down a fiery death of vinegar, but ewwwww.

I keep feeling like I feel a bug crawling on me, but I look down and there's nothing. I FUCKING HATE BUGS.

Anyway, the halo top remains untouched. Good thing too -- that shit's expensive.

---

[Discussion] People who've experienced medical complications due to low weight, what happened and at what point?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 10:39:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4drvt7/people_whove_experienced_medical_complications/
---
I'm sorry that the title is such a personal question, but since everyone's bodies are obviously different and you can't give me an exact timeline for how mine is going to react, I figured it was better to just ask about your personal experience.

I'm just trying to get a rough idea of what's going to happen to my body and when. I keep googling it, but I can't find anything specific, like at what BMI amenorrhea generally sets in or when you start having heart problems or other health complications.

---

[Goal] Gap!!!!!!
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 10:08:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4drqb8/gap/
---
Sure, my feet are shoulder width apart, but after not losing any weight for 2 weeks this is a good morale booster. Just had to rave about it for a minute.

Hello there baby thigh gap. I have missed you. ♡

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Apr 7 10:02:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4drpav/daily_food_diary_april_07_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 07, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] My thighs aren't as monstrous as I remember them!
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Apr 7 09:39:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4drllw/my_thighs_arent_as_monstrous_as_i_remember_them/
---
I've been having a hard time seeing the changes in my body since I've lost 35lbs. When my physical therapist asked me to wear shorts to our sessions, I was mortified at the thought of my giant, jiggly squishy thighs being on display.

Today he had me do jump squats to check my form and I was terrified of the sight of my thigh fat flying everywhere like a human-shaped pile of Gak. But I forced myself to look in the mirror and...it wasn't that bad anymore! They were mostly solid, only the inner thighs jiggled and it was a lot less movement than I'd expected.

I'm just so motivated to keep going and firm up these puppies. The idea of having nice thighs is like a dream to me. Time to make it come true! :-)

---

[Goal] I hit my first goal weight three days ago
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Apr 7 09:20:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4drie0/i_hit_my_first_goal_weight_three_days_ago/
---
And I've been binging for three days straight too, up 3.5 Lb. What the fuck is wrong with me. My head keeps telling me I need candy and crisps and that I could eat now and it's fine. No head, it's not. You are still a fat whale even tho ur BMI says otherwise.


PLEASE help me get out of this cycle. What should I do?

---

[Rant/Rave] I feel disgusting.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 09:10:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4drgrh/i_feel_disgusting/
---
My mom and her boyfriend arrived last night. They brought food on their way home from the airport and I had some - exactly 14 fries and 5 chicken nuggets. But I'm up 1.4 pounds today.

**1.4 pounds!!**

I know it's water weight and I haven't used the toilet yet but I feel so disgusting. I don't even want to think about what the scale will say on Monday morning once they're gone.

Last night when I got into bed, I had so much anxiety about what I had eaten. My heart was racing, I couldn't sleep and I could *feel* myself gaining weight. Clearly I wasn't wrong.

---

[Intro] Intro
/u/wispypixie [5'0 | too scared to look | NB]
Created: Thu Apr 7 08:55:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dre9b/intro/
---
My name is amelia. I'm 20. I was 'recovered' for a while but I'm back to disordered eating. I've gained a lot of weight, honestly you could say I was still disordered eating because of all the weight I gained. I'm too scared to step on the scale - it literally has dust on it. I'm sitting here googling everything because I've lost quite a bit of the food knowledge that seems to come with this kinda thing. Googling alternatives to this and that.. My life is a wreck and I've just lost all control of everything, including my eating. But I'm trying to get 'back on track' with that and hopefully get rid of some of this weight. I'm kind of just rambling here. Anyway, I'm trying to make a grocery list with limitations. I only have access to a toaster and minifridge (with limited use of oven/stove/microwave at the moment). Making a grocery list of 'healthy' foods. Also got some bronkaid and hopefully getting caffeine tablets to go with it. I've never looked into supplements like this before and I'm hoping they don't cause me too much trouble. I'm not really sure what all is allowed on this subreddit. I did look through the rules and FAQ but was confused by a few different things.. If you have any advice on how to be safe about the caffeine and bronkaid (for appetite suppression) that would be cool, but if it's not allowed that's fine too. (Surprisingly enough, I do have asthma and have taken bronkaid for that but I looked up appetite suppression and it popped up with caffeine) I'm just here for community, really. No one (besides on person) in my life really understands this and I just need someone right now. I'm also on twitter but that's mainly for the stream of thoughts that come into my head. I feel all alone and I'm hoping this subreddit will help.

---

[Discussion] How many people on here are equestrians??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 7 07:53:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dr4ic/how_many_people_on_here_are_equestrians/
---
[deleted]

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[Discussion] Odi et amo
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 07:47:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dr3lw/odi_et_amo/
---
so I'm studying latin now for the 11th year. And since there are only so many classic works that are really taught, there's a bit of cycle through. The last time I read Catullus was in 11th grade, and I didn't really *get* a lot of the stuff that he was writing about. It was presented as somewhat silly poetry. Now I'm reading him again and it's really resonating with me. He writes so frequently about his relationship to a woman, Lesbia, with whom he has a rocky affair. And for me, I've been noticing that their ups and downs really match how I feel towards my developing ED

Catullus 85

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.

Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.

"I hate and I love. Why might I do this, perhaps you ask.

I do not know, but I feel it to be done and I am tormented."

This was part of my homework today and it really hit me in a raw place. I've asked myself that question so many times. "Why am I doing this?" both with binges (especially with binges) and with restriction. It's such a complicated and tangled feeling. And it was somewhat comforting to read the experiences of this human being some 1000 years ago who was dealing with these same demons (albeit in relationships, not food)

---

[Help] Feeling hungover during the day.
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 07:46:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dr3k7/feeling_hungover_during_the_day/
---
Ok so I recently dropped my goal daily cal from 900 to 600 and have been doing decently well averaging out at about 650 for the day. This is been for a week. I'm also an off week for my EC stack (tolerance break). I also only eat at 6:00 p.m. During the day while I am at work I feel hungover and not well rested. Like my head has that pre migraine empty weird feeling and my eyes kind of hurt. Does this happen to anyone else? I'm wondering if it is from eating much less or if it could just be something else. I also got very hungover last weekend so maybe I still just haven't rehydrated from that. If anyone else gets this way what do you do?

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[Help] Need tips on fasting
/u/bitsybones [5'2 | 140 | 25.6 | 137 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 07:07:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dqxwu/need_tips_on_fasting/
---
On mobile so I can't flair :-(

Hey friends. I'm looking for advice. I've never fasted before mainly because I'm scared I don't have the strength and willpower to do it and I'm pretty prone to binge eating, (though I haven't binged in 5 days! Woo!) but I'd really like to give it a shot. Does anyone have any tips on how I can do this successfully as a beginner?

---

[Thinspo] Legs
/u/Thepuginpink
Created: Thu Apr 7 06:47:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dqv59/legs/
---
http://imgur.com/BKeWNOx

---

[Help] Question about exercising on a fast?
/u/IWant2BASkeleton [5'7" | 155.4lbs | 24.3 | -5.6lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 06:07:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dqqci/question_about_exercising_on_a_fast/
---
Hi! I've been a lurker here forever, but I just made an account to join the community. I'm not as small (currently) as I used to be

(5'7 LW:103, CW: 157.6, -4.4 lbs, GW: 119, UGW: 101).

I was forced into recovery and while I definitely gained into a "healthy weight" I am absolutely miserable. I have fasted before but only when I didn't really have to make myself do much during the day and I could smoke and sip water/tea/coffee/diet soda all day. Now I'm a waitress/bartender (bar food temptation) so I'm running around a hot restaurant and kitchen 4 times a week for 6-12 hours at a time, and I'm also a student with a really rigorous hip hop dance class. I don't have a 36-48 hour window to fast without some decent physical activity.

Do you guys work out when you fast? Do you get dizzy? What vitamins do you take?

Thanks for the help lovelies. I'm so glad there's a place like this for me. For us <3

---

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support April 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Apr 7 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dqpr5/weekly_emotional_support_april_07_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

---

[Other] [HUMOUR] Juxtaposition. That daily calorie limit, that article, that weight update. What were you saying, MFP?
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Apr 7 05:17:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dqkxc/humour_juxtaposition_that_daily_calorie_limit/
---
http://imgur.com/Q3hiJcN

---

[Tip] Eat This Much app is available for Android!
/u/littlegayalien [5'2" | 178.6lbs | 33.84 | -4lbs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 04:32:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dqgln/eat_this_much_app_is_available_for_android/
---
I saw someone mention this website (www.eatthismuch.com) on here a while ago and I thought it was great. It gives you recipes for foods within your daily calorie limit. It has been available for ios for a while I guess but I just received an email letting me know it has launched for Google Play!

So here's to us Android users, https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.eatthismuch

---

[Goal] Going to the doctor today
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 04:15:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dqf45/going_to_the_doctor_today/
---
So fast fast fast fast fast. I ate too much last night...and it's gonna be cold today. Light weight warmth and an empty belly are all I need.

---

[Goal] proud of myself
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Thu Apr 7 02:11:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dq4j8/proud_of_myself/
---
today i was STARVING at a party with PIZZA and i had 3 veggie slices but just picked off the veggies and ate those didnt eat the cheese or bread at all. at a party of mainly men and people who dont count cals i was v proud for resisting and not giving a fuck about people judging

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[Help] This may be a weird question, but how long after a period should I wait to weigh myself?
/u/Snappabean
Created: Thu Apr 7 01:59:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dq3j1/this_may_be_a_weird_question_but_how_long_after_a/
---
Hey guys. So I've been doing really well, eating under 800 calories except a couple of planned days. I actually haven't weighed myself since I was home last a month ago because I don't have access to a scale. I've been keeping up by measuring my waist, and I've actually lost an inch off it!

So I was planning to go weigh myself, but then the last couple of days I was feeling bloated and sick... and my period came. I haven't gotten a period in about a year because of my BC so I have no idea when all this bloat goes away. Is it water weight? Anyway, I don't want to weigh myself now in case I'm up a couple of pounds from it. Those of you that weigh yourselves regularly, about when do you see your weight go back to normal after your period? Anything I can do to help it like drinking more water?

