[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 4 10:03:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dbpv8/daily_food_diary_april_04_2016/
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This is a daily food diary thread for April 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Intro] I'm in control.
/u/smooshie_sandwitch [5'1" | 128 | 24.2 | -32 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 09:44:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dbmow/im_in_control/
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This is my intro, I suppose. I've never posted here before and I didn't think I would ever post here. I'm relapsing after years and years of "normalcy". It finally dawned on me yesterday that I've fallen back under the spell of anorexia because of WHY I was fasting. I make excuses like, "intermittent fasting is good for you", "I'm giving my digestive system a break", "I need to 'detox'". But all of that is a bunch of bullshit. I'm doing it because it's impossible for me to resist the high I get from proving to myself how much discipline I have. I'm so good a saying "I don't want food today" and just not eating. I don't know how I got so good at it, other than falling in love with feeling like I'm super powerful and in control. My life is crazy right now. Typical work, relationship, financial problems. With all the bullshit, I feel like I can't see anything clearly right now. But starvation is like the one thing I have on lock. I'm good at this one thing. I'm in charge of this one thing. I'm taking comfort in this one thing.

EDIT: Because I'm new and wasn't sure what to expect, I just want to let you know that I appreciate your comments and upvotes more than you know. I feel like I've been welcomed home. So thank you.

[Rant/Rave] It's a good day.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 09:23:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dbj4s/its_a_good_day/
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Down half a pound, despite binging on Saturday (2025 cals) and eating crap food on Sunday (pizza, wings, beer). I think what helped is that most of Sunday I hadn't eaten anything as I was too busy grocery shopping, taking care of baby, etc.

We had some friends come over for Wrestlemania and they brought the pizza, wings, and beer. I had a half slice of pizza, about 8 wings, and 1 beer, but because I had unconsciously fasted all day, my total cal intake was only 1270.

Later that night (tmi) the crap food did NOT sit well with me so it uh, made quick exit out of my body. I went back to bed feeling empty, light, better. When I woke up, BAM! half a pound down, only 5.5 more to go.

Even though its a crappy and cold Monday, I feel good, renewed, and re-motivated. I managed to buy a lot of safe foods yesterday as well as measuring utensils to keep in my office.

I even liked the way my body looked this morning, and I'm hella sore from my morning exercise, I even beat the Wii u fit trainer during the push up challenge. :)

Its funny how a positive mindset translates to positive feelings regarding my body. Yet when I feel guilty and binge-y I see my body as a fat sack of shit.

Ahh, if only I could sustain this positive mojo for the rest of the week/month/year!

[Discussion] Cassie in Skins!
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Apr 4 08:38:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dbc0z/cassie_in_skins/
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I've seen her pop up so much when looking for thinspo and I avoided the show when it was first on TV.

I saw it on Netflix so I gave it a go and JESUS it's just eerily relatable. Her binge drawer is just like mine, her attitudes and behaviour. It's just so well done.

[Rant/Rave] Broke the forever-lasting plateau...and all I needed was just a day of b/p free. Never worth it.
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Mon Apr 4 08:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4db9xl/broke_the_foreverlasting_plateauand_all_i_needed/
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I'm afraid to update my flair because I want to wait until I have a good week of consistency, but I am a smudge under 95 now. I had a month or so of lazy binging/purging. Then last week, I had two days of b/p free and the number finally budged from the 96s-97s. All I needed was one day to reset myself, and it helped me have another good day later that week.


It's still early morning, but I am already thinking about b/p. I can't, but the voices are so strong. But I can't. I have to lose weight.


I don't know. I thought about the post I made some months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/401q0o/just_a_thank_you_for_the_accountabilitysupport/


I want to scoff at my old self, thinking 95 would be some sort of accomplishment. Amateur, I can do better than that. I don't know what she was thinking, thinking this was in any way good enough. There is so much work to do. This is such a pathetic life, but I just know it needs to be done.


So 90 is next. Then 85, and then maybe a little under 85, and then I will wake the hell up, go into treatment, and be a productive citizen.

[Discussion] What do you consider breaking a fast, and what do you allow yourself to consume during a fast?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 08:05:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4db774/what_do_you_consider_breaking_a_fast_and_what_do/
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I was dumb and got mad cravings. I made like this cookie dough for one thing, and it got all soupy. Pretty sure I broke my fast with that even if it was a liquid :/ I wasn't even 12 hours in yet! Sigh ;_; I just restarted it anyway.

I was reading up on fasting and how to break it, and apparently spikes in blood sugar can break a fast? So does that mean I can't have milk? And blending fruits and veggies (smoothies) break them too I guess?

I'm also contemplating if I can just eat jello for the next few days, since I just bought a couple of packs. No diet soda at home unfortunately.

[Goal] Finally the scale is moving!
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 07:59:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4db6dj/finally_the_scale_is_moving/
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I'm now 95 lbs. Nice, round number. I stalled at about 97 for the longest time, partly because I binged and purged so much and partly because I'm at the day treatment/partial hospitalization/whatever it should be called and I have been eating a bit more there because of the pressure from the treatment team.

My doctor said that I should spend another month at the day treatment. I tried to say no, but finally agreed. Now I'm not sure what I should do - should I try to maintain for a month to get them off my back and continue losing after I get out of there? But I'm not sure if I'm able to, losing feels so good and I'm kind of obsessed getting under 95... (I know I should even consider recovery as I'm getting so much help, but it seems impossible right now)

[Intro] Intro and General Ramblings
/u/RomanReyGod [Height 5'4"| CW 148.8| BMI (New) 26.04 :( | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 07:10:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dazqo/intro_and_general_ramblings/
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Alright, so usually I'm not too social, but for some reason, I'm feeling very talkative today. I'm going to do my whole story here, so just a warning: it may get long.

I was overweight almost all of my life. As a kid, I never paid attention to my weight, despite my low self-esteem. I grew up, and I grew round, too. By 2014, I was 220lbs, which is a lot for a 5'4" female.

So, I found this thing called intermittent fasting. I liked the idea, so I tried it. (I've been doing it ever since, I love it <3) Anyway, as I began to lose more and more weight, I became obsessed with the numbers. People began to compliment me, people were more friendly, approached me more. I loved every bit of it.

This past September, things got really out of control. My uncle died unexpectedly from a heroin overdose. I was full of remorse and guilt, so my heavy restricting began. The longer I did it, the worse it got.

So, now I'm here, still fat (at 151lbs, currently...) and I want to lose more. I am set on staying on this path because I love eating so few calories. Plus, it's easier now, because I was put on 300mg of Wellbutrin to help my depression. I haven't felt physical hunger in days.

So, I guess this is just meant to give you guys a little background. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm going to post this yet, because I'm scared that I sound fake, or like I'm posing. I feel like I can't have an eating disorder unless I'm actually skinny, which I'm not even close to yet. I hope that it doesn't come of like that. Maybe, I'm just paranoid because I don't even consider myself as having an eating disorder. I don't know. I hope you guys accept me, because I'm tired of lurking in the shadows of such a friendly community. <3

Thank you for reading so much!

[Thinspo] (Mostly thigh centered) Thinspo Album
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 06:16:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dat09/mostly_thigh_centered_thinspo_album/
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http://imgur.com/a/RJwuC

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! April 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Apr 4 06:03:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dardt/weekly_stats_update_april_04_2016/
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This is the weekly status thread for April 04, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] "Fat vampires are the evil ones" weird conversation with a friend has really helped keep me on track
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 05:55:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4daqdg/fat_vampires_are_the_evil_ones_weird_conversation/
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I finally forced my friends to watch Let The Right One In, during a Netflix binge last week. Of course someone had to go and point out that the vampire is really, really thin and was THAT by any chance why I liked this movie so much? (It is, but, shhh~)


I managed to counter by saying that clearly Eli is so thin because he has to kill people in order to eat, which is horrible, so he doesn't do it any more often than he has to. They agreed! And said yeah, if eating meant hurting people a good vampire would HAVE to be emaciated, only the sadistic evil ones would kill enough to eat to excess. She wondered why they haven't used that idea in a film yet, an obese serial killer vamp, it'd be pretty fun, right?


I've been thinking about that all weekend though, Twilight dodges the issue with it's "vegan vamps" but most vampire films equate morality and eating, Eli just happens to be (arguably) the least subtle about it. It's been helping me to resist overeating or binging, the idea that not eating is a noble, self sacrificing choice instead of, uh, a weird, mentally ill choice...?

I guess most ED sufferers use food morality in some way, nothing new. But the vampire thing is kind of fun to me and it keeps me going so hey, thought I'd share.


[Rant/Rave] My boobs' RW I first decided to lose weight. Went down several band sizes (yay!) but also two cup sizes :(
/u/fiddlyduck [5'0 | 95 | 19.54 | -30.5 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 04:59:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dakps/my_boobs_rw_i_first_decided_to_lose_weight_went/
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http://i.imgur.com/LHCj0gR.gifv

[Help] How accurate is your daily estimated tdee from mfp actually?
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Mon Apr 4 04:54:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4dak7l/how_accurate_is_your_daily_estimated_tdee_from/
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Just wondering

[Goal] Little victory
/u/LadyGreyish [5'7 | 121lbs | 19.5 | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 02:28:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4da7o4/little_victory/
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Hi all!

Despite the fact that I have been at a lower weight before, I still find this a victory: I can see my hipbones when I'm standing up! I've never been able to do that before :3. Usually my lowest weights are from crashing insanely hard, so that doesnt really show in your body. But it feels like this weight I have now is actually from just losing weight and not crashing. Yay ^^!

[Rant/Rave] It appears that emotional trauma is the ultimate diet
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 02:21:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4da74n/it_appears_that_emotional_trauma_is_the_ultimate/
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Mobile - no flare :(

I ate 3 raspberries and had a latte with whole milk and regular vanilla syrup (i usually order almond milk and sugarfree) today... and half a glass of orange juice.

Yesterday was 2 cold brews, a half a sandwich, and a slice of cake (which i threw up from having a panic attack and car sickness at the same time)

Yesterday i was 121.2lbs... today i tried running to help myself get tired enough to sleep (didnt work) and 3 panic attacks later i've weighed in below 120 for the first time in a decade. 119.8lbs.

I guess my scale wasn't lying. I tried it on 4 different tile surfaces. 119.8 every time. I'm clothed kinda... i mean honestly i thought I'd look skinnier... my legs are still icky. Guess i gotta run more. Still no resolution on the big fight with the SO... and fml.

I have a horrible work week ahead of me and the SO's bday (possibly ex SO if he decides that...) so.. hopefully i dont pass out at any point... or maybe hopefully i do so i can just lay in bed on an IV for a few days. I don't know. I dont want to exist right now. I'm going through the motions.



[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Binged after getting rejected from dream university
/u/pineapplesandham [5'3 | 96.5 lbs | 17.6 | -10 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Apr 4 01:47:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4da45j/rant_binged_after_getting_rejected_from_dream/
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I was doing really well calorically, until I opened the page and it said that I'd been waitlisted (i.e. rejected). After I went and bawled my eyes out for a couple hours, I went downstairs to let off some steam (through gaming) and ended up binging on like 1000 calories of food. It wasn't bad food or anything, just lots of it: chicken avocado wraps, oatmeal, etc. Then, during the day, I ate another 1400 calories, including an entire loaf of whole wheat bread (it was a really small loaf though). I was going to fast today, but I ended up eating my normal amount (1200 calories).


Shitshitshit. I'm going to gain.

[Help] How to hide hair loss?
/u/AtsuPink
Created: Mon Apr 4 00:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9xnm/how_to_hide_hair_loss/
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Please help its starting to be really noticeable and i can't get sent away if they find out. Please i need to hide it/

[Goal] I just moved out!
/u/chuuta [5'4 | 114.2 | 19.85 | -14.9 | female]
Created: Sun Apr 3 23:59:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9txw/i_just_moved_out/
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First of all, I'm sorry for not flairing this post, but I'm on mobile.

I just really needed someone to share this with because I'm *so excited*. No more justifying what I'm eating or not eating. No more judgments. I feel so liberated, I can't even put it into words. Finally I really *am* in control of my life and my body. Tbh right now it feels like I'll never binge again.

[Rant/Rave] Fuuuuuuuuck
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 3 23:00:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9np5/fuuuuuuuuck/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I'm overweight!!!
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 22:44:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9m03/im_overweight/
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I was obese now I'm overweight. I've come a long way but I still have a very long way to go. Sorry I'm just so excited I had to share. This is the lowest I've ever been as an adult! An bonus I didn't binge when I saw my new weight like I'm prone to doing!!! Wooo!

[Goal] Finishing a day of fasting..
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Sun Apr 3 21:56:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d9g9w/finishing_a_day_of_fasting/
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..and I feel so good. I've done a few day fasts and stopped for intermittent fasting since full 36 hour fasts caused binges.

I made my bottom weight last week at 143, then bloomed back up to 150 on discount easter candy. I decided to get back on the wagon and my goal is to end April at 139 lbs or less. To reach my goal I have decided to fast for my husbands work week. I need to stop binging on my days off. I binge for 2 days, then over eat for 2 days, then maintain well for 3 days...then I'm back on the eat cycle.

No more.

Earlier this year I did weekly fasts to reset my eating and hunger signals and it worked. Now that I'm at a lower weight and no binges are over 2000 cal I think I can make a longer fast and I'm ready to try. Day 1 was easy, with a few cups of black iced coffee. Tomorrow will be my very first day 2 intentional fast. I know it will suck. Day 3 will be the worst. Then...I don't know.

I just want to drop this water weight, and whatever else falls with it.

It's April 3rd and I've committed 2 binges.l this month. I hope they are the last 2 of the month.

I'm not looking for anything, I just want to talk about my fast as it happens. I might post in r/fasting if it goes long enogh. It's about control right now. I don't have much of a weight loss goal in terms of fat - I know it's all water from a serving of hard pretzle I hate (salt on simple carbs, who would guess). I want to be able to say no to food after 2 days of binging on white chocolate and chips.

I am in control. Are you?

[Discussion] Favorite Things to Do to Avoid a Binge?
/u/whelpidek [5-5| GW: 110 | fat asf | 20.4| f]
Created: Sun Apr 3 20:11:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d935y/favorite_things_to_do_to_avoid_a_binge/
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So with Spring Break ending, I'm going to be going back to school tomorrow (*internal screaming*). This means the dreaded school lunches from the school and the snacks that my parents fill in my pantry. I've gotten pretty good with lunches, I'll get a chicken sandwich and fries and act like I'm picking at it, but throw it away as soon as someone else goes to toss out their food. But when it comes to the snacks, I'm *awful* at staying away from binges. My mom and sister are pretty overweight, and it's pretty gross to see what they fill my pantry up with. Spoiler: Cookies galore. Chocolate, tea time, Oreo, Girl Scout, you name it we will probably have it by Friday.

So I've been filling up my notebook with little tips I like to do to keep my mind occupied. My favorites so far are:

* Clear Nail Polish w/glitter - So I am in a group where I can't have bright colored nail polish on during meetings, which are pretty frequent. So instead, I'll take this clear polish with gold glitter and paint a spot on my arm, hand, or foot. It looks pretty but feels like leather-y ick skin, and I always spend time trying to pick it off. This is great because it takes time to wait for the polish to dry, admire, and take off. It also hurts a bit, which is pretty distracting too. It's great.

* Hair bands - I have a thin hair band that is solely for my wrist. If I get hungry I tie it in knots or snap it against my wrist. It's not as effective as the polish or writing, but it's pretty okay for in a pinch.

* Writing - My notebook, a little black moleskin one, is always with me, along with my favorite pen. When I get hungry or off in anyway, I just take it out and write about anything. Usually I'm not even hungry afterwards unless I'm doing a long fast. It's distracting and nobody gets suspicious of it because I'm only writing 'For School.'

But what about you guys? Do you have anything better that you love?

[Tip] Any ents awake?
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | too fat | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 20:10:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d932u/any_ents_awake/
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Spotify/YouTube: Glitch Mob - Drink the Sea

If anyone needs a distraction... Get super stoned and listen to the album and don't eat! It's working for me šŸ˜µ

[Rant/Rave] Fallen off :/
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 19:52:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d90qo/fallen_off/
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I've fallen off. Was doing so well february, then I spiraled out of control (thanks dad for buying all that chocolate...). I did bad this week, and jesus time goes by. I wasted all of march eating shit. I could've been at my GW by now. Sigh.

I'm doing a 2 day fast. I've managed one and now it's two. the biggest factor is my mom is always asking if I've eaten. she watches me if I eat sometimes, and I have to lie to her about eating dinner. I can't leave food out, because it's my responsibility to clean up after myself. sooooo I guess I have to chuck food out :P

Was supposed to be 90 by next friday. welp. I've probably gone from 100 to 104. I can't even tell where I am right now. I took a laxative to help me start fresh. good luck to me on my fast. sorry for spelling mistakes. i'm in a rush ;w;

[Goal] It's been 9 days since I drank, I broke my cycle!
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 19:43:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8zkl/its_been_9_days_since_i_drank_i_broke_my_cycle/
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I posted last week telling you guys that I wasn't going to drink on my weekend, because for the two weeks before now I had gotten down to my lowest weights on Saturday before gaining 5kg in 48 hours.

I spent most of the weekend thinking about drinking, and feeling I was wasting my only time to drink every week by being sober. But I removed myself from temptation and drove 400km from any available alcohol, and now it's the longest I've gone without drinking in the last year at least!

This week you guys helped me make it through, I only gained 600g over the weekend, giving me a starting point of 4.2kg less than last Monday!

[Rant/Rave] I just bought a bikini! And another mini-rave.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 19:14:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8vv5/i_just_bought_a_bikini_and_another_minirave/
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I've been self conscious of my body ever since puberty. From when the boob fairy visited me at 11 to age 16, they represented everything I loathed about being a woman: I couldn't run like I used to, they jiggled all around, I got teased, bras were uncomfortable, the list goes on. As a result, I wore nothing but sports bras and baggy clothes to try and hide them.

Recently, however, I have been becoming more confident in my own skin. I'm not sure whether this is because of my weight loss or if it's because other girls my age have breasts too so I don't feel so alone. Either way, now I wear regular bras and tight fitting tops, and sometimes I feel pretty good!

The school band is going on a trip to Disneyland this weekend. I figured I might as well have a cute swimsuit to wear to the pool, and so I got one! I'm really proud of myself, I never thought I would be able to embrace my body, but here I am!

Sidenote: I also got an A on a math test I was super stressed about, so that's going well too.

[Goal] Small victory: I threw away the ice cream before I opened it
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Sun Apr 3 18:24:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8pa7/small_victory_i_threw_away_the_ice_cream_before_i/
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Feeling very Forever Alone this weekend and got beer drunk, ate ramen and crab Rangoon. Then I went to Walgreens and bought a pint of haagen dazs to binge in bed, but as I approached home, I tossed it in the trash. I know I'm already way over calories but I'm proud of myself for not saying fuck it and piling it on until felt sick. I need to stop punishing myself with food.

[Discussion] What are your weird habits?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 17:18:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8gf7/what_are_your_weird_habits/
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I saw a few posts that had me thinking. What are everyone here's weird habits?

Like I will break up my food into bite sized portions and count the number of bites, but only at the end of my meals. And before eating I take a shot of apple cider vinegar with a huge cup of water to try to prevent eating excessive quantities.

What about you guys?

[Rant/Rave] How time flies...
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 17:15:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8g05/how_time_flies/
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Today marks exactly one month from when I hit my lowest weight. I can't believe it has been 4 weeks of constant binging, resulting in all this weight gain. I only wanted to stop purging but of course that backfired and it just became a cycle of only binging.

Back then only my mom commented on my weight loss, but no one had commented on my weight gain until this one guy from work asked me if I had gained weight. When I replied with a yes he said he was glad, because how I looked before (at my lowest weight) was too skinny. !!!!I can't comprehend this!!!

Maybe is my disordered mind but I didn't look "too skinny" but hearing him say this made me open my eyes and realize I have to go back to that weight and lower to finally reach my ugw.

At this point I don't care about health complications, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I realized I have no purpose in life, apart from wanting to be skinny since the 7th grade. It's been so long now and I'm still around the same weight. I want to finally do something right in my life, why can't I accomplish something I've always wanted?

Anyways I'm just making this post because it's time I stop the bulshit and finally get what I've wanted for so long, the only thing I can control getting. It doesn't matter what happens after, or how long it lasts. I just want to taste it. Going down to the lowest I've gone felt like I was on a drug, a constant high. I cant imagine what it would feel to actually be underweight and reach my ugw. Just thinking about it makes me feel some sort of euphoria.

I guess this is me saying I'm back 愱愱

[Help] Yall
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 17:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d8e9w/yall/
---
I am fucked. I just purged until I pissed myself and still didn't get it all out. I feel so sad.

[Discussion] Carbs and water retention?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Sun Apr 3 15:48:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d83or/carbs_and_water_retention/
---
Can eating carbs increase the amount of water you retain?

[Rant/Rave] Dunno what to title this
/u/thininsp
Created: Sun Apr 3 14:40:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7tl7/dunno_what_to_title_this/
---
So I ate bad cottage cheese Tuesday and got what I thought was food poisoning from it (vomiting and diarrhea at the same time non stop) all that night and the next day.

Thursday I thought I was doing a bit better and ate some sweet potato but threw it up two hours later. Friday I was in and out of the bathroom. Saturday I was nauseated all day and had to go lay down around 3 but by dinner I felt OK and I actually ate dinner and had some dessert.

This morning I woke up and felt terrible and couldn't even drink the coffee my husband made for me. I went to my dad's and took him for lunch because his mom died yesterday and I just wanted to spend some time with him. I ate about half my lunch and started feeling clammy and sweaty. We barely made it back to the house and it was coming out both ends. I laid down and fell asleep for about an hour and then had to bring my youngest home so she could take a nap. I get her all set and make a mad dash to the bathroom.

A little while later in standing in my kitchen and this thought goes through my head "ugh I'm so nauseated... You know what would be good right now? Chocolate cake." What the fuck is wrong with me? My husband asked if he should buy a pregnancy test on his way home when I told him. FML.

Mathematically it should be impossible for me to be pregnant because we had sex for the first time in a month on Sunday, so unless I'm way far along, I am just fucked in the head, not pregnant. I really don't want to be pregnant. Please please don't let me be pregnant.

On a positive note I'm at a new low weight as of this morning since I have only eaten once that I haven't thrown up since Sunday (i was coming off of a fast when I got sick).

[Help] Trying to write a grocery list; my head is spinning.
/u/l-ostcaus-e [5ft 6| Fattest of the Fats | F | GW 1: - 15lbs | UGW: 99lbs]
Created: Sun Apr 3 14:34:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7slt/trying_to_write_a_grocery_list_my_head_is_spinning/
---
Fuck, why is this so hard?!

I've got absolutely nothing of substance in. I need to go shopping. I need lunches and dinners for maybe... 2 weeks if I can?

I'm not vegan but I've been going more vegetarian recently as I normally can't afford meat. I can't eat large quantities of diary and am trying to follow a low FODMAPs diet for my IBS. I am stuck.

So far I have on my list:

- Rice cakes (I have some cheese triangles already that I can spread on them)
- Bottled water
- Lettuce
- Peppers
- Carrots
- Eggs
- Sweet potatoes

Every single other thing I can think of ends with the ED voice in my head screaming no. I can't have that. That's too high cal. You'll binge on that. That's not healthy enough.

I am lost. Please help :( Ideally aiming for under 1200cal a day, if not under 1000.

ETA - I have pasta/rice/some grains in but tbh, they scare me. Especially the pasta.

[Discussion] Low cal snacks
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Apr 3 13:48:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7lv6/low_cal_snacks/
---
Please, share yours!

I'm getting a bit tired of my pickles lol. Rice cakes are nice but a bit too nice, I always eat the whole package once it's open. What are your go to snacks?

I now often make some ice cream of banana and strawberries, but 200 cal is like a full meal and doesn't feel totally worth it.

[Discussion] Favorite tracking apps?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 13:34:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7jot/favorite_tracking_apps/
---
I use MFP to track my calories and Plant Nanny to track my water intake! What are your favorite apps?

[Tip] Has anyone done Healthywage?
/u/Darling459
Created: Sun Apr 3 12:36:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d7awl/has_anyone_done_healthywage/
---
I just signed up for one. Apparently you bet that you will lose a certain amount of weight in a certain amount of time, bet some money and if you lose the weight, you win more money. Has anyone else done it? I'm excited, it's another incentive to stay on track.

I got a referral code when I signed up so I figured I would share it with you guys in case anyone wanted to do it with me. If you use it you get $40 added to your winnings :)

http://www.healthywage.com/referral/healthywager/name-your-own-prize/18455739100057

[Help] Vitamins?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 3 11:28:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d70jk/vitamins/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Apr 3 10:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6nzv/daily_food_diary_april_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Bread really does make you fat!
/u/InItTLoseIt [5' 7" | 172.9 lbs | 26.99 | 47.9 lbs | Femme nb]
Created: Sun Apr 3 09:55:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6n18/bread_really_does_make_you_fat/
---
I'm on day 3 of Whole30, which focuses on eating whole, unprocessed foods. I can eat meat, fruits and veg, and nuts but eliminate dairy, grains, added sugars, and artificial sweeteners of any kind.

I've already broken my plateau from not eating pizza three times a week, and I feel fuller longer from the food I cook. Last night dinner was a sweet potato with ghee (202 cal). I wasn't even hungry when I woke up this morning. Lunch today is a scrambled egg and ground pork with ground chili powder (210). I can typically end my day around 500-600 total calories.

Without bread at every meal, I don't get triggered into bingeing anymore and I don't crave sugar like I used to. I'm dead tired all the time, but I've read that goes away by the second week.

Bread really does make you fat! At least that's what happened to me.

[Intro] hi! been lurking for an eternity
/u/bubblegumball [5'3 | 119.3 | 21.13 | -3.1 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 09:13:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6hel/hi_been_lurking_for_an_eternity/
---
hi, i'm bubble and i made this alternate account so i can actually post here. i recovered about a year ago and have been on a binge/restrict alteration for like 3 months... it's terrible. i'm trying to improve. anyway, hi!

[Rant/Rave] This is the most fucking relatable thing on the entire internet. [Humor :p]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 08:57:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6f6p/this_is_the_most_fucking_relatable_thing_on_the/
---
http://41.media.tumblr.com/b8d38e89e24398131fb570b777e0ea64/tumblr_nv5giyYt4M1tp42tfo1_500.jpg

[Discussion] Going grain free - experiences (binging, weight, how you felt etc)?
/u/HiccupKitten [5'4" I 110.8 I 19.0 I -5 lbs I F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 08:16:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d6a9e/going_grain_free_experiences_binging_weight_how/
---
Has anyone here ever gone grain free? What were your experiences?

I've noticed I only ever binge on grain products, and do quite well with going "cold turkey" with foods. I feel like the carbs I need I can get with just fruits, veg, beans.

Thoughts? Experiences?

[Help] Binge eating for 6 weeks and dealing with life being this fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 3 08:07:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d69b3/binge_eating_for_6_weeks_and_dealing_with_life/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Applied with a modelling agency. Don't know whether to tell my fiancƩ.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Apr 3 07:53:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d67ox/applied_with_a_modelling_agency_dont_know_whether/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I havent been this light in 10yrs
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Apr 3 05:44:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d5vp6/i_havent_been_this_light_in_10yrs/
---
No flare, mobile sorry


If.. if my scale isn't lying... i weigh 121.2lbs now. I've been super depressed all week due to some fights with the SO. Might be over. So ive barely been eating/sleeping anyways. I havent been this small since i was severely anamia when i was 19/20. Ive been wearing baggy clothes for weeks, so i didnt really even notice... until today. I put on jeans that i am usually afraid to wear and they looked good. I looked in the mirror and actually could see that i was smaller. I'm going to assume that its not permanent. I have been feeling really sick from stress. I even threw up today without wanting too from crying in the back of my friends car while she was driving fast. Im depressed and sick and its making me lose more weight.. and i feel almost embarassed to say it made me a little happier.

Maybe when he sees me in a few days i will wear a crop top and he'll notice i have abs again... or maybe if i actually have the flu i will look so frail and tiny to him that he will get a little scared... i don't know which i would prefer right now. I'm not in a good mental state. Im probably giving myself an ulcer from stress and coffee. Fuck.

121.2 yay.

[Intro] Intro -- Hi! ^-^/
/u/Pumpkabooo [5'5" | 106.5 | 17.72 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 23:35:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d533n/intro_hi/
---
Hello! It took me a long time, but I've finally gotten the courage to make an account. I've been lurking for several months but have been too nervous to put myself out there. So now I figured I should at least post an intro before I chicken out again!

Just for a little background, I've struggled with body image issues my entire life. 100% ugly duckling. Never technically overweight, but DEFINITELY never thin. I've always gone up and down with my views about myself, and at this point I've pretty much decided that I'm fine with feeling "down" about myself forever. Because it seems like every time I start to feel comfortable with myself or my body, I start to gain weight. And then whenever I pick apart all my flaws and feel like shit about myself, the weight slowly goes back down.

I've never been diagnosed with anything ED-related but I have gone through all kinds of medical hoops because of depression and anxiety.

The turning points for me from just body issues to more disordered behaviors came in the last couple years. I had an opportunity to travel to Asia (most time spent in Japan) a few summers ago, and being around all those beautiful, thin women every day definitely got to me. I had gotten used to all the vanity sizing in the US, so I felt at least KIND OF normal-sized there. But with so much Asian clothing being one-size or limited size, I really started to notice how much I hated how I looked. That trip really started me making firmer goals for myself.

The other thing that impacted me was my wedding. Who doesn't want to be as tiny as possible in a wedding dress, right? I did a pretty decent job of restricting in the months before my wedding, and went from almost 130lbs to 108 -- my lowest adult weight.

After my wedding, I decided I wanted to enjoy food again and went more than a little crazy. Within 2 months I was back up to almost 120lbs.

So now I'm getting serious about this again. I'm close to the 110lb range again and my goal is to be 100lbs or less by June. I'm looking forward to being a part of this community. :) I love the support I see here, and I appreciate everything you all do to make this subreddit a safe place for us to be here for each other!

<3



[Rant/Rave] I really thought I would have felt a lot skinnier by now
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 129.0 | 20.13 | -41 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 21:27:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4pik/i_really_thought_i_would_have_felt_a_lot_skinnier/
---
I'm 132.8 lbs, 5'7". Two weeks ago I was 142. A few months ago I was 170.

I really thought 130s seemed so low since I haven't seen them since 2010 or 2011. (EDIT: I don't know why I thought this...high 130s was when I freaked out and started my first dance with ED back in the day...)

I can fit into dresses I haven't seen at all since then. Form fitting ones even. I was hoping to just be near 130s when I had my wedding dress shopping appointments today, which I am.

I was thinking, I have more perspective now. I know what I look like REALLY big. I can be happy with 125-130, I looked good back at that weight. Lower might be too low, and really, do you think you can even maintain lower? You can be satisfied here.

But my arms are still flabby and disgusting. My legs are still huge. My stomach is still not flat.

Everyone was complimenting my figure when we were shopping, but that's bullshit. It's just because everyone else is getting big, society's standards have gotten lax.

My original goal weight of 125-130 is definitely not going to be enough. 115 here I come.

I need to start fucking lifting weights and changing my body composition too.

But fuck.

[Help] How often do you guys update your flair?
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 20:24:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4i5y/how_often_do_you_guys_update_your_flair/
---
So I finally added my flair tonight. I'm not pleased with what it says, but it is what it is.

But how often do you guys change yours? I weigh (as I assume many of you do) several times a day. Do you update daily? Weekly? At a new low weight?

I usually 'count' my Friday weight because I try not to drink during the week and I feel like Friday is the best representation of myself. What do you guys do?

[Rant/Rave] I'm having the worst day ever.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 19:40:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4ck2/im_having_the_worst_day_ever/
---
Firstly, my horse bucked me off really badly. I'm sore and my neck is killing me. I have a competition next weekend and I'm just so embarrassed about today. I feel like I have no business riding in the first place.

Secondly, I met with a nutritionist at my gym. One of the first things she asked me was "is this the highest weight you've ever been?" I couldn't believe it. I weigh 121 pounds. I'm a size 2/4. I'm not the skinniest but I'm not overweight, and this is *one* of my *lowest* adult weights (lowest adult weight was 111, lowest weight ever was 92, usually I rest comfortably between 118 and 122 but I refuse to be that heavy).

She told me I need to lose 18 pounds of fat. I was already planning on getting back to 92 by the summer. But gah. Just hearing it from someone else makes it even worse. The worst part is I told her I "used" to be anorexic, and she still proudly told me to lose 18 pounds of fat. I guess I'm just a big **fat** hypocrite. I'm okay judging myself harshly but when someone else does it, I'm a big **fat** baby.

I guess I'm fatter than I thought I was. I feel so disgusting and ugly. I haven't been able to stop crying for the past hour and I have no one to talk to about this so here I am. I wish I could take a knife and chop off all my fat. I hate myself. I'm nothing and nobody.

[Rant/Rave] I only really trust my scale if the numbers are up...
/u/clurrance [5'6" | 114 | 18.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 19:29:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4b62/i_only_really_trust_my_scale_if_the_numbers_are_up/
---
Whenever they go down, I assume it's broken. No way a fatty like me is losing weight.
Ohhhh ED...

[Tip] My favorite, low calorie, sweet-tooth satisfying treat!
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 19:22:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d4abq/my_favorite_low_calorie_sweettooth_satisfying/
---
I discovered this last week and just wanted to share! I'm not sure if you guys have an [Aldi's](https://storelocator.aldi.us/Presentation/AldiSued/en-us/Start) store near you, but I wanted to share in case you do!


I LOVE their Fit and Active line, and have been looking/trying out their products slowly I discovered [these Caramel Rice Snacks](https://www.aldi.us/en/grocery-home/aldi-brands/fit-active/snacks-sweets/snacks-sweets-detail/ps/p/fit-active-caramel-rice-snacks/) that I just had to share with you all! I'm not sure why, but online it says 7 rice snacks for 60 calories. On the actual package, 8 rice snacks for 60 calories is listed. Either way, they're super satisfying and super sweet! The crunchiness gives it a great twist and I believe the entire bag (about the size of a regular potato chip bag) is about 300 calories (so, even if I were to one day go overboard, I wouldn't feel nearly as guilty!)


Have you tried these? What did you think? I've also tried [these Chocolate Chip Cookie Crisps](https://www.aldi.us/en/grocery-home/aldi-brands/fit-active/snacks-sweets/snacks-sweets-detail/ps/p/fit-active-100-calorie-baked-chocolate-chip-wafer/) but prefer the Caramel Rice Snacks! They also have [Cheese Rice Snacks](https://www.aldi.us/en/grocery-home/aldi-brands/fit-active/snacks-sweets/snacks-sweets-detail/ps/p/fit-active-cheddar-cheese-rice-snacks/), if those are more enticing to you?


Has anyone tried [these, btw?](https://www.aldi.us/en/grocery-home/aldi-brands/fit-active/snacks-sweets/snacks-sweets-detail/ps/p/fit-active-smores-drizzled-mini-crisps/)


I'm starting to sound like an ad but I just love their line so much!

[Rant/Rave] Parents in is town triggering purging
/u/pepto_bitchmol [5'4 | 122.5 | 21.44 | -55 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 19:01:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d47jc/parents_in_is_town_triggering_purging/
---
*edit: title should say "Parents in town is triggering purging" ugh

I'm so disappointed with myself. I've been doing so well with keeping my calories low, and convincing myself that it's okay to go over sometimes. But this weekend my parents are in town. I have to get a LOT of food for them because they are weirdly food-possessive and like fight for the last morsel, and they get REALLY upset if there isn't "enough" food around. Like making/ordering a little and getting more isn't an option, they just need it all.

This morning my husband cooked a full breakfast (eggs, potatoes, grits, sausage) and I took my family to a local donut places to get a treat to go with breakfast. They wanted two each, so instead of the 1/2 dozen I planned I had to get a whole dozen. They ate that on top of the full breakfast. Then for dinner, between 5 people we finished off THREE LARGE PIZZAS. I asked if two would be okay and they were like "weeeeellllll" so I got three and they ate them all. It was fucking humiliating walking out of the restaurant.

I purged stuff from last night and my pizza from tonight. I suffered from bulimia almost exactly a decade ago, and I convinced myself to stop when I had to get a root canal from my teeth going to shit. I'm twenty six fucking years old and should know better, and I'm normally ok going over my calories occasionally, but just watching the way my grossly unhealthy family eats just triggers the shit out of me. They're so gross and over-consumptive in every facet of their lives, and I try so hard to live frugally, healthily, conscientiously, and within my means. I just had to get my part of that three pizza binge OUT of me.

They leave tomorrow. I feel sick for my little sister who is already having body image issues. I'm just going to use my Sunday to eat a bunch of green shit and work the fuck out and try to forget these awful feelings. Thanks for listening.

[Rant/Rave] I think I'm into a guy just because I'm not physically good enough for him.
/u/jealousweeping [5'3" | 158.2 | 28 | 7lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 18:48:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d45v6/i_think_im_into_a_guy_just_because_im_not/
---
He's super into working out and lifting and he's never dated an overweight girl before and he's kind of fatpeoplehate-y.

I'm a chubby lady. I'm working on it really hard now that I like him though, even though he's kind of an asshole in most other aspects and he's probably playing me.

It's honestly just such good motivation. Sometimes when I think I want to get better I use the excuse that my brain is broken and I shouldn't listen to the little bulimic bitch in my head, and I'll go on a binge. But with this guy it's like, he looks at people like you every day and kind of wants to vom, you actually are a sack of shit, go run and don't eat for three days. I dig it. Sorry if this is weird.

[Rant/Rave] I can't wait till my eyes get better.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 18:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d42pu/i_cant_wait_till_my_eyes_get_better/
---
I have to wear my glasses and I'm pretty damn blind so they make me and everything look smaller than it really is. I just want to put my contacts in so I'll be able to acknowledge the fat fuck i am! UGH

[Help] Anyone else fasting?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 18:13:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d41c0/anyone_else_fasting/
---
I've been eating pretty bad these past two days. So bad that, if you're friends with me on MFP (username is mp4vs49).. I actually deleted the logs. Today I told myself to take responsibility for what I did and try to log an estimation of what I consumed.



I started fasting today at 5:50 PM and aim to break my fast the day after tomorrow 4/04/16 during midday or the afternoon. I went to the gym today for about 2 hours and ran a 5k! Tomorrow, I plan to do the same. I actually love the feeling of eating on an empty stomach. Am I the only one? I feel so healthful and light and wonderful. Eating makes me feel rather lethargic :/


Anyways, if anyone would like to fast with me, let me know! You can PM me here or message me on MFP, whatever you prefer! :)


[Discussion] I love how I can now browse this subreddit without feeling the need to hide!
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 17:51:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d3yiw/i_love_how_i_can_now_browse_this_subreddit/
---
I absolutely love the new banner! Thank you so much for the change!


Before, I would have to turn my computer screen away from my family whenever I was using my laptop because the banner could (understandably) be very alarming. I'm so happy!

[Rant/Rave] My substitute teacher used to have and ED
/u/useh3rname [4'10| 85| 17.76| -20 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 17:01:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d3rng/my_substitute_teacher_used_to_have_and_ed/
---
There's a substitute filling in for my history teacher on maternity leave who I've gotten really close to over the past week. We hang everyday during lunch in his classroom. He seemed oblivious to the fact that I never ate anything, and he never really mentioned it.

However, yesterday, when I refused the granola bar he offered me, he started going on about how he used to eat only one meal a day, fasted every sunday, and he just went on about how much he struggled with his eating disorder.

When he was finished, I couldn't even speak because I was so paranoid. At that moment, I thought he was going to report me and I didn't know what to say. I just expressed how sorry I was about what he went through but our conversation died down a little.

At this point I don't know how to feel. I'm frustrated at myself for being so awkward and potentially ruining our friendship and I have no idea what I'm going to do on Monday. I'm at a new school and I don't have any friends, so I don't have anyone to turn to.

[Discussion] Fed Up(2014). An eye-opening Documentary about sugar and the food industry.Our governments are in bed with the food industry to make and keep us fat and dumb.A must watch !
/u/CrossedKing [6'2" | 160 | 20.5 | 0 | M |GW:130 ]
Created: Sat Apr 2 15:17:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d3ct5/fed_up2014_an_eyeopening_documentary_about_sugar/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y647tNm8nTI

[Discussion] I don't think I have an UGW
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Sat Apr 2 13:10:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d2u68/i_dont_think_i_have_an_ugw/
---
I am 94.4 lbs this morning, and haven't weighed myself post going to the bathroom (TMI, sorry). I think my goal weight was 92, with an ultimate goal weight of 88. But I don't think I'm aiming for numbers anymore. I don't even know what the goal is anymore. I feel like when I reach 92, I will feel little satisfaction. I tried to think of a number I want to see, but I don't know anymore. Anything close to where I am sounds like too much.


I am not doing this to look good or to feel pretty. I guess it's working. But how do you keep working at something with no goal? What am I even trying to accomplish? All I know is that I want to keep losing.


How did you come up with your UGW? What do you think you'll feel when you reach it? I actually DO want to set a goal, because otherwise, what am I even doing?

[Help] Protein in my diet? What are your safe foods?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 11:54:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d2ii8/protein_in_my_diet_what_are_your_safe_foods/
---
What do you guys think of what's most useful to eat when losing weight? Like, would you recommend eating mostly fruits and vegetables or mostly beans or tofu? Those things freak me out because they're so high in calories. But fruits and vegetables are also making me uncomfortable...

I guess what I'm also kind of asking is what is everyone's safe foods because I'm struggling to find any right now, and although I guess its a good problem to have (aka I'm barely eating) but I also need to focus on school work but I'm too tired from no food

Maybe I should just have more coffee.. haha

[Rant/Rave] i have literally been killing myself
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Sat Apr 2 11:54:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d2ihn/i_have_literally_been_killing_myself/
---
so ever since monday when i got my quarter ounce of weed i've been smoking everyday all day and having the munchies all the time like it's crazy that i have to deal with it but it's worth it in the long run but i just can't lose for shit and have been gaining

[Rant/Rave] I feel so lost
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Apr 2 10:34:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d26kq/i_feel_so_lost/
---
Wondering what I'm working so so so hard for. Even with a BMI of 12 my inside won't be pretty. My face won't be pretty and let's face it, my body won't be either.



[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Apr 2 10:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d21rj/daily_food_diary_april_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] [Help] I have a hard time staying motivated. Suggestions for punishments?
/u/allybee85
Created: Sat Apr 2 09:34:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1xrf/help_i_have_a_hard_time_staying_motivated/
---
I've tried rewards and everything in the past but I think punishment is what I need to make myself take this seriously. I'd like to punish when I binge, go over my daily intake, or fail myself in some other way. Suggestions for punishments?

[Discussion] Apple Cider Vinegar!
/u/PippiLee97 [5'7"| 149lbs | 23.6 | -18lbs | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 08:40:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1q87/apple_cider_vinegar/
---
So I noticed this crazy thing ever since I started drinking a hot glass of water + apple cider vinegar before breakfast every morning (or when I've eaten too much and my stomach is full).

Whenever I fuck up my diet, eating however many calories past maintaining, I just don't seem to gain weight. The scale doesn't bunch any sort of significant amount. Maybe I'm crazy, but I have not been to the gym in weeks and the apple cider vinegar drink is all I added to my routine. Any opinions? Have any of you experienced this?

[Tip] Best anti-binge site
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 07:53:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1kjk/best_antibinge_site/
---
I personally have a problem with bingeing. I binge way too much and way too often and afterwards I just feel miserable in general. This is a feeling that many of us know too well, but this website helped me kind of change my mentality and think more about the actual consequences of overeating rather than just "oh I'll just restrict tomorrow"

You can't outrun a bad diet - https://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/lop

You input your stats and it tells you how long it will take to burn 3500 calories (or lose one pound) doing a variety of exercises. It would take me almost 5 hours on the elliptical to burn 1 pound, or I could just eat less. I just have to make the choice to resist.

[Help] Preparing to face an uphill battle... I could use some encouragement and advice.
/u/finding_zen [5'3 | 135 | 24.58 | -7 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 07:10:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1fra/preparing_to_face_an_uphill_battle_i_could_use/
---
This might get a little long, so **TL;DR:** I'm about to start taking Lyrica (progabelin) for what the doctor thinks is fibromayalgia. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with fibromayalgia and losing weight? Or has anyone dealt with the gabapentin-type medicine family and managed to keep working toward their goal? Last time I was on this kind of medicine I gained seven pounds :(

Before I get in to the fun details, I just want to say thank you to everyone here on this subreddit for being so supportive and kind. I'm painfully shy and anxious all the time, and I appreciate having this safe place to come to for advice on topics that would make the people in my life think I was crazy. You guys rock.

Anyway, my back/hip pain is getting worse. I'm trying to go on short walks when possible, but just moving my body gets more and more painful all the time. The doctor and I decided that we would try a "shotgun approach" in regards to pain medication to buy time while we work on finding a long term solution. Enter Lyrica. I've done a little researching (I'm on mobile, so I'm not sure that my spelling is correct here), and it seems like progabelin is a similar drug to gabapentin. My personal experience with gabapentin was no pain relief, but lots of weight gain. I'm not sure if the weight came from lack of exercise or binging or a little bit of both, but I can't let it happen again. Not only do I feel fat and disgusting, my body does not need any extra weight to drag me down on top of this pain. So it's preparation time. Has anyone here dealt with a similar situation? How can I combat weight gain related side effects from the medication? Any general tips on how to get my willpower back when this pain is making me so depressed?

Right now, here's my list of preventative measures so far:

- Buying lots of cucumbers, pickles, brussel sprouts, squash, broccoli, and onions. If the medicine makes me hungry enough to binge, I will at least be healthy and low-cal.

- I've stocked up on chamomile tea and am going to get sparkling water to help fight off cravings.

- I'm trying to get myself in an exercise routine so that the habit will stick when I'm on the medication, but we'll see how my mobility holds up.

- Looking in to the idea of bronkaid (bonus points for helping with my asthma) or something else as an appetite suppressant, but I still need to look up drug interactions.

- I'm going to start keeping a food journal as well as writing up meal plans ahead of time. I used to do this and weight started falling off, but I just lost the motivation. I also kind of want to make an inspiration notebook with pictures and quotes.

[Help] Binged last night and freaking out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Apr 2 06:51:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1dss/binged_last_night_and_freaking_out/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I hit a new low weight and just wanted to tell someone.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Sat Apr 2 06:12:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4d1a3m/i_hit_a_new_low_weight_and_just_wanted_to_tell/
---
I know a lot of us can't share these kinds of things with people we know personally, so I just wanted to share with you all to get it off my chest.

I weighed in at 114 this morning, the lowest I've ever been, and have less than 10 pounds to my goal. My bmi is 19.0.

I missed the selfie train on purpose because I was feeling gross yesterday but I'll put some pictures here.

[Link](http://imgur.com/a/1DVr9)

Anyways that's all. Just feeling better today and wanted to celebrate a little.

[Help] Today I ate and don't know how to feel.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 21:34:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4czv7i/today_i_ate_and_dont_know_how_to_feel/
---
[deleted]

What's the fastest way you lost weight before?
/u/skinnybutfluffy [5'2.5" | 126 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 20:51:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4czplm/whats_the_fastest_way_you_lost_weight_before/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] How many calories do you burn tearing your place up looking for a lost snake?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 20:27:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4czm1o/how_many_calories_do_you_burn_tearing_your_place/
---
My bf has a little corn snake named Toki. He's about the width of a pencil and about 1.5ft long. I checked on him yesterday and I think there was a gap in the lid and he got out. Frantically searching for him all over and he's not in his usual hiding spots. I feel like such a fuck up I know the bf will never forgive me if I caused Toki's death/forever disappearance. I binged today too after finally hitting 155, today has been a shitty day so far. There's a little itty bitty corn snake somewhere in my condo and I really hope I can find him. Fuck.

[Rant/Rave] Needed to Vent (sorry)
/u/vhenah [5'7 | 172.2 | 26.88 | -47.8 | MOO]
Created: Fri Apr 1 18:59:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cz93u/needed_to_vent_sorry/
---
I fasted all day and then I fucking caved because I'm a weakass fatty. Naturally it just *had* to be pizza and breadsticks because I'm a piece of lard who can't control themselves. I'm so frustrated and upset because I made SO much progress this week and I just threw it all away and I'm so scared to get on the scale tomorrow morning. I want to purge but I'm too chickenshit to....

I'm sorry this is just a rant but I wanted to vent to people who wouldn't just side-eye me....

[Rant/Rave] Frustrated
/u/JekllyLovesHyde [5'6'' | 112.4| 18.22 | -4 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 18:25:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cz3us/frustrated/
---
I'm so frustrated today, I was so good this week, alternating restricting under 500 and fasting and then tonight I broke it. Binged on fast food and now I'm afraid of what my weight will be tomorrow. I really want to be close to my goal weight by graduation which is in about 6 weeks.

[Help] Insomnia?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 18:24:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cz3p6/insomnia/
---
It's 1 am. Last night I couldn't fall asleep until 5 am and woke up for my 9 am class. I feel tired, but can't fall asleep.

Does anyone else have this problem? It gets bad when I'm restricting, so I ate normally today but I still can't sleep.

[Thinspo] Hey loves! It's the start of a new month - keep your goals in mind ;) [thinspo friday #4]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 15:13:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cy5n6/hey_loves_its_the_start_of_a_new_month_keep_your/
---
http://imgur.com/a/PsRB4

[Help] Does anyone have experience with "natural" laxatives?
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 15:11:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cy55w/does_anyone_have_experience_with_natural_laxatives/
---
Currently on my second dose of generic exlax because my body hates me for my binge yesterday and refuses to poop. I don't want to get in the habit of using laxatives, as I've heard all of the crappy (haha) things that it can do in your GI system with extended use.

SO. I've been looking online and have picked up the two things that seemed to universially be marked as "natural" laxatives: apple cider vinegar and ginger tea. I've already done a shot of the vinegar and will likely use the tea later tonight if I can't get the ball rolling on a BM.

Have any of you used them? Do you use them as a 1-time help to purge or use them everyday to keep the wheels greased? From what I've read, the vinegar has a lot of health benefits outside of its mild laxative effect anyway so there's a good chance I'll keep it up.

Edit: it's all good. Nature found a way.

[Thinspo] This.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 15:09:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cy4rt/this/
---
http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/e5BbUWNi31Pfi6ofRSyrdw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3NfbGVnbztxPTg1O3c9NjMw/http://l.yimg.com/os/249/2012/07/13/630thinspo2-jpg_094439.jpg

[Discussion] Chewing and Spitting
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 146 | 25.5 | -16 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 13:54:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cxpfq/chewing_and_spitting/
---
Hi guys,

I've been playing around with chewing and spitting recently, nothing too extreme so far. But today I just chewed and spitted a whole meal for the first time (french toast and an omelette).

I found that even without swallowing it gave me the same satisfaction as eating, and it so much easier than purging afterwards.

I've heard that it can lead to increased risk of ulcers if you're preparing your body for food but it never actually gets any. But I'm thinking that if I only swallow some of it (1 in every 10 bites or something) then my body will still be getting some food and I can avoid that.

What do you guys think of this idea? Basically just that I could chew and spit most of my meals only swallowing a little bit of it. That way I could still stuff my face but avoid most of the calories and still be at a significant deficit.

What are your experiences with chewing and spitting? Do you think this could work? Is there another negative side effect to chewing and spitting I'm not thinking about?

[Rant/Rave] Oh my god guys I hit my goal!
/u/knittycat822
Created: Fri Apr 1 13:21:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cxidz/oh_my_god_guys_i_hit_my_goal/
---
I'm finally 0 pounds, I'm so happy!

~~april fools i love you guys~~

[Discussion] Lexapro and weight gain
/u/heytiny [4'11" | 98 lbs | 21.02 | -5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 12:26:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cx6kr/lexapro_and_weight_gain/
---
I was recently put on lexapro and I was wondering, if it can/does cause weight gain or increased hunger. I'm very worried about gaining weight on this medication.

[Rant/Rave] Stretch marks
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 179 | 28.0 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 11:43:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwxmr/stretch_marks/
---
I am absolutely covered in them. I got my first ones on my breasts around 10 or 11 years old, right before puberty, and it's been downhill from there. My boobs, butt, and thighs have a bunch but they're more shallow and harder to notice, and honestly don't really bother me. Even though the ones on my ribs and hips are long and thick and noticeable, they somehow don't bother me, either. But the ones on my stomach, the only ones that came from noticeable weight gain, actually kill me. There's only a couple, and they're white rather than red (and they always have been), but they're so noticeable. They almost make me want to not lose the weight, because it won't be worth it. I feel like my skin will just sag like an empty bag and I'll never be able to wear crop tops and bikinis anyways.

Has anyone who has lost a lot of weight have stretch marks? How do they make you feel about your weight loss, and how have they changed as you lost weight? You never see cute before and after pics of people with stretch marks and I've almost never seen a thin person who isn't a mom with stretch marks. I don't even know how to come around about feeling better about them, and it's not like theyre ever going away...

[Intro] long time lurker, first time poster from an alt; longish intro/history with a question near the end.
/u/tinymum [5'3" | too fucking high | I dont care anymore | whatever | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 11:11:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwqy7/long_time_lurker_first_time_poster_from_an_alt/
---
lets get stats/motivation/history out of the way:

31 years old, female, new mom with a 9 month old baby. 5'3", normally 125lbs, currently 116lbs.

After I had my baby I was overtaken with a desire to **NOT** be a fat mom. I desperately wanted to impress everyone with the depth and speed of my postpartum weight loss. I had gained 60lbs while pregnant, however 30 of that was was baby, viscera, and fluids. I was EXTREMELY bloated through out my entire pregnancy, which bothered me for the whole 9 months. I wanted to be the cute skinny pregnant chick, instead I was swollen and puffy for a majority of it. Additionally, I was absolutely ravenous my entire pregnancy (no morning sickness), its like there was a bottomless pit in my stomach which added to my pregnancy weight gain shame. I tried so hard to stick within the guidelines but I was in pain, hormonal, tired, and I just couldn't do it.

Regardless, by 3.5 months PP I was back into my old clothes, and by 5 months PP I was back in the 120s. Breastfeeding is amazing for weight loss. I read somewhere that breastfeeding burns 20 calories per ounce produced. Concurrently, I also suffered from over supply issues so I was producing a crazy amount of breast milk, which meant I was burning a crazy amount of calories. I don't know if it was subconscious ED will power, or I'm a special snowflake, but I never felt the lactation hunger most women complain about. In fact, after I gave birth my appetite returned to its normal levels.

Anyhoo, that brings me to today. I'm 10/11 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm still breastfeeding, producing about 25-28 ounces a day. However I notice my supply dropping as kiddo eats more and more solid foods, which has given me a bit of a panic. For so long I relied on the intense calorie burn of BF that I ate around 1500-1700 cals a day.

Because of, or in spite of, this realization, my ED behaviors/thinking are triggered. Additionally, my husband got me a wii fit U for my anniversary gift (bless him) which has amplified this trigger.

9 months ago I set my UGW as 120lbs. Then I hit 120lbs and decided hm, might as well take advantage of the BF calorie burn and shoot for 115lbs, my ultimate UGW. Now I'm at 116lbs and I've readjusted my UGW for 110lbs. I haven't been 110lbs since I was in high school. The lowest I've gotten as an adult is 113lbs, and I was heavily into restriction back then. Very faint, moody, depressed, HUNGRY, etc. A coworker called me scrawny and that seemed to snap me out of it.

However now I feel...good. I can eat a reasonable amount (1500 cals) and expect breastfeeding plus exercise to burn it away. But now I'm on a deadline; supply is dropping, and I have at most 3 more months left of breastfeeding.

So like a light switch, my ED (and all that crazy thinking) has been turned on. I've begun exercising compulsively (thanks wii U peodmeter) and cut my calories down to 1300 (I'd like to cut more, but I need at least 1200 for stable breast milk supply).

**My current (irrational) dilemma** is the weight discrepancy between my bathroom scale and the wii u fit board.The wii u fit board puts me at 2lbs lighter (115lbs) than my bathroom scale (117lbs). So I mentally compromised, and settled on 116lbs.

but its bothering me. *I NEED TO KNOW*. This ridiculous 2 lbs discrepancy can make the difference between a good day and sustained motivation, or a bad day and crumbling self esteem.

I almost missed my train this morning because I kept hopping back and forth between both scales, hoping they'd match up.

WAT DO. what scale would you believe? how accurate is a new wii u fit board compared to an oldish digital bathroom scale?

Additionally, am I welcome here? I've been reading for a while and it seems like you ladies are so much more...dedicated than I am. Enh, I feel like I eat so much compared to some of you, and that my UGW is so high compared to other ladies of my stature. Not that any of this is a competition...but I feel like fatty fat fat play acting, despite having these thoughts and behaviors for 15+ years.

Imposter syndrome, I think that's what its called.

As weird as it is, I'm jealous of those of you who don't eat dinner. I absolutely can't get out of dinner; my husband makes it and I'm expected to eat it. Likewise baby man is becoming more aware of what I do, so I need to model good habits for him. I try to restrict as much as I can during the day, but I (un)fortunately need a clear head for work so that means I have to eat breakfast (gag). Its not like the younger days, where I could be powered by caffeine and sheer force of will.

Anyhoo, if you made it this far, thanks for reading!


[Rant/Rave] Does anyone else feel like the most fucked up human on the planet?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 11:11:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwqxj/does_anyone_else_feel_like_the_most_fucked_up/
---
I feel so fucked up like all the time.

Depession, anxiety, insomnia...

Like why the fuck am I so fucked up. Why me? I don't want any of this. It makes me mad at myself which makes it worse.

Like just be fucking normal stupid me... but then at the same time I'm like, no you deserve to wallow in your own filth you scum.




Edit: I'm just going to vent everything right here because I can't even burden anyone in real life with this shit, and I feel like I will actually explode...

I want to die. I actually genuinely wish I could just push a button and dissappear from existence. I'm the biggest burden to my friends. I'm a burden to my family. I'm tired of everything. I suck at everything. I'm tired. Exhausted.

I'm failing at college. I can't even bring myself to do work. I have two essays due on sunday. I haven't started either and instead opted for sitting at my desk and crying all day.

My parents think I'm a lazy sack of shit. I'm happy I can't hear them talking behind my brother and my back anymore. Yeah thats right guys I fucking heard the time you said we were lazy and ignorant. Maybe we are... or at least I am. I wish that miscarriage my mom had survived so I wouldn't exist.

I'm the fucking worst. Genuinely the worst.

I can't even talk to my fucking *therapist* about this because I'm too scared to actually show any kind of emotion besides happy infront of people.

And I get this bouts of emotion when I just get so angry and sad and frustrated and guilty that I ever even get that way at all so I cut myself... and then feel even guiltier for that.

Fuck me I don't deserve this life.

[Rant/Rave] I feel better
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 10:21:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwgr5/i_feel_better/
---
I mean despite the fact I can't go to a show tonight because of my eyes. One eye gets sick and then the other. But I managed not to binge last night. I b/p earlier that day but it's ok. I feel better about myself today. I feel more in control. I like that. My boyfriend is home finally. He's going out with friends tonight so I'll be stuck at home but hell I'm glad he can have a good time. And I guess the brightside is no dinner or beer. Just the 8 o clock liquor call. We shall see. I want my rumchata white russian but they are WAY too high in calories and also expensive to make. So I'm sticking with what I know best. Hopefully my fat brain doesn't rear it's ugly head. Stay skinny loves!

[Rant/Rave] Uuugghhh
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 10:17:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwfwl/uuugghhh/
---
I've been stuck at 125 for close to a week now. My consumption has not been good. Still at a deficit, but way too high. I've been feeling bingey and doing things like snacking on peanut butter. I blame a lot of shit...water weight, stress, lack of sleep, lack of protein, even lack of Splenda (my blood sugar going up and down because I've been putting honey in my coffee instead). But the real problem is I've gotten complacent.

Unfortunately I won't be able to fully restrict this weekend, but I'll do my best to keep it light. Then after next weekend, I might be under medical supervision (for non-ED reasons) which would mean I'd have to eat relatively normally for a month. :/

I just wanted to be 100 by June and it's looking like I won't get there. I might have to aim for 90 by September instead.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! April 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 1 10:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cwd5m/daily_food_diary_april_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for April 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Overshot my goal weight! But what do I do now?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 09:08:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cw35o/overshot_my_goal_weight_but_what_do_i_do_now/
---
Broke my fast this morning after 2 days+2 nights and I'm under my goal weight. It feels so wrong to set my calorie tracker to maintenance goals...anyone have experience with this?

Right now I'm going to see if I can be consistent at 1400 a day, but that seems absurdly high. On the other hand, I don't really want to get below 100. I still see a lot of room for progress but I'm worried that's body dysmorphia talking.

People who hit their goal weights, what was the aftermath like?

[Intro] ProED has actually ended my ED
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Fri Apr 1 09:03:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cw25u/proed_has_actually_ended_my_ed/
---
I developed major depression in early 2011 that switched to bipolar with an amazing anxiety attack at work one day. Since being diagnosed I lost control of my eating. I went from 5'7" and under 140 lbs my whole life to 160 lbs in a year. I would binge eat where every bite physically hurt and kept eating. I had no control multiple times a week. I gained weight constantly and felt disgusting. Knowing I was a lard ass made me worse and I ate because that's what pigs do. When something good happened I ate. When something bad happened I ate. When I was bored I ate.

Then I found you guys. It helped me feel..normall..like it wasn't ok, but it was understandable. Binges happen, but they can be controlled and accepted. It's common in all types of ED. I never perged, and I doubt I ever will. I learned control and acceptance.

Since January I have reduced my full blown binges from 4+ per week to only 4 in all of March.

Is it possible ProED has helped me overcome my BED? I am almost back to the 130's for the first time since 2010. A healthy normal weight for myself. The weight I am when I dream. I have set myself a goal to be in the 120s for the rest of my life.

I am not a dog, I don't reward myself with food.

I ate too much. You don't smash your phone because you dropped it. Pick it up and move on.

Thank you proed for getting me out of my depression and BED. I don't know what I would be if I hadn't gotten help here.

[Rant/Rave] Binged again
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 08:54:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cw0h5/binged_again/
---
Fuck my stupid fucking choices. Yesterday I was perfectly satisfied, hadn't been hungry all day, and had a whooping 260 calories. I was so proud of myself. Then my fat ass saw kettle popcorn in the cabinet and the next thing I know I'm in a full-fledged downward style binge. I ate everything: ramen, easter candy, hot dogs, chili, pizza rolls. Anything I could get my hands on. I hadn't even had any cravings! I just thought "well a little popcorn won't hurt, I've been good all week...." and down I went.

So I cried my eyes out and got drunk last night and today I'm recommitting. I've thrown out any food in my apartment that can tempt me. ANY food. No mac and cheese, no oreo thins, no nothing that I'd want to binge on. I even threw away unopened bags of chips. Hindsight, I should have found a place to donate but fuck it.

Went to Walmart and bought pickles (0-10 calorie), flavored waters (0 calorie), plain frozen broccoli, and water. Until Monday at 6:30pm, I'm only allowed to drink 0 cal drinks and eat no food. Then Monday-Friday I'm at a strict 800cal restriction.

[Goal] weight loss progress
/u/lilaclia [5'4" | 113.2 | 19.4 | -9.8 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 08:38:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cvxvn/weight_loss_progress/
---
I've lost 10.4 pounds since my relapse on 2/26/16. Honestly, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I feel like this ED is controlling me and I don't even have to try very hard to lose weight now; I just listen to the ED. I'm 2.6 pounds away from my next goal weight.

[Discussion] Healthy food alternatives - my lovelies, what say you? Thoughts?
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 07:50:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cvpu6/healthy_food_alternatives_my_lovelies_what_say/
---
http://www.healthy-holistic-living.com/30-unhealthy-foods-you-mistake-as-healthy-and-their-surprising-swaps.html

[Help] ECA stack dosage
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW:118.2 (-10) GW:95 | BMI 22.3 | Female]
Created: Fri Apr 1 07:39:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cvnzw/eca_stack_dosage/
---
Bottle says 3 a day max. How serious is that, like, if I took four or five, is that a big deal?

Also don't know how to flag on mobile D:

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! April 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Apr 1 06:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cv9vt/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_april_01/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for April 01, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] Still feeling like a fraud
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 05:59:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cv9ce/still_feeling_like_a_fraud/
---
I first posted in this sub about a week ago saying about how I wasn't sure I belonged here. And I'm still not sure I do. I still hang out in the 'healthy' weight loss subs under my other username, but I don't think I belong there anymore either.

I don't really know where I belong. I eat healthy (read 1200-1300 calories a day and run about 4.5 miles) for a couple of days. Then freak out about how no one needs to be eating that much food. Spend the next four days eating 600-800 calories and running about 4.5 miles.

When I'm eating healthy I think that's the proper thing to do and I'm all for it. When I'm restricting I know it's wrong, but I feel better. Physically and mentally I feel better when I'm eating less food.

I rarely binge (not that I don't ever, but it's not a common thing for me. Maybe once every six weeks? Every other month?) and never purge. I just swing back and forth between eating super healthy and restricting.

This is a giant ramble. Sorry. I have a stressful thing I need to do this afternoon (only stressful for me, normal people would have no problem doing it) and my anxiety is through the roof right now. Like, my hands are shaking as I type.

Ugh. Why can't I have a normal brain?



[Rant/Rave] Ugh. Fuck me. I ate the tube cookie dough out of the damn garbage
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 05:15:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cv4am/ugh_fuck_me_i_ate_the_tube_cookie_dough_out_of/
---
Like the piece of shit that I am. Honestly more frustrated because i binged yesterday, telling myself it was alright because at least i wasnt getting the cookie dough from the garbage. And that's what i did this morning. I hope i get salmonella. 232g of raw cookie dough. Almost 1000 calories. And no, not technically touched by garbage, but out of the refrigerator for 24+ hours. And now i cant have my dinner that i had planned (i want an overall 700 calorie day) and i have to work hard for the 130 calories i want in alcohol. So look who's walking for like 3 hours!

[Rant/Rave] Fuck food porn
/u/Melusedek [173 | 59.9 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 04:08:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cuxhc/fuck_food_porn/
---
I'm unsubscribing from all the food porn subreddits, especially you /r/DessertPorn. This easter break sucked (I can't bring myself to update my flair) and while I've been slowly getting things back under control, it's not happening fast enough. I don't even know why I subscribed to them in the first place (because I enjoy torturing myself apparently).

So: clean reddit, 14k run, no dinner, just wine with friends. Starting the new month off right.

[Intro] Trying to fix myself. Hey, I missed you guys!
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 116 |18.64| F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 03:47:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cuvbn/trying_to_fix_myself_hey_i_missed_you_guys/
---
I have developed a serious binging problem these past 2 months or so (since I left you guys). My favourite pants are too small for my huge saggy ass. I had to stop with fitness because I had surgery. Bye abs, bye muscles, bye progress... My depression has gotten totally out of control. I think I have failed more than I have succeeded to get out of bed. I hit a new level of self-hatred. I finally sought help, I went to a psychologist at my university and I will be in a 12 week program, I just need to sign myself in (I didn't have the courage yet, because I need to call my doctor and stuff, and I'm having a hard time getting shit done in my life and I'm so scared). I look as rotten on the outside as I feel on the inside. But I'm ready now.

Hey sweeties, I'm back! I log everything that goes into my mouth and I'm slowly getting my intake down to an acceptable level again. I have to be 107 lbs before bikini-weather. I thought it would be good for me to stop browsing this sub but turns out you help me so much by giving me the feeling I'm not totally alone. Thank you.

Weekly pic, missed the usual thread
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Apr 1 01:44:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cujw9/weekly_pic_missed_the_usual_thread/
---
https://imgur.com/a/rs4bq

[Thinspo] K-Pop thinspo video list! (Girls and Guys)
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 141 lbs | -10 | GW 115 | 22.76 | F]
Created: Fri Apr 1 00:33:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cuc7y/kpop_thinspo_video_list_girls_and_guys/
---
I'm so into k-pop, and a lot of the girls (and guys) are my biggest inspirations for being thin. It's also a great, fun distraction for when you wanna binge, or post-purging shame. Great for fashion inspo too!


I tried to put good music on the list as well as great visuals! Enjoy! I know April 1st is a big anxiety day for a lot of us as well as post-Easter, so I hope this helps you stay distracted and positive.



**Girls:**


[Taeyeon - Rain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHir_vB1RUI)


[Girl's Generation - Lion Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVCubhQ454c)


[Brown Eyed Girls - Brave New World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fMnBrts2cg)


[Hyuna - Red](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTXCgR93zC8)


[Orange Caramel - My Copycat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqSF_9Zf0n4)


[Girl's Day - Darling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB4dQcxgJPY)


[IU - Twenty-Three](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42Gtm4-Ax2U)


[Nine Muses - Hurt Locker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sna6j078eOw)


[Ga-In - Paradise Lost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i32ANEa5mk)


[Wonder Girls - I Feel You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9QXQz6uE0M)




**Guys:**


[Taemin - Drip Drop](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz3mm3tPKfg)


[Jonghyun - Crazy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yIDkbbdOoE)


[Jonghyun - Hallelujiah (The backup dancers are also thin and gorgeous!)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNqlFPlNErE)


[SHINee - View](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF53cptEE5k)


[KNK - Knock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYVDIZcb6Og)


[VIXX - Chained Up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqzBrI76e4g)

[Exo - Love Me Right](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuqaVryDRd0P)


[Zico - I Am You, You Are Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewjucLierFc)


[G-Dragon - Crooked](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKhsHGfrFmY)


[Winner - Sentimental](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV9NJGTLm-4)



If this gets enough love, I'll probably make another post for more. If anyone else wants to share their favorite k-pop thinspo please do!

[Rant/Rave] Day two thoughts.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Fri Apr 1 00:26:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cubfk/day_two_thoughts/
---
I have made it a little over 48 hours without food. I have somehow managed to not fuck things up so far and i plan to fast another day. I will force myself to get out of the house and avoid the kitchen even though there is home made mac and cheese leftover from my parents cooking. Newfound vegan me has no interest in non vegan foods. I wish the scale would budge. I feel like all this torture i put myself through is worth it. I want to see results. I want to feel better about myself i wish the scale would just budge. I am retaining water i think and it is freaking me out. I have been the same weight two days now so tomorrow maybe there will be a change.

I enjoy the empty feeling. It feels a little euphoric though i am scared when i will have to eat on saturday. I need to eat at least one meal on saturday more likely two but i think i can keep both under 1000 calories or less. Which shouldn't cause me to lose any of my fasting progress.

[Discussion] I went to my first yoga class!
/u/childshair [5'7 | 107.2 lbs | 16.73 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 21:48:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ctrjw/i_went_to_my_first_yoga_class/
---
I just went to my first yoga class today with a friend!! I haven't worked out in a year and I feel amazing! I was humidified so I sweat a bunch!


[Intro] hey guys
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 21:42:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ctqoo/hey_guys/
---
hey guys, I've been away from here for a while and I guess it was because I thought I was getting better. But a lot of things in my life have gone to shit over the time I've been away and this is the only way I can have any sense of control anymore (ugh) so I've slipped back into my old tendencies. I'm pretty fucking upset because I stepped on the scale and I've gained weight. I'm honestly too ashamed to even update my flair and I've made a pact with myself that I'll update it when I lose weight and I weigh less than what I did pre-gain. Honestly I'm so low lately and I'm glad to be back in a sick way.


[Rant/Rave] Mixed feelings about today
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 20:47:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ctiy8/mixed_feelings_about_today/
---
So, eating wise, I did amazing. I had one bite of banana which I spit out and two cups of black coffee. That's it.

I feel conflicted though because my friend who knows me and also has an ED is clearly upset with me. I mentioned I was having trouble walking and she got really snippy and now I feel really uncomfortable talking to her. She's kind of my go to person for support as well, and now I don't think I can talk to her for a while.

I feel like I shouldn't have said anything; she told me to eat but I really can't. I had such a "good" day because my disorder is so bad. LikeI said, I had to spit out my banana. So... Idk. Lots of mixed feelings :/

[Rant/Rave] I just need to vent
/u/scullayylmao
Created: Thu Mar 31 18:44:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ct0px/i_just_need_to_vent/
---
No flair bc I'm on mobile

Basically I've always had a horrible relationship with food. I had an eating disorder when I was twelve and recovered through that.

I grew up listening to my mom reminisce about when she was a size zero and listen to her say mean things about those who were overweight. I became so scared she would look at me and judge me, that I starved myself.

My highest weight was 143 lbs when I was 17. I ate horribly, didn't exercise and was stressed out. I started running every day and I'm about five months I was at 130.

When I began work I decided that I would only eat breakfast and a snack. In two months I was down to 119. I can't express to you how it felt to see that number.

But it wasn't good enough (it never is, is it?) I wanted to be skinnier. I wanted to be 100 lbs. And when my mom dragged me to the doctors a month later and I stepped on the scale to see 126 lbs, I cried for the rest of the night.

I realized I had a serious problem. But now it has gotten worse. I hate my body. I hate it with a passion. My arms are rolls of fat, my legs are horribly huge. My face is disgustingly fat and I hate having my photo taken.

I can't eat a normal meal without throwing it up. I eat my breakfast and some fruit. Anything other than that I have to throw it up. I'm so afraid of gaining weight. I just want to be skinny.

It felt so good to hear "you're so skinny" even though I didn't believe it at the time. I miss it.

[Discussion] r/ProED Banners?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 18:23:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4csxjz/rproed_banners/
---
Hi guys! So /u/Kaelle and I were chatting and mod u/Noroeste recommended we brought this discussion to everyone!

Our conversation can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnq4e/psa_unwanted_attention_and_harassment/d1jxdnw) but basically we were discussing our banners. Personally, I feel like they kind of make people jump to conclusions about our subreddit being unhealthy/like we're supporting people getting eating disorders, but additionally, it makes it really hard to browse r/ProED. I feel only safe looking at it when I'm alone, I'm afraid someones going to glance at it and catch a glimpse and immediately be suspicious.

I wanted to propose changing both the top and side scrolling banners to something more positive and, more importantly, more conspicuous. I was thinking even positive images of bodies rather than your typical thinspo pics, and maybe more general words of encouragement rather than very clearly ED related quotes.

What do you all think of this? Are you guys interested in a change? Do you have any suggestions for new banners?

[Rant/Rave] boyfriend is supportive of my behaviors
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 124.5 | 21.65 | F | 27y]
Created: Thu Mar 31 17:09:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4csm01/boyfriend_is_supportive_of_my_behaviors/
---
...not sure whether to cry or laugh. I did tell him that I was underweight and lost my period for months when I was 20...but he didn't believe me. When I met him, 5 years ago, bingeing and alcohol abuse had me ballooned up to 145lbs at my HW so he can't imagine me at 95 or lower and that's okay but...

...he actively supports me in my (i thought it was) disordered behavior. Oh you don't want to anything all day, that's fine. And when I do eat he's like..do you really think you should eat that?

I am just confused. I lost about 15lbs from when I started out mid February and my every thought turns around calories and I weigh myself at least 5 times but he thinks it's okay.

I get it, he hated my fat body. He wants a skinny girlfriend...but...I just didnt think he would actively kick my ass each day. I don't know how to put it in words but I feel even worse (self confidence wise) because I know he dislikes my body.

How does your bf react? I cannot talk to him anymore about weightloss but its so hard because its on my mind all the time.

[Discussion] What do you miss?
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 16:32:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4csfui/what_do_you_miss/
---
We all probably remember something about our lives pre-ED. What do you miss about it? I miss not caring what I ate. I swam 3-6 hours a day, everyday for years. I burned so many calories that I could eat a whole sleeve of Oreos. I could go out for a pizza or a buffet and eat and eat and never even think about a calorie.

[Rant/Rave] You guys give me hope
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Thu Mar 31 16:13:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cscyf/you_guys_give_me_hope/
---
I'm tired so I hope I make sense, I've never really done very low kcal restriction, I'm kinda trying to maintain between eating events by not eating a ton, yet keep losing which I don't really mind, I eat 1200-1350 on average, as eating less just makes me binge eat, but I did anyway today and ate a pack of chocolate chip cookies cause the Internet was dead and I couldn't satisfy my food obsession enough to not eat.

That's not why I am making this post though, in the coming 2 weeks I got a grand total of 7 different social events that incorporate social binge eating with no way out for me as one of my friends started being worried about my eating habits (she's diagnosed with an ed). The thought of this food terrifies me, but I realised something that I will just keep repeating to myself, no matter how much you have to eat this day, there will be more than enough days in the future where you can and will making up for it. Even though you overeat enough to gain 1+ kg, you can fucking lose it again as well. All those lovely skinny people on here may have had a terrible binge day, maybe even worse than yours, yet they don't turn into whales to you, you won't either.

Wish me luck, I'm scared. :(

[Discussion] Has anyone ever gotten to their goal weight, and maintained?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Thu Mar 31 15:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cs9mq/has_anyone_ever_gotten_to_their_goal_weight_and/
---
i always see people get to their ultimate goal weight and then they have another goal weight of ten pounds less and it goes on and on. was anyone ever happy with what they looked like at their goal weight and try to stay the same?

[Discussion] Does anyone else actually enjoy this?
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Thu Mar 31 13:48:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crq3e/does_anyone_else_actually_enjoy_this/
---
I love my ED. So much. It makes me happy and I love myself. I love starving all day and then binging and purging before bed. I love the weight loss and compliments and looks. I love getting swimmy when I stand up. I love touching my hips bones as I lay in bed. My ED feels like one of the best and most important parts of me. Sometimes it's the only thing making my life worth living.

[Goal] I need to start new again.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 13:35:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crnwz/i_need_to_start_new_again/
---
I say this every post. I need to restart my day again ): But I've had an infected eye, a sick kid, I just b/p fucking indian food and def didn't get it all up. It hurt my eyes. I can pinch my fat everywhere. I think I officially lost my mind. I hope I can stay fasting.

[Intro] An intro
/u/Backtothedailygrind [5'6.0' | 163.6 | 26.51 | -56.2 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 13:30:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crn4f/an_intro/
---
Hey all,

I've been lurking for a few days, created an account I'm comfortable using last night. Just thought I'd say hi and introduce myself since that seems to be a common thing to do.

I'm both relieved to be back on a pro-ED forum and really sad, I'm sure there are a few of you here who know exactly what I mean. I've never been diagnosed with an ED professionally, nor have I ever been such a low or high weight it was really necessary.

I've never been comfortable in my body. About 7 years ago something finally clicked and I knew I could lose weight if I wanted. I lost 30 pounds in about 2 months, which was maybe not a lot considering I weighed 190. I stalled majorly at 160 and started the infinitely frustrating binge->exercise purge->restrict->binge cycle that plagued me for months. Stupid teenage me had no will power.

I don't know what about joining the military made me stop restricting, but over 2 years I gained 70 pounds. All the bingeing, no (effective) purging. I lost 40 pounds through massive restriction over a 2-3 month time period, but eventually fell right back into eating more than a horse. Made it back up to 220 eventually.

A year ago, something clicked again and I started trying in earnest to lose weight. Counting calories, exercising within reason - just typical dieter stuff. Lost 40 pounds in 6 months. The last 6 months I've been technically losing, (10 pounds), but just ultra slow. Trying to balance the food I want and need and being social hasn't been working. I wanted so recently and so badly to eat like a normal person.

I don't know what suddenly changed but I'm no longer interested in health or anything. I just want this blubber gone. I can't see anything but thunder thighs and bingo wings when I look in the mirror. I'm craving the feeling of hunger and physical exhaustion again.

I'm not eating this month unless it'd be suspicious for me not to (dinner with my husband, mostly). I have too much weight to lose to look suspicious this early. At least since it's spring, I can put in a ton more veggies in our meals without it being odd. Time to break that 160 LW.

Hope everyone is fantastic <3

[Discussion] A new month - any plans?
/u/coffee-and-books [5"7 | GW 110 | -12.5 lbs]
Created: Thu Mar 31 13:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cri5r/a_new_month_any_plans/
---
I'm breaking a three-day fast tomorrow with 500 calories a day in liquids only. I'm not sure how long I can keep that up before I introduce solids, but... a new month makes me feel determined. What are you changing this month?

[Discussion] Fasting - feeling powerful
/u/coffee-and-books [5"7 | GW 110 | -12.5 lbs]
Created: Thu Mar 31 12:44:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crf67/fasting_feeling_powerful/
---
I'm on day 3 of eating 200 calories or less in liquids. Mornings are always the hardest because when I binge it's usually right after I wake up. But now I'm learning to go straight to the scale and motivating myself. I'm down 12.5 lbs from 24 days of restriction. Admittedly, I've slipped up several times, but I'm gaining control. It feels good.

Since tomorrow is a new month I think I will start a juice fast with a little more calories. I feel so good with my body empty.

[Discussion] Just joined MFP! Care to share your usernames?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 12:27:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4crcax/just_joined_mfp_care_to_share_your_usernames/
---
I'd love to see what you lovely ladies eat! my username is mp4vs49 :D

[Goal] Tomorrow is the 1st.
/u/Rumplefatskin [5'6.5" | Corpulent | -20.4| F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 12:16:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cragj/tomorrow_is_the_1st/
---
[Can't flair, mobile. Sorry. šŸ˜]

So tomorrow is the first of April.
March 2016 is the last month of failure.
Starting at midnight, I will be good.
I will stop stuffing my fat face.

I will be stronger than this.
Finally.

Goals:
I will be 20+ lbs lighter by May 1.
I will not drinking soda.
I will take an EC stack 3x a day 5-6x a week.
Wear my Fitbit every day.
Weigh myself daily.
[...will add more when I think of them. šŸ˜‰]


You're more than welcome to share your April goals. šŸ˜€

[Goal] I made this post about goals a while back
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 31 12:06:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr8sc/i_made_this_post_about_goals_a_while_back/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49cb7n/lets_share_our_goals_and_rewards/

How are we doing ladies and gents?

For me: I'm still 1,5 kgs away from my goal.. The first 8 kgs were easy, but it got a lot harder after that. Still want the straightner tho, gonna work my ass of to get it lol

[Rant/Rave] (Rant) my mom totally flipped out this morning over a f*cking magazine
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:58:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr7d8/rant_my_mom_totally_flipped_out_this_morning_over/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How to stop stomach rumbling?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:41:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr4eh/how_to_stop_stomach_rumbling/
---
I have an hour and a half therapy session in two hours and I don't want it to be making lots of noise as we awkwardly stare at each other in silence

[Tip] Fantastic reverse thinspo: overweight "mukbangs" / eating videos (link included, I feel nauseous)
/u/HiccupKitten [5'4" I 110.8 I 19.0 I -5 lbs I F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:21:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr0y7/fantastic_reverse_thinspo_overweight_mukbangs/
---
Stopped a binge! This video totally quelled my urge to eat fried chicken and a big savory meal:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haPt8T6TTg0

Sort of mean for me to say, but she is so overweight, watching her eat all this was both satisfying (for the hungry part of me) and also revolting (because anti-thinspo).

I no longer feel like gorging on that shi*t.

Hope someone else is helped by this too :)


[Rant/Rave] Frustrated
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:18:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cr0bj/frustrated/
---
Even though I've been eating less every day, I weighed myself and I've only lost a pound across a day, and I went to the gym yesterday. I'm so frustrated. I'm working so hard and I keep thinking about food but then I think about how I only lost a pound. And I look in the mirror and Ijust look so overweight and I can't deal with this.

[Goal] A small victory against Bulimia!
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 146lbs | 22.7 | 34lbs | ]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:14:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqzpt/a_small_victory_against_bulimia/
---
It's been so long on this stupid b/p cycle that I've forgotten what losing weight feels like! I've felt like s**t for weeks and thought I'd treat myself to new jeans. I bought my standard size which is 12 (US 8) and they're so loose!

I've never needed a belt to wear size 12's before!!

I hope everyone else is doing okay today.

I guess I just wanted to share that it's possible, we can do this

[Rant/Rave] I just want to cry
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:09:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqyxr/i_just_want_to_cry/
---
I ate a 320 calorie fucking cookie and I only have like 100 calories left for today and I haven't had any dinner yet. I want to cry my eyes out. I have been so bloated lately so I feel even more fat and gross. I tried to eat a normal amount yesterday but I just feel like shit now about it. I ate so much and drank so much the scale said I was 110 when I am 102. I know theres no way I gained 8Ibs but I still feel like I might as well be 500Ibs at this point. I complained to a friend about that cookie and he just told me to calm down but it just made me even more upset. I just want to sleep forever but I can't :c I just want to feel pretty and small instead of feeling like a whale with no willpower.

[Rant/Rave] Finally got weight-related comments
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Thu Mar 31 11:06:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqyi8/finally_got_weightrelated_comments/
---
It was hard to contain the bubbling excitement of knowing that I look like I have objectively lost weight. Up until now, nobody has said anything. It made me wonder if my fears about looking the same despite weight loss...was in fact, a reality.


A co-worker made a comment about me eating the treats I'm bringing to a meeting tomorrow because "most people pack on 10 lbs in the winter" but I "somehow managed to lose weight". Another co-worker chimed in that that I'm "tiny".


I fumbled around with my keys on my way out to order from the bakery, and just awkwardly smiled. I don't know why this is even an accomplishment. But it's a relief to know that I am making progress and dwindling down, even if I can't quite see it.



[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 31 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqnlb/daily_food_diary_march_31_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 31, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I wasn't having the same level of success as I was before...
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 09:20:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqgw1/i_wasnt_having_the_same_level_of_success_as_i_was/
---
so I went back on phentermine. I weighed myself this week and I've been hovering around the same spot for 3 weeks and I finally got sick of it and made an appointment to see the doctor the next day. I can't stand to look like this a second longer. Makes me want to punch myself in the face and tear my hair out.

[Help] my two favorite weight charts-help keep you motivated to keep up the accepted standard
/u/spacecadetjulliette
Created: Thu Mar 31 09:18:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqgly/my_two_favorite_weight_chartshelp_keep_you/
---
http://imgur.com/a/FGz9e

[Goal] I like a challenge
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Thu Mar 31 09:03:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqe78/i_like_a_challenge/
---
At my doctor's appointment, I'm pretty sure I frustrated the hell out of her. She offered various suggestions to keep from losing weight, such as "eating more snacks". She also suggested taking a multi-vitamin. Thing is, I'm not exactly trying to be healthy. I don't want to gain weight.


Anyway, she said that my weight wasn't "dangerously low". She said, "Now, if it were below 16, it would be more of an issue". Of course, to someone with an ED, that was hard to hear. I am obsessive about numbers, and played around with the BMI calculator. I don't even need to lose that much to get to a sub 16...just 5 lbs or so for good measure in the mid-15s. I could do it within a month with some discipline.


I'm supposed to go to treatment sometime in late April or May now, but just one last time, one last time, I want to feel the rush of losing weight. I want to live a real, normal life. I do. I wish people understood that it is so much more than "wanting help". I feel like it's so ingrained in me that it stopped feeling like a choice a long time ago.


I don't want help. But I think I need it. I don't want to live this way, especially because my goals aren't about looking good in clothes, a bathing suit, or for an event. My goal is to look sick, feel sick, and maybe die. I guess that's why I'm going later sometime next month or in early May. If anything, I can get out of work. I don't want to live this way anymore, but for the next month, I like a challenge...just 5 more lbs.

[Rant/Rave] My ED makes me so paranoĆÆd
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 31 08:49:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cqc0g/my_ed_makes_me_so_paranoĆÆd/
---
I usually prep cucumbers with vinegar and leave it in the fridge for the next day so y'know, it tastes really nice. Lately I've been freaking out about my roommates throwing in oil or something. Unprepared cucumbers it will be :(

[Goal] Broke my plateau!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 08:21:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cq7tq/broke_my_plateau/
---
After 3 days of being stuck at 123.4, I'm finally 122.2!!! I did a coffee fast yesterday and took a diuretic and the scale has *finally* gone down. I know 3 days isn't a very long time for a plateau but I have never experienced anything like that before.

My goal was to be 120 by Sunday but I don't know how plausible that is since it's Thursday and I'm a whopping 122. Anyways, I'm just so happy the scale finally budged.

[Rant/Rave] I'm Pretty Sure I Would Have a Thigh Gap if I wasn't Knock-Kneed: and other stories.
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 08:14:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cq6r5/im_pretty_sure_i_would_have_a_thigh_gap_if_i/
---
*Feet together, knees together*

Thighs running straight beside one another

Down toward the knees that knock together

Down toward the feet I've pressed together


Jealous of all of you bow-legged beauties

Feet all together

Thighs all apart

I grip the bits at the top where my gap should be

As if by strength

Could pull it apart


*Skip dinner, wake up bloated*

Entire GI protesting its emptiness

Inflammation filling that would-be bikini bridge

Raging and roiling, threatening if left empty

To make me nonsensically fatter


Jealous of all you empty, beautiful bellies

Floating through fasts

Drifting EC stacks

I scramble just one egg in the smallest of pans

As if by sheer willpower

Could make my gut stop


*Everything tastes better than skinny feels*

Going out with my gourmet and foodie friends

Discussing our recipes over a coffee

Feeling my sweet tooth rage in my head


Jealous of all the imaginary others

Who I know in my fantasy are better than me

Taking a pill

Feeling your fill

I serve myself just one bite of pie this time

Praying to goddesses

It could be my last?


If I could stop, I would

Oh to not care

To skip over the mirror

Except to do hair

If I could love myself

And feed me to live

Oh what a life

Oh what I would give


[Rant/Rave] 3113. [Rant]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 31 08:03:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cq4z6/3113_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I really liked the way my arm looked in this...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 07:20:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpz16/i_really_liked_the_way_my_arm_looked_in_this/
---
http://imgur.com/Jne2f6C

[Help] Weight gain after surgery
/u/skinnyhotlinebling [1.75 | 57 kg | 18.3 | - 19 kg | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 07:08:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpxkt/weight_gain_after_surgery/
---
Hello! Maybe I'm dumb, but I'm having na anxiety attack. I couldn't weight myself in the hospital and I had to eat their foods (my surgery was on monday and I've been there until yesterday). Today, when it was possible for me to weight myself, I saw that I am 3 kg heavier (6.7 pounds!) and I'm really freaking out. Is this normal? Does this happen? Or have I eaten too much? I don't trust anyone to talk about this, except you.

PS: I can't eat knowing this and my mother is going crazy, saying that I won't get better if I don't eat after surgery. But I just can't, I just feel like throwing up and I'm feeling so sick.

[Goal] I will lose weight by graduation
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 06:28:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpsax/i_will_lose_weight_by_graduation/
---
I look back on my high school graduation and cringe. I didn't know how to do my hair or makeup, so my face looks splotchy and my hair stringy with grease. The dress I'm wearing is awful...

I refuse to look back on my college graduation with the same disdain. I WILL look good in my pictures. That starts with losing weight. I weighed in at 127.4lbs this morning and I will weigh in at 118 or less on the morning of graduation. I have already lost 3lbs in 3 days of restricting and exercising, so I really think I can do it. Haven't been dealing with much hunger or cravings either.

I WILL do this. The only person that can make me fail is myself. I am in control.

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 31 06:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpp6o/weekly_emotional_support_march_31_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] I have been bad this week again
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 31 05:57:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpoox/i_have_been_bad_this_week_again/
---
But I haven't gained any or much weight yet. I don't know why or if it's suddenly gonna be there but after binging on fucking reeses pieces and butter flavored pretzels(the whole bag) everyday while getting fucked has got to have some impact. I've fallen off the wagon food and drink wise. I punished myself with laxatives. My stupid fat ass is still hungry this morning. I'm going to drink as much water as possible and tell my lardy stomach to fuck off. Hopefully I'll get set straight.

[Goal] I am now more than 10 kg
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 31 04:00:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpdcb/i_am_now_more_than_10_kg/
---
away from my heighest weight. 10 kg, I still look so fat, God, I must've looked like a whale before.

Underweight BMI here I come, 2 kg away

[Goal] Small goal!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 31 03:49:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cpcag/small_goal/
---
The scale said 115 today! It's the last day of my fast so I know once I eat something again it'll go back up a little but this was one of my mini goals and I said I'd reward myself. I was thinking maybe a memebox set with some cute beauty products? One of the sale ones though, they are expensive. Or maybe maangchi's cookbook? It's hard to think of rewards that aren't food, like as a child we are given candy if we are well behaved. Maybe that's part of what gives people strange relationships as food. From a child, for some people at least, candy or sweets were a reward and vegetables were like a punishment - "Eat your vegetables or no tv."
I've gone off on a tangent, but...

I really liked fasting and didn't feel hungry after the first 24 hours, just felt really comfortable and relaxed. I planned on eating today at 7 pm but I might just drag this on for a bit longer, either that or some real right restricting.

Thank you everybody for your support!

[Rant/Rave] Don't want to abuse my (old) prescription meds, but damn did they make me lose weight :/
/u/coffee4kate [5'8'' | 152 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 22:38:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cojti/dont_want_to_abuse_my_old_prescription_meds_but/
---
We just watched a 30min video/documentary in class today about drug abuse, and now I feel even worse about wanting to start taking some of my old vyvanse pills again just to lose weight :( Like don't worry, they were prescribed to me for my ADHD, I used them exactly as directed, but they gave me some heart rate issues so I switched to Concerta a year ago, but Vyvanse made the pounds melt off while Concerta doesn't do much of any appetite supression for me and I've put on 15lbs in the last year. I still have a bottle of Vyvanse in my cupboard and it's so tempting to want to take them and drop some easy pounds but I don't want to form an addictive habit! Agh!!

[Rant/Rave] Premature concern from roommates
/u/goodbyetumtum [5'5 | 161.2 | 27.14 | -28.8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 22:17:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cohdk/premature_concern_from_roommates/
---
My roommates have been keeping an eye on me lately and have been questioning my actions. They've been asking me if I've eaten certain meals and what exactly I've had to eat. They have also started noticing that I go to the gym twice a day. For my first run, I try to go early in the morning before they wake up, but I guess I've been getting sloppy. I just feel so stressed out because I am very technically overweight (in my opinion obese). So for the sake of my own health, I NEED to lose weight. I don't understand why they're paying such close attention to me! It's like they want to sabotage my progress before it even began :(

[Rant/Rave] I love counting my ribs
/u/fiddlyduck [5'0 | 95 | 19.54 | -30.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 21:48:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4codvj/i_love_counting_my_ribs/
---
When I was at my lowest weight (93), I could easily count my ribs. I gained three and a half pounds since then and it's a bit harder to count them now. If I suck my stomach in, I can definitely see each individual bone.

Also, I love my collarbones. They're so...sensual. I tap them when I'm thinking sometimes and it freaks my friends out a little haha.

Edit: sorry, I'm on mobile. Will flair when I get to a computer.

[Intro] Looks like I'm sticking around. Hi.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:59:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co7lc/looks_like_im_sticking_around_hi/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Fasting Diary: day one without and as a vegan
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:31:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co3xv/fasting_diary_day_one_without_and_as_a_vegan/
---
Trying this again because it gives me something to aim for. I feel alone in this. I recently decided to go vegan again after many haphazard instances. I want to be vegan for ethical reasons but also because i know my worst trigger foods aren't vegan. It is a challenge to eat more raw and natural things when i do choose to eat. I want to try and establish a fast and restriction pattern. This is my choice. I know i can fast up to three or four days before i need to eat. I wanted to fast from monday to friday but i binged yesterday. It has almost been 24 hours since my last binge so I am taking the time to collect my thoughts.

I am trying to take my mind to other places and remain out of the kitchen. A place i feel uneasy being in. I have had my share of coffee, tea and diet coke today. I should feel worst about diet coke but the carbonation makes me feel more full. It takes me back to when i fasted and restricted and worked out excessively in highschool and got down to 130lbs my lowest weight which for a guy is pretty low i guess for my height anyway. I wish i could go back there but that is 60lbs away. Maybe some day if i can learn to eat again.

I wish i could be more open with my girlfriend about wanting to fast and just eat less. We have both been trying to eat less but i don't think she is as disordered as i am. She did ballet as a little girl and knew the pressure but never struggled to the extent i did. She loves me even though i feel fucked up and worthless. She said she would love me no matter what my weight is but i truly want to be beautiful for her.

I want others to be jealous of her for having me. I want people to envy me or to want to be me or to think i am good looking for once in my life. It consumes me and drives me mad. I commit to ideas of fasting and restricting then in instances i eat too much and it has been a real problem lately. I feel uncomfortable in my own body.

I wish i could feel my ribs like i used to. I wish i could fit into jeans I have in the back of my closet. I wish i could tuck in my shirts without an unsightly male muffin top in my lower back and my stomach. I want to be thin. I want to be delicate.

Several people have told me to try incrementally eating less and it is something i am willing to work on but i feel like fasting drives me. I feel euphoric from fasting and like it quickens the process. I want to fast until I can get to a low enough weight where i can be satisfied losing a pound or two a week from eating regularly. I will fast until that point and try to cycle fasting and restricting. I know my mind can over come the urges of my body.

I feel like being vegan is a difficulty I am open to. I can eschew the foods i used to derive comfort and pleasure from for others which might be healthier choices. I dont know a single overweight vegan and i know at least a dozen. I want to try and eat more fruits instead of sweets and more veggies instead of carbs and breads. I think between trying to dial back my portions and omitting things that aren't vegan I am setting myself up for success over failure.

I feel weak right now but I know the moment will pass. When the clock hits 8:00pm it will have been a whole day and I will be one day the richer in my fast.

I worry the most about tomorrow how i will keep this going. I need to keep myself busy and out of the house and especially the kitchen. I am supposed to see a movie tomorrow night but until then I am left to my own devices. I don't trust myself when i am alone. I binge the most when I am alone. I know if i can make it through one day i can make it through another and saturday and sunday i will have to eat but i can go to the gym and burn off some of what i will be eating.

Thank you to anyone who reads my posts. I feel so alone in this and appreciate the support from all you wonderful and beautiful strangers.

-P

[Help] Is there a tool like this?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:19:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co284/is_there_a_tool_like_this/
---
I'd love to see a website where you put in your height/weight/gender and a desired amount of calories to burn and it spits out the amounts of time for different exercises that will burn that number of calories.

[Help] Concerned about how my ED is affecting me! Ahh!
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:16:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co1uc/concerned_about_how_my_ed_is_affecting_me_ahh/
---
[No flair, on mobile]
Hi everyone, so in the past couple of months I've dropped 30 lbs from restricting and binging and purging (mostly restricting). I've noticed that now that I've lost more than 30 lbs, my hair is starting to fall out wayyy more than ever before. I just went on a 48 hour fast and holy dick did it take a toll on me. For a week prior I had been eating completely vegan and under 500. And then bam, nothing for two days. I was hit with feeling like I was going to pass out at any second coupled with extreme fatigue, and when I didn't feel that way, I was energetic. I had chest pains too. My heart started to beat so hard that it hurt. I took a hot bath to try to sweat out the water weight and I ended up almost fainting in the tub. Something about the heat and hunger even AFTER breaking my fast with a 700 kcal meal. I'm woozy as fuck. The one thing I'm going to try to do is eat a little breakfast in the morning (carrots and hummus) with tea. Hopefully it gets better.



Has this happened to anyone else on here? Is this a normal thing for people with EDs? What are your suggestions, is this a very bad sign that I should take note of? Thank you for your help in advance.

[Tip] Help a charity while you run!!
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 20:05:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4co0i8/help_a_charity_while_you_run/
---
There's this awesome app called Charity Miles which tracks your running; they donate money to a charity of your choice depending on how much you exercise! You also can use it just by walking, so if you are a student and walk around campus a lot or have a job that involves a lot of moving about, you can donate to charity the entire time :)

There are lots of charities to choose from, and I find it super motivating to keep going to give more!

[Help] Question about ABC?
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 19:39:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnwy2/question_about_abc/
---
Is it bad to go (way) under the cals you're supposed to have on a certain day? Like, does it not work? So if its an 800 day and I do lets say 600 vs 400 vs 200, does that affect it? Specifically, would that affect it in a negative way?

[Help] Am I making up excuses or being reasonable?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 19:36:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnwkc/am_i_making_up_excuses_or_being_reasonable/
---
My weight has been both much higher and quite a bit lower than right now. When I was smaller, I would get a lot of cardiovascular from running. When I tried to get back into running at a higher weight, it was all bad. My joints aren't all that sturdy and I easily jammed my ankles.

So originally I told myself that once I got back down to my first goal weight, I would incorporate more cardio. It's about 15 lbs away. But I also don't want to end up being a little bitch and using the fear of hurting my ankles and knees as an excuse to not go jogging. Maybe I should try when I hit a BMI of 25? I'm just so afraid of hurting my stupid shit joints.

Anyone with similar stats take up running too early and regret it?

I'm also a little freaked out about protein. I don't know how in the fuck someone eats that much protein!! 36g? I'm lucky to get 12 a day. I don't like most meat, and tofu is full of phytoesteogens, so... :/ Lactose intolerant too. I won some sort of terrible lottery.

[Help] Hair questions help :(
/u/wearingmyfatpants
Created: Wed Mar 30 19:27:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnv98/hair_questions_help/
---
Short intro; been a secret EDNOS since I can remember, and had some bad general health problems outside of my control which made it hard to gain weight. Ballooned ridiculously after having a kid due to the "treat yo'self" mentality that new mom's are encouraged to be a part of. Realized how gross I was and have lost almost 40 lbs putting me into 21 bmi and still going strong!
But really I don't wanna do much of an intro cuz I'm self conscious and feel like a total fraud who doesn't deserve to belong :(

Anyway, even though I'm not even close to underweight I'm having some shitty side effects to the fasting and restrictions I've been doing the last ~8 months.

My nails are thinner and more brittle...
My skin is a bit papery, but lotion in 2x a day seems to fix this as well as keeping up with water intake.
Feeling cold and achey more than usual.
Hard time hiding my fasting from the other 4 people I live with :(


But the MAIN concern I have is my hair....I used to have such thick curly hair that it was a damn inconvenience and I couldn't do many hairstyles cuz there was just too much of it D:
But I have been losing SO SO much of it, I have about a quarter of the hair I used to have...and really it's not super noticeable to anyone but me. But I *keep* losing...and chunk every time I brush it and another every time I wash it D:
I've been freaking out for awhile over this.

On another note I *REALLY* want to dye a section of my hair platinum blond, and then dye that section pink...I've wanted this *so* bad, and for *so* long...
I'm just worried that with already having massive hair loss the section I dye will all fall out and I'll be a hideous freak who has to wear a hat for two years D,:

The tiny silver lining is that the hair I DO have seems pretty healthy; lustrous, shiny, not brittle or split ends or dryness....I guess I got that going for me?


Does anyone have any advice or experience with this?

[Rant/Rave] I didn't do that great or that bad
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 19:19:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnu8n/i_didnt_do_that_great_or_that_bad/
---
Alcohol is still a my very beloved vice. It's hard to fight it. Especially since I've atleast managed to wait until 8 to drink. However the food...yeah I fucked up. I was hungry today and weak. I paced a lot. I shouldn't have eaten that goddamn biscuit barn biscuit. I swear they are the largest biscuits in all of georgia. And it had cheese and mother fucking egg and bacon on it. Then I ate pretzles with my sandwich (which i usually wouldnt even have) llike an idiot. Goddammit. I blew it again. Tonight I'm having my drink. It's wierd I can't wait for tmrw to start....baby goes to school and I go to the gym and I get to be at work till 3. Hopefully will restrain my fucking self. I'll be begging for 8 to come around again....i hate myself for that. My alone time. I need to behave and restrict. Tmrw will be over before I know it. I can't wait. I can't wait for everyday to be over. That's fucked up isn't it? Hopefully I don't feel this way forever. I can feel time slipping away. My age doesn't matter. I don't matter. I'm tired and can't sleep. I'm a failure and I just want to drink and sleep and I guess eat like a pig. I can't wait for the days to end.

[Rant/Rave] Updated my lair weight, but forgot my BMI! Semi-pleased.
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 18:49:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnqa6/updated_my_lair_weight_but_forgot_my_bmi/
---
Sorry I'm posting a lot, I'm just having a just really obsessive day today. I just got around to updating my flair from 160 to 157, and forgot to change that my BMI went from 27.0 to 26.53. It's always nice to see it go down even half a point. Unfortunately I still have 12 lbs down to go until I make it do not being classified as "Overweight". I just feel so vexed every time I go to the doctor and they call me overweight. Even though I've only really started since the beginning of the month, I can already tell the 7 lbs went away just from the poofiness of my stomach. Can't wait for more to go! I have a long way to go until 130 (first major GW)

[Discussion] PSA: Unwanted attention and harassment
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 18:48:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnq4e/psa_unwanted_attention_and_harassment/
---
As you may be aware, every now and then someone will stumble across our community one way or another and try to cast /r/proED in a negative light. Many people are quick to judge and never realize that we are a place for love and support.

**Please continue to keep our sub a safe place by reporting comments and posts that break our rules, as listed in the sidebar.**

If you receive any PMs that make you unsafe, please *block the sender.* We may ban offenders from /r/proED but they will still be able to message you. Report anyone who harasses you via PM to Reddit Admin.

[Rant/Rave] Home Alone (an abstract poem)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Wed Mar 30 18:23:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnmlo/home_alone_an_abstract_poem/
---
No one is here but me, sitting solemnly waiting for the day to end.
hours tick by from minutes, from seconds, waiting for it all to stop,

The compulsion digs and tears at my mind telling me, it's not enough, the voice that criticizes and divides cuts so rough into soft weakened esteem,

I dream of innocence, bites without regret, meals without feeling defeated, I sit and enduring the outward silence. Seconds ticking to minutes, forming hours. I wish i could sleep. I can't rest only endure the agony of consciousness.

Blissful thoughts of some days and moments when i can care less about each morsel or bite, instead only fear and disgust without delight, weighing down like a wet blanket or a sweats restricting the skin, itchy and scratchy to the touch, so savagely unavoidable.

key strokes, key boards, distractions for the time being, prolonging the inevitable binge that would follow as it always has. Lurking in the back of the mind. Just a bite, just one little bite it says.

It is never just one, It is the end of the new beginning. A loss for every gain, A gain on top of loss, lost in the pile of flesh I have become, Severed from my own control. I wait. I listen to the growling, praising it. I want more. I want to be less.

Home alone, without anyone else, just dream of eventual health, sane thoughts and delight instead of perpetual fear going into the night.

[Tip] PSA: if you binge and eat a lot of fatty food, eat pickles to help neutralize your stomach and make you feel a bit better hopefully.
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 18:18:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnlwz/psa_if_you_binge_and_eat_a_lot_of_fatty_food_eat/
---
Coming from your spy in fine dining restaurant cooking, if you binge on lots of fatty food, eating something acidic will make you feel better. Pickles, sauerkraut, pickled vegetables of all sorts would help out a lot. When I make desserts for specials and stuff when I make a cheesecake or something I always serve with with a little lightly pickled fruit to balance the dish. Food chemistry is fun! Fermented foods are also low in calories and finding ones you like best is fun, but they are super great for your digestive system.



Sorry on mobile so no flair :(

[Rant/Rave] I am a fat sack of shit
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:56:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cniqy/i_am_a_fat_sack_of_shit/
---
So the photos from my lingerie shoot will be ready for a viewing. The ones I posted my selfies from.

My fiancƩ decided he'd rather spend time with his hobby instead of coming to see them.

Asked my best friend and they don't want to, probably because he'd get embarrassed at anyone thinking he was with me.

I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm an embarrassment. Who the fuck was I kidding thinking I could be sexy? Not even sure I'll go myself. Going alone and having to explain why I have no one.

I'm fucking pathetic. Going on a fast until I can be less of a fucking show.

[Intro] Well, I've been looking through this subreddit for a few days...
/u/brlouse [5'2 | 120.5 | 22.0 | -10.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:25:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnefd/well_ive_been_looking_through_this_subreddit_for/
---
...And I've finally decided to make an account and join you guys! So, hi. Not really sure what else to write here right now but I did want to say hello since it seems like a fair amount of you do know each other/make friends on here. I'm looking forward to connecting with you guys!

[Rant/Rave] Feeling so impatient...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:19:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cndmc/feeling_so_impatient/
---
Ugh... I know it's important to be patient when it comes to weight loss, but is there a better way to cope with the nagging urge to hve the weight gone now.

I wish so fucking hard that I was skinny now even though I know it's going to take weeks. Arrggh...

[Discussion] What's the weirdest thing you eat?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:13:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cncoi/whats_the_weirdest_thing_you_eat/
---
Just had a big mug of Old Bay dissolved in hot water because it's freezing in my house and lately I have been craving all the salt on earth. Took me a minute to realize how bizarre that must look to others. And sometimes when I need a reset I'll make a huge pot of vegetable stuff - carrots, celery, onion, maybe a tomato, cauliflower purƩed in a lot of water and cooked long enough to taste not raw, then purƩed more - and eat/drink mugs of it with different spices and stuff.



[Help] Help with getting help..
/u/justwanttolikemyself [5'1" | 101 | -43lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:10:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cncc2/help_with_getting_help/
---
So my teacher at school approached me a few weeks ago and wanted to talk to me about something, turned out her and a few other members of staff were worried about me and suspected eating problems. We've had a few more discussions since then and everything seems to be going in the direction of me seeking genuine help (therapy of some sort) and telling my parents, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be like this, it's so stressful and painful, physically and mentally draining, but there are so many reasons I don't want help. I'm not even underweight, it seems ridiculous to get help, false even? Will anyone take me seriously? I don't know what to do i'm too fat for help, I want to lose more weight but I also want to feel better. I'm so torn.. If I tell my parents and seek help am I going to end up regretting it? Does that mean the total end of my weight loss? Advice anyone??

[Goal] 5'4.25", 94.8 lbs, BMI 16.43. Starting to like changes to my back...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 17:00:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cnasb/5425_948_lbs_bmi_1643_starting_to_like_changes_to/
---
https://i.imgur.com/MjD8ehp.jpg

[Intro] New
/u/JekllyLovesHyde [5'6'' | 112.4| 18.22 | -4 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 16:56:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cna8t/new/
---
Hey, I've lurked for awhile so thought it was time to introduce myself. I've had disordered eating for years and managed to stay at around 95-98lbs for all of high school and some of university. After starting new medication the weight just piled on and I'm looking to get back to my previous low weight.

[Discussion] I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner....
/u/Miellix [5'5.5" | 154lbs | 25.2 | -4lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 16:42:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cn853/i_asked_my_husband_what_he_wanted_for_dinner/
---
...and he said "cereal"!
I love fend-for-yourself night! I can get away with eating almost nothing.

[Intro] Thought I'd finally introduce myself after 4 months of lurking!
/u/operaoxide [5'8" | 187.9 | 28.6 | GW: 115 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 15:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmyci/thought_id_finally_introduce_myself_after_4/
---
Hey guys, just thought I'd make a quick intro post after I've been lurking so long. I'm 17 going on 18 from Canada. This is my alt account because my sister knows my main account. I don't have my stats displayed because I am genuinely embarrassed of them, especially because I am overweight and I feel like I don't really belong here because of that. I struggled with BED most of my childhood and then lost around 40lbs by restricting. I felt amazing, but then I started high school and my parents divorced three years ago and I bounced backed to exactly where I was before I lost weight. I'd really really love to get back to where I was and beyond.

Sorry for the rambles. Hope you guys are having a nice day :) See you around

[Thinspo] Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 15:21:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmvlq/nothing_tastes_as_good_as_skinny_feels/
---
http://imgur.com/a/zez6F

[Discussion] Ask a pharmacy technician anything.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 30 15:10:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmtsj/ask_a_pharmacy_technician_anything/
---
I worked as a pharmacy technician at a large chain for about a year and got my certification and everything. I know people have a bunch of questions about EC stacks/reactions/do we judge you when you check out bronkaid/etc. feel free to ask me anything you want!

[Rant/Rave] (ąø‡'Ģ€-'Ģ)ąø‡
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 30 15:04:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmsyg/ąø‡ąø‡/
---
my period is coming up soon and it can fight me. the bloat is real. i am craving a pickle sandwich (?). i will not eat today! aunt flo will not win this time. i'm gonna watch mad men on netflix and look at thinspo until my eyes bleed. i cried yesterday because i love my dog so much, i wish the hormones would cool it.

[Help] People who are the primary cooks in the house...seeking advice.
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 14:46:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmpyc/people_who_are_the_primary_cooks_in_the/
---
Hi. So, I live with my SO and he's great. Super great and really supportive of me. But I can't very well just not eat because we live together and he loves me and knows about my issues and would notice the f*** out of me literally not eating. Right now I'm unemployed so I don't eat all day and then when he comes home I know I have to cook and eat dinner. To try and maintain my sense of control, I cook everything we eat (much to his sadness. He loves to cook too). My problem is that whereas I'm comfortable eating a dinner that's like...200calories, he is not. Sometimes I get away with really low-cal things, like a recipe from Skinnytaste or I make breakfast for dinner but generally he's hungry after work and wants an actual dinner. My god do you even know how many calories are in a potato!!!!!! I don't know what to do. I push my food around and eat less than half, it doesn't matter, he notices more often than not and I don't want to have a mental breakdown because he wants something heavy or creamy for dinner. I always pile on the veggies and he loves when we try vegan and vegetarian recipes but he's a normal human who sometimes wants a burger or chili or like steak and potatoes. I can't. I cannot deal with this.

So, I guess I'm asking other people on here who are primary cooks in their house (partners, spouses, and parents I guess), what do you cook for dinner and how do you eat it? Like, do you make a main but you only have a salad? Do you just take a very small portion and hope they don't notice? What?! Do I just need to accept that sometimes we eat very little and sometimes he wants to order pizza? Any advice anyone can offer would be so helpful.

[Help] Can't get past LW?
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 14:39:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmov7/cant_get_past_lw/
---
My LW is the one I'm at now- 143 lbs. I find this WAY TOO HIGH, but I can't seem to get past it. Every time I've got to that weight in the past, I always go back up in a week or so. Help anyone?

[Help] So has anyone experienced halitosis?
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Wed Mar 30 14:32:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmnss/so_has_anyone_experienced_halitosis/
---
Or aka bad breath? One of my worst fears and biggest pet peeves is bad breat, my my mom said the other day my breath smelt really bad... which is weird because I take care of my mouth very well. She said ts called halitosis and it's because I'm on a "diet". So I Google it and apperently if you don't eat carbs you have a side effect which gives you horrible breath, no matter how much you brush or floss it's just what happens.

Now I have this huge fear of talking directly to people or having people get to close to my face. :/

I had no idea until it was pointed out to me. :/ does anyone have this issue?

[Rant/Rave] Bread isn't even GOOD.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 30 14:22:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmm9e/bread_isnt_even_good/
---
but i still crave it like no other. i could literally eat 3 loaves of just bread in one sitting. it'd just plain bread tho? like most people crave things with actual taste. also it's basically nothing nutrition wise but it is SO calorie dense it's insane. why can't i crave lettuce

[Discussion] Anyone from MySpace
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 13:52:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmhce/anyone_from_myspace/
---
Anybody part of the ED MySpace community from ~10 years ago? What was your username?

[Goal] I finally broke 90!
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 13:31:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmdt0/i_finally_broke_90/
---
http://i.imgur.com/pArEwPD.jpg?1

[Rant/Rave] My step-sister is SO NEGATIVE about my weight loss I need to rant
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 13:12:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cmahp/my_stepsister_is_so_negative_about_my_weight_loss/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] So I got my test results back...
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5| 109 | 20.24 | -23lb | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 13:06:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cm9jw/so_i_got_my_test_results_back/
---
I'm only mildly anemic!! Everything else (electrolyte, glucose, celiacs) was fine! Unfortunately, the doctor was chastising me for losing three pounds in a week. I tried to explain to her that I had eaten before being weighed last time and I didn't this time (not a total lie, but also doesn't count for heavy restriction the entire week and fasting at least two of the days). She told me that my regular meals weren't enough and that I needed to come back in a few weeks to make sure I haven't lost any more weight which lol I am totally going to do so I'm gonna try not to go back.

This really freaked me out so of course at lunch I ate a cup of spinach, a possibly more than a cup of raw broccoli, 1/2 cup half strawberry/half plain nonfat greek yogurt with a little flax seed, and possibly a cup of roasted edamame. I keep looking at my measuring cups to try and determine how much I ate (this was at the dining hall so I couldn't measure) and thinking the worst. This is the most I've eaten in one sitting in weeks and my stomach was so bloated I thought I was going to vomit. I'm definitely not eating the rest of the day and maybe not tomorrow too...

I updated my flair because I'm so stoked to be under 110, even though I was weighed with water/tea in my system AND my shoes were on!! I think I will be able to weigh myself this weekend when I go home so I can get my true weight.

[Rant/Rave] TIL painting is difficult!
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 12:57:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cm83p/til_painting_is_difficult/
---
First off I'm on mobile, so no flair, sorry.
Finally have some time to myself, since the bf is gone from yesterday afternoon to Friday night. I'm painting my bedroom a dark blue green called Tahitian Dream, turning into my Tahitian nightmare! Who knew painting walls was hard to do evenly? I'm so out of shape it hurts to hold my roller up and down for too long, especially painting the ceiling. At least I've realized that since I really started back on the ED train on March 3, I've gone from 162 to 155.5, not too shabby considering I've had some off days. When I hit 155 for at least 2 days in a row, I'm going to reward myself with building my first jarrarium with a Marimo ball (super cute algae ball). Also since I stopped working 7 days a week I don't go out to eat anymore and all one of my cats wand to do is hug me all day. It's nice being loved by my little orange ball of happiness! Just wanted to rant.

[Tip] Favorite savory/honestly-it's-just-salty meal
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 12:39:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cm4wp/favorite_savoryhonestlyitsjustsalty_meal/
---
http://imgur.com/a/1ovNW

So it's a whole cucumber, because they're hella low calorie and all it is is pan fried in low calorie butter (50cal per tbspn) with as much salt as I feel like.

That bowl was 79 calories. 361g of cucumber and half a tbspn of butter. It will keep me full for a very very long time and I was able to get my salty craving taken care of

[Rant/Rave] I'm so proud of myself :)
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 12:24:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cm2bu/im_so_proud_of_myself/
---
Today has been absolutely fantastic! First, I had a miserable week last week of godawful binges, around 3. But today, after 2 very heavy days of restriction (800ish calories between the two days, with a TDEE of around 2100-2300), I weighed in at 136.2, which is my real LW (i consider 133 to be my fake low weight because it was like....one time)

So I started today off very happily. I restrict with an element of intermittent fasting as well. I try not to start eating because it's very very very very difficult for me to stop. My first amazing success of the day was saying no to my absolute favorite restaurant. My brain, being the rude ass that it is was like "great job on the 136....know what would complement that? your favorite meal". But instead of walking the two minutes to go there, I just kept walking farther and farther away/somewhat in circles (think around a few blocks). So not only did I say no, I also walked for an extra 15 minutes. It adds up.

My second success for today was, after making myself lunch (360g of cucumber cooked with .5 tbspn of low cal butter + 109g banana), I sat there and really, really really wanted to eat the food I had planned for 6 hours from now (aka what normal people call dinner). But I knew if I did that, I would be super super hungry then and would most likely go off plan and binge. I must have sat there staring at the bowl for 15 minutes, just fighting it out in my head before going into the other room to write this up.

My third success for the day will only happen once I go to bed. If I continue with this positivity and stay within my calorie goals, I will have made my first day after therapy without binging. What tends to happen is that I'll go to the therapist, convince her and myself that I'm a totally healthy, functioning adult, then I'll leave and want to live up to that, so I'll tell myself it's ok to have 1500 calories, which it totally is. The thing is that it ends up triggering a binge and the 1500 becomes 4000. I don't want to do that today. So I wont.

I just really wanted to share with you. The first two food related successes are completely new to me. They involve a mental fortitude that I previously hadn't seen in myself and I'm really proud of me :)

[Rant/Rave] Why it irritates me when people tell me I'm naturally skinny
/u/FredMist [5'9.5" | 112 lbs | 15.9 | -11 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 30 11:40:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4clutk/why_it_irritates_me_when_people_tell_me_im/
---
When people tell me I'm naturally skinny https://imgur.com/bIO6HT9

I used to think I was naturally skinny too. I used to overestimate what I ate and I thought I ate 2300~2800 a day because I had no idea what a cup of rice looked like or what 3oz of fish looked like.

After feeling thigh rub for the first time in my life when I was 33 I freaked out and got a food scale and some measuring cups and spoons. I realized I've always been skinny because I was very active and because I never ate more than I needed to calorie wise. I only gained weight in the last five years because I stopped exercising and diet changed.

I'm headed back toward a more muscular and leaner body. It didn't use to bother me when people told me I'm lucky because of my fast metabolism because I believed it too. It bothers me now because it took work to relearn how to eat correctly and not overeat.

[Tip] PSYLLIUM HUSK IS THE FUCKING SHIT!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 11:31:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4clt9v/psyllium_husk_is_the_fucking_shit/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Now THIS is a doughnut I wouldn't feel guilty eating!
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 113.8lbs | 17.05 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 10:19:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4clhha/now_this_is_a_doughnut_i_wouldnt_feel_guilty/
---
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154752427107814&id=646647813

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 30 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4clen0/daily_food_diary_march_30_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 30, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] I'm coffee/tea fasting today.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 08:30:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ckzxv/im_coffeetea_fasting_today/
---
On Monday I was 123.4. Yesterday I was 123.4. Today I'm 123.4!!!! UGH!!!

I wasn't going to fast because it's too difficult when I have classes, but one of my classes got cancelled today meaning I only have one. So my one class today is history of rock and roll, aka the easiest class ever, so I don't really have to use my brain or pay attention.

Gah. It stresses me out so much. I can see that I'm getting skinnier in the mirror, but the scale won't show me :( I'm so obsessed with numbers. Looking thinner isn't enough. I need to have data to back it up.

How have you guys overcome plateaus?

[Rant/Rave] Why do people think it's okay to push food on others!? And why is gluttony more acceptable than healthy eating?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 07:48:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cktsw/why_do_people_think_its_okay_to_push_food_on/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Progress pics. A bit more rib and thigh gap, but it's only been a couple days so nothing major.
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 07:45:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cktcn/progress_pics_a_bit_more_rib_and_thigh_gap_but/
---
https://imgur.com/a/5D2WY

[Rant/Rave] SO CLOSE
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 05:29:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ckcnw/so_close/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] Introduction - Hey
/u/l-ostcaus-e [5ft 6| Fattest of the Fats | F | GW 1: - 15lbs | UGW: 99lbs]
Created: Wed Mar 30 04:38:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ck7qe/introduction_hey/
---
I guess this is a good as time as any to introduce myself.

I'm mid 20s, from the UK, studying on a Masters course. I've struggled with disordered eating for years now but never really lost much weight from it because I yo-yo'd between binging and restricting so much. I moved back to uni at the start of the year and I have found that with the stress of it all the restricting has majorly increasing and now I'm working out a lot more too so hopefully I should start hitting goal weights soon. I'm not sure what else to say...?

[Thinspo] Cute outfits on small girls
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 04:34:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ck7ar/cute_outfits_on_small_girls/
---
http://imgur.com/a/j8Wug

[Rant/Rave] Cold :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 30 04:32:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ck731/cold/
---
How do you deal with being cold all the time?

Even in when I lived in Florida I felt like I was constantly freezing, buildings were always blasting the ac. Now here in Europe it's actually cold all the time, even when bundled up next to the radiator I'm still freezing. I'm ~40 hours into a fast, so maybe that's increasing the effect... But I'm sitting on a radiator right now wearing fleece tights under my pants, two sweaters and my coat and still feel like an ice sculpture.

[Help] How do you get over food wastage?
/u/mailmesnails [160cm | 50.6kg | 19.8 | -2.4kg | F]
Created: Wed Mar 30 03:58:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ck3wr/how_do_you_get_over_food_wastage/
---
I grew up being told to not waste food and I feel so bad when my plate isn't clean or if leftovers aren't eaten. That's obviously no good, but I can't get over the idea that wasting food is wrong. Right now, I have a whole pizza leftover from lunch :( :(

[Tip] Zero calorie sodas/seltzers
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Wed Mar 30 01:24:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjrax/zero_calorie_sodasseltzers/
---
Have you guys tried Sparkling Ice or flavored Perrier? I am not really a soda drinker but sometimes I want something other than water or coffee and I tried some of the sparkling ice sodas and a few of them are really good! No calories and really sweet! And the Perrier flavors are not sweet at all but still give that bubbly sensation that I want at times. Just thought I'd share with y'all :) stay free lovelies!

[Rant/Rave] Food poisoning
/u/thininsp
Created: Wed Mar 30 01:10:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjq7w/food_poisoning/
---
So I have food poisoning. I had fasted yesterday and most of today. Around 12:30 I ate a few fries my kid had left over and felt like an asshole. I decided to just go ahead and eat something real. I had lettuce with a scoop of cottage cheese on it. I thought the cottage cheese looked funny but I was still upset about the fries and preoccupied. Fast forward about 5 hours. I start getting nauseous and wind up with vomiting and diarrhea and a massive headache and full body chills. I threw up all of the lettuce and cottage cheese which you would think after 5+ hours wouldn't be in my stomach any more. It's 3am and I just finished another round in the bathroom. I have to be on the toilet with a bucket in front of me. I can't even keep water down.

How fucked up is it that all I can think of is "I wonder how much weight I'm losing"...

My husband threw out the cottage cheese and said it was all weird and yellow, so definitely bad. I hope I feel better and can get some sleep.

[Discussion] Hiding weight loss
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 30 00:24:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjm30/hiding_weight_loss/
---
My main challenge in getting back to my goal is my family. They know about my ED because I was hospitalized and if I start losing weigh they'll force me back.

What do you do to hide the loss?

[Rant/Rave] Fuck my miserable failure of a life.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Mar 29 22:48:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjcdh/fuck_my_miserable_failure_of_a_life/
---
It is a sign of health to be in good shape or to be thin. I have failed myself at this. I keep compulsively binging and can't keep myself from it. It has driven my weight up a lot in the past few months and i can barely go a day or two without binging. It is so difficult. Even restricting to a reasonable amount like below 1000 or at 1000 is difficult i just can't do it.

I dream of what it will be like to have control because I just don't have it. I feel like i am slowing killing myself and i want to just be out of my miserable. All of the damage i have done to my body can't be undone as quickly as i caused it. It will take months maybe even the rest of the year to get back to 160 or below and i just feel inpatient.

Honest i don't even know if my posts get read on here. I am just talking in the wind. If i killed myself no one would notice besides maybe my family who would find my unconscious body lying there. I don't know how i continue. I don't know how i keep doing this to myself. I was almost to a full day of a fasting and then it happened i went up stairs to have a snack that turned into a binge. I fucking binged. (pardon the language) I have no control and i hate it. I want to feel in control of my own body but i feel controlled by food. Therapy and outpatient isn't helping.

They are trying to mend a relationship that is broken between food and i don't want a relationship with food. I want to be bigger than food and have the power and strength to say no to too much. I want to feel like i am in control of myself and not being controlled by my thoughts of compulsions to eat too much.

I will pick up the pieces of my fractured attempted and try again as i always do. three days. three days without and then i will restrict for two days then go another three to four days then restrict again. I am trying to figure out what i can eat and be within a good range and not binge. I don't know how else to keep myself in control then to think and to keep my body at bay. My body is my enemy.

[Rant/Rave] Lower belly fat is the bane of my existence
/u/fiddlyduck [5'0 | 95 | 19.54 | -30.5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 22:47:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cjc9v/lower_belly_fat_is_the_bane_of_my_existence/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] i hate myself so much
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 22:11:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cj89w/i_hate_myself_so_much/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Summer Wine
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 21:08:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cj02d/summer_wine/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Lololol I just realized you can't spell hate without
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 20:40:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ciw9e/lololol_i_just_realized_you_cant_spell_hate/
---
ate.


Some dark humor for ya.

Also, incase anyone was wondering about that Ben and Jerry's binge post...I ate it. And then binged the whole next day (yesterday) but today I'M BACK AT IT. Restricted, ate nutritionally dense foods, attended kickboxing, and went to the gym.

Binge phases are ALWAYS breakable, don't give up <3

[Rant/Rave] Semi fasting day one day. Not perfect, but done.
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 20:12:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cis8u/semi_fasting_day_one_day_not_perfect_but_done/
---
* Breakfast: coffee (15 calories)
HWC (75 calories)
total: 90 calories

* Dinner: wine: 513 calories
total: 513
* Snack: pepperoni: (140)
whipped cream cheese: (50 calories)
total: 190

* Total: 793

I also ran just over 4 miles today so I probably netted about: 316.

I unexpectedly hung out with my (5 ft even; well over 250 pound) SIL today. Totally messed up my plans. Could have been way worse though.

Edit: Forgot formatting was a thing. Remember those 500+ calories of wine?

[Discussion] Starting a 10 day water fast tomorrow. What is the longest you have gone without food?
/u/candywife_ [66in | 115 | 18.6 | -18 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 20:07:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cirih/starting_a_10_day_water_fast_tomorrow_what_is_the/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cirih/starting_a_10_day_water_fast_tomorrow_what_is_the/

[Rant/Rave] Where do i go from here?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Mar 29 20:07:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ciri3/where_do_i_go_from_here/
---
I tried fast last week and it ended with a binge. I am fasting again hoping to lose a couple pounds and allow my stomach to shrink a little so i might eat less. I was in Portland over the weekend and besides eating too much and writing it off because "i was on vacation" i redicovered my love for vegan food. I ate a lot of delicious vegan food and it inspired me to try veganism again.

my plan from here is to try and be vegan for at least the next month (from april to may) and to restrict and fast in an alternating pattern. I am doing my research and trying to prep myself for when i do need to eat. It will be on weekends and maybe some times during the week i will try and restrict to under 1000 calories. I am compiling a list of safe vegan foods like fruits and raw veggies and also stuff i can buy that is preportions or tougher to binge on. I feel ready to take more control of myself and my weight. I have been so out of control and only suffered because i can't get a grip.

I have binged myself up to 190lbs now i was 160 just a month or so ago so i feel like i failed myself but i am convinced with some hard work and discipline I can reclaim my body and get back to where i was. I want to be in control. I want to be proud of my body. I want to feel pretty and attractive so i can go back worrying about other things in my life like school and work but things have been so out of control. My school schedule for the next quarter will have me out of the house around dinner time so i can skip a couple meals here and there and go to the gym but i just really want all of this weight gone. I feel inpatient and like my life is on hold until i can drop some of this weight. I only have a small fraction of clothes that fit right now and it is really bumming me out. I am convinced i can be vegan at least for the next month and try and rationalize myself out of eating things i shouldn't If they aren't vegan I shouldn't eat them and if they are higher calorie i should probably avoid them too.

My therapist is switching to private practice so I won't be going to therapy for a few weeks and my girlfriend wants to eat healthier so maybe I can lose this weight. Maybe i can be in control for once. I just want to get back to where I was and i want my clothes to fit again. I lost a lot of weight when i fasted before so maybe lightning will strike twice and i will get lucky. I just want the weight gone. It is all I want right now.

[Rant/Rave] Thoughts after a B/P.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 18:31:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cidra/thoughts_after_a_bp/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] Made an alt-account just to hang out here
/u/kye4ana [5'5" | cw 127.4 | bmi 21.2 | -5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 17:47:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ci7eb/made_an_altaccount_just_to_hang_out_here/
---
Hi, I'm Kye.

I'm 21, graduating my senior year of college this June, and I have disordered eating disorder. It's relatively recent, starting as a coping mechanism after I was raped about 7 months ago. I go through phases of intense binging, followed by near-starvation and over workout. Just recently, I got a notebook to document my diet and exercise, with recent trends tending towards eating less than 800cal a day, most usually between 400-500.

I'm 5'5", 129lbs, and I love my body. I really do, I think I look good. But with the lack of control in my life, especially in dealing with taking my case to court (who knew the American Justice system cared so little for victims of sexual abuse?!) controlling my food intake, exercising my control over my cravings, and pushing my body to the brink have become my sole means of solace.

I don't know what I'm doing, but then again, nobody really does.

[Help] Maintaining and feeling weird about it (vent)
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 17:31:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ci52u/maintaining_and_feeling_weird_about_it_vent/
---
Over the past 2 weeks I've raised my intake because I'm pretty close to hitting a BMI in the 15s and I feel a little freaked out about that. I normally eat at 800 and lose about a pound a week, but for the past 2 weeks I ate at 1000 and 1100, respectively. I've justified it to myself by telling myself that my skin will get saggy if I lose more weight too quickly, that I need more potassium in my diet or I'm going to develop heart problems, and that if I lose too much weight too quickly my family and therapist will just force me to gain it back.

But I feel so guilty. Every time I step on the scale and the number is the same (90.6), I want to cry. My pants feel tighter. The more I eat, the more I want to eat. And ironically, the closer I get to maintenance the more restricted I feel, because I don't have that extra 500 calories of wiggle room any more; it's not that I'm choosing to stop eating at the end of the night because I want to, I actually have to stop eating or else I'll gain weight. I hate it. And I'm still not low enough to start exercising, because I know that if I start exercising I'll gain some weight and I couldn't stand to be above 91.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm at an impasse.

[Goal] Starting a 72 hour fast
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 129.0 | 20.13 | -41 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 16:53:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chzec/starting_a_72_hour_fast/
---
I had guests from out of town come stay with my from last Friday to today (Tuesday), and I have more people coming in to town again this Friday to next Tuesday as well.

I ate so much more food and drank so much alcohol.

This time it should be easier since I wonā€™t be drinking.

But I gained a pound. I was 133.8 now I'm 135. Not as bad as I was expecting. I only ate half of my meals, was able to keep it to two meals a day, and was careful with not drinking too much (sorta).

But gaining a pound versus the week before losing over a pound a day (probably some water weight, makes me happy regardless)ā€¦bleh

Iā€™m drinking water and tea and thatā€™s it until Friday dinner. Then I'll do the eat half of whatever is on my plate or less...it's going to be harder since the person staying with me knows about my history with ED...

[Rant/Rave] No more (rant)
/u/elliebearrrr
Created: Tue Mar 29 16:35:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chwxu/no_more_rant/
---
I am such a fat pig. BED has reared its ugly head once more, and for the past 10 days I've gone way over even my maintenance calories every. single. day. Actually, I can't even blame my ED anymore, I feel like I've become this monster who just can't stop shovelling food in purely for the sake of it. I've gone from 162 to 175lbs in that time, I'm trying to tell myself some of it will be water retention from all the sodium and shit I've been eating recently, as well as premenstrual bloating, but the fact remains that I've put on nearly a whole stone in just over a week :( all that hard work undone, I feel like such a failure. I suppose one good thing is that I haven't purged once in that time, but that also means I haven't had that lovely empty feeling in a while either. sorry this was rambling and negative but I needed to post here so l feel like I have to live up to my word when I say this: no more. I will start tomorrow eating 500cals a day as my absolute limit, but aiming for below 300.

Wish me luck.... :(

[Discussion] Obsessed with food?
/u/crapbeg
Created: Tue Mar 29 16:02:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chru9/obsessed_with_food/
---
Does anyone else find that they're obsessed with food? Like I love cooking, reading recipes (healthy or not) and spend a good 80% of the time I spend on the internet just looking up stuff to do with food. Sometimes I cook stuff for the hell of it, not because I want to eat it (and end up binging anyway). Does anyone else have this?

[Rant/Rave] Sriracha cashews!! Only 100 cals per pack, low in sodium, super filling, delicious!
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 141 lbs | -10 | GW 115 | 22.76 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 15:31:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chmxr/sriracha_cashews_only_100_cals_per_pack_low_in/
---
Oh my god, I just got these cashews and they blew my goddamn mind. Like I hate nuts y'all, I hate them so much, but these...these!!!! Oh my god. Perfect for when you feel like binging because you get a spicy/savory taste, and the cashews themselves are way filling. So if you suck at restricting and are trying to stop purging (like me!), this is a great place to start. So because they're so filling, it stops you from reaching for more like with chips or crackers or any salty snack.


The brand is Emerald and I believe I got them at Safeway. But these are delicious and low cal and literally saved my ass (from getting fat). I just had to rave because these literally saved me from binging breakdowns this week. I hope this helps someone else out there. Love y'all.

[Help] How to prevent fainting and suspicion?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 15:24:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chlqx/how_to_prevent_fainting_and_suspicion/
---
I stupidly told my therapist more about my restriction, binging, laxative use, and most recently EC stacking.

He's willing to not tell his boss because he's happy I was so open with him, but he said he's concerned I'm going to faint and when I do it's out of his hands and I could be kicked out of school.

How do I make sure this does not happen?

And also how to cover up weight loss? Does wearing baggy clothes help? I don't want any suspicions to be raised.

[Rant/Rave] IT FITS!!
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" l 132.1 | 26.07 l -16.9 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 15:00:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chhtp/it_fits/
---
Guys, I bought this dress two Octobers ago while it was too small, hoping I would lose enough to weight to fit into it. I have an event next Friday and today I tried it on, not really thinking it would fit. Well guess what?! I zipped it all the way up for the first time ever!! Granted, it's still tight so it doesn't look that good yet, but I'm hoping to be 6 pounds slimmer by the time I have to wear it, which I know I can accomplish if I work hard enough! What an extra motivating boost, knowing it already fits and now I just need to work a little harder to make it look better! I've been losing and gaining the same 10 pounds for the last couple months, and it finally feels like I'm starting to make progress again. Thanks for reading, I just wanted to share my excitement with someone who would understand :)

[Rant/Rave] Silver Linings
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 14:43:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4chf1u/silver_linings/
---
Another date cancelled. That's the 4th in a week (4 different guys, one no-show, 3 cancelations). Fuck dating. Fuck trying. Fuck putting yourself out there. Fuck it.

Silver lining? I won't have to eat dinner out today. So there's that. I can totally be under my calories goal for the day. Yay...

[Help] I hate getting sick
/u/lifetc
Created: Tue Mar 29 14:09:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ch9ag/i_hate_getting_sick/
---
I'd been having a couple of really on-game days lately, and added a killer workout at the gym this morning to everything. I worked until my throat was sore, and a few hours later I'm burning up, feeling way sick, and just like I don't know what to do now. I've got a hangup about being afraid of not eating enough drilled in by my psycho Mom, really would love to hear, say, if you guys find that fasting gets easier when you're sick, that being sick can be turned into progress, etc?
I'm going to be fine if I don't eat with a flu right? Eurgh. Life.

[Rant/Rave] So I felt bad after yesterday
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Mar 29 14:05:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ch8lq/so_i_felt_bad_after_yesterday/
---
Ate 123 cals, burned about 2300. I'm feeling really proud, hopefully the scale says the same tomorrow :)

[Discussion] I went to starbucks to treat myslef and...
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Tue Mar 29 12:43:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgupq/i_went_to_starbucks_to_treat_myslef_and/
---
...drank 550 calories. Wtf caramelized honey frappuccino.

This is how I got fat.

What single item is a days worth of calories that you can't say no to?

Disclaimer : my daily is 850cal, so I still have space but that was a huge hit.

[Discussion] Rebooting after Easter weekend...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 12:26:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgrm6/rebooting_after_easter_weekend/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] My family is finally starting to notice, but I really wish they didn't
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 11:41:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgjup/my_family_is_finally_starting_to_notice_but_i/
---
I visited my parents this weekend. I was really stressed out because I knew I had to eat more than I normally do, and I really did do my best because I didn't want my parents to worry. But it didn't work, they complained that I ate too little. Kind of makes me think that damn I ate a LOT last fall.

And today they both contacted me, dad e-mailed and mom called. They both said the same thing: that I'm too thin, "bones are sticking out" and it worries them how little I eat. I tried to calm them down, I reminded them I was in treatment for one thing.

Now I feel bad in many ways. I feel really guilty, making them worry about me once again. But at the same time I feel sort of...good, that someone finally noticed. Proud, even. And THAT makes me me feel like I'm a bad person.

And I really don't want to stop yet. I haven't lost any weight in three weeks because I've been binging and purging so much, but I plan to change it. I really want to get to 95, and even lower. That means I have to be more careful around my family from now on.

I just needed to get this out, there's no other point in this post. Thank you if you read this.

[Goal] rewarding myself with colourpop lipsticks
/u/childshair [5'7 | 107.2 lbs | 16.73 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 11:22:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cggkf/rewarding_myself_with_colourpop_lipsticks/
---
If I stay under 800 calories a day for a week and lose a pound and stay at 106 for a week then I'll treat myself to two ColourPop lipsticks! One lipstick for staying under my calorie limit and one for losing and maintaining that lost weight!


They have such pretty shades and I love their ultra matte colors!
plus they're cheap as hell *heart eyes emoji*


edit: btw I am in no way affiliated with the company, they're just super cheap lipsticks that I found online because I'm too poor to get the Kylie Lip Kit lol

[Rant/Rave] This is the first time in 9 months that I've been the same weight for two days in a row.
/u/OrchidandthePearl [5'7 | 106 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 11:16:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgfij/this_is_the_first_time_in_9_months_that_ive_been/
---
And I'm okay with that. I feel like that's kind of a milestone in and of itself.

[Tip] Sodium: Don't Panic!
/u/sorry_ari
Created: Tue Mar 29 11:02:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cgcze/sodium_dont_panic/
---
It can take 48-72 hours for a ton of sodium to leave the body. If you want to make it (and the water it's holding into) leave the body faster, look up diuretic foods and beverages. These will promote peeing. But most of all, DON'T PANIC! You can be holding on to water for days and days depending on what you eat, but as long as you're still at a deficit, you will drop that water when the sodium leaves.

I have actually been doing very well and eating at a healthy deficit recently. And I'm about to travel this week and eat some delicious food in LA. This will mean a LOT of sodium, but I can still be diligent and eat at maintenance or just below, and now I know that even if I'm up a few pounds on the scale when I get back, the math doesn't lie.

Most of my ED thinking is mental and anxiety-based, my brain getting fucked up for no other reason than a number. Disordered thinking for me is very much about a mind-body disconnect. But the more information I have the less it messes with that anxiety, the more empowered I can be, and the more I can stick to my goals. I just wanted to share.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 29 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cg2y5/daily_food_diary_march_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] My fucking life right now
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Mar 29 09:21:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfvzj/my_fucking_life_right_now/
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https://imgflip.com/i/11lxft

[Discussion] Excellent post from r/fatlogic
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 09:18:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfvk8/excellent_post_from_rfatlogic/
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[OP secretly tracks the respective diets of her two roommates](https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/comments/4ces2s/brace_yourselves_everyone_ive_made_my_own/)

[Help] Any way to break a plateau without eating more?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 09:05:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cftfa/any_way_to_break_a_plateau_without_eating_more/
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Hiya. I've been consistently restricting since the 21st, eating about 300-550 calories per day. This morning, my weight is exactly the same as it was yesterday morning. Obviously, that's not a very long plateau (maybe you can't even call it a plateau) but it's frustrating and I'd like to see the scale go down tomorrow morning.

In the past, eating maintenance calories (or even like 500 more than I'm used to) has helped break a plateau but I'm absolutely terrified of eating over 500 a day. I know fasting helps but I can't fast today because I'm in school for 7 hours and there's no way fasting will work for me.

Any ideas?

[Rant/Rave] Frustrated by comments about my weight
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:53:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfrfy/frustrated_by_comments_about_my_weight/
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I know people just don't realize how their comments affect me, but I wish there was a way I could tell them to stop without making it seem like I have a problem.

One of my best friends always tells me I'm looking skinny like every time I see her. She says it as a compliment, but it really bothers me because I don't need people to encourage this behavior. I also don't want people looking at my body.

I have another friend who hadn't seen me in awhile tell me that I look good, but that I shouldn't lose more weight. It makes me feel really self conscious about my body and habits and just makes everything worse.

None of these comments would be appropriate I were gaining weight. You wouldn't tell someone that they're looking fat today, or that they should really stop gaining weight, or that styles of clothes only look good on them because they're fat. It's like if you're normal/underweight people have free reign to comment on your body and food choices.

But I don't know how to tell them to stop. I feel like even a, hey, I would appreciate if you would stop commenting on my weight and body, screams that something is wrong with me. Because it would make anyone else feel good to hear that their hard work is paying off, right?

I don't know. Seeing it all written out makes me feel crazy and way over sensitive.

[Rant/Rave] Just one goal this week...no buffets. I'm hoping shame will keep me in line
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:48:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfqmv/just_one_goal_this_weekno_buffets_im_hoping_shame/
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Okay, I just have one goal this week. I hate admitting it, but I often binge at buffets. I'm ashamed to admit that, but I have to. I rotate my buffet places--Golden Corral, these two Chinese places, and KFC. Gross, I know.


My only goal this week is to not binge at buffets. I can do it at home, in my car, whatever...but I know that I always consume fewer calories when I have less variety to deal with during binges.


My weight is up again after hitting a new low for the year, and I will never reach my goal weights if I keep binging at buffets. I should stop b/p altogether, but this seems like a manageable goal.


One, it's gross. I consume so much. Two, it makes me so awkward socially...I hate human contact when I'm binging and when I'm at places when they ask me how I'm doing or refill my drinks (I can drink up to like 6-7 glasses of diet coke--with ice, hah), I am probably rude :( . Three, I NEED to set a limit on how much I'm spending on binge food. I am really horrible...I can go to a buffet, and then stop by the gas station afterward for a few more items. This needs to stop.

To make the whole binge goal more manageable, I'm going to just make this one promise...I don't have to stop b/p completely, I just need to stop going to buffets like a monster.


Thanks for letting me rant.

[Help] Mood swings with EC stack
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:47:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfqkv/mood_swings_with_ec_stack/
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My husband sat me down this morning and said he's really worried about me because I've been different for the past few months. He said it's like living with 2 different people. Sometimes I'm fine, and other times I'm anxious and cranky and mean. He's right. I know he is. The worst part is it effects me as a mother. Maybe it's just the restricting, but I've heard that the EC stack can cause mood issues, so I was just wondering if any of you have experienced this. I'm thinking of weening off for a while, but I'm terrified I'll gain weight. I don't know what to do. I've been crying because I feel like such an asshole.

[Rant/Rave] Adios dairy, red meat and pork...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:11:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfkyz/adios_dairy_red_meat_and_pork/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] 3-defy binge and up six pounds
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:09:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfkow/3defy_binge_and_up_six_pounds/
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Every pound is a struggle and everyday I'm losing ground. I know it's mostly water weight, I ate a lot of salty takeout. I'm fasting today and this post is just for accountability.

But I'm curious, what's the most you've gained from a binge and how long did it take you to lose it? I want to down four pounds by Thursday

*ANNNND I JUST ATE 4 BAGELS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME


[Rant/Rave] Rant
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Tue Mar 29 08:08:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfkix/rant/
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My boyfriend for a year and a half wants to break up with me, we've been friends forever. He knows everything about me. He's literally my only friend. I don't know what to do. He isn't breaking up but he keeps saying that he wants to but he doesn't want to hurt me. I had panic attacks so bad last night that they turned into seizers from so much stress. He's everything to me and I love him so much.
If I never post again it's probably because he broke up and I killed myself.

Edit: My forehead is all bruised up because I kept hitting it so hard out of anger towards myself. At least I'm not cutting anymore.

[Goal] Day 1 of EC stacking
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 07:43:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfh03/day_1_of_ec_stacking/
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I don't know how many people will need this. I just thought I'd log my experience in case someone out there was nervous and hasn't seen one before. Also because it's helpful to me to keep on track... I'm really sorry if this isn't helpful or not allowed on the subbreddit, I'll delete it immediately if that's the case

Yesterday : I went out and bought a 60 capsule box of bronkaid at 25mg ephedrine as well as 80 caffeine tablets at 200mg a pill.

Today:

9:30AM : Woke up at 9:00AM with a headache. I assume from dehydration, so I downed about 200 mL of water before taking my EC stack (25 mg E, 200mg C) at 9:20. After taking I consumed another 300mL of water.

Fluids: 500mL...Calories: 0

I plan on assessing how I feel at about 2PM before deciding whether or not to take another dose. I'll update when it kicks in, and then either a few hours after or at the end of the day. I'm also logging fluid intake because both Ephedrine and caffeine are diuretics and any adverse side effects I may or may not experience could have to do with a low fluid intake.

10:00AM : I'm pretty sure it's working. My hands are beginning to shake. Whether it's because I was anticipating the jitters and this is a placebo or because it's actually kicked in I don't really know. But either way I feel pretty amazing right now and my headache is gone. I feel mostly thirsty. Absolutely not hungry at all. Which is weird because I usually am hungry before now.

Fluid: 700mL...Calories: 0

12:40PM : The jitters have subsided for the most part. I ate a little bit of cereal at around 11:15AM or so. Not because I was hungry, but rather to see if this is truly supressing my apetite. In my experience, eating makes my apetite increase, so it's harder to resist food if I've eaten rather than if I've just gone without for the whole day. The cereal hasn't spurred on any desire to eat more food, which means that the stack is probably working. I'm pleased with this so far. I may take another dose in an hour, but I'll have to see how I feel then.

Fluids: 1100mL...Calories: 190

2:00PM : I'm still contemplating taking another dose. I've been having small twangs of what I believe may be hunger (?)... it's possible I'm just thirsty though because they very quickly disappear. By this I mean I get hungry for maybe 1 minute and then it goes away. So I'm thinking about just drinking water and seeing how tonight goes without the second dose.

Fluids: 1600mL...Calories: 190

2:40PM : Decided to go ahead with the second dose, because why the fuck not. I'm scared of binging at night so... just a preemptive measure. Hopefully it won't mess with my sleeping too much.

Also my anxiety is like... massive I always get really anxious before therapy and it feels a lot worse today. Bleh, still worth it.

Fluids: 2000mL...Calories: 190

4:30PM : Still no hunger. My friend bought me a muffin from Einstein's to cheer me up post-therapy. I'm making her split it with me because I'm not even in the mood to eat, but it's rude to refuse... sucks.

Also side note: Do not tell a therapist about EC stack.

Another side note: the muffin... I am never able to resist carbs but it is taking me so long to finish this. This EC stack is actually amazing.

Fluids: 2100mL....Calories: 455

10:00PM : Final update. At the moment I feel a little hungry, but certainly not like normal where I would binge. It's easier to ignore, and passes very quickly. I haven't really had any major side effects besides the anxiousness before my therapy session and being more jittery and fidgety than normal. I feel that if I had gone for a run I would have been better off for the jittery-ness. Thanks for reading!

Fluids:2500mL...Calories: 455

[Discussion] Fasting Buddies.... how's Day 2 going?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 29 07:22:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cfe10/fasting_buddies_hows_day_2_going/
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[removed]

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A March 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 29 06:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cf456/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_march_29_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] Huge binge day. So mad at myself.
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Tue Mar 29 04:33:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cevet/huge_binge_day_so_mad_at_myself/
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I'm so mad at myself and disgusted with myself. I've done really *well* the past week, by my standards anyway. And I just feel like I messed it all up. I ate over 4000kcal today and purged 3 times and I feel like such a failure... :'( Nothing really interesting to say: I just had to get it out and vent to people who might understand.

[Discussion] My friend use to go on this subreddit, and she took her life
/u/AngelaKR7
Created: Tue Mar 29 01:53:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cei5y/my_friend_use_to_go_on_this_subreddit_and_she/
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I hope the moderators do not remove this post. I don't use Reddit, and I've made an account to write this message, but I understand if this is not something that users of this forum want to see.

I don't pretend to know what you all go through nor do I pretend to know this forum. Eating disorders are foreign concepts to me. But I did know my friend, and I did know that she had frequented this subreddit in the months before her death.

She went by the username hamfattie. It is odd that her account is recent, so I believe she most had used other accounts since I recall seeing the banner of this subreddit on her phone long before the account creation time.

She hinted at this subreddit often. She didn't say Reddit, but she said that she had found an eating disorder support site. I knew about her eating disorder, bulimia. She hadn't want me to know but told me one night when we were both drunk.

I don't know why I am writing this. I'm not sure if anyone here wondered where she went, so I suppose I felt I should mention it in case she had any friends here, so that they wouldn't think she just lost interest and disappeared.

I don't know what else to say. There are a lot of criticisms and hateful things I want to say about this subreddit because I knew at times, it hurt her so much, but I can't figure out how to say it, and I don't think it'd be worthwhile.

I don't know what to say to any of you either. Maybe things I wish I told her, but I told her everything I could have told her, and I could have always done better, but we all know it's pointless to think about that.

I've looked at this subreddit for a few weeks now. I guess I just want to say to everyone who feels and acts like his/her feelings aren't valid because you're "too big", or you don't get a lot of likes on the "Selfie thread", or your stats are not as impressively small for anyone to care, please don't think that what you feel isn't real or isn't warranted. And likewise, don't think that someone posting isn't as sick or something because their stats are high. You don't know how close to death they emotionally are. Don't dismiss people base on their body stats or their picture. It's easy in this subreddit to see people as numbers.

I didn't see my friend as a number. I saw her for her brilliance and her sense of humor. She loved music and loved computers. Bulimia took that away from her first, and then took her away from us.

You all matter to someone the way she mattered to me. Your friends might not post some message on Reddit, but they love you as I loved her. Please be there for each other. Nothing I say can heal any of you, but please care about each other and value each other for the people you are and not for the stats you post in your flairs.

Thank you for reading. I wish you all a long and good life.

[Goal] Joining the no booze crew :)
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 29 00:19:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ce9u6/joining_the_no_booze_crew/
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I've seen a few posts on here from people who want to cut back on their drinking and have set goals for themselves. I know I use alcohol as a crutch for anxiety and boredom.

But not this weekend. I've told my friends I'm not drinking (albeit I have no one to physically hold me accountable for 1700km). And you're my friends, so I'm telling you I won't drink this weekend. I'm planning to go for a drive to a national park 4 hours away, and stay the night without access to anything apart from water and tea.

How has everyone else been doing with their no drink goals?

[Rant/Rave] self control
/u/childshair [5'7 | 107.2 lbs | 16.73 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 22:43:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdzpx/self_control/
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I stopped restricting for a little over a year now and I've been focused on healthy foods. I gained a little at the beginning, but now I've maintained at my average weight while I was restricting.

I desperately want to get to 100 lbs and even down to 90 but I just don't know how to get back on track. I suck at counting calories on MFP now and I just need to get back into the habit of doing so

I just want to be thin and I'm so upset that it's not something that can happen overnight. I just need motivation and a slap in the face to get started again!

I also have terrible self control with eating half plates, I was raised to finish everything on my plate and I can't get out of that habit. I'm also so tempted to grab a snack right now but instead I'll be on here trying to distract myself u_u

[Rant/Rave] Holidays are the absolute worst.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 22:40:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdzeq/holidays_are_the_absolute_worst/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Declaring war on bread
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 21:22:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdpv2/declaring_war_on_bread/
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That's all I eat these days, I'm becoming repulsed by most foods, and I'm becoming lazy when it comes to variation.

So I'm going to try and cut out the three foods I love most: bread, pasta and potatoes.
Of course I count calories, a slice of bread is 75 calories, but I seriously need to eat better. those calories add up, and they're just empty, you know? Bread isn't really nutritious at all. If I'm going to eat calories they may as well be healthy..

I'm going to the supermarket today and I'm going to try and stock up on some fruit and vegetables, I'm going to try becoming a little bit "raw" (vegan)- to eat more plain food, more berries and broccoli and cucumber because I don't want my health to deteriorate.

I hate you, bread :(

[Rant/Rave] So I'm semi fasting for the next 48 hours
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 21:16:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdp0c/so_im_semi_fasting_for_the_next_48_hours/
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I did so well on Easter. I ate about 600 calories. My in-laws are used to me not eating their food, so they provided me with spinach salad for Easter dinner. Perfect.

Then tonight I binged hard core and consumed about 3000 calories. The only silver lining is that several hundred calories were in booze so at least the scale won't look as bad as it should in the morning thanks to dehydration.

So basically it'll just be coffee in the morning and wine at night for the next two days. Grrrr

[Help] Personal update/advice needed
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 21:07:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdnv7/personal_updateadvice_needed/
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I started restricting last Monday (March 21) after not restricting for well over a year. I was on spring break last week so it was quite easy. I wasn't hungry nor did I have any cravings. I've lost 3.6 pounds since the 21st. I'm hoping by the end of this week I'll be 120.

Classes started back up today and I'm *absolutely ravenous*. I've had 424 calories today, which is good, but I'm hungry. I'll have tea soon after I post this to hold me over until I go to sleep. Tomorrow is my long day with 3 classes. I'm on campus from 10am to 3:45pm. I'll drink 2 cups of coffee before I leave and pack 2 cups of yogurt to have when I inevitably get hungry. I have some Adderall left from my old prescription. I'm debating whether or not I want to take some tomorrow.

My mom and her boyfriend will be visiting on April 6th until the 10th to watch me in my horse riding competition. I'm really worried about eating when they're here. They are planning on going out to eat every night (I live in Vegas, so naturally they want to try all the restaurants here). If I didn't have a horse riding competition, it would be easy to fast all day then just pick at lean meats and veggies while we're at a restaurant. But I can't exactly fast while I'm actively competing. So I'll either end up fasting and being weak/risk injuring myself or my horse, or just eating way more food than I'd ever imagine and being super depressed with the weight gain when they leave :/

Before I knew they'd be visiting, I was planning to just eat 500-600 calories in the morning before I compete and fast the rest of the day. But that's not feasible if we'll be going out to eat afterwards.

Any ideas as to how I can make their visit as painless as possible, food wise?

[Rant/Rave] I was a greasy fat tub o lard today
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 19:47:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cdcsh/i_was_a_greasy_fat_tub_o_lard_today/
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Following the drunken shenanigans at Easter that left me with a gnawing stomach this morning....i fucking ate a chimichanga! WHO THE FUCK. I worked my ass off as much as I could with a sick kid and desk job but definately didn't do shit worth to correct my fucked weekend and monday. But tmrw. No breakfast. No lunch and if i get hungry, it'll be a small meal. No snacks. Hopefully no booze. And I'll be at the gym again and I'll be taking a couple of nice walks. Fuck yes. I will be beautiful one day. Also trailer park boys is back! I'm in blissful sadness.

[Rant/Rave] Bright side of a binge?
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 19:28:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cd9xn/bright_side_of_a_binge/
---
Will flair when I'm off mobile

I'm writing this mid binge. My stomach is huge and bloated and rolling out over my pants. I'm upset with myself for having this little control, but on the bright side at the end of this binge I will have nothing in the house but safe foods. I don't have much left that isn't safe, but I already know it doesn't stand a chance tonight.

So as much as this binge sucks and I am being super fat and disappointing, tomorrow will be so much easier because I will not have anything around to set me off and I will not allow myself to rebuy!

Gonna go eat more now :(

[Discussion] Do you guys exercise?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 18:11:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccyyq/do_you_guys_exercise/
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If so, what do you do? What do you target?


I personally do jumping jacks, lunges, squats, and ballet kicks for the sole purpose of burning calories. I realize that as I get closer to my goal weight (105-110) I should begin doing ab exercises (current weight is ~130 lbs).



Emergency advice needed
/u/skinnyminilove [5'0" | 108 | 21.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 17:36:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccu17/emergency_advice_needed/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Those trouble spots
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 17:28:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccso4/those_trouble_spots/
---
(I saw this in a different sub earlier)

But whenever I think of my trouble spots and what needs to go, I think of Arnie's catchphrase

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/4c/82/dc/4c82dcb635e534d37c2e8983b1be4255.jpg

Now I'm not building muscle but I think it applies too!

[Rant/Rave] I don't know who will read this, this doesn't have to do with an eating disorder or anything else.
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 17:17:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccr6a/i_dont_know_who_will_read_this_this_doesnt_have/
---
I'm sure this is against the rules of the subreddit, but I genuinely have no one else to talk to in my life other than this random corner of the Internet. I'm not even friends with anyone here or talk to anyone here regularly. I just have nothing.

My life is very mundane and pointless at the moment. I think my saying "at the moment" implies hope. I hope very much this isn't what it'll always be, but I also feel this terrible dread that I'm wrong. I'm 19. Today I thought about my 53rd birthday for no reason at all, and I laid down in my bed in the middle of the day to sleep so I couldn't feel afraid anymore. I had 600mg of caffeine and a Primatene tablet about an hour before and I still slept like a stone.

I feel dumb and shallow and I don't think my life is worth very much. I don't have a lot of original thoughts and I'm not beautiful or smart.

I have two friends, but they are very toxic. I can't make any other friends. It gives me anxiety, for one, and then no one wants to hang out with me anyway. I usually have nothing to say. My friends are relics from my childhood and it's comfortable but we don't have a lot in common and I need you to understand they genuinely don't like it when I succeed at things in life, and they express it to me.

I have a boyfriend who I love very deeply but I don't think he loves me. I hold him longer, look at him longer, and talk to him longer than him to me. This doesn't sound as terrible as it feels. It tears me up inside. We've been dating for almost a year and he has no idea about my depression or ED or past of abuse. I can't tell him. I want him to love me back and I don't want to let anything get in the way of that. This sounds crazy because it is. But to feel alone when you're with the person you love is hell on earth. I get knots in my stomach thinking about it.

I feel like I was created to love things very deeply and I used to think that was a positive aspect of myself. I'm very passionate. But it makes unrequited feelings cut through me. I have panic attacks about it alone in my room. Or I'll stare at my ceiling for 2 hours without realizing it, like, you know, normal people do.

I don't know what to do. I know you can't help. I don't know what I need or what I want. I just know today I'm feeling all of this weight very strongly and needed to get it out, and sometimes this terrible subreddit created by terrible people is the only place I feel like others understand what it's like to want to be loved so so desperately, but feel like the reason you aren't is because of who you naturally are, whether it's 200 pounds or gay or anxious. Okay okay that's all sorry

[Rant/Rave] I just dumped out 2 cups of rice that came with my thai eggplant basil
/u/apricaught
Created: Mon Mar 28 17:10:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccq5e/i_just_dumped_out_2_cups_of_rice_that_came_with/
---
I almost poured detergent on it to stop myself. It looked good. But I knew it was an empty 500 that just didn't need to be inside me. It helps that I'm sick with low appetite. Instead, I'm going to supplement the eggplant with something high in protein, and definitely not binge tonight.


This is the first time I've done anything this disordered and I'm not sure how to feel.

[Thinspo] Perhaps the best anti-Thinspo I've ever seen: Inside Fat People
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 16:35:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cckks/perhaps_the_best_antithinspo_ive_ever_seen_inside/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ij3k50-C28

[Help] Help...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 16:19:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cci2j/help/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Armpit Gap?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 16:01:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccf0e/armpit_gap/
---
I always hear and see everyone talking about thigh gaps, but I'm enamoured with getting a gap between my arm and ribs. Is there a proper name for this area? Is it possible to get that without being drastically underweight?

I have so much gross skin on my fucked up ugly upper arms that they'd probably look like someone wearing sleeves made from a Jabba the Hut skinsuit, but a girl can dream..... :/

[Help] Stressed over weekend trip
/u/weightliftingwaif [5'2.5" | 111.8lbs | 20.76| 2lbs]
Created: Mon Mar 28 15:54:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccdyb/stressed_over_weekend_trip/
---
I'm flying out friday with my husband for a mini-trip for his birthday. The plus sides are I get to be in my home state, we are going to a big event, and we plan on seeing my favorite aunt for a couple of hours. The downside is I have horrible panic attacks on planes and my doctor is booked solid for the next month. I ran out of anti-anxiety meds a couple of months ago, but I haven't needed them because I haven't been flying. I try not to use them for non-flight related panic attacks because they end up causing panic attacks with the slightest introduction of caffeine in my system, and that just can't happen. I ONLY wake up in the morning for coffee.

Part of me really really thinks I can handle this flight with dramamine and my crochet gear; that I might have a small attack but ultimately I want to go and it's always easier to restrict eating when I have a "healthy" (I'm so sick) amount of anxiety rolling through. Plus, the anti-anxiety meds I take make me want all the trail mix.

Help! I need encouragement.

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Don't put that in your mouth.
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 15:43:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ccc91/thinspo_dont_put_that_in_your_mouth/
---
http://imgur.com/a/gTGo8

[Help] Starting a fast tomorrow
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 14:47:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cc34c/starting_a_fast_tomorrow/
---
Easter hit me hard this year, so I'm going to fast for three days to sort of make up for any excess I've eaten. I already have a huge water bottle, as well as several flavors of tea, including a carrot curry savory tea (though it does have 5 calories per bag). I'll be at uni most of the day, so I'll leave my debit card and any cash behind, except for $3 for a coffee or tea.


I'm prone to fainting from hypoglycemia, should I invest in a little bag of hard candies if I feel I'm about to drop? Does anyone have any better ideas?


How do you distract yourself when you start getting hungry? I have two big programming projects, so I'll be working on them most of the time. Other than that, I can't think of anyway to distract myself besides studying.

[Discussion] What's your motivation? Mine? Swimsuits and naval piercings
/u/paradisedeparted [5'3" | 110 | 20.02 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 14:37:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cc1iz/whats_your_motivation_mine_swimsuits_and_naval/
---
Hey guys, I am really starting to try to lose weight so this summer I can actually feel confident for the first time. If I lose a fair amount of weight, I will get my belly button pierced at the end of April, but I'm kind of nervous. I want to be skinny otherwise I think my piercing will look trashy rather than sleek, hot, elegant and classy. This summer is motivation for me, I'd love to hear yours!

[Rant/Rave] Still afraid to weigh myself atm buuut (:
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Mon Mar 28 14:10:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbx1l/still_afraid_to_weigh_myself_atm_buuut/
---
I'm wearing a cross tank and my mom says you need to stop loosing weight you're back is all boney.

I dont see it whatsoever, i still look fat and flabby af to myself, but made me smile and totally just motivated me to fast another day. (:

Oh and last night I discovered I fit into my favorite super tiny white shorts I wore back 4 years ago when I was skinnyyy (: ahh.

Sorry I had to express my happiness.

Still afraid to weigh myself atm buuut (:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 28 14:00:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbv9y/still_afraid_to_weigh_myself_atm_buuut/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I don't understand why my body looks the way it does (i.e., super shitty).
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 13:51:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbtri/i_dont_understand_why_my_body_looks_the_way_it/
---
Just a rant. I just cannot understand why I look so goddamn enormous. I mean. I'm by no means underweight or even normal-people thin really but with my stats I'm more or less a petite person. I believe I have a fair amount of muscle (my shoulders are super wide and I'm starting to get that awful thigh knuckle thing...have to knock off doing so much HIIT) and it stands to reason that since muscle is so dense at my weight I should look *smaller* than I weigh if anything.

But I don't. I look much bulkier and softer, like I weigh a good 10 pounds more than I do. Like, I try to be objective, I look at new photos and I just look so thick. I can see progress from 10, 15, 20 lbs ago, but it's my bones, or proportions, or a ton of hidden visceral fat, or my goddamn breasts, or idk what. My best friend told me the other day that I was "sturdy", which is exactly how I look, will always look. I have a 22" waist but I feel like a huge hulking monster.

I honestly don't know what my goals are. I want to be strong but also small and slim. I don't want my muscles to look any ropier but I can't do deep restriction any more so I do a shitload of hardcore exercise, usually brutal bodyweight HIIT which involves a lot of explosive movement. I don't know how to get a deep enough deficit without it.

I'm close to what I thought was my gw but I hate how I look. I'm going to restrict as much as I can with low-moderate protein, around 500-600 total, to cut as much body fat as I can and hopefully also lose some other mass, and then see where I'm at I guess.

I just don't understand and I don't know what to do.

----

Edited to add: whoa you guys. When I posted to whine I did not expect to get such kind support/advice. It's amazing to have a place where I don't feel quite so much like I'm going out of my mind. <3 <3 <3

[Rant/Rave] Here is a (slightly humorous) TMI rant for all of you.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 13:29:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbq0k/here_is_a_slightly_humorous_tmi_rant_for_all_of/
---
Way TMI, enjoy my struggle.

I've been really good with food the past couple days and saw the scale nudge a bit but of COURSE life can't fuck off long enough for me to enjoy it.

I not only got my period a day early (I'm otherwise regular down to like the fucking hour so this is abnormal for me) BUT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO POOP FOR DAYS AND CANT. I know the scale would look different if I wasn't constipated *on top of* period bloat and just AUUGGHH really this is my life right now?!!?

I would "take care of this" with a million cups of coffee but I coincidentally don't have any in the house. IM A FUCKING BARISTA AND I DONT HAVE COFFEE IN MY OWN HOUSE. I literally make other people coffee all day long and naturally this occurs over the course of me having multiple days off in a row.

I'm sitting on the couch just laughing at how stupid this all is. At least I'm in a good enough mood to not let this upset me.

Anyways whatever life, if this is all you have to throw at me I can't complain.

[Rant/Rave] Yay for near impossible eating hours!
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Mar 28 12:30:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbg0a/yay_for_near_impossible_eating_hours/
---
I have to commute to work in another city that takes about 2 hours. I usually work a 9-5 but rarely will be called upon for a 12-8 or 10-6.

My first week back from Easter I'm on 12-8s. Unlike my old place in the bank, my new office doesn't have a proper staff room or microwave or anything.

This means I have to do all my eating before 9am in the morning to get to work. And I'm not a morning eater. I feel sick in the morning.

This week I'll be managing to fit in about 500 calories max per day. Even with snacking on popcorn at my desk.

And it'll mean pretty much 24 hour fasts between meals.

My work said they'll make adjustments to help me recover. Won't change the schedule though. And I won't complain. I've got therapy on the 5th April. Let's see if I can get to a BMI of 18 before then.

[Goal] I'm gonna call it a cheat day
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 28 12:17:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cbdua/im_gonna_call_it_a_cheat_day/
---
I'm gonna tell myself it's ok, it's Easter, I've worked hard, I'll let myself enjoy it tonight; not binging, just enjoying some small things.

[Help] Looking for thinspo
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 155 | 19.9 | -53 | M]
Created: Mon Mar 28 11:55:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cba4x/looking_for_thinspo/
---
I recently lost a lot of weight and am looking to go even lower. I feel like I have a lot of loose skin, so I'm curious if anyone here has any thinspo of people who've gone to underweight BMIs from being obese?

[Help] Movies and documentaries on Netlix?
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 11:46:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cb8pp/movies_and_documentaries_on_netlix/
---
Hi! I was wondering if any of you know some movies/documentaries on Netflix about eating disorders? Doesn't matter in which country it is (I use Smartflix, everything is available on it).

[Discussion] Fitness trackers
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 11:22:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cb4r9/fitness_trackers/
---
I know a lot of y'all have fit bits. I've owned three and not had good luck. What others ones do people own? I'm looking at jawbone move and Garmin vivofit.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 28 10:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4car9r/daily_food_diary_march_28_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Help me get thinner!! Pic included
/u/improvemyfatassbody
Created: Mon Mar 28 09:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cahzt/help_me_get_thinner_pic_included/
---
[removed]

[Help] Family vacation
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:53:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cagk3/family_vacation/
---
hey guys - I REALLY need help.

So basically I'm on vacation right now. There's so much shitty food around me, and I don't want to fuck up- I just reached the non-overweight BMI, and I don't want to screw up. I have a bunch of shit food around me for breakfast- Frosted Flakes, high calorie oatmeal, and I'm SUPER tempted. I'm going to stay strong and have an egg white omelette for breakfast, but I'm scared I'm going to fuck up for lunch and dinner.

Tips anyone?

Ephedrine in US?
/u/HowtoInternets
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:50:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cag3g/ephedrine_in_us/
---
[removed]

[Help] Ephedrine in the U.S.?
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:25:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cack2/ephedrine_in_the_us/
---
I really want to try an EC stack but I am seriously scared of buying Bronkaid. I feel like they're going to know.

How do you buy it without looking like a guilty child?

Edit: I did it. I had to go up to the counter at Rite Aid, they literally scanned my license and made me sign something saying I wouldn't use it for anything other than it's intended purpose (I assume to prevent drug shut but whatever). That was it. Painless. I don't know why I was scared. Thanks everyone!

[Rant/Rave] Feeling Strong Today
/u/quona [5' 4.5" | 123.2 | 21.22 | 46.4 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:15:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4cab2p/feeling_strong_today/
---
Hello, friends. I hope all of you had perfectly restricted Easters!

I was not so great. I slipped into some pretty major depression the past 25 days, and my eating and exercise fell all to hell thanks to the apathy of a good depressive episode. I didn't gain much (I have no idea how! I was eating like I was on a mission) but whew, it was mentally rough.

I woke up this morning feeling like I turned a corner, and I'm so glad for it. I'm taking an EC stacks to keep the cravings at bay until I can get my body used to not having breakfast and lunch again.

I'm so glad to have my resolve back and care about things again.

How are you today? Feeling strong, too, I hope?

[Help] I'm sitting in Luton airport with a massive plate of sausage and mash in front of me...
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 113.8lbs | 17.05 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 08:00:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ca8tn/im_sitting_in_luton_airport_with_a_massive_plate/
---
Warning: massive boring ramble ahead, mainly postibg to distract myself from the food

So i got to the airport 4 hours early because that was the only coach, and now my flight is delayed by an hour. The day started off really well with two coffees and no food...until now. I'm not even hungry. The EC stack is making me feel sick and my hands are seriously shaking from the caffeine. I browsed MAC and Kurt Geiger and Accessorize. I read comic books, i drank coffee, i did my make up, I stood in the giant queue for the toilets for hours.

And then for no reason, no fucking reason, i drifted into the canteen. Im like a fucking addict, I can't stay away. I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY. GENUINELY. FOR ONCE IN MY FAT PIGGY LIFE I'M NOT HUNGRY BUT I STILL HAVE A MASSIVE PLATE OF FOOD IN FRONT OF ME.

Bangers and mash. That's my weakness. Fuck chocolate abd pizza abd chips and pancakes and ice cream and crisps abd sweets and cake. Bangers and mash with peas and gravy is where its at.

So I've decided to implement some rules.

1) no taking a bite until I've posted this and turned all the links purple.
2) 1 tiny bite at a time, chew 10 times
3) cutlery down between each bite
4) water between every bite
5) no eating more than 1/3rd
6) read at the same time

Hopefully the food will be cold soon and even more gross. This might not seem like much to some of you but this is a real test for me. I'm good at restricting, I'm good at saying no and skipping meals but its really hard for me not to devour something when its in front of me. I hate hate hate wasting food and money. I'm also very aware that I might as well put up a giant flashing neon sign above my head saying EATING DISORDER for all the other people in this place to see. Oh well, fuck them. And fuck this food. Its gone cold now, the gravy has congealed, the sausage is a little curled up thing that looks like a turd. I don't need this shit. I'm going to stay with my dad and his gf who are probably going to pour oil and red meat and butter and cheese down my throat fpr the next 10 days. I might as well do some pre-emptive damage control.

Okay I'm thinking a couple more bites of mash, minimal gravy, no sausage. Please wish me luck!

[Goal] Under 125!
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 07:25:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ca46h/under_125/
---
After weeks and weeks of stalled weight and self sabotage, I am finally under 125 lbs. I was worried Easter was going to throw me off again, but I did it! I'm going to try and enjoy this for a bit, but I still have some work to do to get to my UGW of 110. Thank you all for your encouragement and support!

[Thinspo] No matter what body shape you have, skinny is beautiful. (84 images)
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 28 07:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ca3b3/no_matter_what_body_shape_you_have_skinny_is/
---
http://imgur.com/a/62CGi

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! March 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 28 06:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c9upa/weekly_stats_update_march_28_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 28, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] I feel so much better
/u/peruvian-bitch [157cm | 48.8kg | -24.2kg]
Created: Mon Mar 28 04:54:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c9ofh/i_feel_so_much_better/
---
I wasn't restricting or counting calories all last week, and I was feeling horrible and really uncomfortably full. But today, I ate around ~800cal (kind of a lot, but it's under my limit of 900) and I feel so much better!!! I don't know, I just felt like sharing

[Discussion] Does anyone else find that they need less sleep when they restrict?
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 23:57:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c919f/does_anyone_else_find_that_they_need_less_sleep/
---
I've been restricting all week, after over a year of no real restriction. Some nights, it's hard to fall asleep. I'm familiar with this since I remember having many insomniac nights when I'd restrict in the past. But most nights, I'm able to fall asleep pretty quickly, and I find that my body naturally wakes me up earlier. I typically set my alarm to go off between 7:45am and 8:15am. The past few mornings, I've been waking up 45-60 minutes earlier for no real reason other than just...waking up. I usually go to bed between 10pm and 11pm, but last night it was midnight. I thought "great, I'm going to bed late and I'm not going to be able to wake up early and be productive." But I did wake up earlier without my alarm.

Is there any science behind this? Is this common with restriction?

[Goal] About to start MONDAY TO FRIDAY fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 23:39:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8zo5/about_to_start_monday_to_friday_fast/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] hot cross buns are EVIL!
/u/queencactus [5'8/173cm | 143lbs/65kg | 21 | -59lbs/27kg) | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 22:51:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8uul/hot_cross_buns_are_evil/
---
http://imgur.com/olqv369

[Discussion] Do you...?
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Mar 27 21:31:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8lp0/do_you/
---
Do you ever see what someone posted as Thinspo and think "wow. That is way too fat"? I do this all the time. Probably because my goals are extreme and I'm already the size of most thinspo models. (My goal is 70pounds. I am 5foot3 and weigh 97pounds(literally one pound underweight))

[Tip] [PSA] Magnesium is a great way to get off laxatives or just to poop
/u/TheThinSister
Created: Sun Mar 27 21:05:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8in9/psa_magnesium_is_a_great_way_to_get_off_laxatives/
---
I know a lot of us love/hate our laxatives. If you want to stop using them, but have a dependency on them, Magnesium tablets help a lot. When you consume extra Magnesium, the left over attracts water to the intestines. A lot like laxatives, but a lot less damaging. The key though is to hydrate. Which shouldn't be a problem for lots of us here.

I used to abuse the hell out of laxatives for years. I couldn't go without them. But I started taking Magnesium (125% the daily requirement) at around 19:00-20:00 (7-8pm) and in the morning I can use the restroom. No dehydration, stomach cramping, nausea, etc. It isn't harmful to you either. Magnesium also is a muscle relaxer so it helps with sleep as well!

I hope this helps!

[Rant/Rave] Plans for this week on vacation
/u/Highlyunattractive
Created: Sun Mar 27 20:57:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c8how/plans_for_this_week_on_vacation/
---
I'm writing this here to keep accountable. I need to see the scale go below 75lbs when I get back or at least stay same.

Today I got into the states and on my first day binged, I've been craving meat and beans and I gave in and had lots of Mexican despite following a mainly vegan diet.

Im here with my mom and the main thing she talks about is the restaurants she wants to eat at. I care more about my body than excusing my weight loss just because we're on vacation. I told her today is the only day I will splurge, when we go out to eat il pack veggies or fruit and bring that along instead.

Im depressed because im losing my hair, I don't need to add to the problem and eat away the stress.

Stay strong, enjoy life without food. Their are no excuses or exceptions, being on vacation isn't a reason to be gross.




5 lbs in a day..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 19:51:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c89fw/5_lbs_in_a_day/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Anybody who lives on their own have any tips?
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 19:10:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c84ao/anybody_who_lives_on_their_own_have_any_tips/
---
I'm moving out of my moms house and I'm so happy. I'll no longer have to weasel my way out of dinner, or secretly try to work out in my room at 2am. I can finally eat as little as I want with nobody noticing! I can work out at all hours of the night! Are there any things you guys do differently now that you live alone?

[Thinspo] Found the perfect anti-thinspo
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Mar 27 18:58:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c82oj/found_the_perfect_antithinspo/
---
http://youtu.be/0_HdgkHz1Mo

[Intro] Happy Easter!
/u/dead_chinadoll
Created: Sun Mar 27 18:26:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7yi0/happy_easter/
---
http://imgur.com/og76VtB

[Discussion] Feel out of control lately. Just prepped tomorrow's food to start the ABC again
/u/Cuterwithage
Created: Sun Mar 27 17:29:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7qyp/feel_out_of_control_lately_just_prepped_tomorrows/
---
I've been "good" or whatever for quite a while, managing my stress with exercise and pot. I don't know why but today it just all got to be too much. My SO is going away next weekend for a work retreat and I'm suddenly off the rails. (No cheating history or trust issues on his part. I just tend to project insecurity in life onto needing him near me).

I have been so good getting baby lard off my body (I put on a disgusting 75 pounds) the healthy way but I NEED to be skinny again. I have 25 pounds left to get down to my old weight of 130 and then I'm heading back down to old "sick" weight of 108. I always loved ABC in the past so here we go. Just thinking about it is calming me so much.

Edit spelling

[Help] Binged but can't purge... struggling emotionally.
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 17:24:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7q9b/binged_but_cant_purge_struggling_emotionally/
---
Hi, bulimic here who is not allowed to purge. So today I ended up having a massive binge and I'm not all too sure why, I think it's because it's Easter and everyone on facebook were posting lovely posts about family get togethers and I was just home alone with my daughter.

I went 2000kcals over budget. I am so mad at myself. I ate chocolate, pasta, chorizo, bread and was going to make a cake but instead just ate the raw batter.

I can't purge. I have been purging for 8 years, and recently underwent a lot of dental treatment as the purging caused a lot of decay and gum disease so bad that my jaw bone had started to receed and disintergrate. I was told I was about a year away from losing my teeth if I carried on.

So I have stopped, but am not sure how to cope with this binge. I have been doing really well, (8lbs in the last 10 days), but tonight was a mess.

**TLDR: 8 years of purging caused severe dental damage, can no longer purge or will lose teeth, how the fuck do I cope with binging?**

[Thinspo] Thinspo album I put together
/u/weightliftingwaif [5'2.5" | 111.8lbs | 20.76| 2lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 27 17:14:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7p0d/thinspo_album_i_put_together/
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http://m.imgur.com/a/nvCXc

[Discussion] Why do you guys run/workout?
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Sun Mar 27 16:55:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7m9x/why_do_you_guys_runworkout/
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Seriously. Sometimes I can never find the motivation because Im just so tired. When I do feel motivated, its because Im hungry and running will allow me to eat a little more.

[Help] I have bought a pint of Ben & Jerry's. I'm about to binge.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 16:47:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7l8x/i_have_bought_a_pint_of_ben_jerrys_im_about_to/
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I've been eating so terribly all day. My stomach hurts, I am SO full and bloated. I ate pizza and pastries. Carbs carbs carbs. Sugar. I have a pint of Ben and Jerry's and it's sitting in the freezer. I'm actively and mindfully drinking hot tea so I can settle my stomach A BIT before I go in on the pint of ice cream so I don't feel THAT sick. Ugh what the fuck? I feel trapped by this binge. I'm in pain, I feel so anxious, so helpless. I OBVIOUSLY don't want to do this. But I can't resist. The desire is so powerful. I never stop to write out these thoughts, I usually just binge. But writing them out is hard. I'm admitting that the fucking ice cream is controlling my battered and exhausted mind. And I'm ALREADY physically in pain, >1000 calories is gonna be dumped in too?! And I'm having trouble saying no. I feel so helpless. How can I stop this ice cream binge? How can I be aware that I ALREADY fucked up today SO hard and I know I'm going to restrict again all week...and still say NO to this ice cream? It's just ice cream...my entire day is derailed over it. I don't want to clean, organize, draw, paint, read, I'm just mindlessly watching netflix in pain and panic.

Ugh, ED causes such extremes. This is so low, I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. This mentality highlights anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. I don't feel like I'm cut out for this world, NOTHING feels worth it OR bearable if something like ICE CREAM is sending me into an uncontrollable mindspace. Yet when I'm restricting I feel so in control and excited about life. I can't do this.

I'm so tired. This stupid fucking wall of text doesn't even give justice to the emotions overwhelming me, it just all sounds like the complaints of a child.

EDIT: it's been 29 minutes since I've posted this. I'm going to take my 26oz chamomile tea into the shower, sit, let the hot water hit me, and cry. The ice cream, it's mere presence in the freezer, has consumed my night. I've come to terms with that. **I'm simultaneously obsessing over eating it and not eating it. It's tearing my mind apart.** I want to run downstairs and eat it, but I'm scared of how horrible I'll feel mentally/physically afterwards. I'm stuck, I feel quite literally trapped in my mind. I need to be consumed by this disorder tonight, I can't fight it. I'm too tired. I'm going to sit in the shower until I'm finished the tea, or until I'm a giant tearless prune. And then I'll go from there. Ugh. Thanks for listening. I just don't want to feel so alone.

[Rant/Rave] A very frustrated, very long rant. Excuse my language.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 16:23:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7hzf/a_very_frustrated_very_long_rant_excuse_my/
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I ate so much today. I ate so fucking much. I planned for breakfast and lunch and a few chocolates and it wouldve been fine, it would have been sub 1000 calories at the very least which is great for a family holiday. But no, I had to have twice the chocolate I planned. I had to have a cappuccino that had too much sugar and didnt even taste good. I had to pick out two of every dessert and steal it away from my room so i could chew and spit all of it and just throw it away. Even without putting any of that second binge in my stomach i feel like a whale. My grand total for today is 1,192 calories. Thats still under my tdee, and yet im freaking the hell out and i feel like a failure.

I feel freaking huge. and still people have been lying to my lately. My grandpa said I was too skinny. My friend said she was worried about me last week. Hell even my gf's parents, who are lovely, have said I dont need to watch what i eat (after i made a comment about how i couldnt eat something because of how heavy it was). My bmi is only 17.84. Most people wouldnt even guess im near underweight by looking at me.

I dont understand how nobody can can see what i see. Sure my collar bones stick out, I lose weight from my chest easily. everything else is fat. my stomach is huge, my legs are HUGE, i feel so freaking wide.

I really want to punish myself somehow, I feel like lashing out so bad. I wish I had laxatives to take, so I could clean myself out of all this garbage, but I dont. I dont purge and I cant here anyways. I dont know what to do with myself Im just an exhausted ball of frustration that feels fatter by the minute.

tl;dr: i ate too much and feel huge. people say otherwise and i disagree. Im so mad at myself. rant end.

[Thinspo] Goodbye, winter weight
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Sun Mar 27 16:05:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c7fhp/goodbye_winter_weight/
---
http://i.imgur.com/9qlSuUL.jpg

[Rant/Rave] easter was awful, so ready to start this new week
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 124.5 | 21.65 | F | 27y]
Created: Sun Mar 27 15:03:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c771m/easter_was_awful_so_ready_to_start_this_new_week/
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Gained about 2-3 pounds from being sedentary and eating around 1500-1800 cals a day. Yeah this sucks.

I'm thinking of fasting/juice fasting but I've never done this before successfully and I have some food that is going bad soon...so I might just stick to 300 cals a day for the next 5 days.

Anyone got any tips for starting a new week after a horrible past few days? Anyone else had an awful easter? It wasn't even the candy. Just...food. So. much. food.

[Goal] FINALLY reached my goal!
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 95 | 15.9 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 14:32:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c72p9/finally_reached_my_goal/
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So I've been dealing with a lot of shit the last few months, but finally things are sorting themselves out. Back in January I blew out the blood vessels in my eyes from purging. I was forced to quit purging and let my eyes heal. They were blood red for a month! Ugly and embarrassing. Because I couldn't purge, I was less tempted to binge.

After a wicked b/p session on Fat Tuesday, I made my Lent thing (not super religious but I know that for Lent you have to give up a bad vice or something like that) no bingeing, no purging. It's been SO hard but getting easier as my weight drops and I get used to the hunger.

In mid- February I wrecked my car. :( Finally done dealing with insurance, deductibles, getting a new car, all that fun shit. I love my new car and had maybe 2 years at most with my old one anyway (It was a 1997 Cadillac Seville, great car when it was in its prime but the A/C no longer worked, the cassette player was broken, and the engine would run hot when idling in traffic) but it was still a huge blow to me knowing I wrecked my car. Honestly being depressed about wrecking my car helped with the weight loss too. When I'm depressed I don't want to eat.

Yesterday my boyfriend was looking at my body and said, 'You've gotten thinner! How much do you weigh now?' I felt bad because of how sad/ concerned he was but at the same time I was proud. It's sick I know. I weighed myself this morning and saw 100.6lbs. I finally did it! Happy Easter to me! (I got a giant yellow bunny Peep plushie, didn't want any candy and asked for a plush instead. I love it!)

Next goal: 97lbs (after the year of my old car.)

[Tip] 93 cal cheesy rice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 14:03:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6yt8/93_cal_cheesy_rice/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Can't seem to break the cycle :(
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 13:55:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6xna/cant_seem_to_break_the_cycle/
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http://imgur.com/mX88Cm9

[Discussion] Does alchohol replace food for anyone else? At least on days like this.
/u/Lupish_Ah [6'1 | 135 |-15 | Male]
Created: Sun Mar 27 13:36:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6v0a/does_alchohol_replace_food_for_anyone_else_at/
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You know, since easter sort of dissolves the stigma against a day drinking, I'm usually at least fairly drunk for most of the day. Since everyone pushes eating dinner so hard, I'm usually really nervous and drink so much I'm full by dinner and have already exceeded my calorie allowance or at least come close.

Does this happen to anyone else?

[Tip] At least all this food can be used for something fun :P
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 27 12:46:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6o03/at_least_all_this_food_can_be_used_for_something/
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http://imgur.com/T8EMqr2

At least all this food can be used for something :P
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 12:46:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6nx9/at_least_all_this_food_can_be_used_for_something_p/
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http://imgur.com/T8EMqr2

[Thinspo] Album of me from this morning
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 12:20:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6kcj/album_of_me_from_this_morning/
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I have avoided posting pics because I am so unhappy and ashamed about my weight, but I figure it's better to post and be honest about it. Hopefully this will give me some motivation to stop being a fat lard.

https://imgur.com/a/5mIbs

[Tip] Worried about eating too much Easter candy? Here's a tip for motivation and rationing.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 12:14:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c6jho/worried_about_eating_too_much_easter_candy_heres/
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http://imgur.com/a/THCxP

[Goal] Today I am having a binged up fucky day
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 10:59:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c694y/today_i_am_having_a_binged_up_fucky_day/
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Starting with adding the calories of my binge yesterday to today as well as a bite of cheese danish and this glorious rumchata white russian....fuck. let's get drunk and stay skinny ladies

[Discussion] Weird things that look better after losing weight
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Sun Mar 27 10:36:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c661a/weird_things_that_look_better_after_losing_weight/
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Beyond rib cages and collar bones, though those are great too

I've found myself strangely enamored with how my feet look. I don't remember ever having looked at my feet a lot before I got to this weight, but the veins and tendons are really visible now and it looks neat. I also like my spider fingers and how there is space between each one now - though that's probably because they are crooked...

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 27 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c61ae/daily_food_diary_march_27_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Coworker/friend made a comment and I can't stop thinking about it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 27 09:25:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c5whw/coworkerfriend_made_a_comment_and_i_cant_stop/
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[deleted]

[Help] So I'm feeling really shitty
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 27 08:59:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c5tch/so_im_feeling_really_shitty/
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On the edge of a binge since well, I always pick the wrong guys and end up heart broken. Please give me something to do, read and keep me to my goals :(

[Goal] Under 20!
/u/christmoose [5'6" | 121.2 lbs | 19.56 | -34lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 07:40:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c5kh5/under_20/
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Guys! I weighed myself this morning and
...... My BMI and body fat are both under 20!

I'm so excited and I just wanted to say thanks for all the motivation and support! 21.2 lbs more until my UGW of 100 lbs.

Since I'm so much closer to my goal than my highest, it feels so close I can taste (lol) it!

Time to celebrate my new accomplishment with a 36+ hour fast! :)

[Help] Has anyone else had issues with overweight loved ones?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | 22.7 | -12 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 05:07:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c584z/has_anyone_else_had_issues_with_overweight_loved/
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I love my boyfriend. I do, he is the one for me.

But since I descended into this ED mess again, I've been having a really hard time with HIS weight gain.

He's put on 30ish pounds in the last 6 months, 7 months, and I'm finding I'm so much less attractive.

It's not just that, I'm much more easily irritated by him, I want him around less, I want to do things for him less, I hate his touch sometimes, and I want to have sex WAY less (read: never)

What do I do?

We live together, I go to bed with him every night with his stomach hanging out of a too small t shirt, and our normal cuddles squishing me so that I can't breathe.

Sometimes I'm actually repelled by him, it's all fat really. Any overweight dude on the bus grosses me out. But this is the love of my life.

What do I do?

[Help] I have a medical marijuana cars to help with my sleep and anxiety, but I binge before bed.. Help!
/u/yearofthemonkeycat
Created: Sun Mar 27 04:57:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c57hd/i_have_a_medical_marijuana_cars_to_help_with_my/
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Title says most of it and I've also posted in a comment but I'm getting pretty desperate.

Basically, I have a medical marijuana card that I use to get edibles from (it's a potent tiny gummy, hardly any calories).. It helps me relax and fall asleep at night which is a problem for me in recent years. It's the only aid that doesn't make me feel weird the next day (like sleeping pills).

The problem is that my average weight has increased significantly as a result. I used to happily weigh 110-115 lbs at 5'4" (ideal weight with no criticism, anything between 95 and 110 and people start bugging me too much and just not worth it)... Now I'm around 125-130 and it grosses me out. I'm disgusted by my naked body :(

But I feel trapped between my problems... Sleep is so important to me with my demanding job but I'm tired of being so chunky.

Any help or similar experiences is sincerely appreciated!

[Rant/Rave] One down, two to go.
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 116.6lb | 18.45 | 47.3lb | NB]
Created: Sun Mar 27 03:40:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c52kw/one_down_two_to_go/
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One day of fasting complete. I feel good. I promised myself that if I can go two more days I'll treat myself to a Victoria's Secret shopping spree, but I'll probably have to eat at least a little Easter candy around my family today or they'll ask questions. Ugh.

[Rant/Rave] Another rant, same old same old. Move along.
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 113 lbs | 19.78 | -42 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 03:17:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c513z/another_rant_same_old_same_old_move_along/
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Honestly, What I'm about to type out is the same old story everyone posts here (I wish I could eat less) I don't want people to waste their time reading it. I just feel like I need to get all of this out. I need for all of these feelings and thoughts to exists somewhere other than my mind. I can't sleep otherwise...

Prepare for a long story...

My husband's ex wife filed rape charges against him approximately 3 years ago. They had been separated for almost 3 years when she filed the charges. She claims he raped her on their wedding night. She never reported the rape for three years. no rape kit. she never mentioned it to anyone. For three years. The only evidence that was brought to trial was her saying that he had raped her. He said he didn't. The jury found him guilty. Sentenced to four years in prison. He is now a felon sex offender.

They (my husband and his ex wife) are both military, which changes a lot of the laws, how the judicial system works, and prison time (UCMJ). The military is trying to prove a point to the public about sexual assault and rape after all of the controversy, which leads to (in my opinion) a lot of false convictions based on little to no evidence. My husbands case is not an isolated incident unfortunately.

He hit 2 years in a military prison March 15th of this year.

We have been focusing on the appeals. I paid $10,000 for a civilian attorney (because the free military assigned attorneys are either incompetent, overworked, or both) and have been struggling to pay all of our bills on only my income. Part of his sentence was forfeiture of all pay and allowances, effective immediately. I make $30,000 and live in San Diego. We had bills and debt for a dual income family making $80,000.

This last Thursday, after waiting over two years to trudge our way through the appeal courts, hoping and waiting and crying and rocking myself to sleep, holding back tears with the hope that justice would finally be served: our appeal was denied. We have future options (for another $5,000 fee) but they are incredibly slim. It is now very likely that my husband will be labeled a sexually violent criminal for the rest of his life. For something he never did.

Sex offender registry.
Residency restrictions.
Mandatory notification of neighbors.
No travel to most countries.
No work with children.
Limited job prospects.
The list goes on ... (most sex offenders are homeless)

So many repercussions for something he never even did.
And there's nothing I can do about it. For someone who has always tried to control her life, for someone who obsesses over how straight a line is or a half pound of weight variation on the scale, to not have ANY control over such a HUGE issue....I think I'm starting to lose my mind. I was literally laughing and crying at the same time Thursday night. Suicidal Ideations, mania, constant pacing and crying, no sleep for 2 days. I still don't know how I managed it (Hint: alcohol).



My ultimate point in all of this is this:
I want to eat everything. All the time. I think about Jack-In-The-Box constantly. But I need to have control over something right now. So far I've resisted food, but I've been drinking to try and cope. In the end, the calories from the alcohol more than makes up for the food restriction, and I need better strategies to restrict.

I have only 'safe' foods in the fridge right now. I put tape over my credit card to remind myself to not buy any food/alcohol and plan on not buying any more food until I've lost at least 10 pounds. I have hydroxyelite coming in the mail. I started playing an MMORPG to take up time (Black Desert, I have 2 guest passes if anyone wants to play). Also adult coloring books. I have to control myself. I will control myself. I am strong enough to do this. I am, I am, I am.

Even if I can't control the justice the system, Even if I can't control societies opinions and assumptions of my husband, Even if I can't shoulder this burden for him: I can control what I do (or don't) put in my mouth. I can control my weight. I can control my appearance. I will meet a goal, even if it's something as small and inconsequential as my weight.

I will take control. I will FEEL in control. I will regain my sanity.

One fasting hour at a time. I will.

I *have* to



[Rant/Rave] Finally hit a new low
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 27 02:13:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4x9u/finally_hit_a_new_low/
---
And now it's time for Easter breakfast, lunch, eggs and dinner + dessert.

[Rant/Rave] Some gorl at work over guess my weight by almost 40 pounds .....
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Sun Mar 27 01:56:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4w5v/some_gorl_at_work_over_guess_my_weight_by_almost/
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I feel like crying. Yeah my work uniform looks a little frumpy on me doesn't flatter me at all, but we were talking about weight and when I told her how much I weigh she gasped and was like really?? I was like yeah why? She goes I thought you were at least 145.... I almost broke into tears. Is that really what I fucking look like? I'm in the mid 120s at 5"4' but jesus christ that's so drastic....... I've been skiping the gym unfortunately for the past month but fuck that. Brokaid, gym and coffee are going to be my damn life for the next few weeks till I get below 120. Fuck that. I can't stop thinking if I look so much heavier to people now or if it was just her ):

[Rant/Rave] I'm disgusting and I hate myself
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 27 01:36:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4urw/im_disgusting_and_i_hate_myself/
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I'm in the process of drinking a litre of saltwater to flush out my system after the filth I've put into it this weekend.

In 24hrs I drank an entire litre of vodka, 2L of juice, 15 beers, half a litre of milk, and entire bowl of Diane sauce I made.

I'm so ashamed I could cry

(Also on mobile, anyone know if narwhal allows you to add flair?)

[Rant/Rave] Vent
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 26 22:57:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4h3h/vent/
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Every time I eat my parents are all like "wow you're eating a lot" "wow do you ever stop eating" "wow that's a lot of food"
Even if I eat nothing all day and then go and eat chips and a slice of pizza they'll say that.
They encourage it all and they don't even care. My mom is a fucking lard and never stops eating yet the second I eat I get shamed.

[Tip] Binge food, ladies, binge food that won't make you want to die.
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | 22.7 | -12 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 22:36:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4ex1/binge_food_ladies_binge_food_that_wont_make_you/
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Two words; Chapman's Sorbet.

http://www.chapmans.ca/Products/Sorbet/#RaspberrySorbet

I love this stuff.

The Triple Berry flavour is so good, it's the best. I love it.

and here's the best part:

TWO WHOLE FUCKING LITRES IS UNDER 1000 CALORIES.

I literally sit in bed and eat this from the carton with a spoon, and I don't even hate myself.

The highest calorie flavour; mango is less than 1500 calories for 2L

It's not the best, but if you want ice cream or to binge on something like that, this stuff is heaven.

I'm in Ontario, Canada, I buy 2L for $3 at Walmart.

Check it out!

(Also, I just realized how this sounds, I'm not a corporate shill, I just fucking love this stuff<3)

[Rant/Rave] Can I vent for a sec?
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | 22.7 | -12 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 22:16:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c4ctw/can_i_vent_for_a_sec/
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Okay, more than a sec, cause I am freaking the fuck out. And you are the people that get me and I love you. Is that creepy? I love you internet friends.

I went home for Easter, I wasn't going to, I was going to work (For time AND A HALF, may I add) but a psychiatrist told me not to go to school not to go to work, wrote letters to my employer and my school and told me to go home.

I saw her because I was in the hospital. For an overdose, drunken, stupid overdose. They made me drink charcoal and vomit up everything and they told me if I continue my antidepressant or my EC stack or exercise or even walk too fucking fast I could have a heart attack, so don't.

I'm withdrawing from my anti depressant, I can feel my heart in my chest struggling, I can't exercise, I can't even walk up a hill, I feel miserable.

I have Prozac and Klonopin for the withdrawal and I want to take it all. I know this one would work and I want to do it. I can't do it though, I can't make myself a waste of time for my family like that. How pathetic is that? I don't even fucking care about me, I just don't want to waste my family's time and money.

The only reason I haven't asked for an inpatient program is because I don't want to waste tuition money. I just can't do it.

And I'm eating. I'm eating like a big fat fucking fuck. I had a donut and ice cream yesterday, as well as dinner, I had Easter dinner tonight, and cake, and 2 chocolate bars. and because my Mum is nice I have 1.2 fucking kilograms of Cadbury mini eggs outside my room right now waiting for me tomorrow morning.

I can't go back to where I live until Monday, and my Dad has all these meals planned for me cause he always does when I come home, and I don't know what to do.

I want my EC stack, I miss the gym, I miss the pay from my work, and I miss eating my 10 fucking baby carrots a day and my baby bell cheese and nobody fucking questioning me.

I just want out, this is all too much and I want out. I want to go into the hospital, and just stay. I just want to not worry about school and the temptation to take all my pills, and my work, and my eating cause hospital food is gross anyway.

I want to die, that's the out I really want, but I'm too fucking selfish to even do that, cause I don't want anyone to think badly of me. Even suicidal its all about me.

Fucking fuck fuck fuck.

I wish I could just lose it. I wish I could just break from reality and be done. Live my days in some facility not even knowing what happened. It would be awful for my family and boyfriend though. I really just want an out. Any out. Please any fucking out.

I ate too much and I'm miserable and I want to die. Fuck.

[Rant/Rave] IM SO FUCKING HAPPY!! (Please excuse my French)
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 26 20:58:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c44qo/im_so_fucking_happy_please_excuse_my_french/
---
PEOPLE ARE USING PHOTOS OF ME AS THINSPO!! I feel less fat now. Still not anywhere near my goal.

[Rant/Rave] I'm consistently setting myself back so I'm making this post to hold myself accountable.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 18:52:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3pjd/im_consistently_setting_myself_back_so_im_making/
---
I have done nothing but overeat for almost two weeks now, I have lost the last five pounds of progress by eating shit food and eating a lot of it. I have not been keeping food diaries, and sometimes I don't keep track of what I eat at all. Every night I feel like shit. I stand on the scale and stare in the mirror and feel bad because I can see what I'm doing to myself. I have only done workouts on three of the last ten days.

I am acting worthless and I am better than this. I'm going to get up tomorrow, make an Easter breakfast for my husband, and get back on track. I have an appointment in the making with an amazing tattoo artist a few hours from me for my dream tattoo on my sternum and I *WILL* be AT LEAST ten pounds lighter when that appointment comes, in a month and a half. I have been saving for this for months and I won't fuck it up by being pudgy when the time comes.

Ugh. I just need to get it all down and write it out so its in plain English and not bouncing around my head.

[Help] What do you do with eggs?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 18:49:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3p57/what_do_you_do_with_eggs/
---
I'm trying to eat more of them. I prefer just whites but I want to force myself to have whole eggs. I am not really sure what I can do with them other than scramble them.

[Goal] Todays Goal: Under 1000kcal + Under 120kg
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Sat Mar 26 18:23:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3loi/todays_goal_under_1000kcal_under_120kg/
---
I am a bulimic with binge/purge patterns and recently I have been doing quite well...

My big goal for the last two-ish years has been to get under 120kg. Yesterday, I weighed in at 120kg exactly and I thought today would be the day I reach my goal of getting under it. Nope. After a McDonalds binge, I gained and weighed in at 120.4kg today.

So my big goal for today? To eat under 1000kcal and get under 120kg.

I CAN DO IT.

[Rant/Rave] I hate that
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 18:11:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3k6q/i_hate_that/
---
I am so much more hateful of how I look from the side. I don't give a fat shit how I look dead on. I hate how I look from the side! Anyone else feel that? I feel like I disappoint myself everytime I turn in the mirror):

[Tip] Protein fluff, aka amazing ice cream for ~150cal/QUART!
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 17:50:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c3hgg/protein_fluff_aka_amazing_ice_cream_for/
---
Do you guys know about protein fluff? I just discovered it and am obsessed. Basic recipe:

- 1 scoop (30g) whey or casein protein powder, any flavor

- 1/2c any liquid (I use unsweetened vanilla almond milk)

- 1/2t (2g) xanthan gum (can skip if using casein)

Put them in a big bowl and whip with an electric mixer until it's fluffy and greatly increased in volume - today I made over a quart with these quantities! Stick it in the freezer till it's frozen and then binge the fuck out.

With almond milk and my unflavored whey isolate, this came out to ~135 cal for the entire thing. Flavor it however you like - today I added SF vanilla syrup and blueberries, I've also done cocoa powder and sweetener plus stevia-sweetened chocolate chips; mint extract and chips; and orange zest + orange Mio and vanilla for creamsicle!


[Discussion] Anyone play the hypocrite when giving others advice?
/u/nirekha [5'3" | 104 | 18.93]
Created: Sat Mar 26 16:36:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c37sf/anyone_play_the_hypocrite_when_giving_others/
---
I used to be really into nutrition/fitness so when people ask me for tips, I'm careful about emphasizing things like the importance of body composition over weight, mindful food choices, hitting the right macros, accepting cheat days, not being overly restrictive, etc. Obviously when it comes to myself, all of that goes right out the window. I'm ok with eating junk as long as I continue to lose. I punish myself when I mess up. And even though I know plateaus are normal and water retention's a bitch, nothing's gonna stop me from weighing myself obsessively while freaking out over every fluctuation.

I can't imagine the shame of being found out. No one knows how absolute shit it is to have disordered thoughts towards food and exercise than those who deal with it every single day, especially everyone struggling in this sub. I guess it's a need to do everything I can to steer others away from the slippery slope.

[Discussion] Feeling the same size after significant weight loss?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 15:36:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c2zq0/feeling_the_same_size_after_significant_weight/
---
I have now reached my first goal weight of 135, and feel just as fat in the belly as I felt at 163. My goal is 123, and I'm as focused as ever on getting there in a fast but sustainable way, but now I'm worried that it won't be enough. That I'll get to 123 and feel like I still have more to lose.

123 is my goal weight both because it's a super cool number and also because it puts me exactly at an 18.5 BMI. I can't go lower than that because my husband and I have a trust between us that I can do whatever I like with my body as long as I stay healthy. Any size, any body fat %, any exercise program is fine as long as I am healthy. To dip into an underweight BMI would break that trust and even though he would never know unless I told him, I can't break that trust. It's too precious to me.

So I have to be ok when I get to 123. I have to be happy there. Any ideas on how to make sure I will be? That I won't still feel whale-like when I hit my goal?

[Thinspo] A pinterest for thinspo- myanaspace.com
/u/PrincessElla
Created: Sat Mar 26 14:56:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c2ufw/a_pinterest_for_thinspo_myanaspacecom/
---
http://www.myanaspace.com

[Help] I am one pound away from underweight and my willpower is getting shaky, inspire me to continue?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 26 12:59:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c2dvg/i_am_one_pound_away_from_underweight_and_my/
---
I am on day two of a fast and I have a stressful 5 hour work shift tonight so I am very close to bingeing. However, my boyfriend is gone until tomorrow morning and I could absolutely continue my fast until then.

I just hit 108, I am so close to my goals. Help me stay focused please


[Tip] A little tip for all you skinny minnies <3
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 12:29:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c29he/a_little_tip_for_all_you_skinny_minnies_3/
---
If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple,
You don't need to eat anything at all.

[thinspo](http://www.skinnygossip.com/thursday-thinspo-models-eating-backstage/)



[Rant/Rave] Im back
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Sat Mar 26 10:40:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1udc/im_back/
---
I subscribed last summer and reached a low of 120 at 5'9. Shit began to hit the fan and my family became really annoying (mom began to seek counseling and began to sob everytime I refused to eat). So I thought "this is fine. I can maintain this. Fuck ED's right?". FUCK . Over the school year I tried to come to terms with my weight and stopped restricting and sure enough I gained 23 lbs over 3 months. My pants feel tiny and I cant see ribs anymore. I used to have a thin face and now Its rounded. I never thought I would be one of those people who screw up and relapsed but here I am.

[Thinspo] Had a personal lingerie photoshoot today and it's the first time I've really liked my legs. Sharing for possible thinspo
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Mar 26 10:39:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1u6j/had_a_personal_lingerie_photoshoot_today_and_its/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Um9pD

[Discussion] What do you think is the perfect BMI?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 10:06:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1pjh/what_do_you_think_is_the_perfect_bmi/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1pjh/what_do_you_think_is_the_perfect_bmi/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 26 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1owj/daily_food_diary_march_26_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Girls who lost their period because of their ED
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Mar 26 09:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1hnn/girls_who_lost_their_period_because_of_their_ed/
---
At what BMI/after how long did this happen? I'm (still) at a BMI of 19 right now and lost 22 Lb in about 2 1/2 month. Is this what could be happening? I can't be pregnant and I haven't had a lot of stress either. Already 2,5 weeks late.

[Discussion] Same old story, hit my first goal weight then binged it away. Why do we do this?
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Sat Mar 26 08:53:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1fm2/same_old_story_hit_my_first_goal_weight_then/
---
Time and time again we post about hitting our goal weight and immediately binging it away. I want to discuss why. Last night was my second uncontrolled binge of thr month, which makes March my best month in years as far as not binging but I did it after hitting 145, a goal I've wanted for 4 years.

Why do we do it?

I think a small part of me wants to switch to maintaining. It was my first of 3 goal weights before ultimate goal weight and my mind just flipped to "hold on to this" mode.

Another reason is maybe I am a dog, to be rewarded with food. I get quite bitchy sometimes.

Why do you do it?

[Goal] Weekend goal
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Sat Mar 26 08:43:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c1edi/weekend_goal/
---
I finally got a new weight today at 96.4. I haven't seen this number in maybe 4 years. I want to be under 95 next week and that can only happen if I exercise self-control and remember my goals.

It is never worth it to binge. I am in control of what I do with a craving or an urge. Just because I feel something doesn't mean I have to act on it.

This weekend I will eat around 600 calories and move my lazy body for a hike and possibly a run. I am so out of shape and it shows.

Also, I'm going to do ONE social thing this weekend. Loneliness and isolation is driving me crazy...and feeling suicidal. I can't lose more weight if I'm dead. Maybe that is a sad way to think, but it is what it is. Seriously, losing weight has helped a lot with the depression. Meh. Im going to plan on doing something with this meetup group with strangers today

[Rant/Rave] I hit a steady low
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 07:09:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c13pj/i_hit_a_steady_low/
---
And of course I binged bad! Man am I disappointed. I smoked and had the worst chocolate cravings in the world. I was pretty fucking good ALL day and bam. Night time rolls around to fuck my life up. Binged on popcorn, fiber bars, a kit kat, a recees, and peanut butter and took 2 Alli pills. You can imagine what my stomach feels like right now lmao. I'm glad I woke up earlier than everyone this morning and took a really long walk. I plan to walk 3 more times today since my boyfriend (who I feel like I've barely seen and is leaving monday) is going out with his friend and to see some family. I might be invited but I feel intrusive...idk. I'm kinda upset about that too. I torture myself on purpose :/ i logged the chocolate part of my binge into my calories for today as extra motivation. I will be beautiful and i will be happy and i will be a good mom and i will be a good girlfriend and i will smile today.

[Goal] Posting for accountability this weekend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 26 07:05:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c13cp/posting_for_accountability_this_weekend/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] How can I say no to myself?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 06:14:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c0yqn/how_can_i_say_no_to_myself/
---
I've complained about it before in a comment, but I'm in the last 3 weeks of my university, and in that time period, I will have 3 tests, 3 essays (two completely in german), 2 "challenge projects" and then just day to day homework. And then I have a long distance boyfriend, with whom I skype 1-3 hours every day because that's like the one thing I look forward to in my life. And then I also teach English as a second language on thursdays 7pm-9pm, but there's a one hour commute each way. And I tutor German for four different people; 7:30-9pm Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday and then 1-2:30 on sunday and 5-6pm on thursday. And I also have group therapy for a sexual assault from 3-4:30 on thursday and a minicourse that runs 8:45am-1pm on Saturdays and then oh yeah, do you want to work out? yea I do, maybe like an hour to two a day if I could have it my way. Where does this leave me?

with multiple binges a week because I'm burned out and I have no energy to say no to my brain, who's an asshole and apparently wants to see me obese. My stomach is stretched so tight against my skin, it's almost like I have abs. This is fucking ridiculous, and I keep telling myself "only three more weeks, only three more weeks". But do you know the damage I can do to my progress in three weeks? I was once able to gain 10lbs in a week. And not all of that was water weight, let me assure you.

Fuck. Im so fucking done. I don't trust myself or my self control and I hate it. I hate this feeling of fullness. I want to be light. I want to be ethereal and have that feeling of superiority. And now all I feel is the food just sinking in my stomach.

[Help] Cheated on my MC 2 days before exams
/u/ixxybitsy [5'3 | 146.8 lbs | 26.72 | -36 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 26 03:32:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c0muh/cheated_on_my_mc_2_days_before_exams/
---
Help! :( I just cheated on my MC, purged and feel like a stupid POS right now for giving in to my parents. I don't know what to do.

So I was doing the master cleanse with exams coming up in 7 days, because from what I read people generally feel like shit the first 3 days and are fine after that. Today, which is day 5 of my cleanse, my parents and I went out and they basically parent pressured me to eat in front of them. They have never respected my requests to not mention food to me and to stop offering me food, and they actively push food on me which is so annoying. So I ended up eating half a burger, approx 15 fries, 2 tbsp each ketchup and hot sauce, an half of a lemon rainbow cupcake.

I felt awful right after, my stomach was in shock after 5 days of not eating anything solid to having greasy unhealthy shit clogging it. I had to purge as soon as it didn't look suspicious. Couldn't even hack up most of the burger as it already too far down my digestive system.

And I remembered my exams. If I restart the fast today it means that I'll feel like shit on exam day, and it might affect my score drastically. But at the same time I don't want to quit the MC just because my parents got me to eat one freaking time! I feel like they're secretly lording it over me that my attempts to escape being a part of the fat people family tree was foiled by their pushing food. I thought of three options:

1. Ease back into eating right now, go back to fasting/MC the day after exams
2. Keep doing MC and eat moderately on exam day
3. Stop MC, go back on the weekend so it doesn't interfere with school

What's the best way to handle completing master cleanse but staying clear headed enough on exam day?

[Tip] THIS WILL CHANGE UR LIFE IF U EXPEREINCE CONSTIPATION WHILE RESTRICTING
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Sat Mar 26 02:50:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4c0k1y/this_will_change_ur_life_if_u_expereince/
---
[removed]

[Help] How do you have any energy to do anything?
/u/Foodisbadmmkay
Created: Fri Mar 25 22:21:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzxl4/how_do_you_have_any_energy_to_do_anything/
---
I struggle so much everytime I try to restrict or water fast! I live with my parents, and when someone cooks, the food smells so good it makes my stomach growl and my resolve to disappear. The worst thing though is the lack of energy. I'm on an EC stack (200 mg caffeine, 24 mg ephedrine, once as soon as I wake up and the other around noon, I can't take a third dose or I won't sleep at night), but even with that, when I fast all I have the energy for is to be in bed or on the couch with a blanket on me, redditing or sleeping the day away. I can't clean my room, or shower, or even do my nails. I don't even have the energy to get up and get a glass of water!

How do you get the energy to do something to distract you from how hungry you are? Please help!

Edit: Guys, we've got a troll in our midst, please don't feed, just ignore and eventually he/she will get bored and go find something else to do :-) Thanks!

[Rant/Rave] The people around me are so triggering I cannot stop fucking up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 21:49:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzu20/the_people_around_me_are_so_triggering_i_cannot/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How do you fight restriction-related binge urges?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 20:53:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bznqc/how_do_you_fight_restrictionrelated_binge_urges/
---
I have binge urges and sometimes binge cycles but usually they are emotional (or alcoholic), not physical. Recently I have been craving food in a way that I'm sure is because my restriction is driving me a bit nuts. I've never dealt with this for more than a day or two before. I think it's because I'm not getting enough protein, but unfortunately I can't really afford (financially) to eat more protein than I am right now. Do you think a day or two of maintenance would fix it? Or would that just make it worse? All I have in the house is safe food, and I always feel bad wasting it on high-cal days, if that makes sense....

Fastest way to lose weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 19:59:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzhdc/fastest_way_to_lose_weight/
---
[removed]

[Intro] Not Sure I Belong Here
/u/PBhatesme [5'4"| 137 | 23.52 | -59| F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 19:51:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzgee/not_sure_i_belong_here/
---
So I've been lurking here for a bit (I'm fairly active on reddit under my main account, I just made this one to post here). I don't think I really belong, but my eating, exercising and calorie counting have been becoming super obsessive lately. I set out to lose some weight. I'm down about 60 pounds (Roughly 196-135 at 5'4). And most of that was done in a healthy way. But the last couple of months, not so much anymore.

Lately, I find myself restricting more and more. And upping my exercise substantially. I'm terrified of gaining the weight back and I still want to lose more. I've been telling people who don't really know me that I'm done losing. People who know me really well (my mom and my husband) I've been saying 10 more pounds. But to myself, I've been saying another 30. Which would put me at a BMI of 18.5. The lowest I can be without really being underweight.

I was always under the impression that EDs just sort of were or were not. I didn't think you could acquire one out of nowhere. Especially at this age. (I'm in my mid 30s).

My brain does almost nothing anymore except figure out the calories in everything. How much can I eat. How much each exercise burns. It's starting to consume my life. I know I should be afraid and concerned, but honestly I'm not. I just feel so gross and fat. Every pound I lose I feel lighter and happier.

Again I don't think I have an ED, but something is not right. Does disordered eating often start after losing some weight in a healthy way? Or am I just a crazy person?

[Goal] cleaning everything out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 19:12:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bzbi3/cleaning_everything_out/
---
[deleted]

This honestly makes me sick
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 17:12:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4byvq8/this_honestly_makes_me_sick/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vH_9pgWExY

[Rant/Rave] I think restricting is improving my riding!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 15:53:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4byl01/i_think_restricting_is_improving_my_riding/
---
I started restricting this week after several weeks of discouragingly trying to lose weight the healthy way. I "recovered" from anorexia then ended up gaining a ton of weight back. Anyways, this is my first time *really* restricting in over a year probably.

I've lost 2.4 pounds since Monday and I feel amazing (I think I've lost more but my period is causing me to retain a lot of water weight). Restricting has become so easy. This is my first period of "long term" restricting since I bought my horse in October 2014. I had a lesson today and my trainer was beyond impressed with my riding. She was speechless.

Honestly, I was worried about riding today because I was pretty dizzy when I woke up this morning. I don't know if losing weight has made my riding better or the confidence *from* losing weight is making me perform better in the saddle. Whatever it is, I'm feeling super super super awesome. I have a horse riding competition in 2 weeks and hopefully I can keep up this momentum.

Bah! Just wanted to share some positivity with you all and give you all a huge thanks for being such an awesome community.

[Intro] Hi there!
/u/descendingscales [5'7 | 179 | 28.0 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 13:49:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4by2jv/hi_there/
---
I've been lurking on and off on my personal account for a few months now, but I keep seeing posts I want to participate in! I'm 18 years old, soon to be 19, and I don't have an ED, but have struggled with disordered eating for as long as I can remember. At the most extreme, I was eating between 200-500 calories a day for a pretty long stretch a couple of years ago. I used to be part of the tumblr ED community when that was a thing, but from what I can tell it has deteriorated a lot due to tumblr's rules. I was eating pretty normally for a while (two years maybe?) after getting into a lot of working out and being with my s/o (who is a pretty bad influence for overeating) and I gained a ton of weight. At my lightest adult weight I was 155lb and at my heaviest (this year) I was over 200lb and no longer exercising. This fall I cut down to 1200 calories a day to try to lose weight the healthy way. Counting calories and all that came with it kind of plunged me back into heavily restricting again. I also slacked a bit for like six weeks between February and March and regained almost 5 pounds, so that's definitely not helping my mental state. So here I am, and I'm finally going to do it this time. I'm so tired of hating what I see in the mirror.

[Rant/Rave] My goal today
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Fri Mar 25 13:47:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4by2ay/my_goal_today/
---
I need to fast and gym. Tons of water and tea and coffee with almond milk. that's the only exception. I cannot fuck this up. I've been doing so bad lately and I have to stay on track. I'm so disappointed in myself I seriously feel like a cow. ):

[Discussion] Your smoothie recipe!
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 13:38:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4by0w4/your_smoothie_recipe/
---
What is (are) the recipe(s) you use for smoothies? Curious Ɯ

[Goal] I'm not going to believe it
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 13:12:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bxwt0/im_not_going_to_believe_it/
---
But here is what my scale is reading right now.... http://imgur.com/Yng316S but I look fatter than I have the past few days! I just don't get it :/

[Help] Greasy hair and skin fix exchange!
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 119.25lbs | BMI 18.61| Weight Lost: 26.5lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Mar 25 12:43:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bxs2r/greasy_hair_and_skin_fix_exchange/
---
I know, I know, I should remember to take multivitamins and fish oil tablets more but they can only help so much.

So anyone want to share any cosmetics or routines they go through to keep hair from going lank and skin looking all grey and bad?

[Discussion] Nose bleeds from purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 25 12:17:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bxnt5/nose_bleeds_from_purging/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How much water do you guys drink?
/u/kongjinho [5'3" | 147.9 | 26.2 | -9 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 10:25:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bx5wx/how_much_water_do_you_guys_drink/
---
Hi! This is my first post here so I hope I'm doing it right.
Today I've had a lot of easter candy (sometimes I wish I lived alone, I would never buy this stuff!!) and I feel kinda bad but I'm still at a deficit. So the thing I'm worried about is water retention, since I've had a lot of carbs. How much water do you guys drink when you know you've had food that's full of carbs/salt/whatever? Is it possible to completely prevent water retention by drinking a certain amount? Or is this a really stupid question? Thank you!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 25 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bx258/daily_food_diary_march_25_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] I finally downloaded MFP and Plant Nanny
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 09:56:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bx187/i_finally_downloaded_mfp_and_plant_nanny/
---
I finally started really looking at calories instead of just cutting down portions as I have been because I get obsessive over calorie counting really bad, and holy shit have I been overeating in general and cutting down barely puts me at 1200 per day, which I guess is better than the likely 2000 I was eating a day. I've been drinking so much more water too. Just feeling very weird. Also, I was looking through my medical records for shits and giggles and apparently I used to be 181 and now I'm 157. How the fuck did I go up so much without even really noticing or my bf noticing? At least I know now and have the tools to make things better. This community helps so much too.

[Tip] Some low calorie sweets you all might enjoy!
/u/fattygod [164cm | 48.5kg | 18.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 09:06:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bwtjw/some_low_calorie_sweets_you_all_might_enjoy/
---
I found this stuff called "Zevia", it's a non gmo certified, zero calorie soda sweetened with Reb A (stuff from stevia leaves I think), 4g of erythritol per serving, and monk fruit! It's delicious, curbs my sweets cravings, and it's guilt free! You all should try some! Anyone else know of anything similar? Preferably without sucrulose, aspartame, sorbitol, or larger amounts of erythritol?

[Intro] 15lbs left 'til I'm not a giant tub of lard :D
/u/ixxybitsy [5'3 | 146.8 lbs | 26.72 | -36 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 08:36:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bwp48/15lbs_left_til_im_not_a_giant_tub_of_lard_d/
---
Hi guys! I've been lurking around Reddit for a long time, but this is the first time I have made an account. I'm nervous about posting, but here goes:

I've always been a giant lump of fat ever since I was young. We're talking about the baby whale variety of girth here. Last Christmas I decided that I had enough.

I've gone from weighing 185 lbs last Christmas to being currently 152 lbs. Been trying to lose weight the slow, healthy way since I'm seeing the school nutritionist regularly. As time goes by though I find myself counting calories obsessively, purging, and having my mood affected whether I had a "good" or "bad" day in terms of calories.

Recently Holy Week is happening in our country and it's a big deal here; lots of people fast, self-flagellate, etc. during that time and it's normal so I'm using that as an excuse to go master cleansing for two weeks. I make myself a 450 cal pitcher of lemonade each day and some days I don't finish the whole thing. I'm happy with that. :) Wish I could do more but I live with my family and my mother is stay-at-home so she notices things pretty quickly.

ProED has really helped me stay off bingeing. The community feels so warm and accepting, I'm glad I found it. I used the BMI calculator on the sidebar and I'm just 15 lbs away from being a giant tub of lard (overweight BMI) to a slightly smaller tub of lard (normal BMI)! I'm so excited. I started the year obese as per my nutritionist, now I'm still overweight but I'm getting there. And hopefully I can go underweight as well!

My stats:
Female, 20 years old, 5' 3"
HW: 185 lbs
CW: 152 lbs
GW1: 130 lbs
GW2: 110 lbs
GW3: 90-80 lbs, or when I finally get a thigh gap

[Thinspo] It's thinspo FriYAY!!!!! (heh that was funny. LAUGH.) #3 :)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 08:31:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bwofe/its_thinspo_friyay_heh_that_was_funny_laugh_3/
---
http://imgur.com/a/UwMAO

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! March 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 25 06:02:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bw5wg/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_march_25/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for March 25, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Reversespo from family
/u/dryputhy [6'3" |161| 18.9 | M]
Created: Fri Mar 25 03:01:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bvt05/reversespo_from_family/
---
My family is better than any thinspo. I got all my younger brother's shorts because they didn't fit him any more. He said a while back "I don't think I'm (dryputhy's) size [when he was my age]" Not to mention the fact that they constantly graze on food and it shows. My mom got a gastric bypass and she's getting closer to another. She has big bumpy thighs because she gains weight the same way I do.

Does anyone else have similar experiences?

[Help] Weight gain
/u/fuchsiadroplet
Created: Fri Mar 25 01:44:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bvoze/weight_gain/
---
I used to weigh 95 lbs. I feel my best at 95-100 lbs. After I got with my bf I gained a lot of weight, now I'm 120 lbs.
Any body else feel the struggle once they're in a relationship they gain weight? He is lucky he's so skinny at 110 lbs but he eats so much junk and stays the same while I'm always getting food cravings with him. How do you avoid that? :(

[Discussion] Has anyone ever used melatonin to dull hunger?
/u/b7d [5'11 | 165 | 22.21 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 25 00:08:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bvhc8/has_anyone_ever_used_melatonin_to_dull_hunger/
---
I've noticed that whenever I take melatonin (between 5mg-30mg) I immediately loose any overwhelming hunger that I have for 2-3 hours after and I don't really get that sleep especially if it's during the day. Has anyone ever used this method to fight temptations?

[Rant/Rave] My new guiltless pleasure!
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 20:36:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4buuj0/my_new_guiltless_pleasure/
---
OMG you guys!!! I just bought the Blue Bunny Sweet Freedom Fudge Bars. Chocolate ice cream bars made with Splenda. Each bar is only 35 calories. They take a while to eat, and they're individually wrapped, so it's harder to overeat. They taste really, really good. I was so excited, I had to share it with you all!

[Rant/Rave] It's not fair!
/u/SmokeyTheVaper
Created: Thu Mar 24 20:33:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4buu68/its_not_fair/
---
I -was- the thinnest girl at my work (not surprising cause all I work with are fat people) until this new bitch got hired and she is so skinny lile thinapo and hate rolled into one.


I guess I will restrict until ~she~ is jealous of me. 99lbs here I come.

[Discussion] What's on your grocery shopping list?
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 20:16:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4buryp/whats_on_your_grocery_shopping_list/
---
Personally, I'm a HCLF vegan. This is my typical shopping list!



Broccoli


Cauliflower


Mushrooms


Eggplant


Green peppers


Bell peppers


Green chilies


Peaches


Sweet potatoes


Russet potatoes


Garbanzo beans


Black beans


Corn


Brown rice


Red lentils


Blueberries




Grapes


Bananas




Zucchini or squash


Daiya vegan cheese


Almond milk


Hot sauce


I usually have spices on hand as is. Those include oregano, basil, black pepper, red pepper, paprika, sea salt (the master salt imo), chili pepper, tumeric, and sriracha spice.

What's on yours?

[Tip] Just a reminder..
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Thu Mar 24 19:31:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bum84/just_a_reminder/
---
http://i.imgur.com/EpZEm6o.jpg

[Rant/Rave] I fucked up!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 17:57:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bu9nl/i_fucked_up/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Using laxatives (possibly TMI)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 17:27:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bu5j1/using_laxatives_possibly_tmi/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Do any of you guys lift? Please share your tips and routines!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:54:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bu0ri/do_any_of_you_guys_lift_please_share_your_tips/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] DAE get embarrassingly emotional over food?
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 143.4 | 23.68 | -19.6 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:45:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btzb5/dae_get_embarrassingly_emotional_over_food/
---
I mean, Jesus. Sometimes I act crazy. A few months ago, after planning all day to have a low cal tomato soup for dinner, my parents changed their minds and decided to order pizza. I actually went into my room and cried. I mean, they weren't forcing me to eat the pizza, I still could have had the soup, but I was just so worried about pizza even *being* in the house that I freaked out. And now tonight it turns out they're ordering Chinese. I guess I'm just so nervous that I won't have any self control? When did high calorie food become something that I can't even stand to be around because I'm too afraid that I'll binge?

[Help] Have no idea how many calories I can eat to lose weight
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:44:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btz5c/have_no_idea_how_many_calories_i_can_eat_to_lose/
---
I don't trust the BMR calculator that says I can eat over 1200 and maintain, laying in bed...it just doesn't seem right. I've eaten that before, and I think I hoovered around 110 lbs (50 kg). That is so much food..."normal" people can eat that much and not be underweight.


I binge/purge a lot, so it's hard to know how many calories I have been retaining. My weight loss has some to a long plateau...I haven't lost anything this month. From experience, I know that I've hit a point in weight where I seriously need to reduce binging/purging to continue losing weight. I binge/purge so much it is ridiculous...it stops here. I'm not losing weight anymore.


I am making a serious effort to pre-plan meals better and to make it harder for me to b/p. But I feel like I am clueless when it comes to meal planning. I want to make 600 calories my max, but I don't know if that is enough to lose steadily on. I definitely feel like at 1000, all I might do is maintain and even gain.


Help? I think meal planning will give me more structure but I want a "good" number to go by to lose steadily, not too little that I feel compelled to binge, but not so much that I see almost no progress and get discouraged. I want to be under 93 lbs (42 kg) soon, and it won't happen until I exert more self-control.


Edit: good grief, I'm overly sensitive to being downvoted...I apologize for being uncertain about intake. I spend a shit ton of time b/p and I honestly just don't know what I "need" calorie wise.

[Discussion] Freaking Out: Thigh Gaps Not Possible?
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 121.2 lbs | 24.93 | -20.8 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:37:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bty5w/freaking_out_thigh_gaps_not_possible/
---
**Mini rant before I start:** Hey, alright so let me just start off saying that I had a terrible week food wise and even worse day. I binged and purged so much that I honestly can't even see my collar bones anymore :( (not that they were that prominent yet anyway). And I haven't updated my flair yet but I woke up 118.2 and I'm sure it'll be even worse tomorrow.

ANYWAY, I was just freaking out because I saw an article saying that you can only get a thigh gap if you're bowlegged/your knees don't touch from the start. Does anyone know if this is true? Getting a thigh gap is my main weight loss inspo (fuck, I'd even settle for a keyhole gap this week has been so bad).

I'm not even sure if this post makes sense I'm sorta just having a breakdown and desperate. I'll try posting a photo of my legs later so you can all see what I mean.

[Goal] Thanks proED! I finally reached my goal of losing 50lbs!
/u/ThanksProED [6'5 | 190 | 22.53 | 50lbs | Male]
Created: Thu Mar 24 16:14:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btur5/thanks_proed_i_finally_reached_my_goal_of_losing/
---
On Christmas Eve I weighed 240lbs. As of today I weigh 190lbs! Eating 1000 calories a day does wonders! I would have never been able to do it without tips from you guys! Thank you all so much!

[Rant/Rave] Coworker brought in chocolate Easter bunnies for everyone :(
/u/teabaginthewind [171cm | 68.3kg | 23.22 | Goal 63 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 15:36:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btowk/coworker_brought_in_chocolate_easter_bunnies_for/
---
He put one on my keyboard, it's 533kcal, more than my anticipated daily intake. I've already eaten the ears and it isn't 7:30am.

I've been so good at avoiding buying chocolate because I have no self control. A whole week of success has been undone by one kind gesture.

[Help] Newb question
/u/SmokeyTheVaper
Created: Thu Mar 24 15:24:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btmzw/newb_question/
---
Hey all, z
So I am kind of a lurker but you are all so nice and I found a post about someone's first 24 hour fast and I have a question.


So I do a sort of group excercise every week, normally I eat something beforehand, but I am attempting a 24 hour fast. I am also extremely competitive. Will not eating affect my performance?

[Rant/Rave] goddamnit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 15:16:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btlti/goddamnit/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] When you think you are okay
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Thu Mar 24 14:55:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btifi/when_you_think_you_are_okay/
---
When you think you are okay, and then you have a panic attack in a cafe.



My husband took me out for dessert this evening. I made him pork pho for dinner, so a pretty light meal. We aren't noodle fans, so I just put on extra veggies instead of rice vermicelli. I had only had green tea, water, and some of the broth with bean sprouts today and felt great. In my mind, a waffle and a scoop of chocolate ice cream were completely reasonable and well within my caloric budget. I took a seat at the cafe and my husband went to the till to place our order. A few minutes later a waitress comes with a strawberries crepe for him and a waffle for me. Except there was nutella all over my waffle, like someone had had explosive diarrhea all over the top of it. I liked nutella at one point, it's okay, but it's not something I want a lot of. Instead of going back to the counter and correcting my order I had an internal freak out.



My hands started shaking and my heart started pounding. All I could think about was how many calories was in that nutella (I didn't even actually know , but my brain was telling me thousands which I know is unreasonable). Then I started thinking about who orders nutella drenched waffles. I don't order them, do fat girls order them? Did the person taking my order think I'm fat? I shouldn't have even ordered a waffle and ice cream I'll get fat.



My husband realized something was wrong, and started scraping of all the nutella and putting it to the side. He had removed a half cup it seemed, and there was still more. I couldn't eat it, even with the nutella gone I couldn't it. I was saying the phrase "I can't eat it" over and over again. I must have looked insane. I feel insane right now...



We left before he even finished his dessert, I feel awful. Not only did I embarrass him, I made him spend ā‚¬20 on something we didn't even get to eat... I don't know what happened, I've been fine for so long but the nutella just triggered something in me that oily chocolate smell and thick viscous way it was spilled over everything just sent me over some kind of cliff. I don't really know the point of the post I just had to vent some of these weird feelings out

[Discussion] Questions About EC Stacks- I'd Love To Hear Your Experience
/u/paradisedeparted [5'3" | 110 | 20.02 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 14:41:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4btg9h/questions_about_ec_stacks_id_love_to_hear_your/
---
So recently I bought myself some bronkaid and caffeine pills. I took 1 bronkaid and 100 mg caffeine in the morning today, but am wondering how often I should take this to maximize the appetite suppressant qualities, but also not interrupt my sleeping schedule. I know some people redose again, but I was curious as to how long I should wait. Also, is there anything I should avoid on EC stacks, or that I should try in combination? Any general information or experiences would be great to hear about! Thanks in advance you guys!

[Rant/Rave] Too Fat to Donate Plasma
/u/ShitizenSnips [5'9" | 182 | 26.39 | +2 | Neutral]
Created: Thu Mar 24 13:54:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bt8fq/too_fat_to_donate_plasma/
---
My husband went out to donate plasma a few weeks ago, and told me that if he referred someone we'd get $100, so I figured I'd go, because the extra $100 could be spent on Dark Souls III when it comes out in a few weeks and donating to help others is never a bad idea, right?

We get there bright and early, I get all signed in, and they take me back to check my blood and check my veins. Blood check shows I'm good to go, so they get me all set up and start prodding my arm to figure out where they want to stick me. My veins are naturally a bit deep in my arm, but the man sitting next to me was easily 300lb so I am not worried.

Guys, they could not find a single. vein. in. my. arm. The nurse trying to find a good vein gave up after a few minutes and called over another, older nurse to help her, which was horrifying in and of itself, and the older nurse said I had a "nice layer of fat" and the fat layer + the inset nature of my veins meant I was "never going to be a good candidate for plasma donation". Then said, "Don't worry honey, some people just don't have good veins." Yet the room is filled with sketchy people, many of which are overweight and obese. I am worse than a room full of unhealthy people.

I hate myself so much I want to die. I'm so gross and horrible and fat that I can't even help others or my family by donating plasma. I go back and look at my bank statements and if I wouldn't spend so much money on GAINING WEIGHT we'd have more than enough to get by. I made a promise to myself that I will not stop restricting and exercising until I reach my UGW of 130lbs and stop being such an ugly, disgusting, useless waste of space. Since I panic and binge anytime I get into the low 170's I will weigh myself facing away and have my thin friend look at the number and remind me I'm a fat piece of shit that needs to try harder.

If you ever needed a cautionary tale about being a fat shit, here it is. You literally cannot do anything without your gross disgusting fatness getting in the way and ruining everything. Never be fat like me if you can manage it.

[Help] Weight loss before working out?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 12:32:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bsvi3/weight_loss_before_working_out/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Need help, on psych meds and my usual methods of restriction have caused me to gain weight not lose it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 11:57:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bspod/need_help_on_psych_meds_and_my_usual_methods_of/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Let us all pray for my period to come soon
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 24 11:38:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bsmdb/let_us_all_pray_for_my_period_to_come_soon/
---
I'm two weeks late now, bloated, in a terrible mood, full with ugly face demons and ugh, hurry up you mother nature.

[Rant/Rave] Damn you water weight!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 10:42:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bsd4a/damn_you_water_weight/
---
I've been restricting to 500-700 calories a day this week and the scale hasn't budged! I know 100% it's because I've been eating soup for dinner every night (I hate that soup is so low cal but soooo high in sodium) and the sodium is causing me to retain a ton of water weight.

I look and feel much thinner, so I've clearly lost some weight. I'm going to avoid soup today (even though that's the only "dinner" food I have at home) and probably restrict to less than 300 today.

Hopefully tomorrow morning the scale has budged since I'd have consumed less sodium today.

[Discussion] Fruit??
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Thu Mar 24 10:24:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bsa8v/fruit/
---
Ok so.. Do ya'll eat fruit? I love fruit but honestly I can't justify the calories.. Do ya'll consider fruit to be high calorie too? Or am I just a werido lol? Thanks!!!

[Rant/Rave] I'm disgusting...
/u/DivingRightIn [72in | don't ask | don't tell | ~35lbs | UGW: 120lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 10:22:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bs9xl/im_disgusting/
---
I'm sorry for not flairing this I'm on mobile...

I've been having a tough time with binges recently. Gained 10 fucking pounds. Ugh... my therapist told me I'm being ridiculous for crying about it. "10 pounds is nothing for someone as tall as you" he said. Yeah okay.

But on top of that today I went to the store and bought groceries... I ended up driving home and chewing and spitting out and entire bag of popcorn and 4 pieces of banana bread. I feel gross, but still not full. So I guess it's okay. I know I probably absorbed a ton of calories from chewing and spitting but I couldn't stop. I've never chewed and spitted before either so this is just a new horrible habit on top of restricting, binging, and laxatives.

Bleh... I just needed to vent I feel shitty.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 24 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bs6k2/daily_food_diary_march_24_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Tip] PSA: egg whites
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 09:33:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bs1qm/psa_egg_whites/
---
My new favorite secretly low-calorie food: egg whites.

Only 17 calories, with 3.6 grams of protein each! That means you could have a huge plate of eggs for under 100 calories! I'm really excited. I'd been logging my egg whites as whole eggs for months before realizing that removing the yolk saves a whole 55 calories.

[Help] Post purge tips?
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 09:19:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4brzll/post_purge_tips/
---
How can I feel better after I purge/ not want to binge immediately again? My throat is raw and hurts and my face gets all swollen. I was just wondering if people had tips on how to feel better.

[Rant/Rave] I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake
/u/goodbyetumtum [5'5 | 161.2 | 27.14 | -28.8 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 08:18:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4brq62/i_made_an_embarrassingly_stupid_mistake/
---
I am so embarrassed and upset right now! I checked my school's online nutrition facts earlier this morning, and it said a serving of chocolate chip pancakes is only 315 calories. The pancakes they serve are about 5.5 inches in diameter and come in sets of three. I figured I could have this, coffee for lunch, and a small dinner and end up with a great day. Literally as I was taking my last bite, I realized the site meant 315 calories PER pancake. In what fantasy land would a single pancake only be 105 calories anyway??? I feel so so stupid! I'm alone in an empty classroom crying and I look like such a fool. I didn't purge which I guess is something, but I feel like the world's biggest fatass. Like, I don't even deserve to be thin if I'm going to make such embarrassing mistakes.

[Help] Help! How do you say no to food pushers?!
/u/MermaidHeart [5'6" | 127lbs | 21.1 | 16lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Mar 24 07:23:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4brir3/help_how_do_you_say_no_to_food_pushers/
---
I have a friend who sees food as her "life." She gains, I think, like 10lbs a month, and its scary how big she got. I definitely did not want to look like that, so I've been hardcore restricting my calories. The problem is, she equates food to pleasure, and CONSTANTLY pushes food onto me. We go shopping? FOOD BREAK! We go on a walk? PIZZA BREAK! We want to watch TV? Don't even get me started........

She's constantly tryign to sabotage my diet, and if I say no to food, she BEGS and pleads until I eat something.

How do you handle a situation like this? How do you say no without raising alarms?

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 24 06:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4br9hl/weekly_emotional_support_march_24_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] I feel like I post too much, but fuck it, I need to rant
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 05:56:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4br8w3/i_feel_like_i_post_too_much_but_fuck_it_i_need_to/
---
So over the past two or three months, I've been messing around with different levels of restriction or eating normally and working out normally and trying to be normal. My disordered eating has also been brought up in therapy, and one of the things that stuck and made sense to me was that the binging that so plagued me was most likely triggered by the heavy restriction I would do.

And that makes sense.

But fuck that noise. Because you know what? For the past fucking week I've tried to do the "eat 20% fewer calories than your TDEE to lose weight at a sustainable pace", and guess what? Fuck me, I've binged 3 out of the 6 days. And it's been similar any time I've tried to reclaim some sort of healthy relationship with food. It's like the actual act of eating triggers me.

So if I binge just as much, if not even fucking more, when I eat regularly, why the fuck would I eat regularly. This is stupid. I'm so frustrated. Everything sounded like a really good idea, but the difference between restrict/restrict/restrict/binge and normal/normal/binge/normal/binge is that with one you'll either lose weight or stay the same and the other you'll either stay the same or gain. (This is all relevant for me, I know lots of other people for whom the 1500ish works).

I'm just venting, but yeah, I'm done trying to be normal for at least another 5-10 lbs. I'll assess when I break into the 120s

[Help] Faking a weigh-in??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 05:38:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4br790/faking_a_weighin/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Having trouble getting dietary fat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 24 02:40:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqt4y/having_trouble_getting_dietary_fat/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] What is wrong with my head
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | 119.05 | 19.83 | -22 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 01:16:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqn2t/what_is_wrong_with_my_head/
---
This happened yesterday but I was too tired to post.

I didn't eat until about 3pm but I wasn't at home so I had no other option than to go to a restaurant. I was about to faint and knew I had to do something. Ended up going for sushi (where I ate a whole of 3 pieces of veggie sushi) but knowing how bad the rice is and the sauce that they gave me was full of sugar, I started freaking out.

I don't know why I did though because I'd been walking for a solid 5 hours so I figure I was running at deficit any way.

I still felt crap and by 7pm dinner time (veggie stirfry) came and I was really freaking out cos I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. I knew I was vulnerable and wanted to binge. But, I ate and was able to restrict to the best of my abilities.

What's really eating me up is the fact that I still feel like a fat shit even though I know that I probably only ate around 400 cals yesterday and I just want to feel like I did good and that I shouldn't be guilty. All I want is a spoon of peanut butter. Not sure if I deserve it though.

[Rant/Rave] Well, fuck.
/u/beadsofjade [5'4 | nah | 24 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 24 00:09:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqhnj/well_fuck/
---
So, back in November, I quit my shitty job at KFC because both of my managers were horrible and I got sick of being treated like crap. Haven't had an income since then. I had about 5 grand saved up when it happened. Spent 90% of it on weed and vodka because idk, I make bad life choices. I've only got about $600 left. I still live at home so, thankfully, the only regular expense that I have is my car insurance. I'm gonna apply to a bunch of places tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have a job by the end of next week.

I feel like an idiot for waiting this long. But I'm just so terrified of people that it's hard to even leave the house sometimes. But I have to get over it eventually. Right now, I can't afford to waste any of the money I have. So I've decided I'm not gonna spend any money on food, unless it's absolutely necessary.

To be honest with you, I see this as a good thing. I'll save money and lose weight. It's a win/win situation. I really should've started this a long time ago.

[Help] Craving a lot of salt
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Mar 23 23:55:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqgi9/craving_a_lot_of_salt/
---
What's up with this? I'm (hopefully) full of waterweight at the moment, but how do I stop craving it? Stepped on the scale after two 700 cal days (I worked out too) and I'm two pounds up!

[Discussion] Adding Coconut Oil to Rice Can Cut Calories in Half
/u/childshair [5'7 | 107.2 lbs | 16.73 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 23:02:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bqbbm/adding_coconut_oil_to_rice_can_cut_calories_in/
---
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/adding-coconut-oil-to-rice-could-cut-calories-in-half/

[Help] Tips for getting off laxatives (TMI Warning)
/u/ImElectroGirl [5'6"| 49kg | BMI:18 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 21:39:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bq2jv/tips_for_getting_off_laxatives_tmi_warning/
---
I am well aware that laxatives have almost no impact on my weight yet can't seem to stop taking them. It has been about a year. I try to time taking them ~8-10 hours before a potential binge so the binge and the effects sync up and obviously I take more than is recommended. I also take them when I feel stressed and use them as a sort of coping mechanism?

The problem is that when I don't take them I can't *go* on my own at all. I once waited ~11 days before I gave in and used them again just to be able to go.
Any help/advice/alternatives or stories is greatly appreciated.

[Rant/Rave] I'm kind of freaking out
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5| 109 | 20.24 | -23lb | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 21:04:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpy98/im_kind_of_freaking_out/
---
So I was feeling really ill during a lab yesterday and my professor told me I needed to see the health center. Now I'm getting blood work done tomorrow because of it and while I really want to know where I need to be nutrient wise and what I actually need to improve on, I'm scared they are going to know I have disordered eating habits (honestly just restricting and mildish orthorexia, I haven't purged in a while because I'm not really much of a binger at the moment) but that they are going to make me keep a food log or go to counseling and I can't do anything at this point.

On the plus side, I weighed in at 112.6 after eating lunch and drinking a ton of water/tea! I'll update my flair when I can weigh myself on nothing.

[Thinspo] Thinspo
/u/skinnyminilove [5'0" | 108 | 21.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 20:08:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpqr0/thinspo/
---
https://imgur.com/a/cvMx8

[Help] Started going well again, but my body is freaking out today.
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 20:07:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpqjy/started_going_well_again_but_my_body_is_freaking/
---
So I was on spring break last week, which meant being around family a lot and going out to eat frequently. I weighed myself and gained 3 pounds, most of which is water weight (I think at least). So now I'm trying to stick to my plan, and managed to stay under 500 the last two days. Today though, my stomach started feeling awful and I keep feeling dizzy. I've had so much water and am now at 750 calories, but I'm tired and hungry and still feeling odd. Please wish good thoughts my way that I'll stay under 1000.

[Rant/Rave] I fucking hate myself.
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 20:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bppuu/i_fucking_hate_myself/
---
I'm sitting here crying fucking raging at myself. I haven't weighed myself in a month - I knew it would be bad, I've been way over eating. I got complacent and I'm a stress eater, I just got a promotion at work and there's a lot of pressure to prove myself. Well I did it, I weighed in. And I
GAINED.
TEN.
FUCKING.
POUNDS.
WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF.
I'm shaking wondering how much it would hurt to cut the fat off my stomach and thighs.

FUCK. Just end my fucking misery already. I actually don't know what to do. I'm going to be stuck in this cycle forever.

[Rant/Rave] I look like I weigh way more than I actually do
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 23 19:37:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpmdd/i_look_like_i_weigh_way_more_than_i_actually_do/
---
By the numbers, I should be damn near perfect. I stand at 5'1 and weigh 92 pounds. That makes my BMI 18.1.

But I look *huge*. My thighs could crush an empire. My stomach looks like I'm pregnant.

I don't understand. I'm a little underweight but I *look* a little overweight.

It's so frustrating. It seems unfair. I hate it.

**AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH**

[Help] How to deal with dizziness?
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 23 19:26:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpkwe/how_to_deal_with_dizziness/
---
I forgot how dizzy and lightheaded I'd get. That's the only thing about my ED I don't like, honestly.

What are your solutions for it? Does anything help?

[Discussion] Eating 1200/1500kcal - Recovering? Or just a different face of an ED?
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Wed Mar 23 19:22:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bpkcy/eating_12001500kcal_recovering_or_just_a/
---
After a long time of being in a binge/binge/purge pattern, I've recently been able to 1) avoid binging/purging more often and 2) eat a 'healthy' calorie intake of approx. 1200-1500.

For some reason though, I still 'feel' like I'm restricting. Because I'm going through the same motions - setting limits, weighing daily, rigorous eating rituals (such as 30 second between the end of my last bite and taking a new one), weighing food obsessively, refusing to eat foods I can't weigh/calculate the calories, etc.

But I guess I was kind of curious - if I can manage to make 1200/1500 kcal a habit and if I can stop binging/purging - does that mean I have recovered? Or is the obsessive nature of sticking to 1200/1500kcal still a manifestation of my eating disorder? Or maybe it would be considered a transition from an eating disorder to disordered eating?

For context: I have had an eating disorder for around 8 years and prior to that, had disordered eating from an early age.

Thoughts?

[Rant/Rave] So irritated with myself.
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 17:58:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bp8f7/so_irritated_with_myself/
---
I went 200 calories over budget today and I am really annoyed at myself.

I know it may not seem like a lot but it feels huge. I feel so awful.

Stupid fucking cheese.

[Rant/Rave] That's what I get for considering eating more today...
/u/ThroeAwaymeron [5'2" | 121.6 | 23.04 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 17:55:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bp7zl/thats_what_i_get_for_considering_eating_more_today/
---
I don't know what's with me today, but I kind of got it in my head that I'm in better shape, I'm exercising regularly(ish), maybe I should try to up my calories, be healthier...especially since I'll be going home for the summer in a couple months and there's no way I'll be able to sustain my current diet at home. Anyway, this is actually not about that directly, but just ranting about my college dining hall.

How on earth am I ever supposed to plan calories if the online menu seems to just come from someone's imagination and only matches the food being served about 70% of the time?! The part that goes with the above stupidity is, the online menu said they had one of my favorite foods today, which wouldn't put me over my calories for a small portion, so I thought I'd go get some and of course...not there. And you "swipe" your prepaid card at the desk before you can even tell--I wonder how many meals I've used up that consisted of either nothing or a diet soda?

So yeah this is totally meaningless, and I guess actually it's a good thing since it saved me from eating more tonight. But whatever, needed to vent.

[Discussion] On day three of fast, I FEEL AMAZING
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 17:13:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bp1ix/on_day_three_of_fast_i_feel_amazing/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Overachieving since I joined you :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 17:01:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bozo3/overachieving_since_i_joined_you/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Was about to mad binge, but then found a pint of 100 cal vegan icecream, 15 net carbs.
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 16:51:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4boy2m/was_about_to_mad_binge_but_then_found_a_pint_of/
---
https://imgur.com/a/OplKx

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I keep getting old-people diseases in my mid-20's...
/u/SingForMaya [5'2" |108 | bmi19.75 | -16 | F, 24 | GW:87]
Created: Wed Mar 23 16:39:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bow9d/rant_i_keep_getting_oldpeople_diseases_in_my/
---
It started with freaking GOUT at 22. (which is diet related, not genetic; apparently there's a link between ana and gout.)

Then started the osteoporosis and bone loss in my teeth as well at 23.


Now I have freaking shingles at 24. What the hell, body?!?!??

[Rant/Rave] I'm almost happy I got an abscessed tooth this week
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Wed Mar 23 15:29:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bol91/im_almost_happy_i_got_an_abscessed_tooth_this_week/
---
I mean yeah, the pain sucks, and the painkiller they gave me (acetaminophen/codeine) isn't as good as hydrocodone/acetaminophen (Vicodin, Lortab, etc.) but I don't want to look like a junkie and ask for something specific, because if I combine it with ibuprofen my teeth are sensitive but nothing really hurts except sudden movements of my jaw.

On the other hand, it's been the best excuse to avoid eating or drinking. Today's a very important anniversary to me (1 year since I started HRT) and I'm being invited to do things by a lot of people. I have the perfect excuse to say no. They invite me for food? Sorry, teeth are too sensitive to eat much, I'm eating soup at home this week (except I'm not). Invite me for drinks? Sorry, I can't drink while on codeine.

Such a blessing in disguise :)

[Help] Ephedrine in Quebec?
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 14:42:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bodny/ephedrine_in_quebec/
---
Does anyone know where I can get ephedrine in Quebec? Like not online but in an actual store. My credit card is going wonky and won't let me order it online.

[Discussion] What is your go-to snack when you decide to spend your calories on chocolate or salt?
/u/silverdiscipline [2short2beTHISfat | 138.0 | -65 lbs |]
Created: Wed Mar 23 14:28:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bobd0/what_is_your_goto_snack_when_you_decide_to_spend/
---
I tend to eat the same few things over and over again but I swear to god if I eat anymore halo top or sunflower seeds I'm going to drop dead in a fit of boredom.

[Thinspo] Alesya Kafelnikova Album
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 13:47:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bo4k5/alesya_kafelnikova_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/GIWjm

[Rant/Rave] Stupidly excited by my husband's dinner request
/u/thininsp
Created: Wed Mar 23 13:11:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnyi3/stupidly_excited_by_my_husbands_dinner_request/
---
So I'm at the store and I text the husband "what do you want me to pick up for dinner" figuring I'll cook for him and the kids and hopefully make a veggie on the side that I can eat. He texts back "im really craving a big salad". Oh. My. Pineapples. You mean he actually wants a dinner we can all eat together that won't send me spiraling into a panic? Fuck yeah.

[Goal] FUCK YES
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 12:37:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnsxv/fuck_yes/
---
Guys I just got my height taken at the doctor, and I learned that my BMI is under 25- IM NOT OVERWEIGHT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! Now to get to an underweight BMI ;)

[Tip] [Review][Long] HydroxyElite; DMAA
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 12:08:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bno5j/reviewlong_hydroxyelite_dmaa/
---
Hello,

As I enjoy seeing all the happy posts about Bronkaid/Primatene, I thought it might be helpful to post this little review about *my* favorite thermogenic and appetite suppressant: 1,3-dimethylamylamine aka: **DMAA**

*****

First, a history (which if too long, you can skip to the review after the block):

> As you may or may not know, a few years ago--after the final ban of ephedrine-based weight loss supps in the US in 2005--there was a magical pill you could buy called OxyElite Pro.

> The majority of "diet pills" marketed in the mid-2000's relied on caffeine, green tea, and similar ^^basic ^^bitch stimulants to "promote energy and weight loss." OEP was much more effective than these because it coupled the ingredient DMAA with caffeine, resulting in a combination similar to the combination of ephedrine and caffeine.

> As touters of EC stacking know, these sorts of combinations have a noticeable effect on appetite, weight loss and fat loss. OEP was fantastic at eliminating appetite, increasing focus, energy levels and energy expenditure as a thermogenic, as well as acting as a diuretic.

> In the late 2000s I regularly cycled on-and-off OEP to reach my physical goals at that time. And it was very good.

> Then, in 2010, some dummy in New Zealand OD'd on DMAA+caffeine+alcohol. Thus began a gradual, growing suspicion by global health agencies that DMAA was *dangerous.* Subsequently, a growing number of dummies around the world reported liver and heart conditions "caused" by use of dietary supplements. Then in Spring of 2012, another dummy in the US (who had previously diagnosed with an irregular heartbeat) ingested DMAA (not in the form of OEP) and collapsed *after running a marathon*, and OEP's fate was sealed.

> Different national health agencies around the world began locking down on DMAA. Eventually the US followed suit, "banned" DMAA, and scared diet pill manufacturers and distributors into pulling their products from the shelves. For awhile you could still buy "black market" bottles of OEP from various sources like eBay, etc. but the prices increased as the global supply dwindled. Finally, USPLabs destroyed a huge stock of their product and there was virtually no more OEP to be found.

> I personally found it hard to deal, bought some pure DMAA and caffeine anhydrous and spent awhile capping my own pills. It was a dark time.

> Eventually the "ban" on DMAA marketed as dietary supplements was lifted and manufacturers started trying to fill the gaping hole in the market that was left by OEP. There were definitely some iterations on recreating the proprietary formula that made OEP so amazing--some were terrible, others were OK. This review is about one that is better than OK, and closely reminiscent of the White-Top Original-Formula OxyELITE Pro.

*****

This is a review of HydroxyElite by Hi-Tech Pharmaceuticals.

- **What it is:** A weight loss pill and supplement; thermogenic fat burner; energy pill
- **Daily dosage:** The ingredients, linked at the bottom of this post, are summarized as 119.5 mg proprietary blend; 100 mg caffeine. I'd prefer to know the exact amount of DMAA in the "proprietary blend" but can only estimate it to be the typically recommended DMAA dosage, which is between 25 and 60 mg. I can usually only tolerate one capsule per day for the first 5-7 days of the cycle, then can take up to 3 per day as my tolerance builds towards the end of the cycle. I also like to couple each dose with 1 or 2 capsules of fiber (Psyllium husk 0.52 g per capsule) just for complete satiety. This product comes in the form of a [purple-and-white capsule](http://www.pharmacychoice.com/MDX/i/t107811b.jpg) which, unlike Bronkaid/Primatene tablets, cannot be easily split into half dosages. I suppose you could try removing the contents of the capsule, then weigh and divide it for a smaller dosage, but I've never bothered doing that so I can't speak on it one way or another.
- **Pros:** Noticeable effects within an hour of taking a dose. *Completely* kills appetite for about a solid, eight-hour period. Water is very appealing during that time. Steady boost of energy and focus means it's a perfect preworkout. It's effective as a diuretic, causing a quick elimination of water weight upon starting a cycle (who doesn't enjoy seeing "immediate" results?) and helps reduce muscle loss with weight loss (maximizes fat loss). So far no interactions between this and my other meds.
- **Cons:** For the first few days of the cycle, I am more sensitive to the effects of this product. This includes dilated pupils (I'm also on an SSRI) and I have, twice on occasion (and during different cycles), begun to feel nauseous several hours after taking a dose, before abruptly feeling the need to vomit. I've always only puked up water though, and felt immediately better afterwards.
- **Other:** I wouldn't necessarily list this as a con, more of just a general side effect to the way the product works, but it does tend to make you sweat a bit more than usual.
- **Would you recommend to a friend?** Yes
- **Where can you buy it?** Online (US; not sure about other countries). I've personally purchased it from the following vendors:
- [Strong Supplement Shop](http://www.strongsupplementshop.com/)
- [GoldenTrainer Performance](http://shop.goldentrainer.com/Default_V3.aspx)
- [NutriVitaShop](https://www.nutrivitashop.com) (pure)
- **Cost:** About $35 USD per bottle (90 capsules)

Please let me know if you have any questions!

*****

####HydroxyElite by Hi-Tech Pharmaceuticals

- [Ingredients](http://i.imgur.com/kuoXgbk.jpg)

Note: Some versions of the formula include garcinia cambogia, which wasn't originally included. I've had bottles with and without it, and don't personally think it makes a difference to the efficacy of the product.

####OxyELITE Pro by USPLabs (discontinued)

- [Ingredients](http://i.imgur.com/H6fhJ5t.jpg)

[Discussion] I have a DEXA scan scheduled for the 6th :O talk about great motivation!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:51:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnleq/i_have_a_dexa_scan_scheduled_for_the_6th_o_talk/
---
i dont know where i am, and want a "starting point" for my continued weight loss. Anyone else done this?

[Goal] Reached my goal!
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 113| 21.41| F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:10:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bneod/reached_my_goal/
---
I reached 115! I was gonna take a picture of the scale and post, but for some reason when I stepped on again it said 114.8. Not a huge difference, and definitely in my favor, but I don't know, it felt wrong.

My plan now is to just maintain and not binge. I'm not gonna stop myself from eating what I want, it'll just be really small portions.

And when I'm not feeling myself, like will inevitably happen (thanks body dysmorphia), then I'll try for a lower goal. But for now, I'll savor this victory!

I couldn't have done it without this sub! I'll update flair when I can.

[Discussion] Is anyone else worried that they'll end up as an FA?
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:09:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnemx/is_anyone_else_worried_that_theyll_end_up_as_an_fa/
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All of us here clearly accept our ED/disordered eating for what it is, or at least for now we do. Personally I have a thing with severe extremes when it comes to eating, either binging or basically fasting. It seems like it'll be easy to completely flip over to the other side of disordered eating and end up as one of the people on /r/fatlogic, once again accepting my disordered eating as it is being a 300lb #goddess. It's honestly one of my biggest fears and I was wondering if anyone here feels the same way.

[Thinspo] Small album, Tall Girls, Long Waists.
/u/kait989 [178cm | 118lbs | 17.04 | -57lbs| F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:07:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bne8y/small_album_tall_girls_long_waists/
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http://imgur.com/a/obdXO

[Discussion] Is anyone else worried that they'll end up as an FA?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 11:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bne3i/is_anyone_else_worried_that_theyll_end_up_as_an_fa/
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[deleted]

[Intro] Hello.
/u/goodbyetumtum [5'5 | 161.2 | 27.14 | -28.8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 10:54:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bnc57/hello/
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I suppose I'm finally ready to come out of the shadows.

For some quick background, I started showing signs of disordered eating when I was 15. Despite being a pretty decent athlete, I always felt like the fat kid of the bunch. I started mild (healthy) restriction, but soon I became obsessed with counting calories and lowering the number on the scale. My mom of course noticed this and begged me to stop, but she couldn't force me to. At the time, I didn't realize she was also fighting depression until she attempted suicide. I love my mother, so it was really devastating to realize that my self harm likely contributed to her mental decline as well. After that, I forced myself to start binging to gain the weight back. I felt disgusting and I hated myself, but I loved my mom too much to keep hurting her.

Fast forward a few years. My mom is doing far better. She has had the appropriate treatment and is like a whole new person. I'm still fat and unhappy. At the beginning of the new year, one of my roommates called me "the fat friend" which hurt me so badly that I began restricting again. I don't really feel guilty about restricting this time around since my mom is happy again, and now I can finally start doing what makes me happy too. You all seem so sweet and welcoming, and I'm happy to have found your community.

My stats:

Female
21 years old
5' 5''
LW: 99.6,
HW: 190,
CW: 165.6,
GW1: 135,
GW2: 110,
GW3: TBD

[Rant/Rave] I have mirror checked SO MANY TIMES today
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 10:26:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bn7mq/i_have_mirror_checked_so_many_times_today/
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Oh my god. I have been binging pretty bad (in my opinion). I gave myself some freedom , which was stupid, to help cope with no more booze. Somehow, I've still semi lost weight. Im probably just dehydrated. But I'm glad I work from home or I swear I'd probably get fired for how many bathroom breaks I take. I hate my tummy more than anything. Why do I see all these bones and then this wierd shaped stomach? Its so frustrating. Tonight we are having birthday festivities for my bf, so we will see how that goes booze & food wise...Why can I not control this garbage body???

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 23 10:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bn3jz/daily_food_diary_march_23_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Beach day. Today's pics before I get ready. I'm staying in my cover up :'(((
/u/skinnyminilove [5'0" | 108 | 21.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 08:27:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmof8/beach_day_todays_pics_before_i_get_ready_im/
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https://imgur.com/a/xLhUY

[Rant/Rave] Started restricting and period stopped
/u/milky_silky [5'5 1/2 | 115 | 19.2]
Created: Wed Mar 23 08:02:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmkws/started_restricting_and_period_stopped/
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I am one of the many previous anorexics turned bulimics. I got taught how to binge and purge in my recovery centre. Somewhere along the recovery process, my periods came back, as they had been gone for years. Currently, I'm recovering from bulimia and restricting. My period has been fairly regular since it has been back. But on this cycle, it was almost two weeks late - I was convinced I was pregnant, but the numerous tests proved me wrong. Unfortunately my period is back, but it feels so good to think that it had stopped due to my restriction. Hopefully it will stop all together soon. :)

[Tip] Tiny Mug Muffins [recipe]
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 07:20:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmf8m/tiny_mug_muffins_recipe/
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Hi friends!

If you read my food logs you'll know I'm obsessed with protein pancakes. The other day I tried to make a mug muffin with the mix on a whim and oh my god I am obsessed.

I use Kodiak Protein Pancake mix, it's pretty easy to find at Costco or Target.

Recipe:

1/4 cup of kodiak protein pancake mix

1 egg

1/4 cup of water

1/2 tsp of vanilla

cinnamon and nutmeg to taste

5-6 blueberries if you're into blueberries

Whisk it all up in a straight-sided mug. Stick it in the microwave for 3 minutes.

It will rise way up above the top of the mug, but this is fine, don't freak out. When it's done, let it sit for a minute or two, then pop it out of the mug. I cut mine into slices and sprinkle a little cinnamon sugar on it for a little crunch. I like the mouthfeel of the sugar. The texture is a little spongey, I think if you wanted it fluffier you could add a dash of baking powder.

The whole thing comes to 176 calories and is about 20 grams of protein. So delish!



[Rant/Rave] a bittersweet victory
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 06:58:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmcfv/a_bittersweet_victory/
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[deleted]

[Goal] I'm fasting today because of my binges
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 06:50:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bmbek/im_fasting_today_because_of_my_binges/
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I used a caffeine tablet cause for some reason they make me nauseated and I can't eat. I'm glad I can't eat but I feel like I got donkey kicked in the stomach lol

[Help] Sticking points - how to get past them?
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 05:24:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bm2ms/sticking_points_how_to_get_past_them/
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So I got from ~135 down to ~125 no issues in about six weeks (not fast but it went).

Now my weight just hovers around 122 as I binge and fast and binge. It's like there's some sticking point in my mind that won't let me stay on track.

I just need a couple of months binge free.

Have you guys ever gotten stuck at a weight for a month or more?

[Rant/Rave] How has your life been lately? [rant/discussion]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 04:54:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bm013/how_has_your_life_been_lately_rantdiscussion/
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I thought I would post this as a rant as well as an opportunity for ya'll to rant too.

Laxatives and diet coca cola have pretty much been my life lately. I know laxatives can be dangerous, I don't take too many but it gets rid of the food in my stomach. And I find that coca cola is working well as an appetite suppressant from the acidity. unfortunately ephedrine is unavailable where I live so I'll stick to that. I wake up with stomach pains from the laxatives tho.

My family booked a trip to Asia in July and I need to work so hard before then so I'm not fat and sweaty. My "progress" has been so slow lately, but if I'm consistent with my calorie consumption I'll be my UGW by then?? the thought of that seems so foreign.

I've only lost 10 lbs this year, I lost all of my post-exam stress/depression weight but still feel absolutely the same. I can't even look at myself and feel gross walking around school amongst so many pretty girls :||

I haven't been on reddit lately due to a bout of sadness, but came back for the comfort of you all, and I'm interested how you've all been lately. anything good or bad happen that you want to rant about??

[Intro] A very late intro
/u/weightliftingwaif [5'2.5" | 111.8lbs | 20.76| 2lbs]
Created: Wed Mar 23 03:58:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blvh1/a_very_late_intro/
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I'm an on and off lurker. This is my first time posting something other than a comment, and I feel irrationally terrified. I spend an embarrassing amount of time ruminating over conversations, food, weightlifting, food, past failures, and did I mention food?

The first time I dropped a significant amount of weight was when I was 9, and first started having panic attacks. I didn't know what was happening, only that I had no appetite and constantly felt on the verge of throwing up. I also had an abusive parent that hit me when I didn't eat and would make a big show of "checking" my plate several times at dinnertime to see how much I had eaten. Food became gross. I didn't recover from that until I was in my mid-teens, but by then I was so used to being underweight that I felt extremely gross at 100lbs and started skipping breakfast and lunch on purpose. At some point I finally made some friends and got my first part time job and the weight piled back on. My parents got divorced and my mom met another equally disgusting pig my senior year of highschool. This one convinced her to kick me out and I spent a few months bouncing from couch to couch and smoked a lot of cigarettes and occasionally snorted cocaine to fight hunger pangs and dull some of the emotional stress I was under. I got extremely lucky that I didn't become addicted to cocaine, and I quit smoking a few years ago, but it was brutal. Since then, my closest friend and I are no longer speaking to each other, I've gotten divorced, I've moved across country, found real love, and am trying to work out much of my anxiety.

I keep trying to convince myself that I'm a fraud; that I can't possibly have disordered eating or thoughts if I'm "lifting heavy" and eating protein. The truth is, I've been stalled in progress for over a year, and I really only care about the calorie count at the end of the day. I've added in more hard cardio; not because I'm trying to improve my endurance, but because I had 5 days of binging that wrecked the progress I made on my weight. I know I can't have it all. I can't be super small and lift the numbers I want. I'm not small enough yet.

I'm all over the place, and already obsessing over whether I should have written anything, but I appreciate you all reading. I'll be around more.

[Thinspo] Progress/thinspo (?) down to lowest weight and I'm feelin good!!! Would love your thoughts on my progress.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 23 03:08:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blrth/progressthinspo_down_to_lowest_weight_and_im/
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http://imgur.com/a/1wMZM

[Rant/Rave] Really fed up with treatment.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 02:23:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blooo/really_fed_up_with_treatment/
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So now I have been five days at the day hospital and I'm really fed up with all this.

They insist I should start eating carbs. A lot. And empty carbs too, like pasta and rice and stuff.

Yesterday I had a meeting with a nutritionist. She said I have a case of "slight malnutrition". All I could think was "well, that's not so bad, let's get to moderate at the very least".

Lately I have been thinking about starting to eat more, so that I would have more energy to exercise and do school stuff, but now I feel it's pointless. She thinks I should start eating normally by the end of THIS month, anything less "wouldn't make a difference really". Okay then.

And I feel kind of... fat right now. She and others in my treatment team keep saying that if I keep on losing weight, and if I lose a lot more my situation would be alarming. Ok, I know I'm not that thin, I'm just two bmi points underweight, but...Well, I guess I should be happy that they don't think my situation is yet worrisome.

I'm just thinking about giving up alltogether. This feels pointless.




[Tip] 240 cal recipe- vegetarian sloppy joes
/u/faebun [5'6.5 | 116.6lb | 18.45 | 47.3lb | NB]
Created: Wed Mar 23 00:52:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blhs5/240_cal_recipe_vegetarian_sloppy_joes/
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Sometimes I throw shit in a bowl and eat it and it sucks, but sometimes it turns out pretty awesome.

1 morningstar veggie burger patty (170 cal)

1/4 cup pizza sauce (40 cal)

1/4 hot dog bun (30 cal, optional. It's the only bread in the house and I wanted a little something to mop up the sauce with.)

hot sauce

Nuke the patty, shred or cut it up into itty bitty pieces. Mix in the pizza sauce. Add hot sauce, pepper, and any other spices you feel like adding to taste. Use bread to get the last of the sauce, or just use your fingers/dont mop up the sauce if you want to save calories.

This is pretty basic and just kind of thrown together from what I had lying around but it was really filling. Don't skimp on the hot sauce! It adds flavor, it helps boost your metabolism, and if your mouth is on fire there's a 100% chance you'll drink more water. Enjoy!


[Rant/Rave] Im floundering. Im venting and raving at the same time.
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 23 00:34:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blgbb/im_floundering_im_venting_and_raving_at_the_same/
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I am in a weird place. Ive been really good with restriction. The bronkaid... figured that out... been walking with friends and hiking. Havent been lifting more than once a week... but then i got sick and in a stupid tif with my fat sister via snapchat over my thinness... im not even that fucking thin. I wear size 27 pants... theyre not super tight but thats not like... tiny. Im not bony. I dont look remotely fragile or small, i just look like someone that a normal person would consider "not fat". Im not normal, im a perfectionist. Except i cant be perfect. Ive been binging and purging again. I was so close to making it 4wks without. Fuck. But people are commenting. Boss said "you never eat" and people have been saying "you look so good! " but... the binging... and the purging... why cant i keep a handle on it.? Fuck. I ate 25k today, and i couldn't even purge becauze my throat hurts so bad. I'm going to drink my stupid detox tea and try to pass out. Tomorrow i will fast to make up for my calorie average.

[Discussion] Protein/meal replacement shakes?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 23:42:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blbph/proteinmeal_replacement_shakes/
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[deleted]

[Tip] GREAT trick that both relieves anxiety + helps with cravings
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 23:29:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4blae1/great_trick_that_both_relieves_anxiety_helps_with/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I got kicked out of school
/u/useh3rname [4'10| 85| 17.76| -20 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 22:04:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bl1ge/i_got_kicked_out_of_school/
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I'm so upset that I've haven't eaten in 48 hours. yay...

[Help] fasting advice
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 20:44:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bkryj/fasting_advice/
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my roommate had a frozen juice cleanse she decided she didn't want so she gave it to me. i'm planning on doing that all day thursday (they have to defrost, otherwise i'd do it tomorrow) and using the juice day as a stepping stone to my first water fast. is this a good idea? i'm nervous that i won't have the self control to do it.. how do you guys usually get through a fast?

[Rant/Rave] Bleh.......bought new breeches (riding pants) and they're too tight.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 20:01:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bkm3d/blehbought_new_breeches_riding_pants_and_theyre/
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So I went to the horsey store/tack shop to order some competition breeches. They were having a 50% off sale and these breeches I couldn't find in my size online were on sale at the store! In my size! So I bought them!

They're a size 26 (aka size 4) and they're a bit too snug on me :( I mean, when I'd comfortably fit a size 26 I was about 5-10 pounds lighter so it makes sense. Honestly they're only tight around the hips - if I lost 1 inch at my hips they'd be *perfect*.

I was sad that they're tight on me BUT this gives me more motivation to keep on doing what I'm doing. I was *going* to eat 700 calories instead of 500 today but this has given me a good reason NOT to eat the extra 200 calories.

[Help] Purge
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 18:53:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bkcr8/purge/
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I don't typically purge but I did 2x today immediately after eating. Idk how many calories I avoided. Yall have any idea?

[Help] Bought another scale...
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:50:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bk3v3/bought_another_scale/
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I now own three. I have my regular one that I use every morning, and now two others that every now and then I will also use to double check my regular one is accurate...

Am I crazy?!

I miss when feeling empty had such a different effect
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:48:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bk3it/i_miss_when_feeling_empty_had_such_a_different/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] Article Re: the Minnesota Starvation Experiment
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:23:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjzsq/article_re_the_minnesota_starvation_experiment/
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http://www.refinery29.com/minnesota-starvation-experiment?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook

[Discussion] Instead of studying I am going to binge
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:09:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjxtu/instead_of_studying_i_am_going_to_binge/
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Yep you heard right... That girl who promised herself only today to break the binge habit and only have a 200 cal meal and study for my midterm on thursday is going to binge on a bottle of Kim Crawford that her parents bought (the only nice bottle of wine I have had in a year) and on tofu fritatas.

I have already started on the kimmy if you can tell.

...

I hate myself

[Discussion] FitBit Friends!
/u/MaggieAna [5'6 | 22.7 | -12 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 17:01:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjwjk/fitbit_friends/
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Does anyone wanna be my FitBit friend?

It's feeling pretty lonely on there!

It would be fun to have a group with challenges and stuff for those who use them.

EDIT:

I made a ProED group just now!

PM me your email so I can invite you!

If anyone wants to add me directly, I'm meganstokes409@gmail.com


[Discussion] Disordered eating vs. eating disorders
/u/shorty_pie [5'5.5 | 143.4 | 23.68 | -19.6 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 16:30:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjrs4/disordered_eating_vs_eating_disorders/
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I've been thinking a lot about the difference between those two things lately. The one and only time that I've ever discussed my eating issues with somebody was with a friend, who I told that I had anorexia. I guess I used that word because I didn't think that I could explain how "immense" this aspect of my life felt to me without it. If I hear someone say that they have disordered eating, I tend to think more "diet gone a bit too far" or "has issues with portion control" or even just along the lines of eating very unhealthy. So, while I didn't think at the time that I fit the criteria for anorexia, and I still completely don't, I felt it necessary to use the word to convey my meaning.

I know that discussion about the weight criteria and anorexia can get controversial, but I'm not underweight and never have been. I've had "disordered eating" for many years but it has waxed and waned in terms of severity. So...I don't know. Sometimes I look at myself and think "wow you're fucked up, you have an eating disorder" and other times I feel guilty for labeling myself as anorexic, even in my mind, when I don't fit all the criteria and I know that other people are suffering way worse. I'm sure that the whole "being sicker means I matter more" and worries about my issues being laughed at factor into this...I'm not sure where this is going, I guess I was just wanting people's thoughts?

[Rant/Rave] Fasting Diary: Day two (continued)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Mar 22 16:00:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjn2m/fasting_diary_day_two_continued/
---
All I can think about is time. How many hours left until my second day is complete, how many hours it's been, how many days of this my body can endure until i drive myself insane. I keep thinking about going to the kitchen for a snack but I know it wouldn't stop at a snack and i feel any morsel or food would set me back a mile.

I feel obsessed with keeping this going. I am supposed to be studying for a final and all I am doing is trying to wait out the clock until the day is over. I won't eat dinner. I won't eat anything today because I don't want to.

I still feel moderately suicidal. After looking at the scale this morning and not seeing the number budge much I feel defeated and upset and angry. At myself. I got myself here and I am the only one who can drag myself out of this rut.

I had an emotional text conversation with my girlfriend earlier. I told her I feel awful and confessed to having a lot of emotions about putting on a lot of weight and how i feel worthless and she says any extreme things I try are likely to end in failure but I feel like living any more than I absolutely have to as a colossal fat mess is not worth it. I want to drop this weight as fast as I can and i don't care how unhealthy i have to do it. This is why i have resorted to fasting.

I told my girlfriend to lose weight i will not eat any sweets and cut back to two meals a day (should be easy enough to stay under 1000 with two meals) so that when i do eat I can stay at a caloric deficit. When I don't see here I plan on eating little to nothing until i make up my lost ground. I want to back to 160 and as of today that is over 20 pounds away. I feel so fucked.

I am writing another diary in case anyone gives a shit but also because it is giving me some outlet for all of these emotions. I wish i could just eat less and not have gotten myself into this mess. I hate myself so much. I feel worthless. A part of me wishes i could die today and be done with all of this bullshit. I hate myself. I hate my body the most.

[Discussion] when someone asks you a bunch of questions right when the ec stack hits
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:51:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjlpv/when_someone_asks_you_a_bunch_of_questions_right/
---
http://imgur.com/6Vno6DB

[Rant/Rave] I was invited to a friend's wedding today. I am terrified.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:47:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjl6i/i_was_invited_to_a_friends_wedding_today_i_am/
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My friend from high school, who joined the marines and I haven't seen in a year or two, is getting married soon. I was invited, still don't have the physical formal invite so I don't know the date yet.

My first thought is that I'm terrified of looking fat in whatever dress I wear. I have only two dresses that fit me well now: a green one that has a fitted chest but a flow-y skirt, and pink one that is well fitted all the way down to my mid thigh. I could look cute in the green one, but wouldn't be showing off my weightloss much. Or in the pink, I could be stunning and show off my bones and how thin I look. That is, if I even look thin by then. What if I just look huge??

I'm stuck between the contradictory thoughts of not wanting anyone to notice (or potentially worry?) about my weight, and wanting to show off how far I've come. Also I don't know how far off the wedding is. What if I slip up in the time between then and now and end up fat by the wedding? It's such a huge weight on my mind now. (Unintended pun...haha...)

To make it worse I have the flu this week, so I've upped my intake up to help me get over it quicker. When I restrict low cal while sick it always takes me an extra week to get better, so I figured fuck it will eat at 1200, get better, and at least I'm still under maintenance. But now I'm just worried about being too fat for my dresses while feeling fat currently for eating so damn much.

I know it's a wedding and everyone will be focused on the couple, obviously. But I almost never get invited to formal events, so it feels like a big deal to me. Im freaking out a little.

[Goal] Finally hit 150lbs today! First time in my life I've been this toned.
/u/lily_nienna [6'3" | 150lbs | bmi 18.7 | - 10lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:38:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjjtf/finally_hit_150lbs_today_first_time_in_my_life/
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http://imgur.com/TpgnJGO

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Delicate
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:29:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjib7/thinspo_delicate/
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http://i.imgur.com/e8VbntV.jpg

[Rant/Rave] Even though I'm not drinking
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:26:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjhty/even_though_im_not_drinking/
---
I am smoking a bit. I find myself binging on carbs. Binging now isn't as bad as binging while drunk but I'm doing it. Bleh. I had a binge day today! And it was prob 2000. Or more. But fit bit says I burned 1800+. I've been on 2 walks today. And I plan to go on another and not eat anything else today.

[Discussion] Does anyone else use their BMI to see what they'd weigh at different heights?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 15:14:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bjfv1/does_anyone_else_use_their_bmi_to_see_what_theyd/
---
I do and it makes me feel disgusting.

[Help] Being ED with Depression & Borderline Personality Disorder
/u/skinnyminilove [5'0" | 108 | 21.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 14:21:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bj7f0/being_ed_with_depression_borderline_personality/
---
Feeling so discouraged about my body. I am on medication for severe depression and borderline personality disorder that keeps me from loosing weight. I've been single for over a year and feel like no one is going to fall in love with me. I just get used for sex over and over. Every day is a struggle to find a reason to keep living. Right now, getting skinny again is the only thing keeping me going. Is anyone going through a similar experience?
Today's photos: http://imgur.com/a/lnDVA

[Help] Reached a goal... ish.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 12:32:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bipl0/reached_a_goal_ish/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] 20 Things to do Instead of Bingeing
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 12:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4biogg/20_things_to_do_instead_of_bingeing/
---
So, since I'm reducing my calories, I need to remind myself not to binge. Here's a list of shit to do instead of fuck up your goal :)

* Play with a pet
* Do your hair
* Paint your nails
* Look at [thinspo](http://www.myproana.com/uploads/gallery/album_7313/med_gallery_75261_7313_27899.jpg)
* Look at [anti-thinspo](http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/773/632/e77.jpg)
* Make a list of all the things you can wear when you're thin
* Look at old, too-tight clothes and imagine fitting into them
* Chew gum!
* Do some online shopping for outfits that you can wear when you're thin enough
* Binge watch some netflix!
* Read a book
* Go and exercise
* Do your makeup
* Do some yoga
* Call a friend
* Go for a walk
* Find a hobby
* Have a spa day
* Have some [delicious flavored tea](https://eupouria.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/caramel-and-coconut.jpg) with some splenda :3
* POST TO /R/PROED!!!

Luff you guys <3

[Help] Wisdom teeth problems.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 10:55:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bi9dh/wisdom_teeth_problems/
---
Hi everyone! I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. The surgery went well, but now I need to eat food to recover.

I had about 1,400 calories yesterday, mostly from a milkshake and some jello. Today I haven't had anything to eat. I know I should eat to heal, but another part of me wants to take advantage of my nonexistent appetite. Ugh this is so frustrating.

What would you recommend? The rules are liquids only for today, soft foods from tomorrow until a week from tomorrow.

Due to a bunch of reasons, the rest of my family is unable to go to the store, too, so I only have my aunt to pick up things, but I'd rather not bother her if I don't have to. That means I might get a smoothie or another milkshake today, but probably only one. I really don't feel like cooking though.

Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, I'm still on meds.

Love you guys <3

Why are virtual accountability "buddies" not permitted?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 10:02:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bi0ok/why_are_virtual_accountability_buddies_not/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 22 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bi0mp/daily_food_diary_march_22_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Does anyone else love pushing their limits?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 09:45:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhxvk/does_anyone_else_love_pushing_their_limits/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I just hit 130 lbs!!!
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:41:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhnvy/i_just_hit_130_lbs/
---
I'm sure a lot of it is water weight but eeeek!!!! Posting here because I'm so excited and to keep myself accountable!

I'm sure a lot of it is water weight! But I fast every few days and kind of have 2,000 kcal "binges" every 2-3 days.

For reference, I am 5'2. I started about 10 days ago at 136 lbs.

[Discussion] how viral weightloss challenges & social media can both hurt and help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:30:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhm73/how_viral_weightloss_challenges_social_media_can/
---
http://i-d.vice.com/en_us/article/viral-weightloss-challenges-reveal-a-gaping-hole-in-the-body-positivity-movement

[Discussion] Me on a good day
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:08:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhj21/me_on_a_good_day/
---
http://imgur.com/a/bIKl8

[Rant/Rave] Mfw I'm having a good day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:07:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhivt/mfw_im_having_a_good_day/
---
http://imgur.com/a/bIKl8

[Rant/Rave] Fast Diary: day two (the beginning of day two that is.)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Tue Mar 22 08:05:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bhij0/fast_diary_day_two_the_beginning_of_day_two_that/
---
I woke up several times over the course of the night wanting to eat then rushing over to the bathroom scale to make sure i didn't some how gain weight in my sleep. My weight controls me. I feel so weak. I don't even know if i will make it to Thursday at this rate. If I may profrane, I just feel like a worthless sack of shit who should die.

I rolled over in my bed when i woke up to look at this sub on mobile and found some post about skinnier guys being attractive. My heart sank. I want to be one of them but i don't think I will ever be. I want people to be jealous of me but at the rate I am just the fat friend.

Starving is the only thing that makes sense. fasting that is. After a whole day plus the night my weight hasn't changed at all and I feel constipated (tmi) and it sucks. I feel like I am retaining a lot of weight. I hate my body so much. I could go back to cutting if i didn't think my girlfriend would see the scars or scrapes at some point. I just feel an intense distrust and hatered for my body. It is the reason I am like this. It is weak and as a result so am I.

It is for this reason I have chosen to suffer. I want my body to know what it's like to be pushed to the edge without food. I want it to know what I am capable of when it doesn't behave the way I want it to. Every stomach growl is a cry for mercy and I will ignore them and continue on. I will make it through today.



[Rant/Rave] Let my mom make breakfast for me, found out she added 960 CALORIES WORTH OF CHEESE
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 141 lbs | -10 | GW 115 | 22.76 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 06:48:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bh8ny/let_my_mom_make_breakfast_for_me_found_out_she/
---
I finally got down to the mid 130's recently after an episode of depression + weight gain in the winter, but then my mom offered to make me breakfast a few times this week. She's been making cheese quesadillas and I decided to passively watch while we chatted in the kitchen today. My mom's a bit overweight so she eats pretty liberally, but she put in like 2 cups of that lucrene cheese this whole time which I found out in MFP was 900 FUCKING CALORIES. Sure enough, I weigh myself that afternoon (I hadn't in a week) and I'm back up to 140. I'm not mad because she didn't know, nonetheless know that I'm back to practicing my ED, but I'm mad at myself for being so careless.


Welp, back to cherry tomatoes, blueberries and raspberries all day. Never letting anyone cook for me ever again :)))) Fiber city, here I come.

[Rant/Rave] Getting respect from skinny girls
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 06:31:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bh6pn/getting_respect_from_skinny_girls/
---
We all know those people. The incredibly pretty ones, the tiny skinny ones, the ones who know they're better than you, but are nice about it so its hard to even hate them.

There was one of those who was a regular at my store when I worked at Starbucks. She is gorgeous, petite, skinny, and knows all of those things make her superior, but she was always super nice so I really couldn't justify classifying her as a bitch.

Today I stopped by my old store for an americano and a chat with my former coworkers and she was there. She stood up to give me a hug, got a good look at me and said, "wow, hun, you are looking good." It was subtle, not like she was assessing my value or judging me, but rather like a simple statement of recognition from one skinny girl to another.

Fucking made my day.

(That and the fact that the scale finally dropped another 1.5 lbs this morning. Anyone else have that thing where the scale won't budge for a solid 9 days and then suddenly drops all at once even though you haven't had a BM or anything?)

[Goal] I did it! My first 24 hour 0 calorie fast!!!
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 160 | 24.3 | 14 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 22 06:19:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bh5fc/i_did_it_my_first_24_hour_0_calorie_fast/
---
I usually end up drinking something or chewing gum just to keep me going, but I finally did a true fast! I had a double shift at work, which made it a whole lot easier.
I know I shouldn't really feel proud of myself, (hooray look how unstable I am!) but I do really feel proud of myself and just wanted to share :)

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A March 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 22 06:02:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bh3ms/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_march_22_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] if you could eat anything.. in any amount... with no consequences
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 23:00:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bg3ph/if_you_could_eat_anything_in_any_amount_with_no/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Don't eat your feelings, starve them
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Mar 21 22:09:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfyc3/dont_eat_your_feelings_starve_them/
---
Channel the pain you're feeling into the pain in your stomach. I used to eat all my feelings. But inevitably when the food was gone, the feelings came out to play. Binging only delayed the inevitable. Now when I'm anxious or sad or feeling like a piece of shit, I starve instead. Instead of running from the pain, I sink into it and come out on the other side lighter. One form of self harm to another I guess. But at least this one gets me closer to my goals.

[Help] Hair growth pills and purging
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Mon Mar 21 22:08:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfy79/hair_growth_pills_and_purging/
---
So long story short I recently got out of an absusive home and one of the things my abusers did was chop off my waist length hair to my chin. I got these supplements called HairTru that say they'll make it grow around 1-2 inches per month. That would be perfect because then when I start going to real school again in August it would be back to its old length so I'd feel pretty again.

But my question is...If I take these pills around noon can I still binge and purge at night? Or would that make them not work? Do you think if I do around 9 or 10 pm, 8 or 9 hours later, that purging would get rid of the pills? Because I really need them to work, I don't want my purging to get rid of them.

Has anyone had a similar situation like with the supplements? What do you think?

[Rant/Rave] Today was really good!
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 22:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfxkf/today_was_really_good/
---
I had 500 calories today. This is my first time restricting since probably August or September so I'm glad it went well. What helped me the most was eating 4 times today, drinking **lots** of water and having a cup of tea after dinner. I don't feel hungry or tired, nor do I have any cravings.

I went to the supermarket and bought tons of low cal/safe foods for me to eat for the rest of the week.

I was pretty sedentary today so we'll see how tomorrow goes since I plan on riding my horse and going to the gym afterwards.

Hope you're all well!

[Help] Moving and why it is a disaster
/u/whenigettomoab [5'5" | 121.4 | 20.44 EWWWW | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 21:21:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfskc/moving_and_why_it_is_a_disaster/
---
So I am really excited to be moving and starting a new job, and to live on my own and all that, but the actual process of it has been horrific.

For starters, I had a huge going away party. It was wonderful, so many people came to say goodbye to me that I didn't expect, I got some very touching gifts. But with the party came a lot of binge food, and a lot of alcohol. More specifically beer. I love beer, but usually when I have it I carefully budget it. For the party though, we had a keg, and we FINISHED IT. I drank a seriously ungodly amount of beer and got fat from that.

On top of that, apparently everyone I've ever met who wasn't able to make it to the party likes me well enough that they wanted to go for a drink/bar food a different night. So all my free time has been spent drinking loads and eating crappy food. Cue getting more fat.

Now today is the big day! I've been moving all day (from one state to a neighboring one), with the help of my lovely mother. But you know what hanging out with my mom all day means? Eating out at restaurants for every meal. And thus getting more fat.

Additionally, because I am waiting on buying things so I can avoid sales tax, and had to order some things online, I don't have a scale yet! And I don't know yet when I will! So I actually have no idea when I will be able to know what the damage is and get that visual motivation to get it under control.

I keep just trying to remind myself how much more I'll be able to restrict once I am living alone instead of with my parents, and how great my new career will be. But seriously I am so miserable from the process itself. I could really use some support for getting through the rest of this and getting myself back on track :/

[Rant/Rave] [rant/rave] Anybody else only attracted to very thin people?
/u/pretentiousintrovert
Created: Mon Mar 21 20:42:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfnko/rantrave_anybody_else_only_attracted_to_very_thin/
---
I didn't realize until pretty recently that I prefer way skinnier guys than most girls! It definitely has something to do with my food obsession...

[Discussion] [Discussion] Article on the ever changing BMI standards in the fashion industry, quite interesting
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 114 | BMI 17 | -11 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 20:29:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bflsn/discussion_article_on_the_ever_changing_bmi/
---
http://i-d.vice.com/en_au/article/the-bmi-debate-how-do-you-measure-the-health-of-models?utm_source=idfbanz

[Rant/Rave] broke my fast and binged today :/
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 20:26:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfldd/broke_my_fast_and_binged_today/
---
but tomorrow i'm getting back on track and fasting for a week. i can't believe i let myself lose control again, i didn't even need to eat. i will succeed this time though, i have to.

[Rant/Rave] DAE feel the same even after significant weight loss?
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Mon Mar 21 20:01:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bfhzu/dae_feel_the_same_even_after_significant_weight/
---
In mid 2014 I was at my HW of 185 lbs . I ended the year at 170 lbs. I ended 2015 at 168 after dropping to 158 in September. Huge failure but a good kick in the butt.

I'm down to 148 lbs and I feel like I'm still 170 when I look at myself. My clothes tell me I'm smaller, but I still see the same rolls and cellulite and jiggle from when I was 20 lbs heavier. I really don't see anything different. My stomach is huge, my thighs are the width of every seat I sit in, my arms have that bat wing at the bottom. I can pinch a solid inch on my ribs of fat.

I want to see progress but I just dont. Maybe in 30lbs lost I will feel better? I just want to see some changes in the mirror or when I look down. It all looks the same still.

[Help] My binge recovery plan-- will it work?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 19:40:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bff44/my_binge_recovery_plan_will_it_work/
---
[deleted]

[Help] FUCKIN HELP PLEASE
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 17:55:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bf0du/fuckin_help_please/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Fasting Diary: Day one.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Mon Mar 21 17:36:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bexlk/fasting_diary_day_one/
---
First off to preface this I hope this isn't against the rules I am still unsure of what things are permissible or where the line falls and what is over and within the lines so if this isn't allowed I am ok with it being taken down. I just wanted to create a public dialogue while fasting.

It has been almost 24 hours since I last ate. I was so disgusted with myself after stuffing my face with Pizza last night (I had four small slices of pizza from this local place in Seattle.) before that I had a binge so the pizza was on top of the binge. My binge in order consisted of the remains of some veggie yakisoba (800 calories according to my girlfriends guess), a protein bar (30g of protein and 290 calories, a small cupcake (probably 300 calories) and three small pb and j sandwhiches (300 each so 900). Adding all that up to a total of 2300 about and then adding pizza on top of it. It must have been over 3500 calories. I feel so sick thinking about it. I need to learn how to not royally fuck myself like i tend to do.

Looking back I feel more comfortable the farther I am from this last binge. I have decided to try and go til the end of the week (friday) starting today (monday) and want to log my thoughts every day if I can. I am brain storming other ways to keep my cravings and binge thoughts at bay. I lost almost 10 pounds on my last long fat which was about 5 days I feel like I can come close or at least empty myself out. I am drinking diet soda sparingly and allowing myself coffee and water. That will be all. If i have the energy I will go to the gym and lift and do cardio.

Right now with the day almost complete I feel anxious. I want to eat but know I shouldn't I can't be trusted around food. I ballooned up to 180lbs from 160 because I can't keep control of myself and the thought of being in control feels unimaginable. I am trying to envision what good eating days could look like. I was day dreaming earlier while studying for finals about what skinny me would eat.

breakfast: a small bowl of oatmeal, a banana, an apple or half a protein bar. not all of this but one of these things. no more than 200 calories for breakfast.

maybe a piece of fruit or some carrots, celery or a bag of spinach for a snack but never a snack more than 100 calories because a snack shouldn't be a meal or require any preperation.

lunch may be half of a serving from some take out restaurant like a burrito or half a sandwich ( no more than 300 calories) maybe a piece of fruit on occasion if the main entree is smaller still no more than 300 calories.

maybe another snack here or there if i feel like it or a sweet craving of no more than 100 calories.

dinner no more than 300 calories at best 250 some how.

I can't imagine what these hypothetical meals look like. I dream of eating like a ballerina or like a model. what the fuck do models do to be so skinny. I watch a show weekly that has the most beautiful models and they also look so waify and thin and beautiful. I want to look like a male model like one of saint laurent's or something of the like but it's tough to imagine getting that low. My dream is to be as close to 120 pounds as I can but I am making baby steps.

Thank you anyone who had the patience or care to read this. Send me positive vibes or thoughts. I have no idea how to get to where I want to be from where I am. I feel hopeless and lost. I would go to the end of the earth to be thin but I can barely control myself for a day or two. I am sick.

[Intro] An embarrassed and long hello
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 16:15:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bel6j/an_embarrassed_and_long_hello/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I'm trying to find sustainability
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 15:32:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4beeaj/im_trying_to_find_sustainability/
---
I can fast for two or so days, but then I go back to eating, and to be honest, I actually don't tend to binge when I go back. The cycle isn't super strong for me. But for the following days, it's like a snowball. As in (monday)fast, (tuesday)fast, (wednesday)1200, (thursday)1000, (friday)1500, (saturday)1900, (sunday)2700, (monday)4500+. and then I start it all over again. Clearly that's slow weight loss. But when I'm not caught up in that, I try for 600-1000, which as a 5'7" young woman, it seems as though that should be possible and sustainable. I don't understand why I can't be consistent. Has this happened for any of you? How do you deal with it? For those who maintain higher restrictions with fewer binges, what's your secret? Have you always been able to do that? How did you work to it?

[Rant/Rave] So this would be my third day of fasting if I hadn't eaten a veggie wrap
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 15:26:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bedbf/so_this_would_be_my_third_day_of_fasting_if_i/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] What you eat in private you wear in public
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 15:17:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bec0d/thinspo_what_you_eat_in_private_you_wear_in_public/
---
http://imgur.com/a/OlYhs

[Rant/Rave] I seriously think i was done with this place. Apparently, life has other plans.
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 120.4 lbs | 22.02 | -4 lbs lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 14:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4be7q2/i_seriously_think_i_was_done_with_this_place/
---
Just here to vent since i have no body. I recently got into a new relationship with this amazing guy that has never, ever said anything to make me feel insecure. We've only been together for one week but we dated for two months and talk every night for 2-4 hours. I know, seems like we're rushing but i think he's the one.

Ever since meeting him, i stopped being obsessed with food and weight loss. He takes me out to eat he says I'm perfect and he loves my curves. I'm 5'2'' and I am 123 lbs. Well since I've been feeling super confident with him and in general, i decided to show him some pictures of when i was thin, around 107 lbs. I seriously thought that he wasn't going to like it. Especially since he doesn't date his own race (asian) because he thought the girls are way too thin so he'd date hispanic or black. Was I fucking wrong...he got turned on and said i *looked amazing. I laughed and tried to not show him how that hurt my feelings.

Anyway, I just want to say that I'm back and I'm ready to do this shit 100% nothing will fucking stop me this time. My worst fear right now is that i think i may be pregnant. I was excited about the idea but now, it's probably the worst thing that could happen to me. Anyway, I'm on my way to the store for some diet cokes and cigarettes. I'll probably buy a pregnancy test also. Good to be back i guess.

[Rant/Rave] Fucking kill me
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 21 14:19:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4be2i3/fucking_kill_me/
---
I hope my period strikes soon cause I'm binging ON EVERYTHING for the past three days. Oh my god, it's almost here I know that but I'm hating myself. I was so close and I want to restrict again.

[Rant/Rave] Ready to see the scale again
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Mon Mar 21 12:45:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bdmiw/ready_to_see_the_scale_again/
---
It's been a fucked two months but I'm going to check when I get home. Hurrrrr

[Rant/Rave] The Pig strikes again
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 12:19:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bdi05/the_pig_strikes_again/
---
I bought 40 dollars worth of binge food yesterday, and I ate it all. Two cookie dough packages, two pizzas, a gallon of ice cream, 12 protein bars, and a box of cookies. Even after a week of binging. I haven't slept and I haven't gotten any of my schoolwork done because of my fucking binging. My stomach is still in pain and my entire body has bloated out. I keep binging and binging and I'm just so sick and tired of it all. I've been stuck in this vicious cycle for nearly two years now. I am so, so done. But I can't escape no matter what I try. I want to be clean and perfect again. I want to be 80lbs again.

Fat chance of that happening.

My cousin is now around my lw so I feel like shit for being the fat cousin. I'm ashamed to exist, let alone go out in public.

I'm just so sick of myself. My life has been thrown into chaos. I'm utterly disorganized, my hygiene is poor, my school life is suffering severely, and I can't stop fucking binging. Fuck me.

[Intro] Hello hello
/u/lesscush4smoosh [5'9" | 168.8 | 24.48 | -6.2 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 11:56:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bddxp/hello_hello/
---
Quick intro: 24 years old, 12 years of ED (anorexia, brief period of recovery, then bulimia), inpatient for bulimia and "complex PTSD" (whatever that means) about 3 years ago. I am now at my all-time highest weight. I've been flip flopping between restricting and binging the past year and am back in a restricting cycle, initially unintentionally but since realizing my double chin find it challenging to eat many old binge foods.

I have lurked on and off the past year and have resisted becoming an active member of this sub because i was ashamed to have a flair bearing my weight like black mark. Seeing as i hope the digits dwindle i am finally here. I appreciate you all sharing as you do!

[Help] Don't know how to get over my fear of "heavy" foods. Help?
/u/fiddlydiddly [5'4 | 132 lbs | 23.2 | -108 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 11:24:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bd8di/dont_know_how_to_get_over_my_fear_of_heavy_foods/
---
I find myself occasionally opting to eat a single small piece of chocolate instead of a salad for the same amount of calories simply because of the size. Something about my stomach being that full of food makes me uncomfortable and I don't know how to get over it because I know it's not logical. It especially annoys me because I know how much healthier the greens would be for me than the chocolate, but I feel much more comfortable with the latter. :/


Does anybody else have this problem? How do I get this silly logic from my head?

[Goal] So I'm finally gonna cut back on drinking
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 11:22:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bd80b/so_im_finally_gonna_cut_back_on_drinking/
---
It's going to be hard. I'm not doing it for me, but my motivation is partly the weightloss that will occur. I'm hopeful, but also an addict. We'll see. Thank you guys for always being so supportive with all my rants and raves!!! <3

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 21 10:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bcuv3/daily_food_diary_march_21_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] DAE get anxiety when there's a lot of food in your house?
/u/Thepuginpink
Created: Mon Mar 21 08:31:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bch8n/dae_get_anxiety_when_theres_a_lot_of_food_in_your/
---
Like I have my own apartment and sometimes my mom will take me grocery shopping and get a lot of food. I don't get food I'll binge on but just the fact that there's so much food in my apartment makes me anxious. Does anyone else do this or am I just weird?

[Rant/Rave] Huge KFC B/P Session :'(
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Mon Mar 21 06:40:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bc320/huge_kfc_bp_session/
---
To sum it up, I ate 2706 calories in 16.5 MINUTES! :'(

I walked into the shopping centre with the intention of getting a juice and salad, and ended up binging on greasy junk food and purging in the bathroom. I feel so dirty and yuck. And I felt like my stomach and head were going to explode simultaneously. I feel so drained and ill and unhealthy. I wish I could pinpoint some deep trigger, but I feel like I'm just a weakling making excuses for herself. I binged because the fast food tempted me and I didn't fight the urge hard enough.

I just needed to vent this. Hopin' to do better tomorrow...



[Discussion] Has anyone used this trick to cut rice calories? All I eat is rice but coconut oil scares me.
/u/zealpeal [5'9'' | 137 | 20.2 | none in some time | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 06:12:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bc04l/has_anyone_used_this_trick_to_cut_rice_calories/
---
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/03/25/scientists-have-figured-out-a-simple-way-to-cook-rice-that-dramatically-cuts-the-calories/

[Intro] Call Me Dollz
/u/d-ollz [5'8 | 262.6lbs | 39.3 | -7.3lbs | F |]
Created: Mon Mar 21 06:04:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbzdk/call_me_dollz/
---
Hi everyone,

New to this sub, but not new to... well, this.

I'm 23 and Australian. I developed an eating disorder when I was 16 years old. Currently, my eating shifts from day to day between BED patterns and bulimic patterns. I also have gone through restrictive EDNOS periods and one big attempt at recovery (hosp./psych.)

I am currently obese. It's difficult to tolerate. It invokes so many different emotions. Life feels like hell a lot of the time. When I leave the house, I feel so ashamed - like I am taking up too much space; like everyone is seeing me, and thinking the same thing. When I look in the mirror, I feel very embarrassed to exist: I often wish I didn't. I feel anger, frustration and regret over my weight gain. I feel sadness because I feel like my life will be forever on pause due to me being too ashamed to live it. I think my family (particularly, my father) think I am a disappointment because I am overweight. I sometimes think my friends are embarrassed to be seen with me. On the internet, I see various groups and conversation dedicated to hating and making fun of people who are my size; they say nasty things, and I wonder if a lot of people see me and think those things too. When people comment on my 'style' I want to tell them that I don't like any of the clothes I wear - they are just the only clothes I could find that fit me... I would dress differently if I could. Living with oneself is difficult when one likes themselves so little. I'm tired of this existence... but that's my story right now.

On a lighter note: I am currently a full-time student. I love cats, video games, reading and a bunch of other things. I'm pretty friendly, and I'm excited to be a part of this community.

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! March 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 21 06:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbz32/weekly_stats_update_march_21_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 21, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] It's Monday! That means a whole new day and a whole new week. Remind yourself why you're doing this. You will accomplish your goals <3
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 05:56:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbyin/its_monday_that_means_a_whole_new_day_and_a_whole/
---
http://imgur.com/a/bSFc2

[Intro] Glad I found you guys.
/u/kaaatmeow
Created: Mon Mar 21 05:24:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbvr7/glad_i_found_you_guys/
---
I'm currently on mobile and will update my flair when I get home. I just needed to post.

I've posted one other time for support, but I kept eating a healthy amount due to breastfeeding to make it work. I was underweight before I got pregnant. Then through pregnancy, pre eclampsia, and 20 weeks of bed rest, I ballooned up to my highest weight ever. Breastfeeding was really important to me so I ate a healthy amount to keep my supply up, and tried to lose weight healthily. I wanted my son to have everything I could give him.
We had a lot of problems with breastfeeding, but I did everything in my power to make it work for 6 MO. I turned my obsession into making it work until a year. He has his own personality, and I won't go into the details, but he just hates it.

So that broke my heart basically and now I'm left with just me. This fat blob. I'm getting married May 28 and can't believe what size I had to order. I lost 15 lb since the beginning of march, so that's something. But I'm just at a loss. I made a promise not to go back. I'm still a really good mom, I'm still really good in school, I do everything I need to do. But my confidence has plummetted, and now I'm back. I feel like such a liar. It like all the thoughts have come racing back 10x as worse.

I guess this is my intro. Thanks for being here guys. I've been lurking, but I guess there is no one else I could tell without them thinking I'm a bad mom.

[Discussion] Gimmicks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 21 02:32:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bbhzp/gimmicks/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] My fucking stomach (rant)
/u/pineapplesandham [5'3 | 96.5 lbs | 17.6 | -10 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 00:40:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bb9a3/my_fucking_stomach_rant/
---
I hate my belly fat. It won't fuck off. I think it's gotten smaller since I started, but it's definitely still there. Also, after I eat anything my stomach area gets swollen and big, probably because my ribcage is huge and it just fills it.


Fuck. I wish I were one of those girls with slender waists and small ribcages :/

[Tip] Laxatives don't help you lose weight!
/u/useh3rname [4'10| 85| 17.76| -20 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 21 00:04:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bb61y/laxatives_dont_help_you_lose_weight/
---
The amount of diet posts on this subreddit involving laxatives is honestly concerning. They do nothing to help you lose weight; it's a myth. The only affect they have is on the large intestine whose primary function is re-absorbing water from feces, so that means by the time food even reaches the large intestine all of the calories and nutrients have been absorbed already. It has no impact on the amount of calories that you consume. The only thing you're losing when using laxatives is water.

Laxative abuse is incredibly dangerous and over time it actually causes damage to the colon as it adjusts to the laxatives so more and more are needed to have the same effect. This also impacts the health of the smooth muscle walls of the large intestine and they can become stretched and lead to other digestive dysfunction such as irritable bowel syndrome.

You might feel thin afterwards but, trust me, they don't work.

[Rant/Rave] Liquid "fasting" tomorrow.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 23:56:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bb5aj/liquid_fasting_tomorrow/
---
I just got back from dropping my cousin off at the airport. She arrived Friday morning. She's a major foodie and I live in Vegas so naturally she wanted to eat out *all* the time. Seriously, we ate at restaurants for 2 meals **everyday**. She paid for everything, which was nice, but I feel so disgusting and huge!

Anyways, I'm on spring break for the next week and I've decided to do low cal restricting (300-500 cals/day) compared to the high cal restricting (600-800) I do when I have school.

I haven't done low cal restricting for a while so it'll take some getting used to. So tomorrow, I plan on having protein shakes (150 cal each) in place of meals. 120 for the powder and 30 for a cup of almond milk to mix with. Oh, and a cup of coffee with a bit of cream in the morning. That'll be a little less than 500 calories in total for tomorrow. I don't really consider this to be a fast since my liquid calories are *so* high.

My goal is to be 5 pounds lighter a week from now, which I think is reasonable considering in the past I'd typically lose 3 pounds every 2 days of eating 500 calories. Weight loss will definitely slow down when I get back to school but at least I'm getting a good start over break.

I have absolutely nothing scheduled for tomorrow so I intend on sleeping in, running a few errands, going food shopping for low cal items to eat this week, doing some serious spring cleaning and overall just having 1 nice day to myself. Taking a long bath, giving myself a pedicure, etc. I haven't slept in even one morning since the semester started in January. I'm so happy to be on break.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend!

[Discussion] A friend just sent me this weird treatment for bulimia
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 22:10:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bausz/a_friend_just_sent_me_this_weird_treatment_for/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Longest you've gone fasting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 20:34:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bajfb/longest_youve_gone_fasting/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Drink enough water!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 20:09:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bagck/drink_enough_water/
---
I never realized how important this was until the last few days.

I've been using the plant nanny app to track my water intake, and has changed how much I eat drastically! In the app, you get a cute plant to water, and as you meet your intake goals, it grows! Now I find that I'm not eating as much or as often because I'm trying to catch up on water. I strongly recommend trying it out and seeing what you think!

[Rant/Rave] "Too skinny, lotophagi!" As if. Rant.
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 20:03:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bafj7/too_skinny_lotophagi_as_if_rant/
---
I am very angry and am going to rage for a minute. Im also on mobile, so no flair and sorry for the wall of text.


I have been trying so hard to be good and stay around 1100 cal a day, with some days even at 600 to 700 in the mix. I havent purged in a while. I think maybe i did once since i posted i would stop and start restricting. Ive lost some weight... and apparently its noticeable. I wore a form fitting dress last night and actually felt almost confident enough to not wear tights AND initiate sex with my bf. Bloody fucking confidence is returning finally. Then i woke up hungover... and i ate a massive meal and skipped all my medications and stacks. And i put on tights and noticed that my thigh gap was returning. As in... like the light at the top is noticeably wide and there is now a sliver of light coming through between my knees...


So i snapchatted it proudly to my friends and sisters. Like, ive been busting my ass in mostly healthy ways and not binging as much and not purging, and not really restricting as consistently as i have in my past. Im still thick in my legs and i have noticeable fat in my arms and lower back... i dont look fragile at all. Whats the first snap reply i get?! "Too skinny, lotophagi!" It begins already. Fuck this i want to lose at least 10more lbs. I dont want to deal with their comments... i want to be confident and happy like i was last night. I want to be proud of my progress. I want them to shut the fuck up. The one who replied first is fat anyways... like.. beer drinking frat party fat... freshman 25 on that one. Fuck no i dont think she's a decent judge of my body. Fuck that.

So now im depressed. And im binging. Just... not gonna log today in MFP because we are talking probs about 3500 calories. No joke. Im gonna throw up half of it anyways, lets be real. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Thank you for existing, my proed lovelies... nobody in the non-ed world understands, despite where we are in our cycles or our recoveries, or on or off wagons, i know that we "get it" ā™”

Besides, at my height i can lose at least 10lbs and still be "healthy" so fuck the haters.

Fuck.

[Rant/Rave] After ~4 months I'm back. I super fucked up, and I'm back where I started.
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 59kg (130lbs) | 19.9 | -0kg | F | 20yo]
Created: Sun Mar 20 19:40:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4bacln/after_4_months_im_back_i_super_fucked_up_and_im/
---
When I left you guys I was 48kgs, with a BMI of 16.2. My boyfriend came back from overseas and everything had begun to unravel. I couldn't log my calories as often, I couldn't visit this sub at all and I didn't have a scale or even a measuring tape any more. I also stopped caring, and I ate and ate and ate, everything I'd been craving for the past two months and more. I ate even though I was painfully full. I'm now 59kgs and my BMI is 19.9. It will take months to undo the damage that I've done. I feel disgusting.

[Goal] I am so tired of being fucking disgusting
/u/ffj_ [5'4" | way too much | ridiculous | - | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 19:33:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4babq6/i_am_so_tired_of_being_fucking_disgusting/
---
Starting tomorrow I am going to go on a liquid diet. The only things I will be allowed to have are water, tea, coffee (I work and don't sleep much),and laxatives. I will do this for 30 days to see how small I can get. Then, for the next 30 days, I will be vegan, then back to the liquid diet. I have always wanted to be slim and pretty and I really think this will work out for me, I just have to resist cravings. Honestly, it will be easier than when I have tried before, since there is barely food in our house, but working in fast food will make it hard. I want to lose a lot of weight before I go off to college, wish me luck. :)

[Rant/Rave] i'm disgusting and have no self control
/u/throw38928away
Created: Sun Mar 20 18:07:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ba080/im_disgusting_and_have_no_self_control/
---
today was supposed to be the 4th day of a fast but instead i've been bingeing like crazy for the last 3 days. i'm so disgusted with myself and i know i've gained a ton and i'm just so frustrated because i *need* to have control over myself and when i lose it i really lose it. i can only hope that i can get back on track tomorrow before this gets any worse. sorry everyone for the negativity i just really needed to get this off my chest. (ps this is from a throwaway because i post here semi frequently but i'm so ashamed right now)

48 Calorie Breakfast???
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 17:52:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b9xzb/48_calorie_breakfast/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Laxatives and water... three days personal challenge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 17:11:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b9sef/laxatives_and_water_three_days_personal_challenge/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Why is my brain so silly?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 14:05:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b91iy/why_is_my_brain_so_silly/
---
I try to contextualize everything related to weight. I know it takes ~3500 calories to make or lose a pound of fat. I **know** this. So why is it that when I look in the mirror the day after a binge, I suddenly feel obese and actually see myself as obese? And why is it that after not eating for a day, I look in the mirror and feel small and dainty and actually see myself as small and dainty? It's so counterintuitive! I know that the body changes aren't made in a day...they're made over several days, several weeks and several months. Buh, it's so frustrating to have to remind yourself of that and convince your brain it's true.

[Rant/Rave] Does this make anyone else irrationally angry?
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 127.4 | 20.65 | -23.2 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 13:47:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8yye/does_this_make_anyone_else_irrationally_angry/
---
Last night I was texting my friend after shopping that day and offhandedly mentioned that it had me feeling a little chubby (not looking for validation, it was just related to something that happened in a store and mostly meant as a joke). Typically this is a person who would respond with something along the lines of either 'lol that would make me feel super chubs too' or 'yeah I get that but don't worry you look fine', depending on the day, and then drop it. This time she went into like a full fledged multi text thing about it and how I wasn't fat and I was hot and I looked really good and I know she was just trying to be nice but it was overkill, especially since she has no idea about ED related things.

The thing that was ridiculous though is the last time she actually saw me in person I was only a few pounds from slipping into the overweight category. I DO NOT carry my weight well. It's all gut, lovehandles, and thighs. I'm very flat chested and my butt is only moderately sized. And this is a girl who has maintained a sub 20 bmi for her entire life so it's not like a whole 'well you're thinner than me so you're not allowed to feel fat' thing either.

How am I supposed to trust what people say about me with things like this? Like if you're going to say how good I look when objective measurements indicate fatness does that mean you're lying to appease me or is it just because overweight/obesity is so normalized that you honestly can't tell? I don't know. It just kind of made my blood boil and there wasn't really any socially acceptable way to respond with how it honestly made me feel.

[Discussion] How do you feel about diets like this?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 20 13:01:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8s2a/how_do_you_feel_about_diets_like_this/
---
http://youtu.be/RWUUC-W2mME


She "used" to have an eating disorder and now eats like this. How is this possible? is this possible or is she purging?

How do I get BACK on the wagon?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 12:47:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8pyt/how_do_i_get_back_on_the_wagon/
---
[deleted]

[Help] severe anxiety...all my calories are from alcohol...
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 124.5 | 21.65 | F | 27y]
Created: Sun Mar 20 12:35:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8o54/severe_anxietyall_my_calories_are_from_alcohol/
---
As I writing this, I have downed a complete bottle of sparkling rose wine because there is no way I would have stayed calm without it. I am writing my master thesis atm and I'm about to finish my masters...in...Psychology.

Yeah it's ridiculous. I don't know how else to combat my anxiety but with alcohol. Unfortunately I live in Europe where there is pretty much nothing available without prescription.

I am too scared to talk to my doctor because hello? I study psychology, am about to finish my masters, and everything gives me panic attacks? I feel so stupid.

I just had about 600 kcals in alcohol which is all I had for today. I am probably too drunk to write my master thesis but tbh I don't care. At least I don't get panic attacks...

...do any of you get anxiety attacks? How do you deal with them? I feel so stupid, really, and I know it's irrational fear but I don't know what to do with it... :(

[Help] Can't stop thinking about how I fucked up
/u/thatnachocheese
Created: Sun Mar 20 12:31:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8nik/cant_stop_thinking_about_how_i_fucked_up/
---
Basically ate a ton of cake today and the scale's gone up to 121 even though I was at 116 on Friday. I know that a lot of it is water weight, but it's making me feel really, really miserable. I haven't properly binged this weekend (I have a tendency to do so every weekend and forced myself to be careful this time) but it's really discouraging. Tips for getting your mind off it?

[Tip] I made a spinach dip with 95 calories and 15 grams of protein. 5.3 oz container of plan 0% fat Greek yogurt and three teaspoons of spinach dip powder mix. Amazing with low cal veggies.
/u/gabriellashock
Created: Sun Mar 20 12:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8j1y/i_made_a_spinach_dip_with_95_calories_and_15/
---
http://imgur.com/WfpMGMc

[Discussion] Take care of yourself, guys.
/u/i_sigh_less
Created: Sun Mar 20 11:39:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b8fy3/take_care_of_yourself_guys/
---
[removed]

[Help] Going to try a little experiment...
/u/l-ostcaus-e [5ft 6| Fattest of the Fats | F | GW 1: - 15lbs | UGW: 99lbs]
Created: Sun Mar 20 10:38:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b87bf/going_to_try_a_little_experiment/
---
I've gained up to a disgusting weight since starting uni in January; when I was living at home I hit several goal weights really quickly and it was starting to look like I was on the right path for once.

I'm going home this Thursday for nearly 2 weeks for Easter; I'm going to see if I can lose whilst I'm home and if I can then figure out what the fuck I'm doing differently there to here because I can't think of anything. Which is really fucking frustrating, because I always assumed that once I'd come to uni I'd lose even more as I can now get to the gym easier and so go 4 - 5 times a week (5 minutes walk from my flat rather than 30 minutes walk), I walk every where (no car or parents to give me a lift), I have complete and absolute control of my food (I suspect this may be it - I seem to have no self control up here... but I didn't think that it was that bad? I've been logging on MFP and been coming up under 1200cals almost every day) and I now have a very active job three days a week compared to five days a week of a sedentary job.

Here's hoping I come back a little lighter and a little enlightened!

[Help] Any ideas for objects to wrap around my thigh?
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 10:10:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b83fs/any_ideas_for_objects_to_wrap_around_my_thigh/
---
Is this a thing? I see it in thinspo photos and it's great, but I never know if people actually do it or if it is just art for photos. I've been wanting to wrap a rubberband or a headband or SOMETHING of the sort around my upper thigh to wear under my pants while I'm at work, out, etc. As a constant reminder of my size, a constant reminder to not eat or to eat only safe foods. I feel like throughout my day, I become comfortable/complacent with my body and eat whatever I want, only to get naked at night in front of the mirror and regret it all. I have thinspo photos on my phone but when the food is in front of me, it's hard to take out my phone and seek out the photo before I take a bite. I feel like a nagging, constant physical presence would work a lot better.

Anyone do this? On which body parts? And with what objects? I just want a reminder, not something that will cut off my circulation and make me ill.

Thanks!<33333

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 20 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b82bd/daily_food_diary_march_20_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Intro] Hello darkness, my old friend
/u/bumblebatty [5'7| 129.0 | 20.13 | -41 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 09:54:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b818q/hello_darkness_my_old_friend/
---
I'm melodramatic, sorry about that. And a lot of rambling below.

I've not had issues with eating, well, issues with undereating for about 6 years now. In high school for a year and a half about, most days I restricted to 180 calories a day (1 jumbo egg + 2 pieces of bacon). It was more for awhile because I didn't realize Splenda packets were ~2-3 calories a piece and ate a frightening amount of that just by the spoon. Cheat days would be a 460 calorie salad. I was underweight (16.9), lost my period, but not so underweight that my parents noticed.

In college, drinking and smoking and a boyfriend helped give me confidence and make my appetite grow and my eating habits get worse. I gained a lot of weight, more than in my entire life. Most of the time I was in my 140s. In 2015 I had severe anxiety issues and gained 20-something lbs, with my high (low) point being 170 lbs.

I had friends coming to visit me in 3 weeks and that freaked me out, since I was ashamed of my weight. I heavily restricted (wasn't counting, but I tried not to eat at all, had about a quarter cup a day of mujaddarra). I lost 15 lbs, that seems like a lot so probably some water weight issues, but it made me feel great. It kick started my motivation for losing weight, but the right way for once.

So I've been eating healthy, doing 1200-1400 calories a day most days, but not perfectly, for months. I've lost another 22 lbs. It's just not enough for me anymore. I've felt a calling back to my ED for years, and those 3 weeks felt like Zen for me. For the past couple of weeks I've been sobbing to myself with those voices coming back into my head.

My original goal weight was to be 125-130. I'm bringing that down to 120 now. Or maybe 115. I told my fiance and myself that I can stop once I get to my goal weight. But I've told myself that before. My first time in high school, my starting weight was right where I am now. I feel like my old self is creeping around the corner waiting to grab me again.

But also I feel at peace and just excited about eating less again. At least for now. I know it was definitely not peaceful, but maddening, the further I went down the rabbit hole back in the day... I don't think I can get back to how extreme I was in high school again. I'm planning 600 calories a day this week. But that makes me so much happier than thinking about 1200-1400 I was having before.

Anyway, as I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day, the song The Sound of Silence jumped in my head and this part of the song seemed appropriate to me.

>Hello darkness, my old friend,

>I've come to talk with you again,

>Because a vision softly creeping,

>Left its seeds while I was sleeping,

>And the vision that was planted in my brain

>Still remains

>Within the sound of silence.

[Tip] Fight fatlogic with fatlogic.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 09:13:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7vvk/fight_fatlogic_with_fatlogic/
---
Whenever I get people bugging me about my weight loss, most of the comments I hear are like "you'll put yourself in starvation mode!" or "only dogs go for bones, real men like curves". *Ick.*

Fight fatlogic with fatlogic. Say, "oh, I just have a new setpoint" or "my metabolism is just really fast". It's much easier to explain than "I restrict/purge/exercise (any combination of the three) more than you could possibly imagine".

[Goal] I reached a milestone I haven't seen since early 2011 (5'7" 149 lbs)
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Sun Mar 20 09:00:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7u61/i_reached_a_milestone_i_havent_seen_since_early/
---
Today was the 3rd day in a row I weighed in under 150lbs. I am sturdily under 150lbs for the first time in at least 5 years.

I remember when I was gaining weight it was winter 2011 that I first saw I was going to be over 150 for the first time in my life. I ballooned up to 185 in summer 2013. After that I dropped the 10 lbs in 2014, another 10 2015. January 1st 2016 I weighed in at 165. Today I am 149.

I want to thank this sub and all your support. I want to be in the 130 by summer and 120s by fall. Then I'll see. I know the weight is going to be slower to fall off at the end so I think setting a goal now would be too much guess work. Of I could loose 3lbs in the next 10 days I would be over the moon, but I'm happy ending the month sturdily under 150.

[Rant/Rave] I feel more valuable when I'm smaller
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 08:21:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7oqx/i_feel_more_valuable_when_im_smaller/
---
Recently a friend told me my face looked "so thin!" My face has always been one of my main trouble points. I've been self-conscious about my round cheeks since I was very little, sure that they destroyed my looks and prevented me from ever really being beautiful.

As I've lost weight I've noticed it in my face, especially in a more defined jawline. So, when my friend made that comment it confirmed my hopes and changed everything. I'm more confident speaking in groups, as if people will respect me now that my cheeks are smaller. I stand up straighter. I smile more and crack more jokes.

I live in constant fear that no one likes me and that they just keep me around because they are nice, not because I bring any value to their lives. But suddenly I'm finding that fear less present. All at once I believe, just a little bit, that people might like me.

And all because of a jawline.

I'm never eating 4-digit calories ever again.

[Help] Going on holiday (vacation) and feeling really anxious about the food there
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 142 lbs | 23.5 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 08:06:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7ms1/going_on_holiday_vacation_and_feeling_really/
---
I am going on holiday with my partner for 10 days and he loves food. He will only eat at restaurants or fast food places while we're away and it's just the two of us so it won't be easy to not eat. I go between restricting and binging. There's no in between for me. I've been really good at restricting these past few weeks but I'm worried that this holiday will make me go back to old habits because I'll get used to eating excessively again.

Does anyone have any advice for eating at restaurants on holiday? Or how to stop being so anxious about the amount of food I'll end up eating?

I should be looking forward to this. It's a holiday to a place I've wanted to visit for like 10 years and my stupid brain just can't let me enjoy it.

The site for quick s...x Da RDjGcg4D0
/u/t26em78sb9
Created: Sun Mar 20 07:44:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7jxu/the_site_for_quick_sx_da_rdjgcg4d0/
---
http://123flatshare.com/l04vP3FNl1uGpk4

[Rant/Rave] The moment the scale says a new low
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 20 07:42:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7joa/the_moment_the_scale_says_a_new_low/
---
Brain: "ITS TIME TO EAT EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE!"


Hahaha ha ha ha :(

[Rant/Rave] He left me last night.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 07:41:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7ji3/he_left_me_last_night/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] A Rant on Friends, Boyfriends, and Goals.
/u/queencactus [5'8/173cm | 143lbs/65kg | 21 | -59lbs/27kg) | F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 06:26:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b7b09/a_rant_on_friends_boyfriends_and_goals/
---
_Sigh._ As much as I love my friends and boyfriend, they don't get it. TBH that's why I post here - because no one _gets it._

My boyfriend and I were discussing how attractive my friend was - I told him her height and weight. She's 5'2 and 50kg or 110lbs (I had to do conversions, he's British-American šŸ˜œ).

I'm 5'9, and 70kg or 154lbs. That was my GOAL (for the moment). I cried when I got to it today.

He called her so tiny and little. He didn't think about .. well, he didn't know. He doesn't know I wish I was small. He doesn't know I wish I looked like her.

I wish he thought I was "little".




Sorry this is whiney, I'll probably delete it later. Just had to vent/have a cry!

Can anyone empathise? I'm not even sure with what, lol.

[Rant/Rave] Planned on a water fast.
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 03:25:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6ymc/planned_on_a_water_fast/
---
Family brought me to a new fast food drive-thru place instead. Nothing that isn't carby or a fatbomb. No salads, nothing. Family knows I'm trying to do keto but forced me to "relax" once in a while. Didn't want to seem suspicious so I ordered a small burger. Chowed the whole thing down.

It's four hours later and I'm in bed. I can't stop thinking about all the stupid burger pieces inside my stomach. I can't stop thinking about the grease flowing through my arteries and veins. 380 for one burger. 380 down the drain on some stupid gross burger. The scale has been stuck past couple days. This burger I ate will not help at all.

Holy fucking christ I feel like crying. I won't binge, I know I can control myself. 11 days binge-free while staying mostly staying under 500. I'm not even over 500 for today. I have no desire to eat. But 380 on some lard covered sandwich? I feel like crying. I shouldn't have eaten it. I should've at least just eaten half of it. But my parents have made comments on how little I'm eating. The way I wobble when I stand up because I get really dizzy. They've noticed. I have to be more careful.

380 won't stop ringing inside my head. The sounds and the feeling of burger sludge inside me. I don't think I've ever been more disgusted by anything.

[Goal] I reached a BMI of 19!!!!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 20 02:41:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6w7j/i_reached_a_bmi_of_19/
---
So, last week was terrible. Hit a new low on Sunday, binged on Monday and took the whole week to get back to that new low. Hit it yesterday, B/P but I still hit a new lowest weight!

I'm almost underweight and that's such a weird thing to be excited about but yay!

I have a question
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 02:25:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6v9i/i_have_a_question/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I'm never giving up control again.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 20 01:54:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6tgk/im_never_giving_up_control_again/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I can do this
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Sun Mar 20 00:55:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6pmg/i_can_do_this/
---
It had been an awful week here. My kids were on spring break, it did not go well (my kid pulling a fire alarm was the least crappy part), I've binged almost all week, my anxiety is through the roof and I'm fighting with my husband. We leave for Vegas in two weeks and I look like a cow. Right now I'm starting a 24 hour fast, minimum. Tomorrow I'll get 10k steps in, no matter what. Is anyone on fitbit who wants to do a challenge this week?

[Rant/Rave] Today is my Seventeenth Birthday
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 22:53:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6fmj/today_is_my_seventeenth_birthday/
---
I thought I was going to come on here and know exactly what to type. I thought that I was going to write this with a clear message in mind. In my life I portray myself to be this definite, decisive person with very clear goals in mind and I, *of course*, know exactly how to get there. And sure many people think this of me and rely on me to act in that way, but I'm not.



I've lost nearly thirty pounds in two months. I can't honestly remember much of what has happened, just a major fallout with a friend and a competition I won is all. But honestly, no. Nothing besides that. My life has become a haze. I don't know anyone. I don't know anything. I've never really not **known**.


I've lost one of the closest people I've ever had in my entire life, and she said it wasn't my fault-- I know it and so does she. But I feel like there's this divide between me and other people. Some impregnable wall between me and the rest of the world where I don't know how to communicate with others with anything besides explaining how I'm fine and asking for homework and small talk. I have basically zero confidence. I don't talk much to anyone anymore. My teacher let's me sit in a cozy chair in his room since it's just a Gifted class and read or do whatever. I sit there through class and force myself to sleep during the lunch period. I never wake up by the end of the period until he wakes me up.


It's disgusting to feel like this. I hate it but I love the results. I just want to be smaller no matter what it takes of course but I honestly can't help but feel so isolated from the world. There's just me and the chair. I've lost connection with so many friends. People that I barely know who know my friends have started to talk about my dramatic weight loss. One of them asked a friend if I was bulimic. I like restricting more than purging.


No one else really gets it. I think part of it is severe depression and another is my ED. I only have two friends over on my birthday and I'm not that close to either of them, so sure in a corporeal sense I have people there for me but how close am I to them? I have friends but I can't talk to them about anything much really. It's just terrifying to be alone all over again. I can't tell anyone because of the aforementioned wall. I can't connect to people anymore. It's just me.


Today is my seventeenth birthday. I am alone.

i'm too sick.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 19 22:36:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b6dxh/im_too_sick/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Recovering, but not leaving.
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 20:34:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b5znm/recovering_but_not_leaving/
---
I've wanted to recover in some way for a long time. I've had disordered eating nearly my entire life, and I am certain that I'll never fully recover. I haven't attempted to recover for real or reached out to anyone for help because I don't agree with the way modern psychology and mental health care works, I've been let down and made worse by that system many many times. I've figured out that the only way for me to reach some sort of recovery is through fitness and weight lifting, and I feel like my mentality and emotions are at a point where I can choose to do this.

I've started a simple (but effective, I'm hoping) workout routine, and started eating in a way that lets me keep some of my comfortable ED habits while still eating enough to maintain my weight and gain muscle. I don't want to go above 95 pounds until I'm at least 30, and I don't want to go above 100 ever again, although I'm hoping to get my period back at some point. I still want to be delicate, thin, bony, and not take up too much space or too many resources.

I know this isn't gonna be anywhere close to a full recovery, which is part of why I'm not distancing myself from thinspo or pro-ED communities. This sub feels like home, I love every single member of this community. I still have an anorexic's view of the world and my body, and I'm keeping a lot of my habits, so normal fitness communities wouldn't feel right to me, they wouldn't understand me and I wouldn't understand them (not to mention the general taboo against EDs and people with them).

I guess I'm not even really recovering, I'm just trying to manage my ED in a different way than I have been so far. **I'm NOT trying to tell any of you to recover, and I won't be pushing recovery in my posts/comments after this. The lack of forced recovery in this sub is the reason it's great and I want to keep it that way.**

I guess the point of this post is just to talk to people who understand, if I went anywhere else with this all I'd get is responses telling me I'm not trying hard enough and I have to recover completely with a doctor and meds and a meal plan. It'll also be nice to have some context if I relapse.

Thank you all for listening <3

[Tip] What helped me kick cravings
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 19:36:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b5sc6/what_helped_me_kick_cravings/
---
Especially for bread. I fucking love bread. Anyways, here's what you do:

* chamomile tea

* dried lavender

* mint leaves

* almond milk

Brew the tea, lavender and mint together. Add a spoonful of almond milk. If you're feeling adventurous add a little bloop of honey too.

It makes a very light feeling but filling tea that's got a bit of a nutty taste to it and it totally demolished my nightly carb cravings.

Also:

make [pretty ice cubes.]( http://i.imgur.com/yxKjeKL.jpg) Freeze rose petals, lavender, mint, hibiscus, etc into ice cubes. Pretty and fragrant water!

Bonus you will feel like a fairy princess after making/using them.

[Rant/Rave] Weird rambling
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 18:12:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b5hbu/weird_rambling/
---
So I recently went on vacation, I met some Internet friends, and they were so complimentary to me. And then I get back, at work, and more compliments. But honestly, when I look in the mirror, I can't even tell I've lost 50lbs. I feel just as fat as ever (to be fair, I am still fat, my flair is accurate to what I am right now, I'm 162lbs at 5foot tall, and I just used to be really super fat). I just... I want it gone, and I can't understand the compliments, every time someone is complimentary I want to tell them: I'm still fat, really. People think I'm done loosing, and hahaha, but yeah no. My UGW is 97 (i don't tell people that, I tell them 120).

I don't want to be acceptable, I want to be fucking exceptional.

[Tip] Stopped taking the EC stack
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 16:59:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b57g1/stopped_taking_the_ec_stack/
---
About 4 days ago I stopped taking the EC stack. I was taking 1/2 a Bronkaid (12mg) with 1/2 caffiene (100mgs) and two tablets (200mg) of L-Theanine daily. What caused me to stop? I got a sinus infection. I know Bronkaid should work for this but I needed something stronger. MucinexD extra strength. The pro: I literally don't feel hungry for 12 hours. The con: I feel WAY more hesitant about taking this long term than I do my once-a-day half dose of Bronkaid. My not-a-Doctor advice is to use sparingly and for legit purposes as mucinexD will make you dehydrated as shit, but I'd thought I would share with you lovelies.

[Discussion] Slightly off-topic, but where my league of legends players at?!
/u/spaghetti_enthusiast [5'4.5" | 133lbs | 22.43 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 16:19:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b524m/slightly_offtopic_but_where_my_league_of_legends/
---
Hopefully this is okay, but I noticed a few of you guys citing League of Legends champions as your thinspo, so I thought it'd be cool to make some new league buddies! :) I've been wanting more people to play with so give me your usernames and I'll add so we can play. You can post them here or PM me if you want. Seeya on the fields of justice HAHA

[Discussion] High-calorie restricting vs. low-calorie restricting
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Sat Mar 19 15:27:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4v2s/highcalorie_restricting_vs_lowcalorie_restricting/
---
What do you do? I constantly have this struggle of whether to eat less or more. On one hand if I eat more I'll feel better, binge less, be able to get to a lower weight without my body shutting down. But once I reach 1000 calories, I feel guilty. Knowing that my weight loss is now going to be slower. If I go over 1000, I start to feel like I'm faking my ED. Right now I can't get myself to eat more than 700 but of course, I feel like crap. It's so stupid.

[Thinspo] Cigarette
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Sat Mar 19 14:59:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4rbs/cigarette/
---
http://i.imgur.com/VdW6seH.jpg

[Goal] I have every excuse and opportunity to binge today. I want to prove to myself I won't. I love you guys.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 14:45:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4pfe/i_have_every_excuse_and_opportunity_to_binge/
---
Today is Saturday. Saturday of St Pattys Day weekend. I'm babysitting all day today. I'm currently sitting in chik-fil-a while my niece and nephew run around in the play area. I ordered a large coke zero and I've been sipping on it. Everyone around me is eating their meals, their desserts, etc. I'm alone at a table with $150 cash for babysitting and no one to judge me except myself. I could buy anything in the world and eat it in quiet solitude. Or I can use this time as an excuse to restrict since no one is watching me. I'm scanning the faces in this place and there are so many obese, miserable people just MINDLESSLY stuffing their face. OR there are overweight people eating with this look of manic happiness on their face that is clearly food induced and...disgusting and miserable to watch. I'm clean and content with tiny pangs of hunger shooting through me to remind myself of the body I'm in control of. I could sit with hunger pains OR bloated post binge pains. I like the thrill of the former and so mine it is :) It is oddly satisfying to watch other people consume calories while I remain at 0. And I'm pleasantly caffeinated too. I love you guys, I love that you understand me. I love that I can sit here and mindlessly ramble to you. After this, we are going to the movies to see Zootopia (I'm so pumped, I fucking love getting lost in children's movies, they're honestly so funny and innocent and uplifting) and the kids will get candy. They're kids, they won't judge me, I could indulge with them and mindlessly eat ANY candy i want. I'm fully equipped with AMC gift cards and a lot of them. But I'll sip my water. I'll remain clean and I'll find enjoyment in the movie, not the sweet indulgences that we've been conditioned to associate with movies. I refuse to let my reward system be food. Fuck food. My reward system is life. A comical movie can placate me more than a temporary, expensive, and unhealthy candy. After the movie I'm sleeping over my sisters house where she has ice cream, chips, pizza, pretzels, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. She gave me one instruction: "eat WHATEVER you want, our kitchen is yours." To some people, this would be a warm invitation. To me, it is a challenge. I pledge to not eat a single marcel of her food. In the past, I've binged while babysitting because she falls asleep and I'm alone with a ton of food I never surround myself with. But not tonight, no sir. Tonight is a special challenge.

Thanks so much for listening, thanks for letting me lay out my goals here so I'm not alone with the exciting buzz of goal setting and so I can be held accountable by the understanding nature of this community. Thanks <3

[Thinspo] Androgynous fashion thinspo 2! (NSFW)
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 13:36:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4fw5/androgynous_fashion_thinspo_2_nsfw/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/fccQQ

[Help] Nausea from EC Stack?
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 13:25:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4ecr/nausea_from_ec_stack/
---
I'm not sure if this is how EC stacks work but every time I take it I get super nauseous and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I try to drink a full bottle of water with it so its not just hanging out in my stomach but I have to stop myself from gagging every 2 minutes for the next 45 mins. After that I get the energy boost and don't feel hungry anymore.

Is there anything I can do to make it stop making me feel like I'm going to puke everywhere? Or is that the point of the EC stack - to make you feel sick so you don't eat. Or maybe I just have a ~delicate stomach~

[Thinspo] Surprise thinspo. I love how her jumper hangs off her shoulders.
/u/thebondoftrust
Created: Sat Mar 19 12:40:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b4805/surprise_thinspo_i_love_how_her_jumper_hangs_off/
---
https://imgur.com/0CF65Vn

Still looking for a kik group!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 19 12:12:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b441f/still_looking_for_a_kik_group/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] anyone else obsessed with the Paper Test and other "fad challenges"?
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 11:22:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3wzh/anyone_else_obsessed_with_the_paper_test_and/
---
saw [this](http://www.latinpost.com/articles/118638/20160316/social-media-craze-has-women-comparing-their-waist-size-to-paper.htm) earlier today and it reminded me of the old 'collarbone coin challenge' from a while back, I used to be soooo proud of being able to get those dumb quarters to stay. I'm sure I'll end up obsessing over a piece of paper too (though it seems kinda easy to cheat that one :/).

Anyone else get super hyped up when the internet presents one of the "fun new ways of measuring yourself"?

Anyone have some favorites they'd like to share?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 19 10:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3lx7/daily_food_diary_march_19_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I quit
/u/KingofSuicides [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Mar 19 09:58:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3lea/i_quit/
---
I quit. I started restricting to 1000 calories in November. In mid-February I bought a scale and found I had lost *no* weight. I was devastated and I posted about it here.

I restricted to 600 calories a day and about a week ago I posted again that I wasn't seeing a lot of progress.

As we head into the last week(s) of March, my scale is telling me that from the time that I went to my doctor at the beginning of November to today I have lost about **2 pounds**.

I have been so *fucking* hungry and craving all kinds of food but I've been good. I've cut out coffee, tea and soda. I drink only water. I consume mostly soup. I walk daily for about 30 minutes at a brisk pace, my heart rate gets up there into the "vigorous exercise" arena (according to my fitness app).

All I have to show for about five months is a whopping **2 pounds**. I've received a lot of support and good advice here, some of which I've put into practice.

I thought about giving up food entirely but I honestly don't believe I have the willpower to do that. So I have to make one of the hardest and most personally devastating decisions of my life: I have to accept that I will be fat forever and I will only get fatter and, as a result, I'm going to hate myself, going to be disgusted by myself.

And the worst part of it is that there is nothing I can do about it.

My body will *not* lose weight.

Maybe I'll try again when I balloon to 200 pounds or maybe I'll just kill myself because if I ever see that number on the scale, it will be the end of me. I will not live in a body that is that enormous.

So, this is the end of my ED journey. I quit.

[Help] breaking a fast help - also treatment advice?
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 09:54:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3kwi/breaking_a_fast_help_also_treatment_advice/
---
i'm fasting today! it's my first time fasting in a long long time. only hoping to go 40 hours as i am going to kind of bae's house for dinner tomorrow.

will i need to do anything before then to break it so my body won't be weird?

anyway, just thought i'd share that i feel nice, kind of tired and low energy but also in a weird way not, like i've done loads of tidying and went and read in the park and stuff. belly is really rumbling but it's a good feeling. so sick of b/p!

my mum has said i need to go to a doctors and to a support group so i'm going to be doing all that on monday. idk i'm kind of worried about it. the doctors telling me i'm too big or laughing at me and also feeling competitive in a group? idk help haha

[Rant/Rave] First post and a huge rant.
/u/CementeryDrive
Created: Sat Mar 19 09:46:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3jsx/first_post_and_a_huge_rant/
---
Im writing this on a mobile so dont be too upset about typos and bad formatting. I made this account a long time ago for embarassing sexquestions etc, so my post history reflects that. Pls dont judge me on them. Its hard to make a new account on my stupid and old mobile.

Ive lurked here forever, and never had the guts to post. I think I was affraid of people calling me a fat wnb, and from time to time I see posts ranting about people who dont really have an ED, so I think I was affraid to be judged. Now I'm so lost and have no one to talk to about this, since I know all of my friends would be worried and I don't want to deal with it. I just feel like I need to talk to you about this.


I'm now sitting on my boyfriends mothers couch. They are playing chess so I have the opporunity to write this. We just got here from a pizza place. My boyfriend, who has lately gotten worried about me "eating too little" (I ate 900cals yesterday, all infront of him, ugh) ORDERED A PIZZA FOR ME WITH FETA CHEESE ON TOP OF THE REGULAR PIZZA CHEESE. Cheese is one of my anxiety foods, cause I used to love it when i was obese. I would have ordered a falafel and salad combo, cause mushing the falafel and hiding it in the salad works well for me. When i heard him order my pizza I felt like crying, but his mother was there so I smiled and said thats what i wanted anyway.

I know my BF means well, but it felt like a betrayal. I was a lot skinnier when we met and I let myself be gross and fat, and I'm trying to get back on track. I feel so weird cause at the same time he is so proud of me when i lose and is exited to see the body I used to have come back, and then says things like "you can have pasta once in a while" and "you dont have run every day." Yes I fucking do THATS HOW I GOT THAT BODY THAT YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH.

But anyway, as we are sitting in the pizzeria I can feel my boyfriend watch my eating, like its his job to make sure I stuff myself with trash. I ate half of the pizza, then I felt so gross I had to stop, told them that Ill ask to have the rest of it to go, and excused myself to go to a bathroom.

I have never purged before, but I really felt like my body was telling me to do it. I don't plan on starting purging, but I felt like this was a expection cause I didn't want to eat it. But I couldn't. I was in the bathroom for like 15 minutes, literally sitting on the discusting floor, and even tooked my hairbrush out of my bag and showed the handle as far down my throath as I could. Nothing. I felt like a huge failure. Like i was doomed to be overweight forever cause I couldn't even throw up disgustig fatty cheesepizza in a super gross public bathroom. I gave up, and now as I'm writing this I can feel my stomach digesting it and I feel like ive set my self back. Im so fucking weak I cant even make myself vomit.

I don't know why I wanted to write this, maybe I just wanted to let my feelings out. I have read all of your posts and comments for a while now, and im very inspired by all of you. You are all so strong, unlike me.

My boyfriend is usually awesome, but im affraid he wilm always have a fat girlfriend if he keeps doing this.

Do you have any advice how to handle these situations in the future? Im a mess now.



[Tip] So helpful- I'll try some! [recipes]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 08:31:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b3a2e/so_helpful_ill_try_some_recipes/
---
http://anorexic-cookbook.tumblr.com

[Rant/Rave] It turns our the weight gain was real weight gain.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 06:40:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b2yeb/it_turns_our_the_weight_gain_was_real_weight_gain/
---
It's been two days. I was sick yesterday but didn't drink at all and the scale hasn't budged from 110 this morning. Fuck. Fuck oreos and fuck Chinese food and fuck alcoholism. (I love you even williams, you dirty cocksucker!) Alas. Back to the begining. Trying not to feel too much hate. Also my ass and thighs are sore. It's probably not muscles cause I've been so naughty. It's just fat depositing it's nasty self right back into my ass and tummy šŸ˜ˆšŸ˜§šŸ˜“

[Rant/Rave] It's 8am and I've eaten over 1000 calories
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 06:25:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b2wyk/its_8am_and_ive_eaten_over_1000_calories/
---
That's almost twice as much as I wanted for the whole day. Im so frustrated with myself. It was like i got down to 136 and just said "fuck it". Ive been barely hitting maitenance by exercising two+ hours a day for the past week

[Rant/Rave] What the F!?!?!?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Mar 19 05:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b2peu/what_the_f/
---
So I decided to have half a watermelon for breakfast, I normally eat the green ones and when I wanted to log it after eating it.. 600 cal? Please tell me this is a joke. I had planned 600 for my day.

[Goal] I can get my hands around the biggest part of my thigh!
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 19 02:55:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b2fug/i_can_get_my_hands_around_the_biggest_part_of_my/
---
It's something I check all the time, and for YEARS I couldn't get my thumbs to touch. But just now I did it! I'm ridiculously happy. Now if only my upper body would shrink too...

[Discussion] Dry peanut butter?
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Sat Mar 19 01:30:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b29g3/dry_peanut_butter/
---
Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do with it to keep calories low? No carbs so bread is out of the question.

[Rant/Rave] Hate myself, hate myself, no food, no water
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 18 23:55:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b21em/hate_myself_hate_myself_no_food_no_water/
---
I'm sick of things in my body

Tonight I'm taking my sleep medication (Seroquel + Klonipin for anxiety)

Tomorrow I'm drinking strong laxative tea and sitting by the bathroom. I'm home alone. I want to clean out my system. I will eat nothing I will drink nothing I will deprive my body I will make myself a BLANK SLATE and I will slowly add tea and soy milk, then juice, kombucha, then smoothies then we'll go from there.

7 lbs down but I fucking stuffed my face today.

I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I deserve this I DESERVE THIS

[Rant/Rave] I ate pasta for the first time in weeks/months tonight
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 23:28:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b1yvb/i_ate_pasta_for_the_first_time_in_weeksmonths/
---
I'm actually really proud of myself, but it's such a ridiculous thing to say to anyone in real life.

Pasta is absolutely my favorite food. I could eat it every day and be happy. But since I've been restricting again for the past few months I've had a ton of anxiety and fear about pasta; I'm afraid once I eat it I won't be able to stop.

I'm at a point with my relationship with food where I really need to prove to myself that I'm in control (because that's what this is mostly about for me, being able to control at least one aspect of my life). And being afraid of fucking pasta is just stupid a ridiculous (ugh, but oh so real).

But I logged the calories before hand and made myself a bowl. It was honestly hard to take the first bite, and I had to put Netflix on to distract myself. But I ate the bowl and it didn't lead to a binge.

I'm feeling really good about myself and want to brag, but I'm pretty sure you guys are the only ones who would get it. So thanks!

[Discussion] Does anyone know what happened to the creator of Butterfly Recipes? Link in text.
/u/OrchidandthePearl [5'7 | 106 | 16.7 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 22:47:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b1uvr/does_anyone_know_what_happened_to_the_creator_of/
---
[Butterfly Recipes](http://butterfly-recipes.com/2014/10/29/why-i-havent-posted-anything-for-so-long/#comments)

I just found this blog (someone on kik shared it with me) and the first post you see is her explaining that she had been ill. Did anyone here follow her in 2014? I'm really curious.

