Just got fatlogic from my MIL
Created: Sat Aug 6 19:39:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wiul9/just_got_fatlogic_from_my_mil/

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] When someone posts an awful picture of you but you love it cuz your chest bone shows.
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 19:00:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wiph7/rantrave_when_someone_posts_an_awful_picture_of/

[Other] My stupid thoughts
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 18:59:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wipec/my_stupid_thoughts/
"Maybe he'll love me again if I'm skinny."
"Well now you've eaten (insert random shitty food) so let's just binge for the rest of the day."
"You aren't really a changed person, you're just a selfish bitch."
"You use depression as an excuse to be a bitch/eat."
"You don't deserve to be anything since you're such a fat ass."
"He'd never want you, you'll never be good enough for him."
"You should kill yourself, your life will never turn out how you want it anyways."
"You hate food but you still binge, what is wrong with you?"
"When you finally reach your goal weight your boobs will be even saggier than they are now."
"He loved grabbing your boobs and thighs, if he gets back with you then what will he think when he doesn't have much to grab anymore once you're at your goal weight?"
"He knows you're going downhill again, he knows you restrict."
"He thinks you're hideous too."
"You're not loveable, the anxiety and depression are disgusting and off putting."
"You'll never reach your goal weight, you never stop eating."
"You'll never be what you truly want to be."

Sorry for such an awful post. Needed to get it all off my chest. Hope everyone else is having a good day 💖

What clothing only looks good on thin people?
Created: Sat Aug 6 17:28:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wicp5/what_clothing_only_looks_good_on_thin_people/
For me, it's crop tops/halter tops and high waisted shorts. My school starts in a little under two weeks and I'm hoping I can reach my goal weight by then!!! Either that or I can't wear all the cute halter tops I bought ;((

[Help] How to avoid depression/anxiety-triggered binges? Anxious about school and compulsively ate my way through the fridge. Literally felt sick the whole time but couldn't stop.
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 17:22:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wibxa/how_to_avoid_depressionanxietytriggered_binges/
My stomach has been turning and I wanna purge but I can never get it all out. My anxiety was so well controlled this wasn't a problem for the whole sumer, but now I'm nervous again and I hate that it's back. :( :(

[Goal] There's some wiggle room in my shorts!!!
Created: Sat Aug 6 17:07:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi9qo/theres_some_wiggle_room_in_my_shorts/

[Rant/Rave] Just got called fat at the store
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | -50 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 16:49:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi752/just_got_called_fat_at_the_store/
It wasn't as mean as it sounds, she was just trying to tell me where to find cute plus size cloths but God I want to curl up and cry.

[Rant/Rave] Found out what my body problem is!
/u/thin_is_in [5'8 | 115lbs | 17.3 | -35lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 16:44:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi6gb/found_out_what_my_body_problem_is/
OK, not my body problem. One of my many, many body problems. But still, this has been a concern of mine for years, and I thought I was a freak.

I have 'violin hips'.

Google it. It's a revelation. I have a bone structure that other people have, and it's not just because I'm massively fat. I'm so happy!

I'm also really very drunk right now and just want to say I love all you girlies/guy-ies/non-gender-binary-ies so much! Love this place! :)

Lost motivation and everyone around me is against me. So happy to find this subreddit.
Created: Sat Aug 6 16:41:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi5y4/lost_motivation_and_everyone_around_me_is_against/

[Intro] Intro!
/u/sensitive_butt [5'6 | 146.2 | 23.6 | 0]
Created: Sat Aug 6 16:38:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wi5iz/intro/
Hi all! I'm a long time lurker but I'm serious about losing weight. I'm 19 years old, and I've been using food (or lack thereof) as a coping mechanism for depression for several years - either by withholding food for the feeling of control, satisfaction of weight loss, and the cloudy peaceful hunger-brain; or by comforting myself with eating. Obviously I prefer the former strategy;) Thanks for giving me a place to find encouragement and accountability! Let's get tiny, ladies and gents<3

[Other] my brunch this morning! honey chai // yogurt with granola and berries.
/u/okaysivan [5'3" | f | ∞ lbs.]
Created: Sat Aug 6 15:43:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whx6h/my_brunch_this_morning_honey_chai_yogurt_with/

I wanted to introduce myself
/u/twiggin [5'9" | 140 | 20.7 | 0 GW: 120 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 15:26:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whup3/i_wanted_to_introduce_myself/
Hi all,

Currently 5'9", 140 pounds. I've put on 24 pounds since moving within the last two months and oh my has it been a struggle. I just wanted to introduce myself and let all y'all know what an inspiration you are :)

Sorry for the snapchat filter but I just had to share my delicious brunch!
Created: Sat Aug 6 15:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whtw5/sorry_for_the_snapchat_filter_but_i_just_had_to/

[Help] I binged last night, and woke up 2 lbs down. Is this possible?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Sat Aug 6 15:07:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whrzr/i_binged_last_night_and_woke_up_2_lbs_down_is/
I have spent last night post-binge in agony because I was binge free for so long, and I was doing SO well. I woke up feeling uncomfortably full but decided to weigh myself anyway and the scale says I've lost weight.

Is this even possible? Is it just going to show up later? I'm a mess of emotions right now and I don't know what to do.

[Tip] Favorite frozen items?
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 14:44:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whoe5/favorite_frozen_items/
Hi all, I read somewhere recently in addition to my general consumption of peas that peas can be 118kcal for one measly cup.

I personally love cauliflower, which is a stunning 27kcal per one cup (What a crazy difference) along with broccoli, 31kcal per one cup.

Are there any foods out there we should know about that have high calorie counts?

[Help] Cheap, low claorie foods that don't go in the fridge?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | -50 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 14:12:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4whjbv/cheap_low_claorie_foods_that_dont_go_in_the_fridge/
Okay I'm freaking out. I won't have a fridge for days or months and the only thing I eat that doesn't go in the fridge is oatmeal.

My BF has to travel a lot for work so no idea when and what stores I'll have access to. I can't eat sugar free jello or yogurt (favorite lunches) or anything I usually eat for dinner (I cook, divide it up, and eat it later). I won't eat the stuff my BF eats when he can't have a fridge (so. much. peanut butter). We have a small budget for food. I mean I would just fast if I knew it would only be the two days I was originally told but I couldn't keep that up for a month...

My BF is making me feel like shit over this too. He keeps telling me I need to get over it and I'm making myself miserable. I don't know how to just get over it because I'm totally panicking because it affects my food. I'm afraid I can't restrict for an unknown amount of time and I already feel like shit because I've gained weight in the last few months.

Ideas please?

[Help] Anxiety attack last night made me bloat 2 inches around my waist within about ten minutes... WTF?
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Sat Aug 6 13:43:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wheq2/anxiety_attack_last_night_made_me_bloat_2_inches/
Maybe I just never noticed this symptom before because I was so fat for so long, but basically when I finally put my foot down and got tired of being the fattest I'd ever been in my life, my waist was around 36"... some of this was probably bloat from being chronically dehydrated and eating like shit. ("Recovery"... lmao.) Anyway, within about a month (since I started restricting again) I have dropped to just below 33", aiming for at least 26" eventually.

Last night I got an anxiety attack and literally felt myself balloon in my abdomen and face/throat. Partner has been noticing and complimenting me on the weight loss because it is making a huge difference in how I look, and he saw my neck when I pointed it out and could definitely tell I had grown a double chin instantly!!! Does anyone else bloat like crazy when they get anxiety? What do you do to prevent that symptom, if not the anxiety? It felt like my airway was closing off and I honestly believed I was going to die.

The one good thing of all of this is, even though I literally felt like a balloon, I was still an inch smaller than my HW of only a MONTH ago... I can't believe I was able to ignore that weight pressing on me all the time...

EDIT: okay, turns out at least some of the bloating that's sticking around today (about .5") is from my first period in OVER a year (I have a Mirena IUD for 2.5 years)... love it :')

[Other] Kind of proud, kinda disappointed
Created: Sat Aug 6 13:11:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh9vf/kind_of_proud_kinda_disappointed/
Currently at Perkins with a friend and I'm starving for carbs after a night of drinking. I ALMOST got something terrible for me, as lately I've been really good at keeping my overeating at bay and eating pretty healthy and working out and almost decided that I could give myself a cheat day.... and I went with one of their fit breakfasts instead. So I'm kind of proud, but kind of disappointed that I couldn't just let myself enjoy what I really wanted. :(

[Rant/Rave] Adderall
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 13:06:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh923/adderall/
I have ADHD, I am taking Adderall to treat it.

I am not taking it daily, rather... 2-3 times a week. It completely suppresses appetite. When I'm not hungry, it feels impossible to force myself to eat. Why would I put food in my body when I have no desire for it? So I can fast while I'm on it.

Problem is, when I get off the Addy, the next day I'll be starving and uncontrollably binge. Prior to being prescribed Adderall I was being consistent at around 800-1300 calories a day, and losing weight at a slow but maintainable pace.

This hell I'm experiencing right now is two weeks ago weighing in at my lowest weight ever, 111.2, and today, weighing in at 114 because of uncontrollable binging. I am pretty sure the solution is to try to eat more while I'm on Adderall so I eat less when I binge, or maybe to plan more carefully how to eat a shit ton of safe food the days I'm not on it.

Also, I feel like it's cheating. I'm not using willpower to control my weight anymore. I think my disordered eating largely centers around being able to have control over what I put into my body, and I love that. :/ But the Addy is a lifesaver aside from that, so I probably won't stop taking it anytime soon.


[Other] Found this in r/freebies...I know a lot of us buy Quest products (this is free)
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 6 13:06:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh8zu/found_this_in_rfreebiesi_know_a_lot_of_us_buy/

[Help] Gaining muscle/not gaining weight
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 124 GW 119 |19.35 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:42:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh519/gaining_musclenot_gaining_weight/
So I was going to post on r/ fitness or something but I'm pretty sure if they checked my previous posts they wouldn't be as keen to help me so hoping that you wonderful folks can advise.

I want to get to 109-119lbs but I don't want to be flabby. Looking in the mirror today and seeing the cellulite on my butt and my flabby back made me want to cry (shopping for new bras is hideous and resulted in upset and binge - I hate myself and had about 2500 calories so set my self back DAYS) I don't want to be skinny fat.

But I realised that gaining muscle will make me weigh more, which I can't handle. So like how should i do this? Get to my goal weight then try to build muscle but still eat 700 calories so I don't eat at maintenance thus gaining muscle but not weight? Would that work? Or should I start building muscle now as I realise it's a slow process and see what happens? I mean how likely is it that the scale will go up from sit ups, squats and light weights? I plan on doing small work outs at home but also using the machines and weights at the gym 3 times a week

Someone posted a pic last week showing a woman at 140lbs, 122lbs and then 135lbs but with muscle and she looked better than when she was a lower weight with no muscle, so that's the aesthetic I want, just at 119-109lbs rather than the higher weight.

Any help/advice or discussion on what's worked for you when it comes to cellulite and flabby skin.

Sorry I'm on mobile and can't flair

[Help] How to deal with dizziness?
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:41:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh4w0/how_to_deal_with_dizziness/

[Rant/Rave] I don't like how every compliment I receive is so focused on my body
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:32:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wh3ij/i_dont_like_how_every_compliment_i_receive_is_so/
I need to vent, I hope I am not the only one who feels this way but maybe I am.

My boyfriend is aware that I have lost weight and he knows of my disordered eating. I suppose it's noticeable to him but I can't see it. Anyway for the past month whenever he compliments me it is something like

* You are so beautiful and thin!
* My dainty queen, the daintiest of them all
* I love how I can see your ribs, your stomach is so flat
* I love your legs, they are so small!

and so on. And it's nice to hear at first but now it is stressing me out. Every single compliment has something to do with how I look. He never used to compliment me this way, and I don't know if why he started is to help motivate me and make me feel proud of my achievements, or because he genuinely likes me smaller. I wasn't even large to begin with!

I am beginning to associate being loved and beautiful with being thin. If I am not thin or getting thinner, will he still love me? Will I still be his queen? I don't want to get below 100 pounds (at the moment..) because I have been there before and it's miserable for me. But god I am so afraid that if I don't, no one will find me attractive or want to be my friend anymore. I am more than my body and I know that, but do other people?

I'm scared.

[Rant/Rave] Grossed out by people showing (excessive) enjoyment in food?
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:06:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgza0/grossed_out_by_people_showing_excessive_enjoyment/
Recently, with it being summer and so many events involving food, I've noticed something...

I started taking Zoloft at the beginning of the summer and my appetite is nearly 100% gone. My 19.4BMI bf is actively reminding me to eat, versus how I use to do that to him lol. I think my lack of appetite has revealed a weird phobia/trigger thing with people eating.

At a family cook out, I was sitting with some cousins and suddenly I notice they're all.... moaning? Or just making weird noises of enjoyment.
Immediately lost my appetite.

I was sharing a table with people making sex noises over what would soon be plain old shit.


Now, I enjoy the taste of things. I'll say 'yum!' or a simple ' that was good ' after eating, but this full on groaning with enjoyment?

Does anyone else feel really grossed out by how sexualized some people make eating?

[Rant/Rave] I got called fat today.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 12:03:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgyrq/i_got_called_fat_today/
Okay so this is somehow acceptable to say in my culture between family members at reunions or whatever. But Goddamn. That hit me like a fucking fire truck. Because it's simply not true? I haven't been this weight in a while. It's actually going GOOD? But now I've been staring at myself ALL day wondering why I'm pleased with what I see?? Why aren't others? The more this went through me the fatter I seemed to myself. Like I swear to God my clothes FEEL tighter and this morning I felt tiny. Hallo body dysmorphia. Fuck u cousin.

[Help] Fasted yesterday, high kcal today but still light headed??
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:59:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgyal/fasted_yesterday_high_kcal_today_but_still_light/

[Goal] I fit into my goal pants!
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:50:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgwp2/i_fit_into_my_goal_pants/
Back in the beginning of the year I went Zara's for a big end of season sale and got these really cute work pants that were a steal. The catch was they were an xs. I almost fit in them at the time of purchase, but thought if I worked hard they'd eventually fit.

Then the school year happened, application for my doctorate happened, and I gained rather than lost. I was stuck in a plateau of around 121-123. Summer came and I had promo work for my wrestling group where I started to restrict and do yoga/body weight exercises and the lbs started shedding.

Today I'm down to 116 for the first time in a long time and gave them a go...they fit! They're a little tight but I don't have fat hanging over or anything. Just can't go karate kicking or attempting splits. I'm wearing them today at work with a crop top and I'm on cloud 9 =] Hope the rest of you are making strides and hitting your goals too!

[Thinspo] great thinspo. my instagram feed offers some surprise thinspo pretty regularly lately :)
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 128 lbs | 22.40 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:45:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgw0l/great_thinspo_my_instagram_feed_offers_some/

[Discussion] What does eating disordered mean to you?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:38:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wguwn/what_does_eating_disordered_mean_to_you/
A super common theme; always interested in other experiences. I've never had a low enough weight to have external validation of being sick, and I've never sought a diagnosis or treatment, but I've purged for decades and go through phases where the business of living is variously hobbled or totally halted by crippling fear and obsession over weight and food (in my head, anyway). But then I go through phases where I can get along okay-ish and I'm pretty much just a woman vaguely dissatisfied with her body, trying to achieve a non-extreme weight goal (small but not emaciated - I've never wanted to be SUPER thin) via non-extreme intake and exercise (like, daily 1000cal/5k run/yoga) and I'm like...this is pretty much normal cutting behavior? "Healthy", even? My mindset is and will always be a bit harsh/inclined toward black and white thinking and mixing up complicated life + emotional stuff with eating behaviors...but ehhh. Doesn't sound especially problematic to me.

Not trying to unlock an achievement here - eventually I want to get to a place where I put no value, positive or negative, on eating behaviors and can just roll a bit better with whatever I'm doing at the moment without examining it so much. But for now I do still have some weird mental links I can't shake between being dysfunctional/disordered and being interesting...wannabe ED girl feels like the last leftover bit of my angry teenager angst and I want her to die. Once having achieved thinness, of course.

Just looking for perspectives and thoughts. What's the line for you? What made you say "I think I might have an eating disorder"?

[Rant/Rave] My last resort is now my only resort.
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 11:13:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgqr7/my_last_resort_is_now_my_only_resort/
I start EC stacking today. Wish me luck. I gained 3 lbs. Like, actual weight. I can't stop eating. Everything is fucked.

All I want to do is starve and all I can do is eat compulsively.

All this started because I decided to try and maintain. I've been binging ever since. So fuck being reasonable, it never worked before and there's no reason why I should have been stupid enough to think it would work again. My only options are to eat nothing or eat everything. And that is why I'm going to balloon up to obesity. Again. I'll beat my head against the wall until it breaks if that happens again. I can't be a fat fuck again. I can't let it happen. It's already starting. I'm disgusting.

[Rant/Rave] Vacation ups and downs [rant/rave]
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 10:13:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wghcm/vacation_ups_and_downs_rantrave/
Vacation is hard, we all know this. Rich food, thoughtless comments from relatives, bathing suits, and no routine can all add up to make these things rough.

I've spent the last week on a tropical island with relatives, half vacationing and half weathering a hurricane.

The ups:

1. When I arrived all the relatives exclaimed "you lost half of yourself!" "You're so small!" Rather validating. Of course then they asked how I did it and I had to lie, but it was nice to have an honest assessment of myself as smaller.

2. Constant sweat means I'm holding onto almost no water weight and my abs look as good as they can. It's like living in a sauna. 😎

3. The extreme midday heat makes an easy excuse to not eat lunch, and with so many people they don't really notice how much breakfast I eat.

4. Enjoying my sitting-down thigh gap all the time. :D

The downs:

1. Everything we are eating is carbs. Pasta, bread, pancakes, beans, rice, all carbs. I am eating way more than I'm comfortable with because of the rush/crash cycle.

2. I have to wear a bikini like, all the time. 👙

3. My uncle is a photographer with a passion for sneaky candids and I'm paranoid at all times that he's taking unflattering photos.

How are vacations going for you all? I'd love to hear your ups and downs!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 06, 2016
Created: Sat Aug 6 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wgfq2/daily_food_diary_august_06_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Goal] Weigh In: August 5, 2016
Created: Sat Aug 6 09:19:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wg9n6/weigh_in_august_5_2016/
122.2 lbs
Thigh: 20 in
Arm: 10 in
Waist: 25 in

[Discussion] What's your magic number?
/u/YourChinaDoll [5'1" | SW: 169 | CW: 130.4 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 09:13:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wg8ss/whats_your_magic_number/
Whenever I get back down to 132, I find that for some reason people are much nicer to me. Which is weird, because that's still pretty fat for my height. And yesterday I hit 132 again, and bam! My boss told me I looked pretty and I got leered at by a car passing by. Which kind of sucks but I find some sick sense of validation from it. Last time I was under 132, people used to actually smile at me in the gym. Do you find that people are nicer to you when you're under a certain number?

[Goal] Hip bones are coming in! Weird to feel a tinge of body contentment.
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | HW 180 | CW 117 | LW 114.6 | 29 F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 08:36:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wg3gb/hip_bones_are_coming_in_weird_to_feel_a_tinge_of/

[Rant/Rave] Greece Day 1: Got called the "big daughter" (rant)
/u/commtra [5'7 | GW:110 | -11 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 07:37:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfwd9/greece_day_1_got_called_the_big_daughter_rant/
I don't have a laptop with me so I can't add flairs but arrived at the house I'm staying in with my mum, dad, brothers & sister. First thing the lovely house owner lady said to me was, "ohh big daughter" and then to my skinny sister she said, "you're very beautiful!"

Cool so guess who's not eating for 3 days now! Thanks lady.

On my good days I eat well and don't restrict as heavily as I usually do. Today was a good day until the lovely lady triggered all of my bad thoughts back.

She also shoved some turkish delight into me. I want to throw up but there's tons of people around me :~)

She might've also meant that I'm older and taller than my sister and I'm also taller than my mum but my brain sure doesn't see it that way.

[Help] Does anyone else's measurements go up during Shark Week?
/u/lithelife [5'4''| CM: 35-27-39| GM: 33-23-36 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 07:26:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfv44/does_anyone_elses_measurements_go_up_during_shark/
I just got back from two weeks' vacation where I was eating really well; not restricting tons, but definitely below maintenance.

Anyway, I took my measurements when I got home and everything was about a half-inch up. I don't know if I'm just bloated or what -- I always *feel* bigger on my period, but I usually don't measure myself at that time so I don't know if I actually *am* bigger.

Ugh ugh ugh I thought I was doing well :(

[Thinspo] Trying on some pants from high school. These used to be tight...
/u/Hamily [5'4.5" | 91 | 15.62 | -49 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 06:34:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfpni/trying_on_some_pants_from_high_school_these_used/

[Other] My breakfast every day for the past few weeks: one small pear (80) and one fourth cup low fat cottage cheese (90)
Created: Sat Aug 6 06:06:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfmzw/my_breakfast_every_day_for_the_past_few_weeks_one/

[Goal] I've never felt so proud of my body. Only about halfway there, but feeling a sense of accomplishment today :) Thank you all for the constant motivation and encouragement.
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 05:40:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wfkdu/ive_never_felt_so_proud_of_my_body_only_about/

[Rant/Rave] First week of my new plan (basically, eating more) done and I havn't pooped for 5 days.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Aug 6 03:40:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wf9aq/first_week_of_my_new_plan_basically_eating_more/
Okay, so Saturday and Sunday to go, but I have a feeling they'll be like most other Saturdays and Sundays.

TMI time.

Wednesday - Sunday *last* week, I ate at maintenance.. and had awful diarrhoea from Wednesday night onwards. Like, really truly bad. Every time I'd eat, it would set my guts off and I'd rush to the loo. I'd need to go every couple of hours anyway. There was literally no solid mass to what was coming out, except bits undigested food.

The last time I went though (still diarrhoea) was this Monday. Since then I have carried on eating more, though not at maintenance.. but I HAVE NOT POOPED ONCE. NOT ONCE. Okay, so I usually do not go during the week cus of all the fasting and it doesn't usually cause all that much hassle because I don't eat much I guess.. but I thought with eating more, I'd go more? At least still have the diarrhoea?! But no. The extra food I've consumed this week is all sitting on my stomach.. it's bloated and *hard*. Not terribly so I guess, but still so.

I don't want to take laxative meds unless I really have to.. because I know myself. Once I take them, I know I risk latching onto them, and risk a habit.

Any help or advice or explanations appreciated ofc but mostly I just wanted to rant about being a BALL OF GODDAMN POOP.

Smokes, the fat ball of poop.

[Meme/Humor] MRW I'm searching the kitchen for binge food at 4AM but I don't have any cos I ALREADY FUCKING ATE IT ALL
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Sat Aug 6 03:06:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wf6fl/mrw_im_searching_the_kitchen_for_binge_food_at/

Dear lovelies,
Created: Sat Aug 6 03:02:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wf61z/dear_lovelies/

[Other] This is like the first time I hate my ED
Created: Sat Aug 6 02:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wf3e6/this_is_like_the_first_time_i_hate_my_ed/
I'm on a vacation right now. It's a beautiful country, gorgeous weather, bright blue sea and of course delicious food.

Yet I can't seem to want to go out. It's extremely hot and wth, I can't go out in any outfit I brought. I'm with others and I can't go to the beach after breakfast.. I look so bloated. I'm just upset, all I see is fat when I look in the mirror and I'm either eating at maintance or above every day and I know I already gained weight.

This is probably my last vacation in the upcoming four years and I just hate that I can't enjoy it.

[Tip] A really detailed Body Weight Planner tool. So useful!
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 23:40:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wemkr/a_really_detailed_body_weight_planner_tool_so/

Can I be sad to you guys?
Created: Fri Aug 5 23:25:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wekwk/can_i_be_sad_to_you_guys/

[Intro] Intro and impostor feelings
/u/LiamNeesonsMegaCock [5'4'' | CW: 145 lbs | 25.38 | GW: 105 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 23:05:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4weiu2/intro_and_impostor_feelings/
Hey all

I have been lurking for several months and only posting for the past week, but I feel like I need to introduce myself.

I have not been diagnosed with an ED. I have never tried to seek psychological/psychiatric help. I've had...issues with eating and food for a couple years now. I'm really enormous for this community (143 lbs and 5'4"). And I've been this gigantic for over a year, losing and gaining the same ten lbs ad infinitum. I'm just barely into the overweight category by BMI standards.

I can't eat in front of anyone else without terrible anxiety. I have to feign a big breakfast or hide when I think my boss is bringing in sandwiches for the team. I have so many rituals around eating that need to be satisfied every day or I get so anxious and upset. I have a horrible, terrible relationship with carbs that revolves entirely around fear and shame.

I don't know if I have an ED. I feel like it won't matter if I get diagnosed because I know my brain shit isn't normal or healthy. But I don't want to stop because I feel like it's the only thing keeping me from diving into full on obesity.

I lurked on the healthy fitness forums for a while. I tried. I cardioed. I lifted. I did it the healthy way. I know the healthy way is better.

But...I can't relate to those people. I can't relate to people that don't obsess about everything that goes into their bodies. I feel like I've found so much RELIEF in this community. I can relate to you girls and guys so much more than I can anyone else. And I guess that why I'm here.

I dunno the point of this post. I've just never told this all to anyone before. Thanks for listening, and thanks for existing. I adore this community, and have never felt a more supportive online presence for my dysfunction anywhere else. Thanks for making me feel like a person again, /r/proed.

[Goal] success!
Created: Fri Aug 5 23:00:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wei3c/success/
I've had nothing but alcohol to eat today.
It's so much easier to self destruct when you're alone.

[Other] Today's 268 cal lunch
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 22:18:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wedeq/todays_268_cal_lunch/

[Other] A friend just texted me
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Fri Aug 5 21:19:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we64h/a_friend_just_texted_me/
a friend just texted me saying how proud they are of me for going though recovery.


[Other] Tonight's Dinner with my bf (total of 247 cal, including the drink!)
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 5 21:00:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we3hu/tonights_dinner_with_my_bf_total_of_247_cal/

Tonight's dinner
Created: Fri Aug 5 20:59:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we3bq/tonights_dinner/

[Help] Weekend long food-filled social event H A L P
Created: Fri Aug 5 20:49:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we21h/weekend_long_foodfilled_social_event_h_a_l_p/

[Intro] Friday Night Intro
/u/coffeelurk [F25| 5'4" | CW 121 | GW 100]
Created: Fri Aug 5 20:45:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we1dm/friday_night_intro/
Hi lovelies. Just wanted to introduce myself, as i've been lurking for the last 6 weeks when my 'ana' tendencies came back. I've gone from my HW of 140 to current weight of 125, which may seem high to a lot of you but oh man do I feel and look so much better already. My GW is 110, I think. We'll see if I want to go lower when I get there. I am doing Keto and eat 400-800 cals a day.

I've learned a lot of patience this time around. When I was 15 I could fast for days on end and lose a pound a day. These days I have to eat at least 400 cal a day or I feel like i'm going to die, and the weight comes off super slow. But I feel more patient this time around, I will have this body my whole life and I will take the time to built it into exactly what I want.

Currently i'm juggling trying to maintain my relationship with my AMAZING sweet man, juggling 3 jobs (don't ask why or how that happened), take care of my 1 year old pug, and get to my GW.

I hope everyone is is having a great Friday, and stay strong this weekend! <3

[Goal] I'm posting this for accountability. I won't binge tonight.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 20:41:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4we0ws/im_posting_this_for_accountability_i_wont_binge/
I've already eaten 1600-1800 calories today. I really want to just keep eating. But I'm NOT going to. Even if I stay up all night out of hunger. I will throw my extra food out before I eat it.

Thank you all for reading.

[Goal] Still using this app, hit my first goal today.
/u/Sundoglord [64" | 118 | 20.25 | 29 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 19:31:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wdri4/still_using_this_app_hit_my_first_goal_today/

[Help] Boyfriend is getting worried
Created: Fri Aug 5 18:34:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wdjxp/boyfriend_is_getting_worried/
My boyfriend knows about my past with anorexia. I was underweight, my periods stopped, and I was totally unhealthy. I've been recovered since before we started dating but I've relapsed recently. He thinks I've just lost my appetite when I've actually been starving myself again. He's begun to get worried about me losing weight and becoming unhealthy and he's threatened to force feed me if I lose too much. I'm not sure how to throw him off my tracks. Especially since I have 25 pounds to lose, he's bound to notice.

[Discussion] New to r/proED...need some guidance
/u/Kidfromelpaso [65in | 140lbs | 23.57 | 5lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 18:10:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wdgp9/new_to_rproedneed_some_guidance/
So I recently came to the realization that my eating habits aren't exactly "normal" habit for most people. I obsess over cleanses twice a month and fast 3/4 days a week. My SO looked heartbroken when he realized exactly what I've been doing. (We work opposite hours so it's hard to notice, but we took a 4 day vacation and he seemed shocked when he realized I hardly ate) I frequently indulge in edibles which gives me some appetite. But I'm finding it harder and harder to want to eat anything but veggies and nuts/seeds and drink water and vodka. I've got a decent alcohol issue and that's the reason I've been maintaining my ridiculous weight (140lbs). SO said I might need some help but didn't push it further. I want to embrace what I have and lose about 25/30 lbs. Thinspo and caffeine and cigarettes are my usual go to when I don't or can't eat. Any advice on how to get to my GW without anyone noticing I've got some issues? I'm pretty embarrassed.

[Rant/Rave] At Boyfriend's House and Quite Conflicted [long rant/rave]
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Fri Aug 5 17:47:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wddi3/at_boyfriends_house_and_quite_conflicted_long/
I'm visiting my boyfriend and his family (he went home for the summer, I stayed in my college town, school starts in ~a month) and I am quite conflicted about everything.

On the one hand, I've been using his scale (I normally only get to use the lil slidey one at my college gym because I haven't bought a scale yet and I am not going to be able to until after I pay for textbooks) so I can actually weigh myself in the morning before I've eaten and after I've [sometimes lol] pooped and I appear to be shedding all the water weight that was keeping me plateauing so I am hitting a new LW every morning and it's wonderful.

On the other hand, every meal is tortuously anxiety inducing and I have to deal with his sad puppy dog eyes when I don't eat anything at dinner [he knows about my ED] For example, today I had to go eat lunch with his parents and his rich-ass grandparents (they are lovely people but I cannot connect with them in any meaningful way. They spent the entire lunch talking about the 10 day Alaskan cruise they just went on and I'm over here like, I have enough money this week to pay my electric bill and buy my cheap safe food for groceries next week. (yay sweet potatoes!)) and there was sandwiches (!! fear food: bread), an "asian noodle salad" (!!!fear food: pasta) and afterwards, dessert (!!!! just fear: mint chocolate chip ice cream with lacey cookies) I ate as absolutely little as possible but I didn't want any of it and it was just so so anxiety inducing for me and now I can't eat dinner because of it and he's just gonna be like, you don't have to eat if you don't want to but I'm gonna *know* what he's thinking.

Jesus this got long. TL;DR: Making gains at losing but actually anxious as fuck. Thanks for reading

[Intro] New to this board and I have a couple of questions.
Created: Fri Aug 5 17:43:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wdcvp/new_to_this_board_and_i_have_a_couple_of_questions/

[Discussion] Plank Challenge - day 5
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 17:01:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wd6p1/plank_challenge_day_5/
Hey! How many of you decided to follow along with /u/smokesandsietcokes plank challenge? (Originally posted [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vok75/a_lot_of_people_i_know_are_doing_this_30_day/) )

Today should be your first rest day if you've kept up with it. How's your first few days feel? Have you done planks before or is this your first time trying it?

I've been doing them with feet elevated for an additional challenge since I had experience with planks. I missed doing it yesterday (was a bad day) but am catching up today. I'm definitely feeling the 50s elevated planks!

[Help] ED Advice with health care professionals
/u/amyrj28 [Height: 157cm | CW: 6st 7lbs | BMI: 16.7 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 16:57:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wd60i/ed_advice_with_health_care_professionals/
Hi. I have been diagnosed with AN a few months ago, and have a care coordinator and psychiatrist for that and help with depression, anxiety and self harm. I got involved with those services mainly for help with the depression and self harm as I was hospitalised last October for it, but have since had a relapse with an eating disorder (was diagnosed as EDNOS in 2008, but sort of recovered).

Anyway, my weight did stay quite steady for a while, so it wasn't really much of a concern, but in the past 2 months or so I've dropped around a stone or so, putting me at 6st 5lbs as of today, which gives me a bmi of 16.2.

Care coordinator (she's a community psych nurse), told me today my weight has dropped too much already and she isn't prepared to watch me get thinner and thinner every week anymore as it's gone on long enough and she is now concerned for my health and wellbeing physically, and emotionally, as my mood has dipped considerably, and my anxiety is really bad at the moment. Plus I am having physical effects such as loss of balance, dizzy, blacking out etc.

She was asking today if I wanted to be admitted to hospital because at the moment I'm very close to forcing her to take that route, but at the moment she's at the very least referring me to the high risk ED team and sending me for a full physical health check, and then based on that I have no idea.

I thought no one could do anything until my BMI was 15, but she said with my weight getting lower every week, and my use of laxatives involved they still can?

I'm not even sure what I'm asking here lol. I don't want to be hospitalised against my will, I don't want a referral to the ED team, but I can't maintain yet either. And she's hell bent on something happening soon.

I'm in the UK if that makes a difference.


[Thinspo] Is anyone else a tiny bit in love with Keira?
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 124 GW 119 |19.35 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 16:50:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wd4ua/is_anyone_else_a_tiny_bit_in_love_with_keira/

[Rant/Rave] Bittersweet
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 16:01:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wcwtn/bittersweet/
So i am significantly thinner than i was 6 months ago which is great. But now none of my clothes fit, they are all kind of baggy on me, even though they are size small. Even with my belt on the last notch, there is still a lot of space between my pants and stomach. The problem is my boyfriend tells me weekly how awful i look in all my clothes because theyre too big on me. it sucks bc i can't exactly go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. Its like i lost weight bc i looked shitty, but now that i've lost weight i still look shitty. fuck me man

How can i stay on track fasting??
Created: Fri Aug 5 15:56:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wcvyp/how_can_i_stay_on_track_fasting/

[Intro] Rationality.
/u/ceru1eus [67" | CW 122 | SW 122 | GW 110 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 15:53:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wcvit/rationality/
I have been uncomfortable with my weight for years, ranging from 135lbs in high school to 100lbs in college due to some health issues (I'm now 25). That range is largely in part to, of course, that old friend ED. I've found that my 'comfort zone' is around 110lbs, which I haven't been consistently in over a year.

I decided this summer to try and gain some weight. I haven't had a period in over two years and wanted to see if I could restore it and resolve other health complications by maintaining around 120-125. I wanted to improve my relationship with food and myself in the meantime. I wanted to accept my body with a little more mass. Well, I made it, but I'm finding it much less bearable than I expected. It took so much self-deception and so many weird rationalizations to keep up binge after binge in order to get there. I've been trying to lose again for a few weeks with no success. I've learned through this process to get better at accepting when a binge happens and then just move on without tearing myself apart for it, but that's a double-edged sword. It's definitely better for my mental health. I used to freak out over being 400cal over. Now I'm more like "1500 over my tde? meh, I'll figure it out later." That adds up, of course.

I want to be healthy. I want to be happy with my body and the way I think about food. I think I know how to get there, but I know the ways I plan to get to my goals are not the healthiest physically or psychologically. Maybe once I get back to my comfort zone, I'll be able to rework my relationship with food, because it's definitely problematic. I'm a really rational, level-headed person with respect to almost all other parts of my life, but I guess everyone has a little crazy in them. For now, I just want to feel back in control of my life and my body. I've always fought this battle alone. I don't want to do that anymore. I started lurking on this subreddit a few weeks ago. It's an unusually accepting community, one that I'd like to be a part of rather than continue a cycle of perceived failure and self-deprecation. I likely won't have as much time as I'd like to devote to this sub (thanks academia), but I hope you guys won't mind me stopping by from time to time. You seem like lovely humans. <3

tl/dr: hey guys!

Antbody realize they save money with their ED?
Created: Fri Aug 5 15:31:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wcrtx/antbody_realize_they_save_money_with_their_ed/

[Help] Another *ahem* bowel movement question
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 14:12:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wce1p/another_ahem_bowel_movement_question/
Sorry for the TMI guys.

Whenever I go to poop, it comes out in these little chunks, like rabbit poops.

As far as I know, that's not normal, but I can't figure out what the deal is.

Anyone got any insight?

[Rant/Rave] Reconciling logic and ED brain can be so frustrating. Aka, why i bitched out at the gym today
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 14:05:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wccts/reconciling_logic_and_ed_brain_can_be_so/
So i lift weights and i go as heavy as i can while restricting. My fling is here until monday and he's a personal trainer, so we've been spending upwards of 3hrs at the gym putting in work. Today we were hitting chest. I wanted a one rep max of 95 on my bench and i got it. Then we did volume and a bunch of other exercises. Point being that today was supposed to have been amazing.

But then there was another couple and idk what the guy looked like, honestly no idea. But the girl. Oh man, she had the best quads while still being so small. And then she squatted 135 with ease. She couldnt have been more than 127. And here's my fat ass at 143, struggling to put up a PR of 165. And she's over there pushing out 8 like it's nothing.

So logically, im trying to work through all this: 'you cant compare yourself with her' 'youre doing the best for you' 'she's probably been doing this longer' 'you dont know her story' ' do your day to the best of your ability', etc. And meanwhile im also trying to look like im not crumbling on the inside.

Anyway, i failed at that, and i got extremely moody and frustrated, and instead of being able to put that frustration into my lifts, i just got pissed, quietly rage quit (while my dude was trying to figure out wtf was up) and did cardio for the next 30 minutes.

Im so mad at myself. Why couldnt i use that to push myself? Why did her success tear me down? Why did i project all of that onto her? Im so frustrated trying to be both logical and disordered; it just doesnt work together.

[Discussion] Can we talk about the wonders of broth?
/u/newportshorty [5'9 | fat | 19F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 14:05:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wccrg/can_we_talk_about_the_wonders_of_broth/
I love it. I can throw a ton of zucchini, carrots, whatever other yummy vegetable in a giant pot of water, toss in half a bouillon cube and well-ah! I get like half a gallon of water in, a super full tummy, and so few calories. It's amazing. Especially coming from me, someone who is a savory queen lol. I found my perfect sugar route (Halo Top, dear god yes) and now I have this. Anyone else love broth?

[Discussion] Purging a chocolate donut - 0/10 no recommendations, here.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Aug 5 13:27:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wc5vx/purging_a_chocolate_donut_010_no_recommendations/
I see that people post donuts a lot as binge food. I'm really confused as to how lol

I ate a chocolate donut, felt bad about 20 minutes later. Chugged some water, went to my work bathroom, and just puked up frosting. Messiest thing ever. Never again.

Have any of you purged something that you were just like "ugh, no, not even worth it" - another for me is salsa.. lol

[Discussion] Does anyone else joke about their ED with friends?
/u/ClownLord-PlebMaster [5'8 | 145.6 | 22.0 | 27 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 13:16:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wc3v3/does_anyone_else_joke_about_their_ed_with_friends/
I was hanging out with a friend today and they had cake at their house. He asked if i wanted a slice so i said "no thanks i had a tortilla chip today" amd we both laughed about it. he knows about my ED but he respects me enough to not intervene because he knows i can handle myself. Anyone else say silly shit like that?

[Rant/Rave] Almost caught purging on vacation.
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:133 lbs | BMI 19.6 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Fri Aug 5 13:15:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wc3pz/almost_caught_purging_on_vacation/
Hello everyone!

Sorry that I haven't posted much, or did any food diaries the last couple days. I actually have been on vacation in the city with my friends. Turns out, I came back with a story to tell.

While I was on vacation, I was very worried that I might have to eat "normally" around my friends in order to avoid raising suspicion. I figured 3 meals a day couldn't be /too/ bad... especially since I was walking alot too, I thought I would burn some extra calories. But I forgot about how anxious I feel when it comes to eating around others and eating out at a restaurant. Since we were on vacation, we ate out three times each day with snacks in between aswell. I really wanted to avoid purging, but I will admit that i did purge a couple times. It was just too much to handle. I thought no one noticed at the time (I always said I was just going to the bathroom, no one came with me ever).

It wasn't until the last meal, when another guy who was on vacation came into the washrooms and asked me what I was doing.. Apparently one of the girls on the trip (most of my friends are female) sent him into the washroom to check in on me and make sure I was okay. He mentioned how she (the girl who sent him in here) thought it was odd that I went to the washroom after every meal. I told him I was fine, and no one ever brought anything up after that. Although I technically wasn't caught purging, I totally thought that I blew my cover right then are there.

This was way too close of a call. It's August 5th...For those of you who don't know, I am moving 6-8 hours away come September. I will be alone with no one who knows about past history with ana.

I've made it this far being low-key about my ED...tricking friends... family... and therapists.

I cannot screw up now.

I got asked if I was ok by a guy at work today
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 12:26:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbum7/i_got_asked_if_i_was_ok_by_a_guy_at_work_today/
I work in the offices of a warehouse doing HR so I have a fair amount of interaction with our shop guys (carpenters, iron workers, electricians, etc). My field is filled with middle aged men, and being a mid-20s girl I've gotten used to the guys either treating me like a girl they want to bang or a daughter, sometimes both and it's really weird especially since I'm HR but whatever they get 3 strikes and no one's gotten there yet. So over the past few years there are a few of the guys that I've gotten closer with, guys that I talk to and they keep me updated on their lives and vice versa and it's always a nice talk. I've also gone up and down in weight over the past few years, only about 20lbs here or there but as guys who are always looking I assume they notice. One guy is truly very nice and I've gotten to know a good deal about his wife, they've had a son and I got him a gift that the little boy adores, and he's made mention of the fact that I'm a beautiful girl but never in the hitting on way just as a matter fact way. One day he came in and told me that according the radio that morning I had everything a guy looks for in a girl and listed off the criteria from the radio show and he was right; things like dark curly hair, tall, intelligent, and always smiling. It was an interesting conversation but nothing inappropriate. So today we're walking past each other and he just says "Every time I see you you get skinnier and skinnier." In my mind I was thinking AWESOME! Until he continued. He proceeded to ask me if I was ok, and then added that his wife was also losing weight and she was stressed out but maybe it's the time of year because everyone seems to be losing weight. I laughed it off and said yes it was because it was summer which encourages more physical activity and we laughed together and went on our way. I was really happy when he first brought it up but now part of me wonders if I'm looking sickly or something, or if people are talking about me behind my back thinking I'm losing it too fast or something. My goal look has never been to be super skinny, I see a lot of pro-ana thinspo and think it's too skinny, but I've ALWAYS wanted a flat stomach and am determined to lose enough body fat that I have one. But what if I can't do that without looking like a teenage girl? I don't have big boobs or anything but I still would like to look like a woman. My bf keeps saying I look great and that he'd definitely tell me if I was sick looking but this guy's comment has just stuck in my head all day.

[Discussion] Someone was taking pictures of me...
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:58:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbpay/someone_was_taking_pictures_of_me/
about 2 days ago I was binging at subway (I purged right after). While I was sitting in the corner eating my sandwich, I hear this table of people giggling and laughing. But I thought nothing of it.
Then all their chatter turned to whispers and I hear someone say under their breath "take a picture of her! Take a picture" I look up and their iPhones are aimed towards me and they were taking pictures of me eating. When I looked at them they put there phones down, and the guy that was in the group did one of those fake coughs and says "ham beast" and the girl next to him does a fake cough and says "fat ass". And they laughed and left.

Its just crazy to me how people can be so cruel.

[Goal] Got this notification today while updating my weight on MFP
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:49:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbnmx/got_this_notification_today_while_updating_my/

[Intro] My first post
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbnim/my_first_post/
(Could someone please comment how to flair a post on the app??)

Hi everyone! I just found this community and I like it a lot. I'm relapsing with my anorexia and I wanted to find a place I post about it! I'm 16, 5'6" 122 lbs and my GW is 97 lbs. My lowest weight is 102. I look forward to meeting people on here!

[Help] [Help] Calorie question?
/u/jippityjuniper [5'7" | 148 | 23.10 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:33:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbkpf/help_calorie_question/
Hi everyone, sorry for no flair, I'm on mobile. I eat a brand of rice from the Aldi food store called Specially Selected Brown Basmati Rice. I had originally thought the calories were 140 cal for 1/2 cup, but on myfitnesspal it's telling it's 140 cal for an entire cup?? Is that possible? That seems like so much rice for the calorie count, and if I've been wrong about one of my favorite safe foods for so long I can't help but feel slightly upset. I didn't want to make an entire post for one question but I could find any proper information online.

Edit: I should have added it's 1/2 cup cooked, not dry.

[Rant/Rave] I just want to be aloooooooone :(
Created: Fri Aug 5 11:30:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wbk58/i_just_want_to_be_aloooooooone/

Lowest adult weight
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 124 GW 119 |19.35 | -31lbs | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 10:32:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wb9co/lowest_adult_weight/
So I reached my lowest adult weight today. Last time I saw 128lbs was about 5 years ago, and I feel ... Deflated.

Last time I was this weight I was ecstatic. I had finally taken control of my weight for the first time, had lost roughly the same weight I have lost this time (27lbs) and I felt SKINNY and pretty and powerful.

This time... I was in a meeting at work today and I crossed my arms and was subtly grabbing the fat round my ribs there is still enough for me to grab 2 handfuls at the same time, and even more on my tummy which still sticks out- I have quite narrow hips which means I always have a tummy and I want it to FUCK OFF!

But after loosing all the weight a second time I'm wondering if part of my problem will be loose skin. Maybe I'll always be able to grab skin like that I can't tell how much is fat, defo fat on tummy but maybe ribs is more skin? Idk, have to wait and see I guess. I'm less than 10lbs away from my GW now but I already know I want to go lower - to 109lbs probably but I'm kinda in denial about this as I don't want to actually move the goal posts yet.

Rant/rave on mobile sorry no flair

[Discussion] Most weight (according to scale) you've gained after a binge?
/u/wanderingrugrat [5'0" | cw: 96.8 lbs | -40 lbs | f]
Created: Fri Aug 5 10:06:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wb4ll/most_weight_according_to_scale_youve_gained_after/
How long did it take to lose it again?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 05, 2016
Created: Fri Aug 5 10:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wb3tt/daily_food_diary_august_05_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Rant/Rave] I'm interested in a guy who is only 1 inch taller than me and is too close to my own weight for comfort.
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Fri Aug 5 09:59:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wb38x/im_interested_in_a_guy_who_is_only_1_inch_taller/
No way in hell we are having sex before I get to my UGW of 125 lbs. He's maybe 5'10" or so and is 155 lbs. I'm 5'9" and 145. 😰 I feel huge.

[Goal] I think something finally clicked for me.
/u/thinismygame [5'6" | 148 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 09:24:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wax3e/i_think_something_finally_clicked_for_me/
This morning, I woke up too late to work out, but still earlier than usual. Normally, missing a workout leads to a binge. Habitually, I ran through the breakfast menu at McDonald's in my head to pick out the food that would serve as my punishment. Instead of feeling my usual guilt, regret, and self-hatred, I felt nothing. Not nothing in that dark sense of apathy, but nothing was pushing me forward. Nothing made me **want** to binge.

Instead of crying on the scale, I skipped weighing myself (another punishment that only garners shame) to play with the dog. I danced around the living room. I made tea and packed Powerade Zero for lunch, deciding that I would fast as a replacement for my missed workout, not a punishment.

I feel free of the desperation to be in control because I actually am in control. I used to fear being fat, gaining so much weight that I'd bust out of my clothes like the Incredible Hulk (you won't like me when I'm ~~angry~~ fat!). How, I'm hopeful. I am excited to know that I'll be thin soon. I have a plan, and I know that absent this pressure formed by fear, I will achieve my goals.

They say fear is strong but I'm finding that hope is stronger.

[Rant/Rave] Going to Yoga for the first time in a month
/u/ClashTenniShoes [6'M | 212 lb| 28.8 BMI | -11 lb | UGW 190]
Created: Fri Aug 5 09:23:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wawxg/going_to_yoga_for_the_first_time_in_a_month/
So, I've felt too fat to go to Yoga for a month now. It's already feeling awkward cause I don't want to be "that guy" that goes to Yoga class, and then I Feel even worse when I'm feeling fat and then it's just a bad cycle because yoga helps debloat me.

Anyway, woke up this morning, was down 7 lbs since Sunday night and cleared my work schedule. I'm so excited.

[Other] TFW a lot of us would genuinely ask this question
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'3 | 103.1 | 18.50 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 09:05:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4watvd/tfw_a_lot_of_us_would_genuinely_ask_this_question/

[Help] Freaking Out
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 5 08:58:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wasfn/freaking_out/
So I posted an awesome progress photo of my weight loss via fitbit the other day. I was down 25 lbs from where I started. Stepped on the scale yesterday, and it was still right where I left it the day before. Then stepped on the scale this morning, only for it to be up **10 fucking pounds**!!!!! I'm livid and freaking out. I've been fasting, I've been stacking, and I've been out walking (thanks Pokemon Go!). I'M NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!!!!!! Any suggestions on what to do here, or how to rationalize this in some way???

Side note: what caffeine pills do y'all take in your EC Stacks?

I'm going to a cabaret show tonight where there is a $25 food/beverage minimum. Keeping in mind that I don't drink and am a vegetarian, what would you get? (Menu on the bottom right of webpage)
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 08:53:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4warpz/im_going_to_a_cabaret_show_tonight_where_there_is/

[Rant/Rave] Lunch with coworkers
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:58:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa95t/lunch_with_coworkers/
Hi everyone<3

I need to vent a little.

So, I really like cooking and preparing healthy food and meals. I don't eat very much, so when I do eat, I like to take my time, prepare something delicious, and sit down BY MYSELF and eat it very slowly and savoring it. I absolutely love food when enjoyed in this controlled way. One of my biggest fears is mindless snacking.. consuming all those calories and not even getting to enjoy them.
This is one of the biggest reasons I like to eat alone. No distractions. Just focused controlled eating with a purpose.

I recently had my performance review at work. it was all positive, except for one thing. My boss pointed out that I do not socialize enough with my coworkers. She suggested I eat lunch with the group in the kitchen like everyone else does.

This Is like a nightmare for me. I don't want to eat lunch with everyone else. I know it sounds so silly but I really dont like to talk to people when I am eating. I hope someone here can relate. I'm having a hard time articulating what I am feeling.

[Other] Feelin pretty fantastic after last night's laxative dinner and this morning's 130 cal breakfast :)
/u/likeits2013 [5'8"| 130 lbs | 19.8 BMI | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:55:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa8tx/feelin_pretty_fantastic_after_last_nights/

Feelin pretty fantastic after laat5 night's laxative dinner and this morning's 130 cal breakfast :)
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:54:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa8lv/feelin_pretty_fantastic_after_laat5_nights/

[Help] Acute, Severe Hunger
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:27:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa4sa/acute_severe_hunger/
Hi everyone, it's day four of eating one 700 kcal meal a day, down 2.4 lbs down which is fantastic! However today the hunger has hit hard, as well as lightheadedness and heightened sensitivity, weakness and general anxiety.

My meal isn't until 6pm and it's 1.30pm now, on top of that I'm going weight training with my dad at 4pm and I'm worried about passing out.

I know this hunger and weakness is mental seeing as I had a huge meal 19 hours ago, but how do you guys deal with these episodes without giving in to food?

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! August 05, 2016
Created: Fri Aug 5 06:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4wa1hd/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_august_05/
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for August 05, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!


1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Help] How do you keep busy on days you aren't doing anything?
/u/iPood_ [5'0" | 101 | 19.7 | -50 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 05:22:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9wy9/how_do_you_keep_busy_on_days_you_arent_doing/
I have the next few days off with nothing to do. I don't want to fuck up all the progress I've made recently but I *always* binge when I have free days. So far I have planned to take my dog to the beach, go for a run, do some pop Pilates, but I still have a lot of empty hours. My willpower is much better when I have planned out exactly what I'm going to do all day. The only issue is I can't really go out to malls or anything - I will binge and I also am trying to get over a shopping addiction too so that would be like an alcoholic hanging out at a bar for fun. Do you guys have any interest in hobbies or random shit you do that doesn't involve spending a lot of money and helps keep your mind off eating? I'm getting desperate bc I know if I can't find something to do tomorrow I will end up posted up in front of the fridge all day.

[Goal] I didn't weigh myself at the gym today :D
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Aug 5 04:37:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9s2v/i_didnt_weigh_myself_at_the_gym_today_d/
I'm trying not to weigh myself until the end of August *at least*, as per my 'chill out and stop being crazy' plan. Not weighing myself worked before (I never once weighed myself through the bulk of my weight loss, but started when I started weight training this year), it might work again now.. I was so much more chill without weighing myself and found I could restrict so much more easily and make much better decisions when it came to food (i.e NO STRESS BINGING!).

Anyway.. I thought I was gonna give in today, but I didn't! That's pretty much all, lol!

*-happy dance-* :D

[Rant/Rave] Some guys yelled out of their car at me to lose weight
Created: Fri Aug 5 03:03:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9j40/some_guys_yelled_out_of_their_car_at_me_to_lose/
I was restricting for a while,but then something really crashed my world recently (my father cheated on my mom with a girl younger than me and wanted to divorce her to have a son with this young girl) which really triggered my binge eating disorder to come back...then I just ballooned up like crazy, and it looks really bad on my five feet frame. But I cannot believe that some people just don't even know what is going on in your life and are so cruel they just want to hurt you for looking a certain way. It is like...they assume I am lazy and eat all day...but I been underweight, I been hooked on diet pills and laxatives and water pills, I cried over not being able to eat and wanting to die after swallowing any little morsel of food and made myself puke it out, I have lost my hair and period and went through starvation hell and back...they dont know what I been through. I hate them. I bet they never went through that shit themselves, chewing and fucking spitting everything out into the trash so it won't get swallowed, needing to pour bleach on food so it won't get eaten, but still retrieving the food out of the trash if it wasn't bleach, but "just" the basic dirt and grime it already collected from the surrounding trash. OH i wanted to strangle them SO BADLY. I can lose the weight. But to undermine everything I been through in my ED journey just made me so mad, that they could judge me just like that and never considered all that SHIT AND PAIN I WENT THROUGH.

[Discussion] A poem I wrote, just wanted to share with people who could relate to it.
Created: Fri Aug 5 02:40:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9gvw/a_poem_i_wrote_just_wanted_to_share_with_people/
The hair will become lush
The nails will become durable
The dizziness will fade
The thighs will touch
The bones will become unknown
The numbers will be healthy
The girl will seem to be as she was
The normal girl
The healthy girl
The happy girl
The days pass
The girl is fine
The girl is better
The girl is changed
The girl has hope

The scars become old and fade


The society has not changed
The culture that pushed her into the box will again push

The girl will again try to be strong
The girl will again be overcome by the thoughts
The girl will again hear the happy light headed cries of hunger
The girl will again feel the comfort of simple emptiness

The hair will again abandon her head
The nails will again become fickle
The stars will again flash in her eyes upon standing
The thighs will again diminish into separate entities
The bones will again reveal themselves
The numbers will again go down, down, down
The girl will shrink and be wonderful
The disordered girl
The sick girl
The sneaky girl
The days pass
The girl isn't fine
The girl isn't better
The girl isn't changed
The girl has no hope

The showers will again sting

Sorry if formatting is off I'm on mobile!

[Thinspo] Some of my favorite thinspo pictures to use as mobile wallpapers, and a reminder that if you're fasting...
/u/I_Love_Spiders_AMA [5' 7" | CW 125 | GW 120 | BMI 20ish | -25 | F]
Created: Fri Aug 5 01:58:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9cqd/some_of_my_favorite_thinspo_pictures_to_use_as/
You can do it!!! For those of us that struggle with fasting it can be a pain in the ass trying to actually complete one. I've currently reached the 24-hour mark without giving in (after starting over with a slip up yesterday) and I'm proud even though I still feel guilty for *thinking* about food. I very nearly had a sandwich earlier but thank goodness for coffee.

[Here's some thinspo! These are some of my favorite pictures and I use them as wallpaper when I need it.](http://imgur.com/a/rdSog)

[Rant/Rave] Crazy how taking the long way home can add up
/u/Oyapunn [5'8" | CW: 139.2 | GW:135 | UGW:125 |-8.8]
Created: Fri Aug 5 01:26:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w99fr/crazy_how_taking_the_long_way_home_can_add_up/
When you already hit 5k steps by 2am :'D
Today will be a day of walking too, kinda hoping to reach 20k! (Already hit it once this week, twice in a week would be amazing!)

[Rant/Rave] Why is it that yesterday I tried to fast and ate 519 calories, but today I had planned to be a normal 700-900 cal day and ate 149 calories without trying to??? [Rant]
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Fri Aug 5 00:29:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w9358/why_is_it_that_yesterday_i_tried_to_fast_and_ate/
Sorry, on mobile, not sure I'll be able to flair!

Yesterday I was feeling sick from eating mini doughnuts at a festival on Monday after cutting out almost all cooking oil (use spray olive oil when necessary and try to bake or steam food instead of pan frying)-- I'm sure having wine for dinner on Tuesday didn't help either. So I decided to fast for the day, except for tea and soup broth, to try and calm my stomach. Ended up eating crackers with cream cheese, fruit and popsicles. Today I was feeling much more normal, had an americano with sugar-free vanilla syrup while out shopping late in the morning, and spent all day painting with my new watercolours, completely forgetting about breakfast or lunch. Made spiralized zucchini with tomato sauce for dinner and had a boiled egg as an evening snack for protein. I don't really feel good, feeling pretty faint and my legs feel sore although that may just be fatigue since it's pretty late here, but it just kind of happened today. Wish I could've had this sort of effortless self control when I actually intended to...

/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Thu Aug 4 23:39:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w8x5w/my_eating_disorder_story_video/

[Rant/Rave] Is anyone else scared af to get pregnant?
Created: Thu Aug 4 21:43:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w8ije/is_anyone_else_scared_af_to_get_pregnant/

[Rant/Rave] Ahahahahaha
/u/pcrnography [5'6" | -55 lbs | nb]
Created: Thu Aug 4 21:19:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w8fhv/ahahahahaha/
failed my fast, binged, and purged. I was doing fine and even told my dad I had a stomach ache and couldn't eat but still, I had to go out to dinner where I had fries (500cal) and diet coke and then we stopped for cookies (fucking Why??? we just ate oh my god) then I ate two of those (360cal a piece) then six reeses pieces things (264cal). Then of course I had to purge because even if I'm trying to stop I can't deal with just leaving it all to sit in my stomach.

Anyway, [this is me](http://www.ghettoredhot.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/cutting-grass-364x205.jpg) at myself right now. I hope everyone else's day is going better than mine!

[Discussion] Foods whose calorie counts totally shocked you?
Created: Thu Aug 4 20:56:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w8c8m/foods_whose_calorie_counts_totally_shocked_you/

[Other] I wrote you guys something (tw, white people poetry)
Created: Thu Aug 4 20:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w84sc/i_wrote_you_guys_something_tw_white_people_poetry/
Im slowly shrinking

But never enough to disappear

Empty stomached and empty headed

Except for the storm inside

I walk away from the damage

It always follows

I fill myself with smoke to quiet the hungry demons

For a while

A head rush for dinner

But I still feel impure

The shower is full of spiders

And ill never be clean again

[Discussion] Can we have like a weekly fashion thread?
/u/geidi_primes [5'11.5 | 151-157 | M]
Created: Thu Aug 4 19:58:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w847n/can_we_have_like_a_weekly_fashion_thread/
anyone else think that'd be a fun feature? or is this something that should just be thrown into the selfie weekly?

edit- seems like a separate thread may have enough interest! could be anything related to fashion, whether inspo albums, tips on where to buy, how to look thinner/less thin if you have to hide it, outfit of the day, etc

[Discussion] DAE feel like their weight loss is less urgent the closer you get to your UGW?
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:53:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7lmn/dae_feel_like_their_weight_loss_is_less_urgent/
When I was ~140-145 I was fasting for 4 days every other week and eating 900 on the other days and it was so imperative that I LOSE WEIGHT NOOOOOOOOOW but the more I've lost and the closer I am to my UGW the less extreme my urge to restrict harder. Don't get me wrong, restriction is still mandatory to my brain and I still get stupid anxious and guilty if I go over by more than ~6 calories but right now I'm allowing myself 900 a day and 1200 every Sunday and I'm okay with taking a couple months to get to my goal.

Anyone else? Just me?


[Rant/Rave] "I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself."
/u/blasechicken [5'6" | too much | -5 | UGW 120lb | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:52:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7lkr/i_am_a_nice_shark_not_a_mindless_eating_machine/
Quick intro, since I don't think I ever officially did one - I struggle with cycles of restricting and binging. I often restrict during the day, then I turn into a mindless binge monster at night. I am not underweight or even thin, so I frequently feel like I don't belong, but I really love this community.

Anyway, success! I avoided a binge tonight. Today was a success because I ate enough to satisfy me for breakfast and lunch, and because I remembered the above quote from Finding Nemo while eating dinner, and focused on how the food was satisfying me. This allowed me to stop when I was satisfied, rather than when I was nauseatingly overfull. I put the leftovers in the fridge rather than eating and eating until all the food was gone. Very happy!

Tell me your success stories! How do you avoid binges? <3

[Rant/Rave] A horrifying, now crying, blob of fat
/u/Eldritchwhore369 [5'6" | 119 | 19 | -6 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:52:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7lhb/a_horrifying_now_crying_blob_of_fat/
I've made comments in this subreddit but never actually made a post. Generally I'm too nervous (I got a lot of "you're not really sick you're just lying for attention type bullshit from people in my life a while back), but I really couldn't keep it in today because I'm miserable and disgusting and so fucking sad.

I had a big freakout that led to me eating under 300-500 calories since the first, and I was doing FINE today. I had my tea and my cigarettes and it was FINE. And then I started trying to plan an actual set of caloric goals to get me down to my UGW of 100lbs by Halloween. Three whole months. So after fiddling with a bunch of calculators (and keeping in mind the suggestion made by u/Glitter_Cunt to have weekly calorie limits), I figured out a tentative game plan to lose the proper amount of weight, and drop my calories slowly enough to maintain my health, metabolism, etc.

But it starts off with 6000 calories in a WEEK! I was petrified just looking at the numbers while that's distributed in a staggered way, with a near-fast day and a couple higher cal days, I can't even IMAGINE eating 1200 calories in a day anymore.

With the emotional stuff that happened with my boyfriend this morning, and in an absolute panic about food, I ate almost 900 calories of utter crap, and was too much of a bitch to even purge it afterward.

There's just too much in my head: trying to structure my diet and being sure I'll gain weight with 6000 calories a week (even though I'd slowly drop that to 4000 and then work on maintenance), trying to type up a resume, feeling shit from an inordinate amount of nicotine-- and then TODAY my 6'1.5", 135 pound boyfriend tells me *I* make him feel fat! That boy can kill a pizza with no shame and now I'm scared that my dysmorphia is rubbing off on him.

I wasn't perfect 3 months ago. Not at my goal weight yet, but slim and delicate and below 110. How the fuck did I let myself get like this, to where even the thought of trying to fix it in a slightly healthier way scares me.

[Help] Dinner help D:
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:36:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7ipy/dinner_help_d/

[Other] I feel fucking disgusting all the time
/u/imnotofuckingkay [47 in | 68 lbs | 21.5 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:17:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7fof/i_feel_fucking_disgusting_all_the_time/
Warning: This post is pretty icky.

I wake up and I feel gross. I feel sweaty and fat, and hairy and like I smell bad. I eat - no more than 230 calories a meal - and I feel like a fat piece of shit. I try to not eat but after 5-6 hours I'm too hungry to do anything. So I eat again. And I look in the mirror and I have huge thighs and a horrible stomach with rolls and I hate myself. My hair is gross and my skin is dry and I can see all of my old acne scars. I can see my self harm marks. I keep hating myself and trying to restrict more and more but I can't. But 800 calories a day is making me hate myself for being such a fat fuck. I really do hate myself.

And I can't stop.

Sorry - I just needed to put that out in the universe.

[Other] Tattoo Thread!
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 17:07:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w7e28/tattoo_thread/
So I've noticed that a lot of people hanging out here have AMAZING tattoos and I thought I would start a place to show them off, or tell us about them, if y'all want! I'm planning on getting one soon after I graduate, a teeny-tiny arrow for a whole bunch of different reasons. What about y'all? :)

[Rant/Rave] Calorie miscount rage
Created: Thu Aug 4 16:41:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w79q7/calorie_miscount_rage/

[Other] Currently walking off a panera cookie
/u/ClownLord-PlebMaster [5'8 | 145.6 | 22.0 | 27 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 16:14:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w75au/currently_walking_off_a_panera_cookie/
I found out after i ate it its almost 500 calories, Jesus fuck. So now im walking basically the whole town and it's 90 out. I feel like im gonna die. The things i do to be skinny,eugh

[Discussion] EXERCISING - anyone else?
/u/nymph-y [5'7'' | CW: 138 | -50 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 16:11:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w74qt/exercising_anyone_else/
Does anyone else struggle with vigorous cardio exercise (like running and stuff) because it makes you super hungry afterward? I want to exercise and burn more calories, but I find that the intense hunger I feel when I'm done almost makes it not worth it. It's so annoying.

[Discussion] How does your water intake effect your weight?
/u/wanderingrugrat [5'0" | cw: 96.8 lbs | -40 lbs | f]
Created: Thu Aug 4 16:05:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w73sd/how_does_your_water_intake_effect_your_weight/
Yo everybody, first post:) I love this community- everybody seems so supportive and friendly! It's comforting to know that there are a lot of people who share my problems with EDs.

So I was curious about how water effects your guys' weight and if you feel like drinking a lot of water fastens/slows your weight loss. Of course either way it's just water weight - but I do feel like it's important as the weight on the scale effects a lot of us whether it's a "true" weight or not.

So- does drinking a lot of water drop water weight for you, add it / make it more difficult to lose water weight, or make no difference? And while we are on the subject- how many oz of water do you guys usually have when restricting?

Alright sorry for all of the weird questions. Water weight and how it works confuses me, and I think I'm retaining water, so would love some insight! :)

[Help] Cute clothes that hide looking underweight, but don't make you look bulky?
Created: Thu Aug 4 15:46:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w706o/cute_clothes_that_hide_looking_underweight_but/
I need some tips on how to achieve this, as I'm totally lacking any inspiration, that's pretty much it, I have pretty skinny legs and arms, a widish frame and a bigger stomach where I store my fat, so when looking from the front and back (in tight clothing) this makes me look like some skeleton with clothes even tho my bones don't really stick out, but my curves look angular if you know what I mean.

So yeah, I don't want to bulk up too much with big clothing as that + my stomach makes me look like a barrel on sticks and I already got enough too big oversized clothing, that it actually has started to depress me to wear too big stuff.

Hope my ramblings made sense and that someone can help me, thanks anyway tho. 😊

ALSO I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT BRANDS SELL NICE STUFF EITHER AS I DON'T FIT INTO THE CLOTHES MY FAVOURITE STORE IN TOWN SELLS. (Aka the only store in town selling nice clothes in my price range that isn't the mini H&M where everyone buys there clothes (like you can go into that store and walk past the racks and every second item you find there seems to be owned by at least one person you know).) So some nice online shopping suggestions are welcome. ><

[Tip] Some times talking to someone helps me and this place is ok
Created: Thu Aug 4 15:41:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6z9o/some_times_talking_to_someone_helps_me_and_this/

[Rant/Rave] Fuck this whole day.
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 15:34:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6xzp/fuck_this_whole_day/
I've been fasting all day after 2 days of overeating. I felt good all day, really light, hardly any cravings. Come home from work, weight myself, my weight hasn't changed at all. Usually it's at least a half pound down during a fast. On top of that, my grandmother (who I live with) is insisting we order a pizza for dinner. This whole day just feels like a waste. I'm surrounded by food, and I feel like I'm right on the verge of ruining all my progress. I can't handle this.

ps: sorry for posting so much lately, this has just been a rough week for me lol

[Discussion] For those of you who have been pregnant before
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:56:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6r79/for_those_of_you_who_have_been_pregnant_before/
This isn't a ProED post because I'm not engaging in ED behaviors while I'm pregnant. However, I'm losing my mind with body image issues. I am now at the point where I'm starting to gain weight and it looks like I'm just putting on a few pounds.

For those who have been pregnant, how did you handle this in-between stage? A part of me wants to tell everyone I'm pregnant and not fat, but I had a miscarriage last time, and it was really hard having to tell everyone about it. I told work and family and friends really early on last pregnancy, and my husband wants to keep this one under wraps until the second trimester.

I feel like people are looking at me thinking I've let myself go and must have lost all self-control. For once in my life, I *want* to be heavier so I look pregnant and not pudgy. Ugh, it's so embarrassing.

[Rant/Rave] The fucking dog ate my food.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:53:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6qjw/the_fucking_dog_ate_my_food/
On mobile, no flair, apologies.

So, the family I nanny for has this giant husky. I made a sandwich and when I had to step away from it for a second because one of the kids was running around with a knife (what the fuck), I made sure to put it in a place that I was fairly sure the dog couldn't reach.

I was wrong. 😑

Idk, it's annoying. But part of me is also glad because I mean, I didn't actually even want the sandwich. I was just eating to eat.

But holy fuck, this is why I own cats.

[Other] I don't deserve to eat or to live.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:45:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6p8h/i_dont_deserve_to_eat_or_to_live/
I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to sustain my life by eating. I am an abusive, vindictive sadist, so I don't deserve to live. I want to live and I want to be happy, but I don't deserve either. Who I am and what I've done is unforgivable. I hate myself, and everyone else would hate me, too, if they really knew me. I'm fucked up and broken FAR beyond repair. I am worth less than nothing.

[Other] ED + being high lunch
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 106.6 | 19.41 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:45:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6p5f/ed_being_high_lunch/

[Rant/Rave] Whyy do my hips have to be so wide
Created: Thu Aug 4 14:22:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6kx1/whyy_do_my_hips_have_to_be_so_wide/

[Other] Weird experience at the MoMA...
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 108 lbs | 19.66 | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 12:50:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w64c8/weird_experience_at_the_moma/
[on mobile so will flair for discussion later]

Today I visited the Museum of Modern Art and looking at all of the older works gave me the weirdest thoughts. All of the women depicted are always big and soft, with stomach rolls, round cheeks, and large thighs. I can't believe that those types of bodies used to be longed for and it makes me question whether what I'm doing is unneeded. Then I see myself in a mirror and my ED brain reminds me why I started restricting in the first place.
Anybody else have any thoughts on this?

[Help] Anyone With Psiquiatric medication?
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 100 | 16.4| F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 12:38:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w621h/anyone_with_psiquiatric_medication/
I recently got prescripted with clonazepam.
Side effects: I sleep almost all day. But I am on vacations and home alone now. I skip meals easily.
But I am slow and dizzy. Plus I need terapy and I think in some point my doctor will find out my ED.

Any advice or experience?

[Help] Do Aritzia, Ann Taylor vanity size? Hit a zero and still 20ish lbs from UGW?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 12:34:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w6176/do_aritzia_ann_taylor_vanity_size_hit_a_zero_and/
Really weird shopping experience today. Left with a couple bottoms in a 0 (not a 00) and expected I would be around a 4 at best given my current weight? What is going on?

[Rant/Rave] I was just diagnosed with BED a week after being diagnosed with AN. LOLLLLLL
Created: Thu Aug 4 12:07:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5w8a/i_was_just_diagnosed_with_bed_a_week_after_being/

[Thinspo] Partly have the courage to show progress
Created: Thu Aug 4 11:22:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5nkq/partly_have_the_courage_to_show_progress/
Hopefully the link works, not use to imgur. I'll probably end up deleting soon.

Not sure if I want to post my stats here at least, cause my bones are small and I don't think it'll be believable.

I think posting the image will hold me more accountable cause id like to give updates. Not that far into it. Changed mind to 5 pounds til goal weight.



Not sure how to make an album

[Thinspo] Feeling actually okay looking today since my booze and subway binge.
Created: Thu Aug 4 11:18:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5my1/feeling_actually_okay_looking_today_since_my/

[Intro] Belated intro & my experience maintaining BMI <18 lifelong.
/u/FredMist [5'9.5" | 110 lbs | 15.6 | -13 | f]
Created: Thu Aug 4 11:18:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5msj/belated_intro_my_experience_maintaining_bmi_18/
Hi guys. Sorry, this is going to be long.

I have been participating in this sub for a year now (only when I feel I can contribute) and never wrote an intro so I might as well do it now. One of the reasons I never wrote an intro is because I don't have an ED and I know a lot of people here view that with disfavor. However I have always preferred the skinny aesthetic and maintained a BMI 15~17 for probably my entire life.

I first found this sub after looking into MFP forums and r/fit, r/loseit etc. I'd stopped working out for about 4 years and my eating habits had changed since dating a guy who prefers heaping plates of pasta and won't share personal pan pizzas because they're 'single serving's. For the first time in my life I felt my thighs softly brushing against each other as I walked and it freaked me out. I realized I was completely out of shape and needed to take things in hand before they got worse. In July 2015 I was 124lbs clothes @ 33yo, 177cm tall w/32-26-35.5 measurements and 19.5~20" thighs. I'd never owned a scale but I went and bought a body comp scale because BF% matters more to me than weight. Obviously with stats like this I didn't feel comfortable on the normal forums. I tried to talk about my narrow frame on MFP forums but was pretty much told I'm wrong. So here I am. I used to avoid any sites that talked about EDs because I'd been wrongly accused of having one by strangers and my own sister but in the end it's the only type of community whee I feel it's ok to tell people my real weight and measurements.

In regards to maintaining BMI<18 my entire life, /u/Glitter_Cunt had called my attention to a post by /u/Alexa1p regarding the personal choice of remaining underweight lifelong in a healthy way. I'd meant to respond earlier but didn't find time until now and since I think other people would be interested, I decided to just write a new thread about it.

Disclaimer, this is only my experience and I wouldn't expect everyone to agree with them. My experience is about a lifestyle and not about dieting. I really do believe I'm healthy although I'm clearly underweight by BMI standards. The first thing I should establish is that I try to treat my body as kindly as I can. This means the less shock to it the better. So no starvation, no unnecessary medication or pills. So yeah no birth control. I only drink wine or liquor rarely and I hate beer. Oh...and no recreational drugs stronger than pot maybe once a year. Yeah it makes me sound like a stick in the mud but the reality is that I just don't feel I need it. I've been asked before what the hell I'm on because I'm a bit weird and I just say 'air'.

The second thing I want to say is that I have a narrow frame. There are people I've seen who are narrower but I'm pretty narrow already. Having a small frame isn't about being able to circle your wrist. Bones only vary a little in terms of width. If they're too thin they'd snap too easily so that's a really misinformed way to measure your frame. The correct way is the circumference of your ribs, and the width between your hip bones. It's not about the sticks you build your frame with but about the frame you actually build.

I also have a long neck. For example a friend of mine is an inch shorter but our shoulders are the same height and I don't have sloping shoulders. This essentially means I have the body of someone an inch shorter than me so this clearly affects BMI. So in regards to my being healthy at a lower BMI, all indicators point to the fact that I should be ok. Besides which I'm apple shaped and gaining weight in the form of fat probably isn't going to do me any favors.

So I never worried much about food. I felt like I had a healthy relationship with food and I ate when I was hungry. I grew up eating three square plus a snack between lunch and dinner and sometimes dessert after dinner tho that wasn't always the case. Dessert and candy or junk food was always seen as a treat and not part of daily life.

Growing up with Chinese immigrant parents meant family style dinners which was the biggest meal of the day. We'd start with a cup (small bowl) of heavyish soup (200~250cal?). Very nutrient dense but also fairly filling. Then we'd get our bowl of rice which amounted to about .75 cup (165cal) for me and take what we needed or wanted from the communal plates of vegetables and meat dishes (150~200cal). This way we learned how much to take to be satisfied but not achingly full. Usually I only took about 2~3oz of meat and the rest was veggies. So really if we had a normal plate 1/4 would be rice, 1/4 meat and 1/2 veggies or 1/3 of each depending on how I was eating. I remember being so surprised at my first American meal at my cousins(chubby) when 1/2 the plate was meat.

My dinners usually amounted to 500~600cal. Breakfast was a packet of oatmeal or cereal with milk (200~300), lunch was Chinese bakery bread (200~300), snack (100~350). Without dessert my day was at most 1600 and with dessert it was 1800 for an active teenager. I was 5'7" by the time I was 13 and I was rail thin. I remember disliking how my pubic bone stuck out in front of my thighs when I stood straight. I started taking dance when I was 12 and continued for most of my life.

Right now, the last five times I weighed myself the scale has read 109~109.8. Measurements are 31-24-34 with 18" thighs. You can tell from my measurement changes that I'm obviously an apple and pack the fat onto my waist. I track my nutritional intake so that my protein levels are high and I meet my nutritional requirements according to MFP. I don't take supplements but I'm considering taking iron. I keep my intake between 1400~1600 although I've gone up to 1800 once a week or 2500 once in maybe four months. When this happens it really doesn't bother me. I'm having a good time with friends.

Recently looking back at photos right before I stopped working.out I can see I looked a lot leaner with more pronounced muscle tone. I think I actually weighed more than I do now so my goal now is to really push to condition my body. In the past year since I started working out again, I've eased into it by beginning with yoga and Pilates, then I started swimming and HIIT Barre. I'm looking into rock climbing now. My goal is to try to bulk up my unimpressive butt and get some ab definition. I have no goal weight but I will also try to lose another two pounds of fat.

For exercise I like to mix it up. Like I said I'm going to try to do some rock climbing but I also like yoga for maintaining flexibility. I also really like swimming, biking, hip hop and pile dancing. I couldn't do any of this if I were eating less and to be able to rock climb I probably have to eat a little more. So, as you guys can see..I have a pretty normal intake but I'm clearly underweight. I figure once I have an obvious six pack I'll post in r/fit and see if they're ok with my weight.

EDIT: I forgot to point out that my mom always preferred lean meat and I do too. I dislike fatty greasy foods. I'm not a fan of fried foods and I don't drink coffee. Basically sugar is my only vice and I also despise sugary drinks. I love baked goods and bread.

[Intro] Intro Post!
/u/Oyapunn [5'8" | CW: 139.2 | GW:135 | UGW:125 |-8.8]
Created: Thu Aug 4 10:50:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5hkj/intro_post/
Hi everyone, I've been lurking for the past month or so and finally decided to be a little active. I just want to put my background out here to act as motivation of sorts.
I've never had a healthy relationship with food. Growing up in nyc to a single mother with two brothers meant that money was always tight. We rarely had food in the house, and so when we did get food it was always a race to eat as much as you could as fast as you could, since you didn't know how long it would last. This has made it hard for me now to listen to my body when eating; I almost never "feel" full and am used to huge portions. I also have a weird relationship with snacks since I never had them around and I feel like once I start to eat something I can't stop until it's gone(who else grew up on "Eat everything on your plate! There are starving kids out there!"). So basically portion control issues I guess?
Anyway, I always have been a little chubby since the foods that I ate were very very rarely quality (tried a majority of fruits and veggies within the past year or so!) but I really reached my high point in high school. When I started working at 16 my diet became basically pizza and chips. Reached a high weight of about 165 or so. Funny thing is I didn't have a problem with wanting to eat or even body image.
After graduating from high school I went through a period of depression where I basically stopped eating and lost about 20lbs in two months. Around this time I started a high stress job (not hard work at all, the work enviornment was just incredibly toxic) and lost another 10lbs. That put me at my lowest ever at 135 or so. It's funny because I didn't even notice the weight loss, it was like one day I woke up and I was skinny!
I loved how it felt to be tight and skinny with a flat stomach and pronounced hip bones (the abs are just me being dumb ;P) but I still had a messed up relationship with food. As my mental health improved, my appetite increased and I was back to eating large portions of terrible food. Before I knew it, I gained 20lbs!
I never really dieted so I didn't know what I was doing, so I did the only thing I knew to loose weight: not eat.
Im in a better head space than I previously was so it proved harder than I thought it would be, and my relationship just got worse TBH. I found this subreddit a little over a month ago and really started to gain control over how I ate in a way that actually worked for me. That was when I was 148(finally bought a scale so I know exact weight now haha) and have lost 4lbssince then.
It may sound weird but this sub actually helped me veiw food in a way that is almost natural to me and although it is not "healthy", I am eating a lot more veggies and produce and absolutely nothing processed anymore. Right now I do IF with one meal at night and an ec stack to hold me out through the day. I want to hit 135 again, and from there I would like to do 5lb intervals until I'm at 125 (maybe 120? Not sure yet haha). I still find myself doing a lot of trial and error in regards to food but the community is so helpful and supportive and it's really the perfect place for me right now. :) I'm sure no one read through this monster of a wall of text but it feels great to put it out there! Also forgive me for any mistakes with formatting or anything; I literally made my account yesterday and have never used Reddit before this haha.
Anyway thanks for reading and it's great to be a part of the group now!

[Help] Help w. Booze
/u/WeighingDown [5'2" | 113 | 21.41 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 10:47:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5h3c/help_w_booze/
Hey! I'm in love with Black Fly's Vodka Cranberry drink. My only concern is that I have no idea what the calories for it are. MFP has an entry that claims it is 100 cal for 400 mL. This might be reasonable? The drink isn't super sweet but it is at 7% and 400 mL is pretty big. Here is a link to the product: http://www.blackflybooze.com/our-products/vodka-cranberry

The ingredients are listed as: Carbonated water, vodka cane sugar, wild blueberry, cranberry and elderberry juices from concentrate, flavour, citric acid, malic acid, potassium sorbate, potassium benzoate, sodium citrate.

What do you think? Your help is VERY appreciated.


[Rant/Rave] Purchasing my first food scale today
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Thu Aug 4 10:25:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w5cwb/purchasing_my_first_food_scale_today/
I am so excited for this. I feel I won't be as scared about logging my calories now, and more confident. Putting my bed bath and beyond coupon to good use! Now my logs will be notably more accurate. yaaaaay

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 04, 2016
Created: Thu Aug 4 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w58g9/daily_food_diary_august_04_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Discussion] From "Fasting Girls", on Mother/Daughter relationships
/u/rachelcoiling [5'5" | 148 | 24.74 | -61 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:59:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w57xr/from_fasting_girls_on_motherdaughter_relationships/

[Discussion] What is the worst thing you've done for your ED?
/u/useh3rname [4'10| 85| 17.76| -20 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:50:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w565p/what_is_the_worst_thing_youve_done_for_your_ed/
It could be as harmless as throwing away food or blowing off your friends but what's the worst thing you've done just to avoid eating?

[Rant/Rave] My boyfriend has taken control of the laxative..
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:19:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w50la/my_boyfriend_has_taken_control_of_the_laxative/
So, my boyfriend decided I am not taking laxative unless he "allows" it. This happened after he picked some up for me (a 24 count bottle) and they were gone the next day.. and of course, I was asking him to grab more.

He looked at me mortified. "You used them all? Already?" I didn't even know what to say. I wanted to tell him 24 lax in a day was bad, yeah, but nothing compared to a lot of people with ED who can take up to 50-100 a day.

So, he picked some up for me, on a two conditions:

- I can only take 8 at time

This started as "the recommended dose" on the bottle, and I literally laughed and was like "LOL nah, that's not gonna do anything" so we battled it out and compromised at 8.

- I have to ask him before I use them, so he can monitor how many times I'm taking 8 pills.

If I don't use the restroom today, I get to use lax, because he is "allowing" it.

The above sentence really bothers me lol I do NOT like people telling me what to do, especially when it comes to something to do with my own body. But at the same time, I know he's worried and just wants what's best for me, so it's hard to be mad at him. And when he says things like "I just want you to be healthy. I love you, I wanna be with you, and I wanna have babies with you one day. How are you gonna take 24 laxative everyday when you're pregnant?" it makes me really sad, and makes me feel guilty. He's really kind about all of it though. This is the only thing he's finally put his foot down about, and even while doing it, he's been really sensitive to my needs and supportive.

But god does it fucking suck because I wanted to lose more by the 9th (Cali vacay!)

And yes, I know lax are very very very bad. Don't take them if you aren't already dependent and can't go without! I've been taking them for 8 years though, and have issues otherwise.

[Help] I feel so full and bloated but I didn't eat anything???
/u/fxuk [5'3 | CW: 78 lbs | GW: 75 lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:12:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4z7x/i_feel_so_full_and_bloated_but_i_didnt_eat/
It has been like this for two days straight. I haven't eaten much but I feel so sick and like I had a six course meal and I feel bloated. What is wrong with me???

[Intro] Soo here goes my first post
/u/bonniestormcloud [5'2 |CW Whale | BMI Hippo | WL -14.8 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 09:08:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4ykn/soo_here_goes_my_first_post/

[Rant/Rave] I'm 1.8 lbls away from my UGW but I'm terrified.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Aug 4 07:54:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4lv5/im_18_lbls_away_from_my_ugw_but_im_terrified/
After several days of waiting for some water weight to shed from a night of junk food and booze , I'm back to 106.8. But I'm so scared to maintain... Also I think that I am still holding onto some water as I feel bonier than last week I was at 106.5? If that makes sense...

I DONT want to let myself go under 105 , it sucks because double digits look so... Dainty. Ugh.

Idk if I can do this. Maintaining seems so mathematical and difficult.

Sorry for the rant I'm just super scared. Idk why.

:( Thursdays are usually my favourite day as I get to go grocery shopping with my bf and we always have loads of fun...


[Rant/Rave] Seeing an ED Nutritionist/Therapist today. Terrified.
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 07:54:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4lt5/seeing_an_ed_nutritionisttherapist_today_terrified/
My boyfriend forced me to do this. I'm not ready. I'm having a ton on anxiety that I'm going to be her fattest patient. If she sees people all day that have a BMI of 16 or less, she's probably going to think I'm a whale in comparison and not even take me seriously.
I really don't want to go but they'll charge me anyway if I skip now. I'm thinking I should lie and say I have binge eating disorder and then never go back. I don't want her to think something along the lines of "oh you have anorexia? Well you're not very good at it, obviously."
I'm also scared that I'll discover that I don't have BDD at all and I'm exactly as big as I think I am.
And lastly, I don't want to get better yet. I'm not thin enough. Not even close. Everytime I recover I gain so much.

[Discussion] One day at a time
/u/YourChinaDoll [5'1" | SW: 169 | CW: 130.4 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 07:42:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4jyp/one_day_at_a_time/
Good morning, lovelies.
After an awful b/p session last night (McDonald's pancakes, how could you betray me like that?) I'm taking this one day at a time. I'm not going to worry about going out to eat tomorrow (although if anyone knows any low calorie restaurants feel free to make a suggestion!). I'm just going to focus on today. I'll have an energy drink for breakfast (10 cal), an energy drink for lunch (10 cal), and another one for dinner (another 10 cal). Before I go into work tonight I can have a piece of ginger candy (12 cal) and a glass of juice (5 cal). I'll occupy myself by organizing and reading. I can behave for one day. What does your day's plan look like?

[Goal] My thighs don't touch when I walk now..
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Thu Aug 4 07:38:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w4jfb/my_thighs_dont_touch_when_i_walk_now/
...and I just can't get used to it. I feel like I'm crab walking everywhere. This is hilariously weird 😮

[Help] Any weight track apps?
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 06:04:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w46cs/any_weight_track_apps/
You that put them into cute charts. I have Libra but it's very boring.

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support August 04, 2016
Created: Thu Aug 4 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w464t/weekly_emotional_support_august_04_2016/

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Discussion] Anyone here have to struggle with abusive parents growing up/struggle with them now?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Aug 4 05:20:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w41l6/anyone_here_have_to_struggle_with_abusive_parents/
Mostly curious. Mainly wondering how common it is, in spaces like this.. but also, wanna talk about it? Need distractions from my own, feel less alone I guess. It's my mother for me. Gaslighting today, yay! It's so normal that it's just a 'thing' now, pretty much daily routine whenever I interact with her, but it still gets to me somewhat ofc. (My Dads a winner though, if not a bit overly strict with high expectations.. but he's kind and loving xD)

[Goal] Finally making enough progress to feel confident to post here!
Created: Thu Aug 4 05:11:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w40jr/finally_making_enough_progress_to_feel_confident/

[Discussion] Let's talk about frame size
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Thu Aug 4 05:03:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w3zsl/lets_talk_about_frame_size/
What does frame size mean to you? Is it about proportions, muscle mass, or something else? How does it affect your goals?

I think I have a pretty damn big frame - short, squat, and square, with enough muscle to look really thick. I'm barely underweight and from a distance I look really solid and bulky but up close my upper body especially has bones and tendons popping out all over and it looks so dumb and obvious. But I can circle my wrists with inches of overlap so wtf?

I feel like I can lose weight easily when I put my mind to it but I'll never ever look the way I want to - willowy and slender. I can be smaller but it's ugly and unnatural looking and it drives me crazy that the best I'll ever be able to do is this weird lean loaf look, more starving dachshund than elegant greyhound iykwim.

[Discussion] DAE wake up during the night because of food anxiety for the next day?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 03:04:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w3nmq/dae_wake_up_during_the_night_because_of_food/
It's 5AM, I've been awake since 3 because I'm nervous about eating today. I usually fast all day until dinner, and walk at least 2 miles and burn off some 160~ calories, so I don't feel so guilty about eating a higher calorie dinner (like 300 for dinner and then a pint of halo top).

But my mom has taken off a lot of days from work this week, meaning I have to have precious mother-daughter bonding time. Pheh.

So I can't do my usual fasting/exercising plan and that makes me ridiculously anxious. I can't sleep even though I've taken Zzzquil... :-( how do you guys handle this mess?

I'm scared the anxiety + lack of sleep + inability to plan will lead to a binge and I already fucked up enough over the weekend to not be able to afford more high calorie days... I just wish I was alone so I could just stick to my usual plan ;_;

[Discussion] Saw something wonderful getting out of the shower today: my very own collarbones!
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Thu Aug 4 02:49:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w3m21/saw_something_wonderful_getting_out_of_the_shower/

[Rant/Rave] I have to get in bikini today
Created: Thu Aug 4 00:39:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w37ic/i_have_to_get_in_bikini_today/
And I'm honestly terrified. I don't want to, nobody wants to see the whale I've let myself become again.. Oh god 😞

[Rant/Rave] Coworker started calling me "flaca" (skinny in Spanish). Brightened my day
/u/Saltycook [5'4"| 128# |22.4| -35# | Female]
Created: Thu Aug 4 00:06:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w33rj/coworker_started_calling_me_flaca_skinny_in/
I didn't think I was that skinny with such an average bmi, but I guess I look thinner lately. Hope you all are having a great day!

