[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 4 10:03:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dbpv8/daily_food_diary_april_04_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for April 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Intro] I'm in control.
/u/smooshie_sandwitch [5'1" | 128 | 24.2 | -32 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 09:44:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dbmow/im_in_control/
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This is my intro, I suppose. I've never posted here before and I didn't think I would ever post here. I'm relapsing after years and years of "normalcy". It finally dawned on me yesterday that I've fallen back under the spell of anorexia because of WHY I was fasting. I make excuses like, "intermittent fasting is good for you", "I'm giving my digestive system a break", "I need to 'detox'". But all of that is a bunch of bullshit. I'm doing it because it's impossible for me to resist the high I get from proving to myself how much discipline I have. I'm so good a saying "I don't want food today" and just not eating. I don't know how I got so good at it, other than falling in love with feeling like I'm super powerful and in control. My life is crazy right now. Typical work, relationship, financial problems. With all the bullshit, I feel like I can't see anything clearly right now. But starvation is like the one thing I have on lock. I'm good at this one thing. I'm in charge of this one thing. I'm taking comfort in this one thing.

EDIT: Because I'm new and wasn't sure what to expect, I just want to let you know that I appreciate your comments and upvotes more than you know. I feel like I've been welcomed home. So thank you.

[Rant/Rave] It's a good day.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 09:23:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dbj4s/its_a_good_day/
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Down half a pound, despite binging on Saturday (2025 cals) and eating crap food on Sunday (pizza, wings, beer). I think what helped is that most of Sunday I hadn't eaten anything as I was too busy grocery shopping, taking care of baby, etc.

We had some friends come over for Wrestlemania and they brought the pizza, wings, and beer. I had a half slice of pizza, about 8 wings, and 1 beer, but because I had unconsciously fasted all day, my total cal intake was only 1270.

Later that night (tmi) the crap food did NOT sit well with me so it uh, made quick exit out of my body. I went back to bed feeling empty, light, better. When I woke up, BAM! half a pound down, only 5.5 more to go.

Even though its a crappy and cold Monday, I feel good, renewed, and re-motivated. I managed to buy a lot of safe foods yesterday as well as measuring utensils to keep in my office.

I even liked the way my body looked this morning, and I'm hella sore from my morning exercise, I even beat the Wii u fit trainer during the push up challenge. :)

Its funny how a positive mindset translates to positive feelings regarding my body. Yet when I feel guilty and binge-y I see my body as a fat sack of shit.

Ahh, if only I could sustain this positive mojo for the rest of the week/month/year!

[Discussion] Cassie in Skins!
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Apr 4 08:38:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dbc0z/cassie_in_skins/
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I've seen her pop up so much when looking for thinspo and I avoided the show when it was first on TV.

I saw it on Netflix so I gave it a go and JESUS it's just eerily relatable. Her binge drawer is just like mine, her attitudes and behaviour. It's just so well done.

[Rant/Rave] Broke the forever-lasting plateau...and all I needed was just a day of b/p free. Never worth it.
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Mon Apr 4 08:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4db9xl/broke_the_foreverlasting_plateauand_all_i_needed/
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I'm afraid to update my flair because I want to wait until I have a good week of consistency, but I am a smudge under 95 now. I had a month or so of lazy binging/purging. Then last week, I had two days of b/p free and the number finally budged from the 96s-97s. All I needed was one day to reset myself, and it helped me have another good day later that week.


It's still early morning, but I am already thinking about b/p. I can't, but the voices are so strong. But I can't. I have to lose weight.


I don't know. I thought about the post I made some months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/401q0o/just_a_thank_you_for_the_accountabilitysupport/


I want to scoff at my old self, thinking 95 would be some sort of accomplishment. Amateur, I can do better than that. I don't know what she was thinking, thinking this was in any way good enough. There is so much work to do. This is such a pathetic life, but I just know it needs to be done.


So 90 is next. Then 85, and then maybe a little under 85, and then I will wake the hell up, go into treatment, and be a productive citizen.

[Discussion] What do you consider breaking a fast, and what do you allow yourself to consume during a fast?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 08:05:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4db774/what_do_you_consider_breaking_a_fast_and_what_do/
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I was dumb and got mad cravings. I made like this cookie dough for one thing, and it got all soupy. Pretty sure I broke my fast with that even if it was a liquid :/ I wasn't even 12 hours in yet! Sigh ;_; I just restarted it anyway.

I was reading up on fasting and how to break it, and apparently spikes in blood sugar can break a fast? So does that mean I can't have milk? And blending fruits and veggies (smoothies) break them too I guess?

I'm also contemplating if I can just eat jello for the next few days, since I just bought a couple of packs. No diet soda at home unfortunately.

[Goal] Finally the scale is moving!
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 07:59:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4db6dj/finally_the_scale_is_moving/
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I'm now 95 lbs. Nice, round number. I stalled at about 97 for the longest time, partly because I binged and purged so much and partly because I'm at the day treatment/partial hospitalization/whatever it should be called and I have been eating a bit more there because of the pressure from the treatment team.

My doctor said that I should spend another month at the day treatment. I tried to say no, but finally agreed. Now I'm not sure what I should do - should I try to maintain for a month to get them off my back and continue losing after I get out of there? But I'm not sure if I'm able to, losing feels so good and I'm kind of obsessed getting under 95... (I know I should even consider recovery as I'm getting so much help, but it seems impossible right now)

[Intro] Intro and General Ramblings
/u/RomanReyGod [Height 5'4"| CW 148.8| BMI (New) 26.04 :( | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 07:10:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dazqo/intro_and_general_ramblings/
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Alright, so usually I'm not too social, but for some reason, I'm feeling very talkative today. I'm going to do my whole story here, so just a warning: it may get long.

I was overweight almost all of my life. As a kid, I never paid attention to my weight, despite my low self-esteem. I grew up, and I grew round, too. By 2014, I was 220lbs, which is a lot for a 5'4" female.

So, I found this thing called intermittent fasting. I liked the idea, so I tried it. (I've been doing it ever since, I love it <3) Anyway, as I began to lose more and more weight, I became obsessed with the numbers. People began to compliment me, people were more friendly, approached me more. I loved every bit of it.

This past September, things got really out of control. My uncle died unexpectedly from a heroin overdose. I was full of remorse and guilt, so my heavy restricting began. The longer I did it, the worse it got.

So, now I'm here, still fat (at 151lbs, currently...) and I want to lose more. I am set on staying on this path because I love eating so few calories. Plus, it's easier now, because I was put on 300mg of Wellbutrin to help my depression. I haven't felt physical hunger in days.

So, I guess this is just meant to give you guys a little background. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm going to post this yet, because I'm scared that I sound fake, or like I'm posing. I feel like I can't have an eating disorder unless I'm actually skinny, which I'm not even close to yet. I hope that it doesn't come of like that. Maybe, I'm just paranoid because I don't even consider myself as having an eating disorder. I don't know. I hope you guys accept me, because I'm tired of lurking in the shadows of such a friendly community. <3

Thank you for reading so much!

[Thinspo] (Mostly thigh centered) Thinspo Album
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 06:16:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dat09/mostly_thigh_centered_thinspo_album/
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http://imgur.com/a/RJwuC

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! April 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 4 06:03:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dardt/weekly_stats_update_april_04_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for April 04, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] "Fat vampires are the evil ones" weird conversation with a friend has really helped keep me on track
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 05:55:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4daqdg/fat_vampires_are_the_evil_ones_weird_conversation/
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I finally forced my friends to watch Let The Right One In, during a Netflix binge last week. Of course someone had to go and point out that the vampire is really, really thin and was THAT by any chance why I liked this movie so much? (It is, but, shhh~)


I managed to counter by saying that clearly Eli is so thin because he has to kill people in order to eat, which is horrible, so he doesn't do it any more often than he has to. They agreed! And said yeah, if eating meant hurting people a good vampire would HAVE to be emaciated, only the sadistic evil ones would kill enough to eat to excess. She wondered why they haven't used that idea in a film yet, an obese serial killer vamp, it'd be pretty fun, right?


I've been thinking about that all weekend though, Twilight dodges the issue with it's "vegan vamps" but most vampire films equate morality and eating, Eli just happens to be (arguably) the least subtle about it. It's been helping me to resist overeating or binging, the idea that not eating is a noble, self sacrificing choice instead of, uh, a weird, mentally ill choice...?

I guess most ED sufferers use food morality in some way, nothing new. But the vampire thing is kind of fun to me and it keeps me going so hey, thought I'd share.


[Rant/Rave] My boobs' RW I first decided to lose weight. Went down several band sizes (yay!) but also two cup sizes :(
/u/fiddlyduck [5'0 | 95 | 19.54 | -30.5 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 04:59:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dakps/my_boobs_rw_i_first_decided_to_lose_weight_went/
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http://i.imgur.com/LHCj0gR.gifv

[Help] How accurate is your daily estimated tdee from mfp actually?
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Mon Apr 4 04:54:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dak7l/how_accurate_is_your_daily_estimated_tdee_from/
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Just wondering

[Goal] Little victory
/u/LadyGreyish [5'7 | 121lbs | 19.5 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 02:28:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4da7o4/little_victory/
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Hi all!

Despite the fact that I have been at a lower weight before, I still find this a victory: I can see my hipbones when I'm standing up! I've never been able to do that before :3. Usually my lowest weights are from crashing insanely hard, so that doesnt really show in your body. But it feels like this weight I have now is actually from just losing weight and not crashing. Yay ^^!

[Rant/Rave] It appears that emotional trauma is the ultimate diet
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 02:21:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4da74n/it_appears_that_emotional_trauma_is_the_ultimate/
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Mobile - no flare :(

I ate 3 raspberries and had a latte with whole milk and regular vanilla syrup (i usually order almond milk and sugarfree) today... and half a glass of orange juice.

Yesterday was 2 cold brews, a half a sandwich, and a slice of cake (which i threw up from having a panic attack and car sickness at the same time)

Yesterday i was 121.2lbs... today i tried running to help myself get tired enough to sleep (didnt work) and 3 panic attacks later i've weighed in below 120 for the first time in a decade. 119.8lbs.

I guess my scale wasn't lying. I tried it on 4 different tile surfaces. 119.8 every time. I'm clothed kinda... i mean honestly i thought I'd look skinnier... my legs are still icky. Guess i gotta run more. Still no resolution on the big fight with the SO... and fml.

I have a horrible work week ahead of me and the SO's bday (possibly ex SO if he decides that...) so.. hopefully i dont pass out at any point... or maybe hopefully i do so i can just lay in bed on an IV for a few days. I don't know. I dont want to exist right now. I'm going through the motions.



[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Binged after getting rejected from dream university
/u/pineapplesandham [5'3 | 96.5 lbs | 17.6 | -10 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 01:47:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4da45j/rant_binged_after_getting_rejected_from_dream/
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I was doing really well calorically, until I opened the page and it said that I'd been waitlisted (i.e. rejected). After I went and bawled my eyes out for a couple hours, I went downstairs to let off some steam (through gaming) and ended up binging on like 1000 calories of food. It wasn't bad food or anything, just lots of it: chicken avocado wraps, oatmeal, etc. Then, during the day, I ate another 1400 calories, including an entire loaf of whole wheat bread (it was a really small loaf though). I was going to fast today, but I ended up eating my normal amount (1200 calories).


Shitshitshit. I'm going to gain.

[Help] How to hide hair loss?
/u/AtsuPink
Created: Mon Apr 4 00:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9xnm/how_to_hide_hair_loss/
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Please help its starting to be really noticeable and i can't get sent away if they find out. Please i need to hide it/

[Goal] I just moved out!
/u/chuuta [5'4 | 114.2 | 19.85 | -14.9 | female]
Created: Sun Apr 3 23:59:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9txw/i_just_moved_out/
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First of all, I'm sorry for not flairing this post, but I'm on mobile.

I just really needed someone to share this with because I'm *so excited*. No more justifying what I'm eating or not eating. No more judgments. I feel so liberated, I can't even put it into words. Finally I really *am* in control of my life and my body. Tbh right now it feels like I'll never binge again.

[Rant/Rave] Fuuuuuuuuck
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 3 23:00:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9np5/fuuuuuuuuck/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I'm overweight!!!
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 22:44:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9m03/im_overweight/
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I was obese now I'm overweight. I've come a long way but I still have a very long way to go. Sorry I'm just so excited I had to share. This is the lowest I've ever been as an adult! An bonus I didn't binge when I saw my new weight like I'm prone to doing!!! Wooo!

[Goal] Finishing a day of fasting..
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Sun Apr 3 21:56:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9g9w/finishing_a_day_of_fasting/
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..and I feel so good. I've done a few day fasts and stopped for intermittent fasting since full 36 hour fasts caused binges.

I made my bottom weight last week at 143, then bloomed back up to 150 on discount easter candy. I decided to get back on the wagon and my goal is to end April at 139 lbs or less. To reach my goal I have decided to fast for my husbands work week. I need to stop binging on my days off. I binge for 2 days, then over eat for 2 days, then maintain well for 3 days...then I'm back on the eat cycle.

No more.

Earlier this year I did weekly fasts to reset my eating and hunger signals and it worked. Now that I'm at a lower weight and no binges are over 2000 cal I think I can make a longer fast and I'm ready to try. Day 1 was easy, with a few cups of black iced coffee. Tomorrow will be my very first day 2 intentional fast. I know it will suck. Day 3 will be the worst. Then...I don't know.

I just want to drop this water weight, and whatever else falls with it.

It's April 3rd and I've committed 2 binges.l this month. I hope they are the last 2 of the month.

I'm not looking for anything, I just want to talk about my fast as it happens. I might post in r/fasting if it goes long enogh. It's about control right now. I don't have much of a weight loss goal in terms of fat - I know it's all water from a serving of hard pretzle I hate (salt on simple carbs, who would guess). I want to be able to say no to food after 2 days of binging on white chocolate and chips.

I am in control. Are you?

[Discussion] Favorite Things to Do to Avoid a Binge?
/u/whelpidek [5-5| GW: 110 | fat asf | 20.4| f]
Created: Sun Apr 3 20:11:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d935y/favorite_things_to_do_to_avoid_a_binge/
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So with Spring Break ending, I'm going to be going back to school tomorrow (*internal screaming*). This means the dreaded school lunches from the school and the snacks that my parents fill in my pantry. I've gotten pretty good with lunches, I'll get a chicken sandwich and fries and act like I'm picking at it, but throw it away as soon as someone else goes to toss out their food. But when it comes to the snacks, I'm *awful* at staying away from binges. My mom and sister are pretty overweight, and it's pretty gross to see what they fill my pantry up with. Spoiler: Cookies galore. Chocolate, tea time, Oreo, Girl Scout, you name it we will probably have it by Friday.

So I've been filling up my notebook with little tips I like to do to keep my mind occupied. My favorites so far are:

* Clear Nail Polish w/glitter - So I am in a group where I can't have bright colored nail polish on during meetings, which are pretty frequent. So instead, I'll take this clear polish with gold glitter and paint a spot on my arm, hand, or foot. It looks pretty but feels like leather-y ick skin, and I always spend time trying to pick it off. This is great because it takes time to wait for the polish to dry, admire, and take off. It also hurts a bit, which is pretty distracting too. It's great.

* Hair bands - I have a thin hair band that is solely for my wrist. If I get hungry I tie it in knots or snap it against my wrist. It's not as effective as the polish or writing, but it's pretty okay for in a pinch.

* Writing - My notebook, a little black moleskin one, is always with me, along with my favorite pen. When I get hungry or off in anyway, I just take it out and write about anything. Usually I'm not even hungry afterwards unless I'm doing a long fast. It's distracting and nobody gets suspicious of it because I'm only writing 'For School.'

But what about you guys? Do you have anything better that you love?

[Tip] Any ents awake?
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | too fat | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 20:10:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d932u/any_ents_awake/
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Spotify/YouTube: Glitch Mob - Drink the Sea

If anyone needs a distraction... Get super stoned and listen to the album and don't eat! It's working for me 😵

[Rant/Rave] Fallen off :/
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 19:52:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d90qo/fallen_off/
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I've fallen off. Was doing so well february, then I spiraled out of control (thanks dad for buying all that chocolate...). I did bad this week, and jesus time goes by. I wasted all of march eating shit. I could've been at my GW by now. Sigh.

I'm doing a 2 day fast. I've managed one and now it's two. the biggest factor is my mom is always asking if I've eaten. she watches me if I eat sometimes, and I have to lie to her about eating dinner. I can't leave food out, because it's my responsibility to clean up after myself. sooooo I guess I have to chuck food out :P

Was supposed to be 90 by next friday. welp. I've probably gone from 100 to 104. I can't even tell where I am right now. I took a laxative to help me start fresh. good luck to me on my fast. sorry for spelling mistakes. i'm in a rush ;w;

[Goal] It's been 9 days since I drank, I broke my cycle!
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 19:43:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8zkl/its_been_9_days_since_i_drank_i_broke_my_cycle/
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I posted last week telling you guys that I wasn't going to drink on my weekend, because for the two weeks before now I had gotten down to my lowest weights on Saturday before gaining 5kg in 48 hours.

I spent most of the weekend thinking about drinking, and feeling I was wasting my only time to drink every week by being sober. But I removed myself from temptation and drove 400km from any available alcohol, and now it's the longest I've gone without drinking in the last year at least!

This week you guys helped me make it through, I only gained 600g over the weekend, giving me a starting point of 4.2kg less than last Monday!

[Rant/Rave] I just bought a bikini! And another mini-rave.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 19:14:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8vv5/i_just_bought_a_bikini_and_another_minirave/
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I've been self conscious of my body ever since puberty. From when the boob fairy visited me at 11 to age 16, they represented everything I loathed about being a woman: I couldn't run like I used to, they jiggled all around, I got teased, bras were uncomfortable, the list goes on. As a result, I wore nothing but sports bras and baggy clothes to try and hide them.

Recently, however, I have been becoming more confident in my own skin. I'm not sure whether this is because of my weight loss or if it's because other girls my age have breasts too so I don't feel so alone. Either way, now I wear regular bras and tight fitting tops, and sometimes I feel pretty good!

The school band is going on a trip to Disneyland this weekend. I figured I might as well have a cute swimsuit to wear to the pool, and so I got one! I'm really proud of myself, I never thought I would be able to embrace my body, but here I am!

Sidenote: I also got an A on a math test I was super stressed about, so that's going well too.

[Goal] Small victory: I threw away the ice cream before I opened it
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Sun Apr 3 18:24:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8pa7/small_victory_i_threw_away_the_ice_cream_before_i/
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Feeling very Forever Alone this weekend and got beer drunk, ate ramen and crab Rangoon. Then I went to Walgreens and bought a pint of haagen dazs to binge in bed, but as I approached home, I tossed it in the trash. I know I'm already way over calories but I'm proud of myself for not saying fuck it and piling it on until felt sick. I need to stop punishing myself with food.

[Discussion] What are your weird habits?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 17:18:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8gf7/what_are_your_weird_habits/
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I saw a few posts that had me thinking. What are everyone here's weird habits?

Like I will break up my food into bite sized portions and count the number of bites, but only at the end of my meals. And before eating I take a shot of apple cider vinegar with a huge cup of water to try to prevent eating excessive quantities.

What about you guys?

[Rant/Rave] How time flies...
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 17:15:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8g05/how_time_flies/
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Today marks exactly one month from when I hit my lowest weight. I can't believe it has been 4 weeks of constant binging, resulting in all this weight gain. I only wanted to stop purging but of course that backfired and it just became a cycle of only binging.

Back then only my mom commented on my weight loss, but no one had commented on my weight gain until this one guy from work asked me if I had gained weight. When I replied with a yes he said he was glad, because how I looked before (at my lowest weight) was too skinny. !!!!I can't comprehend this!!!

Maybe is my disordered mind but I didn't look "too skinny" but hearing him say this made me open my eyes and realize I have to go back to that weight and lower to finally reach my ugw.

At this point I don't care about health complications, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I realized I have no purpose in life, apart from wanting to be skinny since the 7th grade. It's been so long now and I'm still around the same weight. I want to finally do something right in my life, why can't I accomplish something I've always wanted?

Anyways I'm just making this post because it's time I stop the bulshit and finally get what I've wanted for so long, the only thing I can control getting. It doesn't matter what happens after, or how long it lasts. I just want to taste it. Going down to the lowest I've gone felt like I was on a drug, a constant high. I cant imagine what it would feel to actually be underweight and reach my ugw. Just thinking about it makes me feel some sort of euphoria.

I guess this is me saying I'm back ㄱㄱ

[Help] Yall
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 17:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8e9w/yall/
---
I am fucked. I just purged until I pissed myself and still didn't get it all out. I feel so sad.

[Discussion] Carbs and water retention?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Sun Apr 3 15:48:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d83or/carbs_and_water_retention/
---
Can eating carbs increase the amount of water you retain?

[Rant/Rave] Dunno what to title this
/u/thininsp
Created: Sun Apr 3 14:40:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7tl7/dunno_what_to_title_this/
---
So I ate bad cottage cheese Tuesday and got what I thought was food poisoning from it (vomiting and diarrhea at the same time non stop) all that night and the next day.

Thursday I thought I was doing a bit better and ate some sweet potato but threw it up two hours later. Friday I was in and out of the bathroom. Saturday I was nauseated all day and had to go lay down around 3 but by dinner I felt OK and I actually ate dinner and had some dessert.

This morning I woke up and felt terrible and couldn't even drink the coffee my husband made for me. I went to my dad's and took him for lunch because his mom died yesterday and I just wanted to spend some time with him. I ate about half my lunch and started feeling clammy and sweaty. We barely made it back to the house and it was coming out both ends. I laid down and fell asleep for about an hour and then had to bring my youngest home so she could take a nap. I get her all set and make a mad dash to the bathroom.

A little while later in standing in my kitchen and this thought goes through my head "ugh I'm so nauseated... You know what would be good right now? Chocolate cake." What the fuck is wrong with me? My husband asked if he should buy a pregnancy test on his way home when I told him. FML.

Mathematically it should be impossible for me to be pregnant because we had sex for the first time in a month on Sunday, so unless I'm way far along, I am just fucked in the head, not pregnant. I really don't want to be pregnant. Please please don't let me be pregnant.

On a positive note I'm at a new low weight as of this morning since I have only eaten once that I haven't thrown up since Sunday (i was coming off of a fast when I got sick).

[Help] Trying to write a grocery list; my head is spinning.
/u/l-ostcaus-e [5ft 6| Fattest of the Fats | F | GW 1: - 15lbs | UGW: 99lbs]
Created: Sun Apr 3 14:34:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7slt/trying_to_write_a_grocery_list_my_head_is_spinning/
---
Fuck, why is this so hard?!

I've got absolutely nothing of substance in. I need to go shopping. I need lunches and dinners for maybe... 2 weeks if I can?

I'm not vegan but I've been going more vegetarian recently as I normally can't afford meat. I can't eat large quantities of diary and am trying to follow a low FODMAPs diet for my IBS. I am stuck.

So far I have on my list:

- Rice cakes (I have some cheese triangles already that I can spread on them)
- Bottled water
- Lettuce
- Peppers
- Carrots
- Eggs
- Sweet potatoes

Every single other thing I can think of ends with the ED voice in my head screaming no. I can't have that. That's too high cal. You'll binge on that. That's not healthy enough.

I am lost. Please help :( Ideally aiming for under 1200cal a day, if not under 1000.

ETA - I have pasta/rice/some grains in but tbh, they scare me. Especially the pasta.

[Discussion] Low cal snacks
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Apr 3 13:48:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7lv6/low_cal_snacks/
---
Please, share yours!

I'm getting a bit tired of my pickles lol. Rice cakes are nice but a bit too nice, I always eat the whole package once it's open. What are your go to snacks?

I now often make some ice cream of banana and strawberries, but 200 cal is like a full meal and doesn't feel totally worth it.

[Discussion] Favorite tracking apps?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 13:34:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7jot/favorite_tracking_apps/
---
I use MFP to track my calories and Plant Nanny to track my water intake! What are your favorite apps?

[Tip] Has anyone done Healthywage?
/u/Darling459
Created: Sun Apr 3 12:36:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7awl/has_anyone_done_healthywage/
---
I just signed up for one. Apparently you bet that you will lose a certain amount of weight in a certain amount of time, bet some money and if you lose the weight, you win more money. Has anyone else done it? I'm excited, it's another incentive to stay on track.

I got a referral code when I signed up so I figured I would share it with you guys in case anyone wanted to do it with me. If you use it you get $40 added to your winnings :)

http://www.healthywage.com/referral/healthywager/name-your-own-prize/18455739100057

[Help] Vitamins?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 3 11:28:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d70jk/vitamins/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Apr 3 10:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6nzv/daily_food_diary_april_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Bread really does make you fat!
/u/InItTLoseIt [5' 7" | 172.9 lbs | 26.99 | 47.9 lbs | Femme nb]
Created: Sun Apr 3 09:55:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6n18/bread_really_does_make_you_fat/
---
I'm on day 3 of Whole30, which focuses on eating whole, unprocessed foods. I can eat meat, fruits and veg, and nuts but eliminate dairy, grains, added sugars, and artificial sweeteners of any kind.

I've already broken my plateau from not eating pizza three times a week, and I feel fuller longer from the food I cook. Last night dinner was a sweet potato with ghee (202 cal). I wasn't even hungry when I woke up this morning. Lunch today is a scrambled egg and ground pork with ground chili powder (210). I can typically end my day around 500-600 total calories.

Without bread at every meal, I don't get triggered into bingeing anymore and I don't crave sugar like I used to. I'm dead tired all the time, but I've read that goes away by the second week.

Bread really does make you fat! At least that's what happened to me.

[Intro] hi! been lurking for an eternity
/u/bubblegumball [5'3 | 119.3 | 21.13 | -3.1 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 09:13:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6hel/hi_been_lurking_for_an_eternity/
---
hi, i'm bubble and i made this alternate account so i can actually post here. i recovered about a year ago and have been on a binge/restrict alteration for like 3 months... it's terrible. i'm trying to improve. anyway, hi!

[Rant/Rave] This is the most fucking relatable thing on the entire internet. [Humor :p]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 08:57:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6f6p/this_is_the_most_fucking_relatable_thing_on_the/
---
http://41.media.tumblr.com/b8d38e89e24398131fb570b777e0ea64/tumblr_nv5giyYt4M1tp42tfo1_500.jpg

[Discussion] Going grain free - experiences (binging, weight, how you felt etc)?
/u/HiccupKitten [5'4" I 110.8 I 19.0 I -5 lbs I F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 08:16:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6a9e/going_grain_free_experiences_binging_weight_how/
---
Has anyone here ever gone grain free? What were your experiences?

I've noticed I only ever binge on grain products, and do quite well with going "cold turkey" with foods. I feel like the carbs I need I can get with just fruits, veg, beans.

Thoughts? Experiences?

[Help] Binge eating for 6 weeks and dealing with life being this fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 3 08:07:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d69b3/binge_eating_for_6_weeks_and_dealing_with_life/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Applied with a modelling agency. Don't know whether to tell my fiancé.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 3 07:53:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d67ox/applied_with_a_modelling_agency_dont_know_whether/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I havent been this light in 10yrs
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 05:44:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d5vp6/i_havent_been_this_light_in_10yrs/
---
No flare, mobile sorry


If.. if my scale isn't lying... i weigh 121.2lbs now. I've been super depressed all week due to some fights with the SO. Might be over. So ive barely been eating/sleeping anyways. I havent been this small since i was severely anamia when i was 19/20. Ive been wearing baggy clothes for weeks, so i didnt really even notice... until today. I put on jeans that i am usually afraid to wear and they looked good. I looked in the mirror and actually could see that i was smaller. I'm going to assume that its not permanent. I have been feeling really sick from stress. I even threw up today without wanting too from crying in the back of my friends car while she was driving fast. Im depressed and sick and its making me lose more weight.. and i feel almost embarassed to say it made me a little happier.

Maybe when he sees me in a few days i will wear a crop top and he'll notice i have abs again... or maybe if i actually have the flu i will look so frail and tiny to him that he will get a little scared... i don't know which i would prefer right now. I'm not in a good mental state. Im probably giving myself an ulcer from stress and coffee. Fuck.

121.2 yay.

[Intro] Intro -- Hi! ^-^/
/u/Pumpkabooo [5'5" | 106.5 | 17.72 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 23:35:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d533n/intro_hi/
---
Hello! It took me a long time, but I've finally gotten the courage to make an account. I've been lurking for several months but have been too nervous to put myself out there. So now I figured I should at least post an intro before I chicken out again!

Just for a little background, I've struggled with body image issues my entire life. 100% ugly duckling. Never technically overweight, but DEFINITELY never thin. I've always gone up and down with my views about myself, and at this point I've pretty much decided that I'm fine with feeling "down" about myself forever. Because it seems like every time I start to feel comfortable with myself or my body, I start to gain weight. And then whenever I pick apart all my flaws and feel like shit about myself, the weight slowly goes back down.

I've never been diagnosed with anything ED-related but I have gone through all kinds of medical hoops because of depression and anxiety.

The turning points for me from just body issues to more disordered behaviors came in the last couple years. I had an opportunity to travel to Asia (most time spent in Japan) a few summers ago, and being around all those beautiful, thin women every day definitely got to me. I had gotten used to all the vanity sizing in the US, so I felt at least KIND OF normal-sized there. But with so much Asian clothing being one-size or limited size, I really started to notice how much I hated how I looked. That trip really started me making firmer goals for myself.

The other thing that impacted me was my wedding. Who doesn't want to be as tiny as possible in a wedding dress, right? I did a pretty decent job of restricting in the months before my wedding, and went from almost 130lbs to 108 -- my lowest adult weight.

After my wedding, I decided I wanted to enjoy food again and went more than a little crazy. Within 2 months I was back up to almost 120lbs.

So now I'm getting serious about this again. I'm close to the 110lb range again and my goal is to be 100lbs or less by June. I'm looking forward to being a part of this community. :) I love the support I see here, and I appreciate everything you all do to make this subreddit a safe place for us to be here for each other!

<3



[Rant/Rave] I really thought I would have felt a lot skinnier by now
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 129.0 | 20.13 | -41 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 21:27:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4pik/i_really_thought_i_would_have_felt_a_lot_skinnier/
---
I'm 132.8 lbs, 5'7". Two weeks ago I was 142. A few months ago I was 170.

I really thought 130s seemed so low since I haven't seen them since 2010 or 2011. (EDIT: I don't know why I thought this...high 130s was when I freaked out and started my first dance with ED back in the day...)

I can fit into dresses I haven't seen at all since then. Form fitting ones even. I was hoping to just be near 130s when I had my wedding dress shopping appointments today, which I am.

I was thinking, I have more perspective now. I know what I look like REALLY big. I can be happy with 125-130, I looked good back at that weight. Lower might be too low, and really, do you think you can even maintain lower? You can be satisfied here.

But my arms are still flabby and disgusting. My legs are still huge. My stomach is still not flat.

Everyone was complimenting my figure when we were shopping, but that's bullshit. It's just because everyone else is getting big, society's standards have gotten lax.

My original goal weight of 125-130 is definitely not going to be enough. 115 here I come.

I need to start fucking lifting weights and changing my body composition too.

But fuck.

[Help] How often do you guys update your flair?
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 20:24:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4i5y/how_often_do_you_guys_update_your_flair/
---
So I finally added my flair tonight. I'm not pleased with what it says, but it is what it is.

But how often do you guys change yours? I weigh (as I assume many of you do) several times a day. Do you update daily? Weekly? At a new low weight?

I usually 'count' my Friday weight because I try not to drink during the week and I feel like Friday is the best representation of myself. What do you guys do?

[Rant/Rave] I'm having the worst day ever.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 19:40:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4ck2/im_having_the_worst_day_ever/
---
Firstly, my horse bucked me off really badly. I'm sore and my neck is killing me. I have a competition next weekend and I'm just so embarrassed about today. I feel like I have no business riding in the first place.

Secondly, I met with a nutritionist at my gym. One of the first things she asked me was "is this the highest weight you've ever been?" I couldn't believe it. I weigh 121 pounds. I'm a size 2/4. I'm not the skinniest but I'm not overweight, and this is *one* of my *lowest* adult weights (lowest adult weight was 111, lowest weight ever was 92, usually I rest comfortably between 118 and 122 but I refuse to be that heavy).

She told me I need to lose 18 pounds of fat. I was already planning on getting back to 92 by the summer. But gah. Just hearing it from someone else makes it even worse. The worst part is I told her I "used" to be anorexic, and she still proudly told me to lose 18 pounds of fat. I guess I'm just a big **fat** hypocrite. I'm okay judging myself harshly but when someone else does it, I'm a big **fat** baby.

I guess I'm fatter than I thought I was. I feel so disgusting and ugly. I haven't been able to stop crying for the past hour and I have no one to talk to about this so here I am. I wish I could take a knife and chop off all my fat. I hate myself. I'm nothing and nobody.

[Rant/Rave] I only really trust my scale if the numbers are up...
/u/clurrance [5'6" | 114 | 18.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 19:29:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4b62/i_only_really_trust_my_scale_if_the_numbers_are_up/
---
Whenever they go down, I assume it's broken. No way a fatty like me is losing weight.
Ohhhh ED...

[Tip] My favorite, low calorie, sweet-tooth satisfying treat!
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 19:22:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4abq/my_favorite_low_calorie_sweettooth_satisfying/
---
I discovered this last week and just wanted to share! I'm not sure if you guys have an [Aldi's](https://storelocator.aldi.us/Presentation/AldiSued/en-us/Start) store near you, but I wanted to share in case you do!


I LOVE their Fit and Active line, and have been looking/trying out their products slowly I discovered [these Caramel Rice Snacks](https://www.aldi.us/en/grocery-home/aldi-brands/fit-active/snacks-sweets/snacks-sweets-detail/ps/p/fit-active-caramel-rice-snacks/) that I just had to share with you all! I'm not sure why, but online it says 7 rice snacks for 60 calories. On the actual package, 8 rice snacks for 60 calories is listed. Either way, they're super satisfying and super sweet! The crunchiness gives it a great twist and I believe the entire bag (about the size of a regular potato chip bag) is about 300 calories (so, even if I were to one day go overboard, I wouldn't feel nearly as guilty!)


Have you tried these? What did you think? I've also tried [these Chocolate Chip Cookie Crisps](https://www.aldi.us/en/grocery-home/aldi-brands/fit-active/snacks-sweets/snacks-sweets-detail/ps/p/fit-active-100-calorie-baked-chocolate-chip-wafer/) but prefer the Caramel Rice Snacks! They also have [Cheese Rice Snacks](https://www.aldi.us/en/grocery-home/aldi-brands/fit-active/snacks-sweets/snacks-sweets-detail/ps/p/fit-active-cheddar-cheese-rice-snacks/), if those are more enticing to you?


Has anyone tried [these, btw?](https://www.aldi.us/en/grocery-home/aldi-brands/fit-active/snacks-sweets/snacks-sweets-detail/ps/p/fit-active-smores-drizzled-mini-crisps/)


I'm starting to sound like an ad but I just love their line so much!

[Rant/Rave] Parents in is town triggering purging
/u/pepto_bitchmol [5'4 | 122.5 | 21.44 | -55 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 19:01:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d47jc/parents_in_is_town_triggering_purging/
---
*edit: title should say "Parents in town is triggering purging" ugh

I'm so disappointed with myself. I've been doing so well with keeping my calories low, and convincing myself that it's okay to go over sometimes. But this weekend my parents are in town. I have to get a LOT of food for them because they are weirdly food-possessive and like fight for the last morsel, and they get REALLY upset if there isn't "enough" food around. Like making/ordering a little and getting more isn't an option, they just need it all.

This morning my husband cooked a full breakfast (eggs, potatoes, grits, sausage) and I took my family to a local donut places to get a treat to go with breakfast. They wanted two each, so instead of the 1/2 dozen I planned I had to get a whole dozen. They ate that on top of the full breakfast. Then for dinner, between 5 people we finished off THREE LARGE PIZZAS. I asked if two would be okay and they were like "weeeeellllll" so I got three and they ate them all. It was fucking humiliating walking out of the restaurant.

I purged stuff from last night and my pizza from tonight. I suffered from bulimia almost exactly a decade ago, and I convinced myself to stop when I had to get a root canal from my teeth going to shit. I'm twenty six fucking years old and should know better, and I'm normally ok going over my calories occasionally, but just watching the way my grossly unhealthy family eats just triggers the shit out of me. They're so gross and over-consumptive in every facet of their lives, and I try so hard to live frugally, healthily, conscientiously, and within my means. I just had to get my part of that three pizza binge OUT of me.

They leave tomorrow. I feel sick for my little sister who is already having body image issues. I'm just going to use my Sunday to eat a bunch of green shit and work the fuck out and try to forget these awful feelings. Thanks for listening.

[Rant/Rave] I think I'm into a guy just because I'm not physically good enough for him.
/u/jealousweeping [5'3" | 158.2 | 28 | 7lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 18:48:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d45v6/i_think_im_into_a_guy_just_because_im_not/
---
He's super into working out and lifting and he's never dated an overweight girl before and he's kind of fatpeoplehate-y.

I'm a chubby lady. I'm working on it really hard now that I like him though, even though he's kind of an asshole in most other aspects and he's probably playing me.

It's honestly just such good motivation. Sometimes when I think I want to get better I use the excuse that my brain is broken and I shouldn't listen to the little bulimic bitch in my head, and I'll go on a binge. But with this guy it's like, he looks at people like you every day and kind of wants to vom, you actually are a sack of shit, go run and don't eat for three days. I dig it. Sorry if this is weird.

[Rant/Rave] I can't wait till my eyes get better.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 18:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d42pu/i_cant_wait_till_my_eyes_get_better/
---
I have to wear my glasses and I'm pretty damn blind so they make me and everything look smaller than it really is. I just want to put my contacts in so I'll be able to acknowledge the fat fuck i am! UGH

[Help] Anyone else fasting?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 18:13:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d41c0/anyone_else_fasting/
---
I've been eating pretty bad these past two days. So bad that, if you're friends with me on MFP (username is mp4vs49).. I actually deleted the logs. Today I told myself to take responsibility for what I did and try to log an estimation of what I consumed.



I started fasting today at 5:50 PM and aim to break my fast the day after tomorrow 4/04/16 during midday or the afternoon. I went to the gym today for about 2 hours and ran a 5k! Tomorrow, I plan to do the same. I actually love the feeling of eating on an empty stomach. Am I the only one? I feel so healthful and light and wonderful. Eating makes me feel rather lethargic :/


Anyways, if anyone would like to fast with me, let me know! You can PM me here or message me on MFP, whatever you prefer! :)


[Discussion] I love how I can now browse this subreddit without feeling the need to hide!
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 17:51:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d3yiw/i_love_how_i_can_now_browse_this_subreddit/
---
I absolutely love the new banner! Thank you so much for the change!


Before, I would have to turn my computer screen away from my family whenever I was using my laptop because the banner could (understandably) be very alarming. I'm so happy!

[Rant/Rave] My substitute teacher used to have and ED
/u/useh3rname [4'10| 85| 17.76| -20 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 17:01:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d3rng/my_substitute_teacher_used_to_have_and_ed/
---
There's a substitute filling in for my history teacher on maternity leave who I've gotten really close to over the past week. We hang everyday during lunch in his classroom. He seemed oblivious to the fact that I never ate anything, and he never really mentioned it.

However, yesterday, when I refused the granola bar he offered me, he started going on about how he used to eat only one meal a day, fasted every sunday, and he just went on about how much he struggled with his eating disorder.

When he was finished, I couldn't even speak because I was so paranoid. At that moment, I thought he was going to report me and I didn't know what to say. I just expressed how sorry I was about what he went through but our conversation died down a little.

At this point I don't know how to feel. I'm frustrated at myself for being so awkward and potentially ruining our friendship and I have no idea what I'm going to do on Monday. I'm at a new school and I don't have any friends, so I don't have anyone to turn to.

[Discussion] Fed Up(2014). An eye-opening Documentary about sugar and the food industry.Our governments are in bed with the food industry to make and keep us fat and dumb.A must watch !
/u/CrossedKing [6'2" | 160 | 20.5 | 0 | M |GW:130 ]
Created: Sat Apr 2 15:17:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d3ct5/fed_up2014_an_eyeopening_documentary_about_sugar/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y647tNm8nTI

[Discussion] I don't think I have an UGW
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Sat Apr 2 13:10:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d2u68/i_dont_think_i_have_an_ugw/
---
I am 94.4 lbs this morning, and haven't weighed myself post going to the bathroom (TMI, sorry). I think my goal weight was 92, with an ultimate goal weight of 88. But I don't think I'm aiming for numbers anymore. I don't even know what the goal is anymore. I feel like when I reach 92, I will feel little satisfaction. I tried to think of a number I want to see, but I don't know anymore. Anything close to where I am sounds like too much.


I am not doing this to look good or to feel pretty. I guess it's working. But how do you keep working at something with no goal? What am I even trying to accomplish? All I know is that I want to keep losing.


How did you come up with your UGW? What do you think you'll feel when you reach it? I actually DO want to set a goal, because otherwise, what am I even doing?

[Help] Protein in my diet? What are your safe foods?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 11:54:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d2ii8/protein_in_my_diet_what_are_your_safe_foods/
---
What do you guys think of what's most useful to eat when losing weight? Like, would you recommend eating mostly fruits and vegetables or mostly beans or tofu? Those things freak me out because they're so high in calories. But fruits and vegetables are also making me uncomfortable...

I guess what I'm also kind of asking is what is everyone's safe foods because I'm struggling to find any right now, and although I guess its a good problem to have (aka I'm barely eating) but I also need to focus on school work but I'm too tired from no food

Maybe I should just have more coffee.. haha

[Rant/Rave] i have literally been killing myself
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Sat Apr 2 11:54:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d2ihn/i_have_literally_been_killing_myself/
---
so ever since monday when i got my quarter ounce of weed i've been smoking everyday all day and having the munchies all the time like it's crazy that i have to deal with it but it's worth it in the long run but i just can't lose for shit and have been gaining

[Rant/Rave] I feel so lost
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Apr 2 10:34:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d26kq/i_feel_so_lost/
---
Wondering what I'm working so so so hard for. Even with a BMI of 12 my inside won't be pretty. My face won't be pretty and let's face it, my body won't be either.



[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Apr 2 10:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d21rj/daily_food_diary_april_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] [Help] I have a hard time staying motivated. Suggestions for punishments?
/u/allybee85
Created: Sat Apr 2 09:34:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1xrf/help_i_have_a_hard_time_staying_motivated/
---
I've tried rewards and everything in the past but I think punishment is what I need to make myself take this seriously. I'd like to punish when I binge, go over my daily intake, or fail myself in some other way. Suggestions for punishments?

[Discussion] Apple Cider Vinegar!
/u/PippiLee97 [5'7"| 149lbs | 23.6 | -18lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 08:40:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1q87/apple_cider_vinegar/
---
So I noticed this crazy thing ever since I started drinking a hot glass of water + apple cider vinegar before breakfast every morning (or when I've eaten too much and my stomach is full).

Whenever I fuck up my diet, eating however many calories past maintaining, I just don't seem to gain weight. The scale doesn't bunch any sort of significant amount. Maybe I'm crazy, but I have not been to the gym in weeks and the apple cider vinegar drink is all I added to my routine. Any opinions? Have any of you experienced this?

[Tip] Best anti-binge site
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 07:53:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1kjk/best_antibinge_site/
---
I personally have a problem with bingeing. I binge way too much and way too often and afterwards I just feel miserable in general. This is a feeling that many of us know too well, but this website helped me kind of change my mentality and think more about the actual consequences of overeating rather than just "oh I'll just restrict tomorrow"

You can't outrun a bad diet - https://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/lop

You input your stats and it tells you how long it will take to burn 3500 calories (or lose one pound) doing a variety of exercises. It would take me almost 5 hours on the elliptical to burn 1 pound, or I could just eat less. I just have to make the choice to resist.

[Help] Preparing to face an uphill battle... I could use some encouragement and advice.
/u/finding_zen [5'3 | 135 | 24.58 | -7 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 07:10:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1fra/preparing_to_face_an_uphill_battle_i_could_use/
---
This might get a little long, so **TL;DR:** I'm about to start taking Lyrica (progabelin) for what the doctor thinks is fibromayalgia. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with fibromayalgia and losing weight? Or has anyone dealt with the gabapentin-type medicine family and managed to keep working toward their goal? Last time I was on this kind of medicine I gained seven pounds :(

Before I get in to the fun details, I just want to say thank you to everyone here on this subreddit for being so supportive and kind. I'm painfully shy and anxious all the time, and I appreciate having this safe place to come to for advice on topics that would make the people in my life think I was crazy. You guys rock.

Anyway, my back/hip pain is getting worse. I'm trying to go on short walks when possible, but just moving my body gets more and more painful all the time. The doctor and I decided that we would try a "shotgun approach" in regards to pain medication to buy time while we work on finding a long term solution. Enter Lyrica. I've done a little researching (I'm on mobile, so I'm not sure that my spelling is correct here), and it seems like progabelin is a similar drug to gabapentin. My personal experience with gabapentin was no pain relief, but lots of weight gain. I'm not sure if the weight came from lack of exercise or binging or a little bit of both, but I can't let it happen again. Not only do I feel fat and disgusting, my body does not need any extra weight to drag me down on top of this pain. So it's preparation time. Has anyone here dealt with a similar situation? How can I combat weight gain related side effects from the medication? Any general tips on how to get my willpower back when this pain is making me so depressed?

Right now, here's my list of preventative measures so far:

- Buying lots of cucumbers, pickles, brussel sprouts, squash, broccoli, and onions. If the medicine makes me hungry enough to binge, I will at least be healthy and low-cal.

- I've stocked up on chamomile tea and am going to get sparkling water to help fight off cravings.

- I'm trying to get myself in an exercise routine so that the habit will stick when I'm on the medication, but we'll see how my mobility holds up.

- Looking in to the idea of bronkaid (bonus points for helping with my asthma) or something else as an appetite suppressant, but I still need to look up drug interactions.

- I'm going to start keeping a food journal as well as writing up meal plans ahead of time. I used to do this and weight started falling off, but I just lost the motivation. I also kind of want to make an inspiration notebook with pictures and quotes.

[Help] Binged last night and freaking out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 2 06:51:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1dss/binged_last_night_and_freaking_out/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I hit a new low weight and just wanted to tell someone.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 06:12:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1a3m/i_hit_a_new_low_weight_and_just_wanted_to_tell/
---
I know a lot of us can't share these kinds of things with people we know personally, so I just wanted to share with you all to get it off my chest.

I weighed in at 114 this morning, the lowest I've ever been, and have less than 10 pounds to my goal. My bmi is 19.0.

I missed the selfie train on purpose because I was feeling gross yesterday but I'll put some pictures here.

[Link](http://imgur.com/a/1DVr9)

Anyways that's all. Just feeling better today and wanted to celebrate a little.

[Help] Today I ate and don't know how to feel.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 21:34:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4czv7i/today_i_ate_and_dont_know_how_to_feel/
---
[deleted]

What's the fastest way you lost weight before?
/u/skinnybutfluffy [5'2.5" | 126 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 20:51:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4czplm/whats_the_fastest_way_you_lost_weight_before/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] How many calories do you burn tearing your place up looking for a lost snake?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 20:27:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4czm1o/how_many_calories_do_you_burn_tearing_your_place/
---
My bf has a little corn snake named Toki. He's about the width of a pencil and about 1.5ft long. I checked on him yesterday and I think there was a gap in the lid and he got out. Frantically searching for him all over and he's not in his usual hiding spots. I feel like such a fuck up I know the bf will never forgive me if I caused Toki's death/forever disappearance. I binged today too after finally hitting 155, today has been a shitty day so far. There's a little itty bitty corn snake somewhere in my condo and I really hope I can find him. Fuck.

[Rant/Rave] Needed to Vent (sorry)
/u/vhenah [5'7 | 172.2 | 26.88 | -47.8 | MOO]
Created: Fri Apr 1 18:59:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cz93u/needed_to_vent_sorry/
---
I fasted all day and then I fucking caved because I'm a weakass fatty. Naturally it just *had* to be pizza and breadsticks because I'm a piece of lard who can't control themselves. I'm so frustrated and upset because I made SO much progress this week and I just threw it all away and I'm so scared to get on the scale tomorrow morning. I want to purge but I'm too chickenshit to....

I'm sorry this is just a rant but I wanted to vent to people who wouldn't just side-eye me....

[Rant/Rave] Frustrated
/u/JekllyLovesHyde [5'6'' | 112.4| 18.22 | -4 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 18:25:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cz3us/frustrated/
---
I'm so frustrated today, I was so good this week, alternating restricting under 500 and fasting and then tonight I broke it. Binged on fast food and now I'm afraid of what my weight will be tomorrow. I really want to be close to my goal weight by graduation which is in about 6 weeks.

[Help] Insomnia?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 18:24:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cz3p6/insomnia/
---
It's 1 am. Last night I couldn't fall asleep until 5 am and woke up for my 9 am class. I feel tired, but can't fall asleep.

Does anyone else have this problem? It gets bad when I'm restricting, so I ate normally today but I still can't sleep.

[Thinspo] Hey loves! It's the start of a new month - keep your goals in mind ;) [thinspo friday #4]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 15:13:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cy5n6/hey_loves_its_the_start_of_a_new_month_keep_your/
---
http://imgur.com/a/PsRB4

[Help] Does anyone have experience with "natural" laxatives?
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 15:11:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cy55w/does_anyone_have_experience_with_natural_laxatives/
---
Currently on my second dose of generic exlax because my body hates me for my binge yesterday and refuses to poop. I don't want to get in the habit of using laxatives, as I've heard all of the crappy (haha) things that it can do in your GI system with extended use.

SO. I've been looking online and have picked up the two things that seemed to universially be marked as "natural" laxatives: apple cider vinegar and ginger tea. I've already done a shot of the vinegar and will likely use the tea later tonight if I can't get the ball rolling on a BM.

Have any of you used them? Do you use them as a 1-time help to purge or use them everyday to keep the wheels greased? From what I've read, the vinegar has a lot of health benefits outside of its mild laxative effect anyway so there's a good chance I'll keep it up.

Edit: it's all good. Nature found a way.

[Thinspo] This.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 15:09:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cy4rt/this/
---
http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/e5BbUWNi31Pfi6ofRSyrdw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3NfbGVnbztxPTg1O3c9NjMw/http://l.yimg.com/os/249/2012/07/13/630thinspo2-jpg_094439.jpg

[Discussion] Chewing and Spitting
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 146 | 25.5 | -16 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 13:54:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cxpfq/chewing_and_spitting/
---
Hi guys,

I've been playing around with chewing and spitting recently, nothing too extreme so far. But today I just chewed and spitted a whole meal for the first time (french toast and an omelette).

I found that even without swallowing it gave me the same satisfaction as eating, and it so much easier than purging afterwards.

I've heard that it can lead to increased risk of ulcers if you're preparing your body for food but it never actually gets any. But I'm thinking that if I only swallow some of it (1 in every 10 bites or something) then my body will still be getting some food and I can avoid that.

What do you guys think of this idea? Basically just that I could chew and spit most of my meals only swallowing a little bit of it. That way I could still stuff my face but avoid most of the calories and still be at a significant deficit.

What are your experiences with chewing and spitting? Do you think this could work? Is there another negative side effect to chewing and spitting I'm not thinking about?

[Rant/Rave] Oh my god guys I hit my goal!
/u/knittycat822
Created: Fri Apr 1 13:21:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cxidz/oh_my_god_guys_i_hit_my_goal/
---
I'm finally 0 pounds, I'm so happy!

~~april fools i love you guys~~

[Discussion] Lexapro and weight gain
/u/heytiny [4'11" | 98 lbs | 21.02 | -5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 12:26:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cx6kr/lexapro_and_weight_gain/
---
I was recently put on lexapro and I was wondering, if it can/does cause weight gain or increased hunger. I'm very worried about gaining weight on this medication.

[Rant/Rave] Stretch marks
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 179 | 28.0 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 11:43:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwxmr/stretch_marks/
---
I am absolutely covered in them. I got my first ones on my breasts around 10 or 11 years old, right before puberty, and it's been downhill from there. My boobs, butt, and thighs have a bunch but they're more shallow and harder to notice, and honestly don't really bother me. Even though the ones on my ribs and hips are long and thick and noticeable, they somehow don't bother me, either. But the ones on my stomach, the only ones that came from noticeable weight gain, actually kill me. There's only a couple, and they're white rather than red (and they always have been), but they're so noticeable. They almost make me want to not lose the weight, because it won't be worth it. I feel like my skin will just sag like an empty bag and I'll never be able to wear crop tops and bikinis anyways.

Has anyone who has lost a lot of weight have stretch marks? How do they make you feel about your weight loss, and how have they changed as you lost weight? You never see cute before and after pics of people with stretch marks and I've almost never seen a thin person who isn't a mom with stretch marks. I don't even know how to come around about feeling better about them, and it's not like theyre ever going away...

[Intro] long time lurker, first time poster from an alt; longish intro/history with a question near the end.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 11:11:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwqy7/long_time_lurker_first_time_poster_from_an_alt/
---
lets get stats/motivation/history out of the way:

31 years old, female, new mom with a 9 month old baby. 5'3", normally 125lbs, currently 116lbs.

After I had my baby I was overtaken with a desire to **NOT** be a fat mom. I desperately wanted to impress everyone with the depth and speed of my postpartum weight loss. I had gained 60lbs while pregnant, however 30 of that was was baby, viscera, and fluids. I was EXTREMELY bloated through out my entire pregnancy, which bothered me for the whole 9 months. I wanted to be the cute skinny pregnant chick, instead I was swollen and puffy for a majority of it. Additionally, I was absolutely ravenous my entire pregnancy (no morning sickness), its like there was a bottomless pit in my stomach which added to my pregnancy weight gain shame. I tried so hard to stick within the guidelines but I was in pain, hormonal, tired, and I just couldn't do it.

Regardless, by 3.5 months PP I was back into my old clothes, and by 5 months PP I was back in the 120s. Breastfeeding is amazing for weight loss. I read somewhere that breastfeeding burns 20 calories per ounce produced. Concurrently, I also suffered from over supply issues so I was producing a crazy amount of breast milk, which meant I was burning a crazy amount of calories. I don't know if it was subconscious ED will power, or I'm a special snowflake, but I never felt the lactation hunger most women complain about. In fact, after I gave birth my appetite returned to its normal levels.

Anyhoo, that brings me to today. I'm 10/11 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm still breastfeeding, producing about 25-28 ounces a day. However I notice my supply dropping as kiddo eats more and more solid foods, which has given me a bit of a panic. For so long I relied on the intense calorie burn of BF that I ate around 1500-1700 cals a day.

Because of, or in spite of, this realization, my ED behaviors/thinking are triggered. Additionally, my husband got me a wii fit U for my anniversary gift (bless him) which has amplified this trigger.

9 months ago I set my UGW as 120lbs. Then I hit 120lbs and decided hm, might as well take advantage of the BF calorie burn and shoot for 115lbs, my ultimate UGW. Now I'm at 116lbs and I've readjusted my UGW for 110lbs. I haven't been 110lbs since I was in high school. The lowest I've gotten as an adult is 113lbs, and I was heavily into restriction back then. Very faint, moody, depressed, HUNGRY, etc. A coworker called me scrawny and that seemed to snap me out of it.

However now I feel...good. I can eat a reasonable amount (1500 cals) and expect breastfeeding plus exercise to burn it away. But now I'm on a deadline; supply is dropping, and I have at most 3 more months left of breastfeeding.

So like a light switch, my ED (and all that crazy thinking) has been turned on. I've begun exercising compulsively (thanks wii U peodmeter) and cut my calories down to 1300 (I'd like to cut more, but I need at least 1200 for stable breast milk supply).

**My current (irrational) dilemma** is the weight discrepancy between my bathroom scale and the wii u fit board.The wii u fit board puts me at 2lbs lighter (115lbs) than my bathroom scale (117lbs). So I mentally compromised, and settled on 116lbs.

but its bothering me. *I NEED TO KNOW*. This ridiculous 2 lbs discrepancy can make the difference between a good day and sustained motivation, or a bad day and crumbling self esteem.

I almost missed my train this morning because I kept hopping back and forth between both scales, hoping they'd match up.

WAT DO. what scale would you believe? how accurate is a new wii u fit board compared to an oldish digital bathroom scale?

Additionally, am I welcome here? I've been reading for a while and it seems like you ladies are so much more...dedicated than I am. Enh, I feel like I eat so much compared to some of you, and that my UGW is so high compared to other ladies of my stature. Not that any of this is a competition...but I feel like fatty fat fat play acting, despite having these thoughts and behaviors for 15+ years.

Imposter syndrome, I think that's what its called.

As weird as it is, I'm jealous of those of you who don't eat dinner. I absolutely can't get out of dinner; my husband makes it and I'm expected to eat it. Likewise baby man is becoming more aware of what I do, so I need to model good habits for him. I try to restrict as much as I can during the day, but I (un)fortunately need a clear head for work so that means I have to eat breakfast (gag). Its not like the younger days, where I could be powered by caffeine and sheer force of will.

Anyhoo, if you made it this far, thanks for reading!


[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else feel like the most fucked up human on the planet?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 11:11:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwqxj/does_anyone_else_feel_like_the_most_fucked_up/
---
I feel so fucked up like all the time.

Depession, anxiety, insomnia...

Like why the fuck am I so fucked up. Why me? I don't want any of this. It makes me mad at myself which makes it worse.

Like just be fucking normal stupid me... but then at the same time I'm like, no you deserve to wallow in your own filth you scum.




Edit: I'm just going to vent everything right here because I can't even burden anyone in real life with this shit, and I feel like I will actually explode...

I want to die. I actually genuinely wish I could just push a button and dissappear from existence. I'm the biggest burden to my friends. I'm a burden to my family. I'm tired of everything. I suck at everything. I'm tired. Exhausted.

I'm failing at college. I can't even bring myself to do work. I have two essays due on sunday. I haven't started either and instead opted for sitting at my desk and crying all day.

My parents think I'm a lazy sack of shit. I'm happy I can't hear them talking behind my brother and my back anymore. Yeah thats right guys I fucking heard the time you said we were lazy and ignorant. Maybe we are... or at least I am. I wish that miscarriage my mom had survived so I wouldn't exist.

I'm the fucking worst. Genuinely the worst.

I can't even talk to my fucking *therapist* about this because I'm too scared to actually show any kind of emotion besides happy infront of people.

And I get this bouts of emotion when I just get so angry and sad and frustrated and guilty that I ever even get that way at all so I cut myself... and then feel even guiltier for that.

Fuck me I don't deserve this life.

[Rant/Rave] I feel better
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 10:21:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwgr5/i_feel_better/
---
I mean despite the fact I can't go to a show tonight because of my eyes. One eye gets sick and then the other. But I managed not to binge last night. I b/p earlier that day but it's ok. I feel better about myself today. I feel more in control. I like that. My boyfriend is home finally. He's going out with friends tonight so I'll be stuck at home but hell I'm glad he can have a good time. And I guess the brightside is no dinner or beer. Just the 8 o clock liquor call. We shall see. I want my rumchata white russian but they are WAY too high in calories and also expensive to make. So I'm sticking with what I know best. Hopefully my fat brain doesn't rear it's ugly head. Stay skinny loves!

[Rant/Rave] Uuugghhh
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 10:17:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwfwl/uuugghhh/
---
I've been stuck at 125 for close to a week now. My consumption has not been good. Still at a deficit, but way too high. I've been feeling bingey and doing things like snacking on peanut butter. I blame a lot of shit...water weight, stress, lack of sleep, lack of protein, even lack of Splenda (my blood sugar going up and down because I've been putting honey in my coffee instead). But the real problem is I've gotten complacent.

Unfortunately I won't be able to fully restrict this weekend, but I'll do my best to keep it light. Then after next weekend, I might be under medical supervision (for non-ED reasons) which would mean I'd have to eat relatively normally for a month. :/

I just wanted to be 100 by June and it's looking like I won't get there. I might have to aim for 90 by September instead.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 1 10:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwd5m/daily_food_diary_april_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Overshot my goal weight! But what do I do now?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 09:08:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cw35o/overshot_my_goal_weight_but_what_do_i_do_now/
---
Broke my fast this morning after 2 days+2 nights and I'm under my goal weight. It feels so wrong to set my calorie tracker to maintenance goals...anyone have experience with this?

Right now I'm going to see if I can be consistent at 1400 a day, but that seems absurdly high. On the other hand, I don't really want to get below 100. I still see a lot of room for progress but I'm worried that's body dysmorphia talking.

People who hit their goal weights, what was the aftermath like?

[Intro] ProED has actually ended my ED
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Fri Apr 1 09:03:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cw25u/proed_has_actually_ended_my_ed/
---
I developed major depression in early 2011 that switched to bipolar with an amazing anxiety attack at work one day. Since being diagnosed I lost control of my eating. I went from 5'7" and under 140 lbs my whole life to 160 lbs in a year. I would binge eat where every bite physically hurt and kept eating. I had no control multiple times a week. I gained weight constantly and felt disgusting. Knowing I was a lard ass made me worse and I ate because that's what pigs do. When something good happened I ate. When something bad happened I ate. When I was bored I ate.

Then I found you guys. It helped me feel..normall..like it wasn't ok, but it was understandable. Binges happen, but they can be controlled and accepted. It's common in all types of ED. I never perged, and I doubt I ever will. I learned control and acceptance.

Since January I have reduced my full blown binges from 4+ per week to only 4 in all of March.

Is it possible ProED has helped me overcome my BED? I am almost back to the 130's for the first time since 2010. A healthy normal weight for myself. The weight I am when I dream. I have set myself a goal to be in the 120s for the rest of my life.

I am not a dog, I don't reward myself with food.

I ate too much. You don't smash your phone because you dropped it. Pick it up and move on.

Thank you proed for getting me out of my depression and BED. I don't know what I would be if I hadn't gotten help here.

[Rant/Rave] Binged again
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 08:54:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cw0h5/binged_again/
---
Fuck my stupid fucking choices. Yesterday I was perfectly satisfied, hadn't been hungry all day, and had a whooping 260 calories. I was so proud of myself. Then my fat ass saw kettle popcorn in the cabinet and the next thing I know I'm in a full-fledged downward style binge. I ate everything: ramen, easter candy, hot dogs, chili, pizza rolls. Anything I could get my hands on. I hadn't even had any cravings! I just thought "well a little popcorn won't hurt, I've been good all week...." and down I went.

So I cried my eyes out and got drunk last night and today I'm recommitting. I've thrown out any food in my apartment that can tempt me. ANY food. No mac and cheese, no oreo thins, no nothing that I'd want to binge on. I even threw away unopened bags of chips. Hindsight, I should have found a place to donate but fuck it.

Went to Walmart and bought pickles (0-10 calorie), flavored waters (0 calorie), plain frozen broccoli, and water. Until Monday at 6:30pm, I'm only allowed to drink 0 cal drinks and eat no food. Then Monday-Friday I'm at a strict 800cal restriction.

[Goal] weight loss progress
/u/lilaclia [5'4" | 113.2 | 19.4 | -9.8 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 08:38:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cvxvn/weight_loss_progress/
---
I've lost 10.4 pounds since my relapse on 2/26/16. Honestly, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I feel like this ED is controlling me and I don't even have to try very hard to lose weight now; I just listen to the ED. I'm 2.6 pounds away from my next goal weight.

[Discussion] Healthy food alternatives - my lovelies, what say you? Thoughts?
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 07:50:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cvpu6/healthy_food_alternatives_my_lovelies_what_say/
---
http://www.healthy-holistic-living.com/30-unhealthy-foods-you-mistake-as-healthy-and-their-surprising-swaps.html

[Help] ECA stack dosage
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW:118.2 (-10) GW:95 | BMI 22.3 | Female]
Created: Fri Apr 1 07:39:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cvnzw/eca_stack_dosage/
---
Bottle says 3 a day max. How serious is that, like, if I took four or five, is that a big deal?

Also don't know how to flag on mobile D:

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! April 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 1 06:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cv9vt/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_april_01/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for April 01, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] Still feeling like a fraud
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 05:59:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cv9ce/still_feeling_like_a_fraud/
---
I first posted in this sub about a week ago saying about how I wasn't sure I belonged here. And I'm still not sure I do. I still hang out in the 'healthy' weight loss subs under my other username, but I don't think I belong there anymore either.

I don't really know where I belong. I eat healthy (read 1200-1300 calories a day and run about 4.5 miles) for a couple of days. Then freak out about how no one needs to be eating that much food. Spend the next four days eating 600-800 calories and running about 4.5 miles.

When I'm eating healthy I think that's the proper thing to do and I'm all for it. When I'm restricting I know it's wrong, but I feel better. Physically and mentally I feel better when I'm eating less food.

I rarely binge (not that I don't ever, but it's not a common thing for me. Maybe once every six weeks? Every other month?) and never purge. I just swing back and forth between eating super healthy and restricting.

This is a giant ramble. Sorry. I have a stressful thing I need to do this afternoon (only stressful for me, normal people would have no problem doing it) and my anxiety is through the roof right now. Like, my hands are shaking as I type.

Ugh. Why can't I have a normal brain?



[Rant/Rave] Ugh. Fuck me. I ate the tube cookie dough out of the damn garbage
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 05:15:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cv4am/ugh_fuck_me_i_ate_the_tube_cookie_dough_out_of/
---
Like the piece of shit that I am. Honestly more frustrated because i binged yesterday, telling myself it was alright because at least i wasnt getting the cookie dough from the garbage. And that's what i did this morning. I hope i get salmonella. 232g of raw cookie dough. Almost 1000 calories. And no, not technically touched by garbage, but out of the refrigerator for 24+ hours. And now i cant have my dinner that i had planned (i want an overall 700 calorie day) and i have to work hard for the 130 calories i want in alcohol. So look who's walking for like 3 hours!

[Rant/Rave] Fuck food porn
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.9 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 04:08:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cuxhc/fuck_food_porn/
---
I'm unsubscribing from all the food porn subreddits, especially you /r/DessertPorn. This easter break sucked (I can't bring myself to update my flair) and while I've been slowly getting things back under control, it's not happening fast enough. I don't even know why I subscribed to them in the first place (because I enjoy torturing myself apparently).

So: clean reddit, 14k run, no dinner, just wine with friends. Starting the new month off right.

[Intro] Trying to fix myself. Hey, I missed you guys!
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 116 |18.64| F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 03:47:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cuvbn/trying_to_fix_myself_hey_i_missed_you_guys/
---
I have developed a serious binging problem these past 2 months or so (since I left you guys). My favourite pants are too small for my huge saggy ass. I had to stop with fitness because I had surgery. Bye abs, bye muscles, bye progress... My depression has gotten totally out of control. I think I have failed more than I have succeeded to get out of bed. I hit a new level of self-hatred. I finally sought help, I went to a psychologist at my university and I will be in a 12 week program, I just need to sign myself in (I didn't have the courage yet, because I need to call my doctor and stuff, and I'm having a hard time getting shit done in my life and I'm so scared). I look as rotten on the outside as I feel on the inside. But I'm ready now.

Hey sweeties, I'm back! I log everything that goes into my mouth and I'm slowly getting my intake down to an acceptable level again. I have to be 107 lbs before bikini-weather. I thought it would be good for me to stop browsing this sub but turns out you help me so much by giving me the feeling I'm not totally alone. Thank you.

Weekly pic, missed the usual thread
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 01:44:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cujw9/weekly_pic_missed_the_usual_thread/
---
https://imgur.com/a/rs4bq

[Thinspo] K-Pop thinspo video list! (Girls and Guys)
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 141 lbs | -10 | GW 115 | 22.76 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 00:33:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cuc7y/kpop_thinspo_video_list_girls_and_guys/
---
I'm so into k-pop, and a lot of the girls (and guys) are my biggest inspirations for being thin. It's also a great, fun distraction for when you wanna binge, or post-purging shame. Great for fashion inspo too!


I tried to put good music on the list as well as great visuals! Enjoy! I know April 1st is a big anxiety day for a lot of us as well as post-Easter, so I hope this helps you stay distracted and positive.



**Girls:**


[Taeyeon - Rain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHir_vB1RUI)


[Girl's Generation - Lion Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVCubhQ454c)


[Brown Eyed Girls - Brave New World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fMnBrts2cg)


[Hyuna - Red](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTXCgR93zC8)


[Orange Caramel - My Copycat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqSF_9Zf0n4)


[Girl's Day - Darling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB4dQcxgJPY)


[IU - Twenty-Three](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42Gtm4-Ax2U)


[Nine Muses - Hurt Locker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sna6j078eOw)


[Ga-In - Paradise Lost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i32ANEa5mk)


[Wonder Girls - I Feel You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9QXQz6uE0M)




**Guys:**


[Taemin - Drip Drop](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz3mm3tPKfg)


[Jonghyun - Crazy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yIDkbbdOoE)


[Jonghyun - Hallelujiah (The backup dancers are also thin and gorgeous!)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNqlFPlNErE)


[SHINee - View](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF53cptEE5k)


[KNK - Knock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYVDIZcb6Og)


[VIXX - Chained Up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqzBrI76e4g)

[Exo - Love Me Right](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuqaVryDRd0P)


[Zico - I Am You, You Are Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewjucLierFc)


[G-Dragon - Crooked](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKhsHGfrFmY)


[Winner - Sentimental](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV9NJGTLm-4)



If this gets enough love, I'll probably make another post for more. If anyone else wants to share their favorite k-pop thinspo please do!

[Rant/Rave] Day two thoughts.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Fri Apr 1 00:26:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cubfk/day_two_thoughts/
---
I have made it a little over 48 hours without food. I have somehow managed to not fuck things up so far and i plan to fast another day. I will force myself to get out of the house and avoid the kitchen even though there is home made mac and cheese leftover from my parents cooking. Newfound vegan me has no interest in non vegan foods. I wish the scale would budge. I feel like all this torture i put myself through is worth it. I want to see results. I want to feel better about myself i wish the scale would just budge. I am retaining water i think and it is freaking me out. I have been the same weight two days now so tomorrow maybe there will be a change.

I enjoy the empty feeling. It feels a little euphoric though i am scared when i will have to eat on saturday. I need to eat at least one meal on saturday more likely two but i think i can keep both under 1000 calories or less. Which shouldn't cause me to lose any of my fasting progress.

[Discussion] I went to my first yoga class!
/u/childshair [5'7 | 107.2 lbs | 16.73 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 21:48:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ctrjw/i_went_to_my_first_yoga_class/
---
I just went to my first yoga class today with a friend!! I haven't worked out in a year and I feel amazing! I was humidified so I sweat a bunch!


[Intro] hey guys
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 21:42:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ctqoo/hey_guys/
---
hey guys, I've been away from here for a while and I guess it was because I thought I was getting better. But a lot of things in my life have gone to shit over the time I've been away and this is the only way I can have any sense of control anymore (ugh) so I've slipped back into my old tendencies. I'm pretty fucking upset because I stepped on the scale and I've gained weight. I'm honestly too ashamed to even update my flair and I've made a pact with myself that I'll update it when I lose weight and I weigh less than what I did pre-gain. Honestly I'm so low lately and I'm glad to be back in a sick way.


[Rant/Rave] Mixed feelings about today
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 20:47:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ctiy8/mixed_feelings_about_today/
---
So, eating wise, I did amazing. I had one bite of banana which I spit out and two cups of black coffee. That's it.

I feel conflicted though because my friend who knows me and also has an ED is clearly upset with me. I mentioned I was having trouble walking and she got really snippy and now I feel really uncomfortable talking to her. She's kind of my go to person for support as well, and now I don't think I can talk to her for a while.

I feel like I shouldn't have said anything; she told me to eat but I really can't. I had such a "good" day because my disorder is so bad. LikeI said, I had to spit out my banana. So... Idk. Lots of mixed feelings :/

[Rant/Rave] I just need to vent
/u/scullayylmao
Created: Thu Mar 31 18:44:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ct0px/i_just_need_to_vent/
---
No flair bc I'm on mobile

Basically I've always had a horrible relationship with food. I had an eating disorder when I was twelve and recovered through that.

I grew up listening to my mom reminisce about when she was a size zero and listen to her say mean things about those who were overweight. I became so scared she would look at me and judge me, that I starved myself.

My highest weight was 143 lbs when I was 17. I ate horribly, didn't exercise and was stressed out. I started running every day and I'm about five months I was at 130.

When I began work I decided that I would only eat breakfast and a snack. In two months I was down to 119. I can't express to you how it felt to see that number.

But it wasn't good enough (it never is, is it?) I wanted to be skinnier. I wanted to be 100 lbs. And when my mom dragged me to the doctors a month later and I stepped on the scale to see 126 lbs, I cried for the rest of the night.

I realized I had a serious problem. But now it has gotten worse. I hate my body. I hate it with a passion. My arms are rolls of fat, my legs are horribly huge. My face is disgustingly fat and I hate having my photo taken.

I can't eat a normal meal without throwing it up. I eat my breakfast and some fruit. Anything other than that I have to throw it up. I'm so afraid of gaining weight. I just want to be skinny.

It felt so good to hear "you're so skinny" even though I didn't believe it at the time. I miss it.

[Discussion] r/ProED Banners?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 18:23:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4csxjz/rproed_banners/
---
Hi guys! So /u/Kaelle and I were chatting and mod u/Noroeste recommended we brought this discussion to everyone!

Our conversation can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnq4e/psa_unwanted_attention_and_harassment/d1jxdnw) but basically we were discussing our banners. Personally, I feel like they kind of make people jump to conclusions about our subreddit being unhealthy/like we're supporting people getting eating disorders, but additionally, it makes it really hard to browse r/ProED. I feel only safe looking at it when I'm alone, I'm afraid someones going to glance at it and catch a glimpse and immediately be suspicious.

I wanted to propose changing both the top and side scrolling banners to something more positive and, more importantly, more conspicuous. I was thinking even positive images of bodies rather than your typical thinspo pics, and maybe more general words of encouragement rather than very clearly ED related quotes.

What do you all think of this? Are you guys interested in a change? Do you have any suggestions for new banners?

[Rant/Rave] boyfriend is supportive of my behaviors
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 124.5 | 21.65 | F | 27y]
Created: Thu Mar 31 17:09:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4csm01/boyfriend_is_supportive_of_my_behaviors/
---
...not sure whether to cry or laugh. I did tell him that I was underweight and lost my period for months when I was 20...but he didn't believe me. When I met him, 5 years ago, bingeing and alcohol abuse had me ballooned up to 145lbs at my HW so he can't imagine me at 95 or lower and that's okay but...

...he actively supports me in my (i thought it was) disordered behavior. Oh you don't want to anything all day, that's fine. And when I do eat he's like..do you really think you should eat that?

I am just confused. I lost about 15lbs from when I started out mid February and my every thought turns around calories and I weigh myself at least 5 times but he thinks it's okay.

I get it, he hated my fat body. He wants a skinny girlfriend...but...I just didnt think he would actively kick my ass each day. I don't know how to put it in words but I feel even worse (self confidence wise) because I know he dislikes my body.

How does your bf react? I cannot talk to him anymore about weightloss but its so hard because its on my mind all the time.

[Discussion] What do you miss?
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 16:32:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4csfui/what_do_you_miss/
---
We all probably remember something about our lives pre-ED. What do you miss about it? I miss not caring what I ate. I swam 3-6 hours a day, everyday for years. I burned so many calories that I could eat a whole sleeve of Oreos. I could go out for a pizza or a buffet and eat and eat and never even think about a calorie.

[Rant/Rave] You guys give me hope
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Thu Mar 31 16:13:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cscyf/you_guys_give_me_hope/
---
I'm tired so I hope I make sense, I've never really done very low kcal restriction, I'm kinda trying to maintain between eating events by not eating a ton, yet keep losing which I don't really mind, I eat 1200-1350 on average, as eating less just makes me binge eat, but I did anyway today and ate a pack of chocolate chip cookies cause the Internet was dead and I couldn't satisfy my food obsession enough to not eat.

That's not why I am making this post though, in the coming 2 weeks I got a grand total of 7 different social events that incorporate social binge eating with no way out for me as one of my friends started being worried about my eating habits (she's diagnosed with an ed). The thought of this food terrifies me, but I realised something that I will just keep repeating to myself, no matter how much you have to eat this day, there will be more than enough days in the future where you can and will making up for it. Even though you overeat enough to gain 1+ kg, you can fucking lose it again as well. All those lovely skinny people on here may have had a terrible binge day, maybe even worse than yours, yet they don't turn into whales to you, you won't either.

Wish me luck, I'm scared. :(

[Discussion] Has anyone ever gotten to their goal weight, and maintained?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Thu Mar 31 15:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cs9mq/has_anyone_ever_gotten_to_their_goal_weight_and/
---
i always see people get to their ultimate goal weight and then they have another goal weight of ten pounds less and it goes on and on. was anyone ever happy with what they looked like at their goal weight and try to stay the same?

[Discussion] Does anyone else actually enjoy this?
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Thu Mar 31 13:48:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crq3e/does_anyone_else_actually_enjoy_this/
---
I love my ED. So much. It makes me happy and I love myself. I love starving all day and then binging and purging before bed. I love the weight loss and compliments and looks. I love getting swimmy when I stand up. I love touching my hips bones as I lay in bed. My ED feels like one of the best and most important parts of me. Sometimes it's the only thing making my life worth living.

[Goal] I need to start new again.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 13:35:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crnwz/i_need_to_start_new_again/
---
I say this every post. I need to restart my day again ): But I've had an infected eye, a sick kid, I just b/p fucking indian food and def didn't get it all up. It hurt my eyes. I can pinch my fat everywhere. I think I officially lost my mind. I hope I can stay fasting.

[Intro] An intro
/u/Backtothedailygrind [5'6.0' | 163.6 | 26.51 | -56.2 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 13:30:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crn4f/an_intro/
---
Hey all,

I've been lurking for a few days, created an account I'm comfortable using last night. Just thought I'd say hi and introduce myself since that seems to be a common thing to do.

I'm both relieved to be back on a pro-ED forum and really sad, I'm sure there are a few of you here who know exactly what I mean. I've never been diagnosed with an ED professionally, nor have I ever been such a low or high weight it was really necessary.

I've never been comfortable in my body. About 7 years ago something finally clicked and I knew I could lose weight if I wanted. I lost 30 pounds in about 2 months, which was maybe not a lot considering I weighed 190. I stalled majorly at 160 and started the infinitely frustrating binge->exercise purge->restrict->binge cycle that plagued me for months. Stupid teenage me had no will power.

I don't know what about joining the military made me stop restricting, but over 2 years I gained 70 pounds. All the bingeing, no (effective) purging. I lost 40 pounds through massive restriction over a 2-3 month time period, but eventually fell right back into eating more than a horse. Made it back up to 220 eventually.

A year ago, something clicked again and I started trying in earnest to lose weight. Counting calories, exercising within reason - just typical dieter stuff. Lost 40 pounds in 6 months. The last 6 months I've been technically losing, (10 pounds), but just ultra slow. Trying to balance the food I want and need and being social hasn't been working. I wanted so recently and so badly to eat like a normal person.

I don't know what suddenly changed but I'm no longer interested in health or anything. I just want this blubber gone. I can't see anything but thunder thighs and bingo wings when I look in the mirror. I'm craving the feeling of hunger and physical exhaustion again.

I'm not eating this month unless it'd be suspicious for me not to (dinner with my husband, mostly). I have too much weight to lose to look suspicious this early. At least since it's spring, I can put in a ton more veggies in our meals without it being odd. Time to break that 160 LW.

Hope everyone is fantastic <3

[Discussion] A new month - any plans?
/u/coffee-and-books [5"7 | GW 110 | -12.5 lbs]
Created: Thu Mar 31 13:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cri5r/a_new_month_any_plans/
---
I'm breaking a three-day fast tomorrow with 500 calories a day in liquids only. I'm not sure how long I can keep that up before I introduce solids, but... a new month makes me feel determined. What are you changing this month?

[Discussion] Fasting - feeling powerful
/u/coffee-and-books [5"7 | GW 110 | -12.5 lbs]
Created: Thu Mar 31 12:44:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crf67/fasting_feeling_powerful/
---
I'm on day 3 of eating 200 calories or less in liquids. Mornings are always the hardest because when I binge it's usually right after I wake up. But now I'm learning to go straight to the scale and motivating myself. I'm down 12.5 lbs from 24 days of restriction. Admittedly, I've slipped up several times, but I'm gaining control. It feels good.

Since tomorrow is a new month I think I will start a juice fast with a little more calories. I feel so good with my body empty.

[Discussion] Just joined MFP! Care to share your usernames?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 12:27:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crcax/just_joined_mfp_care_to_share_your_usernames/
---
I'd love to see what you lovely ladies eat! my username is mp4vs49 :D

[Goal] Tomorrow is the 1st.
/u/Rumplefatskin [5'6.5" | Corpulent | -20.4| F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 12:16:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cragj/tomorrow_is_the_1st/
---
[Can't flair, mobile. Sorry. 😝]

So tomorrow is the first of April.
March 2016 is the last month of failure.
Starting at midnight, I will be good.
I will stop stuffing my fat face.

I will be stronger than this.
Finally.

Goals:
I will be 20+ lbs lighter by May 1.
I will not drinking soda.
I will take an EC stack 3x a day 5-6x a week.
Wear my Fitbit every day.
Weigh myself daily.
[...will add more when I think of them. 😉]


You're more than welcome to share your April goals. 😀

[Goal] I made this post about goals a while back
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 31 12:06:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr8sc/i_made_this_post_about_goals_a_while_back/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49cb7n/lets_share_our_goals_and_rewards/

How are we doing ladies and gents?

For me: I'm still 1,5 kgs away from my goal.. The first 8 kgs were easy, but it got a lot harder after that. Still want the straightner tho, gonna work my ass of to get it lol

[Rant/Rave] (Rant) my mom totally flipped out this morning over a f*cking magazine
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:58:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr7d8/rant_my_mom_totally_flipped_out_this_morning_over/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How to stop stomach rumbling?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:41:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr4eh/how_to_stop_stomach_rumbling/
---
I have an hour and a half therapy session in two hours and I don't want it to be making lots of noise as we awkwardly stare at each other in silence

[Tip] Fantastic reverse thinspo: overweight "mukbangs" / eating videos (link included, I feel nauseous)
/u/HiccupKitten [5'4" I 110.8 I 19.0 I -5 lbs I F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:21:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr0y7/fantastic_reverse_thinspo_overweight_mukbangs/
---
Stopped a binge! This video totally quelled my urge to eat fried chicken and a big savory meal:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haPt8T6TTg0

Sort of mean for me to say, but she is so overweight, watching her eat all this was both satisfying (for the hungry part of me) and also revolting (because anti-thinspo).

I no longer feel like gorging on that shi*t.

Hope someone else is helped by this too :)


[Rant/Rave] Frustrated
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:18:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr0bj/frustrated/
---
Even though I've been eating less every day, I weighed myself and I've only lost a pound across a day, and I went to the gym yesterday. I'm so frustrated. I'm working so hard and I keep thinking about food but then I think about how I only lost a pound. And I look in the mirror and Ijust look so overweight and I can't deal with this.

[Goal] A small victory against Bulimia!
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 146lbs | 22.7 | 34lbs | ]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:14:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqzpt/a_small_victory_against_bulimia/
---
It's been so long on this stupid b/p cycle that I've forgotten what losing weight feels like! I've felt like s**t for weeks and thought I'd treat myself to new jeans. I bought my standard size which is 12 (US 8) and they're so loose!

I've never needed a belt to wear size 12's before!!

I hope everyone else is doing okay today.

I guess I just wanted to share that it's possible, we can do this

[Rant/Rave] I just want to cry
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:09:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqyxr/i_just_want_to_cry/
---
I ate a 320 calorie fucking cookie and I only have like 100 calories left for today and I haven't had any dinner yet. I want to cry my eyes out. I have been so bloated lately so I feel even more fat and gross. I tried to eat a normal amount yesterday but I just feel like shit now about it. I ate so much and drank so much the scale said I was 110 when I am 102. I know theres no way I gained 8Ibs but I still feel like I might as well be 500Ibs at this point. I complained to a friend about that cookie and he just told me to calm down but it just made me even more upset. I just want to sleep forever but I can't :c I just want to feel pretty and small instead of feeling like a whale with no willpower.

[Rant/Rave] Finally got weight-related comments
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:06:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqyi8/finally_got_weightrelated_comments/
---
It was hard to contain the bubbling excitement of knowing that I look like I have objectively lost weight. Up until now, nobody has said anything. It made me wonder if my fears about looking the same despite weight loss...was in fact, a reality.


A co-worker made a comment about me eating the treats I'm bringing to a meeting tomorrow because "most people pack on 10 lbs in the winter" but I "somehow managed to lose weight". Another co-worker chimed in that that I'm "tiny".


I fumbled around with my keys on my way out to order from the bakery, and just awkwardly smiled. I don't know why this is even an accomplishment. But it's a relief to know that I am making progress and dwindling down, even if I can't quite see it.



[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 31 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqnlb/daily_food_diary_march_31_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 31, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I wasn't having the same level of success as I was before...
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 09:20:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqgw1/i_wasnt_having_the_same_level_of_success_as_i_was/
---
so I went back on phentermine. I weighed myself this week and I've been hovering around the same spot for 3 weeks and I finally got sick of it and made an appointment to see the doctor the next day. I can't stand to look like this a second longer. Makes me want to punch myself in the face and tear my hair out.

[Help] my two favorite weight charts-help keep you motivated to keep up the accepted standard
/u/spacecadetjulliette
Created: Thu Mar 31 09:18:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqgly/my_two_favorite_weight_chartshelp_keep_you/
---
http://imgur.com/a/FGz9e

[Goal] I like a challenge
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Thu Mar 31 09:03:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqe78/i_like_a_challenge/
---
At my doctor's appointment, I'm pretty sure I frustrated the hell out of her. She offered various suggestions to keep from losing weight, such as "eating more snacks". She also suggested taking a multi-vitamin. Thing is, I'm not exactly trying to be healthy. I don't want to gain weight.


Anyway, she said that my weight wasn't "dangerously low". She said, "Now, if it were below 16, it would be more of an issue". Of course, to someone with an ED, that was hard to hear. I am obsessive about numbers, and played around with the BMI calculator. I don't even need to lose that much to get to a sub 16...just 5 lbs or so for good measure in the mid-15s. I could do it within a month with some discipline.


I'm supposed to go to treatment sometime in late April or May now, but just one last time, one last time, I want to feel the rush of losing weight. I want to live a real, normal life. I do. I wish people understood that it is so much more than "wanting help". I feel like it's so ingrained in me that it stopped feeling like a choice a long time ago.


I don't want help. But I think I need it. I don't want to live this way, especially because my goals aren't about looking good in clothes, a bathing suit, or for an event. My goal is to look sick, feel sick, and maybe die. I guess that's why I'm going later sometime next month or in early May. If anything, I can get out of work. I don't want to live this way anymore, but for the next month, I like a challenge...just 5 more lbs.

[Rant/Rave] My ED makes me so paranoïd
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 31 08:49:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqc0g/my_ed_makes_me_so_paranoïd/
---
I usually prep cucumbers with vinegar and leave it in the fridge for the next day so y'know, it tastes really nice. Lately I've been freaking out about my roommates throwing in oil or something. Unprepared cucumbers it will be :(

[Goal] Broke my plateau!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 08:21:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cq7tq/broke_my_plateau/
---
After 3 days of being stuck at 123.4, I'm finally 122.2!!! I did a coffee fast yesterday and took a diuretic and the scale has *finally* gone down. I know 3 days isn't a very long time for a plateau but I have never experienced anything like that before.

My goal was to be 120 by Sunday but I don't know how plausible that is since it's Thursday and I'm a whopping 122. Anyways, I'm just so happy the scale finally budged.

[Rant/Rave] I'm Pretty Sure I Would Have a Thigh Gap if I wasn't Knock-Kneed: and other stories.
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 08:14:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cq6r5/im_pretty_sure_i_would_have_a_thigh_gap_if_i/
---
*Feet together, knees together*

Thighs running straight beside one another

Down toward the knees that knock together

Down toward the feet I've pressed together


Jealous of all of you bow-legged beauties

Feet all together

Thighs all apart

I grip the bits at the top where my gap should be

As if by strength

Could pull it apart


*Skip dinner, wake up bloated*

Entire GI protesting its emptiness

Inflammation filling that would-be bikini bridge

Raging and roiling, threatening if left empty

To make me nonsensically fatter


Jealous of all you empty, beautiful bellies

Floating through fasts

Drifting EC stacks

I scramble just one egg in the smallest of pans

As if by sheer willpower

Could make my gut stop


*Everything tastes better than skinny feels*

Going out with my gourmet and foodie friends

Discussing our recipes over a coffee

Feeling my sweet tooth rage in my head


Jealous of all the imaginary others

Who I know in my fantasy are better than me

Taking a pill

Feeling your fill

I serve myself just one bite of pie this time

Praying to goddesses

It could be my last?


If I could stop, I would

Oh to not care

To skip over the mirror

Except to do hair

If I could love myself

And feed me to live

Oh what a life

Oh what I would give


[Rant/Rave] 3113. [Rant]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 31 08:03:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cq4z6/3113_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I really liked the way my arm looked in this...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 07:20:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpz16/i_really_liked_the_way_my_arm_looked_in_this/
---
http://imgur.com/Jne2f6C

[Help] Weight gain after surgery
/u/skinnyhotlinebling [1.75 | 57 kg | 18.3 | - 19 kg | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 07:08:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpxkt/weight_gain_after_surgery/
---
Hello! Maybe I'm dumb, but I'm having na anxiety attack. I couldn't weight myself in the hospital and I had to eat their foods (my surgery was on monday and I've been there until yesterday). Today, when it was possible for me to weight myself, I saw that I am 3 kg heavier (6.7 pounds!) and I'm really freaking out. Is this normal? Does this happen? Or have I eaten too much? I don't trust anyone to talk about this, except you.