[Tip] Don't eat until you're on par with how much water you should have.
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 18:58:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b13so/dont_eat_until_youre_on_par_with_how_much_water/
---
I keep track of my water via an app, and if I'm not where I should be on my water I drink until I am. It makes me less likely to eat because a. I feel ill or b. My body just wanted water.

Shout out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 18 18:52:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b133o/shout_out/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] /r/skinnyfit is my thinspo.
/u/casschips
Created: Fri Mar 18 18:23:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b0zgu/rskinnyfit_is_my_thinspo/
---
Let me first start by saying that I get that everyone has a certain kind of thinspo that does it for them and I am in full support. I love how motivating it is and respect every kind. Dainty, frail, and even the most "sick" looking girls are all beautiful.

For me /r/skinnyfit is the ultimate thinspo. Instagrams like @viktortatrains are my number one motivation. I know that in order to work toward this look, I need to build a subtle amount of muscle mass, and then lose as much fat as possible in order to reveal it.

I love exercising and eating clean, but I'd love to bounce around ideas with other people who aspire for (or already have achieved) this look.

I love to plan and am looking to build a regimen to work towards this goal. Things like a set amount of water and sleep each day, a meal plan, and an exercise plan. Making exact and technical plans (e.g. At least 1 gallon of water a day) gives me the biggest boner. Rigidity and rules make me feel amazing.

Anyone else interested in working on a plan together? Does anyone else see this as thinspo like me?

[Rant/Rave] Getting new tattoo, new motivation; No hunger at all :)
/u/NostalgicSong [5'3.5" | 104.7 | 18.69 | -37.3 | Female]
Created: Fri Mar 18 18:12:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b0y33/getting_new_tattoo_new_motivation_no_hunger_at_all/
---
Hey, it's me Ellae, with my new account. I am back to my restricting ways. I binged myself into having abdominal dissension several times, gained weight, and really got out of control.

I have re-established my goals and I want to go for it this time. These last 10 lbs. shouldn't be this hard but I got complacent. No, I got ridiculously bingey.

Anyways, I am getting an awesome tattoo on the smallest part of my arm tonight. And I am not hungry anymore. I control my hunger and I dictate when I eat. And that's that. My body really doesn't need much food. I am small now and I will be smaller soon.

The tattoo is of a peony in a triangle with some pink and black for the colors. It is a delicate and pretty tattoo (haven't quite got it yet at this point, I am in the waiting area: will update.)

The tattoo is for my sister who died a few weeks ago, but mostly for me, to represent who I am and who I want to be and to always remember this month and my sister.

I will be in control, and I will be a delicate flower.

[Rant/Rave] Eating makes me feel nauseated
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 18 14:45:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b05ev/eating_makes_me_feel_nauseated/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Book PDFs; free on Google Drive
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 14:38:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4b04f9/book_pdfs_free_on_google_drive/
---
Thank you to /u/perplexedketoer and /u/thininsp for reminding me about a project I started last summer. I've more recently added Fasting Girls and Purge (edit and Clean) and I'm working on obtaining more book PDFs.

In the meantime:

* Does anyone have suggestions for where I can relocate these files for easy sharing that is not my Google drive?
* Please leave me a comment if you'd like me to try and obtain a particular title that is not currently on the list.
* Enjoy [the current collection](https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B3Q11myA6WH7fmdwdk5BYUtIZnRnVFc4eGtuRkNSak5EYmVMcGVEek12RUJXTWw4NldGRzA&usp=sharing):
* Boys Get Anorexia Too (Langley, Jenny)
* Brave Girl Eating - A Family's Struggle with Anorexia (Brown, Harriet)
* Clean (Reed, Ann)
* Eat - STOP - Eat (Pilon, Brad)
* Fasting Girls (Brumberg, Joan Jacobs)
* Fighting With Me (Anonymous)
* Hunger Point (Medoff, Jillian)
* Kid Rex: The Inspiring True Account of a Life Salvaged (Moisin, Laura)
* Letting Ana Go (Anonymous)
* My Perfect Little Secret (Coppage, Rebecca)
* Purge - Rehab Diaries (Johns, Nicole)
* Skinny Bitch (Freedman, Rory & Kim Barnouin)
* Skinny Boy - A Young Man's Battle & Triumph Over Anorexia (Grahl, Gary)
* Unbearable Lightness - A Story of Loss and Gain (de Rossi, Portia)
* Wasted (Hornbacher, Marya)
* Wintergirls (Anderson, Laurie Halse)

*****

From /u/HellAbove:
> For kindle people: http://ebook.online-convert.com/convert-to-mobi
:*

[Rant/Rave] Why am I doing all this for a barely mediocre body?
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 13:46:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4azwsi/why_am_i_doing_all_this_for_a_barely_mediocre_body/
---
Sorry if this is all over the place, I've just been feeling really discouraged and I need to vent before I explode.


I've always known it deep down, but lately I've been trying to come to terms with the fact that I'll never be happy with how I look. Before I lost weight and was about 145, I looked bad. I know I did. My proportions **suck** in general and my legs especially were fucking disgusting. My arms and stomach were flabby, my boobs were pathetically small. I basically looked [awful](http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li2evnzYEP1qhfmrto1_500.jpg) and I hated it. I naively thought that weight loss would make my low self-image go away.


After losing some weight, my upper body is relatively small and bony because I have a wide ribcage, and my boobs shrivelled up even more. My legs aren't thin by any stretch of the imagination, but I guess they're at the higher end of "average" sized now. However, I'm still the same godawful shape, just a little smaller. What's worse, there are frequently still times when I look in the mirror and see myself exactly the same as I was at 145, massive legs and all.


My question is this: Why the hell am I torturing myself for a body that doesn't even look good? It looks *acceptable* at best. AT BEST. The only time I look okay is when I'm wearing figure flattering clothes and am not currently bloated. Most of the time (especially naked), I still look like a lumpy misshapen potato. I hate that I have to put this much effort into just barely looking NORMAL. I thought that "normal" was supposed to be the baseline of physical attractivenessā€“no effort required. Is any of this even worth it? Is it worth feeling dizzy and short-tempered all the time for scrawny arms? Is it worth having a constant headache for thighs that are *less* chunky than they were, but still look like tree trunks? Is it worth eating celery for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so that I can look like someone who mindlessly eats whatever they want? What the fuck am I actually accomplishing when I starve myself all day and binge the next morning only to be caught up in the same cycle of Restrict, Eat, Hate myself, Repeat? A mediocre fucking body, that's what. A body that won't turn stomachs *or* heads.


The hardest part to accept is that yes, it is worth it. I hate my body a little bit less than I did 20 lbs ago, and I wouldn't go back to what I was for anything. I think of the rest of my life stretching out ahead of me and I don't look forward to it, I dread the fact that every single day will be a constant and exhausting struggle with myself over something as fucking stupid as food. I don't even want to think about how my body will only get more repulsive with age.

I just wish that I felt happy with what I look like after everything I've put myself through, or even at least remotely satisfied.

[Rant/Rave] Was watching a movie with my ?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Mar 18 12:23:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4azjzw/was_watching_a_movie_with_my/
---
Questionmark cause he is like a half boyfriend? I don't know what we are. Haha

Anyways, he kept touching my hipbones and I felt so proud. I don't know if he's worried or it's something he finds hot.

[Discussion] The ULTIMATE Spring Break Cleanse... Who's with me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 18 11:01:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az7a6/the_ultimate_spring_break_cleanse_whos_with_me/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Its that time of week again... Thinspo friday #2!
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:58:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az6s6/its_that_time_of_week_again_thinspo_friday_2/
---
http://imgur.com/a/TjbA7

[Thinspo] Abbey lee, my favorite thinspo
/u/Thepuginpink
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:56:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az6jr/abbey_lee_my_favorite_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Kf48D

[Rant/Rave] House guest
/u/99percentvile
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:39:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az3uf/house_guest/
---
(Obligatory 'I had an old account for here and forgot password, but mainly lurked anyway' sentence)

So my roommate has his brother over here about half the week and it's really cramping my style. Don't get me wrong, he's nice and clean and all that. But my scale happens to be in the main area of our tiny apartment because our bathroom is basically a closet with a toilet and tub. It's never been an issue before! But he's often awake in the mornings, and those are when hopping on the scale matter the most.. I haven't weighed myself in 3 days (I sure as hell won't do it when he's there) and I'm anxious as fuck.

I don't know if it's a coincidence but I've also purged the last 3 nights too (after promising myself I'll stop again). I'm playing with fire here because my boyfriend is aware of my "past" disordered eating and has been with me when I've been doing it.

ANYWAY, I'll end my pity party. I'm glad I have a place to stupidly rant here.

[Discussion] (Not) counting calories
/u/fairyspice [5'4" | 110.6 | 18.98 | -11.4 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:39:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4az3u7/not_counting_calories/
---
Does anyone else find they eat less when they aren't actively counting calories? Personally, if I give myself 800 calories I will find a way to consume 800 calories, even if it means eating crap food. If I just eat foods that feel safe without immediately checking the calories, I end up with fewer calories when I add them up at the end of the day.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 18 10:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ayxyt/daily_food_diary_march_18_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Tip] Holy bejeesus guise. Y'all need to try this!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 09:41:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ayuky/holy_bejeesus_guise_yall_need_to_try_this/
---
So I love instant/quick oatmeal and seeing what I can do with it. You can have a full bowl (40g dry) for 150 calories. I also like sweet stuff, so I like to combine them. My most recent is the 40g dry quick oatmeal with no cal sweetener to taste as it cooks. Then I added 1.5 tablespoons of apple butter as well as an obscene amount of ground cinnamon for a total calorie count of:

**195**

It's not a perfect "low cal" option, but for less than 200 calories, it's pretty bulky and sooooooo tasty oh my goodness! I attempt around 600 cals a day, and I think I'm going to just have this for every meal for the next week.

[Rant/Rave] Weird dreams when restricting.
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 08:10:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aygaj/weird_dreams_when_restricting/
---
I apologize if this is overdone, so mods, feel free to remove this and stuff if it's overkill.

Anyways, I have been doing very well at restricting for the past month and such, don't feel like binging any time soon, things like that. As always, the nightmares that come with my heavy restriction are totally draining on me. The first couple of weeks after the start of restricting, I'd have a lot of binging dreams. It would be so vivid and feel so real and I end up waking up crying and panicking and breathing gets really difficult while I'm on my phone opening up MFP to see if I really ate as much as I did in my dream.

Recently I've been having dreams where my skin is rotting. I'm still alive but (WARNING: prolly tmi and gross, prolly) it's peeling and scabbing and rotting and in the dreams people take notice and ask me why my arms look like they're red all over and peeling. I get this very panicky feeling and it looks gross and doctors say they can't do anything because it's prolly because I'm not getting enough nutrients.

Now I know what comes with severe restriction, but the idea of having unsightly skin, having it rot while it's on me, makes me feel so uneasy. It really discourages me from fasting because I'm afraid of having it happen for real.

Ugh, just wanted to vent, I guess. I'm determined to keep going but these nightmares make it so hard. *sigh*

[Rant/Rave] Overate but didn't binge. Don't know how to feel.
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.2 kg (95 lbs) | last binged 30th March]
Created: Fri Mar 18 07:42:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ayck0/overate_but_didnt_binge_dont_know_how_to_feel/
---
It's been an extremely social day, and I've definitely overeaten and have had a lot of high calorie foods, but I can't quite say I binged today (although I was very tempted to do so at lunch @ work and almost did. think uncontrolled snacking). Damage done today is probably approx 2500 calories.

Tl;dr I don't feel overly full, but definitely ate a lot today. Felt binge-y the whole day. Feeling binge-y now. Anyone else relate?

[Thinspo] Androgynous/Fashion Thinspo (NSFW-ish)
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 07:35:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aybk6/androgynousfashion_thinspo_nsfwish/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/UtjbK

Super women for s......x here qw3gRGLY
/u/m32gi95yw78o
Created: Fri Mar 18 07:08:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ay7bu/super_women_for_sx_here_qw3grgly/
---
http://activefitlife.com/GAT1gj9B5yt

[Thinspo] My ever-growing inspo album
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 06:52:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ay4tc/my_evergrowing_inspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/jKnm2

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! March 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 18 06:02:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axxuc/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_march_18/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for March 18, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] Male thinspo!
/u/_wildstrawberries
Created: Fri Mar 18 06:00:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axxo3/male_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/9k4nFE9.jpg

[Help] All I want is Cake!
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 05:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axuox/all_i_want_is_cake/
---
All I want is damn cake. I have everything in the cupboard to make cake. So instead I have made a cup of peppermint tea and am browsing this sub.

Any advice for resisting?? I can no longer purge.

[Discussion] Big plans!
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 03:58:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axml1/big_plans/
---
Since it went so well last week and I quite enjoyed it I thought I'd do another liquid fast for a few days! Then I can get another boost before my visit home.. Yikes! I'll start this afternoon/evening and then carry on until Tuesday again to eat, at least.

What are you guys doing this weekend? ;-)

[Discussion] What's your favourite low (or low-ish) calorie meal?
/u/justwanttolikemyself [5'1" | 101 | -43lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 01:19:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4axae5/whats_your_favourite_low_or_lowish_calorie_meal/
---
Just curious to know what kind of things you guys eat, for me personally my favourite thing to eat is a slice of toast with laughing cow low cal cheese spread and a sprinkle of black pepper, it's filling and you get your calcium. It's heavenly and depending on the bread you use is around 115 cals all together! So what do you lot like?

[Intro] Weighed in for the first time in a year. Not good.
/u/dethleib [5'3 | CW: 115 | CGW: 110 | UGW: 96 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 18 00:01:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ax3kz/weighed_in_for_the_first_time_in_a_year_not_good/
---
First post here, lurking forever.

Last year I threw away my scale in an attempt at self recovery after becoming somewhat stable in my home life and career. I still continued to try and gauge my body based on clothing fit and visible bones etc, and some days are harder than others, but overall I could have a relatively normal intake. Today, while waiting with my BF at his doctors appointment I spotted the scale in the corner.

I couldn't resist.

Mortified to see I weigh fifteen pounds more than my highest weight ever. I had to try to show no reaction, so my boyfriend wouldn't notice, but inside I'm disgusted. I couldn't even tell I had gained so much this year.

I have to turn this around. I feel so backwards.. I let myself too far down. I don't even know how it got so far without me noticing. I felt like yes, I wasn't restricting hard anymore, but I was maintaining. Bullshit. Buying a new scale tomorrow, and punishment is coming my way.

[Help] I feel sad.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 20:22:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4awek6/i_feel_sad/
---
Today I went digging snow caves, which was marvelous exercise except for the four donuts I ate on the way home. Sigh.

The weather looked nice so I decided to go for a hike to try and work of as much of the food as I could. I did that for maybe 4 miles, and it was awesome. I thought "ok, maybe I didn't work off the donuts, but if I skip dinner maybe I'll be close enough".

Then mom wanted to go to an Italian place for her birthday dinner. Shit.

I feel like all of my effort today was for nothing. I probably ate close to 4,000 calories today, and there's no way I burned off 2,500 shoveling and hiking to bring me to maintenance. Oh well. Life goes on, I guess, but I sure feel sad.

[Discussion] give me courage! b/p cycle needs to fucking end
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 19:27:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aw70u/give_me_courage_bp_cycle_needs_to_fucking_end/
---
ok, so i've been stuck in a b/p cycle for 2 weeks almost now. thankfully i haven't gained any (have actually lost some, need to update flair) but i am fed up of feeling out of control, miserable, and consumed by thoughts of food.

starting tomorrow: my 4 safe foods only, 200 calories burnt off by exercise per day, and let's get this show on the road. i am hectic busy with university at the moment and part of me is like, i need fuel, i didn't pay x amount of tuition fees to put it up the drain, but that is binge mentality!

it's particularly difficult because i feel so spaced out most of the time but that is better than b/p - i have even been purging in the boys toilets!!! it's a shame because i look relatively thin right now ish (bmi must be low 16, upper 15) but my face is so fat that it throws everything off.

idk, i just want lots of cups of tea and for this phase to be done with. i can't stand the waste: time, energy, money.

i will eat my 4 safe foods per day: no more, no less, and be content with those.

(onwards and upwards - come at me tomorrow)

does anyone have any tips on either eating things all at once or in dribs and drabs? i only ask because the food i am comfortable with eating (comes to about 500cal but in 4 parts) i tend to eat all in one go at about 1pm. would it make my life easier if i spaced that out? sometimes i feel like i want to "Get all of my eating for the day done" which has worked for me previously but at the moment it looks like "get all of my eating for the day done" "oh god too much" "vom" *couple hours laterr* "lets just eat everything so we can get rid of it then quit it forever, hmm?"

[Intro] Sigh. So I'm back.
/u/star-of-morning [5'1" | 112 | -22 | 22 F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 18:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avy9k/sigh_so_im_back/
---
I doubt any of you remember me as I haven't posted here since like August or September? Anyways I'm 22 and was anorexic between the ages of 14 and 20. I recovered shortly after I turned 21 but recovery led me to gaining weight. So here I am again.

I tried losing weight the healthy way by eating 1200-1400 calories a day and exercising. I started lifting, too, and made gains but then I realized I **hate** making gains. My biceps and triceps are pretty big. I miss my dainty arms.

Being a college student and equestrian athlete, it's really hard to restrict. School sucks the life out of me. I'm on spring break next week for one week so intend on resitrcting to 0-500 calories a day. I only really need to eat to fuel myself so I can ride my horse and not die.

I may try to hit the gym next week but most likely I'll be too tired to do it. If I gather the energy to go, I'll probably just use the stationary bike and do some bodyweight training. I'm only 10 pounds to my goal weight so hopefully I'm down at least 4 pounds. That'll leave me with just 6 pounds to go.

When I started losing weight the healthy way, I was really proud of myself for *actually* being able to do it. I always thought I would only be able to lose weigh through ED ways. But then calorie counting and counting my macros just triggered me too much and, well, here I am

ĀÆ\_(惄)_/ĀÆ

[Help] Help me out, ladies and gents...
/u/ravingmaven [5'2.5" | 150.0 | 27 | -15| F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 18:12:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avwc8/help_me_out_ladies_and_gents/
---
I don't know if I belong here. I'm becoming increasingly deceptive about my eating when I talk to family. I'm elated when I have the opportunity NOT to eat. All morning long I was saying to myself: "Nobody can MAKE me eat breakfast today." And I didn't eat breakfast. And it felt great. It felt great to be sneaky, and I felt strong for not eating.

I'm making a dinner of turkey stroganoff for my husband and boys tonight. I will eat with them. I had a two hundred calorie salad for lunch. I'll have a total of 650 calories today, roughly. It feels like a victory.

Anyway, I've been on a roll lately with this. I feel like I'm sinking into this deception, and it's becoming comfortable. It feels good. It's exhilarating when the numbers on the scale go down.

I'm asking for your support, I guess. Your kind words. Your feelings about going through the same types of things. Anything. Knowing that I'm not alone in being confused would be helpful.

Like I said, I don't know if I belong here. I am good to talk to, anyway, or so I've been told, so I thought I'd put this out there.

Thanks!

[Tip] Great Body Visualizer Tool
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 127.4 | 20.65 | -23.2 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 17:07:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avn16/great_body_visualizer_tool/
---
http://bodyvisualizer.com/female.html

[Help] Do any of yall have a Charge HR?
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 16:55:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avlbv/do_any_of_yall_have_a_charge_hr/
---
My fit bit keeps adding walks as bike rides...i mean i am pushing a stroller at a brisk pace but idk about all that. Should I delete the exercise? I definately never trust the calories fitbit says I burn. The cute little liar!

[Rant/Rave] Something my mom does that helps
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 16:40:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avj4w/something_my_mom_does_that_helps/
---
This is just a little thing, but I've been thinking about it a lot.

One of the frustrating things about having body dysmorphia is that my brain seems to always find a way to be upset about *everything* that people say or do or don't say or don't do. If people comment on how much I weigh, I find it annoying... who are they to comment on my body and reinforce the idea that my weight is important? But if they don't comment on how much I weigh, that's even worse, because then it means that I'm not skinny enough for them to comment. Or if they scold me for how little I'm eating it enrages me because that's *none of their fucking business* but if they praise me for it or ignore it then I feel like they're invalidating the fact that I have a problem.

My smart and intuitive mother seems to have picked up on this, because now instead of commenting on my weight or what I eat, she asks me how *I* feel about how much I'm eating. Like, "are you feeling restricted by the amount you eat?" or "does weighing all of your food make it harder to cook?" in a completely neutral voice, like she's just genuinely really curious and she's not trying to imply anything. Her tone is what gets me the most, because she manages to avoid sounding overly concerned but still convey that she's really interested. And if I say "yeah actually, I do feel really limited" she'll be like "hm, well that's no good," and leave it at that, which leaves the focus of the conversation on my feelings and means that I don't have to deal with unsolicited advice or spend energy defending myself.

I really like it, and it makes me want to happy cry when I think about how thoughtful and considerate she's being. She's not making it about how my body looks, she's not trying to get me to do anything differently, she's not making it about her own feelings of being worried about me, she's not putting a lot of pressure on the conversation by making a big deal out of it, and she's not ignoring what I'm going through either. She's just giving me an opportunity to talk about how I'm feeling, if I want that. And I want to very much, I just rarely feel like I can because I'm afraid that people will do one of those other things.

I dunno, it's just nice. I love her a lot.

[Discussion] Can we get a megathread going for thinspirational movies and TV shows?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 15:51:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avbta/can_we_get_a_megathread_going_for_thinspirational/
---
I just watched Roman Holiday and was in total awe of [Audrey Hepburn's glorious 20-inch waist.](https://38.media.tumblr.com/962ff5a5a60f429c4e5c24daaf26b31a/tumblr_inline_o1zwjj3Vcx1u0cl7j_500.gif) Now I need to find more stuff to watch that prominently feature beautiful, skinny, well-dressed people that I can aspire to look like. Let's make a list! What's something that you remember watching and thinking "oh god oh god oh god I wish I looked exactly like that"?

[Discussion] So many of us here drink tea and coffee, show me your favorite mug or cup!!
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 15:45:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4avazo/so_many_of_us_here_drink_tea_and_coffee_show_me/
---
I have a favorite mug and it got me wondering if all of you do too, so I thought it would be fun to show each other our favorite things!

Optional addition: favorite drink to put in favorite cup/mug!

I'll kick it off, [here's my favorite travel cup next to my favorite mug]( http://i.imgur.com/Y8hdSRo.jpg)

[Rant/Rave] Annoying friend's reaction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 17 15:14:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4av69i/annoying_friends_reaction/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Am I a jerk for being annoyed whenever my partner says "you're beautiful, no matter what size"?
/u/NaturalBlonde91 [5'6|CW:143|GW:125|UGW:120|BMI:23.05 |-33 |Female]
Created: Thu Mar 17 15:07:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4av59o/am_i_a_jerk_for_being_annoyed_whenever_my_partner/
---
My partner is a complete sweetheart, and she knows I struggle with food and body image. She tries her best to be supportive, and would never say anything remotely negative or critical about my weight. But whenever she says "I'll think you're beautiful, even if you gain 50 pounds" or "you're beautiful no matter what size you are" it irritates me. More than anything else, it irritates me so much. I know she is trying to make me feel better, but it makes me feel even worse. Because whenever I imagine myself being obese or even overweight I think FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. In my mind, I am fucking worthless and disgusting and hideous at a higher weight. Whenever I see old pictures of myself from my heaviest (one year ago) I think god fucking damn how did I let myself become so ugly and gross. So when she says "you're beautiful no matter what" I think

1. That's a complete lie. If I gained 50 pounds and became a shapeless blob, I would NOT be beautiful. And reassuring me that my 50 pounds of disgusting excess flab totes doesn't change how beautiful I am will not make me change my mind on that.

2. ... What if I do gain 50 pounds? What if I lose control of myself, and gorge my way beyond even my highest weight? When my partner says that she would find beauty in me even if I was obese... does that mean she thinks I will become obese someday, that she's preparing for that possibility?

I know that all of this is silly, and my partner is just trying to be as loving and protective as possible. But the dumb part of my brain doesn't interpret it that way, and I feel like I can't talk to her about it without sounding really disordered. :/

Also: I know that this is super petty, but it bugs the shit out of me when my partner says that her Mum is soooooo skinny and has even called her a stick figure before. Her Mum and I weighed ourselves the other day. We are the same height, and she is only 4 pounds lighter than I am. But my partner has NEVER called me skinny, or slim, or small, nothing. She isn't doing it to spite me, I know that it comes from the fact that her Mum used to be a lot heavier for most of her life, and is the lightest she has been in decades right now. But come on, her mother and I are nearly the same weight, and I've lost a lot of weight too! But her mother is the one who gets all the skinny comments, whereas I'm still "curvy" and "voluptuous". I know that she appreciates my figure a lot and means those words to be compliments, but again... the dumb part of my brain doesn't see it that way. :(

Can anyone else relate?

[Tip] I always have a heater by me
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 14:21:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4auy3b/i_always_have_a_heater_by_me/
---
Cause Im always freezing, no matter what I weigh. Anyway, I found out about toasted skin syndrome and I have it from sitting right on top of the heater 99% during the cold days. That's the weirdest name but it's like I have a permanent Web tan on my calves. So psa. Don't sit right next to the heater and be like me.

[Discussion] ladies who are larger-chested, when you started losing weight, did they change?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Thu Mar 17 14:18:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4auxk5/ladies_who_are_largerchested_when_you_started/
---
yes yes, i know everyone loses weight differently and all boobies are made up of different % fat/tissue. i'm 5'2" and a 36DD and i've had them since puberty. i was just wondering if you went down a cup size or two as you lost?

[Discussion] Favorite ED Books?
/u/perplexedketoer [5'2 | CW: 135 | GW 100 | | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 13:59:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4auudq/favorite_ed_books/
---
I saw a post about an ED quote in a book (I'd link to it if I could but I'm on mobile) and was wondering what your favorite ED Books are? Especially if they're inspiring in any way shape or form!


I just realized reading is a great distraction from food :)

[Goal] Don't stop! Don't give up! x-post from /r/bulimia
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 13:54:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4autkt/dont_stop_dont_give_up_xpost_from_rbulimia/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/bulimia/comments/4ar1s3/one_year/

[Goal] Body check. (NSFW)
/u/losemore [5'10 | 145 | 20.8 | -44 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 13:09:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aum9g/body_check_nsfw/
---
http://imgur.com/VSAboU0

[Goal] Today was lovely
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 17 12:25:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4auf2e/today_was_lovely/
---
I had a long long day at work and probably burned 2300 kcal this day. And I made some zoodles with mushrooms and tomato and could have two plates full for only 270 kcal! It was lovely, filling and ugh, I needed this.

For the zoodles I made:

- 1 zuchinni (31)

- 400g of mushrooms (88)

- 400g canned tomatoes (96)

- garlic to taste

- 2 dried tomatoes (12)

- optional: chili sauce (12)

This was probably enough for two people, but hey, I worked hard

[Help] I feel like I'm in the freaking Twilight Zone here...
/u/thininsp
Created: Thu Mar 17 12:19:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aue2q/i_feel_like_im_in_the_freaking_twilight_zone_here/
---
So my weight has gotten down to the point where I am wearing a pair of size 8 jeans I had bought after I gave birth because I figured I'd need something to wear while I lost the baby weight.... um... yeah only took me two friggin years to need them, but anyway. So I have a drawer full of size 2/4 jeans waiting for me. The size 8s are actually too big, and I can put on the 4s and button them, etc and they aren't uncomfortable but they squish my waist in a bit and I feel so gross in them. It's ok! I will be in them soon. I need more than one friggin pair of pants to wear though so i went to the thrift store today to get something. A size 6 should fit great. I tried on the 3 pairs they had. OMG guys I couldn't even button them. Like not even close. What the ever loving fuck? The pair I am wearing is Levi, the pairs of jeans in my drawer are a mix. Some Old Navy, etc. They all fit, I tried them all on just yesterday!! So what the hell. I felt like I was in some sort of alternate universe where I didn't really lose any weight and i am still massively fat.

I'm kind of freaking out.

[Rant/Rave] My knees hurt so much
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 11:30:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4au68d/my_knees_hurt_so_much/
---
I started walking last week. l like walking and the weather was really nice. I started out with 3 miles, but doing 6 since this week. My hips and knees hurt really bad right now, it's terrible, ugh. I just want to complain about them, haha. I hope it gets better when my body gets used to this?

Do you have any similar pains or things?

[Thinspo] [x-posted from r/truethinspo] St. Patrick's Day Thinspo Album
/u/calorified
Created: Thu Mar 17 10:07:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atskb/xposted_from_rtruethinspo_st_patricks_day_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/9K0k7

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 17 10:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atrll/daily_food_diary_march_17_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] The scale is finally moving down again, all I had to do was stop fasting
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Mar 17 09:44:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ato3q/the_scale_is_finally_moving_down_again_all_i_had/
---
The binges took a huge toll all of last month and left me feeling completely out of control. Then I had a revelation, the binges started when I added fasting to my restricting. As soon as I went back to high calorie restricting (800-1000), the scale has started to budge again!



[Goal] Finally reached my first goal
/u/PippiLee97 [5'7"| 149lbs | 23.6 | -18lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 09:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atkle/finally_reached_my_first_goal/
---
I haven't been in the 40's since about 2014 leading into 2015. At the time I had started birth control (though I know I'm more to blame than the pill) and ballooned from 135 to 167.

I met a guy I really, really like, and I guess he has helped me stay on track. It feels so good to reach a goal, no matter how tiny.

[Tip] lost 7 and 1/2 lbs!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 17 09:22:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atk12/lost_7_and_12_lbs/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Sore bones
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 08:52:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4atelk/sore_bones/
---
So, it's been 5 years since I had this little fat over my bones and I'm starting to wake up sore. Especially the lower part of my ribcage and my hip points are sore in the morning. Perhaps because I usually sleep on my side?

How do you guys sleep when you're at lower bodyfat %s to cushion your bones? I like my ever-shrinking size, but I don't like waking up feeling like I fell down a flight of stairs.

[Help] Time for food scale I guess
/u/Highlyunattractive
Created: Thu Mar 17 08:00:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4at4x0/time_for_food_scale_i_guess/
---
Yesturday I had 500 calories, it really didn't even seem like I made it up to that even. I checked the scale and I didn't lose, I still weigh 76.5lbs Mind you I didn't excercise and stayed in bed most the day. I'm still sad over this, I always hear 500 calories is way deficit. Anyway, I couldn't be sure I counted correctly because I don't own a scale.


Can someone give me advise on where to find a food scale? I've never seen one in store that counts calories, just grams and other.
Where did you find yours? Are they Online only? I'm in Canada so that may be why I'm having a rough time finding.

[Discussion] "I will thin and pure like a glass cup..."
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | too fat | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 07:36:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4at0pr/i_will_thin_and_pure_like_a_glass_cup/
---
"...Empty. Pure as light. Music. I move my hands over my body - my shoulders, my collarbone, my rib cage, my hip bones like part of an animal skull, my small thighs. In the mirror my face is pale and my eyes look bruised. My hair is pale and thin and the light comes through. I could be a lot younger than seventeen. I could be a child still, untouched.ā€

This is a quote from one of my favorite books by my favorite author - The Hanged Man by Francesca Lia Block. It's not usually listed with the typical ED books people read, but I highly recommend it. Her writing pulls me in and makes me forget about life and food for a while...

Does anyone else have any lesser known quotes they hold on to for motivation?

Edit: be*** dammit

[Discussion] Mental disorders and eating disorders
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | 154 | -12 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 07:24:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asyix/mental_disorders_and_eating_disorders/
---
So I got to thinking today about what kind of mental disorders correlate with eating disorders. For example, I have both bipolar disorder and binge eating disorder and my binging/restricting correlates with my mania/depression.

Does anyone else have something similar??

[Rant/Rave] Happy St. Patricks day! I'm celebrating by not eating any of the free food at work.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 07:06:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asvb8/happy_st_patricks_day_im_celebrating_by_not/
---
I walked into work today and was greeted by a tray of Irish themed cupcakes. A dozen of them, plump and shiny and full of fat, sitting in the kitchen, right outside my office. Im so done with this week that I simply stood in front of them for a moment, sighed "are you fucking kidding me?" And trudged to my office with my apple. it's still early. More people will come in with more holiday themed food, and I am not. Going. To eat. any of it. Fuck. That.

Tempting free food just looks like more bullshit I have to deal with now. I am not going to waste my time and intake on a stupid box mix cupcake, no one is going to guilt me into it.

We usually have this feeling, where if there's free food and you don't eat it it's kind of a wasted opportunity. I like to see it as, if you take the free junk food and you didn't plan on it, you're still wasting the food, it's just that now, youre wrecking your plan for the day too.

Hey, if you can live with an extra cupcake here or there, more power to you. I wish I was you. But I can't afford to feel wracked with guilt anymore over succumbing to spontaneous offerings and cravings. I'm not going to be hungry, I'm going to be strong. Empty. Light. Free.

Just a rant. Thanks for listening.

[Rant/Rave] Managed to eat >300 calories less than my limit two days in a row...
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Mar 17 06:28:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asp2x/managed_to_eat_300_calories_less_than_my_limit/
---
And I ate everything I wanted! It feels great. Exercise is an excellent appetite suppressant for me, apparently. Which makes things even better, because I burned about an additional 400 calories yesterday through exercise! Yay!

For those of you who are interested, I try to eat 1,000 calories a day because I exercise heavily. However, this week I've been doing so and ending up with <650-700 calories a day consumed. I feel great!

Thanks for the support. You guys and gals have been incredible! :)

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 17 06:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asm3e/weekly_emotional_support_march_17_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] Italy in the summer.
/u/thishour [64 in | 115 lbs | | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 05:41:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ask0s/italy_in_the_summer/
---
I am going to Italy in the summer and I have had an UGW that I have never hit. It's 99 lbs. I have had this goal for 4 years now.

This is it ladies, I fasted very well last week and binged the weekend through Wednesday and told myself it was okay, well.

It's not, it is not okay to be an uncivilized animal and have no control over my eating habits, I have control and I can do this.

This shouldn't be this hard, I am stronger than what I put in my mouth.

I feel happy skinny and unhappy when I eat. I am going to be skipping breakfast, eating a very very light lunch and a light dinner to get me through.

This is it, and I will do it.
I will look beautiful in Italy.
I will not waste a trip.
I am strong.

[Help] Any ideas about how to fix this issue? Weekends are never a fun time for me
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | 95.7 | 17.43 | -22 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 17 04:58:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4asfuf/any_ideas_about_how_to_fix_this_issue_weekends/
---
http://imgur.com/Ep9fUE9

[Rant/Rave] Fasting tomorrow.
/u/thin-kitty [5'6 | 134 | 22.6 | -101 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 23:39:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4arp7l/fasting_tomorrow/
---
I have been binging so much lately for some reason and I really need to get my sense of self control back. Nothing but water and maybe a tiny bit of juice tomorrow. I can't reverse all this progress I've made or I think I'll seriously go crazy.

I'll probably just be chugging my water and hanging out here tomorrow. It helps to be among people who understand.

/endrant

[Rant/Rave] Managed to get myself hospitalized.
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Wed Mar 16 23:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4arnrw/managed_to_get_myself_hospitalized/
---
Not really sure where I'm going from here. After yesterday where I ate nothing and then drank vodka, today I woke up dehydrated, dizzy, weak, and couldn't even sit up. My friend came over and insisted on taking me to the ER. So far they've given me some fluids by IV and drew some blood.

I'm so scared right now.

[Rant/Rave] Just had a bath that really helped me out
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 23:16:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4armrl/just_had_a_bath_that_really_helped_me_out/
---
On mobile, sorry no flair.
I just took a bath with a Lush bath bomb for the first time in a really really long time. Since I moved into my condo 5 weeks ago, the only "me time" I've had has been driving to/from work in my car. In the water I was able to feel the water displacement more than it should be, my rolls of fat as I sat down, like a little spare tire. My legs are weak and my arms are flabby. I have lots of my face too. I'm more determined than ever since I finally had fucking time by myself to take before pics for weight loss. I love my bf so much but this needs to be a secret for a while and I can't do that without some alone time.
Successfully took my first EC stack today, barely ate dinner when it was pizza and he offered chocolate ice cream. It's nice not feeling hungry at all, I could really get used to this when I'm not working so much and I have time to work out and not have anyone notice if I don't eat all day.
Pardon my stoned, post bath, EC stacked brain

My husband is making me emotionally binge eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 22:30:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ari0b/my_husband_is_making_me_emotionally_binge_eat/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] [rant] sometimes I just hate my boyfriend.
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 21:56:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4are53/rant_sometimes_i_just_hate_my_boyfriend/
---
He just doesn't get it. He keeps asking me for nudes and its late and I have just binged and he says "oh you are beautiful" and then like 3 seconds later asks me again. No it doesn't fucking work like that. If I can't like my body enough to put something as normal as good in it, how the fuck am I supposed to take a naked photo? And telling me I'm beautiful doesn't change the fact that I am scrutinizing every flaw in that photo.

He is just telling me things so he can get what he wants.

[Rant/Rave] Horrible day
/u/dsprngact [4'10 | 119 | 26.6|-34| female]
Created: Wed Mar 16 21:54:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4arduu/horrible_day/
---
Today was overwhelming. I had advising for next semester and turns out I have to take 18 hours next semester to catch up to junior status. I also found out that I didn't get into the summer research internship that I really wanted to.

So I binged. And to punish myself further, I didn't purge. I feel like a miserable failure. I hate myself. Business as usual.

Just wanted to rant.

[Tip] Instead of binging what should I do?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Wed Mar 16 21:21:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ara1s/instead_of_binging_what_should_i_do/
---
I am trying to brain storm ways to occupy my time when I really want to binge. I go to school every day accept the weekends and had hours of time after school usually to fill. I don't like watching tv and usually spend time on other subs or sometimes watching netflix. what are some active ways to pass the time and keep me from binging.

what do you do to distract yourself or just as a hobby? I have been looking to pick up a new hobby or two.

[Rant/Rave] I haven't been very active as of late
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 180lbs | too much | 0 | Male]
Created: Wed Mar 16 21:10:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ar8mg/i_havent_been_very_active_as_of_late/
---
I used to be more active a month or so ago but things have gone really south in my life. I struggle with Bipolar disorder and gained a bunch of weight after being in a state of mania and depression and what seemed like only a couple weeks has left me struggling immensely. I can't control myself and don't feel like I belong among all of you beautiful people. I have strongly considered killing myself all accept for that fact that I can't do that to my family and my girlfriend.

Here I am writing a massive rant to you all. I feel alone and isolated. I don't see my friends anymore. I go to class and sometimes to the gym but whatever progress I make at the gym seems to be undone by the next binge. I have had a real problem binging the last two weeks. I binged every day for a week and here I sit now at 180lbs roughly what i would give to go back to below 170 and I don't know how long it will take. I keep trying to fast and try and lose weight quicker but after a single day I cave and eat too much. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel the fat keeping me from wearing some of my clothes. I feel worthless and broken. I feel like I royally fucked myself over and like it will take forever to reach my goals at this point. What I would give just to be 20lbs lighter like i was a few weeks ago but here I am 180lb. I need to get back down. I need to keep myself distracted so I might be lurking and posting more here but I can't make any promises. I just want to be smaller. I don't want to get any bigger. I feel every time i put on more weight i die a little inside. My perceived self value diminishes. I need to get a grip. I need to control myself.



[Discussion] Video Game character thinspo?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 20:01:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqzna/video_game_character_thinspo/
---
I love [Jinx](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FtuEF_PIuR0/maxresdefault.jpg) and [Battle Bunny Riven](http://orig09.deviantart.net/acd7/f/2012/348/8/d/battle_bunny_riven_by_knockwurst-d5o2n8u.jpg), but I have a hard time finding really slim female characters. Most of them are busty and have thicker thighs, so I was wondering if you guys had any other favorites?

Accountability
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Wed Mar 16 19:47:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqxtv/accountability/
---
[removed]

[Help] Horrible, massive, ever-perpetuating fuckups
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 19:41:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqx39/horrible_massive_everperpetuating_fuckups/
---
So these past few weeks have been horrible for me. It's been exactly 3 weeks since I reached my flair weight (97.8 lbs). And I have since gained nearly 10 pounds (I'm way too ashamed to update my flair). 10 pounds in 3 fucking weeks. That'd mean an average of Ā±3000 calories a day which, honestly, with the amount I've been binging, is pretty possible meaning very little of this is water weight. I absolutely hate myself for it, but I haven't been this suicidal in a long time which makes it really hard to care. I'm turning to binging as a way to punish myself for being fat, which I know is absolutely ridiculous and counter-productive but self harm is kinda my thing so I don't know how to stop. I'm really scared that I've just fucked everything up and I'll never become thin. Considering eating 500kcal more than planned is considered a huge binge by most people here, I feel like there's no way anyone's fucked up this much. Kinda wondering if anyone's fallen this deep into a binge-cycle and still gotten out of it & gotten back to losing weight (please comment if you have, I'm desperate for motivation). If not, let this post serve to make you feel better about yourself, because hey, no matter how much you've fucked up today, at least you're not me :)

[Goal] Ribs
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 113| 21.41| F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 19:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aquvu/ribs/
---
As I was getting ready to shower last night, I looked myself over in the mirror. Sucking in, checking for bones, jiggling and pinching the problem areas. Like I do every night. Ya know how it is.

And I noticed that I can see my ribcage on my back! It's barely noticeable and I have to bend over a little to see it, but its there, peeking out to say hello. I'm one baby step closer to my goals.

Now to not ruin everything by eating all the chocolate in sight. Fuck you shark week!

[Rant/Rave] A few desperate thoughts about frequent eating...
/u/MymlanOhlin
Created: Wed Mar 16 17:14:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqcvk/a_few_desperate_thoughts_about_frequent_eating/
---
Let's start this off by saying that I'm mostly sedentary. I hate saying it, byt it's the truth. I was never good at any type of sport, I am flat footed, and I'm diagnosed with severe depression. Now, this is not necessarily a death sentence for someone with an eating disorder, being sedentary just means that you would lower your daily intake of food to suit the amount of calories burned by your body's normal activity like breathing, sitting, pumping blood etc. Sounds reasonable, huh? Well apparently not!

I'm at my wit's end here. I tend to eat as much nutritious food as I can, but my body just rebels just a couple of hours later. I will be eating some oatmeal with skim milk and peanutbutter for protein, which really fills me up, only to find my body needing more just 1 or 2 hours later. I'm not talking about my brain craving chocolate 1 or 2 hours later - I'm talking headaches, migranes, sluggishness and even falling asleep because I'm exhausted (remember that this is while being sedentary). It's like my body just ignores the nutrition it JUST got, and it feels like I've gone 24 hours (not just 2) without food.

I eat around 1400 calories per day which is the proper amount for me, but if I want to not fall asleep sitting upright in the middle of the day, I need to cross that border. It just doesn't make sense and I'm desperate for help. Gah!

[Rant/Rave] Up 2 lbs
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 17:09:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aqc5s/up_2_lbs/
---
And yes it is the end of the world. I have been having so many issues with binging and nobody in my outside life understands. My bf can eat whatever he wants and my family is all morbidly obese. The scale reads 110.2 and I was at 107.4. I have fucked up. This has been over a course of 3 weeks. I'm trying to turn around but I feel angry and discouraged. My binge/restrict cycle is fucked. Abd ive been drinking beer again in the spirit of summer. Fml. I usually just do liquor. The weed has made the binges INSANE. And my daughter is at a really whiny phase of her toddlerdom. It's just a whole cacophony of bullshit going on.

[Rant/Rave] Must get back on track after vacation.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 16:52:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aq9oi/must_get_back_on_track_after_vacation/
---
I was eating 'normal', aka binge mode, for like a week on vacation. And now I have to get back on track. I only gained like 3 lbs, I'm sure mostly water, but I can't let this get any further out of hand. It's so hard to go back, carbs and sugar are so addicting. Just writing this for myself, to say that I'm getting up early in the morning and running, and eating sensibly tomorrow, and fasting or at least under 500 this weekend. Must get my fat ass back on track!

[Goal] Baby Collarbone Progress
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 15:44:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apzjr/baby_collarbone_progress/
---
http://imgur.com/yWMMhLp

[Help] I just binged on 12 cups of white cheddar smart pop and I feel like I'm going to die
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 15:08:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apu03/i_just_binged_on_12_cups_of_white_cheddar_smart/
---
Honestly I wouldnt call this a binge calorie-wise because I fit it into the day, but I seriously need help because my stomach feels like it has a thousand needles poking out of it and I even had TUMs and how do i get rid of this discomfort? I feel like I'm about to burst :(

[Help] Worried about muscle loss-anyone experienced with this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 14:40:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4appg3/worried_about_muscle_lossanyone_experienced_with/
---
I just went on a vacation where I actually managed to eat between 1500 and 2000 calories a day despite people watching and with some exercise, so I was pleased.

I started the trip at 112.4, and since I've been back I've binged and ate a little more than 2000 yesterday. The scale this morning said 109.8. How is that possible?

This makes me scared because I usually lift weights and didn't for at least two weeks--the week before and the week of vacation--so I think I probably just lost muscle weight.

Anyone who's usually pretty muscled experienced with dropping weight despite eating higher calories/exercising less? Is this just water weight fluctuations? Help

[Discussion] Psyllium Husk?
/u/vigil_morgenstein [5'4" | CW 122lbs | UGW 96lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 14:35:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apopm/psyllium_husk/
---
Has anyone tried it? Got some today and tried a couple of teaspoons in water - that was 6 hours ago and I still feel ridiculously full, which is a weird and unpleasant sensation but feels good to know it's just husk and not food!

Anyone else tried it? Any tips? Anything I need to watch out for?

[Help] Fuck today.
/u/boochix [5ft3 | Massive | -28lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 14:13:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apl6o/fuck_today/
---
I started off so well. Then my daughter was being grouchy, my SO is away at work and won't be home for three weeks and I am still fighting this fucking PPD.

I binged. Bad.

I am trying so hard not to purge as I am currently being treated for really bad gum disease which is now causing my jaw bone to receed, due to the last 8 years of mia, and I am on the verge of losing my front teeth.

Really struggling today.

[Tip] 258 calorie pasta
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Wed Mar 16 14:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apjki/258_calorie_pasta/
---
Noodles 220
Broth 10
Tomato 11
Onion 08
Spinach 09
(Calories on the right)

[Help] Chewing and spitting...?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 13:50:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aphjp/chewing_and_spitting/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Instagram accounts?
/u/thinsignificant
Created: Wed Mar 16 13:45:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apgpv/instagram_accounts/
---
Just got an Instagram (I'm a bit behind on that fad, I know) any recommended weightloss/thinspo accounts? Also if anyone has an Instagram I'd love to follow that!

[Discussion] Purging at work?
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 13:18:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4apcf7/purging_at_work/
---
I have to eat lunch at work because I work with my husband. Do you guys purge at work? If so, what do you do if somebody walks in half-way through? I have it happen all the time then have to stop and leave and then go back, and it's so annoying and hard on my throat.

Also, how long after you eat do you consider it "not worth it" to purge because you're barely getting any calories? I had a meeting when I got back from lunch so wasn't able to purge until 1 1/2 hours later. I seemed to have gotten it most out though. I'm thinking consider that 50% of the calories eaten?

[Tip] weight loss tips, funny comics, misc??
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 16 12:56:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ap8wy/weight_loss_tips_funny_comics_misc/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Gjf9u

[Rant/Rave] "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you're gaining weight."
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 12:10:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ap1c1/dont_take_this_the_wrong_way_but_i_think_youre/
---
THANKS HUSBAND. IT'S 5 LBS AND MONTHLY CYCLE BLOATING AND I WAS CROSSING MY FINGERS IT WASN'T THAT NOTICEABLE BUT NOW I KNOW IT IS.



"Don't take this the wrong way..." Oh, I didn't know there was a *correct* way to react when someone tells you you're looking FATTER.



On the flip side, this is exactly the kick in the ass I needed.

[Rant/Rave] So tomorrow I'm starting again at day treatment center
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 11:36:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aovri/so_tomorrow_im_starting_again_at_day_treatment/
---
I'm not sure if day treatment center is the right translation... It's kind of like partial hospitalization where you only spend the days, and in the evening you go home.

Well anyway, when I got back home from residential treatment last fall I was there for a few months and it was agreed that I go back there periodically for a two-three weeks at a time.

I really wouldn't like to. And now my doctor wants me to be there for a longer time because I've lost "so much" weight and I'm so depressed. Blergh. I could have said no, because naturally they can't force me to do anything I don't want to do.

But it's not that bad. It's general psychiatry, not specialized in EDs and they don't really watch what I eat or IF I eat. And even if they did, it's like I said, they can't force me, I'm not that underweight. My plan is to eat only lunch there(they serve also breakfast and a snack in the afternoon) and try to eat nothing else for the rest of the day.

But I still wouldn't like to go. First,I feel bad because I'm taking a place from someone who would be actually motivated to get better- I'm there just wasting their time and my own really. Other thing is that the food there is more carb- and calorieheavy than what I cook for myself, and I can't know calorie counts for sure... And there's more discussions than in outpatient, so it means I have to listen like three times a week how I should eat more and purge less. And they will check my weight weekly.

This post really hasn't a point except I'm quite stressed out right now and wanted to talk about it.

[Rant/Rave] I guess I've finally accepted it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 11:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aosfd/i_guess_ive_finally_accepted_it/
---
[removed]

[Tip] Do not eyeball your calories.
/u/thishour [64 in | 115 lbs | | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 11:09:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aorcr/do_not_eyeball_your_calories/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjKPIcI51lU

[Rant/Rave] Just bought a bathroom scale - eeep
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 10:45:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aonk9/just_bought_a_bathroom_scale_eeep/
---
Today, I left my house and went to a store (big deal for me, I'm a total recluse) bought a bathroom scale without my SO's knowledge. I smuggled it into the house and hid under some clothes in my dresser.

I feel guilty that I went behind his back but shit, I haven't weighed myself in 15 days and I'm terrified that I've gained weight. I've been logging my meals, but not calculating totals, so I guess this will tell me if I've gained or lost. I have to wait for the right opportunity cause my SO is retired and the only time I'm alone is when he goes to the grocery store.

I'm worried that the scale I bought is not accurate. What if I bought a piece of crap scale??? I couldn't spend too much money, and I found a few bad reviews. Makes me very nervous. **What is a good way to know if your scale is off?** I have no idea!

I don't know why I'm being so sneaky about all this. For the most part, my excuses are easily accepted. I know I've lost at least 10lbs since Feb and it's killing me that nobody has noticed; yet I don't want anyone to notice cause I have no intentions of stopping till I'm skinny enough.

The last time my ED got out of hand, I was completely oblivious. I subconsciously cut food out of my life bit by bit and I had no freaking idea that what I was doing was abnormal. I used every excuse in the book to convince myself nothing was wrong.

Fast forward four years and recovery and 50+ lbs, I know EXACTLY what I'm doing. I'm jumping in with eyes wide open. I know better but I don't have any fucks to give. I won't stop until I'm skinny enough. I hope I will know when I'm skinny enough.

**Does anyone ever feel skinny enough?**

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 16 10:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aogj3/daily_food_diary_march_16_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 16, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Weird rib pressure after weight loss?
/u/Etcherss
Created: Wed Mar 16 09:51:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aoeqs/weird_rib_pressure_after_weight_loss/
---
Has anyone experienced this?

I lost a lot of weight and now I've got this weird pressure on the bottom of my rib cage. It's not pain exactly and more like discomfort. I have the urge to squeeze down on them with my arm lightly and that makes it feel a bit better. It's near impossible to get comfortable.

I've seen some people other places say that they've experienced this from dramatic weight loss but I could find fuck all info.

Thanks!

[Goal] So, I fucked up. Here's what I'm going to do about it. [Post-binge list]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 09:23:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aoabb/so_i_fucked_up_heres_what_im_going_to_do_about_it/
---
Hey guys,

It had been a **long** time since I last binged, and when I did, I felt like shit. Thankfully, the binge wasn't **way** too high calorie, but I still felt overstuffed and like crap. It was bound to happen one day, so here's what I'm going to do about it.

* Don't beat yourself up **too** hard. Yeah, you fucked up, but you can rebound from this EASILY.
* Chug some good liquids. I had two cups of green tea, and a glass of sparkling water- I felt better.
* Exercise! I worked off most of the binge at the gym, and exercising can also clear your head.
* My binge was before I slept, so the next morning, I decided that I would eat cleanly and gently restrict again.
* Lastly, (and maybe most importantly), remember how you felt. I wrote down all of the shitty emotions that I felt. Next time you want to binge, look at that list. Thinspo and quotes can only do so much - only you know how you feel. (And maybe some of the people on this sub :P)

Stay Skinny! X

[Rant/Rave] Bad shit happened. Really bad shit.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:53:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anwb7/bad_shit_happened_really_bad_shit/
---
The Humane Society where I live burned down. I volunteered there a lot. I know all the cats by name and personality. I think all the cats survived but the news hasn't said anything about it. The fire started in the puppy room ): and 72 dogs died, 11 survived. Imagine losing one pet you love, now imagine losing 72+ all at once. To distract me from the pain I'm going to put even more focus on losing weight and counting calories.

[Thinspo] Don't quit. Stay focused.
/u/jippityjuniper [5'7" | 148 | 23.10 | -20 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:52:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anw5b/dont_quit_stay_focused/
---
http://imgur.com/TbWmgCE

[Thinspo] Finished the drawing!
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:48:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anvfr/finished_the_drawing/
---
http://shangenspo.tumblr.com/post/141145007589/finished-im-happy-with-this-0-woaaah-that

[Discussion] Restaurants
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:31:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ansop/restaurants/
---
My husband is taking me to a nice restaurant this evening, and I'm full of anxiety. I hate eating out, especially at restaurants that don't include calorie counts. I've been looking at the menu all day, trying to determine what's the lowest calorie item I can order.

What do you do when you know going to a restaurant is imminent? What kind of food do you order?

I always try and push my husband to tapas or sushi places because we can order several small plates and I can get away with eating way less...

[Thinspo] Hands/Nails
/u/skieze [bmi: 20.93]
Created: Wed Mar 16 07:12:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anpzr/handsnails/
---
http://i.imgur.com/acBMVmY.jpg

[Help] How do you guys kick really specific cravings?
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 06:50:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anncn/how_do_you_guys_kick_really_specific_cravings/
---
I'm in dire need of 46 pounds of Reese's peanut butter cups and granted I've not yet gone out and bought them it's driving me batty.

All I can think about is how much I want one and how much I don't have one.

I tried to satisfy it with peanut butter...nothing. I tried a cup of hot cocoa...nothing. I even went so far as to have a few chocolate covered peanuts and...nope. Still craving.

And it's been like four days. So when you guys get on really specific kicks how do you get rid of them? I know myself and my habits and at this point I won't be satisfied until I eat enough of them to make myself cry.

Even EC stacking, which usually demolishes any thought of food, has not touched this one.

Blech. I guess my saving grace is that I don't keep any sweets in the house, otherwise I would have likely burnt through all of them by now.

[Tip] Found something awesome I had to share.
/u/SweaterFerret
Created: Wed Mar 16 05:51:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anfaj/found_something_awesome_i_had_to_share/
---
https://imgur.com/kHx9IPr
(Sorry for the ugly chubby fingers)
I never post anything or pictures so hopefully I didn't mess anything up cause I do everything on mobile. Haha.

Anyway I found this at the store yesterday and its Bigelow Brand Tea that is suppose to taste like a girl scout cookie! Honestly thought it'd suck but it tastes awesome!!! Its great to help sweet cravings. I drink it plain but I bet it tastes good with sugar or honey too. I'm planning on buying more lol. There was also a Thin Mint one which I haven't tried.
Here's a Amazon link if you can't find any near you; http://goo.gl/x5Y3VJ

[Intro] After lurking on here for a looong time, here's a post of my newly returned thigh gap! Happy :-)
/u/danimarie95
Created: Wed Mar 16 05:20:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4anbfy/after_lurking_on_here_for_a_looong_time_heres_a/
---
http://imgur.com/UYELI8n

[Discussion] Male inspiration?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 05:06:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4an9vt/male_inspiration/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Artistic Thinspo: women, with some men sprinkled in
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 16 03:57:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4an2iv/artistic_thinspo_women_with_some_men_sprinkled_in/
---
https://imgur.com/a/yIsOZ

[Rant/Rave] Had it with my counseling
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Wed Mar 16 00:48:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4amn0c/had_it_with_my_counseling/
---
I'm done with them. I started seeing them a couple months ago. My AN (restrictive type) basically turned into BED for a bit then I got it sort of back under control, lost a bit, started binging again, blah blah blah. Pretty sure I relapsed last week but then my mom came into town and fed me. And fed me. And then fed me some more.

Today at my appointment, after noting that I had gained 7 pounds in 2 months, I was accused of not even trying. That really set me off, and I just walked out. I'm done. Done, done, done. I'm going back to being me.

[Discussion] Insanity
/u/kly_0301 [5'2" | 132 | 24.14 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 16 00:41:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4amm9l/insanity/
---
I started insanity workout videos yesterday and my energy level is low (actually,this "low energy" feeling makes me feel good). But I'm wondering if any of you have tried this and if you could share your experience doing insanity or any high intensity workout + restricting.

[Rant/Rave] im a bad person
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Tue Mar 15 23:00:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4amc3u/im_a_bad_person/
---
i know my friend has ED issues too and today i got these cookie ice cream sandwhiches for my friends bday.... my other friend with ed issues missed the bday and then i asked her if she wanted one. she said yes. then asked for more. i brought her the whole box. she ate 5. I hate myself for kinda being happy that i made her gain and i ate nothing. URGH WHY DO I DO THAT. I FEEL REALLY BAD TOO

[Help] Guys, I'm freaking out- it's like I gained ten pounds overnight.
/u/TheDevilsRectum [5'6" | CW 110 | GW 105 |17.83 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 21:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4alxvn/guys_im_freaking_out_its_like_i_gained_ten_pounds/
---
I started exercising about three weeks ago and I have gained ten pounds. I haven't changed my caloric intake at all and I have read the articles about how it's normal for the scale to go up a little when you first start exercising, but something just doesn't seem right. I feel out of control and really upset.... like 5'6" 120 lbs. is not underweight, and being underweight is a big part of what makes me feel good about myself. My waist and thigh measurements have also both gone up an inch. I'm freaking out. I don't want to be a normal sized girl, I want to be super thin. Please tell me this is just inflammation and water weight :/

What kind of work outs do you guys do to stay thin, whispy, waifish, and perfect?

[Rant/Rave] When you're the only one who knows it's a race
/u/fantomlvr [5' 6" | 185.6 | 30.08 | -24.8 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 18:51:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4alfi3/when_youre_the_only_one_who_knows_its_a_race/
---
Everything is a competition. Everything. You can't walk in the front door without competing with your pets to see who can meow the loudest. Type A at its finest, right?

Well, my boyfriend has decided that he's not eating any processed sugars or carbs (sort of like keto, but he's not going to go all out and count macros or anything). And now it's a competition. He has no idea that I'm going to kick his ass.

No sugars? I'm down. I'm way more down than he is. No bread? Fucker, I've been there for weeks, I'm winning by a mile.

But my stupid competitive brain is so angry and all I can think is that he must be doing it to try and prove that he's better than me, even though I can logically tell myself that it isn't true. I don't know.

Anyway, methods of motivation can be so weird.

[Discussion] Left treatment 3 weeks ago and think I'm ready to come back.
/u/casschips
Created: Tue Mar 15 18:38:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aldn1/left_treatment_3_weeks_ago_and_think_im_ready_to/
---
I used to love visiting and participating in this community up until 6 months ago. I started treatment and actually really liked it, but now that I've been out for a few weeks, I crave my ED.

The idea of turning my back on everything I learned in treatment is terrifying. It was such hard work, and I really thought I was ready. But now I feel my ED seducing me back, and when I restrict and exercise I get that amazing high. I'm still seeing an outpatient therapist once a week but we had to cancel last week and now I feel like I don't even want to go back.

Have any of you left treatment to come back? I feel alone and am missing the community feel. But I think I'd rather find it here...

[Rant/Rave] Welp, I guess I'm going on a fast now
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 18:25:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4albmo/welp_i_guess_im_going_on_a_fast_now/
---
I binged so much today and resisted the urge to purge which I guess is a good thing but my ED driven brain can only be disgusted with myself and I still want to purge even though I binged hours ago and know it won't help. Anyways, I need to go on a fast now because this needs to stop and I really need to keep seeing the numbers drop. I can't let myself gain any more weight. I find myself so repulsive and maybe if I reach my goal weight then the guy I have a complicated history with will want me again instead of the my backstabbing bitch of a friend he's asking to prom. GOD I'm just so mad at myself right now I can't believe I let myself get so fucking fat.


Ok, before I get too heated about this I'm going to take a couple of breaths. I feel a little better getting this out of me but I'm just ridiculously upset right now.

[Rant/Rave] "I don't like you so skinny, it seems like you will break if I touch you"
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 17:21:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4al1yi/i_dont_like_you_so_skinny_it_seems_like_you_will/
---
Listen that from the lips of someone gave me satisfaction. I was weak my whole life, but only at this time someone was realizing my fragility. I need more. I need to see the bones of my back, the pointed ribs that hurts when you sleep. Sweet pain.

[Help] Heart problems/chest pain
/u/Zowitz [171cm | 53 kg | 18.1 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 17:18:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4al1gg/heart_problemschest_pain/
---
I had a really good day (250 calories after workout) but the minute I lay down to sleep I get chest pains and a really slow heartbeat, only to get a fast heartbeat when sitting up. I got pretty freaked out and made some oatmeal to try to stop the pain.

Anyways have anyone else experienced this? I'll probably have to up my daily intake to 500 cals for a while to prevent this. Is there any way to stop this?

[Help] EC stack/Bronkaid - need input
/u/BitchingIntensifies [5'8"| Too much | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 16:50:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4akx3e/ec_stackbronkaid_need_input/
---
Question for any of you that may know the answer.

In my state, you can't buy Bronkaid without a prescription. But on Thursday I'll be in a state where you can.

Are they going to deny me when they see my id is from a state where it isn't OTC? Having someone else buy isn't an option.

[Rant/Rave] LOL at my animalistic brain when I engage in a planned binge
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 16:44:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4akw7t/lol_at_my_animalistic_brain_when_i_engage_in_a/
---
I went on a week long trip for a music festival with my boyfriend/all of our friends. I restricted so so so so so well. I ate minimal and healthy to "upkeep energy levels" (lose excess weight by restricting and dancing my ass of all day). However, we went to a famous street one night and went out to dinner to try the local cuisine. I knew it was a binge night, I acknolwedged it, came to terms with it, and decided to enjoy it. I ordered whatever I wanted, which was insanely high in calories, and ate it happily. I noticed at one point, my boyfriend extended his hand to my plate to try one piece of breaded shrimp and a couple of fries. Externally, I smiled and said, "it's so good right!? :D" but internally, I snapped. Like wow, my adrenaline flew through the roof and I felt my face get red hot and my breathing staggered and I even started to shake a little. I was so so so annoyed when I looked at him eating my food and frankly....irate. I thought to myself, holy shit, rarely do I get this intensely angry. Rarely is anger even an emotion I get. I guess this taught me that when I PLAN a binge, I get CRAZY selfish over my allotted food. Its like, it's mine and I get every single parcel because I never get to have it.

But of course no rational person thinks this way, so I kept smiling until the anger faded and then I just laughed at ED logic and went about the rest of my night happily.

TLDR; I become like a savaged, starved, selfish, instinctual animal when I have my planned binge in front of me.

[Discussion] Break ups and EDs.
/u/paradisedeparted [5'3" | 110 | 20.02 | -18 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 16:29:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aku10/break_ups_and_eds/
---
So, I recently got dumped by my boyfriend (I think he cheated on me) and I'm super depressed so I haven't been eating. I'm afraid if I eat anything it will make me binge very badly or something. If any of you experienced a break up before, how did you make sure you didn't lose any progress, etc.? I want to get skinny and make him regret throwing me away. Basically, I really want to hear about your experiences with breakups and how they impact your ed.

[Rant/Rave] Why the fuck would she ask that?
/u/sheelalala
Created: Tue Mar 15 14:57:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4akf9s/why_the_fuck_would_she_ask_that/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Dear scale,
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 12:40:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajseu/dear_scale/
---
No, I am not losing over a pound a day. No, I did not lose two pounds since yesterday. I'm very flattered that you think so, but you need to stop buttering me up and do your job. This has been going on for over a week, and I'm getting sick of it. Do you have any idea what my TDEE would have to be to lose 9 pounds in 8 days?! That's right, scale, I would have to run a marathon on an empty stomach every day. So you can clearly see that you're being ridiculous, and you need to calm down. If this is your way of acting out because you want a new battery, you'll just have to suck it up and wait until I can afford it.

[Rant/Rave] Why the fuck would she ask that?
/u/sheelalala
Created: Tue Mar 15 12:23:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajpl7/why_the_fuck_would_she_ask_that/
---
Oh god, today this really annoying girl from my class asked really loudly if i ever eat. (i dont eat at school because i'm gonna binge as soon as i get home anyway and I tend to have things under control at school)

But I just started stumbling the usual stuff I tell my mum like "I eat at school" and other nonsense and now a lot of people heard this and oh my *fucking* god she won't stop bothering me about this...

I'm not even skinny, like more on the chubby side of things but now some people got suspicious and I'm kinda freaking out right now, so sorry if this makes no sense.


[Discussion] A weird realisation about my relationship with coffee (A bit TMI)
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 118.0 | 20.65 | 107 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 12:22:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajpdq/a_weird_realisation_about_my_relationship_with/
---
If numbers are to be believed from studies run on things like this, I am one of the 30% of people (that number seems so small compared to all the stories I've heard from others, but /shrug) who experience a "strong laxative effect" from coffee.

In high school and college, especially where I spent my teen years (Oregon), coffee shops were the norm for socialisation, and don't get me wrong, I love the taste of it but I was never one of those people that had to have it to start my day.

So I'm sitting here swirling my cup of coffee and I realised that somewhere along the line, drinking a pot of coffee has become a means of purging for me. Any time I have a day prior that I eat too much, binge or not, the next day always has two things: A pot of coffee and a full 24 to 48 hour fast, except for said coffee and water. It's not even a situation where I wake up and think "Actually, a cup of coffee would be perfection." It's more like "Ugh... I need this out of me now, better brew some coffee."

Anyone else come to find themselves doing things not normally thought of as "fixes" for the lone reason of "fixing"? My follow up thought was "Well, Twosi, there's WORSE ways you could be doing this... sigh."

[Discussion] Question.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Tue Mar 15 11:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajkw9/question/
---
Why are my arms sore if I've only been running and biking? I haven't even been lifting weights or anything. Is it my muscle breaking down?

[Rant/Rave] Back To Tt [rant]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 11:25:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajg01/back_to_tt_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I was feeling shitty about my weight loss and then I did the math.
/u/thininsp
Created: Tue Mar 15 11:20:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajf9r/i_was_feeling_shitty_about_my_weight_loss_and/
---
This morning I weighed in at 129.2. I was happy with that because it is less than yesterday, but still frustrated that I am not at my goal of 104 yet. Then I stopped and counted days. It's been 76 days since I talked to my husband about needing him to back down and let me lose weight. I have lost 27lbs in that time period. That's 11 weeks. That's over 2lbs per week on average. At 5'2 with a TDEE of 1450, that's pretty good (basically if I ate nothing every day for 7 days I would lose 2.9lbs). I'm still not happy, but at least I have something to try and focus on rather than focusing on not hitting my goal.

[Help] Save me from the skinnyfat! :(
/u/Wh1ppetB0nes
Created: Tue Mar 15 10:56:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ajbbz/save_me_from_the_skinnyfat/
---
You guys, I am so, so skinnyfat. I'm like Michael Cera with tits, holy shit :( I think it might have to do with a lack of protein in my diet - I eat a lot of oatmeal and veg, I guess, since I'm a pescatarian, and fish is quite pricy. I'be had a bad stretch of binges and I have at least 10lbs to lose, but I'm scared I'll drop more muscle before I drop the fat.

I was just wondering, has anyone here managed to go from skinnyfat, to just plain skinny (or toned? I'd be okay with that too). How did you do it? I'm so self-conscious, I'm not sure I have it in my to lift weights at a gym or anything...

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 15 10:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aj2m2/daily_food_diary_march_15_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 15, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Just having a better day
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 09:37:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aiyh9/just_having_a_better_day/
---
Thanks for all your support yesterday, guys, today is going way better on the hangry front.

I found powdered french onion soup in my pantry (20 calories per serving!) and I'm drinking that today. Started the day with a 3-mile walk and a huge cup of coffee too, which felt great.

Plus, today is the 15th, which means I took my progress pictures. I only lost 4 lbs since the last ones, but I actually think I see change. Maybe it's just muscle growth slowing my weight loss? I don't know. But I am encouraged all the same!

[Progress pics](http://i.imgur.com/bFr2W4K.png) I'm 141 on the left and 137 on the right with a month between pictures, but I can see a definite firming up of things so that's exciting.

Thanks for being you, guys. I love you all, Marta.

[Discussion] Stupid reddit ads :)
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 09:34:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aixwa/stupid_reddit_ads/
---
http://imgur.com/Ie2IKwI

[Help] Starting EC stack with a headcold?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 09:22:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aiw17/starting_ec_stack_with_a_headcold/
---
Hello all. I finally got my order of Bronkaid and some caffeine and was wondering if I should start today or some other time. I have a nasty headcold (but still have to come to work, since it's my last week and we're short-handed) and just want to die from that, but I still want to suppress my appetite and get some energy. Your thoughts?

[Rant/Rave] Smoking weed makes me binge but I can't stop smoking.
/u/ferrous_wwheel [5'9" | CW 151 lbs | UGW 125 LBS | -14 lbs | female]
Created: Tue Mar 15 07:17:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aidx9/smoking_weed_makes_me_binge_but_i_cant_stop/
---
I'm starting an ssri (Zoloft) in addition to the Wellbutrin and Vyvanse I'm already prescribed. Hopefully that means I won't have to smoke weed 24/7 to feel like the world is bearable.

I've been able to purge when I really feel like I've done too much but I'm still frustrated. I just want to be able to quit smoking completely and finally start my fast FOR REAL.


I've done it plenty of times before and suddenly I feel like I have no idea how to control myself, all because of this dumb FucCKING drug.



Sorry, needed to vent to literally anyone who is pro-ED.

[Rant/Rave] Life is just a trip
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 06:43:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ai9iv/life_is_just_a_trip/
---
So I didn't eat anything for 3.5 days! I have been drinking water, carbonated flavoured water, coffee, a little bouillon and chewing sugarfree gum. It was surprisingly easy!

Today I wasn't hungry but I got kind of scared because I fainted 3 times.. So I dragged myself to the shop. I've broken the fast with a protein bar, and I've got some mushrooms for later. Weird, I know! But I've come up with a meal plan starting tomorrow that I'm going to try. It's going to be like 795 calories, which right now I feel is a lot but I'm going to at least try it. That way I can look more 'normal' to my housemates by actually preparing something. Smaller deficit, but it will have more nutrients than I've been getting lately and will be better/more sustainable in the long run..

I actually quite enjoyed the fast, though! It made me feel pretty good, I think I would have carried on if I didn't have so much uni work to do. Today walking to the shop was quite nice, everything was all dreamy and a bit trippy. *Inside* the shop was a whole different matter, though!! So stressful. Sometimes I do dislike being like this.. Such a bittersweet relationship! *sigh*

Anyway! I think I got ok results from the fast, definitely less disgusting fat I can pinch on me, thigh gap has grown.. I really don't understand what I'm seeing when I look in the mirror though, I seem to change into a completely different person in minutes! And I still desperately need to either find a place to get weighed or buy some scales for myself!

Wah, rambly rant/rave! Has anyone else got experience of fasting? (For me this was kind of an accident, I just didn't get hungry, very interesting though.) And does anyone have any meal plans they like to stick to? I need to find ways of getting more protein, less sugar!

[Rant/Rave] Well I am going on a fast.
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 05:34:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ai1gt/well_i_am_going_on_a_fast/
---
Yep so I have been gaining while under my limit for the past 3 days. I have gone up like 4 lbs. what the fuck is up with that?

I'm just gonna go on a fast to correct it for at least 24 hours.

[Help] Yet another question about how to slim the thighs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 04:46:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahwop/yet_another_question_about_how_to_slim_the_thighs/
---
[deleted]

[Help] feeling sick?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 04:01:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahspc/feeling_sick/
---
[deleted]

[Help] This is gonna be one big TMI post
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Mar 15 03:46:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahri4/this_is_gonna_be_one_big_tmi_post/
---
So, you've been warned.

I took 7 laxatives yesterday (I binged and wanted to both hurt myself and get it out) and after a really shitty (haha) night they are still working. Have an 8 hour shift and ehm, what can I do? Can't call in sick.. Should I just not drink/eat anything till I come home from work or..?

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Tattoo thinspo!
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 03:46:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahrfr/thinspo_tattoo_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/OBZbU

[Goal] I need to get myself out of this cycle...
/u/30secondsto130 [5'8" | 161 | 24.2 | -15 | M]
Created: Tue Mar 15 01:32:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahglh/i_need_to_get_myself_out_of_this_cycle/
---
Hi /r/ProEd.

I am posting this here, because like many of you, I need a sense of accountability to stop myself from failing. Perhaps, by posting here, where other people can see it, I will feel more compelled to reach my goals. I have tried, many, many times before, but perhaps this approach will be the driving force that gets me out of this B/P hell, and hopefully, leads me to never binge again.

To start, I want to identify why I B/P. It is tied to greed, boredom, a sense of comfort, of ā€˜letting go and not caringā€™. One thing I have been doing more and more lately is to switch on some TV, get a plate of shit, and shovel it into my face, like a mindless zombie. It is a bad, bad habit and it needs to change. I feel so incredibly disgusting and I want to kill myself. I need to focus on art, going for a walk, talking to friends, that kind of thing.

The hard part is usually how miserable I get while restricting. It becomes a source of excuses to why I should eat. ā€˜I canā€™t study, I need more foodā€™. Or ā€˜Iā€™m irritable, some food would make me more amicableā€™. This type of thinking needs to stop, because over all else the thing I want to be the most is skinny. Then I will be truly happy, so for now, I will suffer and endure. In the end, it will be worth it, even if I am in a bad mood for a few days.

The trouble is, I fucked up guys. Real real real bad. I have gained over 55lbs more than my lowest weight. I am a fatty, and when I look in the mirror I just want it all to end. The most horrible part about it all, though, is waking up, and feeling trapped inside of my own body, knowing that for the near future, I will be fat, and no matter how much I exerisize or fast that day it will not change. I think my problem before is thinking restriction is a sprint rather than a marathon, and that consistency is the key to all else.

So, I will tolerate this body that I have, and not run to food because it makes me miserable, rather, use it as motivation to not eat. If binging got me here, why do it again?

**Here are some of my goals/Rules**

* Get into the 150ā€™s by 15th of April. It is still so, so not where I want to be, but it will be a start. I need something to shoot for. That leaves me roughly a month. 4 weeks. I can do it, but restriction will need to be good, and absolutely no binges. I will not plan for longer than this now, because so many things could derail me by then it is better to have a short term weight goal.

* At least two fasted day per week. (Non-consecutive).

* Track everything through MFP. Post in the daily food diaries and write about how I felt that day.

* If I am forced to eat and I go above my caloric limit, exercise the calories off. I am allowed 500 calories per day, but importantly, this is NET. If I run 10 miles, I can eat 1300, etc. Going under is allowed if feeling like it, but going over is DEFINITELY not.

* Only eat safe foods. Binge foods will be listed below, and will never be indulged upon again.

* No hard exercise on fast days.

* Read this post once in the morning, once at night, and reflect on it for 5 minutes.

* Weight yourself once each morning, and track.

**Things that could prevent me from reaching my goals:**

**Social Eating**

This is a huge one. Family dinners, parties, and drinks down the pub are all situations where it is very easy to say fuck it, and ruin the day. For this, I would say, plan, plan, and plan in advance. While I am there, the general rule is to eat as little as I am allowed without raising suspicion. I will inevitably end up eating, but this is not an issue, if I plan to exercise before or after the meal to burn off the excess. Don't feel obligated to not say no to something if it is rude! If you didn't you would get no-where.

**Plain olā€™ lack of willpower**

Before I eat something I shouldnā€™t, I need to :

1. Look at thinspo
1. Make a black Coffee
1. Go for a walk
1. Draw something
1. Do some homework
1. Do some bodyweight stuff
1. Read a chapter of a book
1. Look at yourself in the mirror, take a picture
1. Try chewing and spitting something
1. If you STILL want to eat it, eat it, but you will have to pay for it by running/cycling later that day.

**Eating meals where I cannot track calories**
Here, it can be very easy to overeat. The general rule for these meals should be, eat half portions, fill up on veggies, and push food around the plate to make it seem as if you are eating more. Exersize later, in order to ā€˜catchā€™ any excess calories. This is particularly a problem as most days I must eat in a canteen, where there is no way for me to measure ingredients, weight, etc, etc.

**Binge Foods/Drinks**

Pizza

Ice Cream

Sweets/Deserts in General

Carb-y foods (Scones, bread, pastries, HUGE binge foods).

Chips

Fried anything

Non diet drinks

Alcohol

Chocolate Spread, Peanut butter, honey

Bananas :(

//

I know I can do this. Thank you guys for being so amazing x

PEACE





[Help] How to deal with being sad (without overeating)?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:50:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahcyh/how_to_deal_with_being_sad_without_overeating/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Fml I purged for the first time yesterday night
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 99 lbs | 17.58 | -55 lbs]
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:48:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahcqb/fml_i_purged_for_the_first_time_yesterday_night/
---
Had already tried to so often, but now I succeeded, not a lot came out, but it's the first time anything did, so well fuck. Idk what to do next. Tmi, but is it weird that it was just sweet and slimey? I fear I might have this disease thingy where food can stay in the esophagus. :s

(Also on mobile again so I can't choose a flair)

[Rant/Rave] This weekend I broke down and opened up
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:44:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ahcfd/this_weekend_i_broke_down_and_opened_up/
---
This weekend I went on a trip up to Montreal with my boyfriend and his bandmates to help as merch girl or worked the door while they played a few shows. I had been restricting and working out so I felt confident wearing the tight dresses I had brought along rather than the ones that would flare out and hide my tummy.

Saturday we went out for brunch as a group. I didn't want to show red flags by ordering just coffee, so I got an egg white veggie omelette too. I was planning on hiking Mont Royal that afternoon anyhow so no biggie. Then the owner brought us all free chocolate strudels since some of the boys in the band befriended him during their last trip up. AHHHH! I had to eat it, or else it would be rude. Bitch had to top it off with whipped cream and chocolate sauce too.

Ok. So I guess I'm running up a mountain for most of the afternoon now. But no most of the guys want to come along for this hike. Now it's a group thing. Now I have to go their pace. Now I have to hike 1/8th of what I intended at 1/2 the speed.

We get back and the bandmates left for dinner leaving my bf and I by ourselves. I planned on getting something tiny from the vegan cafe down the way so I could have something in front of him. He wants us to get Thai. I keep looking at all the rice, noodles, and can't think of anything light enough and I'm internally bugging because now I'm going to look like a beached whale at his show tonight.

He sensed my bad energy and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I broke down and told him the truth. All of it. Where this stems from, all the extreme things I put myself through, the daily struggle, why no accomplishment is as great as a day without eating because if I can't control something as simple as my eating habits then I've failed regardless, that I want to feel empty, tiny, and light as a feather in his arms, that I get scared because I know that this will haunt me for my whole life and I'll never be good enough because I'll always see the me that I used to be in the mirror...

I was shaking and crying and felt guilty that I ruined his whole trip. But he held me. He told me he thought that I was beautiful, but knows that I'll never believe him so he just needs to tell me more. He said he'll have to throw me around more often (he does jiu jitsu and I help him run moves) so I'll learn to understand how tiny I really am. That anytime I feel like binging to call him and he'll distract me until the craving passes. Most of all he told me how much he wholeheartedly loves me. We're a team. I am him and he is me. He knows me and no matter what I tell him it will never make him want to leave. He was supportive without lecturing me.

Being so upset I ended up skipping eating that night which he understood and he couldn't stop touching me affectionately and telling me how beautiful I looked in my dress. The next day when we were alone he asked if his eating healthier around me would help at all as a sign of solidarity. It was really sweet. I'm honestly not sure what he could do to help that he isn't doing already. I am so lucky to have someone like this in m life and I feel a little less broken.

I also found out I'm getting life changing news regarding school on wednesday from a vague school email and I freaked and binged hard. Now I'm planning a two day fast because I can't control what happens at this meeting, but at least I can control what I put inside of me until then. Bad habits die hard and I should've called him, but I didn't want to be a bother. I hope I can learn to accept his help rather than waste it.

[Rant/Rave] Gained :(
/u/pineapplesandham [5'3 | 96.5 lbs | 17.6 | -10 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:19:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aha5i/gained/
---
Idk what it is, but the scale is up 1.5 pounds from 96 to 97.5 and I'm pissed. Maybe it's fat, maybe it's water weight. I think I'll do 800 calories tomorrow again. I know that sounds like a lot but any less and I'll definitely binge.

[Rant/Rave] Rant/Rave Feeling really triggered right now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 15 00:06:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ah8u1/rantrave_feeling_really_triggered_right_now/
---
[deleted]

ThŠ¾usŠ°nds of Š¼en and wŠ¾Š¼eŠæ lŠ¾oking fŠ¾r one's sŠ¾uŠ† Š¼ate here
/u/barlasslamp92895
Created: Mon Mar 14 22:01:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4agusc/thŠ¾usŠ°nds_of_Š¼en_and_wŠ¾Š¼eŠæ_lŠ¾oking_fŠ¾r_ones_sŠ¾uі/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlfXea-P2Hg

[Rant/Rave] Fuck.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Mon Mar 14 20:17:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aggov/fuck/
---
I binged. I fucking binged. I'm taking a caffeine pill tonight and I'm going to burn as many calories as I can.

Fuck.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Mon Mar 14 20:17:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aggnw/fuck/
---
[removed]

[Help] Am I being realistic?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 20:12:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4agfzz/am_i_being_realistic/
---
DarcyNycole is 69 inches and less than 100 lbs. at 5 foot 9 I don't see how that can look like... well like she does.

My question is my original plan was to be underweight somewhere in the 115-120 range. Is it possible for there to be another 20 pounds less than me and still look as she or others do?

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] angry, exhausted.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Mar 14 19:56:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4agdkc/rant_angry_exhausted/
---
I am binge-fest queen. I was eating under 800 cals for two weeks and lost ten pounds, then the scanner didn't budge for 5 days despite me restricting further and drinking water and all the jazz. So i binged. Then the day after i did too. This time the food wasntveven good i just stuffed myself?? I'm so mad. I have to go to a hockey game tomorrow and I really don't want to. I'm destined to be a little Piggie my entire life I guess.

[Rant/Rave] Nothing like an underwear clad model to make to want to restrict.
/u/sewnp [168cm | GW:90lbs | NB]
Created: Mon Mar 14 19:42:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4agbbc/nothing_like_an_underwear_clad_model_to_make_to/
---
It's been weird forever. I've lost weight, my wrists and knees are getting tiny. I figured that setting smaller short term goals on the road to my long term goal are the best for me to be encouraged. Food has always been an emotional support too because I never had anything else that comforted me. Now, I see these underwear clad models on television and I find myself struck with the harsh reality that I'm not there yet.

EDIT: i messed up my title wow

[Discussion] How do you guys feel about raspberry key tones?
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Mon Mar 14 19:13:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ag6st/how_do_you_guys_feel_about_raspberry_key_tones/
---
Just picked up a couple bottles, I'm curious about the effects and any advice and your guy's experience

[Goal] NO MORE PURGING
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 18:33:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ag0l4/no_more_purging/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Give me all your appetite suppressing tips
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 17:24:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afq8u/give_me_all_your_appetite_suppressing_tips/
---
Guys, I am so hungry. So hungry all the time. All I can think about is food. My stomach positively throbs with hunger 90% of the time. I chew gum, drink tea, drink ice water, exercise, distract myself, eat small meals slowly throughout the day, stand in front of the mirror naked and shame myself silly and still: hungry.

My restriction was 700 calories, then I increased it to 800, then to 1000 a day, just to try to help myself get through the day. I'm dizzy, exhausted, grumpy, positively HANGRY even on 1000 calories. Which is pigging out by my standards.

And here I am the woman whose previous daily diets consisted of things like half a Slim Jim, or a quarter cup of bran cereal and a banana. What happened? Why won't my body let me be skinny and beautiful?

[Goal] Hit my first goal weight
/u/lilaclia [5'4" | 113.2 | 19.4 | -9.8 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 17:12:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afofv/hit_my_first_goal_weight/
---
I started (relapsed) at 123 lbs and made it to 115! Just wanted to share my happiness with someone :)

[Rant/Rave] I always feel so scummy for doing this
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:37:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afiyl/i_always_feel_so_scummy_for_doing_this/
---
Does anybody else like to eat a lot in front of their larger friends? I love hearing them talk about how jealous they are that I "can eat whatever I want and still be skinny."
For a second it makes me feel like it's effortless, but then I remember whenever I do that I fast for days after.

I kind of feel scummy and like a bad friend when I do this but I can't stop, it's just nice to know that I can still eat a cheeseburger every once in a while and my friends think I'm just effortlessly skinny, they have no idea.

Soup
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:21:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afgd6/soup/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] How do you know when you have an eating disorder?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:09:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afefs/how_do_you_know_when_you_have_an_eating_disorder/
---
I cringed writing that title because it's such a dumb question. I've read the DSM. I know the criteria. I know what I would tell someone if they asked this question. So I don't know why I'm so confused. My therapist keeps fucking with my head and making me doubt myself.


This might sound weird coming from someone who spends a lot of time in the proED subreddit, but although there have been times in my life where I've considered myself to have an eating disorder, right now isn't one of them. I'm here because there's nowhere else in the world that I can talk about this stuff, but I don't feel like I'm out of control or like my life revolves around it. It would be insanely easy for me to go into the kitchen right now and make a bunch of toast and eat all of it without ever thinking about the calories ~~or worrying about weight gain or even feeling guilty~~ (ok, maybe I'd feel guilty, but so would lots of people). I'm not happy with my body but I don't hate it either. I don't fast. I don't binge. I don't purge. I've only been dieting for 4 months! I eat 800 calories a day of nutrient-rich food... sometimes lower, but also sometimes higher. My average last week was closer to 900. It just feels completely factually incorrect to say that I have an ED.

My therapist keeps trying to tell me that I'm anorexic, but the DSM-V criteria for anorexia is so vague that anyone who's underweight and doesn't want to gain weight could qualify, and my therapist is, frankly, oversensitive. I mean, I know that not everything I'm doing is healthy, but I can't even acknowledge that to her because she keeps making it into this big thing that it's not. I just feel extremely frustrated because there's nothing I can say to her about it because denying it makes it sound even more like I have one. What's the term for that phenomenon where denying something makes you sound guilty? That.

Sorry for ranting, I just spent an hour arguing with my therapist about this. I really don't know why she's on my ass, it's not like I even talk to her about weight loss. Anyways, how did you know when you'd crossed the line from "normal" to "disordered"?

Edit: Thanks for the responses. I'll give it some thought.

[Rant/Rave] Here is the follow up for the sweater <3 Seriously, so in love c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afdej/here_is_the_follow_up_for_the_sweater_3_seriously/
---
http://imgur.com/a/R1eX0

[Tip] [TIP] I posted this on /r/1200isplenty but I think you guys would like this too. Caramel Apple Pops are not your average 60kcal sucker/sugar treat and heres why
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 16:01:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4afd1f/tip_i_posted_this_on_r1200isplenty_but_i_think/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Super hangry juice fast
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Mon Mar 14 15:07:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4af44e/super_hangry_juice_fast/
---
I am so hangry today.

I don't even feel hungry, but I'm irritated and frustrated and have this lack focus and motivation. I know it is because i haven't eaten. I am trying to juice fast for a few days and I am holding off as long as I can take it but I feel like I'm going to break for emotional reasons.

Any tips?

[Rant/Rave] My grandpa is in town, and we went shopping, and he got me this super cute sweater from Talbots, it's a size PS, and I'm super excited because it's loose! And comfy <3 I'll post an OOTD when I get back from school c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 14:09:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aeudi/my_grandpa_is_in_town_and_we_went_shopping_and_he/
---
http://imgur.com/a/KpWRx

[Rant/Rave] God I really want to shoot myself
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 14 13:58:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aesi9/god_i_really_want_to_shoot_myself/
---
I probably ate like a pound of sweets on top of my 400 kcal I had planned. I fucking hate myself. Oh my god, kill me. Please.

[Discussion] Watching food videos to stave off cravings?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 12:51:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aeh0e/watching_food_videos_to_stave_off_cravings/
---
So sometimes when I have some super cravings, I pull up a playlist of recipe videos from myvirginkitchen. It's a British cooking channel but they also do giant foods/desserts which I find great, because usually there's such a massive amount of butter/chocolate that it starts to disgust me. Either way, they are my guilty pleasure substitute for binging.

I also found a new channel called foodsurgeon, which is tbh really weird. They do "food surgeries", which has a very clinical way of taking apart and putting together different foods...honestly it almost makes me squeamish, and also squashes my appetite.

Does anyone else have any YouTube channels you like for indulging in food videos/watching recipes? I'd love some more channels to follow for when I need it, Whether they make food look delicious or disgusting.

[Rant/Rave] I give up.
/u/iToldAnotherLieToday [5'7 | 115 | 18.01 | Just Started | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 12:28:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aed3p/i_give_up/
---
Hi all -- this is toritxtornado. I deleted my intro on my other profile and decided to use my throwaway instead for this sub. I don't think anyone checks my post history, but there are a couple people who know my name (including my husband), so I figured I'd rather be safe.

I give up. I tried to take a picture and post it, but I am so damn ashamed. I feel like such a fraud. I used to be a good little anorexic. Now I am healthy. It should not be acceptable that I'm at weight that's called beautiful. I should be at weight that's called terrifying, sick, unhealthy, skeletal.

I only have one month of my eating disorder left until I do IVF and get pregnant. I was going to try to do well for the next month, but now I see it as a month left where I can act on behaviors. If I'm skinnier when I get pregnant, that's less I'll have to lose after the baby.

So far I've purged lunch. I don't eat breakfast. I'll restrict at dinner, but I have no idea what we're gonna have, so I don't know what I'll eat. I also need to buy a scale.

[Discussion] EC stack vs adderall?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 12:08:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ae9pb/ec_stack_vs_adderall/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] The best zero calorie drink ever! It is also packed with vitamins!
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Mon Mar 14 11:41:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ae4ys/the_best_zero_calorie_drink_ever_it_is_also/
---
http://imgur.com/tTigCxV

[Goal] I'm taking the peanut butter out of the trashcan
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Mar 14 10:52:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adwip/im_taking_the_peanut_butter_out_of_the_trashcan/
---
If I ever want food to lose it's power over me, I have to prove that I'm not afraid of it. I binged on PB I bought for a salad dressing recipe yesterday and tossed the rest so I wouldn't be tempted again today.

But as long as I treat it as if it's stronger than me, it will continue to be. So my goal this week is to cross peanut butter off my "fear food" list by proving to myself that I AM in control, NOT the food.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 14 10:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adocg/daily_food_diary_march_14_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 14, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Ugh more rambles
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 10:01:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ado97/ugh_more_rambles/
---
[deleted]

[Help] SHIT
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 09:53:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adn15/shit/
---
I'm writing this from a parking lot in front of a Starbucks.

I went to the doctor for ear/jaw pain, I didn't waterload since I didn't think they'd weigh me. With my clothes and heavy boots, I weighed 94.6lbs on their scale, I weighed 97.4lbs a few months ago on their record. I'm like 99% sure that doctors office wasn't ever told about my AN diagnosis, but the doctor I saw today (not my normal one) didn't believe my story of the jaw pain causing the weight loss. She pretty much just brushed off the thing I made the damn appointment for and only wanted to talk about my weight (2 pounds is NOTHING, even when you're underweight. I'm not even underweight by the kid's BMI chart!!). She told me to get blood work done including 'comprehensive metabolic panel' and TSH. I'm not sure what the others are for, but to be safe I drove over to Starbucks and got a pastry and a latte to artificially Jack up my sugar and triglycerides. I'm so scared, the freedom I have right now is the reason I'm happier and able to eat more. If I have someone watching me all the time and making sure I eat I'm gonna go right back to the angry, depressed hole I literally just got out of. Im not wholly against recovery, but I don't agree with psychiatry and the usual way they go about treatment. I'm just so scared now. I shouldve just fucking waterloaded

[Goal] Weird compliments and comments
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 09:53:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4admya/weird_compliments_and_comments/
---
I don't want to sound rude and brag but I need to tell someone about my small accomplishments since I have no one in real life to share them with who will understand. Typically I hate body comments at all but I've been trying to cheer myself up and look at them in a positive light. The other day my mom told me I didn't need to lose more weight and said I was lucky I wore such a small size (we were clothes shopping) because small sizes that don't get purchased go on sale. This made me happy until I had to buy a medium in a fitted dress. Ugh. I love dresses, but my wide hips makes them awkward fitting and hard for me to wear. I guess I can always cut the label out lol. Also she complimented my food choices and how healthy they were. I tend to eat only veggies now in order to stay within my calorie limit (800) so my food is always colorful and pretty which makes me happy. Also my brother told me I looked skinny and then said he loved how tiny I was which made my life because he's 30 Ib underweight and huge on fat hating so it means a lot coming from him. Also my boyfriend said he loved my boney chest (I had mentioned it prior) and tiny legs and how sharp my hipbones are. I'm so lucky to have someone who appreciates tiny features since the trend these days are big butts and boobs. Hopefully when I lose these last 9 Ib (goal is 95 Ib), I will get more compliments.

[Help] Bought laxatives, what can I expect?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 08:41:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adc8d/bought_laxatives_what_can_i_expect/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Finally broke my plateau
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Mon Mar 14 08:30:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4adas2/finally_broke_my_plateau/
---
I hardly lost ANYTHING this month. I hoovered around 97.6-99 and barely budged. Well, today I am 97 lbs, even. Finally. I won't make my goal of 93 lbs by March 17th (original February goal), but it's silly that that small amount is good enough for now.


Okay, now onward to 93 lbs. I didn't binge/purge yesterday for the first time in weeks, which helped me move to this new number. I can't ruin it. I'm only 4 lbs away from this goal. It can be easy if I exercise some self-control.

[Discussion] My reasons to quit binging.
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 08:03:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ad756/my_reasons_to_quit_binging/
---
Hey guys, this is a list that I keep on my phone, and I thought you would enjoy it :)

* I'll lose weight
* I'll be beautiful
* My crush might like me back 0-0
* I can look weightless
* I can be delicate
* Boys can carry me easily
* I can wear stuff that I couldn't before
* I feel awful after a binge
* It's a waste of food
* The worst feeling is entering a binge into MFP
* I don't want to stay fat
* I don't want to fail everyone on this sub.


Can you comment your reasons below, so I can add stuff to my list?

[Help] I need to get my shit together again
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 07:19:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ad1py/i_need_to_get_my_shit_together_again/
---
I keep binging and buying food. This needs to stop and I know I can. But depression is getting the best of me right now and that I can't stop. I'm going out for a long walk later today, but I already ate so much and I feel so tired. I just want to get back into bed. Why is it so hard to get my shit back together again. I really need to make lists and such to stop this. And buy some gum, damn.

Anyone got some tips or advice (or harsh words) to get my shit together again? And if someone knows some magical way to make money without a job, please let me know. I'm fucking broke right now and I can't get a job.

[Discussion] Sucking on things to help with cravings?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 06:28:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4acvup/sucking_on_things_to_help_with_cravings/
---
Since chewing gum has been hurting my jaw, I've been sucking on Ricola to curb my cravings.

Do you guys have any other suggestions? Lollipops or jolly ranchers would work if I don't suck on them often.

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! March 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 14 06:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4act9o/weekly_stats_update_march_14_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 14, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] I'm freaking out.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 14 05:40:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4acr7a/im_freaking_out/
---
[deleted]

[Help] the never ending pit that is my stomach
/u/lymfp [5'3" | 109.6 | 19.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 03:58:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4achnc/the_never_ending_pit_that_is_my_stomach/
---
To make a long story short:

I have been binging *soo* much lately, and it seems that with each binge i consume more than the last binge, resulting in crippling nausea and stomach pain.

i've also noticed within the past few months i've lost the normal full or satiated feeling that i used to get after a decently sized meal before i had an ed.

i am either empty, or stuffed to the point of pain.
i'm not saying that i want recovery, but it would be nice to not binge sometimes solely because i can't tell when i don't need any more food in my stomach.

ahhhhh i don't know if anyone will be able to relate or anything but i really, really don't want to bring up my ed with my new therapist :(





[Discussion] Thoughts on sodium?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | 95.7 | 17.43 | -22 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 03:56:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4achhh/thoughts_on_sodium/
---
I've always taken the opinion that I'll drink as much damn broth as I like if it will stop me from binging, puffy face and 2 kg the next day be damned (3 stock cubes today as proof), but I've noticed that not everyone holds the same opinion. What are your personal quirks about salt?

[Rant/Rave] Woke up feeling so skinny
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 14 03:46:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4acgo6/woke_up_feeling_so_skinny/
---
My bones felt like they were sticking out, stepped on the scale and.. 0.7 kg heavier than yesterday. Well fuck, time for a 400 kcal day.

[Discussion] Calories you don't count?
/u/amidala12
Created: Mon Mar 14 02:25:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aca7j/calories_you_dont_count/
---
When I first started counting, yes I counted everything down to chewing gum. I slowly began trusting my habits and my new knowledge of portions and calories and what was worth eating until I completely stopped keeping track on paper (mfp). This seemed to be ok because I have maintained for almost a year now without any long term gain when I occassionally weigh myself. The past couple of weeks I've obviously been stressed and started counting again detwemwnied to lose 5 lbs but I realized today that since I've been counting again, I don't count my almond milk. It's low cal (30 cal a cup) and i only take sips, never poor a glass but I go through at least a 1/2 to a full gallon a week. Does anyone else have a cheat like this? My weigh in results were never anything too unexpected (slight gain when i failed) slight loss when i win) but could this be detrimental to my goals? Does anyone else have a cheat and is still successful?

[Help] Help! I already pay a lot for food
/u/03l0
Created: Mon Mar 14 00:52:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ac2ds/help_i_already_pay_a_lot_for_food/
---
[removed]

[Help] Brushing teeth after purging?
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 14 00:13:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abyu3/brushing_teeth_after_purging/
---
So I know not to brush your teeth immediately after purging. I also read to drink a tiny bit of baking soda mixed with water before you purge and then rinse your mouth wth the mixture afterwards as well.

But how long should I wait before brushing my teeth? Sometimes after throwing up they feel so gross to me and I just want to make my mouth clean.

[Tip] [Tip] Vitamins (fasting, but applies across the board)
/u/BitchingIntensifies [5'8"| Too much | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 23:39:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abvfk/tip_vitamins_fasting_but_applies_across_the_board/
---
For those who need/choose to take vitamins, this may be helpful for you.

It's well known that iron can be hard to keep down. For me, even slow release creates some impressive projectile vomit in 5 mins -.-.

Even without iron, though, I was having major nausea with my vitamins, especially while fasting. Did some research, and it's either the zinc (more likely) or the vitamin B. Both can cause nausea, particularly on an empty stomach.

So if you're fasting for short periods, and you don't absolutely need it, I'd skip iron, zinc, and vitamin B until you can cushion your stomach.

For me, this means I skip my multivitamin and 1 other on fasting days.

[Rant/Rave] Thank you Monster...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 22:59:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abria/thank_you_monster/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Journey + Progress rambling
/u/thinspo2016 [5'5 | 95 | 15.8 | 35 | Male]
Created: Sun Mar 13 22:32:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abooq/journey_progress_rambling/
---
I started getting into thinspo and losing weight in novemberish, and its been a strange journey. At about Christmas time I hit my lowest weight appearance wise and was super super bony. Since then I've kind of gained a bit of bit of weight and idk here's some pictures

[me in july vs me now, an attempt at those cool buzzfeed face things](http://i.imgur.com/cuAshuX.png)



[still kind of self conscious about my legs, but people on 4chan told me that they're nice. i think my thighs are too big though](http://i.imgur.com/tC1t2tE.png)


Right now I don't feel too good about myself and my weight. My goal weight in the winter was to get down to 100 pounds, and I'm 96 now trying to get to 95. I got very sick and was around 93 for a while but I've bounced back up, and honestly idk I just feel like I'm drifting. In the past month I havent been strict on 500cals a day and I've been having more and more off days. This week, I'm going to try and completely reformat and get back on the 500cal train and stay on it. Motivation would be appreciated btw, but overall this weight loss has been so positive for me. I'm finally confident and happy with how I look. I get so many more compliments on myself and I look so flattering in clothing. I don't shy away from having my shirt off and idk I feel like a whole new person. I love this sub and everyone in it and I hope you all reach your gw's <3

PS sorry for the rant

[Help] I need help
/u/shamusgold25
Created: Sun Mar 13 22:27:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abo6o/i_need_help/
---
[removed]

[Help] Doctor's Appointment: What to Expect?
/u/loveleigh33 [5'6"| 109.0| 17.66 | -78| F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 22:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4abnz1/doctors_appointment_what_to_expect/
---
Hope everyone is doing well!

My seasonal depression is back in full force and I'm currently cycling between feelings of anxiety and emptiness. I finally caved and made a doctor's appointment to deal with my depression/anxiety.

Ideally, I'd like to go back on an antidepressant (Prozac Alumna Class of 2014) but I know counseling is probably going to be the recommended treatment. My concern is that in addition to therapy sessions, I'll be prescribed an antidepressant that increases my appetite and ultimately creates another problem for me. Would it be cause for alarm for me to request an antidepressant that doesn't increase appetite? I'm already slightly underweight and I'm not ready to seek treatment for my budding eating disorder--my concern right now is to treat my depression/anxiety.

**TL;DR:** Does anyone have any experience asking for a particular prescription from a doctor?

[Thinspo] My favorite thinspo
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Mar 13 20:10:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ab7ge/my_favorite_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ISS4J

[Goal] I am going to quit purging. LONG self-accountability post (srsly sooooo long).
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 20:00:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ab626/i_am_going_to_quit_purging_long/
---
I am quitting. I have to. For big health reasons that never seemed urgent before but are now, for little vanity related reasons, for all the reasons. I've "recovered" before and gone as long as a couple of years without an episode but it's always been a part of my life, I do it once and then there I am again, purging multiple times a day for months on end. If I don't stop before May, I will have been an active bulimic for *20 years*, fuck me.

The difference this time? I actually want to change, I'm committed to it, I want to work hard for it. Here's my plan:

- Sort of fix my relationship with food (ha...). Right now restriction is "good" foods, b/p is when I get to eat "bad" foods. But it's such a waste anyway bc it's not like I even enjoy what I'm eating when I get into b/p mode, I'm addicted to the binge and the purge, not to the foods. Harm reduction starts now by recognizing this and mitigating damage by having ONE thing I can b/p if I must (cereal with milk - sweet but not so sweet it makes me insane, easy to purge, not so calorie-dense it will make me panic and flush if I feel like I didn't get it all). Hopefully over time I will tame the b/p addiction by not constantly building in the reward of variety/convenience/endorphins with it. Other former b/p foods are on the table but only as normal foods that I just have to find a way to budget around if I really want to eat them.

- stop putting myself in situations where I feel like I have no agency over how much I eat, esp social situations where I feel pressured to eat something I don't know the counts of, overeat, which turns into a bp episode later. Either learn to say no politely or do all the things normal dieters do to deal with this (bring something to share I feel comfortable eating, look up calorie counts before, etc.)

- get serious about the $$$ impact of b/p. I'm surprisingly good at budgeting and sticking to it but b/p money has always been just sort of a slushy hole for me. If I treat it matter-of-factly like my gas bill or anything else I will actually count it and stop myself from overspending.

- start keeping a binge diary again and doing some of the discipline/mindfulness work I keep bookmarking "for later". Play the tape forward. Remind myself of how shitty I feel after, how I don't even get anything out of it any more. Build in small rewards for building the habit of not.

- reinforce how good I feel about losing when I'm losing the right way, with restriction and exercise. Keeping a weekly/daily prog pic as my phone background so I see it every time I pick it up. Writing some goal numbers on the window above the fridge. Etc.

- in general try to be a little more matter of fact about it and not so OMG ED I CANT HELP IT. This is like quitting smoking, like getting out of debt, like whatever. I have to look it in the face and cultivate some discipline to fix it.

I'm doing it this time, you guys. And I'm not going to get fat again while I do it.

I saw this reddit going through random and jesus christ this isn't healthy.
/u/Brandon65756
Created: Sun Mar 13 19:47:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4ab4bq/i_saw_this_reddit_going_through_random_and_jesus/
---
[removed]

Need an Anna buddy
/u/lacetightsandgraphit
Created: Sun Mar 13 19:02:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aay94/need_an_anna_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] I used to love collarbones
/u/anordinarypenguin [5'2''|111.8|20.45|-24|F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 17:42:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aandz/i_used_to_love_collarbones/
---
I used to love my collarbones. When I was smaller, I'd even get compliments on them. I'd look at images of collarbones and feel super inspired. Ever since I broke a clavicle a few months ago, though, I haven't felt this way. Every time I see a collarbone picture I'm reminded of my tee-peed bone, and feel put off by it.

Has anyone else broken something that used to make them feel good?

Also, has anyone else just plain broken something before? Do you feel nervous restricting with knowing your bones aren't quite right? I know I do.

[Thinspo] aesthetic thinspo (a bit different from my last album)
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 17:26:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aal7f/aesthetic_thinspo_a_bit_different_from_my_last/
---
https://imgur.com/a/AWZbj

[Discussion] What other subs do you follow?
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 17:06:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aai8c/what_other_subs_do_you_follow/
---
Mobile - no flair

Do you follow other subs for inspiration?

Right now I'm following these subs:

Skinnywithabs

Loseit

Gentlemanboners

The first one is kinda for my personal goals, I'm athletic and i want to maintain some muscle...

The second one is to kinda gross myself out a little... you know what i mean

And the third is so i can see pictures of gorgeous ladies all day... and some of my faves get posted a lot in non NSFW shots, which is nice.

Anyways, what about you?

[Help] Appetite suppressants?
/u/effyhart [5' 8" | 141 | 21.59 | -34 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 17:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aahl9/appetite_suppressants/
---
Due to the nature of my job, I'm not allowed to take ANY supplements unless a doctor approves of it first and there is no way I'm going to ask and potentially get in trouble for weight loss.

Does anyone know of any good, non-medical appetite suppressants? Natural, filling foods, etc etc? I'm not sure where to start.

[Tip] a list of things i do instead of binging
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 16:26:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aacmv/a_list_of_things_i_do_instead_of_binging/
---
http://imgur.com/Xigq6kA

[Rant/Rave] I've been tracking my weight in MFP since February 2012 and it's basically a chart of my failure to combat binge eating disorder
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 16:26:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aacit/ive_been_tracking_my_weight_in_mfp_since_february/
---
http://imgur.com/rFmkKKT

[Rant/Rave] DAE get worked up over what OTHER people eat?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 16:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aabf1/dae_get_worked_up_over_what_other_people_eat/
---
Especially when it's what you would consider "wasted" calories? Like, people who drink sugar soda/juice or coffee drinks...I'm like ZOMG I could eat so much amazing food for what you just drank in ten minutes!

Usually I'm just a little jealous of people who eat without counting or worrying about it (jealous of the attitude, never the food). But sometimes I just get so obsessed I can't stop counting what everyone else is eating, too, and calculating how much exercise I would have to do to burn it off. Sheesh.

[Thinspo] Male Thinspo Practice doodle (still WIP)
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 15:47:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aa6x7/male_thinspo_practice_doodle_still_wip/
---
http://shangenspo.tumblr.com/post/140988449174/progress-on-some-male-thinspo-practice-sketch

[Rant/Rave] ED problems: when you want to get stoned but all you have are edibles
/u/pessimisticpachyderm [5'4 | 107| 18.4| -15| F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 15:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4aa6lz/ed_problems_when_you_want_to_get_stoned_but_all/
---
I want to be high, but I don't want the calories that a pot brownie has in it. Why can't there be weed rice cakes lol

[Rant/Rave] The limits between what is nice, right and sick is very thin for some and very obvious to others
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 14:27:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9uv4/the_limits_between_what_is_nice_right_and_sick_is/
---
I'm angry. I am exhausted and i cant understand the reasons why I cant do what I do. I have good reasons for doing what I do, but people who oppose cant give me enough reasons to make me believe that what they argue is valid.
I am speaking specifically of my fasts and calorie restriction. Im very tired of my aunt being a drama queen, im tired of my friends getting bothered because i dont eat. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN EXPLAINING THEM ANYTHING! So much power do I have? I dont walk through life telling people to eat or to stop eating. Everyone is free to do what they want with their calorie intake. I'm not invading private property, I'm not evading taxes, or stealing, or killing or anything. I'm just trying to do what i want.Why do I want to? Because it makes me feel good.Enough.
I'm not afraid of dying, but that's not what I'm looking for. I dont want people to threaten me and forget what I'm capable of. I know my words can hurt more than a slap and last much longer in consciousness.

[Rant/Rave] Breakfast, lunch, and dessert for the week!
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 14:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9ren/breakfast_lunch_and_dessert_for_the_week/
---
http://imgur.com/3okBnik

[Help] Why am I yoyoing???
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Sun Mar 13 14:03:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9ra8/why_am_i_yoyoing/
---
For the past five days I've gone from 150 to 149 then back to 150 and I'm so tired of it. Ive been restricting well under 800, under 300 some days. Idk what's happening. What can I do to stop this?

[Help] MFP
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Sun Mar 13 13:25:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9lm7/mfp/
---
Okay lovelies, I've been using MyFitness Pal a lot recently and I've been doing pretty well for myself, but everyone slips and binges every once in a while. I was wondering what percentage of calories I should put in if I purge. Like, I don't know if I should put the foods in entirely or if there's a way to calculate the amount of calories I take in after I purge. Anyone have any suggestions??

[Discussion] Can anyone else relate to this short film segment XXL from the movie "ABCs of Death"? (Warning: gore, nsfw)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 13:16:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9k37/can_anyone_else_relate_to_this_short_film_segment/
---
https://youtu.be/TzA06hup85U

[Rant/Rave] Oreos for breakfast.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 12:26:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a9cml/oreos_for_breakfast/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] [PSA] If you're taking any stimulant drugs for appetite suppressants, take just enough to suppress your appetite NOT to give you extra energy.
/u/TheThinSister
Created: Sun Mar 13 11:55:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a982a/psa_if_youre_taking_any_stimulant_drugs_for/
---
I know there are some people here who are taking EC Stacks, so it's important to know this. If you're taking EC Stacks, Adderall, or any stimulant really. If you take it for an energy boost, you're going to burn yourself out and spike your tolerance. Start off on low doses and aim for just enough to help you out.

If you do need energy, drink more water in the morning. My biggest recommendation is to eat an easily digested carb-y food and some protein. Bread and peanut butter for example. Then run or do some exercise that raises your heart a bit. You may first feel tired, but you do get a lot of energy from exercising when you do it more regularly.

[Help] Is my body breaking muscles down?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Mar 13 11:42:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a966q/is_my_body_breaking_muscles_down/
---
I have a really hard time even doing 5 min of squats, I used to be able to do 15 min a month ago. I started shaking at 3 min and was about to fall down at 5. How do I stop this?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 13 10:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8sls/daily_food_diary_march_13_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 13, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I'm cutting chocolate out of my life for a while.
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 09:53:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8riq/im_cutting_chocolate_out_of_my_life_for_a_while/
---
I keep craving it. It's horrible and this week has been the worst for my cravings. I'm cutting it out of my life for a lonnnng time. I've already eaten my calorie budget, so I just need to breathe and stay in my room. All day. No more eating today I guess.

I've always wanted to fast for more than a day so I guess now, 10:54 am CST, is a good time to start it. Let the 48 hour fast begin! and the cravings shall being as well...jeez.

[Rant/Rave] Ugghhhhhh
/u/just_slightly [5'3" | 120.8 | 21.66 |-55.2 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 09:31:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8otu/ugghhhhhh/
---
What the fuck is wrong with me.

I just forced a load of bread and butter pudding with double cream down my throat even though I was feeling so sick from eating all day. Everything had been going so well in the past few days, I felt fine without food, I felt free and light and calm and in control. I'd been losing at a really good rate.

Now i'm just a ridiculous fat mess in the middle of a feeding frenzy.

Tomorrow has to be better, else i'm going to hate myself forever.



[Rant/Rave] Raves, and a rant (just starting out)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 08:49:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8jv4/raves_and_a_rant_just_starting_out/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Please help
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sun Mar 13 08:40:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a8iwc/please_help/
---
I ate less than 200 calories yesterday and today I woke up with everything pulsing, especially my stomach. My chest hurts really bad too. What are some supplements that could help? Would b12 help? I ate 395 calories for breakfast because I felt like I was going to pass out.

[Help] Best way to gain a few (temporary) pounds before a doctor's appointment?
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 13 06:49:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a87xq/best_way_to_gain_a_few_temporary_pounds_before_a/
---
I'm on the cusp of being underweight (127 and 5'9"), so it's probably not actually an issue. I'm just a little anxious that a nurse or doctor will mention something about my weight. Should I just eat a lot of sodium and drink water? Lots of carbs?

Also, if anyone is willing to share their experience about getting weighed at the doctor while close to/underweight I would appreciate it. The last time I was dealing with eating issues the nurse just commented that I had lost weight since my last visit, and that was it. But I still feel nervous.

Thanks!

[Intro] First post
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 06:18:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a85d6/first_post/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Tip: these water flavourers are so good for staying hydrated and feeling like you've had a sweet treat!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 13 03:10:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a7rec/tip_these_water_flavourers_are_so_good_for/
---
http://imgur.com/cdabdoD

[Rant/Rave] Just plain scared (vent)
/u/ThroeAwaymeron [5'2" | 121.6 | 23.04 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 23:43:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a7et6/just_plain_scared_vent/
---
So, this is a ramble.

When I was a teenager, I stayed on top of my weight, really carefully. I weighed myself all the time, never really got that thin (I think my low bmi was like 17.3). But at least I tried. Then somehow I decided I wanted to be "better" but instead of better I just got lazy and fat. Fast forward to now, late 20s, I literally don't know how much I weigh.

I've been heavily restricting again, working out again, trying to get back to where I want to be. I just bought a scale and it'll be here Monday, and I'm just so, so, SO scared to find out. I wonder if I have some sort of dysmorphia(?) because I can't even *guess* from looking at pictures, etc. I'll see someone around 130, and think, maybe I'm around there; then I'll see someone who's 160 and I'll think, oh no, I must be closer to that size.

I'm not looking for any answers or anything, and I'll find out come Monday what the damage is, but I just had to vent. I'll report in when I know and I'll keep working :/ thanks for reading this silly rant!

--
UPDATE: Okay! I got my scale today and I am blobbing along at 131.2, which is literally less than a pound away from overweight. But it's actually less than I thought. So, I have a lot of work to do, and it's actually a huge relief just to have my answer. Thank you for your support!!

[Rant/Rave] I feel so fat.
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 21:59:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a74or/i_feel_so_fat/
---
K even though I was under my calorie limit, I still feel super full and gross. I upped it today to be 800 to have some variety and it sucks. I hate this.

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel okay if they go over on the calorie limit if they've been eating veggies/fruits all day long?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 20:17:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6tjh/does_anyone_else_feel_okay_if_they_go_over_on_the/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Moved to a new place - Friendless, Fat, and Sad
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 20:17:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6tho/moved_to_a_new_place_friendless_fat_and_sad/
---
[removed]

[Help] Question about clothing sizes - may have to start buying juniors
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Sat Mar 12 20:08:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6sgw/question_about_clothing_sizes_may_have_to_start/
---
I figured this would be the best place to ask, heh.

So, I'm back on track with losing weight (a little more gradually than I'd like) and my size has gone down over time. Currently the only pants I have that fit me are my size 00 jeans from Target. Actually managed to find a pair with a 33" inseam. However, now they're getting a little loose. Leaving work today I kept having to pull them up (since I'm MtF I have very narrow hips as well) while walking out to my car.

Anyway, since I'm going to be having to buy new pants soon (yet again), where do you guys recommend I go and what sizes to start with? My friend told me that women's 0 is equivalent of juniors 3, does that sound about right? I'm also very tall, and am worried about being able to find pants long enough.



[Rant/Rave] Figured out my biggest b/p triggers today.
/u/BilboOfHouseBaggins [5'2.5 | Fat | -15lb | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 19:00:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6kez/figured_out_my_biggest_bp_triggers_today/
---
So I've come to realize that when I'm doing well in life or feel good, I find it much easier to fast or restrict.

But when I'm going through a bad time, starving just doesn't hurt enough so I end up binging and purging to hurt myself more. Like I prove myself right about being fat and disgusting by doing it. I don't know how to change this mind set. It sucks. I'm dealing with an awful break-up and a new job where I feel like I'm not good enough. My stomach is constantly in knots but somehow I manage to force 1,000 calories down my throat. I just hate that restricting doesn't hurt me enough for my liking.

Anyone else have this line of thinking?

[Help] How hard do i need to try to lose 12lbs in a month
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Sat Mar 12 17:48:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6bhg/how_hard_do_i_need_to_try_to_lose_12lbs_in_a_month/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Does anyone else...
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 12 17:42:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a6ap1/does_anyone_else/
---
Does anyone else's face go numb after running or jogging? Especially around where your eyebags would be?

[Rant/Rave] Plateauing so hard :(
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 16:49:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a63tk/plateauing_so_hard/
---
Ugh, I was doing so well, lost 6lbs in one week, kept on going until I lost a few more. Boom, shark week comes, ruins everything, been staying at the same weight since it started (3/3), and still at the same weight since it ended 3 days ago. Okay, so my caloric intake hasn't been stellar (went over 500 a few times in the past couple weeks and that one day people kept forcing me to eat until my stomach felt like bursting, 1300 calories ugh) but I should still be losing but I'm not and I think I'm gonna cry. Seriously, what the hell, body?

Could it be because of my period? :c Water retention? Is it this crazy? I'd never religiously tracked the relation between my weight and my cycle but oh my god now that I have, I am super annoyed. I swear to god if I step on the scale tomorrow and it shows me the same goddamn number I am going to flip shit and fast for as long as possible.

I'm so close to the 140s (still such a huge number!) I can taste it but goddamn this stagnant number on the scale will be the death of me.

[Tip] (Somewhat) unusual binge-prevention coping methods
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 16:34:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a61ur/somewhat_unusual_bingeprevention_coping_methods/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] #JustEDThings
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 15:58:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a5x2i/justedthings/
---
I have to laugh at myself as I sit here. Cold. Not quite shivering, but it could happen soon. And I can't decide if I want to turn up the heat and *not* be uncomfortably cold, or if I'd rather freeze because it burns more calories.

I know I've seen at least one thread like this before, but it's always good to be able to laugh at our ridiculous behaviours. There's too much to cry about. Laughter is precious.

Edit: sorry for the truly terrible post title. I don't even use twitter.

How fast could I lose 20 - 30 lbs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 15:49:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a5vwl/how_fast_could_i_lose_20_30_lbs/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] How do you guys deal with drunk binging?
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2.5" | 101.6lbs | 18.87 | -25.6 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 15:48:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a5vtl/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_drunk_binging/
---
When I drink with my friends we always end up at a fast food place at the end of the night. When I'm drunk I can't control my restricting and I end up eating more than 900 calories. It happened again last night, and I have no idea how to stop it. What do you guys do to avoid drunk binges?

[Discussion] Websites
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 12 15:06:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a5q3m/websites/
---
I can't find any Proana websites. When I search all I get is anti Proana stuff. What other sites do y'all use?

[Intro] Done lurking, allow me to introduce myself!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:57:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a586f/done_lurking_allow_me_to_introduce_myself/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Shopping for new clothes
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:57:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a585y/shopping_for_new_clothes/
---
So I needed a new pair of jeans and was like all excited. I reached a new low this morning and a BMI of 19.3 (yay) so I thought I'd need an S by now. And lol, de M barely fit. Fuck me, still a fat whale.

[Rant/Rave] I'm a fat piece of shit, and I want to die.
/u/burtra12
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:31:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a54mw/im_a_fat_piece_of_shit_and_i_want_to_die/
---
Binged 3 days in a row after noticeable weight loss. Why do I sabotage myself every time I start to succeed?
My friend that I thought was fatter than me can fit into a size smaller than me and I tried to put on her jeans and they wouldn't button.
My boyfriend is mad at me for making a stupid mistake yesterday and I'm an idiot and I feel like everyone hates me. I want to kill myself but I'm too much of a coward. Can't stop thinking about cutting myself. I tell my boyfriend about it and he takes it like I'm trying to guilt trip him and tell him it's his fault I'm depressed, so I keep digging myself a bigger hole. I just want to be happy and wear a bikini this summer and be loved and desired and not piss everyone off around me and ruin all my relationships with friends and partners. I keep taking pills and quit drinking but the pills will run out. I'm a fat cow with a disgusting fat stomach and love handles and I want to take a knife and cut them off. Sometimes I wish someone would kill me because I know I'm a weak piece of shit and can't do it.

[Goal] Achievements!!!!!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 100 | 16.2 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:18:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a52r7/achievements/
---
I am feeling *amazing* about reaching my goals for the first time in months!! A lot of you know I have been terrified to weigh myself because I don't want to do it and have a BMI that wasn't underweight. And although I didn't think I looked over 18.5 (normal BMI benchmark), I was still too scared to face the scale. I'd get it out, look at it, step on but not look down to see the number. It fucking *taunted* me..

Well yesterday I went to the doctor and I knew she was going to weigh me (just a general physical). I'd been extremely anxious about this for the past two weeks. And when the time came, I couldn't even do it then. I stepped on backwards and asked the nurse not to tell me the number. Which she did no problem, was actually super nice about it!

Well, I got home (feeling like a massive failure) and was checking my patient chart online to see what birth control she'd given me. I happened to glance at the word "underweight". AND I AM!!!!!!!!! Finally had the courage to click and see that I was 110 according to them (with clothes & shoes on!!), putting my BMI at 17.8!!!!

Guys, I am SOOOOOO HAPPY!!!! And I can update my stats for the first time in ages!!! Still haven't gotten the courage to check my at-home scale totally naked, but I set a date where I will absolutely be doing that. And since I saw that number I haven't had even the urge to B/P. I just feel proud and focused on my next goal. I have another Dr. appt in a month and I wanna be at or near 100lbs by then. I can do this!!!!

I owe huge thanks to everyone here who has given me advice, supported me, complimented me, picked me up when I feel like shit, been there when I need a distraction.. I love you all and I don't think I could have accomplished this without the community here! THANK YOU!! <3

[Discussion] Thoughts on Zantex Skinny stix?
/u/macdonaldc
Created: Sat Mar 12 12:18:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a52pi/thoughts_on_zantex_skinny_stix/
---
https://www.google.ca/search?q=skinny+stix&rlz=1CDGOYI_enCA680CA680&hl=en-US&prmd=ivn&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjSltGz7rvLAhXHLyYKHR3YBaoQ_AUIBygB&biw=375&bih=591#imgrc=gIDw_xS3pUrAgM%3A

[Help] There's a dragon in my tummy
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | 119.05 | 19.83 | -22 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 11:44:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4xsf/theres_a_dragon_in_my_tummy/
---
Anyone have any quick fixes for a screaming, growling stomach? Can't get it to shut up.


Update: thanks everyone for the tips, not a single murmur today ^ ^

[Rant/Rave] I am so fuckng fat.
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Sat Mar 12 11:41:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4xh2/i_am_so_fuckng_fat/
---
My jeans ripped when I bent over today. The jeans that I was so proud to still fit in (I've had them since sixth grand and still fit in them(I'm in 11th grade now)).

[Discussion] Saving calories until the evening?
/u/Darling459
Created: Sat Mar 12 11:36:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4wni/saving_calories_until_the_evening/
---
I have read so many different things on this and I apologize if this has been discussed before. I find it super easy to restrict during he day. I can fast from when I wake up until 7pm like its nothing. I've done this so many times and then eaten all of my calories I've set for the day between like 7pm and 10pm. Is this horrible? I ethnically count it as a success as being within my calories but I second guess myself with how bad it feels to eat so much in one sitting especially late in the day. what do you guys think?

[Rant/Rave] Why. WHY?!
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 11:17:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4tx5/why_why/
---
Why is there no PB2 version of Nutella?!

[Rant/Rave] Rollercoaster of Relief and Disappointment
/u/KingofSuicides [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sat Mar 12 10:59:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4r3w/rollercoaster_of_relief_and_disappointment/
---
A few weeks ago I bought a scale; it had been *three months* since I started restricting to 1000 calories a day and I wanted to see what progress I had made ... I was horrified to learn that I weighed exactly the same amount that I had when I first started.

So I restricted further. I cut down to just 600 calories a day. That was three weeks ago and, since then, I've been having daily and weekly ups and downs emotionally and I'm just about to completely lose my mind.

I managed to get down to 166.5 lbs. Yeah, after restricting to 600 calories a day, I've only lost 3.5 lbs in three weeks. I've been keeping track of everything that enters my body - even water. Yesterday when I got home after work, I weighed 168lbs and this morning I'm back down to 166.5 lbs.

Here's what I eat each day:

**Morning:** 1 cup of yogurt (100 calories); 1 glass of water

**Lunch:** 1 can of soup with equal parts milk (averages 200 calories)

**Dinner:** Same as above, sometimes I'll eat a couple of slices of toast or through in two sliced-up hotdogs into the soup (this maxes out my dinner at about 350 calories).

I sip on water for most of the day when I feel my stomach rumbling or I get hunger pangs. Over the last week I noticed that I'm feeling those rumblings/pangs much less frequently, too, which is really fantastic.

I still feel, though, that I should've lost a lot more weight than I have. I'm starting to feel like my body is sabotaging me, that it *wants* me to be fat and I'm getting worried that I'm going to break and just go back to eating 2000+ calories a day and eat myself to death.

Everything I've read said that if I eat fewer calories than I consume, I should lose weight. I have lost *some* weight but ... 3.5 lbs in 3 weeks doesn't seem like a lot. Especially since, to maintain my 170lbs I'd have to consume 2200 calories a day. Eating 600 a day means I'm in a *major* deficit.

I'm really, really close to calling it quits and just giving in. I feel like I've been lied to by every source on nutrition I've come across. I feel like this is just one more thing my body does wrong that everyone else's body does correctly.

Either that or I may give up all food altogether and really starve myself; I'm not sure I want that, either.

**EDIT:** Aaannnddd ... now I'm sitting here eating a half-dozen donuts because I am so goddamn angry with myself and I feel like giving up if this is what my body does to me since starting calorie restriction in *NOVEMBER*. How does someone only lose three and a half pounds in four months?! I hate my body so fucking much. I want revenge on it.

[Discussion] Scales
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Sat Mar 12 10:37:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4nwg/scales/
---
Does anyone else ever step on the scale and not believe the number it shows you?

It came up for me as 105lbs today, but I just feel like it's not true at all. I don't think I look any lighter than the me at 110 lb or even 115.

[Intro] Intro!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 09:44:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4gj4/intro/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 12 09:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4b39/daily_food_diary_march_12_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 12, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Question about calories
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 09:00:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a4ax8/question_about_calories/
---
I had the quiche lorraine at mimis. Their menu said 500 (still bad) but mfp said 870!!! Which is true?

[Discussion] Fucking saturdays... Boring ass saturdays...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 12 08:32:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a47hf/fucking_saturdays_boring_ass_saturdays/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Was feeling good for the first time in a long time... and then I tried on a romper
/u/lessismoreofme [5'3 | 145lbs | 26.58 | -45lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 08:09:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a44pt/was_feeling_good_for_the_first_time_in_a_long/
---
Still look like an oompa loompa. Or, because it was blue, Violet Beauregard after the blueberry scene.... ugh....





[Discussion] Just wondering what accounts you follow on instagram
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 08:06:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a44c7/just_wondering_what_accounts_you_follow_on/
---
I just got an account (wow, like 5 years late to everything) and wanted to see who you all follow for inspiration. (i searched the subreddit too)

[Tip] A breakfast tip!
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 12 07:12:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a3y7m/a_breakfast_tip/
---
So if you're like me and you're living with someone who doesn't let you openly restrict, I just had an apple for breakfast by nuking it in the microwave for 30 seconds and sprinkling some cinnamon on top!

Edit: thank you for all the kind words on yesterday's postā¤ļø

[Goal] To stop binging, I made a list of how I feel after I binge and rules of what I must do before I can order takeout
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Mar 11 20:29:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a29a5/to_stop_binging_i_made_a_list_of_how_i_feel_after/
---
**How I feel after I binge**

-Regret. I really wish I hadn't done that. I'd take it back if I could

-Panic. I'm going to gain so much fucking weight from this

-Desperation. I want to purge this so badly

-Disgust. I'm such a weak pathetic fat pig

-Shame. Cramming my face with shit alone in my room so nobody sees, nice

-Hopeless. I'm going to be fat forever, I'm never going to reach my goal

-Nauseous. It feels like my stomach might burst open

-FAT, enormous, bloated. I look pregnant, and the water weight will keep me looking fatter for days.




**DON'T MAKE YOURSELF FEEL LIKE THIS.
BEFORE YOU ORDER TAKEOUT/EAT BINGE FOOD, YOU MUST:**

Take a hot shower

Paint your nails/ do a face mask

Watch 15 minutes of ASMR videos in bed

Eat something healthy at home & drink a glass of water


**TL;DR** I'm hoping that taking a self-care and compassion approach will help me overcome this problem. What would you add to this list?

[Help] How quickly did you lose weight?
/u/cellopenguin [63" | 107.6 | 19.56 | -32.4 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 20:00:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a25fl/how_quickly_did_you_lose_weight/
---
So I've been losing weight pretty regularly since November (about 30 pounds so far). However, I've gotten frustrated at how slow it's felt for the last few weeks. So for people on here who've lost a significant amount of weight (I don't know how to define that - maybe 20ish pounds or more??), how long did it take you? Should I be worried that I'm not losing fast enough?

[Rant/Rave] Cheated yesterday, I want to binge today because the scale went up so much
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Fri Mar 11 20:00:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a25ea/cheated_yesterday_i_want_to_binge_today_because/
---
So I gave myself a cheat day yesterday because I've been popping xanax every 6 hours to keep the anxiety attack at bay since Monday and I just wanted bread.

Ate 2200 cal yesterday and I feel awful today. I'm at 878 (850 limit) today and I don't know if I want to go home at eat or not. I told my husband I didn't want dinner because I'm getting home so late with traffic but I just want to lay down and eat crap and ruminate on all the things I haven't done while doing nothing. I bounced from 148lbs to 153lbs overnight with yesterday's binge and real or not that's so disheartening.

[Rant/Rave] CW
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Fri Mar 11 18:45:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1ves/cw/
---
I'm having a really bad panic attack. I have binged two days in a row and I now weigh 104 pounds instead of 98 pounds. I hate my self so much. I just want to cut the fat off. I want to be able to put my hand around the top of arm and my hand actually fit. I want my stomach fat to go away. I hate it so much. I hate me so much.

[Help] Newbie First Fast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 11 18:42:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1uwh/newbie_first_fast/
---
Hello. I'm new here and I just wanted some advice about fasting. I planned to do only 48 hours as a trial but I ended up doing 72. I felt so good but I broke the fast by having some sushi (240 calories) for dinner. I was just wondering what types of foods are best after a fast? I am also worried about my weigh-in in the morning. How do you deal with the scale going up after a fast? Thanks everyone!

[Help] Bronkaid... im i doing it wrong?
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 18:16:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1rd0/bronkaid_im_i_doing_it_wrong/
---
Mobile sorry no flare

So i primarily have a binge ED with occasional purging...

And i saw everyone discussing bronkaid on here... and i was at the pharmacy this morning so i grabbed a pack thinking maybe it would take away my appetite. I've been doing well with just using MFP to keep track and monitor my calories, but i wanted to see if i could find something to help more.

I took one pill on an empty stomach... and... nothing.

I just ate a salad with steak and im eating a 100cal bag of popchips trying to fight the urge to binge. This puts me around 600 calories today and i need to save room for dinner with my bf and a glass of wine... so i can't consume much else.

I didn't feel anything. Am i supposed to take 2? Ugh.

But my chest cold feels better, so i guess that's pretty cool. :/

[Help] EC Stacks=headaches??
/u/zomboooo [5'7|115|18.1|-2|NB]
Created: Fri Mar 11 16:35:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1de1/ec_stacksheadaches/
---
I don't know if it's caffeine portion of it that gives me such painful headaches, but damn. They are killing me. And I'm usually too scared to take aspirin because of the increased blood pressure. Anyone else have this side effect or have any advice?

Edit: I'm on mobile but il flair when I can

[Discussion] IMPORTANT: CAN WE PLEASE STOP PICKING FIGHTS ON THIS SUB? WE'RE HERE TO HELP EACHOTHER. [HAPPENED ON ONE OF MY EARLIER POSTS]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 16:29:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1cg5/important_can_we_please_stop_picking_fights_on/
---
http://imgur.com/V0fOuat

[Help] How do you get EC stack? Side effects? Testimonies welcome!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 11 16:19:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1ayx/how_do_you_get_ec_stack_side_effects_testimonies/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I failed, you guys.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 11 16:19:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a1ayq/i_failed_you_guys/
---
[deleted]

This Sub...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 11 15:40:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a15kl/this_sub/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How do you avoid bingeing while depressed?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 14:23:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a0tjr/how_do_you_avoid_bingeing_while_depressed/
---
Trigger warning, issues other than Eating disorder

I'm suicidal a lot. I have a hard time not bingeing because it won't matter of I binge if I die tonight, or if I start purgeing who cares I might not be alive next week. I have been trying to get over my other issues but its hard, a major pain, and there's no way it'll fix quick. So how do you avoid bingeing of any of you get like this?

[Discussion] Has anyone used any essential oils for weight loss before?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 14:22:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a0t9f/has_anyone_used_any_essential_oils_for_weight/
---
I went to a workshop last night about essential oils and their various uses, and one of them was weight loss. Anyone have experience with this or curious about it as well?

[Discussion] What do you consider a "restrictive" calorie count?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Fri Mar 11 13:58:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a0pcp/what_do_you_consider_a_restrictive_calorie_count/
---
I take in usually around 600-900 calories a day.. 500 is hard, but makes me feel good, whereas around 900 i dont feel like ive done well... Wbu? What do you guys consider to high to be "restricting" i see if people are eating 1200 a day, thats a dieting amount, not a restricting amount... Id say under 1000 is an ED amount? Opinions?

[Help] Should increase intake to kickstart metabolism again?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Fri Mar 11 13:45:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a0ncn/should_increase_intake_to_kickstart_metabolism/
---
Ive been platueing recent..despite having around 600 cals a day, sometimes less,to account,for an 1800 calorie day i had last week...today im looking at around 900... Will the boost me, so i start losing again? Anyone else do it?

[Discussion] Does anyone else...
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Fri Mar 11 11:56:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4a05wj/does_anyone_else/
---
Does anyone else concider eating a normal sized meal for an a average person a binge?

[Discussion] How was your best/longer weight loss "streak"?
/u/NewbieRunnerInBlue [5'3''| CW 154 lb | 27.3 | - 45 lb | GW 110 lb | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 10:33:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49zs8j/how_was_your_bestlonger_weight_loss_streak/
---
I had been under a lots of ups and downs lately, It is like I'm losing and gaining the same 10lb all the time. I wonder how much weight people is able to lose until falling and binging again ... for how long were you able to sustain it before something made you stop? What was it? how much weight were you able to lose until started gaining again?

[Discussion] What besides numbers makes you feel small or light or beautiful?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 09:18:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49zgbb/what_besides_numbers_makes_you_feel_small_or/
---
So yesterday my husband gave me a piggyback ride for the first time in years. It was a breathless, giggly, childish moment. He ran across a parking lot with me on his back without a struggle and it felt amazing.

I realized there are things that make me feel close to goal that have nothing to do with numbers on a scale or a tape measure or a clothing tag.

One of the others is yoga, because everything about the practice is designed to encourage lightness and length. And another is sex, because my husband gets increasingly vocal about how much he likes my whole body as I lose weight. He actually said he likes my ribs the other day, which means he can see them!

So what things make you feel in sync with your body? What things make you feel close to goal that aren't number-related?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 11 09:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49zdsy/daily_food_diary_march_11_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 11, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I am failing...
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Mar 11 08:30:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49z8xc/i_am_failing/
---
What happened? I was doing so well, losing 10 lbs a month, restricting was a dream. Now I'm binging, and just eating like a 'normal' person. Last night I ate 5 bowls of cinnamon toast crunch in my bed. I'm up 5 pounds. I NEVER wanted to see this number again. I'm trying to fast to get back on track but the second any food touches my lips it turns into a free for all. I CAN'T go back to being fat...but I feel like I'm sliding down a muddy hill and can't get my footing. I'm panicking...

[Tip] Sweet deal if you love quest bars like meeee
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | too fat | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 07:25:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yznj/sweet_deal_if_you_love_quest_bars_like_meeee/
---
**It just expired guys, sorry ;_;**

***
My coworker always hears me rave about Quest bars so he linked me this offer on [slick deals](http://slickdeals.net/f/8556750-12-count-quest-nutrition-protein-bar-12-count-qn-pumpkin-pie-22-85-free-s-h). I haven't tried it yet but it looks like if you order a box of 12 bars you get a free box of 12 pumpkin pie bars as well. So that's 24 bars for like $23! If you've been wanting to try them but thought they were too expensive, this is a good excuse to get some. Almost all the bars are under 200 calories and have around 20g protein and 14g fiber! Hope this helps someone out :)

Edit: I'm not sure where Vitacost ships to, so it might be US only.

Edit 2: Boooo they don't have a variety pack. BUT apple pie is life. So is strawberry cheesecake.

[Tip] this was helpful to me - emotional vs physical hunger :)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 07:13:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yy15/this_was_helpful_to_me_emotional_vs_physical/
---
http://andycore.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/hunger.jpg

[Thinspo] Thinspo Friday #1 - Enjoy <3
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 07:11:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yxsn/thinspo_friday_1_enjoy_3/
---
http://imgur.com/a/fYfFE

[Help] Snacking when I get home?
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 07:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ywl5/snacking_when_i_get_home/
---
Hello everyone :)

So, I have a problem. Whenever I get home from school ~3:00, I end up having a bunch of shitty snacks that almost put me over my calorie limit. Anyone have any tips? Thank you <3

[Help] So I kinda blew it but I have a question
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 05:55:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yoap/so_i_kinda_blew_it_but_i_have_a_question/
---
Should I factor in all the calories I exercised off in addition to everything I shoved in my mouth? I feel like I should pretend like I didn't even exercise so I have to restrict more. Do any of yall cut the size tag out of your clothes so you don't have to look at it? Also I am just going to eat oatmeal for a week. And I don't think I flaired this right so I'm sorry if not.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! March 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 11 05:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49yhst/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_march_11/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for March 11, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] DAE love feeling hungry?
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 01:28:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xwlt/dae_love_feeling_hungry/
---
I feel on edge, alert, and sharp when I fast. My stomach feels so empty and it makes me feel light. Even the hunger pangs feel good. I feel so in control and powerful. I know a lot of people get distracted and bleary when they're hungry but for me it's the opposite. When I eat I feel bogged down and tired and unfocused. But when I fast I feel so light and overall good. Anyone else feel the same way?

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Dad wanted to talk to me, started spewing fatlogic.
/u/throwawayldr9876 [5'4 | 146 | 25.55 | -39 | 21F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 01:00:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xts8/rant_dad_wanted_to_talk_to_me_started_spewing/
---
My dad, who is 50lbs away from 300, came to my room and asked to talk to me. he noticed I've been restricting pretty severely but I've also made efforts to look like I'm eating normally (ate dinner with my parents yesterday even though I wanted to cry because I went past my 500 calorie limit) but he's more observant than I thought. He started spewing out fatlogic saying I'll end up in starvation mode, I'm wasting away, being skinny isn't worth it, more fatlogic about macros being more important than calories, blah blah, all that stuff. I kept quiet but couldn't help but think, I probably know more about nutrition than you do, and I'd rather be skinny and miserable than fat and miserable. I couldn't stop running my fingers over my wrist bones. They stuck out so much and it made me so happy. I know he was jealous that I'm successfully losing weight while he keeps saying he's going to start his diet "tomorrow" every fucking Sunday. I've done all I can to help him start but he keeps making excuses and I'm done with that. Now I'm focusing on me, and I'm not gonna stop until my bones all stick out and people start worrying about me and telling me I'm getting too skinny. And when people start doing that, *I won't fucking stop*. I won't become a slave to food, mindless shoving down grease and sugar down my throat. I'm stronger than that.

I *will* get to my goal weight. And no one can stop me.

[Help] [Help] banting bread
/u/420blazefiend [5'4'' | 119.05 | 19.83 | -22 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 11 00:50:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xsr6/help_banting_bread/
---
I'm gluten intolerant and that usually gets me out of eating bread. Bread is scary scary and freaks me out cos I associate it with binging. Where I'm staying at the moment, they've taken my gluten free needs into consideration and make the most delicious banting bread EVERY DAY. I binge on banting bread EVERY DAY. I need to stop and I don't know how to. I ate a whole loaf yesterday.


Can anyone help me out with ideas of alternatives or reassure me about the calorific values of banting bread? I'm really freaking out. Also they notice when I don't eat and ask questions about my food and I need better ways to cover my tracks other than lying badly.


Edit: spelling


[Discussion] Anyone have a sibling or siblings with an ED?
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Fri Mar 11 00:48:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xsi2/anyone_have_a_sibling_or_siblings_with_an_ed/
---
Because it really fucks with your head, goddamn. I was just wondering if anyone else isn't the only little fucked up one in the family.

(Short, sneaky post written from Treatment because I'm a terrible, terrible person...)

(Treatment not of my choosing)

(Love you all)

[Goal] Back to my LW
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Mar 11 00:17:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49xp6m/back_to_my_lw/
---
Last time I fucked up at this point by binging. Hope I will do better now..

[Tip] I just started adding highlights and contour to my collar bones and hip bones.
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2.5" | 101.6lbs | 18.87 | -25.6 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 21:56:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49x82o/i_just_started_adding_highlights_and_contour_to/
---
It makes me feel so pretty

[Discussion] glucomannan powder ideas?
/u/spaghetti_enthusiast [5'4.5" | 133lbs | 22.43 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 21:23:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49x45d/glucomannan_powder_ideas/
---
I have a bottle of glucomannan powder I bought a while ago in an effort to get more fiber into my system and also fill me up but I have literally no idea what to do with it. I tried mixing it with water and PB2 and I kid you not it tasted like peanut butter snot. Any ideas or recipes?

[Rant/Rave] Energy or excuses?
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 20:38:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wy98/energy_or_excuses/
---
Between restricting and doing errands/chores, I feel like I never have the energy to go to the gym, EVEN THOUGH many people at lower calorie counts and BMIs do, and I also take Bronkaid/caffeine twice a day. I feel like I'm just lazy.

[Tip] TIL the BMI is invalid if you have scoliosis
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 20:31:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wxay/til_the_bmi_is_invalid_if_you_have_scoliosis/
---
Apparently I have the organs and bones of a 1.65m woman crammed into my 1.62m frame. Which means my BMI is WRONG! Since a person's height is typically the same as their wingspan, it is recommended to use your wingspan as your height calculation.


I guess this explains why my chest bones and upper spine always start to show at a seemingly high BMI?

I will continue to use my "real" height regularly, but there will definitely be some calculations based on wingspan along the way.

I was excited to learn this and had to share with my fellow curvy spined ladies!!

....if real women have curves, am I superwoman because I have extra curves in my spine?

[Goal] My boyfriend called me skinny today!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 20:29:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wx0d/my_boyfriend_called_me_skinny_today/
---
He picked me up and spun me around and said "hello my little skinny love!" *swoons* I gotta love that boy. He's around 6'2" and 145lbs max (and a lot of that is muscle), coming from him it's a huge compliment.

My weight loss has been kind of stagnant lately, but hey, at least I'm not gaining! I feel skinnier near my collarbones and arms, which is great, but fatter near my stomach, which is not so great. Not sure if it's all in my head or what.

Anyway, stay lovely, everyone!

Just failed my exam. Punishment time.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 19:22:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ws83/just_failed_my_exam_punishment_time/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] [Vent] My antidepressants work too well
/u/Raspberry_Pancake
Created: Thu Mar 10 18:53:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wo97/vent_my_antidepressants_work_too_well/
---
I can't find it in me to restrict anymore. I don't know if I should be happy or sad about it.

[Rant/Rave] Ahhhh I'm so glad I can start restricting again!
/u/fart_joke [4'11" | 124 lbs | 25 | -41 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 18:09:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wib7/ahhhh_im_so_glad_i_can_start_restricting_again/
---
The past couple weeks, I had been getting dizzy and passing out and thought it was due to my restricting and adding in weight lifting at the gym about an hour a day (because you know, more muscle = more fat burning). I started to eat more, cramming in up to 1200 FUCKING CALORIES IN A DAY and I was still dizzy and passing out.

But I figured out it wasn't really my restriction.. it was the stupid cheap generic adderall that was making me sick! I've quit taking it and feel sooo much healthier. Even better now that I can restrict again. Maybe I'll treat myself to a fast this weekend.

I was super lucky that I didn't gain weight and stayed the same throughout these past two weeks even though I added so many calories. Now back to making progress with you lovelies <3

how much is it possible to lose in a week?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 18:03:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49whis/how_much_is_it_possible_to_lose_in_a_week/
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[removed]

[Rant/Rave] mmmmmmm... mud
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 17:59:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wgvf/mmmmmmm_mud/
---
Today, I salivated over mud. It looked so fucking delicious. I saw the mud. I wanted to eat the mud. I wanted to eat it so badly that the longing made my chest hurt. It looked like thick chocolate mousse, or like creamy fudge gelato. I looked at the mud and I said to myself, "Stop that right now. It's not chocolate. It's dog shit, if anything. Surely you don't want to eat dog shit, you goddamn loony." But I looked at the mud and I swear to god I could taste its chocolatey richness, so sweet that it would make my teeth ache if I grabbed a handful of it and crammed it into my mouth. I imagined the velvety texture of it, melting away and oozing down my throat in an exquisite cascadeā€¦

of mud. I lusted after mud today, you guys. I'm at home now, but I can't get the image of that delectable fucking mud out of my head. Holy shit. What has my life become.

[Tip] Inner thigh workout!
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 17:30:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49wd23/inner_thigh_workout/
---
Hi guys :)

So, I've been focusing on my thigh gap for quite a while and I found the perfect workout [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJyZhOJ2Tag0). I've been doing it once a day for 3 days and my inner thighs are already starting to firm up :)

Happy exercising!

(thinspo friday is tomorrow :p /u/ifuckpineapples

[Rant/Rave] I think we define that differently...
/u/watchingwheels80 [5'5" | 129| 21.5 | -46 | F ]
Created: Thu Mar 10 17:03:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49w9aw/i_think_we_define_that_differently/
---
Today I went out to eat with a dear but very obese friend. Since we are so close, I wasn't on guard. While looking at the menu, I accidentally slipped out, "there are days of calories". She interpreted that as "calories for days", meaning "there are lots of calories, so I am using an expression and don't mean this at all literally".

Uh huh. That's totally what I meant.

[Discussion] Favorite Gums?
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 16:55:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49w7yb/favorite_gums/
---
So, since I'm in this anti binge challenge, I need to figure out a way to resist the temptation of all the crap around me. Can some of you tell me your favorite types of gum that curb cravings?

[Rant/Rave] I'm really glad this place exists
/u/lifetc
Created: Thu Mar 10 16:42:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49w6dx/im_really_glad_this_place_exists/
---
Nothing helps more when I feel like bingeing or anything to think about this sub and the sort of standards I need to hold myself to. Thanks guys

[Tip] New oatmeal recipe!!
/u/bellatrixcat
Created: Thu Mar 10 15:42:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vxc8/new_oatmeal_recipe/
---
So like many of us here, I love oatmeal. But with no peanut butter around or berries which is the usual combo for my oatmeal I decided to try something different and it literally changed my life, lol. So here it is ~ Make your oatmeal how you usually do, and mix in jam and you won't believe it but...coffee creamer. All you need is a tablespoon! I used caramel macchiato and strawberry jam and it tasted like strawberry shortcake. Unf. So good. Enjoy! :)

[Intro] Hello everyone :)
/u/bookofbluesysaturday [5'7 | 159 | 24.9 | -13 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 15:29:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vv4n/hello_everyone/
---
[removed]

[Help] I binged
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 15:04:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vr4g/i_binged/
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After a day of eating Ā±1600kcal I got home and had a Ā±2300 kcal binge. Binging usually isn't much of an issue for me so I don't know how it happened. I just felt so out of control I literally couldn't stop. I tried to purge but it didn't work, then fucking ate more because I felt like a failure for not being able to. I feel so lost right now, I have no idea what to do. My stomach shrunk so much from restricting and now that I've completely stuffed myself with food it feels like I swallowed a bunch of bricks with a hint of razorblades (which isn't enough to keep me from feeling like eating even more). I don't know how to make the pain go away, I don't know what or wether to eat tomorrow, I don't know how the fuck I'm going to make up for the amount of weight I'm going to gain from this. Please help.

[Thinspo] found this girl on insta... definition of goals
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 14:38:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vmwc/found_this_girl_on_insta_definition_of_goals/
---
http://imgur.com/a/F7VoV

[Intro] Intro
/u/Flufferbutternutter [5'2" | 103 | 19.52 | -37 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 13:44:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vdwc/intro/
---
Well, it seems to be a good day for introductions, so I thought I might.
Right now I'm struggling. I'm comfortable with and can maintain 300-500 calories a day, but I'm breastfeeding and my milk dries up if I eat that little. My target is 800 a day to maintain milk supply but once I hit over 500 I wind up binging half the time, and then I throw up because stress and self loathing and a full stomach don't mix well on me. It's a horrible cycle but I don't want to give up nursing so I'm trying.
I'm at 125, which is horrible, but I've lost 15 lbs in the last three weeks. I was at 165 at 9 months pregnant, 150 lbs post partum, and had worked that down to 140 before I found out my husband is a lying cheating asshat which triggered the start of this restriction cycle.

[Tip] Seaweed is my saviour!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 13:28:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49vb20/seaweed_is_my_saviour/
---
Hi everyone! So I thought Iā€™d share a tip but it may not be for everyone. I suffer from seriously bad low blood pressure so Iā€™m encouraged to eat a lot of sodium/salt. Anyway, when I get hunger pangs, I mix 1 top of Miso paste with a handful of wakame seaweed in boiling water.... oh my God! It might be a bit salty for some, but itā€™s ultra low calorie, full of magnesium and potassium, and it expands in the water. Itā€™s so chewy and filling, after two cups I feel like Iā€™ve eaten a full meal and Iā€™m satisfied for ages. Itā€™s a perfect 3pm pick me up.

I think there are lower sodium options, Iā€™ve not tried them ā€“ but in my own experience I havenā€™t experienced any extraordinaire water retention or bloating. In fact quite the opposite, itā€™s very fibrous!

Hope this helps some of you!


[Thinspo] Thinspo Album from my personal collection. Tall girls and hipbones.
/u/kait989 [178cm | 118lbs | 17.04 | -57lbs| F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 12:24:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49uzu0/thinspo_album_from_my_personal_collection_tall/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ooKhN

[Help] A Bit of a Pickle
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 110 | 16.54 | -35 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 12:05:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49uwl6/a_bit_of_a_pickle/
---
I'm going to a conference next week. As part of it, I can reimburse my meal expenditures. I get $70 per day to spend on food. But I have a dilemma: I don't know what I want to do. Do I want to try to maintain? Do I want to try to (slowly) lose more? If I do the second, I'm a little worried, because my receipts are going to look odd. My supervisor reviews them before I can be reimbursed and if I only bill for one "meal" a day (for me a meal would be like a Starbucks pastry) I'm worried he might ask me about it. What should I do? Does anyone have any advice? The reason I'm a bit hesitant to try to maintain is that I *just* broke a plateau and I'm terrified it will lead to bingeing.

[Rant/Rave] Fit into my low weight jeans!
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 11:17:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49uojc/fit_into_my_low_weight_jeans/
---
I have a pair of jeans that are from the last time my eating issues hit hard. I've always loved them and was upset when they stopped fitting. I got rid of all my other too small pants, but kept this one pair just in case. I finally pulled them out, and they fit! I'm only 2 lbs away from my low weight (I need to update my flair, I'm at 129 now) but I was super nervous they would still be too tight.

I also had to buy new work pants. There were no size 4s so I grabbed a 2 and a 6 to try on. The 2s fit! I know it's major vanity sizing, but I don't care. I never thought I would fit into a size that small just given my frame.

Thanks for letting me brag :)

[Rant/Rave] Finally lost my first 2 lbs since being back "on the wagon"
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 11:15:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49uo8m/finally_lost_my_first_2_lbs_since_being_back_on/
---
It's been about a week since I've been on here and back on the wagon, I checked the scale this morning so that I'm down from 162 to 160. Not a huge difference since I haven't really been exercising at all, but at least I've been restricting enough to where it makes a difference! I've found my fav thing is the instant packets of miso soup are like 35 cal each and so filling! I know I still have a lot of lose to be where I want to be, but every little bit counts!

[Rant/Rave] I'm a mess.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 11:06:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49umqa/im_a_mess/
---
This week has been horrible. HORRIBLE. I've been binging since the weekend, broke my 3+ year long purge-free streak, and have just been overall self-destructive. I don't know what the fuck is up but it has to stop. Last night I had a dream that was so, so, so, so upsetting and I can't get it out of my head and I just want to make myself feel pain and that's a scary thought. I hate this. I want out of my head.

I'm going to fast until Monday I think. It's hard for me to fast though because I really struggle with over-exercising and the two combined usually lead to me being passed out on the ground somewhere in public and that's just not fun for anyone. But I'm going to do my workout tomorrow morning and then take the weekend off and live off of liquids and illegal substances because that's where I'm at right now and I never thought I'd be there again but I feel like a bag of dicks and something has to budge because if it doesn't I'm going to go mental. My mind is a terrible place to be right now.

[Discussion] Breakfast with family ideas!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 10 10:53:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ukjh/breakfast_with_family_ideas/
---
Hi! A while ago I made a post about super low kcal dinners that look like a lot. I thought it would be time for a breakfast one!

Here are some of my favo's:
- melons: half a melon is about 65 kcal (depending on how big it is) it's filling, tasty and looks like a TON of food.
- apple slices with cinnamon: if you just slice an apple in a lot of tiny parts and add some cinnamon, you're good to go, lovely and if you eat it with a fork, it takes some time to finish
- a "fake" smoothie, add some low cal milk and a few strawberries in a blender, blendy blendy and say it's a fruit smoothie.

[Discussion] Boyfriend will be out of town for 2 days....picked up some fasting supplies!
/u/dsprngact [4'10 | 119 | 26.6|-34| female]
Created: Thu Mar 10 10:17:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ue75/boyfriend_will_be_out_of_town_for_2_dayspicked_up/
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http://imgur.com/9CET5bG

[Tip] [Tip][Recipe] Super simple low-carb tortillas (54 cal/5.88 g protein/1 g fat/4.34 carbs/2.50 g fiber ā€” NET CARBS: 1.84 g)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 10:11:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ud7j/tiprecipe_super_simple_lowcarb_tortillas_54/
---
http://the-lowcarb-diet.com/low-carb-tortilla-recipe/

[Discussion] How do you stay warm in school?
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:44:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u8ap/how_do_you_stay_warm_in_school/
---
My school always keep the AC on 65 and I am constantly shivering. How do you stay warm (other than lots of clothes)

[Discussion] Looking for anecdotal (not medical) info about EC stuff
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:41:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u7ph/looking_for_anecdotal_not_medical_info_about_ec/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Thiso of me again (sorry I'm posting so much)
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:28:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u5jj/thiso_of_me_again_sorry_im_posting_so_much/
---
http://m.imgur.com/gUkCsIt

[Discussion] Coming close to the 48 hour mark in my liquid fast
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW:118.2 (-10) GW:95 | BMI 22.3 | Female]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:16:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u3hx/coming_close_to_the_48_hour_mark_in_my_liquid_fast/
---
How do you guys keep up your energy to work out and everything else during restricting/fasting? I've been feeling like I need 3 days of sleep, and like all I can do is be a couch potato.

[Thinspo] Album of me
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:14:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u33n/album_of_me/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/quLzf

[Intro] Intro!
/u/corvoidae [5'5" | 165 lbs | 27.78 | -24 lbs | FtM]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:10:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u2cx/intro/
---
Hey! Been lurking for a few days now, and I've found this place really helpful. You guys are incredible, super friendly and welcoming! I'm so glad to have found this sub.

I'm new here, and newish to Reddit in general, so hopefully I don't fuck up too bad here, ahaha!

Anyways, here's a bulleted list of Me:

ā€¢ I'm 5'5", 165 lbs, with a HW of 189 lbs and a LW of 148 lbs. GW1 is 140, GW2 is 120, and UGW is 110 or lower. Recently turned 18, and finishing up my senior year of high school. Currently on a very strict restriction plan, like ~300 cal a day, only lean meats and veggies for food, some very low-cal condiments if I must, and tea/Splenda. On top of that, lots of cardio and maybe some weight training and yoga. I'll be relaxing my diet at the end of the month I think, I really don't think ~300 cal a day is sustainable long-term. Probably up it to about 500-800 cal a day. If anyone has any thoughts on this, I'm glad to hear them!
ā€¢ I'm transgender, which might contribute to my dieting habits? Being underweight means no period, smaller chest/hips/thighs/butt, fitting better into men's clothes, passing better, etc. I'm not 100% sure whether I'm a trans guy or more nonbinary or what, but labels and the like don't matter too much to me, as long as I know what I need to be happy and comfortable in my transition.
ā€¢ I've got ADHD which makes it kinda hard to avoid bingeing sometimes. It makes me really impulsive and careless, which is never good. I've been trying to come up with strategies to combat this, and I think it's working, to an extent!
ā€¢ I've been overweight my whole life, and it's awful and gross and I'm fuckin tired of it. Even in early elementary school, I was huge and constantly bingeing. I started trying to make a real change in Oct. 2014, and it lead to me starting to restrict for the first time. I fell off track this past summer due to vacations and really stressful move into a new house and gained like 20 lbs :\ so I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things and get down to ~140 lbs by April.
ā€¢ Aside from ADHD and gender dysphoria and I guess dysmorphia, I honestly don't think I have any other mental issues? Not even typically co-morbid ones like depression or anxiety, just a few odd, unfortunate quirks here and there. Hell, I don't even know if I have a real ED, or just really disordered habits? I've never been diagnosed, but I've also never tried really telling anyone. I don't know. It's quite confusing. If anyone wants to know more about that, feel free to ask.

Anyways, I think that's about it. Thanks for reading, guys! Can't wait to see you around more, and sorry this was so long, whoops.

[Thinspo] Words my mom said that pushed me back into ED
/u/SkinnyBoy70 [| 5'3" | 95 | 16.54 | 5pounds | FTM Trans |]
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:02:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u15l/words_my_mom_said_that_pushed_me_back_into_ed/
---
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/NDqRbQW

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 10 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49u10f/daily_food_diary_march_10_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 10, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I Didn't Purge
/u/anordinarypenguin [5'2''|111.8|20.45|-24|F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 08:44:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ty54/i_didnt_purge/
---
I didn't purge last night. This is pretty significant because I've been purging every night for the past... I dunno, probably two weeks. I just couldn't stop myself. But last night I didn't purge, even after eating half a twix, some cheese puffs, some pizza and bits of a hostess cupcake.

When I woke up this morning, I was 1 lb lighter and my stomach looked significantly less bloated. This, coupled with the fact that I'm so damn proud of myself for not purging, is so crazy motivating. I've been at the same weight for the past week now, and because I didn't purge, I broke this plateau.

I just wanted to share my happiness with you guys, and to also mention just how much purging isn't worth it. It makes you bloated and you don't lose weight (or, if you do, it's not a lot of weight). As you all know, it also fucks up your teeth. If you can stop yourself from purging, do it!

[Intro] An introduction
/u/garlicaddiction [158 cm | 50 kg | 20.7 | F ]
Created: Thu Mar 10 08:23:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49tuyo/an_introduction/
---
I've been posting here for about a week, I guess, so an introduction is due. Also, I've read all the posts from today so I have to do something else to occupy myself.


I'm 21, married (early, I know), studying computational mathematics. Other details are in my flair.


When I was 4 my parents got divorced, due to my mom's drinking, but somehow she ended up getting awarded custody of my 4 siblings and me. I don't know if it was the custody agreement or custody laws in general, but at 12 years old we could decide if we wanted to go live with our father (which we all did). So the bulk of the memories from my childhood are either me feeling hungry or from one of my siblings leaving me. I was the youngest, so for 8 years, every two years, I felt like I was being abandoned.


After my two older sisters left, my mother turned on me, I don't know why me specifically. She stopped feeding me. She only gave food to my older brother and remaining sister (who are now, both, unfortunately obese). This is obviously where my horrible relationship with food began, I would "steal" food from the kitchen whenever she was passed out from drinking, and I would hoard it in my room. Slices or bread, pieces of fruit, chunks of cheese, even a bottle of ketchup at one point. Of course when she found out, she would hit me, make me clean it up, throwing it away instead of eating it. I would fish it out of the trash later.


When my younger sister and I were the last two remaining, my dad (this is speculation, we never talk about it) reopened the custody case to get my sister and me taken away from my mother at one time. He succeeded, I didn't have to spend those last two years alone. I never told my dad what was happening, they always assumed I just ate less because I preferred it. My brother eventually lost the weight, but my third oldest sister is still obese with signs of pre-diabetes.


I lived normally since then, my stepmother and I didn't get along, but that was simply due to different personality types. She's a great woman who I respect, the only strong female figure I really have in my life. My dad is a great person, and we have a great relationship My mother in law is also a great lady, but more of a friend than a role model. I met my husband four years ago, we got married last September, I moved to Ireland when he got a job here and study here in Ireland now. He's 23.


On the outside, I feel like I dealt with it well. I internalized the anger, sadness, and depression over the past several years and recently it's just faded away - and I think I'm happy? I never talk about what happened to me as a child, because the physical and mental abuse wasn't as nearly as bad as other stories I've heard. In the end, I ended up with a loving family who cares about me and wants me to succeed.

I still restrict because it helps me feel in control, and I fear getting fat like my poor sister. I don't particularly like eating either, it just fills me with negative emotions. I prefer just drinking tea and coffee.

[Help] I somehow got roped into a pi day potluck
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 08:13:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ttb4/i_somehow_got_roped_into_a_pi_day_potluck/
---
Everyone is going to be serving pies. I cannot get out of it. What do I do?

[Intro] Introduction and Needing Advice
/u/alliknowis___
Created: Thu Mar 10 06:31:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49tf2s/introduction_and_needing_advice/
---
I've been lurking here for a good 6 months now and have only commented here and there. Today I planned on restricting heavily (something I struggle with) and felt maybe an introduction along with an invitation for any insight into how to make this easier would be welcomed. First a little background on myself. Sorry if I ramble, but it feels so good to let this all out without a filter for once...

I'm 28 and have struggled with my relationship with food since I was 13. In high school and throughout my teens I was overweight. Never obese, but I was most certainly chubby. My father seemed to show affection towards me and judge me based on how much I weighed. He's probably the reason why I have such a bad relationship with foods since he'd not let me have certain privileges or show his approval unless I met his standards, be it a specific weight or overall aesthetics. That being said my dad has told me he thought I was a little bitch for my teens... thankfully I've cut him out of my life and no longer have to deal with his toxic behavior. My mom constantly compares myself to hear in a way that makes me feel guilty for any achievements I accomplish with my weight. My grandma who lives with us back home shames me for my binges despite them being recent or not to friends, other family, and even boyfriends. Things have been better since I've moved out.

I have issues with binging/emotional/stress eating, body dysmorphia (according to the few friends I've opened up to), diuretics/senna tabs, but never had the heart to purge despite my best efforts. I'd go through cycles of binge/restrict/giving up/repeat. They still flare up years later. Once I hit 20 I kept restricting and staying active socially or walking everywhere I could, to the point where I had lost 50lbs. My relationship with food was still a struggle, but I would consume myself with work and end up only having coffee, a bagel (sometimes half), and a piece of grilled chicken with a little mozzarella and some tomato sauce everyday. Sometimes I'd forget to even have that chicken for dinner and just pass out after 12 hours straight managing a busy pharmacy.

At that point, I was around a 19 bmi and I finally felt comfortable in my own skin. I was proud to be a walking middle finger to my dad or anyone who said I was fat. Proud to have the self control to look as great as I felt. I remember going to a party with a friend at a college in my city where I knew no one else and felt more confident than I ever had. I tied my shirt up like a belly shirt with shorts that showed my hip bones. Drunk girls came up to me and said how pretty and thin I was. Guys flirted with me left and right. My friend and I (being that we were both not from the college, had the same name, and were both attractive) were like the belles of the ball. I'd overhear conversations raving about us. That was one of my happiest memories.

Then I turned 25 and my metabolism changed drastically. I can't tolerate being hungry anymore. I used to revel in it, but now I get angry and/or can't focus. Considering I'm trying to get through a doctorate program it's a struggle. I can't just restrict anymore, I need to exercise at least 3-5 times weekly. If I fall off the wagon my body isn't as forgiving anymore. I gained back 15 lbs since when I felt my best. Part of me loves having curves again, but seeing my bones made me feel so proud.

I'm currently around a 21 bmi. It's not bad, but I'm such a perfectionist that I feel like a failure for not being my best everyday. I used to restrict to 800 cals a day and fast at least 1 day a week. My goals have shifted because I've gotten involved in a wrestling league (think WWE with outrageous costumes/personas). I used to idolize Audrey Hephburn and her frail and feminine physique. I still do, but considering my new obligations I look more towards skinny fit as my goal. I want to be able to fireman lift a girl over my head and drop her down in a controlled manner, but lean enough to have a 23 inch waist. The tiny costumes that I've made for myself have helped to keep me motivated-- I eat almost entirely clean, cook for myself, and workout for 2 hours 3-5 times a week, but I get stressed from school and end up downing a pint of Ben and Jerry's once a week or more as a temporary escape. Then I punish myself with taking senna tabs until I feel empty again. I try to fast, but with the amount of exercise I do and the way my body reacts I just don't know how to push through. I want to be my version of perfect. I want people to look at me and think, "What's her secret?" (A girl from CVS asked me that about my diet a couple of months ago in front of my bf and I was on cloud 9 all day). I want my boyfriend to look at me and not be able to comprehend how he got so lucky. Most of all, I want to look at myself and not be disappointed in what's looking back. I want to feel tiny, petite, extra small, empty, and in control.

Is there anyone who is in their mid 20s or older that deals with not being able to tolerate not eating as much as they used to that has advice for how to get past that? Does anyone have advice for how to deal with the urge to stress eat when school gets real intense? Do EC stacks really make a difference vs the dangers it may have in regards to heart health? It's the day before I go away on a spring break trip with my bf and his band mates and I want to look my best. I want to feel confident enough to wear tight dresses when we go out and make my bf feel like the luckiest guy in the room.

My best friend says I'm crazy for the things I put my body through, or worse the way I beat myself up over how I see myself in the mirror. I broke down to my boyfriend about it earlier in the year as a way to open up, told him how bad my restricting if I wasn't so weak... he calls that weakness common sense. He's more supportive than anyone, but I try not to let that part of me show. I want him to see me as stronger than I really am. I know he loves me for who I am as a person, for the things I've accomplished due to perseverance in the face of adversity, for my heart, my mind, but also my body. A tiny fit body shows hard work and that you care enough in yourself to put in that much effort. But I can't let him see the struggle behind getting there.

It has helped so much to go on this sub and read rants or goal posts that are so similar to what goes on in my head. It helps me feel like I'm not alone in this life-long struggle. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'm sorry for such a long post, but I keep so much bottled up inside. I'm realizing it's healthier if I let some crazy out on the internet now and again.

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 10 05:02:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49t5mf/weekly_emotional_support_march_10_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Taller girls...
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | fat | fatty | -10lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 10 04:34:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49t34s/thinspo_taller_girls/
---
So I found my old proana blog from a while ago and apparently I'd gotten fed up with all the girls in thinspo pictures clearly being shorter than me. So I made a post with pictures from girls who claimed to be 5'7'' or taller and I thought you guys might appreciate this [tiny throwback album :)](http://imgur.com/a/0qV4e).

[Rant/Rave] Well fuck this
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Mar 10 01:34:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49snvb/well_fuck_this/
---
Last night I made a post about how I was fine with what I look like right now.
Just took a picture on timer and oh, about to cry in a little corner.

[Tip] Craveing chocolate chip cookies?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 23:53:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49sei5/craveing_chocolate_chip_cookies/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Low cal salad dressing that doesn't take like ew?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 183 | 29.49 | -67 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 23:42:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49sdhs/low_cal_salad_dressing_that_doesnt_take_like_ew/
---
I am a major ranch fiend but that shit is crazy high cal. What do you eat on your salad?

[Discussion] What does it mean to have an eating disorder and to you? Does it usually matter?
/u/amidala12
Created: Wed Mar 9 23:33:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49sckt/what_does_it_mean_to_have_an_eating_disorder_and/
---
Remembered a really old post where someone was complaining that a lot of people on here just want to be thin and don't have eating disorders. I know there are medical characteristics defining eating disorders, but I just want to know what you guys think? I for instance have done many things that I've hidden from family and friends and some may consider that disordered behavior, but I honestly don't think there is anything mentally damaging causing me to want to be this thin, it's what I want for myself....what do you think? Does it even matter in most cases?

[Rant/Rave] So... Not bingeing didn't work
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 21:07:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rvsh/so_not_bingeing_didnt_work/
---
So this morning I didn't make my coffee at home so I had to bring money to campus. One of my strategies to not binge is to not bring money to temptation but when I got my coffee I bought a muffin as well... 440 calories worth. I thought it was okay because I went to the gym to work it off.

All day I was thinking about this stupid muffin and as soon as I got home I ate the freaking house!

Great only day 9 of 31 and I have already failed

[Rant/Rave] I just wanted to say I messed up bad.
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 21:07:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rvri/i_just_wanted_to_say_i_messed_up_bad/
---
I ate under 1200 including alcohol yesterday. Just ate 2785 calories total today. What the fuck is up with me. Even if i exercised a tiny bit. That is a fucking huge binge. Fuck you peanut butter. I rarely have gotten THAT FUCKING HIGH....i purged some of the dinner I also pigged on but I doubt that did shit.



[Thinspo] [x-posted to /r/TrueThinspo] Short Girls (album)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 19:57:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rmof/xposted_to_rtruethinspo_short_girls_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/NvQfs

[Discussion] Fruit + Liquid Fast! Join me!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 19:57:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rmo6/fruit_liquid_fast_join_me/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Being ok with my binge today
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 19:05:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49rfis/being_ok_with_my_binge_today/
---
I know im in a binge/restrict cycle. I had a terrible binging week last week and I had a 48 hour fast. Then today, I had almost 1900 calories worth of food. And I was getting so mad with myself until I realized that my 48 hour fast provided me with a 4300 calorie loss. Not only that, but my fitbit is calculating that my TDEE for today will be well over 2100 calories. So even with a safe estimation, I wont have actually gained anything. I've started a 60 hour fast today (for me, it started March 9th 20:15, ending March 12th 8:15) during which I'll drop about 5000 calories and this week will be negative 7000, *even including my binge*. I spiralled out of control and got that terrible, awful feeling of helplessly eating and not paying attention to it, but in the end, **it's ok**

[Intro] newbie here :)
/u/eekcoffee [5'6.5'' | 139lbs | 22.1 | -17 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 18:09:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49r7in/newbie_here/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Am I oversensitive because of ED or are people insensitive.....
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 18:06:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49r73p/am_i_oversensitive_because_of_ed_or_are_people/
---
I'm on a road trip (20+ hour drive with just me and my boyfriend) and we are nearing the end so we are both a bit on edge. So I may just be crabby and over dramatic about what just happened but I'm fuming. I've been so good at restricting and sticking to low quantities of my "safe foods" that I packed this whole time. My boyfriend has gotten fast food a few times and heavily unhealthy stacks at rest stops whereas I've only gotten black coffee, diet soda (once) and ate my own packed food. I'm hitting a wall of exhaustion from driving so I decided to get kit Kat minis from a rest stop (tiny bag of them). I didn't hold it against myself and it wasn't in a binge failure frenzy. I just know sugar will pick me up for this last stretch of road. I'm opened them in the store and started eating them and while he made food and fiddled with the cooler in the car, I almost finished them. So I offered him the bag saying, "want one? I'm about to finish them." And he replied with a shocked look, "finish them?! Damn that was fast." ......would your blood boil too? Idk, am I being emotional because I'm exhausted or is that rude to say?

Thanks.

[Thinspo] This is brilliant.
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 16:54:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49qwtj/this_is_brilliant/
---
https://imgur.com/m4QM9I1

[Help] I want to get sick!
/u/kly_0301 [5'2" | 132 | 24.14 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 15:46:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49qma4/i_want_to_get_sick/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Colorful Thinspo + Quotes + Cute Animal Album
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Mar 9 14:04:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49q5oo/colorful_thinspo_quotes_cute_animal_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/HYYEw

[Help] So you know
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Mar 9 13:51:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49q3ig/so_you_know/
---
It's so weird. I'm pretty OK with what I look like right now, I'm still obsessed with what the scale says. How many kcal should I eat to slowly loose more? I'm 5"8 with a BMI of 19.7

It's weird, I thought I'd never reach this point. Maybe it's just for a few days. I don't know.

[Tip] Favorite new low-cal snack
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 13:49:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49q34w/favorite_new_lowcal_snack/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] The day you wear those pants they only had in a size way too small...
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Wed Mar 9 13:42:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49q1rd/the_day_you_wear_those_pants_they_only_had_in_a/
---
And you put them on an wear them for the first time. Maybe it's the xanax/primatine talking, but today is a win. I bought these pants in February 2013 it took 3 years. Size 14 to size 11 (12 to 10 and I'm now 11/9 vanity). Only 2 more to size 7 at 135lbs. Size 5 at 125 to UGW 118 and noting but amazing boss clothes. I will throw out everything and buy all new clothes when I get there.

Who else won today and how did it happen?

[Rant/Rave] I'm not hungry!
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 9 13:11:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49pvwu/im_not_hungry/
---
Does anyone else have days where they just aren't hungry? Like I have no appetite today, which is perfect, because that's just what I need to break my binge and purge cycle!

Usually restricting is hard (obviously) but some days it just takes no effort at all, and those are my favourite days.

Food just sounds so *gross* right now. I'm usually always craving something but right now I probably wouldn't even be able to swallow a cracker :D

I'm not sure what causes it, but sometimes this happens, and I *love it*

I'm so getting back on track.

*Hell yes*

[Rant/Rave] HOLY SHIT + new thinspo album
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 12:28:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49pnt0/holy_shit_new_thinspo_album/
---
Oh my god. Honestly, I never thought that I would EVER receive reddit gold from ANYONE. It means the world to me that something I posted helped someone enough to actually fucking give it gold. I love all of you, so I made yet another album<3 (especially for /u/ifuckpineapples because she said that she likes the motivational quotes)

[Thinspo + Quotes 1] (http://imgur.com/a/fnqI9)

[My original gilded post] (http://imgur.com/a/H26nV)

Love you all so much x

[Help] Freaking out about what to eat for lunch
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 12:17:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49plxa/freaking_out_about_what_to_eat_for_lunch/
---
Sorry no flair, I'm on mobile right now but I'll update it as soon as I can!

I'm at an appointment right now planning all my meals for today and I'm not really sure if this is the right place to post this but I don't have any friends I can ask so here I am. I am having some SERIOUS anxiety about whether I should pick up a salad or eat at the coffeeshop I'm going to. Obviously salad is not the worst thing I could eat (I wish I could just not eat at all but I know I'll binge later if I don't) but it's way more expensive and I'm going to the coffeeshop after anyways. I'm nervous if I pick coffeeshop it'll just be like breads and stuff but if I could find something small and not so carby I feel like calorie wise it wouldn't be much different than a salad and it would be more convenient and way cheaper. I feel really stupid for not being able to make a decision about this but it feels like it matters SO MUCH because I've just been a total fuckup lately with restricting and I don't want to blow it for the millionth time. Ugh

Sorry this is the dumbest post of all time but I hope some of you understand!

[Help] Pseudoephedrine for an EC stack?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 12:12:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49pl2t/pseudoephedrine_for_an_ec_stack/
---
I tried searching the subreddit for info on this but there isn't much, and a Google search just ended up confusing me more.

I went to buy bronkaide to start an EC stack today. However the pharmacy I went to didn't have it or anything with ephedrine on the label. They did have a store brand decongestant with 30mg of pseudoephedrine per tablet, which was a card I had to bring to the pharmacy to get a box of.

Will this still work for an EC stack? The few answers I found online varied from "yes it's the same" to "didn't work at all for me". Should I try anyways?

Second, how much should I take? Most people say to take half a dose of bronkaide, but these pills are tiny (30mg each like I mentioned) and the directions say to take two. Would one tablet with caffeine tomorrow be enough?

Any help is appreciated!

[Discussion] Does anyone else's ED kill their sex life?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 11:59:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49piwh/does_anyone_elses_ed_kill_their_sex_life/
---
I'm on a posting rampage, please excuse me! So I'm 23 and used to have a very high sex drive when my bf and I were first together (met when I was 21). It's been slowly dwindling down since I've gained weight because I'm self-conscious about how I look even though I know he loves me just the way I am. I don't like being naked around him anymore and I don't have any desire for sex. I was also raped when I was 19 and had some flashbacks/triggers from that that make me feel like I want to boil myself and not be around anyone or anything. I feel bad because his libido has always been high since I took his virginity, and that he has needs. He is very supportive about me not wanting to do it, and he doesn't want me to force myself to do things for him. It's nice and all, but I can tell he still resents it a little bit and we make jokes about not having sex ever. I want my relationship to be successful, and I feel I will be a lot better once I lose some weight so I can feel better about myself and have a happier life with him. Does anyone else have this problem?

[Help] Birthday dinner: Say 'fuck it' and binge, or try to restrict?
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 91.8 | 16.6 | -43 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 11:19:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49pcaz/birthday_dinner_say_fuck_it_and_binge_or_try_to/
---
My birthday's in a week, and I don't know what to do. Birthday dinners are a treat for the whole family, not just the person whose birthday it is, so if I don't do anything it'll be rude since I'd be taking something away from my sisters.

I'm happy with where I'm at right now with my body, and I only keep restricting because it's mentally comforting, so I'm try not to look at this from a weight loss perspective.

I'm debating whether or not to go somewhere like the Cheesecake Factory and let myself binge on a 3,000+ cal dinner of cheeseburger, fries and cake (my favorite from when I was younger and had BED) and know I can get back on track within a week if I exercise and restrict a little harder.

Or I could go to a place (I won't name it since it's a very local chain and would give away my location, but it has nutrition info online) that has actually reasonable portions, and I could fit a normal-looking dinner into a regular day's calorie limit. This is the obvious choice, but I'm still losing fairly quickly despite trying to maintain, and I'm afraid if I don't 'sabotage' myself once in a while I'll lose too quickly and end up in the hospital. But I also sometimes think that's old BED me trying to trick me into giving up and gettiing fat again, and then I think *those* thoughts are just anorexic me trying to starve me to death, ad nauseum.

It's literally like having the devil and angel on my shoulders telling me what to do, I just can't tell which is which! Any advice would be incredibly helpful, but just knowing someone else has gone through something similar would be great.

Thank you so much, I love you all <3!

[Discussion] Keto
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 10:53:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49p81t/keto/
---
Is anyone else doing keto? I'm trying out again until we leave on vacation next month and this is harder than I remember.

Plus I had a meltdown in the mall because I'm too fat for everything. I have no idea what to wear and my husband is not helping. I'm so tired of hating myself. I just need to drop this weight so it can stop.

[Rant/Rave] Overwhelmed
/u/gossamerwings_ [5'6" | 155 | 25.05 | -14 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 10:27:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49p3kz/overwhelmed/
---
I feel like I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. In life, I mean. I feel like everything is out of control: school, my personal life, and my body. I can't STAND looking at myself anymore. I feel like I just want to shrivel up and go away somewhere.

[Help] constantly constipated
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 124.5 | 21.65 | F | 27y]
Created: Wed Mar 9 10:21:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49p2q9/constantly_constipated/
---
This is a semi rant/semi asking for help post.

I changed my diet pretty heavily 2 weeks ago. Stopped eating pasta, bread, rice. Instead I'm drinking 2 smoothies a day and something solid (usually meat or dairy). I average 900cals over the week. I add chia seeds, veggies and fruit to my water based smoothies.

I haven't been able to go #2 for days. My weight has stagnated at 132 for days now and it's hell. I used to abuse laxatives pretty heavily so I try to stay natural but nothing is working so far.

I just tried [Agiolax](https://www.google.ch/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjar8HJjbTLAhWIaA8KHdV4B7EQFggdMAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flordis.com.au%2Fproduct%2Fagiolax&usg=AFQjCNHpUrFTXpkKgwMxwHT5dsXKCz746w&sig2=P1PyT-5MQ9e8Qh4QejSAug) and now I'm so bloated, holy hell, I'm about to cry. My bf is coming over in 2 hours and my belly looks about 7 or 8 months pregnant.

Has anyone ever tried a fiber laxative? Or do you have some recommendations for laxatives? I live in Switzerland/Europe so not sure if I have access to the same stuff as you do but usually chemical compounds are universal, just resold under different names.


[Rant/Rave] Health Food Store find, worth trying!
/u/scribblescrabblerag3 [5'1| 102 lbs| 20.13 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 09:54:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49oy4m/health_food_store_find_worth_trying/
---
So I bought a Virgil's Zero Cream Soda in a glass bottle when I was wandering around a health food store and it is HEAVEN.

Glass bottle diet soda ftw. I'm fasting right now and really thirsty and water hasn't been doing much. /: So I got Emergen-C Electro Mix too, I heard someone rave about it a while ago on here.

There's a lot of stuff in that tiny store. I finally have found a place that sells a good variety of Yogi tea. :D

Any good buys anyone would like to share?

[Rant/Rave] Massage Last Night/Why The FUCK Can't I Calm Down
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 09:46:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49owv3/massage_last_nightwhy_the_fuck_cant_i_calm_down/
---
I got see a chiropractor twice a month for back issues I've had forever. They have a massage clinic too and initially got an intro offer for two sessions and then I bought a 4 pack. I had my first of four last night since I've been triggered to basically start up my ED again. All I could think about was that she was rubbing my fat all over and how it needs to go. It was relaxing and she did a great job but the whole time I was self-conscious and having anxiety about everything. I am chronically unable to relax, partially due to my bi-polar and anxiety, but I have worked 2 jobs for the last 4 years because I can't say NO to people and also because I am unable to allow myself to relax and take care of myself. One of my jobs ends on the 18th, so I can look forward to finding time for myself and my condo and bf and cats then. Sorry for the rant, I was just wondering if anyone else gets anxiety like this when they get a massage.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 9 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49op2j/daily_food_diary_march_09_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 09, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Thinspo] Anti-Thinspo
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 08:22:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49oidw/antithinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/zPd7V

[Thinspo] Thinspo: Acacia Brinley (Don't really know who she is, but she's body goals omg)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 08:16:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ohi4/thinspo_acacia_brinley_dont_really_know_who_she/
---
http://imgur.com/a/M581k

[Thinspo] Thinspo + Anti Binge 2 - because you guys liked my first one <3
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 08:12:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ogtr/thinspo_anti_binge_2_because_you_guys_liked_my/
---
http://imgur.com/a/H26nV

[Rant/Rave] Binged at work today, got called out by a colleague
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.2 kg (95 lbs) | last binged 30th March]
Created: Wed Mar 9 07:20:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49o8ns/binged_at_work_today_got_called_out_by_a_colleague/
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I work at a great office with endless snacks. Was supposed to restrict today but cake was served and was triggered into bingeing, so I kept going back to the pantry for fresh cookies.

This guy I work with was all like "eyyyyy you're really gunning those cookies huh, thought you were all for healthy eating" (I usually eat salads at work)

Ā 


It was a total wake up call and I feel so fucking embarrassed and I came home and binged even more.

Now I have thoughts about initiating a fast but I know it's just going to be another vicious cycle of fast/binge/restrict/binge again. I feel a little fragile, not totally broken because today's binge wasn't my usual level of epic fuckitude, but it's moments like these that make me think of recovery and how fucked it is that I don't even know if I want it or not.

Ā 

I feel like a girl who's in an abusive relationship with a guy with an amazing smile, who remembers what you wore on your first date and can perfectly imitate your laugh. But at the same time he's cagey about his phone and the last time you secretly read his messages you saw him wish That Bombshell Katie goodnight and told her that he'll see her in his dreams. When you're stressed out and busy as fuck he silently does a grocery run and makes dinner without being asked, but also when you gain a few pounds he pokes you in the belly and calls you his squishy.

Ā 

I'm sorry if this has gone onto a crazy tangent but this is the first time my ED has really manifested itself like a person...a really toxic person. BED has been decent enough to let me function, just barely, just enough to make me think I'm happy, and then these things happen that shake me up and make me realize what a phony I am.

The struggle is real. The struggle between wanting to be thin and wanting to be happy. Do we want both? What if we had to choose one? Could we really? I don't know if I can.

[Discussion] Who wants to start with me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 07:14:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49o7tp/who_wants_to_start_with_me/
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[deleted]

[Thinspo] I was reminded by a comment on here of how much I loved Grimes (aka Claire Boucher) and her aesthetic, so I put together a little thinspo album
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 06:10:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49nzbd/i_was_reminded_by_a_comment_on_here_of_how_much_i/
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http://imgur.com/a/bQeqF

[Help] Help me not binge today!
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 9 05:33:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49nur9/help_me_not_binge_today/
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I have to get a lot of homework done so I'll be at home for most of the day. And all I can think about is food. I just successfully avoided a binge by going for a walk and after that I had a light lunch (~54cal). I really want to complete no binge March, so I could really use your support. Thanks so much <3

[Help] Eating candy at work
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Mar 9 02:40:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ne4o/eating_candy_at_work/
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There's always TONS of free candy at work and I can never stop myself. Ideas?

[Rant/Rave] Clothing
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 9 02:15:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49nbw6/clothing/
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Sorry for posting so much lately, but I've been feeling very lost. And I'd like to talk about clothing when it comes to EDs.

Ever since I can remember, I've been super fussy about clothing. I can never find something I like that I will wear for more than about 3 months. I buy something, I love it, I wear it about 10 times and then I learn to hate how I look in it, and how fat it makes me feel. I always compare myself to girls who dress better and look thinner. I can never find a style that suits me. At the moment I love mom jeans and soft, long sleeved shirts because they dont attract attention to my body shape, and are gender-neutral. I feel like people stare at me because I dress comfortably, and maybe that makes me look like a bit of a dork. And it's not just how I look; I'm so worried that that they don't properly reflect who I am as a person.

I can't go clothes shopping in person anymore, I buy most of my clothes online and when I hate them on me, I sell them on eBay.

PLEASE tell me some of you are like this? I wish I could wear pajamas out in public because they are always so oversized and roomy..

[Rant/Rave] Omgggg im so happy but i cant really tell anyone IRL
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 23:46:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49mxkq/omgggg_im_so_happy_but_i_cant_really_tell_anyone/
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Guys/gals/y'all! Sorry im mobile so no flare but omgggg my scale was fluctuating between 124.8lbs and 125.5lbs but EITHER FUCKING WAY... Oh MY Gawd. i successfully got high last night without binging, ive been doing so well at not binging which means no purging (yay!!!!) Aaannnddd that tiny sliver of light between the top of my thighs is growing! (Fuckmylifeyasss) im so happy and excited and i can't wait.

Also ive been watching Grimes music videos on repeat and i want to be her! Ughhh.

[Rant/Rave] Thank you for your support yesterday. I failed, but it's not all bad.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 21:55:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49miom/thank_you_for_your_support_yesterday_i_failed_but/
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Yesterday I was thinking about binging and purging and posted here. And I got a lot of encouraging and insightful replies, there was many good ideas how I could avoid it. I thank you for those.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to follow that advice. In the afternoon I went to the grocery store and bought about 25 euros worth of food... And got home and started binging. But I felt bad, it wasn't satisfying and I was really disappointed with myself. When I had binged about half of the food, I went to purge. After that I thought that well, I still have a lot of food, I could do it again. But then.... I decided against it! I poured detergent all over the food so I couldn't take it back from the trash(having done that before). It was difficult and I regretted it immediately after I'd done it, but now I'm happy about it. I binged and purged only once, and now my goal is to keep it that way for the rest of the week.

Thank you again for your advice yesterday, I will need it later this week I'm sure.

[Discussion] Cotton ball diet??
/u/Wishbones_Ana [5'6 | 169.8 | | 10.2 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 21:33:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49mfag/cotton_ball_diet/
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Alright, I realize this is regarded as one of the MOST dangerous diets out there.



Cotton can get stuck in your intestines causing blockages that need to be surgically removed.

Cotton can lacerate your intestines.

You can inadvertently digest chemicals from inorganic cotton consumption.

Your organs can ultimately shut down and you will die.



THAT BEING SAID I am not posting to discuss the dangers of this diet.

I am fully and intensely curious to hear experiences of anyone who has or who knows someone who has actually tried this diet?



What is it really like?

Did it work?

What consequences did you/them experience??



Please share ANY stories/experiences you have about the cotton ball diet for this genuinely curious girl.



Thanks

[Rant/Rave] Fever munchies and Gatorade
/u/fantomlvr [5' 6" | 185.6 | 30.08 | -24.8 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 20:29:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49m6tn/fever_munchies_and_gatorade/
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Ugh, ended up with a hell of a fever yesterday (and part of today) and I've just been eating like crazy because I feel so weak from being sick. I haven't even been counting calories because I'm so scared. Plus, my lovely boyfriend bought me a metric shit ton of sports drinks to stay hydrated and those are anywhere from 150 to 450 cals a bottle (I honestly do adore him, but why can't he just let me turn into a shriveled up raisin instead???).

I'm just frustrated and want to cry because I don't feel good and the shit I've been putting in my body is making me feel even worse.

Any tips for what I can do to 1) get rid of the weakness from the fever and 2) lose whatever I may gain from this fever binge?

[Rant/Rave] Binge so hard mfers wanna find me
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 19:12:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lvpa/binge_so_hard_mfers_wanna_find_me/
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No but seriously I'm 1000% done with myself. Yesterday started out totally fine, soup for breakfast with pickled veg and anchovies....then it got to be too much. My mom made cabbage with sausages and I ate 3/4 of a huge pot of it, a mug cake with peanut butter and chocolate chips, more anchovies, like 3oz of truffle cheese, more pickled veg, rice with pesto and parmesan and I honestly feel like I'm forgetting something but holy shit. I was stuffed AND YET I still kept eating...I didn't hit my water goal, but my stomach was distended and I haven't been able to purge any of it. That was yesterday, so all the calories are probably already in my system. I went on a walk today (about 3 mi) and I'm gonna do some body weight exercises, but nothing inside me seems to be moving. Plus, like an idiot, after I went grocery shopping I went to chipotle and ate like a whole bag of tortilla chips. I'm drinking more water as we speak and chugging black coffee (added bonus, it's cold out so that's keeping me warm), but I feel so fucking sick and mad at myself like where the hell is my self-control? What the fuck...and I have a date this week and I really like this guy and he saw me naked while I was fasting....I'm so much fatter now and I'm really afraid he's gonna absolutely hate me (which is so dumb, he says he loves my personality, and like it feels so fucking antifeminist for me to be like "I wanna get skinny so a guy will like me!!" but here the fuck I am). I'm so...I'm just mad idk /endrant

[Discussion] Songs you listen when you feel down?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 18:22:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49locs/songs_you_listen_when_you_feel_down/
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Whenever I'm feeling sad or angsty, I turn on some music that expresses how I feel or have slow tunes to them. Do you guys have any favorites to help cheer you up or express yourself?

[Help] have I changed, or has the thinspo, or have the goalposts...
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 18:07:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lm3s/have_i_changed_or_has_the_thinspo_or_have_the/
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Don't know what to think anymore. Conventional thinspo and I just think, "well, I kinda almost look like that. And I definitely have BDD. So I'm probably smaller." Bonespo doesn't look massively attractive to me. IDK! I don't know what I want out of this anymore.


Everyone keeps nagging me for being too small and trying to force food on me, which is a lovely ego boost, but keeps smacking me in to binging and purging because it means I eat outside of the very limited number/things that I am comfortable eating. In a way I wish I could open that up again - because a kiwi or a stalk of celery or heck a bag of spinach isn't going to kill me, it just doesn't feel "safe". My "safe" list has gotten so small and restrictive that I've spent more time the past few days wandering around supermarkets crying because they don't have the right whatever, than I have doing anything else.

What do I want?? I don't think I can look into treatment because I don't want to open up a huge can of emotional worms this far into my degree. Do I just ignore other people and keep forging my own path? Eating my comfy food? Sometimes I feel like I am small enough and don't even have any more weight to lose - sometimes I feel like I am too small and gross looking. I know my scales overestimate by 4kg (8.8lbs) or so I've been told, but NOW even if I stick by the numbers my stupid scales from the 70's give me, I am pretty underweight. But how can I maintain? Maintaining just seems to spin me off on b/p sessions.

Jesus good god help me. Should I go to a doctor? Should I just keep going until I hit "goals" (lol, what's that) and then reassess? Fuck my need for pre-planning everything

[Rant/Rave] I hate myself.
/u/beadsofjade [5'4 | nah | 24 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 17:57:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lkr3/i_hate_myself/
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Apologies for the whiny mess of a post you're about to read but god, I can't stand myself.

I've been over my calorie limit every single day for weeks. Not enough to label any of the episodes as a binge, but I've been trying to restrict to 500 a day and I've mostly been doing at least 1000 a day. Like what is wrong with me? I'm trying to lose weight. I'm a fat whale. I need to be smaller but for some reason I keep fucking messing up.

And I feel like I'm gaining weight. I don't have a scale so I don't know for sure, but I just feel like I am and I fucking hate it.

I'm about to do crunches for the next hour until my abs hurt so bad that I can't stand it, chug a bunch of water, smoke a cigarette, and then go to bed.

I can't stand myself right now. I have to change. I absolutely have to.

[Rant/Rave] I blame my phone!
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 17:40:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lia2/i_blame_my_phone/
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I just realized ever since my phone cracked and stopped working I've been binging every day and haven't been in control of anything in my life. I believe the reason behind my recent failures is because I haven't had my phone where I keep everything, my thinspo, calorie counter/tracker, easy access to this sub and tumblr, and just everything else that keeps my in control. Apart from that there isn't a specific date I'm striving towards like last time. This just shows how weak I am. When in reality it's all my fault and not my phone's. I was the one that dropped it and I'm the one who is dependent of it.
How do I even get back on track and fix my thoughts... I feel like I've fallen into a hole and I can't get out of it. I need to fix my phone asap.

*Edit: spelling

[Rant/Rave] Successfully made myself feel sick by watching a food documentary
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 17:38:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lhwt/successfully_made_myself_feel_sick_by_watching_a/
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I had the urge to be disgusted with myself tonight in order to make myself not want to binge. So I watched Fed Up on netflix. I dont know if anyone here has seen the documentary before, but I got two things out of it.

One, the first half of the movie, filled with shots of obese guts and enormous calorie dense meals being scarfed down by overweight people, successfully made me feel sick and no longer hungry. I dont want to have any food near me now, oh my god.

Second, the rest of the movie was so full of fatlogic and nutritional misinformation that i felt nearly enraged. how could they make a movie to enlighten people on the obesity epidemic and say "a calorie isnt a calorie, its sugar that making people fat, not calories! People work out and are still fat sometimes, its not their fault! sweeteners are actually worse than sugar!"

its. so. wrong! its clear they didnt want to talk about weightloss, just food companies adding sugar to things. Its so packed with fatlogic its making my head spin. In any case, I sincerely dont recommend watching this movie unless you want to make yourself lose your appetite, whether its from disgust or anger.

[Rant/Rave] Silver Linings
/u/p7entifull [63"| 100|17.7 | -17| F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 17:20:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lfcm/silver_linings/
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Hello my beautiful friends. I'm just venting a little bit. It's been a hell of a couple weeks.

My distorted views on food had always been a cause of serious strain between my long term boyfriend and I. He had a hard time sympathizing with the very limited knowledge he had my eating habits and I felt like he was mocking some serious issues I had most of the time. This led to some serious blow outs.

He left me two weeks ago. I am sad I guess, losing a long term relationship is never easy or comfortable. Now I realize how free I feel. I can focus on me, and what makes me feel good, without judgement.

I can't update my flair because I'm on mobile, but since I left our old apartment and moved out on my own, I have hit a new goal and reached 100lb flat. I haven't binged once. I don't feel like I have to hide anything.

And even beyond eating issues, I can listen to the music I want and make my house a place that feels like a sanctuary to me. I had almost forgotten what that was like!

So sometimes, with the bad stuff, there's lots of good that comes too. I hope everybody is doing well, and if you're going through a hard time, I'm extending an internet hug.

You guys are amazing. Thank you.

[Help] Insane hunger pangs?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Tue Mar 8 16:46:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49lafk/insane_hunger_pangs/
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Today is I think my 5th day of eating ~800 cals and I woke up today with really intense hunger pangs that come and go. It started yesterday. I drink water and take ec stacks and pace my food around the day, and they hurt so bad. Will they go away with time? I've fasted for two days last month and I never got these...

[Thinspo] Dont give up
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 15:21:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kxa0/dont_give_up/
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http://i.imgur.com/QlgmMog.jpg

[Intro] Intro :)
/u/bulkat [5'5" | CW: 127.4 | BMI: 21.3 | - 10lbs. | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 15:15:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kw9c/intro/
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Hello everyone, I'm a very long time lurker and first time poster in this subreddit. This year I decided to finally acknowledge my drug and alcohol addiction and commit to a recovery program so that I can put myself on a path to a successful future, which required me to move back in with my parents and come home from college for the semester. The adjustment has been quite difficult, but one of the many positive benefits I've noticed is that I have been losing weight without much difficulty. After plateauing at my current weight of 127.4 for the past week or so, I decided to start an EC stack today on top of diet and exercise to help me shed the last 15ish pounds to reach my goal weight, although I haven't really decided what that is yet. Anyway, sorry that this post is a bit boring, I just wanted to connect with this group of awesome people to help keep myself accountable and to give and receive support from like minded people who understand. Thanks guys!

[Help] Constantly hungry when on antidepressant - help me!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 8 15:12:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kvmv/constantly_hungry_when_on_antidepressant_help_me/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 175.6 | 28.34 | -44.4 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:56:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kt21/what_the_fuck_am_i_doing/
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I've been training a girl at work so I've had no privacy to interact on this sub. I miss you guys. I've been slacking *so fucking hard.* It's incredible. I'm letting myself slip. I am becoming complacent and I just don't care. Where is my motivation? I worked so hard to lose this weight and I'm just eating myself back to where I was. JUST STOP ALREADY. Food controls my life and it's killing me.

[Intro] I made an account just for you guys. [mobile intro]
/u/KatnipAndTuck [5'2 | 156 | - 5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:41:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kqhe/i_made_an_account_just_for_you_guys_mobile_intro/
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I've been lurking here off and on for years and I have been thinking about making an account but I didn't know if anyone would want to hear me. I didn't have anyone else to talk to. My friend who I can usually say things to is in recovery now.

I was doing very well for about a year when I realized that I had gained a heck of a lot of weight and I couldn't stand it anymore so I started dieting and well normal dieting doesn't stay normal with me for very long.

I just got a midterm back and I failed. Now hat would be bad in the first place, but I have already taken this class before. How stupid can I be? I am taking it for a second time and I still fucking failed. I'm such a loser. I still have another year and a half left until I graduate and that is if I pass everything. I don't think I can do it.

Everyday I think about throwing myself off burnside for no good reason. If you don't want to talk to someone -- go to burnside. If you can't find the safety factor-- hey remember burnside? I've never wanted to kill myself before but I just don't want to do this.

I know I'm being a shitty whiny baby you don't have to tell me.

[Rant/Rave] I ruined what could have been a good day
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:10:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kljd/i_ruined_what_could_have_been_a_good_day/
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I'd been doing so, so well the past week. Until today. I had a massive binge on a 10 hour flight. I ate everything in a four course meal, including dessert, I ate the entire snack tray (cookies, chips, and mars bars) and a half (someone asked if I was okay), and I also ate two burgers as the last meal on the flight.
I feel disgusting, I hate myself, reflux keeps coming up, I feel so hot, and my heart is racing even though I am standing here waiting for my mom to pick me up from the airport. My veins are prominent and my skin is red. I don't know what's going on. Why am I doing this to myself.

Any support is appreciated

[Discussion] What are you happy about today?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:07:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kl18/what_are_you_happy_about_today/
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I'm feeling hopeful and motivated and disciplined for the first time in a long time today, and wanted to share the love. I haven't binged or purged in three days, I landed a great new client, and I finally omg finally got paid for a huge job I did last year.

Plus, even with a couple weeks of shitty eating today is somehow the day that I HAVE A THIGH GAP, in jeans, even with heels and knees pressed together and tailbone tucked. Tiny and awkward but it's there!

What is going well for you today/this week? Sometimes this crap is so hard and even tiny little positives are worth celebrating.

[Discussion] Anti Thinspo?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 8 14:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kktn/anti_thinspo/
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[deleted]

[Thinspo] I haven't binged in two days, and I did it by looking at these pictures. [Thinspo included]
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 13:25:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kdqw/i_havent_binged_in_two_days_and_i_did_it_by/
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http://imgur.com/a/W0KXq

[Discussion] Does anyone else have a strange diet BESIDES restriction?
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 13:15:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49kc0v/does_anyone_else_have_a_strange_diet_besides/
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For instance, I am vegetarian AND keto (eating under 20g of carbs a day) as well as restricting my calorie intake to between 500-800 calories a day. Does anyone else do something similar and want to swap recipes? Or does anyone else have a different strange diet? Do you find this easier or harder to also restrict while doing it? I think it helps me because it eliminates a lot of choices for me, and it also kind of forces me to be more creative in the kitchen which is fun and fives me a more positive experience with food rather than always negative.

[Intro] I am new here and am hoping for a friend or two :)
/u/BetterMeInside [5'6" |236.6 | 38.4 | -3.4 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 13:03:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49k9ya/i_am_new_here_and_am_hoping_for_a_friend_or_two/
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So, I am 30, a mother of an 11 year old, and have a litany of mental health issues and have been on a ton of meds and rapidly got to the horrid weight of 256. I dropped down to 240 and and now working on restricting to get to a decent weight again. Those meds killed me. They were supposed to help the depression but I just go so fat it only made the depression worse! I am just sick of the rollercoaster! Anyhow, here I am. I just want to be smaller and to feel like a person again.

[Rant/Rave] Gained :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 8 12:32:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49k4em/gained/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Mods deleted my post because I'm not sick enough. Way to encourage me! I am a "recovered" anorexic with bulimic tendencies. Just because I'm "fat" doesn't mean I'm not still struggling and looking for support!
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Mar 8 10:35:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49jjzc/mods_deleted_my_post_because_im_not_sick_enough/
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[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 8 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49j45g/daily_food_diary_march_08_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 08, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Today is March 8th, 8 days into th no binge challenge. So, participants...
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Tue Mar 8 07:36:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49iqqg/today_is_march_8th_8_days_into_th_no_binge/
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How have you been doing?

I bind once. It was on alcohol and the next day I poo'd for the first time in a week - so I called it a necessary binge. I am down over 3 lbs from the 1st of March and plan on going as low as possible (I'm a total fatty right now looking to loose 30lbs to goal weight, then I'll decide UGW).

For those of you who posted on the original thread (like 35 comments?) Have you binged? Is there anyone else who wants to share their no-bibge record or streak?

[Intro] Intro!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 8 07:01:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ilrf/intro/
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Hi everyone! Stepping out of the shadows here - been lurking long enough, thought I'd introduce myself because everyone here seems so supportive and friendly and I wanted to contribute :)

Bit about me - I'm type 1 Diabetic (NOT the one associated with obesity - its hereditary; I couldnā€™t have stopped it if I'd wanted). I usually donā€™t take my medication so that I essentially pee out all calories and metabolize fat instead of energy which I know sounds great but in reality all my organs are shutting down and my blood is essentially syrup :-/

I was diagnosed with anorexia about 8 years ago, and I switch from restricting to binging to not taking meds.

Anyway I hope I can make some helpful contributions....and maybe some friends who "understand" :)


[Discussion] How many calories do you eat a day? How much do you burn through exercise?
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Mar 8 06:24:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49igjh/how_many_calories_do_you_eat_a_day_how_much_do/
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[removed]

[Intro] Hey there!
/u/kelbel92
Created: Tue Mar 8 06:07:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49iehk/hey_there/
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I'm new here, but needed some support with this constant struggle ... I had a bad day at the weekend where I lost my willpower completely and binged on junk food, and I'm struggling with hunger pangs today, which is really unlike me :(

You're all beautiful x

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A March 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 8 05:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49i6sb/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_march_08_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] [Goal] So technically I only lost 0.2 pounds...
/u/finding_zen [5'3 | 135 | 24.58 | -7 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 03:17:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49hw3b/goal_so_technically_i_only_lost_02_pounds/
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...but I've been going from fasting to binge eating and back and forth all week after being stressed out by a hospital visit. I'm sooo glad I didn't gain any weight, it seriously feels like a miracle. Last time I stepped on the scale last week I was 137.2 lbs without my shoes or a jacket. This week I stepped on with my shoes, a heavy jacket (hurry up, Spring!), with my phone/keys/wallet in my pockets and was only 137.0. Last time I checked, my shoes and jacket with everything were right around three pounds, but I'm not going to update my flair until I actually see a lower number on the scale. I'm still so excited though. Some days it's just the little things :)

[Goal] I unexpectedly realized I have made progress.
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 8 00:10:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49hd2a/i_unexpectedly_realized_i_have_made_progress/
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As my flair says I've lost about 25 pounds (minus the water weight I'll gain back), and I have noticed some changes, like my stomach looking slightly flatter. Other people have also said I look different, but I haven't noticed.

Today was the first really warm day in a long while and so I wore shorts instead of yoga pants or jeans. I'm behind on laundry and haven't switched from winter to summer clothes yet, so I only had this pair that was basically skintight on me by the end of last summer. Today? Fit normally. If anything it was a little loose. It surprised the hell out of me.

I will keep going and lose another 15-25, and then have to buy lovely new pretty clothes that I've always wanted to wear but never had the body or confidence to. :)

[Rant/Rave] Those Recipe Videos on FB
/u/deanhipchester [5' | 121.2 lbs | 24.93 | -20.8 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 22:33:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49h0cf/those_recipe_videos_on_fb/
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I'm sure you've seen them, whether it be Buzzfeed or Tasty or whatever chef keeps coming up with new ideas, they keep popping up on my timeline! And being as weak as I am, I actually watch them until I'm STARVING and can hardly make it through my fast.

Gah damn.

[Tip] Weird but effective craving killer...
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 22:32:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49h06g/weird_but_effective_craving_killer/
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so this is strange but totally works for me. I will take some [kernel season's](http://www.kernelseasons.com/products/) popcorn seasoning powder (I like white cheddar) and sprinkle about a teaspoon onto a spoon. Then while watching tv or something ill lick a finger, dip it in the powder, and lick again. A teaspoon will last me about 20 minutes. Most of the flavors they have are about 8 calories a teaspoon, and it really does it for me! It's basically the good part of flavored popcorn or chips.... Anyway, just thought I'd share. I find them at walmart usually

[Discussion] What's your favorite inspirational quote?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 21:57:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49gv2k/whats_your_favorite_inspirational_quote/
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I haven't lost weight at all since Halloween, it's humiliating. Now I'm trying to get back on track, but I'm craving waffles something fierce. What's your favorite mantra or inspirational quote to keep yourself strong?

[Help] 3 days without binging and purging, but I'm afraid I'll do it today.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 95 | 15,99| -33 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 21:56:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49guyh/3_days_without_binging_and_purging_but_im_afraid/
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So I managed to be three days without binging and purging and that's quite an achievement for me. I also have kept my daily calories under 600 and have worked out daily... And my face is just starting to look normal, my jawline is still a bit swollen because I b/ped a lot last week. My flat is clean, I feel great and I'm quite proud of myself.

But still I'm afraid I'll binge and purge today. I have this arrangement where I get a weekly allowance every Tuesday, and I have binged and purged regularly every damn Tuesday because apparently I can't have any money I don't use right away.

But I really wouldn't like to. I don't even crave anything, I don't feel like stuffing my face once again with chocolate and cookies. But I feel like I sort of have to do it anyway. Any words of advice?

[Thinspo] sunny days thinspo/fitspo
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 21:45:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49gtbd/sunny_days_thinspofitspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/yBaCE

[Tip] Hefty looking one-pan pork chop dinner at 399 calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 21:05:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49gnaj/hefty_looking_onepan_pork_chop_dinner_at_399/
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I suspect there may be a lot of people on here who occasionally need to cook for themselves, especially in front of other people. This is a hefty looking dinner, but it's actually about as lean as you can imagine. I like to give any fatty pieces to my dog, further reducing the calorie count. It doesn't hurt that it's good for you, cheap as dirt, and tasty.

**Pork Chop in Apple-Dijon Sauce & Braised Baby Carrots**

7 oz boneless pork loin chop

.5 tsp salt

.5 tsp black pepper

2 servings of baby carrots (18 carrots)

3 Tbs fresh parsley

3 Tbs apple cider vinegar

1 Tbs dijon mustard

Put a heavy cast iron pan on medium-high heat. While it's heating up, gather your ingredients & sprinkle the salt & pepper over the pork chop (on both sides). Put the pork chop in the pan (if it doesn't sizzle, the pan is too cold. Take the pork chop out and wait a minute or two). Put the baby carrots in the pan next to the pork chop. After 3-4 minutes, flip the pork chop over. The cooked side should have some nice browning. While it's cooking, pick the parsley leaves off the stems. After the meat has cooked for another 3-4 minutes, use tongs to touch the fatty side to the pan, and sear it for 1-2 minutes. Check that the meat is cooked to your liking by either cutting into the center, or with a probe thermometer (130F is ideal for most people, it'll carry over to 135F). Put the meat on your plate and let it rest (don't cut it yet). Toss the apple cider vinegar into the pan over the carrots, and sprinkle in the parsley. Simmer the carrots in the vinegar until it's reduced to about a tablespoon, maybe 2-3 minutes. Put the parsley-covered carrots on your plate, but leave the reduced vinegar in the pan. Add the dijon mustard. Using a rubber spatula, mix the sauce in the pan well, then scrape it out onto the pork chop.

399 calories

44g protein

18g carbs

14g fat

5g fiber

Rich in vitamin A, B12, C, & K, all of which can be tricky to get enough of.

[Help] why does feeling full make me want to eat more?
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Mon Mar 7 20:11:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49gf5o/why_does_feeling_full_make_me_want_to_eat_more/
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when im restricting, I have no problems. However the second i feel too full, like even on veggies or an extra fluffy protein shake (what happened today- blended it for too long so was thicker) i go into binge mode. ah how do i stop this


[Help] Primatene crash?
/u/fearsize [5'4" | 126 | 22.05 | -3 | f]
Created: Mon Mar 7 18:50:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49g2r3/primatene_crash/
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I started taking a single dose(1-2 tabs) every day and have noticed that I'm crashing really hard at night. I get really tired and emotional(usually precursors to a binge), but if I take another tab I end up awake later than I want to.

Has anyone else experienced this, and if so how do you deal with it?

[Rant/Rave] I'm proud so I feel like sharing
/u/russianfrank
Created: Mon Mar 7 18:47:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49g29d/im_proud_so_i_feel_like_sharing/
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I haven't eaten in the past two days (had really shitty days, but I don't get hungry when that happens) and today when I stepped onto the scales, I saw that I lost 6-8 lbs. I know it's not real weight perse, but I haven't been this weight in months. *yay for me* Now to keep it up and not binge (:
My day started off pretty well, how's your day going?

[Goal] Going on a three day fast! Any joiners?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 18:20:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49fxzz/going_on_a_three_day_fast_any_joiners/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Who to follow on tumblr or pinterest?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 17:22:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49foz3/who_to_follow_on_tumblr_or_pinterest/
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**Note:** please don't share your social media accounts here if there's any personal or identifying information on them, including your face!

This weekend I've been stuck in bed with the flu, so I've been killing tons of time on pinterest and tumblr, and I created whole new accounts dedicated to thinspo. Anyone have an account or suggestions for other good people to follow?

PS. I know people post about this every so often, but I did a search and most of the threads seem pretty old or they've disappeared.



[Rant/Rave] Never listening to my thoughts again...
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 16:51:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49fjyk/never_listening_to_my_thoughts_again/
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I messed up, once again. I'm so disappointed in myself and my thoughts that always trick me and make things harder for me. So lately I've been obsessed with vegan recipes so I've been watching a lot of these videos. Turns out today I got home earlier from work and I wanted to cook a meal for my family for one of the videos I saw. During this time I started over thinking and thought it was a good idea to actually eat the meal and try to 'recover' and make more yummy vegan meals and just enjoy life and eating cause life's too short and food is good.

**Bad idea**

I feel so disgusting right now, of course I not only ate the meal I made but a bunch of other crap and someone's been in the upstairs bathroom for the past hour so I haven't been able to purge. I feel so bad I want to cry and self-harm (although I haven't done it in forever). I'm so mad at myself for letting myself believe I can 'recover' and not binge and not get fatter than I already am.

I'm going to fast for the next couple of days until I pass out or something because what I did today and what I've been doing for the past two weeks is unforgivable. I can't trust myself I cannot believe anything I say. I need to go lower than 110lbs I cannot stay around this weight any longer it's making me anxious argh.

[Help] Purging question?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Mon Mar 7 16:44:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49fizq/purging_question/
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Never done it before, kinda terrifies me, but i guess,thats somewhat good. I restrict a lot, but have been getting huge sugar cravings recently out of nowhere, asking mostly out of curiousity.
. please answer honestly...as unhealthy as i know purging is, does it work? Or after you've eaten,is there,nothing you can really do? If i got a craving really badly and ate, could i have it not count if i purge 30 mins after? :/

[Help] rant. advice. it's his birthday!
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Mar 7 14:45:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ezg9/rant_advice_its_his_birthday/
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today is my husband's birthday. at midnight, i already gave him his first present which was an expensive warhammer starter kit. now he is at work, and the plan was to set out rose petals and fake candles in a path to the bedroom door and i would be waiting for him in lingerie. the problem; i am really sick. it started yesterday, like full on flu-i'm-dying-in-mucus sick. also, i am on my period and the flow is sorta heavy. he wants a bunch of sex and i dont want to ruin his birthday. i dont have benadryl otherwise i would dose up. i took an ec stack. how can i suck it up? cold medicine does nothing to help. i dont want to ruin his whole day by being bedridden sick and not surprising him with romance. ugh.

[Discussion] Eat Water slim range
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 115.8lbs | 17.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 14:44:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ez9o/eat_water_slim_range/
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Has anyone tried the Eat Water slim range?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eat-Water-Range-Noodles-Pouches/dp/B00LIYPPIY/ref=sr_1_4?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1457387022&sr=1-4&keywords=eat+water

Claims to be around 20kcal per packet and you add your own sauce?

I'm dubious to how it tastes...

[Rant/Rave] I'm so confused
/u/grassbum [5'5" | 97 | 16.33 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 14:09:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49et6t/im_so_confused/
---
I've been having this weird thing with my exboyfriend and I've been acting crazy, I'm really trying to get back together. I keep blaming him for not caring which is dumb because like obviously he doesn't. Last week he said we could hang out if I got my eating behaviors under control and I should gain some weight. We've hung out twice since then, when we're together I feel like I'm home. It's so hard to do this though. I know its not healthy, he's hanging out with me because he feels like he has to. I keep bringing up saying like "Oh you don't care about me, you don't want a girlfriend you want a fuckbuddy". It's so hard to care about someone so much and them just disregard you. When ever we text, I get crazy and sad. My life is filled with nothing, I'm nobody, with no friends and he has this great life filled with partying and friends. A month ago he said we couldn't be together because his friends would lose respect for him and he would lose respect from his self as well. But here we are I'm a crazy psycho bitch with no life, and he's having the time of his life. When we're together in person i feel so calm and happy and i just want to take care of him. I love him so much and he wouldn't even care if I died. I need to stop eating I can't do this, I need to stop existing, I need to be put in the ground.

[Tip] pro tip: get caffeine capsules, not tablets.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:51:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49eps8/pro_tip_get_caffeine_capsules_not_tablets/
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i got the walgreens brand caffeine tablets to complete my ec stack and they are cheap. dear god. they melt in your mouth the INSTANT you put it in there. i cant swallow it i have to cut it up into four pieces and even then it's god awful. the taste is DISGUSTING. and if it melts enough before you swallow it the taste gets stuck in the back of your throat and ugh. just, get the capsule ones that don't disintegrate in .3 seconds. you'll thank me later.

[Rant/Rave] The number one benefit of my EC stack is
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:46:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ep12/the_number_one_benefit_of_my_ec_stack_is/
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that I get to feel like I've temporarily broken free from my addiction to food.

I feel kind of weird to be positive about it and thereby promote an action that I see as potentially pretty damaging, but I needed to rave about it. I'm sitting here having eaten nothing all day with no desire to put food in my face hole. That's basically a nonexistent feeling for me. And it's so fucking freeing. Because without that nagging to eat something, or constant mental gymnastics of "if i eat _____ , it's only _____ calories, and I can fit that into my day", I can *do* stuff. I'm so productive and I can devote so much more mental space to things that I actually care about (let's not get me wrong, I care more than too much about food, but I don't want to)

[Discussion] Waist circumstance measure: To suck in or not to suck in?
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:42:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49eo8f/waist_circumstance_measure_to_suck_in_or_not_to/
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I require a precise measurement to track my waist circumstance as I no longer have access to a bathroom scale. My calculations and measurements and formulae must be precise. Must. Be. Exact.

**Question:** for those who track their waist measurement, I understand you must measure around the smallest part of the waist. Do you suck your stomach in first? Let it all out? I don't even know what the natural state of stomach should be? I've been sucking in my stomach since before I even knew why I was sucking in my stomach!

[Discussion] What other subreddits do you visit for support or to find tips or advice?
/u/BetterMeInside [5'6" |236.6 | 38.4 | -3.4 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:40:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49env1/what_other_subreddits_do_you_visit_for_support_or/
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I'm finding it really hard to get support. I'm 30 and a mother and don't really have many friends I can rely on for support with losing weight and no one understands me. I feel so alone doing everything. Every one here even seems so young! I'm trying to expand my support and community online. I even made a new account because my husband was giving me crap for subscribing here.

[Tip] Marshmallow peeps!
/u/she_thatchet [5'5" | CW: 110 | 18.5 |GW: 100 |]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:32:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49emel/marshmallow_peeps/
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Just a quick PSA for the upcoming Easter/chocolate/sweets season:

Peeps are 28 calories each, so the box of five weighs in at a mere 140 calories. It's not a fasting food, but its a great low cal treat! If relatives insist on giving you sugar these are a great, non-suspicious option!



Plus, peeps are delicious.

[Tip] Easy Low Cal snacks for UK based people?
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 115.8lbs | 17.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 13:23:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ekuh/easy_low_cal_snacks_for_uk_based_people/
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Hey,

I thought I'd share my small collection of low cal on-the-go snacks (I know, I know, vegetables are nature's low cal snacks but I'm lazy and cba to prep that shit)

Hartleys No Added Sugar Jelly: 5kcal (although my Tesco only stock the New Recipe 50kcal kind D:)

Co Op Chorizo rice cakes: 86kcal (I live directly above a tiny Co Op and wrote a letter to the manager for him to restock the rice cakes and am now the crazy rice cake girl)

Petits Filous pouches: 66kcal

Laughing Cow Mini Cravings cheese cubes: 14kcal per cube, the blue cheese and smoky cheese are fucking yum.

Yutaka Yellow Instant Miso soup: 26 kcal

Mugshot Cinese Noodle: 155kcal

Pret's Under 250kcal soups, the lowest one I've seen is 126 and I love being able to have something hot and filling.

Pret bags of Crisped Kale: 67kcal

Volvic No Added Sugar Strawberry water: 12kcal for 1.5l


I would **love love love** for people to share their go to foods, I've been trying to grow my shopping list.

[Discussion] Eating fast/slow
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 12:52:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49eety/eating_fastslow/
---
The ancient weightloss tip that I'm sure we all know of of taking tiny bites & chewing very slowly is commonly associated with EDs. Although I do this about half the time, the other half I'll shove food into my face at lightning speed, even if I know it's the only thing I'll have that day. I guess I feel so bad about the fact that I'm eating that I want to get it over with as soon as possible? Idk. I'm trying to stop that though, so I was wondering how many people here manage to eat slowly, and how many people tend to eat way too fast. (And how/why?)

[Discussion] Tea & Anti-Binge Help
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 12:20:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49e8zg/tea_antibinge_help/
---
[deleted]

[Help] What kind of goals you do like to go by?
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 12:16:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49e8d6/what_kind_of_goals_you_do_like_to_go_by/
---
I'm having some motivation problems. I'm at 162, and my goals are 155, 140, 135 for now. I know for a lot of you that is an unfathomable ton of weight, but everyone has a starting point, right? I want some little prizes for when I get to these GWs, but I'm not sure what yet. I have no interest in make-up/beauty stuff, I wear metal band Tshirts and skinny jeans, and since I just bought my condo I have a lot of stuff to repair/remodel that eats away lots of my disposable income. The only thing I can think of would be to get some larger aquariums, since I'm a tropical fish hobbyist. My goal is to have a 55 gal tank designed around my favorite fish's natural habitat, but if I gain the weight back it just seems kind of strange to have that. IDK. What do you lovely people do?



[Tip] Interesting low-sodium alternative to bouillon: Vegetable sipping broth / savory tea. Has anyone tried these?
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 11:25:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dz4o/interesting_lowsodium_alternative_to_bouillon/
---
http://www.milliessavoryteas.com/index.html

[Intro] Hi :)
/u/matchesinglitter [5'4 | 143 | 24.5 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 11:15:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dxd4/hi/
---
I don't know how to start an intro. Oops.

I've been lurking around quite a few subreddits, but I decided to make an account just for this one so I can pull my way out of a life of fat-assery, I guess.

I've been on a binge and restrict cycle for a while, but I'm back to just restricting, because frankly, I want to be skinny again. I also saw how supportive a lot of this community was so I'm excited that I can finally join it.

I'll post some stuff that helped me and I do look forward to seeing all of your tips :)

(Also, forgive me but this is my first reddit and I'm awful at formatting)



[Help] How much water weight can you gain in a day?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 11:14:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dx54/how_much_water_weight_can_you_gain_in_a_day/
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I went out for a date on Saturday night and had about 10-12 drinks (I know, I know). I woke up hungover as hell, but lighter than the day before. Then I binged and purged twice on Sunday like a fool. I worked out but I don't think my water intake was very high and I woke up this morning 1.6 pounds heavier. Is it possible that is all water weight or did I gain some from the binging? I doubt the total of the binges was over 3500cal but I'm paranoid that I've gained and I feel like I'm fatter.

I've worked out today and intent to again tonight, and I'm chugging water like it's no one's business, but I'm terrified to step on the scale tomorrow and see a higher number again.

[Discussion] Home for spring breakā€¦
/u/dissimuler [5'4| 114 |19.95| -14 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:57:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49du1g/home_for_spring_break/
---
Does anybody else find themselves eating really odd combinations of food in order to make it seem like you are eating a "normal" amount? My mom does all of the grocery shopping while I'm away so I always have to be a little creative when cooking myself dinner. For example, last night I made soup out of a vegetable boulion cube, a can of sweet peas, and some random spices from the cabinet. Not a bad meal for 250 calories, but definitely not my first choice under everyday circumstances.

[Discussion] This showed me an awesome place about ED discussions and met new experienced people.
/u/dikshants
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:51:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dt35/this_showed_me_an_awesome_place_about_ed/
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http://www.proanatipsandtricks.com/ana-buddy-chat.html/

I found My Ana Buddy from here, also had some pretty interesting conversations. DO CHECK!
/u/dikshants
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:22:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dnuk/i_found_my_ana_buddy_from_here_also_had_some/
---
http://www.proanatipsandtricks.com/ana-buddy-chat.html/

[Rant/Rave] Unintended hiatus and updates.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:13:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dm1b/unintended_hiatus_and_updates/
---
I have been without internet for 3 weeks and therefore unable to be here. But it's back and so am I. A few thoughts:

* I finally hit the 120s. I haven't been here in a long time and it's a great motivational push.

* It's fascinating how I know I look different and yet think I look the same as I did 40 pounds ago. I can see where I lost weight and then my brain says otherwise. I'd love a brain scan while I look in the mirror.

* I feel bigger than the last time I was in the 120s because I was so active back then and had much better muscle mass. I can't start lifting again yet, but I am working on muscle tone and improving my heart.

* While I was gone I had a real shift in my focus on food. Like many, I could eat whatever as long as it fit my caloric goal. Since then I've quit all added and artificial sugars and it's been a bitch. I'm eating so clean and feel so much better even though I'm still restricting.

Last point, which I find quite interesting. I'm thinking about the last time I was this weight. I was b/p-ing numerous times per day and then hitting the gym for a couple hours every night. I hated myself 110% and couldn't even fake being happy. But now I'm okay with myself. I don't feel this immense disgust at all hours anymore and it's odd for me. I realize there are plenty of things I'd like to change, but I know I'm working on them and they won't change overnight.

My next GW is 125, then 119, and then 115. I'll re-evaluate things from there, but it's comforting knowing I'm making progress and close ot my goals. Thank you for listening.

[Discussion] ed behaviours?
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 10:02:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dk2w/ed_behaviours/
---
So I saw in an earlier post that someone mentioned that touching your collarbone/hipbones is something a lot of people with ED do subconsciously and its something I keep noticing myself doing! Anyways, I was wondering what other kinds of little things we might do so I can try and stop doing them! Has anyone else noticed anything like this? (im on mobile so no flair, sorry)

[Discussion] Random Restriction fluctuation?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 09:37:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dflv/random_restriction_fluctuation/
---
So I increased my restriction to 1000 calories last week and it dropped me out of a plateau. Then today, I feel huge from eating so much, so I'm dropping my restriction back down to 700 for a few days.

Has anyone see success with this kind of fluctuation keeping you out of plateau-mode? The closer I get to goal the more I'm dying to reach it.

[Help] Need help reaching a goal!
/u/risingaurora [63in. | 138 lbs | 24.7 | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 09:21:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49dcs0/need_help_reaching_a_goal/
---
(TO MODS: Currently on mobile, will flair this later.)

I currently weigh 143 lbs and I want to drop 6 lbs in 10 days. My BMR is ~1700 and my TDEE is ~1400.



How much can I eat MAX a day to reach this goal (to go from 143 lbs to 137 lbs in 10 days) given that my days are normally fairly sedentary to lightly active?



Thank you so much for your help. You all are so lovely. šŸ’–

[Thinspo] A Mini Thinspo Album (I know, third post on my first day, I'm going all out XD)
/u/beautiful-bones [5'3 | 145 | 25.5 | -6 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 09:05:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49da68/a_mini_thinspo_album_i_know_third_post_on_my/
---
http://imgur.com/a/EVT8w

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 7 09:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49d9ib/daily_food_diary_march_07_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 07, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Old vs New Scale
/u/Rumplefatskin [5'6.5" | Corpulent | -20.4| F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 08:00:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49cyzh/old_vs_new_scale/
---
My app. 6-9 month old scale shows a 2.4 pound gain than than my brand new bought on Friday scale.
I should believe the new one right? Which means that I'm not as fat as I thought. šŸ¤“
Also, there's a new Once Upon a Time on Hulu! šŸ’•

[Tip] Something that helped me A LOT
/u/beautiful-bones [5'3 | 145 | 25.5 | -6 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 07:20:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49csya/something_that_helped_me_a_lot/
---
So I know I literally posted my first post fifteen minutes ago, but here's something I wanted to share with you all.

**TEA WITHOUT SUGAR.**

When I was in my bingeing days, I would dump so much sugar into my tea, it makes me throw up now. Now, I love all sorts of loose leaf green teas. So basically, you have these tea leaves, put them into an infuser, put that in hot water for a minute, and BOOM. You got yourself some good AF tea.

Here are the links to my all time faves - expensive, but totally worth it. I have 2-3 cups a day and enjoy the delicious benefits!

http://www.itoen.com/genmaicha#.Vt2NljY4nak

http://www.teavana.com/us/en/tea/green-tea/emperors-clouds-and-mist-green-tea-31396.html?navid=green-tea&start=6

Just a warning: once you have these, you won't want to drink tea from a crappy tea bag ever again XD.

Happy drinking!

Love,

beautiful-bones

**EDIT: FORMATTING XD**

[Intro] Lol Hi *Awkwardly Waves*
/u/beautiful-bones [5'3 | 145 | 25.5 | -6 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Mar 7 06:47:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49co4f/lol_hi_awkwardly_waves/
---
So I've lurked around this sub for a bit, and I decided to start being active today. So, basically, I'm an ex binge-eater, was on a binge and restrict cycle, and now I'm back to restricting. I'm eating ~ 1000 calories a day, and exercising ~ 700 off, putting my net at ~ 300. I'm using this Monday as a fresh start, and I look forward to seeing everyone's tips and tricks. I honestly love how supportive this sub is of each other!

Love always,

beautiful-bones

[Rant/Rave] Thanks my friend
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 7 06:23:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ckp4/thanks_my_friend/
---
"You don't have to look around your belly anymore now you've lost weight."


Thanks for triggering this binge

Reasons to lose weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Mar 7 05:56:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49chia/reasons_to_lose_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! March 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Mar 7 05:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49cbkh/weekly_stats_update_march_07_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for March 07, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] Let's share our goals and rewards!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Mar 7 04:59:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49cb7n/lets_share_our_goals_and_rewards/
---
So, we probably all have our goals set up already, but today I needed some motivation.

When I'm 55 kg/121lb and by all BMI standards underweight, I can buy a CHI straightner (I've been wanting that thing forever) instead of putting my money to my savings account.

Btw: 55 kg is a loss of 4 more kg :)

[Discussion] How do you decide when to eat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 21:27:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49axwz/how_do_you_decide_when_to_eat/
---
Some days I don't eat in case I feel much hungrier later on, but sometimes when I do this I end up eating more/having a small binge

[Intro] Must stop purging because of my dentist...
/u/treedaniel [5'7" | CW 187lb | BMI 29.3 | Male]
Created: Sun Mar 6 21:21:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ax34/must_stop_purging_because_of_my_dentist/
---
Lurker here. Finally broke down and got an account.

Dentist said my teeth and gums are terrible and look like a cancer patient's and if any more rot goes on he might recommend I get some pulled. I MUST stop purging. For my teeth.

I must convert my mind from binging and purging to just restricting. I binge and purge to keep my calorie range down but omg. My brain is spinning.

Any experience on converting your brain from binging and purging to just restricting? For context: I live on-campus at college and have a full meal plan (access to buffet style cafeteria for every meal).

[Discussion] If only safe foods didn't spoil...
/u/throwythrowabq
Created: Sun Mar 6 19:52:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49ak5g/if_only_safe_foods_didnt_spoil/
---
This would last me so long with my portion sizes -.-

http://imgur.com/fHovgeY

This is actually the first time I'm making my own jello and not relying on the little cups (so wasteful!) Hope wal mart brand sugar free is as good as jello brand.

Just posting for accountability
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 18:23:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49a7eb/just_posting_for_accountability/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Had a fight with my mom over food :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 18:14:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49a67p/had_a_fight_with_my_mom_over_food/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] To anyone craving sweets and worrying about binging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 17:39:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49a1bm/to_anyone_craving_sweets_and_worrying_about/
---
I just grabbed birthday cake flavored gourmet gum from Target, and holy shit is it good. Something that has 5 calories shouldn't be able to taste this buttery sweet. Cravings gone, now jealously hoarding gum. Today's calorie count is saved!

[Discussion] Do you restrict, purge, or both? Benefits to each method? Tips?
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Sun Mar 6 17:14:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499xu5/do_you_restrict_purge_or_both_benefits_to_each/
---
Hello, all! I'm just wondering which methods you all are using. I have always been one to restrict. Lately, however, I have been vomiting a lot from an illness and it's been making me want to start purging. Luckily, I can't binge, because my appetite just is not there (no complaints here!). However, it's gotten to the point to where I can make myself feel nauseous and vomit just from looking at the toilet! I've also become more efficient and regurgitating (i.e. no noise when vomiting--completely silent).

However, I do not think this is something I will continue, at least not consistently, although I'd like to (I'm worried about stomach acid and my teeth and have electrolyte imbalances already). Do you all have any ways to combat this? What about any tips regarding restricting?

Thanks!

[Rant/Rave] Monday
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 16:03:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499neq/monday/
---
Tomorrow is Monday. It marks the start for a new beginning for me. The next 3 months I get to restrict and exercise like I haven't done in weeks and I'm not forced to eat with anyone besides diner. I can finally lose the weight the way I want it again.

But I'm also worried. April has a two important events for me. First, RuPauls BOTS and second, The Elf Fantasy Fair. My mom is making me an awesome costume for that second one, it's almost finished. I'm worried it will be too big and she has to adjust it. She will notice much faster when I'm losing weight because she has to measure me and I have to try it on every now and then.

I'm so excited, but also really worried. I know I can make it to underweight before that, but do I want to? Sometimes this is too hard.

[Rant/Rave] [Rant on mobile] Why am I the only one trying?
/u/scribblescrabblerag3 [5'1| 102 lbs| 20.13 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 16:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499nb8/rant_on_mobile_why_am_i_the_only_one_trying/
---
Okay I just need to vent and I think you guys can relate:

I try hard to look good. It isn't above all the most important thing in my life but I make an effort to look decent. (ED things aside)

How do other people /not/ care? I work with the public and I can't wrap my head around how some of these people let themselves leave the house. Holy fuck they're crusty. Sorry but it's true.

How do people just shovel shit into their face with no regard to nutrition or calories at all?

I think the main reason I'm back into my ED so hard is because seeing someone I know gain and gain and gain and let themselves go really messes with my head.
That, and I work with the public. I see so many crusty middle aged/old people and obese people ride motorized scooters. Yuck.

Yeah I'm vain whatever. At least I'm taking care of me and demonstrating personal discipline. I don't need to binge until I hurt a few times a day, as much as I'd sometimes like to, unlike someone I know.

Basically: I'm frustrated that someone in my life doesn't keep up with themself when I try so hard.

Anyone ever feel like this? ._.
Help me I feel terrible about this.

And no this isn't something I can approach them about. Talking it out is not a conversation I want to have.

[Rant/Rave] Irony
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Sun Mar 6 15:58:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499mmg/irony/
---
Irony is that I had always loved myself. I was perfect in my mind. Superior. I was happy beyond what words could ever tell and I loved my life. And my eating disorder. I loved my life and myself.

But then, I got too skinny (read: too happy) and was forced into a hospital. One of the psychiatrists violated me the first night I was there. Stole my purity. My body was no longer safe. It was no longer mine. I would never get to feel perfect or happy again. I lost so much. I'll never be able to experience giving my purity away to a loving significant other. I'll never get to have that love for everyone and everything again. I'll never be able to love myself again. I don't fantasize about how I could help people anymore. I fantasize about chopping off my breasts to get the shame off of me.

I had never felt suicidal in my life. Why would I have? I was perfect. But then I wasn't. Ruined. Violated. *Filthy*.

I left the hospital suicidal and broken.

It was supposed to be a healing experience. It was supposed to make me feel better. Improve my life.

But it ruined it.

I will never be the innocent and happy, loving, sweet girl I was. Pain changes you. Now all I am is a hostile bitch who has nothing to look forward too in life.

So. That's irony, huh? They sent the happy girl to a place meant to heal her but broke her instead...turned her into a broken heep of pain and hate and sadness. She's dead now. Her body is still alive but something else lives in it. Her unclean body is now just a house to an angry spirit.

Her life is made of flashbacks and tears and hating herself. It's made of loneliness and sadness. It's ruined forever.

Just like her.

Just like the girl who used to be me.

[Rant/Rave] Pretty sure I've officially relapsed.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 14:52:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499com/pretty_sure_ive_officially_relapsed/
---
I've supposedly been "in recovery" for about 3 years. Been struggling a lot in the last few weeks, and this past week has been bonkers. I'm down 5 pounds from Sunday, and yesterday I tried to have a "normal" food day because I figured I needed it, and I ended up freaking out and purging. Purged once today too, and I'm about to head in again. Fuck me. I hate how comforting these behaviours are.

I'm still holding on to the hope that I will be able to stop when I reach a weight that I'm comfortable with that's still healthy. But I know that never happens. Oh well.

[Help] [Help] How to stop binging?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 13:48:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/499322/help_how_to_stop_binging/
---
I almost never eat breackfast or lunch (and when i do it junk food), and then after school i just bing on unhealthy things like chips, cookies, ect.

I just dont feel like eating real food like a full meal unless its fast food like Chick fil A or something.

And if i cant eat junk food/ snacks then i just dont eat.

How can I stop doing this because 1) its unhealthy and 2) Im wasting moey xD

[Rant/Rave] I Miss You All - Life Is Crazy.
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 122lbs *sobbing* | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 13:44:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4992ds/i_miss_you_all_life_is_crazy/
---
It's been approximately 21 days since I've checked the sub. I miss and love you all so I figured I'd write an update post since I'm going to try being more active here again.

I started my new job in the beginning of February and it's been amazing. It's so easy to fast there, and if I ever need anything there's free almonds and fruit in the kitchen to snack on, plus free unlimited coffee and almond milk. But I've been doing terribly with binging in the evenings, and I have been working really hard to try and stop that. Also every Friday I've been getting wasted off delicious, delicious craft beer. That probably hasn't helped me.

Me and my boyfriend of 2.5 years are currently on a "break." We've had really longstanding issues that put us in a cycle of happy-issue-sad for the entirety of our relationship, and I decided if we wanted any hope of being happy together, we first needed to sort our shit out separately and then maybe try again. This has been crazy hard, and I've cried at work like fifty times over the past month as this has all been happening, it's not great.

With my job and being constantly surrounded by people, trying to be more social and rekindle old friendships etc., I just haven't had any alone time to really just sit and check the sub. It's been really hard and I think the lack of group support is part of the reason I've been losing control and eating like crazy in the evenings. I've been doing a bit better for the past 2 days, so I'm really hoping I can keep it up. I weighed in the other day at 108lbs, but I'm not updating my flair until I'm sure it's something that has stuck.

Anyways. Just wanted to let you all know I miss and love you all and you're all beautiful and wonderful and I hope everyone had a really great February.

[Help] [Help] How can I loose weight?
/u/depression-or-pms [5'4 | 131lbs | 23.8| -25 lbs| F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 13:37:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4991cb/help_how_can_i_loose_weight/
---
[removed]

[Help] I've had a terrible week and I feel like I need to confess.
/u/goddamnroommate [5'6" | 141.1 | 22.77 | -50.9 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 13:13:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498xj5/ive_had_a_terrible_week_and_i_feel_like_i_need_to/
---
I'm deeply embarrassed of what I'm typing, but I need to share because I need someone to understand, I need to see if anyone is in a similar boat or has been.

Ok, so basically, my long distance SO (America-Germany, ~10months) visited from Feb 27th to today (March 6th). I restricted well and heavily for the week and a half leading up to it (for me, typical restriction is 600-1000 cals, but I pulled 200-400 pretty consistently with only a few binge days) and I got to 133, which is my lowest adult weight. I was so proud of it. I loved how I looked with each and every passing day.

But the reason I restricted so much was because my SO wanted the whole "American" food experience. I told myself I wouldn't count calories, but would rather try and eat like a normal person with normal portions and it would be a maintenance/minor gain week. But then I went into fucking insane binge mode. Holy fuck. I hid food consumption and upped it by like a crazy amount. I had a box of poptarts (not a fucking foil package, a box, with four x2 pastries, ~1600 calories) for fucking breakfast for like 3 days. And I was just so sneaky and a fucking mess. Then I got self conscious about my body after like the 3rd day when I was starting to notice the effects of the massive amounts of food. But he was so sweet and didnt care/notice. He still finds me hot (we started dating when i was 170ish), but I cared and it affected so much of the trip. It was so awful and I hid it as best as I could, but it was a binge *week*. The longest I'd ever binged was 2 days.

I gained 10lbs, and while Im sure a decent part of that is water weight/food somewhere in my digestive tract, I look and feel like it. Fuck. I'm going to start a fast right now, actually, and just see how that goes and for how long I can do it. My goal is 50 hrs because I like that number.

Goals for this post:

Has anyone had a week like that? Have you recovered mentally/physically from it?

Random tips for fasting?

thanks for hearing me out :) I'll update my flair when i know im on an empty stomach (tomorrow morning)

[Discussion] I ate a little under my BMR yesterday and MFP said I will gain weight
/u/In_a_fatsuit [64"| 137#| 24.x BMI | -86# | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 12:33:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498rdg/i_ate_a_little_under_my_bmr_yesterday_and_mfp/
---
This can't be right. Like, even remotely. My BMR is about 1,470. I had a lot of vodka, and my intake for the day was 1,400. I actually had enough calories for the app to not scold me for eating too few calories and it gave me a two week projection *that was three more pounds than I weigh now*. I can understand if my TDEE was 1470, but this is my BMR.... (Harris-Benedict equation)

Does anyone have insight into how the hell MFP calculates the projection? I'm dying to know how they think eating under your BMR makes you gain weight. It's so unfathomably stupid that it's comical.

Edit: Even if they're using a different version of the BMR equation, my TDEE would still be more than whatever their BMR equation says.

[Goal] Hit a Goal (Finally!)
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 113.3 | 21(Fitbit) |-21.5 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 12:31:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498r4j/hit_a_goal_finally/
---
Just did a happy dance this morning. Finally below 120 for the first time since college. I've been plateaued at 121 for what feels like forever, but I woke up today with sore arms from push ups yesterday and was treated with a new number for my flair. I celebrated with two scrambled eggs and tea to last until dinner.

[Rant/Rave] Really annoyed...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 11:57:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498lu3/really_annoyed/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Pure restriction, or deficit tracking? Plus an introduction.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 11:28:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498hnk/pure_restriction_or_deficit_tracking_plus_an/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Help! Weight gain?
/u/justwanttolikemyself [5'1" | 101 | -43lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 11:27:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498hjy/help_weight_gain/
---
Okay so for the past week i've been eating around 300 calories a day, but these last 3 days i've messed up eaten around 1500 friday, 1500 saturday and 900 today. Will I have gained fat from this? How much?? I know this isn't a massive binge but i'm still really concerned i've messed everything up.

[Intro] Hi. I've been lurking for a while, so here's my intro.
/u/FakingReallyWell [5'5.5" | 142 lbs | 23.5 | -14 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 10:44:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/498ap3/hi_ive_been_lurking_for_a_while_so_heres_my_intro/
---
I have spent the last couple of years struggling with bulimia and binge eating. Over the past few months I've tried to stop binging/purging, but stopping the binges is the most difficult part.

Some days I barely eat, and other days I eat >3000 kcal. I have no idea how to eat properly, and am always at one extreme or the other. I love this sub, and it makes me feel less isolated to know there are others who struggle with the same things as me.

I created an instagram account to distract me and help motivate me to stop binging. You can follow me (@wishtodisappear) if you like motivational/inspirational quotes.

[Thinspo] Male Thinspo: Saint Laurent Paris
/u/PrismicHelix
Created: Sun Mar 6 10:08:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4984z3/male_thinspo_saint_laurent_paris/
---
http://imgur.com/a/9AXhJ

[Rant/Rave] I just want to be okay
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 09:15:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/497x67/i_just_want_to_be_okay/
---
I don't know guys. I love restricting and I love actually turning into something that I can look at in the mirror and not hate with a burning passion, but I keep getting stuck in this binge/restrict cycle every time I get triggered (I've been sexually assaulted and raped a few times so every time I see them I just kind of shut down) and manage to lose 10-15 pounds. Then when I start feeling better or I try to be as normal as possible I can't stop bingeing which makes me upset which makes me depressed and I don't leave my bed for several days which makes me think about a lot of bad things which sends me back into restricting.

I just want to be okay enough to be able to lose weight ( I don't even care if its a fast pace, like 2 pounds a week is okay) enough without it being too tied to my emotions.

I have a hard time feeling things but everything I do feel is just terrible and I'm on Prozac and Wellbutrin to try and help with my anxiety and depression but sometimes it's not enough and the weird high that bingeing gives me is the only thing that can make me feel a little better but also terribly terribly guilty and self-loathing.

Why can't I just eat a burrito and then restrict the rest of the day like an actual normal person? Why can't I restrict to 800-1000 calories and be okay instead of restricting to 200 for a month and then just fucking myself over by eating 3000+ calories everyday for a week?

All of my friends are worried about me and it's not even because of the eating thing (they're supporting me in my journey to lose weight because I'm actually not even that thin anyway) but its because of how fucked up I am in the head and emotionally and everything else. People text me and ask me "are you okay? I just want you to be okay" and I want to be okay too but I just dont know how.

Please, God, make me a stone.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Mar 6 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/497vcw/daily_food_diary_march_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] under 150!
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 08:43:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/497sm6/under_150/
---
i'm 149.6 as of this morning! this is probably a super high weight for most of you but this is my first time under 150 since a month ago (which is when i started binging like crazy) and it feels so good! i'm so excited and motivated now aHHhhhh!!!

[Rant/Rave] My grandpa is in town...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Mar 6 07:54:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/497lzd/my_grandpa_is_in_town/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] Hello!
/u/llwy-de [5' 4"/165cm | 138.8lbs/63kg | 23.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 04:55:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4971z4/hello/
---
I've been enjoying reading this sub for a little while, and beginning to get involved so I thought I would introduce myself to you all!

I'm not sure how anybody might read my username to themselves because it's actually in another language that can be difficult to pronounce (it means 'teaspoon' lol) but you can call me whatever. :-)
I'm a 23yo art student.
H: ~5'4", HW: 154, LW: 108, CW: Idk because there are no scales in this house..!! Also makes it strange to decide on a GW. How low can I go, basically!

I am horrified by how much I allowed my weight to creep up on me. I began eating more 'normally' and gaining, but things and stuff happened and I guess it got out of hand.
I've had issues with anxiety since school and depression for at least 8 years, hard to remember because it's quite consuming and you 'get used to it'. I've gone through binge phases, rarely purging, but after not having done it for a while I realise how bad it makes me feel all over. I've begun to lose weight and restrict again recently though and am loving becoming reacquainted with it, it feels so good!

I think this time has been triggered by a few different things. I know many overweight people who seem to 'enjoy' eating and drinking too much, which can make it difficult to be around (*so* anxious about going to visit my family over Easter! Control freaks all going head to head..), but also they try and counteract with diets they can't stick to. I've always been told I have a very strong mind and willpower, on the other hand, especially in terms of being veggie/vegan (for 7 & 2yrs)

I came back from visiting them and decided to do the 5:2 diet that my sister and stepmother are doing. I know it's not difficult and am competitive so I thought why not, even though they wouldn't know I was doing it lol.
That went well for me for a few weeks, then one of my housemates I don't see much mentioned how I'd lost a 'considerable' amount of weight and spurred me on further.

My depression/anxiety has been really bad. I was so desperate I went to the doctor and got put on antidepressants. I started the meds and had a delightful surprise - they absolutely kill my appetite!! I was amazed. So for the past couple of weeks I've been on 5-600cals a day (except once when I slipped and ate a little sweets.. Going back to vegan now though, and no alcohol cause meds so won't be a problem any more!)

Rambling on a little, but I'm so glad to have found this place and I'm very excited to be a part of the community, if I may.
Looking forward to getting to know you all! <3

[Discussion] The silliest thing you've done in the name of your disorder?
/u/teasnob22 [5'3" | 95.7 | 17.43 | -22 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 03:31:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/496uk4/the_silliest_thing_youve_done_in_the_name_of_your/
---
I was having a weird sort of giggle about the time I did a headstand in my aunty and uncle's bathroom, on christmas, in an attempt to churn up the contents of my stomach, because the food I had eaten wasn't coming up. (it didn't work very well btw.) But it got me wondering about the absolutely fucking ridiculous situations that other people had gotten themselves into, so here I am!!

[Help] So angry at myself...need your support guys and gals :(
/u/bellatrixcat
Created: Sun Mar 6 01:05:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/496hzz/so_angry_at_myselfneed_your_support_guys_and_gals/
---
I've come to the realization small, powdered doughnuts are my worst enemy. They were just sitting out, 90% stale, and I ate 6. For a total of 610 calories on top of my 600 today. I've been so good with restricting and exercising and I just blew it. I am feeling enormous and defeated. :( what to do other than water binge ?

[Rant/Rave] starting a fast!
/u/frickinskinny [5'8.5" | 142.4lb | 21.03 | -11.1 | F]
Created: Sun Mar 6 00:20:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/496dub/starting_a_fast/
---
i ate so much and my last meal ended at 8pm. i'm doing a 24 hour fast and i'll probably break it tomorrow night with something light like soup before i go to sleep. this is my first fast in a long time so wish me luck!

*edit: probably going to push it to 48 hours or as long as i can, i really need to start losing soon

[Intro] Hi, My first post!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 22:07:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/495zjx/hi_my_first_post/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I binged for the first time in months
/u/thindreaming [5'8 | 159.6 | 24.3 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 20:34:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/495o38/i_binged_for_the_first_time_in_months/
---
I'm freaking out. I've been so good at staying on track with willpower and my recent discovery of EC stacks. And today I don't know what happened but I just ate ~1430 cals in one sitting after being good all day. I'm at like 1800 for the day which isn't bad in comparison to my past binges but I'm still really upset about it and I don't know where to go from here

Usually I purge after times like this which I'm debating but its honestly so exhausting and I don't want to start this whole b/p cycle again

[Rant/Rave] A Clean Slate (Upcoming Goals)
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 19:45:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/495i4t/a_clean_slate_upcoming_goals/
---
The past week has been one of the worst weeks I've had. The two weeks before that were wonderful; I didn't binge or purge once and I lost a total of 11 lbs.

Then this week started and it was b&p'ng *every* *day.* I did manage to go down 2lbs but my throat is killing me and I spent the whole week bloated and with the worst food cravings. My weight has been the same for the past 3 days.

So I just wanted to write this down here so I can have it solidified that starting tomorrow I'm going to try all that I can to not b&p until I become underweight (~~not saying that after that I'll b&p, hopefully I never do it again but no promises~~).

My plan is to lose *at least* 4 lbs per week. Tomorrow is a fast day, every Sunday will be since Saturdays are the days I cannot control my food intake because of my surroundings. Like today I had to go to a family lunch, then a baby shower...

This is it, I cannot keep losing control it makes me feel horrible. I noticed that those two weeks I did great were because I had a deadline. Last Saturday was an important day and I *needed* to look better so binging wasn't an option. After that day passed, things went downhill because I no longer had a goal for a certain date. I need to find something to motivate me like that again.

By the calculations I did I can reach 97.6lbs by the end of the month, only two away from my UGW (which I'm thinking of lowering to 90lbs because I'm starting to believe I'm shorter than 5'4''. I really which I could measure my height...

So yeah this is it. No more of last week, I really wish I don't go through that again, it reminds me of the old days in high school when my life was a mess (more than it is now) and things never changed. I hate how it was back then and I don't want to go back to it. Just thinking about those days makes me just want to stick to this new goal for myself, maybe that will be my motivation.

I also wanna thank this sub and everyone in it you are all so helpful and amazing. I'm thankful to have a place to let all of this out, something I didn't have back then (which is why it was worse). Thank you for this safe space.

[Help] Resisting the urge to purge
/u/anordinarypenguin [5'2''|111.8|20.45|-24|F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 18:31:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4958o0/resisting_the_urge_to_purge/
---
Every time I eat something, I can't help but think about when I'll get the opportunity to purge. I can restrict, but once I get upwards 600 calories, I can't help but feel suuuper guilty. Sometimes this guilt turns into the want to eat, only because I know I'll be able to purge it all when I go for a shower. I haven't been to the dentist in years and I know I need to go. I'm scared that I'm going to fuck up my teeth like my mom did when she was bulimic. It's scary. I don't want to have a partial denture in my mouth.

Does anyone have any advice to stop oneself from purging?

[Help] I hate feeling full but not enough to avoid overeating.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110.2 | 19.3 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 16:53:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/494vc3/i_hate_feeling_full_but_not_enough_to_avoid/
---
Hi everyone. So the SAT was today, which went pretty well. My mom decided we should go to Olive Garden afterwards to celebrate, which was fine by me, since Olive Garden is among the only restaurants I will splurge on. Damn I love their house salad. Plus we got there at around 2:30, meaning I could count on skipping dinner without too much backlash from family.

I ate a *lot* of salad, two bites of my entree, and called that good. While I feel slightly better knowing my stomach expansion is 90% due to too much salad, maybe 800 calories max, I still feel gross. Any advice on restaurant will-power for the future?

[Discussion] ISO more hot drink/drinkable soup ideas!
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 16:51:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/494v36/iso_more_hot_drinkdrinkable_soup_ideas/
---
I've been loving all the food/drink posts lately! I do so much better when I have some go-to ideas for low-calorie foods rather than just giving into the craving...I think I'm going to start keeping safe food lists again to help cut binges off.

I would love to know if anyone has more ideas for hot drinks, especially savory ones! I find that something warm really helps me curb hunger, and liquids don't seem to trigger me to eat all the things the way solid food does. Of course I drink coffee and tea like it's my job, and I drink a lot of broth with different spices and stuff, but do you have any other ideas for me? Lately I've been doing a teaspoon of miso dissolved in hot water, sometimes with sriracha...or tom kha broth with a tiny bit of coconut milk, chicken broth, and lemongrass/ginger/garlic...and occasionally half/half tomato juice and water that I drink like tomato soup.

[Rant/Rave] Venting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 15:30:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/494jhq/venting/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] DAE have "normal" days?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 14:53:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/494e09/dae_have_normal_days/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] DAE watch videos about food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 12:54:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/493wec/dae_watch_videos_about_food/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I broke my fast early..
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 12:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/493qoy/i_broke_my_fast_early/
---
I'm eating miso soup right now on what would have been day 14 of my fast. Weighing in at 153.9, I've dropped 22 lbs, which is nothing to sneeze at, but I still can't help but feel guilty and like a failure. Like I could have and should have gone farther. I should have waited at least another week.

There's a method to my madness, in that there's a 12k run coming up in May that I want to start training for and I can't do that if I'm breathless. Starting today, I'm doing squats and lunges and I'm gonna try and ramp it up every day for the rest of the month till I can start running again after I've completed the refeeding process.

Still...I'm not feeling great about this, and I'm gonna need as much support and inspiration as possible to get to my goal weight 'cause 153 is unacceptable....and I'm still craving shitty food and I need to resist. Ughh I just feel so bad about this god and it's so dumb, like if anyone else fasted for 13 days I'd be like "woah way to go!" but for me it's like "woah fuck you you fucking failure".

Blah blah blah, at least miso soup is only 38 calories.

[Discussion] Suggestion: we should make a private sub for self-pictures!
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 11:45:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/493lnv/suggestion_we_should_make_a_private_sub_for/
---
I want to share pics to track my progress and keep myself accountable, but I'm not exactly comfortable sharing them on the stickied weekly threads. I've done it a few times, but I've always gotten self-conscious and deleted them a day later, and it seems like a lot of other people have that problem too. I also know that a lot of people (including me) have gotten creepy PMs after posting, and after I shared pictures of myself, the viewcount on imgur was over 1000 (I hadn't posted the pics publicly to imgur, only here) despite the fact that they'd only been up for like a day and there were barely any people commenting/voting in the thread. The current system just feels way too public (though I'm not suggesting abolishing the weekly thread, just making a sub in addition).

Of course, obviously there's no way to ever keep selfies completely private when you're sharing them on the internet, but I know that I personally would share more often if I knew that everyone viewing it was a regular, verified member of the community. We could have people verify themselves by taking a picture of themselves holding up a piece of paper that says their username (which seems only fair to me; you should have to be willing to share a picture of yourself in order to see other people's), and we could make it a requirement that you have to be an active poster on this sub for at least a month in order to get verified. It wouldn't be a perfect system, but it would weed out a lot of bad apples. And if this sub were to ever get deleted, we could use the private sub as a backup. Thoughts?

[Discussion] Superlow kcal dinners
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Mar 5 10:40:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/493btw/superlow_kcal_dinners/
---
So, most of us live with people and have dinner with them too. What are some superlow cal dinner recipes where you eat a LOT but actually you know, don't.

I love making mushrooms, union and noodles for my family, but plate them in a way that I barely have noodles and a lot of veggies. Do you have any recipes? :)

[Goal] Halfway there
/u/elliebearrrr
Created: Sat Mar 5 09:25:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4930nr/halfway_there/
---
After my disgusting binge yesterday I've made it to 4:30pm today completely fasting! I won't have access to food until around 5:30 when I get home, so I'm planning to have some soup if I get really hungry later on. This feels amazing!

Edit: can't add flair, on mobile :(

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Mar 5 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/492xf2/daily_food_diary_march_05_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Intro] Intro!
/u/Rumplefatskin [5'6.5" | Corpulent | -20.4| F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 08:53:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/492w4p/intro/
---
I'm having to make a new profile because my boyfriend knows my other account & I don't want him to see this. :)

So a little about me!
You can call me Rumple. I'm 22. I live with my boyfriend, my dog, & my cats!

I just wanted to say hi because well I like to lurk and just wanted to be known, I guess.

[Rant/Rave] Just some rambles, move along
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Mar 5 07:42:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/492my3/just_some_rambles_move_along/
---
I don't know how I managed it, but I had a cider, a ginger beer, a beer, and 5 gin and tonics yesterday and still managed to lose this morning. Probably because we danced for 4 hours straight... oops. But today the hangover is LEGIT and my body hurts. I haven't had food since about 5pm yesterday, and it's 11am right now, and I think maybe eating will help with this gut rot feeling but also maybe if I let myself suffer I won't drink this much again any time soon. I just want to step on the scale tomorrow and see a smaller number. Everything else is just fluff.

[Rant/Rave] I just binged
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 06:03:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/492bw8/i_just_binged/
---
On a 2 overfilled bowls of honey smacks. It's only 8 am. But the kid is already being a butt and honey smacks are delicious so I guess this is my meal for the day. Hopefully.

[Discussion] Tea?
/u/vigil_morgenstein [5'4" | CW 122lbs | UGW 96lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 05:00:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/49266t/tea/
---
In mobile so no flair I'm afraid (ļ½”-_-ļ½”)


Just wondering what everyone's favourite teas are - I'm obsessed with herbal tea and always looking for new recommendations. It's good for my skin and keeps me from snacking, so if anyone's got any they recommend I'll give it a try!

My personal favourites:

Yogi Tea - Lime & Mint is amazing.

Pukka tea - Chamomile, Vanilla & Honey or their Peppermint and Liquorice are both delicious. The liquorice is so sweet it keeps me with sugar cravings.

Oolong and Mint tea - I get this from the Asian supermarket in town and it's great. Oolong is linked to suppressing appetite too (it's the stuff in the daytime teas for most tea-tox brands)


Figured I'd share mine and hopefully get some new tea inspo - mixing it up keeps me from getting bored with what I have and straying on to snacking instead!



[Rant/Rave] It seems to be getting easier... but its still not enough (rant)
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sat Mar 5 00:00:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/491hka/it_seems_to_be_getting_easier_but_its_still_not/
---
Mobile.. sorry no flare

Ive been actively avoiding real binges, and slowly decreasing my overall caloric intake. According to MFP im averaging around 1300 a day. I forgot to take my adderall and was so hungry... i had 1400 today and it felt like a massive amount of food... and ive been doing this quasi restriction to stop purging again. Well its getting easier to restrict to a "normal" ish food intake. only now i feel like purging when i eat 1300... i dont know how to reset that trigger. Its almost like im hyper sensitive to the feeling of having anything in my stomach, yet i lack the will power to actually restrict my eating habits. My body is almost refusing to switch EDs. :/ not that having either is great, but id rather not be bulimic. I like my teeth... i don't want a swollen face.

[Help] Where do I start? I'm a fatass who want to lose 90 pounds.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 4 23:15:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/491daz/where_do_i_start_im_a_fatass_who_want_to_lose_90/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Fuck recovery, I have proof that I look like I weigh more than I do
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |95|16.5|-22 since 8/2015]
Created: Fri Mar 4 20:29:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/490ukw/fuck_recovery_i_have_proof_that_i_look_like_i/
---
I have been trying to spend less time on this subreddit in the past week or so, thinking that maybe I should focus on recovery. But I just finished an intake and was diagnosed with bulimia. They got my weight, height and I filled out all the assessment forms. At the end session, she said, "From what I see, I would diagnosis you with bulimia. Does that sound right?" I nodded but on the inside, my brain was on fire.



I know it doesn't matter because an ED is an ED...but I have a BMI under 17 right now. I guess part of me wanted someone to tell me that I'm underweight objectively. They got my height and weight there too, with clothes so it's not like my scale at home is very off. I was wearing my bra, underwear, tank top, long sleeve shirt and puffer vest, jeans and socks, and had coffee in me, and weighed in at 99 lbs even. They got my height at a touch under 5'4.5". My morning weight on my own scale without clothes and drinking coffee was 97.4. But she gave me a bulimia nervosa diagnosis.



Now I'm convinced that I must look fatter than I thought because I wasnt diagnosed as Anorexia Nervosa, b/p subtype. I feel like my weight could be so so much lower because obviously it is not considered low. I always thought I found comfort in objective numbers. But an intake professional doesn't think I'm underweight. I was so happy when I got under 102, thinking I was approaching "underweight". I have reverse body dysmorphia. I should add 15 lbs to what I " think " I look like because I'm obviously skinny fat.



At my core, I am pretty dysfunctional with b/p but I also restrict. I just want to lose so much weight right now. The intake just made me realize that I am too attached to this to truly want recovery. Just look at how much this bothers me. It will just be a waste. I am just going to have to do this shit until I die or commit suicide.


I don't have anything exciting going on in life anyway. And it's not like I can fork over the money right now. I'm not worth it anyway. I filled out a scholarship for treatment assistance. I made it to the second round. I moved it to junk mail because let's me honest, other people deserve it more. Other people have a stronger will to live, kids, a partner, are smart, are passionate about their jobs, etc. I cant live knowing I might take away someone's hope. Me? I'm an canvas, and I have no colors to paint with.

[Help] I can only purge when I'm drunk
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 20:27:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/490ue2/i_can_only_purge_when_im_drunk/
---
I'm sure being nauseous from drinking plays a role, but tonight I ate probably 1000 cals of just chips at dinner and was able to purge with my friends knowing by claiming I was too drunk and would feel better if I booted and rallied. It was so hard to actually purge though, does it get easier? Or should I just have more fucking self control??

[Rant/Rave] First REALLY good day in a long time (warning: super long post)
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 146.2 | 26.61 | -49.8 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 20:01:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/490r8j/first_really_good_day_in_a_long_time_warning/
---
Today has been a really good day for me. This last weekend was really rough. It was my husband's birthday so we went out to eat each day and I had some awful binges. I didn't make my February goal. (I was 2lbs over, so close.) And I've just been all around grumpy.

That all started to change yesterday. I was trying to stick with liquids only. Normally, I drink water but it's hard for me to drink the recommended amount. I actually drank 60oz yesterday, along with 20oz of powerade zero. My calories for the day was 0 and it was amazing. I had to do laundry at my father in law's house, and while I was there I spent an hour cleaning because I had the excess energy. When I came back home, I spent another hour deep cleaning my house. It felt awesome.

Today was even better. I did start the day with some soup (180). I decided that since the weather was nice, I should go and try to walk some. I went to a hiking trail near a waterfall and actually did a 3 mile hike. I'm so proud of myself. I know it's not much, but for me it's a big thing. I have asthma and I'm honestly really lazy. On top of the hike, I've consumed 67.6 oz of water already. (Another big step in the right direction.)

As a reward for all this progress, I decided to buy myself a shirt. (I very rarely buy myself clothes unless I absolutely need them.) It's a cute little hippy looking shirt I got at Wallgreen's while buying more primatene. It's a s/m which I usually don't buy because I'm a little too big for those, but shockingly, it fit!

I'm just all kinds of excited so I wanted to share. Sorry for the super long post, I'm still a bit hyped up on caffeine.

[Discussion] Counting calories burned
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Fri Mar 4 16:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ztt5/counting_calories_burned/
---
Quick question. I read somewhere that exercise machines and things like MFP wildly overestimate calories burned, which I can see just by looking at the numbers it gives me. I don't worry about it too much because I don't eat back my calories but it makes me feel better to think that I burned some of the calories I ate.

Anyway, I used my stationary bike for an hour (speed was about 10-12) and it said I burned 300 calories. would it be close if I cut the number in half? Or is 150 still way too high? I barely felt tired..I'm starting to think I didn't burn anything at all.

[Discussion] ED with friends? Does it make it easier or harder for you?
/u/ginpanda [5'6" | 268 | -5 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 15:36:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48zpnt/ed_with_friends_does_it_make_it_easier_or_harder/
---
Recently my friend and I were talking about our pasts with eating disorders and decided to work together to support each other. We both set a restriction goal and update each other a lot.

Have any of you had something and did it help you or hurt you? It's been really great so far, but I worry it'll make us really competitive and like, I'll feel way worse about my weight.

[Tip] Water weight (extreme dorkiness edition)
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 99.7 | 18.15 | -15.3 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 15:34:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48zpbs/water_weight_extreme_dorkiness_edition/
---
I stupidly did a saltwater flush yesterday and I'm four pounds up from water retention even after going till I felt like I was going to turn inside out. This is the reason I swore off them, argh! But anyway, it got me curious and I started looking stuff up, because of course I feel disgusting and huge with 4 lbs of water, but nearly not as disgusting and huge as I did 4 lbs of real weight (i.e., body fat) ago. It turns out that for the same volume (1 liter)

- water = 1000g

- body fat = 900g

Imperial - for the same volume (1 quart)

- water = 2.3lbs

- body fat = 1.6lbs

So, you can calculate that my 4 lbs of water weight is about 1.75 quarts of volume. The same weight of body fat was 2.5 quarts!

Point is, water weight sucks and makes you feel gross, but at least it's denser than real weightā€”so a pound of water retention doesn't affect the way you look nearly as much as a pound of actual weight gain. In fact, a pound of water is approximately 1 pint, or just 2 cupsā€”that's tiny!

Hopefully something that can help keep you from panicking if you see the scale up for a day or two after a carb or salt binge. It'll go away soonā€”but even while it's there it's not even like you *look* like you gained that amount. Knowledge is power!

[Discussion] Do You Have a Type A or a Type B Personality?
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 13:56:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48z9mu/do_you_have_a_type_a_or_a_type_b_personality/
---
If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll let Wikipedia explain: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory#The_types

I was thinking about this earlier today. I know stereotypes usually dictate that there's a link between being having an eating disorder and being a Type A (being a perfectionist, being very organized, being tense). However, I'm pretty sure that I fall into the Type B model. I'm not competitive, I don't get stressed out very often, and the only things that I get very anxious about are my physical appearance and my professional/academic success or shortcomings. When it comes to everything else, I'm extremely laid back.

I guess what I'm wondering is if anyone else on the sub identifies as a Type B, and if you think that it affects your eating disorder? For example, I don't count calories every single day (although on the basis of estimation, I still under-eat by at least a few hundred), I'm usually pretty rational when it comes to small weight fluctuations, and don't freak out over small slip-ups, so long as they're not too terrible. Does anyone else have any similar experiences? Sometimes I feel like such a failure for not being more rigid with myself, but it's just not who I am haha.

Anyways, which personality types do you guys have? I'd love to hear all of your thoughts on this, and I'd love to hear from Type A's too, of course!

[Tip] best fitbit type device to tell you how many cals you have burned?
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Fri Mar 4 13:45:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48z7sf/best_fitbit_type_device_to_tell_you_how_many_cals/
---
what do you recommend? what is the most accurate?


[Tip] If You're Feeling Discouraged...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 4 13:41:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48z71s/if_youre_feeling_discouraged/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] It's literally just for the weight loss
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Fri Mar 4 13:29:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48z54h/its_literally_just_for_the_weight_loss/
---
I can't stand it when people *insist* that EDs are about control for *everyone* or that they're always caused by low self-esteem or whatever. For me, it is *literally just that I want to lose weight and am too lazy to do it in a healthy way*. Thats. it.

It is not because I have crushing self image issues (I don't. I have the most over-inflated ego. I am ridiculously prideful and I love myself). It's not because I need to feel in control of my life or body (I really don't *want* to be in control of my life. I want care and guidance from an over-bearing significant other). It's not a cry for help.

I enjoy it and it makes me happy and I like the way it makes me look. I chose to be this way. I love being this way. It's just a way to maintain my body. That's literally it.

So, fuck you, pretentious psychiatrists and ignorant random person who took a two week psychology course: because I have an ED because I chose to and because I want to be able to eat all I want and still lose weight. That's it. It is not a coping mechanism. It's just a hobby with aesthetic benefits.

That's what it is for me. I can't stand it when people think they know what I'm feeling better than I do.

[Discussion] Is anyone else here in therapy? Do you talk to your therapist about ED stuff?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:43:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yxga/is_anyone_else_here_in_therapy_do_you_talk_to/
---
I've been seeing the same therapist for a year now. We meet twice a week. There are a lot of things I like about her, but lately I've been feeling frustrated.

My fixation on my weight has only resurged over the course of the past few months or so. It wasn't really a problem when I started seeing her. I want to talk about what I'm feeling and experiencing, but I don't feel like I can because every time I bring it up she gets really judgmental and pushy.

I mean, I know my habits aren't technically the healthiest and I'm not happy with how I feel about my body (which is why I'm here), but I also don't think that I'm currently experiencing some sort of Eating Disorder Crisis. I only restrict to 700-900 (my TDEE is 1400), all the food I eat is very healthy and I get all of the nutrients I need, and while I am underweight technically, I'm pretty far from meeting the physical requirements for anorexia. I know that if I feed my obsession too much it could get worse, but it's not like she could say anything to change that, and if she could I wouldn't want to hear it.

I just want to be able to talk to her the way that I can talk here. I want to be able to tell her about how bloated I feel, how frustrated I am because I've been plateau'd for two weeks, how I wish my thighs were thinner, how exercise makes me feel gross, how proud I am of myself for being so disciplined, how much I miss certain foods, how scared I am that if I let this go I'll gain the weight back. If I could talk about those things, maybe I could sort out some of those feelings, or at least get them off my chest. But I can't just talk and have her listen. If I talk to her, she feels the need to weigh in with her own opinions or to try to change the way that I'm thinking. If I tell her how ugly I feel, she tells me I'm beautiful, which honestly makes me extremely uncomfortable and frustrated and VERY ANGRY and I'm not quite sure why. If I start talking about dieting, she sighs deeply as if she simply MUST show her disapproval. And on and on. So I end up lying, or concealing information, and spending all of my time in therapy talking about everything except the one thing that is actually on my mind, that I can't stop thinking about.

I'm not exactly a passive therapy patient. I'm very comfortable telling her "please don't lecture me, that makes me uncomfortable, I wish I could just talk about it and have you listen." And usually she's very welcoming to that kind of feedback, but on this particular issue it's like she absolutely cannot retrain herself. Whenever I even mention being on a diet, she starts throwing around the word "anorexia" and looking at me like I'm a dying puppy. Yesterday I just couldn't take it anymore, I snapped at her and told her that I needed to be able to talk about this and she wasn't going to change my behavior or thoughts or feelings so she needed to stop trying and just listen, but she got really defensive. I don't know how to communicate the message to her and get it across. Are my expectations just too high? Has anyone ever had a really good therapist who they felt like they could talk about this stuff with?


[Help] I've been doing so well, but I know that I'm going to binge soon...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:32:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yvmp/ive_been_doing_so_well_but_i_know_that_im_going/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I just wanted to say that either my scale is nuts
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:30:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yv8a/i_just_wanted_to_say_that_either_my_scale_is_nuts/
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Or my Uggs weigh 2 lbs. I have a massive sweater and Uggs on, the scale said 112 (WTF I was 108.8 this morning). So I took off my shoes and it said 110.4. I wonder what happens without the sweater? Either way. Fat.

[Tip] La Croix sparkling water
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:26:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yui2/la_croix_sparkling_water/
---
Y'all, for real go to your nearest grocery store and get some [La Croix](http://www.lacroixwater.com/flavors/) (it looks like shitty store brand soda but trust me on this one). Let me tell you why:

* It destroys soda/sugar cravings
* It has no salt (so if you hate the saltiness of sparkling water, that's a perk. Plus you won't bloat/retain water)
* It has no sweeteners of any sort, so no hidden calories/chemicals there. In fact, there's nothing artificial in La Croix at all.
* It comes in loads of flavors, and while I've only tried the passionfruit, it tastes amazing.
* And of course, the best part is it's 0 calories.

If you can't find it at the store (or you don't live in the states) try [amazon](http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=la+croix).

This makes me sound like a corporate shill holy shit...sorry, I'm not, I promise. I'm just really excited because (and this is gonna sound really cliche) it tastes so good I feel kinda like I'm cheating...like I'm drinking fizzy juice or something, and I really wanted to share.

[Thinspo] Binge. Purge. Repeat?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 12:18:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yt4k/binge_purge_repeat/
---
http://shangen010.tumblr.com/post/140458854184/i-struggle-with-binge-eating-and-its-just-a

[Discussion] How many Vegans/Vegetarians are here? How does it relate to your ED?
/u/alonelyturd [5'0 | 97.6 lbs | 20.07 | f]
Created: Fri Mar 4 11:19:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yjai/how_many_vegansvegetarians_are_here_how_does_it/
---
Posts where people mention not eating meat really stand out to me, so I've been thinking about starting this discussion for a while.

I've been vegetarian since I was twelve, and while I have strong vegan leanings I haven't actually made the leap yet.

The reason I'm curious about how it relates to your ED (if at all) is because I've noticed that when I eat vegan, I tend to feel way less guilty about my consumption and I'm way more likely to not obsess over calories. It's days that I eat nonvegan things that I feel disgusting. I think I use my vegan ideas to guilt myself into eating less, but I can't do that when I'm eating vegan, so my desire for weight loss is actually keeping me from wanting to go vegan? It's really convoluted and illogical, and I wish I could find the motivation to restrict when I am eating vegan. :/


(P.S. This is my second post and I still haven't written an introduction. I probably never will. So hi, everyone!)

[Rant/Rave] so if every pound is 3,500 calories...
/u/thishour [64 in | 115 lbs | | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 10:52:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48yexp/so_if_every_pound_is_3500_calories/
---
if every pound is 3,500 calories and i started off at 20 lbs over the weight i wanted to be then...

3500 cals * 20 lbs = 70,000 cals

then if even eating a normal 1,400 calories for my height everyday...

70,000 cals / 1400 calsPerDay = 50 days

I had over-eaten by 50 days.

That's disgusting.

just a thought.

[Rant/Rave] Dropped 3 sizes but don't look any different
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Mar 4 09:46:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48y3yo/dropped_3_sizes_but_dont_look_any_different/
---
Fucking body dysmorphia. I have NEVER been able to fit in a size 6 in my life and here I am with a lovely new dress that fits perfectly. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I still see that huge fat person. It's so demoralizing to do all the hard work to lose weight and not be able to see it on yourself. :-(

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 4 09:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48xwwr/daily_food_diary_march_04_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] I dumped by boyfriend last night and didn't binge!
/u/Wantminime [5'1" | 136lbs | 27 | -44lbs | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 07:53:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48xmd4/i_dumped_by_boyfriend_last_night_and_didnt_binge/
---
Instead I ate a 90 calorie fiber bar for dinner and went to a yoga class, putting me at 295 cals for the day, and making me one full pound lighter this morning!
(Now I'm back to my flair weight, thank god. Seeing the scale go back up is the worst thing in the world).

The only problem? He won't leave my house WHICH I OWN, and I'm the one sleeping on a friend's couch. He's like "we don't hate each other, so why is me staying here for a month or two awkward?"

[Discussion] Thoughts on exercise
/u/The_littlest_naylor
Created: Fri Mar 4 07:47:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48xll2/thoughts_on_exercise/
---
I have a hard time convincing myself to do legit workouts because they always make me so hungry and I eat so much. I have tried to lose weight "the healthy way" but it seems to be so counterproductive.

I find that restricting is the only thing that I can stick to. It is like a big game of will for me. Although, it is pretty devastating when I lose to binging...especially the nagging in my head to have a late night snack.

I do walk a lot and take the stairs as far up as I can go... I live in a high rise building and have made it up 16 floors. I clean a lot too. I count these as exercise because yeah me I made it out of bed that day.

Sorry...just thinking aloud. Also, on mobile and haven't figured out how to flair on here.

[Rant/Rave] I ate McDonald's this morning because I was upset and skipped working out
/u/thininsp
Created: Fri Mar 4 06:38:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48xbzl/i_ate_mcdonalds_this_morning_because_i_was_upset/
---
FML. Why do I let someone else's actions influence my own? Yes, i was pissed at my husband. Does that mean I have to go to fucking McDonald's? I was completely on track and had planned to fast today and workout twice. Nope, ate McDonald's and skipped the workout to hang out with a friend.

I hate myself sometimes.

[Rant/Rave] Its my friends birthday and I ate 6/23 cookies
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Fri Mar 4 06:04:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48x86h/its_my_friends_birthday_and_i_ate_623_cookies/
---
150 each ohh

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! March 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Mar 4 05:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48x1w5/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_march_04/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for March 04, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] My EPH100 pills aren't doing anything... What's your brand?
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 03:08:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48wrdj/my_eph100_pills_arent_doing_anything_whats_your/
---
Hallo. I bought some EPH100 pills from astronutrition a few weeks ago. They're apparently 300mg caffeine and 100mg ephendra. But I don't seem to get the slightest kick from them. Normal caffeine pills do more for me....

Have I got a dud brand? What brand would you recommend?

[Help] How do I keep my friends from finding out?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Mar 4 01:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48wjar/how_do_i_keep_my_friends_from_finding_out/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] vignette
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 126.8lbs | 19.79 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Fri Mar 4 00:38:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48wf6y/vignette/
---
If I am going to have money for weed, then I need to spend as little as possible at the corner store. But I can't drink coffee without milk, and I can't do my day without coffee, so here I am, with 1l of homo at the cash, already rung up.

I walk up and down every aisle, looking for *something* that I wouldn't feel bad about eating, or using, or spending money on, when money is so so tight. Nothing. Nothing at all doesn't make me feel wracked with guilt. I've made the cashier wait for minutes now.

"Your favourite," he says with his thick accent, gesturing.

He indicates Goldfish crackers, one of my major binge foods. I feel like the word favourite resounds unnaturally, in my personal echo chamber of shame.

When I get home, I apportion it out into ziplocs, in an effort to stop myself from eating it all at once.

Do you think it works?

I hate myself sometimes

[Rant/Rave] Contacting my ex is making me want to restrict?
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 146 | 25.5 | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 22:21:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48w0jb/contacting_my_ex_is_making_me_want_to_restrict/
---
Hi guys :)
So recently I've been in some contact with my ex (we have mutual friends) and every time I see her I just feel terrible. But the one upside is that whenever I see her it just makes me want to restrict more. Especially hearing about all the stuff she's doing losing weight and going to the gym, ect.

I contacted her today because even though we're broken up, she said that she would always be there if I needed support for my eating stuff. I've been on the verge of getting back into the lifestyle, but kind of on the fence about it.I thought contacting her would help so I texted but after a couple messages she just stopped replying when she knew I needed support. So fuck her, if she doesn't care then I don't have to either and I can restrict all I want :)

[Rant/Rave] I purged for the first time tonight
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Thu Mar 3 22:04:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vyfn/i_purged_for_the_first_time_tonight/
---
After the Mega Fast I lost all control and binged for the last three weeks straight, eating all of my dysphoria and depression.

I did really well the last couple of days, restricting leading up to a 36 hr fast that I broke at lunch today by cutting a six inch subway sub in half and splitting it in two.

Then I lost control and "binged" on a can of tuna and a can of chicken breast to the tune of 200 kcal. So I'm at 500 by this point...

Then I eat half of my kids food, but that only came to about 200kcal in itself, so 700 total...


Then I was jamming out on Rocksmith and my body betrays me and I get the uncontrollable urge to puke, so I rush to the bathroom and push up nothing but acid, but this was the first time I've ever purged and I'm scared and my throat was raw and my head was pounding.

Ugh.

[Thinspo] I just want people to say my head is too big for my body
/u/not_meeeee
Created: Thu Mar 3 22:00:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vxvm/i_just_want_people_to_say_my_head_is_too_big_for/
---
http://imgur.com/k1oyrQV

[Discussion] Does anybody else "uncover" quirks about their body when they lose weight?
/u/Arc_cake [5'5 | 149.6 | 25.19 | -6.2 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 21:22:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vsqz/does_anybody_else_uncover_quirks_about_their_body/
---
I know it sounds weird, but I noticed once I start losing weight, I get a dimple on one side of my face when I smile. Is this because I lost weight? Or maybe I'm just smiling more?? Who knows ĀÆ\_(惄)_/ĀÆ

Does anybody else discover cool things about their body?

[Goal] some pretty great things about today
/u/assboy69 [5'11 | 120 | 16.2 | -45 | M]
Created: Thu Mar 3 19:47:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vfb1/some_pretty_great_things_about_today/
---
ive had a pretty bad 3 months in terms of my ED but today everything kind of worked out and im pretty happy


-
1: ordered a new scale and it finally came last night

2: my old scale didnt have decimal readings and when i weighed myself this morning i was EXACTLY baack down to my goal weight, 120.0!!! i dont even know how since i didnt even get everything up the night before but im back. i was like "this shit is BROKEN" but i went and got some weights and tested it and its accurate

3: today was the first day in OVER 3 MONTHS where i DIDNT b/p, save for a few days where i forced myself to not purge after a binge. today i didnt binge OR purge though and ate at maintenance and im SO FUCKING HAPPY. like wow all i had to do was not eat. i feel like ive broken thru a fucking wall and its gonna be way easier from here. im (hopefully) never gonna purge again. this is crazy

-

im probably gna be more active here now cause the past few weeks have just been super discouraging and depressing and i didnt see the point in posting here but im starting to feel better now

[Rant/Rave] Interesting day
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5| 109 | 20.24 | -23lb | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 19:22:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vbwy/interesting_day/
---
My best friend is in recovery for an eating disorder. This week is my school's National Eating Disorder Awareness Week and she was on a panel to discuss her personal struggle. I don't think she knows about my eating habits, but I went to her panel having not eaten for 31 hours and having just gone to a fitness class. I feel awful about hiding this from her but I honestly think it would just make things worse.

I have until March 27th to get to my goal weight because that is when lent ends and I'm supposedly cutting processed sugars and carbs from my diet for lent (even though I'm both agnostic and Jewish) and if I keep up these eating behaviors after that people will be suspicious.

Sorry for the rant! I just kind of needed to talk about the juxtaposition I'm in. After the talk, I went up to her and said "I'm so glad I don't have an eating disorder". I hate lying to her.

[Help] I just need to hear someone who binged a lot tell me they made it
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 19:10:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48vabq/i_just_need_to_hear_someone_who_binged_a_lot_tell/
---
Tonight was bleak and my life feels like an indie movie about depression.

It would help right now just to hear about someone who binged every now and then and still made it to their goal weight. I feel trapped in my body.

[Rant/Rave] I LOVE that I've started working out every day but....
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 17:12:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48utbz/i_love_that_ive_started_working_out_every_day_but/
---
if for some reason I can't make it to the gym (i.e. - haven't seen my best friend in weeks and tonight is our only chance to catch up for a few more weeks so I need to be rational and choose her over the gym + I'm fucking exhausted), I feel like I MUST fast to "make up for the calories I would've burned" and the anxiety is through the roof. I feel like if I even ate a small dinner it'd turn straight to fat because I'm not putting in a hardcore workout. I feel like I'm "losing muscle", "quitting", "losing control", "giving up", and "failing" because I'm choosing a social engagement over the gym tonight. And fucking fuck fuck FUUUCK I WANT ICE CREAM SO BAD CURSE YOU PRE-PERIOD CRAVINGS.

Ugh, it's as mentally exhausting to NOT go to the gym as it would be to just physically neglect the rest of my life and go.

[Rant/Rave] "I'll stop when..."
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 16:25:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48umek/ill_stop_when/
---
I said I would stop when I reached my ugw, and then try to eat 'normally' while exercising a lot so I don't gain more than 10lbs at least. So that means I gotta go lower than my ugw, so when I gain I stay around my ugw. I know I'm confusing myself. But even if I "stop" my thoughts will still be the same, my fears and just everything so will I really be stopping? The answer is no.

Idk I'm scared I was on youtube and this video came up about the things you didn't know about bulimia and anorexia and although I already knew them, this time hearing them again scared me because now I kinda have something to look forward to in life, when before I didn't even care if I died the next day. So now I'm afraid for my future and my health but I know that won't stop me from feeling this way and indulging in these behaviors. I really don't wanna recover and get fatter. But I really don't want to ruin this opportunity for myself and my future.

Ugh my head is killing me I've been b&p'ing for the past 5 days and the number on the scale this morning was greater than yesterdays so that's a complete failure...

[Thinspo] Add me on fitbit // what are your main thinspos?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Thu Mar 3 15:53:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48uhob/add_me_on_fitbit_what_are_your_main_thinspos/
---
PM me your add link and I'll add you :) also, ive seen that people use fashion bloggers on tumblr for thinspos and i wanna see more of those! tumblr/instagram/anything you got :)

[Rant/Rave] Tired of the bullshit. Seriously frustrated!!! Ready to get back into the lifestyle.
/u/holographicbiologist [5'4" | HUGE| 30 | -35 lbs | Female]
Created: Thu Mar 3 15:33:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ue7w/tired_of_the_bullshit_seriously_frustrated_ready/
---
I am a former anorexic (5'4" and 98 lbs) that has fallen from grace. I met a guy, started smoking weed, and have gained over 100lbs (230lbs)!!! I previously used restriction to reach my goal weight. Now I am just flabbergasted.... I have no idea what to do except restriction and exercise! I already burned 600 calories at the gym today.

What do you girls think? Please help me grasp my footing again! I just went to my apartment's gym and burned 500 calories (on top of restricting). Please help me be beautiful again!

[Intro] Posted on here a few times, never did an intro.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 3 15:09:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48uagb/posted_on_here_a_few_times_never_did_an_intro/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Are you guys pro-ed or pro-recovery?
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Thu Mar 3 14:04:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48u0ln/are_you_guys_proed_or_prorecovery/
---
Just curious cause this community always seemed slightly more proana than the other ones I've been in, though it is also my favorite. :x

Personally, I'm pro-recovery but I'm not planning to recover anytime soon.

[Intro] Lurker's Intro & Rambling
/u/BilboOfHouseBaggins [5'2.5 | Fat | -15lb | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 12:45:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48tn2t/lurkers_intro_rambling/
---
I've been on here lurking for a while now but I've hesitated doing an intro post simply because I'm so ashamed of my weight. I've been up and down weight-wise since I was 12. I started recovering at 17 but it spun me back into plain weight gain from binging. In fact I don't think I was close to recovered but kept on binging to help cope except without purging. In my head it equaled recovery but yeah no. Now I'm back to old habits and stuff because I realized how gross I got. But that's not exactly the point of this post.

I feel weird posting but today I just need support. I had a huge fight with my boyfriend last night who told me I was garbage and tainted everyone I dated and I was disgusting. So I binged then purged everything. I cried feeling like a waste of space and because of what I ate. Today I feel shaky and I'm full of nerves because today is the day I start a new job: my first food service job lol. I don't know how to stop shaking and cope since my anxiety triggers my stressed-induced IBS so I don't want to eat at all before work.

All around I'm a mess today.

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] "It feels very much as if you are possessed, as if you have no will of your own but are in constant battle with your body, and you are losing."
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 12:21:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48tiym/thinspo_it_feels_very_much_as_if_you_are/
---
http://i.imgur.com/v7g4rFQ.jpg?1

[Discussion] So... how often do you guys poop?
/u/skinnybutfluffy [5'2.5" | 126 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 11:31:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48taad/so_how_often_do_you_guys_poop/
---
I've always had abnormally infrequent bowel movements, but when I'm restricting, it seems like I should still be pooping more than I am - especially with all the coffee I drink!


I've been taking calcium supplements too, which can make you constipated. But I was just curious what the "normal" was for you ladies. :)

[Help] How did you handle a break from EC stacking?
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 115.8lbs | 17.35 | -15lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 11:18:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48t80r/how_did_you_handle_a_break_from_ec_stacking/
---
Ever since discovering the EC stack it has been a dream. I have absolutely no self control so when I'm hungry, I eat. No two ways about it. The EC stack meant I just wasn't hungry, and I was buzzing off my tits!!

Now, after finishing my first lot of 50 tablets in around a month, I let my pills run out to force myself into a break. I'm terrified of long term health consequences and I want my tolerance to drop again. I've order my next lot which should take around 3 weeks to get here.

So, I'm wondering, how did you guys handle your break? Did you gain a shit ton?? I took my last pill today and I'm starting to freak out. Did you cut out the caffeine at the same time??

Also, is there anything I can get my hands on in a UK pharmacy without a prescription that comes anywhere close to Ephedrine, in an emergency??

I was always planning to take a break but now the time has come I'm shitting myself. Today I hit my lowest ever adult weight. I can't decide it this is the best or the worst time for this cut off to come!!

Sorry for the rambling this ended up way longer than it needed to be. Any thoughts and discussion on your own experiences would be great, my favourite part of this community is getting to hear from other people!

Much love to all <3

[Help] Should I binge and then fast???
/u/sternums [5'2 | 144.6 | -12 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Thu Mar 3 11:02:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48t5bg/should_i_binge_and_then_fast/
---
I've been on a 2 day binge streak which I recently found out was bc my period came early. My husband brought me hot cheetos bc he knew I didnt feel good and they're my favorite. Its a huge bag. If I don't eat it he'll know somethings up, but if I do eat it I'll binge on everything. I could just eat it all that way when I fast the next few days there won't be anything to binge on. I don't think I could purge it because the acidity would kill me. Idk what to do. I gained so much the past two days. Edit: he's also buying me the new vegan Ben and Jerry's ice cream after his work.

[Discussion] Well that was a terrible idea..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 3 10:41:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48t1km/well_that_was_a_terrible_idea/
---
I've been on a roll this week. I wanted to be under 135 by this coming Sunday but I reached 134.8 this morning! I figured I'd kick things into high gear today because we are supposed to go out tomorrow night and while I usually do really well when I go downtown (thin pretty trap queens every... talk about motivation), I wanted to make sure that I was going into the weekend strong.

So, I opted out of my regular breakfast and figured I'd just do one meal in the late afternoon and do my regular workout. The morning was fine, and I started my workout around noon. I went for about an hour and a half and then my blood sugar crashed. I was lying down stretching and I just stayed there for like 15 minutes because I really couldn't get up. I just had my planned meal so hopefully that will help but damn, that was scary.

I still feel so shaky and my vision is very messed up. I think tomorrow I'll go back to what I was doing earlier this week so I can keep up with the exercise because it keeps me sane.

[Thinspo] Guys with thigh gaps?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Thu Mar 3 10:12:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48swpd/guys_with_thigh_gaps/
---
[removed]

[Goal] I did it!
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 09:53:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48stco/i_did_it/
---
I just finished my first intentional 24 hour fast! I am so proud of myself. I know to a lot of people that's not a big deal, but it is to me. I'm going to try 30 hours next.

I set a timer on my phone so every time I unlocked it the running time popped up and that really helped. Plus I started an EC stack yesterday. You can buy BronkAid and primatene in Iowa, even though the map that's always posted says you can't.

[Rant/Rave] No idea about goals or future or anything
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 09:13:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48smue/no_idea_about_goals_or_future_or_anything/
---
This is just a jumbled rant/ my thoughts... not sure if any guidance or anything can be given or not but I just need to get this off my chest. My current goal is 100Ib by March 26, so I need to lose 4Ib. But I am concerned about my goals after that... I don't know when to stop or if I can stop?? I am really conflicted. I like the sound of being 90 something Ibs and being one of those girls who just "can't keep the weight on no matter what" but I don't know how 90Ib will look on me? I know this is mean and rather unfair but some body types are better than others (in my eyes) and can handle lower weights than others. I want to be delicate, model-y, lean, beautiful, not sickly holocaust victim :/ I like restricting now. Its normal to me. I eat 850 calories a day and I feel like I am almost being to generous with myself. I can't convince myself to eat my maintence amount because 1470 is such a big number and even 1200 makes me uncomfortable now. Ugh, I don't want to lose my butt either, my bf likes it and I don't want sitting to hurt more than it already does. But at the same time, I want a flatter stomach, bigger thigh gap, and sharper hip bones. Ughhh, last time I lost weight (I don't know my lw but it was probably at least like 5 Ib lower than it is now) my butt looked sad and my arms were very frail looking and I ended up scaring myself into gaining some weight back. I ended up at about 117 Ib before I decided I was too fat and then I restricted again. I am more nutrionally aware now than I was the first time so I am losing less hair and getting my needed protein but I am still really cold and sleepy. Also I feel my face is prettier when I am thin because my cheekbones stand out nicely and even at a healthy weight I gain chub in my face rather noticeably. I am so conflicted with myself

[Rant/Rave] Anyone here currently living in Asia?
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.2 kg (95 lbs) | last binged 30th March]
Created: Thu Mar 3 09:02:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48sl1j/anyone_here_currently_living_in_asia/
---
As an Asian who has lived and studied in the US for a few years, coming home has been a huge struggle. I lived my whole life pre-ED being skinny by Asian standards (definitely would have been IP if I were living in the US. Parents would probably have been investigated for neglect). And now I'm veering dangerously into "normal" size for Asian standards, thanks to BED.

Ā 

It's frustrating because I can't talk to anyone about my wanting to lose weight and simultaneously fix my eating habits. It kills me that I'm technically a size 0/2, sometimes even a 00 (no offense America but your vanity sizing is cray cray) and if I hear another person telling me to stop losing weight and love my body because I'm already so skinny, I'm going to fucking explode.

Ā 

I'm not saying that American ED is fat ED, please don't think so. All I'm trying to say is that Asian skinny is so much more extreme than Western skinny, and I'm losing my mind trying to chase my past...and getting fatter while I do so. And I feel so alone.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 3 09:02:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48skyh/daily_food_diary_march_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Need ideas for last section of food journal - what do you put in yours?
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 08:41:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48shmt/need_ideas_for_last_section_of_food_journal_what/
---
So I have this small binder that I use as my food journal. It has five sections 1-daily weight along with the calories, fat, carb, protein, if I took an ec stack, and if I had my period 2-nutritional info on foods I commonly eat for easy reference and to jot down recipes I like 3-losertown charts in various cal/day 4-body measurements and I can't think of what to put in the last one! I have doodles, thoughts, and printed out pics of thinspo all throughout but I want another section with something but can't think of what :( Is there anything else useful I could measure?

[Rant/Rave] Literally a rant and a rave
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 3 08:16:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48sdqj/literally_a_rant_and_a_rave/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How to stay motivated when you really don't care about anything anymore?
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 103.8 | 19.21 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 07:57:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48say3/how_to_stay_motivated_when_you_really_dont_care/
---
The past couple of days have been absolutely horrible for me. I've been binging constantly, and since yesterday my PTSD has been a total cunt. I'm getting tons of flashbacks, I feel disgusting. It's so bad I'm seriously considering suicide and got to the point of actually planning it out this morning. I know it's bad so I'm trying not to do it. I really am but it's hard. Considering I might not be alive tomorrow it's hard to care about anything anymore. I was supposed to be on a fast today but I just want to binge now. It might distract me from the constant flashbacks and, hey, who gives a fuck about gaining weight if I'm gonna die anyway. I've already gained tons of weight in the last couple of days and I know how much I'll hate myself if I gain more. I just don't know what the fuck to do.

[Rant/Rave] This is worse than a hangover....
/u/scarletbegonia_ [5'5 | 117.8 | 19.83 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 07:42:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48s8ub/this_is_worse_than_a_hangover/
---
I had been doing SO WELL the past 2 weeks, managing to stay around 600 kcal/day (with a few exceptions unfortunately :/) BUT last night I just threw all of that away and binged like I had literally never seen food before. I woke up feeling sick to my stomach and I can't tell if it's from all the food or just me thinking about what a whale I am that's making me nauseous. I had been looking forward to this weekend so much (it's a huge party weekend at my college) and now I feel like I don't even deserve to participate. Is there anything I can do to fix this? I just feel so helpless. I was on such a high from how well I did earlier that now I just feel like I've crashed and burned and there's no coming back. So much for binge free March....

[Tip] 5 / 50 / 70 / 90
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 114 | BMI 17 | -11 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 06:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rxnx/5_50_70_90/
---
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t31.0-8/12778855_1140681299277621_7544699229853569597_o.png

[Discussion] Do you consider this to be a thigh gap?
/u/khtfc09 [5' 7.75" | 140lbs | 21.13 | 10.6lbs | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 05:24:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rr7n/do_you_consider_this_to_be_a_thigh_gap/
---
http://i.imgur.com/a4meHrK.png

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support March 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Mar 3 05:02:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rowl/weekly_emotional_support_march_03_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] How to not feel so lethargic all day while restricting?
/u/rainingdeath [1.77m | 55.5 kg | 17.31 | -20.5 kg | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 04:24:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rlat/how_to_not_feel_so_lethargic_all_day_while/
---
I'm not even halfway my workday and I'm already having trouble staying sharp and I'm feeling weak and whatnot. I will only have some 9-kcal broth for lunch too, so I don't have an energy boost or anything planned either. So I was wondering... How do you guys do it? Any tips so I won't feel so sluggish?

And sorry for the lack of flair. I would, but I'm on mobile.

[Rant/Rave] Classmate said I looked thinner, asked if I was eating right.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Mar 3 03:05:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48re5q/classmate_said_i_looked_thinner_asked_if_i_was/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Finally BMI under 20!!
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 02:41:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rbxj/finally_bmi_under_20/
---
I'm so glad when I stepped on the scale for the first time since my cakeday (and my bingeweekend, which was terrible). My new weight is 126 and my BMI is finally under 20!! That means I only have to lose about 5 more pounds to be classified as underweight. My day couldn't start any better. I know my weightloss is slow (30 pounds in a year, but I'm heavily monitored by psychs and friends) but it is kinda steady I guess? Anyway I've been doing better since I started living on my own (in my super cute apartment, yay!^^).
I couldn't have done it without the support of this group. You are all lovely and an inspiration to me. My first gw of 125 is so very very close now that I can work towards my second gw of 115. I'm sure I'll manage. For today I'm just gonna celebrate with drinking a shit ton of water and not going over 600 cal. Stay strong, lovelies!

[Thinspo] [x-posted to /r/TrueThinspo] PoC Thinspo Mega-Album
/u/calorified
Created: Thu Mar 3 02:23:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48rag0/xposted_to_rtruethinspo_poc_thinspo_megaalbum/
---
http://imgur.com/a/jmIu5

[Rant/Rave] Dumb Chick Eats Everything, Gets Fat, The End
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Thu Mar 3 02:12:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48r9dh/dumb_chick_eats_everything_gets_fat_the_end/
---
A week and a half ago I got back from visiting my bf, where I was pretty bad about calories but probably not much over maintenance on average. But on the very last day we had a huge fight and he dumped me. (Please no comments about this... Both parties were wrong and he's not "a loser I'm better off without" or anything else people like to say after breakups.)

Since then:

1. I've been completely nocturnal (undoing all my hard work to manage my sleep disorder over the past 6 months), skipped EVERY class, missed a test and failed to hand in an essay.

2. I've spent easily $150 or more on binge food from the convenience store and a pizza place (because nothing else is open while I'm awake), eating what I'm sure is over 3500 calories a day.

3. Because of this, I'm late with both my rent and my power bill, and can't afford to buy cat food. I have no income (student loans only) and I'll have to beg from my mother while I try to find a job. But she's poor too so I don't think she'll be able to help much.

4. I semi-considered purging at least some of what I've been binging on but thought "fuck it, I don't care about life". I've gained at least 5 pounds just in this week (never mind the vacation), I'm breaking out and my face is bloated like a disgusting doughy lump.

5. I'm terrified to weigh myself and I can't leave the house because of anxiety about how fat I look. I'm afraid to put on clothes in case they don't fit me. I ran out of money to buy binge food with (still have some safe food in the house -- I don't binge on that) so instead of going back to restricting I STOLE MY ROOMMATE'S COOKIES.

This isn't even about my breakup anymore, it's just a self-perpetuating cycle of horror. I feel like I'm trapped in my own body doing all this crazy shit and watching my life slip away BECAUSE OF FOOD, OF ALL THINGS. Not fucking meth or heroin, just FOOD.

I'm so nauseated with myself, and most of all I feel horrible for my cat. She must be able to tell that I'm overeating while her portions are rationed. I would do anything to turn back the past week and just buy a goddamn bag of cat food instead of ONE binge.

I know you guys can't do anything about any of this and I'm just another shitty fat faker with no self control polluting this forum. I feel so disgusting and awful and ashamed.

[Discussion] low bp
/u/SingForMaya [5'2" |108 | bmi19.75 | -16 | F, 24 | GW:87]
Created: Thu Mar 3 00:37:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48r14d/low_bp/
---
blood pressure has always been low for me, since I can remember. but some days, I wake up and can't lift my arms above my head without blacking out. This morning was particularly bad, in that I tried picking up my pug puppy (like 7 lbs max) and stumbled and my vision left me. Later on at work, I couldn't walk or talk without getting out of breath. Anyone else experience this and have a fix?

EDIT- thanks guys :3 salt it is! and doc appointments are like $200 just to see them for 5 minutes so I hatehatehate going. but I guess I will.

[Discussion] [Advice/tips] seeking recipes that burn calories to prep
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Thu Mar 3 00:04:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48qxxu/advicetips_seeking_recipes_that_burn_calories_to/
---
I just had a stroke of genius! I cook dinner for my family p much daily and I'm trying to increase my deficit by a lot this week. What are some recipes/foods that burn more calories to prepare than others or take longer to prep? I looked online and didn't find anything coming up so I'm going to make an impromptu list. Please add if you think of any!

- Salsa (all that chopping!)
- shucking corn, peas, string beans, etc.
- Peeling potatoes, mashing potatoes
- Chopping salad (radishes, carrots, cucumbers, celery, onions, peppers, etc.)
- deboning chicken or beef
- shredding meat
- whisking eggs or cream
- chili? (Chopping & stirring?)
- grating veggies, cheese, etc
- prepping ground beef
- prepping dough (anyone know of dishes that require heavily kneaded dough?)
- heavy roasts like pork loin (lifting)

Can't think of any more (and these are really more actions than recipes but whatever. Both work.)

[Discussion] What physical boundaries do you use to determine "too fat"?
/u/fearsize [5'4" | 126 | 22.05 | -3 | f]
Created: Wed Mar 2 22:52:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48qqe3/what_physical_boundaries_do_you_use_to_determine/
---
When I was in high school, I had a friend who told me that "when your stomach sticks out past your breasts you're fat". Since then, it has been a sort of guideline to how much I have to improve and how good or bad I'm doing. Another guide I have for myself is how much of my inner arm rests on my chest when I have my arms at my side. It's like reaching for a weird sort of thigh gap with my arms/chest.

Does anyone else have weird physical limits for themselves like this?

[Discussion] personal ed instagram accounts?
/u/grassbum [5'5" | 97 | 16.33 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 21:36:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48qeq3/personal_ed_instagram_accounts/
---
Sorry if theres already a thread on this, but i thought itd be cool to follow each other? im @lil_ plant , post your ig n i'll follow you !

edit: Follow @lil_ plant_ !!!! not the one posted above

[Intro] Misfit + Intro!
/u/fantomlvr [5' 6" | 185.6 | 30.08 | -24.8 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 20:43:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48q6nl/misfit_intro/
---
Hey all! I'm about to fall off the wagon and I figured that becoming part of the community instead of just lurking would be a good way to stay strong :)

I'm 20, have struggled with various disordered eating behaviors since I was 16 years old and under immense stress to graduate high school a year early. Restricting is my favorite (if that makes sense) of all of my behaviors, since it's the one that makes me look the best, lol. Currently I'm restricting to about 300 cals a day, but I can feel the binge/purge cycle sneaking up on me and I'm trying to avoid that at all costs.

Anyway, I also recently got a Misfit activity tracker and want to add people! You can add me by searching for fantomlvr (same as my Reddit name)!

Thanks for having me :D

[Discussion] Drinking....ugh
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 126 | 18.27 | -14 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 20:15:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48q2un/drinkingugh/
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I haven't drank for over a year and I just recently started casually drinking again BUT OMG DOES IT ADD ON CALORIES. Luckily I have been able to maintain but it is so nice to have a glass of wine.... It is so frustrating because one glass is so many calories and it is rarely ever just one glass. How do you guys deal with these urges?

[Rant/Rave] Screw breakfast!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 20:01:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48q133/screw_breakfast/
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[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Roles sort of reversed and...Geez...
/u/ikillsouls [5' 2" | 105 | 19.2 | -21 lb | f]
Created: Wed Mar 2 19:13:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pu7w/roles_sort_of_reversed_andgeez/
---
So middle school, I was fatter. And I mean, gross fat I don't know how I had friends or didn't see it when I looked in the mirror. Anyway, there was this girl, J. J was fucking beautiful and sort of bitchy. She was really nice at first but once you got to know her she got a little too comfortable and said awful things.
We were close-ish at first, then she started being mean. She had this weird obsession with my niece and told me not to "turn her into what I was". Whatever the fuck that meant. She would also constantly drop hints about how fat I was. Pinching my cheeks, calling me chubby etc. We stopped talking but, fun coincidence, she decided to go to the same high school as me. 4 years avoiding each other blah blah.

Fast forward to august, I find out she's also going to the same college as me. Fuck, another 4 years like this.

In October, one of my close friends asks me to go up to her dorm to hang out. Guess who's with her. Fucking J. Apparently my friend, M , became friends with J after she fucked her brother and now they're close (???). M encourages me to talk to J more.

Holy shit. J has gained at least 15 pounds. She's super nice now, but....fat. I've lost 20 pounds since the starts of senior year to now. She mentions it a lot. Whenever I talk about wanting to lose weight she makes comments about how thin I am. It's weird. Seeing someone who I used to be jealous of be what she made fun of me for.

So now, J keeps gaining weight, she's almost always looking for food it's crazy. We went to Starbucks the other day and I commented about how a brownie was 400 calories and she said "isn't that half of what you're supposed to eat a day". I tried explaining bmr & bmi to her but she said "no I don't wanna hear it" and drank her 500 cal Frappuccino.
It's just really weird how things change and how bad I feel about her discomfort with her body.


[Tip] "Sure I'll have a beer.."
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 18:59:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ps4j/sure_ill_have_a_beer/
---
When you pour out a can of beer and fill it with water so you can be included without consuming calories :3

[Rant/Rave] first time binge
/u/immadeof_wax
Created: Wed Mar 2 18:50:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pqef/first_time_binge/
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So im usually just super restrict my calories and thats it. I have barely any gag reflex so binging has just never worked for me and restricting is easier. But today, I fucked up and ate this whole goddamn bag of trail mix. Which really was only 600 calories but thats basically my calorie intake for the day so I freaked out and tried to binge, but I think I scratched my throat or something because along with the trail mix I finally managed to get up I also threw up blood....idk, I just don't have anyone else I can tell about this. Now my throat just hurts and I still feel like a goddamn whale with no self control. Sorry for the long ass post

[Rant/Rave] Funny how fast things change.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 18:21:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pkdu/funny_how_fast_things_change/
---
I've been having a great few days. Down 2.6 pounds in the last 7 days, stuck to (and was way under) my calorie goals for the last 3. I've been happy and energetic and feeling on top of the world. Then today, I confront my roommate about something she did and she proceeds to inform me that she doesn't want to renew our lease and that she wants to move out in a month when she goes on coop for school. Meaning I'm without furniture and over half of the rent. The way she worded it was like our friendship meant nothing to her.

And now I'm sitting here drowning in self hate. I want to starve away anything that someone could love because in my sick and twisted brain hurting myself hurts her too. I hate that the words of someone else can have such an effect on me. That they can ruin the good feelings of an entire week.

I feel vile and worthless and weak and feeble and I want to disappear.

[Thinspo] Unconventional/obscure thinspo?
/u/burtra12
Created: Wed Mar 2 18:17:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pjk2/unconventionalobscure_thinspo/
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I feel like I see a lot of the same people used as thinspo (Mary Kate, Nichole Ritchie, Megan Fox) but who are some of your favorite thinspo figures that not everyone knows? One of mine is Yolandi from Die Antwoord. She's so petite! http://i.imgur.com/FAA4GAE.jpg

I'm madly, deeply in love! LLi3CyVmt
/u/ofimjnqdwgxeky
Created: Wed Mar 2 17:47:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pe92/im_madly_deeply_in_love_lli3cyvmt/
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http://cityinsurancemissouri.com/oeR6LyVwabrxhsoQo

[Rant/Rave] rambling/fitbit
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 17:27:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48pa1v/ramblingfitbit/
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I binged this morning, freaking again. I still should not be up three freaking pounds. I've been taking a diuretic since I'm hoping it's period water weight and took my first primatene 30 minutes ago. My husband is working late tonight so I can skip dinner too. I really hope I can make it 24 hours without eating, possibly more. I'm just so tired of being fat and binging.

On the upside my replacement fitbit came!!! Is there a thread for fitbit friends?

[Tip] Vegetable Jambalaya!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 17:07:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48p6fd/vegetable_jambalaya/
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[deleted]

[Help] Store bought smoothies? Thoughts?
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Wed Mar 2 16:25:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48p09g/store_bought_smoothies_thoughts/
---
I like bolthouse farms, what do you guys think of these?

[Discussion] Advice about spring break travelling and maintaining
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 16:24:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ozxp/advice_about_spring_break_travelling_and/
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So I am taking a trip to the UK with my boyfriend's family for a week next week. I want to maintain optimally but I'm at a low weight and I'm worried eating normally will bring me back up.


This trip means beer, restaurant food, nosey females who I need to impress since I'm dating their son/brother, and absolutely no myfitnesspal or they would all be annoyed and concerned.

Some of the things I already know I'll do are:

-order soup as much as possible and avoid bread and pasta like the plague

-Go as slow as I can with the alcohol but have a bottle in hand all night to make it look like I'm partaking

-pretend like I get sick if I eat in the mornings

The upside to all this is that we'll be hiking around a lot. Can I get some advice on how to at least maintain without being able to count calories or cook my own food, and without tipping off any of my boyfriend's family about my disordered eating?


[Tip] I had to share a simple Asian stirfry -"noodles" and veggies, low cal!
/u/skinnybutfluffy [5'2.5" | 126 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 16:22:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48oznd/i_had_to_share_a_simple_asian_stirfry_noodles_and/
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Hey, ladies! This is half-tip, half-rave. :)


So I like to save up most of my calories for the evening because I become ravenous later in the day, which triggers my binges. This makeshift recipe results in a HUGE bowl of spicy teriyaki noodle and veggie stirfry for only ~235 calories!

You can easily split this up into numerous meals, use less of certain ingredients, or just make it your own with whatever sounds best to you! (--Please share your variations! I love changing it up! :) )



Ingredients:

-- Bag of Shirataki noodles - 20 calories for the entire bag (Drain, rinse WELL, and boil for 3-4 minutes! It gets rid of the off-putting taste and smell!)

-- Bag of Veggies - 120 calories for the entire bag (I use a BirdsEye steamer bag with broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots.)

-- 2 Egg Whites - 40 calories (They're really 34, but I over-estimate purposefully.)

-- Minced Garlic - 10 calories (2 tsp = 10 calories)

-- Chili Paste - technically 0 calories (I pile this onnnn; I love spicy food, though.)

-- Teriyaki Sauce - 45 calories (1 tbsp = 15 calories)


1. Bring water in sauce pan to a boil. While waiting, prepare your sauce in a bowl (teriyaki and chili paste) and begin steaming the veggies in the microwave.

2. Rinse noodles thoroughly and place in boiling water, then begin preheating your pan/wok with the garlic in it (I don't use oil to spare calories, but you definitely can!).

3. Drain veggies and throw them in the pan/wok. Pour a little bit of your sauce on these while they cook - save the majority of dat sauce for later, though!

4. Drain and add noodles - then crack your egg whites on top, add half of the remaining sauce, and stir it all up.

5. Let that cook, stirring periodically, until it appears the egg whites are cooked throughout and the dish is supermegaawesomehot.

6. Add remaining sauce, pour into a large bowl, and enjoy!

Even with me eating this as well as breakfast, lunch, and dessert, I'm clocking in at under 500 calories!

Also, I word vomit. Shit. Sorry for the wall of text.

[Rant/Rave] Morbidly obese mom and kids. A rant and rave.
/u/burtra12
Created: Wed Mar 2 15:21:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48opkb/morbidly_obese_mom_and_kids_a_rant_and_rave/
---
I love kids. I work at a school and I want to be a teacher. I know ED is not necessarily "healthy", but you, madam, are abusing your kids. Your son can't me more than 7 and is grossly overweight. Your daughter is maybe...11? And she's got an even worse fate because the teasing will be worse for her. Why is what you're doing considered socially acceptable, but I'm a monster? The only person I'm hurting is myself. I'm not ruining the lives of children, here. And the myth about how it's more expensive to eat healthy food has been proven false time and time again. The cold hard truth is you're lazy, you have no will power and discipline, and you're teaching your kids to be the same way. At least I have some self control. Poor kids. I don't have any because I don't want to screw them up with my problems. Maybe you should've done the same. End rant.

[Tip] Stay hydrated, lovelies! <3
/u/watchingwheels80 [5'5" | 129| 21.5 | -46 | F ]
Created: Wed Mar 2 15:13:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ooat/stay_hydrated_lovelies_3/
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This is your reminder to drink enough water! Story below;

I've had a horrible week. I've been binging like crazy since Monday, and couldn't get it under control. I got on the scale this morning and it said I weighed ten pounds more than it said on Sunday morning! I realized it was water weight, and that's when something bigger hit me.

I've been dehydrated since Monday. I have barely drank anything, despite feeling thirsty. I just didn't FEEL like drinking, if that makes sense? But, that explains the binges, then! I've since drained my 28 oz. Gatorade bottle of water twice, and will continue to do so.

Lesson learned. I'm going to drink 28 oz WITH BREAKFAST from now on, in order to stave off binges!

[Intro] Well, I'm back. Relapsing.
/u/Ethereal_Whisper [5'11 1/4" | CW 135.0 | 18.06 | GW 115 (-3) | MtF]
Created: Wed Mar 2 14:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ocj6/well_im_back_relapsing/
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Used to post here as u/Lady_Justice_ but I'd rather use a different account for this sub now.

I was in "recovery" (seeing a therapist twice a week, eating like a pig) since around mid-January or so. I've gained ten pounds in six weeks and it feels AWFUL. I can't take it anymore. My relapse was slow, but I fell back into all my old habits one by one. Mentally counting calories, starting to skip meals, eating slowly, cutting my food up into tiny bites, and all that. It felt... familiar. Comforting.

I can do this right this time. It's good to be back.

[Tip] Tip for controlling night snacking :)
/u/HiccupKitten [5'4" I 110.8 I 19.0 I -5 lbs I F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 13:42:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48o8c6/tip_for_controlling_night_snacking/
---

My evenings are ALWAYS when I crack and eat past goal calories. I've decided to not forbid any snacking, but instead allow celery and carrot matchsticks for myself if I'm peckish at night!

I've prepped them (cut, wash) and set them in a Tupperware labeled "105 SNACKS", as 105 is my current gw eating these for snacks will help me get there :)

So maybe try labeling whatever safe food you have with your gw as a reminder why you're doing this !

[Rant/Rave] [rant] Fucking awful week
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 121 | 19.8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 13:25:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48o5fe/rant_fucking_awful_week/
---
I've had a dreadful last week (or more) and it's all down to stress eating. I've been hiting like 2k calories every day and now I'm scared to weigh myself. It's all been junk food and whatever I can get my hands on, zero nutritional value either. I hate how my body looks normally and now I can't stand to look in the mirror. I'm so angry at myself.

It's 20:30 now. I'm making a pledge to myself to never be like this again. Control.

[Rant/Rave] i am not vegan but it's such an "easy" excuse
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:53:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nzej/i_am_not_vegan_but_its_such_an_easy_excuse/
---
http://i.imgur.com/pN5mwiA.jpg

[Rant/Rave] My kinda-boyfriend is visiting me this weekend and I'm so anxious!
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 124 | 17.98 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:50:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nyso/my_kindaboyfriend_is_visiting_me_this_weekend_and/
---
I just want to get all of this down in writing so maybe I can stop fretting about it.

It looks like my ex and I are getting back together and he's coming to visit me this weekend. We broke up in December but haven't seen each other since October. I've lost about 15 lbs (142 -> 128) since he last saw me and I'm really nervous about what he'll think. I'm afraid it's going to be bad either way. If he thinks I look better thinner it's just going to reinforce my behavior and convince me that I was a fat ass. And if he is concerned or thinks I'm too thin then I'm just going to feel like shit about myself.

He also knows about my history with EDs and I told him right before we broke up that I was nervous because I felt myself slipping back into old habits. So he's going to know why I've lost weight. I want to see him so bad but I'm afraid that this is going to fuck everything up. I feel embarrassed and weak for not being able to eat like a fucking normal person. I just want to be the girl he fell in love with, and that girl wasn't afraid of a fucking sandwich.

[Intro] Long term lurker, first time poster
/u/CatsMossGeese [5'4.5" | 154 | 26.03 =[ | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:48:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nxxr/long_term_lurker_first_time_poster/
---
Hi! My name is Elizabeth. I've been lurking for quite some time, but I've never done anything on Reddit before, other than read this page and nosleep obsessively.

I've had body issues for a long time, off an on disordered eating. I'm at my highest weight right now, 162 I think, I haven't weighed myself in a long time, looking to fix that shortly. I guess my ideal weight would be 115, but I know with my body structure that probably won't happen, so I'll be happy with smaller goals: 155, 145, 130, 125. I generally restrict and exercise a shitton, so I guess that's what's next. I work as a line cook, which makes things difficult but that's part of the life I guess. I love food, but can't bring myself to eat it half the time. I also smoke a lot of weed, so the munchies hit hard. I used to run a weight loss Tumblr from 2011-2013, but fell out of it and don't use it anymore. Working 2 jobs atm, so timing is difficult from being tired all the time. I also just bought a condo, so there's a ton to do there, means I have to spend a little less on food and more on repairs/upgrades to my place. I live with my boyfriend, who also needs to lose some weight, but not like I do.

Just looking for support at this point. Probably won't post frequently, but just saying hello.

[Help] Fuck. I don't want to eat with them.
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:10:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48no57/fuck_i_dont_want_to_eat_with_them/
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Instead of staying at a hotel in Greece as I'd planned, turns out we're staying with a family friend, which means that they'll cook and expect me to eat with them. I wanted to fast a couple days for my presentation on Saturday since I had such a taxing binge last night. I even packed some celery just in case I needed to eat something. Fuck.

I don't want to eat with them. Fuck. I don't know what to do.

[Thinspo] Before and after {not me}
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Wed Mar 2 12:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nmnd/before_and_after_not_me/
---
http://i.imgur.com/q5Ue363.png

[Rant/Rave] Coworker bought me a slice of cake (WHAT THE FUCK)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 11:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nl3u/coworker_bought_me_a_slice_of_cake_what_the_fuck/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] From my stats I'm "underweight"
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 108 | 18.18 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 11:53:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nl17/from_my_stats_im_underweight/
---
But why cant I see any bone? I know I've slipped up bad this last 2 weeks and gained 2 lbs but this is the most frustrated I've ever been. I cant seem to find any sort of control over myself. :(

[Help] [Help] A struggle between keeping a healthy weight and losing it.
/u/TheThinSister
Created: Wed Mar 2 11:31:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nh68/help_a_struggle_between_keeping_a_healthy_weight/
---
Just a heads up, this is also a little ranty. And please excuse grammar. I'm mobile and have to be kinda secretive with my screen.

EDs aren't new to me. It's been a pretty bad battle for the last 4 years. Right now I want to maintain a healthy weight since I'm sick. I haven't been underweight in a while and honestly, I don't want to be there again. Even at a healthy weight, I have a very low body fat. So when I'm underweight, my BF% reaches around 5%. This leaves me getting really sick quite often.

My issue I have is that because of my history with EDs, I tend either be all or nothing. And what makes it worse is that I'm home almost every day so stoned boredom eating can be an issue. It isn't even so much the munchies as much as boredom. What's even worse is my job requires me to look my best, so after the weekend (normal binge time), I'm bloated and having to do things to flush me out.

If it was just trying to gain weight, that would be fine, but I want to maintain as well. But to make it worse, another part of me wants to restrict so I can be skinny and have that flat stomach. When I eat, it tends to go like this... I eat a small meal, 40 minutes later I'm hungry. I then eat a little more. And then cravings to eat everything on earth hit. Then after about 3-4 days of this, I get under control. Eating like this leaves me bloated and gross when I need to look thin and sexy. It is even effecting my work.

I have zero control when it comes to snacking and when I eat, I don't feel fullness. Like even after eating 1700+ calories in an hour or so, I still feel hungry. I need to get my eating more under control so I can avoid binging but also eat in much a way to keep my stomach flat and looking my best. Idk how to do it.

[Goal] Goals in general, but really for March.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 11:15:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nece/goals_in_general_but_really_for_march/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Finally back into the 150s!
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 10:57:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48nasz/finally_back_into_the_150s/
---
Pounds, of course. I know for a lot of you this sounds like a crazy amount of weight, but I last weighed in the 150s about four years ago, and I'm so happy to be getting closer to who I want to be.

[Goal] BMI success!
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 10:41:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48n81l/bmi_success/
---
For some reason I've always longed to see the day my bmi went under 20. And finally that day has come! I was so busy weighing myself and trying to see the change in the scale that I forgot to check my bmi and of course when I go to update my flair its under 20! Idk why this makes me feel a bit better, although I'm still far away from being classified as underweight, which is my next goal after I reach my next gw of 110lbs. And then 5lbs less and I'll be underweight. I just wanted to share this :)

[Discussion] Have you ever experienced this?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Mar 2 10:13:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48n30o/have_you_ever_experienced_this/
---
Eating the "normal" 1500 kcal for a few days, and do feeling bad about it but not too bad. This happened a few times to me now, it aren't binges, just three normal meals a day for about a week and then crashing super hard back into my ED behavior. It slows down my progress so much :(

[Goal] March Goals!!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 100 | 16.2 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 10:08:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48n1y4/march_goals/
---
Well today is actually the second of March, but I forgot about doing this yesterday, whoops! We've had posts about setting goals for the next month and talking about what goals we reached the last month and I wanted to keep the tradition going. These shorter term goals are really helpful!! [Here] (https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43jyvb/tomorrow_starts_a_brand_new_month_what_are_your/) is the post from February. Did you achieve the goals you set? What else did you accomplish the past month? What are your goals for March?

Much love to all of you! I know you have the willpower (and the support system here!) to accomplish anything you want! <3

[Discussion] couple hours into my first EC stack
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 09:46:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48mydj/couple_hours_into_my_first_ec_stack/
---
http://i.imgur.com/GLBjuyl.gif

[Rant/Rave] My need for external validation is fueling this.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 09:08:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ms0v/my_need_for_external_validation_is_fueling_this/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Mar 2 09:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48mr26/daily_food_diary_march_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Does anyone around here have any 'stop drinking' inspo?
/u/anonyboo [5'11" | 197 | 26.6 | -3 | Female]
Created: Wed Mar 2 07:59:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48mgwz/does_anyone_around_here_have_any_stop_drinking/
---
Weight has slowly ballooned up over the last year and a half, and I'm pretty sure it's because of the drinking. I'd be at my goal weight by now if it wasn't for the booze.

I'm good, other than that. Carbs, sweet sugary things, all of that results in instant revulsion.

But you don't see calorie counts on booze, and you can't very well puke it up, at least not without extensive efforts.

How did anyone who has struggled with this get it really sunken in in their heads that whatever bottle of wine has 600-700 calories in it and one really ought to keep to moderation?

[Discussion] "New BMI" scale more accurate for short/tall individuals?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Mar 2 07:35:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48mdcz/new_bmi_scale_more_accurate_for_shorttall/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] rant because i have noone else to talk too
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Wed Mar 2 02:56:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48lify/rant_because_i_have_noone_else_to_talk_too/
---
ive lost 12 lbs and im still the fattest ive ever been in my life. im restricting more and losing slower then ever. i went out tonight for the first time in a few weeks and everyone mentioned how skinny i looked, which felt good until i saw a pic of me from the weekend and I am legit a COW. my arm is the size of a leg! AH
and now this is "good" for me?
I got undressed and the mirror just showed flab and celulite. ive never looked this bad in my life, and my hair is thin and my color is meh. sorry for the rant, just alot of emotions and weird that many compliments can make me feel so much worse


[Tip] I would love some advice.
/u/High_as_red [5'3 | 110lbs (GW 100) | -40 | F]
Created: Wed Mar 2 02:10:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48le4u/i_would_love_some_advice/
---
I realised last night that I weigh 75.9(167.3lb's).. And I fucking lost it. I've given myself 2 weeks to repair this damage. I have a rocking exercise plan but I'm gonna have to be extreme. Today is wednesday and I'm planning on eating again on Saturday morning.
What would you recomend for that meal? Something that won't interfere my efforts. I felt kinda like 2 tamatoes or some fish?

[Tip] Tip to any midnight tokers out there
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 22:42:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ksq3/tip_to_any_midnight_tokers_out_there/
---
I smoke every single night. I smoke on average 2x a week during the day, but every single night. To fall asleep, to unwind, to distract myself from food by getting lost in art, books, movies, etc. I've struggled with munchies overwhelming me and bingeing at night. For some reason, in my high & disordered mind, I feel like those calories "don't count" if it's in the middle of the night and I pass out right after. It makes no sense, but it's making me maintain and I'm not having that. During the day munchies it's not an issue because I get high to go on nature walks or before the gym to zone in fully on working out.

Well I've been binge (even mini binge) free for the past 2 nights. I think the trick is that I filled my 32oz water bottle with half cold water, half diet cranberry juice (5 cal per 8fl oz). The cold sensation is AMAZING while stoned and the taste is tart and sweet and refreshing. I just keep grabbing for my water bottle to sip more and more like its a milkshake you can't stop reaching for. But it's not a milkshake, it's WATER!!!:) I'm hydrating and filling and eventually I fall asleep. Sure, I keep fighting the munchie sensations & desires in my head but I tell myself a firm, "No. You have your high food: 32oz cranberry water. Yes, a lot of other food would be amazing high, but you're choosing to enjoy this one." and somehow, I'm listening to myself and it's working.

So make water-based drinks, cold, for munchies! Note: my usual restriction munchie choice is decaf hot tea. I drink loads of it while stoned because it feels so warm and amazing and cozy inside you and I'm usually cold. But the cranberry water satisfies a deeper urge to binge because I want to taste the food and feel the sensation. Idk, it just fills the nagging void.

Toke on & stay lovely! <3

[Discussion] Bruises
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2.5" | 101.6lbs | 18.87 | -25.6 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 22:11:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48koxi/bruises/
---
Do any of you guys bruise easily? Whenever I restrict, I bruise super easily and it's usually how my family figures out that I'm back to being sick again. Is the bruising part of having an ed? How do you guys deal with bruising if that's a thing?

[Help] Buying Bronkaid in Greece?
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 22:00:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48kne3/buying_bronkaid_in_greece/
---
Do they sell Bronkaid or some similar product with ephedrine in Greece? Is there an age requirement or restriction on how much you can buy?
I can't seem to find much information about this online.

[Help] Help me! Im in need of guidance. ..
/u/Lsancheesy
Created: Tue Mar 1 21:42:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48kkt0/help_me_im_in_need_of_guidance/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] Holy body dysmorphia batman
/u/alonelyturd [5'0 | 97.6 lbs | 20.07 | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 20:25:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k9kc/holy_body_dysmorphia_batman/
---
I went shopping today because I needed pants. I was hoping to find grey skinny jeans, but I was open to buying whatever fit.

Of the sixteen pants I picked up, all in the 0's/1's that usually fit, all of them were too big for me except for one pair. Turns out I had accidentally picked up a pair of 00's instead of the 0's I meant to grab! AND they were grey skinny jeans! And they fit!

So of course, instead of being thrilled I've gone down a size, I end up not buying them because they showed how huge my thighs were.
Then I went home and binged.

:c

[Rant/Rave] binge ruined what could've been a good day
/u/disbeetch [5'4'' | 144 | 24.72 | -24 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 20:04:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k6m9/binge_ruined_what_couldve_been_a_good_day/
---
had every intention of not eating after lunch today (would've left me around 700 for the day), but after studying for a while i suddenly got up and bought $55 worth of food, and some really indulgent shit at that. i don't have the funds or cals in my budget to be doing this!! i feel like a total failure. first EC stack tomorrow (shoutout to the massive flux of posts on this lately) so hopefully it'll be better, but as for today, i fucking hate myself

[Help] I tried to be better and now I feel worse
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 129 lbs | 19.40 | -34 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 20:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k6bn/i_tried_to_be_better_and_now_i_feel_worse/
---
All the weakness and dizziness I've been feeling lately is scaring me so, I decided to change up the strategy. Instead of logging every food whenever I ate it, I would eat and log it all at night before bed. I hoped this would allow me to eat a little more because it would reduce the stress over every bite, but that my natural aversion to bad foods would keep me in check.

It went... questionably. I ate 1200 calories in the end, which is shit, but not exactly a true binge. I bought a latte, but managed to stop myself and throw it away after a few sips. Wasting money/food isn't ideal but better than drinking a cup of milk and sugar. Then I went out to happy hour at a place with a free nacho bar (I KNOW RIGHT?!?). Managed to avoid ordering any drinks but pigged out at the nacho bar.

So, I'm not sure what to do. Do I keep going and hope it settles out? Or do you guys have any ideas? It seems kind of impossible to settle on a middle ground between deep restriction and total hedonistic binging. I want moderate restriction to keep losing without compromising my ability to perform at work. Is this impossible?

In need of guidance
/u/Lsancheesy
Created: Tue Mar 1 19:57:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k5mh/in_need_of_guidance/
---
http://imgur.com/fFE2vnv

[Help] Favorite K-Cup Flavors?
/u/loveleigh33 [5'6"| 109.0| 17.66 | -78| F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 19:52:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k4sh/favorite_kcup_flavors/
---
Hi everyone! My roommate recently got a Keurig, which means I recently got a Keurig! (Yay for sharing and nice roommates!!!)
Does anyone have any recommendations for which k-cups to buy? I usually drink black coffee but I'm open to branching out! Thanks in advance! xx

[Thinspo] More thinspo doodles (older ones) + undertale doodle
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:106/GW:85 | BMI:21.8 | Weight Lost: -1| Gender:F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 19:46:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48k402/more_thinspo_doodles_older_ones_undertale_doodle/
---
http://shangen010.tumblr.com/post/140307127279/some-old-sketches-from-my-old-sketchbook-i-filled

[Intro] Hi, just realized it's my cake day and thought I should introduce myself!
/u/GiveMeASmosh [5''2' | 101.2lb | 18.5 | -13lb | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 18:46:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48juh6/hi_just_realized_its_my_cake_day_and_thought_i/
---
Hello, I'm not really sure what to say here. I'm 17 years old and a fully licensed glider pilot! while this may sound cool, it's caused me to have an awkward struggle with my ED battle because there's a minimum weight to fly a glider! I've actually been around 102lbs for the past couple weeks but I hit a rough patch and gained two pounds the past couple days, I plan on being back down to 102 by march break for my trip to Florida.

Anyway thanks for being such a supportive subreddit. I hope to be more active in the next little while :)

edit for stupid typo

[Rant/Rave] Just a rant, sorry guys
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | CW: 105 | 20.1 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 17:32:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48jjkq/just_a_rant_sorry_guys/
---
I'm feeling terrible today, my entire drive home I just could feel how huge my stomach was. I hadn't eaten that much, probably 150 call for breakfast plus tea, coffee and carrots. But I felt terrible and depressed when I got home, and ended up eating tortillas and chocolate chips for dinner... then I took a bath (and could see my grotesquely bloated body) and had wine (more empty calories) and I just feel like breaking down. At least I'm not hungry. Sorry for the rant, just wanted to talk to someone who understood.

[Tip] When a song comes on the radio that speaks to you..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 1 17:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48jh4g/when_a_song_comes_on_the_radio_that_speaks_to_you/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Broke my fast too early before my conference...
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 16:28:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j9lk/broke_my_fast_too_early_before_my_conference/
---
... and I broke it with a huge binge. $40 worth of snack food down my bloody gullet. I feel absolutely disgusting and enraged with myself because I wanted to look fantastic when I present my paper in Greece on Saturday. I'll be on an airplane all day tomorrow (first class- they give you so much bloody food) and I'll probably be expected to eat with others when I get there as well. I ate all the food I was planning to give to my friends in Greece, and I'm a bloated fat-fuck of a whale. I can't even wear the dress I wanted because I didn't lose enough weight for it because I keep on fucking binging.

extra: I also realized that when I binged my heart rate went up to 130-150 bpm and I felt super hot. I'm really not sure what's up with that, but it was kind of scary

[Thinspo] Favorite/Good thinspos?
/u/rainydcys
Created: Tue Mar 1 16:06:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j64q/favoritegood_thinspos/
---
What are some models, celebrities etc. who help keep you all on track. I like to follow them on instagram because following pro-ana accounts gets people asking questions; my favorite is Alexis Ren and Kennedy Dawwn by the way, but I'd love some good less known ones!

[Rant/Rave] I can't wait to live on my own.
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 16:03:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j5o5/i_cant_wait_to_live_on_my_own/
---
I could binge and purge all I want with no
hiding. I could restrict with no hiding. I would be away form people who can forcibly hospitalize me. I could weigh myself everyday. I just want to be free to do as I please with my body.

I wouldn't have to worry about people finding out as much.

[Discussion] More interested in a girl if she has psych/image problems?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Tue Mar 1 15:45:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j2ut/more_interested_in_a_girl_if_she_has_psychimage/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] I put down the pasta
/u/Lunar_Heart [61.75 in | 87 lbs | 16.65 | -20 | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 15:40:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48j1xs/i_put_down_the_pasta/
---
I put it down. I made a huge bowl and decided to binge and purge but instead I took 3 bites, put it down, and told myself I didn't like it. I don't. Even if I'm savouring the taste left in my mouth. I didn't eat 500 calories of pasta. I ate maybe 50. About 3 spoonfuls, mostly the carrots though, only like 5 noodles.

I did it. 82 pounds here I come!!

[Intro] [X-Post from r/TrueThinspo] We're up and running, come help us pick our subreddit rules!
/u/AlmondDarling [5'6.5" | 144.6 | 23 | -17 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 14:33:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48iqiu/xpost_from_rtruethinspo_were_up_and_running_come/
---
Hello everyone!

I am here to cordially invite you to join the discussion regarding subreddit rules currently open over at /r/TrueThinspo! Yes, getting the subreddit revived has taken much, much, much longer than I anticipated (which is my own fault, sorry!) but after some wonderful thinspo kick-off pictures provided by the absolutely amazing /u/somanyjellyroles, it is now time to sit down and discuss the subreddit rules.

So, like I said, feel free to stop by and subscribe (only if you want - you don't have to be subbed to contribute to the discussion) and join the talk regarding what rules everyone would like to see over in /r/TrueThinspo.

Have good days everyone :)

[Link to the new /r/TrueThinspo rules thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueThinspo/comments/48i421/open_discussion_subreddit_rule_changes/?ref=share&ref_source=link)

[Tip] Do you get dizzy when bending down and standing up too quickly? Work on your toe dexterity!
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 14:32:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48iqev/do_you_get_dizzy_when_bending_down_and_standing/
---
Hey y'all,

So I was cleaning my room today and I realized that picking shit up from the floor was way too much for me. I had to take breaks after every time I bent over and I was not a fan of that, but then it hit me. Pick things up with your feet and pass it to your hand, duh! It really helps and I'm not dizzy anymore.

*But I have short toes* I hear you say. So do I, but the aim is to get the thing between your big toe and your...index toe? Whichever the second one is called. Round things like pencils you can try and grab with the bendy part of your toes (like the bit on the underside where your toes meet your foot). Give it a try!

[Help] I hate how exercise makes my body look. Help?
/u/acadavia [5'4"| 88 | 15.4 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 13:54:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ik0q/i_hate_how_exercise_makes_my_body_look_help/
---
First of all, I realize that this is completely irrational and probably all in my head. Exercise is healthy and it takes a lot of hard work to see significant changes and most people find athletic bodies attractive. I get it. But if anyone can understand, I'm hoping it's some of you.

I've always avoided exercise like the plague, but for the past two weeks, I've been doing core/glute/arm workouts every night for about an hour. Nothing too advanced, just basic routines on youtube, but I swear that I can already see changes in my body. I know two weeks is no time at all, and I'm sure that the changes I'm noticing are partly because I scrutinize my body much more closely than most people and because my perception of how I look is influenced by my feelings, but I also do think that the changes are objectively noticeable, especially right after I finish a workout. My abs, arms, and hips all look significantly more defined.

The problem is that they also look a lot bigger. I mean, I'm not saying that I like how I look without muscle tone... I look flabby and gross without it. But after I exercise, I feel enormous. I look at my new muscle definition, and I think it makes me look... *wider*. I swear that my thigh gap has gotten smaller. My arm muscles just serve to make my upper body look even more disproportionately large compared to my lower body than it did before (I have wide shoulders and narrow hips and it's always been a problem for me). I want Audrey Hepburn's body, not Ronda Rousey's.


At the risk of sounding lazy, every second of exercise is painful for me. I've always hated it. And then I look in the mirror after a workout and I feel even worse about my body and I wonder... is it worth it? Especially because it HUGELY increases my appetite... usually I have no problem restricting to 700 or below, but when I exercise, the next day I'm ravenous. Since I started working out, my weekly caloric average has jumped from 700 to 900, and **I haven't lost any weight**. In fact, I think I may have gained weight (the scale is 1.2lbs higher but it could be water retention). It's increasingly hard for me to eat below 1000, which is ridiculous, especially considering that I'm on ADHD meds. Again: Is it worth it?

I look at before/after pictures all the time, and when I look at the ones in r.fitness or r.progresspics, the "afters" for women with low BMIs who started working out and gained a little weight due to muscle mass always look much worse to me than the "befores." I mean, that's not always the case... I know that there have been a few times when I've looked at people's selfies in this sub and I can see the positive difference that muscle tone has made for some of you. But I don't know how you do it! I've talked about this problem in comments in this sub before, and a few kind people have linked me to youtube videos of routines that supposedly make your body look slimmer, and those are the ones I've been doing, but it doesn't seem to help.


Anyone have advice or feel the same way?

[Help] How to get enough protein while restricting? Also does losing weight too fast cause cellulite?
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'3.5| 118| 20.6 | -22lbs | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 13:20:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48iedm/how_to_get_enough_protein_while_restricting_also/
---
I'm trying to restrict to max 500 calories a day, usually around 200-300, and it's been going pretty well. However, on mfp I noticed I get less than 10% of the protein I need daily. I feel like protein has so much more calories than vegetables and other things I eat, but how do I add protein in without going over? Also, I've noticed that my cellulite has become more noticeable, is this because I've been losing too much too fast and my skin can't keep up? Helpp

[Discussion] Random question: Did your feet get smaller when you lost weight?
/u/etizbabe [5'6" | 126 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 13:17:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48idvr/random_question_did_your_feet_get_smaller_when/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48idvr/random_question_did_your_feet_get_smaller_when/

[Help] Vascularity help!?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Tue Mar 1 13:12:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48icy0/vascularity_help/
---
I love and want the veiny forearms and hands so badly, but they dont get very pronounced particularly, is it body fat percentage? Or more the low calorie intake that is keeping them smaller and less raised, they are somewhat there during exercise, but barely...

[Goal] I can't wait to be classed as underweight
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Tue Mar 1 12:31:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48i5z4/i_cant_wait_to_be_classed_as_underweight/
---
I have gone from obese (222lbs) last january...to 146lbs now(almost 17, 20.5 bmi)and honestly, i cant wait to be able to say, yeah, i'm underweight.. After being called a fat piece of shit my entire life...i just want to be able to say i'm not classed as that anymore :( about just over a stone to go, and i'll be classified as underweight, maybe i'll get there, maybe not...Who knows really? I dont know when to stop

[Discussion] Literally nothing makes me happier than weighing in a pound lighter than the day before.
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -53.2 lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 12:24:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48i4rl/literally_nothing_makes_me_happier_than_weighing/
---
I look forward to going to bed at night just so I can wake up and weigh myself. Is anyone else actually excited to check their progress? My mood for the day is completely determined by this. I'm happier when I'm down. I'm relieved when it's the same, and I'm depressed when it's up.

Does anyone use happy scale? I'm so obsessed with tracking my weight loss with it. I like to use the 'weight trends' section. I have my goal at losing 3/lb a week, my overall rate is 2.99 and my current rate is 3.4. I'm trying so hard to keep the current rate over 3!!

[Discussion] Any food service folks here?
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Tue Mar 1 11:57:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48i05x/any_food_service_folks_here/
---
So I work as a line cook and I am constantly having to taste food that I plate to see if it needs further seasoning. I really hate it. Constantly having to eat during my 10 hour work day. Any one else have to fight the war in your head about this?

[Rant/Rave] ED has made me a liar
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Mar 1 11:17:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hsne/ed_has_made_me_a_liar/
---
Anybody else deal with guilt from constantly lying to others to hide your restricting? My mom keeps asking if I'm losing weight in a healthy way and if I'm keeping my calories safe. I lie to her. My coworkers ask if I brought lunch. I lie to them. They give me snacks and I say thanks, then walk around the corner and trash them. My friends ask what I'm having for dinner, I tell them I already ate.


It makes me feel really guilty, especially lying to my mother.

[Help] Fasting help?
/u/critical_fluff [5'2 | 110 | 21.10 | -2| F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 11:07:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hqo7/fasting_help/
---
Hello lovelies,
I'm officially done with food. Restricting always ultimately ends in a binge, and my body is starting to hate the process of digestion and makes me miserable. I'm fasting from here on as long as I can to try to get some relief and also hopefully drop past my 110 plateau. Does anyone have tips for how to be safe, what to look for, distractions? Thank you xx

[Discussion] Lynn Chen writes letters to her body (relatable)
/u/sorry_ari
Created: Tue Mar 1 10:56:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hop9/lynn_chen_writes_letters_to_her_body_relatable/
---
http://theactorsdiet.com/2016/02/27/letters-to-my-body/

[Discussion] Plastic surgery as a reward for weight loss
/u/dbishop22
Created: Tue Mar 1 10:40:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hlr8/plastic_surgery_as_a_reward_for_weight_loss/
---
Is there anyone else considering plastic surgery when they get to their goal weight? My husband and I are considering getting pregnant this year, and I'm going to have a bmi of exactly 18.5 *with muscle*, but post-pregnancy, post-breast feeding (thank goodness for breast feeding, burns 10 calories per ounce), I'm considering a breast lift when I get back to pre-pregnancy weight.

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I want to eat so bad...
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 124.4 | 21.77 | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 10:18:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48hhpt/rant_i_want_to_eat_so_bad/
---
Okay so I'm currently at work and I can't stop thinking about food. I want to eat so badly I can taste it in my mouth. Especially junk food idk. I'm just glad I brought no food or money so I wont be able to eat anyways.

I think it's because I've been hitting new LW's everyday because before I hit 115 I wasn't getting any cravings, and 115 was my lowest weight.

Also I've been stressed out and very emotional. My depression is slowly creeping back and I can't stop thinking about how life has no purpose and what will I do when I reach my ugw? I have no goals in life except for that and idk I can see now that it's my depression talking.

I wanna hug someone 慠慠


[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! March 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 1 09:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48h47i/daily_food_diary_march_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for March 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Apple cider vinegar shots
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 140lbs|22|-45lbs|F|28yrs]
Created: Tue Mar 1 08:54:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48h2mk/apple_cider_vinegar_shots/
---
So my coworker and I are going to start taking an apple cider vinegar shot at lunch/instead of lunch. It takes apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, cayane pepper, honey and ginger mixed together and it's supposed to be good for your digestion and curb appetite.

Has anyone else done this and does it work? It's obviously not going to be the same as EC stack, but I like that it's more natural. I've used ACV for a lot of things, I've drank it straight so I know what the taste I'm in for is. It actually sounds kind of good all mixed together.

Will fair after post as I am on the app.

[Rant/Rave] That relief when you overeat/binge and still lose weight
/u/fire-child [5'7" | shame | f]
Created: Tue Mar 1 08:16:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48gwdq/that_relief_when_you_overeatbinge_and_still_lose/
---
I think I ate somewhere from 2000-2500 calories. I'm not sure whether to call it a binge or not cause usually my binges are much larger.

Anyway, yesterday morning I was 18.4 and today I woke up at 18.2 I was so scared it's go up at least a tiny bit at least. Also my period has finally started which I'm happy about cause if I manage not to binge, I always lose more weight than usual that week.

[Rant/Rave] Hello, Old Friend! (Potentially TMI)
/u/TakeItOneDayAtATime [5'2" | CW 110 | 20.84 | -3 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 06:52:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ghn7/hello_old_friend_potentially_tmi/
---
I'm SO HAPPY and I couldn't think of anyone else to tell. I've been restricting pretty well for two weeks (only binged once) but I've only lost a pound since then. The past few days I'd been feeling extra bloated and puffy, and I'm pretty sure I've actually been GAINING weight (too scared to check) despite cutting back on sodium. Well, this morning, I was visited by Aunt Flo, which was 100% unexpected because I have a really messed up cycle. Hopefully this grossness is just hormones and water retention, the numbers on the scale will go down this week. I've been feeling so discouraged, today already felt like a binge day, but now I'm back on track baby!

[Goal] First day of Spring is March 20th.
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 119.8 | 20.97 | -39lbs. | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 06:23:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48gd83/first_day_of_spring_is_march_20th/
---
Today is the first day of a new month, but not just any month. This is the month the gloomy, cold winter turns into glorious spring! It's the season of renewal. What is your goal to reach by the first day of spring?

[Tip] I just discovered a great low cal pancake recipe (170kcal)--Really good if you want something sweet/chocolatey!
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 95 | 17.29 | -10lbs |F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 06:14:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48gbsh/i_just_discovered_a_great_low_cal_pancake_recipe/
---
So pancakes are a big weakness for me-- i love them and syrup but theyre like 200cals a pancake and thats just crazy. BUT i just tested a great low cal/healthy pancake recipe (which makes 4 medium sized pancakes--really fills your plate up in case you have to eat breakfast in front of people) and it was delicious! I had to share for any other people with pancake-weakness. (this is assuming you like bananas...sorry if you dont!)

* half a banana (55)
* tbsp cocoa powder (10)
* 1/4 cup of oats (75)
* 2 egg whites (30)
* pinch of cinnamon (0)

Thats 170 calories for four pancakes! and they filled a dinner plate for me; you could totally eat two and be satisfied for the morning, idk why i even ate all four im actually too full now :/

Theyre a little dense with the oats, so Id recommend spreading the batter out to make thinner cakes. Also you can sub out the cocoa for shredded coconut if youd prefer that. Im sure someone could even find a low cal substitute for the oatmeal if youre so inclined!

Just wanted to share, they definitely satisfied my sweet tooth for me.

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A March 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Mar 1 05:02:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48fx8m/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_march_01_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] Hold me accountable!/Does anyone want to start March fresh?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Mar 1 03:44:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48fpdi/hold_me_accountabledoes_anyone_want_to_start/
---
[removed]

[Help] CONSTIPATED
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 112.2 lb | 21.34 | -15.5| Female]
Created: Tue Mar 1 02:28:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48fho0/constipated/
---
havnt pooped in a month
daily food
oatmeal
turkey
chocolite
eggs or peanut butter
rice cakes
tried prunes
lots of coffee.
taken colace for a weed and barely anything ... those who use laxitivesl.. what works?

[Discussion] Girls who are on the injection / DEPO VERA.
/u/losemore [5'10 | 145 | 20.8 | -44 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 01:13:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48f9hb/girls_who_are_on_the_injection_depo_vera/
---
So last week I had my first contraceptive injection of the depo Vera, and I've noticed the last two days I've been feeling so so hungry!! But it's not that kind of "if I don't eat something I'll pass out" hunger, it's more the "bored" type of hunger. I've been finding it really hard to restrict because of this :(
I know that some of the side effects of the depo vera is weight gain and I can see why now. Girls who are on the injection, have any of you guys experienced increased hunger? I would love to hear some feedback!

Edit* Spelling

[Intro] Intro/Feedback on my GW?
/u/rosepurplesoup [5'10" | 154 | 21.54 | -29 | F]
Created: Tue Mar 1 00:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48f2co/introfeedback_on_my_gw/
---
Hi, I've lurked and commented but this is my first introductory post. :)

I'm not sure my stats are updated in my flair (I'm on mobile) but I'm F/5'10"/161 with 15-20 pounds down. I was underweight my freshman year of high school, then got to about 155. Senior year I was either 160 or 165. Three years later, about two or three months ago, I stepped on the scale and was over 180. That freaked me out completely and absolutely was set on losing weight, not my half assed previous attempts. I am currently fluctuating between 500-1000 cals a day.