[Tip] Are you stuck in a binge cycle?
Created: Wed Aug 3 23:57:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w32s9/are_you_stuck_in_a_binge_cycle/

[Rant/Rave] I feel AMAZING.
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [156 cm | 52.5 kg | 22.45 | -6 kg | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 23:31:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2zqv/i_feel_amazing/
I decided to fast today because I've been feeling crappy lately. Normally I don't exercise on less than 1200 kcal because it makes me tired and dizzy, but today I went 20 kms on nothing but zero calorie energy drinks!

I feel so *light.*

[Rant/Rave] I am happy :)
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 22:36:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2sx4/i_am_happy/
The world is so beautiful, with so many things to do and people to love and I'm just happy right now :)

I hope you guys are happy too. How is everyone?

[Discussion] Does anyone else look in a mirror and not recognize themselves?
/u/cuts-and-cats [5'2 | 115 GW: 100 | 21 | -25 lbs |F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 22:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2ovk/does_anyone_else_look_in_a_mirror_and_not/
This has been happening to me in the last couple months. I will be in the bathroom washing my hands and I look up into the mirror and my face doesn't look like mine. I don't think that it's just from weightloss and slimming down, my face looks unrecognizable. It's terryfing. Does anyone else have any experience with this or am I insane?
Sorry on mobile can't flair!

[Other] I bugged them about not having Halo Top stocked for weeks until I walk in today and see this... all $3.99!!
/u/lyxil [5' 0"| 21.18 | cw:103 | gw:95 | ugw:90 | f]
Created: Wed Aug 3 20:12:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2952/i_bugged_them_about_not_having_halo_top_stocked/

[Goal] I'm halfway there!!
Created: Wed Aug 3 20:09:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w28np/im_halfway_there/
Two months ago I started at 190. Today I'm 159, finally in the 150's!! My goal weight is 120, what I was in highschool. I just wanted to share my excitement!!

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I literally can't eat without bingeing?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Wed Aug 3 20:03:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w27tv/rant_i_literally_cant_eat_without_bingeing/
Or at least that's what it feels like anyway.. Not always major binges but enough for me to now be scared to step on the scales. Doesn't help that on top of this I feel like I've lost my motivation to fast so the binges are pretty much constant. I don't know what to do , please someone help me if you can :(

They've changed the menu, and I've already messed up today:(
Created: Wed Aug 3 19:58:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2731/theyve_changed_the_menu_and_ive_already_messed_up/

[Tip] For those who are having a hard time at fasting, here's a sample guide I drafted!
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 19:46:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w256w/for_those_who_are_having_a_hard_time_at_fasting/

[Help] What's the most filling meal I can have for under 300 calories?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Wed Aug 3 19:27:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w22jg/whats_the_most_filling_meal_i_can_have_for_under/
I had McDonald's breakfast this morning (convincing myself it would help with my hangover) which put me at almost 700 calories for the day, and I don't want to go over 1000. I need to have something for dinner that's under 300 but will fill me up enough to not lead to a binge. :(

[Discussion] Went from obsessivley weighing up to 20 times a day, to being afraid to get on a scale. Thank you, ED brain.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Aug 3 19:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w2295/went_from_obsessivley_weighing_up_to_20_times_a/
I think the title says it all.

But I'm wondering has anyone else experienced this?

I want to get a happy scale app to do the weight chart thingy, but too scared to weigh myself. Probably PTSD from my weight going back up to 112lbs for a day lmao

[Rant/Rave] This is stupid but
Created: Wed Aug 3 18:40:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1voa/this_is_stupid_but/

[Rant/Rave] How does your job influence your ED/physique?
Created: Wed Aug 3 18:35:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1uzh/how_does_your_job_influence_your_edphysique/
(On mobile so will flair ASAP, sorry mods!)

I conserve about 1,000 calories worth of alcohol out of my 1,400-1,600 calorie intake. Since I started doing this (for emotional, physical, and alcoholic reasons), I have lost a lot of muscle mass.

I had peaked at 160 lb at 5'5" three years ago, lost the weight, and started bodybuilding. Exactly a year ago I stopped bodybuilding and started restricting for very emotional reasons. I love it! The restriction has brought me down to an average 127lbs with 125 being my goal weight.

This loss in weight has given me everything I wanted. A HUGE promotion, adoration from so many people (strangers and friends), some awkward jealousy, but mostly an unspoken degree of respect. Sucks, but I figured my whole life that skinny = respect anyways. Well, here it is.

Indeed, here it is. My job is very physical. I am lifting forty lbs+ of product regularly. When I was overweight and then working out - no problem. It was such a pleasure. Since I have restricted...it's become more difficult. No one has or ever would comment on this. I straight up say "I'm too weak to make this display right now, please do it" (which is within my title, love my coworkers.)

Just feeling shitty bc I have like a 40-55 day cycle and I tend to eat soo many more calories on top of intermittent binges (3,000 cal at most) when I near my period. And then I get strong again. And then I feel great. But I'm eating a lot. And how much am I truly burning? And why am I so satisfied when the period is over (delayed as it may be), yet agonizing so much when I know it's scrambling my hormonal signals?

Does anyone else experience this? I'm sorry to complain. I used to love being ripped, and I do enjoy my strength, but I want to be dainty..

[Meme/Humor] When you go to binge on something and somebody else already ate it
/u/not_an_actual_egg [5'3" | 126lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 18:20:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1smr/when_you_go_to_binge_on_something_and_somebody/

[Meme/Humor] My week so far.. And it's only Wednesday
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 112 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 17:33:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1kzp/my_week_so_far_and_its_only_wednesday/

[Rant/Rave] HOLY WTF?! Not today binge, not today...
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 17:13:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1hqv/holy_wtf_not_today_binge_not_today/
(Possible trigger warning)

I can't believe I swerved a binge like that! I was day dreaming about a Mcdonalds Hot and Spicy all. day. long.

I finally decided to get just the sandwich. I have been pretty good lately and I just won't eat for the rest of the day.

Well that quickly turned into, "well fuck it I'll just go all out and reset tomorrow. I just want it so bad". After work I'm on the way to McD's and I'm daydreaming of all the menu options. I then think about getting some sort of frapp or McFLurry and I was like, "Mmmmm that's overkill". Then suddenly my cravings all undid themselves!

Instead I headed to the grocery store and got baby spring mix, chicken broth, pickles, and the infamous halo top I've been hearing so much about.

HALO TOP WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL OF MY LIIIIFFFEEEE?! OoOo Watch me, watch me. Oo Watch me, watch me. Ooo watch me, watch me OO OO OO OOOOOO!

[Rant/Rave] I hate being associated with food.
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 17:12:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1hnw/i_hate_being_associated_with_food/
My grandmother went grocery shopping for us today while I was at work, and my sister helped unpack the food. Apparently she said to my grandma, "oh, salamanderqueen is going to be happy, look at all this food!"

I know she didn't mean it maliciously, but damn that hurt. I hate always being the girl people expect to be eating all the time, who people expect to be excited at the prospect of tons of food. Even when I get skinny, I'm scared people will still see me as the fat girl who loves food :(

Tomorrow is a fast day.

Therapist just focuses on the ED?
Created: Wed Aug 3 16:54:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w1ek8/therapist_just_focuses_on_the_ed/

[Help] Is there any difference between the two?
Created: Wed Aug 3 16:23:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w196u/is_there_any_difference_between_the_two/

[Rant/Rave] Eating like a "normal" person. Ugh.
Created: Wed Aug 3 16:02:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w15cr/eating_like_a_normal_person_ugh/

[Other] So I think I figured out the album thing!!
Created: Wed Aug 3 15:32:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0zs8/so_i_think_i_figured_out_the_album_thing/

So I think I figured out the album thing
Created: Wed Aug 3 15:30:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0zku/so_i_think_i_figured_out_the_album_thing/

[Rant/Rave] Caffeine is my whole life
Created: Wed Aug 3 15:12:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0w6p/caffeine_is_my_whole_life/

[Tip] PSMF
Created: Wed Aug 3 15:11:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0vyi/psmf/
I do keto plus restriction, so I decided to check out psmf. I really don't see much of a difference between that sub and this one for some things. They all restrict and talk about ec stacking. Either they're all disordered or we're more normal than we thought ;)

[Help] Does this TDEE calculator seem accurate to you?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 3 14:09:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0jxx/does_this_tdee_calculator_seem_accurate_to_you/

[Thinspo] Stranger Things
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:48:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0fzu/stranger_things/

[Other] My year so far...
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:42:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0eum/my_year_so_far/

[Intro] First post, maybe tmi
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:37:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0dwo/first_post_maybe_tmi/
This is my first time posting here after a long time of lurking and reading for support. I finally decided to post today after being too shy because after weeks of eating clean and healthy I woke up with Nutella stuck under my acrylics ( hilarious but disgusting!) because during a munchie binge at a party last night I ate tortilla chips, those good fried ones, dipped in Nutella. I hit rock bottom and today is a new day

[Help] Death to Chuy's Mexican restaurant.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:31:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0coz/death_to_chuys_mexican_restaurant/
Going there tonight for my boyfriend's sister's birthday.

I live in Oklahoma, so his family is very pro-meat/eating until you can't breathe.

Can't find one goddamn thing on this menu under 300 calories, besides a dry salad that they will all make fun of me for.

Ugh. Sorry for the rant.

If you guys have ideas, lemme know please :<

First post, possibly tmi!
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:27:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0bwa/first_post_possibly_tmi/

[Goal] Have gone three days without food, just want to share my plan for the month :)
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:22:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0azo/have_gone_three_days_without_food_just_want_to/
Fasting Plan: 1 hour of allowed foods, 23 hours of water or green tea


* Week 1: Walk 5 miles, Run 5 miles at 7am before work / 45 sec plank & side planks, 5 good push ups before bed
* Week 2: Walk 5 miles, Run 5 miles at 7am before work / 1 min plank & side planks, 10 good push ups before bed
* Week 3: Walk 7.5 miles, Run 7.5 miles at 7am before work / 1:15 min plank & side planks, 15 good push ups before bed
* Week 4: Walk 7.5 miles, Run 7.5 miles at 7am before work / 1:30 min plank & side planks, 20 good push ups before bed

Allowed: Bouillon cubes at 5 calories and zero calorie sports drinks (Propel and Powerade Zero)

Emergency Plan:

* (Pick one)EC stack, Diet Coke and sugar free gum or mint, pickles
* window shopping online especially on Sephora, Urban Outfitters, etc.
* clean my room
* make a list of things I want to do for myself when I reach my goal weight, like splurging on a manicure, get a nice healthy dinner in the city, think of all the things I want to do during the school year (join clubs, go surf more, maybe start dating lol)

Maintenance (every other week): Miralax, Farmhouse Culture Gut Shots, biotin (every day), vitamin C

I've lost about 7 lbs already (guessing it's water weight and little fat), but I'm planning to break the fast in about 14 days before I have to go to to this tech conference in San Francisco!

tbh the first two days were pretty shitty, but now everything looks gross to me. Literally three days change everything lol

[Discussion] Psychiatrist said I have BDD. Are any of you dealing with it?
/u/_saisonenenfer [175cm | not thin :( | M]
Created: Wed Aug 3 13:22:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w0auy/psychiatrist_said_i_have_bdd_are_any_of_you/
Not sure how I feel about it honestly

[Discussion] Anyone else watch Stranger Things?
/u/Shelbolovesnate [5'2" | 100 | 18.95 | 35 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 12:34:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4w01os/anyone_else_watch_stranger_things/
I came across a thread where the majority of people were saying Nancy was too thin and looked anorexic/like she has an eating disorder. It's no surprise that I think she is superperfectgoals. :P

Also, this show is amazing.

[Help] I need to stay strong
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 12:11:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzwxq/i_need_to_stay_strong/
I'm taking my kid to visit my parents for 4 days. I usually end up overeating or binging there for a variety of reasons. I'm terrified I'm going to screw up everything I've done lately and come back full of self loathing. How do you deal with restricting when you're out of your comfort space? I'm really hoping I have time to run to the store today to get Diet Coke and tuna packs.

On mobile, can't flair

[Goal] Stepped on the scale this morning to find that I'm 12 lbs less than a week ago!!!
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Aug 3 11:38:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzqkm/stepped_on_the_scale_this_morning_to_find_that_im/

[Rant/Rave] fun things that people say
Created: Wed Aug 3 11:17:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzmgh/fun_things_that_people_say/
the other day, a guy from work was trying to pick me up because i was too short to see something, and he said something like 'woah, you're heavier than i expected' and it's been playing over and over in my head which is nice

oh another good one was when another coworker commented on how much cake i ate during a really bad binge day

anybody else got anecdotes like this?

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel this way?
Created: Wed Aug 3 10:49:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzgzo/does_anyone_else_feel_this_way/
I didn't eat lunch or dinner yesterday. Had a boring lonely night so I partook in two late night cookies. Fortunately today I only had a handful of almonds and then got into an altercation with my boyfriend so I have lost my appetite for the day.

I'm grateful for self loathing and stress. It helps me maintain my goals. Am I alone in this?

[Discussion] I know that I will be drinking tonight. What do you do in this situation?
Created: Wed Aug 3 10:39:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vzf4y/i_know_that_i_will_be_drinking_tonight_what_do/
Do you exercise more beforehand? Do you fast? Do you just not count the alcohol?

For reference my drink is simply vodka + soda water. 100-160 cals depending on how they pour the drink.

I've been fasting for days already so I know I will be feeling it after a drink or two at most.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 03, 2016
Created: Wed Aug 3 10:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vz8d9/daily_food_diary_august_03_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Discussion] Competitive with friends?
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Wed Aug 3 09:31:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vz2js/competitive_with_friends/
Has anyone else had that feeling where when you and a group of friends go out to eat and you eat the least amount, and you feel like you have won? Similarly, when you go to the gym and your friend decides not to join you on that day, do you feel superior? Idk if this is problem, and I definitely love my friends with all my heart, but especially with my closest friend who is also very into dieting and fitness, I feel like we're constantly competing without meaning to.

[Help] What low calorie foods should I get on a Target haul?
/u/Chaosncalculation [5'4" | bulimic whale | -7 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 09:24:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vz1ea/what_low_calorie_foods_should_i_get_on_a_target/
I'm going to Target today and I have no reservations about spending a lot of money to get low calorie (sub 250) frozen meals or snacks. I want to completely stock my pantry with low cal foods. Do you all have any recommendations?

Edit: thanks everyone for the suggestions. I bought lots of yogurt (80 cal, 12g protein) some tuna and salmon packets, outshine bars (25 cal and 6 carbs!!!!!), egg whites, 45 cal bread, PB2 (because I'm a peanut butter addict) and lots of lean cuisines that are 250 cal or under (the lowest one was 160)!

[Goal] 30 Days, 500cal/day (max) fast
Created: Wed Aug 3 08:51:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyvak/30_days_500calday_max_fast/

[Goal] Tiny victories, but so proud
/u/tinyme23 [5'3" | 146 | 25.9 | -25 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 08:45:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyu8j/tiny_victories_but_so_proud/
I've been kinda plateauing after my first 10 lbs--trying to make sure it wasn't just fasting (water) weight that dropped--and trying not to net more than 600 cals a day.

I had a date last night, and knew I would also be drinking (I really need to cut out alcohol next). Here are my tiny victories yesterday.

1. Woke up late for work and got written up, didn't eat to assuage my feelings

2. Boss unexpectedly invited me along to a work lunch thing, invited to pay for my lunch *and* insisted when I said I wasn't hungry. I still didn't get anything but water.

3. Was home for several hours before/after a new job interview and didn't eat to deal with nerves (I killed the interview. I got the job guys!!!)

4. Hung out with my best friend, didn't drink anything (usually we have wine), and didn't eat a bite when her bf came home & they dug into their dinner of takeout chicken wings. She's skinny as a pixie, but works out a lot. Her bf doesn't...

5. Didn't even finish my sushi rolls or 2nd drink on the date.

6. **DIDN'T GO HOME WITH HIM.** Guys this is huge, he invited me back and I really didn't want to go home with him, but usually my self-control is iffy bc low self-esteem and impulsiveness :/

7. Instead, on the drive home I put my calories in and realized it was 700. So I played 75 minutes of DDR and got my net cals back down to 500.

8. I couldn't sleep and was hungry, so I just watched eps of My 600 lb Life until I fell asleep. Guys, it's so hard to eat when you see these people with food addictions stuffing their faces, bemoaning their ridiculous and disgusting lives, and acting like children. I highly recommend it.

I was rewarded this morning by the scale finally moving. I think I'm going to fast again today, since I work from home :D

[Rant/Rave] I'm so ashamed & I feel like a failure.
/u/milly_theale [5'0" | CW 110 | GW 97 | 26F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:58:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vylx7/im_so_ashamed_i_feel_like_a_failure/
So, this is a depressing post, but I just need to vent and I feel like this is the only place I can be 100% honest.

I'm out of control and I HATE it. I promised/pleaded/bargained with myself not to binge/purge in August. But, last night, my partner had a late meeting and I realized I had 3 glorious hours of freedom.

I'm so ashamed. Instead of going to the gym and sticking with my meal plan, I stopped at Trader Joe's on the way home and loaded my cart with binge foods -- graham crackers, cheesy popcorn, trail mix, lemon squares. Came home, said goodbye to my partner, then immediately smoked a bowl and proceeded to go HAM in the kitchen. Purge (never quite well enough), rinse, repeat.

*What the fuck is wrong with me?* I used to be so good -- following my meal plan and working out and LOSING. And now, here I am, still 10+ lbs away from my goal and I feel so defeated. My face is a puffy wreck, my legs are bloated and heavy, and my stomach has got a pooch from purging 3 out of the last 6 days. I weighed in at 112.4 lbs this morning :'(

After a bad purge, I always say, "This is the last time" or "I can't go on like this." And maybe that works for a few days/weeks/months, but eventually that little animal part of my brain wakes up again and I completely lose control.

When I'm losing weight and have my goal in sight, it's easier to stay focused. But here, at my heaviest weight in months, I just feel hopeless.

❤️ Thanks for listening ❤️

[Other] Requested a while ago, finally delivering! Bunny pictures!!
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:53:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyl7z/requested_a_while_ago_finally_delivering_bunny/

[Discussion] DAE feel like a fraud?
/u/Skinniminnie [5'3" | 157.0 lbs | 27.6 BMI | -12 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:37:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyil9/dae_feel_like_a_fraud/
Looking at everyone elses posts I worry that when you all see mine, you might not think I am disordered enough to be here. Because how could someone recover and then a few years later fall off at a lesser level?

This sounds ridiculous and I don't mean like you think I would willingly put my body through this but everyone seems to have real problems and sometimes I feel like mine are so selfish and weight-centered.

I understand this post is jumbled and might not make too much sense but I need to get this out.

I don't fit in with the normal eaters like friends and family because I have such a skewed way of thinking about cooking and healthy eating which to be truthful is probably not nutritional enough.

For example, I mentioned to my husband the other day that I was going to start eating healthy again and restrict certain foods from my diet to eat clean and he started telling me thay my clean eating is super unhealthy because I dont get enough nutrients or calories when in reality I eat maybe half of what I say I do.

On the other hand tho, there are communities like you guys that have mild to extreme cases and I'm terrified that one day I'll get a comment that I don't belong here because I'm not "sick" enough or someone will think that I'm just here for a quick weight loss solution (which I'm not).

This is the first group since 2009 that I've truly felt welcomed in. I stopped perusing these communities on the internet and feeling alone because end of 2009, I was told I was faking and could have disordered eating let alone a diagnosed eating disorder because I was too big and I didn't fast enough even though I restricted to below 500 calories daily and was at a 19 BMI.

Small rant and worrisome thoughts.

On the bright side, day two of my fast and I'm sick with a raw throat so food wont even be tempting today.

[Rant/Rave] i'm slowly but steadily gaining weight gahhh
/u/Triptukhos [5'0" | 103.6 lbs| 21.31| +5 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyhnv/im_slowly_but_steadily_gaining_weight_gahhh/
nearly 10 lbs so far!! every time i take an anti anxiety pill (seroquel) my appetite skyrockets for the rest of the day and the following day and i have no self control it's killing me

[Tip] Wanted to share my super filling-low cal Mexican, and Chinese food inspired dishes!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Aug 3 07:17:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyffe/wanted_to_share_my_super_fillinglow_cal_mexican/
So, Mexican and Chinese (American Versions, of course) are my weakness. I crave these CONSTANTLY. So, here's what I did to combat the cravings.

First -

Mexican-ish dish for 160 cal:

- 2 cup cauliflower rice (50 cal)
- Something like 5 tblsp chunky salsa (50 cal)
- Generously estimating 3 tblsp guilt-free guac from Trader Joe's (60 cal)

If you have a higher calorie allotment, you could throw in some shredded cheese, low fat sour cream, and maybe some chicken or shrimp? (or for vegetarians, Chickenless Strips at Trader Joe's are 110 calories for 78g, and they're pretty dang good!)

Second -

Chinese food-ish dish: 130 cal

- 2 cup cauliflower rice (50 cal)
- 2 cup frozen stir fry veggie mix (70 cal)
- Generously estimating 1 tblsp low sodium soy sauce (10 cal)

At this point, I add to the base depending on how my day has gone, and how hungry I am. I mean, that's a lot of food, but hey.. a girl's gotta feel disgustingly full sometimes.

I've two different things to choose from. I've got some mini chicken lime wontons from Trader Joe's (50 cal for 4 wontons) they're decent sized, and help with my doughey cravings. If that makes sense haha And then I've got pre-made sushi from the store that's 30 cal a piece, but I think I'm gonna pop the avocado pieces out to save a bit of calories (not sure how many, but yeah) and have 3 pieces at a time to help curb the chewy-rice cravings.

I hope these aren't "duh" recipes lol I just know I'm super lazy and not a good cook, so these all are microwave friendly and quick! Plus super filling!

Quick tip: I cook the cauliflower rice in the microwave, slightly moist, in tub-o-ware with the lid barely cracked off. This gives it the most rice texture I've found so far.

[Other] Binging v.s. Fasting.
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:51:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vybia/binging_vs_fasting/

[Help] Need help choosing a scale
/u/ana_bunnnnnnn [5'3 | 106.6 | 19.41 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:44:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyakc/need_help_choosing_a_scale/
Hi all,

So I am traveling to the Caribbean for four months, and am starting to pack my suitcases.

I am wondering if anyone has any recommendations (Canada or online) for a light weight and simple scale (for me, not food).

I really want to bring one with me, as I like to weigh myself about 10 times a day. I just need it to be compact/light so I can put it in my checked luggage and not worry about going over the suitcase weight limit.


[Rant/Rave] I know I'm skinny, but I FEEL disgustingly huge
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:43:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vyabc/i_know_im_skinny_but_i_feel_disgustingly_huge/
I know this is a hallmark ED symptom, but I just want to get this out of my system.

I get really bloated really easily. Like, I look like I'm a few months pregnant too often. I know I'm just bloated, but I feel fat. I look at all the thinspo here, and I think "I wish I looked like that." But I know objectively I already do (well, not the emaciated girls that are sometimes posted). I have crazy collarbones. I can see my ribs on my upper chest sometimes. But my fucking bloated gut makes me feel enormous. I feel like my belly is giant. I know it's not. But it feels giant to me. God. I'm getting cavities. I'm losing my hair. I have mild anemia. But it's still so fucking hard to want to eat. I had 250 calories for breakfast, and I'm freaking the fuck out. That's a NORMAL amount for a breakfast. But I feel like it's too much. I'm at a maintainable weight right now. But I want so badly to see my ribs on my chest ALL the time, to have a thigh gap (I have narrow hips so I still don't have one), to have model proportions, to not have a fucking gut. Maybe I'll just get lipo. Damnit. I hate this. I'm trying to recover, so I'm making/allowing myself to eat when all I want to do is be hungry.

[Other] today's poem-a-day...
/u/texas_native [5'6" | 118 | 19.05 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:35:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy99a/todays_poemaday/

[Tip] Idk if it'll help anyone else
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:20:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy74g/idk_if_itll_help_anyone_else/
But lately I've been that girl walking around with a gallon jug of water and compulsively reminding myself to drink as much if it as I can throughout the day.

[Help] Is there a site I can use as a fasting timer?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:05:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy54s/is_there_a_site_i_can_use_as_a_fasting_timer/
I know there are a few fasting app timers out there, but I was wondering if there was a website version somewhere. I don't care if its to count down to the end of my fast or just time it, but searching for a site like it is hard since "fast" is a pretty general word. Anyone have any suggestions?

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday August 03, 2016
Created: Wed Aug 3 06:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy4sl/way_to_go_wednesday_august_03_2016/

This is the weekly achievement thread for August 03, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Intro] New here, hit a low, err high point I just need inspiration
/u/ClashTenniShoes [6'M | 212 lb| 28.8 BMI | -11 lb | UGW 190]
Created: Wed Aug 3 05:35:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vy1j1/new_here_hit_a_low_err_high_point_i_just_need/
6' M, and Sunday night I hit the highest weight I've been in a couple of years. It was so discouraging because I've been running consistently since April and been on a push-ups and squats program as well.

I started restricting again and it feels great. Dropped from 223 Sunday night down to 215 this morning.

It's really hard trying to balance health for me. I either binge binge binge which is unhealthy, or I just don't eat and engage in exercise bulimia which is also unhealthy.

I was fat as a kid, shredded as a teen, really fat in college, got down into the 140s in my mid to late 20's, fat in law school, and now I'm chubby.

How do you find the middle ground?

[Goal] Picking up a sketchbook from Hobby Lobby, so I had to check out the mirror section, just for a quick peak. Satisfied, but need more.
Created: Wed Aug 3 05:08:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vxylo/picking_up_a_sketchbook_from_hobby_lobby_so_i_had/

[Rant/Rave] I've never felt so low.
/u/08070427 [5'5" | 127.5 | 21.3 | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Aug 3 05:00:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vxxms/ive_never_felt_so_low/
I was doing so good. Then I had the worst binge of my life and undid any progress I made. What the fuck is wrong with me. I'm too fucking depressed to even work out even though I know it will make me feel better.


[Rant/Rave] So tired of purging.
/u/iwillbesmall [5'6" | 134lbs | F | GW: 99]
Created: Wed Aug 3 01:47:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vxdbo/so_tired_of_purging/
I'm so sick of purging. I basically throw up everything that isn't liquid. My throat hurts. I'm tired. My skin is dry. I wish I could restrict but I'm so fucking weak and just eat and throw it up. I want to never eat. But I do. It's like a habit. I hate it. I'm worried about my skin. And my teeth. My throat. I keep saying this to myself. I used to be able to fast for days at a time. I don't know when I became so damn weak. I barely lose any weight anymore. I'm ready for a change.

[Tip] Have a recipe that calls for brown sugar? Substitute a 0 cal sweetener + blackstrap molasses.
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 23:41:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwzpy/have_a_recipe_that_calls_for_brown_sugar/
For dinner tonight I made a dish that called for 1/4 cup brown sugar (nearly 140 calories). Instead, I used 6 packets of truvia (0 cal) and 1/4 Tbsp blackstrap molasses (13 cal). 125 calories saved for no difference in taste!

The recipe also called for 2.5 Tbsp of peanut butter (~240 calories) and I instead subbed in 2.5 Tbsp of PB2 (~56 cal) so almost another 200 calories saved there, too! (For the record, this was for the entire recipe, which I only had 1/4 of).

For brown sugar in marinades, you can also substitute in a diet soda like diet root beer for a 0 cal option. :)

[Discussion] Who fasts after a binge to "fix" it? Does it work? How long do you fast for?
Created: Tue Aug 2 23:22:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwxll/who_fasts_after_a_binge_to_fix_it_does_it_work/
So, I had a binge today and ate around 2200 calories for the day or so, which is DISGUSTING for me. I was thinking of fasting for a day or two, but I was wondering if it really works or not? Who has experience with that?

[Discussion] Never Binge Again : Thank you!!
/u/cannibale101 [5'5 | HW:150smtg | CW:120,8 | GW:118 | 28F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 22:53:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwu2v/never_binge_again_thank_you/
Hi all! I just finished reading Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingston, after i saw someone talk about it on the sub. Just wanted to say a huge thank you!! I feel so much more powerful and relieved from being reminded and showed that i am the master of myself, not the food and not any inner voice telling me i need anything else than myself to be happy.
Thank you!!

At some extent, it makes me think of two things : when i decided to go vegan and when i decided to cut off all contact with my abusive ex. For veganism, after doing my research and finding answers to my questions, i concluded that there was no other option but to adopt an entirely vegan lifestyle, and that was simply it : the cheese addiction and the change of habits appeared as minor compared to the much higher cause adn they turned out, in fact, pretty easy to overcome. For my ex, regardless of the reasons that led me to keep the relationship alive, it was toxic and i just had to stop feeding it. The rest -all the trauma, all the introspection, all the subconscious auto-destructive pulsions- will be processed and taken care of in time. Same goes for food addiction : it does not make sense to binge when i perfectly know it won't fill the emotional void AND it will make me feel even worse afterwards.

Maybe, after all, permanent lifestyle decisions don't have to be taken with lingering debates and discussions between one's conscience and pulsions. Now let's hope i can actually apply this new feeling of strenght to reality :p

Just wanted to share my experience and some thoughts. Thanks again!

[Rant/Rave] Starting to realize a huge binge trigger...
Created: Tue Aug 2 21:27:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwj0f/starting_to_realize_a_huge_binge_trigger/

[Goal] I feel so proud of myself...
/u/Skinniminnie [5'3" | 157.0 lbs | 27.6 BMI | -12 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 20:41:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vwc8j/i_feel_so_proud_of_myself/
I've been doing really good today. Doing an all liquid fast (in liquids I've had about 350 calories total today) and I have been able to resist candies and donuts and calories galore in the form of food I typically cave into.

But ever since my husband left for work stuff, I've been so motivated to lose this weight and destroy the fat on my body.

I can do this. Tomorrow I am aiming for fewer calories than today. Closer to 200.

So I'm proud of myself. 45 lbs to my UGW but right now just aiming for 10 down by the end of the month at minimum. Shooting low just in case I end up binging at some point.

[Goal] I decided to binge but then changed my mind! :D
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 20:10:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vw7s2/i_decided_to_binge_but_then_changed_my_mind_d/
I was on my way to get a shit ton of pastries at a local coffee shop, but, on the way there, I had several thoughts that helped me change my mind:

* I was wearing a small dress that was tighter than usual. I didn't want it to get even tighter.
* There was a new girl in group therapy today with BED. I don't want my attempted recovery from anorexia to turn into that.
* I thought about how I ate semi-normally today. This originally is what triggered my decision to binge, but then I was thought to myself "well, stopping now instead of eating 1000+ calories is better for me, and I can do it." So I did!

I'm so happy. Yes, I ate ~300 calories of unplanned food today, but that's better than 1300+. This is the first time I've changed my mind about a binge. I just decided I wanted to be in control. Because I felt so out of control in that moment of deciding to binge. But I AM in control.

[Discussion] I've had exactly 420 calories today, plus a joint-- any other stoners on ProED?
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Tue Aug 2 20:00:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vw6e6/ive_had_exactly_420_calories_today_plus_a_joint/
I've been smoking weed for about 3 years, and started during a period of recovery, so being retriggered into restrictive eating + the munchies has been a particularly difficult adjustment... Does anyone else have experience with this? How does weed affect your intake?

[Discussion] I didn't realize what a coping mechanism my ED was
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Tue Aug 2 19:25:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vw10v/i_didnt_realize_what_a_coping_mechanism_my_ed_was/
But then I'm faced with a situation where all I want is to collapse inside of it and feel safe, and I remember.

[Help] Why do I keep fucking up?
Created: Tue Aug 2 18:48:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vvvb8/why_do_i_keep_fucking_up/
First time posting

Hi guys, recently I've been binging every single day and I can't stop. Last year I lost ~30lbs restricting and it's been hard for me to get over my bad habits. Recently my ED has picked up again and I've lost ~3 lbs since Friday/Saturday, but I just cannot stop binging at the end of the day (particularly today and yesterday)

Do you guys have any tips on how to see through my fasting and restricting into the night? It's just really weird to me that I'm just starting to restrict again but I'm having such major urges to binge. :/

[Rant/Rave] I think my boyfriend cheated on me.
Created: Tue Aug 2 18:00:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vvnp8/i_think_my_boyfriend_cheated_on_me/

[Discussion] does anyone else have stridekick?
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Tue Aug 2 17:59:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vvnne/does_anyone_else_have_stridekick/
I got it to do more challenges for my sister lol, but she's recently let her Fitbit battery die and won't charges!

I wanna add some of you guys as friends and we can make a special group. it connects to a lot of fitness tracking devices, not just Fitbit! my username is embesea :)

[Help] What are your most filling low calorie foods?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Aug 2 17:44:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vvl1t/what_are_your_most_filling_low_calorie_foods/
I'm trying to dial back my Sunday binges and get them under control. I'd like to try and do this by filling up on low calorie, filling foods before reaching for the junk - not *stop* myself from having the junk (apart from that not likely to work, I kinda like giving myself freedom on Sundays..), but hopefully get myself full enough that I only want a little and don't feel 'deprived' only having a little cus I'm already full!

I know tips are banned, but considering asking this is me asking how to be *healthier*.. is okay, right? Stop me binging so much..

So what foods can I have on Sunday, before around the time I'm about to binge, that will fill me up and put me off? Right now I have 0% fat greek yogurt and broccoli on the list (not mixed together :P).. but last Sunday that didn't work on it's own, so I think I need to add some! I'm thinking some big, low calorie, healthy-ish meal.. even if I ate 1000kcals worthin that meal, it would knock more off than if I just ate junk! I think.. :P

Thank you for any ideas and inspiration.

[Rant/Rave] I am made of sadness and self loathing. :D
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 16:10:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vv5j7/i_am_made_of_sadness_and_self_loathing_d/
Seriously, todays activities have pretty much been wake up too depressed to move. Lie to my boss about having a migraine so I can skip work. Fail at getting more sleep. Shower and consider drowning myself. Cry a lot. Make sad posts on facebook and tumblr. Make my fiance pissed off at me. Cut a bunch. Try not to binge. Binge anyway. Purge everything and scratch the fuck out of my throat. Cry some more. Consider trying to cancel all plans because I don't want to get out of bed again. Contemplate suicide for like the fourth time. Consider drinking all of the vodka I have. Consider asking my brother for some pot. Consider taking up smoking. Hate self more. More crying. More cutting. Endless downward spiral. try to purge again out of panic that I didn't get anything and fear of continuing to gain weight.

And it's only 3:00! So there's lots of time left for more self destructive behavior!

I know what triggered all of this. And it makes me feel like a shallow, self centered cunt. I hate everything. I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate being alive. And I can't actually fucking say anything to anyone. I have to put on a happy face and fake that it's all okay and I'm not ready to go off myself. I feel like maybe if I were different, like physically different, things would be a lot better and I wouldn't be freaking out so much but here I am. :D

[Other] So excited to be 5 days into my fast and my boyfriend texts me this. He's the best/worst.
Created: Tue Aug 2 16:07:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vv52x/so_excited_to_be_5_days_into_my_fast_and_my/

[Thinspo] surprise vacation progress
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Tue Aug 2 15:24:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vuxij/surprise_vacation_progress/

[Other] You kids got me all excited...
/u/littleone91011 [5'4" | 108 | 18.4 | F |]
Created: Tue Aug 2 14:38:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vuoxq/you_kids_got_me_all_excited/

...To finally try Halo Top!😍👏🏼🍧 This is the first time I've found it at the grocery store. Will let you know how it goes!

**Edit:** Game-changer. Everything I ever dreamed of and more 👍🏼

[Other] [fluff] La Croix Wall
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1" | CW: 154 | -13 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 14:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vumjy/fluff_la_croix_wall/

[Goal] 2016 so far...(the blue star is when I'll be classified underweight, and is my goal for 12/31/2016)
Created: Tue Aug 2 14:09:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vuji6/2016_so_farthe_blue_star_is_when_ill_be/

[Goal] Finally, I did it! 7 days without exceeding 1000 calories!!!
/u/nothanksnothungry [5'2 | CW 138lbs | 26 | GW 125lbs | UGW 108lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 13:44:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vueg0/finally_i_did_it_7_days_without_exceeding_1000/

[Rant/Rave] I have a new boyfriend and he is so thinspo <3
Created: Tue Aug 2 13:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vu5y0/i_have_a_new_boyfriend_and_he_is_so_thinspo_3/

[Discussion] Happy going to the doctor
/u/setniessesed [5'11" | CW: 145.6 GW: 137? | 19.66 | -14lbs | 20/F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:47:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vu31o/happy_going_to_the_doctor/
I went to my doctor this morning and when they weighed me they said I was 11 lbs down from when I went in June :D I knew I lost some but just hearing it said really made me feel accomplished. Now I have a follow up on the 23rd though and if I lose too much more in a short time I'm wondering if they'll talk to me about it or try to get me to stop.

I'm getting urges to binge much less intensely since I went through Never Binge Again and Brain Over Binge and restricting feels really nice now, so I'm curious if I'll start getting pretty good at it. I don't really want anyone to interfere but I don't want to stop losing either and want to lose as fast as possible.

Anyone have any experience with doctors interfering? I went there to get on meds for anxiety/depression so that may affect things somehow. I doubt I'll have any trouble really, but I'm just curious about others' experiences.

[Help] DAE get extremely anxious during hunger pangs?
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:45:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vu2q9/dae_get_extremely_anxious_during_hunger_pangs/
I've always had very painful hunger pangs. They last typically a half hour, and after that I feel completely fine. However, since my relapse earlier this year, I also become extremely anxious at this time. Talking sweaty, panicky, manic to some degree. It happened twice this weekend with my boyfriend when we were waiting to be seated for food which was pretty embarrassing to say the least.

Does anybody else get this way or know how to get a grip on it? It obviously doesn't last too long but it's pretty debilitating when it does. I typically try to plan food around times where I think it will happen, but everything doesn't always go perfectly (like an extra long wait at a restaurant) and I sometimes don't have a big enough kcal budget for an additional snack.

[Help] Does anyone know where to find a certain weight loss chart?
/u/dec4y [5'3|cw:148|25.4|-16lbs|F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:35:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vu0k8/does_anyone_know_where_to_find_a_certain_weight/
I remember months ago there was this website where you could enter your height, weight, TDEE, and total calories you would eat a day and the site would come up with a chart that would tell you how much you would weigh every day, and when you would reach your goal weight.
Anyone know where to find it?

[Discussion] What are the trivial shitty things about having an ED ?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:31:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vtzxx/what_are_the_trivial_shitty_things_about_having/
Not like the crippling self hate... That's been said and done.

Like I'm considering purchasing fackin disposable mesureing cups omg. I'm sick of doing dishes x3 daily. Fack.

[Discussion] sabotaging a weigh in
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Tue Aug 2 12:03:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vtucb/sabotaging_a_weigh_in/
I ate more than usual today and I'm currently trying to drink several litres of water out of anxiety. I know that I'll be weighing myself before bed and in the morning regardless, so if the scale goes up, I can blame the obscene amounts of water I'm drinking. If it goes down, even better! I don't like to do this too often but I do find myself doing it a lot more recently. Anyone else?

[Help] Anxious to weigh myself in 10 days
Created: Tue Aug 2 11:01:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vti1o/anxious_to_weigh_myself_in_10_days/
This will probably be TMI

I'm going for 2-300 calories a day, maybe less..thing is I'm constipated, and I'm worried when I step on the scale August 11th I will still be the same weight or more.

Using the scale everyday will cause me anxiety if I'm not shitting.

Is it possible I won't weigh any less because il be so backed up?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 02, 2016
Created: Tue Aug 2 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vt6gu/daily_food_diary_august_02_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Rant/Rave] That moment when you almost pass out and have to take a breather... Ya feel? 😖 [rant/rave]
/u/frailandbedazzled1 [5'11" | CW 142 | GW 125 | 19.17 | WL -33 | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 09:52:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vt4n9/that_moment_when_you_almost_pass_out_and_have_to/

[Help] Going back to school, how do I suppress the 'boredom' binges??
/u/MermaidHeart [5'6" | 123lbs | 21.1 | 16lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Aug 2 09:30:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vt0hy/going_back_to_school_how_do_i_suppress_the/
Hey all.

I'm heading back to school, and I was wondering if any of you have any tips for how to avoid eating when you're spending more (ie all) your time at home and in class??

These past few months, I've been working a steady, stressful job so it was easy for me to skip breakfast, lunch, and sometimes even dinner.

But now that I'll be back in school (and living in a city unfamiliar to me, at that) I worry that I'll gain back all the weight I lost (about 30lbs) and plus some!!!!

What can I do to control those crazy cravings and stuff? Are there any real appetite suppressants that I can take nearly daily? I already take Ephedrine on off- days and Adderall and sometimes Modafinil.

[Rant/Rave] This week will be amazing
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 09:17:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vsy4r/this_week_will_be_amazing/
Holy shit you guys. One of the personal trainers at my gym is into me. We've been hooking up for the past three days. He's leaving my state soon though, so that'll be a bummer, but I loooooove it while he's here. I've clearly shown some of my neurosis about food (binging on the weekend before he saw me and feeling so uncomfortable naked) and so he's helped me. Like, i've wanted some of his food and asked if I could have some, and in this super sexy voice he just whispers 'but I want to see you naked later, and I want you to be into it'. God. He *knows* me and im so appreciative of it.

Since beginning to see him, ive not had a day above 650 and he says nothing even though we spend essentially the whole day together.

Guys, i am so freaking happy.

Edit: we went to the gym together and he keeps telling me how much he likes seeing my hip bones through my leggings and my ribs through my shirt. Guyyyyyyyys im in heaven

[Tip] Found this low-cal yoghurt! (Canada) 35cal/100gram
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Tue Aug 2 08:46:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vssds/found_this_lowcal_yoghurt_canada_35cal100gram/

Found this low-cal yoghurt! (Canada) 35cal/100gram
Created: Tue Aug 2 08:45:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vss0o/found_this_lowcal_yoghurt_canada_35cal100gram/

[Rant/Rave] Antibiotic from hell is making me eat so much more. Has this happened to anyone?
/u/Phantomsgf [5'2" | 144lbs | GW:125 | -16 lbs |F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 08:13:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vsmfm/antibiotic_from_hell_is_making_me_eat_so_much/
So I was having an awesome couple of weeks of restricting and I was feeling great. But I guess my past weeks of depression and my restricting made my body go crazy , because I ended up with a super nasty ear infection.
I started taking one type of antibiotic but it wasn't working so the doctor told me to switch to a stronger one. and I mean STRONG . like it even states that birth control pills stop being effective while you are taking it.

Well, apparently it was too much for my gut because every time I take it, I start feeling hungry. Not hungry like "oh my stomach feels so good empty and I feel light and lovely" ... NO it's hungry like a zombie sprinting after food hungry. And since I'm still not recovered, I can't actually sprint to counter the food I'm taking lol .
I've never had this before to the point of being woken up by the hunger and desperately having to eat. Also, it just has to be carbs or protein, otherwise the hunger pangs just won't stop.

Has anyone ever had this happen before?? I'm staying under a 1200 calorie intake but it's still so hard. I skipped logging for 3 days because I just KNOW I went far above 1200 and I couldn't face the shame of it.
I know this will pass. As soon as I'm done taking it, I'll probably fast for 3 days or something. *sigh*
rant over.

[Goal] After a long, lazy binge weekend...
Created: Tue Aug 2 07:13:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vsd0v/after_a_long_lazy_binge_weekend/
I'm feeling worse than I ever have. I took a photo of myself last night to record the end of my gluttony. I have so much more energy when I'm not bogged down by processed foods! I'm planning on sticking to 750 a day to lose at least 2lbs per week. Back to the drawing board. I saw pictures of myself last year and looked so much better. Today's the new start. Coffee, water, and wuyi oolong tea for always!

[Help] Going to Greece, food help needed :(
Created: Tue Aug 2 06:55:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vsa9l/going_to_greece_food_help_needed/

[Rant/Rave] 3,000 cal binge yesterday.. yaaay lol
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Aug 2 06:40:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vs7vq/3000_cal_binge_yesterday_yaaay_lol/
Why? Why why why why why?


Too afraid to even weigh myself.. especially after all these 800-1,000cal days. Last night probably threw me over into "gain" territory.

Anyway, diet coke and water fast today. I'm pretty annoyed with myself. Took a bunch of lax last night and they still haven't kicked in. I'm at work now though.. so.. anytime.. in the next eight hours.. with my coworkers in the bathroom with me.. lol *whattteeeeverrrrr*

How have your mornings been so far? Or.. just days in general? I guess there's time differences and what not.

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A August 02, 2016
Created: Tue Aug 2 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vs2ia/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_august_02_2016/

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Rant/Rave] Starting this morning off right!!!!!
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Tue Aug 2 05:20:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vrxfy/starting_this_morning_off_right/
[rant! sorry...mobile. 😇]

So after last week with the whole National Wing Day incident, I upped my calorie budget from 746/day to 1009/day, so instead of losing 2lbs a week, I am expected to lose 1 1/2lbs a week. Which is really okay, because I don't feel disappointed when I stop at 1000/day. And as I lose, I can restrict back to 750cals and not feel so bad. When I was going over 750 every other day, I felt like an absolute moron constantly. So this feels right.

Anyway, we didn't have any coffee at my house but I had my handy dandy green tea supplements which are 160mg caffeine per 2 pills. For breakfast: 1/4 avocado, an egg-white omelette with handful of sliced baby Bella mushrooms thrown in, and 2tsp sugar free Metamucil in water... 180cal morning!

Now I'm at work and I feel great. Have 1/2lb of diced watermelon in the fridge for lunch... I can do this!

I can do this.


[Discussion] MyFitnessPal Friends
Created: Tue Aug 2 00:57:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vr7qc/myfitnesspal_friends/
Recently I've been having a hard time sticking to my daily calorie limit because I have been on vacation. I think it would really help if I had friends on MFP to motivate me to stick to my goals. If you want to/can add me! My username is: gregxfigueroa I hope that you add me and we can motivate each other to lose pounds.

[Discussion] How are your energy levels affected by restriction and fasting?
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Tue Aug 2 00:37:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vr5ie/how_are_your_energy_levels_affected_by/
**Do you find that when you fast, or eat a lower amount of calories (<700 cals) you fall asleep more easily at night?**

I already restrict lowly (around 500-600) but I don't notice a difference in my sleepiness, only my energy when I'm out/at school - compared to when I eat at maintenance. I'm beginning to fast and I currently suffer from mild insomnia so I'm thinking maybe I might sleep better :/

[Rant/Rave] At my wit's end right now. Why does everyone tell me about how "unrealistic" my goals are? [rant/rave]
Created: Mon Aug 1 22:03:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vqn15/at_my_wits_end_right_now_why_does_everyone_tell/
I'm not underweight yet everyone tells me I'm being "unrealistic" and going against my "natural body type".

This woman is much taller than me [and is roughly my current weight](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TjcV6BtQAeg/VKU_eZapKpI/AAAAAAAAYyg/mhI9fPlDm_k/s1600/beforeandafter.jpg). She started at approximately the same BMI I am right now.

My fiance refuses to even look at before and afters and he's been forcing me to eat.

Why is it so taboo to want to be thin if you're not young and haven't been that weight before?

I cried at band practice on Sunday and commiserated with my friend who is also fat.

I've been plateauing for 2 years and just want to be young and thin. But the people around me are being mean about it.

[Rant/Rave] I just went over my calorie limit
Created: Mon Aug 1 21:59:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vqmft/i_just_went_over_my_calorie_limit/
I screwed up, gave in, had a peanut butter sandwich. Justified it by telling myself I had a crappy day. I guarantee you tomorrow morning I'll have put on weight, and I just got to a new low today... I'd been wanting to lose at least three pounds by Wednesday (my short-term goal), and now I probably ruined it.

Today was absolute suck.

[Help] Weird question- pain in thighs/lower back
Created: Mon Aug 1 21:17:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vqgsl/weird_question_pain_in_thighslower_back/
Hello! I've been successfully restricting to under 200 calories a day for about a week. Everything is going fine, no headaches/dizziness/the normal stuff except I've developed a persistent dull, achey pain in my upper thighs and lower back. Has this ever happened to anyone? Any advice? I'm convinced its caused by the lack of calories, but I have no idea why that specific pain would be happening. Thank you in advance!

[Rant/Rave] The 24 hour cycle. [rant]
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 119 | 20.4 | -0 | 20F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 20:10:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vq6v3/the_24_hour_cycle_rant/
from hour zero (6 AM) to hour 10-11 (4-5 PM) I generally do a good job of restricting. I follow a menu of yogurt, hummus, radishes, 90 cal almond thins, etc...

But by hour 11 and 12 (aka 5-6pm) I give up. Oreos, veggie sticks, olives, salsa + chips, ice cream, all kinds of nonrestrictive dinners (with my family, not much i can do there).

This isn't a how to site, you guys can't tell me how to change... I'm just SO frustrated with the scale and my body and UGH. I'm not even updating my flair bc it went back up and just... ugh. 113.6 every freaking day.

Thank you all for accepting the aimless rant of course.

[Discussion] Sleeping problems?
Created: Mon Aug 1 20:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vq5tc/sleeping_problems/

[Tip] Supermarket food tips for a Dutch person?
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Mon Aug 1 19:29:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vq0i2/supermarket_food_tips_for_a_dutch_person/
Since we have different stores like Deen, Aldi, Lidl, Plus and A.H. a lot of the lowcal-food discoveries are irrelevant for us.
So are there any Dutch/Belgians with tips for me?

[Discussion] Premenstrual binges?
Created: Mon Aug 1 19:03:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpwa5/premenstrual_binges/

A week or so before I get my period, I tend to have less control over myself when it comes to food and will binge on sweets all day. I know it's gross, but I'm wondering if anyone here is in the same boat?

Edit: sorry can't flair cause I'm on mobile.

[Rant/Rave] So frustrating that one binge day can be enough to undo 6 days of control.
Created: Mon Aug 1 18:40:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpsj5/so_frustrating_that_one_binge_day_can_be_enough/
It is never worth it though it may not seem that way at the time of stuffing ones face.

[Help] Can't stop binging after getting sober
Created: Mon Aug 1 18:10:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpnm8/cant_stop_binging_after_getting_sober/
For the past few months I've been dealing with a cocaine addiction. I decided a week ago to "take a break" and conveniently (for me) my dealer got robbed, so I don't have easy access to it now. Ever since I've stopped I've been binging like CRAZY. I've eaten more in the past week than I have in the past month, and It's stressing me out beyond belief. Has anyone else here ever dealt with coming off drugs with an ED??
I'm happy that I'm getting through this but I'm also really upset about the repercussions :-( The main reason that my addiction was/is so strong is because it made not eating sooo easy. I already really miss it but I want to get back to the point where I can restrict without using drugs..

[Rant/Rave] First post here, and it's not a happy one :(
Created: Mon Aug 1 18:01:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpm2l/first_post_here_and_its_not_a_happy_one/
Hi, I'm a lurker who finally decided to post something. Unfortunately it's because I've had a reeeeaaaally stressful day.

I woke up this morning to find a gigantic white spot on my very front left tooth. The enamel on that tooth had literally just flaked off in the night. My teeth have been deteriorating rapidly over the past few months, and even though I've been doing everything I can -- prescription toothpaste, mouthwash, floss -- they're just falling apart and I can't seem to stop it. I called my dentist a thousand times and he kept saying he couldn't see me today, he couldn't see me until THURSDAY (I think he suspects me and doesn't want to help me anymore, tbh), so I went to see another dentist instead. They filled the white spot with a tooth-colored filling but they used the wrong color!!! So now I still have one mis-matching tooth.

I am freaking out. I used to have really beautiful teeth and now they're just a mess and this is the last straw for me.

The only good(?) news is, I've been so stressed out all day that I haven't gone over 140 cal and it's almost 5pm here. Nothing better than a little emotional distress for an appetite suppressant.

[Discussion] Favorite drink at Starbucks?
Created: Mon Aug 1 17:38:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpia6/favorite_drink_at_starbucks/
I need something in the mornings to drink but coffee upsets my stomach. What's everyone's favorite low cal drink from Starbucks?

Will flair when I'm not on mobile.

[Discussion] I feel so bad
/u/Frauxeyl [5'11'' | 225 | 31.38 | 25 | PRE-MTF]
Created: Mon Aug 1 17:29:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vpgx9/i_feel_so_bad/
I just eated a whole plate of fries and churros, what can I do to avoid that the next time.

I ate this much because I just went back from work and I was bored and alone.

[Help] Help!!
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 16:14:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vp4fa/help/
I have 17 hours left of my 36 hour fast (almost halfway done!), but my grandmother brought me some chinese food for lunch tomorrow, and it is calling. my. name. She also bought be a candy bar. This is a binge waiting to happen, so how do you guys fight serious cravings during fasts?

Created: Mon Aug 1 15:07:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vosvt/progress/

[Rant/Rave] I had my gallbladder removed 11 days ago.
/u/depressionbunny [5'6" | 138 | 22.6 | -12 | FM]
Created: Mon Aug 1 15:06:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vosph/i_had_my_gallbladder_removed_11_days_ago/
Surgery was textbook, but since then I have barely had an appetite. Moreover, when I do have an appetite, I'm afraid of eating anything unhealthy because it might wreak havoc on my digestion (IOW, send me straight to the bathroom).

As a result, I'm the closest to my goal weight that I've ever been!

Only bad part is that I physically cannot be as active as I was, but this is only for a few more weeks. I miss the gym.

Anyone else have this experience?

[Help] Will drinking coffee help me get rid of water weight or will it worsen the situation?
Created: Mon Aug 1 14:28:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4volv3/will_drinking_coffee_help_me_get_rid_of_water/

[Tip] A lot of people I know are doing this 30 day plank challenge for August - thought some of you might be interested, so here it is!
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 1 14:18:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vok75/a_lot_of_people_i_know_are_doing_this_30_day/

Workouts for the ABC diet?
Created: Mon Aug 1 13:58:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vogjy/workouts_for_the_abc_diet/

[Rant/Rave] Had a super fat weekend
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Mon Aug 1 13:53:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vofn0/had_a_super_fat_weekend/
So this weekend I went home to visit my mom, with my boyfriend (who also visited his parents). I wound up eating WAYYY too much! I am currently not even pretending like I can handle weighing myself, so I'm on a liquid only fast until further notice. I'm having wine today, because I drove 6+ hours last night to come home, then woke up and drove the bf to work (after maybe 4 hours of sleep?) and I really want to sleep early tonight (passing out drunk countsa s sleep, right???).

Anyway, I'm not even hungry or craving food, so I'm off to a great start, I have 15 cal veggie bouillon cubes, and bought shirataki noodles today, and I bought the most delicious almond milk espresso (80 cal/serving!!!), so I should be set until I can get back on track. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Discussion] Anyone else self harm?
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 13:40:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vodar/anyone_else_self_harm/
Just did for the first time in a while to spite my mom for airing our furry laundry, and my dad for mocking me for having a 60 calorie lollipop. I might need stitches. It hurts really bad. Anyone else want to share their storiest? If you're about to self harm, just post here or message me and vent if you need to.

[Other] Reading "The Red Queen" by Christina Henry. This page speaks to me.
/u/rachelcoiling [5'5" | 148 | 24.74 | -61 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 13:22:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo9op/reading_the_red_queen_by_christina_henry_this/

[Rant/Rave] Why did I go zip lining?
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 12:46:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo2o1/why_did_i_go_zip_lining/
So my Step-dad wanted to go zip lining with my siblings and cousin. I thought it would be a lot of fun and a great source of exercise, but it just went horribly wrong.

So when we were putting our harnesses on we all got brown harnesses. I pulled mine on with the rest of my group and in front of everyone the guy said "that looks a little snug. I'll get you a black one." It wasn't snug. I have the same waist size as my brother. I'm so pissed. Then I talked to my brother and he was not sympathetic at all. Then he tightened it so tight and all I could feel is my fat falling over the straps. The entire time all I could think about is my fat. I honestly broke down and cried in the middle of the course. At least nobody saw me cry. It wasn't even all that good of a workout which made it even worse.

It was so hard and was awful. I usually like these types of things because I'm a thrill seeker. Guess I'm not eating dinner tonight.

[Thinspo] Ellie Rowsell <3
Created: Mon Aug 1 12:44:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo2fn/ellie_rowsell_3/

[Other] X post from r/asianbeauty
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 12:40:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo1oj/x_post_from_rasianbeauty/

[Help] Feeling like I might break or something is physically wrong with me.
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 12:36:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vo0ps/feeling_like_i_might_break_or_something_is/
Sorry this is so ranty, I just don't have anybody in my life to talk to about this so it's been bottled up.

I've been restricting to below 1000, the occasional max 1200 calories over the past two months. I'm very sure of my calories intake. I've also been doing lengthy daily cardio, and according to my fitbit charge hr my average daily calorie expenditure is 2500 kcal. I get all the water, protein, fiber and fats I need so I'm just low carb. All of this while I've been in school and working two jobs, my anxiety is at an all-time high, and my IBS has never been worse.

I've lost close to no weight this whole time. I can't take it anymore, I feel like laying next to the scale and crying when I weigh in. My self reassurances that there are so many things that go into your daily weight aren't working so well anymore. My measurements also have not changed, I really only check my waist (25") and it hasn't changed at all.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm thinking of introducing fasting but it's hard to schedule that since I'm working so much and I really love the exercising.

It's got me scared something is wrong with me. If I'm at such a big deficit how am I only maintaining? Is this how I have to live the rest of my life just to maintain this weight? I'm going in to see my doctor for multiple reasons including this one. I just don't get it.

The only thing that makes me happy is that according to my fitbit my average resting heart rate has dropped from 69 to 61 over the last month or so, so at least something is improving.

Has this ever happened to anyone? Is my body just over it?

[Rant/Rave] I almost gave myself away.
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:133 lbs | BMI 19.6 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Mon Aug 1 11:55:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vnt3f/i_almost_gave_myself_away/
Hello friends - Today I have a little mini story/rant for you.

So I was at a friend's place yesterday and we were playing a version of family feud. If you don't know what family feud is, it's a game show where you have to guess the most popular responses to survey questions. In the game, you usually have to answer as fast as you can in order to go first.

So we were all having a wonderful time. Then, it was my turn again. The thing with this game, is that it's primarily about responding fast, so it can reveal a lot of your subconscious thoughts. The question was "I love the feeling of being ___" . Without even thinking, I hit the button and said "hungry". I was NOT thinking of the social context I was in. As soon as I said it, I wished that I could take it back. I got a lot of weird stares. Fortunately for me, it was actually the 4th most common response. A couple people started laughing and said things like "who in their right mind enjoys being hungry? lolol". I laughed along with them and tried to play it off as a joke.

There was only one girl in the room who knew that I had an eating disorder. She knew that I went to inpatient not too long ago because of it too. Luckily for me, her mind seemed to be somewhere else because I don't think she picked up on the little exchange that just happened. Or maybe she did, but she just didn't say anything - who knows?

Anyways, that is my story of the day.

TLDR: I almost exposed myself and my eating disorder in a game of family feud, but I don't think anyone really picked up on it.

[Help] So anxious.. Eating under maintenance, but still afraid of weight gain?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Aug 1 11:51:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vnsb4/so_anxious_eating_under_maintenance_but_still/
So, I don't know what my issue has been.. shark week has passed by about a week, so not PMSing. But I am hungry for sweets 24/7, I just ate 400 cal of brownie, granola bars, and cookies.

Plus this morning was almost 300 in cereal and plums.

I just don't understand. My days have been averaging 800-1,000cal and I was easily restricting at 400 before this? I mean, of course the OCCASIONAL binge, but not an everyday occurrence like this.

I know logically I will not gain weight from this, I will still lose, but much slower. Again, I know this. But my brain is freaking out because I FEEL like I binged. I FEEL like I'm getting fat. My little tummy so pooched out from food right now :(

I hate posting these for reassurance, but I really need someone to tell me it's okay and I'm not crazy..

[Rant/Rave] I gained a pound
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 11:34:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vnp3m/i_gained_a_pound/
And I'm so embarrassed for myself, That I ever let myself get this big in the first place. I'd kill myself, I really would, but I don't want to live AND die fat.

[Help] Tips for sharing your ED with someone new?
Created: Mon Aug 1 11:10:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vnkg2/tips_for_sharing_your_ed_with_someone_new/

[Rant/Rave] Flat Chested Woes
/u/montagemontage [5'4" | CW: 🐮 | GW: 95 | -15 | f]
Created: Mon Aug 1 10:34:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vndmb/flat_chested_woes/
Is anyone else here really, really flat chested? Even when I was literally obese I was still an A cup - couldn't even do the "band size down, cup size up" trick because there'd be a giant gap in a B size bra. While I've been thankful for the ability to go bra-less and not to have to deal with back pain, my biggest problem is that unless my stomach is concave it will always stick out further than my chest so I always look heavier than I am. :X Anyone else?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! August 01, 2016
Created: Mon Aug 1 10:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vn7x4/daily_food_diary_august_01_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for August 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Intro] First post here!
Created: Mon Aug 1 09:47:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vn52k/first_post_here/
Hello everyone, I've been lurking here for a while but never posted because my boyfriend knows my Reddit account and I don't want to worry him. I had a really terrible weekend after a really good week of restricting(I think my highest day was ~800 or so. But this weekend was so awful I can feel myself wanting to binge again. If I could fast, I would but I already have blood pressure problems and faint if I don't eat anything.

Basically I just wanted to introduce myself!thanks for being such a great community!

[Rant/Rave] My meal-prep last week went so well, I decided to do an entire month!
Created: Mon Aug 1 09:41:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vn3ws/my_mealprep_last_week_went_so_well_i_decided_to/

[Discussion] I'm starting shakeology
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:48:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmuj3/im_starting_shakeology/
my friends mom has a friend who sells it so we each got 2 boxes full. right now I'm drinking the chocolate one as is. not too great but it's only 130 calories! maybe I will start looking up some recipes for the flavors idk

wish me luck. I'm trying to hard to curb my cravings. I've been struggling :(

[Intro] Thank you & a (long) Intro :)
/u/milly_theale [5'0" | CW 110 | GW 97 | 26F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:45:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmu2j/thank_you_a_long_intro/
Hi everyone! I have been lurking on this sub for a while, but finally decided to join the conversation… I've always had a short/stocky (5'0") build and hovered around 110-115 lbs during college. I hit my high weight of 127 lbs in 2014, from a combination of having a full-time desk job, living with my partner, and being helpless against “the munchies.”

I was fat, felt gross, and was terrified of waking up one day and seeing 130 lbs. I started calorie counting (~1000-1200 cal/day) and exercising daily (running 3-5 miles/day and practicing yoga). I never had mia tendencies before, but starting purging after going overboard on a “treat day” binge. I remember being proud of how much I was able to get up my first time, and I loved the “weightless” feeling and sense of relief I got afterwards. Soon after I hit my low weight of 95 lbs, I fell off the exercise wagon and started purging regularly to compensate. But I couldn’t keep up with my binges, and within 4 months, I was back up to 120 lbs.

When I moved and started grad school, I used it as a chance to start over. I still wasn’t working out, but I wasn’t restricting or bingeing, either. Over 7 months, my weight stabilized and I ended up back at 115 lbs. But, triggered by finals stress and anxiety about summer plans, I started b/p-ing again over winter break and continued sporadically during the spring semester.

I found this sub a few months ago, when I was coming to terms with my relapse. There’s really no one I can talk to, not even my partner of 7 years. He knew that I was “having trouble” (as he puts it) last year, but I don’t know if he realizes that I’ve started again.

I’m not sure where I am headed right now – I’m working out regularly and eating low-cal, but not tracking my food in MFP (in my head is another story!). I’d like to get back to 100 lbs – that’s where I felt the most beautiful – but I also want to stop the b/p cycle. Either way, I’m thankful to have found this sub, because everyone is so supportive and wonderful! :)

Thought my legs look nice in this pic , wanted to share as I find my thighs a problem area.
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:37:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmsqy/thought_my_legs_look_nice_in_this_pic_wanted_to/

[Help] Starting my first 36 hour fast today....
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:32:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmru9/starting_my_first_36_hour_fast_today/
I've done a 24 hour one before and I'm trying to work myself up to longer ones in increments. My starting weight is 169.6, what's a reasonable amount of weight to expect to drop, only consuming water?

[Tip] Interactive Waist to Height ratio
/u/_-TAWat-_ [5'3" | 31F | UGW 110.2#]
Created: Mon Aug 1 08:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmn3y/interactive_waist_to_height_ratio/

[Discussion] Do any of you watch food reviews/cooking shows or mukbang videos to reduce appetite?
/u/Itsemurha [177cm | 71.9kg| 22.43| -47kg | GW: 60kg | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 07:54:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vmlr4/do_any_of_you_watch_food_reviewscooking_shows_or/
I recently discovered on the weirder side of youtube people like amy slaton, simply sarah and recently this woman https://www.youtube.com/user/kinoyuu0204/videos who eats copious amounts of food which stops me from wanting to binge on food myself. I personally think she has an eating disorder herself though. There's no way she can eat that much every day and stay skinny... Anyways, Do any of you do the same? Who do you watch?

[Help] Big deficit restriction, yet gaining for days. Help?
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Mon Aug 1 07:50:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vml2f/big_deficit_restriction_yet_gaining_for_days_help/
This is my first time restricting while actually monitoring everything closely. I weigh everything and log every single bite.

I'm positive that I haven't gone over 600 calories in the last 5 days (usually more like 400-500), yet my morning weight is steadily increasing every day, even though I weigh myself at the same time.

How do you guys usually deal with this? Should I be dropping calories even more? The past two days I made sure my sodium levels were super low and this is still happening.


[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! August 01, 2016
Created: Mon Aug 1 06:03:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vm4sg/weekly_stats_update_august_01_2016/
This is the weekly status thread for August 01, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Intro] I can feel myself getting sick again, and it feels amazing
/u/sunrisesomeday [5'6" | 150lb | UGW:105lb | yo-yo queen]
Created: Mon Aug 1 04:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vlso3/i_can_feel_myself_getting_sick_again_and_it_feels/
I've been lurking here for a while, as someone who had "recovered" from an eating disorder. I'm 24 and live in the UK.

I had anorexia for 2ish years, hitting my low weight in May of 2014 (115 lbs, 5'6"). I moved in with my ex, he forced me to eat more, and when things went south I drowned my feelings in wine and junk food. (Sometimes I think I just like to drown my feelings, either by extreme amounts of food and alcohol or lack thereof).

It's a year after the break-up and I can feel myself getting sick again. And it feels amazing, it feels like coming home. Getting drunk doesn't even come close to the high of taking a steamy shower after a day of fasting. I can't help but smirk from the lightheadedness of going for a 10km walk having not consumed anything but coffee and cigarettes in the previous 24 hours.

Even though it'll be months, I can't wait for people to start worrying about me, fearing that I'm sick again. I can't wait to look sick again. I can't wait to see my ribcage on my chest without sucking it in, and not being able to fit into suits because I'm too skinny.

[Help] Worried about what to do next
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Mon Aug 1 03:56:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vlqep/worried_about_what_to_do_next/
I said I'd try and maintain at 55kg, and build muscle/lose fat without scale changes. I knew that wouldn't last forever but I wanted it to last for a year or so at least until I move out and I've had a medical treatment I need which is dependent on both my mental health and physical health being 'stable.' This is very important to me and would greatly improve my QOL and I don't want to be too underweight or seen as too disordered to handle it. The irony is that low body fat actually improves results 😑

I'm terrified. My TDEE is about 2100 and I can't fathom eating that much food. I can't exercise much less because of my job. I lost 5kg in July and I'm very happy with myself for doing so but I don't want to lose 5kg in August- 2.2kg to goal and I expect to go a little under but I do actually want to try and maintain.

I'm not happy with my body still. I've got a thigh gap just peeking through but my stomach is still soft and not flat, my arms aren't solid, and I don't have the leg definition that I would like. I need more muscle but I definitely need less body fat. I don't know what the right answer here is but I obviously can't keep losing >1kg/week while I make my mind up as I don't know how long that will take. I feel so stuck and I'd really appreciate any advice or thoughts :(

[Help] Beginning my First Fast
Created: Mon Aug 1 02:30:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vli4z/beginning_my_first_fast/

[Rant/Rave] I'm supposed to be like this..
Created: Mon Aug 1 01:05:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vla7b/im_supposed_to_be_like_this/

[Rant/Rave] This has been happening a bunch since PokemonGo
Created: Sun Jul 31 22:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkqkn/this_has_been_happening_a_bunch_since_pokemongo/

[Rant/Rave] I'm gross
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 113.6lb | 18.06 | -50.4lb | NB]
Created: Sun Jul 31 22:03:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkpsx/im_gross/
I'm back down to 113.3

and ate a ton of food

I not because I was hungry, not because I needed it

but because k wanted something to throw up and I'm drunk as a skunk.

it's too much today. I want to give up.

[Intro] Intro
/u/lordjoji [5'3" | CW: 108 lbs | 19.66 | GW: 100 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 21:25:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkkx0/intro/
Hi! I'll flair this later but I'm currently on mobile and wanted to make this post as soon as possible. I've been semi-lurking for about a week but wanted to properly introduce myself. I dealt with anorexia from 14-16, briefly recovered for a year, then got triggered into ana again (but tbh I'm so happy that I'm back on track). My stats are 63 in, 113 lbs, BMI 20.57, and I hope to be 100 lbs by Oct. 2nd when I see Beyoncé in concert. I'm so excited to go off to college in August because I won't have anyone to question me about restricting :). Anyways, just wanted to say hello!

[Rant/Rave] pray for me. tomorrow is my birthday. there will be cake.
/u/turnonmyrighthand [4'9 | 86lb | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 20:13:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkb2y/pray_for_me_tomorrow_is_my_birthday_there_will_be/
its not that i have no self control. its that the thought of eating cake disgusts me. i never eat anything outside of my diet and i have no desire to. but my step mom insists on making me a cake and i know im going to have to eat a piece tomorrow at my bday dinner out of politeness. ill survive but i'll feel gross for the next two weeks bc of it. siiiigh. -_- of course i cant explain this to her without looking like i have issues.

[Discussion] Do you try to log every calorie of your binges or do you estimate?
/u/montagemontage [5'4" | CW: 🐮 | GW: 95 | -15 | f]
Created: Sun Jul 31 20:08:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vkaca/do_you_try_to_log_every_calorie_of_your_binges_or/
When you use an app or a diary to track your daily intake, what do you do when you have a massive binge?

Personally, on one hand, I like to know the exact number of what I ate - having an incomplete data set really bothers me. On the other hand, having to log and add "2 orders fried rice," "1 salami sandwich," "8 eggs" under one meal/seeing a day's calories reach up to 10000(!) is as horrible as re-living the binge. For this reason, depending on the occasion I occasionally go through and painstakingly measure my empty ice cream containers but on other occasions just put an easy "2000" or gross estimation into MFP so I can move on.

[Other] Let's fill this thread with haikus that represent today's feelings
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:56:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vk00n/lets_fill_this_thread_with_haikus_that_represent/
Overflowing thighs

You jiggly motherfuckers

I cannot sit down

[Thinspo] 32 Kilos -- Ivonne Thein (2008)
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:38:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjxf3/32_kilos_ivonne_thein_2008/

[Help] I have a party in two weeks and I'm so fat - please help me
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:28:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjw4r/i_have_a_party_in_two_weeks_and_im_so_fat_please/

[Rant/Rave] Feeling helpless
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:19:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjute/feeling_helpless/
My ex is constantly changing his mind on how he feels about us and what he wants to do and I'm just a fucking wreck. I don't know whether I want to binge or restrict but I can't binge because then I'll just get even fatter and fuck up my progress. I want to binge though because it's my stupid idea of comfort. I hate feeling anything and I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I could kill myself but then I'll just be letting depression win. I'm sorry for being such a downer and I try to be positive but I'm only human and I can't be strong all the time. He doesn't even understand fully why I've been depressed, dealt with anorexia for the last few years, why I have such low self esteem, and why I've verbally lashed out. I want to fast but I don't want to seriously slow my metabolism. I just want to be beautiful, loved, and happy. Fuck I'm a mess. Everyone else describes me as "gorgeous, bubbly, smart, funny" but it's just makeup and acting. I'm completely fucking broken and I can't let anyone see it. I just want to die in my sleep. I really hope everyone else is having a day a million times better than mine. Sorry.

[Help] Effed up question about sweating.
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:16:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjuel/effed_up_question_about_sweating/
Anyone else here sweat like a pig? Will a calorie deficit make me cold enough most of the time to stop sweating as the much?

I realize how messed up of a question this is.

[Discussion] So I found this website. Im sure all of you have seen it but.....damn
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 18:04:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjsjt/so_i_found_this_website_im_sure_all_of_you_have/

Its this brutal website where people just completely shit on fat people and honestly it inspires me to loose more weight. I don't want to be talked about or get posted on this website, I would be devastated.

[Discussion] Is there anyone who does low carb/keto and binges?
/u/setniessesed [5'11" | CW: 145.6 GW: 137? | 19.66 | -14lbs | 20/F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 17:53:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjqsc/is_there_anyone_who_does_low_carbketo_and_binges/
And if so after your binge do you feel really fatigued and stuff from being kicked out of ketosis? I was doing it and was just starting to feel more energetic and less hungry and I ruined it with a binge -_- Maybe this can be a compelling reason to prevent me from bingeing again.

[Discussion] kik
/u/iwillbesmall [5'6" | 134lbs | F | GW: 99]
Created: Sun Jul 31 16:24:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vjdm6/kik/

[Help] [tip] MFP problem - doesn't count exercise calories from pedometer app!
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 63kg (141lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 15:46:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vj7ix/tip_mfp_problem_doesnt_count_exercise_calories/
helpp! slightly off topic, but I can't figure out how to turn it back on. I use the pacer app that MFP recommends and I've tried resetting both apps.

[Other] Relaxing and pretty gifs collection; for hard times
/u/mandarinexd [5'3" | CW:99 | BMI:17.74 | - 11 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 14:54:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4viz2p/relaxing_and_pretty_gifs_collection_for_hard_times/

[Discussion] To those who do low carb, what are your reasons?
Created: Sun Jul 31 14:27:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4viuk9/to_those_who_do_low_carb_what_are_your_reasons/
I notice quite a few posters here mention minimal carb diet. I've tried it in the past, 3 days Keto, , and couldn't wait out the Keto flu, when I tried to post on r / Keto about my symptoms I got bombarded by rude militant Ketoers.

Curious how it benefits you and reasoning for fear of carbs?

Today I woke up and ate a large no carb breakfast and planned to not eat anything else, 1pm hits and I had no energy, kind of depressed and strong cravings. So had bowl of oatmeal. I don't think no carb is for me currently.

[Help] Costa Questions
/u/amyrj28 [Height: 157cm | CW: 6st 7lbs | BMI: 16.7 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 14:17:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vit3p/costa_questions/
Hi, I usually lurk here, but I have a question I wanted to ask lol. I'm meeting up with a friend tomorrow and we're going to Costa for a coffee, does anyone know what the lowest calorie options I have are? I don't like black coffee, or espresso. I was thinking maybe something iced and flavoured?

I'm also in the UK if that makes any difference. I did look at the nutritional info on their site but I'm still confused as to what to get as I've never been to a Costa or anything before lol.


[Rant/Rave] Breakup Binge
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 14:11:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vis33/breakup_binge/
Hello everyone,

This will be kinda ranty, so I'm sorry. You don't need to read it, but maybe someone will relate?

I HATE eating in bed. I won't do it, I have very strict rules from my childhood on where it is okay to eat and where it isn't. I have a very hard time eating anywhere but sitting down at my kitchen table or counter, and cannot eat with the TV on (don't own one actually, so computer I guess). And this morning I ate an entire sleeve of crackers and a chocolate bar in bed (700 cal total). I can't believe this. But its made me feel better, I had terrible cramps, but still.

The reason why I'm feeling so crappy is because my SO broke up with me over text last night. He texted me that he was home early and I was excited (he's gone all week for work), and I told him I was going out for drinks and he said to be safe. I replied "I'm meeting my friend after he gets off work to grab a drink and then he'll either drive me home or I'll sleep on his sofa". The he flipped out. Said he never wanted to see me again. Said that it was a date because I was planning on "going home with him". Then he started getting jealous about me sleeping at female friends houses. He accused me of fucking all of these guys (which I haven't) and saying how I've been going on dates. He went from "I miss you" to "I never want to see you again" in 5 minutes because I'm apparently doing all this terrible stuff. I'm glad its over.

My friend drove me home and he did end up staying the night (on the sofa) because he was worried about my safety. He ended up getting me the crackers and chocolate this morning because my stomach hurt so much I couldn't stand.

But good riddance to him. Now I won't get sucked into his terrible diets, have to put up with his high ass all the time (no offence to those who smoke), or deal with his drama. Maybe once these damn period cramps subside it will give me motivation not to eat. So I can be thin for whatever unlucky man I'll inevitably find.

Sorry, end of rant. Hope everyone else's weekends are going way better than mine!

[Discussion] Are you still susceptible to hair loss if you don't get enough calories but you do get enough nutrients?
Created: Sun Jul 31 13:55:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vipjt/are_you_still_susceptible_to_hair_loss_if_you/
I lurk on my main account so I made a throwaway to post here, so hi everyone!!

I really need to lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks... I'm home most of the day and I have an exercise bike so I am basically gluing my fat ass to that for most of the day so I'm hoping to be burning a lot. I'm eating just under 1,000 calories a day... ~55g protein, ~70g fat, and I try to keep carbs as low as possible. I just started taking a multivitamin, fish oil, and hair skin & nails vitamin.

I'm really worried about hair loss... I already lost a lot of my hair from hardcore restriction the 2 years before last, and my hair was pretty much the only thing I liked about myself. So, will hair loss still happen if I don't get enough calories but I get enough nutrients and vitamins?

[Other] Do any of you guys make Fashion inspo albums?
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 13:08:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vihup/do_any_of_you_guys_make_fashion_inspo_albums/
I don't make thinspo albums, but I LOVEEEE fall/winter so I make a ton of fashion inspo! Mine is on [google](https://goo.gl/photos/CmAEBfaUgSJWxV4Y7) if you guys want to see. I tried to put it on imgur but some of the images don't download right.

Share yours if you have one! :)

[Tip] [TIP] Tasty alternative for those of us who are avoiding soy, and aren't a fan of cashew milk
/u/TopCat1392 [5'3.5" | 111.4 | 19.88 | -26.6 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 12:33:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vibyd/tip_tasty_alternative_for_those_of_us_who_are/

Unfortunately true:'( (x post r/fatlogic)
Created: Sun Jul 31 12:07:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vi7rr/unfortunately_true_x_post_rfatlogic/

[Help] Please help me. Am I even making progress? Imgur album in text
Created: Sun Jul 31 11:54:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vi5p4/please_help_me_am_i_even_making_progress_imgur/

[Help] Soooo hungry. Help.
/u/tinyme23 [5'3" | 146 | 25.9 | -25 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 11:48:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vi4ml/soooo_hungry_help/
All my tricks aren't working today. I've managed to drop 10 lbs this month--big whoop. I'm so huge it should have been more.

My stomach won't shut up. Browsing v/fph isn't working. Watching SuperSize vs SuperSkinny isn't working. I had a box of frozen artichoke hearts for lunch an hour ago and I'm still crazy hungry.

Gimme your tips, lovelies.

Am I even making progress? Older to newer left to right
Created: Sun Jul 31 11:44:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vi40k/am_i_even_making_progress_older_to_newer_left_to/

[Discussion] Keep yourself busy for days! An interesting and in-depth reading about weight gain and weight loss, which focuses on today's obesity epidemic, insulin resistance, low-calorie diets, and how at the end of the day the best approach is: fasting.
Created: Sun Jul 31 10:45:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vhubu/keep_yourself_busy_for_days_an_interesting_and/

This is the first post in a 3 year blog by a doctor who promotes fasting as a way of living. I read this in its entirety over my first five day fast. (Just click next post button at the bottom of each page repeatedly to follow it in order!) It truly was fascinating. Some posts focus on diabetes, which I merely skimmed over but for the most part it all was relative to me by some degree. He's also repetitive over the series but I think this just helped reinforce a lot of the ideas and information by the end of it. Hope you enjoy!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 31, 2016
Created: Sun Jul 31 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vhnva/daily_food_diary_july_31_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 31, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Discussion] What's on your shopping list for this week/August goals?
/u/thinismygame [5'6" | 148 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 09:32:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vhjbd/whats_on_your_shopping_list_for_this_weekaugust/
Sunday is like the universal shopping day, right? At least for me :)

I also love shopping for the new month. Clean slate. My goals for August = get ready for my friends wedding. I've got 8 weeks exactly starting tomorrow!!

My shopping list:

sugar free jello (10 cals!)

Greek yogurt


Shit ton of Powerade zero & diet cokes


P3 snack box things

Trying to also add more protein in so I feel fuller. So proed, what's on your shopping list this week?

[Discussion] Just want opinions/support
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 09:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vhh9o/just_want_opinionssupport/
What do you think the ideal weight is for 5'4"? I'm thinking of dropping to 95 lbs but I'm just not sure of myself honestly. Also how quickly do you guys think I'd be able to get to that weight? I eat under 500 calories and under 15 carbs everyday. I exercise a little ( hour walk every night and dancing around the house haha). I find it really hard to even imagine myself as skinny but I refuse to stay this way, I'm tired of being depressed about my appearance. I'm counting calories in my head but I never count incorrectly. I can't download my fitness pal or anything like that either because my ex has access to my Apple ID and we're currently working things out between us and I don't want him to see that I'm going back downhill. The first time he saw how truly bad I was he'd cry everyday and I really don't want to mess it up again this time. I really look forward to hearing your opinions. Thank you guys, you're what's kept me on track.

[Rant/Rave] my stepmum threw my food out
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Sun Jul 31 08:27:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vha31/my_stepmum_threw_my_food_out/
I'd bought a packet of chocolate chips with my own money. I meal plan and went to use them today (and I only opened them yesterday) and they were gone. When I asked her where they'd been moved to, she went to the wheelie bin outside and pulled them out and said they were still good to eat.

If they were bad enough to throw out, why are they good enough to eat **after** they've been sat in a wheelie bin all morning? I feel sick.

[Discussion] [Trigger] Who else plans to b/p today?
Created: Sun Jul 31 07:56:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vh5xk/trigger_who_else_plans_to_bp_today/

[Discussion] [Trigger Warning] What are your favorite binge foods?
Created: Sun Jul 31 07:33:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vh33f/trigger_warning_what_are_your_favorite_binge_foods/
I have BED (Binge Eating Disorder) so I unfortunately have a lot of favorite binge foods. My go-to treats are:

• Oreos

• Peanut butter & Jelly

• Nutella

• Ice cream

• Cookies

• Brownies

• Cake

• Doughnuts

• Chips and Queso

• Fritos

• Flipz White Fudge Covered Pretzels

• Milkshakes

• Fried Chicken

• Tater tots

What foods do you binge on?

[Rant/Rave] So terrified that I'm not losing fast enough.
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Sun Jul 31 07:25:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vh23t/so_terrified_that_im_not_losing_fast_enough/
I'm going back to school soon. Still so much bigger than what I want to be. I'm losing so slowly. Eating very little leaves me with no energy to work-out, working out a lot increases my appetite, I love drinking too much and need to drink to forget about things, and I just am not okay with harder drugs that have no calories. This is so terrifying. I need to be smaller in a month and I'm a huge pig.

[Rant/Rave] When they put cream in your coffee and you're too chicken to ask for a new one :|
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 06:46:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vgxq1/when_they_put_cream_in_your_coffee_and_youre_too/

[Rant/Rave] Philosophy About Recovery
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 04:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vgiav/philosophy_about_recovery/
I have the right to choose to not eat, because I've calculated it will make me happier. It makes me angry when people tell me that I'm too mentally ill to have the autonomy to make my own decisions. Yes, I have a mental illness, but that's not a good reason to act as though my anorexia is a separate entity from me. Maybe for some people, it helps to externalize their 'Ed'. But it doesn't make sense to me that I should be ashamed and unable to say, to people who are supposed to encourage an honest discourse, that I want to consider the possibility of lowering my body weight further.

I'm 5'6", 113lb. I don't think my body dysphoria would make me think I'm fat at 103. Should I not trust this? I'm concerned I mostly hear the narrative of people who have made the mistake of believing their ED won't severely hurt their life, and were wrong. But is it so crazy to suspect that it's possible for some people to maintain a low body weight without putting themselves in danger?

I'm completely convinced I won't go too far. Do you think that's naive?

[Tip] greatest appetite suppressant
Created: Sun Jul 31 02:59:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vgcpd/greatest_appetite_suppressant/
Extreme emotional distress

[Rant/Rave] I just need to vent - feel free to ignore
Created: Sun Jul 31 01:36:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vg5pz/i_just_need_to_vent_feel_free_to_ignore/

[Intro] Hellooooooo!
/u/cannibale101 [5'5 | HW:150smtg | CW:120,8 | GW:118 | 28F]
Created: Sun Jul 31 00:15:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfyr3/hellooooooo/
Hi! Since there's often questions/thoughts i want to share with this community, I think it's time i properly introduce myself to you all.
So hello! I live in Montreal (Qc, Canada) and i'm a 28 year-old french speaking, hoping-to-be sociology teacher. About 10-12 years ago i went full ED for the first time (ana then ana/mia). At the time I was still living with my personality-disordered mother, dating an extremely abusive guy, going to school full-time and also working full-time to pay rent because my mom was too busy suing everybody (:-/). Then the guy and i broke up, i moved out of the city, lost contact with my mother, tried to kill myself, recontacted and re-broke up with the abusive guy, and eventually managed to get my shit together : learned how to build healthy relationships and to accept/live with my own demons (they'll never leave completely and i learned to be ok with them, sort of).

So i kind of recovered for a few years, met my current (amazing) boyfriend, finished school, got hired by a great college in a great city : my life seemed to finally go somewhere. Then the semester ended a few months ago and they didn't have enough work for one more teacher in my field for next year ; i moved back to Mtl and i feel like i'm back to being nobody, broke and incapable of adulting properly. My old feelings of hate towards my own emotional needs came back in a rush. I started restricting and over-exercising again, going more and more heavily at it in an attempt to regain some sense of control over my life. Now my relapse is also starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend and i'm afraid i'll lose him, even though he's extremely understanding and supportive. I'm isolating myself from my friends, too.
I went from a teenage victim of constant abuse to a "healthy, self-aware, responsible and soon-to-be successful young adult" to a relapsed emotional mess + minimum wage worker overwhelmed by student loans. Last week, the emotional and physical restriction became too much for what i could take so i fell into a huge, uncontrollable binge phase that i still don't know how to stop nor manage. These days i'm questioning my own ability to actually lead an average, minimally stable life.

So yeah, i think that's about it as far as EDs are concerned :) Other than that i apologize a lot (maybe too much, like many people), i get very easily distracted, i'm a feminist, vegan militant and overall SJW who tends to take things pretty seriously so sometimes i need to be reminded to lighten up a little and that not everything has to be serious :p I love singing and playing music and i'm addicted to running even though we have terrible knees in my family. Pleased to meet you all and i hope my contribution to this sub will be helpful and positive!

[Other] Weekly Calorie intake
Created: Sat Jul 30 22:46:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfpqw/weekly_calorie_intake/

[Other] My day of binge/purging today video
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Sat Jul 30 22:13:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfm1d/my_day_of_bingepurging_today_video/

[Thinspo] Just remember keep going
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 21:24:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfg24/just_remember_keep_going/

I'm afraid of gaining when I weight tmrw, but in sure a lot of u feel the same. Just keep going we will get through this
Created: Sat Jul 30 21:23:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vffz9/im_afraid_of_gaining_when_i_weight_tmrw_but_in/

[Goal] Small victory
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 20:34:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vfa0i/small_victory/
I'm down 14lbs since I started Vyvanse at the beginning of this month. I should be happier, but I still have so much left lose. And I over ate today.

Plus I'm still pretty upset about being suddenly dropped by my therapist. No warning, no last appointment for closure, no reply my text, nothing. It's really screwing with my head.

I also feel like an imposter here. I have binge eating disorder and I tend to binge and restrict. I have had foods issues since high school, but I had a few year period where i had it together. Everyone here is so thin and I'm fat and old.

On mobile, can't flair

[Discussion] Negative calorie foods?
Created: Sat Jul 30 20:32:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vf9pd/negative_calorie_foods/

[Discussion] What do you guys do to distract yourself from eating?
/u/ClownLord-PlebMaster [5'8 | 145.6 | 22.0 | 27 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 19:58:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vf5a0/what_do_you_guys_do_to_distract_yourself_from/
I had a terrible binge yesterday and ate a whole box of chips ahoy cookies and three sandwiches. I'd been going good for a month and i fucked it up because i was bored. Im still in school and don't have a job so since its summer im home alone in a house full of food all day and its the worst. Any ideas for keeping myself busy when im hungry?

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Fucked up my "no binge" streak
Created: Sat Jul 30 19:30:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vf1kh/rant_fucked_up_my_no_binge_streak/
13 days. 13 days without binging only to fuck it all up. I can't even remember what I ate. I stuffed so much stuff down my throat that I don't even remember what they were.

I was so close to a new low, too. Just 1.8 lbs away. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It's going to suck updating my journal. Ugly pages with big numbers. Ugh.

Fasting today. A new day. Pick myself up and move forward, that's how we do it, right?

Hope everyone is having a better day, and whoever isn't, we'll do better tomorrow. A new week. A new month. I'll be okay. I'll be fine. I'll get there. All of us will. <3

[Rant/Rave] Dumb rant, sorry; lets talk about cartoons!
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 160 | 24.3 | 14 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 18:48:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vevv4/dumb_rant_sorry_lets_talk_about_cartoons/
I posted a while ago about how Pearl from Steven Universe was my thinspo, and lately I've been b/P and putting on a lot of weight. I just got my boyfriend into SU and told him Pearl is my favorite and I want to cosplay her so badly at an upcoming con and how perfect/beautiful/etc she is and he just "Hmm, I dunno, you're much more of an amethyst I think"

Looks like it's fasting time again: I have two weeks before the convention and i couldn't POSSIBLY do pearl now, but at least if I eat under 300 calories every day until then maybe I won't be such a disgusting pig.