Thanks for your help- I was freaking out a little when I woke up yesterday and felt so bloated. I felt like I could visibly see the difference :( I don't want to weigh myself and have it confirmed.

---

[Discussion] Anyone been to a clinic for BED? Tell me about it :)
/u/butcustardcreams [5'9" | 67.8 kgs | 22.1 | -5.2 kgs | F]
Created: Thu Apr 7 01:34:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dq1ep/anyone_been_to_a_clinic_for_bed_tell_me_about_it/
---
Hey everyone,
Finally got a referral from a doctor to go to an eating disorder clinic nearby for my binge eating - on the NHS so may take a while but at least it'll be free :)

The psychologist who gave me the referral asked about if I ever had restrictive behaviours as well but I couldn't bring myself to be honest about that too, as I was worried if I said that they would start trying to fix that before the binge eating which would just make me even fatter :'( lol

So has anyone been treated for binge eating behaviours before? I know the basics like try not to eat your feelings, eat more often (lol as if) yada yada but I was curious to know if they have more helpful solutions at a proper treatment place - any experiences? What am I in for?

---

[Rant/Rave] Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Apr 7 00:49:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dpxhm/yea_though_i_walk_through_the_valley_of_the/
---
[deleted]

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[Goal] 38 hours!!! I fasted for 38 hours
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 141 lbs | -10 | GW 115 | 22.76 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 23:05:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dpn7j/38_hours_i_fasted_for_38_hours/
---
I posted [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dic6r/16_hours_into_a_24_hour_fast_just_thought_id/) the other day just documenting my progress and holy shit I fucking DID IT!!!


I was gonna do 24 hours but my fitness-buff brother was like "Usually people do 36-48" and I was like damn ok. So I fucking did 38 hours because I knew I could! I woke up a little dizzy so I ended my fast at 10 AM with some applesauce and HOLY SHIT: Do not eat anything post-fast unless you are prepared to shit it out ten minutes later.


Anyway, I'm super proud of my progress and I think my body understands now that it doesn't need food all the damn time. I fit into a size 4 dress today and I'm hoping to be 120 lbs by the end of May! Stay as safe and healthy as you can, everyone. :)

---

[Discussion] What food-related behavior/opinion do you wish you could magically remove from the general population?
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Wed Apr 6 21:30:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dpcbl/what_foodrelated_behavioropinion_do_you_wish_you/
---
I know I'm not the only one with pet peeves. Lay it on me!

---

[Rant/Rave] FML: the mother-in-law edition
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 21:14:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dpa78/fml_the_motherinlaw_edition/
---
So MIL stopped by tonight, bearing late Easter gifts and Portillo's for dinner. I honestly love my MIL, she's a cool ass lady who minds her own business.

She's so cool she even remembered my favorite order from Portillo's, a chicken chopped salad with Caesar dressing and a lemon poppy seed muffin.

I have no idea how many calories are in that salad (I haven't eaten it since I was pregnant), much less the homemade dressing and muffin. So I ate (inhaled) it, then I finished off the rest of my husband's burger, half of my MIL's muffin, and topped it off with a few large gulps my husband's chocolate cake milkshake.

For my final act of disgusting gluttony, I shoved a pouch of fruit snacks into my my face, because why not? I already fucked up.

Fuck.fuck.fuck. good bye 115.5 lbs.

Second day of bingeing, why can't I get my head on straight? It's like the closer I get to my goal, the more I sabotage myself.

I feel sick and guilty. I was so excited to wear my new casual body con dress to work tomorrow (with a jean jacket, leggings, and over the knee boots), but I might as well wear some baggy ass garbage because I'm going to look like a bloated, fat, sack of shit tomorrow.

I know I need to eat for work because I need the energy, but I just want to fast and then fake eat the dinner my husband makes.

Anything to feel empty again.

FUUUUUCK MY LIFE.

---

[Help] Confliction
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Wed Apr 6 19:33:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dowfs/confliction/
---
Today I have been some what good. I drank black coffee and took my vitamins. I had a salad with oil and vinegar. I had vegetarian chicken and south western quinoa. Bad stuff? A frozen rum runner and half a peach martini with a friend while at the beach. My sister is making BLT wraps. I don't eat meat, but I'm craving too make myself a wrap with avocado and tomato and lettuce.... and I feel so guilty. So guilty. And so hungry. :( I don't really count calories, but I'm still cautious in a way of how much I eat. Idk.

---

Any kik groups to join?
/u/summerlinle
Created: Wed Apr 6 19:33:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dowda/any_kik_groups_to_join/
---
[removed]

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[Goal] I have something really wierd to say
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 19:08:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dosuh/i_have_something_really_wierd_to_say/
---
But if i could ever do anything I wish I could make my rib cage and shoulders smaller. I feel like that's what helps make me look so manly and bulky.

---

[Rant/Rave] I will have eaten so much this week
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Wed Apr 6 17:37:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dog2u/i_will_have_eaten_so_much_this_week/
---
So far I already had a 2400 and a 2800+ (stopped counting) kcal day due to social events and tomorrow I'll have to go to a bbq and will eat a ton and drink a ton of booze, making that day the worst of the three.

On normal days I average 1200 and it really isn't near close to enough for compensating this mess and next day I will have to eat more on other celebrations as well.

I feel like a fat pig and really can't stand all this food any longer, please kill me. :(

How can I ever make up for this if I'm now just at the beginning at the constant eating and partying season where I can't even decline food as people are worried about me eating too little?

Fuck fuck fuck I WILL FUCKING GAIN SO MUCH BACK

---

[Rant/Rave] Some very sad deep thinking today about my life
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 16:54:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4do9n9/some_very_sad_deep_thinking_today_about_my_life/
---
I have no one to talk to right now. I'm on mobile so no flair sorry!
My boyfriend and I had a feelings conversation last night about something he's had on his chest about me and it makes me so sad that he's not satisfied with our relationship right now. He wants me to go see a therapist before he considers marrying me because he wants to make sure I can take care of myself and not go crazy like I have been recently. I have bipolar which makes things a little difficult, and I have back problems. I don't do my back exercises as I should because it's a form of self harm I do because I don't care enough about myself at all. I need to stop all of my self harming through nail biting, not sting about myself etc. before we can go further. He's even offered to help me pay for it. He knows next to nothing about my ED either which I feel he'd be even more disappointed in me for.
And here I was thinking I wish he'd fold the towels a bit better. All of this has caused me to have chocolate today even though I told myself I wanted to see if I could go one day without chocolate.
I want help for my little neuroses I have but I don't care enough to do it and do the work it takes in therapy to fix it. Not for the ED for sure.

Sorry this isn't super related, I just wanted to write that out.


TLDR; depressed and bf wants me to go to a shrink. I didn't think I was such a problem.

---

[Goal] Yall wanna know what makes me fat?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 16:35:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4do6xm/yall_wanna_know_what_makes_me_fat/
---
https://imgur.com/x8ZfyND my dessert! Haha. Good spirits today. I added my binge from last night, that puts me over, but I plan to pace a lot. Without adding last night's binge, I've only have 4 pieces of shrimp sushi, a 270 cal amys burrito, and a bit of popcorn. Yay. Cheat day ish.

---

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Using his hands as a unit of measurement
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 16:20:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4do4nf/thinspo_using_his_hands_as_a_unit_of_measurement/
---
http://i.imgur.com/I4vOazh.jpg

---

[Rant/Rave] My legs burn and I love it
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Apr 6 16:13:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4do3hq/my_legs_burn_and_i_love_it/
---
Recently I fell in love with exersise. I walk for at least 2 hours everyday and I do 100 sit-ups and a 1 minute 30 second plank thrown in. I'll increase the reps and times as I get stronger. My body aches and it feels so good...like I can feel myself getting thinner. Soon my 15-inch thighs will be 12 inch thighs. Soon I'll have my thigh gap and hipbones back.

---

[Help] My horse show got cancelled :(
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 16:10:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4do327/my_horse_show_got_cancelled/
---
It's going to rain heavily this weekend so the show has been cancelled. My mom and her boyfriend are supposed to be flying down for it. I texted my mom saying it got cancelled and she hasn't replied. I don't know if she'll still come if it's cancelled, but I'm 80% sure she'll still come.

ED wise, this will take a huge toll on me. I already was expecting that I'd eat a lot since my mom will be here cooking and stuff, but now that I'm not showing, I'll be spending more time with her and her boyfriend, meaning it'll be almost impossible to skip out on meals. My initial plan when the show was still on was to say I'm too nervous in the morning to eat breakfast, hang out at the show and not eat while her and her boyfriend go out and do stuff in the afternoon, then pick at whatever dinner she makes.

But now I'll be around them for all 3 meals. Sigh. I feel like such a horrible person for being upset about having my wonderful, loving mother around for 4 days.

I'm particularly worried about the first meal I'll have with them. I haven't had an actual meal in over 2 weeks so I don't know how my body will respond. If I get sick from it, my mom will be highly suspicious about how I've been eating lately. It doesn't help that she'll see I've lost weight and already be suspicious about that.

Have any of you experienced any physical issues with eating a meal after restricting for a long time?

---

[Discussion] What body goals do you have other than losing weight?
/u/k8ielol [5'2" | 150 | 27 | F |]
Created: Wed Apr 6 15:52:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4do05g/what_body_goals_do_you_have_other_than_losing/
---
I was a little inspired by the Q & A about beauty today, and I was wondering if anyone else has more body goals than just losing weight? I'd love to find people who focus on other health aspects to talk to in the same way we can talk here. While it might be a little off topic, I think sharing would be fun and I hope that's ok. Mine's below!

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[Rant/Rave] Plateau broken!!
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Apr 6 15:13:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dnu0p/plateau_broken/
---
I broke my plateau! I'd been stuck at 92 pounds for *weeks* but today I stepped on the scale and I'm down to 90! Just 7 more pounds to go. All I had to do was pace constantly in addition to restriction. I got off my fat ass and now it's less fat😌 Fuck yeah.

7 pounds in 5 weeks. That's what I have to do to be perfect by the time I go to L.A. Just A little more than a pound a week. I can do that. I know I can. I have to.

I just have to stay motivated. I know I can.

I will have my bikini body back! I'll be just as beautiful (well, a little less beautiful. 5 pounds less beautiful. Have to stay above hospital criteria) and I will be sexy and perfect and *in love with myself* again. I'll love myself again...I can't wait!