Anyway, my current goal is 145, and then reassess when I get there. I don't want to get my loved ones all freaking out on me again, but I would also like to be underweight, as I'm planning to be on a school sports team next year and with 4 hours of workouts a day I'll probably put on some muscle. What do you guys think I should aim for?

[Discussion] Anyone else suffer from anemia?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 23:02:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48euy8/anyone_else_suffer_from_anemia/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Just a happy compliment I revieved
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:55:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48em8t/just_a_happy_compliment_i_revieved/
---
Ive never been able to wear shorts, at least not in the past few years. Well the other day I've realized my thighs aren't as large as they were and I can probually fit into shorts and I did! Motivated me to buy some more! So I bought my first pair of high waisted shorts and I tried on a large (wide hips, which is one thing I love about my body) and the lady at the register goes, you do realize these are a large, right?

I don't think she realized how much that little comment made my day :3

[Rant/Rave] This past week has been hell.
/u/skin_ny [5'9.5" | 113.6 | 16.19 | -44 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:26:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ei5r/this_past_week_has_been_hell/
---
I've been binging (3k calories avg) a day every day since Monday last week. The scale currently reads 120 when I weigh myself in the morning. I have 3 midterms in the next week and I'm scared as hell. I can't gain anymore. It took me so long to lose it all the first time.

How do you get all your shit done without stressing out and eating pastries and crap? I've been so bloated and I feel so helpless. I'm going somewhere for spring break and I just want to be back where I was before I get there. (so I have 10 days...)

Please help if you have any input at all! I already take Vyvanse (which should kill my appetite) but it doesn't seem to matter when I'm this stressed out. I just stuff myself regardless.

[Rant/Rave] I'm down 3lbs and binging less
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:10:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48efy4/im_down_3lbs_and_binging_less/
---
Mobile - no flair

After a scary bout of heavy binging and purging, i made a decision to try to be healthier about my ED. I had started having the teeth nightmares again... crumbling... falling out... so i decided to try restriction, which is something i havent done in about a decade. For some of you, what im doing is probably barely a restriction at all, but as a chronic binge eater... the fact that i have stayed under 1400 calories for 6 of the past 8 days is huge for me. Other than a 2100kcal binge last night after fasting for 24hrs and a super emotional day, i have been slowly ticking down to below 1200. My goal is an average of 1100, just because i am hyper conscious of my low blood pressure and chronic tunnel vision. I cannot risk fainting. I can't. I am happy to say i weighed 127lbs today. Thats ~3 down in 1.5 weeks. I am excited. I am motivated. I am exhausted. I stocked up on loads of sugar free candies, and I'm using MFP to make sure the calories i eat are maximum nutrient and protien and minimum carbs... and im making sure to save room for a glass of wine in my calculations...

My thighs still touch the whole way up. But... at the very top theres just a sliver... there's a light...

[Rant/Rave] I can't believe how amazing primatene is
/u/thindreaming [5'8 | 159.6 | 24.3 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:05:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ef6i/i_cant_believe_how_amazing_primatene_is/
---
I've been taking it for 7 days (I do not plan to take it every day in future though) but omg it's amazing. I have always had troubles with b/p and intense cravings, but I have not had any for this past week. Even while on adderall/vyvanse I would get cravings while not actually feeling hungry, which would lead me to give in sometimes.

But this is amazing <3 its like the first time I've been hopeful that it IS possible for me to break the b/p cycle and manage cravings

just wanted to share!

[Goal] Binge-Free March 2016?!?!?!
/u/loveleigh33 [5'6"| 109.0| 17.66 | -78| F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 21:01:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48eenc/bingefree_march_2016/
---
Join meeeeeeeee!

I want a perfect, proper 31-day month of me not being a [fatass](http://imgur.com/ztMN3Ef).

[Rant/Rave] My mom doesn't get it, fine by me
/u/bellatrixcat
Created: Mon Feb 29 20:44:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ec6p/my_mom_doesnt_get_it_fine_by_me/
---
So when I used to live at home, I would tell my mom I was just limiting my calories as to not scare her shitless. She'd see me only having a coffee in the morning and a chicken breast and salad at night, and I'd always tell her about my recent changes in my physical appearance. I casually said that my intake was around 500 and she did not seem miffed at all. That being said, I'm moving back home soon and I'm excited for people not to be worrying about my eating habits as much. Lucky for me it's easy to restrict at home because I'm not responsible for buying my food so what's there is there and it's usually just fruits and greens, so happy to get back on track soon. :)

[Help] Ugh, having some issues and feel utterly alone. I could google answers, but I just really want the connection & support of you all.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 19:42:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48e2wv/ugh_having_some_issues_and_feel_utterly_alone_i/
---
Ugh. What. The. Everliving. Fuck.

I got on the scale today and it was 3 pounds over my absolute "NO" weight. I've been crawling in my skin all day. I want out. I feel stifled and permanently sloppy and out of control. I haven't been binging per se, but I haven't been the BEST at restriction this past week. I feel like I got too comfortable with working out and eating to "gain muscle" and started to out-eat my workout.

But idk. Water weight? Idk. Period coming? Idk. Idk idk idk. I just feel so large and disgusting.

Basically, I restricted all day today really well. But when I did eat, it was heavily protein. Now my stomach has sharp shooting pains and I'm bloated as fuck. So I did something I only did once ever, I took two 5mg women's laxatives. 2 hours ago.

My question is, when will they hit? When can I feel relief? I feel like my stomach is a bloated, constipated, weight-inducing mass. I want to feel free and light and tiny and flat again. I don't feel ANYTHING but bloat right now. Do laxatives ever NOT work? I have no tolerance to them because last time I took any was well over a year or even two ago.

Idk, just, can someone fill me in on laxative use? I'm an anxious, overwhelmed, fucking disgusting, fucking sloppy, really really alone mess.

[Discussion] I always thought my anorexia was a coping mechanism for my anxiety, but what if it wasn't?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 19:13:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48dykp/i_always_thought_my_anorexia_was_a_coping/
---
I started restricting around age 12 because I discovered one day, while spitting out a mouthful of gummy worms in the bathroom of East Side Mario's, that not eating/controlling my food reduced my severe anxiety. I learned that the less I ate, the lower my anxiety got.

We didn't even know I had a problem with anxiety again until I was 18 when I started really working on the ED behaviours and the anxiety came back full force because I had no coping mechanisms for it without the ED behaviours. Now, at 21, after 2 years of intensive therapy I'm not anxious at all. I've been healthier mentally in the last year or so than I ever thought possible. But now I find myself struggling with the ED thoughts again? I don't have anything I need to cope with, but here I am once again finding myself restricting and over-exercising and obsessing over numbers in my old OCD ways. Am I just destined to be self-destructive?

If anyone has any insight it would be greatly appreciated.

[Rant/Rave] I fell sexy when
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 19:05:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48dxcb/i_fell_sexy_when/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Any advice on what foods to break a fast with?
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 112 | - 19 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 18:22:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48dqq8/any_advice_on_what_foods_to_break_a_fast_with/
---
I had a terrible bingy weekend and probably gained 5 pounds, I kid you not.

I fasted all of today, but tomorrow night I'm having dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. What is the best thing I can eat tomorrow to break the fast? I will not be eating until dinner. Also, I'm a vegan so that restricts some options.

I know this doesn't make sense but I just want it to be the healthiest and most nutritious thing possible but I don't even know how many cals would be okay.

[Rant/Rave] My body scares me
/u/fire-child [5'7" | idek | f]
Created: Mon Feb 29 16:33:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48d9mx/my_body_scares_me/
---
I know this sounds different from what people with ED's usually say about their bodies. I was looking at myself earlier today (keep in mind I don't do it often and my BDD isn't that bad) and it was scaring me. I'm very bony in some places and very soft/pudgy in others. I'm only 18 years old but my boobs are sagging so badly. They got smaller with weight loss but they sagged before my weight loss so the ED isn't to blame.

Bottom line is, when I saw myself in the mirror, I wasn't ashamed or motivated to lose more weight. I was just terrified because I couldn't figure out what I was looking at. My body looks disturbing and deformed and I'm scared to look at it again. I can't tell how much of this is mental illness and how much of it is me just having an ugly body. Sorry, I didn't know who else to tell about this. :(

[Discussion] What do you do to prevent stress eating or distracted eating?
/u/xsprincess [5' 8" | 114.5 | 17.22 | 5.5 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 15:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48d06q/what_do_you_do_to_prevent_stress_eating_or/
---
Let's do another survey!

I've been trying to find which coping mechanisms make it easiest to prevent the compulsion to eat outside of hunger.

Things that work best for me are:

-removing myself from the environment

-crocheting (can't eat if your hands are busy)

-Doing my nails

-Wearing a dress or too tight pants that I want to fit into. I find the dressed up feeling helps me want to stay nice and empty feeling and the pressure of my pants against my belly is a constant reminder of how unnecessary eating would make it bulge more

-last resort: sucking on SweetTarts. 50 cal for eight pieces. I suck on them on the roof of my mouth so my tongue is running over them and they last a really long time. I usually only do a max of four and it takes a long time so it gets me through peak binging times. Also, I don't let myself do it more than once or twice a day.


Je suis douse et gentille. Jaime une bonne blague et la stabilite dans la vie. Jaime visiter les bons restaurants avec mes amis. QEOud8gVJ4
/u/voigrumin
Created: Mon Feb 29 15:25:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48cxlj/je_suis_douse_et_gentille_jaime_une_bonne_blague/
---
http://dirtforyouth.com/22720160226.php#j2zhZv

[Tip] This nifty calculator
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Mon Feb 29 15:06:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ctp6/this_nifty_calculator/
---
[It tells you how much weight you'll lose in how much time!](http://www.healthyweightforum.org/eng/calculators/weight-loss/)

It's really helpful in planning and motivation and setting calorie goals(:

[Help] To eat or not to eat
/u/Arc_cake [5'5 | 149.6 | 25.19 | -6.2 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 15:02:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48csv8/to_eat_or_not_to_eat/
---
Today I got up late and therefore missed breakfast, I was in a rush so i went and got coffee on the way to school but didn't get any food. It's turned into an accidental fasting day but I don't know if I should eat something, I have the shakes but am not hungry. The first day is always the hardest for me so I'm hoping if i don't eat today I can fast for longer, but the shakes are bad and I drank some Gatorade but it hasn't helped much. After fasting for a while though I tend to binge because my body is completely irrational. Should I risk eating and going into a binge or just wait it out??? I do have work soon.

[Tip] [Tip] Arctic Zero
/u/BeautifulApples [5'2" | 105.0lbs | 19.11 | -21.6 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 14:09:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48ci33/tip_arctic_zero/
---
I just discovered some really low calorie ice cream!!! I just found Arctic Zero and I was able to eat a whole cup of ice cream for only 70 calories. It actually tasted good and helped me with my period cravings. I had the cookie shake flavor and it was absolutely delicious.

[Help] Bulking with an ED
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Mon Feb 29 13:45:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48cd98/bulking_with_an_ed/
---
I know i need to gain muscle..i went from obese at 15 yrs old...to now "healthy" bodyweight at 5 11" (146lbs)... Ive been told, i should up my calories and gain some muscle now, but i just cant bring myself to do it, and its killing me, i just want that six pack, and lean muscly figure, but i cant do it...anyone else have the same struggle
http://imgur.com/a/aP3o1 my change...

[Goal] I have a deadline
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Mon Feb 29 13:41:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48cc6y/i_have_a_deadline/
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I'm going on a trip to L.A in May and I desperately want to be beautiful by then. I want to be able to enjoy the beaches and hot weather and not worry about how gross I look. I need to weigh 82 pounds by then. I have 2 months to lose 10.5 pounds.

I have too.

[Thinspo] not me (unfortunately). hot damn.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149.6 | -7 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Feb 29 13:09:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48c4qx/not_me_unfortunately_hot_damn/
---
http://imgur.com/eolF1hB

[Help] Sports game with husband. I'm fasting. Help.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149.6 | -7 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Feb 29 13:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48c33b/sports_game_with_husband_im_fasting_help/
---
First day of fast bc i binged on the weekend partly to get my husband to not be suspicious anymore, he knows i had an ed before i met him and he made little side comments about "you barely ate anything today" or coming home from work and asking if i ate today. getting waaaay too suspicious. so i gained a pound, yuck. but today im going to a sporting event with him and his family, and thats great, but you know how everything there is just grease on top of calories on top of fat, and i dont know what to eat. im vegan, so at least my options are very limited, but if i dont get something im afraid my husband will suspect. what do i do? any advice would be very appreciated

[Discussion] Refinery 29 Article: "This Is What Living With Body Dysmorphic Disorder Is Really Like"
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 12:23:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48bw1x/refinery_29_article_this_is_what_living_with_body/
---
http://www.refinery29.com/2016/02/103892/body-dysmorphic-disorder?utm_content=everywhere&utm_medium=editorial&utm_campaign=160229-body-dysmorphic-disorder

[Tip] [Tip]Congee
/u/kilyia
Created: Mon Feb 29 11:09:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48bikg/tipcongee/
---
I love rice but rice doesn't love me. Usually I would just limit my intake to 1/4 cup cooked/meal but that still adds up and it's hard to get an accurate measurement as the volume that fits into 1/4 cup depends on how tightly packed the rice is.

Congee has solved this problem as it is very high volume but low calorie. It's rice porridge made with 1/4 cup raw short grain rice and 5.75 cups of water. You boil it for 10 mins then simmer the heck out of it for like 1.5-2 hours and wind up with 5.75 cups worth of semi-thick rice porridge. I added a little ginger, some scallions, garlic, and salt, pepper but you can use other spices.

Edit: So it settled a little bit and ended up being 4-6 1/2 cup servings which makes each serving between 30-50 calories each. Adding more water will help dilute it even further and reduce the amount of calories per serving. Still I am pretty thrilled that 200 calories of rice is going to last me 4-6 meals.

[Help] Help! I work in a restaurant
/u/ThinHappiness [5'2"| 125 | 22.9 | -15lb | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 11:07:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48bi84/help_i_work_in_a_restaurant/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 29 09:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48avo2/daily_food_diary_february_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] rant
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 07:27:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48afcu/rant/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] My anti-thinspo today makes me feel bad.
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 124.4 | 21.77 | -35lbs. | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 06:56:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48aaxf/my_antithinspo_today_makes_me_feel_bad/
---
Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't been contributing here as much lately. We went on vacation, and I ate like it! I'm still trying to get back to where I was before I left. Only a couple of pounds to go!

So, last night, I was talking to my best friend on the phone, and he was telling me about his very late dinner he was having. He struggles with his weight, and has periods where he tries really hard to lose, but then lets things get in his way and he falls off the wagon. I try and be supportive while not being too pushy because he really hates that. I was so annoyed though, because he knows I'm trying to lose weight, and he kept talking about all this food he ordered. Fried chicken, fried catfish, french fries, mac and cheese, jalapeno poppers, fried okra, and brownies. It's like he wants to make me eat bad too so he doesn't feel guilty. Honestly though, it's had the opposite effect. I was so disgusted I haven't been able to think about food today. I feel bad using my best friends weight loss struggle as anti-thinspo, but I just can't help it. I'm really grossed out. His excuse was that he read on the internet that eating greasy food would help with his hangover. Yeah, he was hungover from drinking and binge eating the night before. He just lost like 20lbs and at this rate he's going to put it all back on in a couple of weeks. Do you guys have friends like this?

[Rant/Rave] Semi-recovery Rant and Question
/u/ChuushaHime [5'2" | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 06:32:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48a7fu/semirecovery_rant_and_question/
---
I've been semi-recovered (period has returned, not cold all the time anymore, able to eat almost normally, able to digest things much better than before, muscle has returned) for about a year now. I gained weight very quickly due to binge eating because of a breakup and then slowly lost most of it when I stopped binge eating and hovered around a healthy 800-1500 calories a day. I've been having feelings of frustration and anger with my body recently because I'm almost back down to the size/measurements I was when I was very very sick, but withOUT restricting, compulsive exercise, etc. I know that logically it means my metabolism has picked back up and works normally, but I'm angry at my body for not keeping that metabolic rate. I'm angry that I don't have to put forth any effort to be small now, but before my life was hell just to maintain a size not much smaller than I am currently. I'm angry that it was so much work, so much torture, and the payoff was so little. I know that's just biology: your body is starving, so it slows itself down. But I exercised for 3 hours a day on 500calories as opposed to now when I exercise for 30 minutes and eat up to 1500 and the difference is MADDENINGLY slight. I used to get so angry and worked up over people who were healthy and skinny at the same time. Why did they get that luxury when I had to torture myself to look like that? Why do I get that luxury now but I didn't before? Again, I know the logical answer. But I'm furious at my body for slowing down. I'm furious with biology.
/endrant

My question is: as I mentioned in the rant, I'm losing and am almost down to where I was before when I was ill, but in a healthy way. I am very, very tempted to crashdiet to get back down to that size and then stop and see if I can maintain healthfully. But I'm not entirely sure if that's possible. Does anyone have experience with trying a temporary crashdiet after they are "recovered" from an ED? Was it successful or did you slip back into your ED? Do you think it's possible to do this without slipping back into an ED? If I post this anywhere else I know I'm going to get "don't crashdiet it's bad" and "you're obviously not recovered if you're thinking like this" and will only get opposition rather than an actual answer to the question. I am not asking for tips or advice or endorsement, only a genuine answer.

edit: clarifying a statement

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! February 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 29 05:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/489w3k/weekly_stats_update_february_29_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for February 29, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] can you answer some questions?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 29 04:34:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/489sqr/can_you_answer_some_questions/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] I look better in the evening?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Mon Feb 29 01:03:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4896c7/i_look_better_in_the_evening/
---
Anyone else get this? Idk if its just a result of better lighting when its darker, that makes me look more muscular and lean, or just being to the gym, but i swear i look better, in the morning i wake up and look frail and thin, whereas in the evening i actually look somewhat muscly, rather than still just fat?

[Rant/Rave] Why does everyone have such high numbers they "think" I should weigh??
/u/Wantminime [5'1" | 139lbs | 27.5 | -41lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 29 00:58:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4895mj/why_does_everyone_have_such_high_numbers_they/
---
I'm an athlete (MMA type wrestling) and I'm in graduate school surrounded by pre-healthcare professionals....aka, people who should know a thing or two about weight.... And EVERYONE who asks me what my goal weight is super quick to tell me that 100 pounds is far too low. My real goal is 90! assuming I don't decide to bulk on muscle back to 100.

I'm 5'1.5 but I've started telling people I'm 5'0 just so they'll give me a few more pounds. Even with that, they say I shouldn't go below 125-130. That's only 15-20 pounds less than I am right now! I can still grab fistfuls of fat on my (unslouched) stomach, not to even mention my thighs. I seriously don't understand. Do my clothes hide the weight that well?? I'm a 4/6 (27/28) in what I think are non-vanity sized clothes (fucking 0-2 at old navy, they're crazy) and I try to dress well, but I'm only okay at it. Bad photos, but the most recent I currently have: http://imgur.com/a/kOeh6. I was like 148 in the underwear pic, but look at it! That's not a body that's 15 pounds overweight. That's like 50.

When I tell them by BMI my goal is in the middle of a healthy range, they tell me that BMI is crap and I shouldn't listen to it.

Maybe I should have kept how much I weigh a secret when I started losing weight in November. But that's hard to do when wrestling is about weight classes.


Ugh! /rant

[Help] Really need someone to talk to about my issues surrounding food and self harm...
/u/cat_turd_collector
Created: Sun Feb 28 22:25:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/488lpu/really_need_someone_to_talk_to_about_my_issues/
---
I am a 22 year old male to female trans woman and ever since I started transitioning I have developed worse and worse eating habits. I really need to get this out because I feel that I have become more and more erratic and my self harm is getting worse.


I started my transition in July 2014 after my partner of 3 years committed suicide. I knew I was trans before then but never really took transitioning seriously. After she died I focused very hard on transitioning. At this time (July-November 2014) I was about 175 pounds (5'10"). It wasn't until December 2014 when I started passing regularly and really began hating my body. I started cutting down my calories until I was only eating about 400 a day and started cutting more and more if I over ate. I lost about 20 pounds over the course of a couple months and got my weight down to 155 (February 2015). At this point my body looked okay compared to what it was at but I just focused more and more on the "problem areas". For the past year I have been slowly losing weight (currently 150) but self harming and cutting a lot because I'm not restricting like I was. I purchased Primatene this past friday and I felt like I could easily go all day without eating anything. I know I will end up losing a lot of weight quickly like I did last time but I have destroyed my arms and my legs in the process because of the cutting and my weight loss will never be "good enough".



I'm at the point where even though I have never been this skinny in my life I feel fatter than ever. I self harm a few times a week as punishment for eating. I really don't know what to do. When all my issues roll into themselves at the same time (anxiety, depression, trauma from witnessing ex's suicide, parental abuse) I self harm. Eating to me has become synonymous with pain and torture. Yet I feel like a piece of shit because I'm eating and not thin enough. I don't feel like any of my struggles have merit because I'm not extremely skinny and I don't have disordered eating habits and I'm just somehow "making it up".

[Rant/Rave] He left me, and I had my first successful fast day.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 28 21:31:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/488cyx/he_left_me_and_i_had_my_first_successful_fast_day/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Ranting
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|142.6 lbs|22.7|-11.2 lbs|F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 21:21:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/488bf0/ranting/
---
So for the past month I've been trying to be happier. I thought that somehow, I was worthy of health and happiness. After some nudging from some friends, I decided to get help and made an appointment with the school psychiatrist. She was really lovely and helpful. But I can't stop thinking about all this shit.
My weight. How fat I am. How I've lost control.
Part of me is telling me I'm weak and I don't deserve happiness until I'm back in control and losing weight again.
I'm just really sad cause it's constantly a war in my head. Do I get better? Do I say fuck it?
When I started eating more, my studying and grades improved. I was pleasant to be around. But I so desperately want to be back into control.
Sorry for the venting. I just needed to get this out of me

[Rant/Rave] I wish I had a friend that really understood me
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 97.0 | 17.66 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 20:44:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4885yg/i_wish_i_had_a_friend_that_really_understood_me/
---
I wish I had someone I could go hangout with who wouldn't push me to go out at bingey junk food places. Someone who could agree to hang out for the day on zero calorie tea and maybe a 300 calorie splurge at a hipstery salad bar.

I wish I could talk to someone in person about how restricting is hard or about how I love feeling thinner without them getting worried or upset. I wish I had someone in person who would go out on walks or runs with me for fun instead of staying in all day and playing video games.

I want someone in real life to 100% get me, get having an ED, without sending me to a doctor for it. Someone who can say "I know, me too".

I don't have that. When I can't sleep at night thinking about how much food is or isn't in my stomach, or I'm focusing on how my hipbone feels pressing into the mattress, or planning my meals for tomorrow, I don't have anyone I can just late night text about it.

But, you guys are here. This sub is the closest thing I have and I love you all for it. You're all the most wonderful support anyone could ask for.

That's all. Couldn't sleep. Didn't have anyone to text to about this. Thank you.

[Discussion] Would doing a 3-day fast every week be too much/how often do you fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 28 20:15:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4881qz/would_doing_a_3day_fast_every_week_be_too_muchhow/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] The scale just told me I lost 4.6 lbs in 3 days
/u/xsprincess [5' 8" | 114.5 | 17.22 | 5.5 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 19:35:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/487vzn/the_scale_just_told_me_i_lost_46_lbs_in_3_days/
---
Incoming, long ass post.

What the actual fuck. I went to the doctor last tuesday and thursday and I was the highest I've been in my entire life. 120. both days. Exactly. Those two numbers on the end just look so round and bulging. Completely freaked me out.


So, I started calorie counting again. I hadn't been letting myself for a long time because it's easy to slip back into old habits when I do, even if my calorie limit is high enough to maintain. I wanted to get down around ten pounds before spring break in a couple weeks so I'm less likely to spend the entire time wearing clothes on the beach incase someone mistakes me for a manatee. MFP's weight estimations made me think I wouldn't be able to make it and I was positive I'd be the same weight or lose a pound. But, I just walked to the gym to weigh myself and it said 115.4?!? I zero-ed it out to double check and YES


I'm excited that I was able to start off strong, but I'm having a really hard time not bingeing right now. I guess I'm used to food as reward, but I bought a bag of chocolate covered pretzels and bought brownie mix to ask my friend to make them tonight. They are literally sitting in bed with me and I'm writing this post to

1. not binge, please god help me not fuck up.
2. wonder how that changed so fast




[Discussion] Do ya'll count by net calories consumed or total calories consumed?
/u/xsprincess [5' 8" | 114.5 | 17.22 | 5.5 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 18:35:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/487nei/do_yall_count_by_net_calories_consumed_or_total/
---
Let's run a poll!

I'm not sure which I want to go by, net is tempting since MFP calculates it for you. Have you noticed it overestimating your burned calories?

[Rant/Rave] My husband posted a video of me eating online.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 18:16:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/487kkr/my_husband_posted_a_video_of_me_eating_online/
---
Exactly what it says. We went to Panera for dinner and I heard a loud bing from his phone and mid-mouthful of salad I look into the camera and scowl.

So it's a funny video in its own right but it's me *eating.*

And he laughed his ass off and posted it to Instagram and Facebook. It's been an hour and he's still laughing. A bunch of people have already liked or commented on it. Every time he looks at me he laughs and it makes me want to cry.

Bad enough that I'm stuffing food into my mouth but on top of that I've got an unwashed, makeupless face, dirty hair, and my glasses on.

He knows I'm super self conscious but he thought it was the funniest fucking thing and just *had* to post it.

I want to die. I want to vomit and die.

[Tip] New subreddit that some of you might be interested in.
/u/allthatyouhave
Created: Sun Feb 28 17:33:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/487doj/new_subreddit_that_some_of_you_might_be/
---
http://reddit.com/r/ARFID

[Help] Tolerance to EC stack?
/u/zomboooo [5'7| 122 | -30 | NB]
Created: Sun Feb 28 17:28:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/487co5/tolerance_to_ec_stack/
---
Hey ya'll, I'm back with another EC stack question. Is it possible to build a tolerance to an EC stack? If so, when does this happen and how to get over it? Thanks for the help and I'm sorry if this question is dumb.

A very honest girl. I like to learn and study all new. My friends.. 9Lalmm5zI
/u/tinggentpep
Created: Sun Feb 28 16:44:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/487160/a_very_honest_girl_i_like_to_learn_and_study_all/
---
http://mail-tips.com/35320160226.php#79pEupvqiO

[Help] Need advice and support
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 28 16:10:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/486p0m/need_advice_and_support/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I will help you relax and forget. Online video chat. Free registration. Z9ksozsu8Ki
/u/inenju
Created: Sun Feb 28 16:02:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/486nct/i_will_help_you_relax_and_forget_online_video/
---
http://travelpersona.com/10820160226.php#bmfMTe3

[Rant/Rave] my boyfriend said he liked my hipbones
/u/dogfucker_420 [5'6" | 125 | 20.26 | -35# | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 15:55:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/486l6l/my_boyfriend_said_he_liked_my_hipbones/
---
last night i was laying on our bed at an angle that made one of my hipbones really prominent. i put my hand on it and started feeling it for no reason (i know thats normal to you guys), but my boyfriend moves my hand away and puts his hand on it. i ask him in a joking way, "do you think my hipbones are sexy?" and he responds with yes.


i thought he was joking at first and i ask him "really?" a couple times, but nah. he said he likes them. it made me feel a weird mix of emotions and i started thinking back to when i was at my heavier weight-if he ever thought i was fat etc.


today and yesterday i had the day off and he kind of pressured me into eating something before he left for work. its irritating but in a sweet way, i know hes just looking out for me.


sorry this is so ramble-y, its not really a rant but oh well. i have another reason to get thinner.

[Goal] Hit a new LW...
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 111.8 | 19.57 | -29 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 15:29:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/486dif/hit_a_new_lw/
---
So yestetday I hit 115, which is the lowest weight I've been. I felt good but also a bit disappointed because my gw for yesterday was 112 but last weekend messed everything up. I almost messed it all up again Friday night but I managed to stop a binge and purged what I did eat. That has been my first purge in months... I hate purging, which is why I stopped and tried to eat normally (fail...).

Since I hit that weight I wore the new dress I bought for when I reached a new lw. It felt really well (except my boobs are now non-existant).

My family was invited to eat at their friends house so I had to go. I ate the food, trying to eat as much salad as I could without it being suspicious.

Today I weighed 115.2 so I'm soooo glad I didnt gain more than .2 lbs. Which hopefully will be gone by tomorrow. My mom made me eat breakfast today because she's noticing the weight loss so I had to eat that as well. Its so frustrating now I have to start being more careful and pretend to eat more around her. Of course they dont care about my eating habits when I look like a whale but once its noticeable a little bit suddenly they care.

Im afraid for the number I'll see on the scale tomorrow, but either way this week has to be full of more restricting. My gw for next Saturday is 110lbs and I'm gonna try my hardest to reach it. I have to.

Extra: When will my thighs stop looking like elephant legs? They make me cry and they've always been extra big no matter how much weight I lose :( This really scares me.

[Goal] So freaking excited
/u/thininsp
Created: Sun Feb 28 15:14:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4868uj/so_freaking_excited/
---
So I haven't had my height measured since I was in my early 20s, probably 20 or 21. I've been going by that height my whole life since. We were measuring the kids today and for kicks my husband measured me (with a level so we didn't tilt the ruler, etc). I'm am taller than I thought! Which means that as of this morning's weigh in, I am at a healthy BMI for the first time in two years!!!

Its so booring to be alone every night.. Let's play with me here* FpvksuJ
/u/verslanpost
Created: Sun Feb 28 15:12:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48681k/its_so_booring_to_be_alone_every_night_lets_play/
---
http://lancotanjorepowercompanyltd.com/17820160226.php#OhJyKJSnC

[Goal] Under 50kg, new LW
/u/tusmoerkestraaler [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Sun Feb 28 14:18:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/485qv3/under_50kg_new_lw/
---
I know it's not particularly impressive... but considering how I've been overweight since I was 6 years old I'm actually a little big proud. I've lost 2.2kg (~4.9 lbs) since last week, although that's mostly from losing post-binge bloating. I'm still a little confused as to how I'm actually under 50kg - I did binge twice this week - but I'm still vey happy.

Not only am I under 50kg for the first time in a year, but I'm also at a new LW by about 1/2 a kilo (1lb). I've also noticed that some jeans that I couldn't physically fit into at the start of January are now starting to become a little loose.

Overall... I've had a good day, with all of this, and I'm happy, especially since I was actually expecting to put *on* weight - my last binge was only on Thursday.

So, yeah. I'm pleased. How's your Sunday been?

Hey, im lonely and bored. Make my night, sweety. Hurry up! Bobbies777 UuB7saTh1
/u/rasingtho
Created: Sun Feb 28 13:49:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/485gn9/hey_im_lonely_and_bored_make_my_night_sweety/
---
http://southamptonphysio.com/49720160226.php#C8CZ4rzSxq

[Rant/Rave] Ridiculous Fucking Insecurities.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 28 13:07:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4856fa/ridiculous_fucking_insecurities/
---
[deleted]

Punish me. Do with me whatever you want. Online video chat. Free registration. mxisPM10n0i
/u/newwayjud
Created: Sun Feb 28 12:44:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/484z2s/punish_me_do_with_me_whatever_you_want_online/
---
http://nopainbk.com/27220160226.php#xDn5MqJ

[Discussion] Bronkaid/ephedrine in Canada??
/u/Arc_cake [5'5 | 149.6 | 25.19 | -6.2 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 12:25:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/484s33/bronkaidephedrine_in_canada/
---
So I know bronkaid is limited in the US, but from what I've researched it's not in Canada?? I can buy ephedrine online, but idk about in stores? Would I still need to be 18? Can anyone who's from Canada help??

[Discussion] Fasting update and a question (especially for people who have recovered, but anyone obviously can comment)
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 12:08:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/484oha/fasting_update_and_a_question_especially_for/
---
Hey everyone! First the update:

When I first introduced myself, I was on day 3 of my fast and it was a struggle and a half. I was hungry. Really hungry. And I was very tempted to break the fast. But as of this morning, I've surpassed a week on nothing but water, lemon water, tea, antidepressants and multivitamins and I'm so proud of myself. I'm a week and a day away from beating my personal best of 14 days, and at this point, 30 days seems like a breeze. Part of me really wants to go to true hunger, but I think it would be wise for me to wait till next time. I've been weighing myself weekly, and as of this morning, I'm down from 175lbs to 159.9lbs!! This is the lowest I've been since last winter, and while I'm not anywhere near my goal weight, this is significant progress. I've almost lost more in a week than I did over the last fast I did where I lost 17 lbs over 2 weeks, but I know I gain about 5lbs of water weight once I start eating again...it won't be fat though, so I guess I'm ok with that.

Now for the question, but first a disclaimer: I'm in no way asking for a diagnosis, or whatever the opposite of a diagnosis is. That's between me and my therapist (if I choose to see her again...and me saying "hey, how have you been? oh me? i've just been fasting for the past week or so to lose weight no big deal" will prompt her to be like "do you need to go back to the hospital? 'cause you need to eat ok." and I'm not in the mood.) and getting a diagnosis over the internet is risky at best. But here's the question...or rather the issue: Does anyone else feel like they're faking their disorder because they don't hate who they are? Like for me, if my soul was outside of my body, just floating around in the ether, I'd be fine. Even if I were in a skinnier body, I'd be happier with the mind body connection or whatever, but at this weight, I hate my body. I know I'm doing a disservice to myself being this weight, and I know my inner personality is blocked by fat. I've been confident at this weight before, but I know I can be more, I can do more when I'm lighter. Plus, I kinda wanna see how light I can get. I know eating a little or fasting doesn't necessarily make an eating disorder, neither does being underweight, but that's where I want to be because I feel like I can focus on my soul...if that makes sense. Honestly I kinda don't want a body, I feel like it's holding me back...there are things I want to do and accomplish and I don't necessarily want to die, but a body I feel is too much.... that may be a discussion for another time. The reason I want to hear from people who have recovered is because I "got better" once upon a time, and I sorta kinda lost weight the healthy way (lies I was eating like 1000 cal/day and exercising every day lol), but now I'm back to fasting and after the fast is broken, I plan to do intermittent fasting and start running again. The thing is, during that time I built my confidence, and now...yeah here I am.

God I'm rambling. Sorry, I know this isn't a diary.

**TL;DR:** The fast is going great, but I feel like I'm faking my eating disorder because I feel my soul is ok but my body is shit wheeee.

Anyway. Questions, comments, concerns?

[Rant/Rave] My parents visited this weekend
/u/elbowrodeo [5'10" | 137 | 19.16 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 11:29:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/484hfi/my_parents_visited_this_weekend/
---
Ugh, my parents were here this weekend and I had to eat SO much... We went out to eat three times and even though I tried to order low calorie things and not finish them, I still was way over every day. And now my fridge is PACKED with leftovers and food they bought me. I'll feel guilty if I throw it out, but I hate having to look at it and I need to get back on track.

The good news is that my boyfriend gets home this coming weekend! I haven't seen him for eight weeks so I'm so excited <3 I guess that's extra motivation to be as skinny as possible for when he gets back! Anyways, thanks for reading my rant, you guys are great!

[Help] Can someone explain EC stacks to me?
/u/fire-child [5'7" | idek | f]
Created: Sun Feb 28 10:40:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48488b/can_someone_explain_ec_stacks_to_me/
---
I want to try this. I know about the Bronkaid, what else do you take and when? How often etc.

[Discussion] Any males on here?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Sun Feb 28 10:28:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4845jh/any_males_on_here/
---
Just wondering, do you guys also aim for the stick thin figure, or more the ripped, defined look? I just want to have low enough bodyfat for an epic sixpack, whether im stick thin then, idm, i already have a pretty significant thigh gap, but i like it

My ex - whore, nickname: Vendeta. EgMbpN1
/u/tablingroth
Created: Sun Feb 28 10:19:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4842ej/my_ex_whore_nickname_vendeta_egmbpn1/
---
http://uavclass.com/47720160226.php#ae8AmN8hfPi

Here lonely girl looking for fun with the guys abefjQivB
/u/procarur
Created: Sun Feb 28 09:41:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/483nx9/here_lonely_girl_looking_for_fun_with_the_guys/
---
http://hedefkariyer.com/1720160226.php#Oov5EISdZLO

[Discussion] What were your last couple of periods like before you got amenorrhea?
/u/LiteralMangina [5'7" | 100lbs | 15.61 | -25 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 09:15:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/483hc0/what_were_your_last_couple_of_periods_like_before/
---
My period used to come every 3-4 weeks and last 6-7 days. It's been like that for years.

In September there was 25 days from the start of one period til the start of the second one. Then 60 days til number three. 35 days til number four, and then 44 days until my most recent. The app, which is usually spot on within a few days, predicts that my next one will be 46 days after the start of my last period. They've also gone down from 6-7 days to 4-5. I am not on any form birth control.

So, people that have had amenorrhea: we're your periods normal before you started skipping them or did they taper off like mine seems to be?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 28 09:02:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/483elu/daily_food_diary_february_28_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


Come and you will not regret it. Free video chat. 0kIPGkZm
/u/esnaige
Created: Sun Feb 28 08:37:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4834fm/come_and_you_will_not_regret_it_free_video_chat/
---
http://hope-america.com/35020160226.php#luTViEFfzPr

What about the show this night? Only registered and 4VLw38cz1fp
/u/tidisig
Created: Sun Feb 28 07:59:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/482reb/what_about_the_show_this_night_only_registered/
---
http://cloudriot.com/220160226.php#aasmDkl

[Help] My best friend told my teacher in school about my ED [help/rant]
/u/QuokkasAreCute [5'3" | 132 | 23.30 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 06:29:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/48207a/my_best_friend_told_my_teacher_in_school_about_my/
---
Little Backround info: I first developed an eating disorder when I was 13 years old. One year later I got diagnosed with depression, so I decided to go into recovery and told the doctor at our school about my ED and that I cut myself. She then was obligated to tell everything to my "class teacher" (a teacher who is head of the class, idk if your school has/had something like that).

Now I'm here, a stereotypical 17 year old with an ED who relapsed in November. I told my best friend about my relapse one month ago, as I desperately needed someone to talk to. I was bingeing and purging like crazy and I thought my best friend could give me tips on how to stop bingeing since she suffered from Bulimia for 5 years (she's clean now).

She gave me some tips, but I failed to stick to them and she got angry at me and accused me of "not even trying". Yesterday I called her and just wanted to chat about casual stuff, when she mentioned that she told our teacher that I relapsed. I didn't get furious or so because I knew that she was concerned about me and couldn't help me by herself. But then she proceeded to tell me that "I was doing this for attention" because if I wasn't, I wouldn't have told her about my relapse. I then told her that I didn't want to talk about my problems with her anymore since it always results in a fight and with her getting angry. I don't want her getting involved with my problems because *I don't want help*. Did I want help against my bingeing problem? Yes. Did I want help against my ED? No. Because if I "lose" my ED, I'll gain weight again.

I told her that I wanted to hang up. She replied with: "If you hang up on me, you'll also end our friendship". During this awful conversation, without any warning, the call just ended. Idk why. One of us probably accidentely ended the call. Well, I thought that she did and she thought that I did. Her response that she texted me: "Now it's settled! I'm still going to help you no matter what but you finally lost me as friend".

I don't know what to do now. I'm going to see her and the teacher tomorrow. My teacher will talk with me and probably inform my parents. But I don't want to recover. I need to lose this weight! I'm happier when I lose weight. I finally have something that I can look forward to: the scale in the morning when it shows me a lower number. I'm happier now with my ED, than without it because it gave me purpose to live and it's called weight loss. That is my way of measuring my worth. And now I'm questioning my friendship with my "best friend" (idk if I should call her a friend anymore). I'm a such a fuck up. Sorry for the teenage drama.

**TL;DR: My best friend told my teacher who knows that I once suffered from an ED about my relapse. During a phone call my friend got angry and ultimately ended our friendship because I refuse to get help. But I don't want to recover and now I don't know what to do because my teacher will talk with me about my ED and I'm afraid of that conversation.**




I can not sleep nights and only helps show on camera, reg and ofc tGLN1Fzd
/u/teodeca
Created: Sun Feb 28 06:19:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/481y3u/i_can_not_sleep_nights_and_only_helps_show_on/
---
http://arizonasfamilylawyer.com/24920160226.php#c0bxoG

How about free webcam show? For registred and only.. SkskLlzn
/u/potora
Created: Sun Feb 28 06:07:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/481uwb/how_about_free_webcam_show_for_registred_and_only/
---
http://heelsforhoofs.com/33620160226.php#auCha2

[Rant/Rave] Good news and some minor bad news...
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW104|18.38|-34|F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 01:08:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/480vr9/good_news_and_some_minor_bad_news/
---
As we all know, going out to eat can be a challenge, but going out to eat at an italian restaurant is near impossible! Butter and cheese and oil on everything, not too mention everything is served with bread and pasta and crap. I somehow managed to not touch the fattening cheesey bread appetizer my family ordered and order something reasonable. I got a salad (lettuce and tomato with cheese which the waitress forgot to take off :/ and balsamic dressing on the side) and cooked carrots. I ate 1 slice of bread to avoid seeming to picky or weird but I stayed within my calorie range for the day! It tough, because I wasn't able to save up calories earlier in the day (going out to eat was not in my plan!) but everything worked out!

2nd piece of good news- I am officially 104 Ib, so my flair needs to be updated. I finally had the chance to weigh myself without food in my belly and after I went to the bathroom. I had a sweatshirt and undies on but at least I wasn't fully dressed (can't weigh nude, scale is in parent's bathroom). I had a scare a few days ago when the scale kept spitting out weird numbers... like 110 and 111, but then switching back to 104... but its working fine now and I weighed myself multiple times to be sure haha.

Now the bad news... I ate about 300 cal in the morning and came home that night without eating all day and not even the slightest bit hungry, but then I ate anyways :c ...I ate because I got nervous and ugh. I could have had so little calories and been fine but nooooo. I didn't go over my calories for the day but still, could have been nice to be at such a low number....oh well.

[Rant/Rave] Hunger Strike. Rant/vent
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 00:58:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/480urk/hunger_strike_rantvent/
---
Mobile sorry

Also maybe dont read this because it is emotional nonsense.

Ive been doing well with not binging. Ive been staying under 1500 calories a day which is hard for me. Ive been binging pretty consistently for months now.

Anyways... i was making us a healthy-ish dinner and he said something awful and so i wound up home alone. I didn't eat. My stomach is growling. He's going to be back soon and part of me is refusing to eat the meal i made us because 1) i kind of want him to worry, he knows my ED history 2) im so angry that i feel like if i ate I'd be making a false statememt that i was feeling less angry and i want him to know im still super angry... 3) im kind of feeling powerful at the idea of being on a hunger strike and 4) i still feel fat and disgusting

Please note, the fight had nothing to do with food or my weight but my ongoing depression and how he didnt want me to go with him to some party that i would inevitably ruin (according to him)

Fuck him. And fuck my dinner. And fuck this. I want to scare him so bad right now but im so fat that it would take weeks of this to even begin to freak him out but i want him to feel it now every time he fucking looks at me. Cant see how depression works? I will give you physical fucking evidence.


Argh sorry i am just so angry right now.

[Thinspo] "Feet Together;Thighs Apart." doodle
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Sun Feb 28 00:04:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/480oyd/feet_togetherthighs_apart_doodle/
---
http://imgur.com/a/6ehbt

[Rant/Rave] I just need to vent
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Sat Feb 27 23:27:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/480ksc/i_just_need_to_vent/
---
I'm so sick if not feeling good enough. I'm so over feeling worthless and belittled for everything I do. I'm on the verge of tears at work because I'm fucking starving my self so I can finally feel worth something. This is the only thing I have control over. I hate guys. I hate my family I'm on the verge of hating my friends. After work and school all I do is take clozopams and sleep my fucking life away to numb everything until I have to go to work or school

Fuck this. I hate who I am.

[Rant/Rave] I did it! I bought Bronkaid!
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 186 | 30.97 | -64 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 21:28:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4805rl/i_did_it_i_bought_bronkaid/
---
Well my BF did for me... We bought it with a Walmart gift card too the cashir totally thought we where weird, especially since he was like "what's in it that's controlled? Can you like use it to make drugs?" -_- but I have it and he doesn't care (I have legit asthma, here's to hoping 2 birds 1 stone).

It was posted on a large poster that you had to ask the pharmacy for it, came to just under $7 after tax.

Sorry for the long rambly random stuff, I have wanted it for awhile I was just to chicken to get it.


[Discussion] What thoughts do you have that make you want to restrict?
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 20:42:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47zzts/what_thoughts_do_you_have_that_make_you_want_to/
---
Do you ever tell yourself something that instantly makes your appetite disappear?

For me it's thinking about getting poor marks at school, remembering what my brother said when he teased me, etc.. sometimes I intentionally "trigger" myself by revisiting bad memories.. idk.

[Discussion] I ate so much today... Kind of disappointed in myself. Maybe I will do better tomorrow, though!
/u/spicy_hippoplankton [5'7" | 106 lbs | 16.6 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 20:20:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47zwyo/i_ate_so_much_today_kind_of_disappointed_in/
---
I had a whole frozen pizza... Granted, it was a smaller thin crust one and was about 900 calories. And I have been restricting calories a lot lately. Then I also had two more slices of pizza again! Ugh. Totaling about 1300 calories. So much food. I don't really purge. Not my thing because of the side effects that come along with it. But I do tend to go for a long time without eating or with eating very little for a long time. I have lost about 40 pounds since August.


If I have a better day tomorrow will it make up for today? Agh. Have you guys messed up similarly?

[Rant/Rave] I'm gonna do better
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 19:27:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47zpq8/im_gonna_do_better/
---
Okay, so last friday was my cakeday. the whole week before it I've been binging like crazy. Like I've seen everyone I know and everyone was like 'hey let's go out to dinner and have drinks'. Absolutely terrible. But whatever, I just turned 25 and I'm only gonna take control off myself. This is my fucking body and I'm just gonna do whatever to it. So I'm only seeing it like a challenge. From now on I'm just gonna do as my body pleases. And that means I've just made me tea in stead of a fucking peanut butter sandwich. This is fucking me time. Fuck you and your fat and carbs. I don't have to eat my cake because it's my birthday. Please lovelies, help me keep this thought. I'm gonna be thin.

[Rant/Rave] I wish it was as socially acceptable to under eat by 1500 calories as it is to overeat by 1500 calories!
/u/silverdiscipline
Created: Sat Feb 27 19:18:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47zojj/i_wish_it_was_as_socially_acceptable_to_under_eat/
---
I just need to vent right now. I'm so fucking tired of people fucking celebrating gluttony. I'm just so done. GET AN EXTRA LARGE PIZZA STUFFED ON THE INSIDE WITH CHEESE! GREASY BACON TO CLOG YOUR ARTERIES! SPLURGE ON THIS LARD! IT'S FUN TO SHOVEL IT IN YOUR FACE! IT'S A TREAT! IT'S OKAY! ENJOY YOURSELF! LIVE A LITTLE! WHO CARES IF YOU HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE OR DIABETES OR CAN'T WALK UP STEPS BECAUSE BEING UNHEALTHY IS FUNNNNNNNNNNN!

But if you try to fast for two goddamned meals in a row people lose their fucking minds. Do you really, honestly, believe that health is a spectrum such that overeating thousands and thousands of fucking calories is "Just a little bit bad, teehee!" but if you skip food for one fucking day your spooky skeleton will come out and you'll die?

Uggggggggh



[Rant/Rave] Hallo I am drunk
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 113.8 | 19.16 | -42.2 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 19:06:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47zmvk/hallo_i_am_drunk/
---
I don't know why I'm posting this but hello everyone I love you a lot, each and every one of you. I told my boyfriend I wanted to be 90 lbs and he was like "maybe 98???" Lol so at least I don't have to worry about that shit. Fuck. Like he wasn't really even concerned. I don't think he gets BMI šŸ˜‚

I keep eating too much but I'm not even upset because I know I'll get there eventually. No rush. I'm gonna be 90 at least.

Yuuuuup. Hope everyone's day/night is going well!

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] I can't stop thinking about how ugly my body is :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 27 18:57:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47zlmn/rant_i_cant_stop_thinking_about_how_ugly_my_body/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] My definition of "a days worth of food" has changed.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 16:36:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47z0q6/my_definition_of_a_days_worth_of_food_has_changed/
---
Just something that struck me today while looking up the calorie content of a bagel. It ran up close to 400 after counting the cream cheese that would have been on it and I had the thought:

"That's an entire day of calories"

And it hit me weird. My husband and I used to scope out calorie counts for resteraunts menus and I would say that for the 1500+ calorie salads or 3000 calorie appetizer plates.

I wonder when it changed.

[Discussion] How realistic/dysmorphic is your view of yourself? Anyone here successful at getting more realistic?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 102.8 | 18.71 | -12.2 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 16:13:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47yx9x/how_realisticdysmorphic_is_your_view_of_yourself/
---
Lately I've been thinking that I want to work on the dysmorphia piece of this. I measured myself today and I'm a good .5-1.5" smaller everywhere than I ever have been before, even at my previous lowest weight, but I feel like I was so much slimmer then. That's nuts, like, clothes from then that were goal clothes for the longest are falling off me now. I feel awful and huge even though objectively I know I'm pretty petite (although by no means super thin yet), and I'm within 10 lbs of what has been my goal for my entire adult life. And yet I'm super dissatisfied and I'm finding new things to hate about myself every day. I am really bothered by this, like, I just want to enjoy actually making progress not just make myself crazier!

I just want to be pleasingly skinny, not extreme. I don't want to *want* to be extreme but I think I'm heading to that headspace? I can't afford therapy atm...I guess I'm just looking for perspective, like, how to be happy but also stay motivated. Maybe they're mutually exclusive?

This is probably a ridiculous question, ugh.

[Rant/Rave] Pissed at Myself. Exam tips?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 27 16:03:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47yvm2/pissed_at_myself_exam_tips/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Suggestion: weekly art therapy post?
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 15:52:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ysvc/suggestion_weekly_art_therapy_post/
---
It seems that we have some interest in creative journaling, art, poetry, etc... Would anyone be interested in a weekly art post?

Myself, I draw and paint and journal... Some or actually, most of my art is dark and well I think some only you lovelies would understand or appreciate. I also have a few great books filled with art therapy topics and assignments. Some specifically for ED, some for trauma, some just for fun.

Anyone else interested in sharing or participating in some art therapy ???

[Discussion] What do you like to do in your free time/weird habits/guilty pleasures?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 27 14:30:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47y50h/what_do_you_like_to_do_in_your_free_timeweird/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Question about weight/primatene?
/u/thindreaming [5'8 | 159.6 | 24.3 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 14:27:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47y447/question_about_weightprimatene/
---
Hi all,
I started taking Primatene on Monday I weighed in at 168. I've been taking 2-3 throughout the day and eating significantly less (but not tracking cals) and today I weighed in at 159.5. Could this all just be water?? I don't look any different, and I feel even more bloated today because I got my period. I even tried moving the scale to different places in my house in case it was an uneven surface - same weight every time. I'm confused!

edit: I guess my question is how likely is this just water/bloat vs actual progress?

[Goal] i've lost 50 lbs!!!
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 13:55:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47xyfu/ive_lost_50_lbs/
---
today i'm 161.8, so under 162, i started at 212. that means I HAVE LOST 50 LBS!

i could not have gotten this far without the support of this sub. really and truly. thank you all so much!

on to the next 50! :D

[Discussion] So my aunt past away
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Feb 27 13:12:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47xr5o/so_my_aunt_past_away/
---
I have eaten around 3500, mostly candy, pizza. I feel so terrible. God, fuck me.

[Goal] OOTD: Spring is right around the corner, and I'm getting ready. :o
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 27 13:03:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47xpt3/ootd_spring_is_right_around_the_corner_and_im/
---
http://imgur.com/lkYhyox

I have met the man of my dreams and we are embarking on a life together. Thank you so much for a great service. fru2sL
/u/sunwildmen
Created: Sat Feb 27 12:50:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47xnlx/i_have_met_the_man_of_my_dreams_and_we_are/
---
http://utv-rental.com/dimbilim.php#vbmiV4fdF

I met a lovely man on this site approx. 2 years ago. It has taken a while getting to know each other. However, we seem to be there now. fyHl074a
/u/marmizin
Created: Sat Feb 27 12:39:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47xkuy/i_met_a_lovely_man_on_this_site_approx_2_years/
---
http://time31.com/56820160226.php#pAP0aTxHGW

[Goal] They fit!
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 115| 21.79| F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 11:48:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47x5wc/they_fit/
---
On mobile; can't flair

I have a pair of purple shorts that used to fit so tight. Even just a few pounds heavier they showed my buttcheeks. But now I can wear them just fine with no cheek action!

Probably means I'm losing my butt but whatever! It means I'm getting smaller!


[Help] Taking a break from caffeine?
/u/scribblescrabblerag3 [5'1| 102 lbs| 20.13 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 11:41:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47x4bg/taking_a_break_from_caffeine/
---
Does anybody else have any experience with tolerance breaks from caffeine? I'm thinking about taking it out for a month to reset my tolerance. :/ I don't have a crazy resistance to it but I think I'm too reliant on coffee/diet energy drinks/soda/etc. I still plan to drink green tea occasionally during my break though. Green tea is amazing.

I can do it. It's all in my head. Just like my fast right now.

I don't know why I typed this out, I'm just thinking out loud.
My EC stack is making me chatty. ._.

Thank you for being a great dating site. I think I have met my match and I am very happy A6Vnc6Az1
/u/menniafal
Created: Sat Feb 27 11:33:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47x22l/thank_you_for_being_a_great_dating_site_i_think_i/
---
http://knewnan.com/AtCi0Rpr

I have met the most wonderful lady. This site is by far one of the best dating sites, due to the type of person it attracts RgZWBIbNB1
/u/farncenbumb
Created: Sat Feb 27 11:01:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ww6g/i_have_met_the_most_wonderful_lady_this_site_is/
---
http://blagpapa.com/8HkPhfw

I have really enjoyed your site and I have met a new lady and things are going well 4cWc8WFyz
/u/docosem
Created: Sat Feb 27 10:36:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47wp8f/i_have_really_enjoyed_your_site_and_i_have_met_a/
---
http://yicairen.com/405.php#WrjBzuBGJ0j

I have met the most amazing man and cannot quite believe what is happening between us IKeFX5h2NF
/u/mascatechs
Created: Sat Feb 27 10:12:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47wfl1/i_have_met_the_most_amazing_man_and_cannot_quite/
---
http://cokerbrotherssalesandservice.com/17.php#YEHeyhS0

[Tip] Maximize Your Drunken Potential, Minimize Your Caloric Damage: A chart giving the calories in a huge catalog of drinks as well as the percentage of calories that come from alcohol. (Probably don't drink straight Ethanol though.)
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 10:07:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47wdqj/maximize_your_drunken_potential_minimize_your/
---
http://getdrunknotfat.com/

I have met the most amazing man and cannot quite believe what is happening between us zMwBIn2Me
/u/flatweli
Created: Sat Feb 27 10:00:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47warq/i_have_met_the_most_amazing_man_and_cannot_quite/
---
http://cokerbrotherssalesandservice.com/19.php#afIX7scO

[Goal] A small reward for a small victory c: Ate 500 cals yesterday, and boxed for 2 hours straight like a champ, ate 300 the day before, and ran 3 miles. Weighed in at 102, so I am very happy c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 27 09:32:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47w27b/a_small_reward_for_a_small_victory_c_ate_500_cals/
---
http://imgur.com/cAp6zLJ

[Discussion] Statue of David, larger than life lol (giggle)
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 09:27:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47w0y3/statue_of_david_larger_than_life_lol_giggle/
---
http://imgur.com/97H3SSu

[Goal] Match 15th
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 145lbs|22.8|-40lbs|F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 09:02:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47vtwh/match_15th/
---
That's the day I will start skipping dinner 5 times a week. That's the day my husband starts working closing shifts (3pm to midnight). I work 9am to 6pm. I control my eating all day, then ruin it with dinner.

With no one to tell me to eat, I don't have to eat. I've lost 2-ish lbs in February and I feel like a stalled out failure. I think things might be turning around with my weight!

What are you looking forward to? What is making your goals happen?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 27 09:02:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47vtph/daily_food_diary_february_27_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] Small victories :)
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | CW: 105 | 20.1 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 27 08:54:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47vrja/small_victories/
---
Hi everyone. I have a small victory to share and I'd love to hear yours too :)

I've been on here on and off for a while now, but I've been struggling with losing any weight and been feeling pretty terrible about my body. This last week I went to a 4 day conference with my coworkers, which made it REALLY hard to restrict and work out. I tried to skip the entree to every meal and just do the sides (sometimes they were gross so I got stuck with just the tomatoes from sandwiches, which were yummy!). Anyway, the massive amount of eating and drinking we did at the conference did not make me gain weight at least. Yesterday was my first day back at the office, and I basically just had a bunch of coffee and tea and an energy bar all day :) But that isn't my victory. After work I skipped dinner and went to a friends house to play D&D and of course they had a TON of snack and a TON of alcohol. I managed to only have one beer and some veggie straws (pretty low cal) for dinner and was there hanging out til 2 am. I normally would have gone way overboard with drinking, I always drink too much, but last night I didn't and had a great time, and more importantly when I weighed myself this morning I was down to 105!!


Sorry that was pretty long, its been a long week and I just wanted to tell someone who wouldn't yell at me for not eating.

[Discussion] How long does the hunger high last for you until it breaks into fatigue?
/u/DisorderAlt
Created: Sat Feb 27 07:23:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47v39o/how_long_does_the_hunger_high_last_for_you_until/
---
That amphetamine like feeling lasts about two weeks for me until it fades and I start to spontaneously nap away while trying to watch a movie or read a book. Which is shitty, since that's usually the around time I find myself surrounded by wrappers worth a few thousand calories, undoing a lot of my progress, regardless of purging.

Is anyone in a similar cycle? Or does anyone know how make the high last longer?

[Help] I'm torn
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 106 lbs | 18.75 | -48 lbs]
Created: Sat Feb 27 07:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47v033/im_torn/
---
I always have been the fat kid and in my teens I had some problems with eating, (binging and starving which made me gain a fuck ton of weight too) but I got over that, but one day I found myfitnesspal and have been losing ever since. So now I have surpassed my goal weight by 2 kg (about 5 lbs) and realised that I am at a choosing point right now, either I go full blown into developing an eating disorder or I start to maintain. So yeah, I probably even forgot half of my points.

Reasons to keep losing weight:

* I absolutely am not satisfied with myself yet

* I like being hungry

* I have no clue as how to actually eat normally any more

* I'm jealous of people eating less

* 1200 kcal starts to feel like a lot and I don't even manage to eat it most days, because yuck food

* Food scares me

* There is nothing grosser than high cal food

* Getting fat again

* Seeing people eat

* Wanting to disappear by starving

Reasons to maintain:

* Friend in recovery of anorexia and I just can't do that to her

* I have seen the dirty sides of all that comes with it

* Everyone keeps pressuring me to eat, even some that mean a lot to me

* I would lose the battle from my mother that it isn't something you do because your friend does it and I'm just an stupid teen idiot (I'm 18 btw so she might have a point)

* I can hardly hide it

* Stores don't really carry smaller sizes as I'm already wearing

*So fuck what should I do now :(*



[Rant/Rave] treatment
/u/nevilleL0NGB0TT0M [63.75" | too much/not enough]
Created: Sat Feb 27 06:06:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ut6k/treatment/
---
Yesterday I found out I'm leaving for 6-8 weeks of partial hospitalization on Monday. I am very scared and sad and sick. Nothing is happening the way I thought it would.

I do not want to stop losing weight.
But: I want to not want to lose weight.

I'm not healthy and I know it's my fault.

I'm both extremely grateful for and extremely attached to this community; I know I mostly lurk (especially lately), but I've read every single post (literally) for the past several months, and if you're reading this, there's a very strong probability that I'd recognize your name and that I sincerely care about you as an individual human being. Even if we have never / barely interacted, I'm glad you exist. I don't think I would have survived this year without my eating disorder, and I don't think I would have survived my eating disorder without the ability to access content and communities like this.

Because of that, I want to share some of the flaws in my logic that led me to where I am right now.

One of them was thinking about an eating disorder as something like the most passive (blameless) form of suicide; it suddenly feels like the absolute least passive. I keep having to make choices I don't want to make, and the quality of the choices that are available to me keeps decreasing. All the choices are bad but I still have to choose!

Another was thinking it was possible to make completely informed decisions about what I do to myself. I had a relatively good grasp on the effects of malnutrition, but **no one is omniscient**. No one can predict every possible outcome, and no one can fully imagine or understand what a situation might feel like unless they're in that situation.

I really didn't (and don't) understand what it means to have trapped myself in the space between "all the way dead" and "all the way better". Even if I'm able to fix all the mental aspects of my eating disorder (and honestly I think I am stubborn and motivated enough to do that), my brain will still be inside a broken body.

I wanted to be a lot more specific and a lot more helpful than this but it hurts to admit my mistakes and thinking about their consequences makes me feel too heavy to breathe.

*****

tl;dr: My electrolytes are fine and I still get my period but there are plenty of other things that can go wrong. I'm not hopeless but regret stings like a bitch.

(edit: also..... lol, sorry for deleting my entire post history like mid-conversation with people šŸ˜¶ I panicked)

[Discussion] How y'all feel about extermination camps pics?
/u/lemoniere
Created: Fri Feb 26 22:55:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47tlik/how_yall_feel_about_extermination_camps_pics/
---
Have you ever happened to look at old pictures of inmates in extermination camps and notice how skinny many were, and comparing yourself to them? Does that make you feel good or bad, or how? Because I cannot make up my mind.

[Rant/Rave] I give, I'm going back to my ED
/u/ginpanda [5'6" | 268 | -5 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 21:56:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47tdvm/i_give_im_going_back_to_my_ed/
---
I've been bouncing between normal eating and disordered eating, and restricting and b+p. I'm over it though, I am so over the constant struggle and disappointment with myself. I was way happier when purging and restricting.

It's... really a big relief and happiness to decide to go back to it.

[Intro] Introduction <3
/u/finding_zen [5'3 | 137.2 | 25 | -5 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 20:04:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47t08t/introduction_3/
---
Hi there! [Bonus picture that I thought some people here might appreciate!](http://imgur.com/Gs8n7hw)

I've been lurking for a couple of months now. So many of you have been so inspirational that I finally had to make an account so I could say hello and interact with all of you fine people! :)

A little about me: I am a 20-year-old female college student. I have some unidentified condition that has been affecting me for the last year and causes severe muscle spasms throughout the trunk of my body as well as shooting pain throughout my spine. I also get severe migraines with blurry vision that may or may not be related. While the doctors have been trying their best to identify what's wrong, we can only cross one condition off the list at a time. Over the course of inactivity and binge eating I've gained a ton of weight. I'm super discouraged, because before my back became such a problem I was well on my way to my goal weight and in pretty decent shape.

I feel like I've lost all control of my life, and fasting is one of the few things that makes me feel like I can regain that control. You guys have been what's keeping my motivated when I start to lose will power, and for that I am SO thankful! If anybody just wants to chit chat then send me a message! I hope to get to know everyone now that I have an account to comment with!

[Help] Not sure how to deal with co-worker's serious concern about me (long-ish story)
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 118.0 lbs | 20.51 | ~27 lost | goal 107 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 19:54:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47sz06/not_sure_how_to_deal_with_coworkers_serious/
---
I'm a nurse. There's a co-worker who I don't work with very often because our schedules don't often line up (shift work). I see her a couple of times a month. I like her and she's easy to get along with, our personalities are fairly similar and I think she likes me as well. She's in a quasi-supervisory role over the rest of the staff.


Today it was just me and her in the break room at the morning coffee break and she asks me, "Have you been running a lot of marathons lately?" (I did a half in the fall but haven't done ANY exercise since then) and I said "No..." and she continues, "You've been losing so much weight... I notice because I don't see you that often and every time I do, you look smaller..." I explained that yes, I have lost weight over the last year, but it's because I have changed a lot of lifestyle factors, and I gave the example that I switched birth control.


She says that she felt like she had to say something because a few years ago a nurse on another unit who she knew decently well (this nurse taught dance to my co-worker's girls) had anorexia and died. She said that no one had really intervened or said anything, and so she felt badly about that, and after that happened, she promised herself that if she ever noticed anyone seemed to have issues with that, she would say something. She also asked me to let her know if there was anything she could do to help, and if work was stressing me out.


I told her that it wasn't work but other things in my life have been stressful, and that I'm ok right now.

I guess I look worrisomely thin? I think it's more because there is a contrast between how I looked when I started working there in 2014 and how I look now. When I started, I was 140 ish. Now I'm around 115. That is a big difference, to think about it objectively for a moment, especially on my frame and height.

The funny thing is, I intentionally bought a cookie along with my coffee this morning so that it would look like I was eating. Lately I've been not bringing any food to work and just buying coffee. I've been going down to the cafeteria to eat so my close co-workers wouldn't notice that I wasn't eating...

Her concern made me feel strangely proud and also made me realize that I definitely have issues... I bought a small container of soup for lunch today because of her comments (otherwise would have just had coffee and water) and she happened to have her lunch break at the same time as me, so she saw I was eating something. But because I only did it because I knew it'd be super suspicious otherwise, I felt really annoyed about it - I did NOT want to eat it. I had a few spoonfuls. So when she went to go buy her lunch and I was alone in the break room, I poured the rest of it down the sink.

I really don't feel the need to eat all day. I had dinner tonight (kale and bok choy, green beans, carrots, corn and a little bit of chicken steamed in broth; and a rice cake with a TBSP of almond butter, and an apple) to appease my husband.

Anyways, I know that since this one co-worker said something so direct, everyone else must be thinking it too. Now I feel like I HAVE to eat at work to avoid suspicion and I REALLY don't want to do that!!!

What do I do now?

Edit - grammar



[Discussion] Have any of you ever gotten gallstones?
/u/In_a_fatsuit [1.63m| 69.8kg| 26.9 BMI | -31.3kg | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 19:00:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ssar/have_any_of_you_ever_gotten_gallstones/
---
All these websites say that loss >2 lbs per week increases your risk of gallstones. I've lost 35 lbs in 12 weeks....so 3 lbs a week.

Starting to get a lot of heart palpitations this week too. Going to try to eat more....

Anyway, curious what the actual gallstone risk is.

[Thinspo] Thinspo for shorties?
/u/thininsp
Created: Fri Feb 26 17:40:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47shsk/thinspo_for_shorties/
---
I love thinspo. The issue is that a lot of it really zeroes in on long thin legs... something I will never have. I'm 5 feet tall, my legs are stubby. I find myself getting depressed looking at long legged thinspo since it is a body type I can never attain no matter how hard I try. Anyone know of some good short stuff thinspo?

[Help] Does anyone else get a huge stomach whenever they eat?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Fri Feb 26 17:18:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47sea2/does_anyone_else_get_a_huge_stomach_whenever_they/
---
Every single time I eat anything my waist gains a few inches. Throughout the day I go from a 24 inch waist to a 29 inch waist and it's frustrating. Does anyone else deal with this or have any ways to help with it?

[Help] Help. Sitting in the hospital right now.
/u/whatever1914 [5'7" | 133 |20.8 | 152 | M]
Created: Fri Feb 26 16:53:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47safw/help_sitting_in_the_hospital_right_now/
---
I'm such a fucking idiot.

So I've been seeing a counselor for about a month now for depression and anxiety. I mentioned that I have some eating issues but didn't want to address them. Well, I went in today and told him about how my suicidal thoughts have gotten more intense, but I don't want to die or have any intent. Anyways, he wanted to talk about my eating and I told him I've been fasting since Sunday(I'm so stupid). I'm not like underweight or anything. I weigh 133 pounds and I'm 5' 7"(I think I have a flair but I don't know how to update it on mobile, so it's outdated). Anyways, he says he's worried about me and wants me to go to inpatient treatment. He told me he'll admit me involuntarily for 72 hours. So I went voluntarily and the campus police gave me a ride cuz I didn't want to tell my mom. Now I'm sitting in the ER in these God awful scrubs waiting to be evaluated by the mental health people. I haven't mentioned my eating but they took my blood and urine and my counselor probably called ahead. Now this nurse(he's super cute, btw) keeps offering me food and I'm paranoid and just want to go home. How do I get out of this? Can they make me stay here? Help me, please.


Update: Good news. After hours of talking to tons of mental health people and sitting on this fucking stretcher in these ugly scrubs, I am being discharged momentarily. I've signed a safety plan and promised to follow up with day treatment. If anyone runs across this when going through a similar issue, they are able to hold you involuntarily if they get a court order. Being open to treatment and honest with the mental health professionals seemed to work out eventually. Now to figure out how to get home...

acquaintances and virtual striptease eDYDR3O
/u/bieorxgcnzdkfs
Created: Fri Feb 26 16:51:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47sa2t/acquaintances_and_virtual_striptease_edydr3o/
---
http://socceronsand.com/7.php#gOxTb5Z

[Rant/Rave] [Rant] Everyone knows I'm a broke college student... FML
/u/watchingwheels80 [5'5" | 129| 21.5 | -46 | F ]
Created: Fri Feb 26 14:00:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47rany/rant_everyone_knows_im_a_broke_college_student_fml/
---
I am the epitome of the broke college student. I have INVOLUNTARILY gone without eating, many times before. It's no longer that bad, but still pretty bleak.

So to "help", everyone at work gives me stuff. Today they had free pizza (my FAVORITE FOOD) that I managed to pass up ("I gave up dairy for lent"...I'm not at all religious and have no idea what Lent even is lmao). However, they had a leftover pizza so are insisting that I take it home with me. A few pieces are vegan, apparently.

Fuck my actual life. I'm grabbing Bronkaid on the way home, and am planning on sticking most of what pizza my roommate doesn't eat in the freezer. Fuck me. I work so hard to restrict, and this is how I'm rewarded? I mean, it's great people care about me, but why can't they buy me clothes and do my homework for me instead of giving me so much fucking binge food?

[Rant/Rave] Lol
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 13:24:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47r3ox/lol/
---
http://imgur.com/yUptpED

[Thinspo] Anas voice
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 26 13:11:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47r0rp/anas_voice/
---
http://imgur.com/V7ouauH

[Tip] EC stack update & warning (TMI)
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Feb 26 13:07:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47qzz1/ec_stack_update_warning_tmi/
---
So I've been doing an EC stack for the last two days but I'm seriously considering stopping because of one particular side effect: it's making me leak pee.


I did some research and urinary problems can be a side effect of stimulants like ephedrine, especially urinary retention where you have trouble fully emptying your bladder when you need to (and then have issues later when you don't want to).


I love the fact that I can fast all day without even thinking about food but I'm not sure it's worth it if it means I have to piss myself to do it. Fun times, but at least I tried.


*Edit: Came home tonight and my feet went completely numb and stayed that way for a half an hour. I had to soak them in hot water to get the feeling back slowly. I can definitively say that I will not be messing with ephedrine anymore.

[Intro] I need help!
/u/octopuskhaleesi [5'1 | 117.4 | 22.18 | -1.4 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 12:48:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47qvsj/i_need_help/
---
In high school (I graduated 2014) I was really good at restricting. I went 4 days without eating once. I was so strong and thin! Hunger felt amazing.

At the same time I was having a hard time with my depression and was coping by restricting. I moved away from my mom and in with my boyfriend. At this point, I weighed 90 lbs.

I've been happier overall but I've gained so much weight! I'm alone all day so I usually don't eat much then but when my boyf gets home he eats a bunch. He also gets cravings for sweets which I usually partake in. I'm 117.4 lbs now and it's the highest I've ever been. I just have absolutely no control over myself.

Does anyone have any tips for getting back in the swing of things?


[Tip] PSA: LightLife makes Veggie Hotdogs (that taste like real hot dogs) for 50 cals and 14g protein a piece and they are super filling.
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149.6 | -7 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Fri Feb 26 12:48:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47qvlf/psa_lightlife_makes_veggie_hotdogs_that_taste/
---
https://lightlife.com/products/smart-dogs

[Intro] Intro :)
/u/elliewh94 [5"6' | 149lbs | 24.15 | -10lbs| F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 12:32:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47qs7w/intro/
---
Hi everyone!

I've been lurking here for a while and finally decided to create a reddit account so I can finally join in and hopefully feel more motivated.

I was pretty chubby all through school and binge ate my emotions quite often. School was a rough time for me as I was pretty badly bullied. When I left school, with no confidence in myself at all and got into an emotionally abuse relationship which resulted in me restricting to have some control. This got more severe after he sexually assaulted me and we broke up.

Becoming single and being thinner than ever before definitely had its benefits and I finally felt confident in myself. I even moved abroad for a while. Now I have a happy relationship and a very supportive boyfriend, but I have no control over my eating again. I restrict all week but then we see each other and I binge eat so much with him that I have started purging after and am losing confidence again.

So, wanted to say hi and hopefully we can support each other with our goals and finally see some results! GW is 136lbs at the weight I was when i met my bf. Gonna move in stages and hopefully get lower than that tho.

Nice to finally be out of the woodwork :D

[Goal] Hazelnut Coffe for breakfast<3
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Fri Feb 26 12:01:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47qlz0/hazelnut_coffe_for_breakfast3/
---
I did it! I turned down all good and instead am enjoying a warm cup of hazelnut coffee (2 calories)(:

I made this goal last night after feeling *disgusting* for going over my calorie limit and I'm making up for it nowšŸ˜Œ

[Goal] 98,4!
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 96,8 | 16,3| -31,2 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 11:26:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47qfh8/984/
---
http://i.imgur.com/1CBll68.jpg

[Discussion] Starting to restrict calories & running into speed bumps.
/u/PickledEverything [5'3"| 150 | 26.40| -5| Female]
Created: Fri Feb 26 11:10:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47qc82/starting_to_restrict_calories_running_into_speed/
---
I've always been on the thinner side my whole family is just thin. Last year I got out of a 4 year relationship. During that relationship my diet consisted of Domino's Pizza (2 med. Pizza - 2 topping, 10 spicy chicken wings and 2 lava cakes.) I went from 120 pounds - 140.

After moving out I just didnt eat at all. My day would start with a coffee from Tim Hortons and end with one basically. So i lost a considerable amount of weight in 5 months. My weight went down to 110. I just didnt eat because the thought of food made me feel sick.

Then the partying started and a month ago on my vacation to Jamaica I weighed 150. The heavest I've ever been and super shameful to be the fattest one on the trip.

ANYWAYS, I'll get to my point. I've been slowly restricting calories and this week I've started an EC stack (16mg of ephedrine and 200mg of caffeine). I don't feel that hungry much now. My goal is to get back to 110 pounds.

However, the speed bump would be my boyfriend. He is into weight lifting and goes to the gym 3 times a week. He is very against extreme calorie restrictions. So he knows nothing about my EC stack and how much I am not around him.

[ How do you guys deal with eating around people? Any tips to make it seem less obvious? ]

Half the time I eat nothing all day until I'm around him so I can eat around him. I try not to go over 800-1000 calories each day.

One last thing, he is kinda on high alert about these things because his ex used to self harm and was bulimic. Hospitalized several times.

[Help] I feel like I'm getting fatter
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" | 134.1 | 26.46 l -14.9 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 09:49:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47pvcu/i_feel_like_im_getting_fatter/
---
My highest weight the last couple weeks was 143.8. I didn't update my flair and have been lurking for a while because I was really embarrassed. But I've lost that and then some so now I'm down to the lowest weight I've been in almost two years, yet all I can see in the mirror is fatness. My face looks puffier and my arms are blobby and I don't even want to get started on my thighs. I feel bigger than I've ever been, which I know isn't true because I've been fitting into smaller clothes, but I just can't physically see it. Maybe my body looks thinner at a higher weight because of proportionality or something? What is wrong with me?

[Help] So fustrated
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Fri Feb 26 09:33:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47pskm/so_fustrated/
---
I lost more weight today, yay! 125! Lowest I've been in four years! But I look in the mirror and feel like a fat cow who looks 7 pounds over because I'm bloated af because I'm due for my period soon. I just want to cry. ): I don't have cramps but will Midal take away the bloating even if I haven't started my period yet?

Also, what's the trick to get rid of excess skin? Just tone more? My hips and lower belly are just disgusting from before (maybe 160 at my highest 3 years ago) and the skin just sits there and I hate it ):

[Rant/Rave] I'll never be skinny!!!!!!!!!!!! (Lots of F-bombs to follow...)
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 09:06:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47pnxr/ill_never_be_skinny_lots_of_fbombs_to_follow/
---
So I had another doctor appointment since I keep having "panic attacks" which is really like me feeling like I'm drowning and about to pass out, and I hadn't been on a scale since I said I wouldn't until I could see my hip bones jutting out at least a bit when sitting... like they used to... and I'm WAY heavier than I've EVER been, even when I was pregnant. Granted I had boots on, but I don't think my boots weigh 20 pounds. I am so miserable, I don't know what else to do. I've been taking EC stacks every day almost, drinking water like crazy, taking fiber, garcinola, chromium picolinate, avoiding ALL carbs, taking fish oil, drink my coffee black, stretching, moving around, working out, getting sleep... I just don't know anymore!!! I asked my Dr. and she was like "oh, that's just part of getting older" and I said "well, would you be concerned if you gained 30+ pounds in 5-6 years??" she paused and said, "well, yes of course haha.... no one wants to gain that much weight especially women, but your thyroid is fine, your hormones are fine, your chest x-ray is fine, you're healthy and you look like a good weight." Nothing she said made me feel better. In fact, it made me feel worse. I can work out and work hard at this every day and just GAIN weight? Like, how? Then... THEN... she put me on antidepressants. We all know what those do.... Fuck this world. Fuck my fat ass and my fat thighs and my belly and all of it. I fucking hate myself and am so fucking fed up. Fuck. :(

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 26 09:03:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47pn9w/daily_food_diary_february_26_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Sorry, I thought this was super cute. Me when my SO comes back from a trip, or when I see my BFF after a break, or.. my grandpa <3
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 26 08:41:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47pjmr/sorry_i_thought_this_was_super_cute_me_when_my_so/
---
http://i.imgur.com/vV0csJh.gifv

[Rant/Rave] This sure feels good
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 08:39:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47pjeg/this_sure_feels_good/
---
Last weekend, I went on a minicruise to England (Newcastle) with my boyfriend, my sister and her friend. We all took a lot of pictures of course. Yesterday, it was my boyfriends grandmothers birthday. I couldn't be there (we live 3 hours apart, that's a lot for the small country I live in and traveling is expensive so he usually comes to my place in the weekends) so I sent her an email to congratulate her. He went there and showed the pictures from the minicruise.

Today I received a thank you from her and she said I looked skinny, almost too skinny! Of course I'm not getting too skinny yet (I look normal, maybe even a bit chubby because I have a small frame), but it's always nice to hear. I haven't seen her in a while, the last time I was borderline overweight.

[Discussion] [tip][discussion] Let's talk about Supplements
/u/red_dead_ed [5'4"| CW:179/UGW:115 | 31.33 | -13lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 08:24:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ph2d/tipdiscussion_lets_talk_about_supplements/
---
Hi all!

I've noticed a lot of interest in EC stacks recently, so I decided to share a list of supplements that I currently take/have taken in the past.

We all know that there is no quick fix, and that losing weight takes hard work and dedication. There is no magic pill out there that will make the pounds drop away (and lord save us if there were), but that doesn't mean there aren't a lot of things that will help the process. I'm splitting the list into two--supplements that act as appetite suppressants/mild thermogensis promoters and those that help with mental health. I've also included links to examine.com articles so that you can do your own research.

I've included notes about how some of these have helped me personally, but it is important for you to do your own research and figure out what is best for YOU before beginning any supplement regimen. I am not a doctor or health care professional, so please take these recommendations with a grain of salt. As always, YMMV.

**Appetite Suppressants:**

1. [Ephedrine](http://examine.com/supplements/Ephedrine/): One of (if not the) most well known appetite suppressants. Commonly found in an EC/ECA/or ECY stack.

2. [Yohimbine](http://examine.com/supplements/Yohimbine/): The "Y" in the ECY stack. Its also great on its own as an appetite suppressant/thermogensis promoter. One clear benefit of taking Yohimbine over Ephedrine is that it is readily available online or in some stores (in the US).
* Please note: If you are doing an EY/ECY stack, start with the LOWEST POSSIBLE dose of both ephedrine and yohimbine and DO NOT increase dosages until you have thoroughly assessed how you react to these supplements. Both of these supplements can be very dangerous because they increase heart rate/blood pressure and as a result, may increase risk of heart attacks. This is doubly true for those with very low BMIs--it might be better to chose one or the other.

3. [Ashwagandha](http://examine.com/supplements/Ashwagandha/): This actually belongs in both categories; Ashwagandha has a respectable amount of research showing that it both reduces cortisol and increases "power" output (helps you go longer and harder when exercising). It is also useful as an anti-anxiety, particularly when taken with alcohol.
* Word of caution: I've seen Ashwaganda affect people in completely different ways; for some it completely erases all of their anxiety and inhibitions when taken with alcohol, for others it turns them into rage machines. The only reason I can speculate is that it has to do with your mental state (as with other drugs, mind set and setting are always important to take into consideration when trying new things). Not my favorite supplement but it might help others.

4. My personal favorite, [Taurine](http://examine.com/supplements/Taurine/): While this has no research supported effects on direct weight loss (fat burning or otherwise), it is a GREAT supplement to take if you find yourself craving something sweet. I can't remember how I got turned on to this, and the examine page doesn't show it, but Taurine kicks sugar cravings in the ASS. If I feel like I'm about to binge on sugar (usually gummy worms or something equally as disgusting), I take 2 taurine and wait it out. Within about 10 minutes the craving is gone. Also helps with mental acuity and focus.

**Mental Health and Focus**

1. Phenibut (sorry no examine link): Originally developed in the USSR to help soldiers cope with anxiety, stress, depression, and insomnia. Not FDA approved in the United States for any of the above, but is still used in Russia as an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication (make of that what you will). I recommend that doses be taken in powder form, administered sublingually (hold it there for 60 seconds) for maximum effect. One dose is usually enough to keep the bad thoughts/panic attacks away all day for me. This supplement should probably be cycled (a few days on, a few days off; on off days you can substitute another nootropic supplement) as studies have shown "phenibut crashes" if taken consistently for too long (basically you go back down to your normal level of anxiety/depression which feels even worse than normal since you've been feeling so good for so long). I recommend this because a lot of us deal with bad head stuff most days, and this is a (fairly) safe alternative to traditional anti-depressants (which can fuck with your head even more).

2. Picamillon: Another nootropic useful as an anti-anxiety (but not so much as an anti-depressant). It is also SUPER AWESOME as an acute treatment for migraines and hunger headaches, which I know are an issue for a lot of us. Of course this is just a personal observation and YMMV, but since I started taking picamillon I've been able to completely cycle off my migraine medication (topamax) that I had been taking since 16.

3. [L-tyrosine](http://examine.com/supplements/L-Tyrosine/), [Noopept](http://examine.com/supplements/Noopept/), and [Theanine](http://examine.com/supplements/Theanine/): All nootropic compounds that help with anxiety, mental acuity/focus, and stress reduction. Particularly useful with long fasts if you know you are going to have a lot of responsibilities at school/work. These help me to avoid "hunger brain."

4. THC: I know I know...most people associate this with munchies and over-eating and general laziness. However, I've found that taking a hit before I go to the gym helps me to power through workouts. Also, as long as there is no food right in front of me, I don't have an appetite. I become completely engrossed in whatever I'm doing, be it watching netflix, coloring, or working out. YMMV significantly with this one.

**Extra Credit: General Health**

* Selenium, Zinc, Spirulina, N-Acetyl Cystein (NAC); All *very* powerful, research backed anti-oxidants. If you smoke in addition to fasting (guilty), these will help to mitigate to some extent the damage done by systemic inflammation.

* Nicotine: A favorite when fasting, usually taken through the form of cigarettes. If you currently smoke, consider switching to vaping instead. There is a pretty significant amount of research that shows that nicotine is actually helpful to the body (appetite suppressant, increases focus, anti-inflammatory) when administered in a form other than tobacco (the thing that hurts you with cigarettes is the burning of organic plant matter, not the nicotine in and of itself). I switched to vaping a few months ago and have more or less quit analogs cold turkey. I tend to use very strong flavored fruity juices, which also helps me to control cravings for sweets.

Now you're probably wondering where you can get some of these. My personal favorite for most of these is powdercity.com. They have strict quality controls and don't use branded packaging, which means you can pick stuff up for very cheap. Amazon is also good for some of these, but always proceed with caution and read reviews; you always want to make sure you're getting high quality supplements to ensure they will work the way they are supposed to.

Alright, that's it. Not an exhaustive list of everything out there, so if you have recommendations for what works for you, please share!

<3

Edit to add: [Adrafanil](http://examine.com/supplements/Adrafinil/): Prodrug form of Modafanil (which is a schedule 2 (?) drug in the US), which means your body breaks the compound down into Modafanil. Can't get your hands on ritalin/vyvanse? This is a fairly good substitute (though it is NOT chemically related to either of those AFAIK). A little bit goes a LONG WAY. Half a dose had me bouncing around and super productive for about 12 hours with no appetite.

More advice: Don't try starting out with several of these at once. If you're interested in adding supplements, try them one at a time for a period of two weeks or so before adding anything else. Alternate different supplements so that you don't build up tolerances. Be smart and be safe!


[Rant/Rave] Scale problems ><
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 26 07:44:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47pant/scale_problems/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How can my clothes weigh this much?
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -32lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 07:31:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47p8o3/how_can_my_clothes_weigh_this_much/
---
So this morning I used the bathroom then did my usual weigh in. I was down .5 lb since yesterday, but then I remembered I had my pajama pants on. I usually don't during weigh ins so I took them off and I was 1 lb lighter....so 1.5 lb down since yesterday. I moved the scale a few times to double check. Then out of curiosity I took all my clothes off and I was now 3 lbs lighter. I put them back on and was 3 lbs heavier.... There isn't really a way that fleece pajama pants, a t shirt, and a sports bra can weigh that much can it??

[Help] How can my clothes weigh this much?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 26 07:28:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47p85y/how_can_my_clothes_weigh_this_much/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I'm really happy and I just wanted to tell you guys :)
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Fri Feb 26 07:17:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47p6o9/im_really_happy_and_i_just_wanted_to_tell_you_guys/
---
My high school boyfriend/first love has reached out to me (we are 24 now) and he wants us to kick it soon. Said we shouldnt drift and that our souls should be connected. I'm so happy! He hasnt seen me since we were teens and I've lost over 20 lbs since then. Can't wait to shock him with how hot I got! We've been moderately in touch over the years but this is the 1st time he's made a bold step like that. I remember our time together fondly (a bunch of my firsts were with him) and I'm looking forward to reconnecting. He makes me feel all happy and innocent inside. :3 This couldn't come at a better time either because the guy I'm kind of talking to rn (who incidentally is the only other guy besides high school sweetheart who's kiss/taste/scent drives me crazy in a very physical way) is being pretty icy to me and I have no idea why. I'll be happy to ice him right back! Bye bitch!

Edit: bitch boy hit me back... and I caved almost immediately :( wtf is wrong with me. I'm with him now and he's being so sweet and cute. It's like he opens up a tiiiny bit more every time I see him.. he wants to make music together. Just asked me to sing for him. UGH SO ADORABLE WTF

[Tip] ED related music, documentaries and movies
/u/thinamy [5'8.5'' | 147 | 22 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 07:17:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47p6mx/ed_related_music_documentaries_and_movies/
---
Hey,
this is my first post. I'm more comfortable being a lurker for now and we'll see if that changes in a while.

I am always craving movies, documentaries and music with ED related content, and I never seem to see anyone refer to Maria Menas album "Cause and effect". The entire album is basically about her childhood and teenage years struggles, including eating disorders. I recommend the song Eyesore.

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mu6dxoJajo

Also, can anyone help me find the name of this old movie where the main character has anorexia, and the lady who plays the main character actually struggled with ED at the time? She has dark curly hair, thats all I remember. Feel free to also comment other tips including links to where this question surely has been asked before. :-)


[Tip] Do you feel hungry?
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 07:11:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47p5v4/do_you_feel_hungry/
---
http://imgur.com/RfO4CED

[Rant/Rave] Someone calm my ass down..
/u/thininsp
Created: Fri Feb 26 06:33:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47p0vm/someone_calm_my_ass_down/
---
So I decided to try Bronkaid to help me get through fasting days easier. I've never tried it before but I did my research ahead of time. Took a half pill this morning. The box says you can take 4 pills a day as an adult.... So why am I freaking out that my heart is going to explode or something? /sigh. I love being irrational. I've taken asthma medicine half my life (not in recent years), so it isn't even like I should have a bad response to this, I would have had a negative response to any number of bronchodilators I've been on by prescription in the past.

Shut up stupid brain

**edit** oh and if anyone else was nervous or wondering about buying it... I literally walked into Walgreen's, went to the cold section, pondered over the three choices of cards they had (Bronkaid, Primatine, and generic Primatine), grabbed a card, grabbed a bag of sugar free cough drops, and went to the pharmacy. The girl smiled at me, took the card, asked for my ID, punched out into the computer, asked me to sign the electronic pad, asked if I had any questions about the medication, and told me to have a nice day. My receipt said on the bottom that my state's limit is 9g of ephedrine per month. That's a lot of boxes. It was $14 for 60 pills.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! February 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 26 05:03:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47oq1o/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_february_26/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for February 26, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] I just got out of the hospital for an OD...
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 208lbs | 38.04 | -10| F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 03:30:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ogsk/i_just_got_out_of_the_hospital_for_an_od/
---
And the first thing the doctor made me repeat back to him was that I know I'm obese. I gained 10lbs in the hospital I COULD NOT AFFORD! And because of the respiratory failure I can barely work out. I guess I need some assurance right now. :(( Updating my flair and planning a green smoothie fast vs tea fast right now. I REALLY need to get back on track with my weight loss. I'm at the highest weight of my life. I don't know to get myself going restricting (trying SO hard to stop purging) without fasting first and my boyfriend will notice if I don't eat in a day.

Edited for more details.

[Intro] ~Intro~
/u/anasomnia [5'4" | 129.0 | 22.1 | -1.5 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 01:30:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47o5c9/intro/
---
I guess this is somewhat of an overdue intro, but here goes! I've been struggling with an eating disorder since I was in fourth grade, where I even hated eating back then. First summer after freshman year of high school, my mother took me to an eating disorder clinic, where I had my blood, vitals checked, an EKG, etc., because my mom had found out about my purging and restricting. Back then I had a BMI of about 18.5. I was hospitalized with a resting heart rate of 36 and extremely low blood pressure and body temperature, plus the loss of my period. I stayed in the hospital for about a week, then I was discharged. I attended therapy and weigh-ins every week after that, plus some therapy, though therapy really doesn't do anything for me. The rest of the whole summer I was doing fine, I actually didn't have any eating disorder-related thoughts, and I ate pretty much like a normal person. Up until around November of high school sophomore year. I got through a lot of the weigh-ins by water loading and so I did fine, and told the doctors there was no way I'd relapse, I was fine, nothing was wrong with me, etc. My thoughts came back and now here I am, still in sophomore year. I just want to go back to my old weight again and lose all the disgusting weight I had gained a few months ago. My friends say I'm ruining my life, but despite what anybody says, this is truly what I really want, more than anything in this world, I just want to be thin, nothing is going to stop me. I hope this sub helps to get me there. :)

[Goal] I got amazing news. I need to lose weight more than ever now.
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 01:20:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47o4fu/i_got_amazing_news_i_need_to_lose_weight_more/
---
My long-distance boyfriend told me he would be able to afford coming here and is seriously considering it. If things keep going this way we can probably meet up quite soon. I'm really exited about it but really scared that I won't be thin enough, and worried about eating in front of him etc. He's 6 foot and Ā±140 pounds, I want to look tiny next to him. I hope I can get my bmi into the 15's before I see him.

I've eaten slightly above maintenance the last two days *sigh* but I'll be able to make up for that with 1 day of fasting, and I'm going 2 or 3 more after that to lose more. I'm starting right now, counting 9am as my starting point. This is the best motivation I've had so far. I will be good enough for him. I will make myself good enough.

[Help] Restricting Struggles
/u/anasomnia [5'4" | 129.0 | 22.1 | -1.5 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 01:09:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47o3fd/restricting_struggles/
---
The week of February 14-20 has been one hell of a week, my school was on president's week break and that was the week where everything just spiraled out of control. I guess I just said in my mind "fuck this, I'll just eat what I want and restrict again like normally when school starts again." On Monday and Tuesday I restricted regularly, under 300 calories each day, but on Wednesday, I just ate so much for dinner and I know logically it was under 600 calories for the day, but ugh, it just feels like so much to me and it doesn't help that I'm bloating a lot. My stomach hurts when I suck in or if I press on it. Not sure how else to describe it. Today was just god-fucking-awful, though. For breakfast alone, I ate a 100 calorie Greek yogurt, some leftover pasta from dinner the night before, FOUR 140-calorie chocolate Fiber One bar things, and a 90-calorie brownie Fiber one bar. It fucking blows my mind so much how much I ate today. I ate more for dinner, too, chicken and broccoli, with some ice cream and yet another 140-cal Fiber one bar again. (My mom buys these HUGE bulk Fiber one bars and those little chips that come in a huge bulk box. Thank god I haven't touched those yet.) Anyway, I just think that the break from school screwed me over so badly and it just swiped me off track and I'm just gonna gain so much weight at this point if I can't control it. This is the highest weight I've ever been in my life, and it sucks. I feel like such a failure compared to how I was last year. I just need to learn to be stricter with myself when I'm trying to restrict. Tomorrow I plan to fast the whole day. Can someone please give me tips/support? I hate living in this body, it just feels so.. not me. I need to change. No more eating.

[Tip] Bronkaid coupon $1.50 off, text verification required
/u/xsprincess [5' 8" | 114.5 | 17.22 | 5.5 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 01:04:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47o300/bronkaid_coupon_150_off_text_verification_required/
---
http://www.bronkaid.com/home.php

[Discussion] Exercise Binges
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 154 | 24.1 | -31 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 26 00:25:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47nzbv/exercise_binges/
---
Does anyone else do this? Sometimes when I feel like I've been eating too much or just gross in general I'll excessively workout. Like I'll go to the gym for 3-4 hours a day for like a week straight.

[Intro] Ello Lovelies!
/u/LucidlyAlive
Created: Thu Feb 25 23:53:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47nw5o/ello_lovelies/
---
INTRO
Welp, It is about time the lurker introduces herself. My name is Jessika and I look forward to meeting many of you!

I am a decent motivator and I have been struggling for almost 6 years. Some side things I like are tea, drawing, writing, and running.

I have been yoyoing from my lowest weight and now I almost back to my highest. It is about time i get back on track from all the BP.

Highest weight : 175 lowest weight: 105 current weight: 147 Goal weight 1: 125...height" 5'5.

If anyone is interested in helping one another along I would love to meet you. We can talk about all kind of other stuff cause in reality I really just want friends who understand. Just pop me a DM. This is not an anabuddy request. I am honestly looking for friends.

Hopefully talk to you soon. ā¤

[Help] vacation
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 114.4 lb | 22.34 | -13.5| Female]
Created: Thu Feb 25 23:47:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47nvju/vacation/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] New bonespo tumblr account
/u/SkinnyMe0324 [5"3 | 150 lbs | 26.67 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 23:29:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ntiq/new_bonespo_tumblr_account/
---
I was notalivetillimthin but now I'm xx-starve-me-skinny-xx so yea. Btw really triggering images so yea. Very skinny not thinspo. Just want to clearify that.

[Thinspo] Ribs Thinspo (album)
/u/calorified
Created: Thu Feb 25 23:25:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47nt40/ribs_thinspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/92HFX

[Help] Reached goal weight. Frustrated.
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 155 | 19.9 | -53 | M]
Created: Thu Feb 25 23:20:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47nsjh/reached_goal_weight_frustrated/
---
So I finally reached my goal weight of 155 lbs by cutting to 1500 calories per day (may seem like a lot, but I workout 2+ hours per day and have a TDEE of roughly 2300cals). But I'm still SUPER frustrated with the amount of fat around my waist. I've lost a bunch of inches of my waist, but not nearly as many as I was hoping...

What do I do now? Set a lower goal weight? I'm getting awfully close to being underweight, and almost everyone is starting to publicly worry about me. I don't want to put on more muscle than I already have too. Everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE) is suggesting I gain upper body muscle, but that frustrates me to no end cause I wanna have a super femme physique for a cosplay.

I'm at wits end here. Do I stay the course of a light cut + cardio/core strength? Do I try to put on muscle (and potentially fuck up my appearance)?

[Discussion] For anyone else have "reset" days?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Thu Feb 25 22:48:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47nov2/for_anyone_else_have_reset_days/
---
Sometimes I eat at maintenance for a day, just to get rid of binge urges? I eat a little bit below maintenance so I can start fresh the next day with no damage

EDIT: Sorry for the typo in the title...I meant "does"

[Discussion] I am freezing all the time. What do I need to add to my diet? Any supplements or natural foods I could add?
/u/spicy_hippoplankton [5'7" | 106 lbs | 16.6 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 21:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47nass/i_am_freezing_all_the_time_what_do_i_need_to_add/
---
TIA. I'm just always freezing.. I used to always overheat.. when I was at 145 lbs.. Go figure.

[Help] Is there somewhere I can go to get my body fat accurately measured?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 20:34:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47n6vl/is_there_somewhere_i_can_go_to_get_my_body_fat/
---
Basically it would be worth it for me to pay ~50 dollars (ill just take it from food budget lol) if i could get accurately measured. I tried calipers but im not that flexible and i dont think it's that accurate. Has anyone tracked their body fat accurately?

[Help] I think my friend triggers my binges...
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 118| BMI | -18lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 20:18:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47n4mg/i_think_my_friend_triggers_my_binges/
---
I've been really good with restricting this past month, I've only b/p a couple of times. I never really knew what triggered the binges (I always thought a bad day or boredom) but I realized today that the majority of the time I am overly sensitive and one of my friends has triggered it.

Today I had a crazy busy day (class from 8-2 and a horrible day at work from 3-6) on 2 hours of sleep and I had to get ready for a social event and I ran into her. When I saw her, the first thing she told was "that I looked like shit" and I told her I was just stressed and tired. She sneered at me and told me I had nothing to stress about, and then started telling me about her day. The whole exchange made me feel invalidated and when I got home I binged and purged and canceled my plans for the night.

Another time, my roommate last year told me that the new dress I had just gotten in the mail was too tight and I needed to lose 5-10 pounds sent me into the worst binge/purge I've ever had (like 5000 calories bad), so I know I can be overly sensitive.

I know my friend means well but how do I a) stop being so sensitive or b) ask her to be nicer(?)

[Rant/Rave] I'm so happy!!
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5| 115 | 21.36 | 18 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 20:00:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47n1ys/im_so_happy/
---
So the last few weeks, I've been trying to eat about 200 calories a meal. Recently, I realized I could skip one real (I don't ever eat breakfast) meal a day without people noticing so I'll go anywhere from 18-30 hours between meals.

Today I knew I had a family friend coming to visit my college so I got really anxious because that meant I was going to have to go out to eat, probably eating around 700 calories, depending on what I can eat (vegetarian, no gluten/sugar). I kept obsessively checking menus at places I don't usually frequent in case they wanted to go there. Turns out, we went to my favorite restaurant! It is my favorite because I can get a spinach salad that only has spinach, a few cherry tomatoes, a hard boiled egg (whites only!), parmesan, and Italian dressing. And because they were out of Italian and I don't eat any other dressing, even fewer calories!! I totaled it out to around 190, which is right where I want to be today!

I'm sorry for the long post, but this has been weighing (lol) on me since I knew they were coming and I am so excited I didn't have to eat an excessive amount today. The next challenge is helping my family with a dinner party where there will be so many opportunities to eat a ton of calories. But that is a challenge for another day.

You are all lovely, thank you for being here to help me in my hard times :)

[Rant/Rave] This isn't ED related, but I just really needed someone to rant to, and maybe give some advice...thanks, loves.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 25 19:56:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47n1bu/this_isnt_ed_related_but_i_just_really_needed/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Mega [thinspo] dump (mostly NSFW)
/u/red_dead_ed [5'4"| CW:179/UGW:115 | 31.33 | -13lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 19:54:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47n14m/mega_thinspo_dump_mostly_nsfw/
---
[Here](http://imgur.com/a/RYdVt)

Cheers <3

[Rant/Rave] I feel awful
/u/Skintightme [5'9 | 135 lbs | 19.37 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 19:49:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47n08s/i_feel_awful/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Not a doodle, but anorexia art in a different medium.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 25 19:09:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47muia/not_a_doodle_but_anorexia_art_in_a_different/
---
http://i.imgur.com/JQv9W2o.jpg

[Intro] Hello again.
/u/Scarecrow-Girl [5'1" | 104.1lbs]
Created: Thu Feb 25 18:57:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47msqf/hello_again/
---
Just to say - I was 4st00lbs, but I lost the password for that account. So, hello once more. Dropped two more pounds. Or so sayeth my somewhat dodgy scales.

[Discussion] SFW thinspo on reddit?
/u/LadyTetra [5'4" | 103 | 18.03 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 17:39:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47mhc2/sfw_thinspo_on_reddit/
---
Does anyone know if there are any non-nude thinspo subreddits? While thinspo is okay, it brings people who get off to the naked pictures too. Which honestly grosses me out to see, I don't want to know about how you want to fuck the girl in the image..like why can't they just go to a gw sub?! I get they remove creepy comments sometimes, but I'd really like to shelter myself. I realize I should probably just get over it, but if there is a different subreddit with clothed women I'd imagine there would be less of that? I also just prefer clothed women in general as I can imagine myself wearing their outfits.

I know I'm being totally crazy, but if you have any suggestions it would be great! Thanks!!

[Discussion] Run me through your day of tracking!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 16:15:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47m4fo/run_me_through_your_day_of_tracking/
---
What apps do you use? Do you track by overestimating? Food scale? Food diary? Do you track exercise? How do you keep accuracy with it?

[Tip] Simple and low calories snacks/breakfasts
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 16:08:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47m3cu/simple_and_low_calories_snacksbreakfasts/
---
http://imgur.com/6UloGaX

[Discussion] (literal) Heart twinge after purging
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Thu Feb 25 15:58:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47m1iu/literal_heart_twinge_after_purging/
---
So...as I stood up from purging, my heart sort of shuddered. I felt it in my chest. It was...unnerving.

Has anyone else experienced that? Or other concerning effects?

[Discussion] Do you guys fast or extreme restrict? If so, how do you do it?
/u/getswoll
Created: Thu Feb 25 15:52:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47m0kc/do_you_guys_fast_or_extreme_restrict_if_so_how_do/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Do you blame your ED on others?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Feb 25 14:36:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47lnh5/do_you_blame_your_ed_on_others/
---
I don't know, I kinda do. My mother has been dieting for as long as I can remember and always talked about it. Still remember the day when she screamed at me that I was getting fat. And "miss piggy" as a nickname at school probably didn't help either.

[Intro] Here we go again (intro)
/u/watchingwheels80 [5'5" | 129| 21.5 | -46 | F ]
Created: Thu Feb 25 14:27:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47llge/here_we_go_again_intro/
---
I've lurked FOREVER but felt the need to make a throwaway account to post here because my roommate MAY know my primary reddit account. I kept rationalizing that there was no need to make a throwaway because I had gotten the ED under control a long time ago and was just here because I was bored... yeah right.

I'm a 23-year-old college student (took a couple year break between high school and college for abuse/PTSD issues) who has dealt heavily with binging and restriction in the past. It started when I was realllllyyy little - 5? - and commented that my sister looked like "a green bean" (because she was tall, thin, and wearing all green). My mom retorted that I'm "a lot bigger than most girls your age, so stop it". Told you there were abuse issues; looking back, I realize of course that I was very normally sized.

I started restricting a lot then, but it didn't really become a problem until puberty. Breasts came out of nowhere and I just wanted them GONE! I had an incredible appetite, so I would end up binging on my favorite dinner, then not eating for a day or more to compensate.

It's ten years later, and I'm still here. I thankfully have the binging under control now, for the most part! I really struggle with keeping my ED under wraps from my roommate, and performing well in school when I've been heavily restricting. I'm really glad to have this community for support, though!

[Rant/Rave] a little vent. a little rant.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 25 14:10:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47lhhl/a_little_vent_a_little_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Question: How often do ya'll take EC stacks?
/u/zomboooo [5'7| 122 | -30 | NB]
Created: Thu Feb 25 13:13:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47l3h0/question_how_often_do_yall_take_ec_stacks/
---
Today was mt first day with an EC stack (bronkaid 25 MG and caffeine 200 MG) . I took it around 10:30 am and it's currently 3 pm where I am now. I'm debating if I should take it again or not. So I was wondering, how often do you take it and in what dosage?

[Goal] Still far from satisfied, but here is my weight loss so far...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 25 13:00:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47l0bt/still_far_from_satisfied_but_here_is_my_weight/
---
http://i.imgur.com/9b6OIki.jpg

[Discussion] Morbidly hilarious/ironic observation I made today...
/u/dongledongs [5'6" | 146 lbs | GW 115 | 22.46 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 12:58:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47kzpi/morbidly_hilariousironic_observation_i_made_today/
---
As I was kneeling down in front of the toilet to purge, it really hit me how grotesque it was that I was in front of something as gross as a toilet. As the afternoon sun poked through the blinds and shone on that unholy porcelain bowl, I thought to myself, "Gross, this makes me nauseous, I could puke from how gross this is." And then I laughed. And I did.


Anybody else have any similar ironic/funny stories?

Disagree&Disobey
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 25 12:41:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47kvzj/disagreedisobey/
---
https://disagreedisobey.wordpress.com/

[Help] Any vegans here? Help me meal plan!
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149.6 | -7 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Thu Feb 25 11:20:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47keje/any_vegans_here_help_me_meal_plan/
---
I need to lose 50 more lbs by summer. I've been on such a huge binge streak and even consuming dairy products because I couldn't stop. I want to meal prep very low cal vegan meals, I'm going to the store tonight. I would appreciate any advice :)

*** I'm so sorry I can't flair, I'm on mobile

[Goal] I did it. I surprised myself and I did it.
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 110.6 | 16.63 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 11:19:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ke7e/i_did_it_i_surprised_myself_and_i_did_it/
---
I wanted to see, after a very ugly binge on Saturday, if I could fast for 100 hours. Well, I did! I did it and every day except the last day I got exercise on top of my 15,000 steps. I am so proud of myself. Day 2, I'd say, was (mostly) the hardest for me.

I also reached a new LW, *under 110!*

As pleased as I am I don't think I'm going to try this again for a while. In the last hours before and after I had some pretty fucked up dizzy spells and ended up vomiting bile. I felt much better when I woke up again but it could easily have gone south, I think. Thanks to everybody for their support, ilu all!

Often I visit here RE7qv2C0
/u/dfpyjnrobzamq
Created: Thu Feb 25 10:35:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47k34z/often_i_visit_here_re7qv2c0/
---
http://apartmentrentalratings.com/kjBUGIaWU

[Thinspo] Well, since we're doodling and stuff, here's an old doodle of mine! c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 25 10:32:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47k1ti/well_since_were_doodling_and_stuff_heres_an_old/
---
http://imgur.com/7YzPD97

[Tip] Loving my weight tracking app!
/u/Darling459
Created: Thu Feb 25 10:22:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47jzjz/loving_my_weight_tracking_app/
---
I weight myself obsessively everyday like I know a lot of you do and the up and down can drive me crazy and ruin my whole day. Recently I found this app the keeps track of the overall trend in a graph and it works better when you weigh in every single day. I'm obsessed. It's called happy scale :)

[Discussion] I just don't want to eat?
/u/dtrh78 [5'4'' | 133.2 | 23.31 | -11.8 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 09:30:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47jpgl/i_just_dont_want_to_eat/
---
I was supposed to have my salad and chicken breast at 11:30. I had planned it, I was hungry, and I was totally fine with eating it. But now it's 12:30, and that salad and chicken breast are still in my bag. It's not even like I was distracted and forgot to eat, I just don't want to. I'm not anxious or upset or feel like I don't deserve the food. I just don't want to eat it. It's the same feeling as when you're really tired and don't want to brush your teeth but you know you have to. Like eating it is an annoying chore that has to be done. Does this make any sense at all?

This is a very new feeling. I hope it lasts, because it's nice to not have any sort of anguish going on in my head about food. Does anyone else feel this way?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 25 09:02:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47jk1p/daily_food_diary_february_25_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] All I do is sit...
/u/VedAmoeba
Created: Thu Feb 25 09:01:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47jjv4/all_i_do_is_sit/
---
I'm an office worker so I sit for that vast majority of the day and it makes me feel like an absolute lardass. Does any one know any seated excercises that I can do while at my desk that aren't too obvious to my coworkers? Like maybe leg lifts under my desk or something? Any suggestions would be wonderful! Thanks, kittens. <3

[Discussion] What are your favorite websites?
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 08:52:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ji5z/what_are_your_favorite_websites/
---
I'm feeling down today and worried I'll binge. What are yor favorite websites? Normal ones, funny ones, ED ones, recipes, whatever. I just need a distraction.

[Rant/Rave] rant. is anyone else hideous ?
/u/assumngdirectcontrol [5' | 124lbs | 26 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 08:46:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47jgyt/rant_is_anyone_else_hideous/
---
I'm serious. here. [srs] tag.

I'm super gross. I had horrible untreated acne from years 10-18 of my life that left me with scars all over my face. The scars are so bad that they *crinkle* when I smile or make expressions. You can't cover the texture. my skin, now under control, is healing but the scars are there and will be there for a long time.

scars + doughy unfit body = ugly. But scars + flawless body = strange pretty girl with a strange face. everything looks amazing on skinny, and I can make up for my face by looking amazing everywhere else.

so shedding my weight is literally my clutch for life. I need this. I need to be a worthy person. I need to look like it.

rant over. just looking for like-minded people, anyone who can relate.

also, if you recognize me you'll notice my flair hasn't changed in two weeks. it hasn't. I gained 2, lost 2, gained 2, for the past two weeks... Binges man. fuck that. But I'm back on track.

I have a new reward system. :) 5 - 3 - 2.

125 is my start. -5lbs, reward. At 120, -3lbs, reward. at 117, -2lbs, biggest reward. That's -10lbs total, but three rewards in total.

Rewarding for every 5lbs was getting cumbersome and stressful. I binge when I'm stressed. :S

for the curious, my rewards are: a shiny new scale, hair dye, gym clothes & ear piercings.

Then for my next 10 (to take me to 105): gym sneakers, ear piercing, belly button piercing, but these are undecided. I'm trying to think of rewards that'll help motivate me.

[Discussion] Maybe a weekly OOTD thread? I always love seeing what everyone wears!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 25 08:13:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47jb5f/maybe_a_weekly_ootd_thread_i_always_love_seeing/
---
http://imgur.com/bouJbLe

[Discussion] My First EC Stack...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 25 06:58:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47iz07/my_first_ec_stack/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Broke my plateau! (aka fuck my plateau!) in time for a shopping trip this weekend. HYPE
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 97.0 | 17.66 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 06:45:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ix1n/broke_my_plateau_aka_fuck_my_plateau_in_time_for/
---
100.2lbs this morning! FINALLY. i am so so happy. I'll be 100lbs DEFINITELY by saturday: which is when I'm going out summer clothes shopping with a friend. I'm still worried about not fitting into the smallest size everywhere (my original goal was flat 99lbs by saturday but im just happy to be closer even if i dont hit it exactly), but I feel better, and less bloated, and less shitty about myself knowing that I finally broke away from that dreaded 102.2 on the scale. HA!

Im not sure what really did it, but if anyone else tracks their water using HydroCoach or whatever other app, I'd totally recommend only tracking literal water. Maybe that sounds obvious but i decided on monday that I'd stop counting diet soda and milk and all that in my water intake. So this was probs all water weight because i was too lenient. Learned my lesson! Stay hydrated beauties <3

[Tip] How to handle food cravings
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 06:25:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47iu3s/how_to_handle_food_cravings/
---
http://imgur.com/nqJxqGA

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support February 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 25 05:02:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ijzl/weekly_emotional_support_february_25_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

**As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.**

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] I hit two goals today!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Feb 25 04:32:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47igr5/i_hit_two_goals_today/
---
So so so so so so so HAPPY!
First, I reached my goal of being under 60 kg and with that came a BMI of under 20! Yay, yay, yay!

[Help] On the verge of a binge i need some thinspo pleaseeee
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 00:07:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47hqq6/on_the_verge_of_a_binge_i_need_some_thinspo/
---
Mobile sorry, no flair

Lovelies, I've been trying so hard to hold it together the past few days... 1400 cals mon, 1300 yesterday, 1200 today... and I'm seriously so close to binging...

Please send me some links to help me stay focused. Please...

I can feel my mouth in the weirdest way. I am fixated. I am so frustrated. Argh.

[Discussion] Bad EC stack experiences?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Feb 25 00:06:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47hqm2/bad_ec_stack_experiences/
---
I've seen tons of posts raving about EC stacks and I've almost picked up Bronkaid twice but chickened out both times. I've been stuck in a plateau for a fucking month due to binges and need a boost to get out of this rut, but I'm not 100% sold on EC stacks, mainly because I don't want to die. :-P How dangerous are they exactly?

[Discussion] Fitbit Friends?
/u/childshair [5'7" | 107.6 | 16.79 | -6.4 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 25 00:03:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47hqap/fitbit_friends/
---
My roommate just gave me her Fitbit and I wanna add some friends on there to keep me motivated!
I connected it with MFP since I find that easier to log food with :)
Let me know!

[Help] Going on a date tomorrow...
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 126 | 18.27 | -14 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 22:12:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47hdug/going_on_a_date_tomorrow/
---
Hey guys, going on my first date since I ended it with my long term, live in boyfriend.

I AM so nervous. How do I explain what I have(n't) been doing the last year? so much i don't want to explain or have come up. im just so nervous.

[Intro] Saying Hello
/u/livtobethin [5'8 | -11.6 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 21:27:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47h7j0/saying_hello/
---
I've opened and closed a tab for a new text submission probably 10 times now. I'm almost terrified to "come out of hiding" as it were, but here I am. I am been a lurker for a long while, finally made a throwaway in order to take part in the support and be able to comment myself. I miss the community that I used to have in LJ and Myspace (yeah I'm old) and couldn't seem to find it again, at least, that was until I found this subreddit. I've been on Reddit for about a year, and for some reason it's only just occurred to me this last month that there might be a such a place here.

I've had issues with eating for many, many years now. I've had body image issues for as long as I can remember. I come and go with my habits around food; I am anywhere from eating everything and anything and desperately pretending it doesn't kill me (never mind when I try to put on clothes to leave the house I can't breathe after looking into the mirror) to going on as few calories as I can get away with. I've been at my goal weight several times before, was convinced by an emotional someone that I didn't need to do what I was doing, and have yo-yo'd up and down, up and down. And man, am I up, up, up right now, probably the worst ever - but I'm working on it, and I'm positive about it.

Anyway, this is getting long, sorry. I'm just panicking about putting myself out there, I guess? But it also feels good because I can finally talk to other people again. Right now I am "dieting," my husband knows my past, and he knows how much I break down emotionally about weight. He just doesn't know how the thoughts consume everything and how it's all-or-nothing for me. Right now I'm on Medifast supposedly, but it's working to be a decent cover to ease back into my tracking and restricting. The schedule helps, as well, and has so far kept me from a binge since I started, and I've actually been losing weight as far as the scale says. I just need to keep it up. I will see 115 again.

I'm looking forward to getting know some of you and feeling like I might not be completely and utterly alone.

[Discussion] DAE binge eat fiber bars?
/u/existentialprimate [5'8.5 | 108 | 16.2 | 20 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 21:13:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47h5pk/dae_binge_eat_fiber_bars/
---
I've found this to be a better alternative to binging on dessert when the need strikes.

What do you swap out your wrecking ball food for that's a better alternative when self control flies away?

[Help] I need some advice on devising a meal plan
/u/anastory
Created: Wed Feb 24 21:10:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47h58j/i_need_some_advice_on_devising_a_meal_plan/
---
Around 4 years ago I started losing weight and I lost around 35lbs, over the last 1-2 years I've pretty much gained most of it back and I'm trying to start again. One of my problems right now is that I can't afford to get the dizzy spells or hunger cramps as much as I used to since I drive for a living (it would be plain dangerous...). And also, I'm on Accutane right now and will be for the next 5 months. When you take Accutane you have to take it with a meal rich in dietary fat. Any advice on meals without too much calorie intake but avoiding?

[Help] At a crossroads. Help?
/u/epontelier [5'7" | 117 | 18.42 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 21:08:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47h4wm/at_a_crossroads_help/
---
I've reached a point in my weight loss where I'm now technically underweight. I'm really happy with this and I love restricting and losing weight and waking up and seeing my hipbones -- just being a smaller person. It's work, but it's amazing!

A lot of people have noticed and said I looked better before, but I didn't really pay attention to their comments (or I took it as a compliment) until today my best-friend admitted to me honestly that I looked better when I was a few pounds heavier. She's known me our whole lives and knows me nearly better than myself, so I'm inclined to believe her. I think I want to be at a "healthy" weight again. But I don't know. It's so hard to make myself eat food. I've gotten in the habit of ignoring my hunger and letting it go away and I love the feeling of control that gives me. When I let myself eat, I feel like shit. I'm also scared that once I start gaining weight I'll never stop.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. I guess I want to ask you guys if you think I should try and gain weight again? Or should I keep going with what I'm doing? I'm so scared.

[Discussion] Thinking about doing more thinspo drawings. Any suggestions on what you'd like see to drawn?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 20:20:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47gy6v/thinking_about_doing_more_thinspo_drawings_any/
---
I really wanna start posting more art to inspire all of you wonderful folks!

You guys have honestly been great support for me, and I wanna be able to to inspire you and keep pushing you all forward!

Drawing body parts could definitely help me with anatomy and form; moreover, drawing male thinspo would TOTALLY help me with male anatomy (something I struggle with).

Do you have any particular quotes you'd like with an illustrated twist or body parts that'd you'd like to see drawn? ex: collar bones, hips bones, flat stomachs, etc. Maybe you could share images of outfits you like and I could try drawing then in different body types?

I love drawing and it really does distract me from eating/bingeing. By doing this I can push my creativity, improve my drawing skills and most of all inspire all of you. Any thoughts?

Edit: sometimes Swype makes me proofread things. Fixed wrong words

[Discussion] Just some thought on binging - what's your "ah-ha" moment?
/u/Olligale
Created: Wed Feb 24 19:17:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47gosz/just_some_thought_on_binging_whats_your_ahha/
---
I was actually thinking about this today. When I was growing up, showing emotions were not allowed in my family. At all. Not even happiness. If we expressed interest in something, the rest of the family would immediately attack and put us down for it. They would find a way to call it stupid or make us feel ashamed for it. Like, for example, I draw - but obviously when I was young I wasn't very good. Members of my family would make fun of me and even tear up the drawings. I finally realized one day during a serious binge that I was eating everything in the house because I was happy/sad/etc - never made the connection before. I think there was some guy I had really liked he told me he liked me too (uhm 6th grade?) and I immediately ran into the kitchen and started eating everything. I think I do this to make up for my lack of emotional expression.... never learned how to control it. I'm like 20 pounds heavier than I have ever been before....

[Rant/Rave] Eating is a compulsion
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 17:45:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47g8bv/eating_is_a_compulsion/
---
My therapist things my eating issues aren't just about food. She thinks they're a compulsion because i get obsessive when i want to, plus i have other stuff i thought was mildly weird, but she says sound obsessive. It makes sense, but I don't have another appointment for two weeks. She told me to track my binges, but not try to stop them. I've been restricting like mad because I've been binging like mad too. This just sucks.


[Help] [Help] Any advice for better posture?
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 17:30:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47g5o5/help_any_advice_for_better_posture/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47g5o5/help_any_advice_for_better_posture/

[Rant/Rave] inpatient update: one week
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 17:03:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47g0qn/inpatient_update_one_week/
---
I've been in inpatient for a week now. I thought I'd post an update because I'm super bored and having a really rough day.

I've been feeling really depressed since I've been here, but especially today. My selfharm and suicidal thoughts are through the roof and the ed voice won't fucking shut up.

Most meals have been ok, typical hospital food. But I had a breakdown over a sandwich the other day. I just started bawling my eyes out because I hate sandwiches, especially egg salad.

Today was med review, I got 2 15 minute passes a day to go smoke which is awesome. But they also said that my bmi is almost 16, that puts me at around 100lbs. I feel so fucking fat. All I hear in my head is how fat, disgusting and a failure I am. I've gained faster than they thought I would, so I'll probably start group therapy on Monday.

I just want to lose this weight. I feel disgusting and horrible and fat. I hate myself, but I know I should try recovery, but I just want to go home and starve myself.

I'm on a general psychiatric unit. Most people here are nice. There's this one guy who is such an asshole, everyone hates him!

Sorry, this turned into a really long post, I just feel so lonely

Edit: And my roommate is so thin. She is so triggering.

[Rant/Rave] Chocolate is my fucking VICE and thank you all for just being here.
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 17:03:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47g0ou/chocolate_is_my_fucking_vice_and_thank_you_all/
---
So, last friday our orchestra held a fundraiser called "Spaghetti Dinner." Every year the dinner has a silent auction and every class period came up with something to sell for the auction. Well, my class chose to do a "Chocolate Basket." Great! Sounds fun! Well, guess who won the basket for the auction. *My. Dad.* ***He spent 75 USD on that chocolate basket*** and it was filled with Twix Easter Eggs, Hershey's Deluxe Kisses, Mini Snickers, Hershey's Special Dark Fun Sized Chocolates, and we already had Butterfingers at home. And I just ate a shit tonne of them.

I don't know how to feel. I just felt kinda numb when I binged on it. I don't even like Hershey's milk chocolate that much! I feel remorseful, and I know when I sleep tonight I'll be antagonizing it, but right now I just have to get this off my chest. I can't tell my mom, my friends, **I can't tell anyone but you guys.** **and to be able to tell just someone?**

**That feels good.**

I finally had just lost 6 lbs and I was so afraid of caving in. Annnnd I caved. I did a few ab workouts and then I caved again.

I just wanna cry. I know I shouldn't punish myself and that I can restrict tomorrow, but it's an endless cycle. As soon as I get home, I head straight to the fridge. I tell myself as I'm walking from the bus stop, "*just avoid that damned fridge and you'll be okay,"* and I go ahead and **EAT** and **EAT**. At least I made a promise with a friend to stop eating peanutbutter for a month (and I've stopped eating nuts too because those trigger binges).

I'm trying to stay positive( and I know you need 3500 calories to gain a pound) but sometimes you just don't think rationally :/ I'll just study and draw for the rest of the night; I'll chew on some gum; I'll do anything to just fucking stop. **I want to stop.**

**I need to stop.**



I thought about fasting on Friday, but you know what? I'm doing it **TONIGHT** and continuing on to tomorrow and friday. 2-day-liquid-fast. I will fucking do it. Every time I tried, I caved. **This. Fucking. Ends. Now.**

**I will do this.**

Every time I walk near that fridge. Any time I step into that kitchen, I will remind myself of you guys and my promise to **all of you.**

Sorry for the long and ranty post. Wish me best of luck.

[Tip] Once you learn this, it's easier to choose what to eat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 24 16:00:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47fova/once_you_learn_this_its_easier_to_choose_what_to/
---
http://imgur.com/hUVLYTT

[Tip] Who doesn't love green tea?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 24 15:52:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47fnfn/who_doesnt_love_green_tea/
---
http://imgur.com/KK1Nb6U

[Help] So about teas.
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Wed Feb 24 15:34:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47fivc/so_about_teas/
---
Edit! How does anyone feel about traditional medicinal organic chamomile with lavender, caffeine free?


I've never been a tea person but everyone here seems so be obsessed. Why? Does it help tame hunger and tame binges?

Anyways how does everyone feel about yogi green blueberry slim life.... it says it energizes and supports a dieting program. Never had hot tea before, but if it kills hunger I'm in. So I'm guessing take a bronkaid and some tea and it'll help settle a hungry tummy?

Also, I've pretty much been living on coffee water and bananas. Bananas are so filling to me. Any thoughts?

[Discussion] Put off any thoughts of recover by obese "ex-anorexic" friend
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 123lbs | BMI 19.2| Weight Lost: 22.5lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Feb 24 15:16:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47feil/put_off_any_thoughts_of_recover_by_obese/
---
Girl I'm sort of friends with who likes to overshare and exaggerate told me out of nowhere about how she was anorexic and was recovering and put on a "tiny amount of weight" and her grandma pinched it and asked where it came from.

Granted I haven't known her long personally but I've never seen a photo of her underweight by any amount and she was absent mindedly scraping a pan of rice pudding for any remainders as she told me.

It's put me off food completely. I shudder to think I could get like that. I can't imagine telling acquaintances about this part of my life. It was just so jarring and nauseating to see and hear. Ugh.

[Help] How do I feel so out of control at 1140 calories??
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 15:16:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47fehf/how_do_i_feel_so_out_of_control_at_1140_calories/
---
I was only going to have ~500 cqloroes but then i had a salad and cookies delivered and im at 1140ish and i want to eat literally everything and i feel awful even though i know beyond a doubt that im below my bmr of 1400

[Rant/Rave] Four Months: No Results
/u/KingofSuicides [Height | CW | BMI | Weight Lost | Gender]
Created: Wed Feb 24 15:07:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47fbz5/four_months_no_results/
---
I'm devastated.

Back in November I got a new family doctor, my first one in 10 years. I was weighed at 170lbs - the largest I've ever been in my life. That day, I resolved to drastically change my eating habits. I started using the FatSecret app to keep track of my calories and have aimed for 1000 calories a day.

Since my body needs 1500 a day to do its basic function and, according to every calculator and site I could find, I needed to consume 2000 calories to maintain my weight, I figured that 1000 calories a day would result in me dropping weight.

Well, it's been four months, I stepped on the scale today and it told me I weighed 170.0 lbs. I haven't lost a single pound. I immediately went back into my phone and looked at my history for the last four months. There were a few days where I consumed 1200 calories in a day but ... I've kept to 1000 or less a day for four fucking months ...

I'm so disgusted with myself. I can't believe I have *nothing* to show for all the changes I've made in my eating habits. I must be missing calories somewhere - that's the only explanation. That I'm over-eating and not realizing it.

Apparently I can't trust myself. So I'm just going to stop eating. No more food period. I will drink water and that's it. That's exactly what I deserve for failing so colossally at something so fucking simple.

[Discussion] BMI question
/u/dbishop22
Created: Wed Feb 24 15:03:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47faqn/bmi_question/
---
How many of you have tried to figure out your frame size? Do you use it when you calculate your BMI? I measured my wrist circumference and it's 5.6 inches, but I'm about 5'0 so I'm not really into the idea that I'm already at a BMI of 24. I'm still very lumpy, and can still grab whole handfuls of fat on my stomach, and thighs. Just curious how many people use it.

I'm almost at the point of giving up on BMI and going off body fat percentage.

[Help] I just had 702 kcal for lunch... ugh
/u/kly_0301 [5'2" | 132 | 24.14 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 15:01:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47fa7s/i_just_had_702_kcal_for_lunch_ugh/
---
I've been restricting to 650 kcal max per day and I was doing so great! I was so proud! but the scale didn't move! So I got depressed and binged on everything I saw at the moment! I'm so glad I managed to stop.. but still :(! I had 702 kcal for lunch (I was going to have a 198 kcal lunch, I'm so dissapointed) + 209 (breakfast) = 911 kcal total. At least is less than 1000 kcal, but only if I can control my binging impulses and skip dinner... ugh! What can I do to stop binging? and why didn't the scale move? should I decrease my daily calorie intake? Help!


(Sorry, I know my grammar isn't the best, I'm not a native English speaker)

DAE buy smaller clothes or motivation?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149.6 | -7 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Wed Feb 24 14:32:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47f2ua/dae_buy_smaller_clothes_or_motivation/
---
Im thinking of buying size 0 jeans so I can look at them whenever I feel like bingeing or breaking a fast. Had anyone else done this?

[Goal] Technically underweight :3
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Wed Feb 24 13:22:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47engk/technically_underweight_3/
---
Yay!! I'm so happy. I weighed myself this morning and I'd lost 2 more pounds, putting my BMI at 18.35 :D

I'm underweight! Just barely though, and I don't really look like it...

But I'm still very happy about itšŸ˜Œ

[Goal] Guess what size of shirt I wear now?
/u/4st00lbs [5'1" | 106.0 | 20.25]
Created: Wed Feb 24 13:18:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47emp9/guess_what_size_of_shirt_i_wear_now/
---
http://i.imgur.com/82yMxO8.jpg

[Tip] Made a great stew/chili for lunch and wanted to share
/u/thininsp
Created: Wed Feb 24 12:27:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ecy8/made_a_great_stewchili_for_lunch_and_wanted_to/
---
There is no meat/meat substitute in this. You could easily add it and figure out the calories. This was so easy to make. I just chopped everything tiny and then stuck it all in the pot with one can of water, some cumin, chili flakes, salt, and garlic powder. It makes 10 servings of 186.3g each, which is a decent amount I think. YMMV

[Here is the recipe](http://imgur.com/Ibtih0i). Basically I weighed each veg as they went into the pot, then after it was all cooked I transferred it to a new bowl that I had tared on the scale, then divided by 10 to get the serving size in grams. You could even add some chicken broth to your bowl when you put the veg in to get a bigger portion size with very little added calorie (about 10 cals). I literally just took any veg in my fridge that needed to be used up and threw it in there.

[Goal] Restriction is Magic
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 12:26:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ecqq/restriction_is_magic/
---
So, two days at 500 cals has brought me down from 169.6 to 165.8

I know some of this is just water weight after a high sodium weekend. But still. 3.8lbs in two days! šŸ˜Š so happy about this, makes me hope I can get to my 160 goal for my March 10 vacay after all!

Wahooooo!

[Help] good calcium sources?
/u/skinnyb0y [5Ā“9 | 116 | 16,82 | -18lbs | male]
Created: Wed Feb 24 12:10:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47e9p7/good_calcium_sources/
---
ideally vegan ones, that arenĀ“t fortified processed products and most importantly they have to be low in calories.

[Discussion] 20 min after morning EC Stack
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 12:05:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47e8p4/20_min_after_morning_ec_stack/
---
http://imgur.com/rt3S5lk

[Tip] How do you deal with headaches?
/u/throwawayfoodthinspo
Created: Wed Feb 24 11:21:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47e05c/how_do_you_deal_with_headaches/
---
I'm starting a fast today but I always get really bad headaches when fasting. I ate a little lunch (low fat yogurt and a banana) since I'm in school but mostly I drink black coffee, tea and water throughout the day. The headache won't go away if I take pain-relievers so...what do you do? Do you experience headaches?

[Discussion] Non-Food Rewards for Reaching your GWs?
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 100.5 lb | 19.04 | -19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 11:01:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47dwcv/nonfood_rewards_for_reaching_your_gws/
---
Hi all! I was just wondering if anyone else has something planned for certain weights and we can share ideas and such... like for instance, when I reach 95 I will make an appointment at a really good hairstylist in my town to get my hair styled and possibly bleached.... I've always considered blonde to be the perfect hair color for skinny girls, and I've always wanted to try blonde, so when I am skinny I'll feel like I deserve it... what about y'all?

[Rant/Rave] I'm absolutely freezing right now
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 106 lbs | 18.75 | -48 lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 24 10:35:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47dr6e/im_absolutely_freezing_right_now/
---
No matter what I do I just cannot get warmer ever since I stood in the cold waiting for the train, which was yesterday. Tea, heating pad, blankets sweaters, nothing fucking works and it's working on my nerves. I cannot even concentrate as this cold is taking over all my attention, it's like my body is cold from the inside out. :( Fuck this.

On a happier note I resisted buying fries with glorious satƩ sauce while waiting, even though the smell was reeeaaally tempting and everyone had some. :D

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 24 09:02:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47da8c/daily_food_diary_february_24_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant/Rave] Watching other people eat absolutely disgusts me
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 08:57:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47d9dl/watching_other_people_eat_absolutely_disgusts_me/
---
Today i was having lunch and I realized a middle aged overweight women (not obese) was just eating nonstop. She was eating bacon without pause then started eating chicken wings and finally had an ice cream. I was disgusted because she wasn't even looking at the food, she wasnt enjoying it. I couldn't stop watching. I swear it made me wanna throw up.
Maybe im just bitchy but I just wanted to tell her something like "Didn't someone teach you table manners?!"


I really hate watching people eat, and I feel guilty because I feel like I'm being weird...It just recently started and im not only feeling disgusted with myself but watching others eat disgust me too.




[Intro] Friend?
/u/VedAmoeba
Created: Wed Feb 24 08:40:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47d6dm/friend/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Workout fluff (doodle)
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 08:15:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47d1wc/workout_fluff_doodle/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/G3P2a

[Help] quick question!
/u/hydropons [5'1" | 84 lbs (new!) | 15.5 | -4 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 08:06:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47d0cl/quick_question/
---
so today i started my journey into EC stacks, and i realized that i dont know how nicotine interacts with that! will it cancel it out ir make the stimulant effect way too high? i naturally have really low blood pressure, so i dont think i have to worry about high blood pressure, but starting new things is scary Q\^Q

[Rant/Rave] Stuffing myself with food won't make me happy
/u/LeicesterSquare [1.83 m | 60 kg | 17.92 | M]
Created: Wed Feb 24 07:15:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47crye/stuffing_myself_with_food_wont_make_me_happy/
---
There are many things going on in my life right now and all the stress this morning triggered a binge worth more than 1000 calories. Now other than stressed and upset I also feel disgusting. Why won't my brain stop doing this to me? Ugh. I'm planning to fast to rebalance my calories and peace of mind.

[Thinspo] Keira Knightley in "Pride & Prejudice" is
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 24 07:01:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47cps0/keira_knightley_in_pride_prejudice_is/
---
SUCH AN ELEGANT, DELICATE LOVELY! <3

[Help] DAE have the upper arm as a major problem area?
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 45.0 kg (100 lbs) | Binged 7-9 March]
Created: Wed Feb 24 06:46:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47cnjf/dae_have_the_upper_arm_as_a_major_problem_area/
---
Even at my lowest weight, I've always had really thick upper arms (just above the tricep bulge). When I first started getting into weight training, the shape changed a little, and my triceps became more defined, but the little wings at the uppermost part of my arm never shrank.

Now, after so many cycles of binge/restricting, my upper arms are freaking wings. My arms are my biggest trigger - they're the only part of me that were never skinny.

Even at my highest weights I still had a thigh gap and visible ribs. But my arms, my arms, my arms...any advice or experiences most welcome.

[Thinspo] Small album of miscellaneous thinspo
/u/4st00lbs [5'1" | 106.0 | 20.25]
Created: Wed Feb 24 03:57:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47c1o8/small_album_of_miscellaneous_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/P1FW2

[Goal] I can fit into 24" F21 jeans
/u/4st00lbs [5'1" | 106.0 | 20.25]
Created: Wed Feb 24 03:01:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47bvn8/i_can_fit_into_24_f21_jeans/
---
For the first time that I can remember, I can fit into my F21 24" jeans. A very tight fit around the hips, but they still fit! I am so glad of this development. It was killing me, having to wear 25"-26" things.

I think that the F21 things may run slightly small - I can fit into AA 23-"-24" skirts perfectly fine, and these jeans, I'd say, are tighter than those.

[Rant/Rave] why do i do this?
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 114.4 lb | 22.34 | -13.5| Female]
Created: Wed Feb 24 01:53:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47bodx/why_do_i_do_this/
---
URGH i was doing SO well and then fucking binged two days in a row. like not an AWFUL binge. but bad enough to make me hate myself. Like i am finally OKAY (nowhere close to where i want to be) but looking better when i look in the mirror so then i think its okay to eat cookies? WTF SMH why do i always ruin it. sorry for the rant

[Rant/Rave] Being safer makes it less satisfying.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 23 23:01:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47b540/being_safer_makes_it_less_satisfying/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Happy Birthday to me...
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Tue Feb 23 22:48:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47b3hn/happy_birthday_to_me/
---
I binged on my birthday cake so I had to make an exude to go wash my hair...sigh.

At least I got it all out and my tummy is almost flat as usual instead of swelled up with a giant food-baby.

I'd been doing so well :( I'd gone almost a week with no binging and I was steadily losing weight but then...Happy birthday!

I told myself I'd have a small slice, one serving- 300 calories. I'd budgeted for it. It would fit in my calorie goal. But then I decided to have another and a glass of milk :(

So now I've sent a fourth of my birthday cake down the shower drain...I feel guilty...it's strange, I usually don't


[Rant/Rave] No one else would understand..
/u/thininsp
Created: Tue Feb 23 20:58:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ao8r/no_one_else_would_understand/
---
My husband made me tea tonight. He was so happy about it. And... He put a teaspoon of sugar in it. My calories were perfect today... And now if I drink the tea I am over my goal. If I don't drink the tea he will be hurt and disappointed because he was doing something nice and made it the way I usually drink it. It's my fault I didn't tell him no sugar. So now I'm staring at my tea weighing the gravity of one teaspoon of sugar. /sigh

[Thinspo] Very large alternative / gothpastel / bondage thinspo album
/u/watchmedisappear [5'6" | FAT | -32lb since 1/20/16 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 20:35:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47akpu/very_large_alternative_gothpastel_bondage_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/P8CPY

[Discussion] 3 month update
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 106 | 17.2| F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 20:23:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47aiqc/3_month_update/
---
Hi dear people,

My last post I shared with you my experience quiting the pill. I lost body fat and all the liquit I was retaining, my appetite also reduced. The first month it went cool, but my period didn't come and It was lost for 2 month. I went to the doctor for an ecography, my cystics came back, they had to induce my period with progestenone pills to start with the contraceptive pill again to controll my cystics.

I gained back a lot of weight specially in my tummy, I have sugar cravings all day, even when I am already full. I can't stop eatig. I gained 6 pounds back. I hate this. My skin has a terrible brake out. This is a hormone tornado.

I need to focus and stop eatin so much junk, at least just binge on salad. I started to binge and purge again. And now that I am on my brake of the pill (7day) I just bought laxatives, I took 4 today and still don't work, I am worry. I cant purge after taking the contraceptive pill or use laxatives in convination because it looses effect. Cofffe, fruits and veggies, only that.
Any recomendations for the sugar cravings? I love the thinspiration and it really helps.

thank you all!

[Thinspo] Statuesque
/u/4st00lbs [5'1" | 106.0 | 20.25]
Created: Tue Feb 23 20:15:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ahgm/statuesque/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Xmtocp0.jpg

[Rant/Rave] Y'all are the only people who could vaguely understand this
/u/risingaurora
Created: Tue Feb 23 20:12:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47ah3d/yall_are_the_only_people_who_could_vaguely/
---
So one of my closest friends that I've ever had ditched me. Part of the reason was because of my eating disorder. I told her, and have constantly stated that if she were uncomfortable with talking about it that she could just tell me because we were close enough to where it wouldn't be an issue. Well, apparently not. She was very open with her disorder with me. I've known that she's had issues with eating for five years, three of those I've spent with her. I would take her to eat and make sure that she didn't die of a heart attack or starvation or something, even if it were just a little bit. It didn't matter to me how bad she got, I was always there. It took up her entire personality, I was there. She passed out, I was there.

I've developed an eating disorder in the past year. So when I told her she was okay and wanted me to talk to her about it and support me (not in an Ana Buddy way, she just wanted me to have someone to talk to). After a while I saw her grow uncomfortable about the topic and so I talked about it less.

Then she started dating this guy who got her to eat a little more (for medical reasons). I was happy that she was eating even though I wasn't but all of a sudden she just stopped talking to me. One day I asked her if she could come get some food with me to eat and she very rudely told me "no" and that I would have to get over myself and suck it up and eat alone. I didn't eat that day. I literally felt so horrible that she would say that to me as a friend. I knew she didn't want to recover, but I didn't know she would take whatever the hell emotions she had hung up out on me like that. So I didn't eat.

So she stopped talking to me. When I asked her about it she said that she was just being avoidant and that she just didn't want to hear me talk about my ED since she had to eat. She ignored me for two weeks before I had to go up to her and say something. I was okay with not talking about it. I talked to her about not talking to me again that week and she said we were okay, but I knew we weren't okay. I just knew it. I wasn't surprised when she didn't talk to me again the next day.

We taught each other how to trust. I remember the day I met her three years ago, I invited her over to my house and I asked her to tell me her life story. I told her mine that night too. We've never had hang ups like this in the past. We were just honest. I think I've lost all sense of trust, and if not, I want to starve it out. I'm afraid that if I look her in the eyes I'll get irrationally mad.

I never thought I could hate her of all people. The moment that my ED takes a turn for the worst she turns her back on me? What kind of a friend does that? I held her when she passed out in my arms and fed her soup so she didn't die on me. I'm upset that she doesn't care about me that way. Honestly, I'm LIVID with her. I am annoyed, I am angry, and I am livid. No part of me can talk to her without starting to yell, so I'm not going to talk to her. I fucking hate this. I fucking HATE being mad at someone I care about. I think the worst part is is that she doesn't know how I feel. It's not as if I told her that we aren't friends. There's no clean break. There's no date which our friendship died. It just DID.




What do I do? I'm lost. Someone, just help.

[Thinspo] Wanted to share some of my favorites. Anyone else look at dancers for thinspo?
/u/AnnaArkadyevna [5'9" | 205.5 | 30.27 | -49 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 19:38:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47abnn/wanted_to_share_some_of_my_favorites_anyone_else/
---
http://imgur.com/a/5bSB4

[Goal] Just reached 4 goals at once!
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 19:24:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47a9fb/just_reached_4_goals_at_once/
---
Not even mini-goals. Like actual goals I've had my mind on reaching for a looong time; I'm under 45kg! (44.4) which means I'm also under 100lbs (97.8) And *just* under 7 stone (6 stone 13.8 lbs). All thanks to the final goal I reached ; I completed a 72 hours fast (I guess I haven't really completed it, I'm at 73,5 hours & still going) It sounds weird to have that many goals but most of my friends (and people on here) are American so I love being able to say I'm under 100lbs. I'm european so obviously I always weigh myself in kg, and I'd say being under 45 is a tiny milestone. It was a goal anyway. And my boyfriend is english & very into skinny girls so being able to tell him I'm finally under 7 stone is great :). Anyway, my plan going forward is to break this fast (at some point, but I've been going for so long that I'm pretty much attached to it. It'll be like smothering my child with a pillow to break it.) Then eat slightly normally for a couple of days to get my hormones back to normal, hopefully without binging, then probably start another fast bc I just love doing it too damn much. I might keep going for a bit longer but I know I really need to eat, so unless you see a "reached 100hrs" post in 2 days, it's fair to assume I made some ramen after posting this and ate 290kcal of chicken-flavoured guilt.

(meaning /u/silver_sylph * wins * , **dammit**.) I know updating my flair is gonna be hella unrealistic since I'm gonna a bunch of weight from eating anything, but having my flair as a weight I was at some point but no longer am feels like lying. And I hate lying, so I'll use that as motivation to get back down quickly. This post is way too long, I'm just too exited & kinda high from fasting.

[Help] Almost at the end of my third day fasting, scared of not knowing when I'll stop :/
/u/_in_control_ [Height 5'4| CW 108 | BMI 18.54| GW: 105 Gender F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 18:44:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47a3ft/almost_at_the_end_of_my_third_day_fasting_scared/
---
I'm terrified of blacking out, so I've been drinking tons of 0 calorie sports drinks for the electrolytes, and it seems to have been working--minimal dizziness although I'm very lethargic.


Yesterday I ran and did hot yoga, today I lifted weights and walked to and from school which is about an hour total, and I feel completely fine. Black coffee and diet pills have been enough to keep me productive, maybe even more than the average day.

I feel like I could keep going forever. I told my boyfriend I had a big lunch so I'm skipping dinner and he believed me. Tomorrow I have school stuff until 9 or so--I could easily fast all of tomorrow too. Is it fucked up to just keep going until I have to stop? I've never gone past two days before so this is uncharted territory...

Also what is the likelihood of blacking out? That is my worst fear.

[Intro] Hi, anyone want to be friends?
/u/mybfdoesntknowthis [5'3 | 156 | 29.36 | 0.0 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 18:03:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/479x9g/hi_anyone_want_to_be_friends/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Glorious size 1's. Think I could do it by summer?
/u/burtra12
Created: Tue Feb 23 17:29:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/479rsq/glorious_size_1s_think_i_could_do_it_by_summer/
---
http://imgur.com/wY43TEH

[Discussion] What is going on in your life right now that is distracting you from your goal?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 17:24:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/479r2h/what_is_going_on_in_your_life_right_now_that_is/
---
**Trigger Warning**


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I was raped by a coworker 3 and a half years ago and last Friday his desk was moved right next to mine. My immediate reaction to stress is, of course, eating. I am trying so hard not to fucking stuff my face with whatever is nearby. I was feeling so confident in myself and how I've been dressing and actually putting effort into how I look but now my brain is telling me to become as unattractive as possible to avoid his attention. Goddamn it.



**EDIT:** You guys, thank you for your support. I've never told anyone about this, aside from my psychiatrist in the hospital and my therapists. I never reported it because I felt like it was my fault that it happened- if I had only done x then it never would have happened. I've been working on removing the blame from myself for the last 3 years and some days I feel confident that it's not my fault and other days I feel like I could have prevented it. I feel like I'm now in a place where I can start putting it behind me but, of course, this development is a bump in the road. But I want to use it as a motivator and improve my life while simultaneously giving him a big FUCK YOU because I'm getting my shit together again after he fucking ruined me. I really love all of you and I love how supportive this sub is- I'm so glad I found it.

[Intro] New here and could use some support
/u/adiposefighter [5'6 | CW: 153lbs | BMI: 23.96 | LBs Lost: 22 | GW: 115lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 16:48:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/479l30/new_here_and_could_use_some_support/
---
Hey y'all, I'm new here and honestly I've only been lurking for a few days but I love it here. Everyone is so kind, and the topics are always amazing.

A bit about me: I was first diagnosed with EDNOS when I was about 20 (I'm 25 now), but I've been obsessed with my weight and my body since I was like...7 or 8 if not younger. I've had a few issues with my diagnosis from "I should try harder to have a *real* eating disorder" (which is fucking dumb, EDNOS is a real eating disorder), to "this is probably just body dysmorphia" to "this is just a symptom of my depression, and I'm just faking it", but in any case, here I am.

The past two years have been pretty ok as far as my weight goes: I dropped 50lbs and went from 195-145 in 6 months...but then I got a job and I couldn't work out as much nor eat as little and slowly I've put on 30 lbs. I finally got fed up enough to do something about it earlier this week and, after a week of binging (subjective), I've started a water fast.

I'm a little scared...I know what's down this path and I hate hating myself, but I also know that I was the best person I've ever been when I was at 145, and if I could get even lower than that, I'd feel even better about myself.

Here's where I could use some support: I'm on day 3 of the water fast and it's *hard*. I'm seriously struggling. I know, because I've fasted before (my high score is 14 days, I'm aiming for 28-30 but I'll be ok with 21), that days 2 and 3 are the hardest for me, and all the thoughts of "you've come far enough" and "just eat, you've already lost 5lbs!" start coming in, but I also know that I'll gain at least 5lbs back once I start eating, and at this point I can still feel the cravings for all my binge foods. It's like my body is a child saying "if you just get me a puppy, I promise to walk it and clean up after it and feed it". I'm not that responsible, not yet. Still...getting through today has been a struggle.

[Discussion] Let's keep adding more reasons in the comments!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 23 16:33:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/479iif/lets_keep_adding_more_reasons_in_the_comments/
---
http://imgur.com/mUSpyIA

[Tip] And most important thing it's 0 calories! ;)
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 16:29:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/479hvd/and_most_important_thing_its_0_calories/
---
http://imgur.com/qhSXSBZ

[Goal] For the first time in ten years...
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Tue Feb 23 15:20:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4795j6/for_the_first_time_in_ten_years/
---
... I can wrap my middle finger and my thumb around my wrist and they touch! It is such a small change, but it feels great!

[Discussion] Do you keep a journal?
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 15:07:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47938s/do_you_keep_a_journal/
---
I really need to get back on track and I want to keep a journal for this. I don't have a printer, so I have to do everything by hand. I was wondering if any of you are keeping a journal and how it looks or if you got some tips for me?

[Discussion] Just took my first bronkaid
/u/Darling459
Created: Tue Feb 23 14:14:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/478tl2/just_took_my_first_bronkaid/
---
I'm nervous! I'm currently drinking and hoping it helps curb my appetite since I've been on the verge of a binge all day. Does anyone know how long it typically take to start working and how much coffee I'm supposed to drink with it?

[Help] Strange question...
/u/sealedwithakiss [5'4.5" | 116.2 | 19.94 | -19| F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 13:55:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/478q9b/strange_question/
---
So due to an orthopedic condition one of my legs is **AT LEAST** an inch (probably more like 1.5-2" at this point due to muscle atrophy) shorter than the other.

I never know what to do in terms of BMI calculations in regards to height. Logically, I know the difference between 5'4" (162.56 cm) and 5'4" (165.1 cm) is minimal but I'm so preoccupied with the numbers...

Which height should I use when computing? My shortest leg/height, or the longest?

[Discussion] Eating on a schedule?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 13:52:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/478pnp/eating_on_a_schedule/
---
My current plan of "eat as little as I can throughout the day and hope for the best" is not working. I get home and eat way too much. I saw a comment someone posted yesterday about eating every x hours to stave off hunger so I'm trying it today. For those of you who eat on a schedule, how often do you eat? Do you *make* yourself eat something, even if you know you could go without it? Do you set a goal of eating at least/at most x number of calories each time you eat? Thank you, lovelies Ɯ

[Help] Fasting glucose level below normal.
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 145lbs|22.8|-40lbs|F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 13:32:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/478m6d/fasting_glucose_level_below_normal/
---
I had an annual physical done and had to have a fasting glucose test. My results came back below normal.

I've been doing IF 20/4 for a few weeks with cheat days. I'm just trying to understand if the test results and IF are related and if so - why?

Thank you to anyone who took the time time read and answer!

[Rant/Rave] What's the point [I just need to get this off my chest]
/u/electille [5'7 | 123 | 19.2 | ?]
Created: Tue Feb 23 13:30:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/478ls7/whats_the_point_i_just_need_to_get_this_off_my/
---
I've been struggling w quietly recovering on my own and subsequently feeling like a fat ol pig all the time and idk how long I can keep this up

Like, nobody cares if I eat more and my body is disgusting anyways who fucking cares if I lose my muscle and shape, whatever, my boyfriend isn't interested in me anymore anyways so what's the fucking point he was the only one keeping me from relapsing and he was my motivation to recover and get muscles and booty but now he doesn't care and he always forgets to eat and I feel so fat and disgusting eating next to him

I'm the fucking worst I just should stop eating what's the point its just a waste of money and time its wasted on me I'm so disgusting

[Rant/Rave] I hate my birthday.
/u/beadsofjade [5'4 | nah | 24 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 13:17:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/478ji0/i_hate_my_birthday/
---
It was great when I was a kid and didn't give a shit about calories but as soon as I hit middle school, that flew out the window.

Now it's just some bullshit day where I'm forced to have dinner with my parents, talk about stuff I don't want to talk about and act like I don't notice my mom staring at my plate the entire time.

Someone kill me now.

[Thinspo] Before and after
/u/fire-child [5'7" | idek | f]
Created: Tue Feb 23 13:09:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/478i3c/before_and_after/
---
http://i.imgur.com/kCqpMwi.jpg

[Discussion] Can anyone explain...?
/u/VedAmoeba
Created: Tue Feb 23 12:33:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/478bum/can_anyone_explain/
---
I've been looking into ED and I've seen a lot of articles and posts surrounding the subject of starting this type of lifestyle just to lose a few pounds and then not being able to stop and losing control.
I was wondering if anyone has experienced that feeling if you could help me understand WHY it is that you can't/couldn't stop. I really appreciate any feedback on this subject and I hope this post isn't offensive or triggering for anyone. :)

[Help] Threatening to stop being friends if I don't "get better"
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 146 | 25.5 | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 11:38:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/478232/threatening_to_stop_being_friends_if_i_dont_get/
---
Lately I've been more open with people about my eating disorder. I've been really depressed and apathetic and just don't care about whether or not people know, which I know is stupid but I really just don't care anymore.

But I'm not even super convinced that I'm still disordered. At this point it's not so much that I care about losing weight, it's just that this is how I this is what I'm used to and I don't care enough to change it. I feel like it's more of a depression thing, but I don't know.

I met up with an old friend yesterday who asked about it and I told her pretty straight up that I haven't gotten better and don't plan to. She said that we couldn't be friends unless I was actively trying to get better (which affects a larger mutual group of friends as well). She.

Like I said I really don't care about eating or not eating, or much really anymore. So if being friends with this group of people is going to take me eating more then whatever I can do it. But it's still not good enough for her. She still won't be friends unless I actively really want to change and I'm not there. She keeps saying that I'm a smart person and I should know all the terrible things I'm doing to my body. And I am aware that I'm hurting my body, but I JUST DONT CARE. I'll eat to appease her but it's not good enough for her. Should I just lie? Should I just cut her off?

I don't even know if I'm making sense right now I'm just confused and angry and I need advice.

[Discussion] What's your earliest memory of body awareness?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 102.8 | 18.71 | -12.2 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 09:55:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/477hgu/whats_your_earliest_memory_of_body_awareness/
---
Just curious. So much of the literature traces EDs, esp anorexia (which I never had) to wanting to delay puberty and remain child-like (is that still a thing?). But I never even thought about my body or what I could do to it, I mean like I wasn't even really aware that I had a body. Normal weight active kid, lots of sports, solid build as always but never overweight. But when I was I think 8 - in third grade - Chris Libby called me "fatty" as a joke and I have literally never not felt like a fatty since. Like a switch flipped. Since then I've basically built my life, work/hobbies/relationships into one big trigger - fashion and media-adjacent careers, fitness culture, food culture, blah blah - but sometimes I wonder how else it could have gone.

**Edit**: Whoa, holy inbox. These are amazing. And I wish I could go back in time and give all the baby versions of us a hug :(

[Intro] New here :) just wanted to introduce myself a bit.
/u/lavendargirl [5'1" | 145 :( | 28.61| F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 09:38:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/477eht/new_here_just_wanted_to_introduce_myself_a_bit/
---
I've been struggling with this for as long as I can remember. My dad has always made fun of fat people, and my mother has always had an ED (never will admit it though). Just grew up with it. I want to be down to 100. Long ways to go but I am determined. My boyfriend is very skinny and looks very good. I on the other hand...not so much. I feel like a giant around him.
So glad I came across this subreddit!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 23 09:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4778a9/daily_food_diary_february_23_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] How do you like to spice up your tuna?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 23 08:45:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4775ir/how_do_you_like_to_spice_up_your_tuna/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] "Sleepless" by Jessica Lea Mayfield. She gets it.
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 08:37:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47742z/sleepless_by_jessica_lea_mayfield_she_gets_it/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYvBrQAGBIQ

[Rant/Rave] I can't trust my new scale at all and it's driving me crazy.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 97.0 | 17.66 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 08:36:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/477415/i_cant_trust_my_new_scale_at_all_and_its_driving/
---
Two weeks ago I bought the highest rated scale on Amazon, because I was sick of waiting to weigh my self once a week at my gfs place. At first I loved the new thing, it was accurate to .2lbs, lightweight and pretty. Now, I'm more than frustrated.

I thought I was plateauing super hard two weeks ago, stuck at 102.2 despite averaging 700cals a day and drinking loads of water. Checked with gf's scale on saturday: 101.4. OK, broke my plateau! Awesome. Every day after that with my scale: 102lbs. Still averaging 700-800cals a day. This weekend: weighed myself at two different scales at other peoples places: both have me ~101 lbs again. WTF, I'm going crazy here and don't know which scale to believe.

I always weigh myself first thing in the morning, naked, after using the bathroom, so it's not the time of day. I always tap the scales to make sure they aren't lopsided or loose. Always on tile. This is crazy, and either I'm underestimating by 900 a day and not losing, or its the hardest plateau of my LIFE.

Just this morning I gave up and tried using my scale in three different places in my bathroom, all level. It went from 107 to 102, but never below 102. I think this scale just hates me. I hate not seeing any progress, especially for this long.

[Rant/Rave] It's fucking pizza day.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW: 124.6 GW: 105 | BMI 23.5 | Female]
Created: Tue Feb 23 07:52:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/476wqr/its_fucking_pizza_day/
---
My office is supplying unlimited pizza all day. Fuck my life.

[Rant/Rave] Feel so deliciously empty.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 23 06:58:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/476okj/feel_so_deliciously_empty/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Nighttime binging
/u/The_littlest_naylor
Created: Tue Feb 23 06:09:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/476i86/nighttime_binging/
---
Why can I not stop myself from eating at night? I do good all day at 800 cals and feel great. I always feel so proud of myself as I make it though dinner. BUT THEN...8...9...10pm comes around and I about turn into a beast. I fight so hard but almost always lose out.

I have always had a nighttime binging problem. In fact that is how I got to my highest weight of 168 at 5'0'....BLEK! I am down about 10lbs since the beginning of January, but I feel like I would be doing/feeling so much better if I could just stop the night binging. Apparently just stay in bed does not work for me.

Thanks for listening.

[Help] Ephedrine/Bronkaid whatever it's called
/u/fattynomnoms [5'7.5"|190|-40lbs]
Created: Tue Feb 23 05:41:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/476f1x/ephedrinebronkaid_whatever_its_called/
---
I don't really know much about it. Is it an appetite suppressant? Or does it just give you max energy? Energy really isn't a problem for me, but appetite is. Is there anything that just kills appetite?

[Goal] 6.2lbs in 5 days, BMI in the 20's, life is feeling right
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 23 05:28:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/476di1/62lbs_in_5_days_bmi_in_the_20s_life_is_feeling/
---
Since last Friday, I've lost 6.2 pounds!!! This is insane! I love it!! I was so miserable before. I had plateaued at 140-144 and that was killing me. I'm back on track and I love feeling more and more perfect with each day!

**ALSO** I reached a huge goal for me! I'm in the 20's with my BMI

can't wait to push through today with all of this positivity! I love all of you and the support of this sub. You have the strength <3

[Discussion] Self-care and Beauty Q+A February 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 23 05:02:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/476aod/selfcare_and_beauty_qa_february_23_2016/
---

Eating disorders are real, complex, and devastating conditions that can have serious consequences for physical health. Use this thread to discuss harm reduction and beauty tips, plus suggestions on how to build back up the physical self before and after engaging in disordered behaviors.

Please be wary of false advice and information. Be sure to research the facts before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are. Remember that diagnosing members is unacceptable. **Anyone looking for medical guidance should seek the opinion of a medically licensed professional.**

^Self-care ^and ^beauty ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Tuesday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] We Need to Talk About Amy Winehouseā€™s Eating Disorder and Its Role In Her Death | The Pitch
/u/DisorderAlt
Created: Tue Feb 23 04:23:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4766ch/we_need_to_talk_about_amy_winehouses_eating/
---
http://pitchfork.com/thepitch/861-we-need-to-talk-about-amy-winehouses-eating-disorder-and-its-role-in-her-death/

[Help] Period hunger
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Feb 23 03:19:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47606w/period_hunger/
---
How do you deal with it? I have been eating so much crap the last few days and can't seem to stop :(

[Intro] Loseit friends?
/u/leviathansoup
Created: Tue Feb 23 00:53:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/475mbl/loseit_friends/
---
Hey, I'm a long time lurker but I've loved this sub for a long time and follow it religiously on my main account. I recently switched from MFP to Loseit and want to add some like minded friends to keep me on track. I should be my ultimate goal by June 1st if I keep on budget! PM me your email!

[Rant/Rave] I'm so irritated with myself for binging this evening.
/u/TheDevilsRectum [5'6" | CW 110 | GW 105 |17.83 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 22:22:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4755ok/im_so_irritated_with_myself_for_binging_this/
---
I had a good morning and afternoon. I started my day with one apple and a couple of small pieces of pickled beets. For lunch, I had a nice salad, but I had too much of it and it had some pretty caloric things in it, like chicken and Bleu cheese, so I was very close to my calorie limit for the day after that. Then, suddenly, around six o'clock, I lost my mind and ate a bunch of these microwavable frozen vegetarian "chicken" nuggets, popcorn (yes- with the salt and butter :/), several big handfuls of granola, and about twelve starburst candies. I'm really disappointed with myself and agitated. The worst part is that my body is still crying out for more, and I'm having to fight it. I keep thinking about flavor and texture and the pleasure of swallowing food. I fucking suck at restricting. I always have. I just want people to look at me and think, "wow, she's so thin and pretty!" But I don't feel like I am either of those things, and if I keep having days like today, I never will.

[Rant/Rave] I love fasting so fucking much
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 22:01:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4752s6/i_love_fasting_so_fucking_much/
---
I'm at least 52 hours in (I'm not completely sure when the last time I ate was but I'm completely sure I haven't eaten since 1:33 AM Sunday) I'm not gonna lie, I feel ill. I planned on breaking it, but took a shower first so I could at least get to the 48 hour mark. But showering made me completely change my mind. My hipbones & ribs being way too visible considering how much I binged earlier this week. Seeing how quickly I was making progress from a simple fast was so motivating. My stomach still has so much fat on it it made me want to keep going until it's completely flat. There's something amazing about fasting, thinking I could just lie in bed for a week and get up so much thinner. Exercising seems appealing with how much faster I could lose, but I barely have the energy to stand at the moment. My vision has gone a bit blurry, I can't think straight, and I feel really nauseous. But stopping does not seem anywhere near worth it. I'm 10 hours past my personal record. Why not go 10 more? 20? I could stop eating until I've undone all the binging, and more. The thought of never eating again won't leave my head. What if I just didn't? No more setbacks, no more binges. Not a single guilty feeling, not a single gram gained. I'm surrounded by junk food but I'm not tempted to eat it at all. I've never felt less hungry. I don't know if it's the high from the lack of food, but I feel absolutely amazing right now. I feel in control, like I could do anything (except maybe type a rant and have it make any sense, sorry about that). I'm just so happy about this, I have to share it someplace people understand.

[Rant/Rave] WHY DID I BURN MY SIZE 24 JEANS
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 126 | 18.27 | -14 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 21:54:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4751uq/why_did_i_burn_my_size_24_jeans/
---
OMG!?! I am so mad that I burnt all my size 24 jeans (all of them designer jeans) in treatment last year. I never wanted to, I was forced to - I am very frustrated. None of my jeans fit me anymore and I am about 6 pounds off from fitting the size 24 jeans.

THIS IS SO EXPENSIVE. never burn your jeans, never!

[Discussion] Down the rabbit hole once more
/u/dtrh78 [5'4'' | 133.2 | 23.31 | -11.8 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 21:26:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/474y4s/down_the_rabbit_hole_once_more/
---
So, the boy I mentioned in my last post asked me out before he left and damnnnn what a night haha. I'm even more motivated to drop this weight by the summer now! Starting tomorrow I'm going go cold turkey with sugar and gluten, and my rheumatologist even recommended this so yay for pretending to do things because of sound medical advice and not because of terrible coping mechanisms! I'm full of junk food that I had planned to eat and now I'm sipping on lemon water, and the sadistic side of me is going to weigh myself soon to see how high I made that number today. I'm going to write that number in a special place on my body (old habits) and after today, I will never, ever see that number on a scale again.

It feels like I'm falling into the arms of an old friend. I'd forgotten how intoxicating self-destruction was.

[Thinspo] When will my ass return from the war?
/u/pessimisticpachyderm [5'4 | 107| 18.4| -15| F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 20:11:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/474n4k/when_will_my_ass_return_from_the_war/
---
http://i.imgur.com/bOxXfvo.jpg

[Goal] Just finished my first day with minimal cravings! I feel totally euphoric!
/u/burtra12
Created: Mon Feb 22 19:55:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/474kvr/just_finished_my_first_day_with_minimal_cravings/
---
Just had a veggie plate for dinner and I *might* have a banana as a snack later, but I think I'll try to call it a night! So happy and inspired! Thanks to this sub! Those hip bones are so close I can almost touch them!

[Rant/Rave] i fucked up
/u/hydropons [5'1" | 84 lbs (new!) | 15.5 | -4 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 19:48:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/474jxc/i_fucked_up/
---
i broke down and binged... my classmates dragged me along to get lunch with them and i made the stupid decision to get greasy oily garbage (everything in the dining hall is terrible, but i chose the most terrible) and later i went and bought a new bra because all my old ones are getting too big and when i looked in the mirror i wanted to cry...

why can't i lose weight from my waist and not from my breasts? that was the only part of my body that i was ok with having fat on.

[Help] Fasted today... scared of tomorrow...
/u/DivingRightIn
Created: Mon Feb 22 19:40:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/474iop/fasted_today_scared_of_tomorrow/
---
So I had a great day today. After a weekend of eating decent portions of food, fasting today was pretty easy. I had a total of 12 calories (10 for coffee, 2 for tea).


I'm scared for tomorrow though... based on the plan I developed for myself, I should eat 800 calories tomorrow...

But I'm honestly terrified that if I eat anything at all I will eat too much...

I could just keep going with the fast but I'm scared the longer I go, the harder it will be to not binge when I start eating again... please help me, what do I do?

[Rant/Rave] ED taking over relationships
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Mon Feb 22 19:29:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/474gyv/ed_taking_over_relationships/
---
I have three partners going right now. And they would not be down if they knew how deplorable I am at holding their emotions in high standing. I don't need advice here - I know this isn't okay. I'm venting. I'm having sex with people for exercise and I just realized that now. One, my best friend with benefits sitting beside me right now, two, my boyfriend as of last night who definitely loves me, three, a woman I hooked up with earlier this week who I think wants to love me. So yeah, I am an asssshoooooolllleeee because I would otherwise let myself be either single and then this would be fine and plutonic, or commit to my now shiny new boyfriend as I said Hell Yeah to Girlfrienddom and now I'm cheating. I'm banging my best friend tonight. I'm doing this not because I don't care about these people.... dudes I'm doing this because of the calorie burn...
Fuck. What the.

[Rant/Rave] My father in law drank 4 litres of full fat milk in one weekend...
/u/NaturalBlonde91 [5'6|CW:145|GW:125|UGW:120|BMI:23.37 |-31 |Female]
Created: Mon Feb 22 19:19:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/474ff6/my_father_in_law_drank_4_litres_of_full_fat_milk/
---
Also known as homo milk to us Canadians. He drinks it like water, on top of his 3 full meals and 5-10 slices of bread a day. My mother in law cut him off from milk because of how expensive it is to let him drink so much, but seriously? 4 litres in 2 days? That's 1,280 calories in a day, from milk. I can't decide if I find that hilarious, or profoundly disgusting. It absolutely floors me how much some people can consume, and on bullshit like 8 cups of full fat milk, or shitty white bread.

[Help] Feeling guilt about lying in a food diary to my therapist?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 18:44:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/474a73/feeling_guilt_about_lying_in_a_food_diary_to_my/
---
So this is a multifaceted question.

First, what can get you hospitalized? Can I openly talk about my tendencies to restrict extremely for 4 days before eating 1200 and starting again? Or will she legally be required to step in?

I'm paranoid and don't want judgment from her. Basically I got into therapy for other reasons and it came out that i had lost a bit of weight and was continuing to do so. I had lost the initial weight "healthily" but i brought up that i was having trouble now bingeing. I hadn't yet figured out that i was bingeing and restricting and that it was a cycle yadda yadda. So she had me start a food diary. Little did she know that she equipped me with the knowledge to start embracing my disordered eating habits and that after discussing it with her, it made me more determined (and I've gone from 140 to now 135.8 in the last two weeks after talking with her). But I don't want to flare up any concern. Do you think it's manageable to falsify a daily journal? How do i account for expected temporary failure? Has anyone been in this situation before? I also feel kind of guilty because she's a very caring woman and im not accustomed to straight up lying. :(

[Discussion] Maca Root supplements?
/u/LadyTetra [5'4" | 103 | 18.03 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 18:43:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4749xk/maca_root_supplements/
---
Hey,

Have any of you taken maca root and *not* gained weight? I've found a lot of information about it online and most of the people mention a lot of weight gain. I have heard great things about it increasing energy and balancing hormones. Supposedly the weight gain only comes from the balancing of hormones which makes you hungrier. I'm pretty good at ignoring hunger. :)

Let me know if you guys have tried it and what you thought. There isn't a lot of 'real' evidence of it doing anything, just anecdotal.

Thanks!!

[Rant/Rave] My battle station for the upcoming war known as "Dinner Time"
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 114 lbs | 19.95 | -41 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 17:37:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/473zzk/my_battle_station_for_the_upcoming_war_known_as/
---
http://imgur.com/ILHQwgp

[Intro] I'm so glad I found y'all
/u/ambiguouslyreal [5'2.5| 115 | 21.36 | 18 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 17:29:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/473yt6/im_so_glad_i_found_yall/
---
I recently (yesterday) started using Reddit again and I stumbled upon this subreddit. Oh man. It feels so good to have found a place where I won't be judged for not wanting to eat more than 300 calories a day. My roommate/best friend is in recovery from an eating disorder so I can't really talk to her about it because I don't want to bring her down with me.

I've been purging anywhere from occasionally to multiple times a day (about 4 years ago) since I was 11. About two weeks ago, my boyfriend said something that triggered me to stop wanting to eat so I could become as skinny as possible. I know he didn't mean for this to happen, but I've lost about 10lb since then so I'm happy.

I need to be skinny. You are all such perfect angels and I'm so happy to read all your stories because it makes me feel like I'm not a fuck up for wanting this.

Thank you so much.

[Intro] Hello. I'm new
/u/SkinnyMe0324 [5"3 | 150 lbs | 26.67 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 16:31:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/473p4d/hello_im_new/
---
So I noticed I never put an intro on here so here you go.
I'm 5'3 and weight 150 lbs last time I checked. (I know I know I'm fat) my ultimate goal is 60 lbs. I don't have a date for that. My goal first is to be 120 before I enter High School.

So yea. PM me if you want.

[Discussion] drinking my "food"
/u/jalannah [5'3 | 127 | F | 27y]
Created: Mon Feb 22 15:17:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/473cd0/drinking_my_food/
---
So I don't want to sound like an advertisement so I won't name the brand but I just got a smoothie blender and I decided that I will just simply drink my calories for a while.

I mean, I hate cooking. I hate deciding what I have to eat. So instead I'll just grab some salad leafs, a piece of fruit and some chia seeds or some sprouts and drink my meals.

Keeps me from binge-ing (chia seeds are insanely filling) and I have zero cravings. Okay, so I've only been doing this for 3 days but each smoothie has about 200kcals and I have about 2 or 3 of them a day.

Another plus side is, it keeps me rather energized and "healthy" because I would never eat simply 4 salad leafs and an orange but I will drink it.

Has anyone else tried "going smoothie"? Am I stupid for thinking I could live off (low cal) smoothies? I am a bit constipated...which is weird because I thought all the fiber would help with my digestion. I need to weigh myself but I am scared that I haven't dropped a pound because of all the constipation.


EDIT: Forgot to say, I also make soups with the blender, like tomato soup (just blend some cherry tomatoes and basil and garlic and heat it up). So it's not just cold fluids.

[Tip] Bonespo account
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 22 15:12:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/473bh8/bonespo_account/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Super skinny soup recipes
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Mon Feb 22 14:21:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4731za/super_skinny_soup_recipes/
---
Hey, I love soup. Who doesn't love soup? I'm looking for some new superlow kcal recipes. Anyone have one? I prefer not having meat in it because it adds up in kcal so fast.

[Tip] Anti-Binge Tip!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 22 14:06:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/472zah/antibinge_tip/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I'm scared
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 22 13:17:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/472qk0/im_scared/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] Just want to say thanks
/u/tobebeautifulx
Created: Mon Feb 22 13:15:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/472q5h/just_want_to_say_thanks/
---
Ever since lurking this subreddit for a while I've decided to make a throw away. I've been dealing with my ed for years now, since highschool, I'm 23 now. Though gained alot of weight during a long relationship that ended in december. He loved to torment me about my ed whenever he was mad at me would call me a fat bitch. Then get mad at me when I refused to eat or would purge.
Anyways we broke up in dec and his last words to me was I was a fat cow and everything on me jiggles. Killed me. 4 years and that was his last words to me. So fuck him I'm going to make sure so one can ever think of me in the way again.
Ever since lurking I've started using bronkaid and omg I fucking love it. It scared me at first with the way It made me feel but it makes fasting so easy. Plus I haven't binged and purged in a month! I'm 5"4 and this morning I weighted 126.7 I haven't been in the 20s is years! I've lost over 15 pounds since we broke up.

I just want to say even tough this is my first post I love you all so much, you are my inspiration <3

[Intro] I'm new :)
/u/mini_matcha [5,3 | 108.3 | 19 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 13:00:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/472nfc/im_new/
---
Hello

I found this sub last night and could barely sleep because I was so excited to find it! I'm 28/F, I have severe anxiety, OCD and insomnia my whole life. I've been "naturally" slim until I hit 20's. I gained 30lbs but ever since restricting my calories I have got my "slim" body back. I've become very obsessed with calories ever since. It has become my lifestyle and I actually do enjoy it. Surrounded by many people(in real life/in person) who like to indulge in food, I'm often being told to "live a little" and "eat this, eat more!", as if they are trying to "help me". They don't understand, this is how I am and I don't want anything thing else. I feel that this place is a place where, for once I am understood! I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one! :D

EXTRAS obsessions/weird stuff

- I LOVE to make lists!

- I keep a Journal-log of the food I eat, outfits I wore, workouts, hygiene and beauty regimes on MS paint, with copied and pasted cute transparent pixel icons/art.

- I have over hundreds of self made "archives" of food products and ingredients from the grocery stores. I keep them saved by food type, price, exact store it came from, day of purchased, nutritional info, servings, ingredients and size of product.
I do this to stay in the know on deals and remember who carries products I want without guessing.

- Seeing how nice a bikini can look with the right accessories (like jewelry, glasses, bags, hair bands, belts, hats, cardigans) is my ultimate thinspo motivator.
Also with lingerie; example VS fashion shows. When they are decked out in epic jewelry, belts, robes.

- I keep collections (again, in MS paint. Strange, I know) of transparent food items, table settings and dine ware. I even get picky on how I present and display my food (even if it's just for myself). It just has to look cute "kawaii" and small.
I study the transparent images I saved, rearrange them and try to come up with the most "perfect" way to display and macro them.

- Although I don't eat much, I love to cook and put together dishes. I also love hosting parties and cooking for others.

I've also gained some weight last month, been slipping up a little and looking forward to get back in my usual "light" diet.

[Rant/Rave] PB2 is my goddamn savior.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 12:28:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/472hkq/pb2_is_my_goddamn_savior/
---
Seriously, this stuff is the shit. Easy af to transport and make and a super low cal snack I can quickly shove in my mouth when I want to drink this 190 calorie Slim Fast shake but know that I don't *need* to. I played softball all day yesterday and managed to keep my calories under 1000 and I owe it to this amazing powdered peanut butter stuff. PB2 I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

[Thinspo] Feeling soooo powerful today. :)
/u/burtra12
Created: Mon Feb 22 11:49:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/472ai6/feeling_soooo_powerful_today/
---
http://imgur.com/xtrpe2Z

[Rant/Rave] Being in the ER sure made fasting easier today
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Feb 22 11:29:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/472722/being_in_the_er_sure_made_fasting_easier_today/
---
Sitting here unable to walk but feeling happy because there's no food in sight and I know I'll be here all day. It's thoughts like these that make me think I might have an actual problem...I might end up with crutches but at least I'll be lighter tomorrow.

[Tip] My 20 calorie recipe for staving off a chili craving.
/u/esiwirartnoC [5'3| 128 | 22.7| -25 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 11:19:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47257n/my_20_calorie_recipe_for_staving_off_a_chili/
---
http://i.imgur.com/yc1DeBX.jpg

[Discussion] Day 2 back with Ana/Mia, and feeling great! But worried about saying goodbye to my breasts.
/u/burtra12
Created: Mon Feb 22 11:14:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4724h7/day_2_back_with_anamia_and_feeling_great_but/
---
So I posted yesterday as a newcomer. I'm wanting to go back to ana/mia because I'm currently a whale. I've never been this big in my life. Probably close to 200 pounds. Not sure; I've stopped weighing myself. Yesterday I did fairly well. Binged twice but purged, and ate a very small breakfast. Today, I'm concerned about something: I'm afraid of saying goodbye to my "epic tits" as everyone around me calls them.
I'm not gonna lie here. They're perfect. Big full C cups that people think are fake but they're real. Since gaining the weight, I feel like they're my only asset. I get a lot of attention for them and my boyfriend loves them. Since I'm a fat ass hardly anyone hits on me anymore like they used to, and I'm afraid that when I lose the weight my breasts will deflate again and look unattractive. Any support is appreciated. Now I'm off to eat breakfast! One hard-boiled egg, an apple, and black coffee. Bring on day 2!

[Rant/Rave] Depressed and wanting to binge
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 186 | 30.97 | -64 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 11:04:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4722pd/depressed_and_wanting_to_binge/
---
I got some really bad news, I want to binge and binge til I'm numb. But I know that won't help so why do I want to do it?! It'll just make it worse, but I don't know how to make it better

Sorry for the rant, ya'll are the only people who might get it.

[Discussion] I'm writing this for those of you with anxiety about buying ephedrine.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 10:27:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/471vx1/im_writing_this_for_those_of_you_with_anxiety/
---
I've noticed a bit of talk lately about how some of you guys wanted to buy ephedrine but were scared to. This might be redundant and useless to those of you who DON'T experience anxiety in this situation.

So for those of you that do, here's how it'll happen.

I went to CVS. Walgreen's has it too. In the cold/flu or sinus area of the medicine there will be a shelf with little papers or cards instead of boxes. These are the "controlled substances." Don't let that scare you. It just means they scan them differently at the register.

So take a card. Read the labels, find what you want.

Here's what helped the anxiety I had immensely: buy something else with it. I needed toothpaste. I got my toothpaste, got my card, went to the pharmacist and said "can I check out here?" (Spoiler, you can) and she said of course and asked to see my licence. I handed it to her, she scanned the box, put it (and my toothpaste) in a bag and said "have a nice day."

It was hugely stress relieving to not have the focus of my purchase be drugs. Grab a deodorant stick or a mascara or something you've been meaning to pick up for a while and just set it on the counter next to the paper for the drugs.

You don't have to fake a cough, you don't have to tell them you're sick or why you're buying it because they truely don't care. They beep your ID, they beep the box, all done.

Relax a bit, remind yourself that this random pharmacist doesn't care what you do or buy, they have 4000 things to do that day and just want to scan your box as efficiently as possible.

Anyways, I hope this can soothe some of the anxiety that's been floating around this topic lately.

I love you have a good day ā¤

[Help] Perfect Restricting with no loss?
/u/Darling459
Created: Mon Feb 22 10:19:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/471u5x/perfect_restricting_with_no_loss/
---
Has anyone else had the issue where you restrict perfectly for days straight and not only not see a loss but a gain?? I'm so frustrated!

[Rant/Rave] I just threw up blood. I need to stop binging and purging.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 96,8 | 16,3| -31,2 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 09:10:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/471hq6/i_just_threw_up_blood_i_need_to_stop_binging_and/
---
I think it's just some small cut in my throat and nothing more dramatic than that, but it was a bit scary seeing blood. I been binging and purging like crazy for the last week once again, two and three times a day like today. My legs feel really wobbly and like they are going to fail under me, I'm bloated and lethargic and I haven't lost any weight in last week. And I don't even want to think about all the money I wasted.

I really need to stop binging and purging, and I thought saying it in public would make it easier to keep my promise to myself. So here I am saying that I simply won't binge and purge...let's say in two days. I can do two days, right?

[Intro] longggg overdue intro
/u/scarletbegonia_ [5'5 | 117.8 | 19.83 | -15 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 09:09:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/471hnb/longggg_overdue_intro/
---
I'm typically more of an observer than an active participant when it comes to things like this, but this sub has helped me immensely over the past few months, so I just wanted to say thank you! Reading through your posts has become one of my favorite daily activities, and I relate to so many of your experiences. I can't wait to start engaging with everyone! Thank you so much for being there for me, even when you didn't realize you were <3

[Goal] Close to new goal
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 09:05:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/471gyd/close_to_new_goal/
---
So my first ever goal weight was to be at 125 and I thought I would be happy (lol). I've been hovering around 130 and my goal is to lose 5 more pounds by my 18th birthday which is March 5. Wish me luck!!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 22 09:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/471gjg/daily_food_diary_february_22_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] No Willpower Weekend
/u/heywaitformenonotyou
Created: Mon Feb 22 08:46:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/471dlp/no_willpower_weekend/
---
That's what I'm calling this past weekend. With my job, it's often rare for me to even have one day off a week but this weekend I actually had both Saturday and Sunday off...and chose to sit on my bed eating Special K and honey roasted peanuts out of the box. I wouldn't necessarily call it a binge as a I counted it for a meal but was definitely not necessary and went against my planned meals.

As relaxing as the weekend was, I'm happy for my schedule to go back to normal. I definitely like the structure of work days to help stay on track. Who else struggles more on weekends or days off?

[Goal] Seeing numbers on the scale I haven't seen in five years!
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 135 lbs | 20.30 | -28 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 08:26:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/471a7e/seeing_numbers_on_the_scale_i_havent_seen_in_five/
---
Since I joined here a month or so ago I've been talking about seeing the 130s.

TODAY I SAW THEM.

When the little number flashes up at me every morning, I usually give it the finger. It never moves fast enough or gets low enough for me. But today, today I wanted to kiss it. It winked 139.6 at me like it was finally on my side.

139.6! That's pretty solidly in the 130s!

GW of 135, here I come! 135 was my weight when I got married. It was the last time I felt like I didn't have to suck it in in public, the last time I felt really confident about my body and could look down at my belly and smile. I can't wait to get there.

Thank you, everyone, for your marvelous support! You guys made this happiness possible for me!

[Help] Will restricting for an extended period of time cause my body to gain weight once I reintroduce myself to eating at my TDEE?
/u/skinnybutfluffy [5'2.5" | 116 | 20.7 (new) | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 08:12:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4717zu/will_restricting_for_an_extended_period_of_time/
---
It might be a silly question, and I swear I've probably discovered the answer multiple times.

To clarify, my goal is to restrict until I hit my goal weight, then maintain by eating my TDEE (recalculated for the weight I will be).

I know that starvation mode isn't a thing, but this question always leads me to a binge. I get nervous about getting to my dream weight and gaining it all back, convincing myself that I should eat everything to make up for the restricting. Illogical, I know.

Anyone know the answer? And if I would gain weight by doing this method, how should I go about this?

Thanks in advance, lovelies. :)

[Discussion] Where can I find a source for the thinspo at the top of this sub? I want to save a few of them!
/u/LiteralMangina [5'7" | 100lbs | 15.61 | -25 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 07:37:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4712qt/where_can_i_find_a_source_for_the_thinspo_at_the/
---
I have a folder in the photos on my phone where I keep all the decent thinspo I come across. There's several photos along the top of this sub that I *need* to save!

[Help] Something that helps with nausea?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149.6 | -7 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Feb 22 05:09:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/470kat/something_that_helps_with_nausea/
---
I recently got put on wellbutrin and have no appetite whatsoever (yay), but I'm also on birth control so they both make me really nauseous. Is there anything that helps soothe the tummy? I hate tea so that's not an option :(

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! February 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 22 05:04:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/470jmx/weekly_stats_update_february_22_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for February 22, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] OMGGGG
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 03:21:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4708yr/omgggg/
---
I just finished writing my dissertation and I'm about take it to the printers. I can't believe I managed it! I'm kind of proud of it and kind of proud of myself! Might let myself have my fave snacks today as a treat but going to stay at calorie goal and just feel like I'm smashing it!

Had to share with someone (so lonely IRL, haha) how awesome this is for me! GO today!

[Rant/Rave] Why do I keep doing this to myself???
/u/Droppdtabl [5'2" | 122lbs | 23 | Nada | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 03:05:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4707cr/why_do_i_keep_doing_this_to_myself/
---
I'm so angry with myself.

I've been bingeing every other day for like three weeks now, and I finally broke that by.... fasting for 2 and half days.

Literally the only way for me practice self control is NOT EAT AT ALL apparently.

My stomach hurts so much, and it looked so much nicer this morning. I'm too uncomfortable to do anything but go to sleep, but it's so early I know I'll be awake for hours again.

I ate too much food to do work. What the everloving fuck is my problem?

It makes me angry that I'm doing this to myself. No one is making me do this, no one is forcing this onto me. I am the only one who bollucks it up for myself.

Why???

payja Hello! I am seeking you! tusiaficon
/u/eprecewhi
Created: Mon Feb 22 02:30:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4703pq/payja_hello_i_am_seeking_you_tusiaficon/
---
http://imgur.com/OI49GW1

[Help] Stomach pains
/u/Banshee__Queen [5'2" | 93.95| 17.38 | -1.05 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 01:55:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/47008i/stomach_pains/
---
Not sure if this is the right sub, but I'm sure if I post anywhere else they'll just tell me to eat more.

I can't eat, at all. I made breakfast and took one small spoon and my stomach went into insane cramps, and I can't bring myself to finish. I did fast for three days (out of self hate than to lose weight), but I've fasted before and this has never happened. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

[Rant/Rave] I'm having a terrible weekend...
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 01:55:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/470075/im_having_a_terrible_weekend/
---
Sorry I'm on mobile i dunno how to flair...


I mean. Ok so i hiked a fuck ton this weekend so i shouldnt feel so bad about this but i got stoned 3 nights in a row! All 3 days i was good all day and then my lady friends and i got stoned and i binged like i hadnt seen food in s year... 3 nights in a row. I purged a lot. I feel awful. I feel huge. Im getting PMS-y too so im craving so much salt... fuck fuck fuck...

I am going to try to be better this week. I just downloaded my fitness pal and as long as i know im eating ok i wont feel guilty and purge... i swear to god i ate a whole jar of baby pickles and a tub of seasoned mozarella last night... and friggin Steak and ice cream and chips tonight... then noodles even... wtf is wrong with me, why cant i jold it togetjer when i am stoned???

[Discussion] High carb vegan diets
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 01:37:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46zygp/high_carb_vegan_diets/
---
I'm not sure if many of you are familiar with vegans such as [FullyRaw Kristina](https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox) and [Freelee.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PYXZJNGnM8)

So basically these girls promote non-restrictive, high carb low fat lifestyles and claim to eat a minimum of about 2,500 calories a day, and that you will lose weight by doing this. The catch is that you have to eat whole foods- fruit and vegetables- mostly raw. Both of these girls are lean, and obviously they exercise a lot, but they both say that **it's possible to lose weight on 2,500 calories without exercise.**

What is your opinion on this? Total BS, right? Even as a vegan (not into all of this raw stuff), I believe a calorie is still a calorie, calories in calories out, etc.

Do you think they're exaggerating and just have really high TDEEs, or what? I've only heard results of a few people, some claim success (weigh gain/maintainence, reduced acne) and others claim weight gain, bloating, etc.

PS: I'm in no way agreeing or interested in following what these girls promote, just genuinely curious and slightly jealous.

[Rant/Rave] The week from hell
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 154 | 24.1 | -31 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 22 00:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46zph9/the_week_from_hell/
---
So I turned 21 this week and boy did I celebrate. This quite possibly could have been the absolute biggest binge I've ever done in my entire life. In my warped brain, I kept telling myself "Now that I can legally drink, I'm going to get a drink every time I'm out." I have literally drank every night since last Sunday, and in my drunken rampage, the drunken muchies ensued. Literally all concept of restriction flew out the window. With food and drinks combined, I've probably consumed nearly 2000-3000 calories a day. Like WHAT. That's absolutely disgusting. The amount of fried food I have put in my body this week literally horrifies me. I was doing soooo good up until about 2 weeks ago and now I completely sabotaged my progress. I really didn't want to start my new year off by returning to the self hating miserable person I used to be. So, starting now I'm making a change. I don't care how much I want to binge, I'm losing this disgusting weight I've gained. (I'm not going to even dare weigh myself because I'm too scared to see the number) I'm going to eat no more than 500 calories a day for the next month and cut out all fried food and alcohol in order to lose AT LEAST 15 pounds by March 22nd. I can do this.

[Rant/Rave] Long description of my weekend that messed up my week's progress...
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 111.8 | 19.57 | -29 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 20:43:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46z009/long_description_of_my_weekend_that_messed_up_my/
---
Okay so this past week has been the best week I've ever had in all of my eating disordered years. I lost almost 10 lbs and I felt great physically and mentally. Well, physically not really cause Saturday the whole eating less than 300 calories every day took a toll on me and I felt like crap, but I managed to only eat a banana and drink green tea.

However, Saturday is the only day I **have** to eat what my mom cooks cause we eat as a family (any other day I can skip and no one will notice). I was worried but I managed to only eat about half of what was on my plate and no one commented yay.

I wake up today and I'm 1.4 lbs heavier, which I dont stress much because it's prob the weight of the food and not actual fat or whatever.

I planned to fast today and be back to 117 tomorrow, but of course life hates me cause my mom decided to go to a birthday party she was invited to. So I hadn't eaten all day but suddenly I'm at this party worrying about having to eat crap. I haven't been so glad to be a vegetarian so much until today because I only had to eat salad, since every other dish had meat in them.

But of course I don't end the day with just eating salad, I gotta eat like 4 types of chocolate candy that probably had like more than 200 cals each (I didn't even check). Of course lets not forget the 140 cal soda.

But that is all in then past now and from now on I gotta be more alert on weekends because I dont want to throw away all my week's progress in just two days.

I bought a dress today that although it fits me I wanna wear it next Saturday when I reach my next goal weight of 112. I really gotta work hard this week to reach that goal but I'm determined cause I gotta wear that dress and it better not be snug on me. That is my inspiration for this upcoming week.

Anyways, I just needed to let that out.

[Rant/Rave] Can't sleep at night
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 20:39:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46yzeh/cant_sleep_at_night/
---
Woke up at 2:30am with a scream (a dream about my grandma, a prostitute, the feeling of something on my face) so I guess that's me for today: less than three hours sleep. Anyone got any tips? I feel like a zombie the whole time.

Also, I was 92.5lbs before I went to bed (which was a yay feeling - haven't pooped since Sunday so I KNOW I must be smaller - and thought that I'd be carrying a bit of water weight which I'd drop overnight at least) and woke up and I'm still 92.5lbs. So annoyed.

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel completely out of control?
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 20:13:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46yvp8/does_anyone_else_feel_completely_out_of_control/
---
In a failed attempt to recover I ate way too much this week. I was so close to my first goal, yet it was so easy to just start eating and put on 3 pounds. It's made me see how fragile my self-control really is. One passing thought that maybe I shouldn't do this, and it's all over. I'm on a fast now, but that's not all. I've had maybe one glass of water in the past 24 hours. I'm trying to stay awake as well, I'm depriving myself of sleep. Why? Why would I do this. Sleep & water help to lose weight. But that somehow takes a backseat to wanting to feel in control. Does anyone else do this? I feel so stupid for doing it.

[Discussion] I noticed something on here today.
/u/dbishop22
Created: Sun Feb 21 19:25:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46yoqy/i_noticed_something_on_here_today/
---
It seems we have very very different tolerances to restriction.

Some people have a really hard time with anything below 1200 and feel faint or ill even going a few days that way and then binge eat.

I usually eat 350-500 a day on the weekdays and 450-700 on the weekends and almost never feel like I need to binge or feel an out of control hunger.

I guess I'm curious what your guys average daily intake is and where you start to feel ill? Are binges brought on by hunger or emotion for you?

Anyway, have a very happy and productive Monday!!

[Tip] Just found this awesome app
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 186 | 30.97 | -64 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 17:21:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46y5x8/just_found_this_awesome_app/
---
It's called charity miles, you pick a charity (they have loads, I do the ASPCA), turn it on, and walk. The donations are small (~30 cents per mile) but still.

You can also set it up to remind you to go for your walk.


Made a team called Lovelies, come join me!

[Intro] Intro/Finally losing weight!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 21 17:20:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46y5tm/introfinally_losing_weight/
---
[removed]

[Help] Having incredible anxiety increasing my daily calorie goal by even a small amount, advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 21 17:16:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46y59k/having_incredible_anxiety_increasing_my_daily/
---
[deleted]

[Help] New here. 27/F. Former daily mia. I'm now fatter than I've ever been and I'm desperate to start up again.
/u/burtra12
Created: Sun Feb 21 16:20:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46xw8f/new_here_27f_former_daily_mia_im_now_fatter_than/
---
Hi everyone! Thanks so much for this sub. I've been a Redditor for years but just found this community.
A little background:
I first started bingeing and purging when I was about 14. I did this for years, and it helped me lose a ton of weight. When I was about 17 I stopped bingeing and purging a lot and switched to restricting and exercising at the gum for about 2 hours a day. This really boosted my confidence. I finally was "hot", although I've always carried some extra pudge around my waist. I plan on saving up for liposuction for this, but that won't happen for a while. I got to my lowest weight/hottest in college, around age 20. I want to get back to that. Currently, I'm at my highest weight. I haven't weighed myself in months because I'm terrified of what I'll see and I don't think I can handle that. But I'd say I'm somewhere around 200. I'm absolutely miserable. Yesterday I got drunk and binged basically all night at a party. I have always been so addicted to food. Last night, people even started commenting on how much I was eating. Today, I decided to start purging again. I am terrible at restricting. I just love food too much. I would really like your support. I can't get caught because my family thinks I'm past this. Thank you.

[Discussion] Tips and tricks for not binging on weekends??
/u/stop-meowing
Created: Sun Feb 21 15:47:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46xr51/tips_and_tricks_for_not_binging_on_weekends/
---
Hello beautiful people!

I was wondering what your tips and tricks were for not ruining a great week during the weekend? Really, being disciplined on Saturday night/ Sunday is my hardest struggle. I work all day Saturday and most of the night, but it's in a restaurant so if there's any messed up food I find myself hawking it. And I'm off Sundays, so my brain interprets that as a free for all. I take adderall for my ADHD and that helps with almost all of my binging urges, but I don't usually do schoolwork on Sunday so I don't usually take it.

Thank you!

[Thinspo] My legs progress
/u/SkinnyMe0324 [5"3 | 150 lbs | 26.67 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 14:20:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46xcip/my_legs_progress/
---
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/D1eSzwK

[Discussion] What is Bronkaid?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 21 13:48:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46x72a/what_is_bronkaid/
---
[deleted]

/r/proED changed my life
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 21 13:27:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46x3k2/rproed_changed_my_life/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] How do you guys start your day?
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Sun Feb 21 12:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46woqv/how_do_you_guys_start_your_day/
---
http://imgur.com/Lx0xjlW

[Goal] I just had to tell someone!
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 115| 21.79| F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 11:53:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46wmzg/i_just_had_to_tell_someone/
---
I've been sick for a week. I haven't been running. I haven't been counting calories as religiously as I should. I'm on my period. I binged. I didn't log. And I thought all of that would be my downfall.

But here I stand, lovelies, 3 pounds lighter, at 117lbs! I know that I can't tell my friends or my boyfriend because they wouldn't understand. But I'm bursting with excitement! And I just needed to share this!

I'm rewarding myself by fasting until my family dinner tonight.

[Discussion] Has anyone ever tried the "Healthy Skinny Girl Diet"? The calories are a bit higher than ABC or what I normally eat but I have been binging so much and I thought this might be a good way to easily get my body back into restricting.
/u/Darling459
Created: Sun Feb 21 11:28:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46wimh/has_anyone_ever_tried_the_healthy_skinny_girl/
---
http://thin15.weebly.com/healthy-skinny-girl-diet.html

[Rant/Rave] Coworker commenting on the amount I eat, not what you may think.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 21 10:48:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46wbm8/coworker_commenting_on_the_amount_i_eat_not_what/
---
So since I work 14 hour shifts, I have dinner at work. I pack my own food because it gives me more control over nutrients and calories. I skip breakfast and eat little at lunchtime so I can have a decent meal in the evening before the long commute home.

Anyway, there's this one fat elderly man there that always likes to comment on what I'm eating. He also constantly offers me fatty and sugary foods, like chocolate mousse, which I always turn down. He diets a fair amount but by the 3rd day in I'll see him eating a Big Mac and chips at break.

Since I 'save' up my calories for dinner (when I feel the most light-headed and tired), and load up on low calorie foods like boiled broccoli or kale, I can cover a plate in food. This man keeps saying "Oh wowww, that's A LOT of food" and "Oh my God, that's a big dinner Helen!" It really pisses me off, he has no idea about TDEE, macros and accurate calorie counting. His dinner sometimes takes up less space on a plate than mine but obviously a Mac & Cheese has more calories than my vegetable stir mix.

But I guess whatever he's trying to do has worked because now I feel extremely guilty about my dinners. The one meal that I already felt guilty about but at least I was warm and not hungry in the evenings. Anyway, I guess it's not such a bad thing because I'm planning to cut my dinner portions in half from now on.

Oh and just to give you guys an idea about how clueless he is, when he asked me how many calories his snack (1 cheesy croissant and 3 pieces of nougat) and I answered "Around 600', he didn't believe me because "A burger with a fizzy drink is around that much!"

[Discussion] Does anyone else have a lower GW than they've ever been? +Intro!
/u/NaturalBlonde91 [5'6|CW:145|GW:125|UGW:120|BMI:23.37 |-31 |Female]
Created: Sun Feb 21 10:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46w67e/does_anyone_else_have_a_lower_gw_than_theyve_ever/
---
Hey everyone! I've been lurking proED for a few months now, and decided to make an alt in order to start posting here.
Ever since puberty, I've always been the "bigger" girl. I got tall before the other kids, I always had a bigger chest than the other kids. Even at my lowest post-puberty weight, which was around 126-127 when I was 16, I still wasn't small in comparison to the other teenaged girls. Average weight for a 16 year old, with "curvy" proportions. And after high school, I gained and gained and gained, topping out at around 176 pounds a year ago. I hated my weight, and last April, I finally decided to do something about it. My current weight of 147 pounds is the lowest I've been in years. 10 months ago, I couldn't even imagine being this small, the 140s were so far away.

Now that I'm here... it isn't enough. I'm not overweight anymore, but I'm back at just "normal". I don't want to have a "normal" figure. For the first time in my life, I want to be slim. I want to have a better than "normal" figure. I want to have a figure people notice and admire, as vain as that sounds. I've never had that body. I don't know what it would look like, and it seems as far away as the 140s did 10 months ago. Even though I know how to get there (consume less calories than you burn, it works every time) part of me is scared, and doesn't think I can do it. I've never been the "skinny girl", never in my life. Do I have what it takes? Do I have the discipline, and the determination to ignore my bullshit urges to binge on junk food? Has anyone else on here ever been in my position? Thanks lovelies.

[Discussion] Fluff post for a couple chuckles
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 10:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46w599/fluff_post_for_a_couple_chuckles/
---
Haha, ok, today I felt a binge coming on, so I started painting my nails. Binge successfully avoided. BUT THEN. I really needed to go to the bathroom and kind of just had to stay seated for another 20ish minutes, wiggling like an idiot XD thought that was a relatable struggle

[Rant/Rave] Bronkaid is amazing!
/u/scribblescrabblerag3 [5'1| 102 lbs| 20.13 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 10:09:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46w4oc/bronkaid_is_amazing/
---
Does anybody else find that bronkaid has no effect when you're really tired? I tried it for the first time a few days ago and I barely felt anything at all. >:/ But then again I hadn't been sleeping great over the period of three days I spent tossing and turning and I was dead exhausted. .-. The only thing it did for me that day is make me feel like I was on fire. (Calories burning maybe?)

/However/, I finally got plenty of sleep and tried it again today. DAMN.

20 minutes: I'm wide awake and ready to start my fasting day. I whip up some breakfast tea and crack open a diet soda with a vape.

60 minutes: I have overwhelming nausea, like I could have projectile vomiting at any minute. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to do much today.

90 minutes later the nausea if gone and I feel amazing.

Seriously, go bronkaid.

Rave over lol

[Goal] I Am So Much Worse Than I Realized (Anti-Goal post?)
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 119.7 | FAT | -15 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 09:36:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46vyvd/i_am_so_much_worse_than_i_realized_antigoal_post/
---
I binged last night. I logged every bite (as I kept eating! wtf?!) and came up with 1,658 kcals. I promised myself that today I would pre-log my dinner with my husband to see how much I had to spend for the rest of the day. Did that and coming in at 581 kcals for the day. (I did NOT stack yesterday. That might have something to do with it.)

Here's the kicker. I've lost 10 lbs from my HW and tried on a bikini I bought several years ago to see how it looks.

O.
M.
G.

I am so much worse off than I was when I was in my 20s. Sooo much more fat on me than before. Not going to lie, I cried for a solid hour about it. Threw a pity party to make the Mad Hatter proud. And realized that this is entirely, 100% my own damn fault.

And then I said "fuck it" and moved on with my day. Not fuck it in the sense that I give up, fuck it in the sense that I am more motivated than ever to get where I want to be. Planned out my workouts with a certain company that promises to get your body ready for the beach. I know that at the deficit I'm eating I won't be able to keep up with the workouts, but Jesus, I have to do something.

I've kept up with restricting for the better part of 3 months with fewer than 5 binges. I can do this. Wish me luck, pretties. I'm going to need it.

[Goal] Back down to my LW / Miracle Crying Workout / I couldn't have done it without you
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 09:30:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46vxu5/back_down_to_my_lw_miracle_crying_workout_i/
---
I finally hit 125 back in November (20 pounds down from my HW), but I gained *a lot* of weight over the Christmas holidays and then plateaued, fluctuating between 127 and 130 for a long time when I tried to re-lose it.

This morning, despite having been on break from university for the past week and pretty much subsisting on vodka and mini heart-shaped chocolates (which I'll admit I bought for myself), I weighed 125! Maybe crying over essays and how unlovable you feel burns a ton of calories (Thanks nineteenth century poetry! Thanks Valentines Day!).

Anyways, I just wanted to thank you guys because I think that joining this sub really helped me to get my ass in gear and stop the revolting binge fest that was my life. I'm ready to start losing again after feeling like a total failure for the past (almost) three months, and I couldn't have done it without you :)

Celebratory picture of my upper body because I hate it less than my lower body and I didn't take any pictures last time I was 125 and I don't want to miss the opportunity in case my self-control desserts (pun intended) me again:
http://imgur.com/xf8nI6g (Edit: NSFW)

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 21 09:02:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46vtnm/daily_food_diary_february_21_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Intro] Introduction: Why I'm here
/u/LeaveAWhisper
Created: Sun Feb 21 08:55:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46vsmj/introduction_why_im_here/
---
Hi everyone! I've been lurking this sub for a while now, and even though everyone says it, the community in this group is phenomenal! I have never been involved with such a wholly positive and uplifting group on Reddit! So I'm really glad that I finally made up my mind to introduce myself and get the ball rolling.

So a little about me. Let's back up. When I was a freshman in high school, I struggled with AN, which caused me to bottom out at 103 lbs on my very broad and muscular frame. I realize that this was just 5 lbs into "underweight" on the BMI chart, but on my body it looked like much more. Over time I got a handle on my ED and eventually, through stress and a toxic relationship, I ballooned up.

So fast forward to two and a half years ago. I was 5'4" (still am, hahaha) and 162 pounds, just escaped from a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship. The stress from moving on from that situation caused me to eat an average of 300-400 kcals/day, and some friends of mine decided we wanted to start c25k together, so the weight fell off FAST. Before I knew it, I was 127 pounds, in a healthy relationship, and altogether feeling incredible about myself. I maintained through strict use of MFP, running, and an ongoing thinspo addiction for over a year. Honestly, with how I ate sometimes, I think it was all dumb luck that I kept it off for that long.

The beginning of last year I started gaining it back. Next thing I knew my new "normal" average was 129, then 132, then 136, then very recently 142. That was about a month ago and I've been too afraid to check since, though I know for sure that I've gained.

Yesterday I had my wedding dress fitted. I bought it a year ago when I was in the 128/129 neighborhood. It was always very form fitting and snug (mermaid silhouette), and I told myself that I could not gain an ounce in order to fit into it for the wedding, but when I tried it on at the seamstress's, I couldn't zip it all the way. I was so mad at myself I couldn't even cry, because in the back of my mind I knew this was going to happen.

My wedding is in 7 weeks, my follow up fitting is in two. I need to dig deep into my mind and dig out those old thinking and eating habits to see just what I'm capable of in this short period of time. Fasting is pretty much off the table, as I have horrible reflux due to excessive acid production, so when I don't eat or when I drink alcohol or too much water, I am in a world of hurt.

I would love for anyone's suggestions, someone to talk to, just some sort of community to keep my motivation and habits in check. Also anyone is welcome to add me on MFP (which I'm just starting up again); my username is jludin1120.

I look forward to becoming a more active community member here, til my wedding and beyond :)

[Goal] Hooray for pre-pregnancy weight!
/u/numbasafossiliam [5'4 | 120 | 21 | -5 | F, 23]
Created: Sun Feb 21 07:45:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46vig2/hooray_for_prepregnancy_weight/
---
I had my daughter last year and decided on the first of January to really kick it into shape and lose the last of the weight from the pregnancy. There have been some ups, but a lot of downs. This week has gone really well and I have fasted the last three days and I am finally making progress!

January 1st I started out:
- weight: 126 lbs
- waist: 29 in
- thighs: 21 in
- hips: 36.5 in
- arms: 10.5 in
- bust: 33 in

Today, February 21st I am:
- weight: 115 lbs
- waist: 25.5 in
- thighs: 19 in
- hips: 34.5 in
- arms: 10 in
- bust: 31 in

Today, I am officially down to my pre-pregnancy weight of 115 lbs and I can really see the difference in how my body looks! I hope that I can keep this up and that there will be more good days than bad.

Having this community has been amazing and very pivotal for me this go around. I wish you all the best in your journeys :)

[Rant/Rave] Binge help? Or just whining.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 07:36:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46vh7h/binge_help_or_just_whining/
---
I know exactly why I binge. I binge because it is one of the only real pleasures left in my life. I don't drink or get high. I don't have sex (my previous fwb just started dating, so that's that; and I have no energy left to find a new sex partner).

Binging is the only thing that makes me feel 'blank' like getting drunk or good sex. Yes, it's temporary, and, yes, I feel like shit afterwards.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is this just bullshit I tell myself so I can justify eating an entire bag of doritos in a couple hours?

Do normal people not feel like this? What's that even like?

[Thinspo] For those of you lurkers or new people out there...
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 05:54:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46v5al/for_those_of_you_lurkers_or_new_people_out_there/
---
http://imgur.com/p9cS00z

[Rant/Rave] We're Tokyo-ghouls.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sun Feb 21 05:39:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46v3te/were_tokyoghouls/
---
As in, the anime.

Eating food will make us feel like shit. It'll taste wrong in our mouths and we'll just completely reject it.

But coffee is fine, coffee is great. Fills us up a little and prevents us from binge-ing.


... yeah.

[Goal] Hello! Would anyone join me for a fast tomorrow?
/u/existentialprimate [5'8.5 | 108 | 16.2 | 20 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 21 01:42:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46uiew/hello_would_anyone_join_me_for_a_fast_tomorrow/
---
[removed]

[Rant/Rave] stuck in a three day binge. hating myself now
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 45.0 kg (100 lbs) | Binged 7-9 March]
Created: Sun Feb 21 01:22:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ugnv/stuck_in_a_three_day_binge_hating_myself_now/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] "Abnormal" habits
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Sat Feb 20 23:24:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46u5xn/abnormal_habits/
---
I feel like I have weird habits, even for someone with and eating disorder. Actually, especially for someone with an eating disorder. I don't exersise. I don't watch *what* I eat, only how many calories. I don't care about fat content or carbs. And to me, it's literally just to lose weight. I've been told by a lot of people (none of them had EDs though, they were mainly doctors) that there's always a reason like abuse or needing to feel in control...but for me it's always just been to lose weight. That's all. I don't have the patience to diet nornally so I restrict.

Is anyone else like that? And is anyone else irritated by the stereotypes and "typical" habits people immediately associate with you because of your ED?

Mainly all of this stereotyping was encountered in inaptient.

I don't eat slowly like they assume *all* anorexics do. I don't cut t food into little pieces like they assume *all* anorexics do. I don't have low self-esteem like they assume *all* anorexics do. And I enjoy it. I love having an ED, but they instated that can't be true. God it pissed me off to be told how I feel when it was always the opposite of how I actually feel.

[Rant/Rave] I've only had 746 calories and I'm not even hungry(:
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Sat Feb 20 22:57:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46u2vs/ive_only_had_746_calories_and_im_not_even_hungry/
---
I've had such a lovely day.

I slept in until about 11:00 and then I took a warm bath and styled my hair, then I had breakfast-

Greek yogurt with Miriam berries and granola mixed in: 170 calories.

Then I went shopping, bought some all black converse I've been wanting for years, and then a couple of cap-sleeve sequined tops that fit a fit snug, and make it look as if I actually have shape. Yay :3

Then I went to a shoe store and got the most adorable Mary Janes, black patent leather with a little rhinestone circle on the buckle and a little heel as well as some thigh high white stockings to go with them.

I got some Popeye's in the way home-

A meal consisting of 3 spicy chicken strips, a biscuit, and Cajun fries. I ate half- 155 calories of chicken, 130 of fries, 120 of biscuit: total 405.

A chatted with some friends for a few hours, they made me smile and feel loved, and then I had a snack-

Half a small fry from Burger King: 170.

And that's it(: now I'm just relaxing and feeling good, sipping my green tea with honey and browsing reddit.

I'm not at all hungry, and I don't crave a binge. I'm content and warm.

Yay

[Intro] So glad I found you guys
/u/elbowrodeo [5'10" | 137 | 19.16 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 22:15:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ty7e/so_glad_i_found_you_guys/
---
I've been lurking on this subreddit for a couple days, and finally decided to introduce myself and actively contribute more! I love how genuine and supportive everyone is here, this is exactly what I need right now! I've been having a hard time lately with a really tough semester at school and my boyfriend living in a different state, and restricting makes me feel so much better. So hello to all of you, I can't wait to meet you all :)

*edited for typo

[Thinspo] "Mary Katkins" - Probably my Favorite Episode of my Favorite Bizarre Web Series
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 133 | 21.55 | -17.6 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 21:37:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ttiv/mary_katkins_probably_my_favorite_episode_of_my/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jqf8LsPOJI

[Tip] ~8 months ago when I made my MFP account you couldn't make your calorie limit <1200. Not sure if it's a glitch but I just made mine 400!
/u/LiteralMangina [5'7" | 100lbs | 15.61 | -25 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 18:56:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46t68d/8_months_ago_when_i_made_my_mfp_account_you/
---
http://imgur.com/8irRuq6

[Goal] Guys, I like vegetables now. WTF.
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 114 lbs | 19.95 | -41 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 18:11:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46szus/guys_i_like_vegetables_now_wtf/
---
I know that my ED is something I'm supposed to be ashamed of and actively work to reverse because there are serious health consequences and it's horrible for my body, but I just keep finding positives right now. Maybe because I've never hit underweight (I'm coming for you though! I **will** have a bmi of 17 this year).

I have *always* hated vegetables. The only way I could ever enjoy them was smothering the taste in ungodly amounts of ranch dressing. But right now, I am gorging on radishes and tomatoes and zucchini, and carrots, and spinach. and it feels incredible. I don't even want cheese or fast food or fries. I am content eating these healthy things. This is literally the first time in my life I could turn down in-n-out and NOT feel like I'm missing out.

Guys, I think my ED just fixed me in some weird way. I think my ED is finally giving me the ability to make healthy choices. I am so overjoyed right now. I love myself, and my willpower, and my ability to feed my body something that isn't garbage. I love being able to eat and not feel guilty. I love my slowly slimming thighs and tummy, and I love my new found confidence in myself and that I know I will attain my goals. I think I'm in love with my ED.

**I love my ED**

[Rant/Rave] I'm back
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 18:06:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46sz28/im_back/
---
I just spent a little under a week trying to recover. It mostly turned into bingeing. I've gained about 3 pounds in 5 days, I'm really hoping some of this is water weight (let's pretend water weight makes your thighs look fat). Anyway, I've decided looking 7 months pregnant isn't my thing so I'm back. I'm gonna hope I can actually stick to it this time but knowing me I'm probably going to binge again in the next 4 hours.

Note to self : If you're gonna have an eating disorder can you at least have the kind that makes you thin?

[Discussion] Workout Routine?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 20 16:33:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46sldb/workout_routine/
---
[deleted]

Sometimes a 'reset' weekend is a necessity.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 20 14:16:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46rzfd/sometimes_a_reset_weekend_is_a_necessity/
---
http://imgur.com/U1A2Hc9

[Discussion] Do you sometimes you feel like you go to far?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Feb 20 12:36:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46rl56/do_you_sometimes_you_feel_like_you_go_to_far/
---
I just ate something I'm allergic to so I couldn't eat more.


- what a great title, amazing, solid 5/7

[Thinspo] A thing I drew just for fluff a while ago
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 11:01:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46r61p/a_thing_i_drew_just_for_fluff_a_while_ago/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/sdqGW

[Rant/Rave] So my hairdresser fucked up my hair
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Feb 20 10:38:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46r26n/so_my_hairdresser_fucked_up_my_hair/
---
I cried the whole day and am not hungry anymore, and feel like I'll never be hungry again. Yay.

[Help] How to take scales with me when traveling?
/u/acadavia [5'3"| 90.6 | 16.01 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 10:36:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46r1z2/how_to_take_scales_with_me_when_traveling/
---
I'm going to visit relatives for a week, and I want to bring my bathroom scale and my food scale with me, but I'm worried that they'll get damaged in transport (I'm flying and I'll be carrying on my luggage). Has anyone else tried this? I know I could put them in a cardboard box to protect them, but I don't have very much room in my bag.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 20 09:02:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46qn17/daily_food_diary_february_20_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Intro] [Intro] *awkwardly waves from the shadows*
/u/scribblescrabblerag3 [5'1| 102 lbs| 20.13 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 07:39:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46qbnx/intro_awkwardly_waves_from_the_shadows/
---
I've been lurking for a while and now I'm going to introduce myself. I'm 19 and was diagnosed with anorexia at 15. It's been 4 years of half-assed "recovery" that never really happened. I'm still on the same meal plan as when I was released. I never stopped thinking about my meal plan or making up calories, I still drink diet coke/diet Dr. Pepper/Monster Ultra/etc. I gave up some things but I never walked away. I never intended to.

I miss fasting. I don't know if anyone knows this feeling but fasting is my drug. (yes I smoke and do other shit too but that's not the same at all lol) I feel so empowered like I can do anything. I forgot what the rush felt like. I got so much done my last fasting day. I was more productive one day than I've been all week, maybe even one month. \^0^/

Right now I'm in a 5:2 schedule, 2 days fasting out of the week, 5 days regular. I think I'm going to cut my regular days to 1200.

GW: 98 lbs rn

Oh and I just wanted to say, I really love this sub. A few years ago, I used to be lurking on Tumblr before the pro ana crackdown/public awareness. I am so happy you guys aren't as... crazy. Somehow I ended up in some very dark corners of Tumblr back then. "ANA LOVES ME. SHE TOLD ME. I SAW HER AND SHE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I'LL EVER BE. I WILL BE THINNER." Uh okay fam, I'm sure you will be. Good luck with your ABC diet. You're kind of scaring me.
Somehow I ended up finding a lot of whackos.. :s

I like how everyone here is motivated and positive and more...level-headed I guess. I've been on Reddit for years and this just feels like my place yknow?

Uh bye now.
I'll be around. I'm the type of person that upvotes a lot and comments. hehe

EDIT: thank you!

[Rant/Rave] Yet another EC stack post - my apologies, but I am happy as a clam at high tide!
/u/batloaf [5'1.5"| CW 104.2lbs | BMI 20.2 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 07:13:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46q89e/yet_another_ec_stack_post_my_apologies_but_i_am/
---
I tried to hold off on the EC stack as long as possible this morning, but when the hunger got to be too much I caved. I also ate half a fiber bar (100 calories) pretty much immediately after. Thought to my self, "You blew it. What's the purpose of an EC stack if you're just gonna stuff your face right after?" But now? Man alive, I feel so much better! My stomach is still gurgling, begging for food, but my brain doesn't care. Instead of sitting on the couch dreaming about food, I think I'll go vacuum my apartment. Sorry for such a repetitive post but I just had to tell somebody! :D

[Help] Having to eat with coworkers
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 20 04:33:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46pr0k/having_to_eat_with_coworkers/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Confession time: I just called my friend out on resulting back to her really bad eating disorder, and here I am wishing I was as strong as you guys.
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Sat Feb 20 03:15:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46pkcx/confession_time_i_just_called_my_friend_out_on/
---
Basically she has canceled hanging out with me multiple times now, couldn't come to a celebratory dinner I had for a position I was awarded (the only time I've allowed myself to binge, and in front of my family none the less). And I finally called her out. Not eating, pretending an order is wrong at lunch and then not eating, ordering soup if she does try to eat, etc.



And I notice it all because... I'm here. Weird situation.

[Rant/Rave] Conflicting comments at work, and how they are ALL motivating!
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 118.0 lbs | 20.51 | ~27 lost | goal 107 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 20 00:48:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46p7sr/conflicting_comments_at_work_and_how_they_are_all/
---
I posted earlier today about how I've gained almost 10 pounds this past month and 5cm on my waist. I had forgotten to tell part of the story that really spurred me on to be serious about getting back down to a comfortable (low) weight.

As soon as I got into work on my first day back after holidays, an older (female) co-worker (who is trying to lose 15 pounds) asked me about my trip. I said it was nice, visited family, blah blah blah.

Her first comment floored me. I'm pretty sure she said "They (family) fed you well, hey?"

FUCK!!!

Now that I'm thinking about it, she may have said it more like "Did they feed you well?". But still!!!! OMG. Mortified. Super "inspiring" for me.

Then, strangely, a male co-worker made a completely contradictory comment later in the evening (he has said this exact same thing to me before, when I was originally losing and around this weight (120). "I have to say, you're really wasting away! Are you running more?" I said, "Actually, I've GAINED weight this month". End of conversation, basically.

So weird. I think the female co-worker is probably more perceptive than the male. But I've noticed weird patterns about comments. When I first started losing, I went from about 140 - 130 pretty quickly. Got positive, encouraging comments, and people (both male and female) were asking what I was doing differently, asking for advice. Then once I got to around 120, only the males would comment, with a worried kind of tone/perspective, "oh you're wasting away, you aren't still losing weight, are you?" Then when I was (briefly) 115-113, no one said anything... Probably concerned enough to think it was an issue, and didn't want to go there. Now that I've gained again, maybe the comments will continue for a bit because it's not so 'worrisome' looking.

My goal is for the comments to stop again, out of fear of bringing up an "issue".

I work in healthcare, and the male commenters are generally my parents' age, and the initial female commenters were closer to my age, then once I lost more and looked better, they stopped. Threatened, maybe?

Anyways, they all know I'm married, it's nothing creepy, more like a concerned father would be. It's all really awesome inspiration, no matter at what point - I can use it to my benefit!

[Discussion] What tea do you drink?
/u/aaren0
Created: Fri Feb 19 23:18:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46oyox/what_tea_do_you_drink/
---
I've seen a lot of people on here talking about how much they love drinking tea, so I was curious what your favorite flavors/brands are. (Also: do you add anything to yours or just drink it plain?)

I usually stick to chamomile or peppermint herbal tea, but I found some vanilla caramel black tea and jasmine green tea in my cupboard today and they were both really good!

[Thinspo] You guys are the best, so I drew you all a picture!
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 20:54:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ohw0/you_guys_are_the_best_so_i_drew_you_all_a_picture/
---
http://imgur.com/PxfrhPG

[Rant/Rave] Progress causes sabotage
/u/kanjicolossus [5'6 | 75,8kg | 26,54 | -4,2 | M]
Created: Fri Feb 19 20:42:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ogb2/progress_causes_sabotage/
---
I was just wondering if anyone else experiences seeing the number on the scale go down and then the same day you end up binging and basically undoing the hard work.

I find it to be chipping away at my confidence that I can't even look at the numbers change otherwise I know I'll subconsciously think "Oh, I made progress, I don't have to work anymore" for NO reason.

I'm just so frustrated.

[Intro] Intro and stuff
/u/shitterglitter
Created: Fri Feb 19 20:11:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46oc6j/intro_and_stuff/
---
Hey guys.... So um.... Yeah, I've been lurking on reddit for a while and ended up making an account because.... Shit dogs. I shit done fucked upppp. I apologize if this post isn't right or formatting is off or whatever. Okay, so.... I've been "recovering" lately. Well... Actually I let my shit get so out of control that everyone knew what was up. And I actually was getting better for a few weeks there but inevitably I ended up slipping back into restricting. Which wasn't too bad until this week when I went full out and had like... 2-300 cals a day. Well, that's all fine and dandy except my friend picked me up from the gym and bought me taco bell... Now... I dont frequent taco bell... Or any fast food joints typically. So we pull up to the window and im thinking salad doesn't normally have crazy calories... I was wrong. I was so wrong... This salad is like... 750 calories. That's like... The past three days worth of food for me. This is on top of my outrageous 300 cal protein shake I already drank. I couldn't take it.... Like... Its just too much. So I told her my bus comes every half hour even though it only comes once an hour and had her drop me off forty minutes early.... So that I could purge in the public bus station bathroom. It gets better. So I'm not really giving a shit at this point. I dont clean the toilet up or anything just rinse my hands off and walk out.... Theres a little old Mexican lady waiting for the stall. I cat even make eye contact and as I'm leaving she says something about me being in there for a long time. And if that didn't leave me feeling fucked up enough I got on my bus and noticed chunks of vomit on my hand still. Tldr- hi everyone im new here, I'm a shitty friend and I fucked up a little old lady's bathroom trip.

[Goal] I put down the pizza sticks.
/u/charlottevp [5'3''|130|-28 lbs|F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 19:51:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46o9gv/i_put_down_the_pizza_sticks/
---
Tonight I had a pack of pringles pizza sticks and sardines for dinner (not as nasty as you would think, I promise). I was still hungry so I had another pack, and while I reached for another I thought to myself "hey, you aren't hungry anymore. Those 70 calories aren't worth it." If I can put down the food, I believe all of you can, too. :-)

[Tip] 50 things to do instead of binging~
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Fri Feb 19 19:33:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46o6w8/50_things_to_do_instead_of_binging/
---
ā€¢Do your hair. Try a waterfall braid, twin buns, bunches, look up some YouTube tutorials to find something really interesting to try

ā€¢Paint your nails. Maybe try a new cour or refresh your favourite. It's extra helpful because binging would ruin your nail job(:

ā€¢Try some new makeup. Try a smokey eye or a a new colour scheme.

ā€¢Drink Tea. I think light flavours like green tea with lemon are the best, because they taste so pure and they squash hunger. Or maybe try a more harsh one like a black tea with raspberry or a dark Earl Grey. It comes in so many flavours, even things like Papaya Dragon Fruit Melon! All for 0 calories (unless you add sugar or cream, then it's not :P)

ā€¢Exercise! Do some crunches or leg lifts to renew your determination or do some yoga to calm yourself and relax, or anything else(:

ā€¢Watch a TV show you like. You'll get so involved in the story you'll forget about eating ^_^

ā€¢Look at thinspo

ā€¢Play with your pet if you have one. It could help take your mind off food(:

ā€¢Journal. I find it to be very relaxing and calming and fun.

ā€¢Think up a story. It's great to occupy your mind in a creative way

ā€¢Read a book. It's so immersive and will take up lots of time

ā€¢Listen to music. Dance or sing along, just get lost in it. Bonus if you listen to songs with uplifting/motivation lyrics (or whatever helps you stick to your goals)

ā€¢Draw. It keeps your hands busy.

ā€¢Try on all your clothes and remind yourself how much better they'll look once you've reached your goal :3

ā€¢Look at outfits you'd like to try online. I love doing this to avoid a binge, I look at all of the things I want to try and remind myself that firstly, I'll look amazing in them once I'm skinny and secondly that if I reach my goal I'll reward myself and buy some.

ā€¢Reflect. Think about your day or week so far, what went right, what went wrong, what was out of your control and what you can improve.

ā€¢Study. Focus on that instead, bonus because it's productive^_^

ā€¢Brush your teeth. It will make you feel clean and refreshed and nothing tastes as good after because of the mint overload.

ā€¢Write a poem or a song. Fun and expressing yourself can help to alleviate binge urges, because it's a major stress reducer to get negative feelings out, and a huge mood boost to express happy ones(:

ā€¢Play a game. Download a free game to your phone, toss a ball, shoot hoops, play chess, whatever.

ā€¢List your goals. Keep your eyes on the prize!

ā€¢Punch a pillow if your distressed or angry or upset. It will help get those feelings out without needing to confide in food.

ā€¢Talk to a friend or meet someone new. Start a conversation to spend your time instead.

ā€¢Find a YouTube playlist and vow to watch all of them.

ā€¢Try a new hobby. Knitting, collecting, watching anime, blogging, playing an instrument, whatever you want.

ā€¢Binge watch something. Feast on stories instead of food(:

ā€¢Drink some water. Hot water will make you feel even fuller than room-temperature water.

ā€¢Research something. Think up a topic and learn about it. It could take up hours if it's interesting(:

ā€¢Rearrange your room! It's new and exciting.

ā€¢Chew gum or suck on some sugar-free mints. Yummy^_^

ā€¢Compile an album of something, cute animals, beautiful hairstyles or colours, outfits you like, pictures of your favourite bands, etc.

ā€¢Take nap. Naps are nice, and you can't binge if you're asleep.

ā€¢Look for some funny/cute/profound/relatable/lovable blogs or facebook pages or instagrams to prowl through.

ā€¢Design something. Your dream body, a dress, a bedroom. Sketch it or think or actuall do it. It could be lots of fun.

ā€¢List all of the reasons why you shouldn't.

ā€¢Name all the reasons you want to, and then counter each one with a reason you don't want to.

ā€¢Have a snack. Try some celery and peanut butter, Greek yogurt (super filling so it feels like a lot), something else light and small and healthy.

ā€¢Eat the opposite of what your craving (in moderation of course). If you want to eat a whole bag of potato chips, have a mandarin or something else sweet instead. It will take your mind off the saltiness.

ā€¢List all the things you'll do once you've reached your goal

ā€¢Make a gift for someone. Sweet and helpful(:

ā€¢Memorize some trivia, if you'd like that.

ā€¢Make scenes out of emojis

ā€¢Use positive self talk. You can do it. You're brave. You're strong. You are a badass bitch who won't take shit from anyone, not even yourself. You deserve to be happy. You are good. You matter. You're important.

ā€¢Remember thinspo quotes. "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", "You've come too far to take orders from a cookie", "A moment on the lips, forever on the hips", "Hungry to bed, hungry to rise, makes a girl a smaller size"

ā€¢Poke the areas you want to be smaller.

ā€¢Run your fingers over the areas you don't want to get bigger.

ā€¢Do a face mask. Self-care helps improve mood.

ā€¢Moisturize. This should take up a few minutes(:

ā€¢Take a shower or bath with nice-smelling soaps or bath bombs.

ā€¢Go outside and enjoy some fresh air.

Brutally honest opinion, please.
/u/Swallowedwhole
Created: Fri Feb 19 19:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46o5wk/brutally_honest_opinion_please/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ddRTG

[Discussion] Sliiiiightly drunk, does this make sense?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 19:14:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46o4b6/sliiiiightly_drunk_does_this_make_sense/
---
Your lowest weight is your 'realest' weight, right? Cause that's without food/water/poop weight, right? And then you kinda have to account for the rest when something is abnormally high. But abnormally low=how your body actually weighs, right? Sry life is fuzzy rn

[Discussion] MyFitnessPal has no pals :(
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 145lbs|22.8|-40lbs|F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 19:00:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46o2g5/myfitnesspal_has_no_pals/
---
I need some pals. :(

I reactivated my account after a few months (13lol) and I need some team support. Any lovelies want to add me? I read an article about how socializing, even online improves mood and fights depression because you feel connected. It said even going solo to a concert or a crowded movie (comedy) helps boost mood because you feel social and part of a group. So I'm reaching out to help my bipolar and to have a group of social support.

ilovemyjoey is my user name.


I will tag after I post because I'm on mobile.

[Help] Vegetarianism/Veganism
/u/MrsHiMyNameIsHannah [5'6"| 135lbs | 21.79 | -45 | UGW 114 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 18:37:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46nz7z/vegetarianismveganism/
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Hi, Hello, I hope everyone is having a wonderful Friday! I was just wondering if anyone here followed or has followed a vegetarian or vegan diet? I've been following a Vegetarian diet for a while and om starting to branch off with some vegan options such as non-dairy milks and household items that don't contain any animal products(soaps, shampoos etc.). Also if any of you do follow a diet, do you have any good tips or a food list for transitioning to veganism? Any help would be appreciated

[Help] I am craving French fries like it's not even funny
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 186 | 30.97 | -64 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 17:49:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46nsgm/i_am_craving_french_fries_like_its_not_even_funny/
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Any low cal ideas that might shut my craveings up? I tried salty stuff... No help. Googled what craveings mean and tried that (calcium), no help.

[Discussion] What are your "favorite" foods?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 17:43:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46nrov/what_are_your_favorite_foods/
---
I friggen love peanut butter, but it's waaaaay too high in calories ;_; what are your indulgence foods you can't help but binge on? Mine are peanut butter, nuts, fruit, and Asian food.

(Also note, I may or may not have to promise to avoid that buttery goodness because it's getting out of hand...OTL)

[Rant/Rave] I thought today could be good, but then...
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 58.8kg | 21.6 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 17:04:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46nlt6/i_thought_today_could_be_good_but_then/
---
For the first time in ages, I have plans today which don't involve going to work, so I thought I could have just one normal day and it wouldn't be a big deal, but I don't think that's going to happen.

In the past couple of months, I've had one day without purging, and that's when I fasted instead. I try to fast and then end up too hungry to stand it and then I binge in the afternoon/evening. I know the solution is to eat normal meals and gradually cut down, but I feel uncomfortable just thinking about that, it feels like a big risk for some reason.

I go back and forth on whether I want to change and whether I am even capable of changing. Some days I think I keep doing this shit because I don't want to deal with the real world and if I could just get some discipline then I'd be fine. Some days I realise that I am a food addict and there's no way I could just 'switch' to eating normally. Today I woke up and felt like I could have a good day, maybe even have a normal amount of food rather than binging and purging, but then I remembered that M&Ms exist, and it's all I can think about. They're not even that good, and there are so many reasons not to eat them, but I want them in the same way a smoker wants a cigarette, except I have actually quit smoking and over time I stopped craving cigarettes, but my food cravings never completely leave me alone.

I dunno where I was going with this. I do want to be healthy (healthier, at least) and I definitely want to be slim, but I also want to eat like a crazy person and purge everything and block out the world. More than that, I want a good life - friends, partners, fulfilling work, hobbies and interests, genuinely experiencing and living life - but on the other hand, I want to be disordered and un-fixable because that's how I've always been and it's so familiar and safe even though I hate it. I don't know what to do, but all my choices in life seem to boil down to what I eat.

Read this on r fitness. Thought you guys would like.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 19 16:39:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ni4e/read_this_on_r_fitness_thought_you_guys_would_like/
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[deleted]

[Help] What vitamins do you take (and can you have too many)?
/u/aaren0
Created: Fri Feb 19 14:51:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46n0t6/what_vitamins_do_you_take_and_can_you_have_too/
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I've been taking One a Day multivitamins for months now, and I recently added fish oil supplements and hair, skin & nails supplements (I try to take them all with food btw). Do you think that's too much? Is there anything else I should be taking in addition to/instead of these three?

What do you guys do?

[Discussion] Fasting for a week
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 14:50:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46n0m9/fasting_for_a_week/
---
So in the future I'd like to see how long I could go fasting (aiming for a week.)

If my TDEE is 1800 and I multiply that by 7 (days), my calorie deficit would be 12,600 cals for a week.

12,600/ 3500 (cals for a pound) = **3.6 lbs.**

So is that the most I could lose in a week? Did I do my maths properly?

Because I saw some other people post here that they lost almost 8 lbs in a week, do you think that was water weight or they had a higher TDEE?

[Rant/Rave] I'm back with a vengeance...
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 118.0 lbs | 20.51 | ~27 lost | goal 107 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 14:49:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46n0j8/im_back_with_a_vengeance/
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... a vengeance against the fat I've gained!

I stopped looking at this sub for a bit and didn't post for a long time. I miss it.

I gained weight (basically 10 pounds) in the last month after reaching my lowest adult weight of 113. My husband thought I should be careful to avoid losing more weight, and I kind of agreed and so I tried to just maintain. I stopped tracking calories (still did it mentally) and didn't exercise and just kind went with the flow. I just got back from vacation. I don't usually drink at all, but those 11 days I drank a fair amount basically every night. I also went out to eat way too many times and indulged in pastries, cookies, and snacks.

Predictably, I could not maintain and I gained. It felt like it came on suddenly, over like 2 days. I swear I could feel the fat cells expanding - I'm not even joking, my skin was kinda tingly and itchy feeling on my thighs and stomach.

It's disgusting and I can clearly see and feel the difference. I measured myself and I have gained in circumference on every part of my body except my neck and wrists... I gained 5 whole centimetres on my waist. It feels so disgusting.

Anyways, I'm doing my best to get back on track and lose this awful fat as quickly as possible. Today I've just had coffee, tea, sparkling water, and I have to eat dinner at work in front of people so I made a really low calorie veggie soup and I'm bringing an apple. That's it.

Thanks for being an inspiration and a safe place for me to be true to my aspirations.

Stay strong, Lovelies!

[Discussion] What are your favorite low cal meals that look like a normal to large amount of food?
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 133 | 21.55 | -17.6 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 14:41:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46mz5v/what_are_your_favorite_low_cal_meals_that_look/
---
When my boyfriend visits me I try to have things around for me to eat that have low calories and large portions but don't come across as too diet-y (i.e. salad). I'm sure there are lots of you who do the same thing so I was curious about your go-tos.

For me, my favorites are:

* **Gardein Fishless Fillets** (2 for 180 cal) with 1 tbsp ketchup (20 cal) with cooked from frozen green beans (170g/6 oz for 48 cal) with a squeeze of lemon (~5 cal) and cajun seasoning. **Total = 253 calories**. This is probably the best one for me cos I can always have it on hand (frozen ingredients), it looks like a lot of food, and I can easily make it into a more calorific meal for him by adding potato wedges or something.
* **Vegan Shepherd's Pie** made with TVP, vegetables, and almost no oil. The recipe is my own and a little complex or I'd post it here. But a serving ends up being about a 5 in x 4 in x 2.5 in piece, it's filling as hell, and I had to tell my boyfriend he probably shouldn't eat it because it's **298 calories per serving** and he got stuffed off of one... and he's trying to gain weight.
* **Vegetable Soup** - probably the most obvious one. The stuff is great when you want to eat everything in sight but need to keep calories low. If you make it with mostly non-starchy vegetables like cabbage, cauliflower, tomatoes, celery, onion, etc you can have like a quart of the stuff for **<250 cals**.

[Discussion] What are your favorite apps?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 19 14:31:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46mxee/what_are_your_favorite_apps/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Mono dieting to break a plateau
/u/trampledherbage [5'3" | CW: 99 | 18.02 | GW: 93 LW: -16 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 14:10:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46mtvv/mono_dieting_to_break_a_plateau/
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Do any of you mono diet? I've never done so intentionally (though I've often looked back and realized retrospectively that I mono-ed through a day or two), and I wonder what your experiences with it are?

I've been thinking of doing a yogurt, oatmeal, or perhaps low-sodium soup mono to get through this godforsaken plateau--have any of you had success with that?

[Discussion] Does anyone else experience this?
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Fri Feb 19 14:06:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46mt9n/does_anyone_else_experience_this/
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I have been reading a lot about you guys doing EC stacking, and preferences over primatene, bronkaid, etc. I have asthma and it flairs up pretty bad with allergy and cold season. So I'm on advair, xopenex and albuterol. I picked up a couple boxes of primatene and decided to give it a go but everything feels like numb/tingly. Almost as if my limbs are on the verge of falling asleep and I get waves of nausea. Any remedies would be much appreciated

[Tip] Helpful post about binging from r/loseit
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 127 | 18.42 | -15 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 14:03:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46msta/helpful_post_about_binging_from_rloseit/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/46il3b/binge_eating_faqadvice/

[Tip] Helpful post about binging from r/loseit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 19 13:48:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46mq76/helpful_post_about_binging_from_rloseit/
---
https://www.np.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/46il3b/binge_eating_faqadvice/

[Intro] Thank you for this subreddit :)
/u/Lucy_Moran [5'2" | CW: FAT | BMI: no | -25 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 13:33:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46mnh4/thank_you_for_this_subreddit/
---
Just introducing myself. New to reddit but not new to ED's. Was "in recovery" and finally prescribed meds that helped with my depression & anxiety (Effexor). It made me lazy & I gained so much weight. Now I'm fat, and miserable. Heavier than I've ever been. So, probably not wisely, I stopped taking my meds, started reducing/restricting calories & have been working out everyday for the past month. I'm determined to be thin again.

God there has to be an anti depressant/anti anxiety that doesn't make you gain weight! I feel like I've tried them all & they didn't work. Sigh.

[Discussion] Erotic food rituals...?
/u/jippityjuniper [5'7" | 154 | 24.04 | -14 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 13:13:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46mjqt/erotic_food_rituals/
---
I've developed a sort of weird, almost erotic, ritual with my food this past week, even weirder than other rituals I have or have ever had. I'm even a little embarrassed to type it out but I'd really like to know if anyone else does anything like this.

So, I get my carefully prepared and measured food and place it the way I want it on the plate, and then proceed to cut it into tiny tiny bites. I have a specific size I like the bites to be, which doesn't really mean anything to anyone else. Anyway, after all of this, if it's a veggie burger or something of the sort I usually use mustard because I love a sauce and mustard is (typically) 0 cal. So, this is the weird part. Every time I eat something now (always in private) I have this habit of...licking it? I smell each bite, lick it thoroughly, then slowly slowly chew it about 20-30 times before finally swallowing it. Sometimes I'll just douse it in the mustard, lick all the mustard off slowly, and then finally take the bite into my mouth. I've even...um...moaned a bit while chewing my food, especially if I haven't eaten in a long time.

God, it feels so odd to actually type this all out. Guess I kinda just want some confirmation that I'm not a total weirdo for this?

[Goal] Broke down and ordered take out last night...
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 13:13:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46mjq6/broke_down_and_ordered_take_out_last_night/
---
But I was drunk so I passed out before they called to deliver.

Sorry, pasta guys. I know you wasted some food on me.

But I didn't need it.

Thanks though.

[Rant/Rave] So I'm declaring war on pizza.
/u/beadsofjade [5'4 | nah | 24 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 12:18:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ma1m/so_im_declaring_war_on_pizza/
---
No food should be that delicious.

I don't even have it yet, but I'm thinking about ordering some because I'm home alone all day and today is one of those days where leaving the house just isn't gonna happen. The only thing that makes me nervous is if I order it, I'll eat an ungodly amount. Guh.

Life is hard.

Hope everyone's having a good day~ <3

[Help] I can't help it... I fucking love skinny girls
/u/makeherskinny
Created: Fri Feb 19 12:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46m77l/i_cant_help_it_i_fucking_love_skinny_girls/
---
[removed]

[Intro] This Sub <3
/u/violet-galaxies [5'2 | 25.6 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 11:22:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46lzow/this_sub_3/
---
So, I've lurked around this sub for a pretty long time, and I've been pleasantly surprised as to how open this community is so I went ahead and made myself a throwaway. I'm currently a bit overweight (BMI of 25.6). I'm not fat, but I'm definitely not skinny enough. I'm not perfect yet. My problem is, I have a bit of a binge-and-restrict problem. I just need some help on preventing binges - so far today I've been doing wonderfully (starting the healthy skinny girl diet), and I hope I can keep it up <3

Basically, can anyone give me binge prevention tips?

[Help] So, can anyone help me?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Feb 19 11:07:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46lwyt/so_can_anyone_help_me/
---
I've done very good at restricting the last month or so, lost a lot. This week has been though tho, keep binging and binging. How do I get myself together and restrict again?

[Rant/Rave] Needing a little accountability.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 19 10:52:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46lu26/needing_a_little_accountability/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Has anyone here ever bet money on their own weight loss (eg DietBet)? What was the outcome?
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 09:50:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46liv3/has_anyone_here_ever_bet_money_on_their_own/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46liv3/has_anyone_here_ever_bet_money_on_their_own/

[Discussion] Where do you put your pedometer?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 09:30:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46lf8n/where_do_you_put_your_pedometer/
---
I don't have belt loops to hook it onto because I wear leggings. I don't want to hook it on my bra strap because I'll have a lump under my shirt. Could I put it in my shoelaces or would that be too much vibration for it?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 19 09:02:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46laj7/daily_food_diary_february_19_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] What are your favorite everyday tips and tricks?
/u/MymlanOhlin
Created: Fri Feb 19 08:25:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46l4ay/what_are_your_favorite_everyday_tips_and_tricks/
---
I try to make sure I make the most of my everyday tasks. For example I like doing calf raises when standing in line or cooking to burn a couple of extra calories. I also like swallowing my meds with sparkling water. I used to need something with flavor to swallow them because of their awful aftertaste, but now when we have a Soda stream I can eliminate those calories! The carbonation really masks the chalky flavor of my pills.

[Discussion] Most weight lost in a week?
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 111.8 | 19.57 | -29 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 08:06:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46l1k6/most_weight_lost_in_a_week/
---
This past week I've broken so many personal records. Firstly, I reached my first goal weight in less time than expected, also haven't binged and never exceeded my calorie intake per day.
This resulted in me losing about 8.4 lbs so far and there's still two more days left until my week ends. I know some was water weight, that's probably why it feels like i haven't lost anything, but still makes me feel better.

I just wanted to hear; what has been the most weight you have lost in the span of a week?

[Discussion] A pyrrhic victory.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 19 07:06:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ks8p/a_pyrrhic_victory/
---
I've been suffering from crippling bouts of depression for the last weeks.


It's insanely shitty, I have to cede.


But on the other hand, I no longer feel hungry or have the need to binge. I'm either too sad to be hungry or just plain "well FOOD isn't going to help me get better".


Because food is just food and not a crutch or an outlet or my friend/enemy. It's just bloody food. Fuel. It isn't going to fix me to eat that oatmeal or those crisps. That chocolate bar isn't going to magically make me feel better. I know I'll regret it not five minutes after.


I currently have some trigger foods in my house (half a flapjack bar, oatmeal, milk) and I don't feel the need to eat any of them. Sure, I COULD. But what's the point?


I used to eat something else after breakfast in January because I "didn't feel full enough" even after 500 calories of breakfast. Today I ate a bowl of greek yogurt with strawberries and even though I for a brief moment felt like eating something else as well (cue the oatmeal), that feeling ceded and I went for an hour long run instead.


Hi, my name's Fiona and I'm no longer hungry. It's awesome. And debilitatingly horrible at the same time.

[Rant/Rave] Mini Rant Before Work
/u/Whisper_silence [5'2" | 119.7 | FAT | -15 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 07:05:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ks6v/mini_rant_before_work/
---
Good morning beautiful people. I just needed to vent to get this off my chest before my students come in and my day begins.

I was SO excited last night. I think my husband noticed our leftovers weren't getting eaten (though they never did before I started heavily restricting) and he asked me to make sure we eat them. We had curry, so I avoided food like the plague all day, weighed my white rice, weighed the curry and found a suitable comparison in MFP. I came in under 600 kcals for the day and I treated myself to some sweet pickles.

This morning? I'm back up from 121.8 to 123.8. WHY. I rationally know it's water weight but I was so excited to be 120 by next week! I got myself all excited and hopeful that just maybe there was a way for me to appear normal in front of my husband. Maybe I could treat myself to restaurant food like curry once in a while as long as I portioned correctly.

Defeated start to the day. Hopefully it will get better. Stacking today and already logged every bite for the day into MFP. Coming in under 500 kcals.

Stay strong, pretties.

(Sorry, on mobile and no app so I can't flair)

[Goal] I'm so glad to be under all of this "ideal weights"
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 06:15:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46kknq/im_so_glad_to_be_under_all_of_this_ideal_weights/
---
http://imgur.com/R31nugy

[Goal] broke my plateau!
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 05:14:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46kcgp/broke_my_plateau/
---
despite two days of binging I broke my plateau! Time to change the flair. Very happy ish except the library is shut today so I am probably going to stay home and b/p all day long, because you know, that makes sense, especially considering I have this massive piece of work due in on, oh, Monday! Already binged and purged once today! LOL

But yay! Don't feel very tiny but took some photos which who knows, I might actually share in that selfie thread.

Next goal: 90lbs, let's do this!

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! February 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 19 05:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46kb45/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_february_19/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for February 19, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread!

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Intro] Hi!
/u/p7entifull [63"| 100|17.7 | -17| F]
Created: Fri Feb 19 01:04:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46jm8a/hi/
---
I've been lurking for a long time now, but have always been too timid to introduce myself. But the love and support shown in this sub is overwhelming and I finally feel brave enough for a hello and introduction.

I'll keep it short and to the point. I've struggled with ED issues most of my life, but have never had an official diagnosis.

For the past few months I was restricting and maintaining beautifully, at the time it didn't feel like it, but in retrospect, I was very on top of things.

However, lately the stress of my job, school, and personal relationships has caused me to feel out of control and i feel my body changing and most days I just can't stand the way things are headed.

This sub is one of the few things that makes me feel better and more connected. You all are beautiful and so kind. I hope to stay active and more involved with this awesome group. Thank you!!

[Help] I want to be skinny again!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 19 00:27:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46jisb/i_want_to_be_skinny_again/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I feel like I'm losing my mind.
/u/tyrannoperson [5'6" | 132.9lbs | 21.54 | -76.1 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 22:03:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46j1dr/i_feel_like_im_losing_my_mind/
---
I went to my first meal group tonight, in my attempt at recovery. And I agree to meal plans. And I can't do any of it. I just restrict to make up for the binges and the binges get worse and the restriction gets worse. And the EC stack is making me more anxious, but I don't want to give it up.

What they tell me to do is probably reasonable, but I don't believe them and I only see it as leading me back to obesity. I don't like recovery but I don't like feeling so crazy either.

All I have to do is eat some more, I don't know why it's so hard.

[Discussion] PHP and fasting
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 110.6 | 16.63 | -34 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 22:02:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46j177/php_and_fasting/
---
I was looking at a hospital near me that has a specialized EDs unit and they said "partial hospitalization is indicated if the patient refuses to stop engaging in pathological weight control measures such as fasting or purging."

I don't mean to judge anyone else or how you wonderful people fast! But I'm wondering what *they* mean. What do PHP/hospital people consider a fast? If I have a 100 calorie coffee, does that mean I'm not fasting? What if I drink 800 calories of protein shakes but don't eat any actual food (this sounds too stupid to be true but with psychs you never know)? There is almost nothing on God's green Earth more valuable to me than not being in hospital, which is why I'm asking.

[Goal] I'm up at the gym, just working on my fitness...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 18 21:28:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46iwhq/im_up_at_the_gym_just_working_on_my_fitness/
---
http://imgur.com/AKm3lNN

[Discussion] Music that makes you feel skinny??
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 21:20:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ivbv/music_that_makes_you_feel_skinny/
---
Whenever I listen to Selena Gomez (songs like "Hands to Myself" or "Good for You") they just make me feel skinny and fun and I'm not hungry anymore. Does this happen to anybody else? Does anybody else have songs they listen to to feel that way?

I'm not even a big pop hits person, but man, do I love me some Selena Gomez. It doesn't hurt that her music videos are actual thinspo too.

Shoplifting Š¢hŠµ BŠ¾oty Call.
/u/elveire14377
Created: Thu Feb 18 20:42:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46iq3s/shoplifting_тhŠµ_bŠ¾oty_call/
---
http://imgur.com/LALQoTw

[Tip] ~60 cal single serving brownie!! Tastes just like the real thing!!
/u/pointmass [5'6" | 108.4 lbs | 17.47 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 20:20:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46in2y/60_cal_single_serving_brownie_tastes_just_like/
---
http://imgur.com/bWLfJYe

[Rant/Rave] I just purged for the first time and it feels like a huge weight has lifted off of my shoulders.
/u/Accedent
Created: Thu Feb 18 20:08:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ild7/i_just_purged_for_the_first_time_and_it_feels/
---
Usually I just restrict. My "good" days I keep down at 600cal, if not I am usually able to keep around 1000, which I do 2-3 times a week. But I also struggle with bingeing and I always get uncomfortably full (and usually shoot my intake for the day over 2000cal which makes me nauseous all on its own...) and obviously it slows my weight gain down a lot.

Every time I always just wish I could just empty my stomach and 1) get rid of the horrible over-full feeling and 2) at least take back SOME calories. I know that it doesn't get rid of a whole lot (certainly way less than I'd like... which is 100%...) but every time I've tried I've never been able to. Once someone suggested a toothbrush which was BAD because that caused bleeding...

So today I binged on carbs (like... not even 5 days after my last binge, what the FUCK) and I got to freaking out again and I just couldn't believe how disgusting and fat and weak I was. I got in the shower and laid down crying and realized I was feeling sick, and on a whim I started trying again with just my finger tips and finally something clicked. It was the back of my throat. And suddenly probably for the next 10-15 minutes I managed to mostly empty my stomach.

I HAVE NEVER FELT SO RELIEVED. To know that I can relieve the pressure of a binge AND chuck up some calories and redeem at least a small amount made me feel way less worthless and like I had some actual control over my obsessive binges. I feel like I have a fallback if all else fails and I can at least take some of it back and make myself feel a bit better.

I just want to cry I am so happy. Maybe it will help stop the slow down.

I guess the question is, if I only have like one binge every week to every two weeks, to I have to worry about a lot of harm reduction pertaining to this? This is a whole new and exciting world for me. I never thought I'd be so freaking happy to puke my guts out.

[Discussion] Favorite types of gum?
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 19:59:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ik2q/favorite_types_of_gum/
---
I've been chewing a crap ton of gum lately to stop from bingeing. Wondering what favorite brands and flavours you guys like. I've heard 5-gum has lasting flavor, but it's been a while since I've had any...

Anyway, What do you suggest?

[Rant/Rave] I went into the kitchen resigned to binge...
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Thu Feb 18 19:50:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46iiwh/i_went_into_the_kitchen_resigned_to_binge/
---
But.

I opened the fridge, looked around, and began to reach for the cheese, going to eat the entire pack...but then the Greek yogurt caught my eye. Greek yogurt with raspberries on the bottom.

And I ate that instead. Only that. Not the cheese and cookies and ice cream and chicken and tacos. Just the greek yogurt. 130 calories.

I stayed within my calorie goal and avoided a binge(:

I'm so proud of me

[Help] I want to binge so bad
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 133 | 21.55 | -17.6 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 19:37:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ih0a/i_want_to_binge_so_bad/
---
On both food and alcohol. I hit a new low weight this morning and now my brain wants to jeopardize the high point of my day. Honestly what the hell. I'm not even at a particularly low calorie count for the day so far at 825. I just want to eat food and get drunk and check out of life for a little bit. If anyone has a healthier alternative that can accomplish this I would appreciate it. I would go for a run or something but I'm sick and my lungs are not down for that kind of activity.

[Discussion] Trying out my first EC stack.
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Thu Feb 18 19:08:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46icik/trying_out_my_first_ec_stack/
---
Hello all! I am not sure that this question belongs here. If it doesn't, then feel free to suggest where I can post it. I am trying an EC stack to burn more fat. Has anyone else tried the EC stack? I have a mix of 2 capsules (or 1 gram) L-Tyrosine, 200 mg caffeine, 1 tab of Aspirin, and 20 mg a Ephedrine. Any changes or adjustments? I also would like to know if there are any side effects worth noting.Thanks!

[Help] BF keeps telling me anorexia is stupid... Any idea on how to get him to quit it without admitting I have ED issues?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 186 | 30.97 | -64 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 17:58:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46i1tb/bf_keeps_telling_me_anorexia_is_stupid_any_idea/
---
We're watching Supersized vs super skinny... And he keeps saying anorexia is stupid and anyone with it should see they're ugly and just eat. I keep telling him that's like telling a depressed person to just be happy but it doesn't seem to be clicking with him. Any suggestions on explaining it another way?

I have never heard him be so hateful...

[Intro] (Intro) Just wanted to say hello
/u/dissimuler [5'4 | 117.6 | 20.85 | -12.4 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 17:56:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46i1ki/intro_just_wanted_to_say_hello/
---
So, I've been lurking here for a while and decided that it was time for me to create an account and finally say hello to everyone. I'm a 21 year old college student and I've struggled with my weight since middle school. Recently my weight has reached an all time high and I can't go on in this world constantly feeling miserable about myself. I'm hoping that posting this here will help keep me accountable and help me reach my goals.
HW:135 LW:114 CW:130
My goal is to be 105 before I graduate this May
I think the amount of support everyone in this community has for one another is wonderful and I would really like to get to know you all. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

[Discussion] Is there any good thinspo on Reddit?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 18 17:26:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46hwqu/is_there_any_good_thinspo_on_reddit/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] When you're short [rant to rave]
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Thu Feb 18 17:22:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46hw7c/when_youre_short_rant_to_rave/
---
When you're short gaining 2 pounds looks like gaining 5.

When you're short no matter what clothes you buy it doesn't hang right.

When you're short it's hard to find thinspo you can achieve because all of them are like 5'6-5'10

And you have to convert their measurements into proportions because you can't compare sheer numbers to someone who's 9 inches taller than you.

When you're short your mini body burns less calories as-is.

But...

when you're short it's easier to fool people with the "I have a small frame" line.

when you're short you can convince people you're full easier ("Seriously, that portion was taller than I am, heheh")

and make excuses for being in the bathroom so frequently/long (I'm so little I can't hold as much as you")

and you can buy your jeans in the children's section for half the price once you get to your goal weight, if you want.

And you feel even more cozy in oversized sweaters.

And knee-high socks will be thigh-high socks

Plus you get to pull your sleeves down over your hands cause their too long ^//.^

When your short, *losing* 2 pounds looks like losing 5.

You get to feel like a figurine or a doll once you've dropped the dropped the weight.

And feel so very delicate at your miniature height.

[Discussion] Let's talk about skin!
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 102.8 | 18.71 | -12.2 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 16:21:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46hmez/lets_talk_about_skin/
---
Further to ana-wrecks-ya's awesome suggestion for a weekly beauty/self-care thread I thought I would ask you guys for your favorite skincare tips right now, especially body skin and ESPECIALLY if you're like 30+. I was never seriously overweight for my height (HW of 130 like 10 years ago) but as I drop lower than I've been in a long time I'm noticing that my skin isn't really tight and perfect any more. Any tips besides drinking all the water all the time?

[Discussion] Oh the anxiety of having no scale...
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 117.8 lbs | 21.5 | -13.8 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 15:59:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46hixf/oh_the_anxiety_of_having_no_scale/
---
I'm 1,100 miles away from home, in Florida at my best friend's house, and there's no scale here. We keep going out to eat and I've been eating more than normal because usually I'll only have around 300 calories or less. I've definitely gained weight, I can just see it in my gut, although I know it wasn't too much, maybe 2-3 pounds. I came here at 117, so who knows. All I know is it's giving me anxiety because if I was able to check it every morning, I'd know how much I need to watch what I eat. Ugh. Anyone else ever feel like that when they can't weigh themselves? I've seen other posts on here from people who don't really use scales at all and instead rely on other body factors to know, which is what I'm trying to do, it's just hard for me. I wonder if anyone else feels this kind of anxiety or if I'm just going crazy lol. Probably the latter. I tend to panic when my days don't go as usual or as planned...

Also bought new jeans at Hollister. I was a size 5 but lost enough weight and am now a 3. I feel like the size 3 is a little tight, but of course there's no size 4, and size 5 is way too loose on me. Oh well, soon I'll fit much better.

Also, I made a post a week or two about some weird bleeding and I told /u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell that I'd update. So here's what I know so far. blood test for std came back normal, so not that. Gyno exam and pap smear, normal. I'm a day late on my period, no signs of getting it thus far but took a pregnancy test and just as I suspected anyways, negative. Still weirded out why the bleeding happened but maybe I'll never know and it was just some random thing. But thanks /u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell for the suggestion and concern. It's nice to see people on this sub who like being helpful :)

Guess this was just some little rant, but I'll flair as a discussion because it would be nice to hear anyone's opinions on when you don't have the opportunity to weigh yourself. Like I said, so. much. anxiety. :(

[Thinspo] My goals.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 15:48:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46hh55/my_goals/
---
http://i.imgur.com/SAuKDQp.jpg

[Help] Phone Background?
/u/lightandempty [5'2.75" | 109.8lbs | 20.19 | -15.2 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 15:25:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46hd8r/phone_background/
---
Whenever I see reminders to not binge or stick to my goals or something like that, it motivates me. However, that's only for a short time. I feel that it would help a lot if I could have a reminder like that that I see every time I pick up or look at my phone, which is a lot.

So I was wondering if you guys had any good ideas for phone backgrounds/lockscreens? Maybe inspirational messages or good pictures. It would have to be kind of discreet, though. So people wouldn't see my phone and ask why I have a picture of a girl showing off her ribs and hipbones as my phone screen, or why I have the words "don't eat fatty".

Maybe a thinspo girl from a movie, or show, so that I can use the excuse that she's my favorite character? Or an inspirational quote that can be used in an ED context?

[Help] Leaderboards - ERROR 403
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 14:48:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46h6j1/leaderboards_error_403/
---
Is anyone else having trouble updating stats on the Leaderboards? I am getting a **403 error: forbidden access**??? I can access the overall charts, but not my personal stats.

[403 error msg](http://i.imgur.com/II8ce0r.png)

I tried restarting my browser, I tried logging out and then back in again... nothing. Haven't been able to access my stats all day. Am I the only one having tech issues?

[Discussion] Appetite suppression: wellbutrin vs adderall
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 127 | 18.42 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 13:17:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46gq7x/appetite_suppression_wellbutrin_vs_adderall/
---
I've been on adderall for a while now but was just prescribed wellbutrin (bupropion) last week. Both meds cause a decrease in appetite, but I noticed they do it in different ways for me. I thought I would post in case anyone is interested and to compare experiences with other people here.

With adderall I do not physically feel hungry but I still want to eat. It does not stop me from constantly thinking about food. I've binged while on adderall even when I'm not hungry. So for me it definitely doesn't curb emotional eating.

Wellbutrin is the opposite for me. I feel hungry but I just don't want to eat. Nothing appeals to me. I think it tackles the emotional part of why I eat rather than the physical cues.

With both meds working together I completely don't care about food. It's pretty wonderful, though very strange. I've only been on the wellbutrin for a week (so I still feel just as depressed) so I don't know if this side effect will fade.

Anyone else have similar experiences?

[Help] Boxing and Restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 18 13:12:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46gph5/boxing_and_restricting/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Is anyone else always exhausted?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 18 12:53:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46glu6/is_anyone_else_always_exhausted/
---
[deleted]

[Help] But whyyyy
/u/butcustardcreams [5'9" | 67.8 kgs | 22.1 | -5.2 kgs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 12:48:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46gkzr/but_whyyyy/
---
Sorry I'm a bit drunk (**Edit: GMT time zone, it's 8 pm here, im not an alcoholic i swear :p**) as I type this so please excuse the lack of sense. Over the course of this week, I've spent 2 days on a fast, one unfortunately big binge on Chinese takeaway due to munchies (drugs are bad kids!) , one restaurant meal and 384 calories for breakfast this morning.

So since Monday, thats 4 days, I've had ~4000+3000+384= 7384 calories, and that's an overestimation as I tend to not be able to eat anywhere near 3000 calories at a time (based on averages from when I have calculated binges from calories dense food)

But even if you go by that, it would be approximately 1900 calories a day, which is still disgustingly high (I'm definitely going to get the binges back in control next week) but my tdee is ~1800 so I shouldn't have gained this much. **I've gained 2 kilos in 4 days.**

I really am going to get the eating under control, because I look in the mirror and I just want to cry at how disgusting I am, and I'm going to delete the account I have for the justeat website I used for the takeout and the restaurant meal was because my sister was in town, but did I really gain this much? My period should be soon, but I don't feel like this is water weight, I feel like it's all fat or something. Am I being irrational or does this make sense? How do I stop the binges? Help please :(

[Goal] Finally did a proper workout
/u/batloaf [5'1.5"| CW 104.2lbs | BMI 20.2 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 12:30:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ghh1/finally_did_a_proper_workout/
---
It's been months. I mean, like, half a year. And today I finally got off my ass and went to the free gym in my apartment complex. Why did it take me so friggen long?! My conditioning has gone to shit, I was huffing and puffing the whole way through, and it took ages to get down to my resting heart rate. But you know what? I DID IT. Now all I have to do is stay consistent with this - easier said than done! Hopefully my daily visits to this sub will help me stay motivated to go; seeing all you guys being so good about your exercise and whatnot. Stay awesome, y'all. :)

[Discussion] What is your favorite thinspo-quote?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 18 12:15:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46get0/what_is_your_favorite_thinspoquote/
---
http://imgur.com/y1NZzST

[Rant/Rave] I hate my thighs.
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Feb 18 11:24:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46g5cx/i_hate_my_thighs/
---
I don't get why they are still this fat, god. How?! I wish I could just cut them off.

[Discussion] Defense Mechanism - Reverse Body Dismorphia (I know...)
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 111.8 | 19.57 | -29 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 10:36:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46fwvj/defense_mechanism_reverse_body_dismorphia_i_know/
---
Okay so this may sound very weird and I still find it weird to this day (because it still happens...) But when I was younger, like in 7th grade I used to eat a lot. I just ate without caring about my weight and how fast I was gaining weight. On the other hand, my father and older brother sure did care. They would call me fat, tell me stop eating so much because I was going to ruin my body, and that they sometimes confused me with my mom because my mom has always been overweight (meaning I was getting heavy like her).

Okay, so although these comments hurt, I tried not to pay them much attention because I didn't think I was even that fat... I obviously didn't see the "fat" they saw when I looked in the mirror. I moved schools and I had to walk to school then, so naturally I lost some weight by walking. But then once again I moved schools and by this time my depression had developed and my thoughts were starting to be fucked up.

Once again I gained weight by eating and the comments began again. I still never saw the whole thing like they did, until I went back and saw a couple of pictures of myself and I realized that I was fat! Like I just saw something I didn't like at all. And that's when the binge eating began, and the purging, and just messed up stuff.

To this day I still can't believed I didnt see how much weight I was gaining. It makes me think that maybe this was a defense mechanism, denial. I denied I was fat and my mind didn't see me as fat because mentally I was denying it, for what reason? I don't know.

I know some people have body dysmorphia, and instead see themselves bigger than they are. But sometimes and back then I used to see myself thinner than I actually was and I don't understand. Only photos used to tell me the truth of how fat I really am.

Nowadays however is not about how I look but how I feel. I don't like what I see of course, but what I feel is even worse because it's gross and it's just there. I don't even know what I'm saying all I know that my heads messed up.

I just wanted to know if this has happened with anyone else? It's weird and I still wonder about it to this day.

[Discussion] /r/bulimia support sub reboot (note: "not a pro-eating disorder subreddit") - link will be added to the sidebar
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 10:15:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46fszs/rbulimia_support_sub_reboot_note_not_a_proeating/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/bulimia

[Thinspo] How does she get there?
/u/sunkindonut149
Created: Thu Feb 18 09:42:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46fmsd/how_does_she_get_there/
---
My dream body. I would die to be this thin. Just lowered my UGW to 40.

http://lolcow.farm/pt/src/1426954681507.jpg

[Rant/Rave] Welp
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 18 09:28:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46fk0n/welp/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What Tumblrs do you follow? (Bonus if it's geared towards men)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 18 09:27:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46fjnv/what_tumblrs_do_you_follow_bonus_if_its_geared/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] Getting weighed at recovery centre tomorrow and Ive gained 2kg since last week, I feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 18 09:04:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ffhn/getting_weighed_at_recovery_centre_tomorrow_and/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 18 09:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ff5a/daily_food_diary_february_18_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Tip] Focus on the overall, not day-to-day (i forgot that)
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 08:54:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46fdmd/focus_on_the_overall_not_daytoday_i_forgot_that/
---
*Hahaha! I was freaking out about not loosing. Then, as I was typing the below, I realized how much I had actually lost, and I'm totally ok with that! Still not where I want to be right now, but progress is being made. So, just a note, a tip I guess, if you feel crap about loosing, try comparing your weight from ten days ago to now. I was getting so caught up in the day-to-day numbers (even though I have told others not to do that, it's so easy to do!) I completely lost sight of my progress! So below, see what I was freaking out about, and my mathematical conclusion which made me feel like 90% better*

So I haven't been doing perfect, not by a long shot, but I'm still under maintenance. So why am I not loosing?

Cals for the past ten days: 900, 1220, 886, 875, 896, 1265, 1161, 775, 908, 1070.

Weight on first day: 174.4 lbs

Weight now : 169.6 lbs

Weight lost in ten days: 4.8 lbs

**This is the point where I went 'wait a fucking minute' and wrote the above disclaimer/note/vaguely sane thoughts/whatever**

[Rant/Rave] Fasting for peace
/u/tealuxe1 [5'11 |175.5 | 23.60 | -13.5 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 08:36:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46fadd/fasting_for_peace/
---
Not like, world peace or anything. Just inner peace. I've had the shittiest few days and I'm just mad at everyone. One of my flatmates is being the world's biggest bitch and it just makes me SO MAD. And my boyfriend has been really busy lately and I just want fucking attention and I want to get it elsewhere but I can't. I just want to pick fights with everyone and possibly run away for a little while. I cried for almost two hours last night. I don't know how to handle myself at this point.

So I'm going to fast. As long as I can. And I really, really hope it makes me feel a tiny bit better. I've been eating really crap lately (still under 1200 but just of pure shite) and I just want to re-set. I'm so ready for this all to be over.

Thanks for letting me rant!

[Help] HELP PLEASE OHMYGOD
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 18 08:34:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46fa5a/help_please_ohmygod/
---
[removed]

[Help] How to fool people at hospitals?
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 07:46:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46f1s5/how_to_fool_people_at_hospitals/
---
Hey everyone, I really need help. How can i make people from the hospital think i'm eating? I don't know if i'm explaining well but any tips? or ideas? Thank you very much in advance.

[Goal] I need to stop Chewing and Spitting.
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:102/GW:90 | BMI:20.98 | Weight Lost:8 | Gender:F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 07:13:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ewga/i_need_to_stop_chewing_and_spitting/
---
I'm writing this down so I can be held accountable. I hate eating all this food, and my mom is suspicious that I don't eat enough. If I stop c/s-ing then I can stop bingeing and avoid the fridge entirely....

[Help] Bronkaid, how do I buy it?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 186 | 30.97 | -64 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 07:09:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46evtb/bronkaid_how_do_i_buy_it/
---
I just walk into Walgreens and ask for some?

I have really bad social anxiety and I'm afraid they'll know why I want it (I have legit asthma and want it for that too) or they'll like think I'm stupid for asking because ...I don't even know. My fears are stupid and irrational but I keep chickening out of buying it.

Edit: I called, nobody seems to have it but after some googleing it should be obtainable here. Will call again next week.

[Intro] Intro!
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 05:49:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ekyc/intro/
---
Haha, so this definitely isn't my first post, but I figured I should probably get around to doing an intro.

As a teenager, my food intake was always controlled by others, so it was never a topic for me. I do/did get obsessive about things, and I think that's showing through in my ED now. But when I went to college, I gained 55lbs in the first year. I was miserable and hated my fat, doughy body.

Over the next year, I lost that weight in a way that people would deem healthy. I didn't even really binge/restrict. Then a bit before these most recent holidays, I just went to shit. I put down 4,500 calories on fridays and saturdays regularly, only to feel awful and disgusting (as in eat 14 cookies until I physically am on the ground wanting to throw up), and then restrict the whole week. Since this was all pretty new to me, I didn't really label it as anything.

It got brought up in my therapy sessions (for unrelated stuff) and the therapist was really concerned (again, at this point, I was pretty naive). I felt so out of control. Anyway, I was given worksheets, etc, but it really got me to thinking about it and analyzing this ED as a tool. I don't think I have an unrealistic idea of my body. I'm very proud of where I am, I'm the healthiest Ive ever been in my life and I'm looking fine. But I want to be 125. I will be 125, and this is helping me see results. I can't wait a week for a half of a pound. That fucking sucks.

I love the beauty of my empty stomach in the morning. I like feeling lightheaded when I stand up (maybe not when I'm suuuuuper busy), and I feel so much more in control now that I've essentially been given the green light to call my relationship to food "disordered". Before, it was a touchy subject, with a lot of denial. But now I can embrace it, and just say "fuck it, this is me, I'm doing this".

Thanks for reading!

[Discussion] I lost 2.5lbs in the past week and I couldn't have done it without you guys! <3
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 05:37:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ejdo/i_lost_25lbs_in_the_past_week_and_i_couldnt_have/
---
Basically I was 140 and all around that area for January and the first part of February. Then I recognized my bingeing/restricting for what it was, accepted it and felt instantly so much more powerful. I felt in control of what had previously controlled me. I was more than my bingeing. Anyway, I found this subreddit and it's just daily inspiration for me. I feel the desire to hold myself to higher standards and to be better and better. I absolutely love it and I love the strength that I see daily from you all. It carries me through.

Anyway, I'm super happy, I'm almost to my LW of 136, and I can't wait to push past that by the beginning of next week.

Edit: didn't really know what to flair as, this is more of a "rave" than a rant, and there's no tip or anything XD

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support February 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 18 05:02:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46efi3/weekly_emotional_support_february_18_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.

^Thanks ^to ^/u/InTheGecko ^for ^the ^concept ^of ^this ^weekly ^post!

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant/Rave] I used to be fatter than I thought.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 96,8 | 16,3| -31,2 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 05:01:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46efb2/i_used_to_be_fatter_than_i_thought/
---
I had a therapy meeting this morning, and the nurse told me she had looked from her papers that last fall I weighed 128 lbs. I didn't weigh myself at the time because I thought it could trigger a relapse(I still considered myself to be in recovery then).

This sucks in two ways. First, my treatment team is quite alarmed because I've lost 26 pounds(instead of just a little like she thought at first) and from now on I'm weighed weekly, and have to listen to stuff like "look yourself in the mirror in a neutral way, don't judge or critisize" and " you're underweight, it's impossible for you to have fat on your stomach". I've had these conversations for so many times in the last nine years, I'm bored already.

Other thing is that I didn't feel that fat in the fall. I did feel bigger than I was comfortable with, but not about 130 lbs fat. Now I'm scared that my perception is distorted and I'm actually still fat...

[Rant/Rave] I fucked up. So hard.
/u/LadyGreyish [5'7 | 124lbs | 19.5 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 04:24:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46eb7v/i_fucked_up_so_hard/
---
Rant incoming. Sorry for the long story, but I really need to vent. I was doing ok past week, lost some weight, really b/p'd less then before and just doing good restricting and exercising. Then yesterday it all went bad, I had a huge binge and purged afterwards and vomited a very slight amount of blood. I immediately panicked and stupidly made the decision to send a text to the guy that I told about my disturbed eating a couple of weeks ago.

This guy likes me though. And I'm not sure if I like him the same way, because I can only be so super selfish and think about me, food, weight loss all day long. But this guy knows whats wrong with me, he knows everything and he still likes me. For who I am. I've never had that, no one has ever been there for me like that (except maybe you guys ;) ).

Anyway, I texted him all panicked, and he wanted to know what was going on. Afterwards we kind of had a fight. I said way too much stuff I wanted to keep to myself. Eventually it was really late at night and I was tired as hell (as always). He stopped talking, so I fell asleep. Woke up this morning to a bunch of texts that said he was at my house, he went over to my house in the middle of the night to make sure I was alright, and STUPID as I am I fell asleep. I couldn't even stay awake for the 20 minutes it took him to get here, and he had to go back home. I feel so guilty now. I'm afraid he is angry. I'm afraid he will just stop being my friend or possibly more. I hate myself. Ofc I gained this morning since I didn't throw up everything yesterday. I need to be 55kg at saturday for a competition, and I'm at 56.3 this morning. I'm going to fast untill saturday, just hoping I have enough salt in my body so that I can drop that weight.

tl;dr: I had a fight with one of my closest friends thanks to purging and then couldn't stay awake for him to stop by. I'm so useless.

[Help] Reducing puffy purging face?
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 04:07:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46e9q6/reducing_puffy_purging_face/
---
So yeah, fell off the wagon a bit. Now I have a date on Saturday and my neck is so swollen from purging. I've heard that this is due to bulimia meaning that your throat doesn't clear it's saliva properly or something - has anyone got any idea of how to get these glands to go down? Sometimes I try really hard to "swill" out the saliva and spit it but it doesn't seem to work well. Even though I didn't purge for four days they were still there, but now they are massive. I feel like a huge fat bitch. Yuckk

[Goal] First Goal Weight!!!
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 111.8 | 19.57 | -29 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 03:48:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46e7wo/first_goal_weight/
---
So today I hit my first goal weight of 120 faster than I expected! I was planning on reaching that weight Saturday but instead it happened 2 days earlier!! I can't wait till I reach 115 again hopefully by the next Saturday ^^

[Intro] A reintroduction?
/u/losemore [5'10 | 145 | 20.8 | -44 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 18 01:19:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ds42/a_reintroduction/
---
Hello you wonderful people,

A few months ago I made an account and posted a progress pic in this sub after creeping here for aaaaages and was active on this account for a couple of weeks. Due to personal reasons (i.e I decided I wanted to try "recovery" and it did not work out at all lol) I stopped using this account for a while buuuut now I'm back. *happy dance*

Recovery isn't something that I feel confident in doing at the moment, and after trying to eat around 1200 calories a day "and lose weight the healthy way" for a couple of months and feeling fucking MISERABLE for it, I've realised that restricting makes me happy, seeing the number on the scale decrease rapidly makes me happy, it gives me more pleasure than anything else in my life. Maybe I am weak for giving back into my disordered thoughts, but they never really went away. So fuck it, I'm just going to embrace it.


[Intro] This is ridiculous
/u/Bad_idea_babe [5'7"| 188.2 | 29.37 | -5|F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 20:56:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46cv62/this_is_ridiculous/
---
I haven't ever been officially diagnosed with anything eating disordered (have anxiety and depression diagnosed though), but I'm seeing a therapist for the first time in awhile and I'm thinking she will. I've bounced between restricting and binging or both since I was 17 except for a few years when I was a hot mess emotionally, oddly enough.

I feel like I'm too old for this. I've binged twice this week, I'm sitting here almost in tears b/c I ate more freaking Girl Scout cookies and I'm just so so tired of so many of my thoughts being about food. I just want to not think about food all damn day I'm considering bringing up Vyanasse (sp?) at my next appointment.

I don't want my kids to notice this or have my issues with food. I want my girls to play sports and dance and eat and have it all be normal. I don't want them to obsessively track everything they eat or eat an entire box of cookies and cry because they're so disgusting.

I'm not sure what the point of this was. I think I just neded to word vomit.

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel unbearably full very easily?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Wed Feb 17 19:51:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46cl72/does_anyone_else_feel_unbearably_full_very_easily/
---
Ive been enjoying my relapse for a few weeks now and I've found that I can no longer take normal amounts of food without throwing up in my mouth and feeling super swelled up.

Does this happen to others? Is there a way around it? (besides purging?)

Even when I stay within my calorie limit I feel huge and sick after eating.

[Goal] The results are in!
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Wed Feb 17 18:04:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46c56i/the_results_are_in/
---
Just barely into the 23rd hour of my 24 hour fast and I can not believe that I fucking did it. I love that this yogi fasting tea just curbs my cravings and that weird mouth sensation when I want to eat. Don't get me wrong I still feel hungry but it's that soft gentle hunger you can forget about when busy. I highly recommend this tea!

[Rant/Rave] husband comes home and I gain weight immediately
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 17:10:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46bwpi/husband_comes_home_and_i_gain_weight_immediately/
---
this is a rant so sorry if I can't figure out how to tag it on mobile.

I was doing really well and had hit my lowest adult weight ever! Yay! Then my husband comes home from being gone for work for two weeks! Yay!

No. Not yay. Because ever since he's been back I've gained and gained and lost a ton of progress. I log everything in MFP and I have yet to go over 1200 AND YET I've gone from 116.4 to 122.0.

What. The fuck.

I still go to yoga, I do just as much exercise and THOUGHT I was logging things alright so what the fuck.

Either I'm fucking up my logging (I'm not) or I'm retaining a fuckton of water weight or something.

I was starting to feel thin for the first time in literal years and it's all gone. All the progress is gone in a fucking week. I'm so upset.

He comes home and we have to go out every fucking night and he wants to make snacks together let's get sushi and OH it's taco Tuesday

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND GIVE ME MY PROGRESS BACK.

I feel like shit today. He ordered pizza and I helped my fucking self and (in theory) haven't gone over 1200 yet but I may as well at this point as it doesn't make a God damn difference anyways.

I'll work it off tomorrow, I've got yoga in the evening and I'll run in the morning.

I was doing so good today too. By the time 6pm rolled around I had kept my intake under 300 calories. Then apparently I needed 800 cal of pizza.

I'm just mad and my stomach hurts.

[Help] Did anyone here manage to recover from BED? Please help.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Wed Feb 17 16:49:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46bt9j/did_anyone_here_manage_to_recover_from_bed_please/
---
I was heavily restricting for some months, then binged/purged a few times, and now it's just bingeing.... Constant, bingeing....

It feels like it'll last forever. Weeks fly by and the next thing I know it's been a month since I've been telling myself 'This one last binge. Tomorrow it's so over'.

Went from 121 to 133... I'm scared shitless. (tmi::) Literally, there's constipation involved in this.

[Help] Massive music library overhaul. Please help by sharing your favorite songs to listen to while working out/running/kicking ass
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 16:39:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46brje/massive_music_library_overhaul_please_help_by/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46brje/massive_music_library_overhaul_please_help_by/

[Discussion] Low calorie, filling snack ideas?
/u/problematicbeing [5'3" | 97.8 lbs| 17.8 | -11 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 16:38:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46brex/low_calorie_filling_snack_ideas/
---
I'm looking for more thing to keep me full when I cannot control my urge to put something in my mouth.


Currently, my go to is 100 grams broccoli with salt(35 calories) or plain egg white omelette(25 calories + cooking spray).

What are your go to's?

[Help] I desperately need to get back into exercising regularly and Step 1 is updating my music library. Please help by sharing your favorite songs to listen to while working out/running/kicking ass
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 17 16:37:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46br57/i_desperately_need_to_get_back_into_exercising/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] I gained a lot, and don't think I have the energy to loose it all over again.
/u/buttermypecans [4'11 | 97lbs | 20.8 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 16:35:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46bqrh/i_gained_a_lot_and_dont_think_i_have_the_energy/
---
I guess this is also an introduction, since I'm a lurker.

I was in a mental health inpatient unit for 5 days (and the hospital for two beforehand, so 7 days total away from home) and had no control over my diet for the entire time. I was not there for ED related issues, and I didn't want it to come to light, so I managed to eat like a normal human being while I was there. They gave us deserts with lunch AND dinner, as well as seconds if we wanted it.

I gained 6 ish pounds and feel miserable because my record low weight is 10 pounds below where I am right now, and the weight I like to maintain is 93 or lower (im 97 right now). It takes a lot of time for me to loose weight because I have low self control to begin with, and even when I was at 95 I was at around 500cal a day and not loosing- so I'd have to go to the extremes for a while to make it back down.

The worst part is that I have tons of other issues and things to deal with related to mental health and jumping back into my regular schedule and this past week has been hell for me. I'm too tired to have to do this and hide it while balancing the rest of my life but... I guess I have to.

Hope this post isn't out of place or anything.
(Edit for formatting, whoops)

[Discussion] RWBY girls and legs
/u/thornygirl [5'6.5 | 132 | 21 | 20 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 16:00:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46bku4/rwby_girls_and_legs/
---
Anyone else here watching Rooster Teeth's web series, RWBY?

I finished the third volume the other day. I know it sounds crazy, but it's such good thinspo for me - even though it has that exaggerated anime-esque style, it's motivating; all the girls have such slender legs and tiny waists. I know that they have cartoonish proportions, but I can't help it!

Does anyone else have similar "unrealistic" thinspo?

[Discussion] Thank you and goodbye
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 16:00:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46bkr1/thank_you_and_goodbye/
---
I finally got the call to go into inpatient treatment. I have to be at the hospital in an hour and a half. I'm anxious, scared but excited. This is a new chapter in my life, but I hope it all works out.

I just wanted to thank all of you lovely people. You have all be so nice and supportive through this incredibly rough part of my life. I'm so glad that I found you guys, but it's my time to leave.

I really hope that each and every one of you reach your UGWs and find your happiness. You all deserve it. You are all beautiful people, inside and out!

Thank you and goodbye!

Edit: oh god, I'm the fattest one here :(

[Discussion] Me after I hit a new low weight
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed Feb 17 15:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46bad0/me_after_i_hit_a_new_low_weight/
---
http://giphy.com/gifs/ueScR2ILzftzW/html5

[Rant/Rave] Things are finally going right! šŸŽ‰ [Happy Ranting]
/u/shatteredme [5'4 | 111.8 | 19.57 | -29 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 14:56:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46b8v2/things_are_finally_going_right_happy_ranting/
---
So I just got a call from my last job saying they want me to go back and I couldn't be any happier because I loved that job and while I was working there I reached my lowest weight of 115lbs... However, when I lost the job I gained all the weight back, since it was mostly because of the job I lost most of it.

I'm so happy because now I won't have to force myself to exercise since I'll be exercising at work all day (walking all the time) and since I'm going to be restricting more now that I won't be home all day, I'll be able to reach that weight again much faster and I'll hit my goal weight even faster!

I don't know why just hours before today I wanted to end it all, but at least this one good thing happened that will make me keep wanting to live and help with my restricting since I'll be busy and active all day, with less chance of eating!

I don't know I just wanted to let this out and tell all of you to never give up because things aren't going right at the moment, because one simple thing can make you feel better again and more focused/determined to reach your goals!!

[Rant/Rave] Tip: How to limit the amount you eat!
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 14:42:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46b6c6/tip_how_to_limit_the_amount_you_eat/
---
Repeatedly bite the shit out of the same spot on the inside of your cheek and bottom lip. FML.

[Rant/Rave] Relationships and EDs ugh
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 102.8 | 18.71 | -12.2 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 14:25:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46b359/relationships_and_eds_ugh/
---
My BF is pissed. I just picked his up at the airport after a week and almost the first thing out of his mouth after looking me up and down was an angry/sad "Did you eat anything *at all* this week?"

I was working really hard to make some weight progress and I did meet the goal I had set for myself but it's not like it was that much weight - or even like I'm underweight now! he just hasn't seen me for a few days, and I haven't been purging or running so I might be less bloated. But he is really upset - we've had a lot of tension about food the last couple months - and I know we're going to have to have A Talk about it soon, probably tonight.

This relationship is really important to me. Letting something I know is shitty and unhealthy continue to ruin something that is amazing and positive would be colossally stupid. But it makes me so anxious to think about having to deal with any of it. Like, we've been together for years but ED and I are childhood sweethearts, ykwim?

I'm happy that I'm finally making real progress again but I almost wish I weren't so we could go back to food stuff not being an issue, something supposedly in my past. The worst part is that I'm not even thin at all yet, and not like just by ED standards, I'm not even thin for normal people. I thought he wasn't really paying attention and I could make it a lot closer to goal before it became an issue.

Just kind of a venting rant but if you have any advice or just commiseration I'd love to hear it...I was finally feeling good and optimistic about stuff, and having this bubble burst sucks.

[Help] What's better?
/u/Voguesm
Created: Wed Feb 17 14:22:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46b2p8/whats_better/
---
Is it better to eat smaller portions throughout the day, or fast for multiple days in a row but have meals on certain days? Really need help with adjusting

[Help] I've finally snapped
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed Feb 17 14:04:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46az7f/ive_finally_snapped/
---
This is what I've been dreading all along. I'm down 35lbs through restriction and I've suddenly lost all control. I've been binging all week and today I've eaten everything in my path in a way that I haven't done in years. I'm terrified that I won't be able to stop and I'll gain it all back, I'm already up 5lbs. I just want to crawl into a hole and die.

[Sell/Swap] 3 adorable dresses for sale, size small- $12 each plus shipping
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 14:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ayxw/3_adorable_dresses_for_sale_size_small_12_each/
---
I bought three adorable dresses at a thrift store on Monday and, as much as I want to be able to wear them, I must concede to the fact that my bone structure is just not going to allow me to wear these no matter how much weight I lose; my ribcage is just too big around. I believe they'd fit someone size 6 or smaller.



I could take them back to the thrift store but I'd much rather see these dresses on someone from this sub :) I'd like to sell them for the price I paid for them plus shipping so $12 each plus the cost of shipping (I'll need to weigh them and punch in your shipping address to calculate shipping). You can PP the money to me, "friends and family" only :)



**SOLD** ~~[Audrey 3+1](https://www.instagram.com/audrey3plus1/?hl=en) [Owl print dress](http://imgur.com/JkBeswg). Size Small, RN 18185-1, Style #DH6391, Cut #A2972. 100% Polyester.~~




[Peppermint Boutique](http://www.shop-peppermint.com/) [Animal print dress](http://imgur.com/msULXEo). Size Small, RN 130350, Style #D1466, Cut #575. 100% Polyester. Has pockets!




**SOLD** ~~[Peppermint Boutique](http://www.shop-peppermint.com/) [Bows & swallows print dress](http://imgur.com/Uz5ehih). Size Small, RN 130350, Style #D1134, Cut #176. 100% Polyester.~~









[Help] Whenever I eat something I have to eat everything [help]
/u/QuokkasAreCute [5'3" | 132 | 23.30 | -19 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 13:54:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46axce/whenever_i_eat_something_i_have_to_eat_everything/
---
First off, I'm on mobile so forgive me for not flairing.

This is my first time posting here but I really need a place to talk with people who may be understanding my problem: When I eat something, no matter if it's an apple or a high calorie food, I have to eat everything I can find in my house. This resulted in a binge/purge cycle for me. I'm constantly *trying* to fast at least for a day to break this cycle but I'm too weak to withstand food since I just think "I can purge it out later. You can eat whatever you want now". But it got to the point where I can't stop. I binged and purged twice a day for the last two weeks and I gained a massive 6 pounds because of it. I feel so gross and weak and worthless.

Do you have any tips on how I could stop binging? I restricted fairly well for 3 months but I'm not able to find my way back to my controlled eating habits after I realized that I was able to purge. I want to start writing in the daily food diary to pressure myself more. I'm sure that I'm less likely to binge when I have to share my food diary online. Ugh, I seriously don't know what to do anymore :(

[Tip] just sending some positive vibes
/u/bettercaul [5' 2" | 121 | 22.1 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 13:48:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46aw6l/just_sending_some_positive_vibes/
---
Hello. I just made a new account because my friend saw the name of my old one so of course I immediately deleted everything ~ secrets

But today was a good day and I'm writing this to help keep me from binging out tonight. My flatmates are gone for the week and last night I definitely got into that weird haze in front of the refrigerator. Felt like shit today (mentally and phyiscally) but then I realized that the only way I can ever shake this feeling is to start make good decisions. And start feeling like someone who deserves to find happiness and success.

I ate well and light (mostly) all day - been enjoying some homemade pumpkin protein bars but I think I can definitely keep them just as tasty and reduce calories so I'll have to tweak it - and resisted the carby temptations at work. Went to yoga class instead of drinks with friends (always tooooo much beer). I love hanging out with them but I'm always stressing about how many calories I'm drinking and when I get anxious I drink more so... hmmm. Sometimes it's better to sit one out. So yoga really cleared my head from that and felt good on my bod too.

On my long walk home I was worried about getting back and eating a bunch of food tonight just for the sake of my flatmates not being there to "catch" me. Then I realized that is a stupid idea, it literally makes no sense. I lose a bunch of weight and then do stuff like this and feel like I will never make real progress.

But I am here on the couch now, with a spliff and the new episode of Better Call Saul. And I've decided that these things should hold my attention instead of food. I found a 1-off of instant decaf taken from some hotel, I wasn't sure if I'd ever use it because I am addicted to caffeine. But tonight I will drink this coffee (and a little bit of coconut milk) and try to find peace and true relaxation instead of the wreck I felt last night.


Like the title implies, I don't know if this is really a "tip" - I'm just kind of typing a stream of consciousness right now. But I think that I will look back on it and find a bit of hope for a positive (and skinny, DO IT) future. We are all strong people and have the power to become our definition of perfect.

Must start the episode now, bye!

[Tip] Baby tomatoes are life savers.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 17 13:11:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46ap5q/baby_tomatoes_are_life_savers/
---
[deleted]

How to purge effectively ?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 17 12:50:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46aldu/how_to_purge_effectively/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Quick anti-thinspo album I made that helps me throughout the day.
/u/fart_joke [4'11" | 129 lbs | 26.1 | -31 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 12:01:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46abo7/quick_antithinspo_album_i_made_that_helps_me/
---
http://imgur.com/a/I9auT

[Discussion] Has anyone close to you ever told someone else about your ED without your permission?
/u/esiwirartnoC [5'3| 128 | 22.7| -25 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 11:56:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46aaiz/has_anyone_close_to_you_ever_told_someone_else/
---
I'm wondering if this has ever happened to you and how it made you feel/how you dealt with it. If it hasn't.. how would you feel about it?

[Rant/Rave] If I would be a competitive eater
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Feb 17 11:50:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46a900/if_i_would_be_a_competitive_eater/
---
I would beat them all with my binges. I ate 2 bags of candy, a bag of crisps, pasta, pringles and ice cream in less than 30 min.
Yay me, yay not being able to purge. Yay for hitting a new LW and ruining it the same day.

[Discussion] Suggestion for a weekly thread
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 11:04:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46a0bk/suggestion_for_a_weekly_thread/
---
I thought that a weekly (or monthly) thread for health/harm-reduction/beauty tips would be good. What we do really takes a toll on our bodies and if we had a thread where people could ask advice on harm reduction and beauty tips could be really helpful. That way we can help each other stay as healthy and beautiful as possible.

I know I've had problems with some things but I didn't want to start a new thread for it

[Discussion] no more food for the rest of today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 17 11:01:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/469zru/no_more_food_for_the_rest_of_today/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] High-fat diet prompts immune cells to start eating connections between neurons [Title from the article] Like I didn't have enough motivation before *screaming forever*
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 17 10:12:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/469qcz/highfat_diet_prompts_immune_cells_to_start_eating/
---
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-11/mcog-hdp112315.php

[Help] Those with active jobs, how do you successfully restrict?
/u/heywaitformenonotyou
Created: Wed Feb 17 09:46:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/469kxy/those_with_active_jobs_how_do_you_successfully/
---
I have a job that has me working long hours on my feet, with shifts usually around 10-14 hours and my step counts at work usually averaging anywhere from around 15,000 to 20,000 steps, with some days up to 30,000 or more. On slow days and days off I have less problems with keeping my calorie counts low, but on busy days and workout days I definitely struggle staying under 1,200 as I can feel my brain, body and productivity dragging. I realize this might be more of a mental hurdle than a physical one, but if anyone has any tips that would be great!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 17 09:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/469bfx/daily_food_diary_february_17_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Thinspo] It's all about mental strength
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 08:26:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4694x4/its_all_about_mental_strength/
---
http://imgur.com/kZHVg1Y

[Help] How should I deal with a LD SO visiting?
/u/goddamnroommate [5'7" | 138.7 | 21.65 | -53.3 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 08:15:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4692zc/how_should_i_deal_with_a_ld_so_visiting/
---
Basically it's that he knows I have an unhealthy relationship with food. BUT he's from germany and Im here in the US and he wants to try all of these fatty foods to get the whole "american experience". I think it would be fun, and I don't mind a bad week, but I want to control it to an extent (like, eat at maintenance vs 500 cal/day) and i don't want him to get suspicious, and I don't want to give off bad/negative vibes about the food. Basically how should I restrict what im eating without it being extremely obvious, even when I'll be with him 24/7?

[Intro] Intro + Sub Appreciation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 17 07:54:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/468zj9/intro_sub_appreciation/
---
So, I'm not going to lie and say that this is my first post (my first post was an advice request). I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the advice that I got<3.

Basically, I used to be skinny. You used to be able to see my ribs, and I had a thigh gap and everything. Then, I had an injury and was off my feet for almost TWO YEARS. It's been a few years since the injury ended, and I let myself eat whatever I wanted *ugh*. I honestly still hate myself for this. Despite this, I know that because of this sub I'll be able to get to my goal weight.

I love this sub and all of the people in it so much <3

Xx - Wishingforthin

[Goal] Finally under 100 this morning!
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |96|16.6|-20 since 8/2015]
Created: Wed Feb 17 06:34:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/468lb4/finally_under_100_this_morning/
---
http://imgur.com/uk3tyEv

I Made $12 000 in 26 Days without spending a Dime. How? mX_3_7KtTf5__6M
/u/Wf4_y2_N_d
Created: Wed Feb 17 06:19:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/468hcn/i_made_12_000_in_26_days_without_spending_a_dime/
---
http://zhannanekrasova.com/sjklgjweg23g.php#6d_K_9Fjn

[Thinspo] Artistic + NSFW Thinspo
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 04:01:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/467uec/artistic_nsfw_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/8SGpm

[Thinspo] Aristic & NSFW Thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 17 03:50:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/467t1f/aristic_nsfw_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/8SGpm

Sex with big GIRLS? Here 4Ab__m9R7_XpN8y
/u/8x_ReC2__dQ
Created: Wed Feb 17 02:31:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/467ihl/sex_with_big_girls_here_4ab_m9r7_xpn8y/
---
http://icubpro.com/238hg2l3g.php#rH_8W2o_sM

[Help] Implanon
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 01:26:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/467b7b/implanon/
---
So, I'm thinking about getting an Implanon insertion for a number of reasons. I'm so sick of my acne, bloating, cramps, etc. on my period. Luckily a clinic nearby offers it for free for youth.

Have any of you experience implanon, and what are your opinions on it regarding weight gain? Did any of you notice a change? I'm worried about becoming hungrier or a lowered metabolism.

A little bit of a rant, I'm on my period and it fucking sucks. I'm so bloated and I'm about 2 lbs heavier than before I started :( I feel so fat.

Also if you have any other contraceptive recommendations please do say, but my mum won't let me get birth control pills so I'm getting implanon without her knowledge.

[Discussion] Let's get some mid-week positive vibes going here! What's going well for you right now? What's making you smile?
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 122.4lbs | 19.1 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 01:01:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4678sa/lets_get_some_midweek_positive_vibes_going_here/
---
This sub is making me smile! Y'all keep me on tack and always have such bolstering things to say.

And you've kept me so focused too! I lost 6.4 lbs in a month, I only just noticed, and that's making me smile too. I NEVER do that well!

So what is positive in your lives, fellows, friends?

[Goal] Wanted to share my progress
/u/spiegel7 [5'10" | CW: 139 GW: 115 | 19.94 | -25 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 17 00:06:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4672j3/wanted_to_share_my_progress/
---
Sorry for missing putting this on the weekly selfie thread (I can never remember when it is). I got really excited after I was able to zip up my size 2 dress that I haven't been able to wear since my low weight (130 lbs)! I haven't lost as much as some of you and I still don't look good yet but omg after looking at my high weight picture I feel so much better. Right now it doesn't feel like my low weight will look the same when I reach it as it did the first time but I guess we'll see. My UGW is ~115 anyways.

Album of fat, not as fat, and thin-ish self:

http://imgur.com/a/kbb0O

I love that my ribs and collarbones stick out in my low weight pictures. I want that back so badly.

Craving ice cream? Not anymore
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Feb 16 23:50:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4670zu/craving_ice_cream_not_anymore/
---
http://youtu.be/CZOqh3nqyS0

[Rant/Rave] stayed up a little too late, resisting a binge.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 23:37:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/466zl8/stayed_up_a_little_too_late_resisting_a_binge/
---
http://imgur.com/Jz6Dsc4

[Tip] So I just found out...
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Tue Feb 16 23:01:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/466vjw/so_i_just_found_out/
---
Well. I had binged on chocolates, cupcakes, crackers, cookies...and garlic bread. An when I started purging the flavour of the garlic mixed with all of the others tasted so bad that I started throwing up involuntarily! I got completely empty just from the awful taste of garlic mixed with desserts. It was wonderful (albeit disgusting)

So I guess that's double sided tip. If you want it taste so bad you can't stop purging, then eat things that will make a *terrible* combination. And if you don't want that...then eat things from the same category.

I went from a ballooned 6-months-pregnant looking tummy to a nice almost-flat one just from that binge-and-purge session(: (my shape is most important to me, so that means a lot)

[Goal] What are your March 17th goals?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |96|16.6|-20 since 8/2015]
Created: Tue Feb 16 21:20:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/466ihv/what_are_your_march_17th_goals/
---
I really liked the Feb. 14th goal thread, even though I'm not in a relationship or anything. It helps motivate to to have a target. So I figure we can have another date to set a goal... How about March 17th?


My goal is to be 93. It feels like an aggressive goal, but it should be doable. I'll hopefully be at least 95.

[Thinspo] Some male thinspo... He's got a beautiful body.
/u/dnicky [5'7 | 129 | 20.13 | ftm]
Created: Tue Feb 16 20:53:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/466ekt/some_male_thinspo_hes_got_a_beautiful_body/
---
http://imgur.com/AIhQqVD

[Rant/Rave] My girlfriend just told me she was proud of how well I've been doing.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 97.0 | 17.66 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 20:06:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/466786/my_girlfriend_just_told_me_she_was_proud_of_how/
---
I want to die. I feel like I just got punched in the face. She still thinks I'm in recovery...dealing with negative thoughts in a healthy way, eating plenty. I'm not lying to her. I just am not telling her anything. But...God that hurt. She hasn't even noticed any difference. I'm not saying I want her to catch me or anything. I just thought, after someone knew you well enough for long enough, they'd notice you cut your food intake in half, started losing two pounds a week, and ate all your meals at an eight of the pace that you used to.

I don't know what this post is for. Just a late night rant I guess. Any one else ever feel like this...? Like you thought someone would care more but didn't?

Thanks for reading, by the way.

[Rant/Rave] My plan to stop binging and purging
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 19:55:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4665cj/my_plan_to_stop_binging_and_purging/
---
I've been binging and purging way too much lately, I have gained lbs in 2 months and I feel absolutely disgusting. Seeing that number made me want to throw up. So I've made a plan to stop. I'm posting this here for accountability. I feel like I've made so many of these posts though, but here we go again.

I b/p'ed multiple times today. I had a big dinner which I didn't purge, I feel pretty guilty about that, but I need to stop purging.

I will eat around 800 calories for the next few days. Then on saturday I'm having lunch with my mom for her birthday, I will order a BLT. Then starting on sunday I will restrict to 600 calories for a few days. After that I will return to my usual 400 calories a day.

I also plan to read a chapter of my book or work on my jigsaw puzzle every time I have an urge to binge.

I really hope this works because I don't think I can handle to go down this road again. B/p really takes a toll on my mental and physical health.

[Rant/Rave] Stuck b/ping after feeling "ok" about my weight for the first time...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 19:27:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4660xj/stuck_bping_after_feeling_ok_about_my_weight_for/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] I woke up feeling super full this morning..
/u/fart_joke [4'11" | 129 lbs | 26.1 | -31 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 19:24:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4660gb/i_woke_up_feeling_super_full_this_morning/
---
And I think it's because I was watching so much Supersize Vs Superskinny before I went to sleep that I literally dreamt of morbidly obese people eating and eating away all night. Thanks to that dream, I managed to keep to water, black coffee, 4 almonds, a vitamin supplement, and a cup of berries the whole day and it feels so damn good.

Has anyone else ever felt this? Feeling full and/or nausea from just watching people eat? I *love* watching people around me eat in real life and figuring out how many calories they're chowing down in one sitting. Sometimes I get so grossed out that I'm able to skip my meal.




[Goal] My Goal for March 4th
/u/risingaurora
Created: Tue Feb 16 19:06:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/465xlg/my_goal_for_march_4th/
---
I feel like typing it out and affirming this in a public space makes me more likely to commit to this, but here I go. My goals to reach by March 4th.

By March 4th:

-I will be 139 lbs

-I am NOT going to eat above 500 calories

-I am burning at least 200 calories a day

-I am going to only eat on alternate days

-I am drinking 3 cups of tea a day

-I am drinking 16 cups of water a day

-I am logging every single thing I eat or drink.


[Rant/Rave] Accidental weight gain is driving me insane
/u/risingaurora
Created: Tue Feb 16 18:56:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/465vy2/accidental_weight_gain_is_driving_me_insane/
---
Hey everyone, I'm really freaking out. I was at 148 and then I somehow backpedaled all the way to 154 lbs. I've never slipped that far back. I usually restrict to under 500 but this weekend I ate around 12-1300 because of my parents. How do I fix it? Should I go back to heavy restriction or do I do a complete fast? I feel sick every time I see myself in the mirror looking at all of that fat. I need it to go away. I just want this off NOW I can't take it.

[Discussion] Thank god for roommates who don't count calories...
/u/Accedent
Created: Tue Feb 16 18:08:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/465oma/thank_god_for_roommates_who_dont_count_calories/
---
I have a thin roommate (like, 5'9", effortlessly stays at 105lbs, is trying (and failing) to *gain* weight...) who has zero care or concept for calories. She is the kind, however, that would flip if she found out how little I eat. Today she happened to walk in while I was getting ready to cook my 100cal dinner. I had a frying pan on and had put a small spoonful of corn on the pan and was getting my other ingredients. She said "... woah, that's all the corn you're eating?" and I turned around and dumped the full can of green beans into the pan, effectively filling it up (with only 50cal of food haha) and joked, "is that enough vegetables for you NOW?" and she laughed and didn't think twice.

Proceeded to add 2 tbsp egg white (15 cal) and some spinach and mixed it to look fancy and we sat down to dinner together. I get to watch her eat french fries (ugghh) and she gets to be none the wiser.

Sneaky sneaky.

[Discussion] Trying out a different kind of tea
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Tue Feb 16 17:40:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/465ke6/trying_out_a_different_kind_of_tea/
---
So I was at CVS getting some bronkaid and my inhaler refill and as I was waiting I was passing through the tea section and saw that yogi has a tea for fasting/dieting. I got a couple boxes and I'm going to give it a shot starting at 6pm tonight. Has anyone else tried it? Thoughts, feelings, suggestions?

[Rant/Rave] Any other relapsed recovered people here?
/u/LadySkywalker
Created: Tue Feb 16 17:04:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/465f4d/any_other_relapsed_recovered_people_here/
---
This is another 'am I alone' posts I guess. I used to be sick. For years I actively sought death. I wanted to die. Starving was pleasurable. I weighed myself 6 times a day every single day at the same time. I took 15 laxatives at a time once a week. I regularly fell down because I couldn't stand up. And then, I went to hospital for depression and through some miracle and hard work on my part and my part alone, I didn't want to die anymore.

Slowly, food was less scary. There's still scary food yes, but the need to cry hysterically when faced with a slice of cake wasn't there. I could eat and one day I even passed for normal. I stayed thin and in my comfortable range but it was a healthy range. And once, for a whole year, 2 years ago, I actually sort of liked my body. I wore shorts for the first time since I was 7. I liked going out in my tight fitting dresses. Running was fun and not a punishment. And I was almost okay. Rarely did I cry. I didn't really like staring at myself naked and sometimes I did body checks but mostly I was okay.

But now I'm not okay. I hate myself. I hate what I've become. I hate this heavy body I am trapped in. But all I have is my disordered thinking. I'm a sham and a fake. A complete shadow of what I used to be. It never crossed my mind that fasting was an awful thing and now when I want to fast my brain says eat an orange. It used to be 800 cals max with a 500 goal and now it's 800 cals max but if I hit 1100 well that's okay because it's still less than 1200. When I used to count my licking the salt off of 5 saltines as 70cals (because that's what 5 saltines are) now I crumble 4 up in my soup and dip another 3 while I wait for it to cool. I can't. I can't deal with it. I hate myself. I can't let my boyfriend touch me. None of my clothes fit. None. And now we live in this stupid hot place instead of all the cold weather I'm used to and people are already wearing shorts and I can't I just can't. And I cry all the time but I can't get back to the proper sick that I need so I can just be perfect again. I can't and I hate it. And so many of you here just seem so ill and so wonderful and I envy you.

[Discussion] You're all amazing. Thank you.
/u/k8ielol
Created: Tue Feb 16 16:52:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/465d43/youre_all_amazing_thank_you/
---
I wouldn't consider myself on the same playing field as some of you. I restrict but only to ~1,000 kcal/day, and I chew and spit Oreos all the time but when I have a bad day or persistent craving I let loose a little. First off, y'all seem to have an amazing sense of self control and I wish I was remotely capable of what some of you can do. Secondly, this subreddit is by far the most uplifting, supportive, and active subreddit I follow and I obsessively lurk here looking for inspiration and to remind myself that there is always support when you need it, no matter what. The sense of community is overwhelming. I'm just posting here to say thank you and remind y'all that this sub is awesome!

[Tip] Had some time to kill at work, so I've been tinkering with some food / ED related printables to keep in my journal...
/u/130ismygoal [5'7" | 153 | 23.9 | -29 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 16:31:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/465a4f/had_some_time_to_kill_at_work_so_ive_been/
---
http://imgur.com/b2cX3oN

[Rant/Rave] Just binged on chips. As usual šŸ˜ž
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 15:50:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4653ic/just_binged_on_chips_as_usual/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Euphoria From Being Emaciated?
/u/SenioritaKiwi [5'10 | 170lb | 23.78 | -60lbs | TransF]
Created: Tue Feb 16 15:42:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46521f/euphoria_from_being_emaciated/
---
Hi everyone! My name is Keely and I'm a transgender woman who has recently lost a lot of weight, then plateaued. I've been stuck between 165&170lbs at 5'10 for about 4 months now.

Last week, **I worked out A TON.** Everyday, right on schedule. I had a good calorie restriction all week too! I immediately dropped down to 160lbs by the end of the week.

Then, I was relaxing in the shower, looking down at my body. I usually hate my body. I usually think it's too big whether from testosterone based muscle mass or excess fat from eating, I usually hate the damn thing. But that day I felt different. I looked at my emaciated shoulders, my almost-flat tummy, and my slimming calves. **I was in heaven.** I loved the way I looked If I could freeze my build in time there, I would be happy. For once in my life, **I felt like I was in the right body.**

Then I got out of the shower and ate. And ate. And ate.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO!? I HAVEN'T STOPPED SENSE THEN AND I'M SO CONFUSED! I had that moment of euphoria, I know how to get there and I fucking lost it! Why? Does anyone else ever do this? Please Help. :(

[Discussion] GroupMe/Kik
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 15:16:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/464xkj/groupmekik/
---
[removed]

[Goal] Anyone here also over 30+ with goal BMI under 15 and modeling aspirations?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 15:06:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/464vuj/anyone_here_also_over_30_with_goal_bmi_under_15/
---
[deleted]

[Rant/Rave] ...And people laughed.
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Tue Feb 16 14:55:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/464txj/and_people_laughed/
---
I am so humiliated! These weren't friends or family, they were strangers. I was standing outside my apartment on my day off, enjoying a smoke after working a 57 hour week. I was soaking up the sun rays in my yoga pants and sweater when I heard giggling from across the street. A pair of skinny women wearing beautiful dresses, high heels, and dawning perfect hair were pointing, smirking, and giggling at me. I could almost hear them. "Oh check out those fat thighs!" "She's obviously a fatty. Why else wear those yoga pants?" I was so embarrassed that I put out my cigarette, and went back into my apartment. Why would they laugh at me? I hate that this happened! It's so beautiful outside, and I don't want to be seen.

[Rant/Rave] I found this scale...
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Tue Feb 16 14:39:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/464r3s/i_found_this_scale/
---
I found the scale. My family hid it from me after I got out of my hospitalization and I couldn't find it for 10 months...

And I've gained weight!! I was 96 pounds 2 months ago (I was weighed at a doctors, as I went in for an ailment)

I weigh 97 pounds! :(

That puts my BMI at 19.1 *sobs*

I hate myself.

[Goal] I found the scale!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 14:22:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/464o4v/i_found_the_scale/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] my usual university day, water & black coffee
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 13:24:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/464e1v/my_usual_university_day_water_black_coffee/
---
http://imgur.com/elmvEeS

[Rant/Rave] I just want to be thin, now!!
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 12:39:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/464667/i_just_want_to_be_thin_now/
---
I'm feeling really fed up. I've been at this same weight for three weeks because of binging and purging. Currently on day 3 of being v strict with myself and actually pulling it off - used to do 800-900 calories per day, but now I'm on 600 max - and feel really good, taking a lot of caffeine in so feeling ok. BUT I JUST WANT TO BE THIN ALREADY GODDAMNIT. One picture on this page, of the girl in the tanktop pulling duckface, looking to the left - I just want that to be me. I can feel all my nasty fat pooling around my bum and thighs and I just want it off already!

I keep bodychecking and bodychecking and idk I'm getting really frustrated. I want to take laxatives because it's been three days since I had a BM but I'm trying to ride that out until Thursday so that I'm clear and free (and no longer shitting everywhere) by Saturday when I have a date. BUT I FEEL SO IMPATIENT!

also, I'm trying to write a huge piece of work and cannot for the life of me focus for more than 4 hours per day. Any ideas? I can't get bronkaid where I am based (UK)

[Thinspo] Who else loves Cassie?
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 11:38:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/463v6d/who_else_loves_cassie/
---
http://imgur.com/kKww2H6

[Help] So close to a binge....please help
/u/_in_control_ [Height 5'4| CW 108 | BMI 18.54| GW: 105 Gender F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 10:06:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/463ejv/so_close_to_a_bingeplease_help/
---
This morning I had an important skype interview. So I got up early and broke my fast (I didn't eat yesterday to make up for Valentine's day binging) with pb2 and oats...I was so nervous and the interviewer stood me up. So I got all dressed up and had all my notes ready and even fixed the lighting for the skype video for nothing.

After waiting half an hour after our scheduled time and then giving up I am at an extreme low point. I have so much to do today and am filled with self-loathing and apathy. I am very close to saying fuck it, skipping all my responsibilities, getting high (which I also didn't do yesterday so I'd have a clear head for today, what a waste) and binging hard.

How do I pull out of this?! I have 800 cals planned out for today but I know if I start I won't stop. What's wrong with me.

[Rant/Rave] FUCKING GOD DAMN IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 10:06:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/463eiv/fucking_god_damn_it_what_is_wrong_with_me/
---
I complain and complain and com*plain* about how much I hate my body yet I do stupid shit to make the problem worse. What the fuck is wrong with me? It's so simple: EAT LESS. EXERCISE MORE. All I'm asking of myself are *two requests*. EAT LESS. EXERCISE MORE. Not "waste your birthday money on sweet Starbucks drinks and croissants." Not "eat oreos and the cupcakes you were supposed to give to your co-worker tomorrow." Not "eat a quesadilla for dinner 3 nights in a row." Why is it so hard for me to control myself? It shouldn't be this hard. It doesn't *have* to be this hard. Get your shit together.

[Intro] [Intro] Another introduction, hello everyone!
/u/jippityjuniper [5'7" | 154 | 24.04 | -14 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 10:06:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/463ed1/intro_another_introduction_hello_everyone/
---
Hey everyone, I've been lurking here for awhile but lately I've been wanting to make actual posts so I figured an intro for a first one would be best :)

I've been dealing with my eating disorder since I was 11, and I'm now 21. It's been a long time...and while I can never really call myself a "happy" person, I feel more myself, and I suppose somewhat happier, when I embrace my ED habits. I've often though of recovery but as for right now in my life I am in no way ready for it.

Anyway, my highest weight was 168 in my junior year of highschool, and my lowest was 142 in my freshman year of college. Right now I'm 157, which is not a happy number for me (quite disgusting really). I'm going to Jamaica in June, and I'd really really like to at least be quite close to my goal weight by then, which for now is 115. Realistically that's a lot of weight to lose by then if I consider my binges and whatnot, but I've been restricting like mad lately and feel as though it may be possible.

Okay, I feel like this is getting a bit long so I'll end it there, just wanted to give a hello to all of you beautiful people and explain myself a bit!

[Rant/Rave] Last night, I dreamt...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 10:03:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/463dyd/last_night_i_dreamt/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] I'm so close and sososo far
/u/butcustardcreams [5'9" | 67.8 kgs | 22.1 | -5.2 kgs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 09:56:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/463cji/im_so_close_and_sososo_far/
---
I've been doing a lot of water fasts lately, all like 60 hours each but the temptation to binge is so so strong :'(

I've lost 3kg over the last two weeks, which is super rare for me this time of year as normally starting from February is the start of the spiral into fatness but I feel like I'm gonna screw it up

I need to lose just 2 kilos and then I'll be 68kg (which is like 149.9 lbs - haven't been under that since the 10th grade - but I did grow like 3 inches) which will still make me look gross but I feel like psychologically once I'm under 150 I won't binge myself back over if that makes sense. I just seem to love arbitrary lines like that lol.

Even then I'll still be fat though - one of my flatmates is 6'0 and he's only 65 kilos (that's my next goal after 68 in case you haven't already guessed)! I live with only guys and when I was 73 kgs I was literally the heaviest person in the house - and the shortest :(

So on the one hand I'm super motivated because I'm so fucking close to a more normal weight - and as shallow as it sounds I notice the difference in the way guys look at me, but I sososo want to fall back into my binging habits. I had pretty severe clinical depression last year (well I still do but its diagnosed at least) and I literally gained more than 15 pounds in a single month.

But the problem is it was so fucking delicious and I miss food - my flatmate keeps bringing in custard creams which is like my drug I swear - and I'm in a big city so the food delivery options are just endless! I can't even go to sleep without dreaming of food.

My saving grace is I literally live down the road from like 4 modelling agencies so everyone who walks down the road is tall and skinny and gorgeous - in person thinspo! But its just so hard to resist buying a ridiculous amount of food and then eating so much at once that I feel like I might die (which sounds so sad). anyone feel the same way or have any advice?

[Rant] Rough start today...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 09:45:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/463ahs/rough_start_today/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 16 09:02:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4632ja/daily_food_diary_february_16_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 16, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


Trying to get started again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 08:55:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4631f3/trying_to_get_started_again/
---
[deleted]

ZPNEWZP
/u/mzpluto1
Created: Tue Feb 16 08:35:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/462y01/zpnewzp/
---
https://www.reddit.com/user/kemandos0

[Discussion] What does your average day look like?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 08:29:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/462wvv/what_does_your_average_day_look_like/
---
[deleted]

Warning! On this website people find sex at night
/u/QkJBX2O
Created: Tue Feb 16 08:07:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/462tbq/warning_on_this_website_people_find_sex_at_night/
---
[removed]

[Help] should i change my UGW?
/u/skinnyb0y [5Ā“9 | 116 | 16,82 | -18lbs | male]
Created: Tue Feb 16 06:27:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/462fbf/should_i_change_my_ugw/
---
so i went to the beach and i didnĀ“t wanted my ED to ruin my vacations so i discovered some tricks to grow taller, and for that i had to eat a shit ton of food so it was my chance, it worked i grew an inch, sadly i gained 5 pounds.

so before vacation i was only 1 freaking pound away from my UGW but the thing is iĀ“m an inch taller now so i thought that maybe i should change my UGW to 112 pounds but i just feel like iĀ“m cheating my self little bit, what would you do?

[Tip] Purging
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 16 05:16:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4626tz/purging/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Lingering sweet taste while fasting.
/u/terrorist_cupid
Created: Tue Feb 16 05:09:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46263b/lingering_sweet_taste_while_fasting/
---
Does anybody get those while fasting?

It's like at the back of my tongue there is something generating this mysterious, sweet taste.

[Tip] HEALTHY DESSERT
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 114.4 lb | 22.34 | -13.5| Female]
Created: Tue Feb 16 04:40:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/46236r/healthy_dessert/
---
http://healthsmartfoods.com/chocolite-sugar-free-chocolates/chocolite-sugar-free-peanut-butter-cup-patties.html

ONLY 35 cal each, taste amazing, v close to real reeses, almost better :)

[Discussion] Keeping busy on days off
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Feb 16 02:05:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/461nrx/keeping_busy_on_days_off/
---
What do you do on days you have no school and not much to do? I always need something on my hands or I'll start thinking about food again. My parents are suspecting something and excercise isn't too much of an option.

[Intro] Subscribed with my other account. First post here...
/u/-lotophagi- [5'6" | 127lbs | 20 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 00:30:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/461evu/subscribed_with_my_other_account_first_post_here/
---
Hi hello.. :/ just wanted to come in and say hello i suppose... also just wanted to say ive been through 15yrs of binging, purging, restricting, over-exercising etc. High was 177, low was 118... somewhere around 130 right now... scared to look.

Just spent 3min bent over purging. Go figure. :(

[Discussion] What is your 'true indicator,' body wise, to yourself that you are making progress?
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 126 | 18.27 | -14 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 16 00:14:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/461d91/what_is_your_true_indicator_body_wise_to_yourself/
---
For me it was always wrists and thigh gaps but I realized after I went to treatment and weight restored that my body just naturally will always have a thigh gap at any size and my wrists are just small generally. It is disappointing to not be able to feel like I have a clear image of my body anymore and goals I once strived for don't really matter anymore.

I have always loved the flat chest look with the rib cage protruding from the front underneath the collar bones, but that is impossible for me because I have naturally HUGE boobs even when underweight.

I want some new body motivations! What are some of yours? What frustrations do you have with body indicators?

Does any of this even make sense?! Am I taking crazy pills?!?

[Rant/Rave] Rant
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 154 | 24.1 | -31 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 22:50:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4613d6/rant/
---
Hey guys! Sorry about this wall of text, but I really just need to go on a bit of a rant. So, today was my 21st birthday, a day that I've been looking forward to for years. I promised myself that I would be at least 145 pounds by today, and I failed. Because I'm nowhere near my goal yet, I told myself I wouldn't go crazy for my birthday. No cake, candy and definitely no high calorie alcoholic drinks. This was going so well until this morning. I was driving to my friends house so we could go out for breakfast. I was driving down a road that I've gone down thousands of times without any problems. Out of nowhere, some Jeep blows a stop sign and T-boned my car. Luckily, I'm completely ok, but my car is absolutely totaled. My brand new car that I literally spent all my savings on, is now destroyed with less than 3,000 miles on it. Between all the screaming from my parents and the stress of the whole situation, I went crazy. I literally ate everything in sight throughout the day and drank far too much. I really really hope I didn't ruin my progress that much, but I'm super disappointed in myself. I can definitely say this is a birthday I won't forget.

[Thinspo] Some Taylor Swift Thinspo from the Grammys
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 126 | 18.27 | -14 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 22:22:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/460zoj/some_taylor_swift_thinspo_from_the_grammys/
---
http://imgur.com/a/oX9xx

[Help] I've Started Purging, I Want to Stop
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 22:10:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/460y5s/ive_started_purging_i_want_to_stop/
---
It's been a while, I haven't been as active as usual lately since I've been really busy. Weekends are spent with my boyfriend and week days are spent at a new job where I just don't have the time / privacy to check the sub like I used to. I miss you all.

Long story short, I haven't lost any weight since the end of December. The fact I've even managed to maintain is pretty much miraculous to me with how I've been eating. I'll have one or two really good days, and then completely throw myself off with a binge in the evenings.

I have this really horrible problem where I binge when I'm alone, and I feel completely helpless about it. For the past two and a bit weeks I've also been purging, which I previously thought impossible due to a practically non-existent gag reflex, and I hate it. I am not a quiet purger, I make really horrible and loud involuntary retching noises and it's generally pretty obvious. It makes me feel better after, but I know it's not sustainable. I've been getting a lot of acid reflux and now eating anything makes me feel ill because I've trained myself to purge, and since I'm a loud purger that's not really great in scenarios where I'm around people or in a public place. I need to stop.

Some of you have done amazingly in your no purge new years resolutions, and I have seen a couple others on here mention they are previous-purgers who've stopped, and I'm begging you for advice on how you got yourself to stop. I need to go back to just restricting and I feel powerless against myself.

Tonight I binged, purged, cried, flossed and brushed my teeth, put on white strips, painted my nails, cut my bangs, did laundry, and then fucking did it again.

[Rant/Rave] Started the SGD this morning, binged before 4pm.
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 208lbs | 38.04 | -10| F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 21:42:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/460u36/started_the_sgd_this_morning_binged_before_4pm/
---
I hate these kinda days. I'm in such a shitty relationship and I just want out but I'm 5,000 miles away from my parents and I don't wanna leave this area because of one asshole. I've been bingeing so much to comfort myself I don't know what to do!

[Rant] hit a goal. binged and purged immediately
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 15 18:56:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4605cf/hit_a_goal_binged_and_purged_immediately/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Can't seem to get out of the binge cycle :(
/u/shreddedcoconuts [5'4" | 112lbs | 19.2| -30| F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 18:50:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4604b8/cant_seem_to_get_out_of_the_binge_cycle/
---
I want to get back to my 110 weight or possibly lower, but with winter and little activity and whatnot, I'm probably around 112-116 or so. I KNOW i am not 110 anymore, I can tell with the size of my hips.

I've been on a deficit for months with a binge here and there but enough to deter progress...until now. For the past month I have been binging on and off the entire week! I think I am maintaining because I am restriciting one day, and having a small binge the next, but I want to lose.

I don't know how to stop. Usually after one binge I can stop and get back onto my diet. But now..I can't stop. I don't know what to do and I feel like a fat cow.

People here told me to try eating maintenance cals everyday, but I am STILL binging. I feel huge and at this rate, it won't be long until I start gaining.

Anyone ever have this issue if not being able to stop at all for months at a time even though they were successful at restricting previously?

[Tip] Low cal Mock Apple Pie!
/u/Wishbones_Ana [5'6 | 169.8 | | 10.2 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 18:48:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4603zf/low_cal_mock_apple_pie/
---
Hey All,


You may or may not have heard of this deliciously sweet little treat, but in case you have not I wanted to share (because its that amazing).


Take one Apple (I prefer Gala - I things sweet), peel, core, and dice into small cubes. Throw it in some microwave safe tupperware.

Add in butter - I use the Olivio spray butter (0 cals!)

Cinnamon (0 Cals..) edit: Depending on brand and amount you may have to account for a few calories here! see comment below :)

and Splenda if you prefer (.....also 0 Cals)


Microwave a minute, stir, microwave about another minute or until apple cubes get a bit soft..


Shake and Enjoy!


Tastes and smells just like apple pie filling. If you use the godsend that is 0 calorie spray butter, the only calories you're adding is the apple. For an averaged size gala apple, thats about 80.

This is a game changer for any of you who crave sweets! If you try it let me know! :)

[Help] A week of HRT (MtF) and I've been eat a lot more than usual??
/u/RejectionLetter [5'10" | 145 lbs | 20.81 | -7 lbs | MtF]
Created: Mon Feb 15 17:27:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45zqxj/a_week_of_hrt_mtf_and_ive_been_eat_a_lot_more/
---
Long story short, I'm transitioning from male to female, and I've been noticing I've been eating a lot these past couple of days. I'm not sure if it's the estrogen, but I had no problems with not eating prior to this whole ordeal. Any thoughts? I'm 16, 5'10" and around 145 lbs

[Rant/Rave] I hate depression
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 16:35:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ziou/i_hate_depression/
---
It always makes me lazy and emotional. I don't want to do anything. I don't exercise anymore and eat a lot. Just because I feel miserable. I really need to get back on track and keep my mind busy. I have 5 pounds to lose before Saturday. Every single day I tell myself I'll get back on track, but I'm feeling down and really can't.

I'm such a failure. I don't want to slip back in depression and let everyone down again. I should be better and actually live a life now. Somehow, it just doesn't work out for me. To make it even worse, I have no ones I can talk to about it. My boyfriend is trying to make things seem less worse, telling me it's because of the weather, my period, anything he can come up with. Most of my friends let me down this year and I don't want to bother the ones I have left with my problems, afraid it'll scare them away.

Ugh, I wish someone could help me feel accountable. I just felt so much better when I was successfully restricting.

[Help] Fasting During Period? + Intro~
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 15 16:12:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45zeyy/fasting_during_period_intro/
---
[deleted]

Girls For Sex! Adult Fans! 6Ts_f_Q2
/u/Kx6_y_F5
Created: Mon Feb 15 15:31:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45z788/girls_for_sex_adult_fans_6ts_f_q2/
---
http://kollektsiya.com/Fa6_o5_ZX_r4

[Thinspo] Snowed in and in need of some thinspo?
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 15:08:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45z1mp/snowed_in_and_in_need_of_some_thinspo/
---
I'm in a melancholy, low mood today. I am restricting because I ate more than the ideal amount/type of foods this past weekend. I wanted nothing more than to go to kickboxing tonight...canceled because of this snow. Then I wanted nothing more than to go to the gym....roads way too dangerous right now. I'm crawling in my skin, I feel like I want to exercise all this fat away and not lose muscle mass that I've managed to put on. UGGGGHHGJDKSBGHDS, ew.

I selected "Like Sunday, Like Rain" on netflix. I didn't realize Leighton Meester (<3333) was the lead in it. She's great thinspo in this movie on a day like today when saying "fuck it" and bingeing is tempting.

Enjoy :):):)

[Tip] Plateau was mostly *šŸ’© poo emoji*
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 12:33:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45y7zk/plateau_was_mostly_poo_emoji/
---
Lol, it gets me every time. I plateau, then I think about it, and, oh yeah, I haven't pooped in like four days! Haha. And for some reason after I realize this, I usually have a movement within a day, so I literally 'drop' a pound or two, the ones that were sticking around, making me plateau, driving me (a little more) crazy. For some reason this event is more likely to take place for me on a rest day from working out, or in the weekend when I'm not working.

So just a reminder, it may not be a real plateau, it may be a plat-poo!

LOL, just trying to lighten up an annoying thing that I'm sure bugs us all from time-to-time.

[Rant] post fast binge rant/ help me not binge
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 116 | 20.3 | -4 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 11:51:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45xzy7/post_fast_binge_rant_help_me_not_binge/
---
Let's start with a mini rant. I was fasting pretty well, I had gone about 4 1/2 days and was planning to go for 10 days. I was craving a protein bar and ended up just giving in and that led to a full blown binge. An entire large cheese pizza, a box of haggen daz icecream on sticks, a box of peanut butter lara bars, an entire bar of white chocolate, and I ended up baking a cake and eating the whole thing.

I decided to start my fast over again today, but now I'm craving Quest bars, Noodles and Company, peanut butter and jelly, cheese puffs, and Chinese food so very, very badly. Please help convince me not to binge again- I can't trust myself.

(not sure if this should be flaired as rant or help)

I never get hungry, but my appetite is gnarly

[Discussion] Weight Fluctuations
/u/sadgothkid
Created: Mon Feb 15 11:22:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45xuoh/weight_fluctuations/
---
So i've been weighing myself a lot recently, and my weight fluctuates like crazy. I've been heavily restricting this week and should be losing weight but I can't tell if I am because sometimes i'll be 115 and then a couple hours later 117 and then the next day 113 and then back to 116 later. Does anyone else have problems like this, how am I supposed to know if i'm actually losing or not?

[Discussion] Frustrated with Myself
/u/gossamerwings_ [5'6" | 155 | 25.05 | -14 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 09:29:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45x9bq/frustrated_with_myself/
---
Kind of just what the title says: I'm angry at myself for letting myself slip. I hate how I look, I hate my body, I cannot think of a thing about myself that I actually like. I need to get back on track.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 15 09:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45x4d4/daily_food_diary_february_15_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 15, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] Met my first goal! c:
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 15 08:50:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45x227/met_my_first_goal_c/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What is the difference between your goal weight and ultimate goal weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 15 08:19:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45wwwp/what_is_the_difference_between_your_goal_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Diet of the day
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 109 | 18.35 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 08:09:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45wvc0/diet_of_the_day/
---
My day shall consist of a vyvanse and several drinks tonight. Yay monday! Hopefully I can go light for my dinner date with the sis.

[Rant] Starting Over
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149.6 | -7 | F | UGW: 95 | oink oink]
Created: Mon Feb 15 07:53:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45wsp9/starting_over/
---
If anyone wants to be buddies, im all in. I'm starting over today after months of bingeing. I need to lose 50 lbs. I know, gross. I went to visit my mom on the weekend and she kept making snide little comments "should you really be eating that?" It was some chips and hummus and I hadn't eaten all day. Also, my dad saved some frozen vegan burritos for me and said I should take them home, but my mom said "honey don't encourage her, you don't need that" and just kept making stupid fucking comments like that. Or made me so angry, but whatever. It's done now. I want to get back in control and restrict heavily and fast some. I could use some motivating friends.

[Rant/Rave] Can't stick to anything I try to do
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 07:42:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45wr39/cant_stick_to_anything_i_try_to_do/
---
I've been back to doing anything and everything I can to lose weight as quickly as possible for a couple of weeks now. It kind of worked, though I didn't lose as quickly as I would've hoped. But it was hurting me so much. I got so deep back into disordered behaviour that I felt like I wouldn't be able to stop anymore. So I told myself I wanted to recover. So I ate. If I could've weighed myself yesterday, I might not have. But I couldn't. So I ate and I kept on eating because I wanted to go back to normal. At the end of the day I was probably at about 1800 calories and I regret it so fucking much now. I can't seem to stick to losing weight because I end up telling myself I need to recover and I can't stick to recovering because I'm still too fucking fat. I just weighed myself and I'm still at my LW of 45.8. The fact that I could've been below that by now if it weren't for yesterday is making me feel sick. I don't know what to do. Recovery doesn't seem worth it but, neither does anything else.

[Rant] Introductions/damage control for valentine's day
/u/_in_control_ [Height 5'4| CW 108 | BMI 18.54| GW: 105 Gender F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 07:32:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45wpil/introductionsdamage_control_for_valentines_day/
---
Hi all! I have already posted here, but frantically deleted it when I realized my s.o. knows my reddit username, so I'm back with a new account.

I have lost about 10 total pounds since I started trying, albeit more like lost 10, lost another 5, gained back the 5, lost the five, and gained it back again. Ugh.

I let go for Valentine's day, but could not let go enough to ignore my fitness pal. So I logged everything despite binging to the point of puking. My boyfriend was a little annoyed that I was still keeping track, yet kept complimenting my body and telling me how perfect it was....If you like my body you need to be ok with the effort that goes into keeping it this small.

Grand total for yesterday's colossal setback: 4,939 calories. Holy god. I am so ashamed of that number, but I'm sharing it with you to stay accountable--this week is devoted to trying to get at least 1000 calorie deficit every day so I can get back to normal.

Thanks for letting me vent, proed community. It feels good to stop lurking. You all have helped me more than you know.

[Rant] Binged my way back to a HW <:)
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Mon Feb 15 06:51:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45wjj1/binged_my_way_back_to_a_hw/
---
YESTERDAY: Ran elliptical 30, treadmill 30, walked up every stair on campus, walked and bused to Wal-Mart (bought a scale) and the mall (walkwalkwalkwalk) Breakfast cabbage, carrots - lunch banana - dinner started with arugula and ended in MFP estimates is 2800 calories. Low key I'm bad at conveying emotions but I hated this period in my life 12 hours ago, during this freaking.... void of CNS correspondence, I reached for leaves of red lettuce because the calories and lack-nutrients I chose were like... hurting my body directly. I did two course quizzes, cleaned, cried, busted out four laxatives, went to bed at 11 - woke up
TODAY FFFUCK DAMN ugh I wanted to say fuck more but it was too aggressive and I just woke up and typed this up. I have destroyed my body. I gained 6 whollle pounds, making weird shit like pancakes. I logged it. I'm logging for the next week. I was high and that did it, which is weird because I love tea, not eating chicken and I've never ever freaked out on the fridge that much - woke up, sorted my pills and accepted the fact that I cant consume anything today. I wish I could have a next door neighbour best girlfriend who I could openly talk specifically about this with like as a characteristic of who I am, but you know. I have to fucking study today. I failed myself a-gain
Edit words

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! February 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 15 05:03:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45w62s/weekly_stats_update_february_15_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for February 15, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] Please help me find some motivation
/u/russianfrank
Created: Mon Feb 15 01:52:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45vm1s/please_help_me_find_some_motivation/
---
I feel like a failure. I was doing so good last year, hit my lowest weight and as soon as I did, I started binging for months. This is not okay. I feel fat, I feel out of control, I've lost it all. I haven't even updated my flair as I'm too embarrassed to admit it to myself how much weight I've put on .
I have a thinspo journal, but I can't bring myself to write anything in it or even open it. I'm too scared that I'll fuck up and look like a failure.
I need to start again, I need to lose this weight. I didn't get to my GW by the set date, so my goal is to get to my UGW by my birthday. Please help me. Give me some motivation, tips, anything. I can't live with myself like this, I hate it.

[Discussion] Anyone considered consuming soylent? anybody here have any experiences with it?
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 122.4lbs | 19.1 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Mon Feb 15 00:01:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45vaph/anyone_considered_consuming_soylent_anybody_here/
---
Personally I'd be more into the powder than the drink, I think. I already have too much soy in my diet... anyway, I *think* the powder gets it's protein from rice, maybe that was an earlier gen. It just seems so easy. Just only consume 500 cals worth rather than 1500 cals worth in a day, or whatever. I just wish I could stop thinking about food altogether, you know? It seems like a natural step in that evolution...

[Tip] Hazelnut Coffee
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Mon Feb 15 00:01:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45vaob/hazelnut_coffee/
---
Hazelnut Coffee- 2-5 calories per cup (depending on size) and is both harsh and sweet and has a very rich flavour and makes you feel so full.

It has to be the kind that is brewed hazelnut though, not the kind flavored with hazelnut creamer (that would be 250 calories)

Green Mountain is my favourite type, it contains 2 calories per pod (for kurig, it comes in a regular bag of beans too though) and it *always* stops my binge urges because it tastes so good, like a nice dessert, and it's so low in calories.

I just thought I'd share that incase it could be helpful to anyone else(:

[Discussion] Any (longer term) successful experience with Adderall or Ritalin, used in any capacity?
/u/yozhik0607 [5'7" | Female]
Created: Sun Feb 14 22:27:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45uzyc/any_longer_term_successful_experience_with/
---
I was curious about whether or not anyone has had an overall positive experience using Adderall (or Ritalin) while losing weight.

From what I've read it seems like a bad idea as *every single* account I've read recounts immediately binge eating and gaining all the weight back very rapidly. Is there *any person* who has **not** immediately regained weight after ceasing the drug? What about taking it every other day, only on fast days, or some other kind of non-daily use?

I want to lose 15lbs in 6 weeks (my spring break) and trying to decide whether to experiment with the pill but the accounts I've read seem like it is literally completely impossible not to immediately gain it back so leaning towards no, but got curious to hear anyone's experience.

[Tip] binge-stopping tactics
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 102.8 | 18.71 | -12.2 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 20:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45unql/bingestopping_tactics/
---
The other day I read the most amazing tip for stopping binges, I think in an old thread at /loseit...can't link, I just clipped the text and saved it and now I can't find the thread. But it's:

>Therapist here. A simple trick that works: as soon as you know you are going to binge, simply start talking out loud and neutrally describe what you are planning on doing. It is crucial you don't mock or disparage yourself in any way. Just neutrally describe your plan, and neutrally describe the implications it will have for you -- like Siri on an iPhone would. e.g. "I am going to open this bag of oreos and eat all of them in the next ten minutes for a total of 2000 calories which will take me all week to burn off if I am lucky and will undo all of the hard work I put in last week." Just keep going with this narration through the entire binge. "I've just eaten three oreos. I've just eaten ten oreos..." etc. Even if it doesn't work the first night you do it, if you commit to this, you will eventually find that you automatically and effortlessly binge less and less simply by hearing your behavior described.

This really struck a chord with me. My binges tend to be completely mechanical, hardly even tasting the food, like a blackout. forcing myself to articulate what I'm doing *and why* is a complete gamechanger, partly because it seems so ridiculous once said out loud ("...I'm going to eat this candy because I'm stressed out about money and feel like a failure...", like what kind of logic is that?) and also because it just forces me to slow down.

Accountability had been a big deal for me the last couple of months and weirdly, owning it in this way makes a binge a real thing that *I'm doing*, not like a thing that happens to me that I have no control over. It's been really helpful for me and I think I'm getting better at it, I hope it's helpful for some of you too!

[Discussion] Giving up alcohol.
/u/Invisibleaf
Created: Sun Feb 14 19:46:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45uew0/giving_up_alcohol/
---
As many of you know, drinking calories reeeeally leads to weight gain.
I'm 22 (5'5" and 130) and for the last several months I have not gone a single day without drinking. I have gained about 20 pounds over the last year and I'm sick of it.

I have tried to cut back on food so I could drink more but I keep gaining. I am quitting drinking all together. It's so hard to work out and stay motivated when I'm drunk/hungover.

I just wanted to see if anyone here was in the same boat as me?

[Help] Low calories causing dry skin and acne breakouts? Any good products I can try to fix this?
/u/jajewel [5'1 | 99.4 lbs | bmi 18.78 | -11 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 19:04:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45u8ys/low_calories_causing_dry_skin_and_acne_breakouts/
---
Hey, I've been getting a lot of dry skin on my arms and face and acne breakouts like never before over the past 2 months since I dialed down my intake to 1100cals/day. I was using cerave and dove sensitive body for a while but I think that's worsening the breakouts.

I just bought some skin hair and nails with biotin + a multivitamin + vitamin D + flax oil (I'm allergic to fish).

I have a walmart nearby and wondering of some store brand moisturizers and face/body wash that I could try that might helpful?


[Goal] Today is my last day of binge eating
/u/zomboooo [5'7| 122 | -30 | NB]
Created: Sun Feb 14 17:57:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45tzv0/today_is_my_last_day_of_binge_eating/
---
Hi I'm new so I don't really know how to do this, but I want to officially say this. In August of 2015 I was 150ish pounds and by December I got to 111 pounds. I moved since then and I got really off track with my food planning and started binge eating a lot because I was stressed and couldn't properly plan meals.

I'm declaring that I will no longer do that and stick to my goals of 500 calories a day. I guess the main reason I'm posting this is to inspire me to keep to my goals. Wish me luck.

[Rant] Messed up on day 2
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 145lbs|22.8|-40lbs|F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 17:38:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45tx81/messed_up_on_day_2/
---
It's Valentine's day. My dad and I work in close proximity to each other. He asked if I wanted to meet up for lunch. I dedicated myself to intermittent fasting yesterday where I eat at 7pm. I said yes, he is single and I don't want my dad to be alone all day. I asked for fried zucchini thinking I could eat a price or two. He got me fried mushrooms too. I ate a full meal.

I have dinner with my husband and family tonight and I already ate 900cals. I messed up on day 2. I don't know how to not eat the dinner my husband is going to cook for me on valentine's day :( we got into a fight this morning and not eating will just make him feel like I'm still mad and spark another fight. I played the "oo I ate so much lunch" card but I'm not sure he will belive it for dinner. I don't want to go over 1200 cal, that's 300 more than normal for the holiday.

I want to drop 6 lbs by the 1st...

[Rant] HIFW I'm with my SO and resisting a binge...
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 16:52:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45tqik/hifw_im_with_my_so_and_resisting_a_binge/
---
http://komonews.com/news/local/aquarium-cancels-octopus-sex-act-due-to-cannibalism-concerns

[Rant] Done recovering
/u/Banshee__Queen [5'2" | 93.95| 17.38 | -1.05 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 16:42:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45tp1k/done_recovering/
---
I don't want to recover anymore, I don't see any point. I'm underweight but I still look fat, I have no one here to tell me it's okay. I don't wanna eat anymore until I die, maybe I'll be happy then. I'm tired of trying & things being back at my face. If I recover or restrict no one cares anywajy so I'll do what I'm better at. Vodka doesn't have too many calories anyway so I can drink this tonight. Happy Valentine's day

Can't flare on mobile

WARNING!! On this site all the people want sex!
/u/mSD2gKtQIQq
Created: Sun Feb 14 16:31:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45tnha/warning_on_this_site_all_the_people_want_sex/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] How do you deal with the effects of fasting?
/u/fart_joke [4'11" | 129 lbs | 26.1 | -31 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 13:19:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45spwv/how_do_you_deal_with_the_effects_of_fasting/
---
Towards the end of a fasting day, I get extremely dizzy, see stars whenever I move too quickly, can't think/constantly forget things, and just generally feel so godawful until the next morning I have something to eat and feel okay again.

Many of you have fasted for multiple days at a time and I'd love to do that, but I have no idea how to get past those effects, especially since I'm taking 5 classes in college, work full time, sleep 3.5-4 hours a night, and usually run 3 miles a day.

[Discussion] Let's share our promises to ourself
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Feb 14 12:51:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45skfq/lets_share_our_promises_to_ourself/
---
Maybe you have a bad day because it's Vday, maybe it's a good day, maybe it's a normal bad day. Let's share our promises and re-read them when we need it.

Mine;
I won't contact the guy I like till next month the 14th. I will be below 58 kilo's by then. I will feel better about myself and he will be surprised by how good I look. I will it in the best way possible, I won't binge and purge, just eat less.

[Tip] Today is all about love
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 118.0 | 20.65 | 107 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 12:25:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45sfw9/today_is_all_about_love/
---
So yes, it's Valentine's day, and I'm seeing a lot of my lovelies having a really hard time. I know this is so hard for you. I know a lot of you are feeling so awful because you've binged or you're thinking about, you're stressed about a big dinner date tonight or you're lonely. I know what I'm about to say is going to seem so impossible to you right now, heck, it's impossible for a lot of us every day and that is why we're here.

All that said: Today is dedicated to love, so I want you all to try to remember a few things- No matter how bad today may be, or even if it's a good day, I love you all *so* very much. You are all **WORTH** loving! Whether I know you or not, if we've interacted or not, you all are *so* important to me. This community **is** my second family. You give me and so many others your support and acceptance everyday just by being here.

**YOU** are important! If you slip, **YOU** will get back up because, no mistake will be made today or any other day that can't be fixed! **YOU** are strong! **YOU** are wonderful! **YOU** are lovely! I believe in **YOU**!

Take a moment or two today, and love yourself. Give yourself that. Even if it's not about your body, we all have something that we can love about ourselves. *HOLD ON TO THAT TODAY*! And even if you can't, EVEN THEN, know that you are **NOT** alone, and that someone **DOES** love you!

Be gentle to yourselves, lovelies. Have the best day you can!

[Rant] Today is Valentines Day
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 109 | 18.35 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 12:03:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45sc27/today_is_valentines_day/
---
I am bingeing. It's already began. I ate a whole skillet with a biscuit from j christophers and one of my daughters poptarts. Jesus. It's only 2 pm and I think my boyfriend wants to take us to dinner (and drinks too of course). I am def gonna be up from my 106.7 for good now. I was at 107 with no water in me. Then I just killed food for the past week and I'm back up to a steady 109-110. Fuck it. I have a great boyfriend I need to be positive today.

[Rant] Comfort Food, Why?
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 11:53:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45sad0/comfort_food_why/
---
Why why why is food the way to comfort myself?

I'm lonely, food. I'm horny, food. I'm bored, food. I'm sad, food. I'm happy, food. Wtf.

I am doing OK today, but I just want to open up a box of crackers, slather them in peanut butter and go to town. Then I would feel less fucking empty. What do normal people do to feel less empty? Why is everything about food?

I'm not hungry, I've eaten breakfast, there's no reason for me to feel actual hunger, but I do feel actual emptiness. I'm horny and lonely and have homework I don't want to do.

Just another miserable rant.

[Rant] I binged today, I ate a shit ton yesterday
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Feb 14 11:34:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45s72g/i_binged_today_i_ate_a_shit_ton_yesterday/
---
Sometimes I feel like giving up, you know. I was two Lb less last week. Why am I such a pig? I want to cry and shoot myself.

[Goal] I hit my lowest weight in 3 years!
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 133 | 21.55 | -17.6 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 11:21:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45s4wu/i_hit_my_lowest_weight_in_3_years/
---
It's not anywhere close to where I want to be, but it is 13 pounds down from a binge-heavy Thanksgiving week. It was so nice to wake up to the number this morning because honestly yesterday was terrible and I got to have my boyfriend's aunt and uncle look at me with so much judgement and ask a lot of invasive questions because I graduated in June and haven't done anything impressive since then, and he doesn't graduate til the end of March and already has a really amazing job offer.

It's just a relief to know that even though I may be fucking up at a lot of things right now, I still know how to do this. And we're going for a hike because I suggested it, so great opportunity to burn some mothafuckin calories.

[Discussion] Those of you who set a goal weight for valentines day, did you make it?
/u/acadavia [5'3"| 90.6 | 16.01 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 10:18:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45rr5b/those_of_you_who_set_a_goal_weight_for_valentines/
---
A few weeks back, there was a lot of discussion about goal weights for today. If you set one, how'd you do?

Personally I was planning to be 95 by today, and I *should* be there by now (based on my intake), but I'm still plateau'd at 96.2. So frustrating! :(

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 14 09:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45rdos/daily_food_diary_february_14_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 14, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant] 10 pounds lost
/u/wannabe_mermaid [Height 162cm | CW63 kg | BMI24.0 | Weight Lost 10 | Genderf]
Created: Sun Feb 14 07:08:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45qryb/10_pounds_lost/
---
I have been lurking on this sub for a while, I used to post my meals and stuff but after a while I started feeling like I am not entitled to be here because of my weight wich is nowhere near the point of showing how fucked my head actually is.

I am making this post because I feel like I am at a really low point in my life, I have no one and I honestly feel like you are the closest people I feel to at the moment . I am sorry if that sounds really creepy.

What I wanted to say in the first place is that today I marked my first 10 pounds lost and I am really happy about that. I have been really agressive to my body, I have felt the need to push my limits all the time and now I managed to eat only a meal a day, usually steamed vegetables wirh olive oil and lemon or a piece of fruit plus coffee for the past 3 weeks.

I have a crazy schedule at work and that leaves me no time to think about the hunger and the dizziness and I smoke like a pack and a half a day. Still, i am happy and I feel healthy because I am not poisoning myself with food and I feel really proud because I am finally getting my body back.

I have been struggling with ed for like 11 years now and I am so sick of it and I am sick of feeling that my ed is the only way of getting in touch with myself like losing weight is the only purpose of my life and if I am not losing weight I am a total failure and I am a stranger and do not even recognise myself anymore.

In the last two years I have been really mean to myself and used food and alcohol to punish my body because there was obviously space for some more self hate.

Finally, I really want to thank you all for being so open and willing to help everyone in need and share your stories and make this place become like a therapy group. Be kind to yourselves!

[Rant] Anyone else get really irked by their families sometimes?
/u/30secondsto130 [5'8" | 161 | 24.2 | -15 | M]
Created: Sun Feb 14 06:38:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45qo46/anyone_else_get_really_irked_by_their_families/
---
I just finished having lunch with the family and I feel pretty angry right now. It's a meal we have every Sunday I am home, so it is unavoidable. It wouldn't be a problem if it weren't so... HUGE. Roast chicken, stuffing, gravy, potatoes, bread, you get the picture. There's just an unnecessary amount of food, you honestly have to see the sheer volume of it, and I hate being forced to eat it. I feel like shit after.

So, instead of that I only ate the vegetables, and a little of the chicken - which hasn't derailed me for the day, thank god. The problem was after. I said I wanted to leave the rest and my mother started to guilt trip me. 'We work hard to put food on this table and you just waste it because you want to lose weight' and 'You always do this when you come home you eat loads of crap (b/p) and then refuse a healthy, well-balanced meal!'.

I find this fucking rich as she is very overweight, as is the rest of my family. She is on a fad diet right now, and inevitably she will fail to see any weight come off, and take it out on me or my eating habits.

It just really makes me mad that I can't refuse food, even unhealthy food, without getting a lecture. Why the hell does she do this?

And another thing, holy cow does she buy some crap into the house, and offer it me constantly. Biscuits, chocolate, sweets, pizza, ice-cream. It's not enough for me to say 'no' once she keeps on and on until I leave the room and she makes a comment about me leaving her alone all day (guilt), or I crack and b/p. And it's not as if she will just ask me if I want food X, she will literally get the packet, open it, bring it to me, hold it in front of my face without saying a word (very strange)until I take it or refuse. Even if she isn't having any herself!! AHHHHHH. She is literally just tempting me for the sake of it!

I'll show her. I'll lose so much she can't help but be pissed off. She'll be jealous that I can actually do something her ass can't. I refuse to be dragged down by her, or the rest of them any longer.

Sigh. Sorry for the rant. Just need to know I'm not alone.

WAnt SEx T0day? Here SUPER girls 2o_Tk_J4
/u/Y_r73zS_R_i2_
Created: Sun Feb 14 04:53:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45q5oa/want_sex_t0day_here_super_girls_2o_tk_j4/
---
http://wownage.com/rY_3Z2d_4_Wq_Ap

[Discussion] New-ish to this sub, I definitely like the look and have the mindset you guys do but one thing that hasn't been answered as a lurker is.. How many calories do you guys actually eat?
/u/mr_300_bag
Created: Sun Feb 14 04:16:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45pz8m/newish_to_this_sub_i_definitely_like_the_look_and/
---
The way I eat and manage calories is through a spread sheet on Google docs and I minus my calories eaten in MyFitnessPal from my calories burned on my Fitbit.


Im not as skinny as you guys... nor do I know your lifestyles but I am curious how many calories you guys actually function off of so I can set my goal (hopefully) lower than what I am allowing myself now.

You want hot sex? Here girls 5s_Y_Aw4P3_m7
/u/5m_HW3s_
Created: Sun Feb 14 03:03:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45poo2/you_want_hot_sex_here_girls_5s_y_aw4p3_m7/
---
http://gmt-clinic.com/iH_35_zFxE_

[Tip] I started a journal
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 14 02:26:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45pitz/i_started_a_journal/
---
A day or two ago, another user asked what people keep in their journals, and that inspired me to make my own.