[Rant/Rave] Is a quarter life crisis a thing? Sorry for negative rant!
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 18:38:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4veuig/is_a_quarter_life_crisis_a_thing_sorry_for/
I'm sorry I feel like I post so much negativity here but I'm not sure I trust anyone enough to actually vent. Here I am turning 20 on monday. I fasted for almost 4 days then binged and purged these last two. I'm not skinny, I'm not happy, and I have no real friends other than guys who want to sleep with me and my mom. I'm too flaky and unstable to keep friends. I always thought as I child that 20 means you're an adult, you travel and get together for coffee with friends and have your shit together. Instead I'm alone cleaning my puke off my shoes and crying at all the food I ate.

I don't care about the rest if I was actually skinny but I'm not happy about myself physically, socially, or mentally. I just want to hide in my apartment with my pets and never leave.

And best of all I get to stay the weekend with my mom meaning binging and no purging for 2 days.... kill me guys...

[Help] Help! How do you stop feeling so cold on a deficit?
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 18:16:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4verld/help_how_do_you_stop_feeling_so_cold_on_a_deficit/
Honestly, the hardest thing for me when restricting is how cold I get eventually. Does anyone else get this? It gets to the point where I can't even sleep I get so cold. Are upping my calories my only option to avoid this?


/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Sat Jul 30 17:57:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4veowx/rant_restaurant_breakfast/
They fried the egg whites in bacon grease. The toast was soaked through to the bottom with butter. My coffee had whole cream in it.

Please, for the love of god, let me enjoy the little things. Like 200, not 900, calorie breakfast.

[Help] Vegans - care to share some low calorie, high protein recipes with me. Pretty please?
/u/imnotofuckingkay [47 in | 68 lbs | 21.5 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 17:12:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4veikp/vegans_care_to_share_some_low_calorie_high/
Preferably with no tofu / fake meat as I can't really stand either of those things.

Thanks guys!

[Rant/Rave] anyone else have trouble purging?
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 16:55:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4veg4m/anyone_else_have_trouble_purging/
i can never do it right. for some reason the finger down the throat method doesn't work for me, which makes no sense because i have the world's worst gag reflex.
the only thing that works is if i force myself to keep gagging until i throw up, which barely results in anything. i feel like i haven't even purged. like for example, i ate a pizza for dinner (weight watchers, 380 cals- way too much for dinner) and then tried to purge immediately afterwards. i threw up mostly water and probably not even 1/4 of the pizza.
i'm not asking for advice because i know that's not allowed here, but just wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing. it's incredibly frustrating. i can just feel my body absorbing all the calories.

[Discussion] parent problems
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Sat Jul 30 15:10:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ve0aw/parent_problems/
so... i had a nine mile long run with my team this morning. sooooo that put me in a big deficit for eating. had a good hearty pretty dense breakfast- ik its weird but i dont count calories its too much haha. then came home and went to the beach at the beach i ate a sandwich and some fruit. my dad gave me a powerade but it wasnt a zero and its full of sugar so i didnt drink it, then when i got home i dumped it in the sink and he somehow knew i did and confronted me about it. he says we now have a "huge problem" and if i lose weight by the end of the summer i wont be able to run- that would suck a lot cuz 1) love it and 2) i could win the state championship this year. im so scared if i lose weight but im also so scared to eat.

EDIT: forgot to mention- they know about my ED which ive had for about four years now. i have like 3 month weight checks at the doctors.

[Rant/Rave] Stuck at the same weight for the past week and half, literally going to cry at work.
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 14:53:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdxsi/stuck_at_the_same_weight_for_the_past_week_and/
Mobile, will flair later. I just need to rant. I weigh myself everyday and I'm getting so desperate. I'm purging everyday for the last 4-5 days but it's so hard, only 1/4 of it comes out then I cry in bed until I fall asleep. I also take laxatives but Its not working. And this is bad because I have finals next week.

I need to get to my first goal in about a month or so and I know I can do it. I know that with 1000 calorie binges in addition to my exercise that I should at least lose 4lbs a week.

I wish I can just lock myself in my room and never go out. My binges that are at most 700-1000 calories are controlled by my happiness, if someone compliments my figure I feel like that's a cue that I deserve to eat. And it's been happening a lot lately, and I'm so tired of people saying that I look good or guys giving me more attention. Today I was jogging and this guy stopped out of his car just to ask me how my day was. WTF. Please leave me alone. And the other day some guy who would never give me attention invited me to his place and he made me pizza. I'm so angry at myself and people right now, I don't want the attention at all.

My supervisor is catching on that I don't eat at all, now I'm forcing myself to eat so she doesn't get concerned. My parents are concerned too because last time we skyped they saw that my ribs were poking out of my shirt. I just don't need anyone's concern right now because I'm not happy with how I look, I feel like I'm not even close enough.

I'm not good enough, and I literally hate myself. I want to progress farther but no matter how much I try I'm just stuck this way.

Dimensions other than bust-waist-hip
Created: Sat Jul 30 14:31:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdudn/dimensions_other_than_bustwaisthip/

[Help] Is there such a thing as B/P anorexia without the bingeing?
Created: Sat Jul 30 13:58:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdp70/is_there_such_a_thing_as_bp_anorexia_without_the/

[Rant/Rave] Dealing head on with the emotional manipulation that led to my disordered eating
Created: Sat Jul 30 13:51:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdo3u/dealing_head_on_with_the_emotional_manipulation/

[Tip] If you have an Aldi near you..
Created: Sat Jul 30 12:24:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdabl/if_you_have_an_aldi_near_you/

[Discussion] Does anyone else
Created: Sat Jul 30 12:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vdaao/does_anyone_else/
Enjoy seeking out strangers who might be anorexic?

Yesterday at work I was serving this huge family of French people and one girl out of the whole family was pretty tall, probably 14-17 and super skinny and lanky and was the only one who didn't order any food. She also kept habitually pinching at her skin on her neck and face and stuff.

[Help] Hairloss prevention tips?
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Sat Jul 30 11:21:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vd00r/hairloss_prevention_tips/

[Help] Body shape changes?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 11:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vcxot/body_shape_changes/
I hope it's still okay to post here, as I'm technically "recovered" I guess.

I still get the bingey urges and want to restrict and I miss my EC stack. But I'm keeping things under control, mostly for the sake of my boyfriend but also so my parents actually let me go back to university in September.

Anyway, let me know.

I was wondering, does anyone else find their body changes its shape every time you lose and gain?

I'm my starting weight again after some very fast significant weight loss (yay recovery! -_-) I find my body shape isn't the same as it was at this weight before.

My collarbones show, which is nice, but my figure is also straighter when it used to be more an hour glass, my face looks different, even my fingers do.

I can't figure out if maybe I really am getting better and I'm just not seeing the crippling dysmorphia anymore, or if my body has really changed shape?

Anyone have any insight?

[Help] Coffee alternatives?
/u/allquiets [5'1 | 140 | 26.53 | -4 | 95 | F(?)/16]
Created: Sat Jul 30 10:20:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vcq52/coffee_alternatives/
Hey everyone! So I just realized that I pretty much need a cup of coffee before I work out to be able to make it through. The problem is that I need 90-120 calories worth of cream and sugar to drink the stuff, since I hate bitter things.

I would drink energy drinks, but I have a fear of them, lol. Any suggestions?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 30, 2016
Created: Sat Jul 30 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vcnay/daily_food_diary_july_30_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 30, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Help] How do you guys move forward after a binge?
Created: Sat Jul 30 09:04:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vceka/how_do_you_guys_move_forward_after_a_binge/

[Tip] Incorporating calorie burn in daily life
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 07:52:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vc55q/incorporating_calorie_burn_in_daily_life/
Hi all, I just wanted to mention that I have casually been doing calf raises and squats when I brush my teeth and during showers and when I'm waiting for the microwave to finish heating my food and waiting for the bus and any time I am standing and sedentary. Basically I incorporate these tiny calorie burns into my day- I know they are absolutely *insignificant* because calories are a bitch to burn (running 1 mile only burns less than half a Snickers bar, fuck THAT) but I always tell myself the muscle development from these little activities will result in greater calorie burn, as developed muscle cells use more energy than fat cells, SO!

I wanted to hear about your own incorporated calorie burn/muscle development habits or whatever habits you have to keep that fat at bay! Are you carrying extra books to develop arm muscles? Doing warrior stance while preparing breakfast?

[Rant/Rave] Last night was just..... a disaster. Fuck National Wing Day.
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Sat Jul 30 07:36:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vc3b6/last_night_was_just_a_disaster_fuck_national_wing/

well, I was doing really well yesterday. My LoseIt! app has my budget at 746cals/day so I can lose 2lbs a week. Lately I have been going over, reaching up to between 800-1000cals most days (especially this past week). Yesterday, by 6pm I only had 398cals for the day, permitting me 356 left.

7:30pm: Call my boyfriend to see what he wants to do for dinner. Before going to his house, I park in the grocery store lot so I can shop before I come over. He "doesn't know, doesn't care, blah blah blah, whatever you want babe, but just so you know, it's National Wing Day..."

Fuck. A flush of anxiety washes over my fucking fat cow brain. I go straight to his house instead of mindful grocery shopping, thinking, "Oh I can eat just a couple right?! No big deal???" TBH have been CRAAAAVING wings the last couple weeks.

Even went so far as to change my calorie budget from -2lbs a week to -1lb a week, which allows me 1200cals/day, JUST so I wouldn't feel bad after I logged post-wing nightmare...

8:30pm: We went to B-Dubs. they had 1/2 price wings going on (Hooters was doing AYCE wings for $15/person but I definitely cannot eat even $15 worth of wings, thankgod). I got 10 lemon pepper wings and ate 8, but then I ordered onion rings on the side and had 4. Of course my skinny as a pencil boyfriend only has 6 wings and 5 onion rings and a beer and I just felt so fat and gross... I wish my boyfriend had a bigger appetite than me...

10pm: I logged and ended up having 1300 cals, after dinner. CHRIST ON A CRACKER.

We head to a bar after, where he runs into middle school friends. This was my first time meeting these people, and I'm trying to be friendly, but all that is consuming my head are poisonous thoughts about being "FAT GROSS UGLY."

While they talked amongst themselves, I escaped to the bathroom and purged. Came back and my boyfriend was talking to his buddy and overheard him say, "She's so perfect but she thinks she's fat! Can you believe it?" And I come up, like, "Uhhhmmmmmmmm........what the hell man."

Then feel sad again, feel excluded, and go purge everything I can.

Then I had 2 vodka sodas. And wanted to cry.

Sorry for the lengthy rant here. today I am only having coffee and a banana until I get off work at 2pm then will go home and make my 175cal zoodles. Gonna do better today. Or at least try to.


[Help] Hold me accountable
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 07:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbzae/hold_me_accountable/
For the 3000+ calories I ate yesterday.

I thought if I started eating normally this shit wasn't supposed to happen. So FUCK eating normally. I am an animal.

I'd rather have dark circles under my eyes and low blood pressure than feel like my stomach is dying. I can literally feel extra fat hanging off my neck and chin. I know it's water retention, but I want to rip it off.

I was weirdly ok with eating all the terrible food yesterday. This morning I have intrusive thoughts, as images of cutting myself flash before my eyes. I'm not even emotionally worked up, which is normally the case when this happens. I'm just pathetic.

People have started commenting on my body. It wasn't ok when I was obese and it isn't ok now. I just want to be skinny without anyone's shit. I have rolls of fat on my stomach. People think because i have skinny wrists that I am skinny. NO. I should just say thanks and end the conversation, not explain that I'm not really skinny because then people will look at me like I am crazy. Because in 2016 a BMI of nearly 22 is considered "skinny" to people. Fuck that.

I wish I could just vomit. I feel food still in my stomach. It hurts. It's fat. It's my punishment and I deserve it 1000℅.

I got good news yesterday and had to ruin it by eating everything. Fucking asshole. I even ate things I'm mildly allergic to. That's how much of a self-defeating fuckup I can be. Who the fuck DOES that....


[Rant/Rave] Spiteful af.
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 63kg (141lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 06:39:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbwuc/spiteful_af/
My boyfriend and I are currently bickering.. at the same time, I want ice cream, but I don't want the satisfaction of him seeing me eat. No ice cream for me!

PS. He just asked me what I'm typing up on Reddit. I said I didn't want to say, and now he's trying to guess. Just said "well I guess if you don't want to tell me, you can't be open with me anymore." Fuck you.

[Discussion] Possible to lose 10 lbs in 3 weeks?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 30 04:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbmwk/possible_to_lose_10_lbs_in_3_weeks/
Have accepted I won't be able to meet my ultimate goal weight by the time semester starts but want to at least get to my next goal weight. Will it be possible to get to around 100 lbs by then? I'd be restricting to 250 cal or less a day.

Hopefully by October I'll be at my ugw. My dorm is right next to the gym so I can force myself to go swimming early in the morning, which will be nice...

[Other] x-post me_irl
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Sat Jul 30 04:52:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbmq6/xpost_me_irl/

[Help] Who are your favourite thin youtubers to watch?
Created: Sat Jul 30 03:20:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vbelx/who_are_your_favourite_thin_youtubers_to_watch/

[Rant/Rave] Surprised with myself! [rave]
Created: Sat Jul 30 02:00:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vb7ng/surprised_with_myself_rave/

[Other] AFK for the weekend, just want to apologise for being annoying lately.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 30 00:03:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vawj5/afk_for_the_weekend_just_want_to_apologise_for/
Welp, I'm off to spend the weekend with my partner and eat and whatnot.

I'm sorry for being a mess, posting a lot of word vomit and mind shit, and generally being annoying.

You've all been amazing and a big support. I could've ended up a much bigger mess without you.

I hope y'all have a good weekend <3 See you Monday :)

[Rant/Rave] So excited for this weekend! (rant/rave)
Created: Fri Jul 29 23:56:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vavrl/so_excited_for_this_weekend_rantrave/
So with the long weekend coming up starting tomorrow in Canada in taking the entire weekend to hike. Im planning 30km over 3 days. It's going to be awesome, plus I'm heading out alone so just some really high protein snacks and lots of fruits to keep me going then an awesome high protein dinner each day. Going to look and feel so awesome!!! Plus I love that I can eat a good deal more on days like this.
Cabt flair on mobile

[Rant/Rave] I just ate an entire pizza.
/u/allquiets [5'1 | 140 | 26.53 | -4 | 95 | F(?)/16]
Created: Fri Jul 29 23:25:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vasix/i_just_ate_an_entire_pizza/
It was one of those Ristorante ones. 920 calories. I feel like I'm going to die. I already was bad about calories today, but I went to the gym, ran harder than I have all week, and was absolutely ravenous by the time I got home. I've eaten ~1800 calories? So I'm definitely going to gain. And I can't purge them. I tried. I can't even throw up right, I'm such a failure.

I was doing okay. Not great, but okay. I was down two more pounds. I was going to go out to dinner with my parents tomorrow. Not anymore, obviously. I'm going to drink so much coffee I shake and then I'm going to run at the gym until I throw up. I'm so disgusting. God.

E: Hey guys! I ended up falling asleep. I'm doing a lot better now. I'm just going to not worry too much and let myself intuitively this weekend, and then get back on track on Monday. Love you all so much!!!

[Other] What are some excuses I can use to buy 'healthy', 'diet' food?
Created: Fri Jul 29 22:19:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4vakvn/what_are_some_excuses_i_can_use_to_buy_healthy/

[Help] Restricting causing eyelashes to fall out?
/u/throwawayyayay14434 [5'6" | CW: 125 | 20.2 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 20:49:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4va8p9/restricting_causing_eyelashes_to_fall_out/
My eyelashes have been falling out faster than normal, which could be attributed to a number of causes (e.g. mascara or a birth control pill I've been on, although it's been ~2 years since I started the pill so I don't think it would suddenly cause this). However, I was wondering if restricting could cause eyelashes to fall out? And if so, how should I mitigate this? Take vitamins, etc.? Thanks!

[Help] How do you guys deal at Hibachi? :-(
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 20:44:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4va83d/how_do_you_guys_deal_at_hibachi/
I'm petrified. Monday, my family is going out to lunch at a hibachi place. That gives me two days to figure out what I'm going to have to force down my hole when we get there.

They use so much oil and butter and uGghhggHhhGg

I'm freaking out... if you guys go to a place like this what do you order? How do you count the calories? Do you just give in for a day and admit defeat and just eat your fill or is there some magic way I can figure out how to maintain some record of caloric intake?

The place doesn't have calorie counts online and literally every source I can find has vastly different calories...

[Other] scale says -17 lbs, i don't believe it. still looking and feeling exactly the same, like a fat pig. (before & after)
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 20:07:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4va2xq/scale_says_17_lbs_i_dont_believe_it_still_looking/

[Help] i can't fucking do it
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 19:53:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4va0xn/i_cant_fucking_do_it/
today i had a horrible binge. i ate at least 700 calories today, maybe more. i'm so scared to weigh myself tomorrow, i know i will have gained weight. i feel so disgusting and obese and repulsive. also i was looking at clothes online and i'm still considered an xl. all of this for fucking nothing. i'm a worthless fat disgusting pig and i always will be. i hate myself.

Anyone here lose weight from Topamax?
Created: Fri Jul 29 19:39:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9z1r/anyone_here_lose_weight_from_topamax/

[Rant/Rave] I can't behave when I'm around my boyfriend [rant]
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 19:36:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9yjm/i_cant_behave_when_im_around_my_boyfriend_rant/
He's got that young guy metabolism, plus he skates, bikes and plays baseball, so of course he can drink all the beer he wants plus pizza and burritos all day.

Before we started spending significant time together, I was so good about restricting/fasting and avoiding beer (my weakness). But he always shows up with a case of beer and wants to take me to get food. I just feel like when I say no he is disappointed and I feel so bad! So I think, "okay, everyone has a cheat day here and there..." then when we spend like 5 days together they all become cheat days! As soon as he leaves I'm back on track but I spend more days with him than not :(

I'm mostly just ranting but if you little ones wanna throw some advice my way, I'd happily take some. Love you guys ❤

[Intro] Introduction, I guess c:
/u/dec4y [5'3|cw:148|25.4|-16lbs|F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 19:19:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9wa0/introduction_i_guess_c/
Hey guys! I wanted to make an introductory post as I've been lurking here for a long time and finally decided to become an actual member of the community c:. I don't really know if these posts are common, but I felt like I should alert y'all of my presence somehow? Lol.
I relapsed recently pretty much full force, actually even more than ever before, so I figured why not make myself known and be a part of something, y'know?
Anyway, I look forward to actually getting to know you guys c:

[Rant/Rave] It's been a while, and I think I'm over "recovery"
/u/incerta [5'4"| 105? | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 18:37:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9qez/its_been_a_while_and_i_think_im_over_recovery/
I haven't posted here in months since I was hospitalized in inpatient. It's just been too triggering. While I was there, and since then I've gained a LOT of weight. Like over 20 pounds. I've been trying to be okay with it, but something snapped today and I feel like complete fucking garbage. I mean, I always feel shitty about my body. The only "good" thing to come from gaining weight is that my breasts gained a measly cup size (barely).

Basically, I think I'm done with "recovery". I can't stand feeling and looking this huge, being able to squeeze all the fat. I want to feel think and lovely and unique again. I'm starting to hate myself again and I just don't think I can do it.

[Intro] Intro and average
Created: Fri Jul 29 18:20:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9o4h/intro_and_average/
Hi, I'm looking to lose 4-5 pounds and see how I feel, maybe keep going. I don't count calories but I just found out my tdee and the amount of calories I can consume each day to lose - 278 if sedentary and 464 if lightly active.
I look very average, my body doesn't look so thin, probably because I'm small boned.
Stats - 5'3 74lbs

I've been seeing 74lbs every time I step on scale, it's crap.

Anyway, I'd like to hear your opinion, is it possible to have a bmi of 13.1 and not look thin at all?
I don't have any friends to state their opinion on my body. Nobody makes comments, have no clue what to think. So I come here for opinions.

[Rant/Rave] I am having a Not-So-Good Day
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Fri Jul 29 17:46:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v9je7/i_am_having_a_notsogood_day/
I am feeling very sad and lonely for no apparent reason and I have eaten 300 calories more than I was supposed to (it was 300 calories of pre-cooked jimmy dean turkey sausage, so not the *worst* thing ever, but still I'm now at 1200 for the day) and I just want to vent. I'm gonna get really fucking high and fast tomorrow and hopefully things will be better but for now I am not feeling so hot~

[Help] Kinda worried...
Created: Fri Jul 29 16:12:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v957k/kinda_worried/
Hello, my first time posting here, been a lurker a while.
Anyways, I've been a bulimic for almost ten years now. And I'm really tired of it. I've been the same weight almost the whole time. 55 to 60 kg 174 cms.

Last couple of weeks I've kept binge and purge free, just trying to eat clean and stopped counting calories. Did some walking, nothing crazy. It has gone really well, feel better than ever, my face isn't as puffy, I feel great.

BUT, everything I eat comes out half digested, only had two half solid poops in two weeks. Is it just some kind of transitioning period? I've been losing weight again which is great but not my aim right now... I don't have any abdominal pain but I just seem to be unable to digest properly.

Does anyone have experience with that?

[Rant/Rave] I just can't stop eating
Created: Fri Jul 29 15:50:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v91iw/i_just_cant_stop_eating/
It has gotten to the point that I have fantasies about being kidnapped, left alone in a Dungeon with only water for a few months and then get rescued and look all skinny and beautiful.

Oh dear, I probably should be locked up..

More to check if I'm actually insane oops

[Other] Binged 2 days in a row
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 15:41:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v904v/binged_2_days_in_a_row/
How do you guys get back into fasting? I fasted for a week successfully after a spontaneous bout of self control and willpower... but it only comes spontaneously...

I'm posting here to declare my shame and know how much my face will puff up after 2 days of eating more than 2000kcal. I come home from work and stuff my face with grilled cheese sandwiches and pb and j sandwiches (today I had 3 open faced sandwiches in addition to a ramen and an open faced grilled cheese sandwich) after garden work. I know I will gain so much weight because of shitty sleep and my slip up. I promise not to eat for 4 days and will survive on tea and coffee. Wish me luck, my piggy self will inevitably stuff my piehole with snacks and sandwiches after a work day.

[Discussion] Saw this article and it seemed really similar to things people with EDs exhibit. DAE experience these habits?
/u/Saltycook [5'4"| 128# |22.4| -35# | Female]
Created: Fri Jul 29 14:27:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v8nv3/saw_this_article_and_it_seemed_really_similar_to/

[Rant/Rave] Bloody typical. The day after I decide to give myself a few days break from restricting, and accept some weight gain...
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 29 14:08:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v8kaj/bloody_typical_the_day_after_i_decide_to_give/
... all my water weight from the last 2 weeks is seemingly dumped and I look leaner than ever. Now I have to face putting on a couple of lbs.

I think I'm going to force myself to stick with it though. Free eating until Monday, TRY to be sensible (wont happen, Sunday is gonna be awful..) then - hopefully with brain fog all gone - devise a new more sustainable plan and get my head and shit together to begin on August 1st.

/u/Glitter_Cunt made me realise that I need this to be sustainable, and not rush it - especially with the weight lifting. I can't just fast all the time, binge, cry about not losing as fast as I wanted, half ass it anymore. If I insist on drastically cutting my fat (which I do) and weight lifting (which I also do!) I need to be more clever about it, and more compromising with this body (and mind) of mine.

Do I want a body like this for one weekend and then risk binging myself to oblivion, like I was starting to risk again? Or do I want to plan that will enable me to KEEP a body like this? Or.. one that's even better? Firmer?

As she said in all her wisdom.. marathon, not a sprint. *-deep breaths-*

So perhaps rather than put me off, I should take this as motivation. I know I need a reset for my psyche. I need to clear this brain fog, and really get a *good fucking* plan for the weeks to come.

I'll gain a couple of lbs by Monday. I can lose one or two in four weeks before my break away with my boyfriend, and wear my pretty dresses and singlets and look exactly like this, with a new more sustainable plan and a more relaxed mindset.

But damn this just got so much harder guys because I look FINNNEEE rn.

[Intro] [Intro] Never fully recovered and now I'm slipping back.
Created: Fri Jul 29 13:43:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v8g01/intro_never_fully_recovered_and_now_im_slipping/

[Rant/Rave] Weighed in, hadn't lost weight the entire month...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 13:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v88pc/weighed_in_hadnt_lost_weight_the_entire_month/
Checked my log and realized I had been binge eating 6/7 days a week (and not purging) every week this month. :/ Glad I didn't gain weight but feeling kind of stupid and frustrated with myself. What a waste of time.

[Help] So I need a new scale..any recommendations?
Created: Fri Jul 29 12:28:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v824r/so_i_need_a_new_scaleany_recommendations/

[Rant/Rave] It's been a loooong month, without you my friends....
Created: Fri Jul 29 12:18:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v80h7/its_been_a_loooong_month_without_you_my_friends/

[Goal] Mrw i feel guilty about that 300cal donut i ate this morning.
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Fri Jul 29 12:09:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7yoc/mrw_i_feel_guilty_about_that_300cal_donut_i_ate/

[Rant/Rave] I just at 900 calories worth of cookie dough....
/u/rad_dads [5'9" | 152 | 22.0 | F | GW: 125]
Created: Fri Jul 29 11:44:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7tzg/i_just_at_900_calories_worth_of_cookie_dough/
And I really really really want to purge it but Im not going to because purging is the worst and I really need to stop. I keep trying to remind myself that I'm still under my TDEE and its not the end of the world but it's so hard. Especially since I've been keeping my daily calories under 800 recently so this feels like so much :( This isn't even close to my worst binge ever but I've been doing so well restricting that I feel like a total failure. This morning I was in such a good mood and now it's all ruined.

Sorry for ranting, hope you all are having a fantastic day :)

[Intro] [Intro] Just had my second kid. My husband is my thinspo. :(
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 11:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7ql6/intro_just_had_my_second_kid_my_husband_is_my/

I had a baby 8 weeks ago. Somehow I got up to 180lbs while pregnant. YIKES. No stretch marks or any visible damage, thankfully.

I am now 125lbs and trying to lose the last 10-15lbs to get back to 110-115range. I'm eating 600-800 calories a day at most and breastfeeding, so the weight loss has been going pretty well.

My husband is 5'10" and only weighs 130lbs, so I was very stressed out being heavier than him while pregnant and immediately after. Not sure if any of you can relate. He is a cyclist and always racing and training - so even though he's just 130lbs, he eats probably 4000+ calories a day, even more when he's racing or really training hard.

I am a heavy restricter and work out a lot. (Mostly walking, yoga, and weights at home.) For the most part, staying in the 600-800 calorie range is easy for me and I don't have any tendencies to binge. I don't drink because I make terrible food decisions, though.

My 30th birthday is only a few months away and we're going to Hawaii. I am already feeling paranoid about all the family photos we'll be taking in swimsuits, so I'm mulling over trying to get down to 105 or 100 so I have some wiggle room in case I mess up.

[Help] Experience with ADD/ADHD meds
/u/sisternature [5'2 |SW:119 |CW:114.5 |UGW:105 |F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 11:09:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7nd9/experience_with_addadhd_meds/
Hi! Ive been a lurker for a while and have commented on a few posts but I havent actually made one until now (i have no idea how to flair this on mobile). Im 19 years old and I 100% think I have ADD but my parents never wanted to test me for it like they did with my other siblings (my brother did end up having ADD and takes meds). My boyfriend really wants me to go get tested but for the past year I have been too scared because Im afraid that the doctor will notice my ED and any weird thoughts I have in my head. Im scared I will be turned away even though I have done so badly in school and freshman year of college due to not remembering things and not being able to pay attention. How did those of you who have ADD/ADHD find out you had it and was it a hard process with your ED? How do the everyday meds effect you? Also, I live in the US and always have.
Didnt mean to rant on about myself, thought some info about me would help.

[Rant/Rave] What a great week!
/u/trapqueenB [5'4 | 134 lb | 23 | -30 lb | F/22]
Created: Fri Jul 29 10:25:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7f7k/what_a_great_week/

Things ended with this guy I was dating and I have been pretty bummed out. The only good that came out of it was that I was able to regularly exercise again after work instead of hanging out with him. So every day since Saturday I went running for about 3.5-5.5 miles! I also have been restricting, probably 300-500 calories. However, because of this I could only run 1 mile yesterday and had to walk the rest. So now I'm kind of stuck between not wanting to eat but wanting to exercise.... tips?
But anyways I weighed myself this morning and the scale said 133.9! I lost 4 lbs! In the past, when I get to around this weight I always, for some reason, end up messing it all up and going back up to 138-139. However, I am determined to not do that this time. Hopefully my next post will be omg I'm under 130 ( Which I haven't been since middle school). Wish me luck guys!

[Discussion] Who here smokes/has quit smoking?
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 29 10:24:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7f4o/who_here_smokeshas_quit_smoking/
[discussion] sorry on mobile!

Just curious who here smokes cigarettes or has quit and how this has affected your weight gain/loss.

I want to quit, I've been smoking since I was 15. Am scared of the weight gain. Also just scared of life without nicotine. Anyways I would like to hear your experiences and opinions.

And yes I've been over to r/stopsmoking, before anyone suggests it 😛

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 29, 2016
Created: Fri Jul 29 10:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7b71/daily_food_diary_july_29_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Help] Can this ban me from MyFitnessPal?
/u/i-cannot-tell-you [5' 0"| 106 | 21.8 | -35 | f]
Created: Fri Jul 29 10:01:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7azo/can_this_ban_me_from_myfitnesspal/
I've got 5 years of data in that site I never want to lose. But recently I discovered if you go to Goals, you can put in a custom number for Calories. Usually I've gotten around their 1200 limit by Quick Adding a couple hundred per day, but changing my goal calories will more accurately reflect my macros.

I've heard of people getting banned from MFP in the past for logging consistently too few calories, so my question is, if I set my goal calories to 900, is there a chance that they'll ban me?

Thanks :)

[Tip] Good BMR/TDEE/BMI Calculator
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 09:58:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7adu/good_bmrtdeebmi_calculator/

[Thinspo] Friday Thinspo
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 09:48:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v78hj/friday_thinspo/

[Discussion] Those of you who had recovered (in any way big or small), and now are back into your ED. What triggered you?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 09:14:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v7292/those_of_you_who_had_recovered_in_any_way_big_or/
I practically forgot I ever had an ED so much time had passed. Then one day at work, my boss was talking about a horse jockey he knew who said he had to stop racing because he developed such a bad ED that it almost killed him.

My ED came back full force that day.

EDs are weird AF.

[Help] UGH day 1 of 3 day fast
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 09:00:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6zn7/ugh_day_1_of_3_day_fast/

[Rant/Rave] This is why I shouldn't work from home.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 08:45:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6wws/this_is_why_i_shouldnt_work_from_home/
I decided to relax and work from home today. Yay! I had extra time so I decided to bake some brownies from scratch, and I promised myself I wouldn't eat any of them. I'd just bake them and leave the in the fridge for my girlfriend, I was leaving this afternoon to go out with a friend anyways.

Well while they were baking I licked the spoon. Which cause the spiral of chocolate cravings. So I grabbed four cookies and chewed and spit them while I was waiting. I didn't swallow a single bite, at least. Then the brownies finished.

While they were cooling I chugged water and said to myself, okay you can c&s just one (and they're little bite sized ones) then you're done for today. Stop messing up.

So I c&sed one. The I ate one. Then I panicked because I wasnt supposed to eat anything until I went out to dinner tonight. So I chugged a cup of water and calculated how many jumping jacks I'd have to do to burn off the one bitty brownie. It was 15 minutes worth of jumping jacks.

I set the timer, did four minutes, then ran to the bathroom and almost threw up. But even if I felt like I kinda of should've let myself just throw up the brownie, Im still really afraid of barfing. So instead I ate 1/2c of frozen yogurt. (70) to settle my stomach.

So lesson learned: If you let yourself lick the brownie batter covered spoon, you'll end up eating 130 Cal's net and almost barfing from jumbling up your water and chocolate logged stomach. Go me.

I should've just went into work today.

[Discussion] Purging for comfort, not necessarily to get food out. Is this really different than most people on here?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 29 08:19:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6sem/purging_for_comfort_not_necessarily_to_get_food/
I feel really weird about this. I've used laxative since I was 12-13ish to purge. But I would always purge by puking too. But, the puking wasn't necessarily to actually get food out. I mean, I probably never even got 1/3 of the food out, because I wasn't drinking enough water to do that while eating. But it just makes me feel really calm when I'm dry heaving, or even if I puke just a little. Sometimes I'll do it if I've just had a bad day, maybe I didn't even eat.

I have no idea why, or what the point is. Or why it makes me feel good when it doesn't make me feel less full, and I know I'm not really getting anything out.

Has anyone felt anything like this?

[Rant/Rave] I'm so sad all the time
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 07:44:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6mqd/im_so_sad_all_the_time/
I have a lot of good things going on in my life at the moment, I am about to go back to uni, I just passed my driving test, I have a perfect SO who I live with. I have enough money to pay the bills.

But I just can't seem to drag myself from under this black cloud of sadness. I've lost 2 stone (28lbs) from my highest weight and surpassed 2 GWs. I am XS everywhere pretty much - which is ridiculous but there we are. But I still have 11 lbs to go, and I know that I probably won't be happy when I get there.

Getting dressed takes me almost an hour of changing outfits and crying. I have no energy even though I am still eating 700-800 calories per day. My tummy is still fat and sticks out, my thighs still touch.

When I think about all the things I should be doing; making sure to cleanse tone and moisturise daily, take off my nail varnish before it chips, do SOMETHING with my horrid thin, dry hair, putting on make up to try and hide how ugly I am, being social, doing uni work around actual work, being happy at work, making sure to walk more and eat less. It's just all too much i don't have the energy and I just want to go to bed and not get up for a week. As I can't actually do that I am sitting at work with chipped nails, in an outfit I hate with a crap hair do, hating myself and trying to avoid other people.

I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way, and it will pass eventually- what do you do to perk yourself up when you feel like an absolute failure?

Sorry for the long rant! thanks for reading.

[Help] A bit of a dilemma
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:48:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6ehz/a_bit_of_a_dilemma/
Okay so! My family is going to england today! yayayayayayayayay! I'm super excited, but the one thing I am concerned about is my scale. I weigh myself every day to make sure that I am on the right track and I only trust my scale, but we are going to be living in close quarters for 10 days. I don't want any of them to find out that I brought a freaking scale with me because it feels super strange... Should I bring my scale and hide it in my suitcase and just wake up before everyone else to weigh myself, or should I just leave it at home? Is this just a recipe for disaster?

I'm super concerned about showing disordered behaviour to my mom, because she knows about my bulemia and wants me to recover and deal with it, but I'm not ready.

[Discussion] Bulimics: Do you think you will ever be able to stop?
/u/Itsemurha [177cm | 71.9kg| 22.43| -47kg | GW: 60kg | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:45:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6e3f/bulimics_do_you_think_you_will_ever_be_able_to/
I'm starting to think this will never end.

[Rant/Rave] I'm so worried about my future
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:15:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v6a34/im_so_worried_about_my_future/

[Discussion] Guy users, what's your ideal body? Do you want to stay thin, bulk up or have muscles?
/u/_saisonenenfer [175cm | not thin :( | M]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:13:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v69sn/guy_users_whats_your_ideal_body_do_you_want_to/
this is my ideal



I'm so scared about my future
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:11:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v69lq/im_so_scared_about_my_future/

[Rant/Rave] Anyone just love dancing around their house?
/u/commtra [5'7 | GW:110 | -11 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:10:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v69dz/anyone_just_love_dancing_around_their_house/
I love putting on some random latest pop hits playlist from Spotify and dance around for hours. I'm agoraphobic & going outside for a run or to the gym to exercise drains me more mentally than physically.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! July 29, 2016
Created: Fri Jul 29 06:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v68j0/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_july_29_2016/
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for July 29, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!


1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Tip] A tip for summer <3
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 29 05:51:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v678g/a_tip_for_summer_3/

[Rant/Rave] I love fasting!!!
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 29 05:43:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v66b4/i_love_fasting/

[Discussion] Not hungry during fast
Created: Fri Jul 29 02:37:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v5njw/not_hungry_during_fast/
Hey I'm approaching 72 hours for my current fast and I'm not hungry AT all. DAE get like this? And why is it? I've been drinking A LOT of water lately so I'm really hydrated right now and feel pretty great. Sadly though I have to end my fast tonight :/

[Help] Calories in Costa coffee? Online counts not helping!
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! |GW 140| UGW 112|-7lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 23:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v55tw/calories_in_costa_coffee_online_counts_not_helping/
I'm going out for a coffee with my sister later today but when I'm looking calories up online I'm getting wildly varying counts?! Does anyone know how many calories are in a medium skinny cappuccino from Costa?

[Meme/Humor] People: "You've lost so much weight! Do you even treat yourself to more?" Me: "Oh, I do."
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 23:14:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v50w4/people_youve_lost_so_much_weight_do_you_even/

[Help] Want to try a fast but it concerns me.
Created: Thu Jul 28 21:45:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4p6b/want_to_try_a_fast_but_it_concerns_me/

[Discussion] Low calorie foods that aren't artificial?
Created: Thu Jul 28 21:30:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4n35/low_calorie_foods_that_arent_artificial/

[Other] Buying food makes me feel fuller. Vegan proed food haul ya'll
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 21:21:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4ltb/buying_food_makes_me_feel_fuller_vegan_proed_food/

[Help] I feel really sick
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 21:01:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4ity/i_feel_really_sick/
It's ~85 degrees F here and I've only eaten 700 calories. I could let myself eat 200 more but I feel *so sick* because of the heat and because of a lack of food (funny how your body combats hunger by making you feel too sick to eat). What are your tips for surviving too hot weather? I can barely function on normal days and I'm literally shaking now

[Help] Cleanse *tmi*
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 20:24:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v4dfa/cleanse_tmi/
I know cleanses are crap, but I'm doing one anyway. I just feel super gross and I am actually constipated. After I get home tomorrow I'm going to do the Miralax/Gatorade thing, but with half the Miralax.

Has anyone done this before? How long can I expect to be pooping?

On mobile can't flair

Low Calorie foods that are artificial?
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:59:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v49mk/low_calorie_foods_that_are_artificial/

[Tip] Found an awesome food item at the store!
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:26:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v44f2/found_an_awesome_food_item_at_the_store/
It's single serve mashed potatoes in a cup! I get the Idahoan brand and the home style "buttery" flavor. It makes a pretty decent serving size, is pretty filling, is SUPER tasty, and is 165 calories for the whole cup! They are usually a dollar a cup and I have seen them everywhere.

[Rant/Rave] My binge wasn't as bad as I thought!
/u/Healthilyornot [5'2" | 137lbs | -56lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:21:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v43o9/my_binge_wasnt_as_bad_as_i_thought/
I binged horribly yesterday, so today I woke up and was determined not to eat....and around noon I messed up, eating 900 calories of sugary crap all at once. Frustrated, I resolved to stop myself and run it all off later. Well, I just got back from burning off all 900 calories, and I realized I'd accidentally logged 3 servings of something I only ate one of, and had only binged on 700 calories!
So my run cut into yesterday's (actually huge, like 4000+) binge, and I'm back on track with restricting!
It's the little victories, lol...

/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:09:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v41qm/cant_stop_binging/

[Help] How do you stop your stomach from making noises?
Created: Thu Jul 28 19:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v40uh/how_do_you_stop_your_stomach_from_making_noises/

[Discussion] Do you ever feel afraid of your disorder?
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 18:47:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3yia/do_you_ever_feel_afraid_of_your_disorder/
Sometimes, I feel afraid that I won't be able to stop restricting when I get to a dangerous level. I've always been able to stop in the past (usually b/c binges), but what if I can't stop this time? Do you guys ever feel afraid, even though you're not actually ready to recover?

[Rant/Rave] no i haven't lost weight
Created: Thu Jul 28 17:22:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3lr3/no_i_havent_lost_weight/
i know this comes up on like a daily basis but seriously it really annoys me when people ask if i've lost weight????

no i haven't lost weight!!! the numbers on the scale are basically the same and i don't look any different (again, not dysmorphic, it's apparent from all the 'progress' pics)

my best friend's mum basically criticised her for not being as skinny as me the other night and i felt so horrible for her because she's pretty obsessive about exercise (but not her diet) and she clearly felt bad about it (as would i)

then she asked what size i was wearing and it was an XS (because i'm really short) and then she was like 'oh, i could fit into that' like it was a competition (she doesn't know how much i care about this shit, i always act like the one who eats a lot but happens to lose weight)

the fatlogic also kills me - because i still act like someone who loves food and eats all the time, she was like 'oh, i think you're losing your baby fat' (lol)

again just a lot of food stuff i needed to get out about the entire last month but oh my god it's so frustrating

[Discussion] Torani 0 cal Syrup = The Devil
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 28 17:15:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3kpk/torani_0_cal_syrup_the_devil/
Been drinking this in my coffee.. and I'm gaining weight. So, this "0cal" syrup, 15 cal individual packaged creamer, and coffee. Wtf.. and eating at a deficit. But at 111 pounds, very slightly going up, when I was at 108 last week? Like, uh, no motherfucker I don't think so. I'm about to chuck this out the window. Back to diet soda instead of coffee for me.

Can you guys think of anything that could be in the syrup that's either making me gain, or retain water?

EDIT: And I made a rave post about this demon syrup a week ago uuuugh

[Rant/Rave] So I am finally back on track. Day 3 of fasting wish me luck.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 17:01:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3iee/so_i_am_finally_back_on_track_day_3_of_fasting/
The first two days I went to the gym but now I'm just too loopy and sleepy lol.
I've been eating homemade 5 cal (or less?) popsicles and vitamins everyday. Tomorrow I will eat dinner with my mom to break the fast but since I've officially gone vegan (right after discovering halo top :'( ) my dinner options are a salad and sweet potato fries 😎 I'm 133 again (binged up to 149) but soon I will be in the 120s again and after that the world!!

[Other] My 310 calorie day
/u/prettyvac4nt [5' | 100lb | 20.5 | -23lb | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 16:52:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3h21/my_310_calorie_day/
I feel like I've had loads of food for 300 calories today, this is unusually low for me but I had a binge day yesterday so I need to make up for this.

Meal 1: 189 calories

* 100g chopped strawberries - 32 calories
* 1 cup cherries - 74 calories
* 1 banana - 75 calories

All dipped in Walden Farms chocolate dip, 8 calories in 4 tablespoons of dip.
I'm in the UK so Walden Farms have to provide accurate calorie counts, there's 13 calories in 100g if anyone is wondering so the whole tub is only 44 calories! It tastes amazing with strawberries, and it's so low calorie it's my new safe binge food. I actually like that combination better than real chocolate.

Meal 2: 123 calories

* 1 small chicken breast - 85 calories
* 2 cups of steamed broccoli - 28 calories
* 1/8 packet fajita seasoning - 10 calories

I chopped the chicken up and mixed it with the broccoli and seasoned it to add taste, I'm estimating the broccoli as I forgot to weigh it but it was a decent sized meal.

I've also had sugarfree squash (like 4 calories per glass) and chai tea/coffee with sweeteners and no milk, and I burned about 100 calories according to my Lifesum app from walking around town.

I'm hoping to repeat this for the next few days to compensate for the binge :)

[Rant/Rave] Impostor syndrome =/
Created: Thu Jul 28 16:42:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3fg9/impostor_syndrome/

[Other] Motivation from a messy apartment
Created: Thu Jul 28 16:41:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3f97/motivation_from_a_messy_apartment/
So I moved a few weeks ago and umm.. my stuff is slowly getting organized and put away, but I still have piles of things. I have too many things.

I have a pile of clothes that's mostly stuff I don't wear too much. Right on top of that pile is a pair shorts that I can't fit into anymore. That just so happens to look exactly like the pair I do wear. Without thinking, I've grabbed that same pair many times. Resulting in shaming myself. Forcing myself to remember when I did used to fit in them. When they were big on me in fact. It works.

I might be a bit of a masocist.

[Help] Eh. Had a mini-binge out of panic. Think I'm gonna give myself a break the rest of the week. Thoughts?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 28 16:16:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v3bd0/eh_had_a_minibinge_out_of_panic_think_im_gonna/
I've already had around 600 mini-binge calories today despite it supposed to be a fast day. I had 1200kcal yesterday, despite planning for 750. 200 or so the day before, despite it being a fast. So this week is already bust - and I think the *only* way I'm going to stop myself panic binging tonight is if I just have a good, large, healthy dinner.. the 600kcal I've racked up already was from banana-oatmeal cookies I baked and *meant* to freeze. I paniced because of my failures lately, AND my digital scale ran out of battery literally just tonight (Nooo! My baby!!!) and I don't have a spare. Currently telling myself that the carb cals from the cookies are going towards replenishing my glycogen stores rather than fat after being low-carb and near fasting the last few days. Lol. I always tell myself that when I go carb-crazy..

I want to reach for them again SO SO BADLY, and am finding it easier to resist the thought by planning on making a big healthy dinner in a moment.

I'll put on a few lbs - maybe not the next couple of days, I wont go over TDEE then, but I'll binge this Sunday as I usually do even eating normally until then, "Sunday eats" is so engrained now.. but it's August 1st on Monday. New week, new month. Perfect time for a solid month long push to lose as much of that gain for my break away with my boyfriend on September 1st(we made up, btw xD We always do, we're pretty solid!). And this time, be a little bit more intelligent about it.

Who knows, maybe I'll even end up looking leaner. Last time I had a break (a whole week), I looked leaner than ever when the bloat and water went away. God knows why. I seriously can't explain that but it's what happened (does anyone know why this would have happened?). Maybe I'll get lucky like that this time, too.

And screw the 88lbs goal for now, I'm seriously not ready for it obviously.. new goal, stay under 95lbs until I am ready for more.

I know I don't need to post here for validation of my 'plan' - I know that isn't what this subs about at all. But I'm seeking it anyway. I'm asking if all of this is
'okay'. Is it okay to accept a few lbs weight gain over the next few days? Is it okay to give myself a break? What will happen to my body? I know that's all ridiculous... but I hope you understand why I ask. If nothing else, you guys know what an utter mess I've been..

Thanks <3

[Rant/Rave] I'm a horrible person
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 15:08:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2zz8/im_a_horrible_person/
I have an aquiantance who has an eating disorder, and she tends to be fairly open about it. Well, she blogged about how she wasn't actually diagnosed as anorexic by her doctor because she didn't meet the criteria, since apparently she is not afraid of gaining weight. She said, "Well, I won't gain weight if I don't eat, and I'm not going to eat more than I plan to, so why would I be afraid of gaining?"

Fast forward a few months, she had to be hospitalized because she was close to dying she was so thin, and... of course I think that's terrible, but I'm also incredibly jealous of her. I feel like I have no control over my eating. I'll restrict heavily for a week, and then compulsively binge it all back. I don't want to die, but if I had that kind of self-control... well, I might be dead, but at least I wouldn't be fat.

[Discussion] List of "diet alternatives" that actually taste normal?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 14:46:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2w4k/list_of_diet_alternatives_that_actually_taste/
E.g. Halo Top, Weight Watchers Cheese String, Vitamin Water Zero, Diet Coke, etc.

What diet versions of food have you tried that tasted good?

[Intro] Stressed out & restricting
Created: Thu Jul 28 14:38:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2up3/stressed_out_restricting/
I've been lurking this sub for a while now and it's been so nice to read about everything that people think and go through and realize that I'm not alone in how I think about food and my body.

So this is my first post here and mostly I'm just stressed out right now and just need to get this out! I've been having to go to CD treatment so I have to be sober right now, but because of that my ED symptoms are out of control. I've been restricting to 500 calories or less a day, basically fasting completely aside from fluids. I've lost 5 pounds and I feel good about it but I'm starting to feel sick, last night I could barely sleep because my stomach was hurting. Today I felt like I needed to just eat a little something just to ease some of the pain (it's been about 4 days since I've had something solid) but the thought of food is so sickening to me, like I could barely chew & swallow. Does this happen to anyone else?? Just feeling sad about it.

[Goal] Depression and self-loathing subsided, now I can't lose weight
Created: Thu Jul 28 13:21:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2h50/depression_and_selfloathing_subsided_now_i_cant/
I had a breakthrough last night in understanding what's been happening to me for the past months. My weight loss stalled, then slowly has crept up...15lbs up. Every day I try to meanspo myself back into restriction and EVERY GODDAMN DAY I BINGE.

Then last night I realized that I lost all of my weight while I was in a period of severe depression & self-loathing. I was able to punish myself and endure the pain because I thought I deserved it, and I hated myself.

I'm not in that head space any more. I don't think I deserve pain. I don't hate myself. I still think I look gross but maybe it's time to try a more compassionate approach.

[Rant/Rave] She snapped a picture of me.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:51:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2bs3/she_snapped_a_picture_of_me/
How emberessing

I've been eyeing these vegan Paleo cookies for awhile now so I decided to treat myself. But I get very scared of things idk the Cal contents on so I started picking out the chocolate chips . Two ladies I guess saw me started giggling amongst themselves and snapped a picture.

I'm so emberessed.

Also any guesstimating of the cals ? It was made with almond flour and maple syrup? Bahaha

[Intro] This is just your weekly "long time lurker, first time poster" post.
/u/montagemontage [5'4" | CW: 🐮 | GW: 95 | -15 | f]
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:46:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v2avs/this_is_just_your_weekly_long_time_lurker_first/
Hello, there!

Before reddit, I primarily followed pro-ED communities on xanga and livejournal (anyone else remember those? anyone? bueller?). I've gained and lost up to 50 pounds (I'm starting a new "downswing" again) multiple times due to my constant cycle of binging and restricting. Last year I was finally formerly referred to a nutritionist and began ED treatment (for BED and atypical bulimia nervosa) after a nurse noticed the bruising and bloodshot eyes my b/p cycles were causing. I decided to join r/proED because I honestly have really missed having an online community of people who understand what it's like to have such an utterly fucked up relationship to food, exercise, and other daily activities most people can engage in/with without thinking. In about a month I start my final year of college. Despite the fact that I once dreamt of (could have, would have, should have) graduating with highest honors, publications under my belt, and a post-grad fellowship, I threw it all away recently as I destroyed my GPA, dropped/missed research deadlines, and stayed in bed up to 18 hours a day due to a major depressive episode that lasted 6 months. My life isn't just struggles, though - I'm actually a pretty easy-going and optimistic person when I'm not feeling particularly mentally ill. I like reading, music, social justice (particularly economic and racial justice), and dream of one day going into academia.

Nice to meet you all, and I'm excited to start contributing!

/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:12:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v24ip/i_beat_the_plateau/
I've been at a plateau of 125-126 for the past two weeks and haven't been weighing myself at home because my scale is apparently way off. So right now I'm at a doctors appointment and they weighed me and I'm 123.2!!!! I'm so happy I could cry. I'm getting closer and closer to my first goal of 120 and then 115ish :)

[Help] My new psychiatrist suggested I try two drugs that suppress appetite and increase metabolism
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:08:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v23wg/my_new_psychiatrist_suggested_i_try_two_drugs/

[Help] Tumblr blogs to follow?
Created: Thu Jul 28 12:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v22uz/tumblr_blogs_to_follow/

[Goal] What's everyone's motivation today?
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 11:49:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v20cd/whats_everyones_motivation_today/
Today I bought $200 worth of clothes off my favourite sites (dollskill and killstar) that will fit properly probably 15-25 pounds from now so now I absolutely have to get smaller. What's your motivation for today?

[Help] How much lax do you guys use
/u/setniessesed [5'11" | CW: 145.6 GW: 137? | 19.66 | -14lbs | 20/F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 11:27:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1w0n/how_much_lax_do_you_guys_use/
Hey people,

I haven't formally introduced myself but I've been frequenting here and it's a great sub. I binge and restrict, been trying my best to research and help myself to stop but I just caved again after about a week of a mix of normal/restricting eating. I've recently lost some weight and I know I can keep doing it so I'm not too frantic about the calorie thing (I know lax doesn't really help in that regard) but I just want to get all this shit I just threw in my stomach out as soon as possible and minimize the days-long bloat that usually comes after binges.

How much lax do you guys use after a binge to speed up the process? I just took 1 dose, I've taken it before but one dose didn't really have much effect on me and I was wondering if I did something wrong. I've only taken it this time and that time, so I haven't built a resistance or anything.

Honestly I would probably throw up if I wasn't terrified of vomiting; I haven't thrown up since I was in 3rd grade

[Rant/Rave] thanks mom again
/u/Myuuji [169 | 51.6 | 18.07 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 11:24:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1vfg/thanks_mom_again/
I asked my mom if she had any belts (My pants are too big) and she found a belt she used to wear my age. While handing it to me she just had to make the comment on how she used to fit the smallest hole, while I can't. This is the same mom who is overweight now and tells me I've become too skinny. However it was okay to make fun of me when I was a bit heavier? Told her i weighed 55kg, and she just laughed at me and said, yeah, maybe a while ago. The same person who grabbed my lovehandles and just feel like she can comment about my body all the time because she is overweight? Like whatever she says is nullified because she adds: "oh yeah, well you wanna switch bodies?" No. I don't. But you don't have the right to make fun of mine because you've become fat.

[Rant/Rave] "Recovery" is messed up
Created: Thu Jul 28 10:57:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1qbb/recovery_is_messed_up/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 28, 2016
Created: Thu Jul 28 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1g0b/daily_food_diary_july_28_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Discussion] adrafinil?
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:48:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1dfe/adrafinil/
Has anyone tried this for appetite suppresion before?

My coworkers all take this, I work in a Wall Street type office. I asked them what it's like, etc, and they said it's basically adderall. In fact, alot of them take it and then drink energy drinks all day long.

I'm super curious to hear your thoughts.

[Help] Nooooo
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:36:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1b7g/nooooo/
I just found out my therapist isn't with the practice she was anymore. No explanation, she hasn't answered texts and I haven't seen her in a month. I'm freaking out. Remind me binging will not help this.

The office did offer to have me see someone else there or refer me or, but dammit I want to keep seeing my therapist. Or at least know what happened. I'm hoping she replies to my text by the end of the weekend. It's just so sudden it's weirding me or.

On mobile, can't flair.

[Discussion] I'm dumb and just realized I had Trader Joe's LOL What's your favorite products?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:34:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1av9/im_dumb_and_just_realized_i_had_trader_joes_lol/
I'm going this weekend cause I'll already be in Tulsa for a Jim Gaffigan Show! Woot!

So what are you guys' favorite low cal stuff from there? Perishable or not.

I personally prefer pescatarian products, but post whatever!

Try to include calorie counts if you can c:

[Meme/Humor] How I feel after a binge...
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:31:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v1a9t/how_i_feel_after_a_binge/

[Discussion] Do movies / tv shows trigger anyone else's ED?
/u/imnotofuckingkay [47 in | 68 lbs | 21.5 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:06:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v15sa/do_movies_tv_shows_trigger_anyone_elses_ed/
I've recently relapsed into my ED and I'm finding that I can't really watch any movies or tv shows because I get so fixated on how skinny and beautiful everyone is. I feel like I can't enjoy any entertainment anymore without focusing on weight.

If this does trigger you - how do you at least still enjoy what you're watching?

[Discussion] Tell Me I'm Fat (This American Life)
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 09:00:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v14va/tell_me_im_fat_this_american_life/
A few weeks ago I voiced the opinion to some friends that I thought the fat acceptance movement was a load of horse crap. I don’t think fat people should hate themselves, or be treated like second class citizens. Everyone deserves respect and they shouldn’t be dehumanized. However I also don’t think they should be celebrated for being morbidly obese. People don’t generally see someone hugely underweight, you know a slight cold will kill them in hospital underweight, and give them a high five and tell them ‘healthy at every size’. Telling someone morbidly obese that they should be happy with their weight would be just as bad as congratulating someone very underweight.

I was really kind of surprised that my friends looked so shocked. It was as if I had said something really offensive. Someone suggested I listen to the This American Life podcast ‘Tell me I’m Fat’ because it shows both sides of the story and would put it all in perspective for me.

So I listened to it, because I love This American Life and wanted to hear what they had to say. I was really surprised by how unmoved I was. They have a fat woman talking about accepting her body for how it is. Okay if she is happy good for her. But happy and healthy are different things, and to be honest she annoyed me. Then you have a formerly obese woman who used surgery, weight loss pills and diet to lose a lot of weight very quickly and refers to how differently she is treated now she is thin. She says people give her stuff for free in the deli when she runs out of money (erm where do I sign up??) and everyone is much nicer to her. Well maybe you smile more now? Maybe you are happier?
But everyone I have talked to about this podcast said they came away from it feeling so bad for fat people, and so much more understanding of the pressure and difficulty they face. I feel like I didn’t even listen to the same thing. Anyone else here listened to it? Am I missing something? Am I just a bitch?

Here’s the link:


Edit: formatting

[Discussion] Would you rather. ED edition.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Jul 28 08:47:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v12he/would_you_rather_ed_edition/
A comment in another fun question got me thinking .

Would you rather...

Win the lottery let's say 3 million,


Stay at your CW forever never losing nor gaining despite what you eat.

[Help] OMG! Surprise vacation from my boyfriend! So excited! But also nervous because I'm not skinny enough ;A;
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 28 08:04:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0uw4/omg_surprise_vacation_from_my_boyfriend_so/
Sooo, I live in Oklahoma, and my boyfriend just booked us flights to Cali last night for a week vacation! Omg! We'll be going to Disneyland and possibly Universal Studios! We'll be planning the rest of the trip tonight. He planned for us to be staying with his married friends, so we'll save on hotel cost.

But then it hit me... #1 I'm not cute enough yet to go to Disneyland and take pictures with him. I'm still big and gross.

And then #2 .. we're flying.. can I bring safe food? will his friends think I'm weird for having it?

So now I'm stressed.

Tell me guys.. How much weight can I lose by the 9th?

And can I smuggle lettuce, cherry tomatoes, dressing, almond milk, and cottage cheese on a plane?!?

[Help] Not sure if this is allowed here but how many calories do you think are in this salad?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 07:51:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0slh/not_sure_if_this_is_allowed_here_but_how_many/

[Help] My therapist and I havent met for over a month. Now I don't know what to say
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 07:37:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0qbr/my_therapist_and_i_havent_met_for_over_a_month/
When she left for 2 weeks, I was supposedly beginning my 1400 a day plan. That worked for awhile. Then i started my month long intensive course and the stress + schedule brought me into a binge/restrict cycle. And now that it's all done, ive been heavily restricting (successfully) for the past 5 days. But now i have to see my therapist. And i dont want to admit that ive gone into restricting again. Id prefer to lie. But then idk what to talk about for an hour. We could talk about my now almost 4 years ago rape, but im really not all that shaken up about it recently and i think that would show. I dunno, have any of you successfully deceived therapists?

[Tip] Daily Intake calculator
/u/rachelcoiling [5'5" | 148 | 24.74 | -61 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 07:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0obn/daily_intake_calculator/
So, I spend like 50% of my life working on spreadsheets and statistics, and I figured I'd share the Excel chart I created to help calculate my daily caloric intake.

Go to "File --> Download As" to download your own copy, and enter your own personal stats in the **blue** fields in Column B. *Don't edit any of the other fields*, or the formulas won't work. Tab A is Imperial; Tab B is Metric. It'll ask you for your:

* B1. Current Weight
* B4. Height
* B5. Age in Years
* B9. Goal Weight
* B11. Goal Date

Cell E9 will automatically calculate how many calories you'd have to consume (based on your AMR and goals) per day to reach that goal in the amount of time you've allotted. I have a lot of fun playing with this, just because I like to adjust the numbers and see different possible outcomes. Hopefully you find it entertaining too!


[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support July 28, 2016
Created: Thu Jul 28 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0cju/weekly_emotional_support_july_28_2016/

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Rant/Rave] [rant] Low point, yay
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | FAT AF | Binging is shite | 21 / F]
Created: Thu Jul 28 04:20:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4v0098/rant_low_point_yay/
so first of all excuse any mistakes, i am on mobile and very shite at typing on a phone

so, in may i was as my low weight of 47 kg, bmi of 18ish

i looked good waa confident and determined tp reaxh 45 (aka ugw) by august

then i had a breakdown, and more binges than i can count, and gained 6kg (12 fuxking pounds)

i feel fat and ugly and shite and hate everything (my gran sayong i'm getting thinner and thinner only making me angry)

o try to faat and restrict but i am so fucking weak

my family thinks my ed is 'over' as i look normal and as they see me eat, and somehow that makes me angry too

also i started smoking again... because nikotine is appetite supressing

wow i am so shite

i basically changed so mich, just because of the ed

i dont drink becaise caloroes, i drink coffee blaxk because caloroes, i walk eveywhere insyead of taking tje bus becaise calories....

and i am fat and horrible even if i do this because i am weak and eat and food is horrible

anyway, i hope i can get a grip again, and here i have to thank this community again because you are all so amazing

being skinny is everything i have, as i am a boring, uninteresting and stupid person

sorry for the rant and cheers for listening xP

[Rant/Rave] I can't do this anymore.
Created: Thu Jul 28 01:49:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzk7v/i_cant_do_this_anymore/

[Rant/Rave] What it's like to date a monster:
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Thu Jul 28 01:19:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzgvf/what_its_like_to_date_a_monster/
Well, a storm blew open my balcony door. I was on my way home from a long day at work when I see a text from my neighbor: "Isn't this your cat?" with a picture of my wet, scared, crying baby. The text had been sent two hours ago.

I speed home, racking my brain to figure out how my cat got out of my secured apartment on the third floor, how he got out of his "kitty suite", the wing of the house we shut him in when we go to work, and if he made it in the busy street I live on. Long story short, I yelled at my neighbor's for not letting him in, searched for him in stocking feet, screaming for two hours, threatened to kill my neighbors and their families, shoved my boyfriend, binged and purged 1,000 calories in fifteen minutes, called my boyfriend every cruel name in the book. I bathed my cat, whose back paws are sore, and who needs to go to the doctor. And now I'm just trying to figure out how I lost so much control.

Thanks for listening.

[Other] "Control - Halsey", a fantastic ed song.
Created: Thu Jul 28 00:59:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzei9/control_halsey_a_fantastic_ed_song/

[Discussion] Is there a difference between fasting and restricting?
Created: Thu Jul 28 00:48:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzd9l/is_there_a_difference_between_fasting_and/
I suppose 0 calories versus say, 100-500 calories.

Is there any difference though in what your body does? Ive been reading up and I think that even low calorie (500 say) is actually worse for your body and weight loss goals than absolute fasting.

Also, is there a difference mentally? It is exponentially easier to fast than it is to stick to 500 calories personally.

[Other] anti-binge motivation
Created: Thu Jul 28 00:35:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uzbqk/antibinge_motivation/

[Other] Conversation with My Roommate
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Thu Jul 28 00:22:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uza7r/conversation_with_my_roommate/
I was playing a video game and my roommate just came in and said,"...nevermind you're not going to eat it anyways," and walked out. He's making orange chicken.

On the one hand, he doesn't try to make me eat his food anymore. On the other, damn I'm hella obvious. Oops. :/

[Thinspo] Getting ready to work out. Need to make more progress.
Created: Wed Jul 27 22:19:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uyux1/getting_ready_to_work_out_need_to_make_more/

[Other] Came back from exercising and felt kinda good about this one
/u/yciED [6'2" | 165 | 20.08 | 17M]
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:34:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uyow3/came_back_from_exercising_and_felt_kinda_good/

[Rant/Rave] We love you Glitter_Cunt !!!!
/u/strongerthanyouknow [5'5" |145 |24.4 | -12 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:25:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uynnx/we_love_you_glitter_cunt/

[Thinspo] She's perfect
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:17:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uymlc/shes_perfect/

[Goal] My "thin" clothes are now my "fat" clothes!!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:11:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uylpw/my_thin_clothes_are_now_my_fat_clothes/
So all the dresses that I used to wear when I felt particularly thin (usually on fasting days) are now the dresses that I wear when I feel really bloated and fat! I realized that when I went to wear one and it just did not shape to me and *made* me look fat. Like holy shit! The stuff I used to feel thin in no longer fits!

[Rant/Rave] What am i even doing? [a drunken existential rant about relapse and its bullshit]
/u/problematticc [5'4 | no | 666 |-666 | satan]
Created: Wed Jul 27 21:01:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uykbn/what_am_i_even_doing_a_drunken_existential_rant/
for the past couple of weeks (months?) i have been frequenting fringe dieting forums and this subreddit more often than i have in the past couple of YEARs. I thought i was over this "phase" and that i'd be okay with my weight and body image when i got to my goal weight but i was wrong and i don't know how to stop, and i don't even WANT to

today i ate less than 800 calories and i'm proud of myself for that - even though i know i can do better

i haven't been this bad off since myspace was still that thing

i know this is a problem but i don't want to think about it or work on it until you can see it killing me physically and that makes me so happy

oh god what the fuck

[Thinspo] Tiny thigh
Created: Wed Jul 27 20:59:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uyk58/tiny_thigh/

[Rant/Rave] Day 8: Dear food diary...why the fuck won't the scale move
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 20:15:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uydru/day_8_dear_food_diarywhy_the_fuck_wont_the_scale/
I am still the exact same weight, to the tenth of a pound, that I was three days ago. I've been eating within my limits and exercising like I should, and trying to drink plenty of water. Scale still won't budge. RAGE. Maybe now that shark week is finally over I might be able to finally shed this weight. This morning the scale had magazines on it? Would that affect the reading somehow?

Do I have an ulcer?
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:53:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uyaht/do_i_have_an_ulcer/

[Discussion] You wake up one morning to discover that for 24 hours calories don't count. No matter how much you consume you will not gain a SINGLE pound. Whats your day gonna look like?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy9sf/you_wake_up_one_morning_to_discover_that_for_24/
For me, First things first, I'm not going to work or too school. Im going to head straight for my favorite diner, Im gonna get a large chicken noodle soup with a cheese burger club with extra cheese, and extra pickles with fries. Then for Lunch I'm gonna go to my favorite sandwich place and get a 12inch italian double meat sub with a family sized bag of cool ranch doritos. Then for dinner I'm gonna have an extra large greek salad with extra feta cheese and grilled chicken with toasted bread. And for dessert a big ass cheese cake. <3

[Tip] Don't forget to be happy.
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:32:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy78k/dont_forget_to_be_happy/
Having an ED takes away all the good things in your life. When friends ask you to go somewhere you turn them down because you cant risk there being food, so people stop inviting you places.

Your family can't know that you have an ED so you hide and hope that they don't catch you b/p or wonder why you're not eating.

You can't tell anyone at school or at work because they won't understand or they will shun you.

These thoughts came to me recently when I finally after 3 months hit my GW and my first thought was NOT "Wow look how far I've come!!!" my thought was actually "Okay so my next goal weight should be another 5 pounds" I didn't take the time to congratulate myself.

My point is, find happiness in one thing. Even if its not binging for one day, or denying yourself that cookie you really wanted, or recovering or what ever it is. Don't forget to celebrate who you are.

[Help] Ephedrine?
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy67m/ephedrine/
for those of you who take ephedrine, i have a few questions before i start taking it myself.
first of all, has it actually helped you to lose weight? have you noticed a significant difference?
and also, are there any negative side effects that you've noticed?
thank you in advance for any answers!

[Rant/Rave] Sometimes you get lucky
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:20:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy5dp/sometimes_you_get_lucky/

[Discussion] This is messing up my head. (more in comments)
/u/strongerthanyouknow [5'5" |145 |24.4 | -12 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:11:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy401/this_is_messing_up_my_head_more_in_comments/

[Rant/Rave] I'm so angry :(
/u/fxuk [5'3 | CW: 78 lbs | GW: 75 lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:09:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy3ny/im_so_angry/
So today I knew I was going out to dinner with friends. I looked up the menu online and saw that they have soups, like minestrone, chicken noodle. etc. I was DEAD SET on getting a cup/bowl of minestrone soup. They didn't have calorie counts but I was planning on just logging on the highest number from a restaurant on MFP, so like 230. I was excited because I only had 100 other calories today, from Siggi's Yogurt. It was going to be a low cal day. Yay!! But No.

I get to the restaurant and I don't eat any soup on the menu except "Soup of the day". So when the waiter comes I ask what that soup is and she says "Oh, since it's so hot out we aren't serving soup in the summer..." So I was like "Oh ok!" Shoot. I look at the menu and try to find anything low cal...Its all pizza and pasta. I find a hummus plate with vegetables and order that.

So the food comes and the hummus plate is a lot smaller than I would think it would be. Mostly celery, carrots, and a super small portion of hummus, (almost too small tbh) like compared to a normal restaurant hummus plate. So I was happy I could eat it without being too scared. Unfortunetly, my friends both ordered a pasta dish and a pizza for us to "share" (I told them before I wasn't in the mood for pizza) but as I ate my hummus plate they kept bringing up how I wasn't eating the pizza. It was so ANNOYING. And then one of them poked my rip and told me to eat cake. I was getting pissed so I went to the bathroom. And when I came back they put two slices on my plate and FORCED me to eat it. I was getting really stressed out and they were laughing and making a big deal out of How pissed Inwas getting so I just downed the two slices. UGH I weighed myself when I got home and gained weight :( Even after I peed. I'm SO ANGRYYY

They almost forced me to eat dessert but after hearing that the restaurant didn't have many choices they decided against it. Thank god

[Discussion] Is "orthorexia" really a thing?
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:08:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy3jd/is_orthorexia_really_a_thing/

[Goal] starting a 30 day fast to finally get back in control
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 139.6lb | 20.59/20.89 | -13.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:02:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy2mu/starting_a_30_day_fast_to_finally_get_back_in/

[Help] Running probs (a bit TMI)
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy2kw/running_probs_a_bit_tmi/

[Rant/Rave] Had someone try to use fat logic on me (rant/rave)
Created: Wed Jul 27 19:00:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uy2bi/had_someone_try_to_use_fat_logic_on_me_rantrave/
Sorry can't flair on mobile.but I've been telling 2 of my good friends how much I hate my body and want to lose weight again. My male friends logic was that he finds me sexy so just be happy. Her logic (she's even heavier than I am) is that jiggly is popular and guys like a bigger girl. My guy friend thinks I should just be super confident and happy with my fat blob body when I could be stunning skinny. Like I naturally have an hourglass shape, even 45 lbs overweight. I would be so absolutely gorgeous skinny but they think I should stay fat. Like ugh, just let me be thin!!

[Intro] New here. Is this actually bad...? I don't know what to do.
/u/TinyTinyCleverCDR [156 cm | 52.5 kg | 22.45 | -6 kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 18:40:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxzba/new_here_is_this_actually_bad_i_dont_know_what_to/
I know it's kind of a loaded question, considering where this is, but this community seems a lot more self-aware than other places I've looked. (MFP, especially...)

First off: hi! I found this sub in the askreddit thread and have been lurking for a while. At first I was appalled because I didn't understand it, but the longer I lurked, the better this place seemed.

My doctor told me that she thought I had an ED after I mentioned I'd started a diet. I completely disregarded her opinion. It's bad, but all I could think was, "This woman is morbidly obese. She couldn't possibly know what a normal diet is." MFP forums said the same thing as her (and even banned me...), but I blew them off too because they were trotting out tired myths like "starvation mode," "your metabolism is a furnace," etc. etc.

Compared to you guys, I really don't feel like I restrict at all. But... I do exercise a lot. I wear a pedometer everywhere. I generally clock in 12-13,000 steps on my morning run and another 8,000 at work, then I fill in extra in the evening after it's cooled down. This amounts to a daily goal of at least 30,000 steps while eating 1200 calories. On good days I get 40,000-50,000 steps. I don't know exactly how much I burn (everyone says calorie calculators are inaccurate), but I've been losing about 1kg per week.

Can this actually hurt me in the long term? People keep telling me that I'm losing too much weight, that I don't eat enough, but I don't think I can trust them because they're all overweight. I just want to weigh 45kgs. That's not a bad weight. And 1200 calories is the minimum women are supposed to eat, so it can't be too bad if I'm getting at least that, right?

I keep telling myself this, but finding this sub made me realize: even if I knew it was unhealthy, even if literally everyone told me to stop, I don't think I would. And now I'm starting to wonder if my doctor was right.

[Rant/Rave] Feeling shitty
/u/yummmies [5'4" | 130 | -35 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 18:38:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxyys/feeling_shitty/
I wanted to water/no-cal drink fast from dinner Tuesday to lunch Thursday, but I just felt so shitty and shaky that I broke my fast with some cucumber and salt. Like I know that's less than 30 kcals, but man do I feel shitty about this. I can't even fast for a day. Last time I fasted, not only did I not manage to fully water fast again, but my blood sugar bottomed out over night and I binged on a breakfast that I didn't want to eat. I have a granola bar ready this time, but what's the point of fasting if I'm gonna go over my calorie limit the next day. Why is this so hard. Sorry guys, I'm just feeling down.

[Rant/Rave] Mindless pre-period eating
Created: Wed Jul 27 17:44:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxq3w/mindless_preperiod_eating/
Hi y'all. To preface, I have an abnormal period (every 40-45 days or so, no BC). I am at my lowest weight at 5'5, 125-128 lb give or take.

My pre-menstrual hunger the past two months has been out of this world!! I aim for 1400 or so cals a day (much of it alcohol, don't want to disclose how much), work a physically intensive job and live on a farm (work after work.) I am ok with eating about four hundred cals more than my standard 1400 because I know I burn a lot of energy. I have a higher intake: it's a reasonable existence. Sometimes I eat way less.

But the pre period binges...man!! I try to just satisfy them by eating a bit more (more veg, more fruit) or exercising/working more, but dang!

How do you all feel about your PMS hunger and cravings, if you feel them at all?

[Discussion] I'm not normally a morning person but...
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 17:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxm4c/im_not_normally_a_morning_person_but/
When I'm not restricting I the mornings. I hate alarms and waking up and basically starting my day.

But when I know I've restricted properly and there should be a loss on the scale I practically jump up and run to the bathroom each morning to check the second my alarm goes off. I then have a little victory dance and I'm all set to start my day (after checking ProED and putting my news stats into all my weight counter apps)

Anyone else love getting up to weigh themselves?

[discussion] on mobile can't flair sorry

[Discussion] Maybe a Target Food Diary for next day
Created: Wed Jul 27 16:49:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uxh20/maybe_a_target_food_diary_for_next_day/
In addition to the Daily food diary may be helpful.

My target tomorrow is max 500 cals so posting it here will help me (i hope) committ to it

[Discussion] Could this just be restriction, without an eating disorder?
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:54:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux7cr/could_this_just_be_restriction_without_an_eating/
I'm coming off 3-4 years of solid recovery and everything just feels so different I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't even a lapse/relapse. When my ED first started, it was actually more like exercise bulimia. I had such a hard time restricting because anything related to food was so emotion based. After a few years I moved into the full on restriction and that's what got me into enough trouble with my health that I was pushed into recovery and eventually decided I'd stick with it.

But this time around, it's so easy. Right now I'm at around 800-1000 calories a day while burning about 2300-2500 off. I also feel like I'm eating more intuitively? Like the other day I really wanted a grilled cheese, so I bought some light cheese/bread and worked that into my intake. Today I just want some chocolate covered almonds, so I made sure I had enough left over to fit those in. I haven't binged since I started restricting again. I had one planned b/p session but the whole time I knew I didn't even want to do it. This is so different from the narrative the last time around.

There's no anxiety or turmoil like there was last time. I feel like maybe I'm just dieting (albeit a bit more extremely than most would). After all, a lot of my ED behaviours (weighing/measuring religiously, counting calories and writing all my intake in a journal, burning a certain number of calories per workout, etc. etc.) are all things that the diet world celebrates.

But another part of me thinks this might just be the honeymoon phase, and all the shit that comes with the ED behaviours will show up soon enough. I set my goal to lose 0.2 pounds per day but I'm definitely eating at a bigger deficit than that and feel like shit if 0.2 is all I lose.

Meh, I don't know, this is just uncharted territory. Do you think you can restrict/engage in behaviours without the actual eating disorder?

[Discussion] Qs on C&S and thinspo
/u/thinkerbell219 [5'2"| 145 | 26.5 |-12 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:44:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux5sn/qs_on_cs_and_thinspo/
Hope you all are well. Just wondering if this happens to anyone else.... I don't C&S that often but I noticed when I do, about five minutes after I'm done my asthma acts up and I'm wheezing a bit and sometimes I feel like my throat is tight. I rinse my mouth really well and usually drink about 24 Oz of water after.

Also, does anyone have any good thinspo for short girls? I am only 5'2" and I feel like all the thinspo I see the girls are much taller and it makes it kind of seem less realistic for some reason.

Thank you 🐱

[Other] I think I better go for a walk or eat something!
/u/oksneaky [63in | CW: 125.8| -13.2 | GW:UNDER 120 BY 9/15 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:38:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux4ps/i_think_i_better_go_for_a_walk_or_eat_something/

[Discussion] When you go to the grocery store just for Halo Top and PB2...
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:30:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux3al/when_you_go_to_the_grocery_store_just_for_halo/

[Discussion] Little survey I made for fun!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 94 | 15.2 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 15:27:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ux2qo/little_survey_i_made_for_fun/
I was talking about astrological signs with someone and I got curious what everyone's here was! Personally I don't put much stock in signs and predictions or whatever, but I do think it'd be interesting to see if there's a majority of certain ones here or not.. Anyway! [Here] (https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/W96LGR2) is the link! I'll post results soon! And feel free to comment to chat about your sign and whether you believe in astrology at all and why! :)

[Rant/Rave] I had an argument with my boyfriend and so just now comfort ate a whole extra large cucumber. It wasn't even sliced.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 27 14:32:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwsjw/i_had_an_argument_with_my_boyfriend_and_so_just/
So there's that.

May as well have been Ben and Jerry's, how guilty I still feel over eating it.

Why do I have to have such a weird brain.

[Discussion] Do you work out when you restrict?
Created: Wed Jul 27 14:28:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwrw6/do_you_work_out_when_you_restrict/

[Thinspo] Thinspo songs?
Created: Wed Jul 27 14:22:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwqs9/thinspo_songs/
I thought it would be cool to share any thinspo songs that you guys listen to motivate yourselves or stave off binges!

My main songs would be:

"Scars to Your Beautiful" - Alessia Cara
**She has dreams to be an envy, so she's starving
You know, "covergirls eat nothing"
She says "beauty is pain and there's beauty in everything"
"What's a little bit of hunger?"
"I could go a little while longer", she fades away**

Skinny Love - Birdy (cover)
**Come on skinny love just last the year,
Pour a little salt we were never here,
My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my...
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer.
Tell my love to wreck it all,
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall...**

Mae - Gaslight Anthem
**Stay the same, don’t ever change
Cause I’d miss your ways
With your Bette Davis eyes
And your mama's party dress**

[Other] Does anyone feel like binging?
Created: Wed Jul 27 14:13:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwp0b/does_anyone_feel_like_binging/

[Discussion] Any other poly folks out there? I keep comparing myself to my bf's new girl and it's getting to me.
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 13:11:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwcjk/any_other_poly_folks_out_there_i_keep_comparing/
So my bf and I are polyamorous which means we see other people too. When we started dating I was right around the same size as I am now and I thought he liked that. I learned along the way that he really likes thick girls (aka thicker than me) and am reminded of that every so often like this past weekend when he looked my body and said I looked boney the way I was laying on top of him and had a look of disgust on his face. He tried to back track and tell me a few times after that that I look great/amazing but all I remember is the look on his face and how ugly I felt in that moment. A couple of months ago he was talking to a girl who he said was on the higher weight side of what he liked and then she sent him a picture where she looked a little heavier and he completely lost interest. Now he's started to see someone else, they've slept together, and he seems really into her. I saw a full body picture of her for the first time yesterday and I can't believe it, she's a mini-moon and she's bigger than the first girl that he stopped talking to. My first bf was very rural (country) and I knew he preferred bigger girls, I was 200lbs when we were dating so that was fine, so when I lost all the weight and asked what he think I never took his "you look so good" seriously figuring he was telling me what I wanted to hear. Now seeing what this girl looks like all I can think is that this is what my bf really wants a girl to look like and he thinks my body is hideous. But I also can't really talk to him about this because I'm really turned off by this girl he's chosen but how do you say that to someone? "Your new girl is really fat, is that really what you like?" Just look at [this](http://imgur.com/a/TBQ19) photo with me on the left (bottom picture I'm in the middle) and her on the right. I honestly don't understand it and it's starting to get to me making me want to restrict even more because as I look at her body it's scary enough to remind me I don't want to be anywhere near that size again, but also making me want to binge to spite him and maybe give him what he wants? I want to be someone that he can't take his eyes/hands off of and I'm just not.

[Discussion] New title added to PDF library on Google Drive: 'Elena Vanishing'
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 13:00:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uwaii/new_title_added_to_pdf_library_on_google_drive/
Click [here](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNb2J4VzZYZ2g3Y2s) to read Elena Vanishing: A Memoir!

Here is some stuff I've posted on the sub before *(click* [*here*](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/5080s5/i_know_weve_done_this_thread_before_but/d72klwe) *for book covers and summaries)*:

- **[Google Drive](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNZFRrSmUwdGhXUWc) - Novels**
* [Boys Get Anorexia Too](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNY3V5WGdPWjJoeFE) (Jenny Langley)
* [Brave Girl Eating](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNRkVPN2FhNldxMkE) (Harriet Brown)
* [Clean](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNMVg3NkhmYUotbGs) (Reed, Amy)
* [Eat - STOP - Eat](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNd3kxZXNsSXV4b3M) (Brad Pilon)
* [Fasting Girls](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNZGRhQWlxZVBKSEk) (Joan Jacobs Brumberg)
* [Fighting With Me](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNdGlUX0VUT1hHOG8) (Anonymous)
* [Hunger Point](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNSVdmTVZ4b1dxTXc) (Jillian Medoff)
* [Kid Rex](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNcmV2ZmF2ZkJudU0) (Laura Moisin)
* [Letting Ana Go](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNaE1UMXBlcFlwLWc) (Anonymous)
* [My Perfect Little Secret](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNaTA2MWV0U3RaQ2s) (Rebecca Coppage)
* [Purge - Rehab Diaries](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNQkE1Z1JnLVpiT1E) (Nicole Johns)
* [Second Star to the Right](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNZS1JZllaSXJ6RGs) (Deborah Hautzig)
* [Skinny](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNU21Uak91aW01b2s) (Ibi Kaslik)
* [Skinny](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNeENpendTVDZQM00) (Laura L. Smith)
* [Skinny Bitch](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNSGMtYXlqZW9JWk0) (Rory Freedman & Kim Barnouin)
* [Skinny Boy](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNeUwwWXR4R19HWEE) (Gary Grahl)
* [Thin](https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By-hpW96C5yNaUx2bHl5dkhDam8/view) (Grace Bowman)
* [Thinspo](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNd1BKRkt4b29Pb2s) (Amy Ellis)
* [Unbearable Lightness - A Story of Loss and Gain](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNb0hVZ2hyalk5MEE) (Portia de Rossi)
* [Wasted](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNNWFFcTZtSHJWU2c) (Marya Hornbacher)
* [Wintergirls](https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By-hpW96C5yNclhRcy1EQkFIZEE) (Laurie Halse Anderson)
- **Imgur - Manga & Graphic Novels**
- [Blood Slurping Darkness](http://imgur.com/a/Hw0tj) (Junji Ito) [Manga] [Horror, Supernatural]
- [Fasting](http://imgur.com/a/F400R) (Kazuo Umezuhisashi) [Manga] [Illustrated Violence]
- [Helter Skelter](http://imgur.com/a/YkPRZ) (Kyoko Okazaki): Through extensive plastic surgery and vigorous maintenance, Ririko has become wildly successful as the absolute manifestation of beauty. Soon, however, her body and body begins to crumble as she plummets towards a frightening and inevitable end. [Manga] [Illustrated Nudity+Sex]
- [I Do Not Have An Eating Disorder](http://imgur.com/a/VPTfB) by Khale McHurst [Autobiographical Webcomic] [Self Harm, Suicidal Ideations] [Illustrated Nudity]
- [In The Clothes Named Fat](http://imgur.com/a/hxJNy) (Moyoko Anno) [Manga] [Illustrated Nudity+Sex]
- [Miracle Dieter Miyuki Vol 1](http://imgur.com/a/U2iaf) (Takaguchi Satosumi): Chubby Yukimi finds a magical dumbbell that transforms her into Miracle Dieter, who, alongside Shape-up Cat Amino and Calorie-check Mouse Kuen, must battle an evil chef who tempts young girls with calorie-rich treats and dubious weight loss products [Manga] [Silly]
- [Screaming Lessons 029: The Requirements of a Belle](http://imgur.com/a/cNRG1) (Ishikawa Emi) [Manga] [Horror]


From /u/HellAbove:
> For kindle people: http://ebook.online-convert.com/convert-to-mobi :*

[Discussion] Conversation with a Co-Worker
/u/cwinch [6'1''|196 | 25.07 | 71lbs | M]
Created: Wed Jul 27 12:54:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uw9bz/conversation_with_a_coworker/
"What did you have for breakfast today?"-CW

"Adderall, coffee and lemon juice."-Me

blank stare...-CW

Just ED things.

[Rant/Rave] Will it ever be enough?
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:118 | BMI:20.66 | GW:108 | F -10lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 27 12:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uw8b1/will_it_ever_be_enough/
First off, I'm sorry because this is such a stupid rant, but I can't stop thinking about it.

I've been seeing this guy and we slept together for the first time last weekend and it was great. So he keeps saying things like, "you're so skinny, it's super hot." And I just.....I don't know. On the one hand it's great to hear that, but god is it making me question my self worth. Like if we had met when I was ten pounds heavier would he have not been into me? The funny thing is it's only making me push myself harder to restrict, because even though he thinks I'm thin enough all I can see are those parts that aren't where I want them to be. I don't know how much I've lost, I'm afraid to look at the scale just in case it isn't what I thought it'd be. All I know is that barely any of my clothes fit anymore and this guy keeps telling me how skinny I am, but guess what...it still isn't enough.

Again, sorry about this, I just needed to get it out of my head.

[Rant/Rave] I'm so excited and you guys are the first people I want to tell :D
Created: Wed Jul 27 12:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uw7nd/im_so_excited_and_you_guys_are_the_first_people_i/

[Intro] Longtime Lurker- Intro
/u/ForeverEmptyInside [5'9"| CW:133 lbs | BMI 19.6 | LW:104lbs | M]
Created: Wed Jul 27 12:16:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uw20a/longtime_lurker_intro/
Hello everyone,

I've been lurking this subreddit for a long time. Now, Im hoping to join this wonderful community!<3 Here is a little bit of backstory ,while still trying to maintain my anonymity :

- Shitty Go at Life (rather not go into details)

- Mental Health Worsened: Depression + Anorexia (Hence the username)

- Was recently hospitalized in inpatient for two weeks, at a LW of 104lbs (forced to go by therapist and parents - hated every second)

- Currently in "recovery" (lol)

I only have a couple sessions left before I am moving far away. When I move, I plan to break all ties to therapy and embrace the soothing voice of Ana once again. Until then, I can't restrict too much, but I am going to try my best...

I'm looking forward to meeting wonderful people here in this community <3.

[Help] The "not knowing how many cals you eat leads to a binge" thing. Plus another question..
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 11:42:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvved/the_not_knowing_how_many_cals_you_eat_leads_to_a/
I've read a lot here that when some people eat something and cant count the calories accurately it leads to a binge for them. I was curious about this because when I'm unsure of the calories, I usually over guesstimate and that ends up (more than likely) making my total for the day a lot lower than what I might have guessed. I guess this is more of a tip, but I just never understood the mind set on it if anyone cares to elaborate.

Second, I'm 8 lbs away from my goal. Last time I hit my GW I did the predictable thing and over celebrated by ballooning back to my CW, hah! This time when I hit my GW does anyone have tips on how to maintain? Like celebrate after I've maintained the weight for a week or something?

[Thinspo] New phone background this week!
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 11:31:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvtd0/new_phone_background_this_week/

[Goal] 47/100 of fast complete;dreaming about food *trigger food warning*
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 11:15:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvqcm/47100_of_fast_completedreaming_about_food_trigger/
I am almost 48 into my 100 fast and I'm starting to feel it affect me. I'm extremely hungry and nauseous and I feel very weak. I decided to extend my fast from 72 hours to 100. I should say I've never completed a fast, so I am looking forward to doing this. I also decided to hold up on starting my diet pills as I have no idea their side effects. Last night I dreamt of so many donuts, warm and glazed and in my dream, to my horror, I ate so many donuts. I also dreamed of pulled pork and hushpuppies (southern comfort food) which I can only assume I'm craving. My roommate ended up moving out and she left food behind for us to have. That includes a box of brown sugar pop-tarts, which are my favorite. It's definitely a struggle to not binge immediately. Also tomorrow my best friend is coming home from Ireland after being there for a year, so I'm also afraid I'll binge there. Ugh this is difficult, but at the same time, food literally disgusts me as well. I just want to complete this. Some motivation is that my roommate remarked I looked thinner so there's that! Wish me luck xoxo

[Other] I just discovered this sub.
/u/newportshorty [5'9 | fat | 19F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 11:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvo51/i_just_discovered_this_sub/
HOW THE HELL. I don't know where I've been, but I'm so happy I've found you guys. I think I've tried searching other terms, but never this. I've already learned of one amazing thing and that is Halo Top ice cream. Good god how did I not know about this!? It's insane. I feel like such a doof! I think I'm going to like it here.

Hope you all have a great day!

[Other] Updating flair at the ED clinic. Irony.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:48:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvl7p/updating_flair_at_the_ed_clinic_irony/

[Goal] Super happy right now!
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:38:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvjkk/super_happy_right_now/
As of this morning I am finally back into the 150s (I was 173 July 4th). Still hate my weight but it's going down so I'm happy about that. I ended up trying on my entire vintage clothing collection (over 60 different pieces and my favourites don't fit yet 😔) and I was so excited to find out that a pair of 1930s tap shorts are fitting me now! Two weeks ago they didn't even go up my fat thighs! Can't wait to fit into my super tiny pieces again! My vintage clothing and going through this subreddit give me so much motivation and hope. I hope everyone else is on track with their goals as well and can find a small source of happiness in their day!

[Rant/Rave] I'm so upset (rant/rave)
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:30:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvi1x/im_so_upset_rantrave/
I'm fat. Just the way it is. Last week my best friend (and exbf) made things official with this girl he's been seeing. So happy for them, adore both of them. But I'm fat and alone and all of a sudden Ana came back with a vengeance. I've been really restricting, exercising as much as I can, but it's been a week so obviously no crazy revelations. But imso sad about being too fat to be loved. Like I moved to this town a year ago, it's way smaller than my last city. Where I lived before i had no problem meeting guys even though I was disgusting. But there are way fewer guys here and I can't get a date to save my life. They all want petite pretty perfect girls. Its just so depressing to feel alone then to have my ed come back and feel alone since I can't really talk to anyone about how much I hate myself right now. I figured you guys would understand. Thanks!