Yessss!

---

[Rant/Rave] Fasting
/u/JekllyLovesHyde [5'6'' | 112.4| 18.22 | -4 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 15:08:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dnt6q/fasting/
---
For the first time I've completed a fast longer than 24 hrs (43 hours). I've never done one longer than a day and now I want to fast for longer next time, I'm actually a bit excited for my next one.

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[Rant/Rave] prom
/u/crapbeg
Created: Wed Apr 6 12:06:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dmyzj/prom/
---
so everyone's looking for prom dresses and talking about what they're going to wear and it's horrible. i just keep thinking about how awful i'm going to look and how much better everyone else will look than i will. i know it doesn't mean much at the end of the day - i don't see prom as a huge deal - but it just sucks watching everyone else be able to pick dresses without worrying so much.

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[Rant/Rave] I think I had a breakthrough with food cravings
/u/weightliftingwaif [5'2.5" | 111.8lbs | 20.76| 2lbs]
Created: Wed Apr 6 11:43:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dmux0/i_think_i_had_a_breakthrough_with_food_cravings/
---
I was in Texas for the past few days and without a scale or kitchen I managed to drop about a pound of weight. I had planned to change up my eating schedule (no food after 3pm) when I came home, but found it was easy to follow while I was away because we were busy during regular dinner times. Night time is always the hardest for me cravings-wise, so if I can avoid eating at night completely I think I will be able to stay binge free.

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[Discussion] for those of you with body dysmorphia, what do you wear on a daily basis?
/u/darkblueplates [5'5" | 90.4 | 15.24 | GW: 79 LW: 89 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 11:22:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dmrg3/for_those_of_you_with_body_dysmorphia_what_do_you/
---
because of my body dysmorphia i always need to wear baggy clothes to "conceal" my body. how about you? how do you feel about leggings or skinny jeans? what's your opinion on baggy pants? i just want to see whether the majority wear skinny jeans over baggy pants and what their reason for that is. thanks!

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[Discussion] can we have an 'about me' thread?
/u/sunflowerfairy [4'11" | no goal weight; nothing will ever be good enough.]
Created: Wed Apr 6 10:43:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dmkvq/can_we_have_an_about_me_thread/
---
i thought it would be cool to have a thread where we could get to know a bit more about each other, so here goes nothing.


**username/name:**


**nationality:**


**age:**


**hobbies/what you like to do in your free time:**


**pic:**


i'll start off in the comments.

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[Goal] I've been pretty low lately
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 10:43:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dmkrw/ive_been_pretty_low_lately/
---
And I don't trust my scale. I've been doing risky shit. And binging more than usual. I keep tacking that binge on as breakfast and skipping breakfast but then I fucking wind up binging again. I don't really know what to do with myself. On the upside I have been motivated to get off by butt a lot more. I don't sit down to read, I pace. I get up at the office whenever I can. I take my toddler outside and move a such as possible. The swing set is where I just flex my muscles and read a book haha. Just rambling. Yall have a good day (:

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[Rant/Rave] I don't feel that smart right now
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 10:24:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dmhoc/i_dont_feel_that_smart_right_now/
---
Only now I realised one other reason why my recent weightloss has been so slow. My TDEE is a "bit" lower than it was 30 pounds ago -I haven't thought about that at all really. Like I didn't know anything about losing weight...

But now, even with exercise, my TDEE is about 1500. So if I eat 500 kcals and count 1000 kcals from one binge/purge, I only maintain. Really clarifies why b/p is so bad for weightloss, it's really a wonder I've been losing anything at all.

But well, with this realization I have to be more careful what I eat on b/p days and hopefully cut down on binging and purging. I know I'm always saying that, hope someday I really will.

---

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Apr 6 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dmdxx/daily_food_diary_april_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] Bad, neutral, and good news.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 09:54:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dmckc/bad_neutral_and_good_news/
---
bad: I stayed home from work yesterday because babyman had an epic meltdown, which prevented me from catching the train. I thought he was sick, or perhaps a new tooth was emerging. Nope, he was just being a cheeky trollbaby and was fine for the rest of the day. Initially I was in control, and on track to only consume 1300 cals. Then dinner happened and I ended the day at 2100-ish cals. FUCK.

neutral: despite my 'binge', I'm still 115.5 lbs. Neither up nor down, which is good in a way (no effect from the binge, yay!), yet sucky because I feel like my momentum is stalling (booo).

good: My size 5 jeans no longer fit, my size 3 jeans (which have languished in the back of my wardrobe, unworn, for years) are baggy, and my new F21 size 26 high rise jeans fit perfectly.

I'm kind of worried that once I hit 110lbs (my ultimate, ultimate GW) *none* of my clothes (including new purchases) will fit. This morning I was going to wear a low back peplum top, but realized the waist was unattractively baggy. Hm, I might have screwed myself. lol oh, first world problems.

ETA: This has been bothering me since yesterday so instead of creating a new post, I'm just going to tack it on here. So yesterday my husband and I were discussing the chubbiness and fat legs of babyman; I had mentioned that I was also a chubby baby that had fat legs with endless rolls. My husband then said that when he met me, I had a chubby neck. WHAT THE WHAT. Apparently I had a weird neck roll whenever I looked down and that he noticed it when we started becoming more intimate. At the time, I was 20 years old and around 130lbs. He said it was cute, like baby fat cute, but weird enough that he noticed.

What.The.Fuck. I had a fat neck?!?! That just... it threw me through a loop. No one ever told me I had a fat neck? I always thought my neck was average to unassuming. So...thanks husband, that's just one more fat part of me I'm hyper aware of now. Although to be fair, he redeemed himself and said I don't have a chubby neck anymore. But still...that seed has been planted, damnit. ಠ_ಠ

---

[Discussion] Preplanning a (necessary) minibinge day has helped me reign in my anxiety.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 08:58:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dm3fc/preplanning_a_necessary_minibinge_day_has_helped/
---
This upcoming weekend, my friend is taking me out for an early-birthday day trip. I've been anxious as hell over it because she had a crap ton of food planned. Going out for lunch at a deluxe burger bar (eep) making me a cake (eeeeep) and getting takeout for dinner after so we could drink and have a sleepover (@&#$!!).

So I went ahead in mfp and, for peace of mind, started logging my day ahead of time.

Lunch: i found the menu for the burger place (no nutrition info ofc), but thankfully since it's a build your own type of place, I spent a good while researching each option. Tuna steak burger for me, I guess. I plan to have 452 calories MAX from that.

Dinner: I managed to talk my friend down from take out to a home cooked meal instead, save some money (and calories) so sauteed chicken and veggies it is. (254 calories)

As for the birthday cake, I don't know. I'm not even sure what she's gonna get so I can't bother pre logging it. Ugh. Let's say maybe 300cals for a slice of whatever.

Drinks: sprite zero and vodka (200)

Which means my early-birthday will be ~1200 calories. MAXIMUM. That's still a fucking lot, and part of me knows hey, it's my birthday (kinda) I can splurge a bit and have a burger, have some cake. But I don't want this day to turn into a binge. That'll make it even worse. I still don't like that number for my estimate, but I feel somewhat better knowing an estimate.

God sorry this post is so long. Has anyone else logged a full day ahead of time? Does it work out for you and help you stick to your goal? If you have any experience with this ID love to hear it.

---

[Discussion] Big ol MFP username thread?
/u/jealousweeping [5'3" | 158.2 | 28 | 7lbs | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 08:52:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dm2g1/big_ol_mfp_username_thread/
---
Mine is the same as my username here.

---

[Discussion] Weight lower after drinking a lot and then slowly rises??
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 08:25:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dlyfl/weight_lower_after_drinking_a_lot_and_then_slowly/
---
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. I'm *guessing* it's only water weight and the alcohol dehydrated me and I'm slowly gaining the water weight back, but I drank excessively last weekend. Like a lot, and without eating very much food so I did black out a bit and had a very bad hangover. But monday morning I was down 5 pounds since Friday, and then tuesday morning I was up 2 pounds and today up another 2 pounds. Is this a normal thing after very heavy drinking? (Note, I'm also doing vegetarian keto so the drinks I did have were things like gin and soda water or tequila and low carb marg mix)

---

[Discussion] Eating/tasting food is boring?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Apr 6 08:22:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dlxyh/eatingtasting_food_is_boring/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] How-to for EC stack?
/u/bony_bella [5'3" | 124 | 22 | -12 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 08:07:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dlvr2/howto_for_ec_stack/
---
Hi all - newbie here, so do forgive me if I inadvertently violate some reddiquette or whatnot :P I've been reading up on EC stacks and would really like to give it a try, but I've never done it before and have a couple of questions:

1. What's the best way to start taking an EC stack? (dosage, tips etc.)

2. Where can I buy components for an EC stack?

Ok, that's all for now! Thanks guys ^_^

---

[Rant/Rave] Didn't purge today for the first time in two weeks :(
/u/Itsemurha
Created: Wed Apr 6 07:30:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dlqj4/didnt_purge_today_for_the_first_time_in_two_weeks/
---
I've had a real rough time lately with a change in antidepressants which apparently makes me want to eat til I feel like my stomach will rip and cry uncontrollably. Checked the scale today and I was down 2.5 kg even though I swear I should be up at least 5 considering how much i have been eating. I don't trust it at all I hate this anxiety I'm so tired and weak. Ate so much today, tried to purge and my throat started bleeding again so I just sat by the toilet bawling for a good hour. Hate this shit :(

---

[Rant/Rave] Bad Morning
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 07:14:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dlodh/bad_morning/
---
Not ED related, I just need to vent. Today is my husband's only day off this week. He's working a lot and today was the only day he would be with me in the morning with our toddler. He stayed up late playing video games last night and didn't wake up with us. I finally woke him up an hour later, slightly annoyed. I told him I was sorry for being short with him this morning, but our daughter got up an hour and a half earlier than normal, so this morning was a huge disappointment. What was supposed to be a much needed break turned out to be a worse morning than normal. He proceeds to go off on me in front of our toddler. I had already apologized, and he still hasn't. I'm done today. I normally pretend to eat normally when he's home, but I have no more fucks to give today. I'm not going to eat the rest of the day.