It's not very aesthetically pleasing at the moment, but I really love the losertown weight projection chart that I printed out! I'm going to keep this book by my bed and look at it every day.

I'm also going to work on making it cuter, lol sorry it's so basic and the quality of the photos is awful but I thought some of you might like the idea!

the first page is just goals/plans, the second page is thinspo, third weight log, and third losertown chart. I'm going to keep adding more, printing stuff I find on this subreddit <3

http://imgur.com/a/P1UFm

SHelp me! Photo of my sister! How do I remove it?S
/u/skulhead142
Created: Sat Feb 13 23:54:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45p3bz/shelp_me_photo_of_my_sister_how_do_i_remove_its/
---
https://www.reddit.com/user/huleeya8

[Discussion] Has anyone else ever experienced something like this in hospital? [rant/discussion]
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Sat Feb 13 23:37:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45p0po/has_anyone_else_ever_experienced_something_like/
---
I was violated during my involuntary stay in an inpatient facility. I was held down and stripped and felt up. Some of the people I've confided in told me it was rape or molestation. But some told me I'm overreacting and it was just an exam.

I have flashbacks and I cry every time I have to change my clothes. I cannot stand to be touched anymore. I cry myself to sleep every night. I very strongly believe that it was an assault. But I'm doubting myself.

I just feel lost.

Has anyone else ever experience something like that? What do you think it was? I just...I'm not sure what to believe. That assault or exam or whatever it was was the most traumatic experience of my life and it's ruined me. I can't feel happiness. I cry all the time. I don't know what it. I feel so unclean and impure.

I feel broken.

[Rant] Having to skip weekends
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Sat Feb 13 23:19:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45oycy/having_to_skip_weekends/
---
So...my family knows all about my eating disorder and think I'm recovered. I was hospitalized last year. It was a mess. So I *really* need to hide it and my mother doesn't work over the weekends so I can't restrict below like 1200 then because she'll notice.

So I'm worried the ABC diet I've decided to start won't be effective. It's frustrating. I want to just restrict everyday but I'd get caught.

I hope I'll still be able to lose weight even if I do 1200 on the weekends. I just want to love myself again. It's not fair.


[Discussion] Does anybody else use hentai as thinspo?
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Sat Feb 13 23:00:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ow5p/does_anybody_else_use_hentai_as_thinspo/
---
Ok, kind of a weird question...but it's just so motivating to me. They're so slender and gorgeous and the sexual nature of it motivates me even more. I have like 3 albums saved in my phone of 60+ pics each that I look through when I'm hungry.

So that's my guilty pleasure I guess. My anime porn thinspo.

[Help] Help, please?
/u/jljohnson92
Created: Sat Feb 13 22:28:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45os41/help_please/
---
I'm so lost right now :/ I've been loosing weight for a while now and my "treatment team" knows, it's not like I've lost a lot of weight, but they're acting all concerned and I just want to hit my GWs. I guess what I'd like help with is how to make them stop worrying, like are there any others here who have mandatory weigh ins and how do you fool the scale? I just don't want to go back into a treatment centre again.

[Help] High calorie burn at-home exercises?
/u/trampledherbage [5'3" | CW: 99 | 18.02 | GW: 93 LW: -16 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 22:25:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45orpo/high_calorie_burn_athome_exercises/
---
I'm dying to diversify my exercise repertoire, and can't afford a gym membership! What are your at-home exercise routines, and (if you happen to know) approximately how many calories do they burn?

[Discussion] The first 48
/u/christmoose [5'6" | 121.2 lbs | 19.56 | -34lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 22:17:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45oqpo/the_first_48/
---
Officially more than 48 hours into a fast -- longest fast ever without have the flu or something. I'm halfway between "I need to eat right now" and "I might never need to eat again." I don't really know where to go from here. I didn't really set out to go this far and I might need some protein for my aching muscles (really hard workout the other day), but I kind of want to push myself. I don't know when or how to break this fast.

Tell me about your fasts. Do you plan them out ahead of time? How long do you usually go? I've only had water, black coffee, and plain tea; what do you usually consume?

If I keep going: I'd love some motivation!

If I stop: what's the best binge-free way to break a fast?

UPDATE: It has been broken. Ate some cauliflower this morning because I was convinced I would faint on my drive to work if I didn't eat SOMETHING. Hour 60.

[Discussion] This is a love-in post
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 110.6 | 16.63 | -34 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 21:40:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45om70/this_is_a_lovein_post/
---
Everyone post something you're proud of here!

What I'm proud of:

* On hour 50 1/2 of my fast
* Walked 20 miles in two days!
* Somehow I still managed to get work done while fasting

[Tip] Staying Within Your Restriction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 13 20:46:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45oekp/staying_within_your_restriction/
---
[deleted]

[Help] First post.. Looking for a bit of help.
/u/Wishbones_Ana [5'6 | 169.8 | | 10.2 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 18:51:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45nyuy/first_post_looking_for_a_bit_of_help/
---
Hi all,

I've been reading through these posts for sometime now, but today was the first day I felt like I needed to make an account and post.

The reason I felt the 'need' is to ask for a small amount of help and support. I've been on a modified ABC diet for only about 5 days so far, and haven't binged yet. I'm at 350 calories for the day and have been wanting to binge all. day. long.
It won't stop.

All I can think about getting pizza or fast food, and I know I can talk myself into eating it if I can't get things under control.

I need to be strong, I appreciate any encouraging words.

-A

[Goal] YAAAS! Over the plateau!
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Sat Feb 13 18:14:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ntm1/yaaas_over_the_plateau/
---
Omg u guise! I'm getting ready to go out tonight and I weighed in before my shower and I'm at 108.4!!! That's a pound down from where I was stuck! Fuuuck yesss! I've been very restrictive this week and it finally paid off! I feel great about my silhouette right now. This never happens before going out. Just gotta stay on that wagon and I'll be at 107 for Wednesday for sure! So close!!! Stay strong & get free lovelies!

Update! - it's Valentine's day night & I'm at 107.8! I have to eat dinner with my guy but I think one night should be no problem. I won't eat again after that. Soooo excited!

[Tip] Keep an eye on baristas...
/u/HereIsMyThrowawayKay
Created: Sat Feb 13 17:33:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45nni2/keep_an_eye_on_baristas/
---
Not that you can't trust them, just be aware of how your drink is made. Mostly for incidents like the other day when the girl who always makes my drink accidentally started pouring 2% (luckily I was paying attention), but also because of shit like this... (found on /r/rage)

http://i.imgur.com/cBmZ2bw.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/0uZg3Mu.png


[Rant] I can't stand sweets as much as I used to.
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 97.0 | 17.66 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 17:30:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45nmxi/i_cant_stand_sweets_as_much_as_i_used_to/
---
I'm celebrating valentines day today with my girlfriend. We went out for breakfast AND lunch (kept it somewhat lowcal but ugh) than had dessert for dinner... Hot chocolate with caramel marshmallows and chocolate chip cookies. I mentally limited myself to one cup hot chocolate and three cookies, and prepared myself for a possible binge of up to six cookies + a cupcake. Sweets have always always been my weakness, and I used to be able to eat a sickening amount.

In reality? I ate two cookies and barely finished half the cup and one marshmallow. And I'm fucking stuffed. I feel disgustingly full and I wish I could get rid of all of it. I feel sick.

Even if I still ate what is probably considered a lot of sweets to most people, and even if I feel fucking gross...at least my limit is a lot lower than it used to be. I'm so glad restricting does that to me long term. At least something good came out of this binge.

[Rant] So annoyed with this period-induced stall! Does anyone else have this problem!?
/u/WeakChopper
Created: Sat Feb 13 17:08:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45njjo/so_annoyed_with_this_periodinduced_stall_does/
---
I eat between 200 and 600 calories every day, usually 300.

I'm on my period right now (ugh!) and have lost only one pound in the last NINE days! I've been the exact same weight for the last six days...

This week (including tomorrow) I am going to have eaten 2,132 calories over the course of seven days. This is less than a lot of normal people eat in a day!

In the rational, uncrazy part of my brain I know it's impossible to eat 300 calories a day and *not* lose and that this is just water weight, but I'm starting to go insane.

I stall every month at this time, but usually only for two or three days. Never nine!

Does anyone else have these kind of stalls around their period?

Someone please say something nice and encouraging to me. Please. Ha. :(



[Tip] Hi all! Been gone a while.. Here's my meal tip of the day - 80kcal, in a variety of flavors. Tasty and a bit smoother than Fage.
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 15:50:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45n72l/hi_all_been_gone_a_while_heres_my_meal_tip_of_the/
---
http://imgur.com/dIUpNe0

[Discussion] Don't you love that moment
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Feb 13 14:11:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45mnrr/dont_you_love_that_moment/
---
In the morning when you just woke up, you lay on your back and feel your hipbones stick out. That moment when you pretend to be skinny. I sometimes even snap a picture just to look at them. God, I live for that moment.
And then I stand up, drink water and it's gone.

[Goal] Omfg
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Sat Feb 13 14:01:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45mls1/omfg/
---
So today I weighed myself and I'm finally out of the 120's!! 118.9! I still have a ways to go but that made me so unbelievably happy. And I tried on a pair of these adorable high waisted shorts I got at target almost a year ago and they fucking fit. I couldn't even get them past my hips 7 months ago. So I celebrated and got myself a cute pair of totoro tights and I fit the small. I'm supposed to go celebrate V-Day with my best friend tonight with dinner and a movie. I'm definitely wearing the tight and shorts ensemble and sticking to a small side salad for dinner.

[Rant] Going to back intermittent fasting.
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 145lbs|22.8|-40lbs|F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 13:36:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45mhgs/going_to_back_intermittent_fasting/
---
I did IF for 3 weeks and lost 10lbs like magic. Then I started slacking for 3 weeks and I'm back up 3lbs. After the last week of feeling cappy I'm going back onto IF. Today is day 1 fully committed, but I keep having self-sabotaging thoughts. It's my lunch break in 30 min and I want to eat, not because I'm hungry: because it's lunch time.
I feel like I'm just too weak to not eat and I might as well because I'm not going to make it anyways. Last night I wasn't hungry but I ate a bag if cheez-itz and spicy fry chips. I wasn't even hungry.

I loved 23/1 IF but this time I feel like it's just too hard to not eat. WTF is wrong with me. **Why do I want myself to fail so badly**??

WŠµŠ°thŠµrwŠ°x seeks Rincewind for magical moments
/u/83jerrica
Created: Sat Feb 13 12:01:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45m10q/wŠµŠ°thŠµrwŠ°x_seeks_rincewind_for_magical_moments/
---
https://www.facebook.com/W%D0%B0nn%D0%B0-H%D0%9E%D0%A2-ch%D0%B0t-with-me-CLickf-1815408435353179/app/190322544333196/

WARNING!! On this site all the people want sex!
/u/C6kgPBfN
Created: Sat Feb 13 11:30:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45lv9w/warning_on_this_site_all_the_people_want_sex/
---
[removed]

[Goal] The best news today could have given me
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 118.0 | 20.65 | 107 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 11:21:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ltn7/the_best_news_today_could_have_given_me/
---
A while back, I mentioned that a year ago (a year ago TODAY) I weighed in at a monstrous and terrifying 225. I was the highest (and the emotionally lowest) I'd ever been. Hated myself. Desperately unhappy all the time. Sick physically ALL THE TIME.

A year ago today, I sat sobbing in my bathroom, feeling like I would never be ME again, but knowing that I had to TRY. I had to do something! And for right or wrong, I threw myself back into my ED with full force. I don't regret that.

I had said in another thread that my goal for today was 110. In order to have reached that goal when I set it, some pretty crazy things would have had to happen for it to even be mathematically possible. As we all know, the disordered brain isn't a logical one lol, and so, I can't tell you that I've made it to 110 today.

Last week I had a really awful experience at a store I was getting groceries from. Lets just boil it down to this: I got followed, catcalled, and one person even used the toe of their shoe to lift up the back of my skirt while I was grabbing something from the bottom shelf. I'm not really a confrontational person, but in this case, I tried my best... and had the person laugh in my face, tell me I was "feisty" and that he liked that and we should get to know each other. I left the store in tears, my anxiety at a breaking point, got home and binged. The morning after, I felt awful and decided the only way to find my balance and peace with myself again was to do a water only fast. Today is day 7, and I'll break the fast at 7:30.

My weigh in time is always 10:10am, no clue why, it just feels lucky I guess. Sometimes it even is, haha. Here's the important thing about all this. I haven't been able to weigh myself in almost a month! So today was really, really, important.

Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that I had surely gained. That I wasn't 122, 123... nope, SURELY, I believed I was all the way back at 128! So I set my scale down, undressed, and braced myself for the worst.

118! I'm Josie! This is also the second of three weight goals I set for myself, next up, UGW dun dun dun~ It's not 110, but it sure as heck isn't 128, and I'm almost in tears for how happy I am, how relieved I am, to see that number! That's 107 pounds less than that poor sobbing fat girl that sat on the side of my bathtub was one year ago today.

For today? I'm going take it and let myself be happy!

[Tip] I got a food tip for everyone Dutch here and everyone else that doesn't mind trying new foreign meals
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 106 lbs | 18.75 | -48 lbs]
Created: Sat Feb 13 10:56:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45lpdc/i_got_a_food_tip_for_everyone_dutch_here_and/
---
Erwtensoep or snert (Dutch version of pea soup it's a lot less fluid though), we're eating it tonight and I googled the calories, it just has 60-80 kcals the 100 grams, depending on the recipe, so a big portion to me would be about 300 kcals and it tastes goood too. Motherfucking 300 kcals making me feel stuffed and look like way more to everyone else that didn't google the calories. Is this even real life?

Oh btw stamppot boerenkool (kale mash) is a nice one too, also one of my favourite dishes actually.

Sorry if I don't make sense, but I am exited. :D

[Help] How to smoke pot and not eat 2,000 calories in a sitting?
/u/StarPerry [5' 5.5" | 136 | 23.07 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 10:52:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45lomc/how_to_smoke_pot_and_not_eat_2000_calories_in_a/
---
Hey y'all!

So pretty recently, I just started smoking pot, and it's pretty great. Except for the fact that my inner fattie comes out when I smoke.

I liked getting totally ripped, and when I do, the eat-beast in me comes out. I ate an ungodly amount of Taco Bell last night.

How do I stave the munchies when smoking?

[Rant] possible failed recovery
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | 136 | 23.8 | -39 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 10:22:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ljdj/possible_failed_recovery/
---
after a health scare (thankfully unrelated to my restriction), i thought i wanted to get better, but it's only been a week and i want to give up on recovery. i still need to lose weight from a purely health stand point because while i'm in a healthy bmi range, my bingos, thunder thighs and muffin top are all telling me that this weight is still too high of a place for me to be.
but i don't know how to lose weight healthily. all i know how to do is either binge or restrict and now that i'm not restricting, all i've been doing is overeating which i tried to compensate for at the gym, but there aren't enough hours in the day to work off the calories i've been eating and it's left me very sore on top of feeling discouraged because there has been no progress with my weight loss. in fact, my weight went up to 141 and then settled back down to 136 which is the weight i was before i made the half-hearted attempt at recovery.
i feel so disheartened and i truly, i want to give up on recovery. it doesn't feel like recovery, i just feel terrified of gaining weight and i'm constantly terrified i'll be overweight again because if i keep overeating at the rate i am, i will be overweight again in no time! i don't know what to do and i'm not asking you all to help me decide or anything, i just. i don't even know at this point. :/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 13 09:02:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45l2x6/daily_food_diary_february_13_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 13, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


Bulimia Nervosa Eating Disorder- Symptoms and Side Effects
/u/Sonywala
Created: Sat Feb 13 08:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45krns/bulimia_nervosa_eating_disorder_symptoms_and_side/
---
http://nutritionhealthfitnessandweightloss.blogspot.com/2016/02/bulimia-nervosa-eating-disorder.html

[Discussion] How do you feel before weighing yourself?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 13 06:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45k6bj/how_do_you_feel_before_weighing_yourself/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] How to not binge at work?
/u/shreddedcoconuts [5'4" | 112lbs | 19.2| -30| F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 06:02:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45k6b4/how_to_not_binge_at_work/
---
I usually do well all week until today (Saturday), where I work an evening shift at a restaurant. I'm constantly surrounded by food and during our break we are often offered some food. How do I not give in? I keep ruining my deficit all week by eating 2000cals + once I'm there :(

[Rant] Can't even fast right
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 05:43:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45k3pe/cant_even_fast_right/
---
I've been fasting for a little over 40 hours now. All I've had is water & green tea. I wanted to make chicken broth but I figured that'd be 10 calories I don't need. It's gotten me so tired that all I can do is lay in bed, I can't even think straight anymore. But I figured I had to. The fact that I was even thinking about food was making me feel guilty. I promised myself I wouldn't eat until I could weigh myself today. And I did ; 46kg. I reset the scale 3 times. There is no way it was wrong. I was 45.8kg yesterday. I feel so disgusting. I know there's absolutely no way that it isn't water weight but, it feels like it's fat. I unwrapped some chocolate earlier to flush down the toilet, just so I could keep the wrappers lying around. I feel like the calories somehow seeped through my skin and made me gain. And now I feel insane for being this obsessed that I can't handle 200 grams of what's most likely water weight. I am so tired of all of this.

[Discussion] Weight of your hair...
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 122.4lbs | 19.1 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Sat Feb 13 02:50:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45jmzs/weight_of_your_hair/
---
I know people *say* your hair doesn't weigh that much but hear me out.

I was watching like, some weird addiction show, it had a woman with 21ft long dreads. She said they weighed around 10lbs dry.

So my hair is closer to three feet long than two feet long. Even though it's not dreaded, I can't help but feel like that's probably at least most of a pound (or more...)

I mean, I love my hair, it is my number one vanity. I have no intention of cutting it. But I wonder how much it effects the number on the scale, too.... anybody else?

[Discussion] Being brought down by my boobs.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 13 01:30:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45jfpn/being_brought_down_by_my_boobs/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Water weight
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Feb 13 00:26:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45j9eu/water_weight/
---
Just wondering, what's the most you've ever gained from water weight? I weigh in at 1,5 pounds heavier than yesterday, I ate a lot (1450) but a lot of it was salty and spicey. I feel like I burned at least 700 extra kcal too.

[Goal] A few thoughts and non-scale victories today.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 13 00:13:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45j883/a_few_thoughts_and_nonscale_victories_today/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] I miss my old body.
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Fri Feb 12 22:34:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ixvk/i_miss_my_old_body/
---
My second dance with my ED left me at 67 pounds at 5'0.5. My BMI was 13.2, my measurements were 27-20-27, I wore a size 000. But I got caught and forced into the cattle ranch/clusterfuck center/piƱata factory and stuffed up to 107. One. oh. seven *dry heaves*

I've trimmed down to 96 but demand have I a long way to go.

So I thought I might out line my goals just to get myself in order.

ā€¢See my hipbones by the end of March

ā€¢Thigh gap and collarbones by May

ā€¢Delicate wrists by June.

ā€¢89 pounds by then.

I will do it. I can do it. I will be beautiful again, I will love myself again.

[Rant] I want wrist bones
/u/MMI_Montauk [5'5" | CW140 | BMI 23.57 | GW115 | -18 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 22:10:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45iv6z/i_want_wrist_bones/
---
I'm holding my phone in my right hand, scrolling through the sub with my thumb, and I saw my arm out of my peripheral. This virtually straight line running from my forearm to my hand. I want my wrist back. I don't even fucking have a wrist right now. I just want a wrist again. That's all.


[Rant] I'm so scared I'll get caught
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Fri Feb 12 21:56:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45itis/im_so_scared_ill_get_caught/
---
I still live with my family as I'm not yet 18 and in always so scared they'll find out. Like just now after I got don purging my dog ran to my bathroom sniffing around :( I hope no one finds out. I'm worried that might have been a give away.

edit: dog, not ova. fuck you, autocorrect.

[Rant] A nutritious breakfast
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 12 21:55:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45itf9/a_nutritious_breakfast/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Sigh. Sorry for the rant.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 21:32:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45iqbz/sigh_sorry_for_the_rant/
---
When I'm stressed it's all or nothing. I can go for ages without an appetite when I'm an anxious wreck, only to gorge on anything in sight once the fog lifts.

And I was doing so well, too! I weighed in at 109lbs exactly this morning. I'll probably be back up at 111 tomorrow... sigh.

Oh well. Sorry for the rant. Thanks for letting me vent. I don't like complaining but sometimes I have to.

[Rant] Ugh--my scale is broken
/u/bequietbelly [5'10" | 153 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 21:12:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45inwf/ughmy_scale_is_broken/
---
I wrote in to the manufacturer to replace my scale--the feet got broken off when I was moving and now it's useless. Their customer service is great, but I'm going to have to wait to get my new one for a few weeks.

I could go down to the rec center or doctor's office to weigh myself, but using different scales might throw me off, and I if I weighed myself as much as I want to I'd be known as That Weird Scale Lady for life.

This is driving me nuts--before I gorged myself out of a year's worth of progress I'd been trying to avoid the scale and not obsess about it so much. Now that I'm in obsession mode, I need to see a number slowly dropping on my scale like Popeye needs spinach.

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to track my progress with measurements for a while. Not quite as satisfying, especially at this size, but it'll do for now. I want my tiny waist back, it's got to be somewhere under that lard I packed on.

TL;DR- Whining because I have to curse at a measuring tape instead of a scale for three weeks.

[Discussion] Anyone else with celiac/food allergies?
/u/_theninthcircle
Created: Fri Feb 12 20:37:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ij0h/anyone_else_with_celiacfood_allergies/
---
I'm celiac, and my SO really wanted to go out for Valentine's Day so I pushed myself to eat normally for him. Lo and behold, the meal they said was gluten free wasn't and now I'm kicking myself for wasting calories on a meal that's going to make me sick for the next two days. On the bright side, hopefully I'll lose some weight from the (involuntary) purging...

[Rant] [rant] Panicking about cookie dough
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 135 lbs | 20.30 | -28 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 18:59:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45i5n5/rant_panicking_about_cookie_dough/
---
My brother is over and playing video games with my husband. It's the weekend, he's a teenager, I made him cookies. I LOVE baking, have forever. I used to have several cookie recipes memorized because I made them so often. And it was really fun to mix up a beautiful batter and make my brother happy.

Then I licked the spoon.

I couldn't stop myself. I just put that sucker in my mouth and swallowed so much dough. I NEVER eat sweets unless I have planned ahead for them. This massive bite of cookie dough is making me panic. I drank 25 oz of water already and I'm going to hula hoop for 30 min just to calm down.

I hate ED. I hate that it has this much power over me. Why does it do this to me? Why can't I enjoy a single fucking bite of cookie dough?

[Discussion] Journals
/u/vigil_morgenstein
Created: Fri Feb 12 16:36:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45hkb2/journals/
---
Hello lovelies. Apologies straight off the bat, I'm usually a lurker, and posting from my phone so sorry for the basic post!

Just wondering if anyone else keeps a journal specifically for food / weight stuff? If you do, what do you put in there?

I have a cute one I got while on holiday and I love it. I've always loved stationery but struggling with journaling. But this one is different - it's pretty and small enough for me to carry around. It feels nice to physically carry around a little secret, and reassuring that I can tuck myself away and vent in there without letting on to anyone about the crazy stuff going on in my head. Plus it has a diary in there so I can really keep track of things.

It helps to calm me down, keep me on track, and keep me accountable to myself. Writing things down gives me perspective and keeps me focussed on my goals. It's more like a diary I guess, but it works for me!

So I was just wondering if anyone else does the same? What do you write about? Do you draw? Any journaling suggestions/ideas?

[Rant] "If you lose much more weight you'll disappear!"
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 16:10:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45hg4i/if_you_lose_much_more_weight_youll_disappear/
---
http://imgur.com/vRJqAQr

[Goal] I did it!
/u/LadyGreyish [5'7 | 124lbs | 19.5 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 15:32:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ha07/i_did_it/
---
Hi guys! I've been struggling last 2 weeks with b/p, and today, for the first time in forever, I haven't binged at all! Instead, I went running when I had the urge, and now I actually ate only as much as I burned with running and I couldn't be happier.

A lot of thanks to this subreddit, knowing that you guys are all doing so good makes me want to try harder to do it equally as good! So big thanks :).

[Rant] Fast food is haunting my brain today
/u/MMI_Montauk [5'5" | CW140 | BMI 23.57 | GW115 | -18 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 14:57:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45h3yd/fast_food_is_haunting_my_brain_today/
---
I've been restricting by drinking a cup of black coffee in the morning and then having my one meal when I get home from work, after I do some cardio. It's been working really well actually, and I plan to keep with this plan for a while. I've spent all day at my desk keeping myself distracted from my yummy black bean taco that's waiting for me at home... And then I remembered I have to go straight to my friends house after work to watch Greys Anatomy with her.

So now I'm not going to get my cardio in, I'm going to have to find a way to say no to her daily loaf of rosemary bread dipped in balsamic vinegar and oil, and my meal is that much further away. It's all I can think about, and my stomach keeps telling me to just stop at McDonalds and pick up a burger or two. Just swing by McDonalds on the way home! No big deal.

Egh. My stomach hates me and I just wanna go home.


Also, this is my first time submitting, so hi :). I've finally become brave (or whiny) enough to decide I can be a part of the community, instead of just scrolling through it every day all day reading everything. I didn't know what to flag it.. But it seemed more Rant-y than Intro-y


[Tip] Had to get rid of money so that I wouldn't binge them away. Box for coffee, box for tea, box for napkins, notebook for restriction plans.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Fri Feb 12 14:13:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45gvr8/had_to_get_rid_of_money_so_that_i_wouldnt_binge/
---
http://i.imgur.com/d4LaJZX.png

Had to get rid of money so that I wouldn't binge them away. No regrets.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 12 14:09:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45gv02/had_to_get_rid_of_money_so_that_i_wouldnt_binge/
---
http://i.imgur.com/d4LaJZX.png

[Sell/Swap] [Sell] NWT Banana Republic Scoop Neck Little Black Dress Size 8 (US)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 13:44:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45gqoy/sell_nwt_banana_republic_scoop_neck_little_black/
---
I've had this up on Tradesy for awhile but figured I'd post it here as well :)

###[Little Black Dress](http://imgur.com/a/QVWdj)

- Banana Republic
- Work/Business Casual/Office style dress
- 72% Polyester, 23% Rayon, 5% Spandex
- Dry clean
- Knee length - 30" in length from neckline to hem
- Sleeveless (2" at narrowest)
- Back zip
- Flared skirt

Garment has never been worn, has original tags and shows no visible signs of wear. $40 + shipping via PayPal or else I can link you to my Tradesy post ($55, shipping include).

[Tip] Skinny Greek Lemon Chicken Soup Recipe
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 13:38:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45gps9/skinny_greek_lemon_chicken_soup_recipe/
---
Someone suggested that I share my recipes, as I routinely adapt and invent new low cal dinners to trick my SO into thinking we are eating a regular meal. I save most of my cal intake for this one meal.

Here's yesterday's dinner...

A skinny version of greek lemon chicken soup for anyone who might like to try... You can easily substitute veggies or seasonings, these were just what I had on hand.

Depending on your portion size, 2 cups soup ~ 208 cal or 2 1/2 cups soup ~ 278 cal. For vegetarian option, you could use veg broth instead of chicken broth. I have no idea what the macronutrients or other nutritional data as I'm all about the fucking calories. One day...

You could probably bring the calories down further by substituting the orzo for cavatappi pasta, rice noodles, or quinoa, or shredded zucchini, or spaghetti squash... but I had to make it look like a regular meal as I was cooking for others...

**Skinny Greek Lemon Chicken Soup**

**Yield:** ~ 16 cups;
Total calories ~ 1167;
6 servings (2.5 cups) ~ 278 cal;
8 servings (2 cups) ~ 208 cal

**INGREDIENTS**

* 1 tbsp coconut oil = 110
* 3 garlic cloves, grated = 13
* 1/2 tsp ginger = 1 (I wanted 1 tsp but all I had)
* 1 cup onions, chopped = 64
* 2 cups carrots, chopped = 106
* 1 cup cucumber, grated, drained (or any other veggie) = 64
* 5 cups homemade chicken broth (I had some from another day) = 430
* 3 cups hot water w/ 3 tsp ā€œbetter-than-bouillonā€ bouillon = 45
* 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, shredded = 172
* 1 tsp lime chile salt = 0 (or 1/2 tsp salt + 1/2 tsp chilli or cayenne or shot of hot sauce)
* 1/2 tsp black pepper, freshly ground = 0
* 1 tbsp italian seasoning = 0
* 2 bay leaf = 0
* 1 tsp honey balsamic vinegar = 20
* 1 tsp red pepper jelly = 20 (you could use honey, but more calories)
* 1 cup uncooked orzo pasta = 600
* 1-2 fresh lemons (1/4-1/2 cup lemon juice, 1 tsp zest) = 22 (store bought lemon juice is usually 0 cal)

I have this phobia of processed foods, so I make most everything from scratch, including the italian seasoning, lime chile salt, chilli powder, red pepper jellyā€¦ but you could check the calories on what condiments you have on hand. I havenā€™t figured out how to make pasta yet.

**INSTRUCTIONS**

1. Bake chicken breast in oven at 400 Ā°F about 20 min per side.

2. Heat oil in large soup pot. SautƩ garlic, ginger and onions until those fuckers be translucent (about 5 min.) Add veggies and cook a few min more.

4. Add chicken broth, hot water, chicken, seasonings and condiments. Bring to boil over med heat then simmer until veggies tender (about 10-15 min)

5. Meanwhile, at band camp, cook orzo according to package directions. Rinse and drain.

6. Add cooked orzo and lemon juice and zest and VOILAā€¦ delicious soup! Fill your face <3

The greeks like to add a little dill or a dollop of yogurt, but meh... Let me know if you like it :)

[Sell/Swap] Jeans, need 12s, have 14s
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 13:13:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45glii/jeans_need_12s_have_14s/
---
I have some size 14 jeans, and I need size 12. Anyone have any size 12 to send, or/and need 14? I can take pics when I get home later. No payment for the actual clothes, just shipping. I have PayPal or Google wallet.

Thanks! šŸ˜Š

[Help] Concerned Boyfriend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 12 13:10:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45gkw1/concerned_boyfriend/
---
[deleted]

Two new flairs! Sell/Swap and Intro
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 12:50:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ghej/two_new_flairs_sellswap_and_intro/
---
Thanks for [reminding us](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45g7rf/quick_reminder_clothing_swap_thread/) about clothing swaps, /u/smallprincess! Instead of having a link in the sidebar to a single thread, we've implemented a new flair for you guys to post your own clothing swap threads! :) Don't forget:

* Sometimes unfortunate people stumble across the sub and might try to exploit you. Take care.
* Sale of clothing is fine, just specify that. Payment information would be given at the buyer's discretion and it's not up to the mods to determine if someone wants to pay you money or not. Just be aware this will be all at your own risk.
* All address swapping info / payment info / specific item questions should be done through PM for obvious privacy reasons.

We love you! Stay safe!

[Goal] First selfie on this subreddit :0
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 12 12:25:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45gd8k/first_selfie_on_this_subreddit_0/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] First selfie progress pic
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 12 12:13:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45gb65/first_selfie_progress_pic/
---
[removed]

[Goal] Day 5 and The End of the Mega Fast
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Fri Feb 12 12:00:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45g8vs/day_5_and_the_end_of_the_mega_fast/
---
This it's it. It's broken.

I felt like shit, I was cold, my head was swimming, I could barely move. Nothing felt right and I was scared.

I binged. Out of necessity. I needed fuel and I needed it now, I'm just grateful this culminated on the day of the potluck, because I don't know if I could have made it through the day without fainting...

My only regret is that I won't know my final weight unadulterated by water weight.


Edit: The binge has gone past the point of necessity. I feel so bad I think I could just curl up and unload from both ends. The idea is tempting. Half a dozen Krispy Kreme, two large pieces of cheesecake. At least a pound of Mexican layered break dip half a dozen chocolate chip cookies... Ughhjhhhhhhh

[Tip] Quick Reminder, clothing swap thread
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 11:54:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45g7rf/quick_reminder_clothing_swap_thread/
---
There's a clothing swap thread, oh-so helpfully linked in the sidebar. No one's posted in a few weeks, just want to make sure it's not forgotten šŸ˜Š

I just posted something, so shameless self-promotion šŸ˜œ

[Help] Leaving for a 2 week vacation. How to resist social eating?
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 117.8 lbs | 21.5 | -13.8 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 11:44:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45g5zg/leaving_for_a_2_week_vacation_how_to_resist/
---
Leaving on monday to go visit my best friend and her boyfriend in Florida for roughly 2 weeks. Luckily they don't have a bunch of extra money so I know we won't be splurging. However I know I will probably be surrounded by junk food in their house. My best friend knows of my disordered eating and I know she's not going to tempt me but when I go to new places, I'm in a good mood and like to eat (as I've said in past posts I restrict or don't eat at all if I'm in a bad mood or depressed). How do I deal.....

[Rant] Moms...
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Feb 12 11:21:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45g1rj/moms/
---
...the only people who can call you fat and say they hope you're being healthy in the same breath.

My mom keeps hinting that she thinks I'm not losing weight in a healthy way. I deny it of course and say calorie counting, which is technically true.

But then her very next sentence is "the only place you really need to lose is your thighs, that's where you carry all your weight"

Thanks mom, for reminding me how disgusting my legs are

[Help] Someone help me out here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 12 10:55:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45fx50/someone_help_me_out_here/
---
So I'm heading out for Indian food night with my friends. I've already eaten 1000cals for today and reached my limit, but I feel like I won't be able to control myself. Can someone please tell me to hold myself back and if I eat, eat in moderation and not binge? Please?
I made it a vow to not binge for 40 days of lent. Please help me here. :(

[Help] I GAINED two pounds?!
/u/thin-kitty [5'6 | 138 | 22.6 | -97 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 10:49:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45fw6i/i_gained_two_pounds/
---
I've been restricting and exercising an hour a day, I feel slimmer, and I step on the scale today and somehow I've gained weight?! I don't know if it's because I haven't been adding my calories right or maybe because I haven't 'gone to the bathroom' in a few days, but it's put me in such a rotten mood. :(

Any advice, friends?

[Help] Where could I find photos of people with specific BMIs? Specifically 17.3...
/u/stjarnlax
Created: Fri Feb 12 10:15:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45fq6s/where_could_i_find_photos_of_people_with_specific/
---
I feel like my own body view is so distorted id like to see what people at the same bmi look like. I know everyones bodies are different and such but still itd be nice to look at them.
Anyone know any good resources for this?

[Rant] Best of luck to all of us today
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 09:32:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45fipe/best_of_luck_to_all_of_us_today/
---
as our well-meaning coworkers bring sweets into the office to share. I walked into an array of candy all over my desk :/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 12 09:02:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45fdiq/daily_food_diary_february_12_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 12, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] Re: Plateauing (TMI)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 12 08:46:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45faxh/re_plateauing_tmi/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Help with running/exercise plan? Want to reduce muscle mass, I have chunky-monkey-muscle-y thighs (but new thigh gap yay!)
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 08:13:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45f5al/help_with_runningexercise_plan_want_to_reduce/
---
Hi there,

Had a bad few days being stuck in binge/purge/restrict cycle but back on track now.

I finally have a thigh gap! I do no exercise except walking, minimum target is 4 miles which I usually exceed.

I really want to start running, I used to in the past but I broke my foot last summer and had to stop. But I really want to start again. The only thing is I'm not sure I want that toned look - I just want to be fragile and boney. I know at my BMI and weight that's a long way off and running will accelerate me getting there by just revving calories burned, but I don't want to put on/maintain my thigh muscles. My thighs are very muscly anyway - I used to strength train (why!) and I literally only just got a thigh gap.

My plan was to carry on as per in terms of food - I have a limit of 800 calories per day which I normally eat in one big fat sitting, after a few weeks of keeping to this rather than B/P I am going to drop it down to 600 - and keep walking my 4+ miles, but do three long fasted runs in the morning per week? I was thinking if I stopped/really limited eating protein my muscles would not be able to repair themselves and would get smaller as I did. But then I know that sugars can be converted to protein (or is it the other way around?) certainly if I work out for a long time in a fasted state it is apparently catabolic and the muscle will be taken down, and if I don't replenish protein stores that's that. That's what I've read anyway.

So yeah has anyone had any successes in adding in exercise but also causing muscular atrophy? I don't want to get rid of my new thigh gap (never thought at my height and build I'd have one!)

[Rant] First Post, feel horrible.
/u/shreddedcoconuts [5'4" | 112lbs | 19.2| -30| F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 08:03:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45f3rq/first_post_feel_horrible/
---
Hi everyone,

Been lurking for a while and it only clicked to me right about now that my thoughts are becoming problematic, but my want and need to be very thin still exists even though I acknowledge it isn't always right..

I am 19 years old. I used to be 5'4 140 pounds, I lost weight from April to September and got to 115 to around a size 2. I strictly ate 1200 cals a day, sometimes less when I felt like I could. I felt great, people told me I looked good, thrown in with an occasional "you're too skinny". I liked how I looked however, and over the next few months got to around 110, around a size 0. I felt really great at this weight, but now everyone was saying my weight was becoming an issue and that I looked "like a bone".

Over that time with the holidays and whatnot, I gained back to 115. And that's around where I am now. Well...now I feel like crying all the time and feel fat as hell.

My proportions are around 35-24-35 and I seriously hate my bust and hips. My waist continues to shrink and shrink, my arms and legs are very thin, but my hips look HUGE no matter what and compared to my small waist, its emphasized even more. I don't know what to do, I feel like I need to become 100 pounds in order to get to that point, but I don't know if I'll like the rest of my body at that point either.

I'm now stuck in a cycle of binge and restricting. I am trying to do my 1200 cals a day again but it seems harder...I don't know why. To the point where I binge once a week. Yesterday I ate 2000 cals. I walked and exercised a lot but I still feel like I'm gaining weight off that. I feel hopeless, and like I'll never be able to get to the body point I want. My clothes still fit, but they don't feel "loose" how they did when I was around 110. I used to be happy going to the store and not having any clothes in the normal sections fit me because I was "too thin". Now the smallest size is fitting and I feel like a disgusting fat pig.

I guess I am just ranting here, thanks for anyone who listened.

[Intro] I want to be happy again. [Intro]
/u/30secondsto130 [5'8" | 161 | 24.2 | -15 | M]
Created: Fri Feb 12 07:17:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ewiv/i_want_to_be_happy_again_intro/
---
I have always struggled with my weight.

I have always been the
fat kid.

My parents both have horrible eating habits, and I think that has come off on me to some extent. It is not unusual for them to eat dinner, then have a quarter of a cheesecake plus ice-cream tub for dessert.

I see this gluttonous behaviour in myself, especially when it comes to sweets, and I hate myself for it. It started slowly enough, with restricting, eating 1800 calories a day, then 1500, then 1200, then one meal a day, then fasting for multiple days - only eating when I socially have to. I dropped from 180lbs -> 120lbs. I was so happy. I loved feeling attractive. I loved the feeling of self control. The light-headedness. Passing out. I felt content with myself for once. I would wake up in the morning, and feel good, because I didn't feel trapped in my body. But, you guys, I fucked up. Badly. I became complacent with my weight. Oh - 'Sure, I've worked hard enough for that pizza' I thought. This behaviour led to a long and painful b/p cycle which has lead me to the weight I am now. 180lbs. I feel like fucking crying. I think my shortfall was trying to do it on my own.

This time, to stop me relapsing into being the fat fuck I am, I need support, so that's why I am here, I guess. I need help to stop binging. To get rid of my sugar addiction and to get back on the wagon. I want to get back to 120 by September. Is it possible?

I just want it all to go away.

[Goal] Today is bittersweet.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 07:11:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45evmy/today_is_bittersweet/
---
I weighed myself today. For three day's I've weighed consistently at 116.4 pounds.

That's 1.1 pounds less that I weighed in high school.

I really thought I would be happy getting here but I'm more critical of myself now than I ever was before.

117 used to be my goal and it seems miles away from what I hope will be "enough."

Anyways, I'm glad I've gotten down regardless. To celebrate, here are some pictures.

[my previous lowest](http://imgur.com/a/HIAdy)

[my highest and the picture that served as a wakeup call](http://i.imgur.com/FacBmV9.jpg)

[me now](http://imgur.com/a/BVTXT)

[Discussion] Overanalyzing body comments - we all do it, right?
/u/heywaitformenonotyou
Created: Fri Feb 12 06:40:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45er8n/overanalyzing_body_comments_we_all_do_it_right/
---
My whole life I have been an anxious person who overanalyzes pretty much everything, especially comments about my body. Whenever someone says something like "Oh, you're so thin!" "You look so healthy!" "You never eat at work!" or even "You look great!", I automatically start thinking of what they really mean by their comment. Are they actually saying that I'm fat?! If I look great now, how horrible must I have looked before? If you think I don't eat at work, you must think that I must binge my face off at home because clearly I am gigantic, right?!

Ugh.

Sometimes, it would be nice just to take a comment or compliment at face value and not look for some hidden meaning that might not even be there. Any in the same boat and want to share how they handle it?

[Discussion] What time of the day are you likely to binge ?
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Fri Feb 12 05:30:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ei66/what_time_of_the_day_are_you_likely_to_binge/
---
So this week, and lately, I've been catching myself being bingey a lot on weird stuff like apples or dry cereal and, like, crasins - and I'm okaaay because I stay under my cal goals (666 lol) but then because I sorta binged on the spot, it has to essentially count as the one meal of the day. This is usually in the morning before anyone else is awake - I don't eat food in front of people so that makes sense, but then I feel vulnerable and obligated to burn more calories throughout my activities for the rest of the day, not to mention how tempted I get around 5pm (it was 6am when I breakfast binged). Anyone else want to share their temporal weak side? Is having such an exclusive time slot to do this sustainable ? You learn in biosci that eating a small fruit once you wake up is beneficial to metabolism.. but I don't want to be bombing my body so early in the am if it doesn't because I'm clocking 500 cals in an hour

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! February 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 12 05:02:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45eetd/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_february_12/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for February 12, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

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[Intro] Dr. Strangediet or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Starvation (Intro)
/u/SixForMySorrow [5'10 | 125 | 17.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 01:23:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45dtir/dr_strangediet_or_how_i_learned_to_stop_worrying/
---
Hey Everyone. I've been lurking this sub since late summer/early fall. In all honestly I'm not sure why I've finally decided to actually join in this glorious orgy of self-loathing, but here I am.

I've hated my body in one way or another for a long time. When I was younger, I hated my height and felt like a clumsy, overgrown mutant at all times. I got tall before everyone else my age did, and looking back, that's when a lot of my self-consciousness started. However, since I was growing so quickly during those years, I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted (which was a lot) and still be (albeit slightly) underweight. I loved it, especially because I went through some unpleasant things in my childhood and adolescence and food was a huge comfort to me. In any case, I was relieved that if there was too much of me vertically, at least I could make up for it by being less horizontally, all while still eating like an insatiable beast. I remember a specific instance, standing over the kitchen sink and straining some ramen noodles for a post-dinner snack (Jesus Christ, how dare I?) and thinking to myself that I would rather die than have to worry about eating too much and getting fat. Food was one of the few things that made me feel calm and satisfied.

In high school (when I 'filled out'), I began to hate my weight/proportions/the general shape of my body, and that's where I've been ever since. My biggest issue is definitely my lower-body. I have these horribly wide "child-bearing" (as JERKS call them) hips that jut out from my torso, huge thighs, fat knees (which are unfortunately a real thing, yes) and thick shapeless calves. My upper-body causes me less, though still quite a bit, of distress because I have a flabby midsection, sad little boobs that look wrong on my large frame, and matronly arms. Arms made for carrying a pair of pudgy twin boys, only I hate kids and will never have any, so fuck me and my massive arms, right? Overall, I am a misshapen freak. I also feel the need to compulsively point these things out, just in case anyone happens to miss them, and I know it's annoying but I swear I am driven by some dark force to ensure that people are thoroughly aware of what an eyesore I am.

I can't remember what triggered it, but one day I had the realization that I looked fat and I *can* remember crying myself to sleep that night. I first started engaging in disordered eating when I was 15. Nothing too extreme, mostly just skipping meals, eating only low-calorie food, "drunkorexia," and running a few pitiful kilometres a week. I tried to make myself throw up, but I could never quite get the food out and I still can't (as of a few days agoā€¦ hah). I went through 5-6 short periods of "crash-diet-y" eating in high school and in my first two years of university, but never lost more than 5 pounds or so before giving up. At the beginning of this past summer, I realized that I could not possibly exist at 145 pounds anymore, and bless my soul, I did START losing weight with the best of intentions. Instead of counting calories, I just focussed on cutting out junk food and eating as much 'healthy food' as I wanted. I listened to my favourite albums when I went running and started to actually enjoy it. I lost 10 pounds and got down to 135 this way (which is a few pounds above the lower limit of my healthy BMI), but I was devastated: I felt as if I looked even larger, and I became obsessive. My old habits started inching back into my life, only now I had a newfound determination. When I went back to uni in the fall, it became very easy to not eat all day, to go downtown to avoid meals, and I've been running 6-8 km three times a week. I started skipping breakfast and lunch and only eating a small dinner since I have to eat with my family most nights. I started lying to them about what I *had* eaten because my mom wouldn't stop commenting on my size, and even my perpetually oblivious dad joked, "don't become anorexic on me."

By Christmas, I was at 125, but being home all day with my parents during the break meant being watched and being expected to eat all sorts of high-calorie festive garbage like the trashcan I truly am. Regrettably, I absolutely **delighted** in stuffing myself after spending 5 months restricting, and I continued to stuff myself like a belated Christmas turkey until mid-January, at which point I finally stepped on the scale to read 134.5. I realized that I was on my way back to 145 and on my way back to feeling like a fucking pig all the time, so I reinstated some self-control and am now 127. I don't have a goal weight anymore because all that I really want is to look in the mirror and not want to cry and I don't think you can measure that in pounds.

I'm so sorry about the length, but I have no one I can talk to about this and it feels so great to PURGE it all over you guys. Just a little eating disorder humour, sorry.

Thanks for reading.

[Intro] I was just looking through pics of myself at my lowest weight (also kind of an intro?).
/u/kittenvillain [5'6" | 133 | 21.55 | -17.6 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 12 00:45:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45dptd/i_was_just_looking_through_pics_of_myself_at_my/
---
When I had thought about it recently I felt like I was pretty slim at the time, especially since lots of my clothes from that period don't fit. Looking through the pics though I still had so much fat to lose and I wish I hadn't stopped.

Also I was doing insanity and running 2+ miles almost daily along with (moderate) restricting and still managed to be skinnyfat, so what the hell is that about? And at lower weights my mild scoliosis is a lot more apparent and my hips look lopsided as fuck.

It gives me a lot more focus now though. I thought a low-normal BMI would be alright to get back to but it's becoming pretty clear my particular bone structure and fat deposits are going to require I venture well into underweight territory before I actually look thin. Anything extra just hangs on me and looks so wrong and awkward.

Brief Intro: Long time lurker, first time poster. Never formally diagnosed but have had disordered eating habits (in particular, restricting, bingeing, and overexercising) since middle school. I know this isn't a 'weight loss' sub, but there isn't anywhere on reddit that has an attitude towards food/weight loss/body image that I identify with as much proED. It's nice to be somewhere that I won't be harangued for my methods or goals.

[Discussion] Weekend coming up
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Fri Feb 12 00:39:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45dp8n/weekend_coming_up/
---
Hey lovelies, it's that time again. Drinks are flowing, and temptations are high. I am planning on fasting through the weekend save drinking & a few pregame snacks (necessary evil.) What are y'alls plans for the weekend?

Solidarity helps me stay on track. Post thinspo if you got it. Music too. I'm at my goal weight, now I just need to keep myself there till the 18th as that's when I'm going to see hot skinny rocker dude across the country. Wish me luck! Water, tea, coffee, and brushing my teeth! That's all I need! Get free.

[Help] cant poop
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 114.4 lb | 22.34 | -13.5| Female]
Created: Thu Feb 11 23:57:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45dko0/cant_poop/
---
restricting & just started new meds... whats ur fave laxitive that wont take me out for a whole day.... (not using as a method of purging just genuinly have not gone in 4 days)

[Help] How do you hide the weight loss?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Thu Feb 11 23:30:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45dhlx/how_do_you_hide_the_weight_loss/
---
In about 1,5 month I've lost 13 pounds. Someone made a comment yesterday if I was doing OK, I looked like I've lost a lot of weight. What are your best ways to hide it?



[Rant] I just got called average
/u/ohwhoaa [5'11"| CW 119.6lbs | GW 115lbs | BMI16.90 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 23:19:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45dgfl/i_just_got_called_average/
---
I use my phone and usually lurk on here so that's why I don't have a flair.

Anyways, I just got done hanging out with a boy and he was telling me how nice it was to be with an average, normal girl. He said that like it was a compliment. He also said that girls are either "ugly, average, or psycho". I'm not really planning on hanging out with him again because that's just such a weird thing to say about girls in general and I'm not really into guys like that. But it bothers me so much that I got called average. Who says that as a compliment?

I'm 5'11" and I weighed 128lbs this morning.
I don't want to be the average girl. I want people to look at me and know that I am skinny and far better than people who aren't. Not average. Ugh.


[Rant] Stuck in a binge and purge cycle
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Thu Feb 11 22:46:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45dc96/stuck_in_a_binge_and_purge_cycle/
---
Gah!! I just...I keep binging and purging and I've done it twice today and it's giving me a headache and making me dizzy and it's making worried I'll get caught.

I just want to starve and lose weight. That's all I want. I just want to be tiny and delicate and disciplined again.

I can't seem to get back into the rhythm.

[Help] Feeling like I bit off more than I can chew...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 11 18:30:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ca8f/feeling_like_i_bit_off_more_than_i_can_chew/
---
[removed]

[Intro] Just wanted to say hi...
/u/notjstanotherjanedoe [5'4" | 115 | 19.7 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 17:19:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45bz56/just_wanted_to_say_hi/
---
Hello,
I am a girl from Russia currently living in Southern California. I am carrying around a lot of stress because I'm in my last semester of college, trying to get into a competitive field and terrified of the future.
I have always been fairly slim throughout my teenage years (~113-115 lbs) but when I got to college I stupidly ate like a pig and as a result by the end of sophomore year I was an unbelievable 145 lbs. Over the past couple years (I had to stay in school for an extra year) I have lost it all, I was at the same 113-115 just two months ago. But now the semester started and I find myself favoring cheap and easy food, and I'm way too often tempted by the vending machine on campus to snack, and bleh... I am now at 119 and I feel completely disgusting. I weigh myself every day and look at the average so it wasn't just a fluctuation or whatever.

Anyway I am just looking for some support because I can't imagine dealing with being fat at the same time as dealing with trying to graduate from school and find a job. ._____. I hope you all have a great day!

[Rant] I'm so mad...
/u/DivingRightIn
Created: Thu Feb 11 16:24:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45bq5o/im_so_mad/
---
Why do people constantly think they know what's best for you?
Why do they think telling you "oh that's not a healthy way to live" is even going to start to make a difference?

UGH I'm so mad. I finally confided in a friend and she essentially said "I eat 1000 and its not enough, eating 200-500 is going to do waaayyy more harm than good."

I. DON'T. CARE.
Seriously. They act like I don't know that I'm slowly killing myself. Yes I realize it's unhealthy. Yes I realize its fucking up my body. Do I give a shit? No.

Sorry, I'm not usually such a grouch but ho-oly crap you guys did her saying that piss me off...

[Thinspo] (NSFW- faux gore) this is a pretty effective binge deterrent: anti-diabetes adverts!
/u/zelska [Height: 160cm/5'3" | CW: 51kg/112lbs | GW: 45kg/99lbs]
Created: Thu Feb 11 15:27:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45bgr7/nsfw_faux_gore_this_is_a_pretty_effective_binge/
---
https://imgur.com/a/6sLNQ

[Thinspo] I made some gifs (album of 35)
/u/calorified
Created: Thu Feb 11 15:11:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45be4y/i_made_some_gifs_album_of_35/
---
http://imgur.com/a/9knBV

[Discussion] Does your Mom's body image issues affect your own?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 11 14:40:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45b8td/does_your_moms_body_image_issues_affect_your_own/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I have the worst sinus headache right now and I just want to eat the entire jar of peanut butter in my office cabinet.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 14:24:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45b694/i_have_the_worst_sinus_headache_right_now_and_i/
---
I'm not even hungry but I feel so shitty that I just want to eat until I feel better. But LOL eating *never* makes me feel better. It's so cute that my brain thinks that food = happiness & comfort. ^/s



Off topic, but my husband took me on a date last night to see "Revenant" and *jesus* that movie is brutal. We went to one of those fancy theaters where you can order food and have it brought to your seat so I got a "California burger" with chicken breast instead of beef. There was no calorie list (who doesn't have a calorie list?!) so I debated between the black bean burger patty and chicken for like 15 minutes. Decided to go with the chicken because I didn't know what would be in the black bean patty. Tossed the bun and just ate the chicken breast with the guacamole & a slice of jack cheese on it. Oh, and a million chips with salsa. Regretted it after. I should have just ordered a side salad or something. Weighed myself this morning and I was up 1.2 lbs from yesterday and I *know* I didn't eat 4200 fucking calories yesterday. Seeing that water weight when I step on the scale is so discouraging. My brain *knows* it's just water weight and it's not an accurate number but all my head sees is the number.



The number.



The number.



"It's higher than yesterday, therefore you're a failure." It's so hard to be rational sometimes.

[Rant] Fuck roommates, man
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 122.4lbs | 19.1 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 13:58:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45b1qx/fuck_roommates_man/
---
preface: I love most of the roommates I have/have had, but for some reason I can never get along with all of them. There is always one who things are strained with.

My first place, it was this French guy, from a rural town in the alps, who had some crazy outdated and damaging views on women. I restricted like mad - I totally avoided all the common areas (including and especially the kitchen) to avoid him, but it seemed like every time I broke down and foraged for food, he'd be there, watchful, often commenting on how he'd seen me go to the kitchen like three times that day and I was kind of piggish (though he'd say this to his girlfriend -loudly- and not me.) I moved out with the better roommates.

Now, my boyfriend's brother and one of our 3 other roommates is driving me fucking bonkers. Every little thing he perceives as "wrong" with the house is automatically my fault. Shower has standing water in it? My fault. Everyone's dishes? My fault. Out of toilet paper? My fault. Garbage needs taking out? My fault.

And he tends to ambush me LITERALLY AS I AM LEAVING FOR WORK AND HAVE NO TIME TO SPARE, as in, already have my boots on and am literally walking out the door. SO I never have any time to respond properly, instead I get to stew about it for hours, but by the time six or seven hours have passed and I return home, I can't even remember exactly what he said to call him out on it. He also has a particular, paternalistic way of talking down, extremely long-winded and slow in speech, and it makes the whole thing twice as infuriating.

And. He. Fucking. Comments. On. How. I. Eat.

I am tending closer and closer to orthorexia. Three meals a day max, only one with simple carbs (the other two only fruits or veg) cutting out junk like nobody's business. What fucking right does he have to tell me that my wrap is huge (guess what, genius, that's what happens when you load it up with vegetables) when he goes for four of five bowl of cereal a night? What the fuck goes through his mind when he scoffs at my like eight crackers and cheese, when he drinks like two double doubles every day?

He is the literal definition of skinny fat. He even curves his spine out that way. I am coming to hate him, little by little, which is sad. I recognize that he has a lot of positive shit going on but he uses me as the proxy for all of his frustration and anger, and fuck that nonsense. Yeah, it sucks to get a degree in philosophy with honours and have to work measly, almost gifted hours at a warehouse. Yes, it sucks to have roommates on a different page than you. But that is not *my fault* and him blaming me is wrong and he should feel bad for it but there is no way to bring it up.

sighhhhhh

[Rant] Reclaiming my life
/u/Lunar_Heart [5'1| 92 lbs | 18.15 | -14| f]
Created: Thu Feb 11 13:23:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45avjg/reclaiming_my_life/
---
I am just so unbelievably pissed about having been hospitalized and made fat and I've finally got up the courage to start restricting but I'll be careful this time. No one will no. No one will find out. And I won't be able to get quite as thin. I'll go for a BMI of 17.5 Instead of 13.2. No binging and purging to be caught doing. Just restricting. And I will never weigh the 107 pounds I was forced to weigh again. I lost 9 of that in the 3 weeks after I got out but had to stop. I was decades of getting caught. I hate that my record was ruined, my record of having never had a triple digit weight. It makes me feel so upset and defeated.

I will not let anyone else decide what I should do with my body. What happens to me in the hospital was wrong and unfair and I will not suffer anymore because of it. I'm going to be beautiful again. I am.

[Goal] Week+ Mega Fast Day 4
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Thu Feb 11 12:12:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45ahq2/week_mega_fast_day_4/
---
So today is day four of my fast.

[Link to Day 3](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/454b11/week_mega_water_fast_day_3/)

These posts are here to chronicle this fast and my thoughts and experiences and for me to hold myself accountable. If they need to stop, please say so.

My wife knows. She knows I haven't eaten for four days and I told her outright that I intend to keep this going at least till Monday. I may have to cut this off there, but maybe not. Oddly, though, she's fine with me breaking the fast and going back to <500/cal a day, but doesn't want me to be anorexic (she thinks anorexia is not eating, and doesn't know anything about EDNOS) so I'm not quite sure she has any idea... She just doesn't want me to stop eating. I assured her I was in control and I knew what I was doing.

I don't think she knows about this subreddit yet. She has perused my post history in the past when we were in flux after I came out to her as trans and I spent literally all my time on asktg, so it may be a matter of time. I haven't dared open it on my PC and I'm never on here if she's home...

Anyway, I've been dealing with having to fight the urge to break the fast early. I am dealing with bargaining with myself, saying "Well, you've shown you have the control, so what's to stop you from breaking it off short and restricting" but then it's a slippery slope. Arguably, if I break it off short with that justification, it shows I don't have the control to stick to a goal.

Food has not been an issue today. I did have major trouble last night though, I got the kids food from the restaurant my wife works at and it all smelled so good. I'm gonna have to really REALLY buckle down when I get off this fast, or I'm gonna binge. Hard.

3 more days.

My gut no longer folds over my belt and that is reward in itself. 270, here I come.

Until tomorrow, stay thin.

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they lose more on their period?
/u/tinybites [5'6" | 168.5 | 27.20 | -17 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 11:11:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45a5vf/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_lose_more_on/
---
On the week of my period I can usually lose up to 5 pounds, normally I lose 2 pounds a week if i'm lucky. Maybe because I get suck bad cramps it's hard to even have an appetite at all.

[Goal] Oreos vs. Sweet Potato; a success story.
/u/canwefloat [5'5 | 117 | - 14 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 10:44:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45a0iv/oreos_vs_sweet_potato_a_success_story/
---
Anyone who knows me knows I love Oreos. They're my ultimate binge food.

So side note before diving in to this story, today I'm wearing jeans I bought ten pounds ago. I couldn't fit into them then, but I do now and I've been getting compliments all day (they're vintage high waisted jeans I bought as a goal).

Anyway, cue me at work. It's "snack Thursday", a made up day probably created to tempt me. Someone brought in 2 different kinds of Oreos. Reese's and regular.

Fun fact: 3 cookies are 160 calories. No one eats just 3 Oreos.

Before eating any I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked at my jeans and my arms and lifted up my shirt to look at my stomach. I told myself the typical "I'm not a trash can so I won't fill myself with garbage" and went back to my desk. Later I made a giant sweet potato in the microwave and ate it with salt and pepper and oh my gosh I love sweet potatoes and I'm so full now jeebus they are so good. And it was about 130 calories. So that's how I beat Oreos today. It's a small dumb victory but I didn't know I had it in me.

I hope everyone else is having a pretty good Thursday!

[Help] Alternating ECA and Ritalin?
/u/HereIsMyThrowawayKay
Created: Thu Feb 11 10:41:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459ztl/alternating_eca_and_ritalin/
---
I've been having serious trouble focusing on anything lately, and I have, like, zero energy, and I'm afraid I'll end up eating more or something because technically food is energy (but really it's, like, body energy, and I need brain energy which comes more from stimulants). So I'm thinking of maybe alternating between ritalin and ECA... Like every other day. (I haven't started the ECA yet because I've been taking ritalin consistently.) Anyway, I feel like this might help me avoid developing too much of a tolerance to either one... Any thoughts?

i3Important SEX Datingi3
/u/mattyriley0
Created: Thu Feb 11 10:30:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459xkw/i3important_sex_datingi3/
---
https://www.reddit.com/user/bestemeid0/

[Rant] Such a waste of money.
/u/christmoose [5'6" | 121.2 lbs | 19.56 | -34lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 10:13:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459u5f/such_a_waste_of_money/
---
First of all: eating disorders are so damn weird sometimes...

Second of all: you'd think restricting would save me money... But you'd be wrong. Buying a bunch of vegetables (stocking up my fridge so I'm not at the whim of my binge at the grocery store) only to have them rot because I have to do all my eating in front of people --- money wasted. Buying a whole dozen donuts so that I can chew and spit 5 of them sitting in my car before going home and pretending I got them at work and offering the rest to my roommates --- money wasted.

Does anyone else waste money on some grade A bullshit when trying to restrict?

[Help] I was found out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 11 10:00:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459rmt/i_was_found_out/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Feeling guilty about throwing away food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 11 09:44:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459orz/feeling_guilty_about_throwing_away_food/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I binged again today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 11 09:25:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459l5u/i_binged_again_today/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 11 09:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459gns/daily_food_diary_february_11_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 11, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Tip] PSA Can't flair, on mobile
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 09:00:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459gdl/psa_cant_flair_on_mobile/
---
If you install the app 'reddit is fun', you can easily flair your posts. After submitting you just have to tap your post and tadaaa, you can flair your post!

[Tip] I just learned about a game changer and needed to immediately share it with you all: OAT FIBER!
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer [5'4" | 165lbs | -40 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 08:55:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459fg9/i_just_learned_about_a_game_changer_and_needed_to/
---
http://www1.netrition.com/lifesource_oat_fiber_page.html

[Rant] caught
/u/iwillbesmall [5'7" | 129lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 08:39:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459cgr/caught/
---
havent seen my boyfriend for almost 6 months. its been great aside from missing him. free range restricting and purging as much as i want. no ones watching my diet. im visiting him now, we went to dinner. and even like an hour after we ate i still felt so uncomfortable i had to purge just a little to get that bloat feeling away. but he heard me. and i wasnt prepared for a oh i felt a little sick, or dinner didnt set well, so when he said it sounded like you were throwing up, all i could say was im fine its nothing. but he knew i was....crap.

[Goal] SO CLOSE to my lowest adult weight
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Feb 11 08:28:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/459acb/so_close_to_my_lowest_adult_weight/
---
1.4 pounds are all that separate me from my lowest adult weight ever. I feel I don't look as good as I did last time, so for me, reaching this weight is where the real work begins.


I want to uncover my real body like an archaeologist frees beautiful treasures from the earth that smothers them--removing layer by layer, day by day until eventually those walls gleam in the light of day again. Every pound, every inch lost will be a new discovery in what I'm capable of being and doing, and I can't wait!

[Goal] I reached my first goal!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 11 08:00:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4595bm/i_reached_my_first_goal/
---
[deleted]

[Intro] A weird introduction maybe.
/u/dbishop22
Created: Thu Feb 11 07:39:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4591pi/a_weird_introduction_maybe/
---
I'm not sure I have an eating disorder. I think my issues arise from the thought of consumption, consumerism.

I'm from Alaska, I grew up deep in the woods. Everything my family did was efficient out of necessity. Furs from animals we hunted covered the walls, the floors, the beds. Fire was made from trees we cut ourselves. Meat was carefully butchered, salted and stored to cover our long winters. Bones were wrapped and tied to make broth and stews. Even the play items we possessed were treated lovingly, played with in the winter and every piece stored in its rightful place and returned to it's cupboard for another day. Clothing was sewn and re-sewn, and nice clothes were packed away into my mother's cedar chest for special events. Nothing was wasted, we were the ultimate of considerate humans. Taking nothing more then what we needed. Beautiful, simple, elegant, moral.

Then my mom moved me to the states. The first thing I see when I step off the plane was this enormous fat woman with two screaming children, sitting in an airplane restaurant in front of the largest, greasiest burger with a mound of French fries, her children throwing their various foodstuffs on the ground in their violent temper tantrums.

It was memorizing. It's was atrocious. I've never been more horrified or disgusted as I was with my very first experience with how "real" people live.

Since then, I've only become angrier and more disgusted at the compulsive waste of resources, the over indulgences of the vain ignorant masses who claim it's their right, the trash on the street, the lone woman in the hummer driving to the mall, the meaningless and forgotten excesses I'm expected to accept as normal. No one remembers what they had for breakfast, it's just not important. No one knows how to repair even the simplest of household items, it's replaceable, the old one now another piece in a growing landfill. No one even knows where their crap comes from. Slave labor. The subjugation of your own species.

Abhorrent. Repulsive.

My obsession is consumption. My continuing thinness a moral duty. My thinspo is Ghandi. My determination and will directed at changing the world.

Nice to meet you!

[Rant] Plateau triggered a binge spiral, feeling lost now. Just venting...
/u/assumngdirectcontrol [5' | 124lbs | 26 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 06:49:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/458tx6/plateau_triggered_a_binge_spiral_feeling_lost_now/
---
warning, a selfish RANT a waste of your time if you've got better things to read.

I've been 125 for a week, after averaging 2-3lbs off a week. I've been 125 for a week.

I've been on a deficit, one that should've brought me down at least one goddamn pound. Nope. 125. 125.

So I decided to say FUCK EVERYTHING and eat... oh my god, I don't even know how much food.

Plus my PTSD. I don't know how to deal with it. Food is my only "hobby" I can't write or read because I have panic attacks because mom and dad and my siblings used to make fun of me for creative outlets. why do i let the past control me.

It sounds so fucking stupid, reading it over. I have panic attacks when I try to enjoy writing or reading. Oh come the fuck on, who does that happen to, seriously? You can make an SNL skit out of that it's so fucking ridiculous.

**question for emotional eaters**--what the fuck do you do instead? I can't find any shows to enjoy, maybe it's depression stopping me? I can't afford much right now, so I've been spending my money on therapy books, so I can't afford normal books to read, therapy books are ofc triggering. What do I do instead, when it's 3 AM and I'm obsessed with killing myself? What do you do? What should I do?

I'm so fucking weak.

On the bright side, I've officially blocked my mom from calling/texting. That feels good. I'm still worried about her trying to communicate, which she can and will when it dawns on her that I'm cutting her off, but she's not that bright so I have a little peace for now.

So now I'm 127. I *know* it's water weight, and there's no way I had 7000 Calories in two days, but that number is freaking me out. I'm fat, so I've got a long way to do, I can't afford any more setbacks.

OH! Has anyone tried **Insanity** ? I just DL'd it because I'm tired of biking for cardio, and it's too cold out for running. (High of -9F predicted for Saturday... glorious. :| )

**EDIT** I did insanity for 20 minutes and started crying like a child. I'm sure this will go better next time, I won't give up. :' ) I'll report back in a month.

good morning everyone. If you read this, thank you. writing this has helped me not pull my hair out, and knowing I have this community helps.

[Discussion] FitBit!
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 146lbs | 22.7 | 34lbs | ]
Created: Thu Feb 11 06:49:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/458tu1/fitbit/
---
So FitBit offers the whole challenges "game" and they've always been incredibly fun and seriously motivating for the competitive, but all the FitBit users I know how stopped bothering with it, so I was wondering if any of you guys wanted to join in at all for the sake of motivation and doing as much as possible.

Also you can delete this if it shouldn't be here.

[Intro] I'm no good with introductions...
/u/anordinarypenguin [5'2''|118|21.58|-17.8|F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 06:26:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/458qoq/im_no_good_with_introductions/
---
...But I'm a long-time redditor and I've been lurking here a while. I've been doing fantastic lately, except for these past couple of days since Mother Earth decided to grace her presence upon my vagina.

So I'm going on a liquid fast today. Only drinking coffee, water and wine. Wish me luck?

[(:](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/f5/c2/a2/f5c2a2c83667bfe309680ba95d884a0a.jpg)

[Rant] Anxiety around blood-sugar?
/u/lifetc
Created: Thu Feb 11 06:22:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/458q50/anxiety_around_bloodsugar/
---
I've been thinking a lot about how for pretty much all my childhood, my Mom would go around every day swinging wildly from one mood to another, turning totally rage in a moment, then crying the next, then happy after that, and would always, rather than apologise, talk about how it was her blood sugar. Every single time. Then she'd eat a few bowls of cereal and everything would be fine.

I've been working really hard to figure out triggers for things like binges, and I'm realising just how much any time I feel pretty much anything negative I have this reflex of thinking that it's to do with fucking blood sugar levels. Which is insane. And when you mix that with, I don't know, depression, wanting to put on a happy face for everyone, it's just, murgh. I hate it.

I don't know if anyone else gets kind of hyper-neurotic around trying to micromanage their glucose levels, their moods, etc? Murgh. Fucking people.

[Goal] Mini-introduction & reaching my first goal!
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 97.0 | 17.66 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 05:46:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/458l64/miniintroduction_reaching_my_first_goal/
---
I know I've been posting/commenting furiously here for almost a week already, but I thought I'd write a tiny intro anyhow.

I've been dealing with my EDNOS (or whatever they call it now) for~5 years. I've been in and out of recovery three times now, and every time I 'recovered', I'd gain so much weight that I'd give in and relapse. This is, another one of those times. But it feels different, and better.

I love this subreddit. I love you guys, here and on the kik chat, because of how supportive and understanding you are. I love the new bmi calculator (hah) for putty my healthy weight range lower. Basically, I'm so greatful that this sub even exists, never mind is as active as it is!

That being said, I'm celebrating for practically reaching my first goal! I wanted to be 102lbs by valentine's day, (for, you know.... dates.... and stuff) so i'd have to lose 1.8lbs in a week, which isnt a big deal, but i didnt trust myself. Well my new scale arrived last night (which i looove btw) and I'm 102.2 this morning! Even if there's still a measly .2 hanging on still, I feel so surprised that I reached this goal early, when every day last week I was fucking up to over 1000 cals.

Next goal: 100lbs. Wish me luck guys, i love you all!

[Discussion] Honestly, I feel like such a freak.
/u/beadsofjade [5'4 | nah | 24 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 05:22:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/458i4o/honestly_i_feel_like_such_a_freak/
---
I don't know about anyone else but, when I get into binge mode, I get panicky because thinking about the numbers just stresses me out. I've chugged a shitload of water and my stomach hurts so bad and I feel bloated but I still want food and I'm freaking out.

It's a good thing there isn't actually any food in my apartment or I'd be done for.

Does anyone else get like this or am I just a weirdo?

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support February 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 11 05:02:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/458fvs/weekly_emotional_support_february_11_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.

^Thanks ^to ^/u/InTheGecko ^for ^the ^concept ^of ^this ^weekly ^post!

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant] Does your mood influence your cravings & hunger?
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 11 03:17:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4584uq/does_your_mood_influence_your_cravings_hunger/
---
So most of this week has been crappy, I was feeling pretty low at the start (bad self esteem). But today happened to be a good day, I got on well with my mother and we went shopping.

At the start of the week I was feeling really bingey and so much self-hatred, and on the day I feel good about myself I have no hunger.. I feel so much more in control when there is an absence of negativity in my mind.


I mean, in the past I started restricting because of how awful my life was, and I usually ate when I was happy-ish, or at least numb.

Are any of you like this? I should probably start faking confidence so I can feel good about myself and I'll find it easier to restrict. But most of the time my confidence and anxiety are awful!

Also, it probably helps when I was with my mum I had a strong, sickly coffee which has suppressed my appetite. I've found coffee can make me feel either positive or really anxious.

[Rant] So last night I ate, and ate, and ate
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Feb 10 23:33:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/457ikb/so_last_night_i_ate_and_ate_and_ate/
---
I didn't even enjoy any of it, could barely taste it. I was just shoving it all in my mouth. Today I will make up for it, and maybe it's time to go on laxatives again. I feel like I need them.

[Discussion] Stupid question about thinspo and body dysmorphia
/u/hpsterscum [5'3 | 132.4 | 23.5 | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 23:11:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/457g3t/stupid_question_about_thinspo_and_body_dysmorphia/
---
So I have BED but I think I have a pretty good idea of what I look like. My question is for those of you who have a BMI below 18 (which is the majority from the flairs I am seeing). Do you look at thinspo here and think those girls look better/skinnier than you? The thinspo albums I see posted here for the most part feature girls who are thin but don't look emaciated. Maybe 15-18 BMI? So many of you here are _already_ that thin. How do you feel looking at thinspo? Do you compare it to your own body and how so?

Sorry if this question is rude. Please remove if necessary!

[Rant] I am declaring war on trail mix.
/u/trampledherbage [5'3" | CW: 99 | 18.02 | GW: 93 LW: -16 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 23:03:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/457eyd/i_am_declaring_war_on_trail_mix/
---
Why is it that the food I have exactly zero self control around has some of the most calorie-dense constituent components? Between the nuts and the dried fruit and _heaven forbid_ the peanut m&m's, it's easily a few thousand calories in a binge.

I need to slow myself down and think about what I'm doing before I shovel cashews into my face like it's the last time I'll see them.

Do you guys have any foods like this, in the presence of which you are helpless?

Edit: that dangling participle had to go.

[Help] Weird interaction with my bff?
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 100.5 lb | 19.04 | -19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 22:48:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/457d3k/weird_interaction_with_my_bff/
---
To preface this, my bff is 5'1 and says she weighs 100, but as I get closer and closer to that number I'm beginning to think she weighs closer to 90. Maybe even 80. I know weights look different on different people, but she is too tiny to weigh what she says she does.

Anyways, tonight we had a club meeting for a school club we're both in. Since I worked in the peach orchard all day and was still at 100 calories for the day, I got two slices of club-provided pizza. After the meeting she came up to me and asked if I had any pizza, and I was like "yeah... 2 slices" and she started celebrating and talking about how proud she was of me... I asked why and she just gave me this 'well duh' look and said "you know why!" and walked away.

I'm still confused about her motives... Do you think she suspects my ED? Does she not want me to be as skinny as she is?

[Rant] When it fits, but you look like shit
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 20:39:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/456uy2/when_it_fits_but_you_look_like_shit/
---
Last time I was this weight, I was a size 6. Now I'm a 4 in the hips and bust -- and a 12 in the waist. This is so depressing. I don't know what to do to change my proportions. :/ everything looks ridiculous on me.

[Help] Lunch/Snack Suggestions For School?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 10 19:43:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/456lvu/lunchsnack_suggestions_for_school/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What are the effects of purging extremely infrequently?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -20 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 18:43:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/456c9r/what_are_the_effects_of_purging_extremely/
---
Hi everyone! So my lunch date at the burger place didn't exactly go as planned... I ended up purging for the second time this year. That's not too bad, I don't feel very guilty about it, but I'm still curious about what the short and long term effects might be.

I know purging is extremely dangerous if you do it often, but what about purging infrequently? I'm talking about maybe once every other month.

[Rant] I can't break this cycle!
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Wed Feb 10 18:24:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45699a/i_cant_break_this_cycle/
---
I hate this pattern that I fall into! I have been restricting and I have almost lost 20 pounds (fluctuates between 14-17) since January first. Today, I stepped on the scale and saw that I had hit the 20 pound mark! Then I ate breakfast, and I suddenly couldn't stop eating. I binged on everything in my fridge. Now, I am sitting in my living room with a cramping stomach and tears. I seriously can't stop! I don't know why, but whenever I see that I am making progress, I binge and all my progress becomes undone! I hate myself and I hate that scale!!

[Help] Fainting and constant dizziness??
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 138 | 25.12 | -42 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 16:54:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/455uiu/fainting_and_constant_dizziness/
---
I'm by no means anywhere close to underweight and I eat at least 500-800 calories everyday and take vitamins etc etc but I've been fainting almost everyday. I had to leave work early today because I almost fainted/threw up because I bent over too fast (thx Mia).

I'm bruising super easily and constantly light headed and I sleep at least 10-12 hours everyday. Is this because of restricting or am I dying and should see a doctor?

My heart rate is generally around 80-110 and my blood pressure last week was 98/54. I also can't take showers because I will faint so I've been taking baths instead.

Just wanted to know if anyone has suggestions on how to feel better :/

[Rant] "Oh wow, that's the most I've ever seen you eat!"
/u/heywaitformenonotyou
Created: Wed Feb 10 15:32:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/455g4g/oh_wow_thats_the_most_ive_ever_seen_you_eat/
---
So work today was basically a never ending food frenzy, we had a bunch of samples coming in from suppliers and a huge King Cake for Mardi Gras. I planned out my day so that I could indulge in some sweet potato fries and King Cake as basically my bulk of calories for the day and tried to eat like a normal person who isn't terrified of all the food in front of her. I nibbled on bits of King Cake throughout the day, probably amounting to two pieces total. I just went to take a small piece when my male coworker looked at me and said, "Wow (name), today has been the most I've seen you eat!"

And then started to list all the things he saw me eat.

I spit out the bite of cake I had in my mouth into a napkin in front of him, which probably makes me look like a crazy person, but his notice of me eating "more" makes me want to throw up. He said it was a compliment, like he was impressed to see me eat like that because I normally don't. To me, it just feels like failure.

[Rant] Why does everything always happen at once?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 10 14:37:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4555nc/why_does_everything_always_happen_at_once/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Anyone here watch the Shannara Chronicles? Poppy Drayton plays 'Amberle' in the series and it makes for some great thinspo.
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 126 | 18.27 | -14 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 13:30:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/454suz/anyone_here_watch_the_shannara_chronicles_poppy/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ZNOuP

[Discussion] Does anyone else not have an exercise routine?
/u/swissmissx [Height: 5'8 | CW: 127 | Weight Lost: -20 | Gender: F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 12:52:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/454lq8/does_anyone_else_not_have_an_exercise_routine/
---
I've literally never stepped foot in a gym. All I do is walk quite a bit, but I don't count that as proper exercise regimens like it seems a lot of people here have. Anyone else?

[Goal] Week+ Mega Water Fast Day 3
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Wed Feb 10 11:55:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/454b11/week_mega_water_fast_day_3/
---
So today is day three of my fast.

[Link to Day 2](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44y94s/week_mega_water_fast_day_2/)

These posts are here to chronicle this fast and my thoughts and experiences and for me to hold myself accountable. If they need to stop, please say so.

So yesterday, I managed to get the kitchen clean without eating by pouring dawn all over everything, but it took all my will power to do it.

I also had to drink some pickle juice for electrolytes, as I was feeling very dizzy and had a headache as if I were dehydrated even though I had plenty of water. That got me feeling right again, and it was 0 calories (the jar says the pickles are 0 cal, so the juice *has* to be, right?).

My wife came home and asked me if I had eaten anything and I told her no. She reiterated her position on "if I become anorexic" (thanks, babe). So I told her I would be breaking it today.

#News Flash: Not Happening

I'm gonna see this thing through to the end. Nothing is derailing me.

Anyway, I've reached the point that I'm having food hallucinations. I **swear** I could taste and feel the texture of spicy boiled jumbo shrimp in my mouth when nothing but estrogen and water had passed my lips today. Also, literally every smell smells horrible, idk why.

My coworker brought in a breakfast burrito and MY GOD THE EGG NEARLY KILLED ME. MY BODY WANTED IT SO BAD!!!

But I'm good. Until tomorrow, I have to cook a dish for an entree for a team potluck Friday. I got drafted. I'm gonna make something I don't have to taste to make sure it's done right.

Until tomorrow, stay thin!

[Tip] Unexpected motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 10 11:37:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4547jh/unexpected_motivation/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Scale woes
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 10 11:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45457j/scale_woes/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Cauliflower is a great rice substitute
/u/DisorderAlt
Created: Wed Feb 10 10:49:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/453y8j/cauliflower_is_a_great_rice_substitute/
---
Just break it apart, remove the stems and put it into a food processor until its grainy. You can cook it a bit in a pan afterwards, but I prefer it raw. Here are some [Maki](https://imgur.com/SSWJf4N) I made with it today, they were great! Best part is, of cause, only 25 calories per 100 grams vs the 130 of cooked rice.

Find girl for sŠµex without commitment
/u/nichellca94661
Created: Wed Feb 10 10:37:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/453vui/find_girl_for_sŠµex_without_commitment/
---
http://xdesire.ga/Mnelv

[Discussion] Lent plans?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 09:15:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/453g7e/lent_plans/
---
I'm not Catholic but I like the idea of challenging myself to commit to something for 40 days. In addition to [40 bags in 40 days](https://www.facebook.com/whitehouseblackshutters/photos/a.493771817134.265764.193642362134/10153364002347135/?type=3&theater) I want to add another challenge. Even something as small as "drink x ozs of water every day" or "take my supplements every morning" (I'm terrible at both these things). Do you have any Lent plans?

[Goal] holy shit / what now / 2 non-selfie selfies
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 10 09:06:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/453eo9/holy_shit_what_now_2_nonselfie_selfies/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 10 09:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/453dxr/daily_food_diary_february_10_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 10, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Anyone else get extremely tired or lethargic after eating?
/u/LiteralMangina [5'7" | 100lbs | 15.61 | -25 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 08:17:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4535s9/anyone_else_get_extremely_tired_or_lethargic/
---
My safe foods are oatmeal w/ protein powder, protein powder by itself, grapes, bananas, and 1tbsp of peanut butter max (I've eaten it every day since I was two and a half so I can't give it up, I'm literally addicted). Any time I eat something other than those foods I get so lethargic, even if it's a small amount and not a binge. It feels like I'm moving through molasses.

Usually it's from fries and mayo at work, more than 2tbsp of peanut butter, or a pastry at home. The only common denominators I can think of are feeling guilty, high processed sugar, processed food, and high carbs (even though all my safe foods have more than 15g of carbs), and feeling full (it only takes a banana to feel full but the fullness feeling from safe foods and fruits/veg not on my safe list doesn't feel the same. Not sure if that's a psychological thing or a nutrition thing).

Also, does anyone know if anorexia or malnutrition can lead to diabetes? I have many of the symptoms. I never ate healthy growing up (I didn't eat nearly as much as anyone else my age but the things I would eat would be bread products, peanut butter, bananas, and anything deep fried). As a teen I would eat a LOT of sugary cereal and chips, just not enough to bring my weight higher than 125. Some days I'd do nothing but snack straight from the box of lucky charms or cinnamon toast crunch, or a big bag of Cheetos. Point is, growing up I had a high sugar and high carb diet and I've heard that can lead to diabetes. I'm not worried about having diabetes or anything, just curious.

[Goal] A goal of a measly ONE pound by Monday...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 10 08:03:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4533kr/a_goal_of_a_measly_one_pound_by_monday/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Scale troubles
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 135 lbs | 20.30 | -28 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 07:43:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4530c9/scale_troubles/
---
So this morning my scale finally showed me back at 143.6, which was awesome. I had bounced up to 144 for a few days and it was frustrating as hell.

I had read on here about how new scales jump to the most recent recorded weight rather than re-evaluating each time, so I pulled the battery out and stepped on it again to double-check. This time: 148.8.

I tried again: 145.7

I tried again: 143.6

Soooooo was it just re-calibrating or?

Also, what scale do you guys use? Is there some brilliantly perfect exact best-scale-in-the-world I could get to remove this anxiety that I'm not losing at all and my scale is just wack?

[Thinspo] Thinspo for today: Marzia Bisognin (13 images)
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 06:28:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/452odd/thinspo_for_today_marzia_bisognin_13_images/
---
http://imgur.com/a/lJBJJ

[Intro] Hi Everyone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 10 06:27:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/452o9k/hi_everyone/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Fasting today!
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 124.4 | 21.77 | -35lbs. | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 06:25:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/452nya/fasting_today/
---
I hope you are all having a better morning than me. I've gained weight two days in a row. I know it's not food, because I logged 656 cal one day and 407 cal the other. Even if I underestimated my calories in, there's no way I gained weight. However, I'm apparently a bloated mess, so I'm doing a 24 hour liquid fast. Anyone want to join me? I'm having one vegan protein drink at 150 cal sometime today, but other than that just tea/coffee/water. My husband works all day then has to go to a funeral tonight, so I have the whole day to myself. I'll keep this post updated with my progress, and I'd love to hear from anyone else fasting today!

[Rant] I really want to cry
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Feb 10 02:04:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/451uuf/i_really_want_to_cry/
---
I hit a BMI of 20.5 yesterday and today my boss finally had the pants I need to wear at work. And guess what, they were a size 36, these clothes are like 10x bigger than a normal 36 and they didn't zip.. They fucking didn't zip. I want to hit something.

[Discussion] In an ideal world, what would your life be like?
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 58.8kg | 21.6 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 01:20:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/451qje/in_an_ideal_world_what_would_your_life_be_like/
---
My therapist asked me this recently and I had absolutely no answer other than 'slim'. Now I'm curious... What do you guys *want* your life to be like?

[Rant] I ate so much & I am still so hungry
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 10 00:53:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/451nqn/i_ate_so_much_i_am_still_so_hungry/
---
I've been doing so good the past week. I fasted for about 43 hours, then only ate very little to break the fast. I got down to the lowest weight I've been in at least 1,5 years (46kg), and was only about 700 grams away from my first goal. Then I fucked up. I got so hungry and so mad at myself for being hungry that that somehow made it easier to give into the hunger. I probably ate about 1400 kcal last night, not including the Ā±300 from dinner. I'm so fucking mad at myself and really scared to weigh myself. And the worst part is, I'm still hungry. I guess the fasting has made my appetite go insane but I don't know how to stop it. I'd exercise but, despite having eaten so fucking much, I still have such bad hunger pains that I don't know if I can. Fuck.

[Rant] I gave myself a little slack and abused it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 9 23:56:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/451hzm/i_gave_myself_a_little_slack_and_abused_it/
---
I hit a new low. Sometimes that triggers a binge (for some fucked up reason), but it didn't. But I still overate. I had a mug full for goldfish crackers and a few pieces of string cheese in addition to my 600 for the day. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it is. Especially since I didn't exercise today. I could have stopped myself and that stupid fat-logic brain said I can have it since I'm ahead of my projected weight loss schedule.

No. Just no. Fat logic is how I got where I am and at my highest weight. I'm so fucking close to the 120s and yet I can't seem to grasp how important it is to not mess up.

In the long run, today won't matter. But I'm always terrified today will trigger tomorrow and then the week and so on.

Not only did I overeat, but it was with shit food. My family eats the standard American diet. And since I live with them, I'm surrounded by all the foods that brought me to my highest weight. I have at least 20 more pounds I need to lose and I need to work for it.

Also, my goal was to hit 127 by the end of the month for a trip to Seattle. The trip has been postponed until the end of March and I think let loose a bit knowing my goal was pushed out a few extra weeks. But now I need to reach at least 123 by then at the bare minimum.

In better news, I bought a Fitbit Flex. They're half-price on Groupon and I had some credit, so it should be here within the week. I'm hoping it'll give me that extra push, but we'll see.



[Rant] Reached a new low, even for me.
/u/kikilibertine [5'7"| 148 | 23.1 | -17 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 23:34:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/451faz/reached_a_new_low_even_for_me/
---
I bought my friend (who is also a colleague at work) some chocolate as a surprise birthday present. I've told myself that it's all for her and I bought myself some healthy snacks to keep myself occupied so I wasn't tempted to binge.

Four hours later and I've eaten two small blocks of chocolate intended for her, so I need to go the shop to buy more. I hate the fact that I can't control myself and turn into a pig at the first thought of it. I have to keep an empty fridge and almost empty pantry (only keep staples for cooking because the only thing that trumps binges is being too lazy to cook).

Who the hell eats a present intended for somebody else? I feel ashamed and so awful. She would never know, but I do and I'm not proud at all.

[Rant] Angry that I ate food today
/u/sunkindonut149
Created: Tue Feb 9 22:35:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4517ow/angry_that_i_ate_food_today/
---
Today, I tried to do a hard water fast and wasn't able to do it without breaking down and eating. My roommate brought home a head of cabbage today so I had salad. I couldn't do it. I'm always doomed to be a fat piece of shit.

I don't like it when people bring me food. I don't want it. Especially things that are perishable.

Anyone else here over age 30 and always feeling weak and without energy because they have never been as thin as they are now?

[Discussion] Going on a lunch date with a friend tomorrow... really nervous.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -20 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 20:52:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/450t1a/going_on_a_lunch_date_with_a_friend_tomorrow/
---
He picked a burger place, off all things. Now burgers I can be reasonable about, they're not my favorite thing in the world. But fries are my absolute weakness. Curly fries, straight fries, shoestring, they're all so delicious. Filled with carbs and nasty, artery clogging fat, I must remind myself. But gosh are they tasty.

[Discussion] No scale?
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 18:32:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/45071n/no_scale/
---
I don't own a scale. I never did. I measure myself and track that so I know I'm making progress, but I never weigh myself. I'm afraid I'll become obsessed if I ever own a scale and I've had enough problems with anxiety. Any others out here that do so?

[Goal] I PASSED
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 110.6 | 16.63 | -34 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 17:52:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4500ln/i_passed/
---
I had this awful anxiety provoking thing to do but I PASSED IT. In fact, I had planned to eat before, but I was so scared I completely forgot! To celebrate my success, I'm going to keep fasting today until 24hr. I thought of all of you when they said I was done, because you've helped me stay strong and destress so much <3.

[Help] I was prescribed Latuda
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 150lbs|23.53|-34.5lbs|F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 16:34:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44znpc/i_was_prescribed_latuda/
---
This is my 5th or 6th medication, and I'm hoping this one works...they have all "worked," but the side effects or amplification of the others has been unbearable. Most notable over all medication is weight gain. It makes me so apathetic that I eat just to feel. Even if that feeling is sick.

Anyone on this medication have any story, advise or tips? Any experience would be appreciated. I gained over 50 lbs from 2010 to 2013 and have fought to get it off at less than 10 lbs a year always back and forth. I quit my meds in December and the weight has fallen off. I don't want to start gaining it back.

[Discussion] where in the world is carmen sandiego?
/u/eatlilbird [5'3" | 137lb | 24.6 | -10lb | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 16:25:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44zm9o/where_in_the_world_is_carmen_sandiego/
---
New here, just curious what part of the world everyone is from. I'm from the prairies in Canada.

[Thinspo] A few paragraphs from a male-anorexia book I'm writing.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Tue Feb 9 15:19:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44zb8u/a_few_paragraphs_from_a_maleanorexia_book_im/
---
http://imgur.com/GOIb1UN,HI0k6mh,xOSgG5w

[Discussion] How many of you are cigarette smokers?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer [5'4" | 165lbs | -40 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 15:19:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44zb6z/how_many_of_you_are_cigarette_smokers/
---
It's disgusting and expensive and I fucking hate myself for it, but I'm just not ready to give it up. I always need some kind of self-abusive thing to do. I hoped that as the ED ramped up, it would be enough but honestly it's just giving me even more reason not to quit.

[Help] One meal a day? Snacking?
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 155 | 19.9 | -53 | M]
Created: Tue Feb 9 14:42:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44z4p2/one_meal_a_day_snacking/
---
I'm having a hard time staying under my calorie limit with two meals a day (which I sorta need to do for appearances sake). I'm considering switching to one meal a day (which would be with coworkers... Social obligation) and then snacking before my evening workout (as opposed to sharing a meal with my friends/roommates).

Does anyone have any experience doing just one real meal a day? And what would be some good evening snacks to replace dinner? Trail mix? Salmon and eggs?

[Discussion] Anybody else watching My Diet is Better Than Yours? Here's ep. 1
/u/acadavia [5'3"| 90.6 | 16.01 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 14:24:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44z1cf/anybody_else_watching_my_diet_is_better_than/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzxaFRv0Y1k

[Help] Bought 12.5mg of Bronchial Asthma ephedrine, how much do I take every day and how do I know when it starts working?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 9 14:16:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44yzs3/bought_125mg_of_bronchial_asthma_ephedrine_how/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Fuck recovery
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 9 13:06:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ymdq/fuck_recovery/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] my first goal!
/u/dogfucker_420 [5'6" | 125 | 20.26 | -35# | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 12:23:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ye4f/my_first_goal/
---
ive weighed in at 125 for a few days now, so I know its not just water weight. more importantly, i guess i gained an inch as well?? i went to the clinic and they took my height/weight.

i lost an inch on my thighs, my waist, and my hips!! there is this black dress i own and it couldnt zip up past my boobs-but now it zips all the way!

i havent been 125lbs since my first year of high school. what an amazing feeling.



[Goal] Week+ Mega Water Fast Day 2
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Tue Feb 9 11:57:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44y94s/week_mega_water_fast_day_2/
---
So today is day two of my fast.

[Link to Day 1](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44sc1b/week_mega_water_fast_day_1/)

These posts are here to chronicle this fast and my thoughts and experiences and for me to hold myself accountable. If they need to stop, please say so.

So yesterday after I got off work I went rollerblading at my local rink because it was $1 night if you bring your own skates.

I'm proud to report that with my BMR and 0 intake, my TDEE would have been around **3500 cal or 1lb**!

This is amazing and makes me feel so good, and I can see the difference. This is carrying me through this collapsing feeling I have in my abdomen and my cubicle-mate who insists on shoving food and soft drinks under my face. (I'm sure he suspects I have an ED and it's really easy to say no to him anyway.) He thinks I'm crazy (this is the same one that doesn't understand thermodynamics) and has threatened to buy me food, but whatever, he doesn't press to hard and it's mostly teasing.

I'm at the point now where I may have to start lying about what I'm eating though because the missus might start to notice the repetitive fast with no breaking. If she finds out?

Oh well. She's made her thoughts on the matter clear. (If you're thinking of that one post from Saturday, you'd be right)

Anyway, on to using the smells in the break room as fuel for my control.

Until tomorrow, stay thin!

[Help] Doctor's visit
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Tue Feb 9 11:10:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xzid/doctors_visit/
---
So I went to my doctor to see where my testosterone levels are after being on hrt for a few months.

And I forgot that she checks blood levels and electrolytes and things. I got my blood results, and my potassium is very low. And my blood results from July and November also have very low potassium.

I'm nervous about whether she'll ask about it. I told myself I just wouldn't purge, but I don't think I can stick to that.

Would eating potassium rich foods ahead of the appointment make enough of a difference?

My levels have been around 2.8-3.2 mmol/L. Not yet a super big problem.

[Rant] Oh, just one of those days where I'm carrying my scale's battery in my pocket
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 9 11:07:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xyxx/oh_just_one_of_those_days_where_im_carrying_my/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] When your clothes are becoming too big for you!
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 117.8 lbs | 21.5 | -13.8 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 11:03:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xy88/when_your_clothes_are_becoming_too_big_for_you/
---
So I've lost roughly 12 pounds now (I'm 120.0). I feel like when I look in the mirror, my body doesn't LOOK any different than when I was 131.6. and unfortunately I don't have a "before" picture because at first, losing weight wasn't intentional. I initially just got super depressed and stopped eating, and just figured to keep going because it felt good.

So, my body looks the same. Yesterday my friend took a couple sexy pictures of me, and I put on corsets (from AdoreMe... love them!) that I normally fit into perfectly before, I had the strings in the back all adjusted and everything. Well when I put them on, they were so loose on me that I could actually spin them around my body. I tightened the strings on the corset all the way, and it was a BIT loose around the waist, and definitely still not tight enough around my boobs. There was some cleavage but not as much there because they weren't being pushed together by the corset. I actually had to safety-pin the back of them. I don't think I've lost MUCH boob mass if any because I still fit into my bras (34C), but on a tighter notch so I'm thinking most of the weight lost so far was around the ribcage area. All the corsets are medium sizes... so I guess it's time to start ordering smalls!

I wanted to wear a nice flattering form fitting shirt the other night, and all my hollister and abercrombie shirts which were a size small are now very loose on me, especially around the back "waist" area. They don't form fit around my waist anymore. Guess I'm back to a size extra small which I haven't been in 4-5 years!

All my size 5 skinny jeans from hollister which used to fit tightly around my legs and butt are now a tad baggy, and definitely loose around the hips.

I don't think I'm going to purchase ANY new clothes (besides small corsets since that's the lowest size regardless) until I'm around 100-110. I'll have to live with semi-baggy clothes for a bit. It's relieving to see the difference in how they fit, but it also sucks to have nothing form-fitting for a while. But hey, I can't complain. I'm kind of excited.

Anyone else get excited when this happens?!

[Thinspo] My personal thinspo album, pictures saved from various places, some may have shown up here before (20 images)
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 10:34:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xsux/my_personal_thinspo_album_pictures_saved_from/
---
http://imgur.com/a/CPYwT

[Discussion] You're all wonderful and I love you.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 10:06:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xncd/youre_all_wonderful_and_i_love_you/
---
I just wanted to write this out.

I struggle. With everything. My mother passed down horrendous anxiety and depression and I've spent all of my life fighting it and losing. It got exponentially worse when I moved far away from home.

And then I find this place. To an outside view my initial reaction was to grimace at the idea of a pro-eating disorder group. How revolting, right?

But this community has been so good to me. Hearing other's stories and writing out my food diary and I've even started submitting my stats to the weekly thread.

I finally feel normal.

I don't panic and cry over a slice of pizza because of how many times I've seen others say *"it's okay, it'll be okay."* This subreddit has hugely impacted my behavior and thought process.

I can voice my frustration about having a whole 1000 calories and not be judged, I can say I feel fat and not be told I'm wrong.

It's weirdly therapeutic.

You are all so supportive and kind to one another and I can't say I've seen the levels of compassion and empathy anywhere else online.

You're all precious songbirds and I love you ā™„ ā™„ ā™„

[Discussion] Healthy food to binge on?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Feb 9 10:06:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xnbc/healthy_food_to_binge_on/
---
Hey, does anyone know some better options for things like candy, ice cream and chips? I would love if I could binge on that instead.

[Help] Anxious about the weekend
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 96,8 | 16,3| -31,2 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 09:47:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xjv8/anxious_about_the_weekend/
---
So, next weekend is my sister's baby's namegiving party and I go to stay with my parents. I have to go on Friday and I'm back at Sunday, so there's at least Saturday when I need to eat quite a lot more than what I'd like.On Friday and Sunday I probably can avoid somehow even some meals, but the calorie count will still be significantly higher on those days. I try to, of course, eat as little as possible, but I really don't want to my parents start worrying.

But now I don't know how to prepare. I'm trying to decide if I should fast - but then I don't have the energy to exercise(or perhaps I'm just lazy). I could also eat about 550 kcals per day and work out more than an hour.. or maybe I should try to restrict more and exercise? I need to do *something* to minimize the damage the weekend will bring.

And any tips on how to avoid eating/giving the impression of eating are very welcome!

[Help] [help] Uncontrollably gaining weight even though I'm at a deficit?
/u/weld_me_up_sexy
Created: Tue Feb 9 09:43:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xj53/help_uncontrollably_gaining_weight_even_though_im/
---
So I'm bulimic and I'm always eating at a deficit. Usually I eat 1200 calories, but when factoring in my exercise, I could probably eat 2000 and maintain my weight. But lately I've just been packing on the pounds which is making me **freak out**. I was already overweight to begin with and now I'm getting so fat I'm just embarrassed. I don't know what to do and I'm so desperate at this point.

[Discussion] I want control
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 9 09:27:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xfyx/i_want_control/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] Today I am high on restriction & wanted to share a bit of twisted humor.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 09:24:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xfg7/today_i_am_high_on_restriction_wanted_to_share_a/
---
Here I sit. I've been doing unbelievably well with food. I can't even believe myself. I attribute it to exercise and the kickboxing class I signed up for. I have to a)not binge so I can keep up with the class and b) only eat nutrient dense foods so I can keep up with the class. I stay at a calorie deficit because of all the exercise but manage to eat enough to stay alert throughout my busy day. I have been battling a Dunkin donuts binge for about 5 days now. I spend a lot of moments fantasizing about getting a dozen donuts and sitting alone savoring them. But I haven't. And I don't plan to.

Here I sit, empty from minimal eating and sore from working out. I'm energized and excited and light. I'm thinking about donuts, but with the knowledge that I won't binge, not the awful feeling that it is inevitable.

Okay, so as I write all this, and think all this, and sit right next to my backpack containing my ED journal full of horrific thoughts and drawings and motivation, and my ED related novel (it Was Me All Along by Andie Mitchell) and scroll /r/Proed and /r/thinspo....I'm doing it all from the desk of my psychology research lab for Eating Disorders at a prestigious university. My colleagues, professor, and grad students are sitting all around me and have no idea. What an ironic, double life. To work at a job where we are striving toward helping people overcome ED while I secretly obsess over mine between tasks and phone calls.

Sometimes I look around and note other people in the lab that must have EDs too. I can just tell by their weight, their thin hair, the perfectionism, the weight changes, the puffiness. The rough days, the manic days.

I feel like I work in an ED lab full of ED patients and it's comical if I don't think too hard about it.

Do any of you live a surprising double life? Or notice other ED individuals out in the world?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 9 09:02:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44xbln/daily_food_diary_february_09_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 09, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Is my bingeing because of a metabolic disbalance?
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 114 | BMI 17 | -11 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 08:00:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44x0wq/is_my_bingeing_because_of_a_metabolic_disbalance/
---
I do have self control, I know that isn't an issue. I can starve for days, no problem. But I have to eat because of people. Lately, I can't stop eating, I'm like a shark with blood thirst. Three days of non stop bingeing. Are these signs of my body giving up? It's way of recovering? If so, is there a way I can balance out my body's needs without eating excessively? Thanks x

[Discussion] How often do you guys weigh yourselves?
/u/pointmass [5'6" | 108.4 lbs | 17.47 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 07:34:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44wwtx/how_often_do_you_guys_weigh_yourselves/
---
My weight has been stagnant for a long time and it's discouraging to see it on the scale... How often do you weigh yourself?

[Goal] Almost ate some chocolate but then...
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Tue Feb 9 06:54:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44wr0u/almost_ate_some_chocolate_but_then/
---
I saw [this commercial](https://youtu.be/OrHMV7Bb8gw) and wrapped it back up. It's sitting in my room on a shelf now. I don't want anything but coffee. Get free lovelies <3

[Help] I hit a goal today
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Feb 9 05:12:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44we09/i_hit_a_goal_today/
---
I hit my first GW of 135 Lb, coming with a BMI of 20.5.. My brain has been craving crisps a lot, how do I keep myself from going out to buy a bag? God, I want them, so bad.

[Help] Mega-binged - how do you pick yourself up after?
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 9 04:03:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44w62g/megabinged_how_do_you_pick_yourself_up_after/
---
Thank you for all your lovely messages about my birthday. I ended up mega binging - I can't work out/don't want to really think about how many calories, but probably over 4000 - and purging. But it's okay - I just have to get back on track today. A 1lb gain would be annoying, because it takes me a long time to lose 1lb, but it's not the end of the world - I just have to get my head down and carry on.

I feel gross, though. I love the feeling of being empty and cold and quiet that you get from restriction. My head hurts from alcohol and I am puffy all over, and warm. How do you care for yourself in these situations? I want to feel better, me again. I feel so sad and anxious and I don't know, I just want cuddles and someone to cry against.


[Thinspo] Dance through this week with discipline! Here's some motivation :)
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 122.4lbs | 19.1 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 23:36:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44veic/dance_through_this_week_with_discipline_heres/
---
http://imgur.com/a/YzKqp

[Help] I think my TDEE is lower than calculators say
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 8 22:54:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44v9hj/i_think_my_tdee_is_lower_than_calculators_say/
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[deleted]

[Rant] I feel so ridiculously disgusting. (rant/intro?)
/u/beadsofjade [5'4 | nah | 24 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 22:15:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44v4ht/i_feel_so_ridiculously_disgusting_rantintro/
---
A little over two weeks ago, I decided to stop my disgusting eating habits (eating fast food everyday, binging on snacks, drinking too much alcohol) and get back into the game. No more than 500 calories a day. This isn't my first time down this road, but I have to say that I missed it. I was almost forced into a hospital when I was 16, which scared me into eating like a "normal" person. But I'm an adult now. I'm smarter about hiding it and I can't be forced into anything.

Besides, which is worse? Overloading myself with junk and feeling gross all the time or starving myself and feeling a thousand times better?

I was doing really good until recently. In the past 3 days alone, I've had 2 huge bacon cheeseburgers and more Dr. Pepper than I care to even admit. My stomach has felt like hell since yesterday. I feel like such a fat lard and I want to fucking die. Uggghhhh. Tomorrow will be better. A new day is a clean slate. That's the one thing I can always look forward to.

On a happier note, this is my first post here after lurking for quite awhile and I'm so so so so glad I found this subreddit. It's really nice knowing I'm not a freak.

[Rant] This is tmi and totally wierd
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 109 | 18.35 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 21:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44uujz/this_is_tmi_and_totally_wierd/
---
I haven't updated my weight or anything because I still don't trust anything. And I've been misbehaving. I am really confused between what I can believe the scale says and what it all accounts for but I still can't trust it. The only thing I came here to sort of anonymously splurge is that I'm actually okay that I have the so called "shits". Haha. Yay less mass less fluid less shit less weight. Thank you drunkness. Sorry I'm gross.

[Rant] Was planning to fast 3 days but have to cut it short b/c of a date :-/
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Feb 8 20:34:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44uqae/was_planning_to_fast_3_days_but_have_to_cut_it/
---
On the one hand I'm happy to be dating someone who wants to see me so often, on the other hand I was really looking forward to completing this fast.

I finished Day 1 today with complete ease and it's kind of breaking my heart that I'll have to eat/drink something with him or else look like a weirdo. At least I can make it to 48 hours if we meet after 9.

My roommate's out of town and everything, it was the perfect time for a fast...

[Rant] I'm so stupid
/u/plainskinny [5 | 120 | 24| 45 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 19:47:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44uiz2/im_so_stupid/
---
(Let me start off by saying sorry if this was ranty or goes against the rules I'm just freaking out and need to get it all out. Also I'm sorry I can't flair right now because I'm on mobile.) I feel like such an idiot. I did great today with my restricting. Like absolutely perfect and I did all my sit ups. Restricting has been helping take anxiety away lately and it's great and after months of binging and (thankfully) maintaining I was ready to get back on it and kick some ass. I've actually been doing so well this whole month and half of last. I was so proud of myself that I thought I deserved a nice hot bath. It was wonderful and so relaxing. But when I got out I felt so weak I just sat down on the floor because my legs could barely keep me up. Then I guessed I blacked out because a couple minutes later I woke up laying on the bathroom floor. I'm a little scared that I passed out so I decided to tell my best friend in case something really bad happened. So I texted her "I just passed out on the bathroom floor. What the fuck is wrong with me" and she freaked out on me and questioned what I ate and everything. I made up a bunch of shit that I ate but my anxiety is through the roof. I know she understands mental illness first hand and she knows my eating habits are weird but she doesn't know how weird. I just want to sit down and cry. She won't text me back and I'm worried that she's going to find out about me. (I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder and I don't even think I have one. Just a bunch of weird eating habits that I can relate with people here without people calling me unhealthy.) and I'm so embarrassed because I feel like I'm to fat to have an eating disorder or even for anyone to be suspicious of me having an eating disorder. And I'm so afraid she's going to say something or look at me differently because I told her I passed out. This is just added stress and anxiety and I've never felt so fucking stupid my whole life. I just want to cry.


Edit: thanks for all the advice. She asked me if I was okay this morning. I said yes and we moved on. I just had really bad anxiety last night. And next time I'm definitely adding cold water to my bath and taking it slow

[Help] Primatene with Ritalin?
/u/HereIsMyThrowawayKay
Created: Mon Feb 8 18:42:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44u8y9/primatene_with_ritalin/
---
I'm currently on ritalin (10mg, 4x) and I bought some generic Primatene but I'm afraid to take it. Has anyone taken these together? Do I need the Primatene if I'm on ritalin? I can still return it...
(Edit: I don't drink a whole lot of caffeine and I have meds to slow heart rate if needed...)

Update: apparently it can't be returned even though the receipt says it can and the website doesn't list it as a thing that can't be returned...

[Tip] Sunflower seeds are bae
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 16:21:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44tmhh/sunflower_seeds_are_bae/
---
Sunflower seeds (in the shell) have saved me the past few days because I'm impatient and hate shelling them and so I invariably chew on them and spit them out but they leave me feeling like I ate something. This helped me as I had a lot of driving to do this weekend and I typically have to have something to snack on while I sit on my ass for long hours on end for some gross reason. Anyone else have go to non-food foods they enjoy?

[Discussion] A social change..
/u/sunkindonut149
Created: Mon Feb 8 16:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44tjn4/a_social_change/
---
One thing I've noticed is that in the US media, you don't have these The Biggest Loser type stories where someone goes from heavy or medium to Kate Moss circa 1995, especially in their late 20s to late 40s. Teen transformations are totally okay, though.

But when I was in my 20s, the media abounded with weight loss stories. But now, you won't find them in America anymore - just in Asia, Europe, Latin America and other parts of the world where people still promote the Cabbage Soup Diet in magazines and diet pill isn't a dirty word. Even then, it's pathologized as "look at those crazy people in other countries".

It's like it's considered politically incorrect to be thin - especially like model thin - if you aren't "naturally' that way or have some cause like paleo, vegan or whatever that is somehow considered politically correct (grass fed beef or whatever).

Like dieting for dieting's sake is no longer a thing.

When do you think this shift took place? I think it's terrible and it takes power away from people who are looking to make a change, but who aren't classified as obese by health authorities.

[Help] Running
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 14:19:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44t2sy/running/
---
I know there was an exercise thread posted like immediately before this, but I was planning on making this post specifically looking for help running.

I used to run a lot (track and field, long distance) but I never really trained for it. Except for years before this when I was really little my dad took me and my siblings running on a track and we would run for thirty seconds, walk one minute. Next time, run and walk forty five seconds each. Next time, run one minute, walk thirty seconds, etc etc until we were just running for an hour.

I'm super out of shape now. I do some bodyweight exercise but cardio is my absolute downfall. I just went for a run and ran a little over a mile on a track. Should I alternate running a lap and walking a lap? Should I do the timing thing? By the end of my run I was totally nauseated and lightheaded and I don't know if I should "train up" to make my running more effective. It's really hard when all that's in you is coffee and water and you try to push yourself.

[Discussion] Exercise and restricting, how do YOU make it work?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 102.8 | 18.71 | -12.2 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 13:14:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44sr2b/exercise_and_restricting_how_do_you_make_it_work/
---
What it says on the tin. For those of you who work out (esp if you work out a lot) I'm curious about how you make it work - do you find it changes your appetite/do you eat more on workout days? Before or after? Or just take more electrolytes? Do you add workouts to purge? Any mental tricks to get through a tough session on low fuel?

(Sorry I've been posting so much since I found this community; I just have literally never had anyone to talk to about this stuff before so it's like 20 years worth of discussion stored up in me, ha)

[Goal] Vacation weekend update
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 126 | 18.27 | -14 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 12:40:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44skzc/vacation_weekend_update/
---
So last week I went on vacation and I was really worried that I was going to gain because I would be around people 24/7 and having to eat out.

I am happy to report that I did not gain at ALL! I was almost 100% positive that I would gain and I was okay with it but it is so great to come back and not have to worry about that.

Hope you all are having a great day!

[Help] Weird period problems?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 8 12:16:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44sgvu/weird_period_problems/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Can't tell if face bloated or I'm just now noticing how fat it is
/u/aaren0
Created: Mon Feb 8 12:04:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44sett/cant_tell_if_face_bloated_or_im_just_now_noticing/
---
:/

[Goal] Week+ Mega Water Fast: Day 1
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Mon Feb 8 11:48:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44sc1b/week_mega_water_fast_day_1/
---
So I binged this weekend and had some stuff said to me by someone I thought was cool, but I went **really** off track and I need to get some results. This is a pretty big fast for me and I did a bit of research last night after my last post that has me willing to push it past 5 days to 7 or more if I'm feeling right.

I just wanted this chronicled.

I decided to go to the gym and weigh in this morning, because I don't have a scale at home (no disappointment means less potential binging) and I trust that scale to be accurate because I've been using it for 9 months.

My Official Pre-Fast Weigh-In: 287 lbs

So far today I've been good, but I think I should have picked a better spot to post this from, because folks here in the break room are eating some really tempting food.

I'm planning on going blading at the local skate rink after work, so all I'm doing is counting minutes down to that...

[Thinspo] Please post your favorite thinspiration.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 11:04:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44s4nx/please_post_your_favorite_thinspiration/
---
Whether it be a quote or a word, a mantra, a picture, a gif, a memory- whatever. I need it today.

[Discussion] Does anyone else stick to a strict calorie limit but spend it on THE WORST foods? (high fat, high calorie, calorie dense?)
/u/silverdiscipline
Created: Mon Feb 8 10:45:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44s1e5/does_anyone_else_stick_to_a_strict_calorie_limit/
---
Just wondering if I'm the only weirdo on the block. I stay around 800-900 calories most days, sometimes less. I will bend over backwards to avoid hitting 1k.

I spend my calories on the worst foods. I don't even feel bad about it. I feel like I SHOULD feel bad about it. I used to get so much guilt when I would binge on like, alfredo or something. I knew I wasn't supposed to have it, and that it would be "a long time" before I had it again... if ever! Yes! This is "the last time"! And so I'd use that to justify eating as much as I could and then both feel like dying and killing myself the next day.

So now I eat like crap. I just count the calories of said crap. Of course when I eat a partial portion of something, I want to eat more or finish it. But I just remind myself that I can have more tomorrow. I'm not saying no forever, I'm just saying no for now. That the reason I could have some today is because I stopped eating yesterday. And I want to have some tomorrow, don't I?

So it ends up with me spending about half my daily allowance of calories on crappy foods instead of healthy ones a lot of the time. Anyone else eat weird like this?

edit to add: Also, hi. This is my first post ever here, though I've lurked since before Christmas.

[Thinspo] What is this from?
/u/brittneyintherough
Created: Mon Feb 8 10:13:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44rvle/what_is_this_from/
---
http://imgur.com/8RWPrvn

[Goal] This weekend was a shitshow. Today is awesome sauce.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 09:59:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44rt33/this_weekend_was_a_shitshow_today_is_awesome_sauce/
---
So, seems like the moon was in the house of binge this weekend for a lot of us and I was certainly no exception. It was...Not great. Pasta and pizza and marshmallows (why?) so yeah, just a weekend of terrible decisions.

But today, today is already shiny and new and smells like success cookies coming right out of the oven heated with burning calories.

Woke up at 5am. Got dressed and went outside, started my first day of couch to 5k before the sun was up. Got back home and did my Blogilates workout. Then showered and got dressed for work, grabbing a protein bar on my way out the door. I've already done more this morning before getting to work than most people do all day.

I'm crushing it and I feel amazing. I'm going to chase this feeling. I'm going to turn myself into a morning person, because this feels amazing. This is why people get up early.

I hope you all are experiencing a similar determination, resolve, and renewal of spirit on this lovely Monday. šŸ˜ŠšŸ˜ƒ

[Rant] Threw away my lunch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 8 09:21:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44rmez/threw_away_my_lunch/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 8 09:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44rj4v/daily_food_diary_february_08_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 08, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] It's my real life cake-day
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 08:55:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44rhxa/its_my_real_life_cakeday/
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I'm 22 today and happy.

I'm going out for dinner with my grandparents. I'm the lowest weight I've been in years. I'm fasting the whole day until the dinner, of course, where I expect much will be eaten and drunk and that's okay. I'll get back to restricting tomorrow, maybe even keep a couple of days at half my normal intake, and it will even out. I'm saying this as a mental note to myself. I'm hoping not to go too crazy. It is a fancy restaurant: maybe some oysters, a little nice bread, fish and a dessert. I'm not going to have any cocktails, just stick to fizzy wine and normal wine, and maybe a whisky for after.

It's going to be okay - it's going to be nice, come on you - but I'm freaking out. I don't want to purge on my birthday. I've walked 6 miles today in anticipation and I'm hoping to make that 8 before the meal. I want to be paper thin and pretty. I'm getting old - 10 years I've had this. Jesus

Sometimes this disorder makes me feel so small and alone. I'm bone-checking like mad and feel like I've already gained weight. How much damage can one blow-out meal do?


[Discussion] Saw this on postsecret. I think it applies to many of us
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 08:54:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44rhrw/saw_this_on_postsecret_i_think_it_applies_to_many/
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https://postsecretdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/happier.jpg?w=275&h=526

[Rant] Got off track, pissed at self
/u/heytiny [4'11" | 98 lbs | 21.02 | -5 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 08:20:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44rc2h/got_off_track_pissed_at_self/
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TW in post, I'll mark where it starts

For the past 2 weeks I haven't kept track of a single calorie.
Two nights ago I started really beating myself up about it (TW// and I just started cutting)
I was in like a blind rage over how I let myself be a fat slob. I was crying and pinching at all my fat.

The next day I just couldn't function without freaking out over how much I had been eating.
So I've decided that as of today I'm getting back on track. Finding comfort in my ED. It's what kept me calm and sane feeling in some weird way.

I'm going to start out with a min 3 day fast and then heavily restrict.

Sorry for the rant and the jumble of thoughts, I just really needed to get this out.

*can't flair on mobile will flair later

[Discussion] Drinking my problems away
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 8 07:44:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44r6hi/drinking_my_problems_away/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! February 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 8 05:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44qm8u/weekly_stats_update_february_08_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for February 08, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant] Feel like I'm going to have a panic attack
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 04:31:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44qj8c/feel_like_im_going_to_have_a_panic_attack/
---
I'm not sure how many people are online at the moment but I feel so so awful

I had a mini binge for the first time in a while. It was the only time I ate today but I'm panicking so much. I had 1000 calories for the first time in a while

I have no idea what to do. I had a whole litre of soy icecream and 4 chocolate biscuits. ugh I hate myself and I'm panicking

I'm planning on doing a 24-48 hour fast to undo this :(

Sorry I just needed to vent ugh I feel so upset with myself.


[Rant] I was weighed today.(Fuck)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 8 03:59:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44qfzt/i_was_weighed_todayfuck/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How do you survive on such a low calorie deficit?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 8 01:29:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44q20t/how_do_you_survive_on_such_a_low_calorie_deficit/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I've become a giant whale
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 8 00:28:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44pwpz/ive_become_a_giant_whale/
---
I want to apologize because this is going to be a nonsensical rant. It's 1 am, I can't sleep because I've run out of weed and I don't have a dealer right now. This is my first night sober in months. I hate it.

My binging and purging is out of control. I've gained so much weight from it. I'm too embarrassed to update my flair. Everyone says that it's great that I'm gaining weight, even if it's from b/ping. I just feel so god damn fat and disgusting, I look like a whale. I have red patches around my mouth from all of the purging. I've started cutting again because I can't handle this anymore. My suicidal thoughts are much stronger. If I can't stop my binging and purging, I don't think I'll be able to live with myself much longer.

I really need to get my control back. I need to starve myself again. I miss feeling empty, pure, and light.

I've made a new meal plan for the week. I have more protein in my plan than before, but I don't have enough fat and I have too many carbs. But I don't know how to modify it to get better macros. I need to rework it for next week. I keep messing around on mpf trying to get a good macro ratio that is low calorie, but it never works.

My mom is coming home from her trip tomorrow. I'm really hoping that will help me stop binging and purging.

There's just too many hours in the day and I don't know how to fill them other than b/p'ing all day. I'll probably have to give my mom my wallet so I don't buy binge food while she's at work. I wish I could lock my fridge and cupboards to stop me from eating, but I can't.

I just need my control. I was so good before Christmas. Then the holidays came, I binged, the holidays left and I never stopped binging.

I'm sorry for rambling. I feel like I post way too much, especially about my binging.

I just don't know what to do anymore...

[Discussion] How many of you living in the US take bronchaid or primatene?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 7 23:16:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44pp07/how_many_of_you_living_in_the_us_take_bronchaid/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] My plan for this week.
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Sun Feb 7 22:17:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44phnw/my_plan_for_this_week/
---
After two days of binging, a Chipotle burrito, two cups of ranch, a whole bag of chips, a pint of sour cream, a double patty melt, fried pickles, large fries, two liters of soda and a pound of gummy bears, and everything and anything else I felt like binging on out of my fridge, I need damage control, and since I'm not able to purge (last time I threw up was when I drank 500ml of vodka in one night by myself when I'd never been drink before, the only time in the last ten years.), I've decided that I will be going on a week long water fast.

5 days only water or bouillon, to be broken Saturday at lunch with celery and canned chicken breast (90 cal/can).

If I can can extend it past that, I might but I'll have to see how I feel next week...

[Rant] Body Dysmorphia & Distorted Everything
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 22:13:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ph7b/body_dysmorphia_distorted_everything/
---
I'm generally a rational person. I like that about myself. Kind of, at least. But this disorder is taking any chance of other people agreeing with me on that away. Rationally, I know I am not obese. Not overweight, not even above average. Never have been. But I take one look at my stomach rolls, at the fat on the top of my thighs or at how little space wrapping my hand around my wrist leaves and that rationality goes straight out the window. I don't mind fat people. But I can't look at them without wanting to cry because, even when they are 3 times my weight I see their stomach rolls and the fat on the top of their thighs and I *know* that I look just like them. I try my best to justify how I feel. Like, bmi isn't accurate for me because I'm young and "still growing". And how little I eat despite being a teenager who is supposed to be growing is fine because I did stop growing. I stopped growing because I stopped eating but nevermind that, it's irrelevant right? I'm about 30 hours into what I hope to be an at least 48 hours fast & hate myself for "breaking it" with a cup of green tea. But, that's fine & totally justified because I ate a lot 2 days ago. Sure, it was probably under 1000 calories but I'm going to count it as 2000 because I wouldn't *dare* underestimate. Sure, what I'm doing to myself is unhealthy and I'm lying to everyone to try to sustain it. But that's totally justified because my mom used to call me fat and my boyfriend said he'd prefer if I were skinnier. *They* want me to do this. I'm doing this for them. And for myself. This totally isn't a disorder, let's just call it self improvement! And self improvement isn't something you recover from ; it's something you keep doing. And keep doing. And keep doing. Until your bmi is at 11 because, that's what you want right. Fuck school, fuck getting a job, fuck going outside because your mental issues have already ruined those for you. Let's just look at the positive side of those mental issues. Let's rename those self improvement. Let's just put off eating for another day or two.

***I am so glad I'm a rational person***

[Rant] starting to get scared
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 7 21:31:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44pbs7/starting_to_get_scared/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Bulimia dulls the loneliness
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |98|16.9|-18 since 8/2016]
Created: Sun Feb 7 21:03:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44p8cb/bulimia_dulls_the_loneliness/
---
I didn't go to any Super Bowl parties this weekend. Not even because of food, but because I have no real friends. I spent my weekend like any other weekend, alone with my cat. I spend so much time just laying in bed, passing time. No SO in over a year, no family nearby and I'm 30, which means others my age have a life, kids, etc. and little time. I do things outside of work maybe once a month if people are free. Nobody would really care if I died. I dont have to worry about hiding eating habits because I have no outside life besides work.


Bulimia dulls the pain of how unlovable I am. I went to a buffet today, eyes glazed, fingers in mashed potatoes, spoons became foreign, and filled and filled and filled up plates and the ache was gone for a while. Then when purging, I was focused, none of the usual long procrastinating... And when it was all over, 4 or so hours of my life had passed and it felt more bearable to be alive.


Sometimes I think I want to recover, but what for? Before the ED I was that same, out of place person. Timid. Unlovable. Awkward. Reticent. Introverted. Average smarts. No talents. I am a Nobody.

I wish I was better at restricting because it gives me a reason to wake up in the morning (check weight) but sometimes binging just makes time go by faster....sigh.

[Rant] What a Lovely Day? (Intro/Rant)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 7 20:08:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44p19d/what_a_lovely_day_introrant/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] To eat or not to eat, fat is the question...
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 122.4lbs | 19.1 | -43lbs| F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 19:58:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ozxz/to_eat_or_not_to_eat_fat_is_the_question/
---
http://imgur.com/a/yGdaE

[Rant] I am pretty sure I am a barbarian.
/u/bigmansam [5'3 |120 | 22.0| 4 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 19:35:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44owz7/i_am_pretty_sure_i_am_a_barbarian/
---
So I just ate three pieces of pizza and half a meatball sandwhich. Why? Because I am at a stupid Superbowl party. I hate football, I hate sports, and I but I came anyway.

Now I am 197% sure I am a barbarian because I was AWESOME all day today, and then 2 massive boxes of pizza went "plop" right in front of my face.

I had my glass of wine, so I was feeling like, "Gaaaah, what the hell?" And guess what I did, /r/proed? GUESS WHAT I DID?

I crashed this junk into my face full force.

Was it worth it? No. The good taste does not ever compare to the bad feeling after.

Never.

To reiterate...the good taste does not EVER compare to the bad feeling after.

[Discussion] Meal Prepping -- Any experience?
/u/AwlaysForgettings [6ft | 149lb | 19.43 | -75lb | Male]
Created: Sun Feb 7 19:08:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44otj6/meal_prepping_any_experience/
---
I'm thinking of taking some tips from the /r/MealPrepSunday sub and start pre-prepping some low calorie protein & veggie meals for like 3 days in advance.

I've gone slightly off the wagon these past couple of days and prepping would kind of remove the pressure of figuring out what to eat and get me back on track.

Anyone had any experience with this?

I'm thinking of just doing some chicken breast & maybe a little steak, lots of veggies and maybe a little brown rice in each one..... maybe aim for 400ish calorie for each? Having 2 decent hot meals equaling 800 cals seems quite appealing to me.


[Discussion] Super bindge
/u/SoftAsPowder [5'10 | 155| 22.2|-5| F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 17:59:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ol0p/super_bindge/
---
Anyone else been bindging like crazy tonight? I couldn't resist the pizza, cookies or nachos. Hoping I'm not too alone in this.

[Rant] A little thing making me happy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 7 17:43:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44oizi/a_little_thing_making_me_happy/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I've had probably close to 500 calories of cinnamon candy today (and nothing else).
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 17:28:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44oh2p/ive_had_probably_close_to_500_calories_of/
---
My face is burning and I still want more! How am I ALIVE???

[Discussion] Weird form of motivation
/u/dtrh78 [5'4'' | 133.2 | 23.31 | -11.8 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 17:23:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ogh0/weird_form_of_motivation/
---
There's this really awesome guy in my friend group who I have been interested in for a few weeks. Last night we had an amazing time, went rolling and danced/made out all night and it was wonderful. He's going away for a few months and I want to try and lose as much weight as possible before he comes back. This is weird for me, I've never had someone else as my motivation to lose weight. Is this a thing? Either way, it's been super motivating. I just keep picturing the look on his face when he gets back.

[Rant] Upset about missing out on planned dinner
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 100.5 lb | 19.04 | -19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 16:22:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44o7ve/upset_about_missing_out_on_planned_dinner/
---
All day long I restricted so that I could have a normal dinner with my roommate. I went to my mom's house to run errands and ate way less than I normally would (but I still had to eat a little so she wouldn't get worried). I get home, ready to order dinner and hang out with my roommate and just pretend for once that I don't have an ED (I'm pretty sure he knows) only to find out that he had already ordered dinner for himself because he "didn't know when I was coming home". Even after we had planned this, even in this age of cell phones and Facebook messenger. And for some reason, even though I should be happy about this restriction opportunity, I got really, really upset. And he called me out on it, and I just don't know what to do. I should restrict, but I just want to eat everything in sight because I had planned to eat right now and ugh. He's offering to order more food (since he's a bodybuilder he eats about 3x my TDEE, so about 4x what I normally eat in a day) but I don't know what to say and I'm sure he's mad at me because I got mad because he didn't even think to ask me before ruining our dinner plans.

[Rant] When you remember how much you ate yesterday
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 104 | 19.25 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 16:15:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44o6qc/when_you_remember_how_much_you_ate_yesterday/
---
http://imgur.com/4TMFnBX

[Help] Any good reverse thinspo threads/collections?
/u/MrsHiMyNameIsHannah [5'6"| 135lbs | 21.79 | -45 | UGW 114 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 16:05:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44o562/any_good_reverse_thinspo_threadscollections/
---
I have made a thinspo album on my devices but I need some good quality reverse thinspo. I've been looking at some of those feedee girls but i read the comments and they're all so sexual and gross. i was wondering if anyone had some direct links to some albums on imgur or if anyone had previously posted one.

Over 2000 calories before 5PM
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 7 15:29:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44nz26/over_2000_calories_before_5pm/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Help?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Feb 7 14:55:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44nt3w/help/
---
Does anyone know how to stop a binge? Like sometimes I'm able to count all of my calories and be under my goal, but then a few days later I binge. My recent injury also hasn't helped...

I need to be perfect.

Edit: Omg. Thanks for all the replies everyone<3

[Rant] Incredibly depressed. (trigger warning maybe idk)
/u/sewnp [168cm | GW:90lbs | NB]
Created: Sun Feb 7 14:11:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44nlfp/incredibly_depressed_trigger_warning_maybe_idk/
---
Hey everyone. Earlier this week I made a promise with u/lookatmyclavicles about joining them in their five day fast and I found myself in a binge again. I felt so guilty like I let them down that I ended up avoiding this sub for awhile. I feel like I shouldn't be here, like I'm somehow lying about having an ED and I'm not 'bad enough'. Haha in reality it probably just enforces that I do???

I'm not sure, but something really sad happened just recently. My good friend's cat had to be put to sleep and, though in itself was sad, it brought up a lot of old feelings about my own cat having to be put down last year. I started crying and crying, thinking everyone is going to die what's the point. I was a mess and thankfully I've just settled into a more stable depression. I keep seeing these 'happy at 50' commercials on the television and I just get these intrusive thoughts about how everyone is going to die. ugh I keep thinking that if I were to die I'd rather die thin than fat. I even joke with myself saying that I won't die until I get there but I know that's bullshit. I'm so sad I've been doing calculations on calorie deficits and how much exercise I need to do to lose xxlbs in a month diligently, but I can never follow through for some unknown reason. I think it's because I'm intensely impulsive so short term things, even if they make me want to die, are more desirable than long term goals.

I'm very disappointed in myself. I bought myself a game to distract myself from everything so hopefully that works out. I'm sorry this is gross and stupid. I feel gross and stupid. blegh

A slam poem
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Feb 7 13:55:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44nini/a_slam_poem/
---
http://youtu.be/16Tb_bZZDv0

[Help] EC stack and mid-cycle bleeding?
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 117.8 lbs | 21.5 | -13.8 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 13:47:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44nhdf/ec_stack_and_midcycle_bleeding/
---
Please help, TMI I'm sorry but I'm trying to figure out if there's any correlation between the two or why this is happening to me.

I started the EC stack about a week ago. I've only done 25mg ephedrine and 140mg caffeine once a day around 2pm. Thursday Feb 4th from about 1pm-6pm I started bleeding. It was dark red at first and a little heavy, eventually tapered off and turned light pink. Friday, no bleeding. Saturday the 5th, bled from like 11am-11pm. Again started a little heavy but when it lightened up it turned brown instead of pink. Just a half an hour ago it started again but this time it's a light pink and only when I wipe (didn't see any on my panty). I'm also having some pain in my lower abdomen and it feels pretty balanced between both sides but if I were to say one side was any worse it would probably be the right side.

I last got my period Jan 16th and aren't due to get it again until Feb 17th (I've been tracking in an app for almost a year). It predicted that my ovulation was to occur Weds Feb 3rd, so I initially thought maybe ovulation bleeding since apparently this is common (though has never happened to me before). I don't assume this would be implantation spotting because although I had sex 5 days prior to the predicted ovulation, I've read that implantation occurs about 6-12 days after ovulation occurs, putting that more towards the time when one would normally expect to have their period, but I'm not expecting mine for another 10 days.

The only 2 things I can think of that have changed since I last had my *period in January is that I've lost 11 pounds in roughly 2 weeks and I've started the EC stack. I can't imagine losing 11 pounds has caused this problem because I've lost more weight before in the same time frame, and I've been 120 pounds before (and lighter) and I've never had this problem.

I can't get to my doctor until tomorrow (and that's even if they will have time to do an exam) so I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas or has ever experienced this using the EC stack. The pain isn't bad enough to warrant an ER visit but since this has never happened before and has been intermittent these 4 days rather than a constant flow, I'm a little concerned.

EDIT: *left out a word by accident

[Help] [help] Scared to take a tolerance break.
/u/kilyia
Created: Sun Feb 7 13:26:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ndzr/help_scared_to_take_a_tolerance_break/
---
I started taking Primatene about 4 weeks ago and it was amazing. Like many of you, I finally felt in control. If there was ice cream in the house? No problem. Instead of bingeing on the whole pint, hiding it from my boyfriend and buying another one, I could ignore it or if I wanted ice cream I'd eat a teaspoon of it and not want any more.

I lost about 5-6 lbs in 3 weeks but recently it hasn't been working as well. On Feb 1st, even though I took my usual dose I had a big eating day and this weekend has just been a complete disaster food wise. After the disgusting amount of food I ate yesterday (even though I took my usual dose) I was planning on eating very little today but, despite taking my usual dose, I was starting to eat more than I wanted so I took a third one (because I am going to a super bowl party later and I do not want to eat).


I know that I should take a few rest days and give myself a tolerance break but I am so afraid that it's going to result in bingeing/eating too much. I have no idea what a "normal" amount of food for me looks like anymore and as far as I am concerned unless I am only eating tiny portions of food I am going to gain weight or undo the loss I've had in the last three weeks. I am so terrified of gaining weight. Being fat (for the first time in my life after always being very thin/underweight) has paralyzed me emotionally. Should I just bite the bullet and take a few days off or just up my dose to 3x a day (37.5 g per day)?

[Discussion] Super Bowl Sunday
/u/wailwriter [5'9" | 149.6 | 21.69 | -12 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 12:22:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44n3jo/super_bowl_sunday/
---
I've decided today that I want to have fun. I want to eat till i'm satisfied, not over do it. I want to drink until i'm drunk. I don't want to worry about weight and the consequences of today, I just want to have a good time and keep on with my diet after today. I think it's important to remember that we can have breaks as long as we keep ourselves accountable and are ready to fix whatever lost progress happens after doing so. I just want to be a normal college kid today, and I want all of you to know I think it's ok to do the same. I hope everyone has an amazing super bowl sunday :D

[Discussion] I can see it in my toes?!
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 152# | 26% | -38# | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 11:39:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44mw9h/i_can_see_it_in_my_toes/
---
I was looking at my feet today, and I realized I could see the tendons in the top of my foot. When I went from 190lbs to 170lbs my feet shrunk a whole shoe size. Now they're looking kinda cute and petit at 152lbs.

I can't wait to see what they look like at my GW of 117!

I love it. Anybody else like their new feet?

[Rant] Um so I guess this is hello... (Ramble inbound)
/u/tfiitg2 [5'9" | 156.5 | 23.1 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 10:59:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44mojd/um_so_i_guess_this_is_hello_ramble_inbound/
---
soooo I've been lurking for a while now, but thought I'd finally say hi to you all - I'm kind of nervous that you guys wont accept me because I've never been actually diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I really identify with all of you and you're all such lovely people so here goes anyway (warning I'm a rambler so this will definitely be long):

Basically although I've never really swung into the real extremes in either direction in terms of my BMI, I've had a weird relationship with food and my appearance for a while. I can remember thinking I was really fat back when I was in the third grade, so much so that I became a tomboy for a few years, almost completely motivated by the fact that the friend I had that was a tomboy never wore shorts, even in the 90 degree summers - as an 8 year old I thought my legs were so fat that I hated wearing shorts. When I look back at those pictures - and the doctors charts on my weight and BMI from that age - I realize I wasn't actually fat at all, and was actually a little underweight.

the first time my eating actually became strange was when I was 12. I know everyone hates the idiots who say "I was anorexic once" - and I'm not saying I ever was - but I think it could have escalated in that direction if my weight loss even further into the underweight zone had gone unnoticed by my parents. It started by eating only 3/4 of the bagel at lunch in the cafeteria, to 1/2, until I was skipping lunch and breakfast and trying to avoid dinner as well. I remember walking to the bus and the end of the day and feeling hungry, and *enjoying* that feeling. After a few months though, I remember my parents sitting me down and telling me I didn't need to lose any weight and that I looked fine and that they were concerned blah blah... so that was that, for a while.

When I went to high school, It slowly flipped in the other direction. I actually looked at my BMI chart from the pediatrician and just had to laugh: between two checkups, I went from my whole being underweight to dancing at the edge of healthy/overweight. Obviously, that's where I still am now.

I'm 20 and in university now, and the level of binge eating has gotten worse since I've left the supervision of my parents. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at the end of last year, and am actually repeating my 2nd year of uni because of it, but the effects of it were obvious. In my worst state in may before exams, I managed to gain almost *30 pounds* in as many days - so at the minimum 3500 calories above my TDEE every day. It was all binge eating, and I didn't enjoy any of it. Food was starting to taste like sand (probably because I was depressed), but I kept eating more and more. Not that when I was depressed was the only time I binge ate - even now I still sometimes order enough chinese takeout for probably 4 people (judging by the number of plastic forks they give me :( ) and eat it on my own - and pray that my flatmates don't come home while I'm eating it.

Ironically now though, I think I might be sliding back in the other direction. Although I'm on medication for my depression I really don't feel like I've got much control over my life or my studies right now, and am super worried I'm going to fail the year even though technically I've done all of these courses before. I used to be a star student - I'm in the UK now but was in the states for school, and I got 5's on every single AP exam I took - I took 9 exams in 2 years. I also got 800s on almost every SAT subject test I took, and was ashamed when I got a 790 on one of them. Now I feel like the village idiot in comparison. As stupid as it seems, I'm starting to think If I cant be the smartest, or at the very least *pass*, at university, I can at least be fucking thin so I look good.

It started with switching to eating healthy things, like carrots, and arugula (which I am in *love* with btw - favourite vegetable) but now I'm going back to what I did back when I was 12 and boiling a bullion cube and counting that as a meal. This week I water fasted on monday, tuesday, thursday and friday, and I'm water fasting again right now. I planned Wednesday and yesterday off too, but specifically so I could binge, which makes it even worse - I got high with a friend last night and ate so much junk I literally thought I was going to die it, was horrible. I literally think of food and dieting almost non-stop, which has always been the case for me, but now I literally can't even watch a movie without thinking about it. I want to get down to at least 60 kg or 132 lbs but really I don't want to stop until my waist is 25" maximum - right now its 29" and I look disgusting.

So I don't know, I've never really truly been to either extreme or actually even necessarily *have* any ED, but I really identify with a lot of the stuff posted on here, and all of you are such kind people! I feel like maybe this was just a vent, probably a beg for some kind of acceptance maybe? either way, I guess my life story is out there now, so.... yeah. hi :)

[Help] Inner thigh fat
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Feb 7 10:26:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44miw9/inner_thigh_fat/
---
Does anyone have some magic exercise thing for it? Just training my legmuscles doesn't help that part and oh, I hate it.

[Discussion] What time during the day should I weigh myself?
/u/pointmass [5'6" | 108.4 lbs | 17.47 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 09:58:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44me2h/what_time_during_the_day_should_i_weigh_myself/
---
I have found that I weigh the least in the morning right after I get up, which is ~3 lbs less than the highest point during the day. Should I record my lowest or highest weight during the day? I feel like I only weigh less in the morning because my tummy is empty and so is my bladder (I pee 1-2 times at night).

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Feb 7 09:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44m4vs/daily_food_diary_february_07_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 07, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant] I hate it when people ask for weight loss advice
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11Ā½ | 154.3 | 21.13 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 05:41:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44lgcr/i_hate_it_when_people_ask_for_weight_loss_advice/
---
Noticable amount of people have noticed, commented and asked about how I've lost so much weight (80+ lbs). I could tell you all about CICO, macros, exercise, fatlogic, diets, TDEE, MFP, etc etc... But half the time, people don't want to hear about the actual struggle behind weight loss, they just hope I can enlighten them on some magical pill or snake oil that'll do the trick.

I'm also afraid that people are going to become more aware of my unhealthy relationship to food and my body if I talk too much about this topic. So my standard answer so far has been "You should talk to a doctor/dietist about it"

[Discussion] Weird body-related dreams while restricting?
/u/ifuckpineapples [5'3" | 98.0 | 17.84 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 04:54:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44lb6g/weird_bodyrelated_dreams_while_restricting/
---
I just started restricting again last week and I already had a body-horror type nightmare. I haven't had one of those since last year when I was restricting, its the only time I get them. They're always about something like bugs crawling in my body, or my skin being see through or some other disturbing dream, it messes with my whole day.

I just woke up from what felt like an hour long dream of throwing up/coughing up this gooey blood that wriggled out of my mouth like worms. I still feel nauseous from it.

Any one else experience something like this? Can you prevent them, you think?

[Rant] My first "talk."
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 114 lbs | 19.95 | -41 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 02:07:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44kuzs/my_first_talk/
---
'You're so tiny!' she said. I smiled shyly and said 'thank you' with downcast eyes. My mother eyed me up and down. With a steadying breath, as if preparing for a long awaited plunge, She followed with five simple words: 'I have to say this...'


My sister immediately looked down at her drink and set her mouth in a forced line. I could tell they had spoken about it before. I imagined whispered comments behind hands and judgmental gazes while I was distracted. I felt the sense of betrayal and accompanying anger bubble in my empty belly.
'I'm worried about you. You've lost so much weight, i can see it in your face. You're so thin.'

as if it were a bad thing, a thing to be ashamed of, a thing to hide.

I tried my best to stay aloof, unconcerned, appear to be humored by her words. But I felt my mouth set defensively, my face become hostile, my shoulders square as if for a fight, and my hands clench a little too tight in my lap. My mother and sister exchanged a look. The anger in my belly wanted to lash out. I could feel their eyes on my collarbones, my shoulders, my cheeks. I felt vulnerable and bare and raw. I felt the control I fought so hard to keep around me disappear. And all it took were 5 little words.
'I have to say this...'


**I would like to add that I have mixed emotions about what happened tonight. I am grateful to have a family who notices and is concerned. But I am also frustrated with their lack of understanding. I don't know what I want I guess.**

[Discussion] Just finished my first liquid fast
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Sun Feb 7 02:00:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44kucp/just_finished_my_first_liquid_fast/
---
24 hour fast, from 8 pm Saturday to 8 pm Sunday (now).
I guess it helped that I slept almost half of the time, but I did have a latte (150 cals) and a broth-style soup (50 cals), as well as water. Also managed to drop half a kilo (1 pound) in this time.

I started to experience hunger at about the 20 hour mark, and then for the next few hours passed the time with reading and gardening.

Planning to do a 48 hour fast in the near future, and maybe start intermittent fasting.

Did any of you fast over the weekend, or are still fasting?


[Discussion] Hiding on weekends
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sun Feb 7 01:31:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44kro1/hiding_on_weekends/
---
Hey guys,
How do you hide your ED from your parents/roommates in the weekends? It's so hard, even trying really hard I'll eat 1400 a day just because they want to eat dinner and breakfast together. I always gain or mantain and that's really hard and depressing.


Edit; I always cook the meals myself so I won't add oil and everything.

[Discussion] People who purge, do you wish you never started it?
/u/not_meeeee
Created: Sun Feb 7 00:17:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44kkj2/people_who_purge_do_you_wish_you_never_started_it/
---
I've never done it before but it crosses my mind so often especially after I've had a big binge and I find myself considering it more and more lately. But then I come across people in forums saying they regret starting because they says its so hard to stop and since you know (or tell yourself) that you can do it, they often have bigger binges and cant always get it all out anyway which results in gains. I'm strong enough that I can stop myself from starting purging, if only i was strong enough to stop myself from binging.

[Discussion] Do you find it easier to plan fasts in advance on certain days or decide randomly as the time comes?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 6 23:31:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44kfmb/do_you_find_it_easier_to_plan_fasts_in_advance_on/
---
I'm debating setting a certain day/s each week to fast. I love making schedules and lists, so it appeals being able to plan and see everything organized. Routine and a strict schedule helps me in a lot of areas.

I'm not sure if planning them in advance would help or if I should just take it when the opportunity presents itself.

I feel planning would push me towards better self-control. If I know I have to fast that day and still reject food that's offered, that's great. But things come up and I don't know what I'd do if I had to eat on a day I planned to fast. I have a very 'all-or-nothing' attitude so it's possible to trigger a b/p session.

I'm curious to know what you have found works best for you.

[Goal] Today my friend called me fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 6 23:25:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44kex8/today_my_friend_called_me_fat/
---
[deleted]

/r/proED kik group
/u/DietSodaAddict [5'6"|100|16.4|LW:94|Male]
Created: Sat Feb 6 20:58:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44jvk7/rproed_kik_group/
---
Hello,

As myself and many users have requested, a Kik group has been made. On my phone, I cannot make the group public (sadly), so you will have to PM me your kik username to be invited.

Come join us!

[Rant] Just fucked up majorly, feel crap!
/u/AwlaysForgettings [6ft | 149lb | 19.43 | -75lb | Male]
Created: Sat Feb 6 20:02:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44jnnu/just_fucked_up_majorly_feel_crap/
---
I've posted / lurked here under various throwaways that I always forget the PW's too......

Gone from 230lbs to 149.. and well... it has been downhill (or maybe uphill..) from here, I can't keep those fucking calories down, I was able to lose at 1200 calories before with no problem for like 6 months but now I am much lighter I keep having maintaining days at 2000 and then woosh I fuck em up, I just binge ate a whole pack of chocolate biscuits, like 1000 calories, I am destined to be fat again.

I keep thinking in my head that since I am 6ft and male that I 'need' more calories but then woosh I binge like a fat pig and the day is ruined so I just eat more and more ffs.

Any tips? Thinking of doing a liquid fast, coffee with milk allowed etc to kinda press the reset button and put a major dent in the damage i've done....

[Rant] This post is for my beautiful wife who supports me so well! /s
/u/free2bthin
Created: Sat Feb 6 18:17:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44j8ey/this_post_is_for_my_beautiful_wife_who_supports/
---
We were at a restaurant and I had planned to order a dish I love that I could have a little bit of and split it throughout the week so I wouldn't be eating it all at once.

Well, that lasted all of 5 minutes.

I ate almost the whole damn thing and it filled me up so much I was getting nauseous. I commented to my wife that I was probably going to go home and throw all this up (because I was over full not as a purge).

She says "if you become anorexic or bulimic on me, I'm leaving you, I'm not gonna stand for that".

#:*/*

Great. She doesn't know how deep this whole thing goes in my mind. She thinks I'm doing it "to shrink my stomach so I'm not tempted to eat as much".

Now between today and the binge I *know* I'm gonna have tomorrow because I'm feeling down about my binge today, I'm planning on water fasting for the entire week, that's *my* purge.

But now what? Tell her and have her start trying to shove recovery down my throat before my weight has gone any where near being low enough to recover from? Or live in misery knowing I'm hiding a large part of who I am afraid one day she'll realize?

**TL;DR: ** The title was sarcasm and my wife threatened to leave me if I "become anorexic or bulimic."

So to my wife, should she find this throwaway: Take a long walk of a short pier!

[Tip] Neat website I like. Men's side available as well, unfortunately not as many photos as the women's side.
/u/sewnp [168cm | GW:90lbs | NB]
Created: Sat Feb 6 17:33:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44j1rd/neat_website_i_like_mens_side_available_as_well/
---
http://www.mybodygallery.com/

Irrational frustration...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 6 17:13:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44iyp7/irrational_frustration/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] How much control do you have over your refrigerator?
/u/bigmansam [5'3 |120 | 22.0| 4 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 16:53:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ivjj/how_much_control_do_you_have_over_your/
---
I have noticed that many people on this sub seem to be on the younger side and for this reason it is likely that you share your refrigerator with other people. These people likely stock your refrigerator/closet/freezer with "binge-pits." Ice cream, micro-wave burritos, chips, fattening pastas.

This is a huge problem for many of us, I believe. I find myself behaving like the perfect abstinance angel when it comes to food all day, but at night time I am, like many of us, over taken by this monstrous food zombie. A quick trip to the kitchen for a glass of water can ocassionally result in the complete posession of my body by this zombie. I can't fight it. The zombie sees something easily accessible on the shelf and it begins jamming it into my mouth, until X number of calories later I take control again and I feel like a horror show because I can't even guess how many trillions of pounds I have just uncontrollably jammed into my face.

I now have a policy of controlling my refrigerator instead of letting it control me.

My refrigerator is full of carrots, bagged lettuce, celery, broth, oranges, apples, peas, beet-roots, and all things of low calorie counts.

Imagine a midnight binge in this scenario. Frantically jamming fistfulls of spinach into your mouth doesn't produce the same anxiety when you come back to Earth as finding your binge zombie has microwaved 87 burriots.

Throw out the binge pits. If you find your family is dedicated to stocking unhealthy, tempting binge pits everywhere, appeal to their health. Appeal to your desire for their longevity. Get them on board with removing all binge pits.

Let us control our refrigerators and our bodies, instead of vice-versa.

[Rant] I can't do this anymore.
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 117.8 lbs | 21.5 | -13.8 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 16:09:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44iokc/i_cant_do_this_anymore/
---
I'm always being fought with for no reason. I can't ever make anyone happy so how the hell can I ever be happy with myself? Now I have plans with a friend in an hour and a half. We were originally supposed to grab something to eat but I told him I'm in a terrible mood and can't eat now. So he suggested just grabbing coffee. I'm just going to get an unsweetened tea and put an organic sweetener in. At least I'll be forced to put on a happy face but I don't know what I'm going to do when I get home. I thought I was feeling happy and getting better but apparently not. I just want to end this depression forever.

WARNING!! On this site a lot of people who want to find a sexy adventure
/u/25Fyrl67
Created: Sat Feb 6 15:00:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44idli/warning_on_this_site_a_lot_of_people_who_want_to/
---
[removed]

[Help] I feel sick
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | CW: 105 | 20.1 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 13:25:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44hyb3/i_feel_sick/
---
This morning I woke up at 5:45, went to the gym for an hour and then got Starbucks (I used to work there, went to see friends). I got home feeling great and productive, I made an appointment to give blood and to get my hair cut and did my laundry for the week. Then I decided to bake blondies, which was a weird choice. I ate some batter and then ate some when they came out. I probably threw half the pan away I was so disgusted with myself. I know my boyfriend will be here soon and will try and make me eat more. I felt terrible after eating it and worked out for about 20 minutes before my stomach couldn't take it. I ended up taking a nap for an hour but now I'm awake and desperately want it to be gone. I took some laxatives but I want to throw up. I always try so hard to make myself throw up but I can't... I need help, can anyone give me some pointers on how to make it be gone? I'm such a failure, please help :(

[Rant] Binged today, feel like I'm living in purgatory
/u/nvrgonnaleavethisBED [5'10"|158.4|22.2| -19.4lb |F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 12:35:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44hq7m/binged_today_feel_like_im_living_in_purgatory/
---
I've been basically sitting around waiting for therapy (for a variety of things, not just the ED) the past few months and it offers too many moments that can trigger binges. Far far too many. Every day is spent bored to tears or in the middle of another episode due to my mental issues, and trying to ween yourself off food during it isn't easy.

The past two weeks I haven't binged, and today the urge was there and it felt so much worse for having been suppressed.

Thankfully, I've been keeping my calories in the low 300s this past week so this binge didn't even bring me back up to maintenance, but they usually result in me falling off the bandwagon altogether and I am so sick of my body I can't let that happen.

Anyone have anything I can do or learn or read or something to keep myself occupied? I'm already studying coding 2 hours a day, german for an hour, and learning to draw, but there's far too many hours in between with nothing to do and nowhere to go.

[Rant] I don't enjoy food anymore
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 6 11:39:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44hgpd/i_dont_enjoy_food_anymore/
---
I recognise that it can taste really good but the anxiety and guilt I feel negates everything else. Lunar New Year's Eve is tomorrow and I'm meeting my family for dinner.

Lunar New Year is a pretty big deal and it's one of the few times the whole family (including second cousins) get together... My mum already knows I'm obsessive about food, but allows it because she thinks it's a temporary diet. But I know she won't let that affect the New Year's meal this one time.

I'm going to stick to a lot of Chinese tea and take a tiny bit of every dish but spread it out on my plate, so it will look like I've tried everything and ate a lot. I'm planning to restrict heavily for the next week to make up for this weekend.

Today I had some strawberries with my Greek yogurt for breakfast and this immeasurable weight of guilt has been hanging around me all day. Rationally, I know that those strawberries won't do anything but I just hate the fact that I ate them.

Sorry I'm going off on a tangent now, but my knees feel week all the time. TMI, my period has shortened from a week to 2-3 days and is often late. I'm trying not to abuse laxatives but it's very hard for me, the other week I failed to go to the toilet for 5 days. I'm restless at night and now routinely wake up at around 4-5am.

And despite all of these signs, I feel like I've achieved nothing and lost no weight. Despite what the scales say, I believe I'm getting fatter and fatter as every day passes. I spend a lot of time now just looking at the mirror and pinching my fat...

I think the only way I can move forward now is by restricting even more. I need to at least cut out the days when I go above 700 calories. If I can keep to 0-600 calories from now on I'd feel a bit better.

Anyway, sorry for the rant... I'm just so worried about this weekend ahead of me.

[Discussion] This song speaks to me on so many levels. [Halsey: Control]
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 11:08:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44hbck/this_song_speaks_to_me_on_so_many_levels_halsey/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8V5dAli-Q

[Goal] Going to run for first time in like a year! What is your week's success story?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |98|16.9|-18 since 8/2016]
Created: Sat Feb 6 10:48:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44h83e/going_to_run_for_first_time_in_like_a_year_what/
---
Alright, I'm getting ready for a run. The laziness and depression has lifted a bit, and I'm feeling motivation run in my veins. My goal is just 3 miles even if I end up walking most of it. I am so out of shape, its sad... But this is a start.


What is your success story this week?

[Discussion] Painkillers?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Sat Feb 6 10:29:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44h4uu/painkillers/
---
Hi, I don't know when I heard about it, but I think someone once told me that painkillers can help with losing weight. Can anyone tell me something about it? What does it do? How does it work?

I am fully aware that taken painkillers everyday is bad for my health and that's not my plan. I'm more curious than anything.

[Rant] The last few days - bingeing, mother acknowledging eating habits, Honey BooBoo child, and Pavlok Primatene flagellation fest.
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 10:16:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44h2q4/the_last_few_days_bingeing_mother_acknowledging/
---
Hey all. Its been a tough weekend. Right now I'm waiting to open work. Tired, but the Primatene will knock that out soon.

So I got the call Thursday about my grandmother. I took the day off work and went to see her. She was awake, but struggling. We talked, and that racist old lady made me laugh so hard when she said that her ' oriental ' Dr was handsome. We shared a cookie, watched some Real Housewives, and I did her make up.

Mom and I went to grocery store. She made a comment in passing about my vegetarianism and calorie counting and being surprised I wasn't thinner. Hurt. Binged.

I stayed with my mother over night. The call came. I ate. It's not what I wanted to do with her memory.

Went home yesterday evening. Got dressed. Laid in bed a minute. Went out. Friends were playing a show. Lots of smiles but I just couldn't do it. I wanted to binge. I had to step outside to stop me grabbing food off other people's plates. I drank and I drank and I drank and I cried.

Woke up. I'm okay. Got to work. Small binge. Under 400kcal. Pavlok back on. Can't seem to manage this otherwise. Primatene, 3 pills. Caffeine, 88mg. Watching Mama June Cooks. Zap myself when I remember the food in me. Zap when I want more. Zap when Im not repulsed by her cooking.

Have my oxy prescription waiting at home. Whiskey. Boyfriend.

Feeling weak. Family heart defect takes one more. Great grandmother. Grandmother. One more then me.

No caffeine and no smoking and no stress.

Working on it.

Kinda.

[Help] How to deal with a friend's triggering comments?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 6 09:43:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44gx9b/how_to_deal_with_a_friends_triggering_comments/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Feb 6 09:02:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44gr2t/daily_food_diary_february_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] My head is a minefield
/u/dtrh78 [5'4'' | 133.2 | 23.31 | -11.8 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 08:49:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44gp6y/my_head_is_a_minefield/
---
I guess this is an intro. I was diagnosed almost 7 years ago. I'm supposed to be the poster child for recovery right now. I'm supposed to be the girl that ~overcame~. I do talks in support groups and my mom works with a foundation. But I'm slipping and I'm not doing anything to stop it. I've had so many triggering experiences in the last few months that it's just impossible to ignore now. I miss this little thing of mine that gave me purpose and comfort. I miss being numb.

So, here I am. Somewhere in the middle ground between relapse and recovery. This excruciating limbo where down is up and up is down and losing feels like winning and winning feels like losing. I don't know what I want right now but I know it's probably not going to be good.

[Rant] Eating with others (rant-ish)
/u/Banshee__Queen [5'2" | 93.95| 17.38 | -1.05 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 08:38:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44gniw/eating_with_others_rantish/
---
Today I was making breakfast and bumped into a roommate and we started talking and offered me some waffles. I absolutly detest pancakes but I thought okay sure. I didn't meet my calorie goal yesterday so eating this won't kill me, right?

So he started making his waffles but the process wanted to make me sick. So much sugar and butter he used: I'm sure it was at least 500 cals of butter he added to it. I know I said I wanted some but then I really wanted to be sick. But fine, whatever. I didn't want to suddenly say I'm sick while making my own food so I said to myself I'll suck it up this once, maybe go walking after to at least burn off those butter calories.

He finished, then added some ice-cream on top as well. And offered me it. I wanted to die. So my plan was to eat half the waffle and leave the ice cream but he watched me and urged me to eat all of it. Saying stuff like "don't worry, you're so thin anyway I don't think it's possible for you to get fat!"

I ate it all. And my stomach felt like it was going to die. Even if I forgot the calorie count, the amount of butter and sugar in there was at diabetic levels. I actually left for my room after and cried. I don't know how Nagy calories that was.. 500 at least, probably more. I know I can not eat much the rest of the day and be okay, but I feel so horrible. That eating greasy pancakes is considered "normal", that that's what I'm supposed to be eating like. And my breakfast was so little "not even a mouse would feel full,"

I don't hate him, because he's really nice and sweet, but words like these hurt. That I'm wrong for trying to eat healthily, that the only way is to eat junk like that, for breakfast. I don't know. It happened almost 3 hours ago now and I still feel so sick and useless. Each day brings me so close to total relapse that I'm scared.

[Rant] Family came in to the restaurant I work...
/u/fattywantsfood [5'9" | embarassing | +38.8 | F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 07:17:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44gcof/family_came_in_to_the_restaurant_i_work/
---
This mother comes in with three sons. All of them are overweight, especially the mother. She orders a ridiculous amount of food to go. Like a medium pizza for each of them. Then she see's that we sell 20 oz. sodas to go and asks all her sons what they want. One says no.

"Are you sure?"

"yes"

"I'm getting one, X is getting one, Y is getting one..."

"No"

"Look! they have orange soda"

*shakes head*

"are you sure?"

She must have asked this poor kid 5 times. I just wanted to yell "HE DOESNT WANT THE FREAKING SODA!! NONE OF YOU SHOULD BE GETTING IT!!"

The will power of that boy... That's my thinspiration today.

[Thinspo] Motivation!
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.50 cm| 88 lbs |15.79| -30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Feb 6 06:45:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44g8ot/motivation/
---
http://imgur.com/JieEq9y

GOP wants end to pro-Bush attacks on Rubio
/u/Tommiyal
Created: Sat Feb 6 05:55:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44g2to/gop_wants_end_to_probush_attacks_on_rubio/
---
http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/268457-gop-wants-end-to-pro-bush-attacks-on-rubio

[Thinspo] What types of thinspo inspire you the most?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 6 04:13:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44fta8/what_types_of_thinspo_inspire_you_the_most/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Giving yourself an ED?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 6 03:42:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44fqht/giving_yourself_an_ed/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Everyone I've ever cared about leaves me. I'd like to disappear now. Take a hiatus from this fucking world.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Feb 6 00:19:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44f8jj/everyone_ive_ever_cared_about_leaves_me_id_like/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] 3000+ calories later, and I still feel empty, physically and emotionally.
/u/thetempestinme [5'8" | 135 | 19.72 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 23:58:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44f6dg/3000_calories_later_and_i_still_feel_empty/
---
I realise now that I am just punishing myself with binges. Some people self harm with razors, drugs or alcohol. I hate myself, so I hurt myself on purpose with food, because being skinny is all I actually ever cared about.

I just ate 3000+ calories and I could keep going, despite the distended stomach, the pain and the humiliation. I don't even enjoy what I'm eating.

Just needed to offload. I have no one else to vent to about it.

Hopefully tomorrow, I can wake up not feeling so hopeless and useless.

[Help] I think I gave myself away before I had an ED......help with distant parents??
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 5 23:42:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44f4ny/i_think_i_gave_myself_away_before_i_had_an_edhelp/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] comments on weight loss (+intro?)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 5 23:01:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44f0b2/comments_on_weight_loss_intro/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I want to call off my wedding but I know I'm just being irrational.
/u/pointmass [5'6" | 108.4 lbs | 17.47 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 21:36:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44epnk/i_want_to_call_off_my_wedding_but_i_know_im_just/
---
My BF and I are set to get married later this year. But I want to call off the wedding, or at least put it off for a bit until I feel more ready. I have not done any planning so there isn't any harm in cancelling. In the same time, I understand that he's probably the best one I've got and I should probably keep him around.

I feel like he's still hung up with his first girlfriend many years ago, who left him when he was vulnerable. He's kind of a hopeless romantic. He's sweet, compassionate, and loving. But deep down I think he is still in love with her. His best friend kept updating my BF with this girl's updates (pictures and such), which just keeps her on his mind all the time. I feel so upset. And he told me I have no right to be jealous. When he told me that, I suddenly lost interest in my favorite candy that I was eating at the time. I put the rest away.

I don't know. I don't know if I will ever feel secure enough. I trust him. However, he kept comparing himself to this guy his ex was with, saying how much better he is than that guy... It really hurts.

I told him I'd be OK just being engaged for a long time. Marriage is just a piece of paper anyway; commitment is what's really important. But he says he wants to get married.

[Rant] Chinese New Year Rant/Help
/u/TakeItOneDayAtATime [5'2" | CW 110 | 20.84 | -3 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 21:16:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44en6e/chinese_new_year_ranthelp/
---
First time posting, but I've been lurking here for a while, and I love how inspiring and encouraging everyone always is here. So Chinese New Year is coming up, which means that I've got an entire weekend of eating and drinking scheduled already. I'm having that same feeling of dread I get around Thanksgiving and Christmas knowing that my willpower is going to run out. It's crazy how even college kids can be like Asian grannies when it comes to feeding each other homemade food.

On top of that, I just finished midterms week, so I've already stress-binged 2000+ calories at least once a day this week and not exercised at all, and midterms week: part ii is coming Monday. My face and my body feel so puffy and bloated, and I'm too scared to weight myself now and I just want to get back on track.

I definitely notice that restricting for a couple of days in a row makes it feel natural, but it's so hard to break the binge cycle I have going right now. While I know I should just try to eat at maintenance and enjoy the weekend with friends, I'm scared that at this point any eating will lead to a binge. I'm definitely going to restart exercising this weekend though, because even if I eat back most of those calories it always makes me feel more positive about myself. Anyone have other tips?

[Help] My family is onto me
/u/Idkanymorethrow
Created: Fri Feb 5 21:09:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44em84/my_family_is_onto_me/
---
I've lost 16 pounds in a month from restricting, and my family has started to worry. I live with my parents and sister. They've been making little comments on how I have to be careful to not lose too much weight and to make sure I'm eating. They all know I've had struggles with eating disorders almost my whole life. My sister straight up told me I was anorexic when I told her I felt anxiety over the food that my boyfriend was gonna cook for me. She's getting her masters in nutrition and does counseling so she's good at spotting things. She's been supportive of me losing weight in the past so I didn't think she would get worried when I talked about it. She's also trying to lose weight so I thought she could relate. That was a big mistake. My second mistake is that I've been very excited about losing weight. I'm gonna stop talking about it. I've been able to avoid eating by saying that I ate at work (I work at a restaurant) or with my boyfriend. Some days I've been able to have a complete fast by lying like this. I'm pretty sure they know my eating disorder is back, and don't really know how to throw them off. I've tried to eat in front of them whenever I eat, and I've been putting wrappers and stuff in my room to make it look like I'm eating. What are some other things I can do? And sorry for not flairing, I'm on mobile and I don't know how to do it from here.

[Rant] Overate but not letting myself binge
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |98|16.9|-18 since 8/2016]
Created: Fri Feb 5 20:32:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ehd0/overate_but_not_letting_myself_binge/
---
On mobile so I can't flair but this is just a rant.

It was so hard to do it...not binge, that is. I ate 800 calories today and the fullness made it tempting to say screw it, I'll just binge and purge. But I'm in bed now. I'm not letting purging be an option which will hopefully get me to stop thinking binging is an option. I have to remember that stopping a binge early is always better than giving up, eating more and purging. I probably would've retained more calories

[Tip] Some vegan/vegetarian "safe" foods
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 19:59:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ecz9/some_veganvegetarian_safe_foods/
---
* Vegetable packet soup (50ish calories)
* Blueberries punnet (40)
* Strawberries handful (50)
* Black coffee (0)
* Rice cake (20-50 depending)
* Baby carrot (5)
* Veggie sushi pack (50-200)
* Vegan sausage (100)


These are the foods I like to eat frequently and help keep me under 400 :)

[Help] Help me be strong y'all!
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 115| 21.79| F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 19:58:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ecrz/help_me_be_strong_yall/
---
Can't flair cuz I'm on mobile, sorry.

I ate a big burrito for lunch because I thought I had class tonight and I don't feel pressured into eating dinner.

Well class got canceled. I went to my grandma's to pick up my mail. And she gave me a bag of homemade chocolate chip cookies. Help...

Then I came home and my boyfriend has pizza. Double help.... I took one bite of his slice but I told him I'm still full from lunch (which I am).

I don't wanna binge on all this crap but it's so hard to resist. I need help staying strong :(

[Rant] weekend stress
/u/immadeof_wax
Created: Fri Feb 5 18:44:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44e2pt/weekend_stress/
---
So this is really just a rant, because my best friend has been all over my ass lately about my eating- she came to visit me last weekend and noticed i had literally spinach in my fridge and thats it. And i'm going to visit her tomorrow and were going to see book of mormon, which is was super excited about but she spent all this morning telling me how she knew i had an eating disorder. SO now i know the main portion of tomorrow will be spent with her trying to guilt me into eating and so on...I haven't eaten all day today in prep of tomorrow and i'm going to the gym tonight when i'm off work. But fuck. I just wanted a nice night where I could focus on something other then how much of a fucking whale I am and now I wont be able to

[Discussion] My boyfriendish thing offered me pizza
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 54kg ; 18.7 | GW 50.2kg ; 17.4 | -2lbs | f]
Created: Fri Feb 5 17:20:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44dqm0/my_boyfriendish_thing_offered_me_pizza/
---
Okay this is a rant and a personal pity post but, like, you people are my only ED community outreach... and I'm stressed about pizza!! So: I ate a slice of pizza in front of or mutual friends because it was offered... and most of us know that kind of unavoidable social bonding bullshit, so I had to eat it (like actually had to or I'd look weird.. because I was sitting surrounded by five guys eating a whole box of pizza each. Actually. University. And I'm the thinnest and leanest female in our friend group and I don't want to appear like I have an ED... ) and now I feel REALLY annoyed because I walked for 45 minutes today, worked out, ate liquefied cucumber for breakfast, chugged coffee and it was all unceremoniously dedicated towards a 380 calorie slice of pizza. I had to log it. I was tapping furiously on my phone in front of them, hiding the screen with my hand. My stats are still at -600 calories, so sure that's great - I worked hard today - bbbbbut we are drinking tonight and my allotted alcohol amount is 430 calories (a lot, I know, it was hopefully less because I WAS empty) plus I chewed a lot of gum today (extra calories)... Im so sad... I know he offered it to me because I was the only one not scarfing breadcheesemeat in my face, but I feel as if I could have had excuses. The only good thing was knowing that I didn't /want/ the pizza; I noticed that I didn't want to eat the crust. As I was eating I was sad. And this sucks because its not my fault - it wasn't even binge-emotionless/happy feeling, In hindsight I could have said no because of the pepperoni (casual vegan-until-offered-otherwise lifestyle) but my thoughts were all, hidetheED hidetheED so fuck. I hate when people eat beside me in the library, I hate when I can smell food - because to my brain thats inconsiderate to the secret fact it makes me uncomfortable, but this was "nice"... and didn't benefit me in any way.

tl;dr yo pizza is 380 calories and that was my one meal today and I hate that I ate it

Edit mobile no flair no care

[Discussion] Who else has ADHD...and fucking loves their meds?
/u/Lupish_Ah [6'1 130 18.0 -7 M]
Created: Fri Feb 5 16:32:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44dizi/who_else_has_adhdand_fucking_loves_their_meds/
---
So I've got pretty severe adhd. I can never focus, and at best if I'm off my meds I can focus on a conversation for like 2 minutes at most.

The reason I'm putting this on here is mostly because, for those of you that don't know, the medication for adhd is an amphetamine. This means that when you take it, it sipresses part of your brain to help you focus, and in turn supresses your appetite.

As a result, I'm almost never hungry. Craving are pretty fleeting and easy to control. Has anyone else experienced it like this? What are your thoughts?

[Rant] Chest pain
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 13:54:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ctjr/chest_pain/
---
Chest pain has always been a constant in my life. I've had chest pains for years, even when I was healthy. I've seen a cardiologist and had a bunch of tests, but they never found anything wrong with me.

Lately my chest pains are getting worse, but I'm scared to tell anyone because they'll make me go to the hospital and they'll find nothing wrong with me.

Right now, I'm having some pretty bad chest pains, they are different than my usual pains. I don't know what to do. I'm kind of hoping today is the day I have a heart attack.

Edit: thanks for the concern. My chest pain went away, so no heart attack today

[Discussion] As my weight keeps dropping I feel fatter
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Feb 5 13:46:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44cs46/as_my_weight_keeps_dropping_i_feel_fatter/
---
Does anyone experience this as well? I have lost around 10lb now and I feel worse about my body. I just really can't see it. Not when I'm looking at older pictures of me, not in the mirror and nobody around me seems to notice it. I went down from a BMI of 22 to 20.7.. It's so weird.

[Discussion] I'm sure it's probably bullshit, but has anyone ever tried the potato diet?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer [5'4" | 165lbs | -40 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 13:10:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44clyu/im_sure_its_probably_bullshit_but_has_anyone_ever/
---
So apparently if you just eat a bunch of potatoes everyday, you can lose a bunch of weight quickly. Anyone ever tried it?

Edit: [This silliness.](http://www.20potatoesaday.com/)

[Discussion] Hello everyone!
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Fri Feb 5 12:19:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44cdcr/hello_everyone/
---
Is there still a kik group? I'd love to join in that case. Just because it's easier than posting on here sometimes


Can't flag, mobile atm

[Discussion] What do you guys put in plain oatmeal?
/u/pointmass [5'6" | 108.4 lbs | 17.47 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 12:19:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44cdb7/what_do_you_guys_put_in_plain_oatmeal/
---
I'm thinking about switching my breakfast oatmeal to plain oatmeal instead of the "brown sugar and cinnamon" packet (reduced sugar version). What do you guys put in the oatmeal? I have ground cinnamon, and Splenda. Would this work to create similar taste?

[Discussion] Hi ladies :)
/u/bellasrose [5'3.5" | 125 | 22.31 new calc | -32 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 11:53:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44c8t2/hi_ladies/
---
So I've been lurking for a while and started commenting yesterday so I figure I should probably introduce myself.

So I'm 24 and have been dealing with ed issues since I was 11. Started with purging that turned into ana at 14, I got down to 100 lbs before my mom got on me and since I'm terrified of her I started eating. Kind of morphed into ednos, back and forth fasting and binging and purging and laxative abuse. I worked Mt way up to 142 when I was 20 and started restricting again. I got back down to 125 when I left the house, ended up in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic and started drinking heavily. A year later I was at my Hw of 157, right on the borderline of obesity. I've been bouncing down and up since then with my ednos and bulimia though I haven't reached 150 again since and I haven't been 140 in 2 years. I've been doing well restricting lately, finally finding my groove again, I very rarely purge or use laxatives. I'll be 25 in April and I'm setting a low goal of 110. Last month I got down to 113 and ended up in a binge cycle while trying not to purge, 3 days ago I was 130 again and damn near lost it, yesterday I was 125 (I need to change my flair) and I'll weigh again next wednesday. I've been doing well these past few days though, drinking tea all day and not eating till I get home late at night. Kind of a 23:1 fasting schedule.

Anyways, I'm glad to be apart of this group. You ladies are so supportive. I hope I can support you too :)

[Discussion] Dating while restricting--share your experiences
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Feb 5 11:46:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44c7id/dating_while_restrictingshare_your_experiences/
---
I've just started dating someone for the first time in over a year and I'm worried that they'll be turned off if they find out I'm restricting.


I'm curious about your experiences with dating while restricting. Do you hide it? If so how? If your SO knows about your ED how does it affect your relationship?


Sucks to feel like I'm just going from one form of undateable (fat) to another form (ED).

[Help] Had to get my nutrients up for a blood test; where to go from here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 5 10:51:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44bxtl/had_to_get_my_nutrients_up_for_a_blood_test_where/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I need help.
/u/A_is_for_apple [5'5.5 | 111 | 18.2 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 10:36:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44bv5w/i_need_help/
---
Guys. I need help getting back on track. I'm embarrassed to even update my stats. I was down to 109 in August and now I'm back up to a grotesque 126. The worst part is I have NO control! I binge and purge anywhere between 2-8 times a day. And most of the time, my binges would SHOCK most people. I'm talking like...4,000-7,000 calorie binges in one sitting.


Help :(

[Thinspo] "Hunger - Save me" Personal Bonespo by DietSodaAddict
/u/DietSodaAddict [5'6"|100|16.4|LW:94|Male]
Created: Fri Feb 5 09:09:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44bgr1/hunger_save_me_personal_bonespo_by_dietsodaaddict/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Qido5

[Discussion] Has anyone here gotten hospital skinny (BMI under 13) starting after age 30?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 5 09:06:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44bgae/has_anyone_here_gotten_hospital_skinny_bmi_under/
---
[removed]

[Tip] Warning about laxatives!!
/u/acadavia [5'3"| 90.6 | 16.01 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 09:03:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44bftt/warning_about_laxatives/
---
This is probably already common sense to everyone and I'm just an idiot, but if you're using laxatives, please be very cautious when choosing your dose.

This might be a little TMI, but not like super gross or anything...

I don't normally purge and it wasn't my intention to purge by taking them, I just wanted to poop. I've been restricting to 700 cal, so I wasn't sure if I was constipated or I just wasn't going to the bathroom a lot because I didn't need to as much, but it had been a while. So, I decided to take a laxative. First I did some googling to find out if anything bad would happen if I took it without really needing to take it, and the answer seemed to be a unanimous "no." Everything I read seemed to indicate that laxatives just gently soften your stool, and if you don't have very much to soften then they don't do anything.

On the box, it said "gentle relief" and that an adult dose is 1-3 tablets. So, I took one tablet and waited for a few hours and noting happened. Then I took another tablet and waited for another few hours. Nothing. So, I took a third.

I don't want to appear over dramatic, but what happened wasn't "haha I had to poop a lot" bad, it was "this is probably doing permanent damage to my internal organs" bad. I haven't been that sick since I had food poisoning ten years ago. I was boiling hot all over my body, I was extremely nauseous, my stomach felt like it was being ripped apart, and I was so light headed I could barely sit up without feeling like I was going to pass out. The only thing I could do was lay on my cold bathroom floor for an hour without moving, then crawl to the kitchen on my hands and knees just to get a glass of water. It was probably in the top three most painful things I've ever experienced. I thought I might need to go to the hospital.

Anyways, I just wanted to put this out there so that it doesn't happen to other people, because all of my googling and reading the box and prior knowledge made me think that I would be fine, and I genuinely had no idea it could be so bad. In movies when people take too many laxatives they're just stuck on the toilet for a long time and they poop a lot, they don't get actually sick. Please be careful!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 5 09:02:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44bflw/daily_food_diary_february_05_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] Friday fast! !
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 150lbs|23.53|-34.5lbs|F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 07:59:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44b5u9/friday_fast/
---
It's a sunny clear day in California and after 2 days of depression binge eating I have decided to do my first 72 hour fast.
I ate at 6pm yesterday, and I will eat again Sunday at 7. I'd like to go to Monday at 7pm.

I am hoping the fast will break my depression.

Any weekend plans lovelies?

Edit: end of day 1. I had an iced coffee at 100cal. I guess that makes it a liquid fast now? Or a modified fast? I was dealing with too many crazies at work and needed to have my wits (I work in an industry where we have a lawyer on constant retainer do saying something wrong could get me in a lot of trouble) and calm mind set. Now to do school work and prepare for day 2.

[Discussion] Non-scale ways of measuring progress?
/u/floweredfox [5'1" | 126 | 23.8 | -28lbs | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 06:47:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44avlt/nonscale_ways_of_measuring_progress/
---
I don't have regular access to a scale. I would buy a scale, but I don't want to raise suspicions. So, I have been measuring my waist and hips in order to keep track. Supposedly, 1 inch off the waist is about 10 lbs. This seems to be pretty accurate, since I have lost around 22 pounds and my waist has gone down about 2 inches. Does anyone else use non-scale ways to keep track? What are they?

[Discussion] In a 2 month time span, what's the most you ever lost?
/u/firegem7
Created: Fri Feb 5 06:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44aruz/in_a_2_month_time_span_whats_the_most_you_ever/
---
And what did you do? I'm trying to a significant amount of weight by the first week of April. So curious about other people's routines.

[Thinspo] Nela Zisser
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 06:05:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44aqht/nela_zisser/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Defzm

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! February 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Feb 5 05:02:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44ajhe/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_february_05/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for February 05, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if they are banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] Starting over.
/u/firegem7
Created: Fri Feb 5 04:36:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44agpv/starting_over/
---
Tomorrow I'm starting a very strict regime that will include using EC stacks. I'm tinkering with the idea of making a blog on Wordpress to keep my progress detailed and documented. I'll be posting links to each entry, which will hopefully be daily.

So. Wish me luck!

Just got some new shoes to improve my running! Also, if you're a bad runner, like myself, you'll find Couch to 5K and decent app to help you. I'm starting it over tomorrow and will be running twice a day.

Yeah. And that's all this morning!

[Help] Is this logical? Or will I still gain?
/u/Betweengreen [5'2.5" | 103 | 19.13 | -17 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 04:29:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44afzb/is_this_logical_or_will_i_still_gain/
---
So this week I did really well, and I reached my UGW of 97.6 lbs (averaged about 98.5 after weighing myself 3x a day for a 3 days in a row lol) but STILL I saw that number on the scale once.

Today I messed up because my fiancƩ took me out to an anniversary dinner. I drank pretty much a whole bottle of wine, ate a high calorie entree, and then split cheesecake AND chocolate cake with him for dessert. I threw up at the restaurant but probably not enough.

When I got home, I ate a cup of ice cream and some tortilla chips because I was drunk and had lost all inhibition.

About an hour later, I realized my bad my fuck up was and I weight myself: 103lbs. That's at least 5 pounds of food in my tummy. I forced myself to throw up for like an hour until I weighed 101... Then took 4 laxative pills.

I hate purging but I just had to. Now I'm wondering if I let the food sit too long or if I really might have gotten most of it out... Is it possible to gain actual fat from one binge day ??? I'm freaking out and so angry that I ruined my awesome progress :(

[Discussion] An older (2014) article. As if I needed another reason to not eat carbs, this kinda seals the deal for me.
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 118.0 | 20.65 | 107 | F]
Created: Fri Feb 5 04:01:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44adag/an_older_2014_article_as_if_i_needed_another/
---
https://munchies.vice.com/en/articles/theres-human-hair-in-your-bread

[Thinspo] Violet Ell is pure thinspo
/u/DisorderAlt
Created: Fri Feb 5 03:28:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44aa4j/violet_ell_is_pure_thinspo/
---
https://imgur.com/bkLNI2o&Mjq0CjG&W3ptTxb&G8OtyzV&CcLyEzi&L7QeJux&LEQw5UF&TB4cGYY&NSuz2dp&lEWzaRG

[Thinspo] Violet Ell is pure thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Feb 5 03:25:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44a9xd/violet_ell_is_pure_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/bkLNI2o

[Discussion] Hey there
/u/immadeof_wax
Created: Thu Feb 4 23:53:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/449ps0/hey_there/
---
Hi all you beautiful tiny people, i've been lurking around here on my main for a while now and i had a really good day today so i thought now is as good a time as ever to finally introduce myself. I'm not quite sure what else to say haha...but you are all so lovely, thank you for being you <3

[Help] I'm hungry and can't sleep or stay asleep
/u/pointmass [5'6" | 108.4 lbs | 17.47 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 23:47:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/449p45/im_hungry_and_cant_sleep_or_stay_asleep/
---
So I'm here laying in bed at 12:30 am... My stomach is rumbling and I can't sleep. I ate over 1,200 calories today so I know I shouldn't really be this hungry. (BF took me to honey baked ham and I ate a whole sandwich!! Ah so mad at myself.)

Also I woke up at 5:00 am in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep because I was so hungry... I closed my eyes and laid in bed until my alarm went off at 6:00 am. So I only had about 5 hours of sleep last night.

What should I do? I don't want to eat. I can't drink water because it keeps me up at night going to the bathroom.

[Discussion] No appetite lately
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 23:26:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/449mqr/no_appetite_lately/
---
[deleted]

My grandmother died. I binged.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 23:25:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/449mo0/my_grandmother_died_i_binged/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Getting people off my back.
/u/squeechme
Created: Thu Feb 4 22:56:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/449j7d/getting_people_off_my_back/
---
So, after Christmas I started losing weight again. I'd spent time with my family and obviously being hard to avoid food with them, I gained weight over the holidays. I was still only part time at work. Fine. Soon after January started, the weight loss started.

I dropped out of college and asked work for my full-time hours back. My manager was super supportive and even offered to get me onto courses for promotion, so life's super good.

Being back full-time at work means it's so much easier to skip meals. Don't eat breakfast, chain-smoke and binge on green tea in my half hour lunch break spent alone, and when I get home I'm too tired to bother with dinner. However, in a short space of time I lost 8lbs, so people started noticing.

I went to the pub with a couple of colleagues and one asked me if I'd eaten that day, because he was suspicious and I was clearly getting tipsy much quicker than everyone else. I just said from the sudden change in lifestyle and extra exercise I've been simply forgetting to eat, and not feeling hungry. He "hmm"ed at me and left it at that. Later on, I'm another half a beer down, he murmurs to me that he can give me a lift home and he wants to stop off at the store on the way, and he'd feel better if I bought myself some things I could eat easily while we're there. I nod, ask if he's sure he's happy to give me a lift home, and agree to go to the store because of course I don't have a problem, mate. I'm just forgetful. Thanks for the reminder.

I haven't actually weighed myself in a while (my scales are broken and I haven't got around to replacing them) but the shorts I wear pretty much all the time were always a little too big for me, but now they make no attempt to sit on my hips at all and fall straight down. I tried wearing them with a belt but my belts are too big as well. It's a shame, they're one of my favourite items of clothing.

This colleague is giving me a lift to work this morning. It's not even 6am and I've already eaten a salad so that when he asks me if I've eaten I can say yes. I can't lie. I've eaten sometimes just to appease others. I'm still surprised every time I notice I'm smaller. I tell people that I'm outraged, I should be gaining weight, not losing even more! I feel that I should, because it feels like I eat too much. I really don't, by normal people standards. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I don't know how much more I can pretend.

[Help] So close...
/u/wishfulthinkings
Created: Thu Feb 4 22:35:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/449gnc/so_close/
---
I've never managed to be able to fast before, not even for just one day. I always fucking cave in and eat something. Everyday I try and everyday I fail. I always stay within my caloric goals, so I'm not failing in that sense. But damnit, I just want to succeed once with a fast.


Today, I am so close. I haven't had a single bite to eat today. I'm sitting in my home waiting for my partner to come home. I'm so close to caving. I really want to eat something. So badly...



I don't want to sleep yet though because my partner wanted to hang out for a couple hours before we head to bed. I need help, I don't want to cave...

[Help] Help with not binging
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | 154 | -12 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 21:20:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4496oz/help_with_not_binging/
---
The later I wait to eat in a day, the less bingey I am in a day. Like, if I give in and eat a big breakfast, then I binge all day. BUT if I wait until like 2 pm to eat, I can't seem to get full. Like, eating triggers a binge. So I end up binging for the rest of the day. I really want to be able to eat breakfast, does anyone have a trick to 'reset' my internal hunger/food clock?

[Rant] Binging feels inevitable
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 58.8kg | 21.6 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 20:59:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4493xu/binging_feels_inevitable/
---
I'm so tired of b/p but I can't stop eating. I can't just have a little bit of food. I can't even have just a normal amount. I always go overboard and I always regret it and I always tell myself next time will be different and it always happens again. It doesn't even feel like a choice any more.

I feel terrible all the time. I'm always tired, my muscles are weak, I get out of breath easily, my teeth are yellow. I'm still fat. I can't fast without taking lots of drugs, which I can't get any more, and if I don't fast, I binge and purge. It never ends. How am I supposed to live like a normal person with all this?

[Help] Long time lurker, binged yesterday and today. How do you guys recover from this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 17:59:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/448dt6/long_time_lurker_binged_yesterday_and_today_how/
---
[deleted]

[Help] If I have a glass of bouillon is it still fasting?
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Thu Feb 4 17:28:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4488x8/if_i_have_a_glass_of_bouillon_is_it_still_fasting/
---
Can I still consider myself to have fasted today if I have a glass or two of bouillon? Or do I need to just have water?

I feel like my tongue is calling me to eat everything I could possibly put in my face.

Also, sorry if I'm posting too often, I kind of feel like I am.

[Thinspo] A little bit of thursday thinspo.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 16:57:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/448487/a_little_bit_of_thursday_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/I9fQp

[Rant] Just a random update I guess! Started the EC stack for real.
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 117.8 lbs | 21.5 | -13.8 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 16:05:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/447wo8/just_a_random_update_i_guess_started_the_ec_stack/
---
So today I started the EC stack for real. I took one Bronkaid (25mg? ephedrine) and drank one can of low carb Monster (140mg caffeine). I put a pepperoni calzone in the oven because my grandma bought it a few days ago (I've since told her PLEASE don't buy me anything like this anymore because I'd like to lose some weight), and I figured may as well eat it now and not let it go to waste. Well after it got out of the oven I had no desire to eat it. This was like 2-3 hours ago, and it's still sitting on my counter.... cold. It'll be thrown away. I'm upset I wasted it but I'm extremely excited I ended up having no desire to eat it!

The one side effect I've experienced was feeling jittery. I feel like this may be from the ephedrine or just the combination of it with caffeine, because one can alone of a caffeinated drink never makes me feel this way. So I took 1mg Xanax and I've since felt much better. I have to check my heart rate later because it felt racy to me when I felt jittery, and I naturally have tachycardia (heart rate usually sits around 110 a minute), so if it's still elevated in a bit I'll just take a beta blocker.

I gained roughly 3 pounds the last week or so from binging (and it's definitely fat gained, not water weight), I was 125.6 earlier this morning, so I feel extremely nervous. I've been in a decently good mood the past week, and unlike most people on here it seems, good moods are more likely to provoke binging and eating normally in general for me, and bad moods or depression cause me to find food disgusting, rather than the other way around. I guess if some people on here would like to know me a little better, I have a mild form of bipolar, I'm not crazy or anything I promise but my moods fluctuate very often, especially when triggered. I stopped taking my medication for a couple weeks, but today I started taking it again (Lexapro and Lamictal), so I should be in a more consistent better mood... so hopefully this EC stack will help me steer clear of eating much, because like I said good moods=more likely to eat for me.

Thanks for reading! Sorry if this was long. If anyone would like to let me know how they're doing, please comment! I'll be on later tonight. I love interacting with you guys but sadly I'm not very good at lurking through everyone's posts to comment [I'll definitely try harder though because I get a decent amount of replies on mine, and it's only fair if I return the favor and learn more about all of your lives:)!]

[Help] Intense binge urges...help me
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Feb 4 15:21:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/447pjf/intense_binge_urgeshelp_me/
---
Up until now it's been fairly easy to ignore my hunger & cravings but lately I have this gnawing urge to binge that won't go away. It's growing bigger and taking a bigger amount of willpower not to give in.

I've already upped my calories closer to my BMR, but I'm scared that one day I'm just going to break and balloon out of control. Anybody deal with this in a way that didn't involve massive backtracking?

[Discussion] Well! I didn't quit. So Day 3!
/u/firegem7
Created: Thu Feb 4 15:18:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/447owo/well_i_didnt_quit_so_day_3/
---
Today is Day 3. I might keep this a 14 day venture since I keep finding myself unable to workout due to weather and eating things I shouldn't because I'm put in awkward situations.

I took my first dose this morning, then posted I was quitting. My chest pain went away. Then I took another dose. Completely fine. Nothing.

I'm not sure that the Bronkaid had anything to do with the pain. It was only something I felt when I inhaled. And now it's gone.

It's POSSIBLY due to smoking...maybe. I don't know.

But so. No quitting. Gonna try this out for 14 days before I form a real opinion on it and weigh myself.

Stay tuned.

[Help] Advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 14:52:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/447kmc/advice/
---
[removed]

[Rant] How I'm feeling today lol
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer [5'4" | 165lbs | -40 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 14:44:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/447j7g/how_im_feeling_today_lol/
---
http://i.imgur.com/BuKswgN.png

[Discussion] How do you feel about zero-calorie artificial sweeteners?
/u/InTheMiddleOfSummer [5'4" | 165lbs | -40 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 14:28:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/447gf3/how_do_you_feel_about_zerocalorie_artificial/
---
I want to break my habit of craving sweet things so I want to avoid them. But using them helps me from eating worse things. Like a cup of sweetened milk is one of my favorite mid-day fillers. Keeps me from eating too much at lunch, but I feel like I should be able to just do it on my own. It feels like cheating.

[Rant] There's so much time in the day...I just count down the hours to go to sleep
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |98|16.9|-18 since 8/2016]
Created: Thu Feb 4 13:46:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/447901/theres_so_much_time_in_the_dayi_just_count_down/
---
I want to hardcore restrict to break into the 90s. It's hard. It's not even 3pm yet, and I just feel like there is so much time left. I have had a quest bar (200 calories) and some coffee with cream. I might have a protein shake, some greens and jello later, totaling under 400 calories. I know that's not THAT restrictive, but it sure feels like it.


I can't wait to get off of work, go home, color and watch some TV and just zone out until I can sleep. It...it gets easier, right? All I have been doing at work is refreshing this subreddit, calculating what my BMI will be at various weights and just other weight related things.

[Rant] My coworker doesn't understand thermodynamics.
/u/xerox13ster [5'9" | 287 | 41.3 | 0 | MtF]
Created: Thu Feb 4 13:19:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/447474/my_coworker_doesnt_understand_thermodynamics/
---
He told me if I don't eat my body is just gonna stay the same weight because it thinks I'm starving.

I'm not starving, my stomachs just empty. I'm happy it's empty and don't feel like filling it.

No energy in means no energy stored.

[Rant] I don't want to recover anymore
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 13:03:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4471jh/i_dont_want_to_recover_anymore/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] [Rant] When you just finished running 5 miles and your parents text you asking you to meet them for lunch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 12:23:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/446uln/rant_when_you_just_finished_running_5_miles_and/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I am a cow.
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 146 | 25.5 | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 12:10:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/446s9u/i_am_a_cow/
---
I've been on a liquid fast for the past couple days and I thought I should eat a little bit to keep up appearances around my friends but but of course I fucked up and ate 1200 CALORIES IN ONE SITTING. And now I'm just right back where I always am. A cow with no self control. ughhhhhh

[Discussion] [Discussion] I'd like to have a follow up conversation to the post yesterday about reverse thinspo. How does the sub feel about outright fat shaming?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 11:46:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/446o5i/discussion_id_like_to_have_a_follow_up/
---
A little background: I had been fairly active on this sub until about a week ago. There was an article about a fat woman posted that led to a lot of emotionally-charged comments. She said something that many people found insulting. One of the comments was from a mod and included the line:

>["Fuck them, and fuck that disgusting fat bitch."](https://np.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42tqlq/the_problem_with_how_we_look_at_fatness_in_one/czd1sye)

I've seen some fat shaming comments on the sub before but ignored them because, hey, we all have our moments. But seeing one from a mod really bothered me. A person who has been given the responsibility to set the tone for this sub was using body shaming language. I made some comments in that thread disagreeing with the anger towards this woman, but I think I did a good job of remaining civil. I walked away from the thread disappointed in the reactions, especially from the mods (others posted there as well), but figuring that it was just one of those posts that really got people worked up.

Then I got a PM from the mods the next day essentially telling me that some users found my anti-fat-shaming comments to be an assault on their feeling that this sub is a safe space. I'll post the full text of that message in the comments for other users to read and form their own opinion. My take-away is that this sub being a safe space means that bullying comments have to be allowed with no push back.

I disagreed with this view point and decided to stop participating as I don't care to take part in cruelty. I'm not interested in telling anyone what to do with their body any more than I'm interested in being told what to do with mine. If you want to be fat, so be it. I don't want to be and I might see your body and think "this is not how I want to look" but I'm not going to make bullying comments about your value as a human. There's already enough hate the world (and in my heart towards myself); I don't want to put any more out there. And if you love your body, good for you. I wish I could love mine too.

Problem is that I really love 99% of this sub. You all are so amazing and reading the posts here is a highlight of my day. I miss contributing.

So, TL;DR what I'm asking is does this sub agree with the mods? Do you think fat-shaming/body-shaming comments should be allowed. Further, should they be allowed with zero pushback? Certainly we can downvote and move on, but I think discussing these things is healthy. Like I said, we all have our moments, but I think that if we aren't allowed to say "hey, that wasn't nice", it becomes the same as telling that person that they are right to talk that way.


[Rant] [Rant] Close to my "goal"... except not
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 10:47:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/446dut/rant_close_to_my_goal_except_not/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] I got curious and compared my breakfast to my classmate's.
/u/allthatyouhave
Created: Thu Feb 4 10:16:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44686w/i_got_curious_and_compared_my_breakfast_to_my/
---
http://i.imgur.com/BQ10Jqh.jpg

[Thinspo] kittenthistles - a close friend of mine I met in treatment
/u/DietSodaAddict [5'6"|100|16.4|LW:94|Male]
Created: Thu Feb 4 10:07:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4466ks/kittenthistles_a_close_friend_of_mine_i_met_in/
---
https://www.instagram.com/kittenthistles/

I got curious and compared my breakfast to my classmate's.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Feb 4 10:04:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4465zt/i_got_curious_and_compared_my_breakfast_to_my/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Anorexia movies?
/u/alliealleyat
Created: Thu Feb 4 09:59:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44654c/anorexia_movies/
---
I've heard of movies about anorexia being a thing. Any favorites/recommendations?

Edit: so many of these! Thanks!

[Discussion] Tell me about your username. (Intro)
/u/my_yellow_bird [5'4ā€ | 194.2 | 33.99 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 09:57:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4464t6/tell_me_about_your_username_intro/
---
A lot of us have alternative usernames for his sub.

I know I do. My husband knows my main account and I wouldn't dare post this type of stuff on there. He knows I've been clinically diagnosed with an eating disorder (along with ocd, depression and anxiety). He knows that I have binge cycles and then cycles where I've been "eating good". He just doesn't know the depths of it and I don't want him too. Even through I suspect that he knows more than I think.

Anyway, so my username for this sub comes from a Bright Eyes song. Two actually, "We Are Nowhere and It's Now" and "Poison Oak".



"These bars are filled with things that kill.
By now you should have learned.
Did you forget that yellow bird?
But how can you forget that yellow bird?"
*We Are Nowhere And It's Now*



. "And I never thought this life was possible,
You're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for.
The end of paralysis, I was a statuette.
Now I'm drunk as hell on a piano bench,
And when I press the keys it all gets reversed
The sound of loneliness makes me happier."
*Poison Oak*

For me it signifies a bittersweet type of hope. I've been in this cycle my whole fucking life, but this is it, I'm done. I'm determined not to be who I was. This is my yellow bird. This is me giving up and giving in to the idea that I may never have a positive coping mechanism, but this is the one that I still have control over. I can't self harm and being drunk makes me fat, so do binges, this is it, this is my yellow bird.

This is my third time down this path and I feel good to be here.

So now you know what my username means, what does yours mean?

[Discussion] Superbowl Sunday
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 126.2 | 22.09 | -33lbs. | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 09:51:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4463op/superbowl_sunday/
---
This Sunday is the Superbowl. Americans all around this country will be getting together to do what we do best, sit on a couch and eat greasy, fatty food...I'm not a football fan, like at all, but my husband's family is all getting together, so I have to go. I'm planning ahead though. For my dish I'm bringing shrimp cocktails. 3 shrimp and a tablespoon of cocktail sauce is only 60 calories! I'm sure there will be a veggie tray too.

I thought it would be fun to share some low cal Superbowl recipes on here, in case anyone else has to go to one of these parties this weekend. Preparation is key!!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 4 09:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/445vg0/daily_food_diary_february_04_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant] Admitting you're bulimic, not anorexic.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Thu Feb 4 06:43:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/445all/admitting_youre_bulimic_not_anorexic/
---
... I can try and pretend I'm disciplined and higher than everyone else because I don't eat at school. But then I'll come and eat like a cow.

I can do intense exercise and tell my friends about it. But they don't know I do it just to desperately burn off that binge.

I can eat close to nothing for days on end, but then I'll eat everything for weeks.

I can come on Reddit, Proed and feel like that girl in an anorexia movie entering a site of skeleton beauties. But I'm a broken girl entering a site of broken girls.

I'm one of those stupid people everyone here hates. I *wanted to be anorexic*, and became a sad, purging, binge-ing mess.

[Goal] Broke my plateau!
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 135 lbs | 20.30 | -28 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 06:35:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4459hb/broke_my_plateau/
---
And am now at a total loss of 20 lbs! This feels amazing.

I was going to switch to weekly weigh-ins but I'm so glad I weighed today because this is just the boost I needed.

Also I just ordered my bridesmaid's dress for a wedding I'm in in May. It is a two piece with an exposed midriff and this little victory makes me feel like I can actually look good in it.

Hurray for breaking plateaus! What good little things are happening for you guys lately? Let's celebrate every little thing!


[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support February 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Feb 4 05:02:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/444z1y/weekly_emotional_support_february_04_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.

^Thanks ^to ^/u/InTheGecko ^for ^the ^concept ^of ^this ^weekly ^post!

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant] fml. (Update to telling therapist about ED.)
/u/Itsemurha
Created: Thu Feb 4 04:46:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/444xl9/fml_update_to_telling_therapist_about_ed/
---
I just need to rant after today. I made a post earlier about telling my therapist about my purging habits and shit has gotten overwhelming since.

After seeing her, I had to see yet another therapist yesterday who got really threatening with telling my doctor about it even though I had booked an appointment with her today. She kept repeating I had an eating disorder and lecturing me over and over like I didnā€™t fucking know already. She may as well have just started tattooing it to my forehead by the end I was so stressed out by her being so overbearing that I didnā€™t even get to properly talk about anything else like actual mental issues that could be causing it. She was pretty much forcing me at the end to say yes to telling my doctor about my issues because the letter that they would send out could possibly arrive too late (wtf)

Then fast forward to today, I go see my doc and tell her about it too and she was much nicer but during the conversation she kept saying that generally they donā€™t really worry too much about people with bulimia until about a year and a half of them purging (what.) and because I was only doing it for a year she wasnā€™t too worried. (Before I was purging, I was binging on foods excessively and very, very overweight. I would occasionally purge or fast then too but not on a regular basis like now)

Anyways, I had to get urgent blood tests done today and I am getting a call tomorrow from my doctor saying whether or not anything was abnormal. I also have to undergo an ECG test to make sure my heart isnā€™t kicking the bucket. She also diagnosed me as bulimic which I already knew but idk it's depressing to have that label on my records now.

Apparently if things are not looking good she will have to notify my mother about my problems which I have been hiding great until now. I am fucking pissed. I am 22 and my mother doesnā€™t need to know jack shit about my personal issues. Sheā€™s fucking horrible when it comes to any mental health and manipulates any situation so that she is the victim. I quote from her when she found out I was self harming again ā€œThanks for ruining the body I raised for 20 yearsā€ No asking why. No concern. Just a big fuck you for hurting yourself. Iā€™d literally rather die than deal with the stress of my mother getting involved after spending 8 years making sure she isn't. I told my doctor not to do so 4 times and I still feel like she might. Idk. (why is everyone overreacting so much?? TT___TT)

I went asking for help and so far I just wanna go crawl in a hole and die.

[Discussion] Day 3: Quitting EC Stacks
/u/firegem7
Created: Thu Feb 4 03:59:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/444sva/day_3_quitting_ec_stacks/
---
I'm already off the EC stack wagon.

This morning I feel a slight pain in my chest whenever I breathe deeply. Seeing as that is a negative side effect of EC stacks, I have to conclude it's the cause.

I rather not risk it worsening so I will be quitting immediately.

Anyone who feels any kind of chest pain while using it should also consider quitting.

My thoughts and theories in a previous post still stand. However, I guess I am more sensitive to this combination of pills. Maybe it works for some. I really don't know.

So. No more stacks! Shoot. :(

[Rant] Freaking out / happy?
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Feb 4 02:56:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/444n6f/freaking_out_happy/
---
So I just forced myself to eat a bun. When I took it out of the oven, I put some Avocado on it so it would be healthy in some kind of way. I started nibbling and when I finished about a quarter of it, I turned it over to find a big Green moldy spot growing on my bun. Needless to say, I was grossed out by this. First thought that came to mind, throw it all out! But I just can't purge. I really can't. I've tried, but I can't. But it was a good excuse to throw my breakfast out. So now I'm semi relieved, however still freaking out about moldy bread since I'm already ill.

[Help] stomache
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 114.4 lb | 22.34 | -13.5| Female]
Created: Thu Feb 4 02:52:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/444mu8/stomache/
---
ive been eating less, but getting weird stomach aches before bed and at night now- only eating oatmeal, chicken, veggies, eggs, yogurt and cereal on occasion.. any thoughts?
lots of water and coffee and tea

[Goal] Let's get sexy for V Day! [I'm baaack]/support. Extreme short term goals
/u/SoFetchBetch [67.75" | 109.4lbs | 16.61 | 19lbs | F | GW: 107 lbs or 16 bmi]
Created: Thu Feb 4 02:39:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/444lj6/lets_get_sexy_for_v_day_im_baaacksupport_extreme/
---
[removed]

[Help] Period drama (lol?)
/u/zelska [Height: 160cm/5'3" | CW: 51kg/112lbs | GW: 45kg/99lbs]
Created: Wed Feb 3 23:45:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/444899/period_drama_lol/
---
Okay this is going to be tmi so bear with me.

I wasn't expecting any changes to my period or anything because I'm not yet at an underweight BMI, but this month has been a shitshow.

I've had a really crampy, really heavy and generally really shit period. (I leaked ALL OVER my bedsheets and had to run to the laundry at 4am to wash them, feeling very sorry for myself). I've also been really low and depressive which is pretty unusual for me. My periods are normally light (I haven't leaked anywhere in years!), minimal cramping, occasional grumpiness but not sadness. This month has been totally different!

I'm on the pill if it makes any difference, haven't missed any or purged any up. I also take vitamins and protein shakes so even though I'm restricting quite heavily I didn't think my period would be affected?

Why is this happening to me? Is this connected to restriction or am I just having a shitty month?

[Rant] Just some rambling thoughts and feelings.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 3 22:55:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4442nr/just_some_rambling_thoughts_and_feelings/
---
I know this sub isn't my personal diary, but I feel a bit better throwing some thoughts out when there are people that understand.

* When I'm full or just generally feel I ate too much, I focus on the past. All of the times that I messed up or where I could be now if I hadn't slipped up.

* When I'm fasting, I think about the future. I'm on cloud 9 and think about all of the possibilities. The past is over and my future is open to me. I have the freedom to be who I am.

* I realized what I'm working for. I had lost it, but I remembered. When I lived in Paris, I felt so out of place. When I was in class, it felt like every girl came from fashion week and I walked out of a dumpster. My clothes, makeup, and hair were on point. But I was just too big. I'm trying to go to grad school in Paris and I want nothing more than to look like a native. I refuse to enter the city again any higher than 119.

* I'm so over digestive issues. I had a fair amount of spinach today and I'll be bloated for days. I want to be able to eat fruits and vegetables without worry.

* I miss university. I miss my professors and the libraries and learning new things. I know I can learn on my own, but I loved lectures.

There is just too much time for my mind to drift and go over thoughts I just want to avoid. I'm trying to occupy my thoughts the best I can. You know when you start to fall asleep and your brain brings up every problem you've every had? It's like that all day. All I have right now are books, my ED, and time.



[Discussion] Watching cooking shows/binge videos.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 3 22:47:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4441pw/watching_cooking_showsbinge_videos/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] I made my own thinspo (album)
/u/calorified
Created: Wed Feb 3 20:45:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/443lsh/i_made_my_own_thinspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/L9G1k

[Help] Scared of binging tomorrow. Help.
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 116 | 20.3 | -4 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 20:34:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/443k4w/scared_of_binging_tomorrow_help/
---
Perhaps this is sort of a rant/help? Not sure how to tag this. (Sorry about the formatting- on mobile)

So far I've been under 20cal liquid fasting for nearly six days now (137 hours exactly), and today I've had awful, awful urges to binge. I had to go grocery shopping with my mom and that made it worse. She bought quite a few binge triggering foods.

I've fantasized all day about eating toasted marble pound cake with a bit of butter and peanut butter, bags of chips, protein bars, coconut fudge cookies, buttery biscuits with cheese, a big burrito with tons of guac, beans and cheese.... ugh

I want to binge on these ever so badly, but I know that if I did I couldn't forgive myself and would feel absolutely shitty and spend the entire day binging and purging rather than getting something productive done.

I just need your help and support. Convince me not to binge. Reinforcement from others is usually very helpful.
I can't sleep just thinking that I will cave tomorrow.

[Rant] Ugh
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 3 20:28:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/443jde/ugh/
---
I wasnt even hungry and all I did was binge on anything I could get my hands on today. I'm so close to reaching Feb 14th's goal, but I feel like it's starting to slip through my fingers.


*I'm sorry, I'm on mobile and can't flair my post

[Rant] Not Allowed to Eat for At Least Two Days
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 20:18:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/443hyb/not_allowed_to_eat_for_at_least_two_days/
---
Fuuuuuuuuck. I posted on Monday about getting a new job and being all excited and new beginnings etc etc etc. I did really well for the past two days and then today I totally fucked up. We had our quarterly meeting and my office has beer and wine on tap... after having a larger-than-necessary glass of wine I totally binged and ate a sandwich, slice of pizza, and vegetarian fake-sausage roll. Within the span of like an hour. I feel disgusting right now. I ate lettuce when I got home because I just needed something not carb-heavy in my system and chugged a bunch of water. Ffffffuck.

I set an alarm on my phone to go off every half hour that says "don't you dare fucking eat" just so I can remind myself that I'm a sack of shit and don't deserve it. Mrrrrrroooowwwwwwwwwwww I hate this. Tomorrow there's office trivia with even more alcohol. Gah.

[Discussion] An idea I had about ephedrine...
/u/firegem7
Created: Wed Feb 3 19:59:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/443fbp/an_idea_i_had_about_ephedrine/
---
So if you have been reading my posts, you'll see that I'm a noob to this whole EC stack. Before I started this though, I made sure to do extensive research on the matter. I'm not going to blindly fill my body with chemicals that I don't understand.

During my research, I found more good reviews than bad. All the bad came from people who were inclined to jitters and paranoia from stimulants but I didn't really see too many people saying the chemical reaction of ephedrine and caffeine didn't contribute to weight loss.

I didn't rely on Reddit being my only source, I checked everywhere. Including reputable weight loss sites and sites focused on muscle building. It's interesting to see that even some body builders live by the EC stack life. However, some of them believe in steroid use...so I guess we can't rely too heavily on their opinions. At least not all, that is.

If you didn't know, ephedrine used to be in many notable weight loss pills, including Hydroxycut. Back then, these companies were able to establish themselves as being effective BECAUSE THE EPHEDRINE WORKED!

But then came along the FDA with it's "science" and government power and they outlawed ephedrine in dietary supplements. And that is when pills like Hydroxycut were seen to no longer be as effective for some, if not more than noted.

Another issue with ephedrine was the use by druggies to create meth. (Note: I'm not a medical professional but I most definitely suggest AGAINST the use of meth as a weight loss strategy.)

I'm not one for conspiracy theories, and this is ONLY a theory. None of my opinions should be seen as fact or actual medical advice or in any way necessarily accurate.

But! My theory is that the FDA WANTS us to be fat. I feel like medical professionals and the weight loss industry make so much money off obesity that they used their money to pay the FDA to outlaw ephedrine. Because it's a lot of a stimulant and we still have so many stimulants legal.

Now. This is a US theory, of course, because I didn't see much about it in other countries. Probably because my browsing is US based. So, if I'm totally bonkers, I accept that. But we all know no two countries are alike. However, where ephedrine is outlawed here in the US...we happen to have the largest obesity rate in the world. Coincidence?

However, ephedrine is still accessible in other ways, like Bronkaid. So they weren't too effective in keeping it from us entirely. But they have put limits on how much each individual can acquire monthly. They say it's due to the druggies...but is it really?

So. That's my nut job theory of the day. And I will continue posting about my progress.

If you have problems with anxiety or any nervous ticks, I do suggest against use of EC stacks. I'm bipolar with OCD, per my psychiatrist, however and it seems to be doing okay for me so far. So far. I'm not a professional though.

Another thing you should also research before deciding to go on this venture is caffeine. It's a very powerful thing and can have adverse effects. Therefore, I also recommend keeping your general health in check and making sure EC stacks do not become a permanent way of life for you. Watch the caffeine intake!

So disclaimer, once again, I am absolutely not a medical professional. And none of my advice is to be taken on a serious stance. These are just my thoughts and opinions.

I am not a doctor. I'm just a fat girl on Reddit.

Catch ya on the flip side, guys. :)

[Discussion] Hi. I want to introduce myself and get involved in the community.
/u/ShitizenSnips [5'9" | 182 | 26.39 | +2 | Neutral]
Created: Wed Feb 3 19:56:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/443ew7/hi_i_want_to_introduce_myself_and_get_involved_in/
---
Hi,

First of all, I'm glad a place like this exists. I've lurked for awhile now, and I finally want to put myself out there and talk a bit about how I came to be in the situation I am now. Sorry if this is long and confusing as I am a blunt, choppy writer.

I grew up with a mom who had binge eating disorder. I can remember getting in her car and seeing fast food wrappers tucked in every corner, under the seat, everywhere. Same goes for under her mattress, at the bottom of the trashcan in the kitchen, etc. Food was how she showed love for us kids, and it was/is how she regulates all of her emotions.

Somewhere along the line I picked up those habits. Randomly spending $30 on junk then taking a 30-min car ride so that I could eat until I felt sick and stuff all the wrappers in my car so that my thin roommate wouldn't see became normal.

During university I was sexually assaulted, and along with it came a sudden shift in my eating habits. I suddenly began to integrate fasting and purging into my routine, which went from 1-2x a week to every day. I was then eating nothing for a day or two, followed by eating huge amounts and purging it up or exercising 2-3hours to "fix" it. I was really miserable about my weight, and I still am because the shift in my eating habits awarded me no weight loss at all, but my weight is an even more heated internal battle after the assault that happened.

I wanted to be thin so that I could finally feel clean and pure again, but whenever I hit 170-175lbs I got this huge fear in my stomach that I was making myself vulnerable and asking for someone to attack me again, and I binged until I was back at my starting weight. Then I binge-purge-binge-purge (stall) for a bit, then I'd be back to starving to feel clean again. It's strange, I admit that. After going through a lot of counseling I no longer purge, but the losing weight via fasting, panicking, bingeing, plateauing, hating all my chub is still going. It feels like my body is the battleground for the war going on inside my head.

Anyways, thanks for being here. I hope this post is appropriate for the sub, and I hope everyone had a good day today.

**TL;DR: Had BED and I think it evolved into EDNOS of some sort. It isn't great, thanks for making things a little less bad by existing as a sub.**


[Tip] Under 900 calories today! And a quick tip to stop a binge streak.
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -20 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 19:47:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/443dmo/under_900_calories_today_and_a_quick_tip_to_stop/
---
This might not sound like a huge milestone to anyone, but after a string of binges it feels great to be back on track.

Whenever I cannot seem to buckle down, I like to take my calories way down for a day (or two, if necessary) to reset my brain. Usually I aim for around 1,400 to avoid suspicion, I still lose weight even if it's more slowly. When I eventually up my calories, I feel like I'm eating like a king and feel no need to binge for at least several days, sometimes weeks or even months.

It might not work for everyone, but I just thought I'd share in case it helps anyone out. Stay lovely!

[Discussion] Day 2 of EC Stack
/u/firegem7
Created: Wed Feb 3 19:35:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/443btu/day_2_of_ec_stack/
---
I didn't get to take more than 2 doses today of 25e/200c each. I slept too late. Then I was unable to go running due to inclement weather, tornado warnings and one touching down nearby.

So today wasn't an ideal day. Not to mention going to lunch with my fiancƩ...oh, how I wanted to purge afterwards. But I didn't. I'm mostly Ana-oriented anyways.

Tomorrow is a new day though! I also spent some money on new running shoes that I'm super excited to try out in the morning! Going at 5:30AM tomorrow and then again about 6:30pm. I wish I had more time to fit running into my schedule...

I really need to buckle down and get some schoolwork done...but ya know. Lol. I'm dropping out of college after this semester anyways. Too rich to receive Pell but too poor to do anything than take out loans and end up thousands in debt. (And THEY say I'm too rich. But I ain't. I just don't have kids to count as dependents.)

Anyways. Got a little personal there but whatever. It'll be okay. This is my place to...document my...self? Lol.

Catch ya on the flip side, guys! :)

[Discussion] [Discussion] What does proED think about reverse thinspo? Do you think it should be explicitly stated in one of the sub's rules? Rules in sidebar.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 19:08:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4437zn/discussion_what_does_proed_think_about_reverse/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4437zn/discussion_what_does_proed_think_about_reverse/

[Discussion] Negative Side Effects of EC Stacks
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | CW: 105 | 20.1 | GW: 90 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 18:42:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/44340x/negative_side_effects_of_ec_stacks/
---
Since I started looking at this subreddit a few weeks ago I've been curious about doing EC stacks. I finally got up the courage to buy bronkaid and caffeine pills on Monday, and took my first set today. Probably wasn't the best idea because I had to commute an hour in the rain/fog/snow. Fun. Anyway, I'm wondering about any negative side effects anyone has experienced. I was reading online about it and it mentioned increased anxiety and paranoia. I don't really want those things since I had an anxiety attack at Walmart just trying to buy dinner for my boyfriend. Back to the point here, do you all think that it is worth it to try even if there are some adverse side effects? Thanks in advance, you all are great :)

[Help] cake and self-control?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 3 17:55:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/442wv4/cake_and_selfcontrol/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Large (no pun intended!) album of reverse thinspo gifs
/u/calorified
Created: Wed Feb 3 16:42:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/442lgc/large_no_pun_intended_album_of_reverse_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/HS19A

Anyone have any fasting tips?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 3 16:42:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/442lg4/anyone_have_any_fasting_tips/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Tobi online store gives clothing size, height, and measurements of models in each picture.
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 16:12:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/442gvk/tobi_online_store_gives_clothing_size_height_and/
---
I love picking out 5'9" models and being able to visualize what clothing would look like on me at that size. It's such great thinspo for me.

[**Tobi**](http://www.tobi.com)

[Help] Weaning off Primatene advice needed
/u/Kate74
Created: Wed Feb 3 15:27:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4429kg/weaning_off_primatene_advice_needed/
---
I have been taking primatene + coffee for the past 5 weeks or so, averaging about 3 pills a day. Within the past week I have noticed the effectiveness is wearing off and I need it just to feel barely normal. Always waking up cloudy headed and my mind feels very bogged down. I have been around 800-1000 Cals a day. I drink plenty of water mixed with coconut water for electrolytes... I hate to stop but it's time to cycle off I am guessing! Any advice for coming off? Or how to make it more effective again? I feel like a big wave of depression swooped in. Thanks so much in advance, I love this community!

[Discussion] Introduction
/u/snugglebumpkins
Created: Wed Feb 3 15:06:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4425xs/introduction/
---
Hello! I've been lurking for a while (like a lot of others), but I finally decided to post.

First and foremost, I come from a "larger" family. If someone made you a big meal, it meant that they love you. One of my favorite quotes from my mom (who is ~5'3") was "I looked so anorexic when I was 160 lbs." My family generally falls under Category 2 or higher obesity. Growing up, I wasn't taught what a calorie was, or anything about portion control.

I first developed an ED when I was roughly 14 years old, after going to Japan as an exchange student in high school and realizing how skinny everyone is there. This was pretty soon after my health class taught us what calories were/what the recommended daily intake was for girls and boys. Before this, we were only taught "Don't eat potato chips or junk food!"

After coming back from Japan, I cut down to ~700 calories per day, and purged after every meal. I actually had a stack of jars/cups/trashbags in my closet full of my vomit that I would clear out late at night, because I shared a bathroom with my sisters. I managed to drop down to 120 (~40 lbs) in the span of 4 months. I finally got caught when my sister was snooping through my room and I left a trashbag of vomit out in my room. She stepped on it and it exploded all over the room.

I ended up getting treatment, and didn't buy a scale for a good 5 years. I got up to ~170, and started to relapse again, but I wouldn't cut calories. I only binged and purged. This cycle has been repeating itself for the last few years.

I hate how I look, hate how flabby I am, and how much I've let myself go. For the past month I've been cutting to about 400-600 per day, occasionally purging that as well. I can't bring myself to believe in fat positivity even though I've tried so hard. I have always felt most attractive and happiest when I am not fat.

You guys all seem pretty nice though, nice to meet you.

[Rant] All of a sudden... DEPRESSION
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 15:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4425c6/all_of_a_sudden_depression/
---
I was feeling okay today, started off kind of rough for unrelated to ED reasons, but did eat some crackers and some left over chicken for lunch when I was supposed to fast... then I decided to browse some social media. Some hoe sent me a friend request the other day. I go to her page to see who she is. I don't know her. She's got a lot of mutual friends, one of which is my boyfriend, which doesn't mean anything, we have a ton of mutual friends. One thing that stings is that of course over the holidays a bunch of people got engaged and posted their stupid rings and stupid relationship updates and all this mess... and then I see this girl is not only tiny... like probably 5'5" and 80 lbs... but she's a freaking "card girl" like the girl that walks around the boxing rings with the "round one" cards... probably gets her teeth whitened at NASA.. has perfect hair.. and she met her boyfriend in August of last year and they are already married and pregnant. See... here I am, year 3... almost 3.5... dating my boyfriend and nothing. Because I'm ugly and fat. He probably thinks he can do better. I can't stop crying at I'm at my desk at work. FML.

[Rant] I'm so stressed
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 110.6 | 16.63 | -34 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 13:52:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/441syr/im_so_stressed/
---
My mom is coming to visit. I really don't have *time* to fucking manage this. Every time I'm around my mom it's this huge fucking production because I have to entertain her, I have to be in a good mood always, "I know you said you have to work BUT...", on and on. She surveils whatever I eat, not even hiding that she's peering across the table at my plate, then whines and whines about how she can't lose weight. But if we go for a walk, then I'm going too fast and it's too far and too hard. But I can't go alone! No, we have to do *everything* together.

I'm way behind on this thing for school. I honestly just wish my suicide attempt 7 years ago had worked. I have so much to study and I won't do it in time. Everyone says I will pass but I feel so stupid. I can't learn it in time and I will embarrass myself. I'm too stupid to be here. I don't work hard at all. I really feel like everyone would be happier and better off if I vanished.

I said I wouldn't fast. I've lost a lot of weight recently and I think people are suspicious. But yesterday I couldn't stop myself and I ate above 800, I'm sure of it. If I fast, I can control myself, but as soon as I eat one thing, I can't. So I'm fasting today. I'm scared someone will say something and delay this test even further. People a year below me are way ahead of me because I'm so fucking stupid and lazy.

[Help] Cold hands?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Wed Feb 3 13:10:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/441lq1/cold_hands/
---
Hey, I've been doing 500 kcal days for the past week and a half and my vingers are pretty much dead. Even when holding a hot cup of tea they don't seem to warm up. It hurts when I touch them. Ideas?

[Discussion] I know this is random but what kind of toothbrush do you use?
/u/legittomato [5'10 | 158lb | 22.10 | -15 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 13:08:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/441lco/i_know_this_is_random_but_what_kind_of_toothbrush/
---
I find that keeping my mouth clean is extremely helpful in avoiding late night snacking and helps curb binges when I happen to eat something sweet. But I feel like my toothbrush gets worn out within maybe 6 weeks even though I'm only brushing twice a day usually. I also hate when I miss a spot (usually on the inside molars, those are hard to get!) and it kind of reverses the clean effect for me. I was using an electric toothbrush in the past which I loved but the replacement heads are so expensive and they wear out even faster. I've considered that I am brushing too hard but I don't feel I am.

So those of you who like to brush frequently what kind of toothbrush do you use?

[Help] I'm scared to stop taking phentermine.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Feb 3 12:27:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/441eo3/im_scared_to_stop_taking_phentermine/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What clothes do you wear that make you feel good about your body?
/u/acadavia [5'3"| 90.6 | 16.01 (new calc) | -25 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 12:03:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/441aid/what_clothes_do_you_wear_that_make_you_feel_good/
---
I'm specifically looking for pants that will actually fit me. I have a 25" waist and a 29" inseam and NO BUTT AT ALL (seriously my butt is like, inverted). I've been trying on tons of pants over the past few days and it's hard to find ones that are small enough, and the ones that are make my butt look even flatter. Are there any that you could suggest that would be flattering?

I'm also interested in the topic of fashion in general... what do you wear that makes you feel good about your body and makes you look thinner? What's your favorite, go-to outfit for (a) going out, (b) work, (c) casually hanging out?

[Thinspo] In case of hunger, watch this.
/u/whyisitsohardtho
Created: Wed Feb 3 11:27:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4414ec/in_case_of_hunger_watch_this/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbrJ_Fde-6g

[Thinspo] Very Large Thinspo Album with Reverse Thinspo Sprinkled Amongst the Regular Thinspo :)
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 11:12:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4411vd/very_large_thinspo_album_with_reverse_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/kas2e

[Help] How do you stop from getting an upset stomach from supplements when restricting?
/u/lessismoreofme [5'3 | 145lbs | 26.58 | -45lbs | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 10:13:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/440rud/how_do_you_stop_from_getting_an_upset_stomach/
---
I'm in the middle of a restriction period/semi-fast and I've been nauseated as hell every time I take my morning and evening pills. Do I have to eat? I take some coconut oil with it (no carbs) and it helps somewhat but I hate the nausea.

[Discussion] Has anyone tried the extreme diets and routines done by weight trainers and UFC fighters?
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 09:54:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/440ogn/has_anyone_tried_the_extreme_diets_and_routines/
---
You lose more weight the more muscle you have... and the more you weigh, the more significant the fat loss (a 300 lb person is going to lose 5 pounds much more easily than a 100 lb person, typically and depending on height and overall health... before I get corrected :) ... ) Here's a VERY disciplined routine I found, the rehydration stuff scares me, since I'm basically addicted to water now.

Here's the [link](http://fourhourworkweek.com/2013/05/06/how-to-cut-weight-ufc/comment-page-2/) to one such diet/exercise regimen.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Feb 3 09:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/440fgl/daily_food_diary_february_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] First Fast
/u/Make_me_Thin [5'2 | 104.8 | 19.86 | -2 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 08:56:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/440edv/first_fast/
---
Hello beautiful people! I want to do my first fast today but am unsure how to make it through the day. Any advice/tips? Thanks in advance :)

[Goal] LBD for Valentines Day
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 126.2 | 22.09 | -33lbs. | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 08:52:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/440duh/lbd_for_valentines_day/
---
I went shopping yesterday and found the cutest LBD for Valentines Day on clearance for $6!! Problem: It doesn't zip yet. It's a small in juniors sizes. It zips half way then there's one part where I'm about a half inch too big :( Do you guys think it's an attainable goal to fit in it by the 14th? I want to soooo badly.

[Discussion] Restaurants with calorie count on menu
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 126.2 | 22.09 | -33lbs. | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 08:41:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/440c0k/restaurants_with_calorie_count_on_menu/
---
Can we have a thread about this? I would love some ideas of places we can go out to eat where I don't have to get on my phone to find the calorie count of everything. It's so much better when I don't have to stress about that. (And I look like less of a freak) Panera bread has all theirs listed on the menu, but I don't really know of any place else. Any ideas?

[Thinspo] [thinspo] a few gifs! (not made by me)
/u/skin_on_seashells [5'9 | 118 | 17.5 | 12 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 06:11:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43zpxx/thinspo_a_few_gifs_not_made_by_me/
---
http://imgur.com/a/nF1Wd

[Help] Amenorrhea without being underweight
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 05:48:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43zn9p/amenorrhea_without_being_underweight/
---
Sorry to ask this here. I know how annoying health questions are but it's hard to find good info.

To start this off, there is NO possibility whatsoever that I'm pregnant. I haven't so much as been near a penis in 2 years. (I know, sucks to be me.) I also don't purge or exercise. In case you can't see my flair, I am right on the border of normal and overweight.

But my period is about 5-6 days late -- which it usually never is. Oddly, I started having all the symptoms of my period right on time (cramping, constipation, muscle aches, exhaustion) EXCEPT bleeding.

Any thoughts on this? Anyone else had the same thing?

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Late Night I Will Not Binge Thinspo
/u/LadySkywalker
Created: Wed Feb 3 02:38:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43z4ok/thinspo_late_night_i_will_not_binge_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/bsBcc

[Tip] online food shopping
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 114.4 lb | 22.34 | -13.5| Female]
Created: Wed Feb 3 01:45:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43yzwv/online_food_shopping/
---
I hate going into grocery stores, so I order a lot of food on amazon or ask my roomie to pick it up for me- does anyone else do this? or have any prepackaged things they recommend?

* [single serve peanut butter](http://www.amazon.com/Justins-Peanut-Butter-Classic-Squeeze/dp/B00E1XPY3A/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1454488591&sr=8-1&keywords=justins+peanut+butter+packets)- i eat this on a rice cake at the office and it looks like alot
* quest bars
* miracle noodles
* [seeweed salad](http://www.amazon.com/Japanese-Delight-Seaweed-Sesame-0-9-Ounce/dp/B005JXHHBS/ref=sr_1_12_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1454488781&sr=1-12&keywords=seaweed) looks like a meal or ramen but is only 40 cal
* rice cakes
* [la croix](http://www.amazon.com/Lacroix-Sparkling-Water-Peach-Count/dp/B00EEN7PIE/ref=sr_1_5_s_it?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1454489054&sr=1-5&keywords=la+croix) cheaper in stores though

[Rant] I failed miserably.
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 159.7 | 29.07 | -36.3 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 01:39:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43yzd2/i_failed_miserably/
---
I failed. I was trying to do a 5 day liquid only fast. Day one (starting Monday at 12:01 am) was amazing. No problem there. Day two started rough. I felt sick and weak so I slept for a while. When I got up I ran some errands and bought some water and powerade. I felt better after I drank some powerade. It didn't last long though. I am now 2 hours into day three and I caved. My stomach was killing me and I felt like I was going to faint. I ended up making some pasta, since it's my go to binge food and the only thing we really have in the house right now. It started at 1/2 cup dry and turned into a full cup (400cal). It's not a ton but it makes me feel awful. I haven't purged in so long (years), but I want to so bad. The only thing stopping me is the fact that my husband is home and he worries when I get sick. I don't know what to do. I just feel like crap.

[Thinspo] Gamine.
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 114 | BMI 17 | -11 | F]
Created: Wed Feb 3 01:35:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43yz0v/gamine/
---
http://imgur.com/a/1jdwU

[Help] Lanugo at 19.5 (normal not new) BMI?
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 100.5 lb | 19.04 | -19.5 | Kinda F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 22:15:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ydfq/lanugo_at_195_normal_not_new_bmi/
---
So I was just doing my eyebrows when I noticed I have more peach fuzz on my face than before. Like quite a bit more. I know certain characteristics (thigh gap, missing periods, etc) show up at different BMIs for different people, but really? I'm still at a healthy weight why is my face covered in fur?

[Discussion] I know many people here hate here, but does anyone else kind of miss /u/klairvoyant?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 2 20:33:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43xzoo/i_know_many_people_here_hate_here_but_does_anyone/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] rant I think
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 20:22:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43xy23/rant_i_think/
---
Hey guys, so I made it down to my gw a while ago (132) and I'm below it now and I still feel like a pig, I don't get it. Usually I'm pretty good at being realistic about how my body actually looks in comparison to how I feel but now I'm not, or maybe before I was just over-confident. I thought once I had a BMI in the 19's I would be happy and I'm not. I get compliments on my body but now I get a spark of anger instead of happiness because I feel like they're lying because they pity me for being chunky. I'm also pissed because I've hit a plateau and can't for the life of me dip down below 129.6 and it's pissing me the fuck off because my new gw is 125. I feel like I'll feel better if I can get to 125, I have a month to do it because my birthday is March 5 and I want that to be my present to myself- to be thinner than I am now. My mom has started commenting on how 'tiny' I'm getting and I don't get it, I literally look 'healthy', not tiny. Sorry for rant, it's all been building up inside of me for a while now and I needed to shout into the void of the internet instead of my friends because none of them know about my eating patterns, they think I'm just healthy.
Ugh, end of rant.

[Tip] Tip - Jif PB powder sucks
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 113.8 | 19.16 | -42.2 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 20:10:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43xwan/tip_jif_pb_powder_sucks/
---
It's not good guys, it tastes like burnt peanuts. I think it was cheaper or something so I thought I'd try it. 2 Tbsp is 47 cals vs PB2's 45 cals, so they're almost the same. But no, it's nasty. My tongue is sad. If you are debating, just get PB2 lol

[Rant] My family will be the death of me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 2 20:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43xv68/my_family_will_be_the_death_of_me/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] This community and you lovely littles.
/u/skinnybutfluffy [5'2.5" | 116 | 20.7 (new) | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 19:52:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43xtos/this_community_and_you_lovely_littles/
---
Hey, this will be short, as am I.

I only discovered this subreddit but a week ago. I knew that I had disordered eating, but whenever I read your thoughts, it really brought to perspective some of the things I truly struggle with - personally, mostly binge eating and drinking.

I know a lot of lurkers have been coming out of the 'cracks' here lately, but I wanted to personally thank you guys for being you.


So, thank you. Each and every one of you.

You guys are amazing, and I can't think of a single subreddit I would
even consider making a separate account for solely to be a part of its community.

[Rant] Chocolate
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 109 | 18.35 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 19:46:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43xss9/chocolate/
---
So I really messed up. I started off really good and ate just a subway salad after hitting the gym this morning and had a few grapes. Well then it went topside. I have been CRAVING chocolate (which is not like me at all, I have recently been having cravings bad and I hate sugary food) and binged on one of those huge bags of peanut m&ms. I threw half the bag down the toilet but I still fucked up yall. And I was doing so well. Then I ate cheezits. I was like WTF am I doing? So I've been at the gym for an hour and I killed the stairstepper and now I'm leisurely strolling on the tread mill. Burning 300+ calories does NOT suffice for the crime I commited. HALP

[Help] Diet foods to buy on Amazon Canada?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 18:16:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43xfcp/diet_foods_to_buy_on_amazon_canada/
---
It's pretty hard to find a lot of the staple diet foods in stores in Canada, but I managed to find PB2 on Amazon.ca. What else should I look for?

Warning! On this site you will not find love or romance, just sex.
/u/linghalpcalri1980
Created: Tue Feb 2 17:56:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43xc6x/warning_on_this_site_you_will_not_find_love_or/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] A new scale
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 109 | 18.35 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 17:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43x3tr/a_new_scale/
---
Hey yall, I was wondering if you had any ideas of a cheap but reliable scale I could get? I'm broke as a joke, but I'm starting to distrust my scale

[Discussion] UPDATE ON DAY ONE OF EC STACKS
/u/firegem7
Created: Tue Feb 2 17:02:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43x3oq/update_on_day_one_of_ec_stacks/
---
I took the 25e/200c today three times. Yes, overzealous for a first time. But. All day, I didn't feel anything. Then I just went running for 2 miles and I really feel like it made a difference. I'm going to refrain from weighing myself until day 7.

Just a heads up, once upon a time I was 278 at 5'6". This "lifestyle" has gotten me down to the 190 I'm at now.

Keep strong, ladies and gents.

[Rant] Did the math...
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 102.8 | 18.71 | -12.2 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 16:51:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43x1s6/did_the_math/
---
For someone who's such an old pro at dieting/calorie counting/training, I feel like such an idiot right now. I felt like I was doing fairly well balancing running and restricting, but...

Sedentary TDEE: ~1400/day or 9800/week

Gross cals: ~1000/day or 7000/week

30 miles run @80cal per: -2400/week

---------
Weekly deficit below TDEE: -5200 cal. If I follow the plan perfectly that's, like, a pound and a half (1lb fat = 3500 cals). Pretty lame for a goal.

*obligatory disclaimer about how all of this is pretty fuzzy, obvs I'm double dipping if I count time spent running twice in TDEE and also in run calories; hormone factors; input inaccuracy, blah blah*

This little exercise, flawed as it is, showed me two things, though:

1 - how much my binges are hurting my progress. 1.5lbs/week might be a lame goal, but I'm not even losing that, more like (averaged out to remove water/waste fluctuation) .75lb/week. That means my binges are slowing me down to the tune of **2625** extra calories every week. And I though I was purging "most" of what I binged. Holy shit!

2 - how easy it was for me to get in the mindset of "good enough". Usually my ED-logic is better than that...but I thought because I was eating an amount normal people would still consider low, and running several hours every week, that I was doing fine. I was even considering eating back calories on long run days! I should have sat down and looked at the numbers long ago and set a more aggressive goal so that when I inevitably fall short at least there's more progress.

This really depressed me but also got me really motivated. No more "oh I ran I should eat more to recover" or "I'm pretty sure I got everything up." The math proves that neither of those things are true.


[Discussion] Tell me something you like about your body today!
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 15:53:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43wssi/tell_me_something_you_like_about_your_body_today/
---
I know we all have rough days. I'm feeling kind of gross and off today, and would love to hear what is going right with you.

Even if it's something tiny, like a pimple going away or not having shaving bumps lol, what is making you happy with your body today?

[Tip] Tips for handling temptation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 2 15:49:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ws8a/tips_for_handling_temptation/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What triggers your binges?
/u/LilyMae91 [5'7 | 109.5 | 17.1 | 20 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 15:39:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43wqgl/what_triggers_your_binges/
---
OK, so I've given this a bit of thought and I figured, if we all exchanged what it is that triggers our binges, perhaps we could also exchange ideas on how to best avoid those triggers?

(I'm using 'binge' here in both senses of the word: unplanned foods and full on binge binges.)

Also perhaps we should avoid actually naming foods that we binge on, in this thread. Just focusing on the triggers and how we can stop them.

I'll start:

- When I'm bored/lonely

- If I've said I'll be fasting that day

- If I allow myself a meal or something (planned) I get into a 'I smashed the plate so I'll wreck the whole kitchen' mentality

- When I'm sad

- When I've lost weight from the day before



[Rant] I hate doctors
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 15:32:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43wpdf/i_hate_doctors/
---
As many of you probably know, I'm currently waiting for a spot in a treatment program. At the beginning of January they said I would get in in about 3 weeks, now they are saying I have to wait another month. But at the same time, they are saying that I could get the call any day. I hate waiting and not knowing when I'll get in. The uncertainty is killing me.

They also want to keep tabs on my medical status, so I'm going to doctors appointments every week and getting blood work every week (I'm starting to look like a junkie). But I've noticed that I tend to binge on days when I go to the doctor's, which really sucks because I have so many, (on average I have 3 a week).

I hate this. I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate our ridiculous wait times for treatment.

[Rant] Staving off binge cravings and feeling great! Bit of an intro too
/u/monkey_back1 [155cm | 88.1lbs | 16.6 | -30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 15:25:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43wo60/staving_off_binge_cravings_and_feeling_great_bit/
---
Hi all!

Cheery intro today. Have been lurking for months however!

I had pretty bad AN as a teen and have fluctuated from recovered to B/P to B/P restricting since. Add in a bit of a taste for booze and that's me.

Feeling super good right now - it is coming up to my 22nd birthday (god which I just thought - means I've had an ED for 10 years, haha) and I haven't b/p in six days, which is my longest streak in a really long time. I'm going to not do it as much as I can. So proud though because I had an awful week at uni and felt myself slipping (for instance today I was allowed 1000 calories, I am an art student and have spent the whole day running around shifting heavy stuff from 8am-7pm, also walked 4 miles to campus/back, but this is a lot more than I am usually allowed, and felt myself going "fuck it might as well have 1200", "fuck it you've just accomplished a massive thing, treat yourself", "it's just one day it won't make a difference") but I resisted! 1000 is still a lot of a lot but I keep reminding myself that I will still lose on this and that is ok!

I'm really really exhausted but feeling happy. I have recently started casually sleeping with a guy that I'm kinda secretly really into and he's into me too but timing is everything and it is not on our side right now. All I want is for him to notice my weight loss! I know that it can't be long now before a flurry of people notice again (tends to come in waves I find) and I'm using that to motivate me. Of course nothing I do now will change how I look drastically on my birthday except maybe fasting but I feel that for me and for recovering from B/P not fasting is a good idea right now. But at least I won't look like a total whale and I will be in control!

Anyway just wanted to share the good vibes and make my hello to the community. Also restriction-high! HAVE ALL MY !!!!! :D :D haha!

[Goal] Pleasantly surprised...
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 126 | 18.27 | -14 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 13:40:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43w698/pleasantly_surprised/
---
This past weekend I didn't watch to carefully my calorie intake and indulged a bit because it was my birthday and my best friends birthday so I was okay with the fact that I might gain.

Hopped on the scale today and I lost three pounds. Super excited! Need to update my flair when I'm off mobile.

Going on vacation tomorrow so I'm hoping I can keep this up being that all meals will be at restaurants.

How is everyone's week going?

[Discussion] Going from one extreme to the other
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Tue Feb 2 13:17:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43w25j/going_from_one_extreme_to_the_other/
---
Im 16, M, 5"11 and 154lbs... I went from 222, almost obese, and comfort eating constantly, i was disgusting.. Ive now gone the other, i love eating very little, 700-800 calories each day mostly, i feel guilty everytime i binge or eat too much, i binged yesterday..so im fasting to make up for it..has anyone else gone from having one problem to having the opposite? Gotten addicted to weight loss like me?

[Thinspo] Reverse thinspo? I don't even know what she's doing.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 13:16:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43w21d/reverse_thinspo_i_dont_even_know_what_shes_doing/
---
http://imgur.com/a/VA4Wn

[Tip] PSA Wilfred Free Daria Pant from Aritzia size XXS on sale
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | can fit in a rowboat | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 13:01:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43vzcg/psa_wilfred_free_daria_pant_from_aritzia_size_xxs/
---
[Yoooo](http://imgur.com/a/s5drH) - Regularly $135 but if you're rockin' some skinny legs, you can get them for [$40](http://us.aritzia.com/product/daria-pant/59836001.html) + free standard shipping

[Discussion] Try it Tuesday!
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" | 134.1 | 26.46 l -14.9 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 12:57:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43vykt/try_it_tuesday/
---
Hi, lovelies! Ready for another round of Try it Tuesday? What is one new thing that you tried this week?

[Discussion] Belly button ring
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 146 | 25.5 | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 12:55:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43vy7w/belly_button_ring/
---
Hey!
I'm not totally sure what the point of this post is, but I found this community a couple days ago and have been loving it. Plus I feel like there's no one else who I can talk to about this.

A few of my friends are going on Thursday to get piercings. I've been wanting a belly button piercing for a while but always held off and told myself it would be a reward for once I have a flat stomach. Do you think I should continue to wait until I have a flat stomach, or do you think getting one will motivate me more to work towards that? Thanks for the input :)

[Discussion] EC stack: Day 1, 1hr after 2nd dose
/u/firegem7
Created: Tue Feb 2 12:49:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43vx44/ec_stack_day_1_1hr_after_2nd_dose/
---
Sorry for not replying to EVERY comment in all my other posts. But I do read and upvote each one!

So. I started the EC stacks. This morning it was a 20oz Sugar Free Red Bull (189mg of caffeine) and one tablet of Bronkaid. Didn't feel anything.

Four hours pass. I take another Bronkaid, but his time with a Stackers 2 (200mg caffeine). It's been over an hour since my second dose. And I feel absolutely NOTHING so far.

Wth...

[Help] Does anyone else have a problem sitting for long periods of time?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 2 12:35:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43vuux/does_anyone_else_have_a_problem_sitting_for_long/
---
I am new to this sub but everyone seems so helpful and honest. Recently I have had a big problem sitting through my college classes. If I cross my legs I loose circulation in just a few mins and they start to go numb. If I sit with my feet on the floor my tail bone feels like its going through the seat. I was just curious if anyone else has this problem and any suggestions.

[Rant] New "healthy living" program at work is stressing me out.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 11:35:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43vk93/new_healthy_living_program_at_work_is_stressing/
---
My work started a healthy living...thing... (no doubt provided by our health insurance company so they can keep tabs on their subscribers) and I agreed to participate. Basically track what you eat, what the portion size was (small/medium/large), and how you felt about the meal (good/meh/bad). They also mail you out a scale that automatically syncs to your account when you weigh yourself on it. Ok, cool.




But we have to weigh ourselves every fucking morning. I only weigh myself once a week because the day-to-day fluctuations stress me the fuck out! Example: between Sunday and yesterday, I somehow gained 3 pounds. THREE POUNDS. That in itself is discouraging, even if it IS water and poop, but then the stupid program's app pops up with "helpful" notifications based on the weight it recorded. Fuck you, app. I'm lying about what I'm eating because I don't want the "health coach" to see that all I'm eating in a day is coffee, 100 calorie popcorn, and green tea. Why did I agree to this program? This was stupid.



In other news, my BMI finally dropped under 30 and I never thought I'd see this day again. I posted about the amazing leggings I found at Target and I just bought another pair online to pick up in the store tonight. I'm having trouble finding tops that are long enough to cover my crotch/butt so I'm wearing basic XXL tee-shirts that are just barely doing the job with long cardigans over them. I solved my bra issue with long spaghetti strap tanks that have a shelf bra in them so I'm happy with that. Nothing like seeing those wrinkles on your shirt where your boobs used to fill the cups...

[Rant] My story. (Long)
/u/_syncopate_
Created: Tue Feb 2 10:15:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43v6bj/my_story_long/
---
Hey everyone.

You may have noticed me commenting a bit in threads and not recognized my name. I guess I'm a bit of a new face. Here's my story, if you care to read. It's a bit long.

I guess I've been struggling with my eating habits for awhile. My whole life I've been fat because I always ate emotionally. High school for me was diet after diet, and when I went away to college, my meal plan only allowed 10 meals a week, so I would binge once a day in the dining hall, and maybe twice if it was one of the few days of the week when I could eat twice. I steadily gained weight. I don't even want to say my highest number because it was a shock to me too.

Until recently, I had a boyfriend. A wonderful, loving boyfriend. Three years my senior, ready to graduate with a bachelor's now this semester. He was skinny, so skinny, and always hated his body, but I loved it. I told him so. I envied his ADD drugs that were said to squash appetites. I envied his ability to just stop eating when he felt full. I envied his long and slender legs and arms.

We had a good relationship, or so it seemed. Then last Tuesday, exactly a week ago, I noticed that he had been acting a bit strange. I called him out on it. He came over so we could talk. Our 6 month anniversary was supposed to be Wednesday, and I was looking for an excuse to see him anyway, because I was going to be working that day.

Eventually he broke down over the frozen yogurt we went and bought together and told me that he wanted to marry someone someday and he was getting sure that that person wasn't me. He told me that he still loved me and that this was hard. We hugged and held hands and sobbed and didn't eat the rest of our yogurt. I begged and pleaded and all sorts of pathetic things. He told me that he had been thinking about this for awhile and that he hadn't been sure until recently. He had never brought up any problems before, and he admitted that our relationship didn't have any problems, that he just wasn't sure about our future. He told me that if ten years down the road we got married and then divorced, he would have considered this whole thing a waste.

I was beside myself. He took me home. He hugged me very very hard, with about all of his strength, which is a surprising amount, for about 5 minutes. I asked him if he really wanted to hug me or if it was just to make me feel better, and he told me that he wanted nothing better than to hug me and cry and fall asleep in my arms. I begged him to. He told me he couldn't. He drove away.

That night I cried so hard I projectile vomited. I couldn't sleep. I tried forcing myself to eat, but I couldn't eat much.

That next day I went to the gym and worked out. I weighed myself, recorded it in mfp, and ate very little for the rest of the day. The next day I went again, pushed myself again, and weighed myself again. I ate almost nothing to celebrate the weight I was already losing. I reveled in how little I was eating. It was empowering to be able to control myself.

I went and saw my friends to take my mind off things, and we went to a Denny's. I ordered a chicken fried steak (still getting over emotional eating) and fruit instead of bread, and didn't eat the whole thing. I scraped the gravy off and gave it to my friends. I went through my fruit cup and picked and chose. It felt so good to be able to just stop when I wanted to be done.

The next few days after that were a blur of actually getting some sleep, showering, gym, and eating teeny tiny amounts. I drink water to feel full. I can feel myself slimming and it feels amazing.

Since the breakup, I've played some video games with my ex to help things feel more normal, and we had a great time. I decided that I'm going to give him some distance, but I do want to be his friend. Maybe he'll come back someday, maybe be won't, but I care about him and don't want to lose him from my life. Maybe he'll see my new body and regret his decisions, too, but that's not my main focus. My main focus is myself now.

I love how my control over myself is making me feel. I like that weak feeling I get when I don't eat. I like the power I feel when I choose my food carefully. I like walking outside and feeling the cold like I've never felt it before. I especially love this subreddit's support and helpfulness. Thank you all for being so lovely.

Today I'm celebrating my new freedom with a fast. I invite you all to join me. It will be water only, maybe tea or black coffee if I need energy. I will be filling my mfp with 1,000 calories of filler and 1,000 calories of fake exercise for all of you who are friends with me on there (and thank you for the tip). I think I may also do my hair and makeup to extra confidence.

Thank you, Skyler, for helping me do what I never had the strength to do before by tearing me down like I've never been torn down before.

And thank you, lovelies, for reading.

Tl;dr Girl goes through unexpected breakup, finds peace through self-control.

[Discussion] I have found the HOLY GRAIL of leggings for those of us with a jelly tummy.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 186.6 | 30.12 | -33.4 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 10:07:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43v4xk/i_have_found_the_holy_grail_of_leggings_for_those/
---
The skin on my stomach is gross. Stretch marks and loose and all that. I hate seeing it because it's a constant reminder of the damage I did to my body and how much regret I have toward it. BUT I found leggings with a super wide waist band and these suckers hold that shit IN. Like...nothing is going to move. [BEHOLD](http://www.target.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/p/assets-by-sara-blakely-a-spanx-brand-women-s-seamless-slimming-2045/-/A-15034059). Pricey, but I need another pair RI MEOW. The only thing about them I don't like is that there's no seam between the butt cheeks so no ass definition (not a big deal since it will be covered anyway). Other than that, I pretty much want to live in these things. I sized down and they're perfect.

[Help] Dizzy, lightheaded, passing out? How do you deal?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 135 lbs | 20.30 | -28 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 09:37:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43uziu/dizzy_lightheaded_passing_out_how_do_you_deal/
---
Hunger I can deal with. Growling stomach, feeling empty, no problem. But the second I start to feel like I'm going to pass out I binge like mad. I hate passing out and I've been doing it more lately thanks to Lyme. It makes me panic and eat salty and bready things. If I want to hit my goals for February this will not do!

Do any of you have other solutions? Maybe a go-to "I'm about to faint" snack? Or is there something I can drink that might help? I drink vitamin water zero after yoga and it does seem to help. Anyone else use that?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Feb 2 09:02:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43utmf/daily_food_diary_february_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Discussion] Valentine's Day - 12 days to go
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Feb 2 08:57:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43uss6/valentines_day_12_days_to_go/
---
So I have been weighing myself but I haven't been recording the numbers. The reason for this is because I plan to weigh myself on Valentine's day and update my flair then. This has been my goal for a while. :)

I remember an old thread talking about goals for Valentine's day. Is anyone else still working towards the 14th?

Also, it doesn't have to be ED related, but if you're willing to share... what are your plans for the day? The plan for me is a spa day and then some afternoon tea (going to hopefully pass on the cakes).

[Goal] Just got sweighed at the Dr for the first time since buying a new scale.....
/u/In_a_fatsuit [1.63m| 69.8kg| 26.9 BMI | -31.3kg | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 08:53:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43us3g/just_got_sweighed_at_the_dr_for_the_first_time/
---
And their fancy pants scale shows I weigh LESS than my home scale. For years, I always seemed to weigh nearly half a stone more at the Dr than my personal scale. This has never happened before! It means I'm doing even better than I thought! Officially no longer obese on the new BMI. I'll have to update my flair when on PC. Hooray!

Granted, I still have almost 35 lbs to lose before I get back to my 2014 weight, but I'm about halfway there now. I'm amazed how slowly my body loses weight on ~600 kcal per day.... I feel like I may as well be eating 1,200. But I don't want to. My loss has drastically slowed after 70 days of restriction. :/

[Discussion] How much would my boobs weigh?
/u/AmAlreadyGoingToHell
Created: Tue Feb 2 08:39:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43upuo/how_much_would_my_boobs_weigh/
---
I don't know why, but I have a 32E cup and I am just dying to know how much I would weigh if that was an A or a B cup. Can anyone make a guess?

Edit: can't flag, am on mobile

[Discussion] ECA stacks
/u/firegem7
Created: Tue Feb 2 07:27:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43uezh/eca_stacks/
---
Okay! So I got some Bronkaid and Stackers 2. And I was going to start it today but I drank a Sugar Free Red Bull again, it being 189mg of caffeine. Should I still take the Stackers, at 200mg of caffeine?

What should I do for my first time? What's dosages does everyone else do?

Also, thanks for the help with finding Bronkaid, guys!

[Rant] Binged on mexican food
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 126.2 | 22.09 | -33lbs. | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 07:13:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ud1c/binged_on_mexican_food/
---
My husband took us to a mexican place for dinner last night. I had half a molcejete, half a margarita, some rice and beans, and a truck load of chips and salsa. What's wrong with me? They had healthy options...I could have eaten less...I wasn't even that hungry. I just kept eating. The waiter came over to box our food and I stopped him because I wasn't finished! I must have looked like such a whale. Ugh. The whole meal was over 500 calories which put me 900 for the day, but I normally try to stay around 600. I worked out some when I got home out of sheer panic. I get on the scale this morning and I'm 1.5 lbs heavier. I want to cry. Someone please tell me I haven't royally screwed up everything. I'm supposed to go to lunch with my grandma today too... I just want to crawl back in bed and not eat all day.

[Help] My first long fast- advice?
/u/lessismoreofme [5'3 | 145lbs | 26.58 | -45lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 06:38:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43u85n/my_first_long_fast_advice/
---
So I'm trying a 5 day fast. I've never done one this long- longest I've done was 24 hours for religious reasons. But I keep hovering at either 147.4 or 150.4 (why those two idk, my scale has other settings!) and I'm fucking done. Plus I start a really awesome new job where my looks seriously matter on Monday and I want to look my best.

I take vitamins and supplements- D3, B4, coconut oil, a hair, skin and nails, a women's multi, green tea, and green coffee, as well as ephedrine and caffeine.

Tips for the fast? Should I cut down on my exercising while fasting? I know I should stay hydrated. Should I eat before I take my meds and supplements in the morning and at night? I want to stay below 500 if I absolutely HAVE to eat..

[Rant] I Messed Up, But It's Ok
/u/Kapattak [5'7" | 120.6 | 18.82 | -20.6 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 04:53:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43tw6s/i_messed_up_but_its_ok/
---
So I was planning on doing a four day fast to reach my goal weight, and I ruined it on night two by getting high and eating everything in sight.

I am upset about binging and ruining my fast, but at the same time I feel oddly patient. I know that I at most gained half a pound from that binge, and plan on working off at least 1000 calories on the elliptical later today. While my progress may have a stalled a tad bit, I can keep going. I plan on restarting my fast today, and breaking it on Thursday night with a fun meal with my friends. I know that if I do well these next two days, and do well on the weekend, I should be around my goal weight by Monday. Thats only 6 days away, I can totally do that.

I really am thankful for all the support that this community shows, and the inspiration I get from it. Reading posts about some of the users who continued to binge for a few weeks after a bad day helped put me in a ore positive mindset for the future.

[Thinspo] [reverse thinspo] Being fat is almost like being a Girl Scout. (xpost from /r/fatlogic)
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 126 | 19.87 | -30 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 03:03:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43tlzl/reverse_thinspo_being_fat_is_almost_like_being_a/
---
http://archive.is/w1qFj

[Discussion] Anyone else LOVE the feeling of hunger?
/u/anasomnia [5'4" | 129.0 | 22.1 | -1.5 | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 02:02:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43tgfl/anyone_else_love_the_feeling_of_hunger/
---
Everyone says how frustrating and painful it is to go through hunger pangs, is it weird that I just LOVE them? It makes me feel accomplished, fragile, small in a way, like I've finally done something right. However, I cannot stand the feeling of being full, it just makes me want to die. no matter what I ate, if I feel full, I just automatically think I've gained ten pounds. It's such a heavy, disgusting feeling.

[Discussion] I'm gonna try something new!
/u/astr0zombie [5'7 | 140.6 lbs| 21.9 | -19.4lbs | F]
Created: Tue Feb 2 00:39:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43t97f/im_gonna_try_something_new/
---
I was lurking in /r/ fasting and I saw someone talking about a 23/1 IF fasting schedule. I did some reading and I think I'm gonna try it.
Intermittent fasting has always helped reign me in and control my binges, but this one seems to combine fasting and that in one.

For those who are unfamiliar- it basically means I will fast 23 hours a day and then if I'm going to eat it has to be within my set hour. I think I'm going to go with 6-7pm.

I'm still going to aim for keeping my calories under 600, but I'm curious to see how this works for me.

this post was pointless I just wanted to share and also #accountability lol

[Help] I'm a failure
/u/mynoothrowaway
Created: Mon Feb 1 23:54:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43t4ig/im_a_failure/
---
I'm a failure, an absolute failure. Following depression and weight gain, I somehow found the strength to lose 20lbs. Then my demons came back and I gained back ten. I hate myself. I can't do anything right, so I'm not sure why I thought this would be different. I feel so fat and gross and disgusting.

But I don't want to give up. I'm going to fast all day tomorrow to kickstart everything again--my husband won't be home until late so I won't have to make excuses. Being married makes this so hard. We always have dinner together, I don't know what to do. He can tell when I don't eat because I get horribly angry.

I really just needed to get that off my chest (and stomach, and thighs...). I'd really appreciate any support and tips you all can offer me. Love you guys.

[Discussion] Starting school tomorrow - 0 cal, energizing drinks/snacks?
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | 152 | -11 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 22:57:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43sxq3/starting_school_tomorrow_0_cal_energizing/
---
Anyone have any tips? My school has a cafe that I used to only drink coffee from, and that would help me through the day without eating.. but now I'm a vegan and they don't have soy milk.

What 0 cal drinks are convenient to drink at school? a new complex opening up near by so I can get diet soda.. I really need energy to study during the day haha, but I don't even get hungry til 4 pm, just low on energy.

[Thinspo] I ordered this whole outfit to motivate me to reach my goal weight -- those legs!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 1 22:43:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43svvp/i_ordered_this_whole_outfit_to_motivate_me_to/
---
http://imgur.com/TYz1Xku

[Help] Troubles with acid?
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 159.7 | 29.07 | -36.3 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 22:42:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43svr1/troubles_with_acid/
---
I've always had a slight problem with stomach acid / acid reflux. I've never taken anything for it regularly. In the past it was easy to handle with just drinking several glasses of vitamin d milk, but I stopped drinking that a while back. I've tried tums but they only help some of the time and I end up taking 4 or more to get some relief. I've also tried the chewy rolaids with better results. Have any of you had problems like this? If so, what has helped?

[Rant] [Rant] Feeling like a total whale
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 1 22:27:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43stsh/rant_feeling_like_a_total_whale/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] At 5'3
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 1 22:16:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ss9i/rant_at_53/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] New rule for me
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 21:40:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43snmy/new_rule_for_me/
---
I can't have cheese or wine or bread of any kind in the house. Lb lame my alcoholism. Blame my Sicilian and French ancestry. But if there's wine and carbs and cheese in the place it's a wrap. No pun intended.

I just doused a baguette and some $10 Gruyere in bleach cleaning spray... in the trash can.... So I wouldn't eat it. May Ana have mercy on my soul.

I'm supposed to go to New Orleans this weekend and I'm fatter than ever. I want to cry. I want to fucking disappear. But I must accomplish what I need to accomplish and not eat the rest of the week. Just broth and coffee/water/tea for five days. If anyone wants to join me and make me accountable I'd love you forever for it. šŸ˜“

[Help] ECA Stacks
/u/firegem7
Created: Mon Feb 1 20:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43sgle/eca_stacks/
---
First time I've heard of them. I live in Georgia USA and I sincerely don't know how or where to get the E. I just find a lot of spammy sites and Walgreen and CVS websites don't seem to say they're in stock. I checked Walmart also. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Also, as far as caffeine. What do you suggest to use?

And does brand of Aspirin matter?

Thanks in advance, guys.

[Rant] I'm disgusted and furious
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 116 | 20.3 | -4 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 20:13:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43sb0w/im_disgusted_and_furious/
---
I finally had the courage to weigh myself since December. Whaddya know. I gained 16 disgusting pounds. I ended December with massive binges every single day and binged all throughout January. I was so close to 100lbs (106) but now I'm back up to my highest weight again. Fuck me. Fuuuuuck me. I'm such a fat disgusting sow I can't stand myself. I cannot be seen this size. Why did I binge so much? If I had a normal intake I could have at least maintained. But no. I have to start all over again because I can't fucking control myself around food. And this weight was after 4 days of fasting. Ugh, I just feel so disgusting. I won't be able to go to Puerto Rico this Valentines day, I won't be able to go to the science convention in Greece this March, and I won't be able to cosplay in April because I'll never reach an acceptable weight.

[Discussion] A little introduction
/u/black_bonewhite [5'2 | 115| 21.79| F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 19:45:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43s6k8/a_little_introduction/
---
I've been lurking for the past couple of weeks and finally worked up the courage to introduce myself.

I've always had disordered eating. I was super picky when I was a kid and couldn't have any of my food touching one another. I would never fully finish a meal.

My grandma is probably the reason I'm this way. She would make comments about the things I ate, and tell me I should drink water if I thought I was hungry. One time, while eating chips in front of the TV, she told me "you shouldn't eat those; they'll go straight to your thighs."

Oh my thighs, how I hate them. They've always been huge. Even at my lowest weight, they were huge. I want to get rid of them so bad.

I was skinny in high school because of soccer. I rarely ate and ran all the time. I was 109 - 110lbs. I felt lovely back then. I had collarbones and hipbones and a thigh gap.

I just recently got back into intentionally restricting, something I haven't done since high school. So far it's worked out well. My highest weight was 130 around the holidays and I've already lost 7 pounds. I just want to get back to 115, then hopefully down to 110 again.

I just wanna lose these damn thighs!

[Rant] After this posts, I'm going to throw away the left over food in my kitchen.
/u/sewnp [168cm | GW:90lbs | NB]
Created: Mon Feb 1 19:00:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43rzlp/after_this_posts_im_going_to_throw_away_the_left/
---
I am SICK and tired of feeling ruled by food. I've been very depressed lately and the only thing I find myself doing is eating. I am ashamed and disgusted at myself for letting it come to this when I KNOW I cannot be happy this way.

I'm probably just subconsciously making my masochistic side happier by sinking further into this pit of self hate. I'm sorry in fucking advance for wasting food but I can't fucking take this anymore. I feel so out of control and I just want to feel like I have at least a GRASP on something. So, I will do something extreme to help myself out of this.

Think of this emotional rant as accountability. I live alone and compulsive lying is one of my many talents so I can definitely lie about eating without anyone being the wiser. I will save money and be able to look at myself in the mirror without wanting to self-harm. Maybe if I lose weight as well I can finally get a fucking job and not have panic attacks about people looking at me.

Do you drink Sugar Free Red Bull or a diet soda on fast days?
/u/firegem7
Created: Mon Feb 1 18:40:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43rwf4/do_you_drink_sugar_free_red_bull_or_a_diet_soda/
---
I'm just curious if anyone else does or an opinion on if you think it hinders the idea of a fast day.

[Discussion] Update on Pavlok - The good, the bad, and the ugly.
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 18:20:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43rtb2/update_on_pavlok_the_good_the_bad_and_the_ugly/
---
Hi all! As some of you may remember, I bought a Pavlok to help stop my binges and maintain my 800-1000kcal/day max goals. It's been interesting so far, and here's some info!

**The Good** : Zapping myself when thinking about food works fairly well. I found myself thinking of food less and less, and it was easier to say no to snacks or extras I didn't need. I would also use it while eating if it was an item outside of my food plan. Sure, I can afford those calories in chips, but healthier options would be wiser on a restricted calorie diet. Zap zap, making better food choices. Finally, using it after a meal when I got a chance to feel 'fullness' and see empty packaging. This helps me fully acknowledge that I've consumed something, to log those calories, and to be aware of if better food choices were an option. Fullness is now less desirable, and binge belly absolutely horrid. Feeling satisfied on less. This device is also ridiculously subtle compared to other aversion methods. You can't see it under long sleeves mostly, and if you can it just looks like a FitBit or similar.

**The Bad** : Everything about the company itself. The device was crazy pricey, the company shipped me a broken device then failed to reply to my emails, and are nearly impossible to reach other than through Reddit??? I managed to fix the device myself before they got back to me, which was a chore, and when they finally did message me it was through Reddit. One of their people commented on my using Pavlok and posting on ProED, which was super out of line (called them on this), then the 'CEO' finally messaged me for replacement when I told them how super not okay that was.

**The Ugly** : I want to suggest to product. I really really really do. It's working, and I love it. But I just HATE not knowing if this company is going to sink or swim and having no guarentee my money is going to get me what I paid for. They advertise the device as having so many functions, but they're all still in dev.
Also this thing loses all power over me when drinking unless I turn it way up and give the remote access to someone else. Apparently drunk Kate is beyond letting pain keep her from ruining her calorie goals. Kate smash puny potato chips.


So, all in all, IM happy with my Pavlok, but I hesitate to suggest it as of yet. If you know you can stay accountable to zapping yourself, ar okay with the iffy customer service, and have the money to spare then yes. 100%. Try this out.

Also, would not suggest to mascochists for obvious reasons.



[Help] About to start my first fast, any advice?
/u/ThatchersCUNT
Created: Mon Feb 1 18:14:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43rsi5/about_to_start_my_first_fast_any_advice/
---
I want to fast for 50 hours. This is my first time fasting at all, does anybody have any advice?

[Discussion] I fucking love myself
/u/mdthrowawayma [5'9 | 95lbs | 14.29 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 18:03:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43rqvh/i_fucking_love_myself/
---
[removed]

[Goal] NSV: my ring doesn't fit anymore.
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 114 lbs | 19.95 | -41 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 16:53:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43rfio/nsv_my_ring_doesnt_fit_anymore/
---
I like to recognize my non-scale victories as much as I can, because I guess it makes me feel more normal. I'm so obsessed with weighing myself that sometimes seeing the other ways I've improved perks me up.

Anyways, I had to buy a ring size adjuster today because my wedding ring is practically falling off all the time. It used to fit fine. Never snug, but perfectly fine. I never knew I had excess fat on my fingers!

I get so caught up on my day to day fluctuations and calories and goals that sometimes I lose sight of just how far I've come. I hope you guys can take a moment to see how far you've come too, and take time to really appreciate what you've accomplished.

[Discussion] You are all so wonderful.
/u/trampledherbage [5'3" | CW: 99 | 18.02 | GW: 93 LW: -16 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 16:38:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43rd6c/you_are_all_so_wonderful/
---
I wanted to introduce myself to this subreddit, and say hi to all of you supportive and compassionate people. I've been lurking for a long time, and I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to read everyone's kind and encouraging comments. This place is truly a non-judgmental sanctuary, and I wanted to thank all of you for contributing to make this community what it is.

I've been locked in a terrible b/p cycle for a few weeks now, and this is my first step to ending the uncontrollable, anxiety fueled binging that has taken over my body and mind alike. I'm going to do better, and keep myself accountable.

Thank you so much, everyone. Really. <3

[Discussion] Bring it on Weather!
/u/cinnarolle [5'5 | 116 | 19.35 | -11 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 16:36:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43rcq1/bring_it_on_weather/
---
I was a little worried about the huge blizzard that was going to be hitting the Midwest and being stuck inside with my awful bingey habits buuuuut my wii u fit came as well as the locks I bought for my refrigerator. I couldn't get food if I tried ah hahahhaha.

I'm actually extremely lucky I have a boyfriend who is willing to help me lose weight by my crazy, very red flaggy ways by keeping the lock combos secret.

This will be the first time in a long time that I've looked forward to tomorrow knowing I will have the will power (or I guess inability) to not eat anything in the kitchen! I'm so excited to get back on track!

[Help] I'm hungry but nauseous....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 1 15:16:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43qz2e/im_hungry_but_nauseous/
---
[deleted]

[Help] has anybody else got or had really high blood pressure?
/u/PurpleRain16 [5'5" | 121lbs | 19.6 | F | GW:105lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 1 14:51:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43qugh/has_anybody_else_got_or_had_really_high_blood/
---
I survive on
One cup of tea for breakfast
One egg mayo roll (~300 cal) for lunch
Sugar free lemonade for tea because it fills me up.
So that's about 320 cal a day.
I've gotten to the point where I don't keep food in the house because I know I will eat it and end up bingeing and purging. I have my tea, and buy my one roll at uni so I don't have to take food home.
I've just been to the doctors and they've told me my blood pressure is dangerously high, but I cant work out why? Has anybody else had this? surely it should be low?
I've lost a 15 lbs in 3 weeks but I don't think this would affect it? Is it the purging that's done it?

[Discussion] Macros
/u/smallprincess [5' | 159# | bmi32.7 | -53# | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 13:42:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43qi5y/macros/
---
Ok, so I have to start understanding my macros and how they effect my weight loss and any muscle gain.

Does anyone around here count/follow their macros and if so, what do you aim for? For what goals? Any suggestions as to where I could get some beginner info on this?

Thanks šŸ˜Š

[Help] Reaching weight loss milestones no longer excites me
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Feb 1 13:23:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43qek3/reaching_weight_loss_milestones_no_longer_excites/
---
So I've been blowing past milestones left and right, but lately I haven't been getting the same elation and sense of accomplishment that I used to. I can lose 2 lbs overnight and feel like "ok cool, whatever"

I miss the high I got from getting closer to my goal. Has this happened to anyone else? Is it just a sign that no progress will ever be good enough anymore? What if I feel that way once I hit my UGW???

[Goal] Another few pounds off, and some of the happiest thoughts yet.
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 12:09:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43q154/another_few_pounds_off_and_some_of_the_happiest/
---
Afternoon, all you wonderful Slims & Lovelies!

So today I checked the scale and I'm holding steady at between 135-138! Great feeling, but it made me realize something that feels even better than I really wanted to share with all of you.


We have done something amazing here.
We live in a world where every moment is screaming at us! "BE THIS. DO THIS. STOP THAT. WANT THIS!"
Our bodies and minds sometimes barely even feel like they belong to us.

But we have found something really amazing here... We OWN our bodies.

In a nation where nearly a third of the population has let go of control and are 'ok' with their bodies, we want more.

We took a long, hard look at the body in the mirror; that crazy machine of cells and ligaments and bones and chemicals. We looked and new we could shape it into anything we wanted.

Out of everything in this world, wars and politics and the changing seasons, we are the one thing we have complete control over.

And every day we are creating our ideal selves.

Thats just beautiful as all hell to me.

So get out there today, you sweet, delicate packages for powerful, incredible souls. Go run, and jump, and scream, and sing, and cry, and laugh, and love.

You are doing something every day that most people will never achieve in a lifetime.

You all inspire me. :)


Edit: tried posting on Facebook about rewarding my success by getting my nails done, but 'nails' autocorrected to 'balls'. Currently dying laughing over my new implied testicles. This would never have happened without all of you.

[Thinspo] New show about bulimia called The Skinny!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 1 12:08:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43q0zy/new_show_about_bulimia_called_the_skinny/
---
http://www.refinery29.com/2016/01/101971/the-skinny-episode-1

Anyone else a "secret eater?"
/u/AllHailTheGlowCloud3 [5'3 | 118lbs | 21.5 | - 27lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 11:46:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43pwqj/anyone_else_a_secret_eater/
---
I have major issues with binge eating, and emotional eating in general (if I have an emotion I eat it). Yesterday my SO was away all day, and it was unusually warm out so I went for a 3 hr walk. Long story short, I came home with a baby-sized burrito and bathtub of milkshake. Something about being alone in the house for once makes me want to eat. Like if no one sees me it didn't happen, or I can enjoy the mass quantities more because I am alone. Does anyone else here eat in secret?

Edit: Thanks everyone! You are kind folk.


[Goal] New fast record :)
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 110.6 | 16.63 | -34 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 10:26:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43phqq/new_fast_record/
---
In 2.5 hours I will have fasted for 60 hours! It's a new record for me!

I felt that yesterday was shockingly easy. I even worked out, and felt pretty good. I went to bed early to avoid the temptation to eat. This morning I feel a bit lightheaded, but otherwise pretty good. I dropped soooo much water weight, a new LW for me! My stomach looks super flat and I'm so pleased.

I biked in to work and wow. The first time I did an all day fast, I got to work and immediately binged on two poptarts. I was just *so hungry*. But now, 59 hours in, I just biked in (super slow lol) and I don't even want to eat. My chest feels a little warm but otherwise, I feel great.

[Help] Was planning to fast, but I don't know if I can do it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 1 10:07:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43pe93/was_planning_to_fast_but_i_dont_know_if_i_can_do/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I cannot believe...
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Mon Feb 1 09:50:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43pb5o/i_cannot_believe/
---
Please bear with me, I feel ridiculous and need someone...

Last summer, I restricted (600-800 cal) and worked out a lot. Ever since school began, I looseend up a little and all but would still have a successful week now and then. Mom keeps saying how I lost weight and all of my friends tell me I look great ("you're not tooth-pick-skinny, you're hot!" ha thanks great kill me) and my personal math tutour is supposedly concerned about me.

Thing is... I think I saw change too. Whenever I sit down I love bringing my knees together because there is space between my legs (thighs are touching at the very top, but things can fall through the gap between my legs). I wear clothes I would've never worn before and sometimes feel good with myself, feel even skinny! (rarely but still)

BUT today happened! I stumbled across a folder with photos of myself from a year ago. Nearly naked. Curious, I took a couple photos now, in the same positions.

I. Can see. No. Difference. So much flab and chub and gross and I feel like crying. I cannot believe this, it simply turned my everything upside down. How is it possible? After all these months upon months of exhilarating struggle! Why? How? Just why?! I don't get it, it's so fucking unfair, I was a binging mess a year ago, gave no shit about what went in, and turning my life upside down made no difference?!?!?! Why is everyone around me lying? Why was I lying to myself by thinking I got skinny?!

Those photos destroyed me...

[Rant] My husband tries to motivate me.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 116.4 | 19.4 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 09:40:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43p982/my_husband_tries_to_motivate_me/
---
But it is very frustrating. He and I live very different lives, my job requires me to be on my feet all day, but not much else physically. His requires intense physical work every day, coupled with mandatory physical fitness tests and training.

He knows I'm unhappy with my body and he does his best to try to motivate me and inspire me but it can get so tiring. He's in great health, works out constantly, and has always been athletic. I've got underdeveloped lungs and horrible asthma.

Last night is a good example of how things go typically. He wanted pizza for dinner and ordered from Dominos. While waiting for the pizza to get here he made a bowl of instant ramen. He sits down, eats half a medium pizza, a box of chicken wings, has a beer and feels good. I sit down, have half a slice of pizza and water and feel guilty.

It's a double edged sword, because he knows I count calories, so if I decide to be lenient and have a whole or second slice of pizza he'll raise an eyebrow and ask me if I'm going to regret it later. He's seen me freak out after a binge.

I know he's trying to be helpful. The effort is sweet and I understand that I can't expect him to know how to act when I keep a lot of the restricting hidden from him. But man, watching him eat and eat and eat and gain nothing but muscle makes me feel horrible.

Anyway, just getting this off my chest.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! February 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 1 09:02:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43p2qn/daily_food_diary_february_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for February 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Thinspo] [Anti-Thinspo] This is just so horrendously disgusting
/u/nicknickedone [5'3" | 106 lbs | 18.75 | -48 lbs]
Created: Mon Feb 1 09:00:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43p2b2/antithinspo_this_is_just_so_horrendously/
---
http://ink361.com/app/users/ig-1416490176/ssbbwbbw_/photos/ig-863537888162399624_1416490176

[Discussion] Exercise - what's your current routine?
/u/thin-kitty [5'6 | 138 | 22.6 | -97 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 08:57:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43p1s2/exercise_whats_your_current_routine/
---
I'm trying to get some new ideas to spice up my routine a bit so I don't get too bored, so what is everyone currently doing for their workouts?

[Discussion] MyFitnessPal Group Link in the Text
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 1 08:49:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43p0hw/myfitnesspal_group_link_in_the_text/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Just had this pop up on my FB last night, now seeing it around Reddit... Seriously??? Todays' reverse thinspo and fast motivation, because apparently I'm ugly AF
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 08:37:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43oyd3/just_had_this_pop_up_on_my_fb_last_night_now/
---
http://imgur.com/T1wuxnv

[Rant] New Job
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 08:21:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ovrk/new_job/
---
Starting a new job today and I'm very scared. ever since the holidays I never really "bounced back" and continued to lose, and I don't want to be the office fat girl. Good thing is it's full time, and they have craft coffee and tea free to employees, so it will be easy to fast all day. Just nervous. I won't be able to stalk this sub during the day as much as usual and I'm going to miss that :(

Fairly pointless post. Just wanted to post.

[Discussion] Coming out of the shadows
/u/huphuplillady [5'9" | 209 | 30.9 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 08:06:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43otjx/coming_out_of_the_shadows/
---
Long time lurker, first time poster.

Just wanted to jump in and introduce myself. I've been lurking this sub for ages now and now that I'm finally starting to pull myself out of a horrible binge cycle, I figured it's time to start getting a little more active here.

Anywho...Like I said, I'm finally starting to get back into the restriction game. I have a long, long history of disordered eating, either heavy restricting or hardcore binging. I've been going through an eighteen month depressive binge period (both food and alcohol) and wound up 40 freaking pounds over my highest weight ever and I'm FINALLY getting into the habit of eating under 600 calories a day so --fingers crossed-- hopefully I'll be able to get myself out of the obese BMI range fairly quickly. I've been living in yoga pants and sweatshirts since August and I'm sick and tired of looking at this bloated, nasty face in the mirror every morning.

So, uh. Yeah. Hi!

[Thinspo] Some quotes/mantras I swear by
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 114 | BMI 17 | -11 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 08:03:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ot1h/some_quotesmantras_i_swear_by/
---
http://imgur.com/a/XiZ6S

[Help] Introducing myself, anyone else here with ptsd?
/u/notyourtoy [5'8" | 135 lbs | 20.30 | -28 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 07:50:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43or4m/introducing_myself_anyone_else_here_with_ptsd/
---
Hi everyone.

I've been obsessively reading this subreddit for two days now and I finally made a flair and decided to introduce myself today.

I'm 26 and I was raised by a highly religious mentally imbalanced mother who gave me an eating disorder on purpose. I don't know how else to explain it, honestly. She constantly questioned my eating. Every time I put something on my plate, especially sweets of any kind, she asked "are you sure you should be eating that?" Every time I said I was hungry she would tell me to drink a glass of water and see if I was still hungry after that. I was also praised for only finishing half of what was on my plate, and all of these behaviors happened both in private and in public.

Add to that my two naturally quite skinny sisters who were constantly praised for their size and eventually you have a complex. I'm also chronically ill with Lyme Disease and will go through periods where I physically can't eat hardly at all because of the gut pain. Of course during these periods I lose a ton of weight, love it, and it fuels my continued restriction afterward.

Currently I'm dealing with a lot of dissociation and PTSD from the more violent parts of my mother's abuse of me as a child and I respond to that by trying to be as small as possible. Or to control my life in some way? I don't know all the psychology of it. Suffice to say, I restrict more when I'm triggered more. I've lost 15 pounds in two months and plateaued for the past two weeks. I know, I know, this is way slower weight loss than a lot of you and that bothers me. I really want to drop faster.

I have a beach trip with friends coming up in May and all the couples in the group have a friendly "hottest couple" contest going. I want to be 120 by May. I feel like this is doable if I'm consistent but I really struggle with rewarding myself with food.

Every time I do something well or I reach a goal professionally or something I go immediately for a food reward. Do any of you guys have ideas for a different kind of reward? I can't really afford to buy myself stuff (not that I want to. I like to have as little stuff as possible and keep my life simple.)

Does anyone have ideas? I have always worked on a self-reward system and the reward is always food. Like, in college I could live two days on one Slim Jim, but if I finished all my homework then I'd reward myself with a cookie. It was dumb then, it's dumb now.

Anyway, I wanted to introduce myself. This is quite possibly one of the most kind, loving, supportive, and accepting communities I've ever found on the internet.

[Discussion] Has anyone here read the book Only Ever Yours?
/u/nvrgonnaleavethisBED [5'10"|158.4|22.2| -19.4lb |F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 07:34:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43oor1/has_anyone_here_read_the_book_only_ever_yours/
---
I finished it recently and can't get it out of my mind. It deals with issues of beauty, and weight, and body image, and value in a pretty extreme dystopian way and it reminded me of this sub a lot.

If anyone has read it, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

[Help] 3 week binge
/u/AlmondDarling [5'6.5" | 144.6 | 23 | -17 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 07:29:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43oo55/3_week_binge/
---
I've been on a three week binge now. All the food I want, all the booze I want.

How do you stop? Gaah! This is killing me I'm trying so hard to just have one day under control and I feel like I can't make it past dinner time.

How do you ladies and gents stop yourselves?

[Rant] I know a girl, most people would call her "chubby".
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|125lb|23.9|-55lb|F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 07:27:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ontd/i_know_a_girl_most_people_would_call_her_chubby/
---
She's 5'5" and probably close to 200 lbs. I spent the weekend hanging out with her, Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning. She eats pretty much constantly, but that's not what gets me. It's how *shamelessly* she does it. She takes it for granted that it's OK to eat whatever she wants. She doesn't make excuses or waffle about whether she should eat something. If she wants it, she eats it.

Even when I "didn't care" that I was fat and just accepted being a fat blob because that was who I was and what I deserved -- I could never eat without guilt. I couldn't pay for food without feeling like I was being judged. I could never enjoy a meal without thinking that I shouldn't have eaten it.

Realistically, I've never felt that I deserved anything good in my entire life. I don't even know what that means or feels like. There are just some things that are necessary if I'm to begrudgingly continue my existence. But I'd rather cut down that list to the barest minimum possible.

[Rant] Reiterating the importance of sleep.
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 06:28:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ofic/reiterating_the_importance_of_sleep/
---
Last night, I procrastinated until 2AM to start a reading that would take me until 5:30AM to complete. I was excited and hopeful this morning because I thought I would have lost weight (actually was active yesterday).

But, I gained .8 lbs. Apparently my body is protesting 2 hours of sleep for the past 3 nights.... I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but with an intake under 150, I'm forced to face the fact that my sleeping schedule is adversely affecting my weight loss.

So this is my commitment to you all, and myself, to GET TO FUCKING SLEEP ON TIME and DO MY BLOODY HOMEWORK.

That is all. End rant.

[Discussion] So apparently you CAN gain muscle while on a deficit
/u/Mi_ra [5'5 | 96,8 | 16,3| -31,2 | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 05:49:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43oas0/so_apparently_you_can_gain_muscle_while_on_a/
---
This just came up in Fitness https:// www.reddit.com/r/ Fitness/comments/43llv4/mcmaster_university_study_40_calorie_deficit_over/(I don't want to put direct link to not to advertise this sub's existence, but if you copy/paste that to your address bar and delete the spaces, you get there)

I know I'm not the only one who's been wondering about this.

edit: I have to admit I read the conversation over at Fitness pretty carelessly. I did gather from the article that this would be extremely difficult - which is kind of good news, as most people here seem to be worried about the chance they'd gain muscle. I just didn't know it was possible at all, and that's why I shared this. Thank you all for your comments!

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! February 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Feb 1 05:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43o5wp/weekly_stats_update_february_01_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for February 01, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

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Has anyone found this accurate?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Feb 1 03:03:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43nu98/has_anyone_found_this_accurate/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] My story, I guess?
/u/MissObeast [5'2" | 230lbs | 43.58 | -30lb | F]
Created: Mon Feb 1 01:25:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43nl5w/my_story_i_guess/
---
I am obese. Very much so, in fact. But I wasn't always huge.

In high school (~6 years ago), I weighed 120lbs. Senior year, I got pregnant and swelled up to around 150lb. Had the baby two months before graduation and lost every pound I had gained before I came home from the hospital. After graduation, I became a stay-at-home mom. This is where my problems began.

I stopped being active at all. I was stuck inside all day, every day with a colicky baby. The only thing that made me feel better was food.

Fast forward four years, and I'm at 260lbs. An all-time high that I'm terrified to see again. By some miracle, I got pregnant again. I was so afraid that my weight would lead to a miscarriage. I started doing prenatal yoga, walking, and I cut out sugar. I ended up losing 30lbs during the pregnancy. When my baby was born, I decided to breastfeed. Because I wanted to continue to give my little one the best nutrition possible, I kept on with the no-sugar diet, and also cut out white breads/potatoes/pasta. This lead me to another 20 pound loss.

Losing weight was very validating for me. My husband seemed to be more attracted to me (I mean, of course he was. I was freaking huge before). So I started restricting to maximize loss. In a few months, I was down to 180lbs.

Apparently, I flew too close to the sun. My husband got suspicious and started watching me very closely. So, no more restricting.

This was about six months ago, and I have gained back 50 freaking pounds. I'm disgusted with myself. I can't stop bingeing. Even though I count every single damned calorie, I can't make myself stop. I honestly don't know what to do. I think the suspicion of an ED has passed, and I want to start restricting again, but I don't even know where to start. I feel like I'm drowning in adipose. I'm having trouble breathing, my heart beats too hard even when I'm just sitting on the couch. I'm afraid I'm going to die young and never see my grandchildren, all because I don't have the willpower to stop eating. I don't even enjoy it anymore. It doesn't feel good, but I still can't stop. Just an hour ago, I ate a whole box of Little Debbie valentine cakes, sobbing the entire time. My kids don't understand why I can't run and play with them like their friends' moms do, and I hate myself. If I could take a knife and cut off every single roll, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Someone, PLEASE, tell me what I can do to get back on the right track. I miss my collarbones.

[Discussion] performance art v anorexia
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 114.4 lb | 22.34 | -13.5| Female]
Created: Mon Feb 1 00:33:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ng3x/performance_art_v_anorexia/
---
http://www.vmagazine.com/site/content/2651/millie-brown-survived-wilting-point

I saw this artist today, she had not eaten for 5 days as an art project... same....

deff was not able to objectively discuss this one with friends...

[Help] ECA Stack equiv for aussies?
/u/yemeyenkiz [5"6' | 125 lbs | BM I 20.83 | +25lbs |Female]
Created: Sun Jan 31 23:57:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ncem/eca_stack_equiv_for_aussies/
---
It seems like ephedrine is really restricted in Australia are there any people currently living in Aus that know where to get it? Or is it so restricted that im better off trying pseudoephedrine? If anyone has tried pseudoephedrine how does this compare, i imagine it isnt as effective but even a slight improvement is better than nothing!
Cheers!

[Goal] I'm going to have a binge free February--let's keep each other accountable
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 31 23:29:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43n9gp/im_going_to_have_a_binge_free_februarylets_keep/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] MFP woes
/u/_syncopate_
Created: Sun Jan 31 22:08:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43mzo6/mfp_woes/
---
I hate how MFP doesn't let you log if you're under like 1000 calories. I just want to know how much weight I'll lose...

End rant.

Y'all can PM me if you want to be friends :)

[Discussion] binge
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 114.4 lb | 22.34 | -13.5| Female]
Created: Sun Jan 31 21:46:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43mwnf/binge/
---
friday night i was making cookies for friends and thought i could eat a nibble of cookie dough.. which turned into a chunk, oreos, and ice cream. it was my first binge in 27 days. Usually i binge day after day once i did, but did a good job restricting yesterday, and today i made about 100 cookies for my friends and didnt even try a tinybite!!! this si the first time i feel like i really was able to "recover" from a binge slip up. side note- why do i love making food for others when i am restricting...


[Goal] I'm feeling much better! So, I need to set a goal for myself.
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 117.8 lbs | 21.5 | -13.8 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 21:45:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43mwix/im_feeling_much_better_so_i_need_to_set_a_goal/
---
3 nights ago (Thursday) I posted a rant about being depressed and how I hated myself after I had seen my ex.

Well, those feelings are gone. Last night, my ex and I got back together. I had to meet up with him at our firehouse for something and then basically he started getting extra flirty so, so did I, and then... he just leaned in and kissed me out of nowhere. I was really taken aback, but I'm so happy he's back in my life.

So, you know what I did on my way home? Treated myself to damn McDonald's. and then today I went to a buffet with my family. WTF! I binged twice within 24 hours because of this good mood.

I haven't weighed myself, I don't want to. I'll wait about 2 days. I just took a laxative so hopefully that'll give me a little head start again.

So, I'm setting a goal so this good mood doesn't put me in a binge state and totally mess up my progress here. Valentine's day is 2 weeks away and my plan is to take some nice boudoir-type pictures for the boyfriend. I want to be at least 117 in exactly a week from now because that's when I'll take the pictures (so I have the following week to edit and process the photos and what not).

I already told my boyfriend the plan to take pictures, and now I'm telling all of you for accountability. Wish me luck!

Also, just want to say thank you to everyone who commented on the previous post and said they hope I feel better or they're here for me. It honestly means a lot that some strangers took the time to comment to say something nice while I was upset. Even if I didn't get to reply to you (haven't been on in 2 days), I want you to know that I thank you! And I'm definitely here for anyone who needs it also.

[Discussion] [Discussion] Guys, what has your experience with an ED like? Does it seem to differ from girls?
/u/alliealleyat
Created: Sun Jan 31 21:18:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43msvp/discussion_guys_what_has_your_experience_with_an/
---
EDIT: Thanks, guys, for your perspectives. Really happy you opened up and shared your experiences.

[Discussion] THIS IS IT!!!!
/u/Panda_Melody
Created: Sun Jan 31 21:13:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ms7f/this_is_it/
---
Alright! This is it my skinny minnys!

IM SICK! :D like sinus infection or something.

I love being sick. I can restrict and nobody cares cause thats what people do when theyre sick. They dont eat!

Today is my 4th day in a row working. Nobody at my job seems to give a fuck if youre sick they wont send me home and im not gonna call in. Ive been getting progressively worse and worse these past 4days starting with a sore throat and now full blown cold possibly sinus infection symptoms.

Work all day. Take nyquil and sleep all night im currently just hit the 48hour mark for this current fast and its all thanks to being sick. Pretty messed up but i have no intention of going to the dr to get better unless i feel like im in any danger. This is my chance to fast till im perfect.

Also im pretty sure my metabolism speeds up or something when im sick because in the past 48 hours i have FINALY broken through this awful plateau of hovering at 139-140 and i am 138.8!!!!

I got back on track around june or july of this summer i really cant remember and was 167 (bleh) and in 2 1/2 months i managed to get down to 140 but ive been stuck there for so long!! This was that little extra push i needed !

Sorry for the long ranty post. Thanks for readin.

[Thinspo] I laughed a little, I cried a little--interesting series called Skinny.
/u/ariaaaa [5'0 | 112.8 | 23.20 | -7.2 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 20:44:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43mnx8/i_laughed_a_little_i_cried_a_littleinteresting/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSUXwnThL7s

[Discussion] Intro: Breastfeeding and restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 31 18:16:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43m1wj/intro_breastfeeding_and_restricting/
---
I have been lurking here but I wanted to actually introduce myself and I am hoping to make a couple of friends who can relate to my control issues and my problems with food.

I sometimes wish I could take a picture of how my mind works with relation to food. I feel like i understand exactly why I am the way that I am, but I don't really know how to change the thought patterns that lead to me binging and starving.

I grew up poor and I ate a lot of bologna, spam, canned food, and white bread /sugar. I was always very plump but I never felt satisfied from food so I would starve myself for weeks claiming to be 'vegan' and when i would cave, I would binge on fast food and frozen meals. I don't remember when it happened but I completely gave up trying to control any aspect of my life during my early 20s.

I drank a lot, smoked like a behemoth, ate whatever /whenever. I was out of control. Then I started going to parties and taking molly which totally killed my appetite so I did that regularly for a long time but it was really messing with my overall health. I was fainting a lot and had no energy so I had to take a step back from it.

Then I got pregnant and a year after my baby's birth, I'm a mess. I can't control my appetite. I'm breastfeeding so I am legitimately always feeling hungry and afraid to restrict because I want to be able to continue nursing him until he is ready to stop.

But I'm so disgusted with myself. My body is downright rubenesque and my yoni is so stretched out from the birth, I feel like a waste.

I would love to hear from anyone who can relate. Any tips or advice for getting back on track without losing my milk supply?

[Goal] Stopped all fast food + started taking primatene!
/u/skinnystupid [5'2 | 114.6 | 21 | 30.4lbs lost | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 18:09:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43m0s6/stopped_all_fast_food_started_taking_primatene/
---
My scale is currently broken and I don't have much money right now, so I've been using the one at my boyfriend's place. I hadn't been there since Wednesday. Since my last post, I completely stopped eating fast food as my one meal of calories and I started taking primatene. 3.6 pounds down in five days. Hell. fucking. yes.

[Rant] HAHA FUCK THIS FUCK EVERYTHING :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 31 13:49:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43kul8/haha_fuck_this_fuck_everything/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Just had a "big" binge and now i feel so awful, cant purge..
/u/stjarnlax
Created: Sun Jan 31 13:34:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ks15/just_had_a_big_binge_and_now_i_feel_so_awful_cant/
---
I got home and just stuffed my face with sweets and chocolate and biscuits, I started out thinking id just have one piece and it just got worse and worse and worse.. From having been at 500 cals thinking the one square was ok im not at 2000. Feels so fucking awful. Ive been gaining so much weight lately and I feel so fat and dissapointed in myself.

I found some webbsite where you can look at pictures of people with their height and weight and people at my height and weight just look so soft and average and plain. Im supposed to be in recovery and getting better but the weight gain is really getting to me and i just feel like giving up completely
Im not sure what im looking for exactly, just wanted to get it out and down somewhere

[Rant] Did something I've never done before last night.
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sun Jan 31 13:18:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43kpgc/did_something_ive_never_done_before_last_night/
---
And honestly guys, I feel pretty fucking disgusted with myself.



So my periods coming, and because of that I'm craving chocolate. I wanted chocolate so badly and I knew there was a bag of leftover mini chocolate bars from Halloween. So you know what I did? In my fucked up head I thought I could trick my brain into thinking I got my binge, and also eliminate the temptation by not actually swallowing any.



Yep that's right, I probably took close to 20 mini butterfingers, chewed them up and spat them into a cup. What the fuck is wrong with me? Has anyone else done this?


On the bright side, I did feel oddly full and gross like I would after a binge so I guess I did get what I want. And in a weird way I feel like I displayed a crazy amount of willpower.

[Rant] Fasting Until Goal Weight
/u/Kapattak [5'7" | 124.4 | 19.42 | -16.8 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 12:14:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43keqb/fasting_until_goal_weight/
---
Starting today, I plan on going on a zero cal fast until Thursday. When I fast, I tend to lose 2 lbs per day, and according to that I should be hitting my goal of 120 lbs on Thursday morning.

I am tired of gaining and losing the same 10 pounds, I want to finally hit my goal weight, to finally be happy. I have never seen the scale below 123, and I am ready.






Kik me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 31 11:29:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43k75e/kik_me/
---
[removed]

[Help] IBS and other tummy troubles. TMI probably
/u/sewnp [168cm | GW:90lbs | NB]
Created: Sun Jan 31 11:16:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43k54o/ibs_and_other_tummy_troubles_tmi_probably/
---
Hey everyone!

I'm possibly making a trip to the store this evening to get myself some non-food related items(currently not at ALL interested in food considering my intense stomach upsetness from not pooping), so I was wondering if the lovely people here have any recommendations for fiber supplements, stool softeners, or just anything like that to make my digestive life easier? I'm probably going to a Walmart if that helps.

Preferably something cheap, I'm currently very poor haha. Thank you in advance!

[Discussion] My life is getting better because of restricting again...
/u/whaletorail [5'6 | 228 | 36 | -13 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 10:52:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43k17h/my_life_is_getting_better_because_of_restricting/
---
I was just sitting here thinking about why certain aspects of my life are changing in this last month. Last week I had one of the first calm discussions with my SO in 4 years about our relationship without crying or getting into a fight. I have put in effort for a grief counselor for the death of my dad. I've been doodling are again, something I haven't done in years.

I feel like myself again and I think its because im restricting again. I'm under 1000 a day, I've had a few days over but I've followed those with fasts or liquid only. So far I've lost 12 pounds since I started here a month ago <3 thank you so much for being such a wonderful community.

My next goal is 200 by march 5th... So I have to hit the restrictions even tougher this month. <3

Have even of you experienced this before? Restricting just makes your life come together?

[Discussion] Do you count everyday tasks?
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Sun Jan 31 10:39:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43jz8r/do_you_count_everyday_tasks/
---
When figuring calories burned, do include mundane things like cleaning house?

[Discussion] Tomorrow starts a brand new month! What are your goals for February? What goals did you hit in January?
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 10:37:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43jyvb/tomorrow_starts_a_brand_new_month_what_are_your/
---
Here's mine!

**What went well in January:**

* After a pretty disastrous start, I pulled it together! After the first week and a half, I'm binge/purge free for this month.

* I had a total a 3 weight goals that mean something in my head. This month, I hit my first one!

* This is very first world problem, but... I finally caved and donated nearly everything I owned because it was falling off of me in ridiculous ways! As such, I'm slowly reforming my closest and starting to actually have a pretty fantastic "style" that people comment and compliment. Yay!

**What I want for February:**

* B/P free the WHOLE month

* My second weight goal is really close, so I know I can do that with no issues, but I'd really love to see if I can get the UWG this month by the end of it. (Sadly, it being a short month, the math puts it just out of reach if I stay the course I have right now... but I'm going to be silly right this second and say "what does the math actually know? AM I RIGHT?)

* I've done all the facial measurements, all the makeover websites, and consulted a hairstylist at an actual salon and they all say that there's no reason in the world that my face shape and type can't pull off an amazing pixie cut. Right now, I have a med-short bob, which, don't get me wrong... it's cute, but... The problem is, that, in my head, is not a look that heavier people should be trying to pull off? My head sees it as just one more thing that looks better the smaller you are. So I've held off for what feels like forever. I WANT THAT PIXIE CUT! The goal here is to get to a weight THIS MONTH where I can finally go "Yep, time to rock!"

* Eh... heh... Okay so, confession time. I don't always take my multi's or my fish oil. Baaaaaaaaad Twosi! Baaaaaaad! I'm going to make it an absolute goal right here. All month, every day, be 100% bang on with both.

* Sleep. Oh dear lord, Twosi, you need SLEEP! I had a goal before the new year to make sure I'm getting enough sleep (8 hours or more if I can) and then I catch myself browsing the internet at 3 am and I'm just like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET IN BED THIS SECOND YOUNG LADY!" I'm a cranky self parent. But yes, get this back on track! 8 or more! GO!

* Water. On the suggestion of one of you lovelies, I got this adorable little app for my phone called Plant Nanny. And the first plant went great... and then I nearly have killed every single plant since. Never ACTUALLY killed one yet, but it's come darn close. Which means that not only am I terrible at gardening, but I'm dehydrated as fack! Not good. I'm redoubling that effort this month. My goal is no sickly plants and my full quota of water daily!

(I may add in a goal having to do with my fitbit, but I'm still kicking that one around. I keep forgetting to put it on and keep it charged. If I do, I'll make sure to figure out how to give you guys my info so you can add me and I can join the step group fun!)

[Thinspo] first time posting: here's 48 of my favorite thinspo pics!
/u/skin_on_seashells [5'9 | 118 | 17.5 | 12 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 10:21:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43jw9p/first_time_posting_heres_48_of_my_favorite/
---
http://imgur.com/a/msk37

[Rant] Gained weight
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 10:16:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43jvka/gained_weight/
---
Fuck, I gained weight because of my binging. I don't know my weight, but I know I gained because I can't wrap my hand around my upper arm anymore. I feel so disgusting. I just want to die. I look so horrible and fat

I really want to binge right now, even though it's counter productive.

[Discussion] Going out to eat
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 155 | 24.2 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 10:08:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ju7x/going_out_to_eat/
---
My friends constantly want to go out for lunch/dinner. I tell myself that I'll eat before so I don't binge when I'm out, but it literally never works. It's so hard when there's just like a basket of bread sitting in front of me. Sometimes I feel like food is an addiction to me. Like I can tell myself I don't need it and I could just go without it, but I always give in. We always end up going to like Cheesecake Factory or Applebee's where literally everything is 1000+ calories for one meal, which is more than I usually eat during a normal day. If I ate like a normal person and actually wasn't disgusted by all vegetables, I would just get a salad or some thing, but I feel like my healthy options are very limited. Does anyone else have this problem?

[Goal] Starting a water fast tomorrow!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 31 09:08:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43jlb1/starting_a_water_fast_tomorrow/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 31, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 31 09:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43jkgw/daily_food_diary_january_31_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 31, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant] Food Ads Everywhere
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Sun Jan 31 08:24:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43jf9c/food_ads_everywhere/
---
I don't realize just how many pictures of food are out there (billboards, Facebook, internet in general, tv, radio (not pics but still) until I'm restricting.

It's like there's some tacit agreement for the world to make everything about food. I have ad blockers on my browser, but I can't do that on my phone.

Good thing is most of them involve meat, which grosses me out. Woo.

[Discussion] What's your favorite shirataki noodle?
/u/EdKnowsThrowaway [5'3 | 53.9kg | 21.63 | ? | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 07:25:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43j7ys/whats_your_favorite_shirataki_noodle/
---
I haven't tried any shirataki noodles yet, so I'm wondering which brand/type is your favorite? Are there any I should avoid? Thanks!

[Discussion] Actually, I can choose not to eat.
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 04:00:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ip0v/actually_i_can_choose_not_to_eat/
---
After binging so much for months on end, I'm deciding not to give into it anymore. I used to find comfort in refusing to eat, it empowered me. I don't see why I can't do that again. I don't see why I'd rather find comfort in binging, when it makes me feel powerless. I built a wall of anxiety around me feeling as if everyone is watching my every move, when in reality there have been so much moments when I could've easily lied about having already eaten. My parents actually think that I eat much less than I do, so while they're at it, I can stop being so paranoid and restrict hard-core. There is no higher force that controls me, I am in control of myself, I can choose not to eat.

[Discussion] Once you've hit your goal?
/u/_wildstrawberries [175 | 80 | 25.67 | M]
Created: Sun Jan 31 02:22:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43iho3/once_youve_hit_your_goal/
---
are any of you worried you won't feel different? I've seen a few girls/guys post concerns that once they have reached their goals, they still feel the same way.

[Goal] I finally have a tangible goal to work for and I'm excited.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 31 00:20:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43i7os/i_finally_have_a_tangible_goal_to_work_for_and_im/
---
Of course I want to lose weight and be smaller, but it's such a general goal sometimes. If I give myself a certain time, nothing happens if I fail. I have no job or school or anything. Nothing to push for.

But now I'm going to Seattle at the end of February. 30 days is enough time to stay motivated and make a difference.

I'd like to be 127 when I get there. I can do this. It's a decent goal and it'll be better since I'm actively working towards it. I already need new pants, but I'll let myself buy new jeans for the trip if I reach my goal.

I suppose I'm posting for accountability and future reference, but I'm just glad I have a place to share this.

[Help] Where do I send my bathroom scale to get fixed?
/u/Chuchoterit
Created: Sat Jan 30 23:36:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43i3lk/where_do_i_send_my_bathroom_scale_to_get_fixed/
---
So I have a mechanical/analog bathroom scale that's that's older than me. It's my primary scale and I'm afraid it's going to break soon. I'm extremely set in my routine and don't know what I'd do without it. But, where do you send a scale to get fixed?
Would the person who replaces my watch batteries know how?

[Rant] 8 weeks...
/u/Skinnyinthemaking [159cm | NOT LOW ENOUGH | 19.5 | -2.2kg | F | GW: 42kg]
Created: Sat Jan 30 22:58:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43hzur/8_weeks/
---
My goal weight is only 8kg away, and with a deficit of 1000, easy, that's gone in 2 months. But the thing is I say this to myself time and time again. Last week my goal was 'just eight weeks away', last month it was 'just eight weeks away' and it still nothing has changed, I'm stuck in this perpetual state of being so close but just not close enough to find the discipline to stop eating constantly.

Not that it's helped by the fact that I live with my parents, and there is a huge drawer full of chocolate and cookies and everything that will put a stop to what I want most. It would be so much easier if they just weren't there but as it is there's always this voice in the back of my mind saying over and over again- 'you can start tomorrow, one cookie won't hurt' because I know they're just a matter of seconds away from me. Also there's the fact my parents will get insanely suspicious if that stuff suddenly stops disappearing and I started losing weight at the same time. I can't bin it because they'd see in there, I can't flush it, I can't get rid of it in any way. The same with normal meals. I barely have any chance to exercise or they get really suspicious since last year, seeing as when I started putting on weight again almost a year ago I stopped exercising completely. I used all my excuses last year and now it's left me trapped.

I guess by this point I'm just desperate. I have prom this year and I'm going to look like a gelatinous lump in my dress, I constantly feel like no one is going to take me seriously because I'm the ugly one mainly to do with my body, and my feelings aren't valid any more in my mind because I don't have the willpower to avoid food for those short eight weeks.

But the worst thing? The fact that I know there's no one else to blame but myself. Then I get depressed. Then I eat more. Then the cycle continues, and I end up typing ridiculously long barely coherent rants such as this one at almost 6am because I can never sleep any more because I constantly feel like I'm taking up too much space and because I'm constantly stressing out about one thing or another, mainly this.

Congrats if any of you got to the end of this. I seriously just needed to vent or I'd never be able to sleep. I'm just ridiculously desperate by this point.

[Discussion] Support Group in MyFitnessPal
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 30 21:50:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43hsan/support_group_in_myfitnesspal/
---
[deleted]

Fasting Tips?
/u/chimichanga_mischief [5"4 | 146 | 25.5 | -16 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 21:25:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43hpax/fasting_tips/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] intro post
/u/sewnp [168cm | GW:90lbs | NB]
Created: Sat Jan 30 21:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43hod2/intro_post/
---
hey everyone. i made a separate account just for this sub and i hope we can all get along.


where do i even start with myself, when i was a kid i was relentlessly bullied for multiple things; the most constant being my weight. (ooh big reveal huh) so, of course, over the years I began to hate my body. I remember being too afraid to go to school(for being seen and being bullied etc) and just fighting with my mom every single morning, begging her not to make me go. she never cared tbh. she thought i was lying the whole time.


i was basically bullied from 3rd grade up until i went into independent study at 11th grade because i honestly couldn't take it anymore lol. while in highschool, my last couple years in 'real' school, i ended up not eating during school and only eating once during the day. plus i walked EVERYWHERE and lost a lot of weight. (i still wasn't happy tho haha all is fat)


i was going out with this girl during my independent study days and she broke up with me twice. (once and then we got back together and then she did it again) all in all it made me have a full blown mental breakdown, worse than i've ever had before and i went into a huge depression; three year severe depression to be exact.(to be even more exact i would mood swing depression -> anger -> anxiety and then repeat. didn't know what bpd was back then) i spent the first year going in between hating her and loving her and just spamming her with all these crazy messages. (woohoo my bpd ass) by the end of that year i strongly relied on weed to help me ignore my feelings and spent the next two years in a really bad addiction with both weed and food. and i was out of highschool so i had a LOT of free time.


i frequented tumblr(introduced to it by my ex) and made a very good friend on there after fucking over all my over irl friends (i was paranoid they all hated me and felt they were better off without me?? i also was intensely splitting and dissociating all the time so it was hard for me to really care about what i was doing. plus i had a lot of them tell me 'just get over it' when i was depressed so lmao never say that to me) i got to my highest weight ever by being in that vicious cycle of smoke -> binge and my mom would literally take every single opportunity she got to just fucking grill me about not getting a job or doing 'adult' things.


most recently, i moved out here to the same town as my online friend. i majorly moved away from my family because my mom is a huge fucking asshole who doesn't care about anyone but herself and she was slowly killing me with neglect. i lost some weight but it's still not even near my lowest weight.


my eating disorder is probably EDNOS because i go in extremes from binging to restricting.(but who cares) currently i've been trying very fucking hard to find a job to fill out my time that i'm alone with my feelings and thoughts to avoid the binge side of it. i thought living in my own apartment would make it easier to restrict but honestly for me it's made it harder. i feel like i'm stuck here with this food and i feel so god damn empty that i get so desperate to fill my body with something. which, ironically, just makes me wish i was dead haha. i'm currently attempting to restrict to 800/kcal a day with two fasting days peppered in there. so far, it's been not going so great.


so yeah. here's my long, no sense making intro. i hope we can support each other and i'll try my best to be semi-active or something. maybe it'd help me avoid binges.


**tl;dr**: my long ass intro. was bullied as a kid, mom didn't love me enough, eating disorder roller coaster, and mental illnesses everywhere. trying to become a semi-fully functioning adult being or at least give off the impression that i am one.

**EDIT**: 'it really sucks' is my favorite term apparently

[Rant] I'm a pretty gross human being tbh. TMI/NSFL
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 30 20:02:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43hehx/im_a_pretty_gross_human_being_tbh_tminsfl/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I just ate for the first time since Thursday and I feel DRUNK
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|133.5lb|25.6|-25.5lb|F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 19:58:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43hdw3/i_just_ate_for_the_first_time_since_thursday_and/
---
Is this normal?!?!?!

[Discussion] almost at my lowest weight again but i don't feel the same
/u/darkblueplates [5'5" | 90.4 | 15.24 | GW: 79 LW: 89 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 18:24:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43h0nk/almost_at_my_lowest_weight_again_but_i_dont_feel/
---
i'm almost near my lowest weight again, but i don't feel the same sort of skinny i felt when i was there AT ALL. i don't feel any difference; i feel the same way i felt when i was 97lbs a couple of months ago. :/ is this just me or has anyone else experienced the same thing?

[Discussion] It's my cakeday and I appreciate you all so much <3
/u/thishour [64 in | 114 lbs | 19.57 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 16:57:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43gno2/its_my_cakeday_and_i_appreciate_you_all_so_much_3/
---
Thank you for understanding and posting and sharing and helping me through life. I feel like I have somewhere to go when I am struggling or need support. This is such a positive place for me.

[Help] How do you cope with the loss of concentration?
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 16:45:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43glrf/how_do_you_cope_with_the_loss_of_concentration/
---
Hi all, sorry I've been posting a lot lately. This week I've been majorly restricting, and today and tomorrow are fast days for me. But I'm hitting a wall. I need to do my homework, but all I can think about is food... It's not even the hunger that bothers me anymore, it's just the lack of concentration. Any suggestions? Thanks.

[Help] Calculating a weekly deficit?
/u/astr0zombie [5'7 | 140.6 lbs| 21.9 | -19.4lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 16:13:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ggmu/calculating_a_weekly_deficit/
---
Ok so I'm having a dumb moment but to calculate your projected weight loss all you do is take your weekly calories burned (so ~17000 according to my Fitbit) and subtract the number of calories you ate for the week and then divide by 3500, right?

I'm going out tonight more than likely so I'm trying to calculate how much it will effect my week.

If that formula is right and I keep today under 1200 I got 3.76 as my weight loss this week.

I feel like I'm not doing something right?


Edit: on mobile at work, so cannot tag post :/

[Rant] wanting to eat but not wanting to
/u/lesoleiletlalune [5'4" | 130 | 22.75 | -30 | f]
Created: Sat Jan 30 16:02:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43gf26/wanting_to_eat_but_not_wanting_to/
---
I've been doing really well lately. haven't had an opportunity to weigh myself since I've relapsed but I can tell I've lost weight. I have a night in with my fiancƩ tonight and part of me really wants to order a vegan pizza (not greasy, just a lot of food) with him and enjoy it but the other part of me doesn't even want to eat the free leftovers of delicious, healthy, homemade curry in the fridge. I both want to treat myself to something I don't need and want to deny myself something that wouldn't be that bad. it's driving me crazy! I should just have a small portion of the leftovers but my brain is in this weird "treat or nothing" mode. I'll figure it out, I just needed to vent about it.

update: I ate a small portion of the leftovers, but then I caved and "snacked" (mini-binged) on tortilla chips and bean dip with my fiancƩ ugh. not losing weight today. tomorrow will be better.

[Help] What do you wear?
/u/LilyMae91 [5'7 | 109.5 | 17.1 | 20 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 15:38:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43gben/what_do_you_wear/
---
Okay, so, ugh. My head is all over the place so this might not be the most eloquent thing I've ever posted.

Basically, people are noticing now. I went through a stage of being pissed off that nobody noticed to now getting absolutely sick of it. Friends, colleagues, parents... they're all making comments. I'm pretty close to my UGW (100) but that's also still another 9lb (and would take me to a BMI of 15.6).

I tend to wear tight jeans/leggings with a long sleeve top or jumper. If I'm going out, then I'll wear a crop-top or vest type thing, with my leather jacket and boots. I wore this on Thursday and I had comments. So on Friday I decided to try the old 'baggy clothes' thing. BAD IDEA. I got more, more comments wearing that.

So, essentially, what do I do? If I wear skintight clothing people can see how lanky I am. If I wear baggy clothing it makes me look thinner. I have to hide this better if I want to hit that UGW.

Any advice/pics/anything would be really helpful right now.

Thanks xo

[Rant] Craving peanut butter
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 15:21:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43g8lx/craving_peanut_butter/
---
I'm really craving peanut butter right now, but I know if I have some I'll binge. I might be able to work it into my calories for an evening snack, but I just want to eat a whole jar. Why must peanut butter be so delicious and addictive?

I feel so guilty, I need to write these thoughts down right now.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 15:10:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43g6s0/i_feel_so_guilty_i_need_to_write_these_thoughts/
---
Today was such an amazing day. I got up early, went to my nephew's karate practice, hit it off with the instructor & some other adults, SIGNED UP FOR KICKBOXING CLASSES STARTING MONDAY!!:) -huge success, I've been wanting this for months but was too intimidated- I then went to the park and took a long, long nature walk. I ate healthy all day. I left the park to drive to the bookstore where I strategically planned to enjoy my hot black coffee and a book.

And then. I binged. I parked my car, walked into a cupcake shop, walked back with 2 bags + a coffee in my hand, sat in my car and hid and ate a glazed donut with sprinkles and a chocolate chip cheesecake muffin within seconds. I sat crouched down with my eyes darting around frantically making sure no one was walking by, I had crumbs all over my face and scarf and car. My hands were shaking and heart racing. I used the hot coffee to gulp down the pastries faster then I could chew, essentially burning my mouth and gulping air. It was humiliating, animalistic, sloppy, painful, embarrassing and devastating. And the pastries were not even good. AS I guzzled them down, I acknowledged that they were not good. But I couldn't stop. My day was so positive and productive. Why does this happen? I was so sure of myself today, so content, not even HUNGRY, not even STARVING, not even CRAVING like I usually am. Of all days? What is wrong with me? Who did that - who binged - because I feel like I momentarily was not present and then I floated back into my body once the food was gone. What the fuck.

After the binge, I sat with myself. Just sat and stared. I refused to feel any emotion. I wouldn't be able to handle the defeat. Sitting in my car on a bright sunny, wonderful day having just let myself go and let myself down in the worst way? No way. So I drove home. Made hot tea. Sat upright on the couch and drank it. I'm still sitting up right. I'm terrified to feel sick from the sugar overload or get acid reflux. I'm going to let this digest, drink water, and sit upright for the next 1.5-2 hours.

And then I'm going to go to the gym and kick cardio's ass. And my own ass. I will not let this ruin my day. I will not succumb and binge all night. I can't handle that. I can still fix this. I'm still in control.

The sugary, fattening 2 pastries swirling inside of me are simply excessive energy that I will utilize tonight at the gym. They do not define me. They will not ruin me. I will bounce back even stronger, with an amazing gym session to show for it.

And then I will drink hot tea and water for the rest of the night.

Thanks for letting me spill. The anxiety was beginning to swell inside of me and my chest feels tight and I couldn't be alone with this.

[Discussion] Chew and spit
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Sat Jan 30 14:24:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43g1fq/chew_and_spit/
---
What do you think of chewing a spitting. I've been told that it's bad for your body. Anyone have anything to back this up? I never thought if it that way, you're not really doing anything but chewing.

It doesn't really do anything other than ruin my appetite sometimes because I find chewed up food really disgusting. But if my appetite is ruined, it's a success. xD

[Discussion] Sugar free jello cups
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 13:48:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43fvm6/sugar_free_jello_cups/
---
I just discovered these sugar free jello cups. They are only 5 cals per cup, I could eat the whole pack for just 30 calories. I've been looking for low cal jello cups forever, but I was looking in the wrong section of the grocery store. I'm pretty happy that I found them.

I also bought laughing cow cheese wedges that people keep raving about on here, I'm excited to try them.

[Rant] Sunday.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sat Jan 30 13:39:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43fu03/sunday/
---
I hate letting people down and so I posted this on here as to make sure I stick to my word.

Tomorrow I have architecture lessons. I'll take up at 6am, start lessons at 8 and draw until ~3pm. We're not allowed to eat during that time.

The train to my hometown (I only come to the capital on weekends for the architecture) leaves at 6 and I won't eat until then. The trip takes 4 hours, during which I don't be having anything but coffee (I never eat on the train anyways). I'll get home at 10 and tell my parents it's too late to eat anyway! If it goes well, I'll try this out weekly and maybe evolve to more fast days.

Tomorrow I'll be on Proed from 3 to 6 in order to resist temptation, so I'll maybe see you then :D much love!

(Rant) Even if I did everything within my power to have the perfect body, I would still be disgustingly ugly
/u/acadavia [5'3| 96.2 | 17.4| F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 12:34:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43fjhf/rant_even_if_i_did_everything_within_my_power_to/
---
My face would still be too ugly for me to go out in public. And even if I liked my face, my boobs would still be too saggy for me to have sex with somebody. And even if I liked my face and my boobs, my hair would be too thin and brittle. And even if I looked perfect in every way, I would still be stupid and self-centered. And ironically, the more weight I lose, the more all of those problems are exacerbated; the sharp angles of my face are accentuated, my boobs are deflating like balloons, I'll probably start to lose some hair soon like I did last time, and I have even less to talk about then usual because all I've been doing lately is thinking about food and my body. But weight loss is the only thing in my life to feel good about, and hunger makes me feel less anxious, and the rest of my body looks so unacceptable that it's just not an option to stay where I'm at. It's a catch-22 and I'm so frustrated. I don't need to be perfect or model-esque, I just wish that I could be average and unremarkable.

[Discussion] Thankful for all of you! <3
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 130 | 18.85 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 12:08:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ff6t/thankful_for_all_of_you_3/
---
I just want to say I am so thankful to have this community of people in my life. It is so nice to have people that just understand what I'm going through and the way my mind works without trying to change me. Cheers to all of you! You guys are what keeps me sane <3

[Goal] The thread for accomplishments this week
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |101.2|17.3|-15 since joining|GW 95| F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 10:52:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43f2rn/the_thread_for_accomplishments_this_week/
---
This is just a thread to share what went well this week. On target for your UGW? Reduced binge/purge frequency? Let's share. So many times it can feel like we aren't making progress....so let's remember the small things.


Mine this morning was that I reached 103 lbs. It has been a while and I'm glad back on track. It makes the depression lift. A while back someone asked about our Feb 14th goal. Even though I'm single and there's nothing special about Valentine's day, I like having goals. My goal was 100-103 and I'm already there. I also have only b/p twice this week. Heck yeah.

[Discussion] Binge dreams?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 30 10:39:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43f0qw/binge_dreams/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 30, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 30 09:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43elwm/daily_food_diary_january_30_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 30, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant] finally i have achieved one form of perfection or have i?
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Sat Jan 30 08:44:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ejdm/finally_i_have_achieved_one_form_of_perfection_or/
---
so i weighed a few minutes ago before drinking or eating anything and i was 140.9 and i know theirs differences in the way the two bmi calculations work so according to the new bmi calc i'm underweight but according to the old one i'm officially underweight at 139.9 and i don't know what to think about this but either way i've met goal one be underweight or i'm hella close to it and that's great all in all i'm conflicted.

[Help] Anyone here start from obese and lose a ton of weight? Tell us your story!
/u/reductress
Created: Sat Jan 30 08:20:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43eg31/anyone_here_start_from_obese_and_lose_a_ton_of/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Nela Zisser, Miss New Zealand 2013, competitive eater
/u/DisorderAlt
Created: Sat Jan 30 05:59:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43dz9b/nela_zisser_miss_new_zealand_2013_competitive/
---
[Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqOu2T0PJMs) she eats what has to be at least 4kg of food. She has to be a puker, doesn't she? There's no way she can fit that much food into her stomach and still be [that](https://www.instagram.com/p/-K89KpHtub/) skinny without purging. I can't be just my ED radar that's off the charts.

[Tip] My new favourite low calorie breakfast/dessert
/u/wannabeamermaid [5'3 | 112 | 20.4 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 30 04:03:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43dof0/my_new_favourite_low_calorie_breakfastdessert/
---
I have been having this delicious meal for breakfast and sometimes dessert the past few days. It's filling and about 50-60 calories. Chop half an apple into lil cube-ish pieces, throw them in a bowl, add about a tablespoon of soya milk (or whatever milk you drink), sprinkle some cinnamon on top, and microwave it on low for about a minute. So good! It's warm and satisfying. Sometimes I add a couple pinches of oats on top for some more texture. I love it :)

[Discussion] Thank you guys!
/u/Idkanymorethrow
Created: Sat Jan 30 01:53:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ddry/thank_you_guys/
---
I found this sub yesterday by posting in confessions, and even though I've only been here a day, I feel like you guys have already helped me. I feel so much less alone. I've never really had anyone to talk to about my eating disorder that understands. So thank you guys <3

[Rant] I just need to rant for a moment
/u/heids7 [5'7 | 100lbs | 15.6 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 21:42:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43comm/i_just_need_to_rant_for_a_moment/
---
I'm so fucking disgusted with myself. I am quite possibly the biggest failurexic on the face of the planet. I see so many posts about breaking a 2 or 3-week plateau; I would give ANYTHING to have a plateau last only 3 weeks. I have been within the same three-pound range for a year and a half. EIGHTEEN FUCKING MONTHS. I need to eat less, but I work and go to school. My job is very active so I resentfully *have* to eat something.

I'm not thin enough to be anorexic. I don't deserve the diagnosis. I must have some fucking small bones because there's no other explanation for someone being my height at my weight looking like a goddamn whale. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but honestly. I'm not so delusional that I don't rationally know that my weight is low for someone my height. However, I would expect someone with my weight and height to look far bonier than I do. My thighs are literally out of control. My upper arms are a fucking joke. I'm so sick of myself but I don't know what else to do. I'm 28 years old. Ive been anorexic since age 12, diagnosed at 15. I honestly don't know who I am without this disorder; and yet the three most difficult words for me to say are "I have anorexia". Because I feel like no one would believe me. All I've ever wanted is for people to see me and just *know*...."oh my god, she must be anorexic"

But no. I still just look like I'm naturally slim. Fucking bullshit. I haven't lost any weight in months. I'm pathetic. If I were good enough, I would have lost weight by now. This disorder is so engrained in me and has become such an identity to me, but lately I just feel like a fucking fraud. There was such a calming comfort when I felt like shit in all other aspects of my life but I could say "at least I'm losing weight; at least I'm getting smaller".

Now I don't even have that. I just want that back. I can handle all the other bullshit as long as my weight is going down. But not this idle, stagnant, limbo. I can't do it.

Edit- typos

[Discussion] Where I've been and why I haven't been active.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 29 21:13:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43cl3r/where_ive_been_and_why_i_havent_been_active/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Just found this on r/sugarfree and felt like some of you would relate to it like I did
/u/numbasafossiliam [5'4 | 120 | 21 | -5 | F, 23]
Created: Fri Jan 29 20:52:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43cikf/just_found_this_on_rsugarfree_and_felt_like_some/
---
I was just reading a post over on /r/loseit about sugar cravings, and there were so many bits of wisdom there and people sharing their experiences with overcoming sugar cravings, that I thought Iā€™d compile some of them here. Thanks to the authors - your advice or your shared experience would be welcome here anytime.

**The original post was by /u/sweadle , who wrote:**

ā€œ[ā€¦] I realized I didn't want a sweet fix, I wanted a sugar binge. And if I couldn't have one, I would rather just eat something else as a snack. It reminded me of why an alcoholic can't just have "one drink" because they don't want one drink, they want ten. I don't want sugar, I want a sugar binge. And eating something small that's sweet doesn't help at all."

**On recognizing what you really want, by /u/_unbreakable_ :**

ā€œ[ā€¦] when I get a sugar craving, I try to recognize the fact that my brain is seeking serotonin (it's used to getting it in sugar high form) so I try to do something positive that makes me feel good, like going for a walk or watching a comedy. If I really need to consume something, I go for a tea or piece of fruit. But basically I only get those sugar cravings when I'm bored or sad about something and my brain is telling me to do something to cheer up."

**On planned treats rather than binges, by /u/lovechip :**

ā€œ[ā€¦] I've just started trying something new that I saw in a TedX talk the other day. The speaker there reiterates that deprivation won't work long term and will exacerbate rumination, 'pizza pizza pizza pizza... etc' turning it into a battleground based on willpower which most of us know is a load of crap to rely on long term. So she suggests, instead of denial, saying, 'yes you can have pizza, you can have it tomorrow and get the tastiest pizza that you're really going to enjoy' then the next day you have it if you're still bothered and sit down properly and savour it. [ā€¦] Instead of feeling like a mad binge it felt like a proper treat and something actually nourishing, psychologically because it wasn't just the classic old battle of wills fraught with stress and guilt and a sort of manic impulsiveness and excitement."
A [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWfqBy4sSD8) to this TED Talk.

**On an alternative to ice cream, by /u/kinkakuji :**

"I have been able to fend off my sugar cravings by making frozen banana "ice cream." I am a sweets/ice cream/chocolate maniac, but since I have started eating the frozen bananas, I have been able to completely stop eating and desiring other types of sweets. Even though it's just fruit, it is totally glorious and tastes almost exactly like frozen soft serve."

A [link](http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-creamy-ice-cream-with-just-one-ingredient-cooking-lessons-from-the-kitchn-93414) to a banana soft serve recipe.

**On moderation and addiction, by /u/yellowpotion :**

ā€œModeration usually doesn't work for cravings because like you said, I don't want to have food in moderation in that moment. If I want to have an entire cake, having no cake at all or eating one piece of it makes me feel exactly the same: I still have the cravings because only a binge will give me the instant gratification that I so desperately seek in that moment. The only thing that really works in the long run is addressing the cravings by not giving into them at all.
It's like moderation would theoretically work if I stuck with it in the same way I stick with cutting sugar out completely. But I don't see any reason why I should eat something in moderation just for the sake of it when a) it usually only creates more momentum for a binge and b) it doesn't make me feel any different than having no sugar at all.

I feel like the mindset of having something in moderation is different than the mindset I need in order to fight my addiction. When I think about moderation, I picture myself sitting down with a small portion of sweets and eating them mindfully and slowly because I simply like the taste of the sugary food. But whenever I have sugar cravings I don't actually like the taste of the sugary food, I just use it for a fix because my brain and body are used to it.

I feel like when most people talk about moderation they also refer to a different mindset than one influenced by addiction. I would still have the same struggles after one piece of cake and would find it difficult to just move on. So in a way I need to address the problem in a different way anyway, regardless of whether I had one piece or not... so ultimately it isn't actually moderation that fixes the problem. "

[Rant] Can I rant and introduce myself?
/u/NindeNehima [5'2" | 107 | 20.1 | n/a | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 20:49:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ci5o/can_i_rant_and_introduce_myself/
---
I've been struggling for a while now and I have literally no one to talk to about this. My boyfriend is threatening to end things if I don't seek help, and I'm not even that bad at the moment. So a little bit about myself. A few years ago I was 92 pounds, and I desperately want to get back there or below if possible. I just graduated from university and got a job in my field and I love it, but it has been adding so much stress. I can't go to the gym as much, I want to stop for food going from clients home's to the office. I need to lose weight, I need to at least get below 100 or else I'm going to go crazy. No one understands how repulsed I am when I look in the mirror, why I sleep or exercise to avoid eating meals. I also love to cook and bake, but now I live alone and have no one to feed so I literally end up throwing away everything I make just to avoid eating it myself. I just want to find someone to talk to who doesn't think I'm crazy, someone who understands that I just want to feel comfortable in my body and I can't help that my mind makes me feel this way. I know I should seek help, but at the moment I am not there yet and I really need a community like this to keep me from going over the edge. Thank you to anyone who reads this.

[Thinspo] Flat tummies
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 29 19:56:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43cbhv/flat_tummies/
---
http://imgur.com/a/gmxt1

[Discussion] This song resonated with me because of the middle. ā€Weights in your pockets when you visit the doctors". Hope this is allowed.
/u/my_yellow_bird [5'4ā€ | 197.4 | 34.55 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 19:01:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43c4b7/this_song_resonated_with_me_because_of_the_middle/
---
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VdwaWp59qz8

One week of Primatene
/u/problematicbeing [5'3' | 103.6 lbs| 18.86 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 18:54:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43c3gt/one_week_of_primatene/
---
Hey guys! Long term lurker over here, basically I've been in recovery for the last two years but have been fighting anorexia for about 5 years. The whole recovery thing hasn't been working out great lately so I'm here with yall.


Anyways, I worked up the guts to go to the pharmacist and ask for primatene(Social anxiety sucks, plus I wasn't sure if Ephederine was legal in Illinois). I've been taking it for the last week and it moved my intake from 2000kcal a day to about 300-600. I still feel hungry but less often and it's more of a dull ache.


I finally caved and bought a scale today and I'm 103.6! Which I was guessing I was closer to 106 which is what i weighed a few weeks ago. I was able to drop about 2.5lbs in less than a week, and I feel good about that but horrible about everything else.


What dosage of primatene do you take, if you do?

[Discussion] What's wrong with diet soda?
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Fri Jan 29 18:36:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43c0vq/whats_wrong_with_diet_soda/
---
Allegedly 0 calories and nothing but a few milligrams of sodium. I feel like there has to be something that makes it bad for me...

[Rant] Purging SUCKS (warning: pretty long rant)
/u/lightandempty [5'2.75" | 109.8lbs | 20.19 | -15.2 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 18:23:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43byzd/purging_sucks_warning_pretty_long_rant/
---
My eyes are so watery and hurt everytime I look at something even remotely bright. I can't concentrate on anything. I'm so dizzy and confused and dazed, it's like I'm drunk out of my mind. I could barely drive earlier. My head hurts so bad, and so does my heart. It's like this crazy burning in my chest. Earlier during school my thumb started randomly hurting like hell and I could feel my erratic heartbeat through my thumb, going 100 bpm at a resting heart rate.......

I'm constantly exhausted. I keep actually falling asleep in class, not just those "haha I dozed off for a second and I missed the question" moments but actually falling into a reasonably deep sleep and waking up dazed, confused, and more tired. I don't understand anything in school, I keep mixing up days and names and events and I can't even remember what I did this morning, at all. My fingers are shaking. My entire body hurts.

My throat is *raw*. It hurts to speak and when I do speak I sound like a chain smoker, or Darth Vader, or a chain-smoking Darth Vader. I constantly have to cough even though it hurts, and everytime I sneeze a new wave of painful irritation attacks my throat. My nose is drippy and my face is breaking out everywhere. My teeth are genuinely sore, and I think I'm developing an ulcer in my mouth. My teeth feel soft and gross yet I can't brush them most of the time because I've just purged and brushing will irritate them more. My cheeks and under-eyes are red, and I have so many eye bags and my face looks so terrible I look like those grizzled veterans in manly survival movies who haven't slept for days.

My stomach constantly hurts, and so does everything else. I tried to go for a run earlier but I felt so awful I had to stop. I couldn't even do one mile, my vision was going and my heart was beating so fast and my stomach hurt so bad, because I pretty much took a sack full of tossed up stomach acid and tossed it up even worse. Every breath I took hurt my throat even more.

I've purged 6 times in the past 5 days, and I've done more frequently but it's finally catching up to me. I know people that do it even more frequently. I read *Wasted* by Marya Hornbacher about her experiences with anorexia and bulimia, and in it she says for years she threw up every single thing she ate. She was binging and purging at least3 times per day, and purging regular meals as well. How?? I've been at this for not even 3 months and I already feel like I'm going to die soon.

Am I going to stop? Of course not. It's all I think about: when can I b/p next? I feel like I don't even have a choice........

[Discussion] Extremely sleepy/weak after eating?
/u/YouMayRememberMe [5'5 | 104 lbs | 16.74 | 18F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 18:01:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43bvsp/extremely_sleepyweak_after_eating/
---
The people in my life really want me to gain weight, but any time I eat I lose all my energy, productivity and it's hard to even think or stay awake for several hours. Does anyone else get this?

[Rant] That feeling when...
/u/thininsp
Created: Fri Jan 29 17:23:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43bqcx/that_feeling_when/
---
you strategized your calories and exercise all day so you could eat a specific thing in the fridge, only to find that someone ate it before you got home.

I literally just cried over 4 day old leftover chicken. /sigh

[Help] Looking at doing a ECA stack- experiences?
/u/lessismoreofme [5'3 | 146lbs | 26.58 | -44lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 17:15:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43bp70/looking_at_doing_a_eca_stack_experiences/
---
I have to put my own together, so I would love feedback on dosage for maximum effectiveness.

What doses have you taken it at? What's worked best for you? I'm thinking 25mg of the ephedrine, 200mg of the caffeine and have no idea with the aspirin- what does the aspirin do, anyways? Is it worth taking? Various sites I've found argue about it, whether or not the aspirin is worth taking.

[Help] How am I gonna shift this weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 29 15:52:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43bcg1/how_am_i_gonna_shift_this_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Intermittent Fasting?
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 155 | 24.2 | -30 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 14:25:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43ay8o/intermittent_fasting/
---
Do you guys find it easier to meet your calorie goal each day by eating small meals throughout the day or having like one big meal? I've found that if I eat breakfast or lunch I'm continuously hungry throughout the day. I guess my metabolism starts going and makes me want more food? But if I wait til like 4 or 5 pm and eat, I'm fine the rest of the night.

[Help] Drinking a lot and still feeling dehydrated?
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 12:20:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43aczj/drinking_a_lot_and_still_feeling_dehydrated/
---
I usually drink about 75 ounces of water (plenty based on [this site](http://www.camelbak.com/en/HydratED/HydrationCalculator.aspx)) but... I still feel thirsty all the time: dry mouth, dry throat, chapped lips... Am I doing something wrong? I will say I usually drink my water as crystal light, I've found it's the only way I keep drinking.... Is that affecting something? Thanks!

[Discussion] Transitioning from jeans to leggings...but I don't know what to wear with them. Help me, my leggings-wearing friends!
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 183.8 | 29.67 | -36.2 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 12:03:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43a9vq/transitioning_from_jeans_to_leggingsbut_i_dont/
---
I know we've had this topic before but I can't find it for the life of me, so what do you guys wear over your leggings? My jeans are too big now and I don't want to keep buying pants every 3 months so I'm thinking of going the leggings route. But what do I wear on top for each season? It's gotta cover my crotch because I hate seeing my crotch in leggings. Any help would be appreciated! ā™„

[Tip] So I'm sure y'all have seen this, but just wanted to make sure you had.... Mine's coming in the mail Tuesday! (Herballife Weightloss)
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 11:21:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43a266/so_im_sure_yall_have_seen_this_but_just_wanted_to/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKY-jPKkY2g

[Help] Transitioning to "high-intake" restricting
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 29 11:15:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43a16m/transitioning_to_highintake_restricting/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Friday fast!
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 156lbs | 24 | - 24 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 09:05:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/439eme/friday_fast/
---
It's that day again. I really need today to clear my stress and stomach. I over ate Tues and Wednesday then fully binged yesterday. I feel sick and gross and out of control.

I need my Friday fast to reset and reclaim myself from my other self.

What are your reasons for joining me today?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 29 09:02:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/439e3v/daily_food_diary_january_29_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 29, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant] My relationship with food is damaged and I've run out of emotions. (very long rant)
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 117.5 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 08:55:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/439d1p/my_relationship_with_food_is_damaged_and_ive_run/
---
A fair warning to anyone who needs it: this post is long and rambling and I talk about food a lot.

I don't know if any of you can look back and pin point where your own issues start or stop. I can remember having trouble keeping my daily intake under 1200 calories back when I first discovered MFP. I've never been traditionally overweight but I've been heavier than I wanted.

For me it was when I got my wisdom teeth out. I had a lot of issues with the healing and my drugs made me nauseous so there was a two week period where I wasn't eating much at all, maybe a smoothie here or there when I could stomach it.

And something happened in that time that changed something in me. I lost weight. For the first time in literal years I was *losing* instead of *gaining*. And I felt like shit. But the weight was leaving and I was happy.

So I kept up the eating habits. For weeks now I've not had a single day over 600 calories. And the worst part is how proud of myself I am. So satisfied that for once in my life I am not turning to food for comfort.

My mom is an emotional eater. It's not her fault, it's her upbringing. But she raised me and my sister the same way.

Boyfriend breaks up with you? Let's make brownies, we'll eat them warm with ice cream.

Anxiety attack at school? I'll make you a grilled cheese.

Didn't do well on your final exams? Let's eat some cookie dough, it'll be okay.

My favorite meal as a kid was homemade fettuccine and Alfredo sauce, made from grated Parmesan, Romano, Asiago, and heavy cream.

So for me, emotional pain was numbed by food. I've always been horribly riddled with anxiety, but a few months after leaving home the depression hit. And I ate, and ate, and ate. I just reinforced all those bad habits.

Freshman 15? More like Freshman 40.

So here I am, sitting on my couch shaking because I haven't gone over 600 calories in over four weeks and my body physically cannot keep up. I'm weak, and tired, my muscles are always sore because they can't recover from the workouts I put them through. But worst of all is I'm just...numb. I feel nothing.

The happy feeling from losing weight is gone. I see the red warning on MFP about not eating enough and instead of feeling the sick sense of accomplishment I used to I just sigh and turn it off. I weigh myself twice daily but I never write it down because I've stopped trusting my scale. My life revolves around planning out tiny meals that make it look like I'm eating to other people.

All I want to do is binge. I want an entire bag of Doritos and a carton of Ben & Jerry's and the biggest order of french fries I can find. But I won't. I know I won't, because this horrible feeling of being hungry and tired and empty means that I'm still losing weight. And if I'm losing I'm winning.

I just had a 560 calorie breakfast. Half a bun with peanut butter, half an apple, and a bowl of cereal with soy milk. And I'm sitting here wondering if that's all I'm going to eat today, or if I'm going to go over. I know reasonably if I stay under 1200 I'm fine.

Fuck. I'm fine if I go over that too, frankly.

But I *won't*. I'll sit here and complain to my empty apartment that I'm hungry and tired but I won't eat because I'm addicted to feeling like shit.

I'm just upset today. I thought a huge breakfast would make me feel better and help me feel less tired but all it did was make me feel guilty.

[Discussion] Portable Food Scales
/u/quona [5'4.5" | 129.6 | 22.24 | -40.4| F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 08:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4394pk/portable_food_scales/
---
Do any of you use portable food scales to weigh your food when you're out in public? I bought [this one](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IZ1YHZK/ref=ya_st_dp_summary) from Amazon yesterday, and I'm wondering how to use it so I don't look completely nuts. For example, we go to hockey games every weekend during the season. None of that food in the arena is calorie counted or offers nutritional information at all, unless I get boxed candy (ugh). I like to eat during the game because it makes me look kinda normal, and I typically get something super plain like a hot dog and skip eating for a day in advance of the game just in case, but not knowing the calories is anxiety inducing hardcore. I feel like this could be helpful in other public eating situations too (like, casual ones, cafes or food stands, not fancy dining -- I'm not going to bust out a food scale and spoon things from my plate to the scale in a seated restaurant! That seems rude.)

Any ideas? Just suck it up and be that crazy lady that weighs her hot dog at the hockey game? Is this a completely insane idea?

[Help] CW details :( purging eye spots
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 118 ; 18.5 | GW 111 ; 17.4 | f]
Created: Fri Jan 29 06:20:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/438r1q/cw_details_purging_eye_spots/
---
Sooo last night my anxiety finally came to a head, which has otherwise been at bay since the new year. I havent purged since christmas. Yesterday, I finally busted my plateau and I was so amazed I had finally reached 115 lbs (!) But then my asshole housemates (who hate me.. and idk why because in pretty cool 8-) ) went out without me. They knew that I was home and they wanted to exclude me (actually. Theyre assholes and im not living here next year)
Stressing out, I ate everything I've been diligently avoiding, when I should have been studying. I felt so disconnected, like I didn't exist and I was just an empty void to be filled with goddamn condiments on a spoon... I couldn't let myself digest all of it (I estimate I retained 300 calories max anyway but..) so I purged. It was so gross but so necessary to me - for the first time I didn't give A FUCK about being ladylike (lol) about it, I purged until I had to lie with my head on the seat (albeit) that was covered in paper. I'm pretty sure I purged peanut butter which is impossible. I needed to be empty again so much that my efforts made my throat bleed and I have a lovely collection of burst capillaries around my eyes This is my problem because everyone sort of knows whats up with these spots, and I don't even want to go to class but I have absolutely no excuse. I could have done a good old OCD workout while they were gone, but instead I binges their gross fat filled pesto and cheese. I'm vegan... what the fuck happened ????

I have to go to a bday party tonight too... I look haunted :( any tips for making these red angry spotty bad boys lessen in appearance? Anyone used excuses other than Im Sick as Fuck ? I have expensive concealer but I would rather them disappear in the next 12 hours before my friends who actually care about me notice and ask questions

Sorry I've been posting and contributing to an extent that I think is too much. Lowkey I've been spazzing all week about getting under 115 from before the holidays. 111 here I come, hopefully :) :(

Edit - mobile no flair

[Thinspo] Amazing inspo popped up from /r/bustypetite, hope this is ok to post [NSFW]
/u/diamond_sourpatchkid [5'2" | 130 | 24.6 | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 05:36:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/438m7r/amazing_inspo_popped_up_from_rbustypetite_hope/
---
https://49.media.tumblr.com/79671833f8bb7fd7adcf662cfc0ad1ca/tumblr_o0pckeownU1u3yq93o1_500.gif

[Discussion] Instead of food I bought cigarettes and a battery for my scale.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5| 105,4 | 17.75 | 9,2 F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 05:05:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/438ixw/instead_of_food_i_bought_cigarettes_and_a_battery/
---
I'm not sure what to think about my behaviour lately. I've spent most of my money on food that I've binged and purged, and today I had about 15 euros until next Tuesday. I don't have that much food at home, but I was out of cigarettes..I thought I could try to cut down on smoking for a couple of days and buy just one pack - but then I thought, do I want to eat or smoke?

And the battery of my scale died today. I tried to reason with myself that I could buy new battery on Tuesday, but then - can I really live until Tuesday without knowing my weight? No, not really.

On the other hand, I can't binge for the next few days as I don't have that much food here so it's kind of good thing. But on the other hand I don't feel that smart right now.

What not-smart have you done because of your ED?

edit:tell me if I post too much, I feel like I hang out here all the time.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! January 29, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 29 05:02:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/438io6/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_january_29/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for January 29, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if he/she is banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] I just pulled an all nighter because I couldn't sleep. I was too hungry.
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 29 04:12:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/438dwh/i_just_pulled_an_all_nighter_because_i_couldnt/
---
Anyone have a solution to this? I took a Benadryl, have tried NyQuil in the past, but mostly my stomach and my head really bother me too much to sleep :(

[Discussion] I know I can't be the only one who does this
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 126lbs | BMI 19.67 | Weight Lost: 19.5lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Jan 29 00:23:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/437tgs/i_know_i_cant_be_the_only_one_who_does_this/
---
Anyone feel like they have to assure people they're fine and not to get invasive by saying things like,

"Oh I'm eating a big meal later!"

"No thanks, I've got some chocolate at home." etc.

And then a second later immediately regret it and want to assure them you aren't really going to eat a big meal or chocolate because you feel like a greedy pig for saying it and worry they're going to judge you for eating?

Edit because it doesn't need its own post- Goal day! Finally got under 130lbs!

[Help] Sugar Cravings?
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Thu Jan 28 23:35:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/437o7x/sugar_cravings/
---
The past few days have been massively stressful, and that's when I want sugar most. I'm close to my calorie limit (80 calories remaining, with a few hours left in the day). What can I do to stave off the craving?

For reference, I've already walked/hiked for 5 hours today (to stop myself from eating and to clear my mind) and I've already downed two cups of green tea. I was considering rice cakes, but those are empty calories... my craving is distracting me from work, but work isn't critical at the moment. Is there anything that could help me besides pure force of will?

[Thinspo] Thinspo for the coming weekend.
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Thu Jan 28 23:23:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/437ms8/thinspo_for_the_coming_weekend/
---
http://imgur.com/a/U4Ve8

[Discussion] Binging when depressed, restricting when happy. Anyone else?
/u/__andrei__
Created: Thu Jan 28 23:19:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/437mes/binging_when_depressed_restricting_when_happy/
---
I think this is the last bizarre pattern. I think I'm going through slow cycles, and a I had a great few months of progress in the last few months, but now I'm depressed again and I already gained over ten pounds. I guess I just need to wait this one out. Does anyone else go through the same patterns?

[Help] i really want to binge, help
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Thu Jan 28 22:54:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/437jbc/i_really_want_to_binge_help/
---
urgh been binge free for 24 days and rn i just want to eat. I went out to dinner and got a salad dressing on the side and only ate half the avo but there was salami in it and i ate one peice and now i cant stop obsessing over it// want to eat everythig in my house help need distractions

[Rant] I hate being so depressed...
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 120.4 lbs | 22 | -11.2 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 22:42:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/437hwy/i_hate_being_so_depressed/
---
i've written on here before about how it's a benefit to me because i'm completely not interested in food or eating when i'm depressed but boy do i just really hate myself right now. i've seen my ex somewhat often over these past 2 weeks that we've been broken up and tonight we hugged for the first time since. like, a really long, tight hug. i missed that. i can go on with a pitiful story about how i miss him but i'd sound ridiculous so who cares.

but the more time passes, the more i hate myself. i really am starting to feel like i have no desire to live. maybe i don't want to stop at an ultimate goal weight. maybe i just want to keep going until i succumb to it. i feel so pathetic for talking like this but it's really how i'm starting to feel. oh well. at least i look happy on the outside so no one worries about me or suspects anything is wrong.

on the plus side i still have no desire to eat and i haven't had much time on this EC stack but so far, so good. but i've basically been on a plateau this past week which is a bit unnerving. i was 121.6 this morning. i'll feel much better with myself when i'm no longer in the 20's.

sorry for the rant it's just a tough time for me right now. i hope everyone is doing much much better than me, both emotionally and with your weight goals.

[Help] Bad Teeth?
/u/SquirrelLurk
Created: Thu Jan 28 22:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/437cjm/bad_teeth/
---
I feel like I have the worst teeth and I'm scared to go to the dentist because they can tell that I've been throwing up systematically.. I'm just so embarrassed, has anyone had to cope with this?

(To the mods; Im new here and Im not sure why you removed my other post but please don't remove this one, I'd really like to read peoples oppinion about this. Thanks<3)

Edit: any advice on dental care is highly appreciated!

[Discussion] exercising the awkwardness out of me
/u/lesoleiletlalune [5'4" | 130 | 22.75 | -30 | f]
Created: Thu Jan 28 20:33:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4370sc/exercising_the_awkwardness_out_of_me/
---
I have this thing where I feel like so much of what I say/do is awkward or negative in some way. sometimes I don't feel that way but other times I am so embarrassed by myself. when I talk to strangers or people I don't know well, I always think that they must have thought I was awkward, annoying, dumb, boring, know-it-all, pretentious, trying too hard, or just generally unenjoyable. when I have these interactions and I ask one of my good friends afterwards if I was incredibly awkward and terrible, they always think I'm crazy and tell me that I seemed totally chill and cool. so I'm not sure what the problem is...I just get this sense of dread and regret and self-loathing after these interactions...

but if I exercise, like really fucking work out, I feel so much less awkward afterwards. for at least a little while. I feel like I burn the awfulness out of me. I don't even feel as embarrassed about previous interactions.

like, today, I was interacting with these two people in my class, and I was cringing at myself so hard and hated myself so much when we parted ways. I was sure they must have thought I was annoying, too talkative, not talkative in the right way, know-it-all-y, awkward, etc. but then I did a really intense workout and I was like, "man, who cares?" they probably weren't really judging me that hard. they might have even liked me.

can anyone relate?

[Discussion] Intro, I think.
/u/hijainen_enkeli [5' 3" | 170 | 30.67 | -16 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 19:41:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/436tga/intro_i_think/
---
Hello. I'm a bit shy. I found this thread a couple days ago. I actually joined reddit just to join this, so I'm sorry if I have no idea what I'm doing. I finally got the nerve to say hi and stop lurking.
I have never gotten a diagnosis, but I have cycled between times of restriction and times of binging and purging. My family has never had a good relationship with food. I returned to restricting when I got to my highest weight of 196.
Uhm, I guess that's it. Once again, sorry if I don't really know what I'm doing on here.

[Rant] Oh my god. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
/u/ProEdThrowaway
Created: Thu Jan 28 19:21:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/436qh1/oh_my_god_fuck_fuck_fuck_fuck/
---
I have binged everyday for the past 5 god damned days. I've bloated and gained so much water weight. Im hanging out with this girl tomorrow night and don't wanna be a bloated fuck. Will fasting all day tomorrow make me lose all/most of this fucking bloat? I need to get back on track, and just needed to tell people that would understand. God, I'm disgusted with myself. I was doing so good 15 or so days ago too.

[Discussion] Sometimes I feel not disordered enough
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 19:13:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/436pa3/sometimes_i_feel_not_disordered_enough/
---
Anyone else feel this way? Feeling like your ED isn't real one day and feeling very validated the next?

And then there are days like today when I overestimate every item I have eaten by 20 cals, and triple count a granola bar from the farmers market "just in case". I also beat myself up over 10 cals of sauerkraut.....

YEP IM DEF DISORDERED ALRIGHT.

[Discussion] Thin people from my life
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | CW 71.5kg | UGW 52kg | -2.5kg | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 19:01:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/436ngz/thin_people_from_my_life/
---
My 10th grade English teacher, who was 40 but had the body of a 20 year old. A body that never held a child. She was so elegant, tall, unlike most of the other teachers her age. Blouses tucked into pencil skirts, fragile long hair. Unconventionally pretty, but so admirable in my eyes.

The tiny girl in my English class last year, with whom I shared a mutual friend. Lilac hair that turned white, and then brown. Pencil limbs, green cardigans, warm brown eyes. We both suffered from bad anxiety, her more so than me, I think.

My exchange student. Spending day after day in her room, only coming out for dinner, with meds by her bed. 55 kg on the exchange form, we shared the same height. 3 sizes smaller than me. Winter coats, Garamond glasses, and brogues.

My brother. 6 years older than me, an adult male. Only tipping the scale at 60 kilograms. It must have been more than 6 years ago, but the memories of mocking are still there. *If you're so much younger than me, why do we share the same clothing size?* Size small v-necks and chocolate almonds bought as Christmas presents.

[Discussion] Just went temporarily blind at the gym.
/u/sincereenfuego [5'9" | 135 | 20.2 | ? | M]
Created: Thu Jan 28 18:23:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/436i12/just_went_temporarily_blind_at_the_gym/
---
I have been fasting for 2 days as of now. I had a training session at the gym today and after one of the cardiovascular exercise (about 40 mins into the session) I got light headed. My trainer told me to go get some fresh air so I left the enclosed exercise room and entered the weight lifting area on the second floor of the gym. The locker room is on the first floor.

Anyways, as I'm walking, I get even more light headed and everything goes white. All the loud noises started to sound really muffled. I processed to try and find my way to the locker room and now here I am. Sitting on a toilet. Too scared to go back out to the gym in fear of fainting.

I love the way this life style makes my body look but sometimes it really scares the crap out of me.

Sorry for the wall of text.

Has this or anything similar happened to anyone else?