[Rant/Rave] So July has kinda been a bust... Jumping into a fast to try and get back on track!
/u/08070427 [5'5" | 127.5 | 21.3 | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:14:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvf8x/so_july_has_kinda_been_a_bust_jumping_into_a_fast/
So, this month has kind of been a giant disappointment. Lots of drinking. Lots of food. And not much exercise. Sigh.

Throughout the month though, my weight has been surprising me. In both good and bad ways. After a two day fast last week (my longest since HS I think), I was at 127. I was really shooting for 125, but oh well. After all the crap I put in my body this month, I really couldn't complain too much. But I promised myself after the weekend I'd be back on track 125%. I wanted my hipbones back.

And here I am! 600-700cal on Monday and only low cal liquids yesterday (maybe 120cal in total). And, today I got back on the exercise train! Still going strong with the fast! I'm super tired and feel kinda high, but I know it will pass.

To wrap up up this rant/rave, I decided to kinda pull back on the amount of ab exercises I've been doing. This terrifies the shit out of me because working my abs is the one thing that can always make me feel better. And I'm terrified of my midsection getting squishier. But, I read somewhere that working your abs too much can actually keep your waist from getting thinner and your bones showing. Anyone have any experience in this department?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 27, 2016
Created: Wed Jul 27 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvczl/daily_food_diary_july_27_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Tip] New diet is going well
/u/likeits2013 [5'8"| 130 lbs | 19.8 BMI | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 09:53:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uvba2/new_diet_is_going_well/

[Rant/Rave] Angry thoughts I need to get out [long/rant/all over the place/hot mess]
Created: Wed Jul 27 09:28:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uv6o4/angry_thoughts_i_need_to_get_out_longrantall_over/

[Other] SO HARD
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 08:36:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uuwvw/so_hard/

[Thinspo] I look through old pictures when I'm hungry
Created: Wed Jul 27 07:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uup5m/i_look_through_old_pictures_when_im_hungry/

[Help] Getting some pretty bad anxiety about an upcoming vacation. Need some help.
/u/gazdaman1 [6'0" 18y/old | 153lb | 20.8 | -30lb | M]
Created: Wed Jul 27 06:58:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uuh1p/getting_some_pretty_bad_anxiety_about_an_upcoming/
I'm going to be leaving for university in a few weeks, and because I'm moving across the country, my aunt and uncle want me and my mother to come visit for a few days. I've visited family before, but unlike other members of my extended family, food is a large part of their lives (Portuguese culture places quite a bit of influence on food/mealtimes). Every meal is a big deal, and my aunt likes to cook her favorite Portuguese dishes. Now, if your unfamiliar with Portuguese cuisine, every single meal is filled with meat, oil, cheese, and just generally fatty foods in general. Last time we visited them, I consumed anywhere around 3000-4000kcal of food every day, not including snacks (like the cookies they always happen to leave on the counter).

My anxiety surrounding my ED has gotten worse since the last time we visited, and I can't seem to stop thinking about the massive amounts of food I will probably end up consuming. I'm so close to my GW, and with orientation for uni coming up in a couple of weeks, I don't want to screw up the progress I've already made. I can't refuse to eat and like any loving family member, my aunt likes to push me to eat as much as I can.

I guess I'm asking for tips on how to navigate this situation; I don't have anyone else to talk to about my dilemma except this community. Most of you have experience dealing with problems similar to mine. Any advice/help/words of encouragement? Anyway, thanks for reading.

[Rant/Rave] Just had the worst B/P session of my life
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 06:21:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uubhr/just_had_the_worst_bp_session_of_my_life/
Hey y'all - on mobile so will flair later.

so I literally just had the worst session so far. I woke up on the bathroom floor, naked, toilet still unflushed and I don't even remember falling asleep.

I've causally purged in the past, but starting from this year it's become more frequent. Once I really started losing from restriction I became terrified of gaining it back but at the same time literally have no self control.

Currently I'm living apart from my parents for the first summer and that's definitely allowed for more ED habits to present itself. When my roommate was still here (she left 3 weeks ago) I was restricting (800 cals) and binging and purging (mostly just purging) about 2~3 times a week. Now it's escalated to where I'm b/ping up to 6 times a day. I have the whole house to myself, nobody will judge me when I pig out on cookie dough or pasta and I don't need to hide throwing up. I never thought I'd specifically buy things to binge and purge on but when I found myself in the grocery store I would buy pastries, chips, etc. for that sole purpose.

I used to be able to at least understand what triggered binges and try to deal with it in a healthy manner, but no idea. I feel like I'm binging for bingings sake and then purging to undo it, which sucks cause I have NO IDEA how to stop it.

My face is swollen af and right now it feels like I have the worst hangover. I felt like shit yesterday too after purging and missed my daily workout which really upset me. I don't know how it snowballed this far and I keep telling myself every binge will be the last one. Honestly, I think I haven't been trying to stop too hard because I'm still losing at an acceptable rate. Does anyone have any advice or tips on how to at least reduce the number of b/ps or make myself feel better?

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday July 27, 2016
Created: Wed Jul 27 06:02:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uu90o/way_to_go_wednesday_july_27_2016/

This is the weekly achievement thread for July 27, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Intro] intro
/u/lotuslotad [5'6 | 147.2lbs | 24.08 | -20.8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 04:18:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4utwzt/intro/
hi all, just a tiny intro from a long time lurker.
I couldn't make an account before as I couldn't bear to put my weight out there on my flair but I feel like I've made enough progress now to be able to hold myself accountable.
Just wanted to say thank you to you all for the content you put out on this thread, you guys are all so amazing <3

[Rant/Rave] Update from the grande german tour
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 03:31:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uts6x/update_from_the_grande_german_tour/
It turns out I'm only 61.7kg (136lbs) so I didn't gain much at all I'm just ridiculously bloated, which sucks in its own way but better than actual weight gain you know??

Also I've ended up in North Germany so I'm far, far away from all that calorie-overloaded (but tasty) Bavarian food 💕👍

I just wanna say thank you all so much for everything- all the advice, the encouragement, even just posting stuff to keep my feed interesting!! Bless y'all I love you guys so so much!!💋💋💋

[Help] ..Okay, I still weigh 97lbs today, was 93 on Saturday. Water weight has never hung round this long for me. Could it still be?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 27 03:22:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4utra7/okay_i_still_weigh_97lbs_today_was_93_on_saturday/
93lbs Saturday morning. Ate fair food Saturday, but really didn't go that mad - overeating, but not a binge. Sunday morning, 97lbs - put it down to bloat/water from greasy fair food. Sunday ate a lot, went a bit mad and binged more than I wanted, but not THAT mad.. not 15k+ calories mad at least?! I wouldn't have said anywhere near..

Fasted Monday, 150kcal yesterday.. but still 97lbs today?! I look pudgy still but not round/bloated anymore..

I usually still have a LITTLE water weight hanging round today (Wednesday) after Sunday big eats but not.. not the whole thing?! After fasting/restricting Mon-Tues, a lot of it has gone. And I have had my weekly BM as usual..

I very much doubt I ate enough over the weekend to put on a legit 5lbs?! 1? Possibly.. 2? A stretch, but I'd accept that fuck up. But FIVE?!

Could this still be water weight?! I mean, oh god. Please tell me that's possible? I ate canned tomatoes yesterday.. could that make me retain water? Somehow? Salt?

I even left my workout early because it freaked me out so much :/ I tried to keep it together after weighing myself before my work out, but it ended up giving me a panic attack the more I thought about it.. didn't finish my routine. 2/3 sets (I'm doing a circuit), missed abs completely. I felt so shit I just had to leave. Which I feel guilty about but I'm more panicing about this +5lbs..

As you guys can probably tell from my previous posts, I'm pretty much a mess at the moment in general anyway... but I really, really can't have gained 5lbs over the weekend.. Shiiiit.

[Discussion] trying not to binge - so tell me what you're really proud of achieving this year, that you didn't think would happen!
/u/awfuljusttosee [5'5" | 62.2kg | 22.04 | -4.7kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 02:58:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4utoza/trying_not_to_binge_so_tell_me_what_youre_really/

[Rant/Rave] some things positive, some things not
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 27 02:19:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4utl3t/some_things_positive_some_things_not/
Hey guys! A few things have happened to me this week. One, I am now at the mercy of the constant onslaught of delicious middle eastern cuisine every time I leave the house (even in the house as my boyfriend's mother is Russian and is known as the cook in the family...) It seems like every night we are going out to restaurants and ordering way too much. I understand that he is excited to be home, but it's forced me to do some serious planning every morning so that I won't be exceeding my goal of 1,000- 1,200 every day. Also, his mom is always pushing food on me even when I say no and that I'm full, and I feel so rude telling her no every time she asks to make me something. However when we told my boyfriend's friend the story, he said "It is because you are too thin for her" that made me feel good, but I don't think she does it because I am thin (I'm not really...) I think it's a cultural thing. I've been checking this sub every morning to get some inspiration and motivation to keep my head in the game, and regardless of the temptations and minor slip ups, I've been able to keep at at most maintenance every day (no binges!) I'm a bit nervous because I haven't been able to actually weigh myself in a few weeks, but there is no biological way I could have gained weight since I've been meticulously tracking calories every day and it is always below maintenance. But dear god how I will react if I weigh myself and discover I was way off or something... I'm not going there. Have a lovely day for those of you on my side of the world, and a lovely night/ morning for those on the other side. This sub makes me feel calm and in control and I'm going to go brew a cup of coffee for breakfast. <3

[Help] Help me get over this hurdle?
Created: Tue Jul 26 23:26:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ut1xn/help_me_get_over_this_hurdle/

[Rant/Rave] This has certainly been said before, but bless Halo Top ice cream.
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 22:49:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usxmy/this_has_certainly_been_said_before_but_bless/
OMG IT IS SO DELICIOUS. It tastes like... ice cream. Like regular ice cream. It's so good. I wanted something sweet at about 11:30 tonight, so I called my local grocery store to see if they had it and they did, so I went and bought every flavor they had! I tried the birthday cake flavor first tonight and I LOVE it.

If you haven't tried it yet, you totally should. I ate like 1/4 of the pint and I don't even feel bad, because that's like 70 calories.

[Discussion] Weight loss during pregnancy?
Created: Tue Jul 26 22:49:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usxln/weight_loss_during_pregnancy/

[Discussion] Fun things I learned today
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 21:43:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usp45/fun_things_i_learned_today/
Restriction plunges me into a moody depression, so I've been trying to look on the bright side of the ED life lately. Here is my "Fun Things" list today:

1. It's fun to find hot celebrities that are bigger than me. For example, I am slightly taller and slightly lighter than Shay Mitchell. Shay Mitchell is one of my idols/crushes. This pleases me. It doesn't change my goals, but it makes me feel like I'm in range of them.

2. Most VS models are photoshopped to look *larger* than they are. This means, I think, that I can set my BMI goals to a bit higher than theirs and still look as good as the magazine. Encouraging!

3. Vanity sizing be hanged, it's fun being a size small.

4. Longline bralettes are a godsend for dealing with saggy boobies post-weightloss. They just smooth everything out and make it look pretty again.

5. When I go into binge mode with post legday muscle soreness, I will eat whatever is nearby. Which is how I learned number 6:

6. I can chew an entire pack of sugar free gum at the same time.

What fun things have you all learned lately?

[Help] How do you guys stay positive??
Created: Tue Jul 26 21:04:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usjgy/how_do_you_guys_stay_positive/
I can't stop beating myself up over every single thing I eat and every calorie I consume. Even if I fast all day I still don't feel like I'm good enough. My mental health is plummeting super fast and I'm so lost right now. I weighed myself and I'm back up to 100 and I feel so gross. I can't stop crying and I feel like the number is only going to continue going up even though I'm eating 800 calories max. I just need help on how to stay somewhat happy and positive because I'm falling apart.
Edit- sorry no flair because I'm on mobile :/

[Discussion] [Discussion] This gross habit of mine
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Tue Jul 26 20:45:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usgl1/discussion_this_gross_habit_of_mine/
I just realized I could chew food if I crave it enough and then spit it out once I'm done tasting it. I raided my fridge and I've just c&s about half of what was in there 😧 Is this common amongst you guys too?

[Other] Ugh
Created: Tue Jul 26 20:01:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4usa8q/ugh/
I feel like such a shit Lord right now. I'm drinking 10 Cal beef broth and watching my 600 pound life on YouTube to stop myself from having anything more.

[Rant/Rave] I love new motivation :))))
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 19:44:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4us7wp/i_love_new_motivation/
On mobile, will flair after work:)

Long story short, but before I went to college I was a sugar baby, at my HIGHEST weight -- I'm telling you like around the 200's. My old SD and I still talk and last night I snapchatted him my pierced nipples and my ribcage and he was begging for more lol.

He was super athletic, intelligent, and generous, and he was only 33. He ate very well and exercised a lot, and he was super tall at 6'7". Our relationship was amazing and it felt like we were dating. I remember the first time we met he took me to the beach and we got lunch at this cute lil cafe and I was eating my fruit with my fingers lol

I was always shy about my weight, but he really thought I was a very intelligent and kind person, and I was never in it for the money. I enjoyed him mentoring me before college and learning from him. Also he was hot as fuck and is a surgeon who literally makes $400k a year. I was literally blessed to have him at my weight.

Anyways we're planning to meet again this September to catch up for dinner! I might convince him to help me go clothes shopping, I know he loves lululemon (because he wears it too!) so I'm going to ask him if he can buy me a couple pairs of yoga tights lol. Regardless, I'm so excited because I really miss him.

But even better, now I have more motivation to drop more weight!

He could buy all my skinny clothes for me. Even if he doesn't, buying all the clothes for our luxury date is enough to satisfy me. And if plans don't work out, I'll still be skinny! Overall win-win-win situation :)

I think if I try hard enough I can get close to my goal weight by then :))))

And just a while I ago I was thinking about eating lol I love new motivation.

[Thinspo] What I would give to look like Alexis Ren... For reference she's 5'9" with a 22" waist.
Created: Tue Jul 26 19:34:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4us6h6/what_i_would_give_to_look_like_alexis_ren_for/

[Rant/Rave] Do you think it will ever be enough?
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 19:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4us37g/do_you_think_it_will_ever_be_enough/
Hello everyone!

Sorry for posting on here so often, I'm slightly intoxicated tonight and this place has basically been my lifeline lately.

Do you all ever think that it will never be enough for you? I look at my body, even at my lowest weight, and I see disproportion and fat. My breasts are too small and my waist is too large. If I eat anything I get bloated and look like I'm pregnant. Honestly, I kind of envy larger women sometimes. Most of my friends are a lot larger than me, but their body proportions are so perfect and they have such confidence that they are gorgeous no matter what weight they are. Then there is me, who is 100 pounds and looks like a 12 year old boy, and the only solution I come up with is lose even more weight. I want my body to be proportionate, I want to feel confident and sexy in my body. I've had a lot of sexual partners probably because they give me some validation, that at least someone thinks that I'm beautiful. I just don't think it will ever be enough. I want the self esteem to accept myself as is, but as long as I can remember I've obsessed about being small, even when I was in grade school. I don't believe in fat shaming or reverse thinspo, if people are comfortable with their body I say more power to them. Just for me its been well over 10 years (I'm 23) and I still can't accept myself.

I know this is a lot of body dysmorphia speaking, but you all are pretty much the only ones I can talk to about this. Sorry about the rant, I'm just feeling especially terrible and wanting it all to end right now.

Thanks for being here.

[Thinspo] My thinspo song<3 Keeps me going every time
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 84 lbs | 16.08 | -23 | f]
Created: Tue Jul 26 18:58:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4us0x6/my_thinspo_song3_keeps_me_going_every_time/

[Other] I just feel better when I don't
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 84 lbs | 16.08 | -23 | f]
Created: Tue Jul 26 18:46:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urz2a/i_just_feel_better_when_i_dont/
I'm happier, prettier, and mroe confident when I don't eat. All I've had all day is a few cups of black coffee with sweet n low and I feel GREAT. Alive, happy, productive (making hella progress with my novel) and free. I'm dancing, singing, writing, planning, and I feel energetic... bouncy even.

Eating makes me feel like shit.

Hunger is my drug.

Hell the the yeah.

[Other] Halo-Top and the resulting effects (TMI)
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | CW: 162 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 18:35:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urxdo/halotop_and_the_resulting_effects_tmi/
So I have been wanting to try halo-top for a really long time and finally drove past a grocery store that had it so I stopped and got some to have for dinner. I got the vanilla and it was definitely the best of the 'low cal' options i've ever tried! However.... 2 hours after I ate almost a whole pint, my stomach is emptying itself so aggressively that I don't even know if I should be happy or in mourning for my butt. Just a little story I figured I would share with y'all :)

[Other] Sorry for another Pokémon Go thread... but I'm just so elated!
/u/skinny_pls [5'3" | 110 | 19.5 | -40 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 17:59:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urrtt/sorry_for_another_pokémon_go_thread_but_im_just/
For backstory, I'm that lazy girl that took online PE classes in high school and once thought I was going to die because I missed the bus and had to walk ~3 miles home. To offset my lack of exercise, I'd waste money on adderall. I still kind of am that way; I've been allowing myself more and more calories and rationalizing looser control these past few months.

Well, through the magic of Google, I've figured out that I walk an average of AT LEAST 4.4 miles a day! This doesn't count the times I don't have the app open. And it influences me to make healthier choices. Like, I'll chug a bottle of water and hunt a nearby Pikachu in favor of hiking back to the car for greasy gas station food.

This isn't any holy-shit-wow-10000-steps-a-day achievement, but I feel so proud of myself and I don't know where else to share it! It may be a silly game with no real way to win *in-game*, but I've definitely won outside of the game :) I just wish the weather would cool down so I don't feel like fainting with such low blood sugar!

[Rant/Rave] I'm not going to make rent.
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 113.6lb | 18.06 | -50.4lb | NB]
Created: Tue Jul 26 17:18:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urlbq/im_not_going_to_make_rent/
You know why?

Food. Fucking food is why.

I only needed to make $200, it shouldn't have been that hard. I only made $100, but I understand why I fell short, and know what I need to do next month to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Then I bought food.

On the 19th, $40. Day before yesterday, $54. And now I have $14.

Some of it was binge food, but most of it was just stuff for my half-assed attempt at recovery. Eat at least one thing every day. Get 900ish cals. (999 being ideal, because it's the most intake I can have without completely freaking out over four digits and binging.)

I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself. I'm not going to say all my hard work went to waste because hell, I sell nudes, that's not hard work. I'm a lazy nonfunctional piece of shit.

I'm embarrassed because I'm going to have to ask someone for help and I hate that. I shouldn't have to ask for help. I should be better than this, I should be perfect, I should be organized and have my budgets in order and everything sorted into nice little lists with swirly pretty handwriting. But instead I'm just a fucking mess.

[Discussion] I tell myself its the last time I'm going to b/p...every single time [video vlog]
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Tue Jul 26 17:15:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urkrm/i_tell_myself_its_the_last_time_im_going_to/

[Discussion] What's your favourite thing to drink? (non-alcoholic)
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 16:57:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urhn2/whats_your_favourite_thing_to_drink_nonalcoholic/
Completely disregarding my disordered eating, my favourite thing to drink ever is banana milk. I love it, it tastes like a banana milkshake and I LOVE banana milkshakes! I still treat myself to it every once in a while, but not as much as I used to. I always feel like I am over-indulging when I drink it which can lead to binges for me :/

[Help] Recovering after a binge?
/u/watchingwheels80 [5'5" | 129| 21.5 | -46 | F ]
Created: Tue Jul 26 16:27:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4urco2/recovering_after_a_binge/
Yesterday I binged pretty hard. It started when I was gifted like 12 cookies for breakfast... and went to a get-together with waffles and, later, pizza. I hate not being able to feel my bones, and feeling so enormously fat. My lover has a BMI of 16 (he doesn't even have an ed), so I constantly feel like a whale next to him. I just want to feel thin again :(

This morning, I got up and went back to my normal restricting routine (raw food until dinner, then a small meal with loads of veggies so it looks like I am eating). I am guzzling water and coffee in hopes that my intestines will be flushed out sooner than later. Outside laxatives (really tempted but I am afraid of getting hooked and they always end up working at the least-convenient time), does anyone have any self-care or helpful tricks they use to feel less shitty for the next couple of days? thanks :/

[Other] How I conceptualize my food issues atm
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | HW 180 | CW 117 | LW 114.6 | 29 F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 16:08:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ur9ga/how_i_conceptualize_my_food_issues_atm/
Nerd alert. You can skip this post if you aren't into Star Wars. :)

Lately I've been kind of feeling like Rey during the scene where Kylo Ren tries to force her to give into what he wants, and she successfully resists with tremendous effort. Then she even goes further and demonstrates that not only will she not give in, but SHE has the superior power and control over Kylo Ren. She's stronger.

Is it weird that I conceptualize Kylo Ren as food/hunger? I mean, Adam Driver does look delicious, but... idk. I guess I just crave that kind of feeling of control right now, over food and whatever other powers I'm lacking. I don't always succeed. But when I'm thinking of giving in and eating, I picture her control as she struggles and successfully resists.

I accept this makes me a massive nerd. I am okay with this.

[(Here's the scene... especially starting around 1:20.)](http://youtu.be/QlT-sJLfCPU)

(Edited for redundancy)

[Rant/Rave] Daily food diary here is so helpful...
Created: Tue Jul 26 15:47:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ur5tb/daily_food_diary_here_is_so_helpful/

[Discussion] Day 1 of my 72 hour fast complete!
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 15:32:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ur3ao/day_1_of_my_72_hour_fast_complete/
So far I am 27/72 done with this fast. I am allowing myself to drink diet coke, black coffee, unsweet tea, crystal light and I allowed to chew sugar-free gum. I have a bit of a headache which I only assume will get worse as I go on. I plan to take Tylenol at 7. Tomorrow is also a big day for me because I'm starting my new diet pills! Let's hope they help; I've heard they burn like hell. What's the longest you've fasted for?

[Intro] Rambly introduction, inspired by "have you ever missed a weight deadline?"
/u/Healthilyornot [5'2" | 137lbs | -56lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:37:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqt90/rambly_introduction_inspired_by_have_you_ever/
Hi everyone! I've been lurking for ages but decided to finally make an account (shoutout to/u/Glitter_Cunt for inspiring me to!). I was about to respond to /u/smokesanddietcokes who asked about missing a weight deadline, but then I realized I was summing up my whole year and I should just introduce myself ahaha.
I've always had problems with food & ate myself to Class II obese by the time I graduated college. Aside from some disordered eating at 14, I mostly didn't care or think about my weight, aside from being (then and now) totally, totally obsessed with food. I was steadily gaining ~10lbs a year until I discovered CICO and started running in the beginning of of last year and lost 63lbs mostly the healthy way, although I struggled increasingly with binging as my weight loss frustratingly slowed.

I was very "I'm dating myself" & really didn't have time for anyone else until October, when I met/started sleeping with this dude. I was close to my LW (130) then, maybe 2-4lbs over (from binging), and he was the first person I was interested in that thought I was HOT. There was nothing emotional to it at all; it was all physical, and he was in great shape. Oh yeah....and he was my professor at the time.

Being totally objectified like that for the first time in my life messed with my head a LOT, but it also excited me and motivated me to eat well and exercise and get even "hotter".

...but only when he was around, it turned out.

This January I went to stay with my aunt and so I realized that I wasn't gonna see him for nearly a month. "Great," I thought. "I'll exercise and barely eat and I'll come back skinnier than ever!"
In sum, I ate well and exercised for about two days, slipped up once or twice, then binged my fucking face off for the rest of the month and came back ~5lbs heavier. I was too embarrassed to reach out and see him so I just didn't, instead shame-binging on another 15lbs like an idiot, increasingly trying more and more disordered shit to turn things around (EC stacking, purging, fasting...) I mostly forgot about him and was just so in the habit of binging that I couldn't stop and I was terrified I would just binge back on all the weight I'd lost.

Fast forward to the beginning of this month, when he emailed me, saying he'd like to see me. I panicked, told him I was away until the beginning of August (not true), and made plans to fast/restrict and exercise until I wouldn't be embarrassed to see him. So now I'm on my second weight deadline and doing much better! The day he emailed was the 4th of July and I logged a post-binge weight of 152.3lbs (uuuuugh). This morning, I weighed in at 137! When I started, I thought I could get to 132ish by the end of the month, and I'm missing that deadline due to a few slip-ups, but I don't even care this time because I wasted SO MUCH time feeling bad about not being 100% perfect that I went totally backwards.

So yeah idk I feel pretty pathetic for caring this much about what a dude thinks but it's still the thought that gets me out for a run, keeps me from binging, and basically makes me achieve all the things I wanted to anyways... I do wish I could do it for myself again but I couldn't.

Anyways, you guys have been really motivational and I'm glad to finally be joining you =)

[Rant/Rave] Have to share!! (rant/rave)
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:13:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqovz/have_to_share_rantrave/
I'm new here and have been browsing the past week while motivating myself. I used to regularly fast and exercise and got to a weight I still wasn't happy with but then had a big break up, told myself my ed was stupid and gorged for months on pizza, ice cream, total junk. Now I'm 30lbs heavier and want to die. So back to my ed ways. But in 5 days of restriction all the boost I've had for months is gone and I can see a shadow of my collarbone peeking through!!! I'm so excited!! My collarbones used to be one of my favourite features (once I found them the first time). I started at 240lbs got to 165 and was up to 197. Now I'm down to 195 and pushing to hit 145 (in 5'8" with a broad build). I can't wait! Thanks for all the motivation!!

[Rant/Rave] The loneliness is the worst.
/u/mandarinexd [5'3" | CW:99 | BMI:17.74 | - 11 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:11:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqok8/the_loneliness_is_the_worst/
First of all, I'm so thankful I found this subreddit. Because day after day what strike me the most is how lonely you feel with your thoughts. That nobody can really understand what's happening in your mind, why I refuse going out with friends or family because I'm afraid I will be tempted to eat too much or the stares and intruisive asks if I don't eat. I'm tired of justifying myself by stupid and fake excuses as "oh I have a stomach ache" or "I'm gonna eat later" .

The vulnerability you feel when you tell close friends how you feel, because you know now after that you can't tell them lies when they will see you absently throwing half of the food of your plate in the bin. They will know why.

The worst is when they still ask "but don't worry you are not that skinny to be anorexic"... I'm like, internally , this is bad fuel for a wrong motivation, even if they meant good by telling that

They can't get the struggle and fears when I eat even 200 calories more than my usual intake . They can't understand how tired I feel by constently thinking about food, weight, meals plan .

The panic attack when you see just a mere pound adding on your scale, the anxiety coming when you are at a friend or boyfriend place and see your "binge food" in the fridge .

I don't know really how to cope, I am also tired of randompeople telling me I'm too skinny when I know what they consider "thin" isnt what I consider as goals.

The worst ? The guilt. The guilt of not being good enough for your own aim, but also the guilt of unconsciously putting your stress around you like a dark cloud.

I'm sorry for my rant, and english isn"t my first language so I probably made a lot of mistakes, but I just wanted to get this off my chest and thank you all for your open mind and kindness.

[Discussion] Besides calories what else do you track about your food?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:08:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqnv4/besides_calories_what_else_do_you_track_about/
My top three are Calories, Protein, and Sugar. Calories for obvious reasons, I try to keep my protein up to help curb hunger, and I try to have as little sugar as possible. What else do you track?

[Other] Less than 24hrs till I can weigh myself...
Created: Tue Jul 26 14:07:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqno5/less_than_24hrs_till_i_can_weigh_myself/

[Goal] Tonight was...not great. Today will be better.
Created: Tue Jul 26 13:44:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqjca/tonight_wasnot_great_today_will_be_better/

[Rant/Rave] We WILL do it.
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 133 | 22.39 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 13:42:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqj29/we_will_do_it/
Hit our exercise goal, eat at/under our planned calories or burn off extra calories, fast like a motherfucker, whatever. We'll do it today, and tomorrow, and every day after that. We are brave enough to set the highest standards for ourselves, and we are strong enough to carve, polish, perfect ourselves into who we were always meant to be. I can feel it.

[Discussion] What do you count as breaking your fast?
/u/GingerrWithASoul [5'6 | 124 | 20.09 | -24 | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 26 13:36:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqhyp/what_do_you_count_as_breaking_your_fast/
I'm at 35 hours of what I consider to be fasting. I've been drinking water and coffee and nothing else. My goal is to make it to 50 hours just to see if I can make it.

But I also tend to be slightly hypoglycaemic. So yesterday evening I chewed and spit a soft toffee candy to get a tiny bit of sugar before I had to drive to make sure I didn't get dizzy while operating a two tonne death machine (aka a motor vehicle).

Do you count that as breaking my fasting streak? Where do you personally draw the line? Do you give in occasionally to get through the rest of your fast?

[Other] Cake in the office - Run and Hide!
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 13:20:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqewz/cake_in_the_office_run_and_hide/
So today we had a birthday in the office and I was asked to go get the cake. I found a giant chocolate cake which looked so delicious and I knew everyone would have to eat a slice. I am trying to keep my restricting a secret at work, especially because my new boss is very over-weight and would not react well to my calorie counting.

So I take the cake back to the office, light the candles, carry it into the office of my unsuspecting colleague while singing Happy Birthday with everyone else I sort of make sure I am at the centre of things so everyone knows I am there. Then as soon as the cake cutting started I walked briskly away and hid in the toilet until I thought all the cake would have been handed out.

Nobody saw me leave as they were all so focused on the chocolate dream that was the cake. A couple of people asked where I went and did I get a slice, but I was able to brush it off saying I had an important call and I had to get back to my desk.

So I essentially run away from food now. But the important thing is that I didn't blow my calorie allowance for the day and I feel very happy about it.

[Thinspo] some thinspo to keep me from snacking
/u/justputitdown [5'8" | 152.2 | 22.9 | 31.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:59:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uqazp/some_thinspo_to_keep_me_from_snacking/

[Discussion] Make me feel better - have you ever completely failed at a weight goal?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:49:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq8y0/make_me_feel_better_have_you_ever_completely/
Supposed to be fasting, instead have eaten a bunch of lettuce and a huge bowl of chopped tomatoes (150kcal). Have a headache today and couldn't muster the willpower to fast. Sucks, cus I'm struggling enough already.

So yeah. Feel like shit. This will be the first goal I don't hit.. (the whole 88, or now 90, lbs by September thing - think I'll end up maintaining.. *at best*)

[Help] Troubleshooting crushing down shoulder width for lower bodyfat percentages
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:47:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq8k8/troubleshooting_crushing_down_shoulder_width_for/

[Other] Me when I overate like Shrek but said "fuck it I can live for once" then see the result of the scale 3 days later
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:42:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq7jr/me_when_i_overate_like_shrek_but_said_fuck_it_i/

[Help] How to help body recover from laxative use?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:34:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq642/how_to_help_body_recover_from_laxative_use/
I binged horribly last night, and I took laxatives during it. I woke up at 3am with pains and spent a good deal of time in the bathroom. Problem is I still get the pains and am running to the bathroom this morning.

It's almost noon, and I have a guy coming over tonight. I'm crazy into this guy, and it's only our 3rd date so I don't feel comfortable with him knowing about my bathroom stuff yet... Is there anything I should be doing or anything specific I can eat to help my body recover?

[Other] I nearly burned my whole place down...
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Tue Jul 26 12:31:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uq5hb/i_nearly_burned_my_whole_place_down/
I woke up feeling really off. Had a terrible sleep, nightmares throughout. I kept wavering between wanting to b/p or not. I should have known I really didn't want to.

Anyways, the little destructive gremlin in my brain convinced me that it would be a good idea. So, I was doing the dirty deed, when I realized I'd completely forgot about a pot of popcorn and oil/butter I'd put on the stove. I ran over and sure enough the thing was smouldering.

I live in a tiny bachelor. As soon as I lifted the lid the whole place was full of smoke. I opened a window and put the pot in front of it and a fan in front of that to blow the smoke out. The smell was/is awful and my eyes are so dry.

So, I had a terrible b/p session that just reinforced why I never want to do that again, almost lit my place on fire in the process, and learned the hard way that smoke detectors in dumpy student slums definitely do not work.

The (sort of) good thing about it all is that I think the experience will be enough to put me off b/p for a good while. House fires are LITERALLY my biggest fear, and this whole thing has left me so terrified that I'm hoping the association will put me off this behaviour.

[Goal] Feeling kind of flat stomached this morning? Maybe?
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 11:11:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upq42/feeling_kind_of_flat_stomached_this_morning_maybe/

[Thinspo] Reverse thinspo
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:55:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upn0a/reverse_thinspo/

[Discussion] Why do I make myself feel like shit, even when I eat below maintenance?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:54:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upmvk/why_do_i_make_myself_feel_like_shit_even_when_i/
If I eat anything out of my "safe foods" I feel disgusting, fat, and bloated.

Yesterday I ate at 1,000cal for the day and felt like shit.

I binged this morning at breakfast and ate 5 cereal bars. Not good at all, but still only at 600ish calories for the day, and so full I can't imagine eating anything else.

I don't understand why I have to feel so guilty. Why can't I be okay with it? That's technically an 800 cal deficit? And yesterday was a 400 cal deficit.

I just don't get my brain, or why I've decided that 300-400 calories is safe, and anything else is bad.

It's not fair, because logically I know differently. I don't want to have to feel like this, but at the same time, I don't want to recover and get fat.

Today is just rough and I hate that I hate myself for something I logically know is okay.

It's like I'm two separate people.. does anyone ever feel this way?

[Other] Waking up with a full belly after last nights 3,000 calorie binge
/u/strongerthanyouknow [5'5" |145 |24.4 | -12 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:48:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upllb/waking_up_with_a_full_belly_after_last_nights/

[Help] Liquid fast ruined?
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:33:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upiu8/liquid_fast_ruined/
So I was going to do a liquid fast today and tomorrow because I wasn't going to be home around dinner time and could tell my family I had something to eat when I was out, but this morning my mom went through the effort of cutting up watermelon and putting it in a container for me to bring to work. I ate it because I thought "hey watermelon... it's mostly water. It's in the name even." Now I am sitting here with a belly full of melon and feeling like a failure because, as low cal this melon is (<100 for my serving), it isn't liquid.

I hate when I do fake justifications to myself for eating. I always feel horrible after.

I guess I want validation on wheather I'm being stupid or not. :/

[Rant/Rave] "I exercised off every calorie I ate and still didn't lose weight" pshhh...
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:29:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upi2q/i_exercised_off_every_calorie_i_ate_and_still/

[Rant/Rave] UK in just over 2 weeks
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:04:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4updkd/uk_in_just_over_2_weeks/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 26, 2016
Created: Tue Jul 26 10:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upd6i/daily_food_diary_july_26_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Intro] I'm sorry I babble.
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:59:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4upcnu/im_sorry_i_babble/

[Rant/Rave] Just need to get this off my chest.
/u/Ravanys [61" | 135.8 | 26.80 | 50 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:32:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up7ln/just_need_to_get_this_off_my_chest/
Hello all,

My first post but have been updating stickied stuff pretty regularly and lurk everyday.

I just need to vent I guess. Life it stressful right now. We moved this month and I started work at a new location in a city 4 times the size of our old one. I don't handle stress well at all. I get irritable and dissociative. Not good for me or my marriage. I had a crying fit last night with my husband brought on by probably a mix of PMS, my EC stacks (I take 2 a day), and general weariness from prolonged stress.

Husband wants me to see someone, maybe even medication. I don't want this. I am scared that any meds will mess up my sex drive or sleep cycle. Most of all I am scared I will want to stop restricting. I am scared to give this up. It makes me feel in control right now over *something* at least. I am scared the meds will make me *want* to eat.

I think I need to cut my stacks down as well. I am using Bronkaid a full one, with 24 oz of coffee twice a day, 5 days a week. I think they are making me more irritable and anxious. Going to finish out this box and try just not eating.

Thanks everyone.

[Discussion] Best types of gum?
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:28:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up6pn/best_types_of_gum/
Okay so, generally I chew a lot of gum to sorta keep hunger away and to keep my mouth busy.

I find though, that gum makes me really really bloated and I tend to chew a whole pack in literally a hour.

SO I'm wondering, does anyone else do this? And what are your favorite types of gum?

I like juicy fruit best. Especially the bubblegum version.

[Discussion] Anyone in the UK going to any conventions this year?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:23:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up5xd/anyone_in_the_uk_going_to_any_conventions_this/
Just wondering. It's quite usual for people to meet up at conventions :) I'm going to one in September and wouldn't mind meeting people! I know it's strange to ask here but.. well.. you're my kinda people more than most other groups I guess. Heh!

[Meme/Humor] Sums up how I'm feeling today
/u/daisiesordemons [60in | CW:126lbs | GW: 110lbs | -20 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 09:02:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up21b/sums_up_how_im_feeling_today/

[Rant/Rave] Welp. My dad's taking me to this greasy spoon for lunch and there's no way I can get out of it.
Created: Tue Jul 26 08:57:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4up11o/welp_my_dads_taking_me_to_this_greasy_spoon_for/

[Tip] I just found a really awesome weight loss calculator!!
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 08:44:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uoyvf/i_just_found_a_really_awesome_weight_loss/

I've been playing with this all morning! It's so awesome! You can calculate your changes in lifestyle and it has goal dates and everything! :'D

[Rant/Rave] I really hate the terms "thick" or "juicy" when describing girls.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 08:23:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uov01/i_really_hate_the_terms_thick_or_juicy_when/

[Discussion] Fasting for days then refeeding vs Restricting throughout the day
Created: Tue Jul 26 07:33:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uomkz/fasting_for_days_then_refeeding_vs_restricting/
I see folks on here who look so fantastic and their MO has been to fast a couple of days during the week. However, seems like that will not work for me because when I end up refeeding, I usually go way overboard and end up undoing all the gains (haha!) from my fast.

I think for me, limiting my daily cals to max 700 a day is probably best and spreading my meals to set times so I have something to look forward to not too far off which I think helps my mental aspect of restricting.

Which WOE has worked best for you?

[Rant/Rave] anyone else being force fed by parents?
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Tue Jul 26 07:14:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uojp1/anyone_else_being_force_fed_by_parents/
i have no idea how many calories im eating my parents just feed me everything. the only thing i have control over is my exercise so i run a lot and walk but im just eating so so much. :(

[Tip] Android (maybe iphone?) app for meal ideas!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 06:41:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uoet4/android_maybe_iphone_app_for_meal_ideas/
It's called 'eat this much'. You can input your calories to whatever you want. Your macros to whatever you want, and it generates meal plans that fit that as closely as possible. Maybe you wouldnt follow it entirely, but ive gotten some good meal ideas off of it!

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 26, 2016
Created: Tue Jul 26 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo9eu/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_26_2016/

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Discussion] Does anyone here NOT have Dysmorphia?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 05:59:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo8yk/does_anyone_here_not_have_dysmorphia/
I'm suddenly getting all these childhood memories coming back. I would stare at myself in the mirror for extended periods of time. When I would fall asleep, I would sometimes feel my limbs grow to gargantuan proportions while other limbs shrunk to doll size. I'd have to look at my body to make sure everything was human sized, because my brain told me I was morphing.

So....yeah....pretty sure I have dysmorphia. I've always hated my body to an irrational degree. I see myself in the mirror but can't SEE myself. If that makes sense.

Just curious if anyone here does **not** have BDD.

[Rant/Rave] Lol @ me
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Tue Jul 26 05:45:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo7ca/lol_me/
So, I had planned today as a binge day (bad idea I know I know), and on binge days, I stay away from foods that I find difficult to get up, aka vegetables, watery fruits etc.

Last night though, I had a binge dream and woke up in horror, thinking that I'd really eaten all the stuff I dreamt about, only to realise that it was only a dream thank god. So as you can imagine, I wasn't really feeling the binge day today. All good right??

lol no. I started with vegetables bc no need to worry bc I'm not going to binge. I finish the vegetables. I fuckin go wild in the kitchen and eat everything I can get my hands on. Can't get everything up bc vegetables. Rinse and repeat until now, 10pm.

My tummy is flat (ish) again, but I know that I can't possibly have gotten everything. Literally not possible, and I have no idea how many calories I've eaten today. Fun fun fun.

I'll be out of the house for most of tomorrow though, which is good, and I'll be back at uni on Monday, which is excellent. All I need to do is claw my way until then and I'll be home dry, but God I feel like kicking myself.


[Discussion] Having a hard time dealing with my sedentary job -- anyone else sit allllll day?
/u/thinismygame [5'6" | 148 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 05:39:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo6lp/having_a_hard_time_dealing_with_my_sedentary_job/
I just started an office job. With the commute it's from 730-530. I sit all fucking day. I've never had such a sedentary job but I need it for my resume. I've been a server for years and I loved being on my feet and getting 20k steps. Now I'm lucky if I get 5k. When I feel like I'm failing on one end (in this case, exercise), it leads to a binge. I want to burn as many calories but I'm not moving. I'm feeling so discouraged..

[Rant/Rave] Purged last night for the first time in almost a year
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Tue Jul 26 05:35:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uo64m/purged_last_night_for_the_first_time_in_almost_a/
Ranting on mobile but I can flair when I get home.

Yeah so like the title says, i purged last night for the first time in almost a year. I have the little red dots under my eyes this morning. My stomach is like a balloon.

I was under my budget yesterday (which is 750), I was at probably 650 cals for the day and was feeling really proud of myself. My boyfriend wanted to do an open-mic and I wanted to go too but I had to make it an early night because I work at 7 this morn.

Well after the open mic, which was really fun btw he did an awesome job, we went out for pizza and I had two slices and felt so fucking guilty and horrible and bloated so I did what any recovering bulimic does and tried to puke it up. Eyeballed maybe a slice that I managed to regurgitate and I still feel guilty as fuck. I am sad today.

Going to dinner for my dad's birthday tonight at this fancy restaurant so I'm gonna try to eat like 300cals max until then but wow I feel so horrible and sad. Could use some words of encouragement 😞

[Rant/Rave] I have another cavity - my second in 3 months
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 02:04:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4unjww/i_have_another_cavity_my_second_in_3_months/
I can't do this anymore. I can't destroy my body. I'm 24 and beautiful - I don't want to fuck that up. I'm upping my caloric intake, and I'm going to try to not restrict (or binge). I don't want to gain weight, of course, but I'm trying to accept that as most likely inevitable.

I'm going to try to get healthier. I don't want to destroy my body, especially when I was given such a great one. This cavity was a huge wake up call...

[Help] Advice for a cleanse (tmi)
/u/Saltycook [5'4"| 128# |22.4| -35# | Female]
Created: Tue Jul 26 01:43:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4unhld/advice_for_a_cleanse_tmi/
After this b/p cycle the past couple weeks I went from pooping twice a day to barely pooping once daily. I can only cleanse weds/thurs because I work in a kitchen and hopping off to the restroom often is too conspicuous so or has to be my days off. Thinking of eating only veggie/fruit smoothies the next couple days because using laxatives takes a lot of planning around when they take effect.

[Rant/Rave] Planning is so hard
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Tue Jul 26 01:37:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ungzz/planning_is_so_hard/
So I like to plan out my days of food, today started out like:

150 cals vegan yogurt, 100 cals of golden milk (almond milk w tumeric) because I'm sick, I planned to eat in the morning. (I don't usually eat my calories in the morning).

and for dinner I planned to have my veggie burger (200 cals) with a spinach and strawberry salad (30 ish cals). Which would leave me at less than 500 cals for the day.

But at lunch time my teacher brought in food for my class, so I had 100 cals of fruit then for lunch, and after school my mum went shopping and I didn't ask for anything.. and she came back with nachos and vegan cheese for dinner :( and she also brought me dried fruit and sorbet. (so *high* in cals)

And my brother ate my strawberries. (my favourite low cal/ safe food *sigh*)

Now I'm trying to figure out how I can get under 800 cals (600 is usually my limit) because of the crap my mum bought me. Like, I'm really grateful that she bought food for me but now my dinner plans went out the window, I'm not going to have any self control when it comes to the nachos.

I wish I lived by myself so I wasn't tempted/expected to eat food other people have given me.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I just want to drink my almond milk and eat my salad/healthy food, but I swear there is so much junk food surrounding me even though I'm a vegan. Haha :(

*edit: I had about 250 cals worth of nacho chips, but I threw out most of them/gave my dad some.. I still avoided so many calories (avocado, beans, etc) but I feel like crying.

[Other] I'm so sick of being so heavy. I'm trying to motivate myself to get back down to this picture; y'know, when I actually had collarbones
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 23:21:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4un155/im_so_sick_of_being_so_heavy_im_trying_to/

[Discussion] How do you guys reward yourselves for reaching your goals?
Created: Mon Jul 25 23:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umyqd/how_do_you_guys_reward_yourselves_for_reaching/
One would think that the positive body changes and weight loss alone would be reward enough in itself...but my dysmorphia (? that sounds inappropriately clinical to me; I just think Im shapeless and look like a "smaller fat" instead of "thin" when I lose weight) often gets in the way of my satisfaction.

So instead, I've been trying to come up with ways to reward myself for being good that have nothing to do with food or exercise and are just purely fun and self indulgent, like clothes, massages, haircut, etc. For me, the problem is I not only have anxiety about my body, but about money too yipppeee!! I'll be shopping online, have something (always carefully considered, not even an impulse buy) in the cart, all my card info filled out, ready to hit "submit order", and then I'll back out because I'm too afraid of a) spending that much money on something I convince myself I don't need or b) getting the garment in the mail, trying it on only to find I look like a whale in it or that it doesn't fit :(

I also really want to get a new hairdo before school starts at the end of August, but I feel like since my body sucks any hairstyle will look dumb on me, so why even try? I'll probably just end up going more blonde...but even with that I'm anxious because people will think "Ohh she dyes her hair, she must think she's pretty, she must be vain, haha how stupid of her to be vain, she's just a whale anyway" ahhhhhh whyyy

Massages are very safe and nice as a reward, theyre just so expensive and I don't always have time to go get one.

But enough about my insanity, what do you guys do to pamper yourselves? :)

My stupid revelation
Created: Mon Jul 25 22:20:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umtdo/my_stupid_revelation/

[Rant/Rave] Conflicted about my "binge":
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:42:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umnyq/conflicted_about_my_binge/
Today, I went over by about 13 calories. I was down by over 100, and I ate an Arctic Zone in salted caramel. It tasted so rich and so sinful, and I ate so much of it, that I'm struggling with a fair amount of guilt.

My biggest worry is that I will give control over to the greedy little piggy inside of me, who is ceaselessly clamoring for sugars and starches and fats. I've been so good; I've lost 25 lbs.. I just have to save days like today for fifteen pounds from now.

Thanks for reading. I'll flair when I get on my computer.

[Help] I feel a binge coming on. Help??
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:34:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ummrp/i_feel_a_binge_coming_on_help/
Not like, right this minute, but it's like I'm standing on a beach looking out at the water and I can see a big wave coming. I'm not sure what to do to prevent it. I've been restricting pretty well lately, I haven't gone over my limit in about 4 straight weeks, and I can just tell that sometime in the next week or two all hell's gonna break loose.

I don't know what to do. Should I eat at maintenance for a week and see how that goes? Should I have a controlled mini binge while I can still control it? Should I just keep restricting and hope that I can stick to my guns? I am at a loss here.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[Tip] Take it one pound at a time (motivation)
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:30:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umm3n/take_it_one_pound_at_a_time_motivation/
I know how hard it is to be the size you are now and look at people on this sub, and look at Thinspo and feel defeated. Feeling like you're never going to get where you wanna be, I spent 3 months at the same weight and felt so terrible I would literally cry standing on the scale because I was so disappointed in myself.

You can do this, you've already come so far, whether you've lost 1 pound or 20. You're not the old you anymore. You are stronger you are better you are lighter, and you are thinner.

Be proud of how far you've come. Take it one pound at a time, sometimes looking at you're Ultimate Goal Weight can make you feel like you're not making progress but believe me you are making progress. Take short small GWs in 5 or 10 pound increments.

Any progress no matter how small is progress.

[Other] Halo top diet. Man eats nothing but Halo Top for 10 days.
/u/Apes-Maa [5' 10 | CW: 126.5 | BMI 18.3 | -26.5 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:18:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umke4/halo_top_diet_man_eats_nothing_but_halo_top_for/

[Goal] I'm going to do it.
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:15:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umjvg/im_going_to_do_it/

[Discussion] Honestly, Going to bed hungry is one of the best feelings. Anyone else?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:08:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umiwa/honestly_going_to_bed_hungry_is_one_of_the_best/
Like, feeling intense hunger at night while laying in bed, really makes me feel so good especially when I feel like Ive eaten a lot. Even when I feel hunger during the day time, its still just not the same.

Maybe I'm weird?

[Tip] You guys know about My Diet Coach?
/u/Sundoglord [64" | 118 | 20.25 | 29 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 21:03:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umi8w/you_guys_know_about_my_diet_coach/

[Rant/Rave] My best friend is the best and worst thing ever.
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 20:30:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umdfk/my_best_friend_is_the_best_and_worst_thing_ever/
My best friend is one the skinniest people I know, and he doesn't even try. He has the most beautiful collarbones on the planet and his arms and legs are so skinny. He has a really really high metabolism (I've seen him an entire large pizza in 2 minutes by himself). I love him and I hate him. I hate him because my relationship with food is so toxic and my BMI isn't where I want it to be. He literally eats whatever the fuck he wants and he is so beautifully skinny. His calculated BMI is 17.6 and I am not anywhere near that. My only goal is to be skinnier than him. My first goal is to weigh less than him. Then my second is to physically be smaller than him. My ultimate goal is to be 99 pounds which would put me with a BMI of 17.5. Ugh I can't wait to have beautiful collarbones and beautiful hips.

[Help] Weighing and cooking with frozen veggies
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 89 lbs | 19.21 | -51| F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 20:28:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4umd0v/weighing_and_cooking_with_frozen_veggies/
Do I weigh frozen foods (not meats, I know to weigh that raw) such as veggies or rice before when the are frozen or after I cook them?

[Rant/Rave] I feel so hopeless. [Rant]
Created: Mon Jul 25 20:01:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4um98t/i_feel_so_hopeless_rant/

[Rant/Rave] i love posting on this sub, but i feel more dejected than inspired while browsing
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 19:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4um8a7/i_love_posting_on_this_sub_but_i_feel_more/
all of you posting your pictures are so beautiful and skinny. you all look like models, and here i am, a fucking whale, sitting on my fat ass. i'll never look like any of you. i'm always the fattest girl in the room, and i'm probably the fattest girl here.
i want to look at your pictures and think "wow, i need to keep working so i can look like her" but all i can think is "i'll never be skinny and beautiful like her so what's the fucking point".
i just want to be skinny. that's all i've ever wanted. i want to be skinny so people will like me. i want to be skinny so i can get a boyfriend. i want to be skinny so people won't laugh at me when i walk by and judge me. i don't care what it takes. but i just know i'll never get there. i'll never be as skinny and perfect as the girls who post pictures on here or the person reading this.
edit: thank you all so much for your kind replies and comments. i'm glad to have found this community :-)

[Discussion] Does anyone else not register the scale going down?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 18:51:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulyeb/does_anyone_else_not_register_the_scale_going_down/
* I'll weigh myself in the morning, and promptly forget what it said. As long as it didn't go up, I don't have to panic. But I literally cannot remember what it said at all.

* I'll be disgusted by my inability to lose weight, the fact that my weight is the EXACT SAME as 2 months ago, then look at MFP and see that I lost 7 lbs in 5 weeks. (And then -2 lbs in 5 weeks the following month because my body is insane and doesn't give a shit about the laws of thermodynamics.)

Anyone else?

I miss losing 2 lbs a week so fucking much. I no longer have a sense of control.

[Rant/Rave] I overate, and I'm fucking pissed off
Created: Mon Jul 25 18:41:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulwzz/i_overate_and_im_fucking_pissed_off/
Today was such bullshit. As usual with my days spent sitting at home, it just consisted of me counting down the minutes to my next meal. And me being the absolute fucking fool I am, decided to spend my calories too quickly. So I had to bump myself up to maintenance cuz I knew I'd fucking binge if I got into a battle of wills with the rest of the day.

So that was fine, I was annoyed at wasting a day but whatever. This is when it all breaks down. About 10 minutes before I was going to go to bed, I ate a fucking chocolate biscuit.

You know what happens next.

A bowl of cereal, another biscuit, several Pringles and two squares of chocolate later I am absolutely livid. The day was over! I was in the fucking home stretch and I blew it.

I'm just so fucking angry at everything. I want to burn down that fucking kitchen, with its stupid cupboard where all the chocolate is kept. I hate it so much.

I don't want to wake up tomorrow. I know my first thought will go to what happened and I'll just feel dreadful. I'm 18 on Wednesday. I was 13 when I started to diet, when I started this bullshit cycle of binging and restricting. Does it ever fucking end?

[Intro] Ribcage question
Created: Mon Jul 25 18:00:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulqm1/ribcage_question/
Longtime lurker here, hi everybody! I was wondering if anybody else was having a hard time with the size of their rib cage. I feel like no matter how much weight I lose (and I need to lose a ton), I'm just going to stay huge above the waist.

Here's a picture of how big my ribcage is for reference, pleeeaaase excuse the fat and period bloating:

Hopefully soon I can quit being a little bitch and have the crazy self-control you all have to reach a tiny weight - but this community has already helped me so much! You all inspired me to do a 2 day fast last week and I am starting another tonight (going for 3 days now). Haven't fasted that successfully since the spring, before I let myself go again 😩

[Goal] Hitting rock bottom, when I thought I couldn't feel fatter then I already did....
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 17:27:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ull7q/hitting_rock_bottom_when_i_thought_i_couldnt_feel/
Sorry no flair, on my phone.

So here I am, on the last days of my honeymoon in London. I was really disappointed in not achieving the goal I set for myself, but I thought "it's my honeymoon! With the man I love, in going to enjoy myself and have fun! Fuck my ED brain!"

That was a nice thought wasn't it..?
It kind of worked, I said "fuck it" and ate and drank to my hearts content.
Then reality came crashing down on me....my hubby took some pics of me in front of a monument and when I saw the picture I started hyperventilating. I tried calming myself down, rationalize what I saw...

Then he bought me a couple of dresses as a surprise gift because we were going out to a fancy dinner.
The dresses are really nice!!!
I tried them on and had to lock my self in the bathroom for half an hour because I honestly looked like honey boo boos sister!

I honesty can't live like this anymore...who in their right mind would live like this if there is a choice?!

Fuck it! We have one last day in London, after this I don't care! ED living didn't make me "happy", but it sure didn't make me feel as shitty as being a tub of lard does!

I've tries rationalizing my recovery, but it seems that balance isn't something I can do. So then I rather be my ED self, then my honey boo boo self!

Sorry for the rant, but feeling very lonely right now, my husband doesn't understand, and I know you guys do!

I have a small plan for when getting home. First off I'm going to take pictures , that are going to be my before pics, and post them! (Scary as fuck!!) but it's time to own up to what I've become, and be accountable for my actions!
Before this year is over I WILL post another pic where I'm ATLEAST 20 lbs lighter, or I swear to god I don't know what I will do!

Thanks for anyone who took the time to read this...I needed you to see this, so I know what someone seas me for what I am, and what I can become!

[Discussion] Irrational ED Thoughts
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Mon Jul 25 17:07:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uli1n/irrational_ed_thoughts/
I think I get quite a few of these, and I'm wondering if you lovelies can relate. I find them both hilarious and exhausting. For me, it's:

* Wondering about if I'll 'absorb' extra calories if I wait another few minutes to get up to pee

* Biting my nails and then worrying if I've consumed a bunch of calories without realising (I've actually stopped biting my nails mostly due to this thought)

* Thinking that drinking and retaining a bunch of water is just as bad as a few lbs of fat gain

* Making completely irrational plans based off the number on the scale (I'm not actually gonna cycle 70 miles because I'm retaining water but I've told at least one person I am)

amongst many others....any to share? 😁

[Help] Low calorie flour?
Created: Mon Jul 25 17:02:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulha5/low_calorie_flour/
Somebody mentioned making recipes with a flour or fiber that has practically no calories! Anybody remember what that was? any other suggestions are welcome too.

Thanks lovelies <3

[Rant/Rave] Sensitivity to Gluten/Inflamed tonsils
/u/riert123 [5'3" | too much | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 17:02:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulh9g/sensitivity_to_gluteninflamed_tonsils/
So tomorrow I'm going to see a doctor about my inflamed tonsils and sore throat that has been going on for several months (probably due to me purging) and I'm hoping he says I have a gluten sensitivity. My mom has a sensitivity to it and having this diagnosis will give me an excuse to eat less and eat less fattening foods around my friends and family. Honestly gluten-free food is not good and all of my trigger foods have some kind of gluten in them. I really hope he doesn't make me get labs or anything. Wish me luck xoxo

[Help] When does the pouch go away?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 16:45:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ule9c/when_does_the_pouch_go_away/
I've been doing pretty well lately and there are so many things that I can find that I like about my body, but my biggest hatred is my stomach. As most big girls know loose skin is awful. I started my journey at over 200 lbs and the first time around lost about 60 in 5-6 months. However I was only restricting at this point and just walking. It's left me with a little belly pouch that no matter I do will NOT GO AWAY! I exercise now, do lots of core work, I'm steadily losing weight, but it just never disappears. How low do I have to go before it's gone? What bf% means no fat on the stomach? I've always loved flat stomachs, I think they're sexy as fuck and regularly look at /r/sexytummies for inspiration, it's literally my #1 goal. I just want to get there, I want to know what it's going to take because I'm willing to do anything.

[Help] What's going on??
/u/swarleyandme [5'11" | 200.6 | 27.08 | -89.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 16:30:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ulbxw/whats_going_on/
So, when I joined this subreddit, my weight was hanging out at around 206lbs. In the... about two weeks(?) since, I've been restricting and started exercising again. My weight is currently hanging around 202lbs, but I'm hoping to see an even bigger drop when my period finally decides to end.

Here's the thing, though: at 206, my body fat percentage was at 30%; now it's at 31%??? What's going on? Is my period making things fucky or...? I'm really at a loss. As happy as I've been to see the numbers go down on the scale, now I'm terrified I'm somehow not losing any fat at all.

Please excuse the overall high numbers and percentages. >.<

[Rant/Rave] keeping busy
Created: Mon Jul 25 16:13:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ul906/keeping_busy/
so it's been a month or so since i've posted here and i've gained back like 4 lbs (maybe some water weight but that's still not good)

i mean i'm happy in that i'm glad that i've not been stressing over food constantly, but i'm also so mad at myself because when i'm at work etc, i genuinely can't function without food??

i don't really know what this is i just needed to vent

My mum is an asshole
Created: Mon Jul 25 15:25:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ul0tr/my_mum_is_an_asshole/

[Discussion] Arbitrary priorities
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 15:02:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukwtw/arbitrary_priorities/
The other day I was considering how I measure my "success" in terms of weightless, and how some milestones arbitrarily make me more pleased than others. Here is how I rank them, in order of most important to least important:

1. Smaller measurements
2. Fitting into smaller sizes and specific articles of "skinny" clothing
3. I can see a difference in my physical appearance (mirror and/or pictures)
4. Scale measures a lower number
5. "Shrinking" my appetite -- being able to fast longer and more frequently, feeling full after having smaller portions than I used to, etc.
6. Other people comment on weight loss

What do you think? Are your priorities similar to mine, or do you rank your milestones differently? Are there other progress markers that you use other than the ones I have on my list?

[Help] Truth of 18% bf as a threshold?
Created: Mon Jul 25 14:59:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukw7h/truth_of_18_bf_as_a_threshold/

[Thinspo] thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:56:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukkt8/thinspo/

[Help] Ladies who are EC and supplement stacking, please help! Issues with nausea and EC stack/supps.
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukkrr/ladies_who_are_ec_and_supplement_stacking_please/
Hi Ladies,
So about 2 months ago I started supplement stacking, Bronkaid/primatene, sometimes phentermine, and caffeine, adrafinil etc.

These last few days I wake up with headaches pretty consistently, and am having a lot more body pain, but the biggest issue is actually nausea.

I don't often get nauseous, but these last couple of days I feel like I am constantly about to toss my cookies, then if I finally do the nausea remains and I don't feel better.
The headaches seem to be *slightly* painkiller resistant.

Please advise if you can!

[Goal] My new plan! Going hardcore!
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:51:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukjvt/my_new_plan_going_hardcore/
After 3 days of binging and laxatives, I need to break the cycle for my mental health and my poor butthole's sake.

So I've made a new plan, which i am sharing simply to keep myself in line. If this breaks the rules I'll take it down, I just want to pump myself up!

I am allowing myself a maxiumum of 500 calories, and only at dinner because I live at home until next semester (one month whoop!) and have to eat with parents 99% of the time.

So 500 per day. BUT I can eat the following in this order prior to dinner, so long as I work it off at the park before 3PM:

1. A boullion cube (15), 2. A greek yogurt (80-130), and 3. A protein bar (150-210)

This means at most I can have 355 calories before 3PM. I have motivation to work it off because I take a multitude of fat burning pills, one of which requires a fasted state or it doesn't work.

I am also no longer allowed to eat after 7PM. I will drink a cup of tea after dinner with my show, and that will be it.

This is a complete mess lol I'm just pretty excited about finally feeling like I can stick to a plan. Hopefully I'll be losing at least 3 pounds a week and reach my goal weight before my birthday!

[Other] bright and bold words of encouragement
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:51:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukjui/bright_and_bold_words_of_encouragement/

[Discussion] Which other subreddits do you follow, besides the defaults? Especially thinspo/weight loss related?
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:36:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukh77/which_other_subreddits_do_you_follow_besides_the/
Hi all, just wondering which subreddits you follow, especially related to weight loss/restricting food, so I can get some more content on my frontpage on this account! So far I am subscribed to:

* 1200isplenty
* 1200isplentyketo
* fatlogic
* loseit
* proED :)
* progresspics
* xxfitness

Haven't checked out xxfitness in depth yet, but I have been looking at 1200isplenty, fatlogic and loseit a lot in the last few months before finding this sub! Let me know which other ones you think I should check out :)

Edit: Subreddits I subscribe to from this thread will go here--

* fitmeals
* eatcheapandhealthy
* fatpeoplestories
* makeupaddiction
* skincareaddiction
* truespo
* truethinspo
* 1200isjerky

[Discussion] what food have you not eaten in a long time because of your ed?
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:35:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukh1l/what_food_have_you_not_eaten_in_a_long_time/
I miss homemade pb&js. peanut butter is a huge binge food and bread isn't safe so I usually don't have them in the house. I keep telling myself I'll have one when I'm near my gw, which in retrospect is stupid because I've wasted so many calories on all sorts of junk that I might as well have been eating the damn sandwiches. haven't had one in years and I can't bring myself to do it.

[Rant/Rave] I'm not going to be 88lbs in September. I weighed 97lbs yesterday. Also, my boyfriend is amazing.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:27:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukfhr/im_not_going_to_be_88lbs_in_september_i_weighed/
Ok so first.. Like wtf bros?

Saturday morning I was 93lbs, right? I was meant to be restricting to 500kcal that Saturday because I was only seeing my partner for a few hours.. then he surprised me by taking me to a fair to make up for not getting to spend the weekend together (cus I love fairs) and buying me fair food. I was mentally unprepared and ended up overeating fair food, not a large quantity but quite a few calories because of fried things, but didn't stuff myself..

But then Sunday morning I was 97lbs.

WHYYY. I mean I knew it was physically impossible for all that to be fat, so I had to laugh about it really. I love fair food but havn't had food like that in a long long time so that might contribute to bloat/digestive issues. I don't feel too awful but.. god it is kind of awful. Lol. How can the body do that?! A legit 5lbs of.. what? Water, bloat and shit?

I'm scrapping my 88lbs by September goal. I'm making it 90lbs by September, 88lbs by Halloween (to look awesome for the fancy dress charity run I'm doing - I'm gonna be a zombie hunter!). Cus I am a greedy pig with no willpower at all mainly.. but it's nice to let go of that stress.

Aannnddd you know, I feel okay about it because.. when my boyfriend surprised me by taking me to the fair, and buying all my food for me, we.. ended up having a heart to heart about my eating. He knows. He just knows. We're not saying it straight out but he knows. He made sure I ate food he knows I like by buying me everything I wanted and urging me to get food he knows I'd want. And I ate it. And I couldn't help obviously feeling guilty.. and he was not surprised at me feeling guilty. And that's when we sat down and spoke.

He told me, I don't need to lose more weight. If I am hungry, eat. If I want to treat myself to junk food from time to time, I should do it without guilt. He said I'm thin, I don't need to worry about being fat. He said though, he wont ever tell me I'm too skinny even if I lost weight from here, but that I'm thin and have a great body, and that I can look really fit if I want to with my activity if I eat to fuel it. He pointed out a really fit looking woman who was wearing a crop top at the fair and she looked AMAZING and said to me 'Your body looks so close to that since you started the gym, but doing it involves eating well too'. I told him, I don't see that in the mirror. I see a really fat person. He told me I am very far from fat. He said he loves me, that I'm beautiful, have a perfect body.

He told me he will always love me, no matter my size. Then I ate some more, sat with him in the sun.

I wanted to be 88lbs by September 1st for my very first break away with him, our first proper little holiday together (we havnt been able to afford it before now). After our chat, it hit me that.. he doesn't need that from me.

Of course, he's not the only reason I want to be 88lbs. I want to be 88lbs for myself. One chat with him wont stop that, it's in my head. I need it. One chat with him wont fix my issues with eating. But.. it does mean.. I don't need to stress about reaching it for September 'for him'.

I feel a little better. I wont be changing my plan - I'm still sticking to the same fast/restrict plan that I am comfortable with - changing it freaks me out no matter what and that's just something I can only accept for now cus Im not ready to get out of it - and I am still going to be working on reigning in my binges. 88lbs is still my goal. I'm just not going to ruin my first holiday with my amazing partner by basing my feelings about it on what weight I am for it. Because being with my boyfriend is so, so much more than that.


But fuck 5lbs gain in a day lolololol ew.

[Discussion] Whats the most you've lost in a week?
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:14:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukd6p/whats_the_most_youve_lost_in_a_week/

[Rant/Rave] Boyfriend caught me using this sub
/u/Nand5643 [1.71 m | 67.9 kg | 23.4 | -17 kg | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 13:06:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ukbqi/boyfriend_caught_me_using_this_sub/
Had to make a throwaway to even post this, but I feel so cornered! He and I were just chilling in bed browsing reddit when he noticed this sub on my account (he reddits so he looked directly at the name).

I don't know if any of you guys have been "caught in the act" like this, but I actually felt like a deer in headlights. He knows I've struggled with EDs in the past but I don't think he understands the disorder never just leaves... I've been trying to lose weight again lately, actually down nearly 40 lbs the "healthy way" but it's a constant struggle to force that kind of balance. I still every day fight my ED urges and I have no idea how to just explain that without setting off alarm bells and making him think I'm starving myself again. It's never that easy!

Sorry, just wanted to rant because no one else would really understand the kind of stress that gave me. I really hope he doesn't get extra vigilant about my eating now :(

[Goal] (NSFW) I'm so proud of myself. Finally close to 100Ibs again :)
/u/mandarinexd [5'3" | CW:99 | BMI:17.74 | - 11 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 12:54:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uk9f3/nsfw_im_so_proud_of_myself_finally_close_to/

[Other] skip to 7:20
Created: Mon Jul 25 12:52:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uk92o/skip_to_720/

[Discussion] I videotaped everything I ate yesterday...binge eating/bulimia
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Mon Jul 25 12:03:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ujzxw/i_videotaped_everything_i_ate_yesterdaybinge/
another video....
thanks for watching <3

[Rant/Rave] My mom just asked me if I wanted to join a diet clinic.
/u/allquiets [5'1 | 140 | 26.53 | -4 | 95 | F(?)/16]
Created: Mon Jul 25 11:09:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ujoz3/my_mom_just_asked_me_if_i_wanted_to_join_a_diet/
I'm about to cry. I'm probably overreacting — she knows I'm 'on a diet' and it's just because there's a promotion going on that would make it free for me, but. It's less that a week after I told her that I had a lot of problems with disordered eating, and now I feel like shit. I was planning on eating a reasonable amount of food today, but fuck that, I've lost my appetite. At least I've been reminded about what a fat ass I really am.

[Help] Uncontrollable hunger when EC stack wears off?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Mon Jul 25 10:24:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ujg3t/uncontrollable_hunger_when_ec_stack_wears_off/
Does anyone else experience this? I try to only take it once a day because I have anxiety and the caffeine is already way too much for me, but I seem to be much better off if I don't take an EC stack because once it wears off I always binge.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 25, 2016
Created: Mon Jul 25 10:02:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ujc13/daily_food_diary_july_25_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Intro] Intro
/u/YourChinaDoll [5'1" | SW: 169 | CW: 130.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 09:40:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uj7um/intro/
Hi, lovelies!

I have been lurking here for a while, but I finally decided to make an account so I could be a part of this community. You all are so sweet and supportive, it just warms my heart that this sub exists. I'm a 21 year old student. I've had issues with food and my body for as long as I can remember, but I first purged when I was 13. The last couple years have been pretty rocky, but I think I'm finally starting to get my b/ping under control so I can attain the body I want. After all, my body is a direct result of my choices, right? Thanks for reading!

[Thinspo] Loving my collarbones today
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 09:38:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uj7i4/loving_my_collarbones_today/

[Discussion] Good teas that don't effect birth control?
Created: Mon Jul 25 09:22:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uj4mm/good_teas_that_dont_effect_birth_control/
Hi all,

I've been a long time stalker and long time struggler and recently because I've been spending more time with my lovely boyfriends family (who puts butter in freaking everything) I've been gaining back all the lovely weight I lost...

I want to drink my teas like dandelion tea but I don't know how it effects nexplanon birth control, do any of you? Or know of any that wouldn't? I'd really rather not get pregnant due to tea messing it up (could you imagine omg).

Thanks sorry I can't flair or anything I'm on mobile.

[Help] Covered in bruises
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:118 | BMI:20.66 | GW:108 | F -10lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 25 09:01:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uj0tx/covered_in_bruises/
I need help guys. My legs have so many bruises and I honestly can't remember how I even got them, I'm just bruising that easily. My mom freaked out on me this morning about it and is saying how what with the bruising and how much weight I've lost (not even that much tbh) that I need to go get a physical done.

Does anyone know if there's a supplement I can take to help not bruise so easily? I think if I get that under control and buy some better fitting clothes she'll get off my back. Please help!

[Discussion] It's crazy for me to think about how much meat I sued to eat, and what normal amounts are here in the US.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jul 25 08:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uizs2/its_crazy_for_me_to_think_about_how_much_meat_i/
Living in Oklahoma, and having a cattle farmer as a dad I used to be really gung-ho about meat.

Like, "everyone should eat meat at least once a day" kind of gung-ho.

But now that I'm learning more about nutrition, and the other ways you can get iron and protein into your diet, I'm appalled.

I've always hated big industry farming. My dad is a hippie. Smokes hella weed and all his animals are really well taken care of and roam free. But, I never realized that the amount of meat Americans eat is the #1 reason we farm that way. Weird to never notice the correlation. I'm assuming all the societal brain washing here about being "foodies".

I became pescatarian/vegetarian (I eat meat from fish and shrimp maybe once a month, at most) and now I don't understand how I scarfed down sausage, bacon, bbq'd meat, steak, ground hamburger every single say *shiver*

NOBODY NEEDS THAT MUCH MEAT. I think "no meat Mondays" are a good start. There's no reason we should be killing millions of animals daily, having to keep so many for butcher that they're huddled in inhumane facilities, and ruining our earth so we can have 3+ meals a day with meat.

Is it ED thinking, or do you guys think that people could eat meat once a week and be fine?

[Help] Punishing myself for being a pig....
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 08:53:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uizdw/punishing_myself_for_being_a_pig/
...by forcing myself to eat food the next day. It is compulsive. I feel controlled by something greater than me. This spiral is going to fucking g ruin me. How do I stop it?! I already took a Klonopin in case it was due to panic eating, but no benefit. Now I'm even more panicked. For breakfast, which I don't normally even EAT, I've so far had a bag of cheese popcorn (120) and 3 mini bags cashews (3x160).

I don't want my life to fall apart. This is all I have left to rely on right now and my body is fucking up everything. The devil lives inside my brain. Even when I evade him, he's close behind and we inevitably catch up to me. Every time. Every decade. Forever.

I don't want to eat, but I don't want to die.

I hate this brain and this fat body.

[Help] Help!
/u/Onthedownlowplz [177cm | 60.4kg | 19.4BMI | 9.6kg | Male]
Created: Mon Jul 25 08:02:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uiqpd/help/

[Help] Is this possible??
Created: Mon Jul 25 06:27:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uic0w/is_this_possible/
So yesterday morning I got on the scale and it said 112.8, then during the day I ate regularly (I'd estimate around 2000cals) but also exercised a lot. This morning however I was up at 115.4???? I have been getting enough water, but I haven't had a BM in 3 days. Could that be it?

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! July 25, 2016
Created: Mon Jul 25 06:03:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ui8m6/weekly_stats_update_july_25_2016/
This is the weekly status thread for July 25, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Discussion] What's your ED Chow?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Mon Jul 25 05:35:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ui51w/whats_your_ed_chow/
I used to cook elaborate meals all the time and really identified as a food nerd/cook/baker, but have been trying to shift my mindset to caring less about how food tastes and regarding it as a necessary evil. It's taken a lot of joy and connection out of my life but right now that's less crazy-making than trying to keep up the ED foodie insanity. My goal eventually is to just kind of not care.

It helps me a lot to eat stuff that isn't too "exciting" - simple stuff that tastes okay but not great, with generic textures, super-simple to prepare. Of course low-calorie. Basically the human equivalent of Puppy Chow. Does this resonate with anyone? Do you have any go-to ideas, especially with more protein? My current foods right now:

- scrambled egg whites with one yolk
- vegetable soup/purées, usually broccoli and cauliflower nuked with chicken broth and sometimes a wedge of laughing cow white cheddar
- broth with wilted greens and an egg
- ground turkey or chicken cooked with frozen chopped spinach
- protein shakes/Solent/keto chow
- salad of course, making them plainer these days
- plain gloppy carb stuff (oatmeal, porridge, polenta, mashed potatoes), but this is a major fear area for me and I try to stay as low-carb as possible

[Rant/Rave] Frustrating family members
/u/katiejay_ [5"9 | Godzilla | BMI 26 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 03:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uhnr1/frustrating_family_members/
/rant/ ahead

Firstly let me say I am so grateful that both of my grandmothers are still here and I am sorry if yours have already passed, I love both of them very much but they're frustrating the hell out of me right now. I'm getting married in December and *every* single time I see either of them they remind me I need to lose weight to fit my dress and look nice for photos. Without fail.

Tonight it was my brother's birthday and I made a cake, it took fucking aaaages so I decided to have some to make the effort worth it. Then my family decided to get McDonalds because no one wanted to cook, so I ended up eating almost a whole large fries as well. Grandma 1 said "What, are you starving yourself? Eat some more" and thrust her untouched medium fries at me, and tried to make me eat them all, while grandma 2 sat on the couch glaring at my empty chip box and proclaiming that she'd had a salad already so didn't *need* McDonalds like the rest of us.

It's infuriating. One second they're telling me I'm too fat and the next they think cake AND fries isn't enough food, and the next second I'm being blatantly judged again. I'm so glad I don't live at home and almost all the birthdays for this year are over. Ugh. It's really no wonder my mother and I both had/have EDs as teenagers with these two micro managing our diets :|

[Rant/Rave] I can't even starve myself right
Created: Mon Jul 25 02:49:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uhmej/i_cant_even_starve_myself_right/

[Rant/Rave] i love work
/u/turnonmyrighthand [4'9 | 86lb | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 02:19:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uhja5/i_love_work/
if only because it keeps me from eating for large chunks of time. i wish i could work alot more but im not getting as many hrs as id like (and i have two jobs -_-)

[Help] I gained 8 pounds in a month
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | CW:131lbs | GW 125| GW2 115lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 01:34:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uheeu/i_gained_8_pounds_in_a_month/

[Rant/Rave] I am both happy and very upset
Created: Mon Jul 25 01:25:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uhdhe/i_am_both_happy_and_very_upset/
I told one of my co workers (she's a really close friend) over my issues involving food. She didn't start the "oh just eat" bullshit and I'm very happy about that. She's somewhat supportive of what I want to do and as long as I do it as safely as possible she'll keep it to herself.

[Rant/Rave] Just purged for the first time in 10 years.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 25 00:51:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uh9r4/just_purged_for_the_first_time_in_10_years/
I don't even remember if I even got anything to come up back then. I barely got anything to come up now. But I did... I just couldn't stand having the food in me. Maybe I'll get more next time. Maybe I just need to get the timing right. Or maybe I'm underestimating how much time it takes to actually purge. I don't fucking know. It felt good, though (mentally, not physically, lol). It felt validating. I feel like I earned some kind of "your ED is real" badge. And the fact that I can share it here makes me feel even better. But like, we all do this. We all want these badges. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just owning up to it I guess.

[Tip] 20kcal vegan all-natural ranch dressing
Created: Mon Jul 25 00:22:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uh6iz/20kcal_vegan_allnatural_ranch_dressing/

[Tip] Self-locking anti-binge box!
Created: Sun Jul 24 23:50:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uh2t6/selflocking_antibinge_box/

[Goal] I leave for vacation on Sunday and I have to lose two pounds.
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 23:23:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugzk9/i_leave_for_vacation_on_sunday_and_i_have_to_lose/
Two pounds in a week should be easy but, as I've been barely managing to lose half a pound every week for the past two months, I know I have to step up my game. I'm due for a woosh as my period was last week, so hopefully this is doable.

The plan:
* Cut my daily calories down to 500. That gives me a daily deficit of ~900. X7 days, that's aaaaalmost enough calories to make 2 lbs. I struggle to function under 800 calories per day, so that's going to be hard enough as it is.

* Drink tons of water, tea, and coffee.

* Only eat safe foods as much as possible: egg whites, fat free cottage cheese, fiber one cereal, carrot sticks, pickles, rice cakes, dry popped popcorn, halo top.

* multi vitamin daily, and iron supplement.

*Intermittent fasting on a 20/4 schedule. I'm allowed coffee, tea, coke zero, and broth in my fasting time.

I'm posting here to make this commitment real in my head. Gotta make it, guys!

EDIT: Discovered (once again) that I'm not quite the height I thought I was. Dear Husband was rounding down on his measurements to tell me I was 5'7". Apparently I'm just above 5'7.5" which, as you all know, makes HUGE difference in calculating goal weights.

Now, moving forward with a thrice-checked height of 67.5 inches, I can set my goal weight for 121 quite comfortably. Only two pounds less than it was before. And if I lose the two pounds I want to this week, I can go on vacation comfortably under a 19 BMI. Which is my DREAM.

[Help] Just dug food out of the trash
Created: Sun Jul 24 22:42:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugufg/just_dug_food_out_of_the_trash/

[Discussion] Has anybody felt addicted to exercise?
Created: Sun Jul 24 22:28:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugsro/has_anybody_felt_addicted_to_exercise/

[Goal] I did it!!!
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Sun Jul 24 21:23:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugke3/i_did_it/
Today I've just been in one of those moods where I want to fill a pool up with garlic fingers and drown myself in them. They are my one true weakness. I'd be the worst super hero.

I came so close to ordering them, doing that back and forth rationalizing, trying to decide. But I just kept thinking about tomorrow morning, and how what little comfort I'd get from them would be completely gone when I stepped on the scale.

So now I'm going to bed, feeling accomplished. I think if I still want them in a week I'll find a way to work them in, because learning to find a healthy balance doesn't sound bad. But for now, I'm just happy I was able to say no.

Nighty night!

[Other] Day 5 of making the team: I hate clothes, and I gained weight
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 21:19:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugjzt/day_5_of_making_the_team_i_hate_clothes_and_i/
My sister gave me a HUGE haul of hand-me-down, which are all incredible clothes that I would never otherwise be able to afford, but she's also tiny. There's a bunch of really incredible clothes that don't even come close to fitting my fat ass. Color me triggered.Also, I nearly a pound in a freaking day. I just started my period,so it's probably water weight, but it's making me want to rip my skin off.

In addition to this, I have plantar faciitis, which means my feet are always killing me and exercising and constantly going to dance class is really painful. Hopefully stretching helps.

I'm gonna spend my night cataloging my closet to try to figure out what I still need before I go off to college (again). It's actually a lot of fun, other than stuff not fitting me. Keeping "motivation clothes" is making me lose my freakin' mind.

[Rant/Rave] i don't think i can do it
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 21:03:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ughur/i_dont_think_i_can_do_it/
people are starting to catch on. if my parents found out that i was eating 450 calories a day (plus exercise, so less ultimately) they would freak the fuck out. i'm still so far away from my goal and i'm afraid that someone will find out and force me to binge and get even fucking fatter. today i told my dad that i want to lose at least 30 more pounds and he freaked out. i don't want to be forced to get fat. i don't want to go back to the hospital.
and i still feel like a faker. no one will take me seriously because i'm still so fucking fat. no one would believe that i have an eating disorder since i do actually eat (fasting gives me horrible headaches). i don't even like admitting it to myself. people on tumblr keep sending me messages trying to convince me that i have an eating disorder but i'm so fucking fat that of course i don't, it's not anorexia if i'm a fucking whale already.
i just want to be skinny. that's all i want. i want to be skinny.
sorry for the rant.

fat people motivate me
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:54:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uggmm/fat_people_motivate_me/

[Help] Coffee, Gum, and Splenda
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 89 lbs | 19.21 | -51| F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:49:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugfz4/coffee_gum_and_splenda/
Do you guys log the calories for coffee gum, splenda, and coffee? I've stopped using splenda and switched to a stevia extract and try my best to not drink no cal drinks with splenda but I love my gum an coffee. I work at a coffee shop and I get free coffee (which i love) but i've been sticking to tea because on our nutritional guide it says hot coffee, espresso, and cold brew have calories. The calorie count is very little (4-5 calories) but I feel like if I'm having 2 to 3 cups I should count it; same with gum. Even at places I don't work at, coffee is listed with a calorie count. I also chew soooo much gum and I make sure to chew it for 40 mins bc that roughly equals the calories to burn it, but if I'm chewing so much gum that has 5 calories each piece I feel like I should log it.

***edit: Also forgot to mention spices, cinnamon, pure vanilla extract, and other stuff for cooking (when it's in low cal amounts)

[Rant/Rave] Sugarfree gum haul!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:46:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugfkq/sugarfree_gum_haul/

[Help] Diagnosing Dizziness?
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:39:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugeju/diagnosing_dizziness/
I have felt light-headed when I stand up quickly over the past couple hours. I have been sipping on water pretty much all day. I ate 400-500~ calories yesterday, and 500-600 calories today, so it's not as though I'm hardcore fasting or anything.

I'm straddling the underweight/healthy BMI, so... what's going on? Is this something that could be caused by a vitamin deficiency or something?

[Help] How to deal with EC stack / weight / exercise plateaus?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:37:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugefb/how_to_deal_with_ec_stack_weight_exercise_plateaus/
I think I'm going to hit a plateau very soon because I lost 25lbs very rapidly.

Currently, I have one binge day, 2 fasts days, and 4 restriction days of 200 calories max. I get 3L of water a day, I replenish electrolytes very well. My EC stack seem like they're not working for me anymore and I feel like I should increase caffeine... but I've been very high-strung lately with the increase where I'm literally yelling at people out anxiety. I've been running better each and everyday but am seeing no difference...

I feel a bit hopeless and I feel like a fucking whale. Should I opt for a 30 day water fast? I think I can manage to do it if I throw out all my food today. I don't have any binge foods, just pickles, spinach, red wine vinegar, and goat cheese as of right now.

Any advice is appreciated rn, I'm so desperate to not feel this way anymore.

[Tip] Tried out a new idea for a decadent, sweet, dessert-like snack... A baked banana! [105 calories]
/u/holly-mint [5'4" 23F 🌹 waist-- H: 36", L: 27", C: 33", G: 25"]
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:15:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugbbw/tried_out_a_new_idea_for_a_decadent_sweet/
Today when I went to have a banana in the evening, I had a great idea for how to turn it into warm, sweet, moist comfort food without adding a single calorie. I sliced it lengthwise, put it on a baking sheet, and baked it for about 5 minutes at 400° F. A medium banana comes in at around 105 calories, and if you want a little something extra for flavour you can sprinkle some cinnamon on top at 6cal/tsp. It basically tastes like a flour free, super moist banana bread fresh out of the oven! Definitely something to try if you have a craving for a warm dessert!

[Intro] i'm back. new username.
Created: Sun Jul 24 20:11:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ugawz/im_back_new_username/

[Tip] For fellow Canadians
/u/starry_daydreamer [4'11" | 99 lbs | 21.2 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 18:52:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufzte/for_fellow_canadians/
I just discovered that costco sells pb2, in case any of you are interested :)

[Rant/Rave] There's coconut oil in my hair right now and it's satisfying my cravings
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 18:26:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufwbo/theres_coconut_oil_in_my_hair_right_now_and_its/
GUYS. guys.. GUYS!

I bought coconut oil for the first time yesterday and today I decided to use it in my hair as a mask :D I dampened my hair first, and then since I have a ton of hair I kind of just slapped it in. Now about 1 hour and a half has passed and I. smell. so. good.

I can't stop swishing my hair back and forth. I feel like [this](http://i.imgur.com/EhvA8Gk.gif) right now.

Does anybody else sometimes smell things to satisfy a craving? Tell me all about it!

[Intro] Intro of sorts
Created: Sun Jul 24 18:13:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufuj7/intro_of_sorts/
I've been here for a week or so, though I've been struggling with disordered eating for a few months now.

Over the past year, I've started experiencing IBS type symptoms. My parents are doctors, but I've never been officially diagnosed beyond my dad telling me, "It runs in the family." It started really mild, tummy upsets and heartburn, only to progress into a nightmare of symptoms. At least once a month I get afflicted by something my Aunt calls the "Master clear," (she's the only one in my family who has it as severe as me). It's basically gastroenteritis without the actual viral infection, vomiting and diarrhea for a day or two. I have no idea what food items trigger it, but it led to me becoming obsessed with food, everything I might eat was a threat. After that I lost a bit of weight, I was captivated by the number on the scale dropping. I started weighing myself every day, started restricting calories more - but with the calorie restriction I noticed my IBS symptoms fading away in conjunction with my weight. It's probably due to not eating much of anything, but the calorie restriction also helped ease my anxiety. The control helped me feel better, and IBS is supposedly super connected with stress levels, so somehow this "disordered eating" led me to feel better. Initially at least - now I'm tumbling head first into a suicidal-thought-ridden hell hole, the only thing making me feel better is not eating.

At least I'm not overweight anymore.

[Rant/Rave] I'm the baker in the family..
Created: Sun Jul 24 17:58:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufs5n/im_the_baker_in_the_family/
Next weekend it's my brothers birthday and I've been assigned cake baking duties. I love baking but this one is going to kill me.. I'll be making a mirror glaze cake which is basically all sugar and the glaze has to be poured over a cake that has a chocolate mousse coating covering the outside of the cake. As if having to eat a slice of it on the day isn't already bad enough, It's a two day process to make this cake so I have to avoid dipping fingers for taste tests both days plus I need to do a practice run since I've never made a mirror glaze before and there's going to be a lot of people at this party so it has to be perfect.

I can handle not binging if I don't buy junk food but when things like this are right in front of me it's so hard.

[Tip] PSA for Halo Top and Arctic Zone for y'all that can't find or afford them
Created: Sun Jul 24 17:36:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufp07/psa_for_halo_top_and_arctic_zone_for_yall_that/
I just brought home my very first pint of Halo Top in Birthday Cake and it is sooooo good. Too bad that it is $5 a pint and usually sold out. Here's a few tips for you guys.

Check around in different sections of your grocery store. Kroger carries Halo Top with the natural foods but puts Arctic Zone with the regular ice cream. Your store may carry it but hides it someplace weird.

Don't be afraid to ask the store manager or customer service to order Halo Top or Arctic Zone for you. Sometimes the person who orders for dairy will be different than the person who orders for natural/organic foods, you may get lucky with one rather than the other. It never hurts to ask!

If you still can't find it or the price point is too high here's a recipe!

[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/keto/comments/36pch5/on_a_mission_to_recreate_halo_top_ice_cream_in_an/) recipe was lovingly given to us by the official Halo Top!

[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/xxfitness/comments/40w686/insanely_delicious_homemade_halotop_ice_cream/) recipe was created by a redditor and looks a bit simpler to follow.

Both recipes can be made using the ice+salt+shake method but would benefit from an ice cream maker. I paid about $40 for one off Amazon and then was filled with regret after finding an almost brand-new ice-cream maker in goodwill. Novelty cooking gadgets like popcorn poppers, ice cream makers, and mandolins pop up pretty frequently in thrift shops. If you are patient and lucky there's no need to break the bank.


[Thinspo] An alternative source of thinspo: art history
/u/magfrack [5'5" | 133 | 22.39 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 17:25:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufngu/an_alternative_source_of_thinspo_art_history/

[Rant/Rave] Kroger has a sale on powerade!
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 16:41:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufh3m/kroger_has_a_sale_on_powerade/

[Tip] I HATE stevia, but found a solution!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Sun Jul 24 16:34:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufg09/i_hate_stevia_but_found_a_solution/
0 cal Torani Vanilla syrup. This shit is amazing, and doest taste 0 cal. It's actually kind of scary to use. Seems too good to be true haha

Just a tip for anyone who hates that chemical aftertaste of other artifical sweetners *yuck*

[Rant/Rave] B/p'd for the first time :-/
/u/InSkyLimitEra [5' 7.25" | HW 180 | CW 117 | LW 114.6 | 29 F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 16:25:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufeke/bpd_for_the_first_time/
Guess I just needed someone to talk to... well, not even that so much as just someone to listen. My SO is out of town for the weekend with his asshole loser high school friends who, long story short, trigger me with profound, immeasurable intensity when I even think about them more than superficially or momentarily.

Calorie counting has been my thing for years but it's gotten intense recently, on occasional days burning more than I consume, something that had never even come close to happening in the past. I started heavily restricting just a few weeks ago and am down over 10 lbs since then.

This past week I successfully restricted like crazy with the intention of giving myself the opportunity to binge on pizza and fries today, which I obtained and ate a portion of. And then rather than feel satisfied and happy like I expected, I felt guilty and sick and self-loathing and... well, wound up purging twice for the first time. Also (minor) cutting for the first time in a long time.