PS: I can't eat knowing this and my mother is going crazy, saying that I won't get better if I don't eat after surgery. But I just can't, I just feel like throwing up and I'm feeling so sick.

[Goal] I will lose weight by graduation
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 06:28:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpsax/i_will_lose_weight_by_graduation/
---
I look back on my high school graduation and cringe. I didn't know how to do my hair or makeup, so my face looks splotchy and my hair stringy with grease. The dress I'm wearing is awful...

I refuse to look back on my college graduation with the same disdain. I WILL look good in my pictures. That starts with losing weight. I weighed in at 127.4lbs this morning and I will weigh in at 118 or less on the morning of graduation. I have already lost 3lbs in 3 days of restricting and exercising, so I really think I can do it. Haven't been dealing with much hunger or cravings either.

I WILL do this. The only person that can make me fail is myself. I am in control.

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 31 06:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpp6o/weekly_emotional_support_march_31_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] I have been bad this week again
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 05:57:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpoox/i_have_been_bad_this_week_again/
---
But I haven't gained any or much weight yet. I don't know why or if it's suddenly gonna be there but after binging on fucking reeses pieces and butter flavored pretzels(the whole bag) everyday while getting fucked has got to have some impact. I've fallen off the wagon food and drink wise. I punished myself with laxatives. My stupid fat ass is still hungry this morning. I'm going to drink as much water as possible and tell my lardy stomach to fuck off. Hopefully I'll get set straight.

[Goal] I am now more than 10 kg
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 31 04:00:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpdcb/i_am_now_more_than_10_kg/
---
away from my heighest weight. 10 kg, I still look so fat, God, I must've looked like a whale before.

Underweight BMI here I come, 2 kg away

[Goal] Small goal!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 31 03:49:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpcag/small_goal/
---
The scale said 115 today! It's the last day of my fast so I know once I eat something again it'll go back up a little but this was one of my mini goals and I said I'd reward myself. I was thinking maybe a memebox set with some cute beauty products? One of the sale ones though, they are expensive. Or maybe maangchi's cookbook? It's hard to think of rewards that aren't food, like as a child we are given candy if we are well behaved. Maybe that's part of what gives people strange relationships as food. From a child, for some people at least, candy or sweets were a reward and vegetables were like a punishment - "Eat your vegetables or no tv."
I've gone off on a tangent, but...

I really liked fasting and didn't feel hungry after the first 24 hours, just felt really comfortable and relaxed. I planned on eating today at 7 pm but I might just drag this on for a bit longer, either that or some real right restricting.

Thank you everybody for your support!

[Rant/Rave] Don't want to abuse my (old) prescription meds, but damn did they make me lose weight :/
/u/coffee4kate [5'8'' | 152 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 22:38:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cojti/dont_want_to_abuse_my_old_prescription_meds_but/
---
We just watched a 30min video/documentary in class today about drug abuse, and now I feel even worse about wanting to start taking some of my old vyvanse pills again just to lose weight :( Like don't worry, they were prescribed to me for my ADHD, I used them exactly as directed, but they gave me some heart rate issues so I switched to Concerta a year ago, but Vyvanse made the pounds melt off while Concerta doesn't do much of any appetite supression for me and I've put on 15lbs in the last year. I still have a bottle of Vyvanse in my cupboard and it's so tempting to want to take them and drop some easy pounds but I don't want to form an addictive habit! Agh!!

[Rant/Rave] Premature concern from roommates
/u/goodbyetumtum [5'5 | 161.2 | 27.14 | -28.8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 22:17:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cohdk/premature_concern_from_roommates/
---
My roommates have been keeping an eye on me lately and have been questioning my actions. They've been asking me if I've eaten certain meals and what exactly I've had to eat. They have also started noticing that I go to the gym twice a day. For my first run, I try to go early in the morning before they wake up, but I guess I've been getting sloppy. I just feel so stressed out because I am very technically overweight (in my opinion obese). So for the sake of my own health, I NEED to lose weight. I don't understand why they're paying such close attention to me! It's like they want to sabotage my progress before it even began :(

[Rant/Rave] I love counting my ribs
/u/fiddlyduck [5'0 | 95 | 19.54 | -30.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 21:48:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4codvj/i_love_counting_my_ribs/
---
When I was at my lowest weight (93), I could easily count my ribs. I gained three and a half pounds since then and it's a bit harder to count them now. If I suck my stomach in, I can definitely see each individual bone.

Also, I love my collarbones. They're so...sensual. I tap them when I'm thinking sometimes and it freaks my friends out a little haha.

Edit: sorry, I'm on mobile. Will flair when I get to a computer.

[Intro] Looks like I'm sticking around. Hi.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:59:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co7lc/looks_like_im_sticking_around_hi/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Fasting Diary: day one without and as a vegan
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:31:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co3xv/fasting_diary_day_one_without_and_as_a_vegan/
---
Trying this again because it gives me something to aim for. I feel alone in this. I recently decided to go vegan again after many haphazard instances. I want to be vegan for ethical reasons but also because i know my worst trigger foods aren't vegan. It is a challenge to eat more raw and natural things when i do choose to eat. I want to try and establish a fast and restriction pattern. This is my choice. I know i can fast up to three or four days before i need to eat. I wanted to fast from monday to friday but i binged yesterday. It has almost been 24 hours since my last binge so I am taking the time to collect my thoughts.

I am trying to take my mind to other places and remain out of the kitchen. A place i feel uneasy being in. I have had my share of coffee, tea and diet coke today. I should feel worst about diet coke but the carbonation makes me feel more full. It takes me back to when i fasted and restricted and worked out excessively in highschool and got down to 130lbs my lowest weight which for a guy is pretty low i guess for my height anyway. I wish i could go back there but that is 60lbs away. Maybe some day if i can learn to eat again.

I wish i could be more open with my girlfriend about wanting to fast and just eat less. We have both been trying to eat less but i don't think she is as disordered as i am. She did ballet as a little girl and knew the pressure but never struggled to the extent i did. She loves me even though i feel fucked up and worthless. She said she would love me no matter what my weight is but i truly want to be beautiful for her.

I want others to be jealous of her for having me. I want people to envy me or to want to be me or to think i am good looking for once in my life. It consumes me and drives me mad. I commit to ideas of fasting and restricting then in instances i eat too much and it has been a real problem lately. I feel uncomfortable in my own body.

I wish i could feel my ribs like i used to. I wish i could fit into jeans I have in the back of my closet. I wish i could tuck in my shirts without an unsightly male muffin top in my lower back and my stomach. I want to be thin. I want to be delicate.

Several people have told me to try incrementally eating less and it is something i am willing to work on but i feel like fasting drives me. I feel euphoric from fasting and like it quickens the process. I want to fast until I can get to a low enough weight where i can be satisfied losing a pound or two a week from eating regularly. I will fast until that point and try to cycle fasting and restricting. I know my mind can over come the urges of my body.

I feel like being vegan is a difficulty I am open to. I can eschew the foods i used to derive comfort and pleasure from for others which might be healthier choices. I dont know a single overweight vegan and i know at least a dozen. I want to try and eat more fruits instead of sweets and more veggies instead of carbs and breads. I think between trying to dial back my portions and omitting things that aren't vegan I am setting myself up for success over failure.

I feel weak right now but I know the moment will pass. When the clock hits 8:00pm it will have been a whole day and I will be one day the richer in my fast.

I worry the most about tomorrow how i will keep this going. I need to keep myself busy and out of the house and especially the kitchen. I am supposed to see a movie tomorrow night but until then I am left to my own devices. I don't trust myself when i am alone. I binge the most when I am alone. I know if i can make it through one day i can make it through another and saturday and sunday i will have to eat but i can go to the gym and burn off some of what i will be eating.

Thank you to anyone who reads my posts. I feel so alone in this and appreciate the support from all you wonderful and beautiful strangers.

-P

[Help] Is there a tool like this?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:19:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co284/is_there_a_tool_like_this/
---
I'd love to see a website where you put in your height/weight/gender and a desired amount of calories to burn and it spits out the amounts of time for different exercises that will burn that number of calories.

[Help] Concerned about how my ED is affecting me! Ahh!
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:16:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co1uc/concerned_about_how_my_ed_is_affecting_me_ahh/
---
[No flair, on mobile]
Hi everyone, so in the past couple of months I've dropped 30 lbs from restricting and binging and purging (mostly restricting). I've noticed that now that I've lost more than 30 lbs, my hair is starting to fall out wayyy more than ever before. I just went on a 48 hour fast and holy dick did it take a toll on me. For a week prior I had been eating completely vegan and under 500. And then bam, nothing for two days. I was hit with feeling like I was going to pass out at any second coupled with extreme fatigue, and when I didn't feel that way, I was energetic. I had chest pains too. My heart started to beat so hard that it hurt. I took a hot bath to try to sweat out the water weight and I ended up almost fainting in the tub. Something about the heat and hunger even AFTER breaking my fast with a 700 kcal meal. I'm woozy as fuck. The one thing I'm going to try to do is eat a little breakfast in the morning (carrots and hummus) with tea. Hopefully it gets better.



Has this happened to anyone else on here? Is this a normal thing for people with EDs? What are your suggestions, is this a very bad sign that I should take note of? Thank you for your help in advance.

[Tip] Help a charity while you run!!
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:05:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co0i8/help_a_charity_while_you_run/
---
There's this awesome app called Charity Miles which tracks your running; they donate money to a charity of your choice depending on how much you exercise! You also can use it just by walking, so if you are a student and walk around campus a lot or have a job that involves a lot of moving about, you can donate to charity the entire time :)

There are lots of charities to choose from, and I find it super motivating to keep going to give more!

[Help] Question about ABC?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 19:39:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnwy2/question_about_abc/
---
Is it bad to go (way) under the cals you're supposed to have on a certain day? Like, does it not work? So if its an 800 day and I do lets say 600 vs 400 vs 200, does that affect it? Specifically, would that affect it in a negative way?

[Help] Am I making up excuses or being reasonable?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 19:36:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnwkc/am_i_making_up_excuses_or_being_reasonable/
---
My weight has been both much higher and quite a bit lower than right now. When I was smaller, I would get a lot of cardiovascular from running. When I tried to get back into running at a higher weight, it was all bad. My joints aren't all that sturdy and I easily jammed my ankles.

So originally I told myself that once I got back down to my first goal weight, I would incorporate more cardio. It's about 15 lbs away. But I also don't want to end up being a little bitch and using the fear of hurting my ankles and knees as an excuse to not go jogging. Maybe I should try when I hit a BMI of 25? I'm just so afraid of hurting my stupid shit joints.

Anyone with similar stats take up running too early and regret it?

I'm also a little freaked out about protein. I don't know how in the fuck someone eats that much protein!! 36g? I'm lucky to get 12 a day. I don't like most meat, and tofu is full of phytoesteogens, so... :/ Lactose intolerant too. I won some sort of terrible lottery.

[Help] Hair questions help :(
/u/wearingmyfatpants
Created: Wed Mar 30 19:27:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnv98/hair_questions_help/
---
Short intro; been a secret EDNOS since I can remember, and had some bad general health problems outside of my control which made it hard to gain weight. Ballooned ridiculously after having a kid due to the "treat yo'self" mentality that new mom's are encouraged to be a part of. Realized how gross I was and have lost almost 40 lbs putting me into 21 bmi and still going strong!
But really I don't wanna do much of an intro cuz I'm self conscious and feel like a total fraud who doesn't deserve to belong :(

Anyway, even though I'm not even close to underweight I'm having some shitty side effects to the fasting and restrictions I've been doing the last ~8 months.

My nails are thinner and more brittle...
My skin is a bit papery, but lotion in 2x a day seems to fix this as well as keeping up with water intake.
Feeling cold and achey more than usual.
Hard time hiding my fasting from the other 4 people I live with :(


But the MAIN concern I have is my hair....I used to have such thick curly hair that it was a damn inconvenience and I couldn't do many hairstyles cuz there was just too much of it D:
But I have been losing SO SO much of it, I have about a quarter of the hair I used to have...and really it's not super noticeable to anyone but me. But I *keep* losing...and chunk every time I brush it and another every time I wash it D:
I've been freaking out for awhile over this.

On another note I *REALLY* want to dye a section of my hair platinum blond, and then dye that section pink...I've wanted this *so* bad, and for *so* long...
I'm just worried that with already having massive hair loss the section I dye will all fall out and I'll be a hideous freak who has to wear a hat for two years D,:

The tiny silver lining is that the hair I DO have seems pretty healthy; lustrous, shiny, not brittle or split ends or dryness....I guess I got that going for me?


Does anyone have any advice or experience with this?

[Rant/Rave] I didn't do that great or that bad
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 19:19:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnu8n/i_didnt_do_that_great_or_that_bad/
---
Alcohol is still a my very beloved vice. It's hard to fight it. Especially since I've atleast managed to wait until 8 to drink. However the food...yeah I fucked up. I was hungry today and weak. I paced a lot. I shouldn't have eaten that goddamn biscuit barn biscuit. I swear they are the largest biscuits in all of georgia. And it had cheese and mother fucking egg and bacon on it. Then I ate pretzles with my sandwich (which i usually wouldnt even have) llike an idiot. Goddammit. I blew it again. Tonight I'm having my drink. It's wierd I can't wait for tmrw to start....baby goes to school and I go to the gym and I get to be at work till 3. Hopefully will restrain my fucking self. I'll be begging for 8 to come around again....i hate myself for that. My alone time. I need to behave and restrict. Tmrw will be over before I know it. I can't wait. I can't wait for everyday to be over. That's fucked up isn't it? Hopefully I don't feel this way forever. I can feel time slipping away. My age doesn't matter. I don't matter. I'm tired and can't sleep. I'm a failure and I just want to drink and sleep and I guess eat like a pig. I can't wait for the days to end.

[Rant/Rave] Updated my lair weight, but forgot my BMI! Semi-pleased.
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 18:49:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnqa6/updated_my_lair_weight_but_forgot_my_bmi/
---
Sorry I'm posting a lot, I'm just having a just really obsessive day today. I just got around to updating my flair from 160 to 157, and forgot to change that my BMI went from 27.0 to 26.53. It's always nice to see it go down even half a point. Unfortunately I still have 12 lbs down to go until I make it do not being classified as "Overweight". I just feel so vexed every time I go to the doctor and they call me overweight. Even though I've only really started since the beginning of the month, I can already tell the 7 lbs went away just from the poofiness of my stomach. Can't wait for more to go! I have a long way to go until 130 (first major GW)

[Discussion] PSA: Unwanted attention and harassment
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 18:48:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnq4e/psa_unwanted_attention_and_harassment/
---
As you may be aware, every now and then someone will stumble across our community one way or another and try to cast /r/proED in a negative light. Many people are quick to judge and never realize that we are a place for love and support.

**Please continue to keep our sub a safe place by reporting comments and posts that break our rules, as listed in the sidebar.**

If you receive any PMs that make you unsafe, please *block the sender.* We may ban offenders from /r/proED but they will still be able to message you. Report anyone who harasses you via PM to Reddit Admin.

[Rant/Rave] Home Alone (an abstract poem)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Wed Mar 30 18:23:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnmlo/home_alone_an_abstract_poem/
---
No one is here but me, sitting solemnly waiting for the day to end.
hours tick by from minutes, from seconds, waiting for it all to stop,

The compulsion digs and tears at my mind telling me, it's not enough, the voice that criticizes and divides cuts so rough into soft weakened esteem,

I dream of innocence, bites without regret, meals without feeling defeated, I sit and enduring the outward silence. Seconds ticking to minutes, forming hours. I wish i could sleep. I can't rest only endure the agony of consciousness.

Blissful thoughts of some days and moments when i can care less about each morsel or bite, instead only fear and disgust without delight, weighing down like a wet blanket or a sweats restricting the skin, itchy and scratchy to the touch, so savagely unavoidable.

key strokes, key boards, distractions for the time being, prolonging the inevitable binge that would follow as it always has. Lurking in the back of the mind. Just a bite, just one little bite it says.

It is never just one, It is the end of the new beginning. A loss for every gain, A gain on top of loss, lost in the pile of flesh I have become, Severed from my own control. I wait. I listen to the growling, praising it. I want more. I want to be less.

Home alone, without anyone else, just dream of eventual health, sane thoughts and delight instead of perpetual fear going into the night.

[Tip] PSA: if you binge and eat a lot of fatty food, eat pickles to help neutralize your stomach and make you feel a bit better hopefully.
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 18:18:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnlwz/psa_if_you_binge_and_eat_a_lot_of_fatty_food_eat/
---
Coming from your spy in fine dining restaurant cooking, if you binge on lots of fatty food, eating something acidic will make you feel better. Pickles, sauerkraut, pickled vegetables of all sorts would help out a lot. When I make desserts for specials and stuff when I make a cheesecake or something I always serve with with a little lightly pickled fruit to balance the dish. Food chemistry is fun! Fermented foods are also low in calories and finding ones you like best is fun, but they are super great for your digestive system.



Sorry on mobile so no flair :(

[Rant/Rave] I am a fat sack of shit
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:56:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cniqy/i_am_a_fat_sack_of_shit/
---
So the photos from my lingerie shoot will be ready for a viewing. The ones I posted my selfies from.

My fiancé decided he'd rather spend time with his hobby instead of coming to see them.

Asked my best friend and they don't want to, probably because he'd get embarrassed at anyone thinking he was with me.

I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm an embarrassment. Who the fuck was I kidding thinking I could be sexy? Not even sure I'll go myself. Going alone and having to explain why I have no one.

I'm fucking pathetic. Going on a fast until I can be less of a fucking show.

[Intro] Well, I've been looking through this subreddit for a few days...
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:25:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnefd/well_ive_been_looking_through_this_subreddit_for/
---
...And I've finally decided to make an account and join you guys! So, hi. Not really sure what else to write here right now but I did want to say hello since it seems like a fair amount of you do know each other/make friends on here. I'm looking forward to connecting with you guys!

[Rant/Rave] Feeling so impatient...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:19:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cndmc/feeling_so_impatient/
---
Ugh... I know it's important to be patient when it comes to weight loss, but is there a better way to cope with the nagging urge to hve the weight gone now.

I wish so fucking hard that I was skinny now even though I know it's going to take weeks. Arrggh...

[Discussion] What's the weirdest thing you eat?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:13:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cncoi/whats_the_weirdest_thing_you_eat/
---
Just had a big mug of Old Bay dissolved in hot water because it's freezing in my house and lately I have been craving all the salt on earth. Took me a minute to realize how bizarre that must look to others. And sometimes when I need a reset I'll make a huge pot of vegetable stuff - carrots, celery, onion, maybe a tomato, cauliflower puréed in a lot of water and cooked long enough to taste not raw, then puréed more - and eat/drink mugs of it with different spices and stuff.



[Help] Help with getting help..
/u/justwanttolikemyself [5'1" | 101 | -43lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:10:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cncc2/help_with_getting_help/
---
So my teacher at school approached me a few weeks ago and wanted to talk to me about something, turned out her and a few other members of staff were worried about me and suspected eating problems. We've had a few more discussions since then and everything seems to be going in the direction of me seeking genuine help (therapy of some sort) and telling my parents, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be like this, it's so stressful and painful, physically and mentally draining, but there are so many reasons I don't want help. I'm not even underweight, it seems ridiculous to get help, false even? Will anyone take me seriously? I don't know what to do i'm too fat for help, I want to lose more weight but I also want to feel better. I'm so torn.. If I tell my parents and seek help am I going to end up regretting it? Does that mean the total end of my weight loss? Advice anyone??

[Goal] 5'4.25", 94.8 lbs, BMI 16.43. Starting to like changes to my back...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:00:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnasb/5425_948_lbs_bmi_1643_starting_to_like_changes_to/
---
https://i.imgur.com/MjD8ehp.jpg

[Intro] New
/u/JekllyLovesHyde [5'6'' | 112.4| 18.22 | -4 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 16:56:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cna8t/new/
---
Hey, I've lurked for awhile so thought it was time to introduce myself. I've had disordered eating for years and managed to stay at around 95-98lbs for all of high school and some of university. After starting new medication the weight just piled on and I'm looking to get back to my previous low weight.

[Discussion] I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner....
/u/Miellix [5'5.5" | 154lbs | 25.2 | -4lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 16:42:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cn853/i_asked_my_husband_what_he_wanted_for_dinner/
---
...and he said "cereal"!
I love fend-for-yourself night! I can get away with eating almost nothing.

[Intro] Thought I'd finally introduce myself after 4 months of lurking!
/u/operaoxide [5'8" | 187.9 | 28.6 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 15:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmyci/thought_id_finally_introduce_myself_after_4/
---
Hey guys, just thought I'd make a quick intro post after I've been lurking so long. I'm 17 going on 18 from Canada. This is my alt account because my sister knows my main account. I don't have my stats displayed because I am genuinely embarrassed of them, especially because I am overweight and I feel like I don't really belong here because of that. I struggled with BED most of my childhood and then lost around 40lbs by restricting. I felt amazing, but then I started high school and my parents divorced three years ago and I bounced backed to exactly where I was before I lost weight. I'd really really love to get back to where I was and beyond.

Sorry for the rambles. Hope you guys are having a nice day :) See you around

[Thinspo] Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 15:21:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmvlq/nothing_tastes_as_good_as_skinny_feels/
---
http://imgur.com/a/zez6F

[Discussion] Ask a pharmacy technician anything.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 30 15:10:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmtsj/ask_a_pharmacy_technician_anything/
---
I worked as a pharmacy technician at a large chain for about a year and got my certification and everything. I know people have a bunch of questions about EC stacks/reactions/do we judge you when you check out bronkaid/etc. feel free to ask me anything you want!

[Rant/Rave] (ง'̀-'́)ง
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 30 15:04:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmsyg/งง/
---
my period is coming up soon and it can fight me. the bloat is real. i am craving a pickle sandwich (?). i will not eat today! aunt flo will not win this time. i'm gonna watch mad men on netflix and look at thinspo until my eyes bleed. i cried yesterday because i love my dog so much, i wish the hormones would cool it.

[Help] People who are the primary cooks in the house...seeking advice.
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 14:46:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmpyc/people_who_are_the_primary_cooks_in_the/
---
Hi. So, I live with my SO and he's great. Super great and really supportive of me. But I can't very well just not eat because we live together and he loves me and knows about my issues and would notice the f*** out of me literally not eating. Right now I'm unemployed so I don't eat all day and then when he comes home I know I have to cook and eat dinner. To try and maintain my sense of control, I cook everything we eat (much to his sadness. He loves to cook too). My problem is that whereas I'm comfortable eating a dinner that's like...200calories, he is not. Sometimes I get away with really low-cal things, like a recipe from Skinnytaste or I make breakfast for dinner but generally he's hungry after work and wants an actual dinner. My god do you even know how many calories are in a potato!!!!!! I don't know what to do. I push my food around and eat less than half, it doesn't matter, he notices more often than not and I don't want to have a mental breakdown because he wants something heavy or creamy for dinner. I always pile on the veggies and he loves when we try vegan and vegetarian recipes but he's a normal human who sometimes wants a burger or chili or like steak and potatoes. I can't. I cannot deal with this.

So, I guess I'm asking other people on here who are primary cooks in their house (partners, spouses, and parents I guess), what do you cook for dinner and how do you eat it? Like, do you make a main but you only have a salad? Do you just take a very small portion and hope they don't notice? What?! Do I just need to accept that sometimes we eat very little and sometimes he wants to order pizza? Any advice anyone can offer would be so helpful.

[Help] Can't get past LW?
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 14:39:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmov7/cant_get_past_lw/
---
My LW is the one I'm at now- 143 lbs. I find this WAY TOO HIGH, but I can't seem to get past it. Every time I've got to that weight in the past, I always go back up in a week or so. Help anyone?

[Help] So has anyone experienced halitosis?
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Wed Mar 30 14:32:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmnss/so_has_anyone_experienced_halitosis/
---
Or aka bad breath? One of my worst fears and biggest pet peeves is bad breat, my my mom said the other day my breath smelt really bad... which is weird because I take care of my mouth very well. She said ts called halitosis and it's because I'm on a "diet". So I Google it and apperently if you don't eat carbs you have a side effect which gives you horrible breath, no matter how much you brush or floss it's just what happens.

Now I have this huge fear of talking directly to people or having people get to close to my face. :/

I had no idea until it was pointed out to me. :/ does anyone have this issue?

[Rant/Rave] Bread isn't even GOOD.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 30 14:22:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmm9e/bread_isnt_even_good/
---
but i still crave it like no other. i could literally eat 3 loaves of just bread in one sitting. it'd just plain bread tho? like most people crave things with actual taste. also it's basically nothing nutrition wise but it is SO calorie dense it's insane. why can't i crave lettuce

[Discussion] Anyone from MySpace
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 13:52:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmhce/anyone_from_myspace/
---
Anybody part of the ED MySpace community from ~10 years ago? What was your username?

[Goal] I finally broke 90!
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 13:31:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmdt0/i_finally_broke_90/
---
http://i.imgur.com/pArEwPD.jpg?1

[Rant/Rave] My step-sister is SO NEGATIVE about my weight loss I need to rant
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 13:12:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmahp/my_stepsister_is_so_negative_about_my_weight_loss/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] So I got my test results back...
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5| 109 | 20.24 | -23lb | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 13:06:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cm9jw/so_i_got_my_test_results_back/
---
I'm only mildly anemic!! Everything else (electrolyte, glucose, celiacs) was fine! Unfortunately, the doctor was chastising me for losing three pounds in a week. I tried to explain to her that I had eaten before being weighed last time and I didn't this time (not a total lie, but also doesn't count for heavy restriction the entire week and fasting at least two of the days). She told me that my regular meals weren't enough and that I needed to come back in a few weeks to make sure I haven't lost any more weight which lol I am totally going to do so I'm gonna try not to go back.

This really freaked me out so of course at lunch I ate a cup of spinach, a possibly more than a cup of raw broccoli, 1/2 cup half strawberry/half plain nonfat greek yogurt with a little flax seed, and possibly a cup of roasted edamame. I keep looking at my measuring cups to try and determine how much I ate (this was at the dining hall so I couldn't measure) and thinking the worst. This is the most I've eaten in one sitting in weeks and my stomach was so bloated I thought I was going to vomit. I'm definitely not eating the rest of the day and maybe not tomorrow too...

I updated my flair because I'm so stoked to be under 110, even though I was weighed with water/tea in my system AND my shoes were on!! I think I will be able to weigh myself this weekend when I go home so I can get my true weight.

[Rant/Rave] TIL painting is difficult!
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 12:57:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cm83p/til_painting_is_difficult/
---
First off I'm on mobile, so no flair, sorry.
Finally have some time to myself, since the bf is gone from yesterday afternoon to Friday night. I'm painting my bedroom a dark blue green called Tahitian Dream, turning into my Tahitian nightmare! Who knew painting walls was hard to do evenly? I'm so out of shape it hurts to hold my roller up and down for too long, especially painting the ceiling. At least I've realized that since I really started back on the ED train on March 3, I've gone from 162 to 155.5, not too shabby considering I've had some off days. When I hit 155 for at least 2 days in a row, I'm going to reward myself with building my first jarrarium with a Marimo ball (super cute algae ball). Also since I stopped working 7 days a week I don't go out to eat anymore and all one of my cats wand to do is hug me all day. It's nice being loved by my little orange ball of happiness! Just wanted to rant.

[Tip] Favorite savory/honestly-it's-just-salty meal
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 12:39:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cm4wp/favorite_savoryhonestlyitsjustsalty_meal/
---
http://imgur.com/a/1ovNW

So it's a whole cucumber, because they're hella low calorie and all it is is pan fried in low calorie butter (50cal per tbspn) with as much salt as I feel like.

That bowl was 79 calories. 361g of cucumber and half a tbspn of butter. It will keep me full for a very very long time and I was able to get my salty craving taken care of

[Rant/Rave] I'm so proud of myself :)
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 12:24:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cm2bu/im_so_proud_of_myself/
---
Today has been absolutely fantastic! First, I had a miserable week last week of godawful binges, around 3. But today, after 2 very heavy days of restriction (800ish calories between the two days, with a TDEE of around 2100-2300), I weighed in at 136.2, which is my real LW (i consider 133 to be my fake low weight because it was like....one time)

So I started today off very happily. I restrict with an element of intermittent fasting as well. I try not to start eating because it's very very very very difficult for me to stop. My first amazing success of the day was saying no to my absolute favorite restaurant. My brain, being the rude ass that it is was like "great job on the 136....know what would complement that? your favorite meal". But instead of walking the two minutes to go there, I just kept walking farther and farther away/somewhat in circles (think around a few blocks). So not only did I say no, I also walked for an extra 15 minutes. It adds up.

My second success for today was, after making myself lunch (360g of cucumber cooked with .5 tbspn of low cal butter + 109g banana), I sat there and really, really really wanted to eat the food I had planned for 6 hours from now (aka what normal people call dinner). But I knew if I did that, I would be super super hungry then and would most likely go off plan and binge. I must have sat there staring at the bowl for 15 minutes, just fighting it out in my head before going into the other room to write this up.

My third success for the day will only happen once I go to bed. If I continue with this positivity and stay within my calorie goals, I will have made my first day after therapy without binging. What tends to happen is that I'll go to the therapist, convince her and myself that I'm a totally healthy, functioning adult, then I'll leave and want to live up to that, so I'll tell myself it's ok to have 1500 calories, which it totally is. The thing is that it ends up triggering a binge and the 1500 becomes 4000. I don't want to do that today. So I wont.

I just really wanted to share with you. The first two food related successes are completely new to me. They involve a mental fortitude that I previously hadn't seen in myself and I'm really proud of me :)

[Rant/Rave] Why it irritates me when people tell me I'm naturally skinny
/u/FredMist [5'9.5" | 112 lbs | 15.9 | -11 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 30 11:40:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4clutk/why_it_irritates_me_when_people_tell_me_im/
---
When people tell me I'm naturally skinny https://imgur.com/bIO6HT9

I used to think I was naturally skinny too. I used to overestimate what I ate and I thought I ate 2300~2800 a day because I had no idea what a cup of rice looked like or what 3oz of fish looked like.

After feeling thigh rub for the first time in my life when I was 33 I freaked out and got a food scale and some measuring cups and spoons. I realized I've always been skinny because I was very active and because I never ate more than I needed to calorie wise. I only gained weight in the last five years because I stopped exercising and diet changed.

I'm headed back toward a more muscular and leaner body. It didn't use to bother me when people told me I'm lucky because of my fast metabolism because I believed it too. It bothers me now because it took work to relearn how to eat correctly and not overeat.

[Tip] PSYLLIUM HUSK IS THE FUCKING SHIT!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 11:31:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4clt9v/psyllium_husk_is_the_fucking_shit/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Now THIS is a doughnut I wouldn't feel guilty eating!
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 113.8lbs | 17.05 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 10:19:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4clhha/now_this_is_a_doughnut_i_wouldnt_feel_guilty/
---
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154752427107814&id=646647813

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 30 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4clen0/daily_food_diary_march_30_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 30, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] I'm coffee/tea fasting today.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 08:30:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ckzxv/im_coffeetea_fasting_today/
---
On Monday I was 123.4. Yesterday I was 123.4. Today I'm 123.4!!!! UGH!!!

I wasn't going to fast because it's too difficult when I have classes, but one of my classes got cancelled today meaning I only have one. So my one class today is history of rock and roll, aka the easiest class ever, so I don't really have to use my brain or pay attention.

Gah. It stresses me out so much. I can see that I'm getting skinnier in the mirror, but the scale won't show me :( I'm so obsessed with numbers. Looking thinner isn't enough. I need to have data to back it up.

How have you guys overcome plateaus?

[Rant/Rave] Why do people think it's okay to push food on others!? And why is gluttony more acceptable than healthy eating?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 07:48:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cktsw/why_do_people_think_its_okay_to_push_food_on/
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[deleted]

[Thinspo] Progress pics. A bit more rib and thigh gap, but it's only been a couple days so nothing major.
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 07:45:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cktcn/progress_pics_a_bit_more_rib_and_thigh_gap_but/
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https://imgur.com/a/5D2WY

[Rant/Rave] SO CLOSE
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 05:29:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ckcnw/so_close/
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[deleted]

[Intro] Introduction - Hey
/u/l-ostcaus-e [5ft 6| Fattest of the Fats | F | GW 1: - 15lbs | UGW: 99lbs]
Created: Wed Mar 30 04:38:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ck7qe/introduction_hey/
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I guess this is a good as time as any to introduce myself.

I'm mid 20s, from the UK, studying on a Masters course. I've struggled with disordered eating for years now but never really lost much weight from it because I yo-yo'd between binging and restricting so much. I moved back to uni at the start of the year and I have found that with the stress of it all the restricting has majorly increasing and now I'm working out a lot more too so hopefully I should start hitting goal weights soon. I'm not sure what else to say...?

[Thinspo] Cute outfits on small girls
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 04:34:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ck7ar/cute_outfits_on_small_girls/
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http://imgur.com/a/j8Wug

[Rant/Rave] Cold :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 04:32:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ck731/cold/
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How do you deal with being cold all the time?

Even in when I lived in Florida I felt like I was constantly freezing, buildings were always blasting the ac. Now here in Europe it's actually cold all the time, even when bundled up next to the radiator I'm still freezing. I'm ~40 hours into a fast, so maybe that's increasing the effect... But I'm sitting on a radiator right now wearing fleece tights under my pants, two sweaters and my coat and still feel like an ice sculpture.

[Help] How do you get over food wastage?
/u/mailmesnails [160cm | 50.6kg | 19.8 | -2.4kg | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 03:58:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ck3wr/how_do_you_get_over_food_wastage/
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I grew up being told to not waste food and I feel so bad when my plate isn't clean or if leftovers aren't eaten. That's obviously no good, but I can't get over the idea that wasting food is wrong. Right now, I have a whole pizza leftover from lunch :( :(

[Tip] Zero calorie sodas/seltzers
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Wed Mar 30 01:24:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjrax/zero_calorie_sodasseltzers/
---
Have you guys tried Sparkling Ice or flavored Perrier? I am not really a soda drinker but sometimes I want something other than water or coffee and I tried some of the sparkling ice sodas and a few of them are really good! No calories and really sweet! And the Perrier flavors are not sweet at all but still give that bubbly sensation that I want at times. Just thought I'd share with y'all :) stay free lovelies!

[Rant/Rave] Food poisoning
/u/thininsp
Created: Wed Mar 30 01:10:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjq7w/food_poisoning/
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So I have food poisoning. I had fasted yesterday and most of today. Around 12:30 I ate a few fries my kid had left over and felt like an asshole. I decided to just go ahead and eat something real. I had lettuce with a scoop of cottage cheese on it. I thought the cottage cheese looked funny but I was still upset about the fries and preoccupied. Fast forward about 5 hours. I start getting nauseous and wind up with vomiting and diarrhea and a massive headache and full body chills. I threw up all of the lettuce and cottage cheese which you would think after 5+ hours wouldn't be in my stomach any more. It's 3am and I just finished another round in the bathroom. I have to be on the toilet with a bucket in front of me. I can't even keep water down.

How fucked up is it that all I can think of is "I wonder how much weight I'm losing"...

My husband threw out the cottage cheese and said it was all weird and yellow, so definitely bad. I hope I feel better and can get some sleep.

[Discussion] Hiding weight loss
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 30 00:24:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjm30/hiding_weight_loss/
---
My main challenge in getting back to my goal is my family. They know about my ED because I was hospitalized and if I start losing weigh they'll force me back.

What do you do to hide the loss?

[Rant/Rave] Fuck my miserable failure of a life.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Mar 29 22:48:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjcdh/fuck_my_miserable_failure_of_a_life/
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It is a sign of health to be in good shape or to be thin. I have failed myself at this. I keep compulsively binging and can't keep myself from it. It has driven my weight up a lot in the past few months and i can barely go a day or two without binging. It is so difficult. Even restricting to a reasonable amount like below 1000 or at 1000 is difficult i just can't do it.

I dream of what it will be like to have control because I just don't have it. I feel like i am slowing killing myself and i want to just be out of my miserable. All of the damage i have done to my body can't be undone as quickly as i caused it. It will take months maybe even the rest of the year to get back to 160 or below and i just feel inpatient.

Honest i don't even know if my posts get read on here. I am just talking in the wind. If i killed myself no one would notice besides maybe my family who would find my unconscious body lying there. I don't know how i continue. I don't know how i keep doing this to myself. I was almost to a full day of a fasting and then it happened i went up stairs to have a snack that turned into a binge. I fucking binged. (pardon the language) I have no control and i hate it. I want to feel in control of my own body but i feel controlled by food. Therapy and outpatient isn't helping.

They are trying to mend a relationship that is broken between food and i don't want a relationship with food. I want to be bigger than food and have the power and strength to say no to too much. I want to feel like i am in control of myself and not being controlled by my thoughts of compulsions to eat too much.

I will pick up the pieces of my fractured attempted and try again as i always do. three days. three days without and then i will restrict for two days then go another three to four days then restrict again. I am trying to figure out what i can eat and be within a good range and not binge. I don't know how else to keep myself in control then to think and to keep my body at bay. My body is my enemy.

[Rant/Rave] Lower belly fat is the bane of my existence
/u/fiddlyduck [5'0 | 95 | 19.54 | -30.5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 22:47:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjc9v/lower_belly_fat_is_the_bane_of_my_existence/
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[removed]

[Rant/Rave] i hate myself so much
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 22:11:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cj89w/i_hate_myself_so_much/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Summer Wine
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 21:08:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cj02d/summer_wine/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Lololol I just realized you can't spell hate without
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 20:40:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ciw9e/lololol_i_just_realized_you_cant_spell_hate/
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ate.


Some dark humor for ya.

Also, incase anyone was wondering about that Ben and Jerry's binge post...I ate it. And then binged the whole next day (yesterday) but today I'M BACK AT IT. Restricted, ate nutritionally dense foods, attended kickboxing, and went to the gym.

Binge phases are ALWAYS breakable, don't give up <3

[Rant/Rave] Semi fasting day one day. Not perfect, but done.
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 20:12:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cis8u/semi_fasting_day_one_day_not_perfect_but_done/
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* Breakfast: coffee (15 calories)
HWC (75 calories)
total: 90 calories

* Dinner: wine: 513 calories
total: 513
* Snack: pepperoni: (140)
whipped cream cheese: (50 calories)
total: 190

* Total: 793

I also ran just over 4 miles today so I probably netted about: 316.

I unexpectedly hung out with my (5 ft even; well over 250 pound) SIL today. Totally messed up my plans. Could have been way worse though.

Edit: Forgot formatting was a thing. Remember those 500+ calories of wine?

[Discussion] Starting a 10 day water fast tomorrow. What is the longest you have gone without food?
/u/candywife_ [66in | 115 | 18.6 | -18 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 20:07:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cirih/starting_a_10_day_water_fast_tomorrow_what_is_the/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cirih/starting_a_10_day_water_fast_tomorrow_what_is_the/

[Rant/Rave] Where do i go from here?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Mar 29 20:07:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ciri3/where_do_i_go_from_here/
---
I tried fast last week and it ended with a binge. I am fasting again hoping to lose a couple pounds and allow my stomach to shrink a little so i might eat less. I was in Portland over the weekend and besides eating too much and writing it off because "i was on vacation" i redicovered my love for vegan food. I ate a lot of delicious vegan food and it inspired me to try veganism again.

my plan from here is to try and be vegan for at least the next month (from april to may) and to restrict and fast in an alternating pattern. I am doing my research and trying to prep myself for when i do need to eat. It will be on weekends and maybe some times during the week i will try and restrict to under 1000 calories. I am compiling a list of safe vegan foods like fruits and raw veggies and also stuff i can buy that is preportions or tougher to binge on. I feel ready to take more control of myself and my weight. I have been so out of control and only suffered because i can't get a grip.

I have binged myself up to 190lbs now i was 160 just a month or so ago so i feel like i failed myself but i am convinced with some hard work and discipline I can reclaim my body and get back to where i was. I want to be in control. I want to be proud of my body. I want to feel pretty and attractive so i can go back worrying about other things in my life like school and work but things have been so out of control. My school schedule for the next quarter will have me out of the house around dinner time so i can skip a couple meals here and there and go to the gym but i just really want all of this weight gone. I feel inpatient and like my life is on hold until i can drop some of this weight. I only have a small fraction of clothes that fit right now and it is really bumming me out. I am convinced i can be vegan at least for the next month and try and rationalize myself out of eating things i shouldn't If they aren't vegan I shouldn't eat them and if they are higher calorie i should probably avoid them too.

My therapist is switching to private practice so I won't be going to therapy for a few weeks and my girlfriend wants to eat healthier so maybe I can lose this weight. Maybe i can be in control for once. I just want to get back to where I was and i want my clothes to fit again. I lost a lot of weight when i fasted before so maybe lightning will strike twice and i will get lucky. I just want the weight gone. It is all I want right now.

[Rant/Rave] Thoughts after a B/P.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 18:31:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cidra/thoughts_after_a_bp/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] Made an alt-account just to hang out here
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 17:47:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ci7eb/made_an_altaccount_just_to_hang_out_here/
---
Hi, I'm Kye.

I'm 21, graduating my senior year of college this June, and I have disordered eating disorder. It's relatively recent, starting as a coping mechanism after I was raped about 7 months ago. I go through phases of intense binging, followed by near-starvation and over workout. Just recently, I got a notebook to document my diet and exercise, with recent trends tending towards eating less than 800cal a day, most usually between 400-500.

I'm 5'5", 129lbs, and I love my body. I really do, I think I look good. But with the lack of control in my life, especially in dealing with taking my case to court (who knew the American Justice system cared so little for victims of sexual abuse?!) controlling my food intake, exercising my control over my cravings, and pushing my body to the brink have become my sole means of solace.

I don't know what I'm doing, but then again, nobody really does.

[Help] Maintaining and feeling weird about it (vent)
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 17:31:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ci52u/maintaining_and_feeling_weird_about_it_vent/
---
Over the past 2 weeks I've raised my intake because I'm pretty close to hitting a BMI in the 15s and I feel a little freaked out about that. I normally eat at 800 and lose about a pound a week, but for the past 2 weeks I ate at 1000 and 1100, respectively. I've justified it to myself by telling myself that my skin will get saggy if I lose more weight too quickly, that I need more potassium in my diet or I'm going to develop heart problems, and that if I lose too much weight too quickly my family and therapist will just force me to gain it back.

But I feel so guilty. Every time I step on the scale and the number is the same (90.6), I want to cry. My pants feel tighter. The more I eat, the more I want to eat. And ironically, the closer I get to maintenance the more restricted I feel, because I don't have that extra 500 calories of wiggle room any more; it's not that I'm choosing to stop eating at the end of the night because I want to, I actually have to stop eating or else I'll gain weight. I hate it. And I'm still not low enough to start exercising, because I know that if I start exercising I'll gain some weight and I couldn't stand to be above 91.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm at an impasse.

[Goal] Starting a 72 hour fast
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 129.0 | 20.13 | -41 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 16:53:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chzec/starting_a_72_hour_fast/
---
I had guests from out of town come stay with my from last Friday to today (Tuesday), and I have more people coming in to town again this Friday to next Tuesday as well.

I ate so much more food and drank so much alcohol.

This time it should be easier since I won’t be drinking.

But I gained a pound. I was 133.8 now I'm 135. Not as bad as I was expecting. I only ate half of my meals, was able to keep it to two meals a day, and was careful with not drinking too much (sorta).

But gaining a pound versus the week before losing over a pound a day (probably some water weight, makes me happy regardless)…bleh

I’m drinking water and tea and that’s it until Friday dinner. Then I'll do the eat half of whatever is on my plate or less...it's going to be harder since the person staying with me knows about my history with ED...

[Rant/Rave] No more (rant)
/u/elliebearrrr
Created: Tue Mar 29 16:35:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chwxu/no_more_rant/
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I am such a fat pig. BED has reared its ugly head once more, and for the past 10 days I've gone way over even my maintenance calories every. single. day. Actually, I can't even blame my ED anymore, I feel like I've become this monster who just can't stop shovelling food in purely for the sake of it. I've gone from 162 to 175lbs in that time, I'm trying to tell myself some of it will be water retention from all the sodium and shit I've been eating recently, as well as premenstrual bloating, but the fact remains that I've put on nearly a whole stone in just over a week :( all that hard work undone, I feel like such a failure. I suppose one good thing is that I haven't purged once in that time, but that also means I haven't had that lovely empty feeling in a while either. sorry this was rambling and negative but I needed to post here so l feel like I have to live up to my word when I say this: no more. I will start tomorrow eating 500cals a day as my absolute limit, but aiming for below 300.

Wish me luck.... :(

[Discussion] Obsessed with food?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Tue Mar 29 16:02:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chru9/obsessed_with_food/
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Does anyone else find that they're obsessed with food? Like I love cooking, reading recipes (healthy or not) and spend a good 80% of the time I spend on the internet just looking up stuff to do with food. Sometimes I cook stuff for the hell of it, not because I want to eat it (and end up binging anyway). Does anyone else have this?

[Rant/Rave] Sriracha cashews!! Only 100 cals per pack, low in sodium, super filling, delicious!
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 141 lbs | -10 | GW 115 | 22.76 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 15:31:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chmxr/sriracha_cashews_only_100_cals_per_pack_low_in/
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Oh my god, I just got these cashews and they blew my goddamn mind. Like I hate nuts y'all, I hate them so much, but these...these!!!! Oh my god. Perfect for when you feel like binging because you get a spicy/savory taste, and the cashews themselves are way filling. So if you suck at restricting and are trying to stop purging (like me!), this is a great place to start. So because they're so filling, it stops you from reaching for more like with chips or crackers or any salty snack.


The brand is Emerald and I believe I got them at Safeway. But these are delicious and low cal and literally saved my ass (from getting fat). I just had to rave because these literally saved me from binging breakdowns this week. I hope this helps someone else out there. Love y'all.

[Help] How to prevent fainting and suspicion?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 15:24:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chlqx/how_to_prevent_fainting_and_suspicion/
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I stupidly told my therapist more about my restriction, binging, laxative use, and most recently EC stacking.

He's willing to not tell his boss because he's happy I was so open with him, but he said he's concerned I'm going to faint and when I do it's out of his hands and I could be kicked out of school.

How do I make sure this does not happen?

And also how to cover up weight loss? Does wearing baggy clothes help? I don't want any suspicions to be raised.

[Rant/Rave] IT FITS!!
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" l 132.1 | 26.07 l -16.9 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 15:00:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chhtp/it_fits/
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Guys, I bought this dress two Octobers ago while it was too small, hoping I would lose enough to weight to fit into it. I have an event next Friday and today I tried it on, not really thinking it would fit. Well guess what?! I zipped it all the way up for the first time ever!! Granted, it's still tight so it doesn't look that good yet, but I'm hoping to be 6 pounds slimmer by the time I have to wear it, which I know I can accomplish if I work hard enough! What an extra motivating boost, knowing it already fits and now I just need to work a little harder to make it look better! I've been losing and gaining the same 10 pounds for the last couple months, and it finally feels like I'm starting to make progress again. Thanks for reading, I just wanted to share my excitement with someone who would understand :)

[Rant/Rave] Silver Linings
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 14:43:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chf1u/silver_linings/
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Another date cancelled. That's the 4th in a week (4 different guys, one no-show, 3 cancelations). Fuck dating. Fuck trying. Fuck putting yourself out there. Fuck it.

Silver lining? I won't have to eat dinner out today. So there's that. I can totally be under my calories goal for the day. Yay...

[Help] I hate getting sick
/u/lifetc
Created: Tue Mar 29 14:09:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ch9ag/i_hate_getting_sick/
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I'd been having a couple of really on-game days lately, and added a killer workout at the gym this morning to everything. I worked until my throat was sore, and a few hours later I'm burning up, feeling way sick, and just like I don't know what to do now. I've got a hangup about being afraid of not eating enough drilled in by my psycho Mom, really would love to hear, say, if you guys find that fasting gets easier when you're sick, that being sick can be turned into progress, etc?
I'm going to be fine if I don't eat with a flu right? Eurgh. Life.

[Rant/Rave] So I felt bad after yesterday
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Mar 29 14:05:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ch8lq/so_i_felt_bad_after_yesterday/
---
Ate 123 cals, burned about 2300. I'm feeling really proud, hopefully the scale says the same tomorrow :)

[Discussion] I went to starbucks to treat myslef and...
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Tue Mar 29 12:43:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgupq/i_went_to_starbucks_to_treat_myslef_and/
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...drank 550 calories. Wtf caramelized honey frappuccino.

This is how I got fat.

What single item is a days worth of calories that you can't say no to?

Disclaimer : my daily is 850cal, so I still have space but that was a huge hit.

[Discussion] Rebooting after Easter weekend...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 12:26:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgrm6/rebooting_after_easter_weekend/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] My family is finally starting to notice, but I really wish they didn't
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 11:41:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgjup/my_family_is_finally_starting_to_notice_but_i/
---
I visited my parents this weekend. I was really stressed out because I knew I had to eat more than I normally do, and I really did do my best because I didn't want my parents to worry. But it didn't work, they complained that I ate too little. Kind of makes me think that damn I ate a LOT last fall.

And today they both contacted me, dad e-mailed and mom called. They both said the same thing: that I'm too thin, "bones are sticking out" and it worries them how little I eat. I tried to calm them down, I reminded them I was in treatment for one thing.

Now I feel bad in many ways. I feel really guilty, making them worry about me once again. But at the same time I feel sort of...good, that someone finally noticed. Proud, even. And THAT makes me me feel like I'm a bad person.

And I really don't want to stop yet. I haven't lost any weight in three weeks because I've been binging and purging so much, but I plan to change it. I really want to get to 95, and even lower. That means I have to be more careful around my family from now on.

I just needed to get this out, there's no other point in this post. Thank you if you read this.

[Goal] rewarding myself with colourpop lipsticks
/u/childshair [5'7 | 107.2 lbs | 16.73 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 11:22:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cggkf/rewarding_myself_with_colourpop_lipsticks/
---
If I stay under 800 calories a day for a week and lose a pound and stay at 106 for a week then I'll treat myself to two ColourPop lipsticks! One lipstick for staying under my calorie limit and one for losing and maintaining that lost weight!


They have such pretty shades and I love their ultra matte colors!
plus they're cheap as hell *heart eyes emoji*


edit: btw I am in no way affiliated with the company, they're just super cheap lipsticks that I found online because I'm too poor to get the Kylie Lip Kit lol

[Rant/Rave] This is the first time in 9 months that I've been the same weight for two days in a row.
/u/OrchidandthePearl [5'7 | 106 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 11:16:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgfij/this_is_the_first_time_in_9_months_that_ive_been/
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And I'm okay with that. I feel like that's kind of a milestone in and of itself.

[Tip] Sodium: Don't Panic!
/u/sorry_ari
Created: Tue Mar 29 11:02:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgcze/sodium_dont_panic/
---
It can take 48-72 hours for a ton of sodium to leave the body. If you want to make it (and the water it's holding into) leave the body faster, look up diuretic foods and beverages. These will promote peeing. But most of all, DON'T PANIC! You can be holding on to water for days and days depending on what you eat, but as long as you're still at a deficit, you will drop that water when the sodium leaves.

I have actually been doing very well and eating at a healthy deficit recently. And I'm about to travel this week and eat some delicious food in LA. This will mean a LOT of sodium, but I can still be diligent and eat at maintenance or just below, and now I know that even if I'm up a few pounds on the scale when I get back, the math doesn't lie.

Most of my ED thinking is mental and anxiety-based, my brain getting fucked up for no other reason than a number. Disordered thinking for me is very much about a mind-body disconnect. But the more information I have the less it messes with that anxiety, the more empowered I can be, and the more I can stick to my goals. I just wanted to share.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 29 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cg2y5/daily_food_diary_march_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] My fucking life right now
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Mar 29 09:21:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfvzj/my_fucking_life_right_now/
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https://imgflip.com/i/11lxft

[Discussion] Excellent post from r/fatlogic
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 09:18:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfvk8/excellent_post_from_rfatlogic/
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[OP secretly tracks the respective diets of her two roommates](https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/4ces2s/brace_yourselves_everyone_ive_made_my_own/)

[Help] Any way to break a plateau without eating more?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 09:05:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cftfa/any_way_to_break_a_plateau_without_eating_more/
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Hiya. I've been consistently restricting since the 21st, eating about 300-550 calories per day. This morning, my weight is exactly the same as it was yesterday morning. Obviously, that's not a very long plateau (maybe you can't even call it a plateau) but it's frustrating and I'd like to see the scale go down tomorrow morning.

In the past, eating maintenance calories (or even like 500 more than I'm used to) has helped break a plateau but I'm absolutely terrified of eating over 500 a day. I know fasting helps but I can't fast today because I'm in school for 7 hours and there's no way fasting will work for me.

Any ideas?

[Rant/Rave] Frustrated by comments about my weight
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:53:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfrfy/frustrated_by_comments_about_my_weight/
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I know people just don't realize how their comments affect me, but I wish there was a way I could tell them to stop without making it seem like I have a problem.

One of my best friends always tells me I'm looking skinny like every time I see her. She says it as a compliment, but it really bothers me because I don't need people to encourage this behavior. I also don't want people looking at my body.

I have another friend who hadn't seen me in awhile tell me that I look good, but that I shouldn't lose more weight. It makes me feel really self conscious about my body and habits and just makes everything worse.

None of these comments would be appropriate I were gaining weight. You wouldn't tell someone that they're looking fat today, or that they should really stop gaining weight, or that styles of clothes only look good on them because they're fat. It's like if you're normal/underweight people have free reign to comment on your body and food choices.

But I don't know how to tell them to stop. I feel like even a, hey, I would appreciate if you would stop commenting on my weight and body, screams that something is wrong with me. Because it would make anyone else feel good to hear that their hard work is paying off, right?

I don't know. Seeing it all written out makes me feel crazy and way over sensitive.

[Rant/Rave] Just one goal this week...no buffets. I'm hoping shame will keep me in line
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:48:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfqmv/just_one_goal_this_weekno_buffets_im_hoping_shame/
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Okay, I just have one goal this week. I hate admitting it, but I often binge at buffets. I'm ashamed to admit that, but I have to. I rotate my buffet places--Golden Corral, these two Chinese places, and KFC. Gross, I know.


My only goal this week is to not binge at buffets. I can do it at home, in my car, whatever...but I know that I always consume fewer calories when I have less variety to deal with during binges.


My weight is up again after hitting a new low for the year, and I will never reach my goal weights if I keep binging at buffets. I should stop b/p altogether, but this seems like a manageable goal.


One, it's gross. I consume so much. Two, it makes me so awkward socially...I hate human contact when I'm binging and when I'm at places when they ask me how I'm doing or refill my drinks (I can drink up to like 6-7 glasses of diet coke--with ice, hah), I am probably rude :( . Three, I NEED to set a limit on how much I'm spending on binge food. I am really horrible...I can go to a buffet, and then stop by the gas station afterward for a few more items. This needs to stop.

To make the whole binge goal more manageable, I'm going to just make this one promise...I don't have to stop b/p completely, I just need to stop going to buffets like a monster.


Thanks for letting me rant.

[Help] Mood swings with EC stack
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:47:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfqkv/mood_swings_with_ec_stack/
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My husband sat me down this morning and said he's really worried about me because I've been different for the past few months. He said it's like living with 2 different people. Sometimes I'm fine, and other times I'm anxious and cranky and mean. He's right. I know he is. The worst part is it effects me as a mother. Maybe it's just the restricting, but I've heard that the EC stack can cause mood issues, so I was just wondering if any of you have experienced this. I'm thinking of weening off for a while, but I'm terrified I'll gain weight. I don't know what to do. I've been crying because I feel like such an asshole.

[Rant/Rave] Adios dairy, red meat and pork...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:11:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfkyz/adios_dairy_red_meat_and_pork/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] 3-defy binge and up six pounds
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:09:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfkow/3defy_binge_and_up_six_pounds/
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Every pound is a struggle and everyday I'm losing ground. I know it's mostly water weight, I ate a lot of salty takeout. I'm fasting today and this post is just for accountability.

But I'm curious, what's the most you've gained from a binge and how long did it take you to lose it? I want to down four pounds by Thursday

*ANNNND I JUST ATE 4 BAGELS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME


[Rant/Rave] Rant
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:08:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfkix/rant/
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My boyfriend for a year and a half wants to break up with me, we've been friends forever. He knows everything about me. He's literally my only friend. I don't know what to do. He isn't breaking up but he keeps saying that he wants to but he doesn't want to hurt me. I had panic attacks so bad last night that they turned into seizers from so much stress. He's everything to me and I love him so much.
If I never post again it's probably because he broke up and I killed myself.

Edit: My forehead is all bruised up because I kept hitting it so hard out of anger towards myself. At least I'm not cutting anymore.

[Goal] Day 1 of EC stacking
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 07:43:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfh03/day_1_of_ec_stacking/
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I don't know how many people will need this. I just thought I'd log my experience in case someone out there was nervous and hasn't seen one before. Also because it's helpful to me to keep on track... I'm really sorry if this isn't helpful or not allowed on the subbreddit, I'll delete it immediately if that's the case

Yesterday : I went out and bought a 60 capsule box of bronkaid at 25mg ephedrine as well as 80 caffeine tablets at 200mg a pill.

Today:

9:30AM : Woke up at 9:00AM with a headache. I assume from dehydration, so I downed about 200 mL of water before taking my EC stack (25 mg E, 200mg C) at 9:20. After taking I consumed another 300mL of water.

Fluids: 500mL...Calories: 0

I plan on assessing how I feel at about 2PM before deciding whether or not to take another dose. I'll update when it kicks in, and then either a few hours after or at the end of the day. I'm also logging fluid intake because both Ephedrine and caffeine are diuretics and any adverse side effects I may or may not experience could have to do with a low fluid intake.

10:00AM : I'm pretty sure it's working. My hands are beginning to shake. Whether it's because I was anticipating the jitters and this is a placebo or because it's actually kicked in I don't really know. But either way I feel pretty amazing right now and my headache is gone. I feel mostly thirsty. Absolutely not hungry at all. Which is weird because I usually am hungry before now.

Fluid: 700mL...Calories: 0

12:40PM : The jitters have subsided for the most part. I ate a little bit of cereal at around 11:15AM or so. Not because I was hungry, but rather to see if this is truly supressing my apetite. In my experience, eating makes my apetite increase, so it's harder to resist food if I've eaten rather than if I've just gone without for the whole day. The cereal hasn't spurred on any desire to eat more food, which means that the stack is probably working. I'm pleased with this so far. I may take another dose in an hour, but I'll have to see how I feel then.

Fluids: 1100mL...Calories: 190

2:00PM : I'm still contemplating taking another dose. I've been having small twangs of what I believe may be hunger (?)... it's possible I'm just thirsty though because they very quickly disappear. By this I mean I get hungry for maybe 1 minute and then it goes away. So I'm thinking about just drinking water and seeing how tonight goes without the second dose.

Fluids: 1600mL...Calories: 190

2:40PM : Decided to go ahead with the second dose, because why the fuck not. I'm scared of binging at night so... just a preemptive measure. Hopefully it won't mess with my sleeping too much.

Also my anxiety is like... massive I always get really anxious before therapy and it feels a lot worse today. Bleh, still worth it.

Fluids: 2000mL...Calories: 190

4:30PM : Still no hunger. My friend bought me a muffin from Einstein's to cheer me up post-therapy. I'm making her split it with me because I'm not even in the mood to eat, but it's rude to refuse... sucks.

Also side note: Do not tell a therapist about EC stack.

Another side note: the muffin... I am never able to resist carbs but it is taking me so long to finish this. This EC stack is actually amazing.

Fluids: 2100mL....Calories: 455

10:00PM : Final update. At the moment I feel a little hungry, but certainly not like normal where I would binge. It's easier to ignore, and passes very quickly. I haven't really had any major side effects besides the anxiousness before my therapy session and being more jittery and fidgety than normal. I feel that if I had gone for a run I would have been better off for the jittery-ness. Thanks for reading!

Fluids:2500mL...Calories: 455

[Discussion] Fasting Buddies.... how's Day 2 going?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 07:22:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfe10/fasting_buddies_hows_day_2_going/
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[removed]

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A March 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 29 06:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cf456/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_march_29_2016/
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Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] Huge binge day. So mad at myself.
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Tue Mar 29 04:33:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cevet/huge_binge_day_so_mad_at_myself/
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I'm so mad at myself and disgusted with myself. I've done really *well* the past week, by my standards anyway. And I just feel like I messed it all up. I ate over 4000kcal today and purged 3 times and I feel like such a failure... :'( Nothing really interesting to say: I just had to get it out and vent to people who might understand.

[Discussion] My friend use to go on this subreddit, and she took her life
/u/AngelaKR7
Created: Tue Mar 29 01:53:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cei5y/my_friend_use_to_go_on_this_subreddit_and_she/
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I hope the moderators do not remove this post. I don't use Reddit, and I've made an account to write this message, but I understand if this is not something that users of this forum want to see.

I don't pretend to know what you all go through nor do I pretend to know this forum. Eating disorders are foreign concepts to me. But I did know my friend, and I did know that she had frequented this subreddit in the months before her death.

She went by the username hamfattie. It is odd that her account is recent, so I believe she most had used other accounts since I recall seeing the banner of this subreddit on her phone long before the account creation time.

She hinted at this subreddit often. She didn't say Reddit, but she said that she had found an eating disorder support site. I knew about her eating disorder, bulimia. She hadn't want me to know but told me one night when we were both drunk.

I don't know why I am writing this. I'm not sure if anyone here wondered where she went, so I suppose I felt I should mention it in case she had any friends here, so that they wouldn't think she just lost interest and disappeared.

I don't know what else to say. There are a lot of criticisms and hateful things I want to say about this subreddit because I knew at times, it hurt her so much, but I can't figure out how to say it, and I don't think it'd be worthwhile.

I don't know what to say to any of you either. Maybe things I wish I told her, but I told her everything I could have told her, and I could have always done better, but we all know it's pointless to think about that.

I've looked at this subreddit for a few weeks now. I guess I just want to say to everyone who feels and acts like his/her feelings aren't valid because you're "too big", or you don't get a lot of likes on the "Selfie thread", or your stats are not as impressively small for anyone to care, please don't think that what you feel isn't real or isn't warranted. And likewise, don't think that someone posting isn't as sick or something because their stats are high. You don't know how close to death they emotionally are. Don't dismiss people base on their body stats or their picture. It's easy in this subreddit to see people as numbers.

I didn't see my friend as a number. I saw her for her brilliance and her sense of humor. She loved music and loved computers. Bulimia took that away from her first, and then took her away from us.

You all matter to someone the way she mattered to me. Your friends might not post some message on Reddit, but they love you as I loved her. Please be there for each other. Nothing I say can heal any of you, but please care about each other and value each other for the people you are and not for the stats you post in your flairs.

Thank you for reading. I wish you all a long and good life.

[Goal] Joining the no booze crew :)
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 00:19:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ce9u6/joining_the_no_booze_crew/
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I've seen a few posts on here from people who want to cut back on their drinking and have set goals for themselves. I know I use alcohol as a crutch for anxiety and boredom.

But not this weekend. I've told my friends I'm not drinking (albeit I have no one to physically hold me accountable for 1700km). And you're my friends, so I'm telling you I won't drink this weekend. I'm planning to go for a drive to a national park 4 hours away, and stay the night without access to anything apart from water and tea.

How has everyone else been doing with their no drink goals?

[Rant/Rave] self control
/u/childshair [5'7 | 107.2 lbs | 16.73 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 22:43:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdzpx/self_control/
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I stopped restricting for a little over a year now and I've been focused on healthy foods. I gained a little at the beginning, but now I've maintained at my average weight while I was restricting.

I desperately want to get to 100 lbs and even down to 90 but I just don't know how to get back on track. I suck at counting calories on MFP now and I just need to get back into the habit of doing so

I just want to be thin and I'm so upset that it's not something that can happen overnight. I just need motivation and a slap in the face to get started again!

I also have terrible self control with eating half plates, I was raised to finish everything on my plate and I can't get out of that habit. I'm also so tempted to grab a snack right now but instead I'll be on here trying to distract myself u_u

[Rant/Rave] Holidays are the absolute worst.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 22:40:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdzeq/holidays_are_the_absolute_worst/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Declaring war on bread
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 21:22:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdpv2/declaring_war_on_bread/
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That's all I eat these days, I'm becoming repulsed by most foods, and I'm becoming lazy when it comes to variation.

So I'm going to try and cut out the three foods I love most: bread, pasta and potatoes.
Of course I count calories, a slice of bread is 75 calories, but I seriously need to eat better. those calories add up, and they're just empty, you know? Bread isn't really nutritious at all. If I'm going to eat calories they may as well be healthy..

I'm going to the supermarket today and I'm going to try and stock up on some fruit and vegetables, I'm going to try becoming a little bit "raw" (vegan)- to eat more plain food, more berries and broccoli and cucumber because I don't want my health to deteriorate.

I hate you, bread :(

[Rant/Rave] So I'm semi fasting for the next 48 hours
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 21:16:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdp0c/so_im_semi_fasting_for_the_next_48_hours/
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I did so well on Easter. I ate about 600 calories. My in-laws are used to me not eating their food, so they provided me with spinach salad for Easter dinner. Perfect.

Then tonight I binged hard core and consumed about 3000 calories. The only silver lining is that several hundred calories were in booze so at least the scale won't look as bad as it should in the morning thanks to dehydration.

So basically it'll just be coffee in the morning and wine at night for the next two days. Grrrr

[Help] Personal update/advice needed
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 21:07:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdnv7/personal_updateadvice_needed/
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I started restricting last Monday (March 21) after not restricting for well over a year. I was on spring break last week so it was quite easy. I wasn't hungry nor did I have any cravings. I've lost 3.6 pounds since the 21st. I'm hoping by the end of this week I'll be 120.

Classes started back up today and I'm *absolutely ravenous*. I've had 424 calories today, which is good, but I'm hungry. I'll have tea soon after I post this to hold me over until I go to sleep. Tomorrow is my long day with 3 classes. I'm on campus from 10am to 3:45pm. I'll drink 2 cups of coffee before I leave and pack 2 cups of yogurt to have when I inevitably get hungry. I have some Adderall left from my old prescription. I'm debating whether or not I want to take some tomorrow.

My mom and her boyfriend will be visiting on April 6th until the 10th to watch me in my horse riding competition. I'm really worried about eating when they're here. They are planning on going out to eat every night (I live in Vegas, so naturally they want to try all the restaurants here). If I didn't have a horse riding competition, it would be easy to fast all day then just pick at lean meats and veggies while we're at a restaurant. But I can't exactly fast while I'm actively competing. So I'll either end up fasting and being weak/risk injuring myself or my horse, or just eating way more food than I'd ever imagine and being super depressed with the weight gain when they leave :/

Before I knew they'd be visiting, I was planning to just eat 500-600 calories in the morning before I compete and fast the rest of the day. But that's not feasible if we'll be going out to eat afterwards.

Any ideas as to how I can make their visit as painless as possible, food wise?

[Rant/Rave] I was a greasy fat tub o lard today
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 19:47:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdcsh/i_was_a_greasy_fat_tub_o_lard_today/
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Following the drunken shenanigans at Easter that left me with a gnawing stomach this morning....i fucking ate a chimichanga! WHO THE FUCK. I worked my ass off as much as I could with a sick kid and desk job but definately didn't do shit worth to correct my fucked weekend and monday. But tmrw. No breakfast. No lunch and if i get hungry, it'll be a small meal. No snacks. Hopefully no booze. And I'll be at the gym again and I'll be taking a couple of nice walks. Fuck yes. I will be beautiful one day. Also trailer park boys is back! I'm in blissful sadness.

[Rant/Rave] Bright side of a binge?
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 19:28:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cd9xn/bright_side_of_a_binge/
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Will flair when I'm off mobile

I'm writing this mid binge. My stomach is huge and bloated and rolling out over my pants. I'm upset with myself for having this little control, but on the bright side at the end of this binge I will have nothing in the house but safe foods. I don't have much left that isn't safe, but I already know it doesn't stand a chance tonight.

So as much as this binge sucks and I am being super fat and disappointing, tomorrow will be so much easier because I will not have anything around to set me off and I will not allow myself to rebuy!

Gonna go eat more now :(

[Discussion] Do you guys exercise?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 18:11:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccyyq/do_you_guys_exercise/
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If so, what do you do? What do you target?


I personally do jumping jacks, lunges, squats, and ballet kicks for the sole purpose of burning calories. I realize that as I get closer to my goal weight (105-110) I should begin doing ab exercises (current weight is ~130 lbs).



Emergency advice needed
/u/skinnyminilove [5'0" | 108 | 21.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 17:36:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccu17/emergency_advice_needed/
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[removed]

[Discussion] Those trouble spots
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 17:28:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccso4/those_trouble_spots/
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(I saw this in a different sub earlier)

But whenever I think of my trouble spots and what needs to go, I think of Arnie's catchphrase

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/4c/82/dc/4c82dcb635e534d37c2e8983b1be4255.jpg

Now I'm not building muscle but I think it applies too!

[Rant/Rave] I don't know who will read this, this doesn't have to do with an eating disorder or anything else.
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 17:17:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccr6a/i_dont_know_who_will_read_this_this_doesnt_have/
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I'm sure this is against the rules of the subreddit, but I genuinely have no one else to talk to in my life other than this random corner of the Internet. I'm not even friends with anyone here or talk to anyone here regularly. I just have nothing.

My life is very mundane and pointless at the moment. I think my saying "at the moment" implies hope. I hope very much this isn't what it'll always be, but I also feel this terrible dread that I'm wrong. I'm 19. Today I thought about my 53rd birthday for no reason at all, and I laid down in my bed in the middle of the day to sleep so I couldn't feel afraid anymore. I had 600mg of caffeine and a Primatene tablet about an hour before and I still slept like a stone.

I feel dumb and shallow and I don't think my life is worth very much. I don't have a lot of original thoughts and I'm not beautiful or smart.

I have two friends, but they are very toxic. I can't make any other friends. It gives me anxiety, for one, and then no one wants to hang out with me anyway. I usually have nothing to say. My friends are relics from my childhood and it's comfortable but we don't have a lot in common and I need you to understand they genuinely don't like it when I succeed at things in life, and they express it to me.

I have a boyfriend who I love very deeply but I don't think he loves me. I hold him longer, look at him longer, and talk to him longer than him to me. This doesn't sound as terrible as it feels. It tears me up inside. We've been dating for almost a year and he has no idea about my depression or ED or past of abuse. I can't tell him. I want him to love me back and I don't want to let anything get in the way of that. This sounds crazy because it is. But to feel alone when you're with the person you love is hell on earth. I get knots in my stomach thinking about it.

I feel like I was created to love things very deeply and I used to think that was a positive aspect of myself. I'm very passionate. But it makes unrequited feelings cut through me. I have panic attacks about it alone in my room. Or I'll stare at my ceiling for 2 hours without realizing it, like, you know, normal people do.

I don't know what to do. I know you can't help. I don't know what I need or what I want. I just know today I'm feeling all of this weight very strongly and needed to get it out, and sometimes this terrible subreddit created by terrible people is the only place I feel like others understand what it's like to want to be loved so so desperately, but feel like the reason you aren't is because of who you naturally are, whether it's 200 pounds or gay or anxious. Okay okay that's all sorry

[Rant/Rave] I just dumped out 2 cups of rice that came with my thai eggplant basil
/u/apricaught
Created: Mon Mar 28 17:10:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccq5e/i_just_dumped_out_2_cups_of_rice_that_came_with/
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I almost poured detergent on it to stop myself. It looked good. But I knew it was an empty 500 that just didn't need to be inside me. It helps that I'm sick with low appetite. Instead, I'm going to supplement the eggplant with something high in protein, and definitely not binge tonight.


This is the first time I've done anything this disordered and I'm not sure how to feel.

[Thinspo] Perhaps the best anti-Thinspo I've ever seen: Inside Fat People
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 16:35:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cckks/perhaps_the_best_antithinspo_ive_ever_seen_inside/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ij3k50-C28

[Help] Help...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 16:19:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cci2j/help/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] Armpit Gap?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 16:01:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccf0e/armpit_gap/
---
I always hear and see everyone talking about thigh gaps, but I'm enamoured with getting a gap between my arm and ribs. Is there a proper name for this area? Is it possible to get that without being drastically underweight?

I have so much gross skin on my fucked up ugly upper arms that they'd probably look like someone wearing sleeves made from a Jabba the Hut skinsuit, but a girl can dream..... :/

[Help] Stressed over weekend trip
/u/weightliftingwaif [5'2.5" | 111.8lbs | 20.76| 2lbs]
Created: Mon Mar 28 15:54:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccdyb/stressed_over_weekend_trip/
---
I'm flying out friday with my husband for a mini-trip for his birthday. The plus sides are I get to be in my home state, we are going to a big event, and we plan on seeing my favorite aunt for a couple of hours. The downside is I have horrible panic attacks on planes and my doctor is booked solid for the next month. I ran out of anti-anxiety meds a couple of months ago, but I haven't needed them because I haven't been flying. I try not to use them for non-flight related panic attacks because they end up causing panic attacks with the slightest introduction of caffeine in my system, and that just can't happen. I ONLY wake up in the morning for coffee.

Part of me really really thinks I can handle this flight with dramamine and my crochet gear; that I might have a small attack but ultimately I want to go and it's always easier to restrict eating when I have a "healthy" (I'm so sick) amount of anxiety rolling through. Plus, the anti-anxiety meds I take make me want all the trail mix.

Help! I need encouragement.

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Don't put that in your mouth.
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 15:43:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccc91/thinspo_dont_put_that_in_your_mouth/
---
http://imgur.com/a/gTGo8

[Help] Starting a fast tomorrow
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 14:47:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cc34c/starting_a_fast_tomorrow/
---
Easter hit me hard this year, so I'm going to fast for three days to sort of make up for any excess I've eaten. I already have a huge water bottle, as well as several flavors of tea, including a carrot curry savory tea (though it does have 5 calories per bag). I'll be at uni most of the day, so I'll leave my debit card and any cash behind, except for $3 for a coffee or tea.


I'm prone to fainting from hypoglycemia, should I invest in a little bag of hard candies if I feel I'm about to drop? Does anyone have any better ideas?


How do you distract yourself when you start getting hungry? I have two big programming projects, so I'll be working on them most of the time. Other than that, I can't think of anyway to distract myself besides studying.

[Discussion] What's your motivation? Mine? Swimsuits and naval piercings
/u/paradisedeparted [5'3" | 110 | 20.02 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 14:37:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cc1iz/whats_your_motivation_mine_swimsuits_and_naval/
---
Hey guys, I am really starting to try to lose weight so this summer I can actually feel confident for the first time. If I lose a fair amount of weight, I will get my belly button pierced at the end of April, but I'm kind of nervous. I want to be skinny otherwise I think my piercing will look trashy rather than sleek, hot, elegant and classy. This summer is motivation for me, I'd love to hear yours!

[Rant/Rave] Still afraid to weigh myself atm buuut (:
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Mon Mar 28 14:10:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbx1l/still_afraid_to_weigh_myself_atm_buuut/
---
I'm wearing a cross tank and my mom says you need to stop loosing weight you're back is all boney.

I dont see it whatsoever, i still look fat and flabby af to myself, but made me smile and totally just motivated me to fast another day. (:

Oh and last night I discovered I fit into my favorite super tiny white shorts I wore back 4 years ago when I was skinnyyy (: ahh.

Sorry I had to express my happiness.

Still afraid to weigh myself atm buuut (:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 14:00:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbv9y/still_afraid_to_weigh_myself_atm_buuut/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I don't understand why my body looks the way it does (i.e., super shitty).
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 13:51:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbtri/i_dont_understand_why_my_body_looks_the_way_it/
---
Just a rant. I just cannot understand why I look so goddamn enormous. I mean. I'm by no means underweight or even normal-people thin really but with my stats I'm more or less a petite person. I believe I have a fair amount of muscle (my shoulders are super wide and I'm starting to get that awful thigh knuckle thing...have to knock off doing so much HIIT) and it stands to reason that since muscle is so dense at my weight I should look *smaller* than I weigh if anything.

But I don't. I look much bulkier and softer, like I weigh a good 10 pounds more than I do. Like, I try to be objective, I look at new photos and I just look so thick. I can see progress from 10, 15, 20 lbs ago, but it's my bones, or proportions, or a ton of hidden visceral fat, or my goddamn breasts, or idk what. My best friend told me the other day that I was "sturdy", which is exactly how I look, will always look. I have a 22" waist but I feel like a huge hulking monster.

I honestly don't know what my goals are. I want to be strong but also small and slim. I don't want my muscles to look any ropier but I can't do deep restriction any more so I do a shitload of hardcore exercise, usually brutal bodyweight HIIT which involves a lot of explosive movement. I don't know how to get a deep enough deficit without it.

I'm close to what I thought was my gw but I hate how I look. I'm going to restrict as much as I can with low-moderate protein, around 500-600 total, to cut as much body fat as I can and hopefully also lose some other mass, and then see where I'm at I guess.

I just don't understand and I don't know what to do.

----

Edited to add: whoa you guys. When I posted to whine I did not expect to get such kind support/advice. It's amazing to have a place where I don't feel quite so much like I'm going out of my mind. <3 <3 <3

[Rant/Rave] Here is a (slightly humorous) TMI rant for all of you.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 13:29:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbq0k/here_is_a_slightly_humorous_tmi_rant_for_all_of/
---
Way TMI, enjoy my struggle.

I've been really good with food the past couple days and saw the scale nudge a bit but of COURSE life can't fuck off long enough for me to enjoy it.

I not only got my period a day early (I'm otherwise regular down to like the fucking hour so this is abnormal for me) BUT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO POOP FOR DAYS AND CANT. I know the scale would look different if I wasn't constipated *on top of* period bloat and just AUUGGHH really this is my life right now?!!?

I would "take care of this" with a million cups of coffee but I coincidentally don't have any in the house. IM A FUCKING BARISTA AND I DONT HAVE COFFEE IN MY OWN HOUSE. I literally make other people coffee all day long and naturally this occurs over the course of me having multiple days off in a row.

I'm sitting on the couch just laughing at how stupid this all is. At least I'm in a good enough mood to not let this upset me.

Anyways whatever life, if this is all you have to throw at me I can't complain.

[Rant/Rave] Yay for near impossible eating hours!
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Mar 28 12:30:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbg0a/yay_for_near_impossible_eating_hours/
---
I have to commute to work in another city that takes about 2 hours. I usually work a 9-5 but rarely will be called upon for a 12-8 or 10-6.

My first week back from Easter I'm on 12-8s. Unlike my old place in the bank, my new office doesn't have a proper staff room or microwave or anything.

This means I have to do all my eating before 9am in the morning to get to work. And I'm not a morning eater. I feel sick in the morning.

This week I'll be managing to fit in about 500 calories max per day. Even with snacking on popcorn at my desk.

And it'll mean pretty much 24 hour fasts between meals.

My work said they'll make adjustments to help me recover. Won't change the schedule though. And I won't complain. I've got therapy on the 5th April. Let's see if I can get to a BMI of 18 before then.

[Goal] I'm gonna call it a cheat day
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 28 12:17:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbdua/im_gonna_call_it_a_cheat_day/
---
I'm gonna tell myself it's ok, it's Easter, I've worked hard, I'll let myself enjoy it tonight; not binging, just enjoying some small things.

[Help] Looking for thinspo
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 155 | 19.9 | -53 | M]
Created: Mon Mar 28 11:55:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cba4x/looking_for_thinspo/
---
I recently lost a lot of weight and am looking to go even lower. I feel like I have a lot of loose skin, so I'm curious if anyone here has any thinspo of people who've gone to underweight BMIs from being obese?

[Help] Movies and documentaries on Netlix?
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 11:46:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cb8pp/movies_and_documentaries_on_netlix/
---
Hi! I was wondering if any of you know some movies/documentaries on Netflix about eating disorders? Doesn't matter in which country it is (I use Smartflix, everything is available on it).

[Discussion] Fitness trackers
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 11:22:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cb4r9/fitness_trackers/
---
I know a lot of y'all have fit bits. I've owned three and not had good luck. What others ones do people own? I'm looking at jawbone move and Garmin vivofit.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 28 10:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4car9r/daily_food_diary_march_28_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Help me get thinner!! Pic included
/u/improvemyfatassbody
Created: Mon Mar 28 09:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cahzt/help_me_get_thinner_pic_included/
---
[removed]

[Help] Family vacation
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:53:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cagk3/family_vacation/
---
hey guys - I REALLY need help.

So basically I'm on vacation right now. There's so much shitty food around me, and I don't want to fuck up- I just reached the non-overweight BMI, and I don't want to screw up. I have a bunch of shit food around me for breakfast- Frosted Flakes, high calorie oatmeal, and I'm SUPER tempted. I'm going to stay strong and have an egg white omelette for breakfast, but I'm scared I'm going to fuck up for lunch and dinner.

Tips anyone?

Ephedrine in US?
/u/HowtoInternets
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:50:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cag3g/ephedrine_in_us/
---
[removed]

[Help] Ephedrine in the U.S.?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:25:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cack2/ephedrine_in_the_us/
---
I really want to try an EC stack but I am seriously scared of buying Bronkaid. I feel like they're going to know.

How do you buy it without looking like a guilty child?

Edit: I did it. I had to go up to the counter at Rite Aid, they literally scanned my license and made me sign something saying I wouldn't use it for anything other than it's intended purpose (I assume to prevent drug shut but whatever). That was it. Painless. I don't know why I was scared. Thanks everyone!

[Rant/Rave] Feeling Strong Today
/u/quona [5' 4.5" | 123.2 | 21.22 | 46.4 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:15:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cab2p/feeling_strong_today/
---
Hello, friends. I hope all of you had perfectly restricted Easters!

I was not so great. I slipped into some pretty major depression the past 25 days, and my eating and exercise fell all to hell thanks to the apathy of a good depressive episode. I didn't gain much (I have no idea how! I was eating like I was on a mission) but whew, it was mentally rough.

I woke up this morning feeling like I turned a corner, and I'm so glad for it. I'm taking an EC stacks to keep the cravings at bay until I can get my body used to not having breakfast and lunch again.

I'm so glad to have my resolve back and care about things again.

How are you today? Feeling strong, too, I hope?

[Help] I'm sitting in Luton airport with a massive plate of sausage and mash in front of me...
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 113.8lbs | 17.05 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:00:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ca8tn/im_sitting_in_luton_airport_with_a_massive_plate/
---
Warning: massive boring ramble ahead, mainly postibg to distract myself from the food

So i got to the airport 4 hours early because that was the only coach, and now my flight is delayed by an hour. The day started off really well with two coffees and no food...until now. I'm not even hungry. The EC stack is making me feel sick and my hands are seriously shaking from the caffeine. I browsed MAC and Kurt Geiger and Accessorize. I read comic books, i drank coffee, i did my make up, I stood in the giant queue for the toilets for hours.

And then for no reason, no fucking reason, i drifted into the canteen. Im like a fucking addict, I can't stay away. I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY. GENUINELY. FOR ONCE IN MY FAT PIGGY LIFE I'M NOT HUNGRY BUT I STILL HAVE A MASSIVE PLATE OF FOOD IN FRONT OF ME.

Bangers and mash. That's my weakness. Fuck chocolate abd pizza abd chips and pancakes and ice cream and crisps abd sweets and cake. Bangers and mash with peas and gravy is where its at.

So I've decided to implement some rules.

1) no taking a bite until I've posted this and turned all the links purple.
2) 1 tiny bite at a time, chew 10 times
3) cutlery down between each bite
4) water between every bite
5) no eating more than 1/3rd
6) read at the same time

Hopefully the food will be cold soon and even more gross. This might not seem like much to some of you but this is a real test for me. I'm good at restricting, I'm good at saying no and skipping meals but its really hard for me not to devour something when its in front of me. I hate hate hate wasting food and money. I'm also very aware that I might as well put up a giant flashing neon sign above my head saying EATING DISORDER for all the other people in this place to see. Oh well, fuck them. And fuck this food. Its gone cold now, the gravy has congealed, the sausage is a little curled up thing that looks like a turd. I don't need this shit. I'm going to stay with my dad and his gf who are probably going to pour oil and red meat and butter and cheese down my throat fpr the next 10 days. I might as well do some pre-emptive damage control.

Okay I'm thinking a couple more bites of mash, minimal gravy, no sausage. Please wish me luck!

[Goal] Under 125!
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 07:25:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ca46h/under_125/
---
After weeks and weeks of stalled weight and self sabotage, I am finally under 125 lbs. I was worried Easter was going to throw me off again, but I did it! I'm going to try and enjoy this for a bit, but I still have some work to do to get to my UGW of 110. Thank you all for your encouragement and support!

[Thinspo] No matter what body shape you have, skinny is beautiful. (84 images)
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 07:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ca3b3/no_matter_what_body_shape_you_have_skinny_is/
---
http://imgur.com/a/62CGi

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! March 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 28 06:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c9upa/weekly_stats_update_march_28_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 28, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] I feel so much better
/u/peruvian-bitch [157cm | 48.8kg | -24.2kg]
Created: Mon Mar 28 04:54:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c9ofh/i_feel_so_much_better/
---
I wasn't restricting or counting calories all last week, and I was feeling horrible and really uncomfortably full. But today, I ate around ~800cal (kind of a lot, but it's under my limit of 900) and I feel so much better!!! I don't know, I just felt like sharing

[Discussion] Does anyone else find that they need less sleep when they restrict?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 23:57:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c919f/does_anyone_else_find_that_they_need_less_sleep/
---
I've been restricting all week, after over a year of no real restriction. Some nights, it's hard to fall asleep. I'm familiar with this since I remember having many insomniac nights when I'd restrict in the past. But most nights, I'm able to fall asleep pretty quickly, and I find that my body naturally wakes me up earlier. I typically set my alarm to go off between 7:45am and 8:15am. The past few mornings, I've been waking up 45-60 minutes earlier for no real reason other than just...waking up. I usually go to bed between 10pm and 11pm, but last night it was midnight. I thought "great, I'm going to bed late and I'm not going to be able to wake up early and be productive." But I did wake up earlier without my alarm.

Is there any science behind this? Is this common with restriction?

[Goal] About to start MONDAY TO FRIDAY fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 23:39:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8zo5/about_to_start_monday_to_friday_fast/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] hot cross buns are EVIL!
/u/queencactus [5'8/173cm | 143lbs/65kg | 21 | -59lbs/27kg) | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 22:51:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8uul/hot_cross_buns_are_evil/
---
http://imgur.com/olqv369

[Discussion] Do you...?
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Mar 27 21:31:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8lp0/do_you/
---
Do you ever see what someone posted as Thinspo and think "wow. That is way too fat"? I do this all the time. Probably because my goals are extreme and I'm already the size of most thinspo models. (My goal is 70pounds. I am 5foot3 and weigh 97pounds(literally one pound underweight))

[Tip] [PSA] Magnesium is a great way to get off laxatives or just to poop
/u/TheThinSister
Created: Sun Mar 27 21:05:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8in9/psa_magnesium_is_a_great_way_to_get_off_laxatives/
---
I know a lot of us love/hate our laxatives. If you want to stop using them, but have a dependency on them, Magnesium tablets help a lot. When you consume extra Magnesium, the left over attracts water to the intestines. A lot like laxatives, but a lot less damaging. The key though is to hydrate. Which shouldn't be a problem for lots of us here.

I used to abuse the hell out of laxatives for years. I couldn't go without them. But I started taking Magnesium (125% the daily requirement) at around 19:00-20:00 (7-8pm) and in the morning I can use the restroom. No dehydration, stomach cramping, nausea, etc. It isn't harmful to you either. Magnesium also is a muscle relaxer so it helps with sleep as well!

I hope this helps!

[Rant/Rave] Plans for this week on vacation
/u/Highlyunattractive
Created: Sun Mar 27 20:57:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8how/plans_for_this_week_on_vacation/
---
I'm writing this here to keep accountable. I need to see the scale go below 75lbs when I get back or at least stay same.

Today I got into the states and on my first day binged, I've been craving meat and beans and I gave in and had lots of Mexican despite following a mainly vegan diet.

Im here with my mom and the main thing she talks about is the restaurants she wants to eat at. I care more about my body than excusing my weight loss just because we're on vacation. I told her today is the only day I will splurge, when we go out to eat il pack veggies or fruit and bring that along instead.

Im depressed because im losing my hair, I don't need to add to the problem and eat away the stress.

Stay strong, enjoy life without food. Their are no excuses or exceptions, being on vacation isn't a reason to be gross.




5 lbs in a day..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 19:51:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c89fw/5_lbs_in_a_day/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Anybody who lives on their own have any tips?
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 19:10:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c84ao/anybody_who_lives_on_their_own_have_any_tips/
---
I'm moving out of my moms house and I'm so happy. I'll no longer have to weasel my way out of dinner, or secretly try to work out in my room at 2am. I can finally eat as little as I want with nobody noticing! I can work out at all hours of the night! Are there any things you guys do differently now that you live alone?

[Thinspo] Found the perfect anti-thinspo
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Mar 27 18:58:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c82oj/found_the_perfect_antithinspo/
---
http://youtu.be/0_HdgkHz1Mo

[Intro] Happy Easter!
/u/dead_chinadoll
Created: Sun Mar 27 18:26:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7yi0/happy_easter/
---
http://imgur.com/og76VtB

[Discussion] Feel out of control lately. Just prepped tomorrow's food to start the ABC again
/u/Cuterwithage
Created: Sun Mar 27 17:29:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7qyp/feel_out_of_control_lately_just_prepped_tomorrows/
---
I've been "good" or whatever for quite a while, managing my stress with exercise and pot. I don't know why but today it just all got to be too much. My SO is going away next weekend for a work retreat and I'm suddenly off the rails. (No cheating history or trust issues on his part. I just tend to project insecurity in life onto needing him near me).