---

[Rant/Rave] so.. I got hit by a motorcycle today.
/u/queencactus [5'8/173cm | 143lbs/65kg | 21 | -59lbs/27kg) | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 06:53:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dllfw/so_i_got_hit_by_a_motorcycle_today/
---
how does this relate to proED, you say? well, my friends, gather 'round to see the wonderful, the amazing.. QUEENCACTUS'S FIRST BINGE!

(seriously though, I was so in shock that I didn't notice me eating _1000_ calories worth of pasta. I wish I was kidding)

(also it sounds worse than it is, the whole motorcycle thing - the driver actually ended up worse for wear. human (me) versus motorcycle = I WON!)

---

[Discussion] Phantom muffin top and a long day ahead of me.
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 06:37:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dljk8/phantom_muffin_top_and_a_long_day_ahead_of_me/
---
I recently saw the underside of 115 lbs this morning. I still have a high BF % but have slimmed down enough to fit into my (US) size 4 jeans again. I keep having the feeling of my gross stomach spilling over the sides like it used to. I constantly, nervously touch my waistband to check the muffin top is gone. It is, but I swear I can feel it jiggle. Anyone else experience this? It's really unsettling.

Also, got to work today and realized I left ALL my vitamins, including my EC stack, at home. Looks like I'm gonna have to education the hell out of my students today and hope to keep myself distracted. Wish me luck.

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[Rant/Rave] Couldn't resist binging last night :(
/u/etizbabe [5'6" | 126 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Wed Apr 6 04:05:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dl4b9/couldnt_resist_binging_last_night/
---
I held off the urge about 3 times and nibbled on plain rice cakes instead lol. Then I gave in and ate a whole container of full fat cottage cheese with chives (yummy but v high in Cals) with a ton of rice cakes then I moved on to bread and cheese. Went to bed so uncomfortable, took some Gaviscon and went to sleep. Skipped breakfast this morning for obvious reasons 😑 So ashamed about my lack of control especially at night.

---

[Help] Feeling scared can anyone relate?
/u/Sofa_king_fake
Created: Wed Apr 6 04:04:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dl467/feeling_scared_can_anyone_relate/
---
Today I weighed myself and I felt an all time weight low. I am just a teeny bit over 100 pounds.

It scared me a bit and I finally ate today and didn't purge (I don't binge just purge). I don't want to gain but the low numbers are frightening.

Does anyone else feel like this?

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[Rant/Rave] BMI vs BF
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 5 23:35:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dkgc6/bmi_vs_bf/
---
[deleted]

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[Intro] Intro
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 5 20:58:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djyee/intro/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I'm a horrible person.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 5 20:14:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djsc8/im_a_horrible_person/
---
[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] I don't know if I can recover...
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 20:10:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djrvy/i_dont_know_if_i_can_recover/
---
8 weeks ago I went into inpatient treatment and I started group therapy 5 weeks ago. But I don't know if I can recover. I'm eating everything I should be, everyone says that I'm doing great. But I feel horrible, my depression is really bad, I'm selfharming and I've gotten so big. I'm the biggest I've ever been in my life. My suicidal thoughts are through the roof, and starving myself is the only way I'm brave enough to kill myself. I was so close to being perfect and dead.

I don't know if I can do this anymore, but everyone would be so disappointed with me if I stopped. I just don't know what to do anymore.

---

[Goal] I'm so proud of myself right now
/u/silverturtle [5'2" | 113 | 20.7 | -17 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 19:50:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djoym/im_so_proud_of_myself_right_now/
---
I was taking the first few bites of a lasagna that I was planning to binge on when I stopped and realized that I didn't want to go down that road. I've never done that before and I'm so goddamn happy right now because now I don't have to purge. :)

---

[Rant/Rave] Didn't count calories today
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 19:33:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djmg1/didnt_count_calories_today/
---
I feel really conflicted. I talked to a friend who has had/has an ED and she was concerned. Today I was so tired from stopping myself from eating that I ate. And Idk if I should call it a binge or not, because I ate probably a normal calorie level for a day for a normal person, but I feel sick and full. I purposefully didn't count the calories because I didn't want to stress myself out but I don't see how I'm going to do it tomorrow. I think I'm just going to have black coffee, maybe a banana. I can't keep it up.

I'm also worried because I'm going out for dinner and drinks and whenever I eat more than I have been, my body rejects the food. If I don't eat enough over the next few days, I'm going to get sick while I'm out with them and that's just not going to be good.

Also my friend found a razor blade in my desk and I had to lie my way out of that one!!

So all in all I'm not sure what today was.

---

[Discussion] Do you have any recent motivations?
/u/kanjicolossus [5'6 | 74,4kg | 26,05 | -5,6 | M]
Created: Tue Apr 5 19:17:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djk64/do_you_have_any_recent_motivations/
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I'm doing a study abroad this summer in Japan for six weeks of intensive language classes, so beforehand I'm trying my best to lose weight. I'm determined to not only NOT be the fattest person in any given room or train, but I really want to be able to buy some interesting new clothes while I'm there, and Japanese people are some of the thinnest people in the world, so I have a lot to live up to.

Is there anything you're working especially hard toward lately?

---

[Discussion] Do you have a frenemy that doesn't know they're encouraging you?
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 18:48:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djg47/do_you_have_a_frenemy_that_doesnt_know_theyre/
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I live a long way from my friends, and communicate via email every day with them. One of my friends often asks me about how my weight is going, and talks about her own weight. But she only wants to hear about my failures. Any successes will be met with silence and glossed over like she never asked the question, while gains or binges are examined in detail.

She doesn't know how much it motivates me every time she ignores my triumphs :)

---

Hobbies when I am pregnant?
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 18:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djdo4/hobbies_when_i_am_pregnant/
---
I will hopefully be pregnant in a few weeks, which means no purging, restricting, or drinking. I don't have any other hobbies. My husband is going to start working on side development projects after work, and I'm at a loss for what to do. I don't really enjoy things. I will likely start reading more, but that's all I've got. I don't enjoy cooking, but maybe I could try that again.

I also have no idea how I'm going to deal with my anxiety when I don't have my ED or alcohol. I've tried coloring, knitting, and making jewelry, but those don't even come close to helping.

Any advice is welcome.

---

[Intro] I want to be THAT girl
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 5 18:19:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djby8/i_want_to_be_that_girl/
---
[deleted]

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[Help] Going to grandma's tomorrow
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Tue Apr 5 18:08:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4djada/going_to_grandmas_tomorrow/
---
Ya'll. Tomorrow I'm going to my grandma's and I know she has monster cookies. Aka my favorite cookies ever. They are cookies that have peanut butter, chocolate chips and M&MS. I have no idea what to do!!
I'm honestly so stressed over it. I usually allow myself one cheat day, to keep my mental health up, but later that night I'm getting dinner with my dad and I know he will want to get dessert. Ya'll, please give me advice or words of encouragement. :'(

---

[Discussion] Anybody over 23 years old? I think age is hurting my metabolism!
/u/Bettybarebones [5'6"| 151.5 | ZERO | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 18:01:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dj9c2/anybody_over_23_years_old_i_think_age_is_hurting/
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At 19 yo, I went from 149 pounds to 106, hung out at 20 around 119 pounds, then got back up to 130 at 22 yo. This year, I'm 24 and can't get below 151.5!!!! I've been dieting and exercising for MONTHS. I ballooned up from 140 to 150 after getting sick, getting a boyfriend, and stopping working out. This was over six months ago and I've been trying hard as hell for at least 4 months now. I haven't lost a single pound.

Younger me would have lost a pound or more A DAY doing what I'm doing now. The way I'm doing now I should be losing at the very least a pound a week. But no! NOT ONE POUND LOST IN LITERALLY MONTHS. What gives!?!?!?!?!

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[Help] feeling horrible lately...any advice?
/u/jhoio
Created: Tue Apr 5 17:03:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dj0tk/feeling_horrible_latelyany_advice/
---
lately ive been doing nothing but binging on food, stuff i do even want, especially high cal food. i haven't been able to stick to a calorie limit in the past 5 days either. i know ive gained but i cant even check my weight because my scale is broken. i feel fatter than ever, my stomach looks like its gotten x100 bigger. the only reason why im not purging like usual is because my teeth are screwed u up from it and im trying to cold turkey from it. any advice? has anyone else gone on eating binges where you dont even want the food?

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[Rant/Rave] I can't go below 77 pounds
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Tue Apr 5 16:30:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4divqt/i_cant_go_below_77_pounds/
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77 pounds is the weight I would have to be below for a hospital to take me and for insurance to cover it.

77 pounds is the weight my parents could force me back into a hospital.

It's beyond frustrating. I just want to be a 70 pound goddess again but I can't because of that.

It's ripe bullshit.

*SIGH*

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[Rant/Rave] Just need to vent
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 16:25:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4diuye/just_need_to_vent/
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First of all, despite the negativity I'm about to unleash, there's no need to worry about me. I am fine, I will be fine, I have a good therapist and a good support system. I'm not going to harm myself. I'm not going to disappear from this sub randomly and leave you wondering about what happened to me. I'm not looking for sympathy or attention, I just need to ramble and I know I can do that here.

That said, I feel like fucking shit. I feel stupid for feeling like shit because there are lots of anorexics who are much harder on their bodies than I am on mine. My period hasn't even stopped. I don't have lanugo (sp?). I've never fainted. I eat a lot of food and meet all of my nutrition goals. So why am I such a fucking mess? Why am I not strong enough to be able to deal with this? Please don't take this as me digging for you to affirm that I'm unhealthy, that's not what this is, part of me knows that I'm unhealthy but these thoughts just keep persisting anyways.

This morning I was 87.6. I can't believe it. I don't even know how that happened. I've been eating so much... more than 1200 calories a day of nutritious food. I don't look skinny. I hate my body more than ever. When I look in a mirror I can't believe how ugly I am and I want to cut all of the fat off. I feel nauseous all the time. I hate everything about myself. My heart keeps fluttering and I'm terrified that I'm going to have heart failure. My hair is falling out. I'm covered in bruises. My brain doesn't work, I can't process thoughts, everything is just foggy. There's nothing actually wrong with me yet I feel like my whole body is failing. I don't have the energy to get out of bed anymore. I haven't done anything meaningful in *years*. I stay up all night and sleep all day. I have no appetite. Food disgusts me. I cry all the time for no reason. I'm wasting my life. I keep thinking about wanting to die, even though I have no intention of committing suicide (seriously, I am not going to hurt myself, if I really feel like I'm in danger I will call my therapist). I'm lonely but I can't stand to be around people. I feel like I'm going to faint every time I stand up for more than 3 minutes. I want to text my only friend and tell her what's going on and I want her to come over and hug me, but I'm too embarrassed. I was supposed to be getting better, not worse. I'm a burden on my parents and society.