I think I'll be sticking to restricting from now on because the anxiety of not knowing how many calories I purged has been plaguing me all day. But I'm just tired, and frustrated, and lonely, and fat, and worthless, and just generally feel like death. I hate myself so much. I don't know why anyone here would even listen to me. You shouldn't.

This is probably meaningless word salad and I have the least severe problems of anyone here. But seriously, I just... I guess I just needed to get off my chest that food is starting to consume me, I can't deal with the increasing guilt, and I'm not okay. I'm really not okay.

ETA: additional ranting

[Help] How harmful do you guys think my new diet will be? Looking for damage control tips.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Sun Jul 24 16:24:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ufegk/how_harmful_do_you_guys_think_my_new_diet_will_be/
I'm stocked up on tea, coffee, powerade zero, 20 cal hot cocoa, 5 cal boullion, lettuce, and tomatoes.

I'm not going to limit myself from any of this. I'll eat/drink as much as I want, but this is what I'll be consuming for however long I can handle it. Recently this is really all I've been craving so I'm hoping I can do this AT LEAST a month.

What do you think are the consequences of this? Of course what we do will always have consequences. But will I end up in the hospital? I'm just making sure I'm not doing something really horrible.

[Discussion] Glucomannan Pills?
/u/Miss_Embie [5'6" | 135 | 21.7 | -17| F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:55:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf9sv/glucomannan_pills/
So, I was wondering has anyone had Glucomannan 500mg pills from [amazon](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Glucomannan-500mg-Konjac-Fibre-Capsules/dp/B00OKE080O/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8) I usually use Slim sips to make me fuller but I run out of that stuff fast and it's not that cheap. So if anyone has used the pills, did they actually make you feel fuller?

[Thinspo] [thinspo] getting back to my goal!
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:32:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf699/thinspo_getting_back_to_my_goal/

[Help] What to watch
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:31:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf5zz/what_to_watch/
I need shows to watch. I watched all of what I could find of Secret Eaters last night. I tried my 600lb Life, but that's just way too gross. I honestly almost puked and I'm a fatty.

Can't flair, on mobile

[Goal] Getting back on track. Again. For the last time?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:02:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf17m/getting_back_on_track_again_for_the_last_time/
It happened slowly, but moving in with my GF had me slipping up. Going out for ice cream once a week, eating bigger portions...hell, I even started eating about half of whatever I planned to chew and spit. And to top it off, a food heavy vacation weekend...I dont know exactly what I weigh right now, I've been bloated and constipated on and off for days, but the last low number I saw this week was 98. My ugw was 95, and then i got relaxed, and now I'm nearly hitting 100 again? No way, no thanks. I dont think so. I dont fucking think so.

New plan:

900cals/day MAX

GW1: 95.0

GW2: 93.0

GW3: 90.0

UGW: 87.0

Also avoiding C&Sing as much as possible. However, if c&s does happen, I am not allowed to swallow a single bite. Every oz gets spat back out.

Today I went to the grocery and loaded up on diet soda, seltzer water, tea, and veggies. I also got a huge bag of frozen veggie dumplings that are somehow only 27 cals a piece (black magic, I assume. Id share the brand with you but the entire bag almost is in korean i think)

I'm really trying to change my mindset this time. I dont want to just look thin, I want to think thin. I want to look at food and shrug. I dont want to obsess over it all day. I want to be the kind of girl who just forgets to eat because its not really my thing. I dont want to care about feeling full. If i can make all this a habit...maybe I wont have to start over anymore.

This is mostly to help motivate me. Saying my plan outloud (on here) makes it feel real. Like a reintroduction, I suppose. I'm back on the weightloss train with you guys, choo choo lets go!

[Help] Are there personal trainers that "specialize" in eating disorders?
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 15:01:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf16f/are_there_personal_trainers_that_specialize_in/
Hi everybody,

When I can afford it, I plan on investing in personal trainer meetings, and I'm curious if anything like this exists because I can't find it directly on the internet. Most of what I'm finding is tips for personal trainers on how to identify somebody with an eating disorder.

Right now I'm just restricting, heavy daily cardio with full intention of still losing weight. However, when I get to my goal weight I want to start eating at maintenance (D: scary) and muscle training. Do any of you know if there are personal trainers with experience on how to work with people recovering/recovered from an eating disorder?

They'd understand stuff like why it might be difficult to see weight gain even if it's muscle, why it might be harder to up calorie intake for the sake of muscle, and all the other wonderful things that come with an ED.

Thanks in advance!

[Rant/Rave] Just had a major freak out over food..
Created: Sun Jul 24 14:54:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uf014/just_had_a_major_freak_out_over_food/
hi, obligatory intro of long time lurker and first time poster.

im on a strict 800 calorie a day diet and I religiously plan my food the day before. i try to net at exactly 800. i asked my mom to pick up these stupid vegan chicken replacements at the store and she said she did. I just tried to cook them but she got the wrong fucking brand that isn't even vegan. now my whole day is screwed up and I'm crying and I feel like I'm going to binge now :(

sorry, just needed to rant about how pathetic I am. also no flair bc on mobile.

[Rant/Rave] 185 cal dinner! Meal prep rocks
Created: Sun Jul 24 13:52:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uepmy/185_cal_dinner_meal_prep_rocks/

[Discussion] Weird reasons for fasting
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 13:47:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ueot3/weird_reasons_for_fasting/
Does anyone else fast for weird reasons? I decided to today bc my husband refuses to address his own mental health issues and I'm pissed at him. I can't control what he does, but dammit I can control what goes into my fat mouth.

On mobile, can't flair.

[Other] (other) Thought you'd like what I keep on my fridge for motivation (translation in comments)
/u/headfirstintospace [5'4'' | FAT AF | Binging is shite | 21 / F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 13:43:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ueo3f/other_thought_youd_like_what_i_keep_on_my_fridge/

[Rant/Rave] My eating is everywhere at the moment.
/u/smallsmallersmallest [168cm | CW 52.5kg GW 47kg | 18.66 | -8.5kg | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 13:30:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uem2b/my_eating_is_everywhere_at_the_moment/
I know we get a lot of posts ranting about binges but ughhhh it's so frustrating. I cannot stop eating. Friday I binged massively, Saturday I did my first over 24 hour fast (33.5 hours!!), which I was really proud of, and then today I go and ruin it by binging again.. Seriously, it was so easy yesterday to not eat and then today I couldn't stop. I find that once I start eating it's harder to say no and every fortnightly Sunday I have to eat two meals a day (instead of the usual one) because I'm with family and eating midday makes me way more likely to binge in the evenings, which is why I try to only eat at teatime. But I'm not going to let this binge get any bigger tonight, and I'm going to do well tomorrow. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon and I don't want to be all bloated for it, I would feel disgusting and not be able to concentrate. I just hope today's bloat will be gone by the morning because my waist is a whole inch bigger than it usually is and I'll need to fit into my skirt.

[Rant/Rave] just had the most hilarious argument with my bitch of a mother
Created: Sun Jul 24 12:49:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uefjl/just_had_the_most_hilarious_argument_with_my/

[Goal] Going to start this week better
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 11:47:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ue5dx/going_to_start_this_week_better/
This weekend has been the worst, drank/ate way too much Friday and Saturday morning. Last night I decided to not be social and go to bed early after only one drink and working out to Netflix. Got up at 4 this morning, took an EC stack and went to the gym for two hours because binge watching Netflix is way better when on the bikes. Afterwards I felt actually kinda good about myself despite my weight being up to 101 (it's been more in the high 90's lately).

Anyway, I hope this momentum keeps going and I can clean and maybe even feel sexy enough to Skype my SO. I hate my arms in these pics, but my stomach is finally getting back to normal.



Thanks everyone here for your wonderful support :)

hello again!
Created: Sun Jul 24 11:14:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ue08h/hello_again/

[Discussion] What do you get at Costco?
Created: Sun Jul 24 11:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udxpd/what_do_you_get_at_costco/

[Discussion] how do you guys take your coffee?
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Sun Jul 24 10:59:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udxm0/how_do_you_guys_take_your_coffee/
i love coffee, it keeps me energized without a ton of calories, but i hate the taste plain. i need milk and sugar but then i feel like i just drank sugar. how do you guys do coffee?

[Rant/Rave] Another Germany trip update
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 10:10:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udq23/another_germany_trip_update/
*Good News:* I'm pooping again!!

*Bad News:* I'm on my period and I'm super bloated and I'm also gaining weight and I've lost almost all of my muscle mass!! And on top of that I don't have access to a scale for another week and a half!!! 💀🔫 ((kill me!!))

II'm being forced to eat 3 square meals a day and purging isn't an option bc I never get time alone anymore!! and school starts in 2 weeks so ive got 3 weeks tops to do damage control which isnt enough to get me back to where i was!! On top of that I'm suPER EMOTIONAL BC BPD AND I'M GETTING OVERWHELMED BC I'M EXPECTED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE 24/7 AND I'M REALLY ANTISOCIAL WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MY FP!!!


[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 24, 2016
Created: Sun Jul 24 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udosk/daily_food_diary_july_24_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Help] TDEE help…?
Created: Sun Jul 24 09:58:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udoal/tdee_help/

[Discussion] I had a very off putting breakfast...
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 24 09:51:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udn6v/i_had_a_very_off_putting_breakfast/
... and I can definitely say it was a good way to start the day! It was a salad with tuna around 220 calories but I usually use a different dressing and don't add pepper. I can definitely say the dressing isn't sitting well with me but now I really don't want to eat anything else today! Does anyone else eat disgusting food first thing in the morning so you won't want anything else?

[Rant/Rave] Phantom fat
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 135lbs|21.3|-50lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Sun Jul 24 09:37:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udl9g/phantom_fat/
I weighed 170 lbs for about 18 months. At 5'7" that meant I was a size 12 (women's), large.

I recently got rid of most of my clothes and bought a new wardrobe. Everything I bought was size small. I don't know my pant size because the pair I bought had no tag or size. They are a little tight but I'm guessing they are a size 7 (misses).

But when I go to put on the clothes I think they are going to be too small and I'm so scared I'm going to get stuck or not be able to put them on. I tried them on in the store, but in my house I just feel like the clothes are going to be so small.

I have phantom fat around me. Anyone else who lost weight have this happen to them?

[Rant/Rave] Being social sucks.
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Sun Jul 24 08:22:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4udajp/being_social_sucks/
We went out last night and I ended up adding an extra 370 calories to my day because of liquor that I hadn't planned because my friends refuse to accept that I don't drink anymore. I'm mad. At them for not respecting me and at myself for giving in.

When we were out I also ran into this guy who I'm in a sort of FWB situation and ended up sleeping over at his place. We definitely burned some calories with acrobatic hanky panky but then he made me breakfast and I couldn't get out of it. I'm gluten free so I can usually use that excuse but he remembered.

Ugh now I remember why restricting turns me into a hermit.

[Tip] Cranberry popsicles
Created: Sun Jul 24 08:19:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uda73/cranberry_popsicles/
So I drank some diet cranberry juice today from ocean spray and they're only 5 cals per 240 mL! I figured I'd make them into small popsicles and they come at around 1-2 cals each :D I put around 70 mL per plastic. I'm going to use them for when I want something sweet while fasting :)

[Rant/Rave] why did my mom have to make ice cream sandwiches?
Created: Sun Jul 24 03:27:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ucidg/why_did_my_mom_have_to_make_ice_cream_sandwiches/

[Discussion] Sparkling water?
Created: Sun Jul 24 02:28:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ucdhs/sparkling_water/

[Meme/Humor] going to bed tonight....
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 23:59:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubzll/going_to_bed_tonight/

[Help] Think one of my friends is a mia trigger for me - but I can't do anything about it...
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 23:25:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubw55/think_one_of_my_friends_is_a_mia_trigger_for_me/
So today I figured out two of my Mia triggers - stress from work and spending time with one of my friends, C.

The stress from work I'm beginning to deal with in healthy ways (meditating and deep breathing) but I have no idea how to deal with this one friend in my friend group.

A group of us started to go to the gym together recently (usually my 2nd time that day but they don't know that) and she constantly comments on her own body. She's a good 5-6 inches taller than me and is maybe 50-60 pounds heavier but she thinks she has a thigh gap (when she showed us she was standing with her feet apart and was adamant that that was a thigh gap) and says her ribs show (when she lies down). Another one of my friends was showing us a picture of her before and she laughed and said she didn't see the weight difference. We were drinking the other night and I was talking about CICO and she actually started screaming that I was wrong and healthy fat is worth less calories than unhealthy fat.

She also is very inconsiderate in my house, especially in my kitchen and this always makes me very anxious. She uses my bowls/plates/cups with out asking and I'm weird about people using my safe cups and bowls, then she'll leave them out and not even put them in the sink so I have to wash them before I need them. She'll make mean little comments about food in my fridge. She also invites people over to my house and offers them my drinks (Diet Coke and la croix) and never throws away her trash and it's incredibly frustrating.

We were all supposed to go out tonight but I just couldn't deal with her being in my house so I lied and told everyone I felt sick and needed to be alone and sleep and then b/ped a WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING PIZZA.

I don't know how to deal with her - I HATE confrontation and can't just stop talking to her but it's literally driving me to binge and purge multiple times and I can't keep doing this.

[Help] Diarrhea whenever I eat more? (TMI/gross description)
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 23 23:24:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubw1u/diarrhea_whenever_i_eat_more_tmigross_description/
Hey guys..

So my eating has been messed up for a long time and I've never experienced this - diarrhea when I eat a 'normal'/large amount?

I fast Monday, Tuesday, Thursdays. I restrict to below 750kcal Wednesdays and most Fridays, and keep it strictly high protein, low carb, low fat. Saturday and Sunday I eat and don't watch my carbs and fat so much.

So it happened last week and I thought I had gotten a stomach bug. I had my usual routine Monday-Friday, and then Saturday morning proceeded to eat kinda normally as my partner was over. By the Saturday afternoon I had terrible watery urgent diarrhoea and thought I had a stomach bug as mentioned, and so had crackers and soup the rest of the day.

It's happened again this weekend, exactly the same. I ate a bit more than usual on Friday but not much (1000kcal rather than 750, more carbs than usual) and had a little diarrhea by Saturday, but not much and didn't dwell on it. While I meant to restrict yesterday as my partner only visited for a few hours, my partner surprised me by taking me out to eat and then later buying me food to eat from the store, so it ended up being a more usual day of intake and not low carb, low fat.. and today I wake up with the exact same watery urgent diarrhea and painful stomach.

Any ideas if it's anything relating to my eating causing this, and why? I havn't changed the types of food I eat at all (even when I ate out with my boyfriend yesterday, it was the exact same meal I order whenever we go there at the weekends except we usually go on Sundays and not Saturdays). Nothing about my diet has changed, besides I am fasting and restricting a bit more Monday-Friday in attempt to reach my 88lbs by September thing.

Any insight appreciated :( Even if you don't know why, have you experienced this?

[Rant/Rave] Went to the fair with my bf tonight :)
/u/Shelbolovesnate [5'2" | 100 | 18.95 | 35 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 23:03:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubtun/went_to_the_fair_with_my_bf_tonight/
Tonight I was bending over to put on my shoes, and he says "Jesus Christ I can see your ribs through your back, that's kind of scary." (Secretly pleased)

And then he said "You remind of that ballerina from that one movie." "Black Swan?!" "Yes!"

:D That is quite possibly the sweetest thing ever! I've never mentioned that movie to him so I was really surprised. I was feeling a bit upset about going to a place with so much fried food, but that made me feel so much better. :)


Progress photos because I'm happy :)

[Help] I just don't get it, please help me understand
Created: Sat Jul 23 21:52:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ublyr/i_just_dont_get_it_please_help_me_understand/
Every time I binge, it takes days of starving to go back to my previous weight. I just don't get it.

Like during my brother's birthday thing. I ate too much for like 3-4 days. But I doubt I ate 3,500 cals more than my TDEE everyday. And yet I gained around 5 pounds. I know, it's probably just food weight and water weight and shit but if it is, wouldn't starving myself for 94 hours help me lose more than 5 pounds since I didn't really eat that much over my TDEE?

I feel like there's something wrong with me. I'm going fucking crazy.

[Help] This weird thing is happening to me....? I get to hungry...I vomit?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 21:47:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uble4/this_weird_thing_is_happening_to_me_i_get_to/
Idk whats going on? Lately I've been letting myself get so hungry I guess it causes nausea, and of course nothings coming up, but stomach bile and some power aid I drank earlier.

But my point is, anyone else going through this?

another day in the life video: bulimia/binge eating
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Sat Jul 23 21:28:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubj26/another_day_in_the_life_video_bulimiabinge_eating/

[Rant/Rave] [rant??] my grandmother thinks she's having prophetic dreams about me being bulimic
Created: Sat Jul 23 21:18:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubhw5/rant_my_grandmother_thinks_shes_having_prophetic/

[Rant/Rave] Self-control
Created: Sat Jul 23 20:50:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubeck/selfcontrol/
I'm actually proud of myself. Ive been able to avoid bad (like junk food, take out) food and I'm so close to reaching my ugw. At this point its not even a temptation. I wouldve never have thought myself capable of being successful in mind over matter. But I have and it's great.
Sorry all, had to share my excitement.

[Rant/Rave] Day 4 of making the team: fuck
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 20:28:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ubbk8/day_4_of_making_the_team_fuck/
I ate a goddamn 250 calorie muffin today. It was a "healthy" that was homemade with greek yogurt, but still. I guess I should skip dinner! Dance class was HARD today too, I got really dizzy during turns and I think the teacher thought I was gonna die, lol.

[Discussion] What is your favorite safe food to binge on and why is it Halo Top?
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 19:38:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ub527/what_is_your_favorite_safe_food_to_binge_on_and/
Seriously. I don't know how I'm not tired of it yet, but I'm so in love with it.

I've been sticking to 600-700 calories the past few days while my husband is out of town, and basically I just make my way through two pints of ice cream a day. I feel like I'm going wild and being super indulgent, but it's only 480 calories out of my day!

What are other foods you guys find similarly awesome?

[Discussion] Are any of the Kik groups still going?
Created: Sat Jul 23 19:23:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ub342/are_any_of_the_kik_groups_still_going/
If so, could someone PM me the relevant username to add?

[Rant/Rave] People love to judge us and they don't know what we go through.
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 19:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ub05c/people_love_to_judge_us_and_they_dont_know_what/
It really astounds me how, people love to tell us "proEd" supporters that we're damaging other people and trying to promote ED life when we've said multiple times how terrible it is. I find it really double-standerd-ish that people can have drug blogs, blogs about shoplifting, and so one but some how were the ones that get the brunt of it. No one I have ever seen on this website or Tumblr has ever said having an ED was a good decision. Its a terrible lonely life, that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Many of the people judging us have never experience an ED, and don't know what life is like. Makes no sense.

[Other] I caught my reflection in a window and loved my collarbones. Bonus tiny thigh gap! It's nice to like what I see sometimes.
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 17:55:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uarqw/i_caught_my_reflection_in_a_window_and_loved_my/

[Rant/Rave] I am the only one at the gym.
/u/crushtheice [5'2" | CW 100 GW 95 | 18.95 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 17:54:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uarjr/i_am_the_only_one_at_the_gym/
Unlike all of the normal people in my apartment complex who are enjoying their Saturday by the pool and having fun, I just finished an hour on the elliptical and am now cooling down for 30 minutes on the bike. Fuck brunch, fuck the 'eating for others' performance I had to do today, and fuck my brain for bringing my exercise purging back with a vengeance.

But hey, at least it's quiet in here :)

[Goal] Oh my god! I didn't think I was capable of having a bridge!!!
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 16:16:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uadrg/oh_my_god_i_didnt_think_i_was_capable_of_having_a/

[Goal] exercise for the day: 13 miles!
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Sat Jul 23 16:11:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uacxa/exercise_for_the_day_13_miles/
well i had my long run in the morning, went 8 miles at 7:10 pace. then in the afternoon went for a 6 mile hike. i feel so tired but so good- i ate more than i usually would though, but definitely have a net calorie count as pretty low!! :)

[Discussion] Calculating weekly deficit?
Created: Sat Jul 23 16:06:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4uac9p/calculating_weekly_deficit/
Hey all! Is there a site or program where I can input my calories for each day of the week along with my weight/tdee and it'll tell me my weekly deficit? I'm finally feeling back in control again (3 weeks purge free) and I'm trying to lay out a solid plan for myself.

[Rant/Rave] "I need to not binge for a month" update: 9 days and I haven't binged!
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1" | CW: 154 | -13 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 15:17:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ua50t/i_need_to_not_binge_for_a_month_update_9_days_and/
Ok so, this is ridiculously huge for me right now. A little background - in my early 20s I spent years in the 130 - 140 lb range. I was chubby but I didn't really have an ED then aside from the occasional binging which was rare enough that I didn't consider it a problem. At 25 I was around 160 and realized that people treated me a lot differently, and since I have social anxiety all I really want is for people to be nice to me, so I started fixating. I ended up losing 40 lbs through severe restriction and was almost hospitalized at my low weight (120) for severe depression. That was 2 years ago and probably 10 different psych medications, most of which made me feel like a bottomless pit of hunger. I gained back all the weight, plus 7 more lbs to my high weight of 167.

So to sum up, the past 2 years of my life have been spent binge-eating almost daily and gaining ~50 lbs. I felt really like it would never be under control. But something clicked. When my urges to binge at night come along, I don't let myself become obsessed anymore. I immediately remind myself of my goals which are right now very simple - to fit into most of my wardrobe again and not just the "oversize" stuff I bought when I was smaller that is snug now. Suddenly I'm realizing that nothing I might binge on WILL EVER taste as good as reaching my goal weight will feel.

I just really needed to get this out I think and I love this community so much <3

[Rant/Rave] I miss being underweight so much
/u/EasyPineapples [5'4 // CW 130 // 22.3 // -4 lbs // F ]
Created: Sat Jul 23 15:17:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ua508/i_miss_being_underweight_so_much/
My lowest weight was 97 pounds at 5'3, and I remember all the comments I used to get about how great I looked by my friends and them asking me what I ate to get there. Then I got hospitalized and went through a small stage of recovery, where I gained over thirty pounds, which is ridiculous and crazy. I logically know a lot of that was muscle because of the amount of exercise I do, but I do not care about being toned or muscular, I just want to be at a small size again. I miss being able to wrap my fingers around my thigh, I miss the ribs sticking out, I miss the small thighs, I miss the protruding collarbones, I even miss being cold all the time, the nausea and the ravenous hunger, hair falling out, even the fainting episodes because that told me that I was definitely losing weight, even unhealthily. I want my small body back and it's so hard because I've been so used to eating like a normal person for a short time and I'm afraid I can't go back to my old ways, even though I desperately desperately want it. I feel like such a failure.

[Rant/Rave] [rant] got invited to eat at an old friend's place.
Created: Sat Jul 23 15:13:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ua4d8/rant_got_invited_to_eat_at_an_old_friends_place/

[Help] Holiday help!
Created: Sat Jul 23 13:36:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u9pfm/holiday_help/
Hello! I'm relatively new here, I've chimed in in a couple of posts, but I'm in need to some support/advice.
I'm going away for a week with family (husband, small children, inlaws) and food is going to be a big problem. I am restricting 500-800 cals a day. I've been recovered for years, but am having a hard time at the moment. I got really big after having my children, so it's not like I'm a tiny waif. I only eat a low fat evening meal with my husband, to avoid suspicion, but being with his mum and dad and the kids is going to be a problem. We have clashed in the past and inlaws think I'm difficult so it's going to be tense anyway, I need this control. Please tell it's going to be ok!

Sorry for formatting, I'm on my mobile!

Edit- I can't spell apparently.

[Rant/Rave] Bittersweet
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 12:32:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u9f8n/bittersweet/
Good news: I am losing most of my weight off my problem areas (bum thighs hips stomach)!

Bad news: I have sized down out of all my jeans and only have one pair I can still sort of wear. It is reasonably fitted around my calves but the upper leg and waist are so baggy I look like I have a saggy mom butt in these. Embarrassing. Need to buy smaller sizes asap but too broke and not at my ugw away...

[Help] I need a bit of reassurance right now.
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 10:11:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8thk/i_need_a_bit_of_reassurance_right_now/
I'm staying one day at the ocean with my family. I told myself I wouldn't count calories beforehand, but I'm just going to listen to my body when I'm hungry. I had two pieces of banana bread for breakfast and I'm not having anything else for a while, but my family is having a potluck tonight. I'm also at a plateau between 121 and 123 right now, so I don't think I can afford to binge. Please remind me that even if I overeat, one day won't make me gain.

[Goal] I'm at the goal weight I set at 15
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Sat Jul 23 10:05:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8skk/im_at_the_goal_weight_i_set_at_15/
So, I've been supervised for most breakfasts and dinners the last few days, and today I hopped on the scale, expecting to be severely disappointed.

Nope. Today I weighed in at 110.

I'm blown away, not because I haven't been here before, but because this was the goal weight I set when I was fifteen and 155 pounds.

I might be on here a little less, because I want to try to maintain this for a while before I start losing again. My family is pretty concerned, and I feel like staying here for a couple months might be good for everyone's sanity.

I'm not small, not by any means. But this is tolerable for now.

(Pinky swear, I'll flair when I'm off mobile!)

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 23, 2016
Created: Sat Jul 23 10:02:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8s2i/daily_food_diary_july_23_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Discussion] bit of a tmi topic but...is anyone here sexually active (yet not at all comfortable with their bodies)? how do you do it?
/u/sunflowerfairy [4'11" | no goal weight; nothing will ever be good enough.]
Created: Sat Jul 23 10:00:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8ru0/bit_of_a_tmi_topic_butis_anyone_here_sexually/
hi all. i'm a teenaged girl here that's currently seeing a few guys right now, all of whom are, well, interested in sex. while i'm also very interested in having sex as well, i despise my body and i'm uncomfortable at the thought of these guys having to see me naked. i want to have sex, i don't want to put it off, but i can't imagine being naked *at all*...having them see my ribs, stomach, thighs, etc. it's kind of a weird, confusing situation, i don't know if these guys are comfortable with my body, but i'm really not. should i just have clothed sex? go somewhere dark? just say "fuck it" and woman up?

thoughts? experiences? advice?

[Help] Going to a pool party/BBQ with the "in laws" who already are worried. Ed worst nightmare? Halp.
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Sat Jul 23 09:54:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8qww/going_to_a_pool_partybbq_with_the_in_laws_who/
I say in-laws because my boyfriend's parents sounds like a mouthful, we've been dating for 6 years ! Where's my ring already!! Ha-ha

Okay onto the subject. As much as I like being told I'm skinny by peers and strangers I find it very uncomfortable when family mentions it. I have become fairly underweight and my bfs mom in particular has been mentioning it with a tsk tsk attitude. I love her ! Don't get me wrong but I feel very small (and not in a good way) when she mentions it.

My bf knows about me ED and is super super supportive of my needs , but I definitely don't want to offend his mother by not eating their BBQ food. (yes there that type of family)

Everyone in their family is super active and skinny so I'm not sure why it's such a large issue.

So any tips on how I can make it seem like I'm eating when I'm hardly at all? I usually just eat veggie burgers but they know I'm not veggitarian. So I definitely could not bring my own burgers. I think I'm going to pick up some sort of side that is hopefully healthy at grocery store for everyone (mostly me). Any tips on this? I find the prepackaged salads are usually pretty high Cal.

On top of that .... The booze. Uhhhh.

Lord help me.

Proed help me.

[Thinspo] About 2 and a half months of progress
/u/thinsignificant [6'0|142lbs|18.51|-32lbs| F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 09:54:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8qup/about_2_and_a_half_months_of_progress/

[Help] There's no way I'm going to gain weight eating 1000 calories a day, right?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Sat Jul 23 09:51:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8qd9/theres_no_way_im_going_to_gain_weight_eating_1000/
I've been restricting heavily the past few weeks which always seems to lead to binges. I decided I'm at a point where I'm fine with losing the rest of my weight slowly, so I want to eat 1000 calories a day. But when I do that, it feels like I'm going to gain weight. I can't explain it, because even though I know that's well below my TDEE, it feels like I'm going to gain.

Anyone else struggle with this?

[Discussion] What's your favourite kind of tea?
/u/Itsemurha [177cm | 71.9kg| 22.43| -47kg | GW: 60kg | F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 08:57:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8itx/whats_your_favourite_kind_of_tea/
I admit, I have developed a small addiction to all kinds of teas and just spent a bunch treating myself to some fancier loose leaf brands. I got [red strawberry tea](http://www.tleaft.co.nz/rooibos-infusions/wicked-red-strawberry-rooibos-tea.html), [red african fire](http://www.tleaft.co.nz/rooibos-infusions/red-african-fire-rooibos-infusion.html), [coconut rough tea](http://www.tleaft.co.nz/rooibos-infusions/coconut-rough-rooibos-infusion.html), [honeybush tea](http://www.tleaft.co.nz/rooibos-infusions/honey-original-herbal-infusion.html), plain red bush tea, peppermint tea and some red clover tea. I am a massive fan of the red african fire tea but wanted to try some new ones too from the brand. So excited to try some new flavours other than regular store bought stuff that I have been relying on lately! +_+

Anyways, I am sure there are other tea fans in this community. What are your faves? I'd love some recommendations! I know that peppermint tea is good for suppressing appetite.. are there any other ones that do the same? Do tell!

[Other] Students with an ED, what are your goals for this coming semester/quarter?
Created: Sat Jul 23 08:56:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8ipw/students_with_an_ed_what_are_your_goals_for_this/
I've been a lurker here for a while now and I saw a post about how everyone is getting ready for school.

My current goals are to get into yoga, get good grades this quarter, and reach my goal weight by Thanksgiving. I also want to drink more water and learn how to eat *well* and maintain a vegan lifestyle once I get to where I want to be. I plan on no dating, just casual flirting here and there because I just want to be cute and thin and smart and independent while in college. What are your goals?

Also I'm new to this sub and I feel like I have the confidence to finally post so hello :)

[Help] I need HELP!!
Created: Sat Jul 23 08:22:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u8e3l/i_need_help/

[Goal] Finally Underweight wooo!!
/u/eldariya [6'3"/190CM | CW:148/67KG | GW: 130/58KG | 17.4 | -118/53KG | M]
Created: Sat Jul 23 07:32:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u87y7/finally_underweight_wooo/
It's been a pretty hard journey in the past year or so after losing a whole bunch of weight and in the past few months i've been pushing through and I'm finally under 18.5 bmi and I'm only 26lbs away from my goal. I want to thank everyone here for everything also thank you for introducing me to pickles lol.

[Rant/Rave] I've lost my appetite
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Sat Jul 23 07:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u84jf/ive_lost_my_appetite/
Normally I'd be thrilled but I feel like death. I haven't hit my calorie minimums for a few days but I've been walking more than usual. If I was at home I think I would feel better but I don't have access to my usual foods which really isn't helping.

I plan to try and eat more today but I just can't seem to bring myself to buy or eat foods because nothing seems like the kinds of foods I want to eat! I have work tomorrow too and my intake needs to be higher for that but I'm scared I won't be able to do it and my legs are already sore as hell and it sucks! I'm only 3.4kg off my GW too and wanting to hit that before end of august is pressuring me to keep not even hit my minimum even though i can stop exercising, eat my maximum and still hit my goal early according to losertown.

What to do :(

[Discussion] Birth control pills
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 04:00:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7nk0/birth_control_pills/
So I'm thinking of going on BC for acne and menstrual pain, but I'm afraid of weight gain. I don't understand how it causes weight gain (metabolism, increased appetite?), but I'm wondering what your experiences are. I've heard good things and bad things. I've previously posted to the contraceptive sub about this but I'm wanting a pov from this sub too :)

edit: Thank you everyone for your responses, they were really helpful. I've mostly heard negative things about the pill (elsewhere) even though it sounds too good to be true (weakened period symptoms? improved acne?). And it was recommended by my doctor so I think I'm going to choose it over implanon.

[Discussion] What's your motivation today?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 96.3 | 17.53 | -18]
Created: Sat Jul 23 03:42:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7lzs/whats_your_motivation_today/
Mine is that I've only purged twice in the last 24 hours (this is huge for me), I've discovered a new safe food that doesn't make me crazy (broccoli and cauliflower nuked in a giant mug with chicken broth and a wedge of Laughing Cow white cheddar - ghetto 5 minute 50 calorie broccoli cheddar soup!), and I'm thisclose to breaking an 8 minute mile split in a 5 mile run. Full of hope and determination today - what's yours?

[Other] UK people - do you have lovely weather today too? :)
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 23 03:27:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7kko/uk_people_do_you_have_lovely_weather_today_too/
It's gorgeous here, it's really upped my mood!

How about a nice walk today? I'm going to put on a pretty summer dress and walk around the park.

Treat yourself, love yourself, and enjoy :)

Just wanted to send some love (and to non-UK people too!) <3

[Rant/Rave] i need to clear my head
Created: Sat Jul 23 02:37:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7g68/i_need_to_clear_my_head/

[Rant/Rave] The temptation and struggle is unreal
Created: Sat Jul 23 01:44:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7bdc/the_temptation_and_struggle_is_unreal/

[Discussion] Carbs vs Calories
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 23 00:42:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u7540/carbs_vs_calories/
First off, I just bought a scale to face my fear of knowing how much I weight and I found out I lost 5lbs from last week. Today I binged on spinach chips, two pieces of grass-fed jerky, a Kit Kat and Amy's Mexican Casserole and could of swore I had gain more weight, even water weight. But I'm on track of losing at least 5lbs every week until school starts :) I'm pushing myself to loose 1-2lbs a day next week. Lots of running, less eating, and good thinking :)

ANYWAYS back to my discussion.

This week I looked at my calorie intake and carb intake. I took in less than 5 carbs this week (except for today lol). I am on a keto diet, but it's very lenient. I'll eat 45 cal bread once a week for the grains, but grains are so high in carbs.

What contradicts a keto, fat-burning diet with an ED is that low calorie foods (especially those like veggie burgers or vegan alternatives) are high in carbs. And those that are low in carbs (like salami, jerky, etc) are super high in calories (100+).

This only leaves me with the option of spinach, which is low in carbs and low in calories, but I could imagine getting bored of it quickly. Or not eating of course.

**So is it calorie intake or carb intake that's more important to you?**

[Rant/Rave] "you've been eating all day!"
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Fri Jul 22 22:46:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6ss9/youve_been_eating_all_day/
I ate 650kcal. What the fuck did I do to make them (family) think that I've been "eating all day?" SIX HUNDRED FIFTY CALORIES IS TOO MUCH?! REALLY?! I'm 6'2" and it's pretty significant restriction for me, at least validate my hunger lmao.

[Other] A study on the brains of people with a history of anoriexia
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 21:44:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6ll8/a_study_on_the_brains_of_people_with_a_history_of/

[Rant/Rave] Professor told me I "look" like I liked pizza. Sorry for the rant.
Created: Fri Jul 22 21:41:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6las/professor_told_me_i_look_like_i_liked_pizza_sorry/

[Other] I thought this tweet from Jenny Holzer was pretty funny :)
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 21:26:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6jfx/i_thought_this_tweet_from_jenny_holzer_was_pretty/

[Other] A poetic reminder
Created: Fri Jul 22 21:14:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u6hx2/a_poetic_reminder/

[Goal] Day 3 of getting ready for dance: Down nearly 3 pounds!
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 20:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u69k9/day_3_of_getting_ready_for_dance_down_nearly_3/
Thanks everyone for helping me stay on track through the Great Pizza Incident of yesterday. I'm already down almost three pounds! Hopefully I can keep this up. So far restricting high (800-1000) and then keeping up with exercising and dancing has been working, so I don't think I'll cut more unless I start to plateau.

[Help] I feel disgusting
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 20:09:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u690v/i_feel_disgusting/
I am losing so slowly. I'm eating so close to my tdee. Every time I do, I feel like a failure. My tdee is 1650, and my goal os 1400. So my tdee isn't that much more. But I'm still not reaching my *goal*. I want to fast. But I'm afraid I'll binge. So many foods feel unsafe. I'm just an anxious mess right now.

[Help] Eating help apps?
/u/OperatingOnScientist [5'3 | 137lbs | 24.94 | F | UGW 110lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 22 20:03:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u68bm/eating_help_apps/
I'm trying to lose a good 20lbs but myfitnesspal gets angry with me if I eat less than 1000 kcal per day. Are there any apps that will help me stay motivated into not eating as much when MFP tells me that I need to eat more?

[Goal] UGW reached?
/u/sassypinkdragon [174cm | 49.8 kg | 16.5 | 20 F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 19:21:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u62n2/ugw_reached/
So today after a few weeks of high restricting and getting almost no where, I finally hit my UGW. http://imgur.com/a/RsVAd

And as for what next...what do you guys think of my plan? My goal was to get to 50 before my europe vacation next week, then eat fairly normally there, and return to my high restriction plan to slowly lose the weight I gain back down to 50. It's all looking up from here, I guess I just wanna see how my intuitive eating goes while in Europe. Fingers crossed! I really shouldn't go below 50 kg, my family is beginning to worry a lot and I feel sick so I'm ok with gaining a bit and then losing it slowly. After all, this is the weight I want to maintain for life.

[Help] Fasting tomorrow- what to do with free time?
/u/not_an_actual_egg [5'3" | 126lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 19:01:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5zvl/fasting_tomorrow_what_to_do_with_free_time/
Good god with all the food and carbs and bluch I've been eating I've ballooned with waterweight and probably actual weight :/ And I feel absolutely terrible, both physically and mentally. So I'm gonna be fasting tomorrow (at the least), and ideally for as long as I can stand after that, and probably longer haha. But my main problem with sticking to a fast is boredom. I usually go for walks or to a friends house, but all nearby friends are out of town and it's too hot to walk! I love crafts, and I was thinking about making something tomorrow, but I dont know what :( What do you guys do when you're bored on a fast?

[Other] ED got my dinner all like..
/u/esiwirartnoC [5'3| 128 | 22.7| -25 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 18:31:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5vix/ed_got_my_dinner_all_like/

[Discussion] Who else hates dating
Created: Fri Jul 22 18:19:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5ts9/who_else_hates_dating/

[Help] Hallucinations?
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Fri Jul 22 17:48:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5pdy/hallucinations/
I feel like a total freak for even making this post right now lmao

Sooooo, uh. The past month or so, I've been restricting to anywhere between 400-800 calories, with the occasional slip up day where I eat over 1000. And I keep seeing things. I was just in the shower and I swear I saw someone standing behind me but when I turned around, there was no one there. Scared the absolute shit out of me. And the other night when I was trying to fall asleep, I swear I heard a voice. It wasn't really saying anything (not that I could understand, anyway) but my window was closed and I know it wasn't a neighbor.

There's just been a lot of stuff like that. Like, I'll see shadows and stuff that I know can't be there, but I still see them? I don't know how to describe it.

Someone please tell me they've experienced something similar so I know I'm not completely losing my mind.

edit: a couple words

[Rant/Rave] Impatient
/u/at_select_stores_46 [5'2" | 132 lbs| 23 | -8 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 17:37:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5nn6/impatient/
I'm so impatient! I just want to lose weight immediately. I've been doing a very low calorie diet for the past two weeks and my weight has been fluctuating :(

I'm so impressed with everyone's weight loss, your successes is inspiring but I feel like I'm too impatient to get the same success for myself.

[Rant/Rave] Went out drinking and fit the first time I didn't get drunk food!
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 17:04:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5iqp/went_out_drinking_and_fit_the_first_time_i_didnt/
Usually when I go out with friends we get shawarma but tonight we didn't. So, because I've associated drinking with eating, I was on my way into 7-11 when I stopped and evaluated if i was actually hungry or if I just wanted to eat for the sake of eating. Decided it was the latter, hopped back on my bike and went home. I probably should eat something to sop up the alcohol but it's either carrots or the open bag of chips and honestly neither one sounds good. So I'm just going to go to bed. :) Small steps!

Cheers to my hangover tomorrow!

Progress after a stumble
Created: Fri Jul 22 16:52:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5gys/progress_after_a_stumble/

[Goal] 43 Hours Into a Fast
/u/FasterFasting [5' 6" | 168 | BMI | M]
Created: Fri Jul 22 16:11:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u5amh/43_hours_into_a_fast/
That's pretty much it. Just posting here to remind myself that there's really no reason to break it today. Or over the weekend for that matter, not like I have plans to get drinks or dinner with anyone. I'll probably still feel like a piece of shit Monday morning, but hopefully a smaller piece of shit at least.

[Help] I spend all day with little kids. Help?
/u/slumberous [5'7" | CW 141 GW 125 | 22.01 | -- | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 15:57:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u585w/i_spend_all_day_with_little_kids_help/
Hey guys. I'm a lurker just now working up the courage to post. You all seem so wonderful so I'm really hoping you can give me some ideas!

I'm a nanny. 63 hours a week. And it is killing me. I'm going to grad school out of state in 3 weeks and have no free time during business hours to prep for this huge move. The kids are lovely and sweet half the time, but the other half they are screaming monsters. The stress is way too much for me. I wanted to lose some weight before I went, since I've ballooned up 10 pounds this past year, but I've been stress-bingeing. I've had BED and bulimic patterns my whole life but am desperately trying to restrict instead. 

So, question. How can I keep my appetite under control when I'm around toddlers literally all day? The last two days I restricted just fine, but today I broke and ate a lot of shitty sugary kid food (the only stuff readily available during the day to me). Vaping helps, but I can't do that around the kids or while they're napping because moms pop in and out of the house all the time. I'm barely sleeping and emotionally exhausted which makes it so hard not to binge. I can't chug water and caffeine all day because I only get a few chances to use the bathroom. 

Any ideas at all would be appreciated!! I haven't been this big since high school and I wanted to feel pretty and in control of my life when I started grad school. Instead I'm just bloated and pathetic and useless. 

[Tip] Review: FiberOne Bran Cereal
/u/throwaway-soph [5'5" | 103.6 | 17.44 | Depends | Female]
Created: Fri Jul 22 15:17:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u51lm/review_fiberone_bran_cereal/
So, I have totally no control when it comes to cereal, and usually don't keep it in the house because I can eat a whole box in a day, easy. However, this week I bought a box of FiberOne Bran Cereal and let me tell you, it is seriously the perfect food.


1. 120 cals per cup, and each cup is very dense. No sugar because the sweetener is artificial. Also comes in two sleeves not one so you can see how much you ate much better. Protects you from binging, and if you do binge, you still didn't eat too many calories and can see exactly how much you ate.

2. If you lose control and eat 3 cups at once, dry, like I did two days ago, you will not be hungry for the rest of the day, and will wake up the next morning and shit out literally everything in your body. Delicious, filling, and an effective laxative! It may need to also be combined with the liter of Coke Zero I drank with it to get the full effect, but further studies are needed.

3. If you eat about a cup of it and then take a long walk in the heat, you will find yourself so bloated that two hours later, when you need to go out to dinner with friends, you will have literally no appetite and will have to force yourself to eat, despite eating almost nothing earlier in the day.


1. If you did not plan or expect to shit out everything in your body you will be a bit freaked out.

2. Bad snack choice if you need to go and be social soon after eating, due to bloating.

3. Super delicious so I still find myself eating a lot of it (but it does negate itself in the morning as previously described).


I give this cereal 9/10. If you're going to eat a cereal, it might as well be a powerful laxative. Plus its delicious eaten like a regular person, in a bowl with unsweetened vanilla almond milk. Would buy again.

EDIT/UPDATE: Same effects today! I think eating it and then drinking carbonated soda helps increase the effects. I was so full all day.

[Help] 3 week plateau on net 800 cals a day HELP :(
Created: Fri Jul 22 15:04:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4zb2/3_week_plateau_on_net_800_cals_a_day_help/

[Help] Stress of weight gain triggering binges. WTF am I supposed to do??
Created: Fri Jul 22 15:00:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4yru/stress_of_weight_gain_triggering_binges_wtf_am_i/
I was chugging along so well restricting between 700 and 1000 and lost 35 lbs. Then it felt like something snapped. I haven't been able to control my intake for the last two months and I'm bingeng almost everyday. Im up 15lbs, it's a nightmare. But everyday I try to get back on track I end up feeling anxious about fucking up and thinking about how fat I'm getting and my response is to just binge?! Wtf kind of a reaction is that?! I don't know what to do, everyday is a failure and I want to cry.

[Discussion] [Discussion] What is your guyses idea of a stress-free "perfect" birthday?
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Fri Jul 22 14:36:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4unp/discussion_what_is_your_guyses_idea_of_a/
My birthday is in about a week and I just know my family loves an excuse to go ham at the buffet. I don't even want to think about food on my birthday. I'd rather just go shopping for clothes (All my clothes is ugly and faded and I don't really care but I HAVE to keep up appearances)

[Discussion] Do diet pills work?
/u/lovelybones98 [5'2 | 115 | 21 | 6lbs | F ]
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:52:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4mzv/do_diet_pills_work/
I've heard that they don't? Is this true? Or are there certain brands of diet pills that actually do work? What is your experience with diet pills?

[Intro] [Intro] Just gave birth - trying to get back to my old weight! Any other moms here?
/u/WhatShouldIWearToday [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 | -7 (Post Pregnancy) | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:30:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4j76/intro_just_gave_birth_trying_to_get_back_to_my/

ignorance x2
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:30:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4j5x/ignorance_x2/

[Tip] Its hot out there today. Maybe take a break?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:29:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4j2c/its_hot_out_there_today_maybe_take_a_break/
I know we all love working out, and hot weather is prime time to burn extra calories but its 90+ degrees Fahrenheit where I am and all across the US right now, were in a heat wave!
So if you're gonna work out outside keep lots of water and stay close to home. Or if you're inside, try and stay under the air or keep cool. I can not count how many times, I've underestimated the heat and nearly passed out outside.

Also this heat wave is going to continue for a while so keep plenty of cool drinks in the fridge/freezer.

Stay safe everyone!

[Help] A question from my ladies that "lost" their periods..
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:17:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4gva/a_question_from_my_ladies_that_lost_their_periods/
How long into your ED did it take for your period to disappear? I've had disordered eating for a while but only in this past month have I started to restrict my calories very heavily besides binge drinking almost every night. I've been PMSing for over a week, started to bleed a tiny bit finally but then it just up and left and I don't have my period anymore. I'm wondering if this is a symptom of early pregnancy (boyfriend and I have been trying to conceive for about two years now) or if I just fucked up my period by letting my eating habits get much worse very quickly. A little extra info in case it's relevant- my intake varies day to day but for food it's usually under 500-600 cals unless I have dinner at my moms, and normally for me a regular period is a week of cramping, then a week of bleeding afterwords with mild cramping. Any replies would be awesome! Thanks!

[Help] Mid-cycle bleeding, anyone else??
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 143 | 19.67| -25| F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 13:01:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4dwx/midcycle_bleeding_anyone_else/
I've heard of people with ED's skipping periods alltogether but never mid-cycle bleeding.

This has happened about 2 times in the last 4 months and Im getting worried. Basically in the middle of my cycle I'll bleed lightly for a day or two, then be fine, then have my regular period.

Not on birth control, or any unussual stress.

what gives? Am I not ovulating and therefore bleeding due to low homormones? Is it just shitty nutrition?

Im not even underweight T.T

Please tell me Im not alone :S

[Discussion] Sleeping while fasting
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:55:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4ct3/sleeping_while_fasting/
So I successfully completed my 24hr fast yesterday and would have continued to 36 but I could not sleep despite haven taken a sleeping pill!

How to combat this?

[Help] Losing like .2-.6 lbs a day? Not actually looking any different at all?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:45:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u4b1c/losing_like_26_lbs_a_day_not_actually_looking_any/
I'm losing weight like crazy. Obviously my diet is restricted. Im eating 800 or less calories per day, but it seems too good to be true.

I've lost 3 pounds in 6 days. That seems crazy to me... plus I'm on my period and haven't pooped in a week so???

I realize I'm tall so my BMR is a little higher than the average woman, but still what the fuck

I feel like I'm kidding myself and the scale if going to skyrocket one day because it's been wrong this whole time. I don't look thinner, even though I've lost 10 pounds this month (probably should have been more but binging is a real problem). My thighs are barely touching now, but they don't look smaller? Is this body dysmorphia?

[Discussion] Anybody eat baby food? I'm thinking about ordering some but feel like an EXTRA weirdo.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:24:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u477h/anybody_eat_baby_food_im_thinking_about_ordering/
Please don't judge haha

Anybody eat baby food? I like that it's small portions and really simple ingredients (for the stuff I'm looking at)

If anyone does, what do you eat?

[Rant/Rave] so I've developed a soy allergy...
/u/likeits2013 [5'8"| 130 lbs | 19.8 BMI | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:19:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u46a1/so_ive_developed_a_soy_allergy/
... and I'm honestly stoked about it. Soy is in almost everything I currently eat (vegan), so restricting is going to be soooo much easier. If I ever get a craving for chips, cookies, boca burgers, literally anything with soy in it, I'll remember breaking out in painful hives and my throat being so sore I can't swallow water. Until I can afford to invest in soy-free replacement foods, it's just fruits and vegetables for me :)

[Discussion] DAE Feel more comfortable having 'just in case' food around (eg energy bars in purse) even though you know you won't touch it?
/u/blondesalamander [159cm | CW 43kg | BMI 17.5 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:15:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u45j2/dae_feel_more_comfortable_having_just_in_case/
I guess this started as a result of almost passing out and scary low blood sugar moments, I feel genuinely stressed at the thought of not having something 'just in case', especially when restricting. It must look weird to anyone who sees, there's things like Clif Chews in pretty much all my purses, pretty sure some are out of date now anyway.

Anyone have a habit like this?

[Thinspo] Petite jcktrend bikini model thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 12:10:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u44nj/petite_jcktrend_bikini_model_thinspo/

[Help] Poooooooooop, please!
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:57:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u42c1/poooooooooop_please/
I know that someone complains about their non-compliant bowels every other day on here, but I can't help but complain about my backed up body. It's been four days and my abdomen is a gurgling war zone that gas barely escapes. The pressure and discomfort woke me up last night, it was so intense.

I use laxatives once a week as it is, because there is no way I can let my constipation go further than a week. My go-to's aren't as reliable as I'm down to 5-800 calories a day. Salt water just has been making me nauseated, and enemas only get so much moving. I would really like to do something to stimulate and strengthen my large intestine into being less sluggish long-term. I drink at the very least 64 oz water daily, and my diet is mainly plant-based with 1-3 servings of protein (diced chicken breast, avocado half, two eggs, tuna).

What do you all eat/drink/take to poop? I can't believe how miserable I feel right now. I have to work today, so you better believe I'm going to resort to an enema. But FFS I want to get better.

[Goal] I'm only at 5k steps and you know what
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:46:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u408b/im_only_at_5k_steps_and_you_know_what/

[Rant/Rave] What a week
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:41:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3zfx/what_a_week/
Hey y'all, sorry for being MIA this past week, my sister came into town for the first time in months, do I wanted to spend the most of my time with her. However that meant going out to eat almost every meal, hating myself for the past couple days and hiding from this sub out of shame.

I also moved and forgot to bring over my scale to the new place and haven't weighed myself in over a week. -_- Not that I would actually be happy with what I would probably see...

I guess this all goes to show that, yes, I am still alive and, yes, I am probably back at square one. Brb after I cry for the rest of the day.

[Discussion] Can I know if I'll ever be a size 0?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:35:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3y6r/can_i_know_if_ill_ever_be_a_size_0/
Or even a size 2. I'm around a size 6 right now. My stats are accurate. I'm a small at places like Walmart, where 6 is a small. But, at places that actually sell clothes as their main thing, I'm a medium. It just makes me feel not skinny *enough*. I guess that's a hallmark feeling of an ED... I just feel shitty that I'm anorexic and not a size 2 or whatever. And like, I don't know if I'll ever be that small. I have a large rib cage, so I can only shrink so much. I don't know. I won't feel skinny until I'm model proportions. Can I know if I'll ever be a certain size?

[Tip] [Tip] Article from Thrive Market - "Too Much Dessert? Overdid it on Dairy? Here’s What to Eat to Feel Better ASAP"
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:34:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3y27/tip_article_from_thrive_market_too_much_dessert/

[Help] My ideal body is such a moving target
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:30:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3x98/my_ideal_body_is_such_a_moving_target/
There was a time where I would've killed to look like [Jennifer Lawrence](http://imgur.com/SA0oU3d) but now I look at that picture, and I think she could lose a few.

Then she did and there was a time I would've killed to look like her [here](http://imgur.com/8btPs2a).

But I look at her arms and her lack of collarbone definition and it's not enough.

There was even a time after that when [Black Swan era Natalie Portman](http://imgur.com/ekBLRLk) was goals af.

But once again, it's not enough, now [Kimiperi](http://imgur.com/VWoQOgr) (shoutout to /u/Noroeste for the thinspo) is my goal. She's my height and thinner than I could ever be, but my God if I wouldn't kill to look like her.

How does anyone handle the moving target? Will anything ever be enough?

[Tip] Article from Thrive Market - "Too Much Dessert? Overdid it on Dairy? Here’s What to Eat to Feel Better ASAP"
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:29:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3x81/tip_article_from_thrive_market_too_much_dessert/

[Discussion] How do you all feel about diet drinks?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:05:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3sxs/how_do_you_all_feel_about_diet_drinks/
I love my Diet Coke. Love it. It kills junk food cravings, the bubbles feel awesome on my tongue, it keeps my mouth occupied, and it's 0cal (my favourite phrase)

My boyfriend, however, thinks aspartame is the devil. He won't drink it, eat it, anything.

We don't even live together and he's already banned it from our future mutual house that we have no plans for anytime soon.

I'm curious what everyone here thinks of diet drinks, sweetened with stevia, aspartame, Splenda, whatever.

I kind of see what people mean about it not filling you up and your body is still hungry, but hey, we're all restricting here anyway, so

What do you guys think?

[Rant/Rave] Dear body, you have fat. Burn that and stop bitching.
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:03:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3sl2/dear_body_you_have_fat_burn_that_and_stop_bitching/
On mobile, so no flair right now.
That's really a feature Reddit should add to their app at some point.

Fucking seriously though. I am made almost completely of fat and my body thinks it's entitled to food and wants to try and punish me for not shoveling junk into it. Guess what, fatass, food is totally optional at this point. You had 80 calories of oatmeal this morning, and then is more than enough to get you through today. Way more than enough.

I'm extra pissed because I was trying to do another two hour run in the gym today and only got through 30 minutes before I started seeing spots and now I'm all gross and clammy. I felt so accomplished yesterday for being able to get to an hour and 40 minutes without feeling too bad. And I was able to fast literally all day yesterday and I only had like 200 calories the day before. Now I'm stuck feeling like a fucking failure walking on the treadmill. I'm going to make myself walk on here for at least three hours to make up for it. And because I'm such a massive failure I don't get to have anything tonight when I go out with my friend. We were gonna go grab dinner and drinks, but since my fatass can't keep up with my workout routine that is right out the fucking window.

Ugh. The self loathing is real right now.

[Help] Honestly, i just need to be told that it's going to be alright
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 11:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3shv/honestly_i_just_need_to_be_told_that_its_going_to/
So I'm in a career specific intense course. It's ending today, but for the past month, ive spent my Monday-Friday from 9am-5pm with the same group of 10 people. I dont eat during the time that they see me. Except one of them started bringing in snacks. And im awful around snacks. So then the jokes started up because i work out and look skinnier than i actually weigh. All the 'wow, you really eat', 'you can put away so much food!'.

And i hate it, and myself and them. And today is the party. I almost finished a family sized bag of chips. I didnt open them, someone else did, and they set them by me. Then the party planner came back and was mad that they had been opened early (not like we dont have 4lb of ice cream, 4 other bags of chips, pizza and chocolates). And i was really stressed cause i had eaten so much and there was some drama. So i quietly took off (during lunch break) And of course i went to the gas station and had 700 calories worth of shit food. Fuck me im just sitting in my car outside the building crying. Im so upset at myself. I weighed back in at 147 today, which is my terror weight. And im so exhausted. I went to bed at 3am last night cause i exercise purged for 5hrs/1100 calories. And i feel like such a fat failure. The official party hasnt even begun, i just want to go home :(

Tl;dr today is a shit day and i need to be thrown away along with it

[Discussion] weird fixations you have on certain features?
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:52:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3qc6/weird_fixations_you_have_on_certain_features/
for years now i've been obsessed with having a very sharp jawline, skinny fingers and very skinny/prominent ankle bones?? does anyone else have anything weird like this?

[Rant/Rave] Feeling so scattered right now, don't have the willpower to end this plateau
/u/glipglopsfromthe3rdD [5'1" | 109 | 21.51 | female]
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:16:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3jvb/feeling_so_scattered_right_now_dont_have_the/
Where do I start? I haven't stuck to my 1200 goal all this week, I binged so bad yesterday that I wanted to purge it all up, I still have half the ice cream that I brought (and the crackers, and chips, and cookies, and oh my god I need to get rid of this food.)

I am constantly switching back and forth between my goals and what I'm wiling to do to reach them. Do I want to lose more weight? Well, sometimes I really want to accept myself and end this focus on my weight. I mean, 15 pounds ago I thought I'd like myself if I lost 10 pounds and it seems that I'm just as insecure as ever. Meanwhile, the 1200 goal I used to be so fucking good at sticking to is like, completely impossible these days.

Then there's my food goals. Okay, so I decide I'll let myself have my 1200, and I won't give in to the urge to fast.... but then I go over my goal and decide "fuck it, binge time." So I go waaaaay over, and the next day I decide "I'm going to fast." But soon enough, I change my mind, decide to allow myself 1200, go over the goal..... the cycle repeats itself.

I dislike excessive negative self-talk, but goddamn I hate myself so much. Last night I binged on Taco Bell before I finished my binge with crackers, ice cream, and those oreo thins (4 of them is 130 calories which is cool unless you eat like 400 of them like I did.) Worst part is the Taco Bell was moving so slowly I sat in line for like 45 minutes in my car, just thinking "You can turn around at any point and end this," but I didn't.....

If you skipped all that garbage I have a few questions: DAE constantly switch between wanting to accept yourself at your current weight and wanting to lose more? Also, DAE struggle with not eating at night? I can fast all day long but once it's dark it's like a switch has flipped... I googled "night eating syndrome" and I'm terribly worried that I show signs of it....

Ugh whatever sorry this is so.... scattered and stupid. But who the fuck else could I talk to about all this?

Also congrats glipglops, you were so fucking close to your mini-goal of 105 and you've landed yourself back at 109......

[Rant/Rave] My friend is trying to save me with fat logic
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:11:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3j1k/my_friend_is_trying_to_save_me_with_fat_logic/
I was complaining about peanut butter being so high calorie and she says, "its not calories that make you fat, its sodium and sugars and stuff" and I told her that youre not gonna lose weight on 3000 calories a day. And she said "you can if you do daily workouts and stuff" (imagine?) and "you dont need to worry about calories if you have a healthy diet." So i say, "youll lose weight on 200 calories of chocolate just like youll gain it on 3000 calories of carrots." To which she replies, "Carrots and chocolate both have nutritional value tho."

What? What does that even mean? Then she sent me a long "you have an ed blah blah blah" text. Like, thanks for the concern, but you dont even know what youre talking about.

[Help] Living with normal people
/u/Echolaura [5'11"| 142.6| 19.25| -22| F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:08:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3if6/living_with_normal_people/
Living with normal people is so hard. I just moved to a new city and am crashing with my brother for a bit and he's always been very thin. I was the fat one growing up and my dad always joked about him being an extra in a holocaust movie (super mean but dad can be pretty thoughtless.)

Being with him is a great motivation to keep losing since I HATED being thicker than him (and he's 6'3"!!) but now I'm seeing how he's always been thin. He doesn't have any compulsion to eat! When I got here, all he had for food was pizza and brownies and bags of candy. **Seriously.** He just has one piece of candy and goes along on his day while I'm sitting here deeply regretting binging on them last night AND still holding myself back from binging again!

I dream of the day when I'll be free of this addiction. When I can have bad foods in the house without constantly thinking about them. The willpower to have one oreo and move on.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I don't want to be the fatso roommate constantly holding myself back from stealing food :(

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 22, 2016
Created: Fri Jul 22 10:02:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u3hc6/daily_food_diary_july_22_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Other] This is what disordered eating thoughts look like. (Second image goes first, sorry it uploaded all weird >.<)
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:59:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u35v3/this_is_what_disordered_eating_thoughts_look_like/

[Thinspo] Fashion illustration is my favorite kind of thinspo.
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:56:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u35eu/fashion_illustration_is_my_favorite_kind_of/

[Help] Can someone please help ease my worry?
/u/BerenicesTeeth [5'10" | 125 | 17.49 | F | message me ur good kpop music]
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:55:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u35as/can_someone_please_help_ease_my_worry/
This is undoubtedly super illogical, but I'm not in a good mindset at the moment...

I am up one pound from yesterday and I have no idea why. I had maybe 300cal; at 8:30pm, I ate out with my boyfriend, and I had broccoli, carrots, and shrimp cooked in a soy sauce base. The 300cal is surely an overestimation. I also made sure to stay hydrated throughout the day.

Naturally, I weighed myself this morning and absolutely freaked out, so I binged on some ice cream, as it is the easiest thing to purge. I also had a BM. I purged all of it-- I'm sure I did-- and my weight stayed the same. Why on *earth* am I up a pound? Could it be the sodium in the soy sauce base? I don't eat hardly any of the very thin sauce it comes in, so I just don't understand. Help?

[Goal] hell week: I'm gonna make it
/u/feli0n [5'6"|109|17.66|-27|F??]
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:39:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u32ep/hell_week_im_gonna_make_it/
Okay, so. This Sunday-Saturday was supposed to be my hardcore fall-apart week. My family was going to go away on vacation and leave me home so I could keep working.

Unfortunately, plans have changed, and I'm not trusted to be alone for that period of time. It's go with them or get out, and I can't swing that financially right now. I'm back on monitored meals all the time, and I'm really hoping to just maintain this coming week. I'm expecting some food/water retention and bloating, so I'm going to take some proactive steps.

Being under a watchful eye this whole week might be good for me. I won't be able to b/p, or even purge, most likely. I can normalize my eating and hydration, and I know I'll be active (lots of walking, biking, and swimming!).

Goals for this week:
* 2L water every day
* eat my BMR or below
* no purging!
* bike, swim, or walk for at least an hour a day
* smoke less (over a pack a day omg this needs to stop)
* get a tan (because why not?)

I'm not going to see this as enforced strictures; I'm going to see it as an opportunity to somewhat normalize my food and eating, especially with regards to purging and my b/p habits, and hopefully regain some of my family's trust. I know that if I play along when I go, I'll hopefully have more freedom in the coming weeks.

Cheers to a new week, and (hopefully) to some marginally healthier weight loss!

[Tip] Pumpkin pie oatmeal
/u/icantstopmeloning [5'5" | ~100lbs | 17.1 | ~-40 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 08:13:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2y22/pumpkin_pie_oatmeal/
Just thought of this one last night so I made it this morning and it was SO TASTY and only like 135 calories.

Instant oatmeal (quaker oats - plain, 100cal)
1/3 pumpkin puree (30 cal)
Stevia (0 cal)
Cinnamon (sprinkle)
Nutmeg (sprinkle)

The pumpkin puree really beefs up your oatmeal, giving you a bigger quantity for few added calories. Seriously tastes so good - going to enjoy this one this autumn. Tasted like pumpkin pie - and the puree is surprisingly yummy on its own. You could add nuts or almonds for protein... Or pumpkin seeds :D

Also, making the oatmeal with unsweetened almond milk instead of water would probably make it even creamier, and even better! Something to definitely try!

Hope some of you try this out and enjoy it as much as I did. Delish!

[Tip] Brownies for 45cal? I'm hoping these are real :3 And does anyone know if this site ships to the states?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 22 07:50:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2u96/brownies_for_45cal_im_hoping_these_are_real_3_and/

[Rant/Rave] I think I'm going back to swimming on Monday
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Fri Jul 22 07:35:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2rz4/i_think_im_going_back_to_swimming_on_monday/
So, I've swum my whole entire life. Twice a week for the last 5 or so years. I was never top-level good, but I went ok. And then I got into yr 12 and it fucked me up tbh, and I would come home and cry at the thought of swimming bc I was so exhausted and I just couldn't make my head get excited about it and it was making me hate something that I had loved for years, so I quit. This was over a year ago now, and I have pretty much been sedentary since. I had/ have pretty much become everything I hate: Hideously unfit, and I don't feel like my body can do the things I want it to anymore. But even feeling like that, The thought of swimming again filled me with dread bc I connected it to that shitty part of my life still, even though it was over.

But for the past couple of months, I've been coming around to the idea of going back. Yeah, I know that I won't be able to swim nearly as well as I used to, but that will come with time and commitment again. I've been having dreams about being back in the pool, and I really freaking miss it. So this Monday I think I'm getting back into it! Yeah, I'll suck, and yeah, I may not be able to haul myself out of the pool at the end with these weak-ass arms and yeah, I'll probably be upset that I am going to be at a level of endurance that is more suited to a toddler, but better now than in another 6 months right??

Anyway, this was really long and winded, but I think this will be good for me? Ty for listening xx

[Rant/Rave] How do you all make it through the day?
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 07:00:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2mqj/how_do_you_all_make_it_through_the_day/
Hey everyone. This might be a bit of a ranty post, I'm sorry :(

I was just wondering how everyone makes it through the day while working/going to school/caring for kids/etc while restricting? It's 7:45 am here, I've been at work an hour and I need to stay til almost 6 tonight (my Fridays suck). Plus I have two hours of commute every day. I'm consistently exhausted and often fall asleep while driving to and from work, and when I get home I have no energy for anything so my place is a mess and my cats are mad at me because I'm a horrible cat mom. I want to not eat, I want to go to the gym and go for walks, but I feel like my ED is a second full time job. I don't have time for life anymore, I really want to quit my job so I can just take care of myself but I know that's not possible. Obviously I'm a bit distracted at work since I'm posting on here. Side rant, my boyfriend and I are having a difficult time because I've been so emotional lately (thanks hormones), so that may be part of why I'm feeling so down.

I really just want to cry and disappear. And suggestions for feeling overwhelmed with the intersection of life and worsening ED and depression? Anything to keep me from having a mental breakdown and quitting my job.

[Rant/Rave] Unexpected fasts are best fasts :)
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Fri Jul 22 06:46:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2krl/unexpected_fasts_are_best_fasts/
I made myself one of my favorite high-cal day meals today for breakfast, which is a whole wheat thin pita (100cal), 5 oz light tuna (50cal), half cup corn (60cal), and two tbps mayo (180cal).

However, instead of light tuna, I put in salmon. It tasted horrible and smelled so bad that all of the excitement of eating my favorite meal completely disappeared. I wasn't hungry for the rest of the day and even the idea of food turned me off as soon as I thought about the nasty salmon smell. I just had water, some incredible oolong tea, and peach tea popsicles (for those that have never tried it, peach tea Mio flavored water makes some amazing 0-cal popsicles). My stomach is so empty :) I feel great. Thank you bad-smelling salmon!!!

[Discussion] My mood 100% revolves around my weight.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 22 06:39:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2juk/my_mood_100_revolves_around_my_weight/
So, after my Sunday-Tuesday binge cycle, I ballooned from 108-112 pounds. During this time, it was sweat pants, messy bun, and no makeup for me. Even for my work.. and I'm in an office lol

Sooo, I weigh myself this morning after two fast days, and back to 108. Guess who does their hair and makeup, and dresses up?

It's just weird, because it's not like anyone else can tell the 3ish pound difference. I know that, logically.

But it just makes me feel like such shit when I'm not where I expect I need to be, that I can barely function.

Anybody else have similar feelings?

[Goal] Accomplishment of the week
Created: Fri Jul 22 06:15:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2gmx/accomplishment_of_the_week/

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! July 22, 2016
Created: Fri Jul 22 06:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u2f4u/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_july_22_2016/
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for July 22, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!


1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Thinspo] K-Pop is best thinspo - 4Minute
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 05:07:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u28nh/kpop_is_best_thinspo_4minute/

[Rant/Rave] Okay, fuck. I relent, I'm going to have to get a control on my planned Sunday night binges. NOOOOO!
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 22 04:29:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u24th/okay_fuck_i_relent_im_going_to_have_to_get_a/
Sorry, huge rant :'(

It worked an absolute treat when my TDEE was higher, especially when I didn't go to the gym and so could fast/restrict more during the week. I felt I had found the greatest trick ever - and heck, it really did work and the weight dropped off, so I guess I had.. for back then.

But no more. My TDEE is too low, I can't restrict enough during the week to cover it anymore.

Had my official monthly weigh in at the gym today. My PT is very pleased, as I have put on 3lbs in the past month (now officially weighing 92.3lbs according to him), and according to the machine, 1.7lbs of that is muscle... so 1.3 is fat. Apparently while the machine might not give accurate body fat and muscle weight percentages, the *changes* you see over time when you use the same machine are accurate. So yeah.

He said that 1.7lbs of muscle in a month for a female is really good, although he reminded me I'm still quite unconditioned and started off weedy, so my muscle growth is still accelerated for now - he 'warned' me any muscle growth will gradually go down to 1lb per month at most from here on in. He said the 1.3lbs of fat is good for me too, as he reckons more fat will make me healthier and you can't build muscle without putting on a little fat anyway. He said my smaller waist measurement shows it's going on 'in the right places' too. He said my rate of weight gain is very good, moderate and not extreme, and I'm on the right track completely. Big pat on the back for me. Yep, he was happy.. **HE** was.

Of course, you can guess how **I** feel about that.. I'm happy about the muscle if I have to be, but absolutely not the fat. I don't care about 'right places' or 'healthier' or any of that crap, lets be honest. Honestly didn't think my binges were that huge. Now, I *could* put my higher weight down to the fact I ate a bunch of jello (bloats me right up) and lettuce with salt yesterday (water weight) and tell myself the numbers are a little skewed as a result.. that maybe I've put on less fat if I really want to try and feel better.. but the fact that it's been a month showing 3lbs gain, I obviously havn't LOST.

**So, here is the plan.**

Sunday night binges are no more... but I can't get rid of my routine completely. It is now a Sunday night cheat meal - i.e keep the cals lower. I will make the absolute most of it by making myself my favourite ever sandwich. I will have a nice, moderate portion of high quality chocolate, keep my chocolate brownie too. I will have a pack of low-cal popcorn or crisps. 1 more SMALL savoury like a veggie sausage roll if I need. Still high cal, but a lot better than what I was doing. I will bulk the whole thing out with my favourite veg - broccoli - like a WHOLE DAMN PLATE, maybe stir fry some mushrooms, and stuff my face with that before eating the nice things to fill me up. If I need too, finish off with some frozen Fage flavoured with low cal hot chocolate to really fill my tummy.

I am sorta confident with this plan. My binges were naturally getting smaller anyway.. they were just still too large obviously, and all very high cal foods. Sticking some low cal foods that I enjoy in there will help.

I will also go for a run Sunday afternoons after the gym, OR spend a couple of hours playing Pokemon GO (it's working now! I just need to get data!). I will watch my intake more earlier on on Sundays in general. I will restrict more during the week to create a bigger deficit.

I have a little over a month to lose just over 4lbs. Would be easy without the Sunday thing, but I can't totally get rid of it.. still, if I am more careful, I SHOULD be able to do it.

Wish me luck guys. I need to be 88lbs by September 1st.

... I can do this... right...?

[Rant/Rave] What a mess, man...
Created: Fri Jul 22 04:11:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u233j/what_a_mess_man/

[Tip] A good tea for curbing appetite
Created: Fri Jul 22 01:14:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u1lkq/a_good_tea_for_curbing_appetite/

[Other] tfw out of calories for the day and have to only drink bouillon
/u/bacongains [🐋🐷]
Created: Fri Jul 22 01:07:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u1kv6/tfw_out_of_calories_for_the_day_and_have_to_only/

[Other] It hurts, it's too real XD
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Fri Jul 22 00:56:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u1jsb/it_hurts_its_too_real_xd/

[Rant/Rave] I feel disgusting.
Created: Fri Jul 22 00:03:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u1dxr/i_feel_disgusting/

[Help] Feeling heart palpitations but have a normal pulse?
Created: Thu Jul 21 23:29:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u19y2/feeling_heart_palpitations_but_have_a_normal_pulse/

Question for those those purge
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:52:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u15mz/question_for_those_those_purge/

[Goal] Not even 8am and I've already reached my daily goal :)
/u/commtra [5'7 | GW:110 | -11 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:51:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u15f8/not_even_8am_and_ive_already_reached_my_daily_goal/

[Rant/Rave] Is this what normal feels like? Also, soylent?
/u/Melusedek [173 | CW: 58.9 | GW: 56.8 | 19.68/19.45 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:44:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u14oa/is_this_what_normal_feels_like_also_soylent/
For the past week and a half I've had to flip my schedule completely on its head since I'm doing remote night observations at a telescope for my thesis, which meant having to be up 12 am to 8 am every day. Of course, I ate like shit for the first few days because any change, especially to sleep (of which I got like none), absolutely destroys any modicum of self-control I possess.

But lately, I haven't been as hungry. Yesterday I fasted for 24 hours (dinner to dinner) without even trying. And when I was, I ate dinner and that was it. No uncontrollable binge after.

Still, I brought a European version of soylent and I plan on having 600 calories from that until I run out (I have over a months worth). If I ever have a day over 600 it'll be from eating with friends. Once I get to my UGW, I'll start easing into maintaining.

I hate that I had to eat like a pig for this to happen, but it feels so much better to not be thinking about food 24/7 and having to constantly fight any urge to eat. I may not feel as physically light, but it's such a huge weight off my mind to not have these thoughts right now.

Please god let me finally be normal.

[Rant/Rave] Kinda drunk and realized I have kind of a cute butt
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:12:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u10tz/kinda_drunk_and_realized_i_have_kind_of_a_cute/
Ok so flair later, mobile, I'm kinda drunk at a bar with my boyfriend and I had 1000 cals today and I just went to pee and looked in the mirror (I look skinnier than j thought tonight) and I turned around then realized my butt is kinda cute and I just wanted to share because it made me happy and yeah I've never liked my butt that much before and tomeodow I will probably look at this and be lik, "wow did I really post that" and yes I am posting this and yes I think maybe my butt is kind of cute. Thanks for reading my proED pals I FACKING LOVE U GUYS!!!!!! Happy thurs ❤️❤️❤️😇😇😇

[Rant/Rave] I got to change my flair today. And I'm going to a music festival this weekend. Things are finally looking up.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 22:05:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u100v/i_got_to_change_my_flair_today_and_im_going_to_a/
I finally got to move my flair from 125 to 120. I'm back at my safe weight. And I'm super pumped. Aside from ED, I'm going to a music festival of AMAZING vibes, art, nature, dubstep, jam bands, camping, tripping, etc. etc.

ED upfront, I'm def gonna come home a couple pounds lighter. :):):) So much movement, dancing, low-appetite drugs, and high-nutrient/high-protein foods. And a ton of water. YESSSSS. If this scale read anything below 120 on Monday i'll be fucking thrilled.

Enjoy your weekends, good luck, and be nice to yourself, shit can turn around.


I'm new here...:) hey everyone! just discovered reddit then this sub, you all seem so nice. i'm an elite-ish distance runner, 5'9 and 125lbs. this is me in the picture. i'm so excited to join this community xxx
/u/kennedyconnolly [5'9| 124 | 17.9]
Created: Thu Jul 21 20:41:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0okk/im_new_here_hey_everyone_just_discovered_reddit/

[Help] EC Stack and smell???
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 21 20:32:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0n2r/ec_stack_and_smell/
So my boyfriend is what you might call a super taster, or super smeller. He has a crazy sensitive nose (he went to culinary school, and is in the wine industry, so it's kind of a job requirement). I have been EC stacking with Bronkaid, and he says that I have a weird smell to me now, and that my breath is especially bad for about 72 hours after I've taken the Bronkaid. Does anyone else notice a strange/bad smell on their skin or breath when taking Bronkaid???

i'm new here...:)
Created: Thu Jul 21 20:30:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0mum/im_new_here/

[Discussion] Poop talk :-( TMI warning
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:44:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0g2f/poop_talk_tmi_warning/
So how often do you guys poop?

This is a weird question, sorry lol

Ive always had issues pooping, even when I was a baby (so says my mother). And... well for the past few months, I have been using laxatives like once every week or two. It's gotten to the point the only time I poop is when I take the laxatives... which means a whole week without pooping usually (unless I double up one week and go for two rounds of lax). I have tried taking fiber, drinking water, everything to get my insides functioning.

I just feel really bloated and icky with all this shit inside me (literally) but I really want to have one natural bowel movement before I take laxatives again.

Is it normal to go a week without pooping when you're heavily restricting? Or is it just me? Have I already messed myself up with these laxatives? Blargh!

[Discussion] Do you ever just look at your actions and take in how bad they are?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:17:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0c26/do_you_ever_just_look_at_your_actions_and_take_in/
I just ate a box of 20 Timbits (that I bought to give to my little brothers) in bed while Googling the baking soda and water purge method.

I was about 5 Timbits from the end when I just went "What the fuck am I doing?"

I've never been a purge-er, maybe some exercise purging, but I feel better about that.

I then ate another Timbit, and went and got some baking soda. So clearly the moment of clarity wasn't really all that helpful.

I didn't end up doing it. I don't want to start purging.

But God, I've never really looked at the way I'm acting and truly realized how fucked I am.

I see that it's probably a good thing that I really think about what I'm doing, but it doesn't stop the awful, awful feeling about my appearance.

So I'm going to go run, run until I feel I've made a decent deficit.

That's a little better than purging.

[Discussion] Booze Binges
/u/oksneaky [63in | CW: 125.8| -13.2 | GW:UNDER 120 BY 9/15 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:14:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0bn6/booze_binges/
I know this is a common theme on here with us, but I absolutely love seeing that I have some extra calories at the end of the week to have a booze binge and not feel too horrible about it. And, I usually get drunk just a little easier cause I'm light on food!

Funny to me: Earlier I scanned my bottle of cheap wine to log how many ml I had poured into the glass and it went ahead and calculated the whole bottle calories into MFP. Back in the day (and probably tonight) I had to use full bottle measures because that's all I did was drink entire bottles each night, it made me laugh.

Everyone's fav drink? I'm a vodka water girl but damn do I love wine drunk! SO many cals but sometimes it's just the mood I'm in.

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Trying to fast
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:14:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0bmu/rantrave_trying_to_fast/
Trying to fast and my mum gets home and makes us beef stroganoff, damn do I love me some beef stroganoff. So, like the controless piggy I am, I ate that stupid beef stroganoff. Rawr, and tomorrow was supposed to be double double day too. So I'll be attempting the fast again tomorrow, I'll have to heavily restrict on saturday because now my mum isn't working on sunday, and I'll have to heavily restrict again on monday to pay back the calories I'll no doubt be eating. And she might possibly have the day off on tuesday which means another high calorie supper wich I doubt I'll be able to resist.

Edit: wording

TL;DR attempted a fast so that I could have a double double, failed b/c beef stroganoff, and now i have to wait at least five days before I can have it. Damn you stomach.

[Tip] PRO TIP: Stop snacking, so says "My 600 pound life"
Created: Thu Jul 21 19:06:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u0ai5/pro_tip_stop_snacking_so_says_my_600_pound_life/

[Rant/Rave] I am not going to binge
/u/rad_dads [5'9" | 152 | 22.0 | F | GW: 125]
Created: Thu Jul 21 18:06:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u01f5/i_am_not_going_to_binge/
Mostly posing this just so I hold myself too it. Was doing ok today and then stopped at the grocery to get some melatonin and managed to walk out with red velvet Oreos and a box of pop tarts. Already had 3 Oreos and feel super shitty about it so I'm trying to prevent myself from eating more and thinking about the $7 I just wasted.

Just gotta make it home and sit down with some tea, some carrots, and some thinspo and I should be fine.

Anyways hope you guys are having a fantastic day!

[Discussion] Let's talk working out!
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Thu Jul 21 18:05:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4u01bl/lets_talk_working_out/
So what are ya'll's workout routines and how are you liking it?

For me personally, I walk 15K steps a day, do 200 squats 5 days out of the week, and now I've added 100 sit ups as well. I like it; it's hard but I feel it's worth it for my mental health.

[Rant/Rave] post lactation hunger, get the fuck outta here.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 17:16:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tztqq/post_lactation_hunger_get_the_fuck_outta_here/
Guys I figured it out; the binging, the insatiable hunger, and the inability to stop. After doing some research it turns out that babyman's weaning has sent my blood sugar and hunger hormones into a tailspin.

On one hand, ok so I'm not a complete fuck up, but on the other hand the pressure I've put on myself to combat this is insane.

I'm fighting against evolutionary biology and this is so fucking hard.

I gotta do this, I have to do this, white knuckle will power must carry me on. I WILL NOT REGAIN THE WEIGHT.

on mobile, will flair when I can.

[Thinspo] My thinspo: Allll the thigh gaps, some abs and before/afters
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 17:16:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tztmn/my_thinspo_allll_the_thigh_gaps_some_abs_and/

[Discussion] Feeling stressed at work
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 116.0 | 21.2 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 16:56:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzqgi/feeling_stressed_at_work/
A girl at my work has an eating disorder and speaks to me about it a lot. I've had mine under control for a while, but hearing her talk about it is stressing me out. She doesn't know I have one I don't think. I don't want to talk to her about it but at the same time I do because its making me eat less (which I know is just my ED acting up and enjoying the fact that its taking control again). I'm not really looking for solutions - because the solution really would be telling her I didn't want to talk about it - I just wanted to share because it's stressing me out :/

Does anyone else get super triggered by people talking about their EDs? Or do you find it therapeutic to relate to someone?

[Rant/Rave] Best irl thinspiration
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 16:38:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzno0/best_irl_thinspiration/
So I was craving sugar, and I headed up to my work's bakery to buy a doughnut. There was this super thin guy in front of me who was trying to buy a coffee. The barista kept, for whatever reason, trying to convince him to buy a doughnut, telling him that he should eat more, that he needed the food, blahblahblah. I felt a bad for the guy, she was being so pushy about it (she was laughing/joking around, but still). So he finally told her that "food is for the weak", then turned around, looked at me, and said, "See? She agrees with me."

?????? What the fuck? My eyes widened and I had no idea what to say, but after that display of willpower I just got a coffee. Damn, random guy, thanks for the motivation.

[Rant/Rave] Hit proper ham status. I feels strange feels (antifeels?)
Created: Thu Jul 21 16:21:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzkya/hit_proper_ham_status_i_feels_strange_feels/
Last week I officially reached my *highest*, most disgusting and vile weight ever. Even though it was definitely partly due to food weight and bloat thanks to ceaseless binging, it was still a number I would've never imagined could possibly show up on my scale because surely I would never ever let myself become so unbelievably fat.

Except it did. And I did. And surprisingly, I just felt... nothing? I certainly didn't feel bad, I think. It was almost satisfying. Like watching a particularly disgusting eating show or something. Like when you've picked so much at your skin that you've turned yourself into a swollen bleeding mess. Ah idk it's hard to explain.

I think I have some weird two way body dysmorphia that just makes me feel like I look the same at every weight. Not sure if anyone relates but I've been looking at myself in the mirror for the past 30kg or so and have been seeing the same bloody person. When I was at a healthy weight I felt just as fat as I feel as over weight. Now that I'm a ham planet, it's just... Whatever?

IDK maybe I'm disappointed I guess?? I've been hit with some pretty sweet motivation though. Not the fist-pump-fuck-yea-im-gonna-win-so-hard-at-this-shit-gimme-all-ur-motivational-quotez kind but a more apathy driven sort if that makes sense? The kind of motivation-like feeling which can only arise when you've entirely given up on putting effort into fixing your shit and just go with the flow while staring blankly into the distance. Like... I'm so anhedonic I can't even be bothered to be self-destructive right now because hurting myself doesn't feel good anymore when you don't feel anything. But since I'm not being self-destructive I'm making progress, by default. It's really difficult to explain this state of mind, if you've experienced it you know how I feel.

I've dropped 2kg since last week because I've been eating so light (can't be bothered to binge or even think about food, that shit's too much) and walking 20k steps everyday just from roaming around like an idiot (not without the obligatory blank stare into the distance ofc). Should be thrilled but feel nothing tbqh. Nice, eh?

TL;DR: I'm a fat and gross ball of nothing I guess

Edit- remove weird extra words

[Rant/Rave] Being the fattest today and eating Olive Garden
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 21 15:33:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzd18/being_the_fattest_today_and_eating_olive_garden/
Just ordered the most food I've thought about in forever (on mobile, will flair at home). I'm with the bf so idk if I'll be able to purge. But I've pretty much fasted and walked all day so I shouldn't feel too awful.

[Discussion] What is the deal with purging?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 15:17:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tzab0/what_is_the_deal_with_purging/
Slightly misleading title.

Do you lose all the calories? Some? Not many? None at all?

Seems like every source online says something different and I want someone with experience points. I have definitely had bulimia in my life, but I use it more as a crutch rather than my main source of weight loss. After purging yesterday I was desperate to know how many calories I retained and wasn't able to get an answer.

I'm looking for an answer from someone who is mainly bulimic to confirm or deny weight loss from it, but as always, anyone is welcome to chime in.

Thanks :)

[Discussion] Skinny Syrups (like Walden Farms)
/u/fxuk [5'3 | CW: 78 lbs | GW: 75 lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:54:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tz6b0/skinny_syrups_like_walden_farms/
Hi, I just discovered Skinny Syrups on Instagram. They have things for coffee, tea, desserts etc. Zero calories (like walden farms I'm sure there's like 40 per bottle but still) zero sugar, gluten free and kosher. Has anyone heard of them/tried them? (:

[Discussion] Trying a weird diet...
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:33:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tz2pj/trying_a_weird_diet/
So, I'm really obsessive about calorie counting, and when I cook or prepare a meal, I freak out as ingredients add up and get really anxious. I have to count too many things and I become too stressed out, I just freak out. It usually leads to a binge because I think, "I don't know what ice eaten, I failed, let me just eat it all and start over tomorrow."

Well, I've been seeing a TON of nutrisystem commercials lately and thought it sounded great to have somebody do all the counting for me. I could breath and just have one number per meal. Only, it's too expensive. Like, super expensive. So, I had an idea! I'm going to make my OWN nutrisystem diet! I'm going to get lean cuisines, smart ones, and healthy choice meals, and then I will have only three meals a day.

I'm starting today and I'm going to do it for 4 weeks, or 28 days. I will see how much I lose in that time. I will weigh in on day one, and then on day 29, and I will see how successful it is! I'm excited because the food will be easy, yummy, and I will have minimal counting.

So, what do y'all think?

[Tip] Protein! Eat it!
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:31:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tz273/protein_eat_it/
[Click here](http://i.imgur.com/FeWimx9.jpg) for a cute infographic showing **vegan** protein sources (per 100g or per 1oz serving). The artist gave them little faces, it's adorable, but if that's not your thing I've also listed them below and also included (approximate) caloric info:

source | protein per 100g | calories per 100g | protein per 1oz | calories per 1oz
almonds | 21g | 578 | 6g | 164
cashews | 18g | 576 | 5g | 157
chia seeds | 16g | 490 | 4g | 139
chickpeas | 9g | 119 | 3g | 34
flax seeds | 18g | 534 | 5g | 151
hazelnut | 15g | 632 | 4g | 178
lentils | 9g | 353 | 3g | 100
lima beans | 8g | 130 | 2g | 32
macadamia nuts | 8g | 718 | 2g | 204
oats | 17g | 389 | 5g | 110
peanut butter | 23g | 588 | 6g | 167
peas | 5g | 81 | 1g | 23
pecans | 9g | 691 | 3g | 196
pistachios | 21g | 557 | 6g | 158
potato | 2g | 75 | 1g | 26
pumpkin seeds | 24g | 574 | 7g | 153
quinoa | 4g | 374 | 1g | 106
red beans | 9g | 127 | 3g | 96
soybeans | 17g | 147 | 5g | 23
spinach | 3g | 23 | 1g | 7
tahini | 22g | 592 | 6g | 169
tofu | 15g | 85 | 4g | 18
walnut | 15g | 654 | 4g | 185
whole wheat bread | 11g | 246 | 3g | 73

Please note that this isn't 100% accurate, since the caloric values come from a variety of online sources and there's some discrepancy between how many calories are in different types (seriously, who knew there were so many different kinds of lima beans??) but it should give you a general comparison between each of the sources listed here.

[This](http://i.imgur.com/4vSKWik.png?8) chart compares **meat/fish, dairy/eggs and plant-based** protein sources and respective caloric content, protein value and portion size.

The author also created [this amazing Google spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PnUZ3NnjUxXRGoLcdMsV6fztsmon4AMSzYcnOCwlG2M/edit#gid=0) if you'd like a closer look at the data behind the chart. [*Source*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/2fa487/foods_ranked_by_protein_per_calorie/).

[Help] 4 week plateau - exercise?
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:28:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tz1ra/4_week_plateau_exercise/
I've been stuck at 145 for aaaaages and seeing as I'm at home all the time now I think I need to increase my calorie burn rather than decrease intake because it's almost impossible to get below 900 when I'm not doing my own food. I have access to some home weights and a lot of space for walking/running. Luckily I'm busy enough at the moment to be distracted from the plateau but in a few days the anxiety will definitely kick in so I'm looking to start losing before that happens. My current fitness level is awful, so please keep this in mind. Anything that burns a lot in a short time period but is suitable for shit-level fitness coming to mind for anyone?
FYI: I'm 5'10, SW 169, and (as you can see) CW 145. UGW 125.

[Intro] Thank you for being here ~
/u/BlackFlagWhiteSails [5'5" | 113.6 | 18.9 | F/23]
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:17:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyzug/thank_you_for_being_here/
Hey all! I'd been in recovery for awhile but a couple months ago the stresses of my job and moving out and finishing school all sorta snuck up on me and my depression came back and yeah I'm here. I'm trying to do better this time, looking at my macros, not restricting so heavily.

Anyways, much love for everyone on their journey and thanks for being so supportive and open

[Tip] Really bad day :/ also please give your tips to successfully restrict!
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:14:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyzg3/really_bad_day_also_please_give_your_tips_to/

[Other] Can't binge anymore?!
Created: Thu Jul 21 14:03:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyxdi/cant_binge_anymore/
Today i was in a seriously terrible mood. I had a massive argument with my family and was doing the usual crying, moping and sulking routine in my room. This is usually the prime moment for me to go on a binge but when i tried to eat a croissant...it didn't work!? Like i felt weirdly "empty" from consuming the bite i had taken from it. It didn't give me a sense of satisfaction. It didn't give me anything. I threw away the rest of the croissant. This is kinda amazing but also weird! By now i would've been half way through a tub of ice cream or something but instead i just...don't want to binge! I don't have the same intense urge anymore!?