I have been so good getting baby lard off my body (I put on a disgusting 75 pounds) the healthy way but I NEED to be skinny again. I have 25 pounds left to get down to my old weight of 130 and then I'm heading back down to old "sick" weight of 108. I always loved ABC in the past so here we go. Just thinking about it is calming me so much.

Edit spelling

[Help] Binged but can't purge... struggling emotionally.
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 17:24:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7q9b/binged_but_cant_purge_struggling_emotionally/
---
Hi, bulimic here who is not allowed to purge. So today I ended up having a massive binge and I'm not all too sure why, I think it's because it's Easter and everyone on facebook were posting lovely posts about family get togethers and I was just home alone with my daughter.

I went 2000kcals over budget. I am so mad at myself. I ate chocolate, pasta, chorizo, bread and was going to make a cake but instead just ate the raw batter.

I can't purge. I have been purging for 8 years, and recently underwent a lot of dental treatment as the purging caused a lot of decay and gum disease so bad that my jaw bone had started to receed and disintergrate. I was told I was about a year away from losing my teeth if I carried on.

So I have stopped, but am not sure how to cope with this binge. I have been doing really well, (8lbs in the last 10 days), but tonight was a mess.

**TLDR: 8 years of purging caused severe dental damage, can no longer purge or will lose teeth, how the fuck do I cope with binging?**

[Thinspo] Thinspo album I put together
/u/weightliftingwaif [5'2.5" | 111.8lbs | 20.76| 2lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 27 17:14:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7p0d/thinspo_album_i_put_together/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/nvCXc

[Discussion] Why do you guys run/workout?
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Sun Mar 27 16:55:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7m9x/why_do_you_guys_runworkout/
---
Seriously. Sometimes I can never find the motivation because Im just so tired. When I do feel motivated, its because Im hungry and running will allow me to eat a little more.

[Help] I have bought a pint of Ben & Jerry's. I'm about to binge.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 16:47:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7l8x/i_have_bought_a_pint_of_ben_jerrys_im_about_to/
---
I've been eating so terribly all day. My stomach hurts, I am SO full and bloated. I ate pizza and pastries. Carbs carbs carbs. Sugar. I have a pint of Ben and Jerry's and it's sitting in the freezer. I'm actively and mindfully drinking hot tea so I can settle my stomach A BIT before I go in on the pint of ice cream so I don't feel THAT sick. Ugh what the fuck? I feel trapped by this binge. I'm in pain, I feel so anxious, so helpless. I OBVIOUSLY don't want to do this. But I can't resist. The desire is so powerful. I never stop to write out these thoughts, I usually just binge. But writing them out is hard. I'm admitting that the fucking ice cream is controlling my battered and exhausted mind. And I'm ALREADY physically in pain, >1000 calories is gonna be dumped in too?! And I'm having trouble saying no. I feel so helpless. How can I stop this ice cream binge? How can I be aware that I ALREADY fucked up today SO hard and I know I'm going to restrict again all week...and still say NO to this ice cream? It's just ice cream...my entire day is derailed over it. I don't want to clean, organize, draw, paint, read, I'm just mindlessly watching netflix in pain and panic.

Ugh, ED causes such extremes. This is so low, I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. This mentality highlights anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. I don't feel like I'm cut out for this world, NOTHING feels worth it OR bearable if something like ICE CREAM is sending me into an uncontrollable mindspace. Yet when I'm restricting I feel so in control and excited about life. I can't do this.

I'm so tired. This stupid fucking wall of text doesn't even give justice to the emotions overwhelming me, it just all sounds like the complaints of a child.

EDIT: it's been 29 minutes since I've posted this. I'm going to take my 26oz chamomile tea into the shower, sit, let the hot water hit me, and cry. The ice cream, it's mere presence in the freezer, has consumed my night. I've come to terms with that. **I'm simultaneously obsessing over eating it and not eating it. It's tearing my mind apart.** I want to run downstairs and eat it, but I'm scared of how horrible I'll feel mentally/physically afterwards. I'm stuck, I feel quite literally trapped in my mind. I need to be consumed by this disorder tonight, I can't fight it. I'm too tired. I'm going to sit in the shower until I'm finished the tea, or until I'm a giant tearless prune. And then I'll go from there. Ugh. Thanks for listening. I just don't want to feel so alone.

[Rant/Rave] A very frustrated, very long rant. Excuse my language.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 16:23:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7hzf/a_very_frustrated_very_long_rant_excuse_my/
---
I ate so much today. I ate so fucking much. I planned for breakfast and lunch and a few chocolates and it wouldve been fine, it would have been sub 1000 calories at the very least which is great for a family holiday. But no, I had to have twice the chocolate I planned. I had to have a cappuccino that had too much sugar and didnt even taste good. I had to pick out two of every dessert and steal it away from my room so i could chew and spit all of it and just throw it away. Even without putting any of that second binge in my stomach i feel like a whale. My grand total for today is 1,192 calories. Thats still under my tdee, and yet im freaking the hell out and i feel like a failure.

I feel freaking huge. and still people have been lying to my lately. My grandpa said I was too skinny. My friend said she was worried about me last week. Hell even my gf's parents, who are lovely, have said I dont need to watch what i eat (after i made a comment about how i couldnt eat something because of how heavy it was). My bmi is only 17.84. Most people wouldnt even guess im near underweight by looking at me.

I dont understand how nobody can can see what i see. Sure my collar bones stick out, I lose weight from my chest easily. everything else is fat. my stomach is huge, my legs are HUGE, i feel so freaking wide.

I really want to punish myself somehow, I feel like lashing out so bad. I wish I had laxatives to take, so I could clean myself out of all this garbage, but I dont. I dont purge and I cant here anyways. I dont know what to do with myself Im just an exhausted ball of frustration that feels fatter by the minute.

tl;dr: i ate too much and feel huge. people say otherwise and i disagree. Im so mad at myself. rant end.

[Thinspo] Goodbye, winter weight
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Sun Mar 27 16:05:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7fhp/goodbye_winter_weight/
---
http://i.imgur.com/9qlSuUL.jpg

[Rant/Rave] easter was awful, so ready to start this new week
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 124.5 | 21.65 | F | 27y]
Created: Sun Mar 27 15:03:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c771m/easter_was_awful_so_ready_to_start_this_new_week/
---
Gained about 2-3 pounds from being sedentary and eating around 1500-1800 cals a day. Yeah this sucks.

I'm thinking of fasting/juice fasting but I've never done this before successfully and I have some food that is going bad soon...so I might just stick to 300 cals a day for the next 5 days.

Anyone got any tips for starting a new week after a horrible past few days? Anyone else had an awful easter? It wasn't even the candy. Just...food. So. much. food.

[Goal] FINALLY reached my goal!
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 95 | 15.9 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 14:32:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c72p9/finally_reached_my_goal/
---
So I've been dealing with a lot of shit the last few months, but finally things are sorting themselves out. Back in January I blew out the blood vessels in my eyes from purging. I was forced to quit purging and let my eyes heal. They were blood red for a month! Ugly and embarrassing. Because I couldn't purge, I was less tempted to binge.

After a wicked b/p session on Fat Tuesday, I made my Lent thing (not super religious but I know that for Lent you have to give up a bad vice or something like that) no bingeing, no purging. It's been SO hard but getting easier as my weight drops and I get used to the hunger.

In mid- February I wrecked my car. :( Finally done dealing with insurance, deductibles, getting a new car, all that fun shit. I love my new car and had maybe 2 years at most with my old one anyway (It was a 1997 Cadillac Seville, great car when it was in its prime but the A/C no longer worked, the cassette player was broken, and the engine would run hot when idling in traffic) but it was still a huge blow to me knowing I wrecked my car. Honestly being depressed about wrecking my car helped with the weight loss too. When I'm depressed I don't want to eat.

Yesterday my boyfriend was looking at my body and said, 'You've gotten thinner! How much do you weigh now?' I felt bad because of how sad/ concerned he was but at the same time I was proud. It's sick I know. I weighed myself this morning and saw 100.6lbs. I finally did it! Happy Easter to me! (I got a giant yellow bunny Peep plushie, didn't want any candy and asked for a plush instead. I love it!)

Next goal: 97lbs (after the year of my old car.)

[Tip] 93 cal cheesy rice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 14:03:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6yt8/93_cal_cheesy_rice/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Can't seem to break the cycle :(
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 13:55:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6xna/cant_seem_to_break_the_cycle/
---
http://imgur.com/mX88Cm9

[Discussion] Does alchohol replace food for anyone else? At least on days like this.
/u/Lupish_Ah [6'1 | 135 |-15 | Male]
Created: Sun Mar 27 13:36:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6v0a/does_alchohol_replace_food_for_anyone_else_at/
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You know, since easter sort of dissolves the stigma against a day drinking, I'm usually at least fairly drunk for most of the day. Since everyone pushes eating dinner so hard, I'm usually really nervous and drink so much I'm full by dinner and have already exceeded my calorie allowance or at least come close.

Does this happen to anyone else?

[Tip] At least all this food can be used for something fun :P
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 27 12:46:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6o03/at_least_all_this_food_can_be_used_for_something/
---
http://imgur.com/T8EMqr2

At least all this food can be used for something :P
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 12:46:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6nx9/at_least_all_this_food_can_be_used_for_something_p/
---
http://imgur.com/T8EMqr2

[Thinspo] Album of me from this morning
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 12:20:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6kcj/album_of_me_from_this_morning/
---
I have avoided posting pics because I am so unhappy and ashamed about my weight, but I figure it's better to post and be honest about it. Hopefully this will give me some motivation to stop being a fat lard.

https://imgur.com/a/5mIbs

[Tip] Worried about eating too much Easter candy? Here's a tip for motivation and rationing.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 12:14:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6jho/worried_about_eating_too_much_easter_candy_heres/
---
http://imgur.com/a/THCxP

[Goal] Today I am having a binged up fucky day
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 10:59:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c694y/today_i_am_having_a_binged_up_fucky_day/
---
Starting with adding the calories of my binge yesterday to today as well as a bite of cheese danish and this glorious rumchata white russian....fuck. let's get drunk and stay skinny ladies

[Discussion] Weird things that look better after losing weight
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Sun Mar 27 10:36:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c661a/weird_things_that_look_better_after_losing_weight/
---
Beyond rib cages and collar bones, though those are great too

I've found myself strangely enamored with how my feet look. I don't remember ever having looked at my feet a lot before I got to this weight, but the veins and tendons are really visible now and it looks neat. I also like my spider fingers and how there is space between each one now - though that's probably because they are crooked...

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 27 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c61ae/daily_food_diary_march_27_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Coworker/friend made a comment and I can't stop thinking about it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 09:25:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c5whw/coworkerfriend_made_a_comment_and_i_cant_stop/
---
[deleted]

[Help] So I'm feeling really shitty
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 27 08:59:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c5tch/so_im_feeling_really_shitty/
---
On the edge of a binge since well, I always pick the wrong guys and end up heart broken. Please give me something to do, read and keep me to my goals :(

[Goal] Under 20!
/u/christmoose [5'6" | 121.2 lbs | 19.56 | -34lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 07:40:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c5kh5/under_20/
---
Guys! I weighed myself this morning and
...... My BMI and body fat are both under 20!

I'm so excited and I just wanted to say thanks for all the motivation and support! 21.2 lbs more until my UGW of 100 lbs.

Since I'm so much closer to my goal than my highest, it feels so close I can taste (lol) it!

Time to celebrate my new accomplishment with a 36+ hour fast! :)

[Help] Has anyone else had issues with overweight loved ones?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | 22.7 | -12 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 05:07:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c584z/has_anyone_else_had_issues_with_overweight_loved/
---
I love my boyfriend. I do, he is the one for me.

But since I descended into this ED mess again, I've been having a really hard time with HIS weight gain.

He's put on 30ish pounds in the last 6 months, 7 months, and I'm finding I'm so much less attractive.

It's not just that, I'm much more easily irritated by him, I want him around less, I want to do things for him less, I hate his touch sometimes, and I want to have sex WAY less (read: never)

What do I do?

We live together, I go to bed with him every night with his stomach hanging out of a too small t shirt, and our normal cuddles squishing me so that I can't breathe.

Sometimes I'm actually repelled by him, it's all fat really. Any overweight dude on the bus grosses me out. But this is the love of my life.

What do I do?

[Help] I have a medical marijuana cars to help with my sleep and anxiety, but I binge before bed.. Help!
/u/yearofthemonkeycat
Created: Sun Mar 27 04:57:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c57hd/i_have_a_medical_marijuana_cars_to_help_with_my/
---
Title says most of it and I've also posted in a comment but I'm getting pretty desperate.

Basically, I have a medical marijuana card that I use to get edibles from (it's a potent tiny gummy, hardly any calories).. It helps me relax and fall asleep at night which is a problem for me in recent years. It's the only aid that doesn't make me feel weird the next day (like sleeping pills).

The problem is that my average weight has increased significantly as a result. I used to happily weigh 110-115 lbs at 5'4" (ideal weight with no criticism, anything between 95 and 110 and people start bugging me too much and just not worth it)... Now I'm around 125-130 and it grosses me out. I'm disgusted by my naked body :(

But I feel trapped between my problems... Sleep is so important to me with my demanding job but I'm tired of being so chunky.

Any help or similar experiences is sincerely appreciated!

[Rant/Rave] One down, two to go.
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 116.6lb | 18.45 | 47.3lb | NB]
Created: Sun Mar 27 03:40:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c52kw/one_down_two_to_go/
---
One day of fasting complete. I feel good. I promised myself that if I can go two more days I'll treat myself to a Victoria's Secret shopping spree, but I'll probably have to eat at least a little Easter candy around my family today or they'll ask questions. Ugh.

[Rant/Rave] Another rant, same old same old. Move along.
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 113 lbs | 19.78 | -42 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 03:17:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c513z/another_rant_same_old_same_old_move_along/
---
Honestly, What I'm about to type out is the same old story everyone posts here (I wish I could eat less) I don't want people to waste their time reading it. I just feel like I need to get all of this out. I need for all of these feelings and thoughts to exists somewhere other than my mind. I can't sleep otherwise...

Prepare for a long story...

My husband's ex wife filed rape charges against him approximately 3 years ago. They had been separated for almost 3 years when she filed the charges. She claims he raped her on their wedding night. She never reported the rape for three years. no rape kit. she never mentioned it to anyone. For three years. The only evidence that was brought to trial was her saying that he had raped her. He said he didn't. The jury found him guilty. Sentenced to four years in prison. He is now a felon sex offender.

They (my husband and his ex wife) are both military, which changes a lot of the laws, how the judicial system works, and prison time (UCMJ). The military is trying to prove a point to the public about sexual assault and rape after all of the controversy, which leads to (in my opinion) a lot of false convictions based on little to no evidence. My husbands case is not an isolated incident unfortunately.

He hit 2 years in a military prison March 15th of this year.

We have been focusing on the appeals. I paid $10,000 for a civilian attorney (because the free military assigned attorneys are either incompetent, overworked, or both) and have been struggling to pay all of our bills on only my income. Part of his sentence was forfeiture of all pay and allowances, effective immediately. I make $30,000 and live in San Diego. We had bills and debt for a dual income family making $80,000.

This last Thursday, after waiting over two years to trudge our way through the appeal courts, hoping and waiting and crying and rocking myself to sleep, holding back tears with the hope that justice would finally be served: our appeal was denied. We have future options (for another $5,000 fee) but they are incredibly slim. It is now very likely that my husband will be labeled a sexually violent criminal for the rest of his life. For something he never did.

Sex offender registry.
Residency restrictions.
Mandatory notification of neighbors.
No travel to most countries.
No work with children.
Limited job prospects.
The list goes on ... (most sex offenders are homeless)

So many repercussions for something he never even did.
And there's nothing I can do about it. For someone who has always tried to control her life, for someone who obsesses over how straight a line is or a half pound of weight variation on the scale, to not have ANY control over such a HUGE issue....I think I'm starting to lose my mind. I was literally laughing and crying at the same time Thursday night. Suicidal Ideations, mania, constant pacing and crying, no sleep for 2 days. I still don't know how I managed it (Hint: alcohol).



My ultimate point in all of this is this:
I want to eat everything. All the time. I think about Jack-In-The-Box constantly. But I need to have control over something right now. So far I've resisted food, but I've been drinking to try and cope. In the end, the calories from the alcohol more than makes up for the food restriction, and I need better strategies to restrict.

I have only 'safe' foods in the fridge right now. I put tape over my credit card to remind myself to not buy any food/alcohol and plan on not buying any more food until I've lost at least 10 pounds. I have hydroxyelite coming in the mail. I started playing an MMORPG to take up time (Black Desert, I have 2 guest passes if anyone wants to play). Also adult coloring books. I have to control myself. I will control myself. I am strong enough to do this. I am, I am, I am.

Even if I can't control the justice the system, Even if I can't control societies opinions and assumptions of my husband, Even if I can't shoulder this burden for him: I can control what I do (or don't) put in my mouth. I can control my weight. I can control my appearance. I will meet a goal, even if it's something as small and inconsequential as my weight.

I will take control. I will FEEL in control. I will regain my sanity.

One fasting hour at a time. I will.

I *have* to



[Rant/Rave] Finally hit a new low
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 27 02:13:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4x9u/finally_hit_a_new_low/
---
And now it's time for Easter breakfast, lunch, eggs and dinner + dessert.

[Rant/Rave] Some gorl at work over guess my weight by almost 40 pounds .....
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Sun Mar 27 01:56:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4w5v/some_gorl_at_work_over_guess_my_weight_by_almost/
---
I feel like crying. Yeah my work uniform looks a little frumpy on me doesn't flatter me at all, but we were talking about weight and when I told her how much I weigh she gasped and was like really?? I was like yeah why? She goes I thought you were at least 145.... I almost broke into tears. Is that really what I fucking look like? I'm in the mid 120s at 5"4' but jesus christ that's so drastic....... I've been skiping the gym unfortunately for the past month but fuck that. Brokaid, gym and coffee are going to be my damn life for the next few weeks till I get below 120. Fuck that. I can't stop thinking if I look so much heavier to people now or if it was just her ):

[Rant/Rave] I'm disgusting and I hate myself
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 01:36:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4urw/im_disgusting_and_i_hate_myself/
---
I'm in the process of drinking a litre of saltwater to flush out my system after the filth I've put into it this weekend.

In 24hrs I drank an entire litre of vodka, 2L of juice, 15 beers, half a litre of milk, and entire bowl of Diane sauce I made.

I'm so ashamed I could cry

(Also on mobile, anyone know if narwhal allows you to add flair?)

[Rant/Rave] Vent
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 26 22:57:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4h3h/vent/
---
Every time I eat my parents are all like "wow you're eating a lot" "wow do you ever stop eating" "wow that's a lot of food"
Even if I eat nothing all day and then go and eat chips and a slice of pizza they'll say that.
They encourage it all and they don't even care. My mom is a fucking lard and never stops eating yet the second I eat I get shamed.

[Tip] Binge food, ladies, binge food that won't make you want to die.
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | 22.7 | -12 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 22:36:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4ex1/binge_food_ladies_binge_food_that_wont_make_you/
---
Two words; Chapman's Sorbet.

http://www.chapmans.ca/Products/Sorbet/#RaspberrySorbet

I love this stuff.

The Triple Berry flavour is so good, it's the best. I love it.

and here's the best part:

TWO WHOLE FUCKING LITRES IS UNDER 1000 CALORIES.

I literally sit in bed and eat this from the carton with a spoon, and I don't even hate myself.

The highest calorie flavour; mango is less than 1500 calories for 2L

It's not the best, but if you want ice cream or to binge on something like that, this stuff is heaven.

I'm in Ontario, Canada, I buy 2L for $3 at Walmart.

Check it out!

(Also, I just realized how this sounds, I'm not a corporate shill, I just fucking love this stuff<3)

[Rant/Rave] Can I vent for a sec?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | 22.7 | -12 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 22:16:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4ctw/can_i_vent_for_a_sec/
---
Okay, more than a sec, cause I am freaking the fuck out. And you are the people that get me and I love you. Is that creepy? I love you internet friends.

I went home for Easter, I wasn't going to, I was going to work (For time AND A HALF, may I add) but a psychiatrist told me not to go to school not to go to work, wrote letters to my employer and my school and told me to go home.

I saw her because I was in the hospital. For an overdose, drunken, stupid overdose. They made me drink charcoal and vomit up everything and they told me if I continue my antidepressant or my EC stack or exercise or even walk too fucking fast I could have a heart attack, so don't.

I'm withdrawing from my anti depressant, I can feel my heart in my chest struggling, I can't exercise, I can't even walk up a hill, I feel miserable.

I have Prozac and Klonopin for the withdrawal and I want to take it all. I know this one would work and I want to do it. I can't do it though, I can't make myself a waste of time for my family like that. How pathetic is that? I don't even fucking care about me, I just don't want to waste my family's time and money.

The only reason I haven't asked for an inpatient program is because I don't want to waste tuition money. I just can't do it.

And I'm eating. I'm eating like a big fat fucking fuck. I had a donut and ice cream yesterday, as well as dinner, I had Easter dinner tonight, and cake, and 2 chocolate bars. and because my Mum is nice I have 1.2 fucking kilograms of Cadbury mini eggs outside my room right now waiting for me tomorrow morning.

I can't go back to where I live until Monday, and my Dad has all these meals planned for me cause he always does when I come home, and I don't know what to do.

I want my EC stack, I miss the gym, I miss the pay from my work, and I miss eating my 10 fucking baby carrots a day and my baby bell cheese and nobody fucking questioning me.

I just want out, this is all too much and I want out. I want to go into the hospital, and just stay. I just want to not worry about school and the temptation to take all my pills, and my work, and my eating cause hospital food is gross anyway.

I want to die, that's the out I really want, but I'm too fucking selfish to even do that, cause I don't want anyone to think badly of me. Even suicidal its all about me.

Fucking fuck fuck fuck.

I wish I could just lose it. I wish I could just break from reality and be done. Live my days in some facility not even knowing what happened. It would be awful for my family and boyfriend though. I really just want an out. Any out. Please any fucking out.

I ate too much and I'm miserable and I want to die. Fuck.

[Rant/Rave] IM SO FUCKING HAPPY!! (Please excuse my French)
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 26 20:58:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c44qo/im_so_fucking_happy_please_excuse_my_french/
---
PEOPLE ARE USING PHOTOS OF ME AS THINSPO!! I feel less fat now. Still not anywhere near my goal.

[Rant/Rave] I'm consistently setting myself back so I'm making this post to hold myself accountable.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 18:52:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3pjd/im_consistently_setting_myself_back_so_im_making/
---
I have done nothing but overeat for almost two weeks now, I have lost the last five pounds of progress by eating shit food and eating a lot of it. I have not been keeping food diaries, and sometimes I don't keep track of what I eat at all. Every night I feel like shit. I stand on the scale and stare in the mirror and feel bad because I can see what I'm doing to myself. I have only done workouts on three of the last ten days.

I am acting worthless and I am better than this. I'm going to get up tomorrow, make an Easter breakfast for my husband, and get back on track. I have an appointment in the making with an amazing tattoo artist a few hours from me for my dream tattoo on my sternum and I *WILL* be AT LEAST ten pounds lighter when that appointment comes, in a month and a half. I have been saving for this for months and I won't fuck it up by being pudgy when the time comes.

Ugh. I just need to get it all down and write it out so its in plain English and not bouncing around my head.

[Help] What do you do with eggs?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 18:49:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3p57/what_do_you_do_with_eggs/
---
I'm trying to eat more of them. I prefer just whites but I want to force myself to have whole eggs. I am not really sure what I can do with them other than scramble them.

[Goal] Todays Goal: Under 1000kcal + Under 120kg
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Sat Mar 26 18:23:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3loi/todays_goal_under_1000kcal_under_120kg/
---
I am a bulimic with binge/purge patterns and recently I have been doing quite well...

My big goal for the last two-ish years has been to get under 120kg. Yesterday, I weighed in at 120kg exactly and I thought today would be the day I reach my goal of getting under it. Nope. After a McDonalds binge, I gained and weighed in at 120.4kg today.

So my big goal for today? To eat under 1000kcal and get under 120kg.

I CAN DO IT.

[Rant/Rave] I hate that
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 18:11:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3k6q/i_hate_that/
---
I am so much more hateful of how I look from the side. I don't give a fat shit how I look dead on. I hate how I look from the side! Anyone else feel that? I feel like I disappoint myself everytime I turn in the mirror):

[Tip] Protein fluff, aka amazing ice cream for ~150cal/QUART!
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 17:50:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3hgg/protein_fluff_aka_amazing_ice_cream_for/
---
Do you guys know about protein fluff? I just discovered it and am obsessed. Basic recipe:

- 1 scoop (30g) whey or casein protein powder, any flavor

- 1/2c any liquid (I use unsweetened vanilla almond milk)

- 1/2t (2g) xanthan gum (can skip if using casein)

Put them in a big bowl and whip with an electric mixer until it's fluffy and greatly increased in volume - today I made over a quart with these quantities! Stick it in the freezer till it's frozen and then binge the fuck out.

With almond milk and my unflavored whey isolate, this came out to ~135 cal for the entire thing. Flavor it however you like - today I added SF vanilla syrup and blueberries, I've also done cocoa powder and sweetener plus stevia-sweetened chocolate chips; mint extract and chips; and orange zest + orange Mio and vanilla for creamsicle!


[Discussion] Anyone play the hypocrite when giving others advice?
/u/nirekha [5'3" | 104 | 18.93]
Created: Sat Mar 26 16:36:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c37sf/anyone_play_the_hypocrite_when_giving_others/
---
I used to be really into nutrition/fitness so when people ask me for tips, I'm careful about emphasizing things like the importance of body composition over weight, mindful food choices, hitting the right macros, accepting cheat days, not being overly restrictive, etc. Obviously when it comes to myself, all of that goes right out the window. I'm ok with eating junk as long as I continue to lose. I punish myself when I mess up. And even though I know plateaus are normal and water retention's a bitch, nothing's gonna stop me from weighing myself obsessively while freaking out over every fluctuation.

I can't imagine the shame of being found out. No one knows how absolute shit it is to have disordered thoughts towards food and exercise than those who deal with it every single day, especially everyone struggling in this sub. I guess it's a need to do everything I can to steer others away from the slippery slope.

[Discussion] Feeling the same size after significant weight loss?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 15:36:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c2zq0/feeling_the_same_size_after_significant_weight/
---
I have now reached my first goal weight of 135, and feel just as fat in the belly as I felt at 163. My goal is 123, and I'm as focused as ever on getting there in a fast but sustainable way, but now I'm worried that it won't be enough. That I'll get to 123 and feel like I still have more to lose.

123 is my goal weight both because it's a super cool number and also because it puts me exactly at an 18.5 BMI. I can't go lower than that because my husband and I have a trust between us that I can do whatever I like with my body as long as I stay healthy. Any size, any body fat %, any exercise program is fine as long as I am healthy. To dip into an underweight BMI would break that trust and even though he would never know unless I told him, I can't break that trust. It's too precious to me.

So I have to be ok when I get to 123. I have to be happy there. Any ideas on how to make sure I will be? That I won't still feel whale-like when I hit my goal?

[Thinspo] A pinterest for thinspo- myanaspace.com
/u/PrincessElla
Created: Sat Mar 26 14:56:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c2ufw/a_pinterest_for_thinspo_myanaspacecom/
---
http://www.myanaspace.com

[Help] I am one pound away from underweight and my willpower is getting shaky, inspire me to continue?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 26 12:59:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c2dvg/i_am_one_pound_away_from_underweight_and_my/
---
I am on day two of a fast and I have a stressful 5 hour work shift tonight so I am very close to bingeing. However, my boyfriend is gone until tomorrow morning and I could absolutely continue my fast until then.

I just hit 108, I am so close to my goals. Help me stay focused please


[Tip] A little tip for all you skinny minnies <3
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 12:29:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c29he/a_little_tip_for_all_you_skinny_minnies_3/
---
If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple,
You don't need to eat anything at all.

[thinspo](http://www.skinnygossip.com/thursday-thinspo-models-eating-backstage/)



[Rant/Rave] Im back
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Sat Mar 26 10:40:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1udc/im_back/
---
I subscribed last summer and reached a low of 120 at 5'9. Shit began to hit the fan and my family became really annoying (mom began to seek counseling and began to sob everytime I refused to eat). So I thought "this is fine. I can maintain this. Fuck ED's right?". FUCK . Over the school year I tried to come to terms with my weight and stopped restricting and sure enough I gained 23 lbs over 3 months. My pants feel tiny and I cant see ribs anymore. I used to have a thin face and now Its rounded. I never thought I would be one of those people who screw up and relapsed but here I am.

[Thinspo] Had a personal lingerie photoshoot today and it's the first time I've really liked my legs. Sharing for possible thinspo
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Mar 26 10:39:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1u6j/had_a_personal_lingerie_photoshoot_today_and_its/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Um9pD

[Discussion] What do you think is the perfect BMI?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 10:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1pjh/what_do_you_think_is_the_perfect_bmi/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1pjh/what_do_you_think_is_the_perfect_bmi/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 26 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1owj/daily_food_diary_march_26_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Girls who lost their period because of their ED
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Mar 26 09:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1hnn/girls_who_lost_their_period_because_of_their_ed/
---
At what BMI/after how long did this happen? I'm (still) at a BMI of 19 right now and lost 22 Lb in about 2 1/2 month. Is this what could be happening? I can't be pregnant and I haven't had a lot of stress either. Already 2,5 weeks late.

[Discussion] Same old story, hit my first goal weight then binged it away. Why do we do this?
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Sat Mar 26 08:53:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1fm2/same_old_story_hit_my_first_goal_weight_then/
---
Time and time again we post about hitting our goal weight and immediately binging it away. I want to discuss why. Last night was my second uncontrolled binge of thr month, which makes March my best month in years as far as not binging but I did it after hitting 145, a goal I've wanted for 4 years.

Why do we do it?

I think a small part of me wants to switch to maintaining. It was my first of 3 goal weights before ultimate goal weight and my mind just flipped to "hold on to this" mode.

Another reason is maybe I am a dog, to be rewarded with food. I get quite bitchy sometimes.

Why do you do it?

[Goal] Weekend goal
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Sat Mar 26 08:43:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1edi/weekend_goal/
---
I finally got a new weight today at 96.4. I haven't seen this number in maybe 4 years. I want to be under 95 next week and that can only happen if I exercise self-control and remember my goals.

It is never worth it to binge. I am in control of what I do with a craving or an urge. Just because I feel something doesn't mean I have to act on it.

This weekend I will eat around 600 calories and move my lazy body for a hike and possibly a run. I am so out of shape and it shows.

Also, I'm going to do ONE social thing this weekend. Loneliness and isolation is driving me crazy...and feeling suicidal. I can't lose more weight if I'm dead. Maybe that is a sad way to think, but it is what it is. Seriously, losing weight has helped a lot with the depression. Meh. Im going to plan on doing something with this meetup group with strangers today

[Rant/Rave] I hit a steady low
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 07:09:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c13pj/i_hit_a_steady_low/
---
And of course I binged bad! Man am I disappointed. I smoked and had the worst chocolate cravings in the world. I was pretty fucking good ALL day and bam. Night time rolls around to fuck my life up. Binged on popcorn, fiber bars, a kit kat, a recees, and peanut butter and took 2 Alli pills. You can imagine what my stomach feels like right now lmao. I'm glad I woke up earlier than everyone this morning and took a really long walk. I plan to walk 3 more times today since my boyfriend (who I feel like I've barely seen and is leaving monday) is going out with his friend and to see some family. I might be invited but I feel intrusive...idk. I'm kinda upset about that too. I torture myself on purpose :/ i logged the chocolate part of my binge into my calories for today as extra motivation. I will be beautiful and i will be happy and i will be a good mom and i will be a good girlfriend and i will smile today.

[Goal] Posting for accountability this weekend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 26 07:05:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c13cp/posting_for_accountability_this_weekend/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] How can I say no to myself?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 06:14:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c0yqn/how_can_i_say_no_to_myself/
---
I've complained about it before in a comment, but I'm in the last 3 weeks of my university, and in that time period, I will have 3 tests, 3 essays (two completely in german), 2 "challenge projects" and then just day to day homework. And then I have a long distance boyfriend, with whom I skype 1-3 hours every day because that's like the one thing I look forward to in my life. And then I also teach English as a second language on thursdays 7pm-9pm, but there's a one hour commute each way. And I tutor German for four different people; 7:30-9pm Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday and then 1-2:30 on sunday and 5-6pm on thursday. And I also have group therapy for a sexual assault from 3-4:30 on thursday and a minicourse that runs 8:45am-1pm on Saturdays and then oh yeah, do you want to work out? yea I do, maybe like an hour to two a day if I could have it my way. Where does this leave me?

with multiple binges a week because I'm burned out and I have no energy to say no to my brain, who's an asshole and apparently wants to see me obese. My stomach is stretched so tight against my skin, it's almost like I have abs. This is fucking ridiculous, and I keep telling myself "only three more weeks, only three more weeks". But do you know the damage I can do to my progress in three weeks? I was once able to gain 10lbs in a week. And not all of that was water weight, let me assure you.

Fuck. Im so fucking done. I don't trust myself or my self control and I hate it. I hate this feeling of fullness. I want to be light. I want to be ethereal and have that feeling of superiority. And now all I feel is the food just sinking in my stomach.

[Help] Cheated on my MC 2 days before exams
/u/ixxybitsy [5'3 | 146.8 lbs | 26.72 | -36 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 03:32:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c0muh/cheated_on_my_mc_2_days_before_exams/
---
Help! :( I just cheated on my MC, purged and feel like a stupid POS right now for giving in to my parents. I don't know what to do.

So I was doing the master cleanse with exams coming up in 7 days, because from what I read people generally feel like shit the first 3 days and are fine after that. Today, which is day 5 of my cleanse, my parents and I went out and they basically parent pressured me to eat in front of them. They have never respected my requests to not mention food to me and to stop offering me food, and they actively push food on me which is so annoying. So I ended up eating half a burger, approx 15 fries, 2 tbsp each ketchup and hot sauce, an half of a lemon rainbow cupcake.

I felt awful right after, my stomach was in shock after 5 days of not eating anything solid to having greasy unhealthy shit clogging it. I had to purge as soon as it didn't look suspicious. Couldn't even hack up most of the burger as it already too far down my digestive system.

And I remembered my exams. If I restart the fast today it means that I'll feel like shit on exam day, and it might affect my score drastically. But at the same time I don't want to quit the MC just because my parents got me to eat one freaking time! I feel like they're secretly lording it over me that my attempts to escape being a part of the fat people family tree was foiled by their pushing food. I thought of three options:

1. Ease back into eating right now, go back to fasting/MC the day after exams
2. Keep doing MC and eat moderately on exam day
3. Stop MC, go back on the weekend so it doesn't interfere with school

What's the best way to handle completing master cleanse but staying clear headed enough on exam day?

[Tip] THIS WILL CHANGE UR LIFE IF U EXPEREINCE CONSTIPATION WHILE RESTRICTING
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Sat Mar 26 02:50:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c0k1y/this_will_change_ur_life_if_u_expereince/
---
[removed]

[Help] How do you have any energy to do anything?
/u/Foodisbadmmkay
Created: Fri Mar 25 22:21:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzxl4/how_do_you_have_any_energy_to_do_anything/
---
I struggle so much everytime I try to restrict or water fast! I live with my parents, and when someone cooks, the food smells so good it makes my stomach growl and my resolve to disappear. The worst thing though is the lack of energy. I'm on an EC stack (200 mg caffeine, 24 mg ephedrine, once as soon as I wake up and the other around noon, I can't take a third dose or I won't sleep at night), but even with that, when I fast all I have the energy for is to be in bed or on the couch with a blanket on me, redditing or sleeping the day away. I can't clean my room, or shower, or even do my nails. I don't even have the energy to get up and get a glass of water!

How do you get the energy to do something to distract you from how hungry you are? Please help!

Edit: Guys, we've got a troll in our midst, please don't feed, just ignore and eventually he/she will get bored and go find something else to do :-) Thanks!

[Rant/Rave] The people around me are so triggering I cannot stop fucking up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 21:49:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzu20/the_people_around_me_are_so_triggering_i_cannot/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How do you fight restriction-related binge urges?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 20:53:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bznqc/how_do_you_fight_restrictionrelated_binge_urges/
---
I have binge urges and sometimes binge cycles but usually they are emotional (or alcoholic), not physical. Recently I have been craving food in a way that I'm sure is because my restriction is driving me a bit nuts. I've never dealt with this for more than a day or two before. I think it's because I'm not getting enough protein, but unfortunately I can't really afford (financially) to eat more protein than I am right now. Do you think a day or two of maintenance would fix it? Or would that just make it worse? All I have in the house is safe food, and I always feel bad wasting it on high-cal days, if that makes sense....

Fastest way to lose weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 19:59:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzhdc/fastest_way_to_lose_weight/
---
[removed]

[Intro] Not Sure I Belong Here
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 19:51:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzgee/not_sure_i_belong_here/
---
So I've been lurking here for a bit (I'm fairly active on reddit under my main account, I just made this one to post here). I don't think I really belong, but my eating, exercising and calorie counting have been becoming super obsessive lately. I set out to lose some weight. I'm down about 60 pounds (Roughly 196-135 at 5'4). And most of that was done in a healthy way. But the last couple of months, not so much anymore.

Lately, I find myself restricting more and more. And upping my exercise substantially. I'm terrified of gaining the weight back and I still want to lose more. I've been telling people who don't really know me that I'm done losing. People who know me really well (my mom and my husband) I've been saying 10 more pounds. But to myself, I've been saying another 30. Which would put me at a BMI of 18.5. The lowest I can be without really being underweight.

I was always under the impression that EDs just sort of were or were not. I didn't think you could acquire one out of nowhere. Especially at this age. (I'm in my mid 30s).

My brain does almost nothing anymore except figure out the calories in everything. How much can I eat. How much each exercise burns. It's starting to consume my life. I know I should be afraid and concerned, but honestly I'm not. I just feel so gross and fat. Every pound I lose I feel lighter and happier.

Again I don't think I have an ED, but something is not right. Does disordered eating often start after losing some weight in a healthy way? Or am I just a crazy person?

[Goal] cleaning everything out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 19:12:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzbi3/cleaning_everything_out/
---
[deleted]

This honestly makes me sick
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 17:12:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4byvq8/this_honestly_makes_me_sick/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vH_9pgWExY

[Rant/Rave] I think restricting is improving my riding!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 15:53:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4byl01/i_think_restricting_is_improving_my_riding/
---
I started restricting this week after several weeks of discouragingly trying to lose weight the healthy way. I "recovered" from anorexia then ended up gaining a ton of weight back. Anyways, this is my first time *really* restricting in over a year probably.

I've lost 2.4 pounds since Monday and I feel amazing (I think I've lost more but my period is causing me to retain a lot of water weight). Restricting has become so easy. This is my first period of "long term" restricting since I bought my horse in October 2014. I had a lesson today and my trainer was beyond impressed with my riding. She was speechless.

Honestly, I was worried about riding today because I was pretty dizzy when I woke up this morning. I don't know if losing weight has made my riding better or the confidence *from* losing weight is making me perform better in the saddle. Whatever it is, I'm feeling super super super awesome. I have a horse riding competition in 2 weeks and hopefully I can keep up this momentum.

Bah! Just wanted to share some positivity with you all and give you all a huge thanks for being such an awesome community.

[Intro] Hi there!
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 179 | 28.0 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 13:49:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4by2jv/hi_there/
---
I've been lurking on and off on my personal account for a few months now, but I keep seeing posts I want to participate in! I'm 18 years old, soon to be 19, and I don't have an ED, but have struggled with disordered eating for as long as I can remember. At the most extreme, I was eating between 200-500 calories a day for a pretty long stretch a couple of years ago. I used to be part of the tumblr ED community when that was a thing, but from what I can tell it has deteriorated a lot due to tumblr's rules. I was eating pretty normally for a while (two years maybe?) after getting into a lot of working out and being with my s/o (who is a pretty bad influence for overeating) and I gained a ton of weight. At my lightest adult weight I was 155lb and at my heaviest (this year) I was over 200lb and no longer exercising. This fall I cut down to 1200 calories a day to try to lose weight the healthy way. Counting calories and all that came with it kind of plunged me back into heavily restricting again. I also slacked a bit for like six weeks between February and March and regained almost 5 pounds, so that's definitely not helping my mental state. So here I am, and I'm finally going to do it this time. I'm so tired of hating what I see in the mirror.

[Rant/Rave] My goal today
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Fri Mar 25 13:47:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4by2ay/my_goal_today/
---
I need to fast and gym. Tons of water and tea and coffee with almond milk. that's the only exception. I cannot fuck this up. I've been doing so bad lately and I have to stay on track. I'm so disappointed in myself I seriously feel like a cow. ):

[Discussion] Your smoothie recipe!
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 13:38:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4by0w4/your_smoothie_recipe/
---
What is (are) the recipe(s) you use for smoothies? Curious Ü

[Goal] I'm not going to believe it
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 13:12:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bxwt0/im_not_going_to_believe_it/
---
But here is what my scale is reading right now.... http://imgur.com/Yng316S but I look fatter than I have the past few days! I just don't get it :/

[Help] Greasy hair and skin fix exchange!
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Mar 25 12:43:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bxs2r/greasy_hair_and_skin_fix_exchange/
---
I know, I know, I should remember to take multivitamins and fish oil tablets more but they can only help so much.

So anyone want to share any cosmetics or routines they go through to keep hair from going lank and skin looking all grey and bad?

[Discussion] Nose bleeds from purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 12:17:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bxnt5/nose_bleeds_from_purging/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How much water do you guys drink?
/u/kongjinho [5'3" | 147.9 | 26.2 | -9 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 10:25:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bx5wx/how_much_water_do_you_guys_drink/
---
Hi! This is my first post here so I hope I'm doing it right.
Today I've had a lot of easter candy (sometimes I wish I lived alone, I would never buy this stuff!!) and I feel kinda bad but I'm still at a deficit. So the thing I'm worried about is water retention, since I've had a lot of carbs. How much water do you guys drink when you know you've had food that's full of carbs/salt/whatever? Is it possible to completely prevent water retention by drinking a certain amount? Or is this a really stupid question? Thank you!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 25 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bx258/daily_food_diary_march_25_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] I finally downloaded MFP and Plant Nanny
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 09:56:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bx187/i_finally_downloaded_mfp_and_plant_nanny/
---
I finally started really looking at calories instead of just cutting down portions as I have been because I get obsessive over calorie counting really bad, and holy shit have I been overeating in general and cutting down barely puts me at 1200 per day, which I guess is better than the likely 2000 I was eating a day. I've been drinking so much more water too. Just feeling very weird. Also, I was looking through my medical records for shits and giggles and apparently I used to be 181 and now I'm 157. How the fuck did I go up so much without even really noticing or my bf noticing? At least I know now and have the tools to make things better. This community helps so much too.

[Tip] Some low calorie sweets you all might enjoy!
/u/fattygod [164cm | 48.5kg | 18.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 09:06:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bwtjw/some_low_calorie_sweets_you_all_might_enjoy/
---
I found this stuff called "Zevia", it's a non gmo certified, zero calorie soda sweetened with Reb A (stuff from stevia leaves I think), 4g of erythritol per serving, and monk fruit! It's delicious, curbs my sweets cravings, and it's guilt free! You all should try some! Anyone else know of anything similar? Preferably without sucrulose, aspartame, sorbitol, or larger amounts of erythritol?

[Intro] 15lbs left 'til I'm not a giant tub of lard :D
/u/ixxybitsy [5'3 | 146.8 lbs | 26.72 | -36 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 08:36:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bwp48/15lbs_left_til_im_not_a_giant_tub_of_lard_d/
---
Hi guys! I've been lurking around Reddit for a long time, but this is the first time I have made an account. I'm nervous about posting, but here goes:

I've always been a giant lump of fat ever since I was young. We're talking about the baby whale variety of girth here. Last Christmas I decided that I had enough.

I've gone from weighing 185 lbs last Christmas to being currently 152 lbs. Been trying to lose weight the slow, healthy way since I'm seeing the school nutritionist regularly. As time goes by though I find myself counting calories obsessively, purging, and having my mood affected whether I had a "good" or "bad" day in terms of calories.

Recently Holy Week is happening in our country and it's a big deal here; lots of people fast, self-flagellate, etc. during that time and it's normal so I'm using that as an excuse to go master cleansing for two weeks. I make myself a 450 cal pitcher of lemonade each day and some days I don't finish the whole thing. I'm happy with that. :) Wish I could do more but I live with my family and my mother is stay-at-home so she notices things pretty quickly.

ProED has really helped me stay off bingeing. The community feels so warm and accepting, I'm glad I found it. I used the BMI calculator on the sidebar and I'm just 15 lbs away from being a giant tub of lard (overweight BMI) to a slightly smaller tub of lard (normal BMI)! I'm so excited. I started the year obese as per my nutritionist, now I'm still overweight but I'm getting there. And hopefully I can go underweight as well!

My stats:
Female, 20 years old, 5' 3"
HW: 185 lbs
CW: 152 lbs
GW1: 130 lbs
GW2: 110 lbs
GW3: 90-80 lbs, or when I finally get a thigh gap

[Thinspo] It's thinspo FriYAY!!!!! (heh that was funny. LAUGH.) #3 :)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 08:31:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bwofe/its_thinspo_friyay_heh_that_was_funny_laugh_3/
---
http://imgur.com/a/UwMAO

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! March 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 25 06:02:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bw5wg/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_march_25/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for March 25, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Reversespo from family
/u/dryputhy [6'3" |161| 18.9 | M]
Created: Fri Mar 25 03:01:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bvt05/reversespo_from_family/
---
My family is better than any thinspo. I got all my younger brother's shorts because they didn't fit him any more. He said a while back "I don't think I'm (dryputhy's) size [when he was my age]" Not to mention the fact that they constantly graze on food and it shows. My mom got a gastric bypass and she's getting closer to another. She has big bumpy thighs because she gains weight the same way I do.

Does anyone else have similar experiences?

[Help] Weight gain
/u/fuchsiadroplet
Created: Fri Mar 25 01:44:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bvoze/weight_gain/
---
I used to weigh 95 lbs. I feel my best at 95-100 lbs. After I got with my bf I gained a lot of weight, now I'm 120 lbs.
Any body else feel the struggle once they're in a relationship they gain weight? He is lucky he's so skinny at 110 lbs but he eats so much junk and stays the same while I'm always getting food cravings with him. How do you avoid that? :(

[Discussion] Has anyone ever used melatonin to dull hunger?
/u/b7d [5'11 | 165 | 22.21 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 00:08:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bvhc8/has_anyone_ever_used_melatonin_to_dull_hunger/
---
I've noticed that whenever I take melatonin (between 5mg-30mg) I immediately loose any overwhelming hunger that I have for 2-3 hours after and I don't really get that sleep especially if it's during the day. Has anyone ever used this method to fight temptations?

[Rant/Rave] My new guiltless pleasure!
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 20:36:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4buuj0/my_new_guiltless_pleasure/
---
OMG you guys!!! I just bought the Blue Bunny Sweet Freedom Fudge Bars. Chocolate ice cream bars made with Splenda. Each bar is only 35 calories. They take a while to eat, and they're individually wrapped, so it's harder to overeat. They taste really, really good. I was so excited, I had to share it with you all!

[Rant/Rave] It's not fair!
/u/SmokeyTheVaper
Created: Thu Mar 24 20:33:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4buu68/its_not_fair/
---
I -was- the thinnest girl at my work (not surprising cause all I work with are fat people) until this new bitch got hired and she is so skinny lile thinapo and hate rolled into one.


I guess I will restrict until ~she~ is jealous of me. 99lbs here I come.

[Discussion] What's on your grocery shopping list?
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 20:16:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4buryp/whats_on_your_grocery_shopping_list/
---
Personally, I'm a HCLF vegan. This is my typical shopping list!



Broccoli


Cauliflower


Mushrooms


Eggplant


Green peppers


Bell peppers


Green chilies


Peaches


Sweet potatoes


Russet potatoes


Garbanzo beans


Black beans


Corn


Brown rice


Red lentils


Blueberries




Grapes


Bananas




Zucchini or squash


Daiya vegan cheese


Almond milk


Hot sauce


I usually have spices on hand as is. Those include oregano, basil, black pepper, red pepper, paprika, sea salt (the master salt imo), chili pepper, tumeric, and sriracha spice.

What's on yours?

[Tip] Just a reminder..
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Thu Mar 24 19:31:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bum84/just_a_reminder/
---
http://i.imgur.com/EpZEm6o.jpg

[Rant/Rave] I fucked up!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 17:57:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bu9nl/i_fucked_up/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Using laxatives (possibly TMI)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 17:27:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bu5j1/using_laxatives_possibly_tmi/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Do any of you guys lift? Please share your tips and routines!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:54:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bu0ri/do_any_of_you_guys_lift_please_share_your_tips/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] DAE get embarrassingly emotional over food?
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 143.4 | 23.68 | -19.6 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:45:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btzb5/dae_get_embarrassingly_emotional_over_food/
---
I mean, Jesus. Sometimes I act crazy. A few months ago, after planning all day to have a low cal tomato soup for dinner, my parents changed their minds and decided to order pizza. I actually went into my room and cried. I mean, they weren't forcing me to eat the pizza, I still could have had the soup, but I was just so worried about pizza even *being* in the house that I freaked out. And now tonight it turns out they're ordering Chinese. I guess I'm just so nervous that I won't have any self control? When did high calorie food become something that I can't even stand to be around because I'm too afraid that I'll binge?

[Help] Have no idea how many calories I can eat to lose weight
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:44:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btz5c/have_no_idea_how_many_calories_i_can_eat_to_lose/
---
I don't trust the BMR calculator that says I can eat over 1200 and maintain, laying in bed...it just doesn't seem right. I've eaten that before, and I think I hoovered around 110 lbs (50 kg). That is so much food..."normal" people can eat that much and not be underweight.


I binge/purge a lot, so it's hard to know how many calories I have been retaining. My weight loss has some to a long plateau...I haven't lost anything this month. From experience, I know that I've hit a point in weight where I seriously need to reduce binging/purging to continue losing weight. I binge/purge so much it is ridiculous...it stops here. I'm not losing weight anymore.


I am making a serious effort to pre-plan meals better and to make it harder for me to b/p. But I feel like I am clueless when it comes to meal planning. I want to make 600 calories my max, but I don't know if that is enough to lose steadily on. I definitely feel like at 1000, all I might do is maintain and even gain.


Help? I think meal planning will give me more structure but I want a "good" number to go by to lose steadily, not too little that I feel compelled to binge, but not so much that I see almost no progress and get discouraged. I want to be under 93 lbs (42 kg) soon, and it won't happen until I exert more self-control.


Edit: good grief, I'm overly sensitive to being downvoted...I apologize for being uncertain about intake. I spend a shit ton of time b/p and I honestly just don't know what I "need" calorie wise.

[Discussion] Freaking Out: Thigh Gaps Not Possible?
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 121.2 lbs | 24.93 | -20.8 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:37:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bty5w/freaking_out_thigh_gaps_not_possible/
---
**Mini rant before I start:** Hey, alright so let me just start off saying that I had a terrible week food wise and even worse day. I binged and purged so much that I honestly can't even see my collar bones anymore :( (not that they were that prominent yet anyway). And I haven't updated my flair yet but I woke up 118.2 and I'm sure it'll be even worse tomorrow.

ANYWAY, I was just freaking out because I saw an article saying that you can only get a thigh gap if you're bowlegged/your knees don't touch from the start. Does anyone know if this is true? Getting a thigh gap is my main weight loss inspo (fuck, I'd even settle for a keyhole gap this week has been so bad).

I'm not even sure if this post makes sense I'm sorta just having a breakdown and desperate. I'll try posting a photo of my legs later so you can all see what I mean.

[Goal] Thanks proED! I finally reached my goal of losing 50lbs!
/u/ThanksProED [6'5 | 190 | 22.53 | 50lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:14:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btur5/thanks_proed_i_finally_reached_my_goal_of_losing/
---
On Christmas Eve I weighed 240lbs. As of today I weigh 190lbs! Eating 1000 calories a day does wonders! I would have never been able to do it without tips from you guys! Thank you all so much!

[Rant/Rave] Coworker brought in chocolate Easter bunnies for everyone :(
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 15:36:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btowk/coworker_brought_in_chocolate_easter_bunnies_for/
---
He put one on my keyboard, it's 533kcal, more than my anticipated daily intake. I've already eaten the ears and it isn't 7:30am.

I've been so good at avoiding buying chocolate because I have no self control. A whole week of success has been undone by one kind gesture.

[Help] Newb question
/u/SmokeyTheVaper
Created: Thu Mar 24 15:24:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btmzw/newb_question/
---
Hey all, z
So I am kind of a lurker but you are all so nice and I found a post about someone's first 24 hour fast and I have a question.


So I do a sort of group excercise every week, normally I eat something beforehand, but I am attempting a 24 hour fast. I am also extremely competitive. Will not eating affect my performance?

[Rant/Rave] goddamnit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 15:16:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btlti/goddamnit/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] When you think you are okay
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Thu Mar 24 14:55:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btifi/when_you_think_you_are_okay/
---
When you think you are okay, and then you have a panic attack in a cafe.



My husband took me out for dessert this evening. I made him pork pho for dinner, so a pretty light meal. We aren't noodle fans, so I just put on extra veggies instead of rice vermicelli. I had only had green tea, water, and some of the broth with bean sprouts today and felt great. In my mind, a waffle and a scoop of chocolate ice cream were completely reasonable and well within my caloric budget. I took a seat at the cafe and my husband went to the till to place our order. A few minutes later a waitress comes with a strawberries crepe for him and a waffle for me. Except there was nutella all over my waffle, like someone had had explosive diarrhea all over the top of it. I liked nutella at one point, it's okay, but it's not something I want a lot of. Instead of going back to the counter and correcting my order I had an internal freak out.



My hands started shaking and my heart started pounding. All I could think about was how many calories was in that nutella (I didn't even actually know , but my brain was telling me thousands which I know is unreasonable). Then I started thinking about who orders nutella drenched waffles. I don't order them, do fat girls order them? Did the person taking my order think I'm fat? I shouldn't have even ordered a waffle and ice cream I'll get fat.



My husband realized something was wrong, and started scraping of all the nutella and putting it to the side. He had removed a half cup it seemed, and there was still more. I couldn't eat it, even with the nutella gone I couldn't it. I was saying the phrase "I can't eat it" over and over again. I must have looked insane. I feel insane right now...



We left before he even finished his dessert, I feel awful. Not only did I embarrass him, I made him spend €20 on something we didn't even get to eat... I don't know what happened, I've been fine for so long but the nutella just triggered something in me that oily chocolate smell and thick viscous way it was spilled over everything just sent me over some kind of cliff. I don't really know the point of the post I just had to vent some of these weird feelings out

[Discussion] Questions About EC Stacks- I'd Love To Hear Your Experience
/u/paradisedeparted [5'3" | 110 | 20.02 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 14:41:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btg9h/questions_about_ec_stacks_id_love_to_hear_your/
---
So recently I bought myself some bronkaid and caffeine pills. I took 1 bronkaid and 100 mg caffeine in the morning today, but am wondering how often I should take this to maximize the appetite suppressant qualities, but also not interrupt my sleeping schedule. I know some people redose again, but I was curious as to how long I should wait. Also, is there anything I should avoid on EC stacks, or that I should try in combination? Any general information or experiences would be great to hear about! Thanks in advance you guys!

[Rant/Rave] Too Fat to Donate Plasma
/u/ShitizenSnips [5'9" | 182 | 26.39 | +2 | Neutral]
Created: Thu Mar 24 13:54:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bt8fq/too_fat_to_donate_plasma/
---
My husband went out to donate plasma a few weeks ago, and told me that if he referred someone we'd get $100, so I figured I'd go, because the extra $100 could be spent on Dark Souls III when it comes out in a few weeks and donating to help others is never a bad idea, right?

We get there bright and early, I get all signed in, and they take me back to check my blood and check my veins. Blood check shows I'm good to go, so they get me all set up and start prodding my arm to figure out where they want to stick me. My veins are naturally a bit deep in my arm, but the man sitting next to me was easily 300lb so I am not worried.

Guys, they could not find a single. vein. in. my. arm. The nurse trying to find a good vein gave up after a few minutes and called over another, older nurse to help her, which was horrifying in and of itself, and the older nurse said I had a "nice layer of fat" and the fat layer + the inset nature of my veins meant I was "never going to be a good candidate for plasma donation". Then said, "Don't worry honey, some people just don't have good veins." Yet the room is filled with sketchy people, many of which are overweight and obese. I am worse than a room full of unhealthy people.

I hate myself so much I want to die. I'm so gross and horrible and fat that I can't even help others or my family by donating plasma. I go back and look at my bank statements and if I wouldn't spend so much money on GAINING WEIGHT we'd have more than enough to get by. I made a promise to myself that I will not stop restricting and exercising until I reach my UGW of 130lbs and stop being such an ugly, disgusting, useless waste of space. Since I panic and binge anytime I get into the low 170's I will weigh myself facing away and have my thin friend look at the number and remind me I'm a fat piece of shit that needs to try harder.

If you ever needed a cautionary tale about being a fat shit, here it is. You literally cannot do anything without your gross disgusting fatness getting in the way and ruining everything. Never be fat like me if you can manage it.

[Help] Weight loss before working out?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 12:32:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bsvi3/weight_loss_before_working_out/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Need help, on psych meds and my usual methods of restriction have caused me to gain weight not lose it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 11:57:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bspod/need_help_on_psych_meds_and_my_usual_methods_of/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Let us all pray for my period to come soon
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 24 11:38:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bsmdb/let_us_all_pray_for_my_period_to_come_soon/
---
I'm two weeks late now, bloated, in a terrible mood, full with ugly face demons and ugh, hurry up you mother nature.

[Rant/Rave] Damn you water weight!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 10:42:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bsd4a/damn_you_water_weight/
---
I've been restricting to 500-700 calories a day this week and the scale hasn't budged! I know 100% it's because I've been eating soup for dinner every night (I hate that soup is so low cal but soooo high in sodium) and the sodium is causing me to retain a ton of water weight.

I look and feel much thinner, so I've clearly lost some weight. I'm going to avoid soup today (even though that's the only "dinner" food I have at home) and probably restrict to less than 300 today.

Hopefully tomorrow morning the scale has budged since I'd have consumed less sodium today.

[Discussion] Fruit??
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Thu Mar 24 10:24:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bsa8v/fruit/
---
Ok so.. Do ya'll eat fruit? I love fruit but honestly I can't justify the calories.. Do ya'll consider fruit to be high calorie too? Or am I just a werido lol? Thanks!!!

[Rant/Rave] I'm disgusting...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 10:22:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bs9xl/im_disgusting/
---
I'm sorry for not flairing this I'm on mobile...

I've been having a tough time with binges recently. Gained 10 fucking pounds. Ugh... my therapist told me I'm being ridiculous for crying about it. "10 pounds is nothing for someone as tall as you" he said. Yeah okay.

But on top of that today I went to the store and bought groceries... I ended up driving home and chewing and spitting out and entire bag of popcorn and 4 pieces of banana bread. I feel gross, but still not full. So I guess it's okay. I know I probably absorbed a ton of calories from chewing and spitting but I couldn't stop. I've never chewed and spitted before either so this is just a new horrible habit on top of restricting, binging, and laxatives.

Bleh... I just needed to vent I feel shitty.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 24 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bs6k2/daily_food_diary_march_24_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Tip] PSA: egg whites
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 09:33:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bs1qm/psa_egg_whites/
---
My new favorite secretly low-calorie food: egg whites.

Only 17 calories, with 3.6 grams of protein each! That means you could have a huge plate of eggs for under 100 calories! I'm really excited. I'd been logging my egg whites as whole eggs for months before realizing that removing the yolk saves a whole 55 calories.

[Help] Post purge tips?
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 09:19:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4brzll/post_purge_tips/
---
How can I feel better after I purge/ not want to binge immediately again? My throat is raw and hurts and my face gets all swollen. I was just wondering if people had tips on how to feel better.

[Rant/Rave] I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake
/u/goodbyetumtum [5'5 | 161.2 | 27.14 | -28.8 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 08:18:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4brq62/i_made_an_embarrassingly_stupid_mistake/
---
I am so embarrassed and upset right now! I checked my school's online nutrition facts earlier this morning, and it said a serving of chocolate chip pancakes is only 315 calories. The pancakes they serve are about 5.5 inches in diameter and come in sets of three. I figured I could have this, coffee for lunch, and a small dinner and end up with a great day. Literally as I was taking my last bite, I realized the site meant 315 calories PER pancake. In what fantasy land would a single pancake only be 105 calories anyway??? I feel so so stupid! I'm alone in an empty classroom crying and I look like such a fool. I didn't purge which I guess is something, but I feel like the world's biggest fatass. Like, I don't even deserve to be thin if I'm going to make such embarrassing mistakes.

[Help] Help! How do you say no to food pushers?!
/u/MermaidHeart [5'6" | 127lbs | 21.1 | 16lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Mar 24 07:23:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4brir3/help_how_do_you_say_no_to_food_pushers/
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I have a friend who sees food as her "life." She gains, I think, like 10lbs a month, and its scary how big she got. I definitely did not want to look like that, so I've been hardcore restricting my calories. The problem is, she equates food to pleasure, and CONSTANTLY pushes food onto me. We go shopping? FOOD BREAK! We go on a walk? PIZZA BREAK! We want to watch TV? Don't even get me started........

She's constantly tryign to sabotage my diet, and if I say no to food, she BEGS and pleads until I eat something.

How do you handle a situation like this? How do you say no without raising alarms?

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 24 06:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4br9hl/weekly_emotional_support_march_24_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] I feel like I post too much, but fuck it, I need to rant
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 05:56:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4br8w3/i_feel_like_i_post_too_much_but_fuck_it_i_need_to/
---
So over the past two or three months, I've been messing around with different levels of restriction or eating normally and working out normally and trying to be normal. My disordered eating has also been brought up in therapy, and one of the things that stuck and made sense to me was that the binging that so plagued me was most likely triggered by the heavy restriction I would do.

And that makes sense.

But fuck that noise. Because you know what? For the past fucking week I've tried to do the "eat 20% fewer calories than your TDEE to lose weight at a sustainable pace", and guess what? Fuck me, I've binged 3 out of the 6 days. And it's been similar any time I've tried to reclaim some sort of healthy relationship with food. It's like the actual act of eating triggers me.

So if I binge just as much, if not even fucking more, when I eat regularly, why the fuck would I eat regularly. This is stupid. I'm so frustrated. Everything sounded like a really good idea, but the difference between restrict/restrict/restrict/binge and normal/normal/binge/normal/binge is that with one you'll either lose weight or stay the same and the other you'll either stay the same or gain. (This is all relevant for me, I know lots of other people for whom the 1500ish works).

I'm just venting, but yeah, I'm done trying to be normal for at least another 5-10 lbs. I'll assess when I break into the 120s

[Help] Faking a weigh-in??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 05:38:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4br790/faking_a_weighin/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Having trouble getting dietary fat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 02:40:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqt4y/having_trouble_getting_dietary_fat/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] What is wrong with my head
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | 119.05 | 19.83 | -22 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 01:16:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqn2t/what_is_wrong_with_my_head/
---
This happened yesterday but I was too tired to post.

I didn't eat until about 3pm but I wasn't at home so I had no other option than to go to a restaurant. I was about to faint and knew I had to do something. Ended up going for sushi (where I ate a whole of 3 pieces of veggie sushi) but knowing how bad the rice is and the sauce that they gave me was full of sugar, I started freaking out.

I don't know why I did though because I'd been walking for a solid 5 hours so I figure I was running at deficit any way.

I still felt crap and by 7pm dinner time (veggie stirfry) came and I was really freaking out cos I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. I knew I was vulnerable and wanted to binge. But, I ate and was able to restrict to the best of my abilities.

What's really eating me up is the fact that I still feel like a fat shit even though I know that I probably only ate around 400 cals yesterday and I just want to feel like I did good and that I shouldn't be guilty. All I want is a spoon of peanut butter. Not sure if I deserve it though.

[Rant/Rave] Well, fuck.
/u/beadsofjade [5'4 | nah | 24 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 00:09:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqhnj/well_fuck/
---
So, back in November, I quit my shitty job at KFC because both of my managers were horrible and I got sick of being treated like crap. Haven't had an income since then. I had about 5 grand saved up when it happened. Spent 90% of it on weed and vodka because idk, I make bad life choices. I've only got about $600 left. I still live at home so, thankfully, the only regular expense that I have is my car insurance. I'm gonna apply to a bunch of places tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have a job by the end of next week.

I feel like an idiot for waiting this long. But I'm just so terrified of people that it's hard to even leave the house sometimes. But I have to get over it eventually. Right now, I can't afford to waste any of the money I have. So I've decided I'm not gonna spend any money on food, unless it's absolutely necessary.

To be honest with you, I see this as a good thing. I'll save money and lose weight. It's a win/win situation. I really should've started this a long time ago.

[Help] Craving a lot of salt
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Mar 23 23:55:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqgi9/craving_a_lot_of_salt/
---
What's up with this? I'm (hopefully) full of waterweight at the moment, but how do I stop craving it? Stepped on the scale after two 700 cal days (I worked out too) and I'm two pounds up!

[Discussion] Adding Coconut Oil to Rice Can Cut Calories in Half
/u/childshair [5'7 | 107.2 lbs | 16.73 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 23:02:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqbbm/adding_coconut_oil_to_rice_can_cut_calories_in/
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http://www.cbsnews.com/news/adding-coconut-oil-to-rice-could-cut-calories-in-half/

[Help] Tips for getting off laxatives (TMI Warning)
/u/ImElectroGirl [5'6"| 49kg | BMI:18 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 21:39:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bq2jv/tips_for_getting_off_laxatives_tmi_warning/
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I am well aware that laxatives have almost no impact on my weight yet can't seem to stop taking them. It has been about a year. I try to time taking them ~8-10 hours before a potential binge so the binge and the effects sync up and obviously I take more than is recommended. I also take them when I feel stressed and use them as a sort of coping mechanism?

The problem is that when I don't take them I can't *go* on my own at all. I once waited ~11 days before I gave in and used them again just to be able to go.
Any help/advice/alternatives or stories is greatly appreciated.

[Rant/Rave] I'm kind of freaking out
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5| 109 | 20.24 | -23lb | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 21:04:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpy98/im_kind_of_freaking_out/
---
So I was feeling really ill during a lab yesterday and my professor told me I needed to see the health center. Now I'm getting blood work done tomorrow because of it and while I really want to know where I need to be nutrient wise and what I actually need to improve on, I'm scared they are going to know I have disordered eating habits (honestly just restricting and mildish orthorexia, I haven't purged in a while because I'm not really much of a binger at the moment) but that they are going to make me keep a food log or go to counseling and I can't do anything at this point.

On the plus side, I weighed in at 112.6 after eating lunch and drinking a ton of water/tea! I'll update my flair when I can weigh myself on nothing.

[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/skinnyminilove [5'0" | 108 | 21.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 20:08:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpqr0/thinspo/
---
https://imgur.com/a/cvMx8

[Help] Started going well again, but my body is freaking out today.
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 20:07:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpqjy/started_going_well_again_but_my_body_is_freaking/
---
So I was on spring break last week, which meant being around family a lot and going out to eat frequently. I weighed myself and gained 3 pounds, most of which is water weight (I think at least). So now I'm trying to stick to my plan, and managed to stay under 500 the last two days. Today though, my stomach started feeling awful and I keep feeling dizzy. I've had so much water and am now at 750 calories, but I'm tired and hungry and still feeling odd. Please wish good thoughts my way that I'll stay under 1000.

[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate myself.
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 20:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bppuu/i_fucking_hate_myself/
---
I'm sitting here crying fucking raging at myself. I haven't weighed myself in a month - I knew it would be bad, I've been way over eating. I got complacent and I'm a stress eater, I just got a promotion at work and there's a lot of pressure to prove myself. Well I did it, I weighed in. And I
GAINED.
TEN.
FUCKING.
POUNDS.
WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF.
I'm shaking wondering how much it would hurt to cut the fat off my stomach and thighs.

FUCK. Just end my fucking misery already. I actually don't know what to do. I'm going to be stuck in this cycle forever.

[Rant/Rave] I look like I weigh way more than I actually do
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 23 19:37:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpmdd/i_look_like_i_weigh_way_more_than_i_actually_do/
---
By the numbers, I should be damn near perfect. I stand at 5'1 and weigh 92 pounds. That makes my BMI 18.1.

But I look *huge*. My thighs could crush an empire. My stomach looks like I'm pregnant.

I don't understand. I'm a little underweight but I *look* a little overweight.

It's so frustrating. It seems unfair. I hate it.

**AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH**

[Help] How to deal with dizziness?
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 23 19:26:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpkwe/how_to_deal_with_dizziness/
---
I forgot how dizzy and lightheaded I'd get. That's the only thing about my ED I don't like, honestly.

What are your solutions for it? Does anything help?

[Discussion] Eating 1200/1500kcal - Recovering? Or just a different face of an ED?
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Wed Mar 23 19:22:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpkcy/eating_12001500kcal_recovering_or_just_a/
---
After a long time of being in a binge/binge/purge pattern, I've recently been able to 1) avoid binging/purging more often and 2) eat a 'healthy' calorie intake of approx. 1200-1500.

For some reason though, I still 'feel' like I'm restricting. Because I'm going through the same motions - setting limits, weighing daily, rigorous eating rituals (such as 30 second between the end of my last bite and taking a new one), weighing food obsessively, refusing to eat foods I can't weigh/calculate the calories, etc.

But I guess I was kind of curious - if I can manage to make 1200/1500 kcal a habit and if I can stop binging/purging - does that mean I have recovered? Or is the obsessive nature of sticking to 1200/1500kcal still a manifestation of my eating disorder? Or maybe it would be considered a transition from an eating disorder to disordered eating?

For context: I have had an eating disorder for around 8 years and prior to that, had disordered eating from an early age.

Thoughts?

[Rant/Rave] So irritated with myself.
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 17:58:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bp8f7/so_irritated_with_myself/
---
I went 200 calories over budget today and I am really annoyed at myself.

I know it may not seem like a lot but it feels huge. I feel so awful.

Stupid fucking cheese.

[Rant/Rave] That's what I get for considering eating more today...
/u/ThroeAwaymeron [5'2" | 121.6 | 23.04 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 17:55:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bp7zl/thats_what_i_get_for_considering_eating_more_today/
---
I don't know what's with me today, but I kind of got it in my head that I'm in better shape, I'm exercising regularly(ish), maybe I should try to up my calories, be healthier...especially since I'll be going home for the summer in a couple months and there's no way I'll be able to sustain my current diet at home. Anyway, this is actually not about that directly, but just ranting about my college dining hall.

How on earth am I ever supposed to plan calories if the online menu seems to just come from someone's imagination and only matches the food being served about 70% of the time?! The part that goes with the above stupidity is, the online menu said they had one of my favorite foods today, which wouldn't put me over my calories for a small portion, so I thought I'd go get some and of course...not there. And you "swipe" your prepaid card at the desk before you can even tell--I wonder how many meals I've used up that consisted of either nothing or a diet soda?

So yeah this is totally meaningless, and I guess actually it's a good thing since it saved me from eating more tonight. But whatever, needed to vent.

[Discussion] On day three of fast, I FEEL AMAZING
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 17:13:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bp1ix/on_day_three_of_fast_i_feel_amazing/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Overachieving since I joined you :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 17:01:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bozo3/overachieving_since_i_joined_you/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Was about to mad binge, but then found a pint of 100 cal vegan icecream, 15 net carbs.
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 16:51:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4boy2m/was_about_to_mad_binge_but_then_found_a_pint_of/
---
https://imgur.com/a/OplKx

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I keep getting old-people diseases in my mid-20's...
/u/SingForMaya [5'2" |108 | bmi19.75 | -16 | F, 24 | GW:87]
Created: Wed Mar 23 16:39:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bow9d/rant_i_keep_getting_oldpeople_diseases_in_my/
---
It started with freaking GOUT at 22. (which is diet related, not genetic; apparently there's a link between ana and gout.)

Then started the osteoporosis and bone loss in my teeth as well at 23.


Now I have freaking shingles at 24. What the hell, body?!?!??

[Rant/Rave] I'm almost happy I got an abscessed tooth this week
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Wed Mar 23 15:29:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bol91/im_almost_happy_i_got_an_abscessed_tooth_this_week/
---
I mean yeah, the pain sucks, and the painkiller they gave me (acetaminophen/codeine) isn't as good as hydrocodone/acetaminophen (Vicodin, Lortab, etc.) but I don't want to look like a junkie and ask for something specific, because if I combine it with ibuprofen my teeth are sensitive but nothing really hurts except sudden movements of my jaw.

On the other hand, it's been the best excuse to avoid eating or drinking. Today's a very important anniversary to me (1 year since I started HRT) and I'm being invited to do things by a lot of people. I have the perfect excuse to say no. They invite me for food? Sorry, teeth are too sensitive to eat much, I'm eating soup at home this week (except I'm not). Invite me for drinks? Sorry, I can't drink while on codeine.

Such a blessing in disguise :)

[Help] Ephedrine in Quebec?
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 14:42:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bodny/ephedrine_in_quebec/
---
Does anyone know where I can get ephedrine in Quebec? Like not online but in an actual store. My credit card is going wonky and won't let me order it online.

[Discussion] What is your go-to snack when you decide to spend your calories on chocolate or salt?
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Wed Mar 23 14:28:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bobd0/what_is_your_goto_snack_when_you_decide_to_spend/
---
I tend to eat the same few things over and over again but I swear to god if I eat anymore halo top or sunflower seeds I'm going to drop dead in a fit of boredom.

[Thinspo] Alesya Kafelnikova Album
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 13:47:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bo4k5/alesya_kafelnikova_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/GIWjm

[Rant/Rave] Stupidly excited by my husband's dinner request
/u/thininsp
Created: Wed Mar 23 13:11:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnyi3/stupidly_excited_by_my_husbands_dinner_request/
---
So I'm at the store and I text the husband "what do you want me to pick up for dinner" figuring I'll cook for him and the kids and hopefully make a veggie on the side that I can eat. He texts back "im really craving a big salad". Oh. My. Pineapples. You mean he actually wants a dinner we can all eat together that won't send me spiraling into a panic? Fuck yeah.

[Goal] FUCK YES
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 12:37:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnsxv/fuck_yes/
---
Guys I just got my height taken at the doctor, and I learned that my BMI is under 25- IM NOT OVERWEIGHT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! Now to get to an underweight BMI ;)

[Tip] [Review][Long] HydroxyElite; DMAA
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 12:08:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bno5j/reviewlong_hydroxyelite_dmaa/
---
Hello,

As I enjoy seeing all the happy posts about Bronkaid/Primatene, I thought it might be helpful to post this little review about *my* favorite thermogenic and appetite suppressant: 1,3-dimethylamylamine aka: **DMAA**

*****

First, a history (which if too long, you can skip to the review after the block):

> As you may or may not know, a few years ago--after the final ban of ephedrine-based weight loss supps in the US in 2005--there was a magical pill you could buy called OxyElite Pro.

> The majority of "diet pills" marketed in the mid-2000's relied on caffeine, green tea, and similar ^^basic ^^bitch stimulants to "promote energy and weight loss." OEP was much more effective than these because it coupled the ingredient DMAA with caffeine, resulting in a combination similar to the combination of ephedrine and caffeine.

> As touters of EC stacking know, these sorts of combinations have a noticeable effect on appetite, weight loss and fat loss. OEP was fantastic at eliminating appetite, increasing focus, energy levels and energy expenditure as a thermogenic, as well as acting as a diuretic.

> In the late 2000s I regularly cycled on-and-off OEP to reach my physical goals at that time. And it was very good.

> Then, in 2010, some dummy in New Zealand OD'd on DMAA+caffeine+alcohol. Thus began a gradual, growing suspicion by global health agencies that DMAA was *dangerous.* Subsequently, a growing number of dummies around the world reported liver and heart conditions "caused" by use of dietary supplements. Then in Spring of 2012, another dummy in the US (who had previously diagnosed with an irregular heartbeat) ingested DMAA (not in the form of OEP) and collapsed *after running a marathon*, and OEP's fate was sealed.

> Different national health agencies around the world began locking down on DMAA. Eventually the US followed suit, "banned" DMAA, and scared diet pill manufacturers and distributors into pulling their products from the shelves. For awhile you could still buy "black market" bottles of OEP from various sources like eBay, etc. but the prices increased as the global supply dwindled. Finally, USPLabs destroyed a huge stock of their product and there was virtually no more OEP to be found.

> I personally found it hard to deal, bought some pure DMAA and caffeine anhydrous and spent awhile capping my own pills. It was a dark time.

> Eventually the "ban" on DMAA marketed as dietary supplements was lifted and manufacturers started trying to fill the gaping hole in the market that was left by OEP. There were definitely some iterations on recreating the proprietary formula that made OEP so amazing--some were terrible, others were OK. This review is about one that is better than OK, and closely reminiscent of the White-Top Original-Formula OxyELITE Pro.

*****

This is a review of HydroxyElite by Hi-Tech Pharmaceuticals.

- **What it is:** A weight loss pill and supplement; thermogenic fat burner; energy pill
- **Daily dosage:** The ingredients, linked at the bottom of this post, are summarized as 119.5 mg proprietary blend; 100 mg caffeine. I'd prefer to know the exact amount of DMAA in the "proprietary blend" but can only estimate it to be the typically recommended DMAA dosage, which is between 25 and 60 mg. I can usually only tolerate one capsule per day for the first 5-7 days of the cycle, then can take up to 3 per day as my tolerance builds towards the end of the cycle. I also like to couple each dose with 1 or 2 capsules of fiber (Psyllium husk 0.52 g per capsule) just for complete satiety. This product comes in the form of a [purple-and-white capsule](http://www.pharmacychoice.com/MDX/i/t107811b.jpg) which, unlike Bronkaid/Primatene tablets, cannot be easily split into half dosages. I suppose you could try removing the contents of the capsule, then weigh and divide it for a smaller dosage, but I've never bothered doing that so I can't speak on it one way or another.
- **Pros:** Noticeable effects within an hour of taking a dose. *Completely* kills appetite for about a solid, eight-hour period. Water is very appealing during that time. Steady boost of energy and focus means it's a perfect preworkout. It's effective as a diuretic, causing a quick elimination of water weight upon starting a cycle (who doesn't enjoy seeing "immediate" results?) and helps reduce muscle loss with weight loss (maximizes fat loss). So far no interactions between this and my other meds.
- **Cons:** For the first few days of the cycle, I am more sensitive to the effects of this product. This includes dilated pupils (I'm also on an SSRI) and I have, twice on occasion (and during different cycles), begun to feel nauseous several hours after taking a dose, before abruptly feeling the need to vomit. I've always only puked up water though, and felt immediately better afterwards.
- **Other:** I wouldn't necessarily list this as a con, more of just a general side effect to the way the product works, but it does tend to make you sweat a bit more than usual.
- **Would you recommend to a friend?** Yes
- **Where can you buy it?** Online (US; not sure about other countries). I've personally purchased it from the following vendors:
- [Strong Supplement Shop](http://www.strongsupplementshop.com/)
- [GoldenTrainer Performance](http://shop.goldentrainer.com/Default_V3.aspx)
- [NutriVitaShop](https://www.nutrivitashop.com) (pure)
- **Cost:** About $35 USD per bottle (90 capsules)

Please let me know if you have any questions!

*****

####HydroxyElite by Hi-Tech Pharmaceuticals

- [Ingredients](http://i.imgur.com/kuoXgbk.jpg)

Note: Some versions of the formula include garcinia cambogia, which wasn't originally included. I've had bottles with and without it, and don't personally think it makes a difference to the efficacy of the product.

####OxyELITE Pro by USPLabs (discontinued)

- [Ingredients](http://i.imgur.com/H6fhJ5t.jpg)

[Discussion] I have a DEXA scan scheduled for the 6th :O talk about great motivation!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:51:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnleq/i_have_a_dexa_scan_scheduled_for_the_6th_o_talk/
---
i dont know where i am, and want a "starting point" for my continued weight loss. Anyone else done this?

[Goal] Reached my goal!
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 113| 21.41| F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:10:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bneod/reached_my_goal/
---
I reached 115! I was gonna take a picture of the scale and post, but for some reason when I stepped on again it said 114.8. Not a huge difference, and definitely in my favor, but I don't know, it felt wrong.

My plan now is to just maintain and not binge. I'm not gonna stop myself from eating what I want, it'll just be really small portions.

And when I'm not feeling myself, like will inevitably happen (thanks body dysmorphia), then I'll try for a lower goal. But for now, I'll savor this victory!

I couldn't have done it without this sub! I'll update flair when I can.

[Discussion] Is anyone else worried that they'll end up as an FA?
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:09:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnemx/is_anyone_else_worried_that_theyll_end_up_as_an_fa/
---
All of us here clearly accept our ED/disordered eating for what it is, or at least for now we do. Personally I have a thing with severe extremes when it comes to eating, either binging or basically fasting. It seems like it'll be easy to completely flip over to the other side of disordered eating and end up as one of the people on /r/fatlogic, once again accepting my disordered eating as it is being a 300lb #goddess. It's honestly one of my biggest fears and I was wondering if anyone here feels the same way.

[Thinspo] Small album, Tall Girls, Long Waists.
/u/kait989 [178cm | 118lbs | 17.04 | -57lbs| F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:07:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bne8y/small_album_tall_girls_long_waists/
---
http://imgur.com/a/obdXO

[Discussion] Is anyone else worried that they'll end up as an FA?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bne3i/is_anyone_else_worried_that_theyll_end_up_as_an_fa/
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[deleted]

[Intro] Hello.
/u/goodbyetumtum [5'5 | 161.2 | 27.14 | -28.8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 10:54:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnc57/hello/
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I suppose I'm finally ready to come out of the shadows.

For some quick background, I started showing signs of disordered eating when I was 15. Despite being a pretty decent athlete, I always felt like the fat kid of the bunch. I started mild (healthy) restriction, but soon I became obsessed with counting calories and lowering the number on the scale. My mom of course noticed this and begged me to stop, but she couldn't force me to. At the time, I didn't realize she was also fighting depression until she attempted suicide. I love my mother, so it was really devastating to realize that my self harm likely contributed to her mental decline as well. After that, I forced myself to start binging to gain the weight back. I felt disgusting and I hated myself, but I loved my mom too much to keep hurting her.

Fast forward a few years. My mom is doing far better. She has had the appropriate treatment and is like a whole new person. I'm still fat and unhappy. At the beginning of the new year, one of my roommates called me "the fat friend" which hurt me so badly that I began restricting again. I don't really feel guilty about restricting this time around since my mom is happy again, and now I can finally start doing what makes me happy too. You all seem so sweet and welcoming, and I'm happy to have found your community.

My stats:

Female
21 years old
5' 5''
LW: 99.6,
HW: 190,
CW: 165.6,
GW1: 135,
GW2: 110,
GW3: TBD

[Rant/Rave] I have mirror checked SO MANY TIMES today
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 10:26:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bn7mq/i_have_mirror_checked_so_many_times_today/
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Oh my god. I have been binging pretty bad (in my opinion). I gave myself some freedom , which was stupid, to help cope with no more booze. Somehow, I've still semi lost weight. Im probably just dehydrated. But I'm glad I work from home or I swear I'd probably get fired for how many bathroom breaks I take. I hate my tummy more than anything. Why do I see all these bones and then this wierd shaped stomach? Its so frustrating. Tonight we are having birthday festivities for my bf, so we will see how that goes booze & food wise...Why can I not control this garbage body???

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 23 10:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bn3jz/daily_food_diary_march_23_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Beach day. Today's pics before I get ready. I'm staying in my cover up :'(((
/u/skinnyminilove [5'0" | 108 | 21.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 08:27:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmof8/beach_day_todays_pics_before_i_get_ready_im/
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https://imgur.com/a/xLhUY

[Rant/Rave] Started restricting and period stopped
/u/milky_silky [5'5 1/2 | 115 | 19.2]
Created: Wed Mar 23 08:02:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmkws/started_restricting_and_period_stopped/
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I am one of the many previous anorexics turned bulimics. I got taught how to binge and purge in my recovery centre. Somewhere along the recovery process, my periods came back, as they had been gone for years. Currently, I'm recovering from bulimia and restricting. My period has been fairly regular since it has been back. But on this cycle, it was almost two weeks late - I was convinced I was pregnant, but the numerous tests proved me wrong. Unfortunately my period is back, but it feels so good to think that it had stopped due to my restriction. Hopefully it will stop all together soon. :)

[Tip] Tiny Mug Muffins [recipe]
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 07:20:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmf8m/tiny_mug_muffins_recipe/
---
Hi friends!

If you read my food logs you'll know I'm obsessed with protein pancakes. The other day I tried to make a mug muffin with the mix on a whim and oh my god I am obsessed.

I use Kodiak Protein Pancake mix, it's pretty easy to find at Costco or Target.

Recipe:

1/4 cup of kodiak protein pancake mix

1 egg

1/4 cup of water

1/2 tsp of vanilla

cinnamon and nutmeg to taste

5-6 blueberries if you're into blueberries

Whisk it all up in a straight-sided mug. Stick it in the microwave for 3 minutes.

It will rise way up above the top of the mug, but this is fine, don't freak out. When it's done, let it sit for a minute or two, then pop it out of the mug. I cut mine into slices and sprinkle a little cinnamon sugar on it for a little crunch. I like the mouthfeel of the sugar. The texture is a little spongey, I think if you wanted it fluffier you could add a dash of baking powder.

The whole thing comes to 176 calories and is about 20 grams of protein. So delish!



[Rant/Rave] a bittersweet victory
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 06:58:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmcfv/a_bittersweet_victory/
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[deleted]

[Goal] I'm fasting today because of my binges
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 06:50:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmbek/im_fasting_today_because_of_my_binges/
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I used a caffeine tablet cause for some reason they make me nauseated and I can't eat. I'm glad I can't eat but I feel like I got donkey kicked in the stomach lol

[Help] Sticking points - how to get past them?
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 05:24:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bm2ms/sticking_points_how_to_get_past_them/
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So I got from ~135 down to ~125 no issues in about six weeks (not fast but it went).

Now my weight just hovers around 122 as I binge and fast and binge. It's like there's some sticking point in my mind that won't let me stay on track.

I just need a couple of months binge free.

Have you guys ever gotten stuck at a weight for a month or more?

[Rant/Rave] How has your life been lately? [rant/discussion]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 04:54:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bm013/how_has_your_life_been_lately_rantdiscussion/
---
I thought I would post this as a rant as well as an opportunity for ya'll to rant too.

Laxatives and diet coca cola have pretty much been my life lately. I know laxatives can be dangerous, I don't take too many but it gets rid of the food in my stomach. And I find that coca cola is working well as an appetite suppressant from the acidity. unfortunately ephedrine is unavailable where I live so I'll stick to that. I wake up with stomach pains from the laxatives tho.

My family booked a trip to Asia in July and I need to work so hard before then so I'm not fat and sweaty. My "progress" has been so slow lately, but if I'm consistent with my calorie consumption I'll be my UGW by then?? the thought of that seems so foreign.

I've only lost 10 lbs this year, I lost all of my post-exam stress/depression weight but still feel absolutely the same. I can't even look at myself and feel gross walking around school amongst so many pretty girls :||

I haven't been on reddit lately due to a bout of sadness, but came back for the comfort of you all, and I'm interested how you've all been lately. anything good or bad happen that you want to rant about??

[Intro] A very late intro
/u/weightliftingwaif [5'2.5" | 111.8lbs | 20.76| 2lbs]
Created: Wed Mar 23 03:58:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blvh1/a_very_late_intro/
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I'm an on and off lurker. This is my first time posting something other than a comment, and I feel irrationally terrified. I spend an embarrassing amount of time ruminating over conversations, food, weightlifting, food, past failures, and did I mention food?

The first time I dropped a significant amount of weight was when I was 9, and first started having panic attacks. I didn't know what was happening, only that I had no appetite and constantly felt on the verge of throwing up. I also had an abusive parent that hit me when I didn't eat and would make a big show of "checking" my plate several times at dinnertime to see how much I had eaten. Food became gross. I didn't recover from that until I was in my mid-teens, but by then I was so used to being underweight that I felt extremely gross at 100lbs and started skipping breakfast and lunch on purpose. At some point I finally made some friends and got my first part time job and the weight piled back on. My parents got divorced and my mom met another equally disgusting pig my senior year of highschool. This one convinced her to kick me out and I spent a few months bouncing from couch to couch and smoked a lot of cigarettes and occasionally snorted cocaine to fight hunger pangs and dull some of the emotional stress I was under. I got extremely lucky that I didn't become addicted to cocaine, and I quit smoking a few years ago, but it was brutal. Since then, my closest friend and I are no longer speaking to each other, I've gotten divorced, I've moved across country, found real love, and am trying to work out much of my anxiety.

I keep trying to convince myself that I'm a fraud; that I can't possibly have disordered eating or thoughts if I'm "lifting heavy" and eating protein. The truth is, I've been stalled in progress for over a year, and I really only care about the calorie count at the end of the day. I've added in more hard cardio; not because I'm trying to improve my endurance, but because I had 5 days of binging that wrecked the progress I made on my weight. I know I can't have it all. I can't be super small and lift the numbers I want. I'm not small enough yet.

I'm all over the place, and already obsessing over whether I should have written anything, but I appreciate you all reading. I'll be around more.

[Thinspo] Progress/thinspo (?) down to lowest weight and I'm feelin good!!! Would love your thoughts on my progress.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 03:08:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blrth/progressthinspo_down_to_lowest_weight_and_im/
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http://imgur.com/a/1wMZM

[Rant/Rave] Really fed up with treatment.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 02:23:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blooo/really_fed_up_with_treatment/
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So now I have been five days at the day hospital and I'm really fed up with all this.

They insist I should start eating carbs. A lot. And empty carbs too, like pasta and rice and stuff.