[Rant] I'm disgusted with myself.
/u/skinnystupid [5'2 | 114.6 | 21 | 30.4lbs lost | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 17:44:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/436c2v/im_disgusted_with_myself/
---
So, I've been consistently losing weight but still eating shit that's terrible for me. I'll often go all day without eating and then have my one meal be some kind of fast food. I knew it was getting way worse this month, so I checked to see how much I had spent on "convenience" food. TWO HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS THIS MONTH. I have got to stop doing this, it's even embarrassing for me to post about, because losing weight should feel better than this, but it doesn't because I know I'm still eating junk. Time to make some changes. *sigh* :(

[Goal] Finally broke my plateau!
/u/charlottevp [5'3''|134.8|-24.2lbs|F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 17:33:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/436aib/finally_broke_my_plateau/
---
I've been fluctuating between 139-142 for a month or so now, but I'm back on track now with my diet and exercise and I can't wait to lose more!!! I just wanted to share this with you guys because it's been infuriating to me for the past month and I've finally kicked it - to anyone here who is struggling with the same thing, there is definitely hope!

[Discussion] Craving Food I Hate
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 16:22:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/435z8w/craving_food_i_hate/
---
When I'm in a heavy restrict cycle, I start craving things I think are disgusting. Like I pass by a McDonald's every day after work and it smells terrible and like old grease, and I crave their fries anyway. Even though any time I gave in and bought some, I think they're nasty. I get this all the time with various foods I think are rank and I just don't understand it. Anyone else?

[Discussion] A co worker has had this box in the closet for weeks. Every time I see it, I laugh.
/u/Sheffieldj [5'4'' | 119 lbs | 20.83 | -37 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 16:06:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/435wl3/a_co_worker_has_had_this_box_in_the_closet_for/
---
http://imgur.com/70w7zi2

[Discussion] Walden farms suggestions?
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 14:33:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/435haa/walden_farms_suggestions/
---
Long story short, I went to the store and bought about five different things by Walden Farms, the "calorie free" (no, I know they're not *really* calorie free, I am accounting for them. Wouldn't it be amazing if there really was a completely calorie free food that isn't just ice? [/starry eyed dreaming] ) brand.

I usually cave and look at online reviews to find out if something is worth the money before I buy it but I've been walking by this brand for a long time now and thinking "man, I NEED to know!" so I went a little overboard. I've discovered that their peanut butter spread makes me gag (lol) so I ended up just throwing that away. Their jelly (which is pretty apt given that it seems like slightly thicker jello) is alright but I think I'd rather stick to the sugar free smucker's with truvia in the future. I like their caramel dip the best and use it on my apples.

So I guess my question is, for those of you that have tried this brand, what is worth the buy and what should I be skipping in the future? I currently use Skinny Girl Raspberry Vinaigrette for my go to dressing, but I know WF has a few, are they any good? Is their syrup passable? Is the chocolate dip edible? XD Flood me with suggestions and warnings!

[Help] Admitted bulimia to therapist. So confused.
/u/Itsemurha [5'9 | 77kg | 24.86 | -43kg | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 14:12:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/435dg4/admitted_bulimia_to_therapist_so_confused/
---
I keep flipping between not wanting to get better because I'm still so huge and then panicking because my teeth are getting fucked up and my heart rate has been very low for months now and I know its already damaged.. I'm so tired of my throat being raw/hard to swallow and the near constant headaches. I know I can have better control over everything but I am slowly realising maybe I don't(?) Keep saying it's just a bad spell but it's been months... I don't know guys. I've lost 80 pounds this way. I feel like it's the only way I can keep going and stopping is so terrifying. I'm a mixed bag of emotions right now. Wish I had just kept my mouth shut :(

[Help] Seeking input from my fellow ladies. Possible tmi.
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 13:28:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43561j/seeking_input_from_my_fellow_ladies_possible_tmi/
---
I went elsewhere with my confusion first, but Lord no one knows what I'm talking about. So I came here hoping you girls know more than I do. Possible tmi as it has to do with lady bits and periods. But c'mon we all have em.

So my first question is pretty simple: What is that lump like thing at the entrance of vaginas? Like when inserting a finger or tampon, at the very entrance, I have to get past a mass that feels sort of like a cherry. What is it called? No one seems to have a clue what I'm talking about so is it even normal?

The reason I ask is because it's been there for as long as I can remember but I've had issues with my period lately and sex and went to check things out and it feels bigger and harder than usual. The entrance is tighter and uncomfortable. I had to stop mid intercourse because it was uncomfortable for me.

My period also started about four days ago but it has been dark brown and thin the entire time. It also only really expels when I go to pee and strain a bit. Usually my period is bright to dark red and thick.

Any insight on this? I looked into Bartholin cyst as someone suggested but those seem to be on the left and right of the vaginal wall and what I'm talking about is at the top of the entrance instead.

Sorry I may sound so dumb but we don't have sex ed here and I only have one vagina so nothing to compare to lol.

[Discussion] Any other body/grooming obsessions?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 105.8 | 19.26 (new calculator) | -9.2 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 13:21:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4354t7/any_other_bodygrooming_obsessions/
---
What other weird beauty/appearance obsessions do you guys have other than weight/body fat? I'm really stressed about evenness of skin toneā€”I'm obsessed with sunscreen and wear full-length tights to run even in the summer because I can't stand tan lines on my legs. I also tweeze my bikini line and armpits rather than shave them because I feel like it's more accurate/thorough....ironically I'm super lazy about regular outside beauty stuff, makeup etc.

[Rant] I think my family wants me to get bad again?
/u/aaren0
Created: Thu Jan 28 12:31:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/434w49/i_think_my_family_wants_me_to_get_bad_again/
---
About 5 years ago I started restricting and lost a *lot* of weight. At my lowest I was ~90 pounds (about 15 pounds under the 'healthy' range, I think?) and I managed to maintain that for a couple years.

More recently, though, I've gained all of it back and more. I'm restricting and trying to reach that again - both for the sense of control and because being thin helps alleviate some of my gender-related anxiety, weird as that probably sounds (hard to not look feminine when you're overweight and have enormous hips lol) - so obviously I'm doing this for myself.

However, I suspect that the rest of my family also secretly wants me to be like that again. Maybe I should be thankful that they're not demanding I eat more or be 'healthy' or whatever, but it sucks knowing that people who are supposed to care about you would rather you be tired, cold, and constantly stressed about calories if it means that you'll take up less space. They don't like it when I talk too much or show any ugly emotions. I've learned to hide when I'm angry or depressed or sad (not that it doesn't sometimes boil over anyway). They'd rather I be a detached robot who continually denies themself and stays out of their way.

~~this prolly sounds cliche as all hell and I'm sorry I'll probably delete it like I do with half my posts anyways lol~~

[Help] My eyes are constantly out of focus
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Thu Jan 28 12:22:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/434uk1/my_eyes_are_constantly_out_of_focus/
---
Usually during the day, I'm more awake at night and can concentrate better but in the afternoon, I feel dead. I'm not physically tired, I just can't focus on anything. I can't think about anything, my memory is shit and I can't even bring my eyes into focus. Like I was trying to read a few minutes ago and I was just staring past the screen into nothingness, not thinking about anything. It feels like someone shut of my brain. Does anyone have this problem?

[Goal] [Goal] 66 day Sugar Free Challenge which starts on Monday (February 1st). Link to OP (r/nutrition) and Sign up link inside!
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 11:48:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/434ojb/goal_66_day_sugar_free_challenge_which_starts_on/
---
[Original post:](https://www.reddit.com/r/nutrition/comments/433app/for_those_interested_in_changing_their/)

> Hey folks,
I recently posted the sign-up post for a 66 day Sugar Free Challenge. Participants decide on a definition of "sugar free" that makes sense to them and we all get started on February 1st! For more info, visit the sign-up post [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/r/sugarfree/comments/42oxfx/challenge_this_is_the_official_sign_up_post_for/).

> I'm posting this in /r/nutrition because reducing added sugar is a near universally recognized positive change anyone can make to their diet and I want to get the word out before the start date of the challenge so many people as possible can benefit from my efforts.

[Discussion] Making love to your food
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Thu Jan 28 10:41:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/434cym/making_love_to_your_food/
---
I remember when I was rereading Wasted that there's a point where Marya describes watching another patient do obscene things with some yogurt on a spoon and when asked what they were doing they replied somewhere along the line of "I'm making love to it."

And it got me thinking about my two worst relapses. Both times I had friends while holding their multiple "interventions" tell me how I ate everything like it was my last meal, like it needed to last a long time, like I worshipped it. I first was super upset they had been paying so much attention to me when I ate and swore never to around others ever again, and then I realized that I was doing that because it was all I got for that 24 hour period.

I had conditioned myself so that this small (usually 400 cals or less by that point) was this very sacred time of day. I even started only eating after work (midnight or later) in the bathroom with the shower running to block out all other noise and people just so I could focus on my little ritual.

Do you guys do anything similar? Any particular rituals you HAVE to do?

[Help] scales acting up
/u/woollyshirt [171cm | nope | nope! |-10kg | M]
Created: Thu Jan 28 10:23:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4349vn/scales_acting_up/
---
i have digital scales. when i step on them (as of today) it gives me a number - lets say 4.4kg. however, when i step off and step back on, it gives me another number - 3. If I continue to step on and off, it continues to register as 3kg, but if i leave my scales for a while, it goes back to 4.5kg. these scales don't have a memory or individual function. is this normal?

i'm not even sure what my true weight is today. i was 4.5 yesterday, which is why the 4.4 threw me off, considering i hadn't eaten since, although i was quite dehydrated and so had some water. i do feel smaller than a few days ago and i've been eating <600/700cal for about 10 days straight now (and running every other day) so is losing 1.5kg in a day realistic, or has my body clung onto water that much? i'm so confused.

[Discussion] I'm introducing myself.
/u/x-ko [5'5" | 117.5 | 19.78 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 10:10:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4347p4/im_introducing_myself/
---
I finally made an account so I could participate in the daily diaries. I'm happy to have found a place where I won't be chastised for not eating much.

Here is a fun story for you in exchange for clicking on this: Yesterday my husband insisted on Johnny Rockets for dinner. I am a vegetarian.

Me: "I'll take the veggie burger, no onion please."

Waitress: "That doesn't have meat on it, is that okay?"

Me: "........yes."

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 28 09:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/433w1n/daily_food_diary_january_28_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 28, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant] Being the "ugly" friend.
/u/PippiLee97 [5'7"| 150lbs | 23.5 | -17lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 08:06:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/433nco/being_the_ugly_friend/
---
I'm a freshman at university and I have a pretty obvious group of girlfriends. Out of us four, I am the ugliest.

Now I don't consider my features ugly. I thought I was pretty cute in high school when I was 30lbs lighter. But being the heaviest in a group of very skinny girls isn't a good way to stand out....

They get all the guys, all the invitations to parties, and they can wear cute, tight clothing that I could never pull off.

What makes it worse though is how much one of my friends copies me. I can tell her an interesting story, or about a cool new anime on netflix and she acts like she couldn't care less. But if a guy comes around with those interest she'll spew all of the knowledge I gave her and get credit for it. If I start a story she'll make sure to shout over me so she gets all the attention for something that happened to ME. She has done this a billion times and I just can't bring myself to call her out on it because of my looks. Who cares what I have to say? I'm just the ugly, fat girl.


[Help] Tiny new lover
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 28 07:52:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/433lbc/tiny_new_lover/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Raw Vegetables
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Thu Jan 28 06:42:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/433bxx/raw_vegetables/
---
I stocked up on raw veg yesterday. I've found that eating mostly raw vegetables (or lightly steamed veg) and fruit helps me feel full and keeps my BMs regular as well as reducing bloating. The crunch and fiberousness (not a word I know) of veggies satisfies my love of chewing.

I'm not 100% raw vegan, though. I still use soy milk in my tea, and I occasionally eat egg whites. I also love cooked oatmeal and toast. I'm hoping to gradually switch over, though. I don't own a blender or food processor, though, and I don't have much money to stock up on things.

Does anyone eat raw vegan? Also, just a veggie love thread.

[Help] I am obsessed with food. Obsessed. I can't stop binging.
/u/assumngdirectcontrol [5' | 125lbs | 26 | -8lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 06:18:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/43390v/i_am_obsessed_with_food_obsessed_i_cant_stop/
---
Last night while I had sex with my boyfriend I was daydreaming about food.

I spend hours each day looking up new recipes I want to try.

I've never gone a whole day restricting. I keep trying, but I keep breaking.

I've reached 800C each day this week. I have PTSD and food is, of course, the only thing that's comforting...

I'll plan for 3-500 C for the day, PTSD stuff happens, and I'm eating again.

Food is my favorite thing in life. But I just want to be very small. I want to have control over my life.

I'm looking for support. anyone trying to restrict that's obsessed with food, too?

I want to go into culinary, but I think I'd be gigantic if I did it... I don't trust myself. I'm a dog.

I worked at a bakery for a year and gained 10 lbs from just nibbling. Compulsive nibbling. My coworkers would eat once in a while, but not like me. I'd start eyeing food down that I knew would be thrown out soon, waiting for that moment when I get to taste it. Anything. Even small pieces of stale bread. I find every single thing about food wonderful.

ugh, help me. My coworkers were even, ahem, bigger. but here I was, the small one that was the compulsive eater.

I bought bronkaid yesterday... hoping that'll help today.

**EDIT I'm too emotional to think of much to say to anyone. I feel like continuing to talk about myself is narcissistic or something. I just wanted to say, I read every single comment and this is one of the most supportive communities I've been a part of. You guys are the bes. the BES.**

[Discussion] This girl at school
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Thu Jan 28 06:06:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4337gk/this_girl_at_school/
---
So theres this girl at my school whos tall and thin and likes horses. Every. Single. Morning. When I go to this one bathroom to pee. Shes there in front of the mirror for 5 minutes minimum looking at herself from every angle. I saw her in class holding an apple, no one else noticed, but she was holding it up to her face with her eyes closed. She was smelling it and whispering to herself. Then she licked it a few times. Then she bit it one time and looked angry, and placed it on the table at arms length. Its crazy how obvious some things are if you know what youre looking at.

[Rant] I've been having a binge for 12 hours straight
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 06:06:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4337ge/ive_been_having_a_binge_for_12_hours_straight/
---
I wish I could just snap back to restricting like I did last summer. I restricted weeks without bingeing, and if I did it would be just a cheat meal and I'd feel guilty enough to stop. I feel like bingeing has become a habit, a comfort of some sort. I can restrict for 2 days tops and then wake up one day and feel the urge to eat and eat and eat. I feel no physical hunger, My body just craves the process of eating, snacking, chewing, the hand to mouth gesture etc. I eat until i can't physically have any more, regret it, cry, purge a bit, and continue. I do not want to be fat. I do not want to find comfort in food. I had so much plans today to work on my art, clean up the house, and i couldn't because I was too busy bingeing. Bingeing for 12 hours. I am utterly disgusted by what I have become. In a few months I will probably be overweight if I continue with this tempo. But not even that can stop me from bingeing. I desperately need help. I can't do this for long. I know how to stop bingeing, but I can't seem to. I am just so tired of this. It feels like being skinny is not even worth the effort I've put in it. It's not sustainable with how impulsive I've become. I'm a disgrace. Sorry for all this negativity.

[Help] Low cal bread in Canada?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|133.5lb|25.6|-25.5lb|F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 05:50:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4335il/low_cal_bread_in_canada/
---
I miss sandwiches so much but bread is such a waste of calories. I'm pretty sure you can't get the Sara Lee or Pepperidge Farms brands up here... Are there any alternatives? I'm in Eastern Ontario if it matters.


Oh and if someone can find me low cal bagels, you'll own my damn soul.

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support January 28, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 28 05:02:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4330bq/weekly_emotional_support_january_28_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting.

^Thanks ^to ^/u/InTheGecko ^for ^the ^concept ^of ^this ^weekly ^post!

^Weekly ^emotional ^well-being ^and ^support ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Thursday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant] Depression from job hunting is messing with me and binges are the unwelcome side effect.
/u/kikilibertine [5'7"| 148 | 23.1 | -17 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 28 01:58:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/432iw9/depression_from_job_hunting_is_messing_with_me/
---
This is just a stupid vent so feel free to skip if you don't feel like reading.

TLDR is in the title pretty much.

--

I'm having the worst issues with binges right now. I usually go ok with restricting until this midpoint in the week (always the same damn time every week). Like clockwork:

* I go to my Volunteering organization and spend 5 hours working as a Receptionist whilst looking for paid jobs in my free moments

* I realise I'm pathetic at life and will never amount to anything (low self esteem for years) because nobody will hire me

* Depression flares up and my thought processes lead to me overthinking all other areas of my life

* End up bingeing on chocolate, buffalo wings and hot chips (my three vices) after such a good morning of salads and intentions to hit the gym. No exercise happens because when I finish I immediately go home to cry and browse the internet because fuck responsibilities

--

I feel so guilty after the process, and what makes matters worse is I am convinced that getting a stable full time office job is going to cure all my problems. I know what I should be focusing on is my depression and making myself happier so I can handle the job hunting process without shutting down so frequently, but you try to tell me brain that's a good idea.

Also I want to work full time because I know working would keep these binges at bay (my current work is courier deliveries and mail sorting, and I have no appetite when working). When I go out for deliveries on the city streets I see all of these beautiful skinny girls in pretty dresses and skirt/top combos with heels and perfectly done hair/makeup, going to their office jobs. The jealousy motivates me most of the week to exercise and restrict so I feel like if I could be in their position I would be motivated somewhat by my own success to look good and keep losing weight.

I'm sorry if none of this makes sense or even qualifies as ED related discussion. My brain is such a fog and I'm just this puddle of guilt. I'm useless, can't find a job, and then the binges make me feel even more fat and useless. I've come down so far from my highest weight in the past 5 months. I'm back to the weight I was when I was 18 (I'm 23 now). I want to keep losing so bad and these setbacks are just messing with me.

[Discussion] Other sites/apps.
/u/SingForMaya [5'2" |108 | need to recalc | F, 23 | GW:90]
Created: Thu Jan 28 01:22:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/432fom/other_sitesapps/
---
I used to visit the proanaa tags on tumblr and especially Instagram, and I know they've always had a policy against those kind of things, but lately the tag has been absolutely flooded with photos of VERY triggering food and recovery shit. It's bs and I miss scrolling through proED stuff for support since I am in no way ready for recovery. What else do you guys go to besides Reddit?

[Help] Is there any other way to stop these binges?
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 112.6 | 16.97 | -32 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 23:29:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4324e8/is_there_any_other_way_to_stop_these_binges/
---
If I have shit in the house and I start eating *anything* I can't stop. I'll restrict *so well* at work, all day, even though I could get food any time I want. But I get home and eat a salad and then if I have *anything* sweet in the cabinet I'll devour it. I have bad teeth already so I'm scared to vomit. What do I do?

[Discussion] (MFP) I love hiking. I consider this good day. Agree/disagree?
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Wed Jan 27 23:03:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4321c9/mfp_i_love_hiking_i_consider_this_good_day/
---
http://imgur.com/MsVxZHo

[Help] I'm a boy?
/u/privatecarnage
Created: Wed Jan 27 21:58:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/431t18/im_a_boy/
---
I can never find anything for myself in pro-anything websites. All these pictures of beautiful girls and their ribs but none of guys doing the same. I can't find anything to talk with other guys in a group about it. Where do I look?


[Discussion] I found old pictures
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 21:40:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/431qqz/i_found_old_pictures/
---
So today I was looking for a specific old picture (like going through a box of prints, that's how old I am, folks). And in addition, I found several old pictures of me from when I was much thinner. I have one (only one) picture from my low weight, and it's not a full body shot, it's just my face, I only know it's the right picture from the shirt I'm wearing in it. But it gives me a bit of a goal.

Does anyone else go through their own old pics for thinspo?

[Rant] I'm such a mess
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 21:14:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/431mxk/im_such_a_mess/
---
I'm a big wreck now. I binged and purged 3 times yesterday and twice today. It's getting out of control right now. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like absolute garbage. I keep telling myself that today will be different but I always end up binging and purging. I need this to stop. I can't keep going like this. I just want to starve myself

Edit: I know I keep posting about my troubles with binging lately. I just don't know where else to turn to. Sorry if all my posts are annoying

[Rant] I've got gallbladder disease...
/u/Skinnywolf9 [5'4" |130.4 | 22.82| -4| F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 18:44:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/430zrj/ive_got_gallbladder_disease/
---
After about 2 weeks of terrible pain and gross-ness...I'm 90% sure I have gallbladder disease. Based on my symptoms it seems to fit. No-I'm not a doctor so of course I'm getting it checked out ASAP (and I could be wrong), but I'm also a professional patient and am not stupid when it comes to medical issues/diseases.

So here I sit in terrible pain and all over sicky-feeling...and part of me is thrilled. I'm not hungry ever, and when I do eat it makes me sick. So I'm avoiding food, especially fatty foods. It's making my proED side very excited. I'm so going to hell for these feelings lol.

[Rant] Pinterest and thinspo
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | 32.28 | -50 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 18:10:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/430ukm/pinterest_and_thinspo/
---
My thinspo quotes board disappeared, none of the pins are in my pins list, and it won't let me make a new one >:|

Why This Woman Made A Feminist Comedy About Bulimia
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 17:16:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/430lqo/why_this_woman_made_a_feminist_comedy_about/
---
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-skinny-jessie-kahnweiler_us_56a7a4a1e4b01a3ed123e7a1?

[Discussion] Overdue Intro - Hi all!
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 16:24:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/430d8h/overdue_intro_hi_all/
---
Hey everyone! What with getting geared up to maybe plan/host events I thought I'd introduce myself.

I'm BHH. I run a little boutique in Seattle, sing loudly outside of bars, and have a ridiculous ankle boot addiction that is beginning to take over my whole life.

I joined the sub for sort of unusual reasons. Growing up in a 200lb+ family, in white suburban America my whole life has been food=happiness. Which kind of sucked for me given having IBS, lactose intolerance, and some hormonal issues that make my whole belly area a battle field.

I found that restricting not only makes me feel more healthful and let's me live without pain, but helps my soul and positive outlook. After seeing both my parents have heart attacks, losing my grandmother and grandfather, and being diagnosed obese myself I became aware of our crazy excess culture. Talk about scary.

Now down from my highest weight of 180, working towards no set weight but a goal to live on 800-1000kcal a day. I want to break the cycle of food slavery that I'm surrounded by, and replace it with healthy relationships, enriching experiences, and better goals than a full belly.

Thank you all for being so open! Hope to be meeting some of you very soon! :)

Have a great day, slims and lovelies!

[Help] I'm going on a 36-hour water fast - support?
/u/fiona-0 [5'7" | 114.8 | 18.0 | -21.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 15:36:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/430501/im_going_on_a_36hour_water_fast_support/
---
I feel like I need to cleanse my body. In the last few weeks I've gotten used to bad eating habits. I want to shake that and reset my definition of hunger. However I'm notoriously bad at fasting, so I need all the support I can get! I'm tired of not feeling full even when I've eaten, so maybe not eating for 36 hours will make me appreciate food more. :(

[Discussion] anyone have spotify?
/u/lesoleiletlalune [5'4" | 130 | 22.75 | -30 | f]
Created: Wed Jan 27 14:59:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42zyem/anyone_have_spotify/
---
I just found a playlist called "It's Anorexia, bitch." despite the abrasive title, it's actually a really lovely mix that I like listening to instead of eating. I was making my own "don't eat" playlist, but then I found this. any other ED playlists you like/created? I still like my little personal one, but this one has SO MANY songs.

[Help] How do you stop being tired all the time?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 27 13:41:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42zjxp/how_do_you_stop_being_tired_all_the_time/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] What triggered me back into relapse
/u/skinnyminnynomoree [5'11" | 156.8 | 21.20 | -3lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 12:50:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42za85/what_triggered_me_back_into_relapse/
---
This is sort of an introduction post, but also kind of a vent post.

Struggled with my ED since I was 15, and I'm 18 going on 19 right now. Never got to too low of a weight when I was restricting. Never officially Dxed, but my counselor speculates I have BED or EDNOS. I'd have periods of restriction with interspersed binges. I think BED is more accurate for my ED in later years. But restriction has always been at the back of my mind. Usually I'm able to be "good" and rationalize those thoughts away before I act on them. Hell, until recently I was somehow to look past the fact that I'm the heaviest I've been since I was 15 and actually felt pretty okay about it.

But...I'm in a relationship. And two minor things (but major in my ED brain) happened that have me running back into my ED's arms. I was showing my SO pictures of me at my lowest weight (which I reached without really trying--I was extremely active at my job and was so busy I hardly had time to eat). He seemed quiet, and I asked him what was wrong. After prying he broke and said he wished my hair was still that long (whatever, I can always just grow my hair out) and that he wished I was still that skinny. It was just a dumb slip up on his part, I know he didn't mean it in a mean way. I could see the regret on his face as soon as he said it. He immediately started to back pedal but it was too late. I felt like I was huge.

The second thing was us looking at porn together to make fun of but also just to start some sexy time. He logged into his pornhub account just to find a ridiculous video he'd seen a while back...and most of the videos in his history were xxxsmall or tiny girls...just small, thin girls.

I don't think he thought anything of it. It's just a preference. He says I'm a perfect 10 to him. I just...I feel like such trash. I'm tall, which is bad as it stands because he's a couple inches shorter than me, so I already feel giant. But this boy is a twig. He's small, muscular, and skinny. Next to him I'm like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. I hate it. I feel absolutely disgusting.

I don't want to be disgusting. So I'm jumping back into the waters of my ED. I know it's not smart but it's the only comfort I have right now. I'm so triggered...it's just so easy to go back into old habits. So easy and comforting. Going to start with a liquid fast. Wish me luck.

[Rant] Sickness and getting back into the swing of things
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Wed Jan 27 12:49:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42za3a/sickness_and_getting_back_into_the_swing_of_things/
---
So a while back I lost a lot of blood and was super sick because of it. I tried to continue restricting, but I couldn't get out of bed unless I had ate a "normal" amount due to my drop in hemoglobin. I ate so much. I gained only a couple pounds, though, which just seems impossible to me. I feel like I should be +10 at least. I was also eating paper due to anemia and not wanting more calories than I was already eating (do not eat paper, the constipation and passing is so painful).

I'm *finally* feeling somewhat better, but I'm still having some bad effects if I restrict too much. I tried fasting, but it made me shake so bad I couldn't work on my paintings. Even liquid fasting was too little.

I'm so frustrated and trying to fight against the lightheadedness and nausea. I've been taking slow release iron supplements(with vitamin C) and a daily vitamin with a bit of food, but I think I'm still anemic. Winter time is always difficult for me to stay healthy. Maybe I should up my vitamin D.

I don't know. I'm so angry with my body even though I brought the anemia on myself. It was a psychotic episode, which is difficult to overcome in the moment.

I want Winter to be over. Or I should invest in a Sun lamp.

[Discussion] Intro :P
/u/nvrgonnaleavethisBED [5'10"|163|23.4| -14lb |F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 12:17:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42z3wn/intro_p/
---
I found this subreddit a few weeks ago and have been lurking ever since. It's been really nice seeing a place for people with disordered eating since I've struggled with it for so long. I've been diagnosed with binge eating disorder and at my highest weight was 200 pounds at 5'10 as a result of a really shitty home life and zero self control when I was 15.

Right now, it's been a couple years since I lost a good chunk of that weight but between binge and restrict cycles I keep bouncing back between 150 and 180, never getting down to the 135 or 140 I actually think I'll be happy at. I just want to have control...

This subreddit has actually gotten me back into a restrict cycle which I'm grateful for as I'm at 170 right now, and having just gotten into a relationship with a good looking athletic guy I feel like even more of a pig than usual. So I just I'm just writing this post to say thank you for all of your posts. I hope becoming active here will keep me disciplined with the 800 cals a day I'm doing, and help me lower that till I stop feeling so gross.

[Rant] I'm so gross
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 11:31:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42yv6f/im_so_gross/
---
It's only noon. I've eaten two donuts and a bunch of crackers and cheese. Like a bunch. Maxed out my calories for today and tomorrow. I hate myself. Ugh. Guess I have to punish myself in the gym tonight. Oh and I'll be super backed up so here goes some laxatives. Why do we self-sabotage like this??

[Rant] Time to reveal my flair, introduce myself, and tell you all my story.
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 11:26:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42yu9m/time_to_reveal_my_flair_introduce_myself_and_tell/
---
Hi my friends, I feel as if I know all of you, but none of you know me. I'd like to change that. WARNING (and I'm sorry) Huge wall of text

Okay, so, here goes:
It all started when I was 12. I lost weight for a boy, and because kids constantly teased me about my "hitler mustache," frizzy hair, and jelly rolls, and it quickly became destructive. I dropped down to 98lbs before my mom told me to stop or she would send me to a hospital. I wish it were so easy. I did eventually stop restricting when I joined my high school's swim team. It was great, I made friends and I think I was really happy. The season ended, but I continued to eat like I was burning 2,000 calories a day. Which did not end well. I skyrocketed up to what was (at the time) my highest weight - 125. It was tragic to my 14 year old mind. And when I went back to try out for the swim team next year, I quickly decided I couldn't swim ever again because of the scars on my hip and the fat on my thighs. I started restricting (a little) again in the spring. Then I met another boy, and once again, I felt like I needed to lose weight to be good enough for him. Dropped 20lbs in the 6 months we dated, and then when he broke up with me, I started bingeing again and not caring about my weight. Back up, this time to 135, I went. The winter was my worst ever. I began bingeing and purging. Then, I started talking to my ex's best friend (scandalous, I know) and we started dating. I wanted to get in shape for the junior prom in the spring, so I dropped down to 105 in 3 months. Then, my mom told me she would send me into treatment if I didn't stop restricting. She didn't know about the b/p. Over that summer I gained all the weight back by bingeing and purging, and I was so depressed with myself and my weight. This next spring was when my ED kicked in real hard. A good friend of mine was diagnosed with anorexia, and told everyone about it, but no one knew about me. I guess I spun out of control. I would drink 80oz of water a day, 24oz of coffee each morning, and nothing else until vegetables for dinner, which I usually purged. It was difficult hiding the weight loss from my parents, especially since they had been through this before with me. They told me I might not be able to go to college if I kept this up. I ignored them. I went to New Orleans on a class trip for a week and ate nothing but carrots, lettuce, and mustard the entire time. And ya know what really grinds my gears? Not a single student or teacher said a fucking word. When I got back I had reached my LW in years, 103. I went to the senior prom with my boyfriend (the same one as last year) and thought I was fat in my dress. That's when my mom decided to essentially lock me up in the house and force me to eat. I refused to go to my boyfriend's senior prom, because I was convinced that because I had gained 10 lbs I wouldn't fit into my dress. Then I went into PHP treatment. There is nothing I hated more in my entire life. I had to take a year off from school, not go to my dream college, because some bastards decided they ere the ones who decided what I weighed. And that number was tear-inducing: 145. I spent the summer in treatment, and the year working at Chipotle. I lost 25 of those pounds by Christmas, but gained them back by the time I came to college. Then, I decided I would really up the ante. I restricted, exercised, and eventually got back to 130. But I was unhappy with how slow the progress was. So I started bingeing and purging, and seeing my school therapist and doctor. Ugh, how I wish I had never gone to see them. They made me gain back up to 145, and being at home during Christmas 2015 made me gain back up to a number I said I would kill myself if I ever weighed it: 150. I looked hideous, felt enormous, and generally wanted to kill myself. So now, being back to college, it's time to change. I fasted for 3 days, then for the next 3 days I kept it under 200 calories. We'll see where it goes from there, but hopefully with the support of this community I won't fail.

Because after all, I'm almost 20 years old, and in the words of Cassie Ainsworth, "It's like, nobody's fucking business."

**TL;DR:** lost and gained weight like 5 times, bouncing between 145 and 98, finally fed up with treatment, ready to completely relapse.

[Discussion] Jessie Kahnweiler's "The Skinny"
/u/sorry_ari [5'4 | 128 | 22.4 | -14 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 11:23:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ytq2/jessie_kahnweilers_the_skinny/
---
Having never purged, I don't know if I feel right recommending this, or being able to say whether it's triggering, but Jessie Kahnweiler's other work is always way real while still being funny and human. I would so recommend her to anyone who just wants to relate.

[Link](http://www.refinery29.com/2016/01/101971/the-skinny-episode-1?utm_source=feed&utm_medium=rss)

[Discussion] Interesting blog article from ScienceofEDs: Why Banning Pro-Ana is a Bad Idea
/u/acadavia [5'3| 96.8 | 17.4| F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 11:18:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ysrq/interesting_blog_article_from_scienceofeds_why/
---
http://www.scienceofeds.org/2013/07/20/why-banning-pro-ana-is-a-bad-idea/

[Rant] Doctor problem....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 27 11:15:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ys5o/doctor_problem/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I'm so upset
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 27 11:12:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42yrlb/im_so_upset/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Kcal conversion confusion
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 118 ; 18.5 | GW 111 ; 17.4 | f]
Created: Wed Jan 27 09:53:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42yd1m/kcal_conversion_confusion/
---
Howdy humans, hiheyohhello here (alliteration always. Anyways..)
I just ran for "345" kcal as reported by the treadmill I just ran on, and I've never known the difference between a calorie (albeit that it raises the temperature of water by one degree). I'm horrific at comprehending conversion factors (like in chemistry), and Google converter says 0.001 kcal (kilo, thousand, calories) = 1 calorie... so I ran off 300 000 CALORIES WHATTTT. No. Lol. I believe it being 345, sure, even with treadmill inaccuracy.. but I just want to know in general what the difference between the two factors are, as I have a list of conversions saved on my phone so I can start using kcal for food consumption
Edit - mobile flair problems


[Help] Bad breath?
/u/Silver_Girl95 [5'6" | 126lbs | 20.3 | -? | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 09:18:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42y6qr/bad_breath/
---
So I brush my teeth properly twice a day and I use an extra strong minty toothpaste. Also, I never forget to brush my tongue.

I gargle twice a day and floss my teeth once. There's a container of no sugar mints in my bag at all times and I drink plenty of water.

Yet my breath still smells, it gets really bad inbetween lunch and dinner. I'm extremely self conscious about it, I even try to tilt my head in the opposite direction of the person I'm talking to.

I might have to pop a lot more mints, I don't really use a lot of them. But surely brushing, gargling and flossing should be enough? When I eat 'normally', my breath doesn't smell. So I'm wondering if this is linked to fasting and restricting.

Anyone know?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 27, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 27 09:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42y3x1/daily_food_diary_january_27_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 27, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Rant] Shit like this makes me paranoid (x-post r/fatlogic)
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 122 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 08:22:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42xx5k/shit_like_this_makes_me_paranoid_xpost_rfatlogic/
---
https://imgur.com/g1sHXEk

[Discussion] intro
/u/salt_skin [5'4" | 136 | 23.8 | -39 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 07:22:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42xo6p/intro/
---
i've decided to come out of lurking. i don't really know what to say other than hi so hello! :)

[Help] Don't know how much I weigh [Advice]
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" | 137.2 | 27.07 l -11.8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 07:19:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42xnu9/dont_know_how_much_i_weigh_advice/
---
Sorry I can't flair, I'm on mobile.

I've had a rough last couple weeks of vacation where I've hung around 139-142 (I'm too embarrassed to update my flair). I've been better back at school without all the temptations of a home cooked meal or family meal times. Yesterday morning I weighed 139.6, which is the lowest I've been in about a week. Yesterday I stayed at 800 calories and then I binged on a HUGE muffin (seriously bigger than my fist) and butter and milk etc. Bad times. I purged it up and then later that night I ate some ungodly amount of Chex mix and drank chocolate milk (made from WHOLE MILK. Seriously wtf is wrong with me). I didn't purge it, or have another huge binge and purge session like I wanted to. Anyway, long story long I got on the scale this morning with seriously no idea what it would say after yesterday's events. And it won't give me a straight answer. It's like it's mocking me, giving me anywhere from 139.4 to 142.8. I move it and step on it again and get a different number. After probably 10 minutes of this I stopped because clearly there wasn't a point and now I'm freaking out. I just got this scale less than a month ago but this is the third scale in 6 months I've bought. I tossed the other two because they did the same thing. But I seriously can't believe that I got 3 scales in a row that were broken?? All three were different kinds, too. I don't know what to do. I hate not knowing how much I weigh but I don't want to have to buy a new scale every week. Is it possible that I'm wearing them out quicker than normal? What do I do?

[Help] Not thirsty?
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 06:23:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42xflo/not_thirsty/
---
I'm fasting and I'm almost 44 hours in right now. But I'm not thirsty at all. I feel very full and constantly peeing, but it's clear anyway and I have no signs of dehydration. I drank a big cup of tea earlier and felt too full to finish it. I try to drink at least a big sip of water every time I went to the bathroom.

Does anyone know this feeling? What do you do?

[Discussion] I've heard anything over 200cal is a "meal." Amen to that - here's my binge that stuffed me up and made me sleepy.
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 01:56:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42wndr/ive_heard_anything_over_200cal_is_a_meal_amen_to/
---
http://i.imgur.com/MKp9fhI.jpg

[Help] Does anyone else have this problem?
/u/Panda_Melody
Created: Wed Jan 27 01:39:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42wlrk/does_anyone_else_have_this_problem/
---
Ok. So during the summer /warmer parts of fall I lose weight SUPER easy. Like, all I have to do is restrict and the weight just falls off. But now its winter and I have been restricting super heavy and going to the gym 3x a week sometimes more and I have been STUCK. 138 seems to be the lowest my body will go currently. Ive been between 138 and 141 for the past 3 months.

Im hoping that once it warms up my body will let me lose again. Otherwise I dont know what im going to do :(

Isn't it the best when you're so hungry that even plain lettuce sounds like a treat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 27 01:34:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42wla9/isnt_it_the_best_when_youre_so_hungry_that_even/
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[deleted]

[Help] confused with progress
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Wed Jan 27 01:08:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42wipd/confused_with_progress/
---
i seem to be plateauting around 800-900 cals a day. Is my body going to starvation mode? I cant imagine eating more and im not hungry, but should i be doing 1200?

[Help] I've been binging like crazy these past few days..so I'm starting a 30 day liquid fast.
/u/fuckmyed
Created: Wed Jan 27 00:56:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42whgb/ive_been_binging_like_crazy_these_past_few_daysso/
---
I'm sick of this. This past month I've let myself go to shit, my binging habits have been insane. It's been 500 calories in one week and then 3000 the next. I want to do a 30 day liquid fast for two reasons.

1. I want to make my body adapt to not always having to eat incessantly

2. Obviously the weight loss, I find that restricting is so much easier when you're not consuming solids.

I've done a 30 day juice fast before, and it went well. However that was three years ago, and I'm not sure how everything will fare now. I'd personally like to try something different this time, but I'm out of ideas. I just want a liquid only diet that'll enable me to restrict easier if I'm not eating solids. Has anyone else done something similar?

[Rant] I feel awful.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5| 105,4 | 17.75 | 9,2 F]
Created: Wed Jan 27 00:30:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42weo6/i_feel_awful/
---
I binged and purged four times yesterday. Four times. I haven't done that in years.

No I feel like I'm dying of thirst no matter how much water I drink, my heartbeat feels way too fast and I'm dizzy and nauseous. This feels like a horrible hangover. And I need to clean my flat today, my parents are coming by.

From now on, I try not to purge. Even if I binge, I won't purge. Perhaps that's the way to not binge several times a day. This is just awful, and now I will try anything to prevent me from doing this shit again.

(And I don't want even to think about the calories, I'm afraid that this will take away all the progress I made with my weightloss.)

[Goal] Broke my fast, starting a new one.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 26 23:35:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42w80n/broke_my_fast_starting_a_new_one/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Nicole Richie
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 22:39:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42w0vr/nicole_richie/
---
http://i.imgur.com/aM2OGrY.jpg

[Help] Help?
/u/kursedsun
Created: Tue Jan 26 22:21:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42vya8/help/
---
So it's been 20 years since I've purged. I've started purging again. Nobody knows yet.

Should I ask for help? Do I even want help? I don't know! I don't know what to do but I do not want to go down that dark road again.



[Tip] I forgive you, rice cakes
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 21:50:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42vty2/i_forgive_you_rice_cakes/
---
Rice cakes in the past have been like Styrofoam to me. But maybe they've improved in the past few years since I've had them, or I'm finally hungry enough to appreciate them. Just had a quaker 'chocolate crunch' rice cake, and it was like amazing. Crunchy and chocolaty, why did I hate these before? And, most important, only 60 calories! I am unreasonably excited about this! šŸ˜Š

[Help] .... moisturizer calories?
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 118 ; 18.5 | GW 111 ; 17.4 | f]
Created: Tue Jan 26 21:21:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42vpsd/moisturizer_calories/
---
okay I think this idea is inherently stupid but I can't help it.. haha ughhh. I've been using virgin coconut oil on my skin for months and my CW has plateaued in the past two weeks... I'm premed so I know that your skin absorbs a lot of stuff into your blood stream, which freaks me the fuck out, but my shrinking skin makes me worried about stretch marks more (guess who is self obsessed enough for that to be a problem impeding the ED desire to lose weight ?? ... sigh) I'm too embarrassed to ask my professors or my peers, and too conflicted to not care. Any ideas ?? I do use bio-oil and equate oil too, but coconut is so much cheaper. Anyone know anything about this? (Google seems to find this issue troll worthy so that didn't help either)

Also seriously concerned about things like nail biting tbh ><

**mobile no flair

[Help] How do I go about restricting If I haven't done it successfully?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Tue Jan 26 21:08:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42vnxm/how_do_i_go_about_restricting_if_i_havent_done_it/
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[removed]

[Help] Training myself to "need" less calories?
/u/lemew_lepurr [5'2|116 |21.2 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 21:07:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42vnvb/training_myself_to_need_less_calories/
---
Hey everyone. So before starting the ABC diet this week, I'd been averaging about 700-800 cals a day (plus exercise, so not a net estimation) as dictated by LoseIt and honestly I do pretty well there. The first two days of ABC are only 500 cals though, and I felt the difference almost immediately yesterday. Does anyone have tips on how to train themselves down to a smaller "enough" calorie limit?

For reference, I try to fast 15-19 hours a day, eat small meals to shrink my stomach, and keep to a vegan diet. (maybe that's not helping?)

[Tip] Swish the spit around in your mouth to defeat your hunger pangs
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 20:39:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42vjn9/swish_the_spit_around_in_your_mouth_to_defeat/
---
Been doing it for a few days. It feels disgusting and I don't want to eat anymore

Also, brush your teeth!! Helps so much.

[Help] Do you ladies (and gents!) use protein powders? Can you recommend any that are low cal?
/u/zelska [Height: 160cm/5'3" | CW: 51kg/112lbs | GW: 45kg/99lbs]
Created: Tue Jan 26 20:24:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42vhfe/do_you_ladies_and_gents_use_protein_powders_can/
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I've been considering starting to use protein powders for a while now- as a heavily restricting vegetarian you can imagine my protein intake is basically zero at the moment.

Thing is I have no idea where to start- brands, specific product recs, recipes, anything!

(Ps- I am also based in the UK so if anyone has any regional specific recommendations that'd be top but if not Amazon is bae so it's fine either way!)

[Discussion] Meet ups or events?
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 19:45:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42vbkg/meet_ups_or_events/
---
Is there another sub or is that just not a thing really?

Personally, I'd love to meet some of you and actually get to enjoy outings without food as the central focus. Maybe shopping trips, snack-less picnics, going out for a few drinks, ect.

I rarely get to go out with friends any more because I just can't stand the WE NEED FOOD TO HAVE FUN mentality.

Do any events ever happen? Is anyone else interested in the idea?

I'm sure I'll look huge next to all of you, but it would be fun to get that face to face support going for a lot of us. :)

EDIT: My idea for keeping anonymity and safety for users. First, public locations of course. That's a given. Second, no phone numbers ect. Just PM's or maybe other chat form to organize and find out who we're looking for. Keep haters and fetishists out. Third, keep events (primarily) out of bars. Maybe parks, coffee shops, book stores ect. That way users ages aren't brought up and accessibility is still there.

There's way more WA folks than I thought, so I will look into organizing something maybe for Feb? To the rest of y'all, keep posting! You never know who's out there with you! :)

[Help] Avoiding Malnutrition
/u/In_a_fatsuit [161 | 75 | 29 | -26 kg | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 19:04:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42v4xo/avoiding_malnutrition/
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What are your supplement regimens like? I'm having trouble eating; I've been averaging about 250kcal/day lately and I'm worried that if this keeps up, I'll get fucked up from the lack of micronutrients. (And that I've fucked myself up in the past from it)

Any advice is appreciated.

[Help] Tips on how to stay focused?
/u/gohighhhs
Created: Tue Jan 26 18:54:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42v3de/tips_on_how_to_stay_focused/
---
[removed]

[Help] getting tired early on days I take primatene
/u/lesoleiletlalune [5'4" | 130 | 22.75 | -30 | f]
Created: Tue Jan 26 17:38:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42uqpn/getting_tired_early_on_days_i_take_primatene/
---
I take really small amounts, like one pill a day maximum, and I always take it towards the beginning or early-mid part of the day. I have caffeine in the morning and sometimes a little more caffeine a little later, but that's normal for me and has never made me crash like this before. I just get so tired. I thought it was from doing massive amounts of snow shoveling or working out hard at the gym but I didn't exercise at all today and I still feel really tired way too early. is this normal? I don't want to take more primatene or more caffeine later in the day because I don't want to make it hard to sleep. any advice? otherwise I feel fine, although I have been getting mild headaches as well. but that could be unrelated; sometimes I just randomly go through a period where I get a lot of headaches. is there something I can do to counteract this energy drain that isn't a stimulant? my ability to sleep is very sensitive to stimulants.

[Discussion] What's one food/drink you can't go without?
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | CW 71.5kg | UGW 52kg | -2.5kg | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 17:36:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42uqgs/whats_one_fooddrink_you_cant_go_without/
---
Everyday I have to have my coffee, especially if I'm restricting heavily. I don't even care how many calories it has, because sometimes it's my only thing to look forward to. Yes, coffee can be 0 if you like it black and bitter but I love sweet coffee.

Do you have any foods/drinks you make room for in your daily log?

[Discussion] How to you handle negative or positive comments on your weight loss?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 26 17:17:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42unck/how_to_you_handle_negative_or_positive_comments/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] I am stronger than this...
/u/CaityCait88
Created: Tue Jan 26 17:15:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42un1n/i_am_stronger_than_this/
---
So, today I received two rejections from doctorate programs and the reasons were basically that I could do nothing else, I was at the top of the pack but a few were better than I. I'm sad, angry, and feel like a failure. BUT, I still went to the gym. I didn't do a hard core workout but I went and sprinted, stretched, and did a little lifting. I also have only eaten about 200 calories today. I'm now at a coffee shop having tea and waiting to have a meeting with someone on a board with me.

I am stronger than two rejections. I am stronger than the urge to binge, and the urge to crawl into a hole and cry.

What are you stronger than?

[Tip] Unexpected way to keep from snacking!
/u/spaghetti_enthusiast [5'4.5" | 133lbs | 22.43 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 16:26:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ueot/unexpected_way_to_keep_from_snacking/
---
http://www.ulta.com/ulta/browse/productDetail.jsp?productId=xlsImpprod13301003

I stopped by Ulta the other day and picked up this lip balm on a whim because I LOVE lip balms and it looked interesting.

Holy moly the buzzing and tingling is STRONG. It's not a painful kind of tingling like a lip plumper or anything, more like a really intense vibration. Anyways, it makes me really conscious of my lips and what I'm putting in my mouth so I end up not feeling tempted to eat at all. The tingling totally curbs all my cravings. Also Ulta is having 20% your entire purchase now! I have the Sin-o-mint one which is clear and the Berry-sinister one, which is more of a really sheer berry color.

Just thought I'd share with you guys :) anyone have any other weird and unexpected ways you guys stay on track?

[Help] How to know if I'm actually making progress in fat loss?
/u/Satellite_skin
Created: Tue Jan 26 15:55:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42u9i7/how_to_know_if_im_actually_making_progress_in_fat/
---
Just looking at my belly and comparing pictures, Ive noticed that if i take before and after pics for just one meal, the pictures actually look like I've gained 15 lbs (not exaggerating) from one pic to the next.


My weight fluctuates a LOT day to day (even hour to hour.) Like, not eating for a day, I'll lose like 5 lbs. Eating normally for a day, I'll gain 5 lbs.


Ive been starving myself (and admittedly binged a couple times) for the last couple weeks, and even though overall the scale says ive lost 15 lbs, my before (empty belly) pic looks the same as my after (empty belly) pic.

I assume my belly size fluctuation has to do with having food in my belly, and my weight fluctuation has to do with water weight, but if this is the case how could I possibly know if Im *actually* losing weight (as in fat) and *actually* getting skinnier?

[Rant] I feel like I need to be completely empty and I hate it.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 15:50:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42u8o2/i_feel_like_i_need_to_be_completely_empty_and_i/
---
We're pretty much out of money right now. Our income isn't consistent, so it waxes and wanes. We shut off our phone, internet, heat, etc. I'm using our neighbor's WiFi. In another week or so, everything will be back on and normal.

But right now no money means no food. In theory that sounded fine to me. I didn't realize it meant that we only have high-carb foods left to eat. Cereal, bread, potatoes, pasta, etc. Even eating a small amount of it is causing a digestive freak out. Years of bulimia and laxatives have pretty much made my digestive tract a bit sensitive. I stay away from starchy foods because they stay in me for days and make me bloat so bad. My stomach bloats, but the rest of me gets puffy too especially my face.

I had a small bowl of pasta and I'm in pain. I want to take a handful of laxatives and fast and sleep for a few days. This month was supposed to be great and it completely stalled my progress.

In better news, February 1st is on a Monday and that makes starting things over again nice and neat.

[Rant] that awkward moment
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 112.6 | 16.97 | -32 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 15:13:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42u1wp/that_awkward_moment/
---
when your boss asks "hey, did you get a chance to look at that thing we talked about?" and you have a list of plausible excuses - "I was out of town", "Sorry, the software wasn't working" - but the real answer is "So sorry, I was busy with my super cool hobby of really disordered eating!"

[Rant] I'm sick! Ugh
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 120.4 lbs | 22 | -11.2 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 14:15:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42tr3r/im_sick_ugh/
---
Well I haven't posted in a couple days so just checking in for my own accountability I suppose. My fast ended Friday night and I've eaten twice since then-- Friday night I had pizza, and yesterday I had chicken fries from Burger king. Luckily I'm only 122.4 pounds so I'm on the right track again. Last night I started feeling really ill and achey and today it got MUCH worse, I've definitely caught something. My body is sore, my eyes hurt, throat hurts, nose feels dry, kept sneezing earlier, etc. It prompted me to go to CVS to pick up medication and I was able to find the Bronkaid! I haven't gotten around to asking the pharmacy for it initially because I have anxiety it's weird, but when I went down the allergy aisle there was one of those cards that said "Bring to the pharmacy for purchase" for the Bronkaid and Primatene. I went with Bronkaid because there was more pack in the punch so we'll see how this ECA stack goes! For now, I naturally have no appetite from feeling so sick which is a benefit for me, I won't be eating :)

Hope everyone is doing well!

"The problem with how we look at fatness, in one poem" Showed up in my FB feed and I'll be honest... I'm pretty annoyed/angry. You don't "try on" bulimia or anorexia...seriously PBS.
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 14:13:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42tqlq/the_problem_with_how_we_look_at_fatness_in_one/
---
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/poetry/the-problem-with-how-we-look-at-fatness-in-one-poem/

[Rant] Rant/Self-Hate/Anger/FML
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 14:10:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42tq4a/rantselfhateangerfml/
---
Okay so today I was all excited, had a job interview scheduled... one thing about this job is it could potentially be enough money for me to support myself and thus break free from depending on my boyfriend, who I fought with all morning via text (we are long distance so text and social media messaging is the bulk of our convo anyway).

I had sent him a message last night, about him cheating in the past. He said I've been bringing this up too much, but I have... only thing is it's I can't get over it. He won't say why, he won't say what has changed, he won't even say "you can trust me now" ... whatever... he said he apologized and regrets it, but I don't remember an apology, just the silent treatment and him being angry at me. He said he gets silent because I push him away with my "psycho sh*t" (meaning asking questions about him cheating). It's made me very insecure the last few years.

We've been together three and the first two were all him running around trying to hook up with other girls. Now we are sort of cohabitating, and except for him being gone for work a lot, we are pretty serious... but after today's fight, I just don't know. Being cheated on, which is new to me, is such a blow to your ego, especially if you stay afterward, and especially if the person who cheated gets angry at you every time you bring it up. I know I'm supposed to "get over it" and move on if I want it to work, but he's allowed no conversation about it, no healing process, nothing. He just doesn't want to admit to what he's done. So at the risk of losing him and my support system meaning my financial support and upsetting my child, I've decided to just sweep it under the rug, and I've vowed that to deal with these feelings I'm going to not eat. Eating doesn't help, I know that. Being fat doesn't help, and it doesn't help me NOT get cheated on again. Eating doesn't make me feel better. NOT eating helps me feel in control. Eating wastes time and money. NOT eating is a way to save money and time which could be spent on things like working out and beauty treatments and products, art supplies, whatever...

My body is the only thing in my life I have the power to change. I want to show all these people what I can be. And show myself I have the strength to do it, because clearly they all view me as weak and stupid. I hope I get this job because I don't want to depend on him anymore. He has no respect for me. He lies about things that have happened in the past. He blames everything on me being crazy. I'll show him how I hurt on the outside, because that's the only thing he'll understand. Everything else to him is my bullshit.

I have to fast the rest of the week. It's the only way.

[Rant] does this seem ridiculous?
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Tue Jan 26 13:44:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42tlfr/does_this_seem_ridiculous/
---
so this morning as i was getting ready for college i had my door opened by my aunt and she saw me putting my heating pad into my backpack and asked me why i needed it and i told her i bought it with me to college Thursday and then later on she noticed i didn't pack any lunch and then said why are you taking your heating pad but no lunch to school and i told her i don't know and at the end of that she said that this is ridiculous.

[Rant] Fuck my life.
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 114 | 18.4| F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 13:11:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42tfba/fuck_my_life/
---
I'm so sorry about this wall of text... I needed to share I guess... I have no-one to talk to about this and I am feeling so low. and so incredibly alone...

I hit my lowest weight of 109 last week. Since then, I have been craving bad. I ate about 18000 calories the past 6 days, about twice the amount I need to maintain. I have never done this before for so many days in a row. I have been stressed out, like bad, had an anxiety attack on my final (and probably failed it). On top of that I have been so constipated and bloated all week, I took a laxative two days ago, took another one yesterday, still nothing... Now I am so scared there's something wrong... I don't have the time to go see a doctor. Maybe it's because I used amphetamine -speed- for 5 days in a row (which I have also never done before and I have always said that I could do it no more than twice a week) and I fucked up. My belly feels like it's going to explode. It hurts and I kept eating. I hate myself more than anything. I can't purge, it's the only agreement with myself I didn't break, yet. I'm losing it. Having a huge breakdown right now... I have another final in 2 days and I am so nervous. I just want to lay in bed. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up... I can't do this anymore. I never want to eat again, but I have been thinking this for a few nights and during the day the stress comes back and I lose it. I kind of need my boyfriend to come over but there's nothing I can say to make him make the 3 hr drive to my place and I can't tell him any of my fucked up eating patterns and thoughts.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know why I'm posting this here, I'm sorry for this. I don't know what I'm looking for, advice maybe? Some recognition? Something to make me feel a little less alone?

[Help] Having my doubts, need encouragement!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 26 12:55:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42tcee/having_my_doubts_need_encouragement/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Snow Day Intro
/u/GlitterStarBaby [5'4"| 242,8 lbs | 41.68 | -7.2 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 12:14:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42t4t5/snow_day_intro/
---
Iā€™ve got time off work because of the blizzard that hit the east coast and Iā€™ve spent most of it on this sub. Iā€™m super nervous about posting this intro, but I feel like I need to because Iā€™ve completely slid back into some old and awful habits and nobody else wants to hear about this shit. Certainly not my super supportive but overly protective father and BF. My mom, who was my best friend and whole world, died over the summer. So, itā€™s just me in my little fucked up world of purging and hating myself.

Iā€™ve never been officially diagnosed. The purging started when I was 19, though Iā€™ve never had a great relationship with food. I lost a lot of weight, about 50lbs. My lowest adult weight was 140 and I thought I carried it well, but I was not at all satisfied. I maintained my weight, still purging, though with some fasting/restricting, within 10lbs of that 140 for several years. When I was 23, my BF and I moved in together. And I started to get fat because it was so difficult to purge with him around. And my friends were asking uncomfortable questions. I stopped purging and I got so fat. When I was 24, my mom got very sick and I started taking care of her, while also going to school and working full time. I got even fatter because I still couldnā€™t purge, but I wanted to eat the world to feel better.

Now, Iā€™m at my highest, most disgusting weight ever. My BF and I make some New Yearā€™s resolutions about losing weight and getting in shape. I get a fitbit for Christmas. I embark on a dry January. I religiously log my food into MFP and I never go over my allotted calories. Fuck you, purging! Go to hell, ED brain! Iā€™m in charge and Iā€™m going to get fit by eating healthily and working out. I will not push my luck and risk bad teeth, nose bleeds, and thinning hair just to be skinnier.

ā€¦yeah, right. I made it two weeks into January before I freaked the fuck out, saw the calories in a meal weā€™d just made and eaten, and ran to the bathroom to force myself to vomit for 15 minutes. I had the bathroom sink running the whole time, desperately hoping that BF wouldnā€™t hear me.

A year ago, in a moment of insanity and trust, I had told my BF about my probable bulimia. He was shocked that weā€™d been dating for two years while I was systematically punishing my body several times a day in the bathroom. Heā€™d had no idea. By the time I told him about it, I hadnā€™t really purged in about a year. I thought telling him would make me more accountable. And it did, for a little while. It also made me a blob of awfulness. Heā€™s been steadily losing weight over the course of January, and so have I. He just doesnā€™t realize why. I had to dial back my obsessiveness. Heā€™s already shown some concern over my caloric intake.

Since that first purge, Iā€™ve done it several more times. God. I know how bad it is for me. And itā€™s fucking disgusting. Itā€™s a really disgusting thing that I do to myself. But I missed it and it felt too good to be in control of my empty stomach. And itā€™s been downhill from there. Because I miss how I felt and was treated when I was smaller. I did it once and I can do it again. Fuck it, maybe this is just who I am.

In an attempt to move away from purging, I bought some Bronkaid (they were out of Primatene, which seems to be more popular for EC stacks?). Iā€™m taking one now with some coffee and crossing my fingers. Cheers!


[Discussion] Does anyone else have this weird eating ritual?
/u/usernameuseless
Created: Tue Jan 26 09:50:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42sdri/does_anyone_else_have_this_weird_eating_ritual/
---
I believe I suffer from an unconventional sort of ED. It is most similar to orthorexia if it can be labelled. But sometimes I purge, although not as often as I used to. I pretty much have not eaten bread/pastry/potatoes/peas/carrots/cereal/cake/ice cream etc etc etc for years. Anyway, while I am eating a safe food I enjoy watching videos like man vs food or looking at websites like pimp that snack or just photos of food I would never dream of eating. Why do I do this? Does anyone else? It's almost like I'm pretending that I'm actually eating something forbidden.

Weight loss and attention
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 26 09:19:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42s7xv/weight_loss_and_attention/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 26, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 26 09:02:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42s4qt/daily_food_diary_january_26_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 26, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] Reached my lowest adult weight :,)
/u/nevilleL0NGB0TT0M [63.75" | 89.7 | 15.9 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 07:27:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42rojd/reached_my_lowest_adult_weight/
---
Yesterday I posted in the Stats thread all pumped up because I was finally sub 95... And today I pooped (sorry TMI? but everybody poops??!) and now I am under 93! I wasn't planning on weighing myself today, so yesterday I restricted calories but still ate a ton of salty / sugary carbs. I can tell I'm retaining a fair amount of water from that because my face is so puffy, but ahh!! *I still lost weight!* I'm so close to my next goal!

I'm thinking about posting in the selfie thread soon but I am soooo paranoid haha. Maaaybe this week. Tbh I really just wanna snapchat someone my abs so they can confirm they exist.

I really need to like. Chill on the ED stuff and get my actual life together, but I'm honestly so happy right now and I want to hang on to this feeling before it goes away. :)

[Goal] Fasting diary, hour 30.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 26 07:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42rl0i/fasting_diary_hour_30/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Not turning to food for comfort!
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 126lbs | BMI 19.67 | Weight Lost: 19.5lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Jan 26 07:02:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42rkw5/not_turning_to_food_for_comfort/
---
That was a big problem for me as a kid. Comfort eating. And boy did I need comforting. So it's been a tough habit to break.


Today was like any other in that it was hard for me to get out of bed and face the world when all I want is to stay hidden away until I'm skinny enough. Except today I had a little treat (not food, for once) waiting for me at the end of a pretty bland day.


Well that was cancelled and I'm devastated and even though I'm on my lunch break in work, I'm not tempted to go out and get food.

At all. I don't even want to eat the cottage cheese and pitta sticks I had planned for dinner. This is amazing. Starvation has finally become my comfort.


If I can figure out how my mentality changed, I'll let you all know. Probably as simple as "Wouldn't have cancelled if I was skinny." So if you need motivation to not comfort eat- "[Blank] wouldn't have happened/be happening if I was skinny."

[Thinspo] 5'2 but legs for days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 26 03:52:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42r04k/52_but_legs_for_days/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Ehgin89.jpg

[Discussion] My doctor didn't even bat an eye!
/u/Wantminime [5'1 | 148 lbs | 29.2 | -32 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 26 00:19:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42qg2p/my_doctor_didnt_even_bat_an_eye/
---
I went to see my doctor today to get a medication refill and I was SO worried about having my weight taken. She of course noticed, but didn't lecture me like I expected for being down 27 pounds in 9 weeks. Instead, she asked me how I did it so that she could copy my diet for herself!

I guess that stereotype of no one thinking an ED is a possibility unless you're skinny is true. Which when you think about it is super depressing, but in this instance I'm thankful.

[Tip] low cal meals/ foods easy to prep
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Mon Jan 25 23:34:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42qb3t/low_cal_meals_foods_easy_to_prep/
---
Oatmeal (150 cal)
8 blueberries

Egg + 2 egg whites (130 cal)
Thin cheese (40 cal)
Rice cake/ bagel thin (35 cal/100 cal)

Trader joes chili lime chicken burger / tuna burger(150 cal)
Veggies of choice

2 trader joes meatballs (100 cal)
zuchinni noodles / miracle noodles (10-20 cal)

Rice cake
w/
Peanut butter (90-250)
PB2- (15-30 cal)
Sugar free maple syrup (10 cal)
Hummus (30 cal)
Cheese (40 cal)

Low cal pesto- blend spinach, basil and garlic
(put on chicken, turkey, etc)

Veggies
Celery
Snap peas

Egg whites with low cal cheese & veggies!!!!

Turkey and Dijon

Trader joes microwave brown rice
Trader joes shrimp stir fry (no seasoning)

Tomatoes with no fat mozerella melted on a rice cake

Fiber one cookie (use sparingly)

Dannon light and fit yogurt


Edit: *** what are some of your faves?***

[Tip] Day one with Pavlok. Holy Hell, this thing is amazing.
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 21:54:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42py3p/day_one_with_pavlok_holy_hell_this_thing_is/
---
Today my Pavlok came in the mail. After breakfast unfortunately, but I kept that under 300kcal so it wasn't a huge issue.

First thing I noticed is that I was scared before I even felt the zap. It looks so harmless but I know this thing can kick your ass pretty easily...

Finally convinced myself to pop it on as I started having cravings. I zapped myself when I walked in the kitchen. I zapped myself the moment I touched the food. I zapped myself while it cooked.

By the time it touched my mouth I didn't even want it a bit.

Same process all day, and I even felt motivated to hit the gym longer and jog into work.

This is just day one but so far each time food came up I felt so unmotivated to eat. Combined with my ephedrine and some caffeine/smokes I could totally see this helping for extended fasts once I get out of the rough first period.

Totally suggest this to all of you, and will keep you all updated as I continue my self-flagellation journey!

Love the Pavlok aka my little mobile fatshaming bracelet. :)

[Discussion] (tw) Post something that triggers you
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Jan 25 21:52:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42pxpo/tw_post_something_that_triggers_you/
---
Not sure if this is allowed but if it is, [here's mine](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/a9/17/cc/a917cc854311d07f037574cdd3162715.jpg)

[Tip] [Posted in xxfitness] Tool for calculating your TDEE
/u/acadavia [5'3| 96.8 | 17.4| F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 21:11:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42prmr/posted_in_xxfitness_tool_for_calculating_your_tdee/
---
[Here's the post](https://www.reddit.com/r/xxfitness/comments/42mt4x/revised_tdee_spreadsheet/)

This seems like a useful thing, so I wanted to share. I've tried making excel spreadsheets before, but this one is a lot prettier.

I put in about 2 months worth of data, and my TDEE according to the spreadsheet was significantly higher than what TDEE calculators have told me. This makes sense, as I've been losing weight much faster than my schedule says I'm supposed to be, but I'm not sure if it's because my TDEE is actually higher or because I've been overestimating the amount of calories that I've been eating, since I tend to round up. I also think I lost a lot of water weight or something (?) when I started taking vyvanse last week, because I dropped like 2 pounds overnight... so that might have something to do with the higher estimate.

Thoughts? If you've tried it, did your results surprise you?

[Discussion] Does anyone else read treatment manuals?
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 112.6 | 16.97 | -32 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 20:24:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42pkav/does_anyone_else_read_treatment_manuals/
---
I find PDFs online of books for therapists/doctors about EDs and read them cover to cover. Partly it's interesting to see things from the "other side" (especially what they imagine I must be thinking, lol) and partly so I "know the tricks", as it were. Like I've read a lot that "psychologically sophisticated" people are harder to treat and I want to know how they would try to fool me or make me do what they want. And it's interesting to see what kinds of treatment I do/don't meet criteria for. Does anyone else do this?

[Discussion] weird question here...
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Mon Jan 25 20:17:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42pjam/weird_question_here/
---
I have an unusual question for the community. Imagine this group of feelings. I am not hungry in my stomach. I am hungry in my throat. My mouth and my throat feels the need to eat. It's like I am in the habit of eating, even knowing that I don't want to eat. I am not hungry. Do any of you experience this sensation?

[Goal] Fasting hour 18
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 25 19:22:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42pac9/fasting_hour_18/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] A small album of assorted male thinspo
/u/somewhathazy [5'1.8" | CW 113 | LW ~65 | HW 131 | M]
Created: Mon Jan 25 18:54:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42p5qq/a_small_album_of_assorted_male_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/fSGXE

[Rant] Snow
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 155 | 24.2 | -30 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 18:34:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42p2ke/snow/
---
So, I live in the Northeast of the US and there was a huge blizzard over the weekend. We got a little over 2 feet of snow, which has basically trapped me in my house for the past 3 days. Normally, I'm a decently active person. I try to go to the gym at least 4-5 days a week. I'm really into the whole Fitbit community. On a good day, I'm between 15,000-20,000 steps, today I'm at 900. My car is stuck in my driveway and there's basically no way for me to leave my house. It's so true when they say "a body in motion, stays in motion." I slept till 5pm today and haven't left bed since. I have absolutely no motivation to do anything and I'm ridiculously tired for no reason. I wish I had some sort of gym setup in my house or the roads weren't dangerous, so I could go for a walk. I feel like a blob and that every calorie I eat is just sitting in my stomach. Normally, I don't feel so bad if I eat a little too much because I know with all the walking and exercising I do, I'll still be at a deficit. Today was just a wasted day and I have a feeling the rest of the week will be too.

[Help] Emotions?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 18:26:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42p145/emotions/
---
I have alexithymia, which means I can't identify emotions. Both in myself and other people. Most of the time it's fine because I'm numb. But lately I've been feeling emotions, but I don't really know what they are. I don't know how to handle them. I have no idea how articulate what I'm feeling most of the time.

I think this is triggering my binging and I hate it. I'm 41 hours into a fast and I feel a binge coming on, but I think I can push through it.

Any advice? I hate feeling like this.

[Help] History repeats itself...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 25 16:57:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42om7d/history_repeats_itself/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Hurt my back shoveling snow...
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | 154 | -12 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 16:54:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42olpi/hurt_my_back_shoveling_snow/
---
I tweaked my back shoveling snow today and now I can't even get out of bed! I'm so scared about not being able to work out this week, I haven't been able to go to the gym or run or anything since Thursday of last week because of this snow! Anyone have any home remedies to get my back to feel better?

[Discussion] Just burned 500 calories
/u/poop_dawg [5'8" | CW: 145 | GW: 110 | BMI: 22 | +10lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 16:40:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ojcq/just_burned_500_calories/
---
On my exercise bike. I am officially at a calorie deficit for the day and it feels good. I think I'll do more later too :)

Now I'm going to drink some tea and watch the hot brothers on Supernatural fight evil, and not feel guilty at all.

You all should pick yourselves up and work out a bit! It feels great.

Edit: currently on round two, for an eventual total of 1000 calories burned (according to the bike), and less than 650 calories consumed in food and drink! Hope I can keep this productive boost going!

[Discussion] What is the most amount of weight you've lost in a week and how did you do it?
/u/GribsterH
Created: Mon Jan 25 16:38:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42oj04/what_is_the_most_amount_of_weight_youve_lost_in_a/
---
For me, back when I was huge, I lost about 10lbs in a week.

[Goal] This is probably my goodbye.
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Mon Jan 25 15:51:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42oace/this_is_probably_my_goodbye/
---
Hey guys. I really like this community but I think it's time for me to go.

My SO, husband, and I have been having trouble in our relationship for a few months now. Some of our recent arguments have been over my ED.

I broke down yesterday and I think he is right about a few things.

I am ready to eat 1200-1400 calories a day now to lose weight healthily and slowly. I am already at 105 lbs and I might not try to lose too many more lbs, so I will start working on maintaining my weight soon.

I learned so much here! I love everyone here and I wish you luck in your journeys.

I am going to continue to work on having a healthy, whole food diet and of course I will continue to exercise 5-6 days a week. I might continue to try to do races like another half-marathon or full marathon.

I didn't want to just disappear from here since this community has been an important part of my life the last several months, but it is time for me to move on. I hope I can do it!

Bye!

[Discussion] Asian countries and BMIs: Is your goal weight healthy or unhealthy?
/u/sorry_ari [5'4 | 128 | 22.4 | -14 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 15:20:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42o4rv/asian_countries_and_bmis_is_your_goal_weight/
---
This is gonna be a long post.

So after a lot of back and forth, I've come to a conclusion....

I think I am OK. I don't feel out of control, I no longer feel insane with dysmorphia. I still enjoy food. If I eat too much or gain one day, I just tell myself to restrict the next day or two, and I feel at peace with it. It's a grind. My UGW, though lower than my LW, is still healthy. I don't have any doubt in my mind that I'll maintain and eat for my BMR/TDEE once I reach it. Sure, I'm restricting and fasting and taking unhealthy shortcuts to get my body to do what I want, but when I eat, I get protein and veg so I can still feel sharp on the day to day. I'm aware that I'm being crazy, but I don't *feel* crazy. Am I just rationalizing? I feel pretty confident in myself when I write it, and in the past I've been good at keeping to my commitments.

*(Aside: am I still welcome here? Not asking how to get an ED, but I'm pretty sure the other subreddits won't be pleased to know I'm restricting, fasting, and abusing Adderall every so often to lose weight. I don't need an earful. We all choose the way we want to hurt ourselves.)*

**OKAY, ONTO THE MEAT OF THIS POST:**

I'm starting to think about how much race factors into my commitment to lose weight. I read [this xoJane article "Fat for an Asian"](
http://www.xojane.com/issues/fat-for-an-asian-the-pressure-to-be-naturally-perfect) and relate so hard to everything here.

Note: It's NOT COOL for your auntie/popo/ajumma/lola/obachan to tell you you're fat. Ever.

On the other hand, I want to know what "for an Asian" actually means. I've been looking at average BMIs for Asian women in different countries, with the full awareness that [American BMI standards probably shouldn't apply to Asian women living in the West](http://www.scpr.org/blogs/multiamerican/2013/10/28/15076/skinny-asian-american-myth-covers-up-obesity-probl/).

* The [average height](http://nbakki.hatenablog.com/entry/Average_Height__Japanese_Women_2014) and [weight](http://nbakki.hatenablog.com/entry/2014/12/24/124428) for **Japanese women puts their BMI at around 20.1.** In international census groups, Japan is also ranked one of the healthiest developed nations.
* The [average height](http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/height-chart.shtml) and [weight](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Template:Average_height_around_the_world) for **Korean women is a 21.3 BMI**.
* I could not find statistics for **Chinese women**, but it wouldn't be right to compare such a large country with the other two smaller ones. But the [average height](http://en.rocketnews24.com/2014/03/26/chinese-census-finds-hard-facts-about-the-differences-between-chinese-japanese-and-koreans/) and [weight](http://www.jinwong.com/2013/08/03/slimming-culture/) in **Hong Kong leads to a BMI of 20.6**.
* It's important to keep in mind, after all this, that each of these countries is very different from one another, with unique problems and populations. Even details such as breast size may vary among countries, so this should be taken into account when thinking about weight.

So while my methods of achieving my goal BMI are unhealthy, in some of these countries, maintaining a BMI of 20 is *normal*, and if it's 19 or 18, people wouldn't blink. Given my family history, I think a [lower BF% will ultimately lower my risk for diabetes](http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/779072). But if my BMI were 20 I'd be considered "too skinny" by American standards. What the hell am I supposed to do with this information, and should non-American women consider applying different standards?



[Help] Eating Before Exercise?
/u/fearsize [5'4" | 126 | 22.05 | -3 | f]
Created: Mon Jan 25 13:41:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42nl7r/eating_before_exercise/
---
I'm taking an intense workout course this year and was told the first day that we *had* to eat before coming in, or we would run the risk of passing out. Since I'm new to the whole early-morning-workout thing, I'm unsure if I should take the professor's advice or not.

I've considered something along the lines of a 90-140 cal Fiber One bar, but I figured you lovely people would probably know more about how to avoid passing out during workouts...

Any advice is super appreciated! :)

Searching for a few tips
/u/SquirrelLurk
Created: Mon Jan 25 09:50:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42mc3x/searching_for_a_few_tips/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 25 09:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42m2jc/daily_food_diary_january_25_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 25, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Help] Send Me Positive Vibes Please
/u/iswearimalady [5'8" | 195.6 | 29.42 | -72.4# | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 08:55:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42m19i/send_me_positive_vibes_please/
---
So exactly one week from now I will be headed off for a month long stay in Germany, and even though I'm super excited to be returning, I'm also terrified. I CAN NOT gain weight during this trip. But for the love of god I love all the great food and chocolate and alcohol. Ugh... wish me luck lovies

[Tip] YOU ARE ALL PERFECT LITTLE BUTTONS.
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 08:47:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42lzqo/you_are_all_perfect_little_buttons/
---
Mrrrrowwwwwwww.

I was going to post a totally different thing today. I was on holidays all last week and am SO scared to go back to work and weigh myself today (I don't have a scale at home, but do at work.) I've been eating like shit since I haven't had anything to keep me distracted for most of the as like usual, and it sucked and I'm scared.

I also haven't had much time to check this sub since I haven't had really any alone time, and catching up today just made me so sad. I completely understand the self-loathing and body-shame and disgust, but it makes me so, so sad to see people on here say they feel like they don't deserve happiness in one form or another.

I hate my body. I am fat and jiggly and all the worst things a human can be aesthetically. I also think I'm annoying and mildly narcissistic and have anxiety that I'm pretty sure pisses people off, a bunch of fun stuff. But I still think I deserve happiness. If I was unsatisfied in my relationship, I'd leave it. I don't let people bully me (anymore.) I stand up for myself and others to street harassers. I like a good dicking and having orgasms. (Even if I usually wear a shirt during sex and there are definitive "don't touch me there" zones.)

YOU PEOPLE DESERVE THAT TOO! No matter WHAT you think you look like. If you're overweight, underweight, average weight for your height, that doesn't make you ANY more or less worthy of happiness.

I just want you all to have one ray of fucking sunshine today. I hope you all work on realising that YES you can talk to that hottie with the hopes of sex. Yup, you are worthy of love. You betcha that you have reasons to be alive and happy that aren't counting calories.

I know a lot of you somewhat define yourselves by your EDs, and in a way I do too. It affects so much of me that it's hard not to. But the actual reality is, the ED is NOT you. It's something that CLINGS to you and feeds off your vitality. You are desires, ambitions, emotions both unstable and stable, passions, intuition. You're so much that isn't an ED.

Anyways. I'm not perfect, obviously. I'm here, too. But God dammit we all deserve to be happy even if it's just with everything except our bodies. And I know a lot of us have a lot of other really terrible shit going on too, and I'm really fucking sorry to anyone that's happening to. But I'll always be your little piece of sunshine telling you that Goddamn you matter and holy fuck yes you deserve to be happy.

I hope everyone has the best Monday they are capable of having. I love you little buttons.

[Thinspo] I drew a little something - sorry it's blurry.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5| 105,4 | 17.75 | 9,2 F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 08:15:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ltqb/i_drew_a_little_something_sorry_its_blurry/
---
http://imgur.com/lLnWuUt

[Discussion] Very excited that it is Monday morning :)
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 08:10:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42lsue/very_excited_that_it_is_monday_morning/
---
Anyone else fasting today? I'm excited to feel clean and start the week off a blank slate.

[Tip] Haven't been able to get back on track since the holidays.
/u/cinnarolle [5'5 | 116 | 19.35 | -11 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 07:00:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42lgze/havent_been_able_to_get_back_on_track_since_the/
---
Hey everyone, I haven't been able to get back into restricting since the holidays even though it's almost February. I've gained over ten pounds and none of my clothes fit me. I just can't seem to get my cravings under control and am constantly grazing.

I really need some helpful advice. Do you guys have a method or something you do that helps you get back on track or helps control cravings? Any suggestion would be so so so helpful.

[Tip] Haven't been able to get back on track since the holidays
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 25 06:50:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42lfax/havent_been_able_to_get_back_on_track_since_the/
---
http://imgur.com/ivXecJf

[Help] Convince me to get out of bed?
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 06:44:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42lecw/convince_me_to_get_out_of_bed/
---
I've been depressed lately. That's somewhat why I have made recent updates to the site.

I binged two days, and I feel disgusting. I need to get up, take bronkaid, because I'm traveling today, but I'm disgusting. What I really should do now is get up, take bronkaid caffeine, and run like a freak until I faint. Maybe run for two hours and then I'll feel okay. I need to do this. I'm such a fat, attention-whoring fuck, I'm so sorry. Every time I post here, I feel like I don't deserve to because I'm not skinny and I'm lazy and such a failure.

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! January 25, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 25 05:02:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42l0gc/weekly_stats_update_january_25_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for January 25, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


Anyone up to fast for 5 days with me. Starting Monday Jan 25 til Friday? Details inside.
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 116.4 | 21.29 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 25 04:49:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42kz5o/anyone_up_to_fast_for_5_days_with_me_starting/
---
[removed]

[Goal] Fasting diary, first 24 hours.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 25 01:14:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42kdvw/fasting_diary_first_24_hours/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] miracle noodles
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Mon Jan 25 00:38:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ka8i/miracle_noodles/
---
do they work? are they actually no calories?


[Rant] I cannot for the fucking life of me get back in a restrictive cycle.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 25 00:06:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42k6wd/i_cannot_for_the_fucking_life_of_me_get_back_in_a/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] My uni work on food from archaeological sites is definitely making my hunger worse.
/u/zelska [Height: 160cm/5'3" | CW: 51kg/112lbs | GW: 45kg/99lbs]
Created: Sun Jan 24 22:09:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42jsls/my_uni_work_on_food_from_archaeological_sites_is/
---
This is going to sound so daft. It's not really the worst struggle in the world, but I feel like you lot will relate more than anyone I know in real life.

Basically what I am currently studying is all related to the origins of world agriculture. This means that loads of my reading and essay work involves food in some way, from just brief descriptions of early foraged plant species (almonds, olives etc) to long paragraphs about the way in which nuts, pulses, grains etc can be combined to make nutritious meals.

I am restricting most days but also fasting some, and trying to cope with my heavy workload while also trying not to drool over descriptions of prehistoric lentils is doing my head in! I didn't struggle half so much with restriction when I was writing about cave art last term!

Not to mention the fact that there is some sort of poetic foolishness in having to write about the struggles of early human populations to sustain themselves and their desperate search for nourishment while you are intentionally starving yourself...

Anyway, I hope at least some of you get a kick out of my ridiculous predicament.

Ana buddy???
/u/Missmiswatching
Created: Sun Jan 24 20:37:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42jfrk/ana_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Rant] I've decided to start counting the calories in my coffee and tea.
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 19:51:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42j8zn/ive_decided_to_start_counting_the_calories_in_my/
---
I used to say I would never count it. I told myself coffee, tea, multivitamins, and medication are negligible calories. But well... I feel like I must at least count tea and coffee now. I'm not counting my multi or my prozac (yet) but I fear that will come soon as well.

Just ranting about my own irrationality and silliness. Carry on people.

[Thinspo] Ribs and hipbones
/u/clamshells [5'7 | 115 | 18.0 | f]
Created: Sun Jan 24 19:13:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42j3dw/ribs_and_hipbones/
---
http://i.imgur.com/nQ5WYNB.jpg

[Discussion] Are you an omnivore? Vegetarian? Vegan? Paleo? Low-Carb? Other?
/u/kanjicolossus [5'6 | 75,8kg | 26,54 | -4,2 | M]
Created: Sun Jan 24 17:40:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ipbs/are_you_an_omnivore_vegetarian_vegan_paleo/
---
I'm just wondering what kind of general diet people follow on here, if anything. Recently I've been leaning toward vegetarian but I still love fish.

[Thinspo] Legs for days
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Sun Jan 24 16:17:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ibx1/legs_for_days/
---
http://i.imgur.com/35epf7c.jpg

Legs for days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 24 16:16:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ibrp/legs_for_days/
---
http://imgur.com/35epf7c

[Discussion] Anyone know how /u/alexallen96 is doing?
/u/thininsp
Created: Sun Jan 24 15:52:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42i7s6/anyone_know_how_ualexallen96_is_doing/
---
He posted two days ago in the daily food diary and it sounded a bit ominous, and hasn't been on since. He normally posts every day in the food diary. I am worried about him :(

/u/alexallen96 if you're out there, we're thinking of you!

[Discussion] Skipping meals so I can drink alcohol - anyone else do this?
/u/GribsterH
Created: Sun Jan 24 15:31:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42i48x/skipping_meals_so_i_can_drink_alcohol_anyone_else/
---
I'm at university so drinking is a major part of going out. Obviously I want to lose weight as fast as possible but alcohol has so many calories!
Usually I might have a couple of cup a soups (99kcal each) before a night out (plus my waistline looks better on an empty stomach anyway) so that I can drink a lot of vodka and wine.
Is this something that anyone else does on here? So far it seems to be working - I'm still losing weight despite the calories from alcohol.

[Help] Tiredness...
/u/hayzilla
Created: Sun Jan 24 14:57:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42hzp9/tiredness/
---
Does anyone else get ridiculously tired when restricting? Any tips to stop this if so? Have had a lot of black coffee today & still can barely keep my eyes open šŸ˜“

[Help] Help with my disgusting legs?
/u/litttlelady [5'9 | 115 | 16.7 | -20 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 14:19:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42hszk/help_with_my_disgusting_legs/
---
So I've been anorexic for a long time, but recently I've been having tendencies of exercise bulimia. My favourite way to purge all the gross, evil calories from my body is to run. A long, intense run always makes me feel so strong and pure. The problem is my legs are really bulky from muscle, especially compared to the rest of my body. I've been eating under calorie maintenance to avoid getting bigger, but I still hate my legs. Anyone else in this situation have any advice for me?

What's the fastest you've ever lost weight and how'd you do it?
/u/smile_wide_today
Created: Sun Jan 24 13:20:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42hj2t/whats_the_fastest_youve_ever_lost_weight_and_howd/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Shmegeh: legs for daysssss
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 12:34:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42hb13/shmegeh_legs_for_daysssss/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryhh4iTYxV4

[Rant] Change in routine
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 12:30:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42hae1/change_in_routine/
---
I'm a huge creature of habit. I love my routine and it freaks me out when I have to change it.

I have to change my routine for the next 2 weeks and I'm really worried. My mom is on a 2 week trip. Since I'm not mentally/physically healthy enough to be to left alone my brother is staying with me.

Normally I'm home alone from 8 am to 5 pm, when my mom is at work. But my brother works the evening shift, so I'll be home alone from 3 pm to 11 pm.

I'm really worried that it'll increase my binging because I'm usually an evening binger and if I'm alone all evening I might binge more often.

I hate changes in my routine, I'm so worried about the next 2 weeks.

I also started a fast because my binging is out of control. Hopefully this will restart my self control around food and help me restrict and lose weight. I have no idea how long I'll go, hopefully as long as possible.

[Rant] Minor binge, major gain. What gives?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 24 12:06:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42h67y/minor_binge_major_gain_what_gives/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Finally I'm under 110!
/u/Mi_ra [5'5| 105,4 | 17.75 | 9,2 F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 11:32:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42h0bo/finally_im_under_110/
---
For about a month I've been about 110 lbs, sometimes even 111-114 because I've been binging and purging so much - now I really can see how purging doesn't get rid of calories as well as I would like...

But I just weighed myself and the scale showed 108,9. Now, I know it's just a little bit under 110 and it can easily fluctuate back to over 110, but this still feels good. It's been more than a year since I've last seen numbers under 110. I hope this will motivate me not to binge and purge so much.

[Tip] Check out r/amifat -- their negative body talk always puts me in a good mood to restrict....
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 11:26:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42gzao/check_out_ramifat_their_negative_body_talk_always/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/amifat

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 24, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 24 09:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42gdc6/daily_food_diary_january_24_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 24, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Goal] Reasons
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | CW 71.5kg | UGW 52kg | -2.5kg | F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 07:43:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42g2yt/reasons/
---
I want to look good in clothing. I want to be able to wear oversized knitted cardigans, I want to be able to wear shorts without stockings, crop-tops with jeans.
I want to wear clothing that I've thrown out in the past because it makes me look unflattering.

I want to feel cooler in the summer. I'm sick of my cheeks being flustered because I get so warm easily. I blush when I'm in public because I'm afraid of peoples' gaze.

When I look in the mirror, I would like my face to look beautiful at every angle.

When I stand up from the piano, I want the pattern of my butt left on the seat to be smaller.

I want to have the 24" waist my mother did at my age.

I want my brother to feel guilty for the things he said to me when I was only 7 years old.

I want to feel tiny, I want my appearance to reflect my soul. I was meant to be thin.


[Thinspo] A thinspo album for our guys
/u/thininsp
Created: Sun Jan 24 07:42:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42g2vu/a_thinspo_album_for_our_guys/
---
http://imgur.com/a/6lBlK

[Rant] Feeling awful.
/u/bitsybones [5'2 | 140 | 25.6 | 137 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 07:33:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42g1rt/feeling_awful/
---
I'm on mobile, so I can't flair the post right now. I'm feeling pretty low and terrible about myself. I celebrated my 22nd birthday last week and I lost all control over my eating. I binged all week on cake, chocolate, and ice cream. I feel like I blacked out and just ate everything I came in contact with. I stepped on the scale this morning and I'm up 10 pounds. I feel so obese and disgusting I can't even focus on my work right now and I feel like I'm going to burst into tears any minute. I'm doing intermittent fasting again and I'm sticking to protein shakes over the next few days to see if it'll make a difference. Ugh.

[Help] Any advice?
/u/Droppdtabl [5'2" | 122lbs | 23 | Nada | F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 05:16:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42fo30/any_advice/
---
My friend is hosting a get together and an assortment of my friends will be there.

Which sounds completely a-ok, until I get to the part where the entire theme of the get together is making and eating pasta based foodstuffs.

I'm panicking a little because I've just realised it's overmorrow and there is now way in oblivion I'm getting away with eating nothing (or even a small portion). And I'm panicking a lot because I'm certain I'll binge.

Is there anything I can do that would help at all in any way.
Today has been just under 800 because I completely forgot about this whole fiasco.

[Discussion] How does hydration affect weight loss?
/u/verdantveins [5"8 | CW 71.5kg | UGW 52kg | -2.5kg | F]
Created: Sun Jan 24 04:51:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42fm1f/how_does_hydration_affect_weight_loss/
---
I know that the weight I'm at is because of how many calories I eat a day.. but how does hydration affect your body? Does being dehydrated determine somewhat of your metabolism? I've been dehydrated for years, and have gone for days without drinking water. I'm beginning to drink 1.5 litres a day. I don't mean appetite, I mean your body's "chemistry".

Sorry if this is a common question, but I searched the sub and couldn't find this exact question.

Do any of you believe that drinking water has aided you in weight loss?

[Discussion] What triggers you to restrict even more?
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 23:45:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ey1z/what_triggers_you_to_restrict_even_more/
---
I'm feeling very detached from my thoughts and actions lately. It's like nothing really matters anymore. I can't see much physical changes in my appearance, I don't have a scale so any progress i make could easily be unnoticed/undone with my frequent bingeing episodes. It's all becoming this big blur; my body image is seriously distorted and it is affecting my life. I don't see much wrong in eating untill I burst - yet I can't imagine myself being overweight. I need to put a definite line between my inner and outer world. I think that I am the most sane when restricting;
so I was wondering, **what triggers you to restrict? How is indulging in food unacceptable to you? How do you keep yourself in control?**

[Discussion] How do you guys drink your coffee?
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Sat Jan 23 23:02:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42etir/how_do_you_guys_drink_your_coffee/
---
I put Equal and half and half in mine. I'm probably the only one but I can't stand black coffee. It's too bitter for me. :( Need my sweeteners.

[Rant] It has been a rough couple days of fasting but I am making progress I think...
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Sat Jan 23 21:09:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42efzr/it_has_been_a_rough_couple_days_of_fasting_but_i/
---
I fasted from this past monday to friday night (almost four whole days) on nothing but coffee and diet coke and caffeine pills. I fasted again today. After having a rough week the week before this last I am back down to one of my lower weights. I am convinced that I will get below 160 this time. I always seem to binge and fuck up around this time so I hope I can stay on this steady decline..

I dream of the day I can wake up and see 140 on the scale but for now I will take the small victories like undoing all the binging from over a week ago. I wasn't able to make it to the gym last week outside of one day so I may try restricting a little bit so I actually have calories to burn at the gym.

I am not sure how much weight has actually been lost. The scale says 10 pounds lighter than I was though I am not sure how much is fat, muscle, water weight and a lack of food in my system. I ate a couple huge helpings of stir fry last night and they didn't tip the scale over so i consider that a victory.

Hoping to keep this going. wish me luck.

[Discussion] Posting for accountability
/u/InItTLoseIt [5' 7" | 194.2 | 30.31 | -26.4 lbs | Femme nb]
Created: Sat Jan 23 20:13:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42e8t4/discussion_posting_for_accountability/
---
Really wanted to binge hard tonight. I made a pan of brownies and a Red Baron pizza and going to pig out while my partner was at work.

I had 1/4 of the pizza and a can of Diet Coke. And then I was full. I'd easily eat twice that amount for dinner on a regular basis before I came here.

I'll be updating my daily food diary, but I'm just surprised that I'll stay within my calorie goal today after freaking out about a binge.

I'm on my phone right now, so I won't be able to flair the post for a while.

[Discussion] Wrist Measurement and Frame Size?
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 18:52:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42dy8o/wrist_measurement_and_frame_size/
---
Ok, so I've seen those things online where you measure your wrist and from that determine your 'frame size'.

So, I measured my wrist. It's 6.5 inches. That means, according to the charts, that I have a big frame. Ok...

But when I put my hand around my wrist, my fingers more than touch, which some places say indicates a small frame size.

So are my fingers just really long? Or maybe is 'frame size' just kinda crap?

I don't know that knowing my 'frame size' would change anything about my goals, but I'm just confused and wondering if anyone here has any thoughts.

[Goal] Trying again... new plan
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 57.4kg | 21.1 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 17:20:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42dku0/trying_again_new_plan/
---
So I'm not starting ED therapy for a couple of weeks, but I cannot keep wasting all my money and getting fat on b/p. To make myself feel better, I have come up with a new 'plan' which may or may not work.

Monday: fast
Tuesday: 1200 calories
Wednesday: 1200 calories
Thursday: fast
Friday: 1200 calories
Saturday and Sunday: b/p

Baby steps, I guess. I hate that I can't handle fasting without lots of drugs (which I don't have any more) and I keep getting into the same cycle of 'I'll definitely fast today' which ends in 'I can't do this, gonna eat everything in sight and start again tomorrow.'

The scariest part of this is the thought of deliberately eating 1200 calories in a day and not purging.

[Help] I don't think I can do recovery anymore
/u/Banshee__Queen [5'2" | 94.6 | 17.50 | -0.4 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 15:56:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42d7pg/i_dont_think_i_can_do_recovery_anymore/
---
All in the title. I know I've only been in 'recovery' for a month but I feel worse than I ever have. I feel sick eating so much, then having to eat more in order to gain weight. At the same time, I don't want to go back to only eating 300 calories a day. I've abused my body so much, not just with food, and it's so weak I feel restricting as much as I used to would damage me permanently. But I don't want to do 'recovery' anymore. I'm not sure what I'm asking for. Certainly not for recovery advice, but... I don't know. Just if anyone else is feeling the way I do right now.

[Discussion] Hey, I'm a guy
/u/Lupish_Ah [6'1 130 18.0 -7 M]
Created: Sat Jan 23 14:25:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42ct4w/hey_im_a_guy/
---
I've been on this sub for a couple of weeks and am wondering how gendered you guys feel eating disorders are. As the title says, I'm a guy, but I was wondering how many other guys there are on this sub, and how you guys feel about the genders of EDs

[Discussion] An Overdue Introduction
/u/willow_wisp [5'3" | 125.5 | 22.85 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 12:31:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42caov/an_overdue_introduction/
---
Good afternoon lovelies,

Like so many others, I've been lurking here for awhile but just got up the courage to post. I created a new username for this sub, as my husband knows my other one.

A little bit about myself: I'm considerably older than many of you here. I've struggled with my relationship between food and self-esteem for my entire life. My mother has been overweight as far back as I can remember, and my father, when he was alive, was overweight for most of his young adult life. Looking back, I can now say that he displayed hallmarks of anorexia before he died, so I had some mixed messages about how normal people dealt with food growing up. It literally was either all or nothing.

I grew up an active child, and learned that it was ok to binge (from mom) and when you felt too fat, you just stopped eating until you lost the weight (from dad). I've never been officially diagnosed with any ED. I will die before I tell anyone how I feel about myself.

I am married to a wonderful man who, thankfully, works most of the day and evening so I can get away with indulging my habits 5 days out of the week, though it's only recently that I've decided to give in again. I am currently restricting to around 800 calories a day. Since I teach, it's imperative that I'm able to function during the school day, so I can't go much lower other than the weekends.

Another poster recently made a nearly identical introduction and that gave me the courage to reach out to all of you lovelies. If you want to know any more about me, feel free to ask.

I will post a small personal victory: I teach high schoolers. I promised myself no new clothes until I lost weight. As of yesterday, I've lost 10 pounds from my highest weight, so I treated myself to a new shirt from a store that's oddly obsessed with one woman's secret. ;) I saw one of my students wearing the same shirt to class, and mine was definitely a smaller size. So yay I guess?

[Rant] Binged for the first time. I hate myself, but I think I've found my way again.
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Sat Jan 23 12:03:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42c630/binged_for_the_first_time_i_hate_myself_but_i/
---
I'd been "restricting" down to 1400 calories per day with at least 2 hours of cardio per day since the beginning of December. I slipped up slightly for New Years, but recovered quickly. But these past few days I've been eating 3000+ calories per day. I hate myself so much, and now I just keep craving sugary foods...

This is all caused by several factors: I've been trying to get into shape for a cosplay, but when I told my close friends last weekend they didn't believe I could do it. Their opinion means a lot to me, and I can't understand why they didn't see that their unsupportive comments would hurt me. So between my goal being bashed and working a temp job that has LOTS of candy available I totally wrecked my diet...

Yesterday I called it quits on the binge, ordered the cosplay (my friends be damned) and and mentally prepared to count my calories closely and hit the gym hard again!

Thanks for reading my rant :) Advice on what to do about unsupportive friends would be most appreciated.

[Tip] Snack Tip of the Day! 16oz, sugar and ( mostly ) calorie free, and 11mg of caffeine per 1oz! On sale at Kroger stores for under $2.00. Great way to start your day, without the guilt.
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 11:08:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42bx2i/snack_tip_of_the_day_16oz_sugar_and_mostly/
---
http://imgur.com/LHjTf6D

[Help] Not losing weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 23 10:42:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42bsxl/not_losing_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Help] What is your favorite/fastest working exercise routine?
/u/lemew_lepurr [5'2|116 |21.2 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 10:30:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42bqvy/what_is_your_favoritefastest_working_exercise/
---
I've been doing an hour of hard cardio a day plus crunches, staying below 700 cals or fasting, and I gained 3 pounds with no visible change in the flubby bits. I must be doing something wrong. What are your favorite ways to exercise, that you have seen work?

[Help] I just dont want to eat and idk why?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Sat Jan 23 10:16:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42boq1/i_just_dont_want_to_eat_and_idk_why/
---
I have 450 calories left for today (out of my 700 restriction) and i'm starving, really hungry :( but for some reason i just dont want to eat, its not that id feel guilty, or that i cant eat because ive already reached my calorie count, or that im full, but i just dont want to eat!? Does anyone else get this?

Eugenia Cooney Clothing Haul
/u/Space-Punk
Created: Sat Jan 23 09:36:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42bif8/eugenia_cooney_clothing_haul/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syepFZ9JA_k

Unusual question... about mattresses
/u/LilyMae91 [5'7 | 109.5 | 17.1 | 20 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 09:21:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42bg64/unusual_question_about_mattresses/
---
Hey guys,

So I have the opportunity to buy a new mattress and I was wondering how you felt about yours. At the moment my bmi is about 17.5 or so and I find it hard to get to sleep as my hips dig in.

I was considering buying a memory foam one, and wondered if you had any feedback/preferences/recommendations?

xo

[Goal] Saturday Fast!!
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 156lbs | 24 | - 24 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 09:02:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42bddz/saturday_fast/
---
Who else is starting their weekend on a fast?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 23, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 23 09:02:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42bdam/daily_food_diary_january_23_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 23, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to update the [Leaderboards](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php) with your calorie counts and binges!


[Tip] I don't know if this will help anyone, but it helps me lose weight steadily and (kinda) not so dangerously.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 23 07:23:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42azyi/i_dont_know_if_this_will_help_anyone_but_it_helps/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Forcing myself to eat after tonsillectomy.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 23 06:26:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42atsh/forcing_myself_to_eat_after_tonsillectomy/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Went out for dinner with friends last night and didn't overeat!
/u/rainingdeath [1.77m | 58.3 kg | 18.18 | -17.7 kg | F]
Created: Sat Jan 23 05:17:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42an2e/went_out_for_dinner_with_friends_last_night_and/
---
I feel so proud of myself. I had a salad with some grilled chicken and a mustard-based dressing while everyone else was having carby pizzas and pastas, and I had tea when the others were having some kind of Bailey's cookie/banana trifle dessert. And when we hung out afterwards and everyone was gorging on booze and crisps, I just had some tea and I didn't even feel like I was craving anything else!

This is a huge deal for me, because free food like crisps at parties, and also eating outside the door have both always been major weaknesses of mine and I finally overcame it. :) And to top it all off, the scale this morning read 59.1 kg (130lbs). I've been hovering between 60 and 61 for ages, and getting below 60 has been a longtime goal for me, so I'm over the moon!

I'm really happy with how my progress is coming along, so I just wanted to share!

My next challenge will be going on a date today for coffee/tea and cake. I had a super lowcal, super high-fibre breakfast, so it should still fit in my food schedule. And then tomorrow I will be visiting my parents and having dinner with them, and the day after that I'm going out for all you can eat sushi with a friend. So there's some challenges coming up, but hopefully reaching this goal weight keeps me motivated enough to keep it up. :)

[Discussion] Tmi, binge farts?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 20:28:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4295re/tmi_binge_farts/
---
This is kind of tmi (sorry), but when I binge I get really bad gas and it's super stinky. Like the worst smelling farts ever and the smell stays for a really long time. I was wondering if anyone else had that happen to them after a binge

Accountability Buddy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 22 20:21:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4294ql/accountability_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Rant] I'm such a loser
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 19:09:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/428uxr/im_such_a_loser/
---
I'm sad for no reason. I didn't binge, but I feel like I'll never be thin. I always fuck up. Even if I become thin, I don't think it would make me happy.

I'm such a loser. I have no discipline and no motivation. I don't have what it takes to be successful in life. I'm so fucking stupid too. I don't have good ideas, nothing I say is of value, my opinion is meaningless and merely reflects the popular opinion, and everything I say is vapid and stupid and uninteresting.

I just want to be normal. I was never normal, not in school, and in college, I'm a mediocre loser who will probably never get hired. I was ambitious before this. I had dreams about doing great things that would make a difference to people. I was excited about technology and biotech. But I'm nothing. I'm shit. I'm ugly and fat and stupid and emotional and selfish. Sometimes, I really wish I never existed.

Thanks everyone for the kinds words <3

[Discussion] Broke my resolution. Should I even feel bad?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -19 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 16:24:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4287jr/broke_my_resolution_should_i_even_feel_bad/
---
Hey everyone,

My new year's resolution was not to purge in 2016. I could binge, I could over-exercise, I could make any other mistake, I just wasn't allowed to purge.

Well, I made it a whole 22 days, probably more like 30 if we're counting the time before the new year. The only reason I let myself do it is because tonight is Winter Formal, and my dress is paper on the wall. I ate what I planned to for lunch, it couldn't have been more than 500 calories max, but I felt like it made me look huge, so, well, yea.

This totally counts as breaking my new year's resolution, that much is certain. But should I feel bad about it? On one hand, I failed at meeting a goal I set for myself, but on the other hand, tonight is a special occasion, and I feel confident that I can do better in the future.

[Discussion] Where do you guys find clothes small enough?
/u/Wantminime [5'1 | 148 lbs | 29.2 | -32 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 16:17:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4286hl/where_do_you_guys_find_clothes_small_enough/
---
I'm only down 25 pounds, but I've already gone from a size 12/14 to a 4/6 (L/XL to a S). Which is dandy, but I still have 55 more pounds to lose! At this rate, in going to run out of sizes like whoa.
I'm short enough to wear kids' clothes, but they're not as fashionable or sexy as I like. Ordering from China is also kind of eh because I have a huge bust. Where do you guys find clothes?

[Goal] The impending snow storm in my city is really messing with my head. But I've made a choice.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 15:21:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/427xoi/the_impending_snow_storm_in_my_city_is_really/
---
So I'm basically confined to my house from now until I work on Sunday (if work isn't canceled). The mayor issued a state of emergency for my city and basically everything is shut down. I've been anxious all day because my head is screaming "eat whatever! no one will see you for a couple days. get cozy and get comfort food and watch movies and light candles and yumyumyum blahblahblah". On top of this, my mom made a ton of food "for the storm" including a HUGE pot of buttery pasta and a giant thick loaf of home-made bread.

I'm making a choice right now. And I'm making it right here so I can feel the support of all of you. I'm going to use these two potential binge days to avoid temptation and practice self-control. I am going to drink water, tea, and coffee. I am going to eat nutritious foods when I get unbearably hungry (my fruits, veggies, and yogurt). I am going to keep up with my vitamins. I am going to treat myself by engaging in a "spa night". Pedicure, manicure, long bath, good book, and candles. I'm not going to give into my urge to "cozy binge". I COULD binge because "no one will see me and I have no obligations for the next couple of days" OR I could restrict because no one will see me and I have no responsibilities. I choose the latter. I have until 9pm tonight until the storm starts. I am eating an apple right now and then I am going to go to the gym and kick-off this weekend of "cleanliness" with an hour of cardio. I am going to wake up, smoke a bowl, and take a long long long walk in the snow tomorrow. It will be quiet and beautiful and it will be a great workout. I am going to rise above the desire to let myself go. I'm going to wake up on Sunday with pride. I'm NOT going to eat the bread. I'm NOT going to eat a single noodle. I'm NOT going to binge. I am strong, I am clean, I have an opportunity in front of me and I'm excited about it.

Anyone with me? Anyone else in the path of this epic snowstorm? And if you aren't in it's path, feel like pledging to a weekend of cleanliness anyway?

Thank you <3 I love you all so so so so so much more than you could ever understand.

[Discussion] FastFriday
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 112.6 | 16.97 | -32 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 14:08:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/427lb5/fastfriday/
---
Didn't see a post about this yet. I binged really hard last night and I'm trying to fast today. It's tough already, I'm chugging water but I'm hungover and my belly is gnawing at me. Anyone else fasting today?

[Goal] I bought a food scale!
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 156lbs | 24 | - 24 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 13:33:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/427fan/i_bought_a_food_scale/
---
It's cute and small and I'm going to be able to carry it with me to work and home! I'm sure excited to more accurately measure and log my foods. I have a 2 oz measuring cup I take with me and a set of measuring cups in my desk, but it doesn't work for solid food like a scale will.

I'm so excited! It'll be here in 2 days.

[Discussion] Becoming too thin from a social/societal viewpoint
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Fri Jan 22 13:06:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/427ap7/becoming_too_thin_from_a_socialsocietal_viewpoint/
---
So...I don't want to eat at all these last several days and with my EC stack dosage adjustment working amazingly well, I am dropping the weight again so easily.

It frightens me. I have all these goals and I can achieve them with the right mindset but what if I am doing the wrong thing?

People look at me. I went to a wedding last night and I was the thinnest there, drinking black coffee and eating egg whites...

I notice the looks...

I want to be somebody in the future, with a doctorate and provide a helpful service to the community, but will I be hired if I look like a skeleton?

Will my co-workers or boss treat me different if I lose yet another 10 lbs?

Have any of you experienced social repercussions from being so thin?




My Body Gallery: this is a SFW (underwear/bikinis, but I haven't seen any nudity) website where you can look up submitted pictures of women based on age, weight, height, etc.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 22 12:58:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4279fh/my_body_gallery_this_is_a_sfw_underwearbikinis/
---
http://www.mybodygallery.com

[Rant] My family is actually trying to sabotage my weight loss.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 12:57:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42797e/my_family_is_actually_trying_to_sabotage_my/
---
I don't talk about my weight or health with my family. I'm a very private person and shirk off any comments on my appearance whether negative or positive.

My family is always trying to lose weight. My grandmother spent so many years with fake diet food that she caused kidney damage and is on dialysis three days per week. My uncle has gastric bypass and still ended up heavier. My mother picked up running, but still overeats.

Lately my mother has been buying junk food that only I like. I do my own grocery shopping and take care of myself. But she buys things and leaves them in the open and will keep moving them around so they're always visible. When I've asked her not to buy things like that, she just says don't eat them and she can buy 'whatever the fuck she wants'.

I feel like I'm being neurotic, but I'm not sure.

Side note: Can anyone fucking find jeans that aren't stretchy anymore? Every damn pair of jeans I try to find are practically jeggings.

[Rant] Weirdest body shape
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 155 | 24.2 | -30 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 12:28:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4274f3/weirdest_body_shape/
---
My body type frustrates me so much. I'm pretty sure I have an hourglass shape. Right now my measurements are 37-29-38, but I don't think I fit the description very well. I carry all my weight in my arms, back and stomach. My legs are the skinniest part of my body, like there's barely any fat on them. I weigh 155 pounds and I have a pronounced thigh gap, but I literally have no ass. I feel like so oddly shaped and it's so depressing. I just want to have a small bra band size, but I feel like even if I lost 50 pounds, I'd still never get down to a 32 or smaller.

[Rant] Feel a binge coming
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 12:13:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4271w1/feel_a_binge_coming/
---
I'm doing great, 13 days without a binge and without carbs, 22 days without sugar and on my lowest weight in 4 years. But I feel like eating everything right now, especially carbs. I feel like I can't hold off any longer, but I really don't want to ruin my progress right now. I tried eating some small snack tomatoes we had, but it haven't helpen at all. I just hope I can distract myself until bedtime and hopefully my boyfriend is sick tomorrow, so we don't have to go to the city where all the food is. I just want this feeling to go away.

[Discussion] Is this weird, or no?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW: 124.6 GW: 105 | BMI 23.5 | Female]
Created: Fri Jan 22 10:28:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/426juy/is_this_weird_or_no/
---
I hate my boyfriend looking at porn. And everytime I see it on his phone or something, I'll just get really pissed and stop eating, and it really helps me restrict. Partly because I want to look like the girls he looks at. And also almost to get back at him, because he gets really worried when I don't eat. Is this weird? Has anyone felt anything similar?

[Discussion] Constipation when restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 22 09:29:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4269rm/constipation_when_restricting/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Help!
/u/wailwriter [5'9" | 149.6 | 21.69 | -12 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 09:24:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42691a/help/
---
[removed]

[Rant] Anyone else have a body part they like LESS as they lose weight?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 105.8 | 19.26 (new calculator) | -9.2 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 09:24:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4268xg/anyone_else_have_a_body_part_they_like_less_as/
---
The post the other day about non-scale progress was so inspiring but it also got me thinking about a couple things I think I'll NEVER be satisfied by, no matter how much I lose:

- my lower ribcage, it's like it's made of elephant bones. My upper chest looks nice and delicate but below my breasts the bones are beefy huge and the size of the cage itself is really big around, like I think I'll never look really small because of if. There's almost no fat left there to lose and now that I see the true shape I'm sad.

- my legs just in general, which are way fattier than the rest of me, but specifically their asymmetry. I have about a 1/4" difference in length which doesn't sound like a lot but is much more visible now with less fat to distract - my right kneecap and left hip are visibly higher than their partners. I think this is something I can work on with stretches but ARGH I didn't even know how bad it was until I lost weight.

It's so frustrating to work so hard and then hit walls you just can't budge...anyone else have advice on making peace w this crap or just commiseration?

[Help] My sister possibly developing an ED?
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 09:14:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4267a9/my_sister_possibly_developing_an_ed/
---
My sister is 11. I'm diagnosed bulimic, but I've been restricting successfully. No one in my family knows about it, but my sister is tall and she's a little taller than me now, and I've been losing weight so she's 10 lb lighter. She's skinny since she's 11, but she keeps talking about weight and weighing herself all the time and after she eats.

I feel like I'm causing it since I'm always working out and saying that I don't eat whatever food. I'm feel so bad if she develops an ED because of me, but I don't know what to do about it other than not engage in ED behavior in front of her.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 22 09:02:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42657r/daily_food_diary_january_22_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 22, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Rant] Its only 10:45 am....ugh
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW105|18.56|-33|F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 09:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/426562/its_only_1045_amugh/
---
So far I have had 433 calories. Its not even lunch yet... I had half my day of calories already because I only allow up to 850. I know 850 isn't that low but its low enough I lose weight and I don't have to stress too much. I realllly hope I do not go over, especially because I felt so thin when I woke up :c I don't feel bloated or anything but I feel a bit more full than I like :c thankfully I have some plans today which will help occupy my mind and get me to forget about food for a bit. This post is my promise that I will stay within my daily calories! I'm thinking dinner will be something like egg whites with spinach because I can make a decent amount of food for under or about 150 calories. Probably followed by a clementine for 35 because I crave sweet food after anything savory/salty. And maybe a piece of 35 calorie bread because I'm weak and I like bread too much. So thats about 653 calories? Which leaves me 200 calories for snacks which I will probably stuff my face with before bed like always :/

[Help] Frustrated
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 22 06:48:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/425lah/frustrated/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] SKINNY- spoken word
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Fri Jan 22 06:36:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/425jlz/skinny_spoken_word/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6n8TG5n45Y

[Goal] Binged a little but woke up at 4am with food poisoning
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 126lbs | BMI 19.67 | Weight Lost: 19.5lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Jan 22 05:41:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/425ctd/binged_a_little_but_woke_up_at_4am_with_food/
---
I'm torn between being delighted that I've still lost weight and crying in pain in the bathroom...

Oh, ED brain.

[Rant] I hate it when people get angry at me for wanting to eat healthier.
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Fri Jan 22 05:23:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/425al1/i_hate_it_when_people_get_angry_at_me_for_wanting/
---
Obviously they don't know about my eating disorder, because if they did it would make sense that they were freak out over the way I eat. But I have friends who I literally cant mention food around or they get defensive. If I refuse to get dessert because I say I want to eat healthier, people literally get angry at me and say I'm too skinny for that and shouldn't be doing it.

I had a giant plate of cheesy fries with one of my friends (I always binge around her too) and she got frustrated with me and said she was worried because it's weird that I *only* got that one thing even though it was 600 calories worth of food. Sure, her whole family is overweight so she's probably used to seeing people eat bigger portions, but that's not an excuse. She also said that by not getting myself a giant cookie and ice cream, I'm treating myself badly and hurting myself. Damn.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! January 22, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 22 05:02:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4258cr/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_january_22/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for January 22, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if he/she is banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] pleased with myself for a change
/u/Acquaesapone
Created: Fri Jan 22 04:27:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4254qt/pleased_with_myself_for_a_change/
---
The last three days I've been able to stick to 800 cals and work out for an hour. I know 800 is a lot compared to most of you but for me it's actually an accomplishment because I usually can't go under 1,000 when I run. I'm so excited and ready to finally get below 106 pounds.

I would love to hear some of your accomplishments to help motivate me!

[Help] How to avoid family dinner?
/u/YouMayRememberMe [5'5 | 104 lbs | 16.74 | 18F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 03:47:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4250ms/how_to_avoid_family_dinner/
---
I don't eat during the day, but every night my whole family insists we all sit down to eat. They can obviously tell I'm underweight but they have no idea why and I'd like to keep it that way.

Tips on how to handle it?

[Discussion] Anyone else have fat arms??
/u/dongledongs [5'5" | 135 lbs | GW 115 | 22.46 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 22 02:25:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/424t5l/anyone_else_have_fat_arms/
---
I've been restricting successfully (lots of trial an error this month) for about a week! Maybe unrelated to the question but I'm proud of my small victory!


Anyhow, I have an "hourglass" body type which is not as glamorous as it sounds: HUGE arms, tiny waist, HUGE thighs. I am so self conscious about my arms. I can never wear shirts that are shorter than elbow-length. They're just enormous and they jiggle sooo much. I used to be 60 pounds heavier when I was 16, and lost it in about a year from restricting, but I still have these fat fucking arms.


I'm so happy after barely eating today. It was my brother's birthday so I had to have cake, and I'm mad about that, but I'm still eating WAY less than I used to. Can't wait to lose the saggy, fat arms, but I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this? I always notice how thin everyone's arms are in comparison to mine and I always feel like a fat freak no matter how thin my waist is. Not to mention I have broad shoulders and small boobs, fuck. I can't wait for all of me to be small. Thanks for listening.

[Help] depressed when restricting?
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Fri Jan 22 02:02:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/424sby/depressed_when_restricting/
---
my mood has been really bad recently. any vitamins that help this?


[Discussion] What's the lowest restriction you've done for a month?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 21 23:34:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/424d4q/whats_the_lowest_restriction_youve_done_for_a/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] 6th day of fasting complete! I avoided food at a restaurant tonight.
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 120.4 lbs | 22 | -11.2 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 22:22:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4244in/6th_day_of_fasting_complete_i_avoided_food_at_a/
---
Just wanted to post because I'm excited about it. Tonight I graduated the fire academy and afterwards my family wanted to go out to a restaurant to celebrate. and I didn't give in just because we went out! all I had was a soda, not diet but whatever just glad I had the willpower. I also tried on this stomach slimmer that I wanted to wear with my dept uniform, that sucked in my stomach great for me 10 pounds ago. Tonight when I tried it on, it did absolutely nothing for me! There was no need to wear it because it fit around my body perfectly with no tightness since I guess some of that 10 pounds was lost around my waist. woohoo! I can't wait to keep going with this fast. I know I'll make it through tomorrow for the 7th day but I still want to go longer. I think I can do it!

[Rant] I thought I was ready
/u/ikillsouls
Created: Thu Jan 21 22:08:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4242uk/i_thought_i_was_ready/
---
Hey y'all I'm back. I've posted only a couple of times here, I mostly lurked.
Anyway, a couple months ago I started seeing a therapist and after a few sessions I told her about how I was relapsing into my ed. After I told her she wouldn't shut up about it. I had other shit to talk about but she would just bring it back to my eating habits.
I came in one day and she told me how she'd set up a meeting for me with a nutritionist. I thought about it for a couple days and thought, hey maybe I'm ready to recover.
After a couple sessions though I realized how condescending my therapist was and I became incredibly annoyed everytime she spoke.
Long story short I had a really bad binge day and realized I didn't want to recover, because I'm still a fucking whale. So I cancelled the appointment and here I am again.
I want to go back on track to lose again. I have been maintaining at 105 for a few weeks. I want to start losing again.

Sorry for the long intro, just felt like I needed to say it in order to actually start getting back on track.

[Rant] Why can't the scale just go down everyday
/u/afattersideofme [5'4 | 203 lbs | 35.1 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 22:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42422w/why_cant_the_scale_just_go_down_everyday/
---
Yesterday I was pleased with myself coming off of a 30+ hour fast and then only having 523 cals and I weighed myself and was at 194.4 which is way further down than I had started at....but today restricted all day bar 21 cals all liquid and I'm at 195.5 :( ughhh I even walked a brisk 15 min mile both days. Now I've already binged on 250 cals and I just want more.... I feel like a failure. I was proud and thought I'd lose at least .1 but gaining sucks :(

[Discussion] Why I find comfort in this community
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Thu Jan 21 21:56:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42418q/why_i_find_comfort_in_this_community/
---
I found an archived post asking why a person liked this community and I want to answer. Growing up, I remember the day I was told that being skinny was sinful (my mother is Catholic). I was six. Everyone in my family was obese, so I didn't want to be the only one who didn't belong. So I grew up feeling the thin person inside me suffocate under my families massive dinners and judgment. My life had been based on depression, a suicide attempt, alcoholism, and overall avoiding mirrors. When I left college, I finally got my mother to admit that she had lied to me. Being thin was not sinful, and the only reason she told a six-year old child this lie was because she "didn't want to deal with a child with an eating disorder". I was lost. My whole life was ruined! Once again, the thin woman in me struggled and cried. And then I found this community. There are women here who are inspiring! You all are leading your own journeys and your own dreams of attaining your dream bodies. I am proud of this community because you all are so supportive, and I am inspired by you every day. Thank you!

[Rant] I want to achieve my perfection
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 21 21:55:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42415x/i_want_to_achieve_my_perfection/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Shitty ED Confession Time!
/u/astr0zombie [5'7 | 140.6 lbs| 21.9 | -19.4lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 21:51:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4240nm/shitty_ed_confession_time/
---
I actually like when my boyfriend works late sometimes because then we don't have to argue about dinner. I don't have to compromise, I don't have to find clever ways to get away with not eating or making it look like I've eaten. He comes home, dinner is done and being kept warm, the house is clean and our son and I have already eaten and all is well.

I get thoughts like this often that make me think "wow you're fucked up" if I dwell on it too much. Anyone else have shitty ED thoughts? I probably phrased that weird.

[Help] Losing Weight whilst on Antidepressants
/u/inspectordata
Created: Thu Jan 21 21:36:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/423ynf/losing_weight_whilst_on_antidepressants/
---
[removed]

[Tip] Added Galleries to the Site!
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 20:47:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/423rsi/added_galleries_to_the_site/
---
I've added galleries to the site! You can view your gallery in the "View Gallery" link under your username and above your stats.

My idea for this was to create a gallery of progress pictures. Because of that, there are options to specify date and specify weight. You can also post the picture to your status and that will appear as if it were your status. You can delete the pictures as well.

As far as I know, the galleries work, but it's definitely possible that I've missed something, so pretty please tell me about any bugs.

I will get on with the weight predictions and other charts soon. Hope you all like this update. Thanks for using the site!

[Here's my gallery as a demo (NSFW stomach fat, underwear, bra)](http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php?id=11&who=1)

[Rant] "OMG you look like you lost 5 billion pounds! How did you do it, did you starve yourself?"
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Jan 21 20:37:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/423qf1/omg_you_look_like_you_lost_5_billion_pounds_how/
---
Is exactly what a friend said to me today. I've been waiting for people to start to notice my weight loss, but I wasn't expecting that. I mean, who the everloving fuck would think to say something like that???

[Thinspo] Phone wallpapers/backgrounds?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 20:09:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/423mj8/phone_wallpapersbackgrounds/
---
I'm looking for some thinspo wallpapers for my phone, that aren't nsfw (don't really want my manager peering over my shoulder and seeing boobies on my screen!). Anyone have some they could share?

[Rant] The fat song
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 21 20:03:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/423lk3/the_fat_song/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Introduction
/u/lance-moi14 [153cm | (UN. 120?) | 24.9 last checked | ~7lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 19:50:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/423jpc/introduction/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Exercise or no?
/u/yakeiram
Created: Thu Jan 21 19:15:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/423ehr/exercise_or_no/
---
Do you more experienced proed'ers think it's more effective to eat 1100 calories a day (for example) and not work out, or to eat 1400 and burn 300? Or would they produce the same weight loss?

I legitimately enjoy working out (and eating) so I generally try to run several miles per day. However, when I restrict even to 1200 or 1100, I find I am so tired that running is hard. So which option do you guys find better?

[Help] I keep bingeing :(
/u/shangen010 [Height:5' | CW:108/GW:90 | BMI:22.1 | Weight Lost:0 | Gender:F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 17:42:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4230n7/i_keep_bingeing/
---
I keep bingeing on nuts like cashews, almonds, pistachios. They're like popcorn; so small, salty and they seem like they'd be just a few calories....until they all add up. OTL

I've read about fasting, but I have no idea on how it works. Do you eat nothing for a few days and only drink tea/water? Or can you add in maybe <100 calories? I want to try it and see if can help me but I dunno where to start.

[Goal] My pedometer app let me know I wasn't doing enough to reach my goal weight, so I did something about it.
/u/_skellies
Created: Thu Jan 21 17:30:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/422yra/my_pedometer_app_let_me_know_i_wasnt_doing_enough/
---
I decided to do some light jogging for a while. I ended up jogging/sprinting for 40 minutes, speed walking for around 20, running/jogging in place for 20 minutes, running up and down my steep staircase 6 times (until my legs just couldn't do it anymore), and regular walking for about 10-15.

I've been pretty much sedentary for the past two months so I didn't plan or even expect to be able to do so much, but every time i stopped to start cooling down, I decided I could do more and did.

My pedometer reads that I burned 263 calories after 3.7 miles, but I don't believe it's accurate since it only measures walking and jogging burns 26% more. Either way, I've got a major caloric deficit going for me today, as I've been only consumed about about 40 calories today (390 total since Monday).

I'm feeling super proud of myself! :D

[Discussion] Water only diet taking vitamins only?
/u/SanScythe [184 cm |283 lbs | 36.34 | M]
Created: Thu Jan 21 17:02:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/422ulg/water_only_diet_taking_vitamins_only/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] binging on salads and fruit?
/u/skinnyb0y [5Ā“8 | 112 | 16,84 | -21lbs | male]
Created: Thu Jan 21 16:56:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/422tpe/binging_on_salads_and_fruit/
---
i donĀ“t know if it counts as binging but i was trying to eat half of what my grandma served it was a really variated sallad and i ate it all, i donĀ“t take desserts usually but she served me fruits, i thought i could control my self and eat only one, but i ate three

i know itĀ“s healthy food by i would still consider it a binge, even if i donĀ“t feel very guilty, would you consider it a binge?

[Goal] I went grocery shopping.
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 16:28:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/422pbx/i_went_grocery_shopping/
---
Posting here for accountability. I'm pretty happy with how things went, I didn't cave and buy any chips or candy. My biggest 'splurge' is the freeze-dried pineapple and the flavored rice crisps. I also bought a new container for my lunch box. It's divided into two 6 oz containers. This will keep a physical restriction on what I pack to work/school.

A couple things could have definitely been altered, but this was a good fit for me and my diet.

[Shopping cart here](http://i.imgur.com/Y1vJ58x.jpg)

**Drinks:**

* Gatorade: 80cal / 12 oz
* V8 Original: 30cal / 5.5 oz
* V8 Healthy Greens: 60cal / 8 oz

**Protein:**

* Johnsonville Italian Sausage: 260cal / link
* Starkist Canned Tuna: 100cal / can
* Hickman's Eggs: 70cal / egg

**Dairy:**

* Daisy Cottage Cheese: 110cal / .5 cup
* Laughing Cow Mozzarella w/ sun-dried tomato and basil: 35cal / wedge
* Tillamook Vanilla Greek Yogurt: 140cal / container

**Veggies:**

* Celery: 7 / 8" stalk
* Sugar Snap Peas: 35 / cup
* White Mushrooms: 15 / cup

**Snacks:**

* Nature's All Freeze-dried Pineapple: 65 / .35 oz
* Quaker Rice Cakes: 35 / cake
* Quaker Cheddar Cheese Rice Crisps: 130 / 18 mini cakes
* Quaker Caramel Corn Rice Crisps: 110 / 13 mini cakes

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] 5'7" 154 to 111 to 120 lbs (270 days)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 15:42:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/422hnu/thinspo_57_154_to_111_to_120_lbs_270_days/
---
http://imgur.com/a/g3O5K

[Discussion] How do you feel about calorie-free sugar substitutes? They satisfy my sweet tooth, but I feel guilty for giving in to my cravings.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 21 15:24:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/422eog/how_do_you_feel_about_caloriefree_sugar/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I need to stop binging!
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 14:55:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4229vz/i_need_to_stop_binging/
---
I keep binging these days. I don't know why. I think it's partially because of depression and boredom, but I need to stop this. I binged so badly today. Cheese, bread, about half a jar of peanut butter, chocolate, cookies. Urg, I am so disgusting. I'm definitely taking a laxative today to get rid of this.

I just bought some binge food, I want to eat it, but I feel so sick already. I don't know what to do with it.

I'm definitely starting an EC stack tomorrow. I'm going to try to go a week without binging, this post is my way to put that goal out in the world which will hopefully keep me accountable.

[Help] Bronkaid Q??
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 14:33:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42262k/bronkaid_q/
---
For those of you that use it, How many bronkaid or primatene pills do you take? I ha e a high tolerance to caffeine and have been taking one at a time. I also noticed there's a big crash after. Maybe taking halves at a time would help. I'm also mixing this with several other pills such as SlimQuick and Garcina Cambodia whatever, along with painkillers, laxatives and vitamins.

[Tip] I've been telling people this but no one really believed me...
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 13:46:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/421xx3/ive_been_telling_people_this_but_no_one_really/
---
http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB123966898930315491

[Rant] Dropped 3 lbs in 3 days, so I ate a donut...
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 156lbs | 24 | - 24 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 13:00:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/421q38/dropped_3_lbs_in_3_days_so_i_ate_a_donut/
---
What the actual fuck is wrong with me? I'm at 500 cal at noon. I can end my day on track and below calories, but why did I do that? I've been making amazing progress and shown extreme self control. I told myself it's fine to eat it after 4pm in my IF hours...then I ate it. Where is my self control? I keep making rationalizations.

I'm at my goal weight loss for the week on Thursday, I can mess up a little. No.


I started my period so it's ok to mess up a little. No.

This is how a binge day starts and I have self control. I just keep saying this..

[Discussion] I just want to say THANK YOU to the mods and everyone in this sub.
/u/_skellies
Created: Thu Jan 21 12:56:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/421pht/i_just_want_to_say_thank_you_to_the_mods_and/
---
I've been lurking for a while on another account and created this one last night specifically to participate here. I can't express how much it means to have a place like this where I feel comfortable and "normal" with my eating and determination to lose weight. This sub makes me feel like there's nothing wrong with me.

I've been in recovery for a few years and pretty much let myself go during that time. In the past month or so, I've been inching more and more back into this lifestyle. It's been surprisingly easy to come back and I can't believe how much I've missed it. This is where I feel like myself.

So from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU.

[Discussion] Current BMI charts don't work for those of Asian descent.
/u/FredMist [5'9.5" | 116 lbs | 16.5 | -8 | f]
Created: Thu Jan 21 12:13:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/421i51/current_bmi_charts_dont_work_for_those_of_asian/
---
http://www.scpr.org/blogs/multiamerican/2013/10/28/15076/skinny-asian-american-myth-covers-up-obesity-probl/

[Tip] MFP app now has progress photos
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 11:50:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/421efh/mfp_app_now_has_progress_photos/
---
So now when you put in your weight to my fitness pal, you can put in a progress photo! I'm gonna use this feature to keep track of waist and thigh measures, as well as see the change in my face. So far I've got:

Monday- muscles (take a pic of a workout accomplishment, like my headstand)

Wednesday- waist (take a pic of my tape measure measures my waist)

Thursday- thighs

Friday- face

Don't know what on the other days yet, but I'm a fan of saving pictures with my weight! šŸ˜Š

[Rant] Fantastic (the sarcasm is strong in this title)
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW: 124.6 GW: 105 | BMI 23.5 | Female]
Created: Thu Jan 21 11:50:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/421ecz/fantastic_the_sarcasm_is_strong_in_this_title/
---
I don't understand what's wrong with my brain, that once I start eating, I can't stop. And there's literally no food I dislike, so I can just binge threw and everything. I seriously can't wait for the day I can take a few bites from food, have the rest sitting in front of me, and say "I don't want anymore" and stick to it

[Discussion] Binged and purged for the first time in a very long time
/u/fattywantsfood [5'9" | embarassing | +38.8 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 10:43:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/42135o/binged_and_purged_for_the_first_time_in_a_very/
---
The only thing I'm upset about is I don't know how many calories to log in MFP...

[Help] What's the best advice/tip you've recieved on controlling your ED?
/u/Fuzzypanda67 [5'9 | 136 | 19.72 | 2 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 10:29:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4210pl/whats_the_best_advicetip_youve_recieved_on/
---
I've been dealing with a lot of inconsistencies with my ED. One day I'm binging over 2500 calories, the next I'm working out for four hours to make up for it, and the next day or two I could be fasting. It's stressful because I never know how I'm going to feel a certain day or if I need to hide my eating/purging habits from my friends and family.
What are some ways I can keep my ED consistent?

[Goal] To look as small as Hyuna does even in loose clothing...Goals.
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Thu Jan 21 10:14:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/420y51/to_look_as_small_as_hyuna_does_even_in_loose/
---
https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=hagDwouTSp0&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DeexwtJ3YHgQ%26feature%3Dshare

[Tip] SKINNY LAUGHING COW CHEESE OMG
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW: 124.6 GW: 105 | BMI 23.5 | Female]
Created: Thu Jan 21 09:46:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/420t3h/skinny_laughing_cow_cheese_omg/
---
How have I lived my whole life without this stuff? The spreadable wedges are seriously heaven.

I am a cheese feene. I used to buy blocks of cheese to eat. And don't even get me started on cream cheese.

So the spreadable wedge (60 cal) on a rice cake (35 cal) saves my life when I feel like I need a bagel.

If you haven't tried them, do so! lol

[Discussion] CW Alcohol brands ?
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 118 ; 18.5 | GW 111 ; 17.4 | f]
Created: Thu Jan 21 09:31:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/420qea/cw_alcohol_brands/
---
I know we've done the alcohol subject almost to death, and it would be better for pretty much my whole body and calorie goals if I just didn't drink, but yo, I don't eat all day if I go out drinking and being drunk is pretty much a social necessity in university... so I want to know if anyone has done the research for brands that are the least calories (and highest percentages because I personally don't like coolers) in comparison to other brand competition.
Bottles hardly ever have nutrition facts, and I've been googling this for a while, but I just wanna know what your go-to alcohol brands are!

**I don't do mix at all because it is more calories and also doesn't necessarily help the taste...

Edit - no flair bc mobile

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 21 09:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/420lfa/daily_food_diary_january_21_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 21, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] I'm happy I didn't binge
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 21 08:35:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/420gtw/im_happy_i_didnt_binge/
---
I was truly about to binge yesterday, but I didn't! From 11pm to 3am I thought about binging and really almost did, but in the end, I slept. I dreamed about binging, but when I woke just now, I'm so relieved that I didn't binge yesterday night and that the dream wasn't real. Just posting this to tell you all that it's never worth it!

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support January 21, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 21 05:02:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41zniw/weekly_emotional_support_january_21_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Discussion] Link to incredibly low cal peanut butter cookie recipe in another sub.
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Thu Jan 21 03:18:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41zcfv/link_to_incredibly_low_cal_peanut_butter_cookie/
---
I am incredibly wary of linking posts from other subs in /r/proED because a bot tells everybody where it was linked. That could be detrimental for obvious reasons (hate the thought of drawing attention to us because we *will* get backlash.)

Anywho, I'm just going to link it here with spaces to circumvent the bot. It's a recipe for a very low cal peanut butter cookie. **You can eat about 14 of them for 400 calories.**

Recipe: 1/2 cup of PB2, 2/3 a cup of zero-calorie sweetener, 1 egg, 1 tsp of baking powder, 1 tsp of vanilla essence. Bake at 350F for 10ish minutes. They are very soft when first out of the oven, leave to cool and they will get crispy!

Post: np.reddit.com/r/1200isplenty/comments/41ygj8/peanutbutter_cookies_14_for_400_calories/



[Help] Afraid to talk to doctor about binge eating disorder?
/u/bentoboxricepig
Created: Thu Jan 21 00:04:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ytpr/afraid_to_talk_to_doctor_about_binge_eating/
---
I haven't talked to my doctor about this yet but I'm 99.9% that I have BED. I've known for a while now. I'm just too ashamed and embarrassed to get a real diagnosis. This isn't the eating disorder that no one wants or thinks is cool. It's fucking gross and I'm so, so, so embarrassed by it. I feel like getting a real diagnosis will just fuck me up so badly emotionally and I don't know why. Like, for some reason just having somebody tell me, for real, "you have binge eating disorder" will just validate how much of a nasty fatass I fucking am(???) My god, I'm so dumb I can't even properly word this...

I'm literally sobbing right now, like I can't even see past the tears, because I don't fucking want this eating disorder. It's so gross. It's so shameful. I'm terrified to get a diagnosis, to even bring it up with my doctor but getting a diagnosis will help me understand everything that I do, and I could probably get help... but there also isn't much help for BED because no one thinks it's a real thing.

Now I'm rambling.
I don't know what to do.

[Goal] I'm really happy
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 112.6 | 16.97 | -32 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 23:59:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41yt2w/im_really_happy/
---
My fitbit tells me I burned 3200 calories today. I feel insanely good. I took more than 20,000 steps and my whole body is sore and it's amazing. I hope everyone else had a wonderful day <3.

E: I had over 4 hours of "active minutes" too :DDD

[Help] How to come off of a long fast?
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 120.4 lbs | 22 | -11.2 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 21:46:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41yc76/how_to_come_off_of_a_long_fast/
---
So, I've just completed my 5th day of fasting. Yay! I feel so strong and in control. My first 3 days I consumed no more than 50 calories. The 4th day and today (the 5th) I consumed 230 calories from drinking 2% chocolate milk.

I plan to go all of Thursday and all of Friday, I know I can do it. and I'll eat Saturday if I feel like it but I honestly want to keep going at this point. But when I do decide to finally eat, what should I eat as to not disturb my metabolism and gain a few pounds back very easily? I've noticed in the past that even if I restrict calories for 2-3 days and then the following day don't restrict and consume a few more hundred calories, I gain at least an entire pound or 2. I don't want that to happen this time.

Thanks!

[Rant] Properly disgusted with myself
/u/Droppdtabl [5'2" | 122lbs | 23 | Nada | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 21:14:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41y7ms/properly_disgusted_with_myself/
---
I think I just have to express this someone, instead of keeping it to myself.

I had such a good day yesterday, and I cocked it up completely about an hour ago.

I've had twice my limit of calories and it's only three. Pretty much everything that came up was water. I binged two days ago as well, after having a fantastic day the day before that.

I've recently noticed that over-eating, or thinking I'm over-eating, stresses me out to astronomical levels. I am so disgusted with myself right now, and I still have to face tea time.

Sorry, I just had to get that out there.

[Rant] I am so bored
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 57.4kg | 21.1 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 20:02:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41xx9o/i_am_so_bored/
---
I'm starting to realise how much I eat just because I'm bored. There are plenty of things I *could* do, but the only thing I *want* to do is eat. Even though I purge pretty much every time I eat, it's making me fat again. But I can't stand the thought of just existing through all the hours in the day, and all the days in the week, on and on and on.

I don't want to do anything social, I don't want to clean, I don't want to do any of my hobbies, I don't want to work, I don't want to do anything. Just eat.

[Thinspo] Yellow is a happy colour
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 19:29:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41xsl9/yellow_is_a_happy_colour/
---
http://imgur.com/a/2mtn7

[Rant] Idiots on Facebook
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 104.2 lb | 19.74 | -15.8 | Kinda F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 19:25:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41xs2h/idiots_on_facebook/
---
Earlier I had a friend on Facebook enthusiastically share a post from Carl's Jr (fast food place on the west coast of the US, east coast has Hardee's) with a double burger, chicken filet sandwich, fries and a drink for $4. They and a mutual friend were talking about how they really wanted to go get it and eat it every day, etc.


I, thoroughly disgusted, impulsively commented about how that's more than I eat in a single day. Mind you I don't know these clowns IRL so it's not like they even know anything about my ED, nor is there anything they could do about it. They then quickly rebutted with "that's not healthy" and "you should probably not be doing that". I then showed them that that meal, even with a diet soda, was 1860 calories! That's more than I'd be eating a day if I was trying to maintain my weight! Anyways, the OP finally replied with "well still there's nothing wrong with a meal that big every so often". Dude, what's wrong with that "meal" is the fact that it exists.


Side note: I know that it's best not to talk about calories and eating and whatever with "normal" people but I just couldn't help myself, what the hell is wrong with America where this shit is okay?

[Rant] Text buddies or just people to talk to.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Wed Jan 20 19:17:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41xqr0/text_buddies_or_just_people_to_talk_to/
---
[removed]

[Rant] I'm really struggling...
/u/airflowers [5'6.5" | 156 |24.81| -110| F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 17:46:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41xd1d/im_really_struggling/
---
I'm so depressed. I binged really bad yesterday, and I had been doing so well too. But yesterday I just lost it and pigged out on every high calorie thing I could find, stuffing my face like a maniac. I can't purge either, so all those calories are still in me making me fatter, and I'd rather die than be fat! Why do I self destruct like this every time I have any success at anything I do? I've really been fighting depression and that doesn't help either. This morning I weighed and I gained three pounds, and that's probably not the end of it cause my weight usually goes up more the second day after a binge. The bad thing is I still want to binge more dammit! I was going to exercise today but I'm too depressed to do anything. I haven't binged today yet, but I'm just barely holding on.

[Discussion] Any other Ana followers also a 420 friendly?
/u/afattersideofme [5'4 | 203 lbs | 35.1 | -5 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 17:36:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41xbgt/any_other_ana_followers_also_a_420_friendly/
---
If so how do you deal with the munchies. It helps me sleep mostly and feel less anxious (plus no cals compared to alcohol and no where as bad for you as cigs) any one else have some advice? :)

[Help] Temptations at work
/u/elliebearrrr
Created: Wed Jan 20 16:09:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41wxnz/temptations_at_work/
---
[removed]

[Tip] Snack Tip of the Day - Freeze Dried Fruit! 120cal for a whole bag, and super easy to crumble in yogurt or salad!
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 15:44:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41wtk4/snack_tip_of_the_day_freeze_dried_fruit_120cal/
---
http://imgur.com/hf331xU

[Help] Android app for fasting
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 122 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 15:09:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41wnya/android_app_for_fasting/
---
Hullo

Can anyone recommend a good "time since last" or count-down-type widget for Android that's either for fasting or easily adaptable?

A quick search just gave me ones that were ridiculously ad laden which is too annoying.

[Discussion] I am being discharged from residential treatment for non-compliance
/u/DietSodaAddict [5'6"|CW:108|LW:94|Male/NB]
Created: Wed Jan 20 13:18:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41w5kh/i_am_being_discharged_from_residential_treatment/
---
I could not be happier, honestly. I am so done with the endless groups, constant monitoring, therapy sessions, and lack of being able to engage in my eating disorder behaviors.

Overall, I think the thing that upsets me the most is the fact that whenever I say anything that can be perceived as even slightly against recovery, I am reprimanded. There is this certain expectation for me to accept where people are in their process, and I do accept if someone chooses to recover, but then people are completely averse to even showing a shred of support or acceptance for how I want to live my life.

I am excited and scared in regards to the future. On one hand, I get to return to the comforts of my eating disorder, but I do not know how my interpersonal relationships with family and friends will change because of my dedication to this lifestyle.

[Help] Can I just binge on broccoli tonight?
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW: 124.6 GW: 105 | BMI 23.5 | Female]
Created: Wed Jan 20 13:05:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41w3b2/can_i_just_binge_on_broccoli_tonight/
---
I'm having really intense cravings for raw broccoli (thank god not anything else) I've had 530 calories today as is... do you think if I accidentally start to binge, there's anyway to break 650-700 with broccoli alone?

[Discussion] Making/have to eat spicy food?
/u/hottNpopular69
Created: Wed Jan 20 12:40:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41vz1i/makinghave_to_eat_spicy_food/
---
I like to make it unbearably spicy so I'm not tempted to over eat. Also being too spicy is a good excuse stop eating around others.

[Discussion] Green smoothies
/u/Pinkindabrain
Created: Wed Jan 20 11:48:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41vq05/green_smoothies/
---
So I bought a blender a few weeks back so that I could start making green smoothies. I have this idea of giving up solid food for lent but drinking a green smoothies three times a day so people don't think I'm starving myself. However whenever I made my smoothie I usually put in broccoli, kale, an apple, a small amount of blueberries, half a cup of Greek yogurt, protein powder, and a super green complex powder. I counted up the calories and it was about 300 but I still feel like I'm putting in so many servings of things in that it's not even worth it and I'd be better off eating solid food. I still really want to do this for lent though because not eating solid food disallows me to cave into my cravings.

Does anyone have green smoothie recipes they'd like to share? I'm going to need some variety but that's the only combo I can think of making.

(Btw I use the reddit app on my iPad so I don't know how to flair and all that)

[Help] How do you keep your stomach flat and feeling empty?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 105.8 | 19.26 (new calculator) | -9.2 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 11:33:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41vn6d/how_do_you_keep_your_stomach_flat_and_feeling/
---
I loooove the feeling of waking up with an empty hollow stomach but I feel like as soon as I drink some water it pokes out again. It doesn't look awful if I keep my core engaged (not sucking in, just good posture) but I'm aware that it's actually huge and I would really love for it to always feel like it does when it's totally empty.

I really rely on water/tea/coffee to keep me from breaking my IF before dinner but I think I must be doing it wrong - when I've had enough liquid to keep me full I look bloated, like 7 months pregnant bloated. Do I just need to train my stomach to feel full at smaller volumes? Maybe I need to go back to three tiny meals a day instead of one medium-sized one?

And finally - I started taking psyllium husk every day again because i was going like once a week and I HATED the feeling of it slooooowly building up inside (tmi, sorry...) but I feel like thats majorly contributing to stomach distension. Does anyone else here take fiber or anything without it making them enormous?

[Rant] I'm maintaining at my goal weight.
/u/clurrance [5'6" | 115.2 | 18.7 | -9.8 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 11:28:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41vma4/im_maintaining_at_my_goal_weight/
---
Life's been weird the past month...I hit my goal weight of 115 and have been hovering around it (115.4, 115.6, 113.9) consistently. I love how I can feel and see my hip bones, spine, ribs again. It's a little delight every time I unexpectedly touch a part of my body and find it's different (like the inside of elbow?!)

I don't really know what to do now. I'm much happier with my body at this weight. I've lost motivation to restrict (I've been on break at my parents, restricting is not an option there), so I've just been kinda watching what I eat. I still hate my thighs and would like to shrink them more, but I've started exercising consistently so hopefully that will slim/tone them.

The fact that I can feel this way makes me think maybe I don't have an ED anymore. Of course, I'd like to lose more, but I also get tired of being so obsessive. I'd like to encounter a piece of cake and be able to eat it without angst, but also not eat 3 more pieces.
What if I could just maintain here while eating "normally"? Is that even possible? I'd definitely flip out and restrict again if I began gaining. Maybe I've developed the ability to just diet without it being an ED. Maybe it's time to leave this part of my identity behind.

Sorry for the rambling post. I see now why they referred to me as the most ambivalent of the bunch in treatment.

[Discussion] Ohh hey I found Fasting Girls. Free PDF on Google Drive.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 11:13:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41vjsg/ohh_hey_i_found_fasting_girls_free_pdf_on_google/
---
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3Q11myA6WH7SllvWjdwdEIzVWs/view?usp=sharing

[Help] Your ED and brain function?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 20 10:53:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41vgrg/your_ed_and_brain_function/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Aside from the number on the scale, how do you measure your successes?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 20 10:43:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41vf6g/aside_from_the_number_on_the_scale_how_do_you/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] I want this to be meee
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 10:37:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ve68/thinspo_i_want_this_to_be_meee/
---
http://i.imgur.com/V2fQira.jpg

[Help] Binged for a week and went up 7-8 pounds after that week and cant get it off?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 20 10:18:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41vb23/binged_for_a_week_and_went_up_78_pounds_after/
---
[removed]

[Goal] [NSV] Bought cleaning supplies instead of munchies
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 10:14:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41vagv/nsv_bought_cleaning_supplies_instead_of_munchies/
---
Took a looong tour of the grocery store, past all of my former favorite binge foods-- fresh cakes and bread from the bakery, in particular, and full bags of chips, even party-platters of fruit. I just kept in mind how little I actually wanted to eat any of it. It would make my stomach hurt like it always had. There is NO pleasure in food.

I ended up filling my Rx (my primary reason for going to the store, anyway) and bought a bunch of new cleaning supplies. Then I went home and Cinderella'd the shit out of my room and shared bathroom.

[Goal] Fasting for the first time in forever
/u/afattersideofme [5'4 | 203 lbs | 35.1 | -5 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 09:57:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41v7qr/fasting_for_the_first_time_in_forever/
---
Been fasting since 3pm yesterday (managed to only take to tiny bites of tuna last night at dinner so hubby wouldn't worry) and going until 3 today. A bit light headed, had nausea but that was after slamming a full water bottle worth of water. Tea has helped since, earl grey with splenda. I'm dizzy and I hate that feeling but no where as much as I hate this body. Just trying to focus on work and getting through my fast proving I can do it. Turned down free tacos at work (its so hard wince works constantly putting free food out for us -_- ) but proud of that tiny accomplishment of saying no. How do y'all get through your fasts? How do you eat post fast so all the effort wasn't wasted? I plan to allow only 500 cal after for 24 hr period- I have some quick fix miso soup which Is about 93 cals and decently warm and filling.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 20, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 20 09:02:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41uyq0/daily_food_diary_january_20_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 20, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] The nausea is horrible! Ugh!
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW: 124.6 GW: 105 | BMI 23.5 | Female]
Created: Wed Jan 20 08:18:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41urhh/the_nausea_is_horrible_ugh/
---
The last few days have been my first restricting in years. And today I woke up so nauseous and sore. I've been staying at or just a little under 800 calories a day. But yesterday I finally stayed at 497. I puked this morning, and had to eat about 10 saltiness and 3/4 can of progressive chicken and noodle soup to keep the nausea away, and so far so good. But, is this normal? I really don't remember the beginning stages of this, since it's been so long. Will the nausea pass the more my stomach gets used to be empty again? And any suggestions besides mints? (that and gum are burning my throat at the moment)

[Tip] My incessant leg tapping finally has a purpose: fidgeting can burn an average of 300-350 calories a day.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 20 07:14:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ui3c/my_incessant_leg_tapping_finally_has_a_purpose/
---
https://www.fitnessblender.com/articles/how-many-calories-does-fidgeting-burn-fidgeting-for-weight-loss

[Rant] I'm rededicated to restricting after a few days of trying to be "normal"
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 115.6 lbs | 20.23 | -29.4 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 07:04:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ugqm/im_rededicated_to_restricting_after_a_few_days_of/
---
I tried to eat more this week. I am really feeling like shit about it. I was trying to eat more because my husband doesn't want me to lose much more weight, and people at work are commenting every day about my weight loss (usually different people on kind of a rotation). But I feel miserable eating so much. I feel out of control and disgusting and chaotic. I feel so much more at peace and calm and put together when I am restricting and only eating what I want - not what I think other people expect of me.

It feels so much better to see lower numbers on the scale and to know that I am still losing. I hate eating things that I'm not 100% sure on the calorie count. Like things my husband makes, or things without nutrition facts.

I know that if I stick to restricting I will feel so much happier and less stressed than if I eat "intuitively" or try not to care so much about it. Because even if I think I'm being gracious or kind to myself by eating what would be considered a "normal" amount or in a "normal" way, it actually causes me more harm than if I am counting calories and ensuring that I am at a decent deficit for the day.

I've tried being "normal" before and "not caring" but it makes me feel like shit and makes me gain weight.

Anyone else relate to this?

I know I'll have to switch to maintenance at some point in my life or I'll die but I'm still well within the normal BMI range, so I'm just fine for the next while.

[Rant] So close... and another setback. These are my confessions.
/u/originalRedBull [5'5 | 101 | 17.0 | -32 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 06:54:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ufbn/so_close_and_another_setback_these_are_my/
---
Alright, this is getting ridiculous. I've been at my current weight for weeks now. My gw is 99lbs. I am (was?) at 102. I figured this could be the week I could at least see 100 by Sunday. I have a gym membership and calories planned out and basically everything planned out. It started out really well and I fasted all of Monday and most of yesterday.


I should have recognized the signs. Cramps, back pain, headache, even more cold than usual, terrible mood... OH and starving. Like way worse than usual.


Well I was feeling so awful in general I skipped the gym (mistake #1) and went home. And at this point I'm ravenous, but its like 7pm so I really don't want to take an EC stack or Adderall (mistake #2) because I wake up at 5am for work.


I get in the shower to try and distract myself and when I get out the most wonderful smell is coming from downstairs. I should have just gone to bed. But no (mistake #3), I go downstairs and my mom has made homemade pizza and brownies... And I COMPLETELY caved. I went fucking insane. I ate literally 3/4 of the pizza in probably 8 minutes. It was huge too. I could've had the whole thing but thank god my mom ate a few pieces. Then I made a huge disgusting brownie sundae with probably half a pint of ice cream. And then had chips. And granola bars. And finished the rest of the goddamn cereal. And the milk. What. the. fuck.


Not only did I binge, I did it with my mom and sister in the next room. What is wrong with me? Well, come to find out I get my period today so not only am I binge/purge bloated, I'm normal bloated too. Awesome.


I haven't weighed myself and I don't think I can until I spend the next five hours at the gym. I should have just gone last night. I should have just sucked it up and taken the EC Stack and been tired today. But no, I caved and now I'm even further from my goal. I swear I'm like a werewolf, when it is that time of the month I need to be tied up and chained to a tree or else I will literally eat everything in the house. Ugh. Sorry this is long and stupid and probably tmi. I needed to confess my fuck up though, so I can try and move on and fix it now. =/

[Help] How to deal with people knowing?
/u/LadyGreyish [5'7 | 121lbs | 19.5 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 20 01:27:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41th2i/how_to_deal_with_people_knowing/
---
Hi!

I've been reading for a while and just made a new account to post. I've been having issues with eating for something like a year now, and a couple of days ago I was kind of stupid and told a good friend.

Since then, I've been absolutely just tripping. For the last days I've been binging and purging like crazy, to the point where I actually had to lie down a couple of times because I almost passed out. I don't think I've eaten anything that didn't come out afterwards. This is stupid, because I know I can just eat like some vegetables and I will be fine, but no, I have to eat everything that I have here... On top of that, my friend is trying to help a bit; not by making me eat but by trying to get me to hang out and stuff, which scares me for some reason. Also; I feel like he wants to check up if I eat / purge. Does anyone have any experience with this? How do I deal with this?

[Rant] Sometimes the hard things you go through can be seen as a blessing.
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 120.4 lbs | 22 | -11.2 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 23:44:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41t6da/sometimes_the_hard_things_you_go_through_can_be/
---
I'm so lost and depressed it feels like I'm living in a nightmare. I didn't know a break up could hit me this hard but it has. He was like my best friend and now he's gone. It's been a few days and if we don't ever work this out, I don't want to be with anyone else for a really long time. I just want to sit in my house and starve for as long as I can. I don't want to go out on dates with anyone which usually results in eating food. I don't even want to talk to anyone. I just want to be alone with the voices telling me I need to suffer. Where I can cry in peace. I stopped taking my mood stabilizer and anti depressant because I don't deserve to be happy. Plus happiness will give me an appetite. Being depressed has lead me to complete my 4th day fasting now, starting the 5th. I'm hungry but I couldn't bring myself to eat food if I tried. It sucks because now he's on Tinder probably talking to a couple girls already and could care less about me, and here I am crying and hating myself. In a way it's a blessing to go through something so hard because it's the added motivation I need to get to where I want to be.

Sorry for the pity party, it's just such a hard time for me right now.

Has anyone else ever gone through a break up or something else hard to get through? Did it ever make you want to suffer and stay as far away from food as possible?

[Thinspo] Just appeared on my FB feed, thought you'd all love it as much as I do!
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 23:33:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41t57o/just_appeared_on_my_fb_feed_thought_youd_all_love/
---
http://i.imgur.com/t61gVeIl.jpg

[Goal] I am better than I think. I can overcome the temptations.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Tue Jan 19 21:27:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41sok0/i_am_better_than_i_think_i_can_overcome_the/
---
I am writing this to rant but also to channel how I feel currently. I have spent the last two hours studying for an exam and managed to go all day without eating. I calculated about 24 hours since I last ate something which was a binge. I purged a bunch with laxatives (something I used to do and quit but was desperate) My stomach has been in mild pain but just enough to keep me from eating. My kitchenis filled with foods that would normally send me into a binge. My parents do shopping and I live with them. They both eat a lot of junk food. There is leftover garlic bread and brownies from yesterday on the counter. I took a whiff of the brownies then I stopped myself. I said to myself "I don't need that shit in my body" and closed the container. I felt a sense of empowerment when I muttered those words. As if it were a statement of power to me. I am more powerful than the temptations that continually set me back.

I have binged almost every day for the past week and blown up in weight but I feel more confident going into tomorrow after tonight. I will get back to where I was and go even lower. I will teach my body to eat how I want it to. Small portions for the small frame I will chase half to death some days all the way because it matters the most to me.

Thank you for reading this. I am struggling a lot and feel alone but it was nice to feel like I was in control for at least a moment and when i go to sleep I will rest knowing I resisted the awful poisonous food that would have had the best of me in other circumstances.

-P

[Help] Plateaus: How long do they last for you and how can you break them?
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 116.4 | 21.29 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 20:53:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41sjp1/plateaus_how_long_do_they_last_for_you_and_how/
---
Stuck at 116 for exactly a week now :( I've been losing 1-2 lbs a week consistently. What the hell!?

[Help] Experiences in recovery?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 20:31:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41sgqg/experiences_in_recovery/
---
Hey, as many of you have probably seen in some of my posts, I'm going into treatment soon. I'm going into an inpatient program for about 8 weeks, then outpatient for a while

I was wondering what people's experience in recovery has been like. I would love to hear how it went for you. If anyone has any advice as well I'd love to hear it.

[Thinspo] MFW the clerk at the pharmacy asked if I was buying my Ephedrine for use as a nasal decongestant...
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 20:19:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41sf12/mfw_the_clerk_at_the_pharmacy_asked_if_i_was/
---
http://imgur.com/5y4UqA3

[Help] Purging weirdness (tmi gross)
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Tue Jan 19 19:38:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41s8th/purging_weirdness_tmi_gross/
---
I was trying to purge a salad today and all that came up was mucus. I usually get a runny nose so I do purge that too, I know disgusting I don't know why that happens to me. This time it definitely wasn't that because I had just started to purge so I didn't have a runny nose yet. There was so much clear mucusy stuff and no food that I got disgusted and went on the treadmill instead. What the hell is this? I'm freaked out.

[Rant] Some days it feels like shit is raining from the sky and someone is holding my eyelids open.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 19 17:33:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41rpg7/some_days_it_feels_like_shit_is_raining_from_the/
---
[removed]

[Rant] I've got worse than ever before at this... Help...
/u/Skinnyinthemaking [159cm | NOT LOW ENOUGH | 19.5 | -2.2kg | F | GW: 42kg]
Created: Tue Jan 19 17:15:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41rmny/ive_got_worse_than_ever_before_at_this_help/
---
Yesterday went so well, fasting and everything, then today I ended up having about 2300 calories, 800 above my TDEE so no where near the minimum 700 deficit I was aiming for... I don't know how to stop it. At the time eating seems so reasonable no matter how much I think about how much I will regret it afterwards or look at thinspo.

why do I have to be so weak. I don't understand, I could do it less than a year ago, I did, and I felt amazing! It was the happiest few months of my life when I was underweight just because I was so confident.

I need to go back but I really don't know how to do it. Nothing seems to work and it just ends up with me feeling like a failure and I'll never get to my goal.

Why can't I just put aside what I want now for just a couple of months?! I don't remember it being this difficult, and maybe that's part of the reason.

Sorry for the rant I'm just angry with myself for my lack of discipline.

[Rant] [Rant] And I thought I was better...ish
/u/afattersideofme [5'4 | 203 lbs | 35.1 | -5 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 16:46:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41rhwd/rant_and_i_thought_i_was_betterish/
---
I'm 26 and here I am again... I thought I had gotten past it, conquered it but its my comfort blanket and I need Ana right Now. I've always hated my body but these past years I thought I could tolorate the weight and the food and the constant pounds if it meant a baby.... We finally got pregnant but what do I have to show for it? Nothing, my baby is gone due to miscarriage and I'm so huge this is the biggest I've been ever and I feel sick about it, was this really worth it?!! I don't care any more, at least Ana never let me down :( my one constant.

[Tip] Urge You To Try Laksa
/u/WhiteHarem
Created: Tue Jan 19 16:35:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41rg3o/urge_you_to_try_laksa/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Resources for Reverse Thinspo?
/u/inspectordata
Created: Tue Jan 19 16:29:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41rf4k/resources_for_reverse_thinspo/
---
Recently I have found that fear of being fat is a better motivation to lose weight than a desire to be skinny. I've been watching my 600 lb life like crazy and it's really been helping quell my binging habits. Does any one know of any other resources of reverse thinspo?

[Discussion] Emotional Eating gender differences
/u/yemeyenkiz [5"6' | 125 lbs | BM I 20.83 | +25lbs |Female]
Created: Tue Jan 19 15:06:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41r0zc/emotional_eating_gender_differences/
---
I am one of the girls on here who isn't underweight, but I still have many of the habits and desires associated with disordered eating habits, such as generally high organisation level, low spontaneity and a really strong desire to fit in and feel loved. The last of these definitely affects the way I act around my (long-term) boyfriend, I have a strong desire to feel girly and cute around him. However I have noticed that when I have a really bad or a really good day, he and other people try to push food on me to celebrate (hardly out of the ordinary) 'oh sounds like you had a tough day we should go get some icecream'. And if I say I don't feel like it, I always get told something along the lines of 'you're no fun' or even my boyfriend said yesterday 'that's not very cute of you'. Why does this contradiction exist in the west, when females can't control their emotions and need to use food as an outlet it's seen as cute and not disgusting (as long as they're small) but this doesn't exist for men? I feel like i've been positively reinforced from a young age by society to eat my feelings away and if I don't, 'well that's not cute'. What are some other things surrounding eating and exercise that are possibly contradictory, is it in all western society, or just in Australia where I live? Curious to hear your thoughts.

[Discussion] Another Intro
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 115.6 lbs | 20.23 | -29.4 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 14:26:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41qtx1/another_intro/
---
Hi there, I'm StrivingForLovely. I've been on Reddit for a few years on a different account, and made this one a couple of months ago so that I could post on this forum and browse/save thinspo more anonymously - my husband knows my other username.

Like many of us here, my issues with food and eating began from a young age. I was born quite prematurely and was very sick. When I was a few days old I had major surgery. I started out tiny, and so growing up, it was something that people/family always commented on. "You're so skinny!", "You have such a bony butt!", stuff like that. I equated being skinny with value and attention.

I remember avoiding eating from around age 10 onwards - I would not eat the lunch my mom packed for me but I was scared to be seen throwing it away at school, so I would hide uneaten sandwiches in my locker or in my closet at home. I would inevitably forget about them, as kids are prone to do, and my mom would find them weeks later when she would clean my room or on locker clean out day, I'd find disgusting moldy sandwiches from weeks ago... So gross.

I remember one time when my mom found one, she told my dad, and he said "Do we need to take you to a psychologist??!!" That scared me, but also kind of made me feel like my issues were finally real.

I was never severely underweight or anything, definitely on the noticeably skinny side, but I loved sports, so I generally kept looking healthy.

I remember reading about purging one day. I decided to try it one time after eating what I felt was a binge, and managed to stick a toothbrush far enough down to make me throw up. Once I learned that trick... oh my. I wish I hadn't. It's too easy now.

I was never diagnosed with anything. Never over or underweight. Never enough to have a "real" ED. But it has been something that I have struggled with for as long as I can remember and so it is extremely difficult to break those thought patterns.

I would journal a lot as a kid. Much of the content of those journals is making lists of goals and numbers and safe foods and exercise plans and calorie counts. I have the calories of most common foods memorized. I can't NOT think about how many calories something has.

During university I stayed within a "normal" weight range. On the higher end, though. There was a girl in my program who had to drop out because of an ED and I was *jealous* of her. Messed up. The lowest adult weight I remember before 2015 was 127.

Same deal, after uni, just staying usually within 130 - 145 pounds. Usually about 135. Gross... I never thought I was objectively overweight, but I always wanted to lose. I was just not very effective at it! I would mostly restrict a little, then binge and purge. Probably closest to bulimic than anything else.

In 2015, I quit drinking alcohol after it caused some unfortunate events in my life. I think that was a HUGE source of calories for me. I also switched from taking birth control pills to the Mirena IUD. I think that made a difference too - no systemic hormones. I also went on Wellbutrin - the "skinny, happy, horny pill" after I had a terrible allergic reaction to an SSRI. I also started training for a half marathon over the summer, which I ran in the fall.

Oh, and my main kick in the pants to start seriously losing last year was a friend of mine signing up for a bikini body building competition last January. I didn't want to look like a whale next to her...!

I started at about 147-ish in December 2014 (after holiday bingeing and water weight and depression and drinking - that was the highest weight I have seen on the scale, it was usually about 140 at that time). I got to 133 in January, 125 in May (my original GW), and maintained around 120-125 until December of this year. My new low weight is 113.6, which was a couple of weeks ago.

Because it's been noticeable to people, I've slowed it down to avoid worry. I'm currently 115-117. But I want to be 107. Funny how GWs keep lowering and lowering - never happy once we've "arrived".

I'm a healthcare professional - I know the dangers of anorexia and bulimia. I guess I don't think it could ever get that bad for me, but neither did the people who died from their EDs. I'm sure I'll be fine! ;)

Anyways, there's a lot more to the story but I feel like I've put too much detail in already.

Just wanted to introduce myself to the community.

Keep striving, lovelies!


Laxatives
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 19 13:47:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41qnai/laxatives/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Pavlok, LEAF, Fitbit, ect?
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 13:12:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41qhgb/pavlok_leaf_fitbit_ect/
---
Has anyone tried them? I know FitBit is pretty well-known, but LEAF interested me a bit more because it's so pretty. Pavlok also sounds amazing as an anti-binge tool, since you can manually trigger the shock.

Any one tried them? Any others similar? Do you find they help keep you in line, or are they just fancy baubles that you could do without?

[Tip] Off to see the world from the comfort of home
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 12:48:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41qdlu/off_to_see_the_world_from_the_comfort_of_home/
---
I've mentioned once before that I have a Wii U and use Wii U Fit whenever I want something fun and distracting to get me through a bit of a work out. It really IS a lot of fun. Just silly really, and sometimes that's the difference between getting it done happily or dragging your feet.

One thing I've always really loved about the Wii U Fit was that it has this adorable little step counter that you can clip to your pants or whatever and then when you dump it into the Wii U's tally, you can spend your saved steps on imaginary trips. You can walk London or Tokyo (with step calculation), climb the Eiffel Tower one step at a time or even scale the side of the Great Pyramid (with elevation calculation). It's actually such a great motivator! Sometimes when I don't FEEL up to doing something, I'll think to myself, but I bet if I go just a little further, I'll have walked around Paris! And then I'll let myself daydream about my trip to Paris and all the sights and sounds I got to experience.

The only drawback of the Wii's system is that it has all these places preplanned, you just pick it out of a list, it adds it and boom, done. My plan however is to take this adorable concept and break it free from the chains that bind it! I have the FitBit Charge HR, so it's keeping track (roughly) of elevation changes, and of course, it's keeping track of my steps and miles. I also have a FitDesk 2.0 and that has a distance and time tracker as well. I've decided I'm off to see the world but more than that, challenge myself to see how quickly I can tackle some mile goals!

For biking, I'm going big! My trip takes me to the Pacific Crest Bike Trail! 2,560 miles, from Mexico to Canada! Obviously, it's lacking in hills and flat tires and horrible weather, but I still think it's a pretty cool distance to go for and I'm hoping I finish it about two months time!

Step wise, [I'm going to be following this trekking holiday in Iceland](http://www.responsibletravel.com/holiday/5955/trekking-holiday-in-iceland) although it's probably going to take me a little longer than six days (I swear, it's because I'm stopping so often to take pictures and write sonnets about the beauty of it all!)

Elevation wise, I think I'm going to start with a good old fashioned American hike up the Statue of Liberty! The elevation ones always take a bit longer than the others because sometimes... you don't run into that many flights of stairs to make the darn thing move! Ha.

I figure since all of this will take some time to get done, it'll be a fun way not just to get in a couple more biking miles or a few more steps, but I also want to take a little time and learn about the places "I'm at". Foreign country? Learn how to ask for the bathroom! (That's a bit of dark humour, enjoy) Recreate Waston's bumbled up bits [part 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCKAbQLH9mY) and [part 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaVSpsS0WtQ) in the native tongue of the land. Find the biggest tourist trap in town. Find the local hidden gem. Visit a virtual museum. It should be educational as well as "rear view mirror" melting (I'm talking about my tush.)

If anyone else goes on an adventure, lets swap some stories! Imagination is something we can all indulge in more often I feel, and it's always better when you can share!

[Discussion] the weirdness of goal weights for normal people
/u/lesoleiletlalune [5'4" | 130 | 22.75 | -30 | f]
Created: Tue Jan 19 12:34:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41qbba/the_weirdness_of_goal_weights_for_normal_people/
---
people who have a normal relationship with food and work on losing weight almost always have goal weights that seem so arbitrary to me. why did they pick that? how are they just completely satisfied when they reach it? my friend has been losing weight without having any disordered eating and recently told me that she reached her goal weight. she looks great, but she looked great 5 lbs ago and she'd look great with 5 lbs less. my disordered mind tells me she'd look great way thinner but she was beautiful before she started losing weight so I just think she looks great no matter what. if she's going by the number, how is she deciding that that's the right place to stop? I don't understand how people pick numbers and how they are content once they get there. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but it just seems weird to me.

I've never had a real goal weight. I mean, I know what weight I'd have to be to be on the border of underweight, and there is a number from my past that holds significance for me, but it doesn't really matter to me what weight I end up at. I'll know when I like how I look, and as I incorporate weight training, my weight may be higher than those significant numbers as I build muscle but I could still look just as thin or thinner. it's all about the aesthetic for me, not the number. the numbers help with knowing you're losing weight but I don't see the number as the objective.

can anyone relate? if you have a goal weight, how did you pick it? what has your history with goal weights been? interested in hearing perspectives/stories.

[Tip] Great article about how to prepare konnyaku. A block made of the same stuff as shirataki noodles.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 19 11:53:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41q44t/great_article_about_how_to_prepare_konnyaku_a/
---
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/04/seriously-asian-simmered-konnyaku-with-beef-recipe.html

[Help] Lunch table goodies
/u/fattywantsfood [5'9" | embarassing | +38.8 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 10:56:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ptrp/lunch_table_goodies/
---
Someone brought peanutbutter chocolate cupcakes to the work lunch table and I'm just I sitting here with my quinoa, corn, bean, and chicken salad and liter of water. Jesus help me.

[Rant] Dining hall struggle
/u/alliealleyat
Created: Tue Jan 19 10:47:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ps4y/dining_hall_struggle/
---
Instead of my planned 7 cal bowl of spinach salad, I caved and got some popcorn chicken (250cal). I feel disgusting, but I am so tempted to get more. Being surrounded by food at university is so hard.

Update: One of my friends arrived shortly after I finished the chicken. I sat and talked with her for almost an hour and only had a mug of green tea and a bowl of spinach. Damage controlled, crisis averted.

[Discussion] Which calorie content surprised you?
/u/Mi_ra [5'5| 105,4 | 17.75 | 9,2 F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 10:26:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41podm/which_calorie_content_surprised_you/
---
What was way higher or lower calorie than you would have thought?

For me it was eggplant. I still think it tastes like it has a ton of calories, but it's only 22kcals/100g.

[Help] I already feel like today will be a binge day.
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW: 124.6 GW: 105 | BMI 23.5 | Female]
Created: Tue Jan 19 10:03:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41pk83/i_already_feel_like_today_will_be_a_binge_day/
---
I'm already 365 calories in for the day, and it's only 11am, and I ate my planned lunch. I'm feeling discouraged, and like I might as well eat whatever because I'm already off track. Any advice?

[Tip] Another benefit to fasting: it can be good for your gut bacteria. "Studies show the more we extend our overnight fast, the more diverse our microbes, the more healthy chemicals are produced and the less weight we gain."
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 19 09:34:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41pf4i/another_benefit_to_fasting_it_can_be_good_for/
---
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3405567/Do-bug-tum-makes-Bacteria-gut-reveal-astonishing-secrets-health.html

[Help] I just want to eat fruit roll-ups and we have 560 pieces in our house now.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 09:27:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41pdz0/i_just_want_to_eat_fruit_rollups_and_we_have_560/
---
I love fruit roll-ups. Sugar is my weakness. My uncle tried to order a Costco-sized box of 56 for my brother's lunches. Whatever went wrong, Amazon sent 10 boxes instead of 1.

I can lay in a pile of 560 fruit roll-ups. I'm 99% sure I wished for this as a kid and my wish was simply delayed until now.

But I can't eat them. It's just not an option. Who can eat 1 when there are 559 more?

Zeus give me strength.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 19, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 19 09:02:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41p9nv/daily_food_diary_january_19_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 19, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Tip] PSA: The clothing swap thread is listed on the sidebar.
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 116.6 | 19.63 | -39.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 07:36:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41oxou/psa_the_clothing_swap_thread_is_listed_on_the/
---
Just a reminder for anyone who may have missed posting in the clothing swap thread! It's on the sidebar as sort of a permanent thread that anyone can add to and comment on at any time :) The post about VS bras reminded me. That shit's expensive, so bra swaps would be cool too.

Anyways, I'll probably delete this post at the end of the day, just wanted to give some visibility in case people would still like to swap!

[Linky](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41086l/clothing_swap_thread/)

[Help] Stomach/intestines grumbling loudly at night and in the morning?
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 116.4 | 21.29 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 19 06:33:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41onw8/stomachintestines_grumbling_loudly_at_night_and/
---
Well I think the question is pretty much in the title. I woke up right now (5 AM) with my stomach as noisy as ever and I feel some movement in my gut as well. This usually happens to me in the morning but I don't actually feel hungry. My intestines are so loud and if it were gas I think the problem would fix itself. This is like the third day this has happened. Nothing fixes this, I've tried water, letting out gas (sorry tmi), and laying in different positions. Does this happen to any of you? Is my body having trouble getting used to less food?

[Help] too hungry to sleep
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Tue Jan 19 03:06:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41nyii/too_hungry_to_sleep/
---
what do you do? what do you eat at the end of the day? dont want to eat but so hungry im awake

[Discussion] how do you deal with plans changing
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Tue Jan 19 00:31:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41nj6x/how_do_you_deal_with_plans_changing/
---
urgh so i had a dinner with friends today and a friends mom and fasted all day and pre stalked menu knowing what i was gonna get. the mom ordered 7 apetizers and i ate half a cucumber and 2 pomegranite seeds and was okay and then for main coruses they couldnt do grilled chicken and salad so i had scalops but i have no idea what they were cooked in i tried to wipe off all the sauce but now i have no idea how much i actually ate FML STRESSED AND I DONT WANT THIS TO TURN INTO A BINGE

[Tip] Binge Free Leaderboards Site Update
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 22:31:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41n5qg/binge_free_leaderboards_site_update/
---
Some updates!

* You can now use the metric system. That setting is underneath the table of user stats. All length measurements are in cm, and all weight measurements in kg.
* I've also implemented a feature where your statuses will post to [home](http://weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php?id=5). Tell me if you all like this or not. I was thinking of creating a feature that lets you reply to statuses as well.
* I fixed the annoying cache resubmission thing that happens when you click on the username in the chart and then click back.
* There are still some strange timezone problems. I'll fix those soon.
* I changed "binge" to "cheat" because it sounds less ED-ish and made it more convenient for me to work on the site in public. I can change that back if you all would rather have "binge".
* I will create weight prediction trends soon. Something like losertown/MFP. If possible, I'll try to recycle their code if I can find it.

Tell me if you all want any other features. Some ideas I have:

1. Clothing exchange listings (think Craigslist) search by size
2. Chat room/PM features
3. Profile pictures
4. Galleries that allow you to search by height,weight,bmi.

If you all want something specific, I can implement those first. **Also, if you notice a bug or error, please please let me know!** Thanks everyone for using the site. It means a lot to me :)

[Rant] Desperately lonely. No family, no friends, no food. Wtf am I doing on this planet?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 18 22:26:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41n54p/desperately_lonely_no_family_no_friends_no_food/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Just completed a 3 day fast! Trying to go for 4 more days?
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 120.4 lbs | 22 | -11.2 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 22:16:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41n3sv/just_completed_a_3_day_fast_trying_to_go_for_4/
---
I haven't eaten since Friday night. So, I've gone all of Saturday, Sunday, and Monday without eating. I'm super happy! I've lost now 7 pounds doing so.

I want to go another 4 days. I don't want to eat until at least Saturday, but hopefully longer. Anyone else fasting? Anyone have any tips for ignoring any cravings? I know I don't deserve to eat right now but I know temptation will hit me and I don't even want one bite of anything.

[Goal] Four-day Week Fast!
/u/Larinspeak [5'9" | CW: 152 | GW: 145| UGW: 125 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 21:18:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41mw2d/fourday_week_fast/
---
I had the luxury of having Monday off, but I took the three day weekend and binged on yucky things.

I am 5 foot 9 and weigh 152. I'm going to fast tomorrow until Saturday and measure myself then!

I'll update this post with daily weigh -ins!

Anyone is free to join me and keep the conversation flowing here.

Edit : 1/19 weight 152!

1/20 weight 149

1/22 142

[Discussion] Anybody try hydroxycut?
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Mon Jan 18 20:00:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ml89/anybody_try_hydroxycut/
---
[removed]

[Rant] My fast ended in a 1000 calorie binge :-(
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Jan 18 19:51:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41mjwg/my_fast_ended_in_a_1000_calorie_binge/
---
I really wanted to fast today since I had to eat semi-normally Saturday while with family. I made it all the way to 8pm and then I thought: I could have just a small meal and still be under 200 cals for the day, but when I started eating I just couldn't stop. Now I'm sitting here, stomach hurting and feeling like a total failure.

Maybe I should just stick to my 750/800 a day and not try to fast but I was really looking forward to accomplishing it. Anybody else who just can't seem to fast without triggering binges?

[Help] I picked the worst week to cycle off my ECA
/u/InItTLoseIt [5' 7" | 194.2 | 30.31 | -26.4 lbs | Femme nb]
Created: Mon Jan 18 19:27:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41mghg/i_picked_the_worst_week_to_cycle_off_my_eca/
---
I've been taking a daily ECA stack since before U.S. Thanksgiving, and after hearing that it can be dangerous to continually take it like that, I decided to go off of it for a week.

And then I found out that in the past month two different family members were diagnosed with cancer. My dad's dad and my mom's uncle. My mom's uncle also passed away last night due to complications from pneumonia while immunosuppressed. My mom and her family are all from Nicaragua. Her uncle lived 8 hours away, in Chicago, so he was one of the few members of her family that I actually got to know. I took it really hard and had to call of work. I thought that would be the best idea, since I binged there yesterday after I found out he was taken off life support on Saturday.

Instead I ate half a deluxe pizza my boyfriend brought home last night, 8 hot wings, over a liter of diet coke, and a whole box of stove top sage stuffing. I can't even remember exactly what all I ate. I just know that it came out to over 2000 calories. It's just sitting in my stomach like a soft mass of cotton.

And, like, I know that this isn't going to absolutely RUIN me. I'm able to recognize that on a logical level. But deeper, more emotionally, I just know that I won't feel better about my behavior until I take a laxative tonight and check the damage on the scale afterwards, in the morning.

Right now I'm trying to prevent any further harm by watching ballet documentaries, drinking a lot of water, and I'll probably do a mini-spa treatment before bed. Hot shower, face exfoliation, scraping calluses off my feet, and a manicure. Then I'll read some of those books that were posted the other day on this sub. I'm really engrossed in Portia's memoir.

But I think where I want to go from here:

* Continuing my 28-Day Squat Challenge. I've been keeping up with it, but I hate the rest days. I want to keep moving.

* Capping off my daily calories at the ABSOLUTE MAX of 1000. Preferably less than 800.

* Drinking only water, tea, coffee, and diet coke as a treat. Maybe my glass of absinthe if, after it, I won't exceed 800.

* No eating after 11pm. I'd prefer to stop eating at 9, but my work schedule usually doesn't let me go home until 10/10:30 at night.

* Post my meals here every day. I won't get better if I can't remain accountable.

* Save up to finish my proofreader training. I need to quit my job at the grocery store if I want to prevent any more binges. Having gluten-free and vegan samples sent in doesn't do me any good if I'll finish the whole package. Working from home will also let me cook meals during actual meal times instead of in the middle of the night.

* Get back onto ECA. I'd rather risk the heart issues if it means I won't eat almost 3 times as much in one day.

I realize that this whole post is a mess. It started out spur-of-the-moment when I saw the MFP alert that I was over my allotted calories. I can't risk another freak-out binge. I've come too far. I'm tagging this as Help in case someone here has any other good ideas for someone who's bigger with binge issues like me.

[Discussion] another intro!
/u/Acquaesapone
Created: Mon Jan 18 19:20:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41mffn/another_intro/
---
Hi everyone,

I have been wanting to post an intro for a while now. I have been lurking since July 2015 and I finally have the courage now. You all seem so nice and supportive. First off sorry for my english it is my second language, and secondly I have never posted on reddit before so this might be wrong formatting.

I had a weird relationship with food ever since I can remember. When I was very young and moved to America I disliked eating. Eventually I discovered hot cheetos and cup of noodles. Everyone referred to me as the "skinny girl who has a fast metabolism". I believed them. This was before I knew what a calorie was. Obviously as a 5'2" girl I do not have a high metabolism.

Eventually I got to 125 pounds. I felt awful. I learned what calories were so I exercised and restricted and I went down to 105 pounds which is still in the healthy range. However I feel disgusting and fat and out of control so I have been trying to restrict to 700 cals. I would go lower but I binge too much. I hope I can get down to 95 pounds. Maybe 90 because I have a small frame. I work full time and go to school full time so I only am able to work out 4 times a week. I wish I didn't like food so much :(

There is some good news though. Thanks to everyone here that posts I have been able to stick to about 1,000 cals on some weeks, and I am down to 104 now. I do have a history of binging and restricting (which is why I have never been able to be under 100 pounds). Hopefully I will be able to reach that goal.

So I guess the point of this post is, thank you everyone for the inspiration !

[Discussion] Introduction
/u/mckenziemudkip [5'1"| CW: 124.6 GW: 105 | BMI 23.5 | Female]
Created: Mon Jan 18 19:17:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41mewp/introduction/
---
Number one, I'm 100% new to reddit.
I literally made this an hour ago, and have just been lurking this whole time haha

I'm 20 years old, and currently working and going to school.

I first started noticing something was wrong with my relationship with food when I was 13. At that time I was probably around 4'11" and weighed 130 pounds. My parents had gotten a divorce two years earlier, and I had just moved in with my dad. He was very strict about healthy eating, and would have my sister and I weigh ourselves daily.

That's kind of where the rituals started. I was already weighing myself everyday, and I would notice on days that I ate less, I'd be two to three pounds lighter. "Well, that's easy, eat a little less, weigh less"

But then it turned into almost a competition of how long I could go without eating. I guess because it was the only control I had, and I was tired of being the awkward/chubby girl.

I plateaued at 111 pounds about a year later. And that's when I started plastering my walls with pictures of thin girls, keeping a diary of what I was allowed/did eat that day. I also ate in secret. I don't know why I felt embarrassed to eat in front of my family, they never told me I couldn't, or asked why I ate so much, or anything to that extent. Presumably, I was just ashamed of myself.

Then I would binge eat when everyone went to bed. Then I would purge in the shower, because it made me feel cleaner, I suppose.

I even started abusing stimulant laxatives, and that lead to my gull bladder being removed and being put in therapy at age 16.

I've been in recovery, with little to no anorexic/bulimic/binge eating rituals or tendencies for three years.

But just recently, I broke up with a really shitty boyfriend, and met an awesome guy. Except, he's into skinny, fit girls. And now, I'm not either. I've already started to cut back what I can eat. I've already started a meal planning and calorie counting diary, and I know my old habits are coming back. Which, part of me is really glad for, because part of it is so therapeutic (as ironic as it sounds) to have control, and to feel powerful when you succeed in saying no to all your temptations.

But the part of me that went to therapy is telling myself how unhealthy it is, how much my family loves me and doesn't want to see me do this to myself again.

And I live with my new boyfriend, and I'm afraid he will find out. I don't need him thinking I'm too messed up to be with, or it's just too much to deal with in a new relationship.

But I want this so bad. I guess I just need confirmation that it's okay to not be okay. That I don't have to be ready to fix myself.

Sorry for how long this is, especially as a new user. Just the last month has been me thinking all these things, and no one to talk to.

[Discussion] hello :)
/u/silver_sylph [5'8" | 112.6 | 16.97 | -32 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 18:10:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41m540/hello/
---
I've also been a lurker for a while but finally overcame my shyness to make a post.

I'm in my mid-twenties, in graduate school. I feel like I should never have been admitted - I'm too stupid and lazy to do things right. I can't learn anything. The only thing I've been successful at recently is losing weight.

People have been starting to notice. I get compliments now - "you look so good!" "wow, I could never go that long without eating!" - and I feel strong. I work out for three hours without eating anything beforehand and people talk about how motivated I am and how fast I can run. This morning while I showered, I could see my deltoid and both my pectoral muscles moving in my shoulder.

I'm glad that I live with roommates, since we all eat dinner (or not...) separately and we're at work during the day so I can skip meals and no one notices. When there are other people in the kitchen I can't prepare or eat food and my roommates really help me out when I'm restricting. Not that they know.

When I was about 12 and running track I was underweight, just a bit, and a doctor told me my weight was "perfect". When I gained more as I grew up, I was still in the middle of the "healthy" BMI range but my family made fun of me constantly for being fat. "Look at the belly on her!" and the funny thing is that both my parents are frankly quite overweight. I don't have anything against fat people (I wish everyone could be happy and healthy at whatever weight suits them, bullying people for their weight is totally wrong) but it was a real pot-kettle situation.

I think my weird relationship to eating started then. I would try to "restrict" but I didn't know what I was doing - I thought if I ate once a day but that meal was a hotdog and potato chips that was ok. I'd pig the fuck out on chips and cookies when everyone else was asleep. I'd buy myself treats and then everyone else would eat them before I had a chance. When I go home my mom complains about how fat she is then peers at what I'm eating/not-eating and makes comments all through the meal.

I was inpatient on a ward for non-ED reasons when I was younger. My best friend had AN and seeing how staff "treated" her convinced me that these people are either deliberately stupid or malicious. Every time someone brings up ED treatment around me as an unalloyed good, no downsides, I want to laugh in their face but I can't. Sitting at a dinner table with people spouting dumb opinions about what they think people with AN are like and what they "need" is so fucking hard. I'm honestly glad my practice with food helped me restrain myself from saying something nasty. The best part is that when I was discharged, they wrote in my plan "monitor body dissatisfaction" and yet the doctor I'm seeing now for adhd hasn't checked my weight (or even asked about it) once.

I'm sorry this post is so long. I have no one in my life I can talk to about this huge part of who I am.

[Help] I have Ā£15/ day to spend on food from my work. Help me not binge.
/u/Shrinkinglily
Created: Mon Jan 18 17:33:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41lzlt/i_have_15_day_to_spend_on_food_from_my_work_help/
---
I get my food expensed up to Ā£15 a day for the next few weeks. Do you have any suggestions on good things to eat for when money's no object? I doubt I'd get the money back if it's things that obviously wouldn't be eaten that day (or I'd be stocking up on vitamins, herbs etc!), and I doubt I'll have access to a fridge. Any ideas for low-cal/filling things you'd buy if you could afford? Or things that will keep?

[Help] [Q] If you have been underweight...
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 114 | 18.4| F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 16:51:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41lstd/q_if_you_have_been_underweight/
---
Did you notice it in your health? If so, at what BMI did you start to have problems, and what did you experience? And if you think you have done some damage, at what BMI did you start to notice it?

I weigh 110 (lowest weight yay!!) as of this morning, which is a BMI of 17.7 I don't think I look underweight but technically I am. These might be signs: I am so cold, but that might be because it has been (finally) freezing here, and wel.. It's winter, so it really is cold outside. And my hair is falling out, but that's not something new, when I frequently dyed my hair it was way worse... * I am also constipated a lot (sorry, TMI) so this might be a sign of hormonal issues. Should I be concerned?

(Edit: title should say: - have been or are -)

[Discussion] How she can be that thin eating like that? I don't know if I feel jealous or disgusted :(
/u/worldtelex
Created: Mon Jan 18 16:19:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41lnmd/how_she_can_be_that_thin_eating_like_that_i_dont/
---
More than 3000 calories, how is that posible?

[Goal] I just completed my first 3 day fast!
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 16:00:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41lkhg/i_just_completed_my_first_3_day_fast/
---
I honestly didn't struggle as much as I thought I would. I fasted Thursday night through Sunday night, I broke the fast then to have dinner with my boyfriend. This is my first deliberate lengthy fast. Full disclosure, my calorie count wasn't completely zero. Friday and Saturday I had a short triple latte, so ~150 calories from milk for the whole weekend. I figure it was a good tradeoff since the espresso suppresses my appetite and it gave me something to focus on. I haven't had a chance to get to my scale and see what the weight loss is yet.

Anyway, this went really well for me, I'm going to try intermittent fasting.

[Discussion] Intros are fun.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 18 15:21:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ldtb/intros_are_fun/
---
[deleted]

[Help] What are your motivators?
/u/PurpleRain16 [5'5" | 121lbs | 19.6 | F | GW:105lbs]
Created: Mon Jan 18 14:27:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41l4b1/what_are_your_motivators/
---
What are the things that really keep you going when you are struggling to lose weight? When you are about to give in and binge? I've been doing ok recently but I can start to feel myself starting to struggle :/

[Help] How to combat munchies?
/u/checkplz [5'6" | 145 | 23.5 | -17 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 14:23:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41l3hv/how_to_combat_munchies/
---
I do super well restricting all day, usually not eating anything except occasionally a small dinner (<200 cals).

However, my friends and I smoke weed at night and getting high completely interrupts my self-control so I binge without realizing it. We have a convenience store in my uni dorms and we typically hit it up after smoking, so I can't help myself but to buy terribly fatty and high-cal snacks. There aren't even any healthy options available.

I don't want to have to stop smoking because it helps mitigate my depression, but when I binge I completely hate myself. Do you guys have any tips to avoid the munchies and giving in to temptations? I can't handle seeing the number on the scale increase or stay the same the morning after a munchies binge after doing so well during the day.

What are your motivators?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 18 14:16:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41l25s/what_are_your_motivators/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I can't stop binging.
/u/allthatyouhave
Created: Mon Jan 18 13:47:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41kx09/i_cant_stop_binging/
---
I started new medication last week (Zoloft and Zyprexa) and it's making me absolutely ravenous. I have no willpower, I just keep shoveling calories into my fat face. I don't know why I can't stop, I'm caught in the binge/purge/restrict/fail/repeat cycle.

The past three days especially have been hell. I actually had to stop typing so I could go vomit. I have no control over myself, I can't look in a mirror, I feel ashamed and disgusted and hopeless. My boyfriend knows something is wrong because he keeps asking if he needs to call someone.

I almost want to go to the hospital but I would miss school and it's only the second week. I feel absolutely miserable and worthless. Which makes me want to stuff my face. I am a total wreck.

Edit: I vomited up all 1000cal I ate for lunch so now my stomach is empty and I hate myself because I need something in my stomach or I'm going to go insane.

[Discussion] Intro - Me and ED
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 13:18:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41krmo/intro_me_and_ed/
---
I've been on here for a few days but never did an intro... my bad. I am a 30-something woman who became a teen in the 90s, and always have had issues with eating. I remember sneaking food because I was a latch-key kid and it was one of my only pleasures - that an masturbating. I would love when my parents would leave me at home at 6 or 7 and I could raid my dad's porn stash or watch skinemax... and eat. I could eat whatever I wanted until they got home. I would have to be sneaky, but nobody suspected I had eaten like all the poundcake or all the cool whip. Maybe they did and didn't care. Idk.

I was severely bullied all through school. And I do mean severely. I was beat up every day. I would come home and cry with an unstable family life haunting my nights. I wanted to be accepted by my peer group. I wanted to have a peaceful family. I wanted to be loved. As I got older and became a teen I started noticing that I didn't have a sexy teen body like I wanted. I began starving myself. Then purging. I was depressed. I rebelled. I put my parents through hell. A couple suicide attempts, arrests, and drug rehabs later and I was off to college. Only then did I for the first time feel desired. But this was the height of my ED. I would get mini boxes of cereal and snack on those all day (one piece of cereal melting in my mouth over an hour, totaling 150 cals a day). I rode my bike everywhere. I was starving and about to pass out constantly. But I had more male attention than I ever had in my life. I began drinking a lot. My life was a blur of drugs and alcohol. I "sobered up" after I got married... I started working and finally finished my degree and had a baby. 10 years later I divorced and now dating an asshole for three years. Life goes by fast... now I'm overweight (according to me, not doctors, but at almost 160 its the heaviest I've ever been, including when pregnant). I hate myself and my body. I'm depressed all the time. I feel like my younger boyfriend resents me and thinks I'm gross. I worry about putting my sickness on my kid. I'm broke and ugly and fat and I hate my job. Other than that, life is peachy... how are you?

Feel free to AMA....

[Discussion] Intro :)
/u/m0t0cr0ss [5'2 | 120.4 lbs | 22 | -11.2 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 12:47:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41km87/intro/
---
Thanks to anyone who reads this :) I couldn't find a guide on what exactly I'm supposed to say in here so I apologize if I include not enough info or too much.

I used to have issues with eating throughout high school, where my lowest weight was 100. After high school until recently (I'm 22 now), I've had periods of fasting and restricting.

For the past while I've been doing great not worrying about calories and eating. I started dating this guy last June and for a while all my issues disappeared because I was so happy.

Eventually things went sour and a couple days ago after dating for 7 months, we had a messy break-up over really dumb fights and now he wants nothing to do with me. Since that night (Friday) I haven't eaten, and now 3 days later I've lost 6 pounds. I was 131, I'm now 125.

I think our break-up is the push I needed to get back into this. I hated my body while dating him, but he usually made me feel good about myself and I didn't want my disordered habits to harm our relationship. Now, it doesn't matter. and plus, it's even more motivation for me because I'm still going to have to see him on a regular basis.

My ultimate goal weight as of right now is 90. My goal weights along the way are 115, 110 (only 5 pounds because I tend to plateau here), and 100.

I do have one question if anyone can help, I see a handful of users have been posting about the ECA stack. Where can I possibly find something with ephedrine, like Primatene or Bronkaid? I've noticed some are finding the pills at places like Walmart, CVS, and Walgreens but I don't see these products listed on their website? I'd assume that if they sold them, even behind the counter, that they'd at least list that they carry the product right? I live on the east coast of the US so... I'm not sure where to find luck.

Well thanks for reading!

[Discussion] I might get primatene?!
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 12:13:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41kfwb/i_might_get_primatene/
---
I live in Europe, so I can't buy it here. My boyfriend has a friend over in the US who sends him packages of whatever he orders online because it's cheaper or something. He needed some stuff to fill up the package and I just told him he should get primatene or bronkaid. He's gonna ask him right now and I'm really nervous if I can pull this off, lol. I want to try this so baaaad.

How much does it actually cost?

[Help] trouble sleeping with primatene- any advice?
/u/lesoleiletlalune [5'4" | 130 | 22.75 | -30 | f]
Created: Mon Jan 18 12:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41kduk/trouble_sleeping_with_primatene_any_advice/
---
I've taken primatene the past 2 days, just one pill for the whole day, one half taken when I get up around 11 or 12 and one half taken around 3 or 4. I don't go to sleep until at least nine hours after that, so it should have worn off. the two nights after I've taken it, I've barely slept at all.

I have bipolar so I take an atypical antipsychotic before bed that helps me sleep, but it doesn't work if I'm really manic. I always had insomnia until I started taking saphris. I don't feel really manic, maybe slightly, but not enough to make it so I don't sleep. the primatene could be affecting my brain chemistry and making it think that I'm manic? maybe I'm taking it too late in the day? I'm taking it with a low dose of caffeine when I take it later in the day and caffeine affects me pretty strongly. maybe I should just take the primatene on its own if I have to take it in the afternoon? I'm trying just taking one half this morning with caffeine and no more for the rest of the day. if I still can't sleep I guess I will just have to stop taking it. I don't want to stop taking it because it really helps curb my appetite. it helps a lot. I love it. and I haven't been experiencing any other negative side effects.

I know I should talk to a doctor about it, but I know they'll just be like, "primatene? why are you taking that? you don't have asthma. don't take it." so that wouldn't be helpful.

so I guess I'm just wondering if any of you have run into this as well and if you have any advice. thank you!

[Rant] "Wow dude, you're really going at it."
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 11:44:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41kamx/wow_dude_youre_really_going_at_it/
---
Last night I binged a bit. I was in the kitchen putting 2 TBSP total peanut butter on 6 oreos and my housemate walks in, says that to me, and left the room.

WTF DUDE.

I just... I keep thinking about it. I'm going to resume fasting today and it's been fine and easy. I'm just so upset that he could say that to me. I am a size 0/2 and this is the second time in the last week he's given me shit for "eating too much". ALL YOU EAT IS BURRITOS FUCKER.

UPDATE: I called him because I couldn't deal with waiting all day to talk with him. I said, "What you said was not appropriate and made me feel the need to justify my dietary choices to you."
And he said "You're overreacting, that was a joke."
Uh. Fuck you bro. I don't care if you think I'm overreacting, don't say anything like that to me again. Jokes at my expense are not appreciated. I mean he literally came into the kitchen JUST TO SAY THAT TO ME. What is his problem?

[Help] Anyone ever tried SlimQuick (US)
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 11:33:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41k8vi/anyone_ever_tried_slimquick_us/
---
Just bought a bottle as well as sudafed. Ingredients-wise it appears to be like xenadrine or hydroxycut, but with more vitamins geared toward women like vitamin B6.

[Discussion] Let's have a casual chat thread
/u/acadavia [5'3| 96.8 | 17.4| F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 09:15:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41jlb0/lets_have_a_casual_chat_thread/
---
I have a lot of stuff on my mind but none of it is important or interesting enough to merit making a whole post about, and I'm guessing there are others who feel the same. So here's a thead for all of us to just chat. How's your day going? What are you thinking about? Vent away.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 18 09:02:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41jjax/daily_food_diary_january_18_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 18, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Tip] This was posted in another sub. I definitely needed to see it today. Hope it motivates someone else too.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 18 08:33:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41jeta/this_was_posted_in_another_sub_i_definitely/
---
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/gHwYy

[Rant] I've been lied to.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5| 105,4 | 17.75 | 9,2 F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 08:23:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41jd5l/ive_been_lied_to/
---
I have been in treatment for almost 9 years, and I'm getting quite tired with it.

For years they have been telling me that the ONLY way to avoid binging is to eat regularly. And enough. That I can't diet if I want to get out of binging/purging-cycle. I have believed them, and have tried to divide my calories between 4 or 5 small meals. But no matter, most nights I'm still either binging and purging or really battling with myself to not to.

However, last week I was fed up with my weight staying stable, and decided that to hell with it and on Friday I skipped lunch, and snack. In the evening I ate a small dinner with mostly veggies and didn't feel like eating anything more, let alone binging. Saturday went the same.

But on yesterday I decided to eat breakfast and lunch because I started to doubt myself, and damn was I ravenous in the afternoon. I ended up binging and purging at 4 pm.

Okay, those two days might have been just luck, and they are right after all, but I'd like to believe that's not the case. Now I finally feel hopeful about my weightloss and feel like I'm actually able to restrict. I really hope this is the way out of binging and purging.

[Goal] One week at a time
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 18 08:05:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41jaki/one_week_at_a_time/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] When Victoria's Secret does their semi-annual bra sale and you're not sure what size you'll be in a month from now.
/u/anathrowaway123
Created: Mon Jan 18 07:55:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41j944/when_victorias_secret_does_their_semiannual_bra/
---
http://i.imgur.com/KU0yBnq.gif

[Goal] I'm getting off my butt today!
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 131.2 | 22.96 | -28lbs. | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 07:43:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41j7d6/im_getting_off_my_butt_today/
---
I'm just putting this out there in the universe so I have some accountability. I have had a nasty chest cold/bronchitis for over a week. I haven't been able to run. I feel sluggish and flabby. But you lovelies have motivated me this morning. I can't do high impact cardio, but I can do SOMETHING. I'm going to put on a yoga video when the kiddo takes her nap this afternoon. It's not as much as I'd like to do, but it's better than nothing. I'm tired of this cough keeping me down. Thanks for the encouragement!

EDIT: Did 20 minutes of yoga and some crunches!

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! January 18, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 18 05:03:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41io2a/weekly_stats_update_january_18_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for January 18, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant] I should have waited to go to New York
/u/pepto_bitchmol [5'4 | 128 | 22.40 | -49.5 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 18 03:15:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41idfp/i_should_have_waited_to_go_to_new_york/
---
I just walked in the door. I'd been putting this trip off for ages, for various reasons, but over the past few months it's been because of my weight. New York City was my motivation. I wanted to feel chic and desirable while I drank cocktails and nibbled on brunch. I wanted one my friends, who I haven't seen in years, to be blown away by my transformation. I just wanted to fit in with all the other beautiful, skinny people here.

I was out of excuses when I was invited this time, and I happened to hit my lowest weight yet, so I decided it was time to go. I squeezed into my size 10 H&M pants and jumped on the bus last minute and went. I won't say it wasn't a good time, and maybe I did romanticize it too much. I just wish I'd waited. I'll be so fucking pretty another 15lbs down...maybe if I waited I would have caught someone jealously assessing my outfit on the subway. Maybe if I'd been daintier, my friend would have been too enchanted to ditch me one night. I would have had the confidence to go out more, instead of standing in front of the mirror at my sister's house psyching myself up to leave the apartment. If I had any fucking self control I would have had such a better time.

Anyways, on the bright side, I burned way more calories than I ate every day (thank you walking and decent weather), and I really did have a good time overall. I'm just feeling a little regretful now that it's over...it's been my weight loss motivator for so long.

[Rant] when restricting...
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Mon Jan 18 01:43:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41i4pb/when_restricting/
---
I feel like the only thing im good at in life is sticking to a diet... except right now im not even losing what i want too so maybe not. urgh

[Rant] Late Nights
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 155 | 24.2 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 22:35:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41hjxs/late_nights/
---
This is going to be a little bit of a rant, but I just need to vent. So, I've been doing super well restricting this week. I've finally gotten enough motivation to realize binging honestly isn't worth it. (Let's see how long this lasts) Since Christmas, I've lost 12 pounds! Honestly this is the most weight I've lost consistently in my whole life. I always get to the point where I'm seeing results, but not quick enough and I give up. I haven't been 156 pounds since I was probably 15. I know thats still nowhere near where I want to be and I know I should be happy, but every time I look in the mirror it kills me. I gain all my weight in my stomach, so every little thing I eat is super noticeable. I've been restricting to about 800 calories a day for the past week and I've lost about 4 pounds, but I still feel gross. I'm purging the most I've ever done in my life and the bad part is that it's working. I need to keep my calorie intake low, but I love food ugh. I don't know if I'm just getting used to such few calories, but I'm constantly starving. Purging is the only way I feel like I can enjoy food. I've gotten to the point where every time I eat I begin to feel nauseous. I just want that empty feeling stomach without the dizziness of not eating. Times like these make me want to just say "screw it." I'm so tempted to just go get fast food and destroy all my progress, but I know better. It's like an endless cycle that I know I'll never get out of.



[Rant] So let me tell you about my horrible binge
/u/rainbowsunshinedust [5'5 | 109 | 18.35 | GW 95 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 20:53:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41h60z/so_let_me_tell_you_about_my_horrible_binge/
---
I'm pretty much what you'd call drunkorexic. But these past 2 days I have fucked up so bad. I've been eating so much shit and instead of having my usual low calorie drinks I've had 6 22 oz margaritas, cheese dip, chips, tortillas, goldfish, and 3 fucking cheese filled pepperoni croissant rollups. If i did a sit up right now I'd probably blow chunks. And seriously yesterday I drank a fuckload after I did a great job at the gym and reconnected with an old friend that led me to 20 more drinks and so many snacks on top of actually eating breakfast that day. I am so upset right now. How do you go from 106.7 to 144.4 in TWO FUCKING DAYS. Just kill me please.

[Discussion] Any "big" proED users want to share their stories? Sometimes I feel like a fraud pretending to have an eating disorder and still being as overweight as I am.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 17 20:01:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41gyq0/any_big_proed_users_want_to_share_their_stories/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Another intro.
/u/amyrj28 [5'2" | 106 | 20.08 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 19:43:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41gw4o/another_intro/
---
Hi. I'm pretty new to reddit in general so apologies if I do anything wrong here. I've been lurking on this sub for around 2 months now but been too scared to make a first post until now lol.

I'm a 30 year old woman from.the UK, and had eating issues on and off since I was young. Everytime I'd get stressed, I'd restrict. A few years back then I started restricting for longer amounts of time but also started purging and using laxatives. I received support from that and while I did get better than I was, the thoughts and feelings towards food never really went away completely.

This year has been a hard year for me as my physical health hasn't been great either, and a few months ago I had to spend a week on a psych ward for my depression and anxiety. Everything was getting out of control before my admission so I was trying to control it through restricting food and having more fast days. I also self harm at times and have taken 4 overdoses in the past 2 months or so.

I've been placed with a Cpn now so she helps keep an eye on me and such, but she's wanting to work on my food issues now, which I'm not sure I'm ready to address. She weighs me once every 2 weeks and gets me to keep food diaries. I honestly don't know if I want to recover from it. I still have 8lbs to go to get to my goal weight. They can't force me I don't think because my bmi is still in the normal range despite having lost 2.5stones since the end of October. I'm still desperate to reach my Gw.

I don't know how to flair because I'm on mobile but my stats are female, 5ft 2ins and 7St 8lbs which I think is 109lbs. Anyway I'm not sure what I want from posting this but you all seem like a great supportive bunch and I'd like to be a part of that If you'll all have me lol.

[Rant] [Rant] Hopeless feelings, Disappointing self
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 17 19:27:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41gtvb/rant_hopeless_feelings_disappointing_self/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Has anyone ever done a mono?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 19:20:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41gswe/has_anyone_ever_done_a_mono/
---
I'm thinking of doing a mono diet and I was wondering if anyone had any experience with them?

I'm thinking of doing either a chocolate, peanut butter, oatmeal or egg mono.

If anyone has any insight, I'd love to hear it

Edit: I've decided that I will do an oatmeal mono tomorrow

[Discussion] Tell me something that you like about yourself.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 18:26:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41gkyi/tell_me_something_that_you_like_about_yourself/
---
It can be physical, mental, psychological, whatevs.

Just for a change of pace. We may feel like a complete wreck sometimes, but we have some awesome parts too.

I have great posture. I've been told I have a very intimidating walk and my posture is good enough for the royal palace. I agree. I've worked hard to correct my slouching and it shows.

Now your turn. What is awesome about you?



[Rant] I stopped being bulimic for a few months. Now I'm a total fucking fatass who binged no purge.
/u/StayWoke2000 [5'10 | 153 |22.1| Weight Lost |F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 18:18:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41gjqa/i_stopped_being_bulimic_for_a_few_months_now_im_a/
---
Not only that but I moved to a new school of rich pretty and SKINNY girls so the body hate got a lot worse. I'm crying because of how many chips, cans of soda and fries I ate today.

The clothes that were getting lose fit me again. My bra size is now a 32 double D. Which is a sign that I gained a lot of weight because that's where it goes first. I cant even sit down because of how my thighs expand.

I hate myself

Tomorrow it's a 3 day water fast. Then back to calorie restricting. I eat like a pig and im way to old for this shit. I'm 5'10 but I got to be 110 lbs before I turn 16 in may. I know that when people say shit like "curvy" "thick" its to make me feel better and even if I did look like that I don't want to. I want to be skinny. Very skinny.

I hate myself and my body and who I am as a person and my face and my hair and my skin and what I look like as a whole so much that I cry myself to sleep most nights

[Help] About to start my first 24 hour fast- any tips?
/u/Skinnyinthemaking [159cm | NOT LOW ENOUGH | 19.5 | -2.2kg | F | GW: 42kg]
Created: Sun Jan 17 17:38:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41gdsq/about_to_start_my_first_24_hour_fast_any_tips/
---
This is an entirely new experience for me but I feel like being able to go a full day without food is a relatively large milestone seeing as I usually have a lack of discipline (which explains the many binges...).


Because I've never done this before, are there any tips you guys have for resisting food and getting through the day?


I'm aiming for 24 hours but 36+ could potentially happen if I can find a way for people not to get suspicious.

[Discussion] Another introduction!
/u/canwefloat [5'4.5 | 123 | - 8 | | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 15:58:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41fy3s/another_introduction/
---
Hey there, I visit this sub every day so I figured I could finally (formally) introduce myself. This is long so feel free to skim, haha.

My ED developed when I was 11. I was a chubby kid, and got made fun of for being chubby in school.

One day I was eating ice cream and my stepmom matter-of-factly remarked, "be careful about eating so much, or you're going to get fat". Even though I was teased and knew I was bigger, it never bothered me until that moment. My actual mom told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world almost every day since I was born, and I was very confident in myself. I lived in that world. I didn't think or care about how my body was perceived by other people. It literally just did not register to me. The remark wasn't malicious, but for some reason it just kept repeating in my head over and over, for the next few years. I didn't eat less, but now whenever I ate I thought about how it could make me fat. I felt guilty eating from then on, but still did it.

Fast forward to high school. I slowly start to care more about what people think of me as being made fun of gets meaner and more specific. My first year was pretty bad. I flew under the radar mostly unless someone wanted to tease me for not shaving my legs or having a belly that stuck out farther than my boobs. I wasn't ugly, but I didn't wear makeup or care about the clothes I wore.

Then over the summer, things changed rapidly. I decided I had enough. I wanted more friends and to not be made fun of. I consciously decided to look as good as I could. I went from about 140 lbs to 110 by just not eating and sleeping all day. I watched makeup tutorials on YouTube, and saved up money to buy a hair straightener and new clothes. I practiced laughing cutely in the mirror. I brushed my teeth for an hour straight to make them whiter. I spent all summer perfecting my look. I shaved my arms (hahaha oh gosh this was so weird) and my legs. I didn't love myself anymore, and I wanted so desperately for other people to love me.

It worked. It was easy. I started to want to control more things than just my look. I wanted my grades to be perfect. I wanted my life to be perfect. If things weren't organized and clean, I would have anxiety attack. I would cry for hours if I lost anything, even if it was just a pencil. I wanted to be in control of absolutely everything in my life. I felt myself falling apart. But for some reason, being the girl a lot of guys had crushes on made it worth it. Being the cool one. The one people asked for dating advice or help with math. I was admired, so I could deal with being miserable.

Gradually my weight crept in to my mind more and more. Apart from just feeling general guilt while eating, I felt like with every bite my whole life as I knew it was at stake. My attractiveness, my popularity. And I began to heavily restrict.

Eventually within the next year and a half or so I had a come to Jesus moment, made good nerdy friends, read more, became interested in philosophy and feminism and history, things cool girls don't get into. I started to care less about what people thought again. I was body positive and happy and having fun with my life. My senior year I had transformed again. I went back up to 135, but I had also grown about 6 inches from middle school to my height now. I wasn't fat, but wasn't thin. I was just normal. And fine. I still felt guilty with every meal, but it was in the back of my mind and blocked mostly my feminist ideology and self confidence.

Can I just say, I am a shallow person. I'm intelligent and excel in school and work, but I am about as deep as a puddle when it comes to my innermost feelings and struggles. In spite of all I think and believe, I really just want to be pretty. I want to be a pretty girl.

And so it grew in my mind. I started to look at myself with disdain. My thighs are huge. I have a stomach pouch. My arms are literally the most gross pieces of flab I've ever seen on a person. My boyfriend constantly tells me he loves my body, and is nothing but faithful and supportive. (Quick side note: he's probably perfect and I don't deserve him. He tells me I'm beautiful every day and makes me laugh like no one else can. He rocks)
But I'm still not satisfied with how I look. I want to be petite and delicate, but for him too. I want his friends to think he did a great job.

Look, I'm not like a lot of you here. I'm not despressed and I don't hate my life. I don't even think I have anxiety, I just have panicky moments every now and then but they're manageable. My biggest problem in my life right now is my weight. And it's petty, and it makes me sounds like a very dumb girl. And I am a dumb girl. But I just don't want to feel guilty every time I eat. I don't want to be this big anymore. I want to be small and still eat sandwiches like naturally thin girls do. They make me so jealous. The only way I've ever lost weight is by restricting. So for the past few weeks I've been doing and EC stack and restricting. I don't know what my goal is or what I want to look like. I just want to be pretty. I don't care how many people tell me I'm pretty, I want an objective number who doesn't care about my feeling to say so.


So that's me, the good the bad and the ugly. I stopped shaving my arms by the way, so there's that.

[Discussion] What do you feel are some misconceptions about eating disorders?
/u/lord_pterodactyl
Created: Sun Jan 17 12:16:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41exhx/what_do_you_feel_are_some_misconceptions_about/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41exhx/what_do_you_feel_are_some_misconceptions_about/

[Tip] Motivation to fast
/u/litttlelady [5'9 | 115 | 16.7 | -20 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 10:51:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41ejvz/motivation_to_fast/
---
Sometimes when I need motivation to not break my fast, I like to keep tally of how many hours it's been since I last ate [like this](http://imgur.com/QsWSCqx). This way, I always feel terrible ruining my nice, clean restricting high. Does anyone else do this?

[Tip] Good tips for hiding food around the dinner table?
/u/tissueblues [163cm | 48.08kg | 18.2 | -6.35kg | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 10:11:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41edbf/good_tips_for_hiding_food_around_the_dinner_table/
---
I live with my parents and they're constantly trying to force food into me :( Sometimes I wear a long shirt with leggings, so I can stick food at the top of the leggings and the shirt will hang down over it. Then I flush it down the toilet later. Does anyone else have any tips for hiding food?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 17, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 17 09:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41e34g/daily_food_diary_january_17_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 17, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] Parents threatened me to fix my eating habits in a week or I will have to get tested by doctors.
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 07:36:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41dqwm/parents_threatened_me_to_fix_my_eating_habits_in/
---
I am almost 19 and I can make my own decisions, however I still live with my parents and i will be until I start university and get settled. It's a hard period for me as I don't have friends and I don't leave the house, so my eating habits are hard to hide. Today my parents threatened me to fix my eating habits in a week or else they will take me to the doctors to get tested and diagnosed. I am not happy with my body at all, I find It stressful to leave the house because my reflection is far from what I perceive myself as. I'm terrified of gaining weight, when I feel like I have so much to lose. What i'm asking might probably sound terrible, but how can I eat as less as possible with keeping up the illusion that I am trying to get better?

[Tip] My "go to, satiate all the cravings at once, don't you dare eat all those fucking pizza rolls" Meal
/u/BxttleCrow [63 in | 141 lbs | 25.67 | -26 lbs (3 months)| F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 05:58:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41de6z/my_go_to_satiate_all_the_cravings_at_once_dont/
---
I discovered this by accident and so far it's stave off all the bingey feelings.

I get a huge bowl of baby spinach [~20 cals] , like legit a mixing bowl of spinach.
A bunch of mushrooms [~15]
A table spoon of olive oil [~120]
A table spoon of vinegar [~5]

Total - 160 then immediately take a vitamin and drink a glass of water

Another one I use is

A can of green beans ~[70]
A tablespoon of oil [~120]
A can of tuna [~100]

Total ~290

What's yalls?

[Tip] Hey beautiful people, this link lets you put in your kcal budget and how many meals you want to eat and gives you an eating plan :)
/u/Pilkers1 [165 | 141 | 23.49 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 05:24:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41da8n/hey_beautiful_people_this_link_lets_you_put_in/
---
https://www.eatthismuch.com/?ref=reddit

[Discussion] Coming Out of Hiding
/u/BxttleCrow [63 in | 141 lbs | 25.67 | -26 lbs (3 months)| F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 04:25:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41d4uy/coming_out_of_hiding/
---
Hello! This is an intro post.

I've lurked this subreddit for about a month now and felt like it was time to stop being a creeper.

I'm BxttleCrow (call me BC for short I guess.) I'm going to be 27 this year (so old I know!) and I've been eating disordered for a very long time.

It started in HS when I would binge to numb the feelings of depression or to control my Self Harm urges. (started cutting when I was 11) It didn;t feel like a problem until I was *18 and +165 lbs.

I decided to "get healthy" and ate a normal amount but I would spend hours on an exercise bike (essentially purging through exercise). I would retouinely exercise until I would collapse. Obviously that isn't sustainable. I lost about 35 lbs (no scale at the time because I wasn't obsessed with my weight I was just "getting healthy")

Then I started reactively eating. I would eat, exercise off those calories, feel bad and then vomit anything I ate.

I started a cycle I couldn't stop, and I discovered proana blogs at the same time.

I was hooked and I wanted to see how low I could get.

Turns out thats only about 104 lbs.

Never could manage to breakthrough that wall.

I "recovered" and gain between 40 and 60 lbs through binging. Obviously I never worked through my actually issues, I just went back to cutting.

But I want to be thin again (and dead but thats secondary.)

As a forewarning I am bipolar. And probably going through a mixed episode right now. (wanting to die, but also feeling like I don't actually need to eat? all signs point to an episode!)

My Goal is to finally breakthrough that 104 wall. Obviously I have a long way to go.

Thanks for reading,
BC

[Discussion] whole 30?
/u/melanin_42
Created: Sun Jan 17 04:11:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41d3pe/whole_30/
---
[removed]

[Rant] Do you think bulimia is worse or anorexia? For yourself personally?
/u/90lbs [66''| 116lbs | 18.8 | 0 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 17 00:40:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41cltf/do_you_think_bulimia_is_worse_or_anorexia_for/
---
I struggled for years as an anorexic, and now bulimia, and while they are both horrible, at least with anorexia you are thin. With bulimia the worse it gets the higher my weight seems to go. And then there is all the food and time you waste binging and purging :( And my teeth are starting to look bad

[Discussion] Does anyone else feel like they were skinnier when they were younger?
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Sun Jan 17 00:13:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41cjhh/does_anyone_else_feel_like_they_were_skinnier/
---
I'm 23, which is probably old to some of you, I don't know the age range on this sub. And I was looking at very old pictures of me on facebook, I was around 17-19. And holy crap I was tiny. I'm sure I grew a little since I grew up. But honestly I was just much more tinier back then. I want to get back to that weight! And I know I can do it, I know it's possible. I can't have any more doubts about myself, I have to believe I can accomplish anything. Just seeing those old photos has gotten me to feel insecure and big.

[Discussion] a little introduction
/u/lesoleiletlalune [5'4" | 130 | 22.75 | -30 | f]
Created: Sat Jan 16 23:43:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41cgns/a_little_introduction/
---
hello!

I have been lurking here for a bit, commenting occasionally on my main account but decided to make a side account so I can really just be myself here. I developed an ED when I was 13 and "recovered" when I was 16 but just went on to gain 55lbs over the next 3 years. I then cycled a lot between relapsing and trying to be healthy/eat normally. I'm 23 now and no longer overweight (haven't been for a while) but not where I'd like to be. I finally feel ready to just give in to my ED. for a while I felt like I was trying to get it back but failing, but recently something clicked and I think I may finally have back the calm, focused ED that I clung to from ages 13-16.

after doing a lot of lurking, I decided to try primatene. tried it for the first time today and it went well. I have been using green and white and occasionally black tea for my caffeine. I'm a little nervous about side effects but I only took one pill today (cut in half and taken as 2 doses throughout the day) and it gave me what I was looking for without feeling like I'm on speed. I will be careful with it. thank you for everyone who provided information about it!

I'm not sure exactly how much I weigh so my flair is just an estimate. I'm also vegan and have bipolar disorder. that's me. thank you!

[Help] How much primatene to take?
/u/AJD11
Created: Sat Jan 16 23:11:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41cd2d/how_much_primatene_to_take/
---
How much do you guys normally take a day? 1 pill a day? a few pills throughout the day?

[Help] I'm new here.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 16 21:57:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41c4e9/im_new_here/
---
[removed]

[Goal] A pledge from me to you
/u/Skinnyinthemaking [159cm | NOT LOW ENOUGH | 19.5 | -2.2kg | F | GW: 42kg]
Created: Sat Jan 16 20:10:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41br5b/a_pledge_from_me_to_you/
---
I ended up binging today, so I've decided to write out what I plan to do until I reach my goal weight starting from the moment this is posted, because telling people what I plan to do somehow makes me less likely to quit.


From now, the 17th of January, I promise to:

-Not eat more than 1000 calories per day, preferably 700 maximum

-Burn off around half of those calories

-Track everything on MFP

-Prioritise what I want most over what I want now, so I will not binge

-Weigh myself every morning before eating

-Try to only eat around people, so they are less suspicious and I end up eating less

-Drink 2+ litres of water per day

-Never have liquid calories

-Use any form of distraction to stop cravings, and never give in to them again

-Eat only when I NEED to, rather than when I just have no motivation or when I'm bored.


...until I reach my goal of 42kg


If any of you guys have your own or any additions to the list then I'd love to hear them!

[Discussion] Weird little things that I started doing. Any of you guys wanna share too?
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 116.4 | 21.29 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 16 18:24:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41bd44/weird_little_things_that_i_started_doing_any_of/
---
I noticed that I started listening to music I only listened to when I was skinny. Even though I loved those songs I couldn't bring myself to listen to them all year because it reminded me of how skinny I was and how I fucked up. Today after 14 months, I started listening to those songs again even though I still need 8 lbs to get to the point that I was in during that time. I feel like they motivate me even more. Been listening to The Cure all day!

Also, I've been keeping my room extra tidy, because when I was skinny, I always kept it perfect. Another thing is that for the first time today, I painted my nails because I don't think my fingers are as chubby and gross. I feel like I'm back to my old habits and I missed them very much.

[Discussion] Safe sushi choices?
/u/astr0zombie [5'7 | 140.6 lbs| 21.9 | -19.4lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 16 17:09:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41b2no/discussion_safe_sushi_choices/
---
So, my boyfriend is taking me to sushi tonight because I got a promotion at work and it's a really sweet gesture and anyone normal would be super excited but I'm feeling anxious and shitty about it because I weighed myself this morning and I'm sure it's water weight- but I was up 2lbs. I'm terrified to eat too many calories and be up even more when I weight myself on Monday.

Sorry for the ramble, I just wanna know like what do you guys get when you have sushi?
I'm trying to go as low calorie as possible as I've already had 210 calorie protein shake this morning. I'm about to hit the gym for an hour, but any suggestions would be great!

Also I'm on mobile so sorry for the lack of proper tagging. I'm just panicking.


**Update:** I got a shrimp avocado roll and I'm estimating it's about 400 calories based on online sources. I burned 410 at the gym just before so really I broke even. I'm trying to be ok with it but I'm full and I kinda wanna purge. Thanks everyone for your help though you're all angels! :)

[Rant] My parents are trying to punish me, but they're just making it easier.
/u/Ayyude-Lmaostorm [5'6" | 125 lbs. | 20.26 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 16 16:54:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41b0g4/my_parents_are_trying_to_punish_me_but_theyre/
---
I found this subreddit a few months ago, but I've never posted. I only subscribed. This is a very private part of my life, so I don't want things in my post history for people I know to see. I've created this new account so I can start posting.

I'm 17, so I still live with my parents. I'm very introverted and severely depressed, so I stay in my room 90% of my day when I don't have to be at school. My parents hate that, but it's not like they're nice to be around, always yelling and insulting me. I've been angry at my mom since she threatened to rape me when she was drunk last year. She could have killed me two summers ago, she's threatened to stab me multiple times, but that was the last straw.

I eat very specific things. My teeth hurt when I eat some things, I can't stand the taste of others, but it's mostly that I have no idea how to cook and no access to ingredients to cook. So I eat instant foods. I've been trying to restrict a lot more lately, but when I get home, I eat like 1000 calories in a sitting and undo my hard work.

Today, my parents went to the store without me, as they have been doing for the past 2 weeks. They say "You always hide in your room, so you never get to go anywhere." and I get angry because they don't buy the foods I eat, even though they know exactly what I like. They're doing it to punish me.

As far as anyone except for me knows, I am fine. No eating disorders. I say that I love my body, I think that I look great, and that I'm not trying to lose any weight. My reality is the opposite. At first I was angry, but I realized that this will stop me from eating a ton. My weight has been slowly going down, but now I can lose a lot quicker. I bike 5 miles a day to get to and from school so I'll need to eat enough to be able to do that, but I don't do anything other than that.

My goal right now is 110 lbs.

This punishment was a blessing in disguise.

[Rant] Menstruation and Birth Control
/u/rawthumbs [5"6' | 118.8 | 19.3 | 26.2 | Female]
Created: Sat Jan 16 16:07:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41atc6/menstruation_and_birth_control/
---
I am experiencing the most painful period of my life. Usually, they hurt for the first day and that's it for the next 3-4 days. Unfortunately, I'm on my first month of birth control, so I assume that's what's *destroying* me.
I hurt, I'm 40 times more emotional, I'm bleeding a lot more, and my stomach is ridiculously bloated. I really cannot take this anymore.
Any experiences with this? Will my period still stop when I've hit a certain weight? I don't want to keep doing this if it's gonna screw me over like this; having light/absent periods is a big motivator for me.

[Help] Do i have an ED?
/u/JoshD_14
Created: Sat Jan 16 15:15:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41al2j/do_i_have_an_ed/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Desire to purge having not eaten
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 16 14:42:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41afxa/desire_to_purge_having_not_eaten/
---
Does anyone else get this? When my bulimia first started as a kid, it was more self harm related than related to food. Truthfully, I still purge more often on tea or water than I do on food and am less likely to purge a big binge than I am to purge for the sake of purging.

[Rant] Binged. Hated it. Not gonna do that again!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 16 13:37:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41a59p/binged_hated_it_not_gonna_do_that_again/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Lovely Lingerie Thinspo
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sat Jan 16 13:03:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/419znh/lovely_lingerie_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/F1oST

[Rant] The Perpetual Frustration of Others not Noticing how Much Weight You've Lost
/u/risingaurora [5'3 | 150 | ~26.6 | -19 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 16 12:16:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/419rpl/the_perpetual_frustration_of_others_not_noticing/
---
I've lost almost 20 lbs.

I have lost 20 pounds of pure weight, no, not water weight, but solid weight and no one has noticed. No one has said anything. I was at 170 pounds and in the worst shape of my life, I was disgusting. Can people not see a difference..?

Only two people in my life know about what I do, one of them already being anorexic already, so of course she notices and compliments me. I am in hell with every binge I go through, I am in hell every time I look in a mirror, and so I do whatever it takes, be it fasting or taking laxatives, exercising till I physically drop, or only drinking tea to make it all go away.

I have lost 20 pounds, and no one has noticed.

Yes, I am still fat, but how does no one say anything when they see such a drastic transformation in a small amount of time? I feel absolutely repulsed that even though I can see the incredibly dramatic difference in the way that my body looks, no one else can. It's frustrating. It's frustrating to be physically in pain for those who won't even notice. Only me seeing the change in myself is just not satisfying enough. I feel sick.

I have lost 20 pounds and no one has noticed.

And I only have 45 pounds to lose until I can be happy.

[Goal] Finally in my first goal safe zone and happy enough to update my flair : ) Cheers all!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 16 11:04:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/419g9w/finally_in_my_first_goal_safe_zone_and_happy/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 16, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 16 09:02:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/418yah/daily_food_diary_january_16_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 16, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] Yoga Thinspo
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 16 01:26:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/417jrs/yoga_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/K3TX1

[Rant] I wish I could go to a fat camp or health retreat.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 16 00:47:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/417g6k/i_wish_i_could_go_to_a_fat_camp_or_health_retreat/
---
Even though I was a normal-sized kid, I always wanted to go to fat camp. I wantee to come back thinner and athletic and perfect.

I want to go to a place where I can hike and swim every day. They'll have lots of healthy foods and all temptations are far away. I get to relax and exercise. Even just a few weeks alone at my house without any money and the fridge only with safe foods.

My mother's boyfriend is going [to this amazing place](http://www.palace.it/en/hotel-espace-henri-chenot.htm) in the spring and I'm so envious.

I just need a mental and physical break. Someone I knew checked themselves into a psych institution for a bit and she said you'd forget often that you were essentially on lock down. You had free time and you'd be helped if you need it, etc.

I need a change of scenery and a change of self.

[Tip] Weight Loss Competition/Binge Free Leaderboard Updates
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 16 00:03:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/417bvp/weight_loss_competitionbinge_free_leaderboard/
---
I've done some major updates to the binge free leaderboard here: http://weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php?id=2 You can now edit and delete calorie logs, weight logs, and status posts. I re-structured the code, so it should run faster.

~~It's not mobile-friendly unfortunately. If someone knows CSS and wants to make a mobile friendly CSS document, that would be cool. Otherwise, I can have a mobile friendly version in a few days.~~

Please tell me about any bugs or weirdness going on or things breaking and not working. That's super helpful to me. I *will* add a metric system soon. Also, if you have any ideas or suggestions, I'm open to hearing them! Working on this has been really fun. Hope you all like it!

Updates:

* You can now view leaderboards for amount of weight loss

* The average weight bug should be fixed.

* And the site is mostly mobile friendly.

* There is some weirdness with entering in calories for Saturday. It will not show up because the timezone was set to UTC and the calorie log shows everything from UTC Sunday midnight onwards. I change the timezone to Pacific default. That might solve issues for next week.

There's a bug with measurements. I'll have that fixed soon.


[Discussion] Internal Conflict?
/u/pcpmasterrace [5'11 | 130.6 | 18.2]
Created: Fri Jan 15 23:17:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41771z/internal_conflict/
---
Do any dysmorphics here experience dissonant thought patterns? One day, for example, I might think, "you need to stuff yourself, you skinny fuck." The next day just follows with compensatory restriction: "you can't eat that, you binged so much yesterday."

[Thinspo] What keeps me going.
/u/crazypinkmoosies [5'9" | 164 | 23.78 | -5 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 15 21:23:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/416tp3/what_keeps_me_going/
---
http://imgur.com/a/setK0

[Help] Dealing with anxiety and paranoia when restricting.
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Fri Jan 15 18:57:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/416bky/dealing_with_anxiety_and_paranoia_when_restricting/
---
I am horribly anxious when I'm restricting and it's the one thing that causes me to binge. I've learned that the second I'm done binging, I'll be calmer (guilty, but calmer) so I give in.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but being hungry makes me feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare. I have no real reason to be anxious, but I am literally terrified and feel like something horrible is going to happen. I remember bad memories from my past and they give me panic attacks. There's nothing a can do other than tell myself the thoughts are only there because I'm not eating and ignore them. Restricting makes me feel like crap and eating makes me feel like a failure. I can't win. I don't know what to do. :(

[Discussion] Yay yay yay!
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Fri Jan 15 17:25:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/415ydn/yay_yay_yay/
---
Over the past week I have plateaued and [freaked out over a calorie miscalculation](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4113jy/well_that_fucking_explains_why_ive_not_lost_any/). I took a boxing class and everything hurts today BUT it looks like I'm going to have to find a way to afford boxing classes from now on because the one I took was enough to break the plateau! Pardon the run-on sentence but I'm so excited!

[Discussion] curiosity killed me but i'm curious who's drinking tonight?
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Fri Jan 15 17:03:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/415v6z/curiosity_killed_me_but_im_curious_whos_drinking/
---
So i know this is sort of off topic or maybe it isn't but as far as drinking goes what are you having and how many calories are you having tonight as far as drinking goes? Cause I know calories concern all of us! I'm drinking a six pack of Stone Delicious IPA and it's 284 calories a bottle or 1704 calories total. edit an hour late i'm feeling it and don't want to drink anymore i'm having a 520 of cal clif bars and 280 cals in solid chicken thighs cause fuck getting hung over and having a hangover binge even though i feel really bad about this :(

I've resisted the binge urge all day!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 15 16:56:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/415u3p/ive_resisted_the_binge_urge_all_day/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Rant. My friend feasting in front of me made me unreasonably angry. Does this happen to you guys?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 15 16:20:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/415ovx/rant_my_friend_feasting_in_front_of_me_made_me/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] I don't think I've seen one of these for a while....What are some of your go-to low-cal snacks/meals?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 15 15:40:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/415iq5/i_dont_think_ive_seen_one_of_these_for_a/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] How much protein do you eat a day? How did you decide on that number?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 15 13:11:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/414usf/how_much_protein_do_you_eat_a_day_how_did_you/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Anyone have advice for going to a friends family dinner?
/u/Darling459
Created: Fri Jan 15 13:06:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/414tz4/anyone_have_advice_for_going_to_a_friends_family/
---
I have been super strict with my restricting and I am terrified now because on Monday night I have to go to my friend's family dinner. They cook a lot and it's Turkish so it's not even things I'm familiar with to even estimate what calories are in certain dishes. I don't know how to plan for this, does anyone have any advice??

[Discussion] Red Bracelets
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Fri Jan 15 12:26:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/414my4/red_bracelets/
---
I'll admit it... I'm an old-head... meaning, I'm probably older than a lot of posters in here, but I could be wrong. Back in the days of Angelfire and Myspace, proED folks wore red string bracelets to identify each other "IRL". I don't know if this has carried over, but I sort of like the idea. It can be a great way to meet new people and find support. Anyone heard of this or participate in it - or have you in the past? The bracelets are simple red string, sort of like those Kabballah bracelets that celebs were wearing in the early 2000s. Other identifying things like tattoos that y'all are aware of?

[Discussion] Who are you secretly competing with?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Jan 15 11:47:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/414g4k/who_are_you_secretly_competing_with/
---
For me, it's a friend who is thinner than me who dated a guy that rejected me earlier this year.

Also my cousin has an ED and is losing a lot faster than me. Granted, she is starting from a much higher weight and is losing 2-3 lbs a day some days, but it's definitely motivated me to restrict harder.



[Rant] My mom took me to lunch today /sigh
/u/thininsp
Created: Fri Jan 15 11:24:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/414bts/my_mom_took_me_to_lunch_today_sigh/
---
I had to bring my mom to a doctor's appointment today and once I was in the car driving she says "oh, we have plenty of time BTW, I thought we could get lunch first!" Ugh. I got a turkey wrap and took most of the tortilla off, took off the cheese, pushed away a lot of the turkey, didn't use the mayo and only ate half of it. The calories didn't amount to much, but I feel disgusting for eating what I did since I didn't plan to eat lunch today. I don't know where I'm going with this other than I am miserable over it :-(

[Rant] I am a burrito
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 15 11:10:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4149i0/i_am_a_burrito/
---
Sometimes when I binge on a food, I feel like my entire being becomes that food. I feel today that I am a burrito.

Last night I got sooooo drunk with my roommates and one of them left to go grab burritos for us all. So he brought me a vegan one from my favorite burrito shop (he's sweet, if I was a normal person this would have been a very nice gesture).

Of course, I ate the whole thing. Then I look up and my housemates have eaten half and are saying they are full. My male housemates got full before I did. Fuck.

And then! One of them looks at me and says "Wow Ssattub, I can't believe you ate that whole thing. You're like a size 2!"

So now Im fasting for three days. I binged a few days ago and this burrito thing... Idk, I need to make it up. So now I'm having 1/3 cup soy milk in my iced coffee and one beer later and then I should only have 1/4 cup soy and broth tomorrow and the next day. I'm excited to clean myself of this awful awful burrito feeling.

[Discussion] Does anyone else go to /r/models for thinspo?
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Fri Jan 15 10:53:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4146mt/does_anyone_else_go_to_rmodels_for_thinspo/
---
... also, sites for "dudes" like theChive and whatnot... these are supposed to be the most desirable women, to heterosexual men, on earth... so why do people try to dissuade us from trying to look like them? I love looking at models... it's why I was obsessed with ANTM...

[Discussion] Tumblr username swap?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 15 09:25:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/413ryp/tumblr_username_swap/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 15 09:02:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/413oc5/daily_food_diary_january_15_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 15, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Rant] [CW Binge list] 10:30 am - already binged :<
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 118 ; 18.5 | GW 111 ; 17.4 | f]
Created: Fri Jan 15 08:40:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/413kye/cw_binge_list_1030_am_already_binged/
---
I have a final today... so my logic switched off pretty early as I tried to feed my anxiety... literally. Its such a weird sense of intellectual absence when you binge... why didn't I go for the carrots but noooo, Hey hi oh hello its me again the peanut butter fiend. FUCK PEANUT BUTTER LOL so I plugged my calories into my fitness pal, and luckily I'm still under my Extreme Emergency Binge calorie goal of 800... but pushing it. I usually restrict to 500, so I feel pretty fucking gross. I didn't measure anything so I just rounded everything up
2 tbs peanut butter (probably) 285 cal
Whole wheat bread (2) 150
Less than 1tsp nutella 100
Almonds (10) 80
Banana 110
= 715

I just want accountability... this is entirely me complaining and shaming myself for bingeing. Im drinking water all day. I already did the workouts I do to start my calorie deficit, but I feel like a failure if I have to work off 700 more when I dont have time to go to the gym right now. My friend wanted to go out tonight and I pretty much said No (good for me! But now I feel guilty!) I should have just got up and chugged an EC stack.... show me affection and scorn because I don't want to eat anything else today :(

No flair because mobile

[Discussion] It's Friday fast day!
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 156lbs | 24 | - 24 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 15 08:34:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/413k0a/its_friday_fast_day/
---
Time for Friday fast! Anyone else doing 5:2?

[Discussion] 10 lbs in 20 days
/u/bigmansam [5'3 |120 | 22.0| 4 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 15 08:06:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/413fx6/10_lbs_in_20_days/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! January 15, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 15 05:03:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/412thd/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_january_15/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for January 15, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

**Remember that anyone can view the contents of this thread even if he/she is banned from this subreddit. If you receive unwanted messages, please contact the mods with a screenshot of the relevant messages. Note that even if we ban people, they can still message you, and they still have access to the contents of this subreddit. The best thing for you to do is to block them.**

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] Wanna share pic of outfit you will wear when you are skinny enough? This is mine!
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 116.4 | 21.29 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 15 03:58:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/412n4r/wanna_share_pic_of_outfit_you_will_wear_when_you/
---
http://imgur.com/zgjkJ9H

[Help] restriction help
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Fri Jan 15 02:44:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/412g0o/restriction_help/
---
[removed]

[Help] Thighs
/u/_wildstrawberries [175 | 80 | 25.67 | M]
Created: Fri Jan 15 00:00:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/412085/thighs/
---
I always remember having bigger thighs when I was younger. I think it's where my body stores fat? Even at my thinnest I don't remember checking if my thighs got thinner. So I'm wondering if any of you guys noticed your thighs / legs got thinner when you calorie reduced? My weight goal is around 55kg.

[Discussion] How do you weigh yourself without obsessing over water weight
/u/lifetc
Created: Thu Jan 14 23:18:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/411vp7/how_do_you_weigh_yourself_without_obsessing_over/
---
Hey guys,

I'm having a terrific time here where even when my scales show a loss I freak out. Sometimes I'm convinced that even if the scale drops, I've still gained but it's hidden because I'm dehydrated. Do you guys have any tips or rules to make sure your scale weight isn't thrown off?



[Rant] binge crazy
/u/anxietyforever [5'6 | GW 100 | EDNOS]
Created: Thu Jan 14 23:17:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/411vie/binge_crazy/
---
So I have this really fun personality disorder called bpd and it makes me feel really empty a lot of the time. So, I end up binging to try to 'fill' what needs to be 'filled'. It never ever works it makes me feel fat and gross, but I always seem to go back to it. The only way I can really get rid of it is forcing myself to do things that take up time. Distracting my attention.

I have really bad anxiety that keeps me from leaving the house and seeing myself as fat doesn't help fix that. It makes it even harder to go outside and having people see me is the WORST. So I usually stay in and since I'm not employed or in school, I can literally sit around for the whole day while feeling all my intense mood swings and emptiness. Which leads to having intrusive thoughts of binge eating and typically acting on them. Even though I feel so in control with restricting, I'm a intensely impulsive person and subsequently have been on and off addictions for a good amount of time.

SO this job thing(i'm trying to get hired for multiple reasons but this is the most in my face reason) and later getting back into running will help me out so much with being 'in control'. I've also been trying to buy myself a weight scale to kinda be able to put a number on what I've been doing. (since without one I feel like the consequences aren't as concrete, while still ironically panicking over all my binge shit. i reaaaally hope the weight i gained isn't a lot, i was so so happy with all that I had lost when i was restricting properly)

wish me luck, I have an interview on Monday. and am going to TRY to fast until then. xx

[Help] Calories and purging?
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 155 | 24.2 | -30 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 22:15:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/411o7b/calories_and_purging/
---
This has probably been asked before, but how soon after eating do calories get absorbed? After a binge I always end up purging, thinking that I'm getting rid of at least some of the calories.

[Rant] I am such a failure. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am at my wits end.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Thu Jan 14 22:12:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/411nqu/i_am_such_a_failure_i_dont_know_what_to_do_i_feel/
---
I have binged almost every day for the last 4 days and consumed probably over 3500+ calories every day. I just stepped on the scale and it read 180lbs. no more than a week or two ago I was just below 160 and I have no idea how I could gain 20 pounds in four days...I will do a weigh in in the morning but right now I just feel so disgusted with myself. I can't eat to save my life. I get moody and cranky when I restrict and I feel pressured to eat around my girlfriend and other friends. It is killing me. I feel like if I gain any more weight I will lose it.

I need to get back to 160 then continue with what was my progress but I feel so let down by myself. It will take forever to get back to 160 and with restricting around my girlfriend I will have to eat some times..I can't fast for full days and don't know If I will make it to the gym with all of the motivation taken from me...

I feel so disgusted with myself. I am getting so fat. Who could love a fat piece of shit like me.

[Tip] "Uptown Abs" - fun, quick ab routine
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 21:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/411ees/uptown_abs_fun_quick_ab_routine/
---
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u2EGLIyDkXE

[Help] Will exercise help slim your legs?
/u/AnaplasmosisEbola [5'2 | 98 | 17.9| -10 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 20:53:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/411d69/will_exercise_help_slim_your_legs/
---
I have a tiny thigh gap, even at a not-underweight bmi. I would really like to make my thighs smaller or make my thigh gap more prominent by doing non stressful things like hiking more and walking, but will this make my legs smaller or just bulkier from the exercise?

[Discussion] How do you cope with the lying? Specifically in a relationship.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 14 20:39:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/411b9a/how_do_you_cope_with_the_lying_specifically_in_a/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Well, that fucking explains why I've not lost any weight the past couple of days.
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Thu Jan 14 19:45:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4113jy/well_that_fucking_explains_why_ive_not_lost_any/
---
I'm a fucking idiot and I guess I deserve it. I found out a food I thought was healthy and relatively safe calorie-wise is healthy but high as fuck in calories. I'd been eating it for every meal and I don't know why the fuck I didn't check!! Finally logged it today in myfitnesspal and it was like 3000 calories. Cut to me purging and sobbing in my bathroom. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. At least I started a boxing class today so I burned something but nowhere near 3000 calories! Guess I'll be fasting.

**EDIT- Oh, thank God! The calorie calculator I was using messed up the equation! Not over 3000 calories, more like 460 calories! I'm still under 1000 for the day! Wheeeeew! (But also, what the fuck? Why have I plateaued?)

For those curious, it was Atlantic Salmon. A ~.55lb filet is about 457 calories. The calculator I was using was giving me a total of like 3,018 calories. Either way, that's still a lot of calories so I'm going to start cutting my filets in half from now on and just making extra steamed veggies to compensate for the smaller portions.**

[Thinspo] Fat girl problems (reverse thinspo)
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 19:22:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41106r/fat_girl_problems_reverse_thinspo/
---
http://youtu.be/My8jVUxvd7s

[Rant] Just feeling fat
/u/litttlelady [5'9 | 115 | 16.7 | -20 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 19:00:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/410x0y/just_feeling_fat/
---
I just needed to rant about feeling bloated and disgusting. I gained a pound of actual gross FAT because I let myself drink wine and eat junk food all week. Until this week, I had been restricting so much I had hardly any appetite at all. But now my stomach is used to eating 3 meals a day and I'm feeling hungrier and bigger than ever. Im just feeling disappointed in myself :( anyone else feeling down?

[Help] What do you order at a bar?
/u/IsKrispyKremeaCarb
Created: Thu Jan 14 18:50:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/410vl0/what_do_you_order_at_a_bar/
---
Normally I just get a diet coke and deal with the reputation of "the non-drinker." I can't use the excuse of a prescription because its pretty much all the time. Even a rum and diet coke (my normal one) is still some cals which could be plenty of vegetables that could fill me up, so I only drink if it is "worth it." I'm neutral about drinking, but after awhile, its hard not to do so sometimes during work happy hours or dating. As long as I budget for the cals (no more than 200) I don't mind it. So question, whats a normal drink to get? I'm just asking cause for years I isolated myself because I used to be obese and was very ashamed for it. Then when I lost weight, I got scared of cals. I don't really care what I drink, as long as I don't look too diet obsessed. I'd just like a change in routine. SO - a scotch and soda? I have no idea. What do you all order? I pretty much want to disguise any calorie-fearing "quirks" of mine for social events - around non-friends, like work related stuff where I have drinks with coworkers or I'm still getting to know a guy.

Here's what I've got for a clothes swap
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 14 18:28:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/410sc8/heres_what_ive_got_for_a_clothes_swap/
---
[removed]

[Help] Is it possible to lose 3.8 lbs in just 4 days?
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 116.4 | 21.29 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 18:04:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/410ot0/is_it_possible_to_lose_38_lbs_in_just_4_days/
---
Hello everyone! Sorry if this question is stupid but today was my weigh-in day and Scale says I've lost a supposed 3.8 lbs since the last time I weighed myself on Monday.

On Monday, I started restricting from 700 cals to 350 cals daily but I don't see how this is possible for me. I also got my period today and I Feel bloated as hell. Is this possible!? I do feel lighter and the headaches are killing me though.

I weighed myself multiple times and even tried holding my weights to see if the scale was messed up. Have any of you lost a nice amount in a few days?

[Discussion] Clothing Swap Thread!
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 16:16:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/41086l/clothing_swap_thread/
---
A user had the idea a while back for a clothing swap thread, and lots of people seemed interested so here we go!

Recommendations:

- Do not post photos of yourself in the clothing where possible. Sometimes unfortunate people stumble across the sub and might try to exploit you. Photos of the item only are recommended.

- Sale of clothing is fine, just specify that. Payment information would be given at the buyer's discretion and it's not up to the mods to determine if someone wants to pay you money or not. Just be aware this will be all at your own risk.

- All address swapping info / payment info / specific item questions should be done through PM for obvious privacy reasons.

- If you could delete a post or mark it as taken so there's no confusion, that would be great.

We'll be watching this thread for abuse fairly closely, but if someone is being inappropriate through PMs as a result of this post, please message the mods so we can take care of it.

[Rant] Honestly- I don't know what to think
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 149lbs | 22.7 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 14:49:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40ztqp/honestly_i_dont_know_what_to_think/
---
I guess I just wanted somewhere to write this out... So you can all ignore it if you want.

I've always felt guilty after eating, especially when my stomach was full. It's a horrible feeling. Recently, within the last few years, it's been worse. I'd binge on chocolate and hate myself then purge over and over as if it was going to make me feel any better.

Today, however, it changed. I felt the need to binge all day. I know I can at least stave off a binge through a small amount of what I wanted, often it's pizza, so I'll cut a tiny amount and eat it slowly; it usually works but sometimes it just makes things worse and I binge anyway. Well today, as usual, I bought myself a tiny chocolate bar (119 calories). I knew it would save me from potentially eating myself out of house and home later, which is has although I suspect that is due to the feeling I have now.

I did my usual and put something on YouTube and sat down, bottle of water and something to keep me busy. I snapped off the nose (it was a hippo, ironic really) and made my first attempt at stopping a binge. This nose wasn't no bigger that the top of my thumb. I ate it and it tasted great, it was helping. By the time I got to the second piece, slightly larger than the first, I felt an overwhelming guilt. I'd eaten barely 1/3 of it yet I'd never felt so guilty in my life. I honestly don't know what the hells wrong.. It's like a cheated on an exam, or cheated on a boyfriend or something. All I wanted to do was cry and get this tiny bit of chocolate hippo out of my mouth and stomach. It's not like I ate 500g of it, the whole thing was 20g and I barely ate any..

I guess I just feel like shit, so yeah- you can all ignore this now, or down vote, whatever really. I just wanted to get it all out

[Discussion] Omnitrition Diet
/u/wailwriter [5'9" | 149.6 | 21.69 | -12 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 14:29:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40zq94/omnitrition_diet/
---
Has anyone done this before, and if so how did you like it?? I have done it once before this summer actually, but really half-assed it, didn't do it for the full amount of time and I still had lost 8 pounds. I still have the drops so I thought I should try it again but do it to the best of my ability. My thoughts are that it just gives me guidelines and doesn't allow for me to eat whatever I want. It restricts to 500 cal a day with the drops as well. I think that will also help train my body to get used to eating less, which will help when it's over as I won't overindulge. That's just the theory however, I was interested with your guys's opinions. Thanks :) I hope everyone's having a great day.

[Discussion] Boyfriend going on trip for 5 days, so I want to fast the whole time. Any tips/anyone want to join?
/u/canwefloat [5'4.5 | 123 | - 8 | | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 13:49:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40zjmd/boyfriend_going_on_trip_for_5_days_so_i_want_to/
---
I've only fasted for a day at a time before. Not sure how to approach outside of an EC stack, water, caffeine and cigarettes.

[Discussion] x12 ED-related book PDFs; free on Google Drive
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 10:34:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40ylnx/x12_edrelated_book_pdfs_free_on_google_drive/
---
This one goes out to /u/heyhiohhello, who requested a link to the books I had posted last summer. I figured I would add a post for everyone's sake since we have gained a lot of new members since then.

[Titles include:](https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B3Q11myA6WH7fmdwdk5BYUtIZnRnVFc4eGtuRkNSak5EYmVMcGVEek12RUJXTWw4NldGRzA&usp=sharing)

* Boys Get Anorexia Too (Langley, Jenny)
* Brave Girl Eating - A Family's Struggle with Anorexia (Brown, Harriet)
* Eat - STOP - Eat (Brad Pilon)
* Fighting With Me (Anonymous)
* Hunger Point (Medoff, Jillian)
* Letting Ana Go (Anonymous)
* My Perfect Little Secret (Coppage, Rebecca)
* Skinny Bitch (Freedman, Rory & Kim Barnouin)
* Skinny Boy - A Young Man's Battle & Triumph Over Anorexia (Grahl, Gary)
* Unbearable Lightness - A Story of Loss and Gain (de Rossi, Portia)
* Wasted (Hornbacher, Marya)
* Wintergirls (Anderson, Laurie Halse)

I think I used to have a PDF of Fasting Girls, too. If I can find that then I will upload it as well.

Cheers

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 14 09:02:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40y6j7/daily_food_diary_january_14_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 14, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] I'm fasting today. Does anyone want to join?
/u/psych0candy [5'5" | 173 | 28.8 | -12 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 09:01:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40y6e1/im_fasting_today_does_anyone_want_to_join/
---
I have a big, awesome date with my boyfriend tomorrow and want to at least have my waist look a little trimmer. However, I'm staying at home all day. It would be nice to talk with people on this thread throughout the day for accountability.

Anyone in?

[Help] EC Stack: (How well) does pseudoephedrine work?
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 104.2 lb | 19.74 | -15.8 | Kinda F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 08:02:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40xwv1/ec_stack_how_well_does_pseudoephedrine_work/
---
Hey! I'm looking to start using an EC stack and I was digging around in my medicine cabinet just to see what I already have. I do have ephedrine, but I also have products containing pseudoephedrine and I was wondering if anyone knew how that would affect how well the EC stack worked.

[Goal] I have a thigh gap!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 07:54:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40xvqy/i_have_a_thigh_gap/
---
It's tiny, only an inch, but it's mine and I love it.

[Discussion] What do you consider a binge?
/u/thininsp
Created: Thu Jan 14 06:02:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40xgwf/what_do_you_consider_a_binge/
---
I see people saying that they binged, but it doesn't seem like everyone means the same thing. Do you mean you went over your TDEE for the day? Do you mean you went over the 500/800 calories you normally eat? Like, for instance, I usually eat under 500 calories, but I know on the weekend my husband likes to go out for dinner at least one night. So I plan for it, and I fast prior to it, and then the meal is usually still under my TDEE so I don't worry (too much) that I am going to gain weight. Plus I usually manage to wiggle in some exercise that kind of evens it out a bit. So I am over my usual calories, but I wouldn't consider it a binge.

What do you all consider a binge?

Additionally, what are your tips for emotionally and physically getting back on track after one?

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support January 14, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 14 05:02:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40xaud/weekly_emotional_support_january_14_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Tip] Food Suggestion: Tesco "5 a day Platter"
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 122 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 04:51:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40x9rk/food_suggestion_tesco_5_a_day_platter/
---
Hello all,

I did a post like this a while back, people seemed to like it. Maybe I'll get into the habit of it, if the mods approve?

The Tesco express next to me sells these "5 a day" platters that for 110 calories contain all 5 portions of fruit and veg you need for the day.

They are kinda pricey (~Ā£3) but mine lasted all day yesterday at work. Often they are cheaper with those yellow sale labels.

High nutrition, quite low calorie, v low effort! Supplement with a lot of tea :)

[Rant] Undone all my progress [rant] [tw drinking]
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 122 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 14 04:22:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40x72q/undone_all_my_progress_rant_tw_drinking/
---
I've spent the last three weeks at my parents house after an episode of psychosis. There I've had no access to a scale or really much control over my food. I'm 24, this is stupid.

I've also been drinking wayyyyy too much (I know, does not help the meds, the mental illness or anything in life). I'm sober as of new years and intend to stay as such until the end of January.

Now I'm back in my own place, on my grad course again. But all in all I've gained six pounds in two weeks.

So fucking angry at myself.

Back on track from now on!

restricting
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Thu Jan 14 00:48:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40wnrb/restricting/
---
[removed]

[Help] Anyone know how accurate the Wii u is with calories burned?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 14 00:45:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40wnjl/anyone_know_how_accurate_the_wii_u_is_with/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Chapped Nipples (TMI?)
/u/faebun [5'6 | 137.2lb | 22.1 | 26.8lb | NB]
Created: Thu Jan 14 00:26:20 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40wlmf/chapped_nipples_tmi/
---
Is this an ED thing or is my body just being weird? My nipples are dry and textured strangely and I've never had this happen before.

[Rant] I'm so mad at myself
/u/heytiny [4'11" | 98 lbs | 21.02 | -5 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 22:59:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40wcgi/im_so_mad_at_myself/
---
For the past two weeks I've been restricting to 400 calories or less and today I ruined it by binging on pancakes and hot cheetos (gross combo I know.)

I'm just so upset and I don't know what to do. I feel like I've just put a giant setback to my weight loss and I'm beating myself up about it.

I NEED to get back on track.

(I also want this over stuffed feeling to go away asap)


[Discussion] My ED Brain vs. My 'Normal' Brain
/u/crazypinkmoosies [5'9" | 164 | 23.78 | -5 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 22:55:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40wbwg/my_ed_brain_vs_my_normal_brain/
---
More like 'Abby Normal' brain (someone please get that reference). But on to my point. Ninety-nine percent of the time I look in the mirror and think ugh: tits, tummy, ass, thighs. But once a blue moon I think hey, I'd motorboat that or I'd burry my face in that. Then I'm like wtf NO I'm disgusting. I'm just mortified by the thought that my body is okay the way it is.

I see myself in my head as I was before treatment and I want it back. Small me - that's who I always was. This large, boisterous body is foreign. It offends me. I feel like there is a thick layer of nickelodeon slime encompassing my entire physicality and until it is gone and I can once again see my bones straining against my skin I won't be myself. I am afraid these spontaneous bouts of confidence will keep me from achieving my goals. Ultimately I would like to hang on to the self-confidence but in a much thinner physical form. I am all for self acceptance but only once I achieve my goals. Does that even make sense?

[Goal] My new goals
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW105|18.56|-33|F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 21:40:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40w2ew/my_new_goals/
---
I posting my newest goals as a way to make them "official" and give me some accountability. My goal is to be under 105 Ib by March 15. Thats hardly any weightloss (minimum of 3Ibs) but I feel like I haven't made progress recently. I am thinking of trying to vary my restrictions every other day. I am thinking 850 kcal one day and then 950 kcal the next day and then repeat. Weekends will still be 1200 kcal. I am hoping that this small change will be enough to get my weightloss going strong again. I have not weighed myself in over 2 weeks but I do not feel/ look any thinner in my opinion. I have been kind of bummed out lately because of the cold weather. I have to bundle up so much to not freeze and I feel like I look extra fat with all the layers. I do not have any long term goals because I am really conflicted about hitting 100 Ibs. My bf likes my butt a lot so I dont want it to look deflated like it did when I lost weight last year... so far it seems ok but I worry. I guess I would rather look petite, cute, and dainty as opposed to sickly but there is such a thin line between the two. Ugh I am just rambling now

[Help] GAINED 1LB
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Wed Jan 13 20:52:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40vvvx/gained_1lb/
---
Been eating under 1000 calories for the past 9 days. Lost 6 LBS the first week and then woke up today 1.1 LBS heavier- WTF

been eating the same food- nto working out for medical reasons so i know im not gaining muscle. looked into the mirror but WTF. nowhere close to 3500 EXTRA CALORIES I AM ENRAGED

[Help] What do I say if my doctor finds out and then asks me if my ADHD medication suppresses my appetite?
/u/LiteralMangina [5'7" | 105 | 16.39 | -20 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 20:45:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40vux8/what_do_i_say_if_my_doctor_finds_out_and_then/
---
Long story short, I see my family doc about every 3 weeks for reasons unrelated to my anorexia. I've dropped 20 pounds in two months and I'm sure she's going to notice at some point in the next few visits and weigh me. I've already gotten comments from a nurse family member

Regardless of whether or not she knows about my ED I cannot let her know that it suppresses my appetite the way that it does. My ADHD is so bad that I seriously can't function with out it and I'm already at the lowest effective dose (which is still a high dose for someone my size). I can't even drive off of my meds.

Every way I can picture myself denying the side effect it just feels like it's obvious I'm lying. "God no, I wish" to a flat "No." sound so fake and she knows me pretty well so I'm not even sure if I could be convincing.

Any tips? Being taken off my medication would ruin my life.

[Discussion] Does anyone else hoard food?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 19:53:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40vn9h/does_anyone_else_hoard_food/
---
I always have the best stocked pantry of dry goods and snacks.

Right now I have every meal planned out for a week, but for some reason I still keep buying snacks on my walk home from work. Like... I just bought granola bars two days ago. I grabbed a pastry from the cafe I work at today. I'm not going to eat any of these things. I'm running out of space in my pantry. It's always better stocked than my roommates' pantries.

[Discussion] If you could pick 3 foods to be zero calories, what would they be..?
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Wed Jan 13 18:31:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40vb1b/if_you_could_pick_3_foods_to_be_zero_calories/
---
I think mine would be:
avocados
mozzarella cheese
McDonalds chicken nuggets <3


Looking for motivation
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 13 18:28:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40vam1/looking_for_motivation/
---
[removed]

[Rant] Hate sugar. Mother thinks I'm hypoglycemic. Rage ensues.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 13 17:58:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40v6bt/hate_sugar_mother_thinks_im_hypoglycemic_rage/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Broke my New Years' resolution after 13 days
/u/LilyMae91 [5'7 | 109.5 | 17.1 | 20 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 16:41:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40uuqd/broke_my_new_years_resolution_after_13_days/
---
Right around the Christmas/NY break my restricting became pretty severe. I was eating <200 cal a day. I was purging all the time. I purged one slice of bread. One. Another time I was doing it for about 45 minutes. I was doing it ALL THE TIME. So I set myself a goal: No purging in 2016. And I made it 13 pathetic days.

Today, I had eaten 2 satsumas, and two rice cakes with vegan cheese. Significantly under my limit, I met a friend for a drink at the pub. It wasn't a particularly vegan friendly place so I told my friend that I would eat at home, but he insisted we find something I could have. We settled on sweet potato fries. One portion each. I was trying to eat at normal people speeds and when I looked at his plate he still had way over 70% of his left. He offered me some of his and that was the exact moment I knew I would purge. So I did. One portion of sweet potato fries. It was not even that high cal. So I've ruined my "purge-free" year. Ugh.

Ps: sorry for the wall of text. Also, I cannot flair as I am on mobile :(

[Help] Feeling disgusting and horrible. Is there anything I can do to feel better after a binge?
/u/rainingdeath [1.77m | 58.3 kg | 18.18 | -17.7 kg | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 16:21:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40urhg/feeling_disgusting_and_horrible_is_there_anything/
---
Kind of a rant, but I could really use some tips too.

I'd been binge-free for almost two weeks now and I just had to go and ruin it. :( All leftover biscuits and chocolate from the holidays, probably totaling somewhere between 2000-3000 kcal. It's *so* dumb. I was SO proud of hitting 60 kg the other day, and I was totally looking forward to get below 60 for the first time, which has been my GW like forever, so *WHYYY* did I have to do this?

Ugh. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was that I didn't really like my dinner tonight, and I went looking for something else afterwards. Or maybe it was that my mom told me on the phone that she was looking through some photos from the holidays and she thought I started to look a bit too skinny. You'd think that would motivate me to keep going, but noooo. I remember the first piece of chocolate I grabbed tonight and I was thinking that it wasn't even that good. :/ Urgh, so why'd I have to continue?

I'm scared to go on the scales tomorrow. I feel disgusting when I look in the mirror. My belly is massive and sticking out and I don't know what to do. I'll be cycling and dancing tomorrow, so hopefully that'll compensate a bit. I guess I'll also skip breakfast. I would skip lunch as well, but I don't want to raise suspicion at work.

Does anyone maybe have some post-binge tips? Anything I can do to not feel so bad about myself, or to make the bloated/sick feeling go away?

[Rant] Love/hate relationship with being sick
/u/Skinnywolf9 [5'4" |130.4 | 22.82| -4| F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 13:54:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40u353/lovehate_relationship_with_being_sick/
---
On Monday I rapidly developed a kidney infection. Wonderful. I had been out of work for 8 weeks for surgery/recovery, went back Monday, and BAM...out of work again :( Seriously not cool, I love my job.

So, been home for the past 2 days. I feel run down, and in some pain, and uncomfortable. Which means couch time for me. I had a great exercise routine planned for this week and now it's down the drain. I got a little exercise in today, but I quickly stopped because I felt awful. I'm so upset

Buuuuuuuuut the antibiotics and the illness has made me not want to eat. I am not hungry, my stomach is floppy, and when I eat I only eat a little. Which makes me oddly happy.

EDs are so messed up sometimes

[Help] Is their any good way to balance fasting and restricting
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Wed Jan 13 13:34:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40tztd/is_their_any_good_way_to_balance_fasting_and/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40tztd/is_their_any_good_way_to_balance_fasting_and/

[Tip] If you need a sign not to binge, this is it...
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 116.6 | 19.63 | -39.4 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 13:19:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40tx08/if_you_need_a_sign_not_to_binge_this_is_it/
---
If you haven't read this AskReddit thread yet, it's guaranteed to make you gag!

[Click me ](http://np.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/40s66q/whats_the_grossest_thing_youve_ever_had_in_your/)

You're welcome!



[Help] I no longer feel hunger or fullness???
/u/curiousclementine [5'2 | 117 | 21.4 | 2lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 13:07:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40tv1q/i_no_longer_feel_hunger_or_fullness/
---
I binged for the past couple of days after restricting for 2 weeks and I tried to purge and couldn't and I'm scared that I might have gained a lot. (I can't weigh myself because my mom took the scales out of my house when I was in treatment). I've been purging regularly for about 3 years and it needs to stop because I am having a lot of health issues now (dry skin, eczema outbreaks, tooth decay, and I'm orthostatic) so I decided to cut out the purging and focus on restricting. Purging never made me lose all that much anyway. But since the binging I can no longer feel hunger or fullness even after not eating for 24hrs. My stomach rumbles but I feel full? I tried eating some mango, an apple and turkey slices today even thought I didn't feel hungry I just thought I should eat. Has anybody else experienced this?? Or knows how to make it stop?

[Help] Want to get off laxatives
/u/MiaEdAlt
Created: Wed Jan 13 12:41:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40tq3g/want_to_get_off_laxatives/
---
So I've been lurking on this sub for a while and finally set up an alt account because I haven't seen a particular issue I'm dealing with addressed.

I've been dealing with ED for the past 17 years (I'm in my early 30s), and for the past seven years or so, I've been abusing laxatives. My tolerance is pretty high, and I really want to quit.

The problem is, anytime I go more than a couple of days, I retain so much fluid, even my face gets crazy puffy. I can still have a normal BM, but that takes a few days to happen. In the first two or three days of no lax, I don't go at all.

This is all really detrimental for me, as it also makes me gain several pounds. You all know how crazy that can make you. Is there any way to ease off of laxatives or any other tips you might have so that I don't have such awful side effects? I am just so tired of being in pain and having to get up multiple times each night.

[Rant] Lady Gaga hates pants, and for some reason that's a really big inspiration for me.
/u/psych0candy [5'5" | 173 | 28.8 | -12 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 11:30:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40tcb3/lady_gaga_hates_pants_and_for_some_reason_thats_a/
---
I remember when she first became a big thing, she told everyone that she absolutely hated pants and would wear anything else as an alternative. So she would always prance around in these gorgeous gowns, tight micro dresses and bodysuits because she knew that she was fucking gorgeous and could do whatever the hell she wanted.

Meanwhile, it's always been a frigid winter in hell if my legs ever saw the light of day, even at my absolute lowest weight. Even at a size one, my thighs scared the shit out if me and I never wanted anyone to see them like ever.

I think what I'm trying to say is that attaining perfection is only half of the battle for people like us. The other half is realizing that we've finally become the beautiful thing that we wanted to be.

[Discussion] Measuring progress without a scale!
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 152# | 26% | -38# | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 11:19:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40tadv/measuring_progress_without_a_scale/
---
I just realized while in the bath that I can feel my tailbone on the floor of the tub as I lay -- it didn't used to be that way; the fat on my love handles were a cushion.

What are the ways that you know you're losing without stepping on the scale?

[Tip] Sneaking in Calorie Burning
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 10:20:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40szxm/sneaking_in_calorie_burning/
---
Hello, this is my second post and I am new as of today, so I hope I'm not overdoing it, but just kinda excited... I am only drinking black coffee and water today as I start descending back into the way I was before I fell off the wagon and turned into a drunk pig. I also have a few tips and tricks of things I used to try to burn calories throughout the day for those of us that are busy, work desk jobs or are in school.

1) Lunch breaks are work out breaks - not food breaks. Walk briskly in a park, jump rope, do crunches, lunges and squats if you can... if you have to run errands its tempting to "reward" yourself on the trip with a drive thru. Don't do it. Carry a small bag of carrot sticks or sunflower seeds in your car or purse. Also, always carry water.

2) Depending on where you work or go to school, you can often find excuses to get up and move around. Stand up and type or read, walk back and forth briskly to the water cooler and drink water all day so then you're walking back and forth to the bathroom. Do glute and ab squeezes in your chair. Stretch at your desk, as well.

3) Exercise first thing when you get home, even if it's only 5-10 mins. If you make it a rule that you do it right away, you'll definitely do it, and probably longer than 10 mins. If you simply can't, make sure you do it right after you do whatever it is you have to do first.

4) Have a bedtime routine that involves a workout.
JUMPING ROPE BURNS SO MANY CALORIES. Do it or jumping jacks as much as possible. If your knees are weak (mine are) do it on a springy surface and don't jump too high. Take your glucosamine so you can bear to do more knee exercises and run more. Always always do sit ups/crunches before bed. Make it a rule, along with no food after _____ o'clock pm. If you live with someone, you can say your dr. told you not to eat after ___ (whenever) because it can give you heartburn.

Anyone else have any tips or tricks for the busy guy/gal to burn extra calories?

[Help] Phentermine - Need to cheat NSC weigh in (UK)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 13 09:30:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40sr9b/phentermine_need_to_cheat_nsc_weigh_in_uk/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 13, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 13 09:02:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40smpe/daily_food_diary_january_13_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 13, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] Falling off the wagon...
/u/lookatmyclavicles [5'9" | CW:150/GW:120 | BMI: 21.75 | WL: 5 lb| F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 08:59:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40sm6p/falling_off_the_wagon/
---
I've never had a good relationship with food or my body... I was what I would now consider a desirable weight for years, even after having a baby, while actively starving myself and working out, but for the past few years, perhaps after my divorce or beginning when I started dating my current bf, I've gained about 20-30 pounds. It's to the point where I don't even weigh myself and look away when I pass reflective surfaces. I'm so depressed about it, and getting older doesn't make losing any easier. I have quit working out and heavy drinking and smoking have taken their toll, as well as drug use... I am going to try to quit smoking because I think it will help me exercise more but don't want the associated weight gain because of it. Has anyone in here quit smoking? Did you gain weight? Or is that only if you eat to replace the smoking? Also, anyone else in here have any experience in fluctuations in weight and going from one extreme lifestyle (drunk slob) to another (sober yet starving control freak)? How did you manage those changes?

[Discussion] Positive side-effects of your ED?
/u/Mi_ra [5'5| 105,4 | 17.75 | 9,2 F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 08:27:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40sh4g/positive_sideeffects_of_your_ed/
---
What kind of positive side-effects does your ED have? Does it, in some weird way, improve your life?

Like for example, I spent better part of today drawing thinspo - quite shitty stuff, but at least I drew. What I haven't done in ages, which is quite ridiculous as I am a Fine Arts student. So in a way my illness made me do something that's good for me in other ways.

[Rant] Cough Drops
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 131.2 | 22.96 | -28lbs. | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 06:28:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40s06k/cough_drops/
---
I have a nasty cold with a cough deep in my chest. My husband went to the pharmacy to get me some meds and came back with cough drops. Oh, and then he proceeds to tell me the cough drops are 15 calories a piece! Ugh. I know it's not that much, but now I just can't take them because my stupid brain says it's pointless to waste calories. So I'm sitting here with a cough and sore throat and a full bag of cough drops. Ugh.

[Rant] Worst day in a while.
/u/fattynomnoms
Created: Wed Jan 13 05:44:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40ruw9/worst_day_in_a_while/
---
Things have just been compounding lately, coming to a head yesterday.

First, I've started a new birth control which is making me bloated as hell. Then my husband, who's been interviewing around in hopes of making more money, gets a fucking *fantastic* offer of nearly double what he's making but then suddenly decides he doesn't want to move. This job would solve, completely, our money problems. We would be on top for the first time in 10 years. But it would be too "stressful" for him. Oh poor dear. How about you fucking let me work then? There's an idea, you selfish man.

And now, to top it off, I binged yesterday after hearing that he's just given up, and now I'm 4 pounds up today. I just want to fucking kill myself. This isn't the first time he's done this, either. I'm so god damned tired of getting my hopes up just to have them crushed again and again. But that's my lot in life, I guess. Crushed dreams are nothing new.

[Help] Low Calorie / Primatene Night Terrors?
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 04:14:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40rlr9/low_calorie_primatene_night_terrors/
---
Anyone know anything? I've always had problems but here I am for the third time since Sunday awake at 2AM because my heart is about to beat out of my chest I'm so fucking terrified.

I'm losing so much sleep and I wonder if it has anything to do with my ongoing diet? Primatene use? Or if it's just a particularly bad run of these for me...

If you guys know anything, I really would appreciate it. I'm so fucking tired of this.

[Help] Weight tracking app?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | 32.28 | -50 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 03:01:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40re33/weight_tracking_app/
---
I saw someone with happy scale but it doesn't seem to be available on my phone :( I looked for weight loss trackers but non seemed to really be what I was looking for. Suggestions?

I have an Android phone & I'd like a free app but of it's the best and under $5 I can swing it.

[Discussion] [Q] What does taking laxatives do for you?
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 114 | 18.4| F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 02:48:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40rcxo/q_what_does_taking_laxatives_do_for_you/
---
People with ED behaviours have a reputation of taking excessive amounts of laxatives. Yesterday I took them for the first time, because (TMI) I haven't had a BM since tuesday last week and my stomach felt awful.

So it got me curious. For the people that take laxatives as a routine, why do you do it? Does it really help you to lose weight? Is the food you ate just getting pushed through your intestines with less food being digested or something? Or does it just help things moving? (I've always thought it just lets you lose water weight, so not really the weight loss I'm aiming for...) What are the advantages of taking laxatives? And when do you take them?

Thank you in advantage for your answers.

[Goal] Finally making progress & tongue piercing update
/u/faebun [5'6 | 137.2lb | 22.1 | 26.8lb | NB]
Created: Wed Jan 13 02:30:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40rb2a/finally_making_progress_tongue_piercing_update/
---
http://imgur.com/hm0PupM

[Tip] accidental recipe
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Wed Jan 13 01:48:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40r6z4/accidental_recipe/
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the yogurt i eat froze (dannon light and fit vanilla). When mixing it turned into "fro yo" but thicker than normal yogurt and full after way less!

[Tip] Calorie Counters!
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 131 | 19.3 | -9 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 13 00:55:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40r1vg/calorie_counters/
---
I am currently in a nutrition class (hahaha yeah i know its laughable) but it is teaching me a lot of great things!

**Like how to correctly count calories**

For me, I am very strict with my calories and when I learned this it made a big difference in my day.

**1g. of Protein = 4 calories**

**1g. of Carbohydrates = 4 calories**

**1g. of fat (lipids) = 9 calories**

LABELS OFTEN LIE. Calories are up to ten less or **MORE**

Here is how to add up correctly:
[Lets use peaches and cream oatmeal as our example.](http://imgur.com/M6ktnLY)

The label reads: 130 Calories

Fat: 2.5g

Carbs: 25g

Protein: 3g

With what we now know - we need to multiply!

Fat: 2.5g X 9 = 22.5 calories

Carbs: 25g X 4 = 100 calories

Protein: 3g X 4 = 12 calories

**Total:**134.5 (label reads 130)

Now, this may or may not be a big deal to you but it certainly was for me and hopefully this can help others. Let me know if you have any further questions.

If anyone is curious alcohol is the only other source of calories(energy) and 1g of alcohol = 7 calories.

Favour to ask American friends
/u/podcentre
Created: Wed Jan 13 00:16:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40qxwx/favour_to_ask_american_friends/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] anyone here model? i kinda wanna look like this
/u/8B4dinner [6'1| 175.6| 23.2 | M]
Created: Tue Jan 12 22:27:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40qkt5/anyone_here_model_i_kinda_wanna_look_like_this/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stKI0a7sXBw

[Tip] [Humor] A picture posted in a sub I'm sure at least a few of us frequent.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 22:04:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40qhq2/humor_a_picture_posted_in_a_sub_im_sure_at_least/
---
http://imgur.com/2kDY7M6

[Discussion] My first race is in just a few more days! I am getting excited and nervous.
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Tue Jan 12 21:21:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40qbrq/my_first_race_is_in_just_a_few_more_days_i_am/
---
My first ever race, which for some reason I decided to try a half-marathon, is Saturday morning!

I will be attempting to carb-load the next few days...apparently I need to eat at least 1000 cals in carbs Thursday and Friday. It's going to be interesting to try it.

I am still going to restrict some tomorrow (I think?) but then I will eat more the following two days and try to mentally prepare for my race.

I may have fucked this whole thing up already by half-assing my training and restricting but...oh well. I am still excited. I think if my knee doesn't quit on me on mile 6 like it sometimes decides to then maybe I can make it. My goal is to finish, nothing else.

Any tips? I am three days out so there's not much else I can do besides eat more. I have a little idea of what to expect but this is my first race ever so it'll be all new.

[Rant] (TW) So fucking done
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 103 | 17.3 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 20:56:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40q8br/tw_so_fucking_done/
---
I've literally stopped caring. I'm burning out at my job, my boyfriend lost his job, money is crazy tight right now, his mom hates my guts, and my parents told me they feel like I'm a burden to them.

I hope this ED kills me. I want to b/p until my heart fucking stops or I die of a stroke or some shit. I want to restrict until I disappear. All I've been doing these past 3 weeks is purging, restricting, binging+ purging, crying, sleeping, and overexercising. I no longer care about my health. I welcome the chest pains. I've gotten used to my black eyes and burst blood vessels. My swollen, bruised knuckles are nothing to me. I wish I could go to bed and never wake up. I already feel dead from sleeping weird hours, electrolyte imbalances, and bad news upon bad news. I just want this to end.

[Rant] fml
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 20:52:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40q7rv/fml/
---
Being home alone is my biggest trigger for binging. It happens so rarely that when it does, I go crazy and live in the kitchen. Today since I was feeling sick I was excited because I had the house to myself and had no appetite! .... I binged anyway. What the fuck.

I hate how my self control flies out the window if I feel like no one is watching. Like calories don't count if people don't watch me consume them. Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. And I've been plateaued lately so this isn't going to help that :(

[Rant] Worst day so far in 2016
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Tue Jan 12 20:27:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40q45z/worst_day_so_far_in_2016/
---
[removed]

[Help] Frustrated and not sure what to do?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 12 19:34:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40pwbz/frustrated_and_not_sure_what_to_do/
---
[deleted]

[Help] What times do you guys take your EC stack?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 19:25:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40puxj/what_times_do_you_guys_take_your_ec_stack/
---
I've been taking it at 7am and noon, but debating if I should push it later since I'm not naturally hungry in the morning. I feel the urge to eat later in the evening, but don't want to take the caffeine too late.

I was just curious what has worked for you.

[Thinspo] Collarbones
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 115.6 lbs | 20.23 | -29.4 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 19:01:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40pr4j/collarbones/
---
http://imgur.com/Wl2VTeb

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Skinny with a smile
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 17:07:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40p9n7/thinspo_skinny_with_a_smile/
---
http://imgur.com/a/pTZwh

[Rant] About to throw away my hard work for the week.... :(
/u/TittyKittyBangBang [5'7.5" | 147.6 | 22.8 | -32 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 16:49:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40p6u5/about_to_throw_away_my_hard_work_for_the_week/
---
My husband noticed I've barely been eating and he insisted on making me food tonight. He let me pick what we're having, so since I'm forced to eat I guess I'll choose something I like. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't already had 400 Calories today but now I feel disgusted with myself and I haven't even eaten yet.

Pretty soon I'll be crying into a plate of tacos as a month and a half of careful Calorie counting slowly starts to flush down the toilet....

Sorry for the self-pitying post but I needed to vent.

[Thinspo] [thinspo] on the side
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 16:45:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40p67r/thinspo_on_the_side/
---
http://i.imgur.com/pMgvhQ0.jpg

[Thinspo] I love before/after comparisons
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 15:44:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40oweo/i_love_beforeafter_comparisons/
---
http://imgur.com/a/9Poj7

[Discussion] What's the skinniest you've been while having a normal relationship to food?
/u/canwefloat [5'4.5 | 123 | - 8 | | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 14:33:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40ok87/whats_the_skinniest_youve_been_while_having_a/
---
Self explanatory. Want to know for personal reasons.

[Tip] A little something that always stuck with me. Trick your mind.
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 116.4 | 21.29 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 14:22:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40oi4s/a_little_something_that_always_stuck_with_me/
---
http://imgur.com/Q6SaKyt

[Rant] Ughhhhhh.
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Tue Jan 12 11:45:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40nr3m/ughhhhhh/
---
I'm a camgirl and my body is my money maker (apart from awful jokes and music) and I feel like if I just had some fucking self control, I could do so much better online. With work, I could really be tiny and cute and I don't deserve to make good money if I'm not prepared to work for it. There was really no point to this post. I just needed to vent.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 12, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 12 09:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40mz9j/daily_food_diary_january_12_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 12, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Finally found out the depth of my cousin's ED--mixed feelings
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 12 08:55:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40mybw/finally_found_out_the_depth_of_my_cousins_edmixed/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Ed recovered, now relapse worse than initial ana. I'm shitty and deserve all shit [rant]
/u/gaylittlecrows
Created: Tue Jan 12 08:46:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40mx02/ed_recovered_now_relapse_worse_than_initial_ana/
---
Hello, this is my first post here. Sorry, i'm awkward af.

Background, i guess. I'm 20 had an eating disorder on and off since the age of 11, recovered again for almost two years, but after fighting and being too emotional I went ~36hrs without eating. Now i hurt every time i think about food: prior to this my obsessive thoughts were very intense but i didn't act. I think i am now in deeper than ever. I'm both scared and sickly excited(?). I feel guilty for feeling better knowing that i can restrict for that long. I finally ate a little, but not anywhere near portion size.

I am posting because I'm really scared about how this will affect my girlfriend. I cannot talk about it because this fight was the catalyst, additionally talking will require me confiding a secret that will quite possibly push her too far. I'll post more about that soon.

I guess i say hello.

[Discussion] Try It Tuesday?
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" | 137.2 | 27.07 l -11.8lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 08:24:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40mtu0/try_it_tuesday/
---
Hi, lovelies! I thought it might be fun to share a new recipe or workout that we tried this week. I was inspired when I saw the 190 calorie mac and cheese the other day, and I would love to have new ideas all in one place. I currently have zucchini crisps in the oven (33 calories for all of them!) and I'll update you all on how they turn out!

Edit: they didn't turn out that good :/ if anyone has any recipes for other vegetable crisps let me know!

[Help] Lady bits problems and bloating?
/u/pepto_bitchmol [5'4 | 128 | 22.40 | -49.5 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 07:45:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40molo/lady_bits_problems_and_bloating/
---
Hey y'all,

TMI warning. I'm currently on antibiotics for a UTI I developed a few days ago. The antibiotics have caused a super nasty yeast infection. I'm also horrifically bloated...I was a solid 133 before the infection and medicine, and now I've steadily been at 136.5 for like 3 days. I've been restricting super hard (netting 4-500 cal instead of my usual 1000), and I didn't even weigh this much during the holidays!!

Anyone know if these conditions cause bloating? Has anyone had experience with this? I feel so hopeless and miserable :(

[Goal] Binged yesterday, ran it off this morning
/u/quona [5'4.5" | 129.6 | 22.24 | -40.4| F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 07:33:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40mn6a/binged_yesterday_ran_it_off_this_morning/
---
Just wanted to celebrate this little victory with people who I can actually tell this to.

I ate 600 calories over yesterday. It was cookies. They were really good, to be fair, but ugh. All of my eating yesterday was pure shit, actually. Normally I try to eat a really well balanced diet if I'm restricting substantially, but yesterday was cookies and mac n' cheese. The mac n' cheese wasn't even that good, so not even worth it. That could have been a gigantic salad that was nutritionally sound!

So, feeling thoroughly guilty, I logged everything into MFP and faced the music, and I was pissed at myself.

But I got up early this morning and suddenly had the motivation to run the binge off, so I ran seven miles in the blistering cold on an injured toe (up hill both ways, in the snow, just to GET to my shoes... so on and so forth)... and burned 730 calories.

Today is gonna be a good day. I hope yours is, too. If you binged yesterday, there's always today, brand new. :)

[Thinspo] Marble and the Sculptor
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 12 07:32:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40mmyo/marble_and_the_sculptor/
---
http://i.imgur.com/6ZTftxm.jpg

[Thinspo] A tiny drawing from my journal
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 07:20:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40mlia/a_tiny_drawing_from_my_journal/
---
http://imgur.com/NvAWcra

[Discussion] People apparently introduce themselves here, so I'll do that now.
/u/Mi_ra [5'5| 105,4 | 17.75 | 9,2 F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 07:12:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40mkig/people_apparently_introduce_themselves_here_so/
---
I've been lurking for a few weeks, and decided to make an account to participate here.

About ten years ago I was diagnosed as anorexic, but nowadays I'm bulimic. I have been in inpatient and outpatient treatment, which is allright I guess. I'm kind of losing hope with my treatment as it hasn't made that big of a change. Perhaps I'm just not ready to get better, and that's why I'm here.

I have been skinnier and bigger than I am now, and now I'm once more losing weight. I managed to get to 110 lbs, but that took way too long. My next goal is to get to 100 lbs, and then I'll see where to go from there. My lowest weight ever was 89 lbs, and that's kind of my UGW.

I'm 30 years old, female and english isn't my first language, so I hope you'll excuse me if my writing doesn't make sense all the time.

Anyway, hello to you all!

[Goal] Tuesday fast?
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 156lbs | 24 | - 24 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 07:03:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40mjhr/tuesday_fast/
---
Its 6:00am for me and I over ate by 211 cal yesterday so..

FAST DAY! Let's do this.

[Goal] Boyfriend has been complimenting my body more lately.
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 02:07:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40lrnd/boyfriend_has_been_complimenting_my_body_more/
---
He's always made it clear that he's attracted to me, and has never told me that I need to lose weight. But lately, it's been noticeable that I've lost weight and he's been very encouraging. Today, he told me how good I look, and complemented my hips. I was sitting on his lap on the couch, and he stood up and just picked me up along with him.
Part of the reason I want to be small is for moments like this. It's been such a boost for my self esteem.
I wanted to thank this community for being so supportive. I know there's been a lot of crap going on here lately, but I think we can all move past it and continue to be a great little group of people.

[Help] Feeling discouraged
/u/running_pear [5'3'' | 102.9 lbs | 17.90 | -11.68 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 12 02:01:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40lr1y/feeling_discouraged/
---
Hi lovelies, may I rant to you for a bit?
I'm on mobile so sorry for the bad formatting but I have no one else to talk with about this..

Lately I've been feeling really down because it doesn't matter how much I lose, I will never reach my body goal.
I'm short and my body shape is just awful, long upper body with wide hips and short stubby legs...even though I'm almost down to my GW (99lbs) I'm not happy and I don't know if I will ever be.

I want long legs, narrow hips and an elegant, delicate figure...but it doesn't matter how much I lose, I can't change my body shape and I hate it.

So what's even the point in restricting and losing hair and constant hunger if I will never be how I dream to be?

So please help me? I don't even know what I'm asking for, I'm just feelig so desperate right now

[Help] weighing food
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Tue Jan 12 00:52:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40lkfv/weighing_food/
---
do you weigh before or after its cooked? like 4 oz of chicken? is that 4 oz of cooked chicken or not cooked when counting calories? AH HELP

[Tip] Weight Loss Binge Free Competition!
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 22:32:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40l4b0/weight_loss_binge_free_competition/
---
We use to have a binge free competition, but we don't anymore. So I thought it would be nice if we had something like that again to keep us motivated and accountable. Me and my boyfriend wrote this site here: http://www.weightlosscompetition.eu.pn/index.php

It's not amazing-looking but i'm happy with it because it's the first website I've ever written! I'm using free hosting right now, but if you guys like it, I can upgrade it to better hosting to make it faster.

Most of the site is self-explanatory. The leaderboard has ranks for most days binge free and lowest BMI. (I can remove lowest BMI if you don't like that. I wasn't sure if it was too triggering or too competitive.) You can click the usernames to be taken to their page, which has their calorie log, stats, and blog. If you binge, then you check the "Binged" box, and your Binge Free days go to 0. Otherwise, it assumes that you have not binged. ~~If you submit calories update more than once on a single day, your last submission replaces your current.~~

Anyway, I hope you guys like it! Just register an account to post. Me and my boyfriend are both newbs at making websites, so don't use the same password you use for reddit to make the account.

We also haven't fully tested everything, so things can go wrong. If it does, just PM me the issue. Also, if you have any suggestions, I'm open to hearing them! I will implement an Edit feature for editing calories/blogs. Right now, there isn't any.

**EDIT** Thanks for the positive feedback! I'm going to make a list of stuff I need to fix here: http://piratepad.net/sdaMAiOSEf If you guys like, you can add to the list or comment below any bugs/features that I need to add.

**~~Need to take the page down for a bit. It should be up soon!~~ Up again. It probably works. If you run into errors, comment them here. Blogs appeared to have been cleared. Sorry about that.**

**Updates**

* New BMI is up. Re-enter your stats into update for it to recalculate.

* You can now edit your days binge free. It's at the bottom right. I'll find a better way, but that works temporarily now.

* Getting editing to work is proving sort of tricky. I should have a solution up soon, but I made some coding errors before that I had to fix today. Sorry about the wait!

[Discussion] Hungry and happy!
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 152# | 26% | -38# | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 21:35:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40kwmp/hungry_and_happy/
---
I tonight I bought a Lego Millennium Falcon, so hubby and I built through dinner, on past bedtime, which got me off the hook. He made himself some food after I got in bed, and I can feel/hear my stomach rumbling and I love it. I had a rather bloaty feeling day today, so the emptiness is so satisfying.

It makes me feel so accomplished.

Usually I'm snacking every 30 minutes, but I've only had some tea and one slice of salami since 3pm, and its 11:30pm now. I came in under my calorie goal for the day too!

Happy Happy Happy.

[Tip] I wrote this message to myself and saved it in my phone. It helps me refocus on my goals when I feel like giving in.
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 20:57:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40kr46/i_wrote_this_message_to_myself_and_saved_it_in_my/
---
If you're about to eat something awful, read this over twice and reconsider.

You've wanted this your whole life. You've wanted to be the skinny one. But you've been largely too busy "enjoying" unhealthy food to get what you really want. You've spent too many days thinking counter-productive things that have set you off track.

"I'll start tomorrow"
"It's just one treat"
"If I eat this I'll be happy"

Each time you give in, you're happy for the moment. Yum, did that pastry taste good? Then why the FUCK are your dreams filled with the happiness of denying food? You have that period every night, when you're just optimistic enough to think "I can start this tomorrow and I'll succeed", but the optimism only exists in that moment BECAUSE you convince yourself that your success doesn't need to start until tomorrow. It's the happiness of planning for another day, knowing that the follow-through doesn't need to start right away.

But you have plans now, a definite timeline that you must operate in or else you will find yourself very, very miserable. Remember this timeline when you're about to drink that sugary drink, or eat that pastry or calorie-filled meal.

Think of being able to lay on a bed and not have fat plummet out from under your hips and thighs. Think of being able to sit down and not have rolls upon rolls on your stomach. Think of sitting in a chair and not having your thighs pancaked against the seat.

Think of the feeling of a bare collarbone. Think of the sharpness of slim hips. Running your hands down your chest, onto your waist, wrapping your hands below your ribs, down to hips that don't *squish*. Hips that look amazing in jeans, leggings, a bikini. You've always wanted that, right? To wear a bikini? Perhaps you will, if you consider everything that's written here.

Now read it all again and rethink what you were about to do. Do you really need what you're about to put in your mouth?

[Discussion] Scale for a College kid
/u/wailwriter [5'9" | 149.6 | 21.69 | -12 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 19:55:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40khnc/scale_for_a_college_kid/
---
Ok so I want to invest in a scale as I think it will help hold me accountable, however I am a college kid without a lot of money so I thought you all could help me decide on a cheap but reliable one. Thank you so much :)

[Rant] My boyfriend is 130 pounds :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 11 19:39:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40kf88/my_boyfriend_is_130_pounds/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] I threw a neat tilapia and zucchini "spaghetti" dinner together yesterday for like 300 calories, and thought maybe you guys would like the recipe?
/u/psych0candy [5'5" | 173 | 28.8 | -12 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 19:28:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40kdfd/i_threw_a_neat_tilapia_and_zucchini_spaghetti/
---
Hey lovelies! Yesterday I concocted a wonderful meal made out of low-cal recipes I found and I wanted to share with you. It contains a little cheese, mayonnaise, and butter, and for a long time, those were no-no foods for me. In this recipe, however, I found that they were sparse enough to add a lot of flavor without overloading on calories. The greatest thing about this particular meal is that it looks kind of big, so if youā€™re living with parents or roommates or anyone you have to watch yourself around, it looks like youā€™re eating something substantial. Anyway, hereā€™s how to make a fabulous dinner for around 300 calories.

**WHAT YOU WILL NEED:**

* 1 medium zucchini, ribboned with a potato peeler. I stop peeling near the core. This should yield about two cups (36 cal)

* Ā½ cup of marinara sauce. Iā€™m lazy and broke, so I just bought the generic store brand (60 cal)

* 1 tilapia fillet. I love tilapia--itā€™s cheap and fairly low cal. I bought a pack of five frozen fillets for five bucks. One fillet is about 4oz, so (100 cal)

* Ā½ tbsp butter (50 cal)

* Ā¼ tbsp mayonnaise (22 cal)

* 1 tbsp of parmesan cheese, (the recipe says 1/10th of a cup, but I tried breaking it down and came up to maybe a little over a tbsp. What a weird measurement to ask for). (>50 cal)

* Squirt of lemon juice (0)

* Pepper, salt, celery salt, onion powder, garlic powder, basil (negligible amount of calories, I didnā€™t calculate it)

* Pam cooking spray (0)

* Oven with broiler, stove, frying pan, small baking sheet, tinfoil (don't eat these things)

Total: 319 calories

**Parmesan Tilapia:** First, thaw the tilapia. Keep it in its little vacuum sealed bag and do one of two things: 1. Run it under cool-ish water until itā€™s completely soft in the middle. 2. Leave it in the fridge overnight. Once itā€™s thawed, remove the bag and rinse it under some cool water. Gently pat dry with a paper towel.

Combine the mayonnaise, lemon juice, butter and cheese in a tiny cup/bowl and season to taste, (a little pinch of each seasoning will suffice). There isnā€™t a lot of it--you wonā€™t need a large container. Set it aside and donā€™t put it on the tilapia yet. Move the oven rack to a position a few inches away from the broiler, turn the broiler to high, then put tinfoil over the baking sheet and spray it with pam spray. Place fillet face-up in the middle of the baking sheet, put that business in the oven and let it broil for about three minutes. After the three minutes is up, flip it and broil it for another two minutes. After that, take it out, flip it back face-up and spread the butter/mayo/cheese mix onto the top of it. Then, pop it back in for another two minutes, or until the surface is golden brown. Ta-dah! You just broiled some serious deliciousness. It should be a little crispy around the edges.

**Zucchini ā€œSpaghettiā€:** Spray the frying pan with pam and throw the zucchini ribbons in there. Set your stovetop to about medium-high heat. If you have any leftover mayo/butter/cheese goop, slap that in there too for a little extra oomph. Wait until it starts to sizzle and turn the stovetop down to medium, then let it sizzle for about two minutes or until it becomes a little tender, but not completely limp and soggy. Stir it occasionally so the consistency is even. After that, toss in the half cup of marinara sauce and stir it in, then let it sit for just long enough to heat it up. Then put that shit in a bowl and enjoy with your fabulous tilapia.

And boom! You have a nice, quick meal that tastes fucking awesome and wonā€™t make you feel like shit. Itā€™s little enough calorie-wise that you can even add a decent-sized side of steamed broccoli or green beans. Itā€™s not that expensive either, so it wonā€™t break your bank, (I did dip into my parentsā€™ parmesan cheese, but Iā€™m sure the Kraft kind in a bottle will work just fine). I hope you guys like it.

Hereā€™s the mfp breakdown: http://imgur.com/3DZv8TS

[Rant] Shitty Therapist Update
/u/faebun [5'6 | 137.2lb | 22.1 | 26.8lb | NB]
Created: Mon Jan 11 18:44:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40k6i0/shitty_therapist_update/
---
I, being an impulsive mess, now have a tongue piercing and a very good excuse to restrict! If I'm not skinny enough to have a disorder, I'm going to keep losing until I do.

[Discussion] How Often Do You Weigh?
/u/kanjicolossus [5'6 | 75,8kg | 26,54 | -4,2 | M]
Created: Mon Jan 11 18:03:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40jzkx/how_often_do_you_weigh/
---
Sometimes I need to weigh daily, but then occasionally I like waiting a few days (or maybe a week). That way I can revel in my clothes fitting baggier than they were and feeling better without seeing the scale.

[Discussion] What's your biggest motivation?
/u/AllHailTheGremlins [5'7" | 134 lbs | 21.0 | -26 lbs | F 20yo]
Created: Mon Jan 11 17:12:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40jrb3/whats_your_biggest_motivation/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40jrb3/whats_your_biggest_motivation/

[Rant] I keep binging and I don't know why
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 15:37:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40jbu4/i_keep_binging_and_i_dont_know_why/
---
Since Christmas I've been able to restrict for about 5 days then I go and binge. I don't know why I keep binging, I'm not upset about anything, I'm not forced to eat, I'm not hungry, but I binge after about 5 days of restricting. It's making me so angry. Before Christmas I went over 3 weeks binge-free but now I can't even go 1 week.

I'm debating between starting at 800 cals tomorrow and go down by 100 cals each day until I reach zero and fast for a day or two or if I should just stick to 400 cals a day for a while with a few fast days in there. What do you guys think?

Also, thought I'd give a treatment update. I had my assessment last week and my meeting with my nurse-therapist today. I will be going into inpatient treatment soon for weight restoration then continue in their day program. They said I'll probably be admitted in about 3 weeks, maybe more, maybe less. So we'll see, I'll be sad to be leaving this great community, but I need to do this.

[Help] Running out of bronkaid and panicking
/u/spaghetti_enthusiast [5'4.5" | 133lbs | 22.43 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 15:23:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40j9go/running_out_of_bronkaid_and_panicking/
---
I live in Oregon where anything with ephedrine can't be sold OTC so I can't buy Bronkaid or Primatene. I managed to (illegally??) get a box of Bronkaid through eBay at a crazy markup but I'm running out and I also can't afford to buy another box so I'm freaking out because I'm fucking useless without the EC stack. Anyone from Oregon who knows of a way to get ephedrine here? Also sorry if this is against the rules, I'll delete if it is. I'm just literally having panic attacks just thinking of this, I CANNOT do this without the stack fuck

[Discussion] Shoogi's Mukbang
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Mon Jan 11 15:14:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40j7w7/shoogis_mukbang/
---
If you've ever heard of Korea's mukbang, basically people just sit in front of the camera and eat...a lot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF9N0Wxc7V4

This girl makes me jealous, she's so thin and gorgeous. Supposedly she exercise several hours a day not to gain weight after eating so much. (That's what she said herself) And sometimes she stays with fans for a while after she's done to prove she's not purging it. I don't know if that's true or not.

[Discussion] Any athletes here?
/u/niecy_lindsay
Created: Mon Jan 11 14:37:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40j1eo/any_athletes_here/
---
Hi guys I'm a rower for my university and eat about 500 cal a day and most likely work that all of easily with the intense rowing sessions and lifting regimens. My workouts with the team are at 6 am with mandatory gym homework at night. I am aiming to be the fastest on my boat and as of now I'm second by like 8 seconds, but I don't think not eating before would allow me to row well and on my best. But if I eat my cals during the morning I'll go to class starving and distracted and tired. I'm premed and my gpa is serious. Grades and rowing are important to me. My body is important to me. Basically everything is important to me and I'm at a crossroads. Any advice?

[Discussion] It's 4:24 PM. I'm at 753 calories for the day. Fuck my life.
/u/AllHailTheGremlins [5'7" | 134 lbs | 21.0 | -26 lbs | F 20yo]
Created: Mon Jan 11 14:26:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40izm0/its_424_pm_im_at_753_calories_for_the_day_fuck_my/
---
I hate this part of the day. I ate my calories too early and now I'm just sitting here bored.

[Discussion] Has your ED brain ever gotten you into trouble?
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Mon Jan 11 13:23:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40ioaf/has_your_ed_brain_ever_gotten_you_into_trouble/
---
mine hasn't until today i literally just went out and bought a heating pad off of eBay to help control hunger pangs even though i'm really supposed to be saving all my money for college book.

[Rant] Have you tried just eating more?
/u/faebun [5'6 | 137.2lb | 22.1 | 26.8lb | NB]
Created: Mon Jan 11 13:10:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40ilt0/have_you_tried_just_eating_more/
---
Literal advice from my therapist when I finally opened up to her about my eating disorder. She says I'm too fat to have an eating disorder and it wouldn't hurt if I lost some weight and my grandma agrees. I ducking hate myself so much right now

[Help] Beyond frustrated with my body...
/u/whaletorail [5'6 | 228 | 36 | -13 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 12:03:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40i9pn/beyond_frustrated_with_my_body/
---
I have been eating under 1000 calories every day. Averaging at usually 500 or so. I have barely made a nudge in my weight. I'm so frustrated. When I was younger and very thin I could do that and drop ten pounds in a couple weeks. Now I feel like I'm stuck.

I started the ABC diet again and I'm excited for that but I'm just irritated with my weight because it's not even moving. Also I finally got Primatene and it works SO well. I don't even think about food when I have it! :< Any other tips to make it shed faster??

[Goal] Weird relief aftee the holidays
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 11:23:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40i2ce/weird_relief_aftee_the_holidays/
---
I had majorly slipped up over the past month, being home from college and with the parents, it was hard to keep my routine. And gained about 7 lbs :((((. But i was having a hard time getting motivated to start exercising and restricting again because 1. Still at home (someone rescue me...) and 2. I thought i looked fine. I think i spent too much time around fat, HAES relatives.

Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and wanted to cry. Thank god. Finally i can see clearly and get back on track

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 11 09:02:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40hdhq/daily_food_diary_january_11_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 11, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] Goal weight by Valentine's Day. Where do you want to be?
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Mon Jan 11 08:44:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40halq/goal_weight_by_valentines_day_where_do_you_want/
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I have been thinking that I can be 99 or 100 by Valentine's Day if I keep myself dedicated and disciplined.

Do you have a goal in mind? We have just over a month to get there!

[Discussion] How do you indulge in non-food ways?
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" | 137.2 | 27.07 l -11.8lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 08:06:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40h4ej/how_do_you_indulge_in_nonfood_ways/
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If I'm good, I like to light a dessert scented candle (french vanilla and red velvet are my favorites!), that way I can enjoy my sweets without eating them. Also I like to moisturize with coconut oil (nourishing my skin with fat as opposed to eating it). Does anyone else indulge in non-food ways?

[Tip] A tip from the Washington Post: Tempted to eat something unhealthy? Make yourself eat in front of a mirror.
/u/drink_your_tea [5'6.5" | 59.5 kg | 20.8 | -3.3 kg | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 07:28:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40gyx5/a_tip_from_the_washington_post_tempted_to_eat/
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https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2015/12/30/a-simple-way-to-lose-weight-while-eating-cake-sort-of/

[Discussion] Keto keeps me from binging (mostly)
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 07:26:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40gyjs/keto_keeps_me_from_binging_mostly/
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I like to binge on carbs, so when I'm doing keto, I'm less tempted to eat carbs (because I don't want to get kicked out of keto) and that helps me to avoid binges, mostly because I don't have a lot of things where I can easily binge on. With some exceptions, like when I'm on my period.

What keeps you from binging?

[Help] Finally got my ephedrine!
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11Ā½ | 158 | 21.65 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 07:17:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40gxfb/finally_got_my_ephedrine/
---
After realizing that it's pretty much impossible to buy it in my country (Sweden) I decided to take a risk by ordering it online. 3 weeks later it arrived! 150 ephedrine hcl... 8mg each. I'm really excited to see how well they work, anything I should be mindful of?

[Discussion] [discussion] EC stacks and amphetamines?
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 130 | 20.05 | -40 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 07:15:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40gx3y/discussion_ec_stacks_and_amphetamines/
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Hey all,

I've been reading a lot about EC stacks lately and my interest has grown. However, I am on adderall (Dexamphetamines) for ADD. Any of you out there who does EC stacks and other amphetamines at the same time? Or would that be just a waste since Ephedrine is basically and amphetamine? Thanks in advance.

[Goal] BMI Calculator says I'm healthy!!
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 131.2 | 22.96 | -28lbs. | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 06:24:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40gqfv/bmi_calculator_says_im_healthy/
---
Today I got on the scale and I am FINALLY at a "healthy BMI! I'm so excited right now! My first GW is 125, so I still have a long way to go, but I am celebrating today!

Part of the reason for my successful restricting the last few days is that I have a wicked cold and can't taste anything. I was worried because I haven't been able to go to the gym, but the restricting seems to have been enough for now.

I'm not sure what my UGW is yet. I haven't been this small in years, so I don't know how I'm going to feel at 125 lbs. yet. I'm thinking 105, but I guess we'll see. I couldn't have done it without you all!

[Rant] [Rant] Skype phone calls..
/u/queencactus
Created: Mon Jan 11 06:21:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40gq7b/rant_skype_phone_calls/
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More like "what angle do I look skinniest at?".

Me and the BF were gettin' it on, cyber-space like, and I kept fretting and stopping to change the angle. Argh! And I could tell he was getting annoyed but like, I didn't want him to realise how fat I am.

Ah well, I can finally see my collar bones. All it took was 20kg (44lbs).

Anyone else have this problem w/ angles?

[Discussion] School and weightloss
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW105|18.56|-33|F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 06:09:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40gos3/school_and_weightloss/
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As upset as I am in class, it is one of the best ways for me to lose weight. I can't eat all day because I am too busy. I have 12 kcal in the morning from coffee with cream and then I don't eat until the late afternoon. I am in college and I don't have the time or desire to purchase food and sit down to eat it. My classes span from 8am until 7pm and the buildings I am in have no substantial food sources besides way overpriced vending machines. I hate school but I hate being fat more! So far, I just eat when I get home and no matter how much I stuff my face, I never surpass 900 kcal for the day which is great for me. I want to be just under 105Ib by the end of march which shouldn't be too hard.

[Tip] Extra hungry around your period?
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Mon Jan 11 06:02:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40go0v/extra_hungry_around_your_period/
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When you find yourself *craving* food, *starving* for food, *needing* food when you are coming up on your period, it might help to keep yourself from binging knowing that the reason for that is that your BMR can increase up to 11%, which means that right before your period your body needs up to 300 more calories as your metabolism speeds up in that time requiring more energy for your menstrual cycle. So if you can decided for yourself to cut back from that need to binge knowing that it'd benefit your "diet", or make healthier choices if you do, it will certainly benefit you!

[Help] Where to start?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 11 05:54:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40gn64/where_to_start/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! January 11, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 11 05:03:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40ghue/weekly_stats_update_january_11_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for January 11, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] restaurants with calorie counts on the menu
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Mon Jan 11 01:54:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40fyp1/restaurants_with_calorie_counts_on_the_menu/
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(USA) based chains that have good safe foods with cal counts so you are sure of portion size etc?


[Help] EC stack without caffiene pills
/u/faebun [5'6 | 137.2lb | 22.1 | 26.8lb | NB]
Created: Mon Jan 11 00:53:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40fs96/ec_stack_without_caffiene_pills/
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I don't have caffeine pills, but I am a coffee drinker. I got my coffee down to 5cal by the way! Will the caffeine in my coffee be enough to help curb appetite?

[Discussion] How are you doing with your goals so far in the new year?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 00:50:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40frx1/how_are_you_doing_with_your_goals_so_far_in_the/
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Just a reminder that though we often strive for perfection, that's not how life often works. We will make mistakes and the best we can do is acknowledge them and move on. I've already slipped up on my goal not to purge, but I'm aware of my want to stop and it's making it a bit easier.

This is just a reminder to take it day by day and keep going. We're not even two weeks in and most people give up by the end of January.

What you allow is what will continue.

[Help] Haven't lost weight for four days on 750 Calories a day...am I doing something wrong?
/u/TittyKittyBangBang [5'7.5" | 147.6 | 22.8 | -32 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 11 00:49:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40frr3/havent_lost_weight_for_four_days_on_750_calories/
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Hi, I seem to be stuck in a rut at 149 pounds. I've been eating between 600-900 Calories for the past month and I've lost 11 pounds so far. This past week I've been around 750 Calories a day and I'm stuck around 148.5-149. I'm trying to stay lightly active (walks and stuff) and stay hydrated but I could and should drink more water. I'm really feeling disgusted with myself because I'm not losing. I wish I'd never let myself get fat.

Is there something more I could be doing? Should I reduce my Calorie intake more? Drink more water? What do you guys do when you plateau?

Thanks in advance for your answers.

[Discussion] jokes
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Mon Jan 11 00:35:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40fq75/jokes/
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does anyone else joke like "oh not eating until 2018?" sorry ano for the month, and bring alot of attention to their "diet" so people dont worry as much about you? has that worked? (clearly by my stats i dont look like i need any help really just that i need to lose weight

[Discussion] First EC stack - success but very nauseated
/u/Betweengreen [5'2.5" | 103 | 19.13 | -17 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 10 20:16:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40etms/first_ec_stack_success_but_very_nauseated/
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So I finally tried doing an EC stack and WOW. I met my goal of 600 cal for the day and I feel stuffed and totally uninterested in food. Probably wouldn't have eaten dinner (300) if I hadn't been invited to a family thing.

Anyways - I feel extremely nauseas. And I feel like it's kind of a result of the coffee on an empty stomach, or just an empty stomach in general. I sipped some soup and that helped - am I nauseas just because I'm not used to being this hungry?

Prior to today, I've been unsuccessful at restricting <1,000 a day .

Anyone else had nausea with ephedrine? If so, do you just force yourself to eat a bit to soothe it? Thanks!!

[Rant] Finally finally FiNAlLy got my steady Adderall supply back!!!!
/u/psych0candy [5'5" | 173 | 28.8 | -12 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 10 18:42:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40egej/finally_finally_finally_got_my_steady_adderall/
---
I quit three years ago when I started dating my current bf, (I was 105--only a few pounds away from my UGW of 95), because he had just gotten out of a living arrangement with a friend who was hooked on oxycontin and I didn't want to look like a junkie or something. I didn't have a script and was buying it to use on my three fasting days per week.

I gained sooooooooo much weight after I stopped, (date weight led to anxiety eating, more weight gain led to binging and depression, and it's just been a mess), and I really regretted quitting. But I just did my buddy a solid and he agreed to sell to me every month. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I'm really excited about it and can't exactly run around screaming about it to all my friends. The dosage is lower, but it will definitely help me eliminate the anxiety binges. And maybe help my grades. :D

It's going to be really hard to hide the fasting from my bf, though. :( I've been trying to go back to my 500-fast-500-fast-500-fast-500 (and/or two fasting days in a row before social outings) schedule that I had three years ago and it might be tough. Without the Adderall it's always ended when I see him and we go out. I hope I can make this work.

Maybe 2016 will be the year I can hate myself a little less.

Low blood sugar while restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 10 17:49:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40e8ho/low_blood_sugar_while_restricting/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] What happened to /u/Klairvoyant?
/u/psittacus
Created: Sun Jan 10 16:51:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40dzbi/what_happened_to_uklairvoyant/
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Why was her account suspended? Will she come back?

[Help] Anyone been on Prozac?
/u/artemis-lycaea
Created: Sun Jan 10 16:11:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40dsp8/anyone_been_on_prozac/
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I'm taking Prozac now for depression and I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with it. I'd like to stop purging but not if it comes with an increased appetite and weight gain.

[Help] How do I hide eating at an overnight retreat?
/u/iamhungryandimproud
Created: Sun Jan 10 15:19:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40dju6/how_do_i_hide_eating_at_an_overnight_retreat/
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Tomorrow I'm going on my senior retreat which is overnight. We leave at the beginning of school Monday and get back Tuesday at the time school gets out. So basically, there's 2 lunches, a breakfast, and a dinner. I normally just eat a small dinner. How do I not gain weight?

[Help] Tips on how to hide weightloss at weigh ins at doctors?
/u/stjarnlax
Created: Sun Jan 10 15:01:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40dgui/tips_on_how_to_hide_weightloss_at_weigh_ins_at/
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Im going to the doctor regularly to get checked and there are weigh ins (about once a month) and i want to figure out the best way to hide weightloss, Any good tips would be appreciated
im not required to take my clothes off and to as far an extent as possible id want to avoid having to drink a shittone of water

[Help] Lexapro and weight gain?
/u/skinnieminnie [5'4" | 98 | 17.15 | f]
Created: Sun Jan 10 14:35:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40dcdh/lexapro_and_weight_gain/
---
Hey, I just had a question in case anybody had experience with taking Lexapro. My doctor gave me a script for it for anxiety but I'm kind of iffy on taking it because when I looked it up it said there was possibility for weight gain. So I was just wondering if anyone had experienced it and how much they gained - or if they didn't gain anything at all while taking it.

[Discussion] Good recipe blogs?
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sun Jan 10 13:25:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40d02h/good_recipe_blogs/
---
Hey guys! Just looking for low cal recipes to pin but I have a hard time finding blogs that include the calorie count on their recipes. Do you know of any good ones? Been looking at Dashing Dish for example, but you have to pay for a subscription to see all of them. :(

A few others I've also gone through are: london-unattached, bbcgoodfood and lemonandbasil.



Edit: Also if there's one that primarily does single serving recipes that would be a bonus. Anything to cut down on temptation right?

[Help] Weird side effects of Primatene?
/u/canwefloat [5'4.5 | 123 | - 8 | | F]
Created: Sun Jan 10 12:10:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40cndd/weird_side_effects_of_primatene/
---
I've noticed whenever I take Primatene (EC stack) my heart beats faster and I get a little dizzy. Other than that, I'm fine and it does suppress my appetite. Are these side effects enough to be concerned about?

Also, on a lighter note, my room is spotless. It's really hard for me to clean because of being unmotivated, but for some reason I've been more focused than ever. Is this the Primatene or am I just growing up? Haha.

Reliable companion...all I have now
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 10 10:47:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40c9m0/reliable_companionall_i_have_now/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How does your stomach get used to less food?
/u/_wildstrawberries [175 | 80 | 25.67 | M]
Created: Sun Jan 10 09:27:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40bwu3/how_does_your_stomach_get_used_to_less_food/
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I've read from a few users here that they or their stomach got used to eating less gradually. like, from 1000 to 600 to 300 calories. Wondering how that works exactly? How has it been for you?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 10, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 10 09:02:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40bt5i/daily_food_diary_january_10_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 10, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] How do you stay binge free?
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 10 08:51:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40brpb/how_do_you_stay_binge_free/
---
I know that a lot of factors influence my binges: severe restriction, motivation/lack there of, feelings of unsatisfaction etc etc. How do you stay binge free? How do you find a balance between bingeing and purging (restriction)? What is your 'happy place'?

[Help] First time fasting, what should I expect and prepare for?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 10 08:23:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40bnw8/first_time_fasting_what_should_i_expect_and/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Favorite thinspo blogs?
/u/thininsp
Created: Sun Jan 10 07:23:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40bgln/favorite_thinspo_blogs/
---
Not tumblr or instagram, but actual blogs?

[Help] What can I add to rice cakes?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | 32.28 | -50 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 10 03:21:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40at7j/what_can_i_add_to_rice_cakes/
---
I freaking love them plain but is there something (low cal, obviously) else I can do with them?

I have caramel, apple, and plain.

[Discussion] I fell down the rabbit hole.
/u/kaedoll16
Created: Sat Jan 9 23:49:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40a9y4/i_fell_down_the_rabbit_hole/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Introducing me...
/u/do-you-remember-me
Created: Sat Jan 9 22:20:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40a09b/introducing_me/
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I'm new to this community, so I hope I'm doing this right... I did post a comment in a thread here a while back, but for the most part, I'm a lurker on Reddit.

Anyway. I'm 18 / F / 169cm / terrified of scales so I have no idea what my current weight is, but last time the doctors pushed me onto the scales I was 56kg.

Fifty. Six. Kilograms.
I felt revolting.
I actually cried.

My highest ever weight that I remember was just over 60kg, but that was back when I just started high school and I didn't care. I used to eat my feelings. Sad? Cake. Happy? Chocolate bar. Bored? Bacon and waffles. Confused? I just ate until I figured it out, or I gave up. It wasn't until I was 13 that I started caring about how goddamn fat I was.


My lowest was 52.8kg, that was when I was 17. I had a flat-ish stomach - not perfect, but most females have a little bit of "squish" there whether we like it or not. It wasn't solid (like abs), because I didn't exercise. But I could see my collarbones at all times, and my hips were stunning - I could wear my board shorts low on my hips and almost feel "perfect". Depending on how I stood, you could see the bottom of my ribcage, too.

But when I was 52.8kg, I was also at my lowest mental point. I had been admitted to hospital for mental health issues, not eating issues - but they still stood over me and watched me eat. I had to eat every single bite. Even things I hated (which is a huge issue for me, because I'm the fussiest eater on the planet, and I will not ingest unnecessary calories if I don't like the taste of them anyway!). This was where things started to go wrong... they alerted my parents that I "refused to eat", and told them that I had an ED. I knew I did - by choice! - but my parents had never cottoned on, they just thought I was picky with what I ate. I guess the two go hand in hand.

That's where it all fucked up, and with my parents watching me like hawks after I was discharged, I ended up at 56. I'm probably more like 55 now... I still need to get back on track.

So 50kg is my ultimate goal weight. I would go under, but I know I start to lose my tits once I get under 53 or 54. I'd rather not completely lose them... I want to be skinny WITH assets, I don't want to look like I'm completely flat. They're small enough as is :(

I have a gym membership, and now that I have my car back (got crashed into on Boxing Day), I plan on going at least three times a week to start off. 1 hour cardio (mostly treadmills and all), half hour weights (just to tone). I am aware that if I build too much muscle, my weight won't go down, so that's why I'm keeping the weights to only a half hour, and not too heavy. I don't want to look like a bodybuilder. I don't want to be bulky in any way at all. I just don't want to be flabby anymore.

In my opinion, my stomach, my face, and my thighs are the worst.
I'm sorry if this affects my credibility, but I won't be posting photos until I feel like I'm worth photographing again. I can't even take a selfie because I hate my stupid fat face too much.

I know I CAN be beautiful.
I just need to get there again.

[Help] How do you avoid eating in a social setting where eating is expected?
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 152# | 26% | -38# | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 21:07:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/409tex/how_do_you_avoid_eating_in_a_social_setting_where/
---
I do fine by myself, but when a friend comes over for the day I have a hard time. Most people expect 2 meals and a snack when they stay all day. Do you just take small portions? Just have the lowest calorie food available? Save half for "later"?

[Help] ED & Depression
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Sat Jan 9 21:05:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/409t3n/ed_depression/
---
I've been feeling blue for a while now, due to employment uncertainty and not being happy with my body. When I'm depressed, I have nearly no physical cravings for food, which makes restricting easy. But from time to time, I get intense psychological cravings. And because of the depression I can barely put up barriers against them. Last time I was depressed (before my disordered eating) I would eat upwards of 3k calories per day.

So my question to you is, do any of you suffer from depression, and how do you suppress psychological cravings?

[Discussion] How do you feel when people tell you you're too skinny?
/u/acadavia [5'3| 96.8 | 17.4| F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 20:13:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/409lxo/how_do_you_feel_when_people_tell_you_youre_too/
---
Am I the only one who loves it? I see reddit comments all the time from girls complaining about being teased for being thin or scolded for not eating enough. I guess intellectually I can understand why it would bother people, but I've always gotten a weird high from comments like that. I've heard everything from "you're wasting away" to "you look like a cancer patient," and honestly, comments like those make me happier than any compliment I could ever get. They make all of my dieting worth it. I have no idea why, the people who say those things definitely don't mean for me to feel good about it.

[Discussion] INTRO. Ready to talk.
/u/Skinny_Mama [5'4" | 131.2 | 22.96 | -28lbs. | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 17:16:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/408wi5/intro_ready_to_talk/
---
I've been following this subreddit for the last few weeks, and I thought it was time I joined in!

I guess my ED started as an adolescent. I was obsessed with my weight. I restricted and stayed around 100 lbs through most of my teen years. My parents are so self centered that they never noticed. I used to hold my hand up to the side of my stomach to make sure I wasn't any wider than the length of my hand. I have an anxiety disorder, and restricting gives me such a feeling of control.

In my early 20's I got on antidepressants and I gained a lot of weight. I got up to 180. I was disgusting. For the last few years I have fluctuated between restricting and binging and have stayed around 155-160.

The final straw was when I went to see Santa with my daughter at the beginning of December. I had to hold her in her picture because she was nervous. I look hideous. I'm so done. The picture is on my fridge.

I love restricting. I love that people have started to notice. My husband just thinks I'm dieting again. I am not at a low enough weight to cause alarm (yet), but he has made a few comments about me needing to eat, so I'm trying to restrict more when he's at work.

This sub has been amazing. I was never diagnosed, but reading all your stories, I feel such a connection with many of you. It has been so comforting to know I'm not the only one that feels the way I do. I look forward to having a group that can help keep me motivated! Thank you all!

Intro. Ready to talk.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 9 16:47:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/408s7g/intro_ready_to_talk/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Thinspo - Beautiful Backs
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sat Jan 9 15:27:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/408fgh/thinspo_beautiful_backs/
---
http://imgur.com/a/EjPdY

[Discussion] I've been seeing these posts about everyone's mothers: my own mother is underweight(and all of my family too) and she kkind of encouraged my ED.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 9 14:38:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40886b/ive_been_seeing_these_posts_about_everyones/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] how much food weight can the body hold?
/u/darkblueplates [5'5" | 90.4 | 15.24 | GW: 79 LW: 89 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 14:15:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4084he/how_much_food_weight_can_the_body_hold/
---
i ended up binging for days near new year's eve and thought that i had gained around 5 real pounds but ended up easily shedding them off during these past few days by heavily restricting (i should've only lost 1 pound). it was probably all food weight but it got me thinking: how much food weight can the body hold onto? what was your experience with food weight?

[Thinspo] Whats your favorite thinspo atm?
/u/stjarnlax
Created: Sat Jan 9 13:59:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40823a/whats_your_favorite_thinspo_atm/
---
I could really use some extra motivation so your favorite thinspiration right now? Id really appreciate it

[Help] has anyone tried the skinny bitch collective?
/u/thinfetish
Created: Sat Jan 9 13:33:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/407xz2/has_anyone_tried_the_skinny_bitch_collective/
---
[removed]

TIL: Weight is an unimportant 'Magical' Number. AKA the 'so subtle she wont notice I'm thinshaming her' conversation. (Fixed to hide names)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 9 13:23:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/407wad/til_weight_is_an_unimportant_magical_number_aka/
---
http://imgur.com/NJMXX53

[Rant] TIL: Weight is an unimportant 'Magical' Number. AKA the 'so subtle she wont notice I'm thinshaming her' conversation.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 9 13:12:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/407uoq/til_weight_is_an_unimportant_magical_number_aka/
---
http://imgur.com/lvvGVYg

[Rant] I want to bake a cake.
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 11:04:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/407an2/i_want_to_bake_a_cake/
---
I want to bake a cake. I will eat precisely 1/12th of it for dinner, it will be 210 calories. It is 10:00AM sharp now but I'd like to get the baking over with.

I'll probably share the cake with my housemates. They will smile and thank me and eat some of the cake. They think I am so generous for always baking for them, except one of them, who knows about my eating disorder. Because I told him. I shouldn't have told him. He guilted me into eating chili with him last night. I really had to plan my day around that chili; lots of mental preparation was needed.

The problem is, I can't bake a cake right now. My housemate has a guest over and they are still asleep in the living room. I can't do anything. I need to paint another layer on the coffee table before work but I can't because there is a stranger sleeping in there. I can't even practice guitar.

All of us but the guest and his host are awake. It is awkward when this happens, because 6 of us are here, 4 of us are awake, but no one wants to ruin the last two's sleep.

But really, I could care less about the table or about anything right now. My mind is so focused on baking this cake and it's torture not being able to.

[Tip] Try this, try this, coffee loving lovelies. 1/2tbs is 25cal, full of protein and fiber, and tastes like an amazing mocha. Caffeinated, too!
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 10:10:06 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/407292/try_this_try_this_coffee_loving_lovelies_12tbs_is/
---
http://imgur.com/m5iBMU9

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 09, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 9 09:02:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/406rz3/daily_food_diary_january_09_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 09, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] Unexpected Thinspo
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 08:07:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/406kue/unexpected_thinspo/
---
Does anyone else watch 'Whine About It' on buzz feed on YouTube? Well it's literally just this guy drinking wine and bitching about stuff. Now, this guy is chubby, but I literally never before cared. He's funny, what the fuck do I care if he's chubby? So I just watched one episode, about food, it's called 'Types of Food That Are The Worst' and... It was not funny. It's just this poor chubby guy, getting what looks to me like 'unhappy' drunk, and some of the whining was about healthy food (ex: kale), although there was one funny line about jelly donuts. On the whole, it was just kinda sad and pathetic. I wanted to take the wine away from him and make him go to bed.

It just made me think: that's how fat people look, pathetic, sad, like they need to be taken care of.

[Rant] I can't deal with my mother constantly talking about her weight.
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Sat Jan 9 07:27:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/406g3s/i_cant_deal_with_my_mother_constantly_talking/
---
She's slightly overweight and has been trying to lose weight since I was child. She has never lost a pound. She lifts 10 pounds weights for 5 minutes in the morning and says it's impossible for her to lose weight because she's postmenopausal.

I don't care if she's overweight, I don't care whether she wants to lose weight or not but I can't deal with her constant comments. At least once a day she talks about how fat she is and how she shouldn't eat anymore before she's fat. She knows that I don't eat enough and still says that she wishes she could starve herself. She said starving yourself is "good" is it meant she could lose weight from it. It's so irritating, she really doesn't know where to draw the line.



I could binge purge right now.
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 03:22:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/405um6/i_could_binge_purge_right_now/
---
5 AM isn't bad and I feel bad and upset and no one is here lol.

[Rant] Just had a hardcore binge post drinking with friends. Learned something good about myself.
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 02:45:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/405rix/just_had_a_hardcore_binge_post_drinking_with/
---
Went out to a show, had a few drinks, got home... and fucked up by ordering take out.

Ate and ate and ate, then looked down to survey the damage. I ate less than half of what I usually do during binges. I stopped when my stomach felt full and there's so much food left. I ate til I felt ill and there's still so much food.

I'm learning. My body is learning.
I'm not having binges like I use to.
I feel gross and fat and horrible for what I did tonight, but I'm getting better.

Baby steps...

[Help] Need Self-Esteem
/u/fearsize [5'4" | 126 | 22.05 | -3 | f]
Created: Sat Jan 9 01:46:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/405mk1/need_selfesteem/
---
I struggle with low self-esteem and it has impacted my ability to make friends to the point where I have (maybe) one. Every I come across seems to think I hate them, but I don't. I just don't know how to talk to people and have resting bitchface. It doesn't help that most social situations I end up in tend to be large, which magnifies the problem because I just *don't know what to do*.

Although this is probably a "talk to a therapist" kind of problem, I am curious if simple exposure to people and forcing myself to start meaningless conversations would make it easier?

Given the assumption that this has anything to do with my jacked up teeth and skin, I'm working on making the best of it and accepting the rest. If I have to be the troll under the bridge, so be it.

[Thinspo] Saw a thread for music videos...I think this video will benefit you all. Nice Body by Hyo Min
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 116.4 | 21.29 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 01:22:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/405kib/saw_a_thread_for_music_videosi_think_this_video/
---
http://youtu.be/0xi9Zx4_BOg

[Tip] Smash that Mac & Cheese craving- 190 cal!
/u/faebun [5'6 | 137.2lb | 22.1 | 26.8lb | NB]
Created: Sat Jan 9 01:14:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/405jrw/smash_that_mac_cheese_craving_190_cal/
---
https://dashingdish.com/recipe/skinny-easy-mac/

[Discussion] Anyone else watch obese people cook/eat on YouTube as motivation?
/u/Manko_Mochi [5'2'' | 116.4 | 21.29 | -5.8 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 01:06:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/405j1u/anyone_else_watch_obese_people_cookeat_on_youtube/
---
Hey everyone ever since I started restricting and fasting, I have been watching fat people cook/eat on YouTube. I don't know what it is about them that pushes me to not eat and become skinnier.

I don't know if it's ok to mention YouTube usernames here but there's a TON of them. Just seeing them cook disgusting, greasy, buttery shit makes me satisfied and those eating videos...ugh they're so disgusting they make me want to throw up.

In my mind I keep saying over and over again that I NEVER EVER want to look like that or eat like that. Just typing about it makes me wanna throw up. I felt the urge to binge earlier but instead I forced myself to watch a video of some poor fat bastard that was stuffing his face all in the name of "fast food reviews" and it completely made me change my mind. It works for me, I wonder if any of you have tried this method?

[Discussion] long term restrictions and periods..pregnancy?
/u/iwillbesmall [5'7" | 129lbs | F]
Created: Sat Jan 9 01:02:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/405iqc/long_term_restrictions_and_periodspregnancy/
---
ive been restricting heavy for about 3 months now. if i do eat. i immediately purge it. all of it. until there is nothing left. i only keep down juice and water. i maybe have a bowel movement once a week..maybe..cuz there is like..nothing inside me. here is my question, i had unprotected sex a couple weeks ago. my period is about a week late but i took multiple tests and they were all negative. is my period late from restricting ? my weight isnt very low at all so i dont think ive hit that point to stop getting my periods. what do you think ?

[Discussion] any low-calorie baking recipes?
/u/darkblueplates [5'5" | 90.4 | 15.24 | GW: 79 LW: 89 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 23:42:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/405axr/any_lowcalorie_baking_recipes/
---
i've been in the mood to bake recently. anyone have any recipes (that actually taste decent) to share?

I'm sorry I don't know who else to turn to (TW: suicide)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 8 23:37:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/405abo/im_sorry_i_dont_know_who_else_to_turn_to_tw/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Bad at keeping my own secrets
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 8 23:21:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4058mq/bad_at_keeping_my_own_secrets/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Shoplifting and Eating Disorders
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 22:05:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/404zkq/shoplifting_and_eating_disorders/
---
Does anyone shoplift when restricting heavily? The more I restrict, the more I buy and shoplift. There's apparently a correlation between shoplifting and eating disorders. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/24907848/

Wikipedia also mentions a link between EDs and kleptomania. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kleptomania

[Goal] I want to be so bad that people forcibly send me to inpatient
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 21:28:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/404utr/i_want_to_be_so_bad_that_people_forcibly_send_me/
---
People are trying to make me get help right now, and firstly, I am not ready. But second, I don't think I'd be successful in an outpatient program. It's a thought I have a lot. I want to be so bad that people are scared to hell for me.

[Thinspo] Verbal thinspo... tough love for the weekend!
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 160.4 | 29.34 | -14.6 | Female]
Created: Fri Jan 8 21:13:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/404ss9/verbal_thinspo_tough_love_for_the_weekend/
---
http://imgur.com/a/foNrL

[Help] Does the stomach actually "shrink" when you eat less food?
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Fri Jan 8 20:42:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/404os5/does_the_stomach_actually_shrink_when_you_eat/
---
the less I eat, the less hungry I am. I still get hungry obviously because i dont eat enough but I cant eat as much I used to when I was eating normally. Whats actually going on with my stomach when i restrict??

[Rant] A very long intro/rant
/u/atlhabafom
Created: Fri Jan 8 19:52:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/404i7j/a_very_long_introrant/
---
I have been a lurker on reddit for years and have never posted once. Sorry for the terrible grammar/English. I'm on my phone so no flair.

Growing up, I was never that big. Just average I guess. 5'3" and 115lbs for a 13 year old Asian girl (i was a dancer and always knew my measurements). My friends were always skinnier than me but I had bigger hips and bigger legs and butt. I hated how fat I was. I thought I could make myself sick and throw up all my fat. I would mix raw chicken in a glass of water and drink it hoping to get food poisoning. I was too young and stupid to do anything right. I hated being bigger but I gave myself the excuse that I was just curvier than most girls.

As I grew older, I became a jokester with my group of friends. A lot of self depreciating humor. My guy friends would jokingly tease me and call me a whale or thunder thighs, or some other fat name. I knew they were joking because they were and still are my closest friends but it still hurt. My skinny girlfriends would say of course they're joking because I'm skinny and they wouldn't say it if I was fat. 5'4 and 125. Still bigger than all my girlfriends, still hated how I was so much bigger than them but I'd work on it. Went in crazy yo yo diets and exercise fads. Nothing ever worked.

5'4" and was 140lbs this time last year. I saw pictures of how fucking fat I was. I hated everything about myself. My husband was only ten pounds more than me. I felt that I was a fat fucking cow. One day, while reading about diet and exercise, it finally clicked. I needed to input less calories and output more. I exercised everyday, hours a day, ate 1200 calories a day (sometimes less, sometimes a lot less) regardless of how many hours of exercise I did. I lost 22 pounds in three months and was so happy for a while. I felt so skinny.

I kept going and eventually dropped to 110lbs last month. My friends and family kept telling me I was so skinny. TOO skinny.

I've been depressed. I've always had depression growing up. I don't know how to deal with stress. I cut myself with broken bic pens as a kid. Then moved on to punching my thighs or arms until they were black and blue. I'd punch things until my knuckles bled. I'd pull my hair out. I started to play a lot of sports so i had to stop that. As an adult, I take whatever medications I can find in the house, when I have a big crazy freak out. I don't even know what the pills might do to me if anything at all. I think I just feel good knowing that I shouldn't be doing that and am probably hurting my body. I don't know why I do this. I promised my husband I would stop that. I just can't deal with stress.

I told some close friends what went on in my mind and how I ate everyday. They told me I was crazy and didn't need to lose any more weight. Said to stop counting my calories, stop obsessing over food, stop weighing myself five times a day everyday. I started relaxing more.

I don't blame anyone but myself. I weighed myself today and saw 122 on the scale. I promised myself I'd never see number a number over 115 again. I can't believe I did this to myself. How did I let this happen? Why did I let myself become this? I know what I have to do to be thin. Why do I let myself eat so much? Most times I'm not even hungry, I just can't stop stuffing food in my face.

I'm a fat fucking pig. I'm disgusting. I just threw everything up and then took some laxative tea. I'd never purged on purpose before in my life. I should be grateful that it came to me very easily. I hope I'm not actually 122. I'm afraid to weigh myself again.

I hate the way my brain is. I hate myself so much. I wish I could just be normal and happy. Why am I so stupid?

I don't know why I started typing this. I've started and deleted so many intro posts to this subreddit before. This time I think I will press send.

I am 28 years old, 5'4", and will be 110 or lower by February 13. No matter what. I will be happy on February 13.

Thanks for reading. I promise to start contributing everyday.



[Thinspo] music videos you use as thinspo?
/u/skinnyb0y [5Ā“8 | 112 | 16,84 | -21lbs | male]
Created: Fri Jan 8 19:36:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/404g17/music_videos_you_use_as_thinspo/
---
do you use some music videos as thinspo? wich ones?
i somestimes watch pia miaĀ“s do it again sheĀ“s so skinny, also how deep is your love by calvin harris ft diciples, gigi hadid is really skinny and good looking, and last but not least bad blood by taylor swift, is full of skinny people, exept for lena dunham and a few more, but i totally get motivated after watching it.

ELI5: How is this entire sub not purely for attention?
/u/ruin9k
Created: Fri Jan 8 18:49:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4049lb/eli5_how_is_this_entire_sub_not_purely_for/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] For those with a uterus, how does your cycle affect your calorie consumption? [TMI inside]
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 17:18:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/403x5b/for_those_with_a_uterus_how_does_your_cycle/
---
I guess I started my period thing last night so that must be why I was so fucking ravenous yesterday. I say "period thing" because I had an IUD put in after my son was born so the lining of my uterus never had the chance to "grow" and the IUD prevents it from starting to grow so I don't "shed" anything. It's like my uterus is shooting blanks or something. I still ovulate, however infrequently, but I rarely get cramps or have tinged discharge. Sorry for the TMI. If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought I was in the early stages of labor last night- that's how bad my cramps were. I was literally in the kitchen leaning over the counter trying to breathe and moan through them. Fucking uterus.





ANYWAY. I posted yesterday about how I couldn't get food off my mind and how I just wanted to stuff my face with anything I could get my hands on. I wasn't even hungry, I just wanted food in my mouth RI MEOW. So I'm gonna go ahead and blame that on my cycle because I'm not normally like that. Good to know! I guess I can start tracking my cycle thing so I know when to expect days like yesterday, although I can really only track my cervical mucus and even then it'll only work if I actually ovulate that month. My cycle has never been consistent :/ Do you track your cycle for the purpose of knowing when your "bad" days might be? I can't think of a better word than "bad" but I mean days where you're not yourself (ED-wise) and you know it's because of your cycle.

[Help] Other good sub reddits and good Pinterest boards?
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | 32.28 | -50 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 17:04:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/403v1l/other_good_sub_reddits_and_good_pinterest_boards/
---
I have a fresh Reddit account and a fresh Pinterest account (why did I not have one before?!) and I have no idea what I should follow.

I'm looking for thinspo, low cal food, and exercise stuff (mostly stuff I can do in doors with no equipment. It's 20F outside right now no way I'm going out).

I'd love any suggestions <3

[Tip] More short workout videos
/u/bonedust_pale [5'|GW 94.5|-49.9|F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 16:21:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/403oin/more_short_workout_videos/
---
Skinnystems inspired me to post some of my fave workout videos. The girl in these videos talks, and keeps you accountable. It helps me stay on track, smile, and want to do my best. She keeps things exciting and you get challenged. Some of you might find the constant comments from her annoying, but if it helps you like it does for me, please check these out:

I like this video for abs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNMycpSbQEI The workout starts at 1:10 and ends at 9:30 there are 10 ab moves.
* Rollup w/twist
* Ankle reaches
* Flutters
* Criss-crosses
* Eagle crunch
* Hollow rock
* Russian twist (yay Russia!)
* Corkscrew
* Plant twist
* Plank

5 minute butt workout video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwVzamFR-tg

Anyone have other videos with an energetic feel to them to share? I love finding new ones to try out.


[Tip] If you find yourself....
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Fri Jan 8 15:53:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/403kan/if_you_find_yourself/
---
having a hard time getting in some excersize, I recommend eight minute abs on YouTube. https://youtu.be/vkKCVCZe474

Literally only eight minutes. Which doesn't feel like that long. Just get through it and you WILL feel it in the morning.

[Discussion] What makes a fast successful for you?/ What are some realistic expectations? [Discussion]
/u/paradisedeparted
Created: Fri Jan 8 15:38:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/403hxp/what_makes_a_fast_successful_for_you_what_are/
---
I'm doing a five day fast from the 12th-16th and I was looking for some insight on what others have experienced: what makes a fast successful, the results, how it felt, your opinion on how effective it was, what helped keep you motivated etc.

I will only be drinking water during this time and to be honest I'm really excited! I've only done a two day fast before and this time I think I can do five. Any advice, insight, opinions, stories or whatever would be appreciated. Thank you!

[Rant] Tired of Eating [Rant/Looking for Advice]
/u/dongledongs [5'5" | 135 lbs | GW 115 | 22.46 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 13:29:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/402wpd/tired_of_eating_rantlooking_for_advice/
---
I've had an eating disorder since I was 11 (classified as otherwise unspecified because I would restrict but also throw up), and have been in "recovery" ever since (I'm now 19. Sorry about no flair. New to the sub and on mobile but I'll fix that). In reality I just stopped caring and ate what I wanted. I was always naturally pretty skinny, but after a certain antidepressant made me gain 60 lbs (fuck you Lexapro) and then I lost it again within a year (thank you Welbutrin), I just stopped caring about what I ate. Then my Mom lost her job and we ate fast food a lot more often.


So I'm just gonna be honest: I'm sick of food. I'm sick of eating. I miss being thin and seeing my weight at >110. I have an hourglass figure, sure, but I have dimply thighs, fat as shit fucking arms, and a less than stellar fat ass. I'm 135 now and skinny fat and I hate it. I hate the comments of "Oh your waist is so thin, but you're so *generous* at the bottom." All these fucking comments to me about being "voluptuous" or "curvy". It all stops now.


I'm home, baby.


But I don't really know where to start. I've been eating fast food for so long, like 2 straight years. Any advice on where to start restricting? It feels like when I eat anything other than fast food, I get all shaky/tired/hungry. It's like torture. I just want to stop eating.

[Help] Getting enough protein?
/u/qwertylooping
Created: Fri Jan 8 13:22:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/402vn7/getting_enough_protein/
---
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, but I don't want to face the backlash from r/loseit...

Does anyone here try to restrict calories to very low amounts while still getting their required protein? Most food diaries I've seen here aren't very protein-filled and I'm wondering my muscle mass will still be preserved if I'm eating 60g protein at ~600kcal a day.

[Discussion] Trigger Food
/u/faebun [5'6 | 137.2lb | 22.1 | 26.8lb | NB]
Created: Fri Jan 8 12:55:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/402r58/trigger_food/
---
Does anyone else have that one food they're completely powerless against? For me it's Mac and cheese. If I see someone eating it I HAVE to have some, and then I b/p on it.

[Help] [Update] Not sure if this is the right place...
/u/thininsp
Created: Fri Jan 8 12:51:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/402qfo/update_not_sure_if_this_is_the_right_place/
---
You guys were so nice and helpful that I thought I would update on my whole "husband pushing food" situation. We sat down and had a huge talk about stuff. I explained to him that he is way bigger than me, and if we both ate 2500 calories a day, he would maintain his weight and I would gain a LOT of weight on a consistent basis. I showed him online calculators and stuff. We talked about intermittent fasting and I showed him how I could have my coffee in the morning and then skip breakfast and lunch and I would have enough calories left to eat dinner with him AND a snack (since he said it was important to him to eat a snack with me while we watch tv/play video games).

I explained that as long as I ate enough calories in a **day**, why does it matter what time of day I eat them? He AGREED! So I went shopping and got stuff for snacks (haha). Last night I ate a small plate of baby dill pickles cut into rounds, while he had a bowl of icecream. He was super happy I was eating "a whole plate of food" and I was super happy that my "snack" was 20 whole calories.

I'm not fooling myself to think he won't push food on me anymore, but at least he has a better grasp of how our eating habits should be different, and how pushing high calorie foods on me is stressing me out.

Creep 2
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 8 12:48:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/402py5/creep_2/
---
http://imgur.com/biUtyHl

Creep
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 8 12:45:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/402pfv/creep/
---
http://imgur.com/FB2os7P

[Tip] Recently discovered this "trick" to finding some motivation...
/u/130ismygoal [5'7" | 153 | 23.9 | -29 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 12:26:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/402m73/recently_discovered_this_trick_to_finding_some/
---
This might sound like some high school shit but I came across my new boyfriend's ex-girlfriend on IG. I'm not the outwardly jealous type but in the privacy of my own home, under my bed covers, I scrolled through her entire damn history. I felt my cheeks getting hot and I was suddenly bursting with energy, with an uneasy stomach to go with it. I couldn't sit still. She's so petite- not skinny necessarily (from what I can tell), but just a much smaller person than I will ever be. I had this visceral reaction that immediately made me want to launch out of the room to run laps and possibly never eat again.

It's fucked up, I know, but now whenever I need to suppress my appetite or get pumped up for a run, I go back to her page. Logically, I'm so against tearing down other women and making comparisons about our appearance but this isn't logical- it's like a gut level reaction that gives me the intense motivation to **be better**. And it's working.

[Discussion] Clothing Exchange? Just an idea.
/u/christmoose [5'6" | 129 lbs | 20.82 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 12:04:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/402ifa/clothing_exchange_just_an_idea/
---
I've lost about 20lbs over the last 6 months, and I no longer fit in any of my clothes that are meant to be worn close to the body (mostly just pants. I like baggy tops so they're only getting better). I just thought about you guys and thought that maybe we could try to do a "weightloss hand-me-down" clothing exchange or something. I haven't really thought too hard about details, but thought it might be a good idea to work at the dual function of not spending a ton of money on new jeans I am not planning on fitting in in a couple months/not having to live exclusively in slightly-baggy leggings and gaping jeans and getting rid of my "security pants" that are a size too big while helping out you other ladies! (I assume the guys on here don't want my pants, but I suppose I could be wrong)

I guess I just wanted to feel out interest and if so, maybe we could work out details. I'm just starting to get active in this sub after lurking for a while, so I don't know if this has already been suggested (tried searching keywords and didn't find anything).

[Discussion] [Discussion] I think this sub is being lurked by creepy dudes
/u/Ihatemybodyhelpme [5'5ft| 95lb |16bmi | f]
Created: Fri Jan 8 11:57:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/402har/discussion_i_think_this_sub_is_being_lurked_by/
---
Every time I post in this sub, I get a pm asking me for pictures of my body to be "critiqued". I go to check the profile of the person and it's always a creepy pervert that mostly comments in NSFW subs.

Has anyone else experienced this? Or is it just me?

[Discussion] Timing of eating and restricting while exercising
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |101.2|17.3|-15 since joining|GW 95| F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 10:41:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/40249r/timing_of_eating_and_restricting_while_exercising/
---
For those who exercise, how do you eat around your workout schedule for the most energy?



[Discussion] Does anyone else do weird visualizations/mantras while they're fasting?
/u/psych0candy [5'5" | 173 | 28.8 | -12 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 10:08:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/401yi7/does_anyone_else_do_weird_visualizationsmantras/
---
I like to picture myself as a person made out of clean, thick glass with a hollow center when I'm fasting. Whatever I eat, people can see through the glass. It can either be clear and beautiful, (honey-colored tea, brightly-hued, fizzy zero calorie energy drinks, clear water), or it can be chunky and disgusting, (chewed meat, wet bread, floaty shards of chips, puss-y puddles of ice cream, nasty curds of chewed-up cheese). It's kind of a game. How pretty can I make my insides look today?

Is that weird?

[Discussion] Counting alcohol?
/u/electille [5'7 | 123 | 19.2 | ?]
Created: Fri Jan 8 09:33:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/401soj/counting_alcohol/
---
Should I really care? Alcohol as in rum or cognac or vodka from the bottle, not beer or Smirnoff Ice or mixed drinks. It's the only way I can have fun when I go to a party or anything, but when I have beer or Smirnoff Ice I tend to have over twice the amount of calories I ate that day JUST in drinks.

Are spirits lower calorie? Or should I just stop thinking about calories in alcohol and get fucked if that's means I have fun? I don't wanna be a buzzkill.

[Goal] Just a thank you for the accountability/support here. Lowest weight since joining this sub
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |101.2|17.3|-15 since joining|GW 95| F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 09:16:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/401q0o/just_a_thank_you_for_the_accountabilitysupport/
---
Thank you. I've posted a lot here before, but have deleted most of them...so it's okay if nobody knows who I am, hah.


Anyway, I joined back at the end August of 2015 at around 116. I was obviously hoping to lose a lot faster, but the progress has been slow. I am about halfway to my goal weight of 95 though.


Today's weight was 106, and it's good to know that it's moving in the right direction. Ten lbs in like 4ish months is ridiculously slow though, but I am starting to get my binging and purging under control.


Next up, 100 lbs, by the end of this month. I know that was my goal a long time ago, but I am ready for discipline and success. I have no excuses, ever. It's all about how hard I work for this.


I felt my best without being overly sick at 94.6, and I can't wait until I get back there. Crisp. Defined.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 8 09:02:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/401nxa/daily_food_diary_january_08_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 08, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] Friday fast!
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 156lbs | 24 | - 24 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 09:00:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/401nny/friday_fast/
---
Time for my Friday fast! I didn't do the last 2 because of the holidays and I need to loose the 3 lbs I gained back, and another 40 on top of that.

Who's down to join me?

I'd really like to do 2 days, but we'll see.

[Discussion] I don't look any thinner, but other people look fatter?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Jan 8 07:35:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/401bab/i_dont_look_any_thinner_but_other_people_look/
---
Has this happened to you? I've dropped 25lbs and two pant sizes but I look the same. But lately I've noticed that friends who were overweight before look HUGE to me now. Maybe they gained but I'm worried that my perception of reality is shifting

[Discussion] Can anyone else relate?
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Fri Jan 8 06:51:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4015hn/can_anyone_else_relate/
---
I look at myself in the mirror, I study my gaps and bones and size. I find myself content with how I look and admiring my body... until I see myself in a picture. I SWEAR that saying "pictures add ten pounds", it's true. It's so frustrating.

[Help] How do I respond?
/u/electille [5'7 | 123 | 19.2 | ?]
Created: Fri Jan 8 06:45:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4014t8/how_do_i_respond/
---
This girl at school (who, by the way, is really nice and pretty and has a lot of friends) is like always saying "Wow, you're so skinny and healthy, I'm so jealous omg tell me your secret!! I wanna be like you" (I don't look emaciated yet or anything, just on the lower side of healthy weight).

What should I say? Just laugh and brush it off like I'm not super skinny? Give her actual fitness and healthy living (no restriction) tips? Ignore it?

[Discussion] Awareness of other people's size and habbits
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 149lbs | 22.7 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 8 06:33:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/4013c4/awareness_of_other_peoples_size_and_habbits/
---
Has anyone else found themselves become super aware of what people look like and size changes in people they know because of their own awareness over size and change? I find myself constantly looking at everyone's legs, what people are eating, the shape of people's faces, changes in people's weight, how quickly other people each food as well as how much they eat before they say they're full, just stuff they wouldn't have even considered really paying attention to before.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! January 08, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 8 05:02:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/400tlw/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_january_08/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for January 08, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant] Don't try and tell me you can't feel full while restricting.
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Fri Jan 8 02:33:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/400fc4/dont_try_and_tell_me_you_cant_feel_full_while/
---
Please allow me to rant for a moment.

I have a friend who says **1200 calories** is impossible for her and I feel like my brain will explode because 1 ENTIRE CAN of green beans is 70 calories. Put that shit in a pan with a veggie bouillon cube (15 calories) and a minced clove of garlic (~4 calories) and cook the shit out of it. That is a bowl full of awesome and it clocks in at less than 100 calories. Vegetables are low calorie. I mean, you'd have to eat crazy amounts to over do it. I want to punch her because she thinks that giving up a Big Mac is too much a sacrifice. Maybe if you ate less cow, you'd look less like one.

I'm so sorry. Usually I'd be more forgiving but this is the friend who is 4'9", 150lbs and called me a fatty for eating a cinnamon bun, triggering a binge that completely threw me off track. Ugh.

[Discussion] Found an article that I found interesting and though you guys might too.
/u/shallowmeans [5'4 | 112 | 19.6 | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 23:28:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zzwsz/found_an_article_that_i_found_interesting_and/
---
http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/well/2016/01/07/rethinking-weight-loss-and-the-reasons-were-always-hungry/?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&_r=0&referer=

[Help] dizzy
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Thu Jan 7 23:27:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zzwn0/dizzy/
---
been super dizzy this week. eating 800 -900 cals a day
any suggestions?



[Discussion] [Intro] Hello!
/u/Navelpudding [5' 6" | 200 | 32.28 | -50 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 22:37:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zzqm0/intro_hello/
---
I don't really have anything fun or interesting to add here, I just wanted to say hi! I've lurked for ~5 months and have now decided to join the community that I love but feared joining (go social anxiety?!)

[Discussion] Fit-bit and other fitness trackers.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Thu Jan 7 20:33:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zz9nj/fitbit_and_other_fitness_trackers/
---
So I used a pedometer app on my phone for a few months and found the reading to be comforting when I did eat because it showed how many calories I burned, I walk about 5 to 10 miles a day for my job and just in general because I love walking.

I recently was gifted a fitbit flex by my parents for xmas and have been trying to figure out how to get the most out of it. I use the app in conjunction with my fitness pal (not aware of any better apps for tracking intake and calories burned but would love any advice or recomendations.)

I have a few questions regarding the fitbit flex and other trackers,

how accurate are they with how many calories they say are burned?

Is it possible to use it to track calories burned at the gym? I use the elliptical and treadmills mostly and don't want it to count my calories twice. Should i just ignore any calories burned at the gym and only count those recorded by the fitbit?

what has everyone's experiences been with fitness trackers and fitbits in particular?

[Rant] Post-binge entry. I fucked up major but maybe not as bad as I could have.
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Thu Jan 7 20:22:24 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zz7xs/postbinge_entry_i_fucked_up_major_but_maybe_not/
---
So i don't know who has been paying attention but I pretty much didn't eat for a week. I ate last friday then some how managed to make it to today eating only two pints of arctic zero low calorie ice cream and a few sugar free energy drinks and coffee. I just binged. I feel awful. I did the right thing and inputted everything to my fitbit app which I have been using.

I am honestly not sure where fitbit gets it's numbers from. According to the app I had burned 2900 calories or so throughout the day, not sure how much of that was at the gym because i think it only counted my steps and not the actually exercise (According to the treadmill and elliptical I was close to 1200 or 1000 calories burned total. ) I don't know how much fitbit accounts for that.

I binged on about 1700 calories. So according to fitbit I am still under for the day. what.the.fuck. is this real? Am I going to gain weight or retain all this food after practically starving. I don't want this to happen again and plan to go to the gym in the future. I feel ashamed and awful but hope the binge is moot with all the exercise I am going. I lost a couple pounds in the last week that I don't really want to see again.

I am a guy who recently passed the 160 threshold and have no intention of backtracking up above that. After checking my weight based on my binge I am at 160 or a pound above. I hope by tomorrow the scale registers closer to where it was. around 157...