I don't know how much of this, if any, is actually due to my low weight. Maybe it's psychosomatic. Maybe I'm confusing cause and effect. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go back to the way things were before I started losing weight. I wasn't happy then either. I just want to be less alone. I want to have energy. I want to be the kind of person who goes to parties and goes on bike rides and goes camping. But I feel so numb and so empty and weak. Every day is exactly the same. I'm so tired.

I can't even write this stupid post. All of this is just platitudes, I can't even properly express what I'm feeling or thinking or experiencing, so this is just a string of generalized, needy, short sentences. I don't have words. Maybe you can give me better words for how I feel.

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[Discussion] So, uh...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 5 15:06:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dii3p/so_uh/
---
I'm a month and a half away from returning to the US, and recently I've really been craving Taco Bell. I was imagining what I would order if I were to go and then got really worried over calorie count of all the foods I used to order. Turns out Taco Bell has all of that on their website. I ended up making a spreadsheet of their lower calorie foods, and set it up so I could determine the overall calorie count and price for different combinations.


So upon my return, I can plan ahead quickly and prepare my mini binge without issue.


Does anyone else do stuff like this? Maybe I'm just too obsessed with food, I'm currently working on another for Mcdonalds instead of studying...

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[Discussion] 16 hours into a 24 hour fast! Just thought I'd share what's been helping me.
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 141 lbs | -10 | GW 115 | 22.76 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 14:29:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dic6r/16_hours_into_a_24_hour_fast_just_thought_id/
---
I started my fast at midnight yesterday, and I'm 2/3 of the way done. I just thought I'd take a moment to celebrate and share what's been helping me through all of this today, also to kind of journal and remind myself that I've made it sooo far:


Binge on some kind of media instead!: I was a binging fool over the weekend, and I just had this moment where I realized I kind of do things to the point that I can't anymore. So I decided to channel it elsewhere. I binge-watched season 3 of American Horror Story until I got bored, plus Emma Roberts and Taissa Farmiga being so thin and beautiful really motivates me. I also sketched until I felt like I couldn't. So I was binging on these things until I was "full", but instead of food, it was something that I could feel accomplished afterwards.


I used to chain-smoke and vaping has really been helping me this month not only for addiction reasons, but because there's so many great flavors! Right now I have Boba Tea, Coconut, and Raspberry Lemonade flavor. They sell so many different flavors, so if you're a smoker and nicotine helps you fight cravings, I really recommend it. I'd actually end up binging when I smoked cigs to get the taste out of my mouth so this is honestly a great alternative for me.


When I feel myself get grumpy towards others, I just take a moment to remember that I'm doing this for a better more beautiful self, and behavior towards others reflects that. I got into an argument with my Mom because I was a little grumpy, but after I showered and took a moment to cool off, I reflected on what I was doing and leaving behind. So I went back and asked her if she needed help around the house because I needed something to do anyway. I ended up washing a few things for her and we were both happier in the end.


Miyazaki movies!!! Spring time is the best time for Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Ponyo etc. Beautiful art, beautiful people, beautiful stories. It's a great distraction, and I guarantee you'll feel 10x better than you did before watching.


I wrote this more because I'm proud of myself, but I hope this helps someone. Also if you're starting a fast, or are in the same place as me, or even a veteran, feel free to comment! The first 4 hours were the worst for me because I had just woken up and I craved food soooo bad. I didn't use EC stacks but I did take a multivitamin, 2 fish oil tablets(not sure about the concrete benefits of this one), as well as drank a lot of tea. I've come so far and I'm gonna make it through this!

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[Rant/Rave] just need to get this out of my system
/u/CrossedKing [6'2" | 160 | 20.5 | 0 | M |GW:130 ]
Created: Tue Apr 5 13:54:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4di6a5/just_need_to_get_this_out_of_my_system/
---
[removed]

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[Goal] Trying something new to break the binge cycle
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Apr 5 13:21:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4di0pp/trying_something_new_to_break_the_binge_cycle/
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My new rule for the day after binging: My calorie limit is 1200. I usually restrict to 800 or lower but after binging I'm so tempted to fast to make up for it. It always ends in worse binges. I'm just not the type of person who can fast for effective weight loss and that's OK!

I hope that by raising my calorie limit the day after a binge, I can break the cycle of feeling out of control. I know that I can eat under 1200 easily, so it's more of a mental game than anything.

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[Tip] [Tip] Alternative to Shirataki Noodles (konjac yam): Kelp Noodles
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 12:28:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dhrpf/tip_alternative_to_shirataki_noodles_konjac_yam/
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http://i.imgur.com/U4yoTPy.jpg

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[Intro] My Journey
/u/ProbablyInspiration
Created: Tue Apr 5 11:58:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dhmnv/my_journey/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] If I kill myself over this binge...
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 11:55:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dhm43/if_i_kill_myself_over_this_binge/
---
Then I'll probably be the first person on Earth to die from eating too much apple butter. #EDshowerthoughts

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[Intro] New here.....hello.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 5 11:04:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dhdan/new_herehello/
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Hi! I hope I'm doing this right?

I was first diagnosed with AN back in 2013 where I went from 217lbs-108lbs in less than a year. I went to residential, then PHP and have been outpatient for a few years.

I have been fighting SO HARD in recovery and it has been 3 years of a roller coaster. I am terrified and having a hard time finding any motivation.

Two months ago I was hospitalized with an infection and lost a lot of weight, when I left I was about 136 after not eating for about six days while I was there.

Since then I have been into hard restriction and hovering around 140, which felt good at the time, but I wanted it to be less...my dietitian (who I've since dropped) wanted me to do an intake for more care. Last week my PCP said the same thing (even though I'm at a wicked high weight) so today we have a call scheduled with my therapist and PCP.......

Since a weekend of normalized eating (and potential pms?) has brought my weight up to 152.8 yesterday, I am miserable and wanting to die. I was afraid to weigh myself, I should have been.

I feel disgusting. I have spent hours on this sub after being an active member of a recovery sub. I am so tired and it feels so comforting to be back around people who want to lose weight...

I ended up over-eating last night (popcorn and a meal of vegetables, mashed potatoes and chicken) after such a strong restriction day due to smoking, but now my weed is gone... I took laxatives yesterday and purged after eating.

I welcome any tips. I am not usually a 'high end restriction' person, but am seeing tons of posts about eating 800 calories and still losing weight.

I want to start experimenting again and find a way to regain some sense of control and comfort in my size, not disgust, shame and hate.

So....hi.

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[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Apr 5 10:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dh2o8/daily_food_diary_april_05_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

---

[Rant/Rave] Feel so out of control
/u/elliewh94 [5"6' | 149lbs | 24.15 | -10lbs| F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 09:07:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dgthj/feel_so_out_of_control/
---
I've had to live at home the last 3 (going on 4) weeks with Easter break and feeling too anxious to do any uni work, I definitely needed to come home. So, it's been a positive step for my uni work and i'm getting a lot done. BUT for the last 2 weeks i've been uncontrollably binge eating. I'm logging everything and it makes me feel so out of control. I feel disgusted with myself and i'm reversing the hard work i'd put in to lose the weight i gained from my binges in November. I'm just hoping that after this final year of uni I will be able to finally have some sense of control over myself again. I cant even exercise at home as often as I would like :/ and there is no chance of doing my strength training as i'm too far away from my nearest gym.

On the bright side, my bf did take me to his gym when he could last week and i've hit a new pb bench (still weak) and squat (70kg so i'm happy with that!).

Anyone else been through this? It makes me cry but I cant talk to anyone else about it. I'm gonna try to stick to some high-cal (800 -1200 kcal) restriction the rest of this week and hopefully will be able to manage this and then maybe start restricting more.

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[Rant/Rave] Why do I do this.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 08:57:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dgrtc/why_do_i_do_this/
---
Ugh. I'm really struggling to break the cycle of binging. The binges are small, but they completely represent a lack of power and control and they are keeping me at maintenance when more than anything I want to lose 10 more pounds (I'm currently about 121lbs ugh I can't bring myself to change my flair). Yesterday I wrote in my food journal a bunch of thoughts and inspirational ways to stay on track (or Atleast make my mini binges nutrient dense foods and NOT sweets that leave me feeling heavy and exhausted). I was feeling inspired and then night time rolls around and....I fucking binge. Just grazing, grabbing a handful of this and a few of these and it fucking adds up. It's not worth it, something comes over me. I'm so sick of it. I need to get back into the swing of it. I want to not feel hunger, I want to eat just because I'm dizzy and know I should, Not in a hungry bingey frantic depressing way. I know what I have to do, so I guess I'm not really asking for advice. Just so frustrated and tired. So fucking tired. I want 10 pounds gone. I'm sick of maintaining.

Edit: on mobile, lots of autocorrect -_-

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[Discussion] what are some good tips to help fight cravings?
/u/sunflowerfairy [4'11" | no goal weight; nothing will ever be good enough.]
Created: Tue Apr 5 08:29:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dgnmn/what_are_some_good_tips_to_help_fight_cravings/
---
i usually just drink a *ton* of water or eat a small bit of cheese whenever i feel particularly hungry (sometimes place soap in my mouth when i'm desperate.) what do you all do?

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[Rant/Rave] After a week I can only call disastrous...
/u/ThroeAwaymeron [5'2" | 121.6 | 23.04 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 07:55:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dgij6/after_a_week_i_can_only_call_disastrous/
---
...I'm still down 2 pounds! I'm so excited, omg. I got on the scale this morning basically accepting I'd have undone all my good work so far, and instead I'm actually down a couple more pounds! I guess I averaged out better than I thought. I could cry. I have a presentation to do today and my confidence just went up...well, about 2 pounds worth.

My BMI is still so high, I do realize... lmao...but I can't help but be happy about this when I thought it was going to be so much worse.