Yesterday I had a meeting with a nutritionist. She said I have a case of "slight malnutrition". All I could think was "well, that's not so bad, let's get to moderate at the very least".

Lately I have been thinking about starting to eat more, so that I would have more energy to exercise and do school stuff, but now I feel it's pointless. She thinks I should start eating normally by the end of THIS month, anything less "wouldn't make a difference really". Okay then.

And I feel kind of... fat right now. She and others in my treatment team keep saying that if I keep on losing weight, and if I lose a lot more my situation would be alarming. Ok, I know I'm not that thin, I'm just two bmi points underweight, but...Well, I guess I should be happy that they don't think my situation is yet worrisome.

I'm just thinking about giving up alltogether. This feels pointless.




[Tip] 240 cal recipe- vegetarian sloppy joes
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 116.6lb | 18.45 | 47.3lb | NB]
Created: Wed Mar 23 00:52:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blhs5/240_cal_recipe_vegetarian_sloppy_joes/
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Sometimes I throw shit in a bowl and eat it and it sucks, but sometimes it turns out pretty awesome.

1 morningstar veggie burger patty (170 cal)

1/4 cup pizza sauce (40 cal)

1/4 hot dog bun (30 cal, optional. It's the only bread in the house and I wanted a little something to mop up the sauce with.)

hot sauce

Nuke the patty, shred or cut it up into itty bitty pieces. Mix in the pizza sauce. Add hot sauce, pepper, and any other spices you feel like adding to taste. Use bread to get the last of the sauce, or just use your fingers/dont mop up the sauce if you want to save calories.

This is pretty basic and just kind of thrown together from what I had lying around but it was really filling. Don't skimp on the hot sauce! It adds flavor, it helps boost your metabolism, and if your mouth is on fire there's a 100% chance you'll drink more water. Enjoy!


[Rant/Rave] Im floundering. Im venting and raving at the same time.
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 00:34:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blgbb/im_floundering_im_venting_and_raving_at_the_same/
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I am in a weird place. Ive been really good with restriction. The bronkaid... figured that out... been walking with friends and hiking. Havent been lifting more than once a week... but then i got sick and in a stupid tif with my fat sister via snapchat over my thinness... im not even that fucking thin. I wear size 27 pants... theyre not super tight but thats not like... tiny. Im not bony. I dont look remotely fragile or small, i just look like someone that a normal person would consider "not fat". Im not normal, im a perfectionist. Except i cant be perfect. Ive been binging and purging again. I was so close to making it 4wks without. Fuck. But people are commenting. Boss said "you never eat" and people have been saying "you look so good! " but... the binging... and the purging... why cant i keep a handle on it.? Fuck. I ate 25k today, and i couldn't even purge becauze my throat hurts so bad. I'm going to drink my stupid detox tea and try to pass out. Tomorrow i will fast to make up for my calorie average.

[Discussion] Protein/meal replacement shakes?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 23:42:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blbph/proteinmeal_replacement_shakes/
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[deleted]

[Tip] GREAT trick that both relieves anxiety + helps with cravings
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 23:29:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blae1/great_trick_that_both_relieves_anxiety_helps_with/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I got kicked out of school
/u/useh3rname [4'10| 85| 17.76| -20 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 22:04:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bl1ge/i_got_kicked_out_of_school/
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I'm so upset that I've haven't eaten in 48 hours. yay...

[Help] fasting advice
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 20:44:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bkryj/fasting_advice/
---
my roommate had a frozen juice cleanse she decided she didn't want so she gave it to me. i'm planning on doing that all day thursday (they have to defrost, otherwise i'd do it tomorrow) and using the juice day as a stepping stone to my first water fast. is this a good idea? i'm nervous that i won't have the self control to do it.. how do you guys usually get through a fast?

[Rant/Rave] Bleh.......bought new breeches (riding pants) and they're too tight.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 20:01:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bkm3d/blehbought_new_breeches_riding_pants_and_theyre/
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So I went to the horsey store/tack shop to order some competition breeches. They were having a 50% off sale and these breeches I couldn't find in my size online were on sale at the store! In my size! So I bought them!

They're a size 26 (aka size 4) and they're a bit too snug on me :( I mean, when I'd comfortably fit a size 26 I was about 5-10 pounds lighter so it makes sense. Honestly they're only tight around the hips - if I lost 1 inch at my hips they'd be *perfect*.

I was sad that they're tight on me BUT this gives me more motivation to keep on doing what I'm doing. I was *going* to eat 700 calories instead of 500 today but this has given me a good reason NOT to eat the extra 200 calories.

[Help] Purge
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 18:53:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bkcr8/purge/
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I don't typically purge but I did 2x today immediately after eating. Idk how many calories I avoided. Yall have any idea?

[Help] Bought another scale...
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:50:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bk3v3/bought_another_scale/
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I now own three. I have my regular one that I use every morning, and now two others that every now and then I will also use to double check my regular one is accurate...

Am I crazy?!

I miss when feeling empty had such a different effect
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:48:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bk3it/i_miss_when_feeling_empty_had_such_a_different/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] Article Re: the Minnesota Starvation Experiment
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:23:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjzsq/article_re_the_minnesota_starvation_experiment/
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http://www.refinery29.com/minnesota-starvation-experiment?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook

[Discussion] Instead of studying I am going to binge
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:09:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjxtu/instead_of_studying_i_am_going_to_binge/
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Yep you heard right... That girl who promised herself only today to break the binge habit and only have a 200 cal meal and study for my midterm on thursday is going to binge on a bottle of Kim Crawford that her parents bought (the only nice bottle of wine I have had in a year) and on tofu fritatas.

I have already started on the kimmy if you can tell.

...

I hate myself

[Discussion] FitBit Friends!
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | 22.7 | -12 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:01:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjwjk/fitbit_friends/
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Does anyone wanna be my FitBit friend?

It's feeling pretty lonely on there!

It would be fun to have a group with challenges and stuff for those who use them.

EDIT:

I made a ProED group just now!

PM me your email so I can invite you!

If anyone wants to add me directly, I'm meganstokes409@gmail.com


[Discussion] Disordered eating vs. eating disorders
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 143.4 | 23.68 | -19.6 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 16:30:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjrs4/disordered_eating_vs_eating_disorders/
---
I've been thinking a lot about the difference between those two things lately. The one and only time that I've ever discussed my eating issues with somebody was with a friend, who I told that I had anorexia. I guess I used that word because I didn't think that I could explain how "immense" this aspect of my life felt to me without it. If I hear someone say that they have disordered eating, I tend to think more "diet gone a bit too far" or "has issues with portion control" or even just along the lines of eating very unhealthy. So, while I didn't think at the time that I fit the criteria for anorexia, and I still completely don't, I felt it necessary to use the word to convey my meaning.

I know that discussion about the weight criteria and anorexia can get controversial, but I'm not underweight and never have been. I've had "disordered eating" for many years but it has waxed and waned in terms of severity. So...I don't know. Sometimes I look at myself and think "wow you're fucked up, you have an eating disorder" and other times I feel guilty for labeling myself as anorexic, even in my mind, when I don't fit all the criteria and I know that other people are suffering way worse. I'm sure that the whole "being sicker means I matter more" and worries about my issues being laughed at factor into this...I'm not sure where this is going, I guess I was just wanting people's thoughts?

[Rant/Rave] Fasting Diary: Day two (continued)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Mar 22 16:00:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjn2m/fasting_diary_day_two_continued/
---
All I can think about is time. How many hours left until my second day is complete, how many hours it's been, how many days of this my body can endure until i drive myself insane. I keep thinking about going to the kitchen for a snack but I know it wouldn't stop at a snack and i feel any morsel or food would set me back a mile.

I feel obsessed with keeping this going. I am supposed to be studying for a final and all I am doing is trying to wait out the clock until the day is over. I won't eat dinner. I won't eat anything today because I don't want to.

I still feel moderately suicidal. After looking at the scale this morning and not seeing the number budge much I feel defeated and upset and angry. At myself. I got myself here and I am the only one who can drag myself out of this rut.

I had an emotional text conversation with my girlfriend earlier. I told her I feel awful and confessed to having a lot of emotions about putting on a lot of weight and how i feel worthless and she says any extreme things I try are likely to end in failure but I feel like living any more than I absolutely have to as a colossal fat mess is not worth it. I want to drop this weight as fast as I can and i don't care how unhealthy i have to do it. This is why i have resorted to fasting.

I told my girlfriend to lose weight i will not eat any sweets and cut back to two meals a day (should be easy enough to stay under 1000 with two meals) so that when i do eat I can stay at a caloric deficit. When I don't see here I plan on eating little to nothing until i make up my lost ground. I want to back to 160 and as of today that is over 20 pounds away. I feel so fucked.

I am writing another diary in case anyone gives a shit but also because it is giving me some outlet for all of these emotions. I wish i could just eat less and not have gotten myself into this mess. I hate myself so much. I feel worthless. A part of me wishes i could die today and be done with all of this bullshit. I hate myself. I hate my body the most.

[Discussion] when someone asks you a bunch of questions right when the ec stack hits
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:51:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjlpv/when_someone_asks_you_a_bunch_of_questions_right/
---
http://imgur.com/6Vno6DB

[Rant/Rave] I was invited to a friend's wedding today. I am terrified.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:47:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjl6i/i_was_invited_to_a_friends_wedding_today_i_am/
---
My friend from high school, who joined the marines and I haven't seen in a year or two, is getting married soon. I was invited, still don't have the physical formal invite so I don't know the date yet.

My first thought is that I'm terrified of looking fat in whatever dress I wear. I have only two dresses that fit me well now: a green one that has a fitted chest but a flow-y skirt, and pink one that is well fitted all the way down to my mid thigh. I could look cute in the green one, but wouldn't be showing off my weightloss much. Or in the pink, I could be stunning and show off my bones and how thin I look. That is, if I even look thin by then. What if I just look huge??

I'm stuck between the contradictory thoughts of not wanting anyone to notice (or potentially worry?) about my weight, and wanting to show off how far I've come. Also I don't know how far off the wedding is. What if I slip up in the time between then and now and end up fat by the wedding? It's such a huge weight on my mind now. (Unintended pun...haha...)

To make it worse I have the flu this week, so I've upped my intake up to help me get over it quicker. When I restrict low cal while sick it always takes me an extra week to get better, so I figured fuck it will eat at 1200, get better, and at least I'm still under maintenance. But now I'm just worried about being too fat for my dresses while feeling fat currently for eating so damn much.

I know it's a wedding and everyone will be focused on the couple, obviously. But I almost never get invited to formal events, so it feels like a big deal to me. Im freaking out a little.

[Goal] Finally hit 150lbs today! First time in my life I've been this toned.
/u/lily_nienna [6'3" | 150lbs | bmi 18.7 | - 10lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:38:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjjtf/finally_hit_150lbs_today_first_time_in_my_life/
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http://imgur.com/TpgnJGO

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Delicate
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:29:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjib7/thinspo_delicate/
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http://i.imgur.com/e8VbntV.jpg

[Rant/Rave] Even though I'm not drinking
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:26:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjhty/even_though_im_not_drinking/
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I am smoking a bit. I find myself binging on carbs. Binging now isn't as bad as binging while drunk but I'm doing it. Bleh. I had a binge day today! And it was prob 2000. Or more. But fit bit says I burned 1800+. I've been on 2 walks today. And I plan to go on another and not eat anything else today.

[Discussion] Does anyone else use their BMI to see what they'd weigh at different heights?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:14:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjfv1/does_anyone_else_use_their_bmi_to_see_what_theyd/
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I do and it makes me feel disgusting.

[Help] Being ED with Depression & Borderline Personality Disorder
/u/skinnyminilove [5'0" | 108 | 21.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 14:21:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bj7f0/being_ed_with_depression_borderline_personality/
---
Feeling so discouraged about my body. I am on medication for severe depression and borderline personality disorder that keeps me from loosing weight. I've been single for over a year and feel like no one is going to fall in love with me. I just get used for sex over and over. Every day is a struggle to find a reason to keep living. Right now, getting skinny again is the only thing keeping me going. Is anyone going through a similar experience?
Today's photos: http://imgur.com/a/lnDVA

[Help] Reached a goal... ish.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 12:32:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bipl0/reached_a_goal_ish/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] 20 Things to do Instead of Bingeing
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 12:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4biogg/20_things_to_do_instead_of_bingeing/
---
So, since I'm reducing my calories, I need to remind myself not to binge. Here's a list of shit to do instead of fuck up your goal :)

* Play with a pet
* Do your hair
* Paint your nails
* Look at [thinspo](http://www.myproana.com/uploads/gallery/album_7313/med_gallery_75261_7313_27899.jpg)
* Look at [anti-thinspo](http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/773/632/e77.jpg)
* Make a list of all the things you can wear when you're thin
* Look at old, too-tight clothes and imagine fitting into them
* Chew gum!
* Do some online shopping for outfits that you can wear when you're thin enough
* Binge watch some netflix!
* Read a book
* Go and exercise
* Do your makeup
* Do some yoga
* Call a friend
* Go for a walk
* Find a hobby
* Have a spa day
* Have some [delicious flavored tea](https://eupouria.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/caramel-and-coconut.jpg) with some splenda :3
* POST TO /R/PROED!!!

Luff you guys <3

[Help] Wisdom teeth problems.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 10:55:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bi9dh/wisdom_teeth_problems/
---
Hi everyone! I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. The surgery went well, but now I need to eat food to recover.

I had about 1,400 calories yesterday, mostly from a milkshake and some jello. Today I haven't had anything to eat. I know I should eat to heal, but another part of me wants to take advantage of my nonexistent appetite. Ugh this is so frustrating.

What would you recommend? The rules are liquids only for today, soft foods from tomorrow until a week from tomorrow.

Due to a bunch of reasons, the rest of my family is unable to go to the store, too, so I only have my aunt to pick up things, but I'd rather not bother her if I don't have to. That means I might get a smoothie or another milkshake today, but probably only one. I really don't feel like cooking though.

Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, I'm still on meds.

Love you guys <3

Why are virtual accountability "buddies" not permitted?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 10:02:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bi0ok/why_are_virtual_accountability_buddies_not/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 22 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bi0mp/daily_food_diary_march_22_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Does anyone else love pushing their limits?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 09:45:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhxvk/does_anyone_else_love_pushing_their_limits/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I just hit 130 lbs!!!
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:41:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhnvy/i_just_hit_130_lbs/
---
I'm sure a lot of it is water weight but eeeek!!!! Posting here because I'm so excited and to keep myself accountable!

I'm sure a lot of it is water weight! But I fast every few days and kind of have 2,000 kcal "binges" every 2-3 days.

For reference, I am 5'2. I started about 10 days ago at 136 lbs.

[Discussion] how viral weightloss challenges & social media can both hurt and help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:30:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhm73/how_viral_weightloss_challenges_social_media_can/
---
http://i-d.vice.com/en_us/article/viral-weightloss-challenges-reveal-a-gaping-hole-in-the-body-positivity-movement

[Discussion] Me on a good day
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:08:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhj21/me_on_a_good_day/
---
http://imgur.com/a/bIKl8

[Rant/Rave] Mfw I'm having a good day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:07:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhivt/mfw_im_having_a_good_day/
---
http://imgur.com/a/bIKl8

[Rant/Rave] Fast Diary: day two (the beginning of day two that is.)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:05:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhij0/fast_diary_day_two_the_beginning_of_day_two_that/
---
I woke up several times over the course of the night wanting to eat then rushing over to the bathroom scale to make sure i didn't some how gain weight in my sleep. My weight controls me. I feel so weak. I don't even know if i will make it to Thursday at this rate. If I may profrane, I just feel like a worthless sack of shit who should die.

I rolled over in my bed when i woke up to look at this sub on mobile and found some post about skinnier guys being attractive. My heart sank. I want to be one of them but i don't think I will ever be. I want people to be jealous of me but at the rate I am just the fat friend.

Starving is the only thing that makes sense. fasting that is. After a whole day plus the night my weight hasn't changed at all and I feel constipated (tmi) and it sucks. I feel like I am retaining a lot of weight. I hate my body so much. I could go back to cutting if i didn't think my girlfriend would see the scars or scrapes at some point. I just feel an intense distrust and hatered for my body. It is the reason I am like this. It is weak and as a result so am I.

It is for this reason I have chosen to suffer. I want my body to know what it's like to be pushed to the edge without food. I want it to know what I am capable of when it doesn't behave the way I want it to. Every stomach growl is a cry for mercy and I will ignore them and continue on. I will make it through today.



[Rant/Rave] Let my mom make breakfast for me, found out she added 960 CALORIES WORTH OF CHEESE
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 141 lbs | -10 | GW 115 | 22.76 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 06:48:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bh8ny/let_my_mom_make_breakfast_for_me_found_out_she/
---
I finally got down to the mid 130's recently after an episode of depression + weight gain in the winter, but then my mom offered to make me breakfast a few times this week. She's been making cheese quesadillas and I decided to passively watch while we chatted in the kitchen today. My mom's a bit overweight so she eats pretty liberally, but she put in like 2 cups of that lucrene cheese this whole time which I found out in MFP was 900 FUCKING CALORIES. Sure enough, I weigh myself that afternoon (I hadn't in a week) and I'm back up to 140. I'm not mad because she didn't know, nonetheless know that I'm back to practicing my ED, but I'm mad at myself for being so careless.


Welp, back to cherry tomatoes, blueberries and raspberries all day. Never letting anyone cook for me ever again :)))) Fiber city, here I come.

[Rant/Rave] Getting respect from skinny girls
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 06:31:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bh6pn/getting_respect_from_skinny_girls/
---
We all know those people. The incredibly pretty ones, the tiny skinny ones, the ones who know they're better than you, but are nice about it so its hard to even hate them.

There was one of those who was a regular at my store when I worked at Starbucks. She is gorgeous, petite, skinny, and knows all of those things make her superior, but she was always super nice so I really couldn't justify classifying her as a bitch.

Today I stopped by my old store for an americano and a chat with my former coworkers and she was there. She stood up to give me a hug, got a good look at me and said, "wow, hun, you are looking good." It was subtle, not like she was assessing my value or judging me, but rather like a simple statement of recognition from one skinny girl to another.

Fucking made my day.

(That and the fact that the scale finally dropped another 1.5 lbs this morning. Anyone else have that thing where the scale won't budge for a solid 9 days and then suddenly drops all at once even though you haven't had a BM or anything?)

[Goal] I did it! My first 24 hour 0 calorie fast!!!
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 160 | 24.3 | 14 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 06:19:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bh5fc/i_did_it_my_first_24_hour_0_calorie_fast/
---
I usually end up drinking something or chewing gum just to keep me going, but I finally did a true fast! I had a double shift at work, which made it a whole lot easier.
I know I shouldn't really feel proud of myself, (hooray look how unstable I am!) but I do really feel proud of myself and just wanted to share :)

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A March 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 22 06:02:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bh3ms/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_march_22_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] if you could eat anything.. in any amount... with no consequences
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 23:00:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bg3ph/if_you_could_eat_anything_in_any_amount_with_no/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Don't eat your feelings, starve them
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Mar 21 22:09:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfyc3/dont_eat_your_feelings_starve_them/
---
Channel the pain you're feeling into the pain in your stomach. I used to eat all my feelings. But inevitably when the food was gone, the feelings came out to play. Binging only delayed the inevitable. Now when I'm anxious or sad or feeling like a piece of shit, I starve instead. Instead of running from the pain, I sink into it and come out on the other side lighter. One form of self harm to another I guess. But at least this one gets me closer to my goals.

[Help] Hair growth pills and purging
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Mon Mar 21 22:08:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfy79/hair_growth_pills_and_purging/
---
So long story short I recently got out of an absusive home and one of the things my abusers did was chop off my waist length hair to my chin. I got these supplements called HairTru that say they'll make it grow around 1-2 inches per month. That would be perfect because then when I start going to real school again in August it would be back to its old length so I'd feel pretty again.

But my question is...If I take these pills around noon can I still binge and purge at night? Or would that make them not work? Do you think if I do around 9 or 10 pm, 8 or 9 hours later, that purging would get rid of the pills? Because I really need them to work, I don't want my purging to get rid of them.

Has anyone had a similar situation like with the supplements? What do you think?

[Rant/Rave] Today was really good!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 22:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfxkf/today_was_really_good/
---
I had 500 calories today. This is my first time restricting since probably August or September so I'm glad it went well. What helped me the most was eating 4 times today, drinking **lots** of water and having a cup of tea after dinner. I don't feel hungry or tired, nor do I have any cravings.

I went to the supermarket and bought tons of low cal/safe foods for me to eat for the rest of the week.

I was pretty sedentary today so we'll see how tomorrow goes since I plan on riding my horse and going to the gym afterwards.

Hope you're all well!

[Help] Moving and why it is a disaster
/u/whenigettomoab [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 EWWWW | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 21:21:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfskc/moving_and_why_it_is_a_disaster/
---
So I am really excited to be moving and starting a new job, and to live on my own and all that, but the actual process of it has been horrific.

For starters, I had a huge going away party. It was wonderful, so many people came to say goodbye to me that I didn't expect, I got some very touching gifts. But with the party came a lot of binge food, and a lot of alcohol. More specifically beer. I love beer, but usually when I have it I carefully budget it. For the party though, we had a keg, and we FINISHED IT. I drank a seriously ungodly amount of beer and got fat from that.

On top of that, apparently everyone I've ever met who wasn't able to make it to the party likes me well enough that they wanted to go for a drink/bar food a different night. So all my free time has been spent drinking loads and eating crappy food. Cue getting more fat.

Now today is the big day! I've been moving all day (from one state to a neighboring one), with the help of my lovely mother. But you know what hanging out with my mom all day means? Eating out at restaurants for every meal. And thus getting more fat.

Additionally, because I am waiting on buying things so I can avoid sales tax, and had to order some things online, I don't have a scale yet! And I don't know yet when I will! So I actually have no idea when I will be able to know what the damage is and get that visual motivation to get it under control.

I keep just trying to remind myself how much more I'll be able to restrict once I am living alone instead of with my parents, and how great my new career will be. But seriously I am so miserable from the process itself. I could really use some support for getting through the rest of this and getting myself back on track :/

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Anybody else only attracted to very thin people?
/u/pretentiousintrovert
Created: Mon Mar 21 20:42:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfnko/rantrave_anybody_else_only_attracted_to_very_thin/
---
I didn't realize until pretty recently that I prefer way skinnier guys than most girls! It definitely has something to do with my food obsession...

[Discussion] [Discussion] Article on the ever changing BMI standards in the fashion industry, quite interesting
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 114 | BMI 17 | -11 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 20:29:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bflsn/discussion_article_on_the_ever_changing_bmi/
---
http://i-d.vice.com/en_au/article/the-bmi-debate-how-do-you-measure-the-health-of-models?utm_source=idfbanz

[Rant/Rave] broke my fast and binged today :/
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 20:26:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfldd/broke_my_fast_and_binged_today/
---
but tomorrow i'm getting back on track and fasting for a week. i can't believe i let myself lose control again, i didn't even need to eat. i will succeed this time though, i have to.

[Rant/Rave] DAE feel the same even after significant weight loss?
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Mon Mar 21 20:01:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfhzu/dae_feel_the_same_even_after_significant_weight/
---
In mid 2014 I was at my HW of 185 lbs . I ended the year at 170 lbs. I ended 2015 at 168 after dropping to 158 in September. Huge failure but a good kick in the butt.

I'm down to 148 lbs and I feel like I'm still 170 when I look at myself. My clothes tell me I'm smaller, but I still see the same rolls and cellulite and jiggle from when I was 20 lbs heavier. I really don't see anything different. My stomach is huge, my thighs are the width of every seat I sit in, my arms have that bat wing at the bottom. I can pinch a solid inch on my ribs of fat.

I want to see progress but I just dont. Maybe in 30lbs lost I will feel better? I just want to see some changes in the mirror or when I look down. It all looks the same still.

[Help] My binge recovery plan-- will it work?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 19:40:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bff44/my_binge_recovery_plan_will_it_work/
---
[deleted]

[Help] FUCKIN HELP PLEASE
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 17:55:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bf0du/fuckin_help_please/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Fasting Diary: Day one.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Mon Mar 21 17:36:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bexlk/fasting_diary_day_one/
---
First off to preface this I hope this isn't against the rules I am still unsure of what things are permissible or where the line falls and what is over and within the lines so if this isn't allowed I am ok with it being taken down. I just wanted to create a public dialogue while fasting.

It has been almost 24 hours since I last ate. I was so disgusted with myself after stuffing my face with Pizza last night (I had four small slices of pizza from this local place in Seattle.) before that I had a binge so the pizza was on top of the binge. My binge in order consisted of the remains of some veggie yakisoba (800 calories according to my girlfriends guess), a protein bar (30g of protein and 290 calories, a small cupcake (probably 300 calories) and three small pb and j sandwhiches (300 each so 900). Adding all that up to a total of 2300 about and then adding pizza on top of it. It must have been over 3500 calories. I feel so sick thinking about it. I need to learn how to not royally fuck myself like i tend to do.

Looking back I feel more comfortable the farther I am from this last binge. I have decided to try and go til the end of the week (friday) starting today (monday) and want to log my thoughts every day if I can. I am brain storming other ways to keep my cravings and binge thoughts at bay. I lost almost 10 pounds on my last long fat which was about 5 days I feel like I can come close or at least empty myself out. I am drinking diet soda sparingly and allowing myself coffee and water. That will be all. If i have the energy I will go to the gym and lift and do cardio.

Right now with the day almost complete I feel anxious. I want to eat but know I shouldn't I can't be trusted around food. I ballooned up to 180lbs from 160 because I can't keep control of myself and the thought of being in control feels unimaginable. I am trying to envision what good eating days could look like. I was day dreaming earlier while studying for finals about what skinny me would eat.

breakfast: a small bowl of oatmeal, a banana, an apple or half a protein bar. not all of this but one of these things. no more than 200 calories for breakfast.

maybe a piece of fruit or some carrots, celery or a bag of spinach for a snack but never a snack more than 100 calories because a snack shouldn't be a meal or require any preperation.

lunch may be half of a serving from some take out restaurant like a burrito or half a sandwich ( no more than 300 calories) maybe a piece of fruit on occasion if the main entree is smaller still no more than 300 calories.

maybe another snack here or there if i feel like it or a sweet craving of no more than 100 calories.

dinner no more than 300 calories at best 250 some how.

I can't imagine what these hypothetical meals look like. I dream of eating like a ballerina or like a model. what the fuck do models do to be so skinny. I watch a show weekly that has the most beautiful models and they also look so waify and thin and beautiful. I want to look like a male model like one of saint laurent's or something of the like but it's tough to imagine getting that low. My dream is to be as close to 120 pounds as I can but I am making baby steps.

Thank you anyone who had the patience or care to read this. Send me positive vibes or thoughts. I have no idea how to get to where I want to be from where I am. I feel hopeless and lost. I would go to the end of the earth to be thin but I can barely control myself for a day or two. I am sick.

[Intro] An embarrassed and long hello
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 16:15:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bel6j/an_embarrassed_and_long_hello/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I'm trying to find sustainability
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 15:32:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4beeaj/im_trying_to_find_sustainability/
---
I can fast for two or so days, but then I go back to eating, and to be honest, I actually don't tend to binge when I go back. The cycle isn't super strong for me. But for the following days, it's like a snowball. As in (monday)fast, (tuesday)fast, (wednesday)1200, (thursday)1000, (friday)1500, (saturday)1900, (sunday)2700, (monday)4500+. and then I start it all over again. Clearly that's slow weight loss. But when I'm not caught up in that, I try for 600-1000, which as a 5'7" young woman, it seems as though that should be possible and sustainable. I don't understand why I can't be consistent. Has this happened for any of you? How do you deal with it? For those who maintain higher restrictions with fewer binges, what's your secret? Have you always been able to do that? How did you work to it?

[Rant/Rave] So this would be my third day of fasting if I hadn't eaten a veggie wrap
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 15:26:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bedbf/so_this_would_be_my_third_day_of_fasting_if_i/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] What you eat in private you wear in public
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 15:17:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bec0d/thinspo_what_you_eat_in_private_you_wear_in_public/
---
http://imgur.com/a/OlYhs

[Rant/Rave] I seriously think i was done with this place. Apparently, life has other plans.
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 120.4 lbs | 22.02 | -4 lbs lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 14:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4be7q2/i_seriously_think_i_was_done_with_this_place/
---
Just here to vent since i have no body. I recently got into a new relationship with this amazing guy that has never, ever said anything to make me feel insecure. We've only been together for one week but we dated for two months and talk every night for 2-4 hours. I know, seems like we're rushing but i think he's the one.

Ever since meeting him, i stopped being obsessed with food and weight loss. He takes me out to eat he says I'm perfect and he loves my curves. I'm 5'2'' and I am 123 lbs. Well since I've been feeling super confident with him and in general, i decided to show him some pictures of when i was thin, around 107 lbs. I seriously thought that he wasn't going to like it. Especially since he doesn't date his own race (asian) because he thought the girls are way too thin so he'd date hispanic or black. Was I fucking wrong...he got turned on and said i *looked amazing. I laughed and tried to not show him how that hurt my feelings.

Anyway, I just want to say that I'm back and I'm ready to do this shit 100% nothing will fucking stop me this time. My worst fear right now is that i think i may be pregnant. I was excited about the idea but now, it's probably the worst thing that could happen to me. Anyway, I'm on my way to the store for some diet cokes and cigarettes. I'll probably buy a pregnancy test also. Good to be back i guess.

[Rant/Rave] Fucking kill me
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 21 14:19:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4be2i3/fucking_kill_me/
---
I hope my period strikes soon cause I'm binging ON EVERYTHING for the past three days. Oh my god, it's almost here I know that but I'm hating myself. I was so close and I want to restrict again.

[Rant/Rave] Ready to see the scale again
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Mon Mar 21 12:45:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bdmiw/ready_to_see_the_scale_again/
---
It's been a fucked two months but I'm going to check when I get home. Hurrrrr

[Rant/Rave] The Pig strikes again
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 12:19:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bdi05/the_pig_strikes_again/
---
I bought 40 dollars worth of binge food yesterday, and I ate it all. Two cookie dough packages, two pizzas, a gallon of ice cream, 12 protein bars, and a box of cookies. Even after a week of binging. I haven't slept and I haven't gotten any of my schoolwork done because of my fucking binging. My stomach is still in pain and my entire body has bloated out. I keep binging and binging and I'm just so sick and tired of it all. I've been stuck in this vicious cycle for nearly two years now. I am so, so done. But I can't escape no matter what I try. I want to be clean and perfect again. I want to be 80lbs again.

Fat chance of that happening.

My cousin is now around my lw so I feel like shit for being the fat cousin. I'm ashamed to exist, let alone go out in public.

I'm just so sick of myself. My life has been thrown into chaos. I'm utterly disorganized, my hygiene is poor, my school life is suffering severely, and I can't stop fucking binging. Fuck me.

[Intro] Hello hello
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | 168.8 | 24.48 | -6.2 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 11:56:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bddxp/hello_hello/
---
Quick intro: 24 years old, 12 years of ED (anorexia, brief period of recovery, then bulimia), inpatient for bulimia and "complex PTSD" (whatever that means) about 3 years ago. I am now at my all-time highest weight. I've been flip flopping between restricting and binging the past year and am back in a restricting cycle, initially unintentionally but since realizing my double chin find it challenging to eat many old binge foods.

I have lurked on and off the past year and have resisted becoming an active member of this sub because i was ashamed to have a flair bearing my weight like black mark. Seeing as i hope the digits dwindle i am finally here. I appreciate you all sharing as you do!

[Help] Don't know how to get over my fear of "heavy" foods. Help?
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 132 lbs | 23.2 | -108 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 11:24:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bd8di/dont_know_how_to_get_over_my_fear_of_heavy_foods/
---
I find myself occasionally opting to eat a single small piece of chocolate instead of a salad for the same amount of calories simply because of the size. Something about my stomach being that full of food makes me uncomfortable and I don't know how to get over it because I know it's not logical. It especially annoys me because I know how much healthier the greens would be for me than the chocolate, but I feel much more comfortable with the latter. :/


Does anybody else have this problem? How do I get this silly logic from my head?

[Goal] So I'm finally gonna cut back on drinking
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 11:22:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bd80b/so_im_finally_gonna_cut_back_on_drinking/
---
It's going to be hard. I'm not doing it for me, but my motivation is partly the weightloss that will occur. I'm hopeful, but also an addict. We'll see. Thank you guys for always being so supportive with all my rants and raves!!! <3

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 21 10:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bcuv3/daily_food_diary_march_21_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] DAE get anxiety when there's a lot of food in your house?
/u/Thepuginpink
Created: Mon Mar 21 08:31:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bch8n/dae_get_anxiety_when_theres_a_lot_of_food_in_your/
---
Like I have my own apartment and sometimes my mom will take me grocery shopping and get a lot of food. I don't get food I'll binge on but just the fact that there's so much food in my apartment makes me anxious. Does anyone else do this or am I just weird?

[Rant/Rave] Huge KFC B/P Session :'(
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Mon Mar 21 06:40:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bc320/huge_kfc_bp_session/
---
To sum it up, I ate 2706 calories in 16.5 MINUTES! :'(

I walked into the shopping centre with the intention of getting a juice and salad, and ended up binging on greasy junk food and purging in the bathroom. I feel so dirty and yuck. And I felt like my stomach and head were going to explode simultaneously. I feel so drained and ill and unhealthy. I wish I could pinpoint some deep trigger, but I feel like I'm just a weakling making excuses for herself. I binged because the fast food tempted me and I didn't fight the urge hard enough.

I just needed to vent this. Hopin' to do better tomorrow...



[Discussion] Has anyone used this trick to cut rice calories? All I eat is rice but coconut oil scares me.
/u/zealpeal [5'9'' | 137 | 20.2 | none in some time | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 06:12:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bc04l/has_anyone_used_this_trick_to_cut_rice_calories/
---
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/03/25/scientists-have-figured-out-a-simple-way-to-cook-rice-that-dramatically-cuts-the-calories/

[Intro] Call Me Dollz
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Mon Mar 21 06:04:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbzdk/call_me_dollz/
---
Hi everyone,

New to this sub, but not new to... well, this.

I'm 23 and Australian. I developed an eating disorder when I was 16 years old. Currently, my eating shifts from day to day between BED patterns and bulimic patterns. I also have gone through restrictive EDNOS periods and one big attempt at recovery (hosp./psych.)

I am currently obese. It's difficult to tolerate. It invokes so many different emotions. Life feels like hell a lot of the time. When I leave the house, I feel so ashamed - like I am taking up too much space; like everyone is seeing me, and thinking the same thing. When I look in the mirror, I feel very embarrassed to exist: I often wish I didn't. I feel anger, frustration and regret over my weight gain. I feel sadness because I feel like my life will be forever on pause due to me being too ashamed to live it. I think my family (particularly, my father) think I am a disappointment because I am overweight. I sometimes think my friends are embarrassed to be seen with me. On the internet, I see various groups and conversation dedicated to hating and making fun of people who are my size; they say nasty things, and I wonder if a lot of people see me and think those things too. When people comment on my 'style' I want to tell them that I don't like any of the clothes I wear - they are just the only clothes I could find that fit me... I would dress differently if I could. Living with oneself is difficult when one likes themselves so little. I'm tired of this existence... but that's my story right now.

On a lighter note: I am currently a full-time student. I love cats, video games, reading and a bunch of other things. I'm pretty friendly, and I'm excited to be a part of this community.

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! March 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 21 06:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbz32/weekly_stats_update_march_21_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 21, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] It's Monday! That means a whole new day and a whole new week. Remind yourself why you're doing this. You will accomplish your goals <3
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 05:56:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbyin/its_monday_that_means_a_whole_new_day_and_a_whole/
---
http://imgur.com/a/bSFc2

[Intro] Glad I found you guys.
/u/kaaatmeow
Created: Mon Mar 21 05:24:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbvr7/glad_i_found_you_guys/
---
I'm currently on mobile and will update my flair when I get home. I just needed to post.

I've posted one other time for support, but I kept eating a healthy amount due to breastfeeding to make it work. I was underweight before I got pregnant. Then through pregnancy, pre eclampsia, and 20 weeks of bed rest, I ballooned up to my highest weight ever. Breastfeeding was really important to me so I ate a healthy amount to keep my supply up, and tried to lose weight healthily. I wanted my son to have everything I could give him.
We had a lot of problems with breastfeeding, but I did everything in my power to make it work for 6 MO. I turned my obsession into making it work until a year. He has his own personality, and I won't go into the details, but he just hates it.

So that broke my heart basically and now I'm left with just me. This fat blob. I'm getting married May 28 and can't believe what size I had to order. I lost 15 lb since the beginning of march, so that's something. But I'm just at a loss. I made a promise not to go back. I'm still a really good mom, I'm still really good in school, I do everything I need to do. But my confidence has plummetted, and now I'm back. I feel like such a liar. It like all the thoughts have come racing back 10x as worse.

I guess this is my intro. Thanks for being here guys. I've been lurking, but I guess there is no one else I could tell without them thinking I'm a bad mom.

[Discussion] Gimmicks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 02:32:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbhzp/gimmicks/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] My fucking stomach (rant)
/u/pineapplesandham [5'3 | 96.5 lbs | 17.6 | -10 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 00:40:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bb9a3/my_fucking_stomach_rant/
---
I hate my belly fat. It won't fuck off. I think it's gotten smaller since I started, but it's definitely still there. Also, after I eat anything my stomach area gets swollen and big, probably because my ribcage is huge and it just fills it.


Fuck. I wish I were one of those girls with slender waists and small ribcages :/

[Tip] Laxatives don't help you lose weight!
/u/useh3rname [4'10| 85| 17.76| -20 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 00:04:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bb61y/laxatives_dont_help_you_lose_weight/
---
The amount of diet posts on this subreddit involving laxatives is honestly concerning. They do nothing to help you lose weight; it's a myth. The only affect they have is on the large intestine whose primary function is re-absorbing water from feces, so that means by the time food even reaches the large intestine all of the calories and nutrients have been absorbed already. It has no impact on the amount of calories that you consume. The only thing you're losing when using laxatives is water.

Laxative abuse is incredibly dangerous and over time it actually causes damage to the colon as it adjusts to the laxatives so more and more are needed to have the same effect. This also impacts the health of the smooth muscle walls of the large intestine and they can become stretched and lead to other digestive dysfunction such as irritable bowel syndrome.

You might feel thin afterwards but, trust me, they don't work.

[Rant/Rave] Liquid "fasting" tomorrow.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 23:56:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bb5aj/liquid_fasting_tomorrow/
---
I just got back from dropping my cousin off at the airport. She arrived Friday morning. She's a major foodie and I live in Vegas so naturally she wanted to eat out *all* the time. Seriously, we ate at restaurants for 2 meals **everyday**. She paid for everything, which was nice, but I feel so disgusting and huge!

Anyways, I'm on spring break for the next week and I've decided to do low cal restricting (300-500 cals/day) compared to the high cal restricting (600-800) I do when I have school.

I haven't done low cal restricting for a while so it'll take some getting used to. So tomorrow, I plan on having protein shakes (150 cal each) in place of meals. 120 for the powder and 30 for a cup of almond milk to mix with. Oh, and a cup of coffee with a bit of cream in the morning. That'll be a little less than 500 calories in total for tomorrow. I don't really consider this to be a fast since my liquid calories are *so* high.

My goal is to be 5 pounds lighter a week from now, which I think is reasonable considering in the past I'd typically lose 3 pounds every 2 days of eating 500 calories. Weight loss will definitely slow down when I get back to school but at least I'm getting a good start over break.

I have absolutely nothing scheduled for tomorrow so I intend on sleeping in, running a few errands, going food shopping for low cal items to eat this week, doing some serious spring cleaning and overall just having 1 nice day to myself. Taking a long bath, giving myself a pedicure, etc. I haven't slept in even one morning since the semester started in January. I'm so happy to be on break.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend!

[Discussion] A friend just sent me this weird treatment for bulimia
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 22:10:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bausz/a_friend_just_sent_me_this_weird_treatment_for/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Longest you've gone fasting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 20:34:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bajfb/longest_youve_gone_fasting/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Drink enough water!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 20:09:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bagck/drink_enough_water/
---
I never realized how important this was until the last few days.

I've been using the plant nanny app to track my water intake, and has changed how much I eat drastically! In the app, you get a cute plant to water, and as you meet your intake goals, it grows! Now I find that I'm not eating as much or as often because I'm trying to catch up on water. I strongly recommend trying it out and seeing what you think!

[Rant/Rave] "Too skinny, lotophagi!" As if. Rant.
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 20:03:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bafj7/too_skinny_lotophagi_as_if_rant/
---
I am very angry and am going to rage for a minute. Im also on mobile, so no flair and sorry for the wall of text.


I have been trying so hard to be good and stay around 1100 cal a day, with some days even at 600 to 700 in the mix. I havent purged in a while. I think maybe i did once since i posted i would stop and start restricting. Ive lost some weight... and apparently its noticeable. I wore a form fitting dress last night and actually felt almost confident enough to not wear tights AND initiate sex with my bf. Bloody fucking confidence is returning finally. Then i woke up hungover... and i ate a massive meal and skipped all my medications and stacks. And i put on tights and noticed that my thigh gap was returning. As in... like the light at the top is noticeably wide and there is now a sliver of light coming through between my knees...


So i snapchatted it proudly to my friends and sisters. Like, ive been busting my ass in mostly healthy ways and not binging as much and not purging, and not really restricting as consistently as i have in my past. Im still thick in my legs and i have noticeable fat in my arms and lower back... i dont look fragile at all. Whats the first snap reply i get?! "Too skinny, lotophagi!" It begins already. Fuck this i want to lose at least 10more lbs. I dont want to deal with their comments... i want to be confident and happy like i was last night. I want to be proud of my progress. I want them to shut the fuck up. The one who replied first is fat anyways... like.. beer drinking frat party fat... freshman 25 on that one. Fuck no i dont think she's a decent judge of my body. Fuck that.

So now im depressed. And im binging. Just... not gonna log today in MFP because we are talking probs about 3500 calories. No joke. Im gonna throw up half of it anyways, lets be real. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Thank you for existing, my proed lovelies... nobody in the non-ed world understands, despite where we are in our cycles or our recoveries, or on or off wagons, i know that we "get it" ♡

Besides, at my height i can lose at least 10lbs and still be "healthy" so fuck the haters.

Fuck.

[Rant/Rave] After ~4 months I'm back. I super fucked up, and I'm back where I started.
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 59kg (130lbs) | 19.9 | -0kg | F | 20yo]
Created: Sun Mar 20 19:40:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bacln/after_4_months_im_back_i_super_fucked_up_and_im/
---
When I left you guys I was 48kgs, with a BMI of 16.2. My boyfriend came back from overseas and everything had begun to unravel. I couldn't log my calories as often, I couldn't visit this sub at all and I didn't have a scale or even a measuring tape any more. I also stopped caring, and I ate and ate and ate, everything I'd been craving for the past two months and more. I ate even though I was painfully full. I'm now 59kgs and my BMI is 19.9. It will take months to undo the damage that I've done. I feel disgusting.

[Goal] I am so tired of being fucking disgusting
/u/ffj_ [5'4" | way too much | ridiculous | - | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 19:33:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4babq6/i_am_so_tired_of_being_fucking_disgusting/
---
Starting tomorrow I am going to go on a liquid diet. The only things I will be allowed to have are water, tea, coffee (I work and don't sleep much),and laxatives. I will do this for 30 days to see how small I can get. Then, for the next 30 days, I will be vegan, then back to the liquid diet. I have always wanted to be slim and pretty and I really think this will work out for me, I just have to resist cravings. Honestly, it will be easier than when I have tried before, since there is barely food in our house, but working in fast food will make it hard. I want to lose a lot of weight before I go off to college, wish me luck. :)

[Rant/Rave] i'm disgusting and have no self control
/u/throw38928away
Created: Sun Mar 20 18:07:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ba080/im_disgusting_and_have_no_self_control/
---
today was supposed to be the 4th day of a fast but instead i've been bingeing like crazy for the last 3 days. i'm so disgusted with myself and i know i've gained a ton and i'm just so frustrated because i *need* to have control over myself and when i lose it i really lose it. i can only hope that i can get back on track tomorrow before this gets any worse. sorry everyone for the negativity i just really needed to get this off my chest. (ps this is from a throwaway because i post here semi frequently but i'm so ashamed right now)

48 Calorie Breakfast???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 17:52:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b9xzb/48_calorie_breakfast/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Laxatives and water... three days personal challenge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 17:11:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b9sef/laxatives_and_water_three_days_personal_challenge/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Why is my brain so silly?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 14:05:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b91iy/why_is_my_brain_so_silly/
---
I try to contextualize everything related to weight. I know it takes ~3500 calories to make or lose a pound of fat. I **know** this. So why is it that when I look in the mirror the day after a binge, I suddenly feel obese and actually see myself as obese? And why is it that after not eating for a day, I look in the mirror and feel small and dainty and actually see myself as small and dainty? It's so counterintuitive! I know that the body changes aren't made in a day...they're made over several days, several weeks and several months. Buh, it's so frustrating to have to remind yourself of that and convince your brain it's true.

[Rant/Rave] Does this make anyone else irrationally angry?
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 127.4 | 20.65 | -23.2 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 13:47:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8yye/does_this_make_anyone_else_irrationally_angry/
---
Last night I was texting my friend after shopping that day and offhandedly mentioned that it had me feeling a little chubby (not looking for validation, it was just related to something that happened in a store and mostly meant as a joke). Typically this is a person who would respond with something along the lines of either 'lol that would make me feel super chubs too' or 'yeah I get that but don't worry you look fine', depending on the day, and then drop it. This time she went into like a full fledged multi text thing about it and how I wasn't fat and I was hot and I looked really good and I know she was just trying to be nice but it was overkill, especially since she has no idea about ED related things.

The thing that was ridiculous though is the last time she actually saw me in person I was only a few pounds from slipping into the overweight category. I DO NOT carry my weight well. It's all gut, lovehandles, and thighs. I'm very flat chested and my butt is only moderately sized. And this is a girl who has maintained a sub 20 bmi for her entire life so it's not like a whole 'well you're thinner than me so you're not allowed to feel fat' thing either.

How am I supposed to trust what people say about me with things like this? Like if you're going to say how good I look when objective measurements indicate fatness does that mean you're lying to appease me or is it just because overweight/obesity is so normalized that you honestly can't tell? I don't know. It just kind of made my blood boil and there wasn't really any socially acceptable way to respond with how it honestly made me feel.

[Discussion] How do you feel about diets like this?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 20 13:01:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8s2a/how_do_you_feel_about_diets_like_this/
---
http://youtu.be/RWUUC-W2mME


She "used" to have an eating disorder and now eats like this. How is this possible? is this possible or is she purging?

How do I get BACK on the wagon?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 12:47:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8pyt/how_do_i_get_back_on_the_wagon/
---
[deleted]

[Help] severe anxiety...all my calories are from alcohol...
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 124.5 | 21.65 | F | 27y]
Created: Sun Mar 20 12:35:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8o54/severe_anxietyall_my_calories_are_from_alcohol/
---
As I writing this, I have downed a complete bottle of sparkling rose wine because there is no way I would have stayed calm without it. I am writing my master thesis atm and I'm about to finish my masters...in...Psychology.

Yeah it's ridiculous. I don't know how else to combat my anxiety but with alcohol. Unfortunately I live in Europe where there is pretty much nothing available without prescription.

I am too scared to talk to my doctor because hello? I study psychology, am about to finish my masters, and everything gives me panic attacks? I feel so stupid.

I just had about 600 kcals in alcohol which is all I had for today. I am probably too drunk to write my master thesis but tbh I don't care. At least I don't get panic attacks...

...do any of you get anxiety attacks? How do you deal with them? I feel so stupid, really, and I know it's irrational fear but I don't know what to do with it... :(

[Help] Can't stop thinking about how I fucked up
/u/thatnachocheese
Created: Sun Mar 20 12:31:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8nik/cant_stop_thinking_about_how_i_fucked_up/
---
Basically ate a ton of cake today and the scale's gone up to 121 even though I was at 116 on Friday. I know that a lot of it is water weight, but it's making me feel really, really miserable. I haven't properly binged this weekend (I have a tendency to do so every weekend and forced myself to be careful this time) but it's really discouraging. Tips for getting your mind off it?

[Tip] I made a spinach dip with 95 calories and 15 grams of protein. 5.3 oz container of plan 0% fat Greek yogurt and three teaspoons of spinach dip powder mix. Amazing with low cal veggies.
/u/gabriellashock
Created: Sun Mar 20 12:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8j1y/i_made_a_spinach_dip_with_95_calories_and_15/
---
http://imgur.com/WfpMGMc

[Discussion] Take care of yourself, guys.
/u/i_sigh_less
Created: Sun Mar 20 11:39:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8fy3/take_care_of_yourself_guys/
---
[removed]

[Help] Going to try a little experiment...
/u/l-ostcaus-e [5ft 6| Fattest of the Fats | F | GW 1: - 15lbs | UGW: 99lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 20 10:38:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b87bf/going_to_try_a_little_experiment/
---
I've gained up to a disgusting weight since starting uni in January; when I was living at home I hit several goal weights really quickly and it was starting to look like I was on the right path for once.

I'm going home this Thursday for nearly 2 weeks for Easter; I'm going to see if I can lose whilst I'm home and if I can then figure out what the fuck I'm doing differently there to here because I can't think of anything. Which is really fucking frustrating, because I always assumed that once I'd come to uni I'd lose even more as I can now get to the gym easier and so go 4 - 5 times a week (5 minutes walk from my flat rather than 30 minutes walk), I walk every where (no car or parents to give me a lift), I have complete and absolute control of my food (I suspect this may be it - I seem to have no self control up here... but I didn't think that it was that bad? I've been logging on MFP and been coming up under 1200cals almost every day) and I now have a very active job three days a week compared to five days a week of a sedentary job.

Here's hoping I come back a little lighter and a little enlightened!

[Help] Any ideas for objects to wrap around my thigh?
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 10:10:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b83fs/any_ideas_for_objects_to_wrap_around_my_thigh/
---
Is this a thing? I see it in thinspo photos and it's great, but I never know if people actually do it or if it is just art for photos. I've been wanting to wrap a rubberband or a headband or SOMETHING of the sort around my upper thigh to wear under my pants while I'm at work, out, etc. As a constant reminder of my size, a constant reminder to not eat or to eat only safe foods. I feel like throughout my day, I become comfortable/complacent with my body and eat whatever I want, only to get naked at night in front of the mirror and regret it all. I have thinspo photos on my phone but when the food is in front of me, it's hard to take out my phone and seek out the photo before I take a bite. I feel like a nagging, constant physical presence would work a lot better.

Anyone do this? On which body parts? And with what objects? I just want a reminder, not something that will cut off my circulation and make me ill.

Thanks!<33333

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 20 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b82bd/daily_food_diary_march_20_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Intro] Hello darkness, my old friend
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 129.0 | 20.13 | -41 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 09:54:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b818q/hello_darkness_my_old_friend/
---
I'm melodramatic, sorry about that. And a lot of rambling below.

I've not had issues with eating, well, issues with undereating for about 6 years now. In high school for a year and a half about, most days I restricted to 180 calories a day (1 jumbo egg + 2 pieces of bacon). It was more for awhile because I didn't realize Splenda packets were ~2-3 calories a piece and ate a frightening amount of that just by the spoon. Cheat days would be a 460 calorie salad. I was underweight (16.9), lost my period, but not so underweight that my parents noticed.

In college, drinking and smoking and a boyfriend helped give me confidence and make my appetite grow and my eating habits get worse. I gained a lot of weight, more than in my entire life. Most of the time I was in my 140s. In 2015 I had severe anxiety issues and gained 20-something lbs, with my high (low) point being 170 lbs.

I had friends coming to visit me in 3 weeks and that freaked me out, since I was ashamed of my weight. I heavily restricted (wasn't counting, but I tried not to eat at all, had about a quarter cup a day of mujaddarra). I lost 15 lbs, that seems like a lot so probably some water weight issues, but it made me feel great. It kick started my motivation for losing weight, but the right way for once.

So I've been eating healthy, doing 1200-1400 calories a day most days, but not perfectly, for months. I've lost another 22 lbs. It's just not enough for me anymore. I've felt a calling back to my ED for years, and those 3 weeks felt like Zen for me. For the past couple of weeks I've been sobbing to myself with those voices coming back into my head.

My original goal weight was to be 125-130. I'm bringing that down to 120 now. Or maybe 115. I told my fiance and myself that I can stop once I get to my goal weight. But I've told myself that before. My first time in high school, my starting weight was right where I am now. I feel like my old self is creeping around the corner waiting to grab me again.

But also I feel at peace and just excited about eating less again. At least for now. I know it was definitely not peaceful, but maddening, the further I went down the rabbit hole back in the day... I don't think I can get back to how extreme I was in high school again. I'm planning 600 calories a day this week. But that makes me so much happier than thinking about 1200-1400 I was having before.

Anyway, as I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day, the song The Sound of Silence jumped in my head and this part of the song seemed appropriate to me.

>Hello darkness, my old friend,

>I've come to talk with you again,

>Because a vision softly creeping,

>Left its seeds while I was sleeping,

>And the vision that was planted in my brain

>Still remains

>Within the sound of silence.

[Tip] Fight fatlogic with fatlogic.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 09:13:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7vvk/fight_fatlogic_with_fatlogic/
---
Whenever I get people bugging me about my weight loss, most of the comments I hear are like "you'll put yourself in starvation mode!" or "only dogs go for bones, real men like curves". *Ick.*

Fight fatlogic with fatlogic. Say, "oh, I just have a new setpoint" or "my metabolism is just really fast". It's much easier to explain than "I restrict/purge/exercise (any combination of the three) more than you could possibly imagine".

[Goal] I reached a milestone I haven't seen since early 2011 (5'7" 149 lbs)
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Sun Mar 20 09:00:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7u61/i_reached_a_milestone_i_havent_seen_since_early/
---
Today was the 3rd day in a row I weighed in under 150lbs. I am sturdily under 150lbs for the first time in at least 5 years.

I remember when I was gaining weight it was winter 2011 that I first saw I was going to be over 150 for the first time in my life. I ballooned up to 185 in summer 2013. After that I dropped the 10 lbs in 2014, another 10 2015. January 1st 2016 I weighed in at 165. Today I am 149.

I want to thank this sub and all your support. I want to be in the 130 by summer and 120s by fall. Then I'll see. I know the weight is going to be slower to fall off at the end so I think setting a goal now would be too much guess work. Of I could loose 3lbs in the next 10 days I would be over the moon, but I'm happy ending the month sturdily under 150.

[Rant/Rave] I feel more valuable when I'm smaller
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 08:21:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7oqx/i_feel_more_valuable_when_im_smaller/
---
Recently a friend told me my face looked "so thin!" My face has always been one of my main trouble points. I've been self-conscious about my round cheeks since I was very little, sure that they destroyed my looks and prevented me from ever really being beautiful.

As I've lost weight I've noticed it in my face, especially in a more defined jawline. So, when my friend made that comment it confirmed my hopes and changed everything. I'm more confident speaking in groups, as if people will respect me now that my cheeks are smaller. I stand up straighter. I smile more and crack more jokes.

I live in constant fear that no one likes me and that they just keep me around because they are nice, not because I bring any value to their lives. But suddenly I'm finding that fear less present. All at once I believe, just a little bit, that people might like me.

And all because of a jawline.

I'm never eating 4-digit calories ever again.

[Help] Going on holiday (vacation) and feeling really anxious about the food there
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 142 lbs | 23.5 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 08:06:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7ms1/going_on_holiday_vacation_and_feeling_really/
---
I am going on holiday with my partner for 10 days and he loves food. He will only eat at restaurants or fast food places while we're away and it's just the two of us so it won't be easy to not eat. I go between restricting and binging. There's no in between for me. I've been really good at restricting these past few weeks but I'm worried that this holiday will make me go back to old habits because I'll get used to eating excessively again.

Does anyone have any advice for eating at restaurants on holiday? Or how to stop being so anxious about the amount of food I'll end up eating?

I should be looking forward to this. It's a holiday to a place I've wanted to visit for like 10 years and my stupid brain just can't let me enjoy it.

The site for quick s...x Da RDjGcg4D0
/u/t26em78sb9
Created: Sun Mar 20 07:44:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7jxu/the_site_for_quick_sx_da_rdjgcg4d0/
---
http://123flatshare.com/l04vP3FNl1uGpk4

[Rant/Rave] The moment the scale says a new low
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 20 07:42:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7joa/the_moment_the_scale_says_a_new_low/
---
Brain: "ITS TIME TO EAT EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE!"


Hahaha ha ha ha :(

[Rant/Rave] He left me last night.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 07:41:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7ji3/he_left_me_last_night/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] A Rant on Friends, Boyfriends, and Goals.
/u/queencactus [5'8/173cm | 143lbs/65kg | 21 | -59lbs/27kg) | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 06:26:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7b09/a_rant_on_friends_boyfriends_and_goals/
---
_Sigh._ As much as I love my friends and boyfriend, they don't get it. TBH that's why I post here - because no one _gets it._

My boyfriend and I were discussing how attractive my friend was - I told him her height and weight. She's 5'2 and 50kg or 110lbs (I had to do conversions, he's British-American 😜).

I'm 5'9, and 70kg or 154lbs. That was my GOAL (for the moment). I cried when I got to it today.

He called her so tiny and little. He didn't think about .. well, he didn't know. He doesn't know I wish I was small. He doesn't know I wish I looked like her.

I wish he thought I was "little".




Sorry this is whiney, I'll probably delete it later. Just had to vent/have a cry!

Can anyone empathise? I'm not even sure with what, lol.

[Rant/Rave] Planned on a water fast.
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 03:25:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6ymc/planned_on_a_water_fast/
---
Family brought me to a new fast food drive-thru place instead. Nothing that isn't carby or a fatbomb. No salads, nothing. Family knows I'm trying to do keto but forced me to "relax" once in a while. Didn't want to seem suspicious so I ordered a small burger. Chowed the whole thing down.

It's four hours later and I'm in bed. I can't stop thinking about all the stupid burger pieces inside my stomach. I can't stop thinking about the grease flowing through my arteries and veins. 380 for one burger. 380 down the drain on some stupid gross burger. The scale has been stuck past couple days. This burger I ate will not help at all.

Holy fucking christ I feel like crying. I won't binge, I know I can control myself. 11 days binge-free while staying mostly staying under 500. I'm not even over 500 for today. I have no desire to eat. But 380 on some lard covered sandwich? I feel like crying. I shouldn't have eaten it. I should've at least just eaten half of it. But my parents have made comments on how little I'm eating. The way I wobble when I stand up because I get really dizzy. They've noticed. I have to be more careful.

380 won't stop ringing inside my head. The sounds and the feeling of burger sludge inside me. I don't think I've ever been more disgusted by anything.

[Goal] I reached a BMI of 19!!!!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 20 02:41:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6w7j/i_reached_a_bmi_of_19/
---
So, last week was terrible. Hit a new low on Sunday, binged on Monday and took the whole week to get back to that new low. Hit it yesterday, B/P but I still hit a new lowest weight!

I'm almost underweight and that's such a weird thing to be excited about but yay!

I have a question
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 02:25:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6v9i/i_have_a_question/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I'm never giving up control again.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 01:54:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6tgk/im_never_giving_up_control_again/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I can do this
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 00:55:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6pmg/i_can_do_this/
---
It had been an awful week here. My kids were on spring break, it did not go well (my kid pulling a fire alarm was the least crappy part), I've binged almost all week, my anxiety is through the roof and I'm fighting with my husband. We leave for Vegas in two weeks and I look like a cow. Right now I'm starting a 24 hour fast, minimum. Tomorrow I'll get 10k steps in, no matter what. Is anyone on fitbit who wants to do a challenge this week?

[Rant/Rave] Today is my Seventeenth Birthday
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 22:53:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6fmj/today_is_my_seventeenth_birthday/
---
I thought I was going to come on here and know exactly what to type. I thought that I was going to write this with a clear message in mind. In my life I portray myself to be this definite, decisive person with very clear goals in mind and I, *of course*, know exactly how to get there. And sure many people think this of me and rely on me to act in that way, but I'm not.



I've lost nearly thirty pounds in two months. I can't honestly remember much of what has happened, just a major fallout with a friend and a competition I won is all. But honestly, no. Nothing besides that. My life has become a haze. I don't know anyone. I don't know anything. I've never really not **known**.


I've lost one of the closest people I've ever had in my entire life, and she said it wasn't my fault-- I know it and so does she. But I feel like there's this divide between me and other people. Some impregnable wall between me and the rest of the world where I don't know how to communicate with others with anything besides explaining how I'm fine and asking for homework and small talk. I have basically zero confidence. I don't talk much to anyone anymore. My teacher let's me sit in a cozy chair in his room since it's just a Gifted class and read or do whatever. I sit there through class and force myself to sleep during the lunch period. I never wake up by the end of the period until he wakes me up.


It's disgusting to feel like this. I hate it but I love the results. I just want to be smaller no matter what it takes of course but I honestly can't help but feel so isolated from the world. There's just me and the chair. I've lost connection with so many friends. People that I barely know who know my friends have started to talk about my dramatic weight loss. One of them asked a friend if I was bulimic. I like restricting more than purging.


No one else really gets it. I think part of it is severe depression and another is my ED. I only have two friends over on my birthday and I'm not that close to either of them, so sure in a corporeal sense I have people there for me but how close am I to them? I have friends but I can't talk to them about anything much really. It's just terrifying to be alone all over again. I can't tell anyone because of the aforementioned wall. I can't connect to people anymore. It's just me.


Today is my seventeenth birthday. I am alone.

i'm too sick.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 19 22:36:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6dxh/im_too_sick/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Recovering, but not leaving.
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 20:34:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b5znm/recovering_but_not_leaving/
---
I've wanted to recover in some way for a long time. I've had disordered eating nearly my entire life, and I am certain that I'll never fully recover. I haven't attempted to recover for real or reached out to anyone for help because I don't agree with the way modern psychology and mental health care works, I've been let down and made worse by that system many many times. I've figured out that the only way for me to reach some sort of recovery is through fitness and weight lifting, and I feel like my mentality and emotions are at a point where I can choose to do this.

I've started a simple (but effective, I'm hoping) workout routine, and started eating in a way that lets me keep some of my comfortable ED habits while still eating enough to maintain my weight and gain muscle. I don't want to go above 95 pounds until I'm at least 30, and I don't want to go above 100 ever again, although I'm hoping to get my period back at some point. I still want to be delicate, thin, bony, and not take up too much space or too many resources.

I know this isn't gonna be anywhere close to a full recovery, which is part of why I'm not distancing myself from thinspo or pro-ED communities. This sub feels like home, I love every single member of this community. I still have an anorexic's view of the world and my body, and I'm keeping a lot of my habits, so normal fitness communities wouldn't feel right to me, they wouldn't understand me and I wouldn't understand them (not to mention the general taboo against EDs and people with them).

I guess I'm not even really recovering, I'm just trying to manage my ED in a different way than I have been so far. **I'm NOT trying to tell any of you to recover, and I won't be pushing recovery in my posts/comments after this. The lack of forced recovery in this sub is the reason it's great and I want to keep it that way.**

I guess the point of this post is just to talk to people who understand, if I went anywhere else with this all I'd get is responses telling me I'm not trying hard enough and I have to recover completely with a doctor and meds and a meal plan. It'll also be nice to have some context if I relapse.

Thank you all for listening <3

[Tip] What helped me kick cravings
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 19:36:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b5sc6/what_helped_me_kick_cravings/
---
Especially for bread. I fucking love bread. Anyways, here's what you do:

* chamomile tea

* dried lavender

* mint leaves

* almond milk

Brew the tea, lavender and mint together. Add a spoonful of almond milk. If you're feeling adventurous add a little bloop of honey too.

It makes a very light feeling but filling tea that's got a bit of a nutty taste to it and it totally demolished my nightly carb cravings.

Also:

make [pretty ice cubes.]( http://i.imgur.com/yxKjeKL.jpg) Freeze rose petals, lavender, mint, hibiscus, etc into ice cubes. Pretty and fragrant water!

Bonus you will feel like a fairy princess after making/using them.

[Rant/Rave] Weird rambling
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 18:12:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b5hbu/weird_rambling/
---
So I recently went on vacation, I met some Internet friends, and they were so complimentary to me. And then I get back, at work, and more compliments. But honestly, when I look in the mirror, I can't even tell I've lost 50lbs. I feel just as fat as ever (to be fair, I am still fat, my flair is accurate to what I am right now, I'm 162lbs at 5foot tall, and I just used to be really super fat). I just... I want it gone, and I can't understand the compliments, every time someone is complimentary I want to tell them: I'm still fat, really. People think I'm done loosing, and hahaha, but yeah no. My UGW is 97 (i don't tell people that, I tell them 120).

I don't want to be acceptable, I want to be fucking exceptional.

[Tip] Stopped taking the EC stack
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 16:59:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b57g1/stopped_taking_the_ec_stack/
---
About 4 days ago I stopped taking the EC stack. I was taking 1/2 a Bronkaid (12mg) with 1/2 caffiene (100mgs) and two tablets (200mg) of L-Theanine daily. What caused me to stop? I got a sinus infection. I know Bronkaid should work for this but I needed something stronger. MucinexD extra strength. The pro: I literally don't feel hungry for 12 hours. The con: I feel WAY more hesitant about taking this long term than I do my once-a-day half dose of Bronkaid. My not-a-Doctor advice is to use sparingly and for legit purposes as mucinexD will make you dehydrated as shit, but I'd thought I would share with you lovelies.

[Discussion] Slightly off-topic, but where my league of legends players at?!
/u/spaghetti_enthusiast [5'4.5" | 133lbs | 22.43 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 16:19:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b524m/slightly_offtopic_but_where_my_league_of_legends/
---
Hopefully this is okay, but I noticed a few of you guys citing League of Legends champions as your thinspo, so I thought it'd be cool to make some new league buddies! :) I've been wanting more people to play with so give me your usernames and I'll add so we can play. You can post them here or PM me if you want. Seeya on the fields of justice HAHA

[Discussion] High-calorie restricting vs. low-calorie restricting
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Sat Mar 19 15:27:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4v2s/highcalorie_restricting_vs_lowcalorie_restricting/
---
What do you do? I constantly have this struggle of whether to eat less or more. On one hand if I eat more I'll feel better, binge less, be able to get to a lower weight without my body shutting down. But once I reach 1000 calories, I feel guilty. Knowing that my weight loss is now going to be slower. If I go over 1000, I start to feel like I'm faking my ED. Right now I can't get myself to eat more than 700 but of course, I feel like crap. It's so stupid.

[Thinspo] Cigarette
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Sat Mar 19 14:59:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4rbs/cigarette/
---
http://i.imgur.com/VdW6seH.jpg

[Goal] I have every excuse and opportunity to binge today. I want to prove to myself I won't. I love you guys.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 14:45:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4pfe/i_have_every_excuse_and_opportunity_to_binge/
---
Today is Saturday. Saturday of St Pattys Day weekend. I'm babysitting all day today. I'm currently sitting in chik-fil-a while my niece and nephew run around in the play area. I ordered a large coke zero and I've been sipping on it. Everyone around me is eating their meals, their desserts, etc. I'm alone at a table with $150 cash for babysitting and no one to judge me except myself. I could buy anything in the world and eat it in quiet solitude. Or I can use this time as an excuse to restrict since no one is watching me. I'm scanning the faces in this place and there are so many obese, miserable people just MINDLESSLY stuffing their face. OR there are overweight people eating with this look of manic happiness on their face that is clearly food induced and...disgusting and miserable to watch. I'm clean and content with tiny pangs of hunger shooting through me to remind myself of the body I'm in control of. I could sit with hunger pains OR bloated post binge pains. I like the thrill of the former and so mine it is :) It is oddly satisfying to watch other people consume calories while I remain at 0. And I'm pleasantly caffeinated too. I love you guys, I love that you understand me. I love that I can sit here and mindlessly ramble to you. After this, we are going to the movies to see Zootopia (I'm so pumped, I fucking love getting lost in children's movies, they're honestly so funny and innocent and uplifting) and the kids will get candy. They're kids, they won't judge me, I could indulge with them and mindlessly eat ANY candy i want. I'm fully equipped with AMC gift cards and a lot of them. But I'll sip my water. I'll remain clean and I'll find enjoyment in the movie, not the sweet indulgences that we've been conditioned to associate with movies. I refuse to let my reward system be food. Fuck food. My reward system is life. A comical movie can placate me more than a temporary, expensive, and unhealthy candy. After the movie I'm sleeping over my sisters house where she has ice cream, chips, pizza, pretzels, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. She gave me one instruction: "eat WHATEVER you want, our kitchen is yours." To some people, this would be a warm invitation. To me, it is a challenge. I pledge to not eat a single marcel of her food. In the past, I've binged while babysitting because she falls asleep and I'm alone with a ton of food I never surround myself with. But not tonight, no sir. Tonight is a special challenge.

Thanks so much for listening, thanks for letting me lay out my goals here so I'm not alone with the exciting buzz of goal setting and so I can be held accountable by the understanding nature of this community. Thanks <3

[Thinspo] Androgynous fashion thinspo 2! (NSFW)
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 13:36:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4fw5/androgynous_fashion_thinspo_2_nsfw/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/fccQQ

[Help] Nausea from EC Stack?
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 13:25:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4ecr/nausea_from_ec_stack/
---
I'm not sure if this is how EC stacks work but every time I take it I get super nauseous and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I try to drink a full bottle of water with it so its not just hanging out in my stomach but I have to stop myself from gagging every 2 minutes for the next 45 mins. After that I get the energy boost and don't feel hungry anymore.

Is there anything I can do to make it stop making me feel like I'm going to puke everywhere? Or is that the point of the EC stack - to make you feel sick so you don't eat. Or maybe I just have a ~delicate stomach~

[Thinspo] Surprise thinspo. I love how her jumper hangs off her shoulders.
/u/thebondoftrust
Created: Sat Mar 19 12:40:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4805/surprise_thinspo_i_love_how_her_jumper_hangs_off/
---
https://imgur.com/0CF65Vn

Still looking for a kik group!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 19 12:12:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b441f/still_looking_for_a_kik_group/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] anyone else obsessed with the Paper Test and other "fad challenges"?
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 11:22:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3wzh/anyone_else_obsessed_with_the_paper_test_and/
---
saw [this](http://www.latinpost.com/articles/118638/20160316/social-media-craze-has-women-comparing-their-waist-size-to-paper.htm) earlier today and it reminded me of the old 'collarbone coin challenge' from a while back, I used to be soooo proud of being able to get those dumb quarters to stay. I'm sure I'll end up obsessing over a piece of paper too (though it seems kinda easy to cheat that one :/).

Anyone else get super hyped up when the internet presents one of the "fun new ways of measuring yourself"?

Anyone have some favorites they'd like to share?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 19 10:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3lx7/daily_food_diary_march_19_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I quit
/u/KingofSuicides [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Mar 19 09:58:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3lea/i_quit/
---
I quit. I started restricting to 1000 calories in November. In mid-February I bought a scale and found I had lost *no* weight. I was devastated and I posted about it here.

I restricted to 600 calories a day and about a week ago I posted again that I wasn't seeing a lot of progress.

As we head into the last week(s) of March, my scale is telling me that from the time that I went to my doctor at the beginning of November to today I have lost about **2 pounds**.

I have been so *fucking* hungry and craving all kinds of food but I've been good. I've cut out coffee, tea and soda. I drink only water. I consume mostly soup. I walk daily for about 30 minutes at a brisk pace, my heart rate gets up there into the "vigorous exercise" arena (according to my fitness app).

All I have to show for about five months is a whopping **2 pounds**. I've received a lot of support and good advice here, some of which I've put into practice.

I thought about giving up food entirely but I honestly don't believe I have the willpower to do that. So I have to make one of the hardest and most personally devastating decisions of my life: I have to accept that I will be fat forever and I will only get fatter and, as a result, I'm going to hate myself, going to be disgusted by myself.

And the worst part of it is that there is nothing I can do about it.

My body will *not* lose weight.

Maybe I'll try again when I balloon to 200 pounds or maybe I'll just kill myself because if I ever see that number on the scale, it will be the end of me. I will not live in a body that is that enormous.

So, this is the end of my ED journey. I quit.

[Help] breaking a fast help - also treatment advice?
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 09:54:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3kwi/breaking_a_fast_help_also_treatment_advice/
---
i'm fasting today! it's my first time fasting in a long long time. only hoping to go 40 hours as i am going to kind of bae's house for dinner tomorrow.

will i need to do anything before then to break it so my body won't be weird?

anyway, just thought i'd share that i feel nice, kind of tired and low energy but also in a weird way not, like i've done loads of tidying and went and read in the park and stuff. belly is really rumbling but it's a good feeling. so sick of b/p!

my mum has said i need to go to a doctors and to a support group so i'm going to be doing all that on monday. idk i'm kind of worried about it. the doctors telling me i'm too big or laughing at me and also feeling competitive in a group? idk help haha

[Rant/Rave] First post and a huge rant.
/u/CementeryDrive
Created: Sat Mar 19 09:46:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3jsx/first_post_and_a_huge_rant/
---
Im writing this on a mobile so dont be too upset about typos and bad formatting. I made this account a long time ago for embarassing sexquestions etc, so my post history reflects that. Pls dont judge me on them. Its hard to make a new account on my stupid and old mobile.

Ive lurked here forever, and never had the guts to post. I think I was affraid of people calling me a fat wnb, and from time to time I see posts ranting about people who dont really have an ED, so I think I was affraid to be judged. Now I'm so lost and have no one to talk to about this, since I know all of my friends would be worried and I don't want to deal with it. I just feel like I need to talk to you about this.


I'm now sitting on my boyfriends mothers couch. They are playing chess so I have the opporunity to write this. We just got here from a pizza place. My boyfriend, who has lately gotten worried about me "eating too little" (I ate 900cals yesterday, all infront of him, ugh) ORDERED A PIZZA FOR ME WITH FETA CHEESE ON TOP OF THE REGULAR PIZZA CHEESE. Cheese is one of my anxiety foods, cause I used to love it when i was obese. I would have ordered a falafel and salad combo, cause mushing the falafel and hiding it in the salad works well for me. When i heard him order my pizza I felt like crying, but his mother was there so I smiled and said thats what i wanted anyway.

I know my BF means well, but it felt like a betrayal. I was a lot skinnier when we met and I let myself be gross and fat, and I'm trying to get back on track. I feel so weird cause at the same time he is so proud of me when i lose and is exited to see the body I used to have come back, and then says things like "you can have pasta once in a while" and "you dont have run every day." Yes I fucking do THATS HOW I GOT THAT BODY THAT YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH.

But anyway, as we are sitting in the pizzeria I can feel my boyfriend watch my eating, like its his job to make sure I stuff myself with trash. I ate half of the pizza, then I felt so gross I had to stop, told them that Ill ask to have the rest of it to go, and excused myself to go to a bathroom.

I have never purged before, but I really felt like my body was telling me to do it. I don't plan on starting purging, but I felt like this was a expection cause I didn't want to eat it. But I couldn't. I was in the bathroom for like 15 minutes, literally sitting on the discusting floor, and even tooked my hairbrush out of my bag and showed the handle as far down my throath as I could. Nothing. I felt like a huge failure. Like i was doomed to be overweight forever cause I couldn't even throw up disgustig fatty cheesepizza in a super gross public bathroom. I gave up, and now as I'm writing this I can feel my stomach digesting it and I feel like ive set my self back. Im so fucking weak I cant even make myself vomit.

I don't know why I wanted to write this, maybe I just wanted to let my feelings out. I have read all of your posts and comments for a while now, and im very inspired by all of you. You are all so strong, unlike me.

My boyfriend is usually awesome, but im affraid he wilm always have a fat girlfriend if he keeps doing this.

Do you have any advice how to handle these situations in the future? Im a mess now.



[Tip] So helpful- I'll try some! [recipes]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 08:31:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3a2e/so_helpful_ill_try_some_recipes/
---
http://anorexic-cookbook.tumblr.com

[Rant/Rave] It turns our the weight gain was real weight gain.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 06:40:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b2yeb/it_turns_our_the_weight_gain_was_real_weight_gain/
---
It's been two days. I was sick yesterday but didn't drink at all and the scale hasn't budged from 110 this morning. Fuck. Fuck oreos and fuck Chinese food and fuck alcoholism. (I love you even williams, you dirty cocksucker!) Alas. Back to the begining. Trying not to feel too much hate. Also my ass and thighs are sore. It's probably not muscles cause I've been so naughty. It's just fat depositing it's nasty self right back into my ass and tummy 😈😧😓

[Rant/Rave] It's 8am and I've eaten over 1000 calories
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 06:25:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b2wyk/its_8am_and_ive_eaten_over_1000_calories/
---
That's almost twice as much as I wanted for the whole day. Im so frustrated with myself. It was like i got down to 136 and just said "fuck it". Ive been barely hitting maitenance by exercising two+ hours a day for the past week

[Rant/Rave] What the F!?!?!?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Mar 19 05:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b2peu/what_the_f/
---
So I decided to have half a watermelon for breakfast, I normally eat the green ones and when I wanted to log it after eating it.. 600 cal? Please tell me this is a joke. I had planned 600 for my day.

[Goal] I can get my hands around the biggest part of my thigh!
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 02:55:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b2fug/i_can_get_my_hands_around_the_biggest_part_of_my/
---
It's something I check all the time, and for YEARS I couldn't get my thumbs to touch. But just now I did it! I'm ridiculously happy. Now if only my upper body would shrink too...

[Discussion] Dry peanut butter?
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Sat Mar 19 01:30:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b29g3/dry_peanut_butter/
---
Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do with it to keep calories low? No carbs so bread is out of the question.

[Rant/Rave] Hate myself, hate myself, no food, no water
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 18 23:55:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b21em/hate_myself_hate_myself_no_food_no_water/
---
I'm sick of things in my body

Tonight I'm taking my sleep medication (Seroquel + Klonipin for anxiety)

Tomorrow I'm drinking strong laxative tea and sitting by the bathroom. I'm home alone. I want to clean out my system. I will eat nothing I will drink nothing I will deprive my body I will make myself a BLANK SLATE and I will slowly add tea and soy milk, then juice, kombucha, then smoothies then we'll go from there.

7 lbs down but I fucking stuffed my face today.

I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I deserve this I DESERVE THIS

[Rant/Rave] I ate pasta for the first time in weeks/months tonight
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 23:28:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b1yvb/i_ate_pasta_for_the_first_time_in_weeksmonths/
---
I'm actually really proud of myself, but it's such a ridiculous thing to say to anyone in real life.

Pasta is absolutely my favorite food. I could eat it every day and be happy. But since I've been restricting again for the past few months I've had a ton of anxiety and fear about pasta; I'm afraid once I eat it I won't be able to stop.

I'm at a point with my relationship with food where I really need to prove to myself that I'm in control (because that's what this is mostly about for me, being able to control at least one aspect of my life). And being afraid of fucking pasta is just stupid a ridiculous (ugh, but oh so real).

But I logged the calories before hand and made myself a bowl. It was honestly hard to take the first bite, and I had to put Netflix on to distract myself. But I ate the bowl and it didn't lead to a binge.

I'm feeling really good about myself and want to brag, but I'm pretty sure you guys are the only ones who would get it. So thanks!

[Discussion] Does anyone know what happened to the creator of Butterfly Recipes? Link in text.
/u/OrchidandthePearl [5'7 | 106 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 22:47:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b1uvr/does_anyone_know_what_happened_to_the_creator_of/
---
[Butterfly Recipes](http://butterfly-recipes.com/2014/10/29/why-i-havent-posted-anything-for-so-long/#comments)

I just found this blog (someone on kik shared it with me) and the first post you see is her explaining that she had been ill. Did anyone here follow her in 2014? I'm really curious.

[Tip] Don't eat until you're on par with how much water you should have.
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 18:58:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b13so/dont_eat_until_youre_on_par_with_how_much_water/
---
I keep track of my water via an app, and if I'm not where I should be on my water I drink until I am. It makes me less likely to eat because a. I feel ill or b. My body just wanted water.

Shout out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 18 18:52:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b133o/shout_out/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] /r/skinnyfit is my thinspo.
/u/casschips
Created: Fri Mar 18 18:23:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b0zgu/rskinnyfit_is_my_thinspo/
---
Let me first start by saying that I get that everyone has a certain kind of thinspo that does it for them and I am in full support. I love how motivating it is and respect every kind. Dainty, frail, and even the most "sick" looking girls are all beautiful.

For me /r/skinnyfit is the ultimate thinspo. Instagrams like @viktortatrains are my number one motivation. I know that in order to work toward this look, I need to build a subtle amount of muscle mass, and then lose as much fat as possible in order to reveal it.

I love exercising and eating clean, but I'd love to bounce around ideas with other people who aspire for (or already have achieved) this look.

I love to plan and am looking to build a regimen to work towards this goal. Things like a set amount of water and sleep each day, a meal plan, and an exercise plan. Making exact and technical plans (e.g. At least 1 gallon of water a day) gives me the biggest boner. Rigidity and rules make me feel amazing.

Anyone else interested in working on a plan together? Does anyone else see this as thinspo like me?

[Rant/Rave] Getting new tattoo, new motivation; No hunger at all :)
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | 104.7 | 18.69 | -37.3 | Female]
Created: Fri Mar 18 18:12:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b0y33/getting_new_tattoo_new_motivation_no_hunger_at_all/
---
Hey, it's me Ellae, with my new account. I am back to my restricting ways. I binged myself into having abdominal dissension several times, gained weight, and really got out of control.

I have re-established my goals and I want to go for it this time. These last 10 lbs. shouldn't be this hard but I got complacent. No, I got ridiculously bingey.

Anyways, I am getting an awesome tattoo on the smallest part of my arm tonight. And I am not hungry anymore. I control my hunger and I dictate when I eat. And that's that. My body really doesn't need much food. I am small now and I will be smaller soon.

The tattoo is of a peony in a triangle with some pink and black for the colors. It is a delicate and pretty tattoo (haven't quite got it yet at this point, I am in the waiting area: will update.)

The tattoo is for my sister who died a few weeks ago, but mostly for me, to represent who I am and who I want to be and to always remember this month and my sister.

I will be in control, and I will be a delicate flower.

[Rant/Rave] Eating makes me feel nauseated
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 18 14:45:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b05ev/eating_makes_me_feel_nauseated/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Book PDFs; free on Google Drive
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 14:38:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b04f9/book_pdfs_free_on_google_drive/
---
Thank you to /u/perplexedketoer and /u/thininsp for reminding me about a project I started last summer. I've more recently added Fasting Girls and Purge (edit and Clean) and I'm working on obtaining more book PDFs.

In the meantime:

* Does anyone have suggestions for where I can relocate these files for easy sharing that is not my Google drive?
* Please leave me a comment if you'd like me to try and obtain a particular title that is not currently on the list.
* Enjoy [the current collection](https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B3Q11myA6WH7fmdwdk5BYUtIZnRnVFc4eGtuRkNSak5EYmVMcGVEek12RUJXTWw4NldGRzA&usp=sharing):
* Boys Get Anorexia Too (Langley, Jenny)
* Brave Girl Eating - A Family's Struggle with Anorexia (Brown, Harriet)
* Clean (Reed, Ann)
* Eat - STOP - Eat (Pilon, Brad)
* Fasting Girls (Brumberg, Joan Jacobs)
* Fighting With Me (Anonymous)
* Hunger Point (Medoff, Jillian)
* Kid Rex: The Inspiring True Account of a Life Salvaged (Moisin, Laura)
* Letting Ana Go (Anonymous)
* My Perfect Little Secret (Coppage, Rebecca)
* Purge - Rehab Diaries (Johns, Nicole)
* Skinny Bitch (Freedman, Rory & Kim Barnouin)
* Skinny Boy - A Young Man's Battle & Triumph Over Anorexia (Grahl, Gary)
* Unbearable Lightness - A Story of Loss and Gain (de Rossi, Portia)
* Wasted (Hornbacher, Marya)
* Wintergirls (Anderson, Laurie Halse)

*****

From /u/HellAbove:
> For kindle people: http://ebook.online-convert.com/convert-to-mobi
:*

[Rant/Rave] Why am I doing all this for a barely mediocre body?
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 13:46:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4azwsi/why_am_i_doing_all_this_for_a_barely_mediocre_body/
---
Sorry if this is all over the place, I've just been feeling really discouraged and I need to vent before I explode.


I've always known it deep down, but lately I've been trying to come to terms with the fact that I'll never be happy with how I look. Before I lost weight and was about 145, I looked bad. I know I did. My proportions **suck** in general and my legs especially were fucking disgusting. My arms and stomach were flabby, my boobs were pathetically small. I basically looked [awful](http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li2evnzYEP1qhfmrto1_500.jpg) and I hated it. I naively thought that weight loss would make my low self-image go away.


After losing some weight, my upper body is relatively small and bony because I have a wide ribcage, and my boobs shrivelled up even more. My legs aren't thin by any stretch of the imagination, but I guess they're at the higher end of "average" sized now. However, I'm still the same godawful shape, just a little smaller. What's worse, there are frequently still times when I look in the mirror and see myself exactly the same as I was at 145, massive legs and all.


My question is this: Why the hell am I torturing myself for a body that doesn't even look good? It looks *acceptable* at best. AT BEST. The only time I look okay is when I'm wearing figure flattering clothes and am not currently bloated. Most of the time (especially naked), I still look like a lumpy misshapen potato. I hate that I have to put this much effort into just barely looking NORMAL. I thought that "normal" was supposed to be the baseline of physical attractiveness–no effort required. Is any of this even worth it? Is it worth feeling dizzy and short-tempered all the time for scrawny arms? Is it worth having a constant headache for thighs that are *less* chunky than they were, but still look like tree trunks? Is it worth eating celery for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so that I can look like someone who mindlessly eats whatever they want? What the fuck am I actually accomplishing when I starve myself all day and binge the next morning only to be caught up in the same cycle of Restrict, Eat, Hate myself, Repeat? A mediocre fucking body, that's what. A body that won't turn stomachs *or* heads.


The hardest part to accept is that yes, it is worth it. I hate my body a little bit less than I did 20 lbs ago, and I wouldn't go back to what I was for anything. I think of the rest of my life stretching out ahead of me and I don't look forward to it, I dread the fact that every single day will be a constant and exhausting struggle with myself over something as fucking stupid as food. I don't even want to think about how my body will only get more repulsive with age.

I just wish that I felt happy with what I look like after everything I've put myself through, or even at least remotely satisfied.

[Rant/Rave] Was watching a movie with my ?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Mar 18 12:23:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4azjzw/was_watching_a_movie_with_my/
---
Questionmark cause he is like a half boyfriend? I don't know what we are. Haha

Anyways, he kept touching my hipbones and I felt so proud. I don't know if he's worried or it's something he finds hot.

[Discussion] The ULTIMATE Spring Break Cleanse... Who's with me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 18 11:01:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az7a6/the_ultimate_spring_break_cleanse_whos_with_me/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Its that time of week again... Thinspo friday #2!
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:58:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az6s6/its_that_time_of_week_again_thinspo_friday_2/
---
http://imgur.com/a/TjbA7

[Thinspo] Abbey lee, my favorite thinspo
/u/Thepuginpink
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:56:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az6jr/abbey_lee_my_favorite_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Kf48D

[Rant/Rave] House guest
/u/99percentvile
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:39:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az3uf/house_guest/
---
(Obligatory 'I had an old account for here and forgot password, but mainly lurked anyway' sentence)

So my roommate has his brother over here about half the week and it's really cramping my style. Don't get me wrong, he's nice and clean and all that. But my scale happens to be in the main area of our tiny apartment because our bathroom is basically a closet with a toilet and tub. It's never been an issue before! But he's often awake in the mornings, and those are when hopping on the scale matter the most.. I haven't weighed myself in 3 days (I sure as hell won't do it when he's there) and I'm anxious as fuck.

I don't know if it's a coincidence but I've also purged the last 3 nights too (after promising myself I'll stop again). I'm playing with fire here because my boyfriend is aware of my "past" disordered eating and has been with me when I've been doing it.

ANYWAY, I'll end my pity party. I'm glad I have a place to stupidly rant here.

[Discussion] (Not) counting calories
/u/fairyspice [5'4" | 110.6 | 18.98 | -11.4 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:39:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az3u7/not_counting_calories/
---
Does anyone else find they eat less when they aren't actively counting calories? Personally, if I give myself 800 calories I will find a way to consume 800 calories, even if it means eating crap food. If I just eat foods that feel safe without immediately checking the calories, I end up with fewer calories when I add them up at the end of the day.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ayxyt/daily_food_diary_march_18_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Tip] Holy bejeesus guise. Y'all need to try this!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 09:41:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ayuky/holy_bejeesus_guise_yall_need_to_try_this/
---
So I love instant/quick oatmeal and seeing what I can do with it. You can have a full bowl (40g dry) for 150 calories. I also like sweet stuff, so I like to combine them. My most recent is the 40g dry quick oatmeal with no cal sweetener to taste as it cooks. Then I added 1.5 tablespoons of apple butter as well as an obscene amount of ground cinnamon for a total calorie count of:

**195**

It's not a perfect "low cal" option, but for less than 200 calories, it's pretty bulky and sooooooo tasty oh my goodness! I attempt around 600 cals a day, and I think I'm going to just have this for every meal for the next week.

[Rant/Rave] Weird dreams when restricting.
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 08:10:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aygaj/weird_dreams_when_restricting/
---
I apologize if this is overdone, so mods, feel free to remove this and stuff if it's overkill.

Anyways, I have been doing very well at restricting for the past month and such, don't feel like binging any time soon, things like that. As always, the nightmares that come with my heavy restriction are totally draining on me. The first couple of weeks after the start of restricting, I'd have a lot of binging dreams. It would be so vivid and feel so real and I end up waking up crying and panicking and breathing gets really difficult while I'm on my phone opening up MFP to see if I really ate as much as I did in my dream.