-P

[Thinspo] Small Waist Vintage Thinspo
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Thu Jan 7 19:47:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zz2on/small_waist_vintage_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/nz5te

[Discussion] A funny (though sometimes gross) site that helped me lose my appetite
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 18:16:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zyoby/a_funny_though_sometimes_gross_site_that_helped/
---
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

[Help] Increasing intake
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 18:12:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zynnm/increasing_intake/
---
I'm thinking of increasing my daily caloric intake to around 400 cals, because I need more variety in my meals. But I'm worried it will decrease my weight loss, especially since my weight has plateaued these days. So will this make me gain?

Also if anyone has any low cal recipes I'd love to hear them.

[Rant] Frustrated with slow progress
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Thu Jan 7 17:52:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zykos/frustrated_with_slow_progress/
---
I've been restricting for the past 5 weeks or so, and have lost 10 lbs. By conventional standards that's good progress, but I really want to be skinnier faster! I'm eating 1500 or less calories per day and exercising away at least 1200 EVERY DAY (3-4 hours of hiking before work, usually to some distant restaurant for a tasty brunch, and 45 minutes of intense cardio at night). I don't know what more I can be doing... I just want to get rid of my belly fat (and yes, I'm doing crunches so the weight I lose isn't only muscle).

I guess I don't care so much about the actual number, I just wish I LOOKED better... It would also be nice if my irl friends would be more supportive of my exercising so I can do my dream cosplay, but sadly not many seem to have faith I can do it... So frustrating to stay motivated...

Thanks for reading this rant!

[Rant] Anyone know stores pretty true to size and without vanity sizing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 7 17:41:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zyive/anyone_know_stores_pretty_true_to_size_and/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] just had one of the worst days in months
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 7 17:24:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zyg69/just_had_one_of_the_worst_days_in_months/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Binge Nightmare
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 103 | 17.3 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 17:04:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zyd06/binge_nightmare/
---
I had this insane nightmare where I was binging on a bunch of caloric shit. I was eating a giant can of peanuts until they turned into a giant can of cashews. I don't like cashews (too sweet) but I kept eating them. I got halfway through the can and decided against finishing them because then my parents might call me greedy (I have a thing against finishing anything- it's a fear stemming from childhood abuse.)

So I drove to a gas station, went over to the jerky section and was eating beef jerky, slim jims, dried sausages, pretty much any meat there was on the shelf. Then I was eating chips and crackers and stuff.

After I paid for my epic bingefest I went into an abandoned house to purge everything when my boyfriend showed up. He kept knocking on the bathroom door and asking if I was okay. I finished purging and walked out. He and I cuddled for a bit and then he said, "Let's go out. I'm hungry and I know you're hungry." So we went to a restaurant- I think it was Denny's or something. And I was eating a ton of blueberry pancakes covered in pink, purple, and blue [glitter frosting](http://www.allthosethingsilove.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Fullscreen-capture-882012-123413-AM.bmp.jpg). I remember he wouldn't let me purge that. We went on a walk because he needed to walk his dog and he was asking me why I was purging. I told him it was because I'm disgusting and I eat too much and it helps me feel a bit better. He told me how I don't need to do that and that I should stop before I die.

When I woke up I was all panicky wondering if it was real or not. But seeing as how my stomach and teeth feel fine and I'm not missing any money or anything it was just a dream. Still freaked out about it though.

I get a lot of food dreams/ nightmares, I know it's common for people with EDs. But I think this one was one of the more intense nightmares about binging I've had. I also get a ton of vivid dreams anyway- it's a side effect of my medication. What was your most horrifying one+ did you have one recently?

[Help] That grumbling stomach. How to cope?
/u/coppersense
Created: Thu Jan 7 16:49:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zyai8/that_grumbling_stomach_how_to_cope/
---
One thing I had about restricting is that my stomach will growl, especially at work in meetings. I can deal with the light-headedness and the moodiness, but it's so embarrassing for me when it growls. I don't want to eat to fix it, but nothing seems to help. Any tips?

[Thinspo] This woman is fucking amazing. She's recovered/recovering and looks even more phenomenal. GOALS. Insta @healing_tillie
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 7 16:07:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zy3pq/this_woman_is_fucking_amazing_shes/
---
http://i.imgur.com/WgeGdtg.jpg

[Rant] In the hospital fucked up again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 7 15:36:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zxy9p/in_the_hospital_fucked_up_again/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] zero! zero zero zero!
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 112 | 19.22 | -5 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 15:05:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zxsx4/zero_zero_zero_zero/
---
My mother ordered some pants from anthropologie in a zero, for some reason (she's been complaining about gaining weight for about a year and has probably gained ~10 lbs) and they didnt fit her so she had me try them on. They fit!!! I'm so so so surprised and happy and they're a liiiiiittle tight on the knees but the waist has plenty of room. I didn't think I would even kind of fit into them. All I can think is that anthropologie MUST vanity size!

**bonus!** [still got da (tiny) booty doh](http://imgur.com/a/Lt14L)

**bonus for me!!** rewarding myself with a hard cider #sugar central

[Rant] UPDATE: New Years shit-show aftermath
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 14:39:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zxodu/update_new_years_shitshow_aftermath/
---
[Original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z3b9t/nye_was_a_shitshow_and_i_am_a_trainwreck_of_a/)

I have been encouraged to get help. It's funny how when I asked for help before, no one took me seriously. But breaking down in front of people works.

The man I am sort-of-seeing is being very supportive and calls me to check in quite a bit. I've told a few friends I am doing poorly, but not about the ED.

With my "partners" encouragement, I ended up visiting with the county support center for rape and they referred me to a psychiatrist. So now I am on Prozac. I did NOT tell them about my ED but I am not too keen on having suicidal thoughts and near constant anxiety, so hopefully it'll help with that. This is day two.

I binged the first day but friends were here and I possibly left Pro-ED up on my laptop (but it was likely another subreddit). I decided to eat in front of them to make it seem less suspicious and got a bit carried away. Although fasting today should make it up just fine. I'm really scared I'll gain weight on antidepressants, so hopefully that doesn't happen. What's nice is that I have a convenient excuse for weight loss- My now diagnosed depression "makes me lose my appetite." So that's nice.

[Discussion] Does postponing eating help you eat less?
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 152# | 26% | -38# | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 14:26:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zxm77/does_postponing_eating_help_you_eat_less/
---
Because of an appointment I didn't have the opportunity to eat anything until about 3pm. I've had only 300 kcal today (I usually eat about 1000) but I currently feel just like I do when I binge all 1000 at once. This makes me much less inclined to eat later. If I make a habit of only eating late in the day I might be able to cut out a couple hundred more calories?

[Rant] I can't focus today.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 13:23:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zxb9b/i_cant_focus_today/
---
I'm struggling. All I can think about is food. All I can smell is food. The Bucca Di Beppo gift cards my in-laws gave us for Christmas are burning holes in my wallet. I just want to shove a loaf of French bread in my face. My green tea just isn't cutting it today. I'm not even *physically* hungry right now; my stomach isn't growling or aching- my addict brain is just fucking with me.

[Help] I'm so impatient with weight loss...how often do you weight yourself and does it help with feelings of progress?
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |101.2|17.3|-15 since joining|GW 95| F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 13:18:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zxa8j/im_so_impatient_with_weight_losshow_often_do_you/
---
This is just a rant. Weight loss is so slow and the restriction process, meal planning, weighing, day after day waiting just seems so long. I just want to be at 95 lbs already.


I weigh myself everyday but am wondering if I should start doing it every other day. I want to, but I don't think I will be able to. Not knowing my weight is too anxiety-provoking.


It just takes so much work to lose weight. It's hard to be motivated when I feel like I'm not making progress fast enough.



[Help] Electrolytes
/u/christmoose [5'6" | 129 lbs | 20.82 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 13:10:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zx8ya/electrolytes/
---
Is there a good way to keep my electrolytes in check while restricting if I can't drink artificial sweeteners? I don't want to drink diet sports drinks because aspartame gives me serious headaches and the taste of artificial sweeteners makes me gag.

I don't want to spend any calories on sports drinks and the like, but you guys are really making me question my electrolyte consumption!

Pills
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Jan 7 10:22:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zwfp9/pills/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 7 09:02:12 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zw2ku/daily_food_diary_january_07_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 07, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] How do I know if I just lost water weight or real weight?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Thu Jan 7 07:34:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zvpit/how_do_i_know_if_i_just_lost_water_weight_or_real/
---
I have been restricting heavily for the past week and have lost some pounds. I have also been working out at the gym almost every day but I haven't had a bowel movement in over a week (the only thing I ate was a pint of super low calories ice cream 150 calories) and that was almost two days ago. The scale was dropping consistently because I wasn't eating then It just stopped. I think I am retaining water now and don't know how to stop it..

[Discussion] What was the longest you've gone without food? What did you consume during that time?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Thu Jan 7 07:01:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zvl0m/what_was_the_longest_youve_gone_without_food_what/
---
I write novels on wattpad and one of them is about a young man (Noah) getting influenced by another (Davin) into developing anorexia. All of my books are realistic and factual and this subreddit (plus experience) helped me achieve that greatly, but now I wish to know how far I can stretch Davin's behavior.

Personally, I went three days without food before my father started noticing my cheeks get hollow and I panicked and therefore ate. Otherwise, I'm sure I would've gone further... How about you?

[Rant] today i fucked up :(
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 06:56:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zvkag/today_i_fucked_up/
---
http://i.imgur.com/QB085pk.jpg

[Help] Fasting without drugs?
/u/FeedMeDreams [5'5" | 57.4kg | 21.1 | F]
Created: Thu Jan 7 06:08:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zveg3/fasting_without_drugs/
---
So long story short, I have to stop taking Adderall. The problem is, it's the only thing which keeps my appetite down enough for me to fast. Without it, I start eating, and when I eat, I binge, then purge, then eat again... It never ends.

I can't be trusted with regular restricting. Fasting is all I have. When I stop taking the pills, I get hungrier than ever. I have to stop taking them, but I cannot gain weight again. Does anyone have any tips? Experience? Anything? :-(

[Rant] I'm so disgusting.
/u/sarahPenguin [5'6"| 191lbs | 30.95 | -52lbs | MtF]
Created: Thu Jan 7 05:40:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zvb6h/im_so_disgusting/
---
I binged and I need this food out of me, I can't take it being in me any longer I need it out. No matter how many times I shove my fingers down my throat it won't come out. That's how much of a fuck up I am, I can't even shove my fingers down my throat right. I don't want to pretend i know how to be functional anymore, why does everyone keep expecting me to act like i'm not broken. I can't even remember the last time I ate proper food I just binge on crap then restrict over and over. on top of all that my seasonal affective disorder means that no matter how much I sleep i'm still so tired I feel like my eyes are going to start bleeding. no matter how much I pretend I don't exist i'm still here.

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support January 07, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Jan 7 05:02:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zv785/weekly_emotional_support_january_07_2016/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to /u/InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Discussion] Do you round your weight?
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 23:28:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zu9so/do_you_round_your_weight/
---
Hey guys, can't flair on mobile sorry :(. So as you can see I have my info written as me being 5'8 because I recently measures myself and I was like 5'7 3/4 inch. Should I round up? If I round up from 5'7 to 5'8 I lose an entire bmi point and I want to know if I'm lying to myself :( thanks lovelies xx
Edit: round your height** ugh I'm so tired

[Thinspo] Legs...
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Wed Jan 6 22:49:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zu4ui/legs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/j1Lb1Ew.jpg

[Thinspo] Album
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 22:05:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ztyuy/album/
---
http://m.imgur.com/uvmez0j,vZOruAj,LVNG8nx,oZP4eog,IwSyFcC

[Tip] 1/2c pumpkin purƩe + Splenda + cinnamon = ~50 calories of warm deliciousness.
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Wed Jan 6 21:26:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zttaq/12c_pumpkin_purƩe_splenda_cinnamon_50_calories_of/
---
http://imgur.com/mYeuY8S

[Tip] [tip] just a heads up
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 6 21:02:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ztq46/tip_just_a_heads_up/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What do we talk about when we talk about eating disorders?
/u/ed_researcher
Created: Wed Jan 6 20:12:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ztiso/what_do_we_talk_about_when_we_talk_about_eating/
---
Hello, fellow members of r/proED! For my senior honors thesis in Linguistics, I intend to study gendered discourse in online support communities focused on eating disorders, and how these discourses have evolved from their earliest conception during the first wave of pro ana blogging (late 1990s-early 2000s) to the second wave (mid 2000s) that arose from the proliferation of early social media and blogging communities.

My participation in pro ana communities began in 2006-2007; during a recent relapse, I noticed that the way community members were speaking about themselves and their illness(es) was markedly different from the discourses I engaged with less than a decade ago.

I am particularly interested in how pro ana discourse intersects with feminist discourse. The archetype of the eating disordered individual is a white, middle- to upper-middle class heterosexual young woman with a proclivity for perfection; subaltern and/or intersectional narratives are rarely explored in mainstream depictions of eating disorders.

For my research, I would like to study the discourse patterns of the community of practice centered around this subreddit. Much of the research on eating disorders has been conducted by professionals, and formerly eating disordered individuals generally produce memoirs (e.g. Wasted). I hope my research will bridge the gap between these objectively-driven studies and subjectively personal narratives, and provide a more balanced approach to examining current ED practices and ideologies.

You can comment below, message me here, or email me at edresearcher45@gmail.com if you would like to contact me further or ask any questions about my research. For now, I will only be observing; later on, I may take part in discussions.

tl;dr: I would like to conduct long-term discourse analysis in this subreddit. This research will not be published, but if the findings are significant, may provide an opportunity to embark on a follow-up study.

[Rant] Those moment when you're like damn, I want to shove my face in a blender and put it on puree
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 6 19:58:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ztgq4/those_moment_when_youre_like_damn_i_want_to_shove/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Old self
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 6 19:32:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ztcjy/old_self/
---
http://imgur.com/a/L5VMb

[Goal] Struggling with daily binges, aiming just for a healthy weight, first day of Primatene....
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 16:04:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zseub/struggling_with_daily_binges_aiming_just_for_a/
---
Oh. My. God.

I want to cry I'm so happy. I struggle so so so so hard to stay within my 1000-1300 calorie goal each day and this stuff has KILLED any urge to binge. I'm even sitting right by snacks now, but I feel totally content after lunch to wait until dinner.

Following the instructions carefully, but I see why you guys love the stuff. Also found out that my local Walgreens carries Bronkaid, Primatene, and a stre brand with the same ingredients for like $3 less.

Thank you all so much. I may not be aiming for an under 18 BMI, but if it wasn't for the resources here
I feel like my binge eating could've pushed me out of a healthy range for good.

You guys rock! <3

[Rant] [Rant] Nothing looks good on me :(
/u/Ihatemybodyhelpme [5'5ft| 95lb |16bmi | f]
Created: Wed Jan 6 15:57:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zsdlr/rant_nothing_looks_good_on_me/
---
I look ugly in everything I wear because nothing fits me the right way, not even size 0. I get so depressed after buying clothes because I never look cute in them. I swear I'm ugly skinny not pretty skinny, no matter how hard I try and my self esteem keeps getting worse and worse. I don't like wearing skinny jeans anymore beacause i don't want anyone to see my legs because I hate the way I walk. I don't wear tight shirts in public because I hate that my back looks curved. I used to love going shopping but not anymore. Do any of you guys feel the same way?

[Discussion] A group of us were playing pro-ana cards against humanity. Here are of our favorites.
/u/calorified
Created: Wed Jan 6 15:56:21 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zsdi8/a_group_of_us_were_playing_proana_cards_against/
---
http://imgur.com/a/IBdf7

[Help] My fitness pal
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Wed Jan 6 15:51:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zscmr/my_fitness_pal/
---
SO, I have recently downloaded the app, my fitness pal and I love the whole concept! But as I put in my calculations, which would be 5'4" and 114, and wanting to lose 2lbs a week and get to 100lbs, it gives me 1,200 calories to work with in a day. I also said that I am only lightly active. Which I may be more, considering I'm a server, but I don't feel like it, so besides that, would y'all think that would be accurate? Would I actually be able to lose 2lbs a week on 1,200 calories a day and being "lightly active"?

Thank you.

[Help] If you're tempted to binge or feel one coming on right now-
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 126lbs | BMI 19.67 | Weight Lost: 19.5lbs | Female]
Created: Wed Jan 6 15:08:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zs54t/if_youre_tempted_to_binge_or_feel_one_coming_on/
---
Google Pro Ana. Google thinspo. Google whatever bones you want to see most.

Saved all my favourites to my phone and it's stopped me wandering to the kitchen.

So now you've staved off 10 minutes of eating by saving photos, keep going over them and over them.

Getting a body like them isn't going to happen if you just eat whenever you want.

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Lean back
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 15:05:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zs4lf/thinspo_lean_back/
---
http://i.imgur.com/afFQcFG.jpg

[Help] Any advice on how to stop purging?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Jan 6 11:45:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zr6du/any_advice_on_how_to_stop_purging/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Don't think I'm gonna make it through the day
/u/Skinnywolf9 [5'4" |130.4 | 22.82| -4| F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 10:49:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zqwf2/dont_think_im_gonna_make_it_through_the_day/
---
I slept terrible last night, had horrible dreams, and woke up udderly unmotivated and depressed.

My husband and I are going out to dinner with friends tonight, and my plan WAS to drink coffee all day, have a low fat cheese for lunch, then eat dinner/purge tonight. But I already feel the "binge" coming on. My binges aren't massive...more like what a normal petite woman would eat. Given our plans tonight and that it is ALSO my last week of vacation AND my birthday is Saturday (going out Friday too to celebrate with friends, so already planned to eat normal Friday-Saturday)...I just feel like f-it...eat normal this week and start again next week.

Drank my coffee, took some b12 and Bronkaid, and trying hard to stay on track. But no promises :( stupid brain, I feel like a failure.

[Goal] I just buttoned jeans I haven't fit into since before I had my first child.
/u/fattynomnoms
Created: Wed Jan 6 09:41:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zqkfs/i_just_buttoned_jeans_i_havent_fit_into_since/
---
I got pregnant back to back with my children, and that was the only time in recent memory that I've been less critical of myself, so I gained a lot of weight. Its been a long time since I've been anywhere near fitting into my pre-first-pregnancy jeans.

I've been using them as motivation, putting them on from time to time to see how I'm doing. Well, I'm on my period right now and haven't seen any number progress in days and I was feeling like shit. So, I thought seeing the pants over my ass (where it was last time, but way far from buttoning) would help me keep my goals in mind and help keep me from comfort eating like I tend to do on my period.

They buttoned. They fucking buttoned. And I zipped them, too. Granted, at any moment the button felt like it was going to fly off and kill someone, but they were INCHES away from buttoning last time I tried them on! Its just so weird that the number has stalled, but the inches are coming off. But I'll take it!

I'm just so elated! I haven't felt this good in ages, and I had to tell someone who'd appreciate it!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 06, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Jan 6 09:02:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zqdrg/daily_food_diary_january_06_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 06, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Intro (long)(mobile)
/u/Skinnystems
Created: Wed Jan 6 08:55:19 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zqckl/intro_longmobile/
---
Hi y'all, Skinnystems here. Warning: wall of text. Been lurking for awhile on another account, but made another one so I could actually participate a bit in this community. I first must say that I would never encourage unhealthy or disordered eating habits in others, and I would definitely say that I don't have an ED myself. But I certainly can admit that I do have a disordered way of viewing myself I guess?? As well as an abnormal admiration for tiny, delicate bodies and desire to have one. I hope it's okay that I can be a part of this community, because I don't judge others for their choices or ED. I would never want anyone to harm themselves, of course. But for as long as I can remember, being a young girl even, I've really admired (kind of obsessively) thin girls and the way they look. Fragile. Delicate. I personally have fluctuated over the years, naturally I have a relatively fast metabolism. My highest weight was 126 at 5'4", lowest (when I was in my teens, 22 now) I was 98lbs up until the middle of my sophomore year. Currently I think I stand at 114. I've always felt more comfortable in my skin when I have been at a lower weight. I honestly have had this slight obsession in the back of my head for as long as I can remember, always pushing myself to "take care" of myself better. Be better. I have a twin sister who has had a baby, my beautiful niece is a year now, who is, after a baby, 105 pounds! Much less than I am. I love the way her collarbones and chest look. And I want that. She tells me I have body dysmorphia, and the way I see myself is completely wrong. She says she thinks a good weight for me is 114 and wishes she could gain. I am relatively comfortable at this weight, compared to the highest weight I have been, but it's not what I want. At all.. I also want to say that I am very body positive and I really do like myself. I see the potential of my body as a beautiful thing.

Anyways, I feel like I could talk forever about myself and try explaining who I am. šŸ˜³ Just wanted to put in my intro and say hello. I hope I'm okay to be here.

[Rant] Friend's eating habits are disgusting, it makes me angry
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed Jan 6 08:32:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zq8zn/friends_eating_habits_are_disgusting_it_makes_me/
---
I know this is probably mean, but it seriously grosses me out to the point of anger how my friend eats around me. Does anyone else feel this way?

Yesterday she ordered takeout, and instead of putting some on a plate, she put the whole thing in a large MIXING BOWL and ate it all in 5 minutes. I shouldn't be judging her because even though I'm restricting now, a few years ago I struggled with BED.

Maybe that's why I'm so viscerally disgusted by it. It's like looking in a mirror. At least it motivates me NEVER to go back to that.

[Help] Too afraid of the numbers on the scale.
/u/christmoose [5'6" | 129 lbs | 20.82 | -26lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 08:11:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zq5rc/too_afraid_of_the_numbers_on_the_scale/
---
I'm on mobile and can't flair this right now. Sorry!

Today is day 3 of my first EC stack. And for about a week prior I did the YC stack (couldn't find anywhere to get epinephrine online and had to get over the intense anxiety of talking to a pharmacist) over the 3 or 4 days the number on the scale has gone down 3.9lbs. The problem is that I'm TERRIFIED to put anything in my body that might change that trajectory -- or the appearance of that trajectory. Basically, I know how much water weight can be, and I'm so terrified of seeing even a small spike in my weight that I've been panicking about drinking enough water. The EC stack isn't helping either because diuretics+lack of water = really dehydrated.

How can I reconcile my fear of the scale with my need for water?

[Tip] Bored today? [PSA]
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" | 137.2 | 27.07 l -11.8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 07:36:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zq0p2/bored_today_psa/
---
TLC is having a My 600 Pound Life marathon! I love this show and my family thinks I'm weird for watching it, but I thought maybe some of you might share my excitement!

[Discussion] Article "On Feeling Fat and Feminist"
/u/sorry_ari [5'4 | 128 | 22.4 | -14 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 07:15:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zpxtx/article_on_feeling_fat_and_feminist/
---
I wanted to share this article because I feel very much this way. I have always known what is "good" for me. I am a feminist and I believe in the value of a healthy self-image, and even if a person is overweight I never want to take away their ability to love themselves as they work towards a healthy lifestyle, especially since I am not working towards health, but just the APPEARANCE of it.

I have been restricting pretty consistently the past few weeks (mostly just eating 1 to 2 meals a day, since adderall kills my appetite and I'm too lazy to shop/make myself food half the time anyway), with exceptions for Christmas, and an occasional break so I don't lose too fast, but I am finally 129 in the morning (haven't been in the 120s since 2014). The progress is addictive and I'm trying to reign in my own disordered thoughts. I have strong political opinions and sometimes kind of a dominating personality, and I want my words to have the weight that I'm losing. I want people to take me seriously, and to not think that what I'm telling them is a defense mechanism. But ironically, that is more likely to happen if I'm skinnier. I can't silence the voice in my head that tells me this. I can't love myself the way I love other people for who they are, and I can't take my own advice.

[Article](http://www.theradicalnotion.com/feeling-fat-feminist/)

[Rant] I hate Christmas... But sickness got me back on track.
/u/bestfuckingname [5'8" | 137 | 20,47 | -4,4 | F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 06:43:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zptqq/i_hate_christmas_but_sickness_got_me_back_on_track/
---
Over the holidays I've been eating way too much. Just like I do every year. And then, my new year's resolution is to lose weight. At the very least I didn't go over the 140 mark, because that's what I usually do. I feel so ugly and fat and disgusting.

Now for the "sickness" part. I've been getting really sick from eating that much (really, who in their right minds wouldn't?) and I have puked and laid in bed all day, without eating anything. The sickness really just lasted one day, but I forced myself into puking even more, so I didn't have to attend class (got to skip an exam, fuck yeah!) and stay at home. No food for three days and then "slowly started again" thanks to my mothers great advice. This was my motivation, since I've lost 2lbs in those days by basically doing nothing.

Gonna fast for a few days now and try to get back into exercising. Fortunately it's not too cold where I live so I can go jogging 'round the park a few times a week and otherwise, I'll just rape that treadmill and crosstrainer when home alone.

Wish me luck!

[Discussion] Do you guys have a reward system for reaching weight milestones?
/u/canwefloat [5'4.5 | 123 | - 8 | | F]
Created: Wed Jan 6 06:21:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zpqyq/do_you_guys_have_a_reward_system_for_reaching/
---
This is something that I do and it's really motivating. I won't buy these items until I reach my goal.
I'll give an example.

5 pounds lost - new makeup item

10 pounds lost - art supplies

15 pounds lost - mani/pedi

20 pounds lost - small tattoo


[Help] Not sure if this is the right place, but I could use some support.
/u/thininsp
Created: Wed Jan 6 05:53:28 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zpnrd/not_sure_if_this_is_the_right_place_but_i_could/
---
I had an ED my whole life (ok, since I was 6 or 7) and was always underweight. It felt **good** being underweight. I liked myself. I liked my body. I felt sexual and sexy. When I got pregnant with my youngest child, my husband and midwife both sat down with me and convinced me that I needed to eat for my baby. Even if I didn't want to gain weight, the baby needed me to. Ok, I love my baby... so I ate.

So here's the problem. It was like I was given permission to eat whatever I wanted because I was pregnant so I didn't look "fat", I looked "pregnant". I gained 75 pounds while I was pregnant. Then after I was pregnant, I tried to lose the weight right away, except whenever I cut out calories, I wouldn't make any milk. It was important to me to breastfeed my baby. So I kept eating.

Finally I wasn't pregnant **or** breastfeeding. But I was fat. Ugh. So husband agreed that he would lose weight with me, but only if I did it "properly" and I had to eat 3 "real"meals a day. I agreed, because at least I was losing weight. I figured he would stop paying attention after a while and then I could (not) eat whatever I wanted.

No. He watches me like a warden at prison over food. He pushes food on me constantly. Every night he asks if I want a snack and then he will badger me or make me feel guilty until I eat something - even if I have eaten his way all day.

I hate my body. I don't feel sexy. I don't feel sexual - I even told him that is why we do **not** have sex, because my body is disgusting and I can't get in the mood knowing my clothes will come off.

I get it. He is afraid I will "starve myself", and he is keeping me fat on purpose! For the record, I am actually fat, not just "not thin enough". I am 5'2 and 150 lbs. So he has no reason to bully me about eating. I have FIFTY pounds to lose for pete's sake.

I am at my wit's end over it, and I hate the body I have. I feel gross and I just want to be thin again.

Support, tips, tricks, ideas? Thanks.



[Tip] Poor Man's Pizza- 88cal
/u/faebun [5'6 | 137.2lb | 22.1 | 26.8lb | NB]
Created: Wed Jan 6 03:08:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zp7cn/poor_mans_pizza_88cal/
---
Toast one slice of wheat bread. Spread 1tbsp spaghetti sauce on it and top with 1tbsp shredded mozzarella cheese. Microwave for 20 seconds to melt the cheese.

I love this recipe for savory cravings, and it's kind of nostalgic. My mum used to make a fattier version of it all the time.

[Goal] I'm actually feeling good about my future this year and I wanted to share.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 5 23:07:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zoivd/im_actually_feeling_good_about_my_future_this/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] hashtag purging problems
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 201lbs | 36 | -18 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 22:26:44 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zodf9/hashtag_purging_problems/
---
motivation to restrict instsead of binge: if I take 8 bars of Xanax before a binge I can't rationalize wasting that much Xanax or the high. I know we all restrict and purge for our own reasons, but a major one is that restricting is just another *major* high for me. I need to prioritize getting thin over getting high. So glad I found you lovelies. Tell me I'm not alone? haha

[Rant] Plastic Surgery in March.
/u/Sknie
Created: Tue Jan 5 21:09:30 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zo2ih/plastic_surgery_in_march/
---
I'm having plastic surgery to remove excess skin from my thighs, stomach, upper arms and I'm having a breast lift and augmentation after losing around 175lbs. I'm a little nervous, because my health has majorly gone down hill from heavy restricting with some b/p here and there. I'll have to have blood tests done pretty soon to be sure I'm in ok health to be put under and all that. I have to eat a minimum of 120g of protein a day as part of a balanced diet to make sure my scars heal right. I should be at least a couple sizes smaller if not more once the skin is removed according to the surgeon. I know I'll have to eat at a healthier deficit to be okay for surgery and to heal alright afterwards, which makes me really nervous. I feel like I either restrict heavily or I binge. I want to try and eat normal and then go back to restricting once my recovery is over, but every time I try to eat "normal" it doesn't really work out it seems like.

I'm not really sure if I want advice or if I have a question or what. I feel like maybe this isn't very relatable to most people here, but I don't really know who else to talk to about it or what to do. Maybe I should see a nutritionist? Come up with a strict meal plan with less of a deficit? Rationally I know I won't gain weight if I'm at a deficit still, but if I were rational when it came to this, I guess I wouldn't have a disorder. lol.

On a side note. My mom wants me to get DD boobs and my surgeon wants to give me a Kardashian butt. lmao. eeehh. I never thought I'd be in this situation. When I go to my hair dresser I bring her pics of what I want my hair to look like. I want to do that, can you do that with plastic surgeons? I'll print out some thinspo shit. lmao. I don't like male attention that much. I dress feminine, but conservative. I don't want to look like a nicki minaj/dolly parton love child. I want to look sensible and put together, not cartoonish. idk

tl;dr: Worried about diet pre and post surgery + wtf @ people wanting me to get ridiculous-sized boobs and butt.

[Discussion] Body image perception is confusing
/u/__maidenvoyage [65"| 125#| 21.05| -60# | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 20:20:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3znv48/body_image_perception_is_confusing/
---
I last year, I lost 60 lbs between January and July after spending the last 3 years being hella fat (obese actually). Up until around November, I was feeling pretty freaking good looking. I actually thought for a minute there that all my body image issues had gone away because I'm so mature and healthy now. Do you know how amazing it is to look in the mirror and not think you look bad even a little bit? I could wear ANYTHING. I could be naked! I was legit completely satisfied. But then something started changing! I don't know how it happened, but I started feeling like I look fatter and fatter even though my weight is the same, my clothes are the same, and my measurements are the same as they were just a few months ago. Clothes I thought I looked awesome in are now gathering dust because I feel like I look hideously fat in them.

Has this ever happened to you? What is the reason for this phenomenon? Will I be able to get that amazing feeling back again someday? There have been periods of my life where I have been very sick with my ED, but there has never been a period where I have perceived myself as fat where I once saw thin, without any actual change in my weight or measurements. It's confusing.

[Help] Friend who is heading toward an ED
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 20:15:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3znuf0/friend_who_is_heading_toward_an_ed/
---
I'm conflicted about this.
My friend and I both dieted together last year. She gained some weight, and now she wants to go on a fast with me. I don't mind fasting with her, but I feel like I'm encouraging an ED with her.

For one, it's unbelievably nice to have someone there who also wants to lose weight and doesn't mind being unhealthy about it.

On the other hand, I don't want her to get an ED.

What should I do? Should I be discouraging, or should I only encourage healthy weight loss? At the same time, I want her to be with me in this so much, but I can't do that to her.

[Rant] I'm at the end of my rope
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 18:03:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3znaas/im_at_the_end_of_my_rope/
---
I am a complete mess right now, so I apologize if this doesn't make an sense. I just need to let it out.

I am so sick and tired of this life. I just want to be able to eat normally and live my life. But I can't, if I try to eat something that isn't part of my meal plan I go on a big binge. Which I did tonight (mostly on cheese and peanut butter, gross).

I'm hopefully going into recovery soon, so I can get out of this hell hole that is my life. Today I was officially diagnosed with anorexia nervosa and I'm just waiting for a spot to open up, which can take a while. I don't know how much longer I can wait. I'm pretty much constantly on the verge of breakdown. The doctors said I could keep going to class for a few weeks while I wait to be admitted, but I don't think I can even do that. I can barely leave my house to buy cigarettes. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I want to be normal and healthy, but at the same time I want to lose as much weight as possible before going into treatment. But that won't happen if I keep binging like I did today.

I just want to go to sleep forever.

I'm debating whether I should fast this week, because I really need to lose some weight right now.

I'm sorry for this long-winded rant that probably didn't make any sense. I just don't know what to do anymore

[Discussion] A question for those who have achieved an underweight BMI.
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Tue Jan 5 17:25:35 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zn4bf/a_question_for_those_who_have_achieved_an/
---
Hey, so for anyone who is underweight or has been underweight...

Is/was there still some fat left?

I have worked out consistently for the last 10 months and I have achieved a low body fat percentage (17-19% hard to be accurate without going to a clinic) and a low weight.

I still have a little flab left on my lower belly and tricep (underarm) areas. I still have some pinch-able fat on my thighs when I am sitting down and quads aren't flexed.

I weighed in at 106 the last couple of days and I am finally getting close to being underweight. I definitely want to get to my GW of 99 because I don't look much different from 108-110. My UGW is 95.

Have any of you gotten low enough that there wasn't any fat left that you could pinch? Is it a really low BMI? Do you think I can get to my UGW of 95 and be rid of this fat?

Or is it all exercise and muscles? I will continue to work out 4-5 days a week but maybe with more targeted exercises...

[Goal] As of today, I'm finally underweight.
/u/acadavia [5'3| 96.8 | 17.4| F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 17:23:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zn3y0/as_of_today_im_finally_underweight/
---
I'm not "pro-ed" and I feel a huge amount of guilt posting here because I don't want to encourage anyone's eating disorder, but I also don't have anyone else to tell about this.

I'm 5'3 and 24. In high school I had a "pro-ana" blog and I restricted calories and purged frequently, but in spite of that, I never got below 115 (in retrospect, I wasn't careful enough about calorie counting). Then in college I started doing speed, and magically overnight I was 95lbs, and everything was wonderful, aside from the fact that I passed out a lot and smoked a pack a day. After college I stopped taking "study drugs," and on November 1st of 2015, I stepped on a scale and realized I was 115 again, to my complete horror. So, I decided to lose the weight the "right way" this time, by eating 700-900 cal per day. And it worked! As of today, I'm 104! I feel fatter than I did when I was 115, though. I'm skinny fat, but I don't want to work out before I lose more weight because I know it will make me hungrier and I'll gain weight in muscle and be back up to a weight that I'm not comfortable with. I want to keep going and it's frustrating that all of the other weight loss subreddits are full of people a lot larger than I am who eat a lot more than I do and downvote me if I mention any of my numbers. So that's why I'm here, I guess. Thanks for listening to me vent.

My new goal is 100. At 800cal/day, I should be there by Jan. 30.

[Tip] Sweet spin on your apple!
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 131 | 19.3 | -9 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 16:32:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zmvss/sweet_spin_on_your_apple/
---
my favorite snack for when i want something sweet is the following:

1 apple cut into slices

place in bowl

sprinkle with water

cover with cinnamon and splenda(optional)

heat in microwave for 1 - 1 1/2 minutes

SO YUMMY.

[Discussion] best laxative brand?
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Tue Jan 5 15:56:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zmpm8/best_laxative_brand/
---
Hey guys! I want to know if there is a "best brand" of laxative? Or can I just go with the generic stuff?

[Help] Help whilst being monitored by the hospital?
/u/tissueblues [163cm | 48.08kg | 18.2 | -6.35kg | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 15:31:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zmlfb/help_whilst_being_monitored_by_the_hospital/
---
Unfortunately after leaving inpatient care, the outpatient team has been very vigilant of my weight and vitals, making it hard to get away with eating less without being readmitted. Does anyone have any tips around making it look like I weigh more when I go in for a clinic visit?

Things I already do: drink A LOT of water beforehand, and increase sodium intake the day before and the day of for water retention.

They measure my weight while I'm essentially naked except for my underwear and a hospital gown. They do a few brief checks, but I think I could get away with hiding something heavy. Thanks in advance!

[Goal] Same day last year before I fucked myself up. Jan 5, 2015 I was so close...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 5 14:49:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zme43/same_day_last_year_before_i_fucked_myself_up_jan/
---
http://imgur.com/ULoVV1q

[Discussion] Interesting Article on How Athletes "Make Weight" or lose UP TO 30 POUNDS in a week
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 13:56:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zm4x0/interesting_article_on_how_athletes_make_weight/
---
[How To Lose 20-30 Pounds In 5 Days: The Extreme Weight Cutting and Rehydration Secrets of UFC Fighters](http://fourhourworkweek.com/2013/05/06/how-to-cut-weight-ufc/)


So I'm not posting this as a tip or anything like that. I just see a lot about water fasts and water weight on here and I thought this article would be interesting to start up a discussion on that. To summarize the point of the article, UFC fighters "cut weight" or lose up to 30 pounds (usually closer to 10 but you get the point) in the week before a fight. They do this for the weigh in (weigh ins are the day before the fight) and then they rehydrate immediately after and gain a lot of that weight back OVERNIGHT. The idea is that the day of the fight they'll be above their weight class and at an advantage BUT as the article points out, it's possible that cutting weight takes a physical toll on the fighter.


Basically I think this article offers an interesting perspective on how water weight works. You can do something like a water fast, but it's really artificial weight that you'll put back on pretty quickly. I'd love to know what you think about water weight and water fasts.


(also if you've read anything else about water weight that you enjoyed, I'd love to read it.)

Announcement
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 12:42:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zlsa4/announcement/
---
As you may know, my account was involved in some recent reddit drama. To answer some FAQ that my arise from that:

**Why was /r/proED created?**

The same moderator was in charge of all the thinspo subreddits at the time. We had a disagreement about pro-ana/pro-ED culture, and she banned me from her subreddits. Because of that, I created /r/proED and made it blatantly "pro-ED", something that was banned in the thinspo subs. The "feud" between me and the mod ended with her attempting to dox me. The attempt was reported to the admins, and she was banned.

**Were the other mods aware/invovled?**

No, the other mods were not aware nor were they involved.

**Does /r/proED accept BED?**

Yes, we accept those with Binge Eating Disorder. My issue with BED, previously, was that obese people who did not truly have BED were coming into the sub saying that they have BED and asking for diet tricks.

**Who was knyburg/kaylajessica?**

Knyburg was my throwaway account that I used to promote /r/proED and to ask questions that I didn't want associated with this account. I used it as a way to stabalize this subreddit in the beginning, increase its visibility, and draw in new users.

**Why did you stage a suicide for knyburg?**

In that account, I was getting sent dox threats and hate mail. Some of them were new accounts created by the old moderator of the thinspo subreddits. She continued to harass me long after she was banned. I also got nervous that the persona was getting too much attention, and I worried that the information I posted on that account would lead to me. I meant the deletion to be ambiguous to prevent people from looking into it, but most people interpreted it as a suicide.

**Why the confession?**

I realized that I was spending too much time on reddit and not enough time on school. I want to change that.

**Will I be stepping down?**

I will not be stepping down, however, I will likely be spending less time on reddit and on /r/proED.

**How will this effect our subreddit?**

No real changes except the removal of /u/kaylajessica from the mod list.

**Edit:** Thread is unlocked. Post as you wish. You will not be banned for anything you write here unless you blatantly break the rules.


[Discussion] Fasting question? [question]
/u/tealuxe1 [5'11 |181.0 | 23.60 | -7.5 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 12:22:43 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zlowb/fasting_question_question/
---
On vacation and mobile so I can't flair! Tell me if I should take this down and wait until I get home (5 days) but I was hoping to get a quick response!

I'm fasting for the first time, and it's been since Sunday night at midnight, so almost at 40 hours. How long should I aim for for a my first fast? I'm not super hungry (just started on Wellbutrin) but I want to be able to do it again. I've been just having water, tea with a little honey, and broth.

What's the longest fast you've been able to pull off?

Thanks!

[Goal] Worked out for the first time in over a year!!!
/u/Skinnywolf9 [5'4" |130.4 | 22.82| -4| F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 11:33:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zlger/worked_out_for_the_first_time_in_over_a_year/
---
After a long road dealing with a hip issue, it is finally fixed. And today, after stopping all exercise (and honestly, normal movement) since October of 2014...I was able to get back on the elliptical.

I'm in tears. I am so happy. ED aside, I am finally getting my life back. I rode the elliptical for a full hour and finally have that feeling of pure sweaty exhaustion back. I love it. After months of binging and being depressed...this is finally getting me back to myself and I finally have that in-control feeling back. Look out old body, here I come!!

Now if you excuse me, I have some skinny tea, Bronkaid, and boom-chica-pop to go buy. AFTER a shower, of course :)

[Discussion] That happy little restricting feel when...
/u/electille [5'7 | 123 | 19.2 | ?]
Created: Tue Jan 5 10:54:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zl9up/that_happy_little_restricting_feel_when/
---
I've just gotten really back into restricting, and already it's so much better than I remember. I'm gonna start a list of things I like about restricting other than losing weight, feel free to join in!

ā€¢ feeling not 100% here and kind of like I'm drunk after doing a hard workout

ā€¢ substances impact me way more when restricting (caffeine, alcohol)

ā€¢ tastes are so much stronger when I do eat

ā€¢ i personally feel happier and more relaxed

ā€¢ generally just chill out

ā€¢ i can push harder in a strength workout because i feel lighter than air and i don't feel the pain in my muscles as much

ā€¢ that lovely drifty feeling

[Help] Could you guys help me out real quick? :s
/u/nicknickedone [160 cm | 53.5 kg | 20.9 | -16.5 kg]
Created: Tue Jan 5 10:49:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zl90k/could_you_guys_help_me_out_real_quick_s/
---
My mother wants me to eat more nuts so she gave me a huge amount of them I *have* to eat and I can't dispose them either as she would probably still smell them (or my breath) as she has a way too good sense of smell. Anyway I can't weigh them as I'm in my room. Anyway to my point, could any of you at least try to help me eyeball the amount of calories from [this](http://i.imgur.com/TOYgvLv.jpg) shitty webcam pic. :( So I can at least make up for the calories later, I never eat nuts and have completely no idea. It's a trail mix with about 632 kcal per 100g and some pistachios, under the top layer visible in the pic there is one layer of just the trail mix.

Thanks :s

[Help] TMI awkward problem
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 10:48:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zl8u5/tmi_awkward_problem/
---
When I restrict, I get hemorrhoids on top of constipation, and they bleed. It's horrifying. Is this common in EDs, or is it just me?

What do you do for hemorrhoids? My solution was to eat less so that I wouldn't have to BM as much.

[Discussion] [Discussion] On using trigger warnings
/u/Frankensteingirls
Created: Tue Jan 5 10:36:03 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zl6sw/discussion_on_using_trigger_warnings/
---
So it seems like suddenly these are being used a *lot* (Not that I've been on this subreddit long, so perhaps they were before and were just at a lull when I showed up).

I feel like maybe we should decide on whether to use them or not and, if so, for what, so that their use or lack thereof is consistent because the point of a trigger warning is to let you know what to expect and make an informed choice about viewing it or not. What do you think?

I don't have a particularly strong opinion either way. Maybe we shouldn't have them for purely ED-related things as this *is* a pro-ED subreddit? I can understand why someone might want them for self harm or sexual assault, those kinds of things. I don't know, what do you think, proED?

[Goal] Comin on back (TWTWTWTWTWTW!!!!)
/u/electille [5'7 | 123 | 19.2 | ?]
Created: Tue Jan 5 10:02:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zl15j/comin_on_back_twtwtwtwtwtw/
---
Heya!

I used this sub a couple months back, before I tried "recovery" (it wasn't a real recovery) but I'm relapsed and better (""""better""") than ever, new and improved!

Except not.

Thanks to recovery, I'm now 123 lbs. My goal is to be under 100 by March, as well as keeping a relatively high level of fitness and strength (i still wanna be able to punch and kick the shit outta people, after all). I'm relapsing because 1) I feel fat, duh, 2) I don't want my tits back, and I never was going to anyways, and 3) idk man i just am

My goals/rules:
1. 600 or under, that's what a website told me it would take to get under 100 (called losertown or something? I forgot), but I'll probably manage much less on good days.
2. Drink like 4 litres of water/coffee/tea a day, buddo
3. Quit that Pepsi Max/Diet Coke shit, it's still soda
4. Exercise 6-7 times a week, y'all, gotta keep as much of that muscle as possible (I can squat like a mofo and do like 35 straight pushups aaaaaa I'm constantly excited about pushups and arm workouts and my shoulders and biceps wew lad)
5. Go vegetarian - I'd say vegan but I enjoy mah fat free cottage cheese too much #yolo

So yeah! I'll be updating my flair when I'm on a computer, thanks for readin if ya did! If not, oh well this was mostly for me lel

[Rant] [TW] Restricting food an water and purging whatever I drink
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Tue Jan 5 09:33:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zkwbz/tw_restricting_food_an_water_and_purging_whatever/
---
How bad is this. I'm kind of hoping I'll collapse or something and be forced to get help cause I can't do it voluntarily.

[Discussion] Does anyone binge when they exercise?
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 09:12:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zkst7/does_anyone_binge_when_they_exercise/
---
This may sound like fat logic but if I exercise, I binge. I end up taking in more calories than if I don't exercise and don't binge. Do you think it is necessary to exercise? I heard that it matters more what you eat.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 05, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Jan 5 09:02:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zkr0h/daily_food_diary_january_05_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 05, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] How does everyone feel about the recent "revelations" that proED is a troll reddit meant to take over/troll /r/thinspo and the like?
/u/barrelofbees
Created: Tue Jan 5 07:22:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zkc5o/how_does_everyone_feel_about_the_recent/
---
[removed]

[Rant] So confused about people's comments.....
/u/amidala12
Created: Tue Jan 5 06:51:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zk7ue/so_confused_about_peoples_comments/
---
Everything relating to my ED has been so confusing lately.....if I eat I feel like I'm overcoming and failing at the same time......it's even worse when other people notice. I've gotten a few comments people classifying me as thin and it makes me proud but at the same time terrified that people are noticing....the other day my boyfriend put his hand on my ribs and said I was getting really thin.....at first I smiled, then went full on panic mode that he knew and was getting concerned and would try and stop me.....I just want to one day be magically tiny then show myself to the world and tell everyone I'm here, I made it, you couldn't stop me and I'm beautiful now

[Rant] I'm growing tired... [TriggerWarning]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Jan 5 00:44:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zj5iq/im_growing_tired_triggerwarning/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Fitbits and alternatives.
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Tue Jan 5 00:11:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zj1pi/fitbits_and_alternatives/
---
I really want a fitbit but it's just a little too expensive for me right now. Are there any alternatives out there that are cheaper? If not, maybe even an app or something I could use?

[Rant] I'm so mad and hopeless
/u/B0sm3r
Created: Tue Jan 5 00:10:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zj1mv/im_so_mad_and_hopeless/
---
I've always been a binge eater, but I've been trying to restrict better for years.

In November, I purged for the first time.

It sucked me in. Soon I was doing it all the time, it's addicting, huh? I thought I could get away with eating normal amounts because of it, but nope, that was definitely not the truth.

I'd gotten my waist size down to 29. That's the lowest it's been in years, I was so proud.

Today, I measured my waist. 31.

31 inches.

All my progress--yea, not much--gone. I wasted it all, eating food I wasn't even going to keep down.

I'm done being fat and stupid. I'm *done*. This time for good. I always say it but I'm not letting myself fall again.

I'm going to get thin if it kills me, but *no more purging*. It scares my boyfriend and doesn't help me worth a crap.

Sorry, I just really needed to rant about this.

Please don't purge. It's addictive, terrible, and it just makes you bloated and fat.

[Discussion] 2 days binge free
/u/jrste310 [5 ft | 119 lb | 24.58 | -8.5| Female]
Created: Tue Jan 5 00:00:04 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zj0hd/2_days_binge_free/
---
restricted like crazy for a year- moved- habits changed but was stayng thing than randomly gained weight/ got really sick.
put on meds & diagnosed with a thyroid condition but the weight thing fucked with me and binged for a solid six months. gained 20 lbs (im gross i know)

well couting cals again and 2 days binge free and was STUFFED after half a salad (chopped, lettuce, cucumber, chicken (less than 3 oz) and tomatoe )

OMG IT FEELS SO GOOD. sorry ! anways been here for a min lurking with a few diff usernames but im doing this forreal now

[Discussion] How many calories do you try to eat per day?
/u/frztl [5'11" | 162 | 22.6 | -? | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 22:12:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zinxn/how_many_calories_do_you_try_to_eat_per_day/
---
I personally can't seem to stick to 500. I seem to fluctuate between 400 and 800 and then the occasional horrible binge followed by a fast.

[Rant] "You're so lucky!"
/u/pinkaloe [5'9 |125 | 18.13 | -35 F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 21:56:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zilu2/youre_so_lucky/
---
Hi, lurker here, and new reddit poster. ~~Am I doing this right?~~ I just have a rant that I need to get out.

To give a little background, I have a close friend who has been borderline obese pretty much all her life. We've both been wanting to lose weight for years; even going so far as to make a pact to exercise together twice a week last year (which eventually fell apart). I've noticed that she has a tendency to grab greasy, fatty foods. She doesn't exercise at all, and blames her weight on how 'slow' her metabolism is. (It totally has nothing to do with the fact that eating a large blizzard and a big mac is considered a 'good day' by her standards) The last 6 months though, I've been consistently losing weight, where she recently gained back 10 lbs she had lost. (To be fair, the holidays are a hard time to keep up dieting).

She knows that I been ultra-controlling about the kinds of food that I eat, and that I exercise on a regular basis, but she doesn't quite realize how much I restrict my calories.

Anyways, fast forward to today.

We met up between classes as usual, and the topic of conversation somehow switched to my weight. She made a comment on how thin I was compared to her, where I quickly thanked her and was about to change the subject when-

"You're so lucky!"

It's such an innocent remark in itself, but it just angers me to no end. Simply reducing all the effort and countless hours obsessing over calories to pure luck is just insulting! I know it's unreasonable, but to hear that coming from somebody who has put little thought into the kinds of things they put into their mouth ruffles my feathers. I tried to point her in the right direction by mentioning the importance of diet and exercise, but she just repeated, "You're so lucky!" ...Does she not realize that she could lose weight too?!?

What about you guys? I'm sure y'all have encountered similar people, and I'm curious to know how you've handled them.

TL;DR:
Overweight and lazy friend told me "You're so lucky!" in reference to my recent weight loss. Say that to my stair-stepper lol.

[Discussion] I'm posting this to stop the pre-binge behavior I'm currently engaging in.
/u/Sknie
Created: Mon Jan 4 21:20:47 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zih4o/im_posting_this_to_stop_the_prebinge_behavior_im/
---
Do you have pre-binge behaviors or thoughts?

I keep wandering back to the kitchen to look and see what's in the fridge and cupboards.

It doesn't matter what's in there, because I'm not going to eat it.

I also keep thinking "Maybe I could eat a little bit more today."

Nah tho. I'm good.

Was looking up haircut ideas on Google. Not sure who she is but WOW her collarbones are beautiful.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 4 20:08:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zi72z/was_looking_up_haircut_ideas_on_google_not_sure/
---
http://imgur.com/AZZz4BS

[Discussion] New Journey begins with lurking
/u/MyYouMogwai
Created: Mon Jan 4 19:43:27 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zi3g1/new_journey_begins_with_lurking/
---
[removed]

We just need to know. Klairvoyant so you even care about us? I can understand if you want to troll other subreddits. Frankly I don't care but please tell us you aren't just doing this as a joke.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 4 19:17:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zhzhm/we_just_need_to_know_klairvoyant_so_you_even_care/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/3zg3lj/18yearold_troll_admits_to_being_responsible_for/

[Discussion] Ephendrine- what now?
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | CW 118 ; 18.5 | GW 111 ; 17.4 | f]
Created: Mon Jan 4 18:04:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zhow4/ephendrine_what_now/
---
Hey people ! Been absent for ever because of school, but I'm back at my university now and free from the HORRIFIC CHRISTMAS CONSUMPTION that I managed to avoid only like 60% of the time. Sigh. I'm sure we are all feeling this...
anyway, now that I'm free from people force feeding me carbs and fat and sugar, I nipped to the (Canadian) GNC to buy ephedrine - $15 for two packs, (not he limit of 4 as they were sold out..) and its already do I something as my sinuses are 'eased'. I took this for weight loss - for maximum performance, how many should I take a day? It says 4 a day for an adult with the actual sinus problems, but I'm just looking for general information regarding this product as well !
Edit: love the new blue coloration theme. That's actually so sleek

[Thinspo] Black and White Album
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 17:54:36 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zhngt/black_and_white_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/UFJBL

[Discussion] ~equipment~
/u/bloodyunderwear [5'4" | 112 | 19.22 | -5 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 17:50:15 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zhmu8/equipment/
---
I need a new scale, what would you guys recommend? What other things do you use daily? xxx

[Discussion] What's something hurtful someone said to you (ed related) that you still remember?
/u/the-silencing [5'5.5 | 131 | 21.39 | -2lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 17:03:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zhfm1/whats_something_hurtful_someone_said_to_you_ed/
---
Could be a triggering thing, could be anything, just something you remember.

One of the worst sticks out very clearly in my head.


I hadn't eaten in a couple days and was really weak, was out in a public place on a shoot working and a member of the public comes up to me just as i'm about to start eating a simple sandwich, which i had been working myself up to eating for ages. This man is about 50-something, heavily overweight and disgusting. He comes up to my face and literally shouts "**You better put that down darlin' or you'll get fat and nobody likes a fat girl, watch what you're eating."**

I had never met this guy before in my life, i was working, minding my own business, and i was on the low side of average weight at that point. I was furious and shouted at him to mind his own business, but after he walked away I threw away the sandwich. I don't understand how people (especially men) just think it's appropriate to make comments on women all the time like that. He had no idea who i was or how it would affect me. I would never do that to anyone. :(


[Rant] Angry rant to myself.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 15:44:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zh3jg/angry_rant_to_myself/
---
Hey, remember that time 3 weeks ago when you weren't hungry all day long and your stomach was so fucking shrunken you could barely eat half a pack of Top Ramen? And you were so proud of yourself; you were on top of the world. You were better than everyone else. And now you're here. This is what happens when you allow that voice in your head to convince you that it's only a *little* bit and the calories are probably negligible anyway. And oops, you fucked up today- but it's okay because you can try again *tomorrow*. Do you like feeling hungry? Do you *like* going through the process of having to shrink your stomach capacity again? This is what you get. This is exactly what you deserve because you got cocky and arrogant about how great you were doing. Don't get comfortable- that's when you make room for error and poor judgment. Now get the fuck up and dust yourself off because you have work to do.

[Goal] Need to brag and be super self-centered for a minute!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 4 15:22:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zh05t/need_to_brag_and_be_super_selfcentered_for_a/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I was just starting to like her too...
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 15:00:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zgwmo/i_was_just_starting_to_like_her_too/
---
I recently made one of my goals for the new year to reconnect with family and friends since when I "grew up", I ran away from home so to speak to a place none of them would want to ever follow me to. I did that on purpose, much as I love them... they trigger the hell out of me, in both ways. The women in my family are all disordered in some way or another, so it's a constant battle of support but not too much support because I don't want you smaller than me... followed by passive aggressive comments that have you running for the peanut butter jar in tears.

ANYWAY... I've felt pretty good about reconnecting, SLOWLY, and on my terms with them. Email, group texts, what have you... My youngest sibling just got engaged. Up until now, I've kinda avoided his SO just because they've had this on-off relationship for years and I figured "snowballs chance in hell"... Looks like I need to get Satan a coat as a late Christmas present... but I digress. She's in the group texts and emails, so she now has my info too, hasn't been an issue. Most of what she sends, I dig. Girl power, love and peace, environmental issues (my family is all up in Oregon, so this is pretty much everyday life stuff). She **seemed** like someone I'd get along with.

Until.

I sent some pictures of myself for other family who were "dying" to see me. I don't text crazy things about my personal weight, races I'm running or biking, day to day exercise, none of that. I didn't put the pictures there and go "LOOK AT ME, I'M HOT AND THIN UNLIKE SOMEONE HERE LOLOLOLOL!" I *have* mentioned healthy recipes but *only when asked* ("Twosi, if you're sugar free, how can you have marshmallows?" "Well, I make my own, blah blah blah"). Mostly, I keep quiet. I guess I've pissed her off somehow? My alerts just started going crazy. She texted to say I should come and visit so she can actually hold me down and get some food in me so I don't disappear (I'm NOT tiny... wtf?) She's texted a picture of a Snickers Bar and said "Twosi, have a Snickers! You get anorexic when you're hungry, LOL." And just now, she group texted this article with *my name specifically highlighted:* http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/03/opinion/our-imaginary-weight-problem.html I'm mind blown! I'm also sick and bingey at the moment and my ability to not say something I'll regret forever is coming to a dangerous breaking point.

What the hell is the deal? I could understand if I had attacked her. She's a bit on the heavy side, but honestly... I'm too concerned with ME to worry about HER. If she wants to scarf down pizza, let her do her thing I say. Happy is as happy does. As I said though, since my family is FULL of women that are all either hiding from food, hiding the fact that they've eaten food, or are trying to hide all the food they just threw up or threw away... somehow, ME, almost a thousand miles away and seven years her senior, have gotten her attention and made her into a sneaky faux family bully? Um... What am I missing here?

The only thing I can guess is that because I've been out of contact with my family for so long, they're going a bit overboard with attention and praise (something that was in extremely limited supply growing up, so it's been interesting for sure!) and she's jealous somehow and thinks I'm stealing the limelight from her and my brother? The last my brother said, they aren't even planning a wedding, just a court house thing and maybe a party in the summer time, so I'm not overshadowing "bride time" either!

I'm bummed, honestly.

Chicky, please... I don't have time for your needy, "clever", remarks, I have a Snickers Bar to not eat.

[Help] Post-inpatient Update
/u/incerta [5'4"| 99 | 17 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 14:46:26 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zguev/postinpatient_update/
---
Sorry for all these, I know no one cares.

So I was discharged from inpatient a few weeks ago at around 82% of my """"ideal"""" body weight. Aka: still fat. Thankfully, I am currently on antidepressants so I don't entirely want to kill myself (yet). Now that inpatient is over, I'm doing the outpatient day program. Tbh, the only reason I was willing to do it was so that I could still see all my friends. We still have to eat a LOT in this program, and I fucking hate it. They want me to get up to 90% of the ideal body weight. Um no, NO. That's only a few pounds away from my highest fucking weight.

I'm really done with being this fat. I'm so scared I'm going to keep gaining and gaining. I NEED to lose weight, but I'm worried about what will happen if I don't complete meals at program.

Also my period came back which is making feel like even more of a fucking fat whale. It's like I'm officially not thin any more. I feel like a failure.

[Help] Nausea, fatigue, and tiredness after eating?
/u/LESBIAN_PRINCESS
Created: Mon Jan 4 13:44:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zgkh7/nausea_fatigue_and_tiredness_after_eating/
---
I am having issues with getting sick and dizzy after eating. I have been making an effort at eating healthy again, but I slip up more than I should. But lately I have been having to lay down after I eat because I get sick, shakey, lightheaded, racing heart, and tired. Both yesterday and today I've had to lay down and sleep. I used to feel this way when I used to restrict heavily, but I haven't been restricting very much lately. Does anyone know what's going on or how to help it?

Edit: Since I don't have my stats

Low body fat (think around minimal healthy)

Toned

Healthy BMI (high 19?)

[Thinspo] Which one do you choose?
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 13:43:48 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zgkcj/which_one_do_you_choose/
---
http://i.imgur.com/s4BjulA.jpg

[Tip] Snack foods to satisfy your cravings (less than 100 calories)
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 13:27:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zghpn/snack_foods_to_satisfy_your_cravings_less_than/
---
Hey lovelies!

Here are some snack foods to satisfy your cravings with minimum calories, feel free to add more on the comments :)


Sweet tooth:


1/2 small banana, frozen (45 calories)


2 sugar-free ice pops (30 calories)


12 cherries (48 calories)


1 individual serving sugar-free gelatine (40 calories)


Salt craving:


1 1/2 cups salted air-popped popcorn (46 calories)


1 pretzel rod (37 calories)


Solid standbys:


1/2 cup melon (47 calories)


1/2 small grapefruit (32 calories)


1/3 cup blueberries (47 calories)


1/2 cup carrots (45 calories)




[Discussion] Weekly calorie goals
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 12:26:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zg83c/weekly_calorie_goals/
---
I'm just wondering, for those of you here that try to break things up over the course of a week rather than a daily goal, what are your weekly limits? If you're excising during the week, how many days a week, how many minutes/hours/etc and how does this (if it does at all) effect your calorie limits overall during the week?

This past week I went with 1700 as the total goal for the week (trying to slowly but surely make up for all the face plants of last month) however, yesterday a cold decided to hit me full force so I went ahead and upped my calories to try and combat it head on. (The sooner better, the sooner I can get back to what I want.) One of those days was a fast day, but my "highest days" were hitting 400 calories total. I was also taking multi's to try and ward off any kinds of last minute illnesses... that went well lol.

Working out vs. restricting...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 4 12:03:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zg4e1/working_out_vs_restricting/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Working out vs. restricting...
/u/throwawaytodayokc [5'4.25" |101.2|17.3|-15 since joining|GW 95| F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 12:02:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zg46p/working_out_vs_restricting/
---
I've been restricting pretty well, but I am not feeling good at all. But it results in weight loss, and I'd like to keep that going. I'm trying to decide if I want to work out...but I don't want to eat more. I am already feeling lightheaded, nauseous most of the time, etc. I want to keep losing, but also want to build muscle, lose fat, etc. I just...don't want to eat more than 650 calories a day.


Any ideas, tips, etc?

[Discussion] Does anyone else obsessively look at food/recipes online?
/u/wannabeamermaid [5'3 | 112 | 20.4 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 11:04:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zfulw/does_anyone_else_obsessively_look_at_foodrecipes/
---
I must spend at least an hour a day looking up recipes for delicious food online that I never make. Sometimes if it's a low calorie recipe I might make a variation of it (because I'm an awful cook haha). Idk I just love looking at dessert recipes especially and think about making them, but I very rarely do which I guess is good. But I think this helps me not eat because I get to "eat" vicariously through looking at the good food...

[Help] Laxatives not working?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 10:15:41 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zfmue/laxatives_not_working/
---
So this is pretty tmi, but I haven't had a bowel movement since Christmas. So I figured I would take some laxatives to get things moving. I took 2 ex lax last night before going to bed (about 12 hours ago), and I'm still not having a bm. I took 2 more just now. I have never taken laxatives before and I've been drinking plenty of water. I really want to poop today because I'm getting weighed tomorrow and I don't want 10 days of poop affecting my weight. Any advice?

[Thinspo] Kristine UllebĆø
/u/fire-child [5'7" | 117 | 18.3 | f]
Created: Mon Jan 4 10:11:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zfm6r/kristine_ullebĆø/
---
http://imgur.com/a/PGzsl

[Help] Binging and purging and losing weight.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 4 09:08:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zfcum/binging_and_purging_and_losing_weight/
---
I have been binging and purging for several years now and my weight has fluctuated between 40 kg-59 kgs during that time. So even if I binge and purge my weight can go quite low(where I wish to be again sooner or later).

However, even if binging doesn't make me gain that much weight I'd like to stop.It is, after all, quite dangerous and it costs a lot of money. This far the only way for me to stop binging and purging is eating a LOT, about 2000 kcals per day and even then I'm not 100% successful. But I don't want to eat that much, I want to lose weight.And like I said, even eating like a pig doesn't work that well so there's really no point in eating that much. Should I just try to be more disclipined or do you have any suggestions how I should address this problem?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 4 09:02:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zfc0c/daily_food_diary_january_04_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 04, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Anyone else Low-Carb? What do you eat?
/u/BacktoNormalcy [5'4 | LW: 98 CW: 160 | 27.5 | -34 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 06:36:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zesjq/anyone_else_lowcarb_what_do_you_eat/
---
Hi, I'm new here. I was diagnosed with anorexia in the past, but developed BED and gained almost 100 pounds (98 to 194 eventually). I feel like I can't sustain normal eating, and being too skinny feels a hell of a lot better than being too fat, so anorexia it is. Binge-free for 4 months now, weight dropping fast. I attribute this a lot to starting a strict low-carb diet. My binging was often triggered by weight fluctuations that upset me, and my weight doesn't fluctuate so much on low-carb. Plus, I feel fuller on less food.

BUT, as my weight is getting back to normal, I know I need to restrict more, calorie-wise. None of these fat bombs or other shit that keto people eat. What do you low-carbers eat to keep your calories low? Right now my staples are cauliflower and smoked salmon. I would be happy to eat nothing else for the rest of eternity but I need to add some variety so my BF doesn't get suspicious.

Thanks!

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! January 04, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Jan 4 05:03:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zeizd/weekly_stats_update_january_04_2016/
---
This is the weekly status thread for January 04, 2016.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Rant] Does it irritate you when you see fattening food on social media?
/u/FandomsGalore92 [6'1" | 140.9| 17.75| -19.1 | MtF]
Created: Mon Jan 4 04:26:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zefbl/does_it_irritate_you_when_you_see_fattening_food/
---
So for me whenever I see someone post food on social media whether it be Facebook Twitter what the hell ever it may be it always seems to get under my skin cause it's the last thing I want to see and it never fails to make me hungry and want to eat. What are your feelings towards this?

[Tip] Guess the calories (soup only, decided against the cottage cheese)!
/u/electille [5'7 | 123 | 19.2 | ?]
Created: Mon Jan 4 03:33:53 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zeah5/guess_the_calories_soup_only_decided_against_the/
---
http://imgur.com/jlu7ZEj

[Discussion] Choosing to go without a scale for a short time?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 02:19:56 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ze3ma/choosing_to_go_without_a_scale_for_a_short_time/
---
I do love to weigh myself several times a day. Even once a day is fine, but the fluctuations are so stressful. I know it's water, food, waste, time of day, etc. But I feel like I have to punish myself if the number goes up and are too tempted to [irrationally] reward myself with a new low.

I was debating not weighing myself until the end of the month. I'll still do everything as normal and I know I can keep myself on track without the number.

I was just curious if anyone has done this, intentional or not, and how it worked out.

[Help] My heart hurts. Am I going to die??
/u/guy_sidekick
Created: Mon Jan 4 00:50:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zdvit/my_heart_hurts_am_i_going_to_die/
---
I'm 5'5 and last month I weighed around 100 lbs. Since then I've restricted a lot for a few weeks and have seen significant weight loss in the mirror. I haven't weighed myself again yet but I must be around 90-95 lbs right now.

But the thing is, today after I woke up my heart hurt. I got a series of sharp pain in my heart at irregular intervals. It scared me so I gulped down a glass of fresh milk and I guess it kinda helped since the pain seems to have dulled by now...

Am I going to die? Is this dangerous?

[Help] Im a fucked up person.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Jan 4 00:41:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zdul7/im_a_fucked_up_person/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Just a bit of a rant.
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|142.6 lbs|22.7|-11.2 lbs|F]
Created: Mon Jan 4 00:40:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zdui3/just_a_bit_of_a_rant/
---
I realize that through out my life, I've dealt with so many shitty people that it eventually becomes so hard to talk to people or be able to connect on that kind of level.

I feel like an outsider a lot of the times. As if I do not have a place in this world, or society. And sometimes I question whether or not it's really worth participating in. I mean in the end, it really does not matter. We all meet the same fate, and when we do we become nothing more than a distant memory. But anywho, it just sucks. Sometimes I feel like I'm going through the motions.

I so desperately want to speak out about how I feel. But when I do, it's met with blank stares or silence. Gaining experience from this, sometimes I find it better to not even bother talking to people how I feel. Usually people come to me and talk and talk about how they're feeling and who they're feeling. I just sit there. I nod. I respond. I help.

But at the end of the day. I'm so exhausted. Exhausted of myself. Exhausted of all the inner turmoil. Exhausted of all the broken rules. Exhausted of all the failure.

But I can't give up just yet. I have to keep up the front. Day in and day out. No ways of release. I quit self-injury. Too obvious. Purging is a great release, but it gets me nowhere. Restriction makes me feel like shit, but I reach my goals. Exercise offers momentarily release.

But then I'm back at square one. Miserable and alone.

Kinda sucks ass.

[Discussion] Buying EC stack?
/u/kilyia
Created: Sun Jan 3 23:55:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zdq6r/buying_ec_stack/
---
Hi,

I am seeing a lot of conflicting information on the internet about the availability of Bronkaid and/or Primatene. If these are no longer legal, what is a good readily available alternative?

Edit: Thank you so much! I live in Virginia. I have just been googling "Virginia Ephedrine illegal?" and getting super conflicting information. Also Bronkaid is like 70 bucks online which made me think it was probably also no longer sold in pharmacies.

[Discussion] Bikini Bridge trend is said to have been made famous on 4chan as a prank against feminists
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 3 23:13:22 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zdli4/bikini_bridge_trend_is_said_to_have_been_made/
---
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/675/142/406.png

[Rant] Wish I had an in-person friend who I could talk to about this stuff
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 124lbs | 19.37 | -41lbs| F]
Created: Sun Jan 3 23:04:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zdkig/wish_i_had_an_inperson_friend_who_i_could_talk_to/
---
As I experiment with weight loss aids (EC stack), buy a scale again after a year of not owning one, generally seek to restrict and fast, I wish there was someone I could share this part of my life with. My boyfriend is very good with letting me do me but he just I just can't talk with him about some of this stuff, because he'd at best not relate and at worst get worried/seek me to stop. I just wish I had a close girlfriend who also cared about being skinny, about fashion, about things that I have no outlet but anonymous internet forums where nobody even remembers who I am from post to post.

[Rant] why do i do this
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 3 22:28:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zdg8e/why_do_i_do_this/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Help me. I feel panicked and scared. what do I do?
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Sun Jan 3 22:02:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zdd82/help_me_i_feel_panicked_and_scared_what_do_i_do/
---
To start this off I wasn't sure how to flair this so i went with my first guess which is "Help" but maybe rant would have been suitable. Forgive me mods if i chose wrong for my flair. I feel kind of emotionally overwhelmed at that moment.

I live with my parents and my younger brother has been in town from college since Xmas staying with us. My parents are some of my biggest triggers and my brother triggers me a lot even when he isn't around because he has always been skinnier than me. He is younger but was also more of an athlete when we were growing up. He is 19 and have a six pack and skinny legs I would die for. My parents are both obese or at least significantly overweight something I hope never happens to me. I am vegetarian and haven't eaten meat in years so I am convinced I never will end up like them if i don't eat meet or like them. They eat when they are bored and often junk food (though to his credit my dad is attempted to lose weight.) Sorry for the long preface but I wanted to contextualize this situation I am in.

I have been restricting heavily for the last three days. Since Friday. I haven't eaten because I feel like if i do i will go into a binge frenzy and undo all the progress I have done. I lost a couple pounds after a few days and I am not sure if it is significant loss or if it is going to come back when I start eating again. I could just be dehydrated or not have food in my stomach. I feel anxious being around my family and watching them eat but mentally I am craving food. especially the cheese pizza that my dad and brother made earlier. I know I shouldn't but i did saved it rather than throwing it away like i also thought of doing.

How do i go back to eating. I miss food but I don't have control. I don't want to binge. I need to talk to someone. would anyone be opposed to texting a stranger. I am not on this sub a lot but i feel scared and panicked as the post says.

How do i eat again? Eventually I will need to eat again and don't know how to "re-feed" myself or eat small meals or snacks without craving more. I am scared to talk to my therapist because I am supposed to be helping myself but I want to lose this weight then just maintain it once i am there...

Please help me...I feel a binge is eminent and I don't want to do it. I don't want my mind or body to get the best of me...

Yours,
-P

[Discussion] Flat Tummy Tea?
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 155 | 24.2 | -30 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 3 20:39:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zd2c8/flat_tummy_tea/
---
Have any of you tried Flat Tummy Tea? I've heard super good things about it, but it's kind of expensive. I need to know if it's actually worth the money first.

[Discussion] Liquid diet tips
/u/Patchthebrokenbones
Created: Sun Jan 3 19:34:52 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zctr6/liquid_diet_tips/
---
Hello!
I've gained a load of weight this past year (I went from 90lbs to 118lbs) and I'm planning on starting an all liquid diet tomorrow (monday) to next Monday.

I went out and got bullion cubes and a cute new water bottle. Any tips on how to avoid temptation? I have gum/water and I knit and crochet to keep my hands busy. Is there anything else I can do?

Thanks! Good luck!

[Discussion] What is your field of study? Do you think it contributes to your disorder?
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 3 18:51:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zcnvf/what_is_your_field_of_study_do_you_think_it/
---
I've been mulling this over for a while. I've always had an obsession with anatomy, specifically muscular and skeletal systems. I'm currently studying for kinesiology/pre-physical therapy. The more I learn about anatomy, the more I want to see it reflected in myself. I want to see muscle definition. I want to see bones that protrude.
I don't think my disorder centers around a repulsion/obsession with food. I think it centers around an obsession with anatomy.

[Thinspo] Thinspo for 2016
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 3 18:30:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zckqv/thinspo_for_2016/
---
http://i.4cdn.org/b/1451860708289.webm

[Discussion] I'm getting used to it!
/u/chicklet2011 [5'6" | 152# | 26% | -38# | F]
Created: Sun Jan 3 15:47:33 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zbwt9/im_getting_used_to_it/
---
I've been dialing back my calories bit by bit. Today I think I'll be able to stay under 1000, and I don't even feel hungry? I can feel that my stomach is empty, but I'm not inclined to eat.

I don't think I really want to dip much below 1000, but it feels good to know that I can do it.

Does anybody else feel really proud when their stomach feels empty?

[Discussion] RestoraLAX (MiraLAX)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 3 14:53:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zboow/restoralax_miralax/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Any ED "ticks?"
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sun Jan 3 14:36:17 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zbm4i/any_ed_ticks/
---
Just wondering if anyone else has weird little things they do that coincides with their ED. I for one am always touching myself (hur hur) to make sure there aren't any bad changes. Whether it's "measuring" my arms and legs with my hands to make sure I can still wrap them around, or touching my hip or collarbones to make sure I can still feel them. Most of the time I do it absentmindedly and it makes me wonder if people notice.

[Rant] back to it
/u/ohwaitiforgot [170cm | 49.7kg| 17.6| TransF]
Created: Sun Jan 3 13:00:39 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zb79b/back_to_it/
---
Family is gone. Leftovers packed away in freezer. Back to fasting.

Put on my huge dinner for the family. A huge spread laid out. I stayed in the kitchen cooking my ass off and avoiding idle chit-chat and small-talk inevitably leading to my "black sheep" family status.

I ate the requisite food and drank my fill of wine. Not one person mentioned my weight, which is great. I worried my GW might make me sickly but is apparently within the bounds of appearing normal. This gives me renewed focus to reach my UGW.

Today is my last meal for a while. Back to fasting. Tired of feeling bloated. Going on a week long fast with the resolve to just feel better - no weighing involved, for a whole week. Hopefully this will help me get more in tune with my body instead of the scale.

I'll check back in on the weekly status update sticky

[Help] Restricting and metabolic issues?
/u/yakeiram
Created: Sun Jan 3 11:34:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zau7w/restricting_and_metabolic_issues/
---
Hi so I'm kind of new to all this, especially restricting. I've been on and off with purging for years but never counted calories consistently until now. As my new years resolution I want to stick to a specific calorie budget every day, but I'm afraid of going too low because of horror stories I've heard of messing up your metabolism so bad that if you ever start eating more again your body thinks you're starving and gains like crazy. How many calories do you guys eat per day, and what would you recommend to lose but still not slow down my metabolism (at least not too much?)

[Thinspo] My current thinspo favourites
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 3 10:35:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zalbx/my_current_thinspo_favourites/
---
http://imgur.com/a/e2KGr

The Great Binge Free Leaderboard - Dec 27, 2015 through Jan 2, 2016
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 116.6 | 19.63 | -39.4 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 3 10:10:40 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3zahpb/the_great_binge_free_leaderboard_dec_27_2015/
---
Here's The Great Binge Free Leaderboard, in order of most days binge free to least days binge free. If you want to join, please do! The link is on the sidebar. Just add your name to the list. If you had to start over after binging this week, try to outdo yourself by beating your "high score" in the Best column! Please message me with any corrections or updates in case you forgot or did not have time to update your row! :)

**23 days** | /u/skinnywishlist

**19 days** | /u/brileybreid

**15 days** | /u/onepostforme

**10 days** | /u/ohwaitiforgot

**8 days** | /u/Nicole96

**7 days** | /u/esiwirartnoC, /u/HeartshapesANDninjas

**6 days** | /u/InTheGecko, /u/MrFattyPants, /u/Sknie, /u/sunshinechild

**5 days** | /u/goldberrydarling, /u/Kapattak, /u/Klairvoyant, /u/sanguinesmiles, /u/spaghetti_enthusiast, /u/wantminime

**4 days** | /u/LadySkywalker, /u/SeaStars, /u/sidium_, /u/t-i-double-ger

**3 days** | /u/Caribblue, /u/Indigobeet

**2 days** | /u/astr0zombie, /u/BathtubApplesauce, /u/Eatme_WithaFork, /u/little_doll, /u/Noroeste, /u/ssattub, /u/SgtSarah, /u/skinnysweetpea

**1 day** | /u/EARLBEIGE, /u/fragileboness, /u/Lady_Justice_, /u/melanin_42, /u/NoImReallyOkay, /u/norge_erkult, /u/skinnyb0y, /u/snail_love, /u/strivingforlovely, /u/subspacehipster, /u/vemvemvem, /u/UltimateDream

Congrats to everyone who beat their personal record for most-days-binge-free! Let's all do even better next week!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 03, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Jan 3 09:02:08 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3za8np/daily_food_diary_january_03_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 03, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] Holy shit, thank you.
/u/ProEdThrowaway
Created: Sun Jan 3 09:00:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3za8eh/holy_shit_thank_you/
---
I'm down to 163 as of yesterday. It might not seem like much to you guys but I used to weigh 242 pounds being a 5'9 guy and binge Every. Fucking. Day. (Sometimes multiple times per day) This is such a good feeling knowing I'm going to be skinny and svelte by the end of 2016 (or sooner). I just had to tell someone. I'm so excited for what this year has in store. I just wanna thank this community for existing and being here along my journey and struggles with food.

[Discussion] Hello Hello! An Intro...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Jan 3 07:54:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3za16h/hello_hello_an_intro/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Does a 1000 calorie diet work?
/u/cornergoddess [5'2| 120 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 3 07:48:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3za0jd/does_a_1000_calorie_diet_work/
---
So, I stopped for a while, but now I'm back. I was wondering if anyone else was on a 1000 calorie diet and what have been your results. I live with my parents, so I can't eat too little or they'll definitely notice.
Edit: My TDEE is 1568 and my BMR is 1304

[Discussion] Snowfall
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Sun Jan 3 07:28:11 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z9yj1/snowfall/
---
Snow is whirling around my apartment, frantic, whipping itself into a blur before it plummets. Plummets at first but loses speed quickly because its practically weightless. I bet shoppers down in the streets below just see the little flakes trembling in the air and lightly coming to rest on their lashes and coats.

A thought - people with eating disorders also lead double lives, possibly unsustainable, necessary regardless - pops into my head. But restriction plus isolation turns your thoughts a little warped, a little bizarre, you know? Better to focus on the French press, which needs to indeed be pressed if I don't want bitter sudden death coffee.

And *yet*... I want to hold on to a tiny shard of that odd/alone/spacey feeling, for some reason. They told teenage me, in treatment, the first time, that eating disorders were addictions. Maybe they were not entirely wrong.

Maybe *to hell with them*. Maybe I like it.

I won't eat today and the odd little feeling will follow me down the street and maybe I'll even smile.

[Goal] Starting my first long term fast tomorrow.
/u/tinylunacat [5'4 | 110lb | 19| Female]
Created: Sun Jan 3 04:44:34 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z9jfj/starting_my_first_long_term_fast_tomorrow/
---
It's currently 10:40pm where I live, and I've planned to start a fast tomorrow (Monday) for five days. I've only ever done a one day fast before but I want to power through five days. I guess I'm posting this as a sort of reminder to keep going, so other people know and I feel I have to keep going.
Does anyone else here find it easier to fast if you know someone else knows you are? Or if you're hanging out with someone, you feel you shouldn't eat around them, because you'd feel ashamed or something so you don't feel like eating? I get that a lot.

[Rant] Don't we all
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sun Jan 3 04:31:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z9ihx/dont_we_all/
---
http://i.imgur.com/BY9dkyU.png

[Rant] Struggled for years... Ready to be back.
/u/whaletorail [5'6 | 228 | 36 | -13 | F]
Created: Sun Jan 3 03:08:59 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z9cku/struggled_for_years_ready_to_be_back/
---
I've struggled with eating for years. Its either one or the other for me. I'll be fat for a few years then I'll get skinny. It's terrible and it hurts my body so much. I just want to stay skinny for good. I know I have a weird and unhealthy relationship with food.

I'm ready to be my old self again. I was happier then. I love restricting and fasting.

2015 was a hard year for me. I lost my dad and two of my friends. Now I'm struggling with relationship issues with my SO of 4 years because of this. A couple nights ago he told me a lot of stuff he didn't like about me. One of this things was my weight. I had planned on trying to lose weight after the holidays because of obligations but now I'm just ready to start. I hate myself. Ive already fasted two days and it feels so much better than eating ever did.

Anyways. Just thought I'd share and you'll be seeing more of me. Thanks.

(Also this isn't my main account, a couple people know my main and I don't want then to find it)

[Rant] fuck new years resolutions
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 2 23:44:37 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z8vgz/fuck_new_years_resolutions/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Does anyone know of an Android app that will allow you to set and track weekly loss goals, not just an overall weight loss goal?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Sat Jan 2 21:45:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z8him/does_anyone_know_of_an_android_app_that_will/
---
All the apps I can find ask you to submit your UGW, but don't allow you to set target goals along the way. I like to create a weekly weigh-in goal for myself, and I'm looking for something where I can enter this weekly goal and then submit my actual weigh-in to track. I used to use the good 'ol fashioned pen and paper, but it's hard to use that method on the go. Would be so much easier if I could track on my phone :)

[Discussion] Back after almost a month...
/u/InItTLoseIt [5' 7" | 194.2 | 30.31 | -26.4 lbs | Femme nb]
Created: Sat Jan 2 21:26:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z8f28/back_after_almost_a_month/
---
Because of all the stress from the holidays I lapsed on keeping up here and on the Binge Free Competition. I was hoping that ABC would have helped me get ahead, but I binged after the first week. I felt really ashamed because of it and didn't want to have to face the fact that I couldn't do it.

But, hey! New year, new me. And fortunately, I've maintained my weight throughout December! I plan on sticking around more this time. Maintaining isn't good enough. I want to keep getting smaller like I was before, and staying accountable here is what helped me.

I hope everyone had a good holiday season! I'm excited to get back into old habits and kicking my fat habits to the curb. Let's whoop this year's ass!

[Help] Cold after working out?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 2 21:23:55 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z8eri/cold_after_working_out/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] [RANT] Pro-recovery spammer on Tumblr
/u/run_shitlady_run
Created: Sat Jan 2 20:56:57 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z8bdl/rant_prorecovery_spammer_on_tumblr/
---
Sorry about the venom in the title, but it says it all.

A different account decided to "reach out" to me by searching the "pro ana" tag (or so they claim, I don't doubt it), and their condescending language was just absolutely *infuriating*.

**Behold, copypasta:**

YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are worthy. You are valuable. You are loved. There is hope, and you DESERVE to be well. You don't need to be perfect. YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU ARE WORTHY. ā€œPerfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.ā€ You don't deserve to feel shame or judgment. YOU ARE ENOUGH and you deserve to heal. <3 [I've removed the link they attached.]

**...**

There's more, but I won't post the full convo I had with that account. I basically told them that I found it off-putting and that I didn't need "help". *More condescending ensued.*

It makes me angry that they would message me out of the blue to basically tell me that I need fixing. It's hurtful because I feel like my life is finally starting to come together, and out of nowhere, some busybody with a superiority-complex comes by and imposes their ideals upon me. Bleargh.



[Help] Are men welcome here? I am new...(intro)
/u/Iamaloneanddepressed [5'9" | 160lbs | 23.6 | -20.0 | Male]
Created: Sat Jan 2 20:55:07 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z8b4b/are_men_welcome_here_i_am_newintro/
---
I am a 24 year old male. I have struggled for the last 11 years going up and down in weight. I was a heavier child who didn't understand portions of what feeling full was so I ate a lot and at my heaviest near 250lbs in my early teens and then in what seemed like only a few months i got down to 130 which is close to underweight for my height (5'9") through restriction and binging and purging...then yo-yo'd between 140 and 160 which is probably more of a healthy weight for my height but was never satisfied. I have been restricting off and on and trying to eat less because I feel like the only thing that will make me happy is to be smaller, skinnier, thinner. I am diagnosed bipolar with mixed episodes. I see a therapist once a week and have been hospitalized three times for bipolar related issues and suicidal thoughts. My life revolves around food and my weight. I feel like I shouldn't eat and then when I feel like I am going in a good direction with my intake and restriction I binge and eat a ton and like an etch-a-sketch that has been shaken my progress is undone. I have always been ashamed and felt alone for my relationship with food and self-image. My friends don't understand and neither do my parents. I feel so alone and miserable. I found this sub and have lurked the last few days and felt a lot of empathy for people around here and this seems like a safe and supportive community. I want to be a part of your community if you will allow me.

It would be nice to be able to PM or text people for support. I feel so alone in this and despite my efforts to get help I feel like I will ultimately only find happiness when I reach my goal weight or my ultimate goal weight. My person perceived value is so connected with my weight.

-P

Did someone mention fingers?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 2 19:48:01 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z82ce/did_someone_mention_fingers/
---
http://imgur.com/9yMMjbK

[Discussion] How many times does it take for you to purge everything?
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 2 19:06:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z7wrx/how_many_times_does_it_take_for_you_to_purge/
---
I have to throw up at least 10 times to get maybe 2/3 out and it takes me half hour.

I've heard of people getting everything out at once.

How long does it take you and in your experience, did you eventually got more effective at purging such that it takes less times for you to get everything out?

[Help] Anorexia + Diarrhea?
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 104.2 lb | 19.74 | -15.8 | Kinda F]
Created: Sat Jan 2 18:31:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z7s2j/anorexia_diarrhea/
---
It seems every time I eat anything solid and substantial (300+ calories) I get the wateriest shits EVER almost immediately afterwards. Does anyone else have experience with this? Is it a gut bacteria problem or is it a fiber issue, or both?

[Rant] Not sure I can do this anymore
/u/Lady_Justice_ [5'11 1/4" | 126.1 | 16.88| -22 | MtF]
Created: Sat Jan 2 17:49:05 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z7m5q/not_sure_i_can_do_this_anymore/
---
I overdid it like hell on the alcohol on NYE and yesterday and binged my ass off on chips. Except... I didn't really mind. I haven't eaten much today but I feel absolutely awful and know that eating a "normal people" level of food will probably help me so I probably will... I'm just so dizzy and tired all the time, it sucks because I think I'm looking better and better as I lose more... I think I'd look so good at my UGW of 115... but this is just an awful, awful feeling.

Does this maybe mean I'm ready for recovery?

[Tip] V8 Vegetable Juice
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 2 17:41:32 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z7l2z/v8_vegetable_juice/
---
Hello darlings!
I wanted to mention this juice that I use as a meal replacement or to up my electrolytes. It's vegetable juice, so it's relatively filling and low calorie. They contain more sodium and potassium than Powerade Zero, as well as Vitamin A and C and trace amounts of calcium and iron. They're gluten free, and Campbell's announced [here](http://www.ibtimes.com/no-meat-used-v8-tomato-soup-campbells-addresses-controversy-1651258) that this product is vegetarian friendly, although they do not market it as vegan.
They're sold in 5.5 oz cans that are super handy. I usually keep one in my purse since they don't need to be refrigerated.
There isn't a significant amount of B6, B12, Magnesium, or Niacin, so you may still need to supplement with this.
Of course, everyone's body is different. Make sure you know what *you* need!

---

#**Nutrition Facts**
**Serving Size** 1 can (5.5 fl. oz.) (163 mL)
**Calories** 30
Calories from Fat 0

*Percent Daily Values based on 2,000 calorie diet*

**Total Fat** 0g
- Saturated Fat 0g
- Trans Fat 0g
**Cholesterol** 0mg, 0%
**Sodium** 450mg, 19%
**Potassium** 320mg, 9%
**Total Carbohydrate** 7g, 2%
- Dietary Fiber 1g
- Sugars 5g
**Protein** 1g
- Vitamin A 25%
- Vitamin C 80%
- Calcium 2%
- Iron 2%

[Discussion] Long-time lurker finally saying hello.
/u/Leisou
Created: Sat Jan 2 17:03:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z7fkg/longtime_lurker_finally_saying_hello/
---
I'm an obese woman in my 20s who suffers from binge eating and has been bulimic since my teens. I've been eyeing this sub for a while. I've been lonely because I can't talk to anyone without judgment or pointing me in the direction of a doctor or therapist. I just need some friends?

I understand being the size I am, I might make some of the users here uncomfortable or might possibly trigger them. If that's the case, I'll go back to lurking.

[Discussion] Best electrolyte drinks
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 2 17:00:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z7f3g/best_electrolyte_drinks/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Slender fingers
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Sat Jan 2 16:16:50 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z78k3/slender_fingers/
---
For as long as I can remember, whenever I fixate on body parts, be it my own, or someone else's, it's either the collarbone or fingers. The appeal of the collarbone is pretty obvious to everyone I'd imagine, but when it comes to fingers... that's a pretty huge one for me personally. Maybe it's because I grew up playing piano and being promised if I got good at that, I'd get to learn harp some day. The image in my head of a proper harpist is willowy with long slender fingers. So delicate and dreamy. I can just stare at people who have slender fingers and watch them do simply things like write or type for hours just because they are truly SO mesmerising to me.

The other day, I was out with friends, goofing off, enjoying after holiday sales, that sort of thing. I noticed in one of the stores they had a trio of quarter machines (I'll admit, I was hoping for something cute for my phone or something), and the bottom one was rings. I had a quarter so I figured, why not, I get get something cute and cheesy that I can shove on my pinkie finger and call it good. My friends followed suit. Imagine my elation when I realised it wouldn't fit on my pinkie *because it's too big* and that it's actually loose on my traditional ring finger! Everyone else couldn't even get them all the way on their pinkies! We compared the ring next to a dime, and the dime is bigger around because these are obviously meant for a little child's hands.

Is there a more heavenly sight? Is there a sweeter sound then hearing, "Twosi, I can't believe that fits! Your hands are just so slender and gorgeous, I'm soooooo jealous, you bitch!" That answer, right now, is no~ I've been wearing it since then as personal thinspo. It's been amazing.

[Help] Lurker.. New here
/u/numbasafossiliam [5'4 | 120 | 21 | -5 | F, 23]
Created: Sat Jan 2 15:18:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z7060/lurker_new_here/
---
I have been browsing this subreddit for a little while now and just created a new account for it. It's great to have a community like this! :)

I am F23/ 5'4/ 126lbs and my goal weight is 110 (at least for right now).

I have always been small. At my biggest I was 119 lbs and at my smallest 98lbs. I recently had a baby and gained a lot of weight (147 at my highest while pregnant). I was fine gaining weight while pregnant, but need to lose the rest! I hate my body now and have been cracking down in the last week. Hopefully, I'll see progress soon!

[Discussion] What do you do when you get sick? (via germs)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 2 14:07:42 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z6qe1/what_do_you_do_when_you_get_sick_via_germs/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] he called me light
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 2 11:17:10 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z6249/he_called_me_light/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Just wanted to say Hi.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 2 10:29:09 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z5uxg/just_wanted_to_say_hi/
---
Hi.

I just found this sub and have spent hours browsing. Especially the selfie-thread, you are all so beautiful I feel a bit intimidated. But I think I'm going to spend a lot time here, so I thought I'd say Hi and introduce myself.

I've had ED for about 8 years, and have been in treatment for the most of the time but it doesn't do that much good. A few months ago I got out from residential treatment where I was for 17 months, but all that did was make me fat and painfully hungry if I tried to go more than 3 hours without eating(been fixing that).

Don't think there's anything else about me to tell. Well, except I'm losing weight(I want to be under 50 kgs or 110 lbs by 10th of January) but that's kind of obvious.

I hope this post is OK and I don't break any rules. I hope I'm welcome here and if I am, you will be seeing me here a lot.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 02, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Jan 2 09:02:29 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z5ipr/daily_food_diary_january_02_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 02, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Rant] Couldn't fucking do it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Jan 2 08:44:58 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z5gic/couldnt_fucking_do_it/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] There's a new bmi calculator that account for waist in measuring your health. what are your thoughts?
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Sat Jan 2 06:13:14 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z50im/theres_a_new_bmi_calculator_that_account_for/
---
http://www.absicalculator.eu/

[Discussion] How was your NYE?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sat Jan 2 04:41:02 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z4sv6/how_was_your_nye/
---
About a week prior to the party I started heavily restricting so that I'd look my best (ex attended the same party I did).

The day of the party I didn't eat at all. One single bite. When I got there I started drinking beer and preparing Jagermeister+ energy drink for everyone. I kind of started the party early, but everyone else went along with it. (it was 5pm I'm that kind of a mess)

The kitchen was simply filled with food, I could barely touch anything since my stomach was empty. That must've been why I got such an euphoric drunk state. Ended up all over the place, dancing and laughing and goofing around and... man, it was a great time!

Ex ignored me the whole time and I'd get sad about it but then I'd hide in a closet for a while and it'd pass. (I hid in that closet a total of maybe 5 times)

At some point everyone was watching a movie while I sat in the kitchen and drew and drank jagermeister. I'm so amazed I didn't touch any of the plenty food. Even more amazed that the drawing turned out decent despite my state.

Then we went and saw the fireworks and went back and partied and all was great until I ended up making out with one of ex's best friends. His hand up my shirt and everything. I felt kind of like a stupid slut. Still feel kind of like a stupid slut.

**TLDR: Jagermeister is a dangerous game to play**

[Rant] NYE was a shit-show and I am a trainwreck of a woman.
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 1 19:42:18 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z3b9t/nye_was_a_shitshow_and_i_am_a_trainwreck_of_a/
---
TLDR: Everyone knows now, people are trying to make me get help.

I had like three small sugar cookies and a soy latte all day. I told myself I could have three glasses of wine and two cookies all night.

Well I ate a cracker with some olives and some artichoke spread on it. So I went to the bathroom and purged. I purged at 10pm. I had told myself I wouldn't purge at all, and if I did feel like I had to, only after midnight. I fail all the limits I set on myself. AND my friend's boyfriend heard me vomiting and sent her to check on me, so I just pretended to be really drunk and said I was peeing. They didn't bug me again.

A few hours later I ate like a cup of sauteed green beans with so much oil on them, I really should have purged that rather than the stupid cracker.

I got super drunk and ended up crying while sitting on the kitchen floor and telling my best friend's boyfriend about a sexual assault that happened to me in September and told him about my eating disorder. He sat on the floor with me and listened, he was very nice about it. But I was a mess and I wish I hadn't told him.

My best friend hasn't known about my eating disorder. I had to tell her before he did.

I also ended up talking to the guy I have been seeing about my ED. He already knew but I started narrating the days food and purging activities and how I was chewing and spitting crackers into the toilet. I was drunk and it was over facebook messenger and I made no sense. I never would have told him about all this sober. Now he keeps telling me all day that I "need help" and that I am really really sick.

My bestie was talking to me today in the car and wants me to get help too. I just don't know what to do. I lied and told them both I want help but I don't think I want help.

[Rant] Parents ...
/u/litttlelady [5'9 | 115 | 16.7 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 1 17:44:00 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z2wgn/parents/
---
So I'm at home with my parents for winter break from university. I've been living on my own for 2 years and its been great because i can fully indulge my ed behaviors, ( restricting calories, lots of cardio). I managed to avoid gaining weight over the holidays, so I'm happy about that.

My parents are so triggering though. I overheard my dad saying it looks like I "gained a few pounds", even though I haven't. Every single fucking meal with them is a struggle because of their comments like "oh wow are you really going to finish all that?" They think I'm recovered from my ed, so they aren't very sensitive about it.

How do you guys deal with parents?

[Rant] My mom is really triggering
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 1 16:53:54 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z2pzc/my_mom_is_really_triggering/
---
I was at a New Years party yesterday, and my mom literally talked about everybody's weight the entire time. I'm Asian, so she was all like, "Oh Katie is soo skinny. Her legs are like toothpicks and she's tall." There's this family friend Katie who's naturally really skinny. And it continued with stuff like this where she kept asking me what my weight was and indirectly comparing it with other people's daughter's weight implying that I'm too heavy. Today, we were eating dinner and she told me to go weigh myself and I told her that I'm 123, and she's like "I don't think so. I think you're heavier." And I am actually 123, so I just feel like a fat fucking slob right now. And I was like, "why do you care?" And she was like, "I care that you're not overweight." I'm such a fucking pig. And she calls me a pig all the time. She nick names me "fat pig". And gives me a bunch of other fat nick names, and every time she calls me this, it tears me apart even though I pretend I don't care. I'm just really upset right now, sorry. I'm going to make her regret it. I'm not going to stop until I'm 85 lb.

[Discussion] [Discussion] (Blog) Anorexia in Japan - xpost r/fuckeatingdisorders
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 1 15:16:13 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z2ccp/discussion_blog_anorexia_in_japan_xpost/
---
http://www.georgiahanias.com/blog/?p=12

[Discussion] Side effects of your ED
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Jan 1 14:42:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z27l9/side_effects_of_your_ed/
---
We all know that ED take a toll on our bodies and change them. I'm wondering what people have been noticing changing in their bodies because of their ED. Some are positive, others are negative.

I have starting developing lanugo, I'm losing my hair, I'm developing sores on my body (similar to bedsores), I'm having trouble going to the bathroom (tmi), I get really light headed and almost pass out every time I stand up, I'm always cold, if I don't wear enough clothes my hands will go numb and my blood pressure is really low and I have a rapid heart rate

The positive ones for me are losing weight (obvs) and my hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) is gone.

So what are the side effects you've noticed?

Edit: added more things

[Discussion] New Years Resolutions
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 1 12:34:38 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z1q8x/new_years_resolutions/
---
What are your New Years Resolutions and what exact steps are you taking to achieve these?

[Help] Despite hitting a new low I don't look quite as skinny as I did 8 months ago
/u/The_JollyGreenGiant [5'2 | 104.2 lb | 19.74 | -15.8 | Kinda F]
Created: Fri Jan 1 11:31:51 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z1hzn/despite_hitting_a_new_low_i_dont_look_quite_as/
---
This morning I hit a new low (yay!). I had gained weight from 109 to 115 slowly over the past 6 months or so, and dropped to 107.8 over the past two weeks. I just don't feel like I look as skinny as I did the first time I hit 109 back in May. I'm not sure if it's my own body image issues (I do have minor dysmorphia associated with my Borderline Personality Disorder) or if it's that I haven't been supplementing my recent weight loss with exercise. Does anyone else have experience with this?

[Rant] Decided to take the advice I was given.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 1 10:21:23 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z18jj/decided_to_take_the_advice_i_was_given/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! January 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 1 09:02:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z0zbc/daily_food_diary_january_01_2016/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for January 01, 2016.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Tip] My go to breakfast if i'm not just having coffee...
/u/knocksondoors [5'2"| 85.2 | 16.14 |F]
Created: Fri Jan 1 08:46:31 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z0xnn/my_go_to_breakfast_if_im_not_just_having_coffee/
---
http://imgur.com/wXbS6xY

[Tip] My all time fave breakfast us one of these
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Jan 1 08:39:45 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z0wxm/my_all_time_fave_breakfast_us_one_of_these/
---
http://imgur.com/iz4I19i

[Discussion] Trying to go for as long as I can in 2016 without solid food.
/u/AllHailTheGremlins [5'7" | 134 lbs | 21.0 | -26 lbs | F 20yo]
Created: Fri Jan 1 08:19:49 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z0uzv/trying_to_go_for_as_long_as_i_can_in_2016_without/
---
Got this idea from a similar one posted here by another user.

We'll see how long it lasts! I'm not technically fasting. Just no solid food. So I'll probably be having water, coffee, some alcohol, tea, etc. Not too strict about the drinks (although obviously nothing like milkshakes or chocolate milk or any of the stupid high calorie starbucks drinks, not that I drank that stuff anyways). My only real rule is no solid food at all! I'm going to see how long I can keep this going. My guess is about a week (hopefully).

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! January 01, 2016
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Jan 1 05:02:46 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z0g26/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_january_01/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for January 01, 2016.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Know any real girls?
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Fri Jan 1 02:58:16 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z08o4/know_any_real_girls/
---
Who are some girls you follow online for thinspo? All I know of is shmegeh.. I probably butchered her name though.

[Discussion] Kinda strange/niche but....ProControl forums/articles?
/u/Thou_shalt
Created: Fri Jan 1 01:47:25 2016
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3z04c6/kinda_strangeniche_butprocontrol_forumsarticles/
---
Hey guys,

So I'm orthorexic but calorie restrict (I feel safe knowing that I haven't exceeded 1000 calories but that's just my capacity or *maximum*, I usually go for 700-800) and I've gone through a lot of phases this year where I'm reading things and hearing things and getting sucked into the "control is bad!" "be carefree" and mostly watching skinny girls go out for brunch and dinner and eating dessert and having fun whilst I'm being very pedantic and restrictive and what it has lead to has been huge binges, regrets (because I'm NOT those other girls and the things I have to do to be slim and have nice skin require lots of effort and attention) and craziness. I like to explain my ED like alcoholism to skeptics (people who don't think food can be like drugs, alcohol or porn addictions and that if you're life revolves around it you simply have a "healthy appetite!") in that I cannot have a "treat" like others... I can't be 'zen' or 'balanced' or eat in moderation.... I NEED the control and the structure. I know control is an illusion...and that control itself can also lead to binging and going completely off track but for me at least the consequences of being in control vs. being carefree and not worried are FAR better than the latter. People understand fully when recovering alcoholics coming out of or in AA completely abstain from alcohol because they can't even have 1 glass (their version of a "treat") in fact, they teach them immense amounts of control in order to empower them to lead a better, healthier life but hardly anyone can apply this same philosophy to food (maybe cos it's natural?? who knows). Anyway, sorry about the rant I just needed to post this somewhere where somebody might understand (I don't know anyone with an ED or addictions that require control and abstinence and my family doesn't get how food can be ruinous) and hopefully someone can link me to an article or forum talking about/discussing the empowerment of control, self-discipline and structure. It's so wierd. I'm an atheist and yet I often watch religious sermons by this mom on Youtube. At first I was like...why??? why am I wasting my net capacity and for goodness sake why am I watching things I don't particularly agree with!? and then it hit me... it was just so soothing and encouraging to listen to her talk "by the book" so to speak, as in, with accordance to SOMETHING as a foundation on to base a certain structure on.

Thanks for listening!

[Thinspo] A new mindset.
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 31 23:48:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yzw1g/a_new_mindset/
---
http://i.imgur.com/z2Gf8Hl.jpg

[Discussion] Anyone want to join in on a New Years fast group?
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 120 | 20.6 | 25 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 31 21:41:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yzlbh/anyone_want_to_join_in_on_a_new_years_fast_group/
---
So I started a fast two days ago, and it was broken when my mom forced me to eat dinner at my relative's house because it would be impolite not to.

So instead I'm restarting my fat beginning at midnight! I'll take my last sip of diet ginger ale on the dot!

My goal is to at least last on just water and black coffee (with stevia if I have sugar cravings) until the 7th. I'd try to go longer but I'll be at my Big' s house and I'm sure she'll try to make me eat.

I'm making a group me for anyone who wants to join, and I thought it would be cool for us to log how we're doing here everyday. If you're interested, let me know! Also, this is a personal fast for everyone so feel free to go at your own rate/rules/and goals.

[Help] Anyone done a teatox?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 31 21:02:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yzhzy/anyone_done_a_teatox/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] So annoyed with my gag reflex! Any insight on this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 31 20:43:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yzgey/so_annoyed_with_my_gag_reflex_any_insight_on_this/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Binge and bestie
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Thu Dec 31 20:25:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yzes1/binge_and_bestie/
---
So, I binged...pizza, and oreos. A 1600 calorie binge (because I don't drink, so how else was I supposed to ring in the new year? /sarmasm+idiocy) ... But the thing is, I also bought doritos. Then my friend came over to drop off something, and I gave him the rest of the pizza (which was planned, I got pepperoni on half, so I wouldn't even be tempted to eat that half), and he saw the doritos. He picked them up, teasing, but I told him to take them. He doesn't eat chips (not for health reasons, he just doesn't like them), so he said he would bring them back another day. But at least if he brings them back another day, my willpower may have made a triumphant return, and I'll be able to put them into sandwich baggies in reasonable/workable portions. He even said he'd help me (to him I'm just dieting and doing very well; it's going to be a long time before anyone becomes concerned, even if I fasted for days, I'm very very fat). So that's cool that he took them, stopping my binge in its tracks. I ate so much I feel sorta sick, so I'm very glad he took away the doritos, because I definitely would have opened them and eaten like half of them in a few hours.

OK, so I screwed up in the final hours of 2015. But 2016 is in a couple hours, and I'm gonna do at least a 24hr fast for the new year, shooting for 48hr, or even 72hr, i'll see how I'm feeling.

Hope you guys closed out the new year a little better than I did.

[Thinspo] NYE Theme Thinspo - for everyone who needs extra support tonight!
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Thu Dec 31 19:53:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yzc38/nye_theme_thinspo_for_everyone_who_needs_extra/
---
http://imgur.com/a/RSBtv

[Thinspo] Male thinspo album, part 2
/u/calorified
Created: Thu Dec 31 17:24:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yyxef/male_thinspo_album_part_2/
---
http://imgur.com/a/l8P7e

[Tip] Make sure to get enough salt
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 31 14:53:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yygss/make_sure_to_get_enough_salt/
---
Hi, I just wanted to remind/tell people to make sure they get enough salt. I often see people recommending people to have more potassium, but salt is just as important. It helps to keep your blood pressure up and helps to keep your muscles, nerves and heart working.

My doctor always emphasizes that I need more salt in my diet when I'm restricting. So I just wanted to let people know that salt is super important and can keep you healthier as you restrict.

I like to put inot my egg whites. Salted cucumbers are really good too.

Plus salt has no calories!

[Thinspo] Male thinspo album, part 1
/u/calorified
Created: Thu Dec 31 14:11:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yyc04/male_thinspo_album_part_1/
---
http://imgur.com/a/8TXBv

[Goal] Ninety-five point six. Seventeen point five.
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 92.8 | 16.89 | -42 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 31 12:04:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yxvst/ninetyfive_point_six_seventeen_point_five/
---
Last night I ate two slices of my dad's homemade pizza, which he absolutely drenches in olive oil, salt and full-fat cheese. I estimated it about 600 calories but I'm sure it was much more. I ate a few other things to get in enough fiber and protein, so the total for the day was just under 1000 with a ton of carbs and sodium. I also started my period.

Today I stepped on the scale, expecting to be bloated up to at least 98 pounds. But instead, it read 95.6. I tried it a few more times to make sure it wasn't wrong. It wasn't!

I haven't been under 96 in FOREVER. It was my goal to break 96 by the end of the year, and I actually did it! I decided to check my measurements to see if they'd gone down, even though I didn't feel especially thin. My goal thigh measurement was 17.5. Guess what my thigh measurement is today? 17.5!

I'm amazed. With the way I've been eating this shouldn't be possible, but numbers don't lie. This is the best way to end this year and start the next that I could've wished for!

[Goal] Another new beginning. My first EC stack. I feel amazing already.
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Thu Dec 31 11:11:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yxovd/another_new_beginning_my_first_ec_stack_i_feel/
---
I don't know where the Daily Food Diary is today, but I am excited to post in it today. I jogged 4 miles this morning and went to Wal-Mart and bought my first pack of Primatene tablets. I started with one tablet and 200 mg caffeine (my usual dose of caffeine).

I made myself chug a Muscle Milk Lite after my work-out (100 cal.) and that's it.

I work tonight so we'll see how it goes. I love how in control I feel right now. I'm going to go get my haircut (again...) and I just did my nails. I cleaned up my house and threw away some old food.

The goal? To eat healthy food when I want to and to stop binging. I want this control. I hope the EC stack can help me gain control of my appetite and get back into healthy diet habits.

Happy New Year's!


Edit: I ended up taking another half dose before work 12.5 mg/100 mg and my light hunger subsided. It is currently almost 5 PM and I feel fine. I feel light and empty. I plan on having a grilled chicken salad of 100 or so calories to finish my day. I feel so in control of my stomach and diet already. I don't know how I'll be able to not use these all the time now! Maybe I will, haha.


[Help] Is there an active community chat?
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 31 10:47:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yxlhk/is_there_an_active_community_chat/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Finished a doodle from a few weeks ago.
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Thu Dec 31 10:16:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yxh8v/finished_a_doodle_from_a_few_weeks_ago/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/GYKMBVv

[Discussion] Allow me to share with you guys my boyfriend trying to help me have a normal mind. It's pretty cute.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 31 09:13:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yx8xt/allow_me_to_share_with_you_guys_my_boyfriend/
---
http://imgur.com/itKYHgJ

[Rant] Track your binges
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 115.6 lbs | 20.23 | -29.4 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 31 09:05:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yx7yy/track_your_binges/
---
I had a great day yesterday until around 9pm. I had only eaten about 160 calories for the day and planned on totalling around 800. I planned out and laid out on the counter what I was going to eat, then enjoyed some weed...

Despite the planning, I had a horrible binge. Of course. It was absolutely disgusting. I think I am just going to avoid weed for a while now. I had no appetite before and then I was absolutely starving. I know it's an obvious side effect, but it's never been quite that strong for me before. If I hadn't vaped, I wouldn't have eaten anything else that night and would have been totally happy going to bed without eating anything above the 160 I already had.

I would have made so much progress.

Anyway, this morning I decided to try and calculate my total from last night. I was so scared to do it. But I did anyway, in the hope that it would discourage me from repeating my mistake again. According to my FitBit, I burned 2321 calories and ate 3363. FUCK that's SO MUCH FOOD!!!! A legitimate BINGE.

But luckily I had exercised today... So my net was +1042. Which is 29.7% of a pound. So...not absolutely awful...if I choose to put myself in the mindset of someone who doesn't have an ED. To a 'normal' person, this is a typical kind of overeating that is 'normal' around the holidays. It's only around 1/3 of an actual pound. It's "not that bad". I weighed in at 117.2 yesterday morning, so the most ACTUAL fat weight I gained would be 0.3, so I should just weight 117.5 (ignoring food weight before 'elimination').

At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself. I'm having my sister and a friend (more my husband's friend than mine) over for New Year's Eve and luckily my sister asked for healthy food - she's sick of eating junk - so I'm planning on making a Buddha-Bowl style thing for dinner. Hopefully our friend won't bring gross food. I think I'm going to try to avoid eating much at all and claim I'm not feeling well. Which is basically true. I feel like shit about what I did last night.

Anyways, I guess the moral of the story is - don't smoke weed especially after heavily restricting all day, and just bite the bullet and track your binges and maybe if you try to think like a normal person for a moment it won't feel quite so terrible as you expected it would.

Thanks for providing a safe space for ranting, lovelies.

[Discussion] chew&spit.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 31 06:58:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ywttk/chewspit/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What is this sub all about?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 31 06:36:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ywrt0/what_is_this_sub_all_about/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support December 31, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 31 05:02:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ywkee/weekly_emotional_support_december_31_2015/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to /u/InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Help] I'm working at a pizza place... HELP.
/u/FeFe-8
Created: Thu Dec 31 02:42:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yw9uk/im_working_at_a_pizza_place_help/
---
So.. My sleep schedule is awful right now AND I'm working at a pizza place... I've gained so much weight and I don't feel motivated to lose anymore.. I desperately want to but I just can't get the stamina anymore.. Even Thinspo doesn't work like it used too... I'm almost too lethargic to do anything.
I work 4-10 shifts and I make it through till about 8:30 and then I cave, I just get to a certain point where j can't suppress it anymore... One summer I ate one Fresco Taco from Taco Bell (140 cal) and a Mountain Dew Kickstart (60/80 cal) a day and I lost so much weight and now I'm just a fat fucking flop.

[Help] Father is forcing me to eat. Help?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 31 00:18:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvyd4/father_is_forcing_me_to_eat_help/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Do you gain weight right before your period, and if so, how much?
/u/abond4 [5'7.5 | 155 | 23.9 | -25 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 22:56:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvqbb/do_you_gain_weight_right_before_your_period_and/
---
Hi, long time lurker from an alt account. I still get my period and due to the holidays I haven't been quite as strict on my diet as I'd like. I've been eating under 1000 Calories a day for about two weeks now but for a period of 3 days (eating with family), it's been difficult to calculate the exact amount I've been eating. I'm almost positive I haven't had more than 1500 on any of those days, though.

On top of this, my period started today and I'm not sure if the 2-3 pounds I've gained since the 23rd is because of that or because I haven't controlled my eating so well for the last few days, or both. Will the weight go away after my period ends? Or do I just need to work harder?

[Discussion] EDNOS vs Anorexia
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 22:55:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvq8b/ednos_vs_anorexia/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Appetite suppressants that ACTUALLY work?
/u/Thou_shalt
Created: Wed Dec 30 22:42:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvosk/appetite_suppressants_that_actually_work/
---
And also...somewhat healthy/doesn't affect the body too badly (I'm mildly orthorexic).

[Rant] I just want this weight gone so badly (rant)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 22:09:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvl5q/i_just_want_this_weight_gone_so_badly_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Low-calorie dinner/lunch/breakfast recipes that make you feel fuller?
/u/curiousclementine [5'2 | 117 | 21.4 | 2lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 21:53:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvj7u/lowcalorie_dinnerlunchbreakfast_recipes_that_make/
---
I need to find some low-calorie recipes that can help me maintain my less than 800 calorie a day diet...any ideas?

[Discussion] Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 21:40:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvhum/lean_in_by_sheryl_sandberg/
---
https://archive.org/stream/LeanInSherylSandberg/Lean%20In%20-%20Sheryl%20Sandberg_djvu.txt

[Thinspo] some more thinspo before NYE so we can stay strong!
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 160.4 | 29.34 | -14.6 | Female]
Created: Wed Dec 30 21:13:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvem4/some_more_thinspo_before_nye_so_we_can_stay_strong/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Ukb43

[Discussion] Where do you gain weight first?
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 155 | 24.2 | -30 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 21:12:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvek7/where_do_you_gain_weight_first/
---
Hey guys! Just out of curiosity, where do you gain weight first? Whenever I gain a few pounds, it goes straight to my stomach and my face gets super chubby.

[Thinspo] You guys know I like to mix some quotes in with my thinspo pics... here's some more to get remember before pigging out on NYE!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 21:03:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yvdel/you_guys_know_i_like_to_mix_some_quotes_in_with/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Ukb43

[Thinspo] cheers.
/u/Sknie
Created: Wed Dec 30 19:58:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yv5s9/cheers/
---
http://imgur.com/FN0pKn7

[Discussion] Thoughts on dieters tea?
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Wed Dec 30 19:53:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yv53w/thoughts_on_dieters_tea/
---
I picked up a box of dieters tea. I know it's basically a laxative but I was wondering if any of you have used it and noticed that it helps?

[Discussion] My best was "an elephant's penis" a few years ago... right now I'm at "a bald eagle"
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 160.4 | 29.34 | -14.6 | Female]
Created: Wed Dec 30 19:38:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yv39r/my_best_was_an_elephants_penis_a_few_years_ago/
---
http://imgur.com/peqgjBG

[Help] can someone give a hand of assistance? i apologise for not being perfect
/u/-lightered [5'1" | 94lbs | 17.8 | -23lb | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 18:34:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yuvn1/can_someone_give_a_hand_of_assistance_i_apologise/
---
i'm sorry, i don't know where to start

i am a b/p anorectic. i have been for 9 years. i am old (enough! older than you, probably.)

i don't know what to do anymore. coupled with alcoholism i am at a loss. i just want to be tiny. i know, i could stick to 800 calories, or 600, or 100, or whatever. but i have no energy to count. i have no energy anywhere. i keep drinking. can anyone help? i need to stop drinking, big time.

i have big ambitions for myself, in terms of a career.

i am desperate. i wish someone would love me. i wish someone somewhere could touch me. i'm a certain kind of lonely.

i see now that i am skinnier than when i was an outpatient and that makes me feel nice. i want to be even tinier. and my friend when we had snorted too many substances said we looked the same. well, she didn't look too thin, so i must be fat. carry on. i just want it off as quick as possible. sometimes i wish i could just die. life feels like pauses between eating and sleeping, and i can't bear that. i can't bear that i feel like i was worth more than constant obsession wish food (what is it, where is it coming from, how much is it, what time will it be eaten, does it fucking fit you fat bitch) who am i???

who am i?

[Rant] A story. Or, a revelation? I am not sure.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 17:58:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yur4e/a_story_or_a_revelation_i_am_not_sure/
---
[deleted]

[Help] FUCK
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 17:41:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yuoyl/fuck/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] There Once Was a Girl: Against the false narratives of anorexia
/u/allocentriclock
Created: Wed Dec 30 16:54:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yuinm/there_once_was_a_girl_against_the_false/
---
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/cover_story/2015/12/we_need_to_reject_the_false_narratives_around_anorexia.html

[Help] A question for the ladies, losing weight but heavier breasts. Help :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 15:48:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yu9xd/a_question_for_the_ladies_losing_weight_but/
---
Hey there, I've lost 3 lbs in 3 weeks and i can see the slight difference from where i lost. The only problem is that my breasts feel heavier and my fwb feels them and said they got bigger. This usually happens like 3 days before my period but my period isn't due until the 16th of next month! Has this happened to any of you?

What should be our theme color?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 15:08:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yu4ka/what_should_be_our_theme_color/
---
Comment below for colors. Extra credit for having the HTML color code but no big deal if you don't know what that is. Vote up if you want that color. Poll closes Jan 1.

Alternatively, if you want us to keep changing the colors every month, that can be done too.

[Discussion] Weaknesses.
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 14:49:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yu1xe/weaknesses/
---
Do you have a food that you just can't say no to? Like, if it's there, you have to have it or at least get a few bites in?

I do. Mine is a specific dish from a Mexican restaurant I live near. It's the one thing I can not stop myself from pigging out on. It's like my crack. But it's something I rarely ever get, maybe once every two months my boyfriend will come home to surprise me with it. So I don't feel to bad about it when I eat it, I just tell myself not to eat the next day.

Besides that, I can say no to everything else.

[Rant] I purged for the first time.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 14:16:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ytx6k/i_purged_for_the_first_time/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Anyone else going back to uni soon?
/u/secretskinny [5'8.5| 116 | 17.4 | -18 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 13:13:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yto9z/anyone_else_going_back_to_uni_soon/
---
I'm feeling super motivated to restrict and workout to look good when I go back to university in a couple weeks! The holidays were rough, (gained 2 pounds), but I dropped the weight and I'm ready to amp it up before spring semester starts. Anyone else in the same boat?

[Discussion] Laser Lipo UPDATE!
/u/ya_7abibi [5'9" | 113 | 16.39 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 11:36:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yt9qn/laser_lipo_update/
---
Alright, so I posted [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w6v2b/laser_lipo/) about buying a Groupon for laser lipo. I paid $137 for three sessions, and actually ended up buying another three for the same price.

I have been working out with a trainer 2-3 times a week and by myself twice a week for two and a half months now. I'm trying to focus on being strong and healthy instead of thinking I'm fat and disgusting--it's a work in progress. But my thighs have bothered me since I was a kid, and now that I'm gaining muscle there I couldn't really handle it.

The process was really easy, she had two velcro bands which each had four paddles with red lights on them. We positioned them on my thighs, and left them for fifteen minutes. Then, I would go to another room and stand on a vibration platform for ten minutes. The lady claimed it would "break up the fat" and "burn calories," which I absolutely don't believe, but it couldn't hurt. I did squats the whole time.

After the first few sessions I saw a reduction in cellulite (which I've had all my adult life except at my LW, 92 lbs). I also saw my thighs getting slightly smaller. She measured them at the beginning of each session and I ended up losing about an inch from each thigh. I focused the lights on my outer thighs, since I have violin hips and I hate how they look.

I completed all six sessions in about two weeks. After each session, either immediately or later that day, I would go to the gym. The lady who did the treatments recommended not eating an hour before and two hours after the treatment (...let me sing you the song of my people...), but I would usually wait 6-8 hours before eating anything, and drank lots of water. I've been waiting to post this update until after my trainer measured my body fat percentage--it's down from 18.6% (...it was a rough month) to 17.2%, without any significant change in weight.

So, I was happy with the overall experience. YMMV obviously, but I'm glad I tried it and would consider it in the future for other areas of my body.

[Discussion] Has anyone been content at their goal weight?
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 133 | 19.29 | -9 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 11:08:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yt5ni/has_anyone_been_content_at_their_goal_weight/
---
I reached my goal weight but I still feel like I look the same. I've already set my next goal, but I know if I can't see a 12 pound loss then another 5 won't make a difference. I guess it's body dysmorphia, but it's frustrating to not see a thin person in the mirror when my scale and BMI both tell me that's what I should be seeing.

So has anyone actually reached their goal weight and felt good?

[Discussion] Fuck yeah, today is the day.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 10:30:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yszyx/fuck_yeah_today_is_the_day/
---
Today is the day I stop fucking around and start doing what I need to do. I've been sloppy the past week and I'm done with it. I've got my Lo-Carb Monster and I took my phentermine (which, I just found out, has more and less effective versions depending on the company that makes them...I took one I just found from my first batch which was fuckin' awesome- requesting those ones from now on). I dumped my purse and I'm cleaning it out and it feels good. Metaphor for what needs to happen to my body. Let's do it, guys. Let's all have an awesome fucking day.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 30, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 30 09:02:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ysne1/daily_food_diary_december_30_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 30, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] This came up on my facebook feed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 07:19:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ysazl/this_came_up_on_my_facebook_feed/
---
http://i.imgur.com/muuUl68.jpg

[Goal] "Unique" fasting plan :)
/u/littlegayalien [5'2" | 178.6lbs | 33.84 | -4lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 02:54:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yrnp6/unique_fasting_plan/
---
So! I'm starting a fast as of right now (technically after dinner yesterday so since 3pm Dec 29th) and I decided on an *irregular* motivator this time. I've always been pretty crap at wearing my retainer (my braces were removed 4 years ago and I've worn my retainers, what, 17 days in total ĀÆ\\\_(惄)_/ĀÆ). There were a few factors in my bad habit, like losing the thing, it hurting, taking it out to eat and not wanting to put it back in, etc. Anyways, I recently found it again and put it in last night; yes it still fits, yes it hurts like a mother******. So my goal is to keep it in indefinitely until it completely stops hurting. Only taking it out to brush my teeth/rinse it. Aaaand that means no eating. I can drink water with it in no prob. This fast is gonna last as long as it takes for my retainers to stop hurting. Wish my poor gums luck.

[Discussion] stupid films to trigger yourself
/u/tartansheep [5'10 | 132lb|18.93 | -20lb| F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 02:44:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yrmvu/stupid_films_to_trigger_yourself/
---
I know that films like Starving in Suburbia are sensationalist and overblown, but does anyone else find they can't stop watching them to trigger themselves? The girl in that was pretty thin to start off with.

Incidentally the thing that made me realise I was messed up was when I watched that documentary Thin and was jealous of the girl with the twin, because then she could maybe believe how much weight she'd lost.. and she didn't look hideously thin to me, at all.

[Discussion] What are your non-ED goals?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 01:06:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yrf53/what_are_your_noned_goals/
---
Like life goals, relationship goals, achievement goals, etc?

[Thinspo] Really hoping I can cosplay Ryuko Matoi one day...
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Wed Dec 30 00:56:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yre9b/really_hoping_i_can_cosplay_ryuko_matoi_one_day/
---
http://imgur.com/up8Kws4

[Thinspo] The Best Thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 30 00:49:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yrdp3/the_best_thinspo/
---
Pictures of yourself when you were fat. I keep a massive album of these poorly-taken fat pictures on my phone, and when I think I'm going to binge, I look at them, and it kills my appetite.

[Discussion] Attention from others
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 30 00:27:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yrbmb/attention_from_others/
---
So let me tell you guys something about me, I usually am not a cuddly person and I give awkward hugs but since I've lost weight I've been SO affectionate with people!! I think it's because I'm more comfortable with people being closer to my body now that I find myself less disgusting.
Anyways, I was cuddling with a guy friend on the couch and he put his arm around me and then he started tracing his fingers on my ribs and I died it was fantastic between the fact I was being held AND THE FACT MY RIBS ARE EASY TO FIND UNDER MY SHIRT!!!!!!!
Edit: how do you guys feel about physical closeness to others? Doesn't have to be in a sexual way, could be platonic cuddles like me :P

[Tip] For once an ad on reddit is pretty darn awesome!
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 29 22:12:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yqxek/for_once_an_ad_on_reddit_is_pretty_darn_awesome/
---
So I was just clicking about and this link https://www.eatthismuch.com shows up on the top of reddit for me. I actually forget now how they phrased it that made me click it but I am SO glad I did! This site is pretty great honestly. It lets you enter in a calorie amount and then you can tell it if you have any dietary restrictions, things of that nature, and then you can tell it to split that calorie goal up between however many meals you want.

I'm used to things like MFP which gets all preachy when you even hint that you're not going near their calorie goals so I was pretty sure it was going to get stupid on me when I told it give me a plan for 3 meals at a grand total of 400 calories. Not only did it give me three perfectly usable suggestions, IT GIVES YOU THE RECIPE! I'm gobsmacked right now! Now, this could be the coffee talking but this actually excited the heck out of me! I thought if any group could appreciate something like this, it would be here!

I didn't fully explore it yet, I got too overhyped and had to come and tell you guys, but I'm really hoping it's as great as I think it is and that it helps some of us out. I know finding recipes and food ideas that fit into our daily goals is tough for some of us, so anything that takes away just one more stress is a win in my book!

[Discussion] (Intro) No pressure to read this :)
/u/crispycreep
Created: Tue Dec 29 22:08:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yqwwl/intro_no_pressure_to_read_this/
---
Hiā˜ŗļø
This is my intro post you can leave if you don't want to keep reading lol
I lurked on the sub and decided it was time to be more active here. I'm 22 and I purge (undiagnosed), lately I've been in a bad place with my habits and there's nothing to make me want to get better or to seek help. I like the supportive community feel of this sub and I can't wait to post any get to know you all...maybe? Lol
HW: 199 LW:124 CW:129
(I couldn't purge the way I'm used to for 2 weeks :/)
I don't really know what else to put. See you around šŸ˜‹

[Meta]Base of girls for seexxx! My personal list! Link activ: 1 hours.
/u/swolza77985
Created: Tue Dec 29 18:42:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yq7wr/metabase_of_girls_for_seexxx_my_personal_list/
---
http://base.dronyaitkyok.com/nnsntadadnnsntadad

[Discussion] How many of you work out at a gym compared to at home/outside?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 29 17:54:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yq1tg/how_many_of_you_work_out_at_a_gym_compared_to_at/
---
My gym membership renews soon and I'm debating keeping it. I can work out outside in winter since I live in a warmer climate, but I'm wondering if I can be as motivated at home.

My gym is 24 hours and a block away, but it's also $40 per month. I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons before it renews.

[Discussion] Corsetting For Shape? What Has Your Experience Been With ED & Corsets?
/u/SenioritaKiwi [5'10 | 170lb | 23.78 | -60lbs | TransF]
Created: Tue Dec 29 17:07:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ypvn4/corsetting_for_shape_what_has_your_experience/
---
I did this when I was younger. It helped me keep my disgusting stomach wrapped down nice and tight.

Has it worked for you? What are your experiences or thoughts?

[Discussion] Is anyone else's mum their biggest trigger?
/u/the-silencing [5'5.5 | 131 | 21.39 | -2lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 29 16:51:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yptgb/is_anyone_elses_mum_their_biggest_trigger/
---
I love my mum more than anything in this world but she is my biggest trigger, and always has been.

I live away from my parents but whenever I see her when I return home i can see her eyes searching seeing if I am bigger or smaller than last time i can see her eyes change. It drives me mad. and when she reaches out to hug me, I feel her hands searching my back, for bones, or for fat.

I know she thinks sheā€™s quiet about it but I see what she's doing and Iā€™ve always seen.

Like how when I walk into a room with a bowl or plate and she watches me from across the room over her book. Then after a few minutes she canā€™t resist any longer and asks ā€œwhat are you eatingā€. I reply, and she just replies ā€œOhā€ and carries on watching. This has happened since I was 12 when I first got illl every.single.time. I'm 23 now and for years I get anxious just eating knowing my mum is in the house as she'll make some excuse to come in the kitchen to see what i'm eating.

I know she cares. I know she loves me. But thereā€™s always just a hint of judgement.
If iā€™ve put on weight sheā€™ll make slight comments like today when I saw a t-shirt I liked while out and I picked up an 8 (UK) She said ā€˜why donā€™t you try the 10ā€². When she knows i'm doing well at the moment, it really throws me off. She does this all the time. Like how in the new year we can go on a 'diet together' and eat 'healthy together for once'. It drives me mad. She knows my history and at times like this when I have been doing well up to this point, it sends me into overdrive making me think i look like a pig.

Or when Iā€™m skinnier sheā€™ll constantly watch me, and of course she's worried but Iā€™m more convinced itā€™s more jealousy rather than worry. She'll say i look gorgeous and amazing, even when I get really ill. Yet I know she worries so much at the same time.

I don't get it!!! My mum is above average weight but not by too much, id say BMI of probably 26.5 or so.

Is anyone else's mum like this? I love her more than anything and i feel so guilty feeling this way but it makes me so angry inside and I just had to vent :-(


[Rant] Soo... food intolerances
/u/Hiiir
Created: Tue Dec 29 16:01:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ypmwd/soo_food_intolerances/
---
Fructose malabsorption is a great condition to have when you're trying to eat healthy or restrict calories, am I right. Guess how many fruits and vegetables have fructose in them. The green leafy veggies don't really, but everything else falls under "avoid at any cost or suffer headaches/vomiting/gas/diarrhea for the next 3 days" - this means all the yummy things like juices, fruit salads, apple pie, carrot cake, carrots in general, freaking dried apricots (my favourite...), raisins, whatever, at this point I am so paranoid that if I am not a hundred percent sure whether a fruit has a lot of fructose in it I am just going to steer right around it.


Combined with being vegetarian but also trying to avoid calorie rich foods, so far we're leaving out all fruits and veggies, all meat products, and pastries and other carbsy things.


Replace the sugar in your tea with honey: great idea, huh. Healthy and unprocessed, all that jazz. Not a chance, honey (ha). Fructose!!!!


I do enjoy living my life off of coffee, yoghurt (without fruits!!!!!!) and the occasional few pieces of chocolate.


Just ranting because my mum brought me some dried apricots and I got so angry at not being able to have literally not even ONE.

[Discussion] Wisdom teeth//heard it was intro season
/u/Oeuflette
Created: Tue Dec 29 15:54:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yplur/wisdom_teethheard_it_was_intro_season/
---
I've always had issues with eating, but I binged myself to obesity. In seventh grade, I decided to stop in favour of purging until I learned calorie counting. I was 115 lb (5'4) until I hinged my way to 118.
Now, I've been living off of powerade zero and low cal cool whip because of my wisdom teeth removal. Any food ideas for me ?



[Discussion] In one word, describe how you'd never want to look/feel.
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 29 13:53:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yp4tr/in_one_word_describe_how_youd_never_want_to/
---
I really liked [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yk5yg/in_one_word_describe_how_you_want_to_lookfeel/) so I'm curious what is one word that just sends shivers down your spine just thinking about it.

I'll start: **average**.

[Discussion] Maybe a weird question but what's your bra-size?
/u/nicknickedone [160 cm | 53.5 kg | 20.9 | -16.5 kg]
Created: Tue Dec 29 13:21:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yp03x/maybe_a_weird_question_but_whats_your_brasize/
---
And how much smaller did your boobs get after losing weight?

I personally hoped more of my boobs would be just fat, fat girls and boobs ya know, so it at least would be possible for me to buy bras, instead I went from a 32G to a 30G, (I never really had any fat on my ribs) which sucks even more as I know can't even buy my band-size in a store anymore. Oh well, my ribs at least can't get any smaller any more, you cab see the single rips themselves and they already kinda stick out as they are quite brought. Yay for them being the only skinny thing about me I guess.

So yeah I wanted to know if others have problems with bras too or were able to at least lose some boob. :/

New here, I hope my question is appropriate for the sub.

The crazy things we do...
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11Ā½ | 158 | 21.65 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 29 12:48:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yovhp/the_crazy_things_we_do/
---
I just stood outside in the cold (-10 Celsius, or 14 fahrenheit if you're american) for a good 20mins in leggings and thin blouse... cold as hell, but I just had to do it. Why? Idk. To burn more calories, maybe? Or just for the kick? I feel like I do a lot of nonsensical, difficult things just to feel strong. Which contradicts my desire to be petite and fragile.

[Rant] Going stir crazy at my Mum's house.
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Tue Dec 29 12:46:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yov6w/going_stir_crazy_at_my_mums_house/
---
So ever since my Mum left my Dad (which is great, I am really happy for her) she has been so dependent on me that I seem to spend more time at her house than my own apartment. It doesn't help that my very elderly and frail Nan lives with her too, so I'm also pressured to spend time there to see her. Which frankly I do understand because she probably doesn't have much time left.

Anyways getting to the point, I feel so trapped in a house full of food, wine and holiday goodies to the point I've been binging like crazy and I can't stand it. She's also very pressuring with wine because she hates to drink alone, so unless I claim to not be feeling well she doesn't understand why I wouldn't want to drink. If I say I don't want the calories, she gets all agitated saying I don't need to worry about that kind of thing.

She also doesn't have a scale in her house, and I'm going crazy not knowing how much I weigh right now since I'm damn sure I've gained a few pounds. It's making me go crazy inside but every time I want to go back to my apartment (I don't drive, I also have to cart my cat back and forth with me) she guilts me into staying "another day."

I might not have such bad cabin fever if there was a way of motoring my weight (since the scale usually is my best prevention for binges) but I have no idea how she'd react if I bought one for her house. I'm pretty sure she'd either think I was up to something, or she'd take it personally. She's very sensitive about her own weight, which sometimes makes me feel like she's pushing me to eat more.


So yeah, I guess this is just my big fat rant for the day. Does anyone else who's an adult have to deal with this? She honestly is a wonderful mum, but she also displays some narcissistic qualities that makes it hard to bring up certain things because she somehow turns it around to a slight on her.

[Rant] Bra fitting at VS and a tiny rant about the fattening of America
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 93 | 18.4 | -21| F]
Created: Tue Dec 29 12:38:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yotyc/bra_fitting_at_vs_and_a_tiny_rant_about_the/
---
So you all probably knew but Victoria's Secret has a big sale today, like we're talking 50% off, on some things. So despite my fears about people seeing my body, I stopped in, and ended up snared in that infamous pink tape measure. I was relieved, and happy, though, to find out that I've actually lost quite a bit since the last time i was measured (6 years ago...) from a 34B to a 30B.

Ok it's only 4 inches, but still. It's good by my standards. I was already looking forward to trying on a pink and black lacey number from the front window (and maybe those angel wings too? please??) when the saleslady informed me that, unfortunately, this store doesn't *have* any 30Bs. But I could look online or try a different ^blah ^blahh ^blah. On my way out, I noticed that they *did* of course carry plenty of 38s, and even 40s. It was frustrating to have worked so hard, and to have succeeded in improving even, only to have made even more work for myself. I guess I'll order online, but it sure does irk me that Victoria's Secret, who get slammed so often for "causing body dysmorphia" has switched over to catering to fat fetishists.

whew, sorry about that, TL;DR: Got sized out of VS, feeling like no one values thinness in the mainstream anymore.

Have you girls encountered this? And where do my fellow small banders shop? Preferably brick and mortar stores

[Rant] Holiday weight gained. Fucking Hell.
/u/AllHailTheGremlins [5'7" | 134 lbs | 21.0 | -26 lbs | F 20yo]
Created: Tue Dec 29 12:16:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yoqto/holiday_weight_gained_fucking_hell/
---
Came home on the 22nd. Today was weight at the doctor's on the 29th. Gained seven pounds. IN A WEEK. I GAINED SEVEN POUNDS IN A WEEK. THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING.


I hate coming home.

[Discussion] Ever guess someone has an ED and are right?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 29 10:23:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yoawo/ever_guess_someone_has_an_ed_and_are_right/
---
[deleted]

[Help] stressed out about weight gain
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 29 09:47:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yo5w1/stressed_out_about_weight_gain/
---
[deleted]

[serious] How to be a supportive partner?
/u/kdelamont
Created: Tue Dec 29 09:41:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yo525/serious_how_to_be_a_supportive_partner/
---
My girlfriend is, I suspect, similar to a lot of the posters on this sub in that she has mentioned that she thinks she has an eating disorder but seems to be fine with that. I will say (which might be unpopular here) that I am obviously worried about her and don't want things to get out of hand. That said, she knows my stance on it, and I don't want to beat it to death. I trust her to figure out how to lead her life and will be there to support and help out. My question is how to best be a good support network. I don't want to harp on her, but I also (personally) don't want to sit and cheer it on either -- if you were her, how should I act to make sure she does not feel uncomfortably judged?



[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 29, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 29 09:02:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ynzsv/daily_food_diary_december_29_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 29, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


DAE get chest pains from restricting?
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 29 08:46:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ynxts/dae_get_chest_pains_from_restricting/
---
It's not a sting pain but a dull ache pain in the spot between my boobs. can anyone identify what that is?

[Discussion] [discussion] It's always sad confirming someone close to you has an ED
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 29 08:36:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ynwhd/discussion_its_always_sad_confirming_someone/
---
I was checking on my roommate's cat, since she hasn't returned from her holiday travels. There on her mirror is a handwritten note--

> You are more than your ED

Idk. I had suspected it at one point, since she is a strict vegan who works out religiously 5-8 hours a day before, in between and after work shifts. But you never want to come out and say, "Yes, they definitely have an ED," not even about yourself. She's a former competitive athlete (a gymnast) and so I had hoped maybe, maybe they were just old habits.

[Discussion] What are your unusual eating habits?
/u/allthatyouhave
Created: Tue Dec 29 08:18:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ynueh/what_are_your_unusual_eating_habits/
---
I have developed an insane fear of anybody watching me cook or eat because of the comments I get.

In high school I ate lunch in the bathroom because my "friends" would tease me about the smell of my lunch, how I ate it, if I used a straw in my soda can because I didn't want to muss up my lipstick..it was neverending. That plus a lot of other things means I hate eating in front of anyone because of the comments I get.

Just yesterday I was eating a big bowl of broth when my boyfriend's brother pops up out of NOWHERE (giving me an anxiety attack) and starts quizzing me about what I'm eating. "Just broth" is not an acceptable answer, I guess. I ended up throwing it away.

I have a long list of my unusual habits. Can anyone help me feel less alone in this, please?

supersize vs superskinny
/u/ohwaitiforgot [170cm | 49.7kg| 17.6| TransF]
Created: Tue Dec 29 03:10:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yn3re/supersize_vs_superskinny/
---
ive seen people post the uk tv show "supersize vs superskinny" as reverse thinspo. i watch it as well but have several grievances with the show, chief among them being wildly inaccurate calorie estimations (both sides) and the tendency to label what i would find "normal" healthy bodies/diets as underweight and malnourished (though im biased, clearly). i think this stems from a normalisation of overweight/obesity. we've lost sight of what a healthy body look like.

however, i recently found the [kids](http://youtu.be/sKcCho6RVgc) version of the show which actually addresses real eating disorders. speaking directly to anorexia at an age when ED begin to develop.

**FYI** obviously this will address recovery.

Intro
/u/gh0stxx [5'7 | 155 | 24.2 | -30 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 29 00:54:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ymt9d/intro/
---
I've been lurking on this sub for a few weeks now, figured I'd introduce myself finally.

Stats:

-Age: 21

-Height: 5'7"

-CW: 162

-HW: 185

-LW: 159

-WL: 23

-GW: 130

-UGW: 120

-Gender: Female

I've been having a really rough couple of weeks. I know I want to lose weight, I'm completely unhappy with the way I look, but I always end up binging and ruining my progress. My best friend had a ED a few years back and has since recovered and gained more weight than he had wanted. He's unhappy so every chance he gets, he tries to sabotage my progress. For the first time in months I purged after I was convinced to eat a crap load of greasy fried food. I know it's my fault; I shouldn't give into the pressure, but food has always been my comfort zone. Just looking at myself in the mirror, even after I've lost some of the weight I've gained back makes me want to give up.
Sorry if I'm in the wrong place, but everyone here seems super supportive and that's really what I need right now.

[Help] Refeeding?
/u/pcpmasterrace [5'11 | 130.6 | 18.2]
Created: Mon Dec 28 23:12:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ymilr/refeeding/
---
So I'm looking to maintain, and I've recently increased my intake by over 800 calories per day. However, I'm still losing at basically the same rate as before. I'm not sure whether I haven't reached my TDEE or I'm just in the refeeding period. I'm a bit worried that one day, with the same intake, I'm going to quickly pack on pounds. Until I can determine whether this continued weight loss is because of refeeding or not, I can't know whether to keep the same intake until the loss levels off or to continue to increase my intake. Could one of you guys help me to understand the physical symptoms of being in refeeding?

[Goal] Another successful day with myfitnesspal...
/u/_pancaste_ [5'6 | 127 | -21]
Created: Mon Dec 28 21:56:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ym99a/another_successful_day_with_myfitnesspal/
---
http://imgur.com/8JRIcib

Appetite suppressants
/u/podcentre
Created: Mon Dec 28 20:43:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ym00g/appetite_suppressants/
---
Hello everyone!

Where do you get bronkaid and ephedrine?

It seems too expensive online....

Thanks!

[Discussion] Where are you on the global fat scale?
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 124lbs | 19.37 | -41lbs| F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 20:26:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ylxnr/where_are_you_on_the_global_fat_scale/
---
http://www.bbc.com/news/health-18770328

[Discussion] Inpatient treatment experiences?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 28 19:44:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yls2q/inpatient_treatment_experiences/
---
I've been to rehab for drugs, but I'm likely going to treatment for ED in January. I'm so fucked, and I literally don't have a way to get out of it. I'm going to try to push my mom to consider outpatient and agree that I'll comply, but it's not likely to work.

Anyway, questions for people with experience:

1. What goal weight is set? Is it just whatever 18.5 BMI is for your height?

2. How quickly are you expected to gain this weight?

3. How optional is it to eat? How long do they give you? Do they consider preferences such as vegan/gluten-free?

4. If I refuse to eat, will they NG tube me or does that only occur at very low body weight?

5. What are ways to get kicked out? (I'm serious.)

[Goal] Christmas Victory
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 19:19:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ylojz/christmas_victory/
---
Sooo over Christmas I was expecting the worst with cookies and all the fatty holiday food. I even baked a shit load of goodies filled with ungodly amounts of butter and sugar. I was at my grandmas and couldn't weigh myself for 8 days so I was super anxious about it and there's no full length mirror either.
But I came home a weighed myself and I'm 4 pounds down!!!!! I feel like I roundhouse kicked calories and binging in the face XD
Edit: spelling

Bought some thigh highs for my boyfriend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 28 18:56:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yllcc/bought_some_thigh_highs_for_my_boyfriend/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] I hate family dinners
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 17:15:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yl79t/i_hate_family_dinners/
---
I hate family dinners so much, they make me feel so depressed.

Everyone in my family knows about my ED, which is nice because it allows me to stick to my very strict meal plan. But it really sucks when I have a family dinner because everyone is eating delicious food and I'm just eating my stupid little broth with vegetables.

Normally it's just me and my mom for dinner, and that doesn't bother me because she often eats foods that I don't really like. It also feels less lonely because we each have our different meals.

But when my siblings are over for dinner, it just feels so much more lonely. Everyone is enjoying the same food, it was chili tonight (one of my favourite meals) and I just ate my shitty little meal. I feel so much more isolated and depressed.

Urg, I don't know, at least my sister is leaving tomorrow, so there will be less family meals now.

[Help] First post...pain after crazy b/p, what do I do?
/u/Tiny_peach [5'3" | 105.8 | 19.26 (new calculator) | -9.2 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 16:11:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ykyr2/first_postpain_after_crazy_bp_what_do_i_do/
---
Hi guys...first can I just say that this sub has been such an amazing inspiration to me, you're all amazing and even though I haven't posted before (and this account is a throwaway) I think about this group all the time.

I've been restricting without binges for a couple months and was doing SO well, I usually stick to about 800-900 cals a day which I know is still a lot but I'm also a passionate runner (~35-45 miles per week) and I can't eat much less without my times suffering. Anyway so I was doing fine but I kind of lost my mind over the holiday weekend and spent two straight days locked in my house binging and purging insane amounts of food all day. I'm embarrassed to say this has happened before but I've never had this kind of after effect from it - the day after I was super bloated (typical) but I also had this intense upper stomach ache, kind of just below my sternum, between my floating ribs. It still feels swollen and tender there, two days later, I can feel it when I breathe and anytime I move, oddly the only time I've been able to forget about it is while I'm running. It hurts a lot!

I'm trying to drink a ton of water and eat very lightly but I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has any idea of how to fix it? I've almost dropped all the water from the craziness but I feel so bad I can hardly get anything done.

On the bright side I don't think I'll be purging or even bingeing again for a LONG time...

[Discussion] Transgender Development & ED?
/u/SenioritaKiwi [5'10 | 170lb | 23.78 | -60lbs | TransF]
Created: Mon Dec 28 15:32:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yktea/transgender_development_ed/
---
Hi everyone! My name is Keely and i'm a Male-to-Female trans person who is struggling with both Gender Dysphoria and a mild case of Anorexia.

When I was younger (about 14,) I was so distraught with my body developing into a an adult male that I stopped eating entirely. I hoped that by depriving myself of nutrition, Testosterone wouldn't be able to destroy my body by with a huge rib cage and jutting facial features. I was wrong. Despite my depression I still developedagainst my will. Seeing that everything was futile, I started eating again. A lot.

Years later, I've taken control of my life once again. I've been on estrogen for 6 months now and I'm feeling prettier all the time. Not only that, i've lost 60 lbs from my highest weight of 230.

It isn't enough though. I still feel like a disgusting man because my frame is so large. A lot of it is muscle and fat. These are maluable tissues which can be starved away so my true female self can be seen.

There is just one thing i'm concerned with - I don't want to hinder my breast/hip tissue growth. I'm afraid if I restrict my calories any more than I do now, I'll forever look like a man, just a skinny one. That's not my goal.

How can I be beautiful like you?

**TL;DR, I'm A MTF Trans person, I want to cut calories, but am concerned I won't "develop" enough on my second puberty. What are your thoughts?**

[Help] Fallen from such a high place :(
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 15:30:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ykt6s/fallen_from_such_a_high_place/
---
After my amazing 52 day streak, I had some serious dizzy spells. Went home for Christmas and the family had me 5150-Ed. I don't blame them. They love me and were scared for me.

Lied my way out of lock up (promised to get therapy and eat at least 1200 a day blah blah) and ate enough to be let go. But now after a week and a half I am back at almost 140. I'm so sad. But today is day 2 I started again yesterday. I will beat this. I'll make it to 60 days binge free this time.

I want to be at my GW by end of February. I can do this.

[Help] Help: I keep failing...
/u/wishfulthinkings
Created: Mon Dec 28 14:38:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ykm4q/help_i_keep_failing/
---
I don't know how to have self control.


Everyday I decide that today I'm fasting. Everyday I see something I want to eat. I'm not hungry. I don't need it. But it's there. And as I lift it to my mouth, I ask myself...why? Why am I eating this? Why am I doing this. It should be so easy to just say no. But I eat it...and then I hate myself. Luckily I have enough control to keep myself from spiraling out control and binging (most of the time). I don't know how to do it. I need to fast and some days I get so close. Like an hour before the day is over, and I just fail.


Sigh...

[Goal] Cooking and Entertaining
/u/ohwaitiforgot [170cm | 49.7kg| 17.6| TransF]
Created: Mon Dec 28 14:34:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yklf7/cooking_and_entertaining/
---
The long and short of it: I don't have a social or family life. I love cooking.

I've seen people post on here about cooking for others. I was skeptical. "How do you not eat anything you cook?!"

Preparing for the past week a New Years dinner for my family. I've got meat and eggnog curing in my fridge. My shelves are bursting with appetizers. I've been par-cooking anything I can.

And I've hardly had a single bite.

It feels very empowering having things like chocolate sitting on my counter and feeling no urge to eat it. Let them stuff their fat faces. I'll keep my self control.

I was scared having all this food around me would backfire but it's been great. I must find social connections in this town and throw dinner parties more often. Knowing I have to make everything absolutely delicious for others, as well as looking decent and put together myself, keeps me from binging beforehand and able to splurge on quality ingredients for them.

NSV: Maintenance
/u/thornygirl [5'6.5 | 132 | 21 | 20 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 13:36:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ykd60/nsv_maintenance/
---
Weight pre-Christmas: 61kg

I binged badly this year over the Christmas, starting from about the 20th to yesterday, I'd say a full week of no exercise, huge portions and mindless eating and snacks, going to bed feeling full enough get sick and consuming my usual daily calories in a single sitting multiple times over.

Weighed myself today, after eating only once yesterday to try and give myself a chance to shed water weight, and...

Weight post-Christmas: 62kg!

Yay! And I'm nearly certain a goodly part of that is water...

(I am on my period though, and I always seem to weigh less then, so...)

Back to restriction today, because I know we're having another feast on New Year's, and then I'm redoubling my effort to reach my GW by Valentine's Day (50kg).

Sorry about this! Just had to share.

[Thinspo] In one word, describe how you want to look/feel.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 12:46:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yk5yg/in_one_word_describe_how_you_want_to_lookfeel/
---
I'll start: [delicate](http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/18200000/Delicate-butterflies-18267660-600-479.jpg).



**EDIT:** I have a fun idea! Search your word in Google images and choose one picture from the top row of results then link it in your comment.

[Tip] I'm Loving Green Smoothies Again
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 115.6 lbs | 20.23 | -29.4 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 10:49:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yjosg/im_loving_green_smoothies_again/
---
I'm sure you all know about green smoothies. Just wanted to share my love for them!

I totally ate crap over Christmas - like most people...
I want to reset and get back to what I usually eat - veggies and some fruit, mainly.

Luckily, my mom bought me a NutriBullet Rx for Christmas. It's like a high powered Magic Bullet but is pretty comparable to what a Vitamix can do and it's much less expensive. She bought one a few months ago for herself and I had been admiring it whenever I visited. I eat a vegan diet (with some exceptions for holidays, mainly to avoid suspicion of being too restrictive) and it is the best for making milks, soups, and of course, green smoothies!

It's a great way to have a super easy, quick, filling, nutrient-rich meal! I'm currently drinking one that has:

carrot - 51g

bell pepper - 60g

tomato - 153g

ginger - (tiny amount didn't register on scale)

celery - 57g

broccoli - 31g

cucumber - 105g

spinach and kale mix - 57g

parsley - 14g

cilantro - 11g

2 tsp lemon juice

water to fill container (was pretty full already!)

pinch of Herbamare Salt


Ended up being 125 kcal for the whole thing - 2 huge glasses. I feel like it's a great way to have healthy food and I really enjoy the taste of the pure veggie smoothies - I don't need fruit or milks or anything. Too many recipes are like hundreds of kcal - they include high calorie ingredients that I really don't even want.

Just wanted to rave about low calorie, nutritious yumminess that I'm loving.

EDIT - repetitiveness and formatting

[Discussion] Love smelling food.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 10:30:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yjm4c/love_smelling_food/
---
Someone in my office made lunch and it smells so fucking good. I have zero desire to eat it (it's not mine anyway), and it's not making me hungry, but I'm just like, drinking in the smell. Yum, food smell (and no calories, lol).

Brazillian coffee my experience.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 28 09:23:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yjchg/brazillian_coffee_my_experience/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 28, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 28 09:02:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yj9mb/daily_food_diary_december_28_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 28, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] Sarah Ellen
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 07:23:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yixk3/sarah_ellen/
---
http://i.imgur.com/IGc4GDg.jpg

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! December 28, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 28 05:03:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yik0e/weekly_stats_update_december_28_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for December 28, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] Made this this morning; Difference between eating 500/1000kcal a day for about half a year
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 102.7 | 19.0 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 03:54:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yieku/made_this_this_morning_difference_between_eating/
---
http://imgur.com/NcUSxLW

[Thinspo] Thinspo clothes
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 130 | 20.05 | -40 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 03:35:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yid98/thinspo_clothes/
---
Hey all, what are your Ultimate thinspo clothes? Mine are overknee socks and shirts that can double as dresses ^^ I was just curious since one of the favorite things in my progress is always being able to fit certain things that didn't before. Especially the socks keep me going (sounds a bit pathetic but okay). Looking forward to your responses!

[Goal] 0.4 below goal
/u/azureice1984 [5'5.5 | 97.8 | FAT | lost 65ish lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 28 01:23:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yi2jm/04_below_goal/
---
Title says it all.

98.6 weigh-in.

Im not setting a new goal. I just wanna maintain.



Heartburn
/u/Esqueletos
Created: Sun Dec 27 22:47:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yhmqq/heartburn/
---
Do any of you get heartburn from eating so little or fasting? I have such a hard time with that no matter what I take (ex. Pepto, seltzer, etc.)

Another new intro
/u/podcentre
Created: Sun Dec 27 21:06:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yhb0m/another_new_intro/
---
Hi everyone,
I've been lurking for quite some time, (like many others) and i thought i should say hi and to tell you all that you are all wonderful and supportive- absolutely no hatred and such- which i am impressed with.

my stats:

Age: 27

Height: 5'2 - 157cm

CW: 73kgs - 160lbs

HW:73kgs - 160lbs

WL:

GW: 32-39kgs -70lbs- 85lbs

UGW: 32-39kgs -70lbs- 85lbs

Gender Expression: F
diagnosed anorexic and BPD, depression. - 15yrs

hospitalised and naso'ed 10+ times, no stranger to ip.

my weight has been through a typical trajectory of a person with a long term and chronic ed- low weight, recovery weight, overweight.

Please dont hate me. I just want to be the person i was when i was at my LW. i hate the person ive become.

I'm here for support and to pass no judgement on others and hopefully not to be judged....

Pleased to meet you all.

[Discussion] Jealous of Boyfriend
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 27 21:03:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yhapz/jealous_of_boyfriend/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How do you sleep (restricters)?
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 27 21:02:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yhaih/how_do_you_sleep_restricters/
---
How do you ignore the nagging hunger and manage to fall asleep? I'm wracking my brain about how I used to do this. Since my recent binge episode (my post history), I cannnnnot fall asleep without basically binging again. I try loads of hot tea, I take prescribed xanax every night, I try all distractions. I just toss and turn and think and think and think and then finally get up and eat. And even if it's not a BINGE, I've EATEN when I said I wouldn't and I hate that. Ugh, how in the everliving fuck do you come up with the strength/self control to eventually fall asleep and not lie awake for hours with tortured thoughts?

[Help] Hey guys. Just found this subreddit. Ill tell you a little about me.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 27 20:30:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yh6k8/hey_guys_just_found_this_subreddit_ill_tell_you_a/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Not hungry but craving food. I hate myself
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Sun Dec 27 20:18:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yh4zx/not_hungry_but_craving_food_i_hate_myself/
---
I probably ate 1200+ calories at lunch, which is my calorie limit for the day. I'm not hungry at all yet (8 hours later), but I really crave food. I hate that I ate that much in one go earlier, and I hate that these craving are distracting me from work. What can I do about this?

[Discussion] Prepubescent girls
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 131 | 19.3 | -9 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 27 19:17:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ygx4h/prepubescent_girls/
---
Does anyone else feel extremely jealous/envious of adolescent girls who have not fully developed yet? I so yearn for that body but I feel so guilty for thinking it.

[Discussion] Exercises.
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 27 17:54:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ygmmz/exercises/
---
For those of you that exercise frequently.. what's your routine?

My boyfriend was complaining last night about how his stomach is a bit flabby since he started working indoors rather than doing construction. He hasn't gained weight, just lost muscle and agreed to start working out with me. I always have pains of some sort in my abdomen and don't do much because of it but want to be more active. SO any suggestions?

BTW, I live in a small camper so I don't have a ton of room to do anything crazy and I can't afford gym membership. I'm in line for a new job though so it's not completely out of reach.

Bulletproof Coffee?
/u/yakeiram
Created: Sun Dec 27 17:03:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ygftu/bulletproof_coffee/
---
Has anyone tried bulletproof coffee as a way of suppressing your appetite and feeling full all day? I've heard from some people that it works, but I'm scared to try it because it has a lot of calories (from the coconut oil) so I'm worried if I mess up and eat after drinking it, I'll just end up consuming way more calories than I wanted to. So does it really kill your appetite as advertised?

[Help] Ugh Ugh Ugh
/u/kaaatmeow
Created: Sun Dec 27 15:42:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yg56w/ugh_ugh_ugh/
---
This is my first time posting here (I guess this is my intro?). I don't know what to do. I've had an ED since I was 9, in and out of rehab for forever, then I got pregnant. I was determined to be okay for my child and family. I gained so much fucking weight in pregnancy. I thought I could just lose it all after I had my son. But now I am breastfeeding him, and if I dip below 1800 calories a day my milk supply drops.

I am contemplating stopping and going back to my ED, but I have worked SO HARD for our breastfeeding relationship, and I feel so selfish. I want to do what is best for my son, but I am so obsessed with going back to my ED. I feel so fucking disgusting, and I have been purging again, which just is not what I want to be doing.

I am not sure where I stand. Has anyone else had kids?? Has anyone nursed a child while having an ED? Any parents here? Any help would be more than appreciated. I am just at a loss. I don't want to fuck up my son's life either, especially when I have tried so hard to give him a good life so far, and I love him more than anything.

Thanks in advance

[Help] Very tired all the time
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Sun Dec 27 14:52:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yfyax/very_tired_all_the_time/
---
I've been restricting to about 1200 calories per day, which is about half of what I should be getting for my size/weight/exercise. And I feel super tired all the time. I could probably sleep for 16 hours a day if I let myself. I'm super unproductive at work. How do I cope and get energy back? Preferably in a way that lets me restrict down to fewer calories a day :/

[Thinspo] Legs for days
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sun Dec 27 14:01:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yfqx2/legs_for_days/
---
http://imgur.com/a/xPCBc

[Discussion] 40 minutes elliptical trainer at the end of fast day.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sun Dec 27 13:47:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yfoyn/40_minutes_elliptical_trainer_at_the_end_of_fast/
---
Everything hurts, but I feel great. Going to spend New Years with a group of friends in which ex is included, so... I have three days to try and get rid of what Christmas did to me.

Not sure how much three days will help, but I'm... planning on finding out.

Anyone else getting ready for New Years? What's your plan? :)

[Goal] 3,000 subscribers!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 27 13:47:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yfoxr/3000_subscribers/
---
Just noticed it in the sidebar. Way to go, everyone!

EDIT: Hey mods, think we could have r/proED's traffic stats posted every so often? It'd be interesting for us old folks to see how the sub's grown over time.

[Help] Will I Ever Be Normal..?
/u/Kapattak [5'7" | 124.4 | 19.42 | -16.8 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 27 13:03:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yfiq7/will_i_ever_be_normal/
---
Sorry for the block of text! Tl;dr: Got to a weight I was pleased with my appearance, no idea how to maintain weight, only starve or binge. Maybe its time for recovery? Yet Im not an underweight BMI...

This past week I have been at my parents' house for winter break, my first time home from uni. Of course, I had lots of anxieties about coming home and being force fed, especially since Id lost weight since I've left for school and my parents are rather food compulsive (no wonder I have issues with food). Anyways, the last couple of days I've been left to do what I please and with my mom working, no one was monitoring what I was eating, allowing me to restrict or fast as I pleased. One thing to mention is that the scale here always showed a different number than the one I brought to school with me, I tested them both before I left and know that this one adds 2 pounds. I weighed myself and had 125.5, so technically 123.5 and I was very pleased. For once I looked into the mirror and was actually happy with what I saw, I even thought my ribs were showing more than I would like and my hip bones protruded. Maybe my thighs could be skinnier, but I was content. I even thought I want to maintain this weight! So I went to the kitchen to break my fast at 5 pm, grabbed some chicken broth soup and a chicken pot pie.

**Trigger warning**

Then I couldn't stop, I just kept eating everything in sight even though I was perfect fully full after my first plate full. I ate all the chocolate in the drawer, half a box of pretzel stuffed with peanut butter, a ton of prunes, half a jar of nutella, a bunch of brie, a klondike bar and I even baked pastry dough with brie in it. It was like one continuous binge, even when I felt so full I was about to throw up, I kept eating. It seems that I only know how to binge or starve myself, how am I supposed to maintain this weight? Will I ever be able to eat "normally" and have a "healthy" relationship with food again? I remember when I was a scrawny kid that was so picky and would never finish a plateful just because I wasn't hungry or didn't have the room, I would give anything to be so unenthusiastic about food again. Now I'm haunted by food, I can't stop thinking about it, obsessing over it. I love cooking and feeding others, and of course I love eating but hate what it does to my body. Its like theres two poles in my brain that are at war, the healthy side thinking "I need to eat to fuel my body, to live, to enjoy my life" while the other half says "I don't deserve it, I'll get fat, I don't want to be dependent on food".

I have been having daydreams about telling my physician mother about this, but Im not underweight, will I be able to get help? Will it fix my head? Or will I just be force fed? I'm still terrified of gaining weight, and would be happy to lose more weight but totally content to maintain. I'm also a healthy and normal BMI, would healthcare professionals be able to help me in any way or believe me?

[Discussion] Does anyone else on this sub use a fitness/sleep tracker?
/u/MrsHiMyNameIsHannah [5'6"| 136lbs | 21.95 | -43 | UGW 114 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 27 12:56:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yfhsm/does_anyone_else_on_this_sub_use_a_fitnesssleep/
---
I got a [Misfit shine 2](http://misfit.com/products/shine2) for Christmas and I really enjoy wearing it and tracking calories burned through the app and on myfitnesspal. I was wondering if anyone else used one and found it to be useful, or if you have used one and disliked it. I know some people say they don't track your steps right if you wear it a certain place or they don't calculate the calories burned right either but does anyone know if thats true? Just looking for opinions.


[Discussion] Maybe an odd question.
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 27 11:57:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yfa2c/maybe_an_odd_question/
---
This is something I completely forgot about until I saw a post headlined "Banned from the kitchen".


Okay so, I didn't live with my parents. But I did visit my sister whom lives with my mom once to twice a week starting at 13 years old up until I was 18. But every time I visited my mom would padlock the fridge. She said it was because my sister would sneak food and ate too much. (Shes a stick by the way). But I suspect she just didn't like that sometimes I'd eat twice as much as she did.

Back then I would hoard food in my room and hide it under my bed. Maybe she was told this. Anyway, my question is, did stuff like this ever happen to you? It seems so drastic and rude. I don't know.

[Help] Is there still a kik group for this sub?
/u/I_Dont_Even_Know_Tbh [5'2 | 102.7 | 19.0 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 27 10:18:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yexe5/is_there_still_a_kik_group_for_this_sub/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 27, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 27 09:02:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yeokx/daily_food_diary_december_27_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 27, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] Help! I feel like a fake since I gained weight.
/u/AlesanaSmiles
Created: Sun Dec 27 07:43:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yega0/help_i_feel_like_a_fake_since_i_gained_weight/
---
Sorry for wall of text before hand,
I've had bulimia since I was 11, purging at least once, but closer to 10 times a day, but didn't lose any weight until I hit a severe restricting cycle when I was 14. I went from 245 lbs to 153 in 3 months(At 5'6). I've kept the weight off, sometimes dipping down into the 140s, for 3 years (im 17) which is barely a feat, but I've been obese all my life, this was a big deal to me, and I've always wanted to go lower. I've been trying to recover from purging, and have made it down to around 3 times a week, but I have PACKED ON pounds. I've gone up from 149 to 192 and I feel like anytime I try to say my piece of ED forms like this and MPA, I don't deserve to because I'm a fake. Am I?

[Help] Please help! I need to know if I need to stop working out.
/u/familythro
Created: Sun Dec 27 00:58:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ydoc8/please_help_i_need_to_know_if_i_need_to_stop/
---
I am *SO* dissatisfied with my lower body. I am a ruler shape, so no hips, no ass. I gain weight around my middle, not my hips nor in my boobs. But I've been hitting the gym a lot lately in an attempt to work on my glutes. I noticed only minor improvement (maybe placebo effect?) but it hasn't been that long, so I decided to be patient to see more results.

Except today, I noticed that my quads/legs look GINORMOUS. I hate it. I want to cry, I've been working so hard at the gym these past couple months and I was doing it wrong the whole time. I wanted to *keep* my skinny thighs. I know all the trainers say it's unrealistic to only spot target only certain areas of your body, but I follow so many fitness models on Instagram and fitness blogs on the internet and I don't know, I was hoping I could sort of get the same small waist+small legs+big round booty combination.

Now, my thighs just look hideously large compared to my small calves, and my butt, which is still SO FLAT. I don't know what to do anymore. Part of me wants to stop working out and just let the muscle go away, but I don't know if that will fix this. Will doing more cardio melt the muscle faster? Or should I stay the course, modify my exercises to activate my glutes more, and accept that a bigger butt might come with bigger thighs? Is it even possible to fight your natural body shape? I'd be okay with bigger thighs if I had a bigger booty, but I don't, so it just looks so disproportionate. Help!

[Discussion] How do you resist?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 27 00:33:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ydmeh/how_do_you_resist/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Group order for ephedrine?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 27 00:32:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ydmd0/group_order_for_ephedrine/
---
[deleted]

Knyburg, new/old mod
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 26 23:03:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yde84/knyburg_newold_mod/
---
Hello, I'm back for real this time dependent on whether I get suddenly sent to rehab. I've been back under a different account but had no time to post. The knyburg2 account was a fake and not me. Hopefully, you all didn't really believe it. If not, whatever. I like the blue of this sub, but I thought the pink was classier. Meh. Anyway, this is just a message to explain why the moderator list has changed yet again.

[Discussion] Introduction
/u/gjroberts93 [5'11" | 190lbs | *** | -15 | M]
Created: Sat Dec 26 23:03:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yde7q/introduction/
---
I've written and rewritten this post a few times because I'm not sure what to say or how to say it. I've been lurking on this sub for a few weeks now. I'm still not sure how I feel about it or if I even belong here.

I'm a guy, 22 y/o. I'm not going to share my weight because, frankly, even thinking about it makes me incredibly anxious.

I was raised in a fat family, with a lot of really poor eating habits and very little physical activity encouraged by my parents. I counteracted that starting in middle school when I joined track and really got into running. But seeing how my physique (which at that point was average, probably almost underweight) compared to a lot of the other guys on the team (very wiry, taller, thin guys) really struck a chord with me and I got obsessed with how my body looked and controlling my weight. It came to a cusp in high school when I would go days without eating, until I finally ended up collapsing and being sent to a nurse at cross country practice one day. My parents got really worried about my eating, and though I was never diagnosed with anything (didn't go to a doctor for it) they were on me like hawks. So for the rest of high school I ate normally, if little, because I was forced to.

When I finally came to college, all of the changes and stress and dining hall food led to a binging habit which, coupled with the fact that I wasn't on a sports team anymore, led to some weight gain. That stuck with me until this past summer. I had just graduated, and started going to the gym more often with fraternity brothers since I still live in the area of my college.

But now those old obsessive eating tendencies are coming back, and frankly I don't see anything bad about it because I've definitely gained weight that needs to be lost. As I sit and type this I see my belly poking out in the bottom of my vision and it makes me feel ashamed and shitty about it.

It doesn't help that I'm a single gay man. I know straight guys can have disordered eating too, and often do, but I feel like there's more pressure on gay guys than straight ones to have these perfect bodies with no fat and plenty of muscle (though it's nothing compared to the pressure on women, I'm not going to say that it is).

I really don't know what the point of me making this post is. Maybe some accountability as I go into some deeper calorie restriction than I've done in a while.

My apologies if I don't belong here, please tell me if I'm not welcome. I just feel like I need a group where people understand that I don't want to just eat and eat and eat all the time.

[Discussion] ED Related Dreams
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 26 22:13:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yd9le/ed_related_dreams/
---
Does anyone else have ED related dreams? Share them please!


Last night I b/p-ed. It was bad, I shouldn't have. But that isn't the point. Often times, when I b/p, I get weird dreams. This morning I woke up recalling this novelty:

I went to a thrift store with a friend, where I came upon a gold plated food scale with the most gorgeous etching. She asked me why I was so excited and in my dream, I panicked and said "I will use it to weigh drugs."

So I guess dream-me would rather look like a drug addict to my dream-friends than admit that I would like to weigh my food?

[Discussion] What's your Myers Briggs personality type?
/u/Sknie
Created: Sat Dec 26 20:45:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yczok/whats_your_myers_briggs_personality_type/
---
I'm curious if there's a pattern, just for fun.

If you know your type, what is it? If you don't know your personality type and want to find out, I like this test: http://www.16personalities.com/ or you can simply google "Myers Briggs Personality Test" or something similar.

Also, what's your opinion on the validity of these types of test?

I'm INTJ.

Edit: I'll put together a little chart based on what everyone has reported later. Again, it's just a half-assed survey for fun, more information would be needed for it to mean anything - for example which ED you have would probably make a difference, I'd think. Still, it's interesting - at least to me and maybe someone else who enjoys seeing collected data organized into a nice chart. To make it simple I'm going to disregard the 5th letter (Identity letter) that's from the 16personalities test and just focus on the traditional four letters of everyone's types.

Edit:

Chart: https://live.amcharts.com/RmMTc/

* INTJ: 12
* INTP: 7
* INFJ: 8
* INFP: 8
* **Total Intoverted/iNtuitive (IN):** 35

* ENTJ: 1
* ENTP: 3
* ENFJ: 0
* ENFP: 2
* **Total Extroverted/iNtuitive (EN):** 6

* ISTJ: 2
* ISTP: 1
* ISFJ: 0
* ISFP: 1
* **Total Introverted/Sensing (IS):** 4

* ESTJ: 0
* ESTP: 0
* ESFJ: 0
* ESFP: 0
* **Total Extroverted/Sensing (ES):** 0

That's what I found the most interesting: 34 out of 45 are introverted intuitive (IN) and 0 out of 45 are extroverted sensing (ES) with disordered eating.

[Rant] Gotta try harder
/u/lord_pterodactyl
Created: Sat Dec 26 17:52:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ycfwh/gotta_try_harder/
---
I just saw my cousin for the first time in like, 3 years. She's so fucking skinny. When she leaves the room, everyone talks about her, like how she's so thin and they should send her care packages because she must not be eating enough.

She doesn't have an eating disorder. Her and her boyfriend are just really athletic people.

I want that to be me. I want to be so thin that people say those things about me behind my back. I want people to worry about me.

Now that I've seen her I just feel so fucking jealous. Like I'm a failure for not being skinnier than her. I need to work harder. I need to eat less. I need to be skinnier than her no matter what.

I'm so pissed off. I hate myself.

[Help] Advice/reassurance please?
/u/LilyMae91 [5'7 | 109.5 | 17.1 | 20 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 26 17:50:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ycflb/advicereassurance_please/
---
Okay, so for about 4/5 weeks now I have had this pain in the right side of my back, just above my hip, like, base of my spine. It feels like it might if someone punched you. More of a muscular pain than a bone pain, but like, inside my body. (God, I am not explaining this well at all.) I'm pretty sure it started when I began restricting HARD and lost just under a stone in a month. I don't really want to go to the doctors (for so many reasons!) but I don't know if this is serious or not. Any advice would be welcomed!
PS: I have epic anxiety so if you think it is bad please say so in a gentle way...!

This illness has fucked with my head so much I have no idea wtf is going on half the time.

[Help] Good thinspo subreddit?
/u/MollyManiac666 [6'0 | 155 | 20.21 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 26 13:32:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ybk9d/good_thinspo_subreddit/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Thoughts on weightlifting?
/u/yakeiram
Created: Sat Dec 26 10:51:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yb03q/thoughts_on_weightlifting/
---
I run a lot and fortunately my dad is pretty into working out too so now that I'm home for Christmas I can keep up my workout plan. However, he really likes weightlifting and wants me to try it. He says girls can't get big from it unless they're taking steroids or lifting absurdly heavy weights, but I'm still scared of getting muscular. Does anyone have experience with this or any thoughts on it?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 26, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 26 09:02:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3yanex/daily_food_diary_december_26_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 26, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Rant] Banned from the kitchen.
/u/Itsemurha [5'9 | 77kg | 24.86 | -43kg | F]
Created: Sat Dec 26 04:52:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ya1xg/banned_from_the_kitchen/
---
This is a rant because I am a piece of shit who is out of control. (I live in the future - pacific time zones, if things don't make sense)

Okay, yeah. Everyone says christmas is a time where people feast but I have been a fucking cow over the past three days, holy shit.

First it started with the cookies. Home baking for all the neighbours, guess who ate handfuls of chocolate covered peanut butter balls and chocolate covered pretzels. Purged at least four times during christmas eve, going back to fill my fucking face later with more. Didn't even eat real food, just cookies.

Christmas breakfast, tea, two bananas and more cookies.

Christmas lunch: a quarter wheel of blue cheese and probably handfuls of pickles. My stomach didn't even have time to fully digest all of the sugar I had eaten before so my belly was already bloated. Still stuffing my face with home baking inbetween.

Dinner.. ugh. A HUGE serving of scalloped potatoes, steamed beans, a whole turkey wing, turkey stuffing and gravy over all of it. went back for seconds on the scalloped potatoes too. then after that, a giant bowl of summer fruit soup with cream, and then another half bowl after that. And then candy and more cookies.

I didn't even fucking wait for the guests to leave our house. I just started running the bathtub and purged and purged until I couldn't anymore. Hid in the bath until everyone left eventually.

Before bed, went back and ate some key lime pie, someone gifted me cheetos and I ate them all, then purged. I was also gifted a family sized bag of M&Ms, ate half and then purged them up again too.

Today: Ate the rest of the bag of M&Ms, purged it all. Ate some peanuts, purged those later too. Later on for lunch, I had more fruit soup, turkey and stuffing, purged that up as well. Later had a banana and actually kept that down.

Dinner: Mini quiche and some tea. Wanted to purge it too in the shower but too afraid I might tear something in my throat.

After all this, My stomach aches constantly, my throat is raw, I keep burping up stomach acid, my tongue is burned and there are literally chunks of skin missing from the roof of my mouth.


The worst part?


I'm still hungry.




[Discussion] /r/proED Media Library?
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 26 04:37:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ya0vv/rproed_media_library/
---
I thought it might be interesting to have a Library in the sidebar where we can link pdfs of e-books, articles, videos like TED talks, movies and even music related to eating disorders that we could use for reference/support? I remember there were some threads where we recommended books, but i think it would be great if we could easily access them neatly linked in a directory-like page in the sidebar. If this idea is approved by the mods, feel free to use this thread to reccomend/link media that might interest us!

[Rant] I'm not feeling myself
/u/HellAbove [5'6.5"|142.6 lbs|22.7|-11.2 lbs|F]
Created: Sat Dec 26 03:52:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y9xu5/im_not_feeling_myself/
---
I was doing so well in the beginning of December. Two weeks. Then finals week came up. I started eating. Compulsively. I was so scared of failing everything. Failing this semester and at restricting. I got my grades yesterday (On Christmas too because my school sucks.) I did wayyyyy better than I thought I did. But now I have to get back on track..with everything. I just feel like such a failure. I was below 140 and losing earlier this year..and I went on a long B/P cycle and fucked it all up and I'm back at square one. It makes me hate myself so much. Ugh. I don't know where I'm going with this post. Im just feeling really emotional and it's almost 6 in the morning and I'm crying in my room listening to the Beatles cause they're on Amazon Prime now. I'm so sorry for my blabbering.

Step 1 was taken and I started a spreadsheet for 2016. So there's that.
What's everyone's plans and goals for 2016?

[Discussion] Does anyone struggle with food addiction?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 26 00:40:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y9lnh/does_anyone_struggle_with_food_addiction/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] [Rant] You can't just become anorexic
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 25 23:57:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y9iar/rant_you_cant_just_become_anorexic/
---
Warning: I'm being gratuitously harsh and rude in this post. Don't read if you're easily offended.

I really have to get this off my chest. I don't want to sound like an elitist bitch but no, you can't just become anorexic even if you really really want to. You will end up binging a lot if your brain is not genetically prone to anorexia but you try "restricting"/"crash dieting".

Now that doesn't mean that you don't have an eating disorder, that just means that you're not anorexic. This doesn't make your eating disorder fake or "not serious enough" either. You can have a terrible eating disorder that could kill you, and I'm not denying the seriousness of it. I'm just saying that it won't magically become anorexia.

Stop thinking that anorexia is this be all end all sort of nirvana goal that you can attain if you want it bad enough because it isn't and you scientifically can't and won't develop it just because you simply want to. If you do develop it, it's because you were genetically prone to it in the first place.

I'm just writing this because my friend has binge-restrict EDNOS which I was also diagnosed with at first. I eventually developed anorexia, which is my current diagnosis and she's OSFED/EDNOS now. This is just something that I really want to say to her, sorry if this offended anyone.

And to be honest, I've met enough ED girls in group therapy to know the "anorexic type". If I were to talk to you in person, I can predict to a decent certainty whether you're going to develop anorexia or not down the road. I can always fucking tell, which makes it irritating and sad to see girls I know who want so bad to be anorexic because they're like, "I have an ED anyway, might as well be the one I want".

And also, it's irritating to see people on here say specifically that they want to be anorexic as if anorexia is this holy grail and those with EDNOS or bulimia are not as serious or are inferior. It's just really fucking rude and insensitive.

**Edit:** Again, I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone who has EDNOS or bulimia and really wanted anorexia. I understand that you want it, but I'm making the point that for some people, it's really not possible. I'm sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear.

[Help] I'm freaking out right now.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 25 22:45:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y9bvj/im_freaking_out_right_now/
---
I'm getting straight to my question and then for anyone who wants to read, I put the explanation to why I'm in such a headspace below. I have binged every day this week, all day. Lots of cakes, sweets, carbs, cheese, bread, etc. When I look in the mirror, not only does my stomach protrude but my thighs, arms, face look notably chubby and heavier. I consider myself clear-minded and logical but I cannot shake this reality when I look in the mirror. I've been crawling in my skin all day seeing myself in reflections and mirrors. And then tonight, I facetimed my boyfriend and I couldn't stop staring at myself on the screen. In every position I shifted to, I looked chubby and spilling over. I was embarrassed and to be completely honest, terrified. I don't know if I'm more terrified that I gained weight or that I haven't gained weight and my brain is distorting reality. For the past month or so I've actually been paranoid that I look too thin and "sick" and I've wanted to gain a bit of muscle. But now, only 5 days later, I see a completely different person. Is that fucking possible or is that disorder? My ultimate question is: does water weight distribute evenly? Has binging possibly caused water weight that I can visibly notice? I have the possible misconception that water weight only bloats your stomach, is that false? Thighs, arms, face too? Puffy? Or did I manage to gain this much ACTUAL fat? Or is this a form of body dysphoria and my vision is betraying me? I feel insane and cannot stop obsessing. I feel horrible and completely out of control.

I binged HARD this week. I'm binging AT this moment, leaning over to swallow down chocolate chip cookies in between typing. I know, disgusting. I know, complete and total lack of control. I feel sedated, removed. I'm not making decisions. The week prior to christmas, I sat in my restriction-high chair and scowled at the weakness of those who binge "just because it's the holidays". I thought, what a great challenge to be ESPECIALLY pristine that week and go into the new year looking/feeling great. BUT, the endless meals, treats, etc. fucking got to me.

I feel so defeated right now because I just went through: the BINGE yourself sick all day today because you already "ruined" restricting, and then wake up feeling motivated to restrict again, and then falling victim to binging again. I'M SO MENTALLY EXHAUSTED AND PHYSICALLY WRECKED.

Omg.

I cannot wait to wake up tomorrow and actually get back to control and feel energy again. I feel lethargic, nauseated, stuffed, sad, achey, bloated. I want clarity, slim, focus.



[Thinspo] Thinspo my chest bones are jealous of
/u/knocksondoors [5'2"| 85.2 | 16.14 |F]
Created: Fri Dec 25 22:00:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y97g0/thinspo_my_chest_bones_are_jealous_of/
---
http://imgur.com/qoXpWf4

[Discussion] This is going to sound horrible, but from the very start I wanted to be anorexic. [An introduction]
/u/Frankensteingirls
Created: Fri Dec 25 14:26:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y7uk1/this_is_going_to_sound_horrible_but_from_the_very/
---
This is going to sound horrible, but from the very start I wanted to be anorexic.

I was a ā€œnaturallyā€ skinny child, which would be how my family would put ā€œexercising every day and eating absurdly healthy.ā€ Snacking meant munching on raw carrots and apple slices. It wouldnā€™t be until college that I would look at the brightly packaged Oreos and Cheezits in the supermarket isle and think, ā€œWait, *I* could buy that.ā€ It was just not something we did, not *our* family, Oh heavens no.

But this isnā€™t a my-parents-hated-fat-people TV Movie. My parents and brothers donā€™t look down on people who are fat; they look down people who are dieting. You are supposed to want to eat healthy, to be addicted to exercising (ā€œOh, I just *canā€™t* go without my morning run, itā€™s like my crack hahaā€), and to love your body, regardless of size. Fat people were seen as prioritizing other things over their weight ā€“ career, gourmet cooking, etc. That was fine. Dieters were betraying itā€™s-whatā€™s-on-the-inside-that-counts, betraying intelligence-over-looks, betraying feminism, betraying all that women have accomplished in the last hundred years, for fuckā€™s sake. Dieters were terminally *shallow*.

Then I entered high school and got fat. I cried. I looked in the mirror and punched my stomach and felt shallow for looking in the mirror. I was no longer one of the naturally skinny people and so I was destined for a life of being one of the intellectual-but-fat people (Bear with me here; high school is terribly dramatic). There I was in limbo, being fat and punching myself and hating myself, when I got sick with the flu. You can easily drop ten pounds in a week and a half, being too sick to eat. But most of it is water weight, which means it comes back. I did not want it to come back. I had realized losing weight was something *I* could do. But would that make me shallow, counting calories and probably eating only celery, for all I knew? I couldnā€™t stand the blow to my self-esteem that being *on a diet* entailed but I *also* couldnā€™t stand being fat.

Then it hit my high school brain ā€“ anorexia nervosa! If I had an eating disorder, no one would call me shallow (wrong); they might see me as sick, but not pathetic. It would be terribly dramatic and possibly tragic and everyone would feel sorry for me and I would be ethereal and somehow also a ballerina (despite a marked lack of limb coordination and no previous interest in dancing).

And so I typed ā€œanorexia nervosa symptom criteriaā€ into the search bar and started my weird, fucked up journey.

It has been six years. Iā€™ve dabbled in recovery, anorexia, bulimia, exercise bulimia, just plain binging, and, for a memorable two weeks, eating only candy. Iā€™ve been hospitalized once, collected and exchanged diagnoses like bankers exchange stocks, and somehow graduated college with average grades. Not sure where I will be tomorrow, but today Iā€™m slinking my way toward Anorexia Land again. Yes, I do know I should know better. But thereā€™s always that weird little part of my brain that says, ā€œYay! Letā€™s get sick! Letā€™s get skinny!ā€

Anyway, you all seem like lovely people and Iā€™m pleased to meet you all, Iā€™m sure.


[Discussion] Post Christmas plan?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 25 14:13:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y7t0y/post_christmas_plan/
---
So since it was Christmas, most of us probably over ate and possibly gained some weight. I know I did. I'm pretty embarrassed of the amount of food I ate and weight I probably gained.

So I was wondering what is everyone's plan to get back on track with their weight loss.

I'm going to start restricting to below 300 cals a day, starting tomorrow (Dec 26). I made a meal plan that is about 240 cals a day. I'm also going to have a few mandarin oranges the first few days because they help me poop (sorry tmi). I'm also debating starting to do EC stacks

[Rant] I never thought it could be this difficult to not do something.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 25 13:09:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y7ll6/i_never_thought_it_could_be_this_difficult_to_not/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] [Discussion] Anyone else get a fitbit?
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 112 | 18.6 | -13lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 25 13:03:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y7kxs/discussion_anyone_else_get_a_fitbit/
---
Let's add each other! You can only do the challenges with friends and I don't have any :P My email is chloestrider@gmail.com so feel free to add me (You can always comment and PM if you don't want to share your email publicly)

[Discussion] [Intro] / Wanting to be petite
/u/kore_ [5'4 | 114lbs | 19.10 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 25 12:05:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y7ene/intro_wanting_to_be_petite/
---
So i just found these sub a few weeks ago and i think now its time to stop lurking, and this is my first post (:

First of all, I really love the posts in this sub and how motivating and honest they are and I wanted to lose weight since the beginning of my puberty. I've never been this small petite girly girl, like my friends and i always felt bad for beeing 'a little bit more to love'

And I know, I'm not the most masculine girl in the world, but I can't stop comparing myself to other girls, who are smaller and probably cuter.

In addition to that, I've met a boy who is about is about 5'6 (~173 cm) and I'm like 5'4 (~166 cm) plus he has normal weight, but we are still nearly the same height, and i feel like a fat wale, when I'm near him. I like him and its probably stupid, but I want to feel like I'm the girl in the relationship. And if I would want to wear heels (I never wear heels, but what if I want to?) I would be this big elefant. So if I can't be the small thin girl, I at least want to be the thin girl, and have a thin and feminine silhouette and not look like a wale-amazon combination.

I'm so jealous of these small and cute and thin girls, I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way, and i know its stupid and probably doesn't make any sense but then again humans aren't rational. Is there anybody out there who has they same problems like me? ):

[Help] Merry Christmas?
/u/thin_is_in [5'8 | 128lbs | 19.5 | f]
Created: Fri Dec 25 10:36:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y74vq/merry_christmas/
---
Anyone else got to the point that they want to stab themselves in the stomach?!

Urgh, can't wait til I'm back to my own place. Never eating again!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 25, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 25 09:02:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y6v8z/daily_food_diary_december_25_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 25, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] Christmas Day fast, anyone with me?
/u/Lady_Justice_ [5'11 1/4" | 126.1 | 16.88| -22 | MtF]
Created: Fri Dec 25 07:47:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y6oui/christmas_day_fast_anyone_with_me/
---
My family usually has a "hot pot" dinner on Christmas Eve (in memory of my grandfather, whose birthday was the 24th and always liked it as his birthday party - he passed away in 1993 and we continued the tradition). I actually got through it okay, but then one of my family members' gifts to me was a bag full of food and candy (side note: some of it I couldn't eat because she forgot I was allergic to nuts, so I dodged a bullet on a cheese spread with almond flakes in it and a can of mixed nuts). I ended up binging on the candy, purging it, sucking my e-cig out of all of its vapor, staying up all night and feeling terrible.

It's now 7:42 a.m. here as I write this and I'm going with my dad to another house for a Christmas dinner and white elephant exchange, and here's my goal: make it until midnight without eating. I b/p'd the candy at roughly midnight (I don't recall exactly) and have now been awake for over 25 hours straight. I figure I can get to the house hosting the dinner (leaving at 1 p.m.), doze off and ignore the food, and I'll get home at maybe 8 tonight. I've got plenty of Bronkaid and diet Coke to help me through this. I'll take some Bronkaid with me. Take it in the bathroom (I can hide the pills in my purse). I can do this. I will do this.

Who's with me?


**Edit**: Went to my dad and stepmom's house. Stepmom got the ball rolling by saying my dress was too short. I shook her off. Told me I needed to act and dress my age, that I looked 12 years old, like a whore, that she didn't feel comfortable being seen with me like that, over a dress that was a FUCKING CHRISTMAS GIFT FROM MY MOTHER, I couldn't take it anymore and broke down crying. Walked out and just nodded at my dad when he asked me if I was going home. I'm now home alone (gf is at her aunt's house) and gonna get shitfaced off rum and diet coke. Still not eating though. But fuck. EVERYTHING. FUCK. IT. ALL.

**Edit 2**: Despite the unplanned drinking, because it was on a totally empty stomach, I passed out after two and a quarter glasses of rum and diet coke, and didn't eat at all. Only 320 calories. Kaboom?

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! December 25, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 25 05:02:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y6d3d/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_december_25/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for December 25, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] How do you NOT fit the stereotypical Eating Disordered Person template?
/u/TheGodofSmallThingss
Created: Thu Dec 24 22:37:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y5moq/how_do_you_not_fit_the_stereotypical_eating/
---
Like, thanks, magazines and TV, we get it. Weā€™re all sad, pale suburban fourteen-year-olds with controlling mothers and/or absent fathers, obsessed with fashion mag stick figures and Kate Moss, and only eating cottage cheese and iceberg lettuce.

On a less hyperbolic note, in what ways do you feel you somehow arenā€™t doing it *right*, doing it *how youā€™re supposed to* (nevermind that there is no one road everyone with an ED goes down)? Maybe things that make you go, ā€œI canā€™t have a *real* eating disorder; I do X.ā€

I just thought maybe we could share them so we donā€™t feel so damn alone in our insecurities. Sure, Iā€™m underweight, but Iā€™m not really eating-disordered, right? I eat high fat foods, even sometimes (gasp) bacon. I run, but not like a crazy amount. I really admire all you superhuman exercising machine people, seriously. My parents are lovely people who both have a bizarrely healthy relationship to food. We never even had a scale in our house. Oh, also, Iā€™m not white. So obviously itā€™s just plain impossible for *me* to have and ED.

And you?


[Help] Anxiety over Christmas dinner and a rant.
/u/hatepickingnamesuser [62.75 in. | 147 lbs | 27.03 | 39 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 24 21:31:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y5gtu/anxiety_over_christmas_dinner_and_a_rant/
---
I'm very confident I'm not the only one going through this so I'm just gonna rant about Christmas dinner.

I agreed to go to my friends house for Christmas dinner I want to spend time with everyone and be around my friends. But then tonight I was making recipes on mfp for the food I was bringing and overshooting calories for things I wasn't making. But every time I sit down to calculate I start sweating and getting anxious.
I feel so sick from worrying because how can I know I'm eating somewhere around 1000 without my food scale, & without knowing all the ingredients. I'm also trying to remind myself that if I don't eat "normally" my friends will probably look at me like I grew two heads.
What I'm about to say sounds mean but I sincerely promise that what I'm saying is not meant maliciously or hatefully. I couldn't care less what my friends weights are. I love them with all my heart but they are all in the obese range and are in no way shape or form restricting. So I'm worried that my helpings will look so small compared to theirs.
I'm trying to think of ways to say I don't want to eat without mention anything about calories. So far I have these excuses.

"My new adderall prescription makes me nauseous. I try taking my time eating so I don't end up feeling sick." That way I can go back for really small portion sizes numerous times and it looks like I'm eating more because of the number of plates I'm eating.

I have a small dinner planned later for me and my husband? Which is true and my husband never notices when I don't eat the whole day so he won't notice if I come home and don't eat dinner with him. Also he will be preoccupied with the men so if asked I will just say I snacked and ate all day with the girls.

I also plan to spread out the food on my plate in thin layers so it seems like a lot on my plate and have copious amounts of vegetables as snacks.
Please tell me anyone has better non suspicious lies to tell.

Also suggestions on how y'all estimate serving sizes without a scale would be greatly appreciated.
Thank y'all so much.

[Help] Ephedrine in Canada?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 24 21:20:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y5fun/ephedrine_in_canada/
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[removed]

[Discussion] I may look disgusting, but my ED obsessive thinking is worse (and has never recovered). Introduction? And looking to reconnect to old friends from Bluedragonfly if they exist.
/u/diaphanous_nihilist [5'7"|CW 162|HW 177|LW 108|GW 130|UGW 102|BMI 25.28|-15lbs|F]
Created: Thu Dec 24 15:39:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y4jwx/i_may_look_disgusting_but_my_ed_obsessive/
---
Hi there. I wish I knew this sub existed before, perhaps I wouldn't be so f-ing huge right now.

I'm ancient (compared to probably most of you ^(^I'm ^33...) ) and used to chat on a **(very old)** ED site called Bluedragonfly. Hoping to connect to others who can relate, and have let themselves go but still want to get on track. And possibly reconnect with some old friends.

If anyone here is a former BDFer, I used to chat there pretty regularly from like 2002-2005, pretty sure it shut down around then or there was this other weird chat that someone set up but didn't gain any popularity.

My chat name was jolie or sometimes jolie82 or some goofy ass html sparkle shit: ~~*~~jolie~~*~~ lol.

I was close with Vamps/Vampy, SexyRexy or Rexy_is_God (Jen), Daluka, FatbottomGirl, I think LaurenButterfly or at least Lauren (?) Heart, juwlz, bizzy, resq_me, canadianana, and sadsilence (I can't quite remember the exact name, but you only spoke in emoticons--miss you the most, if you're here)

I'm not sure how this place works, so I've been reading the sidebar and such, and hoping to get involved with the weeklies to keep myself accountable. I've recently been able to stop endlessly stuffing myself thanks to my recent discovery of ADHD (which I actually **do** have) and my prescription for Adderall.

I am pretty active on the ADHD sub, but I'm sure most of those folks would freak if they knew I was posting on proED--so I created a permanent-throwaway (if that makes *any* sense lol--did I mention my ADHD?) for here.

Jesus freaking christ, adderall is the best thing I have ever taken. It helps me focus *and* I don't feel hungry like all fucking day. I've been able to be successful with intermittent fasting for like 3 days fast/1 day restriction ~ 500cals or so. I've lost 14lbs since Dec. 1st--so a little over 3 weeks?

**Note**- (*not advocating everyone fake ADHD to get a script for Adderall, just noting my personal success with it. Also, getting diagnosed is NOT easy and usually takes several months*)

I just want to be skinny like I used to be, even though I know I'll still hate body just as much.

*edit - grammar*

[Discussion] Happy Holidays!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 24 15:02:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y4frl/happy_holidays/
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What's everyone doing for Christmas? This is usually a sad time for me, but I really like Christmas so I'm going to make myself enjoy it or else. I think we're having people over tomorrow. I hope there will be dessert. >:|

[Goal] [NSV] No binging.
/u/ohwaitiforgot [170cm | 49.7kg| 17.6| TransF]
Created: Thu Dec 24 10:46:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y3mor/nsv_no_binging/
---
Went into Wally-World the other day without leaving with 2 pints of B&J and subsequently stuffing myself sick. Haven't done that in weeks. I was even able to walk down the ice-cream isle, look at my binge food of choice with a sense of superiority, and walk away. Felt good.

Working in a kitchen late into the morning (2-3am isn't unheard of) has been its own set of hurdles, but I haven't left with left-over food for several days. I hope I can keep it up.

I've been pounding water, buttered coffee, and ephedrine. The meds might be giving me a false sense of control with the satiety factor, but I'll take it in any form i can get it. Hopefully if I can get a few weeks of no sugar under my belt I can forgo the cravings better.

I want to thank this sub for providing a place to vent/rant/not feel judged. It hasn't been that long since my last binge, and I haven't been back in this sub long, but posting here keeps me sane knowing others are seeing my daily numbers and weekly status updates.

I can lie to myself in private, but knowing I need to post here and on the binge free spreadsheet keeps me honest.

A small tip that might work for others: by posting my calories and binge-free early on in the day, it keeps me from cheating since I know others have seen it and I don't want my post edited.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 24, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 24 09:02:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y3b4h/daily_food_diary_december_24_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 24, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Just ordered a food scale!
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Thu Dec 24 08:46:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y39ga/just_ordered_a_food_scale/
---
It should be here in time for the new year, so my cooking can be calorie-accurate! I'm excited.

Who else uses a food scale (I've seen it talked about a lot)? Any tips/tricks/how do you use yours?

Thanks lovelies šŸ˜Š

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support December 24, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 24 05:02:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y2qfx/weekly_emotional_support_december_24_2015/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to /u/InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Discussion] Is anyone else torn at their ideal body look?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 24 01:23:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y2bmj/is_anyone_else_torn_at_their_ideal_body_look/
---
I know I want to be thin. But that's a pretty vague statement.

I see so many pictures of wonderful women and they're all so different and I love them all. Do I want to be waif-ish or powerful or delicate or thin hips or curves?

There is no one single idea of the perfect body for me. I'm so torn and it makes getting to my UGW even more stressful because I simply don't know what my body will look like. It's also a bit interesting because it's like a a lottery of which I'll get.

I always look at my inspo pics and can never settle quite on one solid goal. I've also been watching a lot of old Hollywood movies and these women were just amazing.

As of this moment I want to look graceful yet powerful. Give off the air of dominance while being as gentle as possible. I know it's not just body, but clothes and personality as well.

It's just another part of that 20s 'figuring out who you are' phase and it's driving me insane right now.

[Help] :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 24 00:35:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y27xf/_/
---
[removed]

[Help] Help with antidepressants?
/u/flyleafet9
Created: Wed Dec 23 23:24:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y219f/help_with_antidepressants/
---
So I am starting on antidepressants (like today). I know that there is the possibility of weight gain, which honestly terrifies me. Has anyone else dealt with this? Any tips? On a somewhat similar note, some of the other listed side affects include dizziness and fatigue which I already deal with nearly every day. Would the medication even be worth it at this point?

[Discussion] Two different but similar challenges. Calorie restriction and half-marathon training.
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Wed Dec 23 21:29:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y1ov4/two_different_but_similar_challenges_calorie/
---
So, one reason I have been able to get away with binge eating several times a week and still lose weight is because I run 15-20 miles a week currently in attempts to train for my first half-marathon.

I am struggling in both of my different goals because of this though.

I think I eat too little to make gains in my long distance runs. My body literally feels like it's breaking down after 4-5 miles. I keep pushing it until every part of my legs hurt (Usually Achilles tendinitis pains, calf pains, hip pains, sometimes knee pain.)

By the end of the run my legs are very injured. I usually take the next day off and I try again the next time. I have recently only had one 4 mile jog (easy one) that didn't leave me in pain...

So, I guess I am just asking for opinions. /r/running says eating more will lead to distance gains and less injury.

I think I need to stop binge eating (obviously...) and start more eating healthier calories again to fuel my workouts so I can conquer this half marathon. :/

The only good news is that it's coming up late January and once I am done I can focus on diet only more...I am terrified to do it but I want to accomplish something with running.

Any suggestions on how many calories I should eat? 1500-1600 sounds like so much for a daily intake.

[Thinspo] Blocked from the thinspo pages? Anyone else?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 23 20:24:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y1i1v/blocked_from_the_thinspo_pages_anyone_else/
---
[removed]

[Help] How to use the bathroom?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 23 19:14:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y1a83/how_to_use_the_bathroom/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] My tiny grandmother complimented my figure today!
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 23 19:09:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y19ob/my_tiny_grandmother_complimented_my_figure_today/
---
As I was walking through the living room, my grandmother observed that I was looking very svelte, and had been looking so lately.
This grandmother is and always has been tiny and elegant, so I was ecstatic to hear this. I'm finally feeling like I might have a body worth living in <3

[Goal] New Year fast. Start at 12AM January 1, 2016, go for as long as you can. Whose with me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 23 18:26:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y14xx/new_year_fast_start_at_12am_january_1_2016_go_for/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Do any of you have negative feelings towards overweight people?
/u/azureking32123
Created: Wed Dec 23 17:49:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y10m6/do_any_of_you_have_negative_feelings_towards/
---
I personally don't struggle with an ED but I have a friend that does and I have been trying to research EDs more. I'm just wondering if having an ED gives you a negative opinion of people that are larger than you or overweight. I know not everyone will have the same opinion so I am curious. Thank you!

How do you guys deal with people making derogatory comments?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 23 17:20:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y0x0i/how_do_you_guys_deal_with_people_making/
---
[deleted]

Boyfriend is taking me out for sushi- unplanned and I'm feeling awful about it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 23 17:10:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y0vxp/boyfriend_is_taking_me_out_for_sushi_unplanned/
---
[deleted]

Ribs today
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 23 16:35:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y0rit/ribs_today/
---
[removed]

[Tip] How to get rid of suspicion after purging
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 23 14:19:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y0agm/how_to_get_rid_of_suspicion_after_purging/
---
Assuming that you don't cough when you purge because that's a giveaway, the sound of you purging is going to sound sort of like someone having diarrhea. Therefore, if someone is listening, they're going to either think diarrhea or vomitting. In order to convince them of the former, spray liquid ass or some other similar shit smelling prank liquid.

Then if someone is waiting outside (like your mom), be a little embarrass and say sorry it smells gross.

This also works as a justification of why you flushed twice or whatever.

This sounds a little ridiculous, but believe it or not, this is one of the best ways to convince people you were not just purging. Even if they think you were and you coughed and gagged, if it smells like shit later, they're not going to think you were puking.

[Discussion] Cold!!!
/u/wishfulthinkings
Created: Wed Dec 23 14:08:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y08wj/cold/
---
Can we talk about how cold you are?

I'm so freaking cold, all the time. Particularly in the office. I wear leggings under my jeans and thermal thermal shirts under my blouses topped with cardigans and I'm still cold!

[Tip] Eat the same thing every day
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 23 13:50:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y06ko/eat_the_same_thing_every_day/
---
Ok, this will mostly only work if you live alone

This is about discipline more than anything. If you eat the same thing every day, you're going to risk messing up less because you'll *know* that what you're eating is okay or not okay.

This has honestly been the way I've broken out of my binge purge cycle. Eat the same thing every day. Make your calorie counts conservative. Be reasonable. If your BMI is 25+, don't restrict to under 500. It's more than likely not going to work out for you.

Aim to have enough calories that you feel at least a 7/10 in terms of focus. This may vary. Remember that just because you feel a 9/10 on the first day doesn't mean that you'll feel 9/10 on the 5th.

Do something that you can maintain. Ask yourself if you can keep this up for the rest of your life, if you can't then stop because you're going to binge eventually.

You will always lose weight regardless of how small your deficit is as long as you're at a deficit. You're better off doing the "healthy" 1 lb per week than you are by losing 4 lb a week for 3 weeks then epically binging it all back.

[Help] scale not working right - could it be slightly off-level floors?
/u/un_done [5'10" | 159 | 22.7 | -35 | F ]
Created: Wed Dec 23 13:19:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3y02hi/scale_not_working_right_could_it_be_slightly/
---
i moved house recently and for the last couple of weeks my apparent weight has been all over the place. fluctuating a couple of pounds a day with no real downward movement despite restricting pretty hard.

today i jumped on and couldn't believe what i saw, so i took my scale out of it's usual spot and tried somewhere else. completely different number. i moved it again, different number.

either my scale is kaput, or my new house does not have a perfectly flat surface to weigh on. the floors downstairs are all tiled and seem level to the eye, is it possible there's small variations that can affect things this much? or is it more likely to be my scale? i can't remember when i last changed the battery, could that be it?

ugh sorry, i'm freaking out a bit just not having any idea what my real weight is, and scared that if it is because of the wonky floors in my house i won't ever have a way of reliably weighing at home.

help!!

[Discussion] I feel like I'm a bad person...
/u/bonedust_pale [5'|GW 94.5|-49.9|F]
Created: Wed Dec 23 12:35:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xzwg9/i_feel_like_im_a_bad_person/
---
I have been fantasizing about what it would be like to live on my own, fantasizing about my husband being away more often. I'm deeply in love with him, but he takes care of me TOO MUCH! He started asking me what I'd had to eat during the day, and keeping an inventory of some foods, so he can see whether I'm lying about eating or not. (I try not to eat during the day at all, and have dinner with him to seem fine.)

In my fantasies, I live alone and only eat a few safe foods. My fridge is filled with low fat greek yogurt and blueberries, my counter has just rice cakes, tuna, and water bottles on it. I stop eating anything I feel bad about, because it simply won't be there at all. I'd sew, drink tea, and listen to music all day when not at work.

When he goes away on business trips, I fast for the days he's gone...I LOVE IT! I feel free. I would NEVER leave him... I just sometimes wish I could eat or not eat anything I want. I wish I didn't have to see his food and him eating. I wish he'd be okay with us not eating dinner together.

Anyone else ever want this? Am I an asshole for wanting my husband at a distance? How can I approach him about this so it doesn't scare him, but helps me get more freedom?

[Discussion] Random Survey... What kind of sale do you use? Post pics!
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 160.4 | 29.34 | -14.6 | Female]
Created: Wed Dec 23 11:13:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xzl45/random_survey_what_kind_of_sale_do_you_use_post/
---
http://imgur.com/8jxuLbC

[Help] The voice of Ana
/u/KgcS [168 cm | 48 kg | 17.01 | 7 kg since March (Total = unknown) | F]
Created: Wed Dec 23 10:54:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xzi8q/the_voice_of_ana/
---
Hi,

I know this sounds kind of crazy, but I used to get a lot of strength from reading the letters of Ana or listening to the voice of Ana online/on youtube. It made me feel like I had the power to continue and like I was actually being held accountable by somebody if I binged or screwed up otherwise...

However, I started knowing them by heart and I don't get that feeling anymore. I really need something to replace it with... Something I could turn to when I want to Quit, something to tell me what to do, something to yell at me when I fail... Does anybody know a solution? (Not a buddy)

(sorry english is not my native language)
xoxo


EDIT: I changed it because appearently I was dissobeying the "No Buddy Rule"! I'm soooooo super sorry about it!!! English is not my first language and I swear I wasn't aware! I sincerely hope it's okay now? Sorry!!!!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 23, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 23 09:02:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xz3ff/daily_food_diary_december_23_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 23, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


59 kg, 170 cm, am I fat?
/u/electille [5'7 | 123 | 19.2 | ?]
Created: Wed Dec 23 08:30:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xyzg8/59_kg_170_cm_am_i_fat/
---
http://imgur.com/UlZ2RgM

[Help] Seeing my doctor today (for non-ED related reasons)
/u/Lady_Justice_ [5'11 1/4" | 126.1 | 16.88| -22 | MtF]
Created: Wed Dec 23 07:52:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xyup5/seeing_my_doctor_today_for_noned_related_reasons/
---
Last time I was in about 6 weeks ago, I think I weighed in at 158 (gross I know). They weight you fully clothed; this morning I was 131.8 so I'll probably come in at 135. I'm also currently taking Bronkaid as an appetite killer (thanks to someone on this sub).

Anyway, I'm seeing him about blood pressure, and plan to mention autophony during physical activity while I'm there, which I'm pretty sure is caused by [Patulous Eustachian tube](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patulous_Eustachian_tube) from my weight loss. I already sort of know his first suggestion is going to be to gain weight after seeing how much I've lost, which I'll recoil at the thought of, naturally.

Anyway, I'm at a loss for how to handle it. I also have no idea how to justify me taking Bronkaid, but I do plan on mentioning it since I feel it would be irresponsible of me to be taking a medication and not tell them. They know I take spironolactone and estradiol (my HRT for being trans) so it's not like admitting I'm taking Bronkaid is a big deal. That said I don't want to admit that I'm taking it for an appetite suppressant. I honestly don't even know what it's normally for, maybe I should look that up?


Edit/update: I mentioned having a cold and that I still had the hearing issue and was taking Bronkaid for it. He gave exactly 0 fucks, didn't comment on my weight, and gave me a prescription for Flonase after poking a light into my ears to see if they were plugged up or not (they're not).

That was a lot less stressful than I anticipated, lol.

[Rant] I hate everything
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 116.6 | 19.63 | -39.4 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 23 07:42:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xytmw/i_hate_everything/
---
I wanted to do flawlessly in the days leading up to Christmas because I know I'm going to be tempted with so much shit. But I'm such a failure. I've been eating cookies and other disgusting sweets every day. My skin is breaking out from the sugar so I look horrible. I almost had a successful day yesterday, all I ate was wonton soup. But when I had the last of it for dinner, I just kept eating it, even though I was full. There was no reason for me to keep eating. I should have just thrown the rest of it away. I purged and only got a pathetic amount up. But I'm such a failure at purging that I fucked up my throat. I'm still coughing up blood this morning. I popped a shit ton of blood vessels in the skin around my eyes, and my eyes were so puffy they were almost swollen shut. So of course I look fucking awful today. And to top that all off, I was so pissed at my failure to purge that I went and binged. Because that makes sense, right? I think if I'm honest I had 1400 calories yesterday. Disgusting. I hate myself so much, and I'm desperately trying not to cry because I have 8 hours left at work and I can't be seen this way. I don't deserve sympathy because I did this to myself, I just need to let it out. I feel like I've let everyone here down as well. You all are doing so well. Don't do what I'm doing. Don't fuck up like me.

[Help] Haven't lost in 5 days?
/u/tinybites [5"6 | 171 | 27.60 | -15 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 23 07:21:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xyr9p/havent_lost_in_5_days/
---
I've been doing so good but I'm starting to lose motivation and can feel a binge coming. I lost 10 pounds in a week and after that I haven't been able to lose a pound in 5 days and it's making me so frustrated. I've tried fasting, I've tried upping my calories for a day, nothing works. Help?

[Discussion] Lady"of size" taking Personal Responsibility (found on r/fatlogic)
/u/TheManyArchetypes [5'6.5"|150lbs|23.85|-58|F]
Created: Wed Dec 23 06:39:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xyms0/ladyof_size_taking_personal_responsibility_found/
---
https://youtu.be/bZXI_DEkv9M

[Thinspo] I'd kill for that thigh gap
/u/iwinarguments
Created: Wed Dec 23 03:26:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xy6cz/id_kill_for_that_thigh_gap/
---
https://i.imgur.com/fY8PLuo.jpg

[Goal] Just finished this illustration, didn't eat in the process of making it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 23 02:05:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xy01u/just_finished_this_illustration_didnt_eat_in_the/
---
http://i.imgur.com/wJ9hn5D.jpg

[Discussion] How do you handle what fasting does to your sinuses / headaches?
/u/Chaseshaw
Created: Wed Dec 23 00:53:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xxuk4/how_do_you_handle_what_fasting_does_to_your/
---
just that. my not-eating-headaches aren't migraine level, but they sure make the whole day go a lot worse. anyone else here sensitive to these? what do you to get through it?

[Thinspo] An album I made of some of my favourite images
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 23 00:11:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xxr0n/an_album_i_made_of_some_of_my_favourite_images/
---
http://imgur.com/a/IEbKm

[Rant] Fucking piece of trash (lotsa f-bombs)
/u/lord_pterodactyl
Created: Tue Dec 22 22:38:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xxi36/fucking_piece_of_trash_lotsa_fbombs/
---
I fucking hate holidays. I fucking hate how everything revolves around food. Why do we need food to celebrate holidays? Why is everything about food? Fuck off with the food.

I have so many fucking Christmas parties to attend in just seven days. There's food everywhere. I have ZERO control around food. Food fucking controls my life. If I don't eat, people will be like "Why aren't you eating? What's wrong? Eat this. Try this. Have some of this, you'll like it. It jiggles and the ingredients are questionable, and I have no idea if the person who cooked it washed their hands prior. But eat this." If I eat only a bit, people will be like "There's so much left over, eat more. Here, lemme pile a bunch of shitty high calorie SHIT that you don't even FUCKING LIKE on your plate. Eat it, pls."

THIS IS WHY I GOT FAT IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU DICKS WOULD NOT LET ME STOP EATING WHEN I WANTED TO. THIS IS WHY I STILL HAVE PROBLEMS WITH FOOD.

And I'm trying to look nice for all these parties I have. I look like fucking garbage in every fucking thing I put on. There's fat on every inch of my disgusting body and I hate it. I'm so fat in everything I wear. I shouldn't even bother trying to dress nice because it won't fucking happen. I will never look as gorgeous as my cousins or my mom. People are so surprised when they find out that I'm my mother's daughter because she's so beautiful and well dressed, and I'm this nasty homeless-looking monster. Everyone looks so nice in their holiday clothes and I look like somebody squeezed Jabba the Hutt in a size 0.

[Discussion] UPDATE: Guys my dog came back!
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 22:19:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xxg0i/update_guys_my_dog_came_back/
---
You guys have no idea how happy I am right now! Not five minutes ago I heard what sounded like a puppy whining and thought "eh that's probably a dog down the street". But I figured it wouldn't hurt to go look. Well, I opened the door and bam! My baby, Ricky, jumps in and runs around me with his tail wagging like he hasn't seen me in years!
I didn't even know what to do I was so shocked! All I could muster was my boyfriend's name. He was asleep and that woke him up and now we're all happy campers Cx
I feel like a five year old who just Christmas from grandma. Thank you guys for keeping me positive about all of this. Otherwise I would have felt so alone and hopeless.

[Discussion] How many of your ribs can you see?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -19 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 21:51:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xxczi/how_many_of_your_ribs_can_you_see/
---
If I arch my back just right I can see five on each side.

[Discussion] My 600 pound life.
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 21:29:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xxajx/my_600_pound_life/
---
Just came across my 600 pound life on Hulu. I think this could be good inspiration. Do any of you guys watch shows like this for that reason?

[Discussion] What's an average day for you look like, food wise?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 18:59:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xwswi/whats_an_average_day_for_you_look_like_food_wise/
---
I want to see how all of our days compare, in general.

I tend to have 900-1150cals on days I am not fasting (OR BINGING UG). Personally, I start almost every day with a small bowl of oatmeal seasoned with cinnamon and fruit or seeds, a cup of coffee with vegan milk of some sort.

I don't generally eat a traditional lunch. I will have anything from a granola bar, nothing, a plain bagel, or just a latte.

For dinner, lately, I have been having a beer and some salty/savory food. Today I had a vegan pizza I made myself (250 calories per serving!)

[Rant] I just binged for the first time in 2 months
/u/frztl [5'11" | 162 | 22.6 | -? | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 18:42:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xwqth/i_just_binged_for_the_first_time_in_2_months/
---
It's been almost 2 months since I've binged over 1500 calories. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what came over me. I feel *awful*. I had a lot of brie cheese, half a huge link of smoked sausage (I don't even know how to calculate the calories for that, it's homemade), 2 mangos, a persimmon, and like 5 homemade cookies. The cookies are the worst for me because I made them! I know all the awful, excessive ingredients in them. I put in endless butter and sugar, it's so nauseating.

It's not even the calories, it's the lack of control. For the first time in a very long time I felt like I was finally getting something right in my life, that I was in control, and if nothing else this was okay. It feels like all that was for nothing. I know I'm probably over-dramatizing it all but I feel so helpless. I've ruined it all. In terms of control, I feel like I'm back to square one. It's exasperating.



Digital vs Analog scale accuracy?
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 141 | 25.67 | -39 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 17:25:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xwh7g/digital_vs_analog_scale_accuracy/
---
I'm at my parents house for the holidays and they only have an analog scale and I usually use a digital scale at my home. Which should I trust more? I've been home for 5 days so far and it's saying that I've lost 5 pounds?!? since I've been here - and I checked everyday. Should I trust the analog scale or just restrict without checking the scale and hope it all works out when I get home?

Also, how can I make sure that my digital scale at my home is giving me an accurate weight?

[Discussion] How do you style your hair?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 17:22:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xwguv/how_do_you_style_your_hair/
---
I have shoulder-length thick wavy red hair. I usually let it air dry after showers then throw it on top of my head in a loose bun thing and hold it together with a couple claw clips. It's just the right amount of messy-looking and it works for me.

[Discussion] What do you do to remind yourself to restrict/fast?
/u/frztl [5'11" | 162 | 22.6 | -? | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 17:11:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xwfiw/what_do_you_do_to_remind_yourself_to_restrictfast/
---
Usually, I'll just write an "f" somewhere. I also used to have a ring that that was quite tight and annoying which served as a decent reminder.

[Discussion] My sense of smell is increasing..?
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 16:45:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xwc3h/my_sense_of_smell_is_increasing/
---
I have a cup of Jasmine green tea by Numi (Holy shit, I fucking love that tea) and it smells like flowers in my room. It isn't overwhelming, just subtle and lovely. It's like when my stomach is empty, I'm more aware of my other senses.

How do you fast?
/u/amidala12
Created: Tue Dec 22 16:13:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xw7xp/how_do_you_fast/
---
Sometimes I'll do a strict water only fast, some days I'll do liquid and have light broths and diet sodas or even some juices. Usually I'll do a strict water only fast until right before bed I'll have a few shots of vodka with a 5 cal juice to chase:D I also sometimes fast just when I feel crappy, and some times I'll fast several days a week just because I feel good:) how do you fast?

[Discussion] Community Introductions!
/u/caribblue [5'6 | 144.4 | 22-3ish | -14 | Frat princess]
Created: Tue Dec 22 14:06:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xvq42/community_introductions/
---
Hey y'all, I thought it would be cool if we all put our intros in one thread for easy reference. Maybe even sidebar this if it gets popular, mods would that be a good idea? I'll start in the comments. :)

[Thinspo] I like to pepper in some quotes with my thinspo for added motivation :)
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 160.4 | 29.34 | -14.6 | Female]
Created: Tue Dec 22 14:05:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xvpz3/i_like_to_pepper_in_some_quotes_with_my_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/i5J5b

[Discussion] Vacation & ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 22 13:18:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xvj2m/vacation_ed/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Google number holiday (and any time) text help group idea
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 11:41:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xv4qz/google_number_holiday_and_any_time_text_help/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] I hesitate to tag this as [thinspo] because she has recovered/is currently pro-recovery. Amalie Lee (instagram: @amalielee) Picture from 2012.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 11:28:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xv2uh/i_hesitate_to_tag_this_as_thinspo_because_she_has/
---
http://i.imgur.com/djmXmc5.jpg

[Tip] Whoever recc'd YouTuber Blogilates, THANK YOU!
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 10:30:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xuu86/whoever_reccd_youtuber_blogilates_thank_you/
---
Omg, I did not think I would feel a 6-minute workout the next day, but my ass is sore from that booty workout! Love it! I also started sweating, in under ten minutes, I was sweating. I also love her attitude and cheerfulness, she's great! This lady is awesomeness, thank you!

And if you didn't see the recc before, totally check Blogilates out!

Another YouTube recc that I use, more for calming, meditation, and stretching, is pychetruth.

Any more YouTube workout recc's? What are you loving rn?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 22, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 22 09:02:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xuhl3/daily_food_diary_december_22_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 22, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] Feeling cautiously optimistic...
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 160.4 | 29.34 | -14.6 | Female]
Created: Tue Dec 22 05:29:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xtttc/feeling_cautiously_optimistic/
---
So I've been restricting much more and binge/purging significantly less, plus going to the gym more (not as much as I should though still), and I'm finally getting some results! I have been stuck in this terrible cycle and have lost and gained back the same ten pounds like three times, so I wanted to post here to sort of hold myself more accountable. If it's on the internet, I need to live up to it, right? lol.

I have been successfully fighting the urge to binge all week, and especially yesterday when I wanted to "reward" myself for the weight loss (yes, I see how this is ironic and self-defeating)... But weighing myself this morning made me so glad I stayed strong and didn't give in! Now to make it through holiday meals with family...


I'll update in another ten pounds (soon, I hope!!).

[Discussion] So nervous about going home for the holidays
/u/wannabeamermaid [5'3 | 112 | 20.4 | -18 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 22 03:38:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xtkpt/so_nervous_about_going_home_for_the_holidays/
---
I'm getting really nervous about being home and having to eat around my family. They want to take me out to restaurants a lot and make lots of big, home cooked meals. And because I've moved out of the country, they want to stuff me with all the good food from home. I'm going to gain weight and lose the progress that I've made. I'll probably end up purging a lot and I really don't want to. Is anyone else stressed about this?

[Thinspo] Teeny tiny legs make my heart flutter
/u/MollyCupcake
Created: Tue Dec 22 01:35:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xtb63/teeny_tiny_legs_make_my_heart_flutter/
---
http://imgur.com/W5WDxRd

[Rant] Feeling really ashamed of my ED right now.....
/u/amidala12
Created: Tue Dec 22 01:21:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xta4z/feeling_really_ashamed_of_my_ed_right_now/
---
So was looking at my old posts and I posted a couple times to different weight loss subreddits (r/loseit, r/nutrition etc..) over the past year or so that really made me feel ashamed of my ED for the first time. I had bought a burrito in a moment of weakness and threw it away, they all said i was wasteful and disordered. I felt good for fasting on thanksgiving and i should be thankful for the healthy options I could have eaten and again, I'm disordered. I even just posted asking what people ate as near zero cal snacks to stave off cravings and was again meet with negative comments about how near-zero cal snacks are usually unhealthy and lead to unhealthy habits and "mindsets" like "anorexic thinking". I know my ED may one day be very unhealthy, and I'm honestly almost ok with that. These comments just made me feel a little selfish and self consumed. Is this a disease only stricken by the privileged few? Everytime I refuse to eat and indulge is that an insult to those who don't have the option? I feel so small.....and not in the way I normally want.

[Discussion] How do you guys handle cooking for other people?
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 201lbs | 36 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 23:47:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xt1n1/how_do_you_guys_handle_cooking_for_other_people/
---
So I am expected (rightfully so, considering our schedules) to cook dinner most of the time for my boyfriend and I. What are your favorite recipes that can be tweaked (e.g. lettuce wrap tacos for me and tortillas for him) so I look like I'm eating the "same" meal? Or low cal recipes that are super filling so he can eat a lot and I can eat only a little but it looks like a lot? I have to cook for his family on Christmas too... Suuuuper nervous. I know similar questions have been posted before but the sub is so much more active now I figured I'd ask again :p

[Discussion] I just had the best dream about this sub/thanks everyone for the support!
/u/Journeytothin [5'6 | 129.9 | 21.0 | f]
Created: Mon Dec 21 23:19:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xsyrz/i_just_had_the_best_dream_about_this_subthanks/
---
It's 1 AM & I can't stop laughing and I'm still exceptionally tired. But.

In my dream, I was in a very crowded movie theater, the lights dim and no movie actually playing. There was a lot of chatter and I was able to pick up on words like "fasting," "thinspo," and "fuck." I guess we're an explicit group. Anyway, so one of the employees came in with a HUGE box of chocolates for us, and we all were like what the fuck dude? And panic struck the room and there was a frenzy because we all didn't want it so everyone started chanting "NO. NO. NO. NO. NO." until he ran out of the room with the chocolates. Of course, lots of cheering and applause followed. The end.

If only I could have you all chanting NO behind me at holiday parties....but my subconscious appreciates your support nonetheless. Thanks for being such a welcoming and helpful bunch that it's apparent even in my very weird, yet amusing, dreams. O <3

[Thinspo] The Incomparable Audrey Hepburn
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 124lbs | 19.37 | -41lbs| F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 22:46:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xsv96/the_incomparable_audrey_hepburn/
---
http://imgur.com/a/BnTZh

[Discussion] Can I have healthy hair at a low bmi?
/u/AnaplasmosisEbola [5'2 | 98 | 17.9| -10 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 21:23:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xslr4/can_i_have_healthy_hair_at_a_low_bmi/
---
I eat very healthy on the paleo diet (lots of grassfed local meats, some grass fed butter, no grains, no dairy, no refined sugar, nothing cooked in vegetable oils, lots of seasonal greens and fruits) and have thick curly hair at a bmi of around 18.2. I want to try to get to a bmi of about 16.5, but am worried about any hair thinning or hair loss.

I eat frequently, but in small amounts and try to avoid any potential damage from any fasting or high restrictions. When my weight drops will my hair thin no matter what or will I be able to keep it healthy? I also eat wild caught fish instead of taking any supplements as I try to get most of my nutrients and vitamins from whole foods. Thanks!

[Discussion] Anyone else...
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Mon Dec 21 21:11:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xskbz/anyone_else/
---
...starting a fast at the stroke of midnight January 1st just to see how long you can say "I haven't eaten *all year*" or is that just me?

[Thinspo] some of my male thinspo folder
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 21 20:51:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xshyd/some_of_my_male_thinspo_folder/
---
http://imgur.com/a/LD3oS

[Rant] binged on the first day of my "no binge week"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 21 20:14:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xsddg/binged_on_the_first_day_of_my_no_binge_week/
---
so pathetic. i dont even want to know how many cookies i ate what a disaster. i usually have more self control than this i just wanted to see if i could go an entire straight week without binging or purging and somehow i immediately fucked that up

i cant purge right now either cause theres people around and im kind of bad at being quiet when i purge so its not even worth the risk. i feel like its almost a good thing cause i need to stop thinking of purging as an option but its really scary to not be able to fix it

i also shaved my pits today and they burn now so basically fuck today entirely


i guess its not too late to turn it into a "no binge 6 days" but still im feeling like a fucking lard right now please murder me


[Rant] Hubby won't touch me = the ultimate thinspo. Prbly nfsw.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 21 20:02:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xsbzj/hubby_wont_touch_me_the_ultimate_thinspo_prbly/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Really Upset About Not Being Able to Purge
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 18:20:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xrz78/really_upset_about_not_being_able_to_purge/
---
As much as I try. I only get some spittle. I only try once every few months when I'm feeling really, really low and I'm always left feeling disappointed, fat, and like a failure.
I mostly am content sticking to restricting but some days I just feel like so much ass and want everything out of my body and it can't happen. Fuckfuck.

I'm sorry for ranting about something a lot of you struggle with. I didn't even binge today I just hate myself.

[Help] HOW DO I STOP BINGING
/u/ycuI [5'2 | 104 | 19.89 | -31 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 17:49:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xrv9y/how_do_i_stop_binging/
---
It's driving me insane, I've been binging for 2 months. Sometimes I can eat for a couple days at maintenance or restrict a couple days, but I come up with an excuse and I just do it all over again. I haven't really gained much weight, but I haven't been losing either. Please help me

[Discussion] Realtalk about purging.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 21 17:27:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xrsfm/realtalk_about_purging/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Electric Kettle
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Mon Dec 21 17:15:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xrqu2/electric_kettle/
---
I was in Target today buying cleaning supplies because my freakin' landlords need everything tidy for the pest people they're sending in at 9am tomorrow and I happened upon [this](http://www.target.com/p/aroma-hot-h20-x-press-7-cup-stainless-steel-electric-kettle/-/A-13795316?ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=13795316&ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Appliances%2BShopping&adgroup=SC_Appliances&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9025755&gclid=Cj0KEQiA496zBRDoi5OY3p2xmaUBEiQArLNnK-KMCr1eM5JNFCo0gU8Vqjmnq8O6uYfjTGqpQvkH7f4aAgmH8P8HAQ&gclsrc=aw.ds).

It's an electric kettle which is just about the neatest thing. I can plug it in next to my computer so I don't have to go into the kitchen and be tempted any time I want a some tea. PLUS- all the tea is keeping me hydrated and sated. I'm probably going to take it back for a cheaper one. It was in the spot of the $9 one and I didn't notice until I got home that it was 24 dollars on the receipt but I'm definitely going to get another one (or keep this if I can't find another cheaper) as this is so awesome to have.

UPDATE: Replaced the 26 dollar one this morning for one that is 1/2 the price and boils water twice as quickly! Got [this](http://imgur.com/z5J7ar8) at Walmart for a little over 13 dollars!

[Goal] Bras Fit! non-scale victory
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 17:02:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xrp5r/bras_fit_nonscale_victory/
---
The cups in my daily wear bras were looking... Empty... So tonight I threw on one of my bras that i bought back in the summer, right before I gained the last 10 or so that made me too fat for them (and too fat for any semblance of acceptability in society).

And they fit! It's like buying new bras all over again! šŸ˜Š I'm trying on all my bras that I fattened out of, and a bunch of them fit!

Some are too small still, but that just means I have more when these get too big. (oh yeah, I have no problem with my boobs getting smaller, I'm a fan of smaller boobs on me)

Progress, even just baby steps, is so thrilling šŸ˜Š

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] Victoria's Secret Angels Lip Sync "Hands to Myself"
/u/Space-Punk
Created: Mon Dec 21 16:35:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xrlpt/thinspo_victorias_secret_angels_lip_sync_hands_to/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnqNvtHyWEY

[Discussion] Losing weight without counting calories?
/u/90lbs [66''| 116lbs | 18.8 | 0 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 16:31:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xrl5a/losing_weight_without_counting_calories/
---
When I was first hospitalized for anorexia I had never counted calories in my life. Now I do, but I can only do it for a few weeks before I crash and burn into a binge/purge cycle. I was thinking of trying to lose weight without calorie counting and was wondering if any of you here have had success with that.

[Discussion] Pants
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 15:49:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xrfcs/pants/
---
I really hate pants. I always wear some kind of skinny jeans, but they never fit properly. They're all good and fitting up until my waist, where they get too big. I always have to wear belts, no matter how high waisted the pants are. But belts usually give me a muffin top.

But the worst problem, after I wear them for a day, they get baggy. I'll have to wash them everyday so they won't go baggy on me (anyone else knows this?) but I don't have the time or money to wash my jeans everyday. Who even does that, tho? I get that with most of my jeans/pants. Anyone has another solutions for these things?

[Rant] Feeling pathetic (rant)
/u/crc10320 [5'1'' | 127 | - 53 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 15:16:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xraoy/feeling_pathetic_rant/
---
Ive been doing so well but lately I've had two big changes in my life. One, moving out of my parents to my own house and second, getting into a relationship. Living with my parents was temporary but it helped me lose 50 lbs in six months because I was able to concentrate on myself and stay out of the kitchen because I didn't cook. I was at right below 130 but now after a week or so on my own I'm up to 135.i worked for a month after plateuing getting under 130, it was such a struggle. Now I don't even know the point anymore I'm just going to be fat forever, I'm exhausted from counting calories and restricting. I have no control like I used to. I fucking hate my body. My bf loves it though, and I miss my freedom to restrict and fast in private. I just hate that there's no easy way to get the weight off. I've been thinking of fasting for 5 days, maybe I'll find my love of being hungry again. This fat is so disgusting, I don't even feel worth to be in this sub because yall are so beautiful. I'm sorry I'm just ranting, I just feel at such a low point, I don't want to spiral and gain more. What even worse is that I was sober for those six months but now I'm choosing to drink again. I swear all this weight is from beer and liquor, I would do well restricting then bam, 800 calories from alcohol and it just ruined my day. I love alochol and going to continue to drink. I hate all of this, I just want my control back.

[Discussion] What are you listening to today?
/u/Lemonaidelime
Created: Mon Dec 21 11:16:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xqbcz/what_are_you_listening_to_today/
---
I'd love to add some new music to my collection. I like EDM, synth pop, punk, noise, quiet indie what-have-you, rock, etc. Most things, basically.

Oh, and bonus if its ED-related haha, this being r/proED.

So...what's a song you listened to this morning / early afternoon?


[Rant] Trying to distract myself
/u/LillithSixx [5'9" | 142.8lbs. | 20.71 | -57.2lbs. | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 10:31:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xq4dk/trying_to_distract_myself/
---
I'm almost below 140 again, when I came close to giving up last night. I wanted pizza and hot chocolate, plus all the rest of the hummus and summer sausage. I've never been one to binge, but geez I think I almost did last night. I'm glad I didn't though, because I'm almost into the 130's again.

I can't believe how fat I've gotten. It's disgusting.

All that progress this week, but tonight I have a gamer group I hang out with every Monday, and they always have huge amounts of food around. I don't know what I'm going to do. I've already had a meltdown over the food I've eaten this week before the meetup. I'm really nervous about it, but I don't want to call it off because it's super fun.

EDIT: There's four of us and someone said we were like the cast of Steven Universe. They said I was Pearl. I love it :P Pearl is best Crystal Gem.

[Rant] Afraid to eat anything.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 10:23:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xq3ab/afraid_to_eat_anything/
---
Because I fucking broke a tooth this morning. Upside: no calories. Downside: the money it will cost to fix it.



**UPDATE:** I went back to the office where I had the filling done on that tooth and they fixed the tooth for free since the filling they done was < 5 years ago! So grateful because I definitely don't have the money to pay for emergency dental work.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 21, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 21 09:02:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xprm2/daily_food_diary_december_21_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 21, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] unreal
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 07:18:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xpe7x/unreal/
---
http://imgur.com/KCsancT

[Discussion] Does anyone else have a person they want desperately to notice them and worry?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 21 07:15:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xpdxu/does_anyone_else_have_a_person_they_want/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! December 21, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 21 05:03:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xp0n7/weekly_stats_update_december_21_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for December 21, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Intro, for the truly bored...
/u/FGWDQHQ [5'7" | 124lbs | 19.37 | -41lbs| F]
Created: Mon Dec 21 01:07:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xohd9/intro_for_the_truly_bored/
---
I was born enormous, a difficult birth, strangling myself and getting caught and nearly dying. My face is slightly off-kilter, this is due to being squashed in the birth process. I guess other people only subconsciously notice it but I am cursed with the knowledge that being fat made me ugly forever, without choice.

I grew up fast, like a beanpole, skinny, bony. I remember having a gap between my thighs and always having cold hands when we'd go to school on winter mornings. I didn't even think about my body, it just did what I wanted it to without second thought. Ah, the innocence of youth...

Bam, puberty, combined with quitting competitive swimming. I "filled out", which is to say I went up, 3 or 5 lbs a year, until by the end of high school I was solidly over 150, at 5'7". I looked and felt awful. I'd skip meals and then bings on whole bags of chips after school. I had no idea what a calorie was.

My toxic/co-dependent best friend in jr/sr high had anorexia when we were in the eighth grade or so. My mom has always been fat, always losing weight on this diet or that, and gaining back. My dad has had anorexic periods throughout his whole life. I had very weird ideas about weight loss.

Then, I found reddit loseit, sadly that's where I learned what a calorie was, found a running plan. Weighed in at 163, cried. Officially overweight, I don't know for how long or exactly what the highest was. But I started running, cleaned up my diet, got down to 149, plateaued like nobody's business.

I've always hated myself in fair measure, probably early in life stemming from inappropriate sexual experiences, but who knows. The weight loss plateau, when I was on average consuming 800 cals a day, drove me mad. I'd been casually more and more ok with throwing up from alcohol, which I did often, then started inducing myself to vomit if I even felt a little sick on alcohol, then began inducing vomiting sober.

From my former best friend's dalliance with such things, I knew about ED websites. I totally recognized in myself the symptoms and started going to forums almost exactly three years ago.

I've worked hard to stop purging, esp. since I live with my SO. I think it's just been twice since I "stopped" mid-january? Now I just try to restrict. This week was this first time I knew, deep down, that my goal was in the underweight category. buuuuut there's also a lot of weird new stress in my life so that could be it. (First time having a full-time job, coming round on 25, the SO's ex coming back to town (right before she left, she kissed him and offered him a bj which is so not ok I can't even, and I have NO idea how I'm going to face her... )) I sought help once but was told that throwing up every day is not a real problem so back into the shadows I went. The SO believes everything is a spectrum, even EDs, and if he heard me describing myself as having one he'd probably roll his eyes and be slightly worried. I don't know if my habits match a dsm diagnosis right now but my thoughts are just as toxic as ever, so....

anyway. here I am. Just trying to hate the space I take up a little less. low weight 121, current weight low 120s (don't currently own a scale), goal weight 111. hopefully this wall of text distracted somebody who came here to stop themselves from a binge, lol. be well, lovely earthlings

[Discussion] [Intro] Coming out of lurking!
/u/astr0zombie [5'7 | 140.6 lbs| 21.9 | -19.4lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 23:58:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xoayq/intro_coming_out_of_lurking/
---
Hi! I've been lurking for a few weeks now and I figured it was about time I join in :) I'm 23, I live in the United States with my boyfriend and I'm attending college for nursing.
Anyways, I've struggled with cycles of restricting heavily and binging since I was 14, and I've pretty much always had body image issues.
I'm currently down 10lbs and I'm looking to lose about 45 more. My UGW is 105lbs. I workout 3-5 days a week, take an EC stack, and try to eat as clean as possible (when I do eat).

I'm really bad at these but I just wanted to say hey and hopefully make some friends :D

PS I'm on mobile like 80% of the time so if I ever don't have flair- thats why ad I apologize in advance.

[Thinspo] Winter/Christmas Thinspo Album
/u/calorified
Created: Sun Dec 20 21:45:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xnx0f/winterchristmas_thinspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/SW5Hf

[Rant] Screw finals.
/u/KaKaKylie
Created: Sun Dec 20 21:23:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xnuiw/screw_finals/
---
I want to fast sooo bad. I tried for a couple of days but had to much head fog to study and need to do well on my finals; now I upped my intake to 800 a day and am running a couple of miles. I can't wait until the semester and the holidays are over so I can restrict and fast in peace!

Sorry for the rant, so stressed out about this right now.

[Rant] Every single time I visit my family
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 116.6 | 19.63 | -39.4 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 19:46:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xnj4b/every_single_time_i_visit_my_family/
---
https://imgflip.com/gif/nvb15

Drug habits
/u/mdthrowawayma [5'9 | 95lbs | 14.29 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 17:58:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xn5z6/drug_habits/
---
[removed]

[Help] Need to lose weight fast.
/u/Trayus9 [6'2 | 165 | 21.5 | -43 | M]
Created: Sun Dec 20 17:27:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xn26w/need_to_lose_weight_fast/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] I made a calculator app! Suggestions?
/u/skin_ny [5'9.5" | 113.6 | 16.19 | -44 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 17:19:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xn16z/i_made_a_calculator_app_suggestions/
---
I put this together in a few hours and I wanted y'all to let me know what you think. The code is very messy and it's not that pretty, but it's functional:

http://skinny.neocities.org/

Some things I was thinking of adding:

* lb/kg and in/cm conversion (if you input your weight in lbs, it will give you your weight in kg and vice versa)
* alternative options for calculating TDEE (Harris-Benedict equation, or the one that incorporates body fat %)
* better mobile compatibility (am considering making an iPhone/Android app...thoughts?)
* an second calculator that lets you enter your desired weight and planned caloric intake and activity level and tells you how long it should take to achieve
* make the projections for longer than 25 weeks (very, very easy to do)

I also definitely plan on improving it appearance-wise and if anyone has expertise in CSS and wants to help me fix it up, please PM me! I'm terrible at it and though I'm planning on making it prettier it's going to take me a lot more effort than I'd like.

I realize it's a lot like losertown but I really wanted to have a BMI calculator and weight projections in one place. Hope you all find this useful and *please* give me suggestions! I want to make this a resource that everyone can use, so I'd really like your input! :)


[Discussion] Shut up about my eating habits.
/u/allthatyouhave
Created: Sun Dec 20 17:04:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xmz7m/shut_up_about_my_eating_habits/
---
I cannot believe how people think it is necessary to comment on what/how other people eat. Anyone up for a discussion about this?

I fixed a large bowl of broth for dinner and she said "eating that won't help you lose weight, you know." >:| Neither will your nasty comments!

[Rant] "That shirt is way too small on you."
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -19 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 16:32:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xmv55/that_shirt_is_way_too_small_on_you/
---
"Your arms are too big for that."

"Why don't you suck your stomach in a bit more?"

"You should have gotten the medium."

Not for long, mom. I'll be thin enough someday, you'll see.

[Goal] Something changed, but for the better.
/u/SingForMaya [5'2" |108 | need to recalc | F, 23 | GW:90]
Created: Sun Dec 20 15:53:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xmpo8/something_changed_but_for_the_better/
---
I always kind of got trapped in a cycle of restricting and binging and my weight rapidly fluctuating by ~10 or 15 lbs depending on how I saw my body at that particular time.


Well, recently something has changed- not just in my body, but my view on food and my lifestyle and eating habits changed for the better and now I feel "full" even though I haven't eaten in 3 days.
It's the best and I don't feel hunger anymore and I'm already down 5 more pounds.

I don't know what shifted, mentally or physically, but I feel 1000x better and more comfortable in my own skin when I haven't eaten. The feeling is so much better than food.

[Discussion] Calling my UK sisters! Ephedrine in the UK: How the fuck?!
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 118.2lbs | 17.71 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 15:12:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xmk71/calling_my_uk_sisters_ephedrine_in_the_uk_how_the/
---
I've been looking everywhere and I cannae get my mitts on any! Anything ephedrine related requires a prescription and you can't get bronkaid/chesteze/ephedrine on Amazon or eBay! The only thing I could find was a very aggressive looking product which had 200mg of caffeine, a berry which is high in caffeine and 100mg of a plant that produces ephedrine which sounds way too much for my non-coffee-drinking anxiety-stricken self! Help a sister out?

[Rant] Residential treatment and lack of motivation to recover
/u/DietSodaAddict [5'6"|CW:108|LW:94|Male/NB]
Created: Sun Dec 20 15:11:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xmk5s/residential_treatment_and_lack_of_motivation_to/
---
Recently, I was forced into residential treatment at a well-known center by family and doctors. While I acquiesced, I just do not see the point of recovering.

I honestly enjoy having an eating disorder, and while it does make me suffer, there are more benefits to continuing with it than drawbacks.

[Thinspo] Random Instagram Inspo
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 118.2lbs | 17.71 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 13:00:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xm2ck/random_instagram_inspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/aX0ga

[Discussion] Multivitamin that can be taken on an empty stomach recommendations?
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 10:06:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xleof/multivitamin_that_can_be_taken_on_an_empty/
---
Long story short, my current multivitamin (that works like a dream normally) requires food to take it. I've taken it a couple of times on an empty stomach and that just makes me feel sick all day long, so obviously, it's a no go. I still want to have a multi for days when I'm fasting, I find that the vitamins help keep me clear headed and help with the fainting spells then just going in straight up. Do any of you lovelies have a multi that you know and love that can be taken on an empty stomach/during multi-day fasts? Any suggestions are super welcome ;D

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 20, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 20 09:02:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xl6eg/daily_food_diary_december_20_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 20, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] Today is day 6 of my fast - survived a family dinner w/o eating.
/u/Sknie
Created: Sun Dec 20 08:47:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xl4oc/today_is_day_6_of_my_fast_survived_a_family/
---
I still haven't eaten since Monday evening, and I feel awesome. Last night was my grandma's b-day party at my aunts house. She had a piano player, a photographer taking family portraits, individual portraits and candid pics of everyone and then a gourmet chef cater the food with appetizers, dinner and dessert.

I ate nothing. :) I was seated at the kids table (where all of us are basically young adults, lol - One 16 y/o girl, one 17 y/o boy and the rest of us range from 18 to 24) with an empty plate, and just chatted. One cousin asked, "aren't you getting food?" and all I had to say was "No, I'm not hungry and I really don't like to eat unless I feel hungry." At which point my stomach growled super fucking loud, but luckily I was sitting near the piano player. (thanks dude. Jingle Bell Rock sounds great. keep it up.) My girl cousins eat very little and are quite petite, so they were just like "Oh yeah, I get that, I'm the same way!" and that was that. It went so easily. I had decided already I was not going to eat, but I was just worried about people giving me a hard time about it. The only person who consistently kind of pushed was one of the catering ladies who kept offering me hor d'oeuvres and seemed slightly annoyed every time I said no. lol

I just wanted to share, because I'm super happy things went so smoothly and I have no one else to tell. I'm still taking it one day at a time, but I'm thinking I'll probably break my fast on Tuesday morning w/an apple mono.

Hope everyone is well and staying warm!

[Help] HELP ME!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 20 07:30:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xkw9u/help_me/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Coolsculpting
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 04:51:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xkjk6/coolsculpting/
---
http://fellrnr.com/wiki/CoolSculpting

[Discussion] Would anyone like to join me on a fast Monday until Christmas?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 03:59:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xkg0b/would_anyone_like_to_join_me_on_a_fast_monday/
---
I plan on having my last meal Sunday evening and then breaking the fast anytime Christmas Day. My family doesn't do holiday meals, so I'm not saving for anything.

I always feel guilty during Christmas because I can't get things for my family. I feel worse when the buy me things even when I say I don't need any gifts. Add on top of that feeling fat and horrible, so Christmas morning is very stressful. I feel much calmer and relaxed by day 3 of a fast and I need it this year. It gives me something positive to focus on.

I know a lot of people have Christmas dinners and wasn't sure if anyone wanted to join me even if they do a shorter or longer fast.



[Help] I feel dehydrated when restricting
/u/Lady_Justice_ [5'11 1/4" | 126.1 | 16.88| -22 | MtF]
Created: Sun Dec 20 01:21:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xk5y4/i_feel_dehydrated_when_restricting/
---
So I'm currently relapsing and while I'm happy with my progress, I've noticed that I've been feeling dehydrated a lot lately. I'm very physically active (I work as a hockey official so I'm burning calories on the job and work 10+ games per week or so, and I ride a bike or walk to and from the rinks since I don't have a car), so that could be a factor, but I'm absolutely certain that I'm drinking enough fluids. I drink about 3-4 liters (nearly a gallon) of water each day. Usually when I feel dehydrated I know that chugging a lot isn't the best strategy so I've used Powerade Zero in the past to get salt/electrolytes along with it but that isn't working for me anymore.

There's this new sport drink out there called "Body Armor" which actually worked the one time I tried it, but at 140 calories per bottle (coconut water + sugar) I'm scared of having to use it regularly. Is there any other way anyone knows of I can not feel so dehydrated all the time?

[Help] [Self harm triggers] Exercise/diet when ill
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Sun Dec 20 00:11:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xk132/self_harm_triggers_exercisediet_when_ill/
---
So yesterday I lost a significant amount of blood, and ever since I've been completely out of sorts. I'm easily winded from the simplest things (like walking around the house), I have a killer headache, my muscles become tired/cramp, and I have a vague craving for some sort of food. Super fuzzy/tired too.

So this is getting in the way of me exercising, and it's making me do the whole hover in the kitchen thing.

I'm wondering what would be a good way to get back to fighting fit. I already take vitamins. And I ended up sleeping most of today.

[Goal] Didn't stuff my face with catering on break today!
/u/unskinnyminniemouse [5'4" | 145lbs | 25.38 | -52lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 20 00:10:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xk0zs/didnt_stuff_my_face_with_catering_on_break_today/
---
So, I work a retail job and being the Saturday before Christmas, our benevolent corporate overlords will put in two orders of food for the employees on days like today (weekend before Xmas, Black Friday, and Tax-Free weekend), one order for morning/ day shift people and one for the afternoon/ evening/ really-fucking-late-at-night-because-crazy-holiday-hours shift people. Of course, I was the latter, so by the time I went to dinner the break room was filled with delicious-smelling dishes, and I nearly broke and ate a ton. But I didn't! I was a bit over 24 hours into a coffee/water fast that I don't plan on ending until at least tomorrow night, preferably Monday. I was just so proud of myself! AND later on, when I was back working again, the woman I work with on the customer service desk kept offering me cookies, and I continually declined. I just feel so in control when I can turn down food that part of my brain thinks I want. Anyway, sorry for the rambling, I was just so pleased with myself that I wanted to share. Now I just have to do the same thing tomorrow...

[Help] Feeling stuck
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 101 | 16.4| F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 22:55:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xjuz1/feeling_stuck/
---
Hi everyone. I just feel horrible. I am stuck at this weight. I ate between 300-700 cals per day and exercise at least 2 hours daily. I just dont know what to do. I haven't lost weigt in 3 weeks. Summer is comming here and I am so scared of leaving my big clothes.

The worst part is that I feel weeker every day, really dizzy also. I fall everytime I get up fast, crash in my bike. I just want all this disgusting fat gone!! I feel so sad and desperate. HELP!

[Discussion] To whoever initially recommended Bronkaid on this sub...
/u/loveleigh33 [5'6"| 109.0| 17.66 | -78| F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 22:32:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xjssd/to_whoever_initially_recommended_bronkaid_on_this/
---
I love you. I have no appetite and I love you. :)

[Thinspo] [Thispo] 'Tis the season to watch White Christmas: Have some Vera Ellen thinspo
/u/LadySkywalker
Created: Sat Dec 19 21:44:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xjo5c/thispo_tis_the_season_to_watch_white_christmas/
---
http://imgur.com/a/N2SFX

[Rant] Feel So Gross
/u/lightandempty [5'2.75" | 109.8lbs | 20.19 | -15.2 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 21:15:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xjl72/feel_so_gross/
---
Do you guys ever feel so disgusting? Especially after a binge but sometimes it just hits me, how much I hate myself and my body. I think about calories and food and what I ate and I just break down sobbing and feeling like the lowest of the low. I grab my fat and punch myself and I have this urge to just run, run for hours, or puke up everything or never ever eat again. Ugh, idk. It is just all so overwhelming. Sometimes I even do this while I am eating. I am binging, tears running down my face while I stuff more food into my fat face.

Idk, it's really upsetting sometimes and I am very sad. There aren't many people I could talk to about this without being judged, hence why I am posting here. You guys get me, I think.

[Discussion] me when i binge
/u/radbitch666 [5'8| 129.6 | 19.7 | -15.9 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 20:54:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xjj2x/me_when_i_binge/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-W5i5f3u00

[Discussion] Trashy Reality TV Lifespo
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 20:22:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xjflj/trashy_reality_tv_lifespo/
---
So today I'm marathonning bridezillas. This is some great reverse thinspo (most episodes), and also something else I'm calling 'lifespo'. Like these women are awful (i know it's all edited, but still), and they are somehow forcing these dumbasses to marry them. It's just like, I never want to be anything like these people. This is great inspiration to be anything but bitchy and demanding. It's like 'what not to do' for relationships. Also great thinspo when you see some of these large girls in dresses that clearly do not suit them.

I dunno, this has been my Saturday, what are you all doing this weekend?

[Rant] A quick rant
/u/heytiny [4'11" | 98 lbs | 21.02 | -5 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 19:31:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xja9h/a_quick_rant/
---
I'm so mad at my self. I've been fasting for two days and then I binged on two personal pizzas.

I feel so bloated and gross, I just wanna go and work it off but as of now I don't have a car.

I'm just so mad that I messed up my fast and now I feel like total shit because I wasn't even hungry and I kept eating.

Sorry I just needed to get how I felt off my chest.

Im in recover, at my goal weight and I still have a Tigh Gap
/u/stjarnlax
Created: Sat Dec 19 19:23:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xj9f0/im_in_recover_at_my_goal_weight_and_i_still_have/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Can we talk about Cheryl Cole?
/u/Shrinkinglily
Created: Sat Dec 19 16:59:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xissq/can_we_talk_about_cheryl_cole/
---
Is she anorexic don't out think? She is unreal thinspo to me atm. Very triggering

[Rant] Intro/Rant from a fattie
/u/HamFattie [5'2 | 118.8 | 22.28 | -17.2 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 15:38:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xiiyv/introrant_from_a_fattie/
---
Hi everyone. I see people are doing intros, so I'll make one too.

Background story is that I was anorexic when I was 12-14. Then that became BED in high school. I tried restricting a lot in college but I end up being a "yo yo dieter" where I lose a lot of weight and then it gain it back then lose again.

Right now, I'm having bulimic tendencies and my diagnosis was actually bulimia but it's not in accordance with current DSM so dunno why that is.

My main inspiration for losing weight is my mom. Right now, I'm 5'2 122 (I know, gross.) and I just got home from college and my mom *keeps* asking if I've exercised yet, how much weight I gain, and how much I weigh, and when I asked her why, she said "I want you to lose weight" So that definitely hurts but in a way, I'm determined to make her eat her words.

My little sister also is 11 and is my height 5'2 and 107 lb. And literally, she keeps going "What size are you?" "My clothes are an xs". "Don't take my leggings, they're an xs". "Do you want these shirts back? They're too big" and she points to my old shirts that she took. I know she's only 11, but I don't know how to feel about it because it's like I don't want her to get an ED but at the same time, the stuff she says to me makes me feel like a fucking ham planet, which I know I am, but I still hate it. And also, my relatives all say how she's skinny and I'm sure it's noted that we're the same height but she's a lot skinnier. This sounds terrible, but my goal is honestly to be skinnier than her. I feel like shit for saying it though. And I can't help how I feel and how that's my goal and I'm so fucking selfish and fucked up, but it is.

Anyway, sorry for the rant along with the intro.!

[Discussion] Anyone else love to cook?
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sat Dec 19 14:30:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xiabs/anyone_else_love_to_cook/
---
This seems to be one of my biggest obstacles when it comes to struggling with my ED. I'd definitely call myself a "foodie" and I just *love* to cook, so it makes my relationship with food even more complicated. It's weird 'cause being in the kitchen will help my anxiety, but then I think about how fat I'll get and I go back to being stressed out.

I do try to compromise and make really healthy meals, but sometimes there's recipes I've been dying to try which usually leads to a binge-fest. :(




Edit: Since a lot of you lovelies also like to cook, I was thinking we should have some sort of recipe exchange or something for low-cal stuff we don't feel too guilty about or anything really!

[Help] Only lost 1 pound since Sunday. What's going on?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 19 14:18:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xi8te/only_lost_1_pound_since_sunday_whats_going_on/
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[deleted]

[Help] I quit.
/u/Cenhinen_Bedr_Anus [5'4 | 90 | 16.14 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 12:57:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xhy8e/i_quit/
---
Currently weighing at 88 lbs at 5'4. Measurements are 32 - 22 - 32. I'm so happy with myself, which is new.

I'm just constantly ill now. I can't shake off any colds, and once I do I catch a new one. I feel terrible - not only because I'm ill - but because I'm quitting.

I've been in bed all day today. I was hypoglycemic. I couldn't get up to eat a thing. Every movement was painful and terrifying and I sweat all through my bedsheets. I had to phone a friend to come round with a can of coke - it was pathetic.

I want to be skinny so bad. My stomach finally looks flat and my waist is tiny, but I just won't be able to do it. God, I suck.

[Goal] Getting on the scale :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 19 12:48:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xhx4j/getting_on_the_scale/
---
[deleted]

I don't even wanna know right now...
/u/thunderbirdandspice [5'10" | 136 | 19.5 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 11:40:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xhocg/i_dont_even_wanna_know_right_now/
---
http://imgur.com/Tujhrex

[Discussion] My dogs missing.
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 09:42:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xh8yw/my_dogs_missing/
---
My dog is my best friend. My boyfriend and I found him when he was a baby. We had almost ran him over. He was all beat up with open wounds when we got him so we had him fixed up and he's been with us through everything for the past two years.

He has anxiety just like I do which only made me love and connect with him more. He was always there when I had a panic attack. I don't know what to do if he doesn't come back. My boyfriend let him out to potty when he came home for lunch and he just disappeared. He looked for him until he had to go back to work then I looked twice. It's been two hours and I feel hopeless.

Do you guys ever feel like you just have the worst luck when it comes to life? Like when something bad happens you're just like well, things were getting a little too easy. Like God or whoever you believe in it's putting you in your place? That's how I often feel.

Now it just want to lay in my futon and feed into this miserable feeling. The sad thing is, the first positive I thought of was now I won't have to eat today. My boyfriend knows I'm upset so I can just lay here and be upset. I feel like a piece of crap for thinking that way.

Anyway, please send good vibes and luck that I find my baby. I know this is a little off topic, if I should delete it, let me know.

[Help] How to diet and exercise without losing muscle mass?
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 120 | 20.6 | 25 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 09:39:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xh8n8/how_to_diet_and_exercise_without_losing_muscle/
---
So I'm Vegan and eat no more than 800 cals a day. I used to do cross country and I absolutely love my leg and butt muscle. I want to continue training them and getting stronger muscles, but is it even possible on my kind of diet? I don't want to workout if all it does is tear up my muscles and weaken them without being able to build them up. I'm not at all a nutritionist so could somebody help me figure this out?

[Rant] Friend sent me a "Fat Yoga" video
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 19 09:33:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xh7xb/friend_sent_me_a_fat_yoga_video/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 19, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 19 09:02:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xh429/daily_food_diary_december_19_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 19, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Yay Harm Reduction!
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Sat Dec 19 08:54:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xh316/yay_harm_reduction/
---
I <3 harm reduction. Here's a little:

Binge / Purge
--------------------------

After puking: rinse your mouth with water or baking soda + water (the latter neutralizes the acid in your mouth).

*Do not* brush teeth right after puking; it abrades your tooth enamel.

Try to use fluoride toothpaste to slow tooth decay and tooth sensitivity. Also floss every day.

If you feel you can, go to the dentist often.

If you cough up bright red blood, it is more likely an esophageal tear. Darkish or dark brown blood, especially chunky or the texture of coffee grounds, indicates the bleed is lower in your GI tract. Could be an ulcer or something else ā€“ go to a doctor.

Taking soluble fiber cam help your GI tract continue to function more normally.

Apparently chewing sugarless gum can help stimulate saliva and promote teeth health.

Replenish your electrolytes. Especially potassium, which helps your nerves work, heart, and other muscles contract properly, and helps regulate your blood pressure. Deficient potassium is called hypokalemia and is a common cause of death by bulimia due to heart failure. Electrolyte drinks can help and so can:

Some foods high in potassium: almonds, dried apricots, bananas, artichoke, blackberries, broccoli, cantaloupe, carrots, clams, grapefruit, cooked beet greens (really high), lentils, cooked parsnip, sweet potatoes and potatoes (really high), tuna, winter squash, low-fat yogurt

Other things you can become deficient in by puking: calcium, sodium, magnesium, etc.

Some foods high in magnesium: raw kale, raw spinach, collard greens, turnip greens, pumpkin seeds, almonds, peanuts, cashew nuts, mackerel, tuna, white beans, soy beans, lentils, chickpeas, brown rice, quinoa, avocados, low-fat yogurt, bananas, dark chocolate.

Some foods high in calcium: cheese, yogurt, milk, ice cream, sardines, shrimp, spinach, kale, collard greens, broccoli rabe, fortified cereals (check the label),fortified almond/rice/soy milk, fortified orange juice, fortified English muffins, fortified frozen waffles (Is there anything they *donā€™t* fortify?) enriched grains, soybeans, bok choy, figs

Do not take diuretics or laxatives. They will not make you lose weight lastingly. They get rid of water weight and thus can cause dangerous dehydration. If you do take them ā€“ drink water + electrolytes.

If you do not purge after a binge, hot water bottles and sipping hot tea can be soothing to painful stomachs. As can sitting upright (propped up with pillows on the couch, etc.). Not restricting more than you normally would the next day (despite the urge to ā€˜make up forā€™ binging) can help you avoid or get out of the binge / heavily-restrict / binge / heavily-restrict cycle.

Restriction
-------------------------

The above tips about keeping your electrolyte levels up also apply to those who purely restrict. Zero or low-calorie electrolyte drinks are your friends if you most or all of the foods above do not make it onto the list of foods you eat.

Stay hydrated. Drink so so much water.

Take a multivitamin. If normal adult multivitamins hurt your stomach or nauseate you, gummy vitamins may be easier on your stomach.

Take a calcium supplement with vitamin D (Said vitamin is essential to the absorption of calcium. You can also get vitamin D from mackerel, salmon, tuna, and fortified milk / orange juice / soymilk / cereal.). Also take it with food. Your body best absorbs calcium in 500-600mg (or less) doses, so if you take more than that, try dividing it up throughout the day.

If you bruise easily, you could be deficient in iron, vitamin K (especially if youā€™ve taken antibiotics recently), or vitamin C. If you take an iron supplement, take it with vitamin C to aid absorption.

To help your hair, skin, and nails, try to get enough of vitamins A, B, C, and E, zinc, iron, and possibly biotin.

Get enough sleep. Too little or too much can cause [weight gain](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ingrid-prueher/too-much-or-too-little-sleep-can-lead-to-weight-gain-and-disease_b_8112778.html), make you crave high-carbohydrate foods, raise your cortisol levels (high levels of cortisol destroy muscle and bone cells), and decrease glucose and insulin sensitivity (increasing your risk of diabetes).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sure you all have some to add.

[Help] Living with parents. How can I buy a scale and food scale without raising suspicion?
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 06:45:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xgq11/living_with_parents_how_can_i_buy_a_scale_and/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xgq11/living_with_parents_how_can_i_buy_a_scale_and/

[Rant] I can't stop the cycle
/u/wynterkitty [5'2.5 | 110 | 20.15 | -5 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 05:43:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xgl3t/i_cant_stop_the_cycle/
---
I feel like for the past year I've just been on this never repeating cycle of doing very well by exercising and eating under 800 calories for a week, lose a few pounds, decide that I deserve a cheat day, end up binge eating, purge, feel terrible and just give up on losing weight since I binged, eat excess calories for several days, gain all the weight back, feel terrible and start restricting again, repeat. Or other times I might lose a few pounds, see no difference at all and just give up because 'I'll always be this way'.

The worst is I know what I'm doing wrong. I know what triggers me to binge eat (when I'm bored/stressed/sad) and I know when I'm going to binge eat. Yet I still go and buy my binge foods and I just lack the self control to stop myself. I know it takes a few weeks to see the difference. I know how to lose weight but I just can't do it. And now it's nearly the end of the year and I weigh and look basically the same from the beginning of the year. I just wasted a whole year.

Honestly I really admire people who can be continuously restrictive for weeks. They have such strong will power and self control, which are things I lack. How do you guys do it? How do you find the motivation to keep on going when you see no difference in the mirror?

This is really more like a rant, I just have no one in real life to share these frustrations with and it's nice to finally talk about them with people.




[Discussion] What are your plans/tips/ideas for having a legitimately good Christmas?
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 115.6 lbs | 20.23 | -29.4 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 03:39:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xgcds/what_are_your_planstipsideas_for_having_a/
---
I guess I want to open up a bit of a discussion about enjoying the holidays.

What would that look like for you? Do you expect you'll restrict during family get togethers? Do you allow yourself to eat "normally"? Do you genuinely get to relax and enjoy your time? Or are you stressed and anxious about it more than anything?

I know I want to actually connect with family and friends and be able to feel comfortable. I'm not exactly sure how or if that's attainable. But I definitely want to do my best to feel happy at this time of the year. I don't see my extended family very often. I want it to go well! So that's part of why I'm nervous about potential comments on my weight and eating habits. I want to appear "normal" and collected and content with myself.

How are all of you feeling about Christmas/Holiday time?

I've really been disinterested in the whole thing this year. My parents got divorced this past year (mom cheated and is with the guy) and my dad got remarried. Never saw that coming... Weird dynamics. Anyways, I haven't even decorated, barely done any shopping, and really don't feel all that excited. I know that's basically normal for an adult but it just feels extra 'blah' because I'm not super happy with myself lately, despite being at an all time low weight and objectively looking better than ever. Still sad, anxious, depressed. Can't win.

EDIT - can't flair (on mobile) will fix later

[Rant] My Doctor Noticed... NSFW way too much swearing [RANT]
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 149lbs | 22.7 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 03:29:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xgbov/my_doctor_noticed_nsfw_way_too_much_swearing_rant/
---
Right, prick.. I see you for anxiety, stress and low mood. Yes, it's your job, but I didn't ask you to question how much fucking weight I've lost. Yes, I've lost 3 stone in a short amount of time. No I haven't had solid food other than the stupid binges. It's none of your god-damn business.

All I came in for was to talk to you about the stupid medication you've put me on. Yes they work but I can't stop fucking yawning! I'm getting very little sleep. All I wanted was to talk to about the fact I'm getting no sleep and you tell me I've lost a ton of weight. Thank you for noticing but why would you ask how and why! I should have said Slimming World but no I told you how. Then you shift in your seat, sitting in that stupid doctor pose as if something's wrong. You asked why again and seemed shocked. Why the fuck do you think? You're a fucking doctor, you can see I'm fucking fat. My legs wobble, my stomach is huge. Go look in my records, it's all there! You know I hate the way I look. Your fucking diagnosed me! You organised my talking therapy for it! It didn't fucking work, did it!? I still hate who I am, I still hate looking in the mirror! I still want the fucking surgery and I've already picked the company to do it. So back off!

I don't need your help or your concern, just help me stop myself from screaming and getting so mad I see red again. Just stay out of my personal business and keep my sane.

(Apologises for the language, I needed to shout somewhere)

[Rant] Can I just...
/u/cucmber [5'6"| 164.9 | 26.98 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 02:48:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xg90u/can_i_just/
---
Why does my mum always have to be in the kitchen when I'm making food???!! I specifically eat at weird times so she's not there but now she just... hovers! Let me measure my half tablespoon of honey in PEACE.

Anyone else have hovering family members? It drives me nuts.

Don't engage in trolls
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 19 01:01:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xg1t9/dont_engage_in_trolls/
---
[removed]

[Rant] 1 step forward 2 steps back [rant]
/u/iwillbesmall [5'7" | 129lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 23:52:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xfwig/1_step_forward_2_steps_back_rant/
---
my teeth are sensitive, my throat hurts, and i have sores in my mouth, ill leave the dinner table after we are finish eating in a restaurant to go throw up my dinner in the bathroom, i dont think anybody notices because everyone is always drinking or has there head in the clouds....but im losing weight and i couldnt be happier

[Help] Home less than 3 hours, already starting to panic
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Dec 18 22:59:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xfrpc/home_less_than_3_hours_already_starting_to_panic/
---
I'm in the fucking south, where everything is covered in gravy. After picking up my sister from the airport, we're going to a southern restaurant and I've spent the last hour pouring over the menu trying to figure out how I'm going to survive this.


This is the first time I'll be eating at a restaurant with my family since I've started heavily restricting. I'm scared to make any really weird food demands or eat an alarmingly small amount, but I'm more horrified at the idea of eating so many calories in one sitting.


I feel like I'm overthinking everything and nobody would care but I also feel l I'm going to lose no matter what I do. So much anxiety over one. fucking. breakfast. How in the hell am I going to survive an entire week?!?!?!?

[Help] Small "binge"?
/u/faebun [5'6 | 137.2lb | 22.1 | 26.8lb | NB]
Created: Fri Dec 18 22:53:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xfr58/small_binge/
---
Tonight I broke down and stuffed my face with an entire box of Velveeta macaroni. I ate every single last noodle and actually had to lie down on the floor for a bit because my stomach hurt so much and I was so disgusted with myself.

Turns out a full box is only 1,080 calories. Is this a binge, or a large meal? It definitely felt like a binge to me but now I'm worried and invalidating myself over not being 'sick enough'. (I know that sounds awful but it comes with having BPD.)

[Discussion] You guys are all awesome and beautiful.
/u/shallowmeans [5'4 | 112 | 19.6 | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 22:42:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xfq0e/you_guys_are_all_awesome_and_beautiful/
---
That is all. ā¤

[Help] Question about calories
/u/maryisabadcat
Created: Fri Dec 18 22:27:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xfooq/question_about_calories/
---
I'm eating less than 1000 cals per day. Is this low enough to maintain a constant weekly loss? I don't want to f*ck this up. I don't binge, but I eat one substantial thing per day (today was a chicken sandwich. I only eat homemade food) which is about 400-500 cals. Everything else is small snacks (an apple, an orange, rice cakes). It seems to be working (had another loss today) but I'm scared I'm eating too much. Do I need more discipline?

[Rant] Introducing myself + doing the ABC Diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 18 20:55:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xffcd/introducing_myself_doing_the_abc_diet/
---
[removed]

[Help] HELP HELP HELP BINGE COMING
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 18 17:32:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xet93/help_help_help_binge_coming/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] NSV on potluck day!
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 16:57:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xeoyg/nsv_on_potluck_day/
---
There's been a 70 calorie double stuffed oreo sitting on my desk just staring at me for the last hour. I finally got sick of debating whether I should eat it or not and grabbed the stupid thing, crumbled it all up, and chucked it in the trash. Feels good man.

[Rant] The worst feeling is realizing you could've been at your GW if you hadn't had so many binge episodes the past month(s)...
/u/Journeytothin [5'6 | 129.9 | 21.0 | f]
Created: Fri Dec 18 15:30:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xee5p/the_worst_feeling_is_realizing_you_couldve_been/
---
...Aaaand this is my realization as I found my calculations earlier. If I had just stayed on track, I could've met my first GW of 120 by now. But with the end of the semester craziness, I caved, and alternated between great restricting days and then AWFUL, AWFUL binge days.

At least I maintained, but damn...This feeling sucks.

[Help] I feel like a phony I don't know what to say or who I am I just don't know
/u/hatepickingnamesuser [62.75 in. | 147 lbs | 27.03 | 39 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 14:50:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xe8ty/i_feel_like_a_phony_i_dont_know_what_to_say_or/
---
I don't know how to gather my thoughts right now so if I sound sporadic I'm sorry.

I ate half a sleeve of ritz and some Ruffles today and threw them up because I felt so full and was shooting for a fast. My husband was coming home and asked if I wanted chick fil a I said no and felt so accomplished. When he got here a couple hours passed and I caved and went to get some with him. I ate a spicy chick fil a sandwhich and a couple fries and I felt so defeated and full and gross. He said he was going to take a nap and I was so excited because it was minutes after I ate after I knew he was asleep I went to the bathroom in the other room and threw up. I've never purged food so spicy before and it was the worst experience I was paranoid I would wake him from how badly I reacted to the spice in my throat and nose I tried to keep quiet but I just couldn't it hurt so bad. I spent the whole time throwing up thinking of a good excuse as to why in case I woke him. " I didn't feel well, the food must have been bad," anything that sounded reasonable and believable. When I was through and knew I got it all up I stepped outside and was so happy I didn't wake him. And I felt so proud I wanted someone to tell anyone but who? I thought about you guys. I've been lurking for a while and felt like y'all would understand. But I can't I shouldn't I don't have an eating disorder I tell myself. Right? Throwing up on occasion when you eat too much and fasting or restriction on occasion isn't bad right? It's just a diet. A small step in my lifestyle change. I have control over myself. In fact more control than I've ever had. I am the decider of what I eat and how much. Do I want to get drunk later on? Fine just don't eat all day and drink all my calories if I want cookies it's okay I can just throw them up. But I'm not sick I have control. Right? I just don't know anymore I keep trying to stop and reevaluate myself make sure I don't become "sick." But I've lost so much weight I started my lifestyle change in October I restricted for a month to 300-600 calories I had no binges or purges so it wasn't unhealthy I dropped 20 lbs but it was okay I'm fat so it isn't unhealthy. I tell myself this but I feel different with food i can't describe why. I stopped restricting as much and switched to a higher calories goal and I guess b/p when I eat something I wasn't expecting to. I've been steadily dropping since I changed up in November I'm currently down 35 total but I'm not done so I can't give up. If anything I have to push harder I'm seeing results I've never seen before finally the excuses seem gone I have so much control over my weight that I've never had before. I want to see it all go away. And I know I can stop when I get to 95 I'll know I've won but I'm so worried that that won't be good enough. I feel like I'm rambling and I'm so sorry if this doesn't make any sense I just feel like j have no one to talk to about what I'm going through right now it makes me feel so lost. I feel like I'm a phony for wanting to talk to you guys I'm too fat to have an eating disorder but I feel so alone in this.

[Rant] I'm sick of binging
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 118 | 20.65 | -2 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 14:24:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xe57b/im_sick_of_binging/
---
This entire past week I've been binging like crazy and am almost back to my HW. I could have reached my GW by now, but I've spent the last several months eating like a pig getting ready for the slaughter. I binged again today, and I feel absolutely disgusting. I can't stand myself. Not to mention we'll be going to Peru on vacation, and I won't be able to wear a swimsuit because of all the weight I've gained. I'm furious with myself. It's affected my productivity. Why don't I learn? I'm sick of binging. Sick, sick of it. I wish I had some escape.

[Rant] Curious George has more Boundaries
/u/littlegayalien [5'2" | 178.6lbs | 33.84 | -4lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 13:41:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xdz94/curious_george_has_more_boundaries/
---
I'm really sorry for the intermittent curses.

My friends looked through my notebook. Literally what the fuck kind of trust breaking shit are they doing. Honestly they do this all the time; I'll wander to another part of my house and when I come back they're snooping around my room. I once walked back into my room after going to the bathroom and my friend was literally pulling stuff out from under my bed. For no reason.

Yesterday: I had a notebook with measurements and goals and shit on my bedside table. It had one of those elastic strings around it so they actually had to unwrap it to open it. Guess what? Yeah. They went there.

So anyways, after they snooped through my shit, they ended up confronting me. I told them about this subreddit (why'd I do that lmao gr8 nice one me) and one of them even tried to correct me on the "right" ED type things you search for. "No it's called ana or mia not proED," she said. Um what the fuck? Why would you even say this? You don't even have a reddit account, that's just what this is called. Yeah, I know about fuckin ana & mia; wow cutesy code lingo that are literally just half of the whole word, that was so hard to figure out /s. But why do you think *I'm* wrong because *you* don't know about the subreddit? Hop off.

Okay sorry. So they were trying to make me stop. But every time I look at them now I just feel like they think I'm bad at having an eating disorder. Here's the catch that makes me feel like an asshole. They both had ED's. I knew this. I didn't stop them. I saw the signs or whatever. I didn't say anything though. I just wanted/admired the control that they had. But this is why I feel like even though they want me to stop, they still think that I couldn't do this *like they did*. They've been there. They both are nearly model thin and pretty and all that jazz. I'm very *not* thin (catch me beating around that bush lmao), and I think because of this, they think I'm pathetic.

Honestly this makes me want to do this more. Catch you later lovelies.

tl;dr: snoopy friends went dr. phil on my ass

[Discussion] What do you drink during a fast?
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 13:15:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xdvoy/what_do_you_drink_during_a_fast/
---
I'm trying my first deliberate fast this week, and was wondering if anyone had any advice.
I love water, I drink about 64 oz each day easily. I also drink a fair amount of tea. The warmth of it helps when I have cravings. Anything by the Numi brand is delicious. I also drink coffee for work, usually a couple shots of espresso with about 5 oz of soy milk.
I know electrolytes are important to maintain, especially during a fast. Gatorade makes a low-cal version of their drink with the same amount of electrolytes, about 75 kcal/ 30oz. I've heard people recommend drinking broth, is that just like chicken broth you can buy in a carton at a grocery store? I have multivitamins that I take as well.
Anyone else have any advice?

[Discussion] Opinions on corsets and waist trainers?
/u/StarPerry [5' 5.5" | 136 | 23.07 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 12:54:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xdspz/opinions_on_corsets_and_waist_trainers/
---
I am considering buying [this](http://www.amazon.com/YIANNA-Womens-Girdle-Training-Corset/dp/B00UG296YS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1450468401&sr=8-2&keywords=waist+trainer) sort of waist trainer. I have a $50 Amazon Gift card, so it works.

Does anyone have experience with waist trainers?
Any recommended ones?

[Discussion] Sucking In Your Stomach?
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 12:41:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xdqw0/sucking_in_your_stomach/
---
I was just curious how many people here do this. When I was 11 my mother advised me to suck in my tummy so I'd look better, and I did it every day from then on up until last year. Then when I lost weight it stopped giving me a smaller look and just made the little pooch at the bottom of my belly look more prominent, so I actually look thinner if I just let my stomach rest normally. It still feels weird not to do it and I occasionally try it to see if I look better haha. Do any of you still do this, or do you not bother?

[Rant] Well fuck, another intro.
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Fri Dec 18 12:31:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xdphu/well_fuck_another_intro/
---
Hey guys, been posting thinspo and stuff since I found this wonderful place but I never did an intro thing so here I am. Also sorry about the wall of text.




I was a chubby kid, and growing up in the middle of nowhere all there was to do was go into the forest (which had cougars that could kill you) or stay inside to play my playstation and eat.

So that's basically all I did.

But then I moved from my home town to "the city" at the crucial age where cliques start to form and I never really recovered or gained anymore lasting friendships.

I was teased for being on my way to mini-moon status, awful eyebrows and just generally being weird. So at about grade 6 (I guess 11 years old?) I started developing ED tendencies where I'd make any excuse to skip meals throughout the day and and just move my food around my plate at dinner. I even started to occasionally purge, and by the time I was 12 I was a completely different person. Still never self confident though, so I made a lot of mistakes with this new body that boys seemed to like, which I regret a lot.

I got to 89 pounds at my lowest, but my parents never really seemed to notice, which in hindsight hurts because I had a lot of issues that needed to be addressed. My parents aren't really the type to think about mental health or counseling in a positive light, so I felt guilty asking for help.

So that's basically how it all started, my weights been fluctuating up and down ever since, and at one point I had a boyfriend that wanted to do nothing but again, play video games and eat all day and being the lovesick idiot I was, I ballooned to 115 pounds.

He was emotionally abusive so we broke up, I hated myself and I started hanging out with shady people and doing coke. Good news is I lost the extra weight and I never got addicted so I left those people behind, went to college and got a career doing something I love.

I'm still not happy with myself though and I don't think I ever will be, but I'm never going to let someone make me lose control the way I did before. I also now have a loving SO who knows about my ED and though he worries about me, he seems to realize I've got this under control so he doesn't try to force me to live differently.

[Discussion] Do you guys deal with any other body image issues? (Besides weight) How do you deal with it?
/u/maya7888 [5'6" | 160 | 26 | -5 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 11:17:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xdese/do_you_guys_deal_with_any_other_body_image_issues/
---
Hey guys! I was just wondering if we could open a discussion about other body image issues (not weight related). For example, I have violin hips (or a hip dip) and broad shoulders. I feel like violin hips look better on everyone else but me and am so self conscious of being naked.

Do you have similar body issues? How do you deal with them?

[Discussion] Since everyone else is doing it, here's an intro?
/u/unskinnyminniemouse [5'4" | 145lbs | 25.38 | -52lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 10:53:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xdbfr/since_everyone_else_is_doing_it_heres_an_intro/
---
Uh, apologies for enormous wall of text. Did not expect to just keep typing, but, here ya go.

Hi everyone! I've been a lurker here for several months, and I figured it's time to come out of the shadows and join the community for real. A little about me: I'm 22, working full time retail, and I've struggled with food my entire life. I was always at least a little overweight growing up, and food was a coping mechanism for me when things got tough to handle. Through high school I would try to diet, then a month or two later I'd mess everything up, so my weight would yo-yo a lot. I always hated myself and my body, so binging felt like both a fuck-up and a method of self-harm for me.

When I went away to college, my depression worsened and I ate and ate and ate and I skyrocketed up to nearly 200 lbs. I left school after second semester of my junior year because I never went to class, I couldn't get myself out of bed most days, I'd just stay in my apartment and binge. Shortly after I came home from school, I was diagnosed with cancer (Hodgkin's Lymphoma, one of the better cancers to get if you have to get cancer) and that was terrifying and through radiation I was always exhausted and it fucked up my taste buds pretty bad so I barely ate for months. Honestly, it may be weird but the cancer actually gave me the motivation to really lose weight. I was very unhealthy before, and what I'm doing now may not be the best but it's definitely better than being obese, which I was.

I currently try to stay under 700 calories a day, and I try to fast often as well usually for at least 48 hours. When I'm on my medications (Adderall XR for legitimate ADD and Wellbutrin), I stay on track much better both because they are appetite suppressants and because I am slightly less full of hate for myself/ can actually stay focused on not eating and getting other things done. But if I miss a day of meds, I end up spiraling because it makes it harder to remember the next day, and the next, and that's when I end up binging.

I don't consider myself to have an ED, or I don't think so at least? I'm not really sure. But what I do know is that the community here is so wonderful and informative and supportive, and nowhere else will accept my daily calorie limit as ok. -.-

**TL;DR: I've always been fat; cancer motivated me to try and stop being so fat.**

[Rant] Holiday potluck at work. Kill me pls.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 10:50:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xdazm/holiday_potluck_at_work_kill_me_pls/
---
Weee, the annual holiday potluck w/ junk food EVERYWHERE. What does the girl with an eating disorder bring? Sugar free gum. Fuck you, co-workers, I'm not letting you slow my progress. And if you guys don't partake in the lovely variety of sf gum I've brought for you then FINE. More for me :)




The cafeteria at work is closed all next week so my department is having lunch catered every single day. REALLY AWESOME. I'll just keep on keepin' on over here in my corner with my nf Greek yogurt and veggies.

[Tip] Be careful with psyllium husk fiber supplements...
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Dec 18 09:25:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xcyif/be_careful_with_psyllium_husk_fiber_supplements/
---
Using psyllium husk fiber to relieve constipation can actually *cause* constipation if you're not careful. It works by absorbing water in your intestines & expanding to form bulk, but if you're not drinking enough water, it can clump in your guts and cause constipation, or even worse, a life-threatening intestinal blockage.

I was taking it because it's lower calories than prunes but (TMI) I haven't pooped in 4 days now...

If you're going to take it, make sure to drink TONS of water afterwards.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 18, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 18 09:02:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xcva9/daily_food_diary_december_18_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 18, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Apps? [Discussion]
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" | 137.2 | 27.07 l -11.8lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 07:27:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xcism/apps_discussion/
---
Hi, lovelies!
I was wondering if anyone has any fun apps they like to use? I use MFP and Habitica and yesterday I just discovered Plant Nanny from one of your posts and then Walkr, so I was wondering if there was anything else I was missing out on. It doesn't have to be food related necessarily, I love anything organized and productive!

[Rant] Date night
/u/allthatyouhave
Created: Fri Dec 18 06:45:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xce49/date_night/
---
"When was the last time you saw a dentist?" My boyfriend asks through a mouthful of egg roll. I use my fingers to count under the table.

"8 months." Twice as long as we've been dating. "Why?"

"The enamel on your teeth is really thin in some places. Did you know that?"

My full stomach knots up and I am thinking, *oh my god I am not ready for this conversation.*

"Yeah." I can barely squeak it out.

"I was wondering if your dentist said anything about it."

I am giving him this weird blank stare with a forced smile. He asks me why I'm looking at him like that but I can't stop.

The words "I used to be bulimic" bubble to the forefront of my mind. I never say anything unless I think about it first, filter, make sure it's what I mean to say. I've blurted out too many embarrassing things. I have learned from that mistake, at least.

But it's not past tense. I didn't "used to be" bulimic. I am bulimic. I've been planning my escape to the bathroom five minutes before he said anything. Maybe it was the waistband of my plaid skirt digging into my stomach. Maybe it was because I was just a little too full. I didn't plan this binge. I feel out of control.

"Are you ready to go?" he says, not looking up from his phone.

"Just let me go to the bathroom real quick," I say, smiling but not showing my newest insecurity.

The world spins as I wander past a table full of jello and cake and ice cream. I think about everything I ate so I can make sure it all comes up. I hope I haven't digested too much.

I'm standing over the toilet sideways because the stall is so cramped I can't stand in front of it without my knees touching the bowl. I bend at the waist, my hair a curtain to hide my shame, and stick my fingers in my mouth.

*You fucking failure*, I think, my pointer finger circling my tonsils. I spit.

*Stupid fucking bitch, no wonder no one likes you*, I think, as I vomit up the last thing I ate- chocolate pudding and coffee tiramisu. My eyes water.

*Not enough. Not good enough. More. More you dumb skank*. I shove vomit coated fingers deeper down my throat and retch the rest of my dinner into the bowl. It takes two times but then again, I ate two plates like a fucking cow.

Everything in the bowl is chocolate colored from dessert. My stomach is empty. I got vomit on the seat and on my shiny black boots. Christmas music spills through the speakers and makes my head pound. I flush and think to myself, *good job.* I wipe everything up and go to the sink to rinse my mouth out.

I look at my disgusting thin teeth. They used to be white and straight and cute. Now they're crooked and yellowing and thin. I won't cry. My face is already pink from bending over. But I am empty. I almost feel pretty. Almost.

[Discussion] Supplements pt 2
/u/foreverthin
Created: Fri Dec 18 05:52:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xc8q7/supplements_pt_2/
---
I just started taking 3 capsules of Glucomannan and 1 cap of Caffine Anhydrous 2 times a day. It feels exactly like adderall with a slightly less cracked out feeling. I can honestly say that I am not hungry. The best part is I got both of these giant bottles for $17! Anyways, I just wanted to thank everyone who posted in the last supplement thread because I would have never found them. You all are amazing<3

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! December 18, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 18 05:02:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xc46v/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_december_18/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for December 18, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Former Blogger Users?
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 115.6 lbs | 20.23 | -29.4 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 18 03:24:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xbvz4/former_blogger_users/
---
I remember using Blogger years ago (2008-10) for ED related discussion/chat/messaging. I forget my old username. Maybe Elle something or other. I remember really engaging with a girl who was studying to be a veterinarian and I felt we had a bit in common. I also forget her username, sadly.

Were any of you on there during that time as well? I left because I wanted to 'get better' for my husband's sake. The issues never resolved, clearly. I missed it! I'm glad to have Reddit as a replacement for that community.

Just reminiscing, I guess!

[Tip] ABC diet is fucking amazing.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 18 01:51:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xboo3/abc_diet_is_fucking_amazing/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Is anyone else traveling for Christmas?
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Fri Dec 18 00:47:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xbjfk/is_anyone_else_traveling_for_christmas/
---
Will anyone else be around family that will make it hard not to eat? I'm going to my SO's relative's house that I've never been to before. I really don't want to look rude if I don't eat whatever they cook. But it's going to be hard. I'm excited but I know I'm just going to gain weight. Maybe I can try to get away from eating somehow. I kind of just want to enjoy my time there and not worry about food.

[Discussion] How much do you spend on food a month?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 17 23:36:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xbd4s/how_much_do_you_spend_on_food_a_month/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Feel gross
/u/LillithSixx [5'9" | 142.8lbs. | 20.71 | -57.2lbs. | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 22:56:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xb99z/feel_gross/
---
My darlin was off today, so instead of only eating when he came home, I ate with him all day. I'd been doing so well, but now I'll have to start all over. I feel so full and weighed down. It's nasty. :(

[Thinspo] Here's some Summery thinspo for everyone else missing the sunshine!
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Thu Dec 17 22:26:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xb67s/heres_some_summery_thinspo_for_everyone_else/
---
http://imgur.com/a/YyyuR

Abusive PMs
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 22:10:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xb4h4/abusive_pms/
---
We have received a few reports about harassment in PM.

If you are being harassed in PM by a user of /r/proED, please screenshot the PMs and send them to the mods with a brief summary of what is going on, how long this has been going on, etc. We would prefer if you included their side AND your side of the conversation, so don't just crop out what you said.

If we find that they are indeed harassing you, we can ban them from /r/proED, but they will still be able to message you. Therefore, you should block them.

EDIT: Also, in the spirit of preventing attention-whore/trolls, no "You're so unhealthy" comments. I find it *very* hard to believe that a person who purges every day or has a BMI of under 18 doesn't know that what they're doing is at least, somewhat, unhealthy. You pointing this out will not get the point across and will simply come off as rude to someone legitimately suffering from an ED.

[Discussion] I have three things - Bronkaid, Questions, and a Story
/u/StarPerry [5' 5.5" | 136 | 23.07 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 21:52:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xb2nf/i_have_three_things_bronkaid_questions_and_a_story/
---
Hey y'all!

I haven't been keeping up with proper eating. I moved, stress - I could list about a million reasons as to why I haven't lost weight, but they aren't reasons, they're *excuses*.

This past week I turned 18 (yay) and what does that mean? Cheap, Walmart Bronkaid! I got 48 tablets for about 9 dollars. All I had to do was show my I.D. at the pharmacy counter. I looked like a total mess... I hope the lady didn't think I was making meth. I'm no Heisenberg.

Anyhow! I have Bronkaid, and am swinging by GNC tomorrow (or somewhere else if they don't have 'em) to get caffeine tabs.

Questions!

* How many milligrams do I take of each, and how many times a day? I want to avoid taking the caffeine around bed for obvious reasons, I already have problems sleeping.

* What are your experiences with EC stacks?

* Anything to take/avoid while doing the stack?

Story!
So, my mom took me to Walmart (thanks momma), am carless. I didn't tell her what I went there for, I just said I needed some stuff. She walked around, did her shopping. I beelined for the pharmacy and started the drug deal - I mean transaction. After getting the Bronkaid I went to the bathroom and stuffed them into the liner of my jacket. I didn't really *need* anything else, so I waltzed around just watching people and looking at shelves of food.

You ever need anti-thinspo? Go to Walmart. The larger people there (I know this isn't that other subreddit, staying conservative) are great motivation to lose weight. I chose the candy and sweet isles. The customers and the gross sugary food was more than enough motivation to get back down to cutting calories and fasting.

Well, that's all! I also bought hair clips, to not look like I went in for jackdiddly squat. Walmart has nice hair clips.

[Discussion] I haven't eaten food since Monday evening.
/u/Sknie
Created: Thu Dec 17 20:57:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xawtr/i_havent_eaten_food_since_monday_evening/
---
I wasn't even planning on doing a 24 hour fast, and now 72 hours have flown by without having eaten at all. I've just been drinking water, black coffee, vitamin water zero and I had a couple of sugar free energy drinks (5 cal). I feel like I could easily keep going. I just wanted to share, because this makes me really happy. The longest I've fasted in the past was a day and a half.

I don't know when I'll start eating again, I think I'll just take it one day at a time. It'd be cool if I could go a whole 7 days though. My mind feels so much quieter, not having to worry about food.

Is anyone else fasting right now?

[Discussion] Abusive PMs...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 17 20:47:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xavn0/abusive_pms/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] I got a fitbit!!
/u/paperwire [5'2 | 112 | 21.22 | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 20:18:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xas8q/i_got_a_fitbit/
---
I just got a Fitbit charge HR! I asked my bf for it for Christmas and since we're not spending Christmas together we did presents early. I'm so excited to track literally everything.

Has anyone lost much weight using it?

[Discussion] Any greek redditors with EDs?
/u/fourfoldcat [5'4 | 120 | 20.6 | 25 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 18:36:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xagbi/any_greek_redditors_with_eds/
---
Hey guys! I thought it would be cool to get to know any greek or greek-interested proEDs and talk about how greek life has affected us.

I'm part of a sorority at a small private school where greek life is pretty prominent. It actually inspires me to lose weight more because my sisterhood is known for accepting fatter girls, but recently a group of frat brothers told me that our pledge class has been the hottest/thinnest so far. It makes me feel like I need to represent better and diet more. It also feels nice to look up to girls who are thin and beautiful.

[Discussion] [Intro] everyones doing them all of a sudden so ill do one too
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 17 18:21:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xaela/intro_everyones_doing_them_all_of_a_sudden_so_ill/
---
are these annoying?? idk at least its activity

not a lot of dudes here so maybe ill help diversify it a bit haha

ive never been overweight (my highest bmi was 23 or something) but i was all body fat when i was that weight so i looked really chubby. was always really insecure about my appearance but not necessarily my weight specifically, then i started losing weight and it slowly devolved into bulimia i guess and now im trying to stop and just restrict so ill probably actually post here now

next week im gonna try really hard to go an entire week without binging or purging and hopefully string along another week after that and keep that going so yeah hi guys

edit: numbers

[Tip] How to deal with binges
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 17:43:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3xa9zi/how_to_deal_with_binges/
---
Hereā€™s some tips to try to avoid binges ( from the internet)

- Drink enough. At least two liters a day. Water, coffee, green tea, sugar free energy drinks, etc.

- Eat chewing gum.

- Distraction. When you have craving, or feel you are going to, make sure you can distract yourself from it. It can be singing, writing, drawing, dancing or playing piano.

- Donā€™t buy things that trigger a binge (obvious). When you are in charge of the groceries, make a list before shopping, and stick to it.

- Write. A lot of binges are caused by emotions. You can feel lonely, angry, sad, depressed. Write about it.



[Thinspo] Bruises are beautiful.
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 16:02:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x9wxj/bruises_are_beautiful/
---
http://imgur.com/a/TeUlu

[Rant] I'm hoping that the light I see is the end of this tunnel
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 15:30:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x9scq/im_hoping_that_the_light_i_see_is_the_end_of_this/
---
This week, I've been at war, and I'm tired, so very tired. How could I not be when I'm the only one fighting on either side?

We had a thread of goals for this month, and when I posted, I was fresh into a new start. Two days "sober" from a relatively mild binge. I made promises. To you all, to myself. I would sleep by 10, rise by 6. I would meditate, take time for me, fast on Mondays to balance my body and soul. And if I fell, I wouldn't run for the bathroom in whatever form that took, I would focus, fast, recover.

We've reached the halfway point in the month, and you know, really, I can't even tell you in the picture of the whole month that I'm a screw up. It FEELS like I am, but dammit, I DID WELL! For half of a month, I DID what I promised us both. And while I didn't feel beautiful or worthy, while there was still so much to do, so much to not eat... I knew in my heart that each day, I was getting up and marching into battle and winning!

There's no one trigger that did it. I could point to disagreements and let downs from people that I love. I could say that because we had an "early Christmas" party on Sunday, I had to break my goal to be in bed by 10 starting on Friday and I haven't been in bed since then before 2am. I could mention comments by a well meaning family member about my childlessness at my age pushing me harder than I thought was possible. I could just as easy say it was my radio bully. While all of these things are true, the ultimate truth is that I simply cracked. I wasn't strong enough. Or maybe I am strong enough but I let myself panic and give up. Perhaps it's that other side of me, the fat one, who was terrified by my strength and charged forward to stop me. I don't know. But I broke.

Sunday binge, Monday Tuesday fast, Wednesday Midnight binge, Wednesday proper until today at 7 this morning fast. 7am to 45 minutes ago, a hard and dirty binge. Both sides of me are tired. We've both won and lost battles. It's time to stop this.

I'm seeing things clearly right now. So clearly it hurts. Normally, I'd be sobbing. Cursing. Plotting. Railing against the fact that I promised people on the internet that I wouldn't purge and I have a strange sense of honour in these things. I can't "let you down"... I promised. I know that I have to get a full nights sleep to have the mental strength to fight for the right side. I have to take all my vitamins, my anxiety medication as well. I MUST drink and stay hydrated (I'm completely embarrassed, I got the Plant Nanny app and almost killed a virtual plant I let myself get so dehydrated!) I can't keep using the fact that I've taken in my 13 year old cousin to raise as an excuse to have foods in the house that I KNOW will trigger me. You know what's hysterical? I HATE peanut butter! I have forever. I bought it for him even though he NEVER asked for it, but I was the one that opened it, and I was the one that's eaten half the jar since Sunday. I can't turn him into a scapegoat, especially when he's content to eat healthy non triggering foods. I just can't. That was fucked up. I hope he knows I'm sorry. I've never been a "parent" before, I'm kinda learning as I go.

I won't lie and tell you all that I'm not worried. I won't tell you all there's no way I'll binge again, either this week or this month, or this year. I might. I hope with all that I am I won't, but I might. What I will say is this. I sank further this week than I have since I was in my teens, but I've learned a lot about myself and my weaknesses. I feel actually hopeful as I type this. My goals mean so much to me, I want them more than the air that I breathe.

I'm putting together a little album of thinspo for myself, I realised that I get a lot out of fashion illustrations and moody paintings versus true life photos. Searching for things like that feels almost decadent in comparison to what I would normally search for... like visiting an art museum set up for one. It's peaceful. I'm trying to figure out money situation as well so I can actually get that desk bike I've been lusting after.

I know this is long and you all stopped reading an hour ago lol. I'm glad I had a place to fling all my running thoughts to. I'm getting back up now. I'm dusting myself off. Thank you for lending me your hands to keep me steady.

Goals. Rewards. Breathe in. Breathe out. Be beautiful. Be ethereal. I can do this.

[Tip] Distractions for anyone and everyone
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 17 14:23:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x9ird/distractions_for_anyone_and_everyone/
---
So I'm posting this to share my many means of distraction with people who may find it helpful but also as a way for me to hold myself accountable. I have been b/p nonstop lately and I find the primary cause is boredom. I sat and thought about what I enjoy and what used to keep me busy in the past when I was able to maintain my lowest weight. Some of them you can do entirely at home while others will get you out of the house. Some can last you a lifetime while others will fill up those half hour (or less) spans of time when you just need an immediate distraction. Some od them are dorky so don't judge ha ha

- learn how to play an instrument! Guitar is the easiest to teach yourself - you can nab a cheap acoustic or electric off of Craigslist. There are plenty of resources online to teach yourself. I taught myself piano, guitar, bass guitar, violin, saxophone, flute, and drums. I also play cello but have been playing that since I was 10. It can be frustrating at first but it's so worth it!

- paint. There are many styles out there. Just buy some cheap canvases and acrylics if you're starting out and paint what feels good. You can even just mix paint colors you like then dilute them with water and put them in blobs on a canvas and tilt the canvas around so the colors flow together and create something cool. Look at all sorts of paintings for inspiration! There are all sorts of instructional materials online. Again, it can be frustrating at first but you will learn what you like and improve technique over time. You can even make your own thinspo!

- find sample math problems online. I find mathematics fascinating and it's really fun!

- along the same lines as above, find logic puzzles. I took a logic course at my university and loved it. This is a little harder to learn online but is a really good time waster that will improve your cognitive skills.

- read! There's something for everyone. Many classics are available for free online or through apps for your tablet and phone if you don't feel like shelling out money. Alternatively, if you have access to a library you can find books on pretty much anything. Fiction, nonfiction, history, biography, instructional books; the list goes on and on.

- learn how to crochet. Super easy to start and you can learn new stitches over time so you can create some pretty bad ass things (like a sweater for your favorite mug to keep from burning your hands on ceramic while drinking your tea!) I like to do this while I binge watch some tv show. It keeps me from munching while I watch the show.

- clean. I love love love to clean. I was diagnosed as having OCD (don't exactly agree with it haha) when I was 14. It's so fun for me to go through my closet and get rid of old clothes or to clean out all my extra hair products under my sink. You don't really want to eat when your hands smell like cleaner lol

- research things that interest you, online or at the library. I can spend hours learning about history, space exploration, world cultures, diy natural skin care products, perfumes, flowers, cameras, nutrition, etc.

- look at fashion shows online. Study details and overall looks. Find what draws your eye and think about why and how you can chanel that vibe in your own day to day. It's also great for finding some cool new hairstyles and makeup looks!

- DIY anything! From bras to bicycles. What excites you? What do you wish you could have or do? With the resources of the Internet and a library combined there is seriously nothing you can't do (well, within reason). I like to change the oil in my jeep, work on my motorcycle, make cute decorations out of pinecones, sew my own clothes. If you want to do it then just go for it!

- get outside. I live to hike. Luckily I am very close to many parks with excellent hiking trails and am comfortable with self defense methods. Wherever you live just get outside and explore. Find parks near you or walk to that coffee shop a few miles away. If it's raining throw on a raincoat and hood.

- volunteer! If animals are your thing shelters, vets, and kennels love volunteers. If you have a heart for the homeless find out if you can volunteer at a soup kitchen or just make up a ton of lunch bags with a nice meal and drop it by someone sleeping in a parking lot. More often than not someone in that situation would love nothing more than to talk with you. Sometimes they don't make sense but it's okay C: they can feel your good intentions and appreciate it. Just be careful and bring a friend if you live in a rough area. Also, retirement homes. Those people love to talk and they're funny as hell. They have great stories and just want to chill. If one on one time isn't your thing then learn some oldies and sing for them! Music jogs the memory like none other.

Sorry for the long post - i will leave the list at this for now because it's quite long haha I'd love to hear what you guys do!



[Discussion] Had to make a new account.
/u/shallowmeans [5'4 | 112 | 19.6 | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 14:13:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x9hd8/had_to_make_a_new_account/
---
BF found out.

Anyway, this is day three of my EC, and I wanted to share feelings 'n' such.

Primatene. It makes my heart beat very fast for a while. I'm already kind of an anxious person, and it seems to make me more anxious, but somehow it also seems to help me be more calm, more patient, and seems to put me in an overall more jovial mood. More open to people. No hunger or food cravings when I take it.

Started with one and constant sipping of coffee or tea, but now am taking two in four hour intervals.

Just thought I'd let y'all know how it's going.

recipes
/u/healthforums
Created: Thu Dec 17 13:35:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x9bxr/recipes/
---
http://womenshealthforums.info/christmas-recipes-for-keeping-your-weight-under-control/

[Thinspo] a little collection of thinspo gifs
/u/tinybites [5"6 | 171 | 27.60 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 13:19:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x99k7/a_little_collection_of_thinspo_gifs/
---
http://imgur.com/a/PKW8s

[Goal] Officially down 10 lbs from last week! :)
/u/tinybites [5"6 | 171 | 27.60 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 12:49:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x9590/officially_down_10_lbs_from_last_week/
---
I've been doing so good with not binging and eating minimally. This morning I weighed myself and I'm down 10 lbs from last week. I was so close to breaking my no binge streak last night, (my boyfriend brought home my one true weakness, oreos.) but this is exactly the kind of motivation I needed. :) Just wanted to share the happiness. My goal is to lose 45 lbs by next March and at this rate I think I can do it!

[Discussion] [Intro] Another damn intro, but I just want to say hi :)
/u/wannabeamermaid [5'3 | 112 | 20.4 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 11:42:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x8v67/intro_another_damn_intro_but_i_just_want_to_say_hi/
---
Hello! I've been lurking for a few weeks and thought I would start to join in now.

I've been at a pretty 'normal' weight my whole life, but always hated how I look and wanted to be thinner. I started to lose a bit of weight and grow some muscle a few months ago and it made me happy. Then, I developed bulimia, and I know how bad purging is, so I've been trying to cut down. As of a few days ago I'm going down the restricting and fasting path. I have such a bad sweet tooth and I fucking love food, so it's been pretty hard (I've developed a habit of chewing things, then spitting them out. Does anyone else do this??), especially because it's the holiday season.

I'm in my first year at uni and it's so nice being independent with my food so I'm not forced to eat three meals a day and scrutinised for what I eat. I am also vegan and love to exercise :)

So far, I'm down 10 lbs and although it's hard to kick the cravings, I'm motivated to keep going!

[Discussion] Morning fog
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Thu Dec 17 11:23:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x8s7k/morning_fog/
---
Itā€™s really foggy this morning.

Iā€™m perched on the window sill, wrapped in a quilt. Looking out at hulking buildings rising through the ocean of whiteness. Sneaky fog tendrils are creeping in through the couple centimeters of open window and mingling with the smoke from my electronic cigarette.

Iā€™ll make chai in a little bit; leave off the milk, the sweetener. I havenā€™t eaten since Tuesday morning. I can't just break this spell of peacefulness, of utter stillness. Not now, *please*. Maybe later today. Maybe not.

Have a lovely day, wherever you are.


[Thinspo] Just a skinny girl going out of Mcdonalds (Potato quality)
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 09:46:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x8dgf/just_a_skinny_girl_going_out_of_mcdonalds_potato/
---
http://imgur.com/mmWIJjZ

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 17, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 17 09:02:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x86s4/daily_food_diary_december_17_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 17, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Rant] "You'll look like a skeleton!" aka 'IM AFRAID OF THIN GIRLS' conversation.
/u/brokehungryheathen [5'4" | 133 | 23 | -17Lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 08:23:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x81g9/youll_look_like_a_skeleton_aka_im_afraid_of_thin/
---
My goal weight is at the bottom end of a healthy BMI.

I'm getting there through diet, exercise, and a better understanding of how cravings and calories function.

But this bitch, y'all...

I was at the bar last night and the conversation touched on my goal to lose 20-40lbs.
Immediately the girl sitting next to me puts down her chicken wings (which I thought was the most hilarious icing on the fatlogicy cake) and looks me dead in the eyes...

"Uh.. Seriously? You'll look like a skeleton, no one will want to fuck you, and you'll have no tits! You'll look disgusting."

"Well, actually, that's a healthy weight range for me, because I'm a few pounds from overweight right now. And..."

"NO ONE WILL WANT TO FUCK YOU! You'll have no tits!"

"I actually enjoy flat chests and would rather be thin than overweight."

"No guys want to fuck skeletons!"

"I don't need people to want to fuck me to motivate me. And I think most men would rather fuck a fit girl than a fat bitch."

That shut her up for a second before she went full fatlogic on me and straight up said I was wrong and if guys didn't want to fuck fat girls why did they do it all the time.

Maybe cuz y'all fat girls are the majority and they want to get laid? Don't think us 'skeletons' aren't getting ours just because we don't have pendulous breasts to slap around.

She finished with "Well enjoy your skeleton body. I'm sure if anorexia doesn't kill you the smoking and drinking will!"

I smiled and she moved seats at the bar.

I will enjoy my drink, thank you.

Because I saved up calories for it.

Because I don't want to be fat. And that's how you don't get fat.

[Help] How to get over a cold?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 17 08:10:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x7zop/how_to_get_over_a_cold/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] "Be excited!" Ugh...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 17 08:01:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x7yfz/be_excited_ugh/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] [Intro] Hello everyone!
/u/littlegayalien [5'2" | 178.6lbs | 33.84 | -4lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 06:40:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x7oka/intro_hello_everyone/
---
Hi guys! I found this sub a few weeks ago and I'm so happy with how nice the community is here! I wasn't going to make an intro post because I'm kinda shy and I didn't really know what I'd say anyway; but since so may others are doing it, it didn't feel as intimidating.

Most of my life I've been at a weight that I was uncomfortable with (to put it bluntly I've always been a little fatty, lol). Throughout high school my weight fluctuated from a BMI of overweight to obese. Cycles that I'd try to break out of by fasting which were pathetically unsuccessful and usually lead to a terrible binge.

Last year I started my first semester of college and I had so much anxiety (and no longer had a prerequisite PE class thx) that I ended up gaining more weight, which freaked me out and lead to me purging after a binge. Something I'd never done and upon gaining the experience, decided not to do again.

So, I'm here now. There are a lot of things happening in my life currently that are shitty and beyond my control. I need to prove to myself that I have *something* that I have ultimate control over. And that's my weight. I'm going to show my weight who's boss. :)

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support December 17, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 17 05:02:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x7epr/weekly_emotional_support_december_17_2015/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to /u/InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Discussion] [Discussion] Spectrum of skinny to fit, thoughts?
/u/SoFetchBetch [Height 67.8" | CW 111lbs | GW 109lbs | BMI 16.85 | WL 17lbs | f]
Created: Thu Dec 17 05:02:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x7ep3/discussion_spectrum_of_skinny_to_fit_thoughts/
---
Hey lovelies. I came across [this photo today while browsing reddit](https://i.imgur.com/CqHToD8.jpg) of a girl who changed her body composition from skinny with low body fat and low muscle mass, to fit with low body fat and high muscle mass. I found this intriguing. I don't know who she is but a commenter said she went through anorexia after losing her brother then came out of it through fitness. Though I'm pretty sure she just replaced anorexia with exercise bulimia but anyway..

I assume most people here are aiming more towards low bf & low muscle mass. I have reached my goal weight and realized I'm not happy with just low bf and low muscle mass. I want to add muscle and maintain low fat. Wondering if anyone else has this thought process? Comments? Thoughts? Anyone else hate being/looking skinnyfat?

I wish we had an ED friendly gainit or a proEDleangains. I'm starting to feel like the thinspo I see here is not in line with what I'm aiming for and though the community is awesome and supportive I'm wondering if this is me starting to get better. I don't want to leave :( I love this community but I think I might need to go because I need to start eating better and consistently if I'm ever going to get the body I really wanted all along. r/fitgirls is too muscley and r/thinspo is not enough muscle. Isn't there a sub for girls who are thin and healthy looking? The best I've found is /r/aa_cups, r/datgap, r/THEGOLDSTANDARD r/tightdresses and r/sofuckable but it's all NSFW and super porny. I want some thinspo that reflects my goals. Does anyone know of a place like that? Edit: looks like r/skinnywithabs *might* be a good place to check. Still a lot of shops, porn stuff and big boobs. I am seeking stuff like in r/thinspo but a bit more muscle..

So I guess this is kind of an advice seeking post too. I really want to know what everyone else thinks of all this. Even better if you've had similar thoughts or if you've been in recovery in the past or if you've had your ed for a very long time. I need some perspective and I can't talk to anyone about this in my life. You guys are the best. Hope you all have a great day :)

EDIT again! - thanks to /u/hothouse_flower I have found my inspiration!!! /r/skinnyfit is my new thinspo and I will probably unsibscribe from there but I will stay subbed here because you guys are awesome and I feel really understood and accepted here. I don't wanna leave :3 if I make posts related to my goals in the future I will try to tag them as [skinnyfit] for ease of use. If anyone wants to join in or has a desire to make a separate thread (or even a sub as was suggested) lmk! Maybe it will be something that can help a lot of people!

Here's some cute skinnyspo(? idk what to call it hah) I really liked :) thanks everyone!

[Great side silhouette](http://i.imgur.com/jrCbbuM.jpg)

[Perfect.](http://i.imgur.com/ObNF9Rg.jpg)

[Love!!!](http://i.imgur.com/iqrFgXH.jpg)

[So cute](http://i.imgur.com/Yro2zBt.jpg)

[Maybe a little too muscular but this is great](http://i.imgur.com/coc9Mcv.jpg)

[Discussion] [Another Intro] This sub has gotten so active I had to join in!
/u/Wantminime [5'1 | 148 lbs | 29.2 | -32 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 04:41:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x7cy5/another_intro_this_sub_has_gotten_so_active_i_had/
---
Been lurking here for a few weeks and I adore how supportive and wonderful you all are.

I was never SKINNY, but I was normal/athletic sized. But I've been dating a really overweight person for the past couple years and my weight has just ballooned. I don't mind him fluffy (he's warm!) but he eats in half a meal what I should eat in a day. About 5 weeks ago I got a good look at myself in the mirror and about died. I quit food basically cold turkey right then. I've gone a full 5 weeks eating between 500-900 calories a day, no cheats! I've lost 15 pounds but more importantly I feel FANTASTIC. I feel so in control of myself and my body, and the lower I go each day the better I feel.

I'm a graduate student in the medical field and I feel like fasting entirely might affect my ability to learn large amounts of material so I'm staying away from that. But I feel like if I can keep a consistent ~750 calories every day without binging then it probably equals out. 100 is my magic number right now. I'll re-evaluate then, (I think girls my height look fantastic at about 85).

Anyway, excited to finally have a new account and be able to actually post and get to know you guys :)

[Help] I'm losing it!
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 17 02:10:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x70ft/im_losing_it/
---
I don't know what to do!

Today I ate a hamburger, fries, sub sandwich, tons of chocolate milk, strawberries, etc. I just kept on going. I couldn't stop. I feel like I never will for some reason. I hurt so much like I have an extra 10 pounds in my stomach. Which I do! I keep thinking, ' what if I can't stop?' So I came here instead of getting another glass of milk.

I feel like it's my anxiety. The camper I'm currently living in (it's better than nothing) is leaking hardcore from the rain and a tree limb just fell on top of it. It's scary as hell because I feel like lightning will strike this metal box any second now.

I also think I'm eating so much because I have the option to now. Up until a few weeks ago I was on the street with nothing to eat. No heat. Nothing. Now it's like I have the mindset of 'i can so I will'. I have a small heater so I run it even if I'm hot. I keep chain smoking even though it hurts my throat. I have food so ill eat it even if I don't want to. If any of that makes sense?

I feel like I'm just going to break down. I'm close to tears and just feel so weak and ashamed about the way I'm feeling and reacting to all these changes. When I was homeless I was tough. Everything sucked but I made it work. My SO (whom still had a job and went every day) relied on me to do what I had to for us while he went to his job. I was strong when he felt hopeless. I helped make him positive. And now that he got us out of that situation... I have nothing. I'm the weak girl with anxiety so horrible that I never walk out the door. He takes care of me now. I have no control. I'm weak. I'm nothing. I'm nobody.

I feel stupid for saying I liked the way it was before. But I mattered then. I took care of myself.

I'm sorry this got so long and probably makes no sense. I'll stop.

[Discussion] [Intro] Coming out of lurking!
/u/pepto_bitchmol [5'4 | 128 | 22.40 | -49.5 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 23:23:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x6lw5/intro_coming_out_of_lurking/
---
Hey everyone! I've been lurking here for a few months under another username (which friends and family know of) and have decided to use my throwaway to come out of the shadows :) I'm really nervous about the holidays and thought now would be a great time to participate in the community because you all are so nice and supportive.

Anyways, I'm a 26/f graduate student on the east coast. I've never had particularly healthy eating habits but was within a normal BMI range (around 22 but always felt awful), but when I turned 21 the added alcohol calories made me slowly balloon, first to the 160's, then at my highest (measured) weight of 178 last year (BMI 31.15 -___-). I got my butt into gear and started counting calories almost exactly a year ago, and am now down to my cw of 135.5, yay!

I started out at 1350 cal/day, went down to 1200 for a while, and now strive for 1000. I'm so close to my original gw of 125 (BMI 21.88), it's becoming easier and easier to restrict. I really enjoy the challenge of meeting my nutritional requirements at the lowest possible calorie intake, and right now my challenge is to find a meal plan that goes lower than 1000 :) I'm not really as happy with my aesthetic as I thought I would be though, so I see myself going much lower than my original gw. I suffer from anxiety and losing weight is something I've clung to this past year that makes me feel really in control, it's such a calming feeling. I've always loved the super skinny dainty look, and I've never felt like it was possible to achieve it before now!

Thanks for reading the wall of text, excited to get to know y'all

[Tip] Figured out my binge urges
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|133.5lb|25.6|-25.5lb|F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 22:52:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x6ipu/figured_out_my_binge_urges/
---
You may have seen my [extremely whiny post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wx9cu/i_cant_breathe_right_now_im_so_tempted_to_eat/) the other night complaining about suddenly wanting to eat the universe. (I actually did not binge, btw. I ate two Cheestrings and came in at <500 for that day.) As I said in the post, this was really new for me. I've been restricting pretty low for a few weeks (and this is not my first time doing so) and hadn't had much of a problem.

Well, today it clicked. I had been skipping my yogurt and protein powder for a few days. Today I had it and I am craving-free.

I also haven't had coffee in a while, but my caffeine pills are coming soon! My ephedrine is unfortunately arriving while I'm out of the country, so I won't get any until January :(

[Discussion] "Lovelies"
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -19 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 22:27:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x6g0n/lovelies/
---
I absolutely adore the word! It makes me picture us as a bunch of beautiful girls in leggings and sweaters, or dainty lace dresses.

Lovelies. Love it.

[Discussion] The supplement sale
/u/featherr [5'4 | Female]
Created: Wed Dec 16 21:12:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x67mv/the_supplement_sale/
---
[removed]

[Help] Low calorie and easy to make in a tiny space?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 16 21:04:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x66mc/low_calorie_and_easy_to_make_in_a_tiny_space/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What do you think about the ED to body builder post on r/pics?
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 133 | 19.29 | -9 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 20:47:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x64ke/what_do_you_think_about_the_ed_to_body_builder/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3x432n/an_inspirational_life_transformation_this_girl/

Lying for attention and people with fake accounts
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 20:37:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x63ap/lying_for_attention_and_people_with_fake_accounts/
---
By fake account, I mean people who come here saying that they have a BMI of , and they post everywhere to other subs to get people to tell them how unhealthy and underweight they are. You all know who you are. If you're lying about your weight for attention, then this applies to you. If not, disregard this.

I don't know what fucked up satisfaction you get by doing what you're doing, but take that shit somewhere else. We can tell that you're fake. It's very fucking obvious because an eating disorder isn't just a number on the scale. It's an attitude, it's a way of thinking, and it's a fucked up existence.

That you go around the Internet trying to get people to tell you how underweight you are, how unhealthy you are, how you're too skinny, is fucking disgusting and trivializes the reality of eating disorders.

I'm not saying that you don't have an eating disorder or that you don't have your own issues. I get that this is the Internet, and you're free to lie, but we know when you're lying, so please just stop. It's disgusting that you come to this sub and exploit people who actually have legitimate disorders just so you can get attention. I don't care if you do this in other subs, don't do it here.





[Discussion] New here, quite excited.
/u/pinkmetalpanther [Height 5'4 | CW 139 | BMI 23.7 |-7lbs Gender F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 20:19:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x6174/new_here_quite_excited/
---
Hello lovelies! I am new to this sub but very much look forward to the support and inspiration provided. More from me at some point!

<3

[Discussion] Favorite zero calorie drinks?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 20:02:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x5z1i/favorite_zero_calorie_drinks/
---
I was wondering what people's favorite zero calorie drinks were?

I like diet coke, tea, mio sport and water. But I'm looking for new ideas!

[Discussion] What do you guys do for exercise?
/u/Eatme_WithaFork [5'3" | 112.5# | 19.9 | -5# | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 19:32:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x5v75/what_do_you_guys_do_for_exercise/
---
Jw. I used to run a lot, and I've had long periods of no exercise at all, but now I alternate between easy yoga and light BWF 6 days a week.

[Help] Boyfriend wants me to put weight on, advice?
/u/mdthrowawayma [5'9 | 95lbs | 14.29 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 18:27:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x5mdc/boyfriend_wants_me_to_put_weight_on_advice/
---
[removed]

[Help] Trying not to hyperventilate
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 116.6 | 19.63 | -39.4 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 13:55:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x4jiy/trying_not_to_hyperventilate/
---
I'm at the doctor's office, finally got an appointment to discuss changing my meds since I feel horrible. Nurse weighs me. Looks at my chart and pauses for a long time. Says incredulously, "that can't be right...last time you were here in June we had you down as 162 lbs? That's less than six months!!!" I'm sure my face turned bright red and I'm shaking right now. I just rambled something about getting healthier and eating cleaner, some bullshit like that. I thought for sure she was going to go into a lecture about losing weight too quickly or something. She didn't but I'm waiting for the doctor now and I hope she doesn't have the same reaction :/ uggghhhhhhh I hate people commenting on my weight so much :( I never know what to say. What do I say?!

[Rant] Had my worst binge so far
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11Ā½ | 158 | 21.65 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 13:21:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x4ee9/had_my_worst_binge_so_far/
---
I'd like to think I've done so well these past couple of months... lost 71lbs, never binged more than like 500-600 kcal (which is a lot, but manageable)

But today, idk what the hell happened. Something in my head snapped, I lost all control. Had pasta carbonara, chocolate and chips... probably adding up to like 3000kcal all together.

And fuck me, it didn't even taste good! I couldn't even get to enjoy it like a "treat". My belly hurts, I feel sick, and I am trying to think of a way to work this off... Gonna drink tons of water (I like to drink water when my body feels "impure") and do some yoga before bed.

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Andreea Stancu
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 12:45:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x48z1/thinspo_andreea_stancu/
---
http://i.imgur.com/9waaQet.jpg

[Goal] And this is why I will succeed now and not when I was younger.
/u/Eatme_WithaFork [5'3" | 112.5# | 19.9 | -5# | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 12:17:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x44sj/and_this_is_why_i_will_succeed_now_and_not_when_i/
---
When I was younger, all I wanted was to be anorexic. I had a lot of pain and wanted validation for that pain - a visual clue to how I felt inside, so someone would understand that I was desperate for help. But more than that, I wanted to be thin. That was my biggest wish. I didn't want to hurt myself. I was never anorexic. I couldn't starve myself for more than a few days, because I didn't want my bones to weaken, or my heart to go, or my hair to fall out. I became bulimic instead. And then for a few years I ate almost normally.

Now my biggest desire is to hurt myself, and none of that stuff scares me. Being thin would just be a bonus, but it's not my goal. I don't want to be skinny, I want to drop dead or end up in a hospital. I want my heart to slow. I want my teeth to fall out and my skin to yellow. I want my bones to break.

And now starvation comes easily to me.

[Help] Drunk binges and emotional breakdowns....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 16 12:06:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x438c/drunk_binges_and_emotional_breakdowns/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What are your safe foods?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 10:41:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x3q2t/what_are_your_safe_foods/
---
I'm trying to compile a shopping list so I can add more variety to what I eat daily.

[Tip] Low-carb beats low-fat in a meta-analysis of 17 clinical trials (x-post /r/science)
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Wed Dec 16 10:15:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x3m5z/lowcarb_beats_lowfat_in_a_metaanalysis_of_17/
---
http://news.meta.com/2015/11/05/lowcarb/

[Rant] Don't be afraid to log your binges
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 133 | 19.29 | -9 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 09:39:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x3gth/dont_be_afraid_to_log_your_binges/
---
I don't know why I thought I could handle making Christmas cookies yesterday.

Usually when I binge I don't log it, feel like all is lost and then don't bother logging for the next few days, eat like a fat ass, feel miserable, ect., until something prompts me to get back on track.

Yesterday started off well, but then I made cookies and ate like 5 of them. Then I ate dinner. Then I went over to a friend's to watch the debate and he had fucking cookies. And I ate 4 of them. And drank a beer. Then I came home and stuffed 3 more cookies down my throat before I went to bed.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

But today I got up and decided I wouldn't let it ruin me. I did 2 hours on the elliptical and then sucked it up and logged yesterday's binge. I ate 2,600 calories, 1,700 of which were cookies and beer. Gross.

With a TDEE of 1,700 calories and an additional 300 burned on the elliptical yesterday my binge put my 600 calories over maintenance. Still disgusting but not nearly as bad as I thought. With my 900 calories burned this morning my binge is erased and I have a 300 calorie deficit to start my day.

It still sucks that I binge and I feel like shit about it. But logging it definitely helped me stay on track.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest :)

[Discussion] 8/40 Fasting starts today!
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 156lbs | 24 | - 24 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 09:26:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x3ewm/840_fasting_starts_today/
---
Today I am starting a new regiment of 8/40 fasting. Eating 12:00 pm to 8:00 pm on day 1, fasting on day 2. I'm hoping this will end my most recent binge eating. I ate 2000 kcal for the last 3 days straight. I fasted last Friday for the first time and it felt great! The weight loss was meh, but I liked the control it gave me. I wrecked it over the weekend but I know I can and I'm looking forward to my new schedule.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 16, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 16 09:02:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x3bdo/daily_food_diary_december_16_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 16, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] Reached my LW today :)
/u/skin_ny [5'9.5" | 113.6 | 16.19 | -44 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 08:54:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x3a50/reached_my_lw_today/
---
Couldn't eat much yesterday because I felt really bloated, and I woke up this morning to find that I'm 114.8! Not only did I reach a GW but I've also never been below 116 (this summer) Just wanted to share!

[Discussion] Sharing and Intro, Mom encouraging Ed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 16 08:50:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x39kq/sharing_and_intro_mom_encouraging_ed/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] I was late to work today because I was binging. I didn't think it would get this bad.
/u/crc10320 [5'1'' | 127 | - 53 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 08:15:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x34me/i_was_late_to_work_today_because_i_was_binging_i/
---
I was planning on fasting but just killed 620 calories before work at 9am and was late, even took food to eat in my car :( I work 11 hours today and no access to food so that's good, and I plan to hit the gym after work. This is the first time this has happened and it worries me. I also just recently got into a relationship and it's been really difficult. Shout out to yall that have a SO, I'm impressed because I'm struggling to keep under my calorie limit. I've been trying to up it at the gym to help. I still want to lose at least 15 more and I'm losing at a snails pace. I'll definitely be coming here more for support because I really need it. Edit: Boss has been noticing I don't eat for a while and have lost weight, they offer me a free lunch when I work long days but I never take them up on their offer and just say I brought my own lunch. My boss just made me go out to eat with him today. The sandwich was about 800 calories. I hate myself right now I want to cry, this was not my plan. God he forced me to eat, it makes me so mad. It's none of his business what I eat or don't eat.

[Discussion] do you think that someone can be too thin? like in a way that you would rather that person to be less skinny.
/u/skinnyb0y [5Ā“8 | 112 | 16,84 | -21lbs | male]
Created: Wed Dec 16 07:46:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x30sh/do_you_think_that_someone_can_be_too_thin_like_in/
---
i think there is people who are too thin, but i noticed fellow users from this sites (and other PRO-ED sites) think you can never be too skinny.

[Goal] Broke out of my little plateau! šŸ˜Š
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Wed Dec 16 06:28:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x2rs4/broke_out_of_my_little_plateau/
---
My fast broke me out of my plateau! Down to 189.2 lbs šŸ˜ŠšŸ˜ŠšŸ˜Š under 190 for the first time in over a year šŸ˜Š

[Discussion] How do you guys and gals feel about protein bars?
/u/sincereenfuego [5'9" | 135 | 20.2 | ? | M]
Created: Tue Dec 15 23:35:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x1sre/how_do_you_guys_and_gals_feel_about_protein_bars/
---
Specifically [quest bars](http://www.questnutrition.com/protein-bars/)?

I eat half of one on my way to work and wash it down with some coffee and these two things together fill my stomach. This also gives me the feeling of being chubby even though its like 75 calories from the bar and only coffee. I love them soo much! They also have some great flavors!



[Discussion] Reviving the selfie/progress pic thread!
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 22:19:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x1kcm/reviving_the_selfieprogress_pic_thread/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Color thinspo.
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 22:02:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x1ic0/color_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/7mWiB

[Thinspo] The first gif is my favorite, but here's a small collection of thinspo.
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 21:43:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x1g0c/the_first_gif_is_my_favorite_but_heres_a_small/
---
http://imgur.com/a/8p5H4

[Help] "Go to hell, you fat bitch."
/u/chodebrach
Created: Tue Dec 15 21:37:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x1fdd/go_to_hell_you_fat_bitch/
---
Aaaaannnnnnnd welcome back Ana. I know I have disappointed you, what was said in anger by someone I thought loved me, is true. Lovelies, don't let them "heal" you. I put so much disgusting food in my mouth for too long. I binged without purging for far too long. I am quite a bit overweight, so I am planning three days at 1,000 then three at 900 then at least a twenty four hour fast, then eating at 800 until I can handle the old familiar 600 a day. I will get thin enough that the word fat won't hurt anymore.

[Thinspo] My reflection balloons, no exaggeration, no funhouse mirrors here, nothing that made me fat but me.
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 21:31:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x1ekv/my_reflection_balloons_no_exaggeration_no/
---
http://49.media.tumblr.com/4a41a537a33add02df18cfada3c7b6d2/tumblr_np8innA5TR1u9fcm7o1_500.gif

[Rant] I feel like losing weight is all I have to live for
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Dec 15 20:42:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x18ff/i_feel_like_losing_weight_is_all_i_have_to_live/
---
It's the only think I care about now. Fuck is this a new level of depression or just a realization of my true self? I don't know. I'm drunk & on Percocet. I just don't care about anything else anymore. At least this I can control.

[Help] Bingey bingey
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 20:30:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x16v9/bingey_bingey/
---
I'm literally like sitting here eating quinoa. Will I purge? Will my roommates hear me again? No one knows.

The good news is if I eat 1000 calories of quinoa now it'll be gone and all I'll have left is liquid foods so I'll be forced to fast.

I'm miserable.

I'm pathetic.

Oink. Oink. Oink.

EDIT: None of this coddling shit. Tell me I'm disgusting and fat. Tell me I'll gain weight. Make me feel worse. It'll help me.

[Discussion] Want to lose about 5 pounds by New Year's Day
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 15 19:59:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x12t9/want_to_lose_about_5_pounds_by_new_years_day/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Perfection
/u/knot_not
Created: Tue Dec 15 19:30:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x0yw8/perfection/
---
http://imgur.com/5Qi38VW

[Help] Porn and Boyfriends [long, I'm sorry.]
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 18:33:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x0rau/porn_and_boyfriends_long_im_sorry/
---
So, me and my boyfriend have a complicated history with porn. I used to be totally cool with it, and actually watched it with my partners on multiple occasions (I'm bisexual.)

When me and my current boyfriend met, neither of us were looking for a serious relationship. This gave us a kind of rocky beginning as we realised we had strong feelings for each other, but were fighting with the desire to stay pretty low-maintenance.

He has a porn addiction. He used to look at porn while I was around like all the time. it was almost constant and he tried to hide it but did a terrible job. It was *constant.* And the women he was looking at are *impossible* like porn-perfect-plastic-surgery-hot, or just generally petite and gorgeous, things along those lines. I had many conversations with him about this pleading with him to stop.

I told him I had major issues with my body, and that this was really damaging to my self esteem. He said he'd stop (eventually did, but it took a *long* time) but every time he did it again, he said he lost self control.

Eventually when we were on MDMA one time I told him I genuinely hate myself, and when he looks at porn around me he's telling me that I'm not good enough for him and that I'm ugly. Due to the added empathy of the M, he finally stopped haha.

For the past two months he's been doing no porn / no fap because we had a system in place where I'd asked him to tell me when he looks at porn because I don't want to have sex with him after he does. It made me uncomfortable given our past with it. But every time he did (he cut way back, it was once a week or every other week, occasionally more.) I would get really upset and kind of shut down for the rest of the day.

We thought this would help me because if he stopped looking at it for a while, we'd have a refreshed view of things and be able to talk about it with emotions a bit farther removed. But it's just getting worse. Every time I find out he's looked at anything racy I get totally triggered and have an anxiety attack / feel terrible about myself / won't eat for two days. He has admitted that when he stumbles across things NSFW on the front page of Reddit (like GW girls posting on RGD) that he thinks he'll like, he's saving them for when he starts looking at porn again.

Every time I hear about something like this I'm pushed into a total spiral of self loathing and anxiety. I feel like shit. I know I'm fat and ugly but I feel like he's shoving it in my face by saving up all these other girls he'd rather look at naked than me, because he knows we won't be having sex when he looks at them.

How can I stop this? I feel totally crazy. Like as if my body issues weren't bad enough as it is, this kills me and he's not even looking at anything right now. What can I do?

[Thinspo] Delicate (B&W Album Pt. 2)
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 18:15:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x0otk/delicate_bw_album_pt_2/
---
http://imgur.com/a/33KA6

[Thinspo] Isabel Lucas (Album)
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 17:54:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x0lz3/isabel_lucas_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/h6Nig

[Rant] Hello, newbie post of some slam poetry. PS. I'm not PROED, sorry, I'm just here because I have the disorder.
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 17:42:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x0kfc/hello_newbie_post_of_some_slam_poetry_ps_im_not/
---
Better read aloud.
Fun fact. On paper, I've always seemed fine. The weights, the blood pressures, the heart rates, the potassium levels, you get the picture, always perfect, exemplary. This came out of doctors' mouths as "you're lying to me."
And it feels like my whole life I've been trying to prove that I am not a liar. To match my body to the thoughts inside of me. Because no one truly believes what they cannot see. The physicality of something is what makes it real to people. So, these thoughts inside of me, they don't exist, unless there are scars on my wrist, unless you can feel my ribs when you hug me. They are the things you can imagine, but laugh to think they could be real. That's why when I feel these things, I don't tell a soul. Because talking to someone who is whole is like trying to explain the idea of death to a child. They can think that it is a bad, bad thing, but because they have never seen it, they don't really believe.
They don't really believe that you vomit unspoken words because the toilet is a better listener. They don't believe that you haven't ingested a calorie since last Friday. They don't believe that you hate yourself, because hey, you seem fine.
No matter what I do to prove them wrong they will never be satisfied until I am chained to a hospital bed being fed by a tube in my nose because the scale finally shows a number too low to be acceptable. My insurance company wants me nearly dead before I get any help, because the things inside my head have to be concretely written in my blood, the scars have to be bigger, my waist smaller, my head, well they don't give a fuck about the thoughts in my head. And you wonder why I think I'm not truly worthy of happiness.
My high school therapist, hair as red as the blood I spilled down the drain the night before looked at me and said, "Well, you're not alone." My permanent therapist said, "You are not a special snowflake." My college therapist had the fucking guts to say to me, "Plenty of people walk around each day with depression, and bulimia, and don't need as much support as you are asking for." This was after I told her I didn't feel safe, and thought that maybe I should be somewhere where I couldn't put myself to sleep forever. READ: You are not worthy.

[Discussion] And another one creeps from the shadows.
/u/prettythin [5'5" | 106 | 17.64 | -39 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 16:43:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x0c31/and_another_one_creeps_from_the_shadows/
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Hi, I've been lurking for a few days now and figured I might as well try and be social. So yeah, a little about me:

I've struggled with my body image and food for as long as I can remember. I also have bpd and severe anxiety. At 22 years old I just clawed my way up from homelessness and while I technically don't have a house.. I'm comfy enough. I recently weighed myself for the first time in a year and everything just started coming back full force. Now that I have little to worry about, I have too much time to worry about food all over again.

So yep. That's me. Hello!

Also! I just made a myproana. If any of you have an account, we could be friends? I'm not to sure how that site works yet. And I'm not certain how to flair a post on here either?

[Discussion] Hypermetabolism/Thermogenesis issue?
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 16:22:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x093l/hypermetabolismthermogenesis_issue/
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Has anyone had this issue before/yet? I looked it up and it's apparently a thing that occurs after prolonged restriction. In summary, when you've restricted for a while to a low BMI, and then suddenly eat, your body will turn the food into mostly heat and you will end up losing weight despite eating 3000+ calories.

I'm not completely sure why I'm experiencing something similar. I have to see my doctor in two weeks, and I usually eat a lot more the weeks before in order to gain water weight/fat and have higher vitamin levels in order to not raise concern. However, this time it doesn't seem to work, and I've lost a few pounds from last week when I first tried it. I have the night sweats and all. It's irritating yet interesting but I care more about restricting than the actual weight loss.

[Discussion] Hi everyone! (Newbie intro)
/u/bonedust_pale [5'|GW 94.5|-49.9|F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 15:37:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3x01zr/hi_everyone_newbie_intro/
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I have been lurking for months now. I feared someone finding and reading my future posts, but my need for this community right now is worth it. You guys are very supportive of one another and I feel like I can be honest here with you and with myself.

It all started when I was around 13. I had to live with constant physical and emotional abuse. I guess it wasn't enough, because my "parents" decided to starve me. Most of the time, I was lightheaded and weak from only eating a few things from my friends' lunches. My stomach shrank and I learned to ignore the hunger. My mind wasn't disordered about eating yet, but my body was getting used to extreme restriction.

In high school, I got attention from boys, quickly made new friends, and excelled the fuck out of all my classes. School was a good way for me to avoid home, so I gave academics (and music and guys and friends) all my energy. Girls asked me about my diet, people would joke about closing the window or I'd fly out. I loved how I could run up to a bf and have him catch me in the air and hold me up as if I was weightless. I loved being able to get into tight spaces and reach things no one else could. I loved feeling accepted and free to talk to anyone at school. At 5 feet tall and about 82 pounds, I felt hot and for the first time, happy.

When I was taken into foster care and placed in a group home, I had access to meals, but continued to avoid them. Food never made it into my budget once I turned 18, and I didn't care. I started living on my own and decided fuck cooking, I'm going to only have coffee, shakes and only blueberries, peach yogurt, sushi...Eat less, but only what I desire. So I stayed at about 86 pounds for a long time. My place was a water bottle/coffee cup graveyard and I had tons of energy. I promised myself that I'd never get fat. I couldn't. Fat fucks are the worst. Why eat when I can fit into 00!?

Fast forward to a few years ago: I got extremely depressed, gained weight. I felt disgusting, I'd hide in hoodies even in the summer. I felt like I didn't deserve anything for being an ugly fat piece of shit. I hated myself. Any negative thoughts I ever had before about anyone else's weight were aimed at myself, 5000% more extreme. Even though my husband was loving, I thought he hated me as much as I did myself. Why wouldn't he!? I'm shit.

One day, I just realized I either have to fix it, or kill myself. So I started restricting and dropped about 44 pounds. I throw packaged food into the trash so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it and my so would think I've eaten it already. I started drinking more and more water daily, started three journals for my weight goals and projections. Got my doctor to put me on bupropion. Recently had a 72 hr water fast, and am trying to eat only in front of my husband at dinner so he doesn't get worried. I still fuck up for sushi or sweets, but I have this bowel-wrenching laxative I drink if I feel I ate too much. I still have a lot to lose. But this out-of-it fuzzy head feeling, this hunger, this coldness...It feels like home.

I don't want to fuck up. I want to be thin and happy! I want to fit all my 00 that are boxed up in the closet.

I hope to start participating in the discussions now. Sorry my intro is so long :(

[Discussion] I love all the new introductions!
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 15:07:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wzxcj/i_love_all_the_new_introductions/
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This sub is a huge amount of support and motivation for me, it's wonderful to see so many people becoming active! Hopefully we can all continue posting and commenting more frequently. I know personally, sometimes I get to this tipping point where I'm about to make a stupid decision, and I try to get to this sub right away. The more new posts I can read, the better!
Thanks to all you lovelies who contribute here <3

[Help] I've made a huge mistake.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 14:57:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wzvsq/ive_made_a_huge_mistake/
---
[I drank 14 oz. of pickle juice.](http://imgur.com/1SdePSU) Why did I do that. That is more liquid than my stomach can comfortably hold and more sodium (almost 4x) than I should consume in a day. Now I am going to retain a stupid amount of water and I have to eat a baked potato for dinner to increase my potassium. That's way more calories than I wanted to eat for dinner. So mad at myself. So fucking stupid.




Anything I can do in the meantime to keep the water retention at a minimum?



**EDIT:** Whoever is downvoting my comments- I'm sorry that you're upset about me taking advice from Internet strangers? Please enlighten me as to how I may please you. /s

[Rant] Possibly going into treatment earlier than planned
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 13:21:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wzgf9/possibly_going_into_treatment_earlier_than_planned/
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I was placed on a wait list for a treatment program at the end of November. During my phone interview they said that it would take 3-4 months for my assessment appointment and that I would probably start treatment in April or May. But since then I have lost quite a bit of weight and I have developed problems with my heart. I had to go to the ER last week because of low blood pressure/high heart rate.

I got a call yesterday that now my assessment appointment is at the beginning of January. I think it means that I will be going into treatment much sooner than planned/expected. This is making me really anxious. I really hope I can hit my goal weight before I go into treatment. This also means that I will most likely have to drop out of school next semester, which will suck a lot.

Urg, this has made me so much more anxious about everything. I really do want to recover, but knowing that it's coming faster than planned terrifies me.

[Discussion] Miscellaneous Thoughts
/u/Phiohtrue [5'4.5 | 129.0 | 22.14 |- 18.2 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 12:48:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wzb3v/miscellaneous_thoughts/
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I usually lurk, although I did introduce myself a few months ago!
After finishing this semester (finally) I can get back to restricting and exercising 100%. Super excited.

I'm not tiny yet. I'm very much in the healthy weight range. It kills me because I still feel the same as I did at my highest weight, but everyone says I look different.

My roommate is living thinspo. She is the thinnest thing anyone has seen, but because her whole frame is just narrow, she doesn't look like she has a problem. From living with her, she doesn't seem to have a problem. Just a good metabolism and self-control. Doesn't exercise, eats healthily. It seems almost effortless.

Which is kind of funny, because one night recently she asked me "wait, have you eaten yet? Are you going to eat?" And this was from someone who's probably been accused of having an eating disorder many times, it sounded almost accusatory. I said, "yeah! of course!!" as if it were obvious. I then went to "get dinner" and instead met up with my fwb for some calorie-burning fun.

So many of my friends are extremely thin, but no one really questions why one of them always runs to the bathroom after ice cream, or whether another has eaten at all that day, but they're jumping down my throat for losing a few pounds and still staying in the healthy weight range. It's at once frustrating and endearing.

Another friend jokingly said, "wow, so you *only* ran 5 miles, mhm" when we were talking about exercise routines and getting in shape for Halloween (hehehe). I laughed along, but that night I did break the 5 mile mark for the first time, and now I'm working on breaking 9 miles.

I haven't felt real hunger for a while. I do get cravings, and sometimes I give in to them. But nowadays I can't tell when I'm really hungry and when I'm alright. It all feels the same. Maybe it is the same.

I went running recently, and my friend, a guy, pointed to the girl ahead of us who was really quite thin, amazing thigh gap o.m.g., and he said, "now that's an eating disorder," with pity, mild disgust, and a twist of humor. I didn't disagree, but I hated how he summed up her entirety as "an eating disorder", not even a person *with* an eating disorder. We later talked about the difference between each gender's ideal body type for themselves, and the body type that the opposite sex (speaking in very general cis terms here) finds attractive. He later admitted that he had some body dysmorphia himself - his ideal is 200 pounds and less than 10% bodyfat, instead of his current, I'm guessing, 170 pounds/soccer/swimmer-body build. While my goal is 100 pounds and 10% bodyfat. Sometimes I want to tell everyone how I feel, and at the same time, I'm terrified of anyone actually catching on. I've done a great job of hiding my restricting, using running as the reason for my shrinkage (and it has helped a lot! makes me feel more energetic too).

Stay strong <333 We can do it.

[Discussion] Intro from a girl who NEEDS to make a change.
/u/maya7888 [5'6" | 160 | 26 | -5 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 12:02:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wz3px/intro_from_a_girl_who_needs_to_make_a_change/
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Hey everyone!

I've been lurking for a while. I've struggled with bulimia for many years. I got it under control when I switched to Keto. However, the past couple of months I've been dealing with depression and unemployment and I went back to binging and purging. I went from 128 lbs to 165 lbs. I stepped on a scale two nights ago and was absolutely horrified by how much I let myself go. I haven't even had sex with my boyfriend for the past 2 months because he claimed he isn't sexually attracted to me anymore since I've gained so much weight.

Anyways, I absolutely love the community here. You guys are really supportive and I am trying really hard to make a change. I just wanted to say thanks for being here.

[Rant] I can't do this..
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 12:01:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wz3oj/i_cant_do_this/
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Ugh, I feel terrible. I wanted to go on a two-day fast starting on monday and I start out pretty good, until 1 pm/2 pm when I start eating. Yesterday AND today. I ate even more today. The last few months I'm not really losing anymore.

I remember I used to lose pretty good, not tempted to eat anything bad, no binges and reaching my goal weight pretty fast without even paying attention to it. But I have a severe depression and anxiety disorder and I quit school. I don't have any friends in the area and I'm not doing anything at all. I could exercise my ass of in all that time, but my depression don't want me to do anything at all. I eat more, because I have to lunch with my mom three times a week anyway. I wish I could just get a routine like I used to have when going to school. I feel terrible and I don't want to leave the house anymore.

[Discussion] First liquid fast, first post here!
/u/k-paxian
Created: Tue Dec 15 10:43:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wyr8s/first_liquid_fast_first_post_here/
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I'm 41 hours into my first fast. I've only had liquids (coffee, green tea, 0 cal energy water) since 7pm Sunday. I feel weak and spacey and I love it. My goal was 24 hours, after a bad weekend. I'm gonna see how far I can push it.

[Discussion] Are any of you guys extremely picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 15 09:49:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wyioo/are_any_of_you_guys_extremely_picky_eaters/
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[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 15, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 15 09:02:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wybeo/daily_food_diary_december_15_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 15, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Intro from a long time lurker...
/u/iswearimalady [5'8" | 195.6 | 29.42 | -72.4# | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 09:01:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wyb9w/intro_from_a_long_time_lurker/
---
Hey everyone, I've been lurking here on my main account for quite a while now, and figured I might as well take the plunge an join in on the discussions. A little about myself:

I'm 19, fat as fuck, and trying to get my shit together. I've struggled with BED for my entire life, and b/p for about 5 years in middle/high school. I always binged more than purged though, so my weight ballooned up disgustingly high. A few months ago I went back to purging, and struggled through a month of vicious b/p cycling until I finally just got fed up and started obsessively tracking my food so that I stayed under 1500 calories a day while still purging. Obviously my weight started dropping, and I have slowly converted to just restricting, and now eat around 600 cal a day. It's been about 5 months and I'm down 60 pounds. I hate myself and I just wanna be tiny. This sub has helped me so much to stop binging and purging on a daily basis.

I don't know if I belong here, or if you even want a fat bitch like me around, but I hope I can stay.

Some goals:

CW: 208.6

GW: 125

UGW: 115

I'm sorry this was so damn long

[Help] looking to get a new scale, what's your favorite?
/u/tinybites [5"6 | 171 | 27.60 | -15 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 08:31:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wy6je/looking_to_get_a_new_scale_whats_your_favorite/
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My scale is getting old and acts weird sometimes, I have to weigh myself 3 times to make sure it's correct. Sometimes it will jump up a pound, then I'll get off and step back on and it's down a pound. I just was a very accurate reading but I don't want to spend a ton. What scale do you use?

[Rant] Been having a long ass break without feeling guilty. I hate myself.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 15 08:23:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wy5ij/been_having_a_long_ass_break_without_feeling/
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So I've been eating like a normal person for one month or more. Ugh. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. My stomach is not flat anymore.

This is all because of my mom. She's a teacher and now it's school break so she just cooks and cooks and cooks. And cooks. And get really upset when I don't eat. I love her very much so I feel bad and just eat.

But right now I'm so done with eating so I think I'm just going to pretend eat but actually throw the food away lol. Sorry mom but I need to be happy.

Can't wait when she starts working again so I can go back to skipping meals.

[Discussion] Calmly starting my weekly fast.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 05:24:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wxjja/calmly_starting_my_weekly_fast/
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So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so last night,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I sat in the bath for like an hour, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I went to bed. Today, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Have a good day everyone and take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

[Rant] i cant breathe right now, im so tempted to eat
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|133.5lb|25.6|-25.5lb|F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 03:28:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wx9cu/i_cant_breathe_right_now_im_so_tempted_to_eat/
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ive gone weeks without feeling like this and all of a sudden i feel like if i dont eat something right this minute im going to die

but at the same time i feel like if i *do* eat something i'll just go back to being a regular fatass again and eating whatever i feel like all the time

and i feel like by being tempted i've already failed. i should be above food. if i ever even want to eat im doomed to be fat forever.

i think partly im afraid of being thin. i just hit the 130s for the first time in years and im so afraid of men looking at me, im afraid of being talked to and touched and scrutinized. i already got leered at the other day and im STILL fat so how will it be when im thin??? fat me is so comfortably invisible.

cant i just eat one cookie or some sane amount of food and restrict again tomorrow??? "ill start again tomorrow" is the mantra of failure isn't it. but why, why do thin girls i see in public get to eat donuts and pizza and drink ice caps and i have to starve and still be fat. why do i have to pass through "healthy" between "fat" and "scary thin". why cant i be dead already. why.

[Rant] I was putting splenda packets in my Starbucks coffee this morning...
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 15 01:03:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwxvz/i_was_putting_splenda_packets_in_my_starbucks/
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when this woman sitting at a nearby table put down the phone she was talking on and said "Look I have to say this or I'll regret it, I've struggled with body image my whole life... blah blah. It's like she was trying to make herself feel better for having her probably full-fat latte. She wasn't even having a conversation with me and using me as a sounding board. She wasn't obese but definitely overweight and insecure. I just said thanks, put on my coat and left. Never taking my coat off in public again.

I'm not even obvious ED-thin yet so just goes to show how FAT my city is. To be precise, I live in Toronto the greatest concentration of fat tumblrinas on the planet.

So there's some reverse thinspo for everyone. Who would want to be an overweight woman who gets insecure seeing someone thinner than her put zero calorie packets in her coffee.

Has anyone had any weird encounters with strangers? This was my first and I'm still in shock. Must confess it felt good though, good motivation to restrict.

Calmly starting my weekly fast.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 22:28:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwgf5/calmly_starting_my_weekly_fast/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Calmly starting my weekly fast.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 22:28:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwgbq/calmly_starting_my_weekly_fast/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 22:08:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wweu2/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Calm start to my weekly fast
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 22:04:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwea4/calm_start_to_my_weekly_fast/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Calm start to my weekly fast
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 22:02:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwe0o/calm_start_to_my_weekly_fast/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 22:00:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwdmv/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:56:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwct7/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbyl/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbye/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbyb/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwby9/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwby3/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbxv/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbxm/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbxf/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbx7/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbwv/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbwo/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbwe/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbw5/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:54:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbvh/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Are any of you guys picky eaters?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:53:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwbdr/are_any_of_you_guys_picky_eaters/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with PB2. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Calm start to my weekly fast
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:48:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwa8z/calm_start_to_my_weekly_fast/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Calm start to my weekly fast
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:47:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wwa1c/calm_start_to_my_weekly_fast/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Calm start to my weekly fast
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:33:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ww2uk/calm_start_to_my_weekly_fast/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Calm start to my weekly fast
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:26:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ww02g/calm_start_to_my_weekly_fast/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Starting my weekly fast calmly and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:25:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvzeb/starting_my_weekly_fast_calmly_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Any other picky eaters here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:25:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvzdx/any_other_picky_eaters_here/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast with peanut butter, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast with peanut butter. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk, but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Starting my weekly fast calmly and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:24:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvz6s/starting_my_weekly_fast_calmly_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Starting my weekly fast calmly and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:24:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvyza/starting_my_weekly_fast_calmly_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Starting my weekly fast calmly and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:21:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvy7v/starting_my_weekly_fast_calmly_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Any other picky eaters here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:21:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvy4q/any_other_picky_eaters_here/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Any other picky eaters here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:21:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvxzk/any_other_picky_eaters_here/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Any other picky eaters here?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:20:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvxv9/any_other_picky_eaters_here/
---
I have been a picky eater all my life, long before my ED came along. When I was little, my mom fed me everything, but as I got older, I would start to gag on food. Nothing tasted good. I couldn't eat any fruits or vegetables, and the only meat I enjoyed was chicken (mainly nuggets, though). I was forced to eat other meats, but I did not enjoy it. I hated all nuts and seeds, despite loving peanut butter, and although I loved milk, I hated all other dairy products like cheese and yogurt. My diet mainly consisted of spaghetti hoops, toast, chicken nuggets, and chicken noodle soup. All the rest of my diet consisted of junk food, mainly potato chips and Coke. When I was in my mid-teens, I learned about how the meat, dairy, and egg industries treat animals, and it disgusted me. When I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian, they said no, and forced me to eat meat. When I turned 17/18, I became a vegan. My diet didn't really change, I just switched to vegan versions of the things I already ate. However, as of now, the only foods I eat are vegan chick'n strips, fries, plain veggie burgers (just a patty and a bun), fishless fillets, spaghetti hoops, vegan jelly cups, ramen, and toast. I hydrate on Diet Coke alone, other than the one cup of coffee I have a day with a tablespoon of soy creamer added. I can drink soy milk and the sweetened chocolate almond milk (which is junk food, anyway), but I don't like to waste calories on drinks when my favourite drink (Diet Coke) is calorie free. I was just wondering how common are shitty diets like mine amongst people with EDs, and if anyone here is like it.