---

[Help] I fear food now
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 07:01:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dgav8/i_fear_food_now/
---
It's really dumb...but Ive been binging so much these past few days that it's just I don't actually trust myself to bring food up to my mouth in a normal manner. I really would like to try resetting with about 1000 calories. But that seems like such a high number, no matter how often i have to remind myself that my tdee will make that almost 1000 cal deficit. Im so scared that if I go in the kitchen I'll just zone out and make food and stuff my face. I learned how to make microwave cakes guys. like full on cakes. in the microwave. in under 5 minutes. fuck. i never want to eat again, but i know i'll get hungry and if i dont do 1000 calories or something like it, i'll binge and just get caught in a cycle

relevant, because apparently there is no middle ground in life:

http://images1.tickld.com/live/6343.jpg

Edit: update, i ate my first safe meal in a week, aka something that i knew i liked, and knew was relatively lowcal. 328 cal scrambled eggs :)

https://imgur.com/NpNmF2a

Then ill stay full for the next 7 hours and have dinner with my dad. Ill go a bit above 1000, but im happy with this

---

[Rant/Rave] Why
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Tue Apr 5 06:54:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dg9xm/why/
---
Why is it that when we hit a goal or have been doing so well and we recognize that, often it sends us into a binge? Went to the doctor the other day Thursday and weighed 114.0... hallelujah. I've been able to maintain this weight and have felt pretty great about myself. But this whole past weekend up until yesterday I've binged and binged and I feel like absolute crap. I'm trying not to beat myself up too much about it and just start new and recognize that binging does not give me any sort of satisfaction.... but I'm so disappointed in myself at the same time.

So as of today, it's black coffee, vitamins and water. If I must eat, then it will be salad and greens and raw vegetables or fruit or fish. And when I get home from work, I'm working out.

Ughhhh. End rant.

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[Goal] It's not a great day
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Apr 5 06:52:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dg9nz/its_not_a_great_day/
---
I ate three pieces of candy and feel guilty, but I finally reached 121 Lb/55 kg and am now by all BMI calculators underweight!

I promised myself a while ago I'd get myself a straightner if I reached it and I just ordered it! Yay, it should be here in a few hours.


Edit; it was also so expensive I can't afford food lol, yay

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fasting partner?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 5 06:32:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dg71d/fasting_partner/
---
[removed]

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[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A April 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Apr 5 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dg3ct/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_april_05_2016/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

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[Rant/Rave] I feel so awful
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 5 05:48:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dg1o2/i_feel_so_awful/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Enjoying Coffee Without a Ton of Sugar
/u/Flufferbutternutter [5'2" | 103 | 19.52 | -37 | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 05:43:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dg16q/enjoying_coffee_without_a_ton_of_sugar/
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I've always taken coffee with about a half a cup of milk and two-three tablespoons if sugar. I need caffeine to function, but holy moly does it ever cut into my daily calorie counts! Well, I've been working on it bit by bit and today I actually enjoyed my morning coffee with .5 tbsp coffee whitener and .5 tsp sugar. Yay! It's not as good as being able to enjoy black coffee but it still means I can have slightly more coffee (sleep deprived mommy) and get some more nutritious food into me.

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[Discussion] Scale dreams
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 05:04:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dfx4s/scale_dreams/
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Am I the only one who dreams of the scale?

I have a recurring dream that I undress, weigh myself and redress only to realize I have no memory of what the scale said. I then undress, weigh and redress dozens of times until I finally wake up, where I then, undress, weight and redress.

If it wasn't based on real life it might actually be comical.

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[Discussion] High volume vegan-friendly safe foods?
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 179 | 28.0 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 03:09:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dfmy1/high_volume_veganfriendly_safe_foods/
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The last period of my life I was restricting heavily, I was a pretty lax vegetarian (still ate jello). The two safe foods from before that I now think about every day are sugar free jello and egg white omelettes. Those two foods just always screamed restriction to me and they'd be the top two things I'd reach for.

Does anyone have any favourite safe foods that are vegan friendly? I feel like all I eat is broccoli and spinach nowadays 😅

(sorry- no flair. On mobile :( )

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[Rant/Rave] Being a part of this community
/u/anordinarypenguin [5'2''|111.8|20.45|-24|F]
Created: Tue Apr 5 00:31:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4df9iy/being_a_part_of_this_community/
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When I first made this account, I felt like such an outsider to this community. I was borderline overweight, ate more than 500 calories a day, and I honestly didn't think I'd be able to communicate with you guys.

Now, I know that this community is about a lot more than being simply "pro ED." This subreddit is about support for those with eating disorders. And this doesn't just include anorexia or bulimia, but EDNOS and even BED!

I felt like I would be judged for my stats. As it turns out, when I was first looking at this subreddit, *I* was judging people for *their* stats.

Now I'm familiar with so many of your usernames that looking at stats is a second thought. I'm genuinely curious how some of you are faring, and concerned if someone's going through a rough patch.

I've never experienced this with any online community before, or any other group of people. I've never been in treatment, however, so perhaps I've missed out on a similar experience.

All in all, though, what I really wanted to say is how much I appreciate you guys. Even if I make a drunken post about how much I hate myself, or make a comment about how humiliating an experience of mine was, I know you guys won't judge me. Rather, you'll give me advice or share your own life experiences.

This is fucking amazing. I feel like I can finally let go of a lot of my ghosts, just by talking to a bunch of random people on some random subreddit.

I don't think of /r/proED as some random subreddit, though. Honestly, you guys are my haven. In my darkest hours, I know that I can always come here for some kindness and support.

All I really wanted to say was; thank you guys for being so fucking fantastic.

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[Intro] Hi, I'm Dasha.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Apr 5 00:10:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4df7hw/hi_im_dasha/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Only telling my bf and my bestf my goal weight
/u/iknowthatface
Created: Mon Apr 4 22:37:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dexl9/only_telling_my_bf_and_my_bestf_my_goal_weight/
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At my worst I was at 276lbs from bingeing. With quitting bingeing, I started keto and when I went off it, I had lost 50lbs to 226lbs. I stayed mostly low carb and compensated my binges with purging, I lost 6-ish lbs and got down to 220lbs. Now I'm back on keto and have lost 17lbs in 2 weeks even though I keep cheating because I'm stupid.

My goal is to get down to 138lbs in a healthy manner, keto. At 138lbs, I will have lost 138lbs. From my boyfriend and my best friend's reactions, people don't think the idea of losing literally half your bodyweight is as cool as it sounds. So I'm not telling anyone else until I get there plus then I don't feel like people are trying to track me. They aren't getting updates. Lol

I'm not sure if anyone can relate but I'm doing it. In my gut I know I can and try to do it in a relatively safe manner. When I was in high school, I went on diet pills and restricted and got down to 140lbs before having an anxiety attack about being sexually attractive to friends so I binged it all back. I used to be really strong and doing that fucked up my muscles. Ultimately I want to get to 138lbs and then exercise back up a little. I've never exercised so we'll see if that happens.

Edit: I have no idea what flair to give this. I'm not really ranting but?

Edit2: Hah, I find it kind of ironic that it's my cakeday and I can't eat cake.

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[Intro] New here intro thingy!
/u/leeloo_12 [5'11 | 143 | 19.31 |-2 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 22:12:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4deuo2/new_here_intro_thingy/
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Hey! I've had my ED on and off for a long time, and have been in recovery for a while but then my life took a turn for the shitty and I'm back. I went from 125 and BMI of 16.88 to where I am now, at 143. My UGW is back to where I was around 120. I went on antideppressants for a while which SERIOUSLY increased my appetite :/ I've been off them for about a month, and cold turkey withdrawls were hell and I'm worried my body has gotten used to eating more?? I want to start restricting again because I miss that feeling of control and strength, but today I caved and ate 1450kcal. Does anyone have any appetite tricks? I'm afraid to go on an EC stack right now.

Thanks for being such a lovely community <3 it's comforting to not feel alone.

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[Help] Do you count oil calories in popcorn?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 21:36:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4deqbb/do_you_count_oil_calories_in_popcorn/
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I would guess so right? Because it latches on to the popcorn kernel? So popcorn isn't really 120 calories but 240?

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[Rant/Rave] Just want to bitch
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 21:31:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4depmw/just_want_to_bitch/
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My struggle with restriction has turned into a full on binge cycle. I can't take ephedrine for the next month (so that I won't test positive for amphetamines) and after next week I'll have to avoid caffeine too. Ephedrine wasn't just a matter of weight loss for me, it was also self-medicating for my ADHD. Since stopping I've felt lethargic and apathetic. I can't motivate myself to do anything except eat and watch Hoarders (lol).

I'm afraid to weigh myself but I think I've probably gained at least 2 lbs. I have three essays due this week and three shorter assignments (including one at 9 AM), and I don't know how I'm going to get any of it done when I feel this way. I'm not even capable of feeling panic or distress -- just a distant, intellectual awareness that I'm messing everything up.

Soon I'll run out of food to binge on, at least ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯

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[Discussion] More prominent looking muscles with weight loss?
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 21:29:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4depce/more_prominent_looking_muscles_with_weight_loss/
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I know I'm way over analyzing my body, but I noticed that my biceps are starting to bulge out. I eat at a deficit, so I know I'm not gaining mass. I try my best to get the recommended amount of protein, and I work an active job (waitress) so I assume I've kept most of my muscle.

I know a little about body recomp, but I thought that happened when you eat at maintenance. Am I right to think I can't be gaining muscle with a calorie deficit? Does my muscle just look bigger in comparison because the rest of my arm is thinner? Has anyone else noticed this?

I'm not sure how I feel about how it looks. Part of me is proud, because I like feeling strong. But I also think it looks bulky and kinda gross.

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[Intro] Hello lovelies!
/u/Will-Run-For-Food [5'3.5" | 138.2 | 24 | -70lb | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 20:38:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4deior/hello_lovelies/
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Hi! I never thought that I would join a community like this again, but here I am. This is also the first time attempting to basic format, so forgive me! I'm 18, from New Zealand and I've lost 70lb in about 2 years.

I've got another account on reddit but I don't want it connected to this sub, mostly because my best friend will freak on me. I've been a lurker for awhile and used to be heavily involved in tumblr' pro-ed side before they started deleting blogs. Once mine was deleted I decided I would try not to find another community but after 4 years of eating disorder behaviour and a recent gain of 8lbs I've set myself some goals and have started a 9 week weight-loss plan.