Recently I've been having dreams where my skin is rotting. I'm still alive but (WARNING: prolly tmi and gross, prolly) it's peeling and scabbing and rotting and in the dreams people take notice and ask me why my arms look like they're red all over and peeling. I get this very panicky feeling and it looks gross and doctors say they can't do anything because it's prolly because I'm not getting enough nutrients.

Now I know what comes with severe restriction, but the idea of having unsightly skin, having it rot while it's on me, makes me feel so uneasy. It really discourages me from fasting because I'm afraid of having it happen for real.

Ugh, just wanted to vent, I guess. I'm determined to keep going but these nightmares make it so hard. *sigh*

[Rant/Rave] Overate but didn't binge. Don't know how to feel.
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.2 kg (95 lbs) | last binged 30th March]
Created: Fri Mar 18 07:42:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ayck0/overate_but_didnt_binge_dont_know_how_to_feel/
---
It's been an extremely social day, and I've definitely overeaten and have had a lot of high calorie foods, but I can't quite say I binged today (although I was very tempted to do so at lunch @ work and almost did. think uncontrolled snacking). Damage done today is probably approx 2500 calories.

Tl;dr I don't feel overly full, but definitely ate a lot today. Felt binge-y the whole day. Feeling binge-y now. Anyone else relate?

[Thinspo] Androgynous/Fashion Thinspo (NSFW-ish)
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 07:35:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aybk6/androgynousfashion_thinspo_nsfwish/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/UtjbK

Super women for s......x here qw3gRGLY
/u/m32gi95yw78o
Created: Fri Mar 18 07:08:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ay7bu/super_women_for_sx_here_qw3grgly/
---
http://activefitlife.com/GAT1gj9B5yt

[Thinspo] My ever-growing inspo album
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 06:52:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ay4tc/my_evergrowing_inspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/jKnm2

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! March 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 18 06:02:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axxuc/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_march_18/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for March 18, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] Male thinspo!
/u/_wildstrawberries
Created: Fri Mar 18 06:00:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axxo3/male_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/9k4nFE9.jpg

[Help] All I want is Cake!
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 05:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axuox/all_i_want_is_cake/
---
All I want is damn cake. I have everything in the cupboard to make cake. So instead I have made a cup of peppermint tea and am browsing this sub.

Any advice for resisting?? I can no longer purge.

[Discussion] Big plans!
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 03:58:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axml1/big_plans/
---
Since it went so well last week and I quite enjoyed it I thought I'd do another liquid fast for a few days! Then I can get another boost before my visit home.. Yikes! I'll start this afternoon/evening and then carry on until Tuesday again to eat, at least.

What are you guys doing this weekend? ;-)

[Discussion] What's your favourite low (or low-ish) calorie meal?
/u/justwanttolikemyself [5'1" | 101 | -43lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 01:19:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axae5/whats_your_favourite_low_or_lowish_calorie_meal/
---
Just curious to know what kind of things you guys eat, for me personally my favourite thing to eat is a slice of toast with laughing cow low cal cheese spread and a sprinkle of black pepper, it's filling and you get your calcium. It's heavenly and depending on the bread you use is around 115 cals all together! So what do you lot like?

[Intro] Weighed in for the first time in a year. Not good.
/u/dethleib [5'3 | CW: 115 | CGW: 110 | UGW: 96 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 00:01:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ax3kz/weighed_in_for_the_first_time_in_a_year_not_good/
---
First post here, lurking forever.

Last year I threw away my scale in an attempt at self recovery after becoming somewhat stable in my home life and career. I still continued to try and gauge my body based on clothing fit and visible bones etc, and some days are harder than others, but overall I could have a relatively normal intake. Today, while waiting with my BF at his doctors appointment I spotted the scale in the corner.

I couldn't resist.

Mortified to see I weigh fifteen pounds more than my highest weight ever. I had to try to show no reaction, so my boyfriend wouldn't notice, but inside I'm disgusted. I couldn't even tell I had gained so much this year.

I have to turn this around. I feel so backwards.. I let myself too far down. I don't even know how it got so far without me noticing. I felt like yes, I wasn't restricting hard anymore, but I was maintaining. Bullshit. Buying a new scale tomorrow, and punishment is coming my way.

[Help] I feel sad.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 20:22:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4awek6/i_feel_sad/
---
Today I went digging snow caves, which was marvelous exercise except for the four donuts I ate on the way home. Sigh.

The weather looked nice so I decided to go for a hike to try and work of as much of the food as I could. I did that for maybe 4 miles, and it was awesome. I thought "ok, maybe I didn't work off the donuts, but if I skip dinner maybe I'll be close enough".

Then mom wanted to go to an Italian place for her birthday dinner. Shit.

I feel like all of my effort today was for nothing. I probably ate close to 4,000 calories today, and there's no way I burned off 2,500 shoveling and hiking to bring me to maintenance. Oh well. Life goes on, I guess, but I sure feel sad.

[Discussion] give me courage! b/p cycle needs to fucking end
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 19:27:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aw70u/give_me_courage_bp_cycle_needs_to_fucking_end/
---
ok, so i've been stuck in a b/p cycle for 2 weeks almost now. thankfully i haven't gained any (have actually lost some, need to update flair) but i am fed up of feeling out of control, miserable, and consumed by thoughts of food.

starting tomorrow: my 4 safe foods only, 200 calories burnt off by exercise per day, and let's get this show on the road. i am hectic busy with university at the moment and part of me is like, i need fuel, i didn't pay x amount of tuition fees to put it up the drain, but that is binge mentality!

it's particularly difficult because i feel so spaced out most of the time but that is better than b/p - i have even been purging in the boys toilets!!! it's a shame because i look relatively thin right now ish (bmi must be low 16, upper 15) but my face is so fat that it throws everything off.

idk, i just want lots of cups of tea and for this phase to be done with. i can't stand the waste: time, energy, money.

i will eat my 4 safe foods per day: no more, no less, and be content with those.

(onwards and upwards - come at me tomorrow)

does anyone have any tips on either eating things all at once or in dribs and drabs? i only ask because the food i am comfortable with eating (comes to about 500cal but in 4 parts) i tend to eat all in one go at about 1pm. would it make my life easier if i spaced that out? sometimes i feel like i want to "Get all of my eating for the day done" which has worked for me previously but at the moment it looks like "get all of my eating for the day done" "oh god too much" "vom" *couple hours laterr* "lets just eat everything so we can get rid of it then quit it forever, hmm?"

[Intro] Sigh. So I'm back.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 18:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avy9k/sigh_so_im_back/
---
I doubt any of you remember me as I haven't posted here since like August or September? Anyways I'm 22 and was anorexic between the ages of 14 and 20. I recovered shortly after I turned 21 but recovery led me to gaining weight. So here I am again.

I tried losing weight the healthy way by eating 1200-1400 calories a day and exercising. I started lifting, too, and made gains but then I realized I **hate** making gains. My biceps and triceps are pretty big. I miss my dainty arms.

Being a college student and equestrian athlete, it's really hard to restrict. School sucks the life out of me. I'm on spring break next week for one week so intend on resitrcting to 0-500 calories a day. I only really need to eat to fuel myself so I can ride my horse and not die.

I may try to hit the gym next week but most likely I'll be too tired to do it. If I gather the energy to go, I'll probably just use the stationary bike and do some bodyweight training. I'm only 10 pounds to my goal weight so hopefully I'm down at least 4 pounds. That'll leave me with just 6 pounds to go.

When I started losing weight the healthy way, I was really proud of myself for *actually* being able to do it. I always thought I would only be able to lose weigh through ED ways. But then calorie counting and counting my macros just triggered me too much and, well, here I am

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Help] Help me out, ladies and gents...
/u/ravingmaven [5'2.5" | 150.0 | 27 | -15| F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 18:12:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avwc8/help_me_out_ladies_and_gents/
---
I don't know if I belong here. I'm becoming increasingly deceptive about my eating when I talk to family. I'm elated when I have the opportunity NOT to eat. All morning long I was saying to myself: "Nobody can MAKE me eat breakfast today." And I didn't eat breakfast. And it felt great. It felt great to be sneaky, and I felt strong for not eating.

I'm making a dinner of turkey stroganoff for my husband and boys tonight. I will eat with them. I had a two hundred calorie salad for lunch. I'll have a total of 650 calories today, roughly. It feels like a victory.

Anyway, I've been on a roll lately with this. I feel like I'm sinking into this deception, and it's becoming comfortable. It feels good. It's exhilarating when the numbers on the scale go down.

I'm asking for your support, I guess. Your kind words. Your feelings about going through the same types of things. Anything. Knowing that I'm not alone in being confused would be helpful.

Like I said, I don't know if I belong here. I am good to talk to, anyway, or so I've been told, so I thought I'd put this out there.

Thanks!

[Tip] Great Body Visualizer Tool
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 127.4 | 20.65 | -23.2 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 17:07:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avn16/great_body_visualizer_tool/
---
http://bodyvisualizer.com/female.html

[Help] Do any of yall have a Charge HR?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 16:55:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avlbv/do_any_of_yall_have_a_charge_hr/
---
My fit bit keeps adding walks as bike rides...i mean i am pushing a stroller at a brisk pace but idk about all that. Should I delete the exercise? I definately never trust the calories fitbit says I burn. The cute little liar!

[Rant/Rave] Something my mom does that helps
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 16:40:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avj4w/something_my_mom_does_that_helps/
---
This is just a little thing, but I've been thinking about it a lot.

One of the frustrating things about having body dysmorphia is that my brain seems to always find a way to be upset about *everything* that people say or do or don't say or don't do. If people comment on how much I weigh, I find it annoying... who are they to comment on my body and reinforce the idea that my weight is important? But if they don't comment on how much I weigh, that's even worse, because then it means that I'm not skinny enough for them to comment. Or if they scold me for how little I'm eating it enrages me because that's *none of their fucking business* but if they praise me for it or ignore it then I feel like they're invalidating the fact that I have a problem.

My smart and intuitive mother seems to have picked up on this, because now instead of commenting on my weight or what I eat, she asks me how *I* feel about how much I'm eating. Like, "are you feeling restricted by the amount you eat?" or "does weighing all of your food make it harder to cook?" in a completely neutral voice, like she's just genuinely really curious and she's not trying to imply anything. Her tone is what gets me the most, because she manages to avoid sounding overly concerned but still convey that she's really interested. And if I say "yeah actually, I do feel really limited" she'll be like "hm, well that's no good," and leave it at that, which leaves the focus of the conversation on my feelings and means that I don't have to deal with unsolicited advice or spend energy defending myself.

I really like it, and it makes me want to happy cry when I think about how thoughtful and considerate she's being. She's not making it about how my body looks, she's not trying to get me to do anything differently, she's not making it about her own feelings of being worried about me, she's not putting a lot of pressure on the conversation by making a big deal out of it, and she's not ignoring what I'm going through either. She's just giving me an opportunity to talk about how I'm feeling, if I want that. And I want to very much, I just rarely feel like I can because I'm afraid that people will do one of those other things.

I dunno, it's just nice. I love her a lot.

[Discussion] Can we get a megathread going for thinspirational movies and TV shows?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 15:51:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avbta/can_we_get_a_megathread_going_for_thinspirational/
---
I just watched Roman Holiday and was in total awe of [Audrey Hepburn's glorious 20-inch waist.](https://38.media.tumblr.com/962ff5a5a60f429c4e5c24daaf26b31a/tumblr_inline_o1zwjj3Vcx1u0cl7j_500.gif) Now I need to find more stuff to watch that prominently feature beautiful, skinny, well-dressed people that I can aspire to look like. Let's make a list! What's something that you remember watching and thinking "oh god oh god oh god I wish I looked exactly like that"?

[Discussion] So many of us here drink tea and coffee, show me your favorite mug or cup!!
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 15:45:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avazo/so_many_of_us_here_drink_tea_and_coffee_show_me/
---
I have a favorite mug and it got me wondering if all of you do too, so I thought it would be fun to show each other our favorite things!

Optional addition: favorite drink to put in favorite cup/mug!

I'll kick it off, [here's my favorite travel cup next to my favorite mug]( http://i.imgur.com/Y8hdSRo.jpg)

[Rant/Rave] Annoying friend's reaction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 17 15:14:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4av69i/annoying_friends_reaction/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Am I a jerk for being annoyed whenever my partner says "you're beautiful, no matter what size"?
/u/NaturalBlonde91 [5'6|CW:143|GW:125|UGW:120|BMI:23.05 |-33 |Female]
Created: Thu Mar 17 15:07:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4av59o/am_i_a_jerk_for_being_annoyed_whenever_my_partner/
---
My partner is a complete sweetheart, and she knows I struggle with food and body image. She tries her best to be supportive, and would never say anything remotely negative or critical about my weight. But whenever she says "I'll think you're beautiful, even if you gain 50 pounds" or "you're beautiful no matter what size you are" it irritates me. More than anything else, it irritates me so much. I know she is trying to make me feel better, but it makes me feel even worse. Because whenever I imagine myself being obese or even overweight I think FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. In my mind, I am fucking worthless and disgusting and hideous at a higher weight. Whenever I see old pictures of myself from my heaviest (one year ago) I think god fucking damn how did I let myself become so ugly and gross. So when she says "you're beautiful no matter what" I think

1. That's a complete lie. If I gained 50 pounds and became a shapeless blob, I would NOT be beautiful. And reassuring me that my 50 pounds of disgusting excess flab totes doesn't change how beautiful I am will not make me change my mind on that.

2. ... What if I do gain 50 pounds? What if I lose control of myself, and gorge my way beyond even my highest weight? When my partner says that she would find beauty in me even if I was obese... does that mean she thinks I will become obese someday, that she's preparing for that possibility?

I know that all of this is silly, and my partner is just trying to be as loving and protective as possible. But the dumb part of my brain doesn't interpret it that way, and I feel like I can't talk to her about it without sounding really disordered. :/

Also: I know that this is super petty, but it bugs the shit out of me when my partner says that her Mum is soooooo skinny and has even called her a stick figure before. Her Mum and I weighed ourselves the other day. We are the same height, and she is only 4 pounds lighter than I am. But my partner has NEVER called me skinny, or slim, or small, nothing. She isn't doing it to spite me, I know that it comes from the fact that her Mum used to be a lot heavier for most of her life, and is the lightest she has been in decades right now. But come on, her mother and I are nearly the same weight, and I've lost a lot of weight too! But her mother is the one who gets all the skinny comments, whereas I'm still "curvy" and "voluptuous". I know that she appreciates my figure a lot and means those words to be compliments, but again... the dumb part of my brain doesn't see it that way. :(

Can anyone else relate?

[Tip] I always have a heater by me
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 14:21:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4auy3b/i_always_have_a_heater_by_me/
---
Cause Im always freezing, no matter what I weigh. Anyway, I found out about toasted skin syndrome and I have it from sitting right on top of the heater 99% during the cold days. That's the weirdest name but it's like I have a permanent Web tan on my calves. So psa. Don't sit right next to the heater and be like me.

[Discussion] ladies who are larger-chested, when you started losing weight, did they change?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Thu Mar 17 14:18:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4auxk5/ladies_who_are_largerchested_when_you_started/
---
yes yes, i know everyone loses weight differently and all boobies are made up of different % fat/tissue. i'm 5'2" and a 36DD and i've had them since puberty. i was just wondering if you went down a cup size or two as you lost?

[Discussion] Favorite ED Books?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 13:59:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4auudq/favorite_ed_books/
---
I saw a post about an ED quote in a book (I'd link to it if I could but I'm on mobile) and was wondering what your favorite ED Books are? Especially if they're inspiring in any way shape or form!


I just realized reading is a great distraction from food :)

[Goal] Don't stop! Don't give up! x-post from /r/bulimia
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 13:54:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4autkt/dont_stop_dont_give_up_xpost_from_rbulimia/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/bulimia/comments/4ar1s3/one_year/

[Goal] Body check. (NSFW)
/u/losemore [5'10 | 145 | 20.8 | -44 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 13:09:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aum9g/body_check_nsfw/
---
http://imgur.com/VSAboU0

[Goal] Today was lovely
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 17 12:25:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4auf2e/today_was_lovely/
---
I had a long long day at work and probably burned 2300 kcal this day. And I made some zoodles with mushrooms and tomato and could have two plates full for only 270 kcal! It was lovely, filling and ugh, I needed this.

For the zoodles I made:

- 1 zuchinni (31)

- 400g of mushrooms (88)

- 400g canned tomatoes (96)

- garlic to taste

- 2 dried tomatoes (12)

- optional: chili sauce (12)

This was probably enough for two people, but hey, I worked hard

[Help] I feel like I'm in the freaking Twilight Zone here...
/u/thininsp
Created: Thu Mar 17 12:19:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aue2q/i_feel_like_im_in_the_freaking_twilight_zone_here/
---
So my weight has gotten down to the point where I am wearing a pair of size 8 jeans I had bought after I gave birth because I figured I'd need something to wear while I lost the baby weight.... um... yeah only took me two friggin years to need them, but anyway. So I have a drawer full of size 2/4 jeans waiting for me. The size 8s are actually too big, and I can put on the 4s and button them, etc and they aren't uncomfortable but they squish my waist in a bit and I feel so gross in them. It's ok! I will be in them soon. I need more than one friggin pair of pants to wear though so i went to the thrift store today to get something. A size 6 should fit great. I tried on the 3 pairs they had. OMG guys I couldn't even button them. Like not even close. What the ever loving fuck? The pair I am wearing is Levi, the pairs of jeans in my drawer are a mix. Some Old Navy, etc. They all fit, I tried them all on just yesterday!! So what the hell. I felt like I was in some sort of alternate universe where I didn't really lose any weight and i am still massively fat.

I'm kind of freaking out.

[Rant/Rave] My knees hurt so much
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 11:30:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4au68d/my_knees_hurt_so_much/
---
I started walking last week. l like walking and the weather was really nice. I started out with 3 miles, but doing 6 since this week. My hips and knees hurt really bad right now, it's terrible, ugh. I just want to complain about them, haha. I hope it gets better when my body gets used to this?

Do you have any similar pains or things?

[Thinspo] [x-posted from r/truethinspo] St. Patrick's Day Thinspo Album
/u/calorified
Created: Thu Mar 17 10:07:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atskb/xposted_from_rtruethinspo_st_patricks_day_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/9K0k7

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 17 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atrll/daily_food_diary_march_17_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] The scale is finally moving down again, all I had to do was stop fasting
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Mar 17 09:44:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ato3q/the_scale_is_finally_moving_down_again_all_i_had/
---
The binges took a huge toll all of last month and left me feeling completely out of control. Then I had a revelation, the binges started when I added fasting to my restricting. As soon as I went back to high calorie restricting (800-1000), the scale has started to budge again!



[Goal] Finally reached my first goal
/u/PippiLee97 [5'7"| 149lbs | 23.6 | -18lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 09:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atkle/finally_reached_my_first_goal/
---
I haven't been in the 40's since about 2014 leading into 2015. At the time I had started birth control (though I know I'm more to blame than the pill) and ballooned from 135 to 167.

I met a guy I really, really like, and I guess he has helped me stay on track. It feels so good to reach a goal, no matter how tiny.

[Tip] lost 7 and 1/2 lbs!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 17 09:22:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atk12/lost_7_and_12_lbs/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Sore bones
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 08:52:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atelk/sore_bones/
---
So, it's been 5 years since I had this little fat over my bones and I'm starting to wake up sore. Especially the lower part of my ribcage and my hip points are sore in the morning. Perhaps because I usually sleep on my side?

How do you guys sleep when you're at lower bodyfat %s to cushion your bones? I like my ever-shrinking size, but I don't like waking up feeling like I fell down a flight of stairs.

[Help] Time for food scale I guess
/u/Highlyunattractive
Created: Thu Mar 17 08:00:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4at4x0/time_for_food_scale_i_guess/
---
Yesturday I had 500 calories, it really didn't even seem like I made it up to that even. I checked the scale and I didn't lose, I still weigh 76.5lbs Mind you I didn't excercise and stayed in bed most the day. I'm still sad over this, I always hear 500 calories is way deficit. Anyway, I couldn't be sure I counted correctly because I don't own a scale.


Can someone give me advise on where to find a food scale? I've never seen one in store that counts calories, just grams and other.
Where did you find yours? Are they Online only? I'm in Canada so that may be why I'm having a rough time finding.

[Discussion] "I will thin and pure like a glass cup..."
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | too fat | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 07:36:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4at0pr/i_will_thin_and_pure_like_a_glass_cup/
---
"...Empty. Pure as light. Music. I move my hands over my body - my shoulders, my collarbone, my rib cage, my hip bones like part of an animal skull, my small thighs. In the mirror my face is pale and my eyes look bruised. My hair is pale and thin and the light comes through. I could be a lot younger than seventeen. I could be a child still, untouched.”

This is a quote from one of my favorite books by my favorite author - The Hanged Man by Francesca Lia Block. It's not usually listed with the typical ED books people read, but I highly recommend it. Her writing pulls me in and makes me forget about life and food for a while...

Does anyone else have any lesser known quotes they hold on to for motivation?

Edit: be*** dammit

[Discussion] Mental disorders and eating disorders
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | 154 | -12 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 07:24:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asyix/mental_disorders_and_eating_disorders/
---
So I got to thinking today about what kind of mental disorders correlate with eating disorders. For example, I have both bipolar disorder and binge eating disorder and my binging/restricting correlates with my mania/depression.

Does anyone else have something similar??

[Rant/Rave] Happy St. Patricks day! I'm celebrating by not eating any of the free food at work.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 07:06:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asvb8/happy_st_patricks_day_im_celebrating_by_not/
---
I walked into work today and was greeted by a tray of Irish themed cupcakes. A dozen of them, plump and shiny and full of fat, sitting in the kitchen, right outside my office. Im so done with this week that I simply stood in front of them for a moment, sighed "are you fucking kidding me?" And trudged to my office with my apple. it's still early. More people will come in with more holiday themed food, and I am not. Going. To eat. any of it. Fuck. That.

Tempting free food just looks like more bullshit I have to deal with now. I am not going to waste my time and intake on a stupid box mix cupcake, no one is going to guilt me into it.

We usually have this feeling, where if there's free food and you don't eat it it's kind of a wasted opportunity. I like to see it as, if you take the free junk food and you didn't plan on it, you're still wasting the food, it's just that now, youre wrecking your plan for the day too.

Hey, if you can live with an extra cupcake here or there, more power to you. I wish I was you. But I can't afford to feel wracked with guilt anymore over succumbing to spontaneous offerings and cravings. I'm not going to be hungry, I'm going to be strong. Empty. Light. Free.

Just a rant. Thanks for listening.

[Rant/Rave] Managed to eat >300 calories less than my limit two days in a row...
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Mar 17 06:28:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asp2x/managed_to_eat_300_calories_less_than_my_limit/
---
And I ate everything I wanted! It feels great. Exercise is an excellent appetite suppressant for me, apparently. Which makes things even better, because I burned about an additional 400 calories yesterday through exercise! Yay!

For those of you who are interested, I try to eat 1,000 calories a day because I exercise heavily. However, this week I've been doing so and ending up with <650-700 calories a day consumed. I feel great!

Thanks for the support. You guys and gals have been incredible! :)

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 17 06:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asm3e/weekly_emotional_support_march_17_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] Italy in the summer.
/u/thishour [64 in | 115 lbs | | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 05:41:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ask0s/italy_in_the_summer/
---
I am going to Italy in the summer and I have had an UGW that I have never hit. It's 99 lbs. I have had this goal for 4 years now.

This is it ladies, I fasted very well last week and binged the weekend through Wednesday and told myself it was okay, well.

It's not, it is not okay to be an uncivilized animal and have no control over my eating habits, I have control and I can do this.

This shouldn't be this hard, I am stronger than what I put in my mouth.

I feel happy skinny and unhappy when I eat. I am going to be skipping breakfast, eating a very very light lunch and a light dinner to get me through.

This is it, and I will do it.
I will look beautiful in Italy.
I will not waste a trip.
I am strong.

[Help] Any ideas about how to fix this issue? Weekends are never a fun time for me
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | 95.7 | 17.43 | -22 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 04:58:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asfuf/any_ideas_about_how_to_fix_this_issue_weekends/
---
http://imgur.com/Ep9fUE9

[Rant/Rave] Fasting tomorrow.
/u/thin-kitty [5'6 | 134 | 22.6 | -101 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 23:39:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4arp7l/fasting_tomorrow/
---
I have been binging so much lately for some reason and I really need to get my sense of self control back. Nothing but water and maybe a tiny bit of juice tomorrow. I can't reverse all this progress I've made or I think I'll seriously go crazy.

I'll probably just be chugging my water and hanging out here tomorrow. It helps to be among people who understand.

/endrant

[Rant/Rave] Managed to get myself hospitalized.
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Wed Mar 16 23:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4arnrw/managed_to_get_myself_hospitalized/
---
Not really sure where I'm going from here. After yesterday where I ate nothing and then drank vodka, today I woke up dehydrated, dizzy, weak, and couldn't even sit up. My friend came over and insisted on taking me to the ER. So far they've given me some fluids by IV and drew some blood.

I'm so scared right now.

[Rant/Rave] Just had a bath that really helped me out
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 23:16:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4armrl/just_had_a_bath_that_really_helped_me_out/
---
On mobile, sorry no flair.
I just took a bath with a Lush bath bomb for the first time in a really really long time. Since I moved into my condo 5 weeks ago, the only "me time" I've had has been driving to/from work in my car. In the water I was able to feel the water displacement more than it should be, my rolls of fat as I sat down, like a little spare tire. My legs are weak and my arms are flabby. I have lots of my face too. I'm more determined than ever since I finally had fucking time by myself to take before pics for weight loss. I love my bf so much but this needs to be a secret for a while and I can't do that without some alone time.
Successfully took my first EC stack today, barely ate dinner when it was pizza and he offered chocolate ice cream. It's nice not feeling hungry at all, I could really get used to this when I'm not working so much and I have time to work out and not have anyone notice if I don't eat all day.
Pardon my stoned, post bath, EC stacked brain

My husband is making me emotionally binge eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 22:30:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ari0b/my_husband_is_making_me_emotionally_binge_eat/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] [rant] sometimes I just hate my boyfriend.
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 21:56:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4are53/rant_sometimes_i_just_hate_my_boyfriend/
---
He just doesn't get it. He keeps asking me for nudes and its late and I have just binged and he says "oh you are beautiful" and then like 3 seconds later asks me again. No it doesn't fucking work like that. If I can't like my body enough to put something as normal as good in it, how the fuck am I supposed to take a naked photo? And telling me I'm beautiful doesn't change the fact that I am scrutinizing every flaw in that photo.

He is just telling me things so he can get what he wants.

[Rant/Rave] Horrible day
/u/dsprngact [4'10 | 119 | 26.6|-34| female]
Created: Wed Mar 16 21:54:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4arduu/horrible_day/
---
Today was overwhelming. I had advising for next semester and turns out I have to take 18 hours next semester to catch up to junior status. I also found out that I didn't get into the summer research internship that I really wanted to.

So I binged. And to punish myself further, I didn't purge. I feel like a miserable failure. I hate myself. Business as usual.

Just wanted to rant.

[Tip] Instead of binging what should I do?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Wed Mar 16 21:21:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ara1s/instead_of_binging_what_should_i_do/
---
I am trying to brain storm ways to occupy my time when I really want to binge. I go to school every day accept the weekends and had hours of time after school usually to fill. I don't like watching tv and usually spend time on other subs or sometimes watching netflix. what are some active ways to pass the time and keep me from binging.

what do you do to distract yourself or just as a hobby? I have been looking to pick up a new hobby or two.

[Rant/Rave] I haven't been very active as of late
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Wed Mar 16 21:10:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ar8mg/i_havent_been_very_active_as_of_late/
---
I used to be more active a month or so ago but things have gone really south in my life. I struggle with Bipolar disorder and gained a bunch of weight after being in a state of mania and depression and what seemed like only a couple weeks has left me struggling immensely. I can't control myself and don't feel like I belong among all of you beautiful people. I have strongly considered killing myself all accept for that fact that I can't do that to my family and my girlfriend.

Here I am writing a massive rant to you all. I feel alone and isolated. I don't see my friends anymore. I go to class and sometimes to the gym but whatever progress I make at the gym seems to be undone by the next binge. I have had a real problem binging the last two weeks. I binged every day for a week and here I sit now at 180lbs roughly what i would give to go back to below 170 and I don't know how long it will take. I keep trying to fast and try and lose weight quicker but after a single day I cave and eat too much. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel the fat keeping me from wearing some of my clothes. I feel worthless and broken. I feel like I royally fucked myself over and like it will take forever to reach my goals at this point. What I would give just to be 20lbs lighter like i was a few weeks ago but here I am 180lb. I need to get back down. I need to keep myself distracted so I might be lurking and posting more here but I can't make any promises. I just want to be smaller. I don't want to get any bigger. I feel every time i put on more weight i die a little inside. My perceived self value diminishes. I need to get a grip. I need to control myself.



[Discussion] Video Game character thinspo?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 20:01:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqzna/video_game_character_thinspo/
---
I love [Jinx](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FtuEF_PIuR0/maxresdefault.jpg) and [Battle Bunny Riven](http://orig09.deviantart.net/acd7/f/2012/348/8/d/battle_bunny_riven_by_knockwurst-d5o2n8u.jpg), but I have a hard time finding really slim female characters. Most of them are busty and have thicker thighs, so I was wondering if you guys had any other favorites?

Accountability
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Wed Mar 16 19:47:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqxtv/accountability/
---
[removed]

[Help] Horrible, massive, ever-perpetuating fuckups
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 19:41:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqx39/horrible_massive_everperpetuating_fuckups/
---
So these past few weeks have been horrible for me. It's been exactly 3 weeks since I reached my flair weight (97.8 lbs). And I have since gained nearly 10 pounds (I'm way too ashamed to update my flair). 10 pounds in 3 fucking weeks. That'd mean an average of ±3000 calories a day which, honestly, with the amount I've been binging, is pretty possible meaning very little of this is water weight. I absolutely hate myself for it, but I haven't been this suicidal in a long time which makes it really hard to care. I'm turning to binging as a way to punish myself for being fat, which I know is absolutely ridiculous and counter-productive but self harm is kinda my thing so I don't know how to stop. I'm really scared that I've just fucked everything up and I'll never become thin. Considering eating 500kcal more than planned is considered a huge binge by most people here, I feel like there's no way anyone's fucked up this much. Kinda wondering if anyone's fallen this deep into a binge-cycle and still gotten out of it & gotten back to losing weight (please comment if you have, I'm desperate for motivation). If not, let this post serve to make you feel better about yourself, because hey, no matter how much you've fucked up today, at least you're not me :)

[Goal] Ribs
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 113| 21.41| F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 19:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aquvu/ribs/
---
As I was getting ready to shower last night, I looked myself over in the mirror. Sucking in, checking for bones, jiggling and pinching the problem areas. Like I do every night. Ya know how it is.

And I noticed that I can see my ribcage on my back! It's barely noticeable and I have to bend over a little to see it, but its there, peeking out to say hello. I'm one baby step closer to my goals.

Now to not ruin everything by eating all the chocolate in sight. Fuck you shark week!

[Rant/Rave] A few desperate thoughts about frequent eating...
/u/MymlanOhlin
Created: Wed Mar 16 17:14:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqcvk/a_few_desperate_thoughts_about_frequent_eating/
---
Let's start this off by saying that I'm mostly sedentary. I hate saying it, byt it's the truth. I was never good at any type of sport, I am flat footed, and I'm diagnosed with severe depression. Now, this is not necessarily a death sentence for someone with an eating disorder, being sedentary just means that you would lower your daily intake of food to suit the amount of calories burned by your body's normal activity like breathing, sitting, pumping blood etc. Sounds reasonable, huh? Well apparently not!

I'm at my wit's end here. I tend to eat as much nutritious food as I can, but my body just rebels just a couple of hours later. I will be eating some oatmeal with skim milk and peanutbutter for protein, which really fills me up, only to find my body needing more just 1 or 2 hours later. I'm not talking about my brain craving chocolate 1 or 2 hours later - I'm talking headaches, migranes, sluggishness and even falling asleep because I'm exhausted (remember that this is while being sedentary). It's like my body just ignores the nutrition it JUST got, and it feels like I've gone 24 hours (not just 2) without food.

I eat around 1400 calories per day which is the proper amount for me, but if I want to not fall asleep sitting upright in the middle of the day, I need to cross that border. It just doesn't make sense and I'm desperate for help. Gah!

[Rant/Rave] Up 2 lbs
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 17:09:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqc5s/up_2_lbs/
---
And yes it is the end of the world. I have been having so many issues with binging and nobody in my outside life understands. My bf can eat whatever he wants and my family is all morbidly obese. The scale reads 110.2 and I was at 107.4. I have fucked up. This has been over a course of 3 weeks. I'm trying to turn around but I feel angry and discouraged. My binge/restrict cycle is fucked. Abd ive been drinking beer again in the spirit of summer. Fml. I usually just do liquor. The weed has made the binges INSANE. And my daughter is at a really whiny phase of her toddlerdom. It's just a whole cacophony of bullshit going on.

[Rant/Rave] Must get back on track after vacation.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 16:52:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aq9oi/must_get_back_on_track_after_vacation/
---
I was eating 'normal', aka binge mode, for like a week on vacation. And now I have to get back on track. I only gained like 3 lbs, I'm sure mostly water, but I can't let this get any further out of hand. It's so hard to go back, carbs and sugar are so addicting. Just writing this for myself, to say that I'm getting up early in the morning and running, and eating sensibly tomorrow, and fasting or at least under 500 this weekend. Must get my fat ass back on track!

[Goal] Baby Collarbone Progress
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 15:44:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apzjr/baby_collarbone_progress/
---
http://imgur.com/yWMMhLp

[Help] I just binged on 12 cups of white cheddar smart pop and I feel like I'm going to die
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 15:08:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apu03/i_just_binged_on_12_cups_of_white_cheddar_smart/
---
Honestly I wouldnt call this a binge calorie-wise because I fit it into the day, but I seriously need help because my stomach feels like it has a thousand needles poking out of it and I even had TUMs and how do i get rid of this discomfort? I feel like I'm about to burst :(

[Help] Worried about muscle loss-anyone experienced with this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 14:40:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4appg3/worried_about_muscle_lossanyone_experienced_with/
---
I just went on a vacation where I actually managed to eat between 1500 and 2000 calories a day despite people watching and with some exercise, so I was pleased.

I started the trip at 112.4, and since I've been back I've binged and ate a little more than 2000 yesterday. The scale this morning said 109.8. How is that possible?

This makes me scared because I usually lift weights and didn't for at least two weeks--the week before and the week of vacation--so I think I probably just lost muscle weight.

Anyone who's usually pretty muscled experienced with dropping weight despite eating higher calories/exercising less? Is this just water weight fluctuations? Help

[Discussion] Psyllium Husk?
/u/vigil_morgenstein [5'4" | CW 122lbs | UGW 96lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 14:35:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apopm/psyllium_husk/
---
Has anyone tried it? Got some today and tried a couple of teaspoons in water - that was 6 hours ago and I still feel ridiculously full, which is a weird and unpleasant sensation but feels good to know it's just husk and not food!

Anyone else tried it? Any tips? Anything I need to watch out for?

[Help] Fuck today.
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 14:13:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apl6o/fuck_today/
---
I started off so well. Then my daughter was being grouchy, my SO is away at work and won't be home for three weeks and I am still fighting this fucking PPD.

I binged. Bad.

I am trying so hard not to purge as I am currently being treated for really bad gum disease which is now causing my jaw bone to receed, due to the last 8 years of mia, and I am on the verge of losing my front teeth.

Really struggling today.

[Tip] 258 calorie pasta
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Wed Mar 16 14:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apjki/258_calorie_pasta/
---
Noodles 220
Broth 10
Tomato 11
Onion 08
Spinach 09
(Calories on the right)

[Help] Chewing and spitting...?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 13:50:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aphjp/chewing_and_spitting/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Instagram accounts?
/u/thinsignificant
Created: Wed Mar 16 13:45:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apgpv/instagram_accounts/
---
Just got an Instagram (I'm a bit behind on that fad, I know) any recommended weightloss/thinspo accounts? Also if anyone has an Instagram I'd love to follow that!

[Discussion] Purging at work?
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 13:18:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apcf7/purging_at_work/
---
I have to eat lunch at work because I work with my husband. Do you guys purge at work? If so, what do you do if somebody walks in half-way through? I have it happen all the time then have to stop and leave and then go back, and it's so annoying and hard on my throat.

Also, how long after you eat do you consider it "not worth it" to purge because you're barely getting any calories? I had a meeting when I got back from lunch so wasn't able to purge until 1 1/2 hours later. I seemed to have gotten it most out though. I'm thinking consider that 50% of the calories eaten?

[Tip] weight loss tips, funny comics, misc??
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 16 12:56:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ap8wy/weight_loss_tips_funny_comics_misc/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Gjf9u

[Rant/Rave] "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you're gaining weight."
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 12:10:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ap1c1/dont_take_this_the_wrong_way_but_i_think_youre/
---
THANKS HUSBAND. IT'S 5 LBS AND MONTHLY CYCLE BLOATING AND I WAS CROSSING MY FINGERS IT WASN'T THAT NOTICEABLE BUT NOW I KNOW IT IS.



"Don't take this the wrong way..." Oh, I didn't know there was a *correct* way to react when someone tells you you're looking FATTER.



On the flip side, this is exactly the kick in the ass I needed.

[Rant/Rave] So tomorrow I'm starting again at day treatment center
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 11:36:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aovri/so_tomorrow_im_starting_again_at_day_treatment/
---
I'm not sure if day treatment center is the right translation... It's kind of like partial hospitalization where you only spend the days, and in the evening you go home.

Well anyway, when I got back home from residential treatment last fall I was there for a few months and it was agreed that I go back there periodically for a two-three weeks at a time.

I really wouldn't like to. And now my doctor wants me to be there for a longer time because I've lost "so much" weight and I'm so depressed. Blergh. I could have said no, because naturally they can't force me to do anything I don't want to do.

But it's not that bad. It's general psychiatry, not specialized in EDs and they don't really watch what I eat or IF I eat. And even if they did, it's like I said, they can't force me, I'm not that underweight. My plan is to eat only lunch there(they serve also breakfast and a snack in the afternoon) and try to eat nothing else for the rest of the day.

But I still wouldn't like to go. First,I feel bad because I'm taking a place from someone who would be actually motivated to get better- I'm there just wasting their time and my own really. Other thing is that the food there is more carb- and calorieheavy than what I cook for myself, and I can't know calorie counts for sure... And there's more discussions than in outpatient, so it means I have to listen like three times a week how I should eat more and purge less. And they will check my weight weekly.

This post really hasn't a point except I'm quite stressed out right now and wanted to talk about it.

[Rant/Rave] I guess I've finally accepted it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 11:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aosfd/i_guess_ive_finally_accepted_it/
---
[removed]

[Tip] Do not eyeball your calories.
/u/thishour [64 in | 115 lbs | | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 11:09:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aorcr/do_not_eyeball_your_calories/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjKPIcI51lU

[Rant/Rave] Just bought a bathroom scale - eeep
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 10:45:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aonk9/just_bought_a_bathroom_scale_eeep/
---
Today, I left my house and went to a store (big deal for me, I'm a total recluse) bought a bathroom scale without my SO's knowledge. I smuggled it into the house and hid under some clothes in my dresser.

I feel guilty that I went behind his back but shit, I haven't weighed myself in 15 days and I'm terrified that I've gained weight. I've been logging my meals, but not calculating totals, so I guess this will tell me if I've gained or lost. I have to wait for the right opportunity cause my SO is retired and the only time I'm alone is when he goes to the grocery store.

I'm worried that the scale I bought is not accurate. What if I bought a piece of crap scale??? I couldn't spend too much money, and I found a few bad reviews. Makes me very nervous. **What is a good way to know if your scale is off?** I have no idea!

I don't know why I'm being so sneaky about all this. For the most part, my excuses are easily accepted. I know I've lost at least 10lbs since Feb and it's killing me that nobody has noticed; yet I don't want anyone to notice cause I have no intentions of stopping till I'm skinny enough.

The last time my ED got out of hand, I was completely oblivious. I subconsciously cut food out of my life bit by bit and I had no freaking idea that what I was doing was abnormal. I used every excuse in the book to convince myself nothing was wrong.

Fast forward four years and recovery and 50+ lbs, I know EXACTLY what I'm doing. I'm jumping in with eyes wide open. I know better but I don't have any fucks to give. I won't stop until I'm skinny enough. I hope I will know when I'm skinny enough.

**Does anyone ever feel skinny enough?**

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 16 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aogj3/daily_food_diary_march_16_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 16, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Weird rib pressure after weight loss?
/u/Etcherss
Created: Wed Mar 16 09:51:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aoeqs/weird_rib_pressure_after_weight_loss/
---
Has anyone experienced this?

I lost a lot of weight and now I've got this weird pressure on the bottom of my rib cage. It's not pain exactly and more like discomfort. I have the urge to squeeze down on them with my arm lightly and that makes it feel a bit better. It's near impossible to get comfortable.

I've seen some people other places say that they've experienced this from dramatic weight loss but I could find fuck all info.

Thanks!

[Goal] So, I fucked up. Here's what I'm going to do about it. [Post-binge list]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 09:23:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aoabb/so_i_fucked_up_heres_what_im_going_to_do_about_it/
---
Hey guys,

It had been a **long** time since I last binged, and when I did, I felt like shit. Thankfully, the binge wasn't **way** too high calorie, but I still felt overstuffed and like crap. It was bound to happen one day, so here's what I'm going to do about it.

* Don't beat yourself up **too** hard. Yeah, you fucked up, but you can rebound from this EASILY.
* Chug some good liquids. I had two cups of green tea, and a glass of sparkling water- I felt better.
* Exercise! I worked off most of the binge at the gym, and exercising can also clear your head.
* My binge was before I slept, so the next morning, I decided that I would eat cleanly and gently restrict again.
* Lastly, (and maybe most importantly), remember how you felt. I wrote down all of the shitty emotions that I felt. Next time you want to binge, look at that list. Thinspo and quotes can only do so much - only you know how you feel. (And maybe some of the people on this sub :P)

Stay Skinny! X

[Rant/Rave] Bad shit happened. Really bad shit.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:53:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anwb7/bad_shit_happened_really_bad_shit/
---
The Humane Society where I live burned down. I volunteered there a lot. I know all the cats by name and personality. I think all the cats survived but the news hasn't said anything about it. The fire started in the puppy room ): and 72 dogs died, 11 survived. Imagine losing one pet you love, now imagine losing 72+ all at once. To distract me from the pain I'm going to put even more focus on losing weight and counting calories.

[Thinspo] Don't quit. Stay focused.
/u/jippityjuniper [5'7" | 148 | 23.10 | -20 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:52:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anw5b/dont_quit_stay_focused/
---
http://imgur.com/TbWmgCE

[Thinspo] Finished the drawing!
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:48:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anvfr/finished_the_drawing/
---
http://shangenspo.tumblr.com/post/141145007589/finished-im-happy-with-this-0-woaaah-that

[Discussion] Restaurants
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:31:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ansop/restaurants/
---
My husband is taking me to a nice restaurant this evening, and I'm full of anxiety. I hate eating out, especially at restaurants that don't include calorie counts. I've been looking at the menu all day, trying to determine what's the lowest calorie item I can order.

What do you do when you know going to a restaurant is imminent? What kind of food do you order?

I always try and push my husband to tapas or sushi places because we can order several small plates and I can get away with eating way less...

[Thinspo] Hands/Nails
/u/skieze [bmi: 20.93]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:12:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anpzr/handsnails/
---
http://i.imgur.com/acBMVmY.jpg

[Help] How do you guys kick really specific cravings?
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 06:50:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anncn/how_do_you_guys_kick_really_specific_cravings/
---
I'm in dire need of 46 pounds of Reese's peanut butter cups and granted I've not yet gone out and bought them it's driving me batty.

All I can think about is how much I want one and how much I don't have one.

I tried to satisfy it with peanut butter...nothing. I tried a cup of hot cocoa...nothing. I even went so far as to have a few chocolate covered peanuts and...nope. Still craving.

And it's been like four days. So when you guys get on really specific kicks how do you get rid of them? I know myself and my habits and at this point I won't be satisfied until I eat enough of them to make myself cry.

Even EC stacking, which usually demolishes any thought of food, has not touched this one.

Blech. I guess my saving grace is that I don't keep any sweets in the house, otherwise I would have likely burnt through all of them by now.

[Tip] Found something awesome I had to share.
/u/SweaterFerret
Created: Wed Mar 16 05:51:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anfaj/found_something_awesome_i_had_to_share/
---
https://imgur.com/kHx9IPr
(Sorry for the ugly chubby fingers)
I never post anything or pictures so hopefully I didn't mess anything up cause I do everything on mobile. Haha.

Anyway I found this at the store yesterday and its Bigelow Brand Tea that is suppose to taste like a girl scout cookie! Honestly thought it'd suck but it tastes awesome!!! Its great to help sweet cravings. I drink it plain but I bet it tastes good with sugar or honey too. I'm planning on buying more lol. There was also a Thin Mint one which I haven't tried.
Here's a Amazon link if you can't find any near you; http://goo.gl/x5Y3VJ

[Intro] After lurking on here for a looong time, here's a post of my newly returned thigh gap! Happy :-)
/u/danimarie95
Created: Wed Mar 16 05:20:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anbfy/after_lurking_on_here_for_a_looong_time_heres_a/
---
http://imgur.com/UYELI8n

[Discussion] Male inspiration?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 05:06:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4an9vt/male_inspiration/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Artistic Thinspo: women, with some men sprinkled in
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 03:57:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4an2iv/artistic_thinspo_women_with_some_men_sprinkled_in/
---
https://imgur.com/a/yIsOZ

[Rant/Rave] Had it with my counseling
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Wed Mar 16 00:48:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4amn0c/had_it_with_my_counseling/
---
I'm done with them. I started seeing them a couple months ago. My AN (restrictive type) basically turned into BED for a bit then I got it sort of back under control, lost a bit, started binging again, blah blah blah. Pretty sure I relapsed last week but then my mom came into town and fed me. And fed me. And then fed me some more.

Today at my appointment, after noting that I had gained 7 pounds in 2 months, I was accused of not even trying. That really set me off, and I just walked out. I'm done. Done, done, done. I'm going back to being me.

[Discussion] Insanity
/u/kly_0301 [5'2" | 132 | 24.14 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 00:41:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4amm9l/insanity/
---
I started insanity workout videos yesterday and my energy level is low (actually,this "low energy" feeling makes me feel good). But I'm wondering if any of you have tried this and if you could share your experience doing insanity or any high intensity workout + restricting.

[Rant/Rave] im a bad person
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Tue Mar 15 23:00:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4amc3u/im_a_bad_person/
---
i know my friend has ED issues too and today i got these cookie ice cream sandwhiches for my friends bday.... my other friend with ed issues missed the bday and then i asked her if she wanted one. she said yes. then asked for more. i brought her the whole box. she ate 5. I hate myself for kinda being happy that i made her gain and i ate nothing. URGH WHY DO I DO THAT. I FEEL REALLY BAD TOO

[Help] Guys, I'm freaking out- it's like I gained ten pounds overnight.
/u/TheDevilsRectum [5'6" | CW 110 | GW 105 |17.83 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 21:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4alxvn/guys_im_freaking_out_its_like_i_gained_ten_pounds/
---
I started exercising about three weeks ago and I have gained ten pounds. I haven't changed my caloric intake at all and I have read the articles about how it's normal for the scale to go up a little when you first start exercising, but something just doesn't seem right. I feel out of control and really upset.... like 5'6" 120 lbs. is not underweight, and being underweight is a big part of what makes me feel good about myself. My waist and thigh measurements have also both gone up an inch. I'm freaking out. I don't want to be a normal sized girl, I want to be super thin. Please tell me this is just inflammation and water weight :/

What kind of work outs do you guys do to stay thin, whispy, waifish, and perfect?

[Rant/Rave] When you're the only one who knows it's a race
/u/fantomlvr [5' 6" | 185.6 | 30.08 | -24.8 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 18:51:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4alfi3/when_youre_the_only_one_who_knows_its_a_race/
---
Everything is a competition. Everything. You can't walk in the front door without competing with your pets to see who can meow the loudest. Type A at its finest, right?

Well, my boyfriend has decided that he's not eating any processed sugars or carbs (sort of like keto, but he's not going to go all out and count macros or anything). And now it's a competition. He has no idea that I'm going to kick his ass.

No sugars? I'm down. I'm way more down than he is. No bread? Fucker, I've been there for weeks, I'm winning by a mile.

But my stupid competitive brain is so angry and all I can think is that he must be doing it to try and prove that he's better than me, even though I can logically tell myself that it isn't true. I don't know.

Anyway, methods of motivation can be so weird.

[Discussion] Left treatment 3 weeks ago and think I'm ready to come back.
/u/casschips
Created: Tue Mar 15 18:38:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aldn1/left_treatment_3_weeks_ago_and_think_im_ready_to/
---
I used to love visiting and participating in this community up until 6 months ago. I started treatment and actually really liked it, but now that I've been out for a few weeks, I crave my ED.

The idea of turning my back on everything I learned in treatment is terrifying. It was such hard work, and I really thought I was ready. But now I feel my ED seducing me back, and when I restrict and exercise I get that amazing high. I'm still seeing an outpatient therapist once a week but we had to cancel last week and now I feel like I don't even want to go back.

Have any of you left treatment to come back? I feel alone and am missing the community feel. But I think I'd rather find it here...

[Rant/Rave] Welp, I guess I'm going on a fast now
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 18:25:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4albmo/welp_i_guess_im_going_on_a_fast_now/
---
I binged so much today and resisted the urge to purge which I guess is a good thing but my ED driven brain can only be disgusted with myself and I still want to purge even though I binged hours ago and know it won't help. Anyways, I need to go on a fast now because this needs to stop and I really need to keep seeing the numbers drop. I can't let myself gain any more weight. I find myself so repulsive and maybe if I reach my goal weight then the guy I have a complicated history with will want me again instead of the my backstabbing bitch of a friend he's asking to prom. GOD I'm just so mad at myself right now I can't believe I let myself get so fucking fat.


Ok, before I get too heated about this I'm going to take a couple of breaths. I feel a little better getting this out of me but I'm just ridiculously upset right now.

[Rant/Rave] "I don't like you so skinny, it seems like you will break if I touch you"
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 17:21:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4al1yi/i_dont_like_you_so_skinny_it_seems_like_you_will/
---
Listen that from the lips of someone gave me satisfaction. I was weak my whole life, but only at this time someone was realizing my fragility. I need more. I need to see the bones of my back, the pointed ribs that hurts when you sleep. Sweet pain.

[Help] Heart problems/chest pain
/u/Zowitz [171cm | 53 kg | 18.1 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 17:18:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4al1gg/heart_problemschest_pain/
---
I had a really good day (250 calories after workout) but the minute I lay down to sleep I get chest pains and a really slow heartbeat, only to get a fast heartbeat when sitting up. I got pretty freaked out and made some oatmeal to try to stop the pain.

Anyways have anyone else experienced this? I'll probably have to up my daily intake to 500 cals for a while to prevent this. Is there any way to stop this?

[Help] EC stack/Bronkaid - need input
/u/BitchingIntensifies [5'8"| Too much | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 16:50:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4akx3e/ec_stackbronkaid_need_input/
---
Question for any of you that may know the answer.

In my state, you can't buy Bronkaid without a prescription. But on Thursday I'll be in a state where you can.

Are they going to deny me when they see my id is from a state where it isn't OTC? Having someone else buy isn't an option.

[Rant/Rave] LOL at my animalistic brain when I engage in a planned binge
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 16:44:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4akw7t/lol_at_my_animalistic_brain_when_i_engage_in_a/
---
I went on a week long trip for a music festival with my boyfriend/all of our friends. I restricted so so so so so well. I ate minimal and healthy to "upkeep energy levels" (lose excess weight by restricting and dancing my ass of all day). However, we went to a famous street one night and went out to dinner to try the local cuisine. I knew it was a binge night, I acknolwedged it, came to terms with it, and decided to enjoy it. I ordered whatever I wanted, which was insanely high in calories, and ate it happily. I noticed at one point, my boyfriend extended his hand to my plate to try one piece of breaded shrimp and a couple of fries. Externally, I smiled and said, "it's so good right!? :D" but internally, I snapped. Like wow, my adrenaline flew through the roof and I felt my face get red hot and my breathing staggered and I even started to shake a little. I was so so so annoyed when I looked at him eating my food and frankly....irate. I thought to myself, holy shit, rarely do I get this intensely angry. Rarely is anger even an emotion I get. I guess this taught me that when I PLAN a binge, I get CRAZY selfish over my allotted food. Its like, it's mine and I get every single parcel because I never get to have it.

But of course no rational person thinks this way, so I kept smiling until the anger faded and then I just laughed at ED logic and went about the rest of my night happily.

TLDR; I become like a savaged, starved, selfish, instinctual animal when I have my planned binge in front of me.

[Discussion] Break ups and EDs.
/u/paradisedeparted [5'3" | 110 | 20.02 | -18 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 16:29:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aku10/break_ups_and_eds/
---
So, I recently got dumped by my boyfriend (I think he cheated on me) and I'm super depressed so I haven't been eating. I'm afraid if I eat anything it will make me binge very badly or something. If any of you experienced a break up before, how did you make sure you didn't lose any progress, etc.? I want to get skinny and make him regret throwing me away. Basically, I really want to hear about your experiences with breakups and how they impact your ed.

[Rant/Rave] Why the fuck would she ask that?
/u/sheelalala
Created: Tue Mar 15 14:57:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4akf9s/why_the_fuck_would_she_ask_that/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Dear scale,
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 12:40:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajseu/dear_scale/
---
No, I am not losing over a pound a day. No, I did not lose two pounds since yesterday. I'm very flattered that you think so, but you need to stop buttering me up and do your job. This has been going on for over a week, and I'm getting sick of it. Do you have any idea what my TDEE would have to be to lose 9 pounds in 8 days?! That's right, scale, I would have to run a marathon on an empty stomach every day. So you can clearly see that you're being ridiculous, and you need to calm down. If this is your way of acting out because you want a new battery, you'll just have to suck it up and wait until I can afford it.

[Rant/Rave] Why the fuck would she ask that?
/u/sheelalala
Created: Tue Mar 15 12:23:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajpl7/why_the_fuck_would_she_ask_that/
---
Oh god, today this really annoying girl from my class asked really loudly if i ever eat. (i dont eat at school because i'm gonna binge as soon as i get home anyway and I tend to have things under control at school)

But I just started stumbling the usual stuff I tell my mum like "I eat at school" and other nonsense and now a lot of people heard this and oh my *fucking* god she won't stop bothering me about this...

I'm not even skinny, like more on the chubby side of things but now some people got suspicious and I'm kinda freaking out right now, so sorry if this makes no sense.


[Discussion] A weird realisation about my relationship with coffee (A bit TMI)
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 118.0 | 20.65 | 107 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 12:22:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajpdq/a_weird_realisation_about_my_relationship_with/
---
If numbers are to be believed from studies run on things like this, I am one of the 30% of people (that number seems so small compared to all the stories I've heard from others, but /shrug) who experience a "strong laxative effect" from coffee.

In high school and college, especially where I spent my teen years (Oregon), coffee shops were the norm for socialisation, and don't get me wrong, I love the taste of it but I was never one of those people that had to have it to start my day.

So I'm sitting here swirling my cup of coffee and I realised that somewhere along the line, drinking a pot of coffee has become a means of purging for me. Any time I have a day prior that I eat too much, binge or not, the next day always has two things: A pot of coffee and a full 24 to 48 hour fast, except for said coffee and water. It's not even a situation where I wake up and think "Actually, a cup of coffee would be perfection." It's more like "Ugh... I need this out of me now, better brew some coffee."

Anyone else come to find themselves doing things not normally thought of as "fixes" for the lone reason of "fixing"? My follow up thought was "Well, Twosi, there's WORSE ways you could be doing this... sigh."

[Discussion] Question.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Tue Mar 15 11:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajkw9/question/
---
Why are my arms sore if I've only been running and biking? I haven't even been lifting weights or anything. Is it my muscle breaking down?

[Rant/Rave] Back To Tt [rant]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 11:25:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajg01/back_to_tt_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I was feeling shitty about my weight loss and then I did the math.
/u/thininsp
Created: Tue Mar 15 11:20:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajf9r/i_was_feeling_shitty_about_my_weight_loss_and/
---
This morning I weighed in at 129.2. I was happy with that because it is less than yesterday, but still frustrated that I am not at my goal of 104 yet. Then I stopped and counted days. It's been 76 days since I talked to my husband about needing him to back down and let me lose weight. I have lost 27lbs in that time period. That's 11 weeks. That's over 2lbs per week on average. At 5'2 with a TDEE of 1450, that's pretty good (basically if I ate nothing every day for 7 days I would lose 2.9lbs). I'm still not happy, but at least I have something to try and focus on rather than focusing on not hitting my goal.

[Help] Save me from the skinnyfat! :(
/u/Wh1ppetB0nes
Created: Tue Mar 15 10:56:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajbbz/save_me_from_the_skinnyfat/
---
You guys, I am so, so skinnyfat. I'm like Michael Cera with tits, holy shit :( I think it might have to do with a lack of protein in my diet - I eat a lot of oatmeal and veg, I guess, since I'm a pescatarian, and fish is quite pricy. I'be had a bad stretch of binges and I have at least 10lbs to lose, but I'm scared I'll drop more muscle before I drop the fat.

I was just wondering, has anyone here managed to go from skinnyfat, to just plain skinny (or toned? I'd be okay with that too). How did you do it? I'm so self-conscious, I'm not sure I have it in my to lift weights at a gym or anything...

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 15 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aj2m2/daily_food_diary_march_15_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 15, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Just having a better day
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 09:37:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aiyh9/just_having_a_better_day/
---
Thanks for all your support yesterday, guys, today is going way better on the hangry front.

I found powdered french onion soup in my pantry (20 calories per serving!) and I'm drinking that today. Started the day with a 3-mile walk and a huge cup of coffee too, which felt great.

Plus, today is the 15th, which means I took my progress pictures. I only lost 4 lbs since the last ones, but I actually think I see change. Maybe it's just muscle growth slowing my weight loss? I don't know. But I am encouraged all the same!

[Progress pics](http://i.imgur.com/bFr2W4K.png) I'm 141 on the left and 137 on the right with a month between pictures, but I can see a definite firming up of things so that's exciting.

Thanks for being you, guys. I love you all, Marta.

[Discussion] Stupid reddit ads :)
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 09:34:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aixwa/stupid_reddit_ads/
---
http://imgur.com/Ie2IKwI

[Help] Starting EC stack with a headcold?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 09:22:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aiw17/starting_ec_stack_with_a_headcold/
---
Hello all. I finally got my order of Bronkaid and some caffeine and was wondering if I should start today or some other time. I have a nasty headcold (but still have to come to work, since it's my last week and we're short-handed) and just want to die from that, but I still want to suppress my appetite and get some energy. Your thoughts?

[Rant/Rave] Smoking weed makes me binge but I can't stop smoking.
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9" | CW 151 lbs | UGW 125 LBS | -14 lbs | female]
Created: Tue Mar 15 07:17:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aidx9/smoking_weed_makes_me_binge_but_i_cant_stop/
---
I'm starting an ssri (Zoloft) in addition to the Wellbutrin and Vyvanse I'm already prescribed. Hopefully that means I won't have to smoke weed 24/7 to feel like the world is bearable.

I've been able to purge when I really feel like I've done too much but I'm still frustrated. I just want to be able to quit smoking completely and finally start my fast FOR REAL.


I've done it plenty of times before and suddenly I feel like I have no idea how to control myself, all because of this dumb FucCKING drug.



Sorry, needed to vent to literally anyone who is pro-ED.

[Rant/Rave] Life is just a trip
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 06:43:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ai9iv/life_is_just_a_trip/
---
So I didn't eat anything for 3.5 days! I have been drinking water, carbonated flavoured water, coffee, a little bouillon and chewing sugarfree gum. It was surprisingly easy!

Today I wasn't hungry but I got kind of scared because I fainted 3 times.. So I dragged myself to the shop. I've broken the fast with a protein bar, and I've got some mushrooms for later. Weird, I know! But I've come up with a meal plan starting tomorrow that I'm going to try. It's going to be like 795 calories, which right now I feel is a lot but I'm going to at least try it. That way I can look more 'normal' to my housemates by actually preparing something. Smaller deficit, but it will have more nutrients than I've been getting lately and will be better/more sustainable in the long run..

I actually quite enjoyed the fast, though! It made me feel pretty good, I think I would have carried on if I didn't have so much uni work to do. Today walking to the shop was quite nice, everything was all dreamy and a bit trippy. *Inside* the shop was a whole different matter, though!! So stressful. Sometimes I do dislike being like this.. Such a bittersweet relationship! *sigh*

Anyway! I think I got ok results from the fast, definitely less disgusting fat I can pinch on me, thigh gap has grown.. I really don't understand what I'm seeing when I look in the mirror though, I seem to change into a completely different person in minutes! And I still desperately need to either find a place to get weighed or buy some scales for myself!

Wah, rambly rant/rave! Has anyone else got experience of fasting? (For me this was kind of an accident, I just didn't get hungry, very interesting though.) And does anyone have any meal plans they like to stick to? I need to find ways of getting more protein, less sugar!

[Rant/Rave] Well I am going on a fast.
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 05:34:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ai1gt/well_i_am_going_on_a_fast/
---
Yep so I have been gaining while under my limit for the past 3 days. I have gone up like 4 lbs. what the fuck is up with that?

I'm just gonna go on a fast to correct it for at least 24 hours.

[Help] Yet another question about how to slim the thighs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 04:46:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahwop/yet_another_question_about_how_to_slim_the_thighs/
---
[deleted]

[Help] feeling sick?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 04:01:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahspc/feeling_sick/
---
[deleted]

[Help] This is gonna be one big TMI post
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Mar 15 03:46:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahri4/this_is_gonna_be_one_big_tmi_post/
---
So, you've been warned.

I took 7 laxatives yesterday (I binged and wanted to both hurt myself and get it out) and after a really shitty (haha) night they are still working. Have an 8 hour shift and ehm, what can I do? Can't call in sick.. Should I just not drink/eat anything till I come home from work or..?

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Tattoo thinspo!
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 03:46:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahrfr/thinspo_tattoo_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/OBZbU

[Goal] I need to get myself out of this cycle...
/u/30secondsto130 [5'8" | 161 | 24.2 | -15 | M]
Created: Tue Mar 15 01:32:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahglh/i_need_to_get_myself_out_of_this_cycle/
---
Hi /r/ProEd.

I am posting this here, because like many of you, I need a sense of accountability to stop myself from failing. Perhaps, by posting here, where other people can see it, I will feel more compelled to reach my goals. I have tried, many, many times before, but perhaps this approach will be the driving force that gets me out of this B/P hell, and hopefully, leads me to never binge again.

To start, I want to identify why I B/P. It is tied to greed, boredom, a sense of comfort, of ‘letting go and not caring’. One thing I have been doing more and more lately is to switch on some TV, get a plate of shit, and shovel it into my face, like a mindless zombie. It is a bad, bad habit and it needs to change. I feel so incredibly disgusting and I want to kill myself. I need to focus on art, going for a walk, talking to friends, that kind of thing.

The hard part is usually how miserable I get while restricting. It becomes a source of excuses to why I should eat. ‘I can’t study, I need more food’. Or ‘I’m irritable, some food would make me more amicable’. This type of thinking needs to stop, because over all else the thing I want to be the most is skinny. Then I will be truly happy, so for now, I will suffer and endure. In the end, it will be worth it, even if I am in a bad mood for a few days.

The trouble is, I fucked up guys. Real real real bad. I have gained over 55lbs more than my lowest weight. I am a fatty, and when I look in the mirror I just want it all to end. The most horrible part about it all, though, is waking up, and feeling trapped inside of my own body, knowing that for the near future, I will be fat, and no matter how much I exerisize or fast that day it will not change. I think my problem before is thinking restriction is a sprint rather than a marathon, and that consistency is the key to all else.

So, I will tolerate this body that I have, and not run to food because it makes me miserable, rather, use it as motivation to not eat. If binging got me here, why do it again?

**Here are some of my goals/Rules**

* Get into the 150’s by 15th of April. It is still so, so not where I want to be, but it will be a start. I need something to shoot for. That leaves me roughly a month. 4 weeks. I can do it, but restriction will need to be good, and absolutely no binges. I will not plan for longer than this now, because so many things could derail me by then it is better to have a short term weight goal.

* At least two fasted day per week. (Non-consecutive).

* Track everything through MFP. Post in the daily food diaries and write about how I felt that day.

* If I am forced to eat and I go above my caloric limit, exercise the calories off. I am allowed 500 calories per day, but importantly, this is NET. If I run 10 miles, I can eat 1300, etc. Going under is allowed if feeling like it, but going over is DEFINITELY not.

* Only eat safe foods. Binge foods will be listed below, and will never be indulged upon again.

* No hard exercise on fast days.

* Read this post once in the morning, once at night, and reflect on it for 5 minutes.

* Weight yourself once each morning, and track.

**Things that could prevent me from reaching my goals:**

**Social Eating**

This is a huge one. Family dinners, parties, and drinks down the pub are all situations where it is very easy to say fuck it, and ruin the day. For this, I would say, plan, plan, and plan in advance. While I am there, the general rule is to eat as little as I am allowed without raising suspicion. I will inevitably end up eating, but this is not an issue, if I plan to exercise before or after the meal to burn off the excess. Don't feel obligated to not say no to something if it is rude! If you didn't you would get no-where.

**Plain ol’ lack of willpower**

Before I eat something I shouldn’t, I need to :

1. Look at thinspo
1. Make a black Coffee
1. Go for a walk
1. Draw something
1. Do some homework
1. Do some bodyweight stuff
1. Read a chapter of a book
1. Look at yourself in the mirror, take a picture
1. Try chewing and spitting something
1. If you STILL want to eat it, eat it, but you will have to pay for it by running/cycling later that day.

**Eating meals where I cannot track calories**
Here, it can be very easy to overeat. The general rule for these meals should be, eat half portions, fill up on veggies, and push food around the plate to make it seem as if you are eating more. Exersize later, in order to ‘catch’ any excess calories. This is particularly a problem as most days I must eat in a canteen, where there is no way for me to measure ingredients, weight, etc, etc.

**Binge Foods/Drinks**

Pizza

Ice Cream

Sweets/Deserts in General

Carb-y foods (Scones, bread, pastries, HUGE binge foods).

Chips

Fried anything

Non diet drinks

Alcohol

Chocolate Spread, Peanut butter, honey

Bananas :(

//

I know I can do this. Thank you guys for being so amazing x

PEACE





[Help] How to deal with being sad (without overeating)?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:50:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahcyh/how_to_deal_with_being_sad_without_overeating/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Fml I purged for the first time yesterday night
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:48:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahcqb/fml_i_purged_for_the_first_time_yesterday_night/
---
Had already tried to so often, but now I succeeded, not a lot came out, but it's the first time anything did, so well fuck. Idk what to do next. Tmi, but is it weird that it was just sweet and slimey? I fear I might have this disease thingy where food can stay in the esophagus. :s

(Also on mobile again so I can't choose a flair)

[Rant/Rave] This weekend I broke down and opened up
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:44:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahcfd/this_weekend_i_broke_down_and_opened_up/
---
This weekend I went on a trip up to Montreal with my boyfriend and his bandmates to help as merch girl or worked the door while they played a few shows. I had been restricting and working out so I felt confident wearing the tight dresses I had brought along rather than the ones that would flare out and hide my tummy.

Saturday we went out for brunch as a group. I didn't want to show red flags by ordering just coffee, so I got an egg white veggie omelette too. I was planning on hiking Mont Royal that afternoon anyhow so no biggie. Then the owner brought us all free chocolate strudels since some of the boys in the band befriended him during their last trip up. AHHHH! I had to eat it, or else it would be rude. Bitch had to top it off with whipped cream and chocolate sauce too.

Ok. So I guess I'm running up a mountain for most of the afternoon now. But no most of the guys want to come along for this hike. Now it's a group thing. Now I have to go their pace. Now I have to hike 1/8th of what I intended at 1/2 the speed.

We get back and the bandmates left for dinner leaving my bf and I by ourselves. I planned on getting something tiny from the vegan cafe down the way so I could have something in front of him. He wants us to get Thai. I keep looking at all the rice, noodles, and can't think of anything light enough and I'm internally bugging because now I'm going to look like a beached whale at his show tonight.

He sensed my bad energy and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I broke down and told him the truth. All of it. Where this stems from, all the extreme things I put myself through, the daily struggle, why no accomplishment is as great as a day without eating because if I can't control something as simple as my eating habits then I've failed regardless, that I want to feel empty, tiny, and light as a feather in his arms, that I get scared because I know that this will haunt me for my whole life and I'll never be good enough because I'll always see the me that I used to be in the mirror...

I was shaking and crying and felt guilty that I ruined his whole trip. But he held me. He told me he thought that I was beautiful, but knows that I'll never believe him so he just needs to tell me more. He said he'll have to throw me around more often (he does jiu jitsu and I help him run moves) so I'll learn to understand how tiny I really am. That anytime I feel like binging to call him and he'll distract me until the craving passes. Most of all he told me how much he wholeheartedly loves me. We're a team. I am him and he is me. He knows me and no matter what I tell him it will never make him want to leave. He was supportive without lecturing me.

Being so upset I ended up skipping eating that night which he understood and he couldn't stop touching me affectionately and telling me how beautiful I looked in my dress. The next day when we were alone he asked if his eating healthier around me would help at all as a sign of solidarity. It was really sweet. I'm honestly not sure what he could do to help that he isn't doing already. I am so lucky to have someone like this in m life and I feel a little less broken.

I also found out I'm getting life changing news regarding school on wednesday from a vague school email and I freaked and binged hard. Now I'm planning a two day fast because I can't control what happens at this meeting, but at least I can control what I put inside of me until then. Bad habits die hard and I should've called him, but I didn't want to be a bother. I hope I can learn to accept his help rather than waste it.

[Rant/Rave] Gained :(
/u/pineapplesandham [5'3 | 96.5 lbs | 17.6 | -10 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:19:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aha5i/gained/
---
Idk what it is, but the scale is up 1.5 pounds from 96 to 97.5 and I'm pissed. Maybe it's fat, maybe it's water weight. I think I'll do 800 calories tomorrow again. I know that sounds like a lot but any less and I'll definitely binge.

[Rant/Rave] Rant/Rave Feeling really triggered right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:06:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ah8u1/rantrave_feeling_really_triggered_right_now/
---
[deleted]

Thоusаnds of мen and wомeп lоoking fоr one's sоuІ мate here
/u/barlasslamp92895
Created: Mon Mar 14 22:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4agusc/thоusаnds_of_мen_and_wомeп_lоoking_fоr_ones_sоuі/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlfXea-P2Hg

[Rant/Rave] Fuck.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Mon Mar 14 20:17:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aggov/fuck/
---
I binged. I fucking binged. I'm taking a caffeine pill tonight and I'm going to burn as many calories as I can.

Fuck.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Mon Mar 14 20:17:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aggnw/fuck/
---
[removed]

[Help] Am I being realistic?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 20:12:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4agfzz/am_i_being_realistic/
---
DarcyNycole is 69 inches and less than 100 lbs. at 5 foot 9 I don't see how that can look like... well like she does.

My question is my original plan was to be underweight somewhere in the 115-120 range. Is it possible for there to be another 20 pounds less than me and still look as she or others do?

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] angry, exhausted.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Mar 14 19:56:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4agdkc/rant_angry_exhausted/
---
I am binge-fest queen. I was eating under 800 cals for two weeks and lost ten pounds, then the scanner didn't budge for 5 days despite me restricting further and drinking water and all the jazz. So i binged. Then the day after i did too. This time the food wasntveven good i just stuffed myself?? I'm so mad. I have to go to a hockey game tomorrow and I really don't want to. I'm destined to be a little Piggie my entire life I guess.

[Rant/Rave] Nothing like an underwear clad model to make to want to restrict.
/u/sewnp [168cm | GW:90lbs | NB]
Created: Mon Mar 14 19:42:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4agbbc/nothing_like_an_underwear_clad_model_to_make_to/
---
It's been weird forever. I've lost weight, my wrists and knees are getting tiny. I figured that setting smaller short term goals on the road to my long term goal are the best for me to be encouraged. Food has always been an emotional support too because I never had anything else that comforted me. Now, I see these underwear clad models on television and I find myself struck with the harsh reality that I'm not there yet.

EDIT: i messed up my title wow

[Discussion] How do you guys feel about raspberry key tones?
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Mon Mar 14 19:13:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ag6st/how_do_you_guys_feel_about_raspberry_key_tones/
---
Just picked up a couple bottles, I'm curious about the effects and any advice and your guy's experience

[Goal] NO MORE PURGING
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 18:33:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ag0l4/no_more_purging/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Give me all your appetite suppressing tips
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 17:24:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afq8u/give_me_all_your_appetite_suppressing_tips/
---
Guys, I am so hungry. So hungry all the time. All I can think about is food. My stomach positively throbs with hunger 90% of the time. I chew gum, drink tea, drink ice water, exercise, distract myself, eat small meals slowly throughout the day, stand in front of the mirror naked and shame myself silly and still: hungry.

My restriction was 700 calories, then I increased it to 800, then to 1000 a day, just to try to help myself get through the day. I'm dizzy, exhausted, grumpy, positively HANGRY even on 1000 calories. Which is pigging out by my standards.

And here I am the woman whose previous daily diets consisted of things like half a Slim Jim, or a quarter cup of bran cereal and a banana. What happened? Why won't my body let me be skinny and beautiful?

[Goal] Hit my first goal weight
/u/lilaclia [5'4" | 113.2 | 19.4 | -9.8 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 17:12:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afofv/hit_my_first_goal_weight/
---
I started (relapsed) at 123 lbs and made it to 115! Just wanted to share my happiness with someone :)

[Rant/Rave] I always feel so scummy for doing this
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:37:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afiyl/i_always_feel_so_scummy_for_doing_this/
---
Does anybody else like to eat a lot in front of their larger friends? I love hearing them talk about how jealous they are that I "can eat whatever I want and still be skinny."
For a second it makes me feel like it's effortless, but then I remember whenever I do that I fast for days after.

I kind of feel scummy and like a bad friend when I do this but I can't stop, it's just nice to know that I can still eat a cheeseburger every once in a while and my friends think I'm just effortlessly skinny, they have no idea.

Soup
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:21:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afgd6/soup/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] How do you know when you have an eating disorder?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:09:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afefs/how_do_you_know_when_you_have_an_eating_disorder/
---
I cringed writing that title because it's such a dumb question. I've read the DSM. I know the criteria. I know what I would tell someone if they asked this question. So I don't know why I'm so confused. My therapist keeps fucking with my head and making me doubt myself.


This might sound weird coming from someone who spends a lot of time in the proED subreddit, but although there have been times in my life where I've considered myself to have an eating disorder, right now isn't one of them. I'm here because there's nowhere else in the world that I can talk about this stuff, but I don't feel like I'm out of control or like my life revolves around it. It would be insanely easy for me to go into the kitchen right now and make a bunch of toast and eat all of it without ever thinking about the calories ~~or worrying about weight gain or even feeling guilty~~ (ok, maybe I'd feel guilty, but so would lots of people). I'm not happy with my body but I don't hate it either. I don't fast. I don't binge. I don't purge. I've only been dieting for 4 months! I eat 800 calories a day of nutrient-rich food... sometimes lower, but also sometimes higher. My average last week was closer to 900. It just feels completely factually incorrect to say that I have an ED.

My therapist keeps trying to tell me that I'm anorexic, but the DSM-V criteria for anorexia is so vague that anyone who's underweight and doesn't want to gain weight could qualify, and my therapist is, frankly, oversensitive. I mean, I know that not everything I'm doing is healthy, but I can't even acknowledge that to her because she keeps making it into this big thing that it's not. I just feel extremely frustrated because there's nothing I can say to her about it because denying it makes it sound even more like I have one. What's the term for that phenomenon where denying something makes you sound guilty? That.

Sorry for ranting, I just spent an hour arguing with my therapist about this. I really don't know why she's on my ass, it's not like I even talk to her about weight loss. Anyways, how did you know when you'd crossed the line from "normal" to "disordered"?

Edit: Thanks for the responses. I'll give it some thought.

[Rant/Rave] Here is the follow up for the sweater <3 Seriously, so in love c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afdej/here_is_the_follow_up_for_the_sweater_3_seriously/
---
http://imgur.com/a/R1eX0

[Tip] [TIP] I posted this on /r/1200isplenty but I think you guys would like this too. Caramel Apple Pops are not your average 60kcal sucker/sugar treat and heres why
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:01:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afd1f/tip_i_posted_this_on_r1200isplenty_but_i_think/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Super hangry juice fast
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Mon Mar 14 15:07:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4af44e/super_hangry_juice_fast/
---
I am so hangry today.

I don't even feel hungry, but I'm irritated and frustrated and have this lack focus and motivation. I know it is because i haven't eaten. I am trying to juice fast for a few days and I am holding off as long as I can take it but I feel like I'm going to break for emotional reasons.

Any tips?

[Rant/Rave] My grandpa is in town, and we went shopping, and he got me this super cute sweater from Talbots, it's a size PS, and I'm super excited because it's loose! And comfy <3 I'll post an OOTD when I get back from school c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 14:09:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aeudi/my_grandpa_is_in_town_and_we_went_shopping_and_he/
---
http://imgur.com/a/KpWRx

[Rant/Rave] God I really want to shoot myself
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 14 13:58:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aesi9/god_i_really_want_to_shoot_myself/
---
I probably ate like a pound of sweets on top of my 400 kcal I had planned. I fucking hate myself. Oh my god, kill me. Please.

[Discussion] Watching food videos to stave off cravings?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 12:51:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aeh0e/watching_food_videos_to_stave_off_cravings/
---
So sometimes when I have some super cravings, I pull up a playlist of recipe videos from myvirginkitchen. It's a British cooking channel but they also do giant foods/desserts which I find great, because usually there's such a massive amount of butter/chocolate that it starts to disgust me. Either way, they are my guilty pleasure substitute for binging.

I also found a new channel called foodsurgeon, which is tbh really weird. They do "food surgeries", which has a very clinical way of taking apart and putting together different foods...honestly it almost makes me squeamish, and also squashes my appetite.

Does anyone else have any YouTube channels you like for indulging in food videos/watching recipes? I'd love some more channels to follow for when I need it, Whether they make food look delicious or disgusting.

[Rant/Rave] I give up.
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 12:28:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aed3p/i_give_up/
---
Hi all -- this is toritxtornado. I deleted my intro on my other profile and decided to use my throwaway instead for this sub. I don't think anyone checks my post history, but there are a couple people who know my name (including my husband), so I figured I'd rather be safe.

I give up. I tried to take a picture and post it, but I am so damn ashamed. I feel like such a fraud. I used to be a good little anorexic. Now I am healthy. It should not be acceptable that I'm at weight that's called beautiful. I should be at weight that's called terrifying, sick, unhealthy, skeletal.

I only have one month of my eating disorder left until I do IVF and get pregnant. I was going to try to do well for the next month, but now I see it as a month left where I can act on behaviors. If I'm skinnier when I get pregnant, that's less I'll have to lose after the baby.

So far I've purged lunch. I don't eat breakfast. I'll restrict at dinner, but I have no idea what we're gonna have, so I don't know what I'll eat. I also need to buy a scale.

[Discussion] EC stack vs adderall?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 12:08:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ae9pb/ec_stack_vs_adderall/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] The best zero calorie drink ever! It is also packed with vitamins!
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Mon Mar 14 11:41:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ae4ys/the_best_zero_calorie_drink_ever_it_is_also/
---
http://imgur.com/tTigCxV

[Goal] I'm taking the peanut butter out of the trashcan
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Mar 14 10:52:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adwip/im_taking_the_peanut_butter_out_of_the_trashcan/
---
If I ever want food to lose it's power over me, I have to prove that I'm not afraid of it. I binged on PB I bought for a salad dressing recipe yesterday and tossed the rest so I wouldn't be tempted again today.

But as long as I treat it as if it's stronger than me, it will continue to be. So my goal this week is to cross peanut butter off my "fear food" list by proving to myself that I AM in control, NOT the food.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 14 10:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adocg/daily_food_diary_march_14_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 14, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Ugh more rambles
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 10:01:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ado97/ugh_more_rambles/
---
[deleted]

[Help] SHIT
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 09:53:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adn15/shit/
---
I'm writing this from a parking lot in front of a Starbucks.

I went to the doctor for ear/jaw pain, I didn't waterload since I didn't think they'd weigh me. With my clothes and heavy boots, I weighed 94.6lbs on their scale, I weighed 97.4lbs a few months ago on their record. I'm like 99% sure that doctors office wasn't ever told about my AN diagnosis, but the doctor I saw today (not my normal one) didn't believe my story of the jaw pain causing the weight loss. She pretty much just brushed off the thing I made the damn appointment for and only wanted to talk about my weight (2 pounds is NOTHING, even when you're underweight. I'm not even underweight by the kid's BMI chart!!). She told me to get blood work done including 'comprehensive metabolic panel' and TSH. I'm not sure what the others are for, but to be safe I drove over to Starbucks and got a pastry and a latte to artificially Jack up my sugar and triglycerides. I'm so scared, the freedom I have right now is the reason I'm happier and able to eat more. If I have someone watching me all the time and making sure I eat I'm gonna go right back to the angry, depressed hole I literally just got out of. Im not wholly against recovery, but I don't agree with psychiatry and the usual way they go about treatment. I'm just so scared now. I shouldve just fucking waterloaded

[Goal] Weird compliments and comments
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 09:53:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4admya/weird_compliments_and_comments/
---
I don't want to sound rude and brag but I need to tell someone about my small accomplishments since I have no one in real life to share them with who will understand. Typically I hate body comments at all but I've been trying to cheer myself up and look at them in a positive light. The other day my mom told me I didn't need to lose more weight and said I was lucky I wore such a small size (we were clothes shopping) because small sizes that don't get purchased go on sale. This made me happy until I had to buy a medium in a fitted dress. Ugh. I love dresses, but my wide hips makes them awkward fitting and hard for me to wear. I guess I can always cut the label out lol. Also she complimented my food choices and how healthy they were. I tend to eat only veggies now in order to stay within my calorie limit (800) so my food is always colorful and pretty which makes me happy. Also my brother told me I looked skinny and then said he loved how tiny I was which made my life because he's 30 Ib underweight and huge on fat hating so it means a lot coming from him. Also my boyfriend said he loved my boney chest (I had mentioned it prior) and tiny legs and how sharp my hipbones are. I'm so lucky to have someone who appreciates tiny features since the trend these days are big butts and boobs. Hopefully when I lose these last 9 Ib (goal is 95 Ib), I will get more compliments.

[Help] Bought laxatives, what can I expect?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 08:41:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adc8d/bought_laxatives_what_can_i_expect/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Finally broke my plateau
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Mon Mar 14 08:30:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adas2/finally_broke_my_plateau/
---
I hardly lost ANYTHING this month. I hoovered around 97.6-99 and barely budged. Well, today I am 97 lbs, even. Finally. I won't make my goal of 93 lbs by March 17th (original February goal), but it's silly that that small amount is good enough for now.


Okay, now onward to 93 lbs. I didn't binge/purge yesterday for the first time in weeks, which helped me move to this new number. I can't ruin it. I'm only 4 lbs away from this goal. It can be easy if I exercise some self-control.

[Discussion] My reasons to quit binging.
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 08:03:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ad756/my_reasons_to_quit_binging/
---
Hey guys, this is a list that I keep on my phone, and I thought you would enjoy it :)

* I'll lose weight
* I'll be beautiful
* My crush might like me back 0-0
* I can look weightless
* I can be delicate
* Boys can carry me easily
* I can wear stuff that I couldn't before
* I feel awful after a binge
* It's a waste of food
* The worst feeling is entering a binge into MFP
* I don't want to stay fat
* I don't want to fail everyone on this sub.


Can you comment your reasons below, so I can add stuff to my list?

[Help] I need to get my shit together again
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 07:19:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ad1py/i_need_to_get_my_shit_together_again/
---
I keep binging and buying food. This needs to stop and I know I can. But depression is getting the best of me right now and that I can't stop. I'm going out for a long walk later today, but I already ate so much and I feel so tired. I just want to get back into bed. Why is it so hard to get my shit back together again. I really need to make lists and such to stop this. And buy some gum, damn.

Anyone got some tips or advice (or harsh words) to get my shit together again? And if someone knows some magical way to make money without a job, please let me know. I'm fucking broke right now and I can't get a job.

[Discussion] Sucking on things to help with cravings?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 06:28:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4acvup/sucking_on_things_to_help_with_cravings/
---
Since chewing gum has been hurting my jaw, I've been sucking on Ricola to curb my cravings.

Do you guys have any other suggestions? Lollipops or jolly ranchers would work if I don't suck on them often.

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! March 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 14 06:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4act9o/weekly_stats_update_march_14_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 14, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] I'm freaking out.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 05:40:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4acr7a/im_freaking_out/
---
[deleted]

[Help] the never ending pit that is my stomach
/u/lymfp [5'3" | 109.6 | 19.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 03:58:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4achnc/the_never_ending_pit_that_is_my_stomach/
---
To make a long story short:

I have been binging *soo* much lately, and it seems that with each binge i consume more than the last binge, resulting in crippling nausea and stomach pain.

i've also noticed within the past few months i've lost the normal full or satiated feeling that i used to get after a decently sized meal before i had an ed.

i am either empty, or stuffed to the point of pain.
i'm not saying that i want recovery, but it would be nice to not binge sometimes solely because i can't tell when i don't need any more food in my stomach.

ahhhhh i don't know if anyone will be able to relate or anything but i really, really don't want to bring up my ed with my new therapist :(





[Discussion] Thoughts on sodium?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | 95.7 | 17.43 | -22 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 03:56:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4achhh/thoughts_on_sodium/
---
I've always taken the opinion that I'll drink as much damn broth as I like if it will stop me from binging, puffy face and 2 kg the next day be damned (3 stock cubes today as proof), but I've noticed that not everyone holds the same opinion. What are your personal quirks about salt?

[Rant/Rave] Woke up feeling so skinny
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 14 03:46:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4acgo6/woke_up_feeling_so_skinny/
---
My bones felt like they were sticking out, stepped on the scale and.. 0.7 kg heavier than yesterday. Well fuck, time for a 400 kcal day.

[Discussion] Calories you don't count?
/u/amidala12
Created: Mon Mar 14 02:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aca7j/calories_you_dont_count/
---
When I first started counting, yes I counted everything down to chewing gum. I slowly began trusting my habits and my new knowledge of portions and calories and what was worth eating until I completely stopped keeping track on paper (mfp). This seemed to be ok because I have maintained for almost a year now without any long term gain when I occassionally weigh myself. The past couple of weeks I've obviously been stressed and started counting again detwemwnied to lose 5 lbs but I realized today that since I've been counting again, I don't count my almond milk. It's low cal (30 cal a cup) and i only take sips, never poor a glass but I go through at least a 1/2 to a full gallon a week. Does anyone else have a cheat like this? My weigh in results were never anything too unexpected (slight gain when i failed) slight loss when i win) but could this be detrimental to my goals? Does anyone else have a cheat and is still successful?

[Help] Help! I already pay a lot for food
/u/03l0
Created: Mon Mar 14 00:52:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ac2ds/help_i_already_pay_a_lot_for_food/
---
[removed]

[Help] Brushing teeth after purging?
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 00:13:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abyu3/brushing_teeth_after_purging/
---
So I know not to brush your teeth immediately after purging. I also read to drink a tiny bit of baking soda mixed with water before you purge and then rinse your mouth wth the mixture afterwards as well.

But how long should I wait before brushing my teeth? Sometimes after throwing up they feel so gross to me and I just want to make my mouth clean.

[Tip] [Tip] Vitamins (fasting, but applies across the board)
/u/BitchingIntensifies [5'8"| Too much | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 23:39:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abvfk/tip_vitamins_fasting_but_applies_across_the_board/
---
For those who need/choose to take vitamins, this may be helpful for you.

It's well known that iron can be hard to keep down. For me, even slow release creates some impressive projectile vomit in 5 mins -.-.

Even without iron, though, I was having major nausea with my vitamins, especially while fasting. Did some research, and it's either the zinc (more likely) or the vitamin B. Both can cause nausea, particularly on an empty stomach.

So if you're fasting for short periods, and you don't absolutely need it, I'd skip iron, zinc, and vitamin B until you can cushion your stomach.

For me, this means I skip my multivitamin and 1 other on fasting days.

[Rant/Rave] Thank you Monster...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 22:59:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abria/thank_you_monster/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Journey + Progress rambling
/u/thinspo2016 [5'5 | 95 | 15.8 | 35 | Male]
Created: Sun Mar 13 22:32:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abooq/journey_progress_rambling/
---
I started getting into thinspo and losing weight in novemberish, and its been a strange journey. At about Christmas time I hit my lowest weight appearance wise and was super super bony. Since then I've kind of gained a bit of bit of weight and idk here's some pictures

[me in july vs me now, an attempt at those cool buzzfeed face things](http://i.imgur.com/cuAshuX.png)



[still kind of self conscious about my legs, but people on 4chan told me that they're nice. i think my thighs are too big though](http://i.imgur.com/tC1t2tE.png)


Right now I don't feel too good about myself and my weight. My goal weight in the winter was to get down to 100 pounds, and I'm 96 now trying to get to 95. I got very sick and was around 93 for a while but I've bounced back up, and honestly idk I just feel like I'm drifting. In the past month I havent been strict on 500cals a day and I've been having more and more off days. This week, I'm going to try and completely reformat and get back on the 500cal train and stay on it. Motivation would be appreciated btw, but overall this weight loss has been so positive for me. I'm finally confident and happy with how I look. I get so many more compliments on myself and I look so flattering in clothing. I don't shy away from having my shirt off and idk I feel like a whole new person. I love this sub and everyone in it and I hope you all reach your gw's <3

PS sorry for the rant

[Help] I need help
/u/shamusgold25
Created: Sun Mar 13 22:27:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abo6o/i_need_help/
---
[removed]

[Help] Doctor's Appointment: What to Expect?
/u/loveleigh33 [5'6"| 109.0| 17.66 | -78| F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 22:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abnz1/doctors_appointment_what_to_expect/
---
Hope everyone is doing well!