Starting my weekly fast, calm and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:20:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvxr5/starting_my_weekly_fast_calm_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Starting my weekly fast, calm and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:18:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvx3x/starting_my_weekly_fast_calm_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Starting my weekly fast, calm and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:17:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvwsy/starting_my_weekly_fast_calm_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Starting my weekly fast, calm and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:17:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvwdt/starting_my_weekly_fast_calm_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Starting my weekly fast, calm and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:17:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvw8v/starting_my_weekly_fast_calm_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

Starting my weekly fast, calm and relaxed
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:16:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvvzt/starting_my_weekly_fast_calm_and_relaxed/
---
So, I'm going to try to do a fourty-hour fast each week (8pm on Monday to noon on Wednesday). this is only the second week,but it went well last week, so I have high hopes. ive decided to treat this like a self-care routine. so tonight,after my dinner, I did a stretching routine I found on youtube.then I ran a bath, I lit candles, I put good smelling oil in the bathwater. I'm currently sitting in the bath, just relaxing in the warm water. Then I'm going to go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll just consume tea with a bit of honey, and plenty of water. I'm looking forward to it. Good night everyone, take care of yourselves, in whatever ways you can.

I can fit into XS skirts!
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:03:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvldo/i_can_fit_into_xs_skirts/
---
For the first time in, I think, years, I can fit into American Apparel XS skirts.

I can fit into XS skirts!
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Mon Dec 14 21:02:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wvl66/i_can_fit_into_xs_skirts/
---
For the first time in, I think, years, I can fit into American Apparel XS skirts.

My collarbones are so disappointing
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Mon Dec 14 18:35:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wv7t0/my_collarbones_are_so_disappointing/
---
http://imgur.com/y4Fv1iE

[Discussion] memories, misty slender-colored memories.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 18:25:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wv6i7/memories_misty_slendercolored_memories/
---
does anyone else have a memory of when they were at their low weight, that motivates them? mine is below (warning for mention of sex).



i don't recall most of the time i was at my lowest weight (117). i recall hitting that weight, and i recall one very clear day of being that weight. i was visiting a guy friend who i had a **major** crush on. i remember getting changed in the bathroom at work, in a vintage dress. my mom drove me to the bus station so i could go visit him. we went out to dinner, we went out dancing. i felt so so sexy. i had never danced like that before, grinding and moving to the music with him felt just amazing. then we went back to his dorm room, and we had sex. the sex was like the first (and only) time i felt like i was a part of two sexy people coming together to have sex.

later on, he chose to date someone else. someone thinner than me, even at my lowest weight. *sigh* what are you going to do? she was nice enough, not her fault. and he had every right to choose who to date. but that one day was amazing.

[Discussion] [FYI] Do your research, guys. Vitamins and supplements (aka #notALLvitamins)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 18:21:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wv615/fyi_do_your_research_guys_vitamins_and/
---
I keep running across these broad, sweeping generalizations that tend to be posted in reply to people who are seeking help and/or advice from this sub. I'm sitting here shaking my head every time OP accepts these statements as irrefutable truth, and I just want to remind everyone how important it is to **[make sure you check your facts](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mx3vq/warning_beware_of_false_medical_adviceinformation/)** before you take anyone's advice, no matter who they are or how good their intentions.

Seriously, people, Google this shit before you just take it as sage advice:

> Make sure you take your vitamins with some sort of fat

and

> You should be taking vitamins with food. That's really the only way they'll be effective.

Neither are exactly true... it really depends on what vitamins/supplements you're taking. For example:

- Not ALL vitamins are fat-soluble! Vitamins A, D, E, and K dissolve in organic solvents (aka fat) whereas the B vitamins and vitamin C dissolve in water
- most all of your vitamins (B-Complex, Vitamin E, Vitamin C) can be taken with food (<-- again, this is just such broad statement...)
- SAM-e should be taken on an empty stomach at least 30 minutes before you consume food
- calcium (more than a small amount) may interfere with iron's absorption, so you shouldn't take the two together
- alternatively, vitamin C helps increase the absorption of iron
- calcium is best in smaller, more frequent doses and the form of calcium you're taking matters (calcium citrate can be taken with or without food; it doesn't require food or stomach acid for absorption BUT calcium carbonate requires the presence of food for better absorption)
- Vitamins A and D rely directly on magnesium to carry out their functions
- Vitamin A supports the intestinal absorption of zinc (zinc is absorbed about five times more effectively from animal products than from plant products)

Etc.

Similarly, when it comes to EC stacks and, specifically, the Primatene/Bronkaid hack for buying ephedrine legally in the US:

- Primatene contains ephedrine hydrochloride (HCL)
- Bronkaid contains ephedrine sulphate

You can find people who will argue whether one or the other is better for stacking but here's the bottom line: The big difference with ephedrine sulphate is that it contains less actual ephedrine per gram compared to ephedrine HCL (77% vs 82% of ephedrine by weight, respectively). [Here's an example](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wp7gk/im_sure_this_has_been_posted_before_but_heres_an/cxys9us) of the kinds of information we all should be seeking when we decide to take ANY vitamin or supplement, especially ones that can kill you. Reputable and informative sources, people! [Do your research](http://media.giphy.com/media/83QtfwKWdmSEo/giphy.gif).

[Help] Problem area- Thighs
/u/heytiny [4'11" | 98 lbs | 21.02 | -5 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 18:21:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wv5zv/problem_area_thighs/
---
Hey guys I just have a quick question.

What are some ways to get rid of inner thigh fat. It's my biggest problem area and the most stubborn part of me, that never seems to want to really slim down.

I'm wondering if there are any ways to work on this area.

[Rant] Self-Thinspo is so bittersweet....
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 201lbs | 36 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 17:26:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wuy4f/selfthinspo_is_so_bittersweet/
---
I wanna post thinspo of my younger self (at my LW of 98lbs I had beauuuutiful collarbones) on here but I'd be way too scared of someone recognizing me. Although at this point in my life if someone did recognize me I wouldn't be too bothered because I'm not at risk of being exposed to anyone important (aka I'm not underage, don't go to high school where they could put me in treatment, parents are faaar, etc.)

I seriously looked so good at my lowest weights. The best pictures of me both make me hate myself for almost doubling in size and make me so hopeful/motivated to look like that again.... I can't stop going back to look at them all the time either way.

Anyone else in my situation (failed recovery or other weight gain) do this?

[Discussion] Caffeine As An Appetite Surpressent
/u/abluerxe [5' 3.5" | 128lbs | 22.3 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 15:53:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wujh1/caffeine_as_an_appetite_surpressent/
---
For those who use caffeine as an appetite suppressant (whether through tablets or coffee), how much do you usually take? I have 200mg tablets that I cut into 100mg, but maybe 50mg would kill my appetite for a few hours?

[Discussion] Another intro
/u/Skinnywolf9 [5'4" |130.4 | 22.82| -4| F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 15:31:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wug26/another_intro/
---
Figured I should join the club and stop lurking. Time to join the conversation!

I have gone through every type of ED at some point in my journey. EDNOS. Ana. Ana with b/p tendencies, bulimia, even a bit of BED. It's been a long road. I have been suffering with this since 16 (I'm 29 now), and got to my lowest weight 1.5 years ago for my wedding. I was very underweight, and could feel its effects. Hair loss, shitty nails, tired, weird heartbeat. But I didn't care. I was so proud of myself. I went to the gym all the time, purged everything I ate, but was finally somewhat happy with my body.

I let go a little after my wedding, but jumped back on the ED ship and dedicated my time to the gym again through summer of 2014. But then, in fall of 2014, things became hard. Not to get too much in depth to a complicated past, but my left hip bone was breaking down due to a disorder called Osteoncrosis I developed due to cancer treatment in my teen years. I had surgery in the past to preserve the hip, but my quarter was up. I went from working out 5 times a week to struggling to walk through the grocery store. Without the gym, my weight increased. I became depressed and felt defeated, so my will to restrict diminished. I gained 25 lbs. I hated myself...couldn't look in the mirror without feeling ashamed.

Now I'm back! I had a hip replacement 4 weeks ago and am feeling better! I can move around better and be active. I also have 4 weeks to sit at home and not eat. Work makes it hard to restrict because it requires high concentration. But now it doesn't matter, and I just want my control back in a life where I get so little :(

[Discussion] What is your daily calorie limit goal? What is your BMR?
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 14:42:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wu84p/what_is_your_daily_calorie_limit_goal_what_is/
---
I aim to stay under 700 cal/day. My BMR is 1680 cal.

[Discussion] DNP
/u/WoWchick96 [5'8 | 134 | 20.6 | -12 lbs | LW: 98 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 14:03:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wu1ov/dnp/
---
Saw someone post on here about DNP-- or mention it in a comment. Does anyone have any experience with it?

[Discussion] Do you suffer from any other disorders?
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 12:29:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wtme7/do_you_suffer_from_any_other_disorders/
---
I have diagnosed depression and ADHD, which I'm currently taking medication for. My eating disorder, if that's what this is, is not diagnosed. I think the depression plays a heavy impact on my relationship with food. It's been much better since I started receiving treatment, though. The medications suppress my appetite, and I don't feel the need to binge eat nearly as often.
Does anyone else have overlapping disorders?

[Rant] My best friend knows and gave me an ultimatum. Ulterior motives?
/u/Sknie
Created: Mon Dec 14 12:24:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wtltv/my_best_friend_knows_and_gave_me_an_ultimatum/
---
He's a very thin gay dude, we've been best friends for four years. When we met I was obese, and two years into our friendship, I lost tons of weight by counting calories and exercising everyday. Everyone I know has been really encouraging and he was for a while, but as I've gotten smaller and smaller he's become more negative. He was the one who started pointing out my disordered eating habits and mindsets, that I didn't know were disordered or strange at the time. I didn't entertain the idea, I didn't even consider he might be right at first. Then several months later, things had slowly began to escalate. My restricting was getting really low, my thoughts and emotions about food and weight and size had become really irrational and chaotic, I had started purging, and I realized how fucked up my relationship with food and my body image really has gotten, so I started looking into EDs, and holy shit. He was right, I did *a lot* of the things listed as signs/symptoms. HOWEVER, I am NOT underweight, I still have some weight to lose, which is why I never even bothered to consider it. How did he know so much about EDs anyway?

SO. I told him everything (we generally tell each other everything), and he gave me two months to get help or he was going to tell my family and stop talking to me. I am scheduled to see a psychologist for the first time this Wednesday (12/16/15). Honestly, one of the reasons I am ok with going is I keep getting caught in b/p cycles which has me gaining weight, and making me an emotional wreck most the time, and physically exhausted. I never used to b/p. I want to get back to just restricting, even if it's at a slower rate, as long as I'm back to losing, because otherwise.. I don't know. Not going back to losing weight isn't an option. I just need to get my shit back together.

The thing is, HE has fucked up eating habits and ideas about food too, plus he's just generally insecure and competitive. Last night I had him over for dinner and I brought out a bag of these veggie straw things for him and my brother to eat because dinner wasn't going to be done for like another hour, and he says "Oh, no. I don't want to eat those before dinner I eat SO LITTLE anyway, that I'm afraid if I snack on those beforehand I won't be able to have any dinner." and he is always overexercising, and needs to workout RIGHT AWAY after eating anything he doesn't consider "safe" and he gets dizzy and has even had a couple situations where he'd passed out. Anyway, since I've told him two months ago, he's been talking about when he used to be chubby (he was never actually chubby), and how much skinnier he's gotten and how his clothes are all too big for him and he wears xs now, and how worried he is about certain foods he's eating, all while telling me I need to eat more and not obsess, while he goes on obsessing.

I feel like he's trying to make me fat again, while getting smaller himself. I mean, I think it's likely he's struggling with an ED too, and he's being competitive, because he tends to be really insecure and jealous when people are more successful than him at things he cares about. He's acknowledged many times that he hates when his friends are more successful than him. Which makes me think maybe he wanted to be friends with me because I was so fat in the first place and maybe it made him look better? He's already even "jokingly" mentioned that he's replacing me with this girl he's met at his work who is "the funniest person he's ever met." etc. etc.

I don't know. I'm just really frustrated. I don't know if I'm being crazy and twisting things around in my head and interpreting them wrong and if he's actually just trying to be helpful or if he's trying to sabotage my progress to make himself feel better under the guise of being a good friend.

tl;dr - My best friend who has disordered eating habits himself (that he doesn't acknowledge) and knows about mine and is threatening to tell my family and stop talking to me if I don't get help and start eating more. I don't know if he's actually trying to help me or if he's really trying to make me fat again by pretending to be helpful, because he's generally insecure and competitive.

I don't know what to think or do. This is kind of just a rant, but if anyone has advice or insight, I'd really appreciate it.

[Rant] Why can't I keep ONLY what I want?!
/u/yugogrl2000 [64" | 158.9 | 27.27 | -5 | Demigirl]
Created: Mon Dec 14 11:05:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wta8d/why_cant_i_keep_only_what_i_want/
---
I really hate that it is not possible to keep weight ONLY where you want it (boobs, I am looking at you). At 120 pounds, I have an A cup. At nearly 160, I am pushing a C. I just want to shrink down my thighs and stomach, and maybe my butt a little (I have a nice butt...dont want it to shrink too much either). It is so unfair! Any time I starve, my body cannibalizes all my hard-gained muscle. Body, why you no act right?! *end rant*

[Rant] I think my roommates know
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 10:44:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wt6w0/i_think_my_roommates_know/
---
They heard me vomiting. I cleaned up, but I guess not well enough. One of them confronted me and said it looked almost like someone had poured food down there. I told them I had drank more than I meant to. He acted like he believed it.

Now I am so worried, they saw me buying all this junk food. But I am a size 0/2 so they know there is no way I am eating it at a reasonable rate. I am vegan, so I don't know if that makes them suspicious or not.

I guess I just need to start talking to them about food more. Normally people I have lived with aren't as perceptive. I feel like I need to start lying to them like I would to my parents.

I am just so scared. They know my brother, and I feel like they might tell him. He knows, but he doesn't know how bad it is. I just feel like these are the roommates that will ruin it all for me.

I have been this way for as long as I remember. I started purging when I was a child. I would go play with friends specifically at meal times and tell my parents that my friends' parents had fed me lunch. It's who I am. If I have to go to treatment I don't know what I would do.

I am just so so anxious about this. I should be studying for finals but I can't focus.

If they just google a list for "signs of an eating disorder", I satisfy almost all of the lists. I am so scared.

[Thinspo] Thinspo gifs part 2
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 09:42:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wsx8y/thinspo_gifs_part_2/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Xpj8H

[Discussion] Curiosity: Collar bones or thigh gap? Chest bones at a normal bmi? Weight loss?
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 09:20:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wstok/curiosity_collar_bones_or_thigh_gap_chest_bones/
---
I was curious about some things: In what part of your body you realize the weight loss first? What do you see to show up first, collar bones or thigh gap? Is your chest bone visible at a normal bmi?

Thanks for answering.



[Thinspo] Ballet dancers
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 09:14:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wssub/ballet_dancers/
---
http://imgur.com/a/WIZKs

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 14, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 14 09:02:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wsr1d/daily_food_diary_december_14_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 14, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] Home on break from university
/u/MollyManiac666 [6'0 | 155 | 20.21 | -10 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 08:53:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wspsl/home_on_break_from_university/
---
I just got home for winter break, and I don't know how I'm going to continue to lose weight while I'm here. My mom loves to make meals that are dripping in butter and practically force feeds me. Do you guys have any tips for refusing food/ restricting without letting your family notice?

[Rant] Had to go see my doctor about my ED or I'd lose my job. It was... Hard.
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 126lbs | BMI 19.67 | Weight Lost: 19.5lbs | Female]
Created: Mon Dec 14 05:40:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ws20c/had_to_go_see_my_doctor_about_my_ed_or_id_lose_my/
---
My manager knows about my ED because in the 11 months I've worked for them, I've had 31 sick days, most of which caused by fainting, anxiety, breakdowns after a morning weigh.

The only way to keep my job was to admit a mental illness so they are obligated to make adjustments for me. My work is in a worldwide bank so there are are a couple of neat benefits. One is free counselling, since office jobs tend to come with depression.

I called their careline and they told me their counsellors are kind of budget counsellors. They're only trained to deal with depression, anxiety etc. And wouldn't be any help with my ED.

They gave me links to professional psychiatrists specialising in ED's but I don't have health insurance or my own money for therapy.

So my boss gave me the ultimatum. I'd been hit hard by another cold in three weeks. Last one took me a week to shake. She could tell I wasn't taking care of myself, although contacting the careline was a big step. I had to prove I was trying to get better or they can't continue pandering to me while I self destruct on their time and money.

So I went to my doctor. He was over an hour late to see me and when I explained my situation he said, very matter of factly, "You said you "had no choice" and was "told to come here". It sounds like you don't want to get better."

I said I don't think I do. It's ruining my life. Food is all I can think of. My weight inexplicably going up leaves me in shreds. But I fear gaining weight more than I fear getting worse.

He looked at me with complete indifference and kicked a scale towards my feet. I wish I was joking. I'm very obviously a healthy weight. Granted I was wearing a big coat and I didn't have any new clothes that fit me so my jeans were incredibly baggy but there was no need for the scale and how blunt he was with it.

I told my fiancƩ this part and he was livid. He's trying to put in a complaint for me after what happened next.

I broke down and started shaking. I was crying really fucking hard and begging a grown man, like a child, to please not make me. I'd do anything but that. I weighed myself this morning, I'd write it down but please don't make me weigh myself in front of him.

He looked angry and said "You need to get counselling or you're going to lose your job. You came here for help now are you going to let me do my job or not?"

I took off my coat and wished I could have taken off my leather workers boots. I was terrified they were adding like a 1/2lb onto my weight. I hid my face when I stepped on and he just said "Very good. Now, onto the table please."

I was confused why I needed to get on the examination table but I sat and he told me to lie down and lift my shirt up. What the actual fuck?

He said restricted eating can mess with the stomach and he just wanted to feel if mine was okay. He gave a a few quick prods and rubs with his fingers that lasted only a few seconds and announced I felt fine.

But I felt defiled and violated. Forced to weigh myself for this man and let him see my naked stomach. To touch and press down into the remaining fat. I felt sick.

He booked me in for blood tests to check for any lasting damage I've done. "I'm not expecting to find anything bad, but I'd rather be 100% sure." He was speaking more softly now after the weighing and stomach exam and his eyes had more sympathy. "I've booked you in to this clinic at the hospital. They're lovely people. Really sweet. Here's their number. Tell them they're getting a letter about you soon and ask what kind of help they offer. They're sweethearts."

"Call -------- clinic, they'll book you in for the blood test. Here's the slip to give them to tell them what results I need. I want to see you again before you go to therapy okay?"

I was a bit dumbstruck by everything and as I was leaving I noticed he had a framed picture on the wall of three young women posing for a family photo, obviously his daughters. Wondered how he'd react if any grown man made them break down like he made me.

The clinic to book my blood test is next door to my mum's house, so I popped in on the way.

Let's see how everything goes. I still don't want to recover and for that reason I don't see how there's a chance I will. I'm afraid my fiancƩ will continue to find me undesirable (he has a preference for small, skinny, flat-chested women and I'm tall and busty with wide hips (great for thigh gaps, awful for looking petite)). I'm afraid no one will find me desirable really.

Who wants, to quote my fiancƩ, "big, cumbersome... Messy boobs"? Who wants the girl who's too tall and too wide and unfeminine? Ask anyone what feminine means to them and they'll say small, dainty, petite, light, pretty etc. Well I can't control my height or bone structure but I can try to be as close to feminine as I can be.

There's a girl I used to work with who all the guys fancied. She's short and sweet and pretty and (was. She's become very pear shaped after moving in with her boyfriend) very slim. If I can be even slightly like her I'd be happy. I'd be what people want.

So yeah. Ramble ramble ramble. Watch this space I guess. Hard times ahead.

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! December 14, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 14 05:02:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wryku/weekly_stats_update_december_14_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for December 14, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] Please help me
/u/jellicoe_road [5'10" | 152.2 | 21.80 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 03:33:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wrqum/please_help_me/
---
I just purged. Again. My throat is bleeding when I spit and it hurts to swallow. I don't think I can keep doing this anymore. I feel like I need to end this now and I can. I have 600mg of prozac that can hopefully kill me if I take it all. I've already had some alcohol and I have some more to swallow the pills.
I just need to know that this is the right thing to do, I'm worried about people finding me later and I don't want to wake up to find out that it didn't work. My family will get over me, and my friends will be better off

[Rant] Ashamed of eating in public
/u/secretskinny [5'8.5| 116 | 17.4 | -18 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 14 00:35:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wratd/ashamed_of_eating_in_public/
---
I'm feeling so incredibly fucking triggered right now. I have a lot of anxiety about eating in public, but today I thought I would be brave by eating a muffin in public at my uni. I was just kind of nibbling on it a little bit at a time , trying to focus on my marathon of finals studying at the same time. I had eaten no more than a third of it when I noticed the girls at the VERY NEXT table were laughing at the way I was eating while imitating the way I eat by tearing off tiny bites (in typical ed fashion). There's no way they could have been taking about someone else because they looked right at me while they did it. I was so fucking embarrassed and ashamed by feeding my fat face that I threw the rest away and have been fasting ever since:/

That's what I get for trying to be "good" and try to keep my blood sugar up ( I'm prone to hypoglycemic fainting spells.) Oh well, at least I'm finishing the day with fewer calories than I anticipated. Plus I've been shamed out of eating in public ever again. Yayy me i guess.

[Help] Best diet teas/pills/anything?
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sun Dec 13 22:56:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wr0q0/best_diet_teaspillsanything/
---
Hey guys! Sorry if it feels like I've been spamming the place lately, I only discovered recently so I'm a little excited I guess.

Anyways, despite having an ED since forever, I've never actually used any aids along with my fasting. I'm thinking of ordering a few to try off Amazon, does anyone have any favorites to recommend?

[Rant] all i have is my ED
/u/fattygod [167cm | 55kg | 19.84 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 13 22:54:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wr0gl/all_i_have_is_my_ed/
---
I worked so hard this semester to get all As at my new academy and didn't. I just wanted to do well and I studied so hard and didn't reach my goal. I can't handle not reaching my goal I don't know what to do--its so embarrassing working so hard for something and not getting it.
I just barely got in the school and already felt like a failure when I got here--and I've already messed up my GPA the first semester! Its times like these when I realize how pathetic I am and how reliant I am on my ED. I can't make other people care about me, or like me, or see good qualities in me, I can't make myself prettier, i cant make myself likable, and I cant make myself talented or smart. All I can do is try my hardest, but if thats not enough, then it sucks to suck for me, right?
I can always restrict how much I eat though. I can always restrict my intake. I can always punish myself for fucking up through not eating. If I try hard enough, I can be skinny. Its all I have. Its the only thing I /can/ control.
:( I want to be more than this but I'm just no good at anything!
Anyway, sorry for bitching to you guys. I'm just so disappointed right now I don't even know who to go to or what to do. I used to be able to pride myself in being a good student but now that I don't have that all I have is my eating disorder and I'm so afraid and disappointed in myself.

[Discussion] Weekly Meal Plan
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 13 21:47:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wqs9n/weekly_meal_plan/
---
So this weekend didn't go as well for me as I had originally envisioned. I had hoped to fast completely on at least 2 of the days and failed in that, so I'm not allowing myself any food except what I have just planned for the whole next week.

/u/somanyjellyrolls shared with me a recipe for low-cal soup and I'm going to alternate between one serving of that for dinner and a salad for dinner so my boyfriend doesn't get mad at me for eating just salad all the time like he has been. So it's either one of those servings (est 90-110 cal?) or 1 cup romaine lettuce with 1tsp olive oil and 1tsp balsamic vinegar. That's all I'm allowed to eat until next Sunday. The rest is coffee and tea and so help me I will not give in to any stupid temptations that may present themselves, and I will keep up my workout schedule as much as I may bitch and moan about it. Anyone else have a strict meal schedule for pre-holiday restricting?

[Discussion] Why don't I ever see thinspo of women who aren't white?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 13 21:40:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wqr7m/why_dont_i_ever_see_thinspo_of_women_who_arent/
---
I'm white but I feel like we're over-representing whiteness a bit in the bodies we fixate on.

"food" for thought.

[Thinspo] Album of back thinspo
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sun Dec 13 20:33:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wqipn/album_of_back_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/4F8gp

[Discussion] What do you guys wear to look thinner?
/u/yakeiram
Created: Sun Dec 13 20:27:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wqhzq/what_do_you_guys_wear_to_look_thinner/
---
Kind of an irrelevant question--I know the point of ed's is we want to actually BE thinner. But when you don't feel like you're there yet and you want to feel good about yourself like you're reaching your goal, or you want to get those "you look so thin" compliments, how do you guys dress? Like I have a pair of jeans that make me look really thin so I always wear those when I need that extra motivation.

[Discussion] I'm so stressed. Help with bingeing?
/u/anxietyforever [5'6 | GW 100 | EDNOS]
Created: Sun Dec 13 19:59:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wqeac/im_so_stressed_help_with_bingeing/
---
NOTE** I fucked up the title and I don't need help with bingeing, I need help PREVENTING binges. ty peace

I was originally supposed to move out of my friends apartment on tuesday but because the lease shit got messed up I can't move out until next monday. On top of all that shit I've been bingeing like crazy and am borderline about to jump off the balcony to my doom. I just want to get out of this apartment and be alone and do my own fucking restricting thing without having to worry about triggering my friend. groans Does anyone have any cool fangled ideas to prevent binges? I'm thinking about getting zero/diet soda and just using the carbonation to fill me up. I've been drinking water, of course, but with all this stress my brain is all out of whack and I fucked up really bad. Like I don't even want to weigh myself bad because I definitely gained a shit ton.

[Discussion] What's the most weight you've lost and how long did it take you to lose it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 13 19:28:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wq9y4/whats_the_most_weight_youve_lost_and_how_long_did/
---
I've lost ~60 pounds in about 5 months through extreme restricting. I don't really think I'm capable of doing that again.

[Discussion] Hydroxycut
/u/featherr [5'4 | Female]
Created: Sun Dec 13 18:11:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wpzix/hydroxycut/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Intro
/u/lightandempty [5'2.75" | 109.8lbs | 20.19 | -15.2 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Dec 13 17:38:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wpuuw/intro/
---
Hey guys, so I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm not quite new here, I've been around for a couple of weeks, but I decided to change my username because I got paranoid since people I know IRL know my old username.

A couple years ago I struggled with severe depression, and had some disordered eating as a side effect. I swung between orthorexia to full on restrict/binging. Then I got better for a little bit.

Now I've relapsed, and although I'm depressed again there's a lot more focus on my eating I feel. The problem is much worse. I restrict, then binge, then restrict/purge, then binge. Sometimes I can feel myself straying back into ortho territory.

I'm 5'2.75" and I used to be around 125 lbs before all this went down. I've lost about 15 lbs, and I'm hoping to lose more. For me, this is about being in control, being skinny and pretty and wanted, and having a distraction from the terrible reality of life, among other things.

I'm glad I found this sub!

[Discussion] I'm sure this has been posted before, but here's an EC stack question-
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 13 14:55:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wp7gk/im_sure_this_has_been_posted_before_but_heres_an/
---
Bronkaid or Primatene? Which do you prefer? What are your experiences with either or both? Also, caffeine pills or coffee?

Any input appreciated, I'll be testing EC out for the first time. Thanks!

[Discussion] Big bones is a myth (xray skeleton of 65 stone man)
/u/cranberrycrush
Created: Sun Dec 13 13:20:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wostl/big_bones_is_a_myth_xray_skeleton_of_65_stone_man/
---
http://imgur.com/Ez8mDzD

[Discussion] Beginning a 5 day fast tomorrow
/u/abluerxe [5' 3.5" | 128lbs | 22.3 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 13 12:47:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3woniv/beginning_a_5_day_fast_tomorrow/
---
I'm beginning a 5 day fast starting tomorrow! My last meal will be tonight and won't eat until Saturday. I really want to reset my eating habits, especially with the Christmas coming up. Comment if you want to join so we can be in this together :)

[Thinspo] Emma Watson
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Sun Dec 13 12:03:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wogr9/emma_watson/
---
http://i.imgur.com/NInUQ2A.jpg

[Goal] 36 hours and counting. 0 calories. Not sure if I can succeed at 72 with Monday coming.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 13 10:54:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wo6hu/36_hours_and_counting_0_calories_not_sure_if_i/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] does anyone else plan binges?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 13 10:34:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wo3eu/does_anyone_else_plan_binges/
---
if so, how do they turn out? do you end up eating less than planned or obligated to eat more?

i'm planning to binge on christmas since i'll be alone (omg sad) and no one can watch me being a pig.
the guilt factor never goes away, but i can't live without planning a binge in the future or i'd just binge all the time. i treat them like necessary punishment for thinking greedy thoughts. after this one, i'll binge on my birthday in February.


i can't wait to stuff myself with ice cream and pizza :))

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 13, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 13 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wnqmo/daily_food_diary_december_13_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 13, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Looking for mfp friends
/u/tinybites [5"6 | 171 | 27.60 | -15 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 13 06:00:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wn6x3/looking_for_mfp_friends/
---
I use myfitnesspal and I think it'll push me to do better if I know there are people looking at what I'm eating if that makes sense. Drop your usernames below if you wanna be friends on there. ā˜ŗļø

[Help] Any people from Europe?
/u/Ultimatedream [5'6 | 126 | 20.3 | -39 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 13 05:17:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wn31s/any_people_from_europe/
---
Or The Netherlands for that matter. I wanted to know what supplements you use and where you buy it. I see a lot of references to US brands and stores, but I obviously can't shop there, haha. Let me know!

[Discussion] What is your fasting routine? How do you make the most of it and what things do you start/stop doing, if any?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 13 04:32:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wmzdf/what_is_your_fasting_routine_how_do_you_make_the/
---
[deleted]

[Help] What is our backup when reddit eventually takes us down?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 13 00:31:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wmgbq/what_is_our_backup_when_reddit_eventually_takes/
---
I am so happy to have found this sub and am so scared to have it taken away from me.

What do you think about having some kind of flair for rants, but the happy/manic/dancing-around-in-your-underwear type rants? Any ideas? [On phone, will flair later]
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Sat Dec 12 23:57:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wmd68/what_do_you_think_about_having_some_kind_of_flair/
---
I saw in someone's (Sorry! forget who...) post just now that 'rant,' with its negative connotations, didn't quite fit as a tag for their excitement. I also never know what to tag bursts of happy writing and usually end up going with Discussion (sometimes it fits; sometimes I'm definitely just rambling into the void of the internet).

So. What do you think about having some kind of positive version of that flair? Any ideas for what that could be? I don't know...Happy Rant? (I am not creative.)

Of course, you think we have too many flairs already, we could also just leave them be.

[Thinspo] B&W thinspo anyone?
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sat Dec 12 22:49:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wm620/bw_thinspo_anyone/
---
http://imgur.com/a/oRMZz

Anyone want to fast with me?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 12 22:33:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wm46w/anyone_want_to_fast_with_me/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] So... HI! New member checking in
/u/NoImReallyOkay [5'6" | 179 | 29 | 1 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 22:33:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wm43x/so_hi_new_member_checking_in/
---
So basically, my short backstory is:
I was treated for ana @ 9(ish), had BED problems in high school/college, recently got on a different antidepressant and have relapsed into an anti-food mentality. AMA! I love the community.


[Thinspo] Tiny Thighs, Tall Socks (Album)
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 21:52:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wlzst/tiny_thighs_tall_socks_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/M2QJy

[Help] Anyone here in California...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 12 21:45:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wlz1b/anyone_here_in_california/
---
Who might know the legal scoop or availability of bronkaid/primatene? I haven't gone to my local drugstores to search them out yet, but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask the lovely folks on this sub. $70 for primatene on Amazon seems ridiculous.

[Goal] 50 days down
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 21:04:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wlu15/50_days_down/
---
I did it. I've been 50 days with no binges! I have to thank klairvoyant for my new happy mood. You had mentioned that you get a higher happy manic feeling when restricting this long. I felt so drained I thought maybe something was wrong. so I went to the doc and turns out one of my meds was making me have crazy low blood pressure and was the main cause of my pessimistic doomed outlook! I got an adjustment a week ago and I'm so much better now!!

50 days guys!!! And only 7 pounds from my Xmas goal of 120's. I know I can do it!!! (BF shares my computer right now so I can't flair or tag or adjust my weight flair but I'm stoked and making progress!)

[Help] Trying to go to the gym more, only problem is BF is coming too...help!
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 201lbs | 36 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 19:58:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wllkb/trying_to_go_to_the_gym_more_only_problem_is_bf/
---
So BF wants to bulk up. I'm fine with that. He's bony as fuck. Love him, but he is. We both have gym memberships and we want to start going together. I thankfully talked him out of making me do protein powder shakes with him because I make my own green smoothies. He wants me to also accompany him in taking "pre-workout" (from what I know about this it doesn't seem like anything negative at all) and I don't know a lot about that. Do any of you ladies take "pre-workout"? Is it a powder or pills? If it's something you have to drink that I can't mix into my smoothie, I don't know if I can handle that. I might not even be able to handle it if it has calories whatsoever. He also wants to start taking a multivitamin. I prefer gummies (solid vitamins on an empty stomach make me puke, but gummies and capsules don't) but again, the calorie issue. I would post this in xxfitness but I feel like they're all going to try to convince me it's okay to take in extra calories for these benefits. They don't "get it" hahahah :p Help me !

[Rant] So I haven't measured myself in a while...
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sat Dec 12 19:30:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wlhv6/so_i_havent_measured_myself_in_a_while/
---
And I've got a 23 inch waist! I haven't checked in a long time and for a little while I let myself go so I was pretty surprised. Still have a ways to go though. I'm officially 30-23-26, and I'm not stoked about the bust. I have a really broad back so I feel pretty disproportionate.



Edit: not even sure what flair to use for this, so I'll just say it's a semi-positive rant?

[Discussion] how long do your plateaus last?
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 18:59:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wldt4/how_long_do_your_plateaus_last/
---
looking at the same poundage for the 4th day in a row (while keeping up my restricting), i'm about sick of it.

i know this happens to nearly everyone at some point, but i just want to get moving towards where i'm headed. and while standing still is better than gaining, it's still frustrating.

anyone else dealing with a plateau/have dealt with one? how long do yours last? let's commiserate.

[Discussion] What are your resolutions for the upcoming New Year?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 18:50:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wlcnw/what_are_your_resolutions_for_the_upcoming_new/
---
Years, it's a few weeks away but it never hurts to start a bit early so you're not too overwhelmed.

Some of mine include:

* Eating real food as much as possible - I've been known to just used oatmeal packets when regular oatmeal is healthier and just as easy.

* Cut out all processed sugars - It wreaks havoc on my mind and body.

* At least one hour of exercise daily - Even a light walk is better than nothing, but I have my gym pass again.

I love writing lists and resolutions and starting over and all of that. I am a little bothered the new year starts on a Friday (much neater on a Sunday or Monday), but no problem.

For those of you who like visual aids, 'Productive' is one of my favorite daily habit apps.

[Help] Confused
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 12 18:23:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wl92n/confused/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Watching season 1 Vampire Diaries to distract myself during all day fasting. Nina Dobrev is so incredibly delicate and graceful...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 12 17:27:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wl1if/watching_season_1_vampire_diaries_to_distract/
---
http://i.imgur.com/N6X1yxl.jpg

[Goal] Oh my god you guys
/u/juniorkickstart [5'4" | 145.3 | 25.38 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 16:36:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wku6f/oh_my_god_you_guys/
---
Uhh I just weighed in under 140 for the first time in ten years. I am so stunned. Did not expect this kind of rapid progress. Holy shit. Fasting is magic.

[Tip] Lost 2.4 lbs overnight.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 15:53:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wko33/lost_24_lbs_overnight/
---
Thanks, castor oil! Hi, it's me again- the girl who seems to only post about pooping.





This was my second time using castor oil and it was *definitely* not as bad as the first time. I took 2 oz the first time I used castor oil and this time I only took a quarter of that dose (15 mL). I put it in my [Promixx](http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00A9XMNMQ/ref=pd_aw_sim_79_2?ie=UTF8&dpID=41pt0ZqtZ3L&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL100_SR100%2C100_&refRID=1MP4YZ8YPYQHH1RV176K) with 8 oz of apple juice and let it blend a bit then plugged my nose and downed it. My stomach was empty and it took NINE FREAKING HOURS for it to take effect. I woke up at 4 am, spent a half hour on the toilet and that was that. No painful cramps or anything. Going to Target today to get some of that Smooth Move tea you guys keep recommending and probably some Metamucil and a multivitamin, too.




**EDIT:** Got the tea! I'll save it for when it's been a few days. Also got the metamucil. Forgot the multivitamin but I'm sure I have one around the house somewhere.

[Discussion] I created a chatroom and here is the link
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 12 14:13:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wk8i5/i_created_a_chatroom_and_here_is_the_link/
---
[removed]

[Rant] First "goal" reached, pretty disappointed
/u/decourtstruction [5'1.5" | 110.2| 21.3 | -10 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 13:19:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wk0aw/first_goal_reached_pretty_disappointed/
---
Hi all! I just have to say that I really appreciate this community, even though I'm mostly a lurker. You guys inspire me every day, honestly.

I've been pretty thin most of my life. My whole family is really fat, are smokers, and generally lazy. When I reached my highest weight this summer, 120, I felt so incredibly gross. So I lost the ten pounds of excess and am back at 110 (which I consider my "natural" weight).

I should feel proud of myself, but I really just feel grosser than ever. I'm not skinny. I used to be a lot at thinner than this at the worst of my issues years ago. The real bummer of it is that I've maintained 110 for a week straight now. Again, I should feel happy that I'm not gaining, but it's just frustrating. I know plateaus happen. I know this is only a minor stall in a long road. I just want to kick myself into gear and get this next ten pounds gone! New goal is 100.

Thanks for reading my rant :)

[Rant] Issues juggling my relationship and my issues with food. Part question, part rant.
/u/dsprngact
Created: Sat Dec 12 11:50:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wjmyr/issues_juggling_my_relationship_and_my_issues/
---
My boyfriend heavily monitors what I eat. I really regret telling him about my issues with food. He packs me snacks for school and constantly asks what I've been eating and if I'm eating enough. I've been telling him that I've been eating my snacks but he found them in my bag and it was obvious that I was lying to him, which of course caused a big argument. Like, I don't get it....he wants me to eat but he is more attracted to me when I weigh less. We argue more when I eat like a regular person because I hate myself and am cranky all the time. I'm a nicer person when I restrict. I just cannot be fat anymore, it is killing me inside. School is fucking crazy, I'm a math/physics major and it is so hard. All of my good test grades this semester were during the times that I was very strict about staying under 800 a day.

Does you guys throw away food to hide your habits? Do you feel bad about wasting it? As a child I was punished for wasting food, so I feel like I'll have a hard time not feeling really guilty. How do you justify wasting food?


[Discussion] Feeling extremely depressed.
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Sat Dec 12 11:11:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wjgqb/feeling_extremely_depressed/
---
Anyone else here deal with any mental disorders besides their ED? I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 16 and haven't taken any meds since then. I really wish I could go to therapy but I neither have the time or money for it. I wish I could take medication again to feel like I'm fine at least. I can't bring myself to feel happy or fine. I'm not sure what I need. I'm just trying to fast throughout the days. Just go to work and home. I know not everyone feels happy every day but I want to and wish it was possible. 16 was also a little before my ED really took control, and I remember stopping the meds because I was gaining too much weight on them. I also took many because none of them really worked, but I think I'd be willing to try again.

[Rant] Bitter and conflicted over friends wanting to lose weight
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|CW105|18.56|-33|F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 10:54:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wje8n/bitter_and_conflicted_over_friends_wanting_to/
---
As the title says, 2 of my best friends are trying to lose weight and I not happy about it. They have been asking me for weight loss advice. Part of me is flattered and proud, I have lost and kept of 30Ib and have reached a recent goal (under 110Ib, now I am 109Ib). They do not know how restrictive and obsessive I am when it comes to food. I am happy to share healthy tips with them (I know what is good and what is bad) but I also do not want them to lose weight. I want to be the skinny one! I feel so selfish but I cannot help it! I have worked so hard and I am one step closer to my never ending goal of being perfect. Sounds crazy, even to me, but I try to be as perfect a possible. I spent the first part of my life fat, ugly, shy, ect. and now I have better hair and makeup than most and a better figure than a lot of my peers (not hard when everyone in my area is fat). Both friends are near my height (give or take an inch or 2) and weigh at least 45Ib more than me. Ugh, I have given them tips and been really supportive so far and I do not want to feel this way anymore. They also make me mad with how much they complain. They cant even eat 1200 kcal a day! I eat 700-900 kcal a day and I do not even feel deprived! Ugh. One used to brag to me about how great her figure was because she had bigger boobs than me and talk about how hot she was. Funny how things have changed. The other one bragged about her big butt, but she has horrible chaffing between her thighs. I love my friends but my mind is so conflicted over this. I guess I will be ok if I reach my goal of 105Ib and they do not ever weigh less than me but we shall see. I should probably work out so at least I will be more toned :/

[Tip] Why fasting bolsters brain power: Mark Mattson at TEDxJohnsHopkinsUniversity
/u/thinfetish
Created: Sat Dec 12 10:27:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wja5b/why_fasting_bolsters_brain_power_mark_mattson_at/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UkZAwKoCP8

[Rant] I love my job
/u/What_u_callme [5'7" | 156lbs | 24 | - 24 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 10:10:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wj7mr/i_love_my_job/
---
Yesterday (Thursday night) I started my first Friday Fast. When I got on the scale I only lost .3lbs. I've been loosing. 2lbs on 1200 cal + workout so I was pretty disappointed and way thinking about extending till after work today. When I get to work I start the coffee and think, no, I'll be ok doing IF and counting and I really like creamer in my coffee.

Yesterday my coworker who has uses my creamer daily but buys 3 bottles a year back was so proud she bough some after using my last 4 bottles (whatever it's inspired me to give it up) so I think, eff-it. I'm going to use it. I get my measuring cup, poor my coffee and open the fridge.

Fucking hazelnut. The grossest creamer ever. The kind I have never bought because it's gross as shit and they know because they always use mine.

So black coffee 0 sweeteners and 1 extended fast friday. They kept me on track.

I love my work.

[Help] Reached my first GW, but...
/u/AlmondDarling
Created: Sat Dec 12 09:28:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wj1jb/reached_my_first_gw_but/
---
Two days ago I reached my first goal weight, 145 (gross I know, but my goals move in 5lb increments to make me feel better about myself).

I'm terrified to get back on the scale. What if it's gone? I sat at 145 for two days so I know I really hit it...but what if it's gone? I wasn't expecting to see it when I did so how do I know that I haven't done something wrong since then and ballooned up to 148?!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 12, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 12 09:02:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wiy7w/daily_food_diary_december_12_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 12, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] I'm losing hair...and my mind
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Sat Dec 12 08:43:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wivvx/im_losing_hairand_my_mind/
---
The clump of hair after my shower this morning was the size of a tennis ball. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

My hair has always been super important to me but now I hear myself saying "It's better to be thin with lame hair than fat with gorgeous hair."

If I jump up to 1200 and increase my exercise will that slow the hair loss? I'm already on tons of vitamins. I just can't stomach the thought of having stringy hair but I don't want to stop losing weight :'(

I'm really upset right now :'-(

[Help] How can I control my hunger?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 12 07:34:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3winta/how_can_i_control_my_hunger/
---
[deleted]

[Help] It's midnight and I'm stoned help me not binge!
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 201lbs | 36 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 12 03:41:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wi3u1/its_midnight_and_im_stoned_help_me_not_binge/
---
I'm in a weird time zone. Anyone up? I need motivation/support. I live sooooo close to 24 hour places that are looooaded with binge foods.

[Discussion] how do normal people even cope with stress?
/u/WorstCunt
Created: Sat Dec 12 03:31:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wi2v7/how_do_normal_people_even_cope_with_stress/
---
I know that my ED is just a way of coping but I really don't understand how normal people do it. Seriously, how can they be in situations where they watch their life spiralling out of control and just cope with that?

Before midterms I went 9 days without binging. I hadn't gone that long in 3 years or something. Midterms started a stress spiral which I am only just getting out of now. How the hell do other people deal with this shit?!

[Discussion] I'm down to my last pound.
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Sat Dec 12 02:39:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3whyme/im_down_to_my_last_pound/
---
Not the last 1lb; the last Ā£1. Christmas has worn me out financially.


So: *I can't buy food* (except perhaps - two Cup-a-Soups?) *for another six days*. I have a fantastic excuse to ration out what little food there is in the house over the coming week.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Keep fighting, ya bonebags.

[Discussion] Today In the Past on Facebook
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Sat Dec 12 01:44:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3whu4o/today_in_the_past_on_facebook/
---
So the thing on Facebook that shows images/posts from past years made me cry. This time 4 years ago I was at the height of my ED and not quite at my lowest yet, but rapidly approaching. And while I don't want to look female, I just saw how small I was and how big I am now. One pic has my wrist in frame and it's so small. It was even swollen at the time from a new tattoo my coworker had done. I just broke down. I feel like such a failure.

But it's also very motivating. I might print out old pics to help keep me on track.

Anyone else have issues with old pictures popping up?

[Thinspo] A small album of legs thinspo
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Fri Dec 11 22:02:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wh7de/a_small_album_of_legs_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/RKWJf

[Thinspo] Here's some lovely thinspo before dinner!
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Fri Dec 11 20:51:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wgyzw/heres_some_lovely_thinspo_before_dinner/
---
http://imgur.com/a/n5WgD

[Discussion] Another intro!
/u/tealuxe1 [5'11 |181.0 | 23.60 | -7.5 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 19:37:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wgprd/another_intro/
---
Hey friends,

Lurker here, stepping out of the shadows! I've been reading for a while, had some kind of disordered eating patterns for longer.

I'm 21, a student in a super challenging field, and (I think) pretty depressed. I see a school- therapist, but I feel like I can't really tell her much because a) they don't have to keep things confidential if you're a danger to yourself (and one of the things I struggle with is self-harm) and b) I don't want her to know how totally crazy I am unless she can do something about it... and so far, it seems like she can't. I don't really know how to ask for help, which is kind of a problem.

I'm freaking out about school, and have been pretty much all semester (I have one of the world's worst professors), and I have this overwhelming, crushing sense of panic almost all the time. I cry almost all the time and they only time I can stop is when I hurt myself somehow. I restrict what I eat because it feels like the only thing I can control. I'm not skinny but I'm not super overweight or anything, and I have this idea that if I can get in better shape/control myself then everything will be better, even though I know it won't.

Sorry that was kind of a depressing intro, but that's me I guess! Most people don't know (they think I'm stressed about school) and even the ones who know how anxious/upset I am all the time don't know that I don't eat when I'm stressed. So yep.

I'm really glad that I found this community, because I feel like I can share all of the shit I'm going through!

[Discussion] Disappeared
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 152 | 22.04 | -13 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 19:29:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wgoos/disappeared/
---
Today a co-worker said "you disappeared."

I thought he meant that I walked away from him.

"Yeah if you get any smaller you'll disappear"

"Oh, it's only five pounds but thanks!"

It's been 17 pounds in two months.

Last night, after eating chipotle and knowing I couldn't purge, I groaned about how full I felt.

My boyfriend says almost sadly, "your noticeably smaller"..."I need to lose weight too."

I'm starting to look skinny. 150 pounds. I haven't weighed this since I found out I was pregnant with my first.

In 5 pounds, I'll be as small as I was when I first met my boyfriend five years ago. When I 'didn't have an ass'.

In 15 pounds, I'll look like I have a problem.

Two more months.

[Discussion] Introducing myself
/u/abluerxe [5' 3.5" | 128lbs | 22.3 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 19:22:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wgnsh/introducing_myself/
---
[removed]

[Rant] How to resist free food?
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 141 | 25.67 | -39 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 17:47:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wgbfq/how_to_resist_free_food/
---
I work at Chipotle which is basically a white girl's dream - and we get a free meal every day that we work. It's really hard for me to not eat something when I'm at work because it's free and I feel like I'm wasting the free meal when I'm not eating it but at the same time I could just not eat and it would be ok.

Anyway I guess what I'm saying is how do I convince myself that it's not worth getting the free food for what is probably my only meal of the day everyday? I have binge/purge tendencies that I'm trying to stop, and getting a bowl makes me binge and eat the whole thing even when I'm full so I can't just eat half of it. I don't know. I just need a fucking shot of willpower that I can just stab into my leg or something

[Rant] Long-time lurker, first time poster. I'm ready to step up and get started. Are you?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 11 17:30:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wg8v9/longtime_lurker_first_time_poster_im_ready_to/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Tight or loose fitting clothing?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 17:22:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wg7ml/tight_or_loose_fitting_clothing/
---
People say that one of the "signs of anorexia" or whatever is loose fitting clothing. So... how tight do you wear your clothing?

[Tip] /r/proED Chat Room
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 11 16:55:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wg3u7/rproed_chat_room/
---
https://kiwiirc.com/client/irc.snoonet.org/proed

[Tip] I made a "sweets box" to help avoid binges, and I think it's working pretty well!
/u/glitter-glam [5'4" | 114.2 lbs | 19.99 | -12.4 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 15:51:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wfuw7/i_made_a_sweets_box_to_help_avoid_binges_and_i/
---
I don't know about you guys, but I have a definite sweet tooth, and if I'm going to binge there's a high chance it'll be on huge bags of candy or multiple brownies, cookies, etc. I was gifted a HUGE bag of my favorite candy as part of a gift exchange and although part of me wanted to just throw it away I couldn't bring myself to.

Instead, I weighed out ~70 calorie servings of the candy and put them in little ziploc baggies. I attached a piece of tape to each bag with the exact calorie & carb counts written really large and threw them in a box. I also added some of those Fiber One 90 calorie brownies & lemon bars.

So far I find that the individual servings of candy really have prevented me from bingeing on it. When you're just counting pieces out of the bag it can be easy to lose control and eat way more than you really wanted to (& let's face it, whenever you're eating from huge bags of candy you're in the binge danger zone). Having the calorie count on the bag and the idea of having to individually open each bag in order to eat the candy also help avoid a binge.

Plus, having this designated box of treats ready whenever I'm feeling a sweets craving really helps me focus on getting something small to nip it in the bud. Although I usually try to ignore sweets cravings, sometimes you just feel like you have to give in, and this way it's a <100 calorie compromise instead of a >1000 calorie binge.

[Thinspo] Only Arms (B&W Album)
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 15:10:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wfoms/only_arms_bw_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/CPVCR

[Help] Scared to weigh myself
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 11 14:40:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wfk5x/scared_to_weigh_myself/
---
I haven't weighed myself in around 4 months. It's been a really bad couple of months and I knew I've obviously and visibly gained weight. I'm mortified to look in the mirror let alone step on a scale. I keep telling myself that I'll track my progress with a scale once I lose a bit more weight. I feel like I'll be so disappointed and overwhelmed that I'll just binge instead of being motivated to lose it.

I've been restricting to ~400-500 calories for about a month now. I don't know if not weighing myself is helping or hurting me. (The weight on my flair is an estimation based on how I look; I've been this weight before.) Thoughts?

[Discussion] Getting back in gear. An intro/lament/declaration.
/u/fuhhletch [5'10 | 140 | 20.09 |F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 14:09:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wffn7/getting_back_in_gear_an_introlamentdeclaration/
---
Hey y'all! It's my first post on this particular sub, though not my first time in this sort of community. I was a daily inhabitant of livejournal ED communities back in the halcyon days of '06-
'09, and have hopped from place to place since.

I've unfortunately fallen way off my personal track. My current stats are in my flair, whereas just a couple years ago I was a good 125 pounds. Since then I dropped out of the modeling game (hip bones too hip thanks mom), moved back to my home state to live with one of my best friends, got out of a five year relationship, and consequently put on approximately 15+ pounds. And not of muscle.

I had been on sertraline (zoloft) for about a year, but tapered off of it a couple months ago and have been comfortable without it since. I'm trying to take my adderall every day now, to counteract any lingering depression stuff and for its obvious metabolic miracles. Helps during the start of the day, but by the time it wears off it's happy hour and then munchie o'clock.

I've tried to reignite my fire several times, but it hasn't stuck. I blame the ganja and the wine, both of which sabotage me bigtime (but also keep me sane and happy).

Thankfully, this sub is active, and I hope to find a little spark in here to get me going. My objectives right now are to limit my alcohol consumption to only when out of the house or there is company over, eliminate munchies, cut out sugar and dairy, and just quit "forgetting" to log things I put in my mouth. Hopefully reach at least 130 by the end of January (or at least 135, if I have a fatass Christmas)

If anyone's been in a similar predicament, please do share your ideas, stories, what have you. I'd love to hear them!

[Discussion] Anyone else get frustrated with r/progresspics?
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 133 | 19.29 | -9 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 13:48:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wfcdv/anyone_else_get_frustrated_with_rprogresspics/
---
I love seeing people's weighloss and transformations, but sometimes I get frustrated that the after pictures aren't skinny enough. I feel like a horrible person thinking that, but yeah. Like I see their after weight is 110 and get excited and then find out they're like 5' and...womp womp. I like using before and afters as thinspo and I feel like I've gone through most of the actual thinspo/proED albums out there. And it's not really thinspo when the after picture is fatter than me.

[Thinspo] Delicate (B&W Album)
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 13:47:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wfc7e/delicate_bw_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/7bSJn

[Goal] 1" off my waistline goal!
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Fri Dec 11 13:45:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wfbv9/1_off_my_waistline_goal/
---
As of this morning, I have a 24" waist, exactly. I'm very proud of that.

[Thinspo] Twigs
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Fri Dec 11 13:37:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wfama/twigs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/kL5YCkx.jpg

[Thinspo] Delicate - B&W Thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 11 13:37:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wfaix/delicate_bw_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/SLcOo

[Discussion] What supplements would you recommend?
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 118.2lbs | 17.71 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 11:58:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3weuju/what_supplements_would_you_recommend/
---
I'm wondering about taking vitamins and supplements - I can't shake the thought that it's a scam. Haven't doctors and certified dieticians come out saying that our bodies can't absorb the nutrients in these types of pills and it's all a waste of money?

I'm asking as I'm really very tempted to splash out on Biotin. It's just so damn expensive.

[Discussion] Does Anyone Lie About Their Weight?
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 11:46:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wesqz/does_anyone_lie_about_their_weight/
---
My mother is very over protective of me. And even though I'm still not skinny, I used to be really overweight and since I'm smaller than I used to be she's all concerned and aggressive about my weight loss. The weight I am now she will be unhappy about and will definitely make remarks. I am debating lying to her about it and saying I weigh more than I do. Does anyone else do this frequently?

[Help] Non Stimulant Appetite Suppressants
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 10:04:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3webqh/non_stimulant_appetite_suppressants/
---
I have really bad anxiety and have found stimulants to make me more anxious. I am trying to wean myself off of coffee and am down from 6 cups to 2 a day, but I don't want to add stimulants to the mix. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Help] Reached my goal weight and I'm scared...
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 09:27:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3we5n4/reached_my_goal_weight_and_im_scared/
---
So finally reached my goal weight: 100 pounds. I always imagined my reaction to seeing that number on the scale to be different. I just feel disapppinted and underwhelmed. Very anticlimatic.

What scares me: My new goal weight is 98 pounds because I read some stupid forum comment that this kpop star the same height as me weighs that. I know it's only 2 pounds away and very much achievable. My new one meal a day diet is working really good (see post history)

BUT the moving target thing is so terrifying & 98 is a scary two-digit number.

When I started my weight loss, I wanted to be 115 pounds. I was hitting the gym hard and eating 1200 calories of good, healthy food. I was being so good and losing weight the healthy way. Got to 115 and I felt fat.
Read an article about Miley Cyrus (same height as me) being 108 pounds.
New goal: 108 pounds.
Reach it with some seriously disordered eating, I discovered MPA and 'pro-ana.' New goal to be 105 (17.5 old bmi and 'anorexic bmi.'
Reached that relatively fast and now I'm 100 pounds.
So now I'm 15 pounds under my original goal weight. This "goal weight being a moving target" shit is real and scary, I don't know when I'll stop or if I even can. I feel addicted. Does anyone else scare themselves sometimes? Also I feel like I'm very "self-aware" so am I even anorexic at all?

[Discussion] Work win!
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 09:16:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3we3qe/work_win/
---
My stand-up desk was installed at work yesterday! Yay for burning more calories! Hope we all have a successful weekend :)

[Discussion] ED dreams? What's the weirdest food/weight-related dream you've had?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Dec 11 09:13:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3we3ex/ed_dreams_whats_the_weirdest_foodweightrelated/
---
I've started to dream about eating certain foods and last night I dreamed that somebody commented on the sound of my thighs rubbing together...

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 11, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 11 09:02:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3we1mt/daily_food_diary_december_11_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 11, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] Finally overcame my fear of weighing myself since before Thanksgiving and was met with fantastic news!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 11 08:17:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wdup9/finally_overcame_my_fear_of_weighing_myself_since/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] TMI: Toilet Talk
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 118.2lbs | 17.71 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 08:10:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wdtne/tmi_toilet_talk/
---
Sorry for the total grossness of this but I feel strangely happy and proud. I've been constipated for three days, I just dropped one massive log and then weighed myself again; I lost a whole pound from this morning, haha!

(I have no idea what I can flair this as except disgusting haha)

[Goal] Anybody wanna fast with me today?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Fri Dec 11 07:51:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wdr5p/anybody_wanna_fast_with_me_today/
---
I've been stuck at a plateau for over 2 weeks & I'm just sick of it!

[Discussion] Creating a chatroom is a good idea?
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 07:23:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wdn75/creating_a_chatroom_is_a_good_idea/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] What are the best exercises you can do in your home?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 11 06:41:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wdhwy/what_are_the_best_exercises_you_can_do_in_your/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wdhwy/what_are_the_best_exercises_you_can_do_in_your/

[Help] Low heart rate?
/u/Itsemurha [5'9 | 77kg | 24.86 | -43kg | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 06:37:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wdh8l/low_heart_rate/
---
Lately i've been getting kinda short of breath at night so i've been checking my heart rate and it's been sitting around 40-45 when resting. Do any of you have lower heart rate?

[Help] Help me not binge today
/u/xtinytoadx [5'4" | 118 | 20.65 | -2 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 06:29:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wdg9x/help_me_not_binge_today/
---
Stress + food = binge
I have two finals I need to take today, but there's a Subway right next to my first class. I've been craving a tuna flatbread so badly, but I know if I order it it'll make me binge. But ughhhhh, I just need support from others.

(Hang in there while I try to flair this)

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! December 11, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 11 05:02:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wd7aw/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_december_11/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for December 11, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Found this in the toilet of my university
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 114 | 18.4| F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 03:02:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wcvr2/found_this_in_the_toilet_of_my_university/
---
http://imgur.com/XcvzJ8U

Need a partner for my next fast :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 11 02:23:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wcs2a/need_a_partner_for_my_next_fast/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] I can't seem to find much bonespo/extreme thinspo. Does anyone have any albums or links?
/u/atlisse
Created: Fri Dec 11 02:19:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wcroy/i_cant_seem_to_find_much_bonespoextreme_thinspo/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wcroy/i_cant_seem_to_find_much_bonespoextreme_thinspo/

[Help] Anti-Binge Help! Christmas Buffet at work >.<
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 149lbs | 22.7 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 01:31:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wcna5/antibinge_help_christmas_buffet_at_work/
---
Today's the day of my work's Christmas "party". My manager has decided on a buffet instead of a meal which means there's going to be 100000x more food and I'm panicking. It's so easy for me to trigger a binge and I really don't want to. I'm sick of being a whale and watching my thighs wobble. The last thing I want to do is binge or even eat to be honest. I usually don't eat at work and now there's a huge buffet happening in my office.

Does anyone have any anti-binge tips?

[Tip] Some anti-binge tips
/u/90lbs [66''| 116lbs | 18.8 | 0 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 11 01:31:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wcn87/some_antibinge_tips/
---
So I have gone from 100 to 111 pounds over the semester from almost continuous binging and purging (I've posted here several times under a different username), but I am slowly regaining control. Some things that help me:

- taking oral supplements or medication when you feel a binge coming on: if you want the medication to work you can't purge it up

- sleeping as much as possible: you can't eat while sleeping

- when stress is driving you to binge, realize that it's just a way for your mind to justify procrastination or it's way to distract you, so just procrastinate/distract yourself in other ways or take a break

- if the guilt from gaining weight or eating too much is pushing you to throw in the towel remind yourself that binging and purging won't help anything and that slow and steady progress is better than digging a deeper hole

- use guilt and painful feelings to fuel a run or other workout rather than a binge

- avoid areas with food. Don't go over and look at it, don't plan meals, don't allow yourself that one bite because you know it won't be just one

- do some busy work to keep your mind off food

- plan binges; for example when you really want to stuff your face with cake tell yourself that you can at __ time. This way you don't feel like you're depriving yourself

- I always tell myself I have to fast at least 36 hours after a binge, so the sooner I stop the sooner my fast will be over. This prevents me from the 12 hours of continuously binging and throwing up that I like to do :P


[Discussion] Way easier to fast at work than on days off.
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Thu Dec 10 23:41:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wccax/way_easier_to_fast_at_work_than_on_days_off/
---
I just find it way easier to fast at work. If I don't want people asking me about my lunch I'll just sit in my car until my lunch is over. No one even asks if I do that. I just don't know if I'll gain weight by fasting all day and eating dinner when I get home. I wonder if that'll be just a waste. Honestly, I'm so tired of myself. I need to change the outside if I can't be beautiful on the inside. I'm not a mean person my personality is just terrible. Hard to explain. I don't think anyone irl likes me. Fasting kind of takes my mind off of troubles, instead I focus on food or something.

[Help] Help! Losing in treatment.
/u/skinnylove73 [5'9 | 131 | 19.3 | -9 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 23:17:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wc9h6/help_losing_in_treatment/
---
Hello lovelies!

(If you are wondering why this is a new account, I made a specific account to be active on this subreddit since many friends know my reddit username.)

I am currently in treatment and I have been for the last nine months. I do not want to be in treatment. I just want to be done and get out. I have weight restored and I cant wait to get back down to my normal size.

I am currently in IOP and have been losing weight every time I get weighed and I am getting in trouble. I just want to be done with treatment so I can get back to where I should be and back to my life.

Does anyone have any tips on how to make it seem like i'm not losing weight or how to get on the fast track out of treatment?

[Help] Feeling terrible about myself
/u/Foodisbadmmkay
Created: Thu Dec 10 22:29:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wc3nf/feeling_terrible_about_myself/
---
I've always hated the way I look.. FiancƩ convinced me to send him a picture, so I did. 3 minutes later, he comments about my messy room. 15 minutes later, he texts 'you look very sexy.'. Probably only sent that so I don't get all upset with him. I feel like shit, I can't allow myself to eat anymore until I make it to my goal weight.

I've been taking 24mg ephedrine hcl three times a day, with 200 mg caffeine in the morning and noon only. I just started on Sunday. Huge tolerance to caffeine, I can easily nap after an energy drink or a large cup of black coffee. I still get hungry enough to eat 500-800 calories a day. That needs to stop. How many more pills can I take without getting a heart attack? I don't mind the jitters, the nausea or the heart palpitations, I just need to stop eating already!

I'm 4'10", 27yo, 116lbs. GW 85lbs.

[Help] Oh God, what is this? Has anyone had this?
/u/VanillaWax [5'0" | 110 lb | 21.5 | -46 lb | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 21:57:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wbzjl/oh_god_what_is_this_has_anyone_had_this/
---
So for the last week, I've been experiencing this terrible sensation in my stomach. You know when you get ugly-hungry, like, discomfort bordering pain, kind? Imagine that, all day, but food, no matter what it is, doesn't make it go away. I went to the doctor and she said it could be my appendix or an ulcer, I think she might be right about the ulcer. But holy shit, i've popped 4 150mg Zantac, have been munching on gavascon all day, nothing. She prescribed "ran-landoprazole" but apparently it takes 1 to 4 days to begin taking effect.

I've been having 2000 calorie days because I keep thinking "must be ugly-hungry, eat something" but fucking NOPE.

Please, please someone tell me they've had this and what it is, I'm frustrated to tears. :( :(

[Thinspo] Nostalgic
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 10 20:19:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wbm91/nostalgic/
---
http://i.imgur.com/IHnhyXV.jpg

[Discussion] Low-cal alcohol?
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | 154 | -12 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 19:55:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wbitu/lowcal_alcohol/
---
Hi guys! Someone just put up a similar post, but I have a specific question... It's my 21st birthday on Saturday and I'm going to definitely embrace that. I'm planning on fasting all day except for when we go to dinner and I start drinking. What can I drink that's as low cal as possible? Thanks!!!

[Rant] So annoyed...
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 19:47:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wbho3/so_annoyed/
---
I've been keeping my calories under 400 and that part has been going great. Even in the face of family get togethers, I've been able to prepare low calorie meals that look like they'd be more and pass on other offerings because "digestive issues". Said sadly with an apologetic smile, my aunts and uncles simply nod in compassion and move on. Brilliant!

Tonight though they NEEDED to go to this idiotic pizza place that thinks it's a selling point to be billed as "chipotle style service at a pizzeria". It happened with enough warning, I was able to use the nutritional calculator and after some coaxing, built a pizza that came to 80 a slice (gf crust and feta cheese and some veggies with very light sauce). Two pieces allowed to keep up appearances.

Here's the thing. Those 400 (often less) are a hard fought battle and dammit, they better be WORTH spending the numbers on. When it isn't it just makes me irrationally angry. Tonight was supposed to be a nice night out with family and now I can't even manage more then my fake-nice smile as I try to hold back passive aggressive comments while waiting for the symphony we're at now to start.

STUPID WASTE OF CALORIES. The box the leftovers are in probably tastes better than the disgusting slab that I somehow choked down. If I had made a scene and refused to eat any, they would have made me take pieces of their greasy gross fat laden picks... this was the lesser evil... I kinda want to cry because it's such a waste. 160 just thrown at something I wouldn't force feed my worst enemy (you know, the one that isn't me).

By all that's thin and beautiful in the world, I am SO annoyed!

EDIT: I'm on my phone, promise I will flair with RANT the minute I get home.

Looking for a long term pro ana buddy.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 10 18:53:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wb9fz/looking_for_a_long_term_pro_ana_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Help] Plumbing disasters?
/u/pbhasrightstoo [maintaining and not vomming]
Created: Thu Dec 10 18:36:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wb6xr/plumbing_disasters/
---
Has anyone had experience clogging their drains with vomit? I am terrified because I've been bulimic in this apartment for 1.5 years and though my toilet (where I purged) is perfectly fine my shower is draining very slowly. Idk how plumbing works but I feel like when someone goes to fix it they'll find a wad of food. Is this even possible?

Anyone have any stories of NOT fucking up their drains? Because that would actually make me feel better. Ha. I hope it's just hair because the drain hasn't been cleaned out in at least 2 years.

I am so worried. And for the record I am in recovery but I felt that this would be the most appropriate subreddit for this question because I didn't want to trigger anyone.

I am having unbearable anxiety over this :( :( :(

[Discussion] Who's your biggest thinsporation?
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Thu Dec 10 18:08:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wb2pt/whos_your_biggest_thinsporation/
---
Mine would have to be [Audrey Hepburn](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/252975704041130580/). Not even because she had the most amazing body, but because she was just an all around amazing woman.

[Rant] I don't even get it sometimes
/u/norge_erkult [5'8.5" (174 cm) | 145.9 lbs (66.2 kg) | BMI 21.78 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 18:01:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wb1rq/i_dont_even_get_it_sometimes/
---
So yesterday I really fucked up. After weeks of doing really well and losing weight (a few "normal"calorie days here and there slowed things down recently, but it's ok), I went totally out of control last night.

It was my close friend's birthday and I had made a huge cake and bought terrible ice cream for the party, but I was not planning on partaking in either. I had allotted myself ~400 calories for booze and was still on track.

Instead I was pressured into eating cake. Successfully resisted ice cream at first. Then, since I'm way awkward at parties unless I drink, I got wayyyyy too drunk-- had 9 shots maybe over the course of the night? I'm a lightweight and hadn't drank in a month.

I ended up blacking out and tearing the house apart for food. Like...ate a ton of cereal and a fucking pint and a half of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked (the worst kind) and other random shit. Fml.

This morning I assessed the caloric damage and did all the math on how long this would take me to fix. According to my calculations I had stalled my weight loss by like 5 days...fuck. I was pretty pissed at myself.

Which leads me to tonight: even though I told myself I would avoid it for a few days, I stepped on the scale because I wanted to punish myself I guess and really drive my bad actions home. Except...I had lost. I am now at my lowest weight in months.

I'm not complaining, but I swear, shit is so frustrating sometimes! I was going crazy for the last few days eating ~200 but losing nothing or even gaining, and yet after a binge, I lose.

[Tip] I wanna share one of my favorite teas with you guys!
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 201lbs | 36 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 17:40:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wayf8/i_wanna_share_one_of_my_favorite_teas_with_you/
---
**[A little TMI]**

This is what I drink after a binge. I binged yesterday... I made it a whole week then my boyfriend was off work and forced me to eat soooo much food! :( Last night I had a cup of this tea and by morning it helped "clean me out" so much faster than normal green tea. I drank this religiously during my last restricting session and it got me to my low weight. [This](http://delandasianmarket.com/3-ballerina-dieters-tea/) is what the box looks like at the store near me, but there are plenty of variations of it. Just look for Ballerina Tea or Dieter's Tea. It seems to be basically Green Tea, which we all know works. :)

[Discussion] What are your favorite foods?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -19 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 17:24:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3waw3f/what_are_your_favorite_foods/
---
We all have to eat sometimes. I'm wondering, what are the names and calorie contents of your favorite foods? Not just what tastes the best, or what's the lowest in calories, but what has a good balance of being tasty and low calorie?

My three favorite things in this world right now are corn flakes (100 calories a bowl), apples (the small ones I get are around 65 calories each), and sugar free spearmint gum (5 per stick). Oh my gosh, eating less has been a breeze.

[Help] Night out help
/u/LilyMae91 [5'7 | 109.5 | 17.1 | 20 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 17:23:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wavyn/night_out_help/
---
Hey all,
I have several events coming up, many of which (Birthday party, work drinks, NYE) involve drinking.
I've factored this in and have mentally prepared myself, but I'm sorta freaking out.
I'm 3lb from my next GW and I want to get there by Christmas.
How do I drink at these events? I know there's the whole "buy clear drinks, pour down sink in bathroom and replace with water," sort of thing, but I do want to drink.
If I eat and drink, my intake for each of these days will be loads, but if I don't eat I'll get disgustingly drunk very quickly and embarrass myself (am a terrible drunk person!)
Any ideas/tips/advice?

Also on mobile at so will flair soon xo

[Rant] Urg, I hate the hospital
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 17:03:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wasns/urg_i_hate_the_hospital/
---
I went to the doctor's this morning for my weekly check up/weigh in (lost 3lbs!!). And my blood pressure was incredibly low and my heart rate was really high. He told me and my parents to go to the emergency room to get IV fluids and that I might have to stay overnight. I've been sitting in the ER for 5 hours already, I still haven't seen a doctor or gotten my IV fluids. I really want a cigarette, but they won't let me leave. Urg, I don't need this right now, I have finals to study for.

Edit: I did not get hospitalized, I just wasted all day in the ER. My heart went back to normal and all of my blood work is perfect.

[Discussion] Today is a good day.
/u/strivingforlovely [5'4" | 115.6 lbs | 20.23 | -29.4 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 16:50:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3waqqb/today_is_a_good_day/
---
So far today I have managed to avoid eating. I have the day off work. It's almost 4pm and I'm not even hungry at ALL. I credit this to:

* my antidepressant

* the two 100mg caffeine pills I took this morning

* washing all the dishes and cleaning the kitchen nicely so I don't want to mess it up at all by creating any more dishes or making a mess on the counter

* spending lots of time doing my make up and applying red lipstick

* painting my nails, which I do maybe 3 times a year!

* finally mustering the courage to drink black coffee - I always put some sort of milk in it - and black is actually not so bad!

* staying at home during the day - not tempted to buy and eat anything

* feeling so perfectionistic and deliberate about everything I am doing today - it's a strange feeling. Usually I feel at least a little anxious and jittery/sweaty from caffeine, but today I just feel calm and focused and in control. Everything I'm doing today feels right and good and perfect.

I hope you are all doing well too!


[Help] I'm not ok
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 152 | 22.04 | -13 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 15:41:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wag3z/im_not_ok/
---
I'm not.

I'm not ok.

Nothing feels right.

I forgot that my eating disorder makes me feel worse.

But you get so far in, you look at the scale and touch your bones and look in mirror and feel better for a minute.

You feel powerful and beautiful and ruthless and graceful and then you decide feeling like crap has it's moments...

I'm not ok. The ed distracts me from my problems one minute, then shoves them in my face the next.

150.8 this morning.

I'm not ok.

[Help] PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 15:15:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3wabrc/please_give_me_strength/
---
I work in a doctor's office, and especially around the holidays we have drug and pharmaceutical reps dropping off goodies and gifts for us and the doctor. Just now a rep dropped off an entire box of doughnuts. I usually have no problem ignoring the treats, but doughnuts are one of my 100% favourite things in the world. Just yesterday people were complimenting me on my progress saying I was looking good... Please, please strength strength.

[Discussion] Is anyone else extremely jealous of their siblings weight?
/u/tinybites [5"6 | 171 | 27.60 | -15 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 13:54:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w9y6t/is_anyone_else_extremely_jealous_of_their/
---
My sister is 18 years old, 5'10" and probably weighs 110 lbs and I'm always so jealous of her weight. Everything she wears looks so cute and I look like a land whale next to her in photos. I internally scream at myself when I see her because I know I could be like that if I stopped stuffing my face.

[Discussion] Supplements
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 10 12:07:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w9g1q/supplements/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Calendar fun
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 10:04:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w8v4u/calendar_fun/
---
I just set up a Google calendar especially for my goals. I put in all my weight loss predictions from loser town, I put in my weekly fast, I've even put in when I want to work out, when I want to wash my hair, and when I want to wash my bed sheets each week (I'm bad at remembering to do shit like that).

Google calendars are private unless you share them, and I love seeing my days/weeks/months laid out for me like this. It's super motivating for me.

Just thought this may be motivating for someone else, and hey, Google calendar is free, so why not?

[Discussion] Any other non-horrible pro-ED forums / blogs / etc you read?
/u/Lemonaidelime
Created: Thu Dec 10 09:53:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w8taz/any_other_nonhorrible_proed_forums_blogs_etc_you/
---
I was just remembering -- with a combination of red-faced embarrasment and odd nostalgia -- old IRC pro-ED chats from back when I was a fourteen-year-old idiot. Yes, red bracelets and all (Shush!).

I realized that I have absolutely no idea what the state of the online pro-ED world is today, outside of this subreddit. Any decent blogs or forums that *aren't* geared toward recovery or very, very sad preteens?

Cheers!

Lemonaidelime

[Tip] Idea for a different kind of thinspo!
/u/FauxFurPantyDesigner [5'9" | CW: 149 GW: 135 | 21.61 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 10 09:40:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w8r2f/idea_for_a_different_kind_of_thinspo/
---
I love watching music videos for thinspiration. The ladies in them are usually super svelte.

Hip hop videos (like anything by Ciara) are also great cause the people in the video are usually dancing and look super active/fit. Any thin pop star always has good dancers in their upbeat dance songs too. Like older Britney Spears, Beyonce, etc.


Rock and alternative videos are good too because it's not like they put ugly or chubby people in them.


Videos by chubby artists are good reverse-thinspo too because the chubby people are usually just sitting there singing and if you contrast that with the active, skinny people dancing in the other videos, it inspires me to go move around!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 10, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 10 09:02:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w8ko8/daily_food_diary_december_10_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 10, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] How to stay awake at work???
/u/danimarie95
Created: Thu Dec 10 08:36:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w8ged/how_to_stay_awake_at_work/
---
Caffiene pills make me feel really, really faint. Mixed with not eating is just a nightmare. I work a fulltime job as part of my degree for a year and can't stop nearly falling asleep at my desk since I've started restricting again.
What do you guys do to keep yourself alive during the day? Do you find that your concentration is a lot worse when restricting?

[Discussion] Any moms here?
/u/Pinkindabrain
Created: Thu Dec 10 07:55:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w8aeh/any_moms_here/
---
So I'm a regular lurker here, I'm not sure if I have an actual eating disorder so I'm sorry if this comes off at all as offensive.

I've always been at a healthy weight and was an athlete my whole life and all throughout college. I got pregnant senior year and had to sit on the sidelines, pregnant, with not even a boyfriend to show for it. I was extremely isolated with no support. I usually smoke weed to keep myself happy but without that outlet available I just ate uncontrollably and gained an insane amount of weight. Now I know it's common to put on more weight than you're supposed to, and most moms take off the weight in a much more sane way, but this is why I'm concerned. It's like I'm pushing all off my post partum depression into my newfound body issue. This morning I was crying uncontrollably wanting to kill myself because I can't live in this fat body. I've never felt this way before, but I've never been fat before. I can't stand the idea of a healthy gradual weight loss plan because it's killing me to live inside this body. The less I eat the sooner ill break out of what feels like a prison.

I don't know what I'm looking for as far as responses, I know that with the limited background information I've given no one can tell me for sure whether I actually have an ED or not. But are there any moms here who can give me some insight, or relate?

PS. When I was dating his father, I was at what I think was my peak hotness. I loved my body. I was pinch-able but no where near over weight, and yet he would always pinch my thighs and stuff and tell me that I'm pretty, but if I lost that then I would be beautiful. That coupled with some other emotionally abusive red flags we broke up. Now that my son doesn't have a father and no chance of getting a father now that I've ruined my body (even with weight loss there is the saggy skin and stretch marks) I feel a great deal of guilt that my son won't have a father because I'm a fattie.

[Rant] I'm bitter that I have a final tomorrow, because I have to break my fast.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 10 07:34:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w87eo/im_bitter_that_i_have_a_final_tomorrow_because_i/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] MFP FYI
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 10 07:21:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w85n3/mfp_fyi/
---
[deleted]

[Help] What do you do to break a binge cycle?
/u/fattynomnoms
Created: Thu Dec 10 05:43:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w7u4t/what_do_you_do_to_break_a_binge_cycle/
---
I try to fast or go super low the next day, but I just end up snapping and binging again. I've been binging for the past 4 days. This needs to stop! Please help if you can!

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support December 10, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 10 05:02:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w7pvs/weekly_emotional_support_december_10_2015/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to /u/InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Help] How short is too short for a run?
/u/Ire_of_suburbia
Created: Thu Dec 10 04:01:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w7k2n/how_short_is_too_short_for_a_run/
---
How long does a run have to be to actually matter?
Of course I know that the farther you run, the more you'll burn so longer=better, I just wanted to know what "the bare minimum" is for you :)

In other news, I just ran 2,7km in my room but then my mom came home so I had to stop and I feel like that's so pathetically short :/ someone tell me it was actually worth it please ahahah

[Rant] My personal thinspo
/u/NekoTheQueen [5'9" | 168lbs | 23.56 | -62lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 23:58:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w6vl5/my_personal_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/oGXj3oN.png
http://i.imgur.com/7aJDqz4.png
http://i.imgur.com/UrliiSf.png
http://i.imgur.com/zI2yMdJ.png
http://i.imgur.com/DDfugam.png
http://i.imgur.com/3V4r79g.png
http://i.imgur.com/xqy1jJ8.png
http://i.imgur.com/idtGkp7.png

Don't feel like going into the story.

[Discussion] Laser Lipo?
/u/ya_7abibi [5'9" | 113 | 16.39 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 23:53:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w6v2b/laser_lipo/
---
I just bought a groupon for three Laser Lipo sessions. Has anyone else tried it? I read reviews and it seems like it could be effective, especially if I work out right after. I've just never been happy with my thighs, and if this helps get rid of the jiggle then I'm more than happy to pay for it. I'll report back with results!

[Help] Inpatient update #3 + Need Advice
/u/incerta [5'4"| 99 | 17 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 19:54:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w5zbh/inpatient_update_3_need_advice/
---
I'm still fucking here. I've been here a MONTH. I have gotten fat. Very, very, VERY fat. And I'm still not done. I might be done next week, but probably not. I'm done with this shit. It has done NOTHING for me but make mr far and 10000 times more miserable than before.

I need some advice for when I get out: how can I lose 10+ pounds while home without my parents noticing? Do you think it'll take a long time? Will it even come off? Please help.

[Rant] Bad at having an eating disorder
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 19:50:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w5ysz/bad_at_having_an_eating_disorder/
---
Why am I binging? I can't even fuck up my body properly

And to boot, I usually eat 1000-1200 cal which isn't "restricting enough"

[Discussion] Anyone else unable to eat in public?
/u/lord_pterodactyl
Created: Wed Dec 9 19:49:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w5ynr/anyone_else_unable_to_eat_in_public/
---
Sometimes when I go to the mall with my parents they like to stop at this steak sub place in the food court. I can't order my own food because of anxiety, and I'm a vegetarian so I can't eat anything at the steak sub shop... But my mom always asks what I want to eat in the food court. I absolutely refuse to eat in public.

I can't even eat in front of my family. At Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter dinners, I purposely wait until everyone is done eating and there's not a lot of food left and everyone is off doing their own thing, then I eat if I'm hungry. Usually I don't eat still because I'm just SO uncomfortable eating in front of people.

Rant incoming:
I absolutely hate family dinners because everyone looks at me like I'm a fucking alien for not eating food. They ask why I'm not eating. I just say because I'm not hungry, but that doesn't stop the rest of my family from coming round asking why I'm not eating. Golly, let me repeat myself over and over again because it's somehow unfathomable that someone doesn't want to eat. It's also annoying when I do cave in and just eat a dinner roll and salad and people are like, "That's not enough. Go get more food. There's enough for you." How about you mind your own business?

[Discussion] Just found this sub. Love it.
/u/IhateourLives
Created: Wed Dec 9 19:43:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w5xs6/just_found_this_sub_love_it/
---
Any other 'pro-taboo' subs out there? This seems mostly for girls, but as a dude who doesn't eat and likes to romaticise other vices. Would like to see more of these subs.

[Help] IBS/raw food diet?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 9 19:34:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w5wd2/ibsraw_food_diet/
---
So prbly TMI but I have major digestive issues and am thinking IBS due to bulimia. I have not been diagnosed but have noticed that when I eat primarily raw foods my symptoms tend to be almost non existant.

I was wondering the following:

1) anyone here deal with IBS and what do you eat to combat it?

2) anyone on a raw foods diet? If so, what do you typically eat - meals, grocery list, what you avoid, etc. I am going to try it out and am hoping some of you have some good advice.

Thank you C:

[Help] Help to stop binging and purging?
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" | 137.2 | 27.07 l -11.8lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 19:26:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w5v3c/help_to_stop_binging_and_purging/
---
Hi, everyone. Tonight I experienced something that I never have before. I binged in front of my roommates and after, I went to take a shower and **purged while my roommates were home.** I jumped in the shower, took out the drain, and purged to my heart's content. **And I loved it.** Afterword, I felt light and clean and pure. This scares me so badly. I don't want to go down this road, but I'm afraid that I'm already on it. Has anyone ever stopped binging and purging and learned some tips that they can share? It's so terrible of a habit but I can't seem to help it. Thank you for taking the time to read this!
xoxo,
Wishesforhipbones

[Tip] Biotin kills my appetite
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 9 19:19:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w5u71/biotin_kills_my_appetite/
---
[removed]

[Tip] [Tip] Easy fiber powder packs helps keep you full, low cal, and helps digestion during fasting
/u/crc10320 [5'1'' | 127 | - 53 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 18:43:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w5oub/tip_easy_fiber_powder_packs_helps_keep_you_full/
---
I'm in love with these fiber powder packs. I got my from CVS and they come in different flavors. When I'm fasting it helps me drink more water, and also helps with digestion. Fiber keeps you full longer and a great distraction when hunger panges attack. It's around 20 calories I think. Anyone enjoy using them? :)

[Discussion] Anyone else jealous of people shorter/taller than you?
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 133 | 19.29 | -9 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 16:52:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w58vb/anyone_else_jealous_of_people_shortertaller_than/
---
For the most part I like being tall (I'm 5'9"). But I always feel a twinge of jealousy when I see how small shorter girls can be. Like I'll never weigh less than 100 lbs! Even when I'm thin I'm not petite, or little. And short girls with the same BMI as me freaking weigh so much less!

But I imagine it could be the same the other way around. I don't know. What do you think?

Anyone else jealous of people shorter/taller than you?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 9 16:42:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w57fe/anyone_else_jealous_of_people_shortertaller_than/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] I decided to stop lurking too.
/u/Sknie
Created: Wed Dec 9 15:03:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w4sgl/i_decided_to_stop_lurking_too/
---
I made a throw away account.

I'm 24 years old, and I had been overweight my entire life growing up until I was a morbidly obese adult. Two years ago I decided I really hated my life and decided I was going to lose weight. I had to teach myself how to eat properly, because I had been raised on fast food and junk. I didn't have any weight loss surgeries, I just counted calories and cut out processed foods and exercised 6 times a week. I got really into fitness and adopted a very active lifestyle. I've now lost 175lbs total.

I still have some weight to lose, but I'm basically what the average person would consider a normal/healthy weight now. The thing is, I feel fatter than ever. Objectively I know that I am much much smaller, but when I see myself in the mirror and in pictures I look giant and I feel guilty when I eat so I kept cutting back more and more, and then I ended up bingeing which lead to huge amounts of guilt which lead to purging (wish I never started that). Now I've been caught in this b/p cycle which I had never been in before, because I had successfully restricted for so long and saying no had become super easy. I'm trying to get back to that. I'm not sure when my goal changed from just wanting to be healthy and active to needing to be thin. I'm just frustrated, because I know I'm small compared to what I was, but I've never been objectively thin. It's like I've done really well, but not well enough yet. I constantly get comments on my body and what I eat because my weight has dropped so drastically over the last couple years, and I think at some point I started to value myself on how small I can get. It drives me crazy, but I don't know what I'd do without it now. I feel like I have a rational side and a disordered side in my mind that are always arguing, which makes things 10x more stressful. I'm not sure if that makes sense or if anyone else experiences that.

Anyway, this post was a lot longer than I expected it to be. I really love this subreddit, it has been super helpful, because I feel like I can relate to a lot of the things people post on here. Hope everyone is well! :)

[Help] Fighting the Jealousy?
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 14:21:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w4lyh/fighting_the_jealousy/
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I feel like I post here too much.

I've had a few really crummy nights. I have really bad dreams and they affect my whole day and are usually about my boyfriend telling me how repulsed by me he is or that he's still in love with his ex or something and it's just been really shitty. Even though I've weighed in at 116lbs (down just 1lb) for the past three days (my minimum requirement to update my flair) and today I measured myself and have lost .5" on my waist and tummy, I feel worse than ever.

I've been exercising more which makes me feel good. I'm eating keto which makes me feel good. I've been a fortress of willpower turning down sugar cookies which makes me feel good.

And then I have bad dreams and today I see super thin beautiful girls walking down the street in trendy torn jeans eating a doughnut and drinking a Tim Horton's coffee with the telling DD at the top. Why do they get to have that? Why can't I do that? What is wrong with me??

It just sends me down a spiral. So I'm sitting here at work drinking my green tea and being sad and perusing this sub while on the clock.

[Discussion] Yet another intro today.
/u/tinybites [5"6 | 171 | 27.60 | -15 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 14:04:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w4j2x/yet_another_intro_today/
---
Hi everyone. I'm 23 years old and I've had an ED since I was around 14. It all started with a friend from school who also had an ED. We were best friends and this was a huge common factor in our lives, almost like our little secret that kept us so close. She introduced me to the pro-ana world and it all went downhill from there. At the time I was around 130 lbs, and got down to around 100 lbs by age 16. My boyfriend at the time was 20 years old, and loved very thin girls like I was. This pushed me to be better and eat less, I was down to 85 lbs. We broke up a year later because he cheated on me with other very young girls and I became extremely angry at the world. How was I still not good enough?

Further down the road I began to gain some weight because my mom was very aware of my eating habits and forced me to eat meals or she would take my phone or whatnot. Taking my phone was a huge deal to me because I had a secret pro-ana account on twitter.

Flash forward to now I have "recovered", relapsed, and repeat for years since then. I'm not at a disgusting 182 lbs because my metabolism is shot. I need to get back down to at least 120 lbs because I cry when I look in the mirror.

I'm happy to be here, thanks for reading.

The Great Binge-Free Leaderboard!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 12:56:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w480m/the_great_bingefree_leaderboard/
---
Here's The Great Binge Free Leaderboard, in order of most days binge free to least days binge free. If you want to join, please do! The link is on the sidebar. Just add your name to the list.
If you had to start over after binging this week, try to outdo yourself by beating your "high score" in the Best column!
Please message me with any corrections or updates :)

Ā 

**47 days** | /u/HeartshapesANDninjas

**30 days** | /u/airflowers

**24 days** | /u/InItTLoseIt

**23 days** | /u/skinnywishlist

**20 days** | /u/little_doll

**13 days** | /u/ana-wrecks-ya

**12 days** | /u/sanguinesmiles

**10 days** | /u/helloabove

**9 days** | /u/WorstCunt

**8 days** | /u/Nicole96

**7 days** | /u/esiwirartnoC

**6 days** | /u/InTheGecko, /u/MrFattyPants, /u/sunshinechild, /u/Lady_Justice_

**5 days** | /u/goldberrydarling, /u/Klairvoyant, /u/Kapattak, /u/norge_erkult

**4 days** | /u/adelexo, /u/Carriblue, /u/LadySkywalker, /u/onepostforme, /u/sisium_, /u/skinnysweetpea, /u/subspacehipster

**3 days** | /u/SeaStars

**2 days** | /u/acronym_acronym, /u/BathtubApplesauce, /u/ButterflyJellyfish, /u/ramona22, /u/SgtSarah

**1 day** | /u/EARLBEIGE, /u/Noroeste, /u/somanyjellyrolls, /u/fragileboness, /u/infinitti, /u/melanin_42, /u/skinnyb0y, /u/vemvemvem, /u/xwea, /u/Ygga

Ā 

Congrats to everyone who beat their personal record for most-days-binge-free! Special congrats to /u/airflowers for reaching a month binge-free!

[Rant] My (boring and very long) story/intro
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 9 12:42:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w45s6/my_boring_and_very_long_storyintro/
---
This is going to be vastly uninteresting but I wanted a place to share my cohesive history of disordered eating.

I've never been particularly aware of my body. When I was 12 I grew very quickly in height and found myself even thinner than the lanky child I'd always been. (Side Note: Being 5'11" at 12 is most definitely not fun!) At around 13, though still very very thin, I remember clearly walking around the house in shorts one summer day and my father saying to my mother, "Her thighs are jiggling." It didn't really consciously affect me, but if I still remember such a trivial exchange to this day, then it must have had small impact on me. That was perhaps the first time someone made a comment about my weight.

In high school, I reached my highest weight at around 178/180 lbs. It still didn't enter my head that I should do (*could* do) something about my weight. I didn't like the way I looked, but it didn't occur to do anything about it either. I think a part of me had come to peace with the idea that I'd always be unattractive. Plus, I was tall and I had a weird mentality where I thought I could carry the weight better because of my height. (If only I knew that just the opposite was true!)

In college, at 19, I became involved with this guy. It didn't last long but when we broke up--he having been my first boyfriend--it really, really affected me. I became extremely depressed. I felt so incredibly alone. I wouldn't wish that severe state of mental being on anyone. I went on antidepressants, I saw counselors and therapists. Nothing worked. That summer, I did nothing but sleep and watch movies on my laptop. I would wake up at 1PM almost every day. Because I've never liked eating when I wake up, I wouldn't eat until 5PM and even then it was just some fruit and maybe some almonds. I just was feeling so low that my appetite was gone.

But then I realized I was losing weight. It lifted my spirits. Finally. Something good was happening. Without even trying! So, it became a conscious thing. I remember the first time I googled something to the effect of "tricks to avoid eating" and came across a huge list (from MPA). Very very very quickly weight became everything in my life.

I went from ~175 lbs to 125 lbs in about 4 months. It was the first thing--or so it felt--that had finally gone right in my life. The feeling of being in control was--*is*--amazing. It was during this time that I finally grew into my own. As the fat melted off my body it also melted off of my face. I discovered makeup. I looked better in clothes. I felt like I could wear whatever I wanted without thinking about it. I made friends more quickly. I became extremely involved at my university. Everything was going great.

But I was obsessed. It was a weird dichotomy. I felt great while *at the same time* I felt like shit. I needed to lose more weight. I was lying to the friends I'd made left and right. We'd go to get food in the cafeteria and I'd get a chicken noodle soup. You know how there's a small bubbly oily surface in soups sometimes? It repulsed me. I'd lie about having a medical condition where I couldn't eat solids for a while. I'd lie about having places to be. I wouldn't join people whenever there was food involved. I had a new goal weight. I wanted, needed, to be 110 lbs. It had started to become really difficult losing more weight. This, on top of losing my friends and reverting to baggy clothes because my 120/125lbs frame disgusted me, soured my mood. I became depressed again. This time, instead of a lack of appetite, I ate my feelings away. I quickly gained weight but no more than 140 lbs.

I got in another relationship and the need to be perfect made me lose the weight again. During the entire relationship, I was very unhappy. The relationship itself was tumultuous and my disordered eating wasn't helping much. I saw therapists for my depression. They told me I was depressed, that perfectionism was ruining my life, and that I had an eating disorder. I didn't accept it. I still don't think I have an eating disorder. I mean I know I don't have one. Disordered eating and eating disorders are two separate things in my eyes.

We broke up. I started eating again. School became very difficult so I ate more. My insomnia reared its head again so late night eating was added as well. My grades fell so I ate. Anyway, here I am back at my original weight from almost 4 years ago now. I'm in a better headspace but my search for control is always correlated to body image and food, so here I am.

I mean, this entire things isn't very interesting at all. I know that I'll never be happy with how I look. But I do know that choosing between being unhappy with how I look and out of control and being unhappy with how I look and in control, I'm inclined to strive for the latter. Haha I'm so lame! This is so long!

[Help] How do you deal with nosy coworkers?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Wed Dec 9 11:10:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w3qj1/how_do_you_deal_with_nosy_coworkers/
---
Some of my coworkers are starting to ask questions about my diet. I usually eat (or don't eat) lunch at my desk but I decided to eat a relatively normal lunch today with my team to appear normal.

I had a half sandwich and small chicken noodle soup (348). My coworker started asking questions like "Are you sure that's enough food? I want to make sure you're eating enough"

I responded with "well I'm going to eat again later you know" :-P which seemed to diffuse things. But it's making me nervous that these kinds of comments are happening more frequently. I mean, I'm not even thin yet.

edit: I've noticed this coworker wears a thin red bracelet, I wonder if she's taking an interest because she also has an ED...

[Help] Flabby Butt :(
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 11:04:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w3pim/flabby_butt/
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I used to have a big, round, bubble butt. My butt has since looked like it deflated. It's not terrible, it just sits way lower than it used to and I hate it. And it seems like the more weight I lose, the flabbier it gets. I do like 50 squats a day among other exercises, and nothing seems to work! Any suggestions? :(

[Thinspo] Is this thinspo-worthy? Unsure of my body right now. [NSFW]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 9 10:42:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w3ls4/is_this_thinspoworthy_unsure_of_my_body_right_now/
---
http://imgur.com/sbiZGx1

[Discussion] Since I'm trying to be a part of the community, here's my intro, too.
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 10:23:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w3ira/since_im_trying_to_be_a_part_of_the_community/
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Hello everyone!
Like the title says, I'm trying to be a more active part of this community. I think the support and love showed here is fantastic.
Growing up, I've always felt enormous. I grew in height quickly, and towered over my peers. While I wasn't an overweight child, I felt like this huge lumbering monster because of my size. I'm also the type to draw criticism from others, it seems. When I finally hit 100 lbs (as a 5'5" 12 year old), I was ridiculed by my friends and siblings for being so outrageously huge. I've been told my breasts are too small for how fat I am, and openly mocked for my size. This resulted in a poor relationship with my body.
Growing up, my parents didn't have much money. We weren't particularly poor, but there wasn't much extra money. Both parents would talk about their financial stresses with me, and I began to have those stresses myself. When I had to ask for lunch money, they would become irritated, or send me to the other parent to ask again. Eventually, I stopped asking. I would take spare change I found lying around and purchase my lunches from the vending machines at school. My normal high school lunch would be a single serving bag of chips. When I got home, I would seize the chance at having food and binge eat, knowing it had to carry me until dinner the following day. This resulted in a poor relationship with food.
I know this post sounds very accusatory. I don't blame those around me for my body and food issues, but I do realize where they stemmed from. I've gained weight recently, and I've decided to do something about it. I'm tired of the self loathing and I'm tired of making excuses.

[Help] Personalized Thinspo?
/u/ThinThinnerThinnest [5'4" | 124.0 | 21.7 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 10:12:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w3h00/personalized_thinspo/
---
So I used to be big into graphic design and typography. I miss the long hours hunched over my computer living off coffee and forgetting to eat. I kinda fell off from doing anything as my life got more stressful with real work. I want to get back into it.

Does anyone want a personalized graphic with their favorite motivational quotes or little tips? I'll even do workout routines or recipes. Much like the fitspo quotes you can find on tumblr, but I'll make what you want instead of leaving you to hope you find it in a not terrible font.

Sorry if this doesn't really belong here, I just want something to keep me from binging at night when Im home alone, and figured if I was going to practice with thinspo/fitspo stuff I might as well offer it to the people who motivate me to stay on track.

Ill post them back here as I finish them. :)

Edit: I posted a few works in progress below. I'm going to get everyone a font pair before moving on to textures and background graphics. :)
You guys are going to keep me busy for the rest of the week! Yess!!

[Rant] Every time I reach a new GW...
/u/130ismygoal [5'7" | 153 | 23.9 | -29 lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 10:07:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w3g64/every_time_i_reach_a_new_gw/
---
https://imgur.com/pJHBkWi

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 09, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 9 09:02:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w3685/daily_food_diary_december_09_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 09, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Rant] I just realized something
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 114 | 18.4| F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 08:58:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w35oo/i_just_realized_something/
---
If I would spend all the time I spend watching thinspo and stalking this sub on working out and exercise, I would have a killer body right now...

[Thinspo] Karlie Kloss
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 114 | 18.4| F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 08:38:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w32pg/karlie_kloss/
---
http://imgur.com/a/YndhI

[Help] How to stop the 'Food as a reward' mentality
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 07:54:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w2w78/how_to_stop_the_food_as_a_reward_mentality/
---
It has come to my realisation that whenever I do something right, for example fasting for a day, or successfully coping with something stressful, I say to myself: "Well, It's maybe okay to eat (certain food here) because what you did was strong and you deserve it" And then I usually freak out and binge which makes no sense at all. I really need to figure out how to stop this because I easily lose control when I feel like a failure, and the cycle goes on.

[Discussion] Testosterone and appetite
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Wed Dec 9 07:14:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w2qs2/testosterone_and_appetite/
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So I started testosterone 3 weeks ago, and the hunger is ridiculous. I understand intellectually that I'm basically going through a second puberty so my body needs proper fuel and all... But this is ridiculous.

I went on a full out binge/purge extravaganza this past week, and I feel awful. I tried counteracting it with walking (10 miles every other day), but it's not enough.

So I'm doing a liquid fast since I figure it'll be easy to avoid overeating if I just avoid solid food. Let's see how long I can go.

[Discussion] The Little Things... Let's Be Positive!
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 201lbs | 36 | -18 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 9 06:05:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w2iad/the_little_things_lets_be_positive/
---
It's 3:00am on the dot and I can't sleep as per usual when I am heavily restricting (400cal day MAX, but usually less than 250) and I am sitting here browsing thinspo, looking at pictures of myself at my low weight, etc. because my boyfriend that I live with is out with his friends for once and not looking over my shoulder. I'm about to make a cup of tea to celebrate the 7lbs I've lost in 3 days, and also my 10th binge free day! What are some of your recent little things or small victories that are keeping *you* going?

[Help] Diet Pills?
/u/iLLuZiOnVaPez
Created: Wed Dec 9 00:49:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w1qy8/diet_pills/
---
Whats the next best diet pill as compared to oxy elite pro I miss it :(.
Thermogenic/fat burner appetite suppressant ect.


[Discussion] I'm furious.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 8 22:56:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w1fo3/im_furious/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] So excited!
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Tue Dec 8 22:11:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w1af0/so_excited/
---
So, I've wanted a bike these past few months but on the nothing I make, there was no way I could afford one. Even on Craigslist. I looked so hard.
I moved into my apartment 6 months ago and there was this red Huffy Cruiser leaning against the stoop with a bum wheel. In 6 months, the thing hasn't moved once. A few weeks ago I asked everybody in my building if they knew who it belonged to. Nope. We all figured somebody abandoned it. There's gotta be like four abandoned bikes in the courtyard. Each one looks like a tire went flat and then it was left for the rim to bend all out of whack.

This morning I said "fuck it" and dragged the red Huffy up the stairs and into my apartment. I went and bought a $5 tube, a $5 wrench set, a $10 pump (which will come in handy forever as it's tiny and can be affixed to the bike itself), and some WD-40 and I fixed the bike.

I hopped on the thing and rode 5 miles, burned a shit ton of calories, and felt like a badass for fixing something with my own two hands.

TL;DR Fixed an abandoned bike; Feel badass and am down 2 pounds.

[Thinspo] My favorite thinspo: long, thin legs for days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 8 21:20:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w143s/my_favorite_thinspo_long_thin_legs_for_days/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Rj9ru

[Discussion] Highest number of calories you have ever eaten in day?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 19:24:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w0oef/highest_number_of_calories_you_have_ever_eaten_in/
---
Did you purge? Did you not?

I'm just over 3000 cal right now but I've hit like 4000 cal before, as far as I am aware of. I did not purge.

I'm binging so badly today. Now that I feel sufficiently disgusting I can stop. That was 2000 calories in 2 hours, fuck.

[Rant] I saw the last two people I wanted to see on Earth at the same time today and it reminded me how far I have to go.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 19:15:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w0n4r/i_saw_the_last_two_people_i_wanted_to_see_on/
---
My ex-step sisters. One is a few years older and one is about a year younger. They haven't been my step-sisters for over 10 years and I haven't been close to them for longer than that.

The older one has always been a 0/00. I remember trying to put on her jeans when I was in 5th grade and hit the big '100' pounds. The younger one was always tiny too. The dad would always say behind my back how big I was (I was a normal sized kid) and that I'm greedy and fat and all that.

I saw them when I was out today and they saw me too. I was dressed in baggy jeans and a jacket with my baseball cap and sunglasses on. I have a terrible cold, so I felt like shit too. I had to walk past them and I wanted to die.

They didn't graduate high school, got into drugs, jail, scummy boyfriends, a couple kids, are rather plain, and probably have a combined IQ of 99, and are going nowhere in life. But they are tiny and I've always hated that. They were both wearing super tiny jeans and tight tops while I looked like a garbage bag with a hat.

On paper I know that I have done so much and that they are envious that I went to college and escaped this small town to travel the world. But I'm not small. And it kills me.

I have so many reasons to lose weight, but I was reminded today that when I'm small they have nothing on me.

I have the house to myself for a week and I already planned a fast for Wednesday through Saturday. I have my first GW jeans in a drawer and I need to wear them in front of those girls.

All my childhood anxiety came flooding back today and I hate myself for it. I hate that I still feel this way after so long.

[Discussion] BINGING and why I am terrible at dealing with stress
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 8 19:08:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w0m8h/binging_and_why_i_am_terrible_at_dealing_with/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Help please! Least caloric Indian food!
/u/Shiny-bubbles
Created: Tue Dec 8 18:03:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w0d2o/help_please_least_caloric_indian_food/
---
I'm new here and I will eventually come out with my story but right now I need to know what's the lest caloric thing I can order at an Indian restaurant. My SO is taking me out as a birthday dinner surprise and I don't want to ruin all I've done the last 2 days. Anybody have any ideas what I can eat?

[Goal] When myfitnesspal won't project your weight loss...
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 152 | 22.04 | -13 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 17:33:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w08m3/when_myfitnesspal_wont_project_your_weight_loss/
---
Because at 893 calories, I'm 'not eating enough'

I think that's my new goal...beat mfp everyday.

Plenty of protein and vitamin c, dreadful amounts of vitamin a and calcium. I guess it's good for something.

[Rant] I am so messed up, and vaguely amused.
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 17:27:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w07rb/i_am_so_messed_up_and_vaguely_amused/
---
I am currently doing shots of magnesium citrate (saline laxitive), grape flavor. It's in a (purple!) shot glass and I have music on, so it feels like a party, all alone in my kitchen. My chaser is water. This is hilarious and so weird. I have not drank alcohol for nearly two years, so just the motion of 'doing a shot' feels odd. The sheep night shirt that I'm wearing is not really adding to the party atmosphere, but I'm rolling with it.

I just need to go (poo) i can feel the binge in my guts, it's gross. This is gross too, but tomorrow when I break my fast (i am not considering the laxative a break, it does not hav calories, according to google), I will be on empty, a hard reset.

Ah, the strange, glamorous life of disordered eating, huh?

[Discussion] Because I am a huge masochist, I will be watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show tonight with my boyfriend.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 8 17:18:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w06ee/because_i_am_a_huge_masochist_i_will_be_watching/
---
[deleted]

[Help] It's 1 week til my birthday; about 3-4 til new years. I'm 0.8 above double digits; 1.6 above gw. Im pretty empty/dry/depleted. CAN IT BE DONE. HOW WOULD YOU APPROACH.
/u/azureice1984 [5'5.5 | 97.8 | FAT | lost 65ish lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 17:10:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w053l/its_1_week_til_my_birthday_about_34_til_new_years/
---
Ok. Id love any input and suggestions. Here's alllllll the relevant data on where i am right now.

*CURRENT STATS*
So im currently, postpurge, standing at 100.6lbs, at 5'5.5. (16.5 standard bmi; 16.6 new bmi). Im 30 years old; my hw was 160 and im at my lowest weight since a brief moment 12 years ago i managed to fall below 100 before starting bingeing. (I wasnt great at purgeing then.)

*PURGEING STATUS*
I purge regularly. Usually it's twice a day, with 4000+cal binges, and it's commonly more than 4000, more like 10-15k. Sometimes more than this. Once in awhile i can get a day or 2 without puking. When i manage to cut down purgeing, i retain mad water for weeks (partly from keeping down solid food). Id like to limit it to the minimum i can obviously, let's be serious no one ENJOYS bping. Occasionally i will not clear rinse, but typically i do.

*EXERCISE STATUS*
I have health conditions so i cant exercise much if at all, so other than stretching and short walk a couple times a week, exercise is not an option. Intense exercise or extended exercise does make me retain water within the next few days, so i avoid it.

*CURRENT INTAKE, FOOD WEIGHT STATUS*
The last week or so, Ive been keeping down almost entirely liquid cals- soups that are mainly pureed, coconut oil, v7 low sodium, protein powder, and extremely limited solids (these tend to be boiled fruit/veg/chia seeds), tea, coffee, DC, splenda/stevia, almond milk. And the amount ive kept down is minimal, but i dont track b ecause i think i absorb some sugar from bping so it's "deceptive" to count calories of only kept-down food. I don't think i have much food weight to lose, though im only "going" every few days (and that's typicalky the day after taking a magnesium supplement).

*WATER STATUS*
Purgeing regularly kind of dries me out, and i also get a small or moderate caffeine dose each day, and a few times a week i drink a diuretic tea- fennel or artichoke tea. I drink herbal teas more than this, but they have such a limited effect that i dont think makes much difference.


Typically, if anyone is like, "HALP I NEED TO LOSE 1-2 LBS IN 1-3 WEEKS," things like water/food can so so so easily hit that, but im mostly depleted so im not real sure if i have much chance to drop weight. Especially since i really dont have the option to exercise for a temporary water loss.

Im thinking ill continue easy-to-digest foods, maybe increase natural diuretics

anyohe have suggestions or thoughts for losing in this type of scenario let me know please.

[Help] Is anyone here gluten-free?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 8 16:49:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3w028e/is_anyone_here_glutenfree/
---
[removed]

[Rant] 2:51 PM
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 15:52:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vzthu/251_pm/
---
http://imgur.com/0Ik3OjW

[Discussion] An incredible article on the false narratives of anorexia
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 8 15:24:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vzp37/an_incredible_article_on_the_false_narratives_of/
---
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/cover_story/2015/12/we_need_to_reject_the_false_narratives_around_anorexia.html

[Discussion] A little of my history
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 8 14:42:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vzi8s/a_little_of_my_history/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What is your favorite perfume/s?
/u/Emeraldcornea [5"7 | 94kg -> 70kg | *** | 24kg | ]
Created: Tue Dec 8 12:02:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vyr8t/what_is_your_favorite_perfumes/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vyr8t/what_is_your_favorite_perfumes/

[Discussion] What are the things you used to eat that you're embarassed about now?
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 11:45:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vyoev/what_are_the_things_you_used_to_eat_that_youre/
---
So this is something I'm curious about because I used to eat like an animal. Peanut butter straight out of the jar with a spoon, and not just like a spoonful or two but HALF the jar...a stack of toaster waffles doused in Aunt Jemima's every single day after school...bowl after bowl of Corn Pops cereal for a "snack."

Also Christmas party last year, I was onto my probably sixth helping of food and I remember loitering in the kitchen with my plastic plate full of baby carrots and a gigantic slice of cake. I was dipping my carrots into the cake frosting and eating them...lol -.- This prompted my bodybuilder cousin to call me "the unhealthiest person he knows." I laughed it off but I was so embarassed. His comment was one of the things that spurred my initial hardcore weightloss.
I'm dreading Christmas...

Anyway, I would love to hear about all the calorific nasty stuff everyone used to eat!

[Rant] Tummies.
/u/SingForMaya [5'2" |108 | need to recalc | F, 23 | GW:90]
Created: Tue Dec 8 11:27:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vylfd/tummies/
---
After fasting for at least a day, nothing in my stomach, I have a flat tummy. Then when I eat, it gets insanely bloated (I only ever can eat a tiny bit at a time so it's not like I eat a lot either). Wtf? I mean I know dairy bloats me, but so do 2 freaking animal crackers? I just feel like the flat tummy isnt possible for me unless I never ever eat.

[Thinspo] Shmegeh is my biggest thinspiration (Album)
/u/MollyManiac666 [6'0 | 155 | 20.21 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 11:05:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vyhw8/shmegeh_is_my_biggest_thinspiration_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/1vb5c

[Rant] I hate you, Goldfish crackers.
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 10:51:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vyfkp/i_hate_you_goldfish_crackers/
---
I was doing so well yesterday. I had only had coffee and a stick of gum all day long and then those stupid Goldfish crackers happened. My toddler loves those things and I usually don't keep them in the house but my dad bought some for my son and sent him home with them last week. FUCK YOU, GOLDFISH CRACKERS.

[Help] Boyfriend Stuff
/u/MollyManiac666 [6'0 | 155 | 20.21 | -10 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 10:40:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vydpe/boyfriend_stuff/
---
My mentality surrounding eating and weightloss is starting to impact my relationship :S All of my boyfriends exes have been smaller than me, and whenever I see him talking to girls smaller than me I get insanely jealous. Has anything experienced anything similar? Any tips?

[Discussion] This is really weird, but has anyone else ever experienced mouth pain when breaking a fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 8 09:35:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vy3b9/this_is_really_weird_but_has_anyone_else_ever/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 08, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 8 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vxy61/daily_food_diary_december_08_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 08, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] How much caffeine do you take?
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 118.2lbs | 17.71 | -25lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 07:53:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vxnw5/how_much_caffeine_do_you_take/
---
I bought some caffeine tablets, the label says they're 50mg glucose and 50mg caffeine. All the research I've found on how long it takes to metabolise and how long the effects last are based on 200mg, is that the standard daily dose? Also does the fact that it has glucose in it change anything?

My tolerance for caffeine is very very low, I've never drunk coffee or energy drinks, the last few days I've been taking one tablet in the morning and by mid afternoon I'm crazy jittery but it's not really doing anything for my appetite?

What's your experience with caffeine? I just love reading other people's stories more than anything, haha.

[Goal] Haven't slept, starting a fast, hording food. Woop.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 8 04:10:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vx0ol/havent_slept_starting_a_fast_hording_food_woop/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How to keep my brain functioning optimally
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 114 | 18.4| F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 03:49:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vwz0s/how_to_keep_my_brain_functioning_optimally/
---
I have like 4 tests coming up this week and next week, all really hard and I have to study a lot. Have been binging last week, a few times, and I feel awful. I have to fix this.... I have been fasting since yesterday but my brain stopped functioning. I'm in this fuzzy state since this morning, I couldn't sleep yesterday and I can't concentrate on anything. These tests are really important, if I don't pass it is going to cost me a lot of money. This is my second time fasting, the first time was in summer and I had a break so I didn't need to think, but I don't remember being so incredibly slow...

In 2 weeks it's over, but then it's christmas time and I have like 4 dinners with family and boyfriends family and new years eve and I am going to drink way too much, so I don't consider waithing as a good opton. And I have gained 4 pounds in one week and I need to fit in my christmas dress.

Help! How do I keep my brain functioning? Do you guys think it's possible to study at a high level and fast/restrict?

[Discussion] Most weird/embarrassing thing your ED made you do?
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 8 02:33:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vwsus/most_weirdembarrassing_thing_your_ed_made_you_do/
---
I feel like sharing because I guess if we laugh about cringy stuff, it makes them less cringy.

When I don't eat cabs for a while and then finally eat them, they make me really gassy. So...it was the day of prom, and I was with this boy, and everyone was eating and 100% judging me for not eating, so I ate some mash potatoes, which lead to me eating *everything*, which obviously lead to stomach issues. So on the limo ride back, you guessed it. I was like uncontrollably farting, and everyone politely ignored it, but yeah, super embarrassing. That's honestly one of the main reasons why I don't like carbs now.

Other thing that happened was that since I've been purging in the past month, I now throw up when I lean over or think I'm burping. I was eating dinner with people, and I ate too much but was trying not to freak. I thought I was burping, so I sort of like do the quiet polite burp, and vomit starts going up my throat, and for some reason, this triggers more to come up because I guess my body is used to it, and then it all like came out on the clothes and on the table, and yep.

Last memory, this was before purging days. I was with friends, and I think it was a birthday party. I didn't want to eat, but her mom was really pressuring me, so I ate not one, but 3 pizzas and cake. I start freaking, which at the time, would make me really hyperactive since my method of purging was exercising, so I start uncontrollably fidgeting and moving around and making these little jumps. It was probably so weird now that I think about it.

[Rant] Fun Times With Boyfriend (Oh God, I'm Completely Mental)
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Tue Dec 8 01:38:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vwolk/fun_times_with_boyfriend_oh_god_im_completely/
---
Preface: I adore Boyfriend.

I donā€™t really hide the weird foods / eating habits / amounts of food eaten from Boyfriend. And honestly, he generally doesnā€™t seem terribly concerned besides the occasional Hey-you-should-try-this, Did-you-eat-lunch type of comments. But he does not know the extent of how screwed up my brain is.

The Problem: So I had fasted all yesterday and today I was a little light-headed and tetchy, snapping at him more readily, that kind of thing.

Boyfriend: ā€œJeez, whatā€™s up with you today?ā€

Me, deciding, to just tell him: ā€œWell I havenā€™t eaten in like a dayā€¦Iā€™m sorry. I really donā€™t want to fuck up our relationship with my eating problems.ā€ [Takes a bite of poached egg]

Boyfriend: ā€œOh, ok. Donā€™t worry. Your eating problems arenā€™t *that bad*. Your weight isnā€™t likeā€¦doesnā€™t worry me like [his exā€™s name]ā€™s did.ā€

Me: ā€œYour ex had an eating disorder?ā€

Boyfriend: ā€œYeah, sheā€™s anorexic. Oh, should I not say that? I donā€™t know if you get competitive orā€¦ā€

Me: ā€œHa. Ha. No, donā€™t be silly ā€“ itā€™s fine.ā€ (Because what the hell else am I supposed to say...)


I canā€™t stop thinking about it. At 5ā€™3ā€™ā€™ and 97-ish pounds, Iā€™m *not* the picture of sick-girl. Iā€™m not dying. But I am seriously restricting and dizzy all the time.

My brain is so torn. I want us to have a perfect la-di-da everythingā€™s-lovely relationship AND SOMEHOW ALSO want him to worry about me, dammit. I want him to see me as the perfect girlfriend AND as a sick, fucked upā€¦IDKā€¦successful anorexic person?

What the HELL is WRONG with me?

(Oh dear godā€¦apologies for the rant. Love you all haha)


[Help] Recovering from a set back
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 126lbs | BMI 19.67 | Weight Lost: 19.5lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Dec 8 00:09:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vwh1i/recovering_from_a_set_back/
---
So a day I was really looking forward to backfired. Usually rejection is my biggest trigger for restriction but instead I've been feeling really low and helpless with also not being able to really help a close friend in need.

Instead of empowering myself with restriction like usual it's like I've just given up on myself and been eating like a pig. So, how about a thread here sharing our setbacks, our successes and why not to give up on ourselves in case anyone else has been having a bad week too?

[Tip] I like this protein bar because I like to Think Thin...
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Mon Dec 7 21:47:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vw1gm/i_like_this_protein_bar_because_i_like_to_think/
---
http://imgur.com/tUf1Sio

[Rant] I am screwed (TMI)
/u/fattygod [167cm | 55kg | 19.84 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 7 21:45:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vw1an/i_am_screwed_tmi/
---
Been chewing sugar free gum all day excessively--that stuff makes me sick as a dog; as in, I've eaten it enough for it to have the laxative effect on me at some point. Then just had a huge binge. Why do I do these things to myself?

[Rant] Fail fail fail (binge rant)
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Mon Dec 7 20:55:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vvv2z/fail_fail_fail_binge_rant/
---
A friend took me out for dinner. And... Why did I eat that? Wtf? I ate a chicken sandwich with mayo and some fries, and some of the appetizer? Wtf wtf. I could have ordered something decent, and the goddamn chicken wasn't even spicy. Somewhere around 2000 calories for crispy fried bird.

Just repeating, over and over: tomorrow is another day tomorrow is another day tomorrow is another day.

Aaaaaaaaaaarg. I have new levels of disrespect for my trash self right now.

Maybe I can fast tomorrow and make up for it a little ... Just tea all day at work. I can do that.

Fml, why do I do this to myself?

[Goal] I did it! :)
/u/Lasttimelord1207
Created: Mon Dec 7 20:27:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vvrch/i_did_it/
---
I just got back from my kairos retreat and was able to fast all 4 days! I guess the retreat gave me the confidence to do it.

[Thinspo] Incredible collar bones and chest bones
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 7 19:14:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vvh99/incredible_collar_bones_and_chest_bones/
---
http://i.imgur.com/LC5l9tf.jpg

[Discussion] Non-lax things to lax with?
/u/mangledguts [5'4" | 106.5 | 18.6 | -54 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 7 16:45:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vuwd4/nonlax_things_to_lax_with/
---
I don't purge, and I don't want to waste money on laxatives and become dependent on them even though they don't even make you lose weight. I just want to clean myself out I guess, because I feel dirty inside after I eat junk food. So what are your favorite items for this?

I got some FiberOne bars and apple juice. My dad has warned me several times already not to eat more than one FiberOne bar in a day so I've been "eating them", tomorrow I will have 3 bars and I'll probably eat them back to back. I'm hoping the 420 calories is worth it.

I'm not certain about the apple juice but apparently it opened the floodgates when I was a baby according to my parents so I figured I'd give it a shot.

[Discussion] Remembering Embarrassing Binge Moments
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Mon Dec 7 15:48:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vunve/remembering_embarrassing_binge_moments/
---
I was just thinking back on a few times I binged at social events, and how horrifying it was.

At a Christmas party last year with my boyfriends family there was a seafood dip that was SO GOOD I ate about half the bowl with bread and thought I was being discreet about how many times I went over there... I made some joking comment about how I ate a lot of it and my boyfriend's sister says "Yeah... I saw that."

Another time at a friend's potluck I ate almost an entire bag of tortilla chips and salsa and hoped nobody noticed. They did.

MORTIFICATION.

Anyone else ever think back on dreadful moments like this?

What am I even doing..
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Dec 7 15:31:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vulfz/what_am_i_even_doing/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Hellooooooo (un-lurking)
/u/HermosaFuriosa [5'2"| 166.8| 31.6| -3.2| F]
Created: Mon Dec 7 14:31:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vuc5b/hellooooooo_unlurking/
---
So.. Yeah. The title is basically it! I've been lurking here and Fatlogic and FatpeopleStories but unable to post from my regular account, because I was scared to.

Obviously I'm obese, but I used to be super morbidly obese - I was 251 pounds and 5'2". I lost 50 pounds pretty much through drugs (crystal meth, SUPER classy), then another 20 pounds through purging then later restricting. I haven't been doing any restricting or more than veeeeeeery infrequent purging in the last 3 years, and I also haven't lost any more weight! I've been exercising a ton but eating like a garbage person, so that's not great.


My plan now is to cut back on cardio, follow the Blogilates calendar, get 15,000 steps per day and have 1,000 calories per day, max.

I feel good now, I just don't know how to control how irritable I know I'll be without just being xanaxed all this time. Ah well, I'll figure it out.

Anyway, hi (again!)

[Discussion] Life-changing thinspiration?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Mon Dec 7 11:12:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vtgq4/lifechanging_thinspiration/
---
Something that was so inspiring and powerful that just made you drop everything and start restricting for good?

[Discussion] [UPDATE] [TMI] Constipation issue
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 7 10:18:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vt8c7/update_tmi_constipation_issue/
---
Original post [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vfzwh/tmi_constipation_issue/).



Sunday rolled around and by that time it had been over a week since my last BM. I decided that I was going to poop THAT DAY and that would be that. I'd been taking a stool softener/laxative daily for 5 days and I had castor oil from when I used it at the end of my pregnancy to try induce labor (which was a horrible idea, by the way- just don't do it) and I started googling ways to make it at least palatable because I blended into pineapple juice/ice last time and I don't have any pineapple juice around. I decided that after I had run some errands I would shoot the castor oil, try not to choke on it, and wait (im)patiently for the results. While out running errands I started to feel like I needed to go! I rushed home and stepped on the scale so I could see how much of a difference this poop was going to make. [YOU. GUYS. THREE POUNDS. I WAS THREE POUNDS LIGHTER AFTERWARDS.](http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/tv1.gif) And I felt like a million bucks. AND I didn't have to use the castor oil!



I'm going to continue using the stool softener/laxative combo until payday and then I'll invest in some Metamucil for daily use and those ready-to-go enemas juuuuust in case I go through this again. Thank you all for your suggestions and support and for taking me seriously with this topic Ɯ

[Thinspo] Sailor Moon S1 E4 - "Learn How to be Skinny with Usagi" with subtitles. TW
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Mon Dec 7 09:56:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vt4uq/sailor_moon_s1_e4_learn_how_to_be_skinny_with/
---
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1vl0xj_sailor-moon-sub-learn-how-to-be-skinny-from-usagi_shortfilms

[Goal] Made a major goal this morning!
/u/Lady_Justice_ [5'11 1/4" | 126.1 | 16.88| -22 | MtF]
Created: Mon Dec 7 09:25:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vt0aj/made_a_major_goal_this_morning/
---
After months to almost a year of yo-yoing back and forth between the 140's and 160's but never going lower than 142, I'm finally under 140! It was actually kinda simple (but difficult to do): I gave up alcohol for the month of December, and the withdrawal has been horrible but the progress on my scale doesn't lie. It's worth fighting through for this. Yesterday I was at 140.2 and so close, had a good day (-200 net) and went to bed thinking of how excited I was going to be to weigh myself in the morning. When the numbers came up 138.6 I almost didn't believe it so I had to step off and back on, and it came up 138.6 again!

Sorry to sound immodest, but I'm just so happy!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 07, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 7 09:02:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vswz3/daily_food_diary_december_07_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 07, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] I hit a new low weight and then spent the rest of the day uncontrollably binging. How I feel at my weigh-in the next morning:
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Dec 7 08:56:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vsw0p/i_hit_a_new_low_weight_and_then_spent_the_rest_of/
---
http://e.lvme.me/lla1me9.jpg

[Discussion] Do any of you practice IF?
/u/abluerxe [5' 3.5" | 128lbs | 22.3 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 7 08:38:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vstfv/do_any_of_you_practice_if/
---
Over the last few months, I've been able to shorten by eating window from just lunch and dinner, to now just eating dinner in a 2-3 hour eating window. It makes it easier to eat 600-700 calories. Just curious if anyone else does that and their experiences with it?

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! December 07, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Dec 7 05:03:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vs5o6/weekly_stats_update_december_07_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for December 07, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

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* WL:

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Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

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Update: from on the run...
/u/knyburg2
Created: Mon Dec 7 02:55:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vrvrw/update_from_on_the_run/
---
Hey all,

I just wanted to make this post because I realized my leaving posts were super suicidal-like, and I didn't want anyone to think that I committed suicide. Sorry this was not that much sooner; I was nervous about like getting tracked and all, so I really didn't even dare go on reddit, but I realized I could use tor now.

I don't know if any of you all followed my old account, but due to those circumstances, I can't really be posting that often, so I guess don't really expect me to be around too much.

Anyway, I don't want to get into too much detail. Life is pretty decent right now compared to what it use to be. Me and my boyfriend want to get married, but we don't know if our fakes will work. I've like a small-time job at extra-small bridal/prom boutique, and it's super fun, and I adore the woman who owns the place. She also sells these gorgeous Lolita dresses on the side that she lets me model in our advertisements. My boyfriend has a job bartending, and if our fakes are good enough, he might enroll in like a local community college next year.

As far as personal problems, I've not heard from my family, which is both relieving yet sort of sad, but I assume they're looking for me. My drug use has sort of increased unfortunately and the bridal/prom boutique doesn't cover all those costs. My boyfriend has been super supportive, and I've been trying to use less. As far as weight loss, I'm officially at a BMI of 16.0, which is super exciting. I guess it's an effect of attempting to be frugal. It's a good excuse to not eat and all.

In general, it's both really freeing but really stressful to be living in the *real world*. As far as people around me know, me and my boyfriend are just some young couple. Our place is really small, but I like the quaintness of it. I have like house plants decorating it, and it's really European/French style. Where we live is sort of dangerous at night, which scares me a lot, so he's been trying to get weapons, and that's probably been the most stressful part so far.

Anyway, nice to see that this sub is alive and all. Talk to you all soon eventually.

[Help] Sick, need to get better quick
/u/SoFetchBetch [Height 67.8" | CW 111lbs | GW 109lbs | BMI 16.85 | WL 17lbs | f]
Created: Mon Dec 7 02:39:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vrukz/sick_need_to_get_better_quick/
---
Ugh, guys, I'm sick and I need to be fully well by this weekend for a friend's birthday. Idk what to eat or what to do. I don't want to restrict cause I know it will impede healing. Helppp

[Discussion] DAE find that reading obese people trying to be underweight super motivational?
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Mon Dec 7 00:29:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vrk64/dae_find_that_reading_obese_people_trying_to_be/
---
My obese friend confessed to me that she wishes she were 87 pounds, and for some reason, that just killed my appetite completely. Is anyone else like this? I get so motivated from hearing obese people talk about losing weight. I'm not sure why.

Diet Buddy?
/u/underthebunker
Created: Mon Dec 7 00:29:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vrk5n/diet_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Help] Coffee Vending Machine Help??
/u/ItsAFetish [5'2.5//89 lbs.//BMI 16//16yrs old//F]
Created: Sun Dec 6 22:05:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vr5ap/coffee_vending_machine_help/
---
http://m.imgur.com/sRslDp5
I'm sorry if this comes off as a silly or frivolous question, but does anyone know how many calories are in a tall French vanilla coffee out of this specific machine? I usually get one 1-2 times a week from my school... Should I downgrade to a small? My daily intake is less than 250, if that helps.

[Rant] Ran into acquaintance buying binge foods
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 6 20:42:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vqv7j/ran_into_acquaintance_buying_binge_foods/
---
So sometimes I do this thing where I eat high volumes of low cal foods and other times I eat pop tarts for breakfast, skip lunch, and have 5-8 Oreos for dinner. I decided I'm going to do my junk food diet for a bit. I stay under a certain calorie limit so I get to lose weight while eating binge foods. It's fun sometimes.

Anyway, I went to Target in two cities away because I was planning on spending $100 on crap food and rice cakes and diet soda and I didn't want my local grocery store to see me and think I was gonna binge and purge. I didn't want to run into classmates or ANYONE. I was wearing the stereotypical anorexic chick outfit- too big pants, with too big sweater, and too big coat outfit, and I am heavily restricting today so I have dark circles BAD.

I fill up my cart with chips and cookies and soda and candy and all sorts of SHIT and random 0 calorie foods. It was really fun and my cart looked like I was about to binge, but the intention is to stagger eating the food over the next month+.

I go to the register and the FUCKING GRAD STUDENT FROM ONE OF MY CLASSES GETS IN LINE BEHIND ME and IDEK HIS NAME.

He says, "Hello Ssattub. I thought you lived in the city?"

I started slouching and being hella fidgety. Me (not lying): "I'm going to my brother's later."

Him: "Haha what's with all the junk food?"

So I told him my brother was throwing a party but omg I am pretty sure he could tell I was lying and made that up on the spot.

I feel so dirty. I literally drove for 40 minutes just so I wouldn't be seen and look what fucking happened. Now I have to see him in class Tuesday and I am so worried he will say something to me about my junk food cart or ask about this imaginary party.

[Discussion] I guess I'll introduce myself on here! :)
/u/skinnysweetpea [5'1/2"| 201lbs | 36 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 6 20:26:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vqt3f/i_guess_ill_introduce_myself_on_here/
---
Hi guys. I'm 21, and I've been going through binge-purge-restrict cycles for about six years so far. I was restricting heavily without counting calories this year and then I moved in with my boyfriend and long story short his attempts to get me to "recover" left me FAT. It is so much harder to say no to food from your SO than for your parents.


So I've been purging lately which makes me feel terrible for wasting his money, and otherwise taking adderall and drinking one green smoothie a day. I'm trying to start counting calories and thinking about starting the SGD again (that thing was my fucking bible in High School!) but I have one thing to tackle first. How do I get my BF to stop worrying about what I eat and just feed himself? His work schedule and my school schedule make it really easy to hide that I haven't eaten until dinnertime when he always wants to eat fast food :(.

Anyway, really glad to find a new community since Tumblr was basically raided and all the good content went away. Actually borrowed this username idea from a really old proED blog that was pretty famous but (awesomely for her) the girl who ran it has recovered. Hopefully she wouldn't mind! Looking forward to "getting to know" all of you! xoxo

[Discussion] Monday morning, let's start this week off right!
/u/caribblue [5'6 | 144.4 | 22-3ish | -14 | Frat princess]
Created: Sun Dec 6 20:23:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vqsn8/monday_morning_lets_start_this_week_off_right/
---
What do you hope to achieve this week? Food, fitness, or finals, I know we can all power through and rock it out!

Also day 7 of the month for those of us keeping track. :)

[Discussion] Short people of this sub: what are your stats and goals?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 6 19:18:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vqk56/short_people_of_this_sub_what_are_your_stats_and/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Lurker coming out of the shadows - my intro
/u/altforkicks [5'4 | 154 | -12 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 6 19:04:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vqics/lurker_coming_out_of_the_shadows_my_intro/
---
Hi everyone! I've been a lurker for a long time.... I never posted on my 'real' account because quite a few of my friends know my username. I'm 20 (almost 21!) and I'm a Junior in college in the US. I developed BED my freshman year mostly because of the people I was around. I am 5'4 and went from 120 to 160 by the end of that year and I've been yo-yoing since then. I love this community, and I'm really glad to join in :)

[Goal] GREAT NEWS
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 6 17:38:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vq6xq/great_news/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] One of my top triggers seems to be when plans change suddenly and it's driving me crazy.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5" | 133.6 | 22.5 | -36.4 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 6 17:35:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vq6hn/one_of_my_top_triggers_seems_to_be_when_plans/
---
I like to be given some notice before plans change or before going anywhere. It seems natural. I was supposed to have the house to myself from the 7th to the 16th. It was going to be great since my gym pass renewed and there is no food in the house.

As of an hour ago, I was just informed the trip is cancelled and everything is back to normal. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. I'm also pissed because that's when I was going to make Christmas gifts and try to sell some of my stuff since I simply cannot afford Christmas this year. Now I don't know what I'm going to do.

It's like when you already hit your calories for the day and then your family decides to go out for dinner. It just fucks everything up.

[Thinspo] Small thinspo album to kick off your week :)
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 116.6 | 19.63 | -39.4 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 6 16:09:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vpv0y/small_thinspo_album_to_kick_off_your_week/
---
http://imgur.com/a/5gbGw

[Discussion] How do y'all drink your coffee?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Dec 6 15:53:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vpsnb/how_do_yall_drink_your_coffee/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Anybody else hate their rib cage?
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sun Dec 6 14:55:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vpki1/anybody_else_hate_their_rib_cage/
---
I hate mine! It sticks out so much that I can't get the streamline look I wish I had. You know Betty Page's ribs? Those are basically mine, so my upper half seems disproportionately wide. :(

[Discussion] How long do your cravings last?
/u/paperwire [5'2 | 112 | 21.22 | -10 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 6 14:48:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vpjhl/how_long_do_your_cravings_last/
---
I wish my cravings would last like, a few hours and then go away. They never go away that fast though. It takes days. Right now, potato chips have been on my mind for the last 4 days...


How long do your guys' cravings usually last for?

[Discussion] All about the lurker train! (another introduction post)
/u/ED_alt [5'4" | 132 lbs | 22.7 | F (26)]
Created: Sun Dec 6 13:19:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vp5p2/all_about_the_lurker_train_another_introduction/
---
EDIT: Title was supposed to be "all ABOARD the lurker train," lol whoops. Guess I'll have to live with my mistakes :P

I felt inspired by everyone else making alts and coming out of the shadows, so I wanted to do it myself and hopefully keep the trend going!

The short version of my story is that I struggled with obesity hardcore as a child (>220lbs at 5'2" in middle school), and have gone through multiple periods of dieting, maintaining, and occasionally relapsing to get to where I am now. I definitely have a fucked up relationship with food. I obsess about it constantly! Right now I'm back on the weight loss train (recently started on an EC stack, which I find a fascinating experience) and really want to get down to a BMI of about 18 or 19 - really I want to weigh just enough to be competitive at running, which I love but I'm held back by the extra poundage I have weighing me down. And I want to be sexy lol.

My boyfriend knows I'm neurotic about food and have body image issues, but he has no idea how deep it goes... for example that I spend time browsing this subreddit. It's nice to feel like I'm not alone. I've seen other people say they wish there were more activity on this sub and I feel the same way so I hope to participate more going forward :)

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 06, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Dec 6 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vo4ha/daily_food_diary_december_06_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 06, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Rant] Emotional eating
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Sun Dec 6 08:45:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vo2ch/emotional_eating/
---
Most days I don't feel the need to eat outside of my controlled, calorie-counted food. I may get hungry but it's easily ignored and the hunger fades...

Then I have those bad days. I am not hungry, I don't NEED to eat outside of my low-calorie, controlled portions. But I want to. So badly.

I already have messed up this morning. I bought toaster strudel to fight my donut addiction but instead I can't stop thinking about those strudels now. I am not hungry!

Why is my brain torturing me with this idea that I should eat this just because I want to? Do I find eating that pleasurable? It's quick-lived and done in moments. I would be perfectly fine to fast today.

I feel like this is the epitome of emotional eating. I know I am not hungry, I do not feel hungry, yet my desire for something sweet and "bad" is overwhelming and distracting.

I already hate my body. These desires are starting to make me hate ME. I should be stronger than this. I already binge-eat junk food enough times.

I can be stronger than this...right?

I need to be stronger than this. Food doesn't need to control me.

[Help] Will I ever feel skinny?
/u/fuckyeahglitters [5'7 | 130 | 20.05 | -40 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 6 03:33:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vnc1l/will_i_ever_feel_skinny/
---
If I look in the mirror, I see someone skinny. When I look at my shadow, I see someone skinny. When I look at my arms and legs, I see skinny arms and legs. But will I ever feel skinny? Why is the difference between being skinny and feeling skinny so huge?

[Rant] Random Rant
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 91 | 14.7 | -33 | F]
Created: Sun Dec 6 00:22:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vmz1b/random_rant/
---
I have always associated being fat with being pathetic - weak, entitled, needy, dependent yet not deserving of help or love from others.

A lot of other girls/women on this sub like to be "fragile" and "delicate", but for me, being thin was more about strength. I don't *need* food, I don't *need* others to like me or to find me attractive. It isn't really the numbers that I care for more; I like the hunger and the feeling of my bones.

I dislike emotions. I dislike the overdramatic, self-pitying way that fat people complain about being fat yet do nothing about it. I hate how they always look sad and defeated and insecure and try so hard to gain acceptance.

But you know what's ironic is that everything I hate about fat people exist in many people with EDs: the pathetic, weak, insecure, and overly emotional personalities. I suppose we never truly leave our old bodies.

I am skinny now. It makes me proud when I eat my salad by myself, pretending to be texting someone on my phone, while looking at all those other fat bitches gorge themselves with french fries and ice cream. I know they look at me out of the corner of their eyes and look at my legs and my arms. I know they wish they were as thin as I am. I look down on them for their weakness. They wish they were thin, but they can't resist a bite of that brownie. They can't resist a nibble of french fries. They can't put down their fucking fork for once in their fat, pathetic lives. And when they do try to "diet", they pathetically give up after a week.

And I hate them even more because as they eat, they complain about all the calories they are consuming while exchanging gossip about the frat boy on the first floor who fucked the Asian sorority girl... They talk about their diets and their workout routines and how they're on a "detox" for the gala next week. They debate whether they should go to the party at AK or Sig Phi.

I hate that they have a future, and I don't. I hate that I am only worth a quick look out of the corner of their eyes.

A little something I drew to pass the hours fasting (nsfw-ish)
/u/secretskinny [5'8.5| 116 | 17.4 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 22:10:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vmmyf/a_little_something_i_drew_to_pass_the_hours/
---
http://imgur.com/fKSw0Py

[Rant] Ugh >:(
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149 | 27.2 | 1.6 lbs | F | oink oink]
Created: Sat Dec 5 22:07:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vmmoz/ugh/
---
I weighed 152.8 this morning and now I weigh 156.0. Disgusting. I'm just gonna fast forever it's fine. I hate this!

[Discussion] Hello. Stepping out of the lurky shadows.
/u/norge_erkult [5'8.5" (174 cm) | 145.9 lbs (66.2 kg) | BMI 21.78 | -15 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 19:29:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vm5fw/hello_stepping_out_of_the_lurky_shadows/
---
Hi all,

I wanted to introduce myself finally since a) I finally made a separate account for this sub, which I've been following for about...4 months now? And b) due to recent posts about lurkers. I will start off by saying that I previously restricted very heavily in my high school days, weighing about 120 pounds at almost 5'9". I was running a lot too. I was definitely half in denial about having anorexia and had people making terrible comments to me all the time but I didn't think it was that bad. At the end of high school I ballooned up by like 30 pounds very quickly and was later diagnosed with an underactive thyroid. Once that shit was fixed I got my weight back down to between 130-140.

So as my flair says, I'm relatively heavy right now. However, I've really been able to get back into restricting 100% because of the help of you all and knowing that all of you are out there dealing with the same things. Similarly to another poster, I've recently graduated college, am at a well-paying and prestigious sit-on-your-ass-all-day job that I seriously cannot stand (it definitely depresses me), and just broke up with my significant other of many years. I kept telling myself I was okay with everything but the contrary was clearly expressed in my eating habits.

I started binging pretty seriously over the last 3 months and wasting serious amounts on money on food. Serious serious amounts that made me ashamed. I legitimately felt like a drug addict and couldn't stop. I gained about 20 pounds from the weight I'd maintained throughout college through watching my diet like a hawk and playing sports (even that was never low enough for me, but it was good enough for that time while I had to focus on school).

Anyway, up until very recently I was beyond depressed, felt *very* out of control, basically dressed in potato sacks, avoided my very good friends and felt terrible about it. I didn't want anyone to see me like this but I think they just think I don't care about them :(. I have pretty intense social anxiety and this made it 10x worse. I also felt too fundamentally chaotic and depressed to do important things that I need to do like get my grad school apps in order. Weight-related stuff has a really serious and sometimes debilitating mental affect on me that cascades into all other areas of my life. I hate it but I can't change it-- I can only work with the demon.

I knew I couldn't go on like this yet I kept binging...but one day, it finally clicked. I started restricting and was actually able to commit to it. I eased myself into doing physical sports again (god, it is so much harder with extra weight). After seeing your experiences with Bronkaid/Primatene, I finally was able to go out and find some. *Dear.god.it.works. I had no idea.* This has I think provided the ultimate kick that let me take control back. It is legitimately miraculous and has helped me snap out of this.

Currently I'm down 12 pounds but I hope to get back down to around 125 ultimately. I'm not looking forward to the body-critical comments but I'm aiming for a BMI of around 19. At that weight I think I can still be functional in my sport (which can be pretty intense). I haven't binged in 12 days now but I kind of broke it yesterday by eating a normal amount since I knew that I'd be doing an intense long-distance event. I've also finally been able to make progress on my grad school apps and am feeling pretty confident/motivated. Things are looking up.

Anyway, again, what I want to say is... thank you. Seriously. I can't say at this point what the advice and presence of you all has saved me from, but it has helped me to divert myself from a really shitty path. Sorry for the massive amount of text here. Hope you all have had a lovely day!

edit: typos

[Rant] The loneliness is killing me
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 18:36:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vlyyt/the_loneliness_is_killing_me/
---
I've been so lonely these days. I have no friends, the only person I ever really talk to is my mom. I just wish I had someone to talk to, that's probably why I post so much on this sub, haha.
I don't know how to get over the loneliness. I just want friends

Thank You, Stranger!
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 18:10:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vlvso/thank_you_stranger/
---
Inn a different thread by a now deleted account, someone recommended the P90x ab ripper video as something that helped them lose belly fat quickly.

Yesterday I managed to convince my boyfriend to do it with me every other day for the next week, last night being the first session. I've never succeeded in this before! So excited I broke my inactivity spell. Thank you!

[Help] Restricting but not losing weight/or losing really slowly
/u/whyhelloothere [162cm| 52 kg| 20.2| -13 kg| F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 17:05:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vlnk3/restricting_but_not_losing_weightor_losing_really/
---
[removed]

Hey y'all just wanted to make a suggestion. :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 5 16:38:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vlk4b/hey_yall_just_wanted_to_make_a_suggestion/
---
[removed]

[Rant] Proud of myself for making it through last night
/u/glitter-glam [5'4" | 114.2 lbs | 19.99 | -12.4 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 14:39:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vl4ef/proud_of_myself_for_making_it_through_last_night/
---
Last night was a serious test of my self-control! I'm in college living in the dorms, and last night we first went out to dinner at the dining hall (had a sandwich, ate about half). They had both lemon bars and my favorite brownies as options for dessert, and despite all of my friends having multiple I avoided them. I usually have a REALLY hard time not grabbing those brownies, they're super delicious and have triggered many a binge for me.

Then, we went and smoked, and then went BACK to the dining hall, where I didn't eat, just had water despite feeling the munchies (and those brownies still there tempting me). Then we went and took a few shots, I didn't take any chaser and just had 2 shots of vodka straight. Then we went to an event my college was throwing to help us destress from finals, where they gave you one free jumbo-sized candy of your choice (I picked out a Twix) and then there was a whole table of smaller candies that you could take as many as you want from. Redvines, oreos, mini Milkyway bars, and my all time favorite candy, Sourpatch kids. I grabbed one pack of Sourpatch and threw it in my pocket, along with my Twix. We played board games for a while, jumped in a bouncy house, hula-hooped, I had a blast and never once reached for any of the free treats.

When we went back to the dorms to hang out, I took one more shot and then watched as my friends ate a bunch of chips, candy, ramen, and trail mix that they had in their room. Although it was difficult for me to do (I almost wanted to save them, so I could eat them in private later), I offered my Twix and my Sourpatch kids to my friends and let them eat them.

Coming back to my room at the end of the night, I was seriously tempted to grab some of my lower-calorie snacks and eat them, but in the end I just went to sleep instead.

All in all for the day, including the alcohol, I came out to 1025 calories, and all things considered I'm really happy with that. I usually try to stay under 1000 and the fact that I managed to stay that close even with 3 shots of vodka and munchies in a potential binge-haven is some sort of miracle.


I'm usually more of a lurker but I'd like to get a bit more involved in this lovely community :3 Do any of you guys have tips for how you maintain your self-control in tempting situations like this?

[Thinspo] Need some thinspo today?
/u/somanybigbutts [5'6 | 98.3 lbs | 15.23 | F |]
Created: Sat Dec 5 14:25:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vl2ij/need_some_thinspo_today/
---
http://imgur.com/a/GntYs

[Goal] Fasted successfully for 36 hours!
/u/juniorkickstart [5'4" | 145.3 | 25.38 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 12:06:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vkivs/fasted_successfully_for_36_hours/
---
I looked in the fridge SO MANY TIMES. I almost made food so many times! But I didn't. Then I got drunk and had some junk but only about 1700 calories worth ( ugh a lot still, but I can eat a lot more than that, so I'm glad I didn't) and I'm going to work out today and fast which should kind I balance it out. Before the 36 hours I only had a very small amount if food as well, and definitely had done 12 hours before that so I think it should be okay in the end. Don't want to weigh myself because I'm full of coffee and water but I think after a good workout maybe I'll give it a shot. Thanks to all of you, this sub is so motivational!

[Rant] Introduction from a lurker
/u/hothouse_flower [5'9" | 133 | 19.29 | -9 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 11:42:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vkfhl/introduction_from_a_lurker/
---
I've been lurking for a while, but all the recent posts about wanting more participation in this sub inspired me to make an alt account.

I really struggled with my eating after a breakup in college and ended up losing 30 pounds one semester through restriction and obsessive exercise (my low weight was 127 lb at 5'9") . Going home for christmas break that winter removed me from my anxieties and kind of hit a reset button. I slowly put the weight back on (granted not all of it) and now think of that period of my life as one of the lowest.

I feel like I'm circling the drain again. I had a horrible year last year and ended up moving back home with my mom in September. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed, I don't have a job and just feel like I'm not in control. I don't know what made me start counting calories and restricting again, but here I am all over again. It sucks, and it feels worse this time because I know losing weight won't make anything better. I know the thinner I get the more I'll hate my body. The last time I felt this way I really was convinced I was in control. But now I know I'm not. I know I don't want to be like this but I can't stop. But I'm not ready to ask for help or admit this is happening to anyone. I feel torn between my compulsion to restrict and lose weight and my desire to have a normal relationship with food.

It feels good to write this out. This sub makes me realize that I'm not alone and that what I'm going through is legitimate. Most of the time I just feel embarrassed and shameful about it. I suppose I still do, but it's nice to know that you guys will understand. So thank you.

(and sorry, I'm on mobile and don't know how to flair my post... Just kidding, figured it out)

[Rant] Fuck alcohol.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 5 11:41:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vkfaa/fuck_alcohol/
---
[deleted]

[Rant] Why the fuck is everything about eating??
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Sat Dec 5 11:14:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vkbkb/why_the_fuck_is_everything_about_eating/
---
I'm so irritated right now. I want to hang out with my friends but everything anyone wants to do involves food. "I haven't seen you in forever! Let's go eat bottomless brunch!" Going for a walk "want to grab a churro?" Food is fucking everywhere and it's starting to piss me off. I blew off two friends who went out last night because I didn't want to have to worry about ordering club soda and being questioned.

I have a friend who is planning a special movie marathon just for me because I haven't seen them yet but she's made it a brunch and is cooking all this shit so I'll have to eat something not to be rude.

WHY the fuck is everything about fucking food??? It makes me want to just isolate myself and spend my whole weekend alone, but I'm already depressed and yearning for social contact. I just feel like I can't win.

[Rant] People making comments about your body
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 10:59:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vk9ji/people_making_comments_about_your_body/
---
Urg, my dad just told me that I need to put some meat on my bones. He knows about my eating disorder. I just snapped at him and told him he was never allowed to make comments about my body or what I eat. Urg, he just pissed me off soo much.

http://www.anorexicdiettips.com/anorexic-diet-anorexic-people/
/u/katyslater
Created: Sat Dec 5 10:49:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vk891/httpwwwanorexicdiettipscomanorexicdietanorexicpeop/
---
http://www.anorexicdiettips.com/anorexic-diet-anorexic-people/

[Tip] Biotin and appetite
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Dec 5 09:32:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vjy4x/biotin_and_appetite/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 05, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Dec 5 09:02:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vju9h/daily_food_diary_december_05_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 05, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Well, that hit home...
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 08:24:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vjq27/well_that_hit_home/
---
http://imgur.com/lZP1zS9

[Rant] How to not take a compliment
/u/AlmondDarling
Created: Sat Dec 5 08:09:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vjoch/how_to_not_take_a_compliment/
---
I feel terrible. My boyfriend and I binged together last night.

For me, it started with his mother making pizza (side note, I'm following Keto...she knows this and is doing an obviously crappy and half-assed job of following it herself) and bringing home a tin of holiday butter cookies.

Usually I take pride in being better than I was the day before, I like feeling superior to myself so binging isn't normally an issue for me (my boyfriend really suffers). Nor is it difficult for me to usually just say no to bad foods. For me, hunger is something to feel proud of. I don't know why my brain does this, it's not to be better than others but to be better than *myself.*

His mother and I ate all but two slices.

He and I split (of what I can *remember*) a very unhealthy salad with more cheese and croutons than anything else, a giant bowl of Raisin Bran with way too much chocolate cashew milk, several butter cookies (also some added to the cereal), I think he had some *slimjims* (ew) that we wolfed down....

Just a few minutes ago, right after we woke up, he was in the bathroom and was looking at me. "You look skinny today." I've lost overall almost 20lbs in the past several months (not enough and not fast enough). "No I don't." I turned sideways and grabbed my belly fat, "look. I don't look skinny. This isn't what skinny looks like!" As I walk away he asks "then what is it?" I holler back, "it's fat, because I'm freaking fat!"

It wasn't an argument, and usually he's very against me saying bad things about myself. But this time he let it stick.

I should have just taken the compliment so he could have felt like he was being nice. I feel so ashamed of myself, I feel so bloated and I obviously won't be getting on my scale today. I was curious about my progress too but I'm sure I've probably gained several pounds over the past two weeks or so.

[Thinspo] A few thinspo pics to get the day going!
/u/skinnystupid [5'2 | 114.6 | 21 | 30.4lbs lost | F]
Created: Sat Dec 5 07:57:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vjmxy/a_few_thinspo_pics_to_get_the_day_going/
---
http://imgur.com/a/zEXfj

[Discussion] Do you measure yourself and what are your measurements and/or goals?
/u/Ellae [5' 3.5" | 105.7 lbs. | 18.87 | -36.6 | Female]
Created: Sat Dec 5 07:17:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vjiqu/do_you_measure_yourself_and_what_are_your/
---
I finally bought another tape measure. I started getting curious because I haven't measured myself since last summer and I thought my waist was looking smaller. It's not as small as I was hoping but I have lost an inch since then.

I was just curious over your measurements and your goals surrounding them. I also wondered what else I should keep track of (like my thighs).

Bust: 30.5" (Sad...for me.)

Waist: 25.5"

Hips: 34.5"

Widest part of thigh: 18.5" (So big!)

If there is already a thread for this, please re-direct me.


Edit: Oh yeah, my goals! Well, I would be happier to have more boobs, but that's not going to happen naturally.

Waist goal: >25"

Thigh goal: Hmmm...I want them to be smaller. Maybe >17"? I need comparisons though.

[Discussion] My introduction! :3
/u/skinnystupid [5'2 | 114.6 | 21 | 30.4lbs lost | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 21:56:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3viag8/my_introduction_3/
---
Hi, I'm Kimber! I have a personal reddit, but people in my life know what it is. I've been lurking for a long time because I don't want them to snoop on my ED shit, but I made a separate account so I could start participating! Glad to be here! :3

First post here, really trying to keep up with my weightloss
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 4 21:16:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vi6gn/first_post_here_really_trying_to_keep_up_with_my/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Eating disorder without dismorphia
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 19:26:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vhu82/eating_disorder_without_dismorphia/
---
Usually people who have eating disorders have body dismorphia and see themselves as larger than they really are. I used to be really dismorphic, but not this time. I can see that I'm thin, I probably don't see myself as thin as other people see me, but I still see someone who is thin. But I want to get even thinner, pretty much a skeleton. Is anyone else like this?

[Help] The more I eat the hungrier I get?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 4 19:04:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vhrpl/the_more_i_eat_the_hungrier_i_get/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Do you think your eating disorder will kill you?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 18:15:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vhm46/do_you_think_your_eating_disorder_will_kill_you/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vhm46/do_you_think_your_eating_disorder_will_kill_you/

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Dutch model Kiki Willems (her Yves Saint Laurent ad was banned from Elle for promoting "anorexia chic")
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 17:15:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vheto/thinspo_dutch_model_kiki_willems_her_yves_saint/
---
http://i.imgur.com/18115jW.jpg

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Karlie Kloss - Vogue Italia 2011
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 17:09:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vhdzu/thinspo_karlie_kloss_vogue_italia_2011/
---
http://i.imgur.com/N8CeQTA.jpg

[Discussion] *Different* kind of movie about self-starvation
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 160.4 | 29.34 | -14.6 | Female]
Created: Fri Dec 4 16:18:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vh7fw/different_kind_of_movie_about_selfstarvation/
---
TLDR: Read a post today that reminded me of this kind of out-there movie **Sound of Insects** and thought some of my fellow proED-ditors might be interested. It follows a man who journals his journey through solitary, self-starvation.

Ā 


I found myself replying earlier to a beautifully written [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vf3a5/heres_some_melodrama_for_your_friday_morning/) by /u/thunderbirdandspice and was touched and reminded of a movie I recently discovered... it occurred to me that maybe someone else from this sub might be interested, too. While I thoroughly enjoy the typical ED type shows like *Starving Secrets*, *Intervention*, etc. and documentaries about Renfrew and *I'm A Child Anorexic* and the like, the movie I'm writing to inform you about has a completely different approach. It focuses on a single individual's journey with his choice of isolation and self-starvation, all while free of outside judgement or anybody's attempt to intervene. In all honesty, I doubt it is actually categorized as an ED film, but I think a lot of you will find yourselves relating very intimately to the words and the message.

Ā 

It is called **Sound of Insects** and it is about a man who deliberately starves himself to death, alone in a remote wooded area. The description from Amazon is *"In a remote forest, a hunter discovers a mummified corpse and a diary, detailing the man's thoughts as he commits suicide through self-imposed starvation..."* It may not sound appealing at first, but allow me to clear up some misconceptions the description might imply...

Ā 

Though it refers to his "mummified corpse," I assure you it is not gore-filled or crime-scene-esque, nor is it anything one might expect it to be (at least it wasn't for me). In fact, most of the movie's visualizations are actually nice, forest scenery (nothing of the body or even of the guy, that I recall actually), and after the first few^dull minutes (*setup and such*) it is basically a monologue in essence about self-starvation. The man's voice is reassuring and soothing to me, and I often play the movie as background noise when I cant sleep at night. It is kind of like my own personal, secret dark lullaby that helps me to slip into sleep. For me, the character is surprisingly **not** depressing per se, but better described as a serene voice of determination and, ultimately, success. His journey makes me feel relaxed and like I have a(n imaginary) friend to go through this with, right by my side. I recommend viewing it if I've piqued your interest, especially if you're a fan of proAna type poetry or need help relaxing/falling asleep.

Ā 

Let me know what you think please! Have a happy weekend!!

[Thinspo] My Thinspo Journal
/u/Kapattak [5'7" | 124.4 | 19.42 | -16.8 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 15:52:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vh41c/my_thinspo_journal/
---
http://imgur.com/a/hZDHT

[Discussion] Anyone on here not sure they have an ed?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 4 15:43:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vh2qt/anyone_on_here_not_sure_they_have_an_ed/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] A question (and perhaps why so many of us are lurkers)
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 122.0 | 21.35 | 103 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 14:45:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vgueu/a_question_and_perhaps_why_so_many_of_us_are/
---
I think it's a safe thing to say that there are parts of reddit that are nicer than others, and if not nicer, certainly safer. Since there's no way (other than deleting) to hide your post history, once we post here, any one can click and see where we spend our time, make really stupid judgments about who we are, and (in the worst of cases), orange envelope us about how awful we must be. If there's one thing I could explain to people outside our community it's how important having this community is to so many of us and why it's **not** the terrible thing they assume it is... but I digress.

Does anyone else find it hard once they've posted here to post in other subs? Is it just an indicator of my own anxiety and I'm totally alone in this? Since so much of who we are centers around hiding, perhaps the reason why our survey suggests that so many of us lurk is because we're afraid to out ourselves even online by posting *here* if we're active in other subs. What do you guys think?

[Goal] You guys it came!
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 14:16:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vgq6l/you_guys_it_came/
---
http://imgur.com/a/e2g5A

[Discussion] Yup, I'm sure this is EXACTLY how we all react to our weigh-ins. [Entertainment/Satire]
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 13:18:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vghgr/yup_im_sure_this_is_exactly_how_we_all_react_to/
---
http://i.imgur.com/cCPOjGJ.jpg

[Help] [TMI] Constipation issue
/u/finch_love [5'6" | 184.4 | 29.76 | -35.6 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 11:21:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vfzwh/tmi_constipation_issue/
---
We're all big boys and girls here so thank you in advance for taking my post seriously.



First, a quick intro: I'm in my mid-twenties and have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I've always been very muscular and participated in a lot of sports growing up so I never had that "physique" I always wanted but hoped one day I could get there. I fell into a deep depression about 5 years ago back and everything fell apart. I stopped all physical activity and food became my comfort. If I wasn't at work, I was laying in my bed either trying to sleep or having a panic attack. I wound up in the hospital and got things turned around but then I got pregnant and my weight ballooned even further. I've been attempting to get rid of it since I gave birth. I tried to lose the weight without counting calories because I know what that does to me and I didn't want to spiral into obsession again but here I am. I'm not upset that I'm back to this; I've been here before and it's a comfort zone for me. I have control over something and it feels amazing, especially when everything else in my life feels like it's in disarray.



So here's my issue: I started phentermine about a month ago and have since dropped ~18 pounds. I pretty much only eat ~500 calories a day. I try to drink a ton of water, but I'm really bad about it. I thought that I wasn't having bowel movements because my body was using up everything I was giving it, but I guess that's not the case because I started to get that "constipation" feeling and finally had a bowel movement after about a week. Honestly, I've only had 4 bowel movements in the last month (and they haven't been pleasant). That number sounds horrible but I don't physically feel any worse for it. I still sort of feel like it's because my body is using all/most of what I'm giving it (but I'm no expert and could be completely wrong). Does the digestive system freak out like this when calorie consumption is cut dramatically? I know the phentermine can also be the culprit but maybe it's a combination of that and the big calorie cutting. Does the digestive system adjust to the reduction in calories and start acting "normal" again or is this going to be an ongoing problem?

[Rant] Gained sooo much recently... Its stops NOW!
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 160.4 | 29.34 | -14.6 | Female]
Created: Fri Dec 4 10:49:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vfuz5/gained_sooo_much_recently_its_stops_now/
---
I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror anymore. I am almost back to the most I have ever weighed. At my lowest, I was just under 110lbs. I felt ahhhhmazing! I saw nothing wrong and wanted to keep losing, but my doctor and family were concerned, I was still a minor (~11yrs ago), and of course they won out on that one. Fast forward to my early twenties... At my worst, I was 193lbs. I lost 60lbs in a year a few years ago and had been maintaining more or less until a year or two ago. IDK what happened?! This year I have been not just letting old habits creep back in, but basically embracing them and clinging to them. I can't be this fat I MUST LOSE IT and more. I have started weighing myself daily (okay several times a day) and recording it and graphing it. I have started cutting out thinspo and I'm going to put it up next to my bed and in my bathroom so I see it EVERY day. I've been on and off back to the gym, but when I get into it I love it, so I'm planning on wearing ONLY workout clothes until I go every day and only allow myself to change after I've burned off some of this disgusting fat.
Sorry for the long rant, but I just can't stand what I've become and I dont know if I'm looking for similar stories, support, or what but I just had to get that off my chest. 172.2 big fat lbs as of this post, and hopefully I can post with a lower weight to update y'all next week. I love this sub. Thx for listening.

[Rant] Arg! fat fat go away!
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 10:27:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vfrtt/arg_fat_fat_go_away/
---
So, I'm fat, yup, I know it. I'm working on it. But the thing bugging me today is how sssssslllllooooowwww I'm working on it. I'm staying (just) under 900 cals to loose kinda slowly, because at my (big fat) size, I'd like to avoid loose skin. 900 feels like I'm doing something, but not too much (i dunno, it may be too much restriction, I may just like the number 900, I don't know). But, I know as soon as I get rid of this disgusting pooch on my stomach, I will feel ok to restrict more. I live alone, so restrictions or doing a fast wouldn't make any one suspicious or anything. Aaaaaarg, I just wish I could go faster!

[Discussion] do you believe in the so called "negative calorie" foods?
/u/skinnyb0y [5Ā“8 | 112 | 16,84 | -21lbs | male]
Created: Fri Dec 4 10:01:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vfo25/do_you_believe_in_the_so_called_negative_calorie/
---
iĀ“m not sure and i wanted to know what other people think

[Goal] I can fit my second-smallest pair of jeans again
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Fri Dec 4 09:58:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vfnkl/i_can_fit_my_secondsmallest_pair_of_jeans_again/
---
I am very proud of this - I can fit my "25"" (but clearly more like 24.5") jeans perfectly, for the first time in months.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 04, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 4 09:02:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vffjj/daily_food_diary_december_04_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 04, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] Little recopilation of thinspo gifs
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 08:42:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vfcqn/little_recopilation_of_thinspo_gifs/
---
http://imgur.com/a/BbgQT

[Discussion] Ok, question: What does everybody do to distract themselves when they're reeeeeally hungry?
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Fri Dec 4 07:29:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vf3b1/ok_question_what_does_everybody_do_to_distract/
---
Just curious - we all have our weird habits, I bet.
So, when I have that gnawing hunger one gets sometimes, I:

Go on very short walks, but do them repeatedly, back and forth. Almost like a very elongated form of pacing.

Bake fancy things for other people (for some reason...?). But make sure I chew gum or brush my teeth beforehand so I don't get tempted to have a taste while preparing ingredients.

Paint my nails. (Once I painted little fruits on my nails and then it kept making me hungry. #JustEDThings)

Draw.

Draw on my arms with pen (should probably stop doing this).

Drink coffee all the time / take stimulants sometimes (should ALSO stop doing this so much :/)

Read books. Read graphic novels. Read the newspaper. Read ED-related books (Know any good ones?). Read old children's books I loved when I was little. Read the backs of cereal boxes. Read the nutritional labels of like everything in the house, even things I will definitely never eat. Read everything I can get my hands on.

Go to my university's library and sit in the No Food section / study until the library closes / but end up fucking around on my computer for ages.

Write letters.

Smoke too many cigarettes.

here's some melodrama for your Friday morning.
/u/thunderbirdandspice [5'10" | 136 | 19.5 | -10 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 07:29:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vf3a5/heres_some_melodrama_for_your_friday_morning/
---
72 hours into a fast,

My lips are cracking, but something in me tells me they could crack even more.
My head is splitting, it's keeping thoughts from forming the way they should, but I can manage to think "you could hurt worse".
I'm so cold, but I only need one blanket, I should keep going until I'm in a place where I need three.
I think for a while, it would be nice to be warm and not in pain and have some color in my cheeks,
but what would I even be if it weren't for this?

I wish I knew all of you in real life.
So at least, while I'm shivering with my eyes closed under the covers, I wouldn't be alone.

I can't post in stickied threads?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Dec 4 07:16:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vf1nm/i_cant_post_in_stickied_threads/
---
[removed]

[Help] Can't find my posts?
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Fri Dec 4 07:03:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vf02k/cant_find_my_posts/
---
I don't know if this belongs here but I can't see any of my own posts in the proED sub. Even when I click 'new' and scroll back to the time when I posted it just doesn't show up. I can find it if I go to my own page, but what is happening? Is this normal?

[Thinspo] Squad goals [thinspo]
/u/fragileboness [5'8"| CW 107 | BMI 16 | -18 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 06:48:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vey8b/squad_goals_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/ShGLoIb.jpg

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! December 04, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Dec 4 05:02:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3veo1w/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_december_04/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for December 04, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Tip] An RPG app we can play together to lose weight.
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Fri Dec 4 04:30:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vele4/an_rpg_app_we_can_play_together_to_lose_weight/
---
I was lurking in an askreddit post about apps that have had a legitimately positive impact on people and one of the apps mentioned was called Habitica. You can download it free in the app store [here](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=4&cad=rja&uact=8&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwjIw8DTh8LJAhVM6yYKHSJMC1UQFggoMAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fitunes.apple.com%2Fus%2Fapp%2Fhabitica-stay-motivated-gamified%2Fid994882113%3Fmt%3D8&usg=AFQjCNFVI-X6k2TGqWnQGjmWgZwEDWNycg&sig2=ZQStRbhFKE-xdB48NiAUkw&bvm=bv.108538919,d.eWE).

I downloaded it immediately and it's so flipping cute. You get this little avatar and set your goals. I picked exercise and cleaning (I'm a slob) and you get these quests (10 minutes of cardio, do the dishes, set up workout schedule). As you check them off, you gain experience to level up and you use the gold to buy armor and stuff.
You can join parties of people with similar goals and fight monsters on the website. I have created a party called "Renfrew" (I didn't want it to be obvious to outsiders and it's a sort of inside joke that only I will probably find funny.)

I was thinking since it was a free download, why not try it out. So far, it has gotten me to the gym for the first time in for fucking ever and I spent two hours working out. If you're interested, inbox me. I think this could be a lot of fun!

tl;dr join me in using rpg habit app for evil

Edit: I got ahead of myself and didn't check for autocorrects.

[Tip] UK people - handy snacks/meals in tescos
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 122 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Fri Dec 4 01:57:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ve9r5/uk_people_handy_snacksmeals_in_tescos/
---
I don't know if there's a lot of UK people on here, but I've just noticed today that they sell 300g bags of carrot batons for 50p (or 3 for Ā£1).

Low cal and filling. Just picked up some for lunch. You can also swap in some different bags for steamable (is that a word?) vegetables for the same offer.

Is this the sort of post people want to see here?

[Discussion] Betches Love This: Diets [Entertainment/Satire!]
/u/SoFetchBetch [Height 67.8" | CW 111lbs | GW 109lbs | BMI 16.85 | WL 17lbs | f]
Created: Fri Dec 4 00:56:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ve54p/betches_love_this_diets_entertainmentsatire/
---
http://www.betches.com/Diets

[Discussion] A little off topic: Any Vegetarians here?
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Fri Dec 4 00:50:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ve4n4/a_little_off_topic_any_vegetarians_here/
---
I've been a vegetarian for a year now. A lot of people I know have been meat-free for 5+ years, so I guess I'm very "new" to it. Do you think being a vegetarian affects your ED? Did you become one for health reasons, or different reasons?

After I stopped eating meat it drastically changed my bulimia. I binged and purged every single day, sometimes multiple times a day for 5 years, until now where it happens maybe once or twice a month. I did it because I've always wanted to be a vegetarian, since I was little. But my family would not cook the foods I wanted. After I had my own money I decided I'd eat whatever I want. I love it! I think it'll be a lifelong diet for me.

[Help] Anti-depressant is making me hungry. [help]
/u/pessimisticpachyderm [5'4 | 118.6 | 20.4 | -9 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 3 23:54:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vdzpa/antidepressant_is_making_me_hungry_help/
---
First time poster, long time lurker. Before I discuss my issues with my current medication, I'd like to share a bit of backstory. Over the past year I've restricted my calories to ~1100 per day, been fairly active, and had lost about 10 pounds. I am 5'3, and currently weigh 123. My low was 113, and I was very proud of it. UGW is 99. About 3 months ago, my depression became severe, I lost motivation to maintain myself, and I've been actively suicidal.

I was recently admitted to a partial hospitalization program, and my psychiatrist prescribed me Prozac. I have a few issues with this drug, mainly the ridiculous increase in hunger that it has been causing. I have very little appetite from my depression and do not want to eat, but my stomach sometimes hurts incredibly badly from hunger even after a relatively large meal. It makes it uncomfortable to be awake, and is threatening everything I've worked so hard for.

I guess I'm not sure what to do. If I stop the medication, I will be sent spiraling deeper and deeper into depression. However, if I continue, I'm afraid that I will lose any progress that I have made over this past year. Please help, guys. You're the only ones I can talk to about this.

[Thinspo] Some Thinspo
/u/LadySkywalker
Created: Thu Dec 3 22:44:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vdsge/some_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/cSoQ9

[Help] I have two pumpkin scones sitting on the counter right now, help distract me!
/u/juniorkickstart [5'4" | 145.3 | 25.38 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 3 22:11:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vdonu/i_have_two_pumpkin_scones_sitting_on_the_counter/
---
And I hve only had a small amount of gluten free crackers with a third of an avocado and a few tablespoons of tapenade, probably only about 500 cals, and I'm back in the 140's finally, but I'm so hungry ugh. I'm so tempted! But I don't want to undo my work today. An want to try to fast tomorrow too... Bah! Any comments or distractions appreciated! Sorry mods, on mobile, thus no flair or whatever for the post.

[Discussion] Watching a cartoon...
/u/smallprincess [5' | 171.2# | bmi35.21 | -40.8# | F]
Created: Thu Dec 3 20:33:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vdc6h/watching_a_cartoon/
---
So I'm watching a certain cartoon with brightly colored small equines. And a character eats several cupcakes. And my *first* thought is: huh, wonder how she's gonna burn that off.

That was weird.

Anyone else have just bizarre ed-related thoughts?

[Discussion] Peeing while purging... sorry if TMI
/u/whatupmyknitta [5'2'' | 160.4 | 29.34 | -14.6 | Female]
Created: Thu Dec 3 19:57:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vd7eo/peeing_while_purging_sorry_if_tmi/
---
When I purge, I've noticed more and more lately that I pee a little. Even if I thought I'd completely emptied my bladder just seconds before (both because I want to avoid this leakage lol, but also because it's easier to make everything come up if I'm already looking at a used toilet bowl), I still get at least a trickle and sometimes more that sneaks down my leg. It's gotten to the point that I just put a little towel down to stand on. I don't know why I'm posting this, I know it's gross, I guess I just wanted to hear I'm not the only one?
Also, what other gross things do you notice that people don't usually mention about ED?

[Discussion] I wish there was more activity on this sub!
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 3 19:22:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vd2mz/i_wish_there_was_more_activity_on_this_sub/
---
I absolutely love this subreddit, I just wish there was more activity on it! I'm often on here refreshing the "new" page, hoping there's a new post. All of the lurkers should come out of the woodwork and participate!

[Goal] going on a 2 day fast!
/u/proedthrowawayy
Created: Thu Dec 3 18:57:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vczam/going_on_a_2_day_fast/
---
just drinking water and coffee, pm your skype name if you want in and i can make a groupchat of all of us :)

[Discussion] NIH Dietary Supplements for Weight Loss Fact Sheet
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 3 17:29:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vcnos/nih_dietary_supplements_for_weight_loss_fact_sheet/
---
Linked here:
> [This fact sheet](https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/WeightLoss-HealthProfessional/) provides information on weight-loss dietary supplements, including summaries of research on the safety and efficacy of several of the most commonly used ingredients in these products.

I find Table 1 to be particularly interesting:

> Table 1 briefly summarizes the findings discussed in more detail in this fact sheet on the safety and efficacy of the most common ingredients of weight-loss dietary supplements. These ingredients are listed and discussed in the table and in the text in alphabetical order. Dosage information is provided when such information is available.

I found this when researching use of nicotine (gum/patches) as an appetite suppressant in non-smokers.

[Tip] Do you feel hungry?
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Thu Dec 3 16:46:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vchuc/do_you_feel_hungry/
---
http://imgur.com/p167WTT

[Rant] Need to vent about my BF role in my ED (long, sorry)
/u/paperwire [5'2 | 112 | 21.22 | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 3 16:23:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vcemy/need_to_vent_about_my_bf_role_in_my_ed_long_sorry/
---
I haven't told anyone this before because it just sounds so fucked up to admit and I seriously don't think anyone else would understand without thinking I'm batshit insane. I just feel so alone keeping this to myself and I need to share with someone (i.e., you guys)

If you don't feel like reading the block of text to come, **TL;DR**: My boyfriend is a very large part of the reason I have had problems with an ED. He's changed. I haven't. I feel like I'm destroying our relationship.


My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years. We met in college when he was 18 and I was 20. As you can imagine, we've grown a lot and been through a lot together as so much happens developmentally during those years. We live together now and we're planning our future together. The biggest thing sabotaging our relationship is all the issues that revolve around my weight.

When we first dated I was fat. I was about 130lbs which is right on the cusp over becoming clinically overweight at my height. It sounds stupid but I had no idea I was fat. I mean, no one had told me before and I hadn't ever grown up with any proper knowledge of nutrition (e.g. in high school health class teacher told us that pizza was a healthy breakfast food...) I'm forever grateful that my BF taught me how to work out and what healthy foods were and what bad foods were. The problem with all this being is he tended to be really, really cruel about my weight. The mean comments like telling me his brother thought I was fat and wasn't good enough for him, grabbing at my fat, being embarrassed of me, and cheating on me once. He wanted a perfect girlfriend and I wasn't delivering. As you can imagine, this gave me a serious complex and I acted out in my own ways. Everyday I looked in the mirror and thought about how nothing was good enough. I got down to 110lbs and all I could see was the fat still on me. Struggling with bad depression and anxiety wasn't exactly helping my case either. I kept binging on food, which eventually led to purging. A lot. I just didn't know what else to do. A bunch of medication later and some attempts to get my life in some order, I stopped a lot of the B/P tendencies about a year ago. I was overall doing better emotionally. But my weight still floated between 120lbs. We'd still get into fights every once in a while about how I looked which eventually lead to me cheating on him. I regret it... I was blacked out drunk and wanted to feel like someone found me physically attractive. We both know about each others infidelity and we've come to terms with it.

It comes to a head this October... We got in a massive fight again over my weight. He thinks I'm fat and it still bothers him. He says "it only bothers him when we're fighting" which I think is such bullshit. This sets off a week where I shut down. I literally wasn't able to do anything else except cry and sleep. I decided to hop back on this fucked up train again. At least I'm not vomiting all the time, but the deeper entrenched I get into the ED mindset, the more I feel like I'm destroying our relationship. I can't have sex with him because the thought of having him see me naked horrifies me. But since we're not having sex I"m just so afraid he's going to cheat on me or leave me. Of course he says he wont, but for fuck sake. He's not getting it from me,what is he supposed to do? I still find him attractive and I still want to have sex but the moment we even get close to that point, how much I hate my body is such a turn off for me that we have to stop.

I don't even know what to do. I really hope that when I get down to my current GW, I'll be happier but I don't know. I feel like I won't be happy until he's worried that I've gotten too thin. I think it's because at that point I'll have real evidence that he doesn't secretly think I'm fat anymore and we can both stop encouraging my ED habits :/ God, how fucked up does all that sound?


anyway... thanks for letting me vent about this guys. If anyone's in a similar boat, I'd love to hear from you too

[Help] My dad wants to make dinner.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 3 15:35:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vc7t7/my_dad_wants_to_make_dinner/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Getting back into a fasting groove?
/u/ED_Ent
Created: Thu Dec 3 13:35:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vbpgm/getting_back_into_a_fasting_groove/
---
I was doing really well restrictions in a healthy Ishmael way and fasting two days a week. But then I was with family and on road trips for a month and had to eat more processed food with them I was still restricting but what I ate was very unhealthy and I could not fast at all except for sleeping time I still lost a bit of weight but only a pound and now I can't seem to stay focused on my fasting days or workout days and everything looks unhealthy. Has anyone had this kind of problem? Any tips to train myself back into my 2 days of fasting? It was really helping me and now I'm back to bingeing... I'm so close to my gw.

[Rant] Why can't my hunger drive be as low as my sex drive?!
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 116.6 | 19.63 | -39.4 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 3 13:35:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vbpf0/why_cant_my_hunger_drive_be_as_low_as_my_sex_drive/
---
They're both physical, human needs, and yet it feels like they've been swapped for me. I never want to have sex. I don't feel desire. I don't want to be touched, I don't want to be seen as sexual, and I certainly don't deserve "pleasure." I hate myself so much, the thought makes me nauseous.

At the same time, I'm "fantasizing" about food. Recipes, food blogs, thinspo, that's my "porn." It's all I think about: what I'm going to eat, how much of it I'll eat, what I would binge on if I had the chance, what I would love to eat but just won't let myself, the list goes on and on.

I wish the intensity of my desire for food could be channeled into my desire for sex instead. Or at the very least, I want balance! I hate being this way, especially since sex is an important part of a healthy relationship! I feel like I'm always letting my SO down. How disgusting is it that I would rather eat than be with my SO?! Sorry if this is an uncomfortable topic... I'm just so frustrated with myself. I know how I *should* feel, but I just feel numb instead. Does anyone else struggle with this?

[Thinspo] "Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live." - Socrates
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Thu Dec 3 13:27:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vbo53/worthless_people_live_only_to_eat_and_drink/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vbo53/worthless_people_live_only_to_eat_and_drink/

[Discussion] obligatory first post
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Dec 3 10:35:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vaxnl/obligatory_first_post/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Hipsterspiration
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 10:02:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vasmh/hipsterspiration/
---
http://i.imgur.com/9Gggbyn.jpg

[Thinspo] Legs for centuries
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 09:59:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vas9z/legs_for_centuries/
---
http://i.imgur.com/sITUt2P.jpg

[Thinspo] A reminder
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 09:58:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vas4k/a_reminder/
---
http://i.imgur.com/7yIR6xB.jpg

[Thinspo] White shirt
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 09:57:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vary8/white_shirt/
---
http://i.imgur.com/R4vIXiI.jpg

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 03, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 3 09:02:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vajra/daily_food_diary_december_03_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 03, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Terri Schiavo and bulimia nervosa
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 08:51:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vai8v/terri_schiavo_and_bulimia_nervosa/
---
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/2005-02-25-schiavo-eating-disorder_x.htm

[Thinspo] Money, power, glory
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 08:36:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vag71/money_power_glory/
---
http://i.imgur.com/fikX3Gd.png

[Discussion] The history of anorexia nervosa: Mollie Fancher
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 08:22:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3vaecp/the_history_of_anorexia_nervosa_mollie_fancher/
---
http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=71987092

[Thinspo] Daphne Groeneveld's weight gain, 2010-2012
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 07:16:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3va5z4/daphne_groenevelds_weight_gain_20102012/
---
http://i.imgur.com/osCRnkx.png

[Discussion] Something interesting which I see on old websites
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 06:50:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3va2tw/something_interesting_which_i_see_on_old_websites/
---
http://i.imgur.com/V0oproW.jpg

[Discussion] On the ethics of force-feeding in anorexia nervosa [PDF]
/u/237723 [5'1.8" | 109.8lbs | 29-24-31 | 20.79 | -2.3]
Created: Thu Dec 3 06:17:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v9z6e/on_the_ethics_of_forcefeeding_in_anorexia_nervosa/
---
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1452985/pdf/cmaj00231-0039.pdf

[Discussion] Perception of yourself?
/u/kafka__dreams
Created: Thu Dec 3 06:13:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v9ypp/perception_of_yourself/
---
I guess I dont see myself the way I actually look cause Im constantly getting "Youre so small!" And Im 5lbs away from being underweight but I think I look massive. Occasionally ill catch my reflection in a store window or something and think I look little, but it seems to warp before my eyes. What are your experiances with this?

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support December 03, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Dec 3 05:02:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v9s8g/weekly_emotional_support_december_03_2015/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to /u/InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Discussion] Firsts [Feedback/participation/sharing]
/u/SoFetchBetch [Height 67.8" | CW 111lbs | GW 109lbs | BMI 16.85 | WL 17lbs | f]
Created: Thu Dec 3 01:19:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v9b72/firsts_feedbackparticipationsharing/
---
I love the community feeling here and I was hoping we could share some firsts with each other. I can make an edit later and pesent the info in the format that's been taking off lately (noticed a lot of survey type posts lately) include the age you were or the time it happened. Any extra details you like really. Curious to hear others' stories.

So what was your first (if applicable):

-binge food

-purge food

-body dysmorphic moment (when did you first realize you wanted to change yourself)

-what was the first body part you noticed you wanted to change

-what was the first clothing item you wanted to try

-when did you succeed in losing weight

-what was your first goal weight
-when did you hit your first goal weight

-when did you realize it might be an eating disorder

-what was your first never eat it ever food

-who was your first thinsperation

-what was your first people find me too skinny moment

-what was your first mantra (Mine was nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Still is!)

I'll post mine in the comments to start it off. Hopefully people will participate, I understand of course if it's too personal!

[Rant] Fuck my life
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|133.5lb|25.6|-25.5lb|F]
Created: Wed Dec 2 23:05:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v8z59/fuck_my_life/
---
I can control myself with anything but booze it seems. 10? shots and going strong. Why can't I just enjoy my self destructive drinking without the knowledge that it will contribute useless calories to sustaining my wasted life.

[Discussion] It's been too long.. (An intro)
/u/shovelandbone [5'2 | 240 | 43.9 | 0 | f]
Created: Wed Dec 2 22:35:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v8vvk/its_been_too_long_an_intro/
---
I don't know how this happened.

In high school, I had a problem with weight, but one day I got tired of being the fat friend and put the fork down. Just stopped eating. I dropped 30 pounds in what seemed like a week. Went from 170 to 150 practically overnight, then 140 and then 130. I was weak, faint, and looked a little gray, but damn I looked good. Then something happened and it all fell apart somehow. Eventually I graduated, got married, started a career, all while gaining everything back and even more. 240. Two hundred and forty. I am 22 years old, 5'3" and weigh two hundred and forty fucking pounds. Why didn't my husband tell me I looked like I belong at sea world in a tank? That I should have "wide load" tattooed on my ass? Why didn't I see it sooner...

I'm done. I will not be this way any longer. I will fast and starve and purge if I have to. I won't do this anymore. I'm back.

[Discussion] Competition with Siblings
/u/clurrance [5'6" | 115.2 | 18.7 | -9.8 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 2 21:49:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v8qa6/competition_with_siblings/
---
My sister (5'9", 131 lbs) recently dieted her way down from 150 lbs. She knows about my current relapse, and I've been talking to her about calories and weight loss. On one hand, it's nice because I can talk about stuff with her and she won't tell me I shouldn't be restricting. On the other hand, she brags about her weight loss, compares our bodies, and shows no concern about my behaviors. It makes me feel kinda bad, like she doesn't even care that I'm falling back into this trap.
There's definitely a competition factor to it all, which I should probably just use to motivate me. If she ever weighed less than me I would freak.

Does anyone else compete with their siblings regarding ED behaviors and weight loss?


[Rant] good/bad news about thanksgiving and the general struggle
/u/hydropons [5'1" | 87.2 lbs | 17.17 | -8 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 2 20:40:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v8hsn/goodbad_news_about_thanksgiving_and_the_general/
---
i'm so happy

i weighed myself the day after thanksgiving and i weighed 87 pounds!!! which is still more than i weighed last year but it's a lot better than i thought it would be for sure. i never thought i'd be thankful to have the flu, but it sure is a good excuse to only drink water for days. :)

also: i feel so weak-willed these days. i can't believe i still eat two meals a day. i gave in today and ate a croissant for lunch. i guess a new strategy is going to have to be to carry no money anywhere so i am not tempted to buy food around campus. i already cancelled my meal plan so i can't go into the dining halls.

[Goal] No scales til Xmas.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 2 20:29:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v8gh1/no_scales_til_xmas/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How to deal with an intrusive friend?
/u/chocolatecoveredpugs [5'4| 125 | BMI | -15lbs | F]
Created: Wed Dec 2 17:28:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v7sp1/how_to_deal_with_an_intrusive_friend/
---
Hi, I'm so happy to have found this subreddit - I don't really have anyone to talk to or get advice on about my eating. One of my friends is constantly concerned about my eating habits, but I have a higher BMI in the normal range. I try to hide it the best I can, don't talk about weight/eating around her, tell her I've already eaten, etc. but she has gotten to the point that if we eat together she will follow me to the bathroom to "check up on me". Today she took my phone and tried to open MFP to see what I've been eating. I understand she is concerned about me, but how do I get her off my back or ask her to stop?

[Discussion] What are your favorite safe foods?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 2 16:50:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v7nlm/what_are_your_favorite_safe_foods/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] I don't take vitamins/supplements, is this uncommon?
/u/mdthrowawayma [5'9 | 95lbs | 14.29 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 2 15:53:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v7fur/i_dont_take_vitaminssupplements_is_this_uncommon/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v7fur/i_dont_take_vitaminssupplements_is_this_uncommon/

[Discussion] Scale is broadly accurate?
/u/decourtstruction [5'1.5" | 110.2| 21.3 | -10 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 2 13:39:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v6vc1/scale_is_broadly_accurate/
---
Hi guys! I was just wondering if anyone else's scale only moves in ~1lb increments. For example, my scale will only hit the numbers 113.8, 112.6, 111.2, 110.2 (so far that I've seen recently). I will see it waffle between 110.2 and 111.2, and then it'll pick the one I can only assume I round towards.

It's kind of nice because I can have a bad day and still appear to be the same weight in the morning. Or if I lose weight, it seems like it's a whole pound! (Even though I "maintained" at the higher plateau for 3 days)

I dunno why I'm posting this really. Is your scale stupid too?

[Help] Effects of sodium while restricting/fasting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 2 13:05:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v6prj/effects_of_sodium_while_restrictingfasting/
---
*I will flair later - silly mobile.

I was curious if any of you had some information or knowledge regarding how much sodium you should consume or avoid while restricting and while fasting.

I am doing a two week liquid fast (mostly water and black coffee, sometimes a bloody mary or vodka + coke zero) and interrupting it occasionally as my husband raises concerns about my intake. Fortunately he will be out of town for a spell. I fear the sodium intake will cause bloating and water retention. I love my alcohol but can easily cut it out if need be. Any help and information would be greatly appreciated!

The Great Binge Free Leaderboard
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 135.3 lbs | 21.92 | F]
Created: Wed Dec 2 10:21:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v5ytk/the_great_binge_free_leaderboard/
---
Here's The Great Binge Free Leaderboard, in order of most days binge free to least days binge free. If you want to join, please do! The link is on the sidebar. Just add your name to the list.

If you had to start over after binging this week, try to outdo yourself by beating your "high score" in the Best column!

Please message me with any corrections or updates :)

**40 days** | /u/HeartshapesANDninjas

**23 days** | /u/airflowers

**19 days** | /u/skinnywishlist

**17 days** | /u/InItTLoseIt

**13 days** | /u/little_doll

**9 days** | /u/WorstCunt

**7 days** | /u/esiwirartnoC, /u/sarahPenguin

**6 days** | /u/ana-wrecks-ya, /u/InTheGecko, /u/MrFattyPants, /u/sunshinechild

**5 days** | /u/goldberrydarling, /u/Klairvoyant, /u/smallprincess, /u/spaghetti_enthusiast, /u/ssattub

**4 days** | /u/adelexo, /u/Kapattak, /u/LadySkywalker, /u/sidium_, /u/subspacehipster

**3 days** | /u/Caribblue

**2 days** | /u/acronym_acronym, /u/BathtubApplesauce, /u/ButterflyJellyfish, /u/Indigobeet, /u/ramona22, /u/SanguineSmiles, /u/SgtSarah, /u/snail_love, /u/somanyjellyrolls

**1 day** | /u/blueberrydeathninja, /u/floweredfox, /u/fragileboness, /u/infinitti, /u/melanin_42, /u/notoriouscarrot, /u/Psych0candy, /u/SeaStars, /u/skinnyb0y, /u/vemvemvem, /u/xwea

Congrats to everyone who beat their personal record for most-days-binge-free, and to /u/HeartshapesANDninjas who continues to set an awesome example for all of us!!

[Discussion] (Discussion) I made it 40 days with no binges. Here's what I learned:
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Wed Dec 2 09:49:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v5tjs/discussion_i_made_it_40_days_with_no_binges_heres/
---
40 days under 900 calories. No binges.

I am weak

I get dizzy constantly

I feel sick more than I feel well

I fall a lot

Concentration is a daily battle

I've lost 2 dress sizes

I feel like I'm in control

I'm hungry all the time

Exercise is getting harder my muscles are weak

I have recurring dreams where I can't walk bc my legs are so thin

People are asking me if I am sick more than they ask of I've lost weight

The scale hasn't changed as much as I thought it would, but inches and measurements have.

I'm not proud or happy or confident

I still look fat

Haven't had a period since early October

Vitamins make me nauseous

And even with all this I don't care... I'm no where near my goal and plan to keep going and possibly start fasting every other day. At this point I'm doubting if there's any point since I'm still so fat. It feels hopeless. It feels sad. It feels pointless. It feels painful. But I have no intention of stopping.

Edit: thank you so much for the encouragement guys. I feel like I'm not alone. You all inspire me to keep going :)

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 02, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Dec 2 09:02:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v5lzn/daily_food_diary_december_02_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 02, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] sil monitering my food intake commenting on weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Dec 2 06:03:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v4yve/sil_monitering_my_food_intake_commenting_on_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Cystic acne [advice]
/u/SoFetchBetch [Height 67.8" | CW 111lbs | GW 109lbs | BMI 16.85 | WL 17lbs | f]
Created: Wed Dec 2 03:11:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v4jc4/cystic_acne_advice/
---
I've noticed that since I've become more strict about restricting and less permissive about binging without purging I've developed cystic acne a LOT more than I ever have in the past. Used to be like one a year and now I'm getting them every month and in the same areas. Anyone else experience this?

[Help] How does everyone else count their pill/vitamin supplement calories?
/u/thetempestinme [5'8" | 135 | 19.72 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 23:26:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v3ypl/how_does_everyone_else_count_their_pillvitamin/
---
Hey guys, was browsing the food diary thread and noticed a lot of you take vitamins and things. Just wondering how everyone else counts their calories from these cause now I'm stressing about it!

I'm currently taking 1x multivitamin, 1x B12, 1x estrogen pill (Levlen) and 1x plaquenil (lupus medication) daily. I have no idea whether to count them into my limit for the day.

[Goal] December Goals
/u/caribblue [5'6 | 144.4 | 22-3ish | -14 | Frat princess]
Created: Tue Dec 1 23:20:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v3y3s/december_goals/
---
I hope everyone had a great first day of December! Let's use this thread as a place to list, and keep track of our progress toward our goals for this month. I'll start:

* Weigh under 130 by the end of the month.

* No (actual) binges. I'm still gonna eat a normal Christmas dinner and if I want pizza I'll buy a slice instead of an entire extra large, but y'all know what I mean.

* Some form of exercise each and every day, with at least 2 good weightlifting+cardio workouts a week.

* Daily calorie average of 1000 calories (counting by 7000/week for flexibility).

* Nightly average of 8 hours of sleep (average by week again).

* Cut caffeine consumption in half on non-study days.

* 85 ounces of water daily.

Let's do this y'all! What are your goals?

[Help] Just had my first binge in a while...
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Tue Dec 1 21:40:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v3m4e/just_had_my_first_binge_in_a_while/
---
I've been restricting to around 800 and down 20lbs in the last two months but I've been in a plateau for over a week.
On top top off that I just binged myself up to a daily total of 2600 and I'm so angry at myself...but I can be thankful for two things: I didn't purge and I stopped myself from going out and buying more food to binge on.

Tomorrow I'm planning to do under 300 calories in liquid form.
Does this sound good?


[Help] Modelling
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 1 21:19:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v3jkc/modelling/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] It's not even fair. How is she real? [NSFW] [Super naked lady]
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 20:37:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v3e51/its_not_even_fair_how_is_she_real_nsfw_super/
---
https://i.imgur.com/StCQrBY.jpg

[Help] Energy without caffeine?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'4'' | 110 | 19.2 | -19 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 20:04:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v39ud/energy_without_caffeine/
---
Forgive me, coffee and tea lovers of r/proed, but caffeine hates me, and I hate it. I love the smell of coffee, but I can't stand the taste. Tea makes my teeth feel weird. Chocolate has too many calories. I'm out of ideas.

I've found apple slices give a nice energy boost, but it's incredibly short. Like half an hour, tops. Does anyone have any suggestions for energy boosting food or drinks?

[Tip] I don't know if this has been posted here before, but I just discovered it and I love it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Dec 1 18:15:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v2ulg/i_dont_know_if_this_has_been_posted_here_before/
---
http://www.fitday.com/webfit/burned/calories_burned.html

[Discussion] Self-Injurious Behavior in Women With Eating Disorders (paper) (interestingly, people with OSFED/EDNOS had the highest self-harm rates)
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Tue Dec 1 17:31:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v2onl/selfinjurious_behavior_in_women_with_eating/
---
http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Detlev_Nutzinger3/publication/11492329_Self-Injurious_Behavior_in_Women_With_Eating_Disorders/links/00b49529b8103b7723000000.pdf

[Help] 5 Hour Energy / Other Energy Drinks?
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 16:32:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v2g48/5_hour_energy_other_energy_drinks/
---
I just tried a 5 Hour Energy for the first time and feel like I'm on crack, in a bad way. I haven't had an energy drink in over a year, but I was thinking these might be a better alternative to buying a coffee every day. I don't know if I'm having a negative reaction because all I've eaten today is a protein bar? Does anyone else have this issue, or is it something you get used to? What alternatives do you use for coffee?

I'm looking to replace coffee because I find it doesn't give me the caffeine boost I'm looking for anymore.

[Tip] Finals week. Tip (?)
/u/PippiLee97 [5'7"| 150lbs | 23.5 | -17lbs | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 15:34:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v27n9/finals_week_tip/
---
It's finals week so almost every student on campus is taking adderall, vyvanse, concerta etc etc to help with last minute studying and projects. These pills completely destroy your appetite and make you guzzle water like mad (and will help you prepare for the exam in that class you've skipped all semester). Safe to say that this will be a great fasting week for me :)

Hope things are going good for you all. Stay strong.

[Help] Any calorie tracking/ weight loss apps that don't get upset when you restrict?
/u/ThisTimeImReady [5'9" | 170 | 24.65 | -28 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 15:34:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v27kf/any_calorie_tracking_weight_loss_apps_that_dont/
---
I've used My Fitness Pal for a while, and I really like how extensive the data base is. The irritating thing is that when you don't hit 1000 calories, it refuses to track that day for you. Usually I put in a random food item to hit the requirement, but it would be nice to accurately track calories without having to fib.
Any recommendations?

[Rant] Trapped in a b/p cycle
/u/jellicoe_road [5'10" | 152.2 | 21.80 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 14:59:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v2202/trapped_in_a_bp_cycle/
---
I just want to say first that I love this sub, and you all motivate me so much! I always want to do better when I look at the posts, but right now I'm having a really hard time :( I can't get out of this b/p cycle, and every time I purge there's blood, which is terrifying, but in some sick way I kind of like it too (I don't know whats wrong with me). I'm just really depressed because the binging finally caught up with me and I gained 10 pounds (I want to die) and my school councilor wants to tell my parents that I'm suicidal. I though they weren't allowed to do that? Sorry for the rant, but help? Advice? Save me from myself? I just want to not be fat and ugly anymore.
Sorry. End of pity party.

Survey Results!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 12:52:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v1gpd/survey_results/
---
Alright everyone! Here are the results of the survey I took of our subreddit! Sorry it took forever to post them, it was a lot to go through and I've been super busy with Thanksgiving stuff. Anyway, here ya go!

Ā 

**1. How old are you?**
Ages ranged from 15 to 33. The average ages of respondents was 22.4 and the most common reported age was 24.

**2. What's your gender expression?**
92% responded female. The rest of the responses included male (4), FtM, gender fluid, demigirl, genderqueer male, and female non-binary.

**3. What is your current work situation?**

53% students

35% work full time

19% work part time

9.5% unemployed

3.5% self employed

4.7% other

You probably realize this adds up to more than 100% because some people chose more than one option here. There wasn't a way for me to filter for what percent are for instance working part time and a student. I'll do better with those options if we do another survey. "Other" responses included artists, homemakers, looking for work, and on disability.

**4. How much do you currently weigh?**
Responses here varied from 83 to 295 lbs (37.7 to 134.1 kg). The average reported weight was 129.7 lbs (58.94 kg) and the most reported weight was 130 lbs (59.1 kg).

**5. What is your current BMI?**
Responses ranges from 14.0 to 46.0. The average reported BMI was 21.8 and the most reported BMI was 22.0.

**6. Do you consider yourself to have an eating disorder?**
77.7% responded yes, and 22.3% said no.

**7. What type of eating disorder do you lost identify as having?**

OSFED (formerly EDNOS) - 40%

Anorexia - 27.4%

Bulimia - 8.9%

Binge Eating Disorder - 5.9%

Orthorexia - 4.4%

Compulsive Exercising - 3.7%

Drunkorexia - 1.5%

Other - 8.2%

"Other" responses mainly included atypical bulimia and those who had disordered habits but did not consider themselves to have a formal disorder.

**8. What characteristics does your eating disorder have?**

Restriction - 96.3%

Binging - 63%

Purging - 31.9%

Excessive Exercise - 29.6%

Self Harm - 29.6%

Laxative Abuse - 22.2%

Eating Non-food Items - 1.5%

"Other" responses included depression, drug use, and fasting.

**10. How often would you estimate you binge?**
Of those who binge, 33.6% said they did so once a week. 25% responded twice per week, 14.8% three times per week, 3.9% four times per week, and 3.9% five times a week. Only .8% said they binge six or seven times a week, and 3.9% responded they binge less than once a week (once or twice a month). 14% responded that they do not ever binge.

**11. At what age did you first develop ED behaviors?**
The responses ranged from 4 to 30 years old. Average age was 14.7 and the most reported age they developed was 12.

**12. Symptoms you have experienced as a result of your ED**

Constipation - 69.8%

Suicidal tendencies - 54%

Diarrhea - 50.8%

Acne - 39.7%

Amenorrhea - 33.3%

Electrolyte imbalance - 32.5%

Water retention/Edema - 27%

Slow resting heart rate - 25.4%

Xerosis (dry skin) - 23%

Cavities - 21.4%

Fast resting heart rate - 20.6%

Telogen effluvium (hair loss) - 16.7%

Hypokalemia (low potassium) - 11.9%

Hypotension - 11.9%

Lanugo - 10.3%

"Other" responses included depression, low body temperature, hypoglycemia, bad nails, dizziness, chest pain, muscle spasms, and cardiomyopathy.

**13. Are you currently taking any medications related to your ED?**
69.9% responded no, and 30.1% said yes.

**14. What medication are you taking related to your ED?**
The most common response here was an EC or ECA stack. The second most common reply was Adderall . Caffeine was third. Other responses included Phentermine, Modafinil, Promethazine, Sertraline, Concerta, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Vyavanse, Ritalin, and drugs for SSRI's.

**15. What is your goal weight?**
Responses ranged from 80 to 140lbs (36.4 to 63.6 kg). The average reported goal weight was 104.3 lbs (47.4kg) and the most common answer was 105 (47.7kg).

**16. What is your goal BMI?**
Responses here varied a lot and quite a few people gave a BMI range rather than an exact number. So I sorted by those who are striving for an underweight BMI and those whose BMI goal is normal. 77.1% want a BMI less than 18.5 (therefore underweight) and 22.9% had a BMI goal in the normal range.

**17. Have you ever reached your ultimate goal weight?**
72.7% said they have not and 27.3% said they have.

**18. Do you think it's possible to maintain your ED (BMI <18) without significant health effects?**
56.1% responded yes and 43.9% said no.

**19. Are any of your family/friends or SO aware of your eating disorder?**
The slight majority responded no, 53.1%. And 46.9% said that someone was aware.



**20. This question was - if anyone, who knew.**
There were a ton of responses that included husbands, partners, grandparents, friends, doctors, roommates, and exes. The most common reply here was actually mother, followed by best friend, then SO.

**21. Is there anyone in your life you "learned" or shared ED behaviors with?**
70.6% responded no, and 29.4% said yes, they had.

**22. Has anyone in your life ever encouraged you to seek treatment for an eating disorder?**
56.7% said no, and 43.3% responded that yes, someone had.

**23. What is your current living situation?**

With SO - 31.5%

With parents - 26.9%

With roommates - 20%

Living alone - 13.1%

With other family - 6.9%

Other - 1.5%

**24. Have you ever sought treatment for your eating disorder?**
Most responded no; 76.4%. 23.6% said yes, they had.

**25. If you've sought treatment, from whom?**
The most common reply here was therapist, followed by Doctor, then psychiatrist (there may be overlap there). Other lesser replies included in-patient care, nutritionist, and ED specialists.

**26. Have you ever received in-patient treatment?**
84% replied they have not and 26% said yes.

**27. Have any of these programs/treatment had a positive impact on you in terms of emotional or physical health or in other ways?**
78.1% responded no, and 21.9% said yes they have.

**28. Have you found this subreddit helpful in dealing with your eating disorder?**
91.1% said yes (Yay!) and 8.9% said no.

**29. Are you more of an active participant in this sub or a lurker?**
Only 27.8% said they actively participate and 72.2% said they are lurkers. Y'all lurkers should definitely comment and participate more! :)

**30. Do you have any suggestions for improving the sub?**
Most said no to this. Of the suggested improvements, most people requested more thinspo to be posted. Some asked for more participation, which I agree with! I would love to see more comments/posts; someone said they wanted to make sure they weren't annoying and contributing too much by commenting a lot - definitely not! There was a lot of positive feedback about the Binge-Free Speadsheet and a few people asked for more goal/competition stuff similar to that. There were a few requests for a regular emotional support thread for things not related to ED's, which we have since added!

One complaint we got a few times was that the sub seems to be more dieting oriented. If you see something like that (a person asking for diet advice or treating this sub like it's a crash diet aid or a poster who clearly does not have an ED, etc) please REPORT it to the mods so we can take care of it!

Ā 

All in all, I really liked doing this survey and seeing the results! Thanks to everyone who participated! If you have any questions or concerns, you can comment about it here or message the mods! :)

[Discussion] how much should i weight to see my chestbones?
/u/skinnyb0y [5Ā“8 | 117 | 17,53 | -16lbs | male]
Created: Tue Dec 1 10:18:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v0qn7/how_much_should_i_weight_to_see_my_chestbones/
---
i know it changes depending of the person but i would like to know also,
do you consider chestbones atractive?
can you see your chestbones?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! December 01, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Dec 1 09:02:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v0e82/daily_food_diary_december_01_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for December 01, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Rant] Gained two pounds, so annoyed with myself
/u/FairyGodDragon
Created: Tue Dec 1 08:55:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v0d2d/gained_two_pounds_so_annoyed_with_myself/
---
Last week I told myself it would be okay to eat like a normal person. There must be something wrong with my brain.. There is no in-between. I either binge like the fat slob I used to be, or I eat almost nothing. I couldn't stay at 1200 calories, I went way over for about four days. Now I'm up two pounds. I had no problems eating under 900 calories for two months straight. What is wrong with me!

[Discussion] How would you define as a binge versus an unplanned meal?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 08:29:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3v090s/how_would_you_define_as_a_binge_versus_an/
---
Do you plan all your meals ahead? At what point is something a binge? When you haven't planned it? When you pass a certain number of calories? The way you feel during the eating?

[Discussion] Do any of you have a regular fasting schedule?
/u/abluerxe [5' 3.5" | 128lbs | 22.3 | F]
Created: Tue Dec 1 06:47:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uzvqn/do_any_of_you_have_a_regular_fasting_schedule/
---
I really want to eat just every other day, but not sure if I have the will power. Any suggestions? Do any of you have a regular fasting schedule?

[Tip] Possible cure for binge eating
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 30 21:19:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uye0w/possible_cure_for_binge_eating/
---
I'm not sure if it'll work for you, but eating extremely hot salsa or hot sauce kills my cravings and makes me feel like I've eaten. I highly suggest it. Be careful about sodium content though.

[Discussion] (Goal) Sorry MFP. You must have me confused with someone at their GW. Skip dinner be thinner!
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Mon Nov 30 19:50:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uy0yq/goal_sorry_mfp_you_must_have_me_confused_with/
---
http://i.imgur.com/rVEhKoZh.jpg

[Thinspo] Twinning!
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Mon Nov 30 19:47:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uy0nj/twinning/
---
http://i.imgur.com/e8N4uEn.jpg

[Help] I feel so guilty for eating more
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 30 19:16:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uxw4j/i_feel_so_guilty_for_eating_more/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Does anyone else "punish" themselves for overeating?
/u/lord_pterodactyl
Created: Mon Nov 30 18:47:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uxrrj/does_anyone_else_punish_themselves_for_overeating/
---
This is a bit weird...

If I overeat then I make myself sit in a freezing cold bath for 15 minutes. Since it's winter in Canada, I open up the window so it's even colder. It really sucks and I absolutely hate it, but it usually works. It makes me really watch what I eat and how much I eat because I don't want to go back into that tub.

[Help] **warning: gross** how do you know its all out?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 30 17:58:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uxkiq/warning_gross_how_do_you_know_its_all_out/
---
i immediately purged after eating two slices of pizza n downing a big glass of water. I kept going until I saw my lunch. I'm not sure how big two slices of pizza should look like in vom form so I was worried it wasnt all out even though I still puked a pretty decent amount. i mean i guess its not supposed to be too big for just two slices?? idk


[Thinspo] maintained my tummy even through thanksgiving! :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 30 16:36:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ux8ca/maintained_my_tummy_even_through_thanksgiving/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Ro8E2

[Help] Fastest way to GW
/u/Voguesm
Created: Mon Nov 30 16:25:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ux6q0/fastest_way_to_gw/
---
Okay so all I had eaten for lunch today was carrots and celery and when I went home and weighed myself I was 110 same thing as the previous night. Why is this happening, I had been eating well during thanksgiving week.

Also, I gain weight when I drink water and for some reason I can't lose it. Can someone please help?

Also, if anyone has more rigorous fasts to recommend please feel free.

I've been also getting into a lot of proana blogs lately and they've been helping with motivation but I'm just not losing anything.

Thanks

[Goal] Finally reached a long time goal!
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 30 14:56:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uwsh5/finally_reached_a_long_time_goal/
---
This week I reached a goal that I have had for a really long time. I'm finally able to wrap my hands around the top of thighs and have my fingers touch.

Hopefully I will be able to wrap my hand around my upper arm soon. Only a little bit of space until my finger and thumb touches.

Also, after months of not knowing my weight, I will have access to scale on Wednesday and I'll finally know my weight. So I'm excited and nervous

[Tip] My experience of only eating one large meal a day
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 30 12:37:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uw4zc/my_experience_of_only_eating_one_large_meal_a_day/
---
Lately due to laziness and trying to simplify my chaotic life I've been restricting to one large meal a day which I which I eat 630pm every night -- no breakfast, no lunch. I drink water, tea, coffee and maybe have a small fruit.

Prior to my ed, I was a health nut so I try to make my meal as healthy as possible.

CARBS:
1/2 cup uncooked brown rice or quinoa. Cooked with water or vegetable broth (for flavor) in my rice cooker = 350 calories

PROTEIN:
Kidney beans, chickpeas, navy beans, lentils, tuna or salmon. I usually buy canned because I'm lazy and it's easy. I love fish-- half a can of salmon is 160 calories and it's a lot!!! You'd think it was more calories. = 200 calories

VEGETABLES:
Brocoli/asaparagus/mushrooms. I sometimes add a leafy green base (spinach or kale) and make the make the meal a salad. I usually eat just one cup of one vegetable. Steam it in the microwave for 3 minutes. = 50 calories...if that.

FAT:
2tsp olive oil = 80 calories

FLAVOR:
Soy sauce! Low sodium is best.
Lemon juice
Balsemic vinegar, red wine vinegar.
Spices! Cumin, thyme, cayenne pepper, turmeric...your options are endless

Extras:
Green tea
Black tea/coffee with splenda or cinnamon for flavor
Multivitamins
An apple -- if I'm craving sugar. = 100 calories

Total daily calories:
~680-800 calories

Energy: High! Happiness: High!
I lost 10 pounds since I started 3 weeks ago. Seems like a boring meal but I crave it everyday now and race home to eat it. And it's delicious! Steamed broccoli with soy sauce mmm. If I'm craving something different...I just think "I don't eat that" not I'm not allowed to eat that or whatever just "I don't eat that." Like it helps, I feel that superiority or some kind of high. And I feel like I'm being healthy... healthy for a borderline anorexic anyway.

[Goal] whatĀ“s your goal bmi? could you give some examples of celebs with that or close to that bmi, just to know
/u/skinnyb0y [5Ā“8 | 117 | 17,53 | -16lbs | male]
Created: Mon Nov 30 12:33:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uw4eq/whats_your_goal_bmi_could_you_give_some_examples/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uw4eq/whats_your_goal_bmi_could_you_give_some_examples/

[Discussion] I just want to say thank you
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 133.4 | 23.35 | 23.7 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 30 11:34:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uvul1/i_just_want_to_say_thank_you/
---
I realized a bit late, that in the panic of dealing with the "sport" of the day (aka see how much food you can force on EVERYONE because that's what it's all about, RIGHT?!) , I never really thought about the "spirit" of thanksgiving. Maybe this is odd, if so, I apologize, but I am so very thankful for those of you on this sub, lurkers (as I have been mostly) and constant posters alike.

The things I read daily here remind me that I'm not alone. Not in my goals and wants for myself. Not in my frustrations and fears. Not when I trip up and fall on my face (into a plate of food). Not in any of it. While the people I'm around daily may or may not be aware of my disorder, and if they are, they may not really understand how to deal with it or me because of it- this is a safe spot of understanding and support and I can not begin to say how much that means to me.

Reading your posts, I always find myself thinking, "YES! You GET it!" or "Oh thank goodness, someone else has been there/thought that/felt that/etc too!" There's another post made in the past few days about loneliness and coping, and for ME personally, this sub is a big part of it. Thank you all for being here, I'm more than thankful that you are!

[Help] SSRIs + ED Behaviors?
/u/Ariana_Rex [5'7" | 126.8 lbs | 19.9 BMI | f]
Created: Mon Nov 30 10:00:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uveuo/ssris_ed_behaviors/
---
Hi, all ā€“

Has anyone else been on SSRIs and had disordered eating at the same time? The past two summers when I'm not in school I've gone back on them (for a lot of reasons) and I'm able to to never think about fasting. I can lose 10 easy pounds in a month or a month and a half.

Mainly this is true when I'm on Zoloft/Setraline, and I'm taking a guess that it's about being so dulled out of my mind that I can't think of anything at all. While this is great during the summers, when I'm off it during the school year (like now) it makes it harder to skip meals and I'm painfully aware of every time I indulge. All my easy work suddenly becomes hard.

Has anyone else had to cope with this, or found any solution? I don't want to take meds when I don't have too, and besides just being disgusted with my body image the rest of me is pretty in check. I'm just painfully aware of every hunger pang and overindulge when I've planned a fast.

I hope someone can relate! Apologies for how specific this post is.

[Thinspo] How my legs look when i'm weighing 40 kilos (88 lbs)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 30 09:29:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uva3n/how_my_legs_look_when_im_weighing_40_kilos_88_lbs/
---
http://imgur.com/sS7kNTc

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 30, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 30 09:02:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uv5zu/daily_food_diary_november_30_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 30, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] What's the longest fast you've done?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 30 08:16:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uuz9d/whats_the_longest_fast_youve_done/
---
Define what type of fast as well. How did it go? Why did you pick that number of days?

[Help] It's starting to feel like my boyfriend wants me to binge.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 30 08:04:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uuxlb/its_starting_to_feel_like_my_boyfriend_wants_me/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! November 30, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 30 05:02:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uuckn/weekly_stats_update_november_30_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 30, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Hiding dizziness
/u/Emeraldcornea [5"7 | 94kg -> 70kg | *** | 24kg | ]
Created: Mon Nov 30 02:22:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3utyt9/hiding_dizziness/
---
I usually hold on to something or immediately stops what I'm doing when I feel it but then people around me knows I'm dizzy all the time.

[Discussion] Parasites to become lovely?
/u/Emeraldcornea [5"7 | 94kg -> 70kg | *** | 24kg | ]
Created: Mon Nov 30 01:56:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3utwku/parasites_to_become_lovely/
---
I've only heard stories, anyone who has experienced or knows someone who had the experience tapeworms?

[Discussion] Thanksgiving Recovery Week Schedule
/u/everythinghappens
Created: Sun Nov 29 22:39:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3utdh0/thanksgiving_recovery_week_schedule/
---
Hey everybody, like a few of you on here I was not too happy with how things went for me last week. Between family pressure and the holiday, I ended up eating more than I would have liked. Even though the scale didn't reflect me gaining anything, I would like to fix what I fucked up this week so that I'll look good in my clothes for the upcoming holiday parties I'm going to.


To help me, I made a relatively intense schedule for myself this week to get back on track. My significant other is out of town for a week, so it's the perfect time for me to do this without drawing too much attention. I've written it down here for anyone who wants to do it with me.


Monday- Fast. Leg day at the gym for 1+ hours. Walk at least 45 minutes.

Tuesday- Fast. Arm day at the gym for 1+ hours. Walk at least 45 mintues.

(I wanted to get the two-day fast out of the way as soon as possible, because that's always the most miserable time for me emotionally and physically)

Wednesday- 500 calories. Ab day at the gym for 45 minutes+. Walk at least 45 minutes.

Thursday- Fast. No gym. Walk at least 45 minutes.

Friday- 500 calories. Leg day at the gym for 1+ hours. Walk at least 45 minutes.

Saturday- 200 calories (but fast if you don't have to meet anyone for food/drinks). Arm day at the gym for 1+ hours.

Sunday- 500 calories. Ab day for 45+ minutes.


PM me or comment here if you want to participate. If there is enough support maybe we can check in with the foods we ate throughout the day or whatever. Let the recovery week begin!


[Help] Feeling guilty about increasing my intake :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 29 20:27:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uswx2/feeling_guilty_about_increasing_my_intake/
---
[removed]

[Help] Feeling guilty about increasing my intake :/
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 29 20:00:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ussso/feeling_guilty_about_increasing_my_intake/
---
[removed]

[Help] Binge...?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 29 19:30:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3usole/binge/
---
I kind of binged today and I feel totally disgusting. I mean, I guess it wasn't as bad as it could have been... it was about 400 cal. But, I still can't deal with it. I guess what I'm wondering is how do you deal with this and bounce back? I have so much trouble recovering after binges and it takes me days to lose the weight I somehow managed to gain... Would EC Stacks be good to start? Laxatives? I feel really out of control right now, I just want to go back to 90 lbs...

[Help] Buying ephedrine (preferably online)
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|137.5lb|26.3|-21.5lb|F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 18:22:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3usel4/buying_ephedrine_preferably_online/
---
For the record I'm in Canada so I don't think I'm asking how to do anything illegal

I'd like to buy ephedrine online but all the supplement sites have crazy shipping fees until you hit an order total of $49 or $99. Well I'm not spending that much money on pills lol. At least not until I see what they do for me. Does anyone know a site with more reasonable shipping options?

Or failing that do they sell it at Shoppers? lol.

Unsubscribe and stop, this is a circle of madness.
/u/crim11dlite [6'4 | 135 | 16.4 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 17:50:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3us9qt/unsubscribe_and_stop_this_is_a_circle_of_madness/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Question about SF Syrups at Starbucks
/u/digitalbodyofwater [5'5" | 120 | 20 | -10 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 17:46:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3us99s/question_about_sf_syrups_at_starbucks/
---
99.9% of the time I order plain coffee with just a dash of half & half (no sugar) to keep the calories at a minimum. However, I was craving something sweet and I heard from you guys that sugar free mocha syrup is actually a thing at Starbucks.

So, I awkwardly ask the barista "uh, do you have sugar free mocha syrup?" and he said they do. So I order "Ok, I'll have an iced coffee with sugar free mocha syrup." When they bring the drink, they say "One iced coffee with skinny mocha for digitalbodyofwater!" I was like...hmm...alright. Is skinny mocha and SF mocha the same thing? Maybe I didn't order it right? Anyway, it tasted pretty good, and it didn't have any added cream or anything, so I'm assuming it can't be too many calories if they actually aren't the same thing.

So, anyway, my question is:

1) Is "skinny mocha" syrup and sugar free mocha syrup the same thing? Or did I order it wrong?

2) If I did order it wrong, how do I properly ask for something with SF mocha syrup added? (I would want to order black iced coffee or plain hot coffee with it added)

I suck at ordering from Starbucks.

[Discussion] How do you deal with the loneliness?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 29 17:37:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3us7xs/how_do_you_deal_with_the_loneliness/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Hi, I'm new here! Anyone want to chat on kik?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 17:17:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3us51t/hi_im_new_here_anyone_want_to_chat_on_kik/
---
[removed]

[Rant] Thanksgiving Goal Achieved [rant]
/u/InItTLoseIt [5' 7" | 198.6 | 31.00 | -22 lbs | Femme nb]
Created: Sun Nov 29 15:47:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3urrfm/thanksgiving_goal_achieved_rant/
---
After coming back to my apartment from a weekend visiting family the first thing I did was weigh myself. It had been on the forefront of my mind basically since I left.

And I maintained my weight.

I knew that I couldn't lose weight spending the holiday with family, especially with all of the starch-heavy foods and how much my family loves to drink.

But the fact that I didn't gain?? I almost cried when I saw the number on the scale.

And don't get me wrong, I still feel huge, and I still am, but the fact that everything I've done wasn't all wasted in one weekend has been so motivational for me.

[Help] Help controlling binges
/u/jojobeans27 [5'5| 135 | 22.5| -5 |F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 15:41:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3urqly/help_controlling_binges/
---
Hello all!
Do you have any advice on how to control binges, or hunger?
Any advice will help.

[Rant] for accountability - I'm awful, I've been doing awfully, but tomorrow is Monday and I'm going to fix it and this is how. Also - how accurate are old scales?
/u/-lightered [5'1" | 94lbs | 17.8 | -23lb | F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 14:30:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3urfu3/for_accountability_im_awful_ive_been_doing/
---
Right -

Last two weeks - three? year? have been a fucking shocker. Today I woke up and ate a tub of yogurt, an apple, half a pack of museli. Vom. Then a salad which I kept down. Then, home again, lets go: four cereal bars, six crumpets (with peanut butter and sugar??? Like... Yummy, not...) vom! Then a whole packet of biscuits and some oatcakes and cheese. Vom

I cannot keep doing this, I just can't. I don't want to die with my head in a toilet bowl. I feel dizzy every time I stand up and my hair is falling out. My face is swollen fat like a balloon. I keep 'rinsing' out the vomit which just means I'm a spacecadet the whole time. Not to mention I stink of vomit.

Tomorrow is a Monday and then it is the 1st December. I'm so pissed at myself - I basically haven't lost any weight in these last two months due to my binging. I started term at 103lbs (fasted, however) and now I'm at 101lbs not fasted. I can see more bones and people have made comments but honestly? In two months I could have lost 16lbs. AKA I could have been at my goal, or almost at my goal. The time wasted both in terms of my weight loss and just actual time of binging and purging makes me feel disgusted.

That's it - this month I am in control. I'm not going to weigh myself until I come back from home. And I am going to be fucking good in that time. I am sick of myself.

Also, does anyone know if scales get worse with time? My scales are from the 70's. I remember vaguely before (I live with my grandma) when I visited here I'd typically get a much larger number on these scales than I did the ones at home. So it's possible that I do weigh less than I do now and have for a while. Do they get less accurate with time? These ones are analogue. I'm freaking out a bit because ofc I don't care if the number they show is bigger, that would be a nice surprise, but if it is smaller than new and accurate scales I'm going to fucking cry and maybe hurt myself and IDK what, because I could not bear being bigger than I am.

Basically the plan from now on is to avoid food at all costs. I'm going to delete my calorie counting and running apps but tally up calories at the end of every day on here. Instead of feeling like I have to eat 600 calories which I always do and then i'm like oh I've gone over and fucked today so might as well keep going, my new goal is to just eat as absolute little/close to nothing as possible. There's no need for me to not be on a constant fast as I live at my grandmas but we never eat together and no one would notice (at least, until I go home for xmas)

Sorry for the rant, it's been a tough few days. On track tomorrow. Who's with me?

Edit: tried out the scales thing, they are not totally fucked but might be a bit off - showed a bag of flour that weighed 1kg100g at 1kg250g or so. At least that means that if anything my weight is lower than those scales show... Phew.

how many calories should i eat to drop 10 pounds in a month based on my height, weight, sex and age (iĀ“m 14)?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 29 14:26:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3urfbj/how_many_calories_should_i_eat_to_drop_10_pounds/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] How do you feel about people who are attracted to you or to underweight people?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 14:25:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3urf6s/how_do_you_feel_about_people_who_are_attracted_to/
---
I'm always underweight or very close to it. I am asked out more often than other healthy-but-thin friends. And I find it funny because people bash on eating disorders but idolize and have fetishes for the body type that comes as a consequence of one.

When I have been in relationships, my partners would at times express concern over my small size, or notice my eating, but a few hours later compliment my thin waist or legs.

The inconsistency of people's simultaneous attraction and repulsion to underweight bodies is a subject I think about often. Does it cross your minds?

[Tip] Diet to lose 13 lbs on a week.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 29 13:50:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ur9lp/diet_to_lose_13_lbs_on_a_week/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] After Thanksgiving Workout Plan
/u/wishesforhipbones [5'1" | 139 | 27.43 | -10 lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 13:16:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ur498/after_thanksgiving_workout_plan/
---
Hi, all!
So my Thanksgiving weekend was a bit rough. I attended a total of 5 thanksgivings, and I'm up a couple of pounds (obviously). I looked for a workout plan that would kick my butt and get me back on track and I found one called the "Skinny Bitch Challenge." For anyone curious it looks like this:
-Day One: 45 minute cardio
-Day Two: Lift upper body until you're jello
-Day Three: 600 high knees, 600 jumping jacks
-Day Four: Lift lower body until you're jello
-Day Five: Rest
-Day Six: 60 minute cardio, 200 sit-ups
-Day Seven: Lift upper body until you're jello
-Day Eight: 600 high knees, 400 burpees
-Day Nine: Rest
-Day Ten: Lift lower body until you're jello
-Day Eleven: 45 minute cardio, push-ups to failure
-Day Twelve: Lift upper body until you're jello
-Day Thirteen: 1000 jumping jacks, 300 sit-ups
-Day Fourteen: Lift lower body until you're jello

I will be starting this today and I'm very excited to get back into the swing of things! I was wondering if anyone had any upper body or lower body lifting workouts that they wanted to share? I'm not too thrilled with "lift upper/lower body until you're jello." I like having a definitive plan. I'd love to hear people's thoughts!

[Help] Help with EC stack?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 29 12:28:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uqwzd/help_with_ec_stack/
---
[deleted]

Binged yesterday and the day before .. Please tell me it's not the end of the world
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 29 11:15:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uqm4e/binged_yesterday_and_the_day_before_please_tell/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Binging due to stress, how do I stop?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 29 11:05:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uqke1/binging_due_to_stress_how_do_i_stop/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Quit the pill update.
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 101 | 16.4| F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 10:46:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uqheg/quit_the_pill_update/
---
Hi ladies.

Well, last month I asked you advice and experiences with the pill. I decided to leave it after 6 years. So far my experiences are:
-Lost of appetite. I am rarelly hungry and I get full waaay faster.
-Less cravings! I dont crave fatty or sweet food. I prefert to chase for a fruit or a salad every time.
-No brake outs so far.
-No pain in ovulation or pre-menstrual syntoms so far.
- Best part. I lost 3kg and 3-4% fat, that is amazing, I am leaner now, my muscles and bones show a lot more.

Take in mind I train 2-4 hours daily: strength, high intensity circuit training and/or yoga.

Soon if I am happy I will post before and after my jurney!
Thank you very much and good luck =].




[Discussion] I feel so gross. Possible TMI
/u/Panda_Melody
Created: Sun Nov 29 10:13:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uqcca/i_feel_so_gross_possible_tmi/
---
I had to attend 3 thanksgivings in 3 days thurs, fri, and sat. Im fasting today but i havent had a bm since thurs. I feel bloated and nasty and i hate it sooooo much. Its too cold to go outside and walk. And theres always someone in the gym at my apt. ( its tiny and there is only one eliptical and 1 tredmil )

Im just gonna fast for however long i can and try and flush out all this grossness with some water. Im too scared to look at the scale.


Any one wanna fast with me?

[Goal] I'm a size 0 (kinda!)
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'3'' | 108.4 | 19.2 | -16 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 10:04:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uqazd/im_a_size_0_kinda/
---
Oh man, am I excited.

Holiday eating left me feeling down. My family was overeating, as usual. I knew I wasn't doing poorly in comparison but it wasn't fun to be around. Most of my jeans have been getting too baggy, I was down to one pair of once-skinny jeans that now fit pretty normally. I decided to go shopping yesterday to get some actually skinny jeans.

I picked up a size 3, because that was the size of my skinnier jeans, and a store clerk asked me if I was finding everything alright. I asked her where I could find some jeans without holes (just not my style), and she led me to the right section. She asked what size I was, I said 3, she took one look at me and said "No way. You're probably a 0, maybe a 1, tops."

I was like, *no way.*

So I went to the fitting room and tried on the size 0. The legs fit wonderfully, but I had too much trouble getting the tight ends over my ankles. So I went with the 1, a little looser in the legs and the waist but at least I could get them over my feet.

It's probably all vanity sizing because no way could a girl with a 19.2 adjusted BMI be a size 0, but it was definitely a confidence boost.

[Help] feeling so disgusted with myself
/u/spaghetti_enthusiast [5'4.5" | 133lbs | 22.43 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 29 09:48:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uq8h1/feeling_so_disgusted_with_myself/
---
I literally have no fucking self control I've basically been binging since wednesday. I'm too afraid to even step on the scale to see how much I've gained. I know I feel so much better when I'm restricting but for some reason there's an inner demon in me that always tells me I'll never be that skinny girl because I was always the chubby one growing up so why even try. Even at my lowest weight I was "normal/slim" rather than actually skinny. I'm just so sick of sabotaging myself and I really want to at least the 120s by mid-december. Sorry, there's no real point to this rant, I'm just hoping to shame myself enough to fast through today.

edit:
Thanks for all the support and kind words! This is why I love this subreddit; it makes me feel like I'm not alone <3

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 29, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 29 09:02:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uq1yp/daily_food_diary_november_29_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 29, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] 86 calorie oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, anyone?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 28 20:29:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uo3rm/86_calorie_oatmeal_chocolate_chip_cookies_anyone/
---
http://imgur.com/a/5EX4n

[Discussion] DAE love looking at food porn?
/u/ana-wrecks-ya [5'8 | 89lbs | 13.39 | -15 lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 28 20:16:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uo26v/dae_love_looking_at_food_porn/
---
I love looking at pictures of food, reading recipes and reading menus. I spend hours looking at pictures of food and reading recipes. I actually have a blog were I post a bunch of recipes.

[Help] Inpatient update #2
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 28 19:53:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3unz8k/inpatient_update_2/
---
I'm sure no one really cares about this, and I'm sorry to be annoying but no one else understands.

So I've been here about three weeks now and I've gained a TON of weight. I feel so disgusting. But there's no way to avoid eating. If I don't comply I lose my privileges, I have to stay in bed, and I have to be hooked up to a feeding tube. I don't want any of that. So here I am, getting fat as fuck.

I can't exactly leave bc my family really wants me to be here. They're convinced that I was or will die from this. I know they're only doing this out if love, but they really don't understand what I'm going through.

This shit is so hard and I want NOTHING to do with it. I can't keep gaining weight. Can I lie or fake my way out of this? Does anyone have any advice? I really don't want to be here for Christmas.

This is so scary and I'm so done.

[Thinspo] Those legs
/u/F0xQueen
Created: Sat Nov 28 19:12:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3unu70/those_legs/
---
http://imgur.com/R6z2xY5

[Discussion] Article on ghrelin, the hunger hormone. "getting regular boosts from ghrelin, it could become addictive ā€” which may explain why anorexics have such a difficult time recovering."
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 28 17:21:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ung3t/article_on_ghrelin_the_hunger_hormone_getting/
---
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/25680029/ns/health-mental_health/t/feeling-hungry-can-make-you-happy/#.VlpCJnarTIU

[Thinspo] Corpsespo/deathspo?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|137.5lb|26.3|-21.5lb|F]
Created: Sat Nov 28 15:32:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3un17u/corpsespodeathspo/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Yuka Kinoshita on youtube (mukbang)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 28 13:36:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3umkh1/yuka_kinoshita_on_youtube_mukbang/
---
does anyone else find her (or similiar videos) relaxing? watching her eat is almost as good as eating food for me.

for those who don't know she is a cute Japanese girl who makes mukbang videos https://youtu.be/bmlsFQZYmm0?t=3m8s [CC needed]

I can definitely see how her vids can trigger some but for me I feel like she is binging so I dont have to. And her really humongous binges put me off to eating food because I get slightly disgusted.

then again I dont normally have trouble not binging. but i woke up this morning and made a little chicken wrap which wasnt too filling and wanted another but i watched a vid of hers and felt like i didnt need it. idk why but that always seems to happen with me when i watch her vids.

[Tip] PSA: The 'EC stack' Bronkaid etc is made from a drug called Ephedrine please use with CAUTION
/u/TheManyArchetypes [5'6.5"|154lbs|24.49|-54|F]
Created: Sat Nov 28 12:56:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3umeju/psa_the_ec_stack_bronkaid_etc_is_made_from_a_drug/
---
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephedrine

[Rant] No EC anywhere
/u/rosepurplesoup
Created: Sat Nov 28 10:01:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ulp4i/no_ec_anywhere/
---
My normal pharmacy is part of a grocery store. Because of this (I assume), they don't have Bronkaid. They said they'd get it shipped in, but it'll probably be expensive and I'm not sure how that would work out. I'm going to check actual pharmacies today (ones I haven't already tried, anyway) and HOPEFULLY it'll be somewhere. Otherwise I'll have to deal with my anxiety and ask them to order it. Every time I've stepped on the scale I've been losing lately (fatass, just began restricting 2 or 3 weeks ago), but because of Thanksgiving etc I've lost .2 pounds over the last 3 days. Need to get back into it.

Edit: Are rants acceptable? If not I'll delete this, but if so, there really should be a rant flair.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 28, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 28 09:02:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ulhe1/daily_food_diary_november_28_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 28, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] An unusual introduction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 28 08:40:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uleq8/an_unusual_introduction/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Weird side effects from EC stack?
/u/iduj777
Created: Sat Nov 28 03:32:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ukmwf/weird_side_effects_from_ec_stack/
---
I started an EC stack on Thursday (now sunday am). On the one hand it has been amazing/ a complete miracle for keeping hunger away. In the past ~60 hours I have eaten 1/2 Apple and 4 crackers and I haven't had any hunger pains. I have been taking 8mg ephedrine and 200mg caffeine 3x daily. However, I think I've been having some weird side effects and wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

I have a constant, but very slight feeling of what I think is anxiety all day long (idk for sure because I've never had anxiety before so maybe it's something else?).It almost feels like my heart is buzzing or I keep feeling paranoid like I'm forgetting something important? Or kind of like that feeling you get right before public speaking. My legs are also feeling shaky, the same as they would after a hard workout.

Are these pretty standard side effects of an EC stack? It is working so well that I think I can ignore the side effects (short term,anyway) but I've just never felt so weird like this, it's a bit concerning for me.

[Help] No scales on holiday...I want to jump out a window...
/u/amidala12
Created: Fri Nov 27 21:32:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ujrl3/no_scales_on_holidayi_want_to_jump_out_a_window/
---
Like most people I had to eat excess for thanksgiving (both lack of self control and to keep up appearances). Of course everyone else was obese and shoving pie in my face saying I'm too skinny. I politely accepted and ate some, moved some around, threw some away....problem is nobody around here keeps scales.....so with no way of knowing how much I've eaten and how much damage I've caused I won't be able to see the damage until I get home and i want to die from the anxiety.....I can hardly sleep and I feel like somebody put a perminant mushy lump on my stomach and i dont know anything about its size or contents. I didn't realize how much I depended on the numbers.....anybody else in a similar predicament? I just need to know what I've done

[Discussion] I ate too much and I want to die
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 27 19:59:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ujgsl/i_ate_too_much_and_i_want_to_die/
---
[deleted]

[Help] what if it never happens (maybe slightly off-topic long-ass whining/rant)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 27 19:00:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uj9xl/what_if_it_never_happens_maybe_slightly_offtopic/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Shmokin' weed
/u/SnazzySquid [5'4| 100 | 17.50 | -20lbs| F]
Created: Fri Nov 27 18:55:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uj9ep/shmokin_weed/
---
Sup guys,

Any of you smoke pot? Cuz I do, and I have munchies literally all the time. Usually I have more self control than this but with all the holiday flavors it's getting harder, How do you cope? I'm thinking of trying EC stack but I hate the way stimulants make me feel so I try to avoid if possible...are there other ways to suppress munchies?

thanks guys <3

[Thinspo] Thinspo of bmi 18?
/u/thornygirl [5'6.5 | 132 | 21 | 20 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 27 17:18:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uiyix/thinspo_of_bmi_18/
---
I've never really been one for binges, but shit happening in real life in my social group and an injury preventing me from exercise has unfortunately resulted in about 10lbs weight gain, with a lot of it occurring over the past few days. I'm angry at and disappointed in myself, but I know it won't happen again - I'm recommitting myself and re determining my goals. I'd like to lower my ugw to a bmi of about 17.5-18 - I know that's a bit higher than everyone else here, sorry - but I'm having trouble finding thinspo for that specific bracket to decide if that would "fit" me. Does anyone know of any celebrities or models with that bmi, or thinspo that would approximate how that would look (especially the legs)? If it matters, I am 5'6", currently 142lbs up from 131.

[Discussion] self control
/u/fattygod
Created: Fri Nov 27 16:50:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uiv6e/self_control/
---
So I started fasting with my boyfriend on Wednesdays. He does it for religious purposes, but I do it because I want to lose weight. I've just moved out to go to college and I'm 16--I started eating more because I need to know I can take care of myself, my trade off is picking up intermittent fasting to feel less guilty. Well, my parents found out and are really upset. They asked me why and I said "For self control" and my dad said, "I don't think you have the self control to eat a decent meal for once" and it just really hit me. No matter what I do, I feel shame and guilt, and I always lack control. I either lack the control to eat well or I lack the control to not eat. I lack the control to not be consumed by my fear of gaining weight and food. No matter what, I have no control and I'm ashamed. I don't even know how to eat like a normal teenage girl, I just don't know. Do any of you all feel similar?
Also--im afraid I don't know how to add a flair to a post on mobile? can someone tell me? I only get on reddit for this community.

[Discussion] Those insults that feel good...
/u/thunderbirdandspice
Created: Fri Nov 27 13:00:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ui22s/those_insults_that_feel_good/
---
Has anyone else gotten the

"You need to eat a burger"

Or

"You're nothing but a toothpick"

lines yet? Like I know they're trying to insult me, but all it does is give me that awesome feeling that I have to be doing something right. Have any of you guys gotten any negative-but-positive-to-you comments yet? I'm around my partners family and I'm super awkward, I would love to distract myself with reading what you guys have to say!

[Help] "You look so good now that you've got a little more meat on!" DAE get this from family?
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.0 kg (95 lbs) | Binged 24/12-27/12 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 27 12:04:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uhugs/you_look_so_good_now_that_youve_got_a_little_more/
---
I don't know if it's purely an Asian thing, but I talked to my aunt recently who hasn't seen me in ages, and she said that I've gained weight and I look so much better now.

Fucking.


Hated.

It.

It was so triggering and sent me on a binge spiral. I've been so good for the past few months, and for what? She hasn't seen me in years, so if she says I've gained weight, I most probably have. And to know that she meant absolutely no harm...


No I do NOT look good with extra weight on




Yes, I'm technically "not fat" - heck, I'm technically "thin"


Yes, looking extra thin IS chic

No I do not want to be at a "healthy weight" or "lower end of healthy weight"

Well you know what, how about you take that "healthy weight" and go bake it into a brownie SO I CAN EAT IT

:( sorry if I make no sense, it's just such a sore spot that cuts so deep.

[Help] Feeling anxious over christmas
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11Ā½ | 167lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 27 11:26:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uhpbq/feeling_anxious_over_christmas/
---
Every year my SO and I spend 2 weeks at his parents house celebrating the holidays. I've been working on losing weight since June because I really don't want his family to think that he married some fat slob...

I've lost 66lbs so far, but my goal from the start was to have lost 75lbs before the holidays, which would put me at a weight of 165 and BMI of 22.6. I feel like most sane people would look at my progress and say "Good enough!". But it's NOT good enough! I have less than 4 weeks to lose 9 pounds but I don't know if I can do it, and I don't understand why I obsess so much with certain numbers. But I do know myself. If christmas arrives and I am 1-2 pounds away from this goal then it's going to ruin everything, I'll be obsessing over this failure the entire holidays and I'll be unable to enjoy anything.

I don't know what the point is of this post, but I really felt like I needed to rant a bit.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 27, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 27 09:02:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uh6gi/daily_food_diary_november_27_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 27, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! November 27, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 27 05:02:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ugivh/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_november_27/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for November 27, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] I just purged for the first time...
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Nov 26 19:46:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uf48l/i_just_purged_for_the_first_time/
---
I've made such great progress restricting the last couple of months but Thanksgiving got to me. I planned to eat very sensibly but when I got there I just stuffed my face. Once I got home I felt disgustingly full, disappointed in myself, and anxious about tomorrow's weigh in.

I never wanted to start purging. Just because I did it once didn't mean I'll do it again, right? I feel a little better but I'm sure I hardly made a dent in what I've been eating for the last 4 hours. I just feel sad right now :-(

Edit: sorry I don't know how to flair posts on mobile, but I guess this should be under "help"


I want to marry him so badly but I think I'm too young and fat.....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 26 19:19:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uf1dc/i_want_to_marry_him_so_badly_but_i_think_im_too/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] After forced family eating for Thanksgiving, I am ready to get back on track with a fast. Remember, tomorrow is a new day!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 26 18:11:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ueucg/after_forced_family_eating_for_thanksgiving_i_am/
---
[deleted]

[Help] [possible trigger] i went for it and had not a huge but decent plate of thanksgiving food
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 26 18:09:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ueu7h/possible_trigger_i_went_for_it_and_had_not_a_huge/
---
but i havent been eating very much at all these past two days and when i got that plate i ate it all up so fast cause i was excited to have the first cheat meal ive had in forever...but nope. i feel like absolute fucking shit and im going to puke it all up. i feel pretty guilty because my roommate spent all day cooking this food but yeah :/ my stomach is with my mind on this one and its telling me i made a mistake eating that whole plate. generally my stomach will already start to send the food back up on its own when im feeling like i need to purge. it wasnt that much food so hopefully this purge wont be too horrid. ugh. i shutter at the thought but i gotta do it.

[Help] The Problem of Family Photos
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 26 14:08:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ue3a1/the_problem_of_family_photos/
---
[deleted]

Thanksgiveing success
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 26 13:35:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3udz17/thanksgiveing_success/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Just torched 400 calories, plan on torching 200 more later
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 104 | 17.3 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 26 13:18:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3udwx6/just_torched_400_calories_plan_on_torching_200/
---
Good news is I've been exercising all morning to try to make up for the horrible dent in my progress this day is sure to bring. Bad news is I've already had 600 calories and it's just now noon. Ughhhh why do I have to love pumpkin so much? (My mom made fresh pumpkin cake for breakfast. She makes it every year and I s2g she puts crack in it. It's soooo good.)

How is everyone else doing today? *hugs*

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 26, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 26 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ucxvz/daily_food_diary_november_26_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 26, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Sending good vibes to those of us having to celebrate thanksgiving
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 112 | 18.8 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 26 08:18:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ucsgi/sending_good_vibes_to_those_of_us_having_to/
---
I, and I'm sure some of you guys too, have been dreading this holiday. So sending good vibes to everyone to hopefully survive the day!

[Help] Alcohol is my other vice. Help?
/u/smallnettles
Created: Thu Nov 26 05:19:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uc9if/alcohol_is_my_other_vice_help/
---
Vodka in particular. I am wondering if any of you drink a lot and have any advice for minimising the damage calorie wise with mix/chase. Currently I am restricting to 500cals or less a day.


I am drinking it usually on its own chased by a mouthful of juice, usually cranberry or mango to get rid of the taste/burn, and I don't intake any other calories the days that I drink. Is this the best way to do it?


I could not drink but... I am an alcoholic. Thanks in advance! Posting from my phone so sorry for lack of flair.

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support November 26, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 26 05:02:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uc82n/weekly_emotional_support_november_26_2015/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to /u/InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Help] Friend/colleague has picked up on my eating habits - how do I tell her to back off?
/u/probablenarwhal
Created: Thu Nov 26 04:45:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uc6me/friendcolleague_has_picked_up_on_my_eating_habits/
---
She's been a close friend for 10 years and has worked with me for 1. I appreciate that she cares, but at the same time, my eating habits are none of her business. I've had an eating disorder since I was 16 (now 23), getting better, but have periods where I'm feeling low and need to starve. I told her years ago about the eating disorder, and she was supportive, but didn't get involved too much which was good. Now I think she thinks I'm "better" because I've gained weight, but she's picked up on my eating habits and is constantly nitpicking at work/when we go out (e.g "why aren't you having dessert?", "Oh, is that all you're having?" etc). She's quite a big girl herself and probably eats too much.


How do you guys deal with situations like this? I don't want to damage the friendship, but at the same time she obviously doesn't understand ED's and is causing me a lot of stress.

[Discussion] Controlled Family Study of Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa: Evidence of Shared Liability and Transmission of Partial Syndromes (scientific paper) (Yes, you were right, it is more likely you'll become anorexic or bulimic if your female relatives are)
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Wed Nov 25 22:54:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ubbek/controlled_family_study_of_anorexia_nervosa_and/
---
http://eatingdisorders.ucsd.edu/research/pdf_papers/2000/strober2000controlled.pdf

[Goal] Under 120 for Christmas!
/u/caribblue [5'6 | 135.4 | 22ish | -14 | Frat princess]
Created: Wed Nov 25 21:51:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ub4oa/under_120_for_christmas/
---
Hi friends, after tomorrow I'll be embarking on a fast-track version of my current restriction. I want to lose 15 pounds by this date and I ~~think~~ know I can do it. I'll be starting a group chat to talk about my experiences and discuss with others about theirs this Friday, please comment or PM if you'd like to join this.

(Sorry Mods if this breaks any rules! I'm just trying to meet new friends, I'm already sick <3)

[Help] Can I make a vegetable juice with a blender?
/u/skinniminime [5'3 | 148lbs | BMI27 | 40lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 25 20:52:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uaybh/can_i_make_a_vegetable_juice_with_a_blender/
---
So my family is leaving town for December which leaves me free to eat or not eat as I choose. I have suppliments and a lot of great stuff ready, but was wondering one big thing- Can I make green smoothies with a blender, or do I need a juicer? It'd make it a ton easier to just use what I already have. Tips?

[Help] Experiences with maintaining your weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 25 18:55:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uakzr/experiences_with_maintaining_your_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Feeding others
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Wed Nov 25 18:19:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uagqh/feeding_others/
---
I'm in the middle of baking cupcakes for thanksgiving, and I was thinking about how much I love baking for other people.

And usually the worse my ED gets the more I bake (and give everything to friends/family).

There's this perverse pleasure I get from thinking "I don't need to eat these, but look at everyone else stuffing their faces."

Do you guys have any similar habits?

[Discussion] What is your favourite salad dressing?
/u/shnookumsmuffin
Created: Wed Nov 25 17:35:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uabei/what_is_your_favourite_salad_dressing/
---
Preferably homemade, but product recommendations are good too!

[Discussion] PCOS / Life Rant [Mildly NSFW for Potential TMI?]
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 25 17:30:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3uaas5/pcos_life_rant_mildly_nsfw_for_potential_tmi/
---
Apparently today is my cake day. The irony is overwhelming.

I was diagnosed with PCOS about four years ago. At the time I was massively overweight and eating like a pig. I had giant portions and ate CONSTANTLY, plus I drank a tonne of sugar-heavy alcohols like Grower's Cider (two whole 2-litre bottles in the same night several times a week.)

My periods were never regular, and used to be that I got them very infrequently. Until one day I got my period and it didn't stop for over three months, very heavy flow, very excruciatingly painful cramps, which I'd never had before. Now to keep it under control I take birth control non stop and skip all my periods because when I do get them, they don't stop for like three weeks. The constant influx of hormones doesn't help weight loss since one of the side effects is weight gain, and I have actually been prescribed to take 2 pills a day to be able to stop my period.

Shortly after that I made changes in my life. I ate way, way less. I went through a serious break up and was in the throes of hating myself. I had no idea why I was having so much trouble losing weight, until my doctor suggested it was the PCOS giving me a hard time, as that's one of its side effects. That's when I started ED behaviour, because the only way I found I could lose weight was by eating nothing and I loved it.

Two years ago I started dating my current boyfriend who is super hot and thin naturally and I went full force ED, sometimes not eating for more than three days and somehow no one knew anything was wrong. Hunger became power and control and I was so desperately afraid of being the fat girl with the hot guy that people would see walking down the street together and people would say "really? Him? With HER?"

I've lost about sixty pounds total in these years. My GW is 105, and I'm trying desperately to get there but I'm having a hard time and yo-yoing between these last stretch of pounds and I'm not sure if it's PCOS or if I'm just a failure. It's so hard to eat the way I want to now that I'm living with my boyfriend. I also just spent a weekend with my family, as I'm sure many of you have, and ate so much I'm still overly-bloated and I came home on Monday.

I have tried purging but I don't have a gag reflex and end up just scratching my throat. So today I drank a bunch of coffee and ate two oranges and then worked out really hard so I felt nauseated with everything floating around and threw up that way, but that's not exactly sustainable.

I'm just really frustrated. My tummy hurts and I'm feeling fat and worthless and I never want to eat again.

[Discussion] Idiots...
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 152 | 22.04 | -13 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 25 14:28:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u9m7g/idiots/
---
Im a dispatcher.

Today I had at least 5 of my drivers caution me not to eat too much, "You don't want to get fat. Don't go getting all fat now!"

So now I think i will skip dinner and breakfast and eat nibbles tomorrow and get drunk.

I know they are trying to be funny...what is wrong with my brain where a joke feels like a sign from the universe not to eat?

[Help] Anybody want to join me in a 4 day fast?
/u/acronym_acronym [5' 11" | 120 lbs | 16.7 | -20lbs | Male]
Created: Wed Nov 25 11:52:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u8yzf/anybody_want_to_join_me_in_a_4_day_fast/
---
I'm planning on eating <100 calories a day for the next 4 days, and might need some support. Anyone want to join me?

[Discussion] Just in time for the holidays. How lucky am I? If you celebrate I hope tomorrow treats you well, you got this. Stay safe guysšŸ’œ
/u/DisposableT33n
Created: Wed Nov 25 11:42:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u8xcr/just_in_time_for_the_holidays_how_lucky_am_i_if/
---
http://imgur.com/fgAPYdl

[Discussion] Disgusting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 25 11:14:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u8t23/disgusting/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] The Great Binge Free Leaderboard
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 25 10:30:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u8m92/the_great_binge_free_leaderboard/
---
Here's The Great Binge Free Leaderboard, in order of most days binge free to least days binge free. If you want to join, please do! The link is on the sidebar. Just add your name to the list.

If you had to start over after binging this week, try to outdo yourself by beating your "high score" in the Best column!

Please message me with any corrections or updates :)

**33 days** | /u/HeartshapesANDninjas

**19 days** | /u/smallprincess

**16 days** | /u/airflowers, /u/skinnywishlist

**9 days** | /u/InItTLoseIt, /u/WorstCunt

**7 days** | /u/esiwirartnoC

**6 days** | /u/InTheGecko, /u/MrFattyPants, /u/sunshinechild

**5 days** | /u/goldberrydarling, /u/Klairvoyant, /u/spaghetti_enthusiast

**4 days** | /u/adelexo, /u/LadySkywalker, /u/sidium_, /u/subspacehipster

**3 days** | /u/Kapattak, /u/ssattub

**2 days** | /u/BathtubApplesauce, /u/ButterflyJellyfish, /u/Caribblue, /u/Indigobeet, /u/Noroeste, /u/ramona22, /u/SanguineSmiles, /u/somanyjellyrolls, /u/SgtSarah, /u/snail_love

**1 day** | /u/blueberrydeathninja, /u/floweredfox, /u/fragileboness, /u/infinitti, /u/melanin_42, /u/notoriouscarrot, /u/Psych0candy, /u/SeaStars, /u/vemvemvem, /u/xwea

Good job everyone!!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 25, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 25 09:02:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u896l/daily_food_diary_november_25_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 25, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] [Discussion] Fitness trackers - what do you use? How do you like it?
/u/sothrowmeawayalready
Created: Wed Nov 25 07:12:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u7ucx/discussion_fitness_trackers_what_do_you_use_how/
---
I am finally getting a fitness tracker... wondering what other people with goals like mine are using, would love to hear some experiences. If anyone else is on the withings app, feel free to PM me, I would love to have friends on there.

[Discussion] Discussion: what usually causes you to lower or raise your UGW?
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Tue Nov 24 20:49:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u65a5/discussion_what_usually_causes_you_to_lower_or/
---
Today I decided that since progress is going well (32 days under 900 w/no binges!) that I can do this better. Fuck 115, I'm lowering my goal weight to 99. If I can get to 115, I can get to 100 and then it's one pound away from those sweet sweet two digits.

The trigger for me to lower it was measuring my thighs and realizing I've lost 2 inches in 2 weeks on them. (Finally!)

I don't wanna settle. I wanna be able to look in that mirror and know I'm 99 pounds.

Does anyone else frequently raise or lower their UGW based on physical or emotional triggers?

[Help] Can't throw up anymore?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'3'' | 108.4 | 19.2 | -16 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 24 18:17:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u5mo1/cant_throw_up_anymore/
---
Hello all!

As the school year has gone on my stress response has turned from pure restricting to a cycle of restricting and binging. I used to be able to purge most of my binges, but suddenly I can't. It's like my stomach wants to hold onto the food, no matter what I do.

Any tips?

[Help] EC stack question
/u/-seouless
Created: Tue Nov 24 17:24:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u5frh/ec_stack_question/
---
i just recently started taking primatene + 200mg of caffeine pills about once a day or so and it's not doing anything at all for me.

is it because i got primatene instead of bronkaid, i'm not taking it enough or simply because it's not affecting me? which i feel is the case with a lot of medication... i was prescribed vyvanse 30mg, paid a lot for it to find out it doesn't work.

[Help] Facial swelling
/u/violentdancer [5'9" | 154 | 22.3 | -9 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 24 14:10:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u4n5i/facial_swelling/
---
I've been stuck in a b/p cycle for a few weeks now. My family is coming for thanksgiving and I don't want them to see my puffy face and figure out I'm up to my old ways. Any tips on getting the swelling down?

Ps currently on mobile and will flair later

[Help] Let's go shopping! Treadmills, mini trampolines, steppers, bikes, ellipticals...
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 24 13:33:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u4hb7/lets_go_shopping_treadmills_mini_trampolines/
---
I've been perusing [Amazon's cardio training section](http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_st_featured-rank?rh=n%3A3375251%2Cn%3A!3375301%2Cn%3A10971181011%2Cn%3A3407731%2Cn%3A3407741%2Cp_72%3A1248957011%2Cp_36%3A-30000&qid=1448396295&bbn=3407741&sort=featured-rank) but keep changing my mind about what to get. I live upstairs in a shared house so I want something relatively compact (as compared to the more expensive $$$ fancy machines you can use at the gym) that I can hop on after work for a few hours.

Does anyone have any recommendations or suggestions as to what type of equipment would be good for mindless cardio?

[Goal] I'm back.
/u/vanityfairandco
Created: Tue Nov 24 10:28:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u3nj6/im_back/
---
Well not to the subreddit. But I feel a relapse coming on hardcore.

I had an ED for about four years and then this year gained weight and have been a lot better with the help of a nutritionist but I am sick of this. I want my body back.

So hello.

I don't know how much I weigh now--probably 120? 115? I used to be 92. I'm 5'1". Would like to be 98-100 again. I'm 23.

Let's do this.

[Thinspo] Keep going.
/u/nocloudsinmycoffee [5'4"| CW: 116 | GW: 110]
Created: Tue Nov 24 09:42:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u3g7i/keep_going/
---
http://i.imgur.com/qtzDcS5.jpg

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 24, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 24 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u3a4k/daily_food_diary_november_24_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 24, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Tip] Drawing on bodies
/u/Voatoc22v6
Created: Tue Nov 24 03:10:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u29j1/drawing_on_bodies/
---
[removed]

Proana texting buddy?
/u/mattsulli
Created: Tue Nov 24 01:29:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u21t6/proana_texting_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Help] Feminism + EDs = Confusion! Help?
/u/Stayinggawake
Created: Mon Nov 23 20:55:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u18xy/feminism_eds_confusion_help/
---
So...a girl in one of my classes said earlier today:

"A girl can't be a feminist if they have, like, anorexia and aren't even trying to recover."

And I didn't even know what to say. I still don't. I am:

a. in the painful throws of an ED and...and yet don't really want to get better, not right now anyway, I don't know.

b. a feminist. Or at least I think of myself as one? I support equal rights/pay for women. I wouldn't want my daughter, if I ever have one, feeling like society says she *must* be thin or she'll be useless and no boys will like her. And yet, I feel like *I* have to be thin (not just for other people, obviously).

I somehow feel really guilty for having all these food issues and weight insecurities and obsessions, like I should be a strong woman/role-model/what-have-you who doesn't give a shit and am betraying people who are like that.

Or as though I'm leading some kind of double agent life, where I'm outwardly against internalizing thin ideals and all about women just feeling fine with themselves regardless and focusing on important stuff like their job/passions/life. Meanwhile inwardly I'm looking at thinspo (like all the time haha) and pinching my thighs and obsessing over the calories in a bagel. Feeling my hipbones gives me so much satisfaction. I don't want to stop.

Like, I want people to see me super skinny but don't want them to think I'm obsessed with weight and food?

Tonight, I'm not only going *Don't eat that, you pig* in my head, but also *You're a terrible, shallow person, obsessing over this*.

I assume someone here has thought this out much better than I - maybe help me call a cease-fire in the battleground of my head?


Edit: Thank you SO MUCH everyone for your responses. Seriously, they helped a lot. :)


[Discussion] Have any of you had an ED since you were a little kid?
/u/BurntGingrBreadSmell
Created: Mon Nov 23 19:19:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u0woi/have_any_of_you_had_an_ed_since_you_were_a_little/
---
I don't remember not having an ED. It grew up as I grew up. Like, I don't even know how to separate out the parts of my personality that are the ED from the parts that are 'me.' My parents certainly didn't help (pretty sure dear mummy has an ED too haha), but I feel like I can't even pinpoint a cause.

Wondering if anyone can relate.

[Discussion] DSM-5 Eating Disorders and Other Specified Eating and Feeding Disorders: Is There a meaningful Differentiation? (scientific paper) (Let me know if it's annoying/boring when I post these? I seem to be on a manic coffee-fueled research kick this week...)
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Mon Nov 23 19:02:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u0ugh/dsm5_eating_disorders_and_other_specified_eating/
---
http://www.researchgate.net/profile/A_Fairweather-Schmidt/publication/260684255_DSM-5_eating_disorders_and_other_specified_eating_and_feeding_disorders_Is_there_a_meaningful_differentiation/links/00b49532a1e6d61632000000.pdf

[Discussion] Can we talk about BED?
/u/mcgonigle43 [5'5 | CW:130 | GW: 110 | 21.89 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 23 17:41:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u0jtn/can_we_talk_about_bed/
---
I always felt like I had more BED than anything, because binging has always been my worst, especially lately :/. But I guess with BED you binge WITHOUT any sort of restricting or purging? I've always been binge/restrict, so I guess I just have EDNOS (that's kinda what I classified myself as anyways). So is BED only present in overweight individuals? Or is it more than that?

Edit: Thanks for the responses everyone, I guess I didn't research things very well. Does anyone else feel better when they know more about their ED? Like I always want to know more about it. It doesn't make things better really, but I FEEL better about it, like I'm getting to know it more.

[Help] Muscles giving out
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Mon Nov 23 16:18:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u0888/muscles_giving_out/
---
I've been exercising regularly (walking/jogging/swimming), and my muscles are giving out despite not having pushed myself too much (IMO at least). They start to shake, hurt really bad, then tremoring, and then completely giving out. Walking is shake and using my arms is the same. Today at the pool I was a little afraid of drowning or swallowing water because of it.

I increased my daily calories from 900 cap to 1000 cap. I bought primatene (bronkaid but with a different version of ephedrine) for my asthma in addition to my inhaler to see if being able to breathe better helps at all. I haven't noticed a difference.

I know from recent tests my anemia is still an issue. I wonder if I should increase my supplements.

Do you ever experience problems like this? If so, what helped?

[Discussion] What are some of your favorite quotes?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5"| CW 139.2 | 23.4 | -30.8 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 23 15:29:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3u010x/what_are_some_of_your_favorite_quotes/
---
I used to have a huge notebook of them, but I had to toss all physical evidence of my habits. Such a bummer.

The one resonating with me today is:

ā€œIf I quit now, I will soon be back to where I started. And when I started I was desperately wishing to be where I am now.ā€

[Help] Binged last night and feel like shit.
/u/shrinkingviolet103 [5'5.5" | 110 | 18 | -5 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 23 14:30:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tzrxj/binged_last_night_and_feel_like_shit/
---
I ate, like, 1000cal worth of pizza and beer at my friends' place. My stomach hurts so much today and I feel bloated and gross. :(

I want to be back at my goal weight of 103 by Christmas. But between the holidays and dating a new guy (WHY does going out for food have to be a popular dating thing?), I'm worried I won't make it.

If anyone wants to Kik me and we can trade thinspo and keep each other on track, I'd really appreciate it. I use the same username on Kik as I do here.

edit: I'm new to Kik and having an ana buddy so hopefully I can be good at this. I got to my goal weight by myself last time but not having someone to help hold me accountable made it hard not to gain it back after I went through a bad breakup.

[Discussion] Anyone else here preparing for a Thanksgiving binge?
/u/DoctorFitLord
Created: Mon Nov 23 14:20:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tzqch/anyone_else_here_preparing_for_a_thanksgiving/
---
I'm not eating at all from here until Thursday to maximize the scale of my Thanksgiving binge. Is anyone else doing something similar?

[Discussion] Thank the LORD for EC stacks
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149 | 27.2 | 1.6 lbs | F | oink oink]
Created: Mon Nov 23 14:08:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tzoi7/thank_the_lord_for_ec_stacks/
---
I feel on top of the world and restricting is no problem. Is there a crash with this? It's also made my depression almost vanish. No more bingeing ! Never going back!

[Discussion] Do you trust calorie counts?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Nov 23 12:30:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tz8sl/do_you_trust_calorie_counts/
---
I had a large Pret A Manger chicken noodle soup for 180 cals today but it tasted too good. I think I'm starting to get paranoid about the calorie counts on things...

[Rant] Quick doctor-related rant
/u/LilyMae91 [5'7 | 115.6 | 18 | 14 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 23 12:09:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tz5jo/quick_doctorrelated_rant/
---
Okay, so I've been seeking treatment for anxiety and depression for years. I moved areas so I got a new GP and had a new appointment to get my prescription refilled and so she could meet me.

I told her about my eating as I was concerned that it could just keep going and going and I wanted to be honest. She referred me to an assessment team.

I saw the assessment woman today and we talked for almost 90 minutes. During that time she asked me lots of questions about my ED and I was completely honest with her. My current BMI is 19, and as such, I did not qualify for any form of ED help. I told her that I was kind of happy about that, since it meant that I could carry on going.

Bear in mind I've lot 7lb in 10 days and I can't bring myself to eat more than 200 calories on days when I don't fast. But I'm not sick enough for help, so I guess that means what I'm doing is fine?

My logical brain and my ED brain are fighting so hard over this. I'm still 10lb away from my goal weight but at the same time I know what I'm doing is stupid, but I won't stop....

So many thoughts, I just had to share with people who understand. Sorry for venting xo

[Discussion] How is it even possible?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 23 11:38:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tz0uh/how_is_it_even_possible/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Just ED things
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 23 10:18:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tyo93/just_ed_things/
---
People glamorize our problem a lot. Let's poke fun of it a bit!

[Discussion] Last time I hit this weight I binged away all my progress in 3 months
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Mon Nov 23 09:53:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tykb4/last_time_i_hit_this_weight_i_binged_away_all_my/
---
I'm feeling nervous today, I'm a the same weight I reached last year when something snapped and I entered a binge cycle that undid all my progress. Does hitting a certain weight ever trigger things for you because of memories/history? I don't know if I'm explaining this well, but I guess hitting this weight again reminded me of my last failure. But I just need to keep going and prove that I can succeed.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 23, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 23 09:02:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tyczd/daily_food_diary_november_23_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 23, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Favorite teas you drink regularly?
/u/Greenteapls [5'5" | 100 | 16.84 | -35 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 23 07:27:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ty0sr/favorite_teas_you_drink_regularly/
---
Looking for some new teas to try :)

[Discussion] Holiday fast kik group
/u/Shelbolovesnate [5'2" | 105.6 | 20.01 | 29.4 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 23 05:22:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3txnz4/holiday_fast_kik_group/
---
Hello everyone! Feel free to join us on a fast up until Thanksgiving - kik group FestiveFasting. :)

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! November 23, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 23 05:02:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3txmac/weekly_stats_update_november_23_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 23, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] A fast until Thanksgiving
/u/Shelbolovesnate [5'2" | 105.6 | 20.01 | 29.4 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 22 22:04:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3twla5/a_fast_until_thanksgiving/
---
Anyone want to join me on a fast until Thursday? Holidays are stressful for us and generally unavoidable, but I figured maybe this will make me feel a small percentage less guilty. Help me stay accountable. :)

[Help] EC Stack/Bronkaid Question
/u/whattawannabe [5'6" | 110 | 17.8 | -23 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 22 21:00:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3twdrc/ec_stackbronkaid_question/
---
I just came across threads about Bronkaid. Before I buy it, I was wondering a few things.

Have you guys experienced any weird respiratory side effects with it?

Also, there are supplements online that [claim](https://www.a1supplements.com/hi-tech-eca-xtreme) to be EC Stack.. are these worth looking in to?

Recently had a med change that has severely increased my appetite and need some extra help. Haven't used diet pills in years. Any other recommendations are welcome.

Thanks!

[Help] New subscriber. Have a few questions about bulimia.
/u/17293
Created: Sun Nov 22 20:53:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3twcs1/new_subscriber_have_a_few_questions_about_bulimia/
---
I am male, 24, 5'5", 270#. I purge sometimes after eating a big meal. (Once or twice a week) I was wondering if anyone had any warning about the effects of vomiting, such as damage to my throat, teeth, or fingers due to stomach acid? (I put my fingers down my throat to vomit). I wash my hands and rinse my mouth out afterwards every time.

[Help] Ephedrine Question
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 22 19:59:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tw659/ephedrine_question/
---
Hey guys, so I was wondering how ephedrine works for you guys? Like do you take it and it just gives you the energy to workout or does it burn fat on its own without working out? Thanks <3

[Discussion] My fitness pal friends (and others)
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 112 | 18.8 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 22 19:35:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tw382/my_fitness_pal_friends_and_others/
---
I have 1 friend on my fitness pal, so my user is subspacehipster if anyone wants to add me!

I am also looking to follow/add people on mpa, tumblr, blogger, or pinterest boards if you guys have any :)

[Discussion] I have clashing body anxieties (maybe TMI)
/u/mcgonigle43 [5'5 | CW:130 | GW: 110 | 21.89 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 22 17:31:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tvn3h/i_have_clashing_body_anxieties_maybe_tmi/
---
I hate my boobs and always have because I have really large areolas and not very big boobs (probs average sized, but not proportional to the areola size). I've always felt really anxious about them. Them and my weight are the two things that I focus on the most when I'm hating my body (basically always). The thing is, they look better when my boobs are fuller, and right now I'm trying to get down to my previous lowest weight (~115) and then lose some more after that. I know they look worse when I'm at a lower weight. They just look kind of misshapen and deflated.

There's not really an answer to this I guess, but does anyone else have other body anxieties that worsen when losing weight? What do you do about your other body anxieties?

[Discussion] Have you ever fainted?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 22 14:12:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tuv79/have_you_ever_fainted/
---
Were you in public? At home? Were you with people? How did they react? How many times has it happened? What were you eating like before it happened? What did you do after?

[Discussion] Why do I keep doing this!?
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 141lbs | 22.7 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 22 13:30:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tuorx/why_do_i_keep_doing_this/
---
I'm so sick of this! I've spent the last hour eating more than I have all week! Stuffing my face like a pig! I hate everything about myself right now and to be honest I don't even want to face the amount of food I've just eaten. I've never felt so ashamed... I want nothing more in the world to just throw up and feel some sort of control over what crap I've just put myself through but I cant, I know I can't. I'm so sick of the fact I'm fat. I'm sick of looking in the mirror and despising what I see with every fibre of my being. I'm sick of the fact I can't get the surgery I want. I hate being like this yet I can't stop.. I have no control. I don't want to be the fat freak anymore. I want a body I'm happy with. I want to look in the mirror just one time and be happy, just once. I'm sick of looking at other people and hating them because they have a body to die for, because of how pretty they are, how wonderful they look in anything and here I am, hiding in clothes that don't fit because I'm ashamed of how fat I am, how f***inv ugly I am. Why can't I just lose weight? Why can't I be happy, just once? Why do I keep doing this..? Why do I have no control? I feel totally worthless. You guys are so strong, you don't even realise.

I'm sorry for the rant, I just needed to vent a little... Hope everyone else is doing okay today..

[Discussion] Idea: Use glucomannan-thickened water before binging
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 22 12:30:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tug1r/idea_use_glucomannanthickened_water_before_binging/
---
I haven't tried this, but I found that when I purge, I never get *everything* up and that my stomach usually layers by density. If I use very dense glucomannan-thickened water to layer the bottom of my stomach then binge on top of that, I could theoretically purge up to the glucomannan. I think I'm going to do that for thanksgiving. Like drink four cups of glucomannan-thickened water until I'm super full, and then probably eat on top of that, then purge.

[Discussion] Hyperactivity in patients with anorexia nervosa and in semistarved rats: evidence for a pivotal role of hypoleptinemia (Does anyone else obsessively love science related to EDs?)
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Sun Nov 22 09:04:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ttn3d/hyperactivity_in_patients_with_anorexia_nervosa/
---
http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Regina_Casper/publication/6931080_Hyperactivity_in_patients_with_anorexia_nervosa_and_in_semistarved_rats_evidence_for_a_pivotal_role_of_hypoleptinemia/links/00b7d532c77371c867000000.pdf

why do people want me to gain weight? im not even skinny
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 22 09:02:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ttmvb/why_do_people_want_me_to_gain_weight_im_not_even/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 22, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 22 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ttmur/daily_food_diary_november_22_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 22, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


adderall
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 22 08:32:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ttjag/adderall/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Actually felt pretty good!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 22 03:28:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tstmr/actually_felt_pretty_good/
---
[deleted]

Not sure what just happened, but it's awesome!
/u/Ire_of_suburbia
Created: Sun Nov 22 03:04:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tsrxi/not_sure_what_just_happened_but_its_awesome/
---
Long story short, yesterday I went over my calorie goal by quite a lot so I was expecting to have gained this morning...
Instead I lost 0,4 kg! I hadn't weighed this much since like February.
I'm still far from being thin but at least I'm not that huge anymore.

[Tip] "Safe Recipes"
/u/BlueJiggly [5'1" | 97.3 |18.3 | -10 87 Goal | F]
Created: Sun Nov 22 00:02:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tsfcu/safe_recipes/
---
Looking for any links to 'safe' recopies to add to my excel spreadsheet

[Discussion] welp, that was an interesting evening...
/u/smallprincess [5' | 189.6# | bmi38.9 | -22.4# | F]
Created: Sat Nov 21 21:34:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ts1nk/welp_that_was_an_interesting_evening/
---
so, i went out to a trivia night with my family. cool, in theory.

my family friend named our team "Fat People Are Harder to Kidnap"

**Seriously** i cannot make this shit up.

there was a bunch of food there, nothing i was particularly interested in, honestly (potato chips, cheese doodles, cookies, pretzels, bland snack crap). I had a diet soda (served by the rudest bartender i have yet encountered), a slice of pizza, and a handful of cauliflower. and then i added a few cucumber slices to my glass of water.

i only netted about 363calories for the evening. which means i can still have a (much more satisfying than potato chips) snack before i go to bed.

but still, that team name...how was anyone at our table supposed to eat anything with a team name like that?? (and all but one person at the table was big-to-bigger) and another family member sitting next to me kept trying to get me to eat cookies and brownies and dip my cauliflower in ranch, and eat another piece of pizza (because she didn't want to shove it in her mouth, which she eventually did after i turned it down the 4th time). it's like *dude, i'm FAT over here, can you please leave me alone to attempt to be LESS FAT? kthxbye*

i dunno, family is stressful.

Was literally asked how to 'get anorexia' by a coworker.
/u/thunderbirdandspice
Created: Sat Nov 21 20:31:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3truv3/was_literally_asked_how_to_get_anorexia_by_a/
---
My closest coworker/'friend' knows I have eating issues, but doesn't even know half of the severity of it. I only told her because she was constantly pushing candy and sweets and donuts on me and I just told her I struggle with eating sometimes and that it makes me uncomfortable.

Flash forward to today, she sits me down, and tells me she 'really wants advice on how to get anorexic because she doesn't like how she looks and wants to look more like me'.

I was taken aback, and I honestly just looked at her. It felt infuriating. I've had this for over half of my life, and I'm constantly miserable, and you're seriously asking me how to GET it?

No one sits their friends down and ask "how do I become bipolar" or "how do I acquire an addiction", but they I guess think it's appropriate to go ahead and ask for something like this.

I just said I couldn't have this conversation and left. I tried to cool off and think about the fact that her body issues may be very real and she just didn't know what to do, blah blah, but my empathy only extends so far, especially when I feel so angry and offended.

Would you guys be pissed too?

[Thinspo] From the side
/u/clamshells [5'7" | 115 | 18.0 | -5 | f]
Created: Sat Nov 21 18:25:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3trgcy/from_the_side/
---
http://i.imgur.com/IzIrLrt.jpg

[Discussion] Safe(ish) thanksgiving foods to fill up on?
/u/mcgonigle43 [5'5 | CW:130 | GW: 110 | 21.89 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 21 18:09:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3treaq/safeish_thanksgiving_foods_to_fill_up_on/
---
Hey guys, getting kinda nervous about thanksgiving cause I have multiple celebrations next week (my fam, my SO's fam, my step-dads fam, etc.) including two just on Thursday. On Thursday, I can obvi use my previous meal as an excuse for not eating a lot, but still I'm nervous cause I feel like there's typically zero low-cal foods. And then it will be difficult to restrict after cause I'll have another dinner the next day. I know my fam usually has brussel sprouts that I love and fill me up a lot (though they usually have a lot of butter, but w/e). What do you guys usually fill up on?

[Discussion] I stopped myself mid-binge, but so much damage has been done that I think I feel just as bad as I would if I hadn't stopped.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 21 16:00:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tqxro/i_stopped_myself_midbinge_but_so_much_damage_has/
---
[deleted]

Best Tea Ever
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 21 14:33:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tqm9q/best_tea_ever/
---
http://www.republicoftea.com/hicaf-cinnamon-toast-black-tea-bags/p/v20272/

[Help] I had two weeks of setbacks and I'd like to quit denying it and move on.
/u/lindzeyy [5'5"| CW 139.2 | 23.4 | -30.8 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 21 13:25:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tqcos/i_had_two_weeks_of_setbacks_and_id_like_to_quit/
---
I turned 23 on Nov 3. It was the one year anniversary of losing a life-changing opportunity, so I knew I'd be prone to fucking things up.

Since then, I ate at an average of TDEE most days and had way too many foods that I should never touch. I already have digestive issues and these past couple weeks make things so much worse.

I didn't lose weight, but I didn't gain either. Throughout the years I have learned that I am great at maintaining a weight. I feel confident when I reach my UGW, I can stay there.

I want to berate myself because I know I could have been in the 130s by now. Easily. But I can't dwell on 'could haves'. I could have been in the 110s years ago, but thinking about it now does nothing.

We all have mistakes, some bigger than others. But we move on. Set backs happen, but I have to keep going. It's the only way.

I'm going to hit the 130s by the 1st of December. I'm not giving myself any other option. That ensures I get to at least 135 by Christmas.

You guys give me so much inspiration and hope. This is a pretty small community and I am very grateful that I can open up here. So thank you.

[Discussion] Accidentally fasted for 24 hours
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 112 | 18.8 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 21 11:55:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tpzq4/accidentally_fasted_for_24_hours/
---
I honestly can't believe it. I guess I just didn't get home until late, wouldn't let myself eat because I had shit I had to do, and laid in bed as long as physically possible this morning. Probably wouldn't have been able to do it without being sick af right now anyway. I can just never fast for this long before giving in. Sadly I know I need to eat at least a little or I'll be vomiting up stomach acid for hours later. But, still proud, need to use this as an opportunity to keep on restricting

[Help] Someone please tell me everything will be alright :(
/u/secretskinny [5'8.5| 116 | 17.4 | -18 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 21 09:53:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tpiwb/someone_please_tell_me_everything_will_be_alright/
---
College student here. I'm spending a week at home with my family for thanksgiving break, which means eating 'normally' for time that I'm here. I feel so alone and frustrated knowing I'm probably going to put on some weight while I'm here just to hide the extent of my ed.

How do you guys deal with this? I've suffered so much to get down to 116 pounds and I'm about to throw it all away to keep my family happy and clueless. I must have eaten 2500 calories yesterday and I could just die of shame :/

I can probably get away with eating around 1500 calories a day and doing just one workout a day.

Can someone please tell me everything will be okay?

[Discussion] But I didn't make the eggs...
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 152 | 22.04 | -13 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 21 09:39:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tpgyh/but_i_didnt_make_the_eggs/
---
http://m.imgur.com/vUe5a8Y

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 21, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 21 09:02:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tpc2p/daily_food_diary_november_21_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 21, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] The Scale Is My Friend (Today, anyway)
/u/smallprincess [5' | 189.6# | bmi38.9 | -22.4# | F]
Created: Sat Nov 21 08:40:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tp9az/the_scale_is_my_friend_today_anyway/
---
TODAY, for the first time in i can't even tell you how long, i hit under 200lbs. 199.4!!

i am so happy right now! it's working (restricting to under 900 cals a day); i mean, i know the math works, but today i can see that it's actually really doing something. i know that just under 200lbs is still really big, but progress in the right direction makes me so happy.

this is why i do this, this thrill, this triumph, is unlike any other. i'm going to update my flair now :)

onward and downward! :D

[Help] Any way to maintain mood while restricting?
/u/Emperished
Created: Sat Nov 21 04:12:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tok7e/any_way_to_maintain_mood_while_restricting/
---
I struggle to maintain fasting because my mood just goes mental. Any tips for starving without destroying everyone around you?

[Tip] Binge stopper
/u/Shelbolovesnate [5'2" | 105.6 | 20.01 | 29.4 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 21 03:15:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tog7x/binge_stopper/
---
Go browse /r/stuffers and imagine that is what you will look like. Horrifying, but effective.

[Tip] Baby food as a safe food?
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 132lbs | BMI 20.6| Weight Lost: 13lbs | Female]
Created: Sat Nov 21 02:34:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3todcr/baby_food_as_a_safe_food/
---
Does anyone else use baby food? It comes in tiny portions that you know have plenty of nutrients and it's designed for tiny stomachs and metabolisms.

It's a hard food to eat really fast too, so you end up taking your time with it and they have some pretty good flavours. I get baby food for like 10+months and it does the trick pretty well.

[Help] The actual hunger
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Fri Nov 20 23:41:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3to05i/the_actual_hunger/
---
Now that I am on day 29 of staying under 900 (mostly under 500 actually), I have started to get used to the pangs, the dizziness, and the all around disorientation. Today though, I am so hungry. I am so incredibly hungry like I haven't been in weeks.

I drank a ton of water. I had some tea. Chewed gum. I am actually just hungry. It's been weeks since it's been this strong.

But I don't want to eat more than I have today. So I'm gonna just deal with the pain.

How do you guys deal with the pain when you're actually hungry but don't wanna eat?

[Help] Is there any downside to eating too much celery?
/u/carrots-carrots
Created: Fri Nov 20 21:02:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tnkb3/is_there_any_downside_to_eating_too_much_celery/
---
Like, am I in for an unpleasant bathroom experience in a few hours? I've probably eaten like 5 stalks already...

It was a rough day. I figured it'd be a safe binge food. :/

EDIT: Had some soft #2s an hour later, but otherwise everything turned out ok!

[Discussion] Do you think you have an eating disorder?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 20 20:34:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tnh9f/do_you_think_you_have_an_eating_disorder/
---
Just curious where everyone else feels they stand.

Whatever you say, why or why not?

Just binged and purged four times in the last 3 hours
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 20 20:13:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tnexe/just_binged_and_purged_four_times_in_the_last_3/
---
Don't do this. It sucks. I'm binging again...making this the fifth time. I've eaten almost $100 worth of food. My god, this is fucked up.

[Thinspo] Eugenia Cooney
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 20 18:55:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tn629/eugenia_cooney/
---
https://instagram.com/eugeniacooney/

[Goal] Looking for someone like me
/u/kindaldolphin
Created: Fri Nov 20 18:04:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tn026/looking_for_someone_like_me/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Workouts
/u/LilyMae91 [5'7 | 115.6 | 18 | 14 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 20 17:38:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tmwve/workouts/
---
I'm joining a gym for the first time in years! What sort of workouts do you guys do/find most effective? I have a terribly short attention span, so I'm pretty bad at 90 min treadmills but if I have to then I have to. Also, do any of you smoke and go to the gym? xo

[Help] How to look less like you're dying
/u/hobosforbreakfast
Created: Fri Nov 20 16:57:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tmrmk/how_to_look_less_like_youre_dying/
---
How do I not look terminally ill?

My skin is sallow and pale. My salivary glands stick out. My eyes look more deep set than ever.

Makeup/skincare tips please and thank you?

[Discussion] The thanksgiving recipe thread!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 20 16:51:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tmqxc/the_thanksgiving_recipe_thread/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Its like im in every category. Just venting. Feel free to comment or troll.
/u/ED_Ent
Created: Fri Nov 20 16:47:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tmqc6/its_like_im_in_every_category_just_venting_feel/
---
I used to have bulimia. I use to never eat unless it was a binge. I used to never work out or exercise. Now I do it all. I fast for a couple days at a time. I binge on 300-600 calories. I self harm. I'm in love with losing weight and thinspo even though I'm only down to 130s. I'm in love with triggers of all kinds. I find it intriguing like art. I don't want to be in every category like this though. I need to know what I am. Who I am. And what I have. I need a label to decide if I want to even try to fully recover. Because right now. I just want more. To lose more. And I know that I should be ashamed. And I'm not.

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Nicole Richie's legs
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 20 16:00:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tmjxl/thinspo_nicole_richies_legs/
---
http://imgur.com/a/O3lut

[Help] [Help] I don't drink a lot of water, but I drink sooo much tea
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 20 15:51:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tmiqa/help_i_dont_drink_a_lot_of_water_but_i_drink_sooo/
---
I don't drink as much water as I should. I tried having a 2L bottle at my desk at work and I could never pace myself and ended up drinking it all within the hour and bloating and things were terrible. What I've been doing instead is drinking like 3-4 travel mugs of plain green tea a day, because the heat helps me pace myself. Is this okay? I do drink a couple glasses of water a day, just not nearly as much as I should. How do you guys force yourself to pace your water drinkage?

[Help] I'm not sure how this happened....please help explain...
/u/amidala12
Created: Fri Nov 20 13:12:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tlw98/im_not_sure_how_this_happenedplease_help_explain/
---
21F been restricting and fasting for weeks. I was started a year ago at 165 lbs and after lots of diet and excersize changes, I got down and hit a plateau at 121lbs. I have been at a plateau of about 121 for 3 or 4 months and started restricting and fasting the past couple weeks.i finally got PAST my goal weight of 118 and hit 116.2, 2 days ago. Then yesterday I didn't exactly binge but I couldn't stop eating all day and ate about 3000 calories in a day. I weighed in this morning at 120lbs. I know i fucked up but almost 4 lbs??and i dont understand why I couldn't stop eating.....I didn't binge at any point, just ate throughout the day. I even ran 3 miles yesterday. I am kind of heart broken right now and am also wondering if weighing myself regularly is having negative consequences on my diet.
Tl;dr how did I gain 4 lbs from a 3000 calorie day? Why did my usual intense discipline just disappear for a day? Does seeing progress cause anyone else to have a lapse in diet more than normal?

[Help] Started purging
/u/brileybreid
Created: Fri Nov 20 10:30:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tl86a/started_purging/
---
So i have always been a binger and never really thrown up except a couple times and it wasnt a lot but I did it last week and I just did right now. I have read a lot about how it is the worst cycle and how is best to avoid it but it definitely gave me relief. I feel good that even though theres still a bunch of food in me I managed to get rid of some of it. I am not eating it back at all but I feel like I can continue with my day and not feel too guilty and bad about my binge. Purging like this is very new to me I have always fasted instead. What should I expect after this? Did you also started just bingeing and went onto purging too after? any advice?



[Goal] NSV: Just binged. So full, my belly is about to explode. Total damage - 650 calories.
/u/drunkenphilosophy [160 cm (5'3") | 43.0 kg (95 lbs) | Binged 24/12-27/12 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 20 10:03:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tl463/nsv_just_binged_so_full_my_belly_is_about_to/
---
Baked curried cauliflower, low fat cottage cheese, Greek salad with low calorie wasabi dressing, homemade pea sprout stir fry, Weight Watchers strawberry Jell-O.


I look pregnant and I feel like a fat man that's just defeated a buffet. For 650 calories? I won't lie, I'm ecstatic. Technically I can eat a sandwich and still be under my TDEE for today.

LONG LIVE VEGETABLES

[Goal] I forgot how addicting it is... CW Self Harm
/u/butterflyjellyfish [5'8" | 160 | 24.3 | 14 lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 20 09:04:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tkvkh/i_forgot_how_addicting_it_is_cw_self_harm/
---
I thought I'd had it beat. I gained a lot of weight, ate whatever I want, and was really happy not worrying about it. And then somebody made an off-hand comment: "Wow, you could be so much prettier if you just lost a little bit of weight." I wasn't that bad. I was four pounds into "overweight" territory. But that's all I needed to go spiraling down. And now it's been three weeks, I've lost 14 pounds, and I don't know when I'll be able to stop again. But I **love** it. I've been cutting regularly for almost three years. I haven't cut in three weeks because I finally have something to be proud of. So maybe I'm falling back into eating disorder territory again, but isn't that better? I'm not slicing myself open, I'm losing weight, I'm getting healthy. Right?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 20, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 20 09:02:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tkv9x/daily_food_diary_november_20_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 20, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Co-worker has shown concern and that makes me happy.
/u/Ellae [5.3.5" | 109.5 lbs. | 19.5 | -32.5 lbs. | Female]
Created: Fri Nov 20 09:00:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tkuye/coworker_has_shown_concern_and_that_makes_me_happy/
---
Let me start by saying I don't think I have an ED. I have been counting calories for the majority of the year and I think that does things to how you look at food. I may have some sort of body dysmorphia because I look at my naked body and just see where there's fat. I dislike how muscular I have gotten from exercise but I enjoy exercise so I will continue. I keep changing my goal weight lower and lower with a goal to be slightly underweight. I want to be healthy but I want to look as good as I possibly can...

My SO says I love food too much to have an ED. I do love food but I love being thin more. (If I am even considered thin.)

Anyways, no one at work has said anything since the last 8 lbs. I lost which has lowered my self-esteem a bit. I expect someone to notice that I am thinner...

Finally, a co-worker commenting on my eating habits last night. He is possibly underweight himself, extremely thin for a man, but he said "How long are you going to continue to not eat? Are you going to keep doing that until you become nothing?" I found it ironic since he himself is very thin and dislikes eating a lot of food.

He continued to question me a bit. He asked or commented: "I hope you have a healthy goal weight that you intend to stop at."

I side-stepped the question; laughed it off a bit, and work continued.

It made me happy though. Finally someone seemed to notice how much thinner I have gotten. My internal answers are "Slightly underweight, but I think I can stop when I reach 99 lbs. I intend to attempt to stay healthy and get as much nutrition as I can in 600-800 calories a day."

It's like a game to me, where the less I eat with the most nutrition is the goal, with weight loss being the prize. I hope to win.

[Discussion] A thinspo admirer
/u/thinliker
Created: Fri Nov 20 06:55:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tkeum/a_thinspo_admirer/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! November 20, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 20 05:02:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tk41b/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_november_20/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for November 20, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Tip] [best diet purchase ever]
/u/edm808
Created: Fri Nov 20 02:27:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tjrtm/best_diet_purchase_ever/
---
I got this water bottle and ive been drinking SO much more water and wanting to snack less!!

I cut up lemon, mint, cucumber on sunday and 5 strawberries (one per day), saved them in a tupperware and just fill before I go to work, and refill with water all day

LIFE CHANGING FOR ME - anyone else use this or have similar tips?


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00L1WQFKU/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_pa_1?pf_rd_p=1944687742&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0093F9LW6&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0QGH59B9JXS615NC75X7


[Discussion] What supplements do you take and for what reasons?
/u/thin-kitty [5'6 | 140 | 22.6 | -95 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 23:42:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tjere/what_supplements_do_you_take_and_for_what_reasons/
---
Right now I'm just taking the typical multivitamin. Wondering what else would be a good choice to add to my routine?

[Discussion] Does anyone live in the Bay Area?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 19 22:59:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tjat1/does_anyone_live_in_the_bay_area/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] I'm talking to my fasting buddy again
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 19 22:53:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tja5o/im_talking_to_my_fasting_buddy_again/
---
[removed]

[Help] Relapsing Bad
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 19 20:32:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tium8/relapsing_bad/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] How I stopped mid-binge
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 20:19:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tit2v/how_i_stopped_midbinge/
---
I've been advocating this, but for anyone who has binge restrict issues, this really helps.

Instead of tracking the amount of calories you eat per day. Track per week.

From Sunday to Thursday, I've had 322, 565, 1070, 280, and 1400. The 1400 was from today's binge. My total for the week is 3762. Now if I fast Friday and Saturday, then my total number for the entire week will still be 3762. Well 3762/7 = 537.4, so my average calories per day is still 537.4. Therefore, that knowledge was enough to stop me mid-binge because I essentially can still be at a deficit for the week.

I use to track by day and this was not effective because weight loss doesn't occur by day. It's long term. Also, I would write off the day as a binge day and continue eating. Now, because I track by week, I won't write of the week because I usually can still save the week.

[Help] Inpatient update
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 19:51:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tipku/inpatient_update/
---
This is shit. I hate it here. They want me to gain 15+ pounds. There's no fucking way I can do this and I virtually can't leave.

This is so painful and I don't know what to do.

[Discussion] What's on your shopping list?
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Thu Nov 19 19:35:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tinih/whats_on_your_shopping_list/
---
I need some ideas on what I should buy when I go grocery shopping

EDIT: Thanks guys! :D I'm totes prepared

[Help] I cant stop binging. Anyone want to fast with me?
/u/NetflixOrRehab [5'4" | 117lbs :( | 17.2 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 18:18:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tidk8/i_cant_stop_binging_anyone_want_to_fast_with_me/
---
I cant stop. Usually i go back and forth between binging and fasting, but lately i cant stop. Ive gained almost 20lbs in the past three weeks and i look disgusting. I can see the weight even in my face. I dont know what to do. I need to start a fast. Support woukd help, company would be even better.

[Help] TMI, bodily function *pretend i can put the poo emoji here*
/u/smallprincess [5' | 189.6# | bmi38.9 | -22.4# | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 17:54:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tiad6/tmi_bodily_function_pretend_i_can_put_the_poo/
---
so, since i've been restricting this time around, i am having the hardest time with...pooping...(sorry, yucky, i know). *edited to add* i'm restricting down to 900 cals, i imagine that might make a difference.

i'm trying to stay hydrated, with somewhere between 60-100oz of water a day (i shoot for 100oz, it does not always happen). I guess i'm probably not getting enough fiber?

i've only been able to go like 1x a week. it's not good. and the thought of all of that just *sitting* there, *in* me, really grosses me out.

any tips for how i could fix this? i could get a hold of some fiber supplement? is there a recommendation? or would a laxative be my best bet at this point (i don't want to become dependent on them). does anyone else deal with this?

**THANK YOU** and sorry for the gross topic.

[Discussion?] I Wrote a Poem When My Weight Got Low Enough I had Hip Bones [Mildly NSFW]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 19 17:53:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tiacb/discussion_i_wrote_a_poem_when_my_weight_got_low/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Finally, scales!
/u/LilyMae91 [5'7 | 115.6 | 18 | 14 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 16:16:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3thxjp/finally_scales/
---
After so long of having to surreptitiously weigh myself on random people's scales at different times of day, I have finally got a set of my own. It feels so amazing to actually know what my true weight is. No more guessing how much clothes weigh. Just good proper data.

Note about posting pictures of yourself
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 14:53:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3thlpc/note_about_posting_pictures_of_yourself/
---
We have witnessed certain users posting pictures of "themselves", where these pictures are not actually of them. (You know who you are.) These users seem to merely be trying to get praise or attention. To minimize this activity, we will now remove any pictures of users not posted in the Selfie thread.

You cannot make a thread asking if you are skinny enough or asking if people think you are fat. The obvious reasons for this is because it's triggering for others and because we don't want to encourage eating disorders.

If you really really want to post a picture of yourself to your own thread, you are free to mark it as thinspo but you cannot make any allusion to the fact that the picture is you.

Thanks.

[Discussion] Small Victories
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 141lbs | 22.7 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 14:38:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3thjed/small_victories/
---
I thought it might be a good idea to celebrate each other's small victories, not matter what they are. Whether it's not binging or exercising more, not matter what it is, it might be nice to celebrate it and just help everyone feel a little better now the cold weather is really starting to set it :)

For me: I can finally sort of see that bone/muscle in my thighs. I don't know what it's called by its on my inner thigh. It sounds totally weird when I describe it but to have finally lost enough of my thighs to be able to see it- it means so much.

Now you all go! :)

[Help] Will I ever stop missing it?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 19 14:11:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3thffv/will_i_ever_stop_missing_it/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Clothed or unclothed?
/u/thishour [5'3 | 117 lbs | 20.73 | -8 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 14:08:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3thezc/clothed_or_unclothed/
---
How do you weigh yourself? Why?

[Thinspo] Jennifer Grace / Native Fox is a dream. <3
/u/130ismygoal [5'7" | 155 | 24.4 | -27 lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 14:02:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3the3n/jennifer_grace_native_fox_is_a_dream_3/
---
https://instagram.com/thenativefox/?hl=en

[Discussion] On Eating Like a Girl
/u/loveleigh33 [5'6"| 109.0| 17.66 | -78| F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 13:37:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tha8w/on_eating_like_a_girl/
---
http://thoughtcatalog.com/bri-lapelusa/2013/03/on-eating-like-a-girl/

[Goal] So my scale is really wrong, apparently
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 19 13:32:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3th9il/so_my_scale_is_really_wrong_apparently/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Fernanda Martinelli
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 12:35:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3th075/thinspo_fernanda_martinelli/
---
http://i.imgur.com/u95nvkU.jpg

[Help] TWO thanksgivings: what do I do?
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 96 | 17.48 | -40 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 11:51:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tgt8e/two_thanksgivings_what_do_i_do/
---
So I've been dealing with binging for the past few weeks, and I'm only now getting it a little under control. I'm worried enough about one Thanksgiving, but my mom decided that this year, I'm gonna be forced to have a *second* one with her (my parents are divorced and I usually just go to my dad's family celebrations).

I've been skipping a lot of family get-togethers: stayed home last Thanksgiving, Christmas, easter, and birthdays, so I feel a little obligated to go to at least one dinner this year. But I am NOT stuffing myself twice in one week plus binges! How do I get out of this without looking too suspicious? I can pretend to be at work, but if they decide to visit me and I'm not there, they'll know something's up. I can also just say I don't want to go, but that might make her angry...

Any advice?

[Discussion] Was totally worried the librarian might ask me if something was wrong
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 112 | 18.8 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 09:55:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tgatv/was_totally_worried_the_librarian_might_ask_me_if/
---
http://imgur.com/IZ0j6es

Two day fasting buddy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 19 09:34:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tg7h9/two_day_fasting_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 19, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 19 09:02:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tg2ly/daily_food_diary_november_19_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 19, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] Little physical changes you noticed when you hit your goal weight
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Nov 19 08:59:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tg23z/little_physical_changes_you_noticed_when_you_hit/
---
What are some body changes that pleasantly surprised you? I tried posting this in r/loseit but all the responses are things that a very obese person would find surprising ("tying shoes is easy"...) so I didn't find it inspiring.

Looking for a diet buddy- anyone interested?
/u/LeLierre [5'7 | 130 | 20.36 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 08:39:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tfz5b/looking_for_a_diet_buddy_anyone_interested/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Analysis of the 'safe foods' and 'binge foods' threads: What this subreddit eats
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Thu Nov 19 08:27:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tfxi1/analysis_of_the_safe_foods_and_binge_foods/
---
Of course, a number of people didn't comment, but here are the results of the small sample size. Apologies if this is a bit silly or boring, I get a little numbers obsessed when restricting I guess haha
_______________________
________________________

**Safe foods** in order of most to least popular (With number of people who chose them in parentheses. I did not include foods only mentioned once.):
___

Fat free Greek yogurt (4)
Turkey (4)
Chicken (4)
Tea (4)

________

Small Apples (3)
Eggwhites (3)
Tuna (3)
Sweet potatoes (3)
Broth (3)

___
Oatmeal (2) Hummus/carrots/celery (2) Cucumbers (2) Baby food (2) Toast (2) Lettuce (2) Califlower (2) Cottage cheese (2) Hot sauce (2)

____

15 people mentioned at least one vegetable as a safe food.

7 people mentioned food with dairy in it***

6 people mentioned at least one fruit.

6 people mentioned a meat product (excluding fish).

5 people mentioned fish / seafood.
____
____

**Binge Foods** in order of most to least common (with number of people who mentioned them in parentheses):

________
Pizza (8)

_____
Breakfast cereals (included Mini-Wheats, Cheerios, etc.) (6)
_____
Chocolate chip cookies (5)
____
Sandwhiches (4)
_______
Ice Cream (3) Chips/crisps (3)
_____
Oreos (2) Pasta (2) Zebra Cakes (2) Peanut butter (2) Bread (2) Popcorn (2) Pizza bread sticks (2) Sushi (2)
____
_____




***7 people eating/drinking food with dairy in them include a mention of CalorieMate, which I had to look up the ingredients of (and apparently they include milk).







[Discussion] Boyfriend triggers (How do they not know?)
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 152 | 22.04 | -13 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 08:11:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tfv6y/boyfriend_triggers_how_do_they_not_know/
---
(My favorite) "You're so *tiny*!"

"you're so little"

"I wish I looked as hot as you."

"We need to get serious about our diets."

"You eat like a bird"

"Are you actually going to eat dinner, or are you going to just eat half the toppings on a slice of pizza and drink half a bottle of vodka?"

And anytime he touches my hips, grips them, runs his hands down my ribs.

I havent lost much weight, and he hasnt specifically mentioned a change in my weight, just noticing a lot more of the "youre so hots" and "youre so small".

Sometimes, I want to tell him. Then he will say something so small and so casual and I will hyper focus and change my mind.

When he shows concern...thats when i will know Im skinny.

Its incredible how people dont realize the smallest thing can be a trigger. food is not food. Food is heaven and hell and a massive black hole.

Interestingly enough, I started rewatching sailor moon and din't realize the third episode ever talks about starving and over excersizing. Makes you wonder if the whole world is obsessed or if youre just noticing it where you didn't before.

[Tip] I love seeing my progress in graph form
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 123.8lbs | 18.54 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 19 08:09:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tfuu1/i_love_seeing_my_progress_in_graph_form/
---
http://imgur.com/U0Zb9KP

Slim [28F] with a strict and healthy diet and a tendency to binge looking for a food/diet partner!
/u/_reusable_throwaway_
Created: Thu Nov 19 07:54:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tfstl/slim_28f_with_a_strict_and_healthy_diet_and_a/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Supersize vs superskinny: gorgeous guy!
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Thu Nov 19 06:50:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tfklu/supersize_vs_superskinny_gorgeous_guy/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlZ2J2auGV4

[Discussion] Weekly Emotional Support November 19, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 19 05:02:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tf96n/weekly_emotional_support_november_19_2015/
---

We're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population.

Use this thread to post about your problems or ask for advice concerning things other than EDs/ED behaviors.

As always, follow the sub rules when reading or posting:

Thanks to /u/InTheGecko for the concept of this weekly post!

Weekly emotional well-being and support threads are posted every Thursday.

Have any questions or concerns? PM the mods.


[Help] I just binged. Again.
/u/salhey [5'5 | 160 | 26.6 | 0 | Female]
Created: Thu Nov 19 03:08:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tezm7/i_just_binged_again/
---
(Idk if this kind of post is allowed here, let me know)

I ate:

6 Cheddar + Sour Cream & Onion Ruffles chips

Half of a chicken parmesean sandwich...from a gas
station/convinence store

A shit ton of extra marinara sauce (I drove all the way to another store to put more sauce on it because whoever made the sandwich was stingy with the sauce)

I also bought ramen (can you tell I'm in college?) but the good feeling from stuffing myself started to wear off and I didn't eat it (thank goodness).


I feel really awful right now. I'm so fucking fat. I miss my ana body. I thought I had m body issues under control but it's been four years since I deemed myself "recovered". I just wanted to talk about my self-loathing to people that get it. The people around me certainly do not.

I just want to be skinny again but my control isn't as good as it was four, five years ago.

Help?



[Discussion] What do you dislike most about your current weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 18 22:04:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3te7gf/what_do_you_dislike_most_about_your_current_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] [Blog] Dying to be Thin: a pro-Ana blog (04/15/2007 - 07/01/2013)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 18 20:55:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tdyxz/blog_dying_to_be_thin_a_proana_blog_04152007/
---
http://www.anaregzig.blogspot.com/

[Thinspo] Do you think this is fake...how small is her waist?
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Wed Nov 18 20:33:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tdw8s/do_you_think_this_is_fakehow_small_is_her_waist/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Uzkn3pq.jpg

[Help] tw Binge
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | 115 | 17.03 | f]
Created: Wed Nov 18 16:52:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3td2zc/tw_binge/
---
I ate a whole jarrrrrrr of peanut butter today... because i caught my house mate eating it and I spazzed? and bread. probably going to purge wow but how do i further detox my body from this

[Discussion] gained .3kg overnight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 18 15:47:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tctlk/gained_3kg_overnight/
---
[deleted]

[Help] [Help/Discussion] Holiday is coming up too quickly
/u/Twosi [5'4" | 133.4 | 23.35 | 23.7 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 18 15:38:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tcsf4/helpdiscussion_holiday_is_coming_up_too_quickly/
---
I really don't feel prepared for it at all. As I'm sure a lot of us have, my family is the kind that manages to guilt you into seconds, thirds, and sometimes more at any get together... and I know that this year is going to be no exception. I've been pep talking myself daily, plotting out how best to deflect the comments about how small I am, how I need to eat more, here have some of the cheese ball... Starting out this month, I felt confident I could do this without fear, but the closer we get to it, the more anxious I become.

In years past, it means caving horribly to the guilt trips, both with the food on the day itself and then on their incessant need to "make up a bag to take home". I can never bring myself to toss it out as I should, and then comes a steady two to four day long battle of binge, purge, repeat. I hate it. It makes me queasy just thinking about it.

What can I do better from THIS point, right now, to steady myself? Suggestions for while I'm there? (Dinners are formal attire usually, (dresses with no pockets), and my family manage to have eyes all over the place.) I'm so nervous I'm considering faking sick to skip the whole thing, even though I'll never hear the end of it if I do. How are you all planning to cope? Any advice at all would be amazing.

[Goal] I finally reached my goal weight that I first posted 5 months ago.. Next stop is UGW!
/u/originalRedBull [5'5 | 104 | 17.51 | -29 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 18 14:48:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tckv9/i_finally_reached_my_goal_weight_that_i_first/
---
So I stepped on the scale after ~5 mile walk today, and I am finally at 105 lbs. I'm so glad that something good came out of this week, following a bad break up. I've been restricting to around 400cal/day, and trying not to purge.

Anyway, this is mostly a ramble but my next goal is 99 lbs by New Years :) I also bought myself a Fitbit today to celebrate/motivate.

I hope everyone else is having a good day!

[Thinspo] a collection
/u/cranberrycrush
Created: Wed Nov 18 12:48:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tc21u/a_collection/
---
http://imgur.com/a/cuK9i

The Great Binge-Free Leaderboard!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 119 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 18 12:20:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tbxkv/the_great_bingefree_leaderboard/
---
Here's the binge free leaderboard, in order of most days binge free to least days binge free. If you want to join, please do! The link is on the sidebar. Just add your name to the list!

Ties are listed on the same line. If your "number of days binge free" column is not filled out by the end of the week, you will not be on the list. Some of the people listed didn't have their calories marked for the week, so their days may not have been updated from last week. If it's inaccurate, let me know! Please remember to update! :)
If you update or need a correction after this is posted, please message me and I will add you to the list or change it as necessary!

Ā 

1. HeartshapesANDninjas - 26 days
2. smallprincess - 12 days
3. Loveleigh33 & Carriblue - 10 days (although I don't think this has been changed at all since last week so it's probably inaccurate)
4. airflowers & skinnywishlist - 9 days
5. esiwirartnoC, WorstCunt, infinitti - 7 days
6. InTheGecko, MrFattyPants, sunshinechild - 6 days
7. spghetti_enthusiast - 5 days
8. adelexo, LadySkywalker, sidium_, subspacehipster - 4 days
9. Klairvoyant, Noroeste, radbitch666 - 3 days
10. BathtubApplesauce, ButterflyJellyfish, Indigobeet, InItTLoseIt, Kapattak, ramona22, SanguineSmiles, SgtSarah - 2 days
11. -lightered, 500_mile_walker, bluberrydeathninja, floweredfox, melanin_42, notoriuscarrot, Psych0candy, SeaStars, snail_love, vemvemvem - 1 day

Ā 

Good week!! With Thanksgiving coming, try to get a perfect seven for the next spreadsheet. We can do it!! :)

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Angelina Jolie (The Hollywood Film Awards November 2014)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 18 12:08:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tbvu1/thinspo_angelina_jolie_the_hollywood_film_awards/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Tyg8WLB.jpg

[Thinspo] [Thinspo] UrbanOutfitters
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 18 09:54:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tbalj/thinspo_urbanoutfitters/
---
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/index.jsp

[Thinspo] Bones
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 18 09:48:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tb9ou/bones/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Iyv9g

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 18, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 18 09:02:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tb2mb/daily_food_diary_november_18_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 18, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


if i have just a bite of a sweet i feel terribly guilty even though i never allow myself any treats
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 18 07:46:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tas5s/if_i_have_just_a_bite_of_a_sweet_i_feel_terribly/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Blood after purging
/u/jellicoe_road [5'10" | 152.2 | 21.80 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 18 07:14:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tao1r/blood_after_purging/
---
I'm not sure what to do right now. I though I was ok to eat breakfast in my schools cafeteria because today I was feeling good, but I normally don't eat breakfast and I just ended up binging. When I purged just now I saw bright red blood in my vomit and my throat wont stop hurting. (sorry if TMI). Any advice on what to do??

[Discussion] Bought an electronic scale!
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 122 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 18 06:28:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3taihz/bought_an_electronic_scale/
---
I know it is a stupid waste of money, and I know it is gonna make paying my phone bill this month really hard (let alone rent etc, oh student life how you suck), but I feel sooooo much better being able to weigh myself accurately without having to use the scale at the gym.

It also does a body fat measurement, but I am not sure how much to believe it. It says 19.4%, but I am pretty sure I am higher...

[Tip] Swear to only buy snacks with coins!
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Wed Nov 18 05:25:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3tac8j/swear_to_only_buy_snacks_with_coins/
---
* it takes a lot of time to gather a significant amount of change

* if you *really* want that snack, you'll have enough money to satisfy the craving, but not enough to overdo it.

* having to count all the coins will give you time to rethink your decision



[Discussion] What supplements do you take?
/u/iduj777
Created: Wed Nov 18 04:20:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ta6lr/what_supplements_do_you_take/
---
I eat very low calorie (~600 cal) on a daily basis, however I do binge at least a couple times a month. I'm concerned that I'm not getting enough nutrients. Eating more calories is not an option for me right now, so I'm looking for other ways to get vitamins because I tend not to choose particularly healthy foods. I already take a multi but I feel like I should be doing more. I'm really worried about osteoporosis and stuff like that. Does anyone take anything in addition to a multi that they find beneficial?

[Discussion] Word Inspo
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 23:40:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t9jnf/word_inspo/
---
What words do you guys use to motivate yourself? Something other than fat for reverse thinspo, and skinny or thin for normal. Mine would be ethereal and wispy. I think gluttonous would be my reverse word.

[Help] Has anyone gained weight after you started running?
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Tue Nov 17 21:47:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t97rm/has_anyone_gained_weight_after_you_started_running/
---
My diet hasn't changed at all, basically for over five years. I maintained a weight of 95 for all that time. I decided to start running, before I would just walk. After a while I started gaining fast. I don't know if it's muscle or fat. I measured my waist and hips plus my arms and all haven't changed. But my thighs and legs have gotten bigger. Is this a normal thing? My boyfriend has known me for six years and hasn't noticed any weight gain, although he could be dishonest since he knows how I am about my weight. I'm not sure what to do. I'm thinking of walking instead since it kept me at a low weight. I want to get to 95 again!

[Help] Sick of this bulimia hell. How can I stop the compulsive need stuff my face and puke it up?
/u/90lbs [5'6"|~111lbs| F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 21:12:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t93rw/sick_of_this_bulimia_hell_how_can_i_stop_the/
---
I seriously cannot stop binging and purging multiple times a day. I really need to stop, my hair is falling out, my face is breaking out, I feel gross 24/7, and I can't sleep. Worst of all, I gained 10 pounds in 2 weeks!! FUCK!

[Help] hi everyone
/u/fattygod
Created: Tue Nov 17 20:53:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t91ir/hi_everyone/
---
Hey everyone! My real name is shorthand for an eating disorder--which is fitting, but I don't like it much. I'm Mia. I am 16 years old and have had eating issues on and off for the past 2 or 3 years. I know my dissatisfaction with my body dates back to age 11, but the problems didn't start until I was around 13 or 14.
Anyway, I recently moved to a boarding school where I take dual credit classes on a college campus. I had to quit competitive swimming, which I had been passionate about for the past four years, and a lot more junk is being shoved in my face and my will is breaking.
My mom has known about my weirdness towards food, but she's never pushed me towards getting help. In a way, its always sucked that my parents didn't notice my problem much--other than attempting to urge me to eat more, they never really did anything. Now that I've moved out, my mom says if I can't take care of myself she'll make me come home. Being at this school means everything to me, so I can't let that happen.
So, I made an attempt to eat more.... and more and more and more. And now--I think I'm at 120. I can't bring myself to step on a scale. This past week I've been running less and eating more and I'm really starting to feel utterly and miserably disgusted with myself. I don't think my fatness is a distorted body image anymore. I just binged on chocolate and attempted to purge but just couldn't. I don't know why I can't make myself throw up but it just won't happen.
Anyway, I just started this first real, heavy period I've had since I was like, 14. It's... weird and I'm craving things and I hate the way I look.
I still have a thigh gap, but my stomach is swollen and ugly and I feel so grotesque. I can't stop crying now and i don't know what to do with myself.
I used to feel so dainty and little at 105lb, I miss it. I miss being light headed and even though I still wasn't skinny enough then, I miss it. I feel like I've lost all control of my life. I don't know what to do anymore but I feel so miserable and ugly and worthless.
I just want to be a normal teenager, I don't want to think about food all the time.
I'm sorry for coming here and ranting like a whiny pathetic bitch but that's really all I am.
I don't know what to do. I'm so unhappy and I don't know what to do.

[Discussion] Goals and Clothes
/u/smallprincess [5' | 189.6# | bmi38.9 | -22.4# | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 20:46:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t90s3/goals_and_clothes/
---
what clothes do you want to wear at goal? alternatively, if you're at or close to goal, what do you love wearing? like a brand or a type, or even just a favorite piece.

i want to fit into kid's clothes. i used to fit into little girl's dresses and shirts when i weighed much less, and i just love the bright colors, fun patterns, and the 'oh, where'd you get that?' 'the kid's section' :)

[Help] Coming to terms with my disordered eating... [Long]
/u/goldberrydarling [5'3 | 133 lbs | 24.21 | -77 lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 20:12:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t8wee/coming_to_terms_with_my_disordered_eating_long/
---
I've been lurking here for a while now. I've really been in denial about my disordered eating. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my disordered eating patterns go way, WAY back. So, for what it's worth, here's my story.

I never realized that my mother had disordered eating. Her eating patterns... that was just the way things were. We joked with her about it but we never really *thought* about it. Three slices of toast a day is not normal. When she cooked for us, she never ate any of it herself. Family dinners around the table didn't exist - we got to eat in front of the tv so she wouldn't have to eat in front of us. I remember the odd times I couldn't sleep, I'd find my mother in the basement working out. I remember sitting on the steps, clutching my teddy-bear, and watching her until she realized I was there and told me to go back to bed. She only ever worked out when the rest of us were asleep. I'm stunned I never realized the signs for what they were until now.

Family life was stressful and fractured for many reasons. Disordered eating was a maladaptive coping method for both of us. While she used food to seek control, I used food to seek relief from feeling a lack of control.

I had been obese for as long as I can remember. I binged often. When I gained a freshman 25 instead of 15 in university, something inside me snapped. Away from home, I looked in the mirror and I could only feel angry at myself. Away from home, I finally felt like I could take control.

It started with low carb. Cutting foods. I went to a small university with a set weekly cafeteria menu. If the meal was carb-based, I'd stay in my room and eat a protein bar instead. I preferred sleeping in, so I skipped breakfast. Even if only one part of the meal was on my 'acceptable' foods list, I'd only eat what was given to me and never went for seconds. The cafeteria didn't provide meals on weekends, so I lived on three protein bars a day. I worked out the same three days every week no matter how shitty I felt. Nothing felt as good as seeing the scale drop consistently. I lost 60lbs in 5 months and suddenly had a body that I felt proud of. For a while I was happy, even though my hair was starting to fall out. I felt like I was in control. That life would be better now, somehow.

I moved back home and things changed. A series of unfortunate events brought back the binge eating, only this time it was worse. Even after I moved out, my abusive binging continued. I was at such a terrible low I would eat food out of the garbage - it's so shameful to admit that. I'd try to throw the food out, but I'd go back for it like an animal. I can't even really describe what I was thinking - I wasn't thinking, really. Just overwhelmed with desperate want and need and the desire to have food in my mouth, chew, swallow.

It took years to finally get some control back. I was heavier than ever before. My breaking point this time was that I was going to live in Japan as a teacher. *I was not going to be the fat weeaboo western stereotype.* I used low-carb again, but I started counting calories. Having a reasonable deficit. Working out. I managed to lose a good chunk of weight before Japan, and lost a lot more while I lived there. Japan makes you very self-conscious... pretty much every single woman you see on the street is thinspiration. I was desperate - *desperate* - not to gain weight again. Every now and then, when I felt I ate too much, I'd make myself throw up. I rationalized it, somehow.

When I left Japan, the purging continued. I still counted calories, still trying to lose, but I would binge-purge on the weekends. After a binge-purge weekend, I'd get on the scale Monday morning wondering whether I had 'gotten away with it'. For a while, I did. Then I stopped losing. I looked in the mirror and still didn't see the body I used to have in university. Even though I was only a few pounds away from my lowest weight, I was so *dumpy*. So much more fat on me than last time. I started pinching myself. Slapping myself. Calling myself horrible names. You disgusting fuck. You stupid fucking child. Spoiled fucking brat.

I still can't believe I've only recent realized I have disordered eating...

That brings me to today. I'm only a few pounds from my original goal weight (from those halcyon university days) but I am so. much. fatter. I don't know anymore whether it's because I actually have more fat than muscle this time around, or if my self-perception has become so skewed. I don't own any photos of myself from that 'before' time, if you can believe it.

I'm still using extreme methods to lose weight. I do keto now, not low-carb. I used to eat 1200/day but now I've restricted to 850 - all in one meal, in the morning before work. I use magnesium every day as a mild laxative. I don't say all the nasty things to myself that I used to, but when I pass by the fruit bowl in the office I'll say to myself quite matter-of-factly, "you're too much of a piggy for that". I'm three weeks free of binging/purging.

I tell myself that, once I look the way I want to look, I'll gradually increase my calories to my TDEE and maintain. I don't know when that will be.

I know what I'm doing isn't healthy, but I'm so fed up with my body. My body is going to do what I want it to do or so help me I will **force it**. It's fucked up, but I can't let go.

Not yet.

There's a little voice inside my head that says, "I thought you were smarter than this..."

There is nothing worse than dating.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 17 19:31:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t8r7s/there_is_nothing_worse_than_dating/
---
[deleted]

[Help] My parents and SO are noticing....
/u/whyhelloothere [5'3.5"|123.4 |21.79 |-18 |F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 19:13:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t8ozu/my_parents_and_so_are_noticing/
---
As I say in the title my parents and SO have started to notice how little I'm eating, i'm finding it really annoying and intrusive. My partner having gone so far to threaten to leave me if I keep on restricting. So my question is how do I make it look as If i'm eating normally when I'm still restricting myself?.

Thanks guys!.

My parents and partner are noticing....
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 17 18:53:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t8mcy/my_parents_and_partner_are_noticing/
---
[removed]

[Goal] This is what being a broke college student has done to me.
/u/Ihatemybodyhelpme [5'5ft| 95lb |16bmi | f]
Created: Tue Nov 17 17:46:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t8djx/this_is_what_being_a_broke_college_student_has/
---
http://imgur.com/wlLLBad

[Discussion] Went through my old photos...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 17 17:42:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t8cvv/went_through_my_old_photos/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Should I maintain or lose more?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 17 15:20:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t7s6u/should_i_maintain_or_lose_more/
---
http://i.imgur.com/L3hMq3L.jpg

[Help] Help When You Can't Stop?
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 12:48:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t74o2/help_when_you_cant_stop/
---
Sometimes when I start a binge, I'm literally crying. I'm not even hungry, I'm yelling at myself in my mind to stop, sometimes I say it out loud if I'm alone and telling myself to stop but it's like my body is on autopilot making food and eating it. Does anyone else do this / have advice for how they deal with the food-trance?

[Discussion] Does anyone find that they buy more when restricting?
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 11:41:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t6tuf/does_anyone_find_that_they_buy_more_when/
---
For some reason, whenever I restrict, I buy more and go shopping more. I tend to buy really expensive stuff as well. Is anyone the same?

I think there might be a connection between hunger for food and material hunger.

[Help] Snacks with less than 100 calories
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 10:27:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t6hu8/snacks_with_less_than_100_calories/
---
Any snacks with few calories? Less than 100.

[Thinspo] Home-Made Thinspo (sorry the quality isn't amazing)! Still working towards the ultimate goal :)
/u/Nirvair [5'11'' | 120 lbs | 16.20 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 10:22:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t6h8b/homemade_thinspo_sorry_the_quality_isnt_amazing/
---
http://i.imgur.com/esMUGrA.jpg?1

Community Survey!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 119 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 10:14:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t6fww/community_survey/
---
Hi everyone! So here is the community survey I created. It's totally anonymous, of course. Please take the time to fill it out (it shouldn't take more than ten minutes) so we can learn more about the users here!

I'll be posting the results in a few days; it should be interesting to see some statistics & feedback about this subreddit! Thanks!

http://freeonlinesurveys.com/s/AI1RMEw7

[Thinspo] Some Home-Made Thinspo (sorry the quality isn't amazing)! Still working towards the ultimate goal :)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 17 10:11:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t6fic/some_homemade_thinspo_sorry_the_quality_isnt/
---
http://imgur.com/esMUGrA

[Discussion] What are ya binge foods?
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Tue Nov 17 09:17:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t66yb/what_are_ya_binge_foods/
---
Since there's a safe foods list currently going, just curious.

In all probability, I could eat chocolate cookies til I exploded *but I won't, not ever.*

Side note: another brilliant sunny morning in Restriction Land! Coffee never tasted so good. Maybe next time you make *your* coffee, sit down, put it before you, and smell it for a second. Mmmmm.



ANYway, have a lovely day, fuckers! <3

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 17, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 17 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t64ka/daily_food_diary_november_17_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 17, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] [HELP] Exercise tips
/u/WhyRedTape [5'6 | 141lbs | 22.7 | 30lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 03:35:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t554e/help_exercise_tips/
---
Hi everyone; I've been restricting for months now, roughly 800 calories a day on a sole source diet I found. It's been great but I'm losing so little now. I'm drinking so much water as I can but I'm constantly giving in to binges, especially on weekends. I will keep my focus all week then just stuff my face over the weekend, despite how terrible it makes me feel.

Now I'm focused again I'm just not losing weight. It's taken 2 weeks to lose 4lbs and it's killing me. I'm assuming it's exercise that will help. Does anyone have any exercising tips or routines that work well?

[Discussion] safe foods
/u/edm808
Created: Tue Nov 17 02:17:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t4yqc/safe_foods/
---
what are yours? for me its oatmeal, turkey and eggwhites



[Help] Ugh, binging like mad - help me.
/u/-lightered [5'1" | 94lbs | 17.8 | -23lb | F]
Created: Tue Nov 17 01:04:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t4shi/ugh_binging_like_mad_help_me/
---
I've had an awful week, maybe two, of non-stop binging. My weight has pinged right back up - I'm ashamed to update my flair - I've gained back to 105lbs after being at 100. I'm so disappointed in myself - double digits were so close - and this weight seems to have come on really rapidly.

I don't understand my body. Despite the weight gain I can see more bones than before. My grandma who I saw a month ago said this weekend I looked thinner (which felt great, but I feel much fatter. Much too fat.) Am I retaining water? I've put on so much that some of it must be fat mass too, and I know that I've been needing the toilet for a few days... I feel so grossed out in myself.

I really want to fast, but I have so much on with my final year at uni, and also don't want to trigger any more binges. I've thought about doing 600, and not eating back exercised. But I tried for that yesterday and ended up eating 1,160 (UGH! My dad was visiting and made me go for dinner! HORRID) I just feel like my willpower and control has slipped away and I am a fat ugly demon. I don't want to leave the house because I feel disgusting but I have so much work to do. I wish I could have a cuddle, I miss my mum, everything seems too much.

Sorry, just struggling and needed a rant. Can't stop crying and I need to go in to uni and do life things and I just can't deal

[Help] When did I get so messed up?
/u/rosepurplesoup
Created: Mon Nov 16 21:14:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t44tr/when_did_i_get_so_messed_up/
---
I binged hard yesterday. I can't even think about the calories. And the day before I was forced to have some chicken and rice (yay social eating). Today I only had one shake and my vitamins. 185 calories? And I'm pretty hungry and I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep like this, but I still don't want to drink a 40 calorie broth (the only tasty one I've found... no 10 cal for me) to fill up my stomach because I'm doing so good and I need this fat roll to go away as soon as possible. When did I see 40 calories as unacceptable?

edit: I thought there was a rant flair, so I didn't put [rant] in the title. Oops.

[Help] Feeling EXTREMELY defeated, turning to all you lovely people.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 16 21:10:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t447s/feeling_extremely_defeated_turning_to_all_you/
---
Binged all weekend. See my previous post for the dirty details. Today has been awful. I drank a lot of water and 1 cup of a coffee. I also ate healthily. Not too much, but not fasting. And only healthy foods. Anyway, I have felt HORRIBLE all day. Physically, chest pains, nausea, exhaustion, headache. Mentally, very low. Anxiety, dread, hopelessness, feelings of worthlessness. I tried to think about what could make me feel this way because I HATE this feeling and I try my best to keep it under control. I noted that my "binge" all weekend was extremely sugar-based. Pastries on pastries on pastries. High sugar cakes, cookies, scones, milk, croissants, etc.

Is this feeling true sugar withdraw? I've never experienced it because perhaps I've never binged so vastly over the course of 2.5 days on so much excessive sugar. I looked up what "sugar withdraw" is online and all my symptoms are exactly described. Also, on a BED blog people discussed these symptoms post binge-day. I know what a binge "hangover" is, but this feels extreme. So do you think sugar is the culprit? Thanks so much. I can't talk to anyone about this because it requires ditching my self-controlled facade and admitting how disgustingly I binged for 3 days.

[Discussion] What makes me look up and feel that I am bigger than the moon and could probably eat it??
/u/Lemonaidelime
Created: Mon Nov 16 21:05:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t43oe/what_makes_me_look_up_and_feel_that_i_am_bigger/
---
What makes me look up and feel that I am bigger than the moon and could probably eat it??

But really, *why* do I feel so big, bigger and bigger even as the scale shows smaller and smaller numbers? They tell me in treatment its a sympom of anorexia nervosa, yes, okay, but what causes the symptom?

Do any of you know - how would I put it - like the medical or biological reason(s) for this? Why does starving seem to exacerbate it?

Knowing probably won't help me, but I'm just so damn curious.

[Discussion] [META] Weekly emotional wellbeing and support thread?
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 48.5kg (107lbs) | 16.4 | -8.5kg (19lbs) | F | 20yo]
Created: Mon Nov 16 20:05:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t3vwu/meta_weekly_emotional_wellbeing_and_support_thread/
---
Hi guys, I had an idea recently and messaged the mods about it, and they told me to post here to canvas community support. I've only been on here for a few weeks, but one of the biggest things I've noticed about the members of this sub is that we're almost all dealing with quite stressful things outside of our eating disorders. Whether it be complicated relationships, friends, university, work or other mental illnesses like depression, anxiety or OCD, we all seem to be having a rougher time emotionally and mentally than the general population. I think it would be nice for us to start a weekly emotional wellbeing / support thread where we could post about our problems or ask for advice concerning things other than our EDs.


I feel as though I can't talk about these problems in other subreddits like r/depression because of my post history. I also feel like you guys understand me better than anyone in real life, and honestly I would take your advice over some of my close friends, because they simply have no idea about this other part of me.

r/proED is honestly the most welcoming, supportive community of it's type I've ever encountered, and I'm sure many of you feel the same. I don't think we need this thread because we *haven't* been supporting each other, I just think it would be nice to be able to check in regularly and see how everyone is doing in a more structured and accessible way.

So would you support the creation of a weekly thread for emotional wellbeing? I am very open to suggestions about how this idea could be tweaked and interested in your input.

Love,
InTheGecko.

[Help] Help With Motion Sickness While Restricting?
/u/honkyt [5'4 | 113.5lbs | 19.48 | -69lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 16 19:44:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t3ta8/help_with_motion_sickness_while_restricting/
---
I get motion sick at the best of times, and have to take transit twice a day for work. When I'm heavily restricting or fasting I find it's 1000x worse. Does anyone else have ways they fight this?

[Discussion] Anyone else on here deal with misophonia?
/u/violentdancer [5'9" | 154 | 22.3 | -9 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 16 19:14:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t3p41/anyone_else_on_here_deal_with_misophonia/
---
I have been miserable for hours every day of my life so far as I can remember. If you have misophonia you know where I'm coming from. I am examining the ways in which this has affected my ED and am curious if anyone else on this sub has any experience with this and can share how they feel it has affected their ED.

As per my personal experience, misophonia caused me to pick at my food at nightly family meal times until college. During my four years at my university I managed to get down to a favorable weight as I very rarely joined others for food, mostly preferring coffee dates or late vodka-waters. I love my family but hearing the almost cavernous sound of their chewing made me lose my appetite. After I was forced into inpatient at age 22 I was trained (through my less than impressive "personal" therapist at a supposedly elite and prestigious rehab facility) to mask others' eating with a focus on my own food. This led to the extreme weight gain I have recently experienced (seriously HOW THE HELL DID I GET OVER 130). I hate this. I am tired of wanting to chop my amazing husband's or my my amazing family's heads off because they are making normal human sounds by eating or are cleaning under their nails or are scratching their arm or breathing wheezy while sleeping. I can't relax at meal times and I believe I am overeating as a result. I can't stand it. I have come to terms with the fact that I will never have a quiet meal time but I am so tired of using the distraction of my own gluttony to prevent me from focusing on the simple regular and freaking NORMAL sounds of eating of the people I love. I want them to be healthy and I don't want them to dread meal time the way I do. I don't want my issues with food and stupid mother fucking misophonia to hurt them when I shoot them involuntary dirty looks or want to slap them for eating tortilla chips.

[Discussion] Anyone else ever dated someone with an ED?
/u/Lemonaidelime
Created: Mon Nov 16 18:32:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t3jhd/anyone_else_ever_dated_someone_with_an_ed/
---
So I dated a girl (I'm a lesbian) in middle school with an ED and, though I think I def had the predisposition and was moving on a trajectory toward anorexia already, I totally picked up some specific behaviors and lenses of seeing the world from her (it didn't help that she was soooo cool sigh).

Like, some of her safe foods are mine now, like I associate them with having an ED or something? I don't know...

Damn therapists making me all introspective haha

[Thinspo] Watching KPOP dance practice videos is always amazing motivation for me
/u/tylerisalittleshit
Created: Mon Nov 16 18:04:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t3for/watching_kpop_dance_practice_videos_is_always/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O27fsGdpP-Y

[Tip] The best part of being a busy adult is...
/u/whistling_dixie [5'10" | A lot | Too High | F]
Created: Mon Nov 16 17:22:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t39qg/the_best_part_of_being_a_busy_adult_is/
---
...no one questions it when you say you don't have time to eat. No one even knows I only eat one meal a day, because I'm shut up in my office with an "out to lunch" sign on the door while I'm really working.

[Thinspo] Quick Thinspo Sketch - felt inspired during my fast
/u/Kapattak [5'7" | 125.8 | 19.53 | -16.4 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 16 16:09:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t2zh7/quick_thinspo_sketch_felt_inspired_during_my_fast/
---
http://i.imgur.com/9y0oOYE.jpg?2

[Help] Getting out when it's cold.
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Mon Nov 16 15:01:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t2pin/getting_out_when_its_cold/
---
My two favorite forms of exercise are swimming and walking/jogging.

But I'm also very cold natured. It's so difficult to go outside or to the aquatic center when I'm shivering.

Any tips on how to overcome the temperature?

[Discussion] Migraines and adderall
/u/tenenbaumber [6'0 | 215lb | 28 | -10lb | M]
Created: Mon Nov 16 14:08:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t2hcy/migraines_and_adderall/
---
So today I woke up with a *killer* migraine and so nauseous I couldn't move at all without wanting to puke.

My BF forced me to eat something and within like 10 or 15 minutes the migraine was gone and the nausea subsided.

So, fun, that was definitely from hypoglycemia and I have to go back to see my doctor about it.

On the bright side, I was recently prescribed adderall so now I can look forward to a boosted metabolism (although I wish I had vyvanse instead since that kills your appetite).

So that's my day so far. Does anyone else get migraines when they're fasting or restricting?

What do you do to deal with or prevent them?

[Help] Help me with fasting,please!
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 16 13:31:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t2bq5/help_me_with_fastingplease/
---
Hey guys! I started fasting today and i'm doing quite fine but i wonder if you could share some advice/tips you use to not feel very hungry or what kind of things i can eat/drink with little amount of calories. Thanks in advance.

[Discussion] Interesting paper on ED websites
/u/Bubblebe
Created: Mon Nov 16 11:34:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t1tmc/interesting_paper_on_ed_websites/
---
http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Jeannine_Gailey/publication/227023555_Starving_Is_the_Most_Fun_a_Girl_Can_Have_The_Pro-Ana_Subculture_as_Edgework/links/00b7d52c2e9ba8c19a000000.pdf

[Help] EC stack not working?
/u/spaghetti_enthusiast [5'4.5" | 133lbs | 22.43 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 16 10:51:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t1mxk/ec_stack_not_working/
---
So I have Bronkaid(25mg) and caffeine pills(200mg) that I've been cutting in half and taking but they don't seem to be working. I don't really feel anything in terms of appetite suppression or energy. So I upped it to taking a full dose (so half of each pill twice a day) and it still doesn't seem to affect me as much as I hoped. I actually ended up binging yesterday and two days ago even though I'd done an EC stack. It seems to work so well for all of you guys I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Should I up the dose?

[Goal] My measurement page!!!
/u/ProSin46
Created: Mon Nov 16 10:12:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t1h4a/my_measurement_page/
---
http://imgur.com/1v3i89G

[Discussion] What "healthy weight" do you look best at?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 16 09:54:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t1ein/what_healthy_weight_do_you_look_best_at/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Bummer of a Birthday
/u/cinnarolle [5'5 | 116 | 19.35 | -11 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 16 09:12:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t18fi/bummer_of_a_birthday/
---
So today is my birthday and my boyfriend is busy and my best friend doesn't feel like hanging out so I'm alone. Although it seems like my special day is going to suck fudge, I'm going to turn it into an opportunity. Only coffee, no eating, and biking around town to explore. Hell, I might even get boobie piercings, who knows. I'm going to do whatever the hell I feel like doing today.

I'm remaining positive and happy that at least I don't have to be force fed disgusting cake.

Do you guys have any similar experiences with people forgetting you exist on an important day? Do you take it as an opportunity to speed up your body progression or do you end up stuffing your face, like I usually do?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 16, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 16 09:02:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t1724/daily_food_diary_november_16_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 16, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] Monday morning thinspo
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 16 08:58:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t16jj/monday_morning_thinspo/
---
http://m.imgur.com/a/f3La9

[Thinspo] Little Monday morning thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 16 08:49:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t15ap/little_monday_morning_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/wk1D206

[Thinspo] More home-made thinspo!
/u/DivingRightIn
Created: Mon Nov 16 08:48:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t155j/more_homemade_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/rtk0s4c

[Thinspo] Fashion blog with subliminal thinspiration (more in comments)
/u/_marienbad [5'5" | 129 | 21 | 21 lbs | f]
Created: Mon Nov 16 07:13:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t0tj0/fashion_blog_with_subliminal_thinspiration_more/
---
http://www.bellouis.com/blog/

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! November 16, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 16 05:02:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t0gv1/weekly_stats_update_november_16_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 16, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] done binging
/u/edm808
Created: Mon Nov 16 02:50:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3t06rs/done_binging/
---
been binge eating for a while now. to the point where the thought of food disgusts me. need tips to not eat out of habit, stress, etc.
any help greatly appreciated. I used to be so good (went months 800c or less a day, no sugar, no carbs besides oatmeal)

[Discussion] Need for control...
/u/secretskinny [5'8.5| 116 | 17.4 | -18 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 15 23:37:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3szrcp/need_for_control/
---
Hello lovelies

New here, but have been anorexic for 8 years now. I recently divorced my controlling, abusive husband and have been able to fully indulge in my restricting habits without his constant bitching about how 'bony and disgusting' I look. Since he moved out two months ago, I've dropped five pounds (down to 5'8'' and 118 lbs)and I feel so much more confident and in control of my life. I recently saw some old pictures of myself at 128 lbs and I just cannot believe I ever let myself look like such a cow. I will never, ever let anyone control me again, especially when it comes to food. Has anyone here had a similar experience?

Stay strong and have a good week dearies!







[Discussion] I'm afraid to post here. What if someone hurts themselves because of something I say?
/u/AllHailTheGremlins [5'7" | 129.5 lbs | 20.28 | -35 lbs | F 20yo]
Created: Sun Nov 15 21:23:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3szd98/im_afraid_to_post_here_what_if_someone_hurts/
---
I know this is a judgement free place and I'm not trying to break that. But one of the things that holds me back from replying or posting a lot is the thought of what if I do harm.

I know a lot of us aren't ready to change. Frankly, I don't want to either. I'm not happy with my body yet and I don't want to stop until I am. I want to make it clear that I'm not judging anyone here.

I'm just terrified of the thought that something I say could contribute to someone else hurting themselves, long term or short term. Even if I just post small encouragement to other users it still scares me. But this makes no sense because I personally love it when someone replies to me and tells me things like "good job" or "keep going!"


I'm not really sure what I wanted to get across with this post. I think I'm just venting a bit and feeling lonely because I want to talk more to people on this sub. You guys are the only ones who understand. Nobody in real life would be okay with me doing this.

I think I just want to be able to be more of a part of the community here without feeling guilty and scared.

[Discussion] What are your favorite teas?
/u/marlasinger_
Created: Sun Nov 15 21:18:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3szcp0/what_are_your_favorite_teas/
---
Not a big coffee drinker...

[Help] Does anyone know of a subreddit for before/after pics of weight loss?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Sun Nov 15 19:39:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sz0ps/does_anyone_know_of_a_subreddit_for_beforeafter/
---
Those kind of pics are one of my favourite types of inspiration. Doesn't necessarily need to be a weight loss to a teeny tiny size (but obviously if it is, that's even better).

[Discussion] Post-binge "new beginning"
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 15 18:53:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3syuvr/postbinge_new_beginning/
---
Hey everyone,

My boyfriend visited this weekend and although I've been restricting like an absolute boss, I gave in and ate like SHIT all weekend. Not only did I eat like shit with him, but I waited up until he was asleep and snuck into the kitchen at night to binge. I was definitely plagued with the, "fuck it, the weekend is ruined so i'm going to gorge myself". I woke up today with a binge "hangover" and was too depressed with myself to even drink water so I felt too weak to even get out of bed. Then I binged again today because again, "fuck it, the weekend is ruined". I had work today and just drank espresso there to keep myself alert but also kept popping deserts into my mouth and souping up my drinks with mocha, etc. I had the mentality of, "go all the way, eat everything you wouldn't normally allow yourself to." I'm sure you're all familiar with this, but I wasn't even hungry. In fact, I felt so sick all day. Just kept binging though. Now I'm home, finally drinking hot tea & looking forward to a new start tomorrow.

Back to clean, controlled, happy restriction.

I just wanted to get this off my chest so I don't feel so isolated and out of control all alone. I can't speak these words to ANYONE ANYWHERE besides here.

To anyone else that fucked up this weekend and feels incredibly physically bloated, horrible and mentally wrecked, I'm with you <3. New start, new day :)

<3

[Tip] Masochistic but efficient mind games. Cooking shows.
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Sun Nov 15 18:44:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sytu3/masochistic_but_efficient_mind_games_cooking_shows/
---
I watch chopped and iron chef and food network all day.

It makes me trick myself into thinking I've already had so much food that I don't need a lot when I eat.

Part of me thinks this is insane because fasting all day and watching food should be awful. But it works in reverse for me. I feel like I ate all the TV food so I can eat just 100-200 cal meals. I have no idea why this works for me.

Does anyone else do this?

Edit: I love that you guys all do this too! I feel less odd. Also cutthroat kitchen is my super fave!

[Help] Bouncing Back
/u/acronym_acronym [5' 11" | 120 lbs | 16.7 | -20lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Nov 15 17:21:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3syj34/bouncing_back/
---
Hey guys,
I ate normally for about two weeks, I hate myself. I was ano before it, but now I'm getting back at it because I realized it's what I really want. I'm hungry, and there's alot of food in the house. Does anyone have words to inspire against eating? Any phrases that elicit a reaction against eating? Thanks. Hope everyone is doing well.

[Help] Was cleaning my room and found something I wrote a year ago
/u/stupidshamelessUSA [5'5" | 104 | 17.3 | F]
Created: Sun Nov 15 17:08:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3syhcq/was_cleaning_my_room_and_found_something_i_wrote/
---
I've had disordered eating habits for about a year and a half or so. I forgot during the summer of 2014 I wrote down shit whenever I needed to rant. I stopped doing that for fear of my writings being found out. I found the journal when I cleaned my room today. Here is what I wrote:

I hate to admit it, but I think I'm developing/ have developed an eating disorder. I try to eat between 1200- 1500kcal a day and I exercise intensely for 50min/ day to get rid of any extra calories. I'm terrified of any weight gain. I've been told I'm beginning to look unhealthy, but the thought of not being able to see my ribs, spine, collar bones, cheekbones, tendons moving on my wrists terrifies me. I have to be able to put my hand around my wrist and see a gap between my fingers and my wrist. I have to be able to fit my hands around my thigh.

Some days I realize how skinny I'm getting and that I should probably eat more but I can't bring myself to eat more or cut back on exercise. I NEED TO BE THIN!!!!

But I'm beginning to suffer for it. I'm tired all the time, my hair is thinning, and I'm getting soft, downy, clear-ish hair all over my body. I'm afraid to shave because I feel that if I do I'll gain weight because the hair was there to replace the fat. I also notice my periods are getting irregular and shorter.

I know I should change. I know I should eat my fill and not feel greedy or guilty about it. But when I look at myself all I see is fat. I see it on my belly, my hips, my arms, my face, my back, my feet, my thighs, my wrists, and my hands. I need to have a thigh gap. My short term memory has gone to shit and I feel dead sometimes. I know I have a problem but I know getting help would mean getting therapy and gaining weight, neither of which I want...

When I wrote this I was 17 (almost 18) and weighed 114lbs. I was more concerned about my health then than I am now, at 19 years old and 104lbs. A full 10lbs lighter. I lost my period around 107lbs. Now, I just don't care. I almost find pleasure in the suffering.

[Discussion] Scale recommendations
/u/Icanneverremembermy
Created: Sun Nov 15 16:52:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3syf8y/scale_recommendations/
---
Not having a scale is driving me up the wall, no way to really measure my progress = insanity!!! What features do you like in your scale? Digital or old fashioned?

[Discussion] So I binged.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 15 16:18:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3syaun/so_i_binged/
---
Total cals for today is 2500

but I also had my most successful purge yet. What a fucked up thing to be proud of.

Gonna take some laxatives tonight and then fast tomorrow (as the cycle typically goes...)

Hope everyone else had a good weekend <3 Stay strong!

[Discussion] Recommendations for inspo movies?
/u/Rikicarvu [5'8" | 123.8lbs | 18.54 | -20lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 15 16:10:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sy9tc/recommendations_for_inspo_movies/
---
I've fallen off the wagon pretty hard (15lbs hard) and I think watching inspo movies would really motivate me. They don't have to centre around ED necessarily, but anything that helps you and reminds you why you want to do this. My go tos at the moment are Heathers because Winona Ryder and Black Swan because, duh.

[Discussion] I just realised, I'm not actually hungry.
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 48.5kg (107lbs) | 16.4 | -8.5kg (19lbs) | F | 20yo]
Created: Sun Nov 15 15:35:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sy57x/i_just_realised_im_not_actually_hungry/
---
I was counting down the minutes until I was next allowed to eat, and for some reason I stopped and asked myself, *are you really hungry?*

And I wasn't. At all. I wanted to eat, but not because my body needs sustenance, but because I'm used to eating regularly. It was entirely mental, and as soon as I realised that I wasn't hungry anymore. I never was.

So ask yourself, are you *really* hungry?

[Discussion] Created an account just for this sub. Hi. Here's my collarbone
/u/Shrinkinglily
Created: Sun Nov 15 14:46:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sxy7y/created_an_account_just_for_this_sub_hi_heres_my/
---
Just as a quick welcome, im 7 years ednos, been through anorexia and bulimia and somewhere I'm between now. I go to the gym 2 hours a day and eat approx 900 kcal. I weigh ~54kg and am 5'9". Revolting. Tried recovering but now just trying to get lean muscle to replace my gross fat. Here's a pic http://imgur.com/n1U6VXI




Feel free to critique me. Please.

[Discussion] What are your NSV's this week?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 15 14:33:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sxw97/what_are_your_nsvs_this_week/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Some interesting research into the absence of hunger in anorectics
/u/cathyofsiena [5'1.8" : 115lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 15 14:23:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sxuzo/some_interesting_research_into_the_absence_of/
---
http://www.livescience.com/4643-food-tastes-boring-anorexics.html

[Discussion] Pinterest Boards
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 112 | 18.8 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 15 13:42:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sxp6a/pinterest_boards/
---
Does anyone have any ED pinterest boards? I would really love to follow them. I have my own private one if anyone would like to be invited!

Edit: Thinspo or tip boards

[Discussion] Interesting things about your goal BMI
/u/cathyofsiena [5'1.8" : 115lbs]
Created: Sun Nov 15 13:05:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sxjsf/interesting_things_about_your_goal_bmi/
---
I recently worked out my goal BMI for the first time. I'd like to hit what I call the "Zavaroni constant", Lena Zavaroni's lowest weight, the lowest survivable weight I've ever heard recorded - 42lbs. That makes my goal BMI a number that somewhat plays on my interest in numerology and my suspicion of the official account of a certain event in recent history.

7.7.

I'm sure you all know the implications of the number 7. Two repeated 7s is bizarre. Two repeated 7s with punctuation in between, for a British national, recalls 7/7. I have the germ of the thought that the recent terror attacks may either have been a result of my goal weight, or that they may not have happened had I hit my goal weight. That may be irrational, but I can't shift the thought.

Are there any interesting things about your goal BMI?

[Discussion] [Rant] I can't believe I didn't check the calories.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 15 10:35:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3swyq1/rant_i_cant_believe_i_didnt_check_the_calories/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 15, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 15 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3swmji/daily_food_diary_november_15_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 15, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Gooooooood morning, fuckers!
/u/Sleepykids
Created: Sun Nov 15 08:55:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3swloa/gooooooood_morning_fuckers/
---
I feel high on restricting, this morning. Like, itā€™s been pretty bad some days lately, passing out, etc. But not todaaayyyy.

Also I <3 coffee. Why canā€™t it just have all the nutrients I need in one rich, dark cup, huh?

ANYway, hang in there.



[Discussion] Apart from starvation what's the most extreme diet you've ever been on?
/u/rex-god [5'7" | 106lbs | 16.64 | -19lbs | M]
Created: Sun Nov 15 07:29:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3swctw/apart_from_starvation_whats_the_most_extreme_diet/
---
Mine went like this:

Day 1: Fast
Day 2: Fast
Day 3: 100 calories
Day 4: 100 calories
Day 5: 200 calories
Day 6: Fast
Day 7 : 200 calories

*On fast days I drunk 8 glasses of water and 2 cups of green tea

[Discussion] Why are thighs always the last thing to start to shrink?! :(
/u/thunderbirdandspice
Created: Sun Nov 15 06:56:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sw9zm/why_are_thighs_always_the_last_thing_to_start_to/
---
http://imgur.com/l5YkvvH

Why are thighs always the last thing to start to shrink?! :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 15 06:41:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sw8pm/why_are_thighs_always_the_last_thing_to_start_to/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Alexis Ren and a fan of hers
/u/fragileboness
Created: Sun Nov 15 05:06:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sw1ks/alexis_ren_and_a_fan_of_hers/
---
http://imgur.com/HAB2yJ5

[Discussion] Any others here who's highest weight in their life was never all that high?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 14 23:22:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3svdq3/any_others_here_whos_highest_weight_in_their_life/
---
My highest weight was been less than 125lbs. 124.8lbs I think was the max I have ever been. I have never been even chubby. I have always had a flat stomach and a thigh gap, even as a child. I see myself as chubby and thin simultaneously. Being always the skinny one in a room my entire life motivates me to never gain weight. 124lbs will ALWAYS be my high weight.

[Help] Documentaries?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 14 20:24:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3suvpj/documentaries/
---
Does anybody know any good ED documentaries? There's plenty of book refs in this sub but I'd like to know some good stuff to watch. Thanks!

[Discussion] Will i ever be able to eat normally and maintain if i reach goal weight?
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Sat Nov 14 19:55:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3susn7/will_i_ever_be_able_to_eat_normally_and_maintain/
---
Im scared that im going to have to starve forever. i would almost rather recover than starve for the rest of my life. *almost*

How do you maintain anyway?

[Discussion] Any public purgers?
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 14 17:56:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3suexk/any_public_purgers/
---
When was the first time you purged in a public restroom and do you get nervous about people hearing or knowing?

[Tip] Any ideas for no scale?
/u/thishour [5'3 | 117 lbs | 20.73 | -8 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 14 15:17:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3stv3a/any_ideas_for_no_scale/
---
I moved to my own place and I am not able to afford a scale at the moment :(
Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can measure my progress in another way?
So far I've only thought of a string around my hips or arm or something along those lines but I am desperate to know my weight.

[Discussion] when you fasting and people tell you to eat
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 14 14:16:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3stn4q/when_you_fasting_and_people_tell_you_to_eat/
---
https://38.media.tumblr.com/7d8d9531b179c8990a26220d10268e95/tumblr_nr1lo74K241rp2i22o1_250.gif

[Help] This is one of those times where I know my thoughts are /so/ disordered that I need to ask others! [advice]
/u/thunderbirdandspice
Created: Sat Nov 14 12:44:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3stap0/this_is_one_of_those_times_where_i_know_my/
---
Hello lovely ladies and gentlemen!

As the title states, this is one of those times where I know my thoughts are so disordered that I can't really decipher my reality from real reality, any of y'all feel me on this?

For reference, I'm a 5'10" 130 lb female, ED for 12 years. I mainly restrict, and I never binge. I take an ECA stack of 25-50 mg ephedrine a day, and about 400 mg of caffeine daily. As I have a full time job and a part time job, as well as being a full time student, I don't have the time to exercise, so I am admittedly sedentary. I'm trying to get to my UGW of 115 for New Years.

My main issue that I wanted advice on, is that I drink all of my calories trying to stay awake! I literally despise the taste of black coffee, I really wish I didn't!! So whether it's a devilish Venti Triple Pumkin Spice Latte from Starbucks or 711 coffee with a hell of a lot of creamer, I know I'm drinking thousands of Calories. I don't eat daily, rather every other day I have dinner mainly consisting of steamed cauliflower with Sriracha or an avocado with lime on wheat toast. I know I need more food than that for my energy to stay up, but my restricting is so heavily ingrained in me that I just drink even more coffee opposed to eating another meal. I had chips and salsa yesterday and my guilt was so immense it led to a breakdown. I know this is 'disordered' for lack of a better term, but I feel like I can't form a coherent thought right now that makes any sense.
I know I need to cut back on the flavorful heavy coffees, but I feel as though I will fall asleep without them, despite the 400 of caffeine.

Any (constructive) advice for something I could substitute these coffees for? Any help is greatly appreciated! Thank you all for being so patient!

Xoxo

[Thinspo] Tiny Waist
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Sat Nov 14 12:10:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3st5z9/tiny_waist/
---
http://imgur.com/a/qPftD

[Thinspo] I miss this (when I was first restricting 10+ years ago!)
/u/thin_is_in [5'8 | 128lbs | 19.5 | f]
Created: Sat Nov 14 10:48:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ssv1s/i_miss_this_when_i_was_first_restricting_10_years/
---
http://imgur.com/7QehtNH

[Discussion] Curious about other people like to eat to make up for lack of vitamins etc
/u/WorstCunt
Created: Sat Nov 14 10:20:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ssrd0/curious_about_other_people_like_to_eat_to_make_up/
---
So I usually eat calorie mate (200kcal) for as many meals as I can now. (I'm bulimic so previously I was starving myself then purging like mad, feel drained, cave, return to go.)

Calorie mate is a Japanese thing that's like 2 sticks of shortbread and it has tons of minerals and nutrients packed in. It's designed for people who don't have time for breakfast, are dieting or need a boost for sports.

Does anyone else have certain diet foods they eat to keep their body happy without stuffing it with calories?

[Help] The breakup diet
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 14 09:08:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ssi4f/the_breakup_diet/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 14, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 14 09:02:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sshbh/daily_food_diary_november_14_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 14, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] I have to go out to eat today, tomorrow, AND Monday. I'm freaking out.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 14 08:30:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ssdbo/i_have_to_go_out_to_eat_today_tomorrow_and_monday/
---
[deleted]

Solace in ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 14 08:13:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ssbfm/solace_in_ed/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Stupid Night Eating...
/u/Kapattak [5'7" | 125.8 | 19.53 | -16.4 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 14 08:04:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ssai6/stupid_night_eating/
---
The last two days I have attempted to do a 36 hour fast, starting in the evening. And for the past two days, my fast had failed like 2 hours or even an hour before went to sleep! I didn't binge or anything, last night I ate a grapefruit and part of a pomegranate. The first fast was broken with a half a homemade granola bar.

I wasn't having hunger pangs, I didn't have insatiable cravings, its just the social pressure to eat! I currently live in a dorm, and my friends are always eating. They're not fat, but they always rally around food, or make events/social gathering food centered. Like last night, I was working on an essay and they came over to hang out, but they were stoned as fuck and had brought food to eat. This is pretty normal, however, they kept trying to push food on to me, and finally I broke and had my grapefruit to avoid being the only one not eating since I felt so ostracized.

How fucked up is that? I felt ostracized for not being gluttonous! Anyone else have similar stories or tips on how to avoid these kind of situations? Or even advice on how to better handle them? I do truly enjoy seeing my friends, I just really wish that didn't mean being around so much food constantly and being pressured to eat...

Recovery and advice
/u/plainskinny [5 | 120 | 24| 45 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 13 22:37:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sr2nu/recovery_and_advice/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] two updates
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 13 22:06:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sqzs0/two_updates/
---
so I was going to do the saltwater flush, ended up not doing it because I got a stomach flu :( also today I bough some ephedrine pills! I got 50 for 7$ so I was pleased ^-^ whats the advice on taking them? Thanks guys <3

[Discussion] purging
/u/hobosforbreakfast
Created: Fri Nov 13 21:38:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sqwvh/purging/
---
I've been purging for about 9 years now and my weight has yo-yoed from underweight to overweight multiple times since then. It's reached the point where I have no gag reflex and I have to use 4 fingers to purge. Oddly, I can now just flex my abs and purge too. I see a lot of people kneel over the toilet but I stand over it and bend at the hips. My dentist finally commented on my enamel eroding 2 years ago and I'm too scared to return since.

Anyway, what are your ways to know that it's all out? Or at least as much as possible. Part of me is tempted to weigh the food and compare it to the vomit lol.