I've always kept a close eye on my weight since I was 14, I went two days without eating around this time 4 years ago and since then haven't fasted until today. It was for my ex, at the time we were dating and he was moving in with me and my parents and we'd never actually met in person before him moving in and picking him up at the airport. It wasn't until about 2 years ago that it slowly consumed me. Shortly before he broke up with me I started heavily restricting and after he broke up with me it became life. I met my (now) partner a year and a bit ago and since then I've lost about 25lb and we've moved in together so now I control even more of what I eat and now I can fast.

The month of March was really hard food wise. It was a lot of birthday parties, my own birthday and then Easter. 8lb isn't much, but it still freaks me out. My goal for the 5th of May is to be 111lb, exactly 100lbs lost (30lb to lose). It might change, maybe 108 sounds cool, maybe 103. We'll decide when we get there, but for now, welcome on 111!

Today is my first day fasting in years, as I mentioned before and it's going well! I allow myself coffee (with sugar and milk at my parents, splenda and powdered milk at home) diet coke/pepsi max and water on fasting days. I have planned two a week, also vegan weeks (at least 3 weeks are going to be vegan) and normal days I wont go over 550 calories eaten. I will do 20 minutes of tummy targeted cardio Tues-Fri unless it's a fast day and walk/run 30 minutes daily.

I hope to be active in the threads and I hope to reach my goal! It's tough, but worth it. Let me know some tips to last through fasting days, it's currently 2.40pm, I've got a nap planned but I'm not sure how that will go.

Edit: Add me on MFP! Pondering_Coffee!

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[Rant/Rave] Accountability Post (life=mess)
/u/originalRedBull [5'5 | 108 | 18.18| GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 20:22:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4degbl/accountability_post_lifemess/
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Just a heads up, this is mostly for my own accountability, but I needed to share.

So I joined this community almost 10 months ago. I can't believe it has been that long. I've had weird eating/food habits for a lot longer, but when I discovered this place I also found a place for encouragement and strength and positivity. And I really need that now.

I am almost at the SAME place I was freaking 10 months ago when I first joined. 6 pounds lighter, but still. What the fuck. I could have passed my GW and then some, if I had just stayed on track. But I quit my full time job, broke up with my SO and got rejected from my only financially viable grad school option. Throw in some unrelated health issues and I'm barely functional enough to keep myself getting up in the morning, and all my hard work with restricting is just shot to shit.

I've been b/p-ing like crazy, skipping the gym, and just generally being super disgusting and out of control for the past 2 months. I've barely counted calories, just ate/drank whatever and then guilt tripped myself about it for days after. I've done some random days of restriction, and then I'd fuck up and get back to where I started. And after yet another disgusting binge today (and all weekend) I. Am. Done. I can't be this pathetic, awful person anymore.

Generally I don't jump right into a fast after a major lapse of restriction, but I'm doing it. I'm starting with 48 hours, and going from there. Water and coffee and EC stack only. Last time I weighed myself I was like 110, and I'm going to try and give myself a week before I get my weight so I don't get discouraged and come up with more lame-ass excuses. I also took laxatives tonight (I know they aren't magical weight-loss pills but I get weird about feeling empty) so I hopefully won't be as terribly bloated. Also charging and putting my FitBit back on TONIGHT and planning/writing out my gym schedule.

Ugh, I am updating my stats and starting over. I am NOT going to be in the same place I was when I reach my cake day. I wish I had some big day where something awesome was happening to lose by, but I'm just going to focus on getting to my GW by June 2nd (the year-mark of joining this subreddit). That's approx 15 pounds in 2 months. Definitely doable. Having a place to vent like this really, really helps.

This is the start of getting my life (back) together, and I'm not going to fuck up anymore. Hope everyone out there is having a positive night!

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[Goal] I'm at 48 hours into a fast and I have to cook dinner...
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Mon Apr 4 20:14:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4def72/im_at_48_hours_into_a_fast_and_i_have_to_cook/
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I want to eat it so bad. I know this is the start of the hardest 24 hours of the fast, and I'm at the zenith of temptation.

Tell me a story to keep me occupied and my mind of the food I have to cook (kids need to eat).

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[Rant/Rave] I'm frustrated with my BMI
/u/GiveMeASmosh [5''2' | 101.2lb | 18.5 | -13lb | f]
Created: Mon Apr 4 20:11:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4deeuq/im_frustrated_with_my_bmi/
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I have a BMI of 18.5, but for some reason pictures of girls with higher BMI's than me seem to appear skinnier. For instance they have prominent hipbones and very visible ribs while I most definitely do not. I know it's not body dis-morphia either because I've confirmed with friends. It's not that I'm jealous or anything, just frustrated and confused.... sorry to rant.

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[Discussion] One weird trick
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 19:20:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4de7b4/one_weird_trick/
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I always used to feel like binges were a thing that happened TO me, like I was this helpless bystander fighting against a too-powerful force and oh damn I guess I'm doomed to be fat forever.

**Fuck that noise**. I had a huge breakthrough the other week—even in my worst cracked-out binge fugue states there is always a moment when I decide to binge. Not "giving in" to the compulsion, not "letting" the binge win. I was actively *deciding to.*

You guys, it's so much easier to "not decide to binge" than it is to "not binge". It's also easier to "not decide to eat" than it is to "not eat". I've been restricting to ~600/day, with a shitload of working out, for over 10 days without b/ping or bingeing or even going over at all. This is unheard of for me.

Stupid but it's like magic. Crazy how you can trick your brain.

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[Discussion] I'm not trusting nutritional facts!
/u/Darling459
Created: Mon Apr 4 18:59:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4de4f4/im_not_trusting_nutritional_facts/
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I just got a veggie pizza from whole foods. It was in the prepared foods section and it's whole wheat crust sauce cheese and a ton of veggies. The label says its 230 for 2 slices and has 2 serving sizes. So the entire pizza is 460 calories?? I feel like that can't be right!

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[Rant/Rave] I'm really struggling
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 18:55:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4de3tu/im_really_struggling/
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This might sound weird, but I'm really struggling to eat anything. I'm sure a lot of people would think this was the best possible problem ever but it's making me so depressed. I have no energy to do anything, and if I eat I have to go to the gym. I'm just so tired and don't want to do it anymore but I can't make myself eat. All I had today was a banana before running errands and walking everywhere all day.

When I got home I tried to eat dinner but I only had five chickpeas and a teaspoon of peanut butter before I left the kitchen. This is ridiculous. I should be happy that I'm dropping weight but I'm not I just want to be normal and be able to eat food and enjoy it and not be terrified that if I eat more I will gain weight or binge.

Why can't I be normal

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[Rant/Rave] Spending all my money on binge food
/u/LeicesterSquare [1.83 m | 60 kg | 17.92 | M]
Created: Mon Apr 4 17:57:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ddvfr/spending_all_my_money_on_binge_food/
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Ok, at the end of the day I always manage to eat under my TDEE, but I can't keep on eating out like this. Ugh, before I started restricting I'd never buy food anywhere but in supermarkets, but now I can't seem to stop squandering all my money on "treats" which end up being my only caloric intake. I've never been this weak, but I swear to God from tomorrow I'm gonna be in control again.

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[Rant/Rave] I have a scar
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 17:36:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dds79/i_have_a_scar/
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I used to cut myself as a teenager but stopped....it was wierd and i was just so angry. But I cut myself 2 years ago in december, I probably needed stitches and it bled like unholy hell. It got infected, but I couldn't tell anyone. I was so angry that I was so fat as I am now that I tried to cut the fat off. It was chaotic and I don't think I knew of this community nor did i have a soul in this world who understood. I still don't have any friends. I was a bad mother, daughter, and a cheating shitty gf. My self esteem was hidden behind glass after glass of whiskey. My boyfriend kept faith In me, he stuck by me, and I have stepped up more than I ever have. I hate myself for all the time I missed out by being a jack ass. I drink and smoke yes but I don't run away anymore. And i don't hurt myself on purpose (aside from my liver) anymore. and now, the scar is thick but faded and reminds me that when I want to do this again to my stomach ( I am so tempted) , I will lose so much. So much progress. A man. A daughter. My mind. Everything.

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[Rant/Rave] How a binge cycle feels
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 4 17:17:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ddpbl/how_a_binge_cycle_feels/
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[deleted]

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[Goal] Just found out you can see my hipbones through some clothes and needed to share 😱
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Mon Apr 4 15:27:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dd8fm/just_found_out_you_can_see_my_hipbones_through/
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http://imgur.com/xfCq4ox

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[Discussion] Diets/workouts to get lean legs like a ballet dancer?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 4 15:09:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dd5gw/dietsworkouts_to_get_lean_legs_like_a_ballet/
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[deleted]

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[Rant/Rave] Just realized my true motive for losing weight, now I'm sad
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 102.9 lb | 19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 15:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dd4gv/just_realized_my_true_motive_for_losing_weight/
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So I've had a rough past week or two, I've been eating to maintenance daily and binging on candy. That was until I found out that my dad is with my sister at Disney for her spring break (she's in high school, I'm in college, we have different spring breaks) not only without inviting me, but without even telling me.


Eating to maintenance went right out the window, and I'm back to heavy restriction. I remembered what originally triggered my ED: I wanted my parents to notice me.

It's funny, my entire family is obese, so it's not like I'm trying to compete with them or fit into their standards of normalcy. It's just ever since my sister was born in '99 I haven't felt like they've paid attention to me. I've always been the self-sustaining, strong, perfect child.

What I've found today is that every time I want to eat, I think about my family and that urge goes away. Never has anything (visual thinspo, encouraging thoughts, discouraging thoughts, etc) worked this well to quell my hunger. I'm seeing my dad for the first time since Christmas this weekend (I've lost 15 pounds since Christmas and even then he was worried about me being "too skinny") so here's hoping I find what I want.

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[Discussion] Dump Those Shitty SOs!
/u/TakeItOneDayAtATime [5'2" | CW 110 | 20.84 | -3 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 14:41:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dd0xh/dump_those_shitty_sos/
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**TL;DR: If your SO treats your ED with contempt, GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP**

I was writing down some feelings post-binge, and I realized how far I've come since last year, so I thought I should post here and hopefully be a wakeup call to someone.

Around this time last year, I'd been with my ex for nearly two years, and there was this incident where I ordered a couple pizzas for us (to last a few days! I don't plan binges with other people). Then I also impulsively ordered parmesan bites, because those are delicious. The food got to my apartment before my ex did, so I started eating, and before I knew it, I'd eaten the entire box of parmesan bites and I felt so shitty and anxious I started crying.