My seasonal depression is back in full force and I'm currently cycling between feelings of anxiety and emptiness. I finally caved and made a doctor's appointment to deal with my depression/anxiety.

Ideally, I'd like to go back on an antidepressant (Prozac Alumna Class of 2014) but I know counseling is probably going to be the recommended treatment. My concern is that in addition to therapy sessions, I'll be prescribed an antidepressant that increases my appetite and ultimately creates another problem for me. Would it be cause for alarm for me to request an antidepressant that doesn't increase appetite? I'm already slightly underweight and I'm not ready to seek treatment for my budding eating disorder--my concern right now is to treat my depression/anxiety.

**TL;DR:** Does anyone have any experience asking for a particular prescription from a doctor?

[Thinspo] My favorite thinspo
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Mar 13 20:10:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ab7ge/my_favorite_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ISS4J

[Goal] I am going to quit purging. LONG self-accountability post (srsly sooooo long).
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 20:00:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ab626/i_am_going_to_quit_purging_long/
---
I am quitting. I have to. For big health reasons that never seemed urgent before but are now, for little vanity related reasons, for all the reasons. I've "recovered" before and gone as long as a couple of years without an episode but it's always been a part of my life, I do it once and then there I am again, purging multiple times a day for months on end. If I don't stop before May, I will have been an active bulimic for *20 years*, fuck me.

The difference this time? I actually want to change, I'm committed to it, I want to work hard for it. Here's my plan:

- Sort of fix my relationship with food (ha...). Right now restriction is "good" foods, b/p is when I get to eat "bad" foods. But it's such a waste anyway bc it's not like I even enjoy what I'm eating when I get into b/p mode, I'm addicted to the binge and the purge, not to the foods. Harm reduction starts now by recognizing this and mitigating damage by having ONE thing I can b/p if I must (cereal with milk - sweet but not so sweet it makes me insane, easy to purge, not so calorie-dense it will make me panic and flush if I feel like I didn't get it all). Hopefully over time I will tame the b/p addiction by not constantly building in the reward of variety/convenience/endorphins with it. Other former b/p foods are on the table but only as normal foods that I just have to find a way to budget around if I really want to eat them.

- stop putting myself in situations where I feel like I have no agency over how much I eat, esp social situations where I feel pressured to eat something I don't know the counts of, overeat, which turns into a bp episode later. Either learn to say no politely or do all the things normal dieters do to deal with this (bring something to share I feel comfortable eating, look up calorie counts before, etc.)

- get serious about the $$$ impact of b/p. I'm surprisingly good at budgeting and sticking to it but b/p money has always been just sort of a slushy hole for me. If I treat it matter-of-factly like my gas bill or anything else I will actually count it and stop myself from overspending.

- start keeping a binge diary again and doing some of the discipline/mindfulness work I keep bookmarking "for later". Play the tape forward. Remind myself of how shitty I feel after, how I don't even get anything out of it any more. Build in small rewards for building the habit of not.

- reinforce how good I feel about losing when I'm losing the right way, with restriction and exercise. Keeping a weekly/daily prog pic as my phone background so I see it every time I pick it up. Writing some goal numbers on the window above the fridge. Etc.

- in general try to be a little more matter of fact about it and not so OMG ED I CANT HELP IT. This is like quitting smoking, like getting out of debt, like whatever. I have to look it in the face and cultivate some discipline to fix it.

I'm doing it this time, you guys. And I'm not going to get fat again while I do it.

I saw this reddit going through random and jesus christ this isn't healthy.
/u/Brandon65756
Created: Sun Mar 13 19:47:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ab4bq/i_saw_this_reddit_going_through_random_and_jesus/
---
[removed]

Need an Anna buddy
/u/lacetightsandgraphit
Created: Sun Mar 13 19:02:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aay94/need_an_anna_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] I used to love collarbones
/u/anordinarypenguin [5'2''|111.8|20.45|-24|F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 17:42:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aandz/i_used_to_love_collarbones/
---
I used to love my collarbones. When I was smaller, I'd even get compliments on them. I'd look at images of collarbones and feel super inspired. Ever since I broke a clavicle a few months ago, though, I haven't felt this way. Every time I see a collarbone picture I'm reminded of my tee-peed bone, and feel put off by it.

Has anyone else broken something that used to make them feel good?

Also, has anyone else just plain broken something before? Do you feel nervous restricting with knowing your bones aren't quite right? I know I do.

[Thinspo] aesthetic thinspo (a bit different from my last album)
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 17:26:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aal7f/aesthetic_thinspo_a_bit_different_from_my_last/
---
https://imgur.com/a/AWZbj

[Discussion] What other subs do you follow?
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 17:06:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aai8c/what_other_subs_do_you_follow/
---
Mobile - no flair

Do you follow other subs for inspiration?

Right now I'm following these subs:

Skinnywithabs

Loseit

Gentlemanboners

The first one is kinda for my personal goals, I'm athletic and i want to maintain some muscle...

The second one is to kinda gross myself out a little... you know what i mean

And the third is so i can see pictures of gorgeous ladies all day... and some of my faves get posted a lot in non NSFW shots, which is nice.

Anyways, what about you?

[Help] Appetite suppressants?
/u/effyhart [5' 8" | 141 | 21.59 | -34 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 17:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aahl9/appetite_suppressants/
---
Due to the nature of my job, I'm not allowed to take ANY supplements unless a doctor approves of it first and there is no way I'm going to ask and potentially get in trouble for weight loss.

Does anyone know of any good, non-medical appetite suppressants? Natural, filling foods, etc etc? I'm not sure where to start.

[Tip] a list of things i do instead of binging
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 16:26:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aacmv/a_list_of_things_i_do_instead_of_binging/
---
http://imgur.com/Xigq6kA

[Rant/Rave] I've been tracking my weight in MFP since February 2012 and it's basically a chart of my failure to combat binge eating disorder
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 16:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aacit/ive_been_tracking_my_weight_in_mfp_since_february/
---
http://imgur.com/rFmkKKT

[Rant/Rave] DAE get worked up over what OTHER people eat?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 16:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aabf1/dae_get_worked_up_over_what_other_people_eat/
---
Especially when it's what you would consider "wasted" calories? Like, people who drink sugar soda/juice or coffee drinks...I'm like ZOMG I could eat so much amazing food for what you just drank in ten minutes!

Usually I'm just a little jealous of people who eat without counting or worrying about it (jealous of the attitude, never the food). But sometimes I just get so obsessed I can't stop counting what everyone else is eating, too, and calculating how much exercise I would have to do to burn it off. Sheesh.

[Thinspo] Male Thinspo Practice doodle (still WIP)
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 15:47:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aa6x7/male_thinspo_practice_doodle_still_wip/
---
http://shangenspo.tumblr.com/post/140988449174/progress-on-some-male-thinspo-practice-sketch

[Rant/Rave] ED problems: when you want to get stoned but all you have are edibles
/u/pessimisticpachyderm [5'4 | 107| 18.4| -15| F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 15:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aa6lz/ed_problems_when_you_want_to_get_stoned_but_all/
---
I want to be high, but I don't want the calories that a pot brownie has in it. Why can't there be weed rice cakes lol

[Rant/Rave] The limits between what is nice, right and sick is very thin for some and very obvious to others
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 14:27:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9uv4/the_limits_between_what_is_nice_right_and_sick_is/
---
I'm angry. I am exhausted and i cant understand the reasons why I cant do what I do. I have good reasons for doing what I do, but people who oppose cant give me enough reasons to make me believe that what they argue is valid.
I am speaking specifically of my fasts and calorie restriction. Im very tired of my aunt being a drama queen, im tired of my friends getting bothered because i dont eat. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN EXPLAINING THEM ANYTHING! So much power do I have? I dont walk through life telling people to eat or to stop eating. Everyone is free to do what they want with their calorie intake. I'm not invading private property, I'm not evading taxes, or stealing, or killing or anything. I'm just trying to do what i want.Why do I want to? Because it makes me feel good.Enough.
I'm not afraid of dying, but that's not what I'm looking for. I dont want people to threaten me and forget what I'm capable of. I know my words can hurt more than a slap and last much longer in consciousness.

[Rant/Rave] Breakfast, lunch, and dessert for the week!
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 14:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9ren/breakfast_lunch_and_dessert_for_the_week/
---
http://imgur.com/3okBnik

[Help] Why am I yoyoing???
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Sun Mar 13 14:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9ra8/why_am_i_yoyoing/
---
For the past five days I've gone from 150 to 149 then back to 150 and I'm so tired of it. Ive been restricting well under 800, under 300 some days. Idk what's happening. What can I do to stop this?

[Help] MFP
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Sun Mar 13 13:25:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9lm7/mfp/
---
Okay lovelies, I've been using MyFitness Pal a lot recently and I've been doing pretty well for myself, but everyone slips and binges every once in a while. I was wondering what percentage of calories I should put in if I purge. Like, I don't know if I should put the foods in entirely or if there's a way to calculate the amount of calories I take in after I purge. Anyone have any suggestions??

[Discussion] Can anyone else relate to this short film segment XXL from the movie "ABCs of Death"? (Warning: gore, nsfw)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 13:16:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9k37/can_anyone_else_relate_to_this_short_film_segment/
---
https://youtu.be/TzA06hup85U

[Rant/Rave] Oreos for breakfast.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 12:26:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9cml/oreos_for_breakfast/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] [PSA] If you're taking any stimulant drugs for appetite suppressants, take just enough to suppress your appetite NOT to give you extra energy.
/u/TheThinSister
Created: Sun Mar 13 11:55:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a982a/psa_if_youre_taking_any_stimulant_drugs_for/
---
I know there are some people here who are taking EC Stacks, so it's important to know this. If you're taking EC Stacks, Adderall, or any stimulant really. If you take it for an energy boost, you're going to burn yourself out and spike your tolerance. Start off on low doses and aim for just enough to help you out.

If you do need energy, drink more water in the morning. My biggest recommendation is to eat an easily digested carb-y food and some protein. Bread and peanut butter for example. Then run or do some exercise that raises your heart a bit. You may first feel tired, but you do get a lot of energy from exercising when you do it more regularly.

[Help] Is my body breaking muscles down?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 13 11:42:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a966q/is_my_body_breaking_muscles_down/
---
I have a really hard time even doing 5 min of squats, I used to be able to do 15 min a month ago. I started shaking at 3 min and was about to fall down at 5. How do I stop this?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 13 10:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8sls/daily_food_diary_march_13_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 13, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I'm cutting chocolate out of my life for a while.
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 09:53:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8riq/im_cutting_chocolate_out_of_my_life_for_a_while/
---
I keep craving it. It's horrible and this week has been the worst for my cravings. I'm cutting it out of my life for a lonnnng time. I've already eaten my calorie budget, so I just need to breathe and stay in my room. All day. No more eating today I guess.

I've always wanted to fast for more than a day so I guess now, 10:54 am CST, is a good time to start it. Let the 48 hour fast begin! and the cravings shall being as well...jeez.

[Rant/Rave] Ugghhhhhh
/u/just_slightly [5'3" | 120.8 | 21.66 |-55.2 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 09:31:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8otu/ugghhhhhh/
---
What the fuck is wrong with me.

I just forced a load of bread and butter pudding with double cream down my throat even though I was feeling so sick from eating all day. Everything had been going so well in the past few days, I felt fine without food, I felt free and light and calm and in control. I'd been losing at a really good rate.

Now i'm just a ridiculous fat mess in the middle of a feeding frenzy.

Tomorrow has to be better, else i'm going to hate myself forever.



[Rant/Rave] Raves, and a rant (just starting out)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 08:49:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8jv4/raves_and_a_rant_just_starting_out/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Please help
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Mar 13 08:40:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8iwc/please_help/
---
I ate less than 200 calories yesterday and today I woke up with everything pulsing, especially my stomach. My chest hurts really bad too. What are some supplements that could help? Would b12 help? I ate 395 calories for breakfast because I felt like I was going to pass out.

[Help] Best way to gain a few (temporary) pounds before a doctor's appointment?
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 06:49:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a87xq/best_way_to_gain_a_few_temporary_pounds_before_a/
---
I'm on the cusp of being underweight (127 and 5'9"), so it's probably not actually an issue. I'm just a little anxious that a nurse or doctor will mention something about my weight. Should I just eat a lot of sodium and drink water? Lots of carbs?

Also, if anyone is willing to share their experience about getting weighed at the doctor while close to/underweight I would appreciate it. The last time I was dealing with eating issues the nurse just commented that I had lost weight since my last visit, and that was it. But I still feel nervous.

Thanks!

[Intro] First post
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 06:18:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a85d6/first_post/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Tip: these water flavourers are so good for staying hydrated and feeling like you've had a sweet treat!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 03:10:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a7rec/tip_these_water_flavourers_are_so_good_for/
---
http://imgur.com/cdabdoD

[Rant/Rave] Just plain scared (vent)
/u/ThroeAwaymeron [5'2" | 121.6 | 23.04 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 23:43:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a7et6/just_plain_scared_vent/
---
So, this is a ramble.

When I was a teenager, I stayed on top of my weight, really carefully. I weighed myself all the time, never really got that thin (I think my low bmi was like 17.3). But at least I tried. Then somehow I decided I wanted to be "better" but instead of better I just got lazy and fat. Fast forward to now, late 20s, I literally don't know how much I weigh.

I've been heavily restricting again, working out again, trying to get back to where I want to be. I just bought a scale and it'll be here Monday, and I'm just so, so, SO scared to find out. I wonder if I have some sort of dysmorphia(?) because I can't even *guess* from looking at pictures, etc. I'll see someone around 130, and think, maybe I'm around there; then I'll see someone who's 160 and I'll think, oh no, I must be closer to that size.

I'm not looking for any answers or anything, and I'll find out come Monday what the damage is, but I just had to vent. I'll report in when I know and I'll keep working :/ thanks for reading this silly rant!

--
UPDATE: Okay! I got my scale today and I am blobbing along at 131.2, which is literally less than a pound away from overweight. But it's actually less than I thought. So, I have a lot of work to do, and it's actually a huge relief just to have my answer. Thank you for your support!!

[Rant/Rave] I feel so fat.
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 21:59:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a74or/i_feel_so_fat/
---
K even though I was under my calorie limit, I still feel super full and gross. I upped it today to be 800 to have some variety and it sucks. I hate this.

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel okay if they go over on the calorie limit if they've been eating veggies/fruits all day long?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 20:17:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6tjh/does_anyone_else_feel_okay_if_they_go_over_on_the/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Moved to a new place - Friendless, Fat, and Sad
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 20:17:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6tho/moved_to_a_new_place_friendless_fat_and_sad/
---
[removed]

[Help] Question about clothing sizes - may have to start buying juniors
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Sat Mar 12 20:08:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6sgw/question_about_clothing_sizes_may_have_to_start/
---
I figured this would be the best place to ask, heh.

So, I'm back on track with losing weight (a little more gradually than I'd like) and my size has gone down over time. Currently the only pants I have that fit me are my size 00 jeans from Target. Actually managed to find a pair with a 33" inseam. However, now they're getting a little loose. Leaving work today I kept having to pull them up (since I'm MtF I have very narrow hips as well) while walking out to my car.

Anyway, since I'm going to be having to buy new pants soon (yet again), where do you guys recommend I go and what sizes to start with? My friend told me that women's 0 is equivalent of juniors 3, does that sound about right? I'm also very tall, and am worried about being able to find pants long enough.



[Rant/Rave] Figured out my biggest b/p triggers today.
/u/BilboOfHouseBaggins [5'2.5 | Fat | -15lb | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 19:00:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6kez/figured_out_my_biggest_bp_triggers_today/
---
So I've come to realize that when I'm doing well in life or feel good, I find it much easier to fast or restrict.

But when I'm going through a bad time, starving just doesn't hurt enough so I end up binging and purging to hurt myself more. Like I prove myself right about being fat and disgusting by doing it. I don't know how to change this mind set. It sucks. I'm dealing with an awful break-up and a new job where I feel like I'm not good enough. My stomach is constantly in knots but somehow I manage to force 1,000 calories down my throat. I just hate that restricting doesn't hurt me enough for my liking.

Anyone else have this line of thinking?

[Help] How hard do i need to try to lose 12lbs in a month
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Sat Mar 12 17:48:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6bhg/how_hard_do_i_need_to_try_to_lose_12lbs_in_a_month/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Does anyone else...
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 12 17:42:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6ap1/does_anyone_else/
---
Does anyone else's face go numb after running or jogging? Especially around where your eyebags would be?

[Rant/Rave] Plateauing so hard :(
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 16:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a63tk/plateauing_so_hard/
---
Ugh, I was doing so well, lost 6lbs in one week, kept on going until I lost a few more. Boom, shark week comes, ruins everything, been staying at the same weight since it started (3/3), and still at the same weight since it ended 3 days ago. Okay, so my caloric intake hasn't been stellar (went over 500 a few times in the past couple weeks and that one day people kept forcing me to eat until my stomach felt like bursting, 1300 calories ugh) but I should still be losing but I'm not and I think I'm gonna cry. Seriously, what the hell, body?

Could it be because of my period? :c Water retention? Is it this crazy? I'd never religiously tracked the relation between my weight and my cycle but oh my god now that I have, I am super annoyed. I swear to god if I step on the scale tomorrow and it shows me the same goddamn number I am going to flip shit and fast for as long as possible.

I'm so close to the 140s (still such a huge number!) I can taste it but goddamn this stagnant number on the scale will be the death of me.

[Tip] (Somewhat) unusual binge-prevention coping methods
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 16:34:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a61ur/somewhat_unusual_bingeprevention_coping_methods/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] #JustEDThings
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 15:58:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a5x2i/justedthings/
---
I have to laugh at myself as I sit here. Cold. Not quite shivering, but it could happen soon. And I can't decide if I want to turn up the heat and *not* be uncomfortably cold, or if I'd rather freeze because it burns more calories.

I know I've seen at least one thread like this before, but it's always good to be able to laugh at our ridiculous behaviours. There's too much to cry about. Laughter is precious.

Edit: sorry for the truly terrible post title. I don't even use twitter.

How fast could I lose 20 - 30 lbs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 15:49:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a5vwl/how_fast_could_i_lose_20_30_lbs/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] How do you guys deal with drunk binging?
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2.5" | 101.6lbs | 18.87 | -25.6 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 15:48:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a5vtl/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_drunk_binging/
---
When I drink with my friends we always end up at a fast food place at the end of the night. When I'm drunk I can't control my restricting and I end up eating more than 900 calories. It happened again last night, and I have no idea how to stop it. What do you guys do to avoid drunk binges?

[Discussion] Websites
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 12 15:06:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a5q3m/websites/
---
I can't find any Proana websites. When I search all I get is anti Proana stuff. What other sites do y'all use?

[Intro] Done lurking, allow me to introduce myself!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:57:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a586f/done_lurking_allow_me_to_introduce_myself/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Shopping for new clothes
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:57:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a585y/shopping_for_new_clothes/
---
So I needed a new pair of jeans and was like all excited. I reached a new low this morning and a BMI of 19.3 (yay) so I thought I'd need an S by now. And lol, de M barely fit. Fuck me, still a fat whale.

[Rant/Rave] I'm a fat piece of shit, and I want to die.
/u/burtra12
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:31:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a54mw/im_a_fat_piece_of_shit_and_i_want_to_die/
---
Binged 3 days in a row after noticeable weight loss. Why do I sabotage myself every time I start to succeed?
My friend that I thought was fatter than me can fit into a size smaller than me and I tried to put on her jeans and they wouldn't button.
My boyfriend is mad at me for making a stupid mistake yesterday and I'm an idiot and I feel like everyone hates me. I want to kill myself but I'm too much of a coward. Can't stop thinking about cutting myself. I tell my boyfriend about it and he takes it like I'm trying to guilt trip him and tell him it's his fault I'm depressed, so I keep digging myself a bigger hole. I just want to be happy and wear a bikini this summer and be loved and desired and not piss everyone off around me and ruin all my relationships with friends and partners. I keep taking pills and quit drinking but the pills will run out. I'm a fat cow with a disgusting fat stomach and love handles and I want to take a knife and cut them off. Sometimes I wish someone would kill me because I know I'm a weak piece of shit and can't do it.

[Goal] Achievements!!!!!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 100 | 16.2 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:18:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a52r7/achievements/
---
I am feeling *amazing* about reaching my goals for the first time in months!! A lot of you know I have been terrified to weigh myself because I don't want to do it and have a BMI that wasn't underweight. And although I didn't think I looked over 18.5 (normal BMI benchmark), I was still too scared to face the scale. I'd get it out, look at it, step on but not look down to see the number. It fucking *taunted* me..

Well yesterday I went to the doctor and I knew she was going to weigh me (just a general physical). I'd been extremely anxious about this for the past two weeks. And when the time came, I couldn't even do it then. I stepped on backwards and asked the nurse not to tell me the number. Which she did no problem, was actually super nice about it!

Well, I got home (feeling like a massive failure) and was checking my patient chart online to see what birth control she'd given me. I happened to glance at the word "underweight". AND I AM!!!!!!!!! Finally had the courage to click and see that I was 110 according to them (with clothes & shoes on!!), putting my BMI at 17.8!!!!

Guys, I am SOOOOOO HAPPY!!!! And I can update my stats for the first time in ages!!! Still haven't gotten the courage to check my at-home scale totally naked, but I set a date where I will absolutely be doing that. And since I saw that number I haven't had even the urge to B/P. I just feel proud and focused on my next goal. I have another Dr. appt in a month and I wanna be at or near 100lbs by then. I can do this!!!!

I owe huge thanks to everyone here who has given me advice, supported me, complimented me, picked me up when I feel like shit, been there when I need a distraction.. I love you all and I don't think I could have accomplished this without the community here! THANK YOU!! <3

[Discussion] Thoughts on Zantex Skinny stix?
/u/macdonaldc
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:18:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a52pi/thoughts_on_zantex_skinny_stix/
---
https://www.google.ca/search?q=skinny+stix&rlz=1CDGOYI_enCA680CA680&hl=en-US&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjSltGz7rvLAhXHLyYKHR3YBaoQ_AUIBygB&biw=375&bih=591#imgrc=gIDw_xS3pUrAgM%3A

[Help] There's a dragon in my tummy
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | 119.05 | 19.83 | -22 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 11:44:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4xsf/theres_a_dragon_in_my_tummy/
---
Anyone have any quick fixes for a screaming, growling stomach? Can't get it to shut up.


Update: thanks everyone for the tips, not a single murmur today ^ ^

[Rant/Rave] I am so fuckng fat.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 12 11:41:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4xh2/i_am_so_fuckng_fat/
---
My jeans ripped when I bent over today. The jeans that I was so proud to still fit in (I've had them since sixth grand and still fit in them(I'm in 11th grade now)).

[Discussion] Saving calories until the evening?
/u/Darling459
Created: Sat Mar 12 11:36:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4wni/saving_calories_until_the_evening/
---
I have read so many different things on this and I apologize if this has been discussed before. I find it super easy to restrict during he day. I can fast from when I wake up until 7pm like its nothing. I've done this so many times and then eaten all of my calories I've set for the day between like 7pm and 10pm. Is this horrible? I ethnically count it as a success as being within my calories but I second guess myself with how bad it feels to eat so much in one sitting especially late in the day. what do you guys think?

[Rant/Rave] Why. WHY?!
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 11:17:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4tx5/why_why/
---
Why is there no PB2 version of Nutella?!

[Rant/Rave] Rollercoaster of Relief and Disappointment
/u/KingofSuicides [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Mar 12 10:59:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4r3w/rollercoaster_of_relief_and_disappointment/
---
A few weeks ago I bought a scale; it had been *three months* since I started restricting to 1000 calories a day and I wanted to see what progress I had made ... I was horrified to learn that I weighed exactly the same amount that I had when I first started.

So I restricted further. I cut down to just 600 calories a day. That was three weeks ago and, since then, I've been having daily and weekly ups and downs emotionally and I'm just about to completely lose my mind.

I managed to get down to 166.5 lbs. Yeah, after restricting to 600 calories a day, I've only lost 3.5 lbs in three weeks. I've been keeping track of everything that enters my body - even water. Yesterday when I got home after work, I weighed 168lbs and this morning I'm back down to 166.5 lbs.

Here's what I eat each day:

**Morning:** 1 cup of yogurt (100 calories); 1 glass of water

**Lunch:** 1 can of soup with equal parts milk (averages 200 calories)

**Dinner:** Same as above, sometimes I'll eat a couple of slices of toast or through in two sliced-up hotdogs into the soup (this maxes out my dinner at about 350 calories).

I sip on water for most of the day when I feel my stomach rumbling or I get hunger pangs. Over the last week I noticed that I'm feeling those rumblings/pangs much less frequently, too, which is really fantastic.

I still feel, though, that I should've lost a lot more weight than I have. I'm starting to feel like my body is sabotaging me, that it *wants* me to be fat and I'm getting worried that I'm going to break and just go back to eating 2000+ calories a day and eat myself to death.

Everything I've read said that if I eat fewer calories than I consume, I should lose weight. I have lost *some* weight but ... 3.5 lbs in 3 weeks doesn't seem like a lot. Especially since, to maintain my 170lbs I'd have to consume 2200 calories a day. Eating 600 a day means I'm in a *major* deficit.

I'm really, really close to calling it quits and just giving in. I feel like I've been lied to by every source on nutrition I've come across. I feel like this is just one more thing my body does wrong that everyone else's body does correctly.

Either that or I may give up all food altogether and really starve myself; I'm not sure I want that, either.

**EDIT:** Aaannnddd ... now I'm sitting here eating a half-dozen donuts because I am so goddamn angry with myself and I feel like giving up if this is what my body does to me since starting calorie restriction in *NOVEMBER*. How does someone only lose three and a half pounds in four months?! I hate my body so fucking much. I want revenge on it.

[Discussion] Scales
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Sat Mar 12 10:37:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4nwg/scales/
---
Does anyone else ever step on the scale and not believe the number it shows you?

It came up for me as 105lbs today, but I just feel like it's not true at all. I don't think I look any lighter than the me at 110 lb or even 115.

[Intro] Intro!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 09:44:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4gj4/intro/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 12 09:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4b39/daily_food_diary_march_12_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 12, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Question about calories
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 09:00:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4ax8/question_about_calories/
---
I had the quiche lorraine at mimis. Their menu said 500 (still bad) but mfp said 870!!! Which is true?

[Discussion] Fucking saturdays... Boring ass saturdays...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 08:32:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a47hf/fucking_saturdays_boring_ass_saturdays/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Was feeling good for the first time in a long time... and then I tried on a romper
/u/lessismoreofme [5'3 | 145lbs | 26.58 | -45lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 08:09:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a44pt/was_feeling_good_for_the_first_time_in_a_long/
---
Still look like an oompa loompa. Or, because it was blue, Violet Beauregard after the blueberry scene.... ugh....





[Discussion] Just wondering what accounts you follow on instagram
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 08:06:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a44c7/just_wondering_what_accounts_you_follow_on/
---
I just got an account (wow, like 5 years late to everything) and wanted to see who you all follow for inspiration. (i searched the subreddit too)

[Tip] A breakfast tip!
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 07:12:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a3y7m/a_breakfast_tip/
---
So if you're like me and you're living with someone who doesn't let you openly restrict, I just had an apple for breakfast by nuking it in the microwave for 30 seconds and sprinkling some cinnamon on top!

Edit: thank you for all the kind words on yesterday's post❤️

[Goal] To stop binging, I made a list of how I feel after I binge and rules of what I must do before I can order takeout
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Mar 11 20:29:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a29a5/to_stop_binging_i_made_a_list_of_how_i_feel_after/
---
**How I feel after I binge**

-Regret. I really wish I hadn't done that. I'd take it back if I could

-Panic. I'm going to gain so much fucking weight from this

-Desperation. I want to purge this so badly

-Disgust. I'm such a weak pathetic fat pig

-Shame. Cramming my face with shit alone in my room so nobody sees, nice

-Hopeless. I'm going to be fat forever, I'm never going to reach my goal

-Nauseous. It feels like my stomach might burst open

-FAT, enormous, bloated. I look pregnant, and the water weight will keep me looking fatter for days.




**DON'T MAKE YOURSELF FEEL LIKE THIS.
BEFORE YOU ORDER TAKEOUT/EAT BINGE FOOD, YOU MUST:**

Take a hot shower

Paint your nails/ do a face mask

Watch 15 minutes of ASMR videos in bed

Eat something healthy at home & drink a glass of water


**TL;DR** I'm hoping that taking a self-care and compassion approach will help me overcome this problem. What would you add to this list?

[Help] How quickly did you lose weight?
/u/cellopenguin [63" | 107.6 | 19.56 | -32.4 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 20:00:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a25fl/how_quickly_did_you_lose_weight/
---
So I've been losing weight pretty regularly since November (about 30 pounds so far). However, I've gotten frustrated at how slow it's felt for the last few weeks. So for people on here who've lost a significant amount of weight (I don't know how to define that - maybe 20ish pounds or more??), how long did it take you? Should I be worried that I'm not losing fast enough?

[Rant/Rave] Cheated yesterday, I want to binge today because the scale went up so much
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Fri Mar 11 20:00:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a25ea/cheated_yesterday_i_want_to_binge_today_because/
---
So I gave myself a cheat day yesterday because I've been popping xanax every 6 hours to keep the anxiety attack at bay since Monday and I just wanted bread.

Ate 2200 cal yesterday and I feel awful today. I'm at 878 (850 limit) today and I don't know if I want to go home at eat or not. I told my husband I didn't want dinner because I'm getting home so late with traffic but I just want to lay down and eat crap and ruminate on all the things I haven't done while doing nothing. I bounced from 148lbs to 153lbs overnight with yesterday's binge and real or not that's so disheartening.

[Rant/Rave] CW
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Fri Mar 11 18:45:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1ves/cw/
---
I'm having a really bad panic attack. I have binged two days in a row and I now weigh 104 pounds instead of 98 pounds. I hate my self so much. I just want to cut the fat off. I want to be able to put my hand around the top of arm and my hand actually fit. I want my stomach fat to go away. I hate it so much. I hate me so much.

[Help] Newbie First Fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 11 18:42:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1uwh/newbie_first_fast/
---
Hello. I'm new here and I just wanted some advice about fasting. I planned to do only 48 hours as a trial but I ended up doing 72. I felt so good but I broke the fast by having some sushi (240 calories) for dinner. I was just wondering what types of foods are best after a fast? I am also worried about my weigh-in in the morning. How do you deal with the scale going up after a fast? Thanks everyone!

[Help] Bronkaid... im i doing it wrong?
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 18:16:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1rd0/bronkaid_im_i_doing_it_wrong/
---
Mobile sorry no flare

So i primarily have a binge ED with occasional purging...

And i saw everyone discussing bronkaid on here... and i was at the pharmacy this morning so i grabbed a pack thinking maybe it would take away my appetite. I've been doing well with just using MFP to keep track and monitor my calories, but i wanted to see if i could find something to help more.

I took one pill on an empty stomach... and... nothing.

I just ate a salad with steak and im eating a 100cal bag of popchips trying to fight the urge to binge. This puts me around 600 calories today and i need to save room for dinner with my bf and a glass of wine... so i can't consume much else.

I didn't feel anything. Am i supposed to take 2? Ugh.

But my chest cold feels better, so i guess that's pretty cool. :/

[Help] EC Stacks=headaches??
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Fri Mar 11 16:35:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1de1/ec_stacksheadaches/
---
I don't know if it's caffeine portion of it that gives me such painful headaches, but damn. They are killing me. And I'm usually too scared to take aspirin because of the increased blood pressure. Anyone else have this side effect or have any advice?

Edit: I'm on mobile but il flair when I can

[Discussion] IMPORTANT: CAN WE PLEASE STOP PICKING FIGHTS ON THIS SUB? WE'RE HERE TO HELP EACHOTHER. [HAPPENED ON ONE OF MY EARLIER POSTS]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 16:29:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1cg5/important_can_we_please_stop_picking_fights_on/
---
http://imgur.com/V0fOuat

[Help] How do you get EC stack? Side effects? Testimonies welcome!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 11 16:19:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1ayx/how_do_you_get_ec_stack_side_effects_testimonies/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I failed, you guys.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 11 16:19:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1ayq/i_failed_you_guys/
---
[deleted]

This Sub...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 11 15:40:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a15kl/this_sub/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How do you avoid bingeing while depressed?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 14:23:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a0tjr/how_do_you_avoid_bingeing_while_depressed/
---
Trigger warning, issues other than Eating disorder

I'm suicidal a lot. I have a hard time not bingeing because it won't matter of I binge if I die tonight, or if I start purgeing who cares I might not be alive next week. I have been trying to get over my other issues but its hard, a major pain, and there's no way it'll fix quick. So how do you avoid bingeing of any of you get like this?

[Discussion] Has anyone used any essential oils for weight loss before?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 14:22:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a0t9f/has_anyone_used_any_essential_oils_for_weight/
---
I went to a workshop last night about essential oils and their various uses, and one of them was weight loss. Anyone have experience with this or curious about it as well?

[Discussion] What do you consider a "restrictive" calorie count?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Fri Mar 11 13:58:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a0pcp/what_do_you_consider_a_restrictive_calorie_count/
---
I take in usually around 600-900 calories a day.. 500 is hard, but makes me feel good, whereas around 900 i dont feel like ive done well... Wbu? What do you guys consider to high to be "restricting" i see if people are eating 1200 a day, thats a dieting amount, not a restricting amount... Id say under 1000 is an ED amount? Opinions?

[Help] Should increase intake to kickstart metabolism again?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Fri Mar 11 13:45:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a0ncn/should_increase_intake_to_kickstart_metabolism/
---
Ive been platueing recent..despite having around 600 cals a day, sometimes less,to account,for an 1800 calorie day i had last week...today im looking at around 900... Will the boost me, so i start losing again? Anyone else do it?

[Discussion] Does anyone else...
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Fri Mar 11 11:56:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a05wj/does_anyone_else/
---
Does anyone else concider eating a normal sized meal for an a average person a binge?

[Discussion] How was your best/longer weight loss "streak"?
/u/NewbieRunnerInBlue [5'3''| CW 154 lb | 27.3 | - 45 lb | GW 110 lb | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 10:33:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49zs8j/how_was_your_bestlonger_weight_loss_streak/
---
I had been under a lots of ups and downs lately, It is like I'm losing and gaining the same 10lb all the time. I wonder how much weight people is able to lose until falling and binging again ... for how long were you able to sustain it before something made you stop? What was it? how much weight were you able to lose until started gaining again?

[Discussion] What besides numbers makes you feel small or light or beautiful?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 09:18:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49zgbb/what_besides_numbers_makes_you_feel_small_or/
---
So yesterday my husband gave me a piggyback ride for the first time in years. It was a breathless, giggly, childish moment. He ran across a parking lot with me on his back without a struggle and it felt amazing.

I realized there are things that make me feel close to goal that have nothing to do with numbers on a scale or a tape measure or a clothing tag.

One of the others is yoga, because everything about the practice is designed to encourage lightness and length. And another is sex, because my husband gets increasingly vocal about how much he likes my whole body as I lose weight. He actually said he likes my ribs the other day, which means he can see them!

So what things make you feel in sync with your body? What things make you feel close to goal that aren't number-related?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 11 09:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49zdsy/daily_food_diary_march_11_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 11, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I am failing...
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Mar 11 08:30:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49z8xc/i_am_failing/
---
What happened? I was doing so well, losing 10 lbs a month, restricting was a dream. Now I'm binging, and just eating like a 'normal' person. Last night I ate 5 bowls of cinnamon toast crunch in my bed. I'm up 5 pounds. I NEVER wanted to see this number again. I'm trying to fast to get back on track but the second any food touches my lips it turns into a free for all. I CAN'T go back to being fat...but I feel like I'm sliding down a muddy hill and can't get my footing. I'm panicking...

[Tip] Sweet deal if you love quest bars like meeee
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | too fat | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 07:25:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yznj/sweet_deal_if_you_love_quest_bars_like_meeee/
---
**It just expired guys, sorry ;_;**

***
My coworker always hears me rave about Quest bars so he linked me this offer on [slick deals](http://slickdeals.net/f/8556750-12-count-quest-nutrition-protein-bar-12-count-qn-pumpkin-pie-22-85-free-s-h). I haven't tried it yet but it looks like if you order a box of 12 bars you get a free box of 12 pumpkin pie bars as well. So that's 24 bars for like $23! If you've been wanting to try them but thought they were too expensive, this is a good excuse to get some. Almost all the bars are under 200 calories and have around 20g protein and 14g fiber! Hope this helps someone out :)

Edit: I'm not sure where Vitacost ships to, so it might be US only.

Edit 2: Boooo they don't have a variety pack. BUT apple pie is life. So is strawberry cheesecake.

[Tip] this was helpful to me - emotional vs physical hunger :)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 07:13:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yy15/this_was_helpful_to_me_emotional_vs_physical/
---
http://andycore.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/hunger.jpg

[Thinspo] Thinspo Friday #1 - Enjoy <3
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 07:11:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yxsn/thinspo_friday_1_enjoy_3/
---
http://imgur.com/a/fYfFE

[Help] Snacking when I get home?
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 07:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ywl5/snacking_when_i_get_home/
---
Hello everyone :)

So, I have a problem. Whenever I get home from school ~3:00, I end up having a bunch of shitty snacks that almost put me over my calorie limit. Anyone have any tips? Thank you <3

[Help] So I kinda blew it but I have a question
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 05:55:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yoap/so_i_kinda_blew_it_but_i_have_a_question/
---
Should I factor in all the calories I exercised off in addition to everything I shoved in my mouth? I feel like I should pretend like I didn't even exercise so I have to restrict more. Do any of yall cut the size tag out of your clothes so you don't have to look at it? Also I am just going to eat oatmeal for a week. And I don't think I flaired this right so I'm sorry if not.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! March 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 11 05:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yhst/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_march_11/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for March 11, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] DAE love feeling hungry?
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 01:28:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xwlt/dae_love_feeling_hungry/
---
I feel on edge, alert, and sharp when I fast. My stomach feels so empty and it makes me feel light. Even the hunger pangs feel good. I feel so in control and powerful. I know a lot of people get distracted and bleary when they're hungry but for me it's the opposite. When I eat I feel bogged down and tired and unfocused. But when I fast I feel so light and overall good. Anyone else feel the same way?

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Dad wanted to talk to me, started spewing fatlogic.
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 01:00:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xts8/rant_dad_wanted_to_talk_to_me_started_spewing/
---
My dad, who is 50lbs away from 300, came to my room and asked to talk to me. he noticed I've been restricting pretty severely but I've also made efforts to look like I'm eating normally (ate dinner with my parents yesterday even though I wanted to cry because I went past my 500 calorie limit) but he's more observant than I thought. He started spewing out fatlogic saying I'll end up in starvation mode, I'm wasting away, being skinny isn't worth it, more fatlogic about macros being more important than calories, blah blah, all that stuff. I kept quiet but couldn't help but think, I probably know more about nutrition than you do, and I'd rather be skinny and miserable than fat and miserable. I couldn't stop running my fingers over my wrist bones. They stuck out so much and it made me so happy. I know he was jealous that I'm successfully losing weight while he keeps saying he's going to start his diet "tomorrow" every fucking Sunday. I've done all I can to help him start but he keeps making excuses and I'm done with that. Now I'm focusing on me, and I'm not gonna stop until my bones all stick out and people start worrying about me and telling me I'm getting too skinny. And when people start doing that, *I won't fucking stop*. I won't become a slave to food, mindless shoving down grease and sugar down my throat. I'm stronger than that.

I *will* get to my goal weight. And no one can stop me.

[Help] [Help] banting bread
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | 119.05 | 19.83 | -22 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 00:50:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xsr6/help_banting_bread/
---
I'm gluten intolerant and that usually gets me out of eating bread. Bread is scary scary and freaks me out cos I associate it with binging. Where I'm staying at the moment, they've taken my gluten free needs into consideration and make the most delicious banting bread EVERY DAY. I binge on banting bread EVERY DAY. I need to stop and I don't know how to. I ate a whole loaf yesterday.


Can anyone help me out with ideas of alternatives or reassure me about the calorific values of banting bread? I'm really freaking out. Also they notice when I don't eat and ask questions about my food and I need better ways to cover my tracks other than lying badly.


Edit: spelling


[Discussion] Anyone have a sibling or siblings with an ED?
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Fri Mar 11 00:48:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xsi2/anyone_have_a_sibling_or_siblings_with_an_ed/
---
Because it really fucks with your head, goddamn. I was just wondering if anyone else isn't the only little fucked up one in the family.

(Short, sneaky post written from Treatment because I'm a terrible, terrible person...)

(Treatment not of my choosing)

(Love you all)

[Goal] Back to my LW
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Mar 11 00:17:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xp6m/back_to_my_lw/
---
Last time I fucked up at this point by binging. Hope I will do better now..

[Tip] I just started adding highlights and contour to my collar bones and hip bones.
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2.5" | 101.6lbs | 18.87 | -25.6 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 21:56:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49x82o/i_just_started_adding_highlights_and_contour_to/
---
It makes me feel so pretty

[Discussion] glucomannan powder ideas?
/u/spaghetti_enthusiast [5'4.5" | 133lbs | 22.43 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 21:23:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49x45d/glucomannan_powder_ideas/
---
I have a bottle of glucomannan powder I bought a while ago in an effort to get more fiber into my system and also fill me up but I have literally no idea what to do with it. I tried mixing it with water and PB2 and I kid you not it tasted like peanut butter snot. Any ideas or recipes?

[Rant/Rave] Energy or excuses?
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 20:38:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wy98/energy_or_excuses/
---
Between restricting and doing errands/chores, I feel like I never have the energy to go to the gym, EVEN THOUGH many people at lower calorie counts and BMIs do, and I also take Bronkaid/caffeine twice a day. I feel like I'm just lazy.

[Tip] TIL the BMI is invalid if you have scoliosis
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 20:31:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wxay/til_the_bmi_is_invalid_if_you_have_scoliosis/
---
Apparently I have the organs and bones of a 1.65m woman crammed into my 1.62m frame. Which means my BMI is WRONG! Since a person's height is typically the same as their wingspan, it is recommended to use your wingspan as your height calculation.


I guess this explains why my chest bones and upper spine always start to show at a seemingly high BMI?

I will continue to use my "real" height regularly, but there will definitely be some calculations based on wingspan along the way.

I was excited to learn this and had to share with my fellow curvy spined ladies!!

....if real women have curves, am I superwoman because I have extra curves in my spine?

[Goal] My boyfriend called me skinny today!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 20:29:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wx0d/my_boyfriend_called_me_skinny_today/
---
He picked me up and spun me around and said "hello my little skinny love!" *swoons* I gotta love that boy. He's around 6'2" and 145lbs max (and a lot of that is muscle), coming from him it's a huge compliment.

My weight loss has been kind of stagnant lately, but hey, at least I'm not gaining! I feel skinnier near my collarbones and arms, which is great, but fatter near my stomach, which is not so great. Not sure if it's all in my head or what.

Anyway, stay lovely, everyone!

Just failed my exam. Punishment time.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 19:22:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ws83/just_failed_my_exam_punishment_time/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] [Vent] My antidepressants work too well
/u/Raspberry_Pancake
Created: Thu Mar 10 18:53:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wo97/vent_my_antidepressants_work_too_well/
---
I can't find it in me to restrict anymore. I don't know if I should be happy or sad about it.

[Rant/Rave] Ahhhh I'm so glad I can start restricting again!
/u/fart_joke [4'11" | 124 lbs | 25 | -41 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 18:09:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wib7/ahhhh_im_so_glad_i_can_start_restricting_again/
---
The past couple weeks, I had been getting dizzy and passing out and thought it was due to my restricting and adding in weight lifting at the gym about an hour a day (because you know, more muscle = more fat burning). I started to eat more, cramming in up to 1200 FUCKING CALORIES IN A DAY and I was still dizzy and passing out.

But I figured out it wasn't really my restriction.. it was the stupid cheap generic adderall that was making me sick! I've quit taking it and feel sooo much healthier. Even better now that I can restrict again. Maybe I'll treat myself to a fast this weekend.

I was super lucky that I didn't gain weight and stayed the same throughout these past two weeks even though I added so many calories. Now back to making progress with you lovelies <3

how much is it possible to lose in a week?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 18:03:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49whis/how_much_is_it_possible_to_lose_in_a_week/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] mmmmmmm... mud
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 17:59:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wgvf/mmmmmmm_mud/
---
Today, I salivated over mud. It looked so fucking delicious. I saw the mud. I wanted to eat the mud. I wanted to eat it so badly that the longing made my chest hurt. It looked like thick chocolate mousse, or like creamy fudge gelato. I looked at the mud and I said to myself, "Stop that right now. It's not chocolate. It's dog shit, if anything. Surely you don't want to eat dog shit, you goddamn loony." But I looked at the mud and I swear to god I could taste its chocolatey richness, so sweet that it would make my teeth ache if I grabbed a handful of it and crammed it into my mouth. I imagined the velvety texture of it, melting away and oozing down my throat in an exquisite cascade…

of mud. I lusted after mud today, you guys. I'm at home now, but I can't get the image of that delectable fucking mud out of my head. Holy shit. What has my life become.

[Tip] Inner thigh workout!
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 17:30:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wd23/inner_thigh_workout/
---
Hi guys :)

So, I've been focusing on my thigh gap for quite a while and I found the perfect workout [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJyZhOJ2Tag0). I've been doing it once a day for 3 days and my inner thighs are already starting to firm up :)

Happy exercising!

(thinspo friday is tomorrow :p /u/ifuckpineapples

[Rant/Rave] I think we define that differently...
/u/watchingwheels80 [5'5" | 129| 21.5 | -46 | F ]
Created: Thu Mar 10 17:03:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49w9aw/i_think_we_define_that_differently/
---
Today I went out to eat with a dear but very obese friend. Since we are so close, I wasn't on guard. While looking at the menu, I accidentally slipped out, "there are days of calories". She interpreted that as "calories for days", meaning "there are lots of calories, so I am using an expression and don't mean this at all literally".

Uh huh. That's totally what I meant.

[Discussion] Favorite Gums?
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 16:55:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49w7yb/favorite_gums/
---
So, since I'm in this anti binge challenge, I need to figure out a way to resist the temptation of all the crap around me. Can some of you tell me your favorite types of gum that curb cravings?

[Rant/Rave] I'm really glad this place exists
/u/lifetc
Created: Thu Mar 10 16:42:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49w6dx/im_really_glad_this_place_exists/
---
Nothing helps more when I feel like bingeing or anything to think about this sub and the sort of standards I need to hold myself to. Thanks guys

[Tip] New oatmeal recipe!!
/u/bellatrixcat
Created: Thu Mar 10 15:42:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vxc8/new_oatmeal_recipe/
---
So like many of us here, I love oatmeal. But with no peanut butter around or berries which is the usual combo for my oatmeal I decided to try something different and it literally changed my life, lol. So here it is ~ Make your oatmeal how you usually do, and mix in jam and you won't believe it but...coffee creamer. All you need is a tablespoon! I used caramel macchiato and strawberry jam and it tasted like strawberry shortcake. Unf. So good. Enjoy! :)

[Intro] Hello everyone :)
/u/bookofbluesysaturday [5'7 | 159 | 24.9 | -13 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 15:29:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vv4n/hello_everyone/
---
[removed]

[Help] I binged
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 15:04:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vr4g/i_binged/
---
After a day of eating ±1600kcal I got home and had a ±2300 kcal binge. Binging usually isn't much of an issue for me so I don't know how it happened. I just felt so out of control I literally couldn't stop. I tried to purge but it didn't work, then fucking ate more because I felt like a failure for not being able to. I feel so lost right now, I have no idea what to do. My stomach shrunk so much from restricting and now that I've completely stuffed myself with food it feels like I swallowed a bunch of bricks with a hint of razorblades (which isn't enough to keep me from feeling like eating even more). I don't know how to make the pain go away, I don't know what or wether to eat tomorrow, I don't know how the fuck I'm going to make up for the amount of weight I'm going to gain from this. Please help.

[Thinspo] found this girl on insta... definition of goals
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 14:38:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vmwc/found_this_girl_on_insta_definition_of_goals/
---
http://imgur.com/a/F7VoV

[Intro] Intro
/u/Flufferbutternutter [5'2" | 103 | 19.52 | -37 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 13:44:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vdwc/intro/
---
Well, it seems to be a good day for introductions, so I thought I might.
Right now I'm struggling. I'm comfortable with and can maintain 300-500 calories a day, but I'm breastfeeding and my milk dries up if I eat that little. My target is 800 a day to maintain milk supply but once I hit over 500 I wind up binging half the time, and then I throw up because stress and self loathing and a full stomach don't mix well on me. It's a horrible cycle but I don't want to give up nursing so I'm trying.
I'm at 125, which is horrible, but I've lost 15 lbs in the last three weeks. I was at 165 at 9 months pregnant, 150 lbs post partum, and had worked that down to 140 before I found out my husband is a lying cheating asshat which triggered the start of this restriction cycle.

[Tip] Seaweed is my saviour!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 13:28:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vb20/seaweed_is_my_saviour/
---
Hi everyone! So I thought I’d share a tip but it may not be for everyone. I suffer from seriously bad low blood pressure so I’m encouraged to eat a lot of sodium/salt. Anyway, when I get hunger pangs, I mix 1 top of Miso paste with a handful of wakame seaweed in boiling water.... oh my God! It might be a bit salty for some, but it’s ultra low calorie, full of magnesium and potassium, and it expands in the water. It’s so chewy and filling, after two cups I feel like I’ve eaten a full meal and I’m satisfied for ages. It’s a perfect 3pm pick me up.

I think there are lower sodium options, I’ve not tried them – but in my own experience I haven’t experienced any extraordinaire water retention or bloating. In fact quite the opposite, it’s very fibrous!

Hope this helps some of you!


[Thinspo] Thinspo Album from my personal collection. Tall girls and hipbones.
/u/kait989 [178cm | 118lbs | 17.04 | -57lbs| F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 12:24:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49uzu0/thinspo_album_from_my_personal_collection_tall/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ooKhN

[Help] A Bit of a Pickle
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 110 | 16.54 | -35 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 12:05:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49uwl6/a_bit_of_a_pickle/
---
I'm going to a conference next week. As part of it, I can reimburse my meal expenditures. I get $70 per day to spend on food. But I have a dilemma: I don't know what I want to do. Do I want to try to maintain? Do I want to try to (slowly) lose more? If I do the second, I'm a little worried, because my receipts are going to look odd. My supervisor reviews them before I can be reimbursed and if I only bill for one "meal" a day (for me a meal would be like a Starbucks pastry) I'm worried he might ask me about it. What should I do? Does anyone have any advice? The reason I'm a bit hesitant to try to maintain is that I *just* broke a plateau and I'm terrified it will lead to bingeing.

[Rant/Rave] Fit into my low weight jeans!
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 11:17:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49uojc/fit_into_my_low_weight_jeans/
---
I have a pair of jeans that are from the last time my eating issues hit hard. I've always loved them and was upset when they stopped fitting. I got rid of all my other too small pants, but kept this one pair just in case. I finally pulled them out, and they fit! I'm only 2 lbs away from my low weight (I need to update my flair, I'm at 129 now) but I was super nervous they would still be too tight.

I also had to buy new work pants. There were no size 4s so I grabbed a 2 and a 6 to try on. The 2s fit! I know it's major vanity sizing, but I don't care. I never thought I would fit into a size that small just given my frame.

Thanks for letting me brag :)

[Rant/Rave] Finally lost my first 2 lbs since being back "on the wagon"
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 11:15:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49uo8m/finally_lost_my_first_2_lbs_since_being_back_on/
---
It's been about a week since I've been on here and back on the wagon, I checked the scale this morning so that I'm down from 162 to 160. Not a huge difference since I haven't really been exercising at all, but at least I've been restricting enough to where it makes a difference! I've found my fav thing is the instant packets of miso soup are like 35 cal each and so filling! I know I still have a lot of lose to be where I want to be, but every little bit counts!

[Rant/Rave] I'm a mess.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 11:06:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49umqa/im_a_mess/
---
This week has been horrible. HORRIBLE. I've been binging since the weekend, broke my 3+ year long purge-free streak, and have just been overall self-destructive. I don't know what the fuck is up but it has to stop. Last night I had a dream that was so, so, so, so upsetting and I can't get it out of my head and I just want to make myself feel pain and that's a scary thought. I hate this. I want out of my head.

I'm going to fast until Monday I think. It's hard for me to fast though because I really struggle with over-exercising and the two combined usually lead to me being passed out on the ground somewhere in public and that's just not fun for anyone. But I'm going to do my workout tomorrow morning and then take the weekend off and live off of liquids and illegal substances because that's where I'm at right now and I never thought I'd be there again but I feel like a bag of dicks and something has to budge because if it doesn't I'm going to go mental. My mind is a terrible place to be right now.

[Discussion] Breakfast with family ideas!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 10 10:53:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ukjh/breakfast_with_family_ideas/
---
Hi! A while ago I made a post about super low kcal dinners that look like a lot. I thought it would be time for a breakfast one!

Here are some of my favo's:
- melons: half a melon is about 65 kcal (depending on how big it is) it's filling, tasty and looks like a TON of food.
- apple slices with cinnamon: if you just slice an apple in a lot of tiny parts and add some cinnamon, you're good to go, lovely and if you eat it with a fork, it takes some time to finish
- a "fake" smoothie, add some low cal milk and a few strawberries in a blender, blendy blendy and say it's a fruit smoothie.

[Discussion] Boyfriend will be out of town for 2 days....picked up some fasting supplies!
/u/dsprngact [4'10 | 119 | 26.6|-34| female]
Created: Thu Mar 10 10:17:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ue75/boyfriend_will_be_out_of_town_for_2_dayspicked_up/
---
http://imgur.com/9CET5bG

[Tip] [Tip][Recipe] Super simple low-carb tortillas (54 cal/5.88 g protein/1 g fat/4.34 carbs/2.50 g fiber — NET CARBS: 1.84 g)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 10:11:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ud7j/tiprecipe_super_simple_lowcarb_tortillas_54/
---
http://the-lowcarb-diet.com/low-carb-tortilla-recipe/

[Discussion] How do you stay warm in school?
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:44:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u8ap/how_do_you_stay_warm_in_school/
---
My school always keep the AC on 65 and I am constantly shivering. How do you stay warm (other than lots of clothes)

[Discussion] Looking for anecdotal (not medical) info about EC stuff
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:41:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u7ph/looking_for_anecdotal_not_medical_info_about_ec/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Thiso of me again (sorry I'm posting so much)
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:28:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u5jj/thiso_of_me_again_sorry_im_posting_so_much/
---
http://m.imgur.com/gUkCsIt

[Discussion] Coming close to the 48 hour mark in my liquid fast
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW:118.2 (-10) GW:95 | BMI 22.3 | Female]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:16:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u3hx/coming_close_to_the_48_hour_mark_in_my_liquid_fast/
---
How do you guys keep up your energy to work out and everything else during restricting/fasting? I've been feeling like I need 3 days of sleep, and like all I can do is be a couch potato.

[Thinspo] Album of me
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:14:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u33n/album_of_me/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/quLzf

[Intro] Intro!
/u/corvoidae [5'5" | 165 lbs | 27.78 | -24 lbs | FtM]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:10:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u2cx/intro/
---
Hey! Been lurking for a few days now, and I've found this place really helpful. You guys are incredible, super friendly and welcoming! I'm so glad to have found this sub.

I'm new here, and newish to Reddit in general, so hopefully I don't fuck up too bad here, ahaha!

Anyways, here's a bulleted list of Me:

• I'm 5'5", 165 lbs, with a HW of 189 lbs and a LW of 148 lbs. GW1 is 140, GW2 is 120, and UGW is 110 or lower. Recently turned 18, and finishing up my senior year of high school. Currently on a very strict restriction plan, like ~300 cal a day, only lean meats and veggies for food, some very low-cal condiments if I must, and tea/Splenda. On top of that, lots of cardio and maybe some weight training and yoga. I'll be relaxing my diet at the end of the month I think, I really don't think ~300 cal a day is sustainable long-term. Probably up it to about 500-800 cal a day. If anyone has any thoughts on this, I'm glad to hear them!
• I'm transgender, which might contribute to my dieting habits? Being underweight means no period, smaller chest/hips/thighs/butt, fitting better into men's clothes, passing better, etc. I'm not 100% sure whether I'm a trans guy or more nonbinary or what, but labels and the like don't matter too much to me, as long as I know what I need to be happy and comfortable in my transition.
• I've got ADHD which makes it kinda hard to avoid bingeing sometimes. It makes me really impulsive and careless, which is never good. I've been trying to come up with strategies to combat this, and I think it's working, to an extent!
• I've been overweight my whole life, and it's awful and gross and I'm fuckin tired of it. Even in early elementary school, I was huge and constantly bingeing. I started trying to make a real change in Oct. 2014, and it lead to me starting to restrict for the first time. I fell off track this past summer due to vacations and really stressful move into a new house and gained like 20 lbs :\ so I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things and get down to ~140 lbs by April.
• Aside from ADHD and gender dysphoria and I guess dysmorphia, I honestly don't think I have any other mental issues? Not even typically co-morbid ones like depression or anxiety, just a few odd, unfortunate quirks here and there. Hell, I don't even know if I have a real ED, or just really disordered habits? I've never been diagnosed, but I've also never tried really telling anyone. I don't know. It's quite confusing. If anyone wants to know more about that, feel free to ask.

Anyways, I think that's about it. Thanks for reading, guys! Can't wait to see you around more, and sorry this was so long, whoops.

[Thinspo] Words my mom said that pushed me back into ED
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:02:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u15l/words_my_mom_said_that_pushed_me_back_into_ed/
---
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/NDqRbQW

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u10f/daily_food_diary_march_10_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 10, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I Didn't Purge
/u/anordinarypenguin [5'2''|111.8|20.45|-24|F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 08:44:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ty54/i_didnt_purge/
---
I didn't purge last night. This is pretty significant because I've been purging every night for the past... I dunno, probably two weeks. I just couldn't stop myself. But last night I didn't purge, even after eating half a twix, some cheese puffs, some pizza and bits of a hostess cupcake.

When I woke up this morning, I was 1 lb lighter and my stomach looked significantly less bloated. This, coupled with the fact that I'm so damn proud of myself for not purging, is so crazy motivating. I've been at the same weight for the past week now, and because I didn't purge, I broke this plateau.

I just wanted to share my happiness with you guys, and to also mention just how much purging isn't worth it. It makes you bloated and you don't lose weight (or, if you do, it's not a lot of weight). As you all know, it also fucks up your teeth. If you can stop yourself from purging, do it!

[Intro] An introduction
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Thu Mar 10 08:23:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49tuyo/an_introduction/
---
I've been posting here for about a week, I guess, so an introduction is due. Also, I've read all the posts from today so I have to do something else to occupy myself.


I'm 21, married (early, I know), studying computational mathematics. Other details are in my flair.


When I was 4 my parents got divorced, due to my mom's drinking, but somehow she ended up getting awarded custody of my 4 siblings and me. I don't know if it was the custody agreement or custody laws in general, but at 12 years old we could decide if we wanted to go live with our father (which we all did). So the bulk of the memories from my childhood are either me feeling hungry or from one of my siblings leaving me. I was the youngest, so for 8 years, every two years, I felt like I was being abandoned.


After my two older sisters left, my mother turned on me, I don't know why me specifically. She stopped feeding me. She only gave food to my older brother and remaining sister (who are now, both, unfortunately obese). This is obviously where my horrible relationship with food began, I would "steal" food from the kitchen whenever she was passed out from drinking, and I would hoard it in my room. Slices or bread, pieces of fruit, chunks of cheese, even a bottle of ketchup at one point. Of course when she found out, she would hit me, make me clean it up, throwing it away instead of eating it. I would fish it out of the trash later.


When my younger sister and I were the last two remaining, my dad (this is speculation, we never talk about it) reopened the custody case to get my sister and me taken away from my mother at one time. He succeeded, I didn't have to spend those last two years alone. I never told my dad what was happening, they always assumed I just ate less because I preferred it. My brother eventually lost the weight, but my third oldest sister is still obese with signs of pre-diabetes.


I lived normally since then, my stepmother and I didn't get along, but that was simply due to different personality types. She's a great woman who I respect, the only strong female figure I really have in my life. My dad is a great person, and we have a great relationship My mother in law is also a great lady, but more of a friend than a role model. I met my husband four years ago, we got married last September, I moved to Ireland when he got a job here and study here in Ireland now. He's 23.


On the outside, I feel like I dealt with it well. I internalized the anger, sadness, and depression over the past several years and recently it's just faded away - and I think I'm happy? I never talk about what happened to me as a child, because the physical and mental abuse wasn't as nearly as bad as other stories I've heard. In the end, I ended up with a loving family who cares about me and wants me to succeed.

I still restrict because it helps me feel in control, and I fear getting fat like my poor sister. I don't particularly like eating either, it just fills me with negative emotions. I prefer just drinking tea and coffee.

[Help] I somehow got roped into a pi day potluck
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 08:13:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ttb4/i_somehow_got_roped_into_a_pi_day_potluck/
---
Everyone is going to be serving pies. I cannot get out of it. What do I do?

[Intro] Introduction and Needing Advice
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Thu Mar 10 06:31:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49tf2s/introduction_and_needing_advice/
---
I've been lurking here for a good 6 months now and have only commented here and there. Today I planned on restricting heavily (something I struggle with) and felt maybe an introduction along with an invitation for any insight into how to make this easier would be welcomed. First a little background on myself. Sorry if I ramble, but it feels so good to let this all out without a filter for once...

I'm 28 and have struggled with my relationship with food since I was 13. In high school and throughout my teens I was overweight. Never obese, but I was most certainly chubby. My father seemed to show affection towards me and judge me based on how much I weighed. He's probably the reason why I have such a bad relationship with foods since he'd not let me have certain privileges or show his approval unless I met his standards, be it a specific weight or overall aesthetics. That being said my dad has told me he thought I was a little bitch for my teens... thankfully I've cut him out of my life and no longer have to deal with his toxic behavior. My mom constantly compares myself to hear in a way that makes me feel guilty for any achievements I accomplish with my weight. My grandma who lives with us back home shames me for my binges despite them being recent or not to friends, other family, and even boyfriends. Things have been better since I've moved out.

I have issues with binging/emotional/stress eating, body dysmorphia (according to the few friends I've opened up to), diuretics/senna tabs, but never had the heart to purge despite my best efforts. I'd go through cycles of binge/restrict/giving up/repeat. They still flare up years later. Once I hit 20 I kept restricting and staying active socially or walking everywhere I could, to the point where I had lost 50lbs. My relationship with food was still a struggle, but I would consume myself with work and end up only having coffee, a bagel (sometimes half), and a piece of grilled chicken with a little mozzarella and some tomato sauce everyday. Sometimes I'd forget to even have that chicken for dinner and just pass out after 12 hours straight managing a busy pharmacy.

At that point, I was around a 19 bmi and I finally felt comfortable in my own skin. I was proud to be a walking middle finger to my dad or anyone who said I was fat. Proud to have the self control to look as great as I felt. I remember going to a party with a friend at a college in my city where I knew no one else and felt more confident than I ever had. I tied my shirt up like a belly shirt with shorts that showed my hip bones. Drunk girls came up to me and said how pretty and thin I was. Guys flirted with me left and right. My friend and I (being that we were both not from the college, had the same name, and were both attractive) were like the belles of the ball. I'd overhear conversations raving about us. That was one of my happiest memories.

Then I turned 25 and my metabolism changed drastically. I can't tolerate being hungry anymore. I used to revel in it, but now I get angry and/or can't focus. Considering I'm trying to get through a doctorate program it's a struggle. I can't just restrict anymore, I need to exercise at least 3-5 times weekly. If I fall off the wagon my body isn't as forgiving anymore. I gained back 15 lbs since when I felt my best. Part of me loves having curves again, but seeing my bones made me feel so proud.

I'm currently around a 21 bmi. It's not bad, but I'm such a perfectionist that I feel like a failure for not being my best everyday. I used to restrict to 800 cals a day and fast at least 1 day a week. My goals have shifted because I've gotten involved in a wrestling league (think WWE with outrageous costumes/personas). I used to idolize Audrey Hephburn and her frail and feminine physique. I still do, but considering my new obligations I look more towards skinny fit as my goal. I want to be able to fireman lift a girl over my head and drop her down in a controlled manner, but lean enough to have a 23 inch waist. The tiny costumes that I've made for myself have helped to keep me motivated-- I eat almost entirely clean, cook for myself, and workout for 2 hours 3-5 times a week, but I get stressed from school and end up downing a pint of Ben and Jerry's once a week or more as a temporary escape. Then I punish myself with taking senna tabs until I feel empty again. I try to fast, but with the amount of exercise I do and the way my body reacts I just don't know how to push through. I want to be my version of perfect. I want people to look at me and think, "What's her secret?" (A girl from CVS asked me that about my diet a couple of months ago in front of my bf and I was on cloud 9 all day). I want my boyfriend to look at me and not be able to comprehend how he got so lucky. Most of all, I want to look at myself and not be disappointed in what's looking back. I want to feel tiny, petite, extra small, empty, and in control.

Is there anyone who is in their mid 20s or older that deals with not being able to tolerate not eating as much as they used to that has advice for how to get past that? Does anyone have advice for how to deal with the urge to stress eat when school gets real intense? Do EC stacks really make a difference vs the dangers it may have in regards to heart health? It's the day before I go away on a spring break trip with my bf and his band mates and I want to look my best. I want to feel confident enough to wear tight dresses when we go out and make my bf feel like the luckiest guy in the room.

My best friend says I'm crazy for the things I put my body through, or worse the way I beat myself up over how I see myself in the mirror. I broke down to my boyfriend about it earlier in the year as a way to open up, told him how bad my restricting if I wasn't so weak... he calls that weakness common sense. He's more supportive than anyone, but I try not to let that part of me show. I want him to see me as stronger than I really am. I know he loves me for who I am as a person, for the things I've accomplished due to perseverance in the face of adversity, for my heart, my mind, but also my body. A tiny fit body shows hard work and that you care enough in yourself to put in that much effort. But I can't let him see the struggle behind getting there.

It has helped so much to go on this sub and read rants or goal posts that are so similar to what goes on in my head. It helps me feel like I'm not alone in this life-long struggle. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'm sorry for such a long post, but I keep so much bottled up inside. I'm realizing it's healthier if I let some crazy out on the internet now and again.

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 10 05:02:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49t5mf/weekly_emotional_support_march_10_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Taller girls...
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 04:34:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49t34s/thinspo_taller_girls/
---
So I found my old proana blog from a while ago and apparently I'd gotten fed up with all the girls in thinspo pictures clearly being shorter than me. So I made a post with pictures from girls who claimed to be 5'7'' or taller and I thought you guys might appreciate this [tiny throwback album :)](http://imgur.com/a/0qV4e).

[Rant/Rave] Well fuck this
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 10 01:34:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49snvb/well_fuck_this/
---
Last night I made a post about how I was fine with what I look like right now.
Just took a picture on timer and oh, about to cry in a little corner.

[Tip] Craveing chocolate chip cookies?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 23:53:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49sei5/craveing_chocolate_chip_cookies/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Low cal salad dressing that doesn't take like ew?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 23:42:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49sdhs/low_cal_salad_dressing_that_doesnt_take_like_ew/
---
I am a major ranch fiend but that shit is crazy high cal. What do you eat on your salad?

[Discussion] What does it mean to have an eating disorder and to you? Does it usually matter?
/u/amidala12
Created: Wed Mar 9 23:33:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49sckt/what_does_it_mean_to_have_an_eating_disorder_and/
---
Remembered a really old post where someone was complaining that a lot of people on here just want to be thin and don't have eating disorders. I know there are medical characteristics defining eating disorders, but I just want to know what you guys think? I for instance have done many things that I've hidden from family and friends and some may consider that disordered behavior, but I honestly don't think there is anything mentally damaging causing me to want to be this thin, it's what I want for myself....what do you think? Does it even matter in most cases?

[Rant/Rave] So... Not bingeing didn't work
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 21:07:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rvsh/so_not_bingeing_didnt_work/
---
So this morning I didn't make my coffee at home so I had to bring money to campus. One of my strategies to not binge is to not bring money to temptation but when I got my coffee I bought a muffin as well... 440 calories worth. I thought it was okay because I went to the gym to work it off.

All day I was thinking about this stupid muffin and as soon as I got home I ate the freaking house!

Great only day 9 of 31 and I have already failed

[Rant/Rave] I just wanted to say I messed up bad.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 21:07:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rvri/i_just_wanted_to_say_i_messed_up_bad/
---
I ate under 1200 including alcohol yesterday. Just ate 2785 calories total today. What the fuck is up with me. Even if i exercised a tiny bit. That is a fucking huge binge. Fuck you peanut butter. I rarely have gotten THAT FUCKING HIGH....i purged some of the dinner I also pigged on but I doubt that did shit.



[Thinspo] [x-posted to /r/TrueThinspo] Short Girls (album)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 19:57:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rmof/xposted_to_rtruethinspo_short_girls_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/NvQfs

[Discussion] Fruit + Liquid Fast! Join me!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 19:57:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rmo6/fruit_liquid_fast_join_me/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Being ok with my binge today
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 19:05:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rfis/being_ok_with_my_binge_today/
---
I know im in a binge/restrict cycle. I had a terrible binging week last week and I had a 48 hour fast. Then today, I had almost 1900 calories worth of food. And I was getting so mad with myself until I realized that my 48 hour fast provided me with a 4300 calorie loss. Not only that, but my fitbit is calculating that my TDEE for today will be well over 2100 calories. So even with a safe estimation, I wont have actually gained anything. I've started a 60 hour fast today (for me, it started March 9th 20:15, ending March 12th 8:15) during which I'll drop about 5000 calories and this week will be negative 7000, *even including my binge*. I spiralled out of control and got that terrible, awful feeling of helplessly eating and not paying attention to it, but in the end, **it's ok**

[Intro] newbie here :)
/u/eekcoffee [5'6.5'' | 139lbs | 22.1 | -17 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 18:09:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49r7in/newbie_here/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Am I oversensitive because of ED or are people insensitive.....
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 18:06:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49r73p/am_i_oversensitive_because_of_ed_or_are_people/
---
I'm on a road trip (20+ hour drive with just me and my boyfriend) and we are nearing the end so we are both a bit on edge. So I may just be crabby and over dramatic about what just happened but I'm fuming. I've been so good at restricting and sticking to low quantities of my "safe foods" that I packed this whole time. My boyfriend has gotten fast food a few times and heavily unhealthy stacks at rest stops whereas I've only gotten black coffee, diet soda (once) and ate my own packed food. I'm hitting a wall of exhaustion from driving so I decided to get kit Kat minis from a rest stop (tiny bag of them). I didn't hold it against myself and it wasn't in a binge failure frenzy. I just know sugar will pick me up for this last stretch of road. I'm opened them in the store and started eating them and while he made food and fiddled with the cooler in the car, I almost finished them. So I offered him the bag saying, "want one? I'm about to finish them." And he replied with a shocked look, "finish them?! Damn that was fast." ......would your blood boil too? Idk, am I being emotional because I'm exhausted or is that rude to say?

Thanks.

[Thinspo] This is brilliant.
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 16:54:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49qwtj/this_is_brilliant/
---
https://imgur.com/m4QM9I1

[Help] I want to get sick!
/u/kly_0301 [5'2" | 132 | 24.14 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 15:46:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49qma4/i_want_to_get_sick/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Colorful Thinspo + Quotes + Cute Animal Album
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 9 14:04:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49q5oo/colorful_thinspo_quotes_cute_animal_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/HYYEw

[Help] So you know
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Mar 9 13:51:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49q3ig/so_you_know/
---
It's so weird. I'm pretty OK with what I look like right now, I'm still obsessed with what the scale says. How many kcal should I eat to slowly loose more? I'm 5"8 with a BMI of 19.7

It's weird, I thought I'd never reach this point. Maybe it's just for a few days. I don't know.

[Tip] Favorite new low-cal snack
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 13:49:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49q34w/favorite_new_lowcal_snack/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] The day you wear those pants they only had in a size way too small...
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Wed Mar 9 13:42:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49q1rd/the_day_you_wear_those_pants_they_only_had_in_a/
---
And you put them on an wear them for the first time. Maybe it's the xanax/primatine talking, but today is a win. I bought these pants in February 2013 it took 3 years. Size 14 to size 11 (12 to 10 and I'm now 11/9 vanity). Only 2 more to size 7 at 135lbs. Size 5 at 125 to UGW 118 and noting but amazing boss clothes. I will throw out everything and buy all new clothes when I get there.

Who else won today and how did it happen?

[Rant/Rave] I'm not hungry!
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 9 13:11:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49pvwu/im_not_hungry/
---
Does anyone else have days where they just aren't hungry? Like I have no appetite today, which is perfect, because that's just what I need to break my binge and purge cycle!

Usually restricting is hard (obviously) but some days it just takes no effort at all, and those are my favourite days.

Food just sounds so *gross* right now. I'm usually always craving something but right now I probably wouldn't even be able to swallow a cracker :D

I'm not sure what causes it, but sometimes this happens, and I *love it*

I'm so getting back on track.

*Hell yes*

[Rant/Rave] HOLY SHIT + new thinspo album
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 12:28:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49pnt0/holy_shit_new_thinspo_album/
---
Oh my god. Honestly, I never thought that I would EVER receive reddit gold from ANYONE. It means the world to me that something I posted helped someone enough to actually fucking give it gold. I love all of you, so I made yet another album<3 (especially for /u/ifuckpineapples because she said that she likes the motivational quotes)

[Thinspo + Quotes 1] (http://imgur.com/a/fnqI9)

[My original gilded post] (http://imgur.com/a/H26nV)

Love you all so much x

[Help] Freaking out about what to eat for lunch
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 12:17:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49plxa/freaking_out_about_what_to_eat_for_lunch/
---
Sorry no flair, I'm on mobile right now but I'll update it as soon as I can!

I'm at an appointment right now planning all my meals for today and I'm not really sure if this is the right place to post this but I don't have any friends I can ask so here I am. I am having some SERIOUS anxiety about whether I should pick up a salad or eat at the coffeeshop I'm going to. Obviously salad is not the worst thing I could eat (I wish I could just not eat at all but I know I'll binge later if I don't) but it's way more expensive and I'm going to the coffeeshop after anyways. I'm nervous if I pick coffeeshop it'll just be like breads and stuff but if I could find something small and not so carby I feel like calorie wise it wouldn't be much different than a salad and it would be more convenient and way cheaper. I feel really stupid for not being able to make a decision about this but it feels like it matters SO MUCH because I've just been a total fuckup lately with restricting and I don't want to blow it for the millionth time. Ugh

Sorry this is the dumbest post of all time but I hope some of you understand!

[Help] Pseudoephedrine for an EC stack?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 12:12:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49pl2t/pseudoephedrine_for_an_ec_stack/
---
I tried searching the subreddit for info on this but there isn't much, and a Google search just ended up confusing me more.

I went to buy bronkaide to start an EC stack today. However the pharmacy I went to didn't have it or anything with ephedrine on the label. They did have a store brand decongestant with 30mg of pseudoephedrine per tablet, which was a card I had to bring to the pharmacy to get a box of.

Will this still work for an EC stack? The few answers I found online varied from "yes it's the same" to "didn't work at all for me". Should I try anyways?

Second, how much should I take? Most people say to take half a dose of bronkaide, but these pills are tiny (30mg each like I mentioned) and the directions say to take two. Would one tablet with caffeine tomorrow be enough?

Any help is appreciated!

[Discussion] Does anyone else's ED kill their sex life?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 11:59:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49piwh/does_anyone_elses_ed_kill_their_sex_life/
---
I'm on a posting rampage, please excuse me! So I'm 23 and used to have a very high sex drive when my bf and I were first together (met when I was 21). It's been slowly dwindling down since I've gained weight because I'm self-conscious about how I look even though I know he loves me just the way I am. I don't like being naked around him anymore and I don't have any desire for sex. I was also raped when I was 19 and had some flashbacks/triggers from that that make me feel like I want to boil myself and not be around anyone or anything. I feel bad because his libido has always been high since I took his virginity, and that he has needs. He is very supportive about me not wanting to do it, and he doesn't want me to force myself to do things for him. It's nice and all, but I can tell he still resents it a little bit and we make jokes about not having sex ever. I want my relationship to be successful, and I feel I will be a lot better once I lose some weight so I can feel better about myself and have a happier life with him. Does anyone else have this problem?

[Help] Birthday dinner: Say 'fuck it' and binge, or try to restrict?
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 11:19:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49pcaz/birthday_dinner_say_fuck_it_and_binge_or_try_to/
---
My birthday's in a week, and I don't know what to do. Birthday dinners are a treat for the whole family, not just the person whose birthday it is, so if I don't do anything it'll be rude since I'd be taking something away from my sisters.

I'm happy with where I'm at right now with my body, and I only keep restricting because it's mentally comforting, so I'm try not to look at this from a weight loss perspective.

I'm debating whether or not to go somewhere like the Cheesecake Factory and let myself binge on a 3,000+ cal dinner of cheeseburger, fries and cake (my favorite from when I was younger and had BED) and know I can get back on track within a week if I exercise and restrict a little harder.

Or I could go to a place (I won't name it since it's a very local chain and would give away my location, but it has nutrition info online) that has actually reasonable portions, and I could fit a normal-looking dinner into a regular day's calorie limit. This is the obvious choice, but I'm still losing fairly quickly despite trying to maintain, and I'm afraid if I don't 'sabotage' myself once in a while I'll lose too quickly and end up in the hospital. But I also sometimes think that's old BED me trying to trick me into giving up and gettiing fat again, and then I think *those* thoughts are just anorexic me trying to starve me to death, ad nauseum.

It's literally like having the devil and angel on my shoulders telling me what to do, I just can't tell which is which! Any advice would be incredibly helpful, but just knowing someone else has gone through something similar would be great.

Thank you so much, I love you all <3!

[Discussion] Keto
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 10:53:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49p81t/keto/
---
Is anyone else doing keto? I'm trying out again until we leave on vacation next month and this is harder than I remember.

Plus I had a meltdown in the mall because I'm too fat for everything. I have no idea what to wear and my husband is not helping. I'm so tired of hating myself. I just need to drop this weight so it can stop.

[Rant/Rave] Overwhelmed
/u/gossamerwings_ [5'6" | 155 | 25.05 | -14 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 10:27:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49p3kz/overwhelmed/
---
I feel like I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. In life, I mean. I feel like everything is out of control: school, my personal life, and my body. I can't STAND looking at myself anymore. I feel like I just want to shrivel up and go away somewhere.

[Help] constantly constipated
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 124.5 | 21.65 | F | 27y]
Created: Wed Mar 9 10:21:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49p2q9/constantly_constipated/
---
This is a semi rant/semi asking for help post.

I changed my diet pretty heavily 2 weeks ago. Stopped eating pasta, bread, rice. Instead I'm drinking 2 smoothies a day and something solid (usually meat or dairy). I average 900cals over the week. I add chia seeds, veggies and fruit to my water based smoothies.

I haven't been able to go #2 for days. My weight has stagnated at 132 for days now and it's hell. I used to abuse laxatives pretty heavily so I try to stay natural but nothing is working so far.

I just tried [Agiolax](https://www.google.ch/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjar8HJjbTLAhWIaA8KHdV4B7EQFggdMAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flordis.com.au%2Fproduct%2Fagiolax&usg=AFQjCNHpUrFTXpkKgwMxwHT5dsXKCz746w&sig2=P1PyT-5MQ9e8Qh4QejSAug) and now I'm so bloated, holy hell, I'm about to cry. My bf is coming over in 2 hours and my belly looks about 7 or 8 months pregnant.

Has anyone ever tried a fiber laxative? Or do you have some recommendations for laxatives? I live in Switzerland/Europe so not sure if I have access to the same stuff as you do but usually chemical compounds are universal, just resold under different names.


[Rant/Rave] Health Food Store find, worth trying!
/u/scribblescrabblerag3 [5'1| 102 lbs| 20.13 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 09:54:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49oy4m/health_food_store_find_worth_trying/
---
So I bought a Virgil's Zero Cream Soda in a glass bottle when I was wandering around a health food store and it is HEAVEN.

Glass bottle diet soda ftw. I'm fasting right now and really thirsty and water hasn't been doing much. /: So I got Emergen-C Electro Mix too, I heard someone rave about it a while ago on here.

There's a lot of stuff in that tiny store. I finally have found a place that sells a good variety of Yogi tea. :D

Any good buys anyone would like to share?

[Rant/Rave] Massage Last Night/Why The FUCK Can't I Calm Down
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 09:46:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49owv3/massage_last_nightwhy_the_fuck_cant_i_calm_down/
---
I got see a chiropractor twice a month for back issues I've had forever. They have a massage clinic too and initially got an intro offer for two sessions and then I bought a 4 pack. I had my first of four last night since I've been triggered to basically start up my ED again. All I could think about was that she was rubbing my fat all over and how it needs to go. It was relaxing and she did a great job but the whole time I was self-conscious and having anxiety about everything. I am chronically unable to relax, partially due to my bi-polar and anxiety, but I have worked 2 jobs for the last 4 years because I can't say NO to people and also because I am unable to allow myself to relax and take care of myself. One of my jobs ends on the 18th, so I can look forward to finding time for myself and my condo and bf and cats then. Sorry for the rant, I was just wondering if anyone else gets anxiety like this when they get a massage.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 9 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49op2j/daily_food_diary_march_09_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 09, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Thinspo] Anti-Thinspo
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 08:22:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49oidw/antithinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/zPd7V

[Thinspo] Thinspo: Acacia Brinley (Don't really know who she is, but she's body goals omg)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 08:16:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ohi4/thinspo_acacia_brinley_dont_really_know_who_she/
---
http://imgur.com/a/M581k

[Thinspo] Thinspo + Anti Binge 2 - because you guys liked my first one <3
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 08:12:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ogtr/thinspo_anti_binge_2_because_you_guys_liked_my/
---
http://imgur.com/a/H26nV

[Rant/Rave] Binged at work today, got called out by a colleague
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.2 kg (95 lbs) | last binged 30th March]
Created: Wed Mar 9 07:20:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49o8ns/binged_at_work_today_got_called_out_by_a_colleague/
---
I work at a great office with endless snacks. Was supposed to restrict today but cake was served and was triggered into bingeing, so I kept going back to the pantry for fresh cookies.

This guy I work with was all like "eyyyyy you're really gunning those cookies huh, thought you were all for healthy eating" (I usually eat salads at work)

 


It was a total wake up call and I feel so fucking embarrassed and I came home and binged even more.

Now I have thoughts about initiating a fast but I know it's just going to be another vicious cycle of fast/binge/restrict/binge again. I feel a little fragile, not totally broken because today's binge wasn't my usual level of epic fuckitude, but it's moments like these that make me think of recovery and how fucked it is that I don't even know if I want it or not.

 

I feel like a girl who's in an abusive relationship with a guy with an amazing smile, who remembers what you wore on your first date and can perfectly imitate your laugh. But at the same time he's cagey about his phone and the last time you secretly read his messages you saw him wish That Bombshell Katie goodnight and told her that he'll see her in his dreams. When you're stressed out and busy as fuck he silently does a grocery run and makes dinner without being asked, but also when you gain a few pounds he pokes you in the belly and calls you his squishy.

 

I'm sorry if this has gone onto a crazy tangent but this is the first time my ED has really manifested itself like a person...a really toxic person. BED has been decent enough to let me function, just barely, just enough to make me think I'm happy, and then these things happen that shake me up and make me realize what a phony I am.

The struggle is real. The struggle between wanting to be thin and wanting to be happy. Do we want both? What if we had to choose one? Could we really? I don't know if I can.

[Discussion] Who wants to start with me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 07:14:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49o7tp/who_wants_to_start_with_me/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] I was reminded by a comment on here of how much I loved Grimes (aka Claire Boucher) and her aesthetic, so I put together a little thinspo album
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 06:10:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49nzbd/i_was_reminded_by_a_comment_on_here_of_how_much_i/
---
http://imgur.com/a/bQeqF

[Help] Help me not binge today!
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 05:33:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49nur9/help_me_not_binge_today/
---
I have to get a lot of homework done so I'll be at home for most of the day. And all I can think about is food. I just successfully avoided a binge by going for a walk and after that I had a light lunch (~54cal). I really want to complete no binge March, so I could really use your support. Thanks so much <3

[Help] Eating candy at work
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Mar 9 02:40:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ne4o/eating_candy_at_work/
---
There's always TONS of free candy at work and I can never stop myself. Ideas?

[Rant/Rave] Clothing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 02:15:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49nbw6/clothing/
---
Sorry for posting so much lately, but I've been feeling very lost. And I'd like to talk about clothing when it comes to EDs.

Ever since I can remember, I've been super fussy about clothing. I can never find something I like that I will wear for more than about 3 months. I buy something, I love it, I wear it about 10 times and then I learn to hate how I look in it, and how fat it makes me feel. I always compare myself to girls who dress better and look thinner. I can never find a style that suits me. At the moment I love mom jeans and soft, long sleeved shirts because they dont attract attention to my body shape, and are gender-neutral. I feel like people stare at me because I dress comfortably, and maybe that makes me look like a bit of a dork. And it's not just how I look; I'm so worried that that they don't properly reflect who I am as a person.

I can't go clothes shopping in person anymore, I buy most of my clothes online and when I hate them on me, I sell them on eBay.

PLEASE tell me some of you are like this? I wish I could wear pajamas out in public because they are always so oversized and roomy..

[Rant/Rave] Omgggg im so happy but i cant really tell anyone IRL
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 23:46:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49mxkq/omgggg_im_so_happy_but_i_cant_really_tell_anyone/
---
Guys/gals/y'all! Sorry im mobile so no flare but omgggg my scale was fluctuating between 124.8lbs and 125.5lbs but EITHER FUCKING WAY... Oh MY Gawd. i successfully got high last night without binging, ive been doing so well at not binging which means no purging (yay!!!!) Aaannnddd that tiny sliver of light between the top of my thighs is growing! (Fuckmylifeyasss) im so happy and excited and i can't wait.

Also ive been watching Grimes music videos on repeat and i want to be her! Ughhh.

[Rant/Rave] Thank you for your support yesterday. I failed, but it's not all bad.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 21:55:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49miom/thank_you_for_your_support_yesterday_i_failed_but/
---
Yesterday I was thinking about binging and purging and posted here. And I got a lot of encouraging and insightful replies, there was many good ideas how I could avoid it. I thank you for those.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to follow that advice. In the afternoon I went to the grocery store and bought about 25 euros worth of food... And got home and started binging. But I felt bad, it wasn't satisfying and I was really disappointed with myself. When I had binged about half of the food, I went to purge. After that I thought that well, I still have a lot of food, I could do it again. But then.... I decided against it! I poured detergent all over the food so I couldn't take it back from the trash(having done that before). It was difficult and I regretted it immediately after I'd done it, but now I'm happy about it. I binged and purged only once, and now my goal is to keep it that way for the rest of the week.

Thank you again for your advice yesterday, I will need it later this week I'm sure.

[Discussion] Cotton ball diet??
/u/Wishbones_Ana [5'6 | 169.8 | | 10.2 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 21:33:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49mfag/cotton_ball_diet/
---
Alright, I realize this is regarded as one of the MOST dangerous diets out there.



Cotton can get stuck in your intestines causing blockages that need to be surgically removed.

Cotton can lacerate your intestines.

You can inadvertently digest chemicals from inorganic cotton consumption.

Your organs can ultimately shut down and you will die.



THAT BEING SAID I am not posting to discuss the dangers of this diet.

I am fully and intensely curious to hear experiences of anyone who has or who knows someone who has actually tried this diet?



What is it really like?

Did it work?

What consequences did you/them experience??



Please share ANY stories/experiences you have about the cotton ball diet for this genuinely curious girl.



Thanks

[Rant/Rave] Fever munchies and Gatorade
/u/fantomlvr [5' 6" | 185.6 | 30.08 | -24.8 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 20:29:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49m6tn/fever_munchies_and_gatorade/
---
Ugh, ended up with a hell of a fever yesterday (and part of today) and I've just been eating like crazy because I feel so weak from being sick. I haven't even been counting calories because I'm so scared. Plus, my lovely boyfriend bought me a metric shit ton of sports drinks to stay hydrated and those are anywhere from 150 to 450 cals a bottle (I honestly do adore him, but why can't he just let me turn into a shriveled up raisin instead???).

I'm just frustrated and want to cry because I don't feel good and the shit I've been putting in my body is making me feel even worse.

Any tips for what I can do to 1) get rid of the weakness from the fever and 2) lose whatever I may gain from this fever binge?