I usually just keep going until I am only getting stomach acid but that is a tricky indicator especially if I am struggling to purge chocolate or something. Anyone who has taken any human biology knows that calories are mainly absorbed in the small intestine so I don't really get the whole "purging doesn't work" thing. If I am physically hungry and a bit weak afterwards, I take that as a positive indicator that I've gotten most of it out.

I don't know. I am just an impulsive crazy person who has to rely on purging for weight control.

Can we just talk about purging? It's such a large part of my life and I have no one to discuss it with. Thanks, guys.

How do I get a thinner waist if I'm already 7 pounds underweight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 13 20:56:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sqsj4/how_do_i_get_a_thinner_waist_if_im_already_7/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] a few thinspo pics
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 13 20:51:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sqs21/a_few_thinspo_pics/
---
http://imgur.com/a/A390Y

[CCW] Update: Binge recovery, what I did wrong, and what I'm going to change.
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 48.5kg (107lbs) | 16.4 | -8.5kg (19lbs) | F | 20yo]
Created: Fri Nov 13 16:25:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sq0gy/update_binge_recovery_what_i_did_wrong_and_what/
---
So I posted yesterday, [furious that I'd gained 3kg after a 5 day binge.](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3smfz1/why_the_fuck_have_i_gained_three_kilos/) I'm in a better place now, so I just wanted to post this publicly and explain how I'm altering my [previously](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rh52h/i_hit_49kg_108lbs_today/) very successful [diet](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rh52h/i_hit_49kg_108lbs_today/cworzmf) to prevent such mishaps in the future.

**What I did wrong:**

* I think the biggest mistake was that I binged on my diet food, rather than going to the store and buying stuff. It made the binge really hard to stop because when the separation of 'diet food' and 'binge food' was blurred, it was almost the same for me as just having binge food in the cupboard.
* I also added things to my diet food and mixed meals, such as [this recipe](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rpezt/whos_jealous_of_my_79_calorie_dessert_recipe_in/) I posted recently and was very pleased with at the time. Instead of eating the whipped cream or apple puree separately, I added them together, which made me feel like they were a single meal even though they basically had the calories of two.
* For a few days prior, I had eaten all my calories (around 300 per day) before 1pm. This made the rest of the day really hard and required a lot more willpower than if my food had been spread out.
* I ate too few calories. 300 is not enough for me, it might be for some, but I was dizzy, nauseous, immensely weak and could not focus on anything (including uni work). It made me very volatile emotionally and I would go from crying violently to feeling bouncy and happy in the span of a few hours.
* I pushed myself too hard with exercise to try to make up for the binge. I walked 40,000 steps in my tiny college dorm and completely fucked up my feet. Because of this, the next day I was totally drained and didn't want to continue making up for my binge, so I kept over-eating in order to 'forget' about the damage I'd done.


**Things I will change:**

* I am now aiming for 300-600 calories per day.
* I am going to eat 6 meals of 50-100 calories at the following times every day: 7:00AM, 9:30AM, 12:00PM, 2:30PM, 5:00PM, and 7:30PM.
* I will not mix food.
* Additionally, if I get to the end of the day and I have eaten all my meals, but the total is under 600 calories, I can eat the difference if I feel like I need to.
* I have introduced new foods that are 'safe' and intend to binge only on food I would not otherwise eat. (i.e designated binge food)
* In the event of a binge, I won't purge, or over exercise, because I feel like this demoralises me to the extent that I will continue a binge so I don't have to face the consequences. Instead, I will just try to forgive myself and gradually get back to how I normally eat.

I would be super grateful if anyone else could give me some advice moving forward, especially if you think there's something I've missed here that could fuck me up in the future.

[Tip] $1.50 off Bronkaid coupon (expires 12/13/15)
/u/legittomato [5'10 | 158lb | 22.10 | -15 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 13 15:30:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sptqe/150_off_bronkaid_coupon_expires_121315/
---
Was on coupons.com printing some stuff and I saw they have a coupon for Bronkaid. I've never used it so I'm not promoting it's use but if you do I figured you might appreciate the coupon. :)

http://afsdgb.cpns.cc/


*Note: It's on the website coupons.com which requires you to verify a phone number (via sms) if it's your first time (but you don't have to make an account or provide a name or email). You also have to download and install their "coupon printer" program. I know it seems really sketch but the program doesn't have any viruses or extra stupid stuff like tool bars or changing your homepage. I've been using the website for a few years now and haven't had any problems. Unfortunately I can't just send a PDF of the coupon because they have unique codes and while the cashier won't know it's still illegal to duplicate coupons. =/

[Thinspo] Me when i was weighing 35 kilos.
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Fri Nov 13 14:03:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sphin/me_when_i_was_weighing_35_kilos/
---
http://imgur.com/2qjYSvJ

[Thinspo] [thinspo] Vanessa Branch's sternum and clavicles
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 13 13:51:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3spfuc/thinspo_vanessa_branchs_sternum_and_clavicles/
---
http://imgur.com/a/EG13M

[Help] Dreams about weight gain and binging
/u/xwea [5'7 | -25 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 13 13:39:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3spe4o/dreams_about_weight_gain_and_binging/
---
Lately I've been having dreams about binging/weight gain. It always freaks me out and when I wake up I get super anxious about it and feel kinda angry at myself. Even though I know it's just a dream it still bothers me a lot. For the most part I try to ignore them but my anxiety tends to fixate on them, and I end up panicking over it or just worrying about it all day.

I'm curious if anyone else gets dreams like these? If so any tips for dealing with them? I usually just try to limit my calories for the day, 300 or less. I always feel uneasy and like I'm eating too much after having these dreams.

[Discussion] What would you do if a close friend or family member told you they wanted to become part of the ProEd/ProAna community?
/u/rex-god [5'7" | 106lbs | 16.64 | -19lbs | M]
Created: Fri Nov 13 13:15:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3spaoc/what_would_you_do_if_a_close_friend_or_family/
---
Would you encourage/discourage them? Give them advice or tips? Would you support their decision?

[Discussion] Inexpensive And Easy Carb Replacements?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 13 13:06:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sp9jc/inexpensive_and_easy_carb_replacements/
---
[deleted]

Input for community survey!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 119 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 13 11:04:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sorcl/input_for_community_survey/
---
Hey guys! I thought it might be interesting to do a survey of our community here. So sometime in the next couple days we'll be creating and posting one for everyone to fill out. It would be completely anonymous and pretty much just for curiosity's sake! There are some basic question that'll be asked like age/BMI/gender to get some stats on what type of users we have.

But I wanted to also get your input on the type of things you might want included! Please comment and tell me any questions you'd like to see answered or demographics you're curious about. I'm really open to suggestions, so whatever pops into your head!! Thanks!!

[Goal] [Goal] Fitting into a smaller pant size and my Thanksgiving-prep fast
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 13 10:28:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3som7i/goal_fitting_into_a_smaller_pant_size_and_my/
---
Awhile back I posted asking for advice on pants. Basically, I tried 6's on in-store at that time and they were just a bit too tight in the thigh and comfortable in the waist (whereas size 8 were comfortable in the leg and too loose in the waist). I'd been arguing with myself about exchanging the 8's I had bought for 6's but of course had so much self-doubt about losing enough weight and having none of my pants fit, blah blah blah.

I'm glad I took the advice of the sub and went with the smaller size, because I'm wearing them now! I can't wait for these to be too big, too, so I can start squeezing into size 4's, 2's, and so on... ;)

Also, yesterday I decided that I was going to liquid-fast until Thanksgiving (US). My longest fast was 72 hours, whereas this time around I'll be fasting for about 336 hours, depending on what time my family wants to eat on Thursday the 26th. I don't mind running off of water and caffeine. Eating hurts. I think the biggest challenge will be skirting around my SO because when he eats, it makes me want to eat too <3 Otherwise I just need to stay focused, stay hydrated, and stock up on Vitamin Water/Powerade Zero

Wish me luck!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 13, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 13 09:02:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3soa0b/daily_food_diary_november_13_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 13, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Finally on HRT
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Fri Nov 13 07:37:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3snyra/finally_on_hrt/
---
I finally have my prescription for testosterone. I'm filling it today. I'm so excited.

And apparently muscle is significantly easier to build on T, which just makes me so happy since muscle helps burn fat. And I'll have an excuse when people say something about my weight loss.

I'm hoping, too, for my baby face to go away. I'm just ecstatic. I've been smiling for the last two days.

[Discussion] ProED fitness?
/u/SoFetchBetch
Created: Fri Nov 13 05:50:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3snnbk/proed_fitness/
---
Do we have a thread for favorite workouts? Good stuff for beginners? Easy but effective workouts for those restricting and not trying to pass out?

I don't want to be saggy skin and bones. I want to be slender and tight. Smooth lines all over and a good waist to hip ratio. It's a big part of my goal. Plus a flat ass just doesn't look good. Let's be honest.

So hey guys, share your favorite workout moves or activities that keep your calories burning and your muscles growing. (Especially the butt, core, and arm workouts!)

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! November 13, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 13 05:02:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3snjb9/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_november_13/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for November 13, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


Is it sadistic...or maybe masochistic...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 13 04:26:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3snglr/is_it_sadisticor_maybe_masochistic/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Share thing thing you ate this week which contained the most calories and how you felt afterwards
/u/rex-god [5'7" | 106lbs | 16.64 | -19lbs | M]
Created: Fri Nov 13 03:48:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sne0a/share_thing_thing_you_ate_this_week_which/
---
Mine would be a curry which I ate after a three day fast, I felt so guilty as I wasnt even hungry at the time I just ate it because it was there- I completed a 5k run later that evening and still lost a pound so I guess it wasnt all bad

Share yours..

[Discussion] Anyone use diet supplements?
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 132lbs | BMI 20.6| Weight Lost: 13lbs | Female]
Created: Fri Nov 13 03:17:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3snbxb/anyone_use_diet_supplements/
---
Not necessarily brand name weightloss pills but fad things like raspberry ketones and green coffee extract etc.?

If so, do you think they help or are even worth the money if they do?

[CCW] New plan
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 12 23:18:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3smu6w/new_plan/
---
I need some accountability.

For the next week, until I travel and people will be watching what I eat, I will eat:

Coffee with soy milk and honey or maple

Diet cola

Pasta with eggplant and tomato


AND THAT IS ALL I GET

I am up to 124 last time I saw a scale and that is NOT ok.

[Tip] Booze is a great diet drink
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 12 22:50:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3smrnv/booze_is_a_great_diet_drink/
---
[deleted]

Totally hate myself and ruined my life
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 12 22:24:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3smp4x/totally_hate_myself_and_ruined_my_life/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Why the fuck have I gained three kilos?
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 48.5kg (107lbs) | 16.4 | -8.5kg (19lbs) | F | 20yo]
Created: Thu Nov 12 20:58:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3smfz1/why_the_fuck_have_i_gained_three_kilos/
---
This is such fucking bullshit, oh my god. I binged for what, 5 days? About 1,500 - 2,500 calories a day. My BMR at the LOWEST is 1,500, and I'm not even going to count exercise. So if I'm being pessimistic I've eaten 5,000 more calories than I've consumed. 7,700 calories are in a kg of weight, right? So worst case scenario, I shouldn't have even gained a full kilo,.

SO WHY THE FUCK HAVE I GAINED THREE??? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT???? I'm really fucking hoping this is water weight or the weight of the food still in my stomach, but I've been clean for two days now and I'm just so scared to weigh myself again in case that number hasn't changed. Fuck.

Also, lessons from the binge:

* Don't binge on your safe food, it makes it harder to go back to your normal routine

* Don't freak out and pace for 40,000 steps in your room, it will give you blisters on your feet that make it hard to walk

* Don't eat three weeks of diet food in five days, it will make you poor and is a waste of $125.00

* Always log your binge, it's the only reason I can reason my way out of completely freaking out right now.

[Help] help with dealing with my emotions?
/u/cachemire
Created: Thu Nov 12 16:34:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3slhjt/help_with_dealing_with_my_emotions/
---
hi there! i am a lurker, so sorry if my format/anything is wrong. ive been restricting and its really hard for me to deal with my relationship with food because i use it as therapy.

for example, today i have just been treated crappy by some people and i came home and I started eating a couple of cookies. how do you stay away from food when you have been having a rough day? thank you!!!

[Tip] My Measurement Book
/u/Kapattak [5'7" | 125.8 | 19.53 | -16.4 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 12 16:28:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3slgs8/my_measurement_book/
---
http://i.imgur.com/MoqqKyp.jpg?1

[Help] Fasting as a Reset Button
/u/thornygirl [5'6.5 | 132 | 21 | 20 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 12 15:49:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3slb8u/fasting_as_a_reset_button/
---
I've found myself binging the last few days really badly, despite promising myself to stop each and every time it happened. I've gone in the space of 7 days from nearly 59kg up to 63kg - nearly falling into 140lbs again, and I will not let that happen. Well, I'm putting my foot down tonight - no more. I swear it. I feel sick and angry at myself. I'm ready to get back on track.

Tomorrow will be my first day fasting 36hrs, as a kind of reset button - I've always found the best way to get back to restricting after a little while binging is to complete one day and realise how much better I feel empty than full. ;)

Does anyone have any tips? What I should avoid, what I should do? I'm going from 10 o'clock tonight to 10 o'clock Saturday morning. What should I watch out for?

Xoxo

[Thinspo] Long legs are so elegant.
/u/LittleBittyGoat [5'4 | 108 | 18.9 | -30 | Female]
Created: Thu Nov 12 15:35:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sl99u/long_legs_are_so_elegant/
---
http://imgur.com/7grpvF2

[Help] a break in routine - tips for staying on track
/u/un_done
Created: Thu Nov 12 14:04:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3skvyx/a_break_in_routine_tips_for_staying_on_track/
---
i live a little ways away from my city, and find it very easy to control my eating this way. there's no distractions, no real social life (hello dinners out and beer) and i'm on my own working from home a lot of the time. i've been doing really well this last couple of weeks (averaging 500 cal/day), but i'm the kind of person where if i slip up once, i go "fuck it" and will lose control all week. i've realised that routine and consistency is very important to my success.

this weekend i'm going into the city for an event with my friends and i'm nervous about messing up. i know there will be some alcohol involved (i don't drink when i'm at home, and hangovers almost always lead to greasy food) and probably a brunch somewhere.

it's only one night, but i need an action plan to make sure i don't mess this up. i was thinking of allowing myself a budget of 1000 calories so i don't feel like i'm missing out on all the fun (or look like a weirdo) but am still under maintenance calories. i'm also going to keep my alcohol consumption to two drinks tonight - some clear spirit with soda and lemon.

any extra tips?

thanks <3

The Great Binge-Free Leaderboard!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 119 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 12 12:23:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3skgzg/the_great_bingefree_leaderboard/
---
Here's the binge free leaderboard, in order of most days binge free to least days binge free. If you want to join, feel free. The link is on the sidebar. Just add your name to the list!

Ties are listed on the same line. If your "number of days binge free" column is not filled out by the end of the week, you will not be on the list. Some of the people listed didn't have their calories marked for the week, so their days may not have been updated from last week. If it's inaccurate, let me know! Please remember to update! :)

If you update or need a correction after this is posted, please message me and I will add you to the list or change it as necessary!

**1.** HeartshapesANDninjas - 20 days

**2.** sarahPenguin - 14 days

**3.** Loveleigh33 - 10 days

**4.** runningwithowls, infinitti, esiwirartnoC - 7 days

**5.** sunshinechild, smallprincess - 6 days

**6.** spaghetti_enthusiast - 5 days

**7.** subspacehipster, skinnywishlist, sidium_, MrFattyPants, adelexo - 4 days

**8.** radbitch666 - 3 days

**9.** somanyjellyrolls, SgtSarah, SanguineSmiles, Noroeste, LadySkywalker, Indigobeet, Caribblue, ButterflyJellyfish, BathtubApplesauce, airflowers - 2 days

**10.** vemvemvem, snail_love, Psych0candy, notoriouscarrot, melanin_42, -lightered - 1 day


Good job guys!!! Try and aim for a bigger number next week; don't get discouraged if yours isn't as high as you'd like. Always be improving! :D

[Help] Advice on Kiwi Extract?
/u/InItTLoseIt [5' 7" | 198.6 | 31.00 | -22 lbs | Femme nb]
Created: Thu Nov 12 11:32:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sk9ol/advice_on_kiwi_extract/
---
I've heard that kiwi extract can help make my stomach flatter. Does anyone know how I can best do this? Do I add it to my water or just have a certain amount straight? Nothing I've found online has any helpful info.

[Help] 20 pounds in a month?
/u/throwmyselfawayway
Created: Thu Nov 12 11:02:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sk595/20_pounds_in_a_month/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 12, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 12 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sjnxg/daily_food_diary_november_12_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 12, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Not eating until I reach my goal weight
/u/originalballooncat [5' | 100.4 | 20.65 | -18 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 12 08:45:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sjljc/not_eating_until_i_reach_my_goal_weight/
---
So recently I've regained 2.5 pounds and I had a moment of clarity. I'm pretty close to my UGW of 95, so instead of struggling with restricting and preventing binges, I'm just not going to eat until I get to 95 lbs. It seems so simple, but focusing on my UGW instead of focusing on calories seems really refreshing. I'm going to be taking my vitamins still and working out, but if any of you have seen the video of the woman who fasted for 120 days, I'm taking most of my inspiration from her. I'm sure it won't take that many days to come down 7ish pounds though :P

[Discussion] What's your short term weight goal and motivation to get there?
/u/spaghetti_enthusiast [5'4.5" | 133lbs | 22.43 | -9lbs | F]
Created: Thu Nov 12 08:18:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sjhzq/whats_your_short_term_weight_goal_and_motivation/
---
Mine is 125lbs by December which is obviously still pretty big but I think that's all I can hope to achieve right now. My biggest motivation is that I'll be seeing my boyfriend (we're in a LDR) and he's always been super fit and skinny and I don't want him to see me and think how fat I am compared to him. I was around his weight (somewhere in the 140lbs range) when I "restarted" and I want there to be at least a 15lb difference between us when we meet.

[Tip] What do 200 calories look like?
/u/rex-god [5'7" | 106lbs | 16.64 | -19lbs | M]
Created: Thu Nov 12 07:44:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sjdsv/what_do_200_calories_look_like/
---
Last night I discovered an app callee Calorific which shows you "exactly what 200 calories look like". I myself am on a 200 calorie a day diet and i often find it difficult to keep track of my calorie intake but with this app i can see exactly how much to eat. At the moment it has around about 144 different items such as bananas (about one and a half) or pancakes (almost three) or gin (hmm, looks like a finger or two). The photos are accompanied by the equivalent in weight (that gin is 2.8 ounces). Foods can be sorted alphabetically, by type or by weight. At the moment there is an extra section for ā€œfestive foodsā€ that included chocolate coins (three big ones and four small ones), pigs in a blanket (five) and iced fruitcake (one sliver, though does anyone eat fruitcake?).



[Goal] First time body shots... Unhappy but progress!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 12 05:36:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sj0j6/first_time_body_shots_unhappy_but_progress/
---
http://imgur.com/a/eGzZB

[Help] Had a horrible night and feeling out of control
/u/originalRedBull [5'5 | 104 | 17.51 | -29 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 11 23:47:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sibxv/had_a_horrible_night_and_feeling_out_of_control/
---
Hi guys, so I guess I just need to write this down somewhere. I hope this is the right place.

Tonight I found out that my second serious SO has been cheating on me for a while. And then to top it off he left me for the other girl... just poof- gone. This is following my first serious relationship which also ended because of infidelity.

I feel like I'm losing my mind. Just crying all night and being completely pathetic. On top of that, it all feels so... triggering I guess. I fucking never want to eat another bite of food. My stomach feels like it filled with lead and even the thought of food makes me want to purge.

In fact I got home and did just that for the first time in weeks. I hadn't been feeling bad about calories before this. I don't understand what is wrong with me. I can't ever fucking be good enough! For myself or my SOs apparently. I just have the worst self loathing right now.

I don't know. Has anyone else gone through something similar? How did you deal with such horrible feelings? I wish it didn't matter so much to me, but everything seems so much darker and now the only thing that matters is just reaching my goal weight. I like that tired/numb feeling way more than anything else.

Also thank you all for being such a friendly community and letting me vent somewhere. I hope you all are having a good night/day wherever you are.

[Goal] I finally reached my UGW...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 11 22:51:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3si744/i_finally_reached_my_ugw/
---
http://i.imgur.com/OTPnm8D.jpg

So I reached my UGW...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 11 22:34:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3si5ft/so_i_reached_my_ugw/
---
http://i.imgur.com/AuPIBrz.jpg

[Discussion] Restricting-related sadness. [rant]
/u/everythinghappens
Created: Wed Nov 11 20:07:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3shpa6/restrictingrelated_sadness_rant/
---
When I eat like a normal person (between 1000-1200 cals/day, ~600 net after working out) I feel on top of the world. I love my job, my friends and family, my life seems amazing and full of possibility.

But I have to restrict. I have to. I have to eat ~500 cals/day, and have a net negative after working out. I have to fast when I can. I HAVE TO. And when I do, I feel fucking terrible. Everything at work frustrates me and the littlest things make me want to cry. I don't want to talk to anyone but I feel really lonely. Everything annoys me. My body aches and I can't stop thinking about food and I get headaches but worst of all, there's this crushing, all-consuming sadness that makes me want to melt into a puddle and stay in my bed forever. The only tiny lights in my day are when I step on the scale in the morning and see that the number went down, or I realize that an article of clothing that used to be tight is now loose. But I'm too sad to even enjoy those all that much.

I know that as soon as I eat a big meal, all of those terrible feelings will go away, and I'll be happy again. Sometimes I eat just to relieve the sadness. But the next day I know I'll have to keep restricting. Why do I have to be like this? What can I do about the sadness? Why can't I just accept being a normal, healthy BMI and the happiness and love of life that come with it? Why am I striving for what I consider the perfect body if everyone in my life loves me just the way I am?

Thanks for reading, if you did read all that. Any commiserating or advice on how to feel better while still restricting would be greatly appreciated. PS - exercise does help me feel better, but I always have to do it really early in the morning and then my days just draaaagggg on.

[Discussion] Reminders
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Wed Nov 11 17:51:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sh894/reminders/
---
Inspired from a previous post.

Do you guys have things to remind you to stay on track? Jewelry, clothes, note(s), pictures, trinkets?

I have one of those thick, stretchy wrist bands they usually use for awareness merch. It's black and says "Order from Disorder." I generally keep the words on the inside so people can't see. Although it being black already makes it harder to see.

I play with it constantly and see how far down my arm it can go.

[Thinspo] This is the first time I've been able to make thinspo out of myself!
/u/DivingRightIn
Created: Wed Nov 11 16:07:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sgtd8/this_is_the_first_time_ive_been_able_to_make/
---
http://imgur.com/qPxN91v

[Discussion] Small introduction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 11 14:54:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sgiru/small_introduction/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] PLEASE take this completely anonymous pro-ana survey!!
/u/amykate38
Created: Wed Nov 11 13:22:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sg4qo/please_take_this_completely_anonymous_proana/
---
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/WLZRRC6

[Help] does anyone else here struggle with IBS?
/u/clamshells [5'7" | 115 | 18.0 | -5 | f]
Created: Wed Nov 11 13:02:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sg1r9/does_anyone_else_here_struggle_with_ibs/
---
hey there, beauties!

is anyone else here battling IBS? i have IBS-C, which basically means that i can't go #2 at all without the use of laxatives. i also get major gas bloating, which is both painful and ugly. my waist/stomach can gain up to 2-3 inches circumference overnight just from intestinal bloating. i've been this way since i was about 15 (severe stress/anxiety brought it on), and i'm almost 19 now. :(

it's so discouraging to wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and see a fat bloated stomach even if i've been on a fast. it actually makes me more prone to binge, as i often feel like i'm going to look like a whale whether i fast or not.

does anyone else have this problem? i would love to know i'm not alone in this!

Those 10 pounds
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Nov 11 12:13:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sfu7h/those_10_pounds/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Why the rubber bands on her arms?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Wed Nov 11 11:55:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sfrda/why_the_rubber_bands_on_her_arms/
---
http://i.imgur.com/ok6nAQy.png

[Discussion] Introduction
/u/ImWiredThisWay
Created: Wed Nov 11 11:20:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sfm3v/introduction/
---
I've been lurking on here on and off for a couple months. I never posted because I (1) am supposed to be in recovery and some of my friends knew my username, (2) have gained so much weight in recovery that I'm so ashamed of myself, and (3) I've been completely terrified to put myself out here. So I have created a new account, and am 36 hours into a water/coffee fast. Feeling good enough in this moment to put myself out there a little bit. So hello, thank you all for your inspiration and giving me a place to find some peace.

[Discussion] Just ED Things [rant]
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 112 | 18.8 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 11 10:58:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sfir9/just_ed_things_rant/
---
Hiding in the crowded bathroom during passing period trying to quietly open a disolveable laxitive packet without making any noise and sneaking it into your water and accidentally getting white powder everywhere, but not having anywhere to put the wrapper, and coming out of the stall feeling like everyone's staring at you and your large water bottle.

[Thinspo] SoFetchBetch's Skinny List
/u/khtfc09 [5' 7.75" | 140lbs | 21.13 | 10.6lbs | F]
Created: Wed Nov 11 09:14:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sf3di/sofetchbetchs_skinny_list/
---
https://www.reddit.com/user/khtfc09/m/skinny

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 11, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 11 09:02:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sf1sm/daily_food_diary_november_11_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 11, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] My scale must be broken
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 152 | 22.04 | -13 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 11 04:50:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3seai2/my_scale_must_be_broken/
---
Thats the only explination as to why after nearly two weeks of being close to or under 900 daily, nearly passing out 5 times making breakfast last weekend, obsessing like a crazed woman, I have gained weight.

I want to throw the scale, flip over furniture, purge everything I see.

And I was feeling so good too :/

I need a new scale, I think.

Even though i'll probably hate that one too.

I feel like this goes against the laws of science. What gives?

[Help] I don't know what to do anymore
/u/jellicoe_road [5'10" | 152.2 | 21.80 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 11 01:46:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sdy70/i_dont_know_what_to_do_anymore/
---
I'm so sorry I keep posting here but I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so sad and numb and last night I cut myself again, and I did it again tonight after I binged and purged. Now my throat hurts and my heart is pulsing and my back hurts and I just can't take it anymore. sorry for my rant I don't want attention or to waste peoples time but maybe by posting this I'll make it till the morning.

[Help] Salt Water Flush
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 10 23:34:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sdnyo/salt_water_flush/
---
gonna try it out, has anyone done it? Any tips or thoughts?

Posting a progress pic to stay motivated
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 10 22:44:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sdjbx/posting_a_progress_pic_to_stay_motivated/
---
http://imgur.com/a5Z1MOE

[Discussion] I live with my boyfriend, and he knows about my eating disorder.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 10 21:46:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sdd9v/i_live_with_my_boyfriend_and_he_knows_about_my/
---
[deleted]

I've found this today ! Meals under 290 calories that look really filling!
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Tue Nov 10 19:46:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3scyng/ive_found_this_today_meals_under_290_calories/
---
http://m.skinnyms.com/7-comfort-food-entrees-under-290-calories/

[Discussion] A Short Story
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 10 18:06:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sclxl/a_short_story/
---
[deleted]

[Help] This is me with BED
/u/brileybreid
Created: Tue Nov 10 18:03:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sclg5/this_is_me_with_bed/
---
Physical symptoms of b/p and anorexia are more noticeable and likely to occur but no one talks about how you burnt yourself putting hot food inside your mouth because you were on one binge episode, and how you can hear your jaw popping when chewing and how it is hurting because you have been chewing on a bunch of food very fast and uncontrollable and how you hurt your gums while at it. And the worst part is always your full stomach, you can't even lay down because it just hurts. And then when it's finally over you realize how disgusting you are and how you promised it wouldnt happen again, your clothes feel super tight and your face is swollen, you break out from all the carbs you ate. Your sweat smells like grease. You can't concentrate because all you think of is how much food you ate and how disgusting you look and how everyone notices too. I think of my goals and how I have pushed them so far because of bingeing and how one day of binge takes me way further from my goal and how I used to be skinnier and I am not even close to that. I feel like shit so I binge because I am not worth of anything im disgusting. I hate bingeing, my body does too. Why am I not normal?

[Thinspo] My legs in red tights
/u/clamshells [5'7" | 115 | 18.0 | -5 | f]
Created: Tue Nov 10 17:21:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3scftb/my_legs_in_red_tights/
---
http://i.imgur.com/X4OHGIN.jpg

[Thinspo] Severely Underweight Male Thinspo: Pictures of me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 10 17:07:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3scdv4/severely_underweight_male_thinspo_pictures_of_me/
---
http://imgur.com/a/aarlK

[Help] Any advice for the holiday season?
/u/rex-god [5'7" | 106lbs | 16.64 | -19lbs | M]
Created: Tue Nov 10 15:55:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sc35l/any_advice_for_the_holiday_season/
---
So the holiday season is approaching pretty fast and I was wondering if anybody had any tips on staying thin during this period? I find it very difficult to not binge daily arround this time of year as food is EVERYWHERE + I'm worried my family will catch on if they notice I'm not eating.

[Discussion] What are your go-to safe foods?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 10 15:38:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sc0qu/what_are_your_goto_safe_foods/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Any advice for the holiday season?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 10 15:33:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sbzzh/any_advice_for_the_holiday_season/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] My related subs, thinspo, diet, etc
/u/SoFetchBetch
Created: Tue Nov 10 15:08:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sbw7c/my_related_subs_thinspo_diet_etc/
---
Just wanted to share the subs I watch along with this one.

Thinspo:

/r/fashionporn

/r/fashpics

/r/aa_cups (NSFW)

/r/bikinibridge (NSFW)

/r/collarbone

/r/croptopgirls

/r/datgap (NSFW)

/r/datv
/r/fitgirls

/r/flatchests (NSFW)

/r/Nikegirls

/r/sexiestpetites (NSFW)

/r/sexytummies (NSFW)

/r/TaylorMomsen

/r/thinspo (ofc)

/r/thinspocommunity

/r/tinytits (NSFW)

/r/waif (NSFW)

/r/waisttraining


Diet:

/r/leangains

/r/lgmeals

/r/1200isplenty

/r/1200isplentyketo

/r/fasting

/r/intermittentfasting

/r/waterfasting

/r/keto

/r/mindfuleating


Reverse thinspo:

/r/fat

/r/fitshionvsfatshion

/r/fittofat

/r/holdmyfries

/r/reversethinspo

/r/thinnerbeauty

/r/loseit


Anyone have any to add? Feel free! There are also some I have that are probably risky to post but if anyone wants them, feel free to pm me.

[Thinspo] Old pics of myself that inspire me to get back on track.
/u/violentdancer [5'9" | 154 | 22.3 | -9 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 10 14:14:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sbnso/old_pics_of_myself_that_inspire_me_to_get_back_on/
---
http://imgur.com/a/c8na9

[Discussion] Books about eating disorders, self harm and depression.
/u/Hereismyusername2 [1.57 cm| 88 lbs |16.23| -22lbs | F]
Created: Tue Nov 10 13:15:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sbeih/books_about_eating_disorders_self_harm_and/
---
Hey everyone.


I have decided to do a compilation of books related to eating disorders, self harm and depression. I have read most of them. If you want the PDF of any of them you just need to ask :)
Books:


The Best Little Girl in the World- Steven Levenkron

Perfect- Natasha Friend

Life Size- Jenefer Shute

Willow- Julia Hoban

Skin- Adrienne Vrettos

Girl, Interrupted- Susanna Kaysen

Anorexia: A stranger in the family- Katie Metcalfe

THIN- Grace Bowman

Wasted- Marya Hornbacher

By the Time You Read This, Iā€™ll be Dead- Julie Anne Peters

Get Well Soon- Julie Halpern

Scars- Cheryl Rainfield

Thirteen Reasons Why- Jay Asher

Hold Still- Nina LaCaur

Wintergirls- Laurie Anderson

Impulse- Ellen Hopkins

Pushing the Limits- Katie Mcgarry

Running on Empty- Carrie Arnold

Unbearable Lightness- Portia De Rossi

Massive- Julia Bell

Empty- Christie Pettit

Skin Game- Caroline Kettlewell

Never Enough- Denise Jaden

Crazy- Amy Reed

Clean- Amy Reed

Madness- Marya Hornbacher

Try Not to Breathe- Jennifer Hubbard

Cutters Donā€™t Cry- Christine Dzidrums

I Dont Want to be Crazy- Samantha Schutz

Red Tears- Joanna Kenrick

Break- Hannah Moskowitz

Before i Die- Jenny Downham


Btw, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.

[Help] Feeling like shit, so I'm going to liquid fast.
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Tue Nov 10 12:23:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sb65u/feeling_like_shit_so_im_going_to_liquid_fast/
---
Okay so since I hit below goal weight I've been slacking on my b/p and end up just binging because I feel like I accomplished all I can. Butttt the constant binging has made me eat and eat and eat and I know I haven't really gained any more than like four pounds if that, which still sucksss, but I feel soo much fatter now. I hate it. So last night I had my last binge before my first ever fast. I'm going for a 2 day thing at least. Any tips or anything? I've tried to fast before but could only ever go until I get home from work (I work 12 hr days). I just need a little motivation!

[Help] Confused
/u/ankh_2015
Created: Tue Nov 10 11:40:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3saza9/confused/
---
So I'm going to start off by saying that I do not have an official diagnosis. What I'm wondering is if maybe I should have one.

My whole life, I have been thin. I am currently 5'7", and about 118 lbs, putting me at a BMI of 18-19. I don't think I have ever had a BMI higher than 20. For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid to put on any weight. Growth spurts were terrible because i would see the scale going up. I don't really even see myself as being thin now, despite having prominent hip bones and ribs. I see other girls and think that they're way skinnier than me.

I restrict to avoid gaining weight. I view it as a challenge sometimes. Once I haven't eaten for x number of hours, I want to keep going to see how long I can keep it up for. I crack after about 24 hours when the headache gets to me. I never binge though. I did go through a time in college after the deaths of multiple family members where I would purge along with restricting. I dropped 5 pounds that year that I later put back on.

When I look at how much I eat per day, it's rarely over 1600 calories, and almost always under 1000. In the last six months, I've lost about 5 pounds.

It wasn't until after I found this sub by following links that i realized you could function with an ED. I feel like I've always known my eating habits were different, but I didn't know how to place it. I know I don't meet the requirements for anything other than EDNOS. I just don't know if that even fits either. If anyone has any insight or anything, I would appreciate it!

[Discussion] AntiThinspo subreddit?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 10 11:03:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3satkr/antithinspo_subreddit/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Small Wins (WARNING: Possible Binge Triggers)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Nov 10 10:54:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sas1n/small_wins_warning_possible_binge_triggers/
---
[deleted]

[Help] My mind is getting the best of me and I don't know what to do.
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Tue Nov 10 09:04:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3sab8g/my_mind_is_getting_the_best_of_me_and_i_dont_know/
---
I'm down 10lbs so far and while I'm happy at that, it's obviously nowhere near my ultimate goal. But I'm experiencing some serious guilt and self doubt. I feel guilty for sinking back into this. Most of my time is spent dedicated to losing weight, but I sometimes have intrusive, sabotaging thoughts like "eating that cookie isn't unhealthy", or "you don't need to do this anymore". I'll convince myself I should be allowed to eat things I want to eat. I'm not eating a lot of food or binging when I have these thoughts, it's usually just one thing like a snack. But of course, I eat it and then feel like shit after because of what I convinced myself in the moment.

Does anyone else experience this? Any tips on how to avoid it?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 10, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 10 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3saaua/daily_food_diary_november_10_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 10, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] Finally found a mirror in which I like myself!
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Tue Nov 10 04:10:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s9dw9/finally_found_a_mirror_in_which_i_like_myself/
---
http://i.imgur.com/0o4BEc3.png

[Discussion] Thin partners
/u/cathyofsiena [5'1.8" : 115lbs]
Created: Tue Nov 10 02:50:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s97zb/thin_partners/
---
My boyfriend once (I seem to recall it was part of a joke) mentioned that he weighs 126lbs. I estimate that he must be 6'1". Today it hit me to check up his BMI. 16.6, apparently.

I'm not certain if that's accurate - he may be slightly shorter than 6'1", maybe closer to 6' - but he certainly looks as though he may be hovering around the "anorexic line". His ribs and hipbones are quite defined. He shares my naturally high cheekbones, so that's no real indicator of anything, but it really does show how light he is.

I don't use my boyfriend as thinspo, and I'm not triggered by him - for a long time, we were "helping" one another to eat more - but I would rather like to be the same BMI as he is, just because it would be another one of the many, many links between us. It would mean raising my goal weight, as there's no way my boyfriend would ever want to hit a BMI of 7.7! He'd probably die! I'm fairly certain that no adult male has been recorded surviving under a BMI of 10.

Does anyone else have a thin partner? How is your relationship dynamic when it comes to food?

[Goal] I should be more upset.
/u/TessTobias [5'5" | 122 | 19.7 | -20]
Created: Tue Nov 10 01:33:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s9222/i_should_be_more_upset/
---
Food I ate yesterday: gummy bears and hot fries. Weight lost: 2 pounds.

If I'm going to fucking restrict, I've got to go about it in a healthier way. I somehow convince myself it's okay because Christina Ricci restricted and only ate unhealthy foods to look like she did in "Black Snake Moan." Anything to put off giving up hot fries. Come on, Tess, your ulcers will thank you!

[Help] How do you best deal with fatigue/lightheadedness?
/u/flyleafet9
Created: Tue Nov 10 00:39:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s8xs2/how_do_you_best_deal_with_fatiguelightheadedness/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s8xs2/how_do_you_best_deal_with_fatiguelightheadedness/

[Discussion] Discussion: what do you consider a successful day?
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 23:04:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s8opl/discussion_what_do_you_consider_a_successful_day/
---
I'm laying in bed. My stomach is growling so loudly I can hear it. I'm shaky and having trouble concentrating. I stayed under 300 calories today.

For me, all these are signs that it was a good day, especially going to bed hungry. Feeling hungry has become this weird trophy for me.

I'd say a good day for me means:

1. Under 800 cal total not including exercise
2. Feeling hungry or at least a few hunger pangs
3. Skipping at least one meal
4. Fighting any cravings and winning

What do you call a good day?

(Can't flair on mobile so I apologize mods)

[Discussion] I feel like a failure.
/u/fckk [5'4| CW 115lbs | 19.7 | LOST 43lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 18:48:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s7ri1/i_feel_like_a_failure/
---
I restrict. I'm always hungry. If I'm not hungry, I feel out of control. Satisfaction feels like bloated failure to me, and feeling full is....mentally unmanageable. I'm skirting an underweight BMI (just barely above normal). I wish to lose 7 more pounds and I am on my way. Slowly, but surely. However, I eat 1200-1400 calories a day. So I feel like a fraud. My daily diet consists of single portions of mostly fruits, veggies, lean soups, greek yogurt, a meat, nuts, whole grains.

These are my distorted ED thoughts: "if you are going to be so fucking obsessed with this, controlled by it, do it right. if you are going to allow your mental mindstate to depend on your food intake, make it count." which means "ACTUALLY" restricting.

I am obsessing, I am hungry, I am tired. If I wasn't educated about all the harm ANA can do to a body, I'd probably let myself slip into 800> calories a day. However, at the slightest dizzy spell or blurred vision, I get anxious that I'm severely hurting my body. Which is ironic, because I wouldn't mind dying (that is a hugely oversimplified statement but I'm trying to be brief). So I eat throughout the day while still maintaining the feeling of hunger and "emptiness" and it happens to accumulate to 1200-1400.

Is there anyone else out there like this? Like me?

[Help] [help] What do you do instead of purging after a binge?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 9 16:53:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s7ay4/help_what_do_you_do_instead_of_purging_after_a/
---
I just had a small binge (for me) and I really don't want to purge, but the feeling of food in my stomach turning into fat is driving me insane.

[Discussion] Really disappointed in myself
/u/airflowers [5'6.5" | 167 |26.55| -99| F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 15:06:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s6v13/really_disappointed_in_myself/
---
It seems like the one thing I'm good at is messing things up. I've been doing so well, but last night I was thinking about the places I used to hide binge food to keep my husband from finding it, and I started checking them to make sure there was nothing there. Well there was one thing, a 18oz package of vanilla sandwich cookies. Why couldn't I have just thrown it away? Why does food have this power over me? I have thrown food away before, only to retrieve it before it got hauled away. Nope, I binged on the whole damn thing and then purged it all. What is wrong with me? I want to be strong and I want to be thin but all I can do is be a failure. That seems to be the story of my life, always sabotaging myself. I'm going to try to do better but I'm really disappointed in myself.

[Discussion] From 105lbs to 112lbs in three weeks
/u/cathyofsiena [5'1.8" : 115lbs]
Created: Mon Nov 9 14:13:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s6mkd/from_105lbs_to_112lbs_in_three_weeks/
---
Words cannot describe my frustration. I must lose this weight, with any luck at least five pounds down this week.

[Discussion] Public Service Announcement: Winter is Coming (How the hell do YOU stay warm?)
/u/crimeasforgivenby
Created: Mon Nov 9 13:58:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s6k4d/public_service_announcement_winter_is_coming_how/
---
Gloves


Hot coffee


Layers of sweaters


Sitting on the heater


etc.


But mostly I just stay cold. Sigh.


You?

[Goal] I have a long way to go. But today I noticed my ribs have started slightly peeking out!! C'mon body shrink more!
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 13:41:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s6hn0/i_have_a_long_way_to_go_but_today_i_noticed_my/
---
http://i.imgur.com/PImGXcNh.jpg

[Discussion] Shameful ED things you've done?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 9 13:22:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s6elh/shameful_ed_things_youve_done/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Looking for fast buddies
/u/Tinyzilla
Created: Mon Nov 9 12:45:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s68s1/looking_for_fast_buddies/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Hair, skin, and nails
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Mon Nov 9 12:30:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s66cm/hair_skin_and_nails/
---
I thought I'd make this thread cause we all know what a bitch ED's are when it comes to hair, skin and nails.

My skin has actually gotten slightly better cause I've been eating better food and taking care of it but my hair is suffering. I take biotin, fish oil, a prenatal vitamin and potassium. That's probably not enough but I hate taking pills. Do you guys take any vitamins/supplements?

And what are some foods that are help skin and hair? My hair falls out in handfuls literally and I don't even eat that little. I feel very healthy yet my hair has thinned out like crazy. It makes no sense but whatever.

If anyone has any good products they use or advice, do share!!

[Discussion] Eating Disorder Logic
/u/imabitch666 [5'5 | 131.2 | 21.8 | -15 |F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 11:50:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s604m/eating_disorder_logic/
---
I tell myself that because I don't actually stick my finger down my throat and make myself heave/vomit and because I just push it back up in a regurgitate-ish style, that it's not damaging to my health. I almost believe it.

[Discussion] Just a quick vent about scales
/u/caribblue [5'6 | 135.4 | 22ish | -14 | Frat princess]
Created: Mon Nov 9 11:28:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s5wlt/just_a_quick_vent_about_scales/
---
So I have to use the Infirmary at my university to weigh myself. I have to walk past the fat lady at the desk, no need to check in, downstairs, and to the women's clinic since that was the first service I used there so I'm "assigned" to it. Walk past all the waiting students. Put my backpack down, take of my shoes, put my phone on the table. Weigh myself in front of the fat nurses.

It's always 137.8, 135.6, 138.4, or 134.4. NO OTHER NUMBERS. It's been several weeks wtfffff

[Discussion] What does 'recovered' mean anyway? [An introduction]
/u/ImOkWhyDoYouAsk [5'9 | 152 | 22.04 | -13 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 10:52:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s5qw4/what_does_recovered_mean_anyway_an_introduction/
---
I was the fat kid in elementary school. (Had an abusive step-father, negligent mother, bi-polar step-mom, and depressed/alchoholic father. It would've been a miracle for me to NOT end up fucked up somehow.)

Developed bulimia in 9th grade after playing around with habits and reading 'Wasted' for the first time.(throwing out lunch, visiting ana sites...at the time just morbid curioisty.) @ 5'9, went from 185 lbs to 150 in about 3 months. got lots of compliments.

Those stopped happening at around 120 pounds.
(I had never been 'anorexic' in a classic sense. I just purged everything I ate.

Dropped out by 95 lbs. About one and a half years after I first purged. Don't really remember much after that except looking at the scale and it reading 75 lbs. That's a BMI of 11.1. Myself and everyone around me had probably accepted that I was going to die. I didn't. I'm not really sure how I got better, but I know it was slow going and the hardest thing I've ever done.

Lived the recovery dream, had kids, got married (and later divorced). Got into weight lifting. Got ridiculously healthy. Looked awesome. Felt great.

Moved in with my old flame who I never truelly lost feelings for [insert blissful relationship].

Things are good right?

Except they never were. I purged the whole time. Not often. maybe once every few months. maybe a bad week here and there. Just rarely enough so I could believe I didnt have a problem.

After my divorce, I didnt have time to workout like I was, and naturally gained weight. My BF loved it, has always told me I am beautiful. He knows about my past issues with my weight.

But it bothered me. And it's been a struggle for about a year now, to feel all my clothes getting tighter.

Then his younger sister was murdered.

Then life went to hell.

I guess thngs have gotten to damn noisy in my head. Its been 3 months and it isn't keeping us awake in tears but the sad silence of the elephant in the room is always there. I've been so busy helping him, his family, his friends, dealing with my ex, dealing with my own broken family...

I don't have time for me. I need to wait. Weight?

I guess the fasting is what did me in. Triggered me back. I forgot how nice it is when you can't focus on whats wrong because there is food and weight to think about. There is the slow emergence of hip bones.

I'm at that dangerous stage.

1. I'm 'recovered' and closer to being overweight than skinny, and I could not a few meals and lose a few pounds and no one will blink an eye. Basically, I can go unseen.

2. I'm an adult, and where as before I couldnt NOT binge / purge, restricting is easier now. I find myself restricting in a way I never did when I was younger.

And at the same time...not being noticed irritates me. I am very aware that I am slowly going crazy and being aware of it makes me feel like its a choice and that just feels really stupid.

I am on the verge of confessing to my BF every night, and I know that would essentially grind this to a hualt..
But I do not want to, and any reason I conjure up just sounds flat and illogical.

Losing weight is much slower when you aren't purging anything you swallow, and that is frustrating in its own right.

I was out of the woods for so long, years. Why am I being so stupid. Juggling loaded guns. Guns I have missed.

TL;DR: Relaspes suck.


[Discussion] I probably post too much, but last night was terrible.
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Mon Nov 9 10:15:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s5kyd/i_probably_post_too_much_but_last_night_was/
---
(TW)

I purged last night. I didn't even binge. I actually only ate a small salad for lunch and for dinner I had cauliflower, and also a salad. So anyway, I purged and some blood came out. I know I should just stop purging for good. Because every time I do I get sharp pains in my stomach, which started recently. It sucks. I wish I never started purging. If anyone is thinking about doing it you really shouldn't. My body is in more pain when I throw up than if I starve.

[Goal] Defeat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 9 09:55:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s5hqz/defeat/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Found this gem on Tumblr
/u/khtfc09 [5' 7.75" | 140lbs | 21.13 | 10.6lbs | F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 09:38:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s5f7t/found_this_gem_on_tumblr/
---
http://imgur.com/4TdJJ8q

[Discussion] Fasting tips?
/u/someplacein-between [5'5 | 107.6 lbs |18.12 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 09:13:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s5bco/fasting_tips/
---
I'm about to start a 3 day fast. I've never fasted for more than 1 day before. What can I do to keep myself from getting irritable/light headed/whatever else?

[Discussion] Accuracy of a FitBit HR, or other dataloggers?
/u/drink_your_tea [5'6.5" | 133 | 21.5 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 09:04:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s5a15/accuracy_of_a_fitbit_hr_or_other_dataloggers/
---
Hi all,

This might be a shot in the dark, but I thought I'd try anyway. Does anyone else use a datalogger to track calories burned? I know that even with a heart rate monitor, they can be inaccurate. Right now I'm relying on my FitBit HR to figure out my calorie deficit from exercise, but I don't know that I trust it. Does anyone know if it tends to over/under-estimate calories burned?

Thank you!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 09, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 9 09:02:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s59pv/daily_food_diary_november_09_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 09, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! November 09, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 9 05:03:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s4hke/weekly_stats_update_november_09_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 09, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] I just cut myself for the first time because fuck b/p
/u/jellicoe_road [5'10" | 152.2 | 21.80 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 9 02:07:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s44ew/i_just_cut_myself_for_the_first_time_because_fuck/
---
I'm really struggling right now, and I don't know what to do. I've been b/p for months and it's been getting worse every day, I did it 4 times today and again just now and I can't take it, so I cut my wrist. Just a little and there's barely any blood but still...This sounds so fucking stupid but I don't know what to do and just need someone to read this. Sorry for the rant but I'm scared.

[Discussion] Anybody else in a relapse and have huge pangs of guilt?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 9 01:03:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s3zmh/anybody_else_in_a_relapse_and_have_huge_pangs_of/
---
I've always had a fucked up body image and I started purging when I was sixteen. I kept purging until I was about 20, when I just kind of... stopped. I got into a good relationship, shit was going well at my job, and I guess I just felt happy enough to stop? I dunno. I wouldn't say that I "recovered" because I think recovering includes having a healthy self-image, but I did stop purging and restricting.

I started to relapse when I was 22 and was kind of starting restricting and purging again, but then I found out that I was pregnant, so I got myself in check for a healthy pregnancy (although I did fret about my weight and my body the entire time.)

So I gave birth to my baby. I wasn't worried about my body very much, I was in a decent mental state, and I felt that I "looked good for someone who just had a baby."

Much to my joy, without my having to do *anything*, the baby weight just melted off! Without any exercise or practicing any disordered eating habits, I found myself at 5'6" and 109 lbs.

Then... something odd happened. At the beginning of this summer, a friend of mine said that I looked too thin in kind of an accusatory "I'm worried about you" way, with a raised eyebrow. Something about that awakened something in me. I loathe the phrase "triggered" and bitches whining about triggers and trigger warnings and what not, but I'll be damned if it didn't trigger me!

Since then, I have been tripping about my weight again, obsessing about calories, and browsing all of the ED corners of the internet.

I feel sort of guilty about it. I know I could just let someone like my counselor, my boyfriend, or the friend who expressed concern know that I'm having these feelings and seek help, but the ED that was lying dormant is wide awake now and screaming at me, "fuck that! Don't tell anyone! Imagine how much better you'll look thinner!"

I was taking pictures of my thighs and midsection to assess my thinness, when I went back into my photo gallery to look at them, and it automatically opened up to a picture of my kid, and that made me feel so fucking guilty. Like, I need to be mentally and physically healthy for my child, but here I am knowing that I'm on a slippery slope and just being like "fuck it."

Does anybody feel where I'm coming from? Can we discuss some of the shame and guilt that we carry within us? Also, are there any other moms here who can empathize with that aspect?

Edit: I titled my post poorly. My question and prompt for discussion isn't just intended for those who are relapsing- it's intended for everyone. Sorry. I wish I could change the title now.

[Help] Why do I only lose fat from my upper body..?
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Sun Nov 8 23:01:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s3oxt/why_do_i_only_lose_fat_from_my_upper_body/
---
This is making me insane. I don't lose fat from my waist or legs where I need to. I don't even lose much from my boobs, I'm only losing from my upper body. I'm not underweight and have fat everywhere, yet you can see my chest bones from miles away. It looks *weird* and I won't accept it.

[Thinspo] Bonespo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 8 22:20:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s3kpq/bonespo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/WLpRa

[Discussion] when you take too many laxatives and there's *literally* nothing left in you
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 8 21:04:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s3c4e/when_you_take_too_many_laxatives_and_theres/
---
http://i.imgur.com/b6JGfsl.gifv

[Discussion] New face, decided to start posting...
/u/MrFattyPants [5' 10" | 197.4 | 27.61 | 2.4 | M]
Created: Sun Nov 8 17:07:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s2hbq/new_face_decided_to_start_posting/
---
Ok, so first off, I hope you don't mind guys here. I haven't noticed any guys here while I lurked, but I figured I'd finally drop in and join the conversations.

I've been doing horribly for some time. I tend to be on one side of the spectrum or the other, I can't seem to balance in the middle. I'll binge for a while, then I'll fast, then back and forth. There apparently is no middle ground for me. I recently decided that I need to go towards skinny full-time, which is where I've always been happy. Well, until I go towards fat...then skinny.......which is why I'm here. Hopefully I'll find the kick in the ass I need here, so I can finally stop flip-flopping.

So, here I am. I look forward to 'hanging out' with you all!

[Discussion] Nov. 8th Meals- Totaling 504 Calories
/u/paradisedeparted
Created: Sun Nov 8 16:36:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s2d6q/nov_8th_meals_totaling_504_calories/
---
[removed]

[Help] How long until my legs are thonspo-worthy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 8 14:42:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s1x8v/how_long_until_my_legs_are_thonspoworthy/
---
http://imgur.com/a/hCue5

[Discussion] Ways to prevent loose skin (i know, gross, please skip if it bugs you)
/u/smallprincess [5' | 189.6# | bmi38.9 | -22.4# | F]
Created: Sun Nov 8 13:28:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s1meg/ways_to_prevent_loose_skin_i_know_gross_please/
---
So, I'm starting this time fat. Like, whoa fat, not like 'my eating disorder is telling me I'm fat' but like, 'I wear size 16,the scale is still over 200lbs' fat. I'm working on it, hard, but of course, I am concerned about loose skin.

I have been researching a few tips to prevent/minimize loose skin. So far I've got:

-Keep protein up (hence my earlier post about protein shakes /powders)

-skin tightening creams/lotions (any recc's?)

-exercise, keep muscle mass higher

-some kind of wrapping or wearing something that keeps it tucked in (makes sense to me as gravity would not be working as hard on the skin if I'm holding it close with some thing like spanks)

Has anyone else dealt with this, any tips/tricks/recc's?

Thank you!

[CCW] I don't look my BMI (rant)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 8 12:58:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s1hzk/i_dont_look_my_bmi_rant/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Some Cake Day Thinspo and Goals [Thinspo]
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 112 | 18.8 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Sun Nov 8 09:05:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s0kx0/some_cake_day_thinspo_and_goals_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/gn67u

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 08, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 8 09:02:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s0kja/daily_food_diary_november_08_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 08, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] [help] how do i make up for a massive binge 4000+ ? :(
/u/fragileboness
Created: Sun Nov 8 06:46:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s05vf/help_how_do_i_make_up_for_a_massive_binge_4000/
---
I was doing so good this past week, I stayed under 400 each day and i was so motivated to lose weight. However, I planned that i'll allow myself a piece of cake today, since it was my sister's birthday. Unfortunately I panicked because I was offered to eat an unplanned lunch, which lead to the binge of half a pizza, 3 cake slices, chocolate, sugary soft drinks and some bits and bobs in between, like nuts and crackers. Just gross. I just mindlessly stuffed food in my mouth, and here i am, unable to breath with 2 weeks worth of food in my stomach. A disgusting carb binge. I am so afraid that I'll never be able to make up for this with restricting, and i'm not the biggest excerciser as well :( I'm gonna try to run 5 kilometers tomorrow, but that isn't going to burn off nearly enough! Please help, I feel so hopeless.

[Help] hypoglycemia (i think) and fasts?
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 97 | 19 | -18| F]
Created: Sun Nov 8 06:25:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3s03us/hypoglycemia_i_think_and_fasts/
---
I've had an ed for quite some time and done my share of fasting, never with any issues aside from feeling hungry and tired. But after attempting a 72 hr fast from friday to today, i had to break it because I woke up sweating and light headed, i nearly fainted and it went on for over an hour until i researched it and determined it was probably my blood sugar had gotten low. I ate some cookies and it went away. I feel horribly guilty now because what if i somehow imagined it and ate for no reason? and why did this happen this time and not other times i fasted? The only thing i can think of is i had to eat some watermelon to get people off my back yesterday and i've been drinking a lot more tea since i've had to stay up late to work on stuff.

does anyone know for sure whether this was hypoglycemia? and how to prevent it?

[Help] I've lurked for a while but I need some help - wtf even is that bump on the bottom of my stomach???
/u/electille [5'7 | 111 | 17.1 | f]
Created: Sun Nov 8 04:14:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rzush/ive_lurked_for_a_while_but_i_need_some_help_wtf/
---
http://imgur.com/fB6ukZY

anyone else like this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 8 02:23:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rznve/anyone_else_like_this/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Sunday morning thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Nov 7 23:59:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rze4g/sunday_morning_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/pVYhO

[Help] Some way to be constantly reminded? (Rant/ advice needed)
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|108|19.09|-30|F]
Created: Sat Nov 7 23:17:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rzav7/some_way_to_be_constantly_reminded_rant_advice/
---
I feel like I am 2 different people. During the week, I eat better and stay around 800-850 a day and can deal with the hunger. On the weekend, I binge and fuck up really bad. I feel like I lose control and I cry and cry and then the cycle repeats itself. My determination and motivation vanishes on those days. Part of me thinks I should just eat shit until I vomit and then I wont want it anymore but the other part of me does not want to eat at all. I fucking hate cookies and ice cream and bread and cheese and fat and sugar and UGH!! I cannot control a single fucking thing in my life and these binges make me feel like I cant control my eating either. I feel like a disgusting goddamn animal. I try to remind meself of my goals and look at my fat body but in the moment it does not seem to be enough. I wish I had someone to just yell at me and slap the food out of my hand. I am stuck at this stupid weight and I just want to be thinner. I need to be thinner. Even a pound less would help. I just want to go travel or leave the house or something so I cannot sit in front of the fucking fridge. I hate the weekends. I hate being at home. I hate feeling fat. I hate being so powerless. I feel so ashamed and sick with myself.

Edit: After some time to calm down, I am ready to start over and take control. Thank you everyone for being there for me!

[Discussion] Protein Powder Recc's?
/u/smallprincess [5' | 189.6# | bmi38.9 | -22.4# | F]
Created: Sat Nov 7 21:39:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rz1sa/protein_powder_reccs/
---
i need to get more protein in, and while i'm at it, it'd be cool to find something easy and fairly low-cal for breakfast.

so, anyone have protein powder recc's that are low-ish cal?

thanks.

p.s. if it can be bought on amazon (US), even better. Thanks.

[Goal] What's your weight loss goal for New Year's Eve?
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Sat Nov 7 21:24:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rz07y/whats_your_weight_loss_goal_for_new_years_eve/
---
I want to be down 15-20 lbs. How about you?

[Help] Plateau help?
/u/subspacehipster [5'5'' | 112 | 18.8 | -10lbs | F]
Created: Sat Nov 7 19:12:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rylla/plateau_help/
---
It's been two weeks and I'm not seeing a difference. At least under 1200 a day, normally close to 700, past few days with a net anywhere between -100 to 400. Why am I not losing?

[Discussion] New here, introducing myself!
/u/candidcarrot [5'6 | 116 | 18.7 | -30 | F ]
Created: Sat Nov 7 19:10:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ryld1/new_here_introducing_myself/
---
Hey, everyone! My name in Jules. I'm a long time lurker, but finally decided to join the community!

A little about me: I'm a college freshman, 19, but developed ana when I was 15 (I was 145 lb). I "recovered" to an appropriate weight nearing 105, but over the past two years it increased to 123. Over the past year, I dropped to 109 again, but have put on to 116 since college has began. I would like to be my ideal again-- 108. Something about 108.6 is so appealing to me, but I know fluctuation can't have it remain there all the time. Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone and being in on the community! Cheers to positivity and achieving goals! :)

[Discussion] Whats your worst binge food?
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 7 17:28:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ry98g/whats_your_worst_binge_food/
---
What makes you cave usually? I usually binge on Haagen Dazs ice cream or some sort of salty chip (doritos usually)

[Discussion] Different Kinds of Hunger
/u/smallprincess [5' | 189.6# | bmi38.9 | -22.4# | F]
Created: Sat Nov 7 12:42:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rx71a/different_kinds_of_hunger/
---
There's the stomach hunger, like an empty feeling, kinda pleasant actually.

There's the growling hunger, where your stomach feels like it's clenching, grasping. This usually happens for me if I eat, but only like a bite or two, like my stomach is trying to get me to eat the rest of whatever. Throwing out the rest of the food helps.

Then there's the insidious head hunger. It's like where your head starts thinking about food, what you have available, your feet start walking to the kitchen without you really wanting to. This one is tricky.

What other kinds/experiences do u have with hunger?

[Thinspo] Not enough thinspo posted lately... here to remedy that <3
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 122 | 20.54 | -34 | F]
Created: Sat Nov 7 09:09:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rwe3g/not_enough_thinspo_posted_lately_here_to_remedy/
---
http://imgur.com/a/49AXB

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 07, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Nov 7 09:02:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rwd9d/daily_food_diary_november_07_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 07, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] 32-23-24
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Sat Nov 7 01:01:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rv9wo/322324/
---
http://i.imgur.com/wP24zq3.png

[Discussion] Took 'before' Pictures...that was a wake-up call
/u/smallprincess [5' | 189.6# | bmi38.9 | -22.4# | F]
Created: Sat Nov 7 00:39:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rv8cs/took_before_picturesthat_was_a_wakeup_call/
---
i've already lost like 7lbs, but i had my ex over, so i had him take some nude 'before' pictures, so that when i loose, i have something to look back on.

Seriously, i look like some of the 'reverse thinspo' on here. i can lie to myself with a mirror, but looking at these pictures is hard. i can't believe i did this to myself. i'm so disgusted.

for reference, i'm 205lbs now, at only 5feet tall. short, and fat (at my lowest, i was 117, but that was quite a few years ago).

it has to stop, i need to loose.

i'm not eating till dinner on saturday, and i'm making vegan mac&cheese (the sauce is made out of veggies and cashews, never made it before, seems like it might be ok, if it's not, oh well, then i'll eat less of it). i might fast all day sunday.

i just need this to be gone, i need to not look like this, i need to be able to look at myself.

[Discussion] Does anyone else pay attention to their body instead of the scale?
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Fri Nov 6 22:42:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ruyjn/does_anyone_else_pay_attention_to_their_body/
---
Title might be worded kind of funny. But I like to look at my body instead of weighing myself every day. I don't like obsessing over numbers. I look at my tummy in the mirror. It's weird. I can tell when I look fatter after a binge or a bad eating day. And I can tell just by looking at myself when I've eaten well. I weigh myself maybe once every two months. I know that sounds crazy, but I've never liked the scale.

I also have no clue how much I weigh. I might weigh myself tomorrow morning since it's been a while. I might have lost weight. I feel maybe 105.

[Discussion] Is anyone else already dreading Thanksgiving?
/u/riverrice [5'7| 115 | 18.01| -5 lbs| female]
Created: Fri Nov 6 21:45:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rusvo/is_anyone_else_already_dreading_thanksgiving/
---
This year I'm spending Thanksgiving at my SO's parents house. While my SO is supportive of my restricting, I know it will be difficult to avoid eating his mother's cooking. :( She's a wonderful cook, but not knowing what's going into my food really bothers me and I don't feel comfortable enough with her yet to approach her about the ingredients. I love prepacked foods or weighing/measuring out my food to know exactly what I'm eating. It's a sense of control that keeps me from being anxious.

My SO has told his mom that I'm eating very healthy and I might be able to get away with some salads at dinner, but not on Thanksgiving itself. I'll probably fast all day beforehand.

I feel silly already stressing about Thanksgiving. haha What's Thanksgiving like for you?

[Discussion] How many calories do you eat a day?
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Fri Nov 6 20:33:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rul7w/how_many_calories_do_you_eat_a_day/
---
As in what's your maximum amount. (I try to aim for 700)

And how often do you binge..

[Help] What's the most you've lost in 2 weeks?
/u/mcgonigle43 [5'5 | CW:130 | GW: 110 | 21.89 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 6 19:56:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ruh27/whats_the_most_youve_lost_in_2_weeks/
---
I've had a really hard time restricting lately and have been in a bad binge/restrict cycle and haven't made any progress :/, but I really want to lose about 5-10 lbs in about 2 1/2 weeks and fit into my favorite pair of jeans that fit this time last year :(. I've never really monitored weight, I've always just monitored by the way my clothes fit and by appearance, so I'm not sure if this is do-able. What have been your experiences?

PS I'm about 130 and 5'5

[Discussion] Mirrors?
/u/DivingRightIn
Created: Fri Nov 6 19:51:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rugl4/mirrors/
---
I just feel the need to ask others if they have a complicated relationship with the mirror as well.

I hate to look in the mirror... I look disgusting and fat and ugly... and yet I always look in the mirror. In fact I spend a good deal of time looking in the mirror.
I've spend an hour just sitting in front of a mirror staring at myself and crying before.

And I take every chance I can to look at myself... like I will look in windows at myself and it makes me miserable...

[Goal] No longer obese!
/u/airflowers [5'6.5" | 167 |26.55| -99| F]
Created: Fri Nov 6 19:43:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rufp9/no_longer_obese/
---
It has been two days in a row that my BMI has been below 30 so I guess it's really true than I am finally out of the obese range. I still have a long way to go to reach my ultimate goal but I wasn't sure I could make it to this point. Reading your posts has really helped, and I want to thank all of you for your support and encouragement. <3

[Help] Binging Mindset
/u/athousandyearsormore
Created: Fri Nov 6 15:10:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rtgy2/binging_mindset/
---
I am in the middle of a binge right now. I feel so stupid because I know I'm doing harm, I know it's not worth it, and at this point I just feel sick and bloated and awful but a part of me thinks that if I just. Keep. Eating. that some piece of food will reverse all of that, make me feel good again. I can't even do my usual binge avoidance thing (run a mile) right now because of the time. Uggggh. Does anyone else feel this way during a binge? What do you do to stop? I thought I was over this, this is my worst relapse into binging for a while. DX

[Discussion] Has anyone visited /r/1200isplenty??
/u/kait989 [178cm | 118lbs | 17.04 | -57lbs| F]
Created: Fri Nov 6 14:23:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rtabi/has_anyone_visited_r1200isplenty/
---
A sub where people stick to 1200 cals or less a day.

I truely enjoy this sub for creative meals that look heavy but are very low cal.

[Help] Restricting and studying- struggling to focus
/u/zelska
Created: Fri Nov 6 13:35:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rt382/restricting_and_studying_struggling_to_focus/
---
Hi there!

I'm currently restricting to somewhere between 100-600 calories per day depending on what I'm doing. No purging.

Only thing is, I'm a uni student on an extremely demanding course and I spent most of my free time writing essays and reading. Because I'm so busy it's easy to avoid cravings which is an upside I suppose.

However, I've been feeling quite weak and struggling to concentrate while I'm working, especially in the evenings (when I do most of my work!). Caffeine actually makes it worse, but then it's always disagreed with me so that's nothing new.

Any tips for studying while restricting?

[Discussion] Good Afternoon, intro
/u/smallprincess [5' | 189.6# | bmi38.9 | -22.4# | F]
Created: Fri Nov 6 12:31:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rstff/good_afternoon_intro/
---
Hello, I'm new here.

I've barely thought about ed for years, but finally something just clicked and it all came rushing back, so I went looking for a place online like I used to visit, and hello, you're here.

I've been trying to be 'healthy', but it wasn't working, it's too hard, so I just ate like a normal person, and I've gotten terribly fat. Then about a month ago realized things had to change. So I started counting calories again. Not even two weeks into counting calories, and I'm not just counting, I'm restricting. I feel in control again. I love it. I can't believe I gave this up and got fat.

I have a long ways to go. Disgustingly long. But I see a path laid out before me, I see hope and light.

I know I will have some small measure of happiness at goal. As much as I know I'm miserable now.

I have the unfortunate (for me) situation of placing a high value on sex, attention, and what others think of me. Since I've been fat I've lost all of that. The only people who want to have sex with me are people who I am not attracted to, no one pays attention to me (especially not romantically). I can't live like this, I need validation constantly, and I've driven it away with my fatness. People used to want me.

I hope I can hang out here, it seems like a nice community.

Thanks for reading.

[Discussion] Hi! New here and already in love
/u/imabitch666 [5'5 | 131.2 | 21.8 | -15 |F]
Created: Fri Nov 6 12:28:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rst0q/hi_new_here_and_already_in_love/
---
Hey everyone! I just found this sub. Haven't been super active on reddit since they got rid of r/fatpeoplehate. That was my place to go to focus on weight loss, why I want to be thin, and to motivate me to say no to that last piece of pizza! It's nice to meet you all.

[Help] Routine Change rant/help.
/u/Panda_Melody
Created: Fri Nov 6 12:07:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rspuz/routine_change_ranthelp/
---
Hey guys! So currently, I work days at my job. On dec 18th I will be switching to the night shift. Currently my routine is that I fast on days I work, and as much as i can on days im off but theres usualy someone there who im expected to eat a meal with.


I work 7-7 days and im switching to 7-7 nights. 3 days a week. I take aderall so staying awake isnt a problem for me.


Does anyone here work nights? How did you adjust to the scheduel?

I think this will make it easier for me to hide my ED cause ill always have the excuse that im tired and just sleep through meals.


Any other advice is very much welcome.

[Help] I have to go into inpatient
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 6 10:59:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rsfiq/i_have_to_go_into_inpatient/
---
I'm an idiot, and it's my fault I'm at this point. There's basically no way around it. I have to go to an inpatient program. I refuse to gain though. I'm so scared of what they're going to make me do.

But I've come SO far and I'm kind of satisfied with my body most days. I *refuse* to gain. I may use this subreddit as a support while I'm there, if you guys are around, if it's okay.

I'm so scared. Wish me luck.

[Help] Damn it...tendinitis
/u/cwinch [6'1''|196 | 25.07 | 71lbs | M]
Created: Fri Nov 6 10:50:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rse6x/damn_ittendinitis/
---
I was doing so well. Those morning 5ks were killing my fat off as fast as possible. Upper abdominal definition was there. And then tendinitis because I did too many calf-raises with too much weight. I run on it for a week thinking it will get better, then today I had to stop a mile into the run and limp home.

Figuring out how to do cardio and let this damn thing heal is going kill me.

[Thinspo] This is my type of Anti-thinspo.
/u/legittomato [5'10 | 158lb | 22.10 | -15 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 6 10:27:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rsas7/this_is_my_type_of_antithinspo/
---
http://surgiu.com.br/imagem/noticias/t8/184691/d9820baf8cbd7ddda8b9214d9745a7ea.jpg

[Discussion] My scale is broken!!
/u/NetflixOrRehab [5'4" | 117lbs :( | 17.2 | F]
Created: Fri Nov 6 10:27:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rsao6/my_scale_is_broken/
---
I feel really weird because my scale is broken so i cant check my weight. Shit. Any suggestions for how i should use the time until i get a new one?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 06, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 6 09:02:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rry0k/daily_food_diary_november_06_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 06, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] Still losing weight...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 6 09:02:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rrxy2/still_losing_weight/
---
I've lost about eight pounds in the last couple of weeks, or so the scale says. I'm 5'4, went from 123 to 114.8 when I weighed this morning .I'm really excited, but when I look in the mirror I feel like I don't see much change. I was at 110 last March when my bf and I started dating, so that's my loose goal. I guess I put all of the weight on around my hips, upper thighs, and butt, because I feel like I look like I have a tire around me in that area. But like I said, when I look at myself, it seems like I haven't lost an inch around there. Does it take longer for weight to shed from that area, or am I crazy, or both?


I guess the only way to tell is to start measuring.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! November 06, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Nov 6 05:02:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rr5y8/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_november_06/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for November 06, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Bored, drunk, depressed, tired, and awake.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Nov 6 02:32:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rqumn/bored_drunk_depressed_tired_and_awake/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Book about eating disorders
/u/_marienbad [5'5" | 129 | 21 | 21 lbs | f]
Created: Fri Nov 6 01:56:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rqruv/book_about_eating_disorders/
---
I am writing a book about a girl with depression, schizophrenia, and anorexia and am wondering if you all would be interested in reading the first couple of chapters and letting me know what you think. I haven't gotten to the part where she develops anorexia, but want to document the process of her becoming disordered. I would like to know if you find it interesting so far, if I should continue telling the story, or if I should change the plot. In this part she does begin to show issues with her eating patterns, but the mental illness develops first. If you get bored and quit reading, let me know that too. I appreciate anything you think, candidly! Thanks so much. It's unedited, fyi, and you can read it here: http://originalprivacypolicy.tumblr.com/post/132655320785/the-worst-side-is-the-first-side-believe-the

why dont you just eat a hamburger?
/u/douchegordijn1
Created: Fri Nov 6 00:44:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rqmjt/why_dont_you_just_eat_a_hamburger/
---
https://philipstanfielddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/hamburger.jpg

[Discussion] Do you ever binge on purpose?
/u/ssattub [5'6.5''| 117.4lbs | 18.67 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 5 22:47:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rqbnn/do_you_ever_binge_on_purpose/
---
I'm losing weight but I hate eating all the time, so I just continue starving most days and binge some days, like today, to like keep my resolve. Today I made so much food. I'm a sick piggie, it is disgusting. It's like having a cheat day and taking it so far that you don't want another cheat day for a month.

I'm also going to therapy for non-ED issues. I really like my therapist. She's so supportive. I want to tell her about my ED but I wish that she would be supportive of it and coach me out of eating, not try to coach me to get more help like I know she would.

[Discussion] It's the small things...
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Thu Nov 5 22:35:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rqag5/its_the_small_things/
---
Was putting a pendant on a necklace and dropped it. Instinctively brought my thighs together so that it wouldn't fall, only to hear a soft thud on the floor. It fell through haha!

It's times like this I start wondering whether I'm as fat as I believe, but then mirrors and self-'progress' photos happen...

Do *you* have these tiny moments of self-admiration?

[Discussion] I just want to introduce myself!
/u/NetflixOrRehab [5'4" | 117lbs :( | 17.2 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 5 21:41:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rq4cr/i_just_want_to_introduce_myself/
---
Ive been lurking for a while and figured maybe you guys would accept me haha. I dont really try to lose weight, im always pretty thin. Im like 5'4" and usually between 95-105lbs. I just like seeing how calories affect me in different ways and watching the weight fluctuate. Is that cool here? Hopefully it is, you guys seem like great inspiration! Anyway, Im Madeline. Nice to meet you guys and gals!

[Help] I don't want to be healthy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 5 20:10:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rptb7/i_dont_want_to_be_healthy/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Who's jealous of my 79 calorie dessert? Recipe in comments.
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 48.5kg (107lbs) | 16.4 | -8.5kg (19lbs) | F | 20yo]
Created: Thu Nov 5 18:20:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rpezt/whos_jealous_of_my_79_calorie_dessert_recipe_in/
---
http://i.imgur.com/BDdpthA.jpg?1

[Thinspo] [anti-thinspo] When your body's only remaining option for fat storage is your head
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Thu Nov 5 17:07:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rp4tv/antithinspo_when_your_bodys_only_remaining_option/
---
http://gfycat.com/SlushyBlindGhostshrimp

[Discussion] Discussion: And it keeps getting worse, I'm being monitored so closely.
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Thu Nov 5 15:18:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3roq1x/discussion_and_it_keeps_getting_worse_im_being/
---
The scale and measuring tape have been taken away. My meals are being questioned. I'm in trouble. I refuse to purge b/c I am a singer and I can't risk my throat. So I will not go over 800 in a day.

Fuck. I guess time to double my ab routine and elliptical time.

SO wants me to eat 1000-1200 a day but I just can't. I can not. I need the power and control. It's the only way I can keep my anxieties at bay, you know? It's the one thing that no one can take from me. I just want to run away and cry and sleep and wake up and it's all gone and I can restrict in peace.

I would bet I only have a few months tops, before I'm forced to hospitalization or therapy.

[Thinspo] Model
/u/DevikaKursh
Created: Thu Nov 5 14:01:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3roeka/model/
---
http://i.imgur.com/MQ57i3Sh.jpg

model
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Nov 5 14:00:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3roeg4/model/
---
http://i.imgur.com/MQ57i3Sh.jpg

[Goal] I just need to share how HAPPY I feel today!
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Thu Nov 5 10:54:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rnlcu/i_just_need_to_share_how_happy_i_feel_today/
---
I feel like I've been stuck at 150lbs+ for three weeks even though I've been hovering soo close to entering the 140's. I did an actual happy dance when I saw this on the scale this morning! Still a long way to go but I'll be happy about the milestones on the way!

http://imgur.com/qgt5qCo

Edit: Sorry for my ugly ass feet

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 05, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Nov 5 09:02:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rn41f/daily_food_diary_november_05_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 05, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Goal] When I was 120lbs
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | 115 | 17.03 | f]
Created: Thu Nov 5 08:37:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rn0dd/when_i_was_120lbs/
---
This is by far my worst poem, but I wasn't exactly feeling great.

rain rain rain, again again again

again rain again rain a gain rain

belladonna

butterflies

feeble

flap,

trapped by

thin skeleton

silver lines.

In wind

they sway

and curl away

from cream, the curds, the weight of whey.


Eyelash-thin-lies stalked by spider eyes -

beetle matte black, like lightning flies,

that grow enormous and shine in night light.

Rain falls down my face - a gain

I'd taste like iron, nickle, dirty quarters

It would taste like... I should like to...

but I don't have a mouth - oh.

so I can't tell no-body

anything about any every thing body.

**edit, the last three lines are significantly plagiarized from a book that was posted on this sub. I forget what it was called, but if I recall I will reference it

[Discussion] Hi I just had a quick question about your throat and purging
/u/hatepickingnamesuser
Created: Wed Nov 4 20:32:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rl111/hi_i_just_had_a_quick_question_about_your_throat/
---
Hi I purged and normally I stop after I start tasting bile but I kept seeing food come out so I kept going. So now the back of my throat feels really raw. It's very uncomfortable does anyone have a remedy preferably calorie free so like no drinking honey tea. Thank you

[Discussion] Attending support groups even though you don't want to get better?
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Wed Nov 4 19:55:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rkwa7/attending_support_groups_even_though_you_dont/
---
I go to a local eating disorder support group weekly. And I feel so dirty and awful because I'm not there to get better. I like going because it feeds my ED. My obsessive mind sees it as a test and comparison.

And I feel so guilty every time I go. I make sure that any weight loss isn't noticeable because I don't want to trigger others.

Does anyone else do anything similar?

[Discussion] DAE get really fidgety?
/u/threwyourlifeaway [5' 2" | 139 | 26 | -36 | f]
Created: Wed Nov 4 17:09:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rkaa2/dae_get_really_fidgety/
---
ok so lately i have been having these sensations of itching or like a buzzing under my skin that only seems to rest when i start moving a lot - EDIT: or physically scratch/rub it. i get up during the night and move around and stretch constantly because of it. sometimes i can feel my hands or arms cramping up. i use a lot of laxatives, so im worried i might have ruined some sort of electrolyte balance or initiated a neuropathic issue. i tried to bring it up to my mom but she brushed it off. am i over reacting? has any one else experienced this?

[Thinspo] Thinspo for a lovely Wednesday
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | 154.4 | 24.10 | 6 | Female]
Created: Wed Nov 4 14:05:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rjjco/thinspo_for_a_lovely_wednesday/
---
http://imgur.com/a/zOuoz

[Discussion] Just wanted to say Hi and introduce myself.
/u/LadySkywalker [5'7'' | 154.4 | 24.10 | 6 | Female]
Created: Wed Nov 4 13:42:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rjfxj/just_wanted_to_say_hi_and_introduce_myself/
---
Hi. So, mostly I lurk here. I used to be, well I guess sick is a relative term. Anyway, in the 10+years that I've hated myself, I'm now the heaviest I've ever been and I can't stand it so, I just wanted to say hi because maybe you'll understand when I'm proud of eating only a little, or of running a lot, and just having goals I guess.

I used to be incredibly small and eat between nothing and 850calories with lots of running and fainting and clothes literally falling off me. And currently, I binge. I binge a lot. And I can't take it anymore but I don't necessarily want to be completely starving because I like running so I'm on this new quest to eat a small number of calories while actually eating. Lot's of recipes that are like 200calories ya know? Because then maybe I can be healthy and normal?

Some stats about me are:

* Height: 5'7''
* Age: 26
* HW: 160lbs
* CW: 157.4lbs
* LW: 121lbs
* GW1: 145lbs
* GW2: 140lbs
* GW3: 135lbs
* UGW: 130lbs. (I know this is a lot, but I used to maintain this weight while running a lot and it's the smallest, measurement-wise, I've ever been and I want that body again)

I'd like my measurements to go back to 35-27-38.5. I want to wear all of my pretty clothes again without crying and then avoiding all social situations.

I know that's a bit of a rant but I guess I'm just saying Hi because you all seem quite nice and I don't really have anyone else to talk to. And then, maybe I have to be responsible to somebody in terms of not bingeing.



[Discussion] Discussion: Nightmares come true, SO home 24/7 now.
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Wed Nov 4 13:14:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rjbjo/discussion_nightmares_come_true_so_home_247_now/
---
My boyfriend got an amazing new job but the offices are being renovated. He will be working from home until February. I don't start my new job until nov 17th. So that's two weeks he will see me for every meal. This is gonna be so hard. He's been on my case to eat more. He caught me calorie counting and now monitors me. He keeps asking me to eat at least 1000 but I'd rather die than go over 800 in a day. Ugh. This is gonna be really hard.

(On mobile can't flair, sorry mods! )

[Help] Stopping Sugar Addiction
/u/fearsize [5'4" | 127 | 22.23 | -2 | f]
Created: Wed Nov 4 13:00:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rj9do/stopping_sugar_addiction/
---
For the last two years, I've struggled with getting my sugar intake under control.
I don't know what to do anymore. I try to reign it in, but I end up feeling insane whenever I'm around ice cream or chocolate because it just *calls* to me and I hate it. Even when I've managed to break the craving for months, having just one sweet thing makes me want to eat a gallon of ice cream in one sitting.

The Great Binge Free Leaderboard
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 122 | 20.54 | -34 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 4 10:33:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rilsf/the_great_binge_free_leaderboard/
---
Here's the binge free leaderboard, in order of most days binge free to least days binge free. If you want to join, feel free. The link is on the sidebar.

I've listed those with ties on the same line. If your "number of days binge free" column is not filled out by the end of the week, you will not be on the list. Please remember to update! :) If you update after this is posted, please message me and I will add you to the list!

1. HeartshapesANDninjas (12)

2. airflowers (11)

3. Loveleigh33 (10)

4. runnningwithowls, sarahPenguin (7)

5. sidium_ (4)

6. Kapattak (3)

7. adelexo, BathtubApplesauce, ButterflyJellyfish, Indigobeet, rachel_oxox, SanguineSmiles, SgtSarah, snail_love, somanyjellyrolls (2)

8. 500_mile_walker, floweredfox, InTheGecko, -lightered, Noroeste, Psych0candy, ramona22 (1)

9. infinitti, Klairvoyant, p00piepie, vanthefirst, notoriouscarrot (0)

Great job everyone! Keep it up, and try for an even higher number next week!

[Discussion] Diving into fasting headfirst. My first fast and I'm going for 72 hours (3 days).
/u/sidium_ [5'7" | 172 | 26.94 | 0 | Female]
Created: Wed Nov 4 10:10:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rii3j/diving_into_fasting_headfirst_my_first_fast_and/
---
The reason why is that, I failed my 24 hour fast.

I binged last night, donuts, potato chips, and I felt disgusting. I felt fat and bloated. It was one of the worst feelings in the world. Absolutely horrible.

When I was fasting, though, I felt good. I felt like I was doing something RIGHT. I want that feeling. I want to see how long I can chase that feeling. I want to feel light, and thin.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/f94149fefaa305e8e4964d1b388383d3/tumblr_inline_n4uteiC4eP1svv673.gif

[Discussion] Rice and Tea only
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 4 09:45:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rie9y/rice_and_tea_only/
---
so I'm sick so I've managed to convince my mom that I can only stomach rice and tea today. Think I'll lose any weight? So desperate at this point but I can't get caught

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 04, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Nov 4 09:02:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ri7tw/daily_food_diary_november_04_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 04, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] What's your SO's body like?
/u/scandinaviandreams [5'11Ā½ | 167lbs | 22.9 | F]
Created: Wed Nov 4 05:59:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rhk0j/whats_your_sos_body_like/
---
Tall? Short? Skinny? Muscular? Chubby or fat? Does your SO's body affect you in any way?

My better half is 6'1 and 160lbs, so he's definitely skinnier than me, something I intend to change.

[Goal] I hit 49kg (108lbs) today.
/u/InTheGecko [172cm (5'6) | 48.5kg (107lbs) | 16.4 | -8.5kg (19lbs) | F | 20yo]
Created: Wed Nov 4 03:04:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rh52h/i_hit_49kg_108lbs_today/
---
I have nobody to celebrate with, but I'm so so happy! I hit my highest weight ever last year at ~64kgs (141lbs), so that means I've lost about 15kg (33lbs)! The past 8kgs(18lbs) I've lost have been in the past month, which I'm really proud of. I don't want to give unsolicited advice, but if you have any questions I'm happy to answer in the comments. :)

I'm not there yet though - I found an old journal recently from when I was 12, and it said my goal weight then was 37kgs(81lbs) and my starting weight was 47.8kgs(105lbs). I'm not trying to get to 37 anymore, but being thinner at 20 than I was when I was 12 is just the kind of fucked up goal I'm aiming for. :)

EDIT: Just woke up, I'm overwhelmed by the positive responses, thank you guys so much. :)

[Thinspo] Fall/Autumn Thinspo Fashion Thread
/u/SoFetchBetch
Created: Tue Nov 3 23:56:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rgq8a/fallautumn_thinspo_fashion_thread/
---
Post your fave images related to the change in season. Silhouettes in the forest, falling leaves, sweater thinspo, black minimalism, witchy, gothy, Halloween, etc etc. I'll post some that have caught my eye lately to get started. Hoping to keep this going thru November!

(Also how do I add flair on mobile?)

[Discussion] What sort of scale do you use?
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Tue Nov 3 21:24:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rg9vf/what_sort_of_scale_do_you_use/
---
Just curious as to which type/brand/model of scale you use (if any).

I currently have a digital health-o-meter from 5 years ago that I need to replace. It's the sort where you can make your personal profile (height, starting, goal weight), and it will track your progress. It measures (supposedly) water % and body fat % in addition to weight. Unfortunately, it's starting to die on me. It takes some coaxing to get it to work, and if I go by the doctor's scale it's a pound or two off.

[Discussion] Anyone find that they are more productive when restricting?
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 3 19:46:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rfx3w/anyone_find_that_they_are_more_productive_when/
---
I think restricting dulls my restlessness, so I can spend longer on homework and getting work done. Also, the reward feeling of productivity is a lot higher. Anyone find the same effect?

The one thing that restricting doesn't help on, though, is intensive thinking. I usually can't concentrate on difficult problems, but I can get busy-work done.

[Discussion] Any girl on the pill?
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 101 | 16.4| F]
Created: Tue Nov 3 19:11:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rfs3a/any_girl_on_the_pill/
---
HI!
I take the pill, and I have heard that contraceptive pills can make you gain weight and keep it. A friend of mine recently quit the pill and she lost weight, specially one bra cup ( they make your boobs bigger) . So I was thinking on leaving the pill to, anyways my boyfriend is gone back to germany, so no need for it. What are your thoughts, any expirience with this?

[Discussion] How do you prefer to measure your progress: Weight or Inches?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Tue Nov 3 12:58:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3re9co/how_do_you_prefer_to_measure_your_progress_weight/
---
Just curious how many of you actually measure the physical size loss of their body in inches (or cm)! I love measuring myself (especially my thighs) because even though I see the scale creeping down I somehow still struggle to convince myself that my body is actually changing for the better. Seeing a loss in inches kind of solidifies my confidence in my weight loss. What do you all prefer to gauge your weight by? The scale or the measuring tape?

[Discussion] Green Coffee Bean and Raspberry Keytones
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 3 11:52:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rdycc/green_coffee_bean_and_raspberry_keytones/
---
So I recently started taking green coffee bean and raspberry keytones and so far I haven't noticed anything huge other than the fact green coffee helps me stay awake (I possibly have narcolepsy I'm being tested) has anyone had any good results with these? I was looking on MPA last night and someone said they had great results... What about you guys? Any tips on when to take them or how?

[Discussion] The DSM-5 has renamed ENDOS to be OSFED ("Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder")
/u/sannaba
Created: Tue Nov 3 10:09:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rdhi2/the_dsm5_has_renamed_endos_to_be_osfed_other/
---
http://www.anad.org/get-information/about-eating-disorders/eatingdisorders-not-otherwise-specified/

[Help] Will squats help me get a nicer butt?
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Tue Nov 3 10:05:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rdgxj/will_squats_help_me_get_a_nicer_butt/
---
I'm completely flat and I would like a slightly bigger booty but in order to do that I'd need to gain muscle and I hear that's not possible if you aren't eating enough and I eat <800.

I'd really like to have a better butt... ;-;

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 03, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Nov 3 09:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rd6m8/daily_food_diary_november_03_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 03, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Help] Menstruation question:
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Tue Nov 3 07:45:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rcva6/menstruation_question/
---
TMI warning!

Due to my low weight, I haven't had my period in several months, at least since the summer. However, while I do not bleed, I still feel symptoms of both ovulation and PMS.

Is it even possible to ovulate without getting or having a period? Or could it be my brain just being confused and *thinking* "oh, normally you'd be ovulating around this time, so have these weird feelings"


[Discussion] How far is too far?
/u/deletedLink
Created: Tue Nov 3 06:48:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rcnt5/how_far_is_too_far/
---
http://i.imgur.com/zWQ13n0.png

[Help] Help with bloating and stomach cramps
/u/MakingBadDecisions [5'7" | 132lbs | BMI 20.6| Weight Lost: 13lbs | Female]
Created: Tue Nov 3 04:41:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rcbaj/help_with_bloating_and_stomach_cramps/
---
Could do with some advice. I eat once a day, a meal in the evening with my partner but through the day I drink or if I had a very light dinner, have a handful of popcorn with salt and pepper.

Now wherever I do that I get extremely bad stomach pains and bloating. I've tried not having fizzy drinks and just water but it still happens.

The pain gets so bad I can barely work or move and it makes me feel very ill (too bad I'm not a purger)

Anyone got any tips?

[Help] >10 calorie foods/drinks/sweets?
/u/SoFetchBetch
Created: Tue Nov 3 00:36:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rbs3e/10_calorie_foodsdrinkssweets/
---
Anyone have any suggestions for consumables that are less than 10 cals? I like blueberry teabags with no sugar or with monkfruit extract. Sometimes I freeze the resulting tea and then reblend it for a very low cal slushie.

I wish I knew some recipes for creamy/vanilla type stuff that are super low cal. The only thing I can think of would be vanilla ecigs. Which I plan on picking up tomorrow. Any suggestions? All flavors welcome.

[Discussion] break ups are the best diet
/u/childshair [5'7" | 108.6 | 17 | -5.4 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 2 22:19:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rbds3/break_ups_are_the_best_diet/
---
I'm down 4 lbs after three days.

[Discussion] Planning a 48 hour fast starting tonight at midnight. Anyone wanna join??
/u/lucifersbabygirl [5'5 | 155 | 24.9 | 30 lost | F]
Created: Mon Nov 2 20:15:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3raxqh/planning_a_48_hour_fast_starting_tonight_at/
---
Hey everyone! I'm starting a fast at midnight for 48 hours and was wondering if anyone would like to join me. If anyone wants to participate we can create a Kik group and keep each other updated and motivated and pull off a good fast :) Comment back if this interests anyone. Xoxo

[Discussion] Your ultimate thinspo inspiration?
/u/adelexo [5'6 | Huge | :( | 0 | F]
Created: Mon Nov 2 18:08:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3rag0p/your_ultimate_thinspo_inspiration/
---
Mine use to be Nicole Richie. I'm interested in Kate Middleton and Victoria Beckham now.

[Discussion] Hi guys...
/u/charlottevp [5'3''|138|-20lbs|F]
Created: Mon Nov 2 15:00:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r9nz1/hi_guys/
---
I've been lurking here for a few weeks now and I was kind of afraid to post here, but I really want to thank everyone who uses and contributes to this sub, it's really helpful and inspiring!

I've lost eight pounds since I've started and I can't wait to lose some more. I don't think I could have done it/do it without you guys, so keep being wonderful :-)

[Help] Livestrong Exercise Tracking?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 2 14:54:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r9myf/livestrong_exercise_tracking/
---
So I know that apps like MyFitnessPal greatly overestimate how many calories you burn while exercising. I use an app called Livestrong, which uses my iPhone daily steps to automatically deduct how many calories you burn while walking. You can also manually enter in exercises to deduct your calorie total more. I was wondering if anybody knows if Livestrong correctly estimates calories burned? Does anyone have any experience with this app? Thanks in advance!

[Help] What keeps you going? Your biggest motivation?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 2 13:43:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r9be4/what_keeps_you_going_your_biggest_motivation/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Purging is awful and I'm daydreaming about the last time I relapsed
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Mon Nov 2 12:34:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r8zzp/purging_is_awful_and_im_daydreaming_about_the/
---
So I don't purge often, but this past Friday I did. Because I ate pizza at game night. And now I have bronchitis because of it. Apparently, I let some mucous get into my lungs or something. I feel awful. Fever, cough, chest congestion and pain. A good reinforcement to avoid purging at all costs.

I've been daydreaming about the last time I relapsed. Remembering how far I got and wanting desperately to go further. I was in recovery for 3 years, and I allowed myself to balloon up. It's dreadful.

I really can't wait till I start testosterone. Supposedly, it's easier to gain muscle. And then I can blame my weight loss on hormone replacement therapy when my family gets too nosy.

I suppose 15 lbs in a month is acceptable, but I want to lose more. And faster. I make myself inclined push ups (my arms are too weak for real ones) every time I go in the kitchen, lunges down the hallway, crunches while watching YouTube videos. I feel like a joke weighing this much.

Anyone else use old photos of their low weight for inspiration?

[Thinspo] The Basic Premise of My Entire Fitness Regimen
/u/cwinch [6'1''|196 | 25.07 | 71lbs | M]
Created: Mon Nov 2 12:03:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r8uu9/the_basic_premise_of_my_entire_fitness_regimen/
---
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_HAXan1wSQ

[Discussion] Hi everyone, one quick thing...
/u/lucifersbabygirl [5'5 | 155 | 24.9 | 30 lost | F]
Created: Mon Nov 2 09:57:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r8a6b/hi_everyone_one_quick_thing/
---
Hi everyone. I'm a new subscriber to the subreddit, but I have been lurking here for months. Honestly I wanted to thank you all for the inspiration and the strength that you have given me. This subreddit is a place where I feel safe, so I finally decided to make an account and personally thank you all for being so god damned perfect.

[Thinspo] 4
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Nov 2 09:31:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r869j/4/
---
http://imgur.com/FjIsKFF

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 02, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 2 09:02:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r81p8/daily_food_diary_november_02_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 02, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! November 02, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Nov 2 05:03:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r79lh/weekly_stats_update_november_02_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for November 02, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


venting, dont mind me
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Nov 1 21:44:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r69gg/venting_dont_mind_me/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Appetite Suppressants
/u/threwyourlifeaway [5' 2" | 139 | 26 | -36 | f]
Created: Sun Nov 1 20:19:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r5zcr/appetite_suppressants/
---
i'm planning a fast and i'm wondering - other than coffee (my personal fave) what do you use to help deter appetite? i used to use cough syrup a long time ago, but i feel that is too aggressive on my personality, it really messed me up. i have heard something regarding nasal sprays? but haven't really found anything concrete yet about it :/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! November 01, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Nov 1 09:02:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r3aef/daily_food_diary_november_01_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for November 01, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] kendall jenner thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 31 20:16:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r1ele/kendall_jenner_thinspo/
---
http://i.imgur.com/XVq4wwb.jpg

[Discussion] Long time lurker, feeling bummy. No one to talk to.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 31 17:57:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r0z31/long_time_lurker_feeling_bummy_no_one_to_talk_to/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I tried to break up with boyfriend. He ate his feelings, and I couldn't go through with it.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 31 14:27:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3r07u2/i_tried_to_break_up_with_boyfriend_he_ate_his/
---
[deleted]

[Help] What the fuck
/u/JabbSmash
Created: Sat Oct 31 13:10:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qzx8y/what_the_fuck/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] It's Halloween and I want to spread some positivity!
/u/500_mile_walker [5'4" | 106 | 18.07 | 17 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 31 12:56:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qzv6m/its_halloween_and_i_want_to_spread_some_positivity/
---
Hey y'all! It's Halloween where I am, and I'm currently pretty drunk and high, so I just want to come out of lurking and do this appreciation post! (Sorry mods, if this is against any rules, feel free to delete!)


I feel like in general, us people with eating disorders get judged a lot. We are called "insecure" and "weak." And maybe we are. But in other ways we are so much stronger than other people! It takes so much self control to restrict or b/p. Yeah, we want to eat that hamburger or pizza or spaghetti just as much as everyone else. But we can stop ourselves from eating, or we head to the bathroom to purge, instead of just letting the food sit in our stomachs like other people. Why? Because we have goals of how we want to look like, and we are strong enough to do what we need to do to achieve those goals. And we're a supportive community that do nothing but encourage each other instead of tearing each other down.


I binged today because it's Halloween and I had mad munchies. BUT. It's okay. I can let it go. Because I did what I had to do and purged as much as I could. And I'm planning on a 48 hour water fast because hey, I know I can do it!


So thanks r/proed for always being there for me when I need to remind myself to take control of my choices and my life.


Whether you choose to binge or restrict tonight, have a Happy Halloween guys and gals! /end drunk happy incoherent ramble

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 31, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 31 10:02:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qz6n8/daily_food_diary_october_31_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 31, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Thinspo] Thinspo for a lazy Saturday morning
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 122 | 20.54 | -34 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 31 09:25:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qz1tg/thinspo_for_a_lazy_saturday_morning/
---
http://imgur.com/a/lzNzD

[Help] Going out with friends tonight for sushi and I'm fasting all day to make up for it, calorie wise.
/u/ProEdThrowaway
Created: Sat Oct 31 07:11:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qymv6/going_out_with_friends_tonight_for_sushi_and_im/
---
I've never gone a whole day eating nothing before because I used to be obese and all that fun stuff. Any tips to get rid of hunger pangs throughout today?

[Discussion] Looking for inspiration. What is the longest time you've kept up a water fast?
/u/Countdown2Control [5'4" | 136 | 23.8 | 40 down |FTM]
Created: Fri Oct 30 20:11:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qx58c/looking_for_inspiration_what_is_the_longest_time/
---
I'm starting one Sunday and plan to keep it for a week and I'm looking for some inspiration.


I do water fasts out of personal shame due to a massive binge *(3000+ calories)* as a sort of body "cleanse." I have BED and this is my own personal fucked up binge free competitions I have by myself.

It helps a little each time. You know, make me a little less disgusted with myself. I feel "clean" afterwords. Haha, I joke that I feel like a 10 dollar whore after a binge but I really do.
I'm feeling really down so I'm looking for some support too.


Thanks for any responses. :)

[Goal] I'm new here, but I'm stepping out for a bit.
/u/sidium_ [5'7" | 172 | 26.94 | 0 | Female]
Created: Fri Oct 30 19:37:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qx1f2/im_new_here_but_im_stepping_out_for_a_bit/
---
So I have ed-nos. So proud. -_-

Over the last month or so, I've been stressed out, and part of my ed-nos, is binge eating and feeling super-guilty about it when I'm stressed. My mom was sick and unhealthy food was SUPEREASY to access. I gained weight.

I hate myself for gaining weight.

So I decided to start restricting my calories to <500 a day.

Apparently, I'm a fucking failure at that, too. Let's just say I got failure stuck in my teeth.

I need to lose 50lbs to get me to a weight I don't hate myself at. I need to get my shit together. So, I'm going to work on a thinspo journal. I'm gonna get my ducks in a row and get my shit together before I get on here and talk like I deserve to be here.

I have the worst love/hate relationship with food. I wish I just hated it. It would be easier.

[Goal] Slowly but surely!
/u/Hamily [5'4.5" | 91 | 15.62 | -49 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 30 15:21:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qw3of/slowly_but_surely/
---
http://imgur.com/I3PSr5w

[Thinspo] Not much thinspo on the front page
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Fri Oct 30 15:11:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qw26r/not_much_thinspo_on_the_front_page/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Sa1GUki.jpg

[Thinspo] Thinspo Folder!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 119 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 30 12:44:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qvfy4/thinspo_folder/
---
I'm making a thinspo folder (well, really more like a small binder), and I was wondering how many people here have one and what you put in it. So far, I have:

- A journal for when I wanna write about my food issues/thoughts/victories

- A calendar for the next two months with my weight & calorie goals

- Some drawing paper & colored pencils for me to sketch what will inevitably be terrible looking thinspo (I am NOT artistic)

- A page with my main personal goals

Anyway! What do y'all think about having a physical folder/journal with this stuff? Do you keep yours mainly online? Does anyone use magazine cutouts or anything like that? Favorite sources for thinspo? (I've just used my tumblr up until now basically)

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 30, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 30 10:02:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3quq9g/daily_food_diary_october_30_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 30, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] Let's be honest: what used to be a subreddit that promoted acceptance has now become a pro self-harm site disguised as a "supportive community"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 30 06:29:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qty8o/lets_be_honest_what_used_to_be_a_subreddit_that/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! October 30, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 30 06:02:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qtvg4/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_october_30/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for October 30, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] Should I tell my college therapist about my food issues?
/u/Lottie777
Created: Thu Oct 29 23:01:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qsxvs/should_i_tell_my_college_therapist_about_my_food/
---
I have binge, purge, and restrict issues. I'm not underweight. My BMI is 20.1, which is middle normal. I'm afraid that if I tell them, then they might get "concerned" and tell my parents. Are they legally allowed to do this? Any experienced with this?

[Discussion] Nothing is more pathetic and humbling than vomit splash back to the face
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 29 21:20:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qsn2k/nothing_is_more_pathetic_and_humbling_than_vomit/
---
except for maybe when you bend too far forward and it comes out of your nose instead.

hashtag just ed things

[Help] I really, REALLY fucked up. Please help.
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 29 19:25:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qs8rh/i_really_really_fucked_up_please_help/
---
Warning: This is a very long post. I apologize, but there's a lot that happened today.

Today I started an intensive outpatient program for my depression which is at its all-time worst. It was a big decision for me, but I really need help because I can hardly function. Primarily this is a group therapy-focused place, but there are one on ones and psychiatric help.

Since it was my first day, there was a quick psych evaluation with one of the psychiatrists/doctors. This is where I fucked up. I was already incredibly nervous and anxious from being in a new and scary place, so I was feeling vulnerable. So when the doc asked about stressors, I mentioned food and weight gain. And then she pressed on. And like an idiot, I was fucking honest. I told her that I eat 500 calories a day (though it might be less- I kept that to myself). I told her I fear weight gain, and I'm scared of taking meds bc of that. I told her I exercise for an hour every day. I told her I restrict. I did NOT tell her my weight, thank god. But I felt so scared and pressured and it just all came out. I just wanted help with food stress.

But while I was in group, they pulled me out and told me they think I have an ED. To be honest, I don't think I have an ED, just disordered thoughts and tendencies at most. I'm too much pf a huge pig to have an ED. They told me that they don't want to help me until I get that looked at. I need to get evaluated by an ED specialist in a different hospital now. Now my family knows the details of my behaviors which I have mostly been able to hide.

I'm worried about this eval. I'm scared of what they're going to try to make me do. I'm scared, *terrified* of having to do inpatient. I'm scared they're going to make me gain weight. I can't even handle gaining one pound, nevermind 10+. And what if the gaining doesn't stop and I get even fatter?

I dpn't want to do this. I just want help with my depression. Today I have fucking ruined my life for something I could have easily kept hidden. I don't know what to do. I'm scared, angry, overwhelmed.

I will not, *can not*, and refuse to gain any fucking weight.

[Help] I'm in a stall and can't break it no matter how hard I try! Help!
/u/ScienceNerdGirl
Created: Thu Oct 29 12:31:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qqiwy/im_in_a_stall_and_cant_break_it_no_matter_how/
---
I've always been very thin in spite of having pcos. I am 5'3" and up until a few years ago never weighed more than 130 except during pregnancy. Now I'm stuck at 166 and nothing is helping. I've tried keto. I've tried extreme calorie reduction (<600kcals per day). I've tried a 1000 calories. I've cut out most sugars and carbs. I feel like a huge disgusting blob and no matter what I try nothing is changing. Suggestions would be hugely appreciated.

[Help] How do I stay committed without a huge 'motivator'?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 29 12:26:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qqi0u/how_do_i_stay_committed_without_a_huge_motivator/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 29, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 29 10:02:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qpv7v/daily_food_diary_october_29_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 29, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!

Don't forget to post your total amount of calories into the binge free [spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)!


[Discussion] [Discussion] How did I get here?
/u/pantiesgalore96 [5'4" | 153 | 26 | 15 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 29 09:20:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qpon5/discussion_how_did_i_get_here/
---
A year ago I wouldn't say I had an eating disorder. Yeah maybe my relationship with food was a little twisted, and I enjoyed a bit too much every now and then, but it wasn't a *sickness*. I tried making myself throw up once or twice but my heart just wasn't in it. Then a couple of months ago I decided I wasn't going to leave the bathroom until I could properly purge. It started with just purging what went over my calorie limit. Then it was everything I ate. Now I make binge trips to the grocery store once a week because I know I can get away with eating it. I wake up in the morning sometimes and think "what the hell happened?". Do you guys ever have a moment of "clarity" and realize just how truly fucked up this is?

[Help] Scales.
/u/sidium_ [5'7" | 172 | 26.94 | 0 | Female]
Created: Thu Oct 29 08:18:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qpfcj/scales/
---
So I told my mom I wanted a new scale, ours is really old. She said yes, but she wants a dial/analogue one, and I want a digital one. Now, I'll buy a different one, I don't give a shit about that.

I was researching which was actually better, like, more accurate, lasts longer...

I found out that dial/analogue scales are actually worse than digital, because there are so many springs and mechanical pieces in them, they wear out quicker than digital scales. They display your weight as LIGHTER than it really is. Digital scales have few springs and more microchips, so they tend to last longer.

Which makes me worry. The old, shitty scale we have now is dial/analogue. The one that says I'm 172 fucking pounds. We've had it a LONG time, which means it's most likely way out of whack.

So what the fuck is the new scale going to tell me I weigh?

The scale at my doctor's office said 186, but I was wearing tennis shoes, jeans, socks, bra, tank top, hoodie, underwear so there was clothing-weight there. I don't trust scales unless I step on one naked.

I am so nervous about what my weight actually is...

[Thinspo] Talk about ultimate goal
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Thu Oct 29 06:55:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qp4iv/talk_about_ultimate_goal/
---
http://i.imgur.com/w2bjssv.png

[Tip] 50 low calorie, filling meals. ( X-Post from /r/1200isplenty )
/u/tylerisalittleshit
Created: Thu Oct 29 04:44:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qoqwy/50_low_calorie_filling_meals_xpost_from/
---
http://imgur.com/a/RzjLz

Beer Binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 29 01:13:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qoa3l/beer_binge/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] What I did to quit binging
/u/_marienbad [5'5" | 129 | 21 | 21 lbs | f]
Created: Thu Oct 29 00:22:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qo5yl/what_i_did_to_quit_binging/
---
I had a huge issue with binging for about 2 years when I was in college, following severe restricting / over exercising. I just recently quit binging (been about 3 weeks) thanks to this new routine that I tried. I always skipped breakfast and tried to do intermittent fasting / master cleanse, which ended up backfiring on me every time.

So, this is my routine that keeps me full and leaves me not wanting anything after dinner.

Eat breakfast right when you wake up.

1. Breakfast
Oatmeal (1/2 cup)
Maple syrup in oatmeal (you can buy sugar-free) (1 tbs)
PB2 in oatmeal (2 tbs)
Sugar-free low-carb yogurt (45-60 cal)
Coffee (one very large mug)
Almond milk (.2 cup)

At this point I also roast off some veggies in coconut oil spray with salt. It doesn't take long (20-30 minutes) and you can make them while you are eating breakfast. I like brussels sprouts, broccoli, and eggplant. Make a whole tray.

2. Lunch
Snack on roasted veggies as you want. They fill you up.
Alternatives: frozen meals. I like the gardein Mandarin chicken (about 220 cals for half the bag) or lean cuisine meals (all around 260 calories).

3. Dinner
Frozen meals. They are calorie controlled (250-330 calories) and keep you full and are satisfying! The salt might need to be monitored but I have not found it a problem. They are also great to have on hand if you are tempted to eat fast food. I went out and got fast food after and was like ENOUGH. NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN. It was not worth the calories and a frozen dinner tastes just as good. If this does not fill you up, add half sweet potato with a tablespoon of maple syrup, or eat some of the veggies you roasted off in the morning (or make more).

4. Dessert (optional)
If you find you are still hungry, make a bowl of 1 cup arctic zero vanilla flavored + 1 jello temptations chocolate mousse (60 cal, around 100 cal total). I lost a LOT of weight eating arctic zero and think the calories are correct, despite some of the arguments. I wouldnt worry too much about it.

On top of this, I add 25 minutes of strength training, every other day (I have 10-15 lb dumbells in my gym + cable machine around 35 lbs), and 45 minutes of walking on the treadmill at 3.5 mph each day. Again, some say not to trust what it says you burn but I have lost a lot of weight this way. The calories from walking add up, and it's a great form of exercise.

This is the way I'm doing it, after studying many of my past behaviors and what works for those in the bodybuilding section combined with the ED. I want to be skinny for the rest of my life, so this is a routine I feel like can work for me long term. Each day you consume from 600-900 calories, with what the workout takes off. I do not want to binge anymore for the first time in 2 years.

Thanks!

[Thinspo] Peaches Geldof progress pictures
/u/_marienbad [5'5" | 129 | 21 | 21 lbs | f]
Created: Thu Oct 29 00:00:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qo3ye/peaches_geldof_progress_pictures/
---
http://imgur.com/a/7bZZ7

Peaches Geldof was a normal size and got down to a pretty tiny physique before her drug abuse took over and she died in her home. Her story reminds me of my own, but luckily I was able to take control of my mental illness and I never abused drugs. She says that she did a lot of vegetable juicing to get to her size and cut out her junk food addiction. If you look at more pictures of her from when she was younger you can really see she was eating a lot of junk food.

Her wedding was so pretty and her kids are so adorable. A sad story, but I find it inspiring to see her progress. x

[Discussion] Do you have friends/family with disordered habits or EDs?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 28 23:17:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qnzxl/do_you_have_friendsfamily_with_disordered_habits/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] So Not Thinspo material
/u/ThinThinnerThinnest [5'4" | 124.0 | 21.7 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 28 21:36:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qnorq/so_not_thinspo_material/
---
My tummy certainly isn't. God I need to get carbs under control.

I almost uploaded a picture of my collarbone. It's the one thing on me that I ever thought maybe came close.

Compared it to my favorite thinspo.
nope.
not anywhere near thinspo.

Goddamnit. If I had a tumblr it'd be filled with self hate today.

[Discussion] holy fuck I'm so fat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 28 18:33:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qmztr/holy_fuck_im_so_fat/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] For knyburg if you're out there
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 28 15:14:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qm5ix/for_knyburg_if_youre_out_there/
---
http://i.imgur.com/kmdCUvy.png

[Discussion] Favorite way to enhance food?
/u/sidium_ [5'7" | 172 | 26.94 | 0 | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 28 13:27:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qlnu9/favorite_way_to_enhance_food/
---
I've discovered that, while plain tuna is boring, a splash of soy sauce and a little salt makes it so much better.

Anyone found little ways to make boring food a little better?

I need a buddy. 21F
/u/Throwaway099400
Created: Wed Oct 28 12:23:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qld53/i_need_a_buddy_21f/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 28, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 28 10:04:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qkqhp/daily_food_diary_october_28_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 28, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] [Warning: P] Just had my first.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Wed Oct 28 08:47:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qkejy/warning_p_just_had_my_first/
---
-purge.

I was doing fine today. Woke up to a shake of seeds, my mother makes some every morning. At school I only had two cups of coffee from the coffee machine. I got home and got on drawing for my architecture homework.

Was feeling very happy about my day. Went to make some tea. Had a random outburst of love for my mother and thought of making some for her, too. I went to the kitchen and started searching the cabinet for the fruit tea bags.

Couldn't find them anywhere, started moving things aside, only to find a chocolate forgotten at the back of the cabinet. I took and fumbled with it, the wrapper, eyed the cups I lined up on the counter.

Went straight for my room and downed the whole thing. Only for my mother to come into my room ten-twenty minutes later with three tiny chocolate bars- my favorite kind.

I downed them, too. Mother was getting ready to go out and get her manicure done. I hugged her long, smiling from ear to ear for some reason- I just randomly love her so much today.

The moment she left I went for the fridge, took out a jar of mustard and took a teaspoon. Remembered someone on /r/proed mentioning how it helps one purge.

As if this doesn't sound like the beginning of a novel enough already, something really weird happened then. I had the spoon in my mouth, mustard was on the roof of my mouth and edges of my tongue. The doorbell rang.

It was the guy that checks water usage monthly. I ignored it, he wouldn't know someone was home, and returned to my doings. I vaguely considered how the doorbell had been creepily on point, but I'm not the sort of person that ponders on that sort of stuff.

And then I did it... Not sure if enough got out, not sure if it helped with anything, not sure if I'll ever do it again... I just did it, then poured some shower gel in the toilet and flushed- everything smelled nice then. Too nice, so I opened the window. Then I came back to my room and- here I am...

The Great Binge Free Leaderboard
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 28 06:18:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qjuof/the_great_binge_free_leaderboard/
---
Here's the binge free leaderboard. If you want to join, feel free. The link is on the sidebar. I will try to update this weekly. If I don't, one of you can, and I'll distinguish.

1. Loveleigh33
1. airflowers

2. HeartshapesANDninjas

3. p00piepie
3. mspond

4. rachel_oxox
4. Noroeste
4. Psych0candy
4. somanyjellyrolls
4. BathtubApplesauce
4. ButterflyJellyFish
4. SanguineSmiles
4. SgtSarah
4.vanthefirt


5. Kapattak
5. PippiLee97
5. 500_mile_walker

6. Klairvoyant
6. floweredfox

There are a bunch of ties, but reddit won't let me assign the same numbers to list, so most of this is ordered by least calories.

I'm definitely missing someone judging by this count but I can't figure out who. If you do, message below. I ignored people with empty entries.


[Help] I'm CONSTANTLY bloated. I hate myself and it sucks. What gives?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 27 19:20:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qi1s5/im_constantly_bloated_i_hate_myself_and_it_sucks/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Am I the only one who likes reverse thinspo?
/u/sidium_ [5'7" | 172 | 26.94 | 0 | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 27 16:15:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qhaju/am_i_the_only_one_who_likes_reverse_thinspo/
---
Like, super-fat people as opposed to really thin people?

I like seeing fat people and knowing I will NEVER be that. I can work my ass off to be as far from that as possible.

I think it's more motivating for me than thinspo. Anyone else feel the same?

[Help] Help with perma-bloat!
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Tue Oct 27 13:46:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qgmom/help_with_permabloat/
---
So I started a desk job in May after working a full time, on my feet all day retail job for years before that. I've gained weight since I got this job because I got lazy and complacent, but I'm almost back at the weight I was before I started the job. However I'm dealing now with a seemingly permanent bloat and it's driving me CRAZY. While I'm losing weight my stomach still feels and looks like a balloon. Any tips on what can reduce this?

Edit: And as a side note, no I'm not pregnant :p

[Discussion] What qualifies as a binge to you?
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|137.5lb|26.3|-21.5lb|F]
Created: Tue Oct 27 12:57:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qgf05/what_qualifies_as_a_binge_to_you/
---
Going over a certain number of calories in a given amount of time? Eating more than you planned?

[Goal] current
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 27 12:27:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qga47/current/
---
hi guys!

I'm new to this sub and I'm so glad that I found it. Last year I put on 12 pounds that I haven't had the willpower to shake.
This was around the time my boyfriend and I started dating, I started taking birth control, and I started eating meat again. Not sure which one to blame for the gain, but thanks to this sub I've finally started making changes necessary to lose it. I've lost 4 lbs since last week.

I binged and purged for a long time in my teens and early twenties. I stopped purging by the time I was 22. I was really concerned about my teeth and was tired of the habit. I stayed at my close to my ideal weight (100-110) until last year (I'm almost 25 now). I'm kind of a compulsive eater, so now I'm just trying to replace the habit with eating less calorie-dense foods and drinking lots of water.

These are pics that I took today. I'm hoping to lose at least 5 more pounds, and then I guess we'll see how I feel from there. Thank you guys for the inspiration!

P.S.: sorry for such crappy pictures. More progress updates to come, I'm sure.

http://imgur.com/a/wdbOW

[Discussion] Books or movies about EDs?
/u/somethingwtf123
Created: Tue Oct 27 11:43:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qg2yh/books_or_movies_about_eds/
---
Books: Id like something similar to winter girls.


[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 27, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 27 10:04:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qfn5o/daily_food_diary_october_27_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 27, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[CCW] The start of my journey, I hate how fat I am. Bought a XS skirt, I have a month to fit it. I can do this.
/u/Throwaway726482
Created: Tue Oct 27 02:42:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qe9vj/the_start_of_my_journey_i_hate_how_fat_i_am/
---
https://imgur.com/a/ga4UR

[Discussion] Any good appetite suppressants in Australia?
/u/russianfrank [5'5 | 121 lbs | 19.4 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 27 02:17:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qe82w/any_good_appetite_suppressants_in_australia/
---
Seriously guys, does anyone know any good appetite suppressants/diet pills/any other pharmaceutical drugs sold in Australia. I see you post things like ECA stacks, bronkaid, etc but all of it is illegal here and you just don't realise how lucky you are to be able to get those things.

[Thinspo] Lil Ms Kitten of Tumblr
/u/DisorderAlt [180cm | 60kg | 17.94 | m]
Created: Tue Oct 27 00:06:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qdxv5/lil_ms_kitten_of_tumblr/
---
https://i.imgur.com/Exfq5mx.jpg

[Help] Plateau advice? I can't break it.
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Mon Oct 26 20:34:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qd9zj/plateau_advice_i_cant_break_it/
---
I eat between 300-500 cal a day total. I run about 2 miles 5 times a week. And do planks, ab work outs as much as I can.

I tried switching up my exercise. I've added diet supplements (Garcinia Cambogia/Green Coffee Bean)

Maybe a ECA stack? So frustrated.

Edit: on mobile apologies for no post flair

[Discussion] Thread for MyFitnessPal handles?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 26 20:05:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qd67c/thread_for_myfitnesspal_handles/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Running long distances (30 mins. without stopping, 7 min./mile), will my calves/thighs get larger at a deficit?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 26 14:58:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qbwme/running_long_distances_30_mins_without_stopping_7/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] shmegeh updated her tumblr for the first time in 3 months
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 26 14:41:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qbtyk/shmegeh_updated_her_tumblr_for_the_first_time_in/
---
http://shmegeh.tumblr.com/

[Discussion] Could we maybe start a daily/weekly thinspo art thread?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Mon Oct 26 14:26:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qbrl5/could_we_maybe_start_a_dailyweekly_thinspo_art/
---
Or would that be too much since there are quite a few other threads (daily food intake, progress selfie, the weekly chart etc)...

It's just, I really love drawing thinspo art and noticed I'm not the only one. That, and this would be the only place that would appreciate that sort of stuff... But hey, it's a mere suggestion :)

[Discussion] Can I get a thigh gap?
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 26 14:21:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qbqw3/can_i_get_a_thigh_gap/
---
I have an hourglass figure naturally and I want a thigh gap, but is it possible with my body shape? I don't want one if I have to become extremely thin but I want one once I hit the sweet spot of being a bit underweight...

[Thinspo] [thinspo] [nsfw] I already don't care how much I have to strive
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 26 13:43:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qbkod/thinspo_nsfw_i_already_dont_care_how_much_i_have/
---
http://i.imgur.com/QUq5GXt.jpg

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 26, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 26 10:05:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3qalxx/daily_food_diary_october_26_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 26, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! October 26, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 26 06:09:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q9ras/weekly_stats_update_october_26_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 26, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] Black Swan
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 26 03:39:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q9eal/black_swan/
---
http://imgur.com/KJPlRlP

[Discussion] My Introduction
/u/airflowers [5'6.5" | 167 |26.55| -99| F]
Created: Mon Oct 26 02:05:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q97b2/my_introduction/
---
Hi everyone! I have been lurking here a while and finally got up the courage to introduce myself. I'm 31, married, and work in manufacturing.

I have struggled with various types of eating disorders for most of my life. I grew up always having plenty to eat, but for some reason I had the compulsion to sneak food into my room and hide it so I could eat in secret. That worked out pretty well until my mom found my food stash and the empty wrappers. I was so humiliated I wanted to die!

That was the beginning of a love hate relationship with food, loving to eat it but hating what it did to my body. In high school I discovered bulimia and I thought that was the perfect solution. I was able to get control over my weight with purging, exercising and running which I loved to do. After several years my bulimia got so out of control I wound up in the hospital with my electrolytes totally out of whack and was in put their eating disorder treatment program for several months. That's where I was also diagnosed with clinical depression and put on antidepressants. After I got out of treatment my bulimia was never as bad as it had been, but I began to gain weight and my binges became worse. I'm an emotional eater, so I use food as a coping mechanism.

At the beginning of this year my weight had reached 266 pounds, I absolutely couldn't stand myself, and I was extremely depressed. My husband wanted us to go on a vacation trip early this summer but my depression was so bad and my physical condition had deteriorated so much from my weight that he decided we should stay home. I started contemplating suicide, which is not unusual for me. (I attempted it once years before by taking a bunch of aspirin which only damaged my hearing and I have a constant ringing in my ears now.) :( I was so miserable I didn't eat for three days. My husband begged me to start eating again, so I finally did, a little, but I vowed that I would never let food control me again, and I started restricting and losing weight. I've lost 74 pounds so far but I still have so much more to lose. I can't get rid of this fat fast enough!

I have been trying to keep my Calories around 500 per day while getting enough protein so I've started weighing my food and keeping a food journal. I walk an hour each day and sometimes two, and hopefully when I get my weight down enough I can begin jogging again. I used to run 35 miles a week and was a member of the local running club. I weighed around 135 at that time and I want to get back to that weight again and lower. For once in my life I want to be in control of food and not let it control me, and I want to be really thin. My GW is 135 pounds and my UGW is 116 lbs. That's right at the lower limit of my healthy weight range and I think I could be happy there. My big worry is loose skin from all my weight gain and that's why I'm concerned about getting enough protein. Hopefully it might help my skin snap back, but I'm afraid I'm going to need a lot of skin surgery and that really sucks. I hate what I've done to my body!!!

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Just reading your posts helps me feel less alone. I would be grateful for any of your advice or suggestions. I wish you all success achieving your goals.

Edit: I looked back on my calendar where I recorded my weight loss and the first entry is on February 4, 2015 and I weighed 245 lbs so apparently I had started losing in late 2014. My weight loss isn't as dramatic as I originally stated. I don't have any records before that since I had failed to keep weight off so many times before that I didn't know if this time would be any different.

[Help] It's been one month since the last time I was able to eat without triggering a binge/purge session and one month since I've been able to make myself puke by just flexing my stomach the right way.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 26 00:23:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q8ym3/its_been_one_month_since_the_last_time_i_was_able/
---
Being able to puke unwanted food on demand has been my dream since I developed an eating disorder. But it's a nightmare. Now there's no dread of having unwanted food stuck in my belly keeping me from eating. And then after I puke another binge is triggered. I might not be able to finish this semester because I spend so much time binging and puking instead of doing assignments and studying. And the worst is that I'm not even losing any weight this way :(

[Thinspo] Personal thinspo from lowest weight
/u/_marienbad [5'5" | 129 | 21 | 21 lbs | f]
Created: Sun Oct 25 21:29:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q8gq0/personal_thinspo_from_lowest_weight/
---
I found this forum after being basically banned and shunned from the body building forum. They wouldn't even listen to me trying to lose weight the right way through lifting weights, so I'm just going to join a community that will accept me. Recovering from orthorexia, now want to lose some of the weight I gained recovering.

I was 88 lbs in these. I love seeing your pictures so thought I would post. Also would love myfitnesspal friends, my username is popupvideo. NSFW http://imgur.com/a/8GO89

Looking for a Buddy
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 25 20:45:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q8bau/looking_for_a_buddy/
---
[removed]

New Mods' Introduction!
/u/snail_love [5'6" | 119 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 25 19:49:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q83re/new_mods_introduction/
---
Hi everyone! Me & /u/somanyjellyrolls just wanted to introduce ourselves as the new mods here! So here goes:

I'm /u/snail_love! I'm 23; I spend most of my time busy with work & college classes. Running is my favorite hobby - I love competing in races or just using it as a stress release. That and browsing this sub pretty much take up all my free time! I live with my SO and I'm super excited about Halloween and our awesome costumes next week! Well, minus all the candy that's everywhere... >_<

I've had an ED for about 7 years now. It started when I developed bulimia in high school (although I have had weird food issues since I was much younger) and it's shifted over the years to strict restriction. Although I do unfortunately B/P on occasion, I've found ways to stay in control and prevent it most of the time. This sub has helped a lot with that, I'm getting closer to my goals much more quickly now that I have this awesome community supporting me! So thanks to everyone here for being so positive and encouraging! <3

If you ever have any questions or want to talk, feel free to pm me! I'm really excited to be a mod here and I hope I help y'all reach your goals too!


Ā 


Hey, I'm /u/somanyjellyrolls. (Attempting to be nomorejellyrolls). I'm 25, work a typical desk job, and spend most of my time with my SO and occasionally his son. I don't think Reddit counts as a hobby, so I guess I'm also into makeup and video games, when I can bring myself to do them. I've had issues with food for as long as I can remember. Never diagnosed and don't plan on ever bringing it up with my doc. I binged as a child, mostly as a coping mechanism for my anxiety. That morphed into binging and restricting/fasting cycles as a teen, and finally started leaning more towards restricting during college and on. My binges have decreased in size and frequency, and I'm working on cutting them out altogether. It's been so much easier with the support of everyone here. I thought I was just a failure for struggling with these things, so it's been extremely helpful to see how everyone else here understands and struggles too. So thank you for that. I hope I can continue to contribute and be there for all of you. Please don't hesitate to ever message me (I'm more afraid of you than you are of me).



[Help] I need to lose weight for an upcoming work and I am looking for the support of a disciplined community.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 25 18:55:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q7wfw/i_need_to_lose_weight_for_an_upcoming_work_and_i/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Extreme skinny legs- very skinny[warning]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 25 18:51:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q7vwy/extreme_skinny_legs_very_skinnywarning/
---
http://imgur.com/PZbaVXl

[Thinspo] I drew some thinspo. What do you all think.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 25 16:16:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q7afy/i_drew_some_thinspo_what_do_you_all_think/
---
http://imgur.com/9kwgiun

[CCW] My legs. So fat and ugly.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 25 12:57:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q6hd5/my_legs_so_fat_and_ugly/
---
http://imgur.com/5GOD3dJ

[Discussion] Different kind of motivation
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Sun Oct 25 11:15:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q62xv/different_kind_of_motivation/
---
So I've been spending a lot of time at my mom's house while she was out of town. My brother was still home and he is a slob. She has severe shoulder pain almost constantly so I decided to help her out and do the dishes from the past week.

Well it turns out that doing nasty dishes is a great motivation to not eat! At least for me. It made me not want to eat anything for a long time between the smell and the effort it took to scrub these nasty dishes.

Has anyone else noticed this or anything similar??

[Help] Need help preparing for an event next week...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 25 10:46:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q5yt5/need_help_preparing_for_an_event_next_week/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 25, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 25 10:04:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q5t1f/daily_food_diary_october_25_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 25, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


What happened to /u/knyburg ?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 24 22:09:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q44ae/what_happened_to_uknyburg/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Model thinspo
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Sat Oct 24 19:33:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q3mx5/model_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/fKoUZ

[Thinspo] Somewhat extreme thinspo-legs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 24 16:34:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q3170/somewhat_extreme_thinspolegs/
---
http://imgur.com/Bj87aN5

[Discussion] My opinion about anti-pro Ana [discussion]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 24 16:17:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q2z1j/my_opinion_about_antipro_ana_discussion/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Discussion: Is there something, or some physical effect, that would make you stop?
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Sat Oct 24 14:33:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q2l2b/discussion_is_there_something_or_some_physical/
---
Last night I had a dream that I was unable to sing because of my ED. That's not something I think can happen but it was so scary. I woke up thinking "wow. I guess maybe. MAYBE, that would be the one and only wake up call for me. Music is the one thing I am more passionate about than getting my perfect body.

Does anyone else have "the one thing"?

(Sorry can't flair on mobile)

[CCW] What does CCW stand for?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 24 10:19:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q1lfz/what_does_ccw_stand_for/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 24, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 24 10:04:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q1jbj/daily_food_diary_october_24_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 24, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] help
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Sat Oct 24 02:51:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q0gag/help/
---
I'm so fucking sad . I binged today but it's not even just about that

I feel like I have realised that I can't stand the person I am. I hate myself.

It's so much more than that . I guess I am just considering my worth and contemplating the idea that I'm just not worth it .

I don't deserve this beautiful world I think I may be considering tapping out.

[Thinspo] Extreme thinspo/bonespo- collarbones
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 24 00:35:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q06zd/extreme_thinspobonespo_collarbones/
---
http://imgur.com/9BA8bJs

[Thinspo] My favorite leg thinspo/bonespo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 24 00:21:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q05wp/my_favorite_leg_thinspobonespo/
---
http://imgur.com/4lpxH4a

[Help] I ate too much and I sorta wanna die!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 23 23:58:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q0425/i_ate_too_much_and_i_sorta_wanna_die/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What apps do you guys use to stay on track?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5"| CW 139.2 | 23.4 | -30.8 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 23 23:31:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q01od/what_apps_do_you_guys_use_to_stay_on_track/
---
Some of my favorites are:

* Way of Life - You list good/bad habits and check off daily if you succeeded. Great in seeing total progress.

* Fasting Secret - It's a great fasting timer and it's great to push yourself another minute, hour, day, etc.

* T-Zero Countdown - I can set different goal dates and it shows a countdown for each event.

Of course MFP. I also use Tumblr and Pinterest for motivation/inspiration.

[Discussion] Lurker coming to say hello and ask for comments.
/u/critical_fluff [5'1 | 112 | 21.10 | 0| F]
Created: Fri Oct 23 23:17:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q00du/lurker_coming_to_say_hello_and_ask_for_comments/
---
Hi lovelies,


I'm a student, 20 on Monday, petite and 112lbs. I started realizing I had big thighs when I was 11 and read a book that called a character fat because her thighs smooshed together when she sat down. I've never really liked them since, and a few years ago I realized I have one of those flat droopy butts, so that just added to the hatred of everything below my hips. Was restricting off and on in highschool but had to stop because I was threatened with forced hospitalization and it made home life hell.


I've never gotten above 115, but I feel the best right around 100 or even 95 pounds. I got back to college a month ago in a depressed fog and quickly packed on a good 5 pounds from carbs and booze again. It makes me even more miserable with my body and I hate the way the fat feels on my face.


I've been actively restricting the past two weeks and it's so good to be in control again. It's helpful it seems that I'm allergic to all dairy products and a vegetarian, so veggies and fruits are my go to normally, but I'm not feeling or seeing a damn bit of difference, even with cardio. This is really rare because when I get sick or don't have access too food (yay college) and just barely eat, I drop weight like a stone. Why isn't this working now?


I'm trying to completely eliminate sugars and most carbs from my diet because those are definitely my problem sources. Does anyone have any favorite exercises, or diet foods?

me: http://imgur.com/a/vUCwQ


I'm sorry if this isn't the correct way to go about things, just message me and I'll take it down.

Thank you :)

[Help] Halloween, Holidays, and Horrible Winters
/u/ThinThinnerThinnest [5'4" | 124.0 | 21.7 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 23 23:12:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3q000g/halloween_holidays_and_horrible_winters/
---
Halp.

First. Halloween. When all the candy is packaged in cute little 'fun sized' portions. More like misleading, tempting, binge inducing portions. Is it just me or is it easier to sparse out a full size snickers bar out as your only food in a day than it is to avoid eating an entire bag of tiny portions?

And then the holidays. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Big family meals designed specifically for all day grazing. I try to stick to just the meat and veggies and not eat between functions, but there is just so much food and alcohol and everyone is overindulging!!

All in Winter, too. I live in a northern part of the Americas and winters absolutely kill all motivation to be anything other than a miserable pile of mush.

Going to try my damnedest to get through this winter without gaining 15lbs like I have every other year. I bought myself a jump rope and signed up at a gym for the first time ever. I have a schedule and I'm going to stick to it no matter how much my seasonal downs tell me to just give up.

I will be looking forward to the beautiful thinspo albums that get posted here, and if I get bad I will definitely be reaching out for that extra bit of motivation.


Meme'd recap: Brace yourself, Winter is Coming.

[Goal] My goals
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 23 22:17:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pzujd/my_goals/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I just need to say this, even though it's stupid.
/u/alluring_nymphet [5'7" | 137lbs | 21.46 |-35lbs | female]
Created: Fri Oct 23 20:27:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pzieu/i_just_need_to_say_this_even_though_its_stupid/
---
My current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is prettier than me. She's thinner and overall better-looking. She told a mutual friend of ours that he shouldn't be angry with her and that she wanted to be his friend. For some background, she hurt him a lot and broke up their engagement when his mother passed away "because he was too depressing." I know he will never go back to her, but I can't help but see how much better she is.

When I see pictures of her it makes me feel like a fat piece of shit. It makes me want to never eat again and starve myself until I can be that thin. She's perfect and I'm not.

How do I deal with this?

[Discussion] Starting w Bronkaid?
/u/runningonempty94 [5'5" | 130 | 21.6 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 23 19:10:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pz9jm/starting_w_bronkaid/
---
How often should I take it when I'm just starting out? Should I increase it over time? Any real side effects people experience? Is it dangerous?

[Discussion] Tasty food becomes unbearable?
/u/sheelalala
Created: Fri Oct 23 15:35:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pyhte/tasty_food_becomes_unbearable/
---
Okay, so i've been struggling with disordered eating for some years now, especially while i was still growing. And for almost two years i would eat nothing but steamed broccoli with cheese, raisins and the occasional binge. But while i binged i didnt really process the taste of food anyways.

>All that didnt help me lose weight, and now i try to eat healthy with fewer calories.

But i noticed, that i no longer see food as something that can taste good. Sometimes i see yummy low-cal recipes and try them, b ut i feel horrible afterwards and always return to my !unseasoned! steamed veggie... I dont see a point in pleasure..
Anyone else?


Embarking today!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 23 15:32:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pyhed/embarking_today/
---
http://imgur.com/NlRkfWv

[Thinspo] 50 skinny fitspo pics
/u/calorified
Created: Fri Oct 23 12:54:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pxuvu/50_skinny_fitspo_pics/
---
http://imgur.com/a/Ex2g4

[Thinspo] Thinspo: Carrie Underwood Target Ad!
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Fri Oct 23 12:23:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pxq4r/thinspo_carrie_underwood_target_ad/
---
Have you guys seen this? http://youtu.be/eoBEBTn9fds her legs are sooooo thin and she is looking sooooooo small!!!! It popped up on my Facebook and I was like "I don't care for this song but damn Carrie you lookin skinny!!"



[Discussion] Weird food dreams...
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Fri Oct 23 10:21:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3px8g0/weird_food_dreams/
---
Oh my god, this is the most annoying thing. I'm pretty sure I dreamt about food twice in a row. It doesn't help that my dreams make no fking sense!

Last night I had a dream that this real estate lady was showing me a house and fruit kept rolling from underneath the furniture. She kicked me out and told me that my eating disorder is attracting food into the house. WTF!

[Thinspo] Small Friday thinspo album. Sorry again if there are any reposts!
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 122 | 20.54 | -34 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 23 10:09:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3px6u2/small_friday_thinspo_album_sorry_again_if_there/
---
http://imgur.com/a/CqSId

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 23, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 23 10:05:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3px67f/daily_food_diary_october_23_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 23, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Thinspo] Hipbones
/u/mindymoogle
Created: Fri Oct 23 09:14:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pwyx2/hipbones/
---
http://imgur.com/ASbd7UL

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! October 23, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 23 06:07:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pwbfp/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_october_23/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for October 23, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] So I reached my goal weight...
/u/SpaceDingo3
Created: Fri Oct 23 03:25:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pvxno/so_i_reached_my_goal_weight/
---
It hurt so much, but I did it. I'm thin now, or so they say. People definitely treat me different, mostly not in the way I'd hoped for. My teachers look at me like a wounded child, and I guess that's all I am now. I have made my family and friends so sad but I secretly love it when they say I look sick and they're worried for me. I know that's awful. I got everything I wanted, so why do I still cry when I see my reflection? To me, I look even worse than before all this. I feel uglier than ever, and I only did this so I could feel pretty. Seeing that number on the scale was so surreal, I thought I'd be perfect but I know now I won't ever be.

The last few days have been such a daze, I can't stop thinking about this and what it means. It must be a fork in the road, either I set a new goal, or I get better. My crazy brain is telling me to just go lower, and everything will be fixed, but the first time that didn't work at all, so why would it this time? I think I want to get better now. Maybe I'm not perfect, but I was never supposed to be. Perfection will kill me if I keep going with this, and I'm still not sure if that's what I want.

Thankyou guys for listening, this is my first post here but I read it quite a bit. If anyone has a similar experience to me I'd love to read it, I'm still feeling really confused and kind of cheated.

[Help] Fasting friend wanted šŸ’•
/u/losemore
Created: Fri Oct 23 00:52:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pvm3q/fasting_friend_wanted/
---
Hey guys and girls, I'm starting a 3 day fast tomorrow and was wanted if anybody wanted to join?

[Help] How to cut down on junk food?
/u/tupelohoney92 [5'3 | 108 | 19.9 |f]
Created: Fri Oct 23 00:19:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pvj8w/how_to_cut_down_on_junk_food/
---
Huge problem with junk food. I feel like I can't find anything to snack on, and I really love to snack. I've never liked eating full meals because it feels like I'm eating too much food at once. But these snacks turn into binges themselves. What can I snack on instead? Has anyone stopped eating junk food completely?

[Help] Recovering from binges
/u/amorkai [5'7"| 148 | 23.18 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 22 21:42:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pv2y0/recovering_from_binges/
---
I know, I know, this is gross, but I have gained 16 lbs since I started bingeing. I can't even remember when I started, I just remember being about 132, my lowest current weight, before shit hit the fan.

I've been traveling a lot lately, I just got back from California and stuff, and I've been with my mom, so she's had a tight watch on what I eat. Lots of restaurant food (ew).

I'm currently trying to restrict, which didn't work well today as I got invited to someone's house for lunch for the first time, ever. I ended up eating some spaghetti and a Mt. Dew but the spaghetti seemed not too terribly unhealthy and I didn't eat more than about a cup and a half.

Anyway, other than restricting, what can I do to decrease my bloatedness and of course, fat? Seriously anything will help.

**P.S.** I just wanna say, all of y'all are always so fucking nice and everyone is amazing. Thanks for being a huge comfort for everyone <3

[Discussion] Diet pills
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 22 19:45:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3puobe/diet_pills/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Stop counting your exercise calories
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 22 19:40:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3punn9/stop_counting_your_exercise_calories/
---
They are SO INACCURATE. Do not count them.

Did MFP tell you you burned 150 kcal on a 3 mile walk? It's fing LYING.

[Discussion] I have been around for a while, but never introduced myself. So Hi! Lemme tell you who I am.
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Thu Oct 22 19:36:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pun6c/i_have_been_around_for_a_while_but_never/
---
I'm 30 years old and I used to have a serious over eating problem. I was very, very active in gymnastics and dance so I could get away with it. I hit 22, got out of college and was less active and BAM. Wow. Cannot over eat like that.

I've had extreme anxiety and depression for ages and have PTSD. The anxiety and depression (diagnosed in middle school) used to be the core reason for over eating. Later the incident that caused PTSD (2005) sent me way over the edge.

It makes me hate myself in so many ways, but especially my body. I want to slice my skin off, remove all the fat and put the skin right on the bone.

Over eating was easy to just purge when I was younger because of all the exercises. Now I have to restrict and fast. I'm so heavy and last month I got sent to psych ward for 5 day for my depression. They monitored everyone's eating and 5 days of serious supervision and forced three full meals a day made me so mad, I'm now ten times as motivated to lose this obese garbage body.

So the new cocktail of antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, sedatives and what have you, have caused me to have the ability to really focus on my restriction. The depression is less present and I can pop an anti anxiety med for that. So now I am soooo focused on losing.

I have always wanted to eat nothing. When I was younger I'd fantasize I was a pixie and I could survive on air and magic. I hate/love food. I'm diagnosed with and ED officially since end of college (2005).

I don't wanna die. I don't wanna hurt myself. But I will not be happy til I can look in the mirror and see a twig pixie.

My UGW is 105-100. I currently run/ab work out when I'm not fasting. Every day is 500 cal or less no exceptions. I don't binge usually and I've promised myself not to because purging is too hard on my esophagus and I'm a singer. No one is gonna listen to a fat singer with burned vocal chords.

And that's pretty much me. I've got a BF I live with. And a dog. Music is my only other obsession beyond my weight. I'm a singer songwriter. I'm so glad I found this sub. It's so hard to feel alone.

[Discussion] Do you live with your SO?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 22 19:28:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pum6j/do_you_live_with_your_so/
---
I live with mine and he works late most days so I can lie and say I already ate. The days he doesn't I want to cook him something but I can't bring myself to eat. He's Type 1 diabetic so thank goodness I get to restrict wheat and sugar, but he's starting to ask questions. Anyone else?

[Discussion] I like the chest pains.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 22 18:34:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3puf3f/i_like_the_chest_pains/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] [Discussion] How many calories are actually absorbed chewing and spitting?
/u/Lissawind
Created: Thu Oct 22 18:22:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pudmy/discussion_how_many_calories_are_actually/
---
Sorry if I tagged this wrong or anything.

There's so much conflicting information about it. It's become a bad habit for me. I'm still losing, but my weight loss definitely does slow when it's bad.

I usually just add the whole amount of calories... but I never know how many calories I'm actually getting.

Does anyone know?



[Help] Will someone join me in a week of 500?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 22 18:08:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pubrp/will_someone_join_me_in_a_week_of_500/
---
Hey, I have been in a pretty bad binge cycle and I want to motivate myself to restrict more. My goal is to eat under 500 for a week with no binges. Does anyone want to join in and be an accountability buddy with me?

[Tip] Cravings? You need this instead
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 22 17:52:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pu9nb/cravings_you_need_this_instead/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Qt3F5cw.jpg

[Tip] Tip: Get an IgA/IgG food sensitivity test
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 22 17:26:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pu666/tip_get_an_igaigg_food_sensitivity_test/
---
Talk to your doctor about this test.

A. It's important for anyone, regardless of their ED status, to know if they have food sensitivities or allergies. You might be surprised!

B. You can explain your food issues to your doctor that you don't eat because certain foods make you feel sick, and you just want to check

C. You can explain to family and friends that you have to restrict certain foods because of a legit medical reason.

Its a slightly pricey test, but its worth it in the long run. For your Health!

[Thinspo] [thinspo] feet together, thighs apart
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 22 15:40:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ptrjh/thinspo_feet_together_thighs_apart/
---
http://i.imgur.com/R99OiAu.jpg

[Discussion] KNYBURG, IF YOURE READING THIS PLEASE KNOW PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU.
/u/drukqsx
Created: Thu Oct 22 15:13:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ptnp5/knyburg_if_youre_reading_this_please_know_people/
---
Knyburg, if youre reading this, it will be okay. I promise. I saw your most recent posts before you deleted your account. Dont do something you cannot undo. Please reach out to someone who can help you. Life can be amazing, you dont have to feel like this. Reach out to me, or someone you trust. Anyone. Im just a stranger but Im worrying about you. I cannot imagine what the people in your life are going through. Please trust me. Things can be okay.

[Help] Tell me how gross Chai Tea Lattes are
/u/ramonablue
Created: Thu Oct 22 13:53:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ptbq2/tell_me_how_gross_chai_tea_lattes_are/
---
This is my weakness and I can't kick it. It is usually my breakfast but I know it's so bad. I don't drink any other sweet drinks but I can't kick this habit. Tell me how sick it is that I drink this and/or a substitute.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 22, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 22 10:03:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3psd8o/daily_food_diary_october_22_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 22, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


Looking for new moderators
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 22 09:30:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ps8as/looking_for_new_moderators/
---
We're looking for new moderators. You must be willing to go on this sub daily and at least skim all the posts. You don't need to post every day, you simply need to mod every day.

If you're interested, comment below explaining why you think you should be a mod. Do not PM.

EDIT: Applications close October 22 and 11:49 EST.

[Discussion] Diet pills
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 22 09:18:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ps6j1/diet_pills/
---
Hey guys I'm headed to a drugstore/health food store today and I want suggestions for weight loss pills!!! Please comment the best ones, I was thinking of getting the green coffee beans or the raspberry ones, thanks!!!
Edit: can't flair sorry I'm on my phone!! Will do later when I'm on my computer :)

[Help] Someone help! Ugh!!!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 22 09:09:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ps59v/someone_help_ugh/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Juicy Juicy fast | Protips?
/u/gogopowerginger
Created: Wed Oct 21 21:47:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pq91b/juicy_juicy_fast_protips/
---
It's not a cleanse. It's not for detox. It's for straight up lack of caloric density. Let me know if you've tried a juice fast, and how it went for you.

Plan: 6AM hour long cardio
7am, 10am, 1pm, and 5pm JUICE. (1 gallon of juice = roughly 1100 calories)

7pm walk for an hour

I got Kale and a breville. Got this shit on lock.

5'4" | 120 lbs. Goal is 107lbs.

I also have tons of Jello. JELLO TO THE MAX.

Then rise and repeat for the next month. Best laid plans, amirite?

[Help] Help with not bingeing?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 21 21:46:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pq8wk/help_with_not_bingeing/
---
Hi, I've been a lurker for a little while now.

I live right next door to a grocery store (seriously, the neon lights make my room as bright as day at night), so whenever I feel the need to binge, which is quite a bit I'm afraid, then I can just walk right next door and get whatever I'm craving.

Does anyone have tips for keeping me out of the grocery store for random binges? I'm starting to feel like I can't stop myself :(

[Discussion] DAE feel relieved when they suffer for bad choices
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 21 20:00:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ppujp/dae_feel_relieved_when_they_suffer_for_bad_choices/
---
[deleted]

[Help] God i fucking hate my body (rant, sorry)
/u/ikillsouls
Created: Wed Oct 21 19:44:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pps9l/god_i_fucking_hate_my_body_rant_sorry/
---
I don't fucking get it. I started at 130. Now I'm at 106. not at my goal yet, but stoll my lowest yet. I can feel my collarbones, hip bones, and ribs. But jesus fucking christ i cant feel good about my body i cant look in a god damn mirror because my hip/ thigh area is so fucking disgustingly huge. Ive restricted, fasted, exercised and my waist gets smaller and so do my legs but i feel like this area doesnt.it looks wide. I slso have this weird fucking dip on the side of my hips (if that makes sense) which makes me look even fatter in everything. It makes my body look disproportionate. I hate it i dont know what to do its so frustrating. I just want to be thin and small

[Discussion] Strange Inspo
/u/radbitch666 [5'7| 137.6 | 21.5 | -7.8 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 21 16:48:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pp3i6/strange_inspo/
---
Hi guys, lurker here. I wanted to know if you guys have odd inspirations. An example would be my own, and that's that I want to look like Jinx from league of legends (http://imgur.com/gzlNCil) because she has the perfect waist. Idk. I guess I just really wanted to know if you guys idolize fictional/animated characters bodies?

[Discussion] Would you help me with a thinspo movie?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Wed Oct 21 13:05:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3po5ky/would_you_help_me_with_a_thinspo_movie/
---
Black Swan, Gia, Girl Interrupted, Factory Girl kind of movie?

[Discussion] My Re-Introduction, AKA the Freshman Fifteen is NOT a Myth
/u/Kapattak [5'7" | 125.8 | 19.53 | -16.4 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 21 12:38:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3po1e3/my_reintroduction_aka_the_freshman_fifteen_is_not/
---
Hello all you wonderfully supportive people. This fall I trudged off to University at my lowest weight ever, weighing in at 123.2 pounds. In the past 2 months I have managed to gain up to 135 lbs, far too close to my original starting weight of 141 in late June.

My wake-up call was my mother telling me I had gotten fat, especially since I had gotten so "thin and pretty" this past summer. The same woman who claimed I was getting too thin this past summer now made rude comments on my weight, when she has little self control on her weight as she slowly edges closer to 200 pounds.

I am here to reclaim my body. I have done it once before, and I can do it again. Slowly but steadily, I can reach 123.2 pounds again, and after that, the ultimate goal of 118.

For reference, [this](http://i.imgur.com/M7MKiGq.jpg) and [this](http://i.imgur.com/uszozHN.jpg?1) is my starting point. I just finished a 24 hour fast, and it went well until a sudden bout of insomnia kept me up half the night, rolling with hunger pangs. Today, I have stayed underneath 800 calories, and I plan on going on an hour long run.

I will reach my goal of weighing in at 118 pounds before Christmas break. Exactly 2 months to lose 12.5 pounds, to be skinny, to be happy.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 21, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 21 10:04:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pncv8/daily_food_diary_october_21_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 21, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Lurker here - First post - Intro
/u/Recycled_Dreams [5'6" | 156.5 | 25.6 |F]
Created: Wed Oct 21 08:45:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pn0j7/lurker_here_first_post_intro/
---
Hello everyone. I've been lurking for a while and gaining a lot of support from the discussions. I never really thought anyone felt like I do, but you guys get it. I am a little shy because I'm older than most of you and maybe feel like I don't belong? I'm in my 30s, I'm a mother, and I've struggled my entire life with disordered eating. I used to use rolled coins in my pockets to fool doctors during my 'weight checks'. However, I have let myself go. I'm almost ashamed to post 'flair' because...well, I'm ashamed! This all started in my teens. I always felt like I wasn't good enough. I had to win everything or else my dad would make me feel like a loser. He'd yell and berate me. It sucked. I still feel like I have something to prove. I have a perfectionist mentality and controlling my food was my source of control and comfort. I tried not to care once I got older, but in that time, I packed on 60 pounds! I've lost 20 pounds since my HW. I need to lose 40 more to even feel normal again. But what IS normal? I'll get there and still want to change myself. After dropping some pounds, I can't stop again. Seeing that scale move down, knowing I AM doing that, it's just powerful. I guess I don't have a point here. I'm just wondering if anyone is old, like me? Anyway, thanks for reading.

[Discussion] How to actually lose weight with binge purge
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 21 06:23:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pmhx3/how_to_actually_lose_weight_with_binge_purge/
---
Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting you binge and purge. Restricting is always the lesser evil.

I've been reading all sorts of stuff about how bulimics are overweight and how it doesn't work. That only happens if you binge purge all day. The way to lose weight if you plan to binge purge is actually to fast all day then binge purge at night. I can guarantee that if you get at least 50% out you will lose weight usually faster than if you straight up restrict. Because in a meal, even if you binge, you'll usually only eat a max of like 1500 calories because your stomach shrinks from not having eaten all day. You can easily purge at least half making it 750 calories. Most people can get rid of more and make it 400 ish. I've use this method and have personally lost more weight than just restricting, but I would rather just restrict.

If you're going to binge purge, I would suggest cycling. For example, restrict every two or three days, binge at night on the fourth, then purge. That's at least better than binge purging every day and you should lose enough wait and keep yourself from a "damaging" binge. The key here is that you have days/hours of no calorie and then episodes of binging. Where you actually lose weight is when you consume nothing.

Again, it's better to just not binge at all.

[Thinspo] [REVERSE THINSPO] If jiggling your own fat isn't enough?
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 21 00:28:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pload/reverse_thinspo_if_jiggling_your_own_fat_isnt/
---
I can't be the only one who jiggles the fat on my thighs/arms/butt whenever I need reassurance right?


I'm kind of embarrassed that I even thought of this, let alone *did* it, but I was lying in bed with my legs curved at a 90 degree angle and I was jiggling the fat on my thighs because I was sad and grossed out. And then a little while later I was thinking that about reverse thinspo, more specifically big people running in slow motion...


aaaannnd then I started jiggling my own fat thighs around and decided to use the slo-mo video feature on my phone to record it.


It was disgusting. *I am* disgusting.


Try at your own risk.

[Discussion] Today, I saw the opposite of thinspo, and I was surprised at my reaction.
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Tue Oct 20 21:51:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pl84h/today_i_saw_the_opposite_of_thinspo_and_i_was/
---
Today, as I was walking to the bus stop, I saw a curvaceous, heavier gal walking. Wearing leggings and a mid-drift shirt. She was so confident and clearly loved her body. A body that I think most people would consider overweight, not just people of this sub, but any people. I thought "Wow, I wish I could be happy with who I am, like she is. She probably never counts calories, I wonder what that is like...".

I thought my reaction would be something like "oh I have to work harder to never be like that" or "okay I am doing ok b/c I know I am not THAT big." But instead, I was jealous at how little she cared. I don't know what that could be like, and I truly doubt I ever will. I was shocked at my own reaction...

[Discussion] Hi, my name is Boozymcskinny and I have an eating disorder
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 20 21:32:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pl5n5/hi_my_name_is_boozymcskinny_and_i_have_an_eating/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] The Great Binge Free/900 Calories Tally
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 20 21:19:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pl43w/the_great_binge_free900_calories_tally/
---
I've noticed that people are asking about accountability, so I've decided that we can keep a tally of everyone who wishes to participate and their number of binge-free/below 900 calories per day streaks.

The link is to a Google sheet [here](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_jDLKpHi8LhFwcB9VTdS1h-LRkcvpuu8JZdmMmYrma0/edit?pli=1#gid=0)

The way this works is you enter your username, and starting tomorrow, if you don't binge or if you stay below 900 (you may adapt to your own personal goals), then you add a 1 at the end of the day. The next day, if you meet your own goals, add a 2, and so on. At the end of the week, we'll rank usernames from most binge-free days to least. If you binge, you start back at 0.

The Estimate Calories per day is for if you want to list how many calories you eat per day on average.

The tally starts on October 21 (tomorrow). So you need to be binge free tomorrow/(or today, depending on what 10/21 is for you).

For future references, if you're late to this post, you can start counting from 10/21 if you have not binged since then.

[Discussion] To the person who was worried about throwing up on the frat house floor...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 20 19:55:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pksps/to_the_person_who_was_worried_about_throwing_up/
---
Don't consume anything red... If you purge it will be terrifying

Leaving Reddit
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 20 18:43:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pkizw/leaving_reddit/
---
Hey all,

I'm leaving reddit. I'm going to delete my account probably later tonight and some of my threads. I've enjoyed moderating this sub and seeing it grow. I worked really hard to bring users here in the beginning when this sub was empty, so it's pretty neat to see the community that this has become today.

Anyway, I won't be back on reddit, so I guess I just want to say goodbye to everyone whom I've come to know on this sub and on other subs. I haven't been on reddit long, but I've enjoyed reading the posts here and talking to people.

Thanks everyone for being there when I had no one. A lot of you don't know it, but some things you've said to me have made all the difference.

Life is short and terribly beautiful, and I wish that I were in a better position to experience it all, but I'm happy for what I've have. I've realized in the last few hours how so many things that worry me and that I fear mean so little. In a way, I'm rising above those fears. I'm not afraid now, and I won't be afraid anymore.

At this moment, all the memories that matter to me are those spent with other people, so to anyone reading, put yourself out there and spend time with other people. Though you might be content spending time alone or hiding from others, that's not what you're going to remember when you look back. That's not what the core parts of your life are made of. Be happy for the people who make you feel alive, and don't be afraid to do what makes you afraid.

Life is for the living, and death is for the free. Life gets hard, but you'll always look back at it and be happy for what you had. One day it will be over for you too. We're just instances in the evolution of life on Earth. One day when our names are gone from the records, we'll fade from existence and be truly gone. But you'll know as I do now, that it doesn't really matter.

Good luck,

Knyburg

[Help] [help] Alcohol, cigarettes, and coffee
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 20 18:19:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pkfg5/help_alcohol_cigarettes_and_coffee/
---
The only calories I can justify are alcohol (Sauvignon Blanc) and coffee with non dairy milk. I know alcohol causes the body to process it before anything else (I.e. Burning fat) but if I'm going to take in calories, I would rather not waste them on food. I can barely stand adding milk to my coffee but I usually use hemp milk which is very nutritious, albeit caloric.

Basically, I'm wondering if there are any other proed alcoholics here, and if you want to talk. I'm feeling kind of alone.

[Discussion] Not eating dinner tonight.
/u/BathtubApplesauce [5'2"|137.5lb|26.3|-21.5lb|F]
Created: Tue Oct 20 18:18:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pkfeg/not_eating_dinner_tonight/
---
I used to be able to fast, exercise on low calorie intake and purge no problem. Now I've let myself go and I can't do any of those things. I've been slowly trying to scale back my calories and I'm at around 1000/day now, but tonight I spent my entire evening on Reddit instead of studying for a midterm I have tomorrow that I'm totally unprepared for. And I was so mad at myself, so miserable and disgusted, that I decided not to eat dinner, because I didn't deserve to reward myself if I'm going to be a flake like this. I instantly felt a million times better. At least I have *some* self-discipline.

So now I'm "only" at 775 calories for today and I'm going to coffee fast tomorrow. Fat lazy slobs don't get to eat.

[Discussion] Discussion: anyone tried the green coffee bean/Garcinia Cambodia complex?
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Tue Oct 20 16:54:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pk3ht/discussion_anyone_tried_the_green_coffee/
---
(Cambogia not Cambodia. Stupid iPhone) Walgreens had a huge sale. They're usually $24-30 and they're $6 right now. I've heard good things but also that they don't do much. I picked up a box. Anyone who has tried it I'd love to hear your story. I'll also follow up after a week with my results/findings.

[Discussion] DAE have health problems from long term restricting and fasting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 20 15:35:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pjrla/dae_have_health_problems_from_long_term/
---
Ive lost a lot of weight from restricting since May, and Im getting a little nervous because although my weight loss is awesome and I dont want to stop, I think my body is suffering. Anyone else have low vitamin D, or iron, chest pains or thinning hair?

[Discussion] What's the most you've lost in a month?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 20 13:56:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pjb32/whats_the_most_youve_lost_in_a_month/
---
[deleted]

[Help] HELP! What should I eat before drinking that won't look gross when I throw up on a frat house floor?
/u/caribblue [5'6 | 135.4 | 22ish | -14 | Frat princess]
Created: Tue Oct 20 12:59:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pj1it/help_what_should_i_eat_before_drinking_that_wont/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] How much do Kpop idols weigh?
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Tue Oct 20 11:12:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pijrh/how_much_do_kpop_idols_weigh/
---
I'm creepy, I know. But the weight on their profiles is obviously wrong. It always says something like 97 pounds but then it says the girl is 5'6 and looks relatively healthy. And how they get those waists idek. [Yuri](http://i.imgur.com/wQSQGwb.jpg) looks pretty curvy but she has a 21 inch waist wtf! I'm really curious. :( They probably have smaller frames than me so they're obviously look different. Sometimes I wish I had a smaller frame so I can be tiny without looking very sick.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 20, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 20 10:04:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pi97i/daily_food_diary_october_20_2015/
---
[removed]

[Goal] It's a slow march, but I'm making progress
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 20 09:04:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pi00l/its_a_slow_march_but_im_making_progress/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Good Thinspiring TV shows?
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 97 | 19 | -18| F]
Created: Tue Oct 20 07:13:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3phkig/good_thinspiring_tv_shows/
---
I've been enjoying Super Size vs Super Skinny for a while now. (Love seeing all the other people living on few calories compared with the gluttons we don't want to be) but I wondered if anyone knew of any other good shows for keeping motivated? Both shows about the problems/gross-ness of being fat and about practicing restricted eating (in a positive light) would be awesome!

[Discussion] Introduction and Start of ABC
/u/abc4xmas [5'4| 185lbs | 32.38 | 0 | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 20 04:15:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ph2fj/introduction_and_start_of_abc/
---
Hi everyone.
Longtime lurker, but using a brand new profile because some people know my normal name.

Short and sweet introduction: I'm mid-20s, mom of one. HW: 185, CW: 185, LW: 115, GW: 140, UGW: 115 (and beyond?)

I had a restrict/binge/restrict/restrict pattern in high school and kept myself around 115 when I wasn't lazy. Ever since pregnancy I haven't had any control over myself and am completely disgusting. I have done the ABC diet in the past as a kickstart, because it's easier for me to start with a harsh detox, so that is what I'm doing now. We're seeing family/friends this holiday and they cannot see me this disgusting!

I'll be posting in the daily food log and progress. I've never been this heavy before so I don't know how much to expect to lose in the 50 days, but my goal is to finish it under 150 lbs and then decide from there what new restriction to move to.

I love this sub and everything you all post. Talk to you soon!

[CCW] Need constructive criticism... F/5'2"/102
/u/Betweengreen
Created: Tue Oct 20 00:21:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pgjyl/need_constructive_criticism_f52102/
---
http://imgur.com/9FLPuKo

My fiancƩ bought me a treadmill for my bday and snapped this... I wanted to post the pic but as soon as I saw it I wanted to puke. I can't stop staring at it. I'm down 13 pounds (over a year's time) and I look the SAME as before. My legs make me wanna die.... I already run 2 miles a day and restrict to 600. I don't know why I can't lose weight but I'm really losing hope:(

CC as to how much more I should lose and maybe how to alter my routine to get there...

Thank you <3

[Discussion] Does anyone else ....
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Mon Oct 19 23:53:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pghds/does_anyone_else/
---
Does anyone else feel like they can see the food they just are on their body ? Like I might be feeling okay body wise then eat something and suddenly I can see fat start to pool on my stomach and thighs ....

[Discussion] It's not okay to binge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 19 21:44:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pg2ug/its_not_okay_to_binge/
---
Telling yourself after you binge that "it's okay and that one binge won't make you a whale" is what overweight/obese people do after they binge. It leads to a mindset that lets you keep binging because every time before a binge, you can sort of tell yourself that one binge won't make you fat, and then you'll keep binging. You'll tell yourself that you'll be serious after and that it won't happen again, but choosing to binge is setting yourself up for future failure because there's nothing stopping you from telling yourself this again and again.

It's not okay to binge. Don't comfort yourself when you do. You have failed, and you have to accept that. You're another step farther from your goals and closer to being fat.

[Discussion] Hi, everyone.
/u/alluring_nymphet [5'7" | 137lbs | 21.46 |-35lbs | female]
Created: Mon Oct 19 20:32:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pft3i/hi_everyone/
---
So... my name is Chloe. I'm 18 years old, and I've been living with an ED for a few years now. At first, I thought it was a normal thing that girls go through. Around the same time that I started really losing weight, I started getting really bad depression. I thought that the reason that I had been losing weight was because I was just too exhausted with everything to eat. And I liked it. I liked the way I looked, and I wanted to be smaller. After a while, I started needing to see the scale show a lower number than the week before. Then it was the day before, and eventually the hour before. In May of 2014, I attempted suicide and when I got put in the hospital, I could barely walk. I'm still not sure if it was my attempt or my ED or both. I hid my food during my stay there, and since no one knew about my problem, no one was checking to make sure I ate. At that point in time, I was around 125, 130 pounds. Which is thin for me I guess. Anyway, after I turned 18 I realized that I could buy weight loss pills and mixes and everything I wanted. It's really becone out of control, and I just... I need people to understand. I don't want to get help. I'm just starting to like the way I look. I need some friends while I go through this. I want to feel good in my body again.

[Discussion] Cooking for others when restricting?
/u/LittleBittyGoat [5'4 | 108 | 18.9 | -30 | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 19 20:32:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pft0k/cooking_for_others_when_restricting/
---
I don't know if this will work for anyone else (especially those with binge urges) but I find it really helpful to cook extensive meals for other people when I'm restricting. If people ask why you aren't taking any you can say you are out of the pan in the kitchen, but didn't want to get a plate dirty etc. Plus then you have dishes to do which keeps hand busy! Do any of you guys enjoy cooking as a way to avoid actually eating food?

[Discussion] No more excuses
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 19 19:44:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pfmhe/no_more_excuses/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Skinny thighs & thigh gaps (50 pics)
/u/calorified
Created: Mon Oct 19 15:12:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pek1y/skinny_thighs_thigh_gaps_50_pics/
---
http://imgur.com/a/jsUDw

[Thinspo] [thinspo] fade to black
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 19 11:45:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pdo3m/thinspo_fade_to_black/
---
http://i.imgur.com/uIapfFF.jpg

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 19, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 19 10:05:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pd8td/daily_food_diary_october_19_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 19, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] I shouldn't have binged.
/u/ExcessEverything [5' | 175 | 34 | -12lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 19 09:58:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pd7wr/i_shouldnt_have_binged/
---
I just consumed a disgustingly huge amount of calories and I hate myself. I lost control, I was weak, I forgot my goals.
Does anyone else feel like they enter into a stupor when they binge? I swear when I do it's like I'm in a fugue state. I become somebody else, a much more animalistic version of a human. I am in a fog.

The good thing is that, after this slip, I have promised myself that the next time I get a craving, I will look at my Pinterest thinspo board, which I have strategically named: "PLEASE DON'T BINGE :("

Carry water, chop wood.

[Help] What does your exercise routine look like?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 19 09:45:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pd5zi/what_does_your_exercise_routine_look_like/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! October 19, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 19 06:08:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pcedg/weekly_stats_update_october_19_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 19, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] Diet supplements that aren't suspicious... [advice]
/u/radioactiveicedtea [5'3.75"|108|19.09|-30|F]
Created: Sun Oct 18 23:32:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pbic4/diet_supplements_that_arent_suspicious_advice/
---
I want to help suppress my apetite. Right now I down crazy amounts of caffeine and liquids and take a apple cider vinegar supplement which helps, but isn't perfect. Is there another supplement out there that is effective? I need something that I can leave sitting on a counter or in plain sight that does not look...suspicous. I have had a woman who cleans my house express concern over me having bulimia (I do not, more in favor of calorie resistriction and I am at a "healthy" bmi so I found it odd...) so I do not want her to see diet pills or anything in my room.

Also I belive I need flair for this subreddit? I will add/fix that as soon as I am not on mobile.

[Thinspo] Frances Bean Cobain Before and After
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 18 22:01:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3pb982/frances_bean_cobain_before_and_after/
---
http://imgur.com/a/hMAaC

[Discussion] DAE get really emotional when deciding what to eat or how much to eat? Or when having to eat what others have prepared?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 18 20:22:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3paxnc/dae_get_really_emotional_when_deciding_what_to/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3paxnc/dae_get_really_emotional_when_deciding_what_to/

[Thinspo] Arch
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 18 19:52:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3patvc/arch/
---
http://i.imgur.com/d1n7mwu.jpg

[Tip] Sitting will slow your metabolism, squat instead
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 18 19:03:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3panq7/sitting_will_slow_your_metabolism_squat_instead/
---
http://besynchro.com/blogs/blog/10612681-your-chair-is-killing-you-time-to-start-squatting

[Help] Help: I don't think I can exercise anymore, getting really weak.
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Sun Oct 18 12:15:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p94a5/help_i_dont_think_i_can_exercise_anymore_getting/
---
I usually run 5k in the morning. Lately I've been restricting to absolutely no more than 400cal a day. As a result, I can't get beyond about a mile before I feel like passing out.

Those of you restricting below 500cal a day,
Do you exercise and if yes, how do you do it? Is there something less high impact that will burn A lot of calories and not create muscle?

I know restricting alone is good for weight loss but I want faster results so I usually overextended myself running. :( help.

[Discussion] Joun me on my fast?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 18 11:19:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p8wh6/joun_me_on_my_fast/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 18, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 18 10:04:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p8m89/daily_food_diary_october_18_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 18, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] Opinions ??
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Sun Oct 18 03:48:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p7mwd/opinions/
---
http://imgur.com/JZ1qAKU

[Help] I think I am okay with my legs ... Honest critique ??
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Sun Oct 18 01:07:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p7csk/i_think_i_am_okay_with_my_legs_honest_critique/
---
http://imgur.com/nNE47Xb

[Thinspo] Tiny Waist
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Sun Oct 18 00:11:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p78n7/tiny_waist/
---
http://i.imgur.com/6qEC9i6.jpg

[Help] Good clothes to buy while losing weight?
/u/losemore
Created: Sun Oct 18 00:01:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p77ui/good_clothes_to_buy_while_losing_weight/
---
So I've had to spend so so much money on clothes this past year or so it's starting to get ridiculous. I drop a clothing size every month and then my clothes just look super baggy and unflattering :( What are some good items of clothing to buy that will look good while losing weight?

[Discussion] What's the best fast you've ever had, and how much weight did you lose?
/u/sternums [5'2 | 149 | 27.2 | 1.6 lbs | F | oink oink]
Created: Sat Oct 17 22:19:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p6yo1/whats_the_best_fast_youve_ever_had_and_how_much/
---
I'm fasting on my day off tomorrow, but I was wondering if I should go 48 hrs instead.
(Sorry I can't flair, I'm on mobile!)

[Discussion] When was the moment you realised you had disordered eating?
/u/losemore
Created: Sat Oct 17 18:57:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p6d8j/when_was_the_moment_you_realised_you_had/
---
I'd love to hear your stories :)

[Discussion] Thoughts on psyllium husk?
/u/Itsemurha [5'9 | 82kg | 25.94 | -38kg | F]
Created: Sat Oct 17 17:34:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p63g1/thoughts_on_psyllium_husk/
---
Apparently it helps you feel more full and adds fiber to your diet. I was thinking of adding it to my tea to help tide me over meals. Do any of you use it? Thoughts?

[Goal] Small signs that have me more motivated!
/u/heartshapesANDninjas [5' 5"|140.2lbs|22 | 15.8lbs down | F]
Created: Sat Oct 17 17:29:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p62tj/small_signs_that_have_me_more_motivated/
---
I have been so frustrated. I'm losing weight but not nearly as fast as I want.

Today I got some signs that I am actually changing though!!

1. My watch used to be worn at the largest (7th) little notch. Now I am at the third largest (5th)!

2. My knee high boots used to be hard to zip up around my calf. Now they're loose!

3. Though he's said nothing about my weight or shrinking, my BF is more affectionate. He touches my waist more than ever. He's been picking me up (something he's never done before!)

So I'm really excited that even though it feels like I'm not losing, these signs prove I am. Gotta stay strong!!!

How long have you been losing weight?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 17 17:10:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p60hg/how_long_have_you_been_losing_weight/
---
[removed]

[Help] Can't sleep when I haven't eaten, help??
/u/losemore
Created: Sat Oct 17 14:52:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p5ixm/cant_sleep_when_i_havent_eaten_help/
---
So I've been crazy restricting lately. Not eating anything at all during the day and trying to fast. But I find at night when I'm trying to sleep, if i haven't eaten anything during the day I can't sleep! Last night I ate some vege frittata to help me sleep and fell asleep literally 10 minutes after eating it. I'm so annoyed with myself though because I really want to be able to fast for consecutive days. Any tips on being able to sleep on an empty stomach? I'm thinking it may just be a mind thing so going to attempt to sleep tonight without eating and just fight those urges.

[Help] Intense cold after drinking cold liquids?
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'3'' | 110 | 19.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 17 14:39:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p5h4s/intense_cold_after_drinking_cold_liquids/
---
Hello everyone! I have recently found myself getting terribly chilly whenever I have a couple glasses of ice water or a smoothie. Any advice? I love ice water so I definitely don't want to drink less, I just don't want to feel so cold all the time.

[Discussion] Motivation For Exersice.
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 101 | 16.4| F]
Created: Sat Oct 17 10:56:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p4nmd/motivation_for_exersice/
---
When restricting, you have less energie to step up and exercise, I guess you feel the same. What I do to keep going and dont stop is train without a tshirt, just my top in front of the mirror, so I remember why should I keep going.
How you motivate yourself?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 17, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 17 10:04:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p4gnc/daily_food_diary_october_17_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 17, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] How do you all feel when you look at your "before" photos?
/u/Journeytothin [5'6 | 129.9 | 21.0 | f]
Created: Sat Oct 17 08:16:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p43gn/how_do_you_all_feel_when_you_look_at_your_before/
---
(I know most of us probably aren't ready to quite take an "after" picture, but still a work-in-progress picture haha.)

But when I look at my definite before pictures, I have one of two reactions. Sometimes I look back and think wow, I'm proud I lost weight! Other times I cry because I feel so embarrassed that I ever got that bad/am so SO so afraid I'll get back up to that weight. (I started at a pretty high weight, :/ sadly.)

Just wondering how you all felt!

[Goal] Arm progress. 39 pounds lost. Long long way to go but feeling pretty damn proud of myself at the moment!
/u/losemore
Created: Sat Oct 17 03:59:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p3hmf/arm_progress_39_pounds_lost_long_long_way_to_go/
---
http://imgur.com/Q5bNcSM

[Discussion] When you binge and you're annoyed that you're full
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 17 00:31:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p33t7/when_you_binge_and_youre_annoyed_that_youre_full/
---
Does anyone else get this? Like you start a binge and you eat like 4 things and you're at around 800 calories now. And you're so full. Like the idea of eating makes you sick, but the cravings don't go away, so you keep eating. And you're annoyed at yourself because you're eating so much and you can't even really enjoy it because you're not hungry.

[Help] Welp fuck...
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Fri Oct 16 23:53:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p30ve/welp_fuck/
---
I binged for the fist time in months . I hit 2200 cals and it is honestly making me want to die ......

[Discussion] I'm not lying -- I really am sick.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 16 22:52:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p2vpl/im_not_lying_i_really_am_sick/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I slipped up this week and I need to hold myself accountable.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 16 22:19:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p2sqd/i_slipped_up_this_week_and_i_need_to_hold_myself/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Restricting?
/u/Rotschopf_Junkie
Created: Fri Oct 16 20:15:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p2fzs/restricting/
---
I've seen a lot of different calorie counts for people who are restricting. I know that how you restrict totally depends on your body, your goals, and your ED. So, I definitely don't judge people who restrict at a higher caloric rate than me. I do get jealous of people who restrict at lower caloric levels. I think that's just the nature of the beast though.

Anyway, when you are restricting the way you would ideally, where does that put your calorie intake for the day? This is in NO WAY supposed to be a competitive thing. I just really want to see where other people feel comfortable,

For me, I like to restrict to under 500 calories a day. That's the goal anyway.

:)

[Thinspo] 121 artistic thinspo pics
/u/calorified
Created: Fri Oct 16 16:24:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p1p6w/121_artistic_thinspo_pics/
---
http://imgur.com/a/MBb91

[Help] Comments on your weight, BMI numbers, comparing yourself to others; how to know where you really stand?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 16 15:12:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p1fmd/comments_on_your_weight_bmi_numbers_comparing/
---
[deleted]

[Help] what do you eat to feel fuller?
/u/drbiatch [162 cm |54 kg | 20.58 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 16 14:59:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p1dr0/what_do_you_eat_to_feel_fuller/
---
Hey everyone,

First of all, I love this sub.
You all inspire me and motivate me so thx !

I'm trying to eat below 600 cals a day, but as you can guess I'm sometimes really starving. What kind of food do you guys eat/what do you do to feel fuller? ie what are safe foods?

Thank you !!

[Help] How to guarantee you make it through the first day?
/u/lifetc
Created: Fri Oct 16 13:48:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p13fd/how_to_guarantee_you_make_it_through_the_first_day/
---
When you're trying to break the cycle, do you have any like rituals / strategies to help get through the first day?

You know when you just want to stop thinking about food completely, like you just want to give it up entirely - not even because of losing weight, just because you're sick of thinking about it? That's how I feel. I don't even mind waiting until I'm psycho-hungry to eat - I just can't stand thinking about how much I hate myself 24/7. I never really got the idea of those 'ana plans' - like the ABC diet or whatever - but at this point I just want to hand over thinking about food to someone else. Like, have a plan on my wall, and I can look at it and be like "This says I can eat 200 calories today, so I'm going to do that, and that's that." Stop me if this sounds crazy, obviously.

I've been trying not to try too hard because I guess I want to sort of think of myself as 'in recovery'. But needs must etc.

Plan for tomorrow is stuff like staying in bed, netflix, thinspo on tap, that kind of thing. Any other helpful suggestions appreciated.

[Tip] Fastetics Dice Fasting: A fasting protocol based on a dice roll
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 16 11:00:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p0ebm/fastetics_dice_fasting_a_fasting_protocol_based/
---
I saw this on /r/ fasting and thought it looked interesting. I wonder if it'd work for anyone here?

Here's a summary--

> [**Fastetics Dice Fasting Protocol**](http://fastetics.com/2015/10/16/fastetics-dice-fasting/)
>
> Take a die with 1-6 numbered on each side. Roll it at the end of your last meal on each day.
>
> The number you roll will dictate how you eat over the next 24 hours:
>
> 1. No fasting. Eat as normal.
> 1. Fast for 12 hours
> 1. Fast for 15 hours
> 1. Fast for 20 hours
> 1. Fast for 23 hours (Not 24 and Iā€™ll explain why)
>
> Say you finish your last meal at 9pm on Sunday. Letā€™s roll the dice!
>
> * 3: 15 hour fast coming up, that takes us to noon on Monday. That means you are free to eat until 9pm on Monday. Roll the dieā€¦
> * 1: No fasting. Eat as normal until 9pm on Tuesday. Roll the dieā€¦
> * 2: 12 hour fast coming up. Stop eating at 9pm on Tuesday and eat again at 9am on Wednesday. Roll the dieā€¦
> * 5: 23 hour fast coming up, which takes you to 8pm on Thursday. Roll the dieā€¦
> * 5: 23 hour fast coming up, which takes you to 8pm on Friday. Roll the dieā€¦
> * 1: No fasting. Eat freely until 9pm on Saturday. Roll the dieā€¦
> * 4: 20 hour fast taking you 5pm on Sunday. Roll the die and start the week again.
>
> Pros:
>
> Stops overthinking
>
> * Keeps the fasting fresh and interesting
> * Mimics more of a hunter gatherer pattern (in the wild you wouldnā€™t know when you were eating until you got your next kill, in a sense, the dice decides when that will be)
> * Helps you understand your own preferences in terms of protocols
> * Will help with fat loss and general health
>
> Cons:
>
> * Hard to plan
> * No routine so your body doesnā€™t get used to a certain pattern
> * It isnā€™t optimised for your goals (to the extent thatā€™s possible)
> * No longer fasting periods

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 16, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 16 10:04:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3p061o/daily_food_diary_october_16_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 16, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] Next week, I'll be home alone with no one watching me eat. How should I take advantage of this?
/u/NinjaButler [5'3 | 96 | 17.48 | -40 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 16 08:52:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ozv74/next_week_ill_be_home_alone_with_no_one_watching/
---
My dad's going on a buisness trip on another continent. My sisters are going to stay with my mom, but I'm staying in the empty house to take care of the cat. This means I can eat or not eat anything I want, and no one will care!

Last time I stayed alone for a week, I didn't plan at all so it was kind of a huge failure. This time, I'm going to pick a diet and stick with it.

I've come up with a few choices:

* Apple mono up to 550 cals a day

* 2 packets of oatmeal and a carton of almond milk (440 cals a day)

* Tofu mono at 340-510 cals a day (2-3 blocks)

The obvious choice would be the lowest calorie option, but I'm not sure. Any suggestions? And if anyone wants to do this with me, that's be super cool!

[Discussion] Viibryd weight loss?
/u/Jedmadar
Created: Fri Oct 16 08:37:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ozt5e/viibryd_weight_loss/
---
I have just been put on a new anti depressant called Viibryd. Has anyone had weight loss due to this drug?

[Discussion] How much do you guess is the amount needed to be lost to see any big change in the breast size? Experiences?
/u/Countdown2Control [5'4" | 136 | 23.8 | 40 down |FTM]
Created: Fri Oct 16 06:24:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ozczg/how_much_do_you_guess_is_the_amount_needed_to_be/
---
I need to go down a cup size and just want other people's experiences doing that.

So, if you lost a size or know someone who did. Please, tell me how much you or they lost before that happened.

This is just for my reference. I know for some people even with weight loss, their breasts stay the same size.

I really hate mine. I accept that AA is as low as I can get before people start asking questions. I went from a B to an A, so I know it's possible for me.

Thanks for any help.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! October 16, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 16 06:07:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ozb8v/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_october_16/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for October 16, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[CCW] So Far So Good!
/u/tylerisalittleshit
Created: Fri Oct 16 00:43:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oyl2g/so_far_so_good/
---
http://i.imgur.com/Lgg3FCH.jpg

[Discussion] Eating Disorders
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Fri Oct 16 00:23:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oyjch/eating_disorders/
---
Eating disorders.. all of them... are illnesses. Your mind, your brain, it is not healthy nor is it functioning properly. It is not about what weight you are, or what type of behaviours you engage in.

If you spend every day waking up to the thought of how you wish everything about your body was different, then you are unwell.

an eating disorder I not a case of a diet gone wrong, it is not a fad or a trend, it is a serious and debilitating illness that takes many lives.

I was a healthy 14 year old girl and then my eating disorder popped up. a separate being came into my head and told me I was not good enough, that I could be perfect if I could have control over my food. I became consumed, and now I'm nearly 23 and facing my 4th admission for something that is out of my control.

I would never wish an ED on anyone, and I am sure none of you would either.

Just know that you are not alone, that your eating disorder is not you and while there is a constant pull between 'not good enough' and 'perfection' there is no winning.

be kind to yourselves <3

[Help] Just ate, to purge or not to purge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 15 18:51:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oxi5s/just_ate_to_purge_or_not_to_purge/
---
So I've stopped binging mostly, but just now I ate too much. I don't know if I should purge or not. On one hand, if I purge, I save myself the calories but then I might start binging again. I don't know, I shouldn't purge but this feeling is disgusting. I ate two bites of a brownie and it made me feel disgusting. I should purge, it was way too many calories, but I shouldn't because this time wasn't even a binge. If I purge, I could make this much worse but I feel so disgusting.

[Discussion] What foods are on your "I-will-die-before-I-put-that-in-my-mouth" list?
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 15 11:01:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ovmcw/what_foods_are_on_your/
---
For me:

- Beef/veal (steak)
- Cephalopods (calamari, etc.)
- Duck/goose (including *foie gras*)
- Chicken
- Lamb
- edit to add: "regular" (sugar) sodas/soft drinks/energy drinks
- fruit juices

I also try really hard to avoid dairy in general--although I'm less strict about it when it's an ingredient in something else. This is true for eggs as well; I cannot in good conscious eat eggs unless they come from happy chickens (free range, typically local, etc.)

I also avoid soy 99% of the time, but unfortunately can't get by without soy lecithin :p

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 15, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 15 10:04:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ovdyw/daily_food_diary_october_15_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 15, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] ISO: Accountabilibuddy
/u/whatareyoucooking
Created: Thu Oct 15 09:25:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ov84t/iso_accountabilibuddy/
---
[removed]

[Help] [Help] Being pushed into inpatient, trying to wreck my body as much as possible till then.
/u/ChokingTG [5' 10" | 124 | 17.63 | -11 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 15 06:55:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ouo65/help_being_pushed_into_inpatient_trying_to_wreck/
---
Hi there,

So at the end of august (2.5 months ago) I ended up in the hospital for a suicide attempt. I was 130lbs, if i was a pound or two less they would have put me in to the ED ward, but because I was being viewed as a cis-male (im a transwoman). Pretty sure they didnt believe that my ED was a big enough issue, told them about it, and i even purged meals while there. Afterwards, instead of them putting me into partial hospitalization, they allowed me to go straight into Intensive Outpatient.

After 2-3 weeks at the IOP I wasn't making any progress. They realized that i never did the PHP...they also realized I have really bad eating habits which verge on (is an) ED...I can't purge because I lost my two front teeth in a bike accident, so in the past two weeks, I've been restricting and have gone from 130 -> 124...

125 was my goal weight, and 120 was my ultimate goal weight, but now that I KNOW i have to go to inpatient and i'm trying to destroy my body as much as possible to give them what they want. I would be completely happy maintaining at 125, but I know they won't allow me to do that. So why not get as low as i can go.

This seems delusional and absolutely insane, but in my head it seems perfectly logical, cause Fuck them. My friends who i'm open about my ED too are upset at me.

[Discussion] What happens 1 hour after eating a Big Mac
/u/Banshee__Queen [5'2" | 125 | 23.1 | -10 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 15 06:00:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ouic0/what_happens_1_hour_after_eating_a_big_mac/
---
http://imgur.com/O0uGLwS

[Tip] May help people who need reasons for not eating, or restricting food groups.
/u/kietaionna
Created: Thu Oct 15 02:22:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ou0jl/may_help_people_who_need_reasons_for_not_eating/
---
There are many food intolerance blood tests (I think they're called IgG?) you can get for relatively cheap over here in Australia, a couple hundred dollars at the most. However most of the literature on the subject agrees they don't work properly, with heaps of false positives appearing. My personal story is I got one of these done, and I received an official looking document in the mail saying I had a high level food intolerance to soy, sulphites and some other stuff. So now I have an excuse to not eat certain foods around my family and friends, as well as saying I don't want to eat 'safe' foods sometimes because I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me earlier. Can also be really good in that, every so often you can make a point of eating something you're 'intolerant' to just because you really want it, which is a publicly perceived 'healthier' approach to food (omg guyz I just HAD to eat this chocolate). Iuno it's not a foolproof tip or anything but it worked well on my friends and family. You can even make up that you got the test if you have friends or family that don't need 'proof'.

[Help] How to stop binging and purging cycle?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 15 01:20:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3otvws/how_to_stop_binging_and_purging_cycle/
---
For the past 3 weeks the only days I haven't b/p are the days I've fasted, and I haven't fasted in a week. I don't know what to do, I just can't stop binging and purging, and I feel like I actually kind of enjoy the purging, so even when I tell myself I won't purge if I binge I do. I have become really good at purging as well; I can do it without shoving anything down my throat, so now I can't even use the pain of being overstuffed or scratching the back of my throat to stop me from binging.

[Help] Well I just went to my weekly appt ....
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Wed Oct 14 23:07:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3otk1b/well_i_just_went_to_my_weekly_appt/
---
The good news (well sort of) is that I hit a bmi of exactly 15 .... The bad news is that my doc is telling me I have the weekend to voluntarily admit myself for treatment or she will force it on me .... Fml I am terrified

[Help] Motivation?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 14 22:24:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3otfjr/motivation/
---
Hey guys, I'm fairly new here. I've been going back and forth with my eating for a while now, going from restricting heavily to binging to trying to eat normally to eating obsessively healthy. I'm not sure what I want anymore, all I know is that I'm sick of being so fat and disgusting. I keep resolving to restrict again but by the end of the day I just want to binge on everything. What helps you guys when you feel like you want to give up?

[Help] [Help] Left arm is significantly smaller than the right from running with phone in hand!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 14 21:43:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3otaz7/help_left_arm_is_significantly_smaller_than_the/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] My introduction, my conundrums, and my life. Hi!
/u/Rotschopf_Junkie
Created: Wed Oct 14 18:10:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3osjtz/my_introduction_my_conundrums_and_my_life_hi/
---
Hey everyone, I've lurked around here before. I really like that there's a lot of discussion here and not just a lot of thinspo. I like thinspo as much as the next girl, but I also need a place to relate to people.
Now, I'm in recovery in more than one way. I am a heroin addict. I went to rehab recently and got clean. I am still clean, but I gained a lot of weight in the process. I'm fairly average sized now. Heroin made it really really easy to restrict and lose weight for the first time in my life, and it covered for my ED because hey, all junkies are skinny, right? (No) but I need to move on.
Since I've been back home, I've been restricting again. Mostly by eating raw vegan (just raw fruits and veggies for the most part). It's hard to get back on track, but I know what I want to be. Who I want to be. How I want to be perceived. I miss when people would call me skinny and worry over my weight. It made me feel proud. I even actually liked it when my boyfriend said I was getting too thin and that my breasts were disappearing. I know it's sick, but it's how I want to be.
I hope that I can be a part of this community and will be accepted. I love receiving words of encouragement from other people with ED.
Also, feel free to ask any questions you may have. I'm an open book!
Thanks guys.

[Discussion] TIL about the AspireAssist: A device that allows people to 'aspirate' (drain) a portion of their stomach contents into the toilet after each meal through a small tube and a stoma on the abdomen.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Wed Oct 14 16:45:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3os8b2/til_about_the_aspireassist_a_device_that_allows/
---
http://aspirebariatrics.com/

[Discussion] I once confided in a boyfriend and told him about my ED
/u/radrax [5'6" | 147lbs | 23.7 | Female]
Created: Wed Oct 14 15:52:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3os0uy/i_once_confided_in_a_boyfriend_and_told_him_about/
---
I was in recovery and felt comfortable telling him. When we broke up, he used it against me, and said I was lying about it because I was still fat. I just remembered that today.

Edit: sorry I think it was unclear that this happened years ago. I was the one that broke it off, and that's because he was an asshole. I do really appreciate the kind comments I'm getting, though. I've lurked on this sub mostly, but this community is really sweet and supportive.

[Help] Please read
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 14 10:39:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oqpnz/please_read/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 14, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 14 10:04:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oqkgw/daily_food_diary_october_14_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 14, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] How many of you are married or have boy/girlfriends?
/u/cranberrycrush
Created: Wed Oct 14 09:58:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oqjif/how_many_of_you_are_married_or_have_boygirlfriends/
---
How many of you are married, or are in a couple?

(I can't use the P word because the post gets filtered)

How many of you have partners?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 14 09:45:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oqhll/how_many_of_you_have_partners/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Yoga [M+F thinspo]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 14 01:10:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3op05a/yoga_mf_thinspo/
---
http://www.katarinailic.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Cool-Yoga-Pose-on-Beach.jpg

[Discussion] Fruitarian/HCLF?
/u/childshair [5'7" | 108.6 | 17 | -5.4 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 13 23:19:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oopsk/fruitarianhclf/
---
Thoughts on this change of diet? I've been trying to go on it and eating more fruit, I lost like 2lbs on it but then eventually binged on cooked food.
I'm also sick right now and I've barely eaten anything today! I forgot to eat breakfast and lunch because I've been so busy and I just ate dinner lol hooray for being sick! but I feel like crap as well

[CCW] Well I got out of bed and took this pic
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Tue Oct 13 19:53:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oo170/well_i_got_out_of_bed_and_took_this_pic/
---
http://imgur.com/1zupK5C

[Help] Feeling down .... Need some motivation
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Tue Oct 13 19:47:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oo0cx/feeling_down_need_some_motivation/
---
I know I need to exercise but I have not gotten out of bed for 18hrs now .... I need to pick myself up ...

[Help] Diet pills?
/u/DivingRightIn
Created: Tue Oct 13 17:57:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3onlwq/diet_pills/
---
Hello lovelies,
I was curious if any of you have tried dieting pills to inhibit apetite (I dont care about anything else like "boosts metabolism" or "stops fat storage" cause that's all a load of hooha)... I'm in the market to buy some but I don't know anything about them. I would love some recommendations! :)
Thank you all! Stay strong!

[Goal] [NSV] I got a pleasant surprise when I stepped on the scale!
/u/electric-bones [5'5" | 116 | 19.3 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 13 15:41:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3on2wf/nsv_i_got_a_pleasant_surprise_when_i_stepped_on/
---
http://imgur.com/0gW46pr

[Thinspo] [thinspo] How's it feel to be you, yo no sƩ
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 13 13:08:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3omf48/thinspo_hows_it_feel_to_be_you_yo_no_sƩ/
---
http://i.imgur.com/mAvpR5k.jpg

[Goal] Finally in the 90s!
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Tue Oct 13 11:17:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3olxyy/finally_in_the_90s/
---
http://i.imgur.com/cEmLPQF.jpg

[Discussion] Back on the game after an accident.
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 101 | 16.4| F]
Created: Tue Oct 13 10:17:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3olp2x/back_on_the_game_after_an_accident/
---
Hi all =]

3 weeks ago I had a bike accident I broke 2 theeth 2 fingers and my bike. That pushed me out of my routine of training. Additional to that my mom's boyfriend came from Italy and we were eating out a lot, I could pick the place just one ( a raw vegan cafe ) but the rest were hard. I gained some weight back and that feels aweful. So I will start again with my summer routine:

Morning:

-1.2L cranberry greentea (cold)

-15 kg bike + pilates/ XHIT exercise.

-1L fruit infused water (citrics) + fruit of choice untill satisfy (usually is 1 banana or 1 apple)

Lunch:
Salad + soup with legumes.

4pm : 5 pistachos and tea.

7pm : 1.5h yoga practice.

Dinner:
Fruit, whole, icecreamed, or smoothie + small bowl of oat.

Which is your fav routine after a slip?


[Discussion] Well fuck Thanksgiving...
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Tue Oct 13 10:08:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3olnsf/well_fuck_thanksgiving/
---
Can I just say that Canadian Thanksgiving was this weekend and it's the most pointless, needlessly food-obligationy weekend and it shouldn't exist? I'm a fucking whale. Fuck Thanksgiving.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 13, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 13 10:04:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oln1p/daily_food_diary_october_13_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 13, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] Recovering from binge?
/u/athousandyearsormore
Created: Tue Oct 13 09:58:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3olm2o/recovering_from_binge/
---
Ugghh you guys, I was doing so well the past few days and then I binged today. I don't even know why, I managed to rationalise it to myself... I wound up eating a cheese sandwich, two apples and a rice cake after I came home and was about to eat more before I stopped myself. Now I feel bloated and disgusting and really angry at and ashamed of myself.

Does anyone have any advice for avoiding this, or make up for it? I'm really worried I may have thrown myself off course badly.

[Goal] My BMI has FINALLY hit the 16s!
/u/TargaryenPie [5"7 | 110 | 17.5 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 13 09:55:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3olllm/my_bmi_has_finally_hit_the_16s/
---
http://imgur.com/zOtmE7U

[Discussion] Drugs and alcohol
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Tue Oct 13 04:46:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3okkkq/drugs_and_alcohol/
---
I can't help myself .... Once I am alone I just can't stop drinking as alcohol and mixing it with valium or tamaz right now I'm high as a kite and have not eaten in twenty four hours I'm a mess .... Does anyone else mix drinking and drugs to avoid food ?

[Discussion] Couldn't help but laugh a little
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 13 04:07:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3okhd9/couldnt_help_but_laugh_a_little/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] For those of you who like constant reminders...
/u/lindzeyy [5'5"| CW 139.2 | 23.4 | -30.8 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 13 01:46:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ok69u/for_those_of_you_who_like_constant_reminders/
---
Try sendrecurring.com

It's free and you can send yourself recurring emails/texts throughout the day. I have three emails going. I wake up to one that says my goals and rules and progress, another around noon, and one at 6pm. Every single day I'm forced to stop and read a full email explaining why I'm doing what I am.

Even though I know my goals, it's too easy to get caught up in the moment sometimes and having these keeps it in the front of my mind.

I thought this might help and I really liked it.

[Thinspo] What does her bmi look like? I want to be this size (NSFW)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 12 23:27:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ojtq7/what_does_her_bmi_look_like_i_want_to_be_this/
---
http://i.imgur.com/5KXAiCT.png

[Help] How do you cope?
/u/jellicoe_road [5'10" | 152.2 | 21.80 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 12 22:38:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ojokz/how_do_you_cope/
---
I have been binging and purging since January/February, and since I've started university I've been doing it almost daily (also I gained back almost all the weight I lost in the summer). I also accidentally told my RA when I was drunk and I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. I feel so guilty all the time. I'm fat and stupid and I hate myself. I just need to write this out because I can't tell anyone about how I keep fucking up.

[Help] Fml
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Mon Oct 12 22:18:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ojmdv/fml/
---
I was on the plane ......... On it ....... About to go to new York with my bf.... And I fainted .......... Hit the ground hard and a day later he is gone and I am home alone for two weeks .....my ed wins again

[Thinspo] Thinspo: Elsa Hosk
/u/Crazyeyedbiff [5'9| CW: 162 | UGW: 110 | 24 | -8.8 lbs | F]
Created: Mon Oct 12 19:26:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oj0yz/thinspo_elsa_hosk/
---
http://imgur.com/a/NWZ9S

[Thinspo] More artsy thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 12 18:35:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oiu8p/more_artsy_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/yqhOv

[Thinspo] Some artsy thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 12 18:26:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oit40/some_artsy_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/9umoI

[Discussion] Do any of you use MFP?
/u/thebassistooloud [178cm | 140 | 20.3 | 15 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 12 12:31:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ohdk7/do_any_of_you_use_mfp/
---
I thought it might be a little extra motivator with the idea that somebody else can see whether or not you're eating or working out

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 12, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 12 10:05:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ogrlr/daily_food_diary_october_12_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 12, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[CCW] Breakfast salad ^^
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Mon Oct 12 08:14:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ogc88/breakfast_salad/
---
http://imgur.com/PMotmli

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! October 12, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 12 06:08:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ofy9t/weekly_stats_update_october_12_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 12, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] Ugh!
/u/95lbspls
Created: Mon Oct 12 02:54:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ofj2y/ugh/
---
I'm on an antibiotic (bactrim) for an infection and one of the most common side effects is loss of appetite. It's amazing for fasting. If you eat anything while taking it you throw it up within the hour. The thing is, my boyfriend overheard my throwing up and is changing my antibiotic prescription first thing tomorrow so I won't be sick anymore.

What , if anything, do you find makes you loser your appetite ? Anything over the counter or perhaps a drink? Thanks in advance.

[Discussion] The difference between a person with an ED and a crash dieter...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 11 23:21:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3of2e5/the_difference_between_a_person_with_an_ed_and_a/
---
A person with an ED doesn't give up and can stay on her/his diet. In other words, we are successful crash dieters.

If you think about it, a person with anorexia especially is basically like a normal crash dieter except he/she successfully crash diets.

I don't know if this is actually true, but I honestly believe that there is no actual disordered eating. There's only people who can diet and people who can't. I don't think I'm sick when I restrict. I'm sicker when I binge and when I eat. That's when I hate myself and feel terrible.

[Help] Purging is shitty for weight management, anyone manage to stop while still losing?
/u/glitter_void [5'8 | 165 | 24.9 | -1.4 | F | BP Monster]
Created: Sun Oct 11 22:29:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oexd7/purging_is_shitty_for_weight_management_anyone/
---
Obviously CI/CO but Jesus if it isn't hard to drop

I'm sick of being fat. I'm sick of being a chubby bulimic. I don't even like vomiting, but I've managed to get myself too far out of shape to even overexercise purge properly I'll black out in an hour..

Even fucking 600, 800 calories burned isn't enough. I used to look amazing, now I'm just enormous.

But I'm finding a fair bit of quitting purging(vomiting) causes gain and .. Is that because binges stay or because purging will cause weight loss in it's own?

idfk. I might just do SGD to jump start switching.

[Help] Those of you with flat stomachs, how did you do it? I've got a bmi of 16.6 and my stomach is so far from flat
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 11 15:51:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3odmi4/those_of_you_with_flat_stomachs_how_did_you_do_it/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Is this binging? Changing my eating schedule actually lost me a bunch of weight
/u/edadvice [Height 170CM | CW 120 | BMI 18.78 | Weight Lost 10lbs | Gender F]
Created: Sun Oct 11 15:20:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3odibz/is_this_binging_changing_my_eating_schedule/
---
Is there a name for just eating one huge meal a day? I'm talking ~1000 calories. By doing this I've lost 10 pounds over the last couple of months and I've never purged before.

[Help] So i had a huge binge and now i have a problem.
/u/Panda_Melody
Created: Sun Oct 11 10:47:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ochx3/so_i_had_a_huge_binge_and_now_i_have_a_problem/
---
So this is a little awkward and TMI but i had a bad binge week and now i havent been able to poop for like 5 days now. I took 2 swiss kriss tablets last night which usualy do the trick for me but today its halfway through the day and i still havent been able to go really at all. When i did go it was just a tiny bit and it was GREY i thout it was weird so i googled grey poop and all that came up was that it was from a lack of bile and could mean all kinds of bad things. Im freaking out i mean im sure its normal to have one weird poop once in a while but im still super freaked out. Anyone have some tips on how to get things moving?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 11, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 11 10:04:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3occ7d/daily_food_diary_october_11_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 11, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] What are some of your more unique goals?
/u/lindzeyy [5'5"| CW 139.2 | 23.4 | -30.8 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 10 22:58:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3oatqn/what_are_some_of_your_more_unique_goals/
---
I want to be able to wear my younger brother's clothes. He has a sweatshirt that is just a bit snug and I want to fit in it.

I also want to be able to wear a blouse tucked into skinny jeans.

[CCW] anyone drink energy drinks?
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Sat Oct 10 17:46:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o9xkm/anyone_drink_energy_drinks/
---
I've become sort of addicted to the sugar free cans of monster and rock star.

I only ever drink a can a day, but I'm wondering if its unsafe to drink them while restricting. Anyone else feel any side effects after drinking enegy drinks?

[CCW] 10/10/15 - Breakfast, lunch and dinner. [OC]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 10 17:46:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o9xj5/101015_breakfast_lunch_and_dinner_oc/
---
http://i.imgur.com/qPOSjre.jpg?1

[Discussion] Does anyone elses eyes burn when restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 10 12:28:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o8tcq/does_anyone_elses_eyes_burn_when_restricting/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Lowest weight since joining sub
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 10 10:04:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o8ay2/lowest_weight_since_joining_sub/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 10, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 10 10:03:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o8auy/daily_food_diary_october_10_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 10, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Do you follow and post in diet subs?
/u/blythetithes
Created: Sat Oct 10 07:22:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o7sxe/do_you_follow_and_post_in_diet_subs/
---
Do any of you follow diet subs like keto or fasting, and if so do you post there too? Has anyone ever given you a hard time for posting both here and there? I feel like I would be bombarded with PMs if "normal redditors" saw I had an ED.

[Discussion] How could I have been so delusional?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 10 06:02:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o7lq8/how_could_i_have_been_so_delusional/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Better to maintain than gain from binge/purge
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Oct 10 00:11:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o6xks/better_to_maintain_than_gain_from_bingepurge/
---
When I get into a binge/purge cycle, I always gain weight. So for me, I'd rather maintain by being "normal" than binge and purge.

So how I get out of the cycle is by eating TDEE calories (like 1100) and still exercising. Like eating only when I'm hungry and never past TDEE. I do this for about 10 days, and then it's usually all good.

Then once you stop getting binge cravings, start restricting again.

[Thinspo] This used to be my body
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 9 22:15:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o6nhf/this_used_to_be_my_body/
---
http://imgur.com/GnngRTL

[Discussion] Liquid Fasting
/u/conquerorworms [5'7.5"| 171.8lbs | 26.32 | -19.4lbs | ftM]
Created: Fri Oct 9 19:50:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o68m7/liquid_fasting/
---
I'm new to this group (and reddit). So hello. I've been in recovery for a few years, and I just recently within the last week or two relapsed.

I really enjoy liquid fasts. I've done juices, master cleanse, etc.

Currently I'm wrapping up day 3 of coffee, water, protein powder (since I'm hoping to get fit before I start testosterone).

I was wondering if you like to fast, what your preferred fast is, and any experiences you want to share.

I think my least favorite was the cabbage soup diet and the master cleanse. They were both very painful.

[Help] I need to drop at least 20 pounds in two months, is it possible?
/u/listrafrishta
Created: Fri Oct 9 16:42:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o5n7b/i_need_to_drop_at_least_20_pounds_in_two_months/
---
[removed]

[Help] I wanna talk!
/u/someplacein-between [5'5 | 107.6 lbs |18.12 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 9 15:49:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o5gmk/i_wanna_talk/
---
Hey all! So lately I've been reaching my goals and doing an ok job of not like... binging and being out of control with my eating, and I wanna be able to talk about that. But I don't really have anyone in my life that would praise me for only eating an apple one day or something. This also got me thinking about how I feel like no one can help me when I'm NOT doing so great, because again, no one is going to scold me for eating like a pig on any given day. SO I was wondering if any of you would like to talk? Maybe we could cheer each other on, or help each other through rough patches, without any judgement. It could be great!

[Thinspo] Angelina Jolie... What does she eat?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 9 13:41:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o4znt/angelina_jolie_what_does_she_eat/
---
[deleted]

[Help] How to lose weight really quick???
/u/lila_may
Created: Fri Oct 9 13:16:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o4w47/how_to_lose_weight_really_quick/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Outlandish lies you tell yourself to stay on track?
/u/blythetithes
Created: Fri Oct 9 10:08:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o45ll/outlandish_lies_you_tell_yourself_to_stay_on_track/
---
Does anyone else do this:

It occurred to me last night that it might help to boost my motivation if I told myself some flat-out lies. This requires some fairly extreme magical thinking / an active imagination. The possibility of getting back down to my UGW is extremely motivating, but who couldn't use some extra motivation when you're staring temptation in the face? What if getting to my UGW meant that I not only got to be very thin, but also got to look like my favorite actress? What if getting down to my UGW meant that I would have enough money to move to my favorite city in the world?

Does anyone else use absurd games like this?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 09, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 9 10:05:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o4544/daily_food_diary_october_09_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 09, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] I feel like an idiot :/
/u/looklikeher
Created: Fri Oct 9 06:13:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o3bs2/i_feel_like_an_idiot/
---
I feel like such an idiot right now. I started taking some Glucomannan supplements after I saw someone here post about it helping them stay full all day. Well it does help with that, but it has been causing so much bloat that I look like I've gained 10 lbs! I thought it was something about my routine because I keep adding and subtracting things from my diet, so I changed what little stuff I was eating, but all along it was the pills and I never stopped them because I just thought they were working. I feel so fat and have to get dressed up for a wedding tomorrow! I need to figure out how to flush all this in 24 hours. I ate some popcorn this morning (2 cups for 130 calories) to kickstart my stomach and I'll be drinking water and chewing gum all day, that's my plan for eating. Can anyone recommend a good flush or something to help with the bloat??

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! October 09, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 9 06:07:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o3b3u/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_october_09/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for October 09, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Goal] Massively triggered by rejection
/u/Thunder2WonderThighs
Created: Thu Oct 8 22:03:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o274i/massively_triggered_by_rejection/
---
I just have to get this out somewhere. A guy who strung me along for half a year finally outright rejected me. To make things worse, he used to say things like "I never thought I'd be attracted to someone like you" and "I guess I always imagined myself marrying a 'cheerleader' type". We're in the same social league and now he's dating someone on my team. I have to see them together every week and she's a lot thinner than me. I want to rise above it but it just fills me with jealousy and the acute pain of rejection and not being good enough.

I am going to be so much skinnier than she is, I'm going to lose so much weight that people worry about me. I've been on 800 calories all week but seeing them together all night has motivated me to go for 200 tomorrow.

Rejection is the best motivation.

[Thinspo] Need help with sone thinspo
/u/isurvivedthetruck
Created: Thu Oct 8 18:44:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o1k36/need_help_with_sone_thinspo/
---
Okay guys, so it's soo helpful looking at thinspo, but since I'm only 5'1" it also kinda makes me feel bad because I know I can't look like them ever. So I was wo dering if anyone can help me find or put together for me an album of short girl thinspo? Please and thank you in advance!

Accountability Texting Buddy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 8 12:33:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3o04x0/accountability_texting_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 08, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 8 10:03:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nzire/daily_food_diary_october_08_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 08, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] Safe snack foods?
/u/sothrowmeaway [5'7" | 155 | 24.7 | -3 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 8 09:39:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nzf9l/safe_snack_foods/
---
Anyone have any safe snacks (within limits of course - a.k.a. quantity) that you could recommend? I try to stick to a few raw almonds or just drink water but sometimes those snacks make me feel worse instead of satiated.

I am in school and I have a high energy expending job. When I get hungry I feel like I'm in a fog and I can't concentrate. Sometimes I just need something small to lift my blood sugar so I can actually do my work. Any suggestions would be much appreciated! :)

[Goal] Thought I was hella recovered ...
/u/Skinny_witch_bitch
Created: Thu Oct 8 00:06:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nxu97/thought_i_was_hella_recovered/
---
I've had ED and disordered eating issues in the past but I thought I was totally recovered and all that jazz. I'm a dancer and an actress starting at a really intense school. I need to love myself enough to drop a few more lbs while schools starts. I'm just looking for support. Planning on going back to calorie restriction and taking up a mostly liquid diet. Stay strong, xx

[Help] Starvation Mode?
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Wed Oct 7 23:36:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nxrhs/starvation_mode/
---
so I've been restricting more than I used to (~800 cals) for the last couple of days and today I ate more than Im used to (1400).

At 5'9" and 128 I have a TDEE OF 1850, so I feel *okay*. However after eating under 1000 cals for a while I wonder if my metabolism has slowed down? **I never excersize**, but I used to be a good runner. Is it possible that I might even be maintaining at 1400 due to a slower metabolism, and should I stick to eating under 1000 ?

[Discussion] Soooo I went and gave blood... and also in a bit of a b/p cycle.
/u/watermelements [5'6 | 234.0 lbs | 37.72 | -15.0lbs | F]
Created: Wed Oct 7 22:04:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nxi8n/soooo_i_went_and_gave_blood_and_also_in_a_bit_of/
---
I went and gave blood on Tuesday between classes, and while it obviously isn't true weight loss it was nice to see the scale go down so much today :P I did fine there even though they had all kinds of baked goods/soup/juice, but today was a mess. I think I was a bit tired out from the donation, or something, but I ended up sleeping through my alarm this morning and missing class. That led to today being a really unproductive day and I ended up having a binge/purge marathon. I wasn't even hungry/craving anything, it was more of a "you fucked up today so you deserve punishment" kind of thing. Bleh sorry for the rambling, just wanted to get this off of my chest and typing it out makes it seem even more clear that I should definitely NOT do this again tomorrow.

Thanks for reading, and you're all the best, seriously. <3

[Help] Angry at Myself
/u/acronym_acronym [5' 11" | 120 lbs | 16.7 | -20lbs | Male]
Created: Wed Oct 7 16:47:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nwf2z/angry_at_myself/
---
I ate way too many unhealthy foods today. I ate almost two cups of these crackers today. Probably 300 calories, and way too many spiced chickpeas. I feel bad because I was doing really well until I got home, and saw all the food. Anyone know how to prevent this in the future? I'm very very mad at myself :(

[Tip] Introduction kinda and some info for girls who have trouble restricting.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Oct 7 14:11:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nvsg4/introduction_kinda_and_some_info_for_girls_who/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Having the Flu while restricting
/u/MelodramaticxFool
Created: Wed Oct 7 11:44:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nv6oy/having_the_flu_while_restricting/
---
For the past week or so I've kept my calories to a minimum (under 500) and have exercised. However, I have the flu now. Should I push myself to eat below 1000 calories just for today so I can recover quicker? I don't want to gain weight and I'm not having any binge cravings, I just think it might help with the recovery process. Thoughts?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 07, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Oct 7 10:04:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nusds/daily_food_diary_october_07_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 07, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Goal] Today ....
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Tue Oct 6 21:30:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nsodc/today/
---
As of today I am 107 pounds at 5ft 10 (179cm) which gives me a bmi of 15.4. I wish I could say I felt good about this , but I dont. I am not sure I will ever be happy about my weight or my body . I guess I'll see how I feel when I hit 100 pounds

[Goal] This album has me at a wide range of weights, but I'm not hoovering at the lower weights so it's not really progress pics. It's moreso motivation to lose weight, having an idea what my body will look like. Approximate weights are listed. I'm a little over 5'4"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 6 17:00:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nrpm3/this_album_has_me_at_a_wide_range_of_weights_but/
---
http://imgur.com/a/70NUf

This album has me at a wide range of weights, but I'm not hoovering at the lower weights at all. So, progress pics, sorta...moreso motivation to lose weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 6 16:50:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nro6g/this_album_has_me_at_a_wide_range_of_weights_but/
---
http://imgur.com/a/70NUfrta.

[Discussion] Trying to Go Back
/u/clurrance [5'6"| 117 |18.96 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 6 15:23:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nrc2e/trying_to_go_back/
---
Hi, I'm 100% new here. I had anorexia (barely. my lowest BMI was 17.11) when I was about 17. I'm 22 now and really unhappy with how I look. For a while I maintained a recovery weight that was tolerable, but now I keep seeing the weight creep up. It's terrifying! I have never weighed this much in my entire life. I'm hoping this sub will motivate me to cut down a little bit and quit the mindless eating. It's really hard to restrict now...definitely not like it used to be. Edit: forgot the whole point of my post: has anyone recovered and then gone back to old habits? Any tips for someone whose willpower is basically gone?

Does anyone need a friend/someone to talk to?
/u/lila_may
Created: Tue Oct 6 14:59:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nr8bq/does_anyone_need_a_friendsomeone_to_talk_to/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] Working on my new thinspo album. I'm becoming obsessed with high-contrast B&W pics.
/u/SukiniShika [5' 5" | CW: 120 lbs. | GW: 100 lbs. | Female]
Created: Tue Oct 6 13:48:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nqxfg/working_on_my_new_thinspo_album_im_becoming/
---
http://imgur.com/a/h3Gem

[CCW] "Progress" Pictures
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Tue Oct 6 13:46:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nqx6p/progress_pictures/
---
I hope this isn't weird or out of line. When I last posted a picture of myself some folks gave me feedback saying progress pics might be an interesting idea, so here it is!

[Album](http://www.imgur.com/a/Kf9zi)

I put progress in quotes because I look nearly the same in all the images. This album has pictures of me from 2012 to now, 2015. I apologize for the album format, imgur changed their settings. So the pictures are gonna be kind of big unless you're using RES.

My starting weight in these pics is 106 lbs, which is not my highest. I apologize for not posting pictures from before then, I didn't do very many body checks at that time (I'm sure you can figure out why).

Any feedback would be great! I know I don't look like I'm 86 pounds, but I have a really mangled, ugly, and bloated body. But I swear, that's the number the scale says. Feel free to ask questions if you want any clarification. Thanks for looking! Sorry for the wall of text!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 06, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Oct 6 10:04:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3npz6a/daily_food_diary_october_06_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 06, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


Update: ED assessment
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Oct 6 04:48:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nox2k/update_ed_assessment/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] What's your goal between now and next Tuesday?
/u/lifetc
Created: Tue Oct 6 02:17:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nolde/whats_your_goal_between_now_and_next_tuesday/
---
One of my biggest demotivators is when I feel like I'm never going to make it all the way until my ugw. I find it a lot better when I'm taking it one day at a time (like, I'm not going to binge TODAY, I'm going to go to bed hungry TONIGHT).

In the same way, I want to try and set a goal for the next week. I think I can get a lowest-weight this week 3lbs less than my last. How about you?

[Discussion] Your cravings don't put the fork in your mouth
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 5 22:56:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3no4d3/your_cravings_dont_put_the_fork_in_your_mouth/
---
You do. There are no cravings, no hormones, no stress, no bad break ups, or falling outs. The only person who decides what you eat is you because you're the person putting food in your mouth. Your cravings can make you want to eat, but the only way you eat is if you actually decide that you want to eat. You have the final word - not doctors, not parents, not stress, or lack of sleep.

You already know what you need to do.

[Help] Exercising while fasting
/u/SukiniShika [5' 5" | CW: 120 lbs. | GW: 100 lbs. | Female]
Created: Mon Oct 5 22:48:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3no3jk/exercising_while_fasting/
---
Hey r/proed, I've lurked for a long time but finally decided to post after struggling today.
I work out an hour a day by either running or biking. I usually burn around 450 calories while eating under 1,000 (although my diet changes on the weekends when I'm around my BF; I don't want him to catch wind of my under-eating). I LOVE LOVE LOVE fasting. I love the feeling of being dizzy/sick, I love the money I save, and I love the sense of accomplishment when I step on the scale after 72+ hours of eating nothing. However, when I fast I can't go to the gym. I've been on a water fast for two days now and felt so guilty about missing out on going to the gym that I dragged myself there and almost passed out on the treadmill. My vision went dark for a solid 30 seconds and I could feel my body shutting down. I REALLY want to be able to still exercise while I'm fasting but I feel like I'm going to pass out at the gym and get found out when my BF is called from the emergency room. Any tips on what sort of exercise I should do while fasting? I just don't want to be idle for the entirety of 3 days. Thanks in advance for responses <3

[Discussion] It is never worth it
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Oct 5 22:33:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3no20u/it_is_never_worth_it/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Trying to lose 30 pounds and gain some self-esteem
/u/sothrowmeaway [5'7" | 155 | 24.7 | -3 | F]
Created: Mon Oct 5 20:41:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nnoxy/trying_to_lose_30_pounds_and_gain_some_selfesteem/
---
So here's how it is: I have "recovered" from EDNOS. I have been at a normal weight now for... I guess 3 years. It doesn't feel normal though. I feel fat. Disgusting. I often think of how I looked 4 or 5 years ago when I had a BMI of 17 and 18. I had little energy then and I felt like shit all the time mentally and physically, but I at least didn't feel the shame of trying to put on my pants and realizing that no matter how hard I try they aren't going to fit.

I want this weight gone. I at least want to lose 30 pounds. I just don't want to draw suspicion and I'd rather stay at least predominantly functional.

If anyone has any tips, helpful apps, or wants to team up to lose some weight, please comment or PM. Thanks

Purging tips
/u/Colamouth
Created: Mon Oct 5 18:09:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nn5d3/purging_tips/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] I have over 5,000 saved thinspo pics. Here are my favorites.
/u/calorified
Created: Mon Oct 5 16:16:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nmqbd/i_have_over_5000_saved_thinspo_pics_here_are_my/
---
http://imgur.com/a/XvSKv

[Thinspo] Rachel Bilson + Fans
/u/evil_avril
Created: Mon Oct 5 15:53:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nmn0b/rachel_bilson_fans/
---
http://i.imgur.com/WRYWYcQ.jpg

[CCW] Im disgusting.
/u/Panda_Melody
Created: Mon Oct 5 13:51:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nm4qz/im_disgusting/
---
Over the past 5-6 days ive completely lost control. Ive been madsivly binging on subway and mcdonalds and just any and all snacks i could get my hands on. I feel revolting. I can feel all this food sitting and rotting in me. Ive gained 4lbs and while im sure some of it is actual food weight the rest is not. I know its because my adderal prescription ran out and i havent had time to go to the dr and get it refilled. When im off my meds its VERY hard for me to resist food.
I just hate myself so much right now. Im getting back on track tomorrow. I called my dr today and have an apointment tomorrow to renew my prescription.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 05, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 5 10:05:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nl6qy/daily_food_diary_october_05_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 05, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! October 05, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Oct 5 06:08:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nke1s/weekly_stats_update_october_05_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for October 05, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] Help! Cooking for husband is hurting my resolve.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 4 21:44:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nj816/help_cooking_for_husband_is_hurting_my_resolve/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] boyfriend is sabotaging me
/u/threwyourlifeaway [5' 2" | 139 | 26 | -36 | f]
Created: Sun Oct 4 20:04:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3niw51/boyfriend_is_sabotaging_me/
---
so i usually do a pretty good job of restricting when i'm alone, but its social interactions that really messes me up. my boyfriend in particular loves to come by and take me grocery shopping and spend loads of money on delicious savory foods that he knows i do not eat when he is around. last week he left an XL pizza at my place that he had 2 slices from, and i know i should have thrown it away as soon as he left in the morning but i was weak and i ate it throughout the day:( i love cooking and he loves eating - he knows i love eating too but i have been doing ok and he can see a bit of weight loss. i just feel really frustrated because i think it's really awful of him to encourage me to eat savory foods that i crave and to enable me being fat. i don't know what to do about this other than to be really strict with my intake when i'm alone and to exercise more. he completely helped me ruin my goal for this week and last.

anyone looking for a pro ana buddy?
/u/micks_on_moon
Created: Sun Oct 4 15:54:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ni0eq/anyone_looking_for_a_pro_ana_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Help] want to relapse, read whole thing please
/u/missingana
Created: Sun Oct 4 15:26:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nhwjg/want_to_relapse_read_whole_thing_please/
---
had anorexia few years ago for a couple years, somehow ~recovered~ and when it gets cold out everything gets hard.
i dont know how i "recovered" -- they just force fed me in treatment and i was a minor and i gave up.
now i'm above my weight range and i miss it and my brain feels rewired but i miss it. help.

edit: more details. it's like i *forgot* and it makes no sense.

[Help] Is anyone looking for someone to talk to...?
/u/DivingRightIn
Created: Sun Oct 4 13:29:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nhgao/is_anyone_looking_for_someone_to_talk_to/
---
Hey guys,
I have recently gone off to college. I didn't bring a scale with me or anything... my roommate eats like a fucking pig and her habits are rubbing off on me... I've gained 10 pounds since school started and I just can't deal with it...
I just really... really... really need someone to talk to about this that won't try to talk me down and out of it or judge me or think I'm completely crazy.

I would love to do the same for someone else as well... so if anyone would like to buddy up with me that'd be amazing...

My stats:
Height: 72inches/6'0"
CW: 158
GW: 135

[Discussion] DietBet??
/u/linziboo [5'3" | 148 | 26.9 | -32 | F]
Created: Sun Oct 4 11:04:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ngwno/dietbet/
---
So I also subscribe to xxfitness and they have something called a dietbet where you pay 25 dollars and try to lose 4% of your body weight in a month. If you make it, then they pay you back your money plus some.

It's been a great motivator for me because I mean who doesn't like money but it's also not too difficult that I get discouraged. I'm sure we could make our own dietbet?

The link to the xxfitness one is [here](https://www.dietbet.com/player-profile/426568/invite?code=fd9a0507b581595e2454bf78cf4c59e6693714a3&gameId=72227&inviterId=426568&sentFrom=web-short-url&utm_campaign=426568&utm_content=72227&utm_medium=invite_organizers&utm_source=link)

[Help] I went down from 142 to 132 in a month, how can I lose more?
/u/acronym_acronym [5' 11" | 120 lbs | 16.7 | -20lbs | Male]
Created: Sun Oct 4 10:59:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ngvwr/i_went_down_from_142_to_132_in_a_month_how_can_i/
---
I used to be overweight. 150 in 5th grade, chubby with ugly hair and ugly glasses. I've gotten down to 132, 131 sometimes. How do I lose more weight?

[Discussion] Feedback
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Oct 4 10:45:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ngu3t/feedback/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 04, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Oct 4 10:04:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ngoul/daily_food_diary_october_04_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 04, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Goal] Want to do a fast from 5-8 oct
/u/High_as_red
Created: Sun Oct 4 02:28:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nfn86/want_to_do_a_fast_from_58_oct/
---
Who is with me?

[Thinspo] Short mostly b&w thinspo album
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 122 | 20.54 | -34 | F]
Created: Sat Oct 3 13:01:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nddy0/short_mostly_bw_thinspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/biQUG

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 03, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Oct 3 10:04:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ncrac/daily_food_diary_october_03_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 03, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Written in the midwinter of 2014
/u/apostate7
Created: Sat Oct 3 07:00:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nc7fw/written_in_the_midwinter_of_2014/
---
This ED essay was written in the deep midwinter (sorry, Christina) of 2014. I considered it my magnum opus at the time. I rediscovered it today on an old laptop, and dusted it off for your delectation.

---

For as long as I have been able to form and recall memories, I have suffered from mental disorders that affect the physical form. When I was a very young child, I was severely phobic of foods which I hadnā€™t yet tried. As a very young child, I rooted my identity in the small set of foods that I would eat. Tight-chested, shuddering, crying, I would throw involuntary panic-attack-like tantrums if I inadvertently ate anything outwith my little selection of foods. For a year or so, at about 5 or 6 years old, I lived on bowls of cooked spinach and kale. Later, I subsisted on dim sum; at one point, it was digestive biscuits. (McVitieā€™s only - supermarketsā€™ own brands would attract the sort of despising that the normal mind saves for BBC Three reality programmes.)

I was a pallid, etiolated child. I had long arachnid fingers, sprouting at branchlike angles from oversized hands; legs, short, scabbed by daily outbursts of dermatillomania at times so extreme as to have doctors recommend handcuffing me at night; disproportionately large feet; a very flat body, with ignored nipples so pale as to seem ligated from the flesh of the chest, and a slight inwards curve from the bottom rib to the hip; and, on top of it all, a dollā€™s bobble-head, with a mop of oily brown hair, popping myopic green eyes, drooping lips that never quite learned how to smile, and skin the off-white colour of hospital walls. I was never a thing of beauty.

I was never a thing of beauty. What I was, however, was a thing of my own creation. I had not grown naturally; rather, I had been unconsciously stunting and twisting my development through insufficient nutritional intake and compulsive self-injurious behaviour. As I grew older, selective eating disorder and dermatillomania grew, too. By 11 I had taken to opening my skin carefully, as one would remove the body of a dying butterfly from its cocoon if it had not the strength to blossom unassisted, using instruments. I think that I first used the blade from a green pencil sharpener. As years passed, I developed an ever stronger misophagia, culminating in a diagnosis of anorexia nervosa at age 15. I spent over a year shuffled between various mental and physiological hospitals, throwing all the strength in my 4st 10lbs form into attempts to evade a nasogastric fate worse than death, failing every time. But overriding the irrational dislike of food and the involuntary fear of eating was a lucid, crystalline thought. I did not fear food or eating or weight gain in and of themselves. It never was about food or eating or weight gain. Rather, it was about preserving my countenance and my form, the way that I had carved them from my artless mass of flesh. I did not want to be reverted to a physical tabula rasa. I wanted to remain as I had created myself, as I had always been.

Time has passed since I weighed 4st 10lbs. At the last count, as I type this, I weigh 7st 11lbs, and look considerably heavier. I have a BMI of circa 20. I become repulsively rubicund when warm or otherwise stimulated, causing me to recoil from my own face in mirrors, and the lipid mass inhabiting the space between my skin and skull has dulled and eroded my once distinctive face. Some months ago, I suffered from an episode of compulsive overeating, and I am left a swollen, crude afterword of my past physical self.

I find that, unused to this form, I cannot express myself well with it. It is not weight alone; it is self-inflicted injuries, too. As the scars ringing my arms, eye-shaped, fade to white, so, too, does my mind. I cannot convey the extremes of emotion that my brain throws up on a regular basis using a padded, blunt body. If I am an architect, I am a brutalist, drawn to elegant, angular, flat monochromes. If I am an artist, I write in blood, with bones.

I do not care that there are models with lower BMIs than have I. I do not care for the BMI system. I do not care to please Ana, or to cleanse my body, or to walk in the snow and not soil its purity. Let the snow be imprinted with claw-feet, raw bone on ice, I say. Let the snow be pierced by a creature with the comportment of a lily and the skeleton and tread of a bird. I wish to be pasty and atrophied because it is the medium in which I work. It is what I am and what I use and what I am accustomed to.

[Discussion] [TW: Psychosis] An old piece of writing, complete with dog Latin: "Emaciēs me liberabit"
/u/apostate7
Created: Sat Oct 3 06:14:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nc3rj/tw_psychosis_an_old_piece_of_writing_complete/
---
Itā€™s such a chore to eat when Iā€™m not on antipsychotics. A chore, at best. It is a very unpleasant activity for me. It feels subhuman, unenlightened. My mind throws up so many parallels between the bodily permeation, nonconsensual altering of the mind, and engorging of the body of food and of rape.

Then come the nagging fears: those who are controlling me may do so through the things which I intake. In addition, there is never any shifting the feeling that I would know the raw human condition were I to see it once more in my body.

Consumption hides unpleasant truths. When a baby is born, the first thing that it does is that it cries, because it has not yet been able to consume and put a layer of removal between itself and the raw human condition. I want to be a baby again. I want to cry, for there is no other adequate response to the truth. I know so little now, and it torments me.

Through the influence of my medications and of nasogastric feeding, I have been penetrated and infested by food to the extent that I cannot see myself for what I am. The only way to resist control is to go limp in the arms of the controllers. Passivity is the only release. Passivity is the only peace. Peace and quiet and the long, long blessed fall are the only constants. Nobody can tell light not to go at c. Nobody can change a constant. In constants and in peace I will be free. Veritas me liberabit. Emaciēs me liberabit.

[Tip] Skip dinner, wake up thinner...
/u/SweetPeachKitty [5'2" | 93.4 lbs | 17.7 | f]
Created: Sat Oct 3 05:13:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nbzeo/skip_dinner_wake_up_thinner/
---
Holy shit guys I never realized how true this cliche statement really is... I've always been a late night or dinner binger, but yesterday I was forced to have all my daily calories for lunch and could not allow myself to have a normal dinner like I usually do.. I had coffee until maybe 2 hours before bed, but NOTHING else. I get on the scale this morning and what does it say? 98lbs! Im finally under 100 guys! Also my stomach looked noticably flatter from the side as well, my stomach has always been lumpy even when I used to be under 100, but today it looks *almost* flat!

[stomach](http://i.imgur.com/xiuyyQc.jpg)

I also measured and lost 1in on my stomach (27.5in now) and .5in on my waist! (24.5in now)! Holy crap I don't want to eat at all today now.

**note**: I have also been eating under 800 calories a day fairly consistently for at least 1 or 2 weeks and sometimes less than 700 so its not like I lost 2lbs just from not having dinner haha

(also not sure how to tag I guess its a tip even if an obvious one)

[Discussion] [TW] How long has it been since you've _________?
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 2 23:42:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nbdq5/tw_how_long_has_it_been_since_youve/
---
- e.g. weighed/measured yourself; eaten; exercised; self harmed
- etc.

[Help] Severe burning in ab muscles after intense workout
/u/plainskinny [5 | 120 | 24| 45 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 2 19:50:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3nard2/severe_burning_in_ab_muscles_after_intense_workout/
---
Prior to a week ago I had never worked out my abdominal muscles before. I started the week off by doing 50 crunches with an ab roller and now, at the end of the week I'm up to ten minutes of running, 100 crunches, 100 crunches with an ab roller, fat burning yoga for 20 minutes and 30 second planks 10 times. Yesterday was the first day I did the whole workout. Today I woke up at 4 in the morning with an intense burning that was similar to acid reflux or an ulcer. It lasted an hour and then went away and came back periodically through out the day. I usually work out at 9 o clock at night and go to be at 11. Could this be acid reflux? Or is it something serious? Or is this normal? I really don't want to take break from my workout because it helps calm me down. (Applying to colleges and work are stressing me out ATON) It's also impossible for me to see a doctor about this because my mom is slightly catching on to my ED tendencies. (We had an in depth talk today about how she's worried I'm developing an eating disorder because I was questioning eating half a bagel or a quarter of a bagel *eye roll*) Any help at all would be immensely appreciated!

Yasss. These guys had a promotion at my school and were giving these babies out for free(+ coupons!)
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Fri Oct 2 16:09:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3na1zy/yasss_these_guys_had_a_promotion_at_my_school_and/
---
http://imgur.com/W6DdhfP

[Help] Need some advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Oct 2 11:51:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n92kz/need_some_advice/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What is your opinion on juice cleanses?
/u/emmy4 [5'1" | 107 | 20.2 | F]
Created: Fri Oct 2 11:22:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n8ycg/what_is_your_opinion_on_juice_cleanses/
---
Has anyone ever tried one, and what was your experience like? Did it help anything? I've been thinking about trying a 3-day juice cleanse that I found a recipe for and was wondering if it's worth it. Thanks:)

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 02, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 2 10:05:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n8nqi/daily_food_diary_october_02_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 02, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Fasting for the next few days! Anyone want to join?
/u/p00piepie [5'2.75" | 116.8 | BMI: 21.47 | -30 | f]
Created: Fri Oct 2 07:18:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n81zm/fasting_for_the_next_few_days_anyone_want_to_join/
---
I'm tired of myself. It's been way too long since I've fasted. Is anyone else currently on a fast or going to start one over the weekend? We can PM over Reddit or message each other on Skype to check in on each other!

[Help] Massive fuck up...
/u/thin_is_in [5'8 | 128lbs | 19.5 | f]
Created: Fri Oct 2 07:03:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n80ad/massive_fuck_up/
---
A couple of months ago my mental health was pretty awful and I was in and out of a psych ward. At the time my BMI was in the 16s and they referred me to an eating disorder service.

Referral has come through finally and my BMI is 21 now.

I want to shoot myself, how could I fuck up so much?! Now I'm just gonna be called a fat fraud, which is what I am tbh.

No eating until Monday which is when the consultation is, but it's not going to help. It's bad enough that I'm this fat, without other people knowing about it. Fuck fuck fuck.

No real point to this post except that this is the only place where people will understand. I hate myself so much right now.

[Discussion] Weekly Selfie and Progress Pic Thread! October 02, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Oct 2 06:07:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n7um5/weekly_selfie_and_progress_pic_thread_october_02/
---
This is the weekly selfie and progress pic thread for October 02, 2015.

Feel free to post any progress pics or selfies in this thread! Remember,

**Rules**

1. Be nice, **or you will be banned.**

2. Please use [imgur](http://imgur.com/) as a host.

3. Check out [previous Selfie/Progress Pic threads here!](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives#wiki_selfie.2Fprogress_pic_threads)

^Selfie ^and ^progress ^pic ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Friday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Purging so hard that your nose bleeds?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 1 23:47:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n75do/purging_so_hard_that_your_nose_bleeds/
---
I haven't purged via vomiting for a while, and today I did, and it was honestly the best feeling ever. Usually, I fast to purge, but I've been doing so poorly at that lately.

My dorm mates were out today, and I was alone. I binged on butter fingers and reese's and purged it, and it was great. I finished, and I feel so calm now. I know a lot of it was probably kept, but it's a whole lot better than leaving it in my system and then having to wake up with some food still undigested and feeling bloated and fat.

But anyway, today, while I was purging, my nose started bleeding. I think it was blood from my throat because it was like snot and blood since my nose runs when I purge (I'm really ugly at it). Has this ever happened to anyone else? Usually, my nails just scratch my throat and it bleeds, but I've never had blood actually come out my nose.

[Thinspo] I will never be perfect.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 1 17:04:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n5uz9/i_will_never_be_perfect/
---
http://i.imgur.com/EUuiGJm.gifv

[Thinspo] [thinspo] bump
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Thu Oct 1 16:57:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n5u4v/thinspo_bump/
---
http://i.imgur.com/ouwMPtT.jpg

[Tip] Lose weight with this one neat trick! (but for real holy crap, I'm amazed)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 1 16:14:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n5of4/lose_weight_with_this_one_neat_trick_but_for_real/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] An old collage piece about my ED
/u/apostate7
Created: Thu Oct 1 14:13:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n57hd/an_old_collage_piece_about_my_ed/
---
http://i.imgur.com/N1kAhkE.jpg

An old art piece about my ED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Oct 1 13:13:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n4z17/an_old_art_piece_about_my_ed/
---
http://i.imgur.com/N1kAhKe.jpg

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! October 01, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Oct 1 10:04:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n477b/daily_food_diary_october_01_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for October 01, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Thinspo] Cara Delevingne
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 30 22:52:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n2d1y/cara_delevingne/
---
http://cdni.condenast.co.uk/1280x1920/a_c/cara-delevingne-victorias-secret-nov12-vogue-7nov13-getty_b.jpg

[Discussion] restricting to stop anxious thoughts?
/u/threwyourlifeaway [5' 2" | 139 | 26 | -36 | f]
Created: Wed Sep 30 22:46:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n2cc2/restricting_to_stop_anxious_thoughts/
---
hi guys, i'm kind of new here so if this topic has already been discussed, please disregard!
i have never been really good socially and even though i feel confident in myself, i have been told by many others that i seek affirmation from outside sources. i don't have many friends that i see outside of drinking/partying and at school, i feel like a social leper, with no way of knowing how to fit in and be well liked.
since starting school again this semester, i feel really self aware and have the feeling of being 'watched' all the time, so my behavior has to always be on point and restrained. its a competitive program and the girls can get pretty catty, so i don't want to give them any reason more to dislike me. i have never been comfortable with cafeterias or listening to people discuss their food and its just about one of the least things i like to do socially. i find myself just wanting to slip away and watch netflix during lunch instead of trying to interact socially with anyone.

just wondering if anyone else ever feels this intimidated/observed and how they deal with it. i'm not sure how long i can avoid people without being shut out entirely.

[Help] I binged :( what now?
/u/legittomato [5'10 | 158lb | 22.10 | -15 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 30 22:38:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n2bjw/i_binged_what_now/
---
Something happened today that triggered an abnormally strong emotional response (I have a mood disorder). Usually I get really drunk and or self harm to cope but we are in the middle of renovations so my room isn't accessible and I don't know where my tools are and I don't have any alcohol. So what did I do? Went straight to the pantry and grabbed one of everything I've been avoiding and stuffed my face with 1400 calories! I was at goal (800) before I started binging. Even worse, for other reasons I couldn't go on my walk today.

So what should I do now? I've been pretty good at sticking to my 800 goal. should I try to do some crazy amount of exercise tomorrow to counter the excess? Or should I fast tomorrow? How do I fix my mistake? Thank you for any advice. <3

[Thinspo] model legs
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 30 21:32:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n23wg/model_legs/
---
http://i.imgur.com/ZZDNxY6.jpg

[Help] Good weight loss supplements?
/u/mynoothrowaway
Created: Wed Sep 30 20:32:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n1w9p/good_weight_loss_supplements/
---
Before I start, I want to preface that it needs to be legal for purchase in the US and California. I don't have ADD, so adderall is a no-go.

I'm looking for an effective weight loss supplement to go with my calorie counting and exercise. I used to (back in like 2010/11) take OxyElite Pro, and I LOVED it. It gave me energy and weight loss without making me shaky. However, the FDA has since made DMAA illegal (boo, those whores) and the new version is worthless.

Does anyone have a supplement they like?



Anyone want to make a self progress thread?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 30 19:01:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n1jw9/anyone_want_to_make_a_self_progress_thread/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Do you see an ideal version of yourself in your mind?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 30 16:51:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n127b/do_you_see_an_ideal_version_of_yourself_in_your/
---
I try to picture myself at my goal weight, and I see myself with this huge thigh gap, and my knees are bigger than my thighs and calves, and my elbows are bigger than the rest of my arm as well. I love that look for some reason though some people find it unnatural-looking.

My hair is like really long and down to my hips, and my cheek bones and face have this intense look.

I see myself turning sideways in the mirror, and my stomach is so flat and concave without even having to try, and I look up and smile.

I fantasize about this all the time.

[Help] College...need help with friends. no time to exercise.
/u/italia4386 [5'7 | 128 | 20 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 30 14:28:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n0h6f/collegeneed_help_with_friends_no_time_to_exercise/
---
Hey guys.

So I was able to get down to my lowest weight this summer (115lbs) because I was living alone in a city doing an internship, and was basically able to eat nothing and exercise for 2 hours a night without anyone noticing.

So now I am back at college, and I have puffed all the way back up to about 128 lbs because of the environment that I'm in, and I need your help.

My main 'problem' is my friends. I have two best friends, and we spend most of our time together, meaning lunch and dinner. They are both healthy, average college girl eaters...they'll have sandwiches for lunch and pasta or typical entrees for dinner. But they also want to go to Chipotle and get frozen yogurt occasionally. So what has been difficult for me, is to eat significantly less than my friends when I am around them. I am already about 10-15 lbs lighter than them, and while I can make excuses for missing a meal or two, they've noticed in the past when I skip out on a lot of meals in a row. As it is, I eat pretty much only salads with them, and they have made comments about how I 'don't eat that much' and I eat a lot of salad.

My friends are also relatively heavy partiers...going out about 2-3 days a week. I was able to not go out this summer, saving me alcohol calories. But now, all of my friends drink, and they notice when I don't. I don't drink aggressively, but when each shot is about 70-100 calories, even a couple add up. I also hate missing out on spending time with all of my friends, when they are all out partying together.

Third challenge. I don't have time to exercise nearly as much as I could this summer. I have an incredibly heavy courseload, I have a part time job, and I'm job searching for next year. I also have a boyfriend. So by the time I'm done with classes and work at 8 at night, I have to immediately start doing homework. As it is, I only spend about a night a week with my boyfriend. He's also another 'problem'--we go out to dinner occasionally, and he always wants me to eat an entree and enjoy dinner with him.

How do I lose weight when I'm surrounded by people who eat/are aware of me not eating, and when I have no time to exercise? It just seems like I have so many challenges to my freedom to restrict. Do I just have to accept that I can't really be super-skinny when I'm surrounded by food and people monitoring me? Please help :( It felt so good to be small this summer, and I want that feeling again. I'd be happy with just 120lbs.

Thank you!

[Help] Can't believe I'm doing this....(intro)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 30 14:24:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3n0ghs/cant_believe_im_doing_thisintro/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 30, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 30 10:04:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mzc0a/daily_food_diary_september_30_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 30, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] Reliably figuring out calories burned on an exercise machine?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Wed Sep 30 08:44:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3myzrv/reliably_figuring_out_calories_burned_on_an/
---
I've read that exercise machines and some weight loss websites (ie. MFP) grossly overstate the calories you burn while using machines like treadmills and ellipticals. Can anyone recommend a method or tool to more accurately determine this?

[Help] Should I go back to dieting?
/u/russianfrank [5'5 | 121 lbs | 19.4 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 29 21:24:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mx67o/should_i_go_back_to_dieting/
---
I've done a ABC diet once before and lost roughly 25lbs. Since then I've thought about doing it again, but I've just been fasting/restricting mostly. I got to the point where I don't feel the need to eat so I go days with only eating a thing or two.
But my question is, if I go back to doing ABC again, would I be losing weight more steadily than fasting/restricting? Is it bad for my metabolism if I only eat 1 or 2 small things a day? I'm not really sure how to ask this question properly, sorry guys

Warning: Beware of False Medical Advice/Information
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 29 21:04:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mx3vq/warning_beware_of_false_medical_adviceinformation/
---
Some users here tend to be slightly misinformed regarding medical or nutritional facts. That's not to say that they are completely wrong, they just tend to miss a few points and concepts.

**Therefore, before taking anyone's advice, no matter who they are, make sure you check your facts.**

Also, keep online diagnosing at a minimum. It's not your job to tell other people what eating disorders they have or whether they have a eating disorder or not. It's also not your job to tell them that they have *x* medical condition. The reason for this is because if you genuinely believe you are depressed, for example, because someone online told you so, that belief can really fuck up your life perspective.

The mods aren't going to go through every post to fact-check everyone, so take advice at your own risk, and try not to give false advice/facts/information.

False information will happen, so this is a warning to take advice at your own risk.

Thanks.

Stay safe.

[Tip] Tip to avoid binges - nicotine
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 29 20:31:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mwzwj/tip_to_avoid_binges_nicotine/
---
I've only just started vaping, but it really helps to kill cravings. I still get hungry, but there's definitely less of the out-of-control binge eating. For example, today, I lost control and ate a brownie, and that usually would have started a binge, but I was satisfied after the brownie and didn't binge but still felt bad. So, it stops the cycle of binging. The rest of it is just psychological games where you don't have cravings and you're not hungry, but you want to binge.

If you get like the ego twist vape pen, that's like $15 I think, and 6 mg nicotine e-juice is about around $3 for 5 mL (which fills a standard tank about 3 times...I think... and you do about 500 puffs per tank (I think)). You can find cheaper and more expensive and it comes in a lot of flavors, like caramel and vanilla ice-cream, so if you carve those foods, it definitely helps.

Vaping is mostly healthy if you don't mind a nicotine addiction (but most of us are into caffeine anyway, which is more expensive to maintain if you buy Starbucks a lot). Also, this is definitely cheaper and more effective than diet pills, which are usually just caffeine.

[Help] [help] slipping back, need accountability
/u/okpow
Created: Tue Sep 29 16:53:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mw7lh/help_slipping_back_need_accountability/
---
[removed]

[Thinspo] [thinspo] profile
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 29 16:25:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mw3vb/thinspo_profile/
---
http://i.imgur.com/pMpjgeH.jpg

[Help] [help] I get nauseous after taking my Rx's. I'm drinking a LOT of water with them but I'm also always tempted to have a bagel or piece of toast to help calm my stomach. Breads in general aren't on my safe-foods list. What should I do?
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 29 12:23:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mv3vp/help_i_get_nauseous_after_taking_my_rxs_im/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mv3vp/help_i_get_nauseous_after_taking_my_rxs_im/

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 29, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 29 10:04:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3muiw9/daily_food_diary_september_29_2015/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] ED dreams
/u/SingForMaya [5'2" |108 | need to recalc | F, 23 | GW:90]
Created: Tue Sep 29 09:30:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mue2c/ed_dreams/
---
Anyone else have dreams related to their ED? Like mine is always something where I bend forward and cut open my stomach and everything falls out (organs, fat, and sensation of pressure and weight release) and I stand up straight again and I'm skinny. It is a recurring dream and sometimes I'll cut through different parts I think are fat like my arms or thighs

[Help] I HATE myself...
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Tue Sep 29 08:14:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mu3fw/i_hate_myself/
---
I woke up this morning and had my daily weigh in. I gained 3 FUCKING POUNDS from yesterday. How the fuck does this even happen? I ate like 750 calories yesterday TOPS. When I saw the number I went crazy. I scratched my face and pulled my hair. I feel like I have to punish myself for being such a fucking fat FAILURE. I have to lose weight. It's literally all I think and dream about. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think is "what number is the scale going to show today?" I spend every free moment thinking about ways I can devote more effort to losing weight while at work but I'm stuck at a desk for 8 hours. How do I do better? :( I'm desperate.

[Help] [Help] I can't deal with school or anything anymore...
/u/Ire_of_suburbia
Created: Tue Sep 29 07:31:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mty2g/help_i_cant_deal_with_school_or_anything_anymore/
---
Just how do I do this? I mean it's fucking useless, I'm just sitting all day and being forced to listen to shit I don't care about.
I mean I'm very rigid about my routines and stuff and I just can't deal with the stress and the actual TIME WASTED there.
I hope someone will understand even though I'm just rambling.
I mean going to school= less calories burned, less time to do things, way more stress, PEOPLE, having to eat in front of PEOPLE, people expecting me to do much more than I can actually manage.
I wish I could just drop out but you can't do that until you're 18 in Italy and I've been faking sick for almost two weeks now but that's only making shit worse cause none of my teachers believes me anymore and they're PISSED at me and if I go on like this I'll probably fail this year and shit will go down with my family but at the same time I can't even find the energy to care because I just have so much more to worry about and I just panic everytime someone asks me how I'm doing because how can I keep this fucking lie going? And honestly I can't even tell the lies apart from the truth anymore.
But all I'm really caring about right now, of course, is stepping on the scale tomorrow morning and hopefully seeing a lower number...
Help me, just how do I cope with life? It's like the only thing I can actually do is losing weight and obsessing over calories.

I'm sorry if that didn't make sense at all, I was actually having a panic attack. I hope you don't think I'm an idiot (though I probably am actually... I mean I always make the same fucking mistakes over and over again why can't I just die already)

Edit: ok, now I've calmed down a little so I guess I can give you guys a TL;DR: How do I deal with school and life in general when all they do is interfere with my weight loss and I really can't focus on anything else?

[Discussion] How much do you lose in an 'average' week and what are your safe foods for the weeks you do well?
/u/skinnywishlist [5'9" | 123 | 18.2 | -8 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 28 23:43:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3msto6/how_much_do_you_lose_in_an_average_week_and_what/
---
I'm just starting over and atm I'm happy if I lose 1/2lbs a week but want this to increase as the weeks go on. Just wondering what your average losses (or even just weekly goals) are so I can reevaluate my weekly targets x

[Help] Eating out with the family
/u/plainskinny [5 | 120 | 24| 45 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 28 20:27:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ms7r1/eating_out_with_the_family/
---
I am freaking out because my mom told me tomorrow I have to go out to eat with my grandparents for lunch and I have to go to dinner with both my parents. I feel like I'm going to scream. I did so well today, I broke my fast at 24 hours to eat a couple bites of a salad. I don't want to ruin this day by binging tomorrow. My mom and grandma, grandma especially, always pay close attention to what I eat. I've never been diagnosed and I never plan to be, especially now at this weight. I have 2 questions. The first one is at the local diner I'm going to for lunch should I order The french toast, which would be 56 calories for a half a slice and say I ate a lot at the schools vending machine or should I order a salad with 96 calories and eat the whole thing? My second question is how do I order and eat at dinner when I have no idea where my parents are going? (Probably a pizza shop knowing my dad) I am so stressed by all this. I wish people could just understand that fasting helps me deal with my problems and everyday stress and eating adds stress to my life. I just want to curl in a ball on the ground and cry. I don't want to be any fatter! I just want to lose all my weight and have nothing holding me back!


[Discussion] What BMIs do you consider fat, normal, and thin
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 28 20:09:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ms5cg/what_bmis_do_you_consider_fat_normal_and_thin/
---
For me,

fat: BMI > 20

normal: 17.0 < BMI < 20

skinny: BMI < 17.0

What about you guys?

[Help] [Help] Are my arms going to get bigger from planks?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 28 19:30:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ms097/help_are_my_arms_going_to_get_bigger_from_planks/
---
[deleted]

[CCW] I could be one of the anti-binge photos.
/u/watermelements [5'6 | 234.0 lbs | 37.72 | -15.0lbs | F]
Created: Mon Sep 28 15:49:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mr62e/i_could_be_one_of_the_antibinge_photos/
---
As my flair suggests I could be one of the people in the anti-binge albums... I was always bigger and I've struggled with bulimia for a long time. My parents found out about that due to excessive purging and a shared bathroom, so I wasn't able to purge any longer and the binges continued. Recently I haven't been able to take it anymore, I've gained 70lbs since April, I feel like a failure and a mess. I went out to the bar to have some fun and somebody literally made the comment "why is HE dancing with HER" (I was dancing with a friend who is very good looking). I went into the bathroom to cry and pee, and I then broke the button on my jeans. I can't take this anymore, and that night I made a drunken note on my phone swearing that this won't continue... that it can't. I'm losing my mind.

So I decided that the only way to stick to this and to really make a change was to go back to my days of bulimia. I'm in university now, my parents aren't here to notice, and my friends are hundreds of miles away too. Now maybe this is going to sound horrible but I don't want to ruin my teeth again, I've just finally got them looking nice and my mouth is healthy. So I resorted to just not eating. I mean I'm fat enough to sustain myself for a loooong time... It's been amazing. Exhilarating. It's just like my bulimia days, except so so so much more comforting. I feel like I have everything in control and so much energy to do things. My room is spotless, my homework is caught up, I aced my exam. I know that I obviously am the definition of no self control but this is part of an accountability post. I WILL do this, I won't lose control again. I don't have a floor length mirror but I'll go out and get one today. I know if I take pictures and measurements and participate in the daily meal threads I will be even more motivated to stay on track. Hopefully that's okay, and if anyone wants pictures of me as motivation to not binge or for part of the "who do you want to be" posts let me know. I'm so ashamed but this isn't what I'll let myself be remembered by.

[Discussion] Antidepressants and weight
/u/knocksondoors [5'2"| 86 | 16.3 |F]
Created: Mon Sep 28 15:46:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mr5jj/antidepressants_and_weight/
---
Ok I know this topic has been touched on but as I have been through nearly every one on the market and my doctor decided to try something new I thought it might be helpful to start a thread on which meds you have been on and what effect (if any) they have had on your weight. I will be started Cymbalta and I have read mixed things online. Some people claim they have gained like crazy while others say it made them have no appetite. I'm well aware of the physics of calories in vs. calories out. But I'm also aware of certain drugs having effects on your body that are completely out of your control. I just want something that helps yet keeps me in absolute control of my physical body. I've been seriously considering suicide for a couple of months with one attempt 50 days ago. I just want to not feel this way!! This is my final attempt. Either it helps the depression and doesn't make me gain, or if it makes me gain I will stop taking it and....well, I am in my brothers wedding in November and after that I'm done. I'll probably find a gun and go the way a couple other loved ones have. I WANT to give this med a chance. For my daughter. For the people who love me despite my many dysfunctions.....anyways. Meds? Weight gain? Let's talk!!!

[Help] Does anyone else's head feel... Buzzy?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Mon Sep 28 12:59:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mqfw7/does_anyone_elses_head_feel_buzzy/
---
No joke, my head feels like it's full of static. Is it low blood sugar?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 28, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 28 10:04:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mpphu/daily_food_diary_september_28_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 28, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! September 28, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 28 06:08:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3movh3/weekly_stats_update_september_28_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for September 28, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Help] how to deal with hypo-glycemia?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 28 03:27:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3moica/how_to_deal_with_hypoglycemia/
---
ive gotten to a point where i have to eat more food than i'd like because if i don't i will feel like im dying. my veins hurt and im shaking and my mood swings get really bad and it just gets worse and worse. i don't want to see a doctor but i do want to figure out how i can stop it or manage it. any tips?

[Discussion] Husband sent on deployment
/u/Islansadi [5'7'' | 125 | 19.51 | -5 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 28 01:21:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mo92n/husband_sent_on_deployment/
---
Iā€™m 26 and have been married for 9 months now. Although Iā€™m super sad about my husband leaving for 6 months, Iā€™m also so excited for the idea ofā€¦fixing myself. I want to restrict and fast in peace, and not have anyone judge me if I want to work out multiple times a day or go running at odd hours. Finally, I get to be a hermit and only keep around enough food for me. Iā€™m a freelance photographer, so my schedule is absolutely sporadic. My sleep schedule is complete shit(It's 2am right now), and I donā€™t even eat ā€œmealsā€. I just eat when Iā€™m hungry, and try to do 24 fasts at least once a week.

My waistline has never been very big(from the viewpoint of a normal person). For my whole life, every morning I can count on my stomach being flat and empty. By the end of the day it usually gets a little wider after eating, but for the most part thatā€™s never been an issue for me. But I guess my portion sizes have been too big lately because my stomach now protrudes all. the. time. Itā€™s horrifying. I even took a pregnancy test (negative) because I am so confused as to why his is happening. Iā€™m looking down right now and even though I havenā€™t eaten in hours, I have a god damn protruding stomach. Itā€™s not that I have really any fat on my stomach, itā€™s like I just chugged a gallon of water or something, but I havenā€™t! Is it gas? I am literally incapable of ā€œsucking inā€, and when I try it is really uncomfortable, and feels like when you get cramps. What the hell is going on! It has been like this for almost 2 months. Have I done this to myself from binge/purging? Stretched my stomach out ..or created a digestion issue? If I go to a doctor, what do I say? My stomach is sticking out? Theyā€™d just roll their eyes at me and say youā€™re fine.

My goal for these six months are to finally reach my UGW and fix my waist problem, which will mean drastically reducing portion sizes for a long time. I'm thinking only liquid for the first month? And get into a eat/sleep/exersise routine.

Every minute of every day Iā€™m torn between wanting to loose 10 pounds and wanting to regain a healthy relationship with food. Itā€™s like I canā€™t decide whether i want to have the power to resist any food OR be able to eat without the thought of purging even entering my head. I want to be skinny and also happy. Wanting to cry after eating some almonds is not the person I want to be. My body is the perfect representation of skinny fat because thatā€™s exactly whatā€™s going on in my head. Do you guys ever feel like that? How horrible of a person am I for needing to be skinny so badly that I'm actually glad my husband is leaving? Do you guys have any recommendations for me, or have a similar situation you want to discuss?

[Help] Body check
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Mon Sep 28 00:40:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mo5ss/body_check/
---
http://imgur.com/jFD76UU

[Help] Just had a huge breakup. How do I prevent depression fueled binge eating?
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 27 22:15:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mnsei/just_had_a_huge_breakup_how_do_i_prevent/
---
I just had to break up with the love of my life, and I'm absolutely destroyed. I ate a lot today out of the need for "comfort", but I don't want to get in the habit of it. I'm pretty good at not binging, but everything feels pointless right now, and I'm worried about losing control.

I could use advice or someone to hold me accountable. Or I'm just sad as hell and venting. I dunno.

Thank you for reading, as always <3

[Discussion] What does being thin mean for you ?
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Sun Sep 27 19:55:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mnbwf/what_does_being_thin_mean_for_you/
---
For me being thin means not becoming my mother. It took me a long time to recognise that becoming my mum is the thing that terrified me the most.

Being thin means not becoming someone I hate.

[Discussion] Constantly breaking my feet
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Sun Sep 27 18:03:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mmxz6/constantly_breaking_my_feet/
---
Does anyone else suffer fractures in their feet from over exercise ? I'm currently sitting waiting to get yet another xray on my foot which I am sure I have broken again..... Yet I cannot stop exercising !!!

[Tip] Wearing "body shapewear" to be more conscious of size and eat less?
/u/HiccupKitten
Created: Sun Sep 27 14:37:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mm79y/wearing_body_shapewear_to_be_more_conscious_of/
---
So I'm highly considering ordering some shapewear, aka spanx or whatever, in order to be more conscious of my size and bloating and, by extension, eat less.

I need to find one in XS first though! Has anyone tried this strategy before?

(I'm especially worried that all the sweaters and leggings of winter will encourage me to binge by hiding my body, and I can't exactly afford a new wardrobe of tight fitting pants etc)

[Discussion] What is your reason for being ProED?
/u/azureking32123
Created: Sun Sep 27 11:52:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mlkwk/what_is_your_reason_for_being_proed/
---
My best friend has an ED and I know she strives to look like the girls I see here. I am just trying to get an understanding as to why she does. All input is welcome, and will not be judged. I would like as much detail as you care to give. Thank you ahead of time!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 27, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 27 10:04:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ml6os/daily_food_diary_september_27_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 27, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] New here , intro
/u/unknown_girl_23
Created: Sun Sep 27 02:30:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mk4s9/new_here_intro/
---
Hi everyone .
I was diagnosed with anorexia when I was 15 (22 now) I have had periods of time where I have been weight restored but I am currently struggling. I currently have a bmi of 15.9 and am struggling to maintain any sense of control . I feel like my eating disorder is who I am now and I fear I will never be normal again . I'm so frightened to be anything but thin . Sometimes I wish I could carve the flesh from my bones , does anyone else feel this way ?

[Discussion] The worst part of bulimia is...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 26 23:49:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mju8v/the_worst_part_of_bulimia_is/
---
-after all that bullshit, you're still fat

-when you purge and cry at the same time and your nose is running

-when food comes up halfway and starts going back down and you're like gasping/choking

[Any others?]

[Discussion] Medications - a couple of warnings
/u/FeedMeDreams
Created: Sat Sep 26 21:40:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mjinn/medications_a_couple_of_warnings/
---
**TL;DR: drugs are different for everyone. Talk to your doctor. Beware addiction.**

I've seen a few posts on here about which meds people are taking. Just thought I'd add my experiences:

I've tried half a dozen different SSRIs over the past ten years. They have all been helpful for depression and anxiety. I found Paxil in particular to be amazing. But they have all made me ridiculously, insanely hungry. A lot of people have had the same experience, but a lot of people have had completely different experiences. Some people have no weight gain at all on SSRIs.

If you're new to antidepressants but you're worried about weight gain, it can be good to talk to other people who have taken the same medication, but the person you really need to talk to is your doctor. They need to take your concerns seriously.

Also, SSRIs are usually the first type of antidepressant that people are prescribed, but they're not the only type out there. Other antidepressants have a much lower risk of weight gain, but they may not be as safe as SSRIs, or they may have other side effects.

The other drug I see talked about a lot here is Adderall, or similar drugs for ADHD. These drugs do suppress your appetite, and I used to love them for that, but they are also habit-forming. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I have a love-hate relationship with these drugs.

For me, ADHD meds (ie. stimulants) suppress my appetite, help me focus, make me more confident and talkative, and generally more productive and motivated.

But they also make me anxious. If I'm not careful, I get fixated on doing particular tasks which may not be useful (eg. cleaning the dust and grime off the tops of the kitchen cabinets, instead of completing the assignment that's due tomorrow). I get frustrated and angry easily. I lose my temper at people easily. I cannot relax when I take them; I always have to be doing something, even if there's nothing to do, even if I should actually be asleep. I can't get out of my head when I take them; I'm stuck listening to that stupid internal voice as it chews over the same three thoughts again and again for hours and hours and hours.

When I first started taking ADHD meds, they made me feel amazing. So when they started to wear off and I stopped feeling so amazing, I took a couple more, so I could keep feeling good. Eventually, no matter how many I took, I stopped feeling euphoric, but by then, I was so wired that I couldn't sleep for basically the whole night. I've spent too many nights lying in bed, wanting to die because I don't feel good any more and I'm so tired but I can't sleep, and knowing that I'll have to get up tomorrow and deal with a nightmare of a day, and just losing my sanity hour by hour until the sun comes up and I have to go and pretend to be fine all day.

So, stimulants are habit-forming, although clearly to different degrees for different people.

The other shitty thing about stimulants is that all their good qualities (loss of appetite, increased motivation, increased discipline) wear off, and when they do, you're back to the person you were before. They don't remove your appetite completely, just block it temporarily. They don't make you a more motivated person, they just give you a boost which doesn't last. They don't teach you how to be disciplined.

And the more you take them, the less effective they are. A year ago, I could fast all day on a single 5mg dose. I wouldn't feel hungry the whole time, and I could get so much shit done, so easily. Now, the same 5mg dose will make me not-hungry for an hour, then less-hungry for a couple more hours, and will improve my concentration marginally for a few hours. Then I'm back to where I started. If I don't take a dose at all, I can't concentrate, I eat absolutely everything, and I don't even care about all the work I'm not doing.

Anyway, sorry for the wall of text. Just thought I'd add my experience to the pile.

[Help] I CANT DEAL
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Sat Sep 26 20:46:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mjdcr/i_cant_deal/
---
So my (overweight)sister made buttery pasta with tomato sauce and cheese and now she's throwing a fit because I made myself a veggie platter instead.

She says I need help

she says Im just doing this for attention

She says I'm ugly the way I look

JUST FUCK OFF AND MIND YOUR OWN god I hate his

[Thinspo] Progress picture + body after several 1000+ calorie binges over two days :(
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 26 19:48:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mj7bd/progress_picture_body_after_several_1000_calorie/
---
http://imgur.com/a/kBwxR

[Thinspo] Progress pictures and body after several thousand+ calorie binges over a few days
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 26 19:11:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mj3dq/progress_pictures_and_body_after_several_thousand/
---
http://imgur.com/a/kBwxR

[Thinspo] [thinspo] my legs today!
/u/clamshells [5'7" | 115 | 18.0 | -5 | f]
Created: Sat Sep 26 15:00:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mi9jj/thinspo_my_legs_today/
---
http://i.imgur.com/ylTVJCr.jpg

[Tip] What % of people are thinner than you (by both age and height)?? Incredibly triggering BMI calculator I just found
/u/HiccupKitten
Created: Sat Sep 26 11:41:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mhjss/what_of_people_are_thinner_than_you_by_both_age/
---
http://www.bmi.name/

[Thinspo] [thinspo] taylor armstrong
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 26 11:34:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mhisn/thinspo_taylor_armstrong/
---
http://i.imgur.com/EXPJhai.jpg

[Thinspo] [thinspo] taylor momsen
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 26 11:33:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mhimy/thinspo_taylor_momsen/
---
http://i.imgur.com/A0VHsxu.jpg

[Tip] A suggestion.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 26 11:11:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mhfky/a_suggestion/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 26, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 26 10:01:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mh5v7/daily_food_diary_september_26_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 26, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] How has having an ed affected your career or school life?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 26 00:48:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mfr6s/how_has_having_an_ed_affected_your_career_or/
---
At my summer job I couldn't really perform well because I had no energy from being in a binge/fast cycle. Now with school I waste so much time that could have been used for studying and assignments either preparing and weighing out everything I eat or binging and purging :(

[Discussion] New to community, but not ed
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 26 00:40:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mfql4/new_to_community_but_not_ed/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] What's your routine?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 26 00:01:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mfn6m/whats_your_routine/
---
**Monday - Friday**

Breakfast:

>oatmeal (100)

Lunch:

>spinach salad with cucumbers, mushrooms, carrots, tomatoes, and cottage cheese (~250)

Dinner:

>protein shake (150)
>
>greek yogurt(120) if i exercised

**Saturday**

> fast

**Sunday**

Breakfast:

>scrambled eggs (200)

Lunch:

>spinach salad with cucumbers, mushrooms, carrots, tomatoes, and cottage cheese (~250)

Dinner:

>protein shake (150)
>
>greek yogurt(120) if i exercised

**Exercise:**

>Usually 5-6 miles of running, which is ~300 calories.

I'd post this in Daily thread, but I do this every day anyway.


[Goal] I hit my first ever UGW!
/u/00110100-00110010 [5'3'' | 110 | 19.5 | -20 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 25 21:37:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mf8si/i_hit_my_first_ever_ugw/
---
Hi everyone!

The last few days have been hard. I have a famously difficult English teacher this year, and I got a C on the first in-class essay we had to write. I thought I did pretty well, despite never having practiced in-class essays before (thanks, prior English teachers who totally didn't prepare me enough), so I was a little disappointed, but still determined to do better. Maybe I can't be perfect, but I can at least try, you know?

So on Wednesday I got my second in-class essay prompt. I tried my best to organize my thoughts, but by the time the class ended I hadn't gotten a single word written on the final draft paper. The teacher said we could work on them more next class, we have a block schedule so the next class was today and not Thursday.

Yesterday was brutal. My ideas weren't coming together as smoothly as I had hoped, and I began to feel anxious and horrible. Really, really terrible. Panicking more than I have ever panicked before, and that's saying something. I felt trapped, I felt like Harry Potter in the Goblet of Fire when his name comes out and he's hopelessly unprepared for the tasks that await him. That night I didn't feel safe being alone (prior mental health issues... that's a story for another day) so I stayed with my boyfriend and his family for the evening. God, that guy is my rock. It sucks to feel that way at 17, older folks often look upon our "young love" like macaroni art. He'll be going off to college next year and I have no delusions about staying together forever, but the feelings are there all the same. We're a team.

Anyway. As part of the stress response I didn't feel hungry from lunch on Wednesday to breakfast this morning. I did eat during that time even though I didn't feel like it, maybe 400 calories on Wednesday and 600 or 700 Thursday because I'm not used to fasting entirely and had no clue what effects it would have on me in such a fragile mental state. That sudden reduction in calorie intake probably kickstarted another woosh, and now I'm down to *(trumpet fanfare)* 109.4!!!

One-oh-nine-point-four. That's incredible. I just like to say it over and over again in my head. Ciento-nueve-punto-cuatro. It might not be real, it might not stay, I might have another gigantic spike and shoot right back up to 115, but oh man, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy. 110 was the first UGW I ever set for myself, way back in April when all this began. And now I'm here! And I feel beautiful!

Thank you all so much for providing me with advice and inspiration, I never would have reached this point without you.

Next stop, 105!

[Discussion] Help me. Potentially emotional abuse.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 25 20:34:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mf1jt/help_me_potentially_emotional_abuse/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Wellbutrin?
/u/deadtime3am [5'2| 110 | 20.8 | A]
Created: Fri Sep 25 18:34:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3men19/wellbutrin/
---
Any of you been on wellbutrin? Or zoloft? What were your experiences with them, and what was the impact on your appetite?

[Thinspo] The Veronicas
/u/evil_avril
Created: Fri Sep 25 14:19:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mdor4/the_veronicas/
---
https://imgur.com/a/agnhg

Why don't we have weekly progress pic posts anymore? I was looking at old posts, and it looks like the last one was in the summer. Can we bring this back?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 25 10:11:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mcng6/why_dont_we_have_weekly_progress_pic_posts/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 25, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 25 10:05:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mcmiq/daily_food_diary_september_25_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 25, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] Tell me I shouldn't be worried
/u/russianfrank [5'5 | 121 lbs | 19.4 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 25 04:13:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mbib7/tell_me_i_shouldnt_be_worried/
---
Hey guys, lurker here, first time poster.
Tell me that I shouldn't be freaking out because I'm not losing weight every day.
My BMR is 1413 kcal and I don't eat anywhere that much. I usually stay between 300-500 and drink 2+L of water.
Yesterday I went for a 6 hour walk (not all of it was walking, but most) and had about 400 cal. And when I stepped on the scales this morning, I didn't lose any weight.
Now I'm just worried and don't know why that happened. The past couple of days I've had 300-500 cal and I'm just floating around the same number. It seems like no matter how much I eat, I'll gain.
What do I do?

[Thinspo] An album of male thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 25 03:28:41 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mbf12/an_album_of_male_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/uIkOa

Lost 7lbs in ten days with this one weird trick!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 25 01:29:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3mb5ux/lost_7lbs_in_ten_days_with_this_one_weird_trick/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Is anyone else on this sub male?
/u/Reddon666 [5'4" | 151lbs | 25.9 | male]
Created: Thu Sep 24 22:39:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3maoza/is_anyone_else_on_this_sub_male/
---
I can't tell if I'm relapsing or intentionally trying to re-trigger the restrictive side of my ED. Then again, I don't actually consider myself to have a problem, so where's the difference?

I used to spend a lot of time on MPA in early 2014, back when it didn't suck. There were a handful of other guys there, but that's the only pro-ana community I can think of where that holds true.

[Help] Introduction
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 24 20:22:37 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ma79d/introduction/
---
Hi, I'm sixteen years old and I'm a high school junior. I'm 5'4 and I started at 130lbs(ugh) freshman year. Over this last summer I got down to 97.6, but then I gained it again(and more). For the past week I've been getting up to 109.4 and I feel disgusting. I haven't weighed this much in over a year(my weight loss goes very slowly, as once I get to a weight I like I seem to binge just to spite myself). I really want to get down to 98 to be at a perfect 6 stone the new see what I want once I'm there. I seem to have forgotten how to starve. For this past month I've done well all day but I always have a major binge after 5pm, eating well over 1000 calories. I'm sorry for this pity party, I just need to vent. Support and accountability would be appreciated. I feel disgusting.

What an awful introduction.

[Discussion] Adderall completely nixed appetite. I can fast effortlessly for an indeterminate time. Meal plan/calorie suggestions? And anyone want to chime in who is medicated ADD ana or used the meds to lose weight?
/u/cuddIefish [5'2" | 25.96 BMI | -13 | Female]
Created: Thu Sep 24 18:47:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m9to6/adderall_completely_nixed_appetite_i_can_fast/
---
5'2", trying to lose this last 15 lbs and keep it off. Want a kpop body <3

Flair should still have my info, but I went from 150lbs->135in 3.5 weeks just now, and want to get to 120 (or at least look like it) ;) by mid October. I tried not caring about food but I hated the way I looked with a bigger body.
**I don't want to lose muscle mass, trying to look lean and fit.**
I exercise an hour 3 times a week: elliptical, stationary bike, stairmaster, row machine. Sit ups, crunches, leg lifts, squats on a bosu ball, assisted pull ups.
I was wondering how much should I eat in a day or how I should plan my meal plan for required nutrients? Do not want to look sickly. Mom will notice.
My mom sells Isagenix (not promoting it here, it's a scummy pyramid scheme selling plan, do your research, I just have it on hand and it is convenient) so lately (these last 2 days, who am I to pretend I am more successful than reality...) I have just been doing 1 non dairy berry shake and lots of water, some gatorade.
Around 250-300 calories total for the day. Nutrition facts label [here](http://www.caloriecount.com/calories-isagenix-isalean-shake-natural-berry-i421844)
Advice?

I am legitimately allergic to dairy so keep that in mind if it matters...

[Discussion] Anybody else starving to die?
/u/Cenhinen_Bedr_Anus [5'4 | 90 | 16.14 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 24 16:56:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m9ejw/anybody_else_starving_to_die/
---
First, I was starving myself so I could be skinny. For control. I hate fat. Just the thought that my stomach pokes out even just a little bit terrifies me.

Starving myself is the way I've always been. I've never weighed more than a 100 lbs. So maybe it's the way it should end too?

Ive set so many goals and reached them all. I'm never any happier. Maybe I'm just not supposed to be and this is my bodies way of telling me that.

It'd be nice to be in control of my death too. Anyone else feel this way?

[Discussion] How many of you exercise?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Thu Sep 24 11:55:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m8693/how_many_of_you_exercise/
---
I've been trying to get myself back on track with my eating, while slooowly easing back into exercise. I used to have a bad exercise addiction, combined with the ED which lead to some really brutal health problems for me. I'm hesitant to get back to the gym because as much as I love my food control I'd rather not have a heart attack at the gym.

How many of you exercise along with your ED? Would you say your exercise habits are excessive?

[Help] Weight Loss Projection Calculators?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Thu Sep 24 10:29:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m7sub/weight_loss_projection_calculators/
---
I'm trying to use the Loser Town calorie/weight loss projection calculator in the Tips section of the sidebar and I have a question. I tend to calculate my calories based on a weekly goal versus a standard daily calorie limit. Because of the situation at home I'm expected to eat a lot more on weekends, but from Monday-Friday I can eat substantially less. I aim to eat 600 calories/day Monday-Friday and no more than 1200/day Saturday and Sunday; based on 5400 calories over 7 days, that averages out to 771 calories/day.

Calculators like Loser Town ask you to input your daily calorie consumption - if I used 771 calories based on the average daily consumption per week, would the projection of estimated weight loss be correct?

Sorry if this is confusing, it's a little technical and I'll gladly provide clarification if needed :) Thanks!

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 24, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 24 10:03:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m7ox3/daily_food_diary_september_24_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 24, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Traxafen?
/u/knocksondoors [5'2"| 86 | 16.3 |F]
Created: Thu Sep 24 09:46:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m7m8o/traxafen/
---
Just wondering if anyone else has tried this....I took one as directed and bam, 30 minutes later I feel.....funny. I wanted something for an energy boost without the caffeine in it because I already drink so much coffee every day. This stuff is marketed as an appetite suppressant, energy boosting fat burner. Like, I feel....odd. kind of scary odd. I'm not sure if my heart is beating too fast or too slow. I'm going to lay down. I wanted to run. But I don't feel right. Perhaps these pills were not meant for someone who is underweight? I'm super depressed today anyways so I think I'll just sleep it off. If I sleep for a few hours at least I'm not eating and not cutting. Positives, right?! Ugh. I'm sick of me too.

[Discussion] Hi I'm new
/u/Ultimatedream [5'5 | 134 | 21.6 | -31 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 24 04:02:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m6k86/hi_im_new/
---
Pretty much. I already posted a few things, but I'd like to introduce myself, I guess.
I'm female, 23 yo and from the Netherlands. I'm 5'5 and my current weight is 136, but I started at 165 in January. I gained a lot of weight because of my meds for my depression, I really didn't feel anything anymore, not even shame for all the eating I did. I quit meds in December and started to lose weight. I tried the healthy way, but quickly fell back in my old habits. I have a little history with ED's, my lowest weight was only 99 (my ugw is 90 now).
I restrict a lot, eating under 600 is my goal, but I do tend to bing in the weekends when my boyfriend comes over and I always gain weight in the weekend.

I guess that was it. Hi everyone!

[Goal] Checking in.
/u/oyje [5'5| 131 | 21.8 | -14 | f]
Created: Thu Sep 24 02:53:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m6fe5/checking_in/
---
I am absolutely *bored* of being fat. I am 145 lbs at this moment, and this is the highest that I've ever been in my life. When I was eleven, I "became"(?) bulimic, regularly purging and so on. I was 96lbs at my lowest, which is sad. I "recovered" when I was 16, but now I'm eighteen and just bored of this. Last night, I went out with friends, and just ate so much shit food and drank so much beer, and this morning I am tired and bloated and just fucking gross.

I let myself get so bad. My home is a mess, I am so lazy, I do nothing but sleep or play video games at home, I've wasted hundreds and hundreds of euro on food. I dropped out of university. My boyfriend doesn't ever want to hang out with me.

Today, I am stopping. I quit. I won't drink another beer, I won't eat over 600cal a day, I'll go for a run every day, I won't quit until I'm under 100lbs again. I'll throw out my shit food and go grocery shopping today. I'll start cleaning right now. I'm done. I'm going to get "better". I'll check in again every once in a while. Thank y'all for being around.

Edit: removed pic out of paranoia, sorry.

[Help] Somewhat urgent questions for the purgers: I feel like my esophagus is tight, almost spasming.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 23 23:36:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m5zt5/somewhat_urgent_questions_for_the_purgers_i_feel/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] Another thinspo album
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 23 18:36:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m502w/another_thinspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/4zWbB

[CCW] How am I Doing?
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 23 14:36:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m426r/how_am_i_doing/
---
I'm sorry if this is obnoxious of me, but I wanted to post a progress picture and possibly get some feedback. I'm at my lowest weight since before puberty, but I still feel absolutely massive. I don't feel like I look even remotely close to what my current weight is. I intend to lose another 3-5 pounds at least for now.

My current weight is 87 pounds, I am 5'4" tall, and my measurements are about 30-24-33, give or take.

Image: [Link here](https://36.media.tumblr.com/8a196fbf8f25e4e05cb9bdb0071c5240/tumblr_nv5cmxlz6I1shye2no1_1280.jpg)- I blocked out my breasts and edited out some distinguishing freckles, as well as my phone case, but otherwise this image is unaltered.

I really appreciate any feedback, or anything really. If this post at all violates any rules I will remove it immediately.

Thank you all for your constant support, I really do love this community. Again, I apologize if this is inappropriate.

Ps: If anyone is interested I could post progress pictures as well. Though I hardly notice much of a difference over the last couple pounds and years.

[Help] Help eating out constantly....
/u/amidala12
Created: Wed Sep 23 10:40:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m31y4/help_eating_out_constantly/
---
I'm really good about not going out to eat and when I do go out with friends to eat it's pretty easy to say no because I already know that we are going to be eating so I can prepare and it's a much more simple mental decision. The problem is I manage a tex-mex restaurant and over an 8 hour shift it becomes a much more difficult struggle. I don't know how many calories are in most of our dishes, and portion size and amount breading and butter and beans used in our dishes vary a lot. I count calories regularly but I have no way of being accurate so I hate eating there. I have trouble saying no when there's free food and i haven't eaten in a few hours which is most shifts. Any tips to avoid munching on hot yummy free food that I can't track well? Or maybe a better way to track it?

[Goal] This used to be me...goal weight
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 23 10:12:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m2xpc/this_used_to_be_megoal_weight/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 23, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 23 10:04:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m2whf/daily_food_diary_september_23_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 23, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Intro...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 23 09:31:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m2rqu/intro/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Advice for resisting the insane amount of free Halloween candy?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 22 23:24:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m167v/advice_for_resisting_the_insane_amount_of_free/
---
[deleted]

[Thinspo] It was so fabulous! Now it shrunk down to almost nothing, you see... And I still remember in my mind how things used to be... And huh... You know... I feel very bad.
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 22 21:22:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m0tob/it_was_so_fabulous_now_it_shrunk_down_to_almost/
---
http://www.myproana.com/uploads/monthly_01_2015/post-37809-142197185681.jpg

[Goal] Awkward new girl.
/u/violentdancer [5'9" | 154 | 22.3 | -9 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 22 20:51:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m0q2j/awkward_new_girl/
---
I will try my best to be brief. I am new to reddit (beyond lurker status) and am still learning.

I am 23 yo and a wifey but am a writer above all else. My ED history extends 12 years back. It started as anorexia when I was the first girl in my grade to develop. I was 11, 5'9" with DDs and hips with a donk and thunder thighs despite a small waist and thin arms, and was pissed I wasn't skinny enough to wear the Abercrombie jeans everyone else wore. Mom and doctor teamed up to threaten me with weekly weigh-ins if I didn't gain (I was fourteen by this point).

I fasted on and off throughout highschool when I was able. My parents had removed all scales in the house but the mirrors in my dance studio told me enough. I crashed my motorcycle when I was 17 and destroyed my knee. This led to a hefty weight gain (156 was the highest number I ever was able to glimpse). I maintained this weight until I moved cross country for college and began a nutrition course as an elective which required me to log my food. I became obsessed with the challenge of getting my caloric intake lower and lower. I was down to 138 for about a year.

Sophomore year I learned how to purge. I would go on extensive binges and purge in the dorm shower with a loose drain cover. I got down to 140 but held around there.

Junior year I got engaged to my boyfriend of a year and a half. He started drinking heavily. He became abusive in every manner and I became withdrawn. I dropped to 108 lbs.

Senior year was very rough. Won't get into the details but it was the most horrific few months of my life. But I was in a wonderful long distance relationship and after graduation eventually ended up checking into inpatient treatment for bulimia for two months. I was released, got engaged, got married. Moved.

I started binging and purging again a few months in. I have since stopped but have gained SO much weight and was the heaviest I have ever been. That combined with the isolation that comes with moving to a new place paired with crippling social anxiety led to the relapse into fasting.

I apologize for the lengthy post but I am so thankful for the outlet. For years I have felt isolated by the daily struggle. I will do my best to be active in this sub C:

[Thinspo] Procrastination = another short thinspo album!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 22 19:14:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3m0dop/procrastination_another_short_thinspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/4zWbB

[Tip] [PSA] Get a free month's supply of Slender Blend Capsules with every Protein World order over Ā£10/ā‚¬15/US$15/AUS$15
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 22 11:14:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lyi7i/psa_get_a_free_months_supply_of_slender_blend/
---
http://i.imgur.com/1sLGT9O.jpg

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 22, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 22 10:04:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ly7nu/daily_food_diary_september_22_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 22, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Do you think you will ever be ready to recover or seek treatment? Have you in the past?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 21 23:38:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lwjdq/do_you_think_you_will_ever_be_ready_to_recover_or/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lwjdq/do_you_think_you_will_ever_be_ready_to_recover_or/

[Thinspo] Who do you want to be? 5 [anti-binge thinspo] NSFW
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 21 20:22:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lvy0g/who_do_you_want_to_be_5_antibinge_thinspo_nsfw/
---
http://imgur.com/a/e5eJ9

[Thinspo] Short back thinspo album
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 21 15:29:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3luuq8/short_back_thinspo_album/
---
http://imgur.com/a/KXQ4i

[Thinspo] Some thinspo for a gloomy Monday
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 122 | 20.54 | -34 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 21 14:54:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lupgk/some_thinspo_for_a_gloomy_monday/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ldX43

[Help] I need someone to help me stick to my goals...
/u/dawnleeming
Created: Mon Sep 21 12:42:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lu5iq/i_need_someone_to_help_me_stick_to_my_goals/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 21, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 21 10:04:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lti23/daily_food_diary_september_21_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 21, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[F/29/190lbs] Looking for a fasting buddy
/u/FastingBuddies
Created: Mon Sep 21 07:11:48 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lsuqs/f29190lbs_looking_for_a_fasting_buddy/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! September 21, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 21 06:09:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lso38/weekly_stats_update_september_21_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for September 21, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html)) and ([click here to see how!](http://imgur.com/a/CADuK))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

**^Chart ^comprised ^of ^the ^data ^provided ^during ^the ^current ^and ^previous ^weeks' ^updates.**

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Anyone recommend good Tumblr's to follow?
/u/awfuljusttosee [5'5" | 60.5kg | 21.69 | -3kg | F]
Created: Sun Sep 20 23:39:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lrr3q/anyone_recommend_good_tumblrs_to_follow/
---
whether it be your own or just one you're a fan of, can anyone recommend any good blog's to follow? one that posts inspiration, recipes, tips, etc? thanks!

[Thinspo] Weightless
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 20 23:20:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lrp9e/weightless/
---
http://imgur.com/gallery/hI5hFoE/new

[Discussion] Do people with eating disorders often have problems with their kidneys?
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Sun Sep 20 18:39:58 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lqs57/do_people_with_eating_disorders_often_have/
---
That is going to be the dumbest question I've ever asked but idk who to ask lol. I browse myproana a lot and I see a lot of threads about people getting kidney infections and soreness/pain so I got curious. I always see those topics come up. Obviously starving makes you sick but what does it do to your kidneys?

[Discussion] Restricting out of stress instead of B/P?
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 20 14:21:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lps6g/restricting_out_of_stress_instead_of_bp/
---
So in the past I feel like I used to binge out of stress, but lately I've been restricting more whenever things seem to go wrong. It's weirdly calming being slightly dizzy and withdrawn and spending more time by myself.


Anyway, I had the worst fight I've ever had with my mom today. She always screams at me from the top of her lungs like a crazy person, and it took all I had in me today not to raise my voice at her and to try to reason with her but nothing worked. Immediately after fighting with me she went and got soooooo much fast food for herself, and I only realized just now that she always does that when she's upset. And I just remember thinking "That is disgusting, I don't want to be like her, I'm sad and angry so I'm just going to not eat the rest of the day". I guess it was like something just clicked.


The only downside is I've been *so* apathetic lately and started self harming again today. This feels so different then other times I've been "sick"...I used to get so angry at myself for cutting or purging or really anything but lately I just don't care, sometimes I even love it and it scares me.


Discussion/advice/whatever is welcome I just felt like I needed to share with someone :)

[Help] Please help
/u/justanotherhungrygrl
Created: Sun Sep 20 14:10:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lpqmv/please_help/
---
I'm no stranger when it comes to eating disorders. I was initially diagnosed with anorexia 6 years ago, which then converted into bulimia which made me go up to 180 pounds ( I know, horrible). Since last year, I've been restricting, which helped me go down to 120 pounds. From January 2015 to March/April, I managed to go down to 90 pounds since I would fast for 5 days and then have one binge and purge session per week.. But, alas, my parents made start treatment, and my anorexia converted, once again, into bulimia. So, here I am, at 130 pounds and feeling ashamed and disgusted with myself. I feel like crying everytime I look in the mirror.
I want... no, NEED to go back to 90 pounds. I hate this body.
I'm asking your help and support. Everyday is a battle to not binge and purge. I want to break out of this cycle and find that control and strength I once had.
Thank you for hearing me rant, lovelies
Warmest wishes

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 20, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 20 10:03:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3loq51/daily_food_diary_september_20_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 20, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Did you consciously decide to be anorexic or did anorexia just happen?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 19 23:59:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lndjx/did_you_consciously_decide_to_be_anorexic_or_did/
---
If anyone has read *Wasted*, Marya is first bulimic but wants to be anorexic then becomes anorexic.

Did anyone experience something similar where you consciously decide that you want to be anorexic and you actually do (like you have the actual diagnosis from a doctor).

For me, I started when I was 11-12 and didn't know what EDs were, but then I stopped and was "normal" mostly and then it came back towards senior year of high school where I actually consciously wanted to be anorexic. So I guess I always had it, but it's like, did the decision cause my ED, or did my ED cause the decision.

[Help] Hungry!
/u/A_Sly_Fox [172cm | 65kg | 21 | 15kg | F]
Created: Sat Sep 19 23:04:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ln8xg/hungry/
---
I have a quick question -
I've been keeping pretty low on calories. I don't count, but I have before and I know I'm under 400 every day. It's been pretty constant for about 3 weeks now, and I've been feeling fine (except for fainting every now and again).

However, just yesterday and today I have been SO hungry. Like uncontrollably starving. I find this strange because I've had no appetite lately. Does anyone have similar experiences or advice?

Thanks in advance :)

[Thinspo] Who do you want to be 4? [anti-binge thinspo]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 19 21:06:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lmwwg/who_do_you_want_to_be_4_antibinge_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/j7Xm7

Intro + such
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 19 19:33:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lmmh7/intro_such/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I dont know what happened.
/u/Panda_Melody
Created: Sat Sep 19 13:56:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3llfwi/i_dont_know_what_happened/
---
I binged really bad these past 3 days. Consuming upwards of 2000 cal a day maybe more on the last.
By the end of yesterday I felt so bloated and disgusting knowing all that food was just sitting in me making me fat.

I was doing so good too ! Successfully restricting under 400 a day and fasting 3 days a week for 3 weeks without a major binge.

I wanted to get all that food weight out of my system before i weighed myself to see just how much damage ive done so i took a natural laxative last night and tomorrow morning ill weigh myself and see whats up. But today its going to be only water. And possibly tomorrow too.


Sorry for the rant :/ im just disapointed in myself. I was so close to being back in the 130s just 1 lb to go. Now ive probly gone back up like 3 lbs.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 19, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 19 10:03:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lkim6/daily_food_diary_september_19_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 19, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


Dealing with depression and ED, any advice?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 19 04:36:04 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ljkx6/dealing_with_depression_and_ed_any_advice/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Intro...
/u/plainskinny [5 | 120 | 24| 45 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 18 22:46:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lithq/intro/
---
I've been lurking on here for a while and finally feel like now is a good time to start being active. I'm sorry if I'm doing this flair wrong or if I do something wrong on here, I'm pretty self conscious about posting anything to any social media. I have had "disordered" eating ever since eighth grade. I use to purge a lot in eighth grade, and then in ninth grade I started binging, and restricting, and binging, and restricting, and purging. It has been a journey. Haha. I've never been diagnosed but I've been having serious problems with food, which I hide very well. In tenth grade I got really involved with drugs and lost a ton of weight and got down to around 120ish which is still huge but it was a lot better than 140 which was my usual weight. My parents found out I was abusing drugs so they grounded me for 6 months and watched everything I did. I ballooned back up to 165, which was my highest weight. I recently got out of an abusive relationship, which has been a journey within itself, and I've been using restricted eating as a way to cope with emotional pain. It makes me happy and I so happy knowing, for the most part, I have complete control of my life. I got out of my relationship in May and since then I have lost 38 pounds. I'm still huge and I still feel huge but obsessing over food makes everything in the world so much easier. Planning my meals, and exercise, and making to do lists, and everything like that has taken my mind off of everything and made me content with my life. I'm currently 127 and my next goal weight is 120. I ultimately want to get down to 80-82. I feel like this subreddit is my safe place, and every time I get stressed or sad I come here and immediately feel better and I hope you all accept me. :)

[Help] Been keeping very low cal for 3 months, first day shit hit fan with my daily calories :(
/u/crc10320 [5'1'' | 127 | - 53 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 18 21:35:31 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3limb0/been_keeping_very_low_cal_for_3_months_first_day/
---
So I have been keeping about 600-1000 calories for about three months now, average about 800. Maybe one day every week or two I would hit 1200. I have never gone over 1200 in probably three months. Its been very difficult, I try to run about 10ish miles a week too. I have lost a lot of weight. But Im still about 15lbs from my goal, soooo close I want to cry. I started getting chest pains (which ugh Im ignoring) but today I completely derailed and ate i don't even know how much, probably over 2000 and I still want to eat. I was doing so well! Its amazing it just takes one day to fuck up your mind and body. How do I do this? I haven't prepared mentally to handle this.

[Help] Everyone wants me to stop purging, but I have no desire to stop. What should I do?
/u/Lasttimelord1207
Created: Fri Sep 18 20:36:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lig1g/everyone_wants_me_to_stop_purging_but_i_have_no/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lig1g/everyone_wants_me_to_stop_purging_but_i_have_no/

looking for accountability buddies!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Fri Sep 18 18:29:59 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3li1w1/looking_for_accountability_buddies/
---
[removed]

[Help] New to this...
/u/skinnywishlist [5'9" | 123 | 18.2 | -8 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 18 13:35:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lgz0f/new_to_this/
---
Hi so this is a first time for me posting on here!

I'll try summarise my background with eating... I was always seen as skinny when I was younger until I started university and through my first year of uni I just ballooned. I felt disgustingly fat yet the more disgusting I felt, the more food I ate. Then as I ate more, I began to purge and this became an ongoing thing. I hated myself for my lack of will power and this lack of will power has never changed until 2 years ago when I restricted/fasted for months, my cal max. would never go over 500 and I had a bmi I was 'okay' with until my friends and family started worrying. I convinced myself that it was okay to start eating 'normally' again as I could control it.

And as you can see... I'm here, posting this so that control didn't happen. Atm I'v just began working as a full-time teacher and as much as I love the job, I hate looking at myself because my weight is increasing again and I need to something about it quick because I can't face feeling that low again, not now I'm responsible for so many little ones.

Sorry this wasn't as short as I thought I could make it but basically, I'd be really grateful for any support for binging & any guidance on this site would be much appreciated x

[Help] Need Serious Help/Tips/Support
/u/shapeofagirl [5'8" | 129 | 19.61 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 18 11:59:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lgkzl/need_serious_helptipssupport/
---
So, I've been stressed out to the absolute max for like a month now and guess what: I've been binging (without purging!) for an entire goddamn month.

I must have gained 15 pounds.

I need to start fasting and restricting again, but I can't keep myself accountable. If anyone wanted to offer support/tips to stopping a huge binging cycle, I'd really really appreciate it.

This has never happened before, I usually keep myself in the ~17 BMI range, so this is pretty devastating for me.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 18, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 18 10:04:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lg3os/daily_food_diary_september_18_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 18, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Thinspo] Thinspo wannabe, I swear I do not have giant hands....they just look huge here for some reason!
/u/knocksondoors [5'2"| 86 | 16.3 |F]
Created: Thu Sep 17 20:54:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ldvns/thinspo_wannabe_i_swear_i_do_not_have_giant/
---
http://imgur.com/aPCLfzx

[Discussion] If you could go back and tell pre-eating disorder you anything, what would you say?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 17 20:31:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ldsz5/if_you_could_go_back_and_tell_preeating_disorder/
---
https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ldsz5/if_you_could_go_back_and_tell_preeating_disorder/

[Help] Things are... blocked... laxative help?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 17 18:19:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ldd4b/things_are_blocked_laxative_help/
---
[deleted]

[Help] plateau
/u/childshair [5'7" | 108.6 | 17 | -5.4 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 17 10:37:02 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lbj0l/plateau/
---
how do i get out of this stupid plateau?? I've been 110 for forever now and I just lost .2lbs. Probably water weight but I'm sick of seeing that number. Help??

[Tip] [TIP] RTD Protein Shakes (51g protein/3g fat/3g carbs/250 cal) are my new favorite thing
/u/eedeebeeteezee
Created: Thu Sep 17 10:25:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lbh8n/tip_rtd_protein_shakes_51g_protein3g_fat3g/
---
Hi! This is a throwaway because friends know my reddit username. But I've been lurking here for a few months now. Revently, [I found something on Amazon](http://www.amazon.com/MET-Rx-Protein-Plus-RTD-Chocolate/dp/B002XDRCXA) that might be useful to you guys.

It's a 250 calorie protein shake with 51g protein and a lot of vitamins and minerals (including 100% calcium, which is imperative with how badly bone loss can get with ana). It's rich and filling, too. I usually make a 'meal' of it with some glucomannan tablets and a liter of water; the combination of the protein and fiber kill my appetite with little effort without making me feel bloated.

The downside is that it may be kind of expensive for some people. It's ~$3.50 a can, but it's the best protein to calorie ratio I've found that's also essentially a multi vitamin too. I personally like the taste-- it's way better than most protein shakes I've tried--but that is also something to keep in mind.

Also, the 250 calories may be a little high for some. In my case, I try to aim for around 500-600 calories a day. While this does take up half my calories for the day, the remaining ~300 is definitely enough to keep me filled if I stick with low-calorie, high-volume foods. For example, I can still eat a full pound of roasted cauliflower with a tsp of olive oil (200 calories) and 8oz of shirataki noodles with a 1/2 cup of alfredo sauce (100 calories) and still be within my budget.

I've been drinking one most days for the past two weeks, and I've already ordered another dozen. It's definitely become a staple for me, and I really recommend it.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 17, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 17 10:03:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3lbe37/daily_food_diary_september_17_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 17, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Thinspo] Thanks for the phone wallpaper ;-)
/u/knocksondoors [5'2"| 86 | 16.3 |F]
Created: Wed Sep 16 20:17:32 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l9386/thanks_for_the_phone_wallpaper/
---
http://imgur.com/eFe11ci

[Thinspo] Ted Lawson's Metamorphosis of Eve Sculpture
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 16 20:17:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l937r/ted_lawsons_metamorphosis_of_eve_sculpture/
---
http://imgur.com/bF86n4T

[Thinspo] Let's stop bingeing
/u/TargaryenPie [5"7 | 110 | 17.5 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 16 17:06:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l8f4m/lets_stop_bingeing/
---
http://imgur.com/a/GdMKE

[Thinspo] A few of my favorites from my old blog. Sorry if any of these are reposts!
/u/somanyjellyrolls [5'5" | 122 | 20.54 | -34 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 16 13:37:14 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l7kur/a_few_of_my_favorites_from_my_old_blog_sorry_if/
---
http://imgur.com/a/0Gcj0

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 16, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 16 10:04:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l6pcg/daily_food_diary_september_16_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 16, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


Question about my diet?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 15 20:12:11 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l4dh6/question_about_my_diet/
---
[deleted]

[Help] thinspo blogs for specifically men?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 15 13:47:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l2xkz/thinspo_blogs_for_specifically_men/
---
hey, are there any thinspo blogs or websites with pictures of skinny men? i mean, the girls everyone post look amazing but its hard for me to relate to them, because, well, i'm a guy. thanks :)

[Discussion] DAE fast all day with no need for food, only to get intense hunger pains in the evenings?
/u/vixen91 [5'4" | 118 | 20.25 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 15 11:47:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l2g91/dae_fast_all_day_with_no_need_for_food_only_to/
---
I'll get insatiably hungry after being perfectly happy on nothing but black coffee and a banana all day. The moment I cross my threshold, I feel so hungry it makes me sick to my stomach and dizzy; I feel like I can't fall asleep hungry.

Am I the only one? I think it's gotta be some kind of food-as-a-reward thing after a really exhausting day. What do you do to avoid a prebedtime binge?

[Discussion] Binge cycle
/u/gossamerwings_ [5'6" | 155 | 25.05 | -14 | F]
Created: Tue Sep 15 10:32:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l25fq/binge_cycle/
---
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, but for the past couple weeks I feel like I have no control over what I've been eating. I feel like I just keep eating and eating and eating. Some of it, I'm sure, is stress from starting university this month, but I hate it. I can *feel* how fat I'm getting. I was doing so well before, and now I feel like this fat tub of lard. I need to be at least 130 by Christmas.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 15, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 15 10:04:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l21ao/daily_food_diary_september_15_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 15, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] IG thinspo?
/u/ckeysoup
Created: Tue Sep 15 01:52:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l0mn2/ig_thinspo/
---
Hey everyone! I'm looking for some instas that have good thinspo/thinspo quotes. Most of them I find tend to be out dated or don't update anymore. Do you guys know any good ones?

Thanks in advance!

[Help] Packing Lunch
/u/childshair [5'7" | 108.6 | 17 | -5.4 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 14 23:57:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l0db3/packing_lunch/
---
I just bought little 8oz mason jars to put my lunch in and I have no idea what to pack.
I have a pretty hectic schedule which includes waking up at 8am and doing homework and going to class from 12-3/5 depending on the day and then going straight to work from 4/6-10 depending on the day.
I have no idea what to pack and I thought the small mason jars would help a lot with portion control.

[Tip] Volumetrics + "4 PM"
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 14 22:56:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3l07kr/volumetrics_4_pm/
---
[deleted]

[Help] Help with binging
/u/ryisan
Created: Mon Sep 14 14:58:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kyijd/help_with_binging/
---
For reference I am 5'4" and around 100 pounds.
I eat a 100 cal protein bar for breakfast. Lunch is a cup of grapes, maybe 20 of them. Dinner I can't really skip though, because I eat with my parents and I can't let them know. They are fairly healthy, and it's all cooked at home, but it's still too many calories. I can't let them find out about me though.
When I get home from school (2:30-3:30), I binge. Then I run and try to burn it off, but I can't get rid of everything. From when I get home to about 7:30, I need to stay in control but I can never do it. It's pathetic and disgusting, I know, and I hate it so much.
I guess what I'm asking is if you guys can help me keep in control and if you can help me with excuses to eat less at dinner. Please help me. I'm gross and I really really need to regain control.

[Tip] what sport do you recommend?
/u/helloskinnyme
Created: Mon Sep 14 13:54:18 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ky8wu/what_sport_do_you_recommend/
---
Hey you all !!

I have about 22 lbs to loose :) so I started restricting to 500 cal a day to speed up the process I would like to work out but I don't know what's the best workout ...

Any tips? What do you recommend?
Thank you !!

[Discussion] InQuizie Porn Stars Ranking
/u/nanobyt3
Created: Mon Sep 14 12:20:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kxua5/inquizie_porn_stars_ranking/
---
http://inquizie.com/category/porn%20stars#.VfcNoRFVhBc

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 14, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 14 10:04:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kx9k0/daily_food_diary_september_14_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 14, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Thinspo] Tiny Little Legs - B&W Thinspo
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 14 09:01:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kx0ou/tiny_little_legs_bw_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/vEpUq

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! September 14, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 14 06:08:23 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kwf7u/weekly_stats_update_september_14_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for September 14, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html)) and ([click here to see how!](http://imgur.com/a/CADuK))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

**^Chart ^comprised ^of ^the ^data ^provided ^during ^the ^current ^and ^previous ^weeks' ^updates.**

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Thinspo] Late '90s - Early '00s Thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 14 04:18:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kw5na/late_90s_early_00s_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/355Fh

Vogue Russia - Anna Selezneva
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 14 01:16:25 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kvrdh/vogue_russia_anna_selezneva/
---
http://settingthebarre.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/anna-selezneva-by-patrick-demarchelier-for-vogue-russia-october-2012-3.jpeg

Vogue Russia - Anna Selezneva
/u/[deleted]
Created: Mon Sep 14 01:15:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kvrbc/vogue_russia_anna_selezneva/
---
http://focusfeaturesmedia.com/uploads/image/mediafile/1299716927-59935291addab7f7b27c45e9c36051df/x950.jpg

[Thinspo] The body of my dreams and the body my appetite wants me to have (from an old eating disorder commercial)
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 13 23:10:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kvg9g/the_body_of_my_dreams_and_the_body_my_appetite/
---
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ff/a5/7a/ffa57ae23b0c5776d7096ee409d14655.jpg

[Discussion] Family meals rant
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 13 23:02:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kvffs/family_meals_rant/
---
This past week my siblings were staying with my dad and my mom was staying with her boyfriend, so I had the house to myself and therefor complete control over what I ate and was able to freely weigh out all of my food so I could know exactly how much I ate. I actually felt really good!

This weekend, however, everyone came back and now I'm back to eating dinner with the family. The lack of control over what I'm eating and having to guesstimate how much I actually ate is really upsetting and I'm afraid it's going to trigger a binge. There's also the added problem of my parents starting to criticize my food choices and notice my weight loss, making it difficult to get out of supper. I can't save all of my calories for the evening anymore, because I need energy for clinical and studying.

Sorry for the rant, does anyone else sympathize or have any tips?

[Help] Joining this sub at my highest weight in years. :-(
/u/sothrowmeawayalready
Created: Sun Sep 13 21:23:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kv549/joining_this_sub_at_my_highest_weight_in_years/
---
I'm miserable and I hate myself, I don't know how I let it get so out of control... I'm 134 pounds now, up from 122 this past winter. (I never even reached my real goal weight before everything went to shit and I binged myself up TWELVE pounds)

Well, it stops here.

Today is a new start.

My first goal is to get back down to 120. After that, 110, and eventually I want to be in the 100-105 range.

I want to believe I can do it.

[Discussion] Hey guys
/u/DeadliestSnatch_
Created: Sun Sep 13 20:39:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kuzyr/hey_guys/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Trying to be okay with my weight didn't work.
/u/allowmetodie [5'11" | 154 | 20.8 | +10 | M]
Created: Sun Sep 13 19:30:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kurmr/trying_to_be_okay_with_my_weight_didnt_work/
---
I've gained ten pounds in only a few weeks. Food doesn't stress me out as much as it used to, but it's not worth it. I'm eating almost 4000 calories per day. I would be okay with staying around 145, but I can't do that. All I know how to do is gain or lose.

Just wanted to post her because it's apparently the only place on the damn planet that thinks 800 calories/day is better than 4000.

[Thinspo] Lounging Around
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 13 18:42:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kulxa/lounging_around/
---
http://imgur.com/a/RgGiB

[Help] Pissed off, plateau from hell?
/u/deadtime3am [5'2| 110 | 20.8 | A]
Created: Sun Sep 13 18:24:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kujuk/pissed_off_plateau_from_hell/
---
So, I have been maintaining 110 lbs for about two or three weeks now. I do not get it. I count my calories, and log it. According to my fitbit, my average calorie burn is about 1750 a day. I usually eat anywhere from 500-700 calories. Yet I'm not losing a single pound?! (Aside from the obvious food and water weight.)

What. The. Fuck. I'm at my wits end. I decided to eat more kcals for the last week, so I've been eating around 1000, and have had a pretty decently active week, so I've been burning almost 2000 kcals each day. Now, I know that plateaus happen, but this is just excessive as fuck.

I'm starting to think I should just fast for a week and see what happens, but I would rather stick to restricting instead of having that risk of binging. Does anyone have any ideas?!

[Thinspo] Hipbones and tattoos
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 122 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 13 17:36:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kudwb/hipbones_and_tattoos/
---
http://imgur.com/TtF3RBf

[Discussion] (Discussion) DAE have knock knees?
/u/onepostforme
Created: Sun Sep 13 15:51:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ku0a5/discussion_dae_have_knock_knees/
---
I am hyper mobile (waiting on official diagnosis of ehlers danlos syndrome) and I have knock knees which means when I bring my legs together my knees touch before my ankles do. It's not severe but after realizing that my knee joints are fucked up it suddenly makes sense why my thigh gap always looks different than other girls with thigh gaps. When looking at thinspo thigh gaps with their ankles together their legs looked longer and thinner than mine because their knees and calves don't touch while mine do. I've been obsessing over this for years and I'm starting to think it has a lot more to do with my bone structure than weight. So my question is does anyone else have their knees touch without their thighs and ankles touching? For those of you with thigh gaps and straight knees, do your calves touch when you bring your ankles together? I'm just having a hard time comparing myself to others, not that it would make me like my body any more, but it gives me a benchmark for what's possible/real.

[Goal] Reached my first goal weight!
/u/TargaryenPie [5"7 | 110 | 17.5 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 13 12:42:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kt9mu/reached_my_first_goal_weight/
---
So excited I just had to share... I reached my first goal of 110 lbs!!! My next goal is 105, and my UGW is 100 which I hope to reach by the end of the month.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 13, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 13 10:03:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ksn46/daily_food_diary_september_13_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 13, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[CCW] Intro post - back to Uni, fasting and more
/u/-lightered [5'1" | 94lbs | 17.8 | -23lb | F]
Created: Sun Sep 13 07:22:49 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ks3xj/intro_post_back_to_uni_fasting_and_more/
---
Hello all,

I hope this kind of post is allowed.

I've been in various stages of recovery and sickness for 6 years. I'm not sure why I'm writing this now. Coming up for my last year of uni and I feel like the ED is collapsing around me again, but I'm happier for it - been on a binge/purge cycle for too long that it's nice to go back to restricting. I'm on day 2 into a fast currently and not sure when I'll eat again.

My lowest weight was 78lbs, a long time ago. I don't think I want to go back there but I do want to be around 84lbs by the time I graduate uni.

Does anyone have any advice they can give me for motivation? There's loads of things I should be doing to prepare for my last year at uni and all I'm doing is sitting at home stressing about it, watching Supersize VS Superskinny, and stressing more about it. Or any tips on how to focus when fasting?

[Thinspo] Home office
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 13 07:01:57 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ks1xe/home_office/
---
http://i.imgur.com/3KKMdY4.jpg

[Goal] Lowest reliably taken weight in three years!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 13 06:34:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3krz8a/lowest_reliably_taken_weight_in_three_years/
---
Hello! I'm a [18F] with a historical AN diagnosis, with residual symptoms. Yesterday I hit my lowest reliably measured weight since 2012: 19.03 old BMI, 19.74 new BMI. It may not seem like much, but it's a lot to me, as I was tipping 25 at the end of last year.

Unfortunately, what with boozey celebrations of Corbyn's win and all, I gained 600g overnight. I'm on track to lose it today, though.

[Tip] Needed this today, thought it might be helpful to others
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 97 | 19 | -18| F]
Created: Sat Sep 12 18:04:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kq4i6/needed_this_today_thought_it_might_be_helpful_to/
---
http://41.media.tumblr.com/78095b5b37e00ddc5aa5d1f5f6cebbfc/tumblr_nheit37sbo1se3m3bo1_500.jpg

[CCW] feels good man :)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 12 17:59:21 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kq3wo/feels_good_man/
---
http://imgur.com/F7demW4

[Discussion] A healthy way to do Chewing and Spitting. Anybody tried this approach?
/u/af505
Created: Sat Sep 12 17:55:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kq3f3/a_healthy_way_to_do_chewing_and_spitting_anybody/
---
Could there be a healthier way to do C&S to lose weight? Described below.

I'm aware that C&S is advised against for many reasons. Increased grehlin and decreases obestain (increases hunger), ulcers over time, increases insulin, etc. But this is due to C&S of 100% of a meal.

However, if one does C&S most of the meal but, say, eats half an apple and a few almonds as well, I'm wondering if that doesn't effectively negate the effects (granted I'm new at this, don't know for sure yet). All of the negative effects that have been listed for C&S have been linked to no food or only residual particles entering the stomach. In the scenario that I am suggesting, food is swallowed.

In this scenario, the physical causes would be negated because the individual is swallowing food (albeit healthy food) while CS'ing other food (e.g., pie, Twinkies, or excess healthy food, whatever).

Please no bashing or condemning here. I'm actually proposing a serious question that seems to have a sound, healthy answer. But I'm not sure so I'm open to feedback.

And I'm not sure this is the right forum for this discussion so if not I can politely leave no offense

[Help] *TW* New here - ex Ana/current BED
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 12 16:52:47 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kpvkx/tw_new_here_ex_anacurrent_bed/
---
[deleted]

[Help] I've been screwing up a lot. Going to try to fast.
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 12 13:44:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kp5sj/ive_been_screwing_up_a_lot_going_to_try_to_fast/
---
First of all I'm sorry that I post so often, I hope it's not too annoying.

I haven't been restricting to the degree that I like, and I feel like I've been eating more than usual. Especially junk food. Yesterday I drank a lot and ended up binge eating (of course) and I feel and look absolutely *disgusting*. So my solution is to try my hand at fasting. The issue is that if I don't eat enough I get very fatigued and ~~kind of~~ very bitchy. However, I'm currently unemployed, and aside from my daily workout I'm pretty sedentary. So I'm limiting myself to 150ish calories if I feel like I need to eat. My go to restriction foods are carrots and tofurky slices.

At least this gives me a great way to get in the habit of staying hydrated! My goal is to be down to 85 no later than October 1. Wish me luck!

[Thinspo] Autumn/winter thinspo
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Sat Sep 12 12:22:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3koufq/autumnwinter_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ZXbj4

[Thinspo] Autumn vibes thinspo
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 12 12:19:01 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kotw8/autumn_vibes_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/ZXbj4

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 12, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 12 10:03:27 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kobu0/daily_food_diary_september_12_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 12, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Goal] 94 this morning...WITH clothes on!
/u/knocksondoors [5'2"| 86 | 16.3 |F]
Created: Sat Sep 12 08:26:22 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3knzla/94_this_morningwith_clothes_on/
---
Sorry, just excited, lol!!! Carry on with your days my lovelies!!

[Discussion] I need a plan but I can't think straight
/u/FeedMeDreams
Created: Sat Sep 12 04:17:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3knewu/i_need_a_plan_but_i_cant_think_straight/
---
I'm not taking the stimulants I've been prescribed because I abuse them. But now I can't think clearly about anything. I know I need a good routine, and a plan about what to eat and when, that will stop me going on crazy binges, but my head is full of fog. Also, weekends are usually much worse than week days.

Anyway, I feel lazy and dumb. I want to fast on Monday, but I don't know if I'll be able to, and if I fail at that, I know I'll just spend all day eating and purging, and I won't get any work done... I just don't want to be doing this any more.

5 pound weight at gain literally overnight?
/u/worldisimperfect
Created: Sat Sep 12 03:57:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kndit/5_pound_weight_at_gain_literally_overnight/
---
So I majorly slipped up last night. I was at a funeral, which as you can imagine meant that there was a lot of food consumed and with so many people looking over my shoulder I felt kind of compelled to eat - and then after the meal, we ended up ordering a Chinese takeaway because we arrived home very late. I'm not making any excuses for it - I binged, bad. Maybe 2, 3000 calories more than I should have?

But this is my problem. Yesterday morning when I weighed myself, I was 120lbs, this morning I'm 126. I feel sweaty, bloated, feverish - I'm new to this, will this happen every time I overeat? How did I gain that weight so fast?

[Discussion] 8tracks Playlist Recommendation - Thawing | Wintergirls
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 12 00:44:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kn0vb/8tracks_playlist_recommendation_thawing/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] knyburg, it's time you got help
/u/throwingaway_yourlif
Created: Fri Sep 11 20:12:30 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kmcjy/knyburg_its_time_you_got_help/
---
[removed]

[Discussion] Going back to restricting after two weeks of b/p hell. Now I just gotta keep going.
/u/GogoFrenchFry [5'8.5" | 130.2 | 19.2 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 11 19:58:51 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kmb2l/going_back_to_restricting_after_two_weeks_of_bp/
---
I fucking hate the b/p cycles more than anything. Even worse bc my throat fails if I do it many times in a roll but once I'm deep in the cycle I keep on bingeing anyways and my weight skyrockets. (gained 5kg in two weeks, hoping there is a lot of water weight there but it's still a fuckton)

Now I think I'm finally shifting back to restriction and just thinking about b/p right now is making me feel sick (even if the urges are still there a bit).

Ate 500cals today and I'm planning on a fast tomorrow (if I can find an excuse because I'm going to be doing a group project during the whole day, so people will probably want to order stuff... I wonder if I say I'm feeling sick and don't eat they will be ok??)

Also another thing that I noticed is when I'm in a b/p cycle I get really depressed, pretty much isolate myself and don't even want to leave the house, I don't even bathe everyday (fat gross pig) and sometimes sleep on the floor because I feel to gross for the bed (lol).
But when I'm restricting even if everything else fucking sucks I feel like I'm doing something, I'm moving forward. I don't need to be stuffed to be 'satisfied' anymore because the hunger pains are what is comforting now, and that amazing sensation when suddenly the hunger is gone and you just feel so light and free, like you're above food, is the best thing ever <3

Gotta remember that and keep going.


Just wish I had not gained so much weight and turned myself into a obese sea cow... BUT I'M GONNA GET THIN AGAIN if it's the last thing I do.

----

Does anyone else alternate between b/p, bingeing and restricting cycles too? How often, how intense, and how long do they last and is your weight a yoyo mess because of it? :(

[Discussion] Intro (tw: suicide talk, self-harm)
/u/INeed2BeThin [5'7" | 253.1 | 39.5 |-13.8 lbs| F]
Created: Fri Sep 11 18:21:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3km08b/intro_tw_suicide_talk_selfharm/
---
Holy shit this got long. Sorry for rambling, my (legally prescribed) Adderall is wearing off so my thoughts are back to being jumbled. The only good thing about having ADHD is having stimulant meds that make me have zero appetite. tl;dr at the end


Hi! Lurked here for a long time but I just made this account because enough is enough. I need accountability.

I'm somewhere in the USA, I don't want to be too specific because I'm paranoid haha. I'm also in the medical field.

I've always had a fucked up relationship with my body and food. Ever since the cute boy called me thunder thighs during summer camp when I was almost 12, I've hated my body. I really can't remember a time I was ever satisfied with it after that incident. I even remember where we were when he said it. It's that burned into my mind. I wasn't even a chubby child, I just had huge thighs from gymnastics. Guess who quit after that?

My relationship with food was never good since puberty. I've never been officially diagnosed because I've always been the "golden child" and could never seek help, but I've been through it all, restricting, binge/purge in high school and college, and for the past 2 years just plain bingeing.

It's been close to a month without a binge so far, I used to binge up to 5x a week at my worst. It makes me sick to even think about how much food I ate. And what's crazy is that no one has really said anything about my weight gain. I mean my fiance and parents have commented on it, but not in a "get help" kind of way, you know? More like in a - you need to be healthy.

Last year I tried to kill myself by overdosing on pills. I took half and saved the other half under my pillow because I didn't want to die while my fiance was awake, I would hate to die in his arms. I planned to do it while he was sleeping so there was no way I could be saved. But somehow, I really have no idea how, he put his hands under the pillow and found all the pills. So off to the hospital and then a psych ward I went. They put me on an antidepressant and I honestly haven't had any suicidal thoughts. But I still hate myself sometimes.

I'm just so fucking fat now. And I hate myself for letting it get this way. Food is always on my mind. Whether it is about how much I want to eat it or how much I can't eat it, I can't stop thinking about it. I hate looking in mirrors because it forces me to see my reality.


Plus my fiance is in great shape. Like how did I even get him shape (actually, I was about 80 pounds lighter when we started dating). I try to avoid going out with him because we just look so contrasting, I always feel like people are staring at us and feel bad for him or something. I know my weight bothers him, but he's been good enough not to mention it outside of "let's go to the gym/be more active". I don't want to fail as a wife to him. He shouldn't have to be repulsed while having sex. He says it doesn't bother him, but if I was in his shoes I know I'd be repulsed to have to look at/have sex with someone covered in stretch marks and cellulite.

I'm really good at putting on a "everything is peachy" facade. The only way anyone would know something is wrong is if they lived in my mind. I'm really good at hiding things. People probably think my life is perfect, except it's not because of how much I hate myself sometimes. I'm a little better now because of the antidepressant, but I have my days.

I'm a major perfectionist, very type A (but without the anger/aggression issues) so I've always been tough on myself. I used to cut in high school - started on my forearms then moved to my thighs after my mom found out. When I was cutting, I didn't have an issue with food because - I don't know, not a psychologist. But yeah.

Anyway, I'm glad I stumbled upon this place when I did. I never had anyone to talk to who would understand and not be judgmental, so it's nice.

**tl;dr:** I'm a type A perfectionist undiagnosed (probably EDNOS/OSFED) medical field person who is getting married in a year and looks like a whale.





[Tip] [tips and a life story] Hi, I'm a Taz
/u/marionette702
Created: Fri Sep 11 17:56:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3klx62/tips_and_a_life_story_hi_im_a_taz/
---
This is going to be really, *really* long post probably. I'm a kinda wordy cunt.

I'm 17 and I'm somewhere in an eating disordered limbo. (I'm sure you understand this. You know, you're supposed to recover and you're gaining weight but you're secretly disdaining every moment of recovery and wishing that you can go back to your secretive ways.)

I don't really know where it started or where it came from, but ever since I started olanzapine (Zyprexa), I have been gaining weight and my usual methods of suppressing and restricting my appetite haven't been working because then I just go into the kitchen and eat three bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I'm 119.8lbs which is WAYYYYY above my ultimate no-no weight. (For me, I would strive to be under 110lbs and when I get close to that (like at 105lbs) I would step up my restriction game.) MY UGW is 85.5 (a little above or a little below is a-okay with me) and I'm 5'3''.

When I was 16 and at Four Winds (a mental hospital in upstate New York), I was at my lowest weight in years (92.7lbs). My boyfriend (whom I met there) wasn't happy about that and I tried to appease him by gaining weight.

Oh Lord, this post is a hot mess.

I guess I'm asking for tips on how to suppress an appetite while you're on a medicine that causes weight gain and an increased appetite. If it comes to me having to pick between being thin and being able to sleep at night then I'll strive to make that choice. I don't like feeling the rolls on my belly or seeing my thighs touch. It's as bad as me not being able to wash my hands when they're absolutely grimy/I touch something that makes my skin crawl.

But enough about me, how about you all? :)

[Help] Slipped up bad today :c
/u/Panda_Melody
Created: Fri Sep 11 14:03:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kl0yk/slipped_up_bad_today_c/
---
I was doing so well with my restricting and today i was supposed to have a lunch date with my bf and i had it all planned out. We were going to go to this local deli and i was gonna get their organic vegitarian soup which is only like 200 cal for a massive bowl of it and id get a small salad from the bar with no dressing.

Instead we get to the place and whats right across the street? A burger joint, his favorite burger joint. So he begged me to go there and was so excited about it. So we ended up going there. I thought maybe i could just get a salad or something. wrong. They only had burgers.
So i settled for a grilled chicken sandwich they had. I ate almost the whole thing and a few sweet potato fries and now i feel supper gross and bloated and i have no idea how manny calories were in this stupid thing :/


[Goal] getting back on track after Labor day weekend (plus a count-down chart freebie)
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 11 10:58:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kk9ve/getting_back_on_track_after_labor_day_weekend/
---
**TL;DR jump to the bottom of the post if you're just here for the freebie!**

Hello everyone! I thought I'd share this with you in case anyone else (like myself) has a slight obsession with printables, charts, count-downs, journaling or just has a goal in mind for the end of the year.

In August I was doing really well sticking to my rules and was consistently losing 2 pounds a week. Then, I went on a trip over the Labor day weekend with my SO and his cousins, and even though I only ate the equivalent of one meal throughout the whole weekend, there was definitely some rule-breaking...

- The meal I had was breakfast: Eggs over-easy with (*cough*buttered*cough*) sourdough toast and a side of fruit. Two cups of coffee. One slice of bacon. Food baby.

- Then I went HAM with drinks two out of three nights. I'm sure I had more to drink those two nights than I have over the entire summer. Hello, carbs!

It's taken me a few days to get focused again but as of yesterday I'm excited to say I'm back on track for one of my major goals:

(*I don't know if many of you had noticed it written in* [*huge block letters one one of the pages of my planner*](https://www.reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3imh6z/how_do_you_stay_on_track_i_use_a_large_postit_on/cuhpzse) *lol...*)

> **I will be 105 by Christmas**

Aaaanyway this is all a very roundabout way of presenting to you [a little count-down chart](http://i.imgur.com/6zwjgzs.jpg) I made yesterday. Yesterday, September 10, was day 1 and Christmas is day 107. I have a fat green marker that I use to fill in the circles in the right-hand column (on days where I stick to my plan. A red "X" will mark any fuck-up days) to count down until Christmas.

I figured if anyone else has a goal they're working towards between now/yesterday and Christmas, then they can use this chart to keep track! CC re: your own goals are welcome :)

**The calendar of my count-down chart was originally created by Amanda Zampelli via her blog [Me & My Big Ideas](http://www.meandmybigideas.com/blog/freeprintables-perpetualcalendar). Check out her [gallery](http://www.meandmybigideas.com/gallery-freeprintables) for more free printables!*

**TL;DR [here's the link](http://i.imgur.com/6zwjgzs.jpg) for anyone who didn't want to read the whole post**

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 11, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Fri Sep 11 10:04:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kk1vs/daily_food_diary_september_11_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 11, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Quick Introduction
/u/lindzeyy [5'5"| CW 139.2 | 23.4 | -30.8 | F]
Created: Fri Sep 11 01:06:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kii7u/quick_introduction/
---
I've been lurking for a while, but made a side account so I can finally post.

I'm 22 and live in California. I naturally sit at a normal weight, but was forced to gain weight during recovery. I hate the weight gain, naturally, but I don't binge and purge anymore. I never thought I'd be able to stop, but it happened.

So I'm back to restricting. My anti-depressant also gives me great energy and zero appetite, so I dropped 15 pounds insanely fast. I'm hoping to drop another 38 by the end of January at the max.

I can't wait to get back down and have some support and inspiration here. [Here](http://40.media.tumblr.com/04018f56191b5efc5f5315418b09cb66/tumblr_nu0izphkpy1rsyaepo1_1280.png) are a [few](https://41.media.tumblr.com/9603270c7dd1cb602a74929a9bfa7ae2/tumblr_nmwvw7WC3n1s2g2b3o1_540.jpg) pics that keep me [going](https://41.media.tumblr.com/05a44220a8c8e9fd636bc9ed442a756a/tumblr_n5q2g8nrVG1ru82wio1_500.jpg).

Get some god damn treatment already!!
/u/HammiesCantGetMeDown
Created: Fri Sep 11 01:01:17 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kihri/get_some_god_damn_treatment_already/
---
[removed]

[CCW] Introduction
/u/rachihc [5'5 | 101 | 16.4| F]
Created: Thu Sep 10 23:59:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kic7k/introduction/
---
Hi,
Well, I am now 24 years old, from Peru (so, sorry for my bad english, its my 4th language). I am longer living with this ED but most of the time I am on a balance I like. But just recently had a terrible brake after a previous bad one. Now I am crashing down to the deep depression point for weeks I am not able to go out of the bed, I am forced to eat sometimes but I throw up out of sadness. I have lost some weight but I feel every day more disgusting. Only moment I feel out of my hole is when I do yoga, I really recomend it if you are in a bad moment.

Edit: I am a vegan too, and that actually helped me sneak out of most foods.

I feel like a yo-yo...
/u/Betweengreen
Created: Thu Sep 10 21:44:43 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3khy77/i_feel_like_a_yoyo/
---
Some days I don't even feel disordered. I eat 400 cals throughout the day and I feel marvelous and in control and (dare I say) thin.

And then some days I feel so fat. Like disgusting, haven't made any progress, I should be restricting more,
What the hell is wrong with me fat. And those days I'm like... What's the point.... But I restrict anyways.

And then some days, I don't care at all. Like I feel like a normal person. I try to restrict to 600 but think "that's dumb!" And then go up to 1,000 .... Then end up feeling so full and purging it all.

Overall I've only lost like 2lbs with this method. I've been disordered for years (as in struggle with self hate and food issues) but only I got strict around 3 weeks ago. I have been eating 400-600 a day for that period of time, along with working out 5days/week. I went from 104 down to 101.8, then back up to 102.8 so I feel like I've made no real progress.

My random binges are far and between and I always purge it all..... What is wrong with me :( I feel best when I restrict but I feel discouraged when I'm strict and I don't lose :( I need motivation to keep restricting cause it feels like it's not doing anything!!!:( like if you think in terms of averages 102.8 is only about a pound away from my SW soooo what the hell! Do I just need more time for things to average out? Could it be water weight since my sodium intake has been kinda high?

I'm just so depressed and I feel like a failure but also like I can't quit or else I'll be fat forever....

H: 5"2
Sw: 105
Cw: 102
GW : 100
Ugw: 90
Hw: 116
Lw: 101



[Thinspo] Who do you want to be 3? [anti-binge thinspo]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 10 19:46:06 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3khjs0/who_do_you_want_to_be_3_antibinge_thinspo/
---
http://imgur.com/a/plpeh

[Discussion] DAE have moments like this?
/u/ikillsouls
Created: Thu Sep 10 18:33:36 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3khafi/dae_have_moments_like_this/
---
This morning I woke up feeling great about myself because I have been having a great week food wise. I tried on my jeans and they were loose, which felt really good because theyre the smallest pair I own (25 inches around the waist). I thought I would take progress pics because I just felt so good. So I went on to take some but when I saw them II just felt so grossed out. The pictures made me look at least twice as big as i felt, I felt so gross looking at pictures of my body, I had to delete them immediately. i didnt feel so great afterwards. on the plus side, that was my incentive for the day, so I haven't binged and have stayed at 500 cals all day!

Does anyone else have moment like this?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 10 18:22:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kh912/does_anyone_else_have_moment_like_this/
---
[deleted]

[Goal] Just wanted to share some success (and a bit of a failure)
/u/star-of-morning
Created: Thu Sep 10 18:18:26 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kh8h3/just_wanted_to_share_some_success_and_a_bit_of_a/
---
SO from restricting yesterday I'm down 2 lbs. Yay! My goal is to lose 3 more pounds by Saturday. Also, today I worked two horses and according to my Nike fuel band, I burned 592 calories between riding this one horse and my own horse. I was feeling great today!

But then my trainer suggested we go out for Mexican food...I was stressing about that so much but it ended up being not too bad. He ordered some nachos for us. It had chicken, cheese, black beans, guac, pico and sour cream. I stayed away from the guac, pico and sour cream but couldn't pick out the rest. I had 5 nachos and it left me satisfied, not full. I was slightly disappointed because I planned on restricting.

I finished eating at the restaurant about 2 hours ago and I'm still not hungry so I probably won't eat the rest of the day. If I do, it'll be something small like fruit or yoghurt.

Anyways, just wanted to share how proud I am of the 2 pounds in 1 day as well as the amazing amount of calories I burned today. Hope you're all having a great day.

[Discussion] No food today and not even hungry!
/u/[deleted]
Created: Thu Sep 10 18:00:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kh60m/no_food_today_and_not_even_hungry/
---
[deleted]

[Discussion] What does everyone think about diet sodas?
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Thu Sep 10 15:54:10 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kgouo/what_does_everyone_think_about_diet_sodas/
---
I find that drinking diet soda makes me think I'm having a treat, even though the can says it's zero calories. Is this true, are there actually zero calories? Does anyone else here use diet soda as a "treat"?

[Tip] physical hunger vs emotional hunger
/u/Noroeste [5'6 | 131.5 lbs | 21.36 | F]
Created: Thu Sep 10 15:14:45 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kgit1/physical_hunger_vs_emotional_hunger/
---
http://i.imgur.com/h7aTHVa.jpg

[Discussion] Just an introduction :)
/u/china_doll [5'5.5|149.0|24.61|120|F]
Created: Thu Sep 10 13:55:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kg57x/just_an_introduction/
---
Hi everyone :) I've been lurking for a while and I think it's time to introduce myself. I've had an eating disorder since I was about 15. I went into recovery about 3 years ago but I've been miserable with myself ever since. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and when we started going out I was so... Thin.

The happiness of a new relationship combined with advice from my counselor to develop a healthier relationship with food has caused me to BALLOON. I HATE myself when I look in the mirror now. I'm a whale. My thighs are like ham hocks, my ass is enormous. There's not a single bodily aspect I like about myself anymore. I used to be 119lbs and I desperately want to get back there. Time to cut out all the shit I've been eating and see some bones again! Looking forward to sharing more with you all.

An introduction and a little plea haha
/u/VioletRose93
Created: Thu Sep 10 11:50:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kfiw1/an_introduction_and_a_little_plea_haha/
---
Hey everyone, I've been looking on here for a long time but only now feel the guts to actually make myself known, I have a lot of issues with social anxiety and even though this is the internet it's still hard to try to integrate into it. In fact I've been trying to do this for a week but have been feeling too scared to.
Iā€™ve been struggling for about five years now on and off, my mum nearly died to ana about six years ago which had a big impact upon me. It made me feel so worthless but being in control of this has kept me sane over the years! Around 16 my weight got so low that I was nearly hospitalised, my bmi went below 15 which I've never gotten as low as since then. I'm really conscious of what I eat now and this forum has helped me a lot.
I managed to get into uni and did semi ok although I had more than one rough patch where I alternated between fat and thin which led to me nearly taking my life in October 2013 due to how low I felt about myself and now I think it might be a good idea to join a forum like this.
Everyone on here seems so nice and supportive and Iā€™d love to be able to comment and talk with you guys. Iā€™ve been feeling pretty alone for a while now with no one to talk to, I donā€™t really have friends, I find it a lot easier to talk to people online.
So yeah, thatā€™s a bit of a background to me. Nice to meet you all.

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 10, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Thu Sep 10 10:03:53 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kf0f9/daily_food_diary_september_10_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 10, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] How to combat a lack of energy caused by restricting?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 9 22:58:00 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kcrno/how_to_combat_a_lack_of_energy_caused_by/
---
It didn't matter so much in the summer, but now that school is here I need energy for clinicals, seminars and studying that I just don't have. Coffee only works up to a point unfortunately :(

About to B/P. Waiting for the pizza. Crying my eyes out.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 9 17:54:05 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kbj9y/about_to_bp_waiting_for_the_pizza_crying_my_eyes/
---
[deleted]

I went to the doctor and I gained four pounds!
/u/CharChar12 [5' 9.5 |123lbs|17.52| Male]
Created: Wed Sep 9 17:42:55 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kbhe3/i_went_to_the_doctor_and_i_gained_four_pounds/
---
...but I STUFFED myself with cauliflower and diet soda before they weighed me. Is it actually possible to hold four pounds of food and drink?!

[Discussion] Does anyone else find being sick to be more of a relief than a burden?
/u/Panda_Melody
Created: Wed Sep 9 16:46:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kb7d7/does_anyone_else_find_being_sick_to_be_more_of_a/
---
Ive been sick for the past 4 days with flu like symptoms and a sinus infection that keeps threatening to go supernova or not, and i havent been able to keep anything down. So nobody has been pressuring me to eat. Its very freeing.

Personaly. I LOVE being sick for just this reason. Nobody guilts you into eating or trys to shove food down your throat. They get that your sick and as a result not hungry. Its just so relaxing not to have to hide anything or make excuses about food.

Although the constant fountain of snot is less than desireable.

[Help] I think I ruined everything all because of my birthday
/u/incerta [5'4"| 85.6 | 15 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 9 13:52:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3kadb5/i_think_i_ruined_everything_all_because_of_my/
---
My birthdays was this weekend, and I had been restricting a lot leading up to it so I could eat a little more than usual. Only I think I might have gone overboard because the scale showed a number that I am VERY unhappy with as of yesterday. See, I didn't just overeat on my birthday, I overate for the whole weekend (Fri-Sun) AND Monday. I don't know if it's all water weight or what, but I feel like shit about myself. I feel like all my hard work was for nothing. I can't believe I let myself break my restrictive habits, I was doing so well. I'm so afraid I won't be able to bounce back to losing weight.

Sorry for the rant. This has been bothering me more than anything, and you all are always so understanding <3

Binged today and feel awful about it
/u/Journeytothin [5'6 | 129.9 | 21.0 | f]
Created: Wed Sep 9 13:22:12 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3ka838/binged_today_and_feel_awful_about_it/
---
I hit my all time low this past Sunday at 133 (at 5'6"), and still have a looonnnngggg way to go. These past 3 weeks I've been consistently staying under 500kcal a day & walking at least 10k steps per day and, according to my fitbit, at a 1500-1800kcal deficit for each day. (I don't think that's 100% accurate all the time but it's correct enough for me to have lost 3 pounds each week.)

but today, I baked brownies for a coworker and ate four. I work for a catering company as my part time job & ate two cookies. I feel awful and disgusting and I don't know why I'm compromising my progress like this. I feel like I've destroyed everything I've been working for :(

How can I prevent this from happening again!? Any words of advice or encouragement would be so helpful because I feel so disappointed in myself.

[Help] I have a weird relationship with food
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 115 | 18.2 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 9 12:08:29 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k9w0a/i_have_a_weird_relationship_with_food/
---
I have issues with food. I spend a great deal of time thinking about weight and food. Especially food. I sometimes wonder if other peoples lives are influenced by it as much as mine. I can't eat like most people seem to be able to. Eating normal portions is hard. I binge, restrict, binge, restrict, count, count again... There are periods of time in which I have no urge to eat, and days like these I can easily maintain my restrictions. There are periods of time when I don't miss food at all (and am satisfied with just shakes). But there are also bad days, and then I can't help to find myself eating a lot of junk... I think I talk a lot about food, about eating it and about how I crave something. And then I get carried away and eat too much, and then I feel like crap again, and I start to diet and restrict, and then I fail, and feel miserable again, and when things are finally going well again I fail again, and again, and this cycle goes on and on... Usually I can't have food in my apartment, because I'll just eat everything at once. It's exhausting. I wonder how other people do it. I can't remember not making troubles in my head about food. Others don't seem to think about it nearly as obsessively as I do. It feels like my influence on my thoughts is slipping. I was able to keep ('think') myself healthy for quite some time. I had it all under control, but I am not sure of that any more. Why am I adjusting my goals? Why are my binges getting worse? And most importantly, why am I currently at my lowest weight, but don't feel more thin or pretty than when I still had those exrta 20lbs? If anything, the hate for myself is growing, exponentially you may say...


I am really sorry, I think I just needed to vent... I sometimes feel so alone in this.... I'm afraid I'm not as mentally stable as I thought, or as I want to be. Sometimes I worry about losing control over my life... This sub has helped me a lot so far, I'm sorry I am mostly lurking and not contributing.



(Edit: While writing this post I was making noodles as pity, sorry, miserable-mood food but I just threw it away after reading it back... I feel a bit better than before

More edit: tried to solve some grammar errors)

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 09, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Wed Sep 9 10:01:40 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k9aqe/daily_food_diary_september_09_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 09, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] Introducing myself + My "Story"
/u/paperdoll110 [5'7" | 119 | 18.57 | F]
Created: Wed Sep 9 09:50:44 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k9914/introducing_myself_my_story/
---
Hi all! I'm a longtime lurker and finally wanted to make a post to introduce myself.


Iā€™ve been struggling on and off with my ED for years. I was nearly hospitalized in high school, and even though I did pretty well n school I eventually dropped out because of this. I somehow managed to get my life together around 19, but that same year things got bad again and Iā€™ve been therapy since then. Iā€™m a few months from turning 21 and I can feel myself slipping back. Things in my life have been crazy, Iā€™ve lost my apartment due to my roommate not paying their rent, one of my parents was arrested in front of me, and now my current living situation may no longer be working out. My only escape the past few years has been my job. But lately what I do has been contributing to all my issues. A big part of my job is working in social media and advertising so Iā€™m often being photographed (very low key ā€œmodelingā€ if you will) or photographing other people. With work Iā€™m constantly surrounded by beautiful, happy girls with seemingly perfect lives. Some part of me knows what the other girls seem like to me isnā€™t entirely true, thatā€™s sort of what advertising and social media IS- presenting ONLY the best parts of yourself, at least it is with what I do, but I never feel good enough around them. I mean I do the same work as them but theyā€™re in school and doing amazing things with their life and theyā€™re SO HAPPY. I know I do good work but I feel like being diligent with tasks canā€™t really compare to an amazing personality and I just donā€™t have one. Iā€™m surrounded by bubbly extroverts and Iā€™m sad all the time and I have absolutely no social life and I feel like nothing compared to them. It was the same thing before I lost myself in my job. Growing up it was ballet and figure skating, it didnā€™t matter how ā€œtechnically goodā€ I was, I just didnā€™t compare.


Anyway Iā€™ve been feeling incredibly alone and isolated lately, worse than ever with not only my ED but depression and anxiety, and all forums and sites I used to go to are either gone or turned to crap. This seems like a lovely community and I thought I might find some kindred spirits here :)


Sorry for literally writing a freaking novel.


[Thinspo] Thank you to those who helped with thinspo for the collage, and thank you to my favorite subreddit for being so inspiring!
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Wed Sep 9 07:53:56 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k8qlx/thank_you_to_those_who_helped_with_thinspo_for/
---
http://imgur.com/a/HKr22

[Help] I was doing so well so far...
/u/[deleted]
Created: Wed Sep 9 07:34:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k8nxy/i_was_doing_so_well_so_far/
---
[deleted]

[Tip] Reporting on the "Mental Gastric Bypass"
/u/SgtSarah [5'1 | 97 | 19 | -18| F]
Created: Wed Sep 9 06:36:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k8ga6/reporting_on_the_mental_gastric_bypass/
---
In case anyone was curious, I've been trying it. (eating only four bites of each meal.) It's annoying having throw all that food away but im on a college meal plan so I already paid for it no matter what I do with it. Also, even though I shouldnt be counting calories on this diet, I feel like it's made me choose fattier foods since I figured I wouldn't eat that much of them. My weight loss has slowed because of it, my old routine had been two meals with no carbs each day, I think I'll go back to that one. On the other hand though, it gave me the freedom to try all the 'bad' foods around campus so I know now im not missing much. And I did not experience any strong cravings, fatigue, or insomnia while I followed this diet, while normally I experience those things daily. So it could be worth using as a little "break" from more extreme diets, to let your body sort itself out again. Aside from that, I would only suggest this diet if you are in a situation where only unhealthy foods are available, or if you know you need to eat something specific to avoid binging on it later.

[Help] When you drink a whole lot, and eat and eat
/u/heyhiohhello [5'6" | 115 | 17.03 | f]
Created: Wed Sep 9 02:48:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k7s0e/when_you_drink_a_whole_lot_and_eat_and_eat/
---
welcome to me on the floor doing circuit training at 5:47am to burn it off, not even 20 minutes after I consumed. I hate this. My arms hurt. Conceivably, I have ~180 calories left to go

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 08, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Tue Sep 8 10:03:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k3wgg/daily_food_diary_september_08_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 08, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] look thinner for event
/u/[deleted]
Created: Tue Sep 8 09:49:13 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k3ual/look_thinner_for_event/
---
[removed]

[Help] Help! I need tips on not eating around people.
/u/ikillsouls
Created: Mon Sep 7 19:36:24 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k1fvn/help_i_need_tips_on_not_eating_around_people/
---
So I just started college last week, and pretty much every day after class I've been asked by some friends to go with them to lunch. I've been careful, saying I ate at home and just ordering a water or diet coke. But the other day my friend sort of pressured me because she didn't want to "eat infront of someone who wasn't eating" so I ate a bagel and thensome chips. I felt disgusting. I'm planning to do a fast this week because I ate so much today, but I don't know how to go about it if I'm going to be around friends. Any tips?

[Discussion] Starting a three day fast, anyone wanna join in?
/u/lardis [5'4 | 122 lbs | 21.0 | f]
Created: Mon Sep 7 18:55:19 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k1ant/starting_a_three_day_fast_anyone_wanna_join_in/
---
Title says it all. If anyone's willing to join me we can swap kik/skype and share our tips and rants and whatnot. Things are always more fun with friends :)

[Goal] Someone described me as "curvy" today
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 122 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 7 18:12:46 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k15hd/someone_described_me_as_curvy_today/
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I think they meant it as a compliment.

But that disgusts me. Curvy is another word for fat. Voluptuous. Gross.

I don't want to be curvy.

I want to me angular. Androgynous. Hell, I want to be awkward. Gawkish.

Anything but "curvy".

[Thinspo] Those bones...
/u/skinnypod [5'6" | 122 | 20.3 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 7 18:09:39 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3k151z/those_bones/
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http://imgur.com/Q8RGV9g

[Help] Not losing as fast as I thought and not sure why, I am discouraged. Advice needed
/u/crc10320 [5'1'' | 127 | - 53 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 7 10:28:08 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jzjm6/not_losing_as_fast_as_i_thought_and_not_sure_why/
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For the past week I have been averaging 0-300 calories a day for the past 6 days. I also ran about 2 miles, 4 of those days. I am discouraged because I have only lost ONE POUND. wtf? I was hoping at least three. I have been sore from running, so I thought I was retaining water but I have yet to drop anything past the one pound. Anyone have any thoughts? I want to cry. I want to keep going but afraid Ill binge since Im not seeing results. Any advice?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 07, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 7 10:04:34 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jzgf2/daily_food_diary_september_07_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 07, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Help] Would you help me out with your -favorite- thinspo? Planning to make a collage notebook.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Mon Sep 7 08:49:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jz6yq/would_you_help_me_out_with_your_favorite_thinspo/
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It's not that I'm too lazy to search haha! It'd just feel nicer to flip through the pages knowing you guys personally helped me out <3

[Tip] 'Soylent.com - Free your body.' I hate eating... So I drink my nutrients
/u/Skinnytw [5'6 | 115 | 18.2 | F]
Created: Mon Sep 7 07:28:52 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jyy54/soylentcom_free_your_body_i_hate_eating_so_i/
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https://www.soylent.com/

[Discussion] Weekly Stats Update! September 07, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Mon Sep 7 06:08:16 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jyqch/weekly_stats_update_september_07_2015/
---
This is the weekly status thread for September 07, 2015.

The weekly status thread is to help motivate our users, and to eventually see how far they've come! Be it for weight loss, weight gain, or maintaining- everyone is welcome. For more information, [visit our wiki on the stats update.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/resources#wiki_chart) Previous updates are archived [here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/proED/wiki/archives)

Please include the following information (with all necessary units of measurement):

* Height:

* Current weight (CW):

* Highest weight (HW):

* Lowest weight (LW):

* Goal weight (GW):

* Ultimate goal weight (UGW):

* Weight lost (WL):

* BMI: ([Use this to calculate your BMI](https://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/trefethen/bmi_calc.html))

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Here's a handy-dandy copy/paste of the above format:

* Height:

* CW:

* HW:

* LW:

* GW:

* UGW:

* WL:

* BMI:

* Age:

* Gender expression:

Please inform us in your post if you would **not** like to be added to the community stats chart, or if you would like certain stats to be withheld (specify which).

^Status ^threads ^are ^posted ^every ^Monday.

^Have ^any ^questions ^or ^concerns? ^Comment ^below, ^or [^PM ^the ^mods.](http://aa.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FproED)


[Discussion] Instagram thinspo?
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sun Sep 6 19:49:50 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jx82m/instagram_thinspo/
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I just joined instagram, so I'm wondering if anyone here knows of any thinspo posters to follow?

[Discussion] Got a bottle of ephedrine today!
/u/TargaryenPie [5"7 | 110 | 17.5 | F]
Created: Sun Sep 6 19:39:09 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jx6tj/got_a_bottle_of_ephedrine_today/
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Hooray for it being totally legal in Canada! I'm so excited to try it. It's 8mg per pill, which might be enough?? Anyone have experience? Should I be taking 2 a day?

[Discussion] Opinions on 'cheat day'?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sun Sep 6 13:05:33 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jvvwj/opinions_on_cheat_day/
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There was a youtube video in which a girl was talking about how she lost weight. Besides exercising she'd count calories, 1200 a day, but one day of the week, for 24 hours, she'd just eat whatever she felt like. Pizza, tacos, chocolate, whatever.

What do you think?

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 06, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sun Sep 6 10:03:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jv8rl/daily_food_diary_september_06_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 06, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Thinspo] can i cry?
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sun Sep 6 07:00:54 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jupis/can_i_cry/
---
http://i.imgur.com/kXnm45I.png

[Discussion] Are introductory posts welcome here?
/u/star-of-morning
Created: Sun Sep 6 00:31:20 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jtz3y/are_introductory_posts_welcome_here/
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I don't really know where to begin with this. I guess I'll start with my age? I'm 21 and I've been struggling with anorexia since I was 14, and have been recovered on and off since I was 16. This year I thought I was totally recovered. I had been seeing my therapist every week and my eating habits have been great. Oh, I also have a horse and have a very active lifestyle as I am an amateur equestrian athlete. However, after a really nasty break up in April, I feel like I've let myself go. I put on 10 pounds due to not caring about my diet and skipping out on riding - all due to being depressed about my break up.

I weighed myself earlier this week and could not believe I've put on 10 pounds. I always thought recovery was a beautiful thing, but right now I feel like restricting is so much easier. The thought of eating 3 full meals and 2 snacks a day like I had been doing while "recovered" is terrifying. The thought of putting more than 500 calories a day into my body is terrifying. I miss being able to effortlessly feel my ribs, hip bones and collar bones. I miss feeling completely drained and exhausted, falling asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow at night. I miss the energetic high from running on so few calories.

Weighing how much I weigh is absolutely terrifying. I mean, I know I look great being an athlete and all, but the number scares me so much. I can't stand it anymore and I need support. So I'm here.

I look forward to keeping in touch with the rest of you on this sub.

(And no, this is not my main Reddit account. I'm sure you all understand.)

Also, the bot told me to flair this but I wasn't sure what flair this post would go under. Please forgive and correct me if there's another flair I should use!

[Discussion] New here, little introduction. :)
/u/Viscura
Created: Sat Sep 5 20:03:15 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jtaju/new_here_little_introduction/
---
self

[Discussion] What side effects of starving do you like/hate?
/u/sunshinechild [5'6" | 115 | 18.6 | f]
Created: Sat Sep 5 15:41:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jsghw/what_side_effects_of_starving_do_you_likehate/
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There are some things that I probably shouldn't enjoy but I do. I like feeling dizzy when I get up. (don't judge me lol). I like feeling weak physically. It's hot where I am right now and everyone starts sweating when the temperature hits 90 but I'm not bothered by it at all. It won't be so great when winter comes.

I get people telling me they like hunger pains but I can't stand them. That and insomnia holy shit.

[Discussion] Getting out of the binge restrict cycle
/u/Klairvoyant [5'6 | 94 | 15.2 | -33 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 5 14:10:28 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3js4k9/getting_out_of_the_binge_restrict_cycle/
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I usually follow a pattern that goes something like this: 7 days of restricting below 600, 1 day of binging to 3000. Obviously, binging impairs my weight loss. But basically, doing this, I'm having around 900 calories a day.

My plan is to eat 900 calories a day for two weeks, then drop to 800 calories a day, then continue dropping every two weeks until I'm comfortably at 600. I'm hoping the gradual drop and the normalizing will get me out of the binge restrict cycle. My weight currently is still heavy enough that this should probably work.

I know a lot of you struggle with binge restrict, so ill update my progress with this plan every few weeks and tell you guys if this works.

[Thinspo] The banner of this subreddit inspired me so much! I printed it and placed it in my necklace to have it close whenever I'm craving.
/u/IwontTryAnotherName [5'6''| 125 |19.8 | -5| f]
Created: Sat Sep 5 11:30:35 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jrjhu/the_banner_of_this_subreddit_inspired_me_so_much/
---
http://imgur.com/a/YxOAN

[Thinspo] The banner of this subreddit inspired me so much! Printed it and placed it in my necklace to have it close whenever I'm craving.
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 5 10:38:38 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jrcu8/the_banner_of_this_subreddit_inspired_me_so_much/
---
http://imgur.com/a/7eqCY

[Discussion] Daily Food Diary! September 05, 2015
/u/AutoModerator
Created: Sat Sep 5 10:03:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jr87m/daily_food_diary_september_05_2015/
---
This is a daily food diary thread for September 05, 2015.

You do not necessarily need to wait until the end of the day to post all your meals. You can post now and then edit. Please include calories.

A possible format:

* **Breakfast**

* **Lunch**

* **Dinner**

* **Snacks**

* **Total:**

A calorie estimate/calculation is encouraged!


[Discussion] 5 pounds in one week?
/u/runningonempty94 [5'5" | 130 | 21.6 | F]
Created: Sat Sep 5 09:47:07 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jr654/5_pounds_in_one_week/
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Hi guys. I was wondering if it's physically possible to lose 5 pounds of non-water weight in one week. According to my scale, that's what I did this week. I was super dehydrated when I weighed myself last week, but I wasn't this week, which makes me think it wasn't water weight. I just moved back to school so have been eating/exercising really differently, which may have affected my metabolism.

But still, five pounds feels like *a lot* for one week. Do you think it's possible, or do you think this is a fluke and I should expect it to go up next week, or is it likely my scale is just broken or something?

[Thinspo] Who do you want to be? 2 [anti-binge thinspo]
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 5 08:38:03 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jqxmy/who_do_you_want_to_be_2_antibinge_thinspo/
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http://imgur.com/a/8e4DY

[Discussion] Roommate figured it out
/u/[deleted]
Created: Sat Sep 5 08:00:42 2015
Permalink: http://reddit.com/r/proED/comments/3jqtbu/roommate_figured_it_out/
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[deleted]