Btw i'm using a throwaway account. This is my first post on here so hello everyone! :)

[Thinspo] More collarbone thinspo! My own :)
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:47:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyulq/more_collarbone_thinspo_my_own/

[Thinspo] Mini Thinspo Album
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:40:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tytbq/mini_thinspo_album/

[Thinspo] Some Forever 21 Thinspo
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:35:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyskc/some_forever_21_thinspo/

[Thinspo] Thursday thinspo
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:33:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tys2a/thursday_thinspo/

[Help] Couldn't purge all my binging...i feel like shit. Will i gain?
Created: Thu Jul 21 13:07:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tynf6/couldnt_purge_all_my_bingingi_feel_like_shit_will/
Okay so rarely do i ever binge-purge, its mainly just purging. But today i really wanted ice cream so i went out and bought ben and jerrys and a stick of cookie dough. I then proceeded to eat about 1/2 pf the icecream and 1/2 of the roll. I was able to purge the ice cream but the cookie dough didnt come up and the baked cookies didnt either. I feel like such a failure and so bloated rn. Will i end up gaining it?? Im chugging water rn and going to eat some fruit that i wont purge.

[Rant/Rave] Bra shopping left me traumatized
/u/italkiesomuch [5'7 | CW 145 | GW 115 | -40lbs| Whale Noises]
Created: Thu Jul 21 12:25:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyftq/bra_shopping_left_me_traumatized/
Guys, I am so pissed.

I've lost weight according to my plan, and was super happy because it was starting to show. Pants getting a little looser, etc.

But then I had to go bra shopping and I decided to get measured because I honestly haven't done that in years - last time I did was at my heaviest about 45 lbs ago and I was a 38C (I hate that number holy shit).

Anyways, I got measured and I went UP a size - I'm a 34D now. D! What the fuck! I wanted these fat sacks on my chest to virtually disappear and now they're bigger in circumference? What kind of bullshit is that even?!

Even worse was that the lady measuring me tried to find my size and said "I don't even know if we carry sizes beyond 36C..." Awesome, so now not only do I have bigger looking fat sacks, but I also will have to shop online for them from here on out if I want the same awesome bras I've been getting my whole life.

I haven't been this upset about the letter D since high school.

[Discussion] 3 Days before shark week I'm RAVENOUS. Anyone else?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 21 12:15:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tye1v/3_days_before_shark_week_im_ravenous_anyone_else/
So, about 3 days before the blood moon is upon us, I eat EVERYTHING. And crave things so hard that I will cry if I try to fight myself not to eat it. I had secret Chinese buffet b/p sessions Sunday and Monday (I lied to my SO about where I was going because I was so ashamed - not like he would care?) Tuesday, shark week has begun, and I'm fine. Not hungry, not feeling crazy, actually fasting today with pizza about 20 feet away.

Does anyone else deal with these extremes during your PMS stage?

[Help] What do you do to get energy?
Created: Thu Jul 21 12:11:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tyd56/what_do_you_do_to_get_energy/
Anytime volleyball season comes around, I feel so worn out and tired, like I'm about to pass out during practice. Or if I just need to workout, it feels like I'm just too tired. What do you do to get enough energy to get through the day?

[Discussion] I don't like working out
Created: Thu Jul 21 11:38:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ty79p/i_dont_like_working_out/
So I was reading about work outs that don't feel like working out.


Oh, that's a good idea. If I do the work I'll excercise a bit.

But I hate my body.

I'm fat.

Who would want sex with me?


[Help] Day 2 of getting fit for dance:Boss brings pizza to the office.
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 11:35:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ty6rs/day_2_of_getting_fit_for_danceboss_brings_pizza/
Guys, what do I do here. I woke up this morning and I was so hungry so I'm already trying to stave off a binge, and then my boss goes and brings in pizza for lunch today. And if I eat once slice you know it's gonna trigger a binge for the rest of the day. I don't know what to do here.

[Discussion] Just curious - does anything happen if you only take ephedrine (without caffeine)
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 11:13:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ty2w4/just_curious_does_anything_happen_if_you_only/
Sorry, on mobile - will flair later.

I'm just curious if the EC stack is still effective without caffeine? Sometimes I get bad jitters from caffeine (I've always been like this even before stacking) and just want the appetite suppression benefits. Is it worth just taking a bronkaid or primatene? Thanks!

[Goal] I got a fitbit! I love it already!! Anyone wanna be friends?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Thu Jul 21 10:57:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txzy0/i_got_a_fitbit_i_love_it_already_anyone_wanna_be/
Could be motivating ! Idk. Idk what I'm doing.

Except my band is a lg. It's huuge. Anyone know where I can get bands cheap? I know eBay is an option but I don't wanna wait 2 months to get.

[Rant/Rave] Binging Like I've Never Binged Before
Created: Thu Jul 21 10:51:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txytb/binging_like_ive_never_binged_before/
Normally I'm guilty of binge eating like once or twice a month. For the rest of the time, it's pretty easy for me to restrict under 800 or fast for a few days no problem. Recently, however, I haven't been able to stop eating. I won't feel full no matter how much I eat. Sometimes what I'm eating won't even taste good but it doesn't matter I will continue to eat and I am terrified. I've lost control and I don't know what to do.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 21, 2016
Created: Thu Jul 21 10:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txps1/daily_food_diary_july_21_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Discussion] Had a dream last night...
/u/salamanderqueen [5'9"| CW: 159.4 | SW: 180 | GW: 120 | -20.6 | 19F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 09:37:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txkup/had_a_dream_last_night/
Had a dream that I weighed myself and I was at my goal weight for this week. Woke up really excited to log it before realizing it was just a dream and I'm still fat and 2 pounds away from my weight goal for this week....

[Other] Mila Kunis claims she achieved her Black Swan body by consuming 1,200 calories a day. Yahoo journalist calls it "terrifying" *eye roll*
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 112 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 09:20:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txhou/mila_kunis_claims_she_achieved_her_black_swan/

[Goal] Collar bones :)
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 08:59:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4txdps/collar_bones/

[Rant/Rave] Fuck why am I so hungry today
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 21 08:32:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tx8yx/fuck_why_am_i_so_hungry_today/
Fuck this shit, supposed to be fasting, already had some sugar free jelly(/jello).

Fuck fuck fuck I already went over the last two days. Fuck.

[Other] Body dysmorphia
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 08:13:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tx5rz/body_dysmorphia/
I didn't realize that this could go the other way. When I think of body dysmorphia, I think of looking in the mirror and seeing a whale. But sometimes I'll look in the mirror and I'll see a frail little girl who could snap like a twig. I'm not even underweight...

[Other] Does anyone have an enabler? This is enough to make me not eat for weeks. :x
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:40:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tx0e1/does_anyone_have_an_enabler_this_is_enough_to/

[Rant/Rave] I took a laxative and I'm in so much pain
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:31:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twz18/i_took_a_laxative_and_im_in_so_much_pain/
Do not take correctol. It's a "gentle" laxative for women, and I took the recommended dose of two pills since I haven't gone in five days. I took it like ten hours ago and I've had extreme, severe cramping for the past few hours. It's so bad. I can't fall asleep and I'm crying. I still can't go, and I feel like puking more than anything. I read reviews online (a little too late) and 14/21 report severe cramping. TWO THIRDS. Like half of that number had to be hospitalized due to dehydration and another half compared the cramps to labor pains?! Every time the cramps come on I scream and they last at least a minute, and come in bouts of two-three. My moms already mad at me for waking her up from yelling like I'm faking it. It's so painful.

[Help] Update on Germany trip (serious tmi)
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:24:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twy09/update_on_germany_trip_serious_tmi/
Thank you guys so much for all your advice!! But now I need help with something more physical....

I can't poop like at all. Ive tried yoga, I'm walking over a mile a day, I've tried upping fiber intake, and definitely hydrated... it's been like this for 4 1/2 days and I'm refusing to take laxatives bc I'm trying to quit the habit cold turkey. (I b/p for two weeks straight, everyday.)

I feel nauseated, light headed, my heart feels light, and I have awful gas but I can't pass it. It's getting to the point where I can't enjoy anything I feel so gross.

My last bm was 4-5 days ago from laxatives. How long does it usually take for y'alls bowel/digestive tract to shape up? Is this normal? Do I stick it out or use lax again? Aughhh

Looking for a fasting buddy
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:24:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twxzz/looking_for_a_fasting_buddy/

[Rant/Rave] Swollen boobs. Awesome.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 21 07:08:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twvlr/swollen_boobs_awesome/
So, I'm passed my due date for my period (only by like two days) so my PMS symptoms are INTENSE.

My boobs are huge. And technically, to anyone else, they're considered "nice boobs". I just hate them because they're huge and muffin topping in my bras and ugh. It makes me feel fat. I want a flat, or ALMOST flat chest.

Plus my boobs probably weigh like 10 pounds right now.

Fml I hate tits.

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support July 21, 2016
Created: Thu Jul 21 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twmie/weekly_emotional_support_july_21_2016/

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Rant/Rave] I'm pretty sure that if I actually have BED
Created: Thu Jul 21 05:06:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twg13/im_pretty_sure_that_if_i_actually_have_bed/

[Help] Stretch marks... advice?
Created: Thu Jul 21 04:34:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4twcsy/stretch_marks_advice/

[Help] cant purge
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 106 lb | 21.34 | -21.5| Female]
Created: Thu Jul 21 02:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tw2q8/cant_purge/

[Discussion] Let's laugh at ourselves 2.0 (trigger warning!)
/u/skinny_pls [5'3" | 110 | 19.5 | -40 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 21 02:01:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tvxqq/lets_laugh_at_ourselves_20_trigger_warning/
So a while back, a user here (u/Hereismyusername2) made a thread where we'd take a step back from the serious and try to find humor in our lifestyle. As she mentioned, it can be hurtful/triggering but that's not my intention! Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine. So I'll start out with new OC:


And here are some ones I commented on the last thread:

[when you're at the buffet but you're bulimic](http://i.imgur.com/NNrNGIJ.jpg)

[when the toilet water splashes in your eye](http://imgur.com/Uh4zkYl)

Let's see some more spicy memes or good jokes!

[Discussion] Anyone ever try tablespoon of mustard to throw up?
Created: Thu Jul 21 00:49:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tvq6f/anyone_ever_try_tablespoon_of_mustard_to_throw_up/
I just did and I'm wondering if it'll work. My stomach felt painfully full.

[Rant/Rave] the dichotomy of binge eating disorder
/u/AwwwwwSewerBunniis [5'1.5" | CW:124.6 | 22.8 | GW: 105| UGW: 98| f | -5.4lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 22:15:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tv7h1/the_dichotomy_of_binge_eating_disorder/
I want nothing more than for my husband to go to bed so I can eat, yet I'm grateful that he's awake, because I won't eat while he's watching

yay, BED.

edit: and I'm watching "stranger things," with one of my idols (winona ryder) still looking awesome, and this new girl, Natalia dyer, making me want to die. fuck. I love my son, but why the fuck did I ever have a baby and ruin my body this way?

[Rant/Rave] One of my bone markers "disappeared" (aka is now covered with fat). Need support from people who won't think I'm crazy.
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 21:31:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tv1oa/one_of_my_bone_markers_disappeared_aka_is_now/
Four or five days ago I noticed that a bone right next to my kneecap became visible and I was obviously really happy. It's gone now and there's a layer of squish over it. I'm terrified. I've been restricting pretty seriously except for this weekend I went to a diner on Friday and on Sunday ate but not more than my TDEE. I don't weigh myself regularly and I'm so depressed that seeing the scale go up might honestly drive me to hurt myself.

Is this BDD talking? I mean I get having a distorted image but how can it distort me not feeling my bone?? Or water weight on my fucking knee somehow?

I'm probably just going to fast for a few days because I'm really upset. I feel like such a disgusting failure. In the meantime any support would be appreciated. I'm caught between feeling so ugly and depressed that I just want to disappear forever and also realizing that it's just a fucking bone and I need to relax.

Seeking a support buddy who is similar in height/weight or BMI!
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 20:29:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tusj0/seeking_a_support_buddy_who_is_similar_in/

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Does anybody else overestimate calories?
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Wed Jul 20 20:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tup73/rant_does_anybody_else_overestimate_calories/
I had a realistically small binge and I feel so so so bad about it AND I logged it as almost double the calories of what it was on MFP. I feel like if I overestimate , that it punishes me into not ever doing it again ;-; I feel like such a failure.Thursday and Friday are fast days. I'm stocking up on liquids too, I think that is what caused the binge ... dehydration. Sorry guys. Rant over. 😢

[Rant/Rave] I'm afraid I have nothing left.
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 20 19:17:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tuhv9/im_afraid_i_have_nothing_left/
My anorexia reached its peak when I was 15.. 7 years go. That's when everyone found out and I was hospitalized for medical complications and then I entered treatment. For years before then it had been my safety blanket, my little secret, my comfort.

Then, after a few years of recovery and relapse, at 18 I finally committed to recovery for real. I had a good run, entered a unique and very intense kind of therapy and really did make a lot of progress. The underlying reasons why I developed an ED are not an issue anymore.

Lately, there has been so much change in my life I've felt the pull towards my ED just to feel some control. But the more I dive back in, engage in behaviours, (embarrassingly) look at thinspo, the more I realize I don't necessarily want to completely relapse. I don't think I want to look worryingly thin, I don't want to become too underweight.

I'm in this weird waste land between recovery and full blown relapse. If I don't have my ED, and I don't have recovery, then what do I have? Am I left with nothing? I don't get the same comfort from my behaviours that I used to. But I also get no comfort from recovery. So what now?

I feel very lost, and very alone. Can I learn to accept this limbo land and be comfortable in it? Is it really possible to find a balance between the behaviours and a normal, somewhat healthy life?

[Rant/Rave] I'm a littlelot drunk...
/u/AwwwwwSewerBunniis [5'1.5" | CW:124.6 | 22.8 | GW: 105| UGW: 98| f | -5.4lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 19:10:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tugsb/im_a_littlelot_drunk/
...and I just responded to a post that made me think of just how frustrating it is to be a stay at home mom with disordered eating habits. I did my ec stack today, and only ate the leftovers of my son's dinner, but I still feel like the fattest thing on the planet.

god, life was so much easier when I could not eat for three days without anybody noticing, and not having to cook at all, and therefore not being tempted to eat.

I hate being old and still feeling this way.

[Rant/Rave] Success!!!
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:55:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tuemg/success/
Successfully avoided food all day!!! Had a bunch of iced coffee, and a 1.5L bottle of wine, but ingested nothing solid today, and feeling heavenly!!!!!!

[Discussion] Disinterest in food all together. Anyone else?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:55:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tuelh/disinterest_in_food_all_together_anyone_else/
Having an ED is so complicated, you KNOW you need to eat to live and function but at the same time you know you can't eat because then you risk gaining.

My mind has me pretty much turned off to food at this point. Like can I eat yeah? But the thought of it makes me want to vomit actually. I can only handle eating small amounts of food at a time or I just get sick. It's crazy.

Anyone else feel like this sometimes?

[Help] Vicoprofen as an appetite suppressant?
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:51:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tudwk/vicoprofen_as_an_appetite_suppressant/
Hey guys!

So I had those two wisdom teeth removed yesterday (they were 1.5 grams lol).

They gave me 18 7.5/200 vicoprofen tablets. Yesterday I took 5 and they worked well for the pain but made me nauseous. I still managed to end the day at 577c because I shared half a tub of ice cream with my husband.

Today I took 3 more, more for fun than for pain. I only use natural drugs and was curious as to how these affect me.

Bottom line is I haven't been hungry all day. I keep falling asleep and I've been a little nauseous but I have no desire for food. I ate a little taco salad before I took them and a little ice cream after. I'm at 400c but I'm not hungry and I feel like I should be.

Is this what an ec stack feels like? Has anyone else had this experience?

[Goal] Hit my actual step goal for the first time in WEEEKKKSSS. Hopefully I loose a pound when I wake up tmrw
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:49:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tudm3/hit_my_actual_step_goal_for_the_first_time_in/

[Other] I went to a youth group today
/u/smallsmallersmallest [168cm | CW 52.5kg GW 47kg | 18.66 | -8.5kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:47:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tudcp/i_went_to_a_youth_group_today/
It was one that's run weekly by an eating disorder charity. This week's topic was 'journey to recovery', two of the girls there, who consider themselves recovered and almost recovered, talked about how they got to the point that they're at now. I enjoyed going to be honest, everyone there was so lovely, and it's nice to be in a room with a group of people my age who can sympathise with something that most people can't. However they're very much focused on recovery, of course, and I'm not ready for that.. I went because the three people who know about all of this encouraged me to, so I agreed to go to one and see how it goes and I think I actually will go next week too. I kinda feel like a phoney though, it seems that everyone there wants to be there so that they can recover and I'm just really not ready, so I feel like if I go there with my weight dropping week by week they're gonna wonder why I even bother going if I'm not 'trying' as it were. I don't know, I could be overthinking this. Either way, I would like to see the people I met today again, I really did like them and once I'd got over the nerves of being in a room full of strangers, it was an enjoyable evening, and to hear about the other side of eating disorders from people who have lived it gives me something to think about. Maybe being in that environment will convince me to try recovery. Though I highly doubt it, the thought of letting go of my eating disorder panics me, it's become like a safety blanket.

Sorry for the rambling, I'm not really sure what I hope to gain from posting this, I just need to talk about it I suppose.

Edit: for some reason I can't flair on mobile so I'll have to flair this post in the morning.

[Help] Treadmills and Calories Burned
/u/APairofScales [5'6" | CW:Too Much | BMI:Nope| Weight Lost:Too Little | Male]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:28:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tuadx/treadmills_and_calories_burned/
I'm sure we're all familiar with a feature you see on most gym treadmills these days, where you can punch in your weight and It'll give you an estimation of the calories you've burned during your workout. Its generally acknowledge these things overestimate, I'm just curious as to how much, especially on the LifeSystems machines.

Example: at the gym both this morning and evening I cranked up the incline to max and walked at 3MPH for 30 minutes each session. The machine said I burned about 350 calories in each of these sessions. I'm curious whether I managed anything even close to that.

[Intro] so thankful for you guys
/u/miniatureti [5'4 | CW 151 | GW 115| -6.5 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:26:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tua32/so_thankful_for_you_guys/
Hi! i just made a new account so i could officially post on here. I've lurked here for quite a while, and you guys are so supportive and sweet. I've never been diagnosed with anything but I've always had problems with food. recently i started restricting and fasting for days, and I've lost 6 pounds since Saturday!! I'm so excited. you guys are the best, I'm so happy to finally be brave enough to post here. even without posting i feel like i have a giant support group! :-)

[Rant/Rave] I know I already posted but I just needed to rant.
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:24:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tu9tp/i_know_i_already_posted_but_i_just_needed_to_rant/

[Tip] 5 calories and probably the best diet drink I've ever had
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 18:09:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tu7ly/5_calories_and_probably_the_best_diet_drink_ive/

[Rant/Rave] Cold Sesame Noodles: A rant about why I can't stomach Chinese food.
Created: Wed Jul 20 17:17:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttzhe/cold_sesame_noodles_a_rant_about_why_i_cant/

[Help] Binged then threw up. I don't know what's going on. I did not purge, I just got sick af
Created: Wed Jul 20 17:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tty3j/binged_then_threw_up_i_dont_know_whats_going_on_i/

[Help] I need reassurance because I'm crazy
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Wed Jul 20 16:41:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tttjc/i_need_reassurance_because_im_crazy/
So if I eat at no more than 600 calories a day, there's no way I can gain weight right? Even if it's a dense food (ie bowl of cereal)? And any weight gain I do see is water retention right??

Ya'll I'm going mad

[Help] Sleeping when hungry
/u/setniessesed [5'11" | CW: 145.6 GW: 137? | 19.66 | -14lbs | 20/F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 15:43:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttjvn/sleeping_when_hungry/
When I'm in bed trying to sleep is one of the hardest times to avoid a binge after restricting, because I know that if I'm exhausted and can't sleep, eating will help me go to sleep pretty quickly. However obviously I need some other way to make myself go to sleep. Do you guys have any tips for falling asleep hungry? I already take melatonin, and can feel my body being more tired because of it but sometimes I just cannot fall asleep until like 4am or it starts to get light. I hate it. Any sleep tips greatly appreciated.

[Rant/Rave] A week of no hunger!
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Wed Jul 20 15:21:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttg28/a_week_of_no_hunger/
I just went through an entire week of not feeling hungry and it was great. My appetite is back now, which sucks, but I felt so light and happy this past week! Hope you're all having a good week too!

[Help] Will an EC stack show up on a drug test?
/u/thindreaming [5'8.5 | HW 170 | CW 153 | GW 120 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 15:14:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttezl/will_an_ec_stack_show_up_on_a_drug_test/
Hi everyone, I'm not really sure where else to ask this - this sub was the only place I could think of that I was comfortable.

For some shitty reasons, I have to start mandatory alcohol testing (UA). The woman at the place said it will also screen for drugs in addition to alcohol (5 panel). I was wondering if taking primatene will show up on this. I didn't list it as a medication I was taking because on my file it says I was in therapy for an ED so I was scared that listing primatene as a medication would set off some alarms if they know about EC stacking.

Also, does anyone have experience with this kind of testing? How long does it take for alcohol or drugs to leave your system? I'm gonna quit drinking regularly, but I was wondering if I'm still able to like, have a beer with dinner or something every now and then.

Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this, I just really have no idea where else to ask without setting off any red flags.

[Thinspo] Let's talk about our goals & thinspo!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 94 | 15.2 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 14:52:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ttb25/lets_talk_about_our_goals_thinspo/
Okay, so I was wondering what your ideal body would look like. My goal is what some would consider pretty extreme. A couple years ago my goals/thinspo were more at a 17 bmi, but as I've lost more, that's shifted much lower. Even regular thinspo I usually think "not enough". (Just to clarify, I'm NOT trying to say anyone's goals aren't enough! That's a totally personal thing!)

Anyway, I was wondering what kind of asthetic y'all are going for? Slender? Bony? Skeletal? Somewhere in between? Pics or your fav thinspo would be awesome too!

[Here's] (http://imgur.com/a/vhCZD) some that represents what I'm reaching for! (NSFW!)

[Other] when your ec stack makes you crave butter lettuce + strawberry baby food for lunch.
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 14:47:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tta9a/when_your_ec_stack_makes_you_crave_butter_lettuce/

[Tip] First time fasting. Can anyone give me some tips?
/u/DenyMyHunger [5'7"| Fat! |GW 140| UGW 112|-7lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 13:13:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tst9x/first_time_fasting_can_anyone_give_me_some_tips/

[Other] Going to try my first 24hr fast tomorrow
Created: Wed Jul 20 13:03:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tsrcn/going_to_try_my_first_24hr_fast_tomorrow/
See how it goes. Fingers crossed!

[Rant/Rave] I am drunk. Thank you guys
Created: Wed Jul 20 12:54:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tspng/i_am_drunk_thank_you_guys/
So as I said I'm drunk. This thread tho. You guys help me. I've lost like 5 pounds in 3 days. I throw up. Everything and walk about a mile a day. I'm so happy. I'm over 20bs. I've always been heavy but I'm almost under it. And that's my goal. So I throw up everything. I know it's bad but I crave feeling good. I'm really thankful for those who post low cal meals because I want to learn how to keep food down. I want to recover but I want to be skinny more. Idk I love you all

[Rant/Rave] Diagnosed with anorexia, having mixed feelings
Created: Wed Jul 20 11:52:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tseh6/diagnosed_with_anorexia_having_mixed_feelings/

[Rant/Rave] I want to walk my little one down to the park for her swim lesson
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 11:31:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tsaqa/i_want_to_walk_my_little_one_down_to_the_park_for/
But it has to be 100 degrees. The poor child would swelter! I'm mad at the weather for being so nice but so hot and making me lose steps and exercise time lol. Gotta pace the house. Also, I think I might be on my own and I'm scared. I live with my grandparents so I'm not truly alone, but my actions have pushed my SO away so much that I don't deserve him. I wanted a family and to move in together but my habits and vices have destroyed everything. Just feeling sorry for mself. On the brightside I have been consuming a bit less booze (If he leaves, no guarantees that I won't fly right back onto that wagon) and I have been restricting quite well. I also got sick for no reason so yay poop? Lol I hope everything is ok. The only reason I'm not crying is cause once I start it ain't gonna stop. My heart shouldn't race like this 😖

[Other] How('s/'d) your lunch go everyone? What did you have?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 143.1 | 23.17 | -50ish | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 11:12:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ts7gp/howsd_your_lunch_go_everyone_what_did_you_have/

[Discussion] Just realised a weird thing I do - eating out of date food when I eat something I shouldn't. Anyone else?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 11:00:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ts550/just_realised_a_weird_thing_i_do_eating_out_of/
I didn't realise I did this, but it hit me today whilst I was picking out particularly manky veg from my bowl. I caved and went to get some extra broccoli and lettuce despite it not being in my plan for the day.. and automatically checked and reached for the out of date packs that I keep in the fridge.

I realised.. I always do this? I keep food well past it sell by date, until it's totally bad and only then do I chuck it. I buy fresh food for my daily diet plan always (I go to the store every day I plan to eat to do this, for my veg), but I always have a back up of out of date food and make myself eat that if I eat something 'extra' that I shouldn't be having.

Huh. Weird. Thinking about it, it kinda feels like a punishment or something. It's weird that I never acknowledged it or purposely did it though.. Thanks, fucked up brain.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 20, 2016
Created: Wed Jul 20 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4truo2/daily_food_diary_july_20_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Thinspo] misc alternative thinspo
/u/chuuta [5'4 | 114.2 | 19.85 | -14.9 | female]
Created: Wed Jul 20 09:54:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trt9x/misc_alternative_thinspo/

[Discussion] Do you feel like people don't like you because of your weight?
Created: Wed Jul 20 09:29:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trol9/do_you_feel_like_people_dont_like_you_because_of/
Hi, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post, but I've always felt like this and most people seem to think I'm insane when I tell them this.

So, I was a pudgy kid (due to medication) and being bullied and fat gave me a bad body image. This carried over into puberty, when I started losing weight. I still felt like I was too fat, and the reason it was hard for me to make friends/get a boyfriend was cause I was too fat and ugly (even though I had a low-normal bmi). Now I'm a bit older, back to the lower normal bmi (after years of weight fluctuation) and still feel like the reason people don't really like me is cause I'm too fat and ugly; I can only make friends online cause I'm pretty sure that people in real life can see just how ugly and fat I am, and that I am too unappealing to be their friend. It's really depressing but I can't find any other reasoning, because I'm very kind to people!

Again, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post, but I just wanted to know if anyone can relate. I don't know anyone with an ED so when I ask the people I do know they seem to think I'm crazy. Anyway, thanks.

[Discussion] Fitbit . Is it worth it?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Wed Jul 20 09:11:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trlb1/fitbit_is_it_worth_it/
My primary form of exercise is walking, and i try to do a lot of it, atleast 10k steps. i have a bunch of pedometers that are on my phone , but i just feel very nervous about them over estimating. Also i will be maintaining very soon and thought one may help .

So im thinking about grabbing a fitbit flex, (cause it seems to be the cheapest and i like the simple look of it)

So... CMON PROED tell me how this thing changed your life !!! make me spend the 60$!

[Other] Holy shit, Pokemon Go
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 08:34:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trev3/holy_shit_pokemon_go/
Sorry for yet another post raving about Pokemon Go but holy shit I just ran/walked 4 miles to hit a bunch of pokestops and a gym. I've always called myself a "runner" but it was usually just a super slow mile that justified my pigging out later or I'd run regularly for a few weeks and then give up. Even though my time wasn't impressive by any means (just under an hour if you take out my standing at the gym for a while), it felt so good to be moving and burning off my weekend. Now I'm drinking a bunch of water and just took an EC stack so hopefully I can fast until dinner. Anyone have tips on reducing soreness so I can go out again tomorrow without feeling like crap?

[Intro] [Intro] So I've been lurking
Created: Wed Jul 20 08:24:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trd74/intro_so_ive_been_lurking/
I will admit, it was the fabled "AskReddit" post that alerted me to the existence of this sub... I've been poking around because I was curious about a community of other people with eating disorders, and you guys are just the sweetest sub on reddit! The community here is so supportive and kind, and you understand each other so well. It makes me feel less alone in my ED (even if I have only been lurking with no formal introduction) and I really appreciate that :)

[Rant/Rave] So frustrated
/u/operadiva31 [5'6" | CW 212.4 lbs | 34.42 | -25.2 lbs | UGW 131 lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 20 08:14:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4trbka/so_frustrated/
I'm super frustrated today. I restricted really heavily most of yesterday, until my boyfriend got home from work (had some leftover broccoli in oyster sauce, but purged it), and then had a single Thai summer roll and some mango sticky rice, totaling 535 calories. I woke up today and had gained half a pound. I'm pissed. I walked so much this weekend, and ate decently, and I'm still up in weight. Grrrrrrrrrr!!!

[Tip] [Tip] Varying ways of eating helped me with bingeing
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:55:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr8ee/tip_varying_ways_of_eating_helped_me_with_bingeing/

[Discussion] Low calorie alcohol???
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:47:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr77p/low_calorie_alcohol/
Hey, lurker here. I'm going away this weekend to do some surfing with some friends. It's a camping thing and they're all talking about taking loads of booze etc and I was wondering a) if you guys go out and drink and b) what do you drink? There are so many calories in alcohol... Normally I'd just stick to weed but I'm pretty prone to getting munchies haha and will just end up binging again. Also, quite nervous about being around in swim stuff, but that's a wholeeee different problem lol.

[Intro] Maybe i fit in here?
/u/Eye8yourcheese [5'2 | 112 | 21.2 | UGW 105 | 31yo F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:41:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr6bq/maybe_i_fit_in_here/
Hi ProED. I've lurked on my main account for months but didn't feel safe posting, I like to believe I don't have an ED. Reading a lot. I'm not sure if I fit here either. I'm no anorexic, I'm not underweight, just obsessed with food. I consider myself an addict who switched from drugs to food and purging.

I don't fast, starve, or restrict. I don't weigh myself a lot, take lax, or really care about my weight as long as it stays under 120. I don't exercise more than normal. I never count calories or use MFP. I don't do crash diets or fat diets. I don't take uppers or diuretics. I don't want to weigh 80lbs or look emaciated.

I do, however, obsess about food. I'm a stay at home mom of 4 kids and a crap load of animals, so pretty much my entire day is spent doing food related stuff. I cook, I garden, I can/preserve/freeze, I trade at farmer's markets, I milk the goats and gather the eggs from the chickens, I prepare meals, I bake, I shop, I go to food banks all over the county. I look up and write down recipes, collect food coupons, download shopping apps.

And of course I eat! 3-4 big binges a day, most of which I purge (maybe 75%? Ish?) and when I have the house to myself I'm always stuffing my face. I shoplift tons of food, even made an Instagram of my stolen food. I drink to excess. I barf till I bleed. I do cheap buffets and make myself entire pots of spaghetti or fried rice. I eat anything and everything. Even if I don't like a food, I'll probably still eat it. And once I start, I can't stop.

I've been to treatment twice, once I was diagnosed COE and bulimia. The other time atypical anorexia bp subtype (which is baloney IMO, I'm too fat and gluttonous to be ana).

So... does my fat ass fit in here with y'all beautiful skinny folks?

[Meme/Humor] Tfw you're in the middle of b/p and you hear someone coming up the stairs (last meme I promise haha)
/u/emptymamii [5'5" | 101 | 16.8 | GW: 84 | 21F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:40:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr66q/tfw_youre_in_the_middle_of_bp_and_you_hear/

[Discussion] Catch me up on all the gossip!
/u/satanAMA [173cm (5'9) | 63kg (141lbs) | 21 | 27kg (60lbs) | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:34:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr596/catch_me_up_on_all_the_gossip/
(on mobile sorry)

apparently we've been getting hate? maybe it's just down to great moderation and not subbing the right (wrong) subreddits, but I haven't seen any. what's up?

also that reminds me. were we linked to in an AskReddit post? I heard something about that..

[Goal] Officially 40 lbs lost since March and can see wrist bones again.
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:20:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr3bu/officially_40_lbs_lost_since_march_and_can_see/

[Thinspo] [thinspo] morning legs
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Wed Jul 20 07:19:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tr34s/thinspo_morning_legs/

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday July 20, 2016
Created: Wed Jul 20 06:03:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqt2k/way_to_go_wednesday_july_20_2016/

This is the weekly achievement thread for July 20, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Goal] Halloween goals
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:59:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqslg/halloween_goals/
I've given up on not having the body composition of an arctic seal for the summer, but halloween is 103 days away. I've managed to binge myself back up to 140, and I want to be 114 for halloween to get my BMI under 20.

I want to continue to wear my less revealing clothes and then on Halloween wear some hot as shit outfit. So here we go. 103 days. 26 pounds. Lezdodis

[Rant/Rave] All my friends are out clubbing tonight
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:48:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqrbl/all_my_friends_are_out_clubbing_tonight/
And I'm sitting at home. I was invited, but I haven't replied to my facebook messages in weeks. I think I did want to go out, but I've binged for the past couple of days and couldn't justify the 800 odd calories from alcohol tonight. God knows I ended up over 1000 anyway. I flaked on a night out last week as well, because I was on a good run of restriction and didn't want to mess it up with alcohol.

It's so easy for me to isolate myself in the holidays. I stay in the house, sitting on the couch and eating and hating myself for it, but whenever I get a chance to leave the house, I don't. I am so tired of this, and I'm so tired of sabotaging myself.


[Rant/Rave] I just wanted to say thank you
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:41:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqqhv/i_just_wanted_to_say_thank_you/
This subreddit has been getting a lot of criticism lately and it's honestly heartbreaking.

You guys are wonderful people. I have never been part of a subreddit this welcoming and kind. We all care about each other. And despite our disordered thoughts, we still care about each other's health and well-being.

This is such an amazing community. And I feel like we need people in our lives who understand us and what we're going through. It's really hard when people go in our "safe space" and call us fucked up for enabling each other when all we're trying to do is find and give support.

I might be a bit late to the whole thing but I just wanted to say thank you to each and everyone of you. You are all such beautiful people and I'm lucky to have found this subreddit.

[Tip] Rice Krispies
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:15:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqnn5/rice_krispies/
So I came to a realization during breakfast this morning. Rice Krispies have a HUGE portion size for just 130 calories (170 with milk), and they have an oddly large number of essential nutrients. I don't know about you guys, but my body is quite low on Iron so I've been trying to find iron rich food or supplements (that don't cause constipation,which is a side effect). Rice Krispies have 50% of your daily value for Iron and for Folic Acid. I don't know if you guys know what Folic Acid is, but it is recommended that all women of reproductive age (~14-50 years) get the recommended daily value. This is because it helps prevent birth defects (I work with pregnant moms sometimes), but also it helps with hair/skin/nails health. I've found most gummy vitamins DON'T have iron or folic acid in them, which is why I don't use gummies. I just thought I'd let you all know in case this information might be helpful :)

[Other] Inpatient Update #2
Created: Wed Jul 20 05:04:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tqmex/inpatient_update_2/

[Discussion] So I usually weigh myself first thing in the morning but on a whim decided to weigh myself before bed...
/u/weedecrestrictrepeat [5'4" | 127.0 | 21.80 | -6.2 | 24/F]
Created: Wed Jul 20 01:22:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tq05n/so_i_usually_weigh_myself_first_thing_in_the/
...and I weigh less than I did this morning! 4.4 lbs less, to be exact. I usually try to avoid weighing at night because 99% of the time I gain a few pounds of water weight and go to bed feeling like a failure.

But tonight was different. I went to my friend's house to watch the latest ep of The Bachelorette (obsessed) and ended up drinking wine and eating cheese with them. I was mad at myself for ruining all of the fasting progress I made today, and felt inclined to see what the scale had to say about it. I'm still really curious to see where I'm at in the morning but more than that I'm bewildered. Has anyone else experienced this?

[Intro] I just counted, my dance team audition is in 70 days, and I can't deal with how I look in dance clothes.
/u/minibreak [5'8 | 139.4 | 21.2 | -4.6 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 23:10:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpl1j/i_just_counted_my_dance_team_audition_is_in_70/
I've always had disordered eating patterns. I've been fine for the past couple of years, but I'm auditioning for my college dance team and taking a lot of dance classes and having to constantly look at my full body in the mirror...yikes. I guess I have 70 days to look my best.

[Rant/Rave] if eating poorly wasn't the norm I doubt I would have an ED
Created: Tue Jul 19 23:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpjxi/if_eating_poorly_wasnt_the_norm_i_doubt_i_would/

[Rant/Rave] breakfast is basically just dessert
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Tue Jul 19 23:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpjmu/breakfast_is_basically_just_dessert/
Bagels. Muffins. Donuts. Cereals. Pastries. Cream coffees. Smoothies. "Coffee cake." Tarts. Waffles. Pancakes. Crepes.

But arbitrarily, if I ate three snickers bars for breakfast people would find it "unhealthy." You're just eating the same sugar and the same calories in another form, friends.

Even with an ED, I'm healthier than at *least* half of Americans. It's absolutely amazing.

[Help] Tips on decreasing food/calorie intake
/u/throwawayed865 [5'9" | Fat | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 22:19:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpedm/tips_on_decreasing_foodcalorie_intake/

[Rant/Rave] [rant] Update from camping hell
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Tue Jul 19 22:15:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpdw4/rant_update_from_camping_hell/
I'm losing it out here. My mom is basically forcing food on me and I'm eating at ~1200 a day. Breakfast and dinner are mandatory and if I'm not shoveling food down my throat like the rest of my fat-ass family (sorry that was mean but I can't deal) she starts asking me, "what's wrong? Why aren't you eating? Eat more." I cannot wait to go back home to my apartment and restrict and fast and just be free from this awful experience. I can't even enjoy this camping trip because I'm so anxious about eating and this food.

I'm trying to figure out how to get out of breakfast tomorrow. I think I'm just going to "sleep in". Aaafghfjejwkekf.


[Help] Is pineapple really only 50 cals per 100g??
Created: Tue Jul 19 22:06:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpcnj/is_pineapple_really_only_50_cals_per_100g/
It just seems too good to be true. My calorie goal today is 300 cals so I was planning on eating 600g of pineapple but I want to make sure first.

Please help! Thank you <3

[Tip] Tips on decreasing calorie/food intake
Created: Tue Jul 19 22:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tpc5b/tips_on_decreasing_caloriefood_intake/

Sub Wide 5-Day fast?
Created: Tue Jul 19 20:39:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tozty/sub_wide_5day_fast/

[Help] Where to get EC stacks in US
Created: Tue Jul 19 19:30:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4top0c/where_to_get_ec_stacks_in_us/
Hi long time stalker first time poster
Everyone talks about EC stacks and when I google it comes with ECA but I've abused pain pills in past and I'm afraid I'll hurt liver so does anyone know where to just get EC stacks

Also I have nexplanon so does anyone know if it'll effect that?

Thanks for everything in advanced and sorry if I'm doing this all wrong.

[Intro] Just broke up with the most wonderful man ever and I'm too excited about an excuse not to eat to be upset over it.
/u/Fanashit [5'4" |130 | 22.75 | -55lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 19:16:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tomrt/just_broke_up_with_the_most_wonderful_man_ever/
Everyone loved us together. I still love us together. It hurts a lot, even though he's still going to be a part of my life, but I have to admit, I'm excited. It's totally normal for someone's appetite to go away after a breakup. I can get away with eating absolutely nothing for a while and just say I can't keep food down since the breakup. I said that to a friend today when she asked what I'm doing for dinner and she just nodded and said to drink some tea.

It's a bit motivating, too. He got me comfortable enough with my body to get naked with groups of people and now I'm more motivated to lose more weight to have something worth showing off. There's a planned group naked/sexual party next month at his house and I'm so excited for it.

I've been lurking for a while on my main and I already feel so at home here among people I know will understand!

I never eat before work, everyone knows I don't eat at work, and now I don't have to eat after work because I'm not going to his house and nobody will hear my stomach growl and try to give me food. I already feel so much more relaxed.

[Starting from here!](http://i.imgur.com/2Aqd2Ot.png)

[Thinspo] I am so sick of the summer...have some cold weather thinspo
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 19:06:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tol9q/i_am_so_sick_of_the_summerhave_some_cold_weather/

[Rant/Rave] Self sabotage
/u/namasteriteherr [5'0" | 102lbs | 19.92|-61F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 18:27:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4toffy/self_sabotage/

I've been binging like crazy lately I normally eat between 400 and 600 calories a day which NORMALLY is enough for me now I'm double- triple that. And yes I'm aware in my rational brain that double- triple 400 calories is relatively normal to low but tell that to my irrational fat shaming brain. I get through the day fine then BAM home from work and I don't stop eating. To top it off I haven't exercised in about 3 weeks. No running, no fitness blender no gym IN THREE FRIGGIN WEEKS. What's my deal you may ask? I'm lazy and just want to sleep after work. I lack motivation. I finally hit 105 and I'm back peddling and have become lazy. What is wrong with me!?!?!??! What gives I just want to be normal.

[Rant/Rave] Just having a bad couple of days...
/u/moonshineknox [5'6" | 100 | 16.21| -15| F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 16:51:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnzyi/just_having_a_bad_couple_of_days/
I have had extremely bad binging episodes for two weeks and will go back and forth of being like "ok you don't look that bad" to "wow, you are a fat cow"....

With my ED, depression, anxiety, drug use, other personal issues sometimes I wish I could just let my ED kill me so that I don't have to do this all anymore.

I don't know how to get out of this rut and I can't even go one day without annoying everyone I care about.

I don't even know what the point of this post is either. I guess just a "rant".

Thanks for being such a supportive community for me to go to when I need help. You guys are the best.

[Rant/Rave] Mom, please don't make promises for me...
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 16:36:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnxiu/mom_please_dont_make_promises_for_me/
I'm going to the ocean Saturday with my parents to visit some family. We're having dinner there, which is fine, I probably won't eat until dinner. BUT she told our family I'm making chocolate cake that I make for birthdays sometimes. Are you serious? And since it's a road trip they'll probably make me get fast food. I'm so fucking scared.

Edit: Okay, I just told her I don't want to have it because it's literally 500 calories/piece. She's annoyed but said that's fine, although now she wants smores. Why do we have to have dessert? Dessert is not a meal.

[Rant/Rave] I love love love Pokémon Go
Created: Tue Jul 19 16:22:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnv4z/i_love_love_love_pokémon_go/
I know, there are already so many of these threads but I just had to share my excitement. The game was just recently released in my country and I've been playing non-stop. I like gaming but I have the problem that I can't focus on playing for a long time but it's so different with Pokémon Go. I'm walking around all day, with all my attention on the game (and of course some on walking around safely...) and I've already met so many nice people.

But yeah, I love that it makes me walk, not just a bit but the whole day! It's summer break right now and usually, I'd be just sitting around all lazy but now, I actually have something really fun **and** active to do. And it also makes me forget everything else, which is super nice.

[Discussion] DAE's mood get completely influenced by the scale?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 16:18:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnula/daes_mood_get_completely_influenced_by_the_scale/
Ugh this is so frustrating... i feel so bad. I become horribly irritable and depressed if the scale doesn't do what I want it to do.

Today, I woke up 1.1 lbs heavier than yesterday and I just went into a funk and cried for hours. A few hours and bottles of water later and I'm down 2.2 from this morning now I feel elated and happy again.

The emotion fluctuation is probably the most annoying thing to everyone else I know, and I feel guilty for it :(

Anyone else get this? Is there any way to make this not as severe?

[Intro] Hello
/u/notaverygoodplan [5'4" | CW 190lbs | 33.2 | F | GW 110lbs by 12/27]
Created: Tue Jul 19 15:48:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnpib/hello/
Hi everyone!
This is my introduction post, I am very glad to have found this subreddit. I frequent here quite a bit, and it's very helpful to me to know that I am not alone.
I don't really know if I have anorexia or bulimia because I've never been small enough to really think I have a problem.
The main reason I am here though is because while lurking I have realized that I have a lot of thoughts and actions similar to some of the people here. I have also noticed that my excessive eating habits are technically known as binge eating disorder.
Anyways, hello and welcome to me.

[Discussion] What's something you know without a doubt you're going to binge on later today?
Created: Tue Jul 19 15:19:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnkiz/whats_something_you_know_without_a_doubt_youre/

[Discussion] Do you ever eat frozen meals like lean cuisine?
Created: Tue Jul 19 15:13:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnjgq/do_you_ever_eat_frozen_meals_like_lean_cuisine/
I'm a big "counter" but I don't like counting... Sometimes it feels easier to just have two frozen meals a day and not think about it. Do you ever eat those meals with the counts already done for you?

[Help] help | stopping a purge
/u/texas_native [5'6" | 118 | 19.05 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 14:52:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnfn0/help_stopping_a_purge/
i need some advice if anyone has some...

because i'm used to restricting, i haven't had the urge to purge in a while. well, that ended yesterday; after staring into the toilet debating which way i wanted to feel. i really don't like purging, and i'm afraid this has once again opened the door of 'it's okay' -- not that what i do is any better, but this one is a slippery slope for me.

do any of you have tactics to help *stop* you from purging? any distraction methods? any mantras? hoping to not need them, but knowing i probably will.

[Help] German Vacation ((HELP I'M FREAKING OUT))
/u/boredzoi [5'10| 135 | 19.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 14:39:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tndfo/german_vacation_help_im_freaking_out/
AAAAAAA!!! So here's the great news- it's my first trip outside the US and I'm having a great time with everything!! Its absolutely perfect except for one thing..... the food.

Holy mother of Martin Luther I think my brain is going to short circuit from all this food anxiety!! Everything is so greasy and it's like the 3 main food groups are meat, carbs, and liquid carbs (beer).

How the hell am I gonna survive these two weeks??!?! I don't know the nutrition info for anything, and I can't speak German so i have no idea what the menu says... plus I just binged all last week and I desperately need to fix my diet before my b/p-ing makes me even fatter!!

I'm going to be eating out almost every night, and I'll be surrounded by family so fasting isn't an option... how do I fix this?? I seriously don't know how I'm going to survive this trip...

(That being said if pork wasn't a fear food and if I didn't have serious ocd issues with grease I'd be living it up, the food looks so good... but the disorder...)

[Thinspo] She's not stick-thin, but dammit I worship Kayla Hadlington. <3
/u/lithelife [5'4''| CM: 35-27-39| GM: 33-23-36 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 14:35:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tncne/shes_not_stickthin_but_dammit_i_worship_kayla/

[Rant/Rave] The hottest day of summer in the UK...
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 14:32:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tnc6y/the_hottest_day_of_summer_in_the_uk/
... Leads to BBQs, chocolate and wine. God damnit. Thank god this is a once a year weather event. I've eaten 1800 calories today at least. I'm so annoyed with myself.

[Other] When you are at 400 after dinner
Created: Tue Jul 19 13:04:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmvaa/when_you_are_at_400_after_dinner/
And then you eat 4 (?!?!) peaches, an Apple and like half a pineapple.


I need a little reminder sometimes, maybe some of you can benefit too~
Created: Tue Jul 19 13:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmv0j/i_need_a_little_reminder_sometimes_maybe_some_of/

[Discussion] What are your daily calorie targets?
Created: Tue Jul 19 12:55:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmthj/what_are_your_daily_calorie_targets/
Just curious. I like to compare myself to others for some reason. My magic number is 800. I don't know why. I can't take my brain off that number no matter what I do, I just can shake it...

[Other] What are some other subs you guys follow?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 12:18:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmm1f/what_are_some_other_subs_you_guys_follow/
This account is exclusively for my ED, was wondering what else is out there. So far I have r/thinspiration, r/kpopfap, r/fasting... Maybe r/skincareaddiction? I dunno.

[Discussion] Good binging?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 12:05:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmjj0/good_binging/
Lately, I've been hungry enough to the point where I don't really care what I eat as long as I eat, so I've been using my binge moments to have salad, veggies, and pickles. Really feel like I'm on to something here. I feel like I'm reprogramming my brain to crave better, healthier(ish) food which could be a great turning point for my progress. Has anyone else had experience with this? Did it last?

Not gonna lie though, I was playing the sims last night and my sim was craving chocolate chip cookies. Y'all it took everything I had not to go to the store at midnight zonked out from Melatonin, and buy cookie dough. Still day dreaming about freshly baked cookies.

[Help] Therapist said he'd be "VERY concerned" if I went under 120 lbs.. I'm 5'4!!
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 125 lbs | 21.9 | -115 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 11:28:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tmc58/therapist_said_hed_be_very_concerned_if_i_went/
Hi everybody,

I just had an appointment with my therapist yesterday, and before I went in I was feeling really good but now I'm just confused/frustrated.

I've been really active and have had less anxiety over eating because of how active I've been, so I was feeling pretty proud of that. I also told him that I upped my goal weight from 108 lbs to 115. He said that while that was good, it was smaller than my original goal right (don't even remember what it was) and that I'm right where I should be and if I fall below 120 he'll be very concerned and see that as a big alarm bell.

I'm confused. I'm 5'4 so that is well within my weight range, plus not even the smallest I could be. I'm frustrated because I thought it was safely attainable and not too extreme, but after him saying that and my family starting to worry about me, I'm getting the feeling if I continue to lose like I want people will be on my booty about it.

Anybody have any experience with this? Should I just aim for 120 or go more slowly so people don't get too worried?

[Rant/Rave] Depressed. Found out I'm not going to meet goal weight by September...
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 10:56:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tm5z6/depressed_found_out_im_not_going_to_meet_goal/
The past two weeks were really hard on me and I abandoned everything for a while... I wasn't working or studying really, and binged nearly everyday (2000 - 3000 cal a day). I didn't gain too much weight thankfully but I am upset because now that I have my head on straight and sat down to look at the damage... all that wasted time means I won't meet my goal weight by September. Both losertown and loseit said I'd make it by early October. Getting back to campus in a body I felt good in was a major motivator for me, and now it's gone.

This is not helping things because when I'm depressed I get REALLY inactive and start emotionally eating, and this is just going to get me stuck in that nasty cycle all over again. If anyone has any words of encouragement I'd really appreciate it. I feel like I'm sinking :(

[Rant/Rave] what the shit is this? emotional vomit, that's what.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 10:42:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tm37h/what_the_shit_is_this_emotional_vomit_thats_what/
I guess I can't be surprised that willful negligence of my diet and exercise has triggered my anxiety and compounded my insomnia.

how much do I weight? I don't fucking knnooowwww!!!!

Did I exercise this morning? no! because I was too fucking tired from the insomnia!

How much did I eat last night? Who fucking knows! I binged on donut holes as soon as I got home because apparently I'm an asshole!

What did I eat for breakfast this morning? My regular breakfast plus a gigantic donut the intern brought in. Why? Because I'm a dickhead!

I've lost my way and I don't know how to get back. I've all but given up on my goal of 110lbs by my birthday.

I use my ED to gloss over what is essentially a maelstrom of emotions. 17 years ago I realized no one truly gives a shit about how I feel, and as long as I play my part (quietly) then life can go on as usual.

People have accused me of lacking empathy. What they doesn't realize is that my perception of empathy is ice cold; no one extended it to me when I needed it the most, so I'll be fucked if someone wants me to play nanny nurse maid with their emotions.

Let me in they say! So I do, then its all ooohh, I can't handle this, you need a therapist, you're too depressed, why don't you cheer up?

You know what? Fuck you then. You don't get access to that part of me anymore. No one does. Don't give me shit about how I'm 'unemotional' and 'unempathetic' and then shove me off cause my shit is too hard to deal with.

You made me this way, this is what you wanted. I was too flawed earlier, to raw and weepy and dramatic. So now I'm not; I'm measured, in control, cold and distant. I don't react, I don't cry, I think before I speak and I present logical solutions rather than emotional pandering.

Now this is a problem? Well to bad, shit head. I've only made it this far by starving the chaos and driving it into submission with regimentation. You don't get to take any of this away from me because I won't give you an emotional hand job. You got problems? Tough shit sugar tits, we all do, **and no one cares**.

ETA: I felt it last night, since then I've been trying to ignore it but its true. My self injury impulse is back. Fuuuuuuuuuuck me. Just what I need to deal with on top of feeling like a bloated piece of shit. ಠ_ಠ Like seriously, I'm too old for this shit, but this urge always springs up when I feel out of control. This urge is the reason my right forearm is scar tissue, and why I didn't fall too far into an ED when I was a teen. So wat do? Skip lunch, channel the urge into overt hunger pains? Eat lunch and punch my thighs?

I feel like a snail desiccated by salt.

[Thinspo] Things Plus-Size Girls Can't Do - reverse thinspo
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Tue Jul 19 10:29:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tm0q7/things_plussize_girls_cant_do_reverse_thinspo/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 19, 2016
Created: Tue Jul 19 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlvlc/daily_food_diary_july_19_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Goal] my very sweaty progress (?) photo
/u/Bae-side [5'5 | 125| 20.8| F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 09:39:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlr81/my_very_sweaty_progress_photo/

[Rant/Rave] DAE have a friend that they absolutely love, but also hate at times?
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:118 | BMI:20.66 | GW:108 | F -10lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 19 09:21:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlnw1/dae_have_a_friend_that_they_absolutely_love_but/
So my best friend in the world of 16 years- I love her to pieces, she's like my other half. But sometimes....idk it feels like she flaunts her best traits in the most annoying way.

I've never been the skinny friend which I guess wouldn't be so bad except I'm not the pretty one either. I'm not saying I'm ugly, but she's definitely gorgeous and preferred. So she's skinny, beautiful and has a perfect body and yet I hear her all the time complaining about her (non-existent) beer belly or complaining that her boobs are getting bigger, or that no matter how much she eats she can never gain any weight. Ugh, I get it, you're perfect.... and lately since I've been losing weight she told me how she's started running in the morning. Like...it sucks and I feel really petty but, it just seems like the moment I'm starting to feel myself improve there she is to remind me that'll she'll always be better.

I do love her, she's my sister and I would do anything for her but being around her lately has made me feel so shitty. Sorry for the rant, I just can't really talk to anyone else about this, ya know?

[Rant/Rave] Literally a life saver
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | CW: 162 | GW: 110 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 09:16:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tln07/literally_a_life_saver/

[Help] Low cal alcoholic drinks?
Created: Tue Jul 19 09:04:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlknf/low_cal_alcoholic_drinks/
I have an alcohol problem but it's keeping me away from my GW. :'( Do any of you lovelies have suggestions for 50-60 cal alcoholic drinks I can find? Thank you! <3

[Other] Been in the hospital since Friday
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 143.6 | 24.27 | -17.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 08:54:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tliwm/been_in_the_hospital_since_friday/
Hey all,
I've been in the hospital since Friday afternoon with a collapsed lung, so nothing related to my ED at all. I was having chest pains and shortness of breath so I was scared it was something to do with the EC stacks I take sometimes, but it ended up that my left lung was almost all the way collapsed. I've never mentioned my ED before to Drs and plan on keeping it that way. It's just so hard being in the hospital and eating three square a day, plus the narcotics I've been having are making me incredibly constipated. Haven't pooped since Friday morning and I feel like I'm making a huge baby. I miss my safe food and restricting. I miss being at home. I hate having two tubes in between my ribs to get everything out. Jut so sick of it all.

[Other] where is a good digital place to keep notes/ideas/diary entries?
/u/sveltevelvet [5"8 | GW: 105-115 | -16 lbs | 18F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 08:06:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tlagl/where_is_a_good_digital_place_to_keep/
I want to write some things down, like food diaries in a personal way, on my computer so that my family won't see it. I also don't end up checking physical notebooks often

I have tried tumblr, google docs, etc., do you have any reccs for places to keep notes?

[Discussion] Has anyone tried doTerra's Slim & Sassy line? They have appetite suppressing bars and instant drink mix, along with digestive promoting soft gels and shakes
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:39:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl5tr/has_anyone_tried_doterras_slim_sassy_line_they/

[Meme/Humor] Tfw you just ate a billion calories and all of a sudden a super skinny person walks near you
/u/emptymamii [5'5" | 101 | 16.8 | GW: 84 | 21F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:32:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl4tl/tfw_you_just_ate_a_billion_calories_and_all_of_a/

[Rant/Rave] I gained a pound and I am positively livid
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:29:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl4b5/i_gained_a_pound_and_i_am_positively_livid/

[Rant/Rave] i binge less when i'm not actively restricting?
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:25:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl3qv/i_binge_less_when_im_not_actively_restricting/
recently i've been eating hardly anything on days where i'm not actively restricting / meticulously counting calories, yet on days where i restrict actively i almost always binge (yesterday i tried to eat a number of tiny meals and binged anyways, yet usually i can get by on liquids alone).

it's so confusing and i'm annoyed. ew.

[Help] Teeth Whitening - Does anyone do this?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Tue Jul 19 07:03:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tl062/teeth_whitening_does_anyone_do_this/
Between the occasional cigarette and all the diet soda, I'm worried about staining. I use a whitening toothpaste and mouthwash. But I'm worried these might not be sensitive enough since I also purge?

Idk, I don't want to damage my teeth by whitening, but don't want them super yellow.

Any suggestions? Or your current routine?

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 19, 2016
Created: Tue Jul 19 06:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkryb/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_19_2016/

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Discussion] Question about recovery: Is it true that you have to eat a ridiculous amount of calories if you go into recovery?! Anyone with experience?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 19 05:36:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkolp/question_about_recovery_is_it_true_that_you_have/
Something happened on Sunday that made me look more into recovery and read a little about fixing my eating habits. I've tried not to think about it but it's been playing on my mind and I finally feel like I had to ask..

I read that if you go to the doctor, and go and get help, they want you to eat like 3000 calories a day?! AND ban you from exercise?

Like, why?! Does anyone know more about this? I'm not ready for recovery anyway, but I looked at it, and now I feel pretty terrified at the thought of ever doing it.. apparently you're banned from exercise until you gain weight too?

[Rant/Rave] Why don't people get that I don't want to celebrate things with food
Created: Tue Jul 19 05:34:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkoda/why_dont_people_get_that_i_dont_want_to_celebrate/
No, I don't want fucking peaches because I got into college, or margaritas, or fresh French bread, or go out for dinner. Please stop, you are making me upset instead of happy.

[Rant/Rave] Forming awesome habits. Really proud and I just felt like sharing with people who get it.
/u/Jaaasss [5'3 | 114 | 21.2 | GW 100| F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 04:58:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkjzx/forming_awesome_habits_really_proud_and_i_just/
I've been visiting my parents the past week, and have been giving into my cravings (how could I not when my mum makes amazing irresistible vegan food) - but instead of feeling guilty, hating myself and purging, i've been getting up, and working it all off. Ate some vegan pies, went and ran 7km. Had dinner with my bestie, did a 500 calorie workout afterwards. Ate some vegan cookies, jumped on the treadmill. I'm actually DOING it. Not just saying to myself "ill run off this pizza when i'm done".

Not only am I actually EXERCISING which is awesome itself, but i'm not feeling guilty, staying under my 500 calorie goals, still losing weight and getting to eat some rad stuff. I mean ideally i'd like to avoid eating the crap AT ALL but this is so much better than crying in bed.

It's all about forming habits y'all!! xx

[Rant/Rave] Nervous About Lunch
Created: Tue Jul 19 04:33:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tkh4i/nervous_about_lunch/

[Rant/Rave] "So you're like one of those naturally skinny people?"
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 19 01:10:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tjv2b/so_youre_like_one_of_those_naturally_skinny_people/
Said last night. I was at running club talking to a buddy of my fathers. We were talking about activity and he was surprised to hear I go to the gym three times a week as well as running with them twice a week, because I 'don't need to lose weight' (he's a slightly chunkier guy, fantastic runner though and made brilliant progress already).

Don't get me wrong, this dude is actually very sweet. Very, very friendly guy who always has a smile and I enjoy saying Hi to him when I see him a lot. But this annoyed me, because

A) Erm.. you just heard that I run twice a week and go to the gym three times a week, yet now you're asking whether I'm 'one of those naturally skinny people'? Do you not make the connection already that NO, I actually put work in?


B) Just fucking no in general. Why do people even make this assumption? I used to weigh over 230lbs. Not weighing that any more took WORK. Sweat and many tears. And hunger. Of course, I can't pretend here on this sub that I 'did it properly/healthily' (although I did pretend to him that I did) but that doesn't stop it being effort. It would have been effort if I did it 'healthily' or not.

Nothing natural about this, and very rarely do people get to be skinny without putting at least some sort of effort in in this day and age - calories being so readily available and horribly delicious. I did get a fist bump when I told him what I used to weigh though and he was impressed. Again, friendly guy, even if his comment was misguided and made me rage inside.

I did accidentally let slip to him that I want to lose more weight though (Him: "*You go to the gym three times a week? But you certainly don't need to lose weight!*" Me, not thinking properly/in my own world, automatic response - "*Well I really do, I need to lose about 5lbs at least*"). I've been telling my father I'm not thinking of losing weight to stop him from worrying and get him off my back about it, and since this was my fathers buddy.. kind of worries he will mention it to Dad, especially since he looked kinda shocked. Eh, oops. I guess I can explain it away to my father somehow.

[Discussion] It's so exciting having a plan!
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 01:08:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tjurb/its_so_exciting_having_a_plan/
I have a plan now.

A plan where I cam be my goal weight by the end of my first month of university (round 2). And I can be a semi decent weight by frosh week!

I just get so excited when I have a plan.

Its not even crazy unhealthy either. 2 or 3 pounds a week, max, so my boyfriend can't say shit.

MyFitnessPal lets you set a similar plan.


I'm just so excited to be the best version of me that I'm not even thinking about the stress of trying to lose weight. I'm just excited to like my body.

I took a before picture and I wanted to vomit, but soon, in just 10 weeks, I won't want to vomit anymore, and I cannot wait.

[Other] You know you belong here when your phone looks like this...
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | CW 136 | GW 128 | UGW 115 | 19F]
Created: Tue Jul 19 01:00:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tjtug/you_know_you_belong_here_when_your_phone_looks/

[Help] I drink a lot and barely eat but am not losing weight
Created: Mon Jul 18 21:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tizz1/i_drink_a_lot_and_barely_eat_but_am_not_losing/

[Goal] I avoided binging today!
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 20:56:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tizbj/i_avoided_binging_today/
I've struggled with BED for years and have lately had more trouble with it because I've not been preoccupied with school or any activities. When I have free time, it gets extra bad, because I have no distractions. I'm better at restricting during school because it's such a huge distraction for me. Today, I even resisted the urge to get fries at McDonald's and settled for a diet cherry coke instead. So I'm pretty proud!

[Other] Goodnight everyone, I hope you wake up tmrw another pound down and closer to your goal weights.
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 20:53:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiyrz/goodnight_everyone_i_hope_you_wake_up_tmrw/

[Help] gaining even though eating consistently under bmr?
/u/negativeraisins [5'0" | 69 lb | 14.19 | -53 lb | FTM]
Created: Mon Jul 18 20:29:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiux4/gaining_even_though_eating_consistently_under_bmr/
hey guys, I'm sorry that I haven't been very active as of late. I've not had easy access to Internet for a while, and still don't, and this is on mobile again (as always) but I'm really starting to freak out.

I finally have ready access to a scale for now, so I've been weighing myself every morning - except 3 days ago I was 35.7 kg, the past two days I was 36 exactly, and this morning I'm 36.2 kg. To be fair, three days ago was when I met with my parents and now that I'm with them I'm forced to eat more, but I've definitely been eating at 1,000 cal/day a less and my BMR at my most strict calculations (very little activity/sedentary, 59.5 inches, female, 16, 35 kg - goal weight) should be 1,053 cal/day. And even so, with constantly rounding up I usually fall 100-200 short of a thousand a day.

If it helps, I haven't had a BM in a while, before I was typically eating from 0-500 cal a day and I've suddenly jumped from walking ~8,000-10,000 steps a day to mostly being sedentary, but by calories I should be maintaining...

Could water weight be accounting for this much? I'm sorry if this is formatted poorly, but I'm freaking out.

[Help] Calorie Tracker with Pedometer?
Created: Mon Jul 18 20:00:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiq9h/calorie_tracker_with_pedometer/
So I track my calories on mfp and I also use a pedometer to see how many calories I burn while I'm at work (I have a fast paced job where I'm jogging around all day), if I eat 800 calories (worst case scenario) and my tracker says I burned like, 300, should I count it as 500 for my day or keep it at 800?? What do you guys do?

[Rant/Rave] i feel like such a fucking failure
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 19:59:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiq10/i_feel_like_such_a_fucking_failure/
last night i was shopping for dresses and i couldn't even fit into a size 3x. today i had a huge binge at lunch. i look like such a pig compared to all of you beauties who post on here. i'm never going to reach my goal. my body is so disgusting. i just wish i could cut all the fat parts off, but then that would be my entire body.

[Rant/Rave] I had my first binge in 2 weeks, but it's OK because it is the smallest binge I have had this year
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 19:49:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tiodh/i_had_my_first_binge_in_2_weeks_but_its_ok/
I'm really proud of myself right now, I know it is silly.

Usually when I binge it is an all day feast from morning till the time I go to bed. My binges would be massive 6k calories +, and I never purged anything up. But not today.

Today I only binged at dinner time, and it was on *good* food. Not my university's nasty dining hall food, which I have to eat gallons of to feel satisfied. I ate copious amounts of my mother's homemade sushi. I drank half a bottle of blueberry wine brewed by a friend of my dad. And for dessert, I gorged myself on green tea ice cream and warm black sesame mian bao (Chinese steamed buns). I'm going to say I consumed around 2300 calories in three hours. And I know I should feel horrible because it is going to set me back a few days, but the crazy thing is..I don't feel bad at all. I feel happy.

I never thought I would say any of this, but here I am. I'm so proud of myself for getting here, because yes even though it is still a binge it is a small one. That's progress, you know? And they say progress leads to success so...I think I am ready for it now.

[Discussion] Xanax and binging
Created: Mon Jul 18 19:21:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tik2m/xanax_and_binging/

[Help] cn: purging, blood, calories ment (more in description)
/u/tartansheep [5'10 | 143lb|20.3 | -13lb| F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:42:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tidp7/cn_purging_blood_calories_ment_more_in_description/
went out drinking (four double vodka and diet cokes. maybe 800 - 1000 cals) after not eatng

got back ate 1 sausage rolll (100) nd purged. saw blood.

not seen blood for a while. long nails?

[Rant/Rave] I'll bet this sub knows what happened here (TW goldfish crackers)
/u/canikeepit [5'4" | 151 | BMI26 | -69 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:36:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ticvz/ill_bet_this_sub_knows_what_happened_here_tw/

[Help] I've eaten 1400 cals a day for 2 weeks. Why do I still so badly want to binge?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:31:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tibwi/ive_eaten_1400_cals_a_day_for_2_weeks_why_do_i/
I'm binging right now. This is so frustrating. Idk why I still have such strong urges.

[Help] Bad friends and Binges
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:29:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tibk1/bad_friends_and_binges/
I'm trying to eat less and stop binging. I'm over 200lbs because of a medication I was on. My friend always wants to go to restaurants. Like unhealthy all you can fast food shit. She knows I have an ED. But she still pushes me. She can't gain weight though. Like 120lbs type and eats everything. Then she talks about how pretty she is and how she could sleep with anyone and poses in ways to give herself a thigh gap and shit and like idk??? What do I do?

[Help] How do you convince yourself to eat? Also, tmi
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:26:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tib1i/how_do_you_convince_yourself_to_eat_also_tmi/
I've been fasting for two days and for the past couple hours I keep vomiting. I've been mixing light salt and normal salt into my tea, but I just keep puking it up. I know my body won't be able to take this much longer, but I'm having trouble motivating myself to eat. I committed myself to a five day fast, I don't want to stop - I'm afraid to eat again...

[Other] My delicious 175 calorie dinner :)
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:08:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ti86n/my_delicious_175_calorie_dinner/

So, this past weekend was pretty "yikes"... I ate probably 1000cal Friday, Sat, and Sunday... and my budget is supposed to be 750. Whoops.

To make up for that, today I had a light breakfast (2 eggs and 1/4 avocado) with coffee, skipped lunch, and now having a really filling low-cal dinner!

Zoodles with Rao's arrabiatta and vidalia onion!

I used 2 medium zucchini's, about 12.5 oz, because I was hungry af, which was about 60 cals according to my LoseIt app! Spiralized (used OXO brand). Then 1/3 cup vidalia onion was 21 cals, and 2/3 cup Arrabiatta was roughly 93 cals!

Simmered sauce with chopped onion while I spiralized the zucchini, then dried lightly salted zucchini over paper towels

Let the sauce simmer and zucchini dry for about 15m.

Lightly sautéed the zucchini in a pan with just a light coating of a zero cal olive oil spray.

Put in a bowl and added the sauce (which should be thickened after simmering) and voilà!!!

Xoxox 😇

[Rant/Rave] I just put a hanger back because it had the "Large" label on it.
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 18:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ti6zr/i_just_put_a_hanger_back_because_it_had_the_large/
You know how clothing stores use those hangers that have the sizes written on the top? Clothing store hangers always work better than normal ones, so whenever I go shopping I ask if I can take some extra ones home with me. Most employees don't mind since they have stock piles in the back.

Anyways, when I was checking out the items I bought today I asked if she had any extra hangers behind the counter I could have. She gladly said yes and stuff three or four into my bag. When she grabbed them I noticed one of them said "L" on top (meaning a large size for un-americans, I'm not sure how that works in other countries!). I panicked. It was like if I had a "Large" labeled hanger in my closet then all of my clothes were larges and I couldn't handle that. I know it doesn't actually mean anything and that wearing a large size isn't too crazy because I know some people wear them just because they're tall, but I couldn't do it. I took the hanger out of the bag, put it on the counter, said thank you, and walked away.

It's like my ED brain is so bad I can barely socially function.

[Help] Does anyone's body dysmorphia prevent them from losing more weight?
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 17:48:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ti4qr/does_anyones_body_dysmorphia_prevent_them_from/
I am not sure if I am the only person in this subreddit who has seen pictures of extremely underweight people, and thought they look too thin.

I don't want to look emancipated. I want to be thin, but I don't want to lose my curves. I'm just worried that I'll hit my goal weight and decide I'm not happy with myself and aim lower, until I do look emancipated but I won't be able to tell because I'm so body dysmorphic. Maybe when I reach a certain weight, I'll become obsessed with parts of my body looking /too/ thin?

I hope so, but I'm not sure that's how eating disorders work.

[Discussion] Does anyone prefer big clothing?
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 95.5 | 18.06 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 17:37:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ti30t/does_anyone_prefer_big_clothing/
There have been a lot of posts lately about finding clothing in one's own size, and it got me thinking of my preferences. I hate having anything tight on my body, I fear people seeing my body. I'm probably a small of XS, but I usually buy medium so I'm swimming in my clothing. I once went as far as having an anxiety attack when my boyfriend tried to get me to go to a party wearing a tight dress (yay for social anxiety and distorted body image) and made him turn around so I could put on baggy jeans and a sweater. Does anyone else feel this way? My mom used to say loose clothing looked better on me and made me look tiny, maybe that has something to do with it.

I just feel kinda crazy.

[Help] Where do you buy your clothes? (Fuck vanity sizing)
/u/Alexa1p [5'5'' | 110 | 18 | -10.7 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 16:57:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4thwet/where_do_you_buy_your_clothes_fuck_vanity_sizing/
Right now I'm wearing a skirt that is extra small from wet seal. But my goal weight is around ten pounds less than my current weight. I'm worried that my clothes will become loose, and I won't be able to find smaller sized clothing. I am trying to save money to put myself through college, so I don't have a lot of extra money to spend on high end clothing.

I hate vanity sizing. Extra small shirts are already too loose on me, and I'm not sure what stores I should visit. (Online suggestions are also welcome, although they would have to meet the criteria of not expensive). Please tell me where you beautiful people buy all of your clothes. <3

[Thinspo] La petite kimiperi
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 15:32:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4thipa/la_petite_kimiperi/

[Discussion] Good Hunger, Bad Hunger
/u/APairofScales [5'6" | CW:Too Much | BMI:Nope| Weight Lost:Too Little | Male]
Created: Mon Jul 18 15:19:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4thgh9/good_hunger_bad_hunger/
Anyone else ever feel a distinction? Sometimes you're hungry but it makes you feel strong, its pleasant, liberating, yet other times you feel weak and desperate, and all you can think about is eating. What causes the distinction, do you think? Is it just a question of mood? Can we 'unlearn' the feeling of weakness that comes with being hungry?

[Discussion] ED article from Buzzfeed showed up on my newsfeed
/u/mace__face [5'6 | CW:118 | BMI:20.66 | GW:108 | F -10lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 18 14:30:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4th86a/ed_article_from_buzzfeed_showed_up_on_my_newsfeed/

[Rant/Rave] I used to want an "official" diagnosis.
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Mon Jul 18 14:07:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4th48o/i_used_to_want_an_official_diagnosis/
I used to want to have proof of what's wrong with me, on paper, because.... well, I don't know. I guess to feel validated. Somehow, having solid proof of the fact that I'm fucked up seemed like a comforting thing. But I don't know if I want that anymore. Because what if I'm not satisfied? What if I think the diagnosis is wrong? What if they tell me there isn't actually anything wrong with me and it's all in my head? What the hell will I do then?

I don't want to have BED. I don't want to be bulimic. I don't even want to be anorexic. But I can't be normal either because that scares me too much. I don't know what the fuck I want.

I wish my way of thinking was normal. I wish I hadn't been raised in a family that pressures me to eat when I'm not hungry because my "body needs nutrients at all times!" I wish not eating was an acceptable thing.

This sucks.

[Help] Can those of you with EDNOS/OSFED tell me about how your ED manifests?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:40:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgzmj/can_those_of_you_with_ednososfed_tell_me_about/
My therapist says I have an ED, but we need to talk in more detail about it to figure out a specific diagnosis. We're doing that tomorrow. I think the most likely thing for me is OSFED, and I want to know your all's experiences with it so I can judge how likely my prediction is.

[Tip] Low-cal options
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:30:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgxwc/lowcal_options/
##Safe foods:

* Apples, 75-116 calories *(depending on the size)*
* Baby carrots, 30 calories in 8
* Baby food, 20-100 calories a container *(depending on what you get)*
* Bananas, 75-120 calories per banana *(depending on size; eat after a purge to restore potassium)*
* Blueberries, 85 per cup
* Blue corn tortilla chips, 90 in 10 chips *(always read labels - my brand of tortilla chips, Don Marcos, has 130 calories in 10 chips..& it’s organic and GMO-free. Don’t believe the hype..sometimes things parading as healthy really aren’t)*
* Broccoli, 50 per cup
* Bullion, 5 a cube
* Cabbage, 40 a cup
* Celery, 6 calories a stalk
* Chicken, 80 in a drumstick & 120 in a small breast
* Crackers, about 60 in 5
* Cucumber, 10 calories per medium-sized
* Egg whites, 15 per egg
* Fat-free or sugar-free yogurt, about 80 per container
* Green beans, 70 a can
* Kiwi, 50 in one medium-sized
* Lettuce, 5 calories in 1 cup shredded
* Nonfat turkey or chicken slices, 20 per slice
* Pickles, 5 in a whole pickle
* Popcorn *(microwaved or air popped as plain kernels without toppings)*, 36 calories a cup
* Quinoa, 85 calories in 1/3 cup *(quinoa is a healthier substitute for rice)*
* Red kidney beans, 85 in 2/3 cup
* Red raspberries, 65 a cup
* Rice cakes, 15 a cake
* Salsa, 60 calories per cup *(pair up with blue corn tortilla chips)*
* Spinach *(fresh in a bag)*, 7 calories per cup
* Squash, about 20-25 a cup
* Strawberries, 45 calories a cup
* Sugar-free Jello, 20 a box
* Tea, 0 calories
* Tomato, 30 calories in one large tomato
* Tomato juice or V8, 60 calories a cup
* Watermelon, 90 calories a cup
* Whole wheat bread, 35-100 per slice *(check brands)*
* Sweet potato, 55 calories in one small sized
* Vegetable soup, about 90 in one cup
* Veggie burger or tofu burger patty, 90 calories *(without bread or dressing)*
* Yam noodles - 0 calories *(and high in fiber, so eat up)*

##Meals under 100 calories

Bacon Eggs & Toast (95)

* 2 egg whites or ¼ cup Eggbeaters (34 calories)
* 1 slice extra lean turkey bacon (20)
* 1 slice light bread (45)

Cobb Salad (95)

* 3 cups salad greens (30)
* 2 slices extra lean turkey bacon (40)
* 1 slice turkey (25)
* Walden Farms dressing (0)

Egg Salad (91)

* 3 egg whites (51)
* 1.5 tbsp fat-free mayo (15)
* 1 tbsp sweet relish (15)
* Dash of mustard (0)
* Lettuce (10)

Baked Tofu Dinner (88)

* 2 oz Tofu, marinate with soy sauce & spices (47)
* 1 cup yellow squash (21)
* ½ cup green beans (2)

Omelette (86)

* 3 egg whites (51)
* 1 slice fat-free cheese (30)
* ¼ cup mushrooms (5)

Soup & Crackers (95)

* 1 cup low-cal soup or broth of choice (70 - *check label*)
* 5 saltine crackers (60)

Oatmeal (95)

* ½ cup cooked oatmeal (75)
* 1 tsp honey (20)

Taco Salad (80)

* 3 cups salad greens (30)
* ¼ cup black beans (40)
* 1 tsp salsa (10)
* Taco Bell red sauce (0)

Tuna Salad (100)

* 2 oz tuna packed in water (60)
* 1 ½ tbsp fat-free mayo (15)
* 1 tbsp relish (15)
* 1 cup lettuce

Boca Burger & Salad (100)

* Boca Burger (70)
* 3 cup salad greens (30)
* Walden Farms dressing (0)

Sandwich & Salad (90)

* 1 slice turkey (25)
* 1 slice light bread (45)
* Mustard (0)
* 2 cups salad greens (20)
* Walden Farms dressing (0)

Tofu Fajita (95)

* 3 oz tofu (70)
* 3/4 cup peppers & onions (25)

[Help] Good Belly Shots + EC Stack Fast Opinions?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:28:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgxhc/good_belly_shots_ec_stack_fast_opinions/
I picked up some Good Belly Straight Shots (30 cal) for my weak stomach. I heard good things about it and how it helps regulate your digestive system.

There's 12 day program with them: http://12day.goodbelly.com/ that would be perfect to do a fast.

I'm planning to do a fast with these shots as well as going back on my EC stack. I want to get better at taking my EC Stack, I felt like I was avoiding taking pills because I didn't want to get addicted, but I do realize how great I felt with taking the stack regularly.

So today I took one Straight Shot then 30 min later I went to on my run. I took one Primatene with a sugar free Red Bull. My stomach is all achey and weird (which is typical with the product) but I'm wondering if these is a good idea?

Any help would good! Thanks :)

[Rant/Rave] Frustrated after spending time with my big sis
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:21:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgw6g/frustrated_after_spending_time_with_my_big_sis/

[Discussion] What's everyone's favorite body parts?
/u/littlestpiglet [5'2" | CW: 102.2 | 18.69/19.36 | UGW: 98 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 13:05:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgthu/whats_everyones_favorite_body_parts/
I think we all spend a lot of time focusing on the parts of our bodies that we don't like and want to change most, but I'm curious to know which of your body parts do you like most?

For me, I absolutely hate my stomach, but I think I've got nice shoulders, nice legs (well, from mid-thigh down), and I love how skinny my wrists are.

What about you guys?

[Discussion] Losertown
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 12:56:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgrtp/losertown/

I was just interested to hear how other people use the calorie counter on losertown. Because I normally have the calculations set to 'couch potato' you know as a worst case, but I actually walk a minimum of 10k per day as well as the occasional gym session, so I don't know if I could maybe set it to 1-3 times a week light exercise? has anyone else set it to this rate and found it to be accurate?

[Goal] Size 00!! Does anyone know if Garage does vanity sizing?
/u/Nude-prude [5"6.5 | 105 lbls | 16.68|-40| female]
Created: Mon Jul 18 12:43:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgpok/size_00_does_anyone_know_if_garage_does_vanity/

[Rant/Rave] Got a huge compliment from a teammate
Created: Mon Jul 18 12:12:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgk10/got_a_huge_compliment_from_a_teammate/
So I can't share my joy with anyone else because I'd probably sound crazy to my friends, but yesterday one of the fellow wrestlers in my organization gave me a huge compliment.

We were shooting promo videos and I had to wear a tiny 60s fembot outfit rather than my normal costume cause of green screen (I normally wear green robo tights). I worked hard all week restricting, fasting, water cut, etc and it showed.

Later in the night, I was alone with one of the girls who is also pretty small compared to the others and who I've always admired since I joined this year. She asked if I worked out since I looked phenomenal and confessed that since I joined I'm her thinspo in that I made her realize she need to step up her game. Whatttttttt. I was on cloud 9. I lied and said I work out all the time when I good well know I've been restricting to much to exercise in this heat all week. Whatever she bought it. Top that off with breaking through 120 finally to 119.4 and yesterday was a really good day!

A little nervous to see how the videos turn out since I couldn't see what I was doing, but thank God it's over! I missed fruit and beans. Also think I need to repeat whatever I did this week to prep for weeks we have shows as well cause I lost 4 lbs (mostly water weight but shhhh).

[Goal] It may not seem like much, but I love my stomach tody!
Created: Mon Jul 18 11:39:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tgdzh/it_may_not_seem_like_much_but_i_love_my_stomach/

[Help] Been in recovery since last year, but I'm still not happy or okay with myself.
Created: Mon Jul 18 10:45:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tg3x1/been_in_recovery_since_last_year_but_im_still_not/

[Rant/Rave] I'm this to a 20 inch waist but i keep binging and fucking up
/u/matchstick_mind [5'0 | CW: 89.5lbs | -36lbs | BMI: 18.41 | 21/F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 10:43:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tg3im/im_this_to_a_20_inch_waist_but_i_keep_binging_and/
I didn't eat a thing yesterday. I felt so good. But literally every day of the week before, I binged. I was 94.5 pounds on Saturday (might've been water weight, I was 91 the morning after). I don't know how, but I actually lost half a pound from my last week's weigh in.

It's driving me mad. I've been at 20.5 inches at my waist for three weeks now. Three weeks! I just want that half an inch to fall off. I want to cut it off. Fuck.

I've been having some really bad thoughts lately. Thoughts about walking into traffic. And wandering around sketchy places at 3 in the morning with only my phone. About wanting to be 77 pounds.

I'm such a fuck.

[Other] high-school athletes
/u/smallpaint [6'2" | 165.2lb | M]
Created: Mon Jul 18 10:38:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tg2lw/highschool_athletes/
The cross country / track team is freaking out right now because our coach just asked everyone to use MFP to log their meals.

"I have to track *everything?*"

Yes. Welcome to my world, friends.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 18, 2016
Created: Mon Jul 18 10:03:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfw3g/daily_food_diary_july_18_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

Tfw you just binged on a billion calories and all of a sudden a super skinny person walks near you
Created: Mon Jul 18 09:33:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfqsm/tfw_you_just_binged_on_a_billion_calories_and_all/

[Intro] I'm 28 and feel too old to be here, but this place comforts me everyday when I read your posts
/u/thinkerbell219 [5'2"| 145 | 26.5 |-12 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 09:24:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfp3i/im_28_and_feel_too_old_to_be_here_but_this_place/
Hi- I've been lurking on this subreddit for several months. You guys seem like the nicest, most encouraging group.

I always had a disordered relationship with food and as a young teen heavily restricted my intake. As I got older, I was more of a binge eater and used food as a source of emotional comfort. I was never super overweight but I really didn't like my body and tried every diet fad to no avail.

Last year, my life completely fell apart when I found out my husband was an addict. We just got married shortly before and it completely made me spiral. I've spent about the last year trying to help him through recovery (and several relapses) and put our marriage back together.

I'm ashamed to say that in the six months following the discovery of his addiction I gained about 20 lbs.

About 8 months ago I woke up and realized I needed to have control over something in my life and figured my own body was probably about the only thing I could control.

It started out by counting calories, but I've become very obsessed with my food intake and my calories burned. I've begun chewing and spitting as a way to prevent binges because I don't have the courage to purge.

I really want to like my body. I'm 5'2" and my current goal is 115. It's taking a long time and it's discouraging.

My therapist suggested I probably have some disordered eating or eating disorder but I just feel old, fat and depressed. What's the diagnosis on that? Ha.

We'll thanks for reading and I'm looking forward to participating here.


[Goal] NSV I fit into my pants
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 09:14:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfngo/nsv_i_fit_into_my_pants/
Back in May when I was even more of a disgusting cow than I am now there was a day where I put on a pair of pants I was hoping were a little stretchy so that I would be able to wear them, but tightly. Apparently I was wrong because as soon as I bent over they tore a large hole around the ass. I cried, vowed to restrict as much as possible, and then cut up the pieces to use in my rat cage. Well those pants happened to be one of two that I had in different colors. This morning I put on the non-torn up pair and they fit! Now, they aren't perfect, and they were a pair that I wasn't exactly happy with before, but at least now I'm back to where I was before everything went down with my aunt and I ballooned up with no control. I've got control now, well for the most part, EC stacks have been awesome. Just putting those pants on this morning gave me confidence for the week that I'll be able to stay in control, and it feels pretty good. So far no calories for the day!

[Thinspo] Thinspo from a few of my favorite artists
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | avoiding scale | will update | not sure | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 08:00:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tfbiw/thinspo_from_a_few_of_my_favorite_artists/

[Rant/Rave] Starting my first ever fast today...
Created: Mon Jul 18 07:13:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tf4rm/starting_my_first_ever_fast_today/

[Rant/Rave] 1200+cal in the Chili's Turtle Brownie skillet. LOL I took 5 bites, kill me now
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Mon Jul 18 06:56:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tf2cm/1200cal_in_the_chilis_turtle_brownie_skillet_lol/
I did so fucking good yesterday until the above said title.

Saturday I had fasted, and I've been living off 300 cals or lower for about three weeks. I broke my fast Sunday morning with half an apple. By the time we got into town, I was pretty ravenous. We were passing pizza and sushi places driving to Chili's, and I was literally in tears I was so hungry. I had already pre-decided what to get, and it came in at about 100 cal. I ate that, chugged water, and I was full. I was satisfied, I was FINE. Then my boyfriend ordered that desert for himself, and told me I could have some. I was like "oh, this will be like 700cal, if I take two bites I'll be fine" Well, two turned into five, so I looked up the cals and omg I wish I hadn't. 1249cal. For one fucking tiny ass skillet of brownie, and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Lord have fucking mercy on my fat ass soul.

Sooo, then ensued a b/p session of Chinese food for dinner after clothes shopping because I felt like shit. I had two medium plates of food and sushi.

Lets just say don't throw up sushi. Ugh, so gross.

110.8 this morning, and Saturday I weighed 108.0


[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! July 18, 2016
Created: Mon Jul 18 06:03:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4teulx/weekly_stats_update_july_18_2016/
This is the weekly status thread for July 18, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Help] help?? made kale chips, they weigh nothing...
Created: Mon Jul 18 05:44:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tes3u/help_made_kale_chips_they_weigh_nothing/
made a large batch of kale crisps/chips from a huge bag of kale, after they came out of the oven the entire thing weighed less than 10g, yet there's still so much volume... according to google, 10g kale has 5 calories, so is there really only 5 calories in all this or will it still have the caloric/carb content of the original bag full bag since all it did was shrink/lose water?

idk if i'm coming across as stupid and paranoid but some1 help me out omg

[Thinspo] I like the way these jeans are fitting :)
Created: Mon Jul 18 05:38:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tere5/i_like_the_way_these_jeans_are_fitting/

[Rant/Rave] Family and Weight Loss
Created: Mon Jul 18 04:35:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tejwx/family_and_weight_loss/

[Tip] Planning to fast today, so I made these 0 cal ice tea lollies to get me through the day!
/u/kuffe [185cm | CW: 69.9g | BMI: 20.3 | -26kg | F]
Created: Mon Jul 18 03:00:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4te9xh/planning_to_fast_today_so_i_made_these_0_cal_ice/

[Thinspo] Monday inspiration.
/u/screamingfalcon [5'7.5"/171.45cm | CW: 2fat4me | GW: 121 | UGW: 108 | F22]
Created: Mon Jul 18 02:09:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4te4zm/monday_inspiration/

[Goal] Progress pics? 😫💀
/u/123Purrr [5'8" | 123 | 18.5 | F/24]
Created: Mon Jul 18 00:54:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdwn1/progress_pics/

Collar bones, chest plate, and a thigh gap in progress?
Created: Mon Jul 18 00:42:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdv7g/collar_bones_chest_plate_and_a_thigh_gap_in/

[Rant/Rave] DAE have to eat in front of a significant other to keep them not worried?
/u/zaniathin [CW 163.8 | BMI 29.82 | GW1 140 | -5.2 lbs | 22/F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 23:06:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdj2e/dae_have_to_eat_in_front_of_a_significant_other/
My fiance knows about my ED that I "recovered" from in university (was diagnosed when I was 13 with ED-NOS which I have seen is called something else now and became "recovered" around age 19) and he knows that even though its been a few years since then, he has to watch me which has been help in staying recovered for a long time.

But ever since I decided I didn't want to be "recovered" AKA "feel awful every second of the day about my body and lack of control over the one thing I know I can do right", I've been restricting secretly during the week and eating normal-ish meals during the weekend when we eat together.

I hate it. I absolutely despise it. I get away with dinners during the week because I claim I have extra food in my fridge or I'm not super hungry because my day has been so long but during the weekends we typically eat out a lot and he makes comments any time I don't eat a full meal.

I don't want him suspicious but I don't want to feel so awful and angry at myself all the time. I hate being where I am right now. I see whats on my body and I wonder how he even fell in love with me at all or how he's attracted to me. He's in good shape, is gorgeous, and kind hearted, and then there's me.

Basically a long rant to say I'm so ready for our short time of being separate (geographically) so that I can restrict without worrying about being watched or micromanaged about my food. But I will miss him!