[Rant/Rave] Binge so hard mfers wanna find me
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 19:12:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lvpa/binge_so_hard_mfers_wanna_find_me/
---
No but seriously I'm 1000% done with myself. Yesterday started out totally fine, soup for breakfast with pickled veg and anchovies....then it got to be too much. My mom made cabbage with sausages and I ate 3/4 of a huge pot of it, a mug cake with peanut butter and chocolate chips, more anchovies, like 3oz of truffle cheese, more pickled veg, rice with pesto and parmesan and I honestly feel like I'm forgetting something but holy shit. I was stuffed AND YET I still kept eating...I didn't hit my water goal, but my stomach was distended and I haven't been able to purge any of it. That was yesterday, so all the calories are probably already in my system. I went on a walk today (about 3 mi) and I'm gonna do some body weight exercises, but nothing inside me seems to be moving. Plus, like an idiot, after I went grocery shopping I went to chipotle and ate like a whole bag of tortilla chips. I'm drinking more water as we speak and chugging black coffee (added bonus, it's cold out so that's keeping me warm), but I feel so fucking sick and mad at myself like where the hell is my self-control? What the fuck...and I have a date this week and I really like this guy and he saw me naked while I was fasting....I'm so much fatter now and I'm really afraid he's gonna absolutely hate me (which is so dumb, he says he loves my personality, and like it feels so fucking antifeminist for me to be like "I wanna get skinny so a guy will like me!!" but here the fuck I am). I'm so...I'm just mad idk /endrant

[Discussion] Songs you listen when you feel down?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 18:22:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49locs/songs_you_listen_when_you_feel_down/
---
Whenever I'm feeling sad or angsty, I turn on some music that expresses how I feel or have slow tunes to them. Do you guys have any favorites to help cheer you up or express yourself?

[Help] have I changed, or has the thinspo, or have the goalposts...
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 18:07:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lm3s/have_i_changed_or_has_the_thinspo_or_have_the/
---
Don't know what to think anymore. Conventional thinspo and I just think, "well, I kinda almost look like that. And I definitely have BDD. So I'm probably smaller." Bonespo doesn't look massively attractive to me. IDK! I don't know what I want out of this anymore.


Everyone keeps nagging me for being too small and trying to force food on me, which is a lovely ego boost, but keeps smacking me in to binging and purging because it means I eat outside of the very limited number/things that I am comfortable eating. In a way I wish I could open that up again - because a kiwi or a stalk of celery or heck a bag of spinach isn't going to kill me, it just doesn't feel "safe". My "safe" list has gotten so small and restrictive that I've spent more time the past few days wandering around supermarkets crying because they don't have the right whatever, than I have doing anything else.

What do I want?? I don't think I can look into treatment because I don't want to open up a huge can of emotional worms this far into my degree. Do I just ignore other people and keep forging my own path? Eating my comfy food? Sometimes I feel like I am small enough and don't even have any more weight to lose - sometimes I feel like I am too small and gross looking. I know my scales overestimate by 4kg (8.8lbs) or so I've been told, but NOW even if I stick by the numbers my stupid scales from the 70's give me, I am pretty underweight. But how can I maintain? Maintaining just seems to spin me off on b/p sessions.

Jesus good god help me. Should I go to a doctor? Should I just keep going until I hit "goals" (lol, what's that) and then reassess? Fuck my need for pre-planning everything

[Rant/Rave] I hate myself.
/u/beadsofjade [5'4 | nah | 24 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 17:57:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lkr3/i_hate_myself/
---
Apologies for the whiny mess of a post you're about to read but god, I can't stand myself.

I've been over my calorie limit every single day for weeks. Not enough to label any of the episodes as a binge, but I've been trying to restrict to 500 a day and I've mostly been doing at least 1000 a day. Like what is wrong with me? I'm trying to lose weight. I'm a fat whale. I need to be smaller but for some reason I keep fucking messing up.

And I feel like I'm gaining weight. I don't have a scale so I don't know for sure, but I just feel like I am and I fucking hate it.

I'm about to do crunches for the next hour until my abs hurt so bad that I can't stand it, chug a bunch of water, smoke a cigarette, and then go to bed.

I can't stand myself right now. I have to change. I absolutely have to.

[Rant/Rave] I blame my phone!
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 17:40:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lia2/i_blame_my_phone/
---
I just realized ever since my phone cracked and stopped working I've been binging every day and haven't been in control of anything in my life. I believe the reason behind my recent failures is because I haven't had my phone where I keep everything, my thinspo, calorie counter/tracker, easy access to this sub and tumblr, and just everything else that keeps my in control. Apart from that there isn't a specific date I'm striving towards like last time. This just shows how weak I am. When in reality it's all my fault and not my phone's. I was the one that dropped it and I'm the one who is dependent of it.
How do I even get back on track and fix my thoughts... I feel like I've fallen into a hole and I can't get out of it. I need to fix my phone asap.

*Edit: spelling

[Rant/Rave] Successfully made myself feel sick by watching a food documentary
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 17:38:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lhwt/successfully_made_myself_feel_sick_by_watching_a/
---
I had the urge to be disgusted with myself tonight in order to make myself not want to binge. So I watched Fed Up on netflix. I dont know if anyone here has seen the documentary before, but I got two things out of it.

One, the first half of the movie, filled with shots of obese guts and enormous calorie dense meals being scarfed down by overweight people, successfully made me feel sick and no longer hungry. I dont want to have any food near me now, oh my god.

Second, the rest of the movie was so full of fatlogic and nutritional misinformation that i felt nearly enraged. how could they make a movie to enlighten people on the obesity epidemic and say "a calorie isnt a calorie, its sugar that making people fat, not calories! People work out and are still fat sometimes, its not their fault! sweeteners are actually worse than sugar!"

its. so. wrong! its clear they didnt want to talk about weightloss, just food companies adding sugar to things. Its so packed with fatlogic its making my head spin. In any case, I sincerely dont recommend watching this movie unless you want to make yourself lose your appetite, whether its from disgust or anger.

[Rant/Rave] Silver Linings
/u/p7entifull [63"| 100|17.7 | -17| F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 17:20:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lfcm/silver_linings/
---
Hello my beautiful friends. I'm just venting a little bit. It's been a hell of a couple weeks.

My distorted views on food had always been a cause of serious strain between my long term boyfriend and I. He had a hard time sympathizing with the very limited knowledge he had my eating habits and I felt like he was mocking some serious issues I had most of the time. This led to some serious blow outs.

He left me two weeks ago. I am sad I guess, losing a long term relationship is never easy or comfortable. Now I realize how free I feel. I can focus on me, and what makes me feel good, without judgement.

I can't update my flair because I'm on mobile, but since I left our old apartment and moved out on my own, I have hit a new goal and reached 100lb flat. I haven't binged once. I don't feel like I have to hide anything.

And even beyond eating issues, I can listen to the music I want and make my house a place that feels like a sanctuary to me. I had almost forgotten what that was like!

So sometimes, with the bad stuff, there's lots of good that comes too. I hope everybody is doing well, and if you're going through a hard time, I'm extending an internet hug.

You guys are amazing. Thank you.

[Help] Insane hunger pangs?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Tue Mar 8 16:46:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lafk/insane_hunger_pangs/
---
Today is I think my 5th day of eating ~800 cals and I woke up today with really intense hunger pangs that come and go. It started yesterday. I drink water and take ec stacks and pace my food around the day, and they hurt so bad. Will they go away with time? I've fasted for two days last month and I never got these...

[Thinspo] Dont give up
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 15:21:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kxa0/dont_give_up/
---
http://i.imgur.com/QlgmMog.jpg

[Intro] Intro :)
/u/bulkat [5'5" | CW: 127.4 | BMI: 21.3 | - 10lbs. | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 15:15:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kw9c/intro/
---
Hello everyone, I'm a very long time lurker and first time poster in this subreddit. This year I decided to finally acknowledge my drug and alcohol addiction and commit to a recovery program so that I can put myself on a path to a successful future, which required me to move back in with my parents and come home from college for the semester. The adjustment has been quite difficult, but one of the many positive benefits I've noticed is that I have been losing weight without much difficulty. After plateauing at my current weight of 127.4 for the past week or so, I decided to start an EC stack today on top of diet and exercise to help me shed the last 15ish pounds to reach my goal weight, although I haven't really decided what that is yet. Anyway, sorry that this post is a bit boring, I just wanted to connect with this group of awesome people to help keep myself accountable and to give and receive support from like minded people who understand. Thanks guys!

[Help] Constantly hungry when on antidepressant - help me!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 8 15:12:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kvmv/constantly_hungry_when_on_antidepressant_help_me/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:56:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kt21/what_the_fuck_am_i_doing/
---
I've been training a girl at work so I've had no privacy to interact on this sub. I miss you guys. I've been slacking *so fucking hard.* It's incredible. I'm letting myself slip. I am becoming complacent and I just don't care. Where is my motivation? I worked so hard to lose this weight and I'm just eating myself back to where I was. JUST STOP ALREADY. Food controls my life and it's killing me.

[Intro] I made an account just for you guys. [mobile intro]
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:41:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kqhe/i_made_an_account_just_for_you_guys_mobile_intro/
---
I've been lurking here off and on for years and I have been thinking about making an account but I didn't know if anyone would want to hear me. I didn't have anyone else to talk to. My friend who I can usually say things to is in recovery now.

I was doing very well for about a year when I realized that I had gained a heck of a lot of weight and I couldn't stand it anymore so I started dieting and well normal dieting doesn't stay normal with me for very long.

I just got a midterm back and I failed. Now hat would be bad in the first place, but I have already taken this class before. How stupid can I be? I am taking it for a second time and I still fucking failed. I'm such a loser. I still have another year and a half left until I graduate and that is if I pass everything. I don't think I can do it.

Everyday I think about throwing myself off burnside for no good reason. If you don't want to talk to someone -- go to burnside. If you can't find the safety factor-- hey remember burnside? I've never wanted to kill myself before but I just don't want to do this.

I know I'm being a shitty whiny baby you don't have to tell me.

[Rant/Rave] I ruined what could have been a good day
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:10:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kljd/i_ruined_what_could_have_been_a_good_day/
---
I'd been doing so, so well the past week. Until today. I had a massive binge on a 10 hour flight. I ate everything in a four course meal, including dessert, I ate the entire snack tray (cookies, chips, and mars bars) and a half (someone asked if I was okay), and I also ate two burgers as the last meal on the flight.
I feel disgusting, I hate myself, reflux keeps coming up, I feel so hot, and my heart is racing even though I am standing here waiting for my mom to pick me up from the airport. My veins are prominent and my skin is red. I don't know what's going on. Why am I doing this to myself.

Any support is appreciated

[Discussion] What are you happy about today?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:07:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kl18/what_are_you_happy_about_today/
---
I'm feeling hopeful and motivated and disciplined for the first time in a long time today, and wanted to share the love. I haven't binged or purged in three days, I landed a great new client, and I finally omg finally got paid for a huge job I did last year.

Plus, even with a couple weeks of shitty eating today is somehow the day that I HAVE A THIGH GAP, in jeans, even with heels and knees pressed together and tailbone tucked. Tiny and awkward but it's there!

What is going well for you today/this week? Sometimes this crap is so hard and even tiny little positives are worth celebrating.

[Discussion] Anti Thinspo?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kktn/anti_thinspo/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] I haven't binged in two days, and I did it by looking at these pictures. [Thinspo included]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 13:25:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kdqw/i_havent_binged_in_two_days_and_i_did_it_by/
---
http://imgur.com/a/W0KXq

[Discussion] Does anyone else have a strange diet BESIDES restriction?
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 13:15:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kc0v/does_anyone_else_have_a_strange_diet_besides/
---
For instance, I am vegetarian AND keto (eating under 20g of carbs a day) as well as restricting my calorie intake to between 500-800 calories a day. Does anyone else do something similar and want to swap recipes? Or does anyone else have a different strange diet? Do you find this easier or harder to also restrict while doing it? I think it helps me because it eliminates a lot of choices for me, and it also kind of forces me to be more creative in the kitchen which is fun and fives me a more positive experience with food rather than always negative.

[Intro] I am new here and am hoping for a friend or two :)
/u/BetterMeInside [5'6" |236.6 | 38.4 | -3.4 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 13:03:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49k9ya/i_am_new_here_and_am_hoping_for_a_friend_or_two/
---
So, I am 30, a mother of an 11 year old, and have a litany of mental health issues and have been on a ton of meds and rapidly got to the horrid weight of 256. I dropped down to 240 and and now working on restricting to get to a decent weight again. Those meds killed me. They were supposed to help the depression but I just go so fat it only made the depression worse! I am just sick of the rollercoaster! Anyhow, here I am. I just want to be smaller and to feel like a person again.

[Rant/Rave] Gained :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 8 12:32:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49k4em/gained/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Mods deleted my post because I'm not sick enough. Way to encourage me! I am a "recovered" anorexic with bulimic tendencies. Just because I'm "fat" doesn't mean I'm not still struggling and looking for support!
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Mar 8 10:35:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49jjzc/mods_deleted_my_post_because_im_not_sick_enough/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 8 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49j45g/daily_food_diary_march_08_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 08, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Today is March 8th, 8 days into th no binge challenge. So, participants...
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Tue Mar 8 07:36:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49iqqg/today_is_march_8th_8_days_into_th_no_binge/
---
How have you been doing?

I bind once. It was on alcohol and the next day I poo'd for the first time in a week - so I called it a necessary binge. I am down over 3 lbs from the 1st of March and plan on going as low as possible (I'm a total fatty right now looking to loose 30lbs to goal weight, then I'll decide UGW).

For those of you who posted on the original thread (like 35 comments?) Have you binged? Is there anyone else who wants to share their no-bibge record or streak?

[Intro] Intro!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 8 07:01:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ilrf/intro/
---
Hi everyone! Stepping out of the shadows here - been lurking long enough, thought I'd introduce myself because everyone here seems so supportive and friendly and I wanted to contribute :)

Bit about me - I'm type 1 Diabetic (NOT the one associated with obesity - its hereditary; I couldn’t have stopped it if I'd wanted). I usually don’t take my medication so that I essentially pee out all calories and metabolize fat instead of energy which I know sounds great but in reality all my organs are shutting down and my blood is essentially syrup :-/

I was diagnosed with anorexia about 8 years ago, and I switch from restricting to binging to not taking meds.

Anyway I hope I can make some helpful contributions....and maybe some friends who "understand" :)


[Discussion] How many calories do you eat a day? How much do you burn through exercise?
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Mar 8 06:24:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49igjh/how_many_calories_do_you_eat_a_day_how_much_do/
---
[removed]

[Intro] Hey there!
/u/kelbel92
Created: Tue Mar 8 06:07:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49iehk/hey_there/
---
I'm new here, but needed some support with this constant struggle ... I had a bad day at the weekend where I lost my willpower completely and binged on junk food, and I'm struggling with hunger pangs today, which is really unlike me :(

You're all beautiful x

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A March 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 8 05:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49i6sb/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_march_08_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] [Goal] So technically I only lost 0.2 pounds...
/u/finding_zen [5'3 | 135 | 24.58 | -7 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 03:17:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49hw3b/goal_so_technically_i_only_lost_02_pounds/
---
...but I've been going from fasting to binge eating and back and forth all week after being stressed out by a hospital visit. I'm sooo glad I didn't gain any weight, it seriously feels like a miracle. Last time I stepped on the scale last week I was 137.2 lbs without my shoes or a jacket. This week I stepped on with my shoes, a heavy jacket (hurry up, Spring!), with my phone/keys/wallet in my pockets and was only 137.0. Last time I checked, my shoes and jacket with everything were right around three pounds, but I'm not going to update my flair until I actually see a lower number on the scale. I'm still so excited though. Some days it's just the little things :)

[Goal] I unexpectedly realized I have made progress.
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 00:10:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49hd2a/i_unexpectedly_realized_i_have_made_progress/
---
As my flair says I've lost about 25 pounds (minus the water weight I'll gain back), and I have noticed some changes, like my stomach looking slightly flatter. Other people have also said I look different, but I haven't noticed.

Today was the first really warm day in a long while and so I wore shorts instead of yoga pants or jeans. I'm behind on laundry and haven't switched from winter to summer clothes yet, so I only had this pair that was basically skintight on me by the end of last summer. Today? Fit normally. If anything it was a little loose. It surprised the hell out of me.

I will keep going and lose another 15-25, and then have to buy lovely new pretty clothes that I've always wanted to wear but never had the body or confidence to. :)

[Rant/Rave] Those Recipe Videos on FB
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 121.2 lbs | 24.93 | -20.8 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 22:33:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49h0cf/those_recipe_videos_on_fb/
---
I'm sure you've seen them, whether it be Buzzfeed or Tasty or whatever chef keeps coming up with new ideas, they keep popping up on my timeline! And being as weak as I am, I actually watch them until I'm STARVING and can hardly make it through my fast.

Gah damn.

[Tip] Weird but effective craving killer...
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 22:32:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49h06g/weird_but_effective_craving_killer/
---
so this is strange but totally works for me. I will take some [kernel season's](http://www.kernelseasons.com/products/) popcorn seasoning powder (I like white cheddar) and sprinkle about a teaspoon onto a spoon. Then while watching tv or something ill lick a finger, dip it in the powder, and lick again. A teaspoon will last me about 20 minutes. Most of the flavors they have are about 8 calories a teaspoon, and it really does it for me! It's basically the good part of flavored popcorn or chips.... Anyway, just thought I'd share. I find them at walmart usually

[Discussion] What's your favorite inspirational quote?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 21:57:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49gv2k/whats_your_favorite_inspirational_quote/
---
I haven't lost weight at all since Halloween, it's humiliating. Now I'm trying to get back on track, but I'm craving waffles something fierce. What's your favorite mantra or inspirational quote to keep yourself strong?

[Help] 3 days without binging and purging, but I'm afraid I'll do it today.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 21:56:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49guyh/3_days_without_binging_and_purging_but_im_afraid/
---
So I managed to be three days without binging and purging and that's quite an achievement for me. I also have kept my daily calories under 600 and have worked out daily... And my face is just starting to look normal, my jawline is still a bit swollen because I b/ped a lot last week. My flat is clean, I feel great and I'm quite proud of myself.

But still I'm afraid I'll binge and purge today. I have this arrangement where I get a weekly allowance every Tuesday, and I have binged and purged regularly every damn Tuesday because apparently I can't have any money I don't use right away.

But I really wouldn't like to. I don't even crave anything, I don't feel like stuffing my face once again with chocolate and cookies. But I feel like I sort of have to do it anyway. Any words of advice?

[Thinspo] sunny days thinspo/fitspo
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 21:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49gtbd/sunny_days_thinspofitspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/yBaCE

[Tip] Hefty looking one-pan pork chop dinner at 399 calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 21:05:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49gnaj/hefty_looking_onepan_pork_chop_dinner_at_399/
---
I suspect there may be a lot of people on here who occasionally need to cook for themselves, especially in front of other people. This is a hefty looking dinner, but it's actually about as lean as you can imagine. I like to give any fatty pieces to my dog, further reducing the calorie count. It doesn't hurt that it's good for you, cheap as dirt, and tasty.

**Pork Chop in Apple-Dijon Sauce & Braised Baby Carrots**

7 oz boneless pork loin chop

.5 tsp salt

.5 tsp black pepper

2 servings of baby carrots (18 carrots)

3 Tbs fresh parsley

3 Tbs apple cider vinegar

1 Tbs dijon mustard

Put a heavy cast iron pan on medium-high heat. While it's heating up, gather your ingredients & sprinkle the salt & pepper over the pork chop (on both sides). Put the pork chop in the pan (if it doesn't sizzle, the pan is too cold. Take the pork chop out and wait a minute or two). Put the baby carrots in the pan next to the pork chop. After 3-4 minutes, flip the pork chop over. The cooked side should have some nice browning. While it's cooking, pick the parsley leaves off the stems. After the meat has cooked for another 3-4 minutes, use tongs to touch the fatty side to the pan, and sear it for 1-2 minutes. Check that the meat is cooked to your liking by either cutting into the center, or with a probe thermometer (130F is ideal for most people, it'll carry over to 135F). Put the meat on your plate and let it rest (don't cut it yet). Toss the apple cider vinegar into the pan over the carrots, and sprinkle in the parsley. Simmer the carrots in the vinegar until it's reduced to about a tablespoon, maybe 2-3 minutes. Put the parsley-covered carrots on your plate, but leave the reduced vinegar in the pan. Add the dijon mustard. Using a rubber spatula, mix the sauce in the pan well, then scrape it out onto the pork chop.

399 calories

44g protein

18g carbs

14g fat

5g fiber

Rich in vitamin A, B12, C, & K, all of which can be tricky to get enough of.

[Help] why does feeling full make me want to eat more?
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Mon Mar 7 20:11:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49gf5o/why_does_feeling_full_make_me_want_to_eat_more/
---
when im restricting, I have no problems. However the second i feel too full, like even on veggies or an extra fluffy protein shake (what happened today- blended it for too long so was thicker) i go into binge mode. ah how do i stop this


[Help] Primatene crash?
/u/fearsize [5'4" | 126 | 22.05 | -3 | f]
Created: Mon Mar 7 18:50:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49g2r3/primatene_crash/
---
I started taking a single dose(1-2 tabs) every day and have noticed that I'm crashing really hard at night. I get really tired and emotional(usually precursors to a binge), but if I take another tab I end up awake later than I want to.

Has anyone else experienced this, and if so how do you deal with it?

[Rant/Rave] I'm proud so I feel like sharing
/u/russianfrank
Created: Mon Mar 7 18:47:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49g29d/im_proud_so_i_feel_like_sharing/
---
I haven't eaten in the past two days (had really shitty days, but I don't get hungry when that happens) and today when I stepped onto the scales, I saw that I lost 6-8 lbs. I know it's not real weight perse, but I haven't been this weight in months. *yay for me* Now to keep it up and not binge (:
My day started off pretty well, how's your day going?

[Goal] Going on a three day fast! Any joiners?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 18:20:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49fxzz/going_on_a_three_day_fast_any_joiners/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Who to follow on tumblr or pinterest?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 17:22:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49foz3/who_to_follow_on_tumblr_or_pinterest/
---
**Note:** please don't share your social media accounts here if there's any personal or identifying information on them, including your face!

This weekend I've been stuck in bed with the flu, so I've been killing tons of time on pinterest and tumblr, and I created whole new accounts dedicated to thinspo. Anyone have an account or suggestions for other good people to follow?

PS. I know people post about this every so often, but I did a search and most of the threads seem pretty old or they've disappeared.



[Rant/Rave] Never listening to my thoughts again...
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 16:51:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49fjyk/never_listening_to_my_thoughts_again/
---
I messed up, once again. I'm so disappointed in myself and my thoughts that always trick me and make things harder for me. So lately I've been obsessed with vegan recipes so I've been watching a lot of these videos. Turns out today I got home earlier from work and I wanted to cook a meal for my family for one of the videos I saw. During this time I started over thinking and thought it was a good idea to actually eat the meal and try to 'recover' and make more yummy vegan meals and just enjoy life and eating cause life's too short and food is good.

**Bad idea**

I feel so disgusting right now, of course I not only ate the meal I made but a bunch of other crap and someone's been in the upstairs bathroom for the past hour so I haven't been able to purge. I feel so bad I want to cry and self-harm (although I haven't done it in forever). I'm so mad at myself for letting myself believe I can 'recover' and not binge and not get fatter than I already am.

I'm going to fast for the next couple of days until I pass out or something because what I did today and what I've been doing for the past two weeks is unforgivable. I can't trust myself I cannot believe anything I say. I need to go lower than 110lbs I cannot stay around this weight any longer it's making me anxious argh.

[Help] Purging question?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Mon Mar 7 16:44:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49fizq/purging_question/
---
Never done it before, kinda terrifies me, but i guess,thats somewhat good. I restrict a lot, but have been getting huge sugar cravings recently out of nowhere, asking mostly out of curiousity.
. please answer honestly...as unhealthy as i know purging is, does it work? Or after you've eaten,is there,nothing you can really do? If i got a craving really badly and ate, could i have it not count if i purge 30 mins after? :/

[Help] rant. advice. it's his birthday!
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Mar 7 14:45:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ezg9/rant_advice_its_his_birthday/
---
today is my husband's birthday. at midnight, i already gave him his first present which was an expensive warhammer starter kit. now he is at work, and the plan was to set out rose petals and fake candles in a path to the bedroom door and i would be waiting for him in lingerie. the problem; i am really sick. it started yesterday, like full on flu-i'm-dying-in-mucus sick. also, i am on my period and the flow is sorta heavy. he wants a bunch of sex and i dont want to ruin his birthday. i dont have benadryl otherwise i would dose up. i took an ec stack. how can i suck it up? cold medicine does nothing to help. i dont want to ruin his whole day by being bedridden sick and not surprising him with romance. ugh.

[Discussion] Eat Water slim range
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 115.8lbs | 17.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 14:44:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ez9o/eat_water_slim_range/
---
Has anyone tried the Eat Water slim range?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eat-Water-Range-Noodles-Pouches/dp/B00LIYPPIY/ref=sr_1_4?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1457387022&sr=1-4&keywords=eat+water

Claims to be around 20kcal per packet and you add your own sauce?

I'm dubious to how it tastes...

[Rant/Rave] I'm so confused
/u/grassbum [5'5" | 97 | 16.33 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 14:09:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49et6t/im_so_confused/
---
I've been having this weird thing with my exboyfriend and I've been acting crazy, I'm really trying to get back together. I keep blaming him for not caring which is dumb because like obviously he doesn't. Last week he said we could hang out if I got my eating behaviors under control and I should gain some weight. We've hung out twice since then, when we're together I feel like I'm home. It's so hard to do this though. I know its not healthy, he's hanging out with me because he feels like he has to. I keep bringing up saying like "Oh you don't care about me, you don't want a girlfriend you want a fuckbuddy". It's so hard to care about someone so much and them just disregard you. When ever we text, I get crazy and sad. My life is filled with nothing, I'm nobody, with no friends and he has this great life filled with partying and friends. A month ago he said we couldn't be together because his friends would lose respect for him and he would lose respect from his self as well. But here we are I'm a crazy psycho bitch with no life, and he's having the time of his life. When we're together in person i feel so calm and happy and i just want to take care of him. I love him so much and he wouldn't even care if I died. I need to stop eating I can't do this, I need to stop existing, I need to be put in the ground.

[Tip] pro tip: get caffeine capsules, not tablets.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:51:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49eps8/pro_tip_get_caffeine_capsules_not_tablets/
---
i got the walgreens brand caffeine tablets to complete my ec stack and they are cheap. dear god. they melt in your mouth the INSTANT you put it in there. i cant swallow it i have to cut it up into four pieces and even then it's god awful. the taste is DISGUSTING. and if it melts enough before you swallow it the taste gets stuck in the back of your throat and ugh. just, get the capsule ones that don't disintegrate in .3 seconds. you'll thank me later.

[Rant/Rave] The number one benefit of my EC stack is
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:46:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ep12/the_number_one_benefit_of_my_ec_stack_is/
---
that I get to feel like I've temporarily broken free from my addiction to food.

I feel kind of weird to be positive about it and thereby promote an action that I see as potentially pretty damaging, but I needed to rave about it. I'm sitting here having eaten nothing all day with no desire to put food in my face hole. That's basically a nonexistent feeling for me. And it's so fucking freeing. Because without that nagging to eat something, or constant mental gymnastics of "if i eat _____ , it's only _____ calories, and I can fit that into my day", I can *do* stuff. I'm so productive and I can devote so much more mental space to things that I actually care about (let's not get me wrong, I care more than too much about food, but I don't want to)

[Discussion] Waist circumstance measure: To suck in or not to suck in?
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:42:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49eo8f/waist_circumstance_measure_to_suck_in_or_not_to/
---
I require a precise measurement to track my waist circumstance as I no longer have access to a bathroom scale. My calculations and measurements and formulae must be precise. Must. Be. Exact.

**Question:** for those who track their waist measurement, I understand you must measure around the smallest part of the waist. Do you suck your stomach in first? Let it all out? I don't even know what the natural state of stomach should be? I've been sucking in my stomach since before I even knew why I was sucking in my stomach!

[Discussion] What other subreddits do you visit for support or to find tips or advice?
/u/BetterMeInside [5'6" |236.6 | 38.4 | -3.4 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:40:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49env1/what_other_subreddits_do_you_visit_for_support_or/
---
I'm finding it really hard to get support. I'm 30 and a mother and don't really have many friends I can rely on for support with losing weight and no one understands me. I feel so alone doing everything. Every one here even seems so young! I'm trying to expand my support and community online. I even made a new account because my husband was giving me crap for subscribing here.

[Tip] Marshmallow peeps!
/u/she_thatchet [5'5" | CW: 110 | 18.5 |GW: 100 |]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:32:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49emel/marshmallow_peeps/
---
Just a quick PSA for the upcoming Easter/chocolate/sweets season:

Peeps are 28 calories each, so the box of five weighs in at a mere 140 calories. It's not a fasting food, but its a great low cal treat! If relatives insist on giving you sugar these are a great, non-suspicious option!



Plus, peeps are delicious.

[Tip] Easy Low Cal snacks for UK based people?
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 115.8lbs | 17.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:23:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ekuh/easy_low_cal_snacks_for_uk_based_people/
---
Hey,

I thought I'd share my small collection of low cal on-the-go snacks (I know, I know, vegetables are nature's low cal snacks but I'm lazy and cba to prep that shit)

Hartleys No Added Sugar Jelly: 5kcal (although my Tesco only stock the New Recipe 50kcal kind D:)

Co Op Chorizo rice cakes: 86kcal (I live directly above a tiny Co Op and wrote a letter to the manager for him to restock the rice cakes and am now the crazy rice cake girl)

Petits Filous pouches: 66kcal

Laughing Cow Mini Cravings cheese cubes: 14kcal per cube, the blue cheese and smoky cheese are fucking yum.

Yutaka Yellow Instant Miso soup: 26 kcal

Mugshot Cinese Noodle: 155kcal

Pret's Under 250kcal soups, the lowest one I've seen is 126 and I love being able to have something hot and filling.

Pret bags of Crisped Kale: 67kcal

Volvic No Added Sugar Strawberry water: 12kcal for 1.5l


I would **love love love** for people to share their go to foods, I've been trying to grow my shopping list.

[Discussion] Eating fast/slow
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 12:52:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49eety/eating_fastslow/
---
The ancient weightloss tip that I'm sure we all know of of taking tiny bites & chewing very slowly is commonly associated with EDs. Although I do this about half the time, the other half I'll shove food into my face at lightning speed, even if I know it's the only thing I'll have that day. I guess I feel so bad about the fact that I'm eating that I want to get it over with as soon as possible? Idk. I'm trying to stop that though, so I was wondering how many people here manage to eat slowly, and how many people tend to eat way too fast. (And how/why?)

[Discussion] Tea & Anti-Binge Help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 12:20:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49e8zg/tea_antibinge_help/
---
[deleted]

[Help] What kind of goals you do like to go by?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 12:16:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49e8d6/what_kind_of_goals_you_do_like_to_go_by/
---
I'm having some motivation problems. I'm at 162, and my goals are 155, 140, 135 for now. I know for a lot of you that is an unfathomable ton of weight, but everyone has a starting point, right? I want some little prizes for when I get to these GWs, but I'm not sure what yet. I have no interest in make-up/beauty stuff, I wear metal band Tshirts and skinny jeans, and since I just bought my condo I have a lot of stuff to repair/remodel that eats away lots of my disposable income. The only thing I can think of would be to get some larger aquariums, since I'm a tropical fish hobbyist. My goal is to have a 55 gal tank designed around my favorite fish's natural habitat, but if I gain the weight back it just seems kind of strange to have that. IDK. What do you lovely people do?



[Tip] Interesting low-sodium alternative to bouillon: Vegetable sipping broth / savory tea. Has anyone tried these?
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 11:25:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dz4o/interesting_lowsodium_alternative_to_bouillon/
---
http://www.milliessavoryteas.com/index.html

[Intro] Hi :)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 11:15:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dxd4/hi/
---
I don't know how to start an intro. Oops.

I've been lurking around quite a few subreddits, but I decided to make an account just for this one so I can pull my way out of a life of fat-assery, I guess.

I've been on a binge and restrict cycle for a while, but I'm back to just restricting, because frankly, I want to be skinny again. I also saw how supportive a lot of this community was so I'm excited that I can finally join it.

I'll post some stuff that helped me and I do look forward to seeing all of your tips :)

(Also, forgive me but this is my first reddit and I'm awful at formatting)



[Help] How much water weight can you gain in a day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 11:14:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dx54/how_much_water_weight_can_you_gain_in_a_day/
---
I went out for a date on Saturday night and had about 10-12 drinks (I know, I know). I woke up hungover as hell, but lighter than the day before. Then I binged and purged twice on Sunday like a fool. I worked out but I don't think my water intake was very high and I woke up this morning 1.6 pounds heavier. Is it possible that is all water weight or did I gain some from the binging? I doubt the total of the binges was over 3500cal but I'm paranoid that I've gained and I feel like I'm fatter.

I've worked out today and intent to again tonight, and I'm chugging water like it's no one's business, but I'm terrified to step on the scale tomorrow and see a higher number again.

[Discussion] Home for spring break…
/u/dissimuler [5'4| 114 |19.95| -14 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:57:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49du1g/home_for_spring_break/
---
Does anybody else find themselves eating really odd combinations of food in order to make it seem like you are eating a "normal" amount? My mom does all of the grocery shopping while I'm away so I always have to be a little creative when cooking myself dinner. For example, last night I made soup out of a vegetable boulion cube, a can of sweet peas, and some random spices from the cabinet. Not a bad meal for 250 calories, but definitely not my first choice under everyday circumstances.

[Discussion] This showed me an awesome place about ED discussions and met new experienced people.
/u/dikshants
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:51:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dt35/this_showed_me_an_awesome_place_about_ed/
---
http://www.proanatipsandtricks.com/ana-buddy-chat.html/

I found My Ana Buddy from here, also had some pretty interesting conversations. DO CHECK!
/u/dikshants
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:22:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dnuk/i_found_my_ana_buddy_from_here_also_had_some/
---
http://www.proanatipsandtricks.com/ana-buddy-chat.html/

[Rant/Rave] Unintended hiatus and updates.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:13:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dm1b/unintended_hiatus_and_updates/
---
I have been without internet for 3 weeks and therefore unable to be here. But it's back and so am I. A few thoughts:

* I finally hit the 120s. I haven't been here in a long time and it's a great motivational push.

* It's fascinating how I know I look different and yet think I look the same as I did 40 pounds ago. I can see where I lost weight and then my brain says otherwise. I'd love a brain scan while I look in the mirror.

* I feel bigger than the last time I was in the 120s because I was so active back then and had much better muscle mass. I can't start lifting again yet, but I am working on muscle tone and improving my heart.

* While I was gone I had a real shift in my focus on food. Like many, I could eat whatever as long as it fit my caloric goal. Since then I've quit all added and artificial sugars and it's been a bitch. I'm eating so clean and feel so much better even though I'm still restricting.

Last point, which I find quite interesting. I'm thinking about the last time I was this weight. I was b/p-ing numerous times per day and then hitting the gym for a couple hours every night. I hated myself 110% and couldn't even fake being happy. But now I'm okay with myself. I don't feel this immense disgust at all hours anymore and it's odd for me. I realize there are plenty of things I'd like to change, but I know I'm working on them and they won't change overnight.

My next GW is 125, then 119, and then 115. I'll re-evaluate things from there, but it's comforting knowing I'm making progress and close ot my goals. Thank you for listening.

[Discussion] ed behaviours?
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:02:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dk2w/ed_behaviours/
---
So I saw in an earlier post that someone mentioned that touching your collarbone/hipbones is something a lot of people with ED do subconsciously and its something I keep noticing myself doing! Anyways, I was wondering what other kinds of little things we might do so I can try and stop doing them! Has anyone else noticed anything like this? (im on mobile so no flair, sorry)

[Discussion] Random Restriction fluctuation?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 09:37:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dflv/random_restriction_fluctuation/
---
So I increased my restriction to 1000 calories last week and it dropped me out of a plateau. Then today, I feel huge from eating so much, so I'm dropping my restriction back down to 700 for a few days.

Has anyone see success with this kind of fluctuation keeping you out of plateau-mode? The closer I get to goal the more I'm dying to reach it.

[Help] Need help reaching a goal!
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 09:21:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dcs0/need_help_reaching_a_goal/
---
(TO MODS: Currently on mobile, will flair this later.)

I currently weigh 143 lbs and I want to drop 6 lbs in 10 days. My BMR is ~1700 and my TDEE is ~1400.



How much can I eat MAX a day to reach this goal (to go from 143 lbs to 137 lbs in 10 days) given that my days are normally fairly sedentary to lightly active?



Thank you so much for your help. You all are so lovely. 💖

[Thinspo] A Mini Thinspo Album (I know, third post on my first day, I'm going all out XD)
/u/beautiful-bones [5'3 | 145 | 25.5 | -6 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 09:05:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49da68/a_mini_thinspo_album_i_know_third_post_on_my/
---
http://imgur.com/a/EVT8w

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 7 09:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49d9ib/daily_food_diary_march_07_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 07, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Old vs New Scale
/u/Rumplefatskin [5'6.5" | Corpulent | -20.4| F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 08:00:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49cyzh/old_vs_new_scale/
---
My app. 6-9 month old scale shows a 2.4 pound gain than than my brand new bought on Friday scale.
I should believe the new one right? Which means that I'm not as fat as I thought. 🤓
Also, there's a new Once Upon a Time on Hulu! 💕

[Tip] Something that helped me A LOT
/u/beautiful-bones [5'3 | 145 | 25.5 | -6 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 07:20:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49csya/something_that_helped_me_a_lot/
---
So I know I literally posted my first post fifteen minutes ago, but here's something I wanted to share with you all.

**TEA WITHOUT SUGAR.**

When I was in my bingeing days, I would dump so much sugar into my tea, it makes me throw up now. Now, I love all sorts of loose leaf green teas. So basically, you have these tea leaves, put them into an infuser, put that in hot water for a minute, and BOOM. You got yourself some good AF tea.

Here are the links to my all time faves - expensive, but totally worth it. I have 2-3 cups a day and enjoy the delicious benefits!

http://www.itoen.com/genmaicha#.Vt2NljY4nak

http://www.teavana.com/us/en/tea/green-tea/emperors-clouds-and-mist-green-tea-31396.html?navid=green-tea&start=6

Just a warning: once you have these, you won't want to drink tea from a crappy tea bag ever again XD.

Happy drinking!

Love,

beautiful-bones

**EDIT: FORMATTING XD**

[Intro] Lol Hi *Awkwardly Waves*
/u/beautiful-bones [5'3 | 145 | 25.5 | -6 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 06:47:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49co4f/lol_hi_awkwardly_waves/
---
So I've lurked around this sub for a bit, and I decided to start being active today. So, basically, I'm an ex binge-eater, was on a binge and restrict cycle, and now I'm back to restricting. I'm eating ~ 1000 calories a day, and exercising ~ 700 off, putting my net at ~ 300. I'm using this Monday as a fresh start, and I look forward to seeing everyone's tips and tricks. I honestly love how supportive this sub is of each other!

Love always,

beautiful-bones

[Rant/Rave] Thanks my friend
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 7 06:23:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ckp4/thanks_my_friend/
---
"You don't have to look around your belly anymore now you've lost weight."


Thanks for triggering this binge

Reasons to lose weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 05:56:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49chia/reasons_to_lose_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! March 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 7 05:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49cbkh/weekly_stats_update_march_07_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 07, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] Let's share our goals and rewards!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 7 04:59:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49cb7n/lets_share_our_goals_and_rewards/
---
So, we probably all have our goals set up already, but today I needed some motivation.

When I'm 55 kg/121lb and by all BMI standards underweight, I can buy a CHI straightner (I've been wanting that thing forever) instead of putting my money to my savings account.

Btw: 55 kg is a loss of 4 more kg :)

[Discussion] How do you decide when to eat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 21:27:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49axwz/how_do_you_decide_when_to_eat/
---
Some days I don't eat in case I feel much hungrier later on, but sometimes when I do this I end up eating more/having a small binge

[Intro] Must stop purging because of my dentist...
/u/treedaniel [5'7" | CW 187lb | BMI 29.3 | Male]
Created: Sun Mar 6 21:21:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ax34/must_stop_purging_because_of_my_dentist/
---
Lurker here. Finally broke down and got an account.

Dentist said my teeth and gums are terrible and look like a cancer patient's and if any more rot goes on he might recommend I get some pulled. I MUST stop purging. For my teeth.

I must convert my mind from binging and purging to just restricting. I binge and purge to keep my calorie range down but omg. My brain is spinning.

Any experience on converting your brain from binging and purging to just restricting? For context: I live on-campus at college and have a full meal plan (access to buffet style cafeteria for every meal).

[Discussion] If only safe foods didn't spoil...
/u/throwythrowabq
Created: Sun Mar 6 19:52:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ak5g/if_only_safe_foods_didnt_spoil/
---
This would last me so long with my portion sizes -.-

http://imgur.com/fHovgeY

This is actually the first time I'm making my own jello and not relying on the little cups (so wasteful!) Hope wal mart brand sugar free is as good as jello brand.

Just posting for accountability
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 18:23:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49a7eb/just_posting_for_accountability/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Had a fight with my mom over food :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 18:14:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49a67p/had_a_fight_with_my_mom_over_food/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] To anyone craving sweets and worrying about binging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 17:39:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49a1bm/to_anyone_craving_sweets_and_worrying_about/
---
I just grabbed birthday cake flavored gourmet gum from Target, and holy shit is it good. Something that has 5 calories shouldn't be able to taste this buttery sweet. Cravings gone, now jealously hoarding gum. Today's calorie count is saved!

[Discussion] Do you restrict, purge, or both? Benefits to each method? Tips?
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Mar 6 17:14:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499xu5/do_you_restrict_purge_or_both_benefits_to_each/
---
Hello, all! I'm just wondering which methods you all are using. I have always been one to restrict. Lately, however, I have been vomiting a lot from an illness and it's been making me want to start purging. Luckily, I can't binge, because my appetite just is not there (no complaints here!). However, it's gotten to the point to where I can make myself feel nauseous and vomit just from looking at the toilet! I've also become more efficient and regurgitating (i.e. no noise when vomiting--completely silent).

However, I do not think this is something I will continue, at least not consistently, although I'd like to (I'm worried about stomach acid and my teeth and have electrolyte imbalances already). Do you all have any ways to combat this? What about any tips regarding restricting?

Thanks!

[Rant/Rave] Monday
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 16:03:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499neq/monday/
---
Tomorrow is Monday. It marks the start for a new beginning for me. The next 3 months I get to restrict and exercise like I haven't done in weeks and I'm not forced to eat with anyone besides diner. I can finally lose the weight the way I want it again.

But I'm also worried. April has a two important events for me. First, RuPauls BOTS and second, The Elf Fantasy Fair. My mom is making me an awesome costume for that second one, it's almost finished. I'm worried it will be too big and she has to adjust it. She will notice much faster when I'm losing weight because she has to measure me and I have to try it on every now and then.

I'm so excited, but also really worried. I know I can make it to underweight before that, but do I want to? Sometimes this is too hard.

[Rant/Rave] [Rant on mobile] Why am I the only one trying?
/u/scribblescrabblerag3 [5'1| 102 lbs| 20.13 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 16:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499nb8/rant_on_mobile_why_am_i_the_only_one_trying/
---
Okay I just need to vent and I think you guys can relate:

I try hard to look good. It isn't above all the most important thing in my life but I make an effort to look decent. (ED things aside)

How do other people /not/ care? I work with the public and I can't wrap my head around how some of these people let themselves leave the house. Holy fuck they're crusty. Sorry but it's true.

How do people just shovel shit into their face with no regard to nutrition or calories at all?

I think the main reason I'm back into my ED so hard is because seeing someone I know gain and gain and gain and let themselves go really messes with my head.
That, and I work with the public. I see so many crusty middle aged/old people and obese people ride motorized scooters. Yuck.

Yeah I'm vain whatever. At least I'm taking care of me and demonstrating personal discipline. I don't need to binge until I hurt a few times a day, as much as I'd sometimes like to, unlike someone I know.

Basically: I'm frustrated that someone in my life doesn't keep up with themself when I try so hard.

Anyone ever feel like this? ._.
Help me I feel terrible about this.

And no this isn't something I can approach them about. Talking it out is not a conversation I want to have.

[Rant/Rave] Irony
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Sun Mar 6 15:58:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499mmg/irony/
---
Irony is that I had always loved myself. I was perfect in my mind. Superior. I was happy beyond what words could ever tell and I loved my life. And my eating disorder. I loved my life and myself.

But then, I got too skinny (read: too happy) and was forced into a hospital. One of the psychiatrists violated me the first night I was there. Stole my purity. My body was no longer safe. It was no longer mine. I would never get to feel perfect or happy again. I lost so much. I'll never be able to experience giving my purity away to a loving significant other. I'll never get to have that love for everyone and everything again. I'll never be able to love myself again. I don't fantasize about how I could help people anymore. I fantasize about chopping off my breasts to get the shame off of me.

I had never felt suicidal in my life. Why would I have? I was perfect. But then I wasn't. Ruined. Violated. *Filthy*.

I left the hospital suicidal and broken.

It was supposed to be a healing experience. It was supposed to make me feel better. Improve my life.

But it ruined it.

I will never be the innocent and happy, loving, sweet girl I was. Pain changes you. Now all I am is a hostile bitch who has nothing to look forward too in life.

So. That's irony, huh? They sent the happy girl to a place meant to heal her but broke her instead...turned her into a broken heep of pain and hate and sadness. She's dead now. Her body is still alive but something else lives in it. Her unclean body is now just a house to an angry spirit.

Her life is made of flashbacks and tears and hating herself. It's made of loneliness and sadness. It's ruined forever.

Just like her.

Just like the girl who used to be me.

[Rant/Rave] Pretty sure I've officially relapsed.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 14:52:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499com/pretty_sure_ive_officially_relapsed/
---
I've supposedly been "in recovery" for about 3 years. Been struggling a lot in the last few weeks, and this past week has been bonkers. I'm down 5 pounds from Sunday, and yesterday I tried to have a "normal" food day because I figured I needed it, and I ended up freaking out and purging. Purged once today too, and I'm about to head in again. Fuck me. I hate how comforting these behaviours are.

I'm still holding on to the hope that I will be able to stop when I reach a weight that I'm comfortable with that's still healthy. But I know that never happens. Oh well.

[Help] [Help] How to stop binging?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 13:48:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499322/help_how_to_stop_binging/
---
I almost never eat breackfast or lunch (and when i do it junk food), and then after school i just bing on unhealthy things like chips, cookies, ect.

I just dont feel like eating real food like a full meal unless its fast food like Chick fil A or something.

And if i cant eat junk food/ snacks then i just dont eat.

How can I stop doing this because 1) its unhealthy and 2) Im wasting moey xD

[Rant/Rave] I Miss You All - Life Is Crazy.
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 13:44:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4992ds/i_miss_you_all_life_is_crazy/
---
It's been approximately 21 days since I've checked the sub. I miss and love you all so I figured I'd write an update post since I'm going to try being more active here again.

I started my new job in the beginning of February and it's been amazing. It's so easy to fast there, and if I ever need anything there's free almonds and fruit in the kitchen to snack on, plus free unlimited coffee and almond milk. But I've been doing terribly with binging in the evenings, and I have been working really hard to try and stop that. Also every Friday I've been getting wasted off delicious, delicious craft beer. That probably hasn't helped me.

Me and my boyfriend of 2.5 years are currently on a "break." We've had really longstanding issues that put us in a cycle of happy-issue-sad for the entirety of our relationship, and I decided if we wanted any hope of being happy together, we first needed to sort our shit out separately and then maybe try again. This has been crazy hard, and I've cried at work like fifty times over the past month as this has all been happening, it's not great.

With my job and being constantly surrounded by people, trying to be more social and rekindle old friendships etc., I just haven't had any alone time to really just sit and check the sub. It's been really hard and I think the lack of group support is part of the reason I've been losing control and eating like crazy in the evenings. I've been doing a bit better for the past 2 days, so I'm really hoping I can keep it up. I weighed in the other day at 108lbs, but I'm not updating my flair until I'm sure it's something that has stuck.

Anyways. Just wanted to let you all know I miss and love you all and you're all beautiful and wonderful and I hope everyone had a really great February.

[Help] [Help] How can I loose weight?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 13:37:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4991cb/help_how_can_i_loose_weight/
---
[removed]

[Help] I've had a terrible week and I feel like I need to confess.
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 13:13:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498xj5/ive_had_a_terrible_week_and_i_feel_like_i_need_to/
---
I'm deeply embarrassed of what I'm typing, but I need to share because I need someone to understand, I need to see if anyone is in a similar boat or has been.

Ok, so basically, my long distance SO (America-Germany, ~10months) visited from Feb 27th to today (March 6th). I restricted well and heavily for the week and a half leading up to it (for me, typical restriction is 600-1000 cals, but I pulled 200-400 pretty consistently with only a few binge days) and I got to 133, which is my lowest adult weight. I was so proud of it. I loved how I looked with each and every passing day.

But the reason I restricted so much was because my SO wanted the whole "American" food experience. I told myself I wouldn't count calories, but would rather try and eat like a normal person with normal portions and it would be a maintenance/minor gain week. But then I went into fucking insane binge mode. Holy fuck. I hid food consumption and upped it by like a crazy amount. I had a box of poptarts (not a fucking foil package, a box, with four x2 pastries, ~1600 calories) for fucking breakfast for like 3 days. And I was just so sneaky and a fucking mess. Then I got self conscious about my body after like the 3rd day when I was starting to notice the effects of the massive amounts of food. But he was so sweet and didnt care/notice. He still finds me hot (we started dating when i was 170ish), but I cared and it affected so much of the trip. It was so awful and I hid it as best as I could, but it was a binge *week*. The longest I'd ever binged was 2 days.

I gained 10lbs, and while Im sure a decent part of that is water weight/food somewhere in my digestive tract, I look and feel like it. Fuck. I'm going to start a fast right now, actually, and just see how that goes and for how long I can do it. My goal is 50 hrs because I like that number.

Goals for this post:

Has anyone had a week like that? Have you recovered mentally/physically from it?

Random tips for fasting?

thanks for hearing me out :) I'll update my flair when i know im on an empty stomach (tomorrow morning)

[Discussion] I ate a little under my BMR yesterday and MFP said I will gain weight
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 12:33:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498rdg/i_ate_a_little_under_my_bmr_yesterday_and_mfp/
---
This can't be right. Like, even remotely. My BMR is about 1,470. I had a lot of vodka, and my intake for the day was 1,400. I actually had enough calories for the app to not scold me for eating too few calories and it gave me a two week projection *that was three more pounds than I weigh now*. I can understand if my TDEE was 1470, but this is my BMR.... (Harris-Benedict equation)

Does anyone have insight into how the hell MFP calculates the projection? I'm dying to know how they think eating under your BMR makes you gain weight. It's so unfathomably stupid that it's comical.

Edit: Even if they're using a different version of the BMR equation, my TDEE would still be more than whatever their BMR equation says.

[Goal] Hit a Goal (Finally!)
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 12:31:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498r4j/hit_a_goal_finally/
---
Just did a happy dance this morning. Finally below 120 for the first time since college. I've been plateaued at 121 for what feels like forever, but I woke up today with sore arms from push ups yesterday and was treated with a new number for my flair. I celebrated with two scrambled eggs and tea to last until dinner.

[Rant/Rave] Really annoyed...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 11:57:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498lu3/really_annoyed/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Pure restriction, or deficit tracking? Plus an introduction.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 11:28:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498hnk/pure_restriction_or_deficit_tracking_plus_an/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Help! Weight gain?
/u/justwanttolikemyself [5'1" | 101 | -43lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 11:27:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498hjy/help_weight_gain/
---
Okay so for the past week i've been eating around 300 calories a day, but these last 3 days i've messed up eaten around 1500 friday, 1500 saturday and 900 today. Will I have gained fat from this? How much?? I know this isn't a massive binge but i'm still really concerned i've messed everything up.

[Intro] Hi. I've been lurking for a while, so here's my intro.
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 142 lbs | 23.5 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 10:44:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498ap3/hi_ive_been_lurking_for_a_while_so_heres_my_intro/
---
I have spent the last couple of years struggling with bulimia and binge eating. Over the past few months I've tried to stop binging/purging, but stopping the binges is the most difficult part.

Some days I barely eat, and other days I eat >3000 kcal. I have no idea how to eat properly, and am always at one extreme or the other. I love this sub, and it makes me feel less isolated to know there are others who struggle with the same things as me.

I created an instagram account to distract me and help motivate me to stop binging. You can follow me (@wishtodisappear) if you like motivational/inspirational quotes.

[Thinspo] Male Thinspo: Saint Laurent Paris
/u/PrismicHelix
Created: Sun Mar 6 10:08:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4984z3/male_thinspo_saint_laurent_paris/
---
http://imgur.com/a/9AXhJ

[Rant/Rave] I just want to be okay
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 09:15:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/497x67/i_just_want_to_be_okay/
---
I don't know guys. I love restricting and I love actually turning into something that I can look at in the mirror and not hate with a burning passion, but I keep getting stuck in this binge/restrict cycle every time I get triggered (I've been sexually assaulted and raped a few times so every time I see them I just kind of shut down) and manage to lose 10-15 pounds. Then when I start feeling better or I try to be as normal as possible I can't stop bingeing which makes me upset which makes me depressed and I don't leave my bed for several days which makes me think about a lot of bad things which sends me back into restricting.

I just want to be okay enough to be able to lose weight ( I don't even care if its a fast pace, like 2 pounds a week is okay) enough without it being too tied to my emotions.

I have a hard time feeling things but everything I do feel is just terrible and I'm on Prozac and Wellbutrin to try and help with my anxiety and depression but sometimes it's not enough and the weird high that bingeing gives me is the only thing that can make me feel a little better but also terribly terribly guilty and self-loathing.

Why can't I just eat a burrito and then restrict the rest of the day like an actual normal person? Why can't I restrict to 800-1000 calories and be okay instead of restricting to 200 for a month and then just fucking myself over by eating 3000+ calories everyday for a week?

All of my friends are worried about me and it's not even because of the eating thing (they're supporting me in my journey to lose weight because I'm actually not even that thin anyway) but its because of how fucked up I am in the head and emotionally and everything else. People text me and ask me "are you okay? I just want you to be okay" and I want to be okay too but I just dont know how.

Please, God, make me a stone.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 6 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/497vcw/daily_food_diary_march_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] under 150!
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 08:43:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/497sm6/under_150/
---
i'm 149.6 as of this morning! this is probably a super high weight for most of you but this is my first time under 150 since a month ago (which is when i started binging like crazy) and it feels so good! i'm so excited and motivated now aHHhhhh!!!

[Rant/Rave] My grandpa is in town...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 07:54:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/497lzd/my_grandpa_is_in_town/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] Hello!
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 04:55:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4971z4/hello/
---
I've been enjoying reading this sub for a little while, and beginning to get involved so I thought I would introduce myself to you all!

I'm not sure how anybody might read my username to themselves because it's actually in another language that can be difficult to pronounce (it means 'teaspoon' lol) but you can call me whatever. :-)
I'm a 23yo art student.
H: ~5'4", HW: 154, LW: 108, CW: Idk because there are no scales in this house..!! Also makes it strange to decide on a GW. How low can I go, basically!

I am horrified by how much I allowed my weight to creep up on me. I began eating more 'normally' and gaining, but things and stuff happened and I guess it got out of hand.
I've had issues with anxiety since school and depression for at least 8 years, hard to remember because it's quite consuming and you 'get used to it'. I've gone through binge phases, rarely purging, but after not having done it for a while I realise how bad it makes me feel all over. I've begun to lose weight and restrict again recently though and am loving becoming reacquainted with it, it feels so good!

I think this time has been triggered by a few different things. I know many overweight people who seem to 'enjoy' eating and drinking too much, which can make it difficult to be around (*so* anxious about going to visit my family over Easter! Control freaks all going head to head..), but also they try and counteract with diets they can't stick to. I've always been told I have a very strong mind and willpower, on the other hand, especially in terms of being veggie/vegan (for 7 & 2yrs)

I came back from visiting them and decided to do the 5:2 diet that my sister and stepmother are doing. I know it's not difficult and am competitive so I thought why not, even though they wouldn't know I was doing it lol.
That went well for me for a few weeks, then one of my housemates I don't see much mentioned how I'd lost a 'considerable' amount of weight and spurred me on further.

My depression/anxiety has been really bad. I was so desperate I went to the doctor and got put on antidepressants. I started the meds and had a delightful surprise - they absolutely kill my appetite!! I was amazed. So for the past couple of weeks I've been on 5-600cals a day (except once when I slipped and ate a little sweets.. Going back to vegan now though, and no alcohol cause meds so won't be a problem any more!)

Rambling on a little, but I'm so glad to have found this place and I'm very excited to be a part of the community, if I may.
Looking forward to getting to know you all! <3

[Discussion] The silliest thing you've done in the name of your disorder?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | 95.7 | 17.43 | -22 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 03:31:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/496uk4/the_silliest_thing_youve_done_in_the_name_of_your/
---
I was having a weird sort of giggle about the time I did a headstand in my aunty and uncle's bathroom, on christmas, in an attempt to churn up the contents of my stomach, because the food I had eaten wasn't coming up. (it didn't work very well btw.) But it got me wondering about the absolutely fucking ridiculous situations that other people had gotten themselves into, so here I am!!

[Help] So angry at myself...need your support guys and gals :(
/u/bellatrixcat
Created: Sun Mar 6 01:05:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/496hzz/so_angry_at_myselfneed_your_support_guys_and_gals/
---
I've come to the realization small, powdered doughnuts are my worst enemy. They were just sitting out, 90% stale, and I ate 6. For a total of 610 calories on top of my 600 today. I've been so good with restricting and exercising and I just blew it. I am feeling enormous and defeated. :( what to do other than water binge ?

[Rant/Rave] starting a fast!
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 00:20:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/496dub/starting_a_fast/
---
i ate so much and my last meal ended at 8pm. i'm doing a 24 hour fast and i'll probably break it tomorrow night with something light like soup before i go to sleep. this is my first fast in a long time so wish me luck!

*edit: probably going to push it to 48 hours or as long as i can, i really need to start losing soon

[Intro] Hi, My first post!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 22:07:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/495zjx/hi_my_first_post/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I binged for the first time in months
/u/thindreaming [5'8 | 159.6 | 24.3 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 20:34:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/495o38/i_binged_for_the_first_time_in_months/
---
I'm freaking out. I've been so good at staying on track with willpower and my recent discovery of EC stacks. And today I don't know what happened but I just ate ~1430 cals in one sitting after being good all day. I'm at like 1800 for the day which isn't bad in comparison to my past binges but I'm still really upset about it and I don't know where to go from here

Usually I purge after times like this which I'm debating but its honestly so exhausting and I don't want to start this whole b/p cycle again

[Rant/Rave] A Clean Slate (Upcoming Goals)
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 19:45:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/495i4t/a_clean_slate_upcoming_goals/
---
The past week has been one of the worst weeks I've had. The two weeks before that were wonderful; I didn't binge or purge once and I lost a total of 11 lbs.

Then this week started and it was b&p'ng *every* *day.* I did manage to go down 2lbs but my throat is killing me and I spent the whole week bloated and with the worst food cravings. My weight has been the same for the past 3 days.

So I just wanted to write this down here so I can have it solidified that starting tomorrow I'm going to try all that I can to not b&p until I become underweight (~~not saying that after that I'll b&p, hopefully I never do it again but no promises~~).

My plan is to lose *at least* 4 lbs per week. Tomorrow is a fast day, every Sunday will be since Saturdays are the days I cannot control my food intake because of my surroundings. Like today I had to go to a family lunch, then a baby shower...

This is it, I cannot keep losing control it makes me feel horrible. I noticed that those two weeks I did great were because I had a deadline. Last Saturday was an important day and I *needed* to look better so binging wasn't an option. After that day passed, things went downhill because I no longer had a goal for a certain date. I need to find something to motivate me like that again.

By the calculations I did I can reach 97.6lbs by the end of the month, only two away from my UGW (which I'm thinking of lowering to 90lbs because I'm starting to believe I'm shorter than 5'4''. I really which I could measure my height...

So yeah this is it. No more of last week, I really wish I don't go through that again, it reminds me of the old days in high school when my life was a mess (more than it is now) and things never changed. I hate how it was back then and I don't want to go back to it. Just thinking about those days makes me just want to stick to this new goal for myself, maybe that will be my motivation.

I also wanna thank this sub and everyone in it you are all so helpful and amazing. I'm thankful to have a place to let all of this out, something I didn't have back then (which is why it was worse). Thank you for this safe space.

[Help] Resisting the urge to purge
/u/anordinarypenguin [5'2''|111.8|20.45|-24|F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 18:31:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4958o0/resisting_the_urge_to_purge/
---
Every time I eat something, I can't help but think about when I'll get the opportunity to purge. I can restrict, but once I get upwards 600 calories, I can't help but feel suuuper guilty. Sometimes this guilt turns into the want to eat, only because I know I'll be able to purge it all when I go for a shower. I haven't been to the dentist in years and I know I need to go. I'm scared that I'm going to fuck up my teeth like my mom did when she was bulimic. It's scary. I don't want to have a partial denture in my mouth.

Does anyone have any advice to stop oneself from purging?

[Help] I hate feeling full but not enough to avoid overeating.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 16:53:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/494vc3/i_hate_feeling_full_but_not_enough_to_avoid/
---
Hi everyone. So the SAT was today, which went pretty well. My mom decided we should go to Olive Garden afterwards to celebrate, which was fine by me, since Olive Garden is among the only restaurants I will splurge on. Damn I love their house salad. Plus we got there at around 2:30, meaning I could count on skipping dinner without too much backlash from family.

I ate a *lot* of salad, two bites of my entree, and called that good. While I feel slightly better knowing my stomach expansion is 90% due to too much salad, maybe 800 calories max, I still feel gross. Any advice on restaurant will-power for the future?

[Discussion] ISO more hot drink/drinkable soup ideas!
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 16:51:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/494v36/iso_more_hot_drinkdrinkable_soup_ideas/
---
I've been loving all the food/drink posts lately! I do so much better when I have some go-to ideas for low-calorie foods rather than just giving into the craving...I think I'm going to start keeping safe food lists again to help cut binges off.

I would love to know if anyone has more ideas for hot drinks, especially savory ones! I find that something warm really helps me curb hunger, and liquids don't seem to trigger me to eat all the things the way solid food does. Of course I drink coffee and tea like it's my job, and I drink a lot of broth with different spices and stuff, but do you have any other ideas for me? Lately I've been doing a teaspoon of miso dissolved in hot water, sometimes with sriracha...or tom kha broth with a tiny bit of coconut milk, chicken broth, and lemongrass/ginger/garlic...and occasionally half/half tomato juice and water that I drink like tomato soup.

[Rant/Rave] Venting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 15:30:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/494jhq/venting/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] DAE have "normal" days?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 14:53:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/494e09/dae_have_normal_days/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] DAE watch videos about food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 12:54:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/493wec/dae_watch_videos_about_food/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I broke my fast early..
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 12:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/493qoy/i_broke_my_fast_early/
---
I'm eating miso soup right now on what would have been day 14 of my fast. Weighing in at 153.9, I've dropped 22 lbs, which is nothing to sneeze at, but I still can't help but feel guilty and like a failure. Like I could have and should have gone farther. I should have waited at least another week.

There's a method to my madness, in that there's a 12k run coming up in May that I want to start training for and I can't do that if I'm breathless. Starting today, I'm doing squats and lunges and I'm gonna try and ramp it up every day for the rest of the month till I can start running again after I've completed the refeeding process.

Still...I'm not feeling great about this, and I'm gonna need as much support and inspiration as possible to get to my goal weight 'cause 153 is unacceptable....and I'm still craving shitty food and I need to resist. Ughh I just feel so bad about this god and it's so dumb, like if anyone else fasted for 13 days I'd be like "woah way to go!" but for me it's like "woah fuck you you fucking failure".

Blah blah blah, at least miso soup is only 38 calories.

[Discussion] Suggestion: we should make a private sub for self-pictures!
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 11:45:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/493lnv/suggestion_we_should_make_a_private_sub_for/
---
I want to share pics to track my progress and keep myself accountable, but I'm not exactly comfortable sharing them on the stickied weekly threads. I've done it a few times, but I've always gotten self-conscious and deleted them a day later, and it seems like a lot of other people have that problem too. I also know that a lot of people (including me) have gotten creepy PMs after posting, and after I shared pictures of myself, the viewcount on imgur was over 1000 (I hadn't posted the pics publicly to imgur, only here) despite the fact that they'd only been up for like a day and there were barely any people commenting/voting in the thread. The current system just feels way too public (though I'm not suggesting abolishing the weekly thread, just making a sub in addition).

Of course, obviously there's no way to ever keep selfies completely private when you're sharing them on the internet, but I know that I personally would share more often if I knew that everyone viewing it was a regular, verified member of the community. We could have people verify themselves by taking a picture of themselves holding up a piece of paper that says their username (which seems only fair to me; you should have to be willing to share a picture of yourself in order to see other people's), and we could make it a requirement that you have to be an active poster on this sub for at least a month in order to get verified. It wouldn't be a perfect system, but it would weed out a lot of bad apples. And if this sub were to ever get deleted, we could use the private sub as a backup. Thoughts?

[Discussion] Superlow kcal dinners
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Mar 5 10:40:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/493btw/superlow_kcal_dinners/
---
So, most of us live with people and have dinner with them too. What are some superlow cal dinner recipes where you eat a LOT but actually you know, don't.

I love making mushrooms, union and noodles for my family, but plate them in a way that I barely have noodles and a lot of veggies. Do you have any recipes? :)

[Goal] Halfway there
/u/elliebearrrr
Created: Sat Mar 5 09:25:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4930nr/halfway_there/
---
After my disgusting binge yesterday I've made it to 4:30pm today completely fasting! I won't have access to food until around 5:30 when I get home, so I'm planning to have some soup if I get really hungry later on. This feels amazing!

Edit: can't add flair, on mobile :(

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 5 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/492xf2/daily_food_diary_march_05_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Intro] Intro!
/u/Rumplefatskin [5'6.5" | Corpulent | -20.4| F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 08:53:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/492w4p/intro/
---
I'm having to make a new profile because my boyfriend knows my other account & I don't want him to see this. :)

So a little about me!
You can call me Rumple. I'm 22. I live with my boyfriend, my dog, & my cats!

I just wanted to say hi because well I like to lurk and just wanted to be known, I guess.

[Rant/Rave] Just some rambles, move along
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 07:42:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/492my3/just_some_rambles_move_along/
---
I don't know how I managed it, but I had a cider, a ginger beer, a beer, and 5 gin and tonics yesterday and still managed to lose this morning. Probably because we danced for 4 hours straight... oops. But today the hangover is LEGIT and my body hurts. I haven't had food since about 5pm yesterday, and it's 11am right now, and I think maybe eating will help with this gut rot feeling but also maybe if I let myself suffer I won't drink this much again any time soon. I just want to step on the scale tomorrow and see a smaller number. Everything else is just fluff.

[Rant/Rave] I just binged
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 06:03:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/492bw8/i_just_binged/
---
On a 2 overfilled bowls of honey smacks. It's only 8 am. But the kid is already being a butt and honey smacks are delicious so I guess this is my meal for the day. Hopefully.

[Discussion] Tea?
/u/vigil_morgenstein [5'4" | CW 122lbs | UGW 96lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 05:00:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49266t/tea/
---
In mobile so no flair I'm afraid (。-_-。)


Just wondering what everyone's favourite teas are - I'm obsessed with herbal tea and always looking for new recommendations. It's good for my skin and keeps me from snacking, so if anyone's got any they recommend I'll give it a try!

My personal favourites:

Yogi Tea - Lime & Mint is amazing.

Pukka tea - Chamomile, Vanilla & Honey or their Peppermint and Liquorice are both delicious. The liquorice is so sweet it keeps me with sugar cravings.

Oolong and Mint tea - I get this from the Asian supermarket in town and it's great. Oolong is linked to suppressing appetite too (it's the stuff in the daytime teas for most tea-tox brands)


Figured I'd share mine and hopefully get some new tea inspo - mixing it up keeps me from getting bored with what I have and straying on to snacking instead!



[Rant/Rave] It seems to be getting easier... but its still not enough (rant)
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 00:00:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/491hka/it_seems_to_be_getting_easier_but_its_still_not/
---
Mobile.. sorry no flare

Ive been actively avoiding real binges, and slowly decreasing my overall caloric intake. According to MFP im averaging around 1300 a day. I forgot to take my adderall and was so hungry... i had 1400 today and it felt like a massive amount of food... and ive been doing this quasi restriction to stop purging again. Well its getting easier to restrict to a "normal" ish food intake. only now i feel like purging when i eat 1300... i dont know how to reset that trigger. Its almost like im hyper sensitive to the feeling of having anything in my stomach, yet i lack the will power to actually restrict my eating habits. My body is almost refusing to switch EDs. :/ not that having either is great, but id rather not be bulimic. I like my teeth... i don't want a swollen face.

[Help] Where do I start? I'm a fatass who want to lose 90 pounds.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 4 23:15:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/491daz/where_do_i_start_im_a_fatass_who_want_to_lose_90/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Fuck recovery, I have proof that I look like I weigh more than I do
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Fri Mar 4 20:29:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/490ukw/fuck_recovery_i_have_proof_that_i_look_like_i/
---
I have been trying to spend less time on this subreddit in the past week or so, thinking that maybe I should focus on recovery. But I just finished an intake and was diagnosed with bulimia. They got my weight, height and I filled out all the assessment forms. At the end session, she said, "From what I see, I would diagnosis you with bulimia. Does that sound right?" I nodded but on the inside, my brain was on fire.



I know it doesn't matter because an ED is an ED...but I have a BMI under 17 right now. I guess part of me wanted someone to tell me that I'm underweight objectively. They got my height and weight there too, with clothes so it's not like my scale at home is very off. I was wearing my bra, underwear, tank top, long sleeve shirt and puffer vest, jeans and socks, and had coffee in me, and weighed in at 99 lbs even. They got my height at a touch under 5'4.5". My morning weight on my own scale without clothes and drinking coffee was 97.4. But she gave me a bulimia nervosa diagnosis.



Now I'm convinced that I must look fatter than I thought because I wasnt diagnosed as Anorexia Nervosa, b/p subtype. I feel like my weight could be so so much lower because obviously it is not considered low. I always thought I found comfort in objective numbers. But an intake professional doesn't think I'm underweight. I was so happy when I got under 102, thinking I was approaching "underweight". I have reverse body dysmorphia. I should add 15 lbs to what I " think " I look like because I'm obviously skinny fat.



At my core, I am pretty dysfunctional with b/p but I also restrict. I just want to lose so much weight right now. The intake just made me realize that I am too attached to this to truly want recovery. Just look at how much this bothers me. It will just be a waste. I am just going to have to do this shit until I die or commit suicide.


I don't have anything exciting going on in life anyway. And it's not like I can fork over the money right now. I'm not worth it anyway. I filled out a scholarship for treatment assistance. I made it to the second round. I moved it to junk mail because let's me honest, other people deserve it more. Other people have a stronger will to live, kids, a partner, are smart, are passionate about their jobs, etc. I cant live knowing I might take away someone's hope. Me? I'm an canvas, and I have no colors to paint with.

[Help] I can only purge when I'm drunk
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 20:27:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/490ue2/i_can_only_purge_when_im_drunk/
---
I'm sure being nauseous from drinking plays a role, but tonight I ate probably 1000 cals of just chips at dinner and was able to purge with my friends knowing by claiming I was too drunk and would feel better if I booted and rallied. It was so hard to actually purge though, does it get easier? Or should I just have more fucking self control??

[Rant/Rave] First REALLY good day in a long time (warning: super long post)
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 146.2 | 26.61 | -49.8 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 20:01:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/490r8j/first_really_good_day_in_a_long_time_warning/
---
Today has been a really good day for me. This last weekend was really rough. It was my husband's birthday so we went out to eat each day and I had some awful binges. I didn't make my February goal. (I was 2lbs over, so close.) And I've just been all around grumpy.

That all started to change yesterday. I was trying to stick with liquids only. Normally, I drink water but it's hard for me to drink the recommended amount. I actually drank 60oz yesterday, along with 20oz of powerade zero. My calories for the day was 0 and it was amazing. I had to do laundry at my father in law's house, and while I was there I spent an hour cleaning because I had the excess energy. When I came back home, I spent another hour deep cleaning my house. It felt awesome.

Today was even better. I did start the day with some soup (180). I decided that since the weather was nice, I should go and try to walk some. I went to a hiking trail near a waterfall and actually did a 3 mile hike. I'm so proud of myself. I know it's not much, but for me it's a big thing. I have asthma and I'm honestly really lazy. On top of the hike, I've consumed 67.6 oz of water already. (Another big step in the right direction.)

As a reward for all this progress, I decided to buy myself a shirt. (I very rarely buy myself clothes unless I absolutely need them.) It's a cute little hippy looking shirt I got at Wallgreen's while buying more primatene. It's a s/m which I usually don't buy because I'm a little too big for those, but shockingly, it fit!

I'm just all kinds of excited so I wanted to share. Sorry for the super long post, I'm still a bit hyped up on caffeine.

[Discussion] Counting calories burned
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Fri Mar 4 16:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ztt5/counting_calories_burned/
---
Quick question. I read somewhere that exercise machines and things like MFP wildly overestimate calories burned, which I can see just by looking at the numbers it gives me. I don't worry about it too much because I don't eat back my calories but it makes me feel better to think that I burned some of the calories I ate.

Anyway, I used my stationary bike for an hour (speed was about 10-12) and it said I burned 300 calories. would it be close if I cut the number in half? Or is 150 still way too high? I barely felt tired..I'm starting to think I didn't burn anything at all.

[Discussion] ED with friends? Does it make it easier or harder for you?
/u/ginpanda [5'6" | 268 | -5 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 15:36:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48zpnt/ed_with_friends_does_it_make_it_easier_or_harder/
---
Recently my friend and I were talking about our pasts with eating disorders and decided to work together to support each other. We both set a restriction goal and update each other a lot.

Have any of you had something and did it help you or hurt you? It's been really great so far, but I worry it'll make us really competitive and like, I'll feel way worse about my weight.

[Tip] Water weight (extreme dorkiness edition)
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 15:34:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48zpbs/water_weight_extreme_dorkiness_edition/
---
I stupidly did a saltwater flush yesterday and I'm four pounds up from water retention even after going till I felt like I was going to turn inside out. This is the reason I swore off them, argh! But anyway, it got me curious and I started looking stuff up, because of course I feel disgusting and huge with 4 lbs of water, but nearly not as disgusting and huge as I did 4 lbs of real weight (i.e., body fat) ago. It turns out that for the same volume (1 liter)

- water = 1000g

- body fat = 900g

Imperial - for the same volume (1 quart)

- water = 2.3lbs

- body fat = 1.6lbs

So, you can calculate that my 4 lbs of water weight is about 1.75 quarts of volume. The same weight of body fat was 2.5 quarts!

Point is, water weight sucks and makes you feel gross, but at least it's denser than real weight—so a pound of water retention doesn't affect the way you look nearly as much as a pound of actual weight gain. In fact, a pound of water is approximately 1 pint, or just 2 cups—that's tiny!

Hopefully something that can help keep you from panicking if you see the scale up for a day or two after a carb or salt binge. It'll go away soon—but even while it's there it's not even like you *look* like you gained that amount. Knowledge is power!

[Discussion] Do You Have a Type A or a Type B Personality?
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 13:56:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48z9mu/do_you_have_a_type_a_or_a_type_b_personality/
---
If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll let Wikipedia explain: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory#The_types

I was thinking about this earlier today. I know stereotypes usually dictate that there's a link between being having an eating disorder and being a Type A (being a perfectionist, being very organized, being tense). However, I'm pretty sure that I fall into the Type B model. I'm not competitive, I don't get stressed out very often, and the only things that I get very anxious about are my physical appearance and my professional/academic success or shortcomings. When it comes to everything else, I'm extremely laid back.

I guess what I'm wondering is if anyone else on the sub identifies as a Type B, and if you think that it affects your eating disorder? For example, I don't count calories every single day (although on the basis of estimation, I still under-eat by at least a few hundred), I'm usually pretty rational when it comes to small weight fluctuations, and don't freak out over small slip-ups, so long as they're not too terrible. Does anyone else have any similar experiences? Sometimes I feel like such a failure for not being more rigid with myself, but it's just not who I am haha.

Anyways, which personality types do you guys have? I'd love to hear all of your thoughts on this, and I'd love to hear from Type A's too, of course!

[Tip] best fitbit type device to tell you how many cals you have burned?
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Fri Mar 4 13:45:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48z7sf/best_fitbit_type_device_to_tell_you_how_many_cals/
---
what do you recommend? what is the most accurate?


[Tip] If You're Feeling Discouraged...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 4 13:41:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48z71s/if_youre_feeling_discouraged/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] It's literally just for the weight loss
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Fri Mar 4 13:29:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48z54h/its_literally_just_for_the_weight_loss/
---
I can't stand it when people *insist* that EDs are about control for *everyone* or that they're always caused by low self-esteem or whatever. For me, it is *literally just that I want to lose weight and am too lazy to do it in a healthy way*. Thats. it.

It is not because I have crushing self image issues (I don't. I have the most over-inflated ego. I am ridiculously prideful and I love myself). It's not because I need to feel in control of my life or body (I really don't *want* to be in control of my life. I want care and guidance from an over-bearing significant other). It's not a cry for help.

I enjoy it and it makes me happy and I like the way it makes me look. I chose to be this way. I love being this way. It's just a way to maintain my body. That's literally it.

So, fuck you, pretentious psychiatrists and ignorant random person who took a two week psychology course: because I have an ED because I chose to and because I want to be able to eat all I want and still lose weight. That's it. It is not a coping mechanism. It's just a hobby with aesthetic benefits.

That's what it is for me. I can't stand it when people think they know what I'm feeling better than I do.

[Discussion] Is anyone else here in therapy? Do you talk to your therapist about ED stuff?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:43:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yxga/is_anyone_else_here_in_therapy_do_you_talk_to/
---
I've been seeing the same therapist for a year now. We meet twice a week. There are a lot of things I like about her, but lately I've been feeling frustrated.

My fixation on my weight has only resurged over the course of the past few months or so. It wasn't really a problem when I started seeing her. I want to talk about what I'm feeling and experiencing, but I don't feel like I can because every time I bring it up she gets really judgmental and pushy.

I mean, I know my habits aren't technically the healthiest and I'm not happy with how I feel about my body (which is why I'm here), but I also don't think that I'm currently experiencing some sort of Eating Disorder Crisis. I only restrict to 700-900 (my TDEE is 1400), all the food I eat is very healthy and I get all of the nutrients I need, and while I am underweight technically, I'm pretty far from meeting the physical requirements for anorexia. I know that if I feed my obsession too much it could get worse, but it's not like she could say anything to change that, and if she could I wouldn't want to hear it.

I just want to be able to talk to her the way that I can talk here. I want to be able to tell her about how bloated I feel, how frustrated I am because I've been plateau'd for two weeks, how I wish my thighs were thinner, how exercise makes me feel gross, how proud I am of myself for being so disciplined, how much I miss certain foods, how scared I am that if I let this go I'll gain the weight back. If I could talk about those things, maybe I could sort out some of those feelings, or at least get them off my chest. But I can't just talk and have her listen. If I talk to her, she feels the need to weigh in with her own opinions or to try to change the way that I'm thinking. If I tell her how ugly I feel, she tells me I'm beautiful, which honestly makes me extremely uncomfortable and frustrated and VERY ANGRY and I'm not quite sure why. If I start talking about dieting, she sighs deeply as if she simply MUST show her disapproval. And on and on. So I end up lying, or concealing information, and spending all of my time in therapy talking about everything except the one thing that is actually on my mind, that I can't stop thinking about.

I'm not exactly a passive therapy patient. I'm very comfortable telling her "please don't lecture me, that makes me uncomfortable, I wish I could just talk about it and have you listen." And usually she's very welcoming to that kind of feedback, but on this particular issue it's like she absolutely cannot retrain herself. Whenever I even mention being on a diet, she starts throwing around the word "anorexia" and looking at me like I'm a dying puppy. Yesterday I just couldn't take it anymore, I snapped at her and told her that I needed to be able to talk about this and she wasn't going to change my behavior or thoughts or feelings so she needed to stop trying and just listen, but she got really defensive. I don't know how to communicate the message to her and get it across. Are my expectations just too high? Has anyone ever had a really good therapist who they felt like they could talk about this stuff with?


[Help] I've been doing so well, but I know that I'm going to binge soon...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:32:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yvmp/ive_been_doing_so_well_but_i_know_that_im_going/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I just wanted to say that either my scale is nuts
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:30:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yv8a/i_just_wanted_to_say_that_either_my_scale_is_nuts/
---
Or my Uggs weigh 2 lbs. I have a massive sweater and Uggs on, the scale said 112 (WTF I was 108.8 this morning). So I took off my shoes and it said 110.4. I wonder what happens without the sweater? Either way. Fat.

[Tip] La Croix sparkling water
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:26:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yui2/la_croix_sparkling_water/
---
Y'all, for real go to your nearest grocery store and get some [La Croix](http://www.lacroixwater.com/flavors/) (it looks like shitty store brand soda but trust me on this one). Let me tell you why:

* It destroys soda/sugar cravings
* It has no salt (so if you hate the saltiness of sparkling water, that's a perk. Plus you won't bloat/retain water)
* It has no sweeteners of any sort, so no hidden calories/chemicals there. In fact, there's nothing artificial in La Croix at all.
* It comes in loads of flavors, and while I've only tried the passionfruit, it tastes amazing.
* And of course, the best part is it's 0 calories.

If you can't find it at the store (or you don't live in the states) try [amazon](http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=la+croix).

This makes me sound like a corporate shill holy shit...sorry, I'm not, I promise. I'm just really excited because (and this is gonna sound really cliche) it tastes so good I feel kinda like I'm cheating...like I'm drinking fizzy juice or something, and I really wanted to share.

[Thinspo] Binge. Purge. Repeat?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:18:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yt4k/binge_purge_repeat/
---
http://shangen010.tumblr.com/post/140458854184/i-struggle-with-binge-eating-and-its-just-a

[Discussion] How many Vegans/Vegetarians are here? How does it relate to your ED?
/u/alonelyturd [5'0 | 97.6 lbs | 20.07 | f]
Created: Fri Mar 4 11:19:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yjai/how_many_vegansvegetarians_are_here_how_does_it/
---
Posts where people mention not eating meat really stand out to me, so I've been thinking about starting this discussion for a while.

I've been vegetarian since I was twelve, and while I have strong vegan leanings I haven't actually made the leap yet.

The reason I'm curious about how it relates to your ED (if at all) is because I've noticed that when I eat vegan, I tend to feel way less guilty about my consumption and I'm way more likely to not obsess over calories. It's days that I eat nonvegan things that I feel disgusting. I think I use my vegan ideas to guilt myself into eating less, but I can't do that when I'm eating vegan, so my desire for weight loss is actually keeping me from wanting to go vegan? It's really convoluted and illogical, and I wish I could find the motivation to restrict when I am eating vegan. :/


(P.S. This is my second post and I still haven't written an introduction. I probably never will. So hi, everyone!)

[Rant/Rave] so if every pound is 3,500 calories...
/u/thishour [64 in | 115 lbs | | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 10:52:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yexp/so_if_every_pound_is_3500_calories/
---
if every pound is 3,500 calories and i started off at 20 lbs over the weight i wanted to be then...

3500 cals * 20 lbs = 70,000 cals

then if even eating a normal 1,400 calories for my height everyday...

70,000 cals / 1400 calsPerDay = 50 days

I had over-eaten by 50 days.

That's disgusting.

just a thought.

[Rant/Rave] Dropped 3 sizes but don't look any different
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Mar 4 09:46:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48y3yo/dropped_3_sizes_but_dont_look_any_different/
---
Fucking body dysmorphia. I have NEVER been able to fit in a size 6 in my life and here I am with a lovely new dress that fits perfectly. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I still see that huge fat person. It's so demoralizing to do all the hard work to lose weight and not be able to see it on yourself. :-(

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 4 09:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48xwwr/daily_food_diary_march_04_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I dumped by boyfriend last night and didn't binge!
/u/Wantminime [5'1" | 136lbs | 27 | -44lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 07:53:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48xmd4/i_dumped_by_boyfriend_last_night_and_didnt_binge/
---
Instead I ate a 90 calorie fiber bar for dinner and went to a yoga class, putting me at 295 cals for the day, and making me one full pound lighter this morning!
(Now I'm back to my flair weight, thank god. Seeing the scale go back up is the worst thing in the world).

The only problem? He won't leave my house WHICH I OWN, and I'm the one sleeping on a friend's couch. He's like "we don't hate each other, so why is me staying here for a month or two awkward?"

[Discussion] Thoughts on exercise
/u/The_littlest_naylor
Created: Fri Mar 4 07:47:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48xll2/thoughts_on_exercise/
---
I have a hard time convincing myself to do legit workouts because they always make me so hungry and I eat so much. I have tried to lose weight "the healthy way" but it seems to be so counterproductive.

I find that restricting is the only thing that I can stick to. It is like a big game of will for me. Although, it is pretty devastating when I lose to binging...especially the nagging in my head to have a late night snack.

I do walk a lot and take the stairs as far up as I can go... I live in a high rise building and have made it up 16 floors. I clean a lot too. I count these as exercise because yeah me I made it out of bed that day.

Sorry...just thinking aloud. Also, on mobile and haven't figured out how to flair on here.

[Rant/Rave] I ate McDonald's this morning because I was upset and skipped working out
/u/thininsp
Created: Fri Mar 4 06:38:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48xbzl/i_ate_mcdonalds_this_morning_because_i_was_upset/
---
FML. Why do I let someone else's actions influence my own? Yes, i was pissed at my husband. Does that mean I have to go to fucking McDonald's? I was completely on track and had planned to fast today and workout twice. Nope, ate McDonald's and skipped the workout to hang out with a friend.

I hate myself sometimes.

[Rant/Rave] Its my friends birthday and I ate 6/23 cookies
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Fri Mar 4 06:04:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48x86h/its_my_friends_birthday_and_i_ate_623_cookies/
---
150 each ohh

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! March 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 4 05:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48x1w5/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_march_04/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for March 04, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] My EPH100 pills aren't doing anything... What's your brand?
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 03:08:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48wrdj/my_eph100_pills_arent_doing_anything_whats_your/
---
Hallo. I bought some EPH100 pills from astronutrition a few weeks ago. They're apparently 300mg caffeine and 100mg ephendra. But I don't seem to get the slightest kick from them. Normal caffeine pills do more for me....

Have I got a dud brand? What brand would you recommend?

[Help] How do I keep my friends from finding out?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 4 01:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48wjar/how_do_i_keep_my_friends_from_finding_out/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] vignette
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 126.8lbs | 19.79 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 00:38:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48wf6y/vignette/
---
If I am going to have money for weed, then I need to spend as little as possible at the corner store. But I can't drink coffee without milk, and I can't do my day without coffee, so here I am, with 1l of homo at the cash, already rung up.

I walk up and down every aisle, looking for *something* that I wouldn't feel bad about eating, or using, or spending money on, when money is so so tight. Nothing. Nothing at all doesn't make me feel wracked with guilt. I've made the cashier wait for minutes now.

"Your favourite," he says with his thick accent, gesturing.

He indicates Goldfish crackers, one of my major binge foods. I feel like the word favourite resounds unnaturally, in my personal echo chamber of shame.

When I get home, I apportion it out into ziplocs, in an effort to stop myself from eating it all at once.

Do you think it works?

I hate myself sometimes

[Rant/Rave] Contacting my ex is making me want to restrict?
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 146 | 25.5 | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 22:21:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48w0jb/contacting_my_ex_is_making_me_want_to_restrict/
---
Hi guys :)
So recently I've been in some contact with my ex (we have mutual friends) and every time I see her I just feel terrible. But the one upside is that whenever I see her it just makes me want to restrict more. Especially hearing about all the stuff she's doing losing weight and going to the gym, ect.

I contacted her today because even though we're broken up, she said that she would always be there if I needed support for my eating stuff. I've been on the verge of getting back into the lifestyle, but kind of on the fence about it.I thought contacting her would help so I texted but after a couple messages she just stopped replying when she knew I needed support. So fuck her, if she doesn't care then I don't have to either and I can restrict all I want :)

[Rant/Rave] I purged for the first time tonight
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Thu Mar 3 22:04:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vyfn/i_purged_for_the_first_time_tonight/
---
After the Mega Fast I lost all control and binged for the last three weeks straight, eating all of my dysphoria and depression.

I did really well the last couple of days, restricting leading up to a 36 hr fast that I broke at lunch today by cutting a six inch subway sub in half and splitting it in two.

Then I lost control and "binged" on a can of tuna and a can of chicken breast to the tune of 200 kcal. So I'm at 500 by this point...

Then I eat half of my kids food, but that only came to about 200kcal in itself, so 700 total...


Then I was jamming out on Rocksmith and my body betrays me and I get the uncontrollable urge to puke, so I rush to the bathroom and push up nothing but acid, but this was the first time I've ever purged and I'm scared and my throat was raw and my head was pounding.

Ugh.

[Thinspo] I just want people to say my head is too big for my body
/u/not_meeeee
Created: Thu Mar 3 22:00:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vxvm/i_just_want_people_to_say_my_head_is_too_big_for/
---
http://imgur.com/k1oyrQV

[Discussion] Does anybody else "uncover" quirks about their body when they lose weight?
/u/Arc_cake [5'5 | 149.6 | 25.19 | -6.2 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 21:22:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vsqz/does_anybody_else_uncover_quirks_about_their_body/
---
I know it sounds weird, but I noticed once I start losing weight, I get a dimple on one side of my face when I smile. Is this because I lost weight? Or maybe I'm just smiling more?? Who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Does anybody else discover cool things about their body?