Obviously this was something he couldn't just ignore, so I ended up confessing that I binge uncontrollably sometimes. I thought he would understand. **He told me I was stupid** and that if I were full I should stop eating. Then **he got mad at me** for not wanting to talk to him about it anymore. He refused to acknowledge he was being insensitive, and **accused me of overreacting**.

There were so many red flags, and this was just one of the ones that stood out. I was stupid and I stuck with him for a few more months, until he ultimately was the one that dumped me. *But since then, I've gotten so much happier*. Now that I don't have to deal with a controlling and manipulative SO, my b/p cycles have been less severe, my eating habits have been better, and I've kept 10 pounds off (although I keep losing/gaining the next 10).

Most of these issues I didn't even realize until after we broke up. I see so many stories about wonderful, caring SOs, but if your SO is less than understanding about your problems, please take a step back and see if that relationship is actually a net positive for you. If not, it might be time to dump his/her ass.

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[Rant/Rave] I feel completely sick and I'm pretty sure I did it to myself.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 14:22:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dcxq1/i_feel_completely_sick_and_im_pretty_sure_i_did/
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I don't know. Fair warning: this post is just me bitching.

I've been restricting pretty tight since Easter (max was 700 cal a day) and EC stacking on top of that for most days.

Today I got a skinny latte and took my pill and went about my day, ran some errands, picked up some pad thai for dinner tonight, etc.

Got home and surprise husband got taco bell for us. Ugh. I told him I didn't want any and he could have mine. I can't say he was too upset, he didn't get me a whole lot so its not like anything was wasted.

Since then I have felt completely and utterly ill. Hot and cold flashing, sweating and shivering, all cramped up, and any time I move or try to stand up I get extremely lightheaded and dizzy and feel like I'm going to throw up.

We were watching TV and seeing other people eat was making me sick.

I drank some water and took a nap and still feel like total shit. And through it all I can't help but wonder if someway somehow I brought this on myself. As if it's a result of tight eating and constantly drugging myself.

Anyways I'm just feeling gross and wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.

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[Rant/Rave] Since I am broke
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 14:21:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dcxez/since_i_am_broke/
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I can't go to the doctor about my eyes until later this week. They look really bad now, like they're bleeding. To be honest they look scarier but all the other symptoms have disappeared. I am going to try so hard to be gentle to myself when I can get my contacts in and see how fat I really am. I hate being blindly nearsighted. My stomach is so bloated. I try to see without glasses but I just see a blob so that def doesn't help self esteem. I'm so scared of how much I fucked up my progress. And I'm scared I've started my way down the purging rabbit hole again. I walk as much as I can, I try to stay moving, but I can't outrun depression and disordered eating. I am feeling close to the end of my rope. As soon as I can truly access the damage I've done, I'll get my head in the game.

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[Goal] Hit my first goal!
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 14:07:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dcv3o/hit_my_first_goal/
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Hello all, hope your Monday is going well for you. Sorry no flair for now since I'm on mobile.
I work at a fine dining restaurant as a chef over the weekends, Sunday is 7:30am to 11:30pm shift. Working on my feet all day and being around food is just so hard sometimes. We snack all day on bites of this and that and have to taste what we make before it goes out. On my off days I usually restrict much more, so that has helped a lot.
I finally hit 155 from 162 in the beginning of last month. The scale has stayed the same for the past few days, so it looks like i get my first prize! I'm getting some shrimp for a tank I've had cycling for over a month and also going to start a jarrarium with a Marimo moss ball, because it's super cute. Can't wait for the next one! Hoping to be in be 140s by the end of the month. Shouldn't be too difficult, but I don't want to over expect and under deliver and give up. Long way to go, but it will be worth it.

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[Rant/Rave] So I ate and ate
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Apr 4 13:44:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dcr1s/so_i_ate_and_ate/
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And ate, and purged, then ate, and ate, and ate, ate, purged, went to the store to get more food, and ate, ate, ate, purged, went to work, ate, ate, ate, went home, ate, ate, ate and purged.


Me this morning: "wow I am officially underweight by BMI standards!! I'm gonna eat only 300 cal to make sure I'm a bit further of the edge of normal."
Me now: "hope I didn't gain the 3 Lb progress I made over the last week" and feeling physically sick because of all the crap I ate.

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[Rant/Rave] 3 day fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Apr 4 13:41:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dcqlk/3_day_fast/
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This is mostly an accountability post. The scale showed 112 lbs today so I let loose and I ate at maintenance, ~1400 kcal, but it was all chocolate biscuits. I'm going to fast from 7 pm today until 7 pm Thursday, only drinking coffee, tea and water.

I bought a dress to wear to a fancy ball and I need to get it tailored on Saturday. I bought it in a UK size 10, but I realize now I should have gotten a 6. I hadn't realized just how much smaller I've gotten until now. I want the seamstress to comment on my size... I just want to keep getting smaller

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[Rant/Rave] Imagine if I hadn't been drinking on weekends, none this weekend compared to the four weeks prior
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 13:41:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dcql2/imagine_if_i_hadnt_been_drinking_on_weekends_none/
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http://imgur.com/KHwy9yj

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[Rant/Rave] I'm a fat gross lard. [vent]
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 13:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dcott/im_a_fat_gross_lard_vent/
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I'm sorry if this isn't relevant but I have nowhere else to turn to and no one else to talk to. I binged today, 2000 calories, it was gross, I felt gross.

My boyfriend and I are long distance and last night we had an intimate Skype session. I told him I was too shy to go on camera so I switched mine off while his stayed on. Well, stuff happened, things were said that made me feel awful, and our goodbye was brief.

I can't shake this feeling off that if I had the confidence to show my naked body to him on camera that he wouldn't have left so quickly and frankly. I feel gross, like a fat fucking buffoon, couldn't stop thinking about the binge. I can't stop being upset. I know it must be ridiculous to see someone be so sad over such a small thing. But I feel like an awful terrible girlfriend for not being able to please him the way he wants me to, all because I'm a fat fuck with saggy skin covered in self harm scars. I hate my body with a passion and I know he would too if he saw it.

it's fucking breaking my heart thinking about it. I feel used and worthless like trash. like a gross ugly sex doll, but maybe not even a sex doll. I just feel awful awful awful. I hate my body I can't stop crying. I feel like restricting so much that I won't eat at all so I'll be skinny and small and not a disgusting piece of lard.

I'm sorry feel free to remove this post if it's stupid and irrelevant. I just wanted to say it but there were no other places that would understand. I don't know if I even make sense anyways.

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[Discussion] What's your average weekly calorie consumption?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 11:52:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dc826/whats_your_average_weekly_calorie_consumption/
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I consume about ~400-500 calories a day. Somedays (aka today), though, I go up to 800-850 and feel super guilty even though I know I shouldn't as some people believe that's too much of deficit already.

I think my average weekly calorie consumption was around ~580 calories. What's yours?

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[Rant/Rave] I'm kind of proud of myself.
/u/jealousweeping [5'3" | 158.2 | 28 | 7lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 11:46:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dc712/im_kind_of_proud_of_myself/
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I know I'm a lot heavier than most of you guys, so I'm sorry if I 'don't count' or something.

But my bulimia has really only made my weight fluctuate in one particular range. While I still really struggle with my relationship with food and have lots of ED behaviors, I've been trying to be more 'normal' and exercise and eat vegetables and, well, NOT make myself vomit, hah.

And I'm limiting how much I weigh myself to once a week. Surprisingly, it's worked. Not including the water weight, I've broke past my lowest weight in that cursed bulimia cycle range thing I used to endure.

If I keep going the way I've been for the past two weeks.... I might be below my lowest teenage weight for the first time in years, by the end of this week.

I'm just a little happy and thought I would celebrate by sharing. I hope you guys have a good day.

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[Help] Ive joined a gym?
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Mon Apr 4 11:20:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dc2sa/ive_joined_a_gym/
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The treadmill and elliptical machines are great! ... but If I use the weightroom should I be attempting to gain muscle? What are your thoughts? Ive been eating 1000 cals a day but now that Im going to the gym ive been feeling mentally unstable. I need advice... :(

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[Rant/Rave] A little bad, a little good
/u/SlamBulkhead
Created: Mon Apr 4 10:53:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dby65/a_little_bad_a_little_good/
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I've found out I control my binge eating much better if I allow myself one day every few weeks to binge guilt free. Today was that day. I ate only about 1000 about bmr, so not so bad for a binge day. But I guess the good news is...it just doesn't hold the same appeal as it used to. I don't feel satisfied, I didn't get much pleasure at all from bingeing. I feel uncomfortably full, the indigestion is just killing me, and I have absolutely zero urge to binge any time in the near future. I'm actually looking forward to restricting again. I'd rather be hungry than full now.

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[Goal] Small Victory: 14 days of continuous restricting
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 10:30:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dbuay/small_victory_14_days_of_continuous_restricting/
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Yesterday was my 14th day of not eating above my calorie limit. I think one day I hit 700 but I was really physically active that day so my net was around 300-400. Restricting and even fasting has become so easy. I still don't think I can fast for more than 36 hours considering how active I am 4 out of 7 days a week, but still.

In February through mid March I was trying to lose weight the healthy way by eating anywhere between 1000 and 1400 calories a day and I hated it. I constantly had cravings and was overall miserable. But now that I'm back to acting like my stupid 14 year old anorexic self, I feel so much better. I don't know why it's so much easier to eat less.

The only cravings I had were yesterday and I actually fasted yesterday. I craved Chipotle in the afternoon because I was hanging out with some people who were eating it. Later on I craved pizza and was *so* close to ordering delivery but I made a cup of coffee and the craving went away.

Anyways, just wanted to share my victory with you guys! Even when I was anorexic as a teenager and made it to my lowest wight (92) I don't think I ever had 14 continuous days of staying at/under my calorie limit. On Wednesday it'll be 17 continuous days and that'll end my streak as my mom and her boyfriend are visiting. I'll probably be eating 1000 calories a day while they're here. She'll be cooking a lot so I can't really track how many calories are in the food aside from the gross underestimation she gives me. 1000 is not horrible, but definitely not as good as 500.

Shout out to all y'all on this sub. And coffee. You the real MVP.

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