[Discussion] Typical day of binge eating/bulimia
/u/anonymousbrahette [5'6'' | CW 163 |]
Created: Sun Jul 17 22:58:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdhx7/typical_day_of_binge_eatingbulimia/

[Discussion] I made it all day at just 500 calories!!
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 22:11:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdbi0/i_made_it_all_day_at_just_500_calories/

[Rant/Rave] Sooo happyyyy! (Goal! Happy surprise!)
Created: Sun Jul 17 22:10:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tdbcx/sooo_happyyyy_goal_happy_surprise/

[Intro] I'm back :c
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 22:00:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tda12/im_back_c/
I can't do this anymore. Gained 3 Ibs and I just binged. I just feel so unhappy with myself. Food never leaves my mind and it consumes my every thought. I know it sounds crazy but I wish I was broke or homeless or something so I couldnt access food. Its ruining my life and I cant talk to anyone in person about it which is so incredibly isolating. I want to be small forever, because if I am not small then I wont be pretty, and the only thing I have to offer are my looks. I am not interesting, smart, funny, talented, or anything. I am just moderately pretty on a good day when I try incredibly hard. My boyfriend hasn't realized how empty my mind is or how bland my personality is or even how awkward I am in bed because he thinks I am pretty. Somehow he has managed to look past everything wrong with me, but i know one day he will find another girl who has similar looks but actually has something in her head to offer. It just kills me inside. I need to look my best and be skinny or I might as well be dead.

Sometimes I think I look 'thin' other times 20 lbs more to lose seems still too little
Created: Sun Jul 17 21:21:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4td4if/sometimes_i_think_i_look_thin_other_times_20_lbs/

[Intro] I've lost my control
/u/blondebynature [5'3" | CW 136 | GW 90 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 21:05:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4td2i8/ive_lost_my_control/
Hi everyone!
I subscribed here ages ago but decided to come back and put a post here after what happened to me yesterday. I don't know who to turn to and you all seem so nice and supportive and I just feel the need to vent for a bit.

I guess I've always had a bit of an obsession with food (no diagnosis though). I have no control around food, I never have. Whenever there is anything (and I mean anything) available I will eat all of it in the shortest time possible. So I've always made sure I controlled what food was in the house and it was ok. About 2 and a half years ago I weighed 41kgs. I wasn't unhappy with how I looked but I was so unhealthy and I was sick all of the time. I then moved back to Australia and vowed to work on my health. I stopped smoking, stopped using drugs, started weights training and threw out my scale so I would stop being so obsessive about my weight. It was hard but I had moved in with my boyfriend, started an internship, started uni and had my family and friends back so I had enough to distract me.

Fast forward to yesterday: I went into hospital for surgery (just tooth removal nothing drastic) where they weighed me and the nurse said it out loud before I could stop her. 61.5kg!!!! I couldn't believe it. I went home and stared at myself in the mirror. I've lost my collar bones and my thigh gap and everything else I used to be so proud of. *Imagine swollen faced woman bawling in a ball on the bathroom floor* How did I let this happen? How could I not notice sooner? I feel like I've lost myself if that makes any sense. I want my control back but I'm scared I don't know how anymore.

[Discussion] How do skinny people without EDs stay skinny?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 20:38:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcyjn/how_do_skinny_people_without_eds_stay_skinny/
Especially in the US. Resisting all the junk food here takes so much willpower that I don't know if I could do it without my disordered thinking. Like, I feel like it takes at least *some* "disordered" thinking and behavior to maintain a BMI of below 20 (which isn't super skinny, but it's hard to maintain a weight that low, IMO). They would need to count calories, keep a food journal, and almost obsess over food since it takes obsession to combat the horrible food in the US. I'm sure the percentage of people with a naturally low appetite and preference for only healthy foods is very, very low. So the ~25% of people in the US who aren't overweight or obese HAVE to be trying to maintain a low weight. Or just in their twenties, in the high healthy range, slowly gaining weight from high school because that's how things usually go. But they'll end up fat eventually. Maybe it's exactly my disordered thinking that makes me think this, but I feel like it's inevitable to become fat in America unless you at least moderately obsess over food and your weight. Thoughts?

[Thinspo] Here's some reverse thinspo for you all, coming from your resident fatass. Hopefully in a few months I can update with a before and after.
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 20:19:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcvp9/heres_some_reverse_thinspo_for_you_all_coming/

[Discussion] What's the biggest binge you've ever had??
/u/thinwin [5'1.8 | CW: 112.2 | UGW: 100 | BMI: 20.7 | -5lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Jul 17 19:28:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcny9/whats_the_biggest_binge_youve_ever_had/
I usually eat between 1,400- 2,000 calories on a binge day, and I was wondering if this was the norm for everyone else. I'm sorry if this is too personal, I'm just curious is all❤️

[Discussion] ACV diet?
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 19:25:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcnkh/acv_diet/
I've heard of apple cider vinegar being used for weight loss by seemingly healthy or overweight people but wanted to know how it worked for us proED people specifically- is it all a sham (anything claiming to "detox" your body earns my skepticism tbh) or has it helped with your fat metabolism/weight loss?

[Other] 22 Cal Tofu Dumplings!
/u/not_an_actual_egg [5'3" | 126lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 18:11:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcch6/22_cal_tofu_dumplings/
I made these today and I'm in love <3 Each dumpling is 22 calories. I like to eat 4 of them in a cup of reduced sodium chicken broth (10) and a splash of reduced sodium soy sauce (~2). A super simple dinner of just 100 cals :)


* 6.8 oz drained firm tofu (157)

* 1.7 oz carrots, finely chopped (19)

* 3 oz cabbage, chopped (21)

* 25 g green onion, chopped (8)

* few sprigs of cilantro (0)

* Clove of garlic, minced (4)

* 57 g white mushrooms, finely chopped (9)

* 1 tbsp reduced sodium soy sauce (5)

* ~43 wonton wrappers (717) ((I used Friedas brand, which is 50 cals per 3 wrappers. Make sure to read the wrapper info, as different wrappers have different nutrition values))

* Salt and Pepper

Put the chopped cabbage in a bowl and sprinkle with salt. Mix and let set for 5 minutes, then squeeze out the water. Dice the drained tofu into 1/8 in. pieces. (Make sure your tofu is very very drained!) Toss the tofu into the cabbage and add the rest of the vegetables, as well as the soy sauce. Add salt and pepper, and mix thoroughly. If you find that your mix is very wet, squeeze out the extra liquid. I was lazy and let my mix set overnight in the fridge.

Assembly is really simple- just lay out a wonton, put about 1/2 tbsp of filling in the middle, wet the edges with water, and wrap however you want. A super simple way is to just fold them in half and pinch the edges to seal. I like to portion everything exactly, so I measured ~8 grams of filling per wrapper. This got me about 43 dumplings, but YMMV. I folded my wontons pretty much like [this](http://tarasmulticulturaltable.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/pancit-molo-1024x493.jpg) (not pic of recipe), but you can fold them however you want. To cook, just toss them in a pot of boiling water until they float to the top, and then for about a minute longer. You don't have to cook them bc there's raw meat, you're really just cooking them to soften the veggies and cook the wontons.

Since this recipe makes so much, I laid them (uncooked) out onto a baking tray and froze them for a couple hours, then tossed them into a ziplock bag. They freeze really well and the cooking process is the same, just a tad longer.

Feel free to comment if you have any questions, especially if something was unclear! I'm happy to help :)


[Rant/Rave] Dealing with the "you look too skinny" comments and small rant about how everyone is an expert on "healthy"
/u/PermaFriday [5'3|111|19.7|27lbs|F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 18:09:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tcc2z/dealing_with_the_you_look_too_skinny_comments_and/
I've said this a couple times on this sub in the past but when I started losing weight, I got so many compliments. Compliments I didn't get 30pounds ago... I started feeling great about myself and loved my thinner figure. The same people who compliment me on my weight would freak out if they knew how I reached it and then I'd "need help." I set my goal weight from 105-110 and today weighed at 111. At about 115 I started getting the "you need to eat" "you look too skinny" comments from some people. I just wanted to kind of post about how kind of... people just don't get it? And how I'm dealing with those comments without sacrificing my new size that I love.

I noticed thats since I dropped the weight so quickly a lot of my clothes fit very poorly. I mean gone down about 4 sizes, my shorts were falling off and my dresses looked like baggy sacks. So I went and bought properly fitting clothes and noticed right after I started wearing those, the "too skinny" "unhealthy" comments became fewer and farther in between. Then I started telling people I was gaining a pound here or there when I hadn't. "Good! I'm glad! You look much healthier!" Do I? Because I'm actually 1 pound down. My clothes just fit now...

So I'm just thinking how ridiculous it is that it seems people were claiming I looked "unhealthy" because my clothes were so baggy but once I got some that fit, I went back to being, "healthy." I got bras that fit (my boobs lost weight too, I'm actually sad about that) so now they have more lift that doesn't make my sternum look as boney. Nothing about my body has changed though and yet people are satisfied I'm "healthier."

I just really think people should stop using that word "healthy" so loosely like they're suddenly a nutritionist. Someone shoving fast food in their face calling me unhealthy pisses me off more than anything.

I've also been pointing out that my grandmother who's french is one of the tiniest women ever (naturally). She's like 5'0, about 90lbs wet and couldn't gain weight if she wanted. Then suddenly, "oh yeah, the French are such skinny people!"

People aren't experts. It's ridiculous.

[Help] [Help] Quick question for my veg*n pals
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Sun Jul 17 17:48:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tc8p0/help_quick_question_for_my_vegn_pals/
Is it bad form to use chicken broth in my veggie stew? I was at the store and couldn't find any vegetable broth. I admit I was feeling lazy so I just bought the chicken one and was done with it. I just finished making the soup and I'm feeling a bit guilty, but I don't want it to go to waste. What would you guys do?

[Thinspo] I have a slightly better body image, I can see my muscle indents! (Just noticed how bad my tan has gotten 😂)
/u/thinwin [5'1.8 | CW: 112.2 | UGW: 100 | BMI: 20.7 | -5lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Jul 17 16:30:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tbwzf/i_have_a_slightly_better_body_image_i_can_see_my/

[Help] New stretch marks, increased appetite, body dysmorphia problems, what's going on? :(
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 15:22:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tbn1j/new_stretch_marks_increased_appetite_body/
I have new red stretch marks on my top abdomen, right under my heart. I smeared aloe vera gel right on top as soon as I saw it. Will exfoliate later tonight.

Stopped my EC Stack due to forgetting -- I never do well with pills -- so after I saw my stretch marks, I ate sandwich with Sara Lee's 45 Whole Wheat bread, Justin's maple almond butter packet and a quarter of banana, with two strips of veggie bacon at 365 calories ALL FOR BREAKFAST. Why is my appetite like this .___.

I'm also on my period so I don't know if that has to do with anything?

I also feel like I'm not seeing anything. I still feel huge and gross but I know I'm going to regret buying a scale. I know that'll just be permission for me to binge if I see any loss but as well as disappointment if I gain weight from drinking water. I also know that any cheating will obviously be evident on my body so I'm very careful with what I eat. I try not to have oil, sodium or anything that will make my body too acidic. It's just very scary because I don't feel any different from eating a normal diet.

I don't know what to do and I feel so hopeless. Any advise would be helpful!

[Meme/Humor] Me looking at pics from two months ago
Created: Sun Jul 17 14:56:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tbizd/me_looking_at_pics_from_two_months_ago/

[Discussion] How do y'all focus and get sh*t done while restricting?
/u/HiccupKitten [5'4" I 110.8 I 19.0 I -5 lbs I F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 13:30:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tb4xk/how_do_yall_focus_and_get_sht_done_while/
Is it just straight discipline, or do you have little tricks you use?

I'm trying to manage grad school, a cafe job, finances, my passions of writing and art, all while dealing with the head fuzzies of restriction. For a while doing IF made me focus, and only after eating would I lose concentration.

Advice? Help? Motivating words on how y'all manage?

[Rant/Rave] The cafe in the library is closed...
Created: Sun Jul 17 12:29:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tav0d/the_cafe_in_the_library_is_closed/

[Rant/Rave] Anyone here afraid that their SO will leave them when they reach their UGW? [rant]
Created: Sun Jul 17 11:52:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tap3f/anyone_here_afraid_that_their_so_will_leave_them/
My fiance, who I've been with for a number of years, is seriously getting into my face about weight loss because we met when I was 200 lbs.

He says you're not a model, you're too old to be a model and you're never going to be a model. This pushes me to work harder. I told him Tyra would like for women on her show to be 5'9" and 115 - and they're perfectly healthy.

Why can't people just be happy for the body types that their SOs prefer? Plenty of women under 5'4" are under 100 lbs. I don't understand why we "have" to be curvy if we're not "naturally thin". I don't want to hear real women have curves and you don't want to look like a little boy. I've worked so hard (insert the Linkin Park song "In The End").

I don't want him to forcefeed me more than 300 calories a day. I'm trying *not* to purge. I've gotten back into self harm because he made me eat more. I hate how people try to cockblock hardcore dieters and make me go for "fitspo" "curvy" "respect ur body". I hate how people tell me that Kate Moss is a drug addict and that it's not 1984.

I hate how people tell me I'm going to die because I want to be 80 or less, and because I'm over 30 I "can't" because I've "never". There is always another mountain to climb. There will be nothing in my way; I will endure until the end.

I've also gotten static from childhood friends who treated me as the fat, celibate security guard. in my early 20s.

[Rant/Rave] I'm done taking orders from fucking potatoes
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Sun Jul 17 11:04:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4tahe1/im_done_taking_orders_from_fucking_potatoes/
Woke up down a pound from yesterday. I was empty from dancing all night last night and felt great. Started the day out with some frozen grapes and an extra lean turkey sausage (110 cals and 15g protein, helllooo)

Then, the quietness/boredom set in and I found myself getting dressed to head down the road to this little diner place that does these amazing garlic potatoes. That back-and-forth agonizing dialogue set in. I HATE that part. So I ran the scenario through my head:

I'll go to the shop, pick them up and probably something else shitty and greasy. I'll come home, eat them, probably end up turning it into a full blown binge. I'll go to the corner store and spend money I don't have on shit I don't need so I can flush it all down the drain in 15 minutes. I'll look in the mirror and hate myself and vow to do better tomorrow.

Then it hit me. This is the moment where I can break the cycle. I'm a fucking sentient being, a god damned potato has no power over me. I have a choice in this. Yes, this cycle might have gone on for many years, but I have the power to end it. So here I am, sipping ice water happily instead of drowning in regret.

Today is a good day.

[Meme/Humor] After a bad binge...
Created: Sun Jul 17 10:15:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta9r7/after_a_bad_binge/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 17, 2016
Created: Sun Jul 17 10:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta7r3/daily_food_diary_july_17_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Discussion] Binging At Breakfast
/u/APairofScales [5'6" | CW:Too Much | BMI:Nope| Weight Lost:Too Little | Male]
Created: Sun Jul 17 09:55:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta6ox/binging_at_breakfast/
Anyone else here have a problem with binging at breakfast? I seem to have a fear of being hungry during the day, and I've often been eating at least two meals worth of food as soon as I get up. I'm also not a morning person, so my mind isn't fully awake to say 'NO'. I've had my caloric goal for the day ruined within a half our of getting out of bed. Anyone else experience this, or have suggestions on dealing with it?

[Rant/Rave] I just purged
Created: Sun Jul 17 09:23:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta203/i_just_purged/
After so long being free. I binged first this morning, excercised a LOT like I normally do then I binged again an hour ago and purged.

I need to be in bikini in two weeks, I went from 68 to 54 to 62 kgs and I feel too fucking terrible to even think about it.

[Rant/Rave] Every time I wake up with food in my stomach...
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 09:18:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ta19z/every_time_i_wake_up_with_food_in_my_stomach/
... I feel like a failure. I feel swollen everywhere. I feel pain in my stomach. I feel miserable.

A sane person would stop eating before bed. Not me. Because I'm not normal. I'm allergic to everything, I have sensory issues, I dont relate to anyone, and I'm not entirely sure I'm even the same species as others. I certainly don't seem fit to survive on the same planet.

Waking up with food in my stomach makes me feel alone. Because no one would possibly understand how much of a piece of weak, powerless shit it makes me. They would just tell me to get over it or talk to my (useless) therapist. I just want to be normal. Hating food isn't normal. I've hated it all my life. I love it so much that I despise it. And that makes me sound like a privileged whiny twat. I dont want to want food. I'm very close to buying Primatine. I need to shock my body put of this cycle and ban carbs again. They are the devil. They are my personal demon assigned to tempt me, put me in pain, and ultimately give me diabetes.

I hate this. I want my power back. I dont even know if I logged everything I ate last night. Sure, it was maintenance or less, but it was shit food. I can't do this. This is how I failed last time and gained 60 lbs in 9 mos. My food addiction. The only way to fix it is to quit eating. And I can't because I have a physically demanding work trip this week. Uggggh.

I woke up with Nobody Loves Me by the Sneaker Pimps in my head. My eyes hadn't even opened yet, and that's the greeting my brain gave me. Sometimes I feel like my subconscious is a separate entity that wants to punish me. How can I have control over something with "sub" in its very name?

Those size 4s I bought yesterday are of no consolation. They will be a snapshot of the smallest adult body will allow for and remind me that there is no way my body will ever go under 130 without kicking, screaming, spitting, and biting. It's a nasty bitch. My subconscious's name is Failure.

Time to go put coffee in a stomach that already feels filled with glass.

[Discussion] Do you weigh more on your period?
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 08:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9y23/do_you_weigh_more_on_your_period/
Is it like having water weight or something? want to weigh myself but worried I'll end up panicking over nonsense numbers.

[Other] [Possible Trigger Warning (?): Junk Food] When you get sick satisfaction from organizing your binge drawer and not eating anything
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~57.2lbs | UGW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 08:52:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9xgd/possible_trigger_warning_junk_food_when_you_get/

When you have a "binge drawer" [Trigger Warning(?): junk food]
Created: Sun Jul 17 08:50:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9x5q/when_you_have_a_binge_drawer_trigger_warning_junk/

[Thinspo] I love waking up to an empty tummy <3
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Sun Jul 17 07:58:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9q8t/i_love_waking_up_to_an_empty_tummy_3/

[Help] confusion: how much would you say this guy weighs?
Created: Sun Jul 17 06:54:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t9ili/confusion_how_much_would_you_say_this_guy_weighs/
so i know this guy isn't exactly ~thinspo~ as such but i would die to look like him ;-;

he's almost exactly the same height as me and tbh we have a similar body type (???) so he's kinda like, a more realistic 'thinspo' for me than the usual skin-and-bones tumblr guys that i have no idea how tall they are and would have to literally be at death's door to look like w/ my large completely gross frame (ignore me sorry i'm rambling)

http://imgur.com/a/C1NZR one site says he's 165 lbs, one says he's 175, but i def think he's a bit lower (he's 6'3). can anyone guesstimate how much he weighs? (fyi if you want to see more of his pics just google dan howell l m a o)


[Rant/Rave] I gained back all the weight I lost when I did a 94 hour water fast :(
Created: Sun Jul 17 03:47:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t916a/i_gained_back_all_the_weight_i_lost_when_i_did_a/
It was my brother's birthday a few days ago so I ate around 2000-3000 cals (probably overestimating) a day for like 3-4 days.

I feel so bad :( all my hard work...gone, just like that. On top of that, I accidentally told my brother's gf about my ED while I was drunk. Now I feel like eating in front of her is me being a huge liar.

I'm starting the ABC diet tomorrow (on a Monday) and I'm also gonna try and start working out everyday for at least a week or two. It's probably unrealistic but I need to have some plans for myself or else I'll go fucking mental. Sigh.

[Other] A modeling agent stopped me to give me their business card at the grocery store today.
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9 | CW 145 lbs | GW 125 | woman]
Created: Sat Jul 16 23:31:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t8dcf/a_modeling_agent_stopped_me_to_give_me_their/
This is the second time this has happened this week 💕 The more I lose the more of this type of attention I get and I love the shit out of it, especially because it's not sexual lol.

Okay, now that I've sounded conceited enough, that's all I'll share haha.

Today I got back into self harm because my BF said I don't have Candice Swanepoel type legs.
Created: Sat Jul 16 22:02:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t82vx/today_i_got_back_into_self_harm_because_my_bf/

[Rant/Rave] Just excited with no one to talk to...
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64" | 127# | 22.2 BMI | -96# | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 21:48:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t817y/just_excited_with_no_one_to_talk_to/
I went shopping. This woman who appeared in my age demographic was also there. She was taller than me. Her upper arms were the size of my humerus (upper arm bone). So tiny. I have no idea what she looked like otherwise. Just that she had on a thin white knit sweater and the tiniest little skinny arms I've seen in months.

Why is this so exciting? Why do I love BONES so much? God. It was so hard not to stare at her arms. But I didn't. I just have this little snapshot in my head.

I fucking love IRL thinspo. Fuck.

I also bought size 4 fancypants. I'm going to ignore that I weigh the same as when I was 17, at which time I wore size ELEVEN, and pretend that that beautiful 4 really means 4. I love 4 apparently. My UGW was 104 for a long time. My "attainable" goal is 114. I've never given 4 much consideration, but I'm starting to notice a pattern here.....hmm.....

The chandelier in my 2nd floor hall hits my chest with light in such a way that it exaggerates the appearance of my chest bones. It's fucking ridiculous and I love it.

One of these days, hipbones....I will see you jut out like my sternum. In any light.

A LOT of shit has been happening. I don't know what I was doing. So much stress. But I am back. Back to counting. Back to shrinking. Fuck fat.

Edit: Flare is outdated. Been stuck at 129# for a while.

How do I control myself?
Created: Sat Jul 16 21:36:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7zmf/how_do_i_control_myself/

[Intro] Hi!
Created: Sat Jul 16 20:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7uko/hi/
Hey guys. I frequent this subreddit but never really posted. Feeling like I need to find a new outlet so here goes.
I've been struggling for about 7-8 years. I use to be pretty big (close to 180 at my highest?), lost between 50-60 lbs, gained a bunch back. I just weighed myself out of frustration and I'm currently 155 =\ I'm not as terribly unhappy as I use to be, but I know I'm still struggling. I would say I am 0% happy with how I look right now, but I've reached a weird apathetic stage where I'm not really crying over it, but I would rather avoid myself at all costs. Anyway, I wanted to start posting, so here I am! Hopefully I will be more active ^_^

So, I'm going on a fast starting tomorrow 7/17 through 7/23 anyone willing to join!
Created: Sat Jul 16 20:51:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7two/so_im_going_on_a_fast_starting_tomorrow_717/

[Discussion] No matter how much weight I loose I feel like I look the same. Anyone else?
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 20:10:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7oms/no_matter_how_much_weight_i_loose_i_feel_like_i/

[Rant/Rave] I Feel Like I can't Find the Control I Once Had
Created: Sat Jul 16 20:10:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7om0/i_feel_like_i_cant_find_the_control_i_once_had/
Hi everyone, long time lurker but first time posting.

Back in my late teens early 20s, i was diagnosed with anorexia. At my lowest weight, i was 90lbs (I'm 5'2). That took about a year to reach and granted, i wasnt exactly a happy person then. I was always hungry and pretty bitchy. I don't exactly want that, but here i am, almost 30, and 116 pounds and i know, i KNOW a lot of you will tell me "thats not fat at all" but its more than i ever was. Even when i recovered i was 110-ish for YEARS. its only in the past 2 years or so ive been 116. And everytime i say im going to restrict, im going to invoke the willpower i once had to get to 110 and stay there, i just fuck up. I feel like i don't know how to tap into the self-control i once had. the older i get, the more i am concerned about metabolism, and the more i want to work away some of this fat i feel i have. But i don't know how to have the same control i used to. I think this is partial asking for advice, partial venting. I just am so frustrated. I also suffer from IBS, i have for about 3+ years now, and you would think that would make it easier to just not eat a lot of things but instead i do and then i feel sick 3-4 days a week because of my stomach. I feel like an idiot sometimes, that i cant lose weight and that i don't even limit my choices for my IBS.

[Discussion] Im too fat to have a problem
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 19:59:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7n9o/im_too_fat_to_have_a_problem/
Is what I keep hearing. Im too embarrassed to say how much I weigh up here but technically even though I've lost 50+ pounds Im still pretty big. But anyway, I keep getting told Im too big to have an eating disorder but Im kind of happy about that because people don't notice that after ever meal I run to the bathroom or, I just don't eat. I went 7 days without eating and no one noticed.

But my point is, theres still a stigma around how much someone should "weigh" to be sick and thats how a lot of people go under the radar and end up dying. Its terrible.

Back to emotional binging - shit
Created: Sat Jul 16 19:49:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7lw6/back_to_emotional_binging_shit/

[Goal] Small accomplishments
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 19:28:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7j1r/small_accomplishments/
though i'm still nowhere near where i want to be, today i weighed in and realized that i had officially lost 10 pounds. i've been trying so hard and i feel good about it, but i still need to lose 50 more. i'm going to try fasting until someone notices what's up, but still, kind of proud of myself so far, even though physically i don't see any difference.
i'm too embarrassed to say my current weight (i'm a whale) but i'm 10 pounds closer to my goal!

[Discussion] What are your favorite low cal frozen meals?
/u/ALonelySeaCucumber [5'6" | CW 152.8 GW 110 | 24.7 | -7.2 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 19:20:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7hun/what_are_your_favorite_low_cal_frozen_meals/
I'm going on a grocery store run tomorrow and my goal is to eat 2 frozen meals that average less than or about 300 calories each. Does anyone have recommendations?

[Goal] I'm not where I want to be, but I am so glad that I am not where I used to be :)
/u/macchiato- [5'5'' | 114 lbs | 19.19 | 19F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 18:40:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7cjd/im_not_where_i_want_to_be_but_i_am_so_glad_that_i/

[Rant/Rave] I officially have no friends and I voluntarily purged for the first time, in a public restroom.
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 18:39:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t7cgt/i_officially_have_no_friends_and_i_voluntarily/
Trying to make this short. Had best friends A and B, knew A in middle school when I was anorexic, gained weight in junior high and met B. B's fat and once said A looks anorexic and I told her you can't say that to someone since it's serious. I asked A why she didn't say anything when she knew I struggled with an ED before and she said she literally didn't know I did. I TOLD HER AND BEGGED HER NOT TO TELL MY MOM A YEAR BEFORE. We had a falling out because of that, and she doesn't remember? So I stopped hanging out with them, then in 9th grade we reconciled. I missed a lot of school that year and came back and told them it was because I was diagnosed with depression. A never really followed up, B didn't ask me about it but talked about mental illness among her family members. 10th grade, I attempted suicide and dropped out but didn't tell them why. I missed a lot of hanging out in 9th and 10th with them because of depression. 11th grade, this year, they went to a different school and A never texted me. She made new friends. B hung out with me sometimes.

This year I tell B I was diagnosed with BPD, and she says she knows a family member with it and that I can't have that, and tries to REDIAGNOSE ME. I'm a pushover so I just let her keep talking about her family once again. Anyway, today we go to the fair. Mind you I've made a huge effort to hang out with her (and A) this year. So we talk about rides before hand. My mom literally had to take out rent money to pay for my ticket. And she doesn't fucking want to go on rides after we've payed? I told her I was disappointed because 1. She was late today, 2. She cancelled on me the day of something else six months ago *and* this month, and 3. We were going to go to another fair in December and she cancelled on that the day of and ended up contacting my mom after she had already driven an hour there asking if she can go? FUCK YOU. So I call my mom in tears and then this bitch decides she does want to do rides. I told her our "friendship" was over and I don't want to go on any with her. Later she says we could go to a different, cheaper fair. I said "I don't want to go anywhere with you." (Finally not a fucking pushover).

So, purge time. I went into a bathroom with stalls there and worked up courage to purge (I had a root beer float, more than I wanted). I hurled even with the bathroom completely full. I came out as soon as I finished and flushed the toilet. I didn't give a fuck if anyone heard me anymore.

Then my mom picks us up and tries to be neutral and talk to us. We keep talking and B brings up 2 years ago when I didn't hang out with her and A (I didn't cancel, I just didn't hang out with them often). Then I bring up her cancelling 2 years ago and she says "You know what? I don't care anymore if you're going to bring up something that happened 2 years ago." What. The. Fuck. I told her that I let her know I had depression and there was a period of a few months when I dropped out where I was basically bedridden. Then, all of a sudden, she has depression which she has never told me about before? I was fed up and turned around and said "fuck you" to her in front of my mom (I'm 17). She got out of the car and her mom picked her up. We left her stuff on her porch per her request.

I blocked her "number" (email, her bitch of a mother doesn't give her a phone then expects me to let her use mine when she looks at all my messages and uses Facebook while we're hanging out and downloads shit on my phone without asking ugh). I blocked A's number too. A texted me "Hiya 😊" like 3 months ago and then just last week and I never replied because last time I did, I wrote a long message and didn't get a reply. So, fuck you too. I've never blocked them before in case they send me something, but you know what? They send me shit and I still don't want to talk to them, so, unsubscribe.

I was going to post on /r/suicidewatch, but I'm not suicidal. I'm just fucking done and ready for better. /rant

[Help] Me_irl stepping on the scale the day after a binge
Created: Sat Jul 16 18:11:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t78nr/me_irl_stepping_on_the_scale_the_day_after_a_binge/

[Other] I have grown!
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Sat Jul 16 17:41:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t74kz/i_have_grown/
I'm so excited! One of my friends used to be my height exactly and I can now see the top of her head. A tape measure has confirmed I'm actually 2cm taller than I previously thought! This makes my BMI already under 20 and makes me slightly underweight at what I thought was my healthy weight goal.

I'm feeling so happy now but I wish I knew I was taller so I could have celebrated my BMI dropping under 20 :(

[Thinspo] Feeling kinda crappy so I thought I'd make another kpop thinspo album 🎶
/u/wearebulletproof [5'4 | fat | 20F🎀✨]
Created: Sat Jul 16 16:49:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t6x5k/feeling_kinda_crappy_so_i_thought_id_make_another/

[Other] Hah, and there I was worrying about binging this weekend and ruining my deficit this week..
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Sat Jul 16 16:31:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t6ufr/hah_and_there_i_was_worrying_about_binging_this/
And I came down with food poisoning or something this morning! I've only eaten one day so far this week too, besides crackers and soup today.. What are the odds??! Least it makes it easier to figure out the culprit, must have been some bad cottage cheese..

Feel like hell but strangely pleased! Lol! (*Can't flair, am on my tablet in bed!*)

[Discussion] Any college students out there? What are your goals and plans for the year?
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 16:25:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t6tg5/any_college_students_out_there_what_are_your/
I currently live on campus due to work / summer school and I'm really looking forward for the next year since I won't be forced to eat with the unlimited dining hall plan. I ended a lot of toxic relationships and friendships last year, so I don't have many friends. I also am going through an investigation due to my assault that will most likely go into fall quarter so that will also give me an excuse to be alone to think and reflect.
On the bright side, I do plan on joining a new sorority this year so I'm very excited to rush and wear cute dresses :)

Here are my goals for Fall Quarter:

* Get a 4.0 this quarter. Meaning I'll most likely be stuck in the library and not eating and downing black coffee + Primatene instead.
* Wear cute and comfy clothes. I'm already 2-3 sizes down, if things work out til the end of the summer I should be at least down by 4-5. I want to wear lululemon tights and Northface / Patagonia quarter-zip sweaters and cute sneakers, but I will only reward myself with that at the end of the summer.
* Run on campus every morning before class.
* Build my bubble butt again.

I think I can hit 100 lbs before winter break so I'm very stoked on that! What's been working for me is a strict keto-style diet, just not much fat. 500 calorie binges every other week, 0 - 125 calories everyday.

I'm still stuck on a low-cal lunch I can take to class. I'm thinking kale salad with some tempeh noodles? Shirtaki noodles with a light tomato sauce? Spinach and watermelon salad with red wine vinegar? Something under 50 calories would be ideal!

I get really excited about school when I think about these goals. Do you guys have any?

[Rant/Rave] DAE ever feel like their way of thinking is more rational?
/u/dazeyheadmayzie [5'4" | 98.8 | 17.29 | -29 | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 14:37:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t6cv8/dae_ever_feel_like_their_way_of_thinking_is_more/
Lately I have been noticing things that are considered "disordered" thinking by many people just seems like common sense to me. For example:

- I cannot wrap my head around why someone would choose a full calorie product when a diet option is just as readily available.

- Many people never track their calories or what nutrients they are consuming, yet they preach that under eating is so unhealthy. I feel like I get just as many necessary nutrients out of my carefully planned meals that the average person gets from just mindlessly eating whatever sounds appealing without keeping track.

- Some people honestly have no idea how many calories they have eaten in any given day. I'm not saying that everyone should count calories obsessively or anything, but it kinda blows my mind how many people don't even keep a rough estimate of what they're eating and thats considered normal.

- Everyone seems to lose their mind if you say anything about your goal weight dropping below 100lbs, however, I feel that most people have a very vague idea of what different weights look like and they just generally think that <100lbs is automatically "sick" looking. In reality those same people that preach "90lbs is so unhealthy, Omg, what could they be thinking" are the same ones that go on about how 'tiny' or how good you look as you lose that weight.
I don't know, i'm sorry this got so rambley but do you all have anything similar that is a commonly accepted as "normal" that just doesn't make sense to you?

[Discussion] I love the emptyness
Created: Sat Jul 16 11:54:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t5n4t/i_love_the_emptyness/
Waking up with a concave stomach. Hipbones sticking out. Jeans a little looser than yesterday. Ribs a little more defined. Drinking water and feeling it fall into the depth of your midsection and cooling you from the inside. The pure feeling of being empty, wasting nothing. It feels clean. And pure. And empty.

[Help] Really silly question: Does the food you eat contribute to your weight the second you eat it?
/u/rickyoulittlemeatbal [5'4" | 115 lbs | 20.13 | -9 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 11:18:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t5h9h/really_silly_question_does_the_food_you_eat/
First of all, hello! First post :) I wish it was a less ridiculous one lol...

In order to keep myself sane, I only weigh myself once a week on Saturday mornings before I've eaten anything.

However, this morning I forgot to weigh myself before eating and now I'm afraid the reading is inaccurate. It's different than it has been the last four weeks, despite me eating exactly the same and consistently losing the same amount per week.

I can't weigh myself tomorrow because today is my weekly no restrictions day so I will have definitely gained by then :/.

[Goal] First successful fast!
Created: Sat Jul 16 10:26:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t58lv/first_successful_fast/
I've never been one that believed she could fast. After I hit 25, it felt like if I didn't eat at least something during the day I'd pass out, be nauseous, or destroy everything around me due to hunger rage. Somehow, perhaps due to the stress from my promo vids/shoot tomorrow, I managed a 36 hour fast and still counting! That's while working a 13 hr day yesterday and another 9 today. I'll probably have to break it after work since I'm going to a birthday party tonight and want to eat some egg whites before I get there and see cake/bbq and want to gorge. Regardless this feels like a huge milestone bc now I know I'm capable of this in three future!

Unrelated yesterday at work I rung out a primatine for the first time to someone who was clearly using it as an ec stack. I wanted to tell her how I know with a wink, that I do it too, and her shoulder blades were goals... but that would've made her super uncomfortable. Nice to know I'm not the only person in the area that goes through this stuff though.

[Rant/Rave] Going on a trip with family
/u/Peachfae [5'5" | 116.8 | 19.6 | -18.2 | f]
Created: Sat Jul 16 10:06:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t55ln/going_on_a_trip_with_family/
And honestly so panicked. My parents never plan rest stops so i'm pretty sure my chugging water habit is a no go. I snuck my scale in my personal backpack and will be weighing myself. Its a two day drive (15 hours first day, 8 hours next) and the first day was totally brutal (got away with 600 cal tho) but the second day i'm dreading because we will actually stop and eat some form of shitty fast food for sure. Also my family is basically unbearable and being around them makes me want to cry/binge and this trip is 16 days long. Please send me support :(

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 16, 2016
Created: Sat Jul 16 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t54yc/daily_food_diary_july_16_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 16, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Goal] Another milestone, under 120. But this time I feel no joy from it.
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 117 | 18.26 | -53 | F | GW 115 | UGW 108?]
Created: Sat Jul 16 09:55:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t53wr/another_milestone_under_120_but_this_time_i_feel/

[Discussion] Finally broke my plateau & dealing with people
Created: Sat Jul 16 09:43:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t5268/finally_broke_my_plateau_dealing_with_people/
I've been stalled at 120 for a couple of weeks. FINALLY, I'm below. I wish this didn't mean so much to me. I honestly feel safe and happy now. But when people around me look at me, I see concern and worry. :( I feel guilty about that, but... This is what I need. Anyone else have this inner conflict between how much you want to be small, but how much you want to please the people you love?

[Other] This beer is a goddamn lifesaver
Created: Sat Jul 16 09:31:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t508f/this_beer_is_a_goddamn_lifesaver/

[Thinspo] I could really use this right now and I'm sure some of you need it as well
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Sat Jul 16 08:46:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4tqq/i_could_really_use_this_right_now_and_im_sure/

[Other] So I went to the movies yesterday
Created: Sat Jul 16 08:28:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4r87/so_i_went_to_the_movies_yesterday/

[Help] Tried calorie deficit calculating for a week and lost nothing. Need reassurance. :(
Created: Sat Jul 16 08:12:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4p1v/tried_calorie_deficit_calculating_for_a_week_and/

[Help] best workout plans?
Created: Sat Jul 16 06:26:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4ck8/best_workout_plans/
can anyone link me to some good daily workout plans? preferably someting that burns a lot of calories but avoids gaining much/any muscle.

[Other] Never Binge Again eBook
Created: Sat Jul 16 05:48:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t48ow/never_binge_again_ebook/
Keto Reddit has linked to a free ebook for Kindle on Amazon called "Never Binge Again" by Glenn Livingston. I can't access it, because Amazon hates my country, so I can't vouch for its helpfulness, but I thought I'd mention it. I know a lot of people here suffer from bingeing, and it might be helpful for someone.

[Rant/Rave] Went out alone yesterday
Created: Sat Jul 16 05:35:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t47g9/went_out_alone_yesterday/
I haven't been out alone in forever. So I don't know if this has always happened to me before and I was just out with people so I didn't notice but people are so much nicer to me now. And creepier...

Anyways, I was out yesterday and I did some errands and stuff and I just realized how people smile at me and greet me more. One guy even mumbled "good morning ma'am" when he was just walking by me. It was afternoon though haha

Then I was asking for help from a mall guard to find a taxi and he and another mall guard walked me to the OTHER side of the mall. This has never happened to me before and they usually just point me to the direction.

When I got back to school, I went to a convenience store to buy some water and there was a circle of police officers and they all started staring at me and I heard one of them call me pretty. And they started laughing. I don't know if I imagined them calling me pretty or what but I felt really uncomfortable. Especially since I'm only 17.

The creepy encounter I had last night was with this guy who wouldn't stop staring at me and saying "hello" while grinning. He would go out of his room where his friends are just to say hello and stare then he'd come back inside again. At one point, he peeked (I think he was planning on making a move) but he saw that my brother was sitting beside me so he quickly went back inside. I was tipsy and I'm pretty sure the guy was drunk so I did my best to stay out of his way.

I mean, should I be flattered? People always complimented me before. But it honestly made me uncomfortable. Now, they do it a lot more and people are a lot more forward towards me now and it makes me feel like I shouldn't bother going out again.

I feel like I'm going to sound annoying to some but I don't want to be stared at or be noticed. I want to be skinner so that I won't take up as much space. I want people to barely glance at me. Like I'm not even there. I don't want to be called beautiful or pretty. I appreciate people being nice to me a lot. But honestly, it does make me feel guilty. I just feel like I'm not worth enough to be kind to.

Idk, I'm really sorry for rambling. I just needed to get it out of my chest.

Edit: I might have made some grammatical errors. Sorry about that. Too tired and slow to bother honestly haha I haven't slept in a while

[Rant/Rave] this is so annoying
Created: Sat Jul 16 05:16:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t45nr/this_is_so_annoying/
I can't check my weight until monday morning because I don't have access to a scale :/. This bugs me a lot because sometimes I base my intake on if I've lost/gained/stayed the same. Like if I lost quite a bit, I'll let myself have an 800 day as apposed to 0-500 if I don't gain or lose only a little.

[Rant/Rave] Recovery...
Created: Sat Jul 16 05:10:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4514/recovery/

[Rant/Rave] Im terrified about my family trip I am going on next week. So I (subconsciously) have slowly prepped myself.
Created: Sat Jul 16 04:28:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t4187/im_terrified_about_my_family_trip_i_am_going_on/
This week I ordered and bought a bunch of things to prepare me, so the things I will NOT forget to bring on my family trip down to California:

* Food scale
* another "travel size" food scale that shows micro grams
* ephedrine + caffeine pills
* Amazon purchase of different strength workout bands, so I don't have an excuse to strength train
* Brand new 135$ running shoes so I know I am able to run in the mornings
* ipod and headphones for running, exercising, and drowning out arguments
*Fitbit and charger
* silly putty to play with for all the anxiety they came me when being around them
* neck pillow (because, ya know, plane rides)

Thats the TL;DR checklist. So if your still reading at 3 am pacific time: I am so terrified of this family vacation because its like the last FIVE day "thing" this summer that allows me to cheat and eat and feel like shit forever. You know how theres always "something" that makes you eat? Ive traveled and socialized so much this summer and its always about food. My family isn't exactly "obese" but they are the selfish, materialistic, "please myself now" kind of people. They say we are going to get up early every morning, walk to town, be active but they aren't those people. Its going to be about meals, bragging, and drama.

I can't let them fuck my goals over. I can't.

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I'm so full I feel like never eating again EVER
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Sat Jul 16 04:27:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t413n/rant_im_so_full_i_feel_like_never_eating_again/

[Rant/Rave] Last month I was 155...
Created: Sat Jul 16 01:56:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t3nui/last_month_i_was_155/
Now I'm 170. 171.2 to be specific. I've managed to gain 15 pounds in 21 days. My mood disorder has come back full force and ruined my life so much worse than ever before because things had actually been looking up for a bit before then. And now its all shit again and I feel stupid for having any hope my life would be different.

I've spent the last few weeks binge eating daily, probably polishing off 10k calories a day some days, and even today I fasted for 18 hours only to just feel the compulsion and give in and eat around 3000. I've basically stopped exercising too, I'm too tired and I hate myself too much.

I feel weak and sad and pathetic and suicidal. I can't keep starting over or picking up the pieces like this. When my brain isn't fucking me over I do fine. But the cycle just keeps going and my therapist doesn't know what to do and my psychiatrist doesnt know what to do and I'm just gaining and gaining weight. I cried when I saw my legs in the mirror after my shower today because there was finally a very visible awful difference to my appearance.

I know this is a massive incoherent mess, and I don't know what exactly I'm looking for by posting it, but I guess I just wanted to share more than anything. Thanks, if you read this.

[Rant/Rave] A challenge for me today: Going to a fair/fete. I have never NOT overeaten/binged at one.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 15 23:18:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t38ol/a_challenge_for_me_today_going_to_a_fairfete_i/
And usually, I let myself. For me, it's one of those rare, special events so I let myself say fuck it. I love fair food, and my small town doesn't get a whole lot of events like that.

Not today. I've had a KILLER week in terms of calories. I did very well, better than I have in ages. I have a restriction-free day tomorrow, as per usual, and with more of a vague plan in place to still keep tomorrows cals low as possible to make the most of how well I did this week (while still benefiting from the freedom of Sundays, which is good for me psychologically).

So this wont be an 'allowed' day. I don't need to overeat today. Sorry fair. I'm quite confident, but at the same time.. I'm not there yet. Maybe it will be really hard once I get there, maybe I'll give in.


* I'm planning to pack myself a salad and big ol' chunks of cucumber (my go-to right now, the crunch helps).

* I've made myself a bowl of sugar-free jello at home too, thank god for that stuff - the fair is VERY near my house (literally 30 second walk, just round the corner!) so I can always make an excuse, make a quick exit, and grab the jello if I get too tempted to stuff face, and go back. Sugar free jello really fills me up, and the one I have is 40kcal for a big bowl.

* I have all my food planned today even though I'm usually less prepped on Saturdays when my partners with me.

* I also didn't sleep well last night so maybe that'll be a bonus, I can come back and have a nap and forget food when I get tired.

* I am going to wear my tiniest, tightest outfit - can't let myself bloat in that!

The one allowance: There will be a big bake stall at the fair, so I will let myself carefully consider whats on offer, buy something, and save it to tomorrow night. This will make me feel like I am 'getting something', too.

Phew. This is gonna be a hard one. Damn, hope it works out. Wish me luck. Any and all advice appreciated.

[Help] I'm fat.
/u/trashmousey [5'5 | too fucking fat | -20 lbs | 19/F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 23:10:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t37t8/im_fat/

[Rant/Rave] So.... I didn't get a scholarship
Created: Fri Jul 15 21:53:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t2z44/so_i_didnt_get_a_scholarship/
I'm kind of.... maybe I shouldn't be "shocked", but surprised. I applied for many scholarships and expected to get at least one. I have an amazing GPA, always win awards for my class standing, I'm an under-represented minority, I frequent several clubs at university (for extra-curricular), I have health disabilities, and I am pursuing an aggressive study schedule.

All of that lead me to believe that at least one of these scholarships that claim to be aimed at people *exactly like me* would give me a little money. I don't need a lot, but just a little. I just got confirmation today that I have gotten none of them. This lead to me crying all day, and then bingeing. I'll be honest, I was actually recovering and had broken the cycle of negativity for a few weeks, too. I even stopped count calories, and was happy without worrying about my weight too much (only for like an hour or two a day, vs several hours). I was beginning to accept myself more, and was really honestly beginning to let myself be happy for once. But now I'm just disappointed, and I feel like I'm worthless all over again. I feel like I did something wrong, I'm not good enough, or sort of like.... I don't know, everyone else is clearly better than me.

I'm stressed out now because I won't have money for food in the upcoming semester. My family doesn't have the money, and I don't want to lean on them like that. I've never been in this situation before. That, combined with the disappointment is really killing me right now. I'm also starting to have weird thoughts, like.... I'm living with family over summer and so I don't have to pay for things. But I'm already thinking I should limit how much I eat/drink to $2 worth per day or something now. I suddenly feel like I am just a financial burden to everyone, and I guess I get this sense of "I should practice living off no money, because I won't have any to use later on"? In a sick way, I also feel good that I won't have money to buy food with, because it makes it impossible to get fat again.

I feel like until I leave for university, I will be following cycles of restricting and bingeing now, with all the stress and back-and-forth mindsets. I don't really see recovering as a possibility anymore, it's like I was in a daydream for a few weeks or something

[Intro] Feels good to talk, lots to say
/u/essiefitzmonster [5'3" | CW109 | GW100 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 21:39:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t2xe5/feels_good_to_talk_lots_to_say/
Sorry! Feel free to skip the wall. Last paragraph sums up where I'm at now. Everything else is history ;)

Hello all :)

Wow. Cannot believe I am finally doing this --deep breath--
So I have been lurking on reddit for 5 years and this thread for a few months but that Askreddit thread debacle gave me that push to make an account and finally say hello. So here I am!
First of all, there are so many wonderful people here and I already feel like I'm a part of this community and I hope our other lurkers feel the same way.

I have struggled with eating since the 5th grade. I would heavily restrict frequently and was underweight pretty much all of middle school and into high school. Junior year of high school I stopped growing and was still overly hormonal so I ate like the teenaged beast I was and actually became overweight. The reaction I got to being overweight was far more extreme and insensitive than when I was skinny and it hit me pretty hard.

After high school I "got healthy" and had a decent relationship with food and exercise. But I was still living with my family and constantly had people pushing me to eat "normal" even though so much of me wanted to resist it and restrict. It made me hate myself, like I was trapped.

When I moved to Chicago from the suburbs I was pretty much on my own. That gave me the power to eat what I wanted, which was pretty much nothing. My weight dwindled rapidly and I was once again tiny tiny. I went home to the suburbs and my parents were in shock, they had just seen me two months ago but I looked completely different. I will never forget the look on my dad's face. He was worried, yet understanding. I suddenly felt like I could trust him with this. It was weird how much his face communicated.

After yet another 3 day fast my body had enough. I forced myself to walk a block to a convenience store and pick something, anything, to eat. Just to convince myself I was OK. The mistake was going to a 7/11... There is NO low cal food there. I walked around that small space trying to find something I could eat but I was so stressed I just started sobbing. I could feel the panic attack coming so I called my dad. He told me to go back to my apartment and go to sleep. He would be there in an hour to take me to the grocery store.

He bought me $200 worth of groceries and was judgment free on anything I put in the cart. After checking out and driving me home, he gently expressed his concern but let me be. That man has done a ton of amazing shit for me in my life but that was hands down the best thing anyone has ever done for me.
My friends, family, even acquaintances would all make comments about my rapidly changing appearance but nobody handled it like he did and I will be forever grateful.

After a long string of binging and fasts I was at a pretty healthy weight for a while. Graduated college, got a job, moved to the suburbs, bought a house, got married yadda yadda…

But now that my husband has been deployed I am once again on my own and once again restricting. And I am happy. Not only does it keep me occupied from missing my husband but I’ve been losing pretty quickly from restricting. Nothing extreme as of yet, but it feels good to push myself.

[Meme/Humor] Why I don't socialize
/u/italkiesomuch [5'7 | CW 145 | GW 115 | -40lbs| Whale Noises]
Created: Fri Jul 15 19:42:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t2ioi/why_i_dont_socialize/

[Discussion] How do you guys track your calories?
/u/MarquessOfCats [5'2 | Fat AF | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 17:56:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t24hh/how_do_you_guys_track_your_calories/
Just kind of curious. Pen and paper? An app?

I started out just using pen and paper, then moved to MFP before finally moving to Lifesum. The database isn't huge, but it's such a pretty app.

What about you guys?

[Rant/Rave] Meal plan woes
/u/ummyeahokay [5'5" | 124 | 20 | -23 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 17:34:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t218a/meal_plan_woes/
I've been in recovery for a while but I had to switch therapists a few weeks back when my old one left. In the three weeks before I saw my new one I relapsed pretty hard and I've been restricting really heavily and actually seeing a lot of progress in losing weight (8 lbs in a month!). My new therapist is understandably worried and wants me to do IOP, and she had me visit with a nutritionist today at the clinic for a meal plan. The nutritionist is being extraordinarily nice and isn't making me do snacks yet, but fuck me I feel so nauseous looking at what I have to eat. Before, I was actively seeking recovery but right now I only have one foot in the door, and that foot is tied down by obligation. I really really don't want to do this. I go home next month to see family and I want them to see a difference. I want to fit into my old clothes. I want to not have to think about food - god I hate grocery shopping so much. And now I have to prepare meals again. Gahhhhh

[Rant/Rave] Shirataki noodles I love youuu
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Fri Jul 15 16:59:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1vrw/shirataki_noodles_i_love_youuu/
My mother thinks they're regular old pasta and so she buys them for me now in multiples because they're my "favorite". Thanks for indirectly sponsoring my Ed 😊

[Other] You people weren't kidding about halo top!!
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 16:34:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1rm2/you_people_werent_kidding_about_halo_top/
So I was hankering for sweets when I remember the highly talked about halo top ice cream. I have had arctic freeze or whatever that frozen powder is called and it was so bad. I assumed any high protien low cal ice cream would be like this. I went to fry's and got 3 flavors, I didn't care if they tasted bad I needed sweets that wouldn't make me want to die. You guys, I cried! I ate half a container and slowly savored every yummy creamy bite and was still in my 500 cal limit. No more sad period chocolate binging :') I can cave zero calorie root beer floats. I smiled all night knowing I didn't have to feel too bad about binging on ice cream. You guys, this saved me,.

Binged for the first time in weeks
Created: Fri Jul 15 16:27:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1qeg/binged_for_the_first_time_in_weeks/

[Help] Does anyone have any good vegetarian meat recommendations?
Created: Fri Jul 15 16:02:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1m5a/does_anyone_have_any_good_vegetarian_meat/
I went to the vegetarian frozen aisle the other day wanting to try some low-cal substitutes, but there's so many brands and kinds I didn't know where to start!

[PSA] Regarding "that askreddit thread" and brigading
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 106.3 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 15:27:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1g6o/psa_regarding_that_askreddit_thread_and_brigading/
We understand that the recent askreddit thread has been upsetting to a lot of users who feel like it has misunderstood and mischaracterized what this subreddit is all about.

While we know that there might be a strong desire to comment on that thread to correct inaccuracies or provide an inside perspective on what we're really about, or at least upvote those who have already done so, we ask that you to refrain from doing so.

We do our best to provide a safe and welcoming space for those who need it and would hate for that to be jeopardized in anyway. Brigading threads in other subreddits is a violation of the rules here and something that the mods can't condone because we do not want to jeopardize the status of this community. If we see anyone doing that going forward, we will unfortunately be forced to issue warnings. (If you do refer to anything from another thread or subreddit, please use np.reddit.com to link, as stated in Rule 7.)

Instead, we invite users to share their feelings regarding the post here. We understand how alienating what was said can feel. We encourage you to share your thoughts in the comments and provide support to one another.

Additionally, we anticipate a potential increase in traffic due to that thread. Please continue to be vigilant in reporting any posts or comments that make you feel uncomfortable or violate our rules and message the mods with any concerns <3

All credit to /u/Glitter_Cunt for kindly writing this up!

[Tip] The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying
Created: Fri Jul 15 15:21:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t1f7t/the_lifechanging_magic_of_tidying/

[Rant/Rave] Ran nearly an hour in 90 degree weather!
/u/efflorescence-n [5'10 l F l 🌸💖✨]
Created: Fri Jul 15 13:50:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0zeo/ran_nearly_an_hour_in_90_degree_weather/
first time posting here so i apologize if this is not the right way? please let me know how to fix it (and i think i add a flair after i post this which i will do...)! and fair warning, this is a bit of a ramble because I don’t really share this stuff with anyone in my life hence the essay so thank you for reading this if you do - you're a very lovely soul!

so last night and the night before was a terrible binge armageddon and i decided i'm going to fast for the next few days and go for a run this morning to pick myself up by the bootstraps. well i got back from my run an hour ago and then my internet decided to crash as i was typing this (such is life) so here i am again trying to document my small-victory which I hope is alright? i woke up late and didn't feel like running but i know i needed to do it for myself so i ended up going around noon and it was scorching hot but i did it it! like i ran as much as i could (5 miles or so?) and only stopped because it was way too hot and i didn't feel like inflicting any more pain on myself but i'm really happy about it :”) although, running at noon through a tourist-attraction with ~500+ people staring at you/in your way as you wear a boyband t-shirt is not exactly exciting #relatable i still did it and i got to enjoy sweating balls to the walls for the first time in a while since I haven’t ran in weeks and i usually do only half hour runs!

i'm planning on fasting for the next few days to get myself back on track as well. i was able to fast this week for roughly 48 hours (monday night to weds. night) but then I just felt like eating when I got home (lol) and the worst part is, I wasn’t even hungry????? so I was like ‘oh man, I should probably eat a little bit’ and i just was craving the sensation of eating *facepalm* but i knew i shouldn't... and a little bit turned into the last supper basically:))) BUT I can do this, so I’m dedicating myself to fasting ‘till Tuesday maybe? Or at least Monday would be nice so this is kind of an accountability post so I can ensure I stick to my word since it’s on reddit now lol

also, i'm really thankful for this community; even though i've mostly been lurking and commenting and am fairly new, i really love how inclusive this community is and how supportive and kind you all are. i get really excited to come on here and read what's going on and genuinely want success and happiness for you all. when 'this' got really 'bad' a few years ago for me, i thought it was just me who had these thoughts and did these things, and that i was some outlier so I tried to keep quiet, but i know that i'm not bad and that there are other people out there and i'm looking forward to encouraging everyone to their goals (whatever those may be) and reaching mine. hope this was ok and thank you for reading I hope u have a beautiful day :~)

[Rant/Rave] Unknowingly drank regular instead of diet Cola
Created: Fri Jul 15 13:46:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0yn8/unknowingly_drank_regular_instead_of_diet_cola/

[Other] When you get a massage
Created: Fri Jul 15 13:44:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0yac/when_you_get_a_massage/
And the guy complains that there isn't anything to move around and then asks why you are smiling so strangely.

Because I'm insane.

[Discussion] Any of you guys use S Heath?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | -50 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 12:25:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0jys/any_of_you_guys_use_s_heath/
It tracks steps, food, water, and sleep but you can also have it connected to other apps (there's quite a few) to track other things or track the same things differently.

I'm really liking it so far, any other thoughts/opinions?

[Tip] DIY Pizza, <100 calories/piece
/u/silverturtle [5'2" | 114 | 21.6 | -16 | F/23]
Created: Fri Jul 15 11:36:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t0ay4/diy_pizza_100_caloriespiece/

[Discussion] So I guess I officially have an eating disorder.
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 11:23:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t08ay/so_i_guess_i_officially_have_an_eating_disorder/
After 10 years of no official diagnosis and possibly not meeting the criteria for one, today my group therapist labeled my disordered eating as an actual eating disorder. For a split second it was validating, but then I just thought "Whoa. I am not ok. What I am doing is undeniably unhealthy." It was kind of a shock. The group therapist doesn't know about my eating issues in depth, so he could think it's worse than it is. But, the more I think about it, I don't know how my relationship with food and eating and weight could be anything but a full blown eating disorder. It's never been super severe, and I'm in the process of recovery, but I guess it's a disorder nonetheless.

When you all were diagnosed, how did you feel?

[Rant/Rave] Worried about this weekend.
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 11:15:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4t06wg/worried_about_this_weekend/
I'm currently sitting in the back of my parents' truck, en route to go camping. It's a six-seven hour drive and I don't know if I'll survive it.

The entire past week has been stressful with my mom last-minute planning this trip, even though she's known she had a four-day weekend for the past two months. Instead she waits until a week beforehand and then gets frustrated when she can't find a campground with RV availability (plus all the forest fires going on further narrows the availability). She finally found a place Wednesday night, and then scrambled to find accommodations for our cat. And then yesterday she came home deciding that she would just leave the cat alone for four days. With "enough food." This is a cat who inhales his food, gets regular wet food in addition to his dry, gets destructive when he's bored, and is the most personable, human-centered cat I've ever met. It took me posting to a subreddit asking for vet advice to change their mind, because they'd been advised by "decades-long cat owners" that he probably wouldn't even notice that we were gone. The cat that I wake up with curled on my chest or between my legs. Right.

And with all the stress my dad becomes entirely unbearable. For example, I got called a "selfish little twit" for not taking out the trash when he "asked" (I was in the middle of doing something else).

And then I read about Nice. I don't mean to diminish any of what happened there. My heart bleeds for all of the friends and families affected - either those injured or killed, but also those who lived through the trauma.

But my fucking dad. I'm like clenching my teeth just writing this. Turn the TV on after seeing the live thread, and at some point they emphasized "not confirmed terrorism." And off my dad goes with his islamophobia and racism. "Every time one of these attacks happen, *ohhhhhh* we can't assume terrorism! Don't go blaming the Muslims! It's definitely a religion of peace! But any time a cop kills a *black man*, then we don't need to hear the full story, about how he had a pistol on his lap and didn't have a concealed carry license."

I'm just. I don't even know what to do. If I say anything he goes off on me. And I majored in sociology so this stuff *really* bothers me (not that that's a requisite to have some basic fucking human decency right after an absolute tragedy but just for context).

With all the stress, when my mom and I went to Trader Joes for salads for me (love their salads) for the weekend, I made an offhand comment that their dried mangos were really yummy, and she threw that in and bought it. And I was internally panicking but didn't say anything. I should have. Ended up eating the entire 540-calorie package that she thought was a "healthy snack." And then of course this morning weighed in a full two pounds heavier - while I cognitively know that it's stress and water and food retention, it's still just another stressor added to the plate, on top of stressing about restricting this weekend in front of my parents, as I know they have no idea that I've only been eating dinner.

When I started typing this out, my mom had just read an article naming the Nice truck driver as Muhammad. And off my dad goes again. I can't take this. I can't take this.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 15, 2016
Created: Fri Jul 15 10:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4szth1/daily_food_diary_july_15_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 15, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Goal] Using my old self as motivation
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:57:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4szhhx/using_my_old_self_as_motivation/
It's funny that years ago, at my lowest, I hated how I looked. I thought I was disgusting. I used to play games with myself where I'd hold dumbbells and step on the scale to see what it would feel like to weight a lot more. The highest I got to was 140. At the time it was comforting knowing I'd never weight that much.

Today I weighed 139.2. I can't describe that feeling. The hatred I have for my body is unmatched. I'd give anything to even be half way there these days.

Maybe public shame will be enough to kick my ass into gear. So [here](http://imgur.com/a/yKoY0) are some photos of my lower weights, and what I look like now so you can feel better about yourselves today.

[Discussion] Does anyone else have a parent or sibling with ED?
/u/weedecrestrictrepeat [5'4" | 127.0 | 21.80 | -6.2 | 24/F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:33:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4szde4/does_anyone_else_have_a_parent_or_sibling_with_ed/
I was diagnosed with anorexia my senior year of college and never told my parents. I have brothers who were ALWAYS skinny and never had to worry about what they eat, so my struggles and fears of being fat were kept to myself from as early as age six. I was jealous of them for their fast metabolisms, and my dad would joke that I took after him and had to be more careful. As I've gotten older and my weight has fluctuated more, my dad and I have really bonded over our shared food problems. Recently he confided he only consumes about 5-700 calories a day and if he goes over he tries not to eat the following day in order to make up for it. Is it weird I'm worried about him? Even though I literally do the exact same thing every single day? I feel like such a hypocrite but I can't help it. Almost all of the habits he told me about (weighing himself multiple times a day, having anxiety about eating out with friends or family) are problems I have too and it makes me so sad to think he's dealt with this alone for so long. I guess this is just a rant but I don't know, I'm so confused about how I feel lol anyone else relate?

***EDIT*** Thank you all so much for being so open and honest with your experiences. Not that I expected anything less but it's interesting to see all of the similarities in our stories. It really is so amazing that this community exists. I don't know what I'd do without you all here.

[Rant/Rave] "What are you like 100 lbs soaking wet"?
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:33:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4szddq/what_are_you_like_100_lbs_soaking_wet/

[Rant/Rave] Not a very good day
/u/Lailora [171 cm| 74kg | 25.5| -1kg | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:12:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sz9u4/not_a_very_good_day/
Yeah....things are not going well.
I'm at my parents for summer and I have gained 2kg (4lbs).
My solution for the problem? Bring on the wine! ugh...I'm not a very clever person.

But I was a bit extra sad today, because next week me and my husband are finally going on our honeymoon. I had used loosertown to calculate how much I would have lost if I could have focused.....I would have been down almost 5kg (11lbs not including the weight I gained!) on the day of our trip. I really feel as a huge failure who has no discipline. I just don't know what to do...

I have to hit it really hard when we get home. The gym, food, everything! I can't stand myself!

That bottle of wine looks really inviting right about now....

Hope you ladies have a better Friday! <3

[Rant/Rave] Sorry for the negative post guys - 3 donuts, then purged at work.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Fri Jul 15 08:12:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sz9qe/sorry_for_the_negative_post_guys_3_donuts_then/
MY supervisor brought (only) me donuts this morning. I was like, "awe, that's really nice.. but goddamn I don't want to eat these"

But then I felt I almost had to because my SUPERVISOR.. went out of their way to bring me donuts.


So.. pulled them apart and drank a whole bottle of water with them. 3 donuts down. Good job being normal, McKenzie.


Went to the public bathroom and purged for twenty minutes.

Then I sat by the toilet, staring off into space, thinking "what the fuck am I doing with my life?" but at the same time having no intention to stop what I'm doing (besides eating donuts)

It's just been a "bleh" day.. already.. at 9:11am my time.

[Discussion] In light of the AskReddit thread that's been going on, here's an article that hits home - "The Biggest Misconceptions About Eating Disorders (From Someone Who's Had One)"
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 07:55:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sz6zd/in_light_of_the_askreddit_thread_thats_been_going/

[Help] A little worried about going back to college soon.
/u/caithaa [5'7 | 161 | 25.2 | -28]
Created: Fri Jul 15 07:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syy7d/a_little_worried_about_going_back_to_college_soon/
I flew back home for the summer, and it's been so easy to restrict because I'm able to cook for myself and don't have people eating pizza around me daily. I also am not going out much, so it's easier to eat very little since I'm not spending a lot of energy.

Last year, I gained 40 lbs my first year of college. I'm scared to death of the same happening again. Anyone experienced in dealing with college have any tips for me?

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! July 15, 2016
Created: Fri Jul 15 06:03:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syqvz/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_july_15_2016/
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for July 15, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!


1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Help] What should I do?
Created: Fri Jul 15 05:44:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syoqc/what_should_i_do/
Hey all! I've got a bit of a predicament right now and I'm not sure how I should take it. I'm on a successful 0 calorie 36h fast, but today I'm being forced to eat lunch and dinner unexpectedly. I have no idea what it's going to be and won't necessarily be able to log the amount of calories. Now here are my options: I can eat breakfast, breaking my fast but allowing me to be less hungry for whatever it is I will be having for lunch and dinner. Or I could not eat breakfast and have lunch and dinner but take the chance that I'll be hungrier and eat more. What do you people think?

[Other] 140 cal lunch: rice cakes with cottage cheese and rocket/arugula!
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Fri Jul 15 05:31:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syndz/140_cal_lunch_rice_cakes_with_cottage_cheese_and/

[Rant/Rave] Finding it difficult with my BFF
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 05:17:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sylzb/finding_it_difficult_with_my_bff/
In the past my BFF has been my inspiration, she lost a ton of weight when I hadn't seen her for a few months (we were both overweight BMI at the time) and I suddenly realized I could make the change too. She used to eat 600 cal/day everyday and then have free days at weekends. It worked for her and she got super slim. When we called each other on the phone we could spend an hour talking about what nice food we had discovered under 300 cals or how much we ate this week or whatever. It was wonderful, because let's face it. ED or not, talking about your diet to someone who is not on a diet is impossible.

But in the last 6 months my friend has gained a lot of weight. She is 'overweight' BMI again and she is really unhappy. She keeps telling me 'i wish I could be like you' and sighing like it's impossible. I find her motivating, because I don't want to go back to where she is, waking up each day hating myself. However I am getting so frustrated with her. She knows how hard you have to work to lose weight and all I get is negative energy and 'I can't do it' whinges. I am trying my hardest to be nice. She is so beautiful and it doesn't matter if she has a few extra pounds she is the most wonderful person I know. But I feel like if she tells me about the take away she just had and then whines that she wishes she were slim once more I am going to lose my rag. I would love a fucking take away. But this is more important right now. Hearing her talk about how unfair and hard it is makes me want to scream. We both know you have to make a daily choice about what we eat and how we feel. If she hates it so much she needs to change something. But I feel like she just wants the magic fairy to come and speed up her metabolism so she can carry on eating and not gain. It's not realistic. it's childish.

Now I have written this I realize that the thing that is making me crazy is that she is ME, me from 1 year ago, me from 2 years ago. I acted like a child, eating everything I could get my hands on and then being sad that I was fat. I don't hate her, I hate being reminded I was so stupid.

So sorry for the long vent, but at least I have worked out my issue!

I need (non-ED) support. Please
Created: Fri Jul 15 04:38:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syi4h/i_need_noned_support_please/

[Discussion] Strange question but.. Any shorter, low-end healthy BMI females ever lost 4-5lbs within 4 weeks?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Fri Jul 15 03:37:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4syc4n/strange_question_but_any_shorter_lowend_healthy/
Eurrghh. Never thought I'd see myself asking a question like this but I'm panicing, I guess. So yeah. My 88lbs by September 1st goal.

The scale is sort of fluctuating between 91-94lbs for me at the moment. I think the upper end could be water weight/bloat as I do wildly vary my intake... but the lower end is me literally empty of EVERYTHING after fasting, peeing away all my water weight, NO bloat, etc.

Anyway. My TDEE is so low according to calculators (WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A HOBBIT. WHY), and I think they're accurate for me realistically too. Reaching my goal is gonna be SO TIGHT with my current restriction/overeating habits.

Of course, if I got rid of restriction-free/binge Sundays then I could reach it with how I eat during the rest of the week.. but I also know that getting rid of my Sundays will mean fucking myself up for the rest of the week and probably ending up eating MORE calories. I don't have the willpower, without the Sundays..

I guess I just want to arm myself with some info... or hope? Or just talk. Or ramble. Any females around the 5ft mark with lower TDEEs (around 90ish lbs type TDEEs) ever lost that much, in that amount of time? What was your diet/activity like?

Hoping to get a phone off a friend I can play Pokemon GO on soon, which will give me great motivation to do a lot of walking on my rest days. IF they give me the phone. IF.

*-flops on floor-* I need to be thin and pretty for my break away with my boyfriend it is so importantttt. It's our first break away together!

[Tip] For my fellow popcorn lovers. . .
Created: Fri Jul 15 01:34:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sy0jd/for_my_fellow_popcorn_lovers/

[Rant/Rave] I binged and I hate myself so much right now.
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 00:30:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxtyv/i_binged_and_i_hate_myself_so_much_right_now/
I'm in a rage against myself and my heart has plummeted. I've eaten under 1000 calories the past 7 days, but today I ate 1960. I was 121 lbs earlier and am 123 now. Will it go away? If I eat 1000 calories tomorrow will I get back down? Help, I'm really hurting right now.

[Rant/Rave] Feeling Very Off-Kilter This Week
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Fri Jul 15 00:24:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxt9o/feeling_very_offkilter_this_week/
Sort of a long rant. TL:DR = My mother flips on a dime from being proud of my weight loss (she doesn't know the source of it) to verbally rebuking me while in front of her siblings during our vacation. I now have no fewer than 4 people monitoring what I do or don't eat.

So, I'm on vacation with my mother. It's a yearly thing to see aging grandparents. I enjoy it. Except....the yearly monitoring of my food intake. I have never been diagnosed with an ED as I've never told my doctor or psychologist about my eating habits. I am a 30-year-old, married woman.

Rewind a few months: I tell my mother how much weight I've lost (nearly the true number) and why (I didn't feel good about myself, and didn't feel healthy) and how (watching portion sizes). She says she's proud of me, and that "I inspire her".

This week: Aunts trickle into town. Each time another one comes in (there are 3) Mom says something along the lines of "isn't Whisper thin? She's not eating as much these days." *Insert eye roll from mother here*. I needed new pants for work, and she went with me to a local outlet store. I fit into 2s US (which, realistically, are at least 4s) and she started making comments about it as well to the family. "Oh, Whisper won't eat that. She thinks she's fat now. I told her she wasn't but she just doesn't eat." In a very condescending and angry tone complete with that look that accompanies a finger-wag. Every Aunt has commented on my weight immediately on seeing me. I have most certainly not lost that much and am still in the "healthy" weight range. Smack in the middle of it, actually.

Let me be clear, I haven't restricted AT ALL since we've been here, no matter how much I want to. I eat lunch. I eat dinner, I eat dessert and make sure they see me eating snacks. 2 of the Aunts are nurses. I don't have time for that.

So now I'm very stressed at constantly being hounded about my food for the 30th year in a row, ashamed like I've done something to upset my mother (grew up in an alcoholic home and was "the fixer") and stressed about the amount of calories I've been putting into my body. Not to mention angry at myself for dealing with this as I'm a fucking adult. Just.....off this week. I wanted to share this to make sure I'm not going insane. It sure as hell feels like it.

Edit: Asked my mother in private if I'd offended her regarding my weight loss since she seems to call me out on it in front of everyone. She got offended and asked me who I thought she called me out in front of. -_- Then angrily told me she's not upset.

*when I say "angrily", it's realistically very minor. I pick up on small changes in tone or body language and everything sort of gets amplified for me.*

Sorry. Long rant, it's late, can't sleep and just fucking stressed.

[Discussion] Anyone else love stretching on an empty stomach?
Created: Thu Jul 14 23:46:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxp8u/anyone_else_love_stretching_on_an_empty_stomach/
When I can keep my head out of my ass long enough to actually go on a true fast one of my favorite things to do is to lay in bed and just stretch. Feeling the tightness of my empty stomach and sucking in without feeling bloated gives me the strength to continue fasting. Anyone else notice this?

[Rant/Rave] Went to movies by myself, got a free COMBO: Drank a large Diet Dr. Pepper. Bag of popcorn sat next to me untouched.
Created: Thu Jul 14 23:10:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxl9y/went_to_movies_by_myself_got_a_free_combo_drank_a/
Not ONE kernel. Like... How??? Today was a fasting day so I feel that has something to do with it - once I touch some food its like all down hill from there. But I had coffee today and then sipped on that Diet Dr. Pep like nobody's business. Had to pee so bad twice but was worth it.

Took the bag home, weighed the total contents, tupperwared it, probably will throw out tomorrow, and am now going to search how many calories are in 180 grams of movie theatre popcorn (unbuttered..).

Another tip I used during the movie: I played with silly putty. I have anxiety/OCD tendencies where I get restless so I play with it in class or on long car drives - this worked perfectly too to not help me think of the popcorn.

I know we aren't supposed to give points
Created: Thu Jul 14 22:56:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxjoq/i_know_we_arent_supposed_to_give_points/

[Other] I'm sorry to ask, but will somebody please link me (PM or comment) to the AskReddit thread that everybody's talking about.
Created: Thu Jul 14 21:44:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sxapy/im_sorry_to_ask_but_will_somebody_please_link_me/

[Rant/Rave] Little funny story
/u/Phiohtrue [5'4.5 | 129.0 | 22.14 |- 18.2 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 21:34:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx9gn/little_funny_story/
I was getting coffee with my supervisors and one of them offered me a bit of a pastry, of which I had already taken a chunk out of. I declined and he was like, "oh come on!"

me: "I'm on a diet right now"

him: "why?? that's really not necessary. do you want to disappear?"

me: (YES goddamnit) "it'll be my superpower, like invisibility" *changes subject*

Hit a little too close to home - I'll have to be careful around him in the future. He's definitely thinner than I am, the irony is strong.

[Other] Dinner :)
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 21:13:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx6sg/dinner/

[Other] Found out watermelon is a laxative
/u/yugogrl2000 [64" | 158.9 | 27.27 | -5 | Demigirl]
Created: Thu Jul 14 21:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx52o/found_out_watermelon_is_a_laxative/
I didn't realize that watermelon can have laxative properties until I basically ate nothing but watermelon for 3 or 4 days. Well, I am 3 pounds down. Can't complain.

[Goal] Had a Skype conversation that put me in a good mood
/u/Saltycook [5'4"| 128# |22.4| -35# | Female]
Created: Thu Jul 14 20:41:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx2cp/had_a_skype_conversation_that_put_me_in_a_good/
My friends and I live on opposite coasts and I haven't seen her in 2 years. Since I last saw her I've lost 22lbs and have kept it off! She commented how thin I looked on the monitor and I was positively blithe. Hoping by the time our vacation hits, I'll reach my goal weight (104). Just wanted to share this with you all :)

[Rant/Rave] The things I do for this
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 84 lbs | 16.08 | -23 | f]
Created: Thu Jul 14 20:34:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx1ft/the_things_i_do_for_this/
I just walked two miles to and from this store so I could get binge candy in HUNDRED DEGREE HEAT. I think I sweated off like two pounds, holy shit. My legs are jelly and I feel like I'm going to throw up but at least I've got my damn sour gummy bears.


The things I do for you, Mia

[Goal] bad news/good news/ idk
Created: Thu Jul 14 20:23:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sx01h/bad_newsgood_news_idk/
I'm back from the psych ward (not ed related, I'm still fat) and got some news. My scale is about 10 lbs off making me almost overweight, and because I'm short af my bmr is 1400 so even the recomended minus 500 cal will put me on a 900 cal intake. The good news are: I seem to have a thyroid problem so I'm probably going to get some pills to help me for that so that's nice, plus starting prozac which decreases hunger and gives me nausea.

It's july 14th and my family does a huge shopping spree on early august so I have to lose as much as possible.

I'm getting some blood tests done tomorrow so I haven't eaten since 5 pm and will probably eat at around 9 am, so 16 hour fast.

The plan is to burn off everything I eat for 20 days, I'll update later I guess.
I'm bravbo, have had an ed for about 4 years and my lowest weight put me just on the healthy range so good luck myself.

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] As a guy I hate that I'm supposed to have muscles
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |140lbs|21| Male]
Created: Thu Jul 14 18:44:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4swm3j/rant_as_a_guy_i_hate_that_im_supposed_to_have/
At my lowest weight I felt happy about my body but I hated it when I had to take off my shirt. Everyone assumed that since I was thin that I had to have a six pack and a v line. Noooope. At my LOWEST weight (5'9 and 123) I still had fat around my stomach. I'm extremely jealous of guys that do have that six pack and those muscles. Ugh. Its hard AF for me to put on muscle, but putting on fat is just too easy.

[Intro] I've been struggling
/u/zaniathin [CW 163.8 | BMI 29.82 | GW1 140 | -5.2 lbs | 22/F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 18:00:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4swf70/ive_been_struggling/
Soooo this is my first post here, been lurking for a long time and I relate on so many levels with you all here.

I restrict and then catch myself and attempt to be a bit healthier because my fiance knows about my past eating disorder and I don't like to worry him but somehow though, I have found myself falling back into restricting with no urge to stop myself. I've become more neurotic about what I put into my body, how many calories I consume, becoming secretive with not eating or simply making an excuse as to not eat a meal.

I recognize all these signs as how I was in the beginning when it first started before it became an obsession. Its the start of the desire to control every single calorie and substance that goes into my body. That all being said I have no desire to stop it.

I think maybe it has to do with my stress level currently being higher than I've ever had it with work and my newly engaged relationship. I got injured and so I've put on a lot of weight and I know its a control issue.

Regardless of why, I want to be thin again. I want to be in complete control of my size and of my body and of the way I look and feel. I remember feeling happy and carefree back when I was at my lowest weight. There has to be correlation between that and how miserable and stressed I feel now.

I know a lot of this has been my rambling and trying to justify my falling back into restricting, but all in all it is really just me thanking this community for existing and being someplace I can tell you my triumphs and also my failures. Where I can speak about my weight loss and also my addiction and obsession with seeing those pounds fade away from my body. So thank you, and I'll be much more active from now on and actively support y'all rather than from a distance. :)

[Other] Its always our own fault
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 17:49:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4swdf7/its_always_our_own_fault/
So i was on Tumblr and I noticed that people love to call others fat, then when they develop an ED, its always their own fault. This guy was going on a rant on tumblr (since deleted it, and it was probably a troll, but a lot of people share his mentality) and it was something like "TO ALL FAT WOMEN" and he went on about how calling someone fat is their own fault because their fat and if they develop an ED its their fault for taking those "fat" comments seriously. Like? I know, I know, its probably a troll but it got reblogged by like 600 people who share that same mentality and I feel like a lot of people have that mentality and it makes me furious.

[Tip] Dae get wicked drunk just so they can go out to eat and not viciously hate themselves until like an hour after they're done?
Created: Thu Jul 14 17:44:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4swcru/dae_get_wicked_drunk_just_so_they_can_go_out_to/

[Tip] Best time to workout - Thought I'd share with you all :)
Created: Thu Jul 14 17:01:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sw5pr/best_time_to_workout_thought_id_share_with_you_all/

[Tip] Lookbook for Thinspo <3
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Thu Jul 14 16:07:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svwyp/lookbook_for_thinspo_3/
I get to look at fashion blogs/outfits and skinny pretty girls~!

10/10 recommend

[Intro] An Intro
/u/littlestpiglet [5'2" | CW: 102.2 | 18.69/19.36 | UGW: 98 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 15:40:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svsd5/an_intro/

[Intro] A (long) intro
/u/thetinyotter [5'2" | CW: 103.8 | 18.99/19.67 | GW: 98 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 15:14:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svnvq/a_long_intro/

[Help] I keep rolling calories over, saying, "Oh, I'll restrict tomorrow.." I've really fallen off.
/u/shimmergolightly [5'6" | 120.6 | 19.47 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 14:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svikz/i_keep_rolling_calories_over_saying_oh_ill/
I used to be able to restrict effortlessly. But lately I've been binging like CRAZY. It's so disheartening. :( I've gotten back on Topamax, a medication known to make you lose your appetite, so maybe that will help me stop binging so much...

Since we are all probably diet coke addicts by now, have a happy song!
Created: Thu Jul 14 14:34:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svgpr/since_we_are_all_probably_diet_coke_addicts_by/

[Other] All you newbs go flair yourselves!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 14:10:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4svc76/all_you_newbs_go_flair_yourselves/
It's a totally selfish reason, I like to see where everyone's at ;)

[Other] Those days when you feel so obvious at the grocery store
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 13:36:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sv6bg/those_days_when_you_feel_so_obvious_at_the/

[Goal] Update: No longer obese!!!
/u/Blehergered [5'3 | 156.4 | Overweight | -25 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 13:29:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sv4vf/update_no_longer_obese/
Hey guys! I haven't been that active on here because so much craziness (good/bad) has been going on in my life. I'm in the hospital right now with pneumonia and they weighed me this morning at 158 lbs!!!! On the scale at home I've been teetering on 164 lbs so I am very excited to have lost more then I originally thought.

I have barely ate since being admitted (breathing difficulties and eating don't go hand in hand) so hopefully I can can get down to 155 soon <3

[Help] How much can you gain in a week?
Created: Thu Jul 14 13:23:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sv3p7/how_much_can_you_gain_in_a_week/
Ok so I went to camp this week, which means a lot of planned meals and trips to the supermarket for snacks every other day. I must have clocked in at 3000 calories a day. I am so afraid that I'll have gained more than I've lost (since I started restricting again I've lost like 7+ kilos) and I am so scared that I'll have gained it back. I just ate half a pack of cookies and half of a giant bag of crisps and my stomach hurts so much... I just can't stop and I feel sick every night when I go to bed, I hate feeling full. I know I'm being delusional, but surely it's impossible to gain 7 kilos in a week?

[Rant/Rave] I'm an alcoholic asshole!
/u/08070427 [5'5" | 127.5 | 21.3 | -8 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 13:18:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sv2p9/im_an_alcoholic_asshole/
Blackout wasted binges all week! Can't seem to get back on track. And I really hate myself. It feels like there is an actual brick in my stomach right now. I've never felt pain like this in my life. I wish I could just sleep all day, but I gotta do adult stuff!

[Discussion] Issue I am having
Created: Thu Jul 14 12:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4suxyd/issue_i_am_having/
This sub talks about being totally open to all walks of ED but there exists this lack of open-mindedness in terms of healthy criticism. Just because this sub is a little hypocritical doesn't mean it's a bad place. I don't want to feel alone and ostracized just for explaining what I find to be truth. Multiple opinions can exist, can be valid at once. This sub can be encouraging in both good and bad ways, for ME, at least (and I assume then that this is true for SOME other people here...I'm not a unique person). I'm not being a bad person by voicing that. I would like to be able to talk about my feelings with this sub honestly...I don't mean to offend anybody, and my criticism (however mild) seems more constructive than albums of thinspiring pictures.

I know I'm quick to the defense and I've been a heavy lurker so long that I have illusions of being more involved with this sub than I seem to be...I'm sorry if this post seems out of line. Just putting my feelings out there in hopes that someone understands? Am I crazy?

[Discussion] What exactly is "model-like / thinspo weight" for women 4'10" - 5'4"?
Created: Thu Jul 14 12:31:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sutk3/what_exactly_is_modellike_thinspo_weight_for/
This question bugs me a lot and I make a lot of guesses about this but I'm really not sure. There is very little real guidance for short women who are really going for a scaled down version of the runway model type physique.

There is far more guidance for people 5'4" - 5'7" in this matter - 105 is often touted as a benchmark for someone 5'6" and much mainstream guidance just extends it to "well, 105 is thin for anyone" which is silly.

This is because the shortest professional models, like Kate Moss and Devon Aoki, are around 5'5" and 105. There is a social taboo against having a goal weight under 90. Yet lot of people are 4'11" and under 80, and don't look emaciated. But they get a "pass" for being "naturally thin".

Women 5'4" and under are rarely included in this discussion. The most famous petite woman in American media is Kim Kardashian. There is a stereotype that everyone under 100 lbs is "small" - which may be the case for someone 5'5" but, someone 4'9" even without EDs might feel more comfortable getting under 90.

I see very few pics of people in Mybodygallery under 90 lbs which is a problem for people under 5'4".

Now, people tell me to look toward the women of Kpop and Jpop, but honestly they seem to be roughly the same BMI range as US actors rather than "super thin".

I've read a translation of an ideal weight/height chart from a Japanese magazine, I think it said that 100 lbs is good for someone 5'2" which is really the same as the US "mainstream" guidance.

Models in Asia and Latin America are the same height as models anywhere else. Korean and South American soap-opera actresses are roughly the same height / weight as many 1960s American actresses; before the secular increase in US height and weight over the past 50 years.

I am wondering - what is an agreed-upon actual runway / editorial type physique weight for women in this height range?

Here are my guesstimates. But I am not thin yet, so they are just random guesses. Does anyone here who has gotten to this level feel these ballpark ranges are appropriate? For myself, I'm 5'3" and I think I will look and feel good at 83 lbs.

5'2" - 5'4" - 88 lbs

4'11" - 5'1" - 83 lbs

4'8" - 4'10" - 78 lbs.

[Goal] Pokemon Go giving me new goals- to weigh less than Pidgeotto!
/u/pcrnography [5'6" | -55 lbs | nb]
Created: Thu Jul 14 12:21:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4suriy/pokemon_go_giving_me_new_goals_to_weigh_less_than/

[Help] Did I just miss my period? Is that even possible?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 12:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sunsp/did_i_just_miss_my_period_is_that_even_possible/
I am a virgin, so definitely not pregnant. My period is a full 12 days late. I had two days of light spotting around when I should have gotten my period, and that's it. Is it even possible to lose a period at a BMI around 19? I'm 5'4" and have been hovering between 108 and 111 the last few weeks. Has anyone had any experience with this?

[Intro] Can I be here?
/u/ksarasara09 [5'1 | 108lbs | 21.31 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:53:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sulwo/can_i_be_here/
I happened to find this sub this morning when looking through someone's post history, and I'm so relieved. I've googled "pro ana Reddit" and "eating disorder Reddit" but only ever found recovery subs. I thought maybe this topic was banned or something.

My disordered eating behavior started when I was 7. Ever since I was old enough to use social media I've used it to find other girls (and later, when I found out it affects boys too) that want to shrink themselves. MySpace, tumblr, MPA. It's always such a relief to find an online forum to share.

I'm 20 now, 5'1 and at last weigh in I was 108. I haven't weighed myself in months because I guess I was "healthy" for a while. Or maybe just too busy. But lately I've been so aware of how much space I take up and I've started restricting again and I'm back to my old habits. I'm glad to have found a subreddit of people that understand. I look forward to interacting with all of you :3

[Help] How do I get my parents to be ok with me going raw vegan?
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:53:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sulqo/how_do_i_get_my_parents_to_be_ok_with_me_going/
I have been vegan for a while now and I'd like to go fully raw. Both to make it harder for myself to overeat and all. But I need to come up with something good. Any ideas?

[Meme/Humor] What do you call a secretly gay anorexic?
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:40:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4suj2q/what_do_you_call_a_secretly_gay_anorexic/
A skeleton in the closet!

This might not actually be funny to anyone else, but I definately laughed.

[Tip] How do you all feel about feta cheese?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:06:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sucge/how_do_you_all_feel_about_feta_cheese/
So I got an 8 oz block of feta last night, and it was *60 calories* per oz. Is it just me, or does this seem low for cheese to anyone else?? Idk. It's SO flavorful and filling, and it satisfies my cheese craving really well! So I'm gonna get it more often.

PS: for those of you who remember my goodbye post, I guess I'm back; I couldn't stay away, lol.

[Help] tmi : feeling empty without purging or lax?
Created: Thu Jul 14 11:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4subqd/tmi_feeling_empty_without_purging_or_lax/

[Rant/Rave] just took first ec stack!
/u/chaconnes [5'3" | :( | GW: 105lb | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 10:43:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4su86v/just_took_first_ec_stack/
damn, this stuff is potent. i took half a bronkaid (cvs by my house had it, bless) and half a caffeine pill and my heart is racing. it feels kind of like when i have anxiety, except that i'm not actually worried about anything, and i have not thought about food ONCE, which is a huge step forward for me! all-in-all, satisfied, but i think i should have started with a lower dose, as i'm not used to stims.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 14, 2016
Created: Thu Jul 14 10:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4su0gl/daily_food_diary_july_14_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 14, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Intro] Greetings from hell/an intro
Created: Thu Jul 14 10:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4su075/greetings_from_hellan_intro/

[Rant/Rave] Battling Food Obsession
/u/WithyWillow [5'3" | 125.5 | 22.85 | -84.5 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 09:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4styws/battling_food_obsession/
(Sorry for the rant, sometimes I get tired of keeping things to myself.)

I'm always wanting to buy food. Browsing grocery stores is one of my biggest forms of entertainment. I'm always making excuses to buy this or that and imagining how I can incorporate them into my restrictive patterns. I keep hoping I can have a healthy relationship with these foods if I do 'x', 'y', or 'z'. If I can find the right behaviour, the right routine, I can both 'have' **and** 'be healthy'.

It never works out that way. I buy the food, store the food, try to eat the food, binge the food, then toss the food.

Then I go right back out and stock up my fridge and pantry again with more 'hopeful' foods.

I'd say 80% of my spending money goes to food and I'll be lucky if I don't end up chucking half of it. The financial drain is ridiculous.

What is with this urge to hoard food? Full fridge, full pantry, full freezer. It's safety and anxiety, comfort and stress, gratification and despair.

I have $250 worth of 'hopeful' food sitting in an online cart right now. Hoping I can have it. Hoping I won't binge on it. Hoping I can have a healthy relationship with these foods and that they'll be 'safe'. Hoping I won't obsess about their existence in my home.

Sometimes it feels like a part of me wants me to eat myself into oblivion. It won't be satisfied until I become a fat and bloated corpse incapable of anything. There is something inside me that wants me to become obese and rip from me everything I hold dear. My obsessive food patterns seem like the only defense I have to keep this malicious compulsion from ruining my life. It's exhausting to think that I'll be constantly battling my shithead abusive fat inner child for the rest of my life...

[Rant/Rave] Fuck mirrors. Fuck them to hell
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | 84 | lol | i | F (trans)]
Created: Thu Jul 14 09:43:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stwtz/fuck_mirrors_fuck_them_to_hell/
So I'm sitting in my friends room and I see myself sat down in front of the mirror. Jesus fucking christ. I look like a fat blob. I even set off out of the house thinking I look cute today, but seeing myself in this mirror lol no. My face doesn't even look nice. I look like a fucking dude and it makes me want to throw myself in front of a car. Why can't anything be right with my body? Fuck being the correct size, my body doesn't even have the correct genitals. I'm sick of having really horrible body horror ideation. I'm sick of being obese when I've tried so hard not to be and I'm sick of looking like a man. This might be more about gender dysphoria than about disordered eating or distorted body image but idk it all seems to be one mess at this point... why do I even have to have a body...

well at least eating and not cheating is going well. Just 1hr20 until I can eat all of my food for the day.