[Goal] some pretty great things about today
/u/assboy69 [5'11 | 120 | 16.2 | -45 | M]
Created: Thu Mar 3 19:47:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vfb1/some_pretty_great_things_about_today/
---
ive had a pretty bad 3 months in terms of my ED but today everything kind of worked out and im pretty happy


-
1: ordered a new scale and it finally came last night

2: my old scale didnt have decimal readings and when i weighed myself this morning i was EXACTLY baack down to my goal weight, 120.0!!! i dont even know how since i didnt even get everything up the night before but im back. i was like "this shit is BROKEN" but i went and got some weights and tested it and its accurate

3: today was the first day in OVER 3 MONTHS where i DIDNT b/p, save for a few days where i forced myself to not purge after a binge. today i didnt binge OR purge though and ate at maintenance and im SO FUCKING HAPPY. like wow all i had to do was not eat. i feel like ive broken thru a fucking wall and its gonna be way easier from here. im (hopefully) never gonna purge again. this is crazy

-

im probably gna be more active here now cause the past few weeks have just been super discouraging and depressing and i didnt see the point in posting here but im starting to feel better now

[Rant/Rave] Interesting day
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5| 109 | 20.24 | -23lb | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 19:22:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vbwy/interesting_day/
---
My best friend is in recovery for an eating disorder. This week is my school's National Eating Disorder Awareness Week and she was on a panel to discuss her personal struggle. I don't think she knows about my eating habits, but I went to her panel having not eaten for 31 hours and having just gone to a fitness class. I feel awful about hiding this from her but I honestly think it would just make things worse.

I have until March 27th to get to my goal weight because that is when lent ends and I'm supposedly cutting processed sugars and carbs from my diet for lent (even though I'm both agnostic and Jewish) and if I keep up these eating behaviors after that people will be suspicious.

Sorry for the rant! I just kind of needed to talk about the juxtaposition I'm in. After the talk, I went up to her and said "I'm so glad I don't have an eating disorder". I hate lying to her.

[Help] I just need to hear someone who binged a lot tell me they made it
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 19:10:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vabq/i_just_need_to_hear_someone_who_binged_a_lot_tell/
---
Tonight was bleak and my life feels like an indie movie about depression.

It would help right now just to hear about someone who binged every now and then and still made it to their goal weight. I feel trapped in my body.

[Rant/Rave] I LOVE that I've started working out every day but....
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 17:12:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48utbz/i_love_that_ive_started_working_out_every_day_but/
---
if for some reason I can't make it to the gym (i.e. - haven't seen my best friend in weeks and tonight is our only chance to catch up for a few more weeks so I need to be rational and choose her over the gym + I'm fucking exhausted), I feel like I MUST fast to "make up for the calories I would've burned" and the anxiety is through the roof. I feel like if I even ate a small dinner it'd turn straight to fat because I'm not putting in a hardcore workout. I feel like I'm "losing muscle", "quitting", "losing control", "giving up", and "failing" because I'm choosing a social engagement over the gym tonight. And fucking fuck fuck FUUUCK I WANT ICE CREAM SO BAD CURSE YOU PRE-PERIOD CRAVINGS.

Ugh, it's as mentally exhausting to NOT go to the gym as it would be to just physically neglect the rest of my life and go.

[Rant/Rave] "I'll stop when..."
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 16:25:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48umek/ill_stop_when/
---
I said I would stop when I reached my ugw, and then try to eat 'normally' while exercising a lot so I don't gain more than 10lbs at least. So that means I gotta go lower than my ugw, so when I gain I stay around my ugw. I know I'm confusing myself. But even if I "stop" my thoughts will still be the same, my fears and just everything so will I really be stopping? The answer is no.

Idk I'm scared I was on youtube and this video came up about the things you didn't know about bulimia and anorexia and although I already knew them, this time hearing them again scared me because now I kinda have something to look forward to in life, when before I didn't even care if I died the next day. So now I'm afraid for my future and my health but I know that won't stop me from feeling this way and indulging in these behaviors. I really don't wanna recover and get fatter. But I really don't want to ruin this opportunity for myself and my future.

Ugh my head is killing me I've been b&p'ing for the past 5 days and the number on the scale this morning was greater than yesterdays so that's a complete failure...

[Thinspo] Add me on fitbit // what are your main thinspos?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Thu Mar 3 15:53:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48uhob/add_me_on_fitbit_what_are_your_main_thinspos/
---
PM me your add link and I'll add you :) also, ive seen that people use fashion bloggers on tumblr for thinspos and i wanna see more of those! tumblr/instagram/anything you got :)

[Rant/Rave] Tired of the bullshit. Seriously frustrated!!! Ready to get back into the lifestyle.
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Mar 3 15:33:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ue7w/tired_of_the_bullshit_seriously_frustrated_ready/
---
I am a former anorexic (5'4" and 98 lbs) that has fallen from grace. I met a guy, started smoking weed, and have gained over 100lbs (230lbs)!!! I previously used restriction to reach my goal weight. Now I am just flabbergasted.... I have no idea what to do except restriction and exercise! I already burned 600 calories at the gym today.

What do you girls think? Please help me grasp my footing again! I just went to my apartment's gym and burned 500 calories (on top of restricting). Please help me be beautiful again!

[Intro] Posted on here a few times, never did an intro.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 3 15:09:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48uagb/posted_on_here_a_few_times_never_did_an_intro/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Are you guys pro-ed or pro-recovery?
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Thu Mar 3 14:04:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48u0ln/are_you_guys_proed_or_prorecovery/
---
Just curious cause this community always seemed slightly more proana than the other ones I've been in, though it is also my favorite. :x

Personally, I'm pro-recovery but I'm not planning to recover anytime soon.

[Intro] Lurker's Intro & Rambling
/u/BilboOfHouseBaggins [5'2.5 | Fat | -15lb | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 12:45:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48tn2t/lurkers_intro_rambling/
---
I've been on here lurking for a while now but I've hesitated doing an intro post simply because I'm so ashamed of my weight. I've been up and down weight-wise since I was 12. I started recovering at 17 but it spun me back into plain weight gain from binging. In fact I don't think I was close to recovered but kept on binging to help cope except without purging. In my head it equaled recovery but yeah no. Now I'm back to old habits and stuff because I realized how gross I got. But that's not exactly the point of this post.

I feel weird posting but today I just need support. I had a huge fight with my boyfriend last night who told me I was garbage and tainted everyone I dated and I was disgusting. So I binged then purged everything. I cried feeling like a waste of space and because of what I ate. Today I feel shaky and I'm full of nerves because today is the day I start a new job: my first food service job lol. I don't know how to stop shaking and cope since my anxiety triggers my stressed-induced IBS so I don't want to eat at all before work.

All around I'm a mess today.

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] "It feels very much as if you are possessed, as if you have no will of your own but are in constant battle with your body, and you are losing."
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 12:21:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48tiym/thinspo_it_feels_very_much_as_if_you_are/
---
http://i.imgur.com/v7g4rFQ.jpg?1

[Discussion] So... how often do you guys poop?
/u/skinnybutfluffy [5'2.5" | 126 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 11:31:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48taad/so_how_often_do_you_guys_poop/
---
I've always had abnormally infrequent bowel movements, but when I'm restricting, it seems like I should still be pooping more than I am - especially with all the coffee I drink!


I've been taking calcium supplements too, which can make you constipated. But I was just curious what the "normal" was for you ladies. :)

[Help] How did you handle a break from EC stacking?
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 115.8lbs | 17.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 11:18:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48t80r/how_did_you_handle_a_break_from_ec_stacking/
---
Ever since discovering the EC stack it has been a dream. I have absolutely no self control so when I'm hungry, I eat. No two ways about it. The EC stack meant I just wasn't hungry, and I was buzzing off my tits!!

Now, after finishing my first lot of 50 tablets in around a month, I let my pills run out to force myself into a break. I'm terrified of long term health consequences and I want my tolerance to drop again. I've order my next lot which should take around 3 weeks to get here.

So, I'm wondering, how did you guys handle your break? Did you gain a shit ton?? I took my last pill today and I'm starting to freak out. Did you cut out the caffeine at the same time??

Also, is there anything I can get my hands on in a UK pharmacy without a prescription that comes anywhere close to Ephedrine, in an emergency??

I was always planning to take a break but now the time has come I'm shitting myself. Today I hit my lowest ever adult weight. I can't decide it this is the best or the worst time for this cut off to come!!

Sorry for the rambling this ended up way longer than it needed to be. Any thoughts and discussion on your own experiences would be great, my favourite part of this community is getting to hear from other people!

Much love to all <3

[Help] Should I binge and then fast???
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Thu Mar 3 11:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48t5bg/should_i_binge_and_then_fast/
---
I've been on a 2 day binge streak which I recently found out was bc my period came early. My husband brought me hot cheetos bc he knew I didnt feel good and they're my favorite. Its a huge bag. If I don't eat it he'll know somethings up, but if I do eat it I'll binge on everything. I could just eat it all that way when I fast the next few days there won't be anything to binge on. I don't think I could purge it because the acidity would kill me. Idk what to do. I gained so much the past two days. Edit: he's also buying me the new vegan Ben and Jerry's ice cream after his work.

[Discussion] Well that was a terrible idea..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 3 10:41:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48t1km/well_that_was_a_terrible_idea/
---
I've been on a roll this week. I wanted to be under 135 by this coming Sunday but I reached 134.8 this morning! I figured I'd kick things into high gear today because we are supposed to go out tomorrow night and while I usually do really well when I go downtown (thin pretty trap queens every... talk about motivation), I wanted to make sure that I was going into the weekend strong.

So, I opted out of my regular breakfast and figured I'd just do one meal in the late afternoon and do my regular workout. The morning was fine, and I started my workout around noon. I went for about an hour and a half and then my blood sugar crashed. I was lying down stretching and I just stayed there for like 15 minutes because I really couldn't get up. I just had my planned meal so hopefully that will help but damn, that was scary.

I still feel so shaky and my vision is very messed up. I think tomorrow I'll go back to what I was doing earlier this week so I can keep up with the exercise because it keeps me sane.

[Thinspo] Guys with thigh gaps?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Thu Mar 3 10:12:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48swpd/guys_with_thigh_gaps/
---
[removed]

[Goal] I did it!
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 09:53:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48stco/i_did_it/
---
I just finished my first intentional 24 hour fast! I am so proud of myself. I know to a lot of people that's not a big deal, but it is to me. I'm going to try 30 hours next.

I set a timer on my phone so every time I unlocked it the running time popped up and that really helped. Plus I started an EC stack yesterday. You can buy BronkAid and primatene in Iowa, even though the map that's always posted says you can't.

[Rant/Rave] No idea about goals or future or anything
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 09:13:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48smue/no_idea_about_goals_or_future_or_anything/
---
This is just a jumbled rant/ my thoughts... not sure if any guidance or anything can be given or not but I just need to get this off my chest. My current goal is 100Ib by March 26, so I need to lose 4Ib. But I am concerned about my goals after that... I don't know when to stop or if I can stop?? I am really conflicted. I like the sound of being 90 something Ibs and being one of those girls who just "can't keep the weight on no matter what" but I don't know how 90Ib will look on me? I know this is mean and rather unfair but some body types are better than others (in my eyes) and can handle lower weights than others. I want to be delicate, model-y, lean, beautiful, not sickly holocaust victim :/ I like restricting now. Its normal to me. I eat 850 calories a day and I feel like I am almost being to generous with myself. I can't convince myself to eat my maintence amount because 1470 is such a big number and even 1200 makes me uncomfortable now. Ugh, I don't want to lose my butt either, my bf likes it and I don't want sitting to hurt more than it already does. But at the same time, I want a flatter stomach, bigger thigh gap, and sharper hip bones. Ughhh, last time I lost weight (I don't know my lw but it was probably at least like 5 Ib lower than it is now) my butt looked sad and my arms were very frail looking and I ended up scaring myself into gaining some weight back. I ended up at about 117 Ib before I decided I was too fat and then I restricted again. I am more nutrionally aware now than I was the first time so I am losing less hair and getting my needed protein but I am still really cold and sleepy. Also I feel my face is prettier when I am thin because my cheekbones stand out nicely and even at a healthy weight I gain chub in my face rather noticeably. I am so conflicted with myself

[Rant/Rave] Anyone here currently living in Asia?
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.2 kg (95 lbs) | last binged 30th March]
Created: Thu Mar 3 09:02:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48sl1j/anyone_here_currently_living_in_asia/
---
As an Asian who has lived and studied in the US for a few years, coming home has been a huge struggle. I lived my whole life pre-ED being skinny by Asian standards (definitely would have been IP if I were living in the US. Parents would probably have been investigated for neglect). And now I'm veering dangerously into "normal" size for Asian standards, thanks to BED.

 

It's frustrating because I can't talk to anyone about my wanting to lose weight and simultaneously fix my eating habits. It kills me that I'm technically a size 0/2, sometimes even a 00 (no offense America but your vanity sizing is cray cray) and if I hear another person telling me to stop losing weight and love my body because I'm already so skinny, I'm going to fucking explode.

 

I'm not saying that American ED is fat ED, please don't think so. All I'm trying to say is that Asian skinny is so much more extreme than Western skinny, and I'm losing my mind trying to chase my past...and getting fatter while I do so. And I feel so alone.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 3 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48skyh/daily_food_diary_march_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Need ideas for last section of food journal - what do you put in yours?
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 08:41:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48shmt/need_ideas_for_last_section_of_food_journal_what/
---
So I have this small binder that I use as my food journal. It has five sections 1-daily weight along with the calories, fat, carb, protein, if I took an ec stack, and if I had my period 2-nutritional info on foods I commonly eat for easy reference and to jot down recipes I like 3-losertown charts in various cal/day 4-body measurements and I can't think of what to put in the last one! I have doodles, thoughts, and printed out pics of thinspo all throughout but I want another section with something but can't think of what :( Is there anything else useful I could measure?

[Rant/Rave] Literally a rant and a rave
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 3 08:16:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48sdqj/literally_a_rant_and_a_rave/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How to stay motivated when you really don't care about anything anymore?
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 07:57:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48say3/how_to_stay_motivated_when_you_really_dont_care/
---
The past couple of days have been absolutely horrible for me. I've been binging constantly, and since yesterday my PTSD has been a total cunt. I'm getting tons of flashbacks, I feel disgusting. It's so bad I'm seriously considering suicide and got to the point of actually planning it out this morning. I know it's bad so I'm trying not to do it. I really am but it's hard. Considering I might not be alive tomorrow it's hard to care about anything anymore. I was supposed to be on a fast today but I just want to binge now. It might distract me from the constant flashbacks and, hey, who gives a fuck about gaining weight if I'm gonna die anyway. I've already gained tons of weight in the last couple of days and I know how much I'll hate myself if I gain more. I just don't know what the fuck to do.

[Rant/Rave] This is worse than a hangover....
/u/scarletbegonia_ [5'5 | 117.8 | 19.83 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 07:42:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48s8ub/this_is_worse_than_a_hangover/
---
I had been doing SO WELL the past 2 weeks, managing to stay around 600 kcal/day (with a few exceptions unfortunately :/) BUT last night I just threw all of that away and binged like I had literally never seen food before. I woke up feeling sick to my stomach and I can't tell if it's from all the food or just me thinking about what a whale I am that's making me nauseous. I had been looking forward to this weekend so much (it's a huge party weekend at my college) and now I feel like I don't even deserve to participate. Is there anything I can do to fix this? I just feel so helpless. I was on such a high from how well I did earlier that now I just feel like I've crashed and burned and there's no coming back. So much for binge free March....

[Tip] 5 / 50 / 70 / 90
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 114 | BMI 17 | -11 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 06:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rxnx/5_50_70_90/
---
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t31.0-8/12778855_1140681299277621_7544699229853569597_o.png

[Discussion] Do you consider this to be a thigh gap?
/u/khtfc09 [5' 7.75" | 140lbs | 21.13 | 10.6lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 05:24:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rr7n/do_you_consider_this_to_be_a_thigh_gap/
---
http://i.imgur.com/a4meHrK.png

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 3 05:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rowl/weekly_emotional_support_march_03_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] How to not feel so lethargic all day while restricting?
/u/rainingdeath [1.77m | 55.5 kg | 17.31 | -20.5 kg | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 04:24:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rlat/how_to_not_feel_so_lethargic_all_day_while/
---
I'm not even halfway my workday and I'm already having trouble staying sharp and I'm feeling weak and whatnot. I will only have some 9-kcal broth for lunch too, so I don't have an energy boost or anything planned either. So I was wondering... How do you guys do it? Any tips so I won't feel so sluggish?

And sorry for the lack of flair. I would, but I'm on mobile.

[Rant/Rave] Classmate said I looked thinner, asked if I was eating right.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 3 03:05:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48re5q/classmate_said_i_looked_thinner_asked_if_i_was/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Finally BMI under 20!!
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 02:41:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rbxj/finally_bmi_under_20/
---
I'm so glad when I stepped on the scale for the first time since my cakeday (and my bingeweekend, which was terrible). My new weight is 126 and my BMI is finally under 20!! That means I only have to lose about 5 more pounds to be classified as underweight. My day couldn't start any better. I know my weightloss is slow (30 pounds in a year, but I'm heavily monitored by psychs and friends) but it is kinda steady I guess? Anyway I've been doing better since I started living on my own (in my super cute apartment, yay!^^).
I couldn't have done it without the support of this group. You are all lovely and an inspiration to me. My first gw of 125 is so very very close now that I can work towards my second gw of 115. I'm sure I'll manage. For today I'm just gonna celebrate with drinking a shit ton of water and not going over 600 cal. Stay strong, lovelies!

[Thinspo] [x-posted to /r/TrueThinspo] PoC Thinspo Mega-Album
/u/calorified
Created: Thu Mar 3 02:23:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rag0/xposted_to_rtruethinspo_poc_thinspo_megaalbum/
---
http://imgur.com/a/jmIu5

[Rant/Rave] Dumb Chick Eats Everything, Gets Fat, The End
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 02:12:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48r9dh/dumb_chick_eats_everything_gets_fat_the_end/
---
A week and a half ago I got back from visiting my bf, where I was pretty bad about calories but probably not much over maintenance on average. But on the very last day we had a huge fight and he dumped me. (Please no comments about this... Both parties were wrong and he's not "a loser I'm better off without" or anything else people like to say after breakups.)

Since then:

1. I've been completely nocturnal (undoing all my hard work to manage my sleep disorder over the past 6 months), skipped EVERY class, missed a test and failed to hand in an essay.

2. I've spent easily $150 or more on binge food from the convenience store and a pizza place (because nothing else is open while I'm awake), eating what I'm sure is over 3500 calories a day.

3. Because of this, I'm late with both my rent and my power bill, and can't afford to buy cat food. I have no income (student loans only) and I'll have to beg from my mother while I try to find a job. But she's poor too so I don't think she'll be able to help much.

4. I semi-considered purging at least some of what I've been binging on but thought "fuck it, I don't care about life". I've gained at least 5 pounds just in this week (never mind the vacation), I'm breaking out and my face is bloated like a disgusting doughy lump.

5. I'm terrified to weigh myself and I can't leave the house because of anxiety about how fat I look. I'm afraid to put on clothes in case they don't fit me. I ran out of money to buy binge food with (still have some safe food in the house -- I don't binge on that) so instead of going back to restricting I STOLE MY ROOMMATE'S COOKIES.

This isn't even about my breakup anymore, it's just a self-perpetuating cycle of horror. I feel like I'm trapped in my own body doing all this crazy shit and watching my life slip away BECAUSE OF FOOD, OF ALL THINGS. Not fucking meth or heroin, just FOOD.

I'm so nauseated with myself, and most of all I feel horrible for my cat. She must be able to tell that I'm overeating while her portions are rationed. I would do anything to turn back the past week and just buy a goddamn bag of cat food instead of ONE binge.

I know you guys can't do anything about any of this and I'm just another shitty fat faker with no self control polluting this forum. I feel so disgusting and awful and ashamed.

[Discussion] low bp
/u/SingForMaya [5'2" |108 | bmi19.75 | -16 | F, 24 | GW:87]
Created: Thu Mar 3 00:37:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48r14d/low_bp/
---
blood pressure has always been low for me, since I can remember. but some days, I wake up and can't lift my arms above my head without blacking out. This morning was particularly bad, in that I tried picking up my pug puppy (like 7 lbs max) and stumbled and my vision left me. Later on at work, I couldn't walk or talk without getting out of breath. Anyone else experience this and have a fix?

EDIT- thanks guys :3 salt it is! and doc appointments are like $200 just to see them for 5 minutes so I hatehatehate going. but I guess I will.

[Discussion] [Advice/tips] seeking recipes that burn calories to prep
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Thu Mar 3 00:04:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48qxxu/advicetips_seeking_recipes_that_burn_calories_to/
---
I just had a stroke of genius! I cook dinner for my family p much daily and I'm trying to increase my deficit by a lot this week. What are some recipes/foods that burn more calories to prepare than others or take longer to prep? I looked online and didn't find anything coming up so I'm going to make an impromptu list. Please add if you think of any!

- Salsa (all that chopping!)
- shucking corn, peas, string beans, etc.
- Peeling potatoes, mashing potatoes
- Chopping salad (radishes, carrots, cucumbers, celery, onions, peppers, etc.)
- deboning chicken or beef
- shredding meat
- whisking eggs or cream
- chili? (Chopping & stirring?)
- grating veggies, cheese, etc
- prepping ground beef
- prepping dough (anyone know of dishes that require heavily kneaded dough?)
- heavy roasts like pork loin (lifting)

Can't think of any more (and these are really more actions than recipes but whatever. Both work.)

[Discussion] What physical boundaries do you use to determine "too fat"?
/u/fearsize [5'4" | 126 | 22.05 | -3 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 2 22:52:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48qqe3/what_physical_boundaries_do_you_use_to_determine/
---
When I was in high school, I had a friend who told me that "when your stomach sticks out past your breasts you're fat". Since then, it has been a sort of guideline to how much I have to improve and how good or bad I'm doing. Another guide I have for myself is how much of my inner arm rests on my chest when I have my arms at my side. It's like reaching for a weird sort of thigh gap with my arms/chest.

Does anyone else have weird physical limits for themselves like this?

[Discussion] personal ed instagram accounts?
/u/grassbum [5'5" | 97 | 16.33 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 21:36:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48qeq3/personal_ed_instagram_accounts/
---
Sorry if theres already a thread on this, but i thought itd be cool to follow each other? im @lil_ plant , post your ig n i'll follow you !

edit: Follow @lil_ plant_ !!!! not the one posted above

[Intro] Misfit + Intro!
/u/fantomlvr [5' 6" | 185.6 | 30.08 | -24.8 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 20:43:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48q6nl/misfit_intro/
---
Hey all! I'm about to fall off the wagon and I figured that becoming part of the community instead of just lurking would be a good way to stay strong :)

I'm 20, have struggled with various disordered eating behaviors since I was 16 years old and under immense stress to graduate high school a year early. Restricting is my favorite (if that makes sense) of all of my behaviors, since it's the one that makes me look the best, lol. Currently I'm restricting to about 300 cals a day, but I can feel the binge/purge cycle sneaking up on me and I'm trying to avoid that at all costs.

Anyway, I also recently got a Misfit activity tracker and want to add people! You can add me by searching for fantomlvr (same as my Reddit name)!

Thanks for having me :D

[Discussion] Drinking....ugh
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 126 | 18.27 | -14 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 20:15:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48q2un/drinkingugh/
---
I haven't drank for over a year and I just recently started casually drinking again BUT OMG DOES IT ADD ON CALORIES. Luckily I have been able to maintain but it is so nice to have a glass of wine.... It is so frustrating because one glass is so many calories and it is rarely ever just one glass. How do you guys deal with these urges?

[Rant/Rave] Screw breakfast!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 20:01:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48q133/screw_breakfast/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Roles sort of reversed and...Geez...
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 105 | 19.2 | -21 lb | f]
Created: Wed Mar 2 19:13:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pu7w/roles_sort_of_reversed_andgeez/
---
So middle school, I was fatter. And I mean, gross fat I don't know how I had friends or didn't see it when I looked in the mirror. Anyway, there was this girl, J. J was fucking beautiful and sort of bitchy. She was really nice at first but once you got to know her she got a little too comfortable and said awful things.
We were close-ish at first, then she started being mean. She had this weird obsession with my niece and told me not to "turn her into what I was". Whatever the fuck that meant. She would also constantly drop hints about how fat I was. Pinching my cheeks, calling me chubby etc. We stopped talking but, fun coincidence, she decided to go to the same high school as me. 4 years avoiding each other blah blah.

Fast forward to august, I find out she's also going to the same college as me. Fuck, another 4 years like this.

In October, one of my close friends asks me to go up to her dorm to hang out. Guess who's with her. Fucking J. Apparently my friend, M , became friends with J after she fucked her brother and now they're close (???). M encourages me to talk to J more.

Holy shit. J has gained at least 15 pounds. She's super nice now, but....fat. I've lost 20 pounds since the starts of senior year to now. She mentions it a lot. Whenever I talk about wanting to lose weight she makes comments about how thin I am. It's weird. Seeing someone who I used to be jealous of be what she made fun of me for.

So now, J keeps gaining weight, she's almost always looking for food it's crazy. We went to Starbucks the other day and I commented about how a brownie was 400 calories and she said "isn't that half of what you're supposed to eat a day". I tried explaining bmr & bmi to her but she said "no I don't wanna hear it" and drank her 500 cal Frappuccino.
It's just really weird how things change and how bad I feel about her discomfort with her body.


[Tip] "Sure I'll have a beer.."
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 18:59:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ps4j/sure_ill_have_a_beer/
---
When you pour out a can of beer and fill it with water so you can be included without consuming calories :3

[Rant/Rave] first time binge
/u/immadeof_wax
Created: Wed Mar 2 18:50:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pqef/first_time_binge/
---
So im usually just super restrict my calories and thats it. I have barely any gag reflex so binging has just never worked for me and restricting is easier. But today, I fucked up and ate this whole goddamn bag of trail mix. Which really was only 600 calories but thats basically my calorie intake for the day so I freaked out and tried to binge, but I think I scratched my throat or something because along with the trail mix I finally managed to get up I also threw up blood....idk, I just don't have anyone else I can tell about this. Now my throat just hurts and I still feel like a goddamn whale with no self control. Sorry for the long ass post

[Rant/Rave] Funny how fast things change.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 18:21:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pkdu/funny_how_fast_things_change/
---
I've been having a great few days. Down 2.6 pounds in the last 7 days, stuck to (and was way under) my calorie goals for the last 3. I've been happy and energetic and feeling on top of the world. Then today, I confront my roommate about something she did and she proceeds to inform me that she doesn't want to renew our lease and that she wants to move out in a month when she goes on coop for school. Meaning I'm without furniture and over half of the rent. The way she worded it was like our friendship meant nothing to her.

And now I'm sitting here drowning in self hate. I want to starve away anything that someone could love because in my sick and twisted brain hurting myself hurts her too. I hate that the words of someone else can have such an effect on me. That they can ruin the good feelings of an entire week.

I feel vile and worthless and weak and feeble and I want to disappear.

[Thinspo] Unconventional/obscure thinspo?
/u/burtra12
Created: Wed Mar 2 18:17:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pjk2/unconventionalobscure_thinspo/
---
I feel like I see a lot of the same people used as thinspo (Mary Kate, Nichole Ritchie, Megan Fox) but who are some of your favorite thinspo figures that not everyone knows? One of mine is Yolandi from Die Antwoord. She's so petite! http://i.imgur.com/FAA4GAE.jpg

I'm madly, deeply in love! LLi3CyVmt
/u/ofimjnqdwgxeky
Created: Wed Mar 2 17:47:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pe92/im_madly_deeply_in_love_lli3cyvmt/
---
http://cityinsurancemissouri.com/oeR6LyVwabrxhsoQo

[Rant/Rave] rambling/fitbit
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 17:27:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pa1v/ramblingfitbit/
---
I binged this morning, freaking again. I still should not be up three freaking pounds. I've been taking a diuretic since I'm hoping it's period water weight and took my first primatene 30 minutes ago. My husband is working late tonight so I can skip dinner too. I really hope I can make it 24 hours without eating, possibly more. I'm just so tired of being fat and binging.

On the upside my replacement fitbit came!!! Is there a thread for fitbit friends?

[Tip] Vegetable Jambalaya!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 17:07:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48p6fd/vegetable_jambalaya/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Store bought smoothies? Thoughts?
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Wed Mar 2 16:25:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48p09g/store_bought_smoothies_thoughts/
---
I like bolthouse farms, what do you guys think of these?

[Discussion] Advice about spring break travelling and maintaining
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 16:24:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ozxp/advice_about_spring_break_travelling_and/
---
So I am taking a trip to the UK with my boyfriend's family for a week next week. I want to maintain optimally but I'm at a low weight and I'm worried eating normally will bring me back up.


This trip means beer, restaurant food, nosey females who I need to impress since I'm dating their son/brother, and absolutely no myfitnesspal or they would all be annoyed and concerned.

Some of the things I already know I'll do are:

-order soup as much as possible and avoid bread and pasta like the plague

-Go as slow as I can with the alcohol but have a bottle in hand all night to make it look like I'm partaking

-pretend like I get sick if I eat in the mornings

The upside to all this is that we'll be hiking around a lot. Can I get some advice on how to at least maintain without being able to count calories or cook my own food, and without tipping off any of my boyfriend's family about my disordered eating?


[Tip] I had to share a simple Asian stirfry -"noodles" and veggies, low cal!
/u/skinnybutfluffy [5'2.5" | 126 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 16:22:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48oznd/i_had_to_share_a_simple_asian_stirfry_noodles_and/
---
Hey, ladies! This is half-tip, half-rave. :)


So I like to save up most of my calories for the evening because I become ravenous later in the day, which triggers my binges. This makeshift recipe results in a HUGE bowl of spicy teriyaki noodle and veggie stirfry for only ~235 calories!

You can easily split this up into numerous meals, use less of certain ingredients, or just make it your own with whatever sounds best to you! (--Please share your variations! I love changing it up! :) )



Ingredients:

-- Bag of Shirataki noodles - 20 calories for the entire bag (Drain, rinse WELL, and boil for 3-4 minutes! It gets rid of the off-putting taste and smell!)

-- Bag of Veggies - 120 calories for the entire bag (I use a BirdsEye steamer bag with broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots.)

-- 2 Egg Whites - 40 calories (They're really 34, but I over-estimate purposefully.)

-- Minced Garlic - 10 calories (2 tsp = 10 calories)

-- Chili Paste - technically 0 calories (I pile this onnnn; I love spicy food, though.)

-- Teriyaki Sauce - 45 calories (1 tbsp = 15 calories)


1. Bring water in sauce pan to a boil. While waiting, prepare your sauce in a bowl (teriyaki and chili paste) and begin steaming the veggies in the microwave.

2. Rinse noodles thoroughly and place in boiling water, then begin preheating your pan/wok with the garlic in it (I don't use oil to spare calories, but you definitely can!).

3. Drain veggies and throw them in the pan/wok. Pour a little bit of your sauce on these while they cook - save the majority of dat sauce for later, though!

4. Drain and add noodles - then crack your egg whites on top, add half of the remaining sauce, and stir it all up.

5. Let that cook, stirring periodically, until it appears the egg whites are cooked throughout and the dish is supermegaawesomehot.

6. Add remaining sauce, pour into a large bowl, and enjoy!

Even with me eating this as well as breakfast, lunch, and dessert, I'm clocking in at under 500 calories!

Also, I word vomit. Shit. Sorry for the wall of text.

[Rant/Rave] Morbidly obese mom and kids. A rant and rave.
/u/burtra12
Created: Wed Mar 2 15:21:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48opkb/morbidly_obese_mom_and_kids_a_rant_and_rave/
---
I love kids. I work at a school and I want to be a teacher. I know ED is not necessarily "healthy", but you, madam, are abusing your kids. Your son can't me more than 7 and is grossly overweight. Your daughter is maybe...11? And she's got an even worse fate because the teasing will be worse for her. Why is what you're doing considered socially acceptable, but I'm a monster? The only person I'm hurting is myself. I'm not ruining the lives of children, here. And the myth about how it's more expensive to eat healthy food has been proven false time and time again. The cold hard truth is you're lazy, you have no will power and discipline, and you're teaching your kids to be the same way. At least I have some self control. Poor kids. I don't have any because I don't want to screw them up with my problems. Maybe you should've done the same. End rant.

[Tip] Stay hydrated, lovelies! <3
/u/watchingwheels80 [5'5" | 129| 21.5 | -46 | F ]
Created: Wed Mar 2 15:13:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ooat/stay_hydrated_lovelies_3/
---
This is your reminder to drink enough water! Story below;

I've had a horrible week. I've been binging like crazy since Monday, and couldn't get it under control. I got on the scale this morning and it said I weighed ten pounds more than it said on Sunday morning! I realized it was water weight, and that's when something bigger hit me.

I've been dehydrated since Monday. I have barely drank anything, despite feeling thirsty. I just didn't FEEL like drinking, if that makes sense? But, that explains the binges, then! I've since drained my 28 oz. Gatorade bottle of water twice, and will continue to do so.

Lesson learned. I'm going to drink 28 oz WITH BREAKFAST from now on, in order to stave off binges!

[Intro] Well, I'm back. Relapsing.
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Wed Mar 2 14:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ocj6/well_im_back_relapsing/
---
Used to post here as u/Lady_Justice_ but I'd rather use a different account for this sub now.

I was in "recovery" (seeing a therapist twice a week, eating like a pig) since around mid-January or so. I've gained ten pounds in six weeks and it feels AWFUL. I can't take it anymore. My relapse was slow, but I fell back into all my old habits one by one. Mentally counting calories, starting to skip meals, eating slowly, cutting my food up into tiny bites, and all that. It felt... familiar. Comforting.

I can do this right this time. It's good to be back.

[Tip] Tip for controlling night snacking :)
/u/HiccupKitten [5'4" I 110.8 I 19.0 I -5 lbs I F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 13:42:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48o8c6/tip_for_controlling_night_snacking/
---

My evenings are ALWAYS when I crack and eat past goal calories. I've decided to not forbid any snacking, but instead allow celery and carrot matchsticks for myself if I'm peckish at night!

I've prepped them (cut, wash) and set them in a Tupperware labeled "105 SNACKS", as 105 is my current gw eating these for snacks will help me get there :)

So maybe try labeling whatever safe food you have with your gw as a reminder why you're doing this !

[Rant/Rave] [rant] Fucking awful week
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 13:25:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48o5fe/rant_fucking_awful_week/
---
I've had a dreadful last week (or more) and it's all down to stress eating. I've been hiting like 2k calories every day and now I'm scared to weigh myself. It's all been junk food and whatever I can get my hands on, zero nutritional value either. I hate how my body looks normally and now I can't stand to look in the mirror. I'm so angry at myself.

It's 20:30 now. I'm making a pledge to myself to never be like this again. Control.

[Rant/Rave] i am not vegan but it's such an "easy" excuse
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:53:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nzej/i_am_not_vegan_but_its_such_an_easy_excuse/
---
http://i.imgur.com/pN5mwiA.jpg

[Rant/Rave] My kinda-boyfriend is visiting me this weekend and I'm so anxious!
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:50:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nyso/my_kindaboyfriend_is_visiting_me_this_weekend_and/
---
I just want to get all of this down in writing so maybe I can stop fretting about it.

It looks like my ex and I are getting back together and he's coming to visit me this weekend. We broke up in December but haven't seen each other since October. I've lost about 15 lbs (142 -> 128) since he last saw me and I'm really nervous about what he'll think. I'm afraid it's going to be bad either way. If he thinks I look better thinner it's just going to reinforce my behavior and convince me that I was a fat ass. And if he is concerned or thinks I'm too thin then I'm just going to feel like shit about myself.

He also knows about my history with EDs and I told him right before we broke up that I was nervous because I felt myself slipping back into old habits. So he's going to know why I've lost weight. I want to see him so bad but I'm afraid that this is going to fuck everything up. I feel embarrassed and weak for not being able to eat like a fucking normal person. I just want to be the girl he fell in love with, and that girl wasn't afraid of a fucking sandwich.

[Intro] Long term lurker, first time poster
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:48:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nxxr/long_term_lurker_first_time_poster/
---
Hi! My name is Elizabeth. I've been lurking for quite some time, but I've never done anything on Reddit before, other than read this page and nosleep obsessively.

I've had body issues for a long time, off an on disordered eating. I'm at my highest weight right now, 162 I think, I haven't weighed myself in a long time, looking to fix that shortly. I guess my ideal weight would be 115, but I know with my body structure that probably won't happen, so I'll be happy with smaller goals: 155, 145, 130, 125. I generally restrict and exercise a shitton, so I guess that's what's next. I work as a line cook, which makes things difficult but that's part of the life I guess. I love food, but can't bring myself to eat it half the time. I also smoke a lot of weed, so the munchies hit hard. I used to run a weight loss Tumblr from 2011-2013, but fell out of it and don't use it anymore. Working 2 jobs atm, so timing is difficult from being tired all the time. I also just bought a condo, so there's a ton to do there, means I have to spend a little less on food and more on repairs/upgrades to my place. I live with my boyfriend, who also needs to lose some weight, but not like I do.

Just looking for support at this point. Probably won't post frequently, but just saying hello.

[Help] Fuck. I don't want to eat with them.
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:10:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48no57/fuck_i_dont_want_to_eat_with_them/
---
Instead of staying at a hotel in Greece as I'd planned, turns out we're staying with a family friend, which means that they'll cook and expect me to eat with them. I wanted to fast a couple days for my presentation on Saturday since I had such a taxing binge last night. I even packed some celery just in case I needed to eat something. Fuck.

I don't want to eat with them. Fuck. I don't know what to do.

[Thinspo] Before and after {not me}
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nmnd/before_and_after_not_me/
---
http://i.imgur.com/q5Ue363.png

[Rant/Rave] Coworker bought me a slice of cake (WHAT THE FUCK)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 11:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nl3u/coworker_bought_me_a_slice_of_cake_what_the_fuck/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] From my stats I'm "underweight"
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 11:53:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nl17/from_my_stats_im_underweight/
---
But why cant I see any bone? I know I've slipped up bad this last 2 weeks and gained 2 lbs but this is the most frustrated I've ever been. I cant seem to find any sort of control over myself. :(

[Help] [Help] A struggle between keeping a healthy weight and losing it.
/u/TheThinSister
Created: Wed Mar 2 11:31:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nh68/help_a_struggle_between_keeping_a_healthy_weight/
---
Just a heads up, this is also a little ranty. And please excuse grammar. I'm mobile and have to be kinda secretive with my screen.

EDs aren't new to me. It's been a pretty bad battle for the last 4 years. Right now I want to maintain a healthy weight since I'm sick. I haven't been underweight in a while and honestly, I don't want to be there again. Even at a healthy weight, I have a very low body fat. So when I'm underweight, my BF% reaches around 5%. This leaves me getting really sick quite often.

My issue I have is that because of my history with EDs, I tend either be all or nothing. And what makes it worse is that I'm home almost every day so stoned boredom eating can be an issue. It isn't even so much the munchies as much as boredom. What's even worse is my job requires me to look my best, so after the weekend (normal binge time), I'm bloated and having to do things to flush me out.

If it was just trying to gain weight, that would be fine, but I want to maintain as well. But to make it worse, another part of me wants to restrict so I can be skinny and have that flat stomach. When I eat, it tends to go like this... I eat a small meal, 40 minutes later I'm hungry. I then eat a little more. And then cravings to eat everything on earth hit. Then after about 3-4 days of this, I get under control. Eating like this leaves me bloated and gross when I need to look thin and sexy. It is even effecting my work.

I have zero control when it comes to snacking and when I eat, I don't feel fullness. Like even after eating 1700+ calories in an hour or so, I still feel hungry. I need to get my eating more under control so I can avoid binging but also eat in much a way to keep my stomach flat and looking my best. Idk how to do it.

[Goal] Goals in general, but really for March.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 11:15:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nece/goals_in_general_but_really_for_march/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Finally back into the 150s!
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 10:57:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nasz/finally_back_into_the_150s/
---
Pounds, of course. I know for a lot of you this sounds like a crazy amount of weight, but I last weighed in the 150s about four years ago, and I'm so happy to be getting closer to who I want to be.

[Goal] BMI success!
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 10:41:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48n81l/bmi_success/
---
For some reason I've always longed to see the day my bmi went under 20. And finally that day has come! I was so busy weighing myself and trying to see the change in the scale that I forgot to check my bmi and of course when I go to update my flair its under 20! Idk why this makes me feel a bit better, although I'm still far away from being classified as underweight, which is my next goal after I reach my next gw of 110lbs. And then 5lbs less and I'll be underweight. I just wanted to share this :)

[Discussion] Have you ever experienced this?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Mar 2 10:13:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48n30o/have_you_ever_experienced_this/
---
Eating the "normal" 1500 kcal for a few days, and do feeling bad about it but not too bad. This happened a few times to me now, it aren't binges, just three normal meals a day for about a week and then crashing super hard back into my ED behavior. It slows down my progress so much :(

[Goal] March Goals!!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 100 | 16.2 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 10:08:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48n1y4/march_goals/
---
Well today is actually the second of March, but I forgot about doing this yesterday, whoops! We've had posts about setting goals for the next month and talking about what goals we reached the last month and I wanted to keep the tradition going. These shorter term goals are really helpful!! [Here] (https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43jyvb/tomorrow_starts_a_brand_new_month_what_are_your/) is the post from February. Did you achieve the goals you set? What else did you accomplish the past month? What are your goals for March?

Much love to all of you! I know you have the willpower (and the support system here!) to accomplish anything you want! <3

[Discussion] couple hours into my first EC stack
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 09:46:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48mydj/couple_hours_into_my_first_ec_stack/
---
http://i.imgur.com/GLBjuyl.gif

[Rant/Rave] My need for external validation is fueling this.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 09:08:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ms0v/my_need_for_external_validation_is_fueling_this/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 2 09:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48mr26/daily_food_diary_march_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Does anyone around here have any 'stop drinking' inspo?
/u/anonyboo [5'11" | 197 | 26.6 | -3 | Female]
Created: Wed Mar 2 07:59:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48mgwz/does_anyone_around_here_have_any_stop_drinking/
---
Weight has slowly ballooned up over the last year and a half, and I'm pretty sure it's because of the drinking. I'd be at my goal weight by now if it wasn't for the booze.

I'm good, other than that. Carbs, sweet sugary things, all of that results in instant revulsion.

But you don't see calorie counts on booze, and you can't very well puke it up, at least not without extensive efforts.

How did anyone who has struggled with this get it really sunken in in their heads that whatever bottle of wine has 600-700 calories in it and one really ought to keep to moderation?

[Discussion] "New BMI" scale more accurate for short/tall individuals?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 07:35:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48mdcz/new_bmi_scale_more_accurate_for_shorttall/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] rant because i have noone else to talk too
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Wed Mar 2 02:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48lify/rant_because_i_have_noone_else_to_talk_too/
---
ive lost 12 lbs and im still the fattest ive ever been in my life. im restricting more and losing slower then ever. i went out tonight for the first time in a few weeks and everyone mentioned how skinny i looked, which felt good until i saw a pic of me from the weekend and I am legit a COW. my arm is the size of a leg! AH
and now this is "good" for me?
I got undressed and the mirror just showed flab and celulite. ive never looked this bad in my life, and my hair is thin and my color is meh. sorry for the rant, just alot of emotions and weird that many compliments can make me feel so much worse


[Tip] I would love some advice.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 02:10:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48le4u/i_would_love_some_advice/
---
I realised last night that I weigh 75.9(167.3lb's).. And I fucking lost it. I've given myself 2 weeks to repair this damage. I have a rocking exercise plan but I'm gonna have to be extreme. Today is wednesday and I'm planning on eating again on Saturday morning.
What would you recomend for that meal? Something that won't interfere my efforts. I felt kinda like 2 tamatoes or some fish?

[Tip] Tip to any midnight tokers out there
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 22:42:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ksq3/tip_to_any_midnight_tokers_out_there/
---
I smoke every single night. I smoke on average 2x a week during the day, but every single night. To fall asleep, to unwind, to distract myself from food by getting lost in art, books, movies, etc. I've struggled with munchies overwhelming me and bingeing at night. For some reason, in my high & disordered mind, I feel like those calories "don't count" if it's in the middle of the night and I pass out right after. It makes no sense, but it's making me maintain and I'm not having that. During the day munchies it's not an issue because I get high to go on nature walks or before the gym to zone in fully on working out.

Well I've been binge (even mini binge) free for the past 2 nights. I think the trick is that I filled my 32oz water bottle with half cold water, half diet cranberry juice (5 cal per 8fl oz). The cold sensation is AMAZING while stoned and the taste is tart and sweet and refreshing. I just keep grabbing for my water bottle to sip more and more like its a milkshake you can't stop reaching for. But it's not a milkshake, it's WATER!!!:) I'm hydrating and filling and eventually I fall asleep. Sure, I keep fighting the munchie sensations & desires in my head but I tell myself a firm, "No. You have your high food: 32oz cranberry water. Yes, a lot of other food would be amazing high, but you're choosing to enjoy this one." and somehow, I'm listening to myself and it's working.

So make water-based drinks, cold, for munchies! Note: my usual restriction munchie choice is decaf hot tea. I drink loads of it while stoned because it feels so warm and amazing and cozy inside you and I'm usually cold. But the cranberry water satisfies a deeper urge to binge because I want to taste the food and feel the sensation. Idk, it just fills the nagging void.

Toke on & stay lovely! <3

[Discussion] Bruises
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2.5" | 101.6lbs | 18.87 | -25.6 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 22:11:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48koxi/bruises/
---
Do any of you guys bruise easily? Whenever I restrict, I bruise super easily and it's usually how my family figures out that I'm back to being sick again. Is the bruising part of having an ed? How do you guys deal with bruising if that's a thing?

[Help] Buying Bronkaid in Greece?
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 22:00:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48kne3/buying_bronkaid_in_greece/
---
Do they sell Bronkaid or some similar product with ephedrine in Greece? Is there an age requirement or restriction on how much you can buy?
I can't seem to find much information about this online.

[Help] Help me! Im in need of guidance. ..
/u/Lsancheesy
Created: Tue Mar 1 21:42:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48kkt0/help_me_im_in_need_of_guidance/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Holy body dysmorphia batman
/u/alonelyturd [5'0 | 97.6 lbs | 20.07 | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 20:25:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k9kc/holy_body_dysmorphia_batman/
---
I went shopping today because I needed pants. I was hoping to find grey skinny jeans, but I was open to buying whatever fit.

Of the sixteen pants I picked up, all in the 0's/1's that usually fit, all of them were too big for me except for one pair. Turns out I had accidentally picked up a pair of 00's instead of the 0's I meant to grab! AND they were grey skinny jeans! And they fit!

So of course, instead of being thrilled I've gone down a size, I end up not buying them because they showed how huge my thighs were.
Then I went home and binged.

:c

[Rant/Rave] binge ruined what could've been a good day
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 20:04:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k6m9/binge_ruined_what_couldve_been_a_good_day/
---
had every intention of not eating after lunch today (would've left me around 700 for the day), but after studying for a while i suddenly got up and bought $55 worth of food, and some really indulgent shit at that. i don't have the funds or cals in my budget to be doing this!! i feel like a total failure. first EC stack tomorrow (shoutout to the massive flux of posts on this lately) so hopefully it'll be better, but as for today, i fucking hate myself

[Help] I tried to be better and now I feel worse
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 20:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k6bn/i_tried_to_be_better_and_now_i_feel_worse/
---
All the weakness and dizziness I've been feeling lately is scaring me so, I decided to change up the strategy. Instead of logging every food whenever I ate it, I would eat and log it all at night before bed. I hoped this would allow me to eat a little more because it would reduce the stress over every bite, but that my natural aversion to bad foods would keep me in check.

It went... questionably. I ate 1200 calories in the end, which is shit, but not exactly a true binge. I bought a latte, but managed to stop myself and throw it away after a few sips. Wasting money/food isn't ideal but better than drinking a cup of milk and sugar. Then I went out to happy hour at a place with a free nacho bar (I KNOW RIGHT?!?). Managed to avoid ordering any drinks but pigged out at the nacho bar.

So, I'm not sure what to do. Do I keep going and hope it settles out? Or do you guys have any ideas? It seems kind of impossible to settle on a middle ground between deep restriction and total hedonistic binging. I want moderate restriction to keep losing without compromising my ability to perform at work. Is this impossible?

In need of guidance
/u/Lsancheesy
Created: Tue Mar 1 19:57:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k5mh/in_need_of_guidance/
---
http://imgur.com/fFE2vnv

[Help] Favorite K-Cup Flavors?
/u/loveleigh33 [5'6"| 109.0| 17.66 | -78| F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 19:52:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k4sh/favorite_kcup_flavors/
---
Hi everyone! My roommate recently got a Keurig, which means I recently got a Keurig! (Yay for sharing and nice roommates!!!)
Does anyone have any recommendations for which k-cups to buy? I usually drink black coffee but I'm open to branching out! Thanks in advance! xx

[Thinspo] More thinspo doodles (older ones) + undertale doodle
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 19:46:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k402/more_thinspo_doodles_older_ones_undertale_doodle/
---
http://shangen010.tumblr.com/post/140307127279/some-old-sketches-from-my-old-sketchbook-i-filled

[Intro] Hi, just realized it's my cake day and thought I should introduce myself!
/u/GiveMeASmosh [5''2' | 101.2lb | 18.5 | -13lb | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 18:46:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48juh6/hi_just_realized_its_my_cake_day_and_thought_i/
---
Hello, I'm not really sure what to say here. I'm 17 years old and a fully licensed glider pilot! while this may sound cool, it's caused me to have an awkward struggle with my ED battle because there's a minimum weight to fly a glider! I've actually been around 102lbs for the past couple weeks but I hit a rough patch and gained two pounds the past couple days, I plan on being back down to 102 by march break for my trip to Florida.

Anyway thanks for being such a supportive subreddit. I hope to be more active in the next little while :)

edit for stupid typo

[Rant/Rave] Just a rant, sorry guys
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | CW: 105 | 20.1 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 17:32:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48jjkq/just_a_rant_sorry_guys/
---
I'm feeling terrible today, my entire drive home I just could feel how huge my stomach was. I hadn't eaten that much, probably 150 call for breakfast plus tea, coffee and carrots. But I felt terrible and depressed when I got home, and ended up eating tortillas and chocolate chips for dinner... then I took a bath (and could see my grotesquely bloated body) and had wine (more empty calories) and I just feel like breaking down. At least I'm not hungry. Sorry for the rant, just wanted to talk to someone who understood.

[Tip] When a song comes on the radio that speaks to you..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 1 17:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48jh4g/when_a_song_comes_on_the_radio_that_speaks_to_you/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Broke my fast too early before my conference...
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 16:28:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j9lk/broke_my_fast_too_early_before_my_conference/
---
... and I broke it with a huge binge. $40 worth of snack food down my bloody gullet. I feel absolutely disgusting and enraged with myself because I wanted to look fantastic when I present my paper in Greece on Saturday. I'll be on an airplane all day tomorrow (first class- they give you so much bloody food) and I'll probably be expected to eat with others when I get there as well. I ate all the food I was planning to give to my friends in Greece, and I'm a bloated fat-fuck of a whale. I can't even wear the dress I wanted because I didn't lose enough weight for it because I keep on fucking binging.

extra: I also realized that when I binged my heart rate went up to 130-150 bpm and I felt super hot. I'm really not sure what's up with that, but it was kind of scary

[Thinspo] Favorite/Good thinspos?
/u/rainydcys
Created: Tue Mar 1 16:06:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j64q/favoritegood_thinspos/
---
What are some models, celebrities etc. who help keep you all on track. I like to follow them on instagram because following pro-ana accounts gets people asking questions; my favorite is Alexis Ren and Kennedy Dawwn by the way, but I'd love some good less known ones!

[Rant/Rave] I can't wait to live on my own.
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 16:03:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j5o5/i_cant_wait_to_live_on_my_own/
---
I could binge and purge all I want with no
hiding. I could restrict with no hiding. I would be away form people who can forcibly hospitalize me. I could weigh myself everyday. I just want to be free to do as I please with my body.

I wouldn't have to worry about people finding out as much.

[Discussion] More interested in a girl if she has psych/image problems?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Tue Mar 1 15:45:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j2ut/more_interested_in_a_girl_if_she_has_psychimage/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I put down the pasta
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 15:40:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j1xs/i_put_down_the_pasta/
---
I put it down. I made a huge bowl and decided to binge and purge but instead I took 3 bites, put it down, and told myself I didn't like it. I don't. Even if I'm savouring the taste left in my mouth. I didn't eat 500 calories of pasta. I ate maybe 50. About 3 spoonfuls, mostly the carrots though, only like 5 noodles.

I did it. 82 pounds here I come!!

[Intro] [X-Post from r/TrueThinspo] We're up and running, come help us pick our subreddit rules!
/u/AlmondDarling [5'6.5" | 144.6 | 23 | -17 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 14:33:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48iqiu/xpost_from_rtruethinspo_were_up_and_running_come/
---
Hello everyone!

I am here to cordially invite you to join the discussion regarding subreddit rules currently open over at /r/TrueThinspo! Yes, getting the subreddit revived has taken much, much, much longer than I anticipated (which is my own fault, sorry!) but after some wonderful thinspo kick-off pictures provided by the absolutely amazing /u/somanyjellyroles, it is now time to sit down and discuss the subreddit rules.

So, like I said, feel free to stop by and subscribe (only if you want - you don't have to be subbed to contribute to the discussion) and join the talk regarding what rules everyone would like to see over in /r/TrueThinspo.

Have good days everyone :)

[Link to the new /r/TrueThinspo rules thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueThinspo/comments/48i421/open_discussion_subreddit_rule_changes/?ref=share&ref_source=link)

[Tip] Do you get dizzy when bending down and standing up too quickly? Work on your toe dexterity!
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 14:32:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48iqev/do_you_get_dizzy_when_bending_down_and_standing/
---
Hey y'all,

So I was cleaning my room today and I realized that picking shit up from the floor was way too much for me. I had to take breaks after every time I bent over and I was not a fan of that, but then it hit me. Pick things up with your feet and pass it to your hand, duh! It really helps and I'm not dizzy anymore.

*But I have short toes* I hear you say. So do I, but the aim is to get the thing between your big toe and your...index toe? Whichever the second one is called. Round things like pencils you can try and grab with the bendy part of your toes (like the bit on the underside where your toes meet your foot). Give it a try!

[Help] I hate how exercise makes my body look. Help?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 13:54:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ik0q/i_hate_how_exercise_makes_my_body_look_help/
---
First of all, I realize that this is completely irrational and probably all in my head. Exercise is healthy and it takes a lot of hard work to see significant changes and most people find athletic bodies attractive. I get it. But if anyone can understand, I'm hoping it's some of you.

I've always avoided exercise like the plague, but for the past two weeks, I've been doing core/glute/arm workouts every night for about an hour. Nothing too advanced, just basic routines on youtube, but I swear that I can already see changes in my body. I know two weeks is no time at all, and I'm sure that the changes I'm noticing are partly because I scrutinize my body much more closely than most people and because my perception of how I look is influenced by my feelings, but I also do think that the changes are objectively noticeable, especially right after I finish a workout. My abs, arms, and hips all look significantly more defined.

The problem is that they also look a lot bigger. I mean, I'm not saying that I like how I look without muscle tone... I look flabby and gross without it. But after I exercise, I feel enormous. I look at my new muscle definition, and I think it makes me look... *wider*. I swear that my thigh gap has gotten smaller. My arm muscles just serve to make my upper body look even more disproportionately large compared to my lower body than it did before (I have wide shoulders and narrow hips and it's always been a problem for me). I want Audrey Hepburn's body, not Ronda Rousey's.


At the risk of sounding lazy, every second of exercise is painful for me. I've always hated it. And then I look in the mirror after a workout and I feel even worse about my body and I wonder... is it worth it? Especially because it HUGELY increases my appetite... usually I have no problem restricting to 700 or below, but when I exercise, the next day I'm ravenous. Since I started working out, my weekly caloric average has jumped from 700 to 900, and **I haven't lost any weight**. In fact, I think I may have gained weight (the scale is 1.2lbs higher but it could be water retention). It's increasingly hard for me to eat below 1000, which is ridiculous, especially considering that I'm on ADHD meds. Again: Is it worth it?

I look at before/after pictures all the time, and when I look at the ones in r.fitness or r.progresspics, the "afters" for women with low BMIs who started working out and gained a little weight due to muscle mass always look much worse to me than the "befores." I mean, that's not always the case... I know that there have been a few times when I've looked at people's selfies in this sub and I can see the positive difference that muscle tone has made for some of you. But I don't know how you do it! I've talked about this problem in comments in this sub before, and a few kind people have linked me to youtube videos of routines that supposedly make your body look slimmer, and those are the ones I've been doing, but it doesn't seem to help.


Anyone have advice or feel the same way?

[Help] How to get enough protein while restricting? Also does losing weight too fast cause cellulite?
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'3.5| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 13:20:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48iedm/how_to_get_enough_protein_while_restricting_also/
---
I'm trying to restrict to max 500 calories a day, usually around 200-300, and it's been going pretty well. However, on mfp I noticed I get less than 10% of the protein I need daily. I feel like protein has so much more calories than vegetables and other things I eat, but how do I add protein in without going over? Also, I've noticed that my cellulite has become more noticeable, is this because I've been losing too much too fast and my skin can't keep up? Helpp

[Discussion] Random question: Did your feet get smaller when you lost weight?
/u/etizbabe [5'6" | 126 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 13:17:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48idvr/random_question_did_your_feet_get_smaller_when/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48idvr/random_question_did_your_feet_get_smaller_when/

[Help] Vascularity help!?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Tue Mar 1 13:12:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48icy0/vascularity_help/
---
I love and want the veiny forearms and hands so badly, but they dont get very pronounced particularly, is it body fat percentage? Or more the low calorie intake that is keeping them smaller and less raised, they are somewhat there during exercise, but barely...

[Goal] I can't wait to be classed as underweight
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Tue Mar 1 12:31:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48i5z4/i_cant_wait_to_be_classed_as_underweight/
---
I have gone from obese (222lbs) last january...to 146lbs now(almost 17, 20.5 bmi)and honestly, i cant wait to be able to say, yeah, i'm underweight.. After being called a fat piece of shit my entire life...i just want to be able to say i'm not classed as that anymore :( about just over a stone to go, and i'll be classified as underweight, maybe i'll get there, maybe not...Who knows really? I dont know when to stop

[Discussion] Literally nothing makes me happier than weighing in a pound lighter than the day before.
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 12:24:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48i4rl/literally_nothing_makes_me_happier_than_weighing/
---
I look forward to going to bed at night just so I can wake up and weigh myself. Is anyone else actually excited to check their progress? My mood for the day is completely determined by this. I'm happier when I'm down. I'm relieved when it's the same, and I'm depressed when it's up.

Does anyone use happy scale? I'm so obsessed with tracking my weight loss with it. I like to use the 'weight trends' section. I have my goal at losing 3/lb a week, my overall rate is 2.99 and my current rate is 3.4. I'm trying so hard to keep the current rate over 3!!

[Discussion] Any food service folks here?
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Tue Mar 1 11:57:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48i05x/any_food_service_folks_here/
---
So I work as a line cook and I am constantly having to taste food that I plate to see if it needs further seasoning. I really hate it. Constantly having to eat during my 10 hour work day. Any one else have to fight the war in your head about this?

[Rant/Rave] ED has made me a liar
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Mar 1 11:17:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hsne/ed_has_made_me_a_liar/
---
Anybody else deal with guilt from constantly lying to others to hide your restricting? My mom keeps asking if I'm losing weight in a healthy way and if I'm keeping my calories safe. I lie to her. My coworkers ask if I brought lunch. I lie to them. They give me snacks and I say thanks, then walk around the corner and trash them. My friends ask what I'm having for dinner, I tell them I already ate.


It makes me feel really guilty, especially lying to my mother.

[Help] Fasting help?
/u/critical_fluff [5'2 | 110 | 21.10 | -2| F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 11:07:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hqo7/fasting_help/
---
Hello lovelies,
I'm officially done with food. Restricting always ultimately ends in a binge, and my body is starting to hate the process of digestion and makes me miserable. I'm fasting from here on as long as I can to try to get some relief and also hopefully drop past my 110 plateau. Does anyone have tips for how to be safe, what to look for, distractions? Thank you xx

[Discussion] Lynn Chen writes letters to her body (relatable)
/u/sorry_ari
Created: Tue Mar 1 10:56:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hop9/lynn_chen_writes_letters_to_her_body_relatable/
---
http://theactorsdiet.com/2016/02/27/letters-to-my-body/

[Discussion] Plastic surgery as a reward for weight loss
/u/dbishop22
Created: Tue Mar 1 10:40:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hlr8/plastic_surgery_as_a_reward_for_weight_loss/
---
Is there anyone else considering plastic surgery when they get to their goal weight? My husband and I are considering getting pregnant this year, and I'm going to have a bmi of exactly 18.5 *with muscle*, but post-pregnancy, post-breast feeding (thank goodness for breast feeding, burns 10 calories per ounce), I'm considering a breast lift when I get back to pre-pregnancy weight.

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I want to eat so bad...
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 10:18:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hhpt/rant_i_want_to_eat_so_bad/
---
Okay so I'm currently at work and I can't stop thinking about food. I want to eat so badly I can taste it in my mouth. Especially junk food idk. I'm just glad I brought no food or money so I wont be able to eat anyways.

I think it's because I've been hitting new LW's everyday because before I hit 115 I wasn't getting any cravings, and 115 was my lowest weight.

Also I've been stressed out and very emotional. My depression is slowly creeping back and I can't stop thinking about how life has no purpose and what will I do when I reach my ugw? I have no goals in life except for that and idk I can see now that it's my depression talking.

I wanna hug someone ㅠㅠ


[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 1 09:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48h47i/daily_food_diary_march_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Apple cider vinegar shots
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Tue Mar 1 08:54:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48h2mk/apple_cider_vinegar_shots/
---
So my coworker and I are going to start taking an apple cider vinegar shot at lunch/instead of lunch. It takes apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, cayane pepper, honey and ginger mixed together and it's supposed to be good for your digestion and curb appetite.

Has anyone else done this and does it work? It's obviously not going to be the same as EC stack, but I like that it's more natural. I've used ACV for a lot of things, I've drank it straight so I know what the taste I'm in for is. It actually sounds kind of good all mixed together.

Will fair after post as I am on the app.

[Rant/Rave] That relief when you overeat/binge and still lose weight
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 08:16:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48gwdq/that_relief_when_you_overeatbinge_and_still_lose/
---
I think I ate somewhere from 2000-2500 calories. I'm not sure whether to call it a binge or not cause usually my binges are much larger.

Anyway, yesterday morning I was 18.4 and today I woke up at 18.2 I was so scared it's go up at least a tiny bit at least. Also my period has finally started which I'm happy about cause if I manage not to binge, I always lose more weight than usual that week.

[Rant/Rave] Hello, Old Friend! (Potentially TMI)
/u/TakeItOneDayAtATime [5'2" | CW 110 | 20.84 | -3 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 06:52:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ghn7/hello_old_friend_potentially_tmi/
---
I'm SO HAPPY and I couldn't think of anyone else to tell. I've been restricting pretty well for two weeks (only binged once) but I've only lost a pound since then. The past few days I'd been feeling extra bloated and puffy, and I'm pretty sure I've actually been GAINING weight (too scared to check) despite cutting back on sodium. Well, this morning, I was visited by Aunt Flo, which was 100% unexpected because I have a really messed up cycle. Hopefully this grossness is just hormones and water retention, the numbers on the scale will go down this week. I've been feeling so discouraged, today already felt like a binge day, but now I'm back on track baby!

[Goal] First day of Spring is March 20th.
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 06:23:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48gd83/first_day_of_spring_is_march_20th/
---
Today is the first day of a new month, but not just any month. This is the month the gloomy, cold winter turns into glorious spring! It's the season of renewal. What is your goal to reach by the first day of spring?

[Tip] I just discovered a great low cal pancake recipe (170kcal)--Really good if you want something sweet/chocolatey!
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 06:14:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48gbsh/i_just_discovered_a_great_low_cal_pancake_recipe/
---
So pancakes are a big weakness for me-- i love them and syrup but theyre like 200cals a pancake and thats just crazy. BUT i just tested a great low cal/healthy pancake recipe (which makes 4 medium sized pancakes--really fills your plate up in case you have to eat breakfast in front of people) and it was delicious! I had to share for any other people with pancake-weakness. (this is assuming you like bananas...sorry if you dont!)

* half a banana (55)
* tbsp cocoa powder (10)
* 1/4 cup of oats (75)
* 2 egg whites (30)
* pinch of cinnamon (0)

Thats 170 calories for four pancakes! and they filled a dinner plate for me; you could totally eat two and be satisfied for the morning, idk why i even ate all four im actually too full now :/

Theyre a little dense with the oats, so Id recommend spreading the batter out to make thinner cakes. Also you can sub out the cocoa for shredded coconut if youd prefer that. Im sure someone could even find a low cal substitute for the oatmeal if youre so inclined!

Just wanted to share, they definitely satisfied my sweet tooth for me.

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A March 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 1 05:02:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48fx8m/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_march_01_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] Hold me accountable!/Does anyone want to start March fresh?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 1 03:44:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48fpdi/hold_me_accountabledoes_anyone_want_to_start/
---
[removed]

[Help] CONSTIPATED
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Tue Mar 1 02:28:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48fho0/constipated/
---
havnt pooped in a month
daily food
oatmeal
turkey
chocolite
eggs or peanut butter
rice cakes
tried prunes
lots of coffee.
taken colace for a weed and barely anything ... those who use laxitivesl.. what works?

[Discussion] Girls who are on the injection / DEPO VERA.
/u/losemore [5'10 | 145 | 20.8 | -44 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 01:13:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48f9hb/girls_who_are_on_the_injection_depo_vera/
---
So last week I had my first contraceptive injection of the depo Vera, and I've noticed the last two days I've been feeling so so hungry!! But it's not that kind of "if I don't eat something I'll pass out" hunger, it's more the "bored" type of hunger. I've been finding it really hard to restrict because of this :(
I know that some of the side effects of the depo vera is weight gain and I can see why now. Girls who are on the injection, have any of you guys experienced increased hunger? I would love to hear some feedback!

Edit* Spelling

[Intro] Intro/Feedback on my GW?
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 00:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48f2co/introfeedback_on_my_gw/
---
Hi, I've lurked and commented but this is my first introductory post. :)

I'm not sure my stats are updated in my flair (I'm on mobile) but I'm F/5'10"/161 with 15-20 pounds down. I was underweight my freshman year of high school, then got to about 155. Senior year I was either 160 or 165. Three years later, about two or three months ago, I stepped on the scale and was over 180. That freaked me out completely and absolutely was set on losing weight, not my half assed previous attempts. I am currently fluctuating between 500-1000 cals a day.

Anyway, my current goal is 145, and then reassess when I get there. I don't want to get my loved ones all freaking out on me again, but I would also like to be underweight, as I'm planning to be on a school sports team next year and with 4 hours of workouts a day I'll probably put on some muscle. What do you guys think I should aim for?

[Discussion] Anyone else suffer from anemia?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 23:02:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48euy8/anyone_else_suffer_from_anemia/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Just a happy compliment I revieved
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:55:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48em8t/just_a_happy_compliment_i_revieved/
---
Ive never been able to wear shorts, at least not in the past few years. Well the other day I've realized my thighs aren't as large as they were and I can probually fit into shorts and I did! Motivated me to buy some more! So I bought my first pair of high waisted shorts and I tried on a large (wide hips, which is one thing I love about my body) and the lady at the register goes, you do realize these are a large, right?

I don't think she realized how much that little comment made my day :3

[Rant/Rave] This past week has been hell.
/u/skin_ny [5'9.5" | 113.6 | 16.19 | -44 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:26:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ei5r/this_past_week_has_been_hell/
---
I've been binging (3k calories avg) a day every day since Monday last week. The scale currently reads 120 when I weigh myself in the morning. I have 3 midterms in the next week and I'm scared as hell. I can't gain anymore. It took me so long to lose it all the first time.

How do you get all your shit done without stressing out and eating pastries and crap? I've been so bloated and I feel so helpless. I'm going somewhere for spring break and I just want to be back where I was before I get there. (so I have 10 days...)

Please help if you have any input at all! I already take Vyvanse (which should kill my appetite) but it doesn't seem to matter when I'm this stressed out. I just stuff myself regardless.

[Rant/Rave] I'm down 3lbs and binging less
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:10:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48efy4/im_down_3lbs_and_binging_less/
---
Mobile - no flair

After a scary bout of heavy binging and purging, i made a decision to try to be healthier about my ED. I had started having the teeth nightmares again... crumbling... falling out... so i decided to try restriction, which is something i havent done in about a decade. For some of you, what im doing is probably barely a restriction at all, but as a chronic binge eater... the fact that i have stayed under 1400 calories for 6 of the past 8 days is huge for me. Other than a 2100kcal binge last night after fasting for 24hrs and a super emotional day, i have been slowly ticking down to below 1200. My goal is an average of 1100, just because i am hyper conscious of my low blood pressure and chronic tunnel vision. I cannot risk fainting. I can't. I am happy to say i weighed 127lbs today. Thats ~3 down in 1.5 weeks. I am excited. I am motivated. I am exhausted. I stocked up on loads of sugar free candies, and I'm using MFP to make sure the calories i eat are maximum nutrient and protien and minimum carbs... and im making sure to save room for a glass of wine in my calculations...

My thighs still touch the whole way up. But... at the very top theres just a sliver... there's a light...

[Rant/Rave] I can't believe how amazing primatene is
/u/thindreaming [5'8 | 159.6 | 24.3 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:05:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ef6i/i_cant_believe_how_amazing_primatene_is/
---
I've been taking it for 7 days (I do not plan to take it every day in future though) but omg it's amazing. I have always had troubles with b/p and intense cravings, but I have not had any for this past week. Even while on adderall/vyvanse I would get cravings while not actually feeling hungry, which would lead me to give in sometimes.

But this is amazing <3 its like the first time I've been hopeful that it IS possible for me to break the b/p cycle and manage cravings

just wanted to share!

[Goal] Binge-Free March 2016?!?!?!
/u/loveleigh33 [5'6"| 109.0| 17.66 | -78| F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:01:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48eenc/bingefree_march_2016/
---
Join meeeeeeeee!

I want a perfect, proper 31-day month of me not being a [fatass](http://imgur.com/ztMN3Ef).

[Rant/Rave] My mom doesn't get it, fine by me
/u/bellatrixcat
Created: Mon Feb 29 20:44:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ec6p/my_mom_doesnt_get_it_fine_by_me/
---
So when I used to live at home, I would tell my mom I was just limiting my calories as to not scare her shitless. She'd see me only having a coffee in the morning and a chicken breast and salad at night, and I'd always tell her about my recent changes in my physical appearance. I casually said that my intake was around 500 and she did not seem miffed at all. That being said, I'm moving back home soon and I'm excited for people not to be worrying about my eating habits as much. Lucky for me it's easy to restrict at home because I'm not responsible for buying my food so what's there is there and it's usually just fruits and greens, so happy to get back on track soon. :)

[Help] Ugh, having some issues and feel utterly alone. I could google answers, but I just really want the connection & support of you all.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 19:42:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48e2wv/ugh_having_some_issues_and_feel_utterly_alone_i/
---
Ugh. What. The. Everliving. Fuck.

I got on the scale today and it was 3 pounds over my absolute "NO" weight. I've been crawling in my skin all day. I want out. I feel stifled and permanently sloppy and out of control. I haven't been binging per se, but I haven't been the BEST at restriction this past week. I feel like I got too comfortable with working out and eating to "gain muscle" and started to out-eat my workout.

But idk. Water weight? Idk. Period coming? Idk. Idk idk idk. I just feel so large and disgusting.

Basically, I restricted all day today really well. But when I did eat, it was heavily protein. Now my stomach has sharp shooting pains and I'm bloated as fuck. So I did something I only did once ever, I took two 5mg women's laxatives. 2 hours ago.

My question is, when will they hit? When can I feel relief? I feel like my stomach is a bloated, constipated, weight-inducing mass. I want to feel free and light and tiny and flat again. I don't feel ANYTHING but bloat right now. Do laxatives ever NOT work? I have no tolerance to them because last time I took any was well over a year or even two ago.

Idk, just, can someone fill me in on laxative use? I'm an anxious, overwhelmed, fucking disgusting, fucking sloppy, really really alone mess.

[Discussion] I always thought my anorexia was a coping mechanism for my anxiety, but what if it wasn't?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 19:13:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48dykp/i_always_thought_my_anorexia_was_a_coping/
---
I started restricting around age 12 because I discovered one day, while spitting out a mouthful of gummy worms in the bathroom of East Side Mario's, that not eating/controlling my food reduced my severe anxiety. I learned that the less I ate, the lower my anxiety got.

We didn't even know I had a problem with anxiety again until I was 18 when I started really working on the ED behaviours and the anxiety came back full force because I had no coping mechanisms for it without the ED behaviours. Now, at 21, after 2 years of intensive therapy I'm not anxious at all. I've been healthier mentally in the last year or so than I ever thought possible. But now I find myself struggling with the ED thoughts again? I don't have anything I need to cope with, but here I am once again finding myself restricting and over-exercising and obsessing over numbers in my old OCD ways. Am I just destined to be self-destructive?

If anyone has any insight it would be greatly appreciated.

[Rant/Rave] I fell sexy when
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 19:05:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48dxcb/i_fell_sexy_when/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Any advice on what foods to break a fast with?
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 18:22:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48dqq8/any_advice_on_what_foods_to_break_a_fast_with/
---
I had a terrible bingy weekend and probably gained 5 pounds, I kid you not.

I fasted all of today, but tomorrow night I'm having dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. What is the best thing I can eat tomorrow to break the fast? I will not be eating until dinner. Also, I'm a vegan so that restricts some options.

I know this doesn't make sense but I just want it to be the healthiest and most nutritious thing possible but I don't even know how many cals would be okay.

[Rant/Rave] My body scares me
/u/fire-child [5'7" | idek | f]
Created: Mon Feb 29 16:33:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48d9mx/my_body_scares_me/
---
I know this sounds different from what people with ED's usually say about their bodies. I was looking at myself earlier today (keep in mind I don't do it often and my BDD isn't that bad) and it was scaring me. I'm very bony in some places and very soft/pudgy in others. I'm only 18 years old but my boobs are sagging so badly. They got smaller with weight loss but they sagged before my weight loss so the ED isn't to blame.

Bottom line is, when I saw myself in the mirror, I wasn't ashamed or motivated to lose more weight. I was just terrified because I couldn't figure out what I was looking at. My body looks disturbing and deformed and I'm scared to look at it again. I can't tell how much of this is mental illness and how much of it is me just having an ugly body. Sorry, I didn't know who else to tell about this. :(

[Discussion] What do you do to prevent stress eating or distracted eating?
/u/xsprincess [5' 8" | 114.5 | 17.22 | 5.5 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 15:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48d06q/what_do_you_do_to_prevent_stress_eating_or/
---
Let's do another survey!

I've been trying to find which coping mechanisms make it easiest to prevent the compulsion to eat outside of hunger.

Things that work best for me are:

-removing myself from the environment

-crocheting (can't eat if your hands are busy)

-Doing my nails

-Wearing a dress or too tight pants that I want to fit into. I find the dressed up feeling helps me want to stay nice and empty feeling and the pressure of my pants against my belly is a constant reminder of how unnecessary eating would make it bulge more

-last resort: sucking on SweetTarts. 50 cal for eight pieces. I suck on them on the roof of my mouth so my tongue is running over them and they last a really long time. I usually only do a max of four and it takes a long time so it gets me through peak binging times. Also, I don't let myself do it more than once or twice a day.


Je suis douse et gentille. Jaime une bonne blague et la stabilite dans la vie. Jaime visiter les bons restaurants avec mes amis. QEOud8gVJ4
/u/voigrumin
Created: Mon Feb 29 15:25:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48cxlj/je_suis_douse_et_gentille_jaime_une_bonne_blague/
---
http://dirtforyouth.com/22720160226.php#j2zhZv

[Tip] This nifty calculator
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Mon Feb 29 15:06:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ctp6/this_nifty_calculator/
---
[It tells you how much weight you'll lose in how much time!](http://www.healthyweightforum.org/eng/calculators/weight-loss/)

It's really helpful in planning and motivation and setting calorie goals(:

[Help] To eat or not to eat
/u/Arc_cake [5'5 | 149.6 | 25.19 | -6.2 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 15:02:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48csv8/to_eat_or_not_to_eat/
---
Today I got up late and therefore missed breakfast, I was in a rush so i went and got coffee on the way to school but didn't get any food. It's turned into an accidental fasting day but I don't know if I should eat something, I have the shakes but am not hungry. The first day is always the hardest for me so I'm hoping if i don't eat today I can fast for longer, but the shakes are bad and I drank some Gatorade but it hasn't helped much. After fasting for a while though I tend to binge because my body is completely irrational. Should I risk eating and going into a binge or just wait it out??? I do have work soon.

[Tip] [Tip] Arctic Zero
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2" | 105.0lbs | 19.11 | -21.6 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 14:09:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ci33/tip_arctic_zero/
---
I just discovered some really low calorie ice cream!!! I just found Arctic Zero and I was able to eat a whole cup of ice cream for only 70 calories. It actually tasted good and helped me with my period cravings. I had the cookie shake flavor and it was absolutely delicious.

[Help] Bulking with an ED
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Mon Feb 29 13:45:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48cd98/bulking_with_an_ed/
---
I know i need to gain muscle..i went from obese at 15 yrs old...to now "healthy" bodyweight at 5 11" (146lbs)... Ive been told, i should up my calories and gain some muscle now, but i just cant bring myself to do it, and its killing me, i just want that six pack, and lean muscly figure, but i cant do it...anyone else have the same struggle
http://imgur.com/a/aP3o1 my change...

[Goal] I have a deadline
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Mon Feb 29 13:41:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48cc6y/i_have_a_deadline/
---
I'm going on a trip to L.A in May and I desperately want to be beautiful by then. I want to be able to enjoy the beaches and hot weather and not worry about how gross I look. I need to weigh 82 pounds by then. I have 2 months to lose 10.5 pounds.

I have too.

[Thinspo] not me (unfortunately). hot damn.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149.6 | -7 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Feb 29 13:09:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48c4qx/not_me_unfortunately_hot_damn/
---
http://imgur.com/eolF1hB

[Help] Sports game with husband. I'm fasting. Help.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149.6 | -7 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Feb 29 13:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48c33b/sports_game_with_husband_im_fasting_help/
---
First day of fast bc i binged on the weekend partly to get my husband to not be suspicious anymore, he knows i had an ed before i met him and he made little side comments about "you barely ate anything today" or coming home from work and asking if i ate today. getting waaaay too suspicious. so i gained a pound, yuck. but today im going to a sporting event with him and his family, and thats great, but you know how everything there is just grease on top of calories on top of fat, and i dont know what to eat. im vegan, so at least my options are very limited, but if i dont get something im afraid my husband will suspect. what do i do? any advice would be very appreciated

[Discussion] Refinery 29 Article: "This Is What Living With Body Dysmorphic Disorder Is Really Like"
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 12:23:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48bw1x/refinery_29_article_this_is_what_living_with_body/
---
http://www.refinery29.com/2016/02/103892/body-dysmorphic-disorder?utm_content=everywhere&utm_medium=editorial&utm_campaign=160229-body-dysmorphic-disorder

[Tip] [Tip]Congee
/u/kilyia
Created: Mon Feb 29 11:09:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48bikg/tipcongee/
---
I love rice but rice doesn't love me. Usually I would just limit my intake to 1/4 cup cooked/meal but that still adds up and it's hard to get an accurate measurement as the volume that fits into 1/4 cup depends on how tightly packed the rice is.

Congee has solved this problem as it is very high volume but low calorie. It's rice porridge made with 1/4 cup raw short grain rice and 5.75 cups of water. You boil it for 10 mins then simmer the heck out of it for like 1.5-2 hours and wind up with 5.75 cups worth of semi-thick rice porridge. I added a little ginger, some scallions, garlic, and salt, pepper but you can use other spices.

Edit: So it settled a little bit and ended up being 4-6 1/2 cup servings which makes each serving between 30-50 calories each. Adding more water will help dilute it even further and reduce the amount of calories per serving. Still I am pretty thrilled that 200 calories of rice is going to last me 4-6 meals.

[Help] Help! I work in a restaurant
/u/ThinHappiness [5'2"| 125 | 22.9 | -15lb | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 11:07:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48bi84/help_i_work_in_a_restaurant/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 29 09:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48avo2/daily_food_diary_february_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] rant
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 07:27:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48afcu/rant/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] My anti-thinspo today makes me feel bad.
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 124.4 | 21.77 | -35lbs. | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 06:56:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48aaxf/my_antithinspo_today_makes_me_feel_bad/
---
Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't been contributing here as much lately. We went on vacation, and I ate like it! I'm still trying to get back to where I was before I left. Only a couple of pounds to go!

So, last night, I was talking to my best friend on the phone, and he was telling me about his very late dinner he was having. He struggles with his weight, and has periods where he tries really hard to lose, but then lets things get in his way and he falls off the wagon. I try and be supportive while not being too pushy because he really hates that. I was so annoyed though, because he knows I'm trying to lose weight, and he kept talking about all this food he ordered. Fried chicken, fried catfish, french fries, mac and cheese, jalapeno poppers, fried okra, and brownies. It's like he wants to make me eat bad too so he doesn't feel guilty. Honestly though, it's had the opposite effect. I was so disgusted I haven't been able to think about food today. I feel bad using my best friends weight loss struggle as anti-thinspo, but I just can't help it. I'm really grossed out. His excuse was that he read on the internet that eating greasy food would help with his hangover. Yeah, he was hungover from drinking and binge eating the night before. He just lost like 20lbs and at this rate he's going to put it all back on in a couple of weeks. Do you guys have friends like this?

[Rant/Rave] Semi-recovery Rant and Question
/u/ChuushaHime [5'2" | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 06:32:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48a7fu/semirecovery_rant_and_question/
---
I've been semi-recovered (period has returned, not cold all the time anymore, able to eat almost normally, able to digest things much better than before, muscle has returned) for about a year now. I gained weight very quickly due to binge eating because of a breakup and then slowly lost most of it when I stopped binge eating and hovered around a healthy 800-1500 calories a day. I've been having feelings of frustration and anger with my body recently because I'm almost back down to the size/measurements I was when I was very very sick, but withOUT restricting, compulsive exercise, etc. I know that logically it means my metabolism has picked back up and works normally, but I'm angry at my body for not keeping that metabolic rate. I'm angry that I don't have to put forth any effort to be small now, but before my life was hell just to maintain a size not much smaller than I am currently. I'm angry that it was so much work, so much torture, and the payoff was so little. I know that's just biology: your body is starving, so it slows itself down. But I exercised for 3 hours a day on 500calories as opposed to now when I exercise for 30 minutes and eat up to 1500 and the difference is MADDENINGLY slight. I used to get so angry and worked up over people who were healthy and skinny at the same time. Why did they get that luxury when I had to torture myself to look like that? Why do I get that luxury now but I didn't before? Again, I know the logical answer. But I'm furious at my body for slowing down. I'm furious with biology.
/endrant

My question is: as I mentioned in the rant, I'm losing and am almost down to where I was before when I was ill, but in a healthy way. I am very, very tempted to crashdiet to get back down to that size and then stop and see if I can maintain healthfully. But I'm not entirely sure if that's possible. Does anyone have experience with trying a temporary crashdiet after they are "recovered" from an ED? Was it successful or did you slip back into your ED? Do you think it's possible to do this without slipping back into an ED? If I post this anywhere else I know I'm going to get "don't crashdiet it's bad" and "you're obviously not recovered if you're thinking like this" and will only get opposition rather than an actual answer to the question. I am not asking for tips or advice or endorsement, only a genuine answer.

edit: clarifying a statement

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! February 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 29 05:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/489w3k/weekly_stats_update_february_29_2016/
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This is the weekly status thread for February 29, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] can you answer some questions?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 04:34:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/489sqr/can_you_answer_some_questions/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] I look better in the evening?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Mon Feb 29 01:03:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4896c7/i_look_better_in_the_evening/
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Anyone else get this? Idk if its just a result of better lighting when its darker, that makes me look more muscular and lean, or just being to the gym, but i swear i look better, in the morning i wake up and look frail and thin, whereas in the evening i actually look somewhat muscly, rather than still just fat?

[Rant/Rave] Why does everyone have such high numbers they "think" I should weigh??
/u/Wantminime [5'1" | 139lbs | 27.5 | -41lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 00:58:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4895mj/why_does_everyone_have_such_high_numbers_they/
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I'm an athlete (MMA type wrestling) and I'm in graduate school surrounded by pre-healthcare professionals....aka, people who should know a thing or two about weight.... And EVERYONE who asks me what my goal weight is super quick to tell me that 100 pounds is far too low. My real goal is 90! assuming I don't decide to bulk on muscle back to 100.

I'm 5'1.5 but I've started telling people I'm 5'0 just so they'll give me a few more pounds. Even with that, they say I shouldn't go below 125-130. That's only 15-20 pounds less than I am right now! I can still grab fistfuls of fat on my (unslouched) stomach, not to even mention my thighs. I seriously don't understand. Do my clothes hide the weight that well?? I'm a 4/6 (27/28) in what I think are non-vanity sized clothes (fucking 0-2 at old navy, they're crazy) and I try to dress well, but I'm only okay at it. Bad photos, but the most recent I currently have: http://imgur.com/a/kOeh6. I was like 148 in the underwear pic, but look at it! That's not a body that's 15 pounds overweight. That's like 50.

When I tell them by BMI my goal is in the middle of a healthy range, they tell me that BMI is crap and I shouldn't listen to it.

Maybe I should have kept how much I weigh a secret when I started losing weight in November. But that's hard to do when wrestling is about weight classes.


Ugh! /rant

[Help] Really need someone to talk to about my issues surrounding food and self harm...
/u/cat_turd_collector
Created: Sun Feb 28 22:25:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/488lpu/really_need_someone_to_talk_to_about_my_issues/
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I am a 22 year old male to female trans woman and ever since I started transitioning I have developed worse and worse eating habits. I really need to get this out because I feel that I have become more and more erratic and my self harm is getting worse.


I started my transition in July 2014 after my partner of 3 years committed suicide. I knew I was trans before then but never really took transitioning seriously. After she died I focused very hard on transitioning. At this time (July-November 2014) I was about 175 pounds (5'10"). It wasn't until December 2014 when I started passing regularly and really began hating my body. I started cutting down my calories until I was only eating about 400 a day and started cutting more and more if I over ate. I lost about 20 pounds over the course of a couple months and got my weight down to 155 (February 2015). At this point my body looked okay compared to what it was at but I just focused more and more on the "problem areas". For the past year I have been slowly losing weight (currently 150) but self harming and cutting a lot because I'm not restricting like I was. I purchased Primatene this past friday and I felt like I could easily go all day without eating anything. I know I will end up losing a lot of weight quickly like I did last time but I have destroyed my arms and my legs in the process because of the cutting and my weight loss will never be "good enough".



I'm at the point where even though I have never been this skinny in my life I feel fatter than ever. I self harm a few times a week as punishment for eating. I really don't know what to do. When all my issues roll into themselves at the same time (anxiety, depression, trauma from witnessing ex's suicide, parental abuse) I self harm. Eating to me has become synonymous with pain and torture. Yet I feel like a piece of shit because I'm eating and not thin enough. I don't feel like any of my struggles have merit because I'm not extremely skinny and I don't have disordered eating habits and I'm just somehow "making it up".

[Rant/Rave] He left me, and I had my first successful fast day.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 28 21:31:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/488cyx/he_left_me_and_i_had_my_first_successful_fast_day/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Ranting
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|142.6 lbs|22.7|-11.2 lbs|F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 21:21:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/488bf0/ranting/
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So for the past month I've been trying to be happier. I thought that somehow, I was worthy of health and happiness. After some nudging from some friends, I decided to get help and made an appointment with the school psychiatrist. She was really lovely and helpful. But I can't stop thinking about all this shit.
My weight. How fat I am. How I've lost control.
Part of me is telling me I'm weak and I don't deserve happiness until I'm back in control and losing weight again.
I'm just really sad cause it's constantly a war in my head. Do I get better? Do I say fuck it?
When I started eating more, my studying and grades improved. I was pleasant to be around. But I so desperately want to be back into control.
Sorry for the venting. I just needed to get this out of me

[Rant/Rave] I wish I had a friend that really understood me
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 97.0 | 17.66 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 20:44:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4885yg/i_wish_i_had_a_friend_that_really_understood_me/
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I wish I had someone I could go hangout with who wouldn't push me to go out at bingey junk food places. Someone who could agree to hang out for the day on zero calorie tea and maybe a 300 calorie splurge at a hipstery salad bar.

I wish I could talk to someone in person about how restricting is hard or about how I love feeling thinner without them getting worried or upset. I wish I had someone in person who would go out on walks or runs with me for fun instead of staying in all day and playing video games.

I want someone in real life to 100% get me, get having an ED, without sending me to a doctor for it. Someone who can say "I know, me too".

I don't have that. When I can't sleep at night thinking about how much food is or isn't in my stomach, or I'm focusing on how my hipbone feels pressing into the mattress, or planning my meals for tomorrow, I don't have anyone I can just late night text about it.

But, you guys are here. This sub is the closest thing I have and I love you all for it. You're all the most wonderful support anyone could ask for.

That's all. Couldn't sleep. Didn't have anyone to text to about this. Thank you.

[Discussion] Would doing a 3-day fast every week be too much/how often do you fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 28 20:15:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4881qz/would_doing_a_3day_fast_every_week_be_too_muchhow/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] The scale just told me I lost 4.6 lbs in 3 days
/u/xsprincess [5' 8" | 114.5 | 17.22 | 5.5 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 19:35:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/487vzn/the_scale_just_told_me_i_lost_46_lbs_in_3_days/
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