I'm sorry for the moan, but life is getting to me more than usual today <3

[Goal] Fasting for 12 hours today.
Created: Thu Jul 14 09:40:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stw5r/fasting_for_12_hours_today/
I've never fasted before and I'm always one to get excessive hunger pains so I'm starting out small with 12 hours. If I'm successful I'll do a longer fast in a couple days. Wish me luck guys! I need it. Haha. I don't have the best willpower.

[Goal] I need to not binge for a month...
/u/pungentthrowaway [5'1" | CW: 154 | -13 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 09:13:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4str36/i_need_to_not_binge_for_a_month/
So a couple months ago I realized things were completely out of control. I was at a new high weight after reaching my lowest weight ever as an adult a couple years before. I'm going to a festival this summer and I just realized that it is happening 1 month from now. I thought I had more time but it totally snuck up on me! My dream/goal of being thin for it is definitely not going to happen because I've been binging all my restricting progress away on the weekends. I could conceivably reach the somewhat pathetic goal of fitting into most of my clothes again. I've been wearing 1 pair of leggings, 1 pair of black jeans, and some tops that I bought "oversize" when I was small that are not oversize right now. I can't buy clothes at this size, but I need to be comfortable while I'm there because this is a camping festival and I'm already anxious about the whole thing. I need to not feel like a stuffed sausage on top of everything else.

So yeah, idk if I'm asking for anything but I need to get this out somewhere and to people that aren't going to pretend like not binging is simple and easy. I think I'm gonna get bronkaid to help because the idea of being a sweaty stuffed sausage in humid midwest heat all weekend without being able to go home and make myself comfortable again is just... ugh :(

[Rant/Rave] First Binge – reflections and revelations
Created: Thu Jul 14 08:58:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sto73/first_binge_reflections_and_revelations/

[Discussion] Has anyone tried seeking help for body dysmorphic disorder?
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 112 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 08:36:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stkci/has_anyone_tried_seeking_help_for_body_dysmorphic/
*warning, long ranty post*

I feel like I need to hear from others who can relate.. my mental health has been so shitty lately. I feel like I've been so obsessed with the way I look/my weight/being perfect all my life, that I have failed to develop hobbies outside of makeup and dieting. I based my entire life off of vanity and obsessions. Fuck, I even went to college and majored in health education/nutrition and now have a job in healthcare. Not because I care about anyone else's health, but because I wanted to ensure that I knew as much as possible about food and weight loss. So here I am, with a job I hate and no hobbies to take my mind off of my fuckups.

I became obsessed with my weight at a very young age, but I've never believed that I had body dysmorphia before. My boyfriend would mention that he thought I may suffer from it, and I would say (and 100% believe) "my view of myself is not distorted, I'm just very very honest with myself about my flaws."

Then last week I stumbled upon the wikipedia page for body dysmorphic disorder. It described every thought, obsession, and habit I have. I spent the rest of the day sobbing because I realize now how fucked up I am. I realize now that it's not normal to need to wear makeup to run to the grocery store at 10pm. It's not normal to cancel plans with friends because I'm at home sobbing because I'm too anxious about how I look to go out and have fun. It's not fucking normal to wear jeans in 80 degree weather because I'm worried someone will notice how ugly my knees are or that I have cankles.

During my moment of clarity, I researched which psychiatrists in my insurance network specialized in BDD, and then I researched a little deeper to find one that I thought I could open up to. I finally found a doctor who looked promising, and I called her office to set up an appointment. I called at 4:31 pm. Her office closed at 4:30.

I told myself I would call first thing in the morning. I even told my boyfriend that I was going to get help, and he was sooo happy for me. But the next morning came and went and I never called. I still have her number, but now I'm nervous and I feel stupid and part of my brain is still telling me that there's nothing wrong with the way I see myself. After all, I'm just being honest.

Has anyone gone to therapy for body dysmorphic disorder? How did it go? Was it helpful? I want so badly to be normal and less anxious, but....ugh, my brain is stopping me. Also, I feel like if I seek help for BDD, my issues with food will surface, and I'm not ready to give up my eating disorder. I'm just not. Blah.

A sincere thank you to anyone who just took the time to read this post.

[Help] I should just fucking kill myself
/u/siberg [5'4 | 19.7 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 08:00:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stdwd/i_should_just_fucking_kill_myself/
Because that's the only way I'll ever be skinny. I weighed myself today for the first time in a long time because I'm terrified of scales and I weigh 5 lbs more than I thought I did. Fuck me. I'm not even good at having an ED.

[PSA][Repost] This is not a diet/motivation sub.
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 106.3 | 17.9 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 07:53:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4stcvf/psarepost_this_is_not_a_dietmotivation_sub/
As we grow and gain new members, this is something that needs to be periodically discussed. This is especially pertinent as we were linked in an askreddit thread and seem to have an influx of people who don't quite understand what eating disorders are.

Eating disorders are sadly misunderstood in our society. Media often portrays them as the young teenage girl that wants the perfect magazine cover body, so she skips lunch every day. But the reality is far more complex, oftentimes dark, and serious than that image allows.

Eating disorders ARE mental illnesses, plain and simple, and they can affect all ages and genders. If you haven't already, please take a moment to check out the [proED wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/faq) and familiarize yourself with the different types of eating disorders.

We understand that some of you here may not identify as having an ED in any of it's various forms, and that's okay. We invite you to read and gain some understanding of what it's like to exist with this type of mental illness. We welcome you to be supportive, and we expect you to respect our rules. What we do not welcome, however, is treating this sub as a dieting and weightloss sub. We are not a "get thin quick" route to your dream body. **If you read even a few of the posts here, you will see that eating disorders are often not about weight at all, but about control, self-worth, compulsion, or any other number of factors.**

Occasionally, posts are made here asking for tips to lose a couple pounds, while in the same breath explaining that we are such an inspiration. Without intending to do so, these types of posts are negating our lives and our illnesses. Out of respect, we do ask that you follow our rules: **We are NOT a diet sub. Asking for dieting tips or asking how to become disordered is not allowed, and will result in the removal of your posts and comments.**

There are many subs out there that can help non-disordered people make healthy choices and plans to meet their weight loss goals (and if our minds were healthy, we would be there too!). Please check the side bar for links to those subreddits. Remember, THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM!

Again, we welcome your presence among us, disordered or not. Your awareness helps to destigmatize our illness and that's a powerful thing! But please don't fall prey to the simplified and often glamorized media portrayal of eating disorders. This is not something anyone should strive for, not something anyone should want. It is painful, both physically and mentally. It is lonely and isolating. It makes you feel powerless. We can not help you achieve what you think is perfection, because for us, nothing will EVER be perfect.

TL;DR: This is not a diet/motivation sub. No one but your doctor can tell you if you have an eating disorder or not. If you do not experience disordered eating, and you are here to lose weight fast, this is not the sub for you.

[Help] Ever since I lost weight, my butt has gotten flatter. Please help?
Created: Thu Jul 14 07:33:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st9or/ever_since_i_lost_weight_my_butt_has_gotten/
Like at least before it looked a bit full but now it's just flat and weird looking.

I thought about going on xxfitness but I didn't want to mention my heavy restriction. :(

What workouts should I do to improve my butt? What kind of foods should I eat and when is the best time to eat them? Will I see results within a few weeks? I'm honestly willing to workout everyday just so that I could see improvement as soon as possible. My confidence is just so low :(

[Goal] FINALLY! HIT MY GW! (not my UGW though)
/u/stephanynotstokes [5'6 |Weight Lost: 70 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 07:14:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st6nz/finally_hit_my_gw_not_my_ugw_though/
After being at the same weight for nearly 4 months, I decided to do a juice cleanse and lost about 3 pounds in 2 days. Woke up and weighed and saw I hit my GW. I'm so thankful. Now I'm kind of scared I don't wanna screw it up by gaining. Anyone have any tips?

[Discussion] DAE bug out about period weight gain?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 07:10:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st62w/dae_bug_out_about_period_weight_gain/
I should be getting my period within the next week and it's really starting to get to me. I've been able to keep the cravings at bay with EC stacking but I'm just holding onto so much water I'm almost afraid to look at the scale. Last Friday I was 144, then I went to a cabin with some friends over the weekend and binged a bit and when I came back I was over 147. I figured at least some of it had to be water weight and I had yet to go to #2 *(sorry TMI)* since the binge so I figured I'd wait it out. It's now Thursday and I weighed in at 146 this morning. I can't believe I gained 2 whole pounds last weekend which means it's got to be period weight. But I just want to see the scale go down. I want to feel as light as I did at the end of last week. DAE just wish they could skip the week before your period so that your ED doesn't go into overdrive?

[Discussion] Do y'all trust the mirror or photos?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | CW: 95.7 | GW: 88 | 17.43 | -22 | F | Vegan AF]
Created: Thu Jul 14 06:46:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st2hk/do_yall_trust_the_mirror_or_photos/
So Over the past weeks I've dragged myself (mostly-ish) out of the binge cycle I was in and begun to lose weight again, but I am having such a hard time figuring out if my body is changing. I've been thinking that over the past couple of days that I can maybe kind of see a difference in the mirror, and my fingers are definitely looser than they used to be when I wrap them around my leg over that freckle on my thigh, but comparing photos I look literally identical. I can't for the life of me discern any difference, even though the scale says I've lost ~3 kg (but I think some of that was water weight tbh).

So what do you go off? Reflections, body checks or photos?

*p.s. I'm on mobile right now so I'll flair in the morning*

[Goal] I "photoshopped" myself (lmao)
Created: Thu Jul 14 06:43:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4st22b/i_photoshopped_myself_lmao/

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support July 14, 2016
Created: Thu Jul 14 06:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ssw4m/weekly_emotional_support_july_14_2016/

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Intro] Just a quick hello.
Created: Thu Jul 14 05:39:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sst64/just_a_quick_hello/
Hey, all. I've been lurking for a while, so I feel like I already know you all. Just want to say that I'm so glad there is a space I can be myself in with people who truly understand the place I'm in and the challenge every day brings.
For the first time, I truly believe it when someone says «I understand».

[Rant/Rave] Pokemon GO was officially released in the UK today.. and I can't play it because my mobile phone broke and I can't afford a new one.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 14 05:16:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ssqr7/pokemon_go_was_officially_released_in_the_uk/
So there fucking goes that.

It was an old phone anyway and while it was compatible it probably would have ran slow.

But fuck my life.

I needed that. I needed that distraction. I needed that motivation to go out and not wallow in my fucking bed feeling isolated and alone. Just fucking something.


[Other] ITT draw your body as it is now compared to your 'goal body'!
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Thu Jul 14 03:53:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sshgf/itt_draw_your_body_as_it_is_now_compared_to_your/
(Just a bit of fun/distraction!)

[This is mine, as a quick example :D](http://imgur.com/a/fydxW).

I've kept the little wiggly lines meaning to show my loose skin around my lower tummy on my 'goal body' because I wanted to *try* and make it somewhat realistic as a goal.. my boobs are a bit higher than they'll probably ever get though, haha. Also my 'now body' looks like a sad face and my 'goal body' looks like a happy face because I am ultra creative and artistic and symbolism and all that crap.

;) Anyway.. I'd be interested in seeing yours if you fancy doing one. I'm curious how people see themselves vs their goal (realistic or not, your choice!).. not for any reason, just pure curiosity and distraction!

Hopefully it goes without saying that it would be great if no one criticises anyone elses drawing/mspaint skills since that's not the point :) And ESPECIALLY NOT MINE OMG!! ;P

(*sorry if this post sounds/is worded funny, I'm a sufferer of the brain fogs today... sign of a successful restriction week so far tbh!*)

[Intro] Hello!
/u/noworforever96 [5'2" | 125 | 22.86 | 0 | F]
Created: Thu Jul 14 02:45:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ss9zi/hello/

[Rant/Rave] I'm so excited
Created: Thu Jul 14 02:44:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ss9xf/im_so_excited/
I can finally fast again! I had birthdays, family gatherings and all that terrible FOOD IS EVERYWHERE stuff, and now I can fast again, and become smaller. Because oh my, I can slowly start to see some light through my thighs and I'm gonna make the most of this!

[Rant/Rave] I fuck everything up and I feel like I have no future
Created: Wed Jul 13 23:21:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srm6l/i_fuck_everything_up_and_i_feel_like_i_have_no/
The guy I love is in my country right now and I'm too fucking ashamed of my body that I can't even see him! That and my mom is super protective nowadays that I can't find a way to make plans.

He didn't come just for me, but he would've been willing to do anything to finally see me. Not a lot of people from the internet can have that opportunity. But I did and I fucked it up and I'm too scared to do anything about it.

I'm finally back in school but I feel like I won't be able to do shit because I'm restricting too much. I have ADD too so obviously that doesn't help either. I want to go back and see my psychiatrist to see if I can get medication for my ADD but I feel like my mom doesn't want to bother.

I want to move away so bad. I want to live and study in Europe and finally travel and see my sister whom I haven't seen for almost 5 years. I want to see the guy I'm in love with and be closer to him. I want to finally be independent. I want a new start.

But I don't have any skills. I suck at everything. I guess I'm good at talking to people but I'm not comfortable enough with myself to even look people in the eye when I talk to them. Who would want a damaged, stupid loser in their country? Let alone let someone like me work for them?

Even though I've lost around 20 pounds, I still look the same. My once perky boobs are now a bit saggy. Everything is softer. My thighs, my stomach, my arms. I have stretch marks everywhere too. I still look chubby. I'm one pound away from being underweight, I think. And that's still not enough.

Sorry for the rant.

[Rant/Rave] I am so very very anxious
/u/honeytarte [5'5" | CW: 119 | GW: 105 | -25 |]
Created: Wed Jul 13 22:57:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srj54/i_am_so_very_very_anxious/
I've posted about this before but goddamn dude. I have nobody else to talk to about this and I am freaking the fuck out.

I'm going camping with my family starting this Sunday and my mom called me today because she was going grocery shopping for the trip and she was like, "So, we're having hotdogs/bratwurst on the 17th, hamburgers on the 18th, and tri-tip on the 19th. What kind of sausages did you like again?" and I said I didn't know and I tried to tell her I don't really like hamburgers anymore and she just told me I had to eat what she's making and that she's not going to make entire separate meals for me. Which I'm not expecting her to do. If it wouldn't be weird I would cook myself 3 low-calorie high-volume meals and bring them with me and just eat those and avoid breakfast but that would be so so suspicious and just ugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I hate this.

[Other] Splurged on some low-cal/organic products after losing 20lbs since the first day of summer :) No binge foods were bought in the process.
/u/cheeekyslug [5'6" | UGW: 90 | -60 lbs since 6/20/16 | 19/F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 22:33:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srg2n/splurged_on_some_lowcalorganic_products_after/

[Other] It was a day:
/u/musemusings [5'9"/129.6 lbs./18.79/28.4 lbs lost/]
Created: Wed Jul 13 22:30:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srfp3/it_was_a_day/
I'm at 700 calories for the day, which makes me feel like a failure, despite the 7 hours I spent ~~RUNNING MY ASS OFF FOR~~ catering a party of (12 that turned into) 28. Either way, a minor victory for me. Of those 28 people, three were men, and I was still **the smallest in the room, BITCHEZZZ!** There is nothing more empowering to me than serving cheese to girls who have 20+ pounds on me, sorry (I ain't sorry).

Edited because I format like ya grandma.

[Help] I've been binging on safe foods every night this week in order to avoid a "real" binge. But is a binge still a binge?
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 120lbs | 20.60 | GW 115 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 22:08:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4srcow/ive_been_binging_on_safe_foods_every_night_this/
Idk, my thoughts feel a bit warped at the moment so I'm coming here for perspective. I felt a binge coming on so hard tonight so I steamed a SHIT TON of brocolli, plain, and ate it in a binging fashion. I also gulped my water down as I ate it to fill myself up. It felt like a binge, the animalistic way I went about it, and i know it's super-nutrient rich, protein filled healthy food so I'm not UPSET about it. But now, of course, I have intense post-binge bloat and that stuffed, up to my esophagus feeling so I feel "guilty".

Like, ugh, this is progress from an all-out, carb/junk food binge right? Or should I just say fuck it and binge whatever the fuck bingey foods I want since i'm an animal?

Idk. And I do know. At the same time. ED ugh. Thanks.

[Rant/Rave] (Jonathon Groff Voice) Awesome! Wow!!
/u/itsalrightitsalright [5.8 | 153 | 22.79 | ~14 | f]
Created: Wed Jul 13 20:55:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sr26t/jonathon_groff_voice_awesome_wow/
[Title Ref](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84zM9ziSF_k)

Righteo, well guys, it's istota panic time!!

So if anyone remembers (Like last time, not expecting anyone to. Just kinda talkin' to the void), I've got a JDI Installation on Saturday that's complete with a whole lotta shit that's going to make me go berserk. I'm not sure if any of you know about Job's Daughters, but if you do, you'll probably understand the hectic-ness that is my life right now as HQ Elect.


My friend has has asked me on a trip. There are swimsuits and shorts involved. Lemme repeat, sWIMSUITS AND SHORTS! And if that's not gonna top it off, there are roller coasters. Which are one of my top fears. But I can't exactly say no, I mean, I'd feel like shit. But again, this whole thing (and on top of the installation) has me thinking '*Oh shit, how much restricting will it take to have me lose a million and finally look acceptable instead of a* **big ass cellulite-riddled mess??**

I mean, this is too much for me. But guess who's gonna try and take it all anyways??

That's right, guys, my stupid ass!

I don't know. Maybe it'll be fine. Maybe I'll just go and play Pokemon Go until I fall off a cliff. That sounds nice enough.

[Rant/Rave] I just want to look like a cute Manga girl.
/u/SkinnyisSexy [5'7.6 |128.4|gw115|19.6| F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 20:17:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqw5z/i_just_want_to_look_like_a_cute_manga_girl/
I don't know what's wrong with me. I restrict and lose 10-20 lbs then I ended up binging with my significant other (whom I am no longer with as of two days ago) or at my moms. I gain it all back in a matter of days get shocked and restart. I want to be small and delicate and lovely but I keep fucking it up half way there. Watching anime is oddly enough such thinspo to me. The characters are all lean and probably don't gain 20lbs in a few days

[Intro] Drunk and made an account to say
Created: Wed Jul 13 19:15:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqm9v/drunk_and_made_an_account_to_say/

[Rant/Rave] Ugh. (A rant.)
/u/swarleyandme [5'11" | 200.6 | 27.08 | -89.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:51:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqio3/ugh_a_rant/

[Help] Thinking about getting a pedometer
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:34:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqfvk/thinking_about_getting_a_pedometer/

[Rant/Rave] Getting back on track
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:30:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqfal/getting_back_on_track/
So I am in the process of getting back to normal after a 3 day binge (sat-mon). Last night I ate at a friend's house, but was sure to only eat a little of things (.5 cup of chicken, .25 tortilla, .5 cup rice mix, .25 cup cheese mix, etc) to try my best and stay within a reasonable calorie limit. I know yesterday I was under maintenance, although I don't know how much.

Today, I am trying to stay under 300 with a realistic goal of under 600. The second goal is because I've already had 211 calories today, and I need to leave room for food because sometimes if I don't eat close enough to bed time I can't sleep at all. Tomorrow is a 300 cal day, and then I should be flying out friday to visit my parents for a week. I'm currently trying to decide whether to pack my food scale or if I can convince my mom to buy one while I am out there. Luckily, my mom is always on some kind of diet (although she never seems to lose weight) so I doubt she'll think anything of my eating habits as long as I make sure to eat when she's around. Hell, she probably wouldn't even notice if I didn't eat. She is pretty easy to lie to about this kind of stuff.

Wish me luck!

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] i'm doing so bad oh my god
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:17:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqda2/rantrave_im_doing_so_bad_oh_my_god/
I've been binging non stop this week I feel absolutely vile and I really just want to die cos I've got no self control and food is my entire life in pretty much every aspect and I have nothing to show for it lkhdfhdh holy fujk I want to cut again but I need short sleeve s for work please everyone just prsy that I can survive tomorrow without a binge and start a new fast for at least 24hr I need to I need to oh hhhmyh God I'm a mess

Diet Questions from recovering? Binge purge
Created: Wed Jul 13 18:00:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sqaib/diet_questions_from_recovering_binge_purge/

[Goal] Just wanted to share some progress! This is about a 7 pound difference (124-116 lbs)
/u/MeMyselfAndCarbs [5'3" | 112 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 17:48:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sq8na/just_wanted_to_share_some_progress_this_is_about/

[Rant/Rave] I'm pretty proud of myself for what just happened.
/u/feelslike5ever [5'5" | 141.3 lb. | 23.5 | -2 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 17:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sq2x9/im_pretty_proud_of_myself_for_what_just_happened/
So I was fully prepared for today to be a cheat day. I had only had coffee and tea all day (as usual) and my dinner was going to be a box of Velveeta shells and cheese so my caloric intake for today would have been ~1000.

So I cooked my food, sat down on the couch and turned on a show. I got about half way through the bowl, and I just didn't want any more. I just didn't want to keep eating. So, what was going to be a 1000 calorie day ended up being a ~550 calorie day.

It's not much, but it's a little unexpected victory for me. Thanks for reading!

[Help] Could you lovelies help me with my speech?
/u/LessIsMoreeee [5'4'' | CW 113 | GW 105 | 19.78 | -23 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 17:06:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sq1sk/could_you_lovelies_help_me_with_my_speech/
Hey guys,

I'm in a speech class and I was going to do my next speech on obesity but someone else is doing the same topic. Instead I decided to swing in the opposite direction and do mine on Anorexia.

This will be weird for me because it is a speech to persuade and I don't quite know how I will swing the speech. Does anyone have any advice or resources I can use?

Thank you

[Help] Battling fatigue/working out with fatigue?
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 13 16:01:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spr1w/battling_fatigueworking_out_with_fatigue/
Last Monday I found out I might have cancer and the first thing that popped into my head was whether or not this would aid or hinder weight loss. Fuck me that's morbid haha.

Anyways, whatever is causing all of my health issues at the moment is also making me exceptionally fatigued. I get very anxious and have a much lower mood if I can't workout regularly, but this fatigue is really making it hard to hit the gym.

Besides caffeine and other stimulants, are there things I can do to combat it? Also, I know it's possible to lose weight without exercise, but that little irrational goblin in my head is telling me it's impossible and he is much stronger than the rational parts of my brain. Anyone have anecdotes of losing actual fat without exercise/with minimal exercise?

[Rant/Rave] I feel so guilty :(
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 148.4 | 24.51 | -14.6 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 15:55:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spq4p/i_feel_so_guilty/
I know its not a big deal, but I can't help feeling really shitty. My mum came home and brought me a chicken wrap from whole foods before leaving with my brother. I looked for a long time and couldn't find any nutritional info about it online, probably because they just make them in their deli. I took out the chicken salad from the tortilla and thought about just eating that, but the second ingredient in the salad mixture was *mayo* and I just couldn't. I crumpled up the wrapper and but it in the kitchen trash and then dumped everything else in a separate trash bag and brought it outside. Garbage pickup is tomorrow. I hate wasting food, and my family isn't living pay check to pay check or anything but that wrap was still $8.00 because it was from Whole foods. Idk. I feel bad. :( Just wanted to vent I guess.

[Other] Coaches
/u/CG_goddess [5'2" | 117 lbs. | 21.4 | 0 :( | Female]
Created: Wed Jul 13 15:48:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spp0v/coaches/
Last night I was eating fries before practice and my color guard/ dance coach told me that after I saw this season's costumes I'd stop eating fats. At least I'm motivated to start working out again and to try to shrink my waist.

[Rant/Rave] Tales of Dysmorphia with notyourtoy
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:56:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spfz8/tales_of_dysmorphia_with_notyourtoy/
So I'm at Tillys. Because I'm a 26-year-old grown-ass woman, I feel a little out of place among the braces-wearing, stick-thin teenagers everywhere. But there's a huge sale rack, and I need a dress for a date this weekend.

I see all these tiny teens around the rack and immediately know I'm not going to find anything that fits. But a deal's a deal, and I have to shop it, just in case. Because I'm poor.

There's a perfect white, flowy beach dress on the rack. It's exactly what I've been looking for for months but, it's a small. For some reason, I grab it and go to try it on.

It fits. It fucking fits. Not only that, it's kind of too big. Really lose and flowy and everything I wanted. I cannot believe it. Of course, I'm just thinking "if this fits me, what the hell are those tiny girls buying." Because even with all this I still can't see myself as a small person.

I bought the dress. But I'm very confused right now. Vanity sizing has nothing to do with this confusion. This is seeing someone I consider "skinny" and then buying the same size she buys, and then STILL seeing her as way smaller than me. When does it end???

[Other] How I get to sleep
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:42:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spdgn/how_i_get_to_sleep/
This is gonna sound really sad, but I go to sleep with my hand on my hip bone, because so so long I didn't have them and now I do it's so reassuring. It's like falling asleep with a security blanket.

[Tip] Homemade spring rolls: messy looking, but delicious and only 185 calories for the plate!
/u/notyourtoy [5'7.5" | 124 lbs | 19 BMI | -39 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:39:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4spcw2/homemade_spring_rolls_messy_looking_but_delicious/

[Discussion] Wasted food
/u/smallsmallersmallest [168cm | CW 52.5kg GW 47kg | 18.66 | -8.5kg | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:20:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sp9cw/wasted_food/
Part of the reason I'm binging so often these past few weeks/days, apart from my complete lack of self control, is because I can't stand to see food go to waste. There is currently food in the house that I know no one else will eat because there's not enough to share amongst everyone or because it's simply forgotten about. So I eat it. I can't seem to stop myself. Come dinner time, I don't choose my portion sizes either, my mum does, and she's not a small lady so her idea of a normal portion size is a little (a lot) bigger than mine, but I know she'd worry if I told her to plate only the amount I want to eat. So I get my massive plate of food and I eat it all, even when I'm full, even when I'm not enjoying it anymore, because I hate wasting food. This happens way too often. Is there anyone else who struggles with this?

[Help] Please help, I just ate an entire poke bowl and since I don't know the calorie count I feel like this is going to turn into a binge.
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:20:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sp9b3/please_help_i_just_ate_an_entire_poke_bowl_and/
Anytime I don't know the calorie count of a meal, I end up binging because I feel like I've already ruined the day.

Does anyone have any tips to combat this? I know it didn't have more than 1000 calories, so realistically I have no reason to chalk this day up as a failure. I keep telling myself that. Just don't eat anything else today and everything will be fine. But it never works.

How is it possible for my brain to know that logically I'm still under my TDEE and at the same time feel like I've already ruined everything and am going to gain weight?

[Discussion] Anyone else get random 'hunger panics'?
Created: Wed Jul 13 14:00:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sp5gv/anyone_else_get_random_hunger_panics/
I don't know if there's a name for this. But when you're fasting, all of the sudden, you think about eating and you're thinking, oh that might be nice to eat. But the purpose of fasting is to not eat. But then your mind flips to a different food you could eat and how good that could be and now you've just got all these cravings and you want to binge but it all just feels like anxiety. Is this common? Like, I've been going through fasting periods for a lot of my life, so I think I've permanently shrunken my stomach, so when I'm fasting I'm very rarely hungry. My body probably is, but I don't feel hungry. So it's weird. All of a sudden, this enormous stress befalls me and I wanna try everything and eat everything even though I'm not hungry.

[Thinspo] I guess my last thinspo was too extreme, so here, have a less extreme Instagram find!
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 13:42:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sp22o/i_guess_my_last_thinspo_was_too_extreme_so_here/

[Tip] Good posture
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 13:26:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4soyx3/good_posture/
We all want to look like dainty pretty ladies but remember to act like one too!

Remember to always have your shoulders pushed back and down (feels weird, looks good), and use your stomach muscles to keep your body straighter. Also, when walking, lead slightly with your hips (with your chest if you're a guy). Keep your chin parallel to the ground, and hit the ground with your heel first, and then roll onto your toe.

Good posture will burn (almost an insignificant amount of) calories, and will create allure. Stay sexy everyone!

[Help] Question about EC stack vs. Adderall?
/u/turtle4president [5'2" | 106.2 | 20.12 | F/20]
Created: Wed Jul 13 13:20:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4soxpj/question_about_ec_stack_vs_adderall/
(Can flair later... On mobile sorry ❤️)

Okay, so first I should say that I am NOT prescribed Adderall and I do NOT have ADHD/ADD.

Last year, my ex had a friend who sold his Adderall. I remembered I used to buy some from friends in college and I liked the effect of being able to focus, having energy, and not eating.

So, for a couple weeks I was buying his 30mg Adderalls and I was taking probably one every day or every other day and I was barely eating, went from 110lbs to like 103. I want to be that small again (my GW is 100). I know it's dangerous to use Adderall without ADHD and I don't even have the connection and it's expensive. So I'm not interested at all in going down that road right now.

My question is, are EC stacks kind of the same feeling as Adderall? I could google it but I wanted to ask anyone who has experience and can compare the two for me. I've never used an EC stack but I've read some other users' posts about them and they sound like something I want to try. Since Adderall was so effective in losing weight for me, I am curious if they are similar appetite/energy-wise.

I work out like 3-4 times a week, mostly cardio (3-4 miles running 5.5mph) and squats.

[Intro] Hello!
/u/sarah_scarlett [61" | :( | D: | -9 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:50:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sos7x/hello/
Hey everyone :) I've been lurking here on my main account for a few weeks and finally decided to make a new account to use for this sub.

A little about myself: I'm 24, live in Maine US. I've had disordered eating habits since my early teens and reached my highest weight this spring after months of depression related binging. I'm so tired of hating myself, so I'm back on track since mid-June. I've lost 9 lbs from restricting and riding 2-3 horses a day for exercise.

I'm so happy to have found this subreddit, you all are so nice and supportive <3

edit: And if anybody wants to be friends on MFP my username is sarahteedot!

[Rant/Rave] Today was going so well :/
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:41:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4soqhp/today_was_going_so_well/

[Help] are these side effects of senna laxatives??
/u/bloopitybloopblop [4'11" | 94 | 20.29 | | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:17:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4solv2/are_these_side_effects_of_senna_laxatives/
DAE regularly use senna laxatives? I can't tell if it's due to my frequent binging or my use of senna (or a combination) that's causing this, but I'm constantly bloated, have frequent chest pain, shakiness, shortness of breath, nausea, and fatigue :/ Are there any immediate ways of keeping my electrolytes in check, preferably without the use of pharmaceutical products because I haven't got much money atm. I want to stop using laxatives asap, but I fear I've developed a physical as well as psychological dependence on them, and I'm not sure how to go about rebooting my digestive system without worsening my BDD. TIA x

[Intro] Starting again for the third time
/u/boneobsessed [5'4" | Sw 173lbs | Cw 158.2lbs | -14 lbs | Gw 95lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:16:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4solpr/starting_again_for_the_third_time/

[Intro] I've just been denying the inevitable.
/u/mindgamesbodygames [5'4'' | going down]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:12:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sokye/ive_just_been_denying_the_inevitable/
My body is covered in my failures and I need to make them go away. I am 50 pounds heavier than my lowest. Turns out losing weight is a lot easier at 14 than it is in your twenties.

I can't stand my body. It feels foreign to me. Every curve, every soft line, fills me with this overwhelming feeling of dread. I gave it a good, long try. But I don't think recovery is for me.

So I guess this is an introduction of sorts. Today is the last day I will ever weigh this much.

[Help] Low calorie foods that travel well
/u/woollyshirt [172cm | 54.7kg | 18.33 | -33.3kg | NB/M]
Created: Wed Jul 13 12:06:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sojss/low_calorie_foods_that_travel_well/
I have a couple of long journeys in the next few weeks and I'm thinking about the kind of foods to bring. The only thing I can think of is rice cakes and I'll be traveling with my friends and partner so I can't just eat 2 rice cakes and be done for the day. I have a few low cal cereal bars but they're not really high volume. Do you guys have any suggestions?

[Discussion] What usually leads to a binge for you?
/u/thinismygame [5'6" | 148 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 11:54:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sohib/what_usually_leads_to_a_binge_for_you/
I think one of the most important things to stop a binge is to identify situations that make me want to binge. I've been paying more attention to that, so I was wondering what you all have noticed! (Which may help me pick up on something for myself, too!)

One thing that always gets me is when I don't exercise. I feel like I wasted the day away and that I didn't burn enough calories anyway for a good deficit, so screw it. That leads to lots of couch sitting, food, and self-loathing.

[Rant/Rave] Lol my weight right now
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | SW 130 | CW 110.2 | UGW 104 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 11:40:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sof27/lol_my_weight_right_now/
Sunday: 110.6

Monday: 109.6.

Tuesday: 108.4.

Whaaaat the heck. My intake hasn't even been that great, I'm either eating +2,000 and purging or sub-900 (thank god for tea...) But I guess it's working? Not even two months ago I spiked up to 114.6 following a whole string of parties. I hadn't been that high in a long time. I'm glad I'm heading back down again, it makes my mistakes seem less threatening to my goals.

[Rant/Rave] Annoyed af -_-
/u/throwaway03199519 [5'6 | CW 119.4 | GW 110| 19.35| -16.6 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 11:39:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4soeqf/annoyed_af/
So people at work pointed out how I'm no longer getting the burgers and fries as my meal (I work in a restaurant and we get a free meal per shift) and I've been getting chicken breast and broccoli and eating half the chicken, when I used to down that burger and fries! It used to shock/impress my coworkers. Ew just thinking about that grosses me out.

Anyways, I ended up just telling my coworkers I'm eating healthier because I'm trying to lose weight and they were all like "you don't need to lose weight! You're already slim!" Blah blah blah but this one guy who is particularly creepy made a comment that pissed me off. I'm known for having a bubble butt and used to love it but now I feel ashamed and fat. People always comment on it and stuff so I know it's obvious too but I've come to hate these comments now. But my coworker had the nerve to say "lose all the weight you want, but don't lose that ass!" It was even in front of customers. it made me want to explode. I laughed it off but then I went to the bathroom and felt so anxious and cried a bit. Ugh.

Anyone else have issues like this with people telling them not to lose weight just because their body is already "slim" or seems to be their "type" therefore you shouldn't drop pounds?

[Discussion] Calorie counts and ingredient lists are coming to big beer labels (finally!!)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 10:36:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4so2tb/calorie_counts_and_ingredient_lists_are_coming_to/

[Rant/Rave] Road trip funk
/u/Artsychic2000 [5'6" | CW: 136 UGW: 120 | 21.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 10:23:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4so0ds/road_trip_funk/
Hey guys, I am really struggling right now... Not just with the ultimate stress that is finding suitable foods on a road trip, but also not getting sick of my loving, slightly clingy at times, boyfriend who loves to eat out and not at the healthiest places. So, back story, my boyfriend used to be quite over weight before we met. He lost a lot and will probably always be a bigger guy (he carries the weight well at 6'3") However, his eating habits conflict entirely with mine, and when I am basically trying to maintain during this trip, since it's almost impossible to lose on a road trip with a doting boyfriend hanging over your shoulder 24/7, He is constantly suggesting we go to steak houses and burger joints and the worst possible options in my mind to find low calorie food. Example, last night we arrived in California around 10 pm. We hadn't eaten anything really substantial all day and had walked a combined 7 miles (we went to a zoo, a park, 2 airports, around our hotel) so he wants to go to a burger place near the hotel. I agreed, since it was the only place still open, and I got a salad that the menu said had about 600 calories. In total for the day I probably clocked in a bit under my maintenance number (but boyfriend didn't help by ordering two sides and pushing his fries on me). Then while we were walking home, he was already making plans to go to a rib place the next day. I just can't escape it! Also, I feel terrible because he is driving me a little bit nutso. Like, I want to have a little down time here and there, read a book at a cafe, browse this sub by myself without him constantly there talking about politics and hugging/ kissing me. (That last part sounds weird, but he is Israeli and is very touchy/ lovey. It's awkward sometimes in public.) Anyway. Long rant about the last week and a half, still have about a week and a half to go before flying to Israel and I would love to hear any suggestions from you guys on how I should deal. Love you all and love this sub! Have a beautiful day :)

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 13, 2016
Created: Wed Jul 13 10:02:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4snwn3/daily_food_diary_july_13_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 13, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

My dabs spilled out of the chamber for my Pulsar APX. Is there any way to clean this?
Created: Wed Jul 13 09:46:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sntm1/my_dabs_spilled_out_of_the_chamber_for_my_pulsar/

[Discussion] Whats the reason behind appetite suppressant from diet soda?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Jul 13 09:31:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4snr1w/whats_the_reason_behind_appetite_suppressant_from/
Idek if there's an exact science, or if the taste just does it.

I think maybe sweetness + carbonation?

I just started drinking diet pepsi this week, and it's made restricting so freaking easy. I drink 16 ounces of water, 1 diet pepsi, 16 ounces of water, and back and forth like that. I've had 1 meal each day of raw broccoli and cherry tomatoes. It feels really sustainable and I'm a bit excited.

Anyone else have a "super power" for restricting?

[Discussion] anyone else here have a really prominent ribcage?
Created: Wed Jul 13 09:27:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4snqae/anyone_else_here_have_a_really_prominent_ribcage/
even at my hw my ribcage still came out further than my stomach, when i reach my gw i am going to look skinny as fck and i am hyped. idk if this is a common thing or not tho

[Help] I gave in... does it count as a binge?
/u/supersizetrainwreck [5'9 | CW 130.7lb | 18.95 | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 08:33:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sngaw/i_gave_in_does_it_count_as_a_binge/
So I went on a lackluster first date last night (my bf and I are poly) and managed to avoid us going out for dinner, we just sat in the park and talked. But then I walked him to the subway and was on my way to my own station when I looked up some food places on my phone. I was relatively close to a very popular and delicious vegan spot so I thought I'd walk over and grab some avocado toast, not super low cal but delicious and filling for just one piece. Once I got there the line was around the corner so I peaced out of there pretty quickly. But then on my way to the train I hunted down a pizza place. I could have easily walked right past and been on my way home but I stopped in and got a white slice with black olives and a plain slice. I felt so disappointed in myself that I gave in. I always estimate a NY style pizza slice at 400 calories so that's 800 for just dinner! It only puts my daily total at 1,175 but I still feel it was too much. I've been using the 100 days no binge calendar that was uploaded last week (or the week prior?) and I'm wondering if I have to start over again? I already had to once because of this past weekend and I was hoping not to do that again but I ate so much in one sitting that part of me feels like I do. What do you guys think?

[Help] 112.4lbs to 109.8lbs overnight? Is any of this real weight loss?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'3 | CW:115(-15) GW:88 | BMI 20.93| F/20]
Created: Wed Jul 13 08:16:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sndbq/1124lbs_to_1098lbs_overnight_is_any_of_this_real/
So, I've been steadily weight 113-112 pounds for about a week. Slowly inching down, but nothing super significant. The two days before yesterday, I had been eating at 300cal a day and purging with lax and still 12.4 on the dot every time I weigh. Of course everything came out with the lax, but for some reason last night, I decided to mix in stool softener pills as well (TMI? idk) and this morning after (a few) BMs I weighed 109.8lbs.

That's almost two pounds. I don't think there's anyway any of that is real weight. I WANT to lol but I'm assuming water and BM is the weight loss.

Confirm for me, please. My ED brain is feeling overwhelmed about this for whatever reason *sigh*

[Rant/Rave] Scale shananigans
/u/sorryqueen [5'2" | a boulder | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 07:09:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sn239/scale_shananigans/
[On mobile, will flare soon!]

So, I weigh myself every Wednesday and Sunday, and I step on my scale today to see it at 126.3. Great! About 5 minutes later I step on again to send a picture to the boyfriend and it reads as 127.0. UGH.

I started new meds a few days ago and they haven't started kicking in yet so I feel like I'm dying. I can see and feel the inner tube of fat around my waist and thighs. It's pissing me off and stressing me out.

Y'all, I really hope these meds start working and fast. I've got a few weeks until school starts back up again and don't want to be dealing with another med change...

[Goal] I stopped mid-binge!
Created: Wed Jul 13 06:37:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smxhh/i_stopped_midbinge/

[Intro] Introduction~~
/u/EphemeralEm [5'2" | CW: 116.5 | GW: 101 | 21.3 | -1 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 06:28:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smw4a/introduction/
Hello! I've been looking at this subreddit for a while now, but this is the first time I've ever posted or commented :)

I should start by saying that I've never been formally diagnosed with an ED. When I admitted to my eating habits, I was encouraged to see a doctor about a diagnosis and a referral for inpatient care, but I declined. My eating habits are primarily focused on restriction through low cals, over-exercising, c/s, etc with occasional stretch of binging/severe overeating.

I am currently 5'2" and 116.5 lbs (as of a week or so ago) and I feel really uncomfortable at this weight. I went through a period of attempted recovery, where I tried to focus on fitness and what my body could do rather than how it looked. The longer I tried, the more uncomfortable I felt in my own skin, and I realized that I'm not in a place where I can work towards things like building muscle. I just want to feel light and empty again, and not pick myself apart in the mirror.

I would really like to get back to (or below!) my previous LW of 101 lbs. As such, I've been restricting again and it feels like a relief. I feel like things are slowly being brought back under my control. I'm also really glad to have found this subreddit; I didn't have a safe place to talk about how I feel and what I want to achieve before, and now that I do I feel so much better!

Thanks for reading! :)

[Discussion] Who here has a Fitbit? Worth it?
/u/Jaaasss [5'3 | 114 | 21.2 | GW 100| F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 06:15:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smuae/who_here_has_a_fitbit_worth_it/
Tell me your experiences you wonderful people! Has it helped you? Is it even accurate? What do you mainly use it for?

They are quite pricy where i'm from, so just trying to weight up if it will actually be worth it! It would be nice to see how many calories I really do burn everyday.

[Discussion] Way To Go Wednesday July 13, 2016
Created: Wed Jul 13 06:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smshx/way_to_go_wednesday_july_13_2016/

This is the weekly achievement thread for July 13, 2016.

This weekly thread is to spotlight those achievements you feel don't necessarily warrant their own post, but you'd like to celebrate all the same. This is not limited to specifically ED-related goals; share anything you are happy about having done or accomplished recently!

^Achievement ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Wednesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Thinspo] The scale has been going up and IDK why... Selfie today
Created: Wed Jul 13 04:43:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smioc/the_scale_has_been_going_up_and_idk_why_selfie/

[Help] Any kinds of workout that will burn calories without building muscle?
/u/leatherhoff [5"3 | 116lb | 21.2 | FTM]
Created: Wed Jul 13 04:32:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smhj4/any_kinds_of_workout_that_will_burn_calories/
Was about to do some squats but then I realised that they would probably build up muscle in my thighs, which is not at all what I want cos I'm far enough from having that coveted thigh gap as is. I'm thinking of starting to go to the gym just for the treadmills, but is there anything else that I could do at home as well?

[Help] Best Android weight tracking app, like this Happy Scale I keep hearing about?
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Wed Jul 13 03:58:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4smdop/best_android_weight_tracking_app_like_this_happy/
I can't use Happy Scale because no iPhone, I have android.

I want to start seeing a graph of my weight and BMI mainly :x Which do you use?

[Thinspo] A girl I used to follow on Tumblr
/u/lord_pterodactyl [5'2" | GW: 100 lbs | TBA | F]
Created: Wed Jul 13 03:13:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sm8gv/a_girl_i_used_to_follow_on_tumblr/

[Discussion] What's the weirdest/strangest thing your eating disorder has made you do?
/u/EasyPineapples [5'4 // CW 130 // 22.3 // -4 lbs // F ]
Created: Wed Jul 13 03:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sm7ae/whats_the_weirdeststrangest_thing_your_eating/
I think I've seen a post like this before and I'd like to see another one!

[Discussion] How many pounds does a pair of jeans last you for?
/u/aerienne [5'5" | 132 | 22.2 | -38 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 23:57:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4slmqy/how_many_pounds_does_a_pair_of_jeans_last_you_for/
I recently had to buy new pants and am in love with my AE high waisted jeggings. Normally I hate jeggings, but these are thick and don't stretch out or sag even after days of wear. Of course I cannot wait until they are loose, but at the same time hate the idea of wasting money.

I was curious how long you've managed to make a pair of pants last with weight loss. My pants from 15 pounds ago are horrendous looking now and I'm thinking that might be a fair assessment. It might be easier to keep these new ones up with the high waist, but only time will tell.

[Thinspo] Digital painting thinspo - references?
/u/obtuse-moose [66.3"/168cm | 156.0/70.8 | 25.0 | -37/-16.8 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 23:27:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4slj5m/digital_painting_thinspo_references/
I've mentioned a few times here and there that i do amateur art on the side. I've been trying to branch into digital painting and portrait painting recently, but I'm so new at painting humans that I sometimes struggle without references. So I figured I'd come to you all for help! I'd love to see thinspo images that I could use as references for my digital painting in the future - especially ones at different angles, poses, etc.

For reference, here's something I'm currently working on:
[(Please ignore the nippleless boobs, she will have clothes soon)](http://i.imgur.com/G88Sn8P.png)

**edit**: wasn't sure whether to flair this as thinspo or as help?

[Intro] parent expectations
/u/texas_native [5'6" | 118 | 19.05 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 22:25:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4slalx/parent_expectations/
I'm new here and I apologize - this is my first real post. I've been struggling with my mom lately, and just had a bad conversation with her. she first learned about my ED when I was 13 when she read my diary - 18 years ago. the severity of my ED has been off and on since then, but has never been a conversation outside of her telling me to stop throwing out my lunch at age 13...

flash forward to now - she recently told me that my tattoos are bad, that she doesn't know how I could "do that to your body." all the while it's stirring up feelings of shame and not-good-enough-ness. I wrote her trying to explain that it goes much deeper than that, that my body feels so foreign sometimes it's like I'm looking at an alien map I will never understand but have tried to be more forgiving of through years of therapy. to which she responds that we are of different generations, that she respects my "body art" etc. yet never acknowledges the fact that I feel so so blue, that I am reaching out not for help but for mere acknowledgement. despite not wanting a "fix" I feel so disappointed by her lack of understanding, by the ease she's able to gloss over the severity of how much i'm uncomfortable in my own body, by the one time I've ever slightly hinted at how deep this problem goes and how easily it's ignored.

anyone else out there with a similar situation? sorry again for the rant, just feeling real weird and sad about this. thank you all for being a community I can actually talk about this with <3

[Rant/Rave] keep your dogs on a leash
Created: Tue Jul 12 22:08:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sl89p/keep_your_dogs_on_a_leash/

[Rant/Rave] XS clothes starting to be too big
/u/concuidado [4'11 | 89 lbs | 19.21 | -51| F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 22:03:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sl7op/xs_clothes_starting_to_be_too_big/
I went to the mall and I fit into a size 0 at topshop and I also went to zara and XS on all the skirts were wayyy too big! I am a mix of emotions bc on one hand I'm pumped bc that means I'm losing but also I'm not even near how thin I wanna be so how will I find clothes when I reach my ugw?? Also zara is one of my favourite places to shop at and I wont be able to get bottoms from there anymore :'(

[Rant/Rave] Not ED related but I need to vent. (Rant)
Created: Tue Jul 12 21:50:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sl5vp/not_ed_related_but_i_need_to_vent_rant/
I have had probably one of the worst weeks of my life so far, and neither of you said a fucking word to me. I do something trivial like deactivate my Facebook and now your all on my dick? Suck one and leave me the fuck alone.

[Other] I dreamt I was thin again
/u/OtterKat [5'5" | 115lbs | 19 | -5lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 21:38:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sl44v/i_dreamt_i_was_thin_again/
The other night I had a dream and it started out with me eating. However, I was eating without an ED over my shoulder. For a moment, I was free and just eating like a normal person. Then, I looked down at my legs and not only did I have a thigh gap, but I was able to wrap my hands around my thighs. I felt utterly free and peaceful, and today has been amazing. I remembered to take my EC stack and I didnt have the urge to binge at all. Even during family dinner I didnt finish my plate. I just kept remembering the feeling of being able to wrap my hands around my thigh, something I've never been able to do.

Im so motivated right now. But its not by self hate, but instead by joy and the thought of "I can do this"

[Rant/Rave] I had something to say and it's a rant. A HUGE ONE that should probably just be in my diary if I had one
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:58:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sky72/i_had_something_to_say_and_its_a_rant_a_huge_one/
I'm drunk. Nobody is around, little is in bed, lover is a state away, christ. I had something to say. I do. But regardless, I am so sick and tired of looking at myself. I've tried all angles, and none work, but what if was the fat girl? What if I was the perfect girl? What if I had assets (lol)? What if I looked different or striking even! I am so plain and my body is nothing so I decorate myself, my hair, my skin, my eyes everything i can in tattoos if i can afford it and beggar hair and fucking do piercings. I don't care for clothes, but I love these things. I love modifying my body and always have. But I am so frustrated that I am so broke I have no money to do more. I am feeling ao anxious. I need more and i am with nothing. Its nothing different than what our ancestors did. But I'd love to be bare. I have abnormally, fetishably small tits. I have bones the poke at THEIR convenience. I have a tummy left over from a beautiful little baby and not being a slave to sports anymore. I have an ass riddled with stretch marks that honestly make no sense because of my size and the ass I got rewarded with is fucking bullshit in comparison. I wish I could just leave and go get painted. Be the canvas I loved being. I hate being so broke. I'd love my body more if It were worth loving. Its so plain and fat and messed up in all the fucking wrong places. The least I can do to help my soul is change an decorate. Fuck my life and fuck my wallet and fuck my situation and fuck it. All of ot. I'll always be unhappy. And broke. And wanting. And needing. I never saw a future for myself, even when I was a kid dealing with this. I never had hobbies or ambitions or goals. Just stuck like this. I ain't suicidal or anything. Just fucking bored and angry. I guess that makes me less bored. But more angry. I just wait and wait and wait. Its not even when the shoe will drop. Its just fun gambling on which one.

[Help] Bloated and Miserable
/u/not_an_actual_egg [5'3" | 126lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:56:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skxqz/bloated_and_miserable/
My stomach keeps making these ugly gurgling noises, and no matter how little I eat, the scale is stuck at 127.8. Also, a bit TMI, but I feel very stopped up :( I don't like it. I want to be empty inside but it's like I never remember that until I eat, but then its too late and it just feels like lead in the pit of my stomach. I'm not even hungry but I eat anyway. Thankfully I've been walking a lot (pokemon go shout out), but I don't know how to stop this ugly cycle of eating and regretting it. Or even remember that I can do things other than eat. Ugh. I feel like a mess

[Rant/Rave] Vyvanse appointment
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 189.8| 29.7| -14|F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:52:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skx90/vyvanse_appointment/
I have an appointment Thursday to talk about being put on Vyvanse for binge eating. I'm so nervous I feel sick. My normal doctor is out on vacation so I have to see the male PA that I don't feel comfortable with. I'm freaking out, but I don't know what else do. I feel like this is my last hope.

[Goal] Progress pics! F/5'6"/133lbs
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:42:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skvp8/progress_pics_f56133lbs/

[Other] Grocery shopping with ana b/p subtype
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 20:38:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skuxx/grocery_shopping_with_ana_bp_subtype/

progress pics! f/5'6"/133lbs
Created: Tue Jul 12 19:58:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4skopm/progress_pics_f56133lbs/

[Other] I never used to have dreams about food
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 18:08:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sk7uq/i_never_used_to_have_dreams_about_food/
But lately I have been dreaming (or whatever you call it when you're an insomniac with a toddler) that I wake up and go downstairs and eat a whole box of cheezits. Its my old binge food. And then I move on to another snack. And in my dream I am rationalizing my binge and how I will handle the rest of the day. Then I wake up fucking scared that I slept ate, got drunk enough that I wouldn't remember eating, or in a medicated haze went and ate my pantry. I always check for evidence and I haven't been eating thank fuck, but it is absolutely terrifying!!! After the darling goes to sleep around 9, and my bf is out of town, I have my me time. I try to fall asleep by 12 but when you have so much on your mind it's usually almost time for her to wake up before my stupid brain shuts off. Who knows what goes on and I have a history of sleepwalking and other shenanigans lol. Idk I just thought I'd share my thoughts haha. Love you lovelies (:

[Tip] Quick reminder: It's okay to feel how you feel. You are not bad. You are not worthless. You are not a lost cause. You are a human being. You have value.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 12 17:06:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjxuw/quick_reminder_its_okay_to_feel_how_you_feel_you/
How you plan to eat today or tomorrow or next week or whenever does not ever change that.

And ignore any mangy curs who refuse to understand, y'hear?

Stay safe, lovelies <3

[Rant/Rave] Rant/Intro
/u/bitterorbetter [5'5| 145| 24.1 | -15 | F19]
Created: Tue Jul 12 17:00:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjwxt/rantintro/

[Discussion] Other communities like ours?
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 16:57:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjwe4/other_communities_like_ours/
Not that I don't adore you guys, or that I'm not happy with the content here. I'm just curious about other online communities that anyone else might frequent. Especially after having one of my posts called out in that askreddit thread about what subreddits people unsubscribed from. :/ (Seriously, what the actual fuck. I know we're a very niche community, but for some random asshole to see that, come here, and then single out any of our posts or goals or habits is just uncalled for.)

I know of MPA, which I visit every now and then, and should probably be on a lot more often than I am. So where else do you guys get your fix and support from? :D

[Tip] Pokemon GO
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 16:21:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjqln/pokemon_go/
I hate exercise so much and never do it, but I have been walking ~4 miles a day because of this game! It's crazy. I actually *want* to get out of the house and do some walking.


[Discussion] idk im worried about myself and my habits that I've had for ages and I just needed to get this off my chest to people that will understand
/u/Rhyanon [5'7" | 84 | lol | i | F (trans)]
Created: Tue Jul 12 16:12:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjp08/idk_im_worried_about_myself_and_my_habits_that/
So since I was kind of young I've always had weird eating habits... I would binge eat loads and then my dad would make me feel ashamed of the binge eating so I would do it in secret... when I got a bit older (16/17) I would add to this by evading breakfast and not eating at school so I was only having one meal a day, but oft times ending up binge eating on pasta or whatever at dinner, simultaneously undoing all of my progress and devastating my self esteem in the process.

After that I got to uni and got my habits under control for a long time using keto. I managed it for pretty much about a year. I didn't even sweat it the odd time that I fell off the wagon for a day, I just got back up on it. I was so proud of myself. I got to a not disgusting size.

The next year of uni started and I was terrible. I was under a lot of mental stress due to my course and the fact I was dealing with realising I was trans. I would do keto for a day or two, only to binge eat to deal with the depression for about a week, with odd days or two of fasting whenever I felt bad, then getting back on keto again and letting the cycle repeat. My self esteem was wrecked since I was basically eating my student loan, which made me feel worse and then I would eat more to try and deal with the increased depression and sadness which would make me put on weight and then I would see my male fat dist. and hate myself and then I would feel worse.

When I started my hormones things got somewhat better... I started doing keto for more sustained periods of time. But I'm really trash at it still and I do cheat and when I do my behaviours of fasting to try and offset it have remained. I've also started running, and now when I cheat I have a tendency to run myself ragged just to feel like I've purged the bad ive put into my body. Like it's 11pm and I'm planning to go on a run in a couple of more hours when there is absolutely no-one around so they can't see me. I've also taken to fasting for more extended periods of time to try and kickstart more weightloss.

I also obsessively calorie count, and get panicked of my carbs are over 20g on MFP. On another account I was actually told that my behaviour seemed problematic over at /r/keto. Of course I brushed it off and denied it. No one brings me up on it IRL because I'm very good at framing my habits as being cool and calculated and all very academic. I'm just that person who does weird diet shit to my friends. None of them know about my compulsive fasting or anything...

Honestly I feel like a fraud posting here... I don't think my problems are in anyway severe enough to be bothering people with my trash especially since I seem to be doing a good enough job keeping my behaviours from spiralling out of control. But another part of me thinks that I might just be in denial... being trans I have a lot of experience with being in denial, so against my better judgement I am forcing myself to post this here. Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to get this out and if you read to the end, thank-you <3

anyone else at a point where they cant even enjoy "unhealthy/fatty" foods because of overwhelming guilt and regret?
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:51:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjlgx/anyone_else_at_a_point_where_they_cant_even_enjoy/

[Thinspo] side-by-side
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:48:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjkz6/sidebyside/

[Tip] Pokemon GO is a lifesaver.
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:41:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjjr3/pokemon_go_is_a_lifesaver/
I've fallen off the wagon recently, and gained back 15 pounds, but I just downloaded Pokemon GO and I walked 16 miles in 24 hours. I'm going to spend the next week lightly restricting (800 cals) while continuing to walk, and hopefully that will help me get back into losing weight again.

And anyone who hasn't gotten it, definitely try it out. It's such a good motivator, I walked over 15 miles without even realizing it!

[Discussion] losing 100 lbs in 100 days possible?
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:31:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjhzp/losing_100_lbs_in_100_days_possible/
i'm a 6 foot 4 male and i plan to stick to a very strict diet of 250-500 calories a day, mostly drinking diet soda to stay full. if i stick at this for 100 days, can i expect to lose anything between 70-100 lbs in 100 days? i'll try to walk for an hour at least 4 times a week, i have very little energy so an hour's walk would make me tired enough to sleep the rest of the day off, hence avoiding food altogether. i want to be skinny as possible for my 17th birthday in november...

edit: will be trying to stay in ketosis too

ps sorry for being so active 2nite, very anxious and posting kinda helps

Created: Tue Jul 12 15:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sje7t/photoshop_to_gw/
I was wondering if anyone was good at photoshop if I could like send them a picture of my body and they could photoshop it to look like thinspo?
I know that's super stupid but I thought I'd ask cause if I could get it done anywhere, it'd be Reddit

[Help] TDEE question
/u/4wkw4rd_f33lz [5'3.5" | 107.2lbs | 19.13(new) | -24.8lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 15:01:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sjcv8/tdee_question/
So i see /u/Glitter_Cunt post that TDEE spreadsheet every once in awhile and i decided to finally use it. To be fair, i only did it for a week bc there's always at least one day that i eat something that i don't know the exact calorie count of and i wanted it to be as accurate as possible. Anyway, i know its supposed to get more accurate the more days you input but after a week it said my TDEE is around 1700. I just found that really hard to believe. I was expecting more like 1400. Is that reasonable? Im 5'3.5" and as of today 107.6. I have a desk job so i really don't move around a whole lot. i didn't know if anyone had a reasonable guestimate as to if that sounds right and if not what my TDEE might actually be.

[Rant/Rave] ignore me ugh (rant/nsfw)
Created: Tue Jul 12 13:25:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4siuxf/ignore_me_ugh_rantnsfw/
for the first time in ages i'm eating a salad!!! a salad with fucking cheese and pasta and carbs. fucking kill me. obsession with calories has gotten to the point where i'll bite my nail and realize it has like 2 calories and it will throw me off and it'll increase my chances of binging like, 10x.

recently i've been SO fucking lonely but i feel like i can't even make friends to talk to anyone because i'm so fucking disgusting. i can't even hook up with some random person to make myself feel better because i am literally a fat fucking tragedy. i haven't dated anyone since september 2015 and i feel like i'm going to be single forever.

my entire life is on hold and i've got to lose this weight as fast as possible. i need to liquid fast until i'm 190 lbs and then drop down to 150 (i'll look somewhat normal then, still far af from the goal weight though). sigh. everything is such a fucking process.

[Goal] [NSFW] 10 pounds and 3 months later (the new weight is first) from 145 to 135
Created: Tue Jul 12 13:05:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sir61/nsfw_10_pounds_and_3_months_later_the_new_weight/

[Discussion] Where is everybody from?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 12:15:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sihhx/where_is_everybody_from/
You can share as much or as little as you like but I would love to have an idea of the diversity of this sub.

Denver, CO here.

[Intro] Laxatives and EC stacks - an intro and some questions [trigger?]
/u/beauty_in_dirt [155 | 25.10 | 20lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 12:11:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sigpa/laxatives_and_ec_stacks_an_intro_and_some/
Hi, I've been lurking for a while and thought I'd introduce myself. I read the rules but I'm still not sure if this type of post is allowed so I apologize in advance if this doesn't belong here. Just skip to the bold part for the questions. I will warn there's a lot of negative self-talk here that could be triggering for some people.

I'm 24F currently 5'6" and 160lbs. I'm very unhappy with my appearance and have been trying to lose weight, so far I've lost 15lbs since my highest weight, I reduced using conventional healthy methods of just eating smaller portions and eating less junk, but I've plateaued for over a year and started to resort to drastic measures to get the weight off.

The more I think about it, the more I realize I've never had a healthy relationship with food. When I was in my late teens up until I was about 19, I was a beautiful and slender and never over 115lbs. I ate very little and often ignored the feeling of hunger, but it was never for the purpose of losing weight or changing my appearance, I simply didn't think about food much. Actually I was born and raised by parents with high anxiety and my mom was a poor cook who would feed us meals I found incredibly unappetizing and feed me things she knew I despised. She also harped constantly about the cost of food and by the last year I lived with my parents, she'd stopped buying enough food to feed the family. Anyways I ate very little at meals and I realized later my appetite was suppressed pretty much constantly by my high anxiety.

Anyways around the time I was 20-22 I was working and no longer eating meals with the family, I started making my own food choices which weren't that great and gained until I was 130-135. It was around this point that I started feeling unsatisfied with my body. Genetically my body shape is ugly as hell, I have absolutely no boobs unless I'm fat and when I'm fat as I am now, all the weight goes to my stomach and waist, not to mention my chin. I could live with being fat maybe if the fat would go to my boobs, butt or waist and give me some semblance of an hourglass figure, but instead my stomach sticks out like I'm pregnant and I look like a stuffed sausage. If I have to have this ugly as fuck body shape I figure I should at least be thin.

Anyways after I moved out when I was 22, I got my anxiety under much better control, which came with the unfortunate side effect of getting my appetite back. That coupled with poor foos choices and having to go on medication (which I am off now thankfully) made me balloon up to 175 which I have thankfully lost 15lbs of.

The reason I say I've never had a healthy relationship with food is because I found when I started getting serious about calorie counting and trying to lose weight in a healthy manner, I ran into a problem with impulse control. I would see food and feel like I'd HAVE to eat it, and once I ate a little I couldn't stop, it'd become even harder to control myself and I'd go on a binge. It's almost like going into a trance. It's seriously starting to get out of control. My job entails working in client's houses and when they're not looking, I often stuff my face with their snacks or anything I can find. I could be fired over this if I got caught, but I can't seem to stop...

I feel like I'm wasting my youth by being fat and ugly. It breaks my heart looking at old photos of myself from even when I was 135, I was never super hot or anything but I looked so much better. I had no confidence because of my terrible acne and anxiety, now I have both of those under control and I'm fat. I feel like time is running out for me to be the beautiful person I want to be, who I feel like I could be inside.

**Onto the questions:**

1. I'm hearing a lot about EC stacks here, does anyone know where I could get an effective product/get ephedrine in Canada? I'm not sure if it's even legal here. Would caffeine pills by themselves give me some effectiveness? (Can't really drink coffee anymore due to a health issue)

2. I wanted to start laxatives but I read they can be quite dangerous, would it be okay to only use them 1-3x/week?

[Rant/Rave] my replacement Fitbit just shipped!
/u/hayleystark [5'4"|NB]
Created: Tue Jul 12 12:03:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sif5d/my_replacement_fitbit_just_shipped/
I just started a new job where I'm on my feet 7-12 hours a day 6 days a week & downloaded PokemonGo for after work (and for fun... obviously!). & with my Fitbit coming in 5 days, that's even more of an excuse to be on my feet. I hope I start losing faster soon. I've lost 4lbs these past 3 weeks which I'm proud of but I wanna get back to my lowest weight soon. I miss liking my body.

also sorry for no flair! on mobile

[Other] back after hiatus; domestic disturbance is a trigger; babyman is killing me.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | 113lbs | 20 | -38lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 11:26:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4si7s3/back_after_hiatus_domestic_disturbance_is_a/
So, I'm back, after my vacation/family reunion and self imposed hiatus.

things of note:

* Like I expected, my super mad jelly cousin raised a stink about my weight loss. *~smugsmugsmug~*

* my mother's side of the family is Caribbean (I'm first gen american) so like most immigrant families, the preferred activities were drinking, fighting, and cooking. There was SO MUCH FOOD. On top of that, my aunt (who was hosting the party) is hella wealthy and a hoarder. I can't even begin to describe how much food there was (cooked and catered). Every morning it was a full Caribbean breakfast, then a mid morning meal + drinks + fighting, then lunch, the 2pm drinks + dinner prep + fighting, then dinner, then post dinner drinks + snacks, then 2am fried chicken + fighting + drinking + dancing for no god damn reason at all.

* I surprisingly only put on 3 lbs.

* however when I came back there was some bullshit with conjugal mustache that sent me into a week long binge.

* I've finally emerged from the binge haze, but I refuse to weigh myself for the next two weeks. I have no idea what I weigh, but today I felt like I looked thin, so...that motivated me to get back on here.

Things have been rough on the home front. Babyman has been going though ALL THE THINGS; teething, vaccine reaction, INTENSE separation anxiety, and developmental frustration (he's learning new skills, but gets frustrated because he hasn't perfected them). This in turn, has majorly stressed out conjugal mustache since he is the primary caretaker during the week. So his preferred method to de-stress is to drink and stay up on a manic gaming bender for 3 days straight. =\

So conjugal mustache and I have been fighting on and off for a week. UGH. However this morning at 4 am we had somewhat of a breakthrough, which, ho ho ho, coincided with my binge breakthrough.

So I think things are getting back to normal. I hope. I missed out on my exercise this morning because I was just too fucking tired after arguing at 4 am. Tomorrow I'm back at it, if babyman will allow it. Seriously, separation anxiety is THE WORST. He screams bloody murder if I so much as step into the bathroom to pee. Its gotten to the point were I just have to let him in there with me. I can't even shave my legs in the shower because the whole 5 minutes it takes me to shower results in babyman getting so angry/anxious he throws up on himself.

Anyway, if he refuses to be contained in his baby jail while I exercise I need to figure out something I can do while he toddles around. He's too squirmy to use as a weight, and hes too young to see/experience the fun in working out with mommy. Hm, I have a 15 minuter circuit I could do that might do the trick, its stationary enough that I can watch him, the only snag is that the mat activity is like an invitation to tumble all over me. Adorable in any other scenario, except when I'm trying to get my shit done for the day, lol.

Well that's that for an update. Time to have my watery soup lunch and hopefully remain in control for the rest of the day.

[Discussion] C&S is really what's helping me transition back into restricing
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95.6 | 17.4 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 10:40:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4shyk8/cs_is_really_whats_helping_me_transition_back/
Fair warning, this is gross.

I know it's not a good habit, but tbh if I didn't chew and spit, I'd just binge instead. And that would make me want to purge. And I don't want to start doing that (even if I keep getting closer to doing it after every binge...anyways).

I have a horrible sweet tooth and used to just c&s desserts/muffins/pastries, which is easy cause they're all soft and sweet. Today I was really craving a hot, melty sub for lunch. Like so bad it was crazy. And I figured, wait, I can just c&s that too! Duh, it doesn't have to just be desserts! Except I picked a chicken parmesan sub and didn't think of how all the acidy tomato sauce would burn my mouth/throat. Rip.

But still, instead of giving in and saying "fuck it" and consuming 550 calories, I ate three bites and spit the rest out, drank a cup of water throughout, and now I'm full on 60 calories. I feel like this revelation is really gonna help me cut down on regular binges, as well as the dessert ones I used to have. Now if only I could have every meal in private so I could spit it all out. 😑

[Goal] People have started asking me if I'm okay.
/u/smokesanddietcokes [5'0 27yo/F | SW: 200+lbs | CW: 44,500g | GW: 88lbs]
Created: Tue Jul 12 10:34:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4shxd9/people_have_started_asking_me_if_im_okay/
Only twice now, but it's started.

"You look a bit skinny in your new selfie. Is everything alright?" (FB message from someone who isn't even a close friend, but some random acquaintance)

"You're looking tiny... Are you okay?" (This one was JUST now, my mothers friend is visiting her)

Have no shame in admitting this was a sort of goal. I don't think I'm the only one here, right? Who *wants* to hear they look sick, as least sometimes (I imagine the novelty wears off if you're hearing it a lot and it gets annoying)

Not because I want people to think I'm sick though - I tell them I'm totally fine - it's just like, in my mind, if I look sick, I might be starting to look actually skinny. Rather than, "fake skinny, only skinny compared to fat people skinny".

I either want to look really muscled and toned and fit and healthy, or I want to look **skinny**. Since I've realised I can't achieve the former without freaking out about the more calorific diet needed, the latter will *absolutely* do.

Feeling motivated :)

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! July 12, 2016
Created: Tue Jul 12 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4shqvm/daily_food_diary_july_12_2016/
This is a daily food diary thread for July 12, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!

[Other] One hour into my first ever EC stack!
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 09:16:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4shhya/one_hour_into_my_first_ever_ec_stack/
I've always prided myself on my ability to restrict without a crutch. After the fourth of July weekend, where I was at my newly lowest weight, I just couldn't seem to get back on the horse. After getting on the scale yesterday and seeing that I had gained back about 5 lbs I knew something had to give.

I did my research, then headed to Walgreens and casually asked for the Bronkaid. Everyone is right, it's the most painless thing on the planet. After that, I went to Walmart and purchased bananas (potassium which was recommended) and L-Theanine (supposed to help with anxiety, which I get from caffeine sometimes).

This morning on my way to work, I had a banana and my L-Theanine pill. Once I got to work I took half a bronkaid tablet with a cup of coffee. Very low doses here but I really need to know how my body responds because I'm paranoid as fuck!

So far so good! I can definitely tell that it's working because I feel focused (a calm focused, not sure if that's from the L-Theanine), and most importantly NOT HUNGRY! Yipee! Typically I would be day dreaming about food right now, but nothing sounds particularly good.

QUESTION for all you EC vets out there. Whenever I type into google "EC stack", it comes up with "ECA stack" which includes taking asprin with the doses. Why doesn't this sub do that?

TLDR; I'm still alive.

[Help] EC Stack Help (quantity/dosage)
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 118.8 lbs | 24.43 | -23 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 06:57:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgu9l/ec_stack_help_quantitydosage/
Morning (or afternoon/evening depending on where you're all from)! I finally managed to get my hands on some caffeine pills (200 mg) and ephedrine (8mg) and was wondering what you guys would recommend as a dosage.

My first day I took half a caffeine pill and one ephedrine and I just haven't gotten the chance to take it again.

[Discussion] Super relieved!! :D
Created: Tue Jul 12 06:22:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgph6/super_relieved_d/
Yesterday was my planned cheat day and I ate A LOT. around 1375 calories total that day, and I thought I would definitely gain or not stay the same. But.... I ACTUALLY LOST WEIGHT!! :D I hit a new LW today of 115.4lbs and I'm so proud of myself. This just goes to show that bingeing isnt always that bad and you can still get away with it sometimes and it's good to have a planned day because you're more in control. I wish everyone good luck today! :D

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A July 12, 2016
Created: Tue Jul 12 06:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgmuf/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_july_12_2016/

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)

[Discussion] Does anyone get to the point where they are so hungry they feel like puking?
/u/println-Hello_World [5'4 | 115.7 | 20.25 | 21.3 | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 05:04:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgfmi/does_anyone_get_to_the_point_where_they_are_so/
It's 4am, I'm shaking and I had to wake my mom up because I got the strongest feeling that I was going to puke, and I couldn't make it downstairs. I lay down while she got a bucket and time made the immediate feeling go away, but I have lingering nausea. I find it kind of ironic that in order to combat starvation, your body makes you feel so sick that you can't think about eating, and you also throw up whatever's in your stomach.

My mom said it's because I didn't eat anything yesterday. I don't want to waste food, but I feel like pretending to eat in front of my parents so they don't suspect anything (and then throwing snacks away).

Anyway, how do you guys combat nausea?

[Rant/Rave] Before/After Photos Making me feel worse
/u/FaithHopeTrick [5'7 | CW 125 GW 119 |19.51 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 04:50:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sgdzx/beforeafter_photos_making_me_feel_worse/
So I have a 'before' photo from when I was 12 lbs bigger than I am now and I took another one to compare it with. I guess that's more 'before' and 'during' as I am nowhere near my goal. But I really expected comparing these pictures to make me feel better. I have dropped 21 lbs total and can fit into a lot of my old 'skinny' clothes, I am already an XS in Urban Outfitters (what the hell am I going to do when I am actually skinny??) So I have been feeling quite good about myself.

But I look at these photos side by side, same location, same underwear SAME FUCKING SHAPE. I can't see any difference in the way I look at all. Maybe a tiny bit smaller waist, but the hips are the same, still my legs touch all the way down and still my tummy sticks out.

Sigh. I am getting a tape measure today so I can track that way as well. I am not taking another photo until I have lost another 10lbs at least.

Has this happened to anyone else??

I would post the photos here for you guys to see, but I am too worried that someone I know IRL would see it (and of course I am ashamed about how big I am)

[Help] 68 hours into my fast! Having trouble drinking enough water though?
Created: Tue Jul 12 03:10:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sg3fp/68_hours_into_my_fast_having_trouble_drinking/
Every time I drink water, I get even more nauseous. I have headaches as well. I aim to drink 2,800 ml of water a day. Is this too much since I'm fasting or is it a good thing?

Am I feeling shitty because of my electrolytes? Should I drink some broth? I don't really feel like eating so I want to go for as long as I can or until someone forces me to eat. I am going back to college this thursday though so I want to stay focused. What can I drink that will help with that but will keep me from breaking my fast?

Sorry if I sound a bit weird or out of it, I'm trying really hard to make sense haha

[Intro] hi hi hi.
/u/kuffe [185cm | CW: 69.9g | BMI: 20.3 | -26kg | F]
Created: Tue Jul 12 02:18:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sfyaf/hi_hi_hi/
idk what to really put on introductions, but i'ma try at least. i hope this intro isn't too lame. ):

hi, i'm kuffe, i have been lurking for a while on my main account. i would have introduced myself on there, but too many people know that account, even my family is aware of it and i think i made this account so i could just have support without judgement.

i'm 21 and i have had an eating disorder on and off since i was 13. it's like i sometimes think i'm fine, then i have moments where i'm not and get pulled back into it. my parents were always anti-therapy so i never got help for it and i'm too scared to get into that alone now, plus i don't think i'm ready just yet.

i'm currently at my lowest weight. and i really wish that i could stop, but i'm addicted to the number on the scale so i just can't. i'm also addicted to other things i shouldn't be. it's been like this since i was barely a teenager.

that aside, i'm just your average face. i like gaming (pc), going on spotify adventures, fashion, going on long as hell walks, talking a lot, also sleep is pretty cool and also following cats in the hopes of petting them.

so ye i hope i can find some support here, because you guys and girls seem amazing at that.

[Help] Advice on how to prep for a photoshoot sunday
Created: Mon Jul 11 23:19:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sfdzy/advice_on_how_to_prep_for_a_photoshoot_sunday/
My wrestling league is doing a photoshoot in our costumes on Sunday and I'm scrambling trying to figure out the best way to look my best for it. Doesn't help that my newest character wears tights and a crop top. Also, I'm not one for getting my photo taken since I was overweight for my teens/early 20s and hid from a lens like the plague.

I don't have fat that hangs over my tights, but I'm still self conscious about my stomach. Hoping there's more group shots than solo since I'll look tiny in comparison (I'm one of the smallest in height and build). Considering trying what wrestlers/mma fighters do to cut before a weigh in. That means restrictive keto, overload on water early in the week to none day of and hitting up a sauna the few days before the shoot. Downside to that plan is there's a surprise party I'm going to the night before and we're taking a kickboxing class a couple of hours before the shoot. Don't want to faint in front of the team.

Does anyone have advice on ways to prep so I don't look like a spandex-clad whale posing in a ring? Also, posing advice would be greatly appreciated since there's probably more photographic evidence of big foot than me.

[Help] I did my first full day fast today - but sipping on 50 calorie hot chocolate mix now. Am I still fasting?
Created: Mon Jul 11 23:08:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sfcin/i_did_my_first_full_day_fast_today_but_sipping_on/
Some people are strict, and I've asked before if eating 15 calorie popsicles during the day still counted but I guess thats just extremely low calorie - which is understandable.

Just curious if I am wasting the "benefits of fasting" from this drink (that seriously is awesome by the way for 50 effing calories).

[Rant/Rave] No one ever wants to take my picture
/u/Randomusername2233 [5'6" |148 | 22.6 | 21.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 22:30:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sf7oh/no_one_ever_wants_to_take_my_picture/
I've only just understood this, and maybe it's ridiculous but it's something that's always bothered me. No one ever asks to take my picture. Family gathering, friends partying, even with my kid and boyfriend. They always ask if I'll take photos of them. No one ever asks to take my picture. All of my photos of my kids' birthdays, with my bf, whom I love dearly, always them but I'm only there if I take selfies. What's wrong with me? Am I ugly? Forgettable? Fat? Shameful? I hate myself.

Edit: wording. Also, Who Fucking cares.
Edit #2: First, holy drunken rant Batman. Sorry 'bout that :/ Second, I fucking love you all so much, thank you thank you thank you! Seeing these comments this morning made my whole day <3 This is the best sub EVER.

[Discussion] Do you ever feel like you aren't sick "enough"?
Created: Mon Jul 11 22:08:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sf4rd/do_you_ever_feel_like_you_arent_sick_enough/

[Discussion] What does "safe food" mean for you?
Created: Mon Jul 11 21:40:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sf12j/what_does_safe_food_mean_for_you/
For some of us it's foods that don't make you want to purge. For others it's food you don't meticulously count or food that you can safely binge. I'd love to hear your take on it, and maybe some of your favorite safe foods? The "rules" thread from the other day was awesome! Anything you have to say along those lines is welcome too.

Thanks lovelies <3

[Intro] So, hi.
/u/swarleyandme [5'11" | 200.6 | 27.08 | -89.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 21:35:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sf0cd/so_hi/
I'm not entirely sure where to begin and have never been particularly great at introductions, so I guess I'll just cut right to it.

I've struggled with mental illness my whole life and, for the first few decades at least, was a huge emotional eater. When I was 19-20 I weighed just upwards of 300lbs. For a time, my other mental illnesses quieted down and I was able to focus on my weight. Over the course of a year and a half, I managed to drop down to about 180lbs. That was about a year ago. Unfortunately my issues reared back up and between the trips to the hospital, various combinations of antidepressants, and general lack to do... anything, I'm where I'm at today, ~206lbs.

I hate it. I hate myself. Sure, I still wasn't perfectly happy at 180, but at least I had that accomplishment. By slipping so far, it's like it never happened or I did that work for nothing. I'm terrified of gaining any more weight and disgusted by what I have gained back already. I'm scared of posting here after looking at everyone's flairs and seeing that I'm so overweight.

Turned a bit ranty there at the end, sorry. Anyway, yeah, hello.

[Discussion] Do any of you have friends with EDs? Does it make things easier?
/u/couldbefatter [5'2" | 105]
Created: Mon Jul 11 21:17:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sexy0/do_any_of_you_have_friends_with_eds_does_it_make/
Sometimes I wish I had a friend with an ED so that I'd have someone who understands me, and so that we could go out and not have it revolve around food.

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Meh.
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:42:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sestz/rant_meh/

[Discussion] Annoying shit a dietician/nutritionist has said to you?
/u/kpatable [5'9" | 125.1 | 18.1/18.5 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:27:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seqdp/annoying_shit_a_dieticiannutritionist_has_said_to/
Ok so I know I said I was leaving this sub, but I just wanted to post this and vent a bit (and hear your all's stories).

**TL;DR**: A dietician I saw was fat and said "people actually don't like you better when you're thin." HA. I wish that were true. What is some of the stupid shit dieticians have said to you?


Basically, when I was in the hospital, they had me see a dietician. First of all, **SHE WAS OVERWEIGHT**. WTF? Like, I know she can still know stuff about nutrition... But, if she's overweight, she's eating like shit probably. She needs to fucking practice what she preaches. Idk. Maybe I'm disordered and fucked up for thinking all of this and the following. You tell me.

Anyway, we got to talking, and she stressed that I'm underweight. My standard BMI is 18.4. That's BARELY underweight. I feel like concern should start happening below 18, but whatever. I told her I had started to get better and eat around 1400 calories a day. This way I could counteract a day of overeating one night or whatever. She didn't understand this. She just kept pushing 1600 calories a day on me. Like, even before my relapse I was gaining slowly. Because eating at maintenance every day and then overeating occasionally WILL CAUSE WEIGHT GAIN, OBVSIES. I feel like, objectively, 1400 calories is a really good amount. I do almost no exercise, so my TDEE is at right about 1650. That deficit will allow me to overeat occasionally. I ended up just telling her I would eat 1600 to get them to stop worrying. I know that's shitty, but I'm not going above 1400. No way in hell.

I think the most annoying thing she said to me was "I used to be thin. But then I gave that up eventually. I realized people don't like you better when you're thin, so it doesn't matter." **I** make my body how **I** want it to look **for me**. Also, PEOPLE **DO** LIKE YOU BETTER WHEN YOU'RE THIN. It's been shown in several studies (and just life, lol) that people treat people who fit beauty standards better. It's objectively true. Idk. Vent over.

[Discussion] Burning calories by being cold at night?
/u/GrammarNaughtsy [5'3" | 107 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:25:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seq24/burning_calories_by_being_cold_at_night/
Realistically, does this even put a dent in calorie use? I know it's ridiculous and lazy (I should consider exercise first, etc), but I wanted to ask this question because I want to be an efficient fat burning motherfucker.

[Goal] Finally size 2 and more prominent collarbones
/u/minamasood [5'6.5"| 111lbs| 22F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:22:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sepqh/finally_size_2_and_more_prominent_collarbones/
I'm kind of embarrassed to post this bc I look pretty big in this picture and most of you guys are probably a 00/0 but it's progress for me. You have to be a size 2 before you're a 0, so it's one step closer, right?

[Here is me looking chunky af but wearing a pair of size 2 shorts](http://imgur.com/8hwHLqY)

[Here is a selfie of me with my collarbones looking sharper than usual](http://imgur.com/90TZi46)

I'm happy to have met these goals but also ashamed that I let myself get so big that this is an accomplishment. There's some people that would be devastated if they woke up and were a US size 2 so it feels kind of pathetic that I'm happy about it? Ugh. Hopefully I can use this as a before picture in a few weeks or months!

[Help] EC Stacks + Trintellix?
/u/lithelife [5'4''| CM: 35-27-39| GM: 33-23-36 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:18:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seoya/ec_stacks_trintellix/
Has anyone ever taken ephedrine while on Trintellix? It's a fairly recently-created, atypical antidepressant, and there haven't been very many studies on it, let alone its interactions. Thanks! x

[Rant/Rave] PSA and Rant about the Keto subs
/u/_-TAWat-_ [5'3" | 31F | UGW 110.2#]
Created: Mon Jul 11 20:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4semk2/psa_and_rant_about_the_keto_subs/
Beware: there's a B---H in the keto subs that stalks history and constantly calls people out for posting on /r/proED to discredit anything you say over there.

She hasn't done it to me, personally, but her calling someone out is how I actually found this awesome sub!

TBH, us ED'ers make the BEST candidates for tips on sticking to keto - we're so used to meticulously tracking!

[Goal] I don't completely hate my legs anymore!
/u/silverturtle [5'2" | 114 | 21.6 | -16 | F/23]
Created: Mon Jul 11 19:39:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seiut/i_dont_completely_hate_my_legs_anymore/

[Help] Do laxatives work well?
/u/HowToBeAsian25 [5'3.5 |115lbs |19.78 |-19 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 18:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sebqk/do_laxatives_work_well/
Also what kind should I get? I think I'm going to go to the store, pull the trigger on EC stacks and also pick up some laxatives. I'm fucking done playing games with my bag of chips eating self rn.

edit: After glitter_cunt shared the perils of laxatives with me, I've decided to go the EC stack route. Will post a new status in the morning about how that goes

[Rant/Rave] So a 'western'-type grocery shop opened in our city...
/u/sadworldmap [5'1" | CW: 110lbs | BMI: 20.8 | GW: 98lbs]
Created: Mon Jul 11 18:51:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sebd6/so_a_westerntype_grocery_shop_opened_in_our_city/
Our city is small, ruralish and a bit backwards but I love it for its farmers markets, small mom-and-pop shops and quaint bodies of water (sea, rivers, ponds) but just a week ago a western-type grocery shop 'Seiyu' - similar to Walmart / Costco - opened a few blocks from where I work.

Because it's a new place, my good friend / co-worker wanted to see how the grocery looks like. She has a special membership card, too. I've googled the goods so I can be guarded and wary about buying the 'bad' stuff.

So we go in and THE PLACE IS HUGE. Literally a WAREHOUSE. It's the size of a nearby mall. But here it's all GROCERIES and FOOD and HOME/KITCHEN STUFF. A mall full of food. My friend was excited but I was sweating a bit when we went in to the food aisles. Huge chips, crisps, crackers, more chips, huge displays of chocolate boxes... I was floored and overwhelmed with too much FOOD. And in wholesale packaging too! Literally huge ketchups, big versions of the chips I used to buy in smaller packets, wholesale boxes of canned food. And all these chocolate, oh this will be one is my downfall.

Then I realized these goods were all WESTERN brands: from the UK, US, and some parts of EUROPE (cheeses). Immediately I think of how difficult it must all be for you. ALL THESE FOOD CHOICES. BAD ONES AT THAT. I'm a bit sure that these kinds of grocery warehouses are normal places for the US, but here not so much, but theres just so much in one place. I... I don't quite know how you all do it guys. I was so curious of how those European pretzel tastes, the bags of muffins, the types of US/Australian chocolates. I had to restrain, restrain, restrain. I wanted everything. In the end I grabbed a pack of expensive strawberries ('Driscols' - we don't have that here!)

TL;DR New grocery warehouse opened filled with nothing but the worst kind of food for me; thought how difficult it must all be for you.

[Help] Could anyone help me make my (hopefully) last weight loss goal?
Created: Mon Jul 11 18:50:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4seb92/could_anyone_help_me_make_my_hopefully_last/

[Help] Does anyone know who this is?
/u/ALonelySeaCucumber [5'6" | CW 152.8 GW 110 | 24.7 | -7.2 | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 18:13:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4se58t/does_anyone_know_who_this_is/

[Other] Basically my food intake for the next week.
/u/Missy_Is_Bitter [5'3"| Faaaaaaaaaaat | -23lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 17:51:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4se1rn/basically_my_food_intake_for_the_next_week/

[Rant/Rave] Can't wait to be thin and effortlessly look amazing in clothes.
/u/realbutterflybaby [5'1" | CW: 105±1 GW: 88±1 | -26 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jul 11 17:26:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdxvk/cant_wait_to_be_thin_and_effortlessly_look/
I don't have a boyfriend or even really want to be thin for my friends or for other people. I want to be thin so I can look at myself wearing clothes I thought look nice on the model/on the mannequin and think they still look amazing on me.

Whenever I see a picture of a thin girl making simple clothes look chic I save it in my thinspo folder. One day, that'll be me too.

P.s. if you have pics that you think would add to my thinspo, dm me...

[Rant/Rave] I finally met someone else with an ED (that I know of)
Created: Mon Jul 11 17:00:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdtiq/i_finally_met_someone_else_with_an_ed_that_i_know/
There we were, having our first night out as friends and she just starts talking about how she's struggled with an ED for years but now has a healthy relationship with food. No prompt, not super related to the conversation, she just kind of threw it out there. And I didn't say anything. I only felt bad, because she was actually trying to get better and I'm not. At the same time her bringing it up made me conscious about my own ED, so I couldn't finish my stupid fucking appy. When I went home I was just sad that I felt like I couldn't say anything. As much as I wish I could talk to someone about how it feels, the last thing I wanted to do was trigger her.

We're hanging out again soon, and it seems to be a topic she easily brings up. I'm just afraid that after a few drinks I'll have an overshare moment where I let slip that I'm still restricting, and one of two things will happen; she'll either try to "help" me into recovery, or I'll be too much of a reminder of her ED and she won't want to be my friend anymore.

Just my fucking luck right? And I know that if you have an ED you tend to pick up on other people with ED's behavior, so I really hope she didn't notice anything.

[Help] Hit weight loss plateau :(
/u/scrambledmegs97 [5'6 | 101 | 16.3 | -20lb| f]
Created: Mon Jul 11 16:55:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdsr9/hit_weight_loss_plateau/
So, I haven't lost a single pound for about a week and a half and I"m starting to panic. I never eat more than 400 calories a day, and I have a full time job as a pastry chef that requires me to be standing/walking constantly. On top of that I usually go on a five mile walk everyday. I'm so exhausted, but I'm not losing any weight anymore. Could anyone help explain why? Is it water weight? I drink constantly to curb my appetite. I can't give up. Losing weight is what makes my day bearable.

[Goal] Finally starting to really notice progress!!
Created: Mon Jul 11 16:35:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdpdd/finally_starting_to_really_notice_progress/

Kind of nervous that someone that I know irl will see this, but whatever.

[Discussion] Restricting/Bingeing?
Created: Mon Jul 11 15:27:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sddu4/restrictingbingeing/
Sorry no flair I only have a phone. I restrict to 500-800 calories a day but if I don't know the calories in something I eat, I immediately just think "well, fuck it" and binge for the rest of the day! Does anyone else get like this/have any tips on how to control it?? It's like it's all or nothing for me.

[Rant/Rave] Now I know why I cut off most of my friendships
Created: Mon Jul 11 15:18:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdccr/now_i_know_why_i_cut_off_most_of_my_friendships/
Most of the time it involves food. I went to the zoo on Saturday; picknick. Got to a friend on Sunday; yay let's bake muffins. Work with a friend earlier today; aw yay we are making lasagna for dinner!! Look I even brought meatless meat so your vegan excuse doesn't work!!!

Fuck it's so hard. I wish I had ED friends living closer to me :(

[Help] My stomach is ridiculously bloated what could be causes of this?
Created: Mon Jul 11 15:07:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4sdaep/my_stomach_is_ridiculously_bloated_what_could_be/
That's it, restricting or not, my stomach sometimes gets insanely bloated and other days it's fairly normal looking. I wouldn't really have a problem with it (I know it's not fat) if it weren't for the fact that from the side my stomach can be twice as brought as my upper tighs. So yeah, I'm looking for ways to fix this. I know always sucking my stomach in helps, but it only does so much